Minerva s Manoeuvres 
 
 Charles Battell Loomis

 
 MINERVA S MANEUVEES
 
 The balloon, Minerva, a shriek and a shout. 
 
 Page 402.
 
 Minerva s Manoeuvres 
 
 The Cheerful Facts of a " Return to Nature " 
 
 By 
 CHARLES BATTELL LOOMIS^ 
 
 Author of "Cheerful Americans," 
 Etc. 
 
 Illustrated by Frederic R. Gruger 
 
 New York 
 
 A. S. Barnes & Company 
 1905
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1905 BY 
 A. S. BARNES & CO. 
 
 Published August, 1905
 
 Co 
 
 J. B.
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 When a play makes a tremendous hit the 
 author is called before the curtain and after 
 bowing and allowing his heart (and his head) 
 to swell more and more, he generously points 
 to the actors and actresses who are grouped 
 around him as much as to say, "They did 
 it." 
 
 And then the audience goes wild at such 
 unselfishness and cries of Speech, speech ! 
 fend the air and the author has arrived at 
 the happiest moment of his life. He feels 
 that all creation was evolved just for this 
 supreme moment and his knees shake and (in 
 a voice surcharged with emotion) he says 
 things that do not read well in print, but 
 which rouse the house to greater enthusiasm, 
 and he wishes that William Shakespeare 
 could have lived to see this night, and goes 
 home to dream happy dreams. 
 
 Sometimes he can t contain his speech any 
 longer than the end of the third act, and with 
 vii
 
 PEEFACE 
 
 comparatively little applause, and, it may be, 
 only one solitary call of "Author" (from 
 his devoted brother in the front row) he 
 rushes to the footlights and delivers himself 
 of his pent up eloquence. And then perhaps 
 the critics jump on the piece and kill it, and 
 the next day he wishes he hadn t spoken. 
 
 But no dramatic author would think of 
 going out before the gray asbestos curtain 
 had been raised on the overture to say to the 
 cold, sternly critical audience that this was 
 the proudest moment of his life and that he 
 hoped the actors would see their duty and 
 do it. That would be considered assurance. 
 
 And yet we writers of novels do rush 
 on before the first chapter has been reached 
 and sometimes we tell how it is going to end 
 and sometimes we give the names of the 
 authorities from whom we lifted our central 
 idea, and sometimes we strike an attitude of 
 timid uncertainty and bespeak the indulgence 
 of the reader but always without response 
 of any kind. 
 
 Not a hand, not a cry of "Author": noth 
 ing but the gray asbestos curtain of silence. 
 
 Of course there are cases when a book runs 
 viii
 
 PEEFACE 
 
 into the "six best selling class" and people 
 get into the habit of buying it and the habit 
 is not broken for weeks and weeks ; and then, 
 after the twentieth edition is exhausted the 
 author comes out with a "Preface to the 
 twenty-first edition," and as he smells the 
 fragrance of the bouquets that the critics 
 have handsomely handed out and hears the 
 plaudits of those who have thronged to read 
 him he says brokenly, "I thank you. You 
 have raised me from a point where I was liv 
 ing on my brother in the front row to a posi 
 tion where I can take my pick of motor cars 
 (Not automobiles, mind you), "and while I 
 never thought of money while I was writing 
 the book, now I both think and have a good 
 deal of it. Thank you! Thank you!" 
 
 But I, (rather than not come out at all) 
 am going to squeeze before the gray asbestos 
 and say * Thank you. Critics, readers ; gen 
 tle and otherwise, I thank you from the bot 
 tom of my heart. 
 
 "If there is anything good in this book, 
 believe me it is the characters who are re 
 sponsible for it. 
 
 "And let me take this occasion to say that 
 ix
 
 PEEFACE 
 
 the book would never have been written if I 
 had not been encouraged by one who has the 
 faculty of making a man do his best. She 
 is here to-night, but I am not permitted to 
 mention her. 
 
 "I have had great fun writing Minerva s 
 Manoeuvres, and this is really the proud 
 est moment of my life. (Cheers.) My 
 heroine, Minerva, is a good girl and I can 
 give her a fine character if she should ever 
 seek a place in your hearts. 
 
 Thank you ! Thank you ! " 
 
 (Curtain goes up.) C. B. L.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER, PAGE. 
 
 I. A COERCED COOK 1 
 
 II. MINEBVA STUDIES NATURE 14 
 
 III. AN EAST WIND . . , 27 
 
 IV. A FRIENDLY BURGLAR 40 
 
 V. THE CONSTABLE CALLS 58 
 
 VI. Miss PUSSY TRIES FLY-PAPER .... 73 
 
 VII. MINERVA S PASTORAL 81 
 
 VIII. THE CORDEEN COMES 91 
 
 IX. A NAKED SCUTTERER 108 
 
 X. WE PLAN A CONCERT 123 
 
 XI. THE HORSE IN THE KITCHEN .... 134 
 
 XII. "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 140 
 
 XIII. AN UNSUCCESSFUL FIASCO 158 
 
 XIV. THE FOURTH OF JULY 173 
 
 XV. MINERVA S NATURE STUDY 194 
 
 XVI. WHEN THE LAW is ON 206 
 
 XVII. THE STORY OF A PIPE 217 
 
 XVIII. WE FIND A PIANO 225 
 
 XIX. TH OULD SCUT 240 
 
 XX. A MUSICAL TRAMP 252 
 
 XXI. WE MAKE HAY 258 
 
 XXII. "DING DONG BELL" ... .... 266 
 
 XXIII. ELIGIBLE 276 
 
 XXIV. PAT CASEY CALLS 292 
 
 XXV. A CONTINUOUS WEEK END ..... 299 
 
 XXVI. WE INVITE MORE GUESTS ..... 310 
 
 XXVII. A HOT NIGHT 319 
 
 XXVIII. " TRAMP S REST " 333 
 
 XXIX. MINEBVA AND THE SNAKE 339 
 
 XXX. A HORSEHEAD PERCH ... .... 350 
 
 XXXI. THE HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY .... 361 
 
 XXXII. WE Go TO THE FAIR 373 
 
 XXXIII. CHERRY DISPOSES .... .... 392 
 
 XXXIV. MINEBVA SETTLES IT 409 
 
 xi
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 THE BALLOON, MINERVA, A SHRIEK, AND A SHOUT 
 
 Frontispiece 
 
 " STEAL AWAY " PAGE 148 
 
 "TH 1 OULD SCUT" " 242 
 
 SHE MADE A CROQUET WICKET OF HERSELF " 858
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 A COERCED COOK. 
 
 AT the last minute we learned that the 
 girl we had counted upon to do our 
 cooking at Clover Lodge had scarlet 
 fever, and as she was the only local girl that 
 we could hire New England girls prefer 
 ring to work in a "shop" to domestic service 
 we were at our wits end. 
 
 In our extremity Mrs. Vernon (my wife) 
 made a last appeal to Minerva. She went 
 into the kitchen of our New York flat and said, 
 
 "Minerva, Mamie Logan, the girl we ex 
 pected to have up at Clover Lodge, has scar 
 let fever." 
 
 Minerva was blacking the stove (as I could 
 see from the dining room), but she stopped 
 and turned around as she always did when 
 her mistress spoke to her, and said " Yas m." 
 
 "Well, do you know what that means, Mi 
 nerva I 
 
 i
 
 2 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 11 Means she s sick, ma am." 
 
 "Yes, but it also means that I haven t any 
 body to cook for me up there." 
 
 "Yas m." 
 
 "Well, don t you think you could go up if 
 we gave you five dollars a month more than 
 you re getting now?" 
 
 Minerva rubbed her already black arm 
 with the blacking brush in an absent minded 
 sort of way as she said, 
 
 " Deed I hate the country. It s so dis 
 mal." 
 
 I would have given up trying to get her to 
 come then, as her tone sounded final to me, 
 but Mrs. Vernon caught a gleam of willing 
 ness in her expression, and she said, 
 
 1 i Some country places may be doleful, Mi 
 nerva, but Clover Lodge is in one of the most 
 beautiful places in the world, and there s a 
 light kitchen and you can take Miss Pussy, 
 you know. I m sure you ll like it and the 
 work won t be as hard as it is here and 
 there s lots of fresh air. And I ll lend you 
 books to read. If you won t come we ll have 
 to give up going, as I won t take a stranger 
 up from the city."
 
 "Yas m," said Minerva, turning to the 
 stove and beginning to use the brush again. 
 
 "Well, will you go, Minerva?" 
 
 "Yas m." 
 
 "Oh, you dear good thing," said my wife, 
 and I fully expected her to hug Minerva. 
 
 She came in to where I was finishing my 
 second cup of coffee and said, 
 
 "Minerva is a jewel. She s going up. Do 
 you know, in some ways it s better than if 
 we had Mamie Logan because Minerva is a 
 much better cook and she won t have any 
 beaux from the village to make a noise in the 
 kitchen in the evening " 
 
 "No, but you may have to import beaux 
 from Thompson Street to solace her loneli 
 ness," said I. "If I know the kind at all, 
 Minerva will die one day away from New 
 York." 
 
 "Nonsense," said Ethel. "She can t help 
 falling in love with the view from the kitchen 
 windows. That lovely old purple Mount 
 Nebo." 
 
 I had my doubts of a New York born and 
 bred colored cook falling in love with any 
 view that did not comprehend a row of city
 
 4 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 houses somewhere in its composition, but I 
 said nothing. The doctor had told me that 
 Ethel absolutely needed a long rest in the 
 "real country," hill country preferred, and 
 even if I had to go out and help Minerva in 
 the kitchen I was going up. 
 
 We had spent a delightful week at Clover 
 Lodge the year before with the Chauncey 
 Wheelocks, but this year they were going to 
 Europe and had proposed our renting it fur 
 nished and had promised Mamie Logan as 
 cook. But a cordon bleu is not immune from 
 scarlet fever, as we had found to our vexa 
 tion although I doubt if we felt it as much 
 as Mamie did. She, by the way, had actually 
 liked scenery and had told Mrs. Vernon that 
 the distant old mountain peak was company 
 for her while she was washing dishes. But 
 a purple peak would not take the place of the 
 yellow lights of a great city to Minerva and 
 I looked forward to varied experiences, al 
 though I said nothing about my expectations 
 to Ethel. 
 
 I half expected Minerva to back out when 
 it came to going, but she did not. Possibly 
 the excitement of going on the cars had some-
 
 A COERCED COOK 5 
 
 thing to do with her fortitude. Possibly the 
 diversion that "Miss Pussy" afforded made 
 her forget that she was leaving her beloved 
 city. 
 
 The cat was a startler and no mistake. 
 While the train was in motion she kept quiet, 
 but whenever we stopped at a station she let 
 forth ear splitting shrieks, acting exactly as 
 if she were being tortured. More than one 
 non-smoking man sought refuge in the smok 
 er and many were the black looks cast at Mi 
 nerva. 
 
 I was glad that she sat behind us, for I did 
 not wish to be mixed up in the affair. As 
 for her she shrieked with laughter every time 
 that the cat shrieked with dismay, and I felt 
 that the cat, though unpleasant, was really 
 making our journey easier, as it kept Mi 
 nerva from dwelling upon her exile. 
 
 We took a branch road at Springfield and 
 a half hour later we were in a wagon, climb 
 ing the steep ascent that leads to Clover 
 Lodge. 
 
 The cat, sniffing fresh air and longing to 
 be at liberty, redoubled its howls, but Mi 
 nerva no longer laughed. She looked at the
 
 6 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 distant hills in an awed sort of way and 
 sighed. 
 
 I sat with the driver, and Mrs. Vernon 
 told Minerva interesting bits about the local 
 ity through which we were passing, but a 
 languid "Yas m" was the only reply she 
 vouchsafed. She was fast falling a prey to 
 nostalgia. 
 
 Upon our arrival at Clover Lodge there 
 was enough to do to keep every one busy. 
 The frantic cat was set free as soon as we 
 arrived and she scudded under the house and 
 we saw no more of her for some time. I did 
 not think much of it at the moment, but when 
 after our somewhat picnic dinner I heard Mi 
 nerva at the back of the house calling in 
 heart breaking tones "Miss Pussy, Miss 
 Pussy, woan you come out? Come ou t," 
 I realized that I should have chained the cat 
 in the kitchen. It might stay away for a day 
 or two in order to express its contempt for 
 people who could subject it to such humilia 
 tion. 
 
 I was enjoying a smoke and Ethel was 
 lying down. Oh, what a blessed relief this
 
 A COEECED COOK 7 
 
 was from the noise and odours and bustle of 
 the city! 
 
 "I can t get out. Mist. Vernon! Mist. 
 Vernon! I can t get out. Ow." 
 
 The sounds seemed to come from under the 
 kitchen. I side-tracked my peaceful 
 thoughts, laid my cigar on the railing of the 
 piazza and ran around to the kitchen door 
 and beheld Minerva wedged fast under the 
 house. Clover Lodge has a very diminutive 
 cellar which does not extend as far as the 
 kitchen. There is a space of some two feet 
 between the kitchen floor and the ground, 
 used as a receptacle for various odds and 
 ends in the way of boxes, clothes poles and 
 the like, and our stout Minerva had attempt 
 ed to creep under there in order to get Miss 
 Pussy, whose tell-tale eyes gleamed at her 
 from the darkness. She had failed to take 
 into account the fact that her head could go 
 where her body could not follow and she had 
 become stuck. 
 
 "It s all right, Minerva. I ll get you out. 
 There s very little room for promenading 
 there. I ll have to knock a board out. I ll 
 get an axe.
 
 8 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 She kept up her groaning and at last Ethel 
 was aroused by it, and, somewhat alarmed, 
 hurried into the kitchen and saw the sprawl 
 ing figure of Minerva with Clover Lodge on 
 her back. The spectacle appealed to her 
 sense of humour and she retreated to where 
 she could laugh. 
 
 I had a somewhat ticklish job to get Mi 
 nerva out unhurt. It was awkward splitting 
 the board without touching her, but I com 
 passed it at last, although each stroke of the 
 axe was followed by a groan from Minerva, 
 a spit from the cat and a suppressed laugh 
 from Ethel, who was viewing the proceed 
 ings from a little distance. 
 
 When the board fell away and had been 
 removed, Minerva, like an alligator, crawled 
 in a little farther, so as to turn around, and 
 then she crawled out face foremost, leaving 
 Miss Pussy saying most ungenerous things 
 there in the dusk. 
 
 "The cat will come out in a while, Mi 
 nerva," said I. "Are you hurt?" 
 
 Minerva was sitting on the ground, listen 
 ing intently. 
 
 "What s dem noises?" said she; "Oh, dis
 
 A COERCED COOK 9 
 
 ain no place for me. Heah dem moanin s 
 in de grass." 
 
 "Dem moanin s in de grass" were bull 
 frogs in a little pond not far away, but I 
 dare say she pictured the meadows as full of 
 people who had been enticed from the city 
 and were now expiring under the evening 
 sky, far from their friends. 
 
 I explained what the noise was and she re 
 turned to the kitchen, while I resumed con 
 sumption of my cigar and Ethel returned to 
 her room, but in a few minutes : 
 
 "Mis. Vernon. Mis. Vernon. Ain t there 
 no more lights?" 
 
 Ethel had dropped asleep, so I went out 
 into the kitchen. Minerva had lighted two 
 lamps, and to me the kitchen looked like a 
 ball room, it was so light, but the dusky maid 
 from the Metropolis was seeing New York 
 in her mind s eye, and two kerosene lamps 
 did not take the place of the firmament of gas 
 and electric lights to which she had been used 
 all her life. 
 
 "It is the first night and I will humour 
 her, thought I, and so I brought out a lamp 
 from the parlour and another from the sit-
 
 10 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 ting room. I had the light from my cigar 
 and needed no other. 
 
 When all four lamps had united to cast 
 their radiance upon the kitchen Minerva was 
 satisfied and thanked me in a die-a-way tone 
 fhat, being interpreted, meant Give me back 
 New York with its crowds, and its noise and 
 its glitter and its entertaining gentlemen 
 and its ice cream and soda. Poor Minerva ! 
 Our joy and happiness came from the very 
 things that were the abomination of desola 
 tion to her. 
 
 Meanwhile Ethel awoke from her nap and 
 came down stairs. "Mercy, how dark it is. 
 Why didn t you light a lamp? Where are 
 you, Philip ?" 
 
 "I m out on the piazza. Come out?" 
 
 "No, dear, I want to finish that story of 
 Mrs. Everard Cotes . I m fascinated with 
 it." 
 
 "Ethel, come here," said I, in a tone full 
 of meaning. 
 
 She felt her way out. 
 
 1 Minerva needed the gleam of many lights 
 in the kitchen and I ve plucked a lamp from
 
 A COERCED COOK 11 
 
 every room. You ll tire your eyes reading. 
 Come and sit with me. 
 
 Ethel gave a little chuckle and sat down 
 in the chair I provided. 
 
 "Dear, it will end by our becoming her 
 slaves." 
 
 "Anything to keep her," said I. "Who 
 wants a light but the great light of stars. I 
 suppose that to-night on all this broad con 
 tinent there is no soul so wretched as poor 
 Minerva, deprived of her elevator man and 
 the girl across the hall and all, that we may 
 live in comfort. Who are we, Ethel, that we 
 should do this thing?" 
 
 "Oh, stop your nonsense. Minerva will 
 be all right when the sun shines." 
 
 The light from the kitchen window shone 
 away down the hill and lighted up the pool 
 in which the bull frogs were "moaning." 
 Above their chorus we heard a wail. 
 
 "What s that, an owl?" 
 
 "No, Ethel, that s a howl. It s Minerva 
 again. 
 
 We could now distinguish "So dismal!" 
 
 You go and hold her in your lap and rock 
 her to sleep. I can t," said I.
 
 12 MIXERVA S MAXCEUVRES 
 
 Ethel sighed herself. It was becoming 
 monotonous. She rose and went into the 
 kitchen, feeling her way cautiously through 
 the dark sitting room, yet stumbling over a 
 foot stool. 
 
 It looked to me as if we would be forced 
 to take turns sitting outside of Minerva s 
 bed-room door, guarding her against the hor 
 rors of a country night, but after a time Ethel 
 returned to me and told me that "Miss Pus 
 sy" had come in for dinner and that Minerva 
 was perfectly happy and was going to take 
 her to bed with her. 
 
 Soon after that she retired, and, being tired 
 out with the labours and tribulations of the 
 day. she slept like a log all night, and we were 
 enabled to enjoy our repose undisturbed. 
 
 I rose early next morning and sang gaily, 
 and I sang with a purpose. It might disturb 
 Mrs. Yemen s last nap, but it could not fail 
 to make Minerva realize that she was not 
 alone in the country, whereas if she had risen 
 first and had seen nothing in the world but 
 the great silent mountain she might have fled 
 incontinently to the city. 
 
 When she came down to the kitchen, car-
 
 A COEBCED COOK 13 
 
 rying the cat in her arms, I had already 
 started the fire. 
 
 "Good morning., Minerva," said L "I 
 haven t bnilt a kitchen fire since I was a small 
 boy, and I wanted to see if I could do it. Ex 
 cellent draught. Did you sleep well?" 
 
 The laconic answer was in itself a symp 
 tom that she felt better. 
 
 "And the eat came back?* said L 
 
 Yas r." 
 
 I left the kitchen and took a walk in the 
 cool morning air. All was well with the 
 world. Minerva had slept and had learned 
 that a night in the country was not fatal and 
 Miss Pussy had recovered her equanimity. 
 I sought for an appetite in the pine woods, 
 and I found one.
 
 CHAPTER II 
 
 MINERVA STUDIES NATURE. 
 
 I BLESSED Heaven for the lovely day 
 that had come to us. If it had been 
 rainy or even gray we should have had 
 a hard time to keep Minerva. But even a 
 hidebound cockney like herself could tolerate 
 the sweetness of the air and the softness of 
 the clouds and the brightness of the sun. 
 
 Ethel made cake so that she could be in the 
 kitchen. I did not exactly approve of it, be 
 cause the day was meant to be spent in the 
 open, and I wanted to swing hammocks out 
 in the pine woods and read a new novel which 
 had been recommended to me as excellent for 
 reading aloud, but I well knew the wisdom of 
 getting Minerva started right, and I dare say 
 that Ethel s amiable conversation made her 
 forget that the cook on the other side of the 
 hall" was nearly two hundred miles away. 
 
 14
 
 MINERVA STUDIES NATURE 15 
 
 At lunch time, Ethel looked very much 
 heated and worn, and I said to myself, Bet 
 ter me in the kitchen making impossible cake 
 and regaling Minerva with anecdotes than 
 Ethel neutralizing all the effects of this de 
 licious country air in her efforts to keep our 
 cook contented." So, after lunch, I put up 
 the hammocks and then I insisted on Ethel s 
 taking her embroidery and coming out to the 
 woods. 
 
 And what will Minerva do 1 She is afraid 
 of the crickets, and I dare not leave her all 
 the afternoon alone until she is acclimated." 
 
 "No, of course she can t be left. I didn t 
 intend her to be left. I will go and learn how 
 to make bread, or, better still, I will paint the 
 floor. Doesn t the floor need painting?" 
 
 "Now, Philip, don t be foolish. Of course 
 you can t stay in the kitchen. It s no place 
 for a man 
 
 "Nor is it any place for a woman who has 
 come to the country for her health. And 
 yet Minerva won t stay here alone. What s 
 to be done?" 
 
 Ethel thought a minute and then said: 
 
 "I have some plain sewing that I want
 
 16 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 done and Minerva is very handy with her 
 needle. She makes all her own clothes. She 
 shall come to the pine woods with us and 
 sew a fine seam until it s time to start dinner, 
 and then we can go back to the house and sit 
 on the piazza. It s not as pleasant as the 
 woods, but we ll be within ear call." 
 
 This seemed preposterous, but if I disap 
 proved and Minerva left, Ethel would be apt 
 to blame me, so I consented and we all went 
 to the grove, like a happy family of three. 
 I read out loud from the new novel, but I 
 don t think that Minerva cared much for it, 
 because when Miss Pussy, who had accompa 
 nied us, brought a bird and laid it at her mis 
 tress feet, Minerva broke right into my read- 
 ing with: 
 
 "Why, Mis. Vernon, Miss Pussy has a, 
 bird, and it ain t a sparrer an it ain t a ca 
 nary. What other kinds is there?" 
 
 Then the reading was stopped while Ethel 
 gave a lesson in ornithology to the child of 
 the city streets. I did not mind her absorb 
 ing all the learning she could, but I resented 
 the interruption and I arose and walked 
 away, wondering how long this thing was
 
 MINEEVA STUDIES NATURE 17 
 
 going to last. I had no doubt that in another 
 week we would be giving a party in Minerva s 
 honour, and that we should take out a sub 
 scription for her in the Booklovers seemed 
 foreordained. She must learn "How to 
 Know the Trees," and "How to Become a 
 True Nature Lover in Six Lessons," and 
 "How to Listen to Birds," and particularly 
 "How to Forget the City." If I could get 
 her that book I would be willing to pay almost 
 any price for it. Also, "How to Teach a 
 Cook to Depend on Herself for Her Joys." 
 This traipsing around after us was not what 
 I had expected. 
 
 My way led out to the road that runs be 
 low the pine grove, and I had barely emerged 
 from the wood when I was hailed with a 
 "Well, well, we are in luck! Where s the 
 Missus?" and there were Harry Farnet and 
 his wife Rose, looking lost in a three seated 
 wagon drawn by two horses. 
 
 "Where did you drop from?" said I, for 
 Harry Farnet is a New Yorker who generally 
 runs over to Europe in the summer. 
 
 Why, we re at South Edgeley for a couple 
 of weeks," said he, "and the Longleys, who
 
 18 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 are staying at the Hillcrest, told us you had 
 taken a cottage here for the summer, and so 
 we thought we d chance finding you in and 
 take you back to dine and spend the evening, 
 and then ride home in the moonlight. How s 
 Ethel?" 
 
 "Ethel is middling well, but she s playing 
 nurse girl to our cook and it is wearing on 
 her just a little and on me a great deal. 
 
 "What do you mean?" asked Rose. 
 
 "Why, we brought up Minerva, you know 
 the treasure that we Ve had for three win 
 ters, and we find that she needs a city setting 
 to be a jewel of the first water. She is so 
 lonesome that we spend most of our time 
 coddling her. She s afraid of the frogs and 
 moans for the delights of Gotham." 
 
 "Poor thing! Well, she won t have to 
 bother with dinner to-night, so just give her 
 a book here, give her this box of candy. 
 It s quite dreadful, but I m sure she ll like 
 it, and it ll keep her mind off her troubles 
 for quite a while. Jump in and take us to 
 your house. Is Ethel there?" 
 
 "No, we re all just up in the woods above. 
 I ve been reading to her, with interruptions
 
 MINERVA STUDIES NATURE 19 
 
 from Minerva. Minerva and Kate Douglas 
 Wiggin do not appear to be twin souls. 
 Ethel! Ethel!" I called, and she answered, 
 and a minute later she came in view and was 
 both surprised and overjoyed to see the Far- 
 nets. Rose and she went to school together 
 and they have always kept up an intimacy. 
 
 " Hello, you dear thing! You re going rid 
 ing with us going to take dinner with us 
 we re at South Edgeley, and in the evening 
 we ll drive you back." 
 
 "Lovely!" cried Ethel, enthusiastically, 
 and I was glad that the Farnets had come. 
 Ethel needed company just as much as Mi 
 nerva. 
 
 I heard a dead limb cracking in the woods 
 above, and, looking up, saw Minerva, her 
 eyes wide open and fearful, as if she thought 
 we were going to leave her to perish in na 
 ture s solitudes. For Ethel was just step 
 ping into the carriage. 
 
 "That s Minerva," said Ethel to Rose. 
 "Our cook. You know her, don t you? Per 
 fect jewel, but it s the first time she has ever 
 been away from New York, and she is very 
 mournful.
 
 20 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 "So Philip was saying," said Rose. "I 
 tell him to give her a box of this dreadful 
 chewing candy. It s some we got at the only 
 store in South Edgeley, and if she starts a 
 piece it will keep her busy chewing for an 
 hour at least. You re not afraid to leave 
 her, are you?" 
 
 "No, I m not afraid," said Ethel; "but 
 I m afraid she will be. She s a hare for tim 
 idity. Oh, Minerva! we re going for a ride 
 and you needn t get dinner to-night. We ll 
 be back before bed time." 
 
 "Go n to leave me alone in that God-for 
 saken house 1 said Minerva, in such evident 
 terror that Ethel shook her head at Rose 
 
 
 
 and said, "I can t do it. It would be heart 
 less. You stay here and dine with us. We 
 have loads of provisions." 
 
 1 i No, Mamma will expect us. We told her 
 we were going to get you and she ll expect 
 us. Our landlady has two seats waiting for 
 you. You must come." 
 
 Here was a vexing situation. It would be 
 downright cruel to maroon Minerva, and yet 
 we didn t like to give up our anticipated 
 pleasure.
 
 MINERVA STUDIES NATURE 21 
 
 There was more noise in the woods and 
 "Miss Pussy" jumped out of a tree with a 
 chipmunk in her mouth. 
 
 "Oh, Mis. Vernon, look at Miss Pussy! 
 She s got a striped rat. I never see sich a 
 place for wild animals. I couldn no more 
 stay alone " 
 
 She paused for a phrase strong enough, 
 and Rose clapped her hands and said, 
 
 "I have it. Minerva shall be your maid 
 and ride on the back seat. This old ark was 
 the only thing we could get, but now the third 
 seat will be of some use." 
 
 Miss Pussy dropped the chipmunk at Mi 
 nerva s feet, and Minerva jumped backward 
 pretty nearly a yard. 
 
 "She s killed it, Minerva. That chipmunk 
 will never have a chance to hurt you," said 
 I in a consolatory tone. That reminded me 
 of "Miss Pussy." 
 
 "We can t take the cat along," said I to 
 Ethel. "When the cat travels I prefer to be 
 doing something else. I can still hear her 
 cries on the train." 
 
 "Well, shut her up in the house," said 
 Harry. He looked at his watch. "Come,
 
 VTVTRVA S 
 
 YOB a 
 said 
 
 *E."y tzrses I 
 
 jOnerra is geUiuft kwmaek^s/" said I to 
 
 - 
 
 . . . : _-- 
 
 . 
 
 . - " --.-.::- - 
 
 
 
 ~ If r~
 
 MDTEBTA STUDIES NAT 
 
 
 ~ > " r^ _^_ ~ "^5- _ * ^-"*"~- 1 : ~ 
 
 i-E- r.i- 
 
 d>I a>: :^^ iae ie 
 
 ai 5 
 
 . :L! ^ in 
 
 " " - .- 
 
 I J : " ~ 
 
 er the Firaexs 
 _ - " ; .--
 
 24 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 of the house, suddenly disappeared, there 
 came a shriek, and then, 
 
 "Oh, Lordy, oh Lordy, leggo my hair." 
 
 I thought of tramps, but Ethel, being a 
 woman, divined what had happened and bade 
 me light a lantern quickly. I rushed to the 
 kitchen and lighted it. The house was not 
 on fire, that was certain. Minerva was eith 
 er having a fit or an encounter with a burglar, 
 for there was a sound as of heavy footfalls 
 and choking ejaculations. 
 
 I seized the kitchen poker, expecting to 
 sell my life at a bargain, but Ethel looked 
 at me commiseratingly and with the one word 
 "Bat," she hurried up the back stairs. 
 
 I must say that at first I took the word to 
 mean that Minerva had been imbibing and I 
 wondered at Ethel s using so idiomatic an 
 expression, but when she entered the room 
 and the sounds almost immediately stopped, 
 to be followed by sobbing, I suddenly divined 
 what she meant. 
 
 "No, Minerva, it isn t poisonous." (More 
 lessons in Natural History.) "Probably 
 the poor thing was more frightened than you 
 are."
 
 MINEEVA STUDIES NATUEE 25 
 
 I did not think it at all likely. At any rate., 
 it had been far more reticent. 
 
 "I ll give you a screen from the spare 
 room to put in your window. It was at 
 tracted by the light. It s a sort of mouse 
 with wings." 
 
 Striped rats and mice with wings ! Lordy, 
 the country s awful!" 
 
 Poor Minerva! She must have been sur 
 prised to see that country horses were just 
 like those of the city. Certainly a horse has 
 more evil potentiality than a stupid little bat, 
 but when a beast has you by the hair and you 
 see him, as it were, through the back of your 
 head, he is apt to loom large and terrifying. 
 
 Quiet was soon restored and Ethel came 
 down with the lantern. I put away the poker 
 which I had been holding ever since I picked 
 it up. 
 
 "It s the greatest mercy in the world that 
 the lamp went out. She knocked it over 
 when the bat hit her." 
 
 "What next? Is the room moth miller 
 proof? Could she survive a June bug?" 
 
 "Well, really, it s nothing to laugh at. If
 
 26 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 you ever have a bat in your back hair you ll 
 not think of laughing. 
 
 As my back hair is fast going to join the 
 snows of yesteryear, I considered this a most 
 unkind cut, but I was above retaliating as 
 I could not think of anything to say. 
 
 * Well, Minerva has now been here a whole 
 day and she s hardly been out of our sight. 
 I admit that she is an excellent cook and a 
 hard worker, but as a steady visitor who, 
 rides with us and sews with us she is likely 
 to pall. Hasn t she a mother who can come 
 and visit her!" 
 
 "No," Ethel answered, Minerva is an 
 only child." 
 
 "And a child only," said I.
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 AN EAST WIND. 
 
 THE next morning broke with an east 
 wind blowing and a wet rain falling, 
 but Ethel said that the two days in the 
 country had made her feel like a different 
 woman already, so I did not mind the rain, 
 although a rainy day in the country, unless 
 one be well fortified, either by inner grace 
 or outer books and the good things of life, is 
 apt to be a dreary affair. 
 
 Breakfast was delicious. We have never 
 had a cook who had so much well, you might 
 call it temperament, as Minerva has. She 
 will toss off a roll with the lightness that 
 makes it a work of art, and her fried chicken 
 is better than the broiled chicken of most 
 cooks. 
 
 Ethel already better, and the breakfast 
 such a poem : why, I felt that I was to be en 
 vied, and I wondered how people could be 
 
 27.
 
 28 MINERVA S MANCBUVEES 
 
 content to spend their summers on alien piaz 
 zas, eating hotel dinners and watching hotel 
 dwellers dress and pose and gossip. 
 
 There had been no more bats in Minerva s 
 belfry, and as she had always seemed like a 
 sensible girl in the city, I made up my mind 
 that she was reconciled to the country and 
 that in a few days she would begin to have 
 very much the same feeling for it that we 
 have for Ethel and I were born in the city, 
 and the country is an acquired taste with us. 
 
 But while I was browsing around in the 
 Wheelocks library, Ethel came to me and 
 said: 
 
 "The worst has happened, Philip. Mi 
 nerva says she won t stay that she just 
 can t. She wants you to get a horse and 
 take her to the station right away." 
 
 I laid down my book with a sigh. What s 
 the matter now?" said I. "More wild ani 
 mals?" 
 
 "No, it s the rain and the east wind. She 
 says the moaning of it through the shutters 
 is awful and she can t stand it." 
 
 "Might have known it," said I, bitterly. 
 "I might have known it. You re beginning
 
 AN EAST WIND 29 
 
 to feel better and the worst seems to be over, 
 and then Minerva plays her trump card and 
 takes the cake." 
 
 My metaphors were sadly mixed, but I 
 didn t care. I was not at that moment trying 
 to construct logical metaphors. I foresaw 
 what would happen if Minerva left and Ethel 
 went into the kitchen permanently. A sani 
 tarium for her and I an enforced bachelor 
 in some city room for we had let our flat 
 for the summer. 
 
 I do not often interfere with the household 
 work, for my business keeps me at home 
 most of the time, and I hold that when man 
 and wife are both at home it is better to have 
 but one housekeeper and that one a woman, 
 but now I went out into the kitchen to try to 
 mend matters, and I found Minerva looking 
 at the steadily falling rain that was making 
 Mount Nebo look like a ghost of itself. Now 
 and again the blind rattled and always the 
 wind moaned through it with a wintry effect 
 that would have been admirably adapted to 
 the return of the prodigal daughter. 
 
 And with each wail of the wind Minerva
 
 30 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 answered antiphonally, almost as if she were 
 taking lessons in keening. 
 
 "Oh, myomy, myomy!" 
 
 Back and forth she rocked, her eyes glued 
 to the dismal prospect (dismal to her, but 
 with a surpassing beauty to sympathetic 
 eyes), and the tears rolling down her face. 
 
 "Why, Minerva, what s the matter? Got 
 a toothache?" said I, affecting to be unwit 
 ting of the cause of her sorrow. 
 
 " Deed, suh, it s wuss n a toothache. It s 
 the heartache. I knowed better when I said 
 I d come. Nance Jawnson told me how haw - 
 ble the country was, but I felt sorry for Mis. 
 Vernon, and so I come. Please get me away 
 in a wagon. That wind whines like it was a 
 dawg howlin an I can t stand dawgs howl- 
 in cause my sisteh died of one." 
 
 Her words were ambiguous, but I was in 
 no mood to carp or criticise. She was suf 
 fering as acutely as a little child suffers 
 when you throw her doll over the fence and 
 I felt I must cheer her up and keep her if it 
 if it took all summer. 
 
 "Well, Minerva, we can soon stop the 
 wind s howling by opening the blinds." I
 
 AN EAST WIND 31 
 
 suited the action to the words and the wild 
 moaning of the wind ceased. It was really 
 almost as if the wind had been asking to have 
 the blinds opened. 
 
 "Now you see, Minerva, that s stopped 
 and the rain will stop after awhile." 
 
 "Yas r, but it s lonesome an I didn t 
 bring my cordeen. I forgot it till now." 
 
 I knew she was a great hand to be trying 
 patent medicines and supposed she referred 
 to some bottled stuff, so I said, 
 
 Oh, well, if that s all, I can send for your 
 medicine, or perhaps I can get some at Eger- 
 ton." 
 
 She looked at me in surprise as she said, 
 
 "I didn say nothin bout med cine. I 
 said I left my cordeen " 
 
 "Oh, your accordeon. Can you play 
 that?" said I, thankful that she had forgot 
 ten it. 
 
 "Yes indeedy." 
 
 Her face grew pensive as she thought of 
 the dreadful musical instrument which she 
 had mercifully forgotten. I had never heard 
 her use it at home, but Ethel told me after 
 ward that she had been in the habit of going
 
 32 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 up on the roof with, other cooks and the jani 
 tor, and that her departure was always fol 
 lowed by weird strains which Ethel had sup 
 posed was the janitor discoursing music that 
 had the dyingest fall of anything ever heard. 
 But it seems that Minerva was the performer, 
 and among those whose ears are ravished by 
 the "linked sweetness long drawn out" and 
 then pushed back again, she was accounted 
 an adept. 
 
 Perhaps I could hold her by means of the 
 accordeon. It was worth trying. 
 
 "Minerva," said I, "Mrs. Vernon tells me 
 that you want me to drive you down to the 
 station and get you a ticket for New York. 
 Now, if you go it will be a discreditable per 
 formance and an act unworthy of one who 
 has always been well treated. 
 
 I paused. The words were some of them 
 a little beyond her, but they had made the 
 more impression for that very fact. 
 
 "Mrs. Vernon is not strong enough to do 
 the work and she came up here to gain 
 strength. You are a very good cook, but if 
 you left us now we would not care to have 
 you when we returned to the city, and you
 
 AN EAST WIND 33 
 
 will not find mistresses like Mrs. Vernon 
 everywhere. There are those who forget 
 that a servant is a human being, and you 
 might happen to get such a mistress as that. 
 I repeat that your going would be distinctly 
 discreditable, utterly reprehensible and in 
 the nature of a bad act. Now, if you must 
 go, I am not the one to keep you, but if you 
 go you go for good, which is not likely to be 
 good for you." 
 
 "Yas r," said Minerva, blinking at me. 
 
 "Now, if I send for your accordeon, will 
 you give me your word of honour to stay 
 your month out?" 
 
 I had used such a severe tone, mingled 
 with what sorrow I could weave into it, and 
 spotted with incomprehensible words, that 
 Minerva was much impressed, and she said 
 in a tone that was already more hopeful, "I 
 give you my word, Mist. Vernon. My cor- 
 deen is like human folks to me." 
 
 "Very well, I will write for it by the next 
 mail. Where shall I tell Mr. Corson to look 
 for it?" 
 
 "Mr. Corson ain t got it. I lent it to the 
 jan ter the night befo I lef an he fo got to
 
 34 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 give it back an I fo got about it till the wind 
 began to moan at me an then I got mo home 
 sick an ever an thought of it." 
 
 Think of being willing to swap the music 
 of the wind for the cacophony of an accor- 
 deon ! And yet, when some composer of the 
 future introduces one in his Afro-American 
 symphony and Felix Weingartner gives the 
 symphony in Carnegie Hall, there may come 
 a rage for accordeons and we shall no longer 
 associate them with tenement houses and 
 itinerant toughs, white and black. 
 
 I hastened to write the letter to the janitor, 
 whose name was George W. Calhoun Lee, 
 and Ethel, being housebound anyway, went 
 into the kitchen to preserve some blueberries. 
 I do not like preserved blueberries; neither 
 does she, but there was nothing else she could 
 think of to do in the kitchen, and Minerva 
 needed * human folks pending the arrival of 
 the cordeen. 
 
 The Dalton boy came for the mail at noon 
 and he had with him a string of trout. They 
 were fresh from the brook and were still 
 wriggling. I saw him pass into the house, 
 and I followed him into the kitchen; for a
 
 AN EAST WIND 35 
 
 string of trout is a joy to the eye and I had 
 a suspicion that Minerva would not know 
 what to do with them. 
 
 She stared at them with the interest of a 
 child, giggling every time one twitched its 
 tail 
 
 "Wha makes em move that way?" asked 
 she of no one in particular. 
 
 Why, they re not dead yet," I answered. 
 
 "An come all the way from New York?" 
 
 "Why, Minerva, these were caught in the 
 brook down there in the valley. Weren t 
 they, Bert?" 
 
 "Yes, sir. Ketched all five inside an 
 hour." 
 
 Minerva s eyes opened wider. "What s a 
 nower?" asked she. 
 
 Bert looked puzzled and so did Ethel, but 
 I was able to explain and somehow the ex 
 planation struck Minerva as being very fun 
 ny. She went off into a fit of laughter just 
 like those she had had on the train when the 
 cat howled. 
 
 "Inside a nower. That s one awn me. 
 Inside an hour." 
 
 Ordinarily one does not go into the kitchen
 
 36 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 and provide amusement for the cook, but the 
 events of the past few hours had so altered 
 the complexion of things that I felt distinctly 
 elated at having, in however humble a way, 
 ministered to the joy of one as leaden heart 
 ed as Minerva and her laughter was so unc- 
 tious, once it had got fairly started that first 
 the Dalton boy, then Ethel, and at last I 
 joined in and the east wind must have been 
 astonished at his lack of power over our 
 temperaments. 
 
 After the laughter had subsided and Bert 
 had gone on his way with the precious letter 
 to G. W. C. Lee, I was about to leave the 
 kitchen, forgetful of my errand, when Mi 
 nerva, in a tone of delightful camaraderie, 
 said, 
 
 "Mist. Vernon, I can t skin them fishes 
 alive. They always come skinned from the 
 fish store." 
 
 "Well, I ll kill them and scale them and 
 clean them, and you can watch me, and the 
 next time you ll know how." 
 
 Ethel had finished her berry canning and 
 she now left the kitchen, winking at me as 
 she did so as much as to say it was now my
 
 AN EAST WIND 37 
 
 turn at the wheel. It was years since I had 
 dressed a fish, but I snapped each one on the 
 head as I had been taught to do by country 
 boys in my own boyhood, and then I prepared 
 them for the pan, scraping off much of their 
 beauty in the process. 
 
 "Do they have North River shad out in 
 that brook?" asked Minerva as I worked. 
 
 I thought at first it was a little pleasantry, 
 but, looking at her, I saw she was perfectly 
 serious in fact, very serious, and I ex 
 plained to her that cod and blue fish and stur 
 geon and sword fish never penetrated to these 
 mountain brooks, preferring the sea ; and so, 
 with cheerful chat on both our parts, we 
 bridged over the end of the morning and a 
 half a day was gone with Minerva in a better 
 frame of mind than she had been the day be 
 fore with the sun shining. So valuable a 
 thing is diplomacy. 
 
 While I was washing my hands, prepara 
 tory to lunch, Ethel being engaged in fixing 
 her hair, I heard Minerva break out into 
 song, and a moment later someone began to 
 whistle in the kitchen. 
 
 Our window commanded a view of the side
 
 38 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 path, and no one had entered the kitchen 
 since I had left it, but nevertheless two peo 
 ple were giving a somewhat unpleasant duet 
 in the kitchen. The whistle did not accord 
 with the voice, which had considerable of the 
 natural coloured flavour if flavour can have 
 colour. 
 
 "Who can it be?" said I. "Minerva 
 doesn t know a soul up here, and no one up 
 here would be apt to know In the Good Old 
 Summer Time. 
 
 "It s positively uncanny," said Ethel, tak 
 ing the last hair pin out of her mouth and 
 putting it into her hair. "I m going to see. 
 I want Minerva to make chocolate for lunch, 
 and I forgot to tell her." 
 
 Ethel went down and I hastily dried my 
 hands and followed. If this fellow musician 
 could be caged I would keep him for Miner 
 va s delectation. He" should hang in the 
 kitchen so to speak. Minerva was evident 
 ly enjoying the duet even more than we 
 were. 
 
 I hurried and came within sight of the 
 kitchen just as Ethel entered it. Ethel 
 turned and came quickly toward me, her
 
 AN EAST WIND 39 
 
 hand over her mouth to pen up her mirth. 
 
 We both rushed up stairs and sat down 
 and had our second laugh of the morning in 
 spite of the east wind. There was only one 
 person in the kitchen, Minerva by name, and 
 she was providing an obligato for her singing 
 with her own lips. Minerva was performing 
 the hitherto impossible feat of singing and 
 whistling at the same time. 
 
 "When the cordeen comes," said Ethel, 
 "Minerva will be a trio."
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 A FRIENDLY BURGLAR. 
 
 WE retired that night feeling that our 
 hold on Minerva was stronger than 
 it had been hitherto, and we slept 
 the sleep of the unworried. 
 
 But we were awakened at a little past mid 
 night by a noise as of a somewhat heavy cat 
 coming up stairs. Miss Pussy is heavy, but 
 her tread is absolutely noiseless, so it could 
 not be she, and we could hear Minerva snor 
 ing in her room, so it was not she. 
 
 "It s a burglar," whispered Ethel, wide 
 awake in an instant. 
 
 I did not like the thought, which waked me 
 wide also. I like burglars in books, but in 
 real life there are too many possibilities 
 wrapped up in them to make them agreeable 
 companions of the night. 
 
 I hope I am not a coward, but I am not war 
 like. If a burglar has resolved on entering 
 
 40
 
 A FEIENDLY BUEGLAE 41 
 
 my house I say let him get away with the 
 goods and then I ll lose no time in putting 
 in burglar alarms so as to be prepared there 
 after, but to get up and attack a burglar with 
 a chair or to attempt to expostulate with him 
 lies outside of my province, and I hoped that 
 these sounds would prove to be caused by 
 shrinking wood or cracking plaster. 
 
 Creak, creak, creak. There was not a 
 shadow of a doubt that some one was coming 
 up the stairs. Ethel pulled the pillow over 
 her face and I could feel her trembling. I 
 sat up in bed and tried to feel brave. Tried 
 it two or three times in obedience to the old 
 saying anent succeeding but to be honest I 
 did not feel brave. 
 
 The steps came nearer and Ethel, whose 
 hearing is wonderfully acute, suddenly threw 
 off the pillow, and sat up in bed also, saying : 
 
 Philip, we must not let Minerva hear him 
 or she will leave in the morning. 
 
 "Sh!" said I, "be still. There he is." 
 We both put on the semblance of slumber. 
 
 The moon was shining into the room and 
 we now saw a burly looking fellow with a bag
 
 42 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 over his shoulder walk past our door and 
 peer into the spare room. 
 
 The Wheelock furnishings are plain and 
 our own belongings would pack in small space 
 and bring little in open market and it struck 
 both Ethel and myself in spite of our fears 
 that it was very funny for a burglar to be 
 looking for plunder in our cottage. 
 
 I fancy that he himself saw he had picked 
 out a poor house, for he left the spare room, 
 contented himself with a casual glance into 
 our sparsely furnished bedroom and then 
 went creaking down the stairs again. Bur 
 glars in books make no noise, but I am sure 
 I could have gone down stairs more quietly 
 than he did and I was in an agony of fear 
 no longer of him but that Minerva might 
 wake up and become panic stricken. 
 
 The burglar went as far as the kitchen and 
 then he actually stumbled over a chair and 
 this brought about the dreaded result. 
 Minerva waked up and the next instant we 
 heard a husky, 
 
 "Is that you, Mis. Vernon!" 
 
 Next we heard steps in her hall and the 
 query repeated in a louder tone,
 
 A FRIENDLY BURGLAR 43 
 
 "Is that you, Mis. Vernon?" 
 
 Then came a shriek. She had evidently 
 encountered the burglar 
 
 "Oh, Philip, what shall we do?" said Ethel. 
 "Don t you think it will be safe to go and 
 tell the burglar to go away? Minerva will 
 surely go into hysterics and leave in the 
 morning." 
 
 She s gone there now. Hear her ! 
 
 The noise occasioned by the advent of the 
 bat was as nothing compared to the din that 
 Minerva let out upon the midnight air. 
 
 And now we heard a man s voice, the voice 
 of the burglar. 
 
 "Be quiet. I m not going to hurt you. I 
 made a mistake in the house." 
 
 Made a mistake in the house and the next 
 one half a mile away! 
 
 * Philip, if he were a dangerous burglar he 
 would have shot her by this. Go and speak 
 to him and tell him to go away." 
 
 It was a risky proceeding, but after all we 
 had gone through I was determined to keep 
 Minerva with us at any risk, so pulling a 
 dressing gown over my pajamas and leaping
 
 44 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 into my slippers, I went down stairs choking 
 down my rising heart. 
 
 I met the burglar coming down the back 
 stairs with his hands in his ears to shut out 
 the shrieks that arose from Minerva. 
 
 When he saw me he sat down on the stairs 
 and said, "I thought so. I thought she d 
 waken the house." 
 
 Now this was a queer way for a burglar to 
 act and it gave me heart. By all the rules 
 
 of burglary the man should either have given 
 me one in the jaw or a bit of lead in the lung 
 or else he should have rushed past me and 
 escaped, but he sat down on the top step and 
 reminded me of Francis Wilson by the 
 quaintness, of his intonation and the expres 
 sion that came over his face. 
 
 "Come here. I won t hurt you," said I, 
 much as I might talk to a huge mastiff whose 
 intentions were problematical. "Are you a 
 family man?" 
 
 * * Yes, said he, astonished by the question 
 into answering it. 
 
 "Well, then, you will understand my po 
 sition when I tell you that the girl whom 
 you have started into hysterics up there is
 
 A FRIENDLY BURGLAR 45 
 
 our cook, our only cook, and if we lose her 
 we ll be absolutely cookless. You re a bur 
 glar, are you not? Be frank." 
 
 Well, if you appeal to me that way, I 
 am," said he. 
 
 * Well, she s frightened stiff. Even if you 
 go away now and nothing further happens 
 she will follow in the morning because she 
 will expect burglars every night. Now I m 
 going to try to convince her that you stopped 
 in here to ask the way to the village or to 
 borrow a book anything but that you re a 
 burglar, and I want you to help me out. 
 
 "The idea is farcical," said he smiling 
 quite as if we were having a friendly chat 
 after a dinner in his honour. 
 
 "No doubt it is farcical," said I, "but if 
 I can overcome Minerva s fears by any means 
 I m going to do it. She ll go into a fit pretty 
 soon if the cause is not removed." 
 
 "She s most there now," said the burglar. 
 And he told the truth. Minerva had not 
 ceased to use each breath in the manufacture 
 of wild yawps that outdid her performances 
 the evening of the bat. 
 
 "I ll go and tell her to dress and come
 
 46 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 down and I ll explain it all to her. We have 
 to handle her with gloves on account of cooks 
 being so scarce. You understand?" 
 
 "I understand. I have a little home in 
 Pittsfield and half the time my wife does the 
 cooking although business is unusually 
 good. 
 
 "What is your busin ?" 
 
 I noticed his bag and stopped. How ab 
 sent minded of me to ask. 
 
 "I don t believe it is always as bad as it is 
 to-night," said I with a laugh. "My income 
 doesn t admit of anything for burglars. I 
 only make enough for myself and my wife. 
 
 "I believe you," said he. "I saw that 
 when I got up stairs and if I had not kicked 
 over that cursed chair I would have been a 
 mile away by now. 
 
 I started to call up stairs to Minerva when 
 the burglar s eyes moved to a point behind 
 me and turning, I saw Ethel, fully dressed 
 and very calm. Her fear of losing Minerva 
 had overcome her fear of the burglar and she 
 had come down to see what she could do. 
 
 "Ethel, this is the burglar who woke us 
 up, but he has taken nothing, and he s going
 
 A FRIENDLY BURGLAR 47 
 
 to fib a little so that Minerva may be brought 
 out of her hysterical state. Please go up 
 stairs and tell her to dress and come down;, 
 that there s no danger, but I want to see her 
 about something." 
 
 With excitement and amusement struggling 
 for the mastery on her features Ethel went 
 up stairs and in a few moments the shrieks 
 subsided. 
 
 * What induced you to come to such a place 
 as this, so far off the line of travel 1 
 
 "Exactly that," said the burglar, "because 
 it was off the line of travel and because I 
 have made some of my richest hauls in houses 
 like this." 
 
 "Aren t you ashamed to be a burglar?" 
 said I, thinking that I might do some mis 
 sionary work. 
 
 "Now see here," said he, rising from the 
 chair in which he had seated himself after 
 Ethel had gone up stairs, "I did not come 
 here to be catechised or criticised. I came 
 here to do business and I found it was im 
 possible, so let us forget that I am a burglar 
 and that you are a poor man and bend all 
 our energies to retaining the services of your
 
 48 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 cook. As a fellow American I feel for you 
 and I d hate to see the Madame forced to 
 do her own cooking through any fault of 
 mine. By the way, how s the larder 1 
 
 "The who?" 
 
 "The larder. What have you to eat?" 
 
 "Oh, I misunderstood you. I guess I can 
 find something to eat. Are you fond of blue 
 berries not whortleberries, you understand, 
 but blueberries." 
 
 "All the same, ain t they?" 
 
 "Not by a long shot. You re evidently a 
 city man. A blueberry is to a whortleberry 
 what a wild cherry is to an oxheart. We 
 have plenty of blueberries and some milk and 
 I dare say Minerva can boil you some eggs 
 if you care for them. 
 
 "No, I don t want to bother you or her. 
 Cooks object to getting extra meals." 
 
 I had not thought of that and I deemed it 
 considerate in the burglar. 
 
 I led the way to the pantry, where I found 
 a pitcher of rich milk and a pan of berries 
 and when Mrs. Vernon and Minerva came 
 down stairs, the burglar and I sat at the
 
 A FRIENDLY BUEGLAE 49 
 
 dinner table, eating berries like the best of 
 friends. 
 
 "Frightened, Minerva?" asked I with a 
 reassuring smile. 
 
 "Yas r," was the monosyllabic and there 
 fore reassuring reply. 
 
 "I m sorry if I disturbed you, Minerva," 
 said the burglar with an assumption of 
 breeziness that sat very well on him. 
 
 Minerva smiled foolishly. She was 
 abashed. 
 
 "I missed my way, Tom," said he, turning 
 to me, and it s a wonder I got here at all. 
 
 Will you please explain why you call me 
 Tom," said I, giving him a cue, "when my 
 name is Philip Vernon. 
 
 "Simply because I ve been spending a 
 week with Tom," said he, "and he is very 
 well indeed." 
 
 "Hasn t he had any return of those 
 spells?" asked I with mock concern. 
 
 "No, Phil, Tom seems to be on the high 
 road to recovery, now. His wife has a Dane 
 for a cook and she makes the best omelets 
 I ever ate. Can you make good omelets?" 
 said he, turning to Minerva, whose eyes were
 
 50 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 riveted on this easy mannered friend who 
 had reached our house so late. 
 
 "Yas r." 
 
 "Pardon my suggesting it, Mrs. Vernon," 
 said he, turning to my wife, "but would it be 
 asking too much " 
 
 "Why, I m sure Minerva would be de 
 lighted to cook you an omelet. She knows 
 what it is to be hungry. Don t you 
 Minerva?" 
 
 "Yas m," said she, going into the kitchen 
 and setting a match to the fire which was laid 
 in preparation for the morning. 
 
 "She looks like a good natured girl one 
 who would stick to you through thick and 
 thin," said the burglar in a tone that would 
 easily reach Minerva s ears. 
 
 "Minerva s a very good girl," said Ethel, 
 sitting down in the chair I had drawn up 
 to the table. 
 
 We talked on various topics, much as if we 
 had known each other for years, but this 
 was due more to the burglar s absolute ease 
 of manner than to any self command on our 
 parts. When Minerva came in with a smok 
 ing, hot omelet he said,
 
 51 
 
 Handsomest omelet I ever saw. If it 
 tastes like that I ll eat every bit myself. 
 You re a born cook, Minerva." 
 
 Minerva grinned and went into the pantry 
 whence she emerged with bread and butter. 
 
 As for the burglar he kept up a running 
 fire of talk about supposed friends of ours. 
 
 " Bather sad, that accident to Tom s 
 nephew, wasn t it?" said he. 
 
 "I hadn t heard of it," said Ethel, while I 
 admitted a like ignorance. 
 
 "Is that so? Tom is no letter writer. 
 Why little Sanderson fell down an elevator 
 shaft and ripped all the buttons off his 
 shoes." 
 
 He said this so seriously that it was all 
 Ethel could do to keep a straight face. 
 
 "And Mary has finally decided to accept 
 Jim Larkins. Seventeen times she had re 
 jected him. Do you think they ll be happy?" 
 
 "I hope they will," said I, and then to 
 make conversation I said, 
 
 "What s become of Ed. Cortelyou?" 
 
 "I m sorry to say," said the burglar, with 
 a long face, " that Ed. s gone to the bad. 
 It doesn t pay to trust a young man with
 
 52 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 unlimited money. If I ever succeed in 
 amassing a fortune not that I feel espe 
 cially encouraged just now but if I ever do, 
 I will tie it up so that Charley can not play 
 ducks and drakes with it." 
 
 "By the way, do you expect Charley to 
 follow your profession?" said Ethel wickedly 
 and unexpectedly. 
 
 The burglar helped himself to the rest 
 of the omelet with a roguish grin and said, 
 
 "I wouldn t be at all surprised. Kate is 
 all for having him study for the ministry, 
 but I ve seen enough misery endured by 
 young ministers whose hearts were not in 
 their work and who were perhaps tortured 
 by this modern spirit of doubt, and I tell 
 her that the profession that was good enough 
 for his father is good enough for him. 
 
 There seemed to be something fascinating 
 in the clear-cut tones of the burglar s voice 
 for Minerva stood in the kitchen listening 
 intently to every word. 
 
 "I hope you will enjoin on him the neces 
 sity of being honest," said Ethel with evi 
 dent enjoyment. 
 
 "Example is better than precept, Mrs.
 
 A FRIENDLY BURGLAR 53 
 
 Vernon," said he, looking her straight in the 
 eyes. "I m not much of a preacher myself. 
 I sometimes say to him, Do as you see me 
 do, my boy, but try to do it better. I do hope 
 to enable him to make an easy entry into 
 the homes of really good people. I tell him 
 that it s not always the richest who are the 
 most valuable. He may be able to pick up 
 something from a man who is comparatively 
 poor, but who has good taste, and I tell him 
 always to keep his eyes and ears open when 
 he is in the houses of others, because there 
 is no telling how profitable a good use of eyes, 
 and ears may be. The boy has quite a taste 
 for rare china. He s managed to get hold of 
 some handsome pieces." 
 
 "Do you allow him much spending 
 money?" asked I with a deprecating smile. 
 
 "No, I don t give him any stated sum, but 
 he has his own ways of adding to his income. 
 I believe in making a boy self reliant. He 
 wasn t over six when I gave him a little 
 boost up the ladder as a starter, and told 
 him to remember to rise superior to circum 
 stances, and he made quite a comfortable 
 nest egg. Went into the hen business. Se-
 
 lected his own hens and sold them at a profit. 
 A boy that learns to be self reliant is years 
 ahead of a boy who is pampered. Minerva, 
 that was the best omelet I ever ate. I wish 
 I could stay here and eat one of your break 
 fasts, but, Philip, if I expect to get to the 
 McLeod s to-night, I ll have to be going righit 
 along. You see I expected to get here in time 
 to dine with you, and leave about eleven, but 
 I lost my way, and I know the Major will be 
 expecting me and he won t go to bed until 
 I come. I m awfully sorry to go." 
 
 As he rose from the table I noticed the 
 bag containing his plunder. Unless Minerva 
 was an absolute innocent she would suspect 
 that all was not right when he picked it up, 
 but luckily at that moment she went out to 
 the pantry to put away the milk, or some 
 thing, and during her absence he picked it 
 up with great nonchalance and walked out 
 of the room, bowing to Ethel, who made a 
 little gesture of repugnance when the real 
 nature of his work was brought home to her 
 in so concrete a manner. 
 
 I followed him out to the front door, where
 
 A FRIENDLY BURGLAR 55 
 
 he deposited the bag on the step and said 
 very suggestively, 
 
 "I believe I ll give Minerva a tip if you 
 have no objection. She deserves it." 
 
 Why, I have no objection," said I, "but 
 it isn t necessary." 
 
 "Pardon me if I differ," said he, good 
 naturedly, holding out his hand. 
 
 And then I understood that I was being 
 held up. 
 
 "How much do you want to give her," 
 said I, wishing now that he was far away. 
 
 But his demand was very reasonable 
 comparatively speaking, for he said, 
 
 "I think that five dollars and a quarter 
 would be a fair amount for me to give. She 
 may not get every cent, but I ve talked a 
 good deal to-night and the laborer is worthy 
 of his hire. You re a decent sort of fellow, 
 or I might increase the amount." 
 
 "You ll have to come up stairs for it," 
 said I, "I never carry much in my pajamas." 
 
 He followed me up stairs, his eyes roving 
 all over the place. 
 
 1 There must be a lot of high thinking done
 
 56 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 in this establishment," said he, as he looked 
 at the sparsely decorated walls. 
 
 "It was a high old thought to get you to 
 pose as my friend. If Minerva stays with 
 us I ll think of you, and I wish that you 
 might be induced to " 
 
 "Don t, that s cant. You may think you 
 mean it, but you don t. If you read in to 
 morrow s paper that I had been arrested, 
 you wouldn t drop one tear. You live your 
 life, and I ll live mine. If you ever have a 
 chance to do a man a good turn, go ahead 
 and do it, but I won t lie awake nights won 
 dering whether you ve done it or not." 
 
 "No, I suppose you re not given to lying 
 awake nights, but you may lie awake days 
 and ponder on a good many things." 
 
 "Don t you believe it, my Christian 
 friend," said the burglar as we walked back 
 to the kitchen, "I sleep the sleep of the just, 
 and the reason I m just, is because I never 
 rob a man that I know to be poor." 
 
 We had now come down stairs again, and 
 he went out into the kitchen, and I heard him 
 say to Minerva, 
 
 "Minerva, here s some silver to add to
 
 A FRIENDLY BURGLAR 57 
 
 your collection. And don t ever make the 
 mistake of leaving the Vernons. They are 
 the salt of the earth. They may not be rich, 
 but I am sure they re kind, and if you know 
 when you re well off you ll stay with them. 
 I ve known Mr. Vernon ever since he was 
 a boy, and if I was looking for a position like 
 yours I d try to get one with him. And Mrs. 
 Vernon is just as good. You stay by them 
 and they ll stay by you." 
 
 " Deed I will," said Minerva with the unc 
 tion of one who has felt a revival of religious 
 feeling at a camp meeting. The burglar had 
 actually aroused in her a sense of loyalty. 
 
 I was sorry to see him go. I ve known 
 many an honest man who wasn t half as in 
 teresting, and I ve known many an interest 
 ing man who was not much more honest, 
 although I never had any words with a 
 confessed burglar before. I actually found 
 myself saying "Good luck to you," as he 
 shouldered his bag and went off down the 
 tree-bordered road in the silver moonlight.
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE CONSTABLE CALLS. 
 
 NEXT morning we slept late, but when 
 Mrs. Vernon and I finally awoke we 
 heard no sounds in the kitchen. 
 
 "I have a headache," said Ethel. "That 
 midnight supper didn t agree with me." 
 
 "Why you didn t eat anything." 
 
 "No, but I can t sit up late and feel good 
 for anything in the morning. I suppose Mi 
 nerva feels the same as I do." 
 
 "Yes, but as she is paid to forget her feel 
 ings, I suppose she ll get up and get break 
 fast." 
 
 "Do you mind calling her?" asked Ethel, 
 and again donning my dressing gown I went 
 to the foot of the stairs and called, 
 
 "Minerva! Minerva, it s half past eight 
 o clock." 
 
 No answer. 
 
 58
 
 THE CONSTABLE CALLS 59 
 
 I went up stairs and stood outside her 
 door. 
 
 "Minerva, it s time to get up. I know 
 you must be sleepy, but it s half past eight." 
 
 "Mist. Vernon," came a languid re 
 sponse, "I don feel like I could cook this 
 morning, I m so tired." 
 
 What was this? Was it insubordination? 
 Perhaps it was, but I did not mean to recog 
 nise it as such. Who had prepared the mid 
 night supper without a word? Minerva. 
 Was I one to forget benefits conferred? No. 
 Did I want to keep Minerva at all hazards? 
 Yes. Was it wise to let Ethel know of the 
 state of affairs ? No. 
 
 Therefore I came softly down the stairs 
 and going out into the kitchen, I built a fire 
 and then went to work as dexterously as I 
 could to cook things for breakfast. I poured 
 a cup of cold water on three cups of oatmeal 
 flakes and set them to boil, and while I waited 
 for the water to attend to business I got a 
 book and read. Really, this cooking is no 
 such hardship as I had supposed, thought I. 
 I was not as quick as Minerva, for I was an 
 hour getting the oatmeal to a point where it
 
 60 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 looked palatable, and I made some mistake 
 of proportions in making the coffee, but I 
 sliced the bread very well, indeed, and I 
 set the table without nicking a plate, and at 
 last I put a half dozen eggs into the water in 
 the double boiler and went up stairs to an 
 nounce breakfast. Ethel had fallen asleep. 
 I woke her and told her that I believed break 
 fast was ready. Then I went down to my 
 book again. 
 
 Ethel can hurry upon occasion, and she 
 was no time in coming down. But quick as 
 she was, I was quicker, for I had the eggs on 
 the table before she appeared, and when she 
 came into the room we sat down together 
 with never a suspicion on her part that Mi 
 nerva had not prepared the breakfast. I 
 felt the way I used to feel when I was a boy 
 and used to do something a little beyond my 
 supposed powers. My bosom swelled with 
 pride as I reflected that every bit of the 
 breakfast had been prepared by me. 
 
 Ethel uncovered the oatmeal dish and then 
 she said, rather irrelevantly, I thought, 
 
 "What s the matter with Minerva?"
 
 THE CONSTABLE CALLS 61 
 
 "Nothing, dear," said I, reaching out my 
 hand for my portion. 
 
 Her only answer was to ring the bell. 
 
 " Er I believe Minerva is upstairs," 
 said I. 
 
 "What has she been doing to the oat- 
 meal?" said Ethel, poking at it with her 
 spoon, but not attempting to taste the stiff- 
 looking mass. 
 
 "Fact is, Ethel," said I, "Minerva is a 
 little upset by last night s disturbance, and 
 I cooked the breakfast." 
 
 "You mean you didn t cook it," said 
 Ethel, with just a touch of sarcasm. 
 
 "Well, what I didn t do, I didn t do for 
 you. I thought you d had enough of the 
 kitchen, and if you disguise this with sugar 
 and cream it will be all right." 
 
 But this was an exaggeration. We could 
 not pretend to eat the gluey mass, so I said, 
 
 "Well, anyhow, there are nice fresh eggs. 
 It doesn t take a great deal of skill to boil 
 them." 
 
 "Did you use the three-minute glass," said 
 Ethel, as she helped me to two eggs and then 
 took two herself.
 
 62 MINEBVA S MANCEUVBES 
 
 I told her that I didn t know what she 
 meant; that I used no glass at all, but had 
 boiled them in the under part of the oatmeal 
 boiler, as I had noticed Minerva do. 
 
 "Yes, but how long?" asked Ethel, as she 
 took up her knife and chipped the shell of 
 one. 
 
 "About an hour and a half," said she, an 
 swering her own question. "You meant well, 
 Philip, but you didn t know. These are as 
 hard as a rock and not yet cold. I hope the 
 coffee is better." 
 
 Ethel is not usually so fault finding, but 
 I laid it to her broken sleep, and said, 
 
 "The bread is cut pretty well. And the 
 butter is just as good as if Minerva had put 
 it on the table herself. 
 
 "Yes, the bread and butter are quite a 
 success, Phil, but this coffee " 
 
 "Mild?" said I, taking my cue from the 
 color of it as she poured. 
 
 "I should say so. It looks like a substi 
 tute for coffee." 
 
 "Then I guess I don t care for any," said 
 I. "But anyhow, you didn t have to do any
 
 THE CONSTABLE CALLS 63 
 
 of the preparing, and we ll leave it for Mi 
 nerva to wash the dishes." 
 
 I helped myself to milk and managed to 
 eat an egg, but they are not very good when 
 hot and hard, unless they are sliced and re 
 posing on a bed of spinach, 
 
 I began to feel a little hot myself that 
 Minerva should have led me to this success 
 ful exposure of incompetence, and leaving 
 the table I went up stairs and called out 
 somewhat angrily, 
 
 Minerva, we re all through breakfast and 
 you ll have to come right down and prepare 
 lunch, as nothing, has been fit to eat." 
 
 A snore was the only response that she 
 gave, and I was glad she had not heard me. 
 One cannot afford to be peremptory if one 
 has but one string to one s bow. I came 
 down stairs again. 
 
 Ethel was in the kitchen frying some eggs 
 and preparing some more coffee. 
 
 "Is she coming down?" asked she. 
 
 "Er no she s tired. But Ethel, I can t 
 have you getting breakfast. I ve already 
 got one, and although it wasn t a success, 
 we d better make it do. You look tired out
 
 64 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 after the excitement of last night. Let s eat 
 some berries and drink a glass of milk and 
 wait for lunch. Wasn t that burglar funny 
 last night?" 
 
 "Philip, are you going to let Minerva stay 
 in bed all day?" said Ethel. 
 I sat down on the kitchen table and said, 
 "Ethel, would you like to be waked up in 
 the middle of the night and forced to pre 
 pare an extra meal? Minerva is a human 
 being and she is tired. You re a human be 
 ing and you re tired. Let us let Minerva 
 spend this one day in bed taking the rest 
 cure, and after we ve eaten this second 
 breakfast, which smells pretty good, we ll 
 spend the day out doors." 
 "But Minerva is insubordinate." 
 "Very well, let us call it that. Suppose 
 we suppress her insubordination and she 
 works for us all day and takes the evening 
 train for New York, will the thought that we 
 have suppressed insubordination in a cook 
 get us a new servant? Insubordination in 
 the city, where there are whole intelligence 
 offices filled with girls looking for new places, 
 is a thing that I can t and won t stand; but
 
 THE CONSTABLE CALLS 65 
 
 insubordination, with Mamie Logan sick with 
 scarlet fever and no other girl in the world 
 that I know of, is a thing to be coddled, as 
 you might say. Call it weariness caused by 
 over-service and it immediately becomes a 
 thing that we can pardon. Do you want to 
 pack up and go back to New York?" 
 
 Ethel assured me that she did not. 
 
 "Well, then, don t let us talk any more 
 about insubordination. We ll eat what you 
 set before us, asking no questions, and then 
 we ll go out for a long walk." 
 
 We went out for a long walk, and both of 
 us succeeded by sheer will power in forget 
 ting that Minerva existed. We made believe 
 that we could live on the delicious air that 
 blew so gently at us, and for two or three 
 hours we wandered or sat still, or Ethel 
 sketched and we were thoroughly happy. 
 
 It was about noon when we returned to 
 the house. We heard loud voices and stopped 
 to listen. 
 
 "I tell you he was a frien of Mist. Ver- 
 non s," we heard Minerva say. 
 
 "Well, then, Mr. Vernon has a thief for 
 a friend."
 
 66 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 We exchanged meaning glances. Our 
 friend of the night before had evidently been 
 traced as far as our house. There was noth 
 ing to do but to go forward and accept the 
 inevitable. 
 
 I went into the kitchen, followed by Ethel. 
 A large, determined looking man was sitting 
 on a chair in the middle of the floor ; by his 
 side stood a strapping mulatto, and Minerva, 
 stopped midway in her dishwashing and with 
 something of sleepiness still in her eyes, was 
 standing by the stove. 
 
 " How are you?" This from me. 
 
 "Good morning. My name is Collins, and 
 I m a constable. The Fayerweather s house 
 was robbed last night and the thief got away 
 with the goods." 
 
 I assumed a look of great unconcern, but 
 I felt that Minerva was devouring me with 
 her eyes. 
 
 "That s bad," said I. 
 
 "Yes, it s bad, but it might be worse. I 
 find that he came as far as here, and your 
 girl says that you entertained him with a 
 midnight supper. Where is he now; 
 hiding?"
 
 THE CONSTABLE CALLS 67 
 
 His tone was insolent, and my tone was 
 correspondingly dignified. 
 
 "Why, I haven t the slightest idea where 
 the thief that robbed the Fayerweather s is 
 now," said I, wishing with all my heart that 
 the constable was on his vacation at some 
 pleasant summer resort, far, far away. 
 
 "Minerva," said I, trying to take the bull 
 by the horns, "what makes you say that I 
 entertained a thief last night?" 
 
 "I didn say so, Mist. Vernon. This 
 ge man said that a man, now robbed that 
 house, an ast me if we had a mid a mid 
 night vis ter; an I said no one but your 
 frien that I cooked the om let for ; an he ast 
 me how he looked, an I told him it couldn 
 be him, because you an him was great 
 frien s, an I knowed you wasn no frien s 
 with a burglar. 
 
 "Hm," said I, wondering why in thunder- 
 ation I had been placed in such an unpleasant 
 position as this, solely through my well- 
 meant efforts to keep Minerva contented. 
 
 "Did you entertain a friend here after 
 midnight, last night?" asked the constable,
 
 G8 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 who seemed a painfully direct sort of indi 
 vidual. 
 
 " There was a man came here late last 
 night, and we had a little chat together, and 
 a a little supper, you might call it." 
 
 I paused and looked at Ethel. She was 
 the color of a carnation. 
 
 "Go on," said the constable. 
 
 At this I remembered my dignity, and 
 again stood upon it. 
 
 "Why should I go on? Who are you to 
 cross-question me in this way!" 
 
 "I am the constable, as I said before, and 
 I consider it very suspicious that you should 
 be visited by a man who had a bag that 
 jingled, at midnight." 
 
 "Why shouldn t it jingle at midnight?" 
 said I with a desperate attempt to impart a 
 tone of lightness to the conversation. "If 
 I choose to give a meal to a wayfarer with 
 a jingling bag, I suppose it is my own con 
 cern." 
 
 "Mist. Vernon, he warn t no tramp. He 
 was a good dresser," said Minerva, looking 
 at me reproachfully. 
 
 Was - this man a friend of
 
 THE CONSTABLE CALLS 69 
 
 yours or not! 7 asked the constable 
 doggedly. 
 
 "He was a friend of mine last night," said 
 I, thinking of the debt of gratitude I felt I 
 owned him when he went away. 
 
 "Did you suspect him of being a thief?" 
 said the constable, in such a casual way that 
 without thinking I said "Yes." 
 
 Minerva s arms had been folded on her 
 breast. They dropped to her side. Ethel 
 slipped behind the constable and went into 
 the parlour to cool her red cheeks, I sup 
 pose. 
 
 It was certainly a very unpleasant position 
 for both of us, and I felt that my white lies 
 were coming home to roost way ahead of 
 roosting time. 
 
 "Did he give you a part of the spoils as a 
 reward for having fed him?" 
 
 "No, sir." This indignantly. 
 
 "He didn t give you this?" said he, pull 
 ing out of his pocket a silver vase. 
 
 "No." 
 
 At this Minerva actually began to sob. 
 "Oh, Mist. Vernon, how could you say that? 
 I found that vase in the kitchen this morning,
 
 70 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 and this man says it was stolen from them 
 people. Oh, why did I come up here ? 
 
 " Philip, you might as well tell the whole 
 story," said Ethel, coming back from the 
 parlour. We ll probably lose Minerva now, 
 anyway. 
 
 "So there is a story," said the constable, 
 crossing his legs in a most irritating way. 
 In fact he couldn t have done anything that 
 would not have been irritating. 
 
 I saw that the best thing to do was to tell 
 the truth, ridiculous as it might sound with 
 Minerva there. Indeed, the very fact of my 
 telling it might soften the girl and show her 
 how much we were willing to descend in our 
 efforts to keep her valuable services. But I 
 made a wrong start. I said : 
 
 "I knew that the man was a burglar " 
 
 Minerva immediately burst out sobbing 
 and left the kitchen and went to her room, 
 and my mental eye could see her remorse 
 lessly packing her trunk. 
 
 "Go on," said the constable, and then, "Go 
 outside," said he to the mulatto. 
 
 "Well, now that they ve gone," said I in a
 
 THE CONSTABLE CALLS 71 
 
 relieved tone, I can tell you the whole thing, 
 farcical as it is. Have you a servant!" 
 
 "My wife has a hired girl. What s that 
 got to do with it?" 
 
 "Do you have trouble in keeping her?" 
 
 "We have trouble in keeping them. It s 
 one after another. They all get the itch for 
 the mills or the stores." 
 
 * Good ! Then you 11 understand me, said 
 I, and I told him the whole story, going on to 
 s,ay: 
 
 "When we were roused by this burglar, 
 and I realized that Minerva would throw up 
 her position if she was unduly startled, I 
 resolved to throw myself on the burglar s 
 mercy, and ask him to pose as my friend, 
 so as to deceive Minerva. It worked all 
 right, or would have worked all right if you 
 hadn t come here to upset her worse than 
 ever. She s probably packing her trunk, 
 now " 
 
 "By Godfrey, I m sorry," said the con 
 stable, who seemed a very decent sort of fel 
 low, now that I knew him better. 
 
 "You may well be sorry," said I, with con 
 siderably more spirit than I had yet shown.
 
 72 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Of course, I understand that you are doing 
 your duty, but it s always best to come to 
 headquarters in an affair of this kind. You 
 got only a garbled version from Minerva. 
 I have given you the facts. The burglar 
 evidently left that cup by mistake, and the 
 Fayerweathers are welcome to it. I m sure 
 I never want to see it again. It would be 
 a perpetual reminder of our loss of Miner 
 va." 
 
 The constable rose. "It s a durned 
 shame," said he, but of course I didn t 
 know anything about you. So then you 
 don t know where the burglar went after he 
 left here?" 
 
 I hesitated. It did not seem honourable to 
 tell even the little I knew about the man who 
 had been my guest. 
 
 "He went out the front door," said I, 
 "but where he is now I haven t the shadow of 
 a suspicion." 
 
 The constable opened the kitchen door. 
 "Come along, Jim," said he. 
 
 Then he took his leave. 
 
 Overhead Minerva was preparing for the 
 same thing.
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 MISS PUSSY TRIES FLY PAPER. 
 
 IN the back hallway, up stairs, there was 
 a long wooden chest, half full of old 
 magazines. Behind it mice had estab 
 lished a home. I did not know this at the 
 time, but was to learn it a few minutes after 
 the constable left. 
 
 We stood in the kitchen, Ethel and I, list 
 ening to the heavy foot-falls of Minerva. 
 She was evidently packing her trunk. Sud 
 denly there came a mewing at the kitchen 
 door, and I opened it for the entrance of 
 Miss Pussy, who made a bee line for up 
 stairs, one of her hunting grounds. 
 
 "We might hide Miss Pussy," said I, "and 
 then Minerva wouldn t go." 
 
 Minerva s voice has a penetrating quality, 
 and in a minute we could hear her making a 
 confidant of Miss Pussy. 
 
 "Miss Pussy, you an me is go n back to 
 
 73
 
 74 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 the lovely city. Country s ba-ad nough, but 
 livin with the Men s of burglars is wuss. 
 What you want, Miss Pussy?" 
 
 The voice came out into the hall; Minerva 
 had evidently followed the cat out. 
 
 "Yeah, you ll get a mouse behin there. 
 You wait " 
 
 We heard a grunt such as some people 
 make when they lift something heavy, and 
 then a characteristic chuckle, and then a half 
 agonized, 
 
 "Ooh, come out, come out, Miss Pussy. 
 You ll git squished. I can t hold it. Come 
 out." 
 
 "What is happening now?" said I to 
 Ethel. 
 
 "Oh, some of her tomfoolery. I m out of 
 patience with her." 
 
 "Mist. Vernon! Mist. Vernon! quick! 
 qui-i-ck! I can t hoi much longer! Pussy 11 
 be squished!" 
 
 I rushed up those familiar stairs, followed 
 by Ethel, and there stood Minerva, her eyes 
 nearly popping out of her head as she tried 
 with bare success to hold up the heavy chest 
 full of magazines.
 
 MISS PUSSY TRIES FLY PAPER 75 
 
 Of the cat nothing was to be seen except 
 a twitching tail that told me she was under 
 neath the chest watching a mouse in calm 
 obliviousness of the fact that her mistress 
 was using all her strength in an effort to 
 save her from becoming only a map of a cat. 
 
 "Hold on a minute," I cried, rushing to 
 her assistance, but just as I reached her the 
 chest slipped from her fingers. 
 
 But a cat with all its nine lives fresh 
 within its young frame, is not easily 
 "squished," even by so heavy a thing as a 
 chest full of magazines, and Miss Pussy s 
 body darted out just in time. Not so the 
 tip of her tail which, whisking behind her 
 as she turned to rush out, was caught be 
 tween chest and floor, and acted like a push 
 button on a call bell, for she emitted a con 
 tinuous yawp that lasted until I had lifted 
 the chest again. 
 
 Cats generally see where they are going, 
 but Miss Pussy had been looking behind her 
 at the spectacle of her imprisoned tail, and 
 when I released her she sprang high in the 
 air and landed compactly and dexterously 
 on a sheet of sticky fly paper.
 
 76 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Never can I forget the look she gave us 
 over her shoulder as her feet struck the gluey 
 mass. To give herself a leverage by which 
 to pull her dainty fore-paws out of the en 
 tanglement, she sat down temporarily, as 
 she thought permanently, as the fly paper 
 decided. 
 
 We iv ere sorry for the cat, but being Amer 
 icans we gave ourselves over to mirth at 
 the picture she presented. The pencil of a 
 Frost is needed to adequately represent her 
 agonised twisting on the sticky sheet. At 
 last, by a Herculean effort, she extricated her 
 fore paws and walking glue-ily to the head 
 of the stairs she dragged herself along on 
 the fly paper as if she were part sled, part 
 cat. Coining to the head of the stairs she 
 attempted to walk down in the manner of 
 trick cats, but not being used to the exercise 
 she turned a series of summersaults instead, 
 and landed at the foot so completely en 
 meshed in sticky fly paper that it would have 
 been a small fly, indeed, who could have 
 found a place for his own little feet upon its 
 yellow surface. 
 
 I have often derided the witless persons
 
 MISS PUSSY TRIES FLY PAPER 77 
 
 who found amusement in what I call panto 
 mime catastrophes, but this simple conjunc 
 tion of cat and fly paper was as funny as 
 anything I ever looked at. 
 
 "It ll spoil her nice fur," said Minerva, 
 running down stairs after the cat and over 
 taking her at the kitchen door, which I had 
 fortunately closed. A sympathetic hand 
 picked up the papered cat and attempted to 
 divorce her from her adhesive mantle, but 
 when I came down it looked to me as if there 
 were far more fur on the "tanglefoot" than 
 Pussy had herself, and the ungrateful animal 
 had scratched her benefactress as well as she 
 could with glue covered talons. Then spit 
 ting and swearing, Miss Pussy dashed 
 through the kitchen window, not waiting for 
 it to be opened, and went to her first retreat, 
 where she remained for the rest of the day, 
 ridding herself, after the manner of cats, of 
 as much as she could of the flies last resting 
 place. 
 
 It suddenly occurred to me that the time 
 was ripe for more diplomacy, that even now, 
 at the eleventh hour, I might save Minerva
 
 to the house of Vernon, and things would 
 continue to go on as smoothly as before. 
 
 "Minerva, you saved Miss Pussy s life by 
 holding on as you did," said I. (I said 
 nothing about her asininity in lifting the 
 chest for Miss Pussy to creep under it.) 
 
 "Might as well be dead as all gawmed up 
 with that fly paper stuff." 
 
 "Well, she has a cat s tongue, and she 
 knows how to use it. She ll be as sleek as 
 sealskin by to-night. Minerva!" 
 
 "Yas r." 
 
 "Minerva, if I raised your wages, do you 
 think you d stay with us? Of course, you 
 know I never saw that man until last night." 
 
 "Then how d he know so much about them 
 children and all them people?" 
 
 "That was just his funny way. He was 
 making believe just just to make talk. 
 But you haven t answered my question. 
 "Would you stay if I raised your wages I 
 
 "How much?" 
 
 There was no use in my being mealy 
 mouthed now, and so I flung economy to the 
 four winds of heaven and said: 
 
 "Thirty dollars a month."
 
 MISS PUSSY TRIES FLY PAPER 79 
 
 Minerva gasped. The bait was in her 
 throat. 
 
 "Thirty dollars a month right through 
 the summer," said I. 
 
 "I ll stay, Mist. Vernon, jes to help you 
 out, but I do hate the country and the night 
 time. If it was all day long all the time, I 
 could stan it. If I could git to bed about 
 eight o clock, I wouldn t mind it so much, 
 but you have dinner so late, I don t get the 
 dishes washed in time." 
 
 I pondered, and just then Ethel came into 
 the kitchen. 
 
 "Ethel, Minerva is going to stay with us 
 for the summer, but she is afraid of the 
 dark, and thinks that if we could have dinner 
 earlier she would like it better." 
 
 Ethel sniffed. She sniffed disdainfully. 
 
 "When would you like to have it, Mi 
 nerva?" said I, hoping that the sniffing 
 would cease. Sniffs are not a part of diplo 
 macy, by any means. 
 
 "If you had it at five o clock, I d get to 
 bed at eight." 
 
 "Five o clock is ridiculous," burst out
 
 80 MINERVA S MANCEUVBES 
 
 Ethel. I looked at her warningly, but she 
 did not pay any attention to my signal. 
 
 No, Minerva, said she. Six o clock is 
 plenty early enough." 
 
 "Well," said Minerva, actually putting her 
 hands on her hips, a new attitude for her, 
 "I m on y staying now to oblige, and I ll 
 have to go back, I reckon." 
 
 Now this was a little too much, but for 
 the sake of keeping her and the health of 
 my wife at any cost, I said : 
 
 "Well, Minerva, I suppose that in spite of 
 Mrs. Vernon s objection to the hour we ll 
 have dinner at five, but I tell you plainly 
 that it is because I do not want Mrs. Vernon 
 to be left without a servant." 
 
 "You re a very ungrateful girl, Minerva," 
 said Ethel with a strange lack of tact. * Mr. 
 Vernon has put up with a great deal from 
 you, and you act as if you were ill treated." 
 
 "I m kep a prisoner in the country, an 
 that s ill treatment all right," said Minerva, 
 sullenly, and I motioned to Ethel and we left 
 the kitchen together.
 
 CHAPTER VIL 
 
 MINERVA S PASTORAL. 
 
 NEXT morning was a pleasant one, and 
 as soon as breakfast was over I went 
 out into the kitchen and told Minerva 
 that if her friend did not delay, her musical 
 instrument ought to arrive by Friday. I 
 found her in her usual state of good temper. 
 
 That little place where you were sewing, 
 out there in the woods, will be a very good 
 spot in which to play it," said I suggestively. 
 
 "Oh, I kin play it anywheys," said she 
 with a kindling glance, that bespoke the artist 
 of temperament, absolute master of his in 
 strument. So Paderewski might speak of his 
 ability to play a piano in a drawing room 
 car. 
 
 That morning I had a notion to go fishing, 
 and I asked Ethel to join me, but she said 
 she was tired, and laughed as she said it. 
 Of course Minerva was the real reason. 
 
 81
 
 82 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 I wish that houses were automatic, said 
 I, "so that they could run themselves. Just 
 think how nice it would be to have a house 
 fitted to run by steam all day long, by simply 
 dropping a five dollar gold piece in the slot 
 in the morning." 
 
 "How expensive," said the economical 
 Ethel. 
 
 "I don t think so," said I, "there s many 
 a housekeeper who would be willing to give 
 up many things if five dollars a day would 
 bring relief from household sorrows. No 
 servants needed. A child can run it. Can be 
 fitted to any house. Gas or electric or steam 
 motive power. Not half the danger from ex 
 plosions that went with the old system when 
 servants were liable to go off at any moment. 
 Come to our warerooms and see a large house 
 running by itself. There s a fortune in the 
 idea." 
 
 "Well, you have the idea," said Ethel. 
 "Go sell it." 
 
 "No, I m going fishing." 
 
 The great advantage that fishing has over 
 some sports is that one does not need ability 
 or paraphernalia of any sort beyond those of
 
 MINERVA S PASTORAL 83 
 
 the most primitive type. Your hammer- 
 thrower needs brawn, your chess player 
 brains, your golf player a caddy and a vo 
 cabulary, but anyone can go fishing. Of 
 course there is a great difference between 
 going fishing and catching fish, and I am one 
 of that large army that goes fishing and re 
 turns from fishing as innocent of fish as at 
 the moment of departure. 
 
 But to the man with eyes, there are many 
 things besides fish that he can catch, and, 
 although no hint of a nibble came to my pa 
 tient fingers, I reveled in the day and would 
 have stayed longer if I had not felt anxious 
 about Ethel and Minerva. "What could they 
 do to amuse each other, with me away? 
 
 I made my pleasant way back up the hills, 
 so reminiscent of Scotch scenery, and knew 
 very well the sarcasms that would greet me 
 when I acknowledged that I had possessed no 
 magnetism over the fish. Ethel always has 
 a store of amiable causticisms for me when 
 I come back from a fishless expedition. 
 
 When I returned I found the house empty 
 and the gluey Miss Pussy shut up and mi 
 aowing in the kitchen. I was startled at first.
 
 84 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 I had come up by way of the pine grove, and 
 there was no one there. I called my loudest 
 and no one answered. Had Minerva obliged 
 Ethel to get a horse and wagon and take her 
 to the station in my absence? It looked like 
 it. The fire was nearly out, the dishes all 
 washed, the floor freshly mopped. That was 
 it. Minerva had swept and garnished the 
 house and had then left it, and in a short time 
 Ethel would come back disconsolate, and then 
 why, then we would pack up and go back 
 ourselves. 
 
 The only thing that did not fit in with my 
 conjecture was the presence of Miss Pussy. 
 It did not seem as if Minerva would go away 
 and leave her precious cat. 
 
 I heard a rattle of wheels. Bert Dalton 
 was going to the village. I would go down 
 with him and ride back with Ethel. She had 
 probably hired the Stevens horse. I hur 
 ried out and hailed Bert, and he stopped. 
 "Going to the village?" 
 "Yes, sir, want anything got?" 
 I explained the situation, and joined him, 
 and we were soon out of sight of the house. 
 I looked at my watch. If we hurried I could
 
 85 
 
 yet get to the station before the train for 
 New York came in. I told Bert so, and he 
 quickened the horse s pace. 
 
 About half a mile on our way I heard some 
 one calling for help. Bert heard the call, 
 too, and just as I was going to say "stop," 
 he stopped of his own accord. We both 
 jumped out. The noise came from a field on 
 our right, mostly given over to blueberry 
 bushes, but with a little timber on its farther 
 edge. 
 
 "Help! Murder!" It was a high-keyed 
 woman s voice. 
 
 "Tramps," said Bert, as we hurried on. 
 
 "Hysterics," said I, for I was sure I heard 
 laughter alternating with the screams. And 
 the laughter had a strangely familiar sound. 
 
 On we ran, the screams continuing, and at 
 last the sounds were located, that is, the 
 screams were. They came from a low grow 
 ing chestnut. Perched in its branches sat Mi 
 nerva, her face the image of horror, and be 
 low on a fallen trunk sat Ethel, laughing, with 
 the tears rolling down her cheeks. By her 
 side were two tin pails, nearly full of blue 
 berries.
 
 86 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 "Minerva, stop that screaming. I tell you 
 she won t hurt you," said Ethel, and then 
 went off into another fit of laughter, and 
 Minerva yelled blue murder again. 
 
 Neither had seen us. 
 
 "Come up here, Mis. Vernon. He ll kill 
 you, shu s you bawn." 
 
 "She s gone away. You ve frightened 
 her. Come down." 
 
 "Oh, Lawdy! Lawdy! Lawdy! Why d I 
 come? He ll shu ly kill us." 
 
 When we saw that the danger was imag- 
 inery, I signalled to Bert, and we both 
 stepped out of sight of Minerva and Mrs. 
 Vernon, in order to see the comedy. Ethel s 
 perfect calmness and her amusement, but 
 slightly tinged with sympathy, formed such 
 a striking contrast to Minerva s abject fear. 
 Who was this he-she that was threatening 
 Minerva s existence? 
 
 There was a rustling in the bushes, Mi 
 nerva s screams redoubled, and in spite of 
 her 180 pounds she climbed still higher into 
 the tree. 
 
 And then the cause of all the commotion 
 showed " himself. " &, mild-looking Jersey
 
 MINERVA S PASTORAL 87 
 
 cow, all unconscious of the agony she was 
 causing, came into view and advanced toward 
 Ethel, sniffing. 
 
 "Don t you overturn our berries," said 
 my wife, walking toward the creature. The 
 cow was evidently a pet, for as Ethel put 
 out her hand to shoo her away she sniffed 
 expectantly and put out her tongue in hope 
 of receiving some little delicacy. 
 
 This so terrified Minerva that she took an 
 other step upward, put her faith in a re 
 creant limb, and, just as Bert and I discov 
 ered ourselves to Ethel, our "cook lady" fell 
 out of the tree and landed smack on the cow, 
 who kindly broke her fall and then broke 
 into a run, kicking her heels and waving her 
 tail, after the manner of her species. 
 
 Minerva was not hurt, thanks to the cow, 
 but she was much agitated, and it was some 
 time before we could make her listen to the 
 words of wisdom that all three poured forth 
 with generous ease. 
 
 "It was such a lovely day, we thought we d 
 go berrying, said Ethel. You got my note, ( 
 I suppose." 
 
 "No, I did not. I made up my mind that
 
 88 MINEKVA S MANCBUVEES 
 
 you were taking Minerva to the train, and 
 as Bert passed by just then, I came down 
 with him in order to go back with you." 
 
 Then how came you here ? asked Ethel. 
 
 "How came we here? How came we here? 
 Why those screams went beyond Mount 
 Xebo. You ll see people pouring over the 
 edge of it in a few minutes. Such shrieks I 
 never heard outside of a mad house. I 
 thought it was Indians." 
 
 Minerva s agitation had now taken the 
 form of sobbing, and as she mopped her 
 face with her apron it began to dawn upon 
 her that she had not been in danger until she 
 took to the tree. She helped herself to a 
 handful of berries, and they seemed to do 
 her good, for she listened to Ethel s account 
 of what had happened and punctuated it with 
 what at first were chuckles, and when the hu 
 mour of the thing had soaked in far enough 
 were her irresistible guffaws, so provocative 
 of laughter in others. 
 
 "We were picking berries and enjoying 
 ourselves very much when I heard a rustling 
 and looked up, and there was a cow. I said 
 rather hastily, Oh, look, and Minerva
 
 MINEKVA S PASTORAL 89 
 
 looked and screamed out, It s a bear, and 
 before I could tell her what it was she had 
 gone up that tree as if she had lived in the 
 country all her life. She begged of me to 
 come up with her, but I got over my fear 
 of cows some time ago." This with a con 
 scious blush, for Ethel knew that in times 
 past she, too, had fled from a cow. 
 
 I turned to Minerva. "Do you mean to tell 
 me that you never saw a cow before ? There 
 are cows in the city." 
 
 "I never saw one." 
 
 "Haven t you seen pictures of them on 
 groceries ? 
 
 "I spec I have, but comin thataway at 
 me it looked like a bear." 
 
 "Very like a bear," said I. "Well, it s 
 lucky you weren t hurt. You can thank the 
 cow that you didn t break your back. I hope 
 you didn t break hers." 
 
 She went off into yells of laughter at this 
 mild bit of humour, and cheerfulness now be 
 ing restored, I thanked Bert for giving me 
 a lift and told him I didn t care to go any 
 farther. 
 
 He left us and we went on picking berries,
 
 90 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 and before the pail was full Minerva had a 
 chance to pat the fearsome beast that had 
 so nearly frightened her to death. Now that 
 she knew it was merely a cow, the source of 
 the milk and cream of which she was so fond, 
 she had no fear at all, being in that respect 
 different from Ethel, who in the beginning 
 had feared cows because they were cows, 
 just as certain other women fear mice be 
 cause they are mice, and as Lord Roberts 
 fears a cat because it is a cat and not "the 
 enemy." 
 
 The whistle at the Wharton Paper Mill 
 told us it was twelve o clock, and like hungry 
 mill hands we started for home. Minerva 
 walked ahead with both pails, and Ethel and 
 I followed. 
 
 Half way up Minerva burst into song. 
 
 How volatile ! said I. 
 
 "The worst is over. We ll have no more 
 trouble with her," said Ethel. 
 
 So lightly do we attempt to read the fu 
 ture.
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE CORDEEN COMES. 
 
 THAT afternoon Bert brought an ex 
 press package to Minerva. 
 
 To her it was a package of sunlight. 
 
 In fact it was the accordeon. 
 
 As soon as Minerva opened the bundle she 
 stopped cooking dinner and began to play 
 on her beloved instrument. Such sounds I 
 had hoped never to hear again, and I went 
 out into the kitchen and told her that I was 
 sorry, but that I could not stand it in the 
 house. 
 
 She looked up from the instrument, and 
 there was a world of appeal in her eyes. I 
 had never seen so much expression in them, 
 Music certainly had power over her. 
 
 "Oh, Mist. Vernon, it ll be dark after the 
 dishes is washed, an I don* dah go in the 
 woods," said she. "I ll play sof." 
 
 "Yes, but you ll delay dinner." 
 91
 
 92 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 She actually came over and laid her brown 
 hand on my sleeve. 
 
 "Mist. Vernon," said she, in honey tones, 
 "I m on y gettin dinner at five to please 
 myse f. If I git it at six Mis. Vernon will 
 like it better. She said so. I won t play 
 long." 
 
 But I was determined not to listen to such 
 music as that in the house. So I went out 
 doors. 
 
 Ethel was sitting at the window of her 
 bedroom. When she saw me she put her 
 hands to her ears and made a grimace. 
 
 I made signs to her to come down. 
 
 "Let us be diplomatic," said I, when she 
 had come down stairs. "Let us go for a 
 long walk." 
 
 The hideous "upside down music" assailed 
 us until we were fully a half a mile away. 
 
 "Ethel," said I, "we haven t gone about 
 this matter of keeping Minerva in the right 
 way. 
 
 "Meaning what?" said Ethel. 
 
 "Meaning that we are trying to make her 
 like a thing she does not understand. The 
 country is an unknown land to her. We
 
 THE CORDEEN COMES 93 
 
 must try to make her acquainted with it. and 
 perhaps she will love it so much that we will 
 have hard work getting her to go back with 
 us." 
 
 "Well, goodness, that is hardly worth 
 striving for," said Ethel. "There are only 
 three months up here, but there are nine 
 months in the city, and we want her there." 
 
 "Well, we won t educate her up to that 
 point, then, but we must do something tq 
 make her more contented. She is just as 
 much a human being as you and I, and I dare 
 say that her summer is just as much to her 
 as ours is to us. We are depriving her of 
 recreation pier amusements, of ice cream, of 
 band concerts, and what are we giving her in 
 return? We ought to go out and get some 
 one of her own colour to come and call on 
 her." 
 
 "Don t be absurd, Philip. Minerva is not 
 a farce." 
 
 "No, she is only getting to be a tragedy. 
 But I m not absurd. Next to Minerva s love 
 for the city is her love for people. If we 
 can t make her love the country, we may be 
 able to make her love the people of the coun-
 
 94 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 try, and I am going to ask Bert if there is 
 not some respectable man or woman who 
 could be hired to come here and call on Mi 
 nerva every day." 
 
 Ethel looked at me expecting to see a twin 
 kle or so in one or another of my eyes, but 
 I was not thinking of twinkling. I never was 
 so much in earnest. Minerva was plainly 
 sorry that she had been impertinent and I 
 was going to be eminently just. 
 
 We dismissed Minerva from our thoughts, 
 or at least I, man-like dismissed her from 
 mine. I don t suppose that Ethel was able 
 to do so, but we did not talk of her again, 
 preferring to drink in the beauties of nature 
 and call each other s attention to each 
 draught. Rare is that nature lover who can 
 silently absorb the loveliness of a landscape. 
 
 Nor would I laugh at those who call on 
 their companions for corroboration of their 
 views as to views. It is simply another way 
 of sharing delights, and that man who gob 
 bles up a landscape and never comments 
 upon it is not likely to have kept silence from 
 Japanese motives. They say that the Jap 
 anese take the appreciation of beauty so
 
 THE CORDEEN COMES 95 
 
 much as a matter of course that they never 
 refer to the rapturous tints in an orchard of 
 peach blossoms or the tender greens of a 
 spring landscape, feeling that it would be an 
 insult to invite attention where attention was 
 already bestowed; but with us of the West, 
 when a man refrains from speaking about 
 this lordly oak or that graceful dip of hill, 
 or those clouds dying on the horizon in every 
 conceivable colour, the chances are that he is 
 thinking of his business affairs, and the 
 clouds die and the hills dip and the tree 
 spreads not for him. 
 
 Many of these graceful thoughts I ex 
 pressed in fitting words to Ethel, so it will 
 be seen that our walk was not without in 
 terest, and as she in turn said many quotable 
 things, which I now forget, the walk was pro 
 longed until to our astonishment we found 
 that it was seven. 
 
 "Hungry as a bear?" asked I. 
 
 "Indeed I am. Probably Minerva has 
 been holding dinner in the oven this half 
 hour, and it will not be fit to eat." 
 
 We hastened our steps, and in a few min 
 utes our home burst upon us also more
 
 96 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 strains from the accordeon together with 
 plunks from a banjo. 
 
 We heard the plunks before we saw who 
 was supplying them, but in a moment the 
 musician was seen to be seated upon the 
 front verandah. 
 
 He was a tall, good-looking mulatto, and 
 I at once recognized him as being the man 
 who had driven the constable over that morn 
 ing. 
 
 Ethel stopped short, and became angry at 
 the same instant. I stopped short and be 
 came amused at the same instant, thus show 
 ing how the same acts will affect different 
 natures; also showing how a person can do 
 two things at once and do them both well. 
 For there is no question but that our stops 
 were as short as they could have been, and 
 our anger and amusement were well con 
 ceived and well carried out. 
 
 Ethel was too angry to speak. I was too 
 amused to keep silent. 
 
 "It s scandalous," said Ethel, as soon as 
 she could find words. 
 
 "It s just right," said I. "And it has
 
 THE CORDEEN COMES 97 
 
 given me a good idea. After dinner I will 
 tell you about it." 
 
 The ban joist had seen us first, and had told 
 Minerva, and both had jumped to their feet, 
 the man to bow and Minerva to run into the 
 kitchen, where she was followed by her 
 friend. 
 
 By the time we had come up to the front 
 path to the veranda the coloured man had 
 come out from the kitchen and in most mel 
 odious tones said, 
 
 "Minerva wanted to know if you would 
 like dinner served on the piazza, the evening 
 being so pleasant." 
 
 Delmonico never had a head waiter with 
 the aplomb, the native dignity, the utter un 
 consciousness of self that this superbly built 
 man displayed. 
 
 I felt that we had suddenly fallen heir to 
 a fortune, and a group of retainers, and try 
 ing to play my part to the best of my ability 
 I said, 
 
 "By all means er " 
 
 "James." 
 
 "By all means, James. Is it ready?" 
 
 "I will ascertain in a moment sir," said
 
 98 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 this yellow prince, and retired to the kitchen, 
 whence he emerged in a moment. 
 
 "A slight retention in the oven in regard 
 to the roast, sir, but the soup will be ready 
 immejutly." 
 
 Ethel had gone up stairs at once. I nodded 
 my head gravely and said, 
 
 "Very well, James," and then I went up to 
 make my toilet. 
 
 "The tide has turned, Ethel," said I when 
 I reached the room. "A kind Providence has 
 sent the grandson of some Senegambian king 
 to wait on us and to amuse Minerva between 
 meals. Put a ribbon in your hair, and I 
 will put a buttercup in my button hole, or I 
 will dress, if you say so, and we will put on 
 the style that befits us. 
 
 "Who is that man?" said Ethel. 
 
 "In fairy stories wise people never ques 
 tion. They accept. This is the constable s 
 driver, and he was probably attracted here 
 by the dread strains of the accordeon. Let 
 us make the most of him. I am quite sure 
 he is going to serve dinner, and I feel it in 
 my bones that he will do it well." 
 
 And he did do it well and the dinner was
 
 THE CORDEEN COMES 99 
 
 worth serving. It had been delayed by the 
 concert, there was no doubt of that, and it 
 was nearly eight when we sat down to it, 
 but the silent, graceful fellow, moved noise 
 lessly in and out from kitchen to veranda, 
 the whippoorwills sang to us, the roses filled 
 the air with fragrance, and a silver crescent 
 in the west rode to its couch full sleepily. 
 
 This may sound poetic. If it does it is 
 because we felt satisfied with everything once 
 more, and satisfaction is poetry. 
 
 After the dinner was over Ethel went out 
 into the kitchen about something and found 
 Minerva smiling and bustling around to get 
 the dishes washed in a hurry. 
 
 "Mis. Vernon," said she, "that man wants, 
 to know if Mist. Vernon has any work for 
 him to do." 
 
 "That man" was out on the veranda 
 clearing away the dessert dishes. 
 
 "I ll see," said Ethel. "How did he hap 
 pen to come here?" 
 
 "Why, Mis. Vernon, that man is related 
 with my folks. His aunt s brother married 
 my aunt s niece. I don know what that 
 makes him to me, but he remembers me when
 
 100 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 I was a little gal in New York, and he recker- 
 nised me as soon as he saw me. He says " 
 
 The approach of James prevented her from 
 saying anything further, but as soon as he 
 had gone out for the coffee cups, she con 
 tinued : 
 
 "He says that he s on y be n workin with 
 that policeman while he was manufacturin 
 hay, an he d like to do odd jobs." 
 
 "I m afraid they ll have to be real odd 
 ones," said I when Ethel told me what had 
 transpired. "But if it is going to make 
 Minerva contented we will have him come 
 and paint the porch green to-morrow, and 
 red the day after." 
 
 I sat and smoked peacefully for a few min 
 utes. James had taken the last saucer out 
 to the kitchen, and Ethel sat by my side, look 
 ing out into the waning light of day. 
 
 Suddenly there came the strains of "Roll 
 Jordan, Roll," in the form of a soprano and 
 bass duet. 
 
 Minerva s playing on the accordeon had 
 not prepared me for the sweetness of her 
 voice, which is perhaps not strange, and of 
 course I knew nothing of James s capabilities
 
 THE CORDEEN COMES 101 
 
 as a vocalist until I heard his rich, mellow 
 baritone blend with, her warm soprano. 
 
 The effect was delightful. Not since I 
 heard the original Fiske Jubilee singers, 
 twenty-five years ago, when a boy of six or 
 seven, have I heard any negro music that 
 satisfied me as this did. 
 
 Ethel," said I, "we are It. Is there a 
 local charitable organization or a Village Im 
 provement Society, or a Mother s Meeting 
 that needs- help?" 
 
 "What are you after now," said Ethel. 
 
 "Minerva s pleasure first and foremost, 
 but also the amelioration of the bitter lot of 
 parties at present unknown, by means of a 
 concert to be given at the house of Mrs. 
 Vernon, by James and Minerva." 
 
 "Philip!" said Ethel. 
 
 "As near as I can make out," said I, "I 
 am devoting this summer to the building up 
 of your health by a life in the country, free 
 from cares. To do that we must have a 
 girl, and there is but one girl that we know 
 we can have, and that is the girl we do have. 
 Can t you imagine how Minerva will take fire 
 at the thought of singing in a concert?"
 
 102 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 "I suppose she would like it," said Ethel, 
 but how do you know that we can get peo 
 ple to come?" 
 
 "We needn t worry about that part of it 
 at first. First of all we must begin our re 
 hearsals, and they will take time. Do you 
 appreciate that fact? And very first of all, 
 I ll go out and interview James." 
 
 "Philip," said Ethel, rising and looking 
 at me with a vexed expression, "I wish you 
 had more dignity. I 11 go out and tell James 
 that you wish to speak to him." 
 
 1 i Not at all, said I. What ! You go out 
 and tell him ? Wait. Sit where you are, and 
 all will be well." 
 
 I was beginning to feel in holiday mood, 
 for I was sure that I had struck on an ar 
 rangement that would tide us over at least 
 a fortnight. 
 
 I went out to the kitchen. 
 
 "Minerva," said I, "Mrs. Vernon would 
 like to speak to you." 
 
 I then went back to Ethel and said, "I 
 have asked Minerva to come. When she 
 comes, tell her to send James. We will do 
 this thing in style while we are about it.
 
 THE CORDEEN COMES 103 
 
 Minerva came in, her face all smiles. 
 "Minerva, ask your friend James to come 
 out," said Ethel. "Mr. Vernon wishes to 
 speak to him." 
 
 "That s it! That s style!" said I, as soon 
 as Minerva had gone. "Now is our dignity 
 preserved, and James feels that he has fallen 
 among people who know what s what. Do 
 you want to be present at this interview?" 
 
 Ethel decided that she did not, and went 
 into the parlour as James came out of the 
 kitchen. 
 
 "Did you want to speak to me, sir?" said 
 James respectfully. 
 
 "Yes, James. What is your last name?" 
 "Mars. James Montgomery Mars." 
 "Minerva tells me, James, that you are 
 looking for work." 
 
 "Yes, sir; for congenial work." 
 "Would singing be congenial work?" 
 "Singing s a pleasure, sir. It ain t 
 work." 
 
 "I ve been thinking," said I, "that what 
 this section needed was a concert for the 
 benefit of something. Now, Mrs. Vernon 
 likes to make other people happy, and while
 
 104 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 we were listening to you and Minerva sing, 
 it struck us both that a concert of old planta 
 tion melodies like those you could sing,, 
 would be well received, say at the Congrega 
 tional Church at Egerton. I would pay you 
 a coachman s wages for staying here and 
 practising, but all the money taken in would 
 go to " 
 
 "The Hurlbert Hospital. That s what 
 they always do with the money up here, sir. 
 
 "Oh, I see, like the Liverpool Sailors 
 Home." 
 
 He did not understand my allusion, but I 
 did not explain. Allusions that are explained 
 lose half their charm. 
 
 "What do you think of the idea?" 
 
 "I think it s all right, sir. But between 
 singing what would I do?" 
 
 "Do you love nature?" 
 
 "I don t know s I know what you intend to 
 mean, sir." 
 
 "Does it make you happy to be out 
 doors?" 
 
 "Oh, sure. I m an out-door boy, all 
 right." 
 
 "Well, Mrs. Vernon, in her desire to ben-
 
 THE CORDEEN COMES 105 
 
 efit humanity You understand me, James 1 
 
 "Oh, I get the words all right. I don t 
 rightly see your drift." 
 
 What I want to say is, that Mrs. Vernon 
 wishes to make Minerva love out doors as 
 well as you do, and she is going to teach her 
 some of the things that a country-bred man 
 like you knows by heart. How to tell an oak 
 from a maple at twilight." 
 
 Oh, that kind has been here before. The 
 Wheelocks, that had this house last year, 
 went out in the woods with these here glasses 
 and they brought things up close with them. 
 They never cared for nature unless they had 
 their glasses." 
 
 "James, I m afraid it is apt to degen 
 erate into something like that, but James, 
 if I tell you something, will you respect my 
 confidence ? 
 
 "Will you please say that in different 
 words?" 
 
 I thought a moment while I chose simpler 
 words. 
 
 "Will you say nothing to Minerva, if I tell 
 you something?" 
 
 "Oh, sure."
 
 106 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 "Well, this concert and these nature les 
 sons are solely for the purpose of keeping 
 Minerva s mind off herself and the city. She 
 wants to go back to New York, and we want 
 her to stay here all summer, and " 
 
 I explained it all to him, and the fellow 
 seemed to enter right into the spirit of the 
 thing, and assured me that he would do all 
 he could to help. 
 
 "Where do you live?" 
 
 "Down in the valley a bit. When shall I 
 show up in the morning?" 
 
 "The earlier, the better. I want you and 
 Minerva to begin to practise for the concert 
 right away. Do you sing by note." 
 
 "Yes, sir." 
 
 "Well, have you any book of negro melo 
 dies." 
 
 "No, sir. Wouldn t do me much good, sir, 
 as I can t read music." 
 
 * Oh, I thought you said you sang by note. 
 
 "Yes, sir. Note by note, right along. I 
 have a good ear, but I can t read music." 
 
 < < Very well, James. Come in the morning 
 prepared to sing note by note, by ear, any-
 
 THE CORDEEN COMES 107 
 
 thing you can remember. Do you know 
 Swing Low, Sweet Chariot V " 
 
 "Indeed I do. Oh, I know all the jubilee 
 songs, and all the rag-time songs, and I 
 guess we can fill up a couple of hours singin 
 in the old Congregational Church." 
 
 He chuckled. 
 
 "What is it, James?" 
 
 "Why, I was thinkin that here the white 
 folks sing down there every Sunday in the 
 church, and if I care to go an hear them it 
 don t cost me a cent, but if Minerva and me 
 sing there in that same church, the white 
 folk 11 have to pay money to hear us. Tain t 
 gen elly that way."
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A NAKED SCUTTEREE. 
 
 THE next morning was one of those days 
 that sometimes come in the summer, 
 when the most desirable thing to do is 
 to sleep. The air was soft and damp, and 
 sleep inviting, and when something awoke 
 me at six o clock, I drowsily looked at my 
 watch and dreamily realised that I was not 
 compelled to catch any train, but could sink 
 into delightful unconsciousness once more. 
 
 Just what had waked me I did not know, 
 but before I went off again I heard the voice 
 of James out doors, and then I heard the 
 voice of Minerva, evidently at her open win 
 dow, saying: 
 
 "I ll be down in a few minutes." 
 And then I dropped off, to be awakened 
 again in what seemed like a moment by these 
 beautiful words: 
 
 108
 
 A NAKED SCUTTERER 109 
 
 "Oh, de debbil he fought he had me fas . 
 
 Le my people go. 
 But I fought I d break his chains at las , 
 
 Le my people go. 
 Go down Moses, way down in Egypt 
 
 la-an , 
 Tell ol Phar o fo to le my people go." 
 
 It was melodious, it was harmonious, but 
 it was also six o clock in the morning. 
 
 "Oh, won t they stop," said Ethel, sleepily. 
 
 "Not by my command," said I. "They 
 are practising for the concert." 
 
 * Oh, I m so sleepy ! What time is it? " 
 
 "Oh, twas a dark an stormy night, 
 
 Le my people go; 
 When Moses an the Israelite, 
 Le my people go." 
 
 "Make them go," said Ethel, her eyes wide 
 open, but her mouth passing from the words 
 to a yawn. 
 
 "And it s such a beautiful morning to 
 sleep/ said I. 
 
 But as verse after verse rolled out sonor 
 ously, sleep fled from the room in dismay, 
 and we followed, and for the first time since
 
 110 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 we bad come to the country, found ourselves 
 as one might say, up before breakfast. The 
 morning air was delightful, but we knew 
 the danger that lurks in morning air on 
 empty stomachs or we thought we knew it. 
 If there is no danger in such exposures I 
 make my humble apology to those who hold 
 the contrary opinion. Personally I do not 
 know what is right to do that is, hygienic- 
 ally right to do, at any given moment. 
 
 May I be forgiven for digressing at this 
 point, in order that I may touch on a topic 
 that has been near my heart for a long time, 
 but has never had a chance for utterance 
 before. I was brought up to believe that 
 water with meals was a very bad thing, so 
 I went without water at meals, and thrived 
 like a green bay tree. 
 
 One day a doctor told me that water with 
 meals was the one thing needed to bring out 
 the tonic properties of food. 
 
 I immediately began to drink water with 
 my meals in perfect trust and confidence, and 
 I continued to thrive like a green bay 
 tree. 
 
 When I was a boy, I was told that tomatoes
 
 A NAKED SCUTTERER 111 
 
 were exceedingly bad; that they had no nu 
 tritive qualities, and that it was but a few 
 short years since they had been called "love 
 apples" and had rightly been considered 
 poisonous. 
 
 With unquestioning faith I refrained from 
 eating the juicy vegetables and remained 
 free from all the diseases that follow in their 
 train. I had not tasted a tomato, and I did 
 not know what I was losing. 
 
 One day when feeling a little off my feed, 
 a young doctor friend said, "What you need 
 is the acid of a tomato." 
 
 With an unfaltering trust I approached a 
 tomato and ate it and realized the many, 
 many years that were irrevocably gone; 
 years in which I might have eaten the suc 
 culent fruit for a tomato is a fruit; there s 
 no question of it. 
 
 After that day I made a point of eating 
 tomatoes whenever I could and I remained 
 free from the diseases that had been said to 
 follow in their train. 
 
 I blindly follow the dictum of the last doc 
 tor who speaks and it is to that fact that I 
 attribute my good health.
 
 112 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 I read somewhere not long since that the 
 best way to keep free from colds was to sit 
 in draughts as much as possible and I be 
 lieve there is a good deal of sound sense back 
 of that dictum, but Ethel will not let me try 
 the virtue of the thing. 
 
 No doctor has told me that it is right to 
 take long walks on an early morning empty 
 stomach and so I have not done it, but I have 
 an English friend who used to walk twenty 
 miles or so to breakfast. The English are 
 always walking twenty miles to somewhere, 
 and look at them. A fine race! 
 
 The Americans are not much given to walk 
 ing, but look at them a fine race ! 
 
 Everything is certainly for the best al 
 ways, everywhere. 
 
 We walked around to the kitchen and found 
 Minerva on her knees before the fire watch 
 ing insufficient kindling feebly burn while 
 James sat on the kitchen table swinging one 
 long leg and teaching her a rag-time melody. 
 
 He rose to his feet as we came in and gave 
 us a hearty good morning and then burst 
 into a good-natured laugh that showed all 
 his beautiful white teeth.
 
 A NAKED SCUTTERER 113 
 
 "Made an early start, sir." 
 
 "Yes, James. It isn t absolutely neces 
 sary for rehearsals to begin quite so early," 
 said I. "It woke us up." 
 
 "There, now, Minerva, what did I tell 
 you? I was sure they d hear it." 
 
 "No question about your filling the 
 church. 
 
 " Deed I m awful sorry," said Minerva, 
 "Wakin you so early, an the fire not kin 
 dled." 
 
 "Well, never mind. We ll drink some 
 milk and then we ll go for a little walk, but 
 I think that to-morrow perhaps the rehears 
 als needn t begin until after breakfast. 
 There ll be a long morning before you and 
 you can rehearse in the morning and take 
 the nature study in the afternoon." 
 
 "Yas r," said Minerva, a shade of reluc 
 tance in her tone which I attributed to the 
 mention of nature study. Minerva evidently 
 wanted life to be one grand sweet song. 
 
 All that morning snatches of melody 
 floated over the landscape in the which land 
 scape we were idly lolling under the trees 
 reading, and I think that household duties
 
 114 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 were neglected, but that James was not 
 averse to work was shown by the fact that 
 he carried great armfuls of kindling wood 
 into the kitchen. 
 
 When Ethel went out there just before 
 lunch she found the west window banked up 
 to the second sash with kindling wood. 
 
 Ethel likes to have the whole house in ship 
 shape order, and this unsightly pile of wood 
 in the kitchen went against the grain. There 
 was enough there to last a week and mean 
 time the kitchen was robbed of that much 
 daylight. 
 
 James sat on the door-sill idly whittling 
 a piece of kindling and Minerva, temporarily 
 songless, was getting lunch ready. 
 
 "Oh, James," said Ethel after a rapid 
 survey of the situation, "I wish if you 
 haven t anything else to do that you would 
 pile that kindling wood out in the wood 
 shed." 
 
 She told me he burst into his hearty laugh, 
 and, rising with alacrity, he said : 
 
 "Certainly, Mrs. Vernon," and for the 
 next half hour he was busily employed in
 
 A NAKED SCUTTEBEE 115 
 
 undoing what he had done in the half hour 
 before. 
 
 "Oh, it will be easy to find employment 
 for him along those lines," said I when she 
 told me. "We ll just make him do things and 
 undo them and that laugh of his will keep 
 Minerva sweet natured and he ll earn his 
 wages over and over again." 
 
 "Well, it seems sort of wicked to make 
 a human being do unnecessary things just 
 for the sake of making him undo them 
 again," said my mistress of economics. 
 
 "In cases like that the end justifies the 
 means." 
 
 After lunch that day Ethel interrogated 
 Minerva as to her feelings. 
 
 "Oh, Mis. Vernon, James is like human 
 folks to me. He s in a way different from 
 you an Mist. Vernon." 
 
 "Do you mean you think he s better?" 
 said Ethel, more to draw Minerva out than 
 for any other reason. 
 
 "No, but he s more folksy. You an Mist. 
 Vernon, after all s said an done, is white. 
 It ain t dat he s kinder dan you, but he s
 
 more my kind. My, he d be lovely in de 
 city." 
 
 Minerva sighed. 
 
 "Minerva, don t think about the city, 
 you wouldn t have such a chance to sing to 
 gether in the city as you have here. I 
 couldn t get up such a concert as this is going 
 to be in the city, but up here you have just 
 that much more freedom." 
 
 "Minerva," continued Ethel, "You needn t 
 scrub the kitchen floor this afternoon. I 
 want you and James to join a little school 
 that I am going to get up. 
 
 "Never did like school," said Minerva. 
 
 "Well," said Ethel, feeling that she had 
 approached the subject in the wrong way, 
 "I don t mean a school where you have to 
 sit in a stuffy room and do sums on a board 
 and learn to read and write. I mean that we 
 are going out into the woods to learn some 
 thing about the denizens of the woods and 
 fields." 
 
 " Yas m," said Minerva. 
 
 Minerva was an emotional being. There 
 was never any doubt of that. I think it was 
 the next day that Ethel and I were return-
 
 A NAKED SCUTTERER 117 
 
 ing from a walk and we saw James leave the 
 kitchen and go around to the front of the 
 house as if he were looking for some one. 
 
 When he saw us he said: 
 
 "Have you seen Minerva!" 
 
 We told him we had not, but just then we 
 all saw her coming out of the woodshed with 
 a handful of kindlings, her cat, still some 
 what sticky, perched on her shoulder. 
 
 She entered the kitchen and I was just 
 about to ask James a question about the 
 Hurlbert Home when the now familiar shriek 
 ing voice of Minerva came to us through the 
 open kitchen window. 
 
 "Ow, ow, take it away. Ow, I m bitten." 
 
 Ethel, alarmed, started for the house. I, 
 nonplussed, stood still. James burst out 
 laughing. 
 
 A moment later Minerva came running out 
 of the front door, her apron over her head. 
 
 "What is it, Minerva ?" said Ethel, tak 
 ing hold of her and uncovering her face. 
 
 "Ow, Mis. Vernon, dere s der stranges 
 animal in the kitchen. Tain t a dog an it has 
 a mouth like hinges, an I m afraid it ll eat 
 Miss Pussy up."
 
 118 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 "What a child you are, Minerva," said 
 Ethel. " There s no animal there. I m sure 
 of it." 
 
 "Let s see what it is," said I, and turned 
 to speak to James, but he had disappeared. 
 
 I could hear his hearty voice shattering 
 the air with laughter, but I could not see him. 
 
 "Come, we ll go in and see this beast," 
 said I. "Perhaps it s a rat." 
 
 " Deed it ain t a rat. I ain t ago in in. 
 It s scutterin all over de place, an it s stark 
 naked. 
 
 Scuttering all over the place and stark 
 naked. A light burst on me. 
 
 Ethel and I went in hand in hand, because 
 her hand sought mine. I can not say that 
 
 I was afraid. 
 
 \ 
 
 When we reached the sitting room we could 
 hear the scattering together with other 
 noises that were not pleasant, and I realized 
 that to metropolitan Minerva the animal must 
 be very terrifying if, indeed, he proved to be 
 what I thought he was. 
 
 Minerva had evidently slammed the kitchen 
 door after her, for it was shut. 
 
 I opened it and the stark naked scutterer
 
 A NAKED SCUTTERER 119 
 
 turned out to be a little pig not much bigger 
 than Miss Pussy and as pink and nude as 
 Venus rising from the sea. 
 
 The little chap was frantic and he rushed 
 through the dining room into the sitting 
 room and thence to the front porch. 
 
 Minerva had been standing there wringing 
 her hands, with her back to the house. It 
 therefore happened that she did not see the 
 innocent little porker coming. His only idea 
 was to get out of doors and away, but he 
 blundered in doing so, for he ran plump into 
 Minerva, who sat down on him as promptly 
 and then in her agitation she rolled off the 
 front steps to the front path, and the squeal 
 ing piggy, freeing himself from her skirts, 
 ran off down the road. 
 
 "Ow, he s bit me. He s bit me," said 
 Minerva, sitting up in the path and rubbing 
 her knee. 
 
 I am not entirely at home in natural his 
 tory, but I do not think it is the habit of little 
 pigs to bite, and I told Minerva so, but she 
 insisted that she was bitten, and nothing 
 would calm her until Mrs. Ethel took her into
 
 120 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 the kitchen and satisfied her that she had not 
 been bitten at all. 
 
 Minerva s plight had its funny side, and 
 James evidently thought so, for he now came 
 into view and said, 
 
 "She s the most fidgety girl I ever saw. 
 I brought her a present of a little pig and 
 left it in the kitchen for her, and the pig has 
 never been away from its mother before, and 
 it was most as much frightened as Minerva 
 was." 
 
 "What she needs is lessons in natural his 
 tory, James. The other day she mistook a 
 cow for a bear, and the only animals she 
 seems to know are horses and dogs and cats." 
 
 "I guess I ll go get that pig," said James. 
 We could hear the little animal squealing. It 
 was running madly around in the lower lot. 
 
 "I ll help you, James." 
 
 Afterwards I was sorry I had said I would 
 help James. I had never chased a pig be 
 fore, and I did not know they could cover 
 ground so quickly or so unexpectedly. Twice 
 I was bowled over in my efforts to grab the 
 slippery beast, and by the time that he was 
 caught I was winded and perspiring.
 
 A NAKED SCUTTERER 121 
 
 "I ll take it into the kitchen and show it 
 to Minerva and tell her how it happened," 
 said James. 
 
 "Yes, do," said I. "The only way to get 
 her broken to pigs is to show her that they 
 do not intend any harm." 
 
 We went into the kitchen and found her 
 laughing hysterically, while Ethel was pick 
 ing up pieces of crockery that decorated the 
 floor. It seems that the lunch dishes were 
 piled up preparatory to washing them and 
 piggy had run against the leg of the table 
 and dislodged them with destructive effect. 
 
 James entered the kitchen, holding the pig 
 clasped to his ample chest. 
 
 "There, Minerva, you see the animal is 
 perfectly harmless." 
 
 "My, my, I never did see such a mouth," 
 said she. 
 
 Ethel does not like to touch strange ani 
 mals, but she wished to show Minerva how 
 perfectly innocuous this little piggy was, and 
 so she stroked its pink little snout and the 
 next instant the little fellow had her finger 
 in its mouth and sucked it as if it were a stick 
 of candy.
 
 122 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 This at first frightened Minerva and it did 
 not please my fastidious wife, but for the 
 sake of the object lesson she said : 
 
 "Now, you see, Minerva, this pig is even 
 more harmless than a cat, for a cat has claws 
 and this pig has only " 
 
 Alas, for Ethel. The pig showed what it 
 could do by inserting its pearly teeth in her 
 finger. 
 
 She snatched her hand away in a moment, 
 but Minerva s confidence in pigs had been so 
 lessened that we told James that he would 
 better take his gift elsewhere. 
 
 For my part I was not sorry to see the 
 shiny little creature go. Pigs have never 
 appealed to me as household pets. My ar 
 cestors came from England.
 
 CHAPTEE X. 
 
 WE PLAN A CONCERT. 
 
 IT was the day after we had given up that 
 particular spot in the woods as a tryst- 
 ing place and we were all driving to the 
 village in Bert s wagon. 
 
 We were going for two reasons ; Ethel in 
 tended buying Minerva a new dress (for out 
 doors), and I was going to find out something 
 about the concert which I proposed giving. 
 
 Ethel and I took turns in driving, while 
 James and Minerva sat on the back seat. 
 
 Great billows of clouds lapped the shores 
 of blue above us and cast huge shadows on 
 the hillside; shadows that moving changed 
 the entire aspect of the places over which 
 they passed. 
 
 Bobolinks launched themselves and their 
 songs at the same time and gave to the day 
 a quality that no other songster is ever able 
 
 123
 
 to impart. It was a morning to inspire hap 
 piness. 
 
 "What a heavenly country this is," said 
 Ethel; "I d like to live here until the leaves 
 color." 
 
 "I dare say it would be nice here in the 
 winter time, too." 
 
 "Oof!" shuddered Ethel. "Pretty but 
 dreadful. How can anyone keep warm in the 
 country in the wintertime?" 
 
 Her remark had been heard by Minerva, 
 and she said to James : 
 
 "Do folks leave here in winter?" 
 
 "No, indeed," said James. "Winter s the 
 best time of the year up here. I jus like 
 the cold. Coastin from here to the village, 
 a mile and a half. Everybody does it. And 
 skating! Umm. You ought to stay up here 
 in winter." 
 
 "Oh, lawdy, if it s so sad in the summer 
 I d die in the winter. Don t the wind howl 
 like a dog?" 
 
 "Like a thousand dogs, but I like it. You 
 come up here an visit my old mother in the 
 winter, an I ll teach you to skate and you ll 
 never want to go back."
 
 WE PLAN A CONCERT 125 
 
 "Imagine Minerva here in winter," whis 
 pered Ethel to me. "Poor thing. She 
 would die of the horrors. But, do you think 
 she is more contented?" 
 
 * I certainly do. She is going to have new 
 clothes Is that a sheep?" 
 
 It turned out to be a rock. "There are 
 no sheep around here," said Ethel. " Bert 
 said so." 
 
 * I wonder if Minerva would be frightened 
 at sheep?" 
 
 "She might be. The most peaceful ani 
 mals aren t always the most peaceful look 
 ing. I think a cow is much more diabolical 
 than a lion as far as looks go. A lion is kind 
 of benign and I dare say that a lion that has 
 just eaten a man looks sleepy and contented 
 and good-natured as he licks his chops." 
 
 "I think the most dreadful looking beast 
 in the whole menagerie is the goat, although, 
 come to think of it, he is more likely to be 
 found in the back yard than in the menagerie, 
 and I dare say that Minerva knows him like 
 a book. Yes, he has the devil beaten to a 
 pulp, as Harry Banks would say, and yet he 
 never has the bad manners to spit like the
 
 126 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 what was that beautiful beast that spit in the 
 face of that pompous little man down at 
 Dreamland?" 
 
 "Oh, you mean the llama. Wasn t that 
 funny? And he did look so innocent. And 
 now that spitting is a misdemeanor and the 
 practice is going out, I suppose the llama 
 will steadily increase in value " 
 
 "Do you mind if we sing. Mr. Vernon?" 
 said James, respectfully. 
 
 I thought a minute. If James had been 
 driving and Minerva was by his side on the 
 front seat it would have been perfectly nat 
 ural for Ethel and me to break out into song 
 on such a perfect day in such a lonely place. 
 
 As the conditions were reversed ; as I was 
 driving and James and Minerva were on the 
 back seat, it seemed to me perfectly proper 
 that they should be the ones to break out into 
 roundelays, and I told them to break out 
 couching the permission in other language. 
 
 They began, after a whispered consulta 
 tion, and the song which they sang was as 
 follows :
 
 WE PLAN A CONCERT 127 
 
 "Ma-ah ol missus said to me 
 
 (Gwan to git a-horne bime by) 
 Whe-en she died she d set me free 
 
 (Gwan to git a-home biine by) 
 
 Oh dat watermiyun 
 
 (Lamb er goodness you must die) 
 I se gwan fer to jine de cont aban chillun 
 
 (Gwan ter git a-home bime by). 
 
 "Whe-en she died she died so po 
 (Gwan ter git a-home bime by). 
 
 She lef me wuss n I was befo 
 (Gwan ter git a-home bime by). 
 
 They had started the chorus of the second 
 verse, throwing themselves into it with all 
 the abandon of bobolinks black bobolinks 
 when we came to a turn in the road and 
 heard a clatter of hoofs and a smart turn 
 out belonging to summer people from Eger- 
 ton drove by. 
 
 I recognized in the ladies who were lean 
 ing languidly back on the cushioned seats 
 two New Yorkers whom we met at a tea last 
 winter and who seemed to take an interest in 
 Ethel, so much so that I told her at the time
 
 128 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 that if she had had any social ambitions I 
 was sure that here were stepping stones. 
 
 But I am quite sure that the stepping 
 stones marveled greatly at the spectacle and 
 the sounds we presented. Driving a chorus 
 out. We looked back after we had passed 
 and found that they were rude enough to be 
 looking at us. 
 
 "Do you care, Ethel?" 
 
 Well, I wish they had been some one else. 
 It must have looked silly." 
 
 "Not at all. It looks perfectly business 
 like. Or it will look so later. When Mrs. 
 Guernsea and her daughter see the announce 
 ments of the concert they will realize that 
 we were doing a little preliminary advertis 
 ing to whet the appetites of the populace. 
 They will come to the concert. Mark my 
 words." 
 
 As we were now within sight of the houses 
 of the village, I told James that I guessed 
 we d better postpone further melody until 
 our return, as we might be taken for a circus, 
 rather than a concert, and the rest of the way 
 was made in silence. 
 
 While Ethel was buying clothes for Mi-
 
 WE PLAN A CONCERT 129 
 
 nerva, I, by the advice of James, sought out 
 Deacon Fotherby of the Second Congrega 
 tional Church. 
 
 He presided over the destinies of a shoe- 
 store, and when I went in he was trying to 
 force a number eight shoe on a number nine 
 foot of a Cinderella of uncertain age, whose 
 face was red from his exertions. 
 
 I waited patiently about until the good 
 deacon got a larger shoe, called it a number 
 seven (may the recording angel pardon him) 
 and slipped it on the foot of Cinderella, who 
 departed simpering. 
 
 He came up to me in a business-like way. 
 
 "Is this Deacon Fotherby ?" 
 
 "My name is Fotherby, but I sell shoes 
 week days." 
 
 "Well, Mr. Fotherby, I don t want to buy 
 any shoes to-day, but I do want to know 
 whether you are interested in the Hurlbert 
 Home." 
 
 The deacon s manner underwent a remark 
 able change. Up to that time he had been 
 the attentive salesman. Now his face soft 
 ened, he motioned me to a seat and sat down 
 beside me.
 
 130 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 "Interested? I m wrapped up in it. 
 What do you want! To help it or be helped 
 by it?" 
 
 "Both in a way," said I, as I thought of 
 what the concert was going to accomplish 
 for me. 
 
 "I am in a position to give a concert of 
 negro melodies for the benefit of your home. 
 I control in a measure two colored per 
 sons who have fine voices, and it occurred 
 to me that the villagers and perhaps the sum 
 mer people would attend a concert given in 
 your church. 
 
 "Yes, they would," said he, rubbing his 
 hands. "And we could provide some attrac 
 tions out of our own ranks. There s a male 
 quartette in the Sunday-school " 
 
 "White? said I. 
 
 "Why, certainly," said he. 
 
 "Well, I m a person entirely devoid of race 
 prejudice, but you must remember that this 
 is New England, Massachusetts in fact, and 
 if we wish to make a success of this concert 
 we must not mix the two races. I see no 
 reason personally why your white quartette 
 should not sing on the same stage with our
 
 WE PLAN A CONCERT 131 
 
 colored singers, if they sing as well, but I 
 am quite sure that the public would not pat 
 ronize the concert if we advertised it as a 
 mixed affair." 
 
 The good deacon rose from his seat and 
 said, "Why, my dear sir, I consider that a 
 colored man has just as white a soul as a 
 white man." 
 
 I also rose and told him that I could not 
 swear as to the color of any soul; that souls 
 might be a delicate pink for all I personally 
 knew to the contrary. I also told him that 
 I would not object to attending a concert of 
 beautiful voices that came out of white and 
 black throats (I was not flippant enough to 
 say that all throats were red) but that I knew 
 my fellow Yankees too well to think that they 
 would care to come to a concert where whites 
 and blacks sang on the same stage. 
 
 "It might go in the South," said I, "where 
 their ideas about such things are different 
 from ours, but up here if you want our col 
 ored concert to be a success you must let all 
 the singing be done by colored folks and all 
 the hearing be done by white." 
 
 At this point the talk drifted to the negro
 
 132 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 question and what a problem it was getting 
 to be and I found that we thought alike on 
 most points, and I finally made him under 
 stand that I was acting from diplomatic mo 
 tives entirely, and because I understood the 
 temper of the New Englanders so well. 
 
 "Remember that it was in a town in Con 
 necticut," said I, "that a colored man was 
 ejected from a white man s restaurant, and it 
 is in New England that little colored children 
 have a hard time at school, because they are 
 black, and for no other reason. Being in 
 New England, the country of liberty, you 
 must give me the liberty of arranging my 
 concert so that it shall be a success, and 
 therefore (I smiled) there must be no mix 
 ture of races on the stage." 
 
 We decided that the early part of Septem 
 ber would be a good time to give it, as the 
 haying would by that time have been done 
 and we could count on a larger audience. 
 
 On the way home James told me that he 
 had a brother and a little sister, who could 
 be brought into the concert, and that with 
 them he could furnish some very nice quar 
 tettes.
 
 WE PLAN A CONCERT 133 
 
 Ethel looked at me meaningly, and said, 
 
 1 Minerva might go there and practise. 
 Do they live at your mother s?" 
 
 "Yes, ma am." 
 
 I realized that it would be better for them 
 to practise at his house than at ours, because, 
 while the practice of music makes perfect, it 
 sometimes also makes maniacs.
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 THE HOESE IN THE KITCHEN. 
 
 TV TOW, I ll tell Mis. Vernon, if you do 
 .1.^1 dem tricks. Stop." 
 
 "Why, he s perfectly harmless, 
 Minerva. Look, I m holding him." 
 
 "Don you let him get at me. Mah good 
 ness, he has a head like a horse. Ooh, 
 Lawdy, where s he gone?" 
 
 It was raining and Ethel and I were in the 
 sitting room when we heard these loud words 
 and then Minerva burst into the room. 
 
 She had her skirts held at a height that 
 would have been all right for ballet dancing, 
 but Minerva is not a ballet dancer and Ethel 
 bade her remember herself. 
 
 Now it seemed to me that that was exactly 
 what she was doing. Fright is memory of 
 self as nearly as I can make out, and Minerva 
 was evidently frightened at a new animal that 
 "looked like a horse." 
 
 134
 
 THE HORSE IN THE KITCHEN 135 
 
 I had a mental picture of a pony that James 
 had smuggled into the kitchen and then I re 
 membered that New York was not a stranger 
 to ponies and that perhaps in her childhood 
 Minerva might have ridden a pony in Cen 
 tral Park or at Coney Island. No, it must 
 be some other beast. 
 
 "What is the matter. Don t you see that 
 Mr. Vernon is reading to me?" 
 
 "But it jumped at me!" 
 
 "What jumped at you?" said I sternly. 
 If there is anything that I dislike it is to be 
 interrupted when I am reading. If inter 
 ruptions ever came in the midst of prosy 
 descriptions I would not mind it at all. I 
 could even stand it in the midst of a digres 
 sion (like the present one), but interrupters 
 have the uncanny knack of timing their 
 breaks so that just as the author has led up 
 to a brilliant mot and the moment is psycho 
 logically perfect, they say their little say 
 and when the reading is resumed the humour 
 or the wit of the sentence has evaporated. 
 
 James now appeared in the doorway. 
 
 "What jumped at Minerva, James?" 
 
 "It was on y a grasshopper, sir. Never
 
 136 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 saw anyone afraid of a grasshopper before. 
 "Why, Minerva!" said Ethel. "You said 
 it looked like a horse. 
 
 James, with a chuckle, stooped and picked 
 something from the floor. It bent its legs 
 for a spring as he put his hand down and 
 again Minerva screamed. It leaped with a 
 thud against his palm and he held it between 
 thumb and forefinger and said, 
 "She s right. It does look like a horse. " 
 I had never noticed the resemblance be 
 fore, but there was no gainsaying it, once our 
 attention had been called to it. I imagine 
 that if the head were increased to horse size 
 and the body and legs were in proportion, it 
 would be a more formidable looking beast 
 than the hyena. And if a hyena were re 
 duced to grasshopper size he would be as 
 "cute" as a caterpillar. 
 
 "Minerva," said Ethel, "sit down. You 
 may go, James. I wish you would not scare 
 Minerva. 
 
 "Never thought she d scare so easy, Mrs. 
 Vernon, " said he respectfully. He was al 
 ways respectful. He went out into the wood 
 shed to split some kindlings. He had already
 
 THE HORSE IN THE KITCHEN 137 
 
 split enough to last us all of a winter, but it 
 was healthful exercise and I kept him. at it 
 when he was not singing or mowing the lawn. 
 
 "Minerva, I don t suppose that there is a 
 more harmless insect in the world than a 
 grasshopper," said Ethel. 
 
 "What are they for?" said Minerva. 
 
 "Why er," said Ethel, while I held my 
 book up before my face discreetly. 
 
 "Why, they are to hop in the grass." 
 
 "Oh," said Minerva. 
 
 "Yes, they can hop many times the length 
 of their own bodies." 
 
 "Oh," said Minerva. 
 
 Ethel made a mental calculation. 
 
 "I should say, Minerva," said she, "that 
 a grasshopper can hop about one hundred 
 and twenty times his own length. How tall 
 are you?" 
 
 "I m five feet three," was her unexpected 
 answer. 
 
 "Well, call it five feet," said Ethel, with 
 a very serious face. "If you had the power 
 of a grasshopper you could hop six hundred 
 feet. That is to say, you could hop a long 
 city block."
 
 138 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 The idea of Minerva hopping from Seventh 
 Avenue to Eighth (for instance) was too 
 much for me and I began to cough so hard 
 that I had to go up stairs for a trochee. 
 
 When I came down Ethel was saying, 
 
 " You ve heard the noises in the grass, 
 haven t you?" 
 
 " Deed I have," said Minerva, dismally. 
 
 "Did you know that the grasshoppers make 
 a great deal of that noise?" 
 
 "No m," said Minerva, her mouth wide 
 open. 
 
 "They do. And how do you suppose they; 
 do it?" 
 
 "They blow, I suppose." 
 
 "No, they don t blow. Do they, Philip?" 
 
 "No, very few grasshoppers can blow. 
 They can blow away, but they make that 
 noise by er why, they make that noise - 
 
 The words of a college song came into my 
 head, "I can play the fiddle with my left 
 hind leg." 
 
 "They make fiddles of themselves and 
 play, Minerva. 
 
 Minerva looked at me seriously. 
 
 "That s it, Minerva," said Ethel eagerly.
 
 THE HORSE IN THE KITCHEN 139 
 
 "They scrape their wings in some way and 
 that makes the sound. You don t know how 
 many things there are to learn about the 
 country and, Minerva, it isn t half as dan 
 gerous as the city. To-morrow if it is pleas 
 ant, we ll go out and try to catch a grass 
 hopper playing his little fiddle. You may 
 go, now, Minerva." 
 
 Minerva went out and closed the kitchen 
 door and the next minute the house shook. 
 I thought of the powder mills at Mildon. 
 Again the house shook. 
 
 "It is Minerva hopping," said Ethel. 
 
 "Pretty close to six hundred feet, from 
 the sound," said I.
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 THE SIMPLE LIFE. 
 
 I HAD strung up a hammock between two 
 trees in front of the house and days 
 when Ethel did not feel like walking 
 she used to lie in it while I sat by her side and 
 read to her. She would have been glad to 
 read to me some times, but if there is any 
 thing I dislike it is to be read to. I can never 
 follow what is being said unless I have a book 
 in front of me, and besides as I cannot knit 
 and do not know how to draw it would be 
 time wasted for me to sit still and listen to 
 reading. 
 
 We are so built, the most of us, that we 
 consider we are wasting time unless our 
 hands are moving. If a woman sits with her 
 hands in her lap thinking great thoughts she 
 is manifestly idle. But if she sits embroid 
 ering tasteless doilies and thinking of noth 
 ing, she has found something for her hands 
 
 140
 
 "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 141 
 
 to do and Satan is foiled again. How often 
 he is foiled these days. 
 
 As I say, I do dislike to be read to, so while 
 Ethel sits and crochets or knits or does fancy 
 sewing, I sit by her side and read, and it is a 
 very pleasant way of passing the time. Her 
 embroidery is worth while, and I think there 
 is to be found no such practice in language 
 as reading aloud. 
 
 I recommend it to all lispers and persons 
 with uncertain pronunciations. 
 
 While we were reading who should drive 
 up but the Guernseas, the people who had 
 heard our open air concert. 
 
 I saw they were about to stop, so I laid 
 down my book and went out to greet them. 
 
 "Won t you come into the house?" said 
 I, and Ethel rising, seconded the invitation. 
 
 "Thank you, no it is such a lovely day 
 we ll sit here. John, you may come back in 
 twenty minutes." 
 
 John was their very elegant driver, and 
 after hitching the horses to the stone post, he 
 touched his hat and walked away. 
 
 Ethel and I stood by the carriage and 
 passed the commonplaces of the day for a
 
 142 MINERVA S MANCEUVKES 
 
 minute or two and then the absurdity of the 
 situation dawned on me. Here were our two 
 distinguished friends doing us the honour of 
 calling on us, and they were sitting in the 
 most comfortable seats in a very ornate car 
 riage, while my good wife and I stood at their 
 feet as it were and received their call. I pre 
 fer sitting at people s feet, after the manner 
 of the Jews of old, so I went into the house 
 and brought out two dingy hair-cloth chairs, 
 much to Ethel s mortification, and we sat 
 down on them. 
 
 So sitting we were not more than abreast 
 of the floor of the carriage, and we addressed 
 all our remarks to those above who evidently 
 had no sense of humour, for they never 
 smiled at the situation once. 
 
 "We want to know," said Mrs. Guernsea, 
 languidly, "whether you are living this sim 
 ple life that Charles Wagner preaches." 
 
 "I haven t read his book, but our life is 
 simple. I think we are both very simple. 
 
 I looked at Ethel and she and I looked up 
 to the perches above us, and I know that she 
 was thinking that we were very simple to 
 allow a thing of this kind to happen, instead
 
 "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 143 
 
 of insisting that our grand visitors come at 
 least to the verandah and meet us upon an 
 equal footing. 
 
 "Caroline, they are leading the simple 
 life. Fancy ! Was that why you went driv 
 ing with those colored people yesterday?" 
 
 Ethel started to tell the facts in the case, 
 but I rudely interrupted and said, 
 
 "Mrs. Guernsea, in the simple life all men 
 are equal, but in real life there are many in 
 equalities. The woman you saw on the back 
 seat was Minerva, our estimable cook, while 
 the man was James, our man-of-all-play. " 
 
 I pronounced his title quickly and she did 
 not notice the variation. 
 
 "This is the land of the free and theo 
 retically all men are free and equal. As a 
 matter of fact, all men are not so, but up here 
 while we lead the simple life we try to make 
 those with whom we come in contact believe 
 that they are so. You met us yesterday, and 
 yesterday I was driving Minerva and James 
 out. Had you met us to-day, James would 
 have been driving Mrs. Vernon and me out. 
 
 Both Mrs. Guernsea and her lackadaisical 
 daughter accepted what I had to say in the
 
 spirit in which I wished them to accept it; 
 as a truth of the simple life, and it was so 
 different from their own lives that for the 
 nonce it interested them to hear about it. 
 Therefore, despite Ethel s reproving brow- 
 liftings, I went on. 
 
 "In our life here in this cottage Minerva 
 does all the cooking, because she is the best 
 cook of the four, just as I do all the reading 
 aloud, because I am the best reader ; and Mrs. 
 Vernon does all the embroidery, because she 
 is the best embroiderer; and James well, 
 we have not yet found what James can do 
 best, but there is one thing his spirits are 
 never depressed and he heartens us all. * 
 
 "How curious. And do you believe that 
 such a state of things would be possible in a 
 more complex life, in New York, for in 
 stance?" 
 
 "Mrs. Guernsea, have you ever tried hav 
 ing Mr. Guernsea take your men and your 
 maids out driving in the Park?" 
 
 "Why, no!" 
 
 Try it, when you go back, said I. They 
 will be pleased beyond any doubt."
 
 "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 145 
 
 1 But your servants were singing. Did not 
 that annoy you!" 
 
 "My dear Mrs. Guernsea, it is one of the 
 first principles of the simple life not to be 
 annoyed. Didn t you think their voices 
 sweet ? 
 
 "Yes, but it seemed so so unconvention 
 al." 
 
 "The simple lifers/ said I, "abhor con 
 ventions that already exist. They aim to cre 
 ate new conventions and live up to them. 
 We felt the need of song. Neither Mrs. Ver- 
 non nor myself can sing very acceptably. 
 Both Minerva and James are blessed with de 
 lightful voices, so they sang for us without 
 a word of demurring." 
 
 "Would they sing now, do you suppose? 
 It was really very lovely." 
 
 "I have no doubt. I ll go and ask them. 
 But" 
 
 I hesitated. The precious old humbug, so 
 devoid of humour, was condescending toward 
 the simple life during a single ennuied after 
 noon. I wondered if I could make her become 
 a disciple of it for a few short moments; 
 hence my hesitation. I resolved to risk it,
 
 146 MINES VA 8 MANCEUVKES 
 
 and with an elevation of my eyebrows di 
 rected at Ethel which meant "Keep out," 
 I said: 
 
 "In the simple life anything like conde 
 scension jars. If Minerva and James con 
 sent to sing I must ask that they be allowed 
 to sit in the carriage and that you make one 
 of us on the ground. I will get chairs." 
 
 1 Oh, no, we will stand. 
 
 And the daughter said languidly, ""We 
 sometimes drive over to the country fairs, 
 and it is awfully jolly to stand alongside the 
 carriage and watch the races. We have done 
 it on the other side, too." 
 
 * Oh, I know they always do it there, said 
 I, with enthusiasm. "Many s the picture 
 I ve seen of it." 
 
 I went in and found Minerva ironing, while 
 James was blacking the stove. 
 
 "Will you please tidy yourselves up a bit 
 and come out and sing for two of our 
 friends?" said I. "They are influential city 
 people, and they may not be able to attend 
 the concert. You re to sit in their carriage 
 and sing." 
 
 They were, of course, delighted, being two
 
 "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 147 
 
 children, and I left them tidying up, and hur 
 ried back. 
 
 Ethel had gone into the house for some 
 thing, but she soon came out with a bowl of 
 blue berries and two napkins. 
 
 ""Will you help yourselves!" said she. 
 
 Mrs Guernsea looked at her daughter, and 
 her daughter looked at Mrs. Guernsea. They 
 were too well bred to suggest that anything 
 was missing, but they were evidently thinking 
 of saucers and spoons. I came to the rescue, 
 knowing that Ethel had entered into my mad 
 ness. 
 
 More simple life, but you don t have to 
 do it. Still, berries never taste so luscious 
 as when eaten from the hand." 
 
 I held the bowl solemnly before them, they 
 removed their gloves, ate dainty mouth- 
 fuls of berries, and their delight in the flavour 
 was very real. 
 
 "Oh, I wish that it were possible to do this 
 at home." 
 
 I bowed. "It needs only for Mrs. Guern 
 sea to do it to make it possible everywhere." 
 
 While they were eating Minerva and 
 James came out, and if Minerva was not
 
 148 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 the best looking woman there, James was the 
 best looking man by all odds. I was proud 
 of their appearance. 
 
 I was a little afraid that the Guernseas 
 would show a certain amount of liauteur, but 
 they were evidently trying to enter into the 
 simple life, and would obey all its rules for 
 the nonce. It was a break in their sadly 
 monotonous lives. 
 
 " Minerva and James, these are Mrs. 
 Guernsea and her daughter, Miss Guernsea, 
 and they wish you to sing some of your 
 songs." 
 
 Both Mrs. Guernsea and the daughter 
 smiled very seriously, and I helped them to 
 alight from the carriage. 
 
 They took their stand on the green sward, 
 and as I would not have felt comfortable to 
 remain seated with them standing, I left my 
 seat, and so Ethel was the only one who had 
 a seat at the concert. 
 
 After a little self conscious giggling on 
 Minerva s part, a giggling that James repri 
 manded with native dignity, the pair began 
 "Steal Away." 
 
 The richly caparisoned horses, to employ
 
 "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 149 
 
 a term that has been faithful to writers these 
 many years, the beautiful Victoria, hand 
 somely japanned, the earnest songsters lean 
 ing back on the cushions and singing the 
 plaintive song, while the fashionable Guern- 
 seas stood and drank it all in, formed a pic 
 ture as unusual as it was pleasing to me. 
 
 Midway in the second verse, even as the 
 Guernseas had surprised us the day before, 
 so to-day the pastor of the Second Congrega 
 tional Church surprised us to-day by driving 
 past in his buggy, accompanied by his wife. 
 
 I think he had meant to stop, but when he 
 saw what was going on, he simply opened his 
 mouth ; his good wife opened her mouth, and 
 I think the horse opened its mouth, and they 
 drove by. 
 
 They had seen the simple life being lived 
 by six persons. 
 
 James and Minerva were ready for an en 
 core, but it did not occur to either Mrs. 
 Guernsea or her daughter to applaud. They 
 contented themselves by saying it was very 
 charming. 
 
 But I felt that the labourers were worthy of 
 their hire, and still thinking of the simple life
 
 150 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 and equality, I said to Mrs. Guernsea, in the 
 most matter of course way: 
 
 "I wonder if you wouldn t let James take 
 Minerva out for a short drive in return for 
 their singing? James is an expert driver." 
 
 Mrs. Guernsea was not at all hard, and 
 besides, I believe that she was in a way hyp 
 notised; so with scarce a moment s hesitation 
 she said: 
 
 "Why, certainly. You won t be gone long, 
 I suppose?" 
 
 "Oh, no ma am. We ll just drive around 
 the square." 
 
 The "square" was a stretch of country 
 road some two miles in length. 
 
 James unhitched the horses and mounted 
 the driver s seat, but Minerva sprawled lux 
 uriously in the seat in which she had sung. 
 James tightened the reins and the horses 
 started off at what is called a spanking pace 
 by those who know. 
 
 What happened thereafter was told me in 
 part by James, and I will give the substance 
 of it. 
 
 It seems that he had not gone very far 
 when he met John, the driver.
 
 "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 151 
 
 Naturally enough, when John saw his mis 
 tress s horses coming toward him at a pace 
 considerably above that indulged in by him 
 self (when he was driving for her), he was 
 at first dumbfounded and then angered. To 
 him what had occurred was as plain as the 
 nose on his face. Mrs. Guernsea had been 
 asked into the house by us, and this impudent 
 scamp had seized the opportunity to take his 
 girl out for a ride. 
 
 "Here, stop. Get out of that!" he yelled. 
 
 James replied by some piece of imperti 
 nence that served to increase the coachman s 
 anger, and picking up a stone he let drive 
 at James, but hit the flank of the nigh horse 
 instead. He, feeling the unwonted sting, 
 plunged forward, communicated his fear to 
 his mate, and the two horses began to run 
 away. 
 
 We at the house heard Minerva s familiar 
 screams, but I set it down to a new animal 
 that had come to her ken, as I knew that 
 James was a capable driver. 
 
 As for Mrs. Guernsea, she was telling us 
 something about the evening that the EnglisH 
 primate took dinner at her house on Madison;
 
 152 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 Avenue, and she did not notice Minerva s 
 cries. 
 
 James had been familiar with horses from 
 his boyhood, and he would have brought the 
 pair under his control before long, but John 
 was a man of action, and when he saw the 
 horses start on a mad run, and also saw a boy 
 (Bert, in fact,) riding horseback, he yelled to 
 him : Lend me that horse, boy. My team is 
 being stolen." 
 
 Bert, having just passed the run-a-way, 
 jumped quickly from his mount and John 
 took his place and turning the horse, dashed 
 after James. 
 
 The run-a-ways, hearing the clatter of 
 hoofs behind them, ran the harder and Mi 
 nerva s screams steadily increased in pitch 
 and volume. 
 
 At the first turn James guided the horses 
 to the left and calculated that before the two 
 miles were made they would be winded, for 
 their gait was tremendous. 
 
 As John made the turn, crying "Stop 
 thief" at the top of his lungs, he passed the 
 minister who had just passed us and who was
 
 "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 153 
 
 going back to our house for as it turned out, 
 he wished to see me. 
 
 He heard the hue and cry, and bidding his 
 wife get out of the carriage and wait for him, 
 he whipped up and started in pursuit. 
 
 And Bert, deprived of his horse, but un 
 willing to be deprived of so much excitement 
 cut across lots, that he might see the race on 
 its last quarter. This much I afterward 
 learned from him. 
 
 Through it all James never lost command 
 of the horses, nor Minerva of her voice. Her 
 view halloo echoed over woodland and vale, 
 and came to me from different points of the 
 compass, and I began to feel that something 
 serious was the matter, and now and again 
 I had visions of bills for the repair of a 
 carriage. 
 
 When they reached the last quarter I could 
 distinctly hear the "Stop thiefs!" of two 
 voices, and so did Ethel, but both Mrs. Guern- 
 sea and her daughter were of those people 
 who can attend to but one thing at a time, 
 and they were busily engaged in talking, the 
 mother to me and the daughter to Ethel. 
 
 The way in front of our house is level and
 
 154 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 commands a view of the country for a con 
 siderable distance, and when James started 
 on his last quarter, and had attained a steep 
 hill, from where I sat (for I had insisted on 
 bringing out chairs for us all) I could see 
 Mrs. Guernsea s delicately made carriage 
 swinging from side to side of the road, James 
 sitting erect, his wrists tight against his chest 
 and Minerva letting out warwhoops on the 
 back seat. 
 
 Nearer and nearer they came, and at last 
 Mrs. Guernsea heard the commotion and, put 
 ting up her lorgnon gazed in the direction 
 from which the sound came. 
 
 Why he is going too fast ! said she. He 
 will lather the horses." 
 
 I felt quite sure that the lathering had al 
 ready been well done, but I did not say so. 
 
 "I m afraid they are running away," said 
 I. 
 
 "No," said Miss Guernsea, rising to her 
 feet and using her own eyes, * He is running 
 away with them. He is being chased. Hear 
 that? Stop thief! " 
 
 Across the swampy land in front of our 
 house I saw the running figure of a boy. He
 
 "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 155 
 
 climbed the stone wall that edges the road, 
 and panting violently rushed up to us. 
 
 It was Bert. "Try to head him off," said 
 he. "He s trying to steal that turn-out." 
 
 I did not believe it, even then. When I put 
 my confidence in a man I don t like to have 
 it disturbed, and I won t disturb it myself 
 as long as there is a shadow of a chance to 
 preserve it. The horses were running away, 
 but it was not James fault. I was sure of 
 that. 
 
 A minute later the form of a man on horse 
 back was seen cresting the hill, and after a 
 longer interval the minister s buggy topped 
 the same crest. 
 
 The last turn in the road is a few rods 
 north of our house, and James guided the 
 horses skilfully round that turn and stopped 
 them in front of our house. This was partly 
 because Minerva, having fainted, was no 
 longer screaming, and partly because John s 
 horse had stumbled and thrown him. And 
 the minister came in second, his horse pant 
 ing. 
 
 "James," said I indignantly, "what do you 
 mean by driving those horses at such a gait?"
 
 156 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 James, when the horses had stopped, had 
 sprung from the seat and was now at their 
 heads talking in a low voice to them and pat 
 ting them in order to calm them. 
 
 Minerva came to herself, said * Oh Lawdy ! 
 Are we back again, already?" and climbed 
 ungracefully out of the carriage. 
 
 The horses were white with lather, their 
 tongues lolling out of their mouths; and the 
 wagon was sadly scratched. It was a morti 
 fying moment for a liver of the simple life. 
 
 "James, what happened?" said I, sternly. 
 
 And then John came limping up, with a 
 flesh wound on his forehead and shaking his 
 fist at James, and with his cockaded hat in 
 his hand said to Mrs. Guernsea, "I met him 
 trying to run away with the horses ma am, 
 and I tried to stop him. The cheek of him, 
 ma am ! 
 
 James gave a contemptuous grunt, and 
 leaving the horses, who had calmed down 
 wonderfully under his ministrations, he 
 pointed to a cut on the flank of the nigh horse. 
 
 "That s what started the trouble, 
 madam," said he, "and it was your driver 
 that threw the stone."
 
 "THE SIMPLE LIFE" 157 
 
 I will say for Mrs. Guernsea, that she be 
 haved like a thoroughbred. She was evi 
 dently a woman who reasoned things out, and 
 she knew something of the principles of the 
 simple life, for she said : 
 
 "Everybody meant well, I ve no doubt, and 
 the thing is all over now." 
 
 John was blanketing the sweating horses. 
 
 "Don t let it worry you an instant, Mr. 
 Vernon, said she. It was all an accident. 
 
 I tried to get them to come indoors and 
 take some refreshment, for the last few mo 
 ments had been more strenuous than simple, 
 but they decided that it was better for the 
 horses to exercise them a little more and so 
 they drove slowly home, and Bert went after 
 his horse which had not hurt itself, and the 
 minister went on to pick up his wife whom he 
 had left at the first turn. 
 
 "And it was really all your fault," said 
 Ethel, smilingly, after James and Minerva 
 had departed to the kitchen. 
 
 "Well, it gave Minerva something to think 
 about and made life worth living for the 
 Guernseas.
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 AN UNSUCCESSFUL, FIASCO. 
 
 I am not quite sure whether I have spoken 
 of it but by profession, trade, occupation, I 
 am a writer. I write short stories under an 
 assumed name and therefore the telling of the 
 events of the summer is in a manner easy for 
 me. 
 
 But I not only write stories ; I also at times 
 read stories, and I have been known to recite 
 not in an impassioned way but merely fool 
 ishly. The previous winter had been a hard 
 one in more ways than one for both Ethel and 
 myself, but toward the close of it the winning 
 of a prize in a story competition had given me 
 enough money to enable me to knock off work 
 for all summer, and it had seemed wise to 
 take advantage of such a chance to rest and 
 lie fallow. 
 
 I did not mention my occupation at the 
 start because I was afraid that readers would 
 
 158
 
 AN UNSUCCESSFUL MASCO 159 
 
 say, "Oh, dear, this is a story by a literary 
 man, and nothing will happen in it. You see 
 now-a-days when men in all walks of life 
 write of what they have done, and make books 
 of their writings, the people who read books 
 have gotten to the point when they look with 
 suspicion on a story that is written by a mere 
 professional writer. They say, "Oh, he has 
 done nothing but write. Let us read the book 
 of the man who has first done and has then 
 written. 
 
 But you who have read thus far may feel 
 in a way friendly to Minerva, and the rest, 
 and so I take you into my confidence and 
 make the pun to you that won for me a rebuke 
 from Ethel. Letters spell livelihood for me. 
 
 The Congregational Minister, Egbert 
 Hughson, and his wife returned to us in a few 
 minutes and after the moving accident had 
 been discussed for a certain length of time, he 
 came to the matter that had brought him up. 
 
 He was a smooth shaven alert, Western 
 man of about thirty, I should say, and I 
 marked him out as a type of the modern mus 
 cular Christian, and this guess proved to 
 have been correct. He was an lowan who
 
 160 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 had come East to study, had graduated from 
 Williams and after a year in a small Iowa 
 church had been called to Egerton through 
 the good offices of a former class-mate. 
 
 I hope I may not be accused of egotism if I 
 set down plainly what Mr. Hughson said. 
 The denouement is not what an egotist would 
 roll under his tongue. During the narration 
 of the episode let me treat Philip Vernon 
 quite as if he did not press the keys with 
 which I am writing this. 
 
 * Mr. Vernon, I did not know until Deacon 
 Fotherby told me, that we had so distin 
 guished a man amongst us. I have read your 
 sketches in the Antarctic Monthly with a 
 great deal of pleasure, and although you use 
 a pen name, still I happened to know that you 
 were the author. I also understand that you 
 sometimes recite." 
 
 I bowed assent. I could have told him. the 
 rest. He was going to say: "Now the Y. P. 
 S. C. E. are about to give a little literary 
 entertainment for the benefit of the library j 
 and it would add interest to the proceedings 
 if you would do us the great honor of reciting
 
 AN UNSUCCESSFUL FIASCO 161 
 
 one or more pieces for us, or perhaps read 
 something of your own." 
 
 I guessed right. He said it, allowing for 
 certain unimportant verbal variations. I 
 think it was the Y. M. S. C., instead of the 
 Y. P. S. C. E., and instead of saying "it 
 would add interest to the proceedings," he 
 said it would "give the affair a literary fla 
 vour" words of the same import. 
 
 I told him that Mrs. Vernon had come up 
 to rest, but that did not head him off. I 
 really didn t suppose it would. I was merely 
 making his task a little difficult, so that he 
 would appreciate me the more. We writers 
 all do things like that. If I had fallen into 
 his arms and had said, "Recite; why I ll do 
 the whole programme," while he would have 
 thanked me, he would have felt that he had 
 gotten me so easily that I could not be worth 
 much. 
 
 "Well, surely," said he, "it won t tire Mrs. 
 Vernon for you to come and talk to us. You ll 
 be doing a favour to your fellows. 
 
 Ah, now it was time for me to come down 
 gracefully off my perch, and I consented to 
 sing my little song. Altruism is the lesson
 
 162 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 of the hour, and I think I have learned it. I 
 have been taught it often enough by various 
 committees. Committees believe firmly in al 
 truism. " Altruism," say they, "is the get 
 ting of a man to do something worth some 
 thing for nothing. Some define altruism as 
 "Depriving the labourer of his hire for the 
 good of others." 
 
 I would not care to be misunderstood in 
 in this matter. I really think that if a man 
 has talents he ought to use them to the benefit 
 of his fellows, but I have known so many 
 poor strugglers in New York who, when they 
 were struggling most frantically, have been 
 asked by complaisant committees to give 
 their services for the entertainment of the 
 Grand-Daughters of Evolution or some other 
 body perfectly capable of paying for their 
 services that I am rather glad of this oppor 
 tunity of freeing my mind. 
 
 Altruism begins at home. If you believe 
 in it, practise it yourself, but until you have 
 learned to think about the needs of the other 
 fellow, don t ask him to think of your lux 
 uries. 
 
 The upshot of the whole matter was that
 
 AN UNSUCCESSFUL FIASCO 163 
 
 I told Mr. Hughson that I would be glad to 
 come and recite the following Wednesday (a 
 week later), and a week later we hired Bert s 
 wagon, and with James holding the reins, 
 Minerva by his side (of course we could not 
 leave her at home alone) and Ethel and I on 
 the back seat, we drove down to the Sunday 
 School of the church. 
 
 I wish that the good pastor had introduced 
 me. He was a man who had moved among 
 his fellows and who knew life and had a 
 sense of values, while the man who did intro 
 duce me, and who shall be nameless, was in 
 sincere, shallow, a flatterer and fond of the 
 sound of his own voice. 
 
 I can say these things thus plainly, be 
 cause he is now spending a year or so in State 
 prison for breaking the sixth commandment. 
 (No need to look it up ; it is "Thou Shalt Not 
 Steal.") 
 
 To tell the truth, I did not want to be 
 introduced. I had not recited for months, 
 and I was feeling frightfully nervous. So 
 much so that my knees wabbled, my palms 
 were moist and my throat parched. 
 
 I would gladly have given the Y. M. S. C.
 
 164 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 ten dollars to release me, only I didn t have 
 my check-book with me. 
 
 This full-whiskered man, who was the Sun 
 day School superintendent, took his long 
 length up onto the platform and bowing and 
 grimacing said, in a hard, flat voice, 
 
 * Ladies and gentlemen, I think that we of 
 Egerton have always been fortunate in se 
 curing the summer services of various peo 
 ple who are eminent in the walks of life to 
 which it has pleased God to call them. You 
 may remember that last summer we had the 
 eminent English scientist, Professor Drys- 
 den, who did some very clever card tricks 
 for us ; the year before we had Rev. Amaziah 
 Barton, who sang a very amusing coon song 
 for us, and I think it was the year before that 
 that the famous Arctic explorer, whose name 
 escapes me, entertained us with ventriloquial 
 tricks. All these men showed in thus er 
 doing things that were in a measure outside 
 of the ordinary line of their duties, how mani 
 fold are the workings of the human brain. 
 
 "To-night we have with us a man whose 
 name is known wherever the English lan 
 guage is spoken ; a man whose erudite works
 
 AN UNSUCCESSFUL FIASCO 165 
 
 are upon every shelf, a man who has reflected 
 lustre upon the language spoken by Chaucer 
 and Spenser " 
 
 (I have never written anything under the 
 name of Philip Vernon, so that my hearers 
 were so far entirely in the dark as to my 
 identity.) 
 
 "Mr. Vernon is a frequent contributor to 
 the Antarctic Magazine, and those of us who 
 feel that the month has not been well spent 
 until we have absorbed its contents know 
 Mr. Vernon s work as we know our Bibles. 
 
 "We have been told by a celebrated phi 
 losopher that a little nonsense now and then 
 is relished by the wisest men, and there is 
 a great deal of truth in the remark. I am 
 not above smiling at a joke myself; no one 
 can afford to be so engrossed with the affairs 
 of the world as never to permit a jocose re 
 mark to pass his lips. 
 
 "All work and no play makes Jack a dull 
 boy, and so Mr. Vernon is going to unbend 
 to-night, and will make you shriek with laugh 
 ter by his card tricks." 
 
 Here he was interrupted by the Kev. Mr.
 
 166 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Hughson, who said in a loud whisper, "No, 
 he is going to recite." 
 
 I was boiling. If I had been Mark Twain 
 himself, such an introduction would have 
 made whatever followed in the nature of an 
 anti-climax. As I was to the audience sim 
 ply an unknown "Mr. Vernon," it was little 
 less than cruelty to animals. 
 
 "Oh, surely. I am sure we are all pre 
 pared to laugh heartily at the witticisms and 
 comical actions of Mr. Philip Vernon, the 
 great author whom I now take pleasure in 
 introducing to you." 
 
 Ethel was well in the back of the room. 
 She hates to hear me recite, as she is always 
 afraid that I will go to pieces, a fear that 
 I have often told her was groundless, as 
 whatever else may happen, I always keep con 
 trol of myself, but this evening the malapro 
 pos idiocies of the asinine gentleman on the 
 platform upset me so that I hardly knew what 
 I was doing when I stumbled up alongside of 
 him. 
 
 I had chosen a poem that is not humourous 
 in itself, but by means of perverting its writ 
 ten meanings and by the use of uncouth ges-
 
 tures the thing has served to create amuse 
 ment among my friends and (when I am feel 
 ing in the mood for it) even among my ene 
 mies. But to-night I was not feeling hu 
 mourous ; only angry. 
 
 I bowed to the audience, bowed to the min 
 ister, bowed to the idiot who had misintro- 
 duced me, and then I began the thing, and to 
 Ethel s intense relief (for I happened to look 
 at her) the audience burst out into laughter 
 before I had finished the first verse. The 
 second verse caused them to laugh still more, 
 and instead of keeping my wits entirely on 
 the matter in hand I allowed myself to think 
 of both what my audience was doing and 
 what the man had been saying, and the con 
 sequence was what it is apt to be if a man 
 loses grip of his work. I lost my lines. I 
 had recited the thing dozens of times, but 
 now not a word would come to me. I 
 smoothed my moustache and coughed in char 
 acter, and took a step or two around the plat 
 form, as if I were leading up to some business 
 and then I bowed suddenly and walked into 
 the cloak room, where I was followed by 
 Ethel, and for the next two minutes I had
 
 168 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 all I could do to restrain her sobs. She was 
 hysterical. 
 
 As for me, I was angry clear through, and 
 when the pastor came in I started to tell him, 
 but he raised his hand and I saw that he 
 understood better than I could say. He 
 grasped my hand and I knew that he was a 
 man of feeling. 
 
 "It s all right," said he. "The audience 
 is laughing and applauding, and they think 
 you meant to do it. Go back and give them 
 something else." 
 
 It was as if a flash of lightning had shown 
 me a way of escape from a perilous lodg 
 ment. 
 
 "Do you mean it?" said I. 
 
 He opened the door a little and I could 
 hear them clapping their hands. 
 
 "Ethel, I ll go in and tell them that story 
 I wrote for Mazie." 
 
 Back to the platform I went, with my mind 
 full of a nonsense story I had written for my 
 niece. 
 
 I was received by enthusiastic applause, 
 and heartened by their kindly feeling I told 
 them the following story, which I called :
 
 AN UNSUCCESSFUL FIASCO 169 
 
 "The Mother of Little Maude and Little 
 Maude." 
 
 Once upon a time there was a little girl 
 named Maude, and she went out a-driving in 
 a four-wheeled carriage drawn by two four- 
 legged horses and driven by one two-legged 
 driver. And the dear little girl named Maude 
 sat on the front seat by the two-legged driver 
 and Maude s dear Mama sat on the back seat 
 by herself, which is not the same as beside 
 herself. 
 
 And all of a sudden the horses, which had 
 only been running before, began to run away. 
 And the dear little girl named Maude wished 
 to let her mamma know that they were run 
 ning away, but she did not wish to alarm 
 her too suddenly, for sometimes shocks are 
 serious. 
 
 And the dear little girl named Maude saw 
 a reporterman walking along the sidewalk 
 looking for news for his paper. So she called 
 to the reporterman and said, "I wish to speak 
 to you on business." 
 
 And the reporterman was agile, and he 
 jumped on the step of the carriage, and the
 
 170 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 little girl said to him, "Please get it into your 
 paper that the horses are running away, and 
 I wish my dear mamma to know it. I am 
 none other than little Maude. 
 
 And the reporterman did not know that 
 the lady on the back seat was the mamma of 
 little Maude, so he raised his cap and jumped 
 from the carriage and nearly fell down in so 
 doing, for the horses were now running 
 madly on eight legs, and the driver was get 
 ting nervous and the reporterman went to the 
 newspaper office and wrote : The horses of 
 the little girl who is none other than little 
 Maude, are running away and it is a pretty 
 serious business, for her mamma does not 
 know it, and there is no telling when the 
 horses will stop." 
 
 And they slapped this news into type, and 
 then it was printed in the newspaper, and a 
 newsboy took the papers and ran into the 
 street, crying * Extry ! Extry ! Full account 
 of the running away of the horses of the lit 
 tle girl, who is none other than little Maude." 
 
 And Maude s mamma heard the little boy, 
 and she beckoned ^to him to bring her a paper. 
 And the newsboy was also agile, and he
 
 AN UNSUCCESSFUL FIASCO 171 
 
 leaped upon the step and sold a paper to the 
 lady for a cent and then he jumped off again, 
 for he had other papers to sell. 
 
 And the mamma of little Maude began to 
 read the news. And when she came to the 
 part that said the horses of little Maude were 
 running away, she looked straight ahead and 
 saw that it was indeed true. 
 
 And with great presence of mind she 
 climbed over the back seat and dropped to 
 the ground unhurt. And when little Maude 
 saw that her dear mamma had escaped, she 
 also climbed over the back seat and dropped 
 to the ground unhurt. And when the driver 
 saw that Maude s mamma and little Maude 
 had escaped, he also climbed over the back 
 seat and dropped to the ground unhurt. 
 
 And the two horses, who were very intelli 
 gent and who had wondered what would be 
 the outcome of their runaway, got into the 
 carriage and they also climbed over the back 
 seat and dropped to the ground unhurt. 
 
 * 
 
 The ride home was pleasanter than I had 
 expected it to be. When I had stepped off 
 the platform after my fiasco, I understood
 
 172 MINERVA S MANCBUVEES 
 
 how a suicide felt. When I stepped off the 
 second time I felt better. 
 
 "I almos bus laughin ," said Minerva, as 
 she climbed into the carriage. 
 
 1 i Thank you, Minerva, said I, fully appre 
 ciating both the compliment and her peril.
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 THE FOURTH OF JULY. 
 
 A week of lovely weather made us forget 
 time. We spent our days in the open air, 
 and Minerva spent her days practising for 
 the concert. It was wonderful with what ex 
 pedition she cooked our meals and cleaned 
 up afterward. The meals were, if anything, 
 more delicious than formerly. She was hap 
 py, and she could not help communicating 
 some of her happiness to her cooking. It 
 was not so much the thing she cooked, as the 
 happy way she cooked it. 
 
 James was a sort of Luther Burbank in 
 his power over plants. One afternoon I said 
 to Ethel in his hearing that I thought it was 
 a pity that the Wheelocks had not planted 
 a vine in front of the house, as it would have 
 added greatly to its picturesqueness. 
 
 He was oiling his lawn mower at the time, 
 and I noticed that he stood up and looked 
 
 173
 
 174 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 at the house front and nodded his head and 
 smiled, but I would not have thought of it 
 again had it not been for the fact that two 
 days after, on returning from a drive with 
 Ethel, we both burst out into ejaculations of 
 surprise and delight. 
 
 The front of the house, up to the second- 
 story window, was adorned by a most beau 
 tiful crimson rambler, 
 
 I felt like rubbing my eyes. We must have 
 lost our way. It could not be our house. 
 
 But just then Minerva and James came 
 around the corner of the house, hand in hand. 
 As soon as they saw us they let go of hands, 
 and she went back to the kitchen with a guf 
 faw that merely indicated light heartedness. 
 
 James looked up at the vine and said, 
 
 " Looks pretty nice, don t it?" 
 
 We overwhelmed him with compliments, 
 and found out that he had bought a large 
 potted plant in full bloom and had sunk pot 
 and all in the earth. I had never heard of 
 such a thing being done before, and I looked 
 to see the roses all wither, but they did noth 
 ing of the kind. Our place looked a hundred 
 per cent, better than it had done before, and
 
 THE FOURTH OF JULY 175 
 
 when, a day or so later, I received a bill from 
 a florist at Egerton, I paid it without a mur 
 mur. There is nothing like initiative, and it 
 is worth paying for. 
 
 As I say, the days went by unheeded. We 
 were too far from any church to attend one, 
 but we tried to be as good on Sunday as we 
 were on week days. 
 
 And this, by the way, is a most excellent 
 rule for anyone to follow. 
 
 One morning I heard what sounded like pis 
 tol shots in the distance, many times repeat 
 ed, and while we were at breakfast one or 
 two teams passed us headed for Egerton. 
 
 "I wonder if haying is over as soon as 
 this?" said Ethel. "I thought that horses 
 were all at work in the fields." 
 
 "Not this morning, evidently," said I as 
 another team, a two-horse one this time, went 
 by, loaded with children. 
 
 "Oh, it s a picnic," said I, and then we 
 heard a loud explosion in the opposite quar 
 ter from that of the last pistol shot 
 
 I looked at Ethel, and we burst out laugh 
 ing together. 
 
 "Fourth of July!"
 
 176 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Of course ! What geese we are. Oh, let s 
 go down town and see what they are doing ! 
 
 "Why, we can hear it up here. That s all 
 they are doing," said I. 
 
 "No, I ve always read about Fourth of 
 July in the country. Don t you remember 
 Tom Bailey, in the Story of a Bad Boy ? 
 Let s go down and join in the fun." 
 
 "Probably Bert s gone with his family. 
 We d have to walk. 
 
 "Hello! here s someone driving up to the 
 post. Why, it s James with a two-seated 
 wagon ! 
 
 Just then Minerva came into the room, 
 dressed up in her Sunday best and with an 
 assortment of colored ribbons that made her 
 look like a fair. 
 
 "Will there be anything to do to-day, 
 ma am? I ve made lunch." 
 
 "Where do you want to go, Minerva?" 
 said Ethel. 
 
 * Why, James is just crazy to take me down 
 to town to see the parade. 
 
 "Who else is going?" 
 
 "No one on y him an me. He brought 
 his father s wagon."
 
 THE FOUBTH OF JULY 177 
 
 "I guess there ll be no objection, Miner 
 va, said Ethel. When will you be back ! 
 
 "Oh, time for dinner. * 
 
 "Yes, you may go Minerva," said Ethel, 
 and Minerva clapped her hands. "Country 
 ain t so bad when you know it," said she. 
 
 She went out into the kitchen, and I said, 
 
 "I have a kind of notion that James is 
 going to invite us to go down with them. 
 Now that would be extremely simple and 
 would probably strike Mrs. Guernsea as be 
 ing very original, but I think it will be better 
 if I hire his rig and get him to drive us down 
 and we ll stay there all day and take dinner 
 at the hotel, and come back by moonlight." 
 
 Ethel took a turn at hand clapping. 
 
 "You re a great deal better than when we 
 came up, aren t you?" said I. 
 
 "Oh, I m all well now, and perfectly hap- 
 py." 
 
 I went out and said to James, 
 
 * James, can I hire your f ather s team for 
 to-day? and then I d like you to drive us to 
 town and bring us back to-night. We 11 dine 
 at the hotel and you and Minerva can dine 
 where you like."
 
 178 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Whatever James idea may have been, he 
 was not above earning an honest dollar, and I 
 offered him two for the use of his team, and 
 a half hour later we started for town. 
 
 His father had raised the horses himself 
 (well-matched and handsome sorrels), and 
 under James guidance they made nothing 
 of the three-mile drive. 
 
 It was exhilarating to go through the air 
 at such a pace, and we were both glad we had 
 come, although we were both ashamed that 
 we had forgotten what day it was. 
 
 Arrived in town, James put the horses up 
 at a stable, and we broke up into groups of 
 two. 
 
 I had never seen Minerva in such spirits, 
 and it seemed to me that she clung to James 
 arm in a way that signified something ap 
 proaching an understanding between them. 
 What if he married her ? How could we find 
 work for him in New York? 
 
 She almost danced along, and his own 
 stride was to a certain extent cake-walkey. 
 We saw them enter an ice cream saloon im 
 mediately, and we knew they would be happy 
 all day long.
 
 THE FOURTH OF JULY 179 
 
 There was joy in the air and we were 
 happy. There is no question about it; as 
 a people we are beginning to take our holi 
 days less sadly. Everywhere laughing groups 
 were forming on the sidewalks of Main street 
 to wait for the parade, which was to be made 
 up not only of G. A. R, men, but also of repre 
 sentatives from nearly every fire company in 
 the county. Engines and hooks and ladders 
 had been coming in on the railroad all the 
 morning, and, as I said to Ethel, I trembled 
 when I thought of what might happen in 
 their absence. She characteristically ad 
 vised me not to tremble too much. 
 
 Blue coated, peak hatted men jostled slouch 
 hatted veterans of the Civil War and younger 
 men in khaki hurried to headquarters to make 
 part of the parade. 
 
 Small boys were firing off lock-jaw pistols 
 and smaller boys were exploding firecrack 
 ers and already that morning there had been 
 a delightful fire in a fireworks store. Thanks 
 to the visiting firemen it had been put out be 
 fore the store was entirely consumed. Every 
 one had been intensely gratified at the excite 
 ment excepting the owner who had reckoned
 
 180 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 on having his fireworks set off in other places 
 than his own store. There was no chance for 
 his rockets to show to advantage. However, 
 he was fully insured and he showed his 
 American spirit by hiring an empty store and 
 doing a good business for the rest of the day 
 in selling wet fireworks at a discount. Small 
 boys found that fifty per cent of the crackers 
 in a package would go off in spite of their 
 exposure to water and as two cents a package 
 was his prevailing price they were willing to 
 buy to the extent of their Fourth-of-July for 
 tunes. 
 
 To our city eyes the parade was not very 
 imposing but then again viewed as a spectacle 
 of American manhood it was not without its 
 interest and the company of smoothshaven, 
 tanned cheeked veterans of the Philippine 
 War marching sturdily along provoked tre 
 mendous cheers from many who in the nature 
 of things must have been " antis." 
 
 All men are or ought to be expansionists on 
 the Fourth-of-July. It is a day for fine feel 
 ing and for feeling fine. Ethel responded to 
 its spirit nobly and she had not looked so well 
 in years.
 
 Once we heard loud laughter from the 
 crowd and I instinctively said " Minerva," 
 and sure enough they were laughing at our 
 maid. She or James had bought an Ameri 
 can flag and she had wrapped it around her 
 shoulders and was rising and falling on the 
 balls of her feet in response to some internal 
 rhythm. All at once she broke out into the 
 singing of Dixie in which she was joined first 
 by James and then by the entire crowd. 
 Those who could not sing cheered and if there 
 were any Southerners present it must have 
 warmed the cockles of their hearts. 
 
 There is no doubt that the most popular 
 song in the United States today (outside of 
 "America" which is popular by tradition) 
 is Dixie which was composed and written by a 
 Northerner, fused into life by Southerners 
 and now serves to show that we are Ameri 
 cans all. 
 
 After the parade those of us who could 
 made our way to the Town Hall where the 
 Declaration of Independence was to be read 
 and where speeches were to be made quite in 
 the old fashioned way. 
 
 Ethel had never heard the Declaration of
 
 182 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Independence read. Fancy ! Neither had I. 
 
 It seemed rather long but we liked the senti 
 ments in it and it was read by a man who 
 knew his business; the rector of the Episco 
 pal Church. 
 
 Those who had a special pull were admit 
 ted to the platform. I worked no wires. In 
 fact Ethel wanted to sit where she could leave 
 the house easily if she felt faint so we were in 
 the rear. 
 
 James evidently had a pull for he and Mi 
 nerva sat on the platform. I was glad to see 
 it because surely the Fourth-of-July is 
 well it is not necessary to say more. 
 
 Most of the speeches were very long and 
 the place was very hot but there was one 
 speech that was full of flowery eloquence that 
 I had supposed had faded from the earth. 
 
 I am indebted to the courtesy of the editor 
 of the Egerton Ensign for its text and I give 
 it herewith so that future ages may see that, 
 as late as the year 1903, Demosthenian elo 
 quence had not passed away. 
 
 The speaker was a member of the State 
 Legislature and he still clung to Burnside 
 whiskers or to be more accurate they still
 
 THE FOURTH OF JULY 183 
 
 clung to him. He had a high forehead that 
 continued unabashed over to his collar. 
 
 He rose amid considerable handclapping 
 and advancing to the front of the platform he 
 bowed solemnly to the multitude and then in 
 a voice that was rich and sonorous and musi 
 cal he said: 
 
 1 One hundred and twenty-seven years ago 
 to-day a nation was born upon earth. 
 
 "Ladies and gentlemen, need I tell you 
 what the name of that Nation was? Need I 
 say to any boy or to any girl or to any man 
 or to any woman in this vast assemblage what 
 the name of that nation was ? 
 
 "No, ev-er-y boy and ev-er-y girl and ev- 
 er-y man and ev-er-y woman knows that I re 
 fer to these free and independent United 
 States of America. (Cheers). 
 
 "Born amid the thunder of warring guns 
 (sic) and nursed upon bullets she grew to 
 lusty childhood, advanced to sweet woman 
 hood and in her turn, upon that other day to 
 be held in remembrance upon Dewey day 
 she became the mother of a child a child that 
 it is our duty to cherish and to educate and to
 
 184 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 uplift and to protect until she is as American 
 as her mother. 
 
 "Need I say that I refer to the Philip 
 pines?" (Cheers mingled with a few his 
 ses). He had now warmed to his work and 
 his studied eloquence gave way to something 
 more sincere. 
 
 " Ladies and Gentlemen, we warred with 
 England in the days of old and I remember 
 the time when it was thought to be unpa 
 triotic for an American to like an Englishman 
 but I say let us be magnanimous. Let us not 
 any longer taunt England with her defeat. 
 Those soldiers that she sent to harry and to 
 bully and to cripple us are dead long ago. 
 They did what they had sworn to do 
 when they took oath under that despicable 
 despot George the Third. "When they fought 
 us they were doing their duty as they saw it 
 and their dust has mingled with the free soil 
 of this great country these many years. 
 
 "Let us be magnanimous. Why even in 
 those dark days we were not without friends 
 on the other side. The name of William Pitt 
 should ever be spoken with respect by true 
 Americans.
 
 THE FOURTH OF JULY 185 
 
 "Let us be magnanimous. Are we likely 
 to go to war with England! (thunders of Nos 
 from all parts of the house). 
 
 "No, gentlemen, we are not likely to go to 
 war with that country. Right or wrong she 
 was our mother and we are the greatest credit 
 to her that ever a daughter was to a mother. 
 From the sea-kissed shores of the coast of 
 Maine to the ocean lapped coast of Califor 
 nia ; from the storm swept areas of the great 
 lakes to the humid waters of the Gulf of 
 Mexico we are the greatest daughter that a 
 mother ever had. 
 
 "Was Greece great? We shall be greater. 
 
 "Was Rome powerful? We shall be more 
 powerful. 
 
 "Were the Middle Ages renowned for 
 their arts? We shall be more renowned. 
 
 "Was England strong upon sea or land? 
 We shall be more strong. 
 
 "Has England stood for internal fair 
 play? We shall stand for external fair play. 
 
 "This country that was mocked and 
 taunted within the memory of men yet living 
 shall become one, who with power to mock 
 does not mock. She shall spread abroad her
 
 186 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 hand and wars shall cease. The oppressed in 
 all climes shall look to her for protection and 
 she will protect. 
 
 "I hear voices borne on the summer wind 
 of this day and they bring good tidings to me. 
 They tell me that the right to work for a fair 
 wage shall belong to each man and each 
 woman who chooses to exercise it. They tell 
 me these voices that the right to stop 
 others from working shall be taken from 
 those who think they hold it (Hear, hear) and 
 that the right of the rich to eternally grab is 
 no right. 
 
 " These voices tell me that the arts have 
 found in these United States a soil in which 
 they may flourish undisturbed. The blood 
 of the Italians who have come to this country, 
 mixed with the blood of the Poles and cooled 
 by the blood of those of the North lands, tem 
 pered still more by the sturdy common sense 
 of the Britons, made buoyant by the wit of 
 the French and made strong and powerful by 
 the blood of the three century old Americans 
 will result in a type of man that shall cause 
 our houses to become beautiful; that shall 
 save our forests from destruction, that shall
 
 THE FOURTH OF JULY 187 
 
 decorate and color and cause to blossom and 
 run to ripe fruitage all that makes life culti 
 vated, pure, serene and lovable. 
 
 " Ladies and gentlemen, let us thank God 
 that we are Americans; that we have been 
 allowed to live to see this day. There are 
 strifes and rumours of strifes in our land but 
 everything tends to betterment, and I firmly 
 believe that at the last we shall be found to 
 be the chosen people of the Lord of All 
 Things by whom all things were made. 
 
 (Cheers, and thunders of applause, in which 
 I am free to say that Ethel and myself joined 
 heartily.) 
 
 In fact, although the speech was over 
 flowery, it had in it a good deal that any fair- 
 minded man could say amen to and delivered 
 under the influence of the deep baritone of a 
 natural orator it was stimulating. 
 
 And then some one, with no sense of the 
 fitness of things, rose and called on all to sing 
 "Nearer, My God, to Thee." 
 
 The millennium is not as close as all that. 
 We still have the question of the rights of 
 labour and the wrongs of capital with us, and 
 a better hymn might have been selected.
 
 188 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 Onward, Christian Soldiers, would have 
 been more in the spirit of the time. 
 
 We made our way out, and as I was leav 
 ing the hall I looked back and saw the orator 
 of the day shaking hands with James. It 
 gave me a choky feeling, so that perhaps I 
 was still under the influence of his speech. 
 
 I will acknowledge that I set down the 
 speech in this place in order to make fun of 
 it, but after all it was sincere, and sincerity 
 makes a poor butt for the shafts of ridicule. 
 
 During the afternoon we took a drive in 
 James s wagon, and saw something of the 
 beauty of the. surrounding country, going 
 quite a distance on the road to Springfield. 
 We returned to Egerton by the upper road, 
 and I had all I could do to keep the horses 
 under control, as that end of the town was 
 given up to the small boy, and pistols, crack 
 ers and bombs were being exploded on every 
 hand. 
 
 One of those hideous things that knock the 
 romance out of any spot in which they are 
 placed, a merry-go-round, was revolving to 
 the sound of wheezy organ music, and the 
 horses were of one mind with us as to its be-
 
 THE FOURTH OF JULY 189 
 
 ing a blot on civilization, and they proceeded 
 to show their distaste for it to such an extent 
 that I stopped them short and let Ethel get 
 out. Then I forced them to stand still and 
 watch the moving picture. They obeyed me 
 for a few seconds and then they tore down the 
 street. I controlled them very soon, how 
 ever, and when I had stopped them I hitched 
 them to a post on a quiet square and went 
 back to get Ethel. 
 
 I found her by a tree, looking with amuse 
 ment at the carrousel. My eyes followed 
 hers, and the picture presented to them was 
 eminently characteristic. 
 
 James was riding on the merry-go-round. 
 He was astride of a small wooden pony that 
 gave his legs a chance to look unduly long, 
 while perched alongside of him sat Minerva 
 astride of a giraffe. She was clinging to the 
 neck of the beast, and for the time being she 
 was in New York (for Coney Island is to all 
 intents and purposes New York and your 
 merry-go-round is the strawberry mark that 
 identifies Coney Island). 
 
 Round and round she whirled, her eyes 
 shining ecstatically, and from time to time
 
 she reached out her right hand and met 
 James s left. 
 
 "We will have to keep a butler next win 
 ter," said Ethel. 
 
 Suddenly Minerva saw us and she waved 
 her hand to us and yelled something that we 
 could not distinguish, but I knew it was an 
 invitation to mount some strange animal and 
 be happy. 
 
 We shook our heads. Happiness would not 
 come to us in those questionable shapes. 
 When I want to be sea-sick give me the ocean 
 and a European port as the reward, not 
 merely sickness for sickness sake. And 
 Ethel is of the same mind only more so. She 
 goes so far as to say, give her some American 
 port and leave the sea and its sickness out al 
 together. 
 
 The music dwindled, the merry-go-round 
 became less merry, and at last ceased to go 
 round, and then Minerva, settling her ample 
 skirts so as to cover the flanks of the giraffe, 
 said, 
 
 "Oh, Mis. Vernon, I ain t had so much fun 
 this summer. Better come up. It s jus as 
 easy."
 
 THE FOURTH OF JULY 191 
 
 "I m glad you like it, Minerva," said Ethel, 
 "but it would make me dizzy. Have you had 
 lunch?" 
 
 Deed we have. "Want some peanuts ? 
 
 The offer was made with such generosity 
 of spirit that Ethel accepted. It was the 
 Fourth-of-July, and we all ate peanuts to 
 gether. I don t think that James liked it. 
 He felt that Minerva had not been, well 
 brought up. I am sure that he would not have 
 asked us to eat peanuts, but I don t see that 
 any harm was done. There was no cloth 
 spread and I have never yet come across a 
 rule that says a lady of color on a giraffe 
 should not offer peanuts to her mistress on 
 the sidewalk of a New England town. 
 
 Anyway the peanuts were good and we en 
 joyed them. 
 
 We told James and Minerva to have a good 
 time and to be ready to start for home at half 
 past nine. There was to be a display of fire 
 works at eight, and I knew they would want 
 to see that. It was somewhere in the neigh 
 bourhood of five o clock when we left them 
 and drove back to the stable. 
 
 The fireworks display was beautiful, al-
 
 192 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 though not lavish. I listened for Minerva s 
 rapturous Ah s, but did not hear them, and 
 as the circle in which we sat was not more 
 than an eighth of a mile in diameter, I judged 
 that for some unaccountable reason she was 
 not there. 
 
 After the exhibition, which ended with a 
 flight of a hundred rockets, one of which stove 
 in a plate-glass window and so provided extra 
 amusement for the crowd, we made our way 
 to the stable, expecting to find James there, 
 but he was not. 
 
 We found our wagon under a shed and we 
 climbed in and waited, as Ethel was tired of 
 being on her feet. 
 
 We waited until ten o clock and James and 
 Minerva did not come, so I asked a hostler 
 to harness up, and telling him to keep James 
 and Minerva if they came, we went forth to 
 look for them. 
 
 I had a theory as to where they were, and 
 I drove to Doncaster street, whereon the 
 merry-go-round stands. 
 
 My instinct as to the whereabouts of the 
 couple proved correct. There, under the 
 flare of gasoline torches, whirled the merry-
 
 THE FOURTH OF JULY 193 
 
 go-round, and now James was astride of an 
 ostrich and Minerva, like Una, was riding a 
 lion by his side and their hands were clasped 
 in a firm, firm clasp. 
 
 I caught the eye of James and signalled, 
 and when the music came to an end and the 
 machine stopped, he and his lady love dis 
 mounted. 
 
 "When we were all in the carriage Ethel 
 said to Minerva, 
 
 "How did you enjoy the fireworks ?" 
 She threw herself back in the seat with a 
 gasp. 
 
 "Lawdy, forgot all bout the fireworks. " 
 " You don t mean to say, Minerva, that you 
 have been riding ever since we saw you this 
 afternoon. 
 
 " Deed we have. Eode every beas an 
 bird there was." 
 
 "And what did you have for supper?" 
 "Peanuts," said James, rather shame 
 facedly.
 
 MORE NATURE STUDY. 
 
 "It s love that makes the world go round, * 
 said I next morning at breakfast. 
 
 "What makes the merry-go-round?" said 
 Ethel. 
 
 "The answer to that will be found in the 
 May number," said I. "You ought not to 
 ask conundrums, whose answers have to be 
 thought up. But isn t it so? Hasn t Mi 
 nerva been an angel ever since James came 
 and if she isn t in love with him what is she 1 
 
 "If that s another conundrum, I give it up, 
 too. Do you suppose that James loves her! 
 
 "It wouldn t surprise me. Minerva is not 
 bad looking and she has a happy disposition 
 in the main," said I, as Ethel passed me my 
 coffee. 
 
 "My, yes, she s a different creature from 
 what she was when she first saw these hills. 
 This morning she actually told me that the 
 
 194
 
 MORE NATURE STUDY 195 
 
 sunsets up here had more colors in them than 
 they had in New York, and that they were 
 bigger. She s beginning to take notice. I 
 must give her a nature lesson. Something 
 has always happened to prevent it," 
 
 "I don t think the need for it exists now 
 that she has James. He s all the study she 
 needs." 
 
 "Yes, but if we should come up here next 
 summer, and James should not prove con 
 stant, it would be something if she loved the 
 country for its own sake." 
 
 Just then Minerva came in with a dish of 
 brains; a present from Bert s father, who 
 sent the pleasant message that they always 
 threw the stuff away, but he knew that city 
 folks had queer tastes. 
 
 "Minerva, what were you going to do this 
 morning?" asked Ethel. 
 
 "Nothin , ma am," said she innocently. 
 
 "You mean nothing in particular," said 
 Ethel, knowing that no impertinence was in 
 tended. "Suppose you take some of those 
 new kitchen towels to hem and we ll go out 
 into the fields and I ll tell you something 
 about the flowers."
 
 196 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 "I got some sewin of my own to do if 
 you ll let me," said Minerva. 
 
 "Why certainly. You know, Minerva, as 
 long as you get your work done each day, I 
 don t care what you do for yourself." 
 
 "No m, I know you don t. I don t either 
 ma am." 
 
 I looked up hastily, but Minerva was guilt 
 less of any attempt at repartee. She was 
 simply acquiescing with her mistress. 
 
 Having nothing better to do than loaf, I 
 went with Ethel to a place called the winter- 
 green lot, about a half mile distant, and Mi 
 nerva followed after with a lot of white stuff 
 that reminded me strongly of the day I was 
 married. I am not up in feminine fabrics, 
 and the thing might have been mosquito net 
 ting. 
 
 The day was hot and sultry. Hanging over 
 Egerton in the southwest were great black, 
 wicked looking clouds that portended thunder 
 storms. We had so far escaped without one, 
 although we had several times heard distant 
 thunder and had seen a storm following the 
 course of the river in the west. 
 
 "Shall we take umbrellas?" said Ethel
 
 MORE NATURE STUDY 197 
 
 "What s the use?" said I. "If it rains 
 we ll probably get wet anyway, and in such 
 hot weather as this a wetting 1 won t hurt." 
 
 So we went unhampered by umbrellas, and 
 after a walk through a tree-embowered road, 
 whose beauty we were told had been marked 
 for destruction by the brass mill, but of which 
 destruction the happy trees were all ignorant, 
 we reached the wintergreen lot, and Ethel, 
 spreading a shawl, seated herself on the 
 mossy ground, while I perched on a rock until 
 it got too hard, when I changed to another 
 rock. 
 
 l Minerva, do you see that little red berry 
 in the grass?" said Ethel. 
 
 "Yas m." 
 
 "Well, pick it and I ll tell you something 
 about it." 
 
 I sniffed. Ethel s love of outdoor life is 
 very real, but she is not a botanist. "She 
 knows what she likes" in nature, but she 
 can t tell why. 
 
 She heard the sniff and her lips came to 
 gether to form a noiseless word that she be 
 stows upon me when she thinks I need it. 
 
 Then she smiled at me and took from a lit-
 
 198 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 tie bag she had brought with her Mrs. Dana s 
 book, "How to Know the Wild Flowers," 
 which she had evidently found among, the 
 Wheelock s possessions. 
 
 "That, Minerva, is the wintergreen berry. 
 Taste it and tell me what it reminds you of. 
 
 Minerva s wide mouth enveloped the dainty 
 berry and she crushed it with her tongue. 
 Then she beamed. 
 
 "Chewin gum," said she. "Wish I had 
 some. 
 
 "Well, I wasn t thinking of that, but they 
 do flavor chewing gum with it, I believe. But 
 could you get anything in the city as pretty 
 as that?" 
 
 "Yas m." 
 
 "What, Minerva?" 
 
 Crawberries. 
 
 "Yes, but they don t grow in the city. 
 Now here s something that I never noticed 
 before. It says in this book that he who 
 seeks the cool shade of the evergreens on a 
 hot July day is likely to discover the nod 
 ding wax-like flowers of this little plant.* 
 Now let s see if we can find any. It doesn t
 
 MOEE NATURE STUDY 199 
 
 seem likely that the fruit and the blossom 
 would be blooming at the same time." 
 
 They are, though, said I. Found that 
 out when I was a boy. I can never taste 
 wintergreen berries without being reminded 
 of a girl that " 
 
 "Wait, Philip, we ll be back. I want to 
 see if I can get a flower. 
 
 Ethel always cuts me off when I make any 
 references to my lost youth. She calls them 
 my calf love days and takes no interest in 
 them, while I contend that some of the happi 
 est moments in a man s life are when he 
 roams the fields in retrospect with a girl who 
 is always ten times prettier than anyone he 
 ever met. I once met one of those old-time 
 beauties and the shock was terrific. I tried 
 to restore her features as I gazed at her, but 
 my imagination balked at the task. She was 
 a good woman, the mother of seven good chil 
 dren, but the vision of the lovely, dancing- 
 eyed, pink-cheeked, rosebud-mouthed, shell- 
 like-eared, dimple-chinned naiad of my early 
 youth was gone. 
 
 From the way in which she looked at me, I 
 felt that she had suffered a like shock. The
 
 200 MINEKVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 tall, lithe-limbed, high-browed, innocent- 
 faced, clear-eyed, light-hearted boy of sixteen 
 no longer stood before her. Thanks be to the 
 conventions of society, neither one of us 
 wished that our tongues could utter the 
 thoughts that arose in us, and we both had 
 the audacity to speak of the jolly days of long 
 ago, and I left her, thinking that I still con 
 sidered her the little beauty of 1886, while she 
 left me still imagining that I thought she 
 thought me the handsome youth of the same 
 year. 
 
 Ethel gave a little cry of delight. 
 
 I ve found one, Philip. It s just like the 
 picture in the book. 
 
 "Why, of course," said I. "You don t 
 suppose that they make up those pictures and 
 expect the plants to conform to them f 
 
 Not noticing my flippancy, she came over 
 with two of the little flowers and held them 
 up for me to see. 
 
 1 They look like something very pretty, Mi 
 nerva. What do they remind you of?" 
 
 "A pair of pants," said Minerva, with a 
 loud laugh. 
 
 "Dutchmen s breeches, do you mean?" said
 
 MORE NATURE STUDY 201 
 
 Ethel. "Oh, I see what you mean. Yes, 
 they are like little knickerbockers, but they 
 remind me of Japanese lanterns. Now, Mi 
 nerva, the woods and the fields are full of 
 plants like these and they all have names and 
 each has a beauty of its own " 
 
 "What s Dutchmen s breeches?" inter 
 rupted Minerva. She had been to the Con 
 tinuous many times and I think that Dutch 
 men s breeches brought to her mind a pair, 
 of knockabout comedians. 
 
 "Do you think there are any in this field, 
 Philip?" said Ethel. 
 
 "You have got me, Ethel. I forget each 
 summer the names of the flowers I learned 
 the summer before. Seems to me Dutch 
 men s breeches is an early spring flower." 
 
 No, I think it comes in the late fall to tell 
 the truth. We ll look it up." 
 
 She turned to the index, which referred her 
 to the 37th page. Minerva looked over her 
 shoulder in the way she should not have done 
 and no sooner did she see the flower picture 
 than she said, 
 
 "Oh, Lawdy, that makes me homesick. 
 I ve seen that in the park."
 
 202 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 "Oh, surely not," said Ethel. "Let s see 
 what it says." 
 
 * Mmmmmm, she mumbled over the early 
 part of the description and then she came to, 
 The flower when seen explains its two Eng 
 lish titles. It is accessible to every New 
 Yorker, for in early April it whitens many of 
 the shaded ledges in the upper part of the 
 Central Park. Why, you were right, Mi 
 nerva. I dare say you know more about such 
 things than I do." 
 
 "Why, Mis. Vernon, I haven any grudge 
 aginst country if o ny city is a few blocks off. 
 My, if I could run down now an see my folks 
 I d bring em up here to-morrer. I used to 
 go to the park often my day out, but the city s 
 all around it an up here the country s so big 
 it oh, Lawdy, what was that 1 
 
 It was a flash of lightning, followed by a 
 clap of thunder that told us a storm was close 
 at hand. 
 
 "Ooh, let s get under the trees," said Mi 
 nerva, her face showing abject terror. 
 
 "That would be the last thing to do," 
 said I.
 
 MORE NATURE STUDY 203 
 
 "Well, let s do it first, then," said she, all 
 unconscious of the witticism. 
 
 The black clouds had been coming swiftly 
 and now in the southwest we heard the noise 
 of rain. We could see it falling on Egerton 
 and could mark its approach up the hills to 
 where we were standing. 
 
 The flashes of lightning grew more blind 
 ing and the thunder claps followed more and 
 more quickly. We were in for a wetting, that 
 was sure. 
 
 Minerva threw herself on her face in the 
 soft moss and began to pray, "Oh, Lawd," 
 said she; "Don t send any messengers to take 
 me, out here in the country. Let me go back 
 to the city befo Oh, Lawdy." This break 
 in the prayer was caused by a flash, and a peal 
 that were almost simultaneous, and down in 
 a forest of walnuts below us there was a 
 sound of riven wood. 
 
 "Dear, I wish we were home," said Ethel, 
 drawing a long breath and coming close to 
 me. 
 
 "Well, we are probably safer here than at 
 home. It ll be over soon." 
 
 And now the rain came down in sheets.
 
 204 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 We were wet to the skin in two minutes. Mi 
 nerva in a heap on the ground moaned and 
 prayed and ejaculated and Ethel clung to me 
 and shuddered at each awful peal and each 
 blinding flash. My clothes hung in bags 
 about me and leaked at a dozen points. 
 
 The display was magnificent, but I did not 
 see the beauty in it that I saw when I was a 
 boy. Then I was not frightened. Now each 
 summer the storms seem to be worse and 
 more awe-inspiring, and to tell the truth, so 
 many of our friends have suffered loss from 
 thunder storms that I would be perfectly 
 willing to forego them in future. 
 
 The storm departed suddenly, even as it 
 had come, and when the rumbling grew 
 fainter Minerva rose to her feet. 
 
 A call came to us from the road. We 
 looked up and saw James, also soaked to the 
 skin, sitting in Bert s buggy. 
 
 At the sound of his voice Minerva gave a 
 glad cry and started to run to him. 
 
 He made a trumpet of his hands and said, 
 "Mrs. Vernon, you and Mr. Vernon drive and 
 Minerva and me 11 walk." 
 
 I considered a minute and then thinking
 
 MORE NATURE STUDY 205 
 
 that Ethel ran a greater risk of catching cold 
 if she rode than if she walked, I shook my 
 head and told Minerva to run along. 
 
 We took one or two steps in the sloppy 
 moss and our shoes spurted water. 
 
 "Let s go barefoot," said I. "It will be 
 much more comfortable." 
 
 We took off our shoes and stockings, and 
 for the first time in many years we walked 
 the country barefoot. Perhaps it was 
 Ethel s first experience of the joy. To judge 
 from her face it was. But we picked out soft 
 places and by the time we reached the house 
 we were already somewhat dried, nor did we 
 get any ill effects. 
 
 "Ethel," said I, "what was that white 
 thing Minerva brought to sew on?" 
 
 "A wedding veil," said Ethel.
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 WHEN THE LAW IS ON. 
 
 Ethel was out in the little orchard south 
 of the house with Minerva, looking for 
 "queen s lace." She had two purposes in 
 mind. To teach Minerva something more of 
 nature and to make a conventionalized design 
 of the ground plan of the flower for use in her 
 everlasting embroidery. 
 
 "Mis. Vernon." 
 
 "What is it, Minerva?" 
 
 "Don t the apples we have in the city come 
 from the country?" 
 
 "Why, yes," said Ethel. 
 
 She told me of the conversation later, I 
 being at the time fishing for trout (in all in 
 nocence) with James (who knew the law). 
 
 "Well, then, how come that apples here is 
 so little and city apples is so big?" 
 
 "Why," said Ethel, "these haven t grown 
 yet." 
 
 206
 
 WHEN THE LAW IS ON 207 
 
 * Do they grow on the tree f said Minerva. 
 
 "Why, certainly. You surely didn t sup 
 pose that they grew after they were picked." 
 
 "But the stems is so little that I wouldn t 
 think they d hold apples like I see in the 
 grocery stores." 
 
 "Why, but the stems grow, too." 
 
 "Oh," said Minerva. 
 
 Minerva s ignorance of common things was 
 a never-ending marvel. 
 
 "Who do you pay for these apples, Mis. 
 Vernon," she went on. 
 
 < < Why, nobody. They go with the house. 
 
 And then Minerva gave utterance to a wise 
 remark. 
 
 "Ain t it queer, Mis. Vernon, that in the 
 country, where you don t have to pay for ap 
 ples, every man has apple trees of his own, 
 and in the city, where you do have to pay, 
 nobody has any!" 
 
 "Just what do you mean?" said Ethel, 
 wishing (as she told me) to draw out Mi 
 nerva s thought. 
 
 "Why, I mean poor people in the city has 
 to pay for apples, an in the country people
 
 208 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 don t have to pay for em, but it don t do no 
 good, because they have their own trees. 
 
 "Well, but if they didn t have their own 
 trees, they would have to pay for them, said 
 Ethel, puzzled. 
 
 * Yas m, but people in the city, if they had 
 trees, I mean poor people, then they 
 wouldn t have to pay for apples and they 
 could use their money for somethin else, and 
 people in the country has more money than 
 poor people in the city, and they don t have 
 to spend it on apples, because they have em 
 on their own trees. 
 
 1 Oh, I see, said Ethel. l You mean that 
 it doesn t seem fair that poor people in the 
 city, who would appreciate apples on their 
 own trees, if they had them, have to pay for 
 apples, while in the country people who could 
 afford to pay for apples don t have to, but 
 can go out and pick them. 
 
 "Yas m," said Minerva. "I guess that s 
 what I meant." 
 
 1 1 Yes, said Ethel. * That must have been 
 just what you meant. There are a great 
 many things that we can t understand about 
 those things, but you know that farmers sell
 
 WHEN THE LAW IS ON 209 
 
 their apples to the people in the city, and 
 that s one of the ways they make their 
 money. 
 
 Minerva thought a minute. "Apples on 
 the stands in the city sells for five cents, and 
 I ve seen rows of trees up here full of ap 
 ples." 
 
 "They call them orchards," said Ethel. 
 
 "Why don t they call them apples!" asked 
 Minerva. 
 
 "No, no, the rows of trees are called or 
 chards, and if the farmers could sell the ap 
 ples for five cents apiece they would make a 
 great deal of money, but they sell them to 
 other men, who sell them to others, and they 
 sell them to the men who keep the apple 
 stands. The farmers don t get a cent apiece 
 for them." 
 
 Minerva s mind must have been in good 
 working order that day, for she now said, 
 
 "If the poor people in the city knew they 
 could get them for nothing they would all 
 come to the country. An , Mis. Vernon," 
 said she, with a characteristic chuckle, "If 
 the farmers knew they sold for five cents in
 
 210 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 the city they d take em down theirselves and 
 sell em." 
 
 Even Minerva felt that the middle man was 
 an excrescence. 
 
 They were still hunting for the queen s 
 lace when I returned with what was for me 
 a fine string of trout. James had taken his 
 string home. 
 
 "Oh, what beauties. Did James catch 
 them for you?" said Ethel. "We ll have 
 them for lunch." Minerva took the forked 
 stick that held the half dozen, not one less 
 than eight inches in length, and as soon as 
 she had left, Ethel told me of her thoughtful 
 conversation. She also told me that she de 
 spaired of getting any queen s lace. 
 
 "I must send to the seedsman for some 
 seeds and sprinkle it in the grass so that we 
 may have some next year." 
 
 "Do so," said I with the tone that fits 
 superior knowledge. "Do so, and help fill 
 the cell of a model Massachusetts prison. 
 Don t you know that that s wild carrot and 
 it s counted as big a nuisance as the Canada 
 thistle. Don t you know we d be fined?" 
 
 "Well, certainly farmers don t know a
 
 WHEN THE LAW IS ON 211 
 
 beautiful thing when they see it," said Ethel 
 jumping to an illogical conclusion. "Are 
 you sure that it is a nuisance? It grew all 
 over the grass in Barnham. " 
 
 "Yes, and they were shiftless people in 
 that place. Here, give me your nature book. 
 I took it and soon found the page. "Here it 
 is: This is, perhaps, the "peskiest" of all 
 the weeds with which he has to contend. 
 The farmer may think it s beautiful, but it 
 isn t beauty so much as a living that he is 
 after. We have to obey the laws in a civ 
 ilized state like Massachusetts. It s a pun 
 ishable offence to let it grow." 
 
 "Well, I don t see how it could harm just 
 on this place. Nobody farms it very near 
 us." 
 
 "No, but the wind has a way of carrying 
 seeds, Ethel," said I, sarcastically. "It was 
 the way of the wind with a seed that first 
 suggested rural delivery, I have no doubt. 
 Who is that talking to Minerva?" 
 
 It was a man who, driving by, had stopped 
 and hailed her, and had now left his horse 
 in the middle of the road and had gone over 
 to her.
 
 212 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 We could not hear what he said, but we saw 
 her suddenly put her two hands behind her 
 back as if to conceal her string of fish. 
 
 I hurried over to the man, followed by 
 Ethel. 
 
 "Are those trout," said the man, care 
 lessly. 
 
 "No, they re fishes," said Minerva, in a 
 tone of contempt for his ignorance. 
 
 "Yes, they re trout?" said I. "Why do 
 you want to know?" 
 
 There was something in his manner that 
 I did not like. 
 
 "Who caught those trout," said he. 
 
 I felt like saying, "I, said the fly with my 
 hook and eye," but I really did say "I caught 
 them. Have you any objections?" 
 
 "Decidedly," said he, his manner becom 
 ing stern and official. "I am the game 
 warden, and this is the middle of July. The 
 law went on on July 1st. I can arrest you." 
 
 There seemed to be something cockily 
 pompous about this man, who was not above 
 five feet high, but whose erectness of bearing 
 and awesome manner made him seem (to him 
 self) at least six feet two in his stocking feet.
 
 WHEN THE LAW IS ON 213 
 
 So when he said "I can arrest yon," I said, 
 "And will you?" and felt quite Shakespear 
 ean as I said it. It recalled the scene be 
 tween Arthur and Hubert de Burgh. 
 
 "Well," said he, seeing that I stirred not, 
 "Perhaps it can be settled out of court. As 
 game warden I can sell you the right to have 
 caught those fish." 
 
 "Oh, that s it, is it?" said I, "Bribery and 
 corruption. And in Massachusetts. Well, I 
 don t believe I care to buy the right. I went 
 out fishing this morning not knowing of the 
 law. Ignorance of the law is no excuse, I 
 know that, but the point is, that if I have got 
 to pay out money I prefer to pay it in a fine 
 than to pay it to you for a right you can t 
 give me. The law makes no distinction, if 
 I know anything about laws" (and I know 
 precious little) "and if I mustn t catch trout 
 out of season, I mustn t catch em, that s all. 
 Lead me to prison." 
 
 I said this in mock heroics and he in his 
 turn said, 
 
 "Well, of course, I didn t mean to take a 
 bribe. You misunderstood me. As game 
 warden I own the fish. I represent the state
 
 214 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 and the state owns the fish, therefore I own 
 them. Now you have caught some of my fish. 
 I can t sell you the right to catch them, very 
 true, but I can sell you the fish now that they 
 are caught." 
 
 Minerva s hands had fallen to her sides and 
 he now took the string from her, while she 
 was off her guard, and said : 
 
 "There are six of them. This season of 
 the year they are worth fifty cents apiece for 
 the males and a dollar for the females." 
 
 I laughed in his face. 
 
 "My dear man, if you think I am going to 
 pay anywhere from three to six dollars for 
 a fish lunch you are mistaken. I d rather 
 throw away the fish and pay my fine like a 
 man." 
 
 "You can t throw them away," said he, de 
 fiantly; "I have the fish and possession is 
 nine points of the law. Did you have an 
 aider and abettor?" 
 
 "I refuse to answer," said I. 
 
 He turned quickly on Minerva. "Did your 
 master go out with anyone!" 
 
 "I didn t see him go out," said Minerva, 
 sullenly. It was plain to be seen that her
 
 WHEN THE LAW IS ON 215 
 
 sympathies were not with the myrmidon of 
 the law. 
 
 "I am not afraid of this law," said I. "I 
 fished innocently and I am willing to pay the 
 fine. I will also consider it my duty to tell 
 the judge that you attempted to compromise 
 with me on a money basis." 
 
 His manner changed in a twinkling. See 
 here," said he. "You re a stranger up here 
 and you re from the city. It s easy to see 
 that. I 11 tell you what I 11 do. 
 
 He walked slowly over to his wagon, hold 
 ing the string of fish in front of him, while 
 he gazed at them thoughtfully. He climbed 
 into the wagon and seemed to be hunting for 
 something under the seat. He soon found 
 it. It was the whip. He applied it to the 
 horse and the animal responded in a spurt 
 of speed that took him out of sight before 
 we realized what had happened. 
 
 Our fish lunch was gone. 
 
 "I m glad it ended that way," said Ethel. 
 I looked at her and saw that she was rather 
 pale. "It would have been dreadful if he 
 had arrested you." 
 
 "I think I d like to be the game warden,"
 
 216 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 said I, "if people generally are innocent of 
 the law. But he was afraid of my bribery 
 talk. * 
 
 It may have been five minutes later that 
 Bert drove over to the house on his way to 
 town. He had with him another dish of 
 brains. 
 
 "Bert," said I, "When does the law on 
 trout go on?" 
 
 "First of July," said he. 
 
 "What s the name of the game warden?" 
 
 "Why, father. Been fishin ?" said he, 
 with a laugh. 
 
 "Yes, but that wasn t your father that you 
 must have just passed. 
 
 "No," said he. "That s Cy Holden." 
 He laughed reminiscently. "Cy s a great 
 boy." 
 
 "How is he great?" 
 
 "Oh, he s always playing practical jokes," 
 said he. 
 
 "Much obliged for the brains," said I. 
 "We ll have them for lunch."
 
 CHAPTER XVII 
 
 THE STORY OF A PIPE. 
 
 I suppose that there are prettier places in 
 the world than western Massachusetts, al 
 though I should consider it a profitless task 
 to try to find them, but whether it arose from 
 the beauty of the scenery or the witchery of 
 the mountain air, certain it is that we have 
 never stayed at a country place that exer 
 cised such a charm over us as did the rolling 
 hills and valleys around Clover Lodge. 
 Ethel was not less under its influence than 
 I, and we have seen how Minerva, coming 
 there with an evident and pronounced dis 
 gust for it, was now coming to look on it as 
 home. 
 
 All the events connected with that summer 
 resolved themselves in the retrospect into 
 something agreeable. The visits in turn of 
 the burglar, the sheriff, and the "game 
 warden" furnished us food for pleasant 
 
 217
 
 218 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 talk, and our early and frantic attempts to 
 keep Minerva satisfied did not seem as tragic 
 when looked at from the latter end of July 
 as they did in the happening. 
 
 It was a few days after our loss of the de 
 licious trout lunch that we received an un 
 expected call from a neighbour. 
 
 It was an unusually hot night for Clover 
 Lodge. Ordinarily a blanket was not too 
 much, no matter how warm the day, and there 
 were nights in July when two blankets were 
 necessary, but this night was breathless, and 
 so hot that a sheet would have felt like hot 
 metal. 
 
 We had retired to rest, but found that rest 
 was impossible. It was a night in which to 
 deplore good circulation and wish for cold 
 feet. 
 
 It may have been twelve o clock; it may 
 have been much later we had no striking 
 clock in the house when we heard uncertain 
 steps on the graveled walk. They came 
 nearer and nearer, and at last a foot slid 
 along the floor of the porch, followed by a 
 reluctant mate, a heavy hand fell against the 
 door and an over-mellow voice called out,
 
 THE STORY OF A PIPE 219 
 
 "You wake, papa?" 
 
 I was only too wide awake, but I had no 
 children, so I did not think it necessary to 
 answer his question. 
 
 A muttering arose and then a louder query 
 as to whether "papa" was awake. 
 
 "Who can it be?" said Ethel. 
 
 "Some one who believes in local option. 
 I wish he d go away." 
 
 "Papa. Papa. It s on y me. I wan a 
 borrer mash." 
 
 1 What does he want f said Ethel. 
 
 "He wants a match." 
 
 "Oh, tell him to go away. He ll set the 
 house afire." 
 
 "How can he set the house afire if he hasn t 
 a match? It rests with me whether he sets 
 anything afire." 
 
 I called out in as stentorian a tone as my 
 lungs would allow me to muster, "Go away. 
 Go home." 
 
 My voice was encouragement to the tired 
 wayfarer. 
 
 "Oh, papa. Was frai you was sleep. 
 Papa, blizh me wi a mash. Mine wen out. 
 wan a ligh a pipe."
 
 220 MINEEVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 I got out of bed. The moon had about 
 ended its lighting services for the night, but 
 I could see the form of a man sitting on the 
 porch seat, his head swaying from side to side 
 and as I looked he again lifted up his voice 
 and said, 
 
 "Papa, don you hear me I Be neighbourly, 
 papa. 
 
 "I don t find any matches," said, I with a 
 fine Puritanical regard for the letter of the 
 truth. I found none because I did not look 
 for them. 
 
 My denial of his request worked on the 
 sensibilities of my unknown neighbour to such 
 an extent that he was moved to tears. Amid 
 his maudlin sobs he said, 
 
 "Pa a, if you came to my house in dea 
 night an as me for mash I d leshu have one. 
 I m kin hearted, pa a. On y one mash I as 
 an pa a refuses. My pipe gone out an 
 pa a has box s mashes an he can fin one." 
 
 It did seem a little like a disobliging spirit 
 and I moved to the bureau to get one, but 
 Ethel said, 
 
 "Don t give him one. He ll set himself on
 
 THE STORY OF A PIPE 221 
 
 fire or else set fire to the grass. Tell him 
 to go away." 
 
 Ethel has a horror of drunken gentlemen 
 or even drunken men, who are not gentlemen, 
 and I could do no more than respect her 
 wishes. 
 
 I leaned out of the window and said in very 
 much the tone one would assume in talking to 
 a wilful little dog, 
 
 "Now go home. Go right home. You 
 may catch cold if you stay here. I can t let 
 you have a match." 
 
 "Papa, if I caught cold ni like this I d 
 know wha do with it. Mos hot nough to 
 ligh my pipe. Goo bye, papa. Mos un- 
 neighbourly, papa." He rose from his seat 
 and swayed down the walk until he came to 
 the gate. 
 
 "Papa, I shut your gate for you. No har* 
 feelin s, papa. Mos unneighbourly, but I 
 shu 7 your gate." 
 
 And muttering and stumbling, he went 
 along to his home. 
 
 Ethel, with an absence of logic that must 
 have been due to the heat, lay awake for an 
 hour in fear that the matchless man would
 
 222 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 set fire to the house in revenge, but we did 
 not hear from him again. 
 
 Next morning I found a pipe in the grass 
 not far from the gate. I said nothing about 
 it to Ethel, but when opportunity offered I 
 showed it to James and asked him if he knew 
 whose it was. 
 
 "Looks like Sam Adams s," said he. 
 "Yes, there s S. A. scratched on the bowl." 
 
 I knew Sam Adams (fictitious name) to be 
 a hard working farmer of some thirty years 
 of age, a young married man with an adoring 
 wife and pretty baby and with a lack of tact 
 that I have never ceased to wonder at I re 
 solved to restore the pipe to him. I learned 
 from Bert that once in a while he would go 
 down to Grange Meeting and would stop on 
 the way back for beverages that he did not 
 need. 
 
 The opportunity soon offered itself. I 
 was out walking by myself one Sunday after 
 noon and I came on him inspecting some 
 buckwheat that was coming along finely. 
 
 I leaned on the fence that separated us and 
 passed the time of day with him. 
 
 He was cordial, as he always was.
 
 THE STORY OF A PIPE 223 
 
 * Nice hay weather, said I, a phrase that 
 I had picked up very easily and worked a 
 good deal. 
 
 "Yes, if it wasn t the Sabbath," said he, 
 "or if my grass land was a leetle further 
 away. 
 
 Mr. Adams, said I, " I picked something 
 up the other day that I think belongs to you. 
 
 His manner, which had been warm, became 
 frigid as he said, "I guess not. I haven t 
 missed anything. 
 
 "Isn t this yours?" said I, producing the 
 pipe. 
 
 He looked me coldly in the eye and said, "I 
 never saw that before." 
 
 I, on my part, saw something that I had 
 not seen before. I put the pipe into my 
 pocket, feeling that I had put my foot in it. 
 
 Anxious to make amends, I pulled out a 
 cigar and said, "Have one." 
 
 Relaxing, he accepted it and biting off the 
 end he put it in his mouth. 
 
 "Got a match," said I without thinking. 
 
 "Thank you, yes," said he turning away 
 his head.
 
 224 
 
 I lighted a cigar and we puffed silently for 
 a minute or two. 
 
 "Weather s been hot enough lately, to 
 drive a man to drink, " said I. "Better take 
 your pipe and think no more about it. 
 
 "Thank you," said he, as he put it into 
 his pocket. And we became good friends 
 from that hour.
 
 CHAPTER XVHI. 
 
 WE FIND A PIANO. 
 
 As matters were now running so swim 
 mingly with us, Ethel invited an old school 
 friend of hers to come and pay us a visit. 
 
 Miss Paxton, "Cherry," as most of her 
 friends call her, is an unusually talented 
 woman. She can draw very well indeed, and 
 she can play the piano in an almost profes 
 sional way. Tall and slender, with a facial 
 animation that is almost beauty, she is a gen 
 eral favorite by virtue of her buoyant spirits 
 and readiness for whatever is going on. 
 
 When Minerva heard that she was coming 
 up she clapped her hands and said, 
 
 "My-6h-my\ I m glad to hear she s comin . 
 Now we will have music. 
 
 She meant piano music, for Miss Paxton 
 did not sing. But we had no piano. 
 
 225
 
 226 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 I had not thought it worth while to get one, 
 because Ethel, while very fond of music and 
 with a cultivated taste for it, is not able to 
 play. Her father thought that so many peo 
 ple now-a-days play the piano badly, that it 
 was just as well not to play it at all, and he 
 would never hear of her taking lessons. 
 
 As Miss Paxton was only going to be up 
 a week, it did not seem to be worth while send 
 ing to Springfield for a piano. I did not 
 know at the time that there was a wareroom 
 in Egerton. 
 
 We talked it over, Ethel and I, and we 
 came to the conclusion that we would help 
 Cherry to enjoy herself without music 
 unless she should show an unexpected predi 
 lection for the accordeon, in which case we 
 had no doubt that Minerva would lend her her 
 instrument. 
 
 Cherry was coming on a Saturday, and 
 we were to drive to Egerton to meet her. 
 
 Friday afternoon we went to call on Mrs. 
 Hartlett, an old lady, who was in her hun 
 dredth year, and in almost complete posses 
 sion of her faculties. 
 
 I feel that I owe it to Mrs. Hartlett to
 
 WE FIND A PIANO 227 
 
 give some account of our visit to her, al 
 though the real object of this chapter is to 
 tell what was happening during our absence 
 from home. 
 
 Mrs. Hartlett was a widow, her husband 
 having died eighty-one years before. 
 
 "Just think of it, Philip," said Ethel, as 
 we began to descend the little hill at the foot 
 of which Mrs. Hartlett lived with a grand 
 daughter, a woman verging on sixty years, 
 and almost as old looking as her grand 
 mother. 
 
 "Just think of it; for the best part of her 
 life Mrs. Hartlett has had a young husband." 
 
 "What do you mean?" said I, not at once 
 seeing her drift. 
 
 Why, the memory of her husband is that 
 of a young man. They said he was only 
 twenty-two when he died, and for over eighty 
 years she has had that picture in her mem 
 ory. 
 
 "It s probably kept tier young," said I. 
 
 We found her sitting outside of her door 
 under a grape arbour, knitting. Her face was 
 thin and her cheek bones high and the skin 
 was drawn tightly, but its colour had a remi-
 
 niscence of the rosy shade that had (so tra 
 dition said) made her a beauty "in the days 
 when Madison was president." 
 
 She was erect, and despite a slight tremb- 
 ling of her frame, she looked strong. 
 
 "We thought we d come and see you and 
 bring you some sweet peas," said Ethel. 
 
 "It is very good of you," said she, in a 
 voice which though cracked had a pleasant 
 ring of sincerity in it. "You are the Ver- 
 nons, are you not?" 
 
 I was surprised that so old a soul should 
 be enough interested in things to know who 
 transient summer people were, but I suppose 
 it was that very interest in things that had 
 kept her faculties unimpaired. 
 
 As I looked at her I felt proud of New Eng 
 land. Perfectly self-possessed, abundantly 
 able to hold her own in conversation, re 
 spected by all and self-respecting, she was a 
 type of that native cultivation that made the 
 hill towns a source of strength to the nation, 
 before the coming of steam cars that drew 
 the young men and maidens from the hills 
 and sent them forth to carry New England 
 traditions to the West,
 
 WE FIND A PIANO 229 
 
 "Yes, so you ve heard of us." 
 
 "Oh, yes, the young people come in and 
 keep me informed of all passing matters," 
 said she, talking slowly and evidently choos 
 ing her words with care. 
 
 "Pray be seated," said she quaintly, and 
 we took seats under the pleasant grape ar 
 bour. 
 
 Suddenly a canary, whose cage hung in the 
 centre of the arbour, burst into a roulade that 
 had something of the bubbling ecstacy of a 
 bobolink s note. 
 
 Mrs. Hartlett looked up at him and smiled. 
 
 "He is a source of comfort to me," said 
 she. "He sings as long as the sun shines. 
 Last winter he was mute for upwards of a 
 week, and I feared that I was going to lose 
 him, but it was only that he was moulting. 
 "When his new coat had come he began singing 
 again and in spite of the fact that he has no 
 mate he is happy." 
 
 Two mateless creatures and both of them 
 happy. It s all in the temperament. 
 
 "How do you like it up on these hills?" 
 said Mrs. Hartlett. 
 
 "Very much," said Ethel. "It is so quiet
 
 230 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 and there are so few houses that it s a pleas 
 ant contrast to our noisy, busy New York 
 life." 
 
 " Child, I remember when this was a busy 
 community, too," said the old lady. "When 
 I was a young lady of eighteen, we had a 
 singing school here and Dr. Lowell Mason 
 used to come from Boston every two weeks 
 to teach us, and there were two hundred 
 young people of both sexes who gathered in 
 the seminary to learn of him." 
 
 "You had a seminary here?" said I, aston 
 ished, for the district school of the present 
 day is the only school in the neighbourhood, 
 and it does not accommodate more than 
 twenty-five. 
 
 "Indeed we did; a seminary and a college 
 for chirurgeons. Dr. Hadley was the best 
 chirurgeon of his time and young men from 
 all over New England used to come here to 
 learn of him. Times have changed, but if the 
 houses have fallen away and the people gone 
 the country has grown more beautiful." 
 
 "How do you pass the time?" 
 
 "With my magazines and my young 
 friends. I have taken Litt ell s Living Age
 
 WE FIND A PIANO 231 
 
 and the Atlantic ever since they started, and 
 they keep me abreast of the times, and the 
 young people are very good. Two years ago 
 they clubbed together and gave me a cabinet 
 organ. I cannot play it myself; my fingers 
 are too stiff, but the young folks come in 
 and play me the old tunes I knew when I 
 was a girl " Drink to Me Only With Thine 
 Eyes," and many others that are never heard 
 now, I suspect, Mr. and Mrs. Hayden are 
 especially kind in coming to sing to me but all 
 the young people are very thoughtful." 
 
 It was not until later that I realized that 
 the "young people" she had specified were 
 considerably over fifty. But she was right. 
 Youth is a relative term. 
 
 Do you walk about much 1 
 
 "When my rheumatism permits of walking. 
 My knees are somewhat rheumatic but it is 
 no more than I might reasonably expect at my 
 great age. I shall be one hundred years old 
 on the 16th of September next if the Lord 
 spares me." 
 
 There was a gleam of pride in her eyes as 
 she said this. She was striving for a goal.
 
 232 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 We rose to go soon after, fearing that we 
 might tire her if we stayed too long. 
 
 "Oh, don t go yet," said she, half rising 
 and putting out her mitted hand. * You have 
 barely come. I want that you should see my 
 cat. I am quite proud of my cat. She was 
 given to me by a play actor who spent last 
 summer here. I was brought up to consider 
 play acting an abomination to the Lord but 
 we live and learn and this gentleman was an 
 honest, God-fearing man although he has been 
 a play actor ever since his youth. I cannot 
 recall his name. Names have a way of going 
 from one. It is one of the defects of age with 
 which we must be patient. 
 
 "Pussy, pussy," said she, calling in falset 
 to. 
 
 Whether in answer to the call or merely 
 because Her Independence decided that it was 
 time for her to come out and stroll about I 
 cannot say but at that minute a most magnifi 
 cent Angora jumped heavily from a chair in 
 the sitting room (as I saw from my seat un 
 der the arbour) and walked out to us. She 
 walked over to Ethel and sniffed her dress 
 and passed her by. Then she came to me and
 
 WE FIND A PIANO 233 
 
 sniffed my trouser leg and arching her back 
 she rubbed against me and began to purr in 
 tremendous fashion, quite like a young lion. 
 
 The old lady laughed cheerily. 
 
 "She always shows a penchant for gentle 
 men," said she. "You never will guess her 
 name. The play actor named her. 
 
 "Lady Macbeth?" said I, quite at a ven 
 ture. 
 
 "Why, my sakes," said Mrs. Hartlett. 
 "You are right. You must be a Yankee. 
 You know we are said to be able to guess al 
 most anything." 
 
 "Well, if I m not a Yankee born I m one in 
 spirit. My ancestors came from Connecti 
 cut." 
 
 "The land of steady habits. Stop, Mac 
 beth. Don t let her sharpen her claws in that 
 fashion. I call her Macbeth half the time 
 although she has a much better character 
 than Macbeth had." 
 
 So you read Shakespeare ? said I. 
 
 "I never did until in recent years. The 
 pastor we had a few years back, in 65, I 
 think it was, told me that there was much in 
 him that would repay me and I have found it
 
 234 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 so. I sometimes think that we of the last cen 
 tury were narrow. It came about from our 
 isolation. The easier modes of getting about 
 have made us better acquainted with our 
 world neighbours." 
 
 I signalled to Ethel and we again rose. 
 
 Do you feel that you must go?" said Mrs. 
 Hartlett. "I thank you for coming and I am 
 sorry that I cannot offer you something in 
 the way of refreshment but my granddaugh 
 ter has gone to town and I find that it does 
 not do for me to try to handle cups and sau 
 cers and glasses for my old wrists are tired of 
 service and they play me strange tricks." 
 
 We shook hands with the old lady and as 
 we came away she said : 
 
 "When you can find nothing better worth 
 doing come and see me. 
 
 Well, she is the real thing, said I as we 
 got out of hearing. 
 
 "Ninety-nine years young and growing 
 younger every year. Think of her hobnob 
 bing with a play actor. I wonder who he 
 was." 
 
 "Why, but aren t actors all right?" asked 
 Ethel.
 
 WE FIND A PIANO 235 
 
 "Yes, they are if they are, but you don t 
 know what it meant for her, brought up as 
 she had been, to acknowledge that an actor 
 might be a good man. It showed great inde 
 pendence of mind. 
 
 "What poise she had," said Ethel. 
 
 * She could stand before kings. 
 
 * And the kings might well feel honoured. * 
 
 We walked slowly back as Ethel was trying 
 to see how many kinds of wild flowers she 
 could pick. Mrs. Dana s book had had an 
 effect upon her she had not anticipated and 
 I was afraid that she was going to become a 
 botanist and talk about pistils and stamens, 
 and things. 
 
 I believe she had picked twenty-five differ 
 ent "weeds," as the farmers thereabouts 
 called them, when she stopped and stood erect 
 and listened. , 
 
 "Where s that piano?" 
 
 "Is it a piano," said I, not willing to be 
 lieve the evidence of my ears. We were 
 about ten rods from our house and there is 
 not another house nearer than a quarter of a 
 mile and no piano within a half mile.
 
 236 MINEEVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 It certainly is a piano and in our house, 
 said she. 
 
 What we had heard were preliminary 
 chords and now to a bang-bang accompani 
 ment we heard the pleasing lyric, "Hannah, 
 Won t You Open That Door," and recognized 
 the voice as that of James. 
 
 "First a crimson rambler and now a 
 piano," said I. "I suppose he planted a few 
 keys and the piano sprang up quickly." 
 
 "Well, what does it mean?" 
 
 "It means," said I, "that, however it may 
 have happened, we have a piano in the house 
 and Cherry can play when she comes. 
 
 We now noticed wheel tracks, some of them 
 on our lawn and we knew that James had not 
 worked a miracle but that the piano had 
 come to the house by very human agencies. 
 A broken plant showed where a horse s hoof 
 had toyed with it. 
 
 Our appearance on the path was the signal 
 for the music to stop and Minerva came to the 
 door perfectly radiant. 
 
 "It s come, ma am. The pianner has 
 come," said she, her eyes dancing with de 
 light.
 
 WE FIND A PIANO 237 
 
 "Well, who sent it?" said I. 
 
 James had come out. 
 
 "Where did the piano come from, James?" 
 
 "I do no, sir," said he. "I found it here 
 when I come up to the house." 
 
 Why, it come in a wagon, said Minerva. 
 
 She looked me in the eye and then she gave 
 one of her chuckles. 
 
 "Say, Mist. Vernon, didn you order it?" 
 
 "No, "said I. 
 
 She clapped her hands rapturously. 
 "Then you can thank me for it, Mist. Ver 
 non and we ll have music when Miss Cherry 
 comes. I half knowed he didn t mean it for 
 here but I wanted it." 
 
 "What do you mean, Minerva? Tell us 
 what happened." 
 
 "Why, it was this way. I was moppin de 
 kitchen an I see a man pass the winder, an* 
 I thought maybe it was tramps, an I clinched 
 the mop an got ready to run, an a man 
 comes to the back-kitchen door an asks where 
 he s to put the pianner. 
 
 " What pianner? says I. Why, the on y 
 pianner we ve brought, says he, for Mr. 
 Werner. "
 
 238 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 " Vernon, says I. Well, Vernon, says 
 he, * Where 11 I put it, says he, and I says, 
 Right in the parlour, and I walked thoo to 
 show him, and he went out to the other man 
 an they unstrapped it an like to ha broke 
 the porch floor gettin it in, an they set it up 
 an unlocked it an then they gev me the 
 recippy to sign an it was written on it, Mr. 
 H. Werner, but I thought as long as the 
 pianner was up an you d like it I wouldn t 
 tell em they d made a mistake, an I signed 
 the recippy an they drove off." 
 
 I looked at Ethel. 
 
 "It s fate," said she. 
 
 "Do you know where it came from?" said 
 I to Minerva. 
 
 No, sir. From that away. 
 
 "Oh, there s only one place," spoke up 
 James: "It came from Hill s in Egerton. 
 He rents em. 
 
 It was a time when quick thought would be 
 a good thing. "James," said I, "you go 
 right down to Hill s and tell him that he sent 
 a piano to me by mistake but that I want to 
 keep it, and that he d better send another to
 
 WE FIND A PIANO 239 
 
 the Werner s before they make a kick about 
 it." 
 
 "Won t we have fun when Cherry comes?" 
 said Ethel after the others had gone and we 
 stood looking at the case that had the poten 
 tiality of so much pleasure in it. 
 
 "Minerva is a treasure," said L
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 TH OULD SCUT. 
 
 I have made mention of the fact that dur 
 ing the haying season horses were difficult to 
 get. We generally relied on Bert, but he 
 was not always able to supply us with a means 
 of conveyance to town. I had counted on 
 him to bring Miss Paxton up, but I had neg 
 lected to say anything to him about it and our 
 telepathic communication was out of kilter, 
 for he never felt my desire, and so it fell out 
 that when at four o clock of Saturday after 
 noon I realized this and Ethel and I went 
 down to his father s to get him to harness 
 up, we learned that he and his father were 
 over in the "east lot" getting in some val 
 uable hay the weather threatening thunder 
 storms and that we could not possibly have 
 either of the horses. 
 
 Here was a pretty how-de-do. 
 
 It was ten minutes after four and the train 
 
 240
 
 TH OULD SCUT 241 
 
 came to Egerton, three miles away, at 4:58. 
 We might walk down and hire a livery team 
 but even at that it would require speed. 
 
 In my dilemma Bert s mother suggested 
 that we try Pat Casey. 
 
 He lives in the little red house beyond the 
 ruins of the old church, said she, and you 
 may be able to hire his horse." 
 
 Across the fields to the little red house we 
 hurried. A short, lithe, nimble-footed man 
 was tossing hay in front of his house. We 
 climbed the last fence and stood before him. 
 
 He looked up and greeted us pleasantly, his 
 eyes twinkling with what looked like sup 
 pressed mischief. 
 
 "Is this Mr. Casey?" 
 
 "I m Pat Casey. Divil a hair I care about 
 the Misther," said he, leaning on his rake 
 and bobbing his head at us. 
 
 "Well," said I, hurriedly, "We want to go 
 down to Egerton to meet a friend who is com 
 ing on the 4:58. Can you let us hire your 
 team?" 
 
 He threw back his head and laughed. 
 
 " Is it hire ? Divil a hire. If ye dare trust
 
 242 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 your legs in me caart you re welkim to use me 
 ould scut of a harse bad scran to her. 
 
 The bad scran" was delivered with a 
 laugh that robbed it of all animosity and set 
 ting his rake against a tree he led the way to 
 a tumble down barn that sheltered a more 
 tumble down dirt cart, and a yet more tumble 
 down horse. It certainly was an "ould 
 scut," whatever that is. It was blind in one 
 eye ; its back seemed trying to showHogarth s 
 line of beauty in the form of a deep curve, 
 and its four legs stood not under its body but 
 at obtuse angles to it, as if it had been stag 
 gering with a heavy weight long enough and 
 was now about to break in two in the middle. 
 
 And yet when Pat slapped the animal on 
 the flank and spoke a word or two to it the 
 horse whinnied and pricked up its ears and 
 looked intelligently out of its only seeing eye, 
 and I judged that it would not be cruelty to 
 animals to take it. 
 
 But when I saw the harness, which was 
 eked out by strings and ropes, when I saw 
 that the cart was literally a dirt cart and that 
 we would have to sit in hay, I decided that we 
 would use the horse only to get us down there
 
 a- 
 
 CO
 
 TH OULD SCUT 243 
 
 and that I would then hire a livery team to 
 bring Cherry up and would pay Pat to go 
 back in it and get his horse. 
 
 "You re sure the horse will be able to pull 
 us down?" said I to Pat. 
 
 "Hell, yes," said he, genially, looking at 
 Ethel as he spoke. "Sure tis gentle as a 
 kitten. Ther wife there d make a pet of 
 um if she had him. Not afred of the trolley 
 caars. Egorry when he was a colt there was 
 not wan finer annywhere. He d be a hell of a 
 fine harse now, sorr, on y fer a shlight weak 
 ness in his back. He s the bye 11 carry you 
 down on time. Don t be afraid of the whip, 
 on y let him see it before you use it an thin 
 he ll know what to expect." 
 
 All the time he was talking he was harness 
 ing the "scut," as he chose to designate it, 
 and I, to save time, ran the cart out. 
 
 "Don t you want to go back, Ethel? 
 
 "No, it ll be loads of fun to go down this 
 way," laughed Ethel, and immediately Pat 
 gave her an encouraging nod of the head and 
 said, "Me leddy, take life as it comes. It s 
 a dam site betther n findin fault. 
 
 I would have resented these strong words
 
 addressed to Mrs. Vernon if he had been 
 somebody else, but his oaths were as harmless 
 and void of offense as the ejaculations of a 
 sunny tempered child. I am not sure that 
 he would have understood the nature of an 
 oath. 
 
 He helped Ethel in with Irish politeness, 
 handed me the dreadful looking reins, and 
 taking off his hat he said : 
 
 "Don t spare um. He s strarng as a as 
 a harse, th ould scut." 
 
 Then he slapped the horse again on the 
 flank and with a "To hell wid ye," addressed 
 to the animal, he went back to his haying and 
 we started on our journey to town. 
 
 The horse could go but I soon learned that 
 he did not regard the whip as anything at all. 
 I showed it to him before using and he pricked 
 his ears each time I showed it, but that was 
 merely as much as to say, "I understand what 
 you mean, but I m doing my best as it is." 
 
 The cart was not easy, but Ethel was out 
 for a lark and she considered our passage in 
 this vehicle in the nature of a lark. For my 
 part I was ashamed of the rig.
 
 TH OULD SCUT 245 
 
 * Remember that you are to dress for din 
 ner," said she. 
 
 "Does this look like dressing for dinner?" 
 said I with a look at the impossible beast in 
 front of me. 
 
 "Well, but Cherry won t see him, and I 
 am sure that she is always used to seeing 
 men dressed for dinner." 
 
 "If I know Cherry Paxton at all she will 
 be glad to be free from all conventions for a 
 short time. I will take her into our room and 
 I will show her my suit all laid out on the bed 
 and I ll ask her to try to realize how I d look 
 if I wore it, and I will be comfortable in an 
 outing shirt and sack coat as usual." 
 
 Further conversation along these lines was 
 stopped at that moment because the beast 
 stepped on its foot, or did something equally 
 absurd, that caused it to limp along on three 
 legs for a few yards and then stop. 
 
 I got out and looked at its hoof somewhat 
 gingerly, for I am not used to horses. It did 
 not seem to be suffering pain but it looked at 
 me out of its well eye and seemed to say, 
 "This is where I stop." 
 
 I climbed into the cart and I tightened the
 
 246 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 reins and clucked and applied the whip, but 
 to no purpose. The horse looked around at 
 me in a languid way, but he refused to budge. 
 
 "Nice," said I, looking at my watch. 
 "Quarter to five, and we ve got at least two 
 miles to go yet. I wonder how Pat starts 
 him." 
 
 "He used languages," said Ethel suggest 
 ively. 
 
 "Thanks. So he did." 
 
 Once more I pulled on the reins, clucked 
 and plupped and whipped (not viciously, but 
 ticklingly) and once more the horse did not 
 move. 
 
 "To hell wid ye," said I suddenly, and it 
 worked like a charm. The old beast took up 
 his ungraceful trot, and we jolted along to the 
 station. 
 
 I had meant to hitch the horse on the out 
 skirts of Egerton and walk up to the station 
 in style, but as we neared the Congregational 
 Church I saw that it lacked but two minutes 
 of train time, and so setting aside pride, in 
 my anxiety to meet our guest, I whipped him 
 up the incline that leads to the station, and 
 just as we drove up to the platform the train
 
 TH OULD SCUT 247 
 
 pulled in, and out of the drawing-room car 
 came Cherry, pretty and pink and smiling. 
 She waved to us and then, when she saw our 
 equipage, she shook her own hands in a man 
 ner indicative of delight, and not waiting 
 for me to come and help her, she ran down the 
 steps of the car and hastened over to us. 
 
 "How lovely," said she, kissing Ethel, but 
 refraining from kissing me. "Are we to go 
 up in it?" 
 
 "Hell, yes," said I, thinking of Pat. 
 
 Ethel frowned at me and explained to 
 Cherry the bad influence under which we had 
 been. 
 
 "No, we re going to get a team to take us 
 up. We only took this because we would 
 have missed the train if we had walked. 
 
 "Don t do any such thing," said Cherry. 
 "It will be perfectly delicious to ride up in 
 a cart, and in that lovely new-mown hay. 
 Mmh, how sweet it smells." 
 
 "No evening clothes for me," thought I, 
 and I was right. Cherry had come up to 
 have a good time and to forget that such a 
 place as New York and its exactions ever 
 existed, and when she had settled herself in
 
 248 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 the hay with her traps all about her and 
 her trunk for her to lean her back against, 
 we started out for the return trip, while Ethel 
 told her of our good luck with the piano. 
 
 I will confess that the inhabitants of Eg- 
 erton eyed us curiously, for Ethel did not 
 look like a carter, and Cherry was very mod 
 ish, and I was not in the costume of a team 
 ster. And we had to stop at the grocery 
 store to get lemons and things. 
 
 Altogether these were not pleasant mo 
 ments, and I was glad when we turned our 
 backs on Egerton and began the ascent of the 
 hills. 
 
 "TV ould scut" was a good walker and 
 he went up the hills as if he smelt his dinner 
 ahead of him. 
 
 "Think of it," said Ethel. "The harness 
 hasn t broken yet ! 
 
 "How perfectly delicious to think of it," 
 said Cherry. "It really looks as if each mo 
 ment would be its next. How was he ever 
 ingenious enough to tie it all together in that 
 fascinating way? He must be a character. 
 I do wish the horse would stop. So you could 
 start him again."
 
 TH OULD SCUT 249 
 
 "No, you mustn t wish that, for my pro 
 fanity is really wicked, while Pat s is as nat 
 ural to him as leaves are to trees. It s part 
 of his growth. I ll tell you what we ll do. 
 We ll go down and hear him swear after 
 dinner. 
 
 We had come to a level place about a quar 
 ter of a mile in extent. The view of the town 
 from which we had left was well worth look 
 ing at, and I was just on the point of stopping 
 the horse that we might see the little city 
 perched on the side of a hill and surrounded 
 by green farms and wide expanses of wood 
 land, when "th* ould scut" stopped of its 
 own accord, began to tremble violently and 
 then broke into a gallop. So quickly did he 
 start that we were all pitched out. By great 
 good fortune not one of us was seriously 
 hurt, although Ethel scraped her wrist, and 
 Cherry bumped her head. I escaped un 
 scathed, and telling the others to follow I 
 started after the horse. 
 
 I soon gave up the chase, however, and sit 
 ting down on a bank I waited for the others. 
 
 "What shall we do? Go back and get a
 
 250 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 team, or walk. It s a mile or more," said I, 
 when they came up. 
 
 "Oh, it s perfectly lovely to walk," said 
 Cherry, and as Ethel said she felt able, walk 
 we did. 
 
 We had gone perhaps two-thirds of the 
 way, looking at every turn for a wrecked cart 
 and a broken legged horse, when we heard the 
 rattle of wheels and saw the horse coming 
 back after us, guided by Pat, himself. 
 
 "Oh, tis the devil s own pity, sure it is," 
 said he when he saw us. "Sure, he had the 
 blind staggers. Why didn t ye bleed him?" 
 said he. 
 
 "How could I bleed him when he ran 
 away?" 
 
 "Oh, well, that s arl he needed," said Pat. 
 "He come runnin in the door yaard, an me 
 woman says, they re kilt, says she. And I 
 whips out me knife an cuts his mout , an 
 he s arl right. Ye d oughter have bled him. 
 Ah, it s a hell of a bad job that it happened 
 ye. Were ye hurrted I 
 
 We assured him that it was all right, and 
 would have continued on foot, but he said 
 the horse had needed bleeding and that she
 
 TH OULD SCUT 251 
 
 was as fresh as a colt now, and he helped the 
 ladies in, gave me the reins, slapped the ani 
 mal s flanks as before, with the same com 
 mand as to his destination, and we drove 
 home in triumph, leaving him to walk.
 
 CHAPTEE XX. 
 
 A MUSICAL TEAMP. 
 
 WE wanted Cherry to play, but we did 
 not feel that we ought to ask her to 
 do it; she would be tired, after her 
 journey, and piano playing to her was no nov 
 elty. 
 
 But when, after dinner, while passing 
 through the sitting room, on our way to the 
 veranda she ran a harmony enticing hand 
 over the keys as she walked by the piano, I 
 could not help saying, 
 
 Don t you feel like following that up with 
 the other hand?" 
 
 She laughed, and sitting down at the piano 
 she said, "Why, certainly. What shall it 
 be?" 
 
 "Oh, we leave that to you," said Ethel. 
 "Play what you like and you ll play what we 
 like." 
 
 Is Grieg getting old fashioned I " I asked. 
 
 1 I never inquired, said Cherry. I don t 
 
 252
 
 A MUSICAL TRAMP 253 
 
 believe in fashions in arts. I liked Grieg, 
 and Schumann, and Beethoven, and Mendels 
 sohn, and Wagner, and Johann Strauss when 
 I was a child, and so I ll always like them. 
 And Grieg is always fresh. "What shall I 
 play Anitra s Dance ?" 
 
 * * Yes, do, said Ethel. I never hear that 
 without thinking of Seidl and Brighton Beach 
 and the throngs of doting Brooklyn women 
 who didn t go to hear the music, but to see 
 Seidl. But it was beautiful music when 
 the roar of the surf didn t drown it. * 
 
 Cherry found the piano stool at just the 
 right height, and without any airs or graces 
 beyond those which were part of her endow 
 ment, she started in to play. The windows 
 were open and the music and the moonlight, 
 and the hum of the insects, and the landscape 
 became indissolubly blended, and I blessed 
 Minerva once more for the truly "Puss-in- 
 boots" service she had rendered to the "Mar 
 quis of Carabas." 
 
 The dance ended, Cherry turned around on 
 the piano stool and said, 
 
 "Minerva chose a very nice piano." 
 
 There was a sound of steps on the porch
 
 254 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 and the shadow of a man fell across the 
 square hallway. There was also a subdued 
 rap on the door post. 
 
 I stepped to the door and found a tramp 
 standing there. He was the typical tramp 
 of the comic papers ; unshaven, dusty, blear- 
 eyed, unkempt, stoop shouldered, ragged, un 
 prepossessing. 
 
 "What do you wish?" said I, irritated at 
 the interruption. 
 
 He hesitated a moment. 
 
 "I d like a glass of milk," said he, huskily. 
 
 "Well, go around to the back door and the 
 girl will give you one. Don t you want some 
 meat!" 
 
 "Thanks; I don t care if I do," said he, 
 wiping his mouth as if my invitation had 
 been a bibulous one. 
 
 He went around, and I returned to the sit 
 ting room, where Cherry had started another 
 piece. 
 
 "Do you have many tramps?" asked she 
 when she had finished. 
 
 "Not many. They are too lazy to climb 
 the hills. I think he is only the third one
 
 A MUSICAL TRAMP 255 
 
 this summer. He was awful looking. Did 
 you see him?" 
 
 No, said Ethel and Cherry together. 
 
 What a life ! Probably not a wish in the 
 world but for food and drink." 
 
 My moralizing was cut short by the return 
 of the tramp. In his right hand he held a 
 sandwich and with his left he was wiping milk 
 from his moustache. 
 
 As he passed the window he beckoned to 
 me, who was sitting by it. 
 
 I supposed that he wanted money, and went 
 out. 
 
 * Say, boss, said he, " I m pretty far gone, 
 but you didn t set the dog on me, and I want 
 you to ask that young lady in there a favour." 
 
 What is it?" 
 
 Ask her to play the Dance of the Dwarfs 
 in the same suite Peer Gint. " 
 
 "Sit down," said I, and felt as if I needed 
 a seat myself. 
 
 The oafish tramp sat down on the porch 
 seat, and I went in and told Cherry what the 
 tramp would like to hear. 
 
 Surprise showed in her face, but quite as
 
 256 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 a matter of course she went to the piano and 
 began the lumbering, humourous dance. 
 
 In the middle of it I could hear the tramp 
 laughing gutturally, and when she had fin 
 ished it he clapped his hands and said, 
 
 "Beg pardon, but I m much obliged. That s 
 one of the funniest pieces of music that was 
 ever composed. Say, boss, will you step out 
 a minute." 
 
 I stepped out. He had risen and was evi 
 dently going. 
 
 "Boss, I used to be one of the second 
 violins in Seidl s orchestra, but well, 
 that s how. I was go n by here, for I had 
 had som n to eat at the last house, but when 
 I heard Anitra s Dance, gee! it brought 
 back the good old days when I was doing the 
 only thing I ever cared for, fiddling; and I 
 thought I d ask for some more, and then I 
 didn t dare until I d been around to the kitch 
 en and braced up. Thank the young lady 
 for me." 
 
 He shuffled out to the road. 
 
 "You wronged him, Philip," said Ethel 
 when I returned. "Think of his knowing 
 PeerGint "
 
 A MUSICAL TRAMP 257 
 
 Cherry wiped her eyes and broke into a 
 chorus from "lolanthe."
 
 CHAPTER XXI 
 
 WE MAKE HAY. 
 
 SUNDAY it rained until late in the after 
 noon, but at that time a westerly wind 
 sprang up which rapidly dried things, 
 and enabled us to go out for a sunset walk. 
 
 "This is a place in which to do nothing 
 but be happy," said Cherry to Ethel as we 
 stood on top of our favorite rock and looked 
 up the valley for miles and miles, watching 
 belated and feathery clouds fly across it, try 
 ing to catch up with the rain clouds that had 
 all day long swept by. 
 
 "That s what I felt when I first came up," 
 said Ethel, "but I m beginning to feel so 
 strong now that Philip has sent for a lawn 
 tennis set, and James is going to mark a 
 court, and you and I can play against Phil 
 ip." 
 
 "Yes, and while we re waiting for it to 
 come," said I, "we ll have to pitch in and 
 
 258
 
 WE MAKE HAY 259 
 
 give our next-door neighbour a spell of work 
 at hay-making." 
 
 " What s a spell of work?" asked Cherry. 
 
 "Why, it s falling to, and helping your 
 neighbour this week, and next week he falls 
 to, and helps you." 
 
 "Oh, how delicious. And do you know 
 how to make hay?" 
 
 "Anyone can learn how in a single morn 
 ing. First you cut it, then you toss it, and 
 then you gather it. It s as easy as lying." 
 
 "I m afraid I ll never learn it," said 
 Cherry demurely. 
 
 "I was reading somewhere," said I, "that 
 in Germany, where they learn to be econom 
 ical from the beginning, the navy is sup 
 ported or else it s the army is supported 
 entirely on the hay that Americans would 
 leave in the corners and the by-ways. I ve 
 no doubt that the Emperor William com 
 mands his people in a heaven-sent message 
 to get out their nail scissors and cut the little 
 blades in the remote corners that nothing be 
 lost, and as mony a mickle maks a muckle/ 
 he pays for his army out of the hay crop that 
 would become withered grass with us. Now
 
 260 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 to-morrow, when we go over to help the 
 Windham s, you must remember to account 
 each blade of grass as equal in value to any 
 other blade." 
 
 "What will Mr. Windham say to women 
 working?" 
 
 "Well, the idea! Ethel. Did any Yankee 
 farmer ever object to women working? And 
 isn t it better to work out-of-doors than to 
 work indoors? I d rather you lifted forkfuls 
 of hay than have you lift heavy mattresses 
 and furniture and things, and it s better to 
 rake hay than to sweep floors." 
 
 "When Philip gets on a topic like that, 
 the best thing to do is to just let him talk 
 it out," said Ethel. "Don t say a word, and 
 he ll burn up for lack of fuel." 
 
 "Which is a logical remark," said I. 
 
 "But it will be too perfectly delightful to 
 go out like Boaz and glean." 
 
 "You may possibly mean Ruth," said I. 
 
 "I do. I always mix them up. Boaz seems 
 like a woman s name. Do you think it will 
 rain to-morrow?" 
 
 "To-morrow," said I, with a glance at the 
 west where the sun, a red ball, was disap-
 
 WE MAKE HAY 261 
 
 pearing in a cloudless sky, "will be a good 
 hay day." 
 
 And to-morrow was. We rose and break 
 fasted early and found when we looked at 
 the thermometer that it was already 78, but 
 there was a west wind blowing to temper the 
 heat. 
 
 "They re already at work, aren t they?" 
 said Cherry as we started out, the women 
 clad in walking skirts and shirt-waists and 
 broad-brimmed hats, and I bare headed and 
 outing shirted. 
 
 "My dear child, they have been at work 
 for the last four hours." 
 
 I had told Windham what to expect, and 
 when he saw us coming he said, "That s 
 right. The more the merrier. You ll find 
 rakes there by the fence." 
 
 I told him that I would mow a little, as I 
 had done it when a boy. 
 
 "Good work," said he, and let me take his 
 own scythe while he drove a loaded wagon 
 home. 
 
 I started in at a field that they had not 
 intended to attack until after lunch, but 
 Windham said it would make no difference.
 
 Ethel and Cherry raked as if they were 
 sweeping, and I am not sure that their money 
 value could have been represented by any 
 undue use of figures. I vaulted the fence and 
 began my fell work, taking care to keep close 
 to the edge and demolishing every last blade 
 of grass. I also found that my method of 
 attack spared a little mouthful of grass at 
 each stroke, and when I had gone down the 
 length of the field and had stuck the point 
 of the scythe in the earth twice, and had cut 
 the end off of a stone, and had lunged into 
 the fence, I determined to rest a minute and 
 try to recall the proper way in which to hold 
 the scythe. 
 
 The way back was easier, as I was now 
 one remove from the fence. I poised the 
 scythe in such a manner that I reaped what 
 I had before spared, but found, upon look 
 ing back over the path by which I had come, 
 that I had spared a few inches in each swathe. 
 I seemed to be unable to make a long, clean 
 sweep. And my back felt like breaking and 
 I was sweating in a manner unbecoming a 
 gentleman. 
 
 That, however, did not worry me at all,
 
 WE MAKE HAY 263 
 
 as I reflected that on my father s side I was 
 the first gentleman that had appeared in Am 
 erica for nine generations all the rest had 
 been of the bone and sinew of the nation. 
 
 When people talk about pride of ancestry 
 in my hearing, and their pride of ancestry is 
 based on the fact that they have had fine 
 blood in their veins for generations, I inflate 
 my chest and tell them about my maternal 
 ancestors, the Durbans. Not a man did a 
 stroke of work for eight generations, and they 
 lived in cities and looked down on country 
 folk in a manner that was as aristocratic 
 as could be. When my mother married my 
 father, who had been born and bred a coun 
 try boy, all the Durbans held up their hands 
 in holy horror and said that my mother would 
 never draw a happy breath again. 
 
 Yet she went on drawing one happy breath 
 after another, until she died, and my father 
 knew his first unhappiness when she depart 
 ed. 
 
 But when I meet people who laugh at lin 
 eage and genealogy, I do not speak of the 
 Durbans at all. I say, "Yes, pride of lin 
 eage is foolish. The Vernons have been plain
 
 264 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 country folk ever since they came over in 
 1639, and not one of them was ever celebrated 
 for anything not even for his wickedness. 
 They ve just been Yankee countrymen, and 
 so, of course, pride of ancestry is a foolish 
 thing." 
 
 Whenever you hear a man laughing at 
 pride of ancestry, you may be sure that his 
 ancestors were no better than my fathers 
 were. But if he is always talking about his 
 ancestry, depend upon it, he has something 
 back of him as good as the Durbans, and his 
 forbears looked down on farmers. 
 
 We worked until the whistles at Egerton 
 blew for noon, and I had by that time devas 
 tated quite a patch of grass. 
 
 Windham had been busy in other places 
 all the morning, and when he came to look at 
 what I had done he made no reference to the 
 thrift of the Germans. He looked at the reg 
 ular patches of spared blades that were hold 
 ing their heads high amidst the blades that 
 had fallen so bravely, and said, 
 
 "How would you like to drive the rake this 
 afternoon?"
 
 WE MAKE HAY 265 
 
 I blushed and said that I believed that 
 would be a change of work. 
 
 I did not laugh at the somewhat amateur 
 raking of Ethel and Cherry. Haymaking is 
 an art, and beginners learn better by encour 
 agement than by ridicule. 
 
 We had brought our lunch, and we pic 
 nicked under the spreading branches of an 
 oak, and found that we were feeling "pretty 
 good. * And we had six red arms to our 
 credit four of them pretty.
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 "DING DONG BELL." 
 
 THE week passed so quickly, with our 
 hay-making and our getting over our 
 hay-making and our pleasant walks 
 we did not attempt to drive out again behind 
 "th ould scut", and the attractive meals 
 that Minerva cooked and the pleasant music 
 that Cherry found within the piano, that 
 when Friday came, and Cherry asked me if 
 I had found a team to carry her down, Ethel 
 said, 
 
 "It s all nonsense, your thinking of going 
 back. Philip, she says that she hasn t made 
 any plans at all, beyond thinking of going to 
 Bar Harbor in September to visit her aunt. 
 
 "Well, then, Cherry, it will be downright 
 unkind in you to ask me to hunt up a team 
 yet awhile. Just stay on until the haying 
 season is over, and we can go down behind a 
 real horse." 
 
 "Well, of course I m having a perfectly 
 
 266
 
 "DING DONG BELL" 267 
 
 delicious time," said Cherry, putting her 
 arms around Ethel s shoulders affectionately, 
 "and I d much rather stay than go, but it 
 seems like " 
 
 "It doesn t seem like anything at all," said 
 Ethel, "except that we want you to stay. 
 And, besides, we want you to meet Ellery 
 Sibthorp." 
 
 "Ellery Sibthorp," said Cherry with a 
 laugh. "Is that his real name?" 
 
 "That s his real name, the one he writes 
 under, and Philip asked me to ask him up. 
 He s all alone in the world and is struggling 
 to make a name for himself." 
 
 "Mercy, I should think he had one ready 
 made. Ellery Sibthorp. It s as valuable as 
 Kudyard Kipling." 
 
 "Wait till you see him," said I. "He s, 
 poor as a church mouse and as clean as a 
 whistle, and as good as gold." 
 
 "Oh, I m simply dying to see him. When 
 does he come? And how will you get him 
 up?" 
 
 "Egerton livery, this time. And he s com 
 ing Monday. So you see, if you were to go 
 to-morrow, you wouldn t see him."
 
 268 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 * Tell me something about him. Of course 
 I ll stay. How old is he? Is he married?" 
 
 "Oh, no. I guess he s about twenty-eight, 
 and he s one of the great unrecognized. 
 Good, but different, so he s got to wait." 
 
 "Hasn t he had anything accepted?" 
 
 * Oh, a few things, but not enough to make 
 him hopeless of success." 
 
 "Oh, is he that type?" 
 
 A little. If he finally takes the world by 
 storm, he won t be among those who are sur 
 prised." 
 
 "And what do you think of him?" 
 
 " I ? Oh, I think he s young and can afford 
 to wait, but I guess he s one of the real ones. 
 It won t do him any harm to wait." 
 
 "That always sounds so merciless," said 
 Ethel. She and Cherry were sitting on a set 
 tee under a maple. She turned to her friend. 
 "Half the time he lives on next to nothing, 
 and yet Philip says that it will do him no 
 harm to wait. He may starve before the 
 world finds him out." 
 
 "Even if he does, he ll be the happier in 
 the world to come," said I. "But don t look 
 for a sad-eyed, posing, long-haired, hollow-
 
 "DING DONG BELL" 269 
 
 cheeked poet. Sibthorp sticks to prose, and 
 lie has a sense of humour that keeps him 
 sane and satisfied and hopeful. I really 
 think that if he were to be tremendously suc 
 cessful now that life would lose something of 
 its savour. He feels in a vague way that he 
 belongs to the line of those who have had to 
 toil and wait before recognition came, and 
 the thought is not distasteful." 
 
 "Will he read to us, or will he be like you, 
 and never read anything of his own?" 
 
 "Oh, he ll read, if you press him " 
 
 Just then we heard moans that we had sup 
 posed were never to be heard again, and 
 Minerva came running out of the house. 
 
 "Oh, Mist. Vernon, Miss Pussy has fell 
 down the well." 
 
 Not really ? said Ethel, jumping up from 
 the settee. "Oh, Philip, you must get her 
 out at once. We never can drink the water 
 again. 
 
 "Are you sure she s there, Minerva?" 
 
 Deed I am. I had the top off to fix that 
 chain that got unhooked agin, an* she must 
 have jumped up awn the edge and then fell 
 in. She ll be drowned, sure."
 
 270 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 "Where s James!" said I, hurrying 
 through the house. 
 
 "He s gone home." 
 
 "Well, you go get him. I ll fish for the 
 cat, but he d be more likely to get her if he 
 went down. Hurry ! 
 
 Our drinking water was pumped out of the 
 well, that was under the kitchen, by means of 
 an endless chain furnished with rubber buck 
 ets, and while the well was some thirty feet 
 deep, it would not be much of a job for a man 
 used to it to go down and rescue the cat, sup 
 posing that its nine lives held out until he 
 came. I did not think of going down, be 
 cause I cannot swim, and a single false step 
 would have meant drowning for me, and the 
 husband who throws away his life for a cat 
 has a false sense of values. 
 
 Minerva rushed out to within bawling dis 
 tance of James, and I lighted a candle and 
 lowered it by means of a clothes line for about 
 ten feet. 
 
 "I see her! She s swimming!" I exclaimed, 
 and then the candle went out and I drew it 
 up. 
 
 I then tied an eight-quart pail on the line
 
 "DING DONG BELL 1 271 
 
 and lowered that, and when I felt it hitting 
 water I called to the cat reassuringly, hoping 
 that it would have sense enough to get inside 
 of the pail. I pulled and felt the weight of 
 the cat. 
 
 "Fve got her," said I to Ethel and Cherry, 
 who stood, interested spectators, at the kitch 
 en door. 
 
 "Oh, how fortunate," said Ethel. 
 
 "Yes, Minerva needn t have called James. 
 My, the cat must be water logged. She s 
 heavy. 
 
 I pulled hand over hand, and at last the 
 pail was near enough for me to reach down 
 and taking it s bail, pull it over the edge. 
 
 It was full to overflowing with water. 
 
 "Where s the cat?" said Ethel in astonish 
 ment. 
 
 "Cat s gone back." 
 
 I lowered the bucket again, although I felt 
 that it was time thrown away. While I was 
 trying to attract Miss Pussy s attention 
 Cherry, looking out into the moonlight, said, 
 
 "Here comes James." 
 
 And a minute later he came in. He had 
 not quite reached home when he heard Mi-
 
 272 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 nerva s agonized calls, and came in obedience 
 to them. 
 
 "Think you can get her, James?" said I. 
 
 "I guess so. Light the lantern, Minerva," 
 said he, and Minerva sprang to the cellar 
 stairs and brought out a lantern which she 
 lighted promptly. 
 
 "Think she s drowned, James?" 
 
 "No, sir, cats hate water, but they can 
 swim all right." 
 
 He stepped into the woodshed and came 
 back in a minute with a coil of new clothes 
 line. This he doubled and then tied it around 
 his waist, asking me to hold on to the end 
 of it. 
 
 The lantern he fastened to the other rope s 
 end. 
 
 1 Keep yourself braced, said he. "I wont 
 fall, for I ve often been down there to clean it, 
 but if I do, you can pull me up. 
 
 * l Try not to go, James, said I, looking at 
 his two hundred pounds, and at the slender 
 rope. 
 
 We wrenched off the case of the pump, and 
 stepping down he was lost to sight almost im 
 mediately.
 
 "DING DONG BELL" 273 
 
 I lowered the lantern and he made his way 
 to the water. 
 
 "Do you suppose the cat slipped!" I asked 
 Minerva. 
 
 "I reckon she was thirsty." 
 
 "Well, she won t be thirsty when she comes 
 out. What do you find, James?" 
 
 "A scrubbing brush." 
 
 "Ooh," said Ethel, and "Ugh," said Cher 
 ry, but Minerva said, 
 
 * Lawdy, I wondered what I had done with, 
 that." 
 
 "Where s the cat, James?" 
 
 "I m afraid she s sunk. She ain t here. 
 That s certain." 
 
 l That s too bad. Coming up f " 
 
 "Yes, sir. No use looking any more. She s 
 gone down." 
 
 I began to pull in the rope, and James be 
 gan to ascend. Suddenly there was a splash 
 and simultaneously I was pulled forward, and 
 almost went into the well myself. 
 
 Minerva shrieked and so did Ethel and 
 Cherry, but James s voice rose assuringly. 
 
 "All right. Missed my footing. My, but 
 this water s cold."
 
 274 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 We could hear him spluttering. 
 
 "Here, lend a hand, all of you, at this 
 rope," said I, and we all began to pull. 
 
 Of course it meant that next day James 
 would have to pump the well dry and get the 
 poor little body of the poor little cat. What 
 a lot of excitement and suspense and labour 
 over one smallish cat. Indeed, what a risk of 
 life, for James might easily have hit his head 
 when he fell. 
 
 We hung back on the rope like sailors, and 
 James climbed higher and higher, and at last 
 his black hand came up and grasped the edge 
 of the curb, and a moment later, dripping and 
 shivering, he stood upon the floor. 
 
 And then we heard the voice of a cat. T 
 rushed to the well and looked in, but the 
 sounds did not come from there. They came 
 from out of doors. 
 
 "That sounds like her," said James. 
 
 "It s her ghost," said Minerva. "She s 
 comin to ha nt me." 
 
 Illogically enough we all pictured the cat 
 standing outside of the door dripping water. 
 
 I opened the door and in walked Miss
 
 "DING BONG BELL" 275 
 
 Pussy, as dry as a bone, and began to rub 
 against Minerva s skirts. 
 
 "Why, she s dry," said Ethel. 
 
 Minerva burst out laughing. * My, I clean 
 forgot. I shut her out doors before I began 
 moppin ."
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 ELIGIBLE. 
 
 WE were sitting at dinner Monday night, 
 all of us wondering why Ellery Sib- 
 thorp had not come. "We had heard 
 the whistle of the train on which he was to 
 have come, and we had allowed more than 
 time for the livery team to come up, hut it 
 was now seven, and we had given him up. 
 
 "I m afraid he missed the train in New 
 York. I wish I d walked down to the sta 
 tion." 
 
 "Will you please tell me," said Ethel, 
 "how your going down to Egerton would 
 have prevented his missing the train in New 
 York?" 
 
 "Well, I was thinking that perhaps he 
 missed the hackman at Egerton." 
 
 "It s too perfectly awful of him," said 
 Cherry, "seeing that I stayed over just to 
 meet him. 
 
 276
 
 ELIGIBLE 277 
 
 "The disappointment will be his when he 
 sees you," said I, and at this both of them 
 asked me what was the matter with my wits. 
 
 "Have you had an infusion of Irish 
 blood? "asked Ethel. 
 
 "I m thinking of how inhospitable I was 
 not to go down to the train. 
 
 There was a knock at the kitchen door, and 
 Minerva, who had been removing the soup 
 plates, went out to open it. 
 
 A light-keyed, pleasant voice said to her, 
 
 "Can you tell me where the Vernons 
 live?" 
 
 "Right here, sir. Come in won t yer?" 
 
 In through the kitchen came a light step, 
 following Minerva s heavy one, and as she 
 opened the door into the dining room she 
 said to us informally. 
 
 "I guess this is the man you was lookin 
 for." 
 
 "Oh, I didn t know you had company," 
 said Sibthorp, setting down his grip and re 
 moving, or trying to remove his hat. His 
 hand hit it and it fell to the floor, and when 
 he stooped to pick it up he felt flustered, and
 
 put it on again, his face turning the colour of 
 a peony. 
 
 Ethel rose from her seat and said, 
 
 "Mr. Sibthorp, you surely haven t walked 
 up ? May I present you to Miss Paxton ? 
 
 "Certainly," said the poor fellow. "That 
 is, I did, and I m happy to meet everybody." 
 
 He had taken off his hat again, and I now 
 found his hand and gave it a hearty shake. 
 
 "This is your house for the time being, 
 Ellery, old man," said I, "and Miss Paxton 
 is one of the family, also. We call her Cher 
 ry, but it isn t obligatory. Now hang your 
 hat up in the hall, and I ll show you where 
 you can find a pitcher and basin, and no 
 body s the least bit stiff in this house, so you 
 can feel as happy as if you were by your 
 self." 
 
 I led him out of the room, and by the time 
 he had explained how he had not seen any 
 hack, and had come up by a short-cut that a 
 farmer told him about, he was feeling more 
 in command of himself. It is really a tax on 
 a man s self possession to be shown through 
 the kitchen and brought face to face with a 
 strange and exceedingly pretty young woman,
 
 ELIGIBLE 279 
 
 and I would not care to have anyone think 
 that Sibthorp was one of those hopelessly 
 diffident fellows, whose every contact with 
 their fellow beings is agony. 
 
 When he came back to the table he went 
 over and shook hands with Ethel, and sat 
 down in his seat quite himself. 
 
 He was a good looking fellow, reminding 
 one a little of the pictures of Eobert Schu 
 mann. His eyes were deep-set and his lips 
 full, and if he had been born twenty years 
 earlier his hair would have been long. The 
 spirit of the times is against excessive hair. 
 
 The cow boy had it and stuck to it and 
 the cow boy is going. Whether artists and 
 literary men pondered on the fate of the cow 
 boy, and in order to save themselves, cut their 
 hair, or not, I am not prepared to say, but 
 it is a fact that if all the hair that is not 
 in these United States were to be placed end 
 to end it would encircle the earth time and 
 time again which beautiful thought I dedi 
 cate to the statisticians. 
 
 "What bracing air you have up here," said 
 Sibthorp. "Why, I came up the hills like a 
 streak, and I was getting so that a short walk
 
 280 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 in tKe city tired me. Isn t it a great place?" 
 
 " You re inoculated soon," said Cherry. 
 "There s something in the spirit of this place 
 that makes people stay on and on. I was 
 only invited for a week, and now they can t 
 get me to go. It ll be the same with you." 
 
 "Ellery," said I, "the motto of this place 
 is going to be All hope (of getting away) 
 abandon ye who enter here. You see, Ethel 
 and I were getting mortally tired of our 
 honeymoon, which had lasted four years, and 
 so we began to invite people up here to re 
 lieve our ennui." 
 
 "Aren t you ashamed of yourself, to say 
 that?" said Cherry; but Ethel only laughed. 
 
 "It s a fact. At first Minerva (she s the 
 lady that ushered you in) contributed daily to 
 our amusement and excitement, but now she s 
 getting to be semi-occasional, and so we re 
 thinking of our friends who don t hate the, 
 country, and you may be in quite a congested 
 community before you have a chance to go. 
 You play tennis, don t you?" 
 
 "I used to when I was a boy." 
 
 "Oh, don t say that. We re all boys and 
 girls up here. We expect to set up a court
 
 ELIGIBLE 281 
 
 to-morrow and there ll be four of us to play." 
 
 Have you written much lately?" asked 
 Ethel. 
 
 It was curious to see the extra animation 
 that came into Sibthorp s face at her ques 
 tion. Tennis had left him cold, but the men 
 tion of the works of Sibthorp roused him. 
 
 It is the fashion to laugh at this tendency 
 in writers, but I have a dim suspicion that the 
 engineer is roused to greater interest at men 
 tion of some engineering problem he has 
 solved, than he is at the ordinary topics of 
 the day, and so it is with all. 
 
 "Had something accepted last week," said 
 he. "It had been everywhere, and if it had 
 come back again, I would have burned it up, 
 but the Atlantic took it, and the only reason 
 I didn t send there at first was because I 
 thought it wasn t good enough." 
 
 "How proud we must be." 
 
 "Well, it s funny, but as soon as the At 
 lantic took it, I went and got my carbon copy 
 and read it, and I thought it was pretty good, 
 and when it had come back time before, I had 
 read it, and thought it was rotten. 
 
 "And when it s printed, there ll be as
 
 282 MINERVA S MANCEHVBES 
 
 many opinions of it as it has readers. But 
 you re progressing if the Atlantic takes you 
 up. Doesn t it make you feel sorry to see 
 the goal?" 
 
 "No, sir. Now I won t be happy until I ve 
 written a serial for the Atlantic, or some one 
 of the big magazines." 
 
 1 i Is that the way it works ? laughed Cher 
 ry. "The more one gets, the more one 
 wants?" 
 
 "That s the way ambition is built up," 
 said I, acceptance by acceptance. 
 
 "What a place to work in this must be," 
 said Sibthorp, as he allowed Ethel to replen 
 ish his plate. 
 
 Cherry laughed. "Yes, you ought to see 
 the way Mr. Vernon works. !A poem in the 
 morning, a short story in the afternoon, and 
 an essay in the evening." 
 
 Sibthorp turned his glowing eyes on me. 
 "Good boy. Are you really working?" 
 
 "Miss Paxton sees fit to jest," said I. 
 "I m afraid I haven t done as much as I 
 might. 
 
 "You couldn t do less, Philip, seeing you
 
 ELIGIBLE 283 
 
 haven t done a thing since you came up," 
 said Ethel. 
 
 "All the better for winter. But don t let 
 my example influence you, Sibthorp. I 11 turn 
 you loose with pens and paper, or my type 
 writer, and you can enrich the literature of 
 this country every minute, if you want to. 
 Only, if you take my advice, you ll give lit- 
 erachure the go by, and stay out doors for 
 a week or so." 
 
 "I ll work out doors, but I must work," 
 said he, his eyes shining. 
 
 Ethel laughed. l i A night up here will cure 
 that. You ll be content to loll by to-mor 
 row. 
 
 Why, I wrote on the way up, said he. 
 
 "Really!" said Cherry. "What did you 
 do with it ? Hand it to the conductor by mis 
 take, for your ticket?" she added saucily. 
 
 1 1 No, but do you know, whenever I ride any 
 distance, I feel that I must write something 
 because money spent on tickets seems money 
 thrown away." 
 
 1 1 Dear me, is it a poet speaking or a thrifty 
 Yankee." 
 
 Cherry spoke to him as if she had known
 
 284 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 him all her life. I did not know but he would 
 take offence, but he was looking at her when 
 she spoke, and that made all the difference in 
 the world. Ethel said one day that Cherry s 
 eyes apologised for whatever daring might 
 be in her words. 
 
 "I m very thrifty. I have need to be," 
 said Sibthorp earnestly, and as I knew that 
 his income for the preceding year had been 
 something in the neighbourhood of four hun 
 dred dollars, I flashed a warning signal to 
 Cherry, and asked him to do the thing that 
 would make him the happiest. 
 
 "After dinner suppose you read us the 
 stuff you ve been writing." 
 
 * * How disrespectful, said Cherry. 
 "Stuff!" 
 
 "Why, if it wouldn t bore you?" said he, 
 smiling at Cherry. 
 
 * Lovely ! Perfectly delicious ! said Cher 
 ry, and Ethel said, 
 
 "It ll make me think I m living in a lit 
 erary atmosphere once more. Since Philip 
 won that prize, he s simply vegetated. I 
 don t like it a bit. "What s your story 
 about?"
 
 ELIGIBLE 285 
 
 "It s a sort of fable. I call it the "Two 
 Altruists." 
 
 We had coffee served out under the maple, 
 and while we were drinking it Sibthorp, after 
 apologising for not being a better reader, be 
 gan it. 
 
 "Once upon a time 
 
 "Wait a minute," said I, "Here comes Mi 
 nerva. She doesn t want to listen, but it ll 
 go better if we wait until she has gone." 
 
 She had come for the cups and saucers, and 
 she took Ellery s coffee before he had had 
 a chance to touch it, but no one noticed, he 
 least of all, intent as he was upon disburden 
 ing his mind of his fable. 
 
 I make no bones of producing it, because 
 we all liked it so well that it seems as if a 
 larger audience might be pleased at its whim 
 sical tone. 
 
 " Once upon a time, he began again, 
 " there was a man whose chief happiness 
 came from seeing others happy. He was in 
 deed an absolute altruist. 
 
 " Now it so fell about that this altruist 
 was a professional writer, and wove tales for 
 the magazines, and one day, being in a happy
 
 mood, caused by Ms having given his last 
 crust and his last shirt to a professional beg 
 gar, he wove a story for a competition and 
 was so fortunate as to receive the capital 
 prize of $1,000.00. " 
 
 ("I was thinking of you, Philip, when I 
 wrote that," said he.) 
 
 11 For a time his joy was unbounded, but 
 after a while the thought came to him of those 
 in this world to whom the money would mean 
 so much more than it did to him, and he es 
 sayed to put the thousand dollar bill into his 
 side pocket and walked along the highway, 
 pondering upon the best disposition to make 
 of it. 
 
 " And in his abstraction he missed his 
 side pocket altogether and the thousand dollar 
 bill fluttered through the air and fell to earth, 
 where it lay in plain sight, if the man had but 
 looked behind him. 
 
 " Now after the altruist had gone the 
 space of a mile he put his hand into his pocket 
 that he might pull out the bill, and feeling 
 its tangibility, plan its disposition with more 
 concreteness. 
 
 " And the bill was gone!
 
 ELIGIBLE 287 
 
 " Then the altruist fell to skipping and 
 jumping in great joy. "For," said he to 
 himself, " no matter who finds that bill it must 
 perforce make him happy; therefore I have 
 added a happiness to some fellow mortal, a 
 happiness that is scarce ever vouchsafed to 
 one on this world of ours where money is not 
 to be had for the mere picking up. And he 
 ran along the highway full of the joy of 
 others lives and stirred to seraphic emotions 
 by his altruistic temperament. 
 
 11 Now in that same town there lived an 
 other altruist, whom Howells or Tolstoi would 
 have loved with exceeding ardour. His form 
 of altruism was not so much sharing his joys 
 with others as taking from them their sor 
 rows. As the former added to the joys of life, 
 so he subtracted from the sorrows of exist 
 ence or converted them into his personal joys, 
 and he always went about looking for those 
 with long faces that he might foreshorten 
 them. 
 
 " And it happened that he, walking along 
 the highway, came upon the thousand dollar 
 bill. 
 
 11 Now, it was a time of roominess in his
 
 288 MINERVA S MANCEHVBES 
 
 pocket, which had scarce felt the weight of 
 a minor coin for many days. And a thou 
 sand dollars would have brought luxuries to 
 his house for a twelve month, he being un- 
 wedded. 
 
 " But when he picked up the bill and saw 
 its denomination he fell into loud lamentation 
 and raised his voice to its highest pitch, say 
 ing, 
 
 " * "Woe is me, for in this town some poor 
 fellow is mourning this night at the loss of 
 what may have been his all." 
 
 " And this second altruist had a voice of 
 penetrating quality, for in his younger days 
 he had been an auctioneer, and his words 
 went through the stillness of the night and 
 came to the ears of the other altruist, walk 
 ing his happy way to his home. 
 
 " And at once the first altruist turned 
 about and hastened to where the voice came 
 out of the night, saying, 
 
 "Weep no more, brother, for I am com 
 ing to comfort thee. It matters not what has 
 happened to thee, I have words at my 
 tongue s end that cannot fail to give thee 
 good cheer."
 
 ELIGIBLE 289 
 
 " And after a time he came upon the sec 
 ond altruist swaying and moaning and wav 
 ing the bill in the air, and he said to him, 
 
 " " Brother, what calamity has descended 
 upon thee ? Hast lost thine all I " 
 
 " And the second altruist said, 
 
 " "No, but one of my brothers in this 
 world has lost this great piece of money, and 
 I cannot sleep this night for grief at the 
 thought of his sorrow. 
 
 " And the first altruist stared at him in 
 wonder, and said, 
 
 " "What condition of affairs is this and 
 what is the constitution of man? For I had 
 attained to perfect joy at the thought that 
 you (or another) had found my money, while 
 you have been rendered miserable at the 
 thought that I (or another) had lost it. In 
 what way can we be happy together I" 
 
 And even as they held converse a robber 
 came along, and snatching the thousand dol 
 lar bill made off with it. 
 
 " "Ah, * cried both together, raising their 
 voices in joy, "now we can be happy again, 
 for beyond peradventure this robber who 
 took the money needed it, else he would not
 
 290 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 have taken it, and while we do not condone 
 his dishonesty, we rejoice at his prosperi 
 ty." " 
 
 He finished and looked around for an ap 
 probation that was freely given him. 
 
 How did you ever think of such an idea? 
 said Cherry, and I could see that he had im 
 pressed her. 
 
 He looked at her and began to explain very 
 seriously how the idea had come to him, and 
 she listened just as seriously. 
 
 "It s another edition of you," said Ethel 
 to me with a smile, and I recalled certain 
 conversations that we had had in years gone 
 by, when she was deeply interested in the 
 1 how " of " literary endeavour. 
 
 She flashed a signal to me that I could not 
 mistake. I looked at the handsome pair 
 seated under the maple, he full of the anima 
 tion of self interest, she animated by a sym 
 pathy that might well become something 
 greater, and instantly I began to look ahead 
 and foretell what propinquity would do quite 
 as if they were characters in a story of mine, 
 and I intended that they should fall in love 
 with each other.
 
 ELIGIBLE 291 
 
 He had four hundred a year or less, and 
 ambition, but she had beauty and enough 
 to support two comfortably while ambition 
 was becoming fruition. 
 
 A new interest had been added to life at 
 Clover Lodge.
 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 PAT CASEY CALLS. 
 
 THE next day we were all awakened by 
 one of Minerva s morning songs, but 
 it was such a morning the air was so 
 bracing and fragrant, the sun so mellow, and 
 yet not too hot, that not one of us felt that 
 the song was out of place, and all four met 
 on the porch a good half hour before break 
 fast. 
 
 "Well, Ellery, this is a great day to work. 
 How would an epic do and we ll delay lunch 
 eon a half hour, so that you can finish it. 
 
 Ellery looked over the waving, billowing 
 meadows. Then he looked at Cherry, rosy 
 and vibrant with animation. 
 
 "I believe it s going to do me more good 
 if I lay off for a few days and get charged 
 with some of this air." 
 
 We all shrieked gaily at him. 
 
 "We could have told you so last night," 
 said Ethel. 
 
 292
 
 PAT CASEY CALLS 293 
 
 "I did tell him so," said I. " Here s 
 where you store up mental energy, but you 
 might as well try to write at sea as to try 
 to write up here. Let s go put up the tennis 
 net." 
 
 "Oh, all right," said Ellery. "I was go 
 ing to ask Miss Paxton if she wouldn t show 
 me around the place a little. Have we time 
 before breakfast?" 
 
 "Yes," said Ethel, "but don t go too far. 
 Minerva s going to have griddle cakes and 
 real maple syrup and they need to be eaten 
 hot," 
 
 When the two had sauntered off I said to 
 Ethel, 
 
 "You re a romantic soul with your griddle 
 cakes. Don t you see those two? In the 
 language of the day, Ellery is stung. 
 
 "Imagine him married." 
 
 "It would be the finest thing for him that 
 ever happened. He might amount to some 
 thing with a wife to look after him." 
 
 "It doesn t always work," said Ethel, 
 saucily. 
 
 "Better four hundred a year where love 
 is " I began.
 
 294 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 "Than a stalled ox and hatred therewith, * 
 concluded Ethel. 
 
 "Something like that. Four hundred a 
 year with love is a large order. She d better 
 wait until Ellery is famous. But perhaps 
 we d better not hurry them along. She s in 
 terested in him because he has talent and is 
 unrecognised, and he s interested in her be 
 cause he has talent and she recognised it, but 
 I don t believe but that you could buy him off 
 with a mess of pottage " 
 
 "Or some griddle cakes. There s the bell 
 now. You call them. 
 
 I called "Breakfast s ready," although the 
 two were out of sight, and my call was ans 
 wered by an "Arl right. I m just in time." 
 
 "Who was that?" said Ethel in some dis 
 may. 
 
 "Sounded something like *th ould scut, 7 : 
 said I, for by that name our friend Casey had 
 come to be known. 
 
 It proved to be he, bare-footed and hatless, 
 coming to us across the fields. 
 
 "Good marnin , tis a hell of a fine day." 
 
 "Yes, it is," said I, "although your lan 
 guage is somewhat strong."
 
 PAT CASEY CALLS 295 
 
 "No harrum intindid," said she, looking at 
 Ethel with a pleasant smile. * Ye can t make 
 an insult out of a hell or two a day like this. 
 I t harght that perhaps your woman would 
 like some blue berries for breakfast th day, 
 an I brarght them up. They re picked this 
 marnin , an the dew is yit on them." He 
 held out an eight quart pail filled to the top 
 with tempting berries. 
 
 "How much are they, Pat," said I, putting 
 my hand into my pocket. 
 
 "Who s insultin now?" said he, with a 
 growling laugh. "I ll sell no prisints this 
 yair. Twas a hell of a bad ride ye had th 
 other night, an I tould me ould woman I d 
 git square wid ye one way or another, an 
 this is the way. They re dam fine." 
 
 "They certainly are," said Ethel, uncon 
 sciously seconding his oath. 
 
 She went into the house to get a bowl to 
 put them into and just then Ellery and 
 Cherry came up. 
 
 "The top of the marnin to ye," said Pat, 
 bowing to Cherry, as he had bowed to Ethel. 
 "It s easy to tell why it s a fine day."
 
 296 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 Cherry was unconscious enough to ask him 
 why. 
 
 "Sure, wid you out how could t help ut." 
 
 "Now will you be good, Cherry?" said I. 
 
 "You ve kissed the blarney stone," said 
 she, with a lovely blush. 
 "Sure I have, but I knew beauty before 
 that." 
 
 His tone was not offensive nor did Cherry 
 take offence. It was truth buttered with flat 
 tery and that s as good as cake. 
 
 Ethel now came out with the bowl, and the 
 big "bloomy" berries, damp with dew, were 
 poured into it. 
 
 "It s glad I am you re up here," said Pat, 
 as he walked down the path. * Neighbours is 
 neighbours, an phwin you re passin an 
 need restin it s fine buttermilk me ould wom 
 an 11 give ye, an glad of the chance. Good 
 marnin to yez." 
 
 Good morning, Mr. Casey, and thank you 
 very much for the berries. They re the best 
 I ve seen," said Ethel. 
 
 "They re dam fine, that s a fact," said he. 
 "But none too good for the likes of youse." 
 
 We all went in to the griddle cakes, but be-
 
 PAT CASEY CALLS 297 
 
 fore Minerva began to fry them we had heap 
 ing plates of blue berries and even as the 
 burglar had been impressed by them so were 
 Cherry and Ellery. 
 
 "I thought," said Ellery, "that your New 
 Englander was always on the make. 
 
 Well, in the first place, Pat is not, strictly 
 speaking, a New Englander," said Ethel, 
 "and in the second place, they re not always 
 on the make by any means, as we ve often 
 found out since we came here. Neighbourli- 
 ness is never sold and there s lots of neigh- 
 bourliness here." 
 
 "The very fact that neighbourliness is not 
 sold makes it the more necessary for coun 
 try people to get a good price for the things 
 they do sell," said I, sententiously. 
 
 "It s a great place," said Ellery, with en 
 thusiasm. "I believe I will try tennis this 
 morning," he added, somewhat irrelevantly, 
 although in justice to him it should be said 
 that his eyes had rested on Cherry s exube 
 rant beauty before he said it. 
 
 "I m a good deal of a duffer at it. I im 
 agine you play a strong game, Miss Paxton.
 
 298 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Will you be my partner in a four-handed 
 game?" 
 
 " Dee-lighted, " said Cherry, showing her 
 pretty teeth. 
 
 "The writing of the epic is indefinitely 
 postponed," said Ethel. "You are all alike, 
 you men." 
 
 l Wait till next winter, Mrs. Vernon, said 
 Ellery. "I m going to make myself a store 
 house of energy and I dare say Vernon s do 
 ing the same thing." 
 
 "Well, you ll need some of it this morn 
 ing," said I. "At tennis Mrs. Vernon and I 
 are the strongest up here. He looked doubt 
 ful. "It s a fact we are introducing the 
 game." 
 
 "Mr. Sibthorp and I expect to make a 
 pretty strong team," said Cherry. 
 
 Ethel s eyes sought mine. And found 
 them.
 
 CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 A CONTINUOUS WEEK END. 
 
 ETHEL was reading a letter, Ellery and 
 Cherry having brought the mail up 
 from the post-office. Ellery had now 
 been at Clover Lodge a fortnight and during 
 that time we had fished (for bull heads this 
 time), had gone on long tramps, had read to 
 each other, and had played many a game of 
 tennis, and while we could not say that Ellery 
 was in a fair way to propose to Cherry, he 
 was hard hit. 
 
 The glamour of the place had appealed to 
 him and neither he nor Cherry had any in 
 tention of going back until we went in Sep 
 tember. 
 
 Minerva had shown signs of homesickness, 
 and one day we had let her and James go to 
 Springfield to spend the day, and after her 
 return she had said, 
 
 "City ain t what it was," which we had 
 
 299
 
 300 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 taken to be a most encouraging sign. Nearly 
 three months out of New York and still 
 happy. Who would have predicted it ? 
 
 Ethel dropped the letter in her lap and 
 said, "What are we going to do, Philip? 
 This letter is from Madge Warden, and she 
 and Tom are going to a place in Vermont to 
 try it on the recommendation of a friend, and 
 Madge asks if it would be convenient to stop 
 off on the way up instead of on the way back. 
 She says that if we could find a shack for 
 them here, Tom wouldn t care to go to Ver 
 mont. 
 
 "Well, of course, have em come." 
 
 "Yes, but she wants to come this Friday 
 for over Sunday, and we ve invited the Bene 
 dicts for over Sunday." 
 
 I thought a minute. 
 
 "It would be great to have them all here, 
 because they are so congenial, but unless you 
 and I gave up our room and slept in ham 
 mocks " 
 
 "Why couldn t you and Ellery sleep in 
 hammocks and then I could let Madge share 
 my room with me and give the Benedicts the 
 spare room?"
 
 A CONTINUOUS WEEK END 301 
 
 "And what would become of Tom?" 
 
 "Oh, that s so," said Ethel. "I m afraid 
 we can t do it." 
 
 "They s a sofa in the wood-shed," said 
 Minerva, who had been dusting the sitting 
 room and always interested in household 
 problems, had stopped at the open window 
 outside of which we were sitting. 
 
 "So there is. Good for you, Minerva," 
 said I, in spite of a warning look from Ethel, 
 who says that at times I am too colloquial 
 with Minerva. 
 
 Ethel and I went around to the wood-shed 
 to look at it. It was across two rafters, but 
 with help from James, who was busy in the 
 vicinity, I got it down. 
 
 "So I m to write and tell them all to come? 
 Isn t this going to be a good deal of a drain 
 on your pocketbook, Philip?" 
 
 "We can t do worse than go home broke 
 and then I ll begin again." 
 
 " Easy come, easy go, " quoted Ethel, 
 with a half sigh. 
 
 "Don t you want em to come? Will it be 
 too hard on you?" 
 
 "No, no, we ll make them understand it s
 
 302 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 a picnic, but you will have to hustle in the 
 fall." 
 
 "Well, hustling never killed anybody, and 
 we ll have a summer to remember. It s a 
 lucky thing that James is so handy. He can 
 help in the kitchen." 
 
 And so the sofa was brought into the house 
 and dusted, and the Wardens were implored 
 to come up and told to take the same train 
 that the Benedicts were coming on, and the 
 haying season being practically over, we were 
 able to engage Bert s double team and his 
 three-seated wagon, and Friday afternoon 
 we all went down to meet them. 
 
 No, not all. We left Minerva behind. She 
 and James had to prepare a dinner for eight. 
 
 There was no accident on the way down, 
 and we arrived at the station several minutes 
 before the arrival of the train. 
 
 At last we heard the whistle below the 
 bridge and then it steamed in and we took up 
 our station around the parlour car and pre 
 pared to greet our guests. 
 
 But the only one to get off was a well-set 
 up young fellow in irreproachable apparel, 
 and he did not belong to us.
 
 A CONTINUOUS WEEK END 303 
 
 "Why, of course, they never would have 
 taken a parlour car. The Benedicts might, 
 but the Wardens wouldn t," said Ethel, and 
 we looked down the platform to see whether 
 they had alighted. But they had not. Our 
 guests had not come. 
 
 "Isn t it too provoking," said Cherry, 
 sympathetically to Ethel. 
 
 "It really is," said Ethel. "That dinner 
 will be stone cold if we wait for the next 
 train." 
 
 * * When is the next train ? asked Ellery. 
 
 "In two hours," I replied. "They won t 
 come to-night, though. Something happened 
 to Tom at the last minute and he asked the 
 rest to wait and they waited. We ll get a 
 telegram saying so. Everybody obeys his 
 will always." 
 
 The irreproachable stranger had been walk 
 ing around as if he was looking for some 
 body. He now approached me with uplifted 
 hat. 
 
 "Would you be so good as to tell me 
 whether Mr. Vernon lives near here?" 
 
 "I am Mr. Vernon." 
 
 He coloured, stammered and said.
 
 304 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 "I am Talcott Hepburn, and I am afraid 
 that I ve been led into an unpardonably rude 
 act." 
 
 Are you the son of Talcott Hepburn, the 
 art collector?" said I. 
 
 "Yes, oh, you know him then," said he, 
 relieved. My friend Tom Warden took the 
 liberty of bringing me along with him only 
 here he paused. "He has missed the 
 train. 
 
 I understood in a minute. Tom Warden is 
 an artist, and he is the soul of hospitality. 
 He knows Ethel and me as well as he knows 
 his father and mother, and it never had 
 occurred to his simple but executive soul that 
 there was anything unusual in his asking a 
 friend to come along without letting us know. 
 
 Of course, if we could accommodate eight 
 we could accommodate nine. But now it 
 looked as if we would have but five. 
 
 I presented Mr. Hepburn to the rest of the 
 "family." He was about twenty-four or 
 five, good looking, smooth shaven, of course, 
 with a sober expression that might have hid 
 den a humorous temperament, but did not. 
 It evidently did not strike him that there was
 
 A CONTINUOUS WEEK END 305 
 
 anything whimsical in his having arrived 
 ahead of the man who had invited him to 
 be the guest of a stranger. He did see, how 
 ever, that the act itself was one that might 
 be misconstrued, and he began to explain the 
 case to Ethel, who said at once, 
 
 "Why, Mr. Hepburn, Tom s friends are 
 our friends, and the more the merrier. I m 
 only sorry they missed the train." 
 
 "He was busy with a picture that some one 
 had bought and which he wasn t satisfied 
 with, and I dare say he missed it on that ac 
 count. He was coming with a Mr. and Mrs. 
 Benedict, and I was to meet him on the train. 
 I was a little late myself, and just had time 
 to step aboard, and they missed it." 
 
 While he was talking I was looking at the 
 telegraph office intending to step over there 
 it lay just across the track to enquire 
 whether there was a telegram for me. A 
 messenger boy came out, mounted a wheel, 
 and started across the track, bound for the 
 road that leads up to Clover Lodge. 
 
 I ran and intercepted him. 
 
 "Have you a telegram for Philip Ver- 
 non?"saidl.
 
 306 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 "Yes, sir," said he, dismounting and pull 
 ing the telegram out of his side pocket. "I 
 was just go n up to your place." 
 
 Saved me a dollar, didn t it ? " said I. 
 
 "Yes, sir, and lost me ten cents." 
 
 "Here s the ten cents," said I, as I signed 
 for the telegram. 
 
 "It s collect, sir," said he; "forty-five 
 cents." I paid Mm and I opened the envel 
 ope. 
 
 "All missed confounded train. Be good 
 to Hepburn if he caught it. Will come on 
 next train. Wait for us. Tom." 
 
 A most characteristic telegram in every 
 way. It s superfluity of expression, its 
 thought of Hepburn and its command to wait, 
 were all as like Tom Warden as they could 
 be. 
 
 "There s nothing to do lout wait," said I 
 when I had shown the telegram to the others. 
 
 "The dinner will be spoiled," said Ethel 
 ruefully. 
 
 "Let me walk up and tell Minerva to 
 wait," said Cherry, and Ellery enthusiastic 
 ally seconded her motion. 
 
 "Why, it seems too bad," began Ethel.
 
 A CONTINUOUS WEEK END 307 
 
 "Not at all. We re just going to take a 
 walk," said Cherry, and they started, well 
 pleased at the turn of affairs. 
 
 I knew young Hepburn to be a millionaire 
 in his own right and I knew that Ethel would 
 worry at having him see the make shifts to 
 which we resorted, but I was rather amused 
 at the prospect myself. We had already 
 shown the simple life to two New Yorkers 
 and now we would show it to some more. 
 
 We asked him if he would not like to ride 
 around Egerton and see a typical Massachu 
 setts town and he said he would. 
 
 "Do you know," said he to Ethel, "I held 
 back about coming up in such a very uncon 
 ventional way, but you know how compelling 
 Tom is, and he said he would explain it all 
 before I was even presented, and so I came. 
 And then to have him miss the train. It was 
 awkward. 
 
 "Simply one on Tom, Mr. Hepburn," said 
 I. "Our house is one of those affairs that 
 can be stretched to accommodate any number 
 of people if they themselves are accommo 
 dating. 
 
 "Well, you know," said Mr. Hepburn, "I
 
 308 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 might find a room at the hotel. Perhaps he 
 had thought he was not accommodating. 
 
 I knew that Ethel was wishing that he 
 would find a room at a hotel, but there was no 
 hotel. She was beginning to think how much 
 less a sofa would be than the bed he was ac 
 customed to sleep in when he was at home. 
 But when you are picnicking the only thing to 
 do is to have a good time and forget that 
 there is such a proverb as Other times, other 
 manners." 
 
 Our ride was pleasant and it did not seem 
 anything like two hours when we heard the 
 whistle of the train at South Egerton, and 
 drove rapidly to the station. 
 
 Hepburn offered to stay in the carriage and 
 mind the horses, and I accepted his offer, al 
 though I knew that Ethel thought it making 
 a very free use of a millionaire. Not that 
 Ethel is snobbish, but she has never used 
 millionaires much. 
 
 The train came in and this time I took up 
 my place by the ordinary cars, and soon saw 
 the quartette moving along the aisle. 
 
 Tom looked out of the window and saw 
 Hepburn sitting erect in the front seat of the
 
 A CONTINUOUS WEEK END 309 
 
 picnic wagon holding the unmistakably farm 
 horses, and he exploded into laughter that 
 we outside plainly heard. 
 
 "Hello," said he as soon as he emerged. 
 "Broken him in already. Well, here we are. 
 Better late than never. You know the Bene 
 dicts? 
 
 "What a question," said Ethel, kissing in 
 turn Madge and Mrs. Benedict. 
 
 "But we didn t know Mr. Hepburn," said 
 she saucily. 
 
 "Oh, well, he s harmless and I ll bet he 
 came out of it all right. Hello, Croesus. 
 Stole a march on us, eh?" 
 
 "Croesus" raised his derby, but good 
 driver that he was, kept his eyes on the 
 horses.
 
 CHAPTER XXVI. 
 
 WE INVITE MORE GUESTS. 
 
 Tl 7 ELL, Philip, my boy," said Tom, 
 V V slapping me on the knee when we 
 were all in our seats, and I had 
 relieved "Crresus" of the reins, "I suppose 
 it was an unpardonable piece of assurance 
 for me to invite a man you had never seen 
 without letting you know he was coming. 
 And then to let him come up first ! That was 
 certainly rubbing it in, but the poor boy 
 doesn t have a chance to get out much. Sort 
 of a fresh air charity on your part. 
 
 He roared with laughter at this sally of 
 his, and Hepburn smiled faintly. 
 
 This poor boy has always had to do the 
 society act, Philip, and he s fitted for better 
 things. Hope you haven t any hops up at 
 your house. Have you any hops?" 
 
 "Not a hop," said I. 
 
 "Nor a wtfBofi?" 
 
 310
 
 WE INVITE MOEE GUESTS 311 
 
 * Nor a cotillon. In fact, I m afraid it may 
 be rather dull for one who is accustomed to 
 do something all the time." 
 
 I m sure I 11 have a delightful time, said 
 Hepburn from the second seat. I m rather 
 tired. It ll be a jolly good thing for me." 
 
 "By George, isn t this a paintable coun 
 try?" broke in Tom. "If a man could only 
 get the fragrance of this air into his pictures 
 it would be no trouble to get rid of them." 
 
 "Inoculated already," laughed Ethel. 
 
 "Oh, I always get inoculated as soon as 
 I come to this kind of country. I was born 
 on prairie country and I never saw a hill until 
 I was eighteen, and then I wondered how I 
 had lived without em." He turned way 
 round. Pity you don t paint, Benedict. 
 
 Benedict, on the back seat, said, "Oh, I 
 don t have to do anything to enjoy this. Just 
 to be alive is enough in air like this. Isn t 
 it, Alice?" 
 
 And Alice agreed with him and the horses 
 bore us higher and higher, slower and slower, 
 and at last we arrived and Ellery and Cherry 
 greeted us. 
 
 James came out to relieve the guests of
 
 312 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 their suit cases and I invited all hands to go 
 to their rooms and remove the evidences of 
 their smoky ride. 
 
 When Ethel and Madge had come down 
 from our room I said to Ethel, 
 
 "No dressing, I suppose?" 
 
 "No, I suppose not," said she, and there 
 was a little note of regret in her voice. 
 
 I went up and washed and put on a cut 
 away and in a few minutes I came down and 
 walked back and forth on the veranda. 
 
 In about a quarter of an hour the three men 
 who were using Ellery s chamber as a dress 
 ing room came down the front stairs. I 
 caught a glimpse of them and lo, two were 
 in Tuxedos, and Hepburn was in full evening 
 clothes. 
 
 Quick as a wink, and before they saw me, 
 I whisked around to the back of the house, 
 and finding Ethel in the kitchen, where she 
 was superintending some salad arrangement, 
 I said, 
 
 "They re all dressed. Me to my evening 
 clothes. 
 
 "Good," said she. 
 
 I saw Ellery within calling distance. He
 
 WE INVITE MORE GUESTS 313 
 
 was in a sack coat. I hailed him and he came 
 up. 
 
 " Don t want to make em feel foolish. 
 They re all dressed. Run up and put on your 
 Tuxedo or whatever you have. Come into 
 my room to dress and we can help each 
 other." 
 
 He got his clothes and we hastened to my 
 room, where we made as quick changes as 
 we could. 
 
 Funny about Ethel, said I. * * She likes 
 simplicity, but she also likes evening clothes. 
 Says a man looks better. I won t wear a 
 Tuxedo and look like a bob-tailed cat, so I ve 
 got to go the whole thing. When she sees 
 five immaculate shirt fronts she ll be just 
 about happy." 
 
 "Well, it does look nice," said Ellery. 
 
 "Oh, I don t mind once I m in them." 
 
 At last we were ready all but our ties, and 
 none too soon, for we heard Ethel come into 
 the front hall and say, "Dinner s ready. 
 Where are the men?" 
 
 And then Madge said, "Oh, they had to 
 run up stairs at the last minute to get some 
 thing. Here they come."
 
 314 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 Ethel called up to me, * Hurry down, dear. 
 We ll go in informally." 
 
 "That s right. We ll be right down," 
 said I. 
 
 We heard the tramp of the other three, and 
 I would have run down on account of the 
 stranger within my gates, but Ellery asked 
 me to tie his cravat, and I made a botchy tie 
 of it, and finally Ethel called up from the 
 dining room. "We re all waiting, dear." 
 
 Then we both went down in our evening 
 clothes, and entered the dining room. 
 Around it stood the ladies and the three men, 
 and when we saw them and they saw us a 
 happy shout arose. The men were not in 
 evening dress. 
 
 They had seen me when they first came 
 down, and, as Tom explained afterward, Hep 
 burn, seeing that I was not in evening clothes, 
 had suggested that they all change back, 
 which Tom was very glad to do, as he hated 
 the durned things." 
 
 So there they stood in sacks and cutaway 
 and we were the only ones in evening dress. 
 
 "Well, I won t change back again," said
 
 WE INVITE MORE GUESTS 315 
 
 I, "but after this let s give our city clothes a 
 rest and just be comfortable." 
 
 "But I contend," said Benedict, "that 
 evening clothes are just as comfortable." 
 
 "Yes," said Tom, "but it s harder to get 
 into em, and if we go out walking after din 
 ner it s ridiculous to be dressed so stiffly in 
 a wild flower country." 
 
 It was a jolly dinner and no one did more 
 to make it jolly than Tom. His humour is ele 
 mental, but it is genuine, and his apprecia 
 tion of it is also genuine and his tremendous 
 reverberating laugh is infectious. 
 
 Many times during the progress of the meal 
 I found Hepburn s placid eyes resting on 
 Cherry. 
 
 "Two of them," thought I, and after din 
 ner Ethel and I compared notes and we 
 agreed that Cherry could have her choice. 
 
 Perhaps we jumped to conclusions, but to 
 see Cherry was to love her, and Ethel told 
 me that she was glad that Cherry was only 
 a little girl when I first met her or "you 
 might have been Mr. Paxton. 
 
 Phil, do you know who it would do good 
 to have up here?" said Tom, after a burst
 
 316 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 of enthusiasm concerning the country. 
 Jack Manton. Jack Manton and Billy Ed- 
 son. They re both stone broke and they re 
 getting their country by taking walks out of 
 New York, and this scenery would just about 
 kill em both dead. Why don t you ask em 
 up?" 
 
 A roar followed this question. 
 
 "Let em sleep in the chimney," I sug 
 gested, at which innocent remark Minerva, 
 who was waiting on table, gave a suppressed 
 giggle that set Cherry off and she was fol 
 lowed first by Ellery and then of all the peo 
 ple in the world, by Mr. Hepburn. Probably 
 Minerva s act itself was so unheard of that it 
 struck him as being humourous. A maid 
 laughing at table. 
 
 But it was a lucky thing that Minerva was 
 in the room. That is lucky for Jack and 
 Billy. 
 
 "Kin I say sump n?" said she to Ethel, 
 and Ethel, rather astonished, said, "What is 
 it?" 
 
 "They s a lot of boards out in the wood 
 shed, an James could build a place for those 
 gen lemen."
 
 WE INVITE MORE GUESTS 317 
 
 "The very thing," said Tom. That s it. 
 That s IT. Just ask em up and save their 
 lives. 
 
 "But you said it would kill em dead to 
 come up," said Cherry. 
 
 "Oh, they wouldn t stay dead five minutes 
 in this air, said he. Come on. If I hadn t 
 been an artist I would have been a carpenter. 
 Send for em. I 11 help build the shack. 
 
 I looked at Minerva. Her face was beam 
 ing. 
 
 She loved company. 
 
 "What do you think, Ethel?" 
 
 "Why, the more the merrier," said she. 
 Are they congenial ? 
 
 " Congenial s no name for it," said Tom. 
 "Both of em starving. Neither has sold a 
 picture in six months, and the night before I 
 came away they dropped in at my studio, and 
 when I told em where I was coming they 
 were as happy as if they were coming them 
 selves, and were going to share in it. Two 
 nice, promising boys, and perhaps this would 
 be their salvation." 
 
 "Have them come by all means " said 
 Ethel.
 
 318 MINEBVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 And Minerva went out to tell James the 
 good news.
 
 CHAPTER XXVII. 
 
 A HOT NIGHT. 
 
 IT was a hot, clear moonlit night. 
 Our newly arrived guests, after an 
 evening given up to piano music and 
 song, had retired to their various cubby 
 holes. 
 
 But peace did not lie upon the house, for 
 it was the hottest night of the season and 
 mosquitoes hitherto an undreaded foe, at 
 tracted by the unwonted light and the music, 
 had descended upon us and as, of course, 
 screens were not dreamed of in a place where 
 the mosquito rivals the tramp in scarceness, 
 they had entered the house and were singing 
 their infernal songs in the ears of people 
 fresh from a mosquitoless city. 
 
 I was mortified. It seemed a breach of 
 hospitality to invite people up to a place 
 where every prospect pleases and man is not 
 so vile, and then to let loose a horde of mos 
 quitoes upon them. 
 
 319
 
 320 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 It was between three and four in the morn 
 ing, and soon the first signs of dawn would 
 be upon us. 
 
 I was trying to be comfortable in a ham 
 mock slung under the boughs of the maple, 
 and Ellery was trying to be comfortable in 
 another hammock slung under other boughs, 
 but neither of us was making a success of it, 
 although he was fitfully sleeping. There 
 is something unmistakably enticing in the 
 thought of depending, cool and free from a 
 leafy arbour while the summer moon watches 
 over one s slumbers, and the lulling breezes 
 croon one to unconsciousness, but loyal as I 
 am to Clover Lodge and its vicinity, I am 
 more loyal to truth, and that night was a 
 night to be remembered for years even as the 
 blizzard is remembered but for opposite 
 reasons. 
 
 The air was still, but the mosquitoes were 
 not and neither were my guests. I could 
 hear them stirring and slapping and I feared 
 that some of them were cursing, and I longed 
 for dawn with all my heart. Dawn and the 
 hot day that would follow in its wake, for at
 
 r A HOT NIGHT 321 
 
 least we could escape to some lofty point, 
 where the mosquitoes would not follow us. 
 
 I knew that Tom and Benedict were used 
 to all sorts of experiences, and I knew their 
 wives too well to think for a moment that 
 they would hold me responsible for the night 
 and the winged pests, but Hepburn 
 
 Hepburn had been raised in the lap of lux 
 ury, and when I thought of his tall form ac 
 commodating itself to the ornate but con 
 tracted sofa, I felt so uncomfortable that I 
 thought of going in and asking him to swap 
 couches with me and change discomfort. 
 
 I fell into a doze, from which I was awak 
 ened by hearing a step on the gravelled path. 
 
 I was wide awake in an instant. 
 
 Between me and the moon was outlined the 
 tall form of Hepburn, fully clothed and smok 
 ing a cigar. 
 
 "Is that you, Mr Hepburn? * said I. 
 
 "Yes," said he, softly, so as to awaken no 
 one else. "Did I wake you? Pardon me." 
 
 1 Oh, that s all right. But why are you up 
 and dressed?" 
 
 "Why," said he, very glibly, "the night is 
 so beautiful and bright that it seems a sin to
 
 322 MINEKVA S MANCEUVBES 
 
 sleep, don t you know. I thought I d stroll 
 about a bit." 
 
 My conscience smote me. 
 
 "It was that sofa, wasn t it?" 
 
 "Don t say a word. Sofa s awfully jolly, 
 but I think I drank too much coffee." 
 
 "What s the matter?" said Ellery, wak 
 ing up. 
 
 "What do you say to a swim?" said I. 
 
 "When?" said Ellery, sleepily. 
 
 "Why, now. How does it strike you, Mr. 
 Hepburn?" 
 
 "Great." 
 
 Ellery, still half asleep, rubbed his eyes 
 and then saw Hepburn for the first time. 
 
 "Why, is it as early as that?" said he. 
 
 "Earlier," said Hepburn, which was not 
 so bad. 
 
 I had sat up in the hammock, and setting 
 my feet in my slippers, I rose to my pajamaed 
 height and said, 
 
 "This is the hottest ever. I ll get the 
 other fellows and we ll go over to Marsh s 
 Pond and have a swim at sunrise." 
 
 I tiptoed up to the hot box that contained
 
 323 
 
 Tom and Benedict and whispered to them, 
 "Are you awake?" 
 
 Tom answered, "Oh, no, we re sound 
 asleep and dreaming of icebergs." 
 
 Then I could hear him shaking the bed with 
 suppressed laughter. 
 
 "Well, come along for a swim. Get into 
 your old clothes and don t make a noise." 
 
 In a few minutes we were all ready. We 
 passed under Minerva s window, and al 
 though we stepped lightly we waked her and 
 we heard her heavy feet coming down on the 
 floor of her room. 
 
 I knew that a yawp was due, so I said in a 
 voice loud enough to reach her, "Don t be 
 frightened, Minerva. It isn t burglars. It s 
 Mr. Vernon going for a walk." 
 
 Lawdy, I thought it was more burglars, 
 said she, and heaved a sigh of relief. 
 
 Other voices were now heard and from the 
 window of the spare room was thrust the 
 head of Madge, who demanded what was the 
 trouble. 
 
 "Lack of sleep," said Tom. "We re go 
 ing for a swim. Down to the old swimmin 
 hole, my dear."
 
 324 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 "What won t men do?" said Madge, and 
 retired to envy us our privileges. 
 
 "Might as well tell Ethel what we re do 
 ing. She may be worried," said I, and we 
 walked under her window. 
 
 "Give em a song," said Benedict, who was 
 a fine baritone, and he began it, " Sleep no 
 more, ladies, sleep no more. 
 
 He sang it as a solo as none of us knew 
 the setting he used, but as an injunction it 
 was needless. The ladies were not calculat 
 ing on sleeping any more. 
 
 Where are you going ? asked Ethel from 
 somewhere out of sight. 
 
 "Oh, only down to the old swimmin hole," 
 said Tom. 
 
 "Why, there s no swimming hole any 
 where s near," said she. 
 
 "Marsh s Pond, my dear," said I. "This 
 is a record-breaker for heat and we re going 
 to break the record for swimming at an un 
 seasonable hour. We ll be back for break 
 fast. Good night." 
 
 "How far is it?" asked Tom. 
 
 "Oh, only a couple of miles or so," said I. 
 "We ll take it easy there and back."
 
 A HOT NIGHT 325 
 
 "Please may I be excused," said Benedict. 
 "I m not in training for such a walk on an 
 empty stomach." 
 
 "That s easily remedied. We ll fill up on 
 cold lamb." 
 
 And we did fill up, and then we started, and 
 in spite of the heat, we enjoyed, the walk. It 
 was after three and it would need the pencil 
 of a poet and artist combined to tell of the 
 wonders and the beauties of that walk with 
 the delicate indications of the coming dawn 
 filling the east with rosy promise. 
 
 Marsh s Pond is about two miles long and 
 a half a mile wide, and it has at one point a 
 sandy beach. Around it are cottages and 
 bathing houses, most of them bearing the 
 idyllic names that lake dwellers love to be 
 stow upon their houses. We passed "The 
 Inglenook" and "The Ingleside" and "Ingle- 
 wild," and "Tramp s Best," and many an 
 other bearing equally felicitous titles, and at 
 last we came to the sandy beach just as the 
 sun cast its first golden beams on the foliage 
 of the woods across the lake. 
 
 "Hepburn, you re a brick for waking up 
 so early, said Tom. If only I had thought
 
 326 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 to bring along my little flask. It s just the 
 thing before a morning swim. 
 
 "If you don t mind Scotch," said Hepburn, 
 producing a cunning little silver flask. 
 
 Ellery was on the water wagon, but the rest 
 of us drank to the rising sun and then plunged 
 in and were cool. 
 
 It was worth the walk, said Benedict, as 
 he dove and emerged twenty feet beyond. 
 "Why don t people do this every day?" 
 
 With the sun had come a gentle breeze that 
 was several degrees cooler than the surround 
 ing atmosphere had been, and we spent a 
 pleasant half hour admiring the coming of 
 day from our watery vantage. 
 
 After we had come out we went into the 
 bathing house, which went by the name of 
 Tramp s Best. It was a roomy affair, and 
 had been left open all winter, or we would 
 have been unable to enter it. 
 
 "We ll put up a shack like that," said 
 Tom, "and Jack and Billy can bunk in it." 
 
 "I m afraid we haven t lumber enough," 
 said I. 
 
 When we were ready to go home Hepburn 
 and Ellery said they were going back by what
 
 A HOT NIGHT 327 
 
 is called the upper road, which is a half mile 
 farther, but we chose the lower road, and 
 were home a good half hour ahead of them. 
 
 It was after six and we were ravenous. A. 
 west wind was blowing and it had blown the 
 crazy horde of mosquitoes away, and it was 
 much cooler, and I am thankful to say that 
 not again that summer did we have such a 
 visitation. Mosquitoes might always be 
 found in the long grass, but it was easy to 
 avoid them. 
 
 Minerva prepared an early breakfast, and 
 just as we sat down to it Ellery and Hepburn 
 arrived. 
 
 How do you like it as far as you ve got, 
 Talcott?" asked Tom, as we all sat down. 
 
 "Well, do you know I read this Simple 
 Life, that the President recommended, and 
 I didn t see such an awful lot in it, but if this 
 is it, it s all right. I don t think I ever had 
 such an appetite for breakfast before. 
 
 "After being awake all night you ought 
 to have, said I, in an apologetic tone. You 
 see the Wheelocks had two young children 
 and they did not entertain and as we took the
 
 328 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 house furnished we were not prepared as we 
 should have been." 
 
 "But it s nice to have the house full all the 
 time," said Ethel, who evidently thought my 
 remark ungracious. 
 
 "No question of its having been filled last 
 night," said Tom, rubbing his cheek, "Filled 
 with mosquitoes. I thought they never came 
 up here." 
 
 * You might say they never do. Last night 
 was an exception," said I. 
 
 "Dear, dear, how like Jersey that sounds. 
 Jersey nights are made up of exceptions," 
 said Tom. 
 
 Minerva appeared at the door, not with 
 her hand raised, but in an attitude that said 
 "Please, may I speak," and Ethel, with a 
 hasty look at Hepburn, said, "What is it, 
 Minerva ? 
 
 "Now James wanted to know where s he s 
 to build that lean to." 
 
 "The what?" said Ethel. 
 
 "That s all right," said Tom, grasping the 
 situation. "You tell James to wait until 
 after breakfast and I ll come out and show 
 him."
 
 r A HOT NIGHT 329 
 
 Minerva shut the door and Tom said, She 
 believes in free speech." 
 
 "I must speak to her," said Ethel. 
 
 But there was a general chorus of objec 
 tions, Hepburn expressing his opinion by 
 saying, It strikes me as awfully quaint, you 
 know. 
 
 After breakfast Tom took me aside and 
 said, 
 
 "Now, see here, Phil, this deluge wasn t 
 expected by you, but I don t see any indica 
 tion of the waters subsiding. We all want 
 to stay. Now hospitality is hospitality, but 
 we re not paupers and we re not rich enough 
 to feel that we can live on you all summer 
 without a murmur. You understand 1 Now, 
 I ve forced Billy and Jack on you, and I ve 
 been talking with Hepburn and Benedict, and 
 we re going to form a pool to cover expenses. 
 Don t want you to make a cent out of us, but 
 we don t want you to be out of pocket, and 
 so if you ll let us pay our share of the bills 
 when they come in we ll stay. Otherwise we 
 all go back to-morrow. Yes, sir, we all go 
 back to-morrow. I m in earnest." 
 
 Tom was a curious mixture of simplicity
 
 330 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 and worldly wisdom, and I could not help 
 laughing at him. 
 
 Well, go home," said I, "and leave us 
 to ourselves." 
 
 He put his arm around my shoulder. 
 
 "Now, you don t mean that at all, old man. 
 You were both glad to see us and you want 
 us to stay. Hepburn s having the time of his 
 life." 
 
 "With his midnight walks?" 
 
 "That s all right. It was part of the fun. 
 Now, I m going to see about getting some cot 
 beds because Hepburn is too long for that 
 sofa. Where can I get a wagon?" 
 
 I told him about Bert, and he went on to see 
 James about the lean to. 
 
 Later I met Hepburn. He came up as if 
 he wanted to speak about something that was 
 weighing on his mind, and I expected to have 
 him tell me that he had just received a tele 
 gram calling him home at once, but I was 
 mistaken. 
 
 "It s no end jolly up here," said he, "but 
 I can see that we re a good deal of a house 
 hold for Mrs. Vernon. She doesn t look 
 strong. Now, isn t there some place near by
 
 A HOT NIGHT 331 
 
 where we could arrange to stay, don t you 
 know, and come over here for tennis and all 
 that sort of thing? I d like to come up 
 again. 
 
 "Why, you re not going?" 
 
 "Why, I really ought to, you know. So 
 unexpected my coming and all that sort of 
 thing." 
 
 Ethel had heard us talking and she came 
 out of the house. 
 
 "We don t want you to think of going, Mr. 
 Hepburn, if you can be comfortable. I ll be 
 able to borrow a bed to-night and if Mr. 
 Warden builds that temporary shed, in such 
 weather as this you ll be comfortable sort of 
 camping out." 
 
 "Oh, I m all right. The mosquitoes were 
 a bit annoying, but everything else is all 
 right. I m feeling very fit this morning, I 
 assure you." 
 
 "Then don t think of going," said I. 
 
 And then Cherry came out with the tennis 
 net and Hepburn relieved her of it immedi 
 ately and went with her to put it up, and El- 
 lery and Mrs. Benedict came out a minute
 
 332 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 later and announced that they were going for 
 a little walk. 
 
 Ethel, with a suggestive glance at me, that 
 seemed to imply that all was not right be 
 tween Cherry and Ellery, went into the house 
 to invite "Jack" and "Billy," while I went 
 down to James s house to see about engaging 
 James s little sister to help Minerva. If we 
 were going to be a hotel we would need more 
 help. 
 
 As I passed the woodshed I saw Tom in 
 his shirt sleeves sawing planks, while Bene 
 dict and James were acting as willing help 
 ers. 
 
 The only one who was doing nothing was 
 Madge, so I hunted her up and invited her 
 to go with me to the house of James. 
 
 And thus continued the day begun so early 
 in the morning.
 
 CHAPTER XXVIII. 
 
 TRAMP S BEST." 
 
 TOM had discontinued work on the lean- 
 to for some untold reason, and just 
 after lunch he and Hepburn had gone 
 over to Bert s to get the horse and go for the 
 cots. 
 
 The rest of us broke up into convenient 
 groups and tennised or walked, but by the 
 middle of the afternoon a drowsiness came 
 over us, superinduced by our sleepless night, 
 and with the exception of Ethel and Mrs. 
 Benedict, who were helping prepare dinner, 
 .we all slept, some in hammocks, one on the 
 ornate sofa and the rest in the three bed 
 rooms. 
 
 And then, just before dinner, Tom and 
 Hepburn not having come, we all went out 
 to look for them. 
 
 It ought not to have taken them long to 
 
 333
 
 334 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 buy two cot beds and bring them up, and they 
 had been gone four hours at least. 
 
 We walked upwards of a mile toward town, 
 and at last came to a rock, from the top of 
 which we could command a view of the rest 
 of the road to Egerton, but there was no sign 
 of Bert s wagon. 
 
 "Well," said Ethel, "we d better be start 
 ing back, for dinner ought to be ready soon. 
 
 And so we sauntered back, expecting every 
 minute to be overtaken by the cot bringers. 
 
 We arrived at the house and all entered by 
 the south door, attracted thereto by the re 
 cumbent figures of our truants. Each one 
 was reclining gracefully upon a cot reading, 
 and smoking excellent cigars. 
 
 "Here, here," said Tom, when he saw us. 
 "This will never do. Dinner s ready this 
 ten minutes, and Hepburn and I are starv 
 ing." 
 
 As soon as Hepburn had seen us he had 
 risen from his couch, but Tom continued to 
 lie there blocking the doorway. 
 
 "What about that lean-to," said I. 
 
 Tom rose and folded up his cot as an Arab 
 is supposed to fold his tent. Then he set
 
 "TRAMP S REST * 335 
 
 it up against the side of the house and said 
 oracularly : 
 
 "The lean-to is indefinitely postponed. 
 We know more than we did this morning." 
 
 "Well, but where have you been? We 
 walked half way to town and didn t see you, 
 said Ethel. 
 
 "Exploring the country. Haven t we, Tal- 
 cott." 
 
 "It s a beautiful country," said Talcott, 
 laughing. 
 
 All through dinner those two seemed to 
 have a secret, and as near as we could make 
 out, Minerva was in it, because every time 
 she came into the room and looked at Tom 
 she smothered chuckles. 
 
 After dinner Tom said, "Mrs. Vernon, 
 what do you say to our taking our coffee in 
 the summer house ? 
 
 "In the summer house," said Ethel, "why, 
 there isn t any summer house." 
 
 "Well, whatever you call it, then. Mi 
 nerva, you bring it to us there. 
 
 Minerva broke out into childlike laughter. 
 
 "All right, sir, I will."
 
 Then she looked at her mistress and said, 
 i Kin I do it, ma am. 
 
 Ethel shook her head at Tom and said, 
 
 "You re a bad boy. All this is subversive 
 of discipline." But she told Minerva to do 
 as Mr. Warden wished, and, Tom leading the 
 way, we all went out of the house feeling that 
 we were on the verge of a surprise. 
 
 Out the front door and north of the house 
 we went and then around to the lesser or 
 chard at the back of it and there, between two 
 apple trees, stood a "summer house," over 
 the dilapidated door of which was a sign read 
 ing "Tramp s Best." 
 
 We who had bathed that morning recog 
 nized in it the bath house in which we had 
 dressed. 
 
 "How did you get that here!" said several 
 of us at once. 
 
 "If you don t mind having it on your 
 land," said Hepburn, "I d like to make you a 
 present of it. I took a fancy to it this morn 
 ing and this afternoon Tom and I drove over 
 there on our way from, town and brought it 
 back."
 
 " TRAMP S BEST > : 337 
 
 "Yes, "but who said you could take it ! " said 
 Benedict. 
 
 "Oh, I bought it this morning. Mr. Sib- 
 thorp and I found out the owner and he was 
 willing to sell it for a song." 
 
 "But how did you get it here on that 
 wagon 1 
 
 "Oh, we didn t. We had this er Bert s 
 horses but an Irishman of the name of 
 Casey loaned us his hay wagon and he felt 
 insulted when I offered to pay him for the 
 use of it. He really became violently abus 
 ive, don t you know, and used highly colored 
 language, but we could see that he meant 
 well. Really I thought him something of a 
 character. Didn t you think him a character, 
 Mr. Sibthorp?" 
 
 "He certainly was," said Sibthorp. "He 
 had no opinion at all of Bert s horses. Said 
 he had an ould ould " 
 
 "Ould scut," I suggested. 
 
 "That s it. Said he had an ould scut of a 
 horse that would walk right away from Bert s 
 pair, and that any time we wanted to take the 
 young ladies out for a ride to come and take 
 him right out of the stall, whether he was
 
 338 MINERVA S MANCEU7BES 
 
 there or not. His language was ornamented 
 with picturesque oaths that wouldn t sound 
 well here, but they were awfully funny. 
 
 "I guess he said nothing that he wouldn t 
 say before anyone," said Ethel. 
 
 Sibthorp gave her a whimsical look. * Ex 
 cuse me," said he, "but I guess that when 
 you ve heard him talk he has repressed his 
 vocabulary. 
 
 "Why," said Ethel, "you know he came 
 with berries the morning after you came. 
 
 "Oh," said Ellery, "he had sworn off that 
 morning. You ought to have heard him to 
 day." 
 
 "Perfectly willing to let it go at imagin 
 ing," said Ethel. 
 
 And then Minerva came out with the lilting 
 walk that was hers when she was happy. She 
 bore a tray and set it down on a rustic table 
 that I remembered to have seen in the furni 
 ture store at Egerton the week before. 
 
 "Here s to the Tramp s Best, 7 " said Tom 
 when we had all been provided with coffee. 
 "I boney a cot in this house to-night. 
 You fellows can sleep in rooms if you want. 
 For me the stars through the cracks.
 
 CHAPTER XXIX. 
 
 MINERVA AND THE SNAKE. 
 
 THE latter part of the week Ethel re 
 ceived a letter from Billy, saying that 
 he and Jack would be delighted to 
 come up. 
 Billy s letter was characteristic. It ran : 
 
 My Dear Mrs. Vernon : 
 
 "You are a kind, good lady. Jack agrees 
 with me in this. You have saved our lives. 
 It has been a long time since we sold any 
 pictures, and we have forgotten the address 
 of our bank, so we were not thinking of going 
 to any summer resort this summer, but your 
 invitation could not be refused without insult 
 ing you. 
 
 " It is not entirely as if we were strangers, 
 however, because we know Tom (oh, don t 
 we know him) and we know your husband. 
 Tom has brought him to the Olla Podrida 
 Club more than once and has made him smoke 
 the club cigars which we thought unkind. So 
 we have a certain sympathy with your hus- 
 
 339
 
 340 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 band and are prepared to like him better the 
 more we know him. 
 
 "Will you please ask Tom to tell us what 
 train to take, and also to do any other things 
 that are necessary. He will understand. 
 
 "Please give my regards to Miss Paxton. 
 You mentioned her as part of your party/ 
 and she must be a large part, unless she has 
 changed. I used to know her before I came 
 to New York, when she was a little girl (three 
 years ago). 
 
 "Jack wants me to tell you that whatever I 
 think of you he thinks also, and that you do 
 not know how much you have done for ART 
 IN AMERICA by making it possible for us 
 to set down on canvas the beauties of your 
 state. (I m not sure whether that should be 
 a capital S or not.) 
 
 "Yours cordially, 
 
 "WILLIAM EDSON." 
 
 When we showed the letter to Tom and 
 asked him what Mr. Edson meant by saying, 
 "ask Tom to do any other things that are 
 necessary," he burst into a roar of laughter. 
 
 1 1 That means in plain English that the dear 
 boys are stone broke, and that they will need 
 money before they can buy their tickets. I 
 will telegraph them ten dollars."
 
 "Do you mean to say," said Benedict, 
 "that those young men are going to borrow 
 the money to come up here?" 
 
 "Yes, why not?" said Tom with just a sus 
 picion of heat in his tone. 
 
 "Why, nothing," said Benedict, "only I d 
 stay in the city all summer before I d borrow 
 money to go away. I d be too independent." 
 
 "Independent, poppycock," said Tom. 
 "We re told to let independence be our boast, 
 but we re also told that it s wrong to boast. 
 So it s wrong to boast of independence. No 
 man can be independent in this world. He 
 relies on one man to bring him into the world 
 and on another to bury him, and all the time 
 he s here he s relying on one person or an 
 other. The only thing is for him to accept 
 help and be willing to help. That s all," 
 Tom laughed. "Sermon s over. Collection 
 will now be taken up to bring those two babes 
 to the place where they can make bread for 
 next winter. No, sir. You, Phil, can not 
 contribute. This hard-as-nails Benedict, who 
 thinks he s made his own way, and who has 
 been helped all along by our free institutions, 
 will chip in, and so will old Croesus when he
 
 342 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 comes back from his horse-back ride with 
 Cherry." He paused. "Sibthorp ought to 
 learn to ride." 
 
 Benedict s hand went down into his pocket 
 and brought out a bill. 
 
 Now, see here, said Tom. l I don t want 
 you to have the idea that you re doing a 
 charitable act, for you re not. Those boys 
 are going to give us a couple of sketches be 
 fore they go back, and we ll sell them for 
 more than ten dollars and refund pro rata. 
 Will that satisfy your sordid business soul?" 
 
 Benedict drew off and gave Tom a friendly 
 punch. They were always insulting each 
 other, having been friends for years, and 
 both of them members of the Olla Podrida 
 Club, which, by the way, is an association of 
 artists and men interested in art. Benedict 
 buys a picture once in a while and, according 
 to Tom, when he relies on the advice of ani 
 artist friend, he gets a good one. When he 
 relies on his own judgment he gets something 
 that provides no end of amusement to all the 
 artists except the one who painted the pic 
 ture.
 
 MINERVA AND THE SNAKE 343 
 
 "I want none of your impudence, Tom," 
 said he, and then Minerva interrupted. 
 
 It seems as if Minerva were always inter 
 rupting and generally with a shriek. 
 
 "Oh, Lawdy! Lawdy! there s a big worm 
 in the kitchen!" cried she as she came run 
 ning out of the sitting room to where we were 
 standing. 
 
 "Worms can t hurt you, Minerva," said 
 Tom. Go get a bird and see him catch the 
 worm. 
 
 * Oh, my ! but this worm would eat any bird 
 I ever saw. It s that long." 
 
 She showed how long it was, and Tom said, 
 
 < < Why, it must be a snake. 
 
 We men ran into the kitchen, and there, 
 sure enough, was a little green snake about 
 a foot long and frightened in every inch. 
 
 Tom picked up the mop, and carefully aim 
 ing at the little creature, he brought it down 
 about three feet away from it. For the snake 
 had eluded him. 
 
 Minerva s curiosity was greater than her 
 fear, and she came to the door of the kitchen 
 to watch us. 
 
 Benedict picked up a broom and made a
 
 344 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 swipe at the snake that upset a pitcher of 
 milk, but missed the snake which coiled its 
 pretty green length in the middle of the floor 
 raised its pretty head and darted out a 
 needle-like and beautifully red tongue at us 
 in a way that reminded me of the Morse al 
 phabet. 
 
 I cannot explain why I was thus reminded, 
 and probably such a reminder was far from 
 the snake s intention. 
 
 I could not help feeling sorry for the little 
 fellow. They say that snakes love milk. 
 Here was a place flowing with milk, but he. 
 could not stop to drink it because three huge 
 beings threatened his very life. 
 
 "Can he jump?" said Minerva, preparing 
 to jump herself. 
 
 "No, Minerva, he is perfectly harmless," 
 said I, resolved to save his life. "Say, you 
 fellows, stop whacking at him and capture 
 him alive. I want to show Minerva that these 
 snakes haven t a vicious thought in their 
 heads." 
 
 I took the mop from Tom, and watching 
 my chance, I brought it down on the snake
 
 MINERVA AND THE SNAKE 345 
 
 in such a way as to pin it, wriggling. Then 
 I picked it up by the neck. 
 
 "Oh, Lawdy!" cried Minerva, and step 
 ping backward trod on the tail of Miss Pussy 
 who happened to be coming into the kitchen. 
 
 Miss Pussy emitted a yell that Minerva 
 firmly believed to come from the mouth of 
 the snake, and clapping both her hands to 
 her ears she rushed through the dining room 
 and met Ethel coming in. 
 
 Ethel and she met on their foreheads, and 
 Minerva was not hurt at all. Ethel, however, 
 was hard hit, and, infected with Minerva s 
 panic, she turned and ran through the sitting 
 room into the arms of Madge, who had come 
 to see what was happening. 
 
 Madge was almost bowled over, but man 
 aged to withstand the shock, and brought the 
 chain of concussions to an end. 
 
 I am perhaps a crank on the subject of 
 snakes, but I do object to the senseless panic 
 that seizes on some people when they see one. 
 Now, if it were a mouse, it would be different. 
 A mouse has cluttering little feet and a meth 
 od of approach that reminds one of happen 
 ings in a previous state of existence, and I
 
 confess that a mouse in a room will spoil 
 my peace of mind, but a snake is generally 
 good to look upon, and it is graceful beyond 
 measure, and it is nearly always harmless 
 and perfectly willing to leave you most of 
 the world for your inheritance. 
 
 So I kept hold of the snake, and after Ethel 
 had assured me that she was not seriously 
 hurt by the impact of Minerva s splendidly 
 built skull, I told her that I wanted to give 
 Minerva a little lesson in natural history. 
 
 There is one thing about Minerva. She 
 is a reasonable being. Her fear of cows van 
 ished after we had assured her that cows 
 were for the most part friendly, and as there 
 were no rattle-snakes in the vicinity, I knew 
 I was safe in calming her fears in regard to 
 the snake. So I asked her and the rest to 
 come out of doors and I would show her 
 what a perfectly innocuous thing our little 
 green friend was. 
 
 "Nearly everything we meet out doors, 
 Minerva," said I, "is disposed to leave us 
 alone if we will leave it alone. This little 
 green snake, that looks as if it were fresh 
 from Ireland, is only anxious now to get
 
 MINERVA AND THE SNAKE 347 
 
 away from me and rejoin its little ones. If 
 you kept the kitchen full of snakes there 
 would never be any flies there, because snakes 
 love flies. Come and stroke him. I give you 
 my word he will neither sting nor bite." 
 
 Minerva came up with confidence, and amid 
 shrieks from all the women she patted the 
 little green head, and the little red tongue 
 came out and spelled a message of love to her. 
 
 "See there, Minerva! He wants to show 
 you that he is perfectly friendly." 
 
 "My, aint he clean!" 
 
 * Of course he s clean. Snakes are all the 
 while washing themselves with their 
 tongues. I caught Ethel s eye, and felt that 
 my natural history was shaky, but I wanted 
 to make an interesting story for Minerva, 
 and who cares for facts in natural history, 
 so long as you have something that will be 
 read? 
 
 "I dare say that at one time snakes and 
 cats belonged to the same family. When 
 you see a cat crouched down and creeping 
 along after a bird, it looks like a snake. Its 
 head is flattened and its ears are laid back
 
 348 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 and its tail looks just like a snake in itself. 
 Probably snakes once had fur " 
 
 "And they rubbed it all off creepin 
 round." 
 
 "Exactly. Now, take this little snake and 
 be kind to him and overcome your antipathy 
 to him " 
 
 As I said this I loosened my hold on him, 
 preparatory to handing him to Minerva. 
 
 But instead of going to Minerva, he turned 
 and made his way swiftly up my arm and 
 around my neck. 
 
 Ugh. I never felt anything so creepy in 
 my life. I flung him from me (with a wild 
 cry, Ethel says, although I think she is mis 
 taken). At any rate I tossed the snake far 
 from me, and he made his sinuous, chilly, 
 gliding, repulsive way to his waiting family. 
 And probably wrote a book on the bad habits 
 of human beings from his short and super 
 ficial observation of them. 
 
 There is a certain rooted antipathy to 
 snakes that lies deep at the base of our being. 
 I cannot explain it, but I know it s^ there. I 
 am no snake charmer. 
 
 Minerva might have said something, but
 
 MINERVA AND THE SNAKE 349 
 
 she knew her place, and refrained. She 
 merely went out to the kitchen and guffawed 
 all by herself, while I, ignoring the remarks 
 of my friends, went upstairs to wash the feel- 
 ing of cold snake from my neck.
 
 CHAPTER XXX. 
 
 A HORSEHEAD PERCH. 
 
 I ENJOY the luxury of being absent- 
 minded sometimes. I claim that to be 
 absent-minded once in a while proves 
 that one has a mind to be absent. 
 
 I was absent-minded the day that Jack and 
 Billy were expected and I went over to the 
 lake to fish for bass with Sibthorp, with 
 never a thought of them. 
 
 The rest of my guests went their various 
 ways and left the house to Ethel and Mi 
 nerva, and about an hour before train time 
 Ethel realized that I had done nothing about 
 getting the expected arrivals. 
 
 "Can you drive a horse, Minerva!" said 
 she. 
 
 "I kin sit in the wagon and hold the reins." 
 
 "Well, I guess that s all that s necessary, 
 but I can t even do that. You ll have to 
 take me down to get the men who are ex 
 pected. 
 
 350
 
 A HORSEHEAD PERCH 351 
 
 "Yas m." 
 
 "We must go at once and get Mr. Casey s 
 horse." 
 
 I must explain that Ethel knew that 
 "th ould scut" had had the blind staggers 
 the day before and that Pat had explained 
 that he could not have two attacks the same 
 week, as the blood letting simply rejuvenated 
 him. 
 
 So the two set off for Pat s and found him 
 unhitching his horse. 
 
 "Oh, have you just been to town?" said 
 Ethel (as she told me afterwards). 
 
 "Sure I have. Can I git y anny thing 
 there!" 
 
 "Why, I wanted to meet two friends who 
 are coming up. If I d known you were go 
 ing down " 
 
 "I d have waited arl night fer them. An- 
 nything to oblige a leddy. Take him though, 
 you. He s gentle as a kitten. Gentler, be 
 cause I ve not spared im. He ll not have 
 the blind staggers. I bled him like a pig yes- 
 tiddy, an he s fresh as the morning." 
 
 As he talked he harnessed him up again
 
 352 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 and invited the two to get in and he d turn 
 him around and start them right. 
 
 "What 11 I do if anything happens, Mr. 
 Casey?" 
 
 "Sit on his head and holler fer help." 
 
 Oh, of course, said Ethel. I read that 
 in a book. 
 
 Minerva went off in an ecstacy of laugh 
 ter. 
 
 "What are you laughing at, Minerva?" 
 asked Ethel. 
 
 "I was wonderin how you d get up to his 
 head." 
 
 "Why, Mr. Casey means if he falls down. 
 Don t you, Mr. Casey?" 
 
 " Deed an I do. But he won t fall down. 
 He s strarng as a horse an gentle as a -as 
 a litter of kittens. He knows it s a leddy be 
 hind him, an he ll have plisant thoughts of 
 you arl the way down. But don t use the 
 whip. After bleedin he s a bit skitterful." 
 
 We had had the horse several times at a 
 pinch and Ethel knew that he always cau 
 tioned against use of the whip, although 
 th ould scut s hide was as tough as that fa-
 
 A HORSEHEAD PERCH 353 
 
 mous one found in the pit where the tanner 
 died." 
 
 "You take the reins, Minerva," said Ethel. 
 
 Minerva took them and pulled them up so 
 tight that she almost yanked the horse into 
 the wagon. 
 
 "Oh, he ll never stumble. A loose rein 
 an a kind worrd an th whip in the socket 
 an 11 he go like the breezes of Ballinasloe. 
 Good bye an God bless you." 
 
 And so they started and the horse went 
 along in a leisurely manner as was his wont. 
 Once he strayed off to the roadside to crop 
 the verdant mead and as Minerva pulled on 
 the wrong rein she nearly upset the wagon. 
 But she was quick to learn, and before they 
 had gone a mile Ethel said she drove as if 
 she had been doing it all day. 
 
 They found that the horse had the pleas 
 ing habit of picking up apples that lay in the 
 road for their way ran by several apple- 
 trees, and there were windfalls in plenty. As 
 he was not checked, every time this happened 
 Ethel felt as if they were going to be pitched 
 out head foremost, but they made their first 
 mile in safety and then the horse, reaching
 
 a level stretch got a gait on him" and 
 trotted along in good shape for nearly half a 
 mile. 
 
 When they came to the place called "long 
 hill" Ethel got out so that the horse would 
 have less difficulty in making the descent. 
 
 Minerva, innocent as a child as to the 
 proper thing to do, did not tighten the check! 
 rein nor did she take in the slack in the reins, 
 but resting her hands idly in her lap chir 
 ruped to the horse as she had heard James 
 do, and he began the "perilous descent." 
 
 Half way down he saw a bit of hay in the 
 road, and being of a mind to eat it, he lowered 
 his head at the very moment that he stepped 
 on a loose stone, and the next minute Mi 
 nerva was over the dashboard, and the horse 
 and she lay in the road together. 
 
 She was the first one to pick herself up. 
 In fact she was the only one to do it, as Ethel 
 was several rods away and almost too 
 frightened to stir. 
 
 "Quick, Mis. Vernon, come and sit on his 
 head." 
 
 Ethel told me that she did not like the 
 idea at all, but it was a case that called for
 
 A HORSEHEAD PERCH 355 
 
 but one decision. The horse had been loaned 
 to her and if she could save its life by sit 
 ting on its head she meant to do it, although 
 she did hope that Minerva would relieve her 
 from time to time. 
 
 "I thought we d divide it up into watches," 
 she told me, "and I did hope that some wood 
 team would come along soon." 
 
 The horse struggled to rise, but as the hill 
 was steep he found it hard to do and in a 
 minute my wife had seated herself as ele 
 gantly as she could on his head, and probably 
 smoothed her skirts over her shoe tops after 
 the manner of womankind. 
 
 Minerva, her spirits ebullient as soon as 
 she saw that no damage had been done, went 
 off into a roar of laughter at the quaint spec 
 tacle of Ethel using a horse as a sort of 
 couch. 
 
 "I wonder if it hurts him?" said Ethel. 
 
 " Deed no. You ain t heavy enough." 
 
 "Well, if I get tired I ll want you to come." 
 
 "Lawdy, I d smash him. He won t need 
 me." 
 
 "Is anyone coming?" 
 
 "No m."
 
 356 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Well, isn t this too vexing? There are 
 those two men coming." 
 
 " Where?" said Minerva, looking up and 
 down the road. 
 
 No, I mean on the train. Of course they 
 can hire a team, but it is awfully vexing to 
 have this happen. 
 
 "Yas m. Shall I get you a napple?" 
 
 Without waiting for an answer Minerva 
 climbed a rail fence not without difficulty 
 and picked up several red astrachans that 
 lay just beyond it. Then she essayed to re 
 turn, but this time she got caught when half 
 way over and could not extricate herself. 
 
 Mis. Vernon, I m stuck. Somep n caught 
 my dress. Come an help me." 
 
 "Oh! Dear! I can t help you. I can t 
 leave this horse for a minute. There s no 
 telling what might happen. Isn t this aw 
 ful?" 
 
 1 Deed it is. Never did think much of that 
 ould scut. What is an ould scut, Mis. Ver 
 non?" 
 
 "Oh, it s just a pet name. Irish people 
 are very affectionate. 
 
 "Never get my affections," said Minerva,
 
 A HORSEHEAD PEECH 357 
 
 race prejudice cropping out even in her pre 
 dicament. 
 
 All the while she was trying to free her 
 self, and at last she tore herself loose, sac 
 rificing a part of her skirt, and rolled over 
 the fence, the apples scattering in front of 
 her as if in a panic. 
 
 But once over she gathered them up and 
 handed one to Ethel, who leaned back along 
 the forehead of her animal sofa and gave 
 herself up to the delights of eating. 
 
 Would the ould scut like one too?" asked 
 Minerva. 
 
 "Oh, surely," said Ethel, and so Minerva 
 picked out a large apple and held it to the 
 velvet nose of the poor old horse. He smelt 
 it eagerly and opening his jaws took it in. 
 
 Minerva sat down in the grass of the road 
 side and fell to, herself, and for a minute, 
 Ethel said, the three jaws crunched apple 
 pulp noisily. 
 
 "Mis. Vernon?" 
 
 "What is it, Minerva?" 
 
 "How come a horse can eat when he s 
 standin up. Lyin the way he is now it s 
 easy because the apple kin go along level, but
 
 358 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 when he s standin up how can it go way up 
 in his head." 
 
 "Why, he swallows it." 
 
 "Yes, but how can he swallow up? We 
 swallow down. If I was to stand awn my 
 head I couldn t swallow." 
 
 She was silent a minute and then she said, 
 " Go n to try." 
 
 And try she did. 
 
 There in the lonely road, with Ethel re 
 clining so luxuriously on a horse-hair sofa, 
 Minerva played circus and made a croquet 
 wicket of herself and then tried to eat an 
 apple. 
 
 Ethel was so interested in the experiment 
 that she was surprised when she heard a 
 masculine voice say, "Well, I swan!" 
 
 She turned, and there below her in the road 
 stood the figure of the Perkins hired man. 
 
 "Oh, I m so glad you ve come," said Ethel 
 from her perch. "What s the proper thing 
 to do to this horse?" 
 
 "Well, I d git off his head first off." 
 
 Ethel left her seat, the hired man took hold 
 of the bridle, the horse made one or two tries 
 and then rose to his feet and Ethel said he
 
 A HORSEHEAD PEECH 359 
 
 shook himself so violently that she thought 
 the harness would break. 
 
 But it stayed together in all its knotted 
 parts and Minerva, somewhat shamefaced at 
 having been caught trying to swallow like a 
 horse, climbed up into the wagon and my 
 wife drove on down town, where she arrived 
 just as Jack and Billy were about concluding 
 a dicker with a hackman. 
 
 When they saw th ould scut they concluded 
 the dicker Ethel having introduced herself, 
 and then they insisted that she ride up with 
 them, while Minerva followed after with the 
 grips. 
 
 Sibthorp and I and no fish arrived home 
 simultaneously with my guests. 
 
 The meeting of Billy and Cherry was most 
 affecting. They acted like school children 
 over each other. It struck me at the time 
 how much more a woman will palaver over 
 a man if she does not care for him in any 
 other than a Platonic way than she will when 
 her affections are engaged. 
 
 It is also queer how some men express 
 themselves more fully in their letters than 
 they do in their actions.
 
 360 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Billy was much quieter than Tom, and Jack 
 was almost reserved. 
 
 But the same air that has a lazing effect 
 on writers braces up artists to do good work. 
 Tom had painted two landscapes since his ar 
 rival and Billy and Jack went out after sup 
 per and each took a shy at the same sunset. 
 
 It was curious to see how different were 
 the colors each used. 
 
 And the sun had used another palette al 
 together. And yet all three sunsets were 
 beautiful and I dare say that one was as true 
 as the other, all of them being illusions.
 
 CHAPTER XXXI. 
 
 THE HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY. 
 
 IT may not possess any interest to the 
 reader, but I feel that we have been to 
 gether so long (if he has not skipped) 
 that he ivill be interested to know that early 
 in September an editor in New York wrote 
 me, saying that he would take a long story 
 of mine at such a figure that well, our 
 summer outing was more than paid for and 
 on receipt of the check I stopped keeping a 
 hotel and insisted on my "guests" becoming 
 guests a distinction with a wide difference. 
 Golden rod was yellowing the lanes and 
 fields and roads, and here and there purple 
 asters were foretelling the approach of win 
 ter. The nights were getting chilly and pro 
 viding an excellent excuse for pine knot wood 
 fires, around which we all gathered and told 
 stories or listened to Cherry s piano music 
 
 361
 
 or to heated but amicable art discussions on 
 the part of the three brushmen. 
 
 Two goal points beckoned us to the future ; 
 one of them the centennial anniversary of 
 good old Mrs. Hartlett, the other the cattle 
 show at Oakham. 
 
 The former would fall on September 16th ; 
 the latter on October 3rd, and the day after 
 the cattle show our happy household would 
 break up. We expected to go down with the 
 rest and open up our flat and we regretted 
 the necessity of doing so, as the time ap 
 proached. 
 
 We had grown to love the country in all its 
 moods and I felt sure that in winter also we 
 would find it full of the stimulus of life, but 
 even with James for a companion, we knew 
 that Minerva would not outstay the first 
 snow storm, and since his situation with the 
 liveryman now only awaited my announce 
 ment and his acceptance of it, we were going 
 to count the winter in New York as simply 
 so many days of anticipation of the next sum 
 mer s joys with perhaps the same crowd of 
 congenial people, and it might be two of them 
 keeping house in a new bungalow.
 
 HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY 363 
 
 After all, Hepburn was better fitted than 
 Sibthorp to make a husband for Cherry. 
 She was a girl with luxurious tastes and the 
 very fact that she could live our simple life 
 and be happy argued that she would make an 
 ideal helpmate for the man who had been 
 born with a diamond encrusted spoon in his 
 mouth. 
 
 Mrs. Warden thought that Billy also was 
 smitten, but if so Cherry did not know it. 
 
 The centenary of Mrs. Hartlett fell on a 
 perfect day. The morning broke, cool and 
 cloudless and a brisk west wind policed the 
 air all day and kept it free from disorderly 
 elements. 
 
 At three o clock we all went over to her 
 house on foot. Sibthorp and the artists had 
 ransacked a greenhouse at Egerton and were 
 loaded down with roses : Hepburn had been 
 fortunate enough to buy a century plant in 
 bloom and the rest of us bore other offer 
 ings. 
 
 On the little lawn in front of her house sat 
 Mrs. Hartlett on a stiff-backed chair that had 
 belonged to her grandfather. She was alert 
 and smiling and actually rosy. Her hun-
 
 364 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 dred year old eyes sparkled with animation 
 and she was just as proud of having achieved 
 a century as any wheelman ever was. 
 
 There were at the lowest estimate two hun 
 dred people gathered on the lawn about 
 the old lady, and I ll venture to say that not 
 five of them were there out of idle curiosity. 
 There were Minerva and James and the 
 president of the Egerton National Bank, and 
 the pastors of three churches of different 
 protestant denominations and a compara 
 tively newly arrived Hungarian family, to 
 whom Mrs. Hartlett had been "neighbourly," 
 and Father Hogan and the Guernseas and 
 the man whose pipe I had returned. (He 
 had brought Mrs. Hartlett a peach pit bas 
 ket, which he had whittled himself and which 
 gave her great joy, as she said it was exactly 
 like one that her brother had given her in 
 1812). 
 
 But to go back to the guests. Such a 
 heterogeneous collection of people one does 
 not often see, and yet they all had one com 
 mon object; to render homage to a woman 
 who, for a century, had breathed a spirit of 
 kindliness and tolerance that was American
 
 HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY 365 
 
 in the best sense. Yankee farmer, Hungar 
 ian immigrant, Pat Casey who was there, 
 alert and smiling all were the better for 
 Mrs. Hartlett s having lived so long a life, 
 and each one felt it in his own way. 
 
 And almost every one present had brought 
 a gift. In some instances they were trifling 
 affairs like the peach pit basket but the 
 kindly spirit of giving was there, and I doubt 
 not that Mrs. Hartlett valued the little carv 
 ing for the sake of the associations it brought 
 up full as well as she did the handsome an 
 tique chair that the Guernseas gave her. 
 
 One of the last arrivals was a man who 
 had walked many miles to visit her on her 
 birthday. He drew after him a toy express 
 wagon. 
 
 He was patriarchal in appearance, with 
 a long white beard and eyes more shrewd 
 than kindly, and yet it was a kindly spirit 
 that had drawn him ten miles out of his ac 
 customed itinerary that he might pay his re 
 spects to the woman who had never bought 
 a single one of his wares, but who had always 
 given him a pleasant salutation and had more 
 than once invited him to come in and par-
 
 366 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 take of berries and milk, or, if it was winter 
 time, to have a cup of coffee and fortify him 
 self against the elements. 
 
 It was Isidor Pohalski, an old man about 
 thirty years Mrs. Hartlett s junior, a ped 
 dler by occupation, who in summer drew his 
 wares around the country on a little express 
 wagon and in winter drew them on a boy s 
 sled. (So they told me.) 
 
 He had brought a present too, a bertha of 
 Belgian lace, and when I saw him and Father 
 Hogan and Rev. Mr. Hughson and the bank 
 president and the artists so near together it 
 gave me a kind of lion and lamb feeling that 
 smacked of the millennium. 
 
 "Do you mean it for me?" asked Mrs. 
 Hartlett, recognising the beautiful lace. 
 
 Isidor nodded, saying nothing. His Eng 
 lish was for but one at a time. In a crowd 
 he was reduced to signs. 
 
 "Much thanks. Much thanks," said Mrs. 
 Hartlett, quaintly, being one of those who 
 talk to a foreigner with special idioms. She 
 held out her hand and shook his and said, 
 
 "You stay for lemonade? Yes?" 
 
 The Hebrew nodded and smiled and stayed.
 
 HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSAEY 367 
 
 There was one surprise connected with 
 the very informal exercises of the afternoon 
 and that was the gift by Mrs. Hughson on 
 behalf of the people generally of a rouleau 
 made up of one hundred gold dollars. 
 
 "May your pathway to heaven be paved 
 wid em," said the irrepressible Pat, step 
 ping up and shaking hands with her. 
 
 Thank you, sir, said she, and Pat walked 
 off with his head in the air and brimming 
 over with good feeling and suppressed 
 oaths. 
 
 "Won t you sing your song, Mrs. Hart- 
 lettf " asked Cherry. 
 
 "I m afraid I m not in very good voice 
 today," said the old lady with an exagger 
 ated simper and then she hastened to say, 
 "That s what people used to say when I was 
 a girl. There was much more singing then 
 than there is now, but it was always con 
 sidered right to apologise for one s voice." 
 
 She cleared her throat and then she turned 
 to the doctor, who sat near her, and said, ( I 
 wanted to dance, to-day, but Dr. Ludlow says 
 that at my age the less I dance the better for 
 my health and I dare say he is right."
 
 368 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 She looked at the doctor, her eyes twink 
 ling, and then she sang a strange old song 
 that I had never heard before. It was sung 
 to a quaint air that might have been by Pur- 
 cell and that told of what befell the daugh 
 ters of a king who lived up in the "North 
 countree:" 
 
 1 i The king lived up in the North Countree 
 
 " Bow down downaday 
 The king lived up in the North Countree 
 
 * The bough that bends to me 
 The king lived up in the North Countree 
 " And he had daughters, one, two 
 
 three 
 " I 11 prove true to my love, 
 
 11 If my love proves true to me. " 
 
 It was a melodramatic song and told of the 
 death by drowning of the youngest of the 
 three daughters, and the phraseology was so 
 queer that it might easily have become comic ; 
 but the old lady sang it with such simplicity ; 
 her voice, in spite of its quavers, was so true 
 and still bore such evidence of the silvery 
 quality that it had once contained, that my 
 three artist friends afterwards acknowledged
 
 that the song gave them a choky feeling in 
 the throat. 
 
 Sibthorp told them that one did not need 
 to be an artist to have choky feelings. 
 
 At the song s conclusion Pat Casey turned 
 to the Eev. Mr. Hughson, by whose side he 
 was standing, and said, 
 
 " She s a dam good woman glory be to 
 God." 
 
 Cherry had made some sort of lace ar 
 rangement for the hair, three cornered and 
 arabesque, and when Mrs. Hartlett had fin 
 ished singing she crowned her with it. 
 
 It wasn t particularly becoming, but when 
 I said so Ethel said I was horrid. 
 
 Just after the singing I saw Minerva 
 whisper something to James, and the two 
 went off. At the time I supposed that she 
 had gotten tired of standing around among 
 white folks, with nothing to do, and in a 
 measure I had guessed right, but I was not 
 prepared for what followed. 
 
 The windows of Mrs. Hartlett s parlour 
 were open ; it had been her intention to hold 
 her reception in the house until she saw that
 
 370 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 it would be impossible with such an out-pour 
 ing of neighbours and friends. 
 
 Suddenly from out the open windows came 
 the sound of melodious voices negro voices 
 singing one of the most plaintive of the 
 darkey melodies: "Steal Away to Jesus." 
 
 Our proposed concert at Egerton had fal 
 len through, owing to various reasons. We 
 had made it all right with Deacon Fotherby 
 by sending him the goodly amount of a col 
 lection taken up one evening among the 
 Clover Lodgers. 
 
 But when I heard the music and recog 
 nized that there were four voices concerned 
 in it I realized that the concert had merely 
 been changed in point of time and place and 
 that we were now listening to it, and that it 
 was one of Minerva s sudden inspirations. 
 She had come to Mrs. Hartlett s with no gift 
 and the generous-hearted girl had proposed 
 that she and James and the others give the 
 only thing in their power to give. 
 
 The effect was strangely beautiful. The 
 voices were softened just a little ; they were 
 in perfect accord and the four sang with the
 
 HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY 371 
 
 sincerity of feeling that negroes always throw 
 into their songs, whether grave or gay. 
 
 "It s Minerva s present to you, dear," 
 said Cherry, leaning over and patting Mrs. 
 Hartlett s hand. 
 
 "Niggers can sing, annyway," was Pat s 
 Irish comment. 
 
 I think everyone present felt that he or 
 she had some part in the concert. It was 
 what they all would have done if they had 
 been able, and as we listened to song after 
 song, some "spirituals," some full of laugh 
 ter, and saw the rapt expression on the face 
 of Mrs. Hartlett, we felt that the "century" 
 was being crowned felicitously through the 
 happy idea of an ignorant girl, whose heart 
 was in the right place. 
 
 The thing that made Minerva a joy for 
 ever was that her heart was in the right 
 place. 
 
 Perhaps that is why James had found it 
 
 so easily. 
 
 ******** 
 
 When we went home at sunset from the 
 old lady s house Cherry walked by her old- 
 time playmate, Billy, and it struck me that
 
 he might be thinking of becoming a rival to 
 Sibthorp and Hepburn. 
 
 " It s cruel in Cherry to let that young man 
 walk with her," said I to Ethel. 
 
 "Oh, I don t believe that he has ever 
 thought of Cherry except as an old friend," 
 said she. 
 
 "Well, if Cherry lets him walk with her 
 much he will begin to think Cherry is catch 
 ing." 
 
 "But she s already caught," said Ethel. 
 
 And we could hear Hepburn at that very 
 moment singing a little thing that Cherry 
 was very fond of playing.
 
 CHAPTEE XXXIL 
 
 WE GO TO THE FAIR. 
 
 "I FOW are we going over to the fair at 
 A JL Oakham ? asked Cherry, the 
 evening before that event. 
 
 "I ve provided for it," said I. 
 
 "Not th ould scut?" said Ethel. 
 
 "Hardly. Let s see, there are ten of us." 
 
 "Twelve," said Ethel, "or thirteen." 
 
 "No, ten." 
 
 "Twelve. Minerva and James are going; 
 and we re to have lunch over there." 
 
 "Five buggies, two in each," said Sib- 
 thorp as unconsciously as he could. 
 
 "Fine," said Hepburn and Billy in the 
 same breath, and Cherry blushed rose red. 
 
 "Couldn t get buggies, but I think you ll 
 all be pleased at the conveyance," said I. 
 "It ll be quite a ride. Three hours there 
 and three hours back." 
 
 373
 
 374 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 "Goodness," said Cherry; "I thought it 
 was only about seven miles away." 
 
 "It might be 200 miles away if we took a 
 special," said Sibthorp suggestively. 
 
 "And only a few rods if we took snails," 
 said Tom and laughed uproariously. 
 
 "It s something between snails and spe 
 cials," said I, but further than that I was 
 sphynxlike. 
 
 Next morning was a crisp, smoke scented 
 October morning, the air full of the snap of 
 early fall, the landscape hinting at coming 
 crimsons and yellows, the sky a clear blue, 
 guiltless of clouds. 
 
 We rose early and while we were at break 
 fast we heard the lowing of cattle. 
 
 "Whose cow s loose this morning?" asked 
 Tom. 
 
 "That s the voice of our steeds, if I m not 
 mistaken. Get your wraps and traps and 
 come. 
 
 Scowls of surprise were bent on me by all. 
 
 "Behold the chariot of Apollo and the 
 horses thereof," said I, and led the way to the 
 front door, whither I was followed by all. 
 
 In front of the house stood a comfortable
 
 WE GO TO THE FAIR 375 
 
 looking hay wagon carpeted with straw and 
 hitched to it were twelve oxen. 
 
 They were of all sorts and sizes, from a 
 pair of huge white blanketed ones to two little 
 black Holstein leaders; they were mottled, 
 brown, mahogany and fawn color and the 
 black Holsteins had gold leafed horns in 
 honor of the occasion. At the side of this 
 " string" stood Sam Goodman and his son. 
 
 "Are we going in that?" 
 
 "That we are going in," said I proudly. 
 "If we have luck we ll get there inside of 
 three hours. How far is it, Mr. Goodman?" 
 
 "Between six an seven miles. "What 
 d yer think of the string! Prize winners?" 
 
 "They ought to be." 
 
 "What does v he do with so many cows?" 
 said Cherry. 
 
 "Where ivhere did you come from, baby 
 dear?" said Tom. "Those are called oxen 
 in this part of the country. Not all yours 
 are they?" turning to Sam. 
 
 "No, sir. Mine are the white blankets. 
 But all Egerton cattle and we ve taken fust 
 prize for four years hand runnin ! Whoapp,
 
 376 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Jerry! Whenever you re ready I m ready, 
 Mr. Vernon." 
 
 Which was local for "Please hurry up," 
 so I told our party to get aboard as soon as 
 possible and we would start for the cattle 
 show. 
 
 There is no better way of enjoying scenery 
 than to go out riding behind a team of cat 
 tle. One has all the slowness obtainable by 
 walking and yet one is riding, and can give 
 his full attention to the beauties of either 
 side of the road. To those who are not in 
 too great a hurry I commend this form of 
 locomotion ! 
 
 At last we were ready, and after we were 
 all seated James helped the giggling Minerva 
 to a seat in the back. She and James were 
 the only ones who had real seats. The rest 
 of us sat in the straw. 
 
 "G long!" shouted Mr. Goodman, and the 
 oxen started. 
 
 "Isn t this fun?" said Cherry, wriggling 
 her shoulders with delight. 
 
 "Fine, and after three hours of it walking 
 will be even more fun, said Tom. 
 
 "Oh, I ve forgotten the lunch," said Ethel.
 
 WE GO TO THE FAIR 377 
 
 "Now, look here," said Tom, "we mustn t 
 stop this procession. Give me the key, Phil 
 ip, and I ll go back after the lunch and " 
 
 "Whoa," shouted Mr. Goodman. 
 
 " Don t stop, cried Tom. " I Ve only got 
 to go back to the house. I ll catch up. Keep 
 em going." 
 
 "Whoohaw, gee a little," shouted Good 
 man, snapping his long whip and the oxen 
 kept up their sleepy pace, while Tom ran 
 back to the house to get the lunch. 
 
 "Isn t this lovely?" said Cherry. 
 "Whenever we get tired of riding we can 
 walk on ahead and wait for the team to catch 
 up. Why haven t we ever done this be 
 fore?" 
 
 "Because it would be something of a task 
 to get six pair of cattle on any day except 
 fair day," I explained. "And, by the way, 
 this costs us nothing. Goodman is honoured 
 at having us come. Said so in other words. 
 Was insulted when I spoke of payment." 
 
 "I m learning something new about the 
 country people all the time," said Cherry. 
 
 "Goodman sells cheeses. He doesn t rent 
 cattle. If we had wanted a cheese it would
 
 378 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 have cost us market prices, but a ride after 
 the Egerton string honours him and Eger- 
 ton. That s the Yankee of it. 
 
 " Isn t it glorious? Where is Mr. War 
 den ? He 11 surely get left. 
 
 Just then an automobile going to the fair 
 came up behind us and passed us tooting the 
 loudest horn I ever heard. 
 
 The cattle were not broken to automobiles 
 and the leaders started to run, their example 
 was followed all along the line, and in a min 
 ute (and to the secret gratification of Good 
 man, who had not liked Tom s cavalier way 
 of going back as if we were stationary) the 
 six pair of cattle were running away. 
 
 The wagon bumped and pitched and we 
 were pitched and bumped amid shrieks from 
 Minerva and laughter from the rest. 
 
 "Whoo! Whoo, I say! Gee haw! 
 Whoo! WHOA! WHOA-UP!" 
 
 We had reached the brow of a little hill, at 
 the base of which a pretty brook meanders 
 across the road, and the frightened animals 
 plunged down the hill regardless of their 
 reputation for slowness. 
 
 As we left the brow of the hill we saw at
 
 WE GO TO THE FAIR 379 
 
 the house Tom waving the lunch basket and 
 calling to us to stop. He thought it was a 
 trick, but we* knew it wasn t. 
 
 We beckoned him to come and then we 
 gripped the sides of the wagon and wondered 
 just how it would end. 
 
 At the side of the bridge the road led into 
 a by path to the water and the wise Good 
 man, fearing that we would not keep the 
 bridge at the rate we were going gee-ed them 
 into the by path. 
 
 Whether the water had a cooling effect on 
 them or what was the reason, I cannot say, 
 but just as the wagon was in mid stream the 
 forward oxen stopped, their example was 
 passed down the line as it is on a freight 
 train, and the series of jolts was finally com 
 municated to the wagon and James and Mi 
 nerva turned back summersaults into the 
 water. 
 
 We all choked with laughter when they 
 emerged, dripping. 
 
 "Don t like cow ridin ," said Minerva, 
 shaking mud and water from her hat. 
 
 They were not hurt and by the advice of 
 Ethel, Minerva went back to the house to get
 
 380 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 dry clothing. James waited to show her a 
 short cut across the fields, so that we need 
 not wait, and Tom came up with the lunch 
 basket just as the cavalcade started again. 
 
 " Sorry I didn t bring a wheel along," said 
 Tom. "If we find we ve forgotten anything 
 else it ll be hard catching up. There s quite 
 some go in those beasts." 
 
 "Them pesky devil wagons," said Good 
 man. "I wish there was a law agin them." 
 
 It is not my intention to tell of all the 
 things that happened on the way. The oxen 
 got accustomed to automobiles long before 
 we reached Oakham and our progress be 
 came slower and slower as we had to take to 
 the side of the road to let pass us the con 
 stantly thickening stream of vehicles of all 
 kinds from every part of the county bound 
 for the fair. Arrived at the grounds, wher 
 ever pretty Cherry went the boys were sure 
 to go, while we elders went off by ourselves. 
 
 Ethel and I had hardly had a minute to 
 gether since our guests had begun coming, 
 but Ethel seemed to have thrived on the extra 
 work and the added excitement. Of course 
 it was the unlimited fresh air that had made
 
 WE GO TO THE FAIR 381 
 
 it possible. We looked back on a very happy 
 summer and were glad that everything had 
 happened as it had. 
 
 "I wonder if Cherry has made up her 
 mind yet," said Ethel, while we were watch 
 ing the efforts of a man to hit a darkey s 
 head with a base ball. 
 
 "She ll have to make it up quickly unless 
 she wants Hepburn and Sibthorp to possess 
 their souls in patience during the fall." 
 
 "And whichever of the two she takes there 
 will be two disappointed men." 
 
 "What, Billy?" 
 
 --"Yes, I think, after all, he is hard hit." 
 
 "And she treats him with amusing indif 
 ference. There they all go to have their tin 
 types takes. What children they are!" 
 
 It may have been a half hour later that 
 Ethel and I were watching the energetic 
 seller of whips. 
 
 Starting with one whip, which he offered 
 for a dollar, and getting no takers at that 
 price (for most of them had seen his opera 
 tions before) he would offer two and then 
 three and then four and at last half a dozen 
 whips for the same dollar.
 
 382 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 "An I ll throw in this raw-hide just to 
 make the game excitin . Here, by George, 
 I m ashamed of myself to be such a poor 
 business man as to give away fifteen dollars 
 worth of whips for the price of one decent 
 one, but I m bound to make a sale if I give 
 you my whole stock for a dollar. He-ere 
 we have a bobby dasher of a whip to tickle 
 the flies to death in the pantry. I ll chuck 
 that in just for devilment and I hope you 
 won t tell none of your folks what a fool I 
 be. That s eight whips for one ordinary 
 every day dollar. Why it s a crime to take 
 advantage of me in this way and git so much 
 for so little. 
 
 "Thank you, sir, for relievin me of an 
 embarrassin situation." 
 
 This to a long-bearded man who handed up 
 a dollar and got the eight whips, one of which 
 would have cost a dollar in any harness store. 
 But that is not the same as saying that it 
 would have been worth a dollar. 
 
 "Now, here we are again. Here s a whip 
 for one dollar." 
 
 Naturally the zest of the transaction had 
 departed with the long bearded farmer and
 
 WE GO TO THE FAIR 383 
 
 most of the crowd went away. But new 
 ones came up and minute by minute the whip 
 man added whip after whip and soon the 
 crowd was as dense as before and he stren 
 uously showed the swishing qualities of each 
 whip, fanning the air with vigor and filling 
 that part of the fair grounds with his syren 
 voice and his picturesque language. 
 
 "Oh, you re here, are you," said a voice 
 at my side, and turning I saw Sibthorp. 
 
 " Hello, where s Cherry?" said I. 
 
 "I wanted to speak to you. Let s get 
 away from that clatter." 
 
 I believe that Ethel must have divined 
 what he wanted to say, for she said, 
 
 "Take me over to the wagon. I want to 
 see about getting lunch ready." 
 
 We took her over to the wagon and on our 
 way there corralled James and Minerva. 
 Ethel had brought an oil stove for the mak 
 ing of coffee and the three began operations 
 at once, while Sibthorp and I walked off to 
 that part of the fair where the cattle tests 
 were to be made later in the day. 
 
 I could see that whatever it was that Sib 
 thorp wanted to say he was not going to find
 
 384 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 it easy to say it, for he made five or six 
 false and utterly inconsequent starts and 
 seemed ill at ease. 
 
 "Say, Ellery, you didn t get me off here 
 to tell me that you never saw such long horns 
 on an ox. What do you care about oxen?" 
 
 "No, that s so er say, Phil, the fact is, 
 I believe that I am that I think a good 
 deal" 
 
 "That you are in love with Cherry?" 
 
 "Why, how did you know it?" said Ellery, 
 with a sigh of relief. 
 
 "Oh, when you ve been through the mill 
 yourself you re always able to tell the symp 
 toms. Now what can I do for you? Do you 
 want me to propose?" 
 
 "No, no-o, but I want to know whether 
 you think I d stand any sort of show." 
 
 "Why, my dear boy," said I. "Aren t 
 you as good as anybody else on earth ? Have 
 you totally misconceived Emerson s mes 
 sage? Go in and win. Cherry s a good girl 
 as good as anybody in the world. You re 
 a good chap good as anybody on earth. 
 Tell her your life story, and then come to me 
 for my congratulations."
 
 385 
 
 "Well, but do you think I stand any 
 show!" 
 
 4 You re the best judge of that, old man. 
 She s been very kind to you. I d feel en 
 couraged if I were you. But do it to-day, 
 and do it soon. There are several Bich- 
 monds in the field." 
 
 "That s what I was afraid of. Jack and 
 the rest." 
 
 "Jack, nothing. The only man you have 
 need to fear is that genial millionaire, Hep 
 burn. 
 
 "Oh, I m not afraid of him. Cherry 
 doesn t believe in marrying for money." 
 
 * * How do you know ? 
 
 "Oh, we talked it over academically, you 
 know. 
 
 "Well, sometimes a woman forgets to be 
 academic when it comes to the test. I think 
 you d better engage her in talk, old man, and 
 do it to-day. Eemember we all go down to 
 morrow." 
 
 "Thanks, awfully, old man. You ve 
 heartened me up considerably." 
 
 We had walked as we talked over to the 
 wheel of fortune, and just as we arrived
 
 386 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 there a young man was so remarkably lucky 
 as to win a hundred dollars. He was a very 
 lucky young man, because earlier in the day 
 I had passed by there with Ethel and had 
 stopped a minute and he had then won fifty 
 dollars. I like to see such happiness as was 
 his. I have never seen it anywhere else, but 
 on the stage. He put the money in his pocket 
 and started away from the wheel and the gen 
 tleman who was running the wheel asked him 
 in honey tones if he wouldn t stay and try 
 his luck again. 
 
 "No, sir," said the upright young man. 
 I never did anything of this kind before to 
 day, and I m going to stop now." 
 
 "I wish I had your strength of character," 
 said the owner of the wheel, who seemed to 
 be a very straightforward sort of person, 
 even if he was limited in his phraseology. I 
 recalled that he had said exactly the same 
 words to the same young man when he had 
 won the fifty dollars in the morning, and had 
 signified his intention of stopping for good. 
 
 " Hello, there s Cherry, now," said Sib- 
 thorp, and looking up I saw her going by in 
 company with Tom and his wife. Sibthorp
 
 WE GO TO THE FAIR 387 
 
 joined the trio and he and Cherry fell behind 
 and a minute later I saw them stop at the 
 gate of the merry-go-round. For, of course, 
 a modern country fair would not be the real 
 thing if it did not have one of the gaudily 
 grotesque nerve rackers. 
 
 Wishing the boy luck, I wandered off alone 
 and soon fell in with Hepburn. 
 
 "Hello, Mr. Vernon," said he. "Have 
 you seen anything of Miss Paxton?" 
 
 "Yes, she and Sib thorp went off together 
 not a minute ago." 
 
 "Oh, that s all right then. I was afraid 
 she had gone off with Billy. 
 
 The young men had one evening drunk 
 "Bruderschaft" and all called each other 
 by their first names. 
 
 "Why are you afraid of Billy?" said I. 
 
 Hepburn colored, an unusual thing for him 
 to do, as he generally had easy command of 
 himself. He looked me straight in the eye 
 and then he said, 
 
 "I m hard hit, governor." 
 
 "Does you credit," said I. 
 
 "Yeah," said he, pulling at his under lip. 
 "But you know it s deuced hard for a fellow
 
 388 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 like me to say anything. All that cursed 
 money of mine, you know. I ve never been 
 taken for what I am myself until I came up 
 here, and when it comes to telling Miss Pax- 
 ton how things stand with me, don t you 
 know why, I wouldn t blame her if she re 
 fused me, even if she loved me, because a 
 girl like that doesn t like to be thought 
 doesn t like to be thought to be influenced 
 by the money a fellow has. 
 
 "Well, she wouldn t be." 
 
 "No, that isn t the point. She wouldn t 
 be, but she might be afraid that the world 
 would think she was." 
 
 We were walking back and forth along the 
 "Midway," and we had now come to the 
 wheel of fortune and subconsciously I felt 
 impelled to stop and look in at the operations 
 which had just started up with the placing of 
 a dollar by a raw-boned fellow fresh from 
 the plough. 
 
 "You mean to say," said I, "that if you 
 were in the position of Sibthorp, for instance, 
 that you would feel you had a good chance 
 of winning her?" 
 
 "I don t think Sibthorp has any chance
 
 WE GO TO THE FAIR 389 
 
 with her. I mean that if I was ordinarily 
 well off I would go in and ask her, and I 
 think she d have me. I d tell you what I 
 wouldn t say to any one else up here, for I 
 think you understand those things. I m not 
 conceited but well, a fellow knows." 
 
 "Lost it, young man," said the man at the 
 wheel, "but next time you rnay have better 
 luck. You want to try?" 
 
 "Why, I believe I will." 
 
 Interested as I was in Hepburn s revela 
 tions of soul, I looked up and saw the young 
 man who had been so lucky twice before. 
 He had plainly forgotten that he had ever 
 seen the wheel so treacherous are some 
 memories and pulling out of his pocket a 
 dollar bill and a cent all he had, evidently 
 he placed the dollar on "25," which with 
 great ingenuousness he said was his age, 
 and the wheel spun round. 
 
 "I m afraid you re going to lose it, young 
 man," said the gamester. "It s a hundred 
 dollars if it stops at your figure. She conies 
 nearer, she passes, she comes round again 
 she goes slower she pas no, she touches 
 it. I congratulate you, young man. I lose,
 
 390 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 but you gain and I like to see a man win 
 when he s young and out for fun." 
 
 "By George," said the young man, ecstat 
 ically happy. "I never played one of the 
 blamed things before. A hundred dollars?" 
 
 "Yes, a hundred dollars. Suppose you 
 try it again." 
 
 A dense crowd was now around the wheel 
 and all eyes were fixed on the poor young 
 man, who had so suddenly won a pocket of 
 money and that for the third time that day 
 although I was the only one who remem 
 bered that fact. 
 
 His hand sought his pocket and then he 
 remembered that a dollar and a cent had 
 been all he had had there and he shook 
 his head and said, 
 
 "No, sir. I ve struck ile and I m go n to 
 quit." 
 
 "By George, I like your strength of char 
 acter. Who else will take the young man s 
 chance? Only a dollar a try." 
 
 The dollars rained down. The wheel went 
 round and a score of anxious eyes blazed at 
 the board. But every man lost his dollar 
 and the young man who had been so strangely
 
 WE GO TO THE FAIR 391 
 
 lucky and so curiously forgetful of his former 
 luck, walked away, followed by Hepburn, 
 who had been in a brown study, and me. 
 
 There s only one man seems to win in 
 those games of chance," said I. 
 
 "Some men are born lucky," said Hep 
 burn, and straightened unconsciously as he 
 said it.
 
 CHAPTER XXXIII. 
 
 CHERRY DISPOSES. 
 
 WE had had a merry lunch, we had 
 watched the tests of the draught cat 
 tle, we had all drunk pink lemonade 
 and survived, and now, by unanimous vote, 
 we had decided to stay and have our dinner 
 in the "Mammoth Restaurant," and go home 
 by the light of the golden hunter s moon. 
 
 The wheel of fortune had been dismantled 
 and the man who ran it and the man who had 
 been so lucky had gone off together. They 
 seemed to have struck up a friendship, and I 
 am told that it not unfrequently happens 
 that lucky men and professional gamblers 
 make the rounds of the various county fairs 
 and the luck of both continues until the end 
 of the season. 
 
 Sibthorp was not the life of the party at 
 lunch, but Hepburn was in high spirits. 
 
 I judged that Sibthorp had been tried and 
 
 392
 
 CHERRY DISPOSES 393 
 
 found wanting and that Hepburn had been 
 accounted worthy. Jack and Billy were 
 their usual irresponsible selves and Tom 
 bubbled over with a merriment that was at 
 times elephantine but always genuine. 
 
 After lunch Sibthorp came to me and we 
 strolled away naturally and easily. I put on 
 my best father confessor air and waited for 
 him to unbosom himself. 
 
 It s all over," said he. 
 
 What ? You Ve asked her ? " 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 He looked so dejected that I grasped his 
 hand. 
 
 "Maybe a cattle show was a poor place," 
 said I. 
 
 "I chose a poorer," said he, "I asked her 
 in the merry-go-round." 
 
 "Wha-at?" 
 
 "Yes. I didn t want to be romantic. It 
 has often struck me that many a girl says yes 
 because it is moonlight, or the lane is shady, 
 or the breeze is balmy. You see I look at it 
 from the point of view of a writer and I 
 thought I d strip it of all glamour after I d 
 made up my mind thanks to you that I
 
 had a chance, and so when she said she d like 
 to ride around on the elephant I was fool 
 enough to sit alongside of her on a blame 
 little donkey and there wasn t anybody with 
 in ear shot as the next thing behind was a 
 wagon and they re not popular. And just 
 before the thing started I well I asked her, 
 and she burst out laughing and then she got 
 mad and then the old thing started and we 
 had to ride till it stopped, and then she asked 
 me to take her away because s,he felt dizzy 
 and I took her away and we ran plump into 
 Hepburn and he asked her to go and see a 
 man selling whips, and I went down the road 
 a mile and wished I d never been born. I 
 think she felt insulted." 
 
 I looked the other way. 
 
 "Why don t you try again?" 
 
 "Thank you. I know when I ve had 
 enough." 
 
 He left me and I went behind a large oak 
 and sat on the grass and laughed until I cried. 
 The idea of a sensible man sitting on a wood 
 en donkey and asking a pretty girl on a 
 wooden elephant if she would care to ride the 
 merry-go-round of life with him.
 
 CHERRY DISPOSES 395 
 
 "I m afraid that Ellery is artificial," said 
 Ethel when I told her. 
 
 "But Hepburn is the real thing," said I. 
 
 It was in the middle of the afternoon that 
 Ethel and I were sitting together in a little 
 pine grove. I had been telling her the events 
 of the morning and now we were resting on 
 the grass and watching the farmer folk. 
 Oakham fair day is the great day for ex 
 changing visits. Two elderly men met. 
 
 "Well, how are you doin it!" 
 
 "Oh, the way I always do. You re lookin 
 abaout the same. Leetle more gray but I 
 guess you re able to do the chores?" 
 
 "Oh, yes, ain t had to call in Maria to do 
 that yet. You seem to be stavin off death." 
 
 "Fooled him so fur. Git me in the end 
 though. That your daughter?" 
 
 "No, that s my grandchild." 
 
 "Well, well. Looks like your daughter 
 Libby." 
 
 "Libby s daughter." 
 
 "By Godfrey, time lias a way of gittin 
 along. Beats these automobiles." 
 
 "Doos so. Well, glad I seen yer. Oak- 
 ham Fair s gre t day to see folks. Most in-
 
 396 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 terestin exhibit. I say folks is the most in- 
 terestin exhibit." 
 
 "Ye-es, yes. Be n comin here thirty- five 
 years. Ever sence the fust fair." 
 
 "Me too. Bet ye a cooky you won t do it 
 no thirty-five years more. Not nless the 
 good Lord fergits to git ye." 
 
 "Ha, ha, ha. Well, good bye, Silas. 
 Member me to the folks. 
 
 "I will so. Like s not you ll find em 
 raound here sum er s. Be good." 
 
 "Same to you y old rascal." 
 
 The two men shook hands and passed on 
 and then we heard the end of a conversation 
 on the other side of the tree a conversation 
 that was being carried on while two walked 
 together. 
 
 "No, Mr. Edson, a woman always feels 
 honoured and I hope we may always be 
 friends. 
 
 Ethel looked at me and her lips parted. It 
 was Cherry s voice. We waited to hear 
 Hepburn speak but he did not do so. 
 
 The steps died away and Ethel rose to her 
 feet and looked down the pathway. 
 
 Cherry was walking toward the edge of the
 
 CHEERY DISPOSES 397 
 
 pine woods and by her side walked a young 
 man in whom the animation of youth seemed 
 to be temporarily arrested. 
 
 He had not spoken a word in our hearing 
 but we knew from the shape of his back that 
 it was Jack. 
 
 Three proposals in one day," said Ethel 
 in awed tones. 
 
 "Well, she s worth it," said I, and was a 
 little astonished that Ethel did not second 
 my assertion. 
 
 "Isn t that Pat Casey walking with a 
 priest?" asked Ethel suddenly. 
 
 "Yes, that s Father Hogan and Eev. Mr. 
 Hughson told me he was one of the greatest 
 influences for good in Egerton. 
 
 "I wonder if he will stop Pat from using 
 profanity." 
 
 "Maybe he won t try to." 
 
 Just then Pat left the priest, touching his 
 cap as he did so, and a moment later he saw 
 us and hurried over with the light little step 
 peculiar to him, lifting his shocking bad hat 
 as he came. 
 
 "Hello, Pat," said I. "So you are con-
 
 398 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 sidered a good enough man to walk with 
 Father Hogan?" 
 
 His eyes twinkled. 
 
 "Sure it s honoured I am by walkin wid 
 him. He s a hell of a fine man. I was just 
 tellin him so. Didn t he walk a mile out of 
 his way yisterday to tell me he seen me ould 
 cow I lost, roamin toward Maltby. First he 
 told them to pen it up, an thin he come an 
 told me. He s dam sure of Heaven, that 
 man is! No airs on him at all an him a 
 friend of Archbishop Ireland." 
 
 "Well, Pat, how s the ould scut. Did you 
 enter her for the race?" 
 
 Sure I did not. She got at the oats last 
 night an was feelin so fine this marnin that 
 I knew t d be a sure t hing if I entered her." 
 
 He winked his eye at Ethel and then he 
 said: 
 
 "An how s the cherry blossom?" 
 
 "Pat, you re a poet. She s still on the 
 branch." 
 
 "Egorry, it s the lucky man that picks her. 
 A fine gerrul. None better in Ireland an 
 that s sayin arl there is to be said. I sup-
 
 CHERRY DISPOSES 399 
 
 pose ye 11 be go n down one of those fine 
 days now. 
 
 "Yes, we expect to go to-morrow." 
 
 "Is it so soon an the glory of the year so 
 nair. Sure it s sorry I ll be to see the lights 
 arl gone when I m passin by in the avenin . 
 
 He took off his hat and extended a very 
 dirty hand to Ethel. 
 
 She took it bravely and he said, 
 
 "If y ave need of th ould scut come an 
 take her an welkim. An come up next yair. 
 Give me regards to the young leddy. I d a 
 darter just like her wance." 
 
 We smiled involuntarily as we contrasted 
 Cherry and Pat. 
 
 " I d a darter just like her, but she got con- 
 sumpted an she s wid the saints. She was a 
 hell of a good gerrul. 
 
 His eyes moistened and I understood for 
 the first time what had made him the good- 
 hearted man he was. 
 
 With a wave of his hand he walked lightly 
 away. 
 
 "And yet some people don t like the 
 Irish," said Ethel. 
 
 We all attended the races but they did not
 
 400 MINERVA S MANCEUVRES 
 
 merit a description. They were almost as 
 tame as a hippodrome race at a circus, and 
 I verily believe that th ould scut would have 
 stood some show of winning had Pat entered 
 him. 
 
 Cherry sat next to Ethel on the grand 
 stand and to me she looked distraught. She 
 had little to say and I, with my usual habit 
 of adding two to two, made up my mind that 
 she had accepted Hepburn and was now sorry 
 that she had done so. I could not account for 
 her lack of animation in any other way. 
 
 I suggested my thoughts to Ethel but she 
 said they were nonsensical ; that Cherry was 
 very sorry to have to leave the place; that 
 she had become attached to Clover Lodge 
 and that she hated the thought of going up to 
 her aunt at Bar Harbor. 
 
 She recovered her spirits in the "Mam 
 moth Restaurant." The long tables were 
 so unlike anything to which she had been 
 accustomed that the very novelty pleased 
 her, and as we were all together at one 
 end we were able to do and say pretty much 
 what we wanted and we were a gay crowd. 
 
 We had met pretty nearly everybody we
 
 CHEERY DISPOSES 401 
 
 had ever seen in the Egertons, and we had 
 bid good-bye to old Mrs. Hartlett just before 
 the races began. 
 
 She having a mind to try a new sensation 
 and one that would have been impossible in 
 her childhood, had come over with her phys 
 ician in his electric run-about and it was 
 something of a shock to see the dainty little 
 old lady accustomed to move slowly and with 
 dignity perched up in one of the fastest 
 things on wheels, but it was just such open- 
 mindedness that had enabled her to remain 
 young for one hundred years and we bade 
 her good bye quite sure that she at least 
 would be in Egerton another summer who 
 ever else might drop by the way. 
 
 Minerva was in her element all day long. 
 A crowd was a crowd after all even if it was 
 composed of country people, and she kept 
 herself and James in the thick of it. 
 
 Once we saw her treating six strange little 
 darkey boys and girls to pink lemonade and 
 once I saw her by a happy fluke throw a left- 
 handed ball at the colored man who was 
 soliciting tries at his hard head and she hit
 
 402 MINERVA S MANCEHVRES 
 
 him fair and square and then hit the crowd 
 by her hearty, carefree laughter. 
 
 There was one little incident connected 
 with Minerva s day at the fair that might 
 have been serious if Minerva s star had not 
 been in the ascendant when she herself was. 
 
 A balloon ascension had been advertised 
 for the afternoon and Ethel had wanted to 
 go over and see it, but I told her that the fill 
 ing of balloons by gas was always a slow 
 process and that we d see it when it went up. 
 
 Now, James was more gallant, and when 
 Minerva asked him to take her to see the bal 
 loon go up he took her to the very spot. 
 
 It so happened that when the balloon was 
 filled and they were ready to cast off the guy 
 ropes and go up to the extent of the long rope 
 Minerva took it into her sportive head to 
 catch hold of the rope and the next minute 
 the balloon went up with the stout Minerva 
 dangling beneath. 
 
 Three things went up no, four. The bal 
 loon, Minerva, a shriek, and a shout the lat 
 ter from the crowd. 
 
 Ethel and I had been in the main tent look-
 
 CHERRY DISPOSES 403 
 
 ing at the horticultural display, but at the 
 familiar shriek we ran out. 
 
 They had stopped the ascent of the balloon 
 but they flew Minerva full a hundred feet 
 above the crowd, one foot around the rope, 
 the other frantically kicking. 
 
 It was not an adventure that could have 
 happened to anyone but Minerva or if it had 
 happened to any other person he would have 
 fallen to earth and cast a gloom over the fair. 
 
 But somehow the crowd seemed to realize 
 that it was a time for mirth and that the girl 
 would come down all right and they howled 
 advice at her. Some told her to climb into 
 the car, a physical impossibility for her, while 
 others asked her to do tricks, supposing that 
 she was an acrobat in disguise. In fact I 
 think it was the general opinion that she was 
 an acrobat. 
 
 Poor Minerva an acrobat. Far from it. 
 
 "Oh, James, come an git me. I ll die up 
 here. Oh, Lawdy, why d I come up?" 
 
 Minerva was unconsciously quoting her 
 own utterance of a few weeks before. Why 
 had she come up, indeed. Was it to end her 
 days in the clouds ?
 
 404 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Much can happen in a little space of time 
 and although there was a good deal of give 
 and take on the part of Minerva and the 
 crowd I don t suppose she was up in the air 
 many seconds. We can afford to laugh at it 
 now but at the time, aside from its ludicrous 
 aspect there was a terrifying side to it. Mi 
 nerva was not built to fly to mother earth 
 from such a height and survive. 
 
 But although she was frightened half to 
 death she did not lose her grip, and her foot 
 around the rope lessened the strain on her 
 hands and James and several others sprang 
 to the rope and began to haul her down as 
 soon as they could. 
 
 When she felt her feet touch earth she fell 
 on her face in a dead faint and then the 
 crowd learned for the first time that she was 
 not an attraction of the fair. 
 
 A dash of lemonade the nearest approach 
 to water handy brought her to her senses, 
 but her feelings were hurt and she would not 
 listen to James s apologies (although what he 
 found to apologize for I don t know, seeing 
 he had not been to blame; but he was very 
 gallant) she would not listen to his apolo-
 
 CHEERY DISPOSES 405 
 
 gies but flounced off to a place far from the 
 madding crowd just as Miss Pussy had re 
 tired after the humiliation of her upward 
 trip and for the space of full five minutes 
 Minerva refused to be comforted. 
 
 But peanuts have a mollifying effect on 
 some dispositions and James bought a bulg 
 ing bag and presented them to the amateur 
 ascenseur and all went merry as a marriage 
 
 bell from that time on. 
 
 ****** 
 
 It was moonlight when the slow-moving 
 oxen, decorated with their prize-ribbons (for 
 they had won first prize) took up the home 
 ward march. 
 
 We had a free road in a very short time 
 for everything else passed us, and we sang 
 songs and yodled and tried to forget that to 
 morrow would end all the happy days. 
 
 Coming to a steep hill we all got out, al 
 though Mr. Goodman said there was no need. 
 But sitting Turk fashion is easier for Turks 
 than for Americans, and we felt the need of 
 limbering up. 
 
 The ascent was flanked on either side by 
 luxuriant maples that made a tunnel through
 
 406 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 which flecks of moonlight dappled the road. 
 When we had gone half way up the moon 
 seemed perched on the apex of the hill, golden 
 and radiant, and while Ethel and I looked 
 two figures walked into the shining circle 
 two figures that were very loverlike. 
 
 It was impossible to miss the significance. 
 ; Cherry and Hepburn. 
 
 Their heads were facing each other and 
 they were two black silhouettes representing 
 happiness. 
 
 I looked at poor Sibthorp who was walking 
 just ahead of us. He, too, had seen the sil 
 houette as it was outlined for one brief mo 
 ment against the golden background, and I 
 knew that his thoughts were not happy. I 
 knew that Jack and Billy were somewhere 
 behind us and a minute later Tom and his 
 wife took the place of the lovers, but there 
 was room for an ox team between them. 
 And yet Tom and his wife are happy. But 
 after twenty years silhouettes against the 
 moon are not loverlike, however loverlike 
 may be the hearts that are beating ten feet 
 apart. 
 
 That night, after all bad retired, Ethel
 
 CHERRY DISPOSES 407 
 
 stood before the glass taking out her hair 
 pins and she addressed my figure in the 
 mirror. 
 
 "What do you suppose!" said she in a low 
 voice. 
 
 "I suppose I m tired," said I yawning. 
 
 Cherry is engaged. 
 
 "Tell me something new," said I. "Where 
 are they going to live. 
 
 "In his studio " 
 
 "What," I almost shouted. "Is it Jack 
 after all." 
 
 "No, goosie," said she fondly. "It is 
 Billy." 
 
 "And the moon?" 
 
 "That was Billy and not Hepburn. I was 
 fooled too." 
 
 "But Billy hasn t a cent." 
 
 "No, but she has faith in his future, and 
 she says she has never loved any one else 
 since she first knew him, years ago." 
 
 "Ethel Vernon," said I. "As a character 
 reader I am not a success. I would have 
 sworn that it lay between Hepburn and Sib- 
 thorp." 
 
 "You must remember that Cherry is not a
 
 408 MINERVA S MANCEUVERS 
 
 character in one of your stories but a real 
 girl," said Ethel. 
 
 Well, I wish her joy of her long wait. 
 "It won t be as long a wait as it would be 
 if she had rejected him," was Ethel s Hi 
 bernian response.
 
 CHAPTER XXXIV. 
 
 MINERVA SETTLES IT. 
 
 AT almost the last moment we all post 
 poned our going down for a day as 
 there were so many last things to do 
 in the way of leaving the place winter-proof. 
 
 And it was well for ns that we waited, for 
 the very last mail altered the complexion of 
 things considerably. It contained a letter 
 from the Wheelocks telling us that instead of 
 coming home they had decided to stay in 
 Borne for another year. 
 
 "I thought I d write to say," it ran, "that 
 if you want to rent the house again next sum 
 mer we ll be glad to have you do so. Let 
 me know if any repairs are needed. 
 
 I sought out our guests and told them the 
 good news. 
 
 "We can have the place next summer and 
 we invite you all to come up again and be 
 with us, or build bungalows, if you want." 
 
 409
 
 410 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 Cherry blushed furiously. We might form 
 an artist colony." 
 
 "Suits me down to the ground," said 
 Billy. 
 
 Hepburn said nothing. Neither did Sib- 
 thorp, but Tom and his wife said that they 
 had been thinking seriously of building a lit 
 tle cottage, and now that we were sure to 
 come back he would surely do it. 
 
 "I must go and tell Minerva," said Ethel. 
 "Do you know she is positively blue this 
 morning at the thought of going back. 
 She ll be glad to know we are coming up 
 next year." 
 
 She went to the kitchen and through the 
 door which she left open we heard what fol 
 lowed. 
 
 "Minerva, I have some good news to tell 
 you. 
 
 "Yas m." 
 
 "The Wheelocks are not coming back for 
 a year and we ll take the house again next 
 summer, so you can come up with us and 
 see more of your friends up here." 
 
 Minerva laughed a joyous laugh, and 
 James, who had been nailing fast the kitchen
 
 MINERVA SETTLES IT 411 
 
 windows, added volume to her laugh in a 
 cachinnation that was brimming over with 
 optimism. 
 
 "Mrs. Vernon," said he, dropping his ham 
 mer on the floor. "Minervy wanted me to 
 tell you something that she thought might 
 disappoint you." He laughed again, this 
 time in a conscious way. "Fact is," said he, 
 "Minervy an me has come to an understand- 
 in , an , an an we re go n to git mar 
 ried." 
 
 "I m very glad to hear it," said Ethel, 
 quickly, "and I don t mind saying that I ve 
 been hoping for it. Mr. Vernon is quite sure 
 he can get something for you to do in the 
 city." 
 
 "Nothin in the city would just suit me, 
 ma am," said he, "I wasn cut out for the 
 city. I once passed a couple of days in 
 New York and it was all I wanted. Too 
 noisy." 
 
 "Oh, you d git used to that," said Miner 
 va. "M?/-oh-my, that s what I like about the 
 city. Ef twas noisier here I d like it a heap 
 better." 
 
 "Can t you postpone your marriage till
 
 412 MINERVA S MANOEUVRES 
 
 next summer, James? We can t get along 
 without Minerva, and we re coming back here 
 next summer and you could get married then 
 and we d employ you and probably run a 
 kitchen garden for you to attend to. You 
 see there ll be a number coming up next sum 
 mer." 
 
 "I dare say I could do that all right next 
 summer but I got a job at the Boardman s 
 tendin to their green house for the winter, 
 an Minerva an me s go n to git married 
 just as soon as you leave. She ain t go n 
 down at all." 
 
 Ethel saw it was no use to plead; that 
 Minerva and James were so selfish that they 
 had rather marry and stay up than postpone 
 their marriage the best part of a year in 
 order to enable her to keep a good cook. She 
 left the kitchen and came to me with the news 
 which I had already heard, as I told her. 
 
 The rest of the party condoled with her. 
 
 "Isn t it disheartening," said she, sinking 
 into a big arm chair disconsolately. 
 
 A brilliant thought struck me as I looked 
 at my wife. 
 
 "I have a solution of the whole business."
 
 MINERVA SETTLES IT 413 
 
 I stepped to the door. "James, stop that 
 hammering a minute. 
 
 James, who had resumed his task of nail 
 ing fast the sashes, stopped. 
 
 I returned again to Ethel. 
 
 * I think that I can work on that novel that 
 Scribrnan wants just as well here as in the 
 city. What do you say to our staying up 
 here all winter so as to keep Minerva ? 
 
 "Oh, you treasure of an idea-haver," said 
 Ethel, rushing at me and kissing me right be 
 fore everybody. 
 
 "But would James let her work?" said 
 Cherry. 
 
 "That remains to be seen," said I. 
 "Let s see it now." 
 
 We all trooped out into the kitchen, Mr. 
 and Mrs. Tom, the Benedicts, Jack and Billy, 
 Sibthorp and Hepburn and Cherry by her 
 self. She had avoided Billy all the morning 
 but as he had told me the news I knew it was 
 all right with them. 
 
 As we entered the kitchen James was walk 
 ing toward the north window and Minerva 
 was walking toward the south. Both of them 
 were looking very unconcerned. If I had
 
 414 MINERVA S MANCEUVEES 
 
 been making a picture of it I should have 
 called it * After the Salute. 
 
 "James," said I, "I congratulate you on 
 the news that Mrs. Vernon has just brought 
 me, although we ll hate to give Minerva up. 
 In fact we want to know whether if we de 
 cided to stay here all winter you could not 
 attend to the Boardman green house and let 
 Minerva do our cooking? You could live 
 here, you know. 
 
 James handsome face became occupied 
 with a smile of great dimensions. 
 
 "I reckon I could do that, all right, sir. 
 What do yon say, Minervy?" 
 
 Minerva simpered. "I d like nothin bet 
 ter than to work for you all winter up here. 
 I was thinkin it would be awful lonesome af 
 ter you left." James looked as if he thought 
 this only half a compliment but Ethel felt it 
 was a very sincere one. 
 
 "Oh, you dear good thing," said my wife, 
 and I was reminded of the day that Minerva 
 promised to go up to the hated country. 
 
 "James," said I, "there ll be no need to 
 postpone your wedding day. 
 
 Minerva giggled.
 
 MINERVA SETTLES IT 415 
 
 James looked me in the eye. Then he 
 picked up the hammer and going over to the 
 window he drew out the nails he had just 
 driven in. They would not be needed now 
 that we were going to stay. 
 
 "Mr. Vernon," said he, " member that 
 day we went to SpringfielT 
 
 Minerva giggled harder, sunk her head in 
 her shoulders, and put her hand before her 
 face. 
 
 "Yes, I remember," said I, wondering 
 what was coming. 
 
 "Well, we got married that day." 
 
 "Is that so, Minerva?" said Ethel. 
 
 "Yas m," said Minerva.
 
 DATE DUE 
 
 GAYUORD
 
 589 220
 
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