University of California • Berkeley Hillgro-' Practica and Depo: the Toilet ments, Te Precise In Btf-3:fol s. Ld Complete ^reatise on Etiquette Hints in Dress and ptions of the Rudi- including Clear and es, Waltzes, Polkas, Redowas, Reels, Kouna, I'lam ana i?ancy uances, so that any person may leam them without the aid of a Teacher ; to which is added Easy Direc- tions for Calling out the Figures of every Dance, and the amount of Music required for each. The whole illustrated with one hundred and seventy- six descriptive engravings and diagrams, by Thomas Hillgrove, Professor of Dancing. 237 pages, bound in cloth, with gilt side and back..$l .00. Bound in boards, with cloth back ... 75 cts. Rarey & Knowlson's Complete Horse Tamer and Pamer, comprising the whole Theory of Taming or Breaking the Horse, by a New and Improved Method, as practiced with great success in the Uni- ted States, and in all the Countries of Europe, by J. S. Rakey, containing Rules for selecting a good Horse, for Feeding Horses, etc. Also, The Com- plete Farrier ; or, Horse Doctor ; a Guide for the Treatment of Horses in all Diseases to which that noble animal is liable, being the result of fifty years' extftnsive practice of the author, by John C. Knowlsok, during his life, an English Farrier of high popularity, containing the latest discover- ies in the cure of Spavin. lUustirated with descriptive Engravings. Bound in boards, with cloth back ^ 50 cts. The Poet's Com.panion : A Dictionary of all Allmvahle Rhymes in the English Language. This is a book to aid aspiring genius in the Composition of Rhymes, and in Poetical Effusions generally. It gives the Perfect, the Imperfect, and the Allowable Rhymes, and will enable you to ascertain, to a certainty, whether any words can be mated. It is invalu- able to any one who desires to court the muses, and is used by some of the best writers in the country. Price ...... .......».../25 ots* The French Wine and Lignor Manufacturer. A Practical Guide and Private Receipt Book for the American Liquor Mer- chant. By JoHK Rack, Practical Wine and Liquor Manufacturer. Illus- trated with descriptive Diagrams, Tables, and Engravings. This is by far 'the most complete and reliable Book on the Manufacture of Liquor, ever published. Cloth, price $3,00. The Young Reporter; or, How to Write Short Hand. A Complete Phonographic Teacher, intended to afford thorough instruction to those who have not the assistance of an Oral Teacher. By the aid of this work, any person of the most ordinary intelligence may leam to "Write Short Hand, and Report Speeches and Sermons in a short time. Bound in boards, with cloth back, price -_ 50 cts. The Nightingale Songster ; or, Lyrics of Love. Con»tain- ing 164 Choica Sentimental Songs. Bound in boards, with eloth bark, and illustrated cover, price 35 cts. The Emerald * or. Book of Irish Melodies: Containing a Choice Collection of Irish, 'Comic, and Sentimental Songs. Bound in boards, with cloth back, and illustrated cover, price 35 cts. The Knapsack Full of Fun : or, lOOO Rations ofLaxighUr. Illustrated with over 500 Comic Engravings. Price 30 cts. DICK & FITZGESALD, 18 Ann St., N. Y. Copie* of the aboro booka feut to mj address ia tha I7. S. tx^ of postage ou r«oeipt of pri«». FORTUf'JE TELLERS ^ DQEAM OOOKS. Fontaine's G-olden 'Wheel Dream Book and^For- TUXE TELLER, liy Fkltx Eo>'rAi>'E, Eortune-Teller and Astrologer. Being the most complete book on Fortune Telling and Interpreting Dreams ever printed. Each Dream has the lucky numbkk which the Dream signi- fies attached to it, and those who wish to purchase Lottery Tickets will do well to consult them. This hook also informs you how to Tell FbitTt'NEs with the Golden Wheel, Cards, Vice aud Dominoes ; how to find where to dig for water, coal, oil, and all kinds of metals, with the celebrated -Divining Rod ; Charms to make your Sweetheart love you ; to make your Lover pop the question ; together with Twenty "Ways of Telling Fortunes on New Year's Ere. This book contains 144 pages, and is bound in pasteboard sides, with cloth back. It is illustrated with numerous engravings. It also contains a largo Colored Lithograi)hic Engraving of the Golden Wheel, which folds up. It is the cheapest on our list. Price..... 40 cts. Le Marchand's Fortune Teller ajid Dreamer's DICTIONARY. Containing a complete Dictionary of Dreams alphabeti- cally arranged, with a clear interpretation of each Dream, and the Lucky Numbers that belong to them. Also showing how to tell fortunes by the "Wonderful and My::-terious Lady's Love Oracle. How to Foretell the Sex and Number of Children. How to Make a Lover or Sweetheart Come to You. To tell whethf r your Lover or Sweetheart Loves you. How to tell any Person's Age. To know who your future Husband will be, and how soon you will be Mairicd, To ascertain whether your Husband or Wife is True to You. How to tell Future Events with. Caifis, Dice, Tea and Coffco Groun-.ls, Eggs, Apple Parings, and the Lines of the Hand. How to tell a Person's Character by Cabalistic Calculations, &c. By Madame Le Mar- CHAND, the celebrated Parisian Fortune Teller. Illustrated with numei^ous Wood Engravings. This book contains 144 pages, and is bound in paste- board,. with cloth back. Price 40 cts. Pettengill's Perfect Fortune Teller and Dream BOOK ; or. The Art of Discerning Future Events. This is a most complete Fortune-Teller and Dream Book. It is compiled with great care from authorities on Astrology, Geology, Chiromancy, Necromancy, Spiritual Philosophy, &c., &c. Among the subjects treated of are —Casting Nativities by the Stars. Telling Fortunes by Lines on the Hand, by Moles on the Body, by Turning Cards, by Questions of Destiny, by Physical Api»earances, by the Day of Birth, &c. Signs of Character from the Shape of the Finger Nails, the Nose, the Eyes, the Marks on the Body, the Shape of the Head ; and also Signs to Choose Husbands and Wives, &c. A book of 144 pngcs, bound in boards, with cloth back. Price 40 cts. The Everlasting Fortune Teller and Magnetic DREAM BOOK. Containing the Sciences of Foretelling EvenTs by the Signs of the Zodiac. Lists of Lucky and Unlucky Days. List of Fortunate Hours.* The Science of Foretelling Events by Cards. Dice, Dom.noes, &c. The Science of Foretelling anything in the Future by Dreams; nnd also con- taining Napoleon's Okaculum, or the Book of Fate. Price only .-30 cts. The Magician's Own Book. Being a Handbook of Parlor Magic, and containing several hundred amusing Magical, Mag- netical. Electrical and Chemical Experiments, Astonishing Transmutations, Wonderful Sieight-ot-Hand and Card Tricks, Curious and Perplexing Puz- zles, Quaint Questions in Numbers, &c., together with all the most noted Tricks of Modern Performers. Illustrated with over 500 Wood Engi'avings, I2mo., cloth, gilt side and back stamp, 400 pages. Price $1 50 Copies at the aboy« buuks Buut free uf postage* oa receipt of price. Wright's Book of 3,000 American Receipts ; or, Light House of Valuable Information. Containing over 3,000 Receipts in all the Useful and Domestic Arts — including Cookery, Confectionery, Dis- tilling, Perfumery, Chemicals, Varnishes, Dyeing, Agriculture, &c. Em- bracing valuable secrets that cannot be obtained from any other source. l\o exertion or expense has been spared to make this work as comprehensive and accurate as possible. Many receipts will be found in it that have never before appeared in print in this country. Some idea may be formed of its value in this latter respect, when it is stated that the compiler has been for many years engaged in collecting rare and valuable receipts from nu- merous languages besides the English. This is by far the most valuabla American Receipt Book that has ever been-published. 12mo., cloth, 359 pages. Price - $1 50 ''Trump's" American Hoyle ; or, Gentleman's Handbook of Games. Containing clear and complete descriptions of all the games played in the United States, with the American Rules for playing ihem, including Whist, Euchre, Besique, Cribbage, All-Fours, Loo, Poker, Brag, Piquet, Ecarto, Boston, Cassino, Chess, Checkers, Backgammon, Dominoes, Billiards, and a hundred other games. This work is designed to be an American authority for all the various games of skill and chance. It has been prepared with great care by the editor, with the assistance of a num- ber of gentlemen players of skill and ability, and is not a re-hash of English games, but a live American book, expressly prepared for American read- ers. 12mo., cloth 500 pages, with illustrations. Price $2 00 Frank Converse's Complete Banjo Instructor, Without a Master, Containing a choice collection of Banjo Solos, Homv pipes, Reels, Jigs, "Walk-Arounds, Songs and Banjo Stories, progressively arranged and plainly explained, enabling the learner to become a proficient Banjoist without the aid of a teacher. The necessary explanations accom- pany each tune, and are placed under the notes on each page, plainly show- ing the string required, the finger to be used for stopping it, the manner of striking, and the number of times it must be sounded. This is all arranged and explained in so clear a manner, and the method is so simple and easy to learn, that it may be readily comprehended at a glance by any person, even of very limited understanding. By this simple method a person may master a tune in an hour or so. Mr. Converse is an eminent professor of the Banjo and a thorough musician, and his plan of instruction is entirely new and perfectly easy. This book is no catchpenny affair, but is just what we say it is. The Instructor is illustrated with diagrams and explanatory symbols. 100 pages, bound in boards, clotk back. Price 50 cts. The Finger-Post to Public Business. Containing the mode ofiorming and conducting Societies, Clubs, and other organized Associations ; full Rules of Order for the government of their debates and business ; complete directions how to compose resolutions, reports and pe- titions ; and the manner of managing Conventions, Public Meetings, Cele- brations, Dinners, Barbecues-, and Pic-nics ; Models of Constitutions for Lyceums, Institutes, and other societies. With rules of Cricket, Base Ball, Shinny, Quoits, Yachtiug and Rowing, and Instructions concerning Incor- porations. Hints about Libraries and Museums, with a catalogue of desir- able Books, and a List of American Coins ; and Rules for the collection and preservation of books, MSS., and objects of Curiosity. Bules for Debating, and the composition and delivery of Public Addresses, with examples of fig- ures of speech and a selection of specimens of style from various American ora- tors. Together with an appendix, containing the original Articles of Confed- eration of the United States, the Constitution, the celebrated Virginia and Kentucky Resolutions, and other documents of reference. By an Ex-Mem- ber of the Philadelphia Bar. 12mo., cloth. Price $1 50 CopitB of die aftoVe &o«ks ■«&( fr«e of portage on receipt of price. The Perfect G-entleman. A book of Etiquette and Elo- quence. Containing Information and Instruction for those who desire to become brilliant or conspicuous in General Society, or at Parties, Dinners, or Popular Gatherings, &c. It gives directions how to use wine at table, with Rules f(>r judging the quality thereof, Rules for Carviag, and a com- plete Etiquette of the Dinner Table, including Dinner Speeches, Toasts and Sentiments, Wit and Conversation at Table, &c. It has also an American Code of Etiquette and Politeness for all occasions. Model Speeches, with Directions how to deliver them. Duties of the Chairman at Public Meet- ings. Forms of Preambles and Resolutions, &c. It is a handsomely bound and gilt volume of 335 pages. Price $1 50 Martina's Hand-Book of Etiq.Tiette and G-uide TO TRUE POLITENESS. A complete Manual for all those who desire to un- derstand good breeding, the customs of good society, and to avoid incorrect and vulgar habits. Containing clear and comprehensive directions for correct man- ners, conversation, dress, introductions,riiles for good behavior at Dinner Parties and the table, with hints on carving and wine at the table; together with the Etiquette of the Ball and Assembly Room, Evening Parties, and the usages to be observed when visiting or receiving calls; deportment in the street and when traveling. To which is added the Etiquette of Courtship and Marriage. Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price 5Q cts. Bound in cloth, gilt side. Price 75 cts^ The Secret Out; or, One Thousand Ti^cks with (Jards, and othtr Recreations. Illustrated with over Three Hundred Engravings. A book which explains all the Tricks and Deceptions with Playing Cards ever known, and gives, besides, a great many new ones — the whole being des- cribed so carefully, with engravings to illustrate them, that anybody can easily learn how to perform them. This work also contains 240 of the best Tricks in Legerdemain, in addition to the card tricks. 12mo., 400 pages, bound in cloth, with gilt side and back. Price $1 50 The Illustrated Hand-Book of Billiards. By Michael Phelan and Claudius Bsrger. Containing a complete treatise of the noble Game of Billiards, with a description of all the different shots, how to bring the balls together, &c. To which is added, the Rules of the American or Four-Ball Game, the English Game, and the French or Three- Ball Game. Also containing the Rules for all the different Games of Pool. Illustrated copiously with engrarings. Price -30 cts. The American Home Cook Book. Containing seve- ral hundred excellent Recipes. The whole based on many years' experi- ence of an American Housewife. Illustrated w?th Engravings. All the Recipes in this book are written from actual experiments in Cooking. There are no copyings from theoretical cooking recipes. Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 50 cts. Bound in paper cover. Price. ..^ 30 cts. The G-ame of Draughts or Checkers Simplified AND EXPLAINED. With Practical Diagrams and Illustrationsrtogether with a Checker-board, numbered and printed in red. Containing the Eighteen Standard Games, with over 200 of the best variations, selected from the various authors, together with many original ones never before published. By D. Scattkrgood. Bound in cloth, with flexible cover. Price 50 cts. Courtship Made Easy; or, The Art of Making Love fully Explained, Containing full and minute directions for conducting a Court- ship with Ladies of every age and position in society, and valuable informa- tion for persons who desire to enter the marriage state. Also, Forms of Love Letters to be used on certain occasions. 64 pages. Price -15 cts. Copies of tk« above books Bcnt free of postaga oa reeelpt of price. G-OOD BOOKS SENT trPON RECEIPT OP THE PRIcE. 1^^ The Al-ma-kan-tur Circle ; or. How to Win a Sweetheart ©r Lover. Containing Facts and New Discoveries never before offered to the public- Being of the greatest importance to both Married and Single Persons, of both sexes. By M. L. Byhn, M.D., Graduate of the University of the City of New York. Price, 25 cents. Liaug-hing: Gas. An Encyclopsedia of "Wit, "Wisdom, and "Wind. By Sam Slick, Jr. Comically illustrated with 100 original and laughable Engrav- ings, and nearly 500 side-extending Jokes, and other things to get fat on ; and the best of it is, that every thing about the book is new and fresh— all new — new designs, new stories, new type — no comic-almanac stuff. It will be found a complete antidote to *' hard times." Price, 25 cents. The Bar-Tender's Gnide ; or, Uow to. Mix Plain and Fancy Drinks. Containing nearly Thuee Hundred llccipcs for mixing American, English, French, German, Italian, Spanish, and Huasian Drinks— such as Juleps, Punches, Cobblers, Slings, Cocktails, «S:c. By Jerry Thomas, late bar- tender at the Metropolitan Hotel, Now York. To which is appended a Manual for the Manufacture of Cordials, Liquors, Fancy Syrups, &c., con- taining 463 Recipes, after the most approved methods now used in the Dis- tillation of Liquors and Beverages. Designed for the special use of Manu- facturers and Dealers in Wines and Spirits, Grocers, Tavcrn-Keepers, and Private Families, the same being adapted to the Trade of the United States and Canadas. By Prof. Christian Schultz, Practical Chemist, and Manu- facturer of "Wines, Liquors, Cordials, «tc., ;from Bern, Switzerlaiid. 12mo. Cloth. Price, |«.50. Charley "White's Joke-Book. Being a perfect Casket of Fun, the first and only work of the kind ever published. Containing a full expose of all the most laughable Jokes, Witticisms, &c., as told by the celebrated Ethio- pian Comedian, Cuxvu^vt "White. 94 pages. Price, 12 cents. Black "Wit and Darkey Conversations. By Charles Whitk. Con- taining a large col) action of laughable Anecdotes, Jokes, Stories, "Witti- cisms, and Darkey 'Jonversations. Price, 12 cents Chips from TJncle Sam's Jack-Knife. Illustrated with orer one hundred Comical Engravings, and comprising a collection of over five hundred Laughable Stories, Funny Adventures, Comic Poetry, Queer Con- undrums, Terrific Puns, "Witty Sayings, Sublime Jokes, and Sentimental Sentences. The whole being a most perfect portfolio for those who love to laugh. Large octavo. Price, 25 cents. IFox's Ethiopian Comicalities. Containing Strange Sayings, Eccentric Doings, Burlesque Speeches, Laughable Drollerie?, Funny Stories, inter- spersed with Refined Wit, Broad Humor, and Cutting Sarcasm, copied ver- batim, as recited by the celebrated Ethiopian Comedian. "With several Comic Illust Nations. Price, 12 cents. No ^hargefor Catalogues or information. Address, DICK & PITZGERAIiD. 18 Ann Street. N. Y. CHESTERFIELD'S ART OP LETTER- WRITIISTG s I m: i> X. I F- 1 E r) . BSTNa A GCTDB TO FRIENDLY, AFFKCTIONATE, POLJTB AND BUSINESfl COERESPONDENCE, CONTAINING A LARGE COLLECTION OF THB MOST VALUABLE INFORMATION RELATIVE TO TUB ART OF LETTER -WRITING, WITH CLEAR AND COMPLETE IN- STRUCTIONS HOW TO BEGIN AND END OOB- RE8P0NDENCB, RULES FOE PUNOTUA- TION AND SPELLINO, Ao. TO WHICH IS APPENDED THB COMPLETE RULES OF ETIQUETTE. AND THE USAGES OF SOCIETY : CONTAINING THE MOSST APPROVED KULE8 FOE CORRECT DEPORTMKK* IN FASHIONABLE LIFE, TOGETHER WITH HINTS TO OENTLK- MEM AND LADIES ON IRREGULAR AND TULQA2 HABITS, ALSO, TUB ETIQUETTE OF LOYB AND COURTSHIP, MAREIAGK BOT- QUETTK, Ac KEWYORK: DICK & FITZGERALD, PUBLISHERS No. 18 ANN STREET Biiiv -^ aeoorfllDg to Act of Congress, in the yebr 1857, l>y GAEEETT, DTCTC ^ FITZGEEALD, la the Ocrk'ft Office of tlie Dirtrlct Conn of the United Stcte« tot tt» Southern District of New York . CHESTERFIELD'S LETTER-WRITING SIMPLIFIED. Good letter-writing is one of the mainsprings of business, and one of the strongest connecting links of common life. To write a business letter, and to write a familiar one, re- quire as different qualifications as to enter a drawing-room and to knock at one's own street-door. Let us try to point out what these qualifications are. Tact is equally necessary in both, but tact^of a different character. In writing to a man of business, brevity becomes literally " the soul of wit," and true tact will teach us three things ; first, never to waste time in more compliments than are demanded by the common courtesy due from one man to another ; secondly, never to say anything that has nothing to do with the subject : and thirdly, always to say all that the subject really requires, and to say that clearly. A letter of ten lines will often fulfill all these conditions, when a lengthy epistle will bring back an impatient wish to " know the meaning of your communication of the — th." In writing letters, we ought to consider that we may be wast- ing another person's time more precious than our own, in the mere operation of reading, to say nothing of understanding and replying to them. But let us always remember, that it is possible to be brief and to the purpose, without being bearish or un courteous. I'act in familiar writing, and in some half-business-halr- familiar correspondence (which enters constantly into our every-day life) consists in a clear and ready interpretation of our thoughts and wishes, as well as in a prompt and graceful understanding of those of another. Here we are less fettered by the pressing calls of time already over-em- ployed ; we are enabled to speak on paper (which is the great and true perfection of letter-writing,) and we mingle the m s>n^i ^22 4 chesterfield's letter WRruta. gentler feelings of home associations witn the sterner calls of duty. But tact is no less wanting under these circum- stances. Who would write to a child at school, to a friend just married, or to a dignitary of the church, all in the same t(^xms ? One may be familiar with all three. And even on the most familiar occasions, and in address- uig the most familiar friends, this tact will aid us in not a few material points. It will prevent us mistaking boisterous familiarity (and, too often, slang and vulgarity) for hearti- ness — carelessness in grammar for freedom of style (a mis- take, unhappily, not confined to letter-writers only), and will give a refinement and gracefulness which enhance even the most tender passages of love and friendship. Now it is candidly to be confessed that the art of ac- quiring this tact, (which is little else than the whole art of letter-writing,) is one of time, trouble, and difficulty. The earlier it be commenced, the better ; but there are many, whose acquaintance with the world at large begins late in life — perhaps never begins at all, and from such persona much cannot be expected. A regular correspondence with those who themselves write well is unquestionably the surest means of attaining this end, and, next to it, the frequent perusal of such letters as form a part — and a charming part — of the writings of our best authors. To those who possess the opportunity of cultivating both or either of those resources, the examples contained in the following pages can teach little, excepting, perhaps, the art of saying plain things in plain words, and being able to say no more than is necessary upon a trifling subject — a matter which a great many very clever people find more difficult than they are willing to confess. As to letters on courtship, matrimony, and such like matters, the editor candidly confesses that he should feel lit- tle sympathy with any gentleman who received a printed circular in answer to an address taken from a printed letter. Had he consulted his own inclinations, he would probably have excluded any attempts to deal with such matters (where befitting writing can only spring from the deepest recesses of the human heart) ; but, in deference to custom, he haa prepared some specimens, and selected a few o4:hers, which he trusts will, at all events, not lead his readers to any of the displays of folly or misplaced romance, which too fre- q-iently form painfully-ludicrous episodes in the earlier ao- TACT IN LETTEH-WRITINQ. qnaiutance of the two sexes. A manly and honoiable feel- ing towards the objects of our affections will, it is to be hoped, always suffice to prompt its ho'nest expression, w Ab- out running into bombast, extravagant adulation, oi unrea- Bonable and absurd protestations. Howsoever humble, or elevated, there is no situation of life in which the " art of letter-writing" must not occasion ally be found of vast importance. To the poor, it is a com- fort, a solace, a blessing ; with the middle and higher classes of society, it is an indispensable acquirement — an exhaust- less source of enjoyment and pleasure. It ought to be re- garded as an essential part of education. But, like other arts, it must be taught, or studied ; for, whatever may be the scholastic advantages of the individual, it can rarely, if ever, be possessed by intuition. Po you feel puzzled when you sit down to write a letter ? Are you in a fix how to begin ? Would you rather walk a mile to tell your friend what you have to say, than spend half a day in writing to him or her ? Do you postpone the writing of a letter because it is " such a bother" until the occasion for writing has gone by, or the patience of your friend is exhausted, or you yourself " ashamed of having put it off so long ? " Attend a while, and you shall endure these pains no more — you shall no longer suffer headache or cramp in the wrist, nor the loss of a day in accomplishing what may be done in a quarter of an hour, nor the worry and vexation of not knowing how to begin, or, having begun, how to go on, or how to leave off; nor the danger of break- ing faith with the best of friends because, although you would if you could, yet you cannot, cannot write a letter. Can you write a letter without hesitation, demur, or diffi- culty ? Can you seize the pen, and, at once, commit your thoughts to paper as freely as you could speak them, stating your business proposals, your friendly assurances, your grat- ulations, your condolence, your love ; or, in the formal lan- guage of reserved politeness, convey your acceptance or refusal of an invitation or a present, or your simple notifica- tion or acknowledgement of a fact ? If you can do this you want none of our advices, and we assure you at starting that we do not believe we have a single hint to offer you — therefore, if you read on it is at your own peril, not ours. But we do offer help to those who really want ii>— and their name is legion. Persons who are not accustomed to the use b CHESTERFIELD S LETTER-WRITER. of the pen find it a tough task to write a letter, and the difficulty is the greater in proportion to the insufficiency of tneir education. Many, even among sensible and well- informed people, are but poor hands at letter-writing, or even in the diction of a simple note, and they wonder how in the world it is that others of no better education than themselves are so ready in the use of the pen, so little em- barrassed in the composition of sensible and even long let- ters, so happy in their expressions, so clear in their state- ments, their sentences so brief, so well arranged, and the whole tone of their correspondence characterized by good sense, good feeling, and true politeness. It seems as if there were a mystery about it which only a gifted few can under- stand ; whereas there is no mystery whatever ; comparative- ly speaking, nothing to be learnt ; for whosoever can manage to scrawl with a pen, and spell the words in common use, might, with the exercise of a little patient perseverance, write down their thoughts as easily as they can speak them. But, says the reader, " This is not exactly true ; for I have persevered for years, my hand-writing is really respectable, I can spell correctly, and I know something of grammar, and yet it costs me much labor to write a letter, and, after all, J seldom write one that pleases me, and (ia confidence) I assure yoa, I frequently write half a dozen, and say the same thing in half a dozen different ways, and then destroy them all because there is not one that I consider fit for the occa- sion." What of that? The most accomplished scholar that ever lived, the most finished inditer of a model letter, found a little difficulty at first, and no literary man ever ac- quired the free and ready use of the pen without some stumb- lings at starting, and you have only to persevere in the right direction^ to attain excellence in this necessary, useful, and ornamental accomplishment. A well-written letter has opened the way to prosperity for many a one, has led to many a happy marriage and constan friendship, and has secured many a good service in time of need ; for it is in some measure a photograph of the writer and may inspire love or hatred, regard or aversion, in the reader, just as the glimpse of a portrait often determines us In our estimate of the worth of the person represented. Therefore, one of the roads to fortune runs throtfgh the ink- bcttle, and if we want to attain a certain end in lo^e, friend- USUAL STYLE OF COMPOSITION. 7 Bhip, or business, wo must trace oufc the route correctly with the pen in our own hand. Let us take the general case of letter-writing as practised by uneducated persons. Whatever be the subject of the letter on the occasion of writing, it is pretty sure to begin thus : " This comes hopping to find you all well, as it leaves us at present, thank God for it." In the next letter the writer varies the commencement for the sake of change, and begins : '* I take up my pen to write you these few lines.*' By-and-by the writer begins to suspect that such a mode of beginning a letter is not very elegant, and eighteen cents are expended on that very remarkable work, " The Lady^s and Gentleman's Complete Letter Writer, 90th edition." The time comes for another letter ; the " Complete Letter Writer" is dragged out from the darkness of the drawer in which it had hoped to conceal itself for ever, and an hour is spent in the search for a model letter that will just express the wri- ter's feelings and ideas. But, alas ! among the three hundred and forty-seven specimens of every style of correspondence, there is not one in which James is politely requested not to forget the boots, or Eliza is reminded that Walter still hopes ' to meet her, with sentiments unchanged, when next she vi&its New York ; there is nothing in the " domestic letters" to meet the case of baby's teeth, or Susan's blistering, or Jere- miah's illness and recovery, or the death of Mrs. Jones. The " business letters" say not a word about the administra- tion of Jones's will, they do not even mention the appren- ticeship of young Waggles. As to the " love letters," the writer thereof has made no provision for Jemima's accept- ance of Joseph on condition that he will at once shave off his mousfh,che, and take to all-round collars, and give up punning at the dinner-table. The " complimentary letters" are certainly very pretty, but they don't help one to present compliments to Mrs. Popejohn, and thank her for her kind present of a green cat, and a pair of turtle doves. No ; nor when the general form of any letter or note does happen to suit, can the copyist determine how or where to work in a little special request, or remark, or question, or, in fact, to taake a respectable statement of any kind save and except 5 CHESTERFIELD S LETTER- WKITEB. what IS actually printed ; and for this good reason — that a printed letter saves the writer the trouble of thinking ; and self-dependence, confidence, easy expression of ideas, are, of course, in any such case impossible. The fact is, a complete letter writer is a complete sham, an absurdity. People want to write letters " out of their own heads," and it is impossible to give them " ready made" letters, which, like ready made shirts, shall fit every subject that may require clothing. We know a case of a gentleman — at least, a person — who offered his hand to a lady with the help of a letter writer. The letter began, " Beverend Miss ;" how it finished the reader need not be told, but, of course the lover was rejected, and his " billy dux" went into the lady's museum of curious autographs. Perhaps he should have copied it " Revered Miss," but he should not have copied at all. Had he written what he really felt, in the best lan- guage he could command, he might have gained a hearing, and, perhaps, a bride ; but he went to a dead sepulchre of words instead of speaking from his living heart, and deserved the snubbing for his pains. The fii-st step, then, towards attaining the art of letter-writing is, to tear up the " Com- plete Letter Writer" into pipe-lights, or curl-papers ; at all events, it must be got out of sight, and you must begin de novo, that is, out of your own head. You want to write a letter, then, and you are puzzled how to begin. Will you write sentences on bits of paper, and accumulate them till you have a heap, then sort and arrange them, copy them out at length, and then correct and copy the whole ? Nothing of the sort ; yet this is the way same people write letters. We know a case of a lady who broke off an engagement with a gentleman, and who had occasion to return him a book which she had borrowed. She wrote an indignant letter, composed bit by bit till she had about half a peck of little sentences. When she came to copy them out the greater part were of a most objection- able kind ; some, she remembered afterwards, were very bold, nay, insulting, in tone. But she managed to make up what she thought a very proper letter, and, by some strange mud- dle, gave him both book and letter with her own hands. But, alas ! she had no sooner parted from him than she re- membered she had tucked the half-peck of disjointed senten- ces inside the book, so that he not only had the letter, but fiOW TO ARRANGE TOUR SUBJECTS J the corrupt pieces out of which it had been made. She hoped Lever to meet him again— let us hope she never did though he might have found her a sadder but a wiser woman. When you sit down to write a letter, think of your subject — of the circumstances you wish to state. On a spare piece of paper put down your loose ideas, your various points promiscuously as they occur. For instance, I will suppose that you have a doz^,n different heads, more or less, on which you desire to expatiate. Put them all down, (leaving a little margin on the left hand side of your paper,) no matter in what order, one after another, as they occur ; a single word will in most cases suffice to lead your memory. Having proceeded so far, consider in what manner, in what order, the different heads of your letter may be arranged, so as to produce a harmonious and effective whole, and number them in the margin accordingly, 1, 2, 3, &c. There are three modes by which your task may be successfully accomplished ; the mode to be determined by circumstances, and by your own taste and judgement. First. — Suppose that you have numbered your subjects according to their intrinsic importance, 1, 2, 3, &c., and that you wish to treat of them in that order, commencing with No. I. By this means you will first state your most iipportant point, and then gradually descend, numerically, and close with No. 12, the least significant in the series. To this mode, unless for short letters, there is an objection ; your letter incurs the risk of becoming tame, feeble and unim pressive at the close. Second, — Number your subjects inversely ; that is, hi your first head, No. 1, be of the slightest consideration in the series ; No. 2 will pot*iess an interest somewhat higher ; No. 3 will become still more interesting ; your letter will thus grow upon the attention of the reader as he proceeds ; and, by reserving the most important point till the last, it will terminate with a strong and impressive climax. Third. — For long letters, or for letters embracing a great variety of subjects, this will generally be found the most preferable ; but still as I have said, the mode must be de- termined by circumstances, and by the taste and judgement of the writer. Adopt, first the descending, and llien the 10 chesterfield's letter-writer. ascending icale ; from superior to inferior j and then from infe^^or f . superior ; somethmg like this : 12! 1 11 2 10 3 9 4 8 6 7 6 That is, commence with No. 1, as an important point, though of less importaDce than No. 12 ; thus descend in the importance of the respective points till you reach the bottom of the scale, No. 6 ; after which you may ascend from the comparatively insignificant point, No. 6, till you gradually reach the most important point of all, No. 12. Or you may number your subjects in a double series, according to tho modes, First and Second, thus : Superior 1 1 Inferior 1 1 2 2 3 3 4 4 6 o 6 6 Inferior 6 6 Superior. By these means the commencement of your letter will be good, and its termination will be better ; and calculated to leave a clear and strong impression on the mind of the reader. You want to begin your letter, and it is to be a letter to a friend. Now just consider for a moment what you would say to that friend if he or she were present. The moment you have abstracted yourself, the first words of greeting wil • pass through your mind, then the inquiries, and your friend'fe responses. Quietly take a pen and write down those imagined words. But the moment you take a pen the words are gone, and your mind is as barren as ever ; that is because you arc trying to say something grand, to " write like a book,'^ or like somebody else whose letters you like. Never mind how Bentences are made in books, or how somebody else begins nuch pretty letters. Write as you would sveakj write on ¥U A FAMILIAR LETTER. 11 yon have written all you would speak, as far as the compass of a letter will enable you, and you will be surprise*! to find that you have explained yourself in a straightforward way, and with a feeling of grace that does yoa credit. We beg you to depend wholly upon yourself, to write down your simple thoughts as they occur to you, and to state your requests, your replies, your sympathies and suggestions, just as if your friend were beside you, and you were talking as friends do talk. For instance, a young man is about to write to his absent brother, and he begins, " Dear Thomas." Then he is stuck fast, and he thinks of sending his letter " hopping to find brother Thomas well." Then the great event which he is to relate thoroughly puzzles him, and, at last, he writes " mother and father send their loves, and mother has been confined, and the baby is a girl, and its to be named Eliza." But if he would imagine himself talking to brother Thomas^ he would write in this wise : *' Dear Tom— " As we have not received any unpleasant news from you, we feel assured that you are hearty and prospering. But if you are at all pinched in pocket, or out of health, don't hesitate to let us know, for we are anxiously concerned 8 bout your pro gress, and father would remit you a few dollars rather than that you should suffer inconvenience from scarcity of cash. *' You know what a quiet Hfe we live, and can well imagine how excited the village has been lately, when I tell you that there is an addition to the family here — a thumping sister for you, Tom, boni at twelve, on Tuesday night last, and ' mother and child doing well.' The nurse, old Hatchet— you remember her — says she is the finest baby she ever saw. She certainly is a fine child ; but, upon my soul, she makes a horrid noise all night, I'm glad that my bed-room is at the top of the house, and I can patiently bear with the moaning of the pigeons when I reflect on the sort of serenades I should have if I slept in the room you had. ' ' Of course, we might go on and ccmpose a very long letter to brother Tom ; but as it is impossible to iiivent a letter of any kind, suitable to more than one case in ten thousand ; 80 it is absurd to invent incidents or imagine feelings, in the expectation that some lucky chance will make them suitable to any one about to write a letter CTur object is to impress 12 CHESTERFIELD S LETTER- WRITER. upon the beginner the necessity of writing what he or she may really think and feel, and to abandon all intention of producing an effect by fine writing, or hard words. That . which you say directly from yourself will most forcibly appeal to the reader of your letter ; and whatever the object of the letter — a mere interchange of friendship, a declara- tion of love, or a business proposition — it will be more readily attained by a letter written off-hand, than by one which may cost you a whole night of study, even if you nibble the pen into pulp, and spoil a quire of paper. But if your letter, when so written, has an awkward look, go over it carefully, and strike out every word that seems superfluous. In this suicidal sort of task you will have to slaughter adjectives wholesale. Adjectives, my dear reader, are those words which express the qualities of things, and inexperienced writers are generally addicted to an excessive use of them. An extraordinary incident, a remarkable fact, a very strange and wonderful occurrence, a magnificent and splendid appearance, and so on, are to be regarded as excrescences which you must prune off, however fine they look for the moment. Run your pen through every word that can be spared, no matter how small the word may be ; erase whole sentences if they are not strictly essential to convey your meaning ; and when you have reduced the com- pass of your letter, you will remember something which you ought to have said, but which escaped you while writing ; add any such omitted matters, and copy the whole out as clearly as you can, and you will be pleased with the new form of your letter, though you may have endured many pangs in erasing some portions of the original. Let us have an example to help us. You write in the first instance, thus : "I did not receive yours of the 18th till this morning, bj that it has been six days detained by the post, which is very inconvenient, as the letter might have been of much more im- portance; and in that case you might have thought me negli- gent in not replying earlier, which I could not do of ct)uns«^, because I had not received the letter. 1 am glad to hear tbjii your health continues so good, and I hope it will do so, and 1 dare say it will, for the air is good and the situation high where you are now living, and, by this time, I should think, very pleas- ant. It gave me verv great pain, and much sorrow to hear of the sad news of your niece's continued illness, especially as ) AN AWKWARD LOOKINQ LKTTER. 13 ave SO much regard for her, and remember, as I shall always do, the very pleasant and agreeable mornings we used to spend together in walking over those remarkable ruins, where there are so many extraordinary beauties of scenery, and so much tc interest the mind, in the contemplation of magnificent sceneiy find wonderful prospects at the Abbey. I am sure you will believe me very thankful for your kind offer which you state hi your letter ; but as I am so much engaged at home, and have to see to Harry's busiuess when he is away on market-days, I cannot accept it, though I can assure you that I should be most happy to do so if circumstances permitted, and I could see clearly that I should be able to stay ; because such an engage- ment is not of much use unless one can keep it for some time at least, and if I took it I should like to stay a year or two." Perhaps, when you have got so far you may halt to take breath, and find your space exhausted ; and then some im- portant matter, which you had nearly forgotten, will have to be scribbled round the edges of the letter, as a sort of framework, being, perhaps, of more importance than the picture. Just write out this additional matter in a para- graph, and then go over the whole and see what you can cut out. ■ You will find that you have wasted a great space in apologizing for not having replied earlier, in consequence of the delay of the post. You have been very diffuse about your correspondent's health, and still more so on the few matters that follow, but yet you cannot see where to spare a portion ; but if you imagine that you were called upon to relate in a few words the contents of your letter, you would soon find that it might be condensed into a neat shape thus : " Yours of the 18th did not arrive here til! this morning, and the delay will excuse any apparent negligence on my part, in not replying earlier. I hear with much pleasure of your con- tinued good health, which I sincerely hope will continue ; the purity of the air and elevation of the position are, I think, very much in your favor. It gives me much sorrow to hear of the continued illness of your niece, the more so that I remember with pleasure the agreeable mornings Ave used to spend together imong the interesting ruins and charming scenery of the Abbey. ** The proposal you make me I highly appreciate, and would at once accept, were I not very much engaged at home. Let me, therefore, decline, with sincere, thanks, the eugageinent you 80 kindly offer." 2 4 CHESTERFIELD S LETTER-WRITER. Wlien you have thus reduced the bulk and improved the style of your letter, you will find room for the additional matters that you were at first compelled to thrust into an a^ly postscript. In all cases you must guard ag-ainst diffuseness, you must DB plain and brief, and you will soon find that half a dozen words will usually convey your meaning" more clearly and more elegantly than half a dozen . sentences. But brevity must never be cultivated to such an extent as to merge into abrupftiess, for abruptness and rudeness are near neighbors, and a moderate freedom of expression is always preferable to immoderate condensation. There is a story told of a gallant, who wrote to a noted general the following brief epistle : " To General , ** Sally has accepted me ; can I have her ? " Yours, " To which the General replied : " Go aheud, " Yours, -■ ." Another important matter to be borne in mind is, to go aa straight to your subject as possible. Do not circumvent, ox play a game of round-about, but plainly say what you mean, as if you were expressing yourself in the simplest conversa tion. Here is a bit of circumventing fearful to behold : " Sir, " I am very sorry that I should hftve to trouble you so often ^ but in consequence of the very great dullness of trade, and the difficulty of getting moneys iu at this dead season of the year, and the few orders that I get, and most of them from custom- ers who expect credit, and that for a long period, when ready money trade is that which I most want ; together with the late failure of the Messrs. Brassey, which occurred on the 10th vi last month, aiid in consequence of which the Branch Bank stopped payment on the following day, and a small balance which I had taere is lost, or at least I shall only get a small dividend, and that not at present ; and some orders which I bad from the Messrs. Brassey were countermanded ; and if they had not been countermanded I could not have gone on with them ; besides which, I had a small account against them which they had promised to settle mmediateJy, and in conse- DON'T BE VERBOSE. 15 quence of their failure I shall have to take my chance "with the other creditors, and shall get, I fear, but a very small dividend ; 60 that all my transactions with that firm have been a loss to me. If you could advance me another hundred dollars, on my bond, for three months, I should esteem it a great iavor, and would make such good use of the money, in completing orders which I have in hand, and which I cannot go on with for w^ant oi cash, but which if completed, will be very profitable, and ena- ble me to discharge my obligations to you, and to inscribe myself, youi* very obedient and humble servant, " Jonas Slowcoach." Now, this request of our friend might be compressed into a few modest words, and a respectful appeal made, which would be more likely to secure him the loan he wants than the long-winded statement he herein inflicts upon his patron. No sensible man would care to lend any one so much money after reading such a letter ; it is worth all the money to wade through it. But if Jonas would " re-word the matter," and give the whole a decent shape, he might stand a good chance of having his request granted. Let him go straight to the point, and his patron will see at once that he is deal- ing with a man of decision, who preserves a proper self- respect and independence even when asking a favor. *♦ Sir, " I regret that I should have again to tax your kindness, but I am under the necessity of requesting you to advance me an- other hundred dollars to enable me to complete some orders of a profitable kind, for which ready money is indispensable. 1 Bhould not have had to trouble you had not the recent failure oi Messrs. Brassey entailed upon me some heavy los8es,which the orders I have in hand will enable me to some extent to repair. Messrs. Brassey's failure was announced on the 10th of last month, and on the following day the Branch Bank stopped payment, and a balance of cash which I had there was rendenyl unavailable, and will possibly be lost. Besides this misfortune?, the Messrs. Brassey owed me an account at the moment of their failure, and I shall now have to take my chance of a dividend with the other creditors. Trade is very dull," &c. &c. One great cause of tediousness in letters is, the practice adopted by writers of interlarding their sentences with paren- theses, so that the thread of sense pui-sues a tortuous cour&e^ and we are engulfed in the serpentine most completely. Iff chesterfield's letter-writkil ** John says (and I dare say he is right) that (had ho l[no\ini tt; before) ho' would (had not the weather prevented him, and an illness from which he was then suffering, wid from which I»e is only just recovering, though Dr. Emetic told him ha could not be about for six weeks) have gone over to the marshes (only that the frost was so severe, and his pony was laid up at the farrier's with a tooth-ache, and besides he could not face the east wind), and he would have bought the sheep at onco.'' Just imagine that your pen is an arrow Or javelin, and that it is to be hurled directly to some chosen mark, and youiwill soon acquire the art of plain speaking, without parenthesis, or twaddle, much to your own rejoicing and your reader's relief. Some ludicrous effects are sometimes produced in letters, by the neglect of the writer to pay attention to the antece- dent. That is to say, you must write the present line in ac- cordance with what has gone before, and not mix your sentences together, so that it shall be difficult to understand to what any particular remark is intended to apply. Thus we read an advertisement in a New-York paper, announcing that a blue gentleman's cloak wo^ lost at the railroad depot, and any person giving information of it, or if stolen, ' the con- victed person, shall receive five dollars reward. But to make it intelligible, regard must be paid to the antecedents, name- ly, blue is the antecedent of gentleman, but applies to the cloak, not to the gentleman, and we must therefore say, " gentleman's blue cloak." And again, as to the reward, it is not to be paid to the thief, but to the informer, and we must say, " a reward of five dollars shall be paid to any per- son who shall give such information as shall lead to its re- covery, or if stolen, to the conviction of the thief." Yet blunders of this kind are very common in the letters of uneducated persons. Mr. Bonsor will write to a whole- sale house requesting " another parcel of the patent books and eyes, and a few razor cases, sixty to the ounce." " Sixty to the ounce," occurred to him after he had written " razor 'cases," and applies to the " parcel of hooks and eyes," not, certainly, to the " razor cases." By avoiding long sentences, and summing up every state- ment or remark in one or two short ones, you will soon at- tain to elegance of composition, and from the first you will be sore to make yourself understood, and that is the first n^ don't bk verbose. n cessity of any communication whatever. Depend upon ii, as soon as you begin wire-drawing, you are getting cloudy and ungrammatical ; and if your letter wants remodeling or copying, the long sentences will puzzle you into a low fe\Tr, and if an error occurs anywhere, even if you detect it, it will be very difficult to remedy it in any sentence thai runs on to an immoderate length. But you must not make your sentences so short that they express only parts of ideas or facts ; as for instance : " It rained. So I rode. But it soon cleared up. And re- mained bright. So I got out at Broadway. And walked tho remainder of the way.'' Though such a statement may be cut up into many short sentences, it really consists of but two, because there are but two incidents to relate, " It rained, so I rode. But as it cleared up, and remained fine, I got out at Broadway, and walked the remainder of tho way." In composition, of every kind, a grammatical construction of sentences is essential, not merely for the sake of accuracy, but for elegance and clearness. The writer of an ungram- matical letter must risk being pitied, or laughed at, or sneer- ed at, according as the reader may be influenced in the pe- rusal of the letter. Yet, though grammatical accuracy is 60 desirable, it does not follow that a person cannot write a respectable letter without first going through a course of grammar. As we can only here advise you to make your- self as competent as possible in that useful department of knowledge, it remains with yourself to pursue it or not, ac- cording to your inclinations ; but the plain confession must he made, that, without a sound knowledge of grammar, the -writer of a letter can never rise above mediocrity. In the absence of such knowledge, we beg to impress upon you the necessity of paying attention to the members and gen- ders of nouns and pronouns, and to the persons of verbs. Be careful to avoid confounding the singular with the plural ; as, " These was mine, and they was his, but we changed, and that's how I come to have them." If you are in doubt in writing such a sentence, just reflect how you make the same statement V7ith the tongue, tlien adopt the same for the pen, and your sentence will reiwi. 18 chesterfield's letter-writef " Those were mine, and these ^^ere his, but we made an ex change^ and hence I came into p>8ses8ion of thoae." A little qniet reflection will often serve you well, even if you are unacquainted with the rules of grammar.* You might write, or in conversation say, " I was going along the street, and who should I see but the fellow himself, and I whispered to Jenkins, ' That's him.' " Now, a little use of the reasoning faculties will enable any one to detect the in- accuracy of this much-used phrase, " That's him ;" for it is evident at first sight that that is an impersonal pronoun, but him is a personal pronoun, and hence they cannot be used in conjunction. To say " That is the man," would be correct, because we do not then use a personal noun or pronoun at all. In the same way it would be incorrect to say, " 1 that tell you this," because thatj as already stated, cannot apply to the pronoun /, and we say, " I who tell you this." What are called demonstrative and relative pronouns most frequently occasion difficulty to the uninitiated. This re- fers to an object near the speaker, that to an object distant from the speaker. T/iese is the plaral of this, and those is the plural of that. They remain the same in every variation of person, gei\der, or case. Hence we say, " This man and these boys whom you see here." In reference to time, this is applied to the present, and that to the past and future ; as, " This is an age of wonders, that age was distinguished for its feats of arms — that time 19 Dot yet come." Who, which, and that, are employed in relation to some person or thing in a sentence, and the person or thing so re- ferred to is called the antecedent ; as " The man who spoke to you produced the letters to which I refer, and amongst them the one that 1 wrote." A difficulty is sometimes expe- rienced as to the respective uses of that and which. Who and that may be employed with reference to the three persons J, thou, and he, in both singular and plural ; but which should be used only in reference to a noun in the third person, singular or plural. But perhaps the words was and were, which are parts of the Verb to be, are the least understood of any in our lan- * See "Live and Learn," or 1000 mistakes in speaking and writirg oo»» «»fteicK and Fitzgekald. i'rice 50 cents. GKAMMATICAL BLUNDERS. 19 giiage. An uneducated person will write or say, " If I wcs going, and you was coming ;" and sometimes those who have noticed that educated persons use these words, somewhat pe- C'lliarly fly to another extreme, and say, " I were about to giiy." When such an utterance is made before a grammar- hiii, who has a slight love of the ludicrous, it has a tendency to make him explode, so very comical is that were when so placed. Was belongs always to the singular number, and were to the plural ; as, I was, thou wast, he was, we were, you were, they were. The verb also takes the form of were in any conditional case, so that whenever it is precceded by if you will bear in mind that was is a sign of vulgarity and ignorance. If I were, if thou were, if he were, if we were, if you were, if they were. SPELLING. Rules for spelling words cannot be given here, and the dictionary mast be your guide whenever you are in doubt. To spell a word incorrectly is not always a proof of the writer's incapacity ; for, in the manuscripts of eminent schol- ars, instances of the kind frequently occur — the result of hurry and madvertence. But there are some kinds of bad spelling that enable us to distinguish between the careless- ness of the scholar and the blundering of an ignorant writ- er ; for instance, the confounding of the comparative as for the past tense of the verb to have. Yet there is nothing more easy of comprehension than the difference between " He has the book, and it is bound in the same way as yours." The first implies action — the action of possession ; the second, comparison. How distinct and unmistakeable , and yet how often we see a neatly written letter, in which tlic writer a.sk3, " as he told you so ? " or, " as it happened ? " Words which have the double 1, or m, or n, are very com- mon, and are frequently misspelt. Fortunately a very good rrle can be given for the guidance of the letter writer. '\Vhen you are in doubt just pronounce the word aloud, and notice where the accent falls, and place the doul)le consonant in- stead of the single one, if the accent fails on the syllabjo preceding it. For instance ; if the word befallen were pro- oouDced bef'alen it would be spelt with oue 1 ; but as Mie 20 CHESTERFIELD S LETTER-WRITER. accent falls on the second syllable — befallen — the double i is correctly used. We might fill a page with examples, but prefer to state the rule only, and leave the reader to note the instances in the dictionary, or call them to mind by the aid of the mem- ory. The rule is but little know^n, but is none the less valuable on tLat account. Words in which the compounds ie and ei occur, afford a ' further instance of the necessity for a rule, and fortunately we can give one : but its value will depend on the person's accuracy of pronunciation. In order to impress this rule on the reader's mind, we must beg him or her to remember that whenever ei or ie oc- curs in German, the second vowel has its full vowel sound ; for instance, Liebig is pronounced Leebi'g, and Bleiter, Blr- ler; ill each case the second of the twc vowels has its full sound, and the first remains mute. Now, apply this to Eng- lish words in ie and ei, and you have the key at once to the mode of spelling them. The w^ord fiend is pronounced feend, and hence you put the i first because it is mute. But nei- ther and either are pronounced ni-ther and i-ther ; and the proper way to spell them, therefore, is to put the e first, the e being mute. We believe that both these rules will prove useful to many who are a little bit learned in literary mat- ters, and as far as we know, they have not been given be- fore. Our reading has not been limited, b'lt we have never seen such rules laid dow^n for spelling in the case of double consonants, and the digraphs ei and ie. Capitals should be cautiously used in letter-WTiting. We should certainly not confine the writer of a letter to the rigid rule observed in printed iiteratu"e, because an import- ant word may sometimes be graced with a capital which, in a printed form, would begin with a small letter. But an in- discriminate or even frequent use of capitals, is a proof of the plebian origin and ignorance of the writer. The name of a person or a place should always be commenced with a capi- tal, and every fresh paragraph should commence with a cap- ital ; beyond this, there is little need fur their use — strictly Sf)eaking none. • Ifalic letters are employed to diGtingiiish the words of a foi'eign Ian guage that may be introduced into a t>entence, or to denote that those of o\y CMcn. tlu^.s (lisrin.^T'ii'^l'^'d, are particular'y e-Mphctii- and expressive. Ti-o ItA'.ic oiiwiu tt-r wnb iuvcrjtvnl ar.ti ir.irod;'cot.i It AMiva M;i'Mt»:i6, t PA KAO RAPES AND PUNCTUATION. 21 eelebiated Venetian printer, In 1501. The Italic words In the Sacred Bcrlptures are such as have no corresponding words In the original Ilcbre-^ or Greek, but were added by the translators, to complete the sense, &o. In tfri/zi??!'/. It is customary to underline such words as wouid be Itali- cised in printing. Paragraphs. — A letter which runs on like a stream, with- out stops, and with no division into paragraphs, is as ridicu- lous a thing as one in which every other word commences with a capital letter. But you may find a difficulty in breaking your matter into separate paragraphs, and, in your anxiety to do the thing properly, may break into two or more por- tions, that which should not be broken at all. But if yot bear in mind that paragraphs bear the same relation co written compositions that heads do to a sermon, and act? and scenes to a play, you will perceive at once that every paragraph should contain within it the complete relation of an incident, or an important part or division of a relation of an incident, or a distinct statement of some kind, having no relation to the statement which follows, and which lattei will properly form another paragraph. Pay a little atten- tion to the manner in which paragraphs of books are ar- ranged — this, for instance — and you will see that there is no rule as to the length of a paragraph ; it may consist of one or two lines only, or of a hundred, but it must have a dis- tinctness, and to some extent a completeness of its ow^o Lady writers are very much at fault in this particular ; they hurry on from one thing to another, from James's cold to Betsey's fever ; then to the fashion of bonnets, or the preva- lence of hats ; thence to weddings that have happened, and to weddings that are about to happen ; and then to inquir- ies of all kinds, and replies to inquiries that have honV ad- dressed to them ; and the whole of such separate and distinct matters are strung together, sometimes without stops, but very often indeed with no division into paragraphs. Yet nothing can be more simple, for the matter readily separates itself into portions, if it be carefully scanned, and it wiU Boon be discovered that this necessary and proper division may be accomplished without the help of a professor, or » C'jisultation of blue stockings. PUNCTUATION. " PxmoTTTATiON Is tbo art of dividing a written composition, by oertafn marks, to denote the different pauses wUicb the snase and eonstructlon require. 22 CHESTEnFIELD'S LETTEK-WKITER. " The marks used in punctuation are, tli« comma (,''r tlie 'lemicolon (;>, the colon (: \ tlie period or full point (.), the vote of admiracion (!), and . the note cf interrogation (^:). "A comma, wliich Is the shortest pause, Is used to separate those parts of a senter ce, which, though very closely connected in sense, requiie a pause belNs een them. Two or more substantives, adjectives, &c., in)U'o- diately succeeding each other, require a comma after each; a,^. She i% young, handso^ne^ and agreeable ; bat, if connected by a conjunction, the comma is not required ; as, lie is a xciseand learned man. When an address is made to a person, the noun requires a comma before and after it; as. Attend, child, to what I say. Mar;y adverbs require a comma before and after them, a.s perhaps, TioweDer, indeed, besides, dtc. ^^ A semicolon is used for separating those members of a sentenco •jehich require a longer pause than a comma, and need some other member to render the sense com|)lete ; as, A clownish air is hut a slight deject ; yet, trifling as it is, it is sitfficient to render a man disagreeable. Or it is used to distinguish those members of a sentence, which, though less closely connected than those separated by conmias, are not so indepen- dent as those distinguished by a colon ; as. The path of truth is a plain cund safe path ; that of falselwod is aperplexcing maze. " A colon is used when a member of a sentence is complete Jn itself but is followed by some additional remark or illustration ; as, There is no mortal truly wise and restless at the same time : wisdom is the repose of minds. When several members of a sentence hav<% been distinguished by semicolons, they require to be separated from the last clause by a colon ; as, Education is necessary to enlighten the. mind ; it is of great importance in the business of life ; but it is indisjieJi^ahle for rising in the world : therefore improve in it tmth the utmost assiduity. When an example or quotation is introduced, it generally preceded by a colon ; as, 'The Scripture says: J/e that trusteth in his own heart is a fooV The o^lon is also adopted for the purpose of marking or dividing such portions of the service of the Protestant Episcopal ' hurch as are chanted, separating each of them into two parts; as, With his o^cn right Jiandy and wtih his holy arm : hath he gottenhimself the victory. "The period, or fidl point, denotes that a sentence is complete • a9» Uonor the King. It is also placed after all abbreviations ; as, P.S. Post' ^cript. A.D. Anno Dmnini. " A note of admiration is used when some violent emotion of the lOind is expressed ; as, O, virtue I how amiable thou art 1 " A note of interrogation is placed at the end of every question ; as, Whither shall we go f Shall we go home t " There are several other marks used in writine and printing which require illustration. The dash i — ) is used when tlie sentence is broken off abruptly; as. To die — to sleep. The vareiithesis ( ) is used to enclotje some part of a sentence which may be omitted without injuring the sense ; as. We all {including Mr. A.) went to Boston. The apostrophe ['] ta used cither as a sign of the possessive CHse, or to shorten a word; as, Mary's frock, tho' for though, ne'er for never. The caret [a] is useYritten reproof, or a disparaging commuL' ication to a friend has been the cause of embittering many a couple of lives ; and it may be safely said that that should never be written whioh we may, within possibilit}'', wish hereafter to recall. We are all fallible, and may, therefore, be very much in error when we feel very sure that we are in the right ; and that consideration should be sufficient to make any sensible man or woman pause before giving vent to anger, with the pen in the hand. But exceptions to such a rule may occur ; an admonition, a reproof, nay, even an accusation, may sometimes be neces- sary, and a letter be the only possible mode of conveying it. JjCt good sense and good feeling determine how the case shall be, and let it at be the same time borne in mind, that what is once written cannot be unwritten, and that greater caution is necessary in using the pen, than in using the tongue. THE BUSINESS LETTEE Must be pithy, short, and go straight to the point. Pleasantry is not advisable, except between persons who are very intimate, and even then it is best to keep friend- ship and business as much apart as possible. " The first thing necessary," says Lord Cliesterfield, " in writing letters of business, is extreme clearness and perspi- cuity ; every paragraph should be so clear and unambig- uous that the dullest fellow in the world may not be able to mistake it, nor be obliged to read it twice in oinler to understand it. This necessary clearness implies a correct- ness, without excluding an elegance of style. In business, an elegant simplicity, the result of care, not of labor, is required ; nor does it exclude the usual terms of politeness and good breeding, but, on the contrary it strictly requires them." A writer, after iterating Lord Chesterfield's re- marks, continues : " The one principal and pervading object of all communications on matters of business is to convey the thought which the writer is wishing to impart ; that is understood to be so important, that it alone is to be attended to, and all interfering purposes rejected. And, if this inten- tion be closely and freely followed, a beauty will spring up in ^Jbe very plaiimcss that will thereby be reached ; for **jere 32 chestirfield's letter- writer. ia a rare and essential elegance abiding iu the barrenness of mere and perfect perspicuity." In writing, be particular, and clear, in arranging the subjects of your letter. Some directions relating to this and appicable to epistolary correspondence in every variety, will be found in the immediately succeeding Section. Com- mence with the most important subject of your letter. To every distinct subject, or point, allot a distict paragraph. Long and involved sentences, or sentences composed of sev- eral members, must be avoided. For the sake of perspi- cuity, a careful attention to punctuation is necessary. At the close of your letter, a short recapitulation of its leading contents will be found useful : to your correspondent, in the first instance ; to yourself, in the second, as matter of refer- ence in your copy. Be prompt and punctual in your replies. A recapit- ulation, at the close of a reply, is yet more desirable than in a first direct communication. ** In this, however," observes Anderson, in his Practical Mercantile Correspondence, " merchants have also another object, which is to render their letter-books, as far as possible, a history of their tran- sactions',: {(^v the advantage of ready reference after a lapse of years, and for production in court, with the better effect, iu case of litigation. Accordingly, every letter should speak, as it were, for itself, and give all the necessary par- ticulars of the transaction to which it refers." All Letters should be dated ; that is, they should present, at either the head or conclusion, the year, the day of the month, and the name of the place whence written. The date of a letter is often of great importance in reference — • especially in affairs of business. For the same purpose, it is a good plan also to place the date on the upper left hand corner of the letter when folded, preceding the super- Bcription. Letters on business should be dated at the head— thsit is, on the first page ; together with the name and address of Mie parties written to, thus : " New York, April 30th, 1857 "Messrs. James M. Harris & Co., Philadelphia. ** Gentlemen — " We beg to inform you,' ' Slc The object of adopting this raovie o^ aadrcss is, in IHS BTTSINESS LETTER. 83 provide against accident, or an attempt at fraud, by tea ing off the superscription of the letter, or destroying the envelope in which it might have been placed. In such a case, it would be difficult to prove to whom the letter might have been written ; consequently, in a court of justice, its production would be defective as evidence. All letters, received in a manufacturing, mercantile, or trading establishment, should, when read, be carefully folded and endorsed, with the name of the correspondent, the date of writing, and the date of receipt ; with a blank left for the date of the answer. For example : " New York, March 10th, 1857. " Williamson, Thompson, & Co. " Received, March the 12th. " Answered, ." ^fany persons, not much accustomed to use the pen, have a notion that if any occasion happens to call for a letter on any business matter, that they must at once compose a tedious rigmarole of statements and explanations ; and, find- ing it difficult to make up what they consider a " capital letter," they defer writing until the occasion is perhaps gone, or at least until the business in hand has suffered considera- ble injury by the delay. But if they would divest their minds of all ideas of literary composition, and just write down what they would say, and in the fewest possible words, Buch persons would find business correspondence agreeable rather than irksome. Thus a manufacturer of wooden bowls writes to his wholesale house, to ask for an advance of cash, and commences thus : "Sir, * " I am sorry to inform you that in consequence of not being able to complete an order, which was sent mo from some parties at Albany, and which ought, and which I, indeed, promised to have completed and forwarded by the freight train, on Wednesday last, but which I have not sent on account of being so short. I could not go into the market for wood, and therefore could not complete the order, and am obliged reluc- tantly to request of you to be so kind .as to oblige me with aa advance by cash of one hundred dollars, on account of the orders I have in hand for you, and which I shall be able, if you can do me the favor of obliging me with one hundred doliarg. r4 chesterfiei.d's letter-writes. ( f forwarding without fail on Tuesday next, and ehall remalr 5 Dur humble and obedient servant. Turner Woodenhead.* When his employer receives this he will look hard at it tl rough his spectacles, read a few lines, then put it dowm and take it up again, growing testy as he proceeds, and at last toss it across the desk to his clerk, saying, "Hero. Crampton, I can't read Woodenhead's letter ; just make it out and answer it ; it's as bad as having to read the supple- ment to a newspaper to have a letter of his come in." Would not our friend tremble to see his request for one hundred dollars on account handed over to a junior clerk, perhaps to be forgotten for a day or two, or explained to the principal in such a careless way as to insure for it either no reply at all or one in the negative ? Let him, therefore, write a short, plain letter, thus : ** 9 Ann Street, New York, July 27, 1856. ** Sir, — I find myself much pressed for cash, and have some or- ders from a house at Albany, which should have been completed by Wednesday last, besides the goods which are in progress for you. As I have not ready money sufficient for the purchase of wood, will you kindly advance me one hundred dollars on account ? That would enable me to complete and deliver the goods I have in hand for you, by Tuesday next, as well as those referred to for the house at Albany. As the case is an urgent one, I have no doubt you will confer such a favor on yours abedien4;ly, Turner Woodenhead. "To Mr. Longpurse, Pearl Street." iVTien friendly matters are mixed up with business, such ifcS an invitation to tea, and an order for soap ; or a proposal for a drive, and a request for payment of an accourrt ; the several matters should be stated in distinct paragraphs, not jumbled together, as if the ideas were first shaken up in a hat, and then turned out in a heap, according to the caprices of chance. State your business proposals plainly, and your friendly greetings kindly, and let friendship always take precedence, else it will appear that your invitation or com- pliment is a mere make-weight or an afterthought intended to preserve a profitable connection ; though, as a rule, the less business and friendship are mixed together, the better for all paaies. THE BUSINESS LETTER. 2» The following arc some capital examples of Bii&ine«ja Letters : To a Merchant proposing to open an Account. Cincinnati, Feb. 7th, 18—. Sir, — My friend, Mr. ofB street, has spoken cf you in terms of high recommendation ; so much so, indeed, that having found reason to withdraw my orders from my late , I am disposed to open an account with your firm. You will therefore nmch oblige me by forwarding a list of prices, together with other necessary particulars as to yo¥Lr manner of doing business. I am, Sir, Your obedient servant, To Mr. . ( ). Do. to a Publisher's Firm. Chicago, May 3d, 18—. Gentlemen, — As our business is rapidly on the increafee, we are desirous of opening an account with your house, blJ phall feel obliged by your transmitting us a trade list of your publications, as well as some of your general catalogue* Our usual terms of settlement are as follows {here state them)< Should they be agreeable to your house, the favor of an e*i - attention to our request will oblige, Gentlemen, Your obedient servants, ( & — To Messrs. & Co. To a Firmj seeking a Clerkship. Broadway, April 4th, 18—. Gentlemen, — Perceiving by your advertisement in tho of , that you are in want of a clerk, 1 beg to enclose testimonials, and venture to hope that from my previous ex perience in tlie line of business you pursue, I sliould be of some use in your establishment. My habits of life are such as to ii sure regularity in the discharge of my duties, and 1 can only assure you that, should you honor me with your confi deuce, I shall spare no pains to acquit myself to your satisfafe- tion. I remain, Gentlemen, Your obedient Sei*vant, 1o Messrs. . ( \ 3$ CHESTERFIELD'S LETTER-WRITER. A Tesiimonial on heludf of a similar applkant. Albany, April 3d, IB — . GtNTLEMEN, — Finding that Mr. is an applicant for ft fcituation as clerk, I beg to say a few v/ords on his beLaif. During the years he was in my employ, I found him diligent and conscientious in the discharge of his duties, re- markably clever in correspondence, and correct in the manage- »aient of my books. Indeed, nothing but my retiring from business would have induced me to part with him, and 1 firmly believe that both his personal character, and his thorough knowledge of business, will render him a valuable acquisition to your firm. I remain. Gentlemen, Yours most obediently. To Messrs. . ( ). To a Correspondent J requesting the payment of a sum of Money New York, April 12th, 18—. Sir, — Although the balance of the account between us hag been of long standing in' my favor, yet I would not have ap- plied to you at present, had not a very unexpected demand been made upon me for a considerable sum, which, without your assistance, it will not be in my power to answer. When I have an opportunity of seeing you, I shall then inform you of the nature of this demand, and the necessity of my dis- charging it. I hope you, will excuse me this freedom, which nothing but a regard to my credit and family could oblige me to take. If it does not suit you to remit the whole, part wil3 be' thankfully received by Y^'ours very respectfully, To ( ) Delaying the Payment of a Debt, Charleston, June 15th, 18 — . Gentlemen, — I much regret that circumstances prevent my t>eing as punctual as is my wont, and hope you will kindly renew the acceptance j^ou hold of mine for another three months. The failure of a person largely indebted to me, and lome other losses in business, have caused me severe incon- venience, and I really must depend upon your leniency as on© means to enable me to recover myself. I remain, Gentlemen, Your obedient and faithful servant, lo Messrs. • ) THE BUSINESS LETTER. m AnotJier on the same subject. Memphis, Jan. 14th, 13 — . 8iR, — I must really beg of you to defer the pettlemeDt of ? >ur account till after the middle of next month, when I shall bo in a condition to meet your demand, liegrettinjs: that cir. cumstances prevent my being more prompt in attending to your wishes, I remain, Sir, Your obedient servant, To Mr. . f - — ) A^ioiher on the same subject, Louisville, August 7th, 18 — . iSiR, — ^Your account, amounting to , has indeed re- mained some time unsettled, but disappointments of a pecu- niary nature, to which I need not more particularly allude, will prevent my liquidating it for some time to come, perhaps ttiree months, but the payment will not exceed that period. I fom the pressing language of your application, I am dispofted to think that a promissory note for that time may be of service to you, in being negotiable; if so, I have no objection to gi^« it, and will be prepared to honor it when duly presented. I am, Sir, Your obedient servant To Mr. . ( -) A Gentleman desi/ring the Renewal of a Note of Hand^ Milwaukie, August 3d, 18 — . Sir, — My note of hand, (or accojjtance,) will be due on th# 28th instant, but I regret to say that, owing to circumstances beyond my control, I fear that I shall not be able to meet it. May I therefore request that you will grant me the indulgence of a short renewal of (six weeks), when I doubt not of my means to take it up. Your compliance with this wish wiL confer an obligation upon, Sir, Your very obedient servant. To Mr . (- ), Proposing to open an Account, San Francisco, Nov. 30th, 18— . Hentlfjow, — Having succeeded to the business formerly carried on by Messrs. >, we are desirous o^ entering into i 4 t8 chesterfield's letter-writbr. egotiation with your house for the supply of — -. We may ; \cntion that busitiebs is happily very brisk at preeeut, aud ("lat, having iiiaierially increased our connection in bacramento, ( Oregon, «&c., we flatter ourselves that we could be very in- Bviimiental in increasing the sale of , We are encouraged tc i»ake this application from knowing that you were formerly in the practice of transacting business with Messrs. in thii way. We have, in the mean time, forwarded through Messrs. — <- a pretty extensive order for your , by which you will po' ceive the nature of the articles most in demand. V/e would suggest, in the event of your acceding to our application, that a supply of your be sent to us, say- every six weeks or two months, to the extent of about ^500. We mention this sum at present, but hope, when the trial has been made, and we find ourselves in a position regularly to supply our country agents, to have it extended to twice or three times that amount. Mr. , who returns to your city in the course of a month or two, will give you every satisfaction as to our name and position, but in the meantime we beg to refer you to Messrs. , or to Messrs. & . We trust the order we have now sent will be executed wiih all speed, and on presentation of the invoice to Messrs. , they vvili give you a cheque for the amount, as well as advice by what vessel to ship the goods. We are, Gentlemen, Yours obediently, ( & ). To Mesi<>s. & Co., New York. FAMILY EPISTOLARY CORRESPONDENCE. All intercourse between parents and children, whether'' colloquial or epistolary, should be free and confidential. The heart, more especially of the child to the parent, should be laid open without reserve. There ought to be no half confidences. No friend can feel so deeply interested for another's welfare as fathers and mothers for that of their own offspring. Few are so well qualified to advise — to make allowance for the errors of youth — to judge with candor — to censure with mildness — to point out the right path, or to reclaim from the wrong one. There is no subject upon which either son or daughter can have even a chance of consulting another with so much advantage as a parent. Father* and sons, mothers and daughters, should FAMILY EPISTOLARY CORRESBONDENCE. 8^ be the warm, ingenTious, peculiar friends of one another ; blending the strongest ties of nature with the fondest affeo tions of the heart — improving and strengthening, expand- 'ing, and heightening each. On present feelings and circum- stances, on future pi ospects, whom can the son consult with BO much propriety as his father — the daughter as her mother? In cases which admit of the combined consultar tion-T-and there are few that do not — the advantage is more than doubled to the child. Next to the confidence between parents and children, ought to be that between brothers and sisters — the tender- est, holiest, most sympathetic affection. If I may so express myself, I love to see fathers and sons, as brothers — mothers and daughters, as sisters ; and this affection may exist in full force without in the slightest degree infringing the relative duties between parent and child. To create, however, where it may not exist natu- rally, the habit of ingenuousness and confidence in a child— to foster and to cherish it where beautiful promise is given from the birth — the parent should act with corresponding frankness and affection. Virtue elicits virtue as surely as its opposite engenders vice. To the neglect or unconsciousness of this great truth must be ascribed much of that coldness, reserve, and estrangement which too often subsist in even well-disposed families. It is an old saying — and, like many other old sayings, it requires to be accepted with due qualification — that " fami- liarity breeds contempt." In my view, this does not hold good amongst well-regulated minds. On the contrary, I consider that perfect respect is compatible with much fami- liarify. Form, ceremony, and etiquette, unless held in wise subordination, are very chilling in the social and affectionate intercourse of life, especially amongst relations and intimate friends. Formerly, it was the practice for pupils to be taught, when adressing their parents in the epistolary form, to commence with the words, " Honored Sir," or " Madam," ** Honored Parent," &c. Much better, I conceive, and without abating one iota of veneration or respect, to say, " My dear Father," or " Mother" — or, " My dear anci ' honored Father" — ** My dearly beloved Mother," &c., ac- cording to circumstance and feeling. However, as, in the present Section, I ara writing for the Instruction and benefit of youth, upon their entrance into #0 chesterfield's LETTER-VfRITER. * life, rather than for children still under the discipline of school, enough has been said upon this head. Forms are, indeed, of comparatively little importance. "If you reside at a distance from your family — parents,' brothers, sisters, dear and estimable friends — write to them frequently, and at stated periods ; weekly, fortnightly, monthly, as circumstances may allow ; but-— be punctual. Under the new postage system, no excuse can be admitted on the plea of e^^pense. By the establishment of periodical times for writing, you know when to write, and when to ex- pect a letter ; all fruitless expectation, anxiety, and expense, will thus be avoided. Correspondence between friends and relations is, in every respect, more valuable, interesting, use- ful, and pleasant to all parties, for being regular and punc- tual. In such cases you need not be parsimonious of words or sentences. Avoiding mere verbiage, express your feel- ings in the same easy, cheerful manner, that you would use, were you at home and entertaining the family circle with the incidental converse of the day. By this plan you will enjoy the additional advantage of cultivating some of the sweetest and noblest virtues of the human heart. But do not get into the worse than useless habit, of corresponding with those from whose communications you derive neit-her pleasure nor profit." Examples, here, are hardly necessary ; yet I have a fe^v before me, which, for their intrinsic merits and character- istic propriety, are well entitled to perusal. The first is a penitential letter from a youth, who had unwisely abandoned his home, relinquishing higher prospects, and adopting the stage as a profession, to his uncle. The writer was Elliston, afterwards celebrated as a comedian ; the gentleman ad- dressed, Dr. Elliston, Master of Sidney College, Cambridge Sir, — However dismayed I find myself in this undertaking. and however ashamed I feel at my conduct towards you, yet 1 know the attempt to gain your forgiveness is a duty. I havo taken courage, therefore, to proceed Fearful as I have rea- son to be of your anger — how shall I address you — or what can I allege ? I can see no middle state hetw^een that of the beloved nephew (as I have a thousand proofs to know I once was) and the discarded Robert Elliston. If but a faint ray of hope would break in to lead me to suppose I shou\l ever re- gain your confidence and esteem, I should then indeed bo happy. Of my transgressions, let me confess, I am truly deeply sensible. . \ FAMILY EPISTOLARY CORRESPONDENCE. 41 UnfortuTiHtely for me, the profession I have chorsn by no means meets with the concurrence of even my general triends, and the world at large has hitherto held it in the light of con- tempt. • What was the iiifutuation wliich first prompted me to Bwerve from the path of wisdom and rectitude wiiich you had pointed out, I know not. H«d I followed that, I might have made a more reputable stand in life; at any rate, moving in a circle more honored than that into which I have thrown my- eelf. But it is not for me to ag-gravate my misfortunes ; my task should rather be to reconcile them. If I succeed in re- moving any portion of your anger, 1 more than repay myself; if not, it is at least a trifling evidence of my affection, though repaying not a thousandth part of what I am indebted to .you. Mitigate, I pray you, your resentment. My most ,,Ranguine hopes do not hint at sudden, or perhaps at any period, entire forgiveness. Suffer me to write to you now and then — to feel that I am addressing you — to relieve my aching heart, by as- suring you how I love and honor you. May I entreat, too, you will not let my mother participate with me in your anger. 1 declare to you she is blameless in respect of this step 1 have taken. Imperfectly as I may have written, I still venture to send you this sincere confessi'^u ; but no attempt at extenuation of my conduct. Your justice I must ever fear; in your mercy I may have hope. Your affectionate and contrite nephew, R. W. EllistoJt. York, April 6th, 1792. My second example, of a character widely diifcrent, now for the first time meets the public eye. It is a letter* written from a young man to his brother, after the loss of their pister ; and, in allusion tc a little difference which had unfor- tunately existed, it is distinguished by a naturalness, a pathos, a correctness and purity of affectionate sorrow and regret, which cannot but be deeply felt. " My dear Brother, — I should earlier have acknowledged the receipt of your letter, but, at the time when due, I heard that you also w^ere standing in the shadow of that cloud which oad darkened our tsland home ; and, in such cases, filenee is yi'ten far more acceptable than any word-offering can be. For a reason akin to this, I will not here say much of that sorrow which we must mutually feel. I can grieve, and that deeply the sad necessity which crushed, in the very bloom of existence, the being of one so admirably natured, both for the adornment <2 chesterfield's letter- writer. 4nd enjoyment of life. Yet, as death was the only escape from all the giief, and pain, and disease which haunted her lat«r years, I must rejoice that it at last overtook her. She is now where no echo frgm this world can reach her ; and rests well, I hope,- after her most weary pilgrimage. The kindly mention you make of hei is an earnest that she was not for- patten ; and with you, I regret those circumstances which made you, for a season, comparative strangers. What they were^ I never rightly understood, nor would it answer any purpose now to inquire. All I can say is, that I ever found the dear lost one a creature of most perfect disinterestedness, and can call to mind no action of her life which bore the impress of caprice or selfishness; 1 therefore conclude, that, whatever the facts were, a very strong impression must have existed in her mind, that slight had been intended ; how generated, of course impossible for me to say. But you must bo well aware, that the morbid fancies of invalids too frequently imag^- ine offence where none might have been intended. A few words would probably have explained all. Be it, however, as it may, you are not one, I know, to think much of this now ; and, if there were blame, it will be more charitable and humane to lay it to the account of the living than of the dead. *' It was her intention to acknowledge the receipt of your marridge cards. Therefore, think of her as if that intention had been really executed ; as though the olive-branch had been actually extended. Inability and death alone prevented her pcace-oliering from reaching you." We give the following real letter as a very pleasing model and specimen of style : " College, Tuesday Evening " My dear Mother, " Though I am now sitting with my back towards you, tet I love you none the less; and, what is quite as strange, I oan see you just as plainly as if I stood peeping in upon you. [ can see you all just as you sit round the family table. Tel' fl\e if I do not see you ? There is mother, on the right of tht iable, with her knittuig, and a book open before her ; and anon she glances her eye from the work on paper to that on her needles; now counts the stitches, and then puts the eye on her book, and starts off for another round. There is Mary, looking wise, and sewing with all her might, now and then stopping t^ iive Sarah and Louisa a lift in cetting their lessons, and trying FAMILY EPISTOLARY CORRESrONDENCE. 43 to initiate them in the myeteriee of geog^raphy. She is on the left side of the table. TheVe, iii the background, is silent Joseph, with his slate, now uiakii g a mark, and then biting his lip, or scratching his head, to see if algebraic expression may have hidden in either of those places. George is in the kitchen, tinkering his skates, or contriving a trap for that old offender, the rat, whose cunning has so long brought mortifica- tion upon all his boasting. I can now hear his hammer and his whistle — that peculiar sucking sort of wliistle, which always indicates a puzzled state of brain. Little William and Henry are snug in bed, aad, if you will just open their bedroom door, you will barely hear them breathe. And now mother has stopped, and is absent and thoughtful, and my heart tells me &he is thinking of her only absent child. "VVho can he be ? Will you doubt any more that I have studied magic, and can see with my back turned to you, and many a hill and valley between us ? " You have been even kinder than I expected, or you prom- ised. I did not expect to hear from you till to-moiTow, at the earliest. But, as I was walking to-day, one of my class-mates cried, 'A bundle for you at the stage-office ! ' and awav I went, as fast as the dignity of a sophomore would allow me. The bundle I seized, and muffled it under ray cloak, though it made my arm ache, and, with as much speed as my * conditions ' would permit me, I reached my room. Out came my knife, and forgetting all your good advice about ' strings and frag- ments,' the said bundle quickly owned me victor, and opened its very heart to me ; and it proved a warm heart, too, for there were the stockings (they are now on my feet, i e., one pair), and there were the flannels, and the bosoms, and the gloves, and the pincushion fnun Louisa, and the needle-book from Sarah, and the paper from Mary, and the letters and love from all of you. I spread open my treasures, and both my heart and feet danced for joy, while my hands actually rubbed each other out of sympathy. Thanks to you all for a bundle, letters and love. One corner of my eye is now moistened, while, I say, 'Thank ye all, gude folks.' I must not forget to mention the apples — * the six apples, one from* each ' — and the beautiful little loaf of cake. I should not dare to call it, * little,' if it had not brought the name from you. The apples I have smelled ©f and the cake I have just nibbled a little, and pronounced it to be * in the finest taste.' " Now, a word about your letters. 1 cannot say much, for I have only road mother' s three times, and Mary's twice. Those parts which relate to' my own acts and doings greatly edify me. Kight glad am I to find that the spectacles fitted mother's eyet iA chesterfield's letter-writer. fo well. You wondered how I hit it Why, ha^e I not been told frora ray very babyhood, ' You have your mother's eyes'/' And what is plainer than that, if I have her eyes, I can pit'k out glasses that will suit them ? I am glad, too, that the new ook is a favorite. I shall have to depend on you to read for DO, for here I read nothing but my lexicon, and, perad^entur.e, dip into mathematics. John's knife shall be forthcoming, and the orders of William and Henry shall be honored, if the apothecary has the pigments. " I suppose the pond is all frozen over, and the skating good. I know it is foolish, yet, if mother and Mary had skated as many * moony ' nights as I have, they would sigh, not at the thought, but at the fact, that skating days are over. Never was a face more bright and beautiful than the face of that pond in a clear, cold night, under a full moon. Do the boys go down by my willow still ? and do they still have the flag on the little island in the centre, where I use-d to rear the flag staff once a year? I was going to tell you all about college. But when 1 think I will begin, pop! my thoughts are all at home! What a place home is ! I would not now exchange ours for wealth enough to make you all kings and queens. " I am warm, well and comfortable ; we all study and dull fellows, like me have to confess that we study hard. We have no genius to help us. My chum is a good fellow ; he now sits in yonder comer, his feet poised upon the stove in such a way that the dullness Kcems to have all rim out of his heels into his head, for he is fast asleep. " I have got it framed, and there it hangs — the picture of my father ! I never look up without seeing it, and I never see it without thinking that my mother is a widow, and that I am her eldest son. What more I think I will not be fool enough to say : you will imagine better than I can say it. " Your gentle hint, dear mother, about leaving my Bible at home, was kind ; but it will relieve you to know that I left it designedly, and, in its place, took my dear father's from the upper shelf, in our little hbrary room, and, what is more, 1 read it every day. '* I need not say, writb ! write ! for I know that some of vou will at the end of three weeks. But love to you all, and much, too. I shall tell you of my methods of economy in my uext. " Your affectionate son, 4&c." Can any of my readers d^^ubt that a letter like the above would do much to alleviate the anxiety of the mother, aud add greatly to the comfort of the family ? Every sou FAMILY EPISTOLARY CORRESPONDENCE. 40 can show such attention, and at the same time keep his own heart warm with the remembrances of home and kindred. It will add to your ease in letter-writing, and it will culti- vate some of the noblest and sweetest virtues of which tha heart is susceptible. Our next specimen is a letter written by the elegant and accomplished Lord Chesterfield to his son* " Dear Boy ; " Your letters, except when upon a given subject, are exceedingly laconic, and neither answer my desires, nor the purpose of letters: which should be familiar conversations be- tween absent friends. As I desire to live with you upon the footing of an intimate friend, and not of a parent, I could wish that your letters gave me more particular accounts of yourself, and of your lesser transactions. When you write to me, sup- pose yourself conversing freely with me, by the fireside. lu that case, you would naturally mention the incidents of the day, . as where you had been, whom you had seen, what you thought of them, etc. Do this in your letters: acquaint me sometimes with your studies, sometimes with your diversions ; tell me of any new person and characters that you meet with in company, and add your own observations upon them ; in short, let me see more of you in your letters. How do you go on with Lord Pulteney ; and how does he go on at Leipzig ? Has he learn- ing, has he parts, has he application ? Is he good or ill- natured ? In short, what is he ; at least, what do you think of him ? You may tell me without reserve, for I promise secrecy. You are now of an ftge that I am desirous of beginning a con- fidential correspondvjuce with you ; and, as I shall on my part write you very freely my opinions upon men and things, which I should often be very unwilling that anybody but you or Mr. Harte should see ; so on your part, if yuu write me without reserve, you may depend upon my inviolable secrecy.- If you have ever looked into the letters of Madame de Sevigne to her daughter, Madame de Grignan, you must have observed the ease, freedom, dud friendship of that correspondence ; and yet I hope and believe, that they did not love one another bette than we do. Tell me what books you are now reading, eith.o by way "^f study or amusement ; how you pass your evening! whei »i home, and where you pass them when abroad." id chesterfield's letter-writer. John Randolph of Roamke, to hia Nephew, " Bizarre, Sept. 11, 130^. *» My dear Theodore : " I thank you for your letter which I eceived post before last. Present my respects to Dr. Haller nd tell him I will be obliged to him to procure you shirti?, handkerchiefs, and such other things as as you may stand in need of. " We do not say 'scarcely nothing,'' but anything. Give my love to Buona, and tell him that I shall forward his letter td his brother immediately ; but tell him also that Si^ tolerable long letter is intolerable English. He should have used the adverb (tolerably) instead of the adjective. I wish that, instead of a fictitious correspondent, you would address your letters — I mean those which Dr. Haller requires you to writo weekly — to some one of your friends and acquamtance. It would take off from them the air of stiffness which now char- acterizes them. If Buona had been describing Richmond to his mother or myself, he would never have introduced it with, ' I beg leave to wait upon you ;' an awkward exordium, which . even Mr. Expectation, of Norfolk, would not approve. You see, my sons, that I make very free with your performances : but do not let this discourage you. Write your letters just as you think them, and they will be easy ; and any inaccuracy which creeps in may be afterwards corrected. " The partridges are so forward that we have begun to shoot nearly a month earlier than usual. Carlo is an »^xcellent dog for bringing birds after they are shot, but not so ^ood for find ing game. I wish you were with me, my sons, to enjoy the sport. Your skill, my dear Theodore, would make amends for my clumsiness, and dear Buona would hold Minik'-^n, who now runs away from uncle whenever she has an opportunity. But thank God, my children, you are more profitab'y engaged. This alone reconciles me to the loss of your society. I hopf to see you both about the last of this month. *•■ Mother has had an ague, and Sally very sore fivgers. " Your friend and kinsman, " John RAsrooLrH. " P. S. Do not make a flourish under my name in the super- scription of your letters. It is not customary to do so. " I got a letter to-night from Mr. Bryan : he and my iiUle godson are well, but Mrs. B. has the fever. " My dear Buona, this is your birthday ; you are now entering on your 12th year. May you see ninny happy returns of this anniversary. The success of my wish will materially deper \ my child, on the use which you make of the present tira*j.' FAMILY EPISTOLARY CORRESPOXDENCH. 41 Here is a charming letter from Hon. William Wirt to his D aught r. " Baltimore, April 18 1822. " My dear Child : " You wrote me a dutiful letter, eqiiAlI) honorable to yo ir head and heart, for which I thank you : and when I grow to be a light-hearted, light-headed, happy, thought less young girl, I will give you a quid pro quo. As it is, you must take such a letter as a man of sense can write, although it has been remarked, that the more sensible the man, the more dull his letter. Don't ask me by whom remarked, or I shall refer you, with Jenkinson, in the Vicar of Wakefield, to San- coniathon, Manetho, and Berosus. " This puts me in mind of the card of impressions from the pencil seals, which I intended to inclose last mail, for you, to your mother, but forgot. Lo ! here they are : inese are the best I can find in Baltimore. I have marked them according to my taste ; but exercise your own exclusively, and choose for your self, if either of them please you. " Shall I bring you a Spanish guitar of Giles' choosing? Can you be certain that you will stick to it 1 And some music for the Spanish guitar ? What say you ? *' There are three necklaces that tempt me — a beautiful mock emerald, a still more beautiful mock ruby with pearl, and a still most beautiful real topaz — what say you ? " Will you have either of the scarfs described to your mother, and which — the blue or black ? They are very fashionable and beautiful. Any of those wreaths and flowers ? Consult your dear mother ; always consult her, always respect her. This is the only way to make yourself respectable and lovely. God bless you, and make you happy. " Your affectionate father, "Wm. Wirt/' Hon, William Wirt to his Wife, '* Baltimore, December 27th. 1822. " The image of your pensive face is on my heart, and contin oally before my eyes. May the Father of Mercies support you, and pour into your bosom the rich consolations of his grace, and preserve and strengthen you for your family ! What can we do, if you suffer yourself to sink under the sorrow that afflicts you? Let us bear up, and endeavor to fulfill our duty to our surviving children; I^et us not overcast the morning ot 18 chesterfield's letter- writer. their lives with unavailing ^loom. by exhibiting to them contin- aally, the picture of despair. Trouble comes soon enough whatever we do to avert it; and the somber side of life will eaily enough show itself to them without any haste on ourpai-t to draw aside the curtain. Let them be unusually gay and happy as long as they can ; and let rs rather promote than dis- sipate the pleasing illusions of hope and fancy. Let us endeavor to show religion to them in a cheering light ; the hopes and promises it sets before us ; the patience and resignation which it inspires under affliction ; the peace and serenity which it spreads around us ; the joyful assurance with which it gilds even the night of death. " May God bless you, and breathe into your bosom peace and cheerful resignation. Dr, Fratiklin to his Wife. " Easton, Nov. 13, 1756. «*My dear Child; " I wrote to you a few days since, by a epecial messenger, and inclosed letters for all our wives and sweethearts, expecting to hear from you by his return, and to have the northern newspapers and English letters per the packet; but he is just now returned without a scrap for poor us ; so I had a good mind not to write to you by this opportun- ity ; but 1 never can be ill-natured enough, even when there is the most occasion. The messenger says he left the letters at your house, and saw you afterwards at Mr. Duche's and told you when he would go, and that he lodged at Honey' s, next door to you, and yet you did not write ; so let Goody Smith give one more judgement, and say what should be done to you. I think I won't tell you that we are all well, now that we expect to return about the middle of the week, nor will I send you word of news — that's poz. " My duty to mother, love to children, and to Miss Betsy and Gracy, etc., etc. " I am your loving husband. "B. Franklin. " F. S. I have scratched out the loving words, being writ . kftste by mistake, when I forgot I was angry." LETTERS OF CONDOLENCE. 49 LETTERS OF CONDOLENCE. In our epistolary correspondence, there are perhaps no iettcrs so difficult to indite with due effect as those of con- dolence on the death of relations or near and dear friends. Yet no difficulty, no experience of painful sensations, must be allowed to deter the writer from the performance of one of the most sacred duties entailed on our sublunary state. liCtters of condolence, from the sympathising pen of friend- ship, fall upon the heart of man like the gentle dews of evening in the parched earth. In the composition of such, there must be no high-flown words or expressions, no straining after effect. If heart speaks not to heart, in the simplest, most soothing language of nature, words will, to the sufferer, prove cold and unimpressive — worse than use- less. Be it ever borne in mind, that, to the afflicted, to the mourner in spirit, " there is only one true source of con- solation — that we shall meet those we love in another and a better world, where the wicked cease from troubling, and where the weary are at rest. This is the hope our blessed religion holds out to us, and its realization will amply repay our sorrows here, whilst the anticipated joy blunts the edge of present grief." The subjoined epistle is from a lady — a young lady, but high in literary fame — to a father, after the loss of an only and much beloved daughter. It has not before been sub- mitted to the public eye. To mention the writer's name would shed luster upon a work of infinitely more importance than this. " My dear Mr. , "I should bjjve immediately replied to your melancholy note to the lltb inst., had I not been considerably indisposed since the period of its receipt. I pray you to believe how very sin- ceiely I sympathise with you on the loss which you have just sustained ; although I am perfectly aware that all verbal condo- lence 19 vain, under the circumstances. Nevertheless, even my age, I have become so much woni and harassed by the trials of the world, that I cannot refrain from looking upon that eariy rest, ^(^hich is at times granted to the young, as a blessing which the survivors are totally unable to appreciate. Th( re is a purity and a holiness in the apotheosis of those who le»' 1 us in their brightness and their beauty, wliich instinctively le*' us to a persuasion of their betitUudc lluvv uuinyteinptft 5 00 chestekfield's etter-"w biter. tions have they not escaped ! How many faults and errora havo they not avoided ! How many sorrows have they not been spared ! We dare not, then, mourn for them ; we can only weep for ourselves; and these very considerations should rob our tears of all their bitterness. " May these and still more efficient consolations be yours, my dear sir ; and may you find comfort in the conviction, tha« those whom you have loved on earth will be prepared to wei come you in heaven. " Ever, my dear Mr. " Very faithfully yours." Not less beautiful, not less pious, not less exalted ia religious feeling, are the following extracts from a letter^ addressed to the same party, and on the same melancholy occasion as the above. They also are by a lady, one of the noblest and most estimable of her sex, and of the first rank and reputation in the literary world. " Bristol, , 1843. " Dear Mr. , " Your mournful letter (brief, though so full of a father's heart) has found me h^re. I can well ' weep with those that weep ! ' therefore my tears flowed over your few lines, impart- ing to me your last trial. Alas ! the little envelope which a few months ago conveyed to me the united bridal cards, * tied by their silken cord,' did not bring any address to them or to you ! Hence, until this sad announcement has thus reached m«, 1 had no means of showing you before, the sympathy ol * rejoicing with those who do rejoice.' *' But we have been too old friends for you to doubt that the weal or woe of yourself, or whatever was dear to you, would always be objects of the sincerest interest with me. * • « # « * • " When you have mental strength enough to do it, it will niford me a sacred satisfaction to hear from you again ; tc read, from your own pen, that the God of Comfort has been, and is with you in your great trial ; for my experience of hig graciousness to me, under mine, convinces me that all who wHist in his consolations will receive them. " My bodily health is weak, very weak ; but my mind, and my soul's strength in Him, he upholds \ " Praying the same for you, in the blessed Name of onr Lord and Savior, 1 remain, " Dear Mr. , ' Ever your sincere old friend^ LETTERS OF CONDOLENCE. Si Announcing to a Lady the Death of her Sister. "Newport, May 18th, 18—. " My dear Madam, — ^Yoii have long been aware of tlu painful and serious illness under which your dear sister has been Butfering ; but, perhaps, you have not been fully sensible of it* dangerous tendency, and of the fears always entertained by those around her, that its termination would be fatal. Would that our fears had been without foundation ; but I ara reluctantly compelled to tell you that our. worst anticipations have been too mournfully realised, your poor sister having expired (last evening)^ though, it is consolatoi'y to state, with little bodily Buflfering. tShe had borne her affliction with the fortitude Df ft ('hristian, and retained her faculties to her last moments, yield- mg her breath in full peace of mind and convinced that she was leaving this earthly state for a better and a happier in another world. Your dear mother is in such a state of pros tration, that she finds the task of writing to you too painful foi tier feelings, and has expressed her wish that I, the intimate friend of your late sister, should be the communicant of the sad intelligence. She desires me to say how much your pres ence would help to console, not only herself, but also you father, and the whole of the family. They hope, therefore, ^ see you by the earliest opportunity, and request me to send yov their best love. " Accept, dear Madam, my sincerest condolence iipder thi^ Bad bereavement and affliction, and " Believe me to remain, " Ever yours since .'ely, "To Mrs. ." " . A Letter of Condolence on the Death of a Husband, " Washington, June 18th, 18—. ** My dear , — If any consolation can be afforded urdei 80 heavy an .affliction as you have just experienced, it must come from a higher power than mine. Your own strong sense of religion, and of our duty of resignation to a power that ia beyond (Hir control, and a will that is ever beneficently directed towards our good, must uphold you in this most bitter trial. I well know how painful the well-meant, but often mistaken, f-^iciousness of friends may be on such occasions, or I should have hastened to your side, auc* iought to assuage the pangs of your over-worn spirit. " It were a melancholy pleaucre to dwell npon the virtn<*!i and av^cuiiipr.shraeiits of your late beloved liusband ; but the 52 CHESTERFIELD S LETTER-WRITER. tubject Is too painful for me, and, in the confidence that he is in tbe enjoyment of an everlasting happiness, such as, my dear , even you could not have realised to him on earth, I hope that jou will support your spirits, both for your own and your children's sake, and look forward to that brighter and happier world in which we shall go to those who cannot return to ua " God comfort you, "Dear * Your affectionate and sorrowing friend, « To Mrs. - The Same, on a Child's Death. • Brooklyn, July 5th, 18 — . "My Dear , — If anything could have caused me especial pain, it was the news of your sad bereavement. ITov I remember your dear child ! Affectionate, lively, and intelli- gent, ever displaying a thoughtfulness beyond his years, and holding forth hopes of happiness in after times which will scarcely bear reflection. "It has, indeed, been a heavy blow, and I scarcely know how to talk of consolation under so bitter an affliction. But think, my dear , of One who * careth for all,' who loves little children beyond others, and think of the bright and never- ending future life of that dear child, whose spirit has passed away but for a brief period, whose soul only waits in heaven to hail the mother from whom he has been parted. " I can say no more ; human consolations are weak and poorly. May a higher power do that which 1 cannot ! " Ever sincerely yours, «* To Mrs. . " " . The Same, on a Reverse of Foiiune. " Baltimore, Jan. 3d, 18 — . •' Dear , — I am truly pained to hear of the melancholy change in. your circumstances. I had hoped that your husband '8 position and connections would have prevented the p 63 fperlmpa uniieceHsary) luxuries of life, and whose Jetermina. tion to economise will make poverty seem less poor, and whose affection will insure him that comfort which the wealthiest -position, without undivided affection, would wholly fail t^ lealize. " Nor must you look at matters as hopeless. Althougfc changed in your means, you have not lost in character. Youi true friends look upon you with the same eyes as formerly, and for the shallow and insincere you oup^ht not, cannot, care. Be- Bides, a favorable change must result from your husbanri's persevering and consistent efforts; and, by the exorcise of economy, and the patient submission to a few privations, you may ere long fully retiieve the position you have already ad- duced, and which legitimately belongs to you. " That success and happiness may soon spring out of the present unfavorable condition of things, is the hearty ani earnest wish of, " Yours, ever affectionately, " To Mrs. ." " ^- LOYE, COURTSHIP, MARRIAGE, ETC. If friendship be capable of waking sensations so warm so strong, so elevated, in the human heart, what may not bt/ expected from love — the liveliest, the noblest, the most soul- inspiring, soul-absorbing of passions ! "Who hath not ovrned, with rapture-smitten trduxe, The charm of grace, the magic of a name ?" I speak not of that love by which common minds are too frequently influenced, and which is little more than mere animal instinct ; but of that unselfish, tallowed, undying affection which regards its object as a being of a higher order, and for whose interests it is at all times ready and willing to Bacrifice its own. Under the influence of such a passion, no creature, man or woman, can ever be guilty of a mean or a base action. Love, true love, is the inspirer, the creator of all ou^ noblest virtues. A gentleman is struck with the appearance of a lady, and h desirous of her acquaintance, but there are no means within his reach of obtaining an introduction, and he has nc friends who are acquainted with herself or her family. In this dilemma there is no alternative but a letter. There is, besides, a delicacy, a timidity, a nervousness ic love, which makes men desire some mode of communicatior 64 chksterfield's letter-whiter. mther than the speech, which, in siich cases, too often fail* them. In short, there are reasons enough for writing — but when the enamored youth sets about penning a letter to the object of his passions, how difficult does he find it ! Uott aiany efforts does he make before he succeeds in writing one to suit hira ! It may be doubted whether ever so many reams of paper nave ever been used in writing letters upon all other sub- jects, as have been consumed upon epistles of love ; and diere is probably no man living who has not at some time written, or desired to write, some missive wliich might ex- {Aam his passions to the amiable being of whom he was enamored ; and it has been the same, so far as can be judged, in all the generations of the world. Affairs of the heart — the delicate and interesting prelim- inaries of marriage, are oftener settled by the pen than in, any other manner. To write the words legibly, to spell them correctly, to point them properly, to begin every sen- tence and every proper name with a capital letter, every one is supposed to learn at school ; still we give such instruc- tions in another part of this book. For a love letter, good paper is indispensable. When it can be procured, that of costly quality, gold- edged, per- fumed, or ornamented in the French style, may be properly used. The letter should be carefully enveloped, and nicely sealed with a fancy wafer — not a common one, of course, where any other can be had ; or what is better, plain or fan- cy sealing-wax. As all persons are more or less governed by first impressions and externals, the whole affair should be as neat and elegant as possible. Speaking of love letters generally, Moore, in his " Life of Lord Byron," observes, that " such effusions are but little suited to the public eye." Probably not ; and therefore they ought not to be subjected to the gaze of the public. * It is the tendency of all strong feeling," he adds, " from dwelling constantly on the same idea, to be monotonous ; and those often-repeated vows and verbal endearments, which make the charm of true love letters to the parties concerned in them, must for ever rendc^r even the best of them cloying to others.'" Without stopping to discuss the philosophy of this passage, I will hazard the assertion that it applies accurately only to such love letters as the writer is most likely best acquainted with ; " thing's that are of the earth. LOVE, COURTSHIP, MAKRIAGE, ETC. 66 eurtliy." Have lovers nothing to talk or to write about but Cupids, and Veuuses, and flowers, and hearts and darts ! I would not ask for a better criterion by which to test the moral and intellectual powers of a man tlian his love letters, premising, always, that the party addressed be an object capable and worthy of inspiring a genuine passion. No subject can be too exalted for the pen of au intellectual lover. How sweet and beatiful is the affection portrayed in the following passages of a letter from a gentleman to a lady with whom he was on the point of being united in " marriage : " Tromsoe, May 28, 184-. *• If you were but here, ray Alette ! I miss you every moment, while I am preparing my dwelhng to receive you. I am continually wishing to ask you, ' How will you have this. Alette ? ' Ah, my ever beloved, that you were here at this moment ! You would be enraptured with this * land of ice and bears,' at the thought of which I know you inwardly shudder. * * * * " * But the winter !' I hear you say, * the summer may pasa well enough, but the long, dark winter ! Well, the winter, too, my Alette, passes happily away with people who love each other, when it is warm at home. Do you remember, last summer, how we read together at Christiansand, in the morning paper, this extract from the Tromsoe Gazette 1 We have had snow-storms for several days together, and at this moment the snow-plow is at work, opening a path to the churches. The death-like stiiiness of night ard winter extends over meadow and valley ; only a few cows wander about, hke ghosts, over the snowy tracts, to pluck a scanty meal from the twigs of the trees that are not yet buried in the snow.' The little winter sketch pleased me, but you shuddered involuntarily at that expression, *the death-Uke stillness of the night and winter, and bowed your sweet dear face, with closed eyes, upon my breast. Oh! my Alette, thus will it be when, in future, the terror of the cold and darkness seizes thee, and upon my breast„ listening to the beatings of my heart, the words of my love, wiit thou forget these dark images of stonn and gloom? * * * Close thine eyes, slumber, my beloved one, while I watch over thee. Thou snait one day look upon night and winter, and own that their power is not •0 tearful. Love, that geyser of the soul, can melt the x^ 66 chesterfield's lettek-weiter. and snow of the most frozen regions. Wherever its waini springs well up, there glows a southeni climate." The aboYG comes before us in the form of fiction ; ye« every line bears the vivid impress of truth and nature. 1^ is from " Strife and Peace," one of the charming novels of Frederika Bremer, a Swedish author of contemporary celebrity. The subjoined passage, from another of that lady's works, " The H Family," presents an equally beautiful picture of aSection in wedded life. It is from the letter of a newly- married lady, the wife of a clergyman, to her friend : " Beata, do you know what I pray, morning and evening, ay, tiourly, from the bottom of my heart ? ' O God ! make me worthy the love of my husband, grant me the power of making him happy.' And I have received such power, for he is (so he says and so he seems) very hap})y. If you knew how well he looks, how gay ! This is because I take so much care of him ; then he does not dare take so little care of himself as before ; and then he works no more m the night; he has weaned himself of this; and so he thinks and writes (he acknowledges himself) more freely and powerfully than before. Then I am very careiiil not to inter "upt or disturb him when he is in his studies, writing or read- mg. Oil! when I would just get a glimpse of him (he is so beautiful, Beata), I steal in gently and play him a little trick. [ place a flower upon his book, kiss his brow, or do some such ching, and go quietly back again, and when I turn round to ihut the door, I always get a glance Irom his eyes that follows oie as though it were stolen." One scrap more— the last letter of a lady, on her death-bod to her affianced husband : •* My dearest, ever-beloved Charles ! " Long has my spirit struggled, but in vain, against a threat- ened dissolution. The hope that I might yet be yours, that ■ our fairy visions of bliss might be realized, has sometimea given a new and momentary impulse to the lagging current in my veins ; but I feel that my heart is broken— nature will no longer perform her office — I am sinking daily and hourly into the grave. Charles, my beloved ! when these lines shall meet your sight, this yet * warm mass ' will be ' a kneadd bless yon, dearest Fanny, and believe me, wnth most respectful and affectionate remembrances to your parents, and all friends. " Your ever affectionate and devoted ** To Miss ." On receiving a favorable answer, " Flushing, October 16th, 18—. ** Dearest Miss {o'»' use Chrhtlan name). — Words cannot ex press my delight on finding your note on my table last night. The toils of the day were over, but how delightful was it to find a letter — and such a letter ! — from one whom I may now hope to hail as the companion of my whole future life ! The weight taken off ujy mind by the candid and gentle confessioH of on(5 whose love seemed too gieat a happiness to hqpe for is S8 chesterfield's letteei-writee. beyond iescription. To-morrow I shall hasten to the presence of her from whom I hope I may never henceforth be parted, but J. could not retire to rest without making one feeble at- teiT' t to express my delight at finding that hopes so flatter- ty I jislvq not been in vain. " Beheve me, dearest, " Your devoted and happy lover, * To Miss ." A Lover's quarrel. Mount IIolly, July 3, 18—. " My dear , — It is with pain I write to you in aught that can seem like a strain of reproach, but I confess that your conduct last night both surprised and vexed me. Your marked approbation of the attentions paid to you by was as obvious as your neglect of myself. Believe me, I am in no way given to idle jealousy — still less am I selfish or unmanly enough to wish to deprive any girl on whom I have so firmly fixed my afiections, of any pleasure to be obtained in good society. But my peace of mind would be lost forever, did I believe that I have lost one atom of your affection. "Pray write, and assure me that you still preserve your un- divided afiection for " Your devoted but grieved " To Miss ." " ." Explaining away an apparent slight. "August 5th, 18—-. " My dearest ^ — How grieved am 1 that you .should think me capable of wavering in my affection towards you, and inflicting a slight upon one, in whom my whole hopes of happi- ness are centered ! Believe me, my attentions to Miss were never intended for anything more than common courtesy. My long acquaintance with her father, and my knowledge of her amiable character — as well as the citcumstance of her being a comparative stranger to the 's, — such were my sole reasons for paying more attention to her than I might otherwise have done. " Pray rest confident in the belief that my affection for you is as unchanging as my regret is great, that I should ever have given you cause to doubt it, and beheve me, "Dearest , * Yours ever sincerely and devotedly, LOVE LETTERS. 5S To an eirhj companion and playmate. " New York, July Cth, IS—. •* My Dearest Emmy, — For I can only think of you-- woman us you now are — as the * little Eminy ' of the many Dappy days of childhood we have spent together — can you make up your mind to a very awful confession? In plain words, I love you as heartily now as ever, and, if I may judge from our last n'j^ht's meeting after so long a separation, you have not quite Lost the remembrance of your old playfellow. But, joking apart, time* has done much for both of us — for you, in making you all that can be desired by man as the object of his love and trust — for me, in enabling me to provide a home for her who has ever been dearest to me, and whose image has never faded from my memory amidst the varied exertions of a preliminary professional career. " And now, my dear Emmy, think you well whether you can transfer that affection, as a woman, which, in your girlhood, was my chiefest delight. We shall meet on at 's and then, perhaps, my heart may be gladdened by a belief that there is something in first loves.' " Eagerly awaiting our meeting, ** Believe me, " Your affectionate old playmate and new lover, "To Miss ." " A Lady absent on a Visitf to her Husband, " Albany, July 22d, ^8— . " My dear , — Tn imagining what your thoughts and feel ings are likely to be during my absence, I have only to call to recollection what my own have been on like occasions, when you, dear , L*vve been absent from home. How has my re- membrance of you then been interwoven with each minute of my» existence ! and how have I counted the hours, till that had ariived which brought me intelligence of your welfare ! So justly do I appreciate your attachment that I feel convinced this feeling must be mutual, and I picture to myself the smile of delight with which you will receive my present letter. I know you will experience real satisfaction in hearing that I Btili enjoy my health, and, in fact, never was better ; and that the hospitality and kindly attentions of so far from dimin. Ishing, seem rather to increase. Thej make it, indeed, their Efudy to surround me with comforts, and are constantly de rising some fresh plans which they thhik may conduce tc my 60 chesterfield's letter-writfr. amusement. Be assured, therefore, my dear , that, with the exception of missing your cheering company, and that of our dear chiklren, I am as happy and as lively as you, the fond- est of all my well-wishers, could desire me to be. * Having said this much of myself, let me now observe that I am most anxious to receive a letter from you ; for I long t<> hear how you and the children still continue in regard to health, and what fresh occurrences have taken place since you wrote last. At present, I have no reason for supposing that my ab sence from home will be prolonged beyond the — th, on which day I hope again to be with you. Give my kindest love to the children, and " Believe me, • *' My dear , " Your ever affectionate wife, "To , Esq." " To a Ladi/f complaining of her coolness. "Monroe Place, June 10th, 18—. " Dear , — How often have I passed my late conduct in review before me, endeavoring to discover by what word or act I could have given you offence. Vain, however, has been tho attempt, for the offence which I have given must have been totally inadvertent, and could never have sprung from any in- tention to have given you even a moment's uneasiness. But that by some means I have had the misfortune to incur your displeasure, has been but too evidently indicated by the change of your behavior towards me — a change from the kindness o. an attached friend, to the cool indifference of a distant ac quaintance. Of late, when in your presence, I have been i^ny times upon the point of asking you upon what occasion, and % w^hat means I have displeased you ? But as constantlj hav«^I needed the courage to do so, and mj voice has failed me,; whenever I have endeavored to make the attempt. ' Id the hope of being eased from a painful state of anxiety, 1 write this letter, and trust that you will give me some expla nation on the subject referred to, either by an answer in your hand-writing, or through yom* ovsti lips, at our next meeting. But whatever that reply may be, of this be assured, that my esteem for you can never know a change, and that you will ever live as a cherished object in the breast of him who no\v subscribes himself, " Yours most affectionately and sincerely, " To Miss ." " LOVE LETTERS 61 T From a young Man, avowing a passion he had entertained fd a length oftime^ and fearful of disclosing it,* « New York, Feb. 13th, 18—. " Dear Miss , — It is with no small degree of appre- hension, as to the manner in which you may receive tho following avowal, that I take up my pen to address you ; but I have so long struggled with my feelings, that they have now got the better of my irresolution ; and throwing aside all hesitation, I have ventured, although alarmed at my own bold- ness in doing so, to lay open my whole heart before you* For months past I have been oppressed with a passion that has en- tirely superseded eveiy other feeling of my heart — that passion is love — and you — you alone are the object of it. In vain have T endeavored to drive the idea from my mind, by every art that I could possibly think of: in vain have I sought out every amusement that might have a tendency to relieve my mind from the bias which it has taken, but love has taken that firm hold of my whole soul, that I am unable to entertain but one idea, one thought, one feeling, and that is always yourself I neglect njyself, my business, and can neither hear nor see any one thing, but you bear the chief part therein. Believe me, I am sincere, when I assert, that I feel it totally impossible to live apart from you ; when near you, I am in paradise — when absent, I feel in torture. This, I solenndy assure you, is a true description of the feelings with which my breast is con- tinually agitated, and it remains only for you to give a reality to those hopes, or at once to crush them, by a single word , say but that word, and I am the happiest or the most miser- able of mankind. " Yours, till death, *'ToMI«8 ." " . To a Lady. "TUNBRIDGE, July 3d 18—. ** Dear Madam, — I have been so harassed with love doubt, distraction, and a thousand other wild and nameless feelings, ♦ On {^rounds of plain common sense, we snould not recommend this letlcJ for imitation ; bytptople wiU send such letters 6 62 chesterfield's letter-writer. eincc I had the happiness of being in your company, tliat 1 have been unable to forujj^j^je^nne reflection, or to separate events from tiie feelings that 'accompanied ihem— in fact, 1 ave been totally unable to bring my thoughts into anything ko regularity, for they are so entirely mixed up with the dea of yourself, that the business of thn world, and the pur- uits of amusement and pleasure, have been entirely forgotten in the one passion that holds undivided empire over my soul. J have defeiTed from day to day penning this confession to you, in order that I might have been enabled tc have done so with some degree of ease and calmness ; but the hope has proved fruitless. I can resist no longer, for to keep silent on a sub- ject which is interwoven with my very existence, would be death tome. No, I am unable to do so, and I have, therefore, determined to lay open to you the sufiering of my heart, and to implore from you a restoration of that peace and happiness which once were mine. You, my dear Miss , are alone the cause of my unhappiness, and to you alone can I look for a relief from the wretchedness that has overwhelmed me. The fervent passion that devours my soul for your adorable self, can only be allayed^ by the declaration" that I am loved as fervently in return. But dare I ask sc much purity, so much sweetness, mildness and modesty, to make such a declaration ? — I know not what I say — but O ! my dear Miss , be merciful, and if you cannot love me — say, at least, that you do not hate mo. Never could I survive the idea of being hateful to that Angelic being, whose love I prize more than existence itself. Let me then cling to the idea that time may accomplish that which, I fain hope, a first impression has done resuming, unless a fatal pre-engagement exists (a thino^ I dare not trust myself to think of), that you will comply with my request, seeing that my designs are perfectly pure and honorable. I remain waiting with the utmost impatience for your favorable reply, "Dear Miss , " Your devoted servant till death, From a yorm^ig Lady, in answer to the proposal of a Gentle man who lutd met her the previous Evening, " Westchester, July Cth, J8— . " Sir,— Although it is the highest compliment that can be paid Oiir «ex, to r:^ceive offers calculated to» ensu^-e t kstin^ LOTE LETTERS. €3 ftcquarntaiice, I must still complain of t. />redpitate^ character of your address to one who, till last nipic, was a total strange) to you. Without wisliing to say anything harsh, I must con fess that I do not feel any motive to entertain so hasty a pro posal. and have felt bound to lay your letter before my parenta as I could not think of concealing from them any corresponJ ence of such a description. " Trusting that you will see tnis in its proper light, " I remain, " Sir, ** Yours respectfully, •^To — , Esq." " . Another more favorable, " Philadelphia, Sept. 18th, 18—. " Sir, — Although your letter of this morning comes upon me in a strangely unexpected manner, I feel that your intimate friendship with my kind hostess, Mrs. , perhaps excuses a precipitation which could scarcely be justified on ordinary grounds. At the same time, I cannot think of giving a sanc- tion to further attention on your part, without consulting Mrs. — — on the subject, and I have, therefore, placed your letter in her hands. I cannot deny that I feel some pleasure in having elicited sentiments from you, which appear to be founded in honorable good feeling, but mt'«?t for a time, beg of you to excuse me giving you any further b"mction to youj addresses. *'I remain, " Sir, " Your sincere well-wishe/ »n ^ ^aend, "To , Esq." • . On receiving a second Letter, after frequent T,'ieei r.^s, "Belmont, Dec. J 5th, iO— . "Dear Sir,— It is impossible fcr u?-^ to deny that you- ^^ duous, but delicate attentions to me of late have connru^e** h favorable impression I had formed, bu v»hich the 8uddenuc>^^ of your address rendered it imj^MJssiMb I could avow. ri>u* BA CHESTERFIELD- S LETTER-WRITER. whole conduct has been that of a gentleman, and Mrs. '» representations are so strongly in your favor, that I feel it would be false modesty in me to disclaim a feeling of strong regard for yourself. Let us not, however, be too hasty in our conclusions— let us not mistake momentary impulse for perma- nent impression ; let us seek rather to know more of each other, ,to study each other's tempers, and to establish that sincere eeteem which should, which must be the foundation of every deeper feeling. ** I have written to my father on the subject, and, as I anticipated, he has laid me under no restraint, save of cautioning me not to be hasty in giving that promise or ac- cepting it from another, which may involve the happiness of a whole life. Meanwhile, Mrs. begs that you will accept a general invitation to her tea-table, to which arrangement, I can assure you, no objection will be made by ** Dear Sir, " Yours very truly, "To , Esq." " To an acquaintance of long standing, "Chelsea, October 15th, 16- -, *-My Dear Miss , — I have so long enjoyed the happint^ of being received as a welcome guest at your respected parent\ house, that I write with the more confidence on a subject of most serious importance to my welfare. " From constantly meeting with you, and observing the thous- and acts of amiability and kindness which adorn your daily life, I hav? gradually assv>ciated my hopes of future happiness w4th the chance of possessing you as their sharer. Believe me, dear Miss , this is no outbreak of boyish passion, but the hearty and healthy result of* a long and affectionate study (>f your disposition. It is love, founded on esteem ; and I feel perFuaded that your knowledge of my own chai'acter will lead you to trace my motives to their right source. '* May I, then, implore yen to consult your own heart, and, ehonld I not have been mistaken in the happy belief that my feelings are in some measure reciprocated, to grant me permis- sion to raenticn the matter to your parents. " Beileve me, dear Miss , " Your ever sincere, b t at present anxious friend, "ToM'ss ." " * CONCLDDINa aiNTS. §tt To a ymng Lady from a young 1 adesman, *' New York, Feb. 16th, 18—. " Dear Mrss , — Since I met with you at , my mJiid has been constantly filled with the remembrance of the pleasant moments passed in your society. My business has been improving of late, and, in point of prosperity, I have much cause to be thankful. But I feel that there are nigher dudes in life than can be fulfilled by a man in his single state, and I am anxious to find a companion for my future life. Such a companion, dear Miss . I venture to believe I have found in you, and my earnest hope is that you may be willing to ap- preciate the affectionate regard of one, who, however humble in his present position, has every desire to elevate that position for your sake. "Without attempting to use fine language, or make a parade of sentiment, I hope you will accept these lines as conveying the plain and honest sentiments of one, who, in anxious expectation of your reply, *' Remains, " Dear Miss , " Your most devoted servant, •* To Miss ." " . Neither my plan nor my space admits of " instructions for the choice of a wife," or of a husband, or for forming or avoiding " prudential " marriages. What I have given, however, will suffice to show that lovers, whether single or mairied, are not under the necessity of writing nonsense — of inditing nothing but the sickly sentimentalism which Mr. Moore so philosophically regards as constituting the < of amatory epistles. CONCLUDING HINTS. Some few general remarks on very simple matters — which are, nevertheless, of much importance in the transactions of every-day life — may be advantageously appended to the Bpecinions already laid before the reader. 'J'liere is great judgement required in using " Sir," or " Dear Sir," especially in addressing a person of superior wordly position to yourself. Always reflect wliether you are on such terms with the person to whom you write as to M chesterfield's letter- writer. warrant your using " Dear," or *' My dear," before the more retiring phrase of address. At the same time, the use of " Dear Sir," even towards a stranger, is considered a graceful manner of addressing aD i iferior ; but in responding to this, it would be preferable to avoid too much familiarity at first, A golden rule in sucb matters is, that nothing is lost by too much modesty, while nothing gives so much offence as officious familiarity. " Reverend and dear Sir " is a frequent address from one clergyman to another, with whom he is supposed to have little acquaintance, beyond that of being in the same profes- sion. " Dear Sir " is afterwards adopted, when one or two letters have passed between the parties. " Dear Sir " is frequently used in transactions between gentlemen and their tradesmen ; but such use must be guided by the good sense of both parties. It must also be consid- ered that the position and character of tradesmen render them fully on a par with professional or independent per- sons. We are all equal in this free country. " Honored Sir," though somewhat antiquated, is still fro quently used, either in addressing a pei'^on in very advanced years, a parent, a person to whom we have been under great obligations, or in an appeal from a poor person to a rich and powerful one. Nearly the same niles apply to letters addressed to per- sons of the other sex. Never send a note to a person who is your superior, unlesa it be upon a very slight and indifferent matter. In asking ft favor of an intimate friend, address him in the first person. Do not take bad writing for freedom of style. Whatever pleasure your friends may derive from reading your letters you have no right to suppose that they have lime for the study of hieroglyphics. Always put a stamp on your envelope at the top of the right hand corner. Always use an envelope, except for letters of mere busi ness. Fashion now demands it, and it has the advantage* of keeping the letter clean and insuring secresy. What you have to say in your letter, say as plainly a> possible, as if you were speaking ; this is the best rule. Do not revert three or four times to one circumstance, but finist) np as you go on. Let your signature be written as plainly as possible (many OONCLUDINQ HINTS. 67 misxukes will be avoidec, especially in writing ^^o strangers) and without any flourishes, as they tend not in any way ta add to the harmony of your letter. We have seen signa- tures that have besn almost impossible to decipher, being a mere mass of strokes, without any form to indicate letters. I'his is done chiefly by the ignorant, and would lead one to suppose that they were ashamed of signing what they had written. Do not cross your letters ; surely paper is cheap enough now to admit of your using an extra half-sheet, in case of . necessity. (This practice is chiefly prevalent among young ladies.) Avoid the too frequent use of French and Italian phrases. A letter thus larded is the fit production of a boarding- school miss. If you are not a good writer it is advisable to use best ink, the best paper, and the best pens, as, though they may not alter the character of your handwriting, yet they will assist to make your writing look better. The paper on which you write should be clean, and neatly folded. There should not be stains on the envelope ; if otherwise, it is only an indication of your own sloveliness. Common wafers should never be nsed, at least in general correspondence. For letters of business they are still per- mitted. Should you send a note on business by hand, be careful that the wafer is dry before it reaches the party ad- dressed. Nothing is more offensive than a wet wafer. We have seen a commercial man tear away the corner of a note in great disgust, when delivered to him thus secured. Courtesy requires that letters of condolence to a friend on the death of a relative, should be written on black-edged paper, and sealed with black wax, even should you have been unacquainted with the deceased. Give the proper address and date of writing at the head of every letter. Never assume that your correspondent knows your address so well that it is unnecessary to repeat it. Go straight to your main subject at once, whatever it may be ; for therein is the charm of all good writing. Just observe how a clever " leader " in a newspaper arrests your attention, by the very first line, or cnrtainly by the first paragraph. Avoid postscripts, for they are ugly, old-womanish y and. 68 rHESTERFrELD's LETTER-WRITER. as a rale, unnecessary. Ladies are said to write long letters having" no meaning, and to crush into a postscript the only matter of importance they have to communicate. ^J'his we cannot believe. The fair are more shrewd than they get credit for from their clumsy partners. A postscript contain- ing the pith of the letter always reminds us of a cracker attached to a dog^s tail ; the glory is at the wrong end, and the spectacle is more likely to amuse the observer than arrest the attention of his sober sympathies. Long letters ore mom easily written than short ones, for condensation requires some exercise of skill. Therefore, do not take pride in the length of your letters, as our members of the council of collectiv*-! wisdom do in their long speeches, for though both may servj^ as anodynes, or at least as soporifics, yet we do not desire compulsory repose when we read the one, or listen to the other. If you find it difficult to com- press your thought? rewrite your letter, and with a little perseverance you wi'i soon discover that a great many hereby and theres^ and wkicKs, and whats, and ?/s, and huts, besides no end of superfluous adjectives, that encumber the sense, and render many tilings more " wonderful," " extraordinary," and "unparalleled." than they really are or ever will be. In writing to a person, especially if a stranger, on your own business exclusively, and wishing to receive an answer, do not fail to enclose a stamp for that purpose. And, finally, remember that whatever you write is writ- ten evidence either of your good sense or your folly, your indnstiy or carelessness, your self-control or impatience What you have once put into the letter-box, may cost you /asting regrets or be equally important to your whole future welfare. i nd, for such grave reasons, think before ycu write, and think while you are writing. COMPLETE RULES OF ETIQUETTE, AND THE USAGES OF SOCIETT. f]Sri?EX TO COKTETSTTS. A^e for Marriage... 51 Amusement, places of 34 Ball-room Etiquette 30-31 Bashful People *. 39 Bashful Girls 50 Boy Marriages 51 Children and Dogs 47 Cleanliness 39 Confidants for Lovers 53 Conversation 18 Cutting Acquaintances 7 Dancing 22 Dinner Etiquette 29 Din»er Parties 25 Eccentricity 41 Evening Parties 17 Evening A^isits 15 French Leave 24 Games and Sports 21 Hints to Ladies 43 Invitations to Dinner 25 Introductions 6 Invitations to Parties 17 Letters of Introduction 9-10 Love and Courtship 50 Love Letters 57 Lovers' Quarrels 54 Marriage Engagements 55 • Marriage 62 Jklarriage Etiquette 63 Miscellaneous Hints 38 Morning Calls 12 Naming the Marriage Day 63 New Years Calls 48 New Years Receptions 49 Operas and Concerts 35 Politeness 5 Presents to Latlies 53 Principles of Etiquette 5 Receiving Company 15 Receiving Guests 45 Salutations li Serving Dinner 27-28 Self-Introductions 7 Selecting Dresses 44 Servants, treatment of 46 Shaking Hands 8^2-47 Shopping 34 Singing and Playing 47 Skeleton Love Letters 58-60 Steamboat Etiquette 37 Street Etiquette 32 Tattling 16 The Teeth 38 Traveling 35-48 Visiting 12 Visits of Congratulation .13 Visits of Condolence 14 Visits of Friendship 14 Waltzing < .24 ENTERED ACCORDING TO ACT OF CONGRESS in the year 1860 by Benjamin H. Day, in the Clerk's Office of the United States District Court for the Southern District of New York. P R E F A E^ Many books have been written on Etiquette and tho Usages of Society which proved to be useful and vakiable, especially to those young people whose positions did not enable them to inform themselves from personal observa- tion of the standard proprieties of social life. In view of this fact, I do not expect to present anything novel in pre- scribing rules for correct behaviour ; but shall endeavor to give, in a brief and plain manner, all the practical informa- tion that is necessary for a novice in general society to know, omitting all crude advice, and remarks on people who do not conform to the code of politeness. In a word, it is my aim to simplify the r des of Etiquette so they can be easily understood and acted upon. The Avorks hitherto published ©n this subject, though mostly large and expensive, do not go sufficiently into minor details to enable the uninitiated reader to compre- hend the various phases of polite society without a good deal of close study and attention. I havQ^ endeavored to remedy this defect, and to set forth, with the strictest economy of words, all that is necessary to know of the Msages of social intercourse among well-bred people. The utility of good manners is conceded even by those whose station or pursuits in life do not enable them prac- tically to cultivate a polite and genuine courtesy. To such people a study of the subject is necessar}^ Some of them, it is true, may have an instinctive courtesy, and will only require to know a few of the leading rules to make them- eelves equal to any occasion. But the largest class will have to examine carefiilly the whole routine to make even a tolerable appearance in society. Good manners and good morals are founded on the same eternal principles of right, and are only different ex- , pressions of the same great truths. If, therefore, you ^^'ould excel in politeness, you must first be satisfied that your morals are unexceptionable. Manners have their origin in the mind and the heart. They do not make the man, as sometimes asserted ; but the man makes the man- ners. It is true, however, that the manners react upon mind and heart, continually developing and improving the qualities out of which they spring. Young people, who just begin to be recognized as com- panions in the social circle rather than children, may study this book with much advantage. By becoming familiar with the regulations here laid down, they will avoid many errors and consequent mortifications. It is to these classes I decidate my little treatise. I do not design to preach to them a homily on immorality and ill-manners, but to tell them briefly what constitutes good manners. Books of Etiquette are sometimes useful, even to its most fastidious votaries, for reference on many occasions ; and the more plain and simple the rules are laid down in them the better they are for that purpose. Considering all these facts, I hope and think that my book will meet 9 ' favorable reception with the public ETIQUETTE AND THE USAGES OF SOCIETY. The true principles of Etiquette are to regulate your conduct towards others so as never to give offence, or cause a disagreeable feeling — never to show your temper or make a remark that you think will create an unpleasant sensation to the listener, and on all occasions to religiously refrain from gratuitous intrusions, of whatever nature. You should always show a genuine kindness of heart, cultivate a cor- rect taste, and possess such self-control as never to be rude or discourteous to any one, however far he may transgress conventional usages. Lacking these qualities, the most perfect knowledge of the rules of etiquette, and the strict- est obseiivance of them, will not suffice to make you a per- fect gentleman or lady. Politeness seems to be a certain care, by the manner of our words and actions, to make others pleased w^ith us and themselves : and the grand secret of never-failing propri- ety of deportment is to have an intention of always doing right. To some people these peculiarities come naturjii ; but most of mankind must acquire them, together with the art of behaviour, by study and practice. True politeness is perfect freedom and ease — treating others just as you like to be treated. Nature is always graceful ; affectation, with all her art, can never produce anything half so pleasing. The very perfection of elegance is to imitate Nature ; how much better to have the I'eality than the imitation ! Anxiety about the opinions of others fetters the freedom of Nature and tends to awkwardness. 6 ETIQUETTE. All your actions should therefore be so unexceptionable as to give you a frankness of character that will inspire confidence in yourself in the presence of the most exalted or venerated of yom friends. INTRODUCTIONS. It is the common custom among a certain class in the United States, particularly in New England, to introduce friends or acquaintances to everybody they may meet, whether at home, abroad, or even while walking or riding out. This is not necessary or desirable, for promiscuous introductions are not always agreeable, and very seldom serve any purpose whatever. It is generally conceded that an introduction is a sort of social endorsement of the per- son introduced ; and how wrong would it be, under such circumstances, to introduce a casual acquaintance of whom you know nothing, and who should afterwards prove to be anything but a desirable one. These remarks apply more particularly to family introductions. Young men about town are not so particular about whom they intro- duce to each other, though a habit of universal introduc- tions is a bad one, and as a general rule a young man should be as careful of whom he introduces to his friends as he is of whose note he would endorse. Ko gentleman should be presented to a lady under any circumstances, unless her permission has been previously obtained, and no one should ever be introduced into the house of a friend except by permission first had. Such introductions we know are frequent and usual, but they are improper, as any one can imagine who will reflect for a moment. For how can you know that introductions of this kind will be agreeable ? If a person asks you to intro- duce him to certain people, you may decline on the ground that you are not suflaciently intimate to take that liberty. There are many other reasons why people ought never to be introduced to the acquaintance of each other, with- rPTTRODUCTIONS. 7 out the consent of each party previously obtained. A man may suit the taste, and be agreeable enough to one^ without being equally so to the rest of his friends — nay, as it often happens, he may be decidedly unpleasing. A stupid per- son may be delighted with the society of a man of learn- ing or talent, to whom in return such an acquaintance may prove an annoyance and a clog, as one incapable of offer- ing an interchange of thought, or an idea worth listening to. Should you find an agreeable person in private society, w^ho seems desirous of making your acquaintance, there cannot be any objection to your meeting his advances half way, although the ceremony of an introduction may not have taken place ; his presence in your friend's house being a sufficient guaranty for his respectability, as, of course, if he were an improper person he would not be there. If you meet a male acquaintance in the street, accom- panied by a lady, either raise or take ofi" your hat to him, instead of nodding — as this last familiar mode of recogni-- tion looks disrespectful towards her. Never make promiscuous acquaintances in coffee-houses or other public places. As no person who respects him- self does so, you may reasonably suspect any advances made to you in such a x:>lacc. An adherence to etiquette is a mark of respect ; if a man be worth knowing, he is surely worth the trouble to approach properly. It will likewise relieve you from the awkwardness of being acquainted with people of whom you might at times be ashamed, or be obliged under many circumstances to "cut." The act of " cutting" can only be justified by some strong instance of bad conduct in the i:>crson to be cut. A cold bow, which discourages familiarity without offering insult, is the best mode to adopt towards those with whom' an acquaintance is not deemed desirable. An increased observance of ceremony is, however, the most delicate way of wi^bd*'3^Ing Xrom an acquaintance ; and the person so 8 ETIQUETTE. treated must be obtuse^ indeed, who does not take the hint. And when you observe that any of your own acquaint- ances appear distant and more than usually ceremonious towards you, you may suspect that they desire to with, draw their intimacy, if not their friendship. In making introductions, the person of highest consid- eration should be the one first named — or if a lady, she should be first addressed, as, " Miss Phillips, permit me to introduce Mr. Day." A lady may, however, be introduced to a gentleman much her superior in age or station. Gen- tlemen and ladies who are presumed to be equals in age and position are mutually introduced ; as, " Mr. Lincoln, allow me to make you acquainted with Mr. Jones ; Mr. Jones, Mr. Lincoln." It is the common custom in this country to shake hands on being introduced. This, however, should be optional with the person to w^hom you are presented, or with you, if you stood in the position of the superior. If a lady, or a superior in^age or- social position, offers the hand, you of course accept it cordially. You will have too much self- respect to be the first to extend the hand in such a case. In merely formal introductions a bow is enough. Feeling should govern in this matter. In introducing members of your own family you should always mention the name. Say, " ^My father, Mr. Kipp," " My daughter. Miss Kipp," or " Miss Mary Kipp." Your wife is simply " Mrs. Kipp ;" and if there happens to be another ]\Irs. Kipp in the family, she may be " Mrs. Kipp, my sister-in-law," &c. To speak of your wife as '' my lady," or enter yourselves on a hotel register as "Mr. Kipp and lady," is not the correct way, though many worthy^ people do it. An introduction is not always necessary to enable you to form a temporary acquaintance. There is no reason in the world why two persons who may occupy the same seat in a railway car or a stage coach should remain silent INTRODUCTIONS. 9 during the wliole journey because they have not been in- troduced, when conversation might be agreeable to both. The same remark will apply to many other occasions. You are not obliged, however, to know these extempore acquaintances afterwards. If you are a gentleman, do not, we beg you, permit the lack of an introduction to x:>revent you from promptly offer- ing your services to any unattended lady who may need them. Take off your hat and politely beg the honor of protecting, escorting, or assisting her, and when the ser- vice has been accomplished, bow and retire. LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. These are of two kinds. First, as to business. Second^ those of friendship. For example: If you have a friend going to a distant place to transact certain business, it may be necessary for him to form some acquaintances there for business purposes only. You have, perhaps, a correspond- ent there ; yet you are not sufficiently intimate to ask him lo entertain your friend; but as a matter of common courtesy he cannot refuse to accept him as a business ac- quaintance, for which purpose you write a letter similar to the following: Kew Y^ork, 20th September, I860. Mr. A. J. IIooPER : Dear Sir — The bearer of this is my friend, George Jones, who goes to New Orleans to effect a settlement with the assignees of the late firm of Corning & Co. As he will be a stranger in your ci*y, I have taken the liberty to intro- duce him to your notice, and any attention or advice you may give him will be duly appreciated by Your faithful serv't, George Law. Mr. Jones presents this letter to Mr. Hooper, and if the latter chooses to consider it strictly a business letter, there is no breach of etiquette. He can invite Mr. Jones to hia house, or not, as he pleases. 10 * ETIQUETTE. Ordinary letters of introduction, however, are consid- ered as certificates of good social position, and proofs that the writer knows the bearer to be a proper person to be admitted into the family circle of the person to whom the letter is addressed. But yet it is not often the case that such a letter will do more than give the recipient an invi' tation to dinner, unless he should prove to be an uncom- mon agreeable acquaintance. Letters of introduction are therefore sometimes facetiously termed " tickets for soup," and many people will not make use of them at all, for that reason. The following is a form of such a letter, though" in special cases it may be written in more urgent terms : Washijs'Gton, Sept. 10th, 1860. Bear Sir — The bearer of this, Mr. Edward Everett, an esteemed friend of mine, is about to visit London for the first time, and will consequently be a stranger in your metropolis. Any attentions which you may extend to him will be grate- fully appreciated by Your friend, and humble servant, James Buchanan. Ilgn. John Russell. It is not customar}^ to deliver a friendly letter of intro- duction personally. You should send it to the person to whom it is directed, on your arrival, accompanied by youf card of address. If he desires to respond to the request of your friend, he will either call on you personally or give you a written invitation to visit him. A neglect to call would be considered by some people a mark of ill-breed- ing, though it really is not, as the person addressed may consult his own convenience or feelings in the matter. . Kor is he compelled to invite you to his house unless he is so disposed. A simple return of his own card is all that is required, and then you can call on him at your leisure. A Letter of Introduction should never be sealed by tlie person giving it ; but the recipient should seal it when he sends it to the party to whom it is addressed. SALUTATIONS, H In Europe it is always customary for any one with a letter of introduction to make the first call ; but here we are more considerate, for we think that a stranger should never be made to feel that he is begging for our atten- tions — that he possesses a certain delicacy tha?t would in- duce him not to intrude until he is positive that his com- pany would be agreeable. Hence if you desire to welcome any one recommended to you by letter from your friend, call upon him with all possible dispatch after you receive his letter of introduction. S.\IiUTATIONS. If you meet a friend in the street, cr in any public place, do not call him by name loudly, as, " All, Brown, liow d'ye do ?" It is not even necessary to speak his name at all so that strangers may hear,' as modest people do not desire to attract notice from any one. Accost your friend quietly, and in a low tone of voice. Should you meet a lady of your acquaintance in the street, or in a public place, it is not necessary that you should speak, or even notice her, unless she first recognizes you. You should, however, give her ample opportunity to see that you are aware of her presence. If she bows, you should take off your hat, or rather lift it from your head. A mere touch of the hat will not answer. There are no doubt many diffident young ladies who do not appreciate tlic necessity of making the first demonstration when they meet their male acquaintances; but such should remember that their sex is always paramount. They arc at liberty to bow, or not, as they please, while a gentleman would make an almost unpardonable breach of good manners should he neglect to respond to the least possible nod of a lady. Salutations should vary in style with persons, times, places and circumstances. You will meet a friend with a BliuKe of the hand and an inquiry after his healtl\, and that l2 iLTlf^Vl^lTT-E. of his family, if jov. liSbYe been introduced there. To a shght acquaintance yon will respectfully bow without speaking, or faintly recognise him in any other way. But In no case should you refuse to return recognitions of this kind made by any person whatever. Even to your enemy it is in bad taste to decline a recognition should he salute you. In sparsely settled places it is customary to salute everybody you meet with a bow, and the custom is an ex- cellent one, as it shows kindly feeling and a good heart. In fiishionable life visits and calls are made systemati- cally, as we will enumerate : First as to visits of ceremony. Every lady thinks she must call on all her female acquairt- anccs at stated times ; it becomes habitual with her to do so, and she considers it a duty. These calls arc usually short, and by means of them all the little gossip which is jnfloat may be as thorougly and extensively circulated as though it were printed in the newspapers. The usual time ior a morning call in New York is from eleven until three or four o'clock. Formerly they ceased at two. These calls should be timed so as to end a full hour before din- ner, therefore in country towns, v/herc people rise at six, and dine at twelve and one o'clock, they should be made earlier in the day — say from nine till eleven or twelve c'clocli. They are denominated morning calls, because "morning" in fashionable parlance means any time be- fore dinner. In making a morning call, the lady does not take off her bonnet and shawl, and she usually stays from ten to twenty minutes. Sometimes (though seldom) a lady may Kiake her calls attended by a gentleman. In such a case he assists her up the steps, rings the bell, and follows her into the reception room. He should never suggest that it is time to go, but wait until the lady gives the signal. He must- take his hat and cane into the room with him, and VISITTN'G. 13 keep them in his hand, as it is not proper to leave them in the liall on such an occasion. Do not handle any of the articles of Ujouterie in the houses where j^ou may call or visit. They may be ad- mired, but not touched. In making a call, if the lady called upon is not at home, leave your card, if you have one ; and if there are several ladies there who you wish to see, desire the servant to pre- sent your compliments to them severally. Sliould you not have a card, leave your name with the servant, of course. When a call or visit is terminated, it is customary among fiishionable people to ring the bell for a servant to open the front door; and this is necessary unless you attend your visitor to the door and open it yourself, which is sometimes done by people who do not stand upon cere- mony. Some persons would feel that they were shame- fully neglected if allowed to go alone to the front door and let themselves out. In calling upon a person living at a hotel, it is custom- ary to stop in the parlor and send your card to their rooms. Among intimate acquaintances such formality may not be necessary. Ladies should make their* morning calls in a simple neglige — not in their richest dresses. Gentlemen may dress with either a frock or sack coat. Visits of congratulation are made on the occurrence of any happy or auspicious event Avhich may have occurred in the family visited — such as a birth, a marriage, or any piece of good fortune. Such visits are similar to the morn- ing call, unless made by special invitation in the evening. When a person is going abroad to be absent for a considerable period, if he has not time or inclination to ^take leave of all his friends he will enclose each of them his card. Upon the envelope he will write the letters T. T. L., or else the words " to take leave" in fiili. On his returning home it is customary that his friends should 14 ETIQUETTE. first call upon him. If they neglect to do so he may drop their acquaintance if he chooses. Visits of condolence should never be delayed beyond the next week after a death occurs in a family, and such ,'Visics among friends are usually considered in the light of absolute duties. Visits of friendship are conducted by no particular rules of etiquette, as it is to be presumed that intimate friends, or relatives, understand each other's tastes and peculiari- ties, and will conduct themselves in a manner mutually agreeable. Such visits may occasionally be made under misapprehension, because there are many people in the world who are extremely fond of change, and will often persuade themselves that their society is coveted, when in fact they are not particularly welcome. Persons of any degree of sagacity can easily discriminate in their recep- tion the free and hearty welcome from the polite and easy grace which duty makes imperative. With intimate friends all strict ceremony can be dispensed with, but yet there are certain liberties which you may enjoy at home, that are not exactly proper to take in the house of a friend or relative. Criticising the conduct of servants, or children, or the acts of any member of the household, or the domestic man agemcnt generally, is in verj^ bad taste, though it may be done with the utmost good nature. No well bred person will ever make rem;^rks of any kind upon the habits, faults or foibles of a family where they arc paying a visit of friendship ; and to drop these remarks after they have left only shows that they were not deserving the confidence and attentions they received. In such visits you should strictly apply the rule to do nothing by act, word or deed that may cause a disagreeable feeling on the part of your entertainer ; which rule, as we have before explained, is the fundamental principle of gentility. Never make a visit of friendship unless you have either ft special or general invitation. Many people take it for granted that their friends desire to see them on any and all occasions, and in this way frequently become bores. Nei- ther should you ever beg an invitation, or intimate by word or action that you desire to make a friendly visit, and only wait to be asked, as in such a case you would run the risk of disgusting your friend. Evening visits, or parties, are sometimes formal, but more frequently mere social gatherings. In the latter case, when a lady is invited alone, she may bring a gentle- man with her if she pleases. She presents him tirst to the lady of the house, who is presumed to receive all her visit- ors as they arrive. If you should happen to pay an evening visit at a house, where a small party had assembled unknown to you, do not retire with an apology, but present yourself precisely as you would have done had you been invited ; and then if you desire to leave shortly afterwards, you can plead as an excuse that you had only intended to make a short call, and had an engagement elsewhere. In this way you will not in the least disturb the harmony of the assemblage or cause an unpleasant feeling to any one. RECEIVINO COMPANY. The mistress of the house usually receives the visitors, though at evening parties the master will often officiate with her. The receptions should be performed in an easy, quiet, and self-possessed manner, and without unnecessary ceremony. If the persons arriving are strangers to any of the company present, the names are announced on their entering the room, and they are afterwards introduced per- sonally to such of the company as may desire an introduc- tion, or with whom they may wish to enter into conversa- tion, or play, or to dance. When any one enters, whether announced or not, the master or mistress should rise immediately, advance to- wards him, and request him to take a seat If it is a young is ETIQUETTE, man, offer him an ann-cliair, or a stuffed one ; if an elderly man, insist upon his accepting the arm-chair •,^ if a lady, beg her to bo seated upon the sofa. If the master of the house receives the visitors, he will take a chair and place him- self at a little distance from them ; if, on the contrary, it i3 the mistress, and if she is intimate with the lady who visits her, she will place herself near her. If several ladies come at once, we give the most honorable place to the one who, from age or other considerations, is most entitled to re- spect. In winter, the most honorable places are those at the corners of the lire-place, if you have a fire in it. If the visitor is a stranger, when the master or mistress of the house rises, any person who may be already in the room should do the same, unless the comj^any is a large one. "When any of the company withdraw, the master or mis- tress of the house should conduct them as far as the door. But whoever the person may be who departs, if we have other company, wx may dispense with conducting them farther than the door of the room. On his first arrival, the visitor should salute the lady before he takes notice of any one else. If she receives him, this duty will be performel as a matter of course, but in case she should not happen to do so, he must still make his bow to her before speaking to any other person. TATTLING. In all sociaY intercourse, conversations will take place in which opinions are given and motives scrutinized which it would be extremely improper to repeat. Yet we find a great many people who delight in retailing remarks made by one party upon another, thus stirring up discord and strengthening hatred wheresoever they appear. Such characters are the bane of country society. What is more absurd, for instance, than if one lady should say to ano- ther—'' Well, Jane, what do you think Lucretia Smith says of you ? She says you have the thickest ankles and the KYENI2^G TaRTIES. X7 thinnest arms of any girl in town — that your shape is liko an alligator's, and your head resembles that of a bison !" Another class of tattlers are those who visit their fricndg and take note of all the habits and customs of the family, (lie conversations at table, the government of children, treatment of servants, family expenditures, employments and dress of the mistress, and even the late hours of the male members, should there be any who stay out late. Tiiesc are told in detail at the next visiting place. It is almost unnecessary to say that such people ire contempt- ible. If you wish to preserve any claim to respectability or social position, you will refrain from criticising, ev^en by a single unfavorable remark, anything you may have ob- served in' the house of a friend v/here you were stopping as a guest. foii:mal evening parties. These are of various kinds, and more or less ceremo- nious, according to the taste of the persons giving them. Some people who desire to be extremely fashionable overdo the thing and make their friends uncomfortable. The best plan is not to stand much upon ceremony, but exert your- self to make all your visitors at ease. Invitations to large evening parties are usually written ones, though it u by no means necessary to send such to your intimate friends. A verbal message to them is quite sufficient. An answer to an invitation should always be promptly given. A written invitation to an evening party runs as follows : Mrs. Edgerton presents her compliments to Mr. and Mrs. Day, and requests the pleasure of their company on Friday evening, the 19th inst. 311 Fifth avenue, Tuesday. Pieaso oblige by aa answer. Should your party be given to celebrate any particulai event, such as a daughter's birth-day, the anniversary of yovu: iS ETIQUETTE. marriage, &c., 3'ou can add to the note the words, " it be- ing our daughter Susan's fifteenth birth-day," or " it being the twentieth anniversary of our marriage," &c. If the persons invited by note desire to accept the invi- tation, they will write a reply similar to the following : Mpv. and Mrs. Day present their compliments to Mrs. Edgerton, and accept with pleasure her kind invitation for Friday evening. NYednesday. . If, on the contrary, they wish to decline, it is not neces- sary to give any reason for it, but simply write a note as follows : Mr. and Mrs. Day present their compliments to Mrs. Edgerton, and regret that circumstances will prevent their acceptance of her kind invitation for Friday evening. Wednesday. Having acceptea an invitation to a party, never fail to keep your promise, even if the weather should prove un- favorable. But in case of a severe storm, you will be ex- cusable. A married man should never accept an invitation of ^his kind unless his wife is included in it. CONVERSATION. Many men of talent forget that the object of conversa- tion is to entertain and amuse, and that society, to be agree- able, must never be made the arena of dispute. Some per- sons spoil every party they join by making it their only object to prove that every one present is in the wrong but themselves. It requires so much tact and good breeding to sustain an argument, however logical and correct the argucr ^nay be, that an avoidance of it will gain him more popularity than a triumph over his adversary could accom- plisli. Even slight inaccuracy in statement of focts Oi opinions should rcirely be remarked on in conversation. A man should never permit himself to lose his temper in sooicty — nor show that ho has taken olfence at any sup- co^^vEIlSATI02^\ 19 posed slight. It places him in a disadvantageous position — betraying an absence of self-respect, or at the least of self-possession. If any one should assume a disagreeable tone of voice, or offensive manner towards you, never resent it in com- ]iany — and above all, do not adopt the same style in your conversation with him ; appear not to notice it, and gen- erally it will be discontinued, as it will be seen that it has failed in its object : besides which j^ou save your temper, which is an important consideration. Be careful in company how you defend your friends, un- less the conversation be addressed to yourself. Remem- ber that nobody is perfect, and people may sometimes speak the truth ; and that, if contradicted, they may be de- sirous of justifying themselves, and will prove what might otherwise have been a matter of doubt. Never talk at people — it is in the worst possible taste, as it is taking an unfair advantage of them. If there be anything said that you dislike, speak your mind boldly, and give the parties saying it an opportunity of explaining, or of defending themselves. If you do not choose to do this, be silent. Do not repeat the name of the person to whom you are speaking — as, " Indeed, Mr. Jones, you don't say so, sir :" or, " Really, Mrs. Brown, I quite agree with you, Mrs. Brown." It is a very bad habit. In talking of your own children, never speak of them «\s " Master William," or " Miss Jane ;" " Mr. Henry," or " Miss Louisa :" it is a silly attempt to elevate both them and yourself, and is practiced only by vulgar and self-con- ceited people. When giving or attending parties, do not mistake stiffness for dignity. The very spirit of good breeding con- Bists in being easy and natural yourself, and in the endeavor to make others the same. Etiquette is only the arrrwr of society ; and v/hen your position is fairly established, it 20 '^TlQUETTE may be thrown aside, at least so far as is consistent "svitb good feeling and decorum. Avoid a loud tone of voice in conversation, or a " liorse laugh:" both are exceedingly vulgar; and if practiced, strangers may think that you are a retired politician, who had acquired the practice in bar-room harangues. You should speak in a slightly subdued tone of voice, which we fear can only be acquired in good society. Be cautious also how you take the lead in conversation, unless it be be forced upon you, lest people may reiterate the remark made by Dr. Johnson on a certain distinguished personage famous for his self-assurance, viz. : that he was like a great toe in society ; the most ignoble i^art of the body, yet ever thrust foremost. Be very careful how you " show off" in strange com- pany, unless you be thoroughly conversant with yo\iv sub- ject, as you are never sure of the person next to whom you may be seated. It is a common occurrence for 3^oung gen- tlemen of very shallow pretensions to endeavor to astonish country society, never dreaming tliat other persons may be present equi.ll/ posted, and i^erhaps far more intelligent than themselves. Indeed, as the consciousness of igno- rance is apt to make people peculiarly sensitive, it would be as well to avoid all subjects with which 3'ou suspect the generality of persons present cannot be acquainted ; for, as the mere introduction of such topics will be considered and resented as an assumption on your part, should you happen to be vanquished on your own ground, your defeat will be the more humiliating. In a room full of company, you should never take a person aside to whisper. It is extremely vulgar and offen- sive. If you have anything to say in private, retire to ano- ther room. Lounging on sofas or easy chairs, tipping back your chair on two legs, throwing your leg over your knee, or sitting in any unnatural po^Hion — these habits are always CONVERSATION. 21 considered indecorous, and when ladies are present are deemed extremely vulgar. Do not cross a room in an anx- ious manner, and force j^our way up to a lady merely to receive a bow, as by so doing you attract the eyes of tliG company towards her. If you are desirous of being no- ticed by any one in particular, put yourself in their way as if by accident, and do not let them see that you have sought them out ; unless, indeed, there be something very impor- tant to communicate. Never introduce professional topics in general conver- sation at a party. Yery few persons can be interested in your private business matters, and you must remember that the object is to entertain others, not yourself. You should be careful, also, not to introduce topics that have only a local interest, and you should never speak slight- ingly of those who are the friends of any one present. Mothers should be on their guard not to repeat nursery anecdotes or bon-mots^ as, however interesting to them- selves, they are seldom so to others. Long stories should always be avoided, as, however well told, they interrupt general conversation, and leave the impression that the narrator thought the company dull, and consequently en- deavored to amuse it. Never use the term "genteel" in conversation. To convey your idea, substitute " well-bred person," with " the manners of a gentleman," or " a gentleman." In speaking of any one do not say Mr. A., Mrs. B., or Miss C. Pro- nounce the whole name. Nothing sounds more abominable than to hear a woman speak of her husband as Mr. B. GAMES AND SrOIlTS. In some of the evening social gatherings, a variety of sports, or plays, are frequently introduced. Entering into the spirit of them we throw off the restraints of more for- mal intercourse, but they furnish no excuse for rudeness. You should never forget your politeness, or allow yourself 22 ETIQUETTE. to take liberties, or lose your sense of delicacy and propri- ety, while engaged in these amusements. The selection of games or sports belongs to the ladies, though gentlemen may modestly propose them, and ask the opinion of the ladies on the subject. The promiscuous kissing which frequently forms a part of the performances in some of these games, is now considered in bad taste. It has been brought into disfavor by the too fervent salutes which gentlemen, or rather male visitors, have substituted for the mere passive ones intended. A lady will offer her lips to be kissed only to her lover or husband, and not to th^m in company. Any breach of this rule in plays or games is wrong. The French code of kissing is the proper one, viz. : " Give your hand to a gentleman to kiss, your cheek to a friend, but keep your lips for ycur lover." Never prescribe any forfeiture, in a game, which can wound the feelings of any of the company ; and you should pay those which may be adjudged to you with cheerful promptness. As an evening party is often only anotber name for a dancing party, we will here give the rules observed in fashionable dancing parties, or sociables, in New York City. If not applicable everywhere, they contain hints which will be useful to every one who dances : 1. Draw on your gloves (white or j^ellow) in the dross- ing-room, and do not be for one moment with them off' in the dancing-rooms. At supper take them off; nothing is more preposterous than to eat in gloves. 2. When you are sure of a place in the dance, j^ou go up to a lady and ask iier if she will do you tlie lionov to dance with 5^011. If she answers that she is engaged merely request her to nam.e the earliest dance for which she is not engaged, and when she will do you the honor of dancing with ^^ou. DANCING. 23 ' 3 If a gentleman offers to dance with a lady, slie should not refuse, unless for some particular and valid reason, in which case she can accept the next offer. But if she has no further objection than a temporary dislike or a piece of coquetry, it is a direct insult to him to refuse him and ac- cept the next offer ; besides, it shows too marked a prefer- ence for the latter. 4. When a lady is standing in a quadrille, though not engaged in dancing, a gentleman not acquainted with her partner should not converse with her. 5. When an unpracticed dancer makes a mistake, we may apprise him of his error ; but it would be very impo- lite to have the air of giving him a lesson. 6. Unless a man has a veiy graceful figure, and can use it with great elegance, it is better for him to walk through the quadrilles, or invent some gliding movement for the occasion. 7. At the end of the dance, the gentleman re-conducts the lady- to her place, bows and thanks her for the honor which she has conferred. She also bows in silance. 8. The master of the house should see that all the ladies dance. He should take notice particularly of those who seem to serve as draper?/ to the walls of the ball-room (or 7€aU flowers^ as the familiar expression is,) and should see that they are invited to dance. 9. Ladies who dance much should be very careful not to boast before those who dance but little or not at all, of the great number of dances for which they are engaged in advance. They should also, without being perceived, recommend these less fortunate ladies to gentlemen of their acquaintance. 10. For any of the members, either sons or daughters-, of the family at whose house the ball is given, to dance ^ frequently or constantly, denotes decided ill-breeding. Tlie ladies of the house should not occupy tliose places in a q^uadrille which others may wish to fill, and they should, 3^4 ETIQUETTE. moreover^ be at leisure to attend to the rest of tlie com- pany ; and the gentlemen should be entertaining the mar- ried women and those who do not dance. 11. Never hazard taking part in a quadrille unless you know how to dance tolerably ; for if you are a novice, or but little skilled, you w^ould bring disorder into the midst of pleasure. 13. If a lady waltz with you, beware not to press her waist ; 3'^ou must only lightly touch it with the open palm of 3^our hand, lest you leave a disagreeable impression not only on her ceinture^ but on her mind. 13. If you accompany your wife to a dancing party, be careful not to dance with her, except perhaps the first set. 14. When that long and anxiously desiderated hour, the hour of supper, has arrived, you hand the lady you at- tend up or down to the supper-table. You remain with her while she is at the table, seeing that she has all that she desires, and then conduct her back to the dancing- rooms. 15. A gentleman attending a lady should invariably dance the first set with her, and may afterwards introduce her to a friend for the purj^ose of dancing. 16. Ball-room introductions cease with the dancing; and the gentleman should never again approach the lady by salutation, or any other mode, without a re-introduction of a formal character. This code must be understood as applying in full only to fashionable dancing parties in the city, though most of the rules should be adhered to in any place. The good sense of the reader will enable him to modify them to suit any particular occasion. FRENCH LEAVE. If you desire to withdraw before the party breaks up, take " French leave" — that is, go quietly out without dis- turbing any one, and without saluting even the mistress DI.NNEKS. 25 of the house, uiiiess you. can do so without attracting at- tention. The contrary course would interrupt the rest of the company, and call for otherwise unnecessary explana- tions and ceremony. If you are an intimate friend of the family, perhaps it would be more proper to take leave of the lady of the house in private. DINNER PARTIES AND DINNERS. Until quite recently, dinners were given in the most agonizing ceremonious manner. But we are happy to in- form all mankind that a little common sense is now used In dispensing the principal meal to hungry mortals. What was thought to be the height of good taste and superlative refinement a few years ago, is now declared vulgar, and the dinners of this day are not such tiresome affairs as those inflicted on our parents. A dinner party in the yeai- 1860 is almost as difllcult to describe as the gyrations of a pic-nic, so different are the customs of different people, and so few ceremonies are really necessary. It used to be said that many a man would pass muster in society as a gentleman until he accepted an invitation to dinner. But unless he was perfectly aufait^ dinner would surely betray him. All this is changed now. An invitation to dinner is generally given several days beforehand. It may be written or verbal. If you send out notes, they should be brief and unpretending, something like the following : Tuesday, Sept. 16th, 1860. Mr. George Jones requests the pleasure of your com- pany at Dinner, on Friday, the 19th inst., at six o'clock. W. B. AsTOR, Esq. If it is a family dinner party, the note should begin *' Mr. and Mrs. George Jones would be happy," &c., and should be addressed to Mr. and Mrs. W. B. Astor, or to W. B. Astor, Esq., and Mrs. Astor, according as your taste may dictate. 26 ETIQUETTE. Persons who receive an invitation to dinner should give a prompt answer, either verbally, or by note. The note must be brief, as follows : Wednesday, Sept. 17th. j\Ir. Astor accepts with much pleasure Mr. Jones's in' vitation to dine with him on Friday. Or, in case you decline — Mr. Astor returns thanks for your kind invitation for Friday, but regrets that circumstances will prevent his join- ing you on that occasion. George Jones, Esq. Invitations to a family dinner should always be answer- ed to the lady instead of her husband. Persons who so choose, may at all times decline invita- tions to dinner without any breach of etiquette. But if they accept, they should be punctual at the hour appoint- ed. The gentleman should be neatly dressed, and wear either a frock or dress coat. The lady should always ap- pear in full dress. When dinner is announced,, the host rises and requests all to walk into the dining room. He offers his left arm to the lady present who from age or any consideration is entitled to precedence. The hostess will then see that each lady is conducted by a gentleman, and they should enter the dining room under her direction, the married people preceding the single ones. Should you have to go down stairs to the dining-room, always give the lady the wall, and when you arrive at the table seat yourself on her right side. The lady hostess seats herself at the head of the table, and the host himself at the foot. The two most distin- guished gentlemen of the party are seated next to the host- ess, and the two ladies of greatest consideration sit next the host. If the dinner is given in honor of any gentle- man, he sits at the right of the hostess. In placing the party at table, always separate husband and wife, and DINNEItS. 27 members of the same family, ns they arc supposed to en- joy enough of eacli other's society at home. Mix up tlie gentl'3men and ladies as much as possible. Hi^Ip ladies with a due appreciation of their delicacy, moderation, and fastidiousness of their appetites ; and do not overload the plate of any person you serve. Kcver pour gravy on a plate without permission. ■ It spoils the meat for some persons. Do not insist upon your guests partaking of particular dishes ; never ask persons" more than once, and never put anything by force upon their plates. It is extremely ill- bred, though extremely common, to press one to cat of anything. Soup is always served first, and then Ush ; and it is con- sidered vulgar to take cither of them twice. The reason for not being helped a second time at a large dinner party is, because by doing so you keep three parts of the com. pany staring at you while waiting for the second course^ much to the annoyance of the mistress of the house. A\i a family dinner it is of less importance, and may be done now-a-days without a breach of good manners. Fish h always helped with a silver or plated fish-slice, and wheii you have it on your plate you should use your fork only in eating it. The application of a knife to fish is likely to de- stroy the delicacy of its flavor ; besides which, fish sauceg are often acidulated ; acids coiTodc steel, and draw from it a disagreeable taste. In the North, where lemon or vine- gar is very generally used for salmon and many other kinds of fish, the objection becomes more apparent. Do not ask any lady to take wine, until you see that Bhe has finished her fish or soup. This exceedingly absurd and troublesome custom is very properly giving way at the best tables to the more reasonable one of the gentleman helping the lady to wine next to whom he may be seated^ or a servant will hand it round. But if either a lady or a gentleman be invited to take wine at table, they should not 5S ETIQUETTE. refuse ; it is very gauche so to do. They need not drink lialf a glass with each person, but merely taste it, or touch tlieir liT")3 to the glass. The ho3-t or liostess should never eulogize any particu- lar disli, but should leave every one to their own choice and enjoyment, the main object being to have your guesta realize an ever-present sense of being entertained. You may casually mention that a certain dish is considered ex- cellent, but never press it upon any one, nor should you ever try to persuade your guest to cat more than he takes freely, for very young or modest people may be thereby in- duced to accept what they really do not want, which would be unpleasant to them. Silver or plated forks arc now universally used at tal5le — 3tecl forks being only fit for carving. Never use a knife to convey food to your mouth under an}^ circumstances. It is unnecessary, and glaringly vulgar. Feed yourself with a fork or spoon. A knife is only used for cutting. Peas, tomatoes, tarts, puddings, &c. should always be eaten with a spoon. As a general rule, when helping any one at table, never use a knife when you can use a spoon. If at dinner you arc requested to help any one to sauce or gravy, do not pour it over the meat or vegetables, but on one side of them. Never load down a person's plate with anything — it is vulgar. At a dinner party the host usually serves his left hand neighbor first, then his right hand, and so on. One ladle- ful of soup to a plate is sufficient. Take whatever is given to you, and do not offer it to your neighbor. Begin at once to eat, and do not suck the soup into your mouth or blow it. If it be too hot, stir it until it is cool enough to eat. Many people make an unpleasant noise with their lips by inhaling their breath while taking soup. This habit should be carefully avoided, [Making a noise in chewing, by smack- ing the lips, or breathing hard, are both unseemly habits. Use your knife^ fork and teeth as quietly as possible. DINNERS. 29 Do not pick your teeth at table, except in an emer- gency ; as, however satisfactory a practice it may be to yourself, to witness it is not at all pleasant. Ladies should never dine with their gloves on, unless their hands are not fit to be seen, though the habit is not positively ungenteel. Servants occasionally wait at table in clean white gloves, as there are few things more disagreeable than the thumb of a clumsy waiter in your plate ; but the custom of their waiting in gloves has never been adopted in the mansions of people of distinction. A white damask napkin, in which his thumb is enveloped, is given to each servant, and this effectually precludes its contact with your plate. Most writers on Dinner Table Etiquette prescribe that in sending your plate for anything you should leave your knife and fork upon it. There seems also to be a reason for the custom in the fact that to hold them in your hand w^ould be awkward, and to lay them on the table-cloth might soil it ; but the author of the " American Gentle- man's Guide," whose acquaintance with the best usage is not to be questioned^ says that they should be retained, and either kept together in the hand or rested upon your bread, to avoid soiling tlic cloth. Finger glasses, when used, come on with the dessert, and are filled with warm water. Wet a corner of your napkin, and wipe your mouth, then rinse your fingers ; but do not practice the filthy custom of gargling your mouth at table, albeit the usage prevails among a few, who think that because it is a foreign habit it cannot be disgusting. The French fashion of having the principal dishes carved on a side-table, and, served by attendants, is now very generally adopted at ceremonious dinners in this country; nevertheless, those who go into company can- not safely count upon never being called upon carve, and the art is well worth acquiring. Ignorance of it some- times places one in an awkward position. You will find 30 ETIQUETTE. directions on this subject in almost any cook-book ; you will learn more, however, by watching an accomplished carver than in any other way. I^ever i^are an apple or a pear for a lady, unless she de- sires you to do so, and then be careful to use your fork to hold it. You may sometimes offer to divide a very large apple or pear with a person. Coffee is sometimes served in the dining-room and sometimes in the drawing-room after dinner. If served at table, do not be in a hurry to have it brought, but wait until every one has done with his wine for fear you should seem chary of the wine. Should your servants break anything while you are at table, never turn round, or inquire into the particulars, however annoyed you may feel. If your servants betray stupidity or awkwardness in waiting on your guests, avoid reprimanding them publicly, as it only draws attention to their eri'ors, and adds to their embarrassment. It is customary, wiien you have been out dining, to leave a card upon the lady the next day, or as soon after as may be convenient ; but attentions of this sort are not always expected from professional or business men, their time being too valuable to sacrifice in making visits of mere ceremony ; therefore, do not attribute such omission to any want of respect, but to its proper cause — time more usefully occupied. When a man is about to be married, he usually gives a dinner to his bachelor friends; which is understood to be their conr/e^ unless he chooses to renew their acquaintance, THE ball-room:. Ag it i3 necessary for every young person who goes into society to learn to dance, in acquiring that art they will of course become familiar with the etiquette of the ball-room. If you are a stranger at a ball, you apply to the managers for a partner and are presented to a lady, Avith w^hom you THE ball-room:. 31 dance. This does not entitle 3-011 to claim her acquaint- ance afterwards, and you should not even recognize her again unless she makes the first advances with a bow or a smile. In Europe it is customary lor a gentleman to take off his hat to any lady in whose society he had ever been. But here we are more particular. We wait for the lady to first recognize us. Few ladies who go to public balls would object to being noticed by their ball-room acquaintances, or fail to bow on meeting, when you can respond by lifting your hat. I^ever invite a strange lady to dance with you unless you have been presented to her for that i^urpose. White or j^ellow tinted gloves are indispensable either at a ball or a dancing party. Lead the lady through the quadrille ; do not drag her nor clasp her hand too tight. Kever- stand up to dance unless you arc acquainted with the figures and know some of the steps. Dance quietly. Do not kick and caper about nor sway your body, but let your motion be from the hips downward. Do not pride . yourself too much on the neatness of your steps, lest you be taken for a dancing master. When you are waltzing with a lady, do not press her w^aist, but touch it lightly with the open palm of your hand. If a lady should civilly decline to dance with you, making an excuse, and you chance to see her dancing afler- *wards, do not take any notice of it, nor be offended with her. It might not be that she despised you, but that ehe preferred another. We cannot always fathom the hidden springs wdiich influence a woman's actions, and there are many bursting hearts within white satin dresses; therefore do not insist upon the fulfdment of established regulations " de rigueur." Besides, it is a hard case that women should be compelled to dance with everybody offered them, at the alternative of not being allowed to enjoy themselvea at all. If a lady friend be engaged when you request her to dance, and she promises to be your partner for the next or 32 ETIQUETTE. any of the following dances, do not neglect her when the time comes, but be in readiness to fulfil your office as her cavalier, or she may think that you have studiously slight- ed her, besides preventing her obliging some one else. Evea inattention and forgetfulness, by showing how little you care for a lady, form in themselves a tacit insult. Never quarrel in a ball-room, or show the least resent- ment All misunderstandings must be settled outside. It is in bad taste to be over officious in noticing derelictions from strict propriety, for well-bred women will not thank you for defending tliem under such circumstances, as they do not like to become conspicuous ; and in small matters they are generally able and willing to take care of them- selves, and overwhelm the offender in some quiet way. It is only serious and glaring violations of decorum that should be publicly noticed. In meeting your friends at a ball or promenade, it is only necessary to salute them once for the whole evening. Some people are constantly nodding and bowing, which is • quite disagreeable, THE STREET. While walking the street no one should be so absent- minded as to neglect to recognize his friends. If you do not stop, you should always bow, touch your hat, or bid your friend good day. If you stop, you can offer your hand without removing your glove. If you stop to talk, retire on one side of the walk. If your friend has a stran- ger wirh him and you have anything to say, you should apologize to the stranger. Never leave your friend ab- ruptly to see another person without asking him to excuse your departure. If you meet a gentleman of your ac- quaintance walking with a lady whom you do not know, lift your hat as you salnte them. If you know the lady, you should salute her first. If you meet a lady of y^iir acquaintance in the street, THE STIIEET. 33,- if she is an intimate friend you can confidently salute her by lifting your hat — if only a casual acquaintance, wait for her to recognize you first. Never ofier to shake hands with a lady in the street if you have on dark gloves, as you may soil her white ones. If you meet a lady friend wath whom you wish to converse, you must not stop, but turn and walk along with her ; and should she be w^alking with a gentle- man, first assure yourself that you are not intruding before you attempt to join the two in their walk. In w^alking with ladies in the street, gentlemen should treat them with the most scrupulous politeness. It is cus- tomary to give them the inside of the w^alk, but there may "be places where the outside would be safer, and you should then change sides. You should offer your arm to a lady with whom you are w^alking wiieneverher safety, comfort, or convenience may seem to require such attention on your part. At night your arm should always be tendered, and also when as- cending the steps of a public building. In w^alking with any person you should keep step with military precision, and with ladies and elderly people you should always ac- commodate your speed to theirs. If a lady with whom jo\i are walking receives the sa- lute of a person who is a stranger to you, you should return it, not for yourself, but for her. When a lady whom you accompany wishes to enter a store, you should hold the door open and allow her to enter first, if practicable ; for you must never pass before a lady anywhere, if you can avoid it, or without an apology. If a lady addresses an inquiry to a gentleman on the street, he will lift his hat, or at least touch it respectfully, as he replies. If he cannot give the information required, ho will express his regrets. When tripping over the pavement, a lady should grace. fully raise her dress a little above her anklo With her 3 34 ETiqXJETTE. right hand she should hold together the folds of her gown and draw them towards the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both hands, is vulgar. This un- graceful practice can be tolerated only for a moment when the mud is very deep. Most American ladies in our cities wear too rich and expensive dresses in the street. Some, indeed, will sweep the side- walks with costly stuffs only fit for a drawing- room or a carriage. This is in bad taste, and is what ill- natured i^eople would term snobbish. The out-door costume of ladies is not complete without a shawl or a mantle. Shawls are difficult to wear grace- , fully, and few ladies wear them well. You should not drag a shawl tight to your shoulders and stick out your clbow^s, but fold it loosely and gracefully, so that it may fully envelop the figure. snoppiKG. In inquiring for goods at a shop or store, do not say, I want so and so, but say to the shopman — Show me such or such an article, if you please — or use some other polite form cf address. If you are obliged to examine a number of articles before you are suited, apologize to the shop- keeper for the trouble you give him. If, aficr all, you cannot suit yourself, renew your apologies when you go away. If you make only small j^urchases, say to him — I am sorry for having troubled j^ou for so trifling a thing. PLACES OF AMUSEMENT. Gentlemen wdio attend ladies to the opera, to concerts, to lectures, &c., should take off their hats on entering the room, and while showing them their seats. Having taken your seats remain quietly in them, and avoid, unless abso- lute necessity requires it, incommoding others by crowding out and, in before them. If obliged to do this, politely PLACES OP AMUSEMENT 35 apologize for the trouble you cause them. To talk during the perfo nuance is an act of rudeness and injustice. You thus proclaim your own ill-breeding and invade the rights of others, who have paid for the privilege of hearing the performers, and not for listening to you. If you are in attendance upon a lady at any opera, con- cert, or lecture, you should retain your seat at her side ; but if you have no lady with you, and have taken a desir- able seat, you should, if need be, cheerfully relinquish it in favor of a lady, for one less eligible. To the opera, or theatre, ladies should wear opera hoods, which are to be taken off on entering. In this country, custom permits the wearing of bonnets ; but as they are neither convenient nor comfortable, ladies should dispense with their use whenever they can. Gloves should be worn by ladies in church, and in places of public amusement. Do not take them off to shake hands. Great care should be taken that they are well made and fit neatly. TRAYELING. As a general rule, travelers arc selfish. They pay little attention either to the comforts or distresses of their fellow- travelers ; and the commonest observances of politeness are often sadly neglected by them. In the scramble for tickets, for seats, for state-rooms, or for places at a public table, the courtesies of life seem to be trampled under foot. Even the ladies are sometimes rudely treated and shame, fully neglected in the headlong rush for desirable seats in the railway cars. To see the behaviour of American peo- ple on their travels, one would suppose that we were any- thing but a refined nation; and I have often wondered whether a majority of our travelers could really make a decent appearance in social society. When you are traveling, it is no excuse that because others outrage decency and propriety you should follow 36 ETIQUETTE. their example, and figlit them with their own weapons. A rush and scramble at the railway ticket office is always un- necessary. The cars will not leave nntil every passenger is aboard, and if you have ladies with you, you can easily 'secure your seats and afterwards procure the tickets at Jeisurn. But suppose you do lose a favorite seat by your moderation ! Is it not better to suffer a little inconveni- ence than to show yourself decidedly vulgar ? Go to the cars half an hour before they start, and you will avoid all trouble of this kind. When seated, or about to seat yourself in the cars, never allow considerations of personal comfort or convenience to cause you to disregard the rights of fellow-travelers, or forget the respectful courtesy due to woman. The pleasant- est or most comfortable seats belong to the ladies, and you should never refuse to resign such seats to them with a cheerful politeness. Sometimes a gentleman will go through a car and choose his seat, and afterwards vacate it to pro- cure his ticket, leaving his overcoat or carpet bag to show that the seat is taken. Always respect this token, and never seize upon a seat thus secured, without leave, even though you may want it for a lady. It is not always neces- sary for a gentleman to rise after he has seated himself and offer his seat to a lady, particularly if the lady is accompa- nied by another gentleman ; for there may still be eligible vacant seats in the cars. But should you see a lady come alone, and if the seats in the car all appear to be filled, do not hesitate to offer her yours, if you have no ladies in your company. And should a lady motion to seat herself beside you, rise at once and offer her the choice of the two seats. These are but common courtesies that every well- bred man will at ail times cheerfully offer to the other sex. Makmg acquaintances in the cars, although correct enough, is a measure of which travelers generally appear to be very shy. There is no reason for this, as acquaint- ances thus picked up i^oed neyer bo recognized again TIIAA"EL.ING. ' 37 unless jou please. If n stranger speaks to j'-on, always answer him politely, and if his conversation proves disa- greeable, you have no alternative but to change your seat. In steamers do not make a rush for the supper table, or make a glutton of yourself when you get there. Never fail to oiTer your seat on deck to a lady, if the seats all appear to be occupied, and always meet half way any fellow-pas- senger who wishes to enter into conversation with you. Some travelers are so exclusive that they consider it a pre- sumption on the part of a stranger to address them ; but. such people are generally foolish, and of no account. So- ciable intercourse while traveling is one of its main attrac- yions. Who would care about sitting and moping for a otzen hours on board a steamer without exchanging a word wuth anybody ? and this must be the fate of the exclusivea when they travel alone. Even ladies, who run greater risks in forming steamboat acquaintances than the meu, are allowed the greatest privileges in that respect. It might not be exactly correct for a lady to make a speaking ac- quaintance of a gentleman ; but she may address or ques- tion him for the time being without impropriety. Fellow-passengers, whether on a steamboat or in the cars, should at all times be sociable and obliging to one another. Those who are the reverse of this may be set down cither as selfish, foolish, or conceited. In the cars you have no riglit to keep a windovr open for your accommodation, if the current of air thus pro- duced annoys or endangers the health of another. There are a sufficient number of discomforts in traveling, at best, and it should be the aim of each passenger to lessen them ;i3 much as possible, and to cheerfidly bear his own part. Life is a Journey, and we "are all fellow-travelers. If in riding in an omnibus, or crossing a ferry with a friend, he wishes to pay for you, never insist upon paying for yourself or for both. If*he is before you, let the mat- ter pass without remark. 38 ETIQUETTE. MISCELLANEOUS HINTS. If you -wish to pass for a well-bred person, keep clean. It is far better to dress coarsely and out of fashion and be strictly clean, than to cover a dirty skin with the finest and richest clothing. A coarse shirt or a calico dress is not necessarily vulgar, but dirt is essentially so. A clean skin 5s as essential to health, beauty and personal comfort, as it is to decency ; and without health and that perfect free- dom from physical disquiet which come only from the nor- mal action of all the functions of the bodily organs, your behaviour can never be satisfactory to yourself or agree- able to others. When you go into a house anywhere, never fail to scrape your shoes, and wipe them on the mat, if the weather be muddy. Neglect of this duty is a pretty strong proof of slovenliness and vulgarity at home. Clean and white teeth are an absolute necessity to any one who expects to pass muster in good society. Some people can keep their teeth white without the aid of washes or powder, while for others it is necessary to use some cleansing substance daily. To keep the mouth sweet and the teeth clean, it is generally necessary to brush them always after eating, and to scour them once a day. Pow- dered iryrrh one part, to two or three parts of orris-root, is all that is necssary for a tooth-powder. Scent it with any- thing you may fancy, and you then have the same tooth- powder that is sold under different names by the apothe- caries. A bad breath is frequently caused by a dirty mouth and decayed teeth. Where it proceeds from the stomach, it can only be rectified by dieting and taking seidlitz-powders or some other gentle cathartic. You will not, of course, go into company, or sit do wis to the 'table, with soiled hands, but unless you habituate yourself to a special care of them, more or less dirt wHl MISCELLANEOUS HINTSi 39 be found lodged under the nails. Clean them carefully every time you wash your hands, and keep them smoothly and evenly cut. Never pare or scrape your nails, pick your teeth, comb your hair, or perform any of the necessary operations of the toilet in company. All these thing? should be carefully attended to in the privacy of your _ own room. To pick the nose, dig the ears, or scratch the ^ead or any part of the person in company, is frightfully vulgar. A gentleman should always wear a clean shirt. It is better to wear a threadbare coat than to have your shirt lisreputablc. Your hat and boots must also be well brush- id if you expect to pass for a person of good breeding. Bashfulness or diffidence is one of the greatest obsta- cles with which young people have to contend, and it can Only be overcome by resolute effort and practice. Never give way to it. Oo where you desire to go and overcome your diffidence by selr-respect, self-reliance and self-con- trol. Persevere in this and you will conquer it in due time. Pulling out your watch in company unasked is a mark of ill-breeding. It looks as though you were tired of the company, and that time dragged heavily. If you desire to know the time, retire to some corner, or into another room, and look at your watch unnoticed. Never offer a lady a costly gift unless you arc engaged to marry her. It is in the highest degree indelicate, and , looks as tliougli you were desirous of purchasing her good \vill. When you make a present to a lady, use no cere- mony, but give it in an indirect and indifferent way, as though it was of very little consequence. Gifts given by" ladies to gentlemen should not be purchased, but should be the offspring of their gentle skill, such as needlework,/ drawings or paintings. Keep yourself free from strange tricks or habits, such as thrusting out your tongue, continually snapping jour lingers, rubbing your hands, sighing aloud, gaping with a 40 ETiqUETTE. noifee like a country fellow that has been sleepmg in a hay- loft, or indeed with any noise. These are imitations of the manners of the mob, and arc degrading to a gentle- man. It is rude and vulgar to lean your head back against fine papered walls, and thus soil them. Never censure any one in conversation whose religious belief, or politics, or opinions of any kind, are different from your own. If he intrudes his ideas upon you offen- sively, be silent. Because he shows his own ill-breeding, is no reason why you should commit an impropriety. The right of privacy is sacred, and should ahvays be respected. It is exceedingly improper to enter a private room anywhere without knocking. No relation, however intimate, will justify an abrupt intrusion upon a private apartment. So the trunks, boxes, packets, papers, and let- ters of every individual, locked or unlocked, sealed or im- sealed, are sacred. It is ill manners even to open a book- case, or to read a written paper lying open, without per- mission expressed or implied. Books in an open case or on a center-table, cards in a card-case, and newspapers, are presumed to be open for examination. Be careful where you go, what you read, and what you handle, par- ticularly in private apartments. Always conform your conduct, as near as possible, to the company with whom you are associated. If you should be thrown among people who are vulgar, it is better to humor them than to set yourself up, then and there, for a nodel of politeness. It is related of a certain king that on a particular occasion he turned his tea into his saucer, contrary to the etiquette of society, because two country ladies, whose hospitalities he was enjoying, did so. That king was a gentleman ; and tliis anecdote serves to illus- trate an important principle ; namely, that true politeness and genuine good manners often not only permit, but ab- solutely demand, a violation of some of the arbitrary rules ^f etiquette. Bear this fact in mind. MISCBLLANEOTJS HINTS, 41 Gome people of both sexes affect odd, out-of-tlie-way dresses, or wear their hair in a queer manner, and defend themselves bj saying that their mode of dress is more con- venient or becoming, or less expensive. I have no doubt that a few of them do this in good faith; but with a ma-, jority it is simply a case of vanity and self-conceit, craving notoriety. Such pranks, either in men or women, should discard tliem from all ^ood society. If they choose to affect eccentricity, let them enjoy it alone by themselves. Qua- kers may be an exception to this rule ; though even that strictly moral people have recently introduced a little com-, mon sense into tl . ... creed as far as it relates to dress. The young Quakers and Quakeresses of the present day con- form to the usages of society in this respect except in the matter of "finery." Their dresses, and even their hats find bonnets, approach very near to. the fashionable styles. A well-bred gentleman or lady will sustain their charac- ters as such at all times, and in all places — at home as well ns abroad. If you see a man behave in a rude and uncivil manner to his father or mother, his brothers cr sisters, his wife or children ; or fail to exercise the common courtesies of life at his own table and around his own fireside, you • may at once set him down as a boor, whatever pretensions he may make to gentility. Good manners should always begin at home. If you would have your children grow up beloved and respected by their elders as well as their cotemporaries, teach them good manners in their childhood. The young sovereign should first learn to obey, that he may be the better fitted to command in his turn. Show, but do not show off, your children to strangers. Becollect, in the matter of children, how many are boru every hour, each one almost as remarkable as yours in the eyes of its j^apa and mamma. ]S"ever recline backwards, while seated, so as to push your chair upon two legs. This appears to be almost ex- 42 ETIQUETTE. clusively an American habit, and is decidedly a breach of good-breeding. Parlor chairs are usually made without braces across the legs, and should you enter a gentleman's parlor and tip back in a chair like this, you would run the risk of breaking it down. In shaking hands it is more respectful to offer an un- gloved hand ; but if two gentlemen are both gloved, it is very foolish to keep each other waiting to take them off. You should not, however, offer a gloved hand to a lady or a superior who i3 ungloved. Foreigners are sometimes very sensitive in this matter, and miffht deem the glove an insult. It is well for a gentleman lo ^^, y his right-hand glove in his hand if he is likely to have occasion to shake hands At a ball or party the gloves need not b6 taken off. Be exact and prompt in all your money transactions, ^o man who has the least pretensions to good.-breeding wiU take advantage of the liberality of his friend under any circumstances. It is no breach of politeness to refuse a loan, to even your best friend, because no one Is supposed to know of your ability to make the loan at that particular time. The first mark of a gentleman is a sensitive regard for the feelings of others ; therefore, smoke where it is never likely to prove offensive by making your clothes smell. After smoking, always WMsh 3^our mouth and brush your teeth. What man of delicacy could presume to address a lady with his breath smelling of onions ? Yet tobacco m equally odious to some people. Be cautious how you indulge in hadinage in the pres- ence of dull people ; they will either get out of temper in consequence of taking what }■ ou say literally, or else will ' stare and wonder at you for being such a " strange man." •' Poor Susan !" said a gentleman to a pretty girl. " Poor^ indeed !" replied the lady, with an indignant toss of the head ; " not so poor as that comes to. Papa can give us something, I think l" MISCELLANEOUS HINTS. 43 HINTS TO LADIES. Young ladies should always be on their guard against excessive timidity, for it not only paralyzes their powers, renders them awkward, and gives them an almost silly air, but it may even cause them to be suspected of pride among those who do not understand the real cause of their diffi- dence. There are many intelligent and worthy young la- dies who make a very indifferent appearance in society from this cause. We can only advise them that a firmness of purpose to break themselves of their timid feelings wail accomplish it by a little practice. Good temper and good nature arc tlic real essentials to true politeness, and the most artful polish can never impart the "j?6 ne sais quoV^ of elegance, where these two requi- sites are wanting. Propriety in the carriage of the body is especially indis- pensable to ladies. It is by this that, in a w^alk, or any assembly, people, who cannot conyersc with them, judge of their merit and their good education. IIow many dancers move off, and how many persons sigh with pity, at the sight of a beautiful woman who has a mincing w^ay, affects grace, inclines her head affectedly, and wdio seems to admire herself incessantly, and to invite others to ad- mire her also. Very few people like to enter into conver- sation with an immovable lady, and one who is formal and precise, stretching out the body, pressing the lips, and car- rying back the clbov/s, as if they were fastened to her side. Some ladies walk so as to turn up their dresses behind, and I have seen. a well-dressed w^oman made to look very awkward by elevating her shoulders slightly and pushing her elbows too far behind her. Some hold their hands up to the waist, and press their arms against themselves as tightly as if they were glued there; others swing them backward and forward, as a business man walks along the street. Too sfwrt steps detract from dignity very much. 44 ETIQUETTE. forming a mincing pace; too long steps are masculine. All these manoeuvres are in bad taste. The easiest or most natural gait and disposition of the limbs is the most graceful. The gait of a lady ougiit neither to be too quick nor too slow; the most easy and convenient step is that which fatigues the least, and pleases most. The body and the head should be erect, without aflectation, and without haughtiness ; the movements, especially those of the arms, easy and natural. The countenance should be pleasing and modest. It is not polite for a lady to speak too quick or too loud. When seated, she ought neither to cross her legs, nor take a vulgar attitude. She should occupy her chair entirely, and appear neither too restless, nor jet too im- movable. On rising from bed in the morning, a lady should put on a morning gown and a small muslin cap. The hair- papers, if they cannot be removed on rising, should be con- cealed under a bandeau of lace, or of the hair. They should be removed as soon as may be. In this dress she should receive only intimate friends, or persons who call upon urgent or indispensable business. Dispense with this dress as soon as possible, and dress for the forenoon. Some will go about in their morning dress half the da}^, which is a decidedly low and vulgar habit. In selecting your dresses, have a correct eye to suitable colors for your complexion. If you do not possess a good eye for color, you ought never to rely upon your own judg- ment in the selection of your patterns, or in their arrange- ment upon your person. If you do, you may be nothing more than a walking violation of all the harmony of light and shade ; and however expensively dressed, you will never appear either genteel or fisliionable. It is altogether out of place for a lady to spread out her dress for display, or to throw her drapery around her in nrN^TS TO LADIES. " 45 sitting down, and wliat is especially to be ayoided is, an unquiet, bold, and imperious air, for it is unnatural, and not allowable in any case. In receiving guests, jonr first object should be to make tliem feel at home. Begging them to make themselves at home is not sufficient. You should display a genuine, un- affected friendliness. Allow their presence to interfere as little as possible with your domestic arrangements ; thus letting them see that their visit does not disturb you, but they fall, as it were, naturally into a vacant place in your household. Observe your own feelings when you happen to be the guest of a person who, though he may be very much your friend, and really glad to see you, seems not to know what to do either with you or himself; and again, when in the house of another, you feel as much at ease as in your own. Mark the difference, more easily felt than, described, between the manners of the two, and deduce therefrom a lesson for your own improvement. Always avoid the foolish practice of deprecating your own rooms, furniture, or viands, and expressing regrets that you have nothing better to offer. I\either should you go to the other extreme of extolling any particular thing or article of food. The best way is to say nothing about these matters. Neither is it proper to urge guests to eat^ or to load their plates against their inclinations. When visitors propose to leave you, do not be over ur- gent to have them remain, even if you feel that their visit has been too short. You can express your regrets, of course ; but good manners do not require you to endeavor to retain them against their wishes or sense of duty. Don^t make your rooms or stair-case gloomy. Furnish them for light, and let them have it. Daylight is cheap. ,-. If your rooms are dark, all the effects of furniture, pictures, walls, and carpets is lost. If you have beautiful things, make them useful. The fashion of having a nice parlor, and then shutting it up all but three or four days in the 46 ETIQUETTE. year, when you have company ; spending yonr own life In a small room, shabbily furnislied, or an unhealthy base- ment, to save your things, is the meanest possible economy. Don't put your cards around the looking-glass, unless in your private boudoir. If you wish to display them, keep them in a suitable basket or vase on the mantle or center-table. If you are a guest in any family, you should accommo- date yourself to their customs and habits. Ascertain their hours for meals, for retiring, &c. and regulate your own movements accordingly. Your own gOod sense and deli- cacy will teach you the desirability of keeping your room tidy, and your articles of dress and toilet as much in or- der as possible. If there is a deficiency of servants, a lady will certainly not hesitate to make her own bed, and to do for herself as much as possible, and for the family all that is in her power. Treat your servants always with kindness, but at the same time with firm respect for yourself; on no account be familiar with them, neither hear their tattle, nor tattle with them. Do not scold them, or they will lose their respect for you. When they need reproof, give it them in a calm, dignified, and firm manner ; but on no account, if you can possibly avoid it, find fault with them in the presence of strangers, even though they should let fall the tray with your best set of china upon it. The reputation for good-breeding of the mistress of the nouse is often measured by the conduct of her servants. You should take care, therefore, to make them civil and polite, teach them to assist your visitors in putting ofi* and on their overcoats, cloaks, &c., And let them always be ready to open the door when your guests arrive or depart. Accustom your servants never to appear before you too •slatternly or too richly dressed ; never allow them to enter into conversation with each other in your presence, nor to answer you by signs or coarse terms. If you have 'only HINTS TO LADIES. 47 one servant, talk of licr "by licr Christian name ; if you iiave more, talk of tliem by tlic names of their offices, suet as nurse, cook, housemaid, butler, footman, &c., but always^ address them by their Christian names. . Never entertain your visitors with any narrative of yoiu' servants' improprieties. A lady in company should never exhibit any anxiety to sing or play ; but if she intends to do so, she should not affect to refuse when asked, but obligingly accedf at once. If you cannot sing, or do not choose to, say s^ with seri- ousness and gravity, and put an encl to the expectation promptly. After singing once or twice, case and give place to others. There is an old saying, that a singer can with the greatest difficulty bo set agoing, r^nd when agoing, cannot be stopped. A lady will not say, " Jly husband," except among in- timates ; in every other case she shoi? 1 address or speak of him by his name, as Mr. . If a lady who receives a half-cere ^.^onious visit, is sew- ing, she ought to leave it olf immedif ^cly, and not resume it, except at the request of the visitor. If they are on quite intimate terms, she may request peimission to continue. If a person visits in an entirely ceremonious way, it would be very impolite to work even an instant. Moreover, with friends a lady should hardly be occupied with her work, but seem to forget it on their account. To carry children or dogs with you on a visit of cere- mony, is altogether vulgar, ^ven in half-ceremonious visits, it is necessary to leave oae's dog in the ante-room; the nurse who holds the infam must also be left Avithout the drawing-room. When ladies arc introduced to one another, or to gen- tlemen, it is not customary for them to shake hands, but merely to bow slowly and gracefully. Courtesy ing is now obsolete. AVhen old friends meet they shake hands or sa- lute each other with a kiss on the cheek. is ETIQUETTE. Ladies of literary tastes should never attempt to show off much, for fear some- jealous rival of the other sex should sneer and call them blues. A lady should never prolong a friendly call into the evening, or make one at the close of the day, without having first arranged for an escort home. She should either have one of the domestics accompany her, or else a male member of her family, or have an understanding that they come for her. Should she have loitered until evening without bein^ thus provided, she must accept an. escort from the family visited, at the same time expressing her regrets. If, in traveling, any one introduces himself to you, and does it in a proper and respectful manner, conduct your- self towards him with politeness, case, and dignity : if he is a gentleman, he will appreciate your behaviour — and if not a gentleman, will be deterred from annoying you ; but acquaintanceships thus formed must cease where they be- gan, and your entering into conversation with a lady or gentleman in a boat or a coach does not give any of you a right to after-recognition. NEW YEARS CALLS. The American custom of gentlemen making calls on all their friends on New Tears day is very ancient, having originated among the Dutch settlers of Kew York. In 1840 it was at its height, almost every family with any social pretensions setting a New Years table, and making a display according to their means. It is still continued, though with much less parade and entertainment. Under the old arrangement. Young America was apt to take too much wine and an excess of hot whisky punches, hence big treats on New Years fell into disfavor. At the present time most families in New York City, and to some extent in large towns, receive New Years calls. The ladies are at home to all their gentlemen accjuaintances from cle^-en NEW YEAKS CALLS. 4^; or twelve o'clock in the day up to ten at night. It is not customary, however, to set a table or make a display aa formerly, but to receive the gentlemen, who 'pass the. com- pliments of the season, and after a few moments' chat re- tire. In some houses, if they protract their visit beyond a few moments, they are asked to take a glass of wine with the ladies. Tliat is all. In making Ncvf Ypars calls, gentlemen frequently go in couples, and by threes and fours. They call on tlie finiialG friends of the whole party, and if one or more of them should not be acquainted with the ladies where the call is made, they are introduced. It is not usual, liowever, to make promiscuous introductions in the best society. ^lost people are not very particular, because these casual intro- ductions do not really amount to anything. New Years day is the gala day for match-makers among the ladies. All the country cousins, and young ladies in *he matrimonial market, are marshalled and drilled to make the best possible appearance — in short, to put on their most bewitching and fascmatmg smiles — and we ara happy to add that casuaV acquaintances thus made often end in new friendships, and not unfrequently in closer ties. If a gentleman is introduced to ladies while making a New Years call, it does not warrant him to claim the pri- vilege of a friend of the family. He should never call a second time except he be specially invited, or unless ho has permission to do so through an acknowledged friend of the family. If he is desirous of a further acquaintance with the young ladies, he will request the friend who in- troduced him to ask such permission. In receiving their company on New Years day, ladies have the largest liberty and freedom. They can chat with any one who comes properly introduced, with the same frankness and lack of reserve that they would with their mo6t intimate friends. All ceremony is dispensed with for the moment ; but as the visits are necessarily short, if 4 50 , ETIQUETTE. there should happen to be any cases of " lore at first slglit,'^ the smitten youth must manage to get an invitation for ruture further acquaintance. New Years is a jubilee for bashful girls. On that occa- sion they show themselv^j in a frank, hearty and free-and- easy manner, in singular contrast to the stiff etiquette of' tlieir common every-day life. They are not then afraid of making a mistake, and they act natural. I have always admired the characters of bashful girls, and whenever op- portunity offers I make their acquaintance. Their reserve seldom or ever comes from stupidity. They are usually amiable, intelligent and clever, if not so quick-witted as their more favored sisters. If I was pressed to choose me a wife at random, I would select a bashful young lady. The two or three days succeeding New Years are the ladies' days for calling, to pass the compliments of the season. This custom has now become quite as popular as the New Years calls of the gentlemen. The ladies dis- cuss with each other the number of their gentlemen vis- itors on New Years, the new faces they have seen, and the matrimonial prospects for the y6ar. It is customary on these occasions to offer wine and other refreshments, and to drink to each other's health and prosperity. LOVE AInD COUIITSHIP. Youxa PEOPLE of both sexes are too apt to wax ro- mantic, and think of love and courtship before they are • out of their teens. Some girls may marry thus early and do well enough, but we earnestly protest against boyish courtships. They should be frowned down in every social circle. Young men under tw^enty years old who think of marrying are generally those who have not seen much of ^ood society. A boy candidate for matrimony is usually a bashful felloAv, who yearns for a social companion of some kind, and picks up the first silly girl he meets. If circumstances had so favored him that he could have gone LO\Ti: AND COURTSHIP. 51 more into femnle society, the probability is lie would never have committed a folly that may prove the bane of his future social existence. It is almost unnecessary to say that boys who marry, and girls who marry them, are by that act out of the pale of good society. I^o one would recognize a pair of children in the matrimonial state. They must tarry at home, and live upon love, until the husband's beard is grown. There are a few silly women, of not much account anywhere, who might patronise married boys for the sake of being praised and lionized by somebody. That is all. A young man should make up his mind not to marry until he is twenty-five. If lie e iters society with that de- termination, and possessing any degree of firmness of pur- pose, there is little danger to him of the shafts of Cupid. At that age he will have acquired such a knowledge of himself, both physically and mentally, as will enable him to set up a proper standard of female excellence, and to determine what qualities, physical and mental, should cha- racterize the woman who is to be his companion for life. Do not make up your mind to wait till you have ac- quired a fortune before you marry. You should not, how- ever, assume the responsibilities of a family without a rea- sonable prospect of being able to maintain one. If you are established in business, or have an adequate income for the immediate requirements of the new relation, you may safely trust to your own energy and self-reliance for the rest. Girls of good sense will not be ambitious to marry un- til after their twentieth year. They should then seek part- ners among gentlemen who arc from five to ten years older than themselves. If a girl is of a romantic turn, and in danger of falling in love, we would respectfully suggest that she should form no intimate acquaintances with the other sex except among those who are of suitable age for her. She will thus avoid the Scylla of "a green husband, 52 ETIQUETTE. even if slie gets wrecked upon the Charybdis of a shiftless or unprincipled one. I have generally noticed that "where a marriageable young man looked too anxiously round among his female acquaintances for a wife, he almost invariably got cheated. There is a certain class of girls who are brought up for the matrimonial market in the same way that an organ grinder trains his monkies. A girl of this kind is directed by her mother, who keeps hold of the string to which she is fast- ened, directs all her movements, and shows her off until her market is made. These are the ones usually taken by greenhorns, and over-anxiou3 Benedicks. It is seldom that a 3'oung man who goes much into fe- male society arrives at the age of twenty-five without hav- ing formed agreeable acquaintances among the other sex. He will therefore have little difficulty in selecting a girl suitable for his wife, and the question is, how shall he pro- ceed to win her according to the rules or etiquette of good society ? Girls have keen perceptions, and if the object of his choice reciprocates his partiality for her company, he will have no difficulty whatever, for she will meet him half way in all those little attentions which naturally suggest themselves to a lover. If, on the contrary, the lady is shy and undetermined, let him not seem too anxious to secure her favor, but treat her with a polite deference, and endea- vor by assiduous attention to her wishes, tastes and hu- mors, to gain her heart. Some young ladies will surrender under such treatment even after they had solemnly made up their minds never to encourage the man who was thus seeking their favor. Do not visit your sweetheart too often, lest by making yourself common with her, she will not feel that respect so necessary to foster genuine affection. Some young iel- lows, after they are tacitly accepted as lovers, will so over- v^helm ^heir sweethearts with their company as to becomo LOVE AND COURTSHIP. 53 positive bores. If a girl is sensible she Vviil dislike so much billing and cooing. In paying your attentions to a young lady with a view of marriage, you sliould not be so selfish as to omit your duties towards other ladies in whose society you may be thrown. Be careful about this. You had better run the risk of displeasing your sweetheart than to lose caste by a neglect of the rules of good-breeding. Never make costly presents to a young lady thinking thereby to obtain her favor. You can offer her neat trifles in a casual way, and procure any books that she may ex- press a desire to read. After the matter is arranged, by an engagement, you may show your generosity in proportion to your means. Even then it is in bad taste to be too lav- ish, or she may set you down for an improvident person. Young men who are excessively liberal and attentive as lovers, do not always make the best husbands. Girls know this, and one of good sense will discourage her lover from making needless expenditure in ministering to her gratifi- cation, or in proof of his devotion. Lovers usually feel a certain need of confidants in their afHiirs of the heart. In general, .tliey should be of the opposite sex. A young man may with profit open his heart to his mother, an elder sister, or a female friend consider- ably older than himself. The young lady may with equal advantage make a brother, an uncle, or some good middle- aged married man the repository of her love secrets, her hopes, and her fears. Asking the consent of parents or guardians is a duty on the part of the lady. She should consult her natural protectors before giving much encouragement to any one who aspires to her hand. It is often unnecessary for her to broach the subject to them at all, because the attentions paid to her speak for themselves. A father, mother, or guardian, would naturally oppose any close intimacy of- fered by an unworthy person. Where th*e lady lives apart 54 ETIQUETTE. from lier parents or guardian, she would commit a great impropriety in neglecting to apprise them of any serious attentions paid to her. In sucli a case her lover might ap- ply for permission to pay her his addresses. Young men are presumed to have arrived at the age of discretion before they marr}% hence tliey usually act inde- pendently of everybody. There may be cases, however, where it would be but just and proper tliat a young man should ^sk his parents' consent- If he proposes lo marry before attaining an independent position, or seeks an alli- ance with a lady either beneatli or much above him in the social circle, it is but fair that he should first consult his parents. Never enter into an engagement of this kind with a prospect of future isolation from your own family and friends. Never trifle with the feelings of a lady^ by paying her marked attentions that you do not intend for something. A female coquette is bad enougli. A male coquette ought to be banished from society. . Let there be a clearly per- ceived, if not an easily defined, distinction between the attentions of common courtesy or of friendship and those of love. All misunderstanding on this point can and must be avoided. Quarrels between lovers should be reconciled by a first proposition on the part of the lady. She will thus show a magnanimity that cannot but command the admiration of her lover if he has the least spark of manhood about him. If she has been at fault, let her confess it. If he was un- just or ungenerous, overlook his fault, and offer him a hearty forgiveness. When a gentleman has treated his sweetheart badly in a moment of petulance, it is but just that he should make an apology and ask forgiveness ; but do not urge a recon- ciliation — kt that come voluntarily from the lady. Many young men are anxious to procure a code of pro- posals, so that they can conduct their courtships, even LOVE A2TD COURTSHIP. 55 down to "popping tlie question," strictly according to etiquette. Tliis is all nonsense. If your acquaintance and intimacy witli a lady does not suggest the proper mode to ask her hand in marriage, we are afraid there is no hope for you, unless she loves you well enough to arrange the little matter herself. " Popping the question" hy rule is absurd. You had much better write her a note, revealing your Welshes, than to do that. A formal agreement to marry is not always necessary. In your little intimacies the grand result may be taken for granted where mutual confidence is strong. It may be proper to clinch the matter by asking the lady if she is almost ready to name the happy day — that being her spe- cial privilege. If she declines on the ground of no real engagement, it opens the door for you to make one then and there. After an engagement to marry is entered into in good faith, and it is so understood by the lady's family, no mo- tives of delicacy or false shame should prevent her enjoy- ing the society of her lover alone, and under circumstances that would otherwise seem imprudent. But neither of them should ever show their fondness in company by any acts of endearment. It is not" always necessary that en- gaged lovers should be left alone. They are supposed to be able to enjoy themselves in company as well as other people, and it is therefore not correct to leave the room be- cause the young lady's beau has arrived. If you wish to leave on that account, wait awhile until a good excuse offers, but in no case leave without an apparent reason. An engaged j^oung lady should not encourage her lover to be too loving during courtship. " There is many a slip," &c. Hugging and kissing is perhaps all very well when not too often or too fervently indulged in. The lady should never be lavish of her caresses nor too forward to receive ;hose of her lover. Let her govern her feelings without prudishness, and keep up a certain self-respect that will as- 56 ETIQUETTE sure him that though her affection may be strong and sin- cere, her sense of propriety governs her actions. A gentleman of any degree of refinement will never offer an indignity to the lady of his choice. It would be bru- tal in him to do so, and some very sensible people contend that such conduct is a proof of the absence* of any sincere regard. This is perhaps a mistake, as the passions of some people are stronger than their sense of propriety. A lady should fn-mly resist any improper liberties with her person on the part of her lover, but it is not necessary that she should quarrel with him on that account. Bhe can easily forgive her intended husband for what would be an un- pardonable insult in any other man. No well-bred person will offer to take offensive liberties with the girl he pur- poses* to marry. lie will have too profound a respect for her to do that. Young girls should be careful to avoid all indelicate expressions in presence of their lovers, or in fact anywhere else. Some ladies not only relish double entendres^ but ac- tually use them. Yet, how ever much it may create a feel- ing of cleverness at the moment, cool reflection is after- wards sure to condemn it both on the part of the speaker and listener. Such discourse, wanton glances, and light- ness of carriage, are considered by men as gauntlets to dare them to speak, and act in a more free and unguarded manner than they otherwise would have the boldness to do. At a dancing party, a lover should not expect to mo- nopolize his sweetheart as a partner. Let him lead oft' with her and then give some one else a chance. It is a piece of magnanimity that every lady present will appre- ciate. These parties are rightly named sociables, and in attending them you should leave all your selfishness at home. Although it is highly improper for an unmarried lady to travel, alone with a gentleman, yet after an engagement between them has taken place, the impropriety per se LOYE A^'D COCTlTSIirP. 57 ceases. The outside world are not supposed to know of this engagement, hence it is not exactly correct that they should travel alone, even then. She should have a female com- jianion with her. Engagements made with due deliberation, and between parties who h'ave been sufficiently long acquainted to thoroughly understand each other, will seldom be broken off. If such a painful necessity occurs let it be met with firmness, but with delicacy. If you have made a mistake, it is infinitely better to correct it at the last moment than not at all. Recollect that a marriage is not easily dis- solved. On breaking off an engagement, all letters, pres- ents, &c., should be returned, and both parties should con- sider themselves pledged to the most honorable secrecy and delicate conduct in reference to the whole matter. LOVE LETTERS. In writing their letters, lovers should avoid a repetition of endearing terms. A girl of good comnion sense does not require to be assured over and over again that she is the most fingelic of her sex — the darling of her lover's heart — the sweet solace of his existence, and all that sort of thing. I know that most girls are fond of adulation, and if one has a real affection for her lover, she will be apt to relish a good deal of soft nonsense put into his letters ; nevertheless it is not the correct way to write a love epistle. Always compose your love-letters in a style that you would not be ashamed to have them fall into the hands of a third party. You can easily do this and " pile on the agony" some, notwithstanding. You need not be formal and stiff ^ hi your style, but avoid silliness. Some lovers are natu- rally silly, and I do not expect to learn them anythmg. I address myself to those who are supposed to be full- wit- ted. Never fill your love letters with religious talk, or family gossip, tor fear your friend might suspect you of frivolity. Express your sentiments with candor and for- 58 . ETIQUETTE. vency, and in a humorous rather than a serious tone. Many lovers find it difficult to begin a letter satisfactorily. They desire some original mode of opening; but when cace started, they get along very well. For the ben-efit of Euch people I shall give a few skeletons of love letters, to be used by ardent youths and maidens, wdio can fill up be- tween the bones to suit themselves. Skeleton 1. An ardent lover, w^ho lives away from his mistress, wants to write his first letter after having paid her a visit. He begins as follows : My Dearest Amelia — I cannot refrain from waiting you a few^ lines to-day, though w^e parted so recently. My thoughts are constantly with you, and jour pleasant face and sweet smile seem even now to be before my mind's ej^e. I do not knoAV that it is much satisfaction to you to be so often reminded of my love and devotion, but it is a pleasure to me to speak my thoughts on the subject, and perhaps I am selfish in this respect. Be that as it may, I am sure my whole soul is with you, and the only anxiety 1 have is the fear that I may not be enabled to prove my- self worthy of your generous confidence. I shall do my best, however, to merit your constant love, A\aiting and hoping for the happy day when we part no more. [Here you can put in your own talk and gossip, and conclude the letter, as follows :] With further assurances of my entire devotion, and that you have my whole heart, i remain as ever, my dear girl, your affectionate friend and lover, Abham Lincoln. Skeleton 2. A matter-of-fact philosopher soars into the regions of the romantic, and " piles on the agony" a little, in writing to his lady-love : My Bonnie Kate — Some philosopher has remarked that when a man is once thoroughly in love it changes the whole scope of his thoughts, feelings and ideas — tiiat he, in short, is not the same individual m point of intellect that lie was before he experienced the delightful sensations of a sincere personal attachment. Tins seems to me a rational theory, if I can judge by my own experience. LOTE LETTERt. 59 When I reflect upon my x>osition as your favored friend, my happiness knows no bounds. The sun of heaven shines bright and glorious. Every one around me looks pleasant and contented, and I feel as though the Creator of the Uni- verse had made this beautiful world specially to confer bliss upon us poor mortals. I never felt so before. There was always something wanting. Success in business mat- ters may have been cheering and comfortable, but yet my happiness was incomplete. I lacked a loving heart to beat in unison with my own. In your affection, my dear- est Kate, I have found consolation ; and I hope and trust that our future career will be one of happiness unalloyed. Indeed, I feel that it will be so, for my feelings and affec- tions are much too strong ever to ^vander from one v/lio is so good and generous, and I hope always to merit your un- affected regard. [Here put in your gossip, and the information you de- sire to communicate, and conclude as follows :] Hoping that our mutual sj^mpathy may continue while life lasts, t remain, Katy darling. Your faithful friend and affectionate lover, Hannibal Hamlin. Skeletons. Here is a letter of more moderation. The young fellow puts in only a few " scientific licks" of love. It is an answer to a' very loving epistle from his sweetheart : My Sweet and Pure Eliza — Your kind letter reached me safely by mail this morning, and I read it with great eagerness and pleasure — indeed I may say I have read it over at least a dozen times, so grateful and happy do I feel to enjoy the affection and confidence of one who I sin- cerely love. I rejoice to hear that you are well, and hope that nothing may occur to mar your happiness. [Here put in your gossip, and conclude as follows :] But I must bid you adieu! and as I do so, let me re- mind 3'oa that your loving letters are to me a source of much pleasure. As I read them, I imagine 1 am sitting by your side and hearing the sound of your voice. Let nic entreat you, then, to write to m? constantly. I promise to answer you promptly, even should my ideas run out so that I can merely bandy compliments. Let me again as- sure you that you have my whole lieart, and that I remain, as ever, Your uffcctionate J^iMEa. 60 ETIQUETTE, Skeleton 4. Here is the head and tail of a pleasant little epiptle that will answer in case 5"0u do not want to be very sentimental, but yet desire to tickle the fancy of your sweetheart a little ; Dearest Julia — I take great pleasure in again w' riting to you, first to thank you for your generous and affectionate confidence, and then to assure you of my entire and con- tinued devotion. I am, thank God, well and cheerful, and I am constantly t-hinking of " the good time coming" when we shall never again be separated. It is said that when one is really in love, if things go smoothly, he or she is the happiest of mortals. I can believe in that doctrine impli- citly^ and I trust it is the same with you. Tell me, is it so ? Are you one of those favored by the merry little fel- low with bow and arrows ? Does our mutual attachment to contribute to your present happiness ? As Touchstone says — Doth my simple features content you ? I think I feel your soft embrace, and your warm lij^s upon my own in generous response ! [Here put in your gossip, and then wind up the letter as follows :] And now, Julia, let me ask you another question, and I will then close. Don't you think that when lovers part for a while they experience a deeper and more profound feeling of devotion and attachment than when they are • almost constantly meeting and enjoying each other's soci- ety? It seems so. to me. I really believe that I love you more tenderly than ever now that I can only express my- self by letter. What is the state of your feelings ? Write word and let us compare notes. I remain, truly and devotedly, Your faithful and loving friend, James Thompson. Skeleton 5. This may fit in somewdiere, and so we print it. It is a good plan to take out some particular strong sentences when the whole skeleton will not suit your case. Girls generally like to be loved pretty strong, and it will do no harm to put in anywhere a few such ex- pressions as may be found here : Mon Cher Ami — What on earth is the reason you do not write to me ? I am absolutely pining :iway and dyibg LOTE LETTERS. 61 by iwdies in consequence of your neglect. If I did not know that your little heart was exactly in the right place^ and that some time or other I should have a plausible ex- cuse, if not a good and valid one, for this neglect, I assure you I should begin to think of getting vexed. But let us not talk about anything disagreeable. Love is my theme ! and it is to my soul's idol that these lines will speed their w^ay. Let me now picture to my mind's eye my dear little Carrie as she reads this letter. First she puts on a look of sadness as she peruses my gentle reproaches. A sweet little blush now tinges her cheek as she is assured of my forgiveness, and as the reading continues she unconsciously raises the letter to her lips. Dear good girl ! I will kiss this sheet all over, and thus have the satisfaction of send- ing you the shadow while we cannot enjoy the substance of our mutual caresses. [Here write your private gossip, and conclude the letter as follows:] And now, Carrie dear, don't fail to let me hear from you " right sudden." If you have not time or inclination to write two lines, give me one, and say in it, " I am well, and I love you, Jolm," and I will be satisfied. Fancy your own feelings if I should neglect to write to you for nearly three weeks ! Adieu, my darling, and believe me that my greatest present happiness is in reading your letters. From your always loving and devoted JonK. Ladies generally know exactly how to address their lovers. To them love letters come natural. It is unneces- sary to place before them even a " skeleton " to set them agoing, for a live handsome young fellow will do it alone. Nevertheless, some of the above skeletons, or parts of them, could be adapted by ladies mto letters to their lov- ers, if they were hard up for ideas. I will wind up this essay on letters by giving a genuine one from a young lady to her lover. It is a gem in its way : Newport, Aug. 23d, 1857. Dear Jolm — I have come here, as you so disinterestedly recommended, but my heart, I fear, is left behind. _ I am sad to-night. Papa says that m two or three days I shall be as bright as a lark, but I lear not. We go to the White 62 ETIQUETTE. ^ Mountains en Monday, and I want you to come and go ■with us, so I can hear you talk about ** earth's thousand ; voices," " Nature's bright teachings," and all those roman- tic things which are for ever at your tongue's end. They \ come natural to you, but it is a great eflbrt for me to get them off. I promise to make the proper responses to all your enthusiastic exclamations, and to say '' Yes !" every time you exclaim " Beautiful !" which will keep me inces- santly busy, I'm sure, for the scenery in the mountains is said to be grand. Do come, dear John, and you will make me happy. I am troubled some with a cough, which the doctor calls the asthma. Papa says I inherit from Grand- mother Jones. I told him it was an awful piece of injus- ' tice in her to leave him all her money and poor me only : her infirmities. I shall post this by to-night's mail, and | will look for your answer to-morrow. You must come oq Saturday, as we start bright and early on Monday morn- ing. I think you are sure to come, as you never refuse any ; request of your pet Eliza. ' MARRIAGE. "When a man marries it is presumed that all his bache- lor acquaintanceship ends. He can renew his friendships ! by sending cards or invitations, but where he neglects to I do so, the party neglected may be sure that no further in- ] tercourse is desired. There are various reasons for this. In the first place, a bachelor need not be so particular in his choice of companions as a man of family who has a social reputation to achieve. For amusement, while un- married, he may associate freely with those whose morals - and habits would not exactly accord with the proprieties ] of domestic life. After marriage his reputation must be ] unexceptionable if he expects to be recognized among per- ; sons of lefinement. There is still another reason why he : may discard bachelor acquaintances. A newly married pair may wish to limit the circle of their friends, from : praiseworthy motives of economy. When a man first i " sets up ''in the world, the burden of an extensive and ; indiscriminate acquaintance may be felt in various ^^ny% ] MARRIAGE. 63 Maii}^ have had cause to regret the weakness of mind which allowed them to plunge into a vortex of gayety and expense they could ill afford, from which they have found it difficult to extricate themselves, and the effects of which have proved a serious evil to them in after-life. Ladies, after an engagement to marrj^, should be cau- tious of receiving any attentions whatever from gentlemen. Lovers are naturally jealous of any such attentions, how- ever innocent or frivolous. If, after engagement, a lady should wish to go to a place of public amusement, or to a concert, or even to an even- ing meeting, she should not accept an invitation to go with a gentleman other than her lover, except it be a near rela- tive, such as her brother or an elderly uncle. To go with any other gentleman, except by permission of her intended husband, would be exceedingly improper. It is the lady's privilege to name the day for marriage, and the lover should leave the arrangement exclusively to her. He ought never to urge her to hasten the event con- trary to her wishes, as the lady may have reasons that he cannot appreciate for a more remote day for the nuptials than he desires. The bridal outfit, which is furnished by the relatives of the bride, usually consists of clothing and necessary family linen. Some opulent fathers will add to these a house and furniture. Jewels are not usually comprised in an outfit. They are presented by the bridegroom. Bridal presents consist of any useful or ornamental article for the use of the bride, whether to adorn her person, for the toilet, or for house-keeping. Sometimes dress-patterns are given, but they are not appropriate, as the colors may ncfc please her. ) Some ladies put on a traveling dress, get married in a hurry, and start at once for the cars or steamboat. This is not the correct way. A bride should be dressed in white, with wliite veil and a wreath of orange flowers on 54 ' ETIQUETTE. her head. After the ceremony is over, and she has ro ceived the congratulations of friends, she can put on her travehng dress and hasten away as fast as she pleases. If, from motives of economy, you conclude to go through the ceremony in your traveling dress, you should only in- vite a few intimate friends to be present. The bridegroom should wear a black dress coat and trowsers, white vest, and black cravat. Let us entreat him not to commit the solecism against good taste of wear- ing a white cravat, which gives an inexpressibly silly look to the most intellectual countenance in the world. The bride may havt one or half-a-dozen bridesmaids at her choice. No particular number bein^ fixed, it is often determined by the number of sisters or of intimate friends she may have. The bridesmaids should be dressed in white, all alike, and wear orange flower bouquets. If there is a bridal breakfast, or collation, the bride should retain her bridal dress mitil that is over. She can then put on her traveling dress. After the departure of the newly married couple, cards are issued, and wedding cake forwarded to their numerous friends. The cards usually contain an appointment of a certain day (or two or three days if necessary) when they will be "at home" to receive visits of congratulation. Cards and cake are also sent to distant friends — those re- siding even hundreds of miles away. The cake is often omitted, and the cards sent by mail. When a bride attends the first party after marriage, she usually trims her hair with orange flowers. 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PARTIJSTGTON, Heart-Kending Puns, "Witty Repartees, Etc., Etc. The whole illustrated by about 150 comic woodcuts. 12mo, 300 pages, cloth, gilt. Price $125 Ornamented paper covers. Price . 75 cts. Sam Slick in Search of a Wife. l2mo, paper. Price -- 75 cts. Cloth. Price $1 25 Everybody has heard of "Sara Slick, the Clockmaker," and he has givca his opinion on almost everything. Sam Slick's Nature and Human Nature. liarge 12rao. Paper. Price _ 75 cts. Cloth. Price $1 25 The Attache; or, Sam Slick in England. 12mo. Paper. Price — 75 cts. Cloth. Price $1 25 Sam Slick's Sayings and Doings. Paper. Price 75 cts. Cloth. Price $1 25 Ladies' G-Uide to Crochet. By Mrs. Ann S. Stephens. Copiously illustrated with odginal and very choice designs in Crochet, Etc., printed in colors, separate from the letter-press, on tinted paper. Also with numerous wood-cuts, printed with the letter-press, cxpl-matory of terms, Etc. Bound in extra cloth, gilt. This is by far the best work on the subject of Crochet ever published. Price .$1 25 The Laughable Adventures of Messrs. Brown, Jones and Robinson. Showing where they wont and how they went ; what they did and how they did it. "With nearly two hundred most thril- lingly comic engravings. Price— 30 cts. The Knapsack Full of Fun ; or, One Thousand Baiions of Laughter. Illustrated with over 500 comical Engravings, and contain- ing over one thousand Jokes and Funny Stories. By Doesticks and other witty writers. Large quarto. Price 30 cts. The Plate of Chowder ; A Dish fw Fanny Fellows. Ap- propriately illustrated with 100 Comic Engravings. By the author of *' Mrs. Partington's Carpet-Bag of Pun." 12mo, paper cover. Price 25 cts. Send cash oraers to Dick & Fitzgrerald, New York. Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. The Bordeaux Wine and Liquor-Dealers' Guide. A Treatise on the Maaufacture of Liquors. By a Practical Liquor Manu- facturer. 12mo, cloth. The author, after telling what each liquid is composed of, furnishes a formula for making its exdct counterpart— exact in everything. Each formula is comprehensive — no one can misunderstand it. Price, - $2 50 The Ladies' G-Uide to Beauty. A Companion for the Toilet. Containing practical advice on improving the complexion, the hair, the hands, the form, the teeth, the eyes, the feet, the features, so as to in- sure the highest degree of perfection of which they are susceptible. And also upwards of one hundred recipes for various cosmetics, oils, pomades, &c., &c. Paper. Price 25 cts. Broad Grins of the Laughing Philosopher- Being a Collection of Funny Jokes, Droll Incidents, and Ludicrous pictures. By Pickle the Younger. This book is really a good one. It is full of the drollest incidents imaginable, interspersed with good jokes, quaint sayings, and funny pictures. Price - 13 cts. Yale College Scrapes ; or, Hew the Boys Go It at New Haven. This is a hook of 114 pages, containing accounts of all the noted and famous "Scrapes" and ** Sprees," of which students at Old Yale have been guilty for the last quarter of a ceutviry. Price 25 cts. The Comic English Grammar ; or, A Complete Grammar of our Language, with Comic Examples, Illustrated with about fifty Engravings. Price - — -25 cts. The Comical Adventures of David Dufficks. Illustrated with over one hundred Funny Engravings. Large octavo. Price 25 cts. BOUOT) SONG BOOKS. Tony Pastor's Complete Budget of Comic Songs. Containing a complete collection of the New and Original Songs, Burlesque Orations, Stump Speeches, Comic Dialogues, Pathetic Ballads, as sung and given by the celebrated Comic Vocalist, Tony Pastor. Cloth, gilt. Price - - $1 25 The Universal Book of Songs. Containinp: a choice collection of 400 new Sentimental, Scotch, Irish, Ethiopian and Comic Songs. 12mo, cloth, gilt. Price — $1 25 The Encyclopedia of Popular Songs. Being a com- pilation of all the new and Fashionable Patriotic, Sentimental, Ethiopian, Humorous, Comic and Convivial Songs, the whole comprising over 400 songs. 12mo, cloth, gilt. Price - $1 25 Tony Pastor's Book of Six Hundred Comic SonffS and Speeches. ^^Ing an entire collection ot all the Humoi-ous Songs, Stump Speeches, Burlesque Orations, Funny Scenes, Comic Duets, Diverting Bialocrucs, and Locnl Lyrics, as punff and ffiven by the nnrivaled Comic Yocnllst and Stump Orator, Tony Pastor. Bound in Boards, and cloth back. Price $1 00 Send cash orders to Dick & Fitzg-erald, New York. Popnlar Boo'ks sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. Day's American Ready-Reckoner. Containing Tables for rapid calculations of Aggregate Values, "Wages, Salaries, Board, Interest Money, &c., &c. Also, Tables of Timber, Plank, Board and Log Measurements, •with full explanations how to measure thorn, either by the square foot (board measure) or cubic foot (timber measure). Also how to measure Wood by the Cord, with Tables applicable to piles of Wood of any shape, and showing in a simple manner how to ascertain the contents in cords of a pile of any shape. Also, Tables of Land Measurements, showing the Contents of a Piece of Land of almost any shape, from a quarter acre up to ten acres, and telling exactly how to measure land in any quantity by Chains and Links or by Yards and Feet. Also telling how to describe a piece of Land in deeding it. Also giving information as to acquiring and locating a Farm on the Public Lands of the United States. By B. H. Day. This Ready-lleckoner is composed of Original Tables, which are positively correct, having been revised in the most careful manner. It is a book of 192 pages, and embraces more matter than 500 pages of any other Reckoner. Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price _ 50 cts. Bound in cloth, gilt back. Price 75 cts. Bound in leather tucks (pocket-book style). Price $1 00 Martine's Letter-Writer and Etiquette Com- bined. For the use of Ladies and Gentlemen. 12mo., cloth, gilt side and back. A great many books have been printed on the subject of etiquette and correct behavior in society, but none of them are sufficiently compre- hensive and matter-of-fact to suit the class of people who may be called new beginners in fashionable life. This book is entirely different from others in that respect. It explains in a [)lain, common-sense way, precisely how to conduct yourself in every position in society. This book also contains over 300 sensible letters and notes suitable to every occasion in life, and is probably the best treatise on Letter- Writing that has ever been printed. It gives easily understood directions, that are brief and to the point. It has some excellent model letters of friendship and business, and its model Love-Letters are unequaled. If any lady or gentleman desires to know how to hegin a love correspondence, this is just the book they want. This volume contains the same matter as '^Marline's Hand-Book of Etiquette'* and ^^ Marline's Sensible Letter-Writer,'* and, in fact, combines those two books bound together in one substantial volume of 373 pages. $1 50 The Independent Liqnorist ; or, The Art of Mann- factnring: all kinds of Syrups, Bitters, Cordials, Champagrne, "Wines, Lager Eeer, Ale, Porter, Beer, Punches, Tinctures, Extracts, , Brandy, G-in, Essences, Flavoring-s, Coloringrs, Sauces, Catsups, Pickles, Preserves, etc. By L. Monzert, Practi- cal Liquorist and Chemist. Every Druggist, Grocer, Restaurant, Hotel- keeper, Farmer, Fruit Dealer, "Wine Merchant, and every private family should have a copy of this work. It gives the most approved methods, and a true description of the manner in which our most popular beverages are prepared, in such plain terms, that the most inexperienced person can manufacture as well as the practical man, without the aid of any expensive apparatus. 12mo., cloth. Price $3 00 Miner's Domestic Poultry Book. A Treatise on the History, Breeding and General Management of Foreign and Domestic Fowls. By T. B. Mixer, author of " American Bee-Keepers Manual," embracing all the late Importations of Fowls, and being descriptions by the best Fowl Fanciers in the United States, of all the most valuable breeds, with the au- thor's extensive exnerience as a breeder, together with selected matter of interest, comprising, as it is believed, the most complete and authentic work on the subject ever published. Illustrated with numerous Portraits rom Life, Bound in cloth. Price $1 50 Send Cash orders to Dick & Fitzgerald, "Nqw York. Mrs. Crowen's Amerioan Ladies' Cookery Book. Comprising every variety of information for ordinary and holiday occasionsj and containing over 1200 original Beceipts tor preparing and cooking Soups and Broths, Fish and Oysters, Clams, Muscles and Scollops, Lobsters, Crabs and Terrapins, Meats of all kinds, Poultry and Game, Eggs and Cheese, Vegetables and Salads, Sauces of all kinds, Fancy Desseris, Pud- dings and Custards, Pies and Tarts, Bread and Biscuit, lloUs and Cukes, Preserves and Jellies, Pickles and Catsups, Potted Meats, etc., etc. Toge- ther with valuable and important hints on choosing and purchasing all kinds of Provisions, and preparing Ilipe Fruits for Table, Bills of Fare for the relief of young housekeepers. Arrangement of the Table for every varie- ty of Dinner Parties, Etiquette of the Dinner Table, Cookery for Invalids, Carving Made Easy, Etc. The whole being a complete system of American Cookery. By Mrs. T. J. Crowen. Illustrated with several diagrams. This genuine and really practical American Cook Book is worth a thousand of the foreign republications which are issued from the press in this country. Mrs. Crowen gives directions for making all sorts of economical dishes, baking all kinds of cakes and. pies, manufacturing every variety of confec- tionery, preserving, pickling, &c., so plainly that the housekeeper of a week's standing can easily act upon her directions, and yet she has taken so co'iiprehensive a scope that the very best and most skillful will find some- thing new. All the Receipts in thii work have been carefully tried, and maybe reliei upon as the result of actual experience. 12mo, cloth bin-l- ing, 474pages. Price _ *, $2 00 Martine's Sensible Letter "Writer; Bein^ a comprehen- sive and complete Guide and Assistant for those who desire to carry on Epistolary Correspondence ; Containing a large collection of model letters, on the simplest matters of life, adapted to all ages and conditions, EMBRACING, Letters of Courtesy, Friendship and Affection ; Letters of Condolence and Sympaih ; A Choice Collection of Love Letters, for Every Situation in a Courtship ; Notes of Ceremony, Familiar Invita- tions, etc., together with Holes ofA'j- ceptance and Regret. Business Letters ; Applications for Employment, with Letters of Recommendation, and Answers to Advertisements ; Letters between Parents and Children ; Letters of Friendly Counsel and Re- monstrance ; Letters soliciting Advice, Assistance, and Friendly Favors ; The whole containing 300 Sensible Letters and ITotes. This is an invalua- ble book for those persons who have not had sufficient practice to enable them to write letters without great effort. It contains such a variety of letters, that models may be found to suit every subject. Bound in boards, with illuminated cover and cloth back, 207 pages. Price . 50 Bound in cloth — -- 73 Martine's Hand-Book of Etiquette and Guide to True Politeness. A complete Manual lor all those who desire to understand good breeding, the customs of good society, and to avoid incor- rect and vulgar habits. Containing clear and comprehensive directions for correct manners, conversation, dress introductions, rules for good behavior at Dinner Parties and the table, uith hints on carving and wine at the table ; together with the Etiquette of the Ball and Assembly Room, Evening Par- ties, and the usages to be observed when visitincr or receiving calls ; deport- ment in the street and when travelmg. To which is added the Etiquette of Courtship, Marriage, Domestic Duties, and fifty-six rules to be observed m general society. By Arthttr Martine, author of *'Martines Sensible Let- ter Writer." Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price 50 CtS Bound in cloth, guilt sides. Price ..7S Copici of the above buoic4 scut tree of postage ou rccuipt of price. Madam Le Normand's Unerring Fortune-Teller' Containing the celebrated Oracle of Human Destiny, ©r Book of Fate being an accurate Interpreter of the Mystical Signs aad Heavenly Bodies; also embracing the French, Italian and English methods of Telling For- tunes with Curds, and a new and entertaining process of Fortune Telling with Dice ; also containing seventy-nine good and bad Omens, with their Interpretation, one hundred and eighty-seven Weather Omens, and i he Signitication of all the Male and Female Names in our language. This interesting and curious book was written by Madam Le Nokmand, the great French Fortune-Teller, who was frequently consulted by the E raper- or Napoleon, and it differs entirely from any other book published in this country. Those purchasing it will find it to bo a source of much entertain- ment and fun in the family circle. This book contains 144 pages, and is bound in pasteboard sides, with cloth back. It is illustrated with numer- ous engravings. It also contains a large Colored Lithographic Engraving of the Mystical Table, or Chart of Fate, which folds up. Price 40 Live and Learn : A guide for all those who wish to speak and write correctly ; particularly intended as a Book of Reference for the solution of diificuities connected with Grammar, Composition, Punctua- tion, &c., «S:c., containing examples of one thousand mistakes of daily oc- currence, in speaking, writing, and pror unciation. 216 pages, cloth, 12mo, Price .^_' «., 7o The Harp of a Thousand Strings ; or, Laughter for a Lifetime. A large book of nearly 400 pages. By the author of Mrs. Partington's Carpet-Bag of Fun. Bound in a handsome gilt cover. Containing more than a million laughs,, and crowded full of Funny Stories, besides being illustrated with over Two Hundred Comical Engravings, by Darley, McLennan, Bellew, &c. Price _ $1 50 Anecdotes of Love. Being a true account of the most re- markable events connected with the History of Love in all Ages and among all Nations. By Lola Montez, Countess of Landsfeldt. Large, 12mo, cloth. Price $1 50 Narratives and Adventures of Travelers in Africa.. By Charles Williams, Esq. 12mo, cloth, gilt back. Profusely illustrated with engravings. Price - $3 00 The Book of 1 ,000 Comical Stories ; or, Endless Be- past of Fun. A rich banquet for every day in the year, with several cours- es and a dessert. BILL OF FAKE : Comprising Tales of Humor, Laughable Anecdotes, Irresistible Drolleries, Jovial Jokes, Comical Conceits, Puuk and Pickings, Quibbles and Queries, Bon Mots and Broadgrins, Oddities, Epi- grams, &c., &c. Appropriately Illustrated with 300 Comic Engravings. By the author of *' Mrs. Partington's Carpet-Bag of Fun." Large"l2mo, cloth. Price $150 The Courtship and Adventures of Jonathan Homebred ; or, the Scrapes and Escapes of a Live Yankee. Beautifully lUustratec! 12mo, cloth. This book is printed in handsome style, on good paper, a- i with amusing engravings. Price $1 50 Etiquette and Usages of Society. Containing the most Approved Rules for Connect Conduct in Social and Fashionable Life — ^rith Hints to both GentlcmGU and Ladies on Awkward and Vulgar Habits. Also, the Etiquette of Love and Courtship, Marriage Etiquette, &c., &c., By H. P."WiLLis. A book of G4 pages. Price , 10 Bound in cloth with gilt side, and printed on fine paper, suitable for a pres- ent to aladv. Price — 50 Copi»3 ef ttic Roov-^^ ))0(>k* stii-vt fr.3 of posuiiv' oi i-cL-lrt < rj t -Popular Books sent Free of Postage at tlie Prices annexed. OUB CELEBRATED SSEIES OF DETECTIVE TALES AUB ADVEi^TURES The Diary of a Detective Police Officer. Tiiis batch of stories was also written by the famous London Detective "Wateks," and have ha i an immense sale. It is wonderful to read about tlie tncks. disi^uises and stratagems this shrewd ofliceremp oyed to accomplish his ex- traordinary arrests, and to brln^ a lot of cunn.n:? roirues to j ustice. Sumo- times '• Waters" gut into what is called " a tight place,'* and was glad to escape with his life ; but he generally managed to "nab " his prey before they found out who he was. This spienrhd book embraces twenty very in- teresting tales, written under the following titles : One Night in a Gam- ing-House; Guilty or Not Guilty; X. Y. Z.; The Widow; The Twins; The Pursuit; Legal Metamorphoses; Tiie llevenge ; Mary Kmgsford ; Flint Johnson; The Monomaniac; The Partner; The Conspiracy; Mark Stretton ; The Dramatic Author ; The Two Widows ; Mrs. Wirherton ; The Orphans; Helen Forsyth; The Stolen Letter, a Lawyer's Story. Lar-e octavo. Price _ 75 cts. Leaves from the Note-Book of a New York Detective; or, The Private Becordof J. B. Some of those are extraor- dinary stories, and ail o?:' them well toid. The book has the interest of a single stoi'y, with the advantage to the reader of being able to stop at the close of each iiart withuut annoyance. Of the relative merits of each tale it is difficult to speak, since they are s<^dtversj in character, 'ihere is something very excit.ng about these stories ; the reader partakes of the hopes and fears of the Detective as his prospect of success waxes or wanes, and enjoys a glow of satisfaction at his ultimate triumph. Some of the situations the Detective gets into are very perilous, for it is no joke to be in the clutches of a forger, counterfeiter, burglar or murderer, made desperate by the certainty of being punished if secured and delivered to the ministers of justice. Large octavo. Price - 75 cts. Strange Stories of a Detective; or, CuriosUies of Crime. There is something very thrilling and fascinating about these stories ; an I the immense sale this collection is having is an (jvidence of its popularity with the reading public. However startling the incidents may be, there is no improbability about them. Indeed, tlie book bears internal evidence of being a transcript of personal experience, or based on it; and many of the cases will be recognized by readers familiar with the Jinnals of the police. Thi-y ai-e all pictures of the time, and well painted at that. Large octavo. Price 75 cts. The Experiences of a French Detective. This is a collection of very startling stories, showing hoT>^ a shrewd French Detective outwitted a lot of cunning French ci'iminals. The adventures of the officer are very thrilling. The disguises and tricks he adopted to entrap the scamps he had to catch, and the hair-breadth escapes he made from dan- gerous situations, together with his ultimate success, furnish matter for a continued narrative that is dramatic in the extreme, and show that " Truth is stranger than Fiction." Large octavo. Price 75 cts« Autobiography of a London Detective. This series of powerful Tales is by *' Waters," who was a famous London Detective officer, and the book produced a great sensation when first published in England, the sale exceeding 100,000 copies. This work embraces seventeen Stories, all founded upon the facts that occurred in the eventful experience of this colcbrafcd Othcer. No person who loves cxcitins' rcadinjc phonld fail to get this intercbting book. Large octavo. Price 75 cts. S(3i}.d cash orders to Bids & Fltzgrarald, Kew York. Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annesed. TALES OF BORDER ADVENTURE. This splendid series of N'ovels embraces some of the most interesting Tales ever written about, "the Trappei's, Scouts and Indian Hunters of the boundless Western Prairies. These Novels abound in scenes of danger and border ad- venture, and show the cunning and cruelty of the treacherous Indian. To those who delight in reading about squatter life, Indian fights, and tho gal- lant exploits of our Western Rangers and Riflemen the books in this list will be a great treat. The following are the names of the books in the series : Silver Knifo ; or, The Hunters of the Rocky Mountains. By Du. Robinson. Price 25 cts Pepe, the Scout ; or, The Hunters of Sonora. Price..25 cts. Black Ha"wk ; or. The Banger* s Scalp. Price 25 cts. The H-QIlter'S Trail; or, The Indian' s Ruse. Price.. 25 cts. The Hanger's RiQe ; or. The Wolf of the War Rath. Price 25 cts. "War Axe; or, The Redskin's Revenge. Price 25 cts. Steel Arm ; or. The Robbers and Regulators of California. Price- '. 25 cts. Big G-Oliath; or. The Terror of the Mines. Price. 25 cts. The Hsgulators of Arkansas. Price 25 cts. Bill Johnson, The Outlaw of Arkansas. Price 25 cts. Hawson, The Renegade. Price 25 cts. The Red Scout ; or, The Outlaw's Revenge. Price... -25 cts. Red Jack; or, The Scout's Rifle. Price 25 cts. Byron Blonday ; or. The Blue Ranger. Price ..25 cts. The Ranger of Ravenstream. Price 25 cts. The Patrol of the Mountain. Price 25 cts. The Scout of the Silver Pond. Price 25 cts. The Hunted Chief; or, The French Ranchero. Price. .25 cts. The Prairie G-uide. A Tale of the War of 1812. Price - 25 cts. The Maid of the Saranac ; or, The Rose of the Rio Grande. Price - 25 cts. The Woodman's Rifle. Price 25 cts. Norwood ; or, Life on the Prairie. By Ned Buntline. Price 1 25 cts. The Red Right Hand. By Ned Buntune. Price. .25 cts. The Pale Lily. An Imlian Tale. Price 25 cts. On receipt of the. price, eWier in Cash or Stamps, copies of any of the above named books will be sent to any part of the United Statrs or Canadas, either by mail or express, securely and neatly packed, postpaid. Recollect ! any book you want you can have at the advertised price. Address DICK & riTZGEBJLn, ruhllshers, New Yorlt. Send cash orders to Dick Sc Fitzsrerald, New Tork. Popular Books sent freo of Postage at the Prices annexed. The Parlor Stage. A collection of Drawing-Eoom Proverbs, Charades aud Tableaux Vivants. By Miss S. A. Fkost. The authoress of this attractive volume has performed her taik with skill, talent, and wo might suy with genius ; for the Acting Charades and I'rovcrbs are really minor dramas of a high order of merit. There are twenty-four of thoni, and fourteen tableaux, all of which are excellent. The characters are ad- mirably drawn, well contrasted, and the plots and dialogues much better tlian those of many popular pieces performed at the public thetltres. Any parlor with folding or sliding doors is suitable for their representation (o)-, if there are no sliding or folding doors, a temporary curtain will answer). The dresses are all those of modern society, and the scenery and properties can be easily provided from the resources of almost any family residence in town or country. The book is elegantly got up, and we commend it heart- ily to young gentlemen and ladies who wish to beguile the long winter evenings with a species of amusement at once interesting, instructive and amusing. 368 pages, small oetavo, cloth, gilt side and back, beveled odtre**. Price $160 The Cdmbiiiation Fortnne-Teller and Dictionary of Dreams. Being a comprehensive Encyclopsedia, explaining all tHo different methods extant by which good and evil events, and questions of Love and Matrimony are foretold by means of Cards, Dice, Dominoes, Apple-parings, Eggs, Tea-leaves and Coffee-grounds ; also, prognostications by Charms, Ceremonies, Omens, and Moles, the Features and Fox-m, Linfs of the Hands, Spots on the Body, Lucky and Unlucky Days, etc: to whicli are added, a description of the Divining or Luck Hod, the Golden Wheel of Fortune, The Mystical Table or Chart of Fate, the Ladies* Love Oracle, Napoleon's Oracuium, the Language of Flowers, one hundred and eighty- seven weather signs, and a complete Dictionary of Dreams with their in- terpretations, containing 430 pages and illustrated with numeI•o^^s engrav- ings and two large colored Lithographs. The whole combining " Madame Le Noi'mand's Unorring Fortune-Teller," "Fontaine's Golden Wheel Fortune- Teller," and " Madame LoMai-chand's Fortune-Teller and Dreamer's Dictionary." il2mo., cloth. Price $1 25 De "Walden's Ball-Boom Companion; or, Danc- ing Made Easy. A Complete Practical Instructor in the art of Danc- ing, con,taining all the fashionable and approved Dances, directions for calling the Figures, &c. By Emile De Warden, Teacher of Dancing. This book gives instruction in Deportment, Rudiments and Positions, Bows and Courtesies, Fancy Dancing, Quadrilles, Waltzes, Minuets, Jigs, Span- ish Dances, Polka, Schottische, Galop, Deux Temps, Danish, Redowa, Varsorienne, Hop, &c., together with all the newest Waltzes and Quad- rilles in vogue. It also contains complete directions for all the figures of the celebrated " Gbuman," or Cotillion. Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 60 cts. Walker's Cribbage Made Easy. Being a new and complete Treatise on the game in all varieties ; inclnding the whole of An- thony Pasquin's scientific work on Five-Card Cribbage. By George Walker, Esa. This is a very comprehensive work on this Game, being the most complete ever written. It contains over 500 examples of how to dis- card, for your own and your adversary's crib. Small octaro, 142 pages, bound in boards, with muslin back. Price ---75 cts. Bound in cloth, gilt side. Price $1 00 Sut LiOVingOOd. Yarns spun by "A Nat'ral Born Dum'd Fool.'* Warped and Wove for Public Wear by George W. Harris. Il- lustrated with eight line full-page engravings from designs by Howard. This book is crammed full of the most laughable stories ever published. l2mo., tinted paper, cloth, beveled edges. Price $1 75 Send Cash orders to Dick & Fitzgerald, New York. Popular Books sent free of Postage at the Prices annexed. NEW SERIES OP ITOVELS ABOUT CELEBEATED HIGHWAYMEN & HOUSEBREAEEES. This thrilling now series of novels embraces the Romantic Exploits and Adventures of Tom Papox, Jack Sueppaiid, Dick Turpix, Claude Duval, Blueskin, and 'J cm King. All the vild, daring, and dashing scenes of rob- ber liie, from the most perilous and astonishing adventures on the highway, to the most exciting and curious incidents in the bower of love, are portrayed by the author of these thrilling narratives with a vividness of description that has never been excelled, either in the pages of Ainsworth or Reynolds. Over 250,0G0 of these works hare already been sold. The following are the novels contained in the new series : Captain Herring ; or. The Highwayman of Ep- pmgrPorest L ?. 25 cts. Jonathan Wild's Stratagem ; or, The Highway- man's Escape -T. L I -—25 cts. The Hangman of Newgate : or, The Highway- man's Adventure -T. 1 1 -—25 c"ts. Tom Bipon; or, The Highwayman and House- breaker. .„^^ 25 cts. Claude Dnval and his Companions ; or, The Race on the Boad 1 25 cts. The Highwayman's Ride to York ; or, The Death of Black Bess. 25 cts. BIneskin Bafiled ; or, The Highwayman's Trap. ^rice. : .,.± 25 cts. LIVES OF CELEEHATED HIGHWAYMEJ^. Clande Pnval, the Dashing Highwayman. Il- lustrated. Price 25 cts. Life and Adventures of Dick Clinton, the Mys- terious Eighwayman. Price 25 cts. The Adventures of Tom King, and the Story of Kis Homantic Life. Price 25 cts. Ned Scarlet, the Daring Highwayman. I'rice 25 cts. Captain Ha'WkeS.'j A Narrative cf llie Exploits of a Eobber Captain. Price 25 Cts. Paul Cliiford : or. The Reformed Hignwayman. Price : .25 cts. Fearless Fred. A Companion to Claude Duval. Price 25 cts. ^.♦^ The above scries of Xovels are all well illustrated vriih. intercstinj? en- gravings, and have beautiful covers, printed in colors upon enameled paper. Send Cash. Orders to Dick & Fitzgerald, New York. Popular Books sent Free of PcEtage at the Prices annexed. Marasche's Man^ial of Chess. Containing a description of the Board and the Pieces. Chess Notation, Technical Terms with dia- grams illustrating them, Relative Value of the Pieces, Laws of the Game, General Observations on the Pieces, Preliminary Games for Beginners, Fifty Openings of Games, giving all the latest discoveries of modern Mas- ters, with best games and copious notes. Twenty Endings of Games, show- ing easiest ways of effecting Checkmate. Thirty-six ingenious Diagram Problems and Sixteen curious Chess Stratagems. To which is added a Treatise on the Games of Backgammon, Russian Backgammon and Dom- inoes, tlie whole being one of the best Books for Beginners ever published. By N. Marasche, Chess Editor of "Wilkes* Spirit of the Times." Bound in boards, cloth back. Price _ 50 cis. Bound in cloth, gilt side. Price 75 cts. Book of HOTISeholcI Pets. Contrining- valnable in- structions about the Diseases, Breeding, Training and jSlanagemcnt of the Canary, JSIocking Bird, Brown Thrush, or Thrasher, Bluebird, Yellow Bird, Scarlet Tanager, Bobolink, Baltimore Oriole, European Blackbird, Blue Jay, Blue and Yellow Macaw, Carolina Parrakeet, Cockatoo, Green and Gray Parrot, and the rearing and management of all k'nds of Pigeons and Fancy Poultry, Rabbits, Squirrels, Guinea Pigs, "White Mice, and Dogs ; together with a Comprehensive Treatise on the Principle and Management of the Salt and Fresh Water Aquarium, with instructions how to make, lay the Foundation, and stock the Tank. Illustrated with 123 fine wood-cuts. Bound in boards, cloth back. Price. 50 cts. Bound in cloth, gilt side. Price 75 cts. Athletic Sports for Boys. A Eepository of Graceful Recreations for Youth, containing clear and complete instructions in Gym- nnstic. Limb Exercises, Jumpiny, Pole TiCaping, Dumb Bells, Indian Clubs, Parallel Bars, the Horizontal I5ar, The Trapeze, The Susr'endod Ropes, Skating, Swimming, Jlowing, Sailing, Ilorsemanship, Riding, Driving, Angling, Fencing and Broadsword. The whole splendidly illusti-atcd with 194 fine wood-cuts and diagrams. Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price - 75 cts. Bound in cioth, gilt side. Price - . 1 00 The Play-Room ; or, In-Boor Games far Boys and Girls; including Round Games and Forfeits, Slate and Board Games from the simple Gnme of Tit-Tat-To to the Scientific Gnme of Chess ; also numerous Table and Toy Games, together with a larg*^ collection of Evening Amuse- ments, Comprehending Comic Diversions, Parlor Magic, Ti-icks with Cards, Snentifio Recreations and Puzzles. Profusely illustrated with 107 fine wood- cuts. Bound in boards with cloth back. Price 50 cCs. Bound in cloth, gilt side. Price 75 cts. The Flay G-ronnd ; or, Out-Door Games for BoyF. A Book of Healthy recreations for Youth, containing over a hundred Amusements, including'Games of Activity and Speed ; Games with Toys, luO. hies, Tops, Hoops, Kites, Archery, Balls; with Cricket, Croqu-^t and Base-Ball. Splen- didly illustrated with 124 fine wood-cuts. Bound in boards, clofh back. Pric« r>0 «I8. Bound in cloth, giltside. Price 75 cts. The American Card Player. Containing clear and comnrehcnsi > f-diroctions forplaying the Games of Euchre, Whist, B6zi(iue, AllVours, French Fours, Cnbbage, Cassino, Straight and Draw I'okcr, Whisky Poker and Commercial Pitch, together with all the laws of those games. 150 pages, boT:nd in boards with cloth back. Price 50 cts. Bound in cloth, gilt side. Price 75 cts. Send Cash Orders to Dick & Fitzgtirald, New York. Chasterfield's Letter Writer and Complete Book OF ETIQUETTE; or, Concise Systematic Directions Jsr Arranging and Writing Letters. Also, Model Correspondence in Friendship and Business, and a great variety of Model Love Letters. If any lady or gentleman de- sires to know how to hegirh a Love Correspondence, this is just the book they want. If they wish to speak their minds to a tardy, a bashful, or a careless or indifferent lover, or sweetheart, this book tells exactly how it should be done. This work is also a Complete Book of Etiquette. You will find more real information in this book, than in half a dozen volumes of the more ex- pensive ones. It is emphatically a book for the million, and one which every young person should have. As it contains Etiquette for Ladies, as well as for Gentlemen — Etiquette of Courtship and Marriage — Etiquette for writing Love Letters, and all that sort of thing, it is an appropriate book to present to a lady. This book contains 136 pages, and is bound in pasteboard sides, with cloth back. Price , 40 cts. Brisbane's G-olden Ready Reckoner. Calculated in Dollars and Cents, bein:ji: a useful Assistant to Traders in buying and selling various sorts of commodities, either wholesale or retail, showing at once the amount or value of any number of articles, or quantity of goods, or any merchandise, either by the gallon, quart, pint, ounce, pound, quarter, hun- dred, yard, foot, inch, bushel, etc., in an easy and plain manner. To which are added Interest Tables, calculated in dollars and cents, for days and for months, at six per cent, and at seven per cent, per annum, alternately; and a great number of other Tables and Rules for calciilation never before in print. Bound in boards, cloth back. By "William D. Bkisbane, A. M., Accountant, Book-keeper, &c. Price 35 cts. Richardson's Monitor of Free-Masonry. A Com- plete Guide to the various Ceremonies and Boutine in Free-Masons' Lodges, Chapters, Encampments, Hierarchies, &c., &c., in all the Degrees, whether Modern, Ancient, Ineffable, Philosophical, or Historical. Containing, also, the Signs, Tokens, Grips, Pass-words, Decorations, Drapery, Dress, Regalia and Jewels, in each Degree. Profusely illustrated with Explanatory En- gravings, Plans of the Interior of Lodges, &,c. By Jabkz Richabdsox, A.M. A book of 185 pages. Bound in paper covers. Price 50 cts. Bound and gilt. Price — $1 00 This is the only book ever written which gives a detailed description jf the doings inside a Masonic meeting. 100 Tricks "With Cards. J. H. Geeen, the Reformed Gambler, has just authorized the publication of a new edition of his book entitled, ** Gamblers' Tricks with Cards Exposed and Explained.'* This is a book of 96 pages, and it exposes and explains all the Mysteries of the Gambling Tables. It is interesting, not only to those who play, but to those who do not. Old Players will get some new ideas from this curious book. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. Bound in boards with cloth back. Price 60 cts. Boxing Made Easy;, or, The Complete Manual of Self- Defense. Clearly Explained and Illustrated in a Scries of Easy Lessons, with some Important Hints to "Wrestlers. Price 15 cts. How to "Win and How to Woo. Containing Uules for the Etiquette of Courtship, with directions showing how to win the favor ci the Ladies, how to begin and end a Courtship, and how Love Lcttaru sbor.ld be written. Price - — - ......13 cts. CitfAea of ihe nbore books sent free of postage ^n recei|>l of wr 'o«. gO OD BOO KS. The Parlor Magician ; or, One Hundred Tricks for the Draw- ing'TOOTTi, containing an Extensive and Miscellaneous Collection of Con- juring and Legerdemain ; Sleights with Dice, Dominoes, Cards, Ribbons, Rings, Fruit, Coin, Balls, Handkerchiefs, et»., all of which maybe Per- formed in the Parlor or Drawing-Room, without the aid of any apparatus ; also embracing a choice variety of Curious Deceptions, which may be per- formed with the aid of simple apparatus ; the whole illustrated and clear- ly explained with 121 engravings. Paper covers, price 30 cts. Bound in boards, with cloth back-.— .-.. 50 ct». Book of Riddles and Five Hundred Home AznusementSf containing a Choice and Curious Collection of Riddles, Charades, Enigmas, Rebuses, Anagrams, Transpositions, Conundrums, Amusing Puzzles, Queer Sleights, Recreations in Arithmetic, Fireside Games, and Natural Magic, embracing Entertaining Amusements in Mag- netism, Chemistry, Second Sight, and Simple Recreations in Science for Family and Social Pastime, illustrated with sixty engravings. Paper covers, price — 30 cts. Bound in boards, with cloth, back 50 cts. The Book of Fireside G-ameS. Containing an Explana- tion of the most Entertaining Games suited to the Family Circle as a Re- creation, such as Games of Action, Games which merely require attention. Games which require memory. Catch Games, which have for their objects Tricks or Mystification, Games in which an opportunity is afiFdrded to display Gallantry, "Wit, or some slight knowledge of certain Sciences, Amusing Forfeits, Fireside Games for "Winter Evening Amusement, etc. Paper covers, price 30 cts. Bound in boards, with cloth back _ _ 50 cts. Parlor Tricks with Cards, containing Explanations of all the Tricks and Deceptions with Playing Cards ever invented, embra- cing Tricks with Cards performed by Sleight-of-hand ; by the aid of Mem- ory, Mental Calculation, «nd Arrangement of the Cards ; by the aid of Confederacy, and Tricks Performed by the aid of Prepared Cards. The whole illustrated and made plain and easy, with seventy engravings. Paper covers, price 30 cts. Bound in boards with cloth back .' 50 cts. Farlor Theatricals I or. Winter Evenings' Entertainment. Con- taining Acting Proverbs, Dramatic Charades, Acting Charades, or Drawing Room Pantomimes, Musical Burlesques, Tableaux Vivants, &c. ; with In- structions for Amateurs ; how to Construct a Stage and Curtain ; how to get up Costumes and Properties, on the ** Making Up " of Characters, Ex- its and Entrances ; how to arrange Tableaux, etc. Illustrated with Engra- vings. Paper covers, price 30 els. Bound in boards, cloth back 50 cts. The Book of 500 Cnriotis Puzzles. Containing a large collection of entertaining Paradoxes, Perplexing Decpption in num- bers, and AMiusing Tricks in Geometry. By the author of *^rhe Sociable," *♦ The Secret Out," <* The Magician's Own Book." Illustrated with a Great Variety of Engravings. This book will have a large sale. It will furnish Fun and Amusement for a whole winter. Paper covers; price $0 cts. Bound in boards, with cloth back 50 cts. DICK & FITZGERALD L^ lLD, 18 Ann St., N. Y. j Cople* of the abore books sent to anj address in lh« U. 3. free of postage on receipt of prlc«. GOOD BOOKS Sent ITreo of I^osta^e at th.e DPrioes MiarliecL. ^^•^^- » Le Marchand's Fortune Teller and Dream Book, -= — 85 cts. The Young Keporter ; or, How to Write Short Hand^ 35 * ' Brisbane's Golden Ready-Keckoner, ^ 35 ** The American Hoylej or, Gentleman's Book of Games, 2 00 " The Book of Riddles, and 500 Amusements, — - 50 ** The Parlor Magician, 200 Illustrations, 50 ** Parlor Tricks with Cards, 50 ** Hillgrove's Ball Room Guide, - 76 " Pettengill's Fortune Teller and Dream Book, 35 " Chesterfield's Etiquette and Letter Writer combined, 35 " Fontaine's Golden Wheel Dream Book and Fortune Teller, 85 '* Everlasting Fortune Teller and Magnetic Dream Book, 30 ** 100 Gamblers' Tricks with Cards Exposed, 25 " Willia' Etiquette and Usages of Society, 13 ** Richardson's Monitor of Freemasonary, - ---100 ** The Perfect Gentleman ; or, Etiquette and Eloquence, —1 50 ** The Ladies' Fortune Teller of Love, Courtship, and Marriage, - - — 30 * * How to Play Whist, Euchre, Loo, and Poker, .—13 '* Horse Taming, as practiced by J. E. Rarey, - 13 " Knowlson's Complete Farrier and Horso Doctor, 13 '* Al-Ma-Kan-Tur Circle ; or, How to Win a Sweetheart or Lover,"-25 " Book of Fireside Games for Home Amusement, 50 " Book of 500 Curious Puzzles, with 100 Illustrations, 50 '' The Secret Out ; or, 1,000 Tricks with Cards, 150 ** How to Mix Drinks, containing 800 Recipes,—- - —2 50 ** Chesterfield's Art of Letter- Writing Simplified,- 13 " The Laws of Love ; or. How to Conduct a Courtship,— - — 25 " How to Woo and How to Win ; or. Rules for Courtship, 13 ** Bridal Etiquette, with Rules for Bridesmaids, 13 " How to Behave ; or. The Spirit of Etiquette, 13 *' Mind Your Stops ; or. Punctuation Made Plain, 13 ** Dictionary of 8,000 Abbreviations, - 13 " Blunders in Behavior Corrected - 13 ** How to Talk and Debate, -— 13 '^ Ladies' Guide to Beauty, containing over 500 Recipes, - -25 " Ladies* Guide to Crochet. Cloth, Gilt, 1 25 ^* The American Home Cook Book, - .,...30^**^ Live and Learn ; or, 1,000 Mistakes in Speaking and Writing ^ Corrected, -•- 75 ' Morgan's Freemascnary^zpossd and Explained, 25 ** Boxing Made Easy, andHow toi^Wrestle, - 13 *' Courtship Made Easy ; or, the Art of Making Love fully Explained, 13 * ' Ladies' Guide to Beauty. By Lola MJpntez, 75 *' The Game of Checkers Simplified and Explained, - 50 " Sexxd Caslx Orders to DICK & FITZQ-ERALD, ^ Publisliers, No. 18 Ann Street, New York.