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 AROUND A SPRING. 
 BABOLAIN.
 
 LEISURE HOUR SERIES 
 
 BABOLAIN 
 
 A NOVEL 
 
 TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH 
 
 GUSTAVE DROZ 
 
 MS. 
 
 NEW YORK 
 
 HOLT & WILLIAMS 
 
 1873
 
 Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 187..', by 
 
 HENRY HOLT, 
 In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. 
 
 MIDDLRTON A CO., STEKBOTYP***, 
 KIDT.BrORT, CONN.
 
 BABOLAIN. 
 
 I. 
 
 To live one's own life, however humble it may be, 
 is a triumph. To have an instrument of one's own 
 and play upon it with ease ! And to think that so 
 many people have merely had the trouble of breathing 
 into this instrument to draw forth the most charm- 
 ing airs, while I have not even been able to find the 
 mouth-piece. 
 
 Yet it is not because I am completely devoid of 
 intelligence. I always had enough to grieve that I 
 possessed no more, which is something. Moreover, 
 being gifted to a certain extent with a critical judg- 
 ment and a spirit of analysis, I have formed opinions 
 regarding others and myself which were sometimes 
 perfectly just, but unfortunately never came in tim.e 
 to shed light upon my path and save me from errors. 
 I will venture to say that I never long ignored or 
 lost sight of myself. Through fear of ridicule-^this 
 dread was a perpetual torment to me I was always 
 uneasy, eager to examine my character, to sound the 
 depths of my nature; and almost the sole result of 
 these observations was to reveal the presence of the 
 most prodigious pride. It is incredible that a pas- 
 sion should have been able to penetrate so deeply 
 into the very groundwork of a poor man's existence. 
 
 Besides this, there was nothing, an,d yet many 
 
 932652
 
 2 BABOLAIN. 
 
 things. In my unlucky brain everything was disjoint- 
 ed, confused, and ready to fall. I have often exam- 
 ined my skull: it is irregular, ill -shaped, hump- 
 backed and I suppose there are hollows inside. 
 
 To sum up the whole, I was a pitiable and 
 I was going to say, a useless creature ! The blade of 
 grass that vegetates between two paving-stones has 
 its reason for existence, its little mission. By the 
 mere fact that I have lived, is it not clear, my God, 
 that Thou hadst reserved for me a place which I have 
 doubtless been unable to find, entrusted to me a part 
 I have failed to understand ? I do not complain. I 
 have had my joys, my share of sunlight, but how 
 many showers ! 
 
 My mother died the day after I was born, and six 
 years later, at the time of the great inundation of the 
 Loire, my father, who was a professor in the college 
 of Orleans, and from motives of economy occupied 
 a little house in the suburbs, was drowned. 
 
 As we grow old we involuntarily turn towards the 
 road already traversed ; one might say that the Past 
 pulls us by the sleeve. I can see again, as if through 
 a veil, my poor father, sickly and pale like myself, 
 adjusting his spectacles, or smoothing his hair with 
 his thin hand before confining it under his cap, which 
 he slipped on with the greatest care ; or else bending 
 his head with a faint, sad smile to the noisy authority 
 of his younger brother, my uncle Babolain, who lived 
 in the environs of Beaugency. Never were two per- 
 sons, united by ties so close, more unlike each other. 
 My uncle was as voluminous in mind and body as the 
 space morally and physically occupied by the author 
 of my clays was small. Endowed with wonderful vig- 
 or, which his labors as the owner of a vineyard devel- 
 oped still more, self-confident, trusting in his own 
 importance, rich, healthy, ruddy, spitting into his huge 
 plaid handkerchief which he held spread out before 
 him in his large hairy hands, crushing walnuts and
 
 B ABO LAIN. 3 
 
 hazelnuts by the mere pressure of his fingers, raising 
 barrels, and stiffening the muscles of his arms, which 
 in his good-natured moments he liked to have people' 
 feel he was a man on whom one could depend. 
 
 When he spoke or laughed, the hurricane that 
 escaped from his huge chest made the windows shake 
 and the ceiling tremble. Oh ! my poor dear father, 
 how little you resembled this hero, whose renown is 
 not yet extinct for ten leagues around Beaugency ! 
 My uncle always seemed to me a wonderful and 
 formidable person, who had a slight touch of the ogre 
 in him. 
 
 After all, in spite of his roughness, uncle Babo- 
 lain did all that he could for me. On leaving the 
 cemetery where my father had just been interred, my 
 uncle put over his dark green coat a large smock 
 frock, embroidered upon the collar, and covered with 
 a quantity of little buttons, arranged his handkerchief 
 over the crape floating from his hat, for it was raining 
 a little, and seizing me by the belt with one arm, de- 
 posited me in his cart, in the middle of the remnants 
 of my father's effects which they had succeeded in 
 saving. " To the left, on the bench, boy," he said, 
 in his gruff voice. My emotion made me awkward, 
 and my tears blinded me. He hastily got in himself, 
 spite of the creaking of the vehicle, which seemed 
 about to break, seized the reins, gave a peculiar 
 whistle, and the nag started at a rapid trot, to stop a 
 few minutes after at a harness-maker's shop. In 
 spite of my grief I was very glad of it, for uncle 
 Babolain had sat down upon my hand, and I felt a 
 very sharp pain at every jolt. We stopped several 
 times more before the shops, and at each place the 
 cart was filled with all sorts of things, my uncle hav- 
 ing taken advantage of the funeral, which brought 
 him to Orleans, to make numerous purchases. 
 
 When his business was at last completed, he 
 wrapped his huge limbs in an immense blanket,
 
 4 BABOLAIN, 
 
 cracked his whip gayly, and we entered the lonely 
 suburbs. The rain fell with redoubled violence ; the 
 houses soon became more scattered, and we were 
 in the open country, which was still covered with the 
 large yellow pools left by the inundation. It seemed 
 as if everything was crumbling around me ; the disas- 
 ters that surrounded me mingled with my own misfor- 
 tune, and through my sobs I bade farewell to the little 
 houses, the bushes, the trees, that glided by I would 
 fain have clung to them. 
 
 But I dared not stir on account of my neighbor, 
 of whom I was terribly afraid, and who glanced at me 
 from time to time as we look at an ill-packed bundle 
 we fear we may lose on the way. I pulled my cap, 
 from which the rain was dripping, farther over my 
 eyes, clasped my hands, and prayed to God with all 
 my heart. 
 
 I was drenched to the skin and shivering from 
 head to foot when, towards evening, we reached 
 Closerie. The horse was led into the barn, the cart 
 was unloaded, and my uncle ordered supper. My 
 appearance was doubtless very pitiable, for when he 
 saw me in the corner where I had taken refuge, his 
 face assumed an expression of genuine compassion, 
 and he sent me to bed at once. 
 
 I did not leave it for six weeks to a day, and then 
 was scarcely recovered from an inflammation of the 
 chest, which almost carried me off. I was, as may be 
 supposed, paler and more feeble than ever, which in- 
 creased my difficulties, for my uncle had an instinct- 
 ive aversion to invalids. I knew that he had never 
 been able to conceal from my father the contempt in- 
 spired by his delicate constitution, and I could not 
 expect greater indulgence for myself. Yet I made 
 great exertions, I will not say to get into his good 
 graces, for I carefully avoided him, but not to shock 
 the robust chubby beings by whom I was surrounded ; 
 I tried to eat like the farm children, play their games
 
 BABOLAIN. 5 
 
 bear their burdens and I had attacks of indigestion, 
 nearly broke my leg, and my natural awkwardness 
 deprived me of all respect. 
 
 Then instead of making amends for my defects 
 by qualities which I might perhaps have attained, 
 I became jealous of all whose only crime was that 
 of possessing a physical organization superior to 
 my own, and my unhappy pride coming to my aid, 
 I soon considered their advantages as so many inferi- 
 orities which increased my superiority all the more. 
 I lived in retirement, shutting myself up in my infirm- 
 ities as in a sanctuary inaccessible to the profane. 
 In short, after a few weeks of this detestable life, 
 when my uncle, who had had enough of his role of pro- 
 tector, told me that the college of Orleans had offered 
 me a scholarship in recognition of my father's servi- 
 ces, it seemed to me that this rehabilitation was really 
 due to the exceptional merit of my despised intellect. 
 I entered the college like a conqueror. I was at 
 last going to live with my equals ! Poor dear father, 
 why were you not near me with youi gentle words 
 and kindly glance ! 
 
 Was it my dress, which certainly was a little pe- 
 culiar, since no one had taken any care of it for a long 
 time ; or was it my person ? I did not know, but one 
 thing is certain, I instantly excited the merriment of 
 my companions. When it was known that I was the 
 son of that droll pere Babolain, the merriment in- 
 creased to mad laughter ; the little scamps fairly went 
 into convulsions. They sang couplets of which the 
 dead man was the hero, declared that I looked like 
 him, in fact was his very image ; little pere Babolain 
 certainly was not dead, he had only grown young 
 again and become a pupil to atone for his past life as 
 a professor. 
 
 My new comrades certainly did not suspect the 
 deep sorrow they caused me ; people are cruel only 
 through ignorance ; but at that time I had suf-
 
 6 BABOLAIN. 
 
 fered too little to understand all this. At the even- 
 ing recess, directly after supper, my resolution was 
 formed : without the slightest hesitation I planted 
 myself stiff and straight directly in front of one of 
 the boys who had made most fun of me. He was 
 one of the largest and strongest ; I had chosen him 
 on account of his height, so that he was at least a 
 head taller. Yet every drop of blood in my body 
 receded to my heart, and I really thought I was facing 
 death. 
 
 " Monsieur," said I, stammering violently from 
 emotion, " Monsieur, I won't have my family insulted, 
 and you you shall not do it." 
 
 I must have been very comical, for I instantly 
 heard the abominable laugh which had welcomed me 
 that morning, and pursued me, alas ! so long. 
 
 " My little old man," said my adversary, merrily 
 patting my cheek the bystanders stamped with de- 
 light " you will get thrashed if you don't behave 
 yourself." 
 
 " You shall ask papa's pardon," I cried, rising on 
 tiptoe and knocking my companion's hat a long dis- 
 tance off. Almost at the same instant I received a 
 violent blow in the face, which made me lose all self- 
 control ; I rushed forward and struck furiously with 
 both hands and feet, without seeing or hearing any- 
 thing. I know not how long this contest lasted, for 
 I did not recover my senses until I found myself 
 in a bed in the infirmary, whither they had carried 
 me. I was covered with compresses, the sheets 
 were stained with blood, and when I tried to move 
 I felt a terrible pain towards the end of my right 
 arm. 
 
 "Ask God's pardon, my child," murmured the 
 Sister of Charity who was standing near me with the 
 doctor ; " perform an act of contrition." 
 
 "The devil, the devil ! pardon me Sister ; the lu- 
 natic has dislocated his wrist," said the doctor gruffly.
 
 B ABO LAIN. 7 
 
 " That's what people get when they fight with walls, 
 little savage." 
 
 It seems that in my fury, to the great delight of 
 the lookers-on, I had really attacked the wall and 
 bruised myself against the stones. 
 
 I remained in the infirmary a long time, and was 
 very dull, for the cause which had brought me there 
 was not one to arouse any sympathy for me. The 
 principal had not concealed the alarm which my per- 
 verse instinct inspired in him for the future, and 
 everybody undoubtedly considered me a most dan- 
 gerous person. One evening when the Sister of Char- 
 ity brought my porridge and leaned over me to shake 
 up my pillow, my heart suddenly swelled with such 
 gratitude that, throwing my sound arm around her, I 
 embraced her, bursting into tears. She hastily drew 
 back with sincere indignation, her face flushed deep- 
 ly, and from that time I was nursed by a dirty 
 boy who had a very disagreeable smell. The deser- 
 tion of the kind Sister caused me deep pain ; another 
 punishment which I did not understand ! I vaguely 
 imagined that she had felt an insuperable disgust 
 towards me, caused partly by my natural ugliness, 
 and partly perhaps by some infirmity with which I 
 was unconsciously afflicted. Still I never dared to 
 ask her how I had offended her; besides, I had no 
 time to do so, for two days after they sent me back 
 among my companions, still bruised and very weak, 
 but determined to bear everything from them. 
 
 There is a certain consoling joy in self-imposed 
 humility, it is the strength of the weak to bend 
 without complaining, to envelope themselves in in- 
 difference, take refuge in themselves and be able to 
 say : here I am master. It contains a triumph which 
 flatters vanity and lulls resentment to sleep, for the 
 human soul is so constituted that the feelings born in 
 it must balance each other; and the little victories 
 we obtain within make us forget the defeats sustain-
 
 8 BABOLAIN. 
 
 ed without : we have chains on our feet and laurels 
 in our pockets. 
 
 I rushed into study as one throws himself into 
 the water, from despair, and did so well that, after 
 a few months labor, I was at the head of the class. 
 Then the cruelties to which I had been compelled to 
 submit gradually ceased, and they contented them- 
 selves with making fun of me. What a sensation of 
 comfort I felt ! 
 
 II. 
 
 One Sunday evening I had as usual spent the 
 holiday entirely alone my next neighbor in the class, 
 who was singing merrily, ran against me on the stair- 
 case leading to the dormitory. This young fellow's 
 name was Timol6on, and he was numbered among 
 the most influential personages in the division. Tall 
 sturdy, skilful in every game, with thick fair hair sur- 
 rounding a face as laughing and rosy as a girl's, his 
 eyes beamed with an expression of such bewitching 
 frankness and jollity that he was beloved by every- 
 body, and although one of the wildest received the 
 fewest punishments, yet no one dreamed of wonder- 
 ing at it. Moreover, this spoiled child was extreme- 
 ly idle ; but he might have made even laziness at- 
 tractive by the joyous grace with which he bore his 
 ignorance. 
 
 " I have brought you something that will please 
 you, little old man, r said he, placing in my hands a 
 package containing two brioches. 
 
 I was so unaccustomed to such proceedings that 
 at first my embarrassment was extreme, and I con- 
 fess it with regret I felt an emotion of distrust. 
 Dogs which have been too much beaten run away 
 when they are called. 
 
 " Why do you give me this ? " I murmured.
 
 BABOLAIN. 9 
 
 "To please you, of course. You never go out, 
 my poor little old man, nobody comes to see you, and 
 you haven't a cent." 
 
 " I do not complain." 
 
 " I have been a longtime in discovering what you 
 really are don't put your old spectacles on the end 
 of your nose. Look here, Babolain," it was the first 
 time that a fellow-student had called me by my name 
 " shall we be friends ? Say, do you agree ? " 
 
 I was touched to the very depths of my heart. I 
 had never supposed that any one could address such 
 sweet words to me, and murmured : " Then you are 
 not afraid of bringing annoyances upon yourself by 
 getting intimate with me ? " 
 
 He drew himself up proudly like the brave, gener- 
 ous fellow he was. 
 
 " Annoyances ! I should like to see any one find 
 fault with what I do, or touch a hair on the head of 
 him whom I call my friend. Give me your hand, is 
 it agreed." 
 
 " Oh ! yes, I will never forget this, Timol6on, no 
 never." 
 
 " Good-night, little old man." 
 
 "Good-night, Timoleon." 
 
 I quickly got into my bed, and when I had lain 
 down, slowly set about eating a whole brioche. I 
 was hungry and happy. 
 
 Our intimacy, which never died out, for Timoleon 
 has always played a part in my life, began in a way 
 that greatly annoyed me ; the third day after this fa- 
 mous Sunday he carelessly asked me to write his 
 composition. He requested it as he would have beg- 
 ged me to lend him a ball, or pass him the carafe ; I 
 saw that he attached no importance to it, and I lov- 
 ed him too well, was too grateful to him, to refuse a 
 service he valued so little, but it was very painful to 
 me ! I was timid, easily alarmed, a slave to discipline 
 and my conscience told me plainly : " what you are do-
 
 IO B ABO LAM. 
 
 ing is dishonest and wrong." Yet I committed the 
 error, and regularly almost every week he made me 
 repeat it, without my daring to tell him, even once, 
 how much it troubled me. How heartily the great 
 child who never saw evil in anything would have 
 laughed if I had confessed my scruples. Dear Tim- 
 oluon ! He always said : " Heavens ! how stupid you 
 are, little old man. Come, be quiet, or I will leave 
 you ! " I was always wrong I loved him so much, 
 having no one but him. 
 
 We were afterwards separated when I entered the 
 normal school, but we did not lose sight of each other. 
 He even came to see me, although he was then very 
 much engrossed by the pleasures of the Quartier Lat- 
 in, with which he became a little too much intoxica- 
 ted. Ah ! well, in spite of that he came to the in- 
 firmary of the school to see his little old man. 
 
 Such things are not forgotten. The sickness I 
 had on entering the normal school was caused by the 
 over-work I had imposed on myself during my last 
 years at the college. My mind was so slow, and I 
 had so many barriers to surmount before I could be 
 a professor ! Thank God, the prize I won in mathe- 
 matics gained me protectors ; my uncle Babolain, who 
 came to see me crowned, slipped ten francs into my 
 hand, the mayor of the city embraced me, and pub- 
 licly spoke of the future due to my talents. If he 
 had known by what terrible exertions I had obtained 
 that crown, he would have doubted my talents as 
 much as I drd myself. However that may be, the 
 excellent man semi-officially promised me a pension 
 of three hundred francs, if the city, which was already 
 greatly involved in debt in consequence of the re- 
 pairs of its sewers, could undertake this new burden. 
 
 The good city never could ! However, I was au- 
 thorized to remain at the college in the capacity of 
 usher, which enabled me to prepare for my examina- 
 tion without having recourse to any one's charity.
 
 B ABO LAIN. 1 1 
 
 I had a charming little room, high up under the old 
 roof. True, its temperature was torrid in summer, 
 and freezing in winter, but through the little dormer 
 window I could see the sky between two tall brick 
 chimneys, the tossing branches of an old poplar tree 
 and at night what superb moonlight effects there 
 were upon the old roofs ! In this lodging I have ex- 
 perienced the purest and most perfect joys of my 
 life. I had dazzling visions of happiness by the light 
 of the little confessional lamp the almoner had given 
 me, and whose wick I was obliged to raise with a nail, 
 the machinery being broken. The goal seemed to be 
 drawing near. I caught glimpses of the beloved 
 diploma, a hundred times more desirable than the 
 throne of France. Happiness is really desire and 
 hope ; the thing ardently wished for is only a coarse 
 canvas which the man embroiders according to his 
 fancy: the enjoyment is in the act of embroidering, 
 the needle is of gold or steel, the threads of wool or 
 silk, the tapestry may be large or small, insignificant 
 or wonderful, what does it matter ? The man has en- 
 joyed the more the larger portion of himself he has 
 put into his work, the greater the number of stitches 
 in which he has left a fragment of his life. 
 
 Perhaps it would have been better if my efforts 
 had been less passionate ; I should not have fallen 
 sick when I entered the normal school, and my suc- 
 cesses being less rapid, I should not have been blinded 
 by the foolish pride which took possession of me. I 
 believed myself a remarkable person, and at the 
 same time the wounds of former days re-opened with 
 still greater pain than in the past ; for in becoming a 
 mathematician I had not changed either my manner 
 or my face. The jeers of the normal school, though 
 less brutal than those of the college, were no less 
 cutting; on the contrary, they were directed with a 
 surer hand, attacked more accurately and penetrated 
 deeper.
 
 12 BABOLAIN. 
 
 I had now had too unexceptionable proofs of 
 my intelligence not to believe myself very witty, 
 and although it cost my timidity dear, I tried to de- 
 fend myself and bring the laughers over to my side. 
 I was to be pitied. It must be confessed that my 
 face ill suited my subtle retorts : never was mirror of 
 the soul more intractable than mine. My unlucky 
 features were like the keys of an old worn-out harp- 
 sichord, from which Liszt himself could have drawn 
 nothing but discordant sounds only fit to make every 
 body run away. 
 
 Moreover, I had other vexations, having reached 
 that troublesome age when new horizons open be- 
 fore the mind, and the soul is assailed by an indefin- 
 able restlessness. The triumphant air of Timol6on, 
 whom I saw at rare intervals, the studied elegance of 
 his dress, the pleasures of his life, which he reveal- 
 ed with coquettish reticence, inspired me with min- 
 gled terror and jealousy. I knew very well that his 
 life could not be mine, but none the less did I divine 
 from it a world of emotions whose existence my in- 
 nocence had never before imagined, and which at- 
 tracted while terrifying me. The desire to conceal 
 my agitation augmented my shyness. On the few hol- 
 idays my labor allowed me, having neither relatives nor 
 friends to visit, I wandered through the great city of 
 Paris, with dilated nostrils and sparkling eyes, ever 
 ready to shudder ; it seemed as if my person would 
 attract every glance, that everybody would read in 
 me where will pride hide itself and in this crowd 
 where no one knew me, my constant care was to pre- 
 serve my incognito. 
 
 Ah ! well, in spite of all this, or perhaps because 
 of it, I was always attracted towards the most fre- 
 quented places. Aristocratic elegance intoxicated 
 me with admiration. I watched it as a hunter lies in 
 wait for his game. At certain moments, I believe I 
 would have given my prize for mathematics and my
 
 BABOLAItf. 13 
 
 title as a student in the normal school, to be one of 
 the horsemen I saw riding down the avenue of the 
 Champs Elys^es at a hand-gallop ; to possess the 
 natural grace, the ease, the courtly bearing, no labor 
 can acquire ; to mingle with the brilliant society I de- 
 voured with my eyes from a great distance, as I 
 walked along the dark, damp avenue which borders 
 the terrace of the Tuileries. My heart bounded in 
 its ugly case, and all the women yes all, seemed to 
 possess a superhuman beauty. 
 
 Sometimes the temptation to approach them was 
 so great that, buttoning my coat with a resolution I 
 thought heroic, I penetrated into the very centre of 
 the crowd. My situation then became intolerable. 
 
 I was like a man walking through fireworks with 
 a pack of hounds at his heels. I thought I heard 
 bursts of laughter falling in showers upon my head, 
 felt every eye fixed upon me, caught my legs in the 
 children's hoops, stepped upon dresses, jostled old 
 gentlemen, and abashed and flurried, fled back into 
 the dark avenue from whence I ought not to have 
 emerged. 
 
 It might be supposed that after this I should wish 
 for nothing but some lonely spot in which to hide 
 my shame ; but this was not what I felt : scarcely had 
 I left these enchanting scenes when I once more 
 breathed freely, my step regained its assurance, and 
 I discovered treasures of audacity within my soul. 
 " Ah ! next time I certainly will not be so foolish ! " 
 
 I have spent my life in repeating this simple little 
 phrase. 
 
 When we have manipulated mathematical ab- 
 stractions a long time, the formula becomes the gold- 
 en key that unlocks all secret places, those of the 
 heart as well as others, and we always have this gold- 
 en key hung around our necks. Quietly and logic- 
 ally we make ourselves infallible, and then go forth 
 into the world with our caps on- our heads, and apiece
 
 14 BABOLAIN. 
 
 of chalk in our hands, ready to make a positive in- 
 ventory and note down the emotions. 
 
 Although too hesitating and timid to give way to 
 this eccentricity entirely, I was not wholly a stranger 
 to it ; once in the school again, I regained my former 
 place, the air I breathed possessed an indefinable 
 power to strengthen me ; I saw things from a higher 
 stand-point ; was no longer suffocated by feeling, but 
 conquered it ; and the impressions I had received 
 from without seemed like physiological accounts, 
 like the different terms of an equation to be solved. 
 The realization of my mad aspirations was nothing 
 more than a problem, like any other, which could not 
 long perplex an intellect, trained as mine had been, to 
 the processes of an infallible logic, and I said to 
 myself ; " To be also a man of the world and take my 
 share in these tempting delights, what is the sum total 
 of all I need ? A new hat, and a pair of gloves, 
 nothing more." 
 
 Thank God, I was delivered from this absurd pre- 
 occupation of mind by my examination, which I 
 passed very creditably, and immediately after which, I 
 was appointed professor of mathematics at Carcas- 
 sonne. 
 
 The emotion I felt in the diligence which convey- 
 ed me to my own new post can be understood only 
 by conquerors. It is impossible to be more vain- 
 glorious than I was then. Of course the whole city 
 was expecting me, and people were saying to each 
 other: " Is he tall or short, handsome or ugly ? " 
 
 I decided beforehand upon my manner and the 
 phrases I would use when I entered the principal's 
 study, and practised the intonations of my voice 
 amid the rattling of the carriage which served as an 
 accompaniment. It was all lost trouble : my arrival 
 at Carcassone was as far from being a triumphal one 
 as possible. In a pouring rain, which somewhat 
 damped my enthusiasm and drenched my clothes
 
 BABOLAIN. 1 5 
 
 through and through, I followed the porter who had 
 taken possession of my little trunk. Without the 
 slightest hesitation he conducted me to a second- 
 rate inn, where, on the strength of my appearance, 
 they instantly gave me a room in the garret, although 
 I had been unable to resist the pleasure of writing on 
 my trunk : Monsieur Babolain, professor in the col- 
 lege of Carcassonne ! 
 
 The series of disenchantments to which I was 
 forced to submit were not sufficient to wholly dispel 
 my intoxication ; in vain did my pupils receive me 
 with most indecorous hilarity; in vain did the princi- 
 pal, a man of superb physique, measure me from 
 head to foot for three good minutes without conceal- 
 ing the surprise excited by my personal appearance 
 in spite of all this I remained a conqueror ; I reso- 
 lutely grasped my sceptre, and began my course of 
 lectures ; I wished to have it surpass all expectations. 
 
 These occupations and the prodigious inflation of 
 my pride, which prevented me from distrusting my 
 powers, momentarily delivered me from my worldly 
 dreams ; and it was only towards the close of the 
 first year of my professorship that the moral restless- 
 ness, from which I had suffered at school, again mani- 
 fested itself: my career had henceforth no farther ob- 
 stacles for me ; in spite of the want of discipline 
 among my pupils ; my course of lectures was highly 
 esteemed, I was established in life, I had a title, a 
 situation, my glance was steady, my judgment infal- 
 lible, I already possessed a pre-arranged system in 
 regard to human passions in short, I had gloves ! 
 Had not the moment come for me to penetrate into 
 the ideal of life, to loose the reins of my heart, which 
 was still bounding unsubdued, unhappy heart! and 
 take my share of the pleasures of this world ? 
 
 Yes, the moment had indeed come. At the slight- 
 est wish I might manifest for them, the invitations 
 which, until now, I had not dared to accept, would
 
 1 6 BABOLAIN. 
 
 certainly be renewed ; the families of my pupils would 
 eagerly receive me ; the principal, the mayor, and 
 many others would stand upon their thresholds with 
 smiling lips to welcome me; I felt assured that I had 
 only to present myself. 
 
 My sentimental walks began anew, but were dis- 
 turbed by very different causes from those of former 
 days, for 1 was now well known in the city my per- 
 sonal appearance was not one of those which can 
 pass unobserved notoriety overwhelmed me. 
 
 This provincial city with its meannesses, certainly 
 is not the theatre which is suited to me, I thought to 
 myself, and regretted Paris, where I should have been 
 less noticed, more master of myself, less laughed at 
 in case of failure. On that vast stage I might have 
 been able to work my way into the crowd, and enter 
 society without attracting too much attention my 
 diffidence was returning. Providence was pleased 
 by it, for one morning I received a huge letter stamp- 
 ed with the seal of the ministry, and containing my 
 appointment as titulary professor in the college of 
 Saint Louis. 
 
 While strapping my valise to return to the capital, 
 I said to myself: " If only fate does not have too 
 heavy a hand, and pledge the future by the excess of 
 its present favors." I was terrified. How much more 
 so should I have been if I could have known what 
 was reserved for me in the immediate future ! I still 
 shudder when I think of the violence of the blow by 
 which I was overwhelmed. 
 
 I had been in Paris two or three months, and 
 taken possession of my new professorship, when sud- 
 denly, without any one's having the least anticipa- 
 tion of it, my uncle Babolain, the vine-dresser of 
 Beaugency, stumbled and glided into the tomb, leav- 
 ing me, very involuntarily, an income of at least 
 twenty-five thousand livres. I was the only relative 
 of the deceased, and he had made no will.
 
 BABOLAIN. 1 7 
 
 Stronger heads than mine might have been shak- 
 en ; at first I was thunder-struck, then like a snail 
 that has been startled, began to feel my way, while a 
 pleasant warmth pervaded my frame from head to 
 foot, and I seemed to myself like a man who, stun- 
 ned without being wounded, on regaining his senses 
 stretches himself in a nice soft bed. Poor uncle 
 Babolain ! 
 
 After the delicious calm that followed the first 
 shock, the intoxication of such wealth suddenly burst 
 forth ; I had not previously understood that the doors 
 of a brilliant future were thrown wide open before me. 
 Henceforth I was tall, I was handsome, I was strong, 
 did I know exactly what I was now ? I seized my 
 cane, pulled my hat over my eyes without any of the 
 caution habitual to me, and went out to breathe the 
 fresh air. Paris no longer wore the same aspect, I 
 possessed it all, how many surprises and delights I 
 was going to enjoy. 
 
 Yet the devilish critical judgment, the gift of ex- 
 act analysis that would never lie dormant in my brain, 
 made me perceive that I was entering a ridicu- 
 lous path, but it was in a manner so confused 
 that it did not wound me ; it seemed as if to a certain 
 extent my critical intellect bore a grudge against all 
 humanity, so that while looking at apple-green cravats 
 and Russia leather dressing cases in the shop win- 
 dows, I was humming: " Man is, really, nothing but 
 a box of follies, really, really/' 
 
 When, after taking a great many steps, I again 
 found myself in my humble little room seated before 
 a large bag of crowns I had brought from the bank 
 myself at that time gold did not run about the 
 streets I thrust my hands into my pockets and began 
 to philosophize. I would no longer be the dupe of 
 my emotions like any ordinary parvenu ; I intended 
 to be ignorant of no portion of my character, to 
 keep the reins and whip in my own hands, and not let 
 2
 
 1 8 BABOLAIN. 
 
 my horses mount into the driver's seat. What have 
 I done, I said to myself, to deserve this wealth, which 
 perhaps might have turned my head if I had not been 
 a man of science and sound reasoning faculties; 
 what have I done to deserve these dangerous favors ? 
 On the whole, I have been no more unfortunate than 
 others ; or at least many others have been more un- 
 fortunate than I. Well, well, let us analyze ( I al- 
 ways distrusted my first impulse), let us analyze ; 
 thanks to my nature, which is good at bottom, very 
 good, I have always known how to find the best side 
 of things, avoid useless complaints, and content my- 
 self with almost nothing. How many people in my 
 place would have cursed their fate ! I must acknow- 
 ledge that my childhood was a little hard terribly 
 hard what horrible years I had been forced to en- 
 dure ! Have I ever had in my life any pleasures 
 worthy of the name ? No, never. You have never en- 
 joyed yourself, my poor Babolain, and my past moved 
 rapidly before my mind. I remembered the long 
 damp galleries of the college and the school, the 
 gloomy walls, the grated windows, the toiling like a 
 galley slave, rny obstinate struggles, and the cruel isola- 
 tion during the holidays while my companions were 
 happy with their relatives. Had I forgotten the jeers, 
 the abuse, my poverty, my perplexities ? Must I not 
 have possessed a certain nobility of nature, must not 
 my heart have been incapable of rancor or jealousy 
 to have the proximity of all these people, who were 
 so much happier than myself, disturb me no more ; to 
 enable me to remain the friend of Timoleon, for in 
 stance, who was such a privileged character? He 
 was tall, strong, and handsome ; I was short, puny, and 
 ill-formed. He was rich, flattered, petted ; I roughly 
 used. I was poor ; he made game of me, and yet 
 for years I wrote his translations and exercises, and 
 solved his problems. Did he even thank me ? Great
 
 B ABO LAIN. 19 
 
 God, how many troubles ! To be frank, Providence 
 really owes me some compensation. 
 
 I opened my bag, took out a handful of coins, 
 filled all my pockets with them, and went out to get 
 my breakfast at a famous restaurant. 
 
 I had not reached the end of the street when I 
 stopped short and said to myself: "Can I, by chance, 
 have a base soul, is it possible that I am already con- 
 taminated ! I, who wish to read the hearts of others, 
 what is taking place in my own ? I have been a rich 
 man only a week, and already I am making a pedes- 
 tal of imaginary woes to prove to myself that this 
 fortune is a reparation which is owed me." I was 
 shocked. " Well, wretch," I added, striking myself on 
 the chest, " you shall breakfast on a roll this morning." 
 
 I turned abruptly to the right and entered a ba- 
 ker's shop. 
 
 A thin pale woman, accompanied by two children, 
 was in the shop standing with downcast eyes before 
 the baker's wife, who was saying in a very loud tone : 
 " I'm sorry, but you've already got round me too of- 
 ten. What does Monsieur want ? " 
 
 " I thought my husband would get about sooner," 
 replied the poor woman ; " when he is able to work 
 again, we'll pay you for everything." 
 
 " Oh ! yes, you've no lack of good reasons, I 
 know that very well, but if I hadn't been ridiculously 
 tender hearted I shouldn't have opened an account 
 with you, and you wouldn't have run in debt to me. 
 I ought to refuse for your own good. It is really for 
 your good, it is for their good, Monsieur." 
 
 " Does she owe you much money ? " I asked. 
 
 " For her, yes Monsieur ; she owes me twenty-five 
 or thirty francs. How can these people pay thirty 
 francs ?" 
 
 " Here they are," said I, placing the six crowns 1 
 had put into my pocket, on the counter, and hastily 
 making my escape, for my position was very embar-
 
 2O B ABO LAIN. 
 
 rassing : might it not be supposed that I had done 
 this merely from pride, and to make a parade of my 
 money, when it was only from indignation against 
 myself? I walked on, murmuring: "Have you ever 
 wanted bread, fool, wretch, scoundrel, parvenu ? " 
 
 The pale woman who had followed me, cried : 
 " My good gentleman, my good gentleman, pray let 
 me thank you." 
 
 I stopped short and said in a stern tone : " I am 
 not a good gentleman." 
 
 " Oh ! God will reward you." 
 
 Hastily and angrily I put all the money I had left 
 into her hand, and then fled to find some secluded 
 spot where I could analyze the sensations I had just 
 experienced. 
 
 On the whole, prosperity was a long time in re- 
 storing calmness to my mind ; it even seemed to me 
 that I had never been more agitated by these alterna- 
 tions of confidence and terror, in which my life was 
 wasting away. 
 
 The more ardent my desires became, the less pos- 
 sible seemed their practical realization. My critical 
 judgment clearly proved to me that in the lofty posi- 
 tion in which I now found myself, my ridiculous in- 
 experience was a more formidable obstacle than ever : 
 1 was no longer permitted to be a simpleton and excite 
 laughter ; it was too late to run the risk of a first ap- 
 pearance ; precisely because I had solid theories con- 
 cerning the play of human passions, I dreaded the 
 consequences of my smallest actions the more. I 
 would fain have meddled with these questions of the 
 heart, in which I was longing to show myself, but I 
 feared lest I should be awkward, compromise my- 
 self, and cover myself with shame. In that case 
 should I not have been like a commander-in-chief 
 who dishonored his epaulettes by obstinately making 
 the attack at the wrong time. The few timid attempts I 
 made to come out of rav shell had no other result than
 
 B ABO LAIN. 2 I 
 
 to lead me to re-enter as fast as possible the accursed 
 prison where I was beginning to devour myself. 
 
 In the first hours of my delight I had hired on the 
 Quai Voltaire a large suite of apartments in accord- 
 ance with my position, but before taking possession, 
 when in imagination I saw myself with my small figure 
 and insignificant air, wandering through the great 
 drawing room; when I heard the sneering laughter of 
 my valet and my cook; when I thought of all the 
 ridiculous things that would be rendered conspicuous 
 by this magnificent frame, I instantly took a sheet of 
 blank paper, and gave notice that I should not want 
 the rooms after the end of the quarter. 
 
 It was the same with everything else. 
 
 Even my dress occasioned me unheard-of per- 
 plexities. 1 had a quantity of new clothes in which I 
 had never ventured to go out, and whatever care I 
 might take in arranging every detail of my toilet, it 
 was very seldom that on perceiving me, kind-hearted 
 Timoleon, whom I had met again more brilliant than 
 ever, did not say, shouting with laughter : " Have you 
 got yourself up for a scarecrow, my little old man ? " 
 The words were harsh, but perfectly excusable from 
 his lips : he had such exquisite taste in dress. What 
 a charming cavalier ! How bewitching he was with 
 his follies, his ease, and his mirth! I do not mean to 
 say that I was jealous, but he always left me a little 
 more thoughtful than before. About this time he 
 often borrowed small sums of me. I was always 
 troubled about it, I grieved that he should have to ask 
 me for these trifles ; it did not seem to be in the 
 natural order of things that he should be under obli- 
 gations to me. He dazzled me, I was always timid 
 in his presence. Doubtless that is why I never dared 
 to confess my sorrows and sufferings to him. Yet I 
 think he guessed them, for he once said to me : 
 "How foolish you are, not to be happy, ray little old 
 man."
 
 22 BABOLAIN'. 
 
 " But I am happy, my dear fellow, very happy." 
 " You ! Can't one read perturbation, anxiety, con- 
 straint in your whole person, your words, your move- 
 ments, your face, which is wrinkled like an apple, 
 nay even in your outlandish costume. Comical fel- 
 low ! " He looked at me steadily a few seconds, and 
 then continued : " You are clumsy and bold, simple 
 and complicated, artless and assuming, intelligent 
 and very stupid. You won't bear me a grudge, I am 
 going to run away." 
 
 Bear him a grudge ! He must have really loved 
 me to have taken the trouble to watch me so closely. 
 
 III. 
 
 A short time before the year 1830 the garden of 
 Luxembourg was an immense park, with cool dark 
 avenues, separated from the nursery, still called the 
 Close of the Carthusian friars, by a small low wall 
 upon which I liked to rest my elbows. From this point 
 one could overlook the whole enclosure. A pleasant 
 odor pervaded the air and came to you in whiffs; the 
 pear and apple trees groaned under the weight of 
 their fru;t ; the clematis and bind weed climbed over 
 the hawthorn ; and the vegetables grew wonderfully. 
 Under the roof of the well, a philosophic horse, with 
 bandaged eyes and pensive mien, turned a crank, the 
 water Mowed into distant trenches, and you could see 
 a fine rain issue from the red copper watering pots 
 and fall upon the cabbage leaves with a noise that re- 
 sembled l he distant roll of a drum. 
 
 After sunset, when the bluish tints of evening be- 
 gan to envelope all nature, this Close, which the Car- 
 thusians seemed to have left only the evening before, 
 had an irresistible charm. Moreover, nothing checked 
 the vagrancy of the imagination : the coaches and 
 miserable one-horse chaises of Fontenay-aux-Roses,
 
 B ABO LAIN. 23 
 
 whose stand was in the old Rue d'Enfer, had ceased 
 their rattling it seemed as if one was a hundred 
 leagues from Paris. The Rue de 1'Ouest then resem- 
 bled a road laid out through the open country ; the 
 houses on it were very much scattered, small, and 
 buried in foliage; everything was calm, quiet, restful. 
 What a peaceful life the good Carthusians must have 
 led! 
 
 Sometimes I fancied I could see them and their 
 monastery : yonder was the mill upon its little emi- 
 nence overlooking the corn-fields, there the cemetery 
 where the priests came to meditate, the empurpled 
 vineyard, the huge trellises, and large cool cellars cov- 
 ered with tiles and thatched, and among all these 
 things the friars with their long beards and shaven 
 crowns, raking the hay, or devoutly tying up the salad. 
 
 This dream was dispelled by the murmurs of the 
 violins at the Grande-Chaumiere, from whence the 
 sound of joyous rigadoons was borne by the west 
 wind. Meantime the cows, indifferent to these gaye- 
 ties, slowly approached the little wall, and their driver 
 ascending the steps of the staircase in his large 
 wooden shoes, took through the grating the bowls the 
 lovers of good milk eagerly held out to him. 
 
 On this evening I perceived among the group of 
 milk drinkers a tall, broad-shouldered young gentle- 
 man, whom I recognized immediately. His delicate 
 moustache was boldly twisted, his fair curling locks 
 fell upon the velvet collar of his closely fitting over- 
 coat, which buttoned very high in the neck, his tight 
 light-colored pants extended in the shape of a gaiter 
 over a very pointed boot ; a huge silk handkerchief 
 fluttered around his neck, and a large black felt hat 
 with slightly rolling brim gave this handsome young 
 fellow the air of a cavalier of the time of Louis 
 XIII., who had accidentally stepped from his frame. 
 
 Before and very near him, for the gentleman was 
 gaining ground every instant, stood a young girl with
 
 24 BABOLAIN. 
 
 a retroussee nose and sparkling eyes. She had placed 
 her work basket on the top of the wall, and with up- 
 raised arms and head thrown back was drinking some 
 milk. Nothing could be prettier than the blooming 
 cheek and saucy little "nose half lost in the snowy 
 contents of the cup. Unperceived by any one, I 
 watched all that passed. 
 
 The Louis XIII. cavalier was apparently murmur- 
 ing some very interesting and amusing things into her 
 ear, for the young girl, between two mouthfuls, sud- 
 denly burst into a fit of laughter which revealed her 
 white teeth and scarlet lips, to which the little drops 
 of milk were still clinging. When the nectar was all 
 imbibed, the nape of her neck bent so prettily, and 
 her arms curved with so much grace, that the young 
 man, becoming more enterprising, said to her in a 
 louder voice, looking at her caressingly, with his 
 handsome blue eyes : 
 
 " Paque Dieu ! what a charming ear to kiss ! 
 Elvire, my beauty, do you hear the violins and flutes ? 
 Let us forget our sorrows, and dance. Afterwards 
 we'll sup on some root and weep for love, will you, 
 fair lady ? " 
 
 As the grisette held her empty bowl in her hand, 
 the gentleman twirled his moustache, and turning to- 
 wards the man in the wooden shoes, cried : 
 
 "Holloa! Master Orsini, devil's innkeeper! hol- 
 loa ! my rude shepherd, take this lady's cup instantly." 
 
 While the milk drinkers murmured indignantly, 
 the young girl said with great dignity : 
 
 "But Monsieur, I do not know you; leave me, 
 Monsieur, leave me." 
 
 "You don't know me, Elvire ? Ah! cruel girl !" 
 
 " My name is not Elvire. Come, come, 1 have had 
 enough of your tomfoolery. I never saw you before 
 in my life, you take me for somebody else. I am Mad- 
 emoiselle Julie of the Passage Dauphine, and you 
 shall know that my character is stainless, Monsieur."
 
 BABOLAIN. 25 
 
 So saying, she took up the basket she had placed 
 on the wall, and went away with a rapid step, full of 
 modesty and seductive grace. 
 
 The gentleman was undoubtedly going to rush 
 forward in pursuit, when he felt some one pull him 
 by the sleeve, and turning angrily, suddenly burst in- 
 to a laugh. 
 
 " Well ! What do you want of me, you confound- 
 ed little old man?" said he. "Do you happen to be 
 my rival ? " 
 
 " I ? Ah ! Tiraoleon ! come this way, I entreat 
 you, in the name of our old friendship resist the 
 eagerness of passion for a moment ; I implore you 
 my dear friend at your age this conduct " 
 
 I was very much agitated, for people were looking 
 at us, and at the same time, the unheard-of follies to 
 which Timol6on had just delivered himself up, grieved 
 me deeply. Perhaps he was going to allow himself 
 to be dragged down one of those fatal slopes whose 
 full danger I had measured in my dreams. 
 
 He suffered himself to be led into the Avenue de 
 1' Observatoire, and when we had taken a few steps, 
 suddenly placed his hand on mine, and said : 
 
 " Why are you eating your cane ? " 
 
 I really was in the habit of raising the head of 
 my walking stick to my lips when embarrassed. With- 
 out saying a word, I put it under my arm. 
 
 " Good," he continued, " and now you are fidget- 
 ing with your spectacles. Do you want to devour 
 them too ? Calm yourself, Babolain, and explain 
 your scandalous conduct." 
 
 " You know how I love you, my dear Timoleon. 
 Well I thought it was my duty to interrupt you be- 
 ing assured that you would be grateful to me after- 
 wards People were looking at you I wanted to save 
 in a word, your dignity ; therefore " 
 
 It was with difficulty that I found words to ex- 
 press myself when in Timoleon's presence, but I was
 
 26 BABOLALV. 
 
 utterly confounded when he said in a grave, stern 
 tone, which I had never heard from his lips : 
 
 " Monsieur, you have dealt my heart one of those 
 wounds which between gentlemen 
 
 " Upon my honor, Timoleon, I did not intend to 
 wound you." 
 
 " Good Heavens, how silly you are, little old man ! 
 Don't you see I'm joking. I begged you not to eat 
 your cane." 
 
 " If I had offended you, I should be the first to 
 apologize, you may be assured, for " 
 
 " You are an angel of frankness ; I love you ; say 
 no more about it. Do you know what will cause me 
 a perpetual sorrow ? The dryness of your heart." 
 
 Without asking myself if this was also a jest, I 
 was deeply moved by the accusation. It was false, 
 utterly false, but appearances were against me. He 
 pitilessly continued : 
 
 " You are astonished because at my age I have 
 preserved that freshness of feeling, that thirst for 
 tenderness, that facility of emotion, which are the 
 most precious treasures of the human soul. You are 
 astonished because the velvety neck oi the Elvire 
 from whom you have just snatched me thrilled my 
 heart ; you are amazed at all this, you ugly little pro- 
 fessor, wasting your life in galloping around the nar- 
 row circle of practical realities ! And suppose, in 
 my turn, I am amazed at your icy indifference, oh ! 
 profound logician, withered heart." 
 
 " But, my friend, I understand love," I murmur- 
 ed earnestly. 
 
 " He understands love ! And he treats as mad- 
 men those who drink at its vivifying spring. Don't 
 you see, child, that in this holy youthful ardor, this 
 worship of woman, there is something more than 
 the pleasure of the senses ; it is the soaring of the 
 soul towards that ideal which is a ray from God Him- 
 self."
 
 BABOLAIN. 27 
 
 I did not understand very clearly, but I was en- 
 raptured by Timol6on's ardent poesy. 
 
 " Yes, I admit that passion," said I I was trying 
 to rise to his height " passion is a necessary power 
 in the moral mechanism. But just as a body drawn 
 by two inverse attractions '' 
 
 " Spare me your scientific porridge, Babolain. I 
 am not, thank Heaven, a scholar like yourself, capa- 
 ble of putting God into a formula, weighing my tears 
 in a pair of scales, and measuring every pulsation of 
 my heart. I arn only a poor fellow, who is full of 
 aims and weaknesses. I have not the self-control you 
 possess, but I have faith in the Divine mercy, and I 
 believe, like Pere Enfantin, in the rehabilitation of 
 the flesh ; like him, I believe that all morality is con- 
 tained in the worship of woman, for in her eyes we 
 shall see truth." 
 
 " Truth itself cannot dispense with demonstration, 
 and reasoning seems to me " 
 
 " I reason with my heart. I am one of those per- 
 sons who seek their moral development, and, so to 
 speak, the purification of their hearts, in the suc- 
 cession of the different love affairs Providence sup- 
 plies." 
 
 " What, you have loved them all ! " I murmured 
 in amazement, for I had a vague knowledge of the 
 considerable number of his successes. He answered 
 with perfect frankness : 
 
 " Why, of course I have loved them all ; were it 
 not for that I should be the most contemptible of 
 rakes. I am one of that class of persons authorized 
 by Pere Enfantin to bind themselves only by a suc- 
 cession of momentary marriages ; I condemn exclu- 
 sive alliances, which are the negation of love and the 
 debasement of the race." 
 
 " But, Timoleon, these are strange theories which 
 must be subjected to a severe analysis, for after all, 
 it is "
 
 28 BABOLAIN. 
 
 He stopped, clapped me roughly on the shoulder, 
 and said : 
 
 " If you want to go in, you must go and get your 
 ticket, little old man." 
 
 " What ticket, TimolSon ? " 
 
 I raised my head, for I was absorbed in my reflec- 
 tions, and saw before me a grave policeman in whose 
 helmet, as in a mirror, was reflected a whole pano- 
 rama of orange trees and lanterns. I was standing 
 upon the very threshold of the Grande-Chaumiere, 
 which had always inspired me with a secret terror. 
 I shuddered from head to foot. 
 
 It must be confessed that often, in former days, 
 before entering the normal school, and even after my 
 return to Paris, I had followed the fast young men 
 going to the scene of their pleasures with a 
 troubled glance; and while wandering around this 
 infernal Paradise, had seen above the wall the 
 chariot from the Russian mountains noisily bear- 
 ing away a pair of lovers clasped in each other's 
 arms. I had gazed with an eager eye down the ave- 
 nue, carpeted with yellow sand, and adorned with li- 
 lacs and orange trees, at one end of which fluttering 
 skirts gleamed through a luminous cloud. I knew 
 the policeman perhaps the father of a family who 
 kept guard at the door ; I had envied him, I had also 
 pitied him with all my heart, while thinking of the 
 numberless temptations consequent upon his office, 
 but I swear upon my honor I had never approached 
 him. My present situation was even more painful : 
 I, titulary professor of the royal college of Saint- 
 Louis, established in the world, possessed of a char- 
 acter that claimed respect, I at the threshold of this 
 door ! 
 
 " Well, do you mean to come in or not ? You 
 are stopping the way, and the policeman is getting 
 angry." 
 
 1 was going to answer as I ought, when two very
 
 BABOLAIN. 29 
 
 elegant ladies, accompanied by a gentleman, passed 
 rapidly by on the other side of the boulevard. The 
 gentleman looked at me for a moment with an ex- 
 pression of doubt, hesitated an instant, then turning 
 with a discreet smile waved his hand in a friendly sa- 
 lute. 
 
 " Great Heavens ! Timoleon, my friend, I have 
 been recognized," I cried, pressing his arm violently. 
 
 " What's the matter, what is it, little old man ? " 
 
 " You see those ladies, who " 
 
 " Do you know them ? " 
 
 "Who have just passed? no, I don't know them." 
 I was choking. 
 
 " Well then ? " 
 
 " I know the gentleman, it is Prudent de la Sarthe. 
 Oh ! my friend." 
 
 " Prudent who ? " 
 
 " De la Sarthe. I am lost." 
 
 And I rushed after the two ladies and their at- 
 tendant cavalier, to whom I wished to prove my inno- 
 cence. 
 
 When I think over all this, it seems astonishing 
 that the meeting should have so deeply disturbed me. 
 Had I an instinctive premonition of the never end- 
 ing consequences it would entail upon me? 
 
 IV. 
 
 It was at the Od6on, where I went very often, that 
 I had made the acquaintance of Prudent de la Sarthe, 
 a very accomplished man about fifty years of age, 
 and a most brilliant conversationalist. People called 
 him an artist, but to tell the truth, I never saw in his 
 studio, to which he was so kind as to admit me, either 
 brush or paints. His whole work consisted of little 
 sketches, which were very remarkable it seems, but al- 
 ways appeared to me extremely confused. However,
 
 30 BABOLAIN. 
 
 my opinion is unimportant, for I was then totally ig- 
 norant of all questions relating to art. He worked 
 upon papers of all colors, prepared with the utmost 
 care. The tint of these papers, their grain, their 
 thickness, their stiffness, the quality of the pencils, 
 the composition of the liquids by whose aid he ren- 
 dered his work permanent, were a constant care to 
 the skilful artist, of which he often spoke to me. He 
 even asked one day for special information upon the 
 subject of an unchangeable white, whose constituent 
 elements he had been seeking for twenty-five years. 
 This had not prevented him from inventing with the 
 greatest ease several very ingenious little machines : 
 pincers with springs, pegs for easels, self-shutting 
 pencil-cases, and many other things whose impor- 
 tance did not at first appear. But when, as a pro- 
 fessional man, he discussed the importance of these 
 wonders, he did it with so much learning and author- 
 ity, knew so well how to call to his aid the memory 
 of the great masters and the future of French art, 
 that these questions suddenly increased to unprece- 
 dented proportions, and even the little sketches whose 
 execution had been the cause of so much research, 
 assumed a magisterial importance. Moreover, Pru- 
 dent de la Sarthe was thoroughly well educated, court- 
 eous, a man of the world, protesting by the simplici- 
 ty of his dress against the extravagant eccentricities 
 of the romanticists, and priding himself very justly 
 on being a wit. 
 
 Having an inclination towards the analysis of 
 things, and being gifted, as I have already said, with 
 a critical judgment, I took great pleasure in this in- 
 structive and charming conversation, which opened 
 horizons of art hitherto unknown. 
 
 It was wonderful to see with what intellectual ease 
 he flitted from one subject to another, and whether 
 he entered into the study of the works of Corneille, 
 or gave me curious hints regarding the manufacture
 
 B ABO LAIN. 31 
 
 of drawing paper in the time of Leo X., always 
 showed himself to be a superior person. 
 
 True, at first my somewhat slow intelligence found 
 it difficult to follow the rapid changes of his. He 
 sometimes smiled at it. 
 
 The peculiar, and to a certain extent, respectful 
 esteem in which I held Prudent de la Sarthe, explains 
 the eagerness with which I rushed in pursuit of him 
 at the time of our meeting before the Grande-Chau- 
 miere. But in spite of all my efforts it was impossi- 
 ble for me to find him : the boulevards were then 
 very dimly lighted, my sight was poor, and doubtless 
 there was also some fatality about it. I was com- 
 pelled to return home very sad and anxious. 
 
 The following morning I went to his studio, but 
 he was absent ; and it was not until the third day that 
 I met him at the Odeon, occupying his usual seat : I 
 took the place beside him. He instantly held out 
 his hand in a cordial manner, which somewhat re- 
 stored my confidence. I saw plainly that he did not 
 despise me. 
 
 " Well, my young friend," he said smilingly with a 
 bantering air that sent a shudder through my whole 
 frame, "how have you been since the other evening? 
 you terribly sad dog ! " he added confidentially, 
 pressing my hand still more affectionately. 
 
 " I assure you upon my honor," said I, " that I 
 was there by accident, entirely by accident. You 
 must perceive that in my position even if my prin- 
 ciples in my position, I was saying, I should not ex- 
 pose myself certainly not, consequently, Good 
 Heavens, I looked for you for half an hour to excul- 
 pate myself in your eyes, to assure you that chance 
 alone " 
 
 " All this is a matter of no consequence, my dear 
 friend. Besides, don't excuse yourself too much, for 
 this apparent escapade has done you no harm, far 
 from it, in the eyes of those two ladies."
 
 32 B ABO LAIN, 
 
 " The two ladies who accompanied you ? " 
 
 " Exactly." My friend's pink, smooth-shaven 
 face fairly beamed. 
 
 " But then they actually believed I was going to 
 enter that " 
 
 The learned artist became very grave, and with 
 that authority of tone which no one ever contested, 
 murmured, "One of those ladies is Evelina Paline, 
 the other is Esther Paline, her daughter." 
 
 I waited an instant, hoping that he would add a 
 few explanations to this revelation which gave me no 
 information whatever ; but he remained silent, and I 
 replied: 
 
 " Ah ! indeed, ah ! I did not know, I did not sus- 
 pect that those ladies were My story is both very 
 simple and very extraordinary. I met one of my 
 friends in the Luxembourg, and while talking we fol- 
 lowed the avenue " 
 
 " The fact is, that to see them pass in their simple 
 dress, one would not suspect that they are two of the 
 most distinguished, the most remarkable women, not 
 only on account of their beauty," he smiled mean- 
 ingly and played with the bow of his cravat, " but 
 far more from their elevation of mind and heart, 
 their appreciation of art, their They spoke of you 
 at least three or four times in the course of the even- 
 ing. You have made a conquest of them, my dear 
 fellow." 
 
 " A conquest of them. I can't believe it you 
 are certainly making fun of me." I felt that I was 
 blushing. 
 
 " I have so little idea of joking that I have given 
 my word to introduce you to these ladies some Mon- 
 day evening. Their receptions are not formal, pre- 
 ten'.ious affairs, as you may imagine : it is a purely 
 intellectual circle. Artists, literary men, people of 
 taste and culture a most charming set. They dis- 
 cuss painting, music, art, take a cup of tea, and
 
 BABOLAIN. 33 
 
 that is all. Seriously, I have promised to take you 
 there." 
 
 It really seemed to me that Prudent de la Sarthe 
 was not making game of me. The adventure was 
 marvellous. "Why," murmured my frightful pride, 
 " why should not these very superior ladies have dis- 
 covered the far from commonplace qualities of your 
 mind ? Do not your career, your title, your position, 
 prove your moral worth? Why should this worth es- 
 cape keen eyes ? These are no frivolous, ignorant 
 fashionable women, who judge a man by the cut of 
 his coat. Besides, your dress is perfectly presenta- 
 ble. Come, Babolain, incorrigible trembler, lift up 
 your head at last, the occasion is a solemn one ; rise 
 to the height of the circumstances." 
 
 Pride told me all this, so that I answered with sur- 
 prising ease : " No one can be more sensible of your 
 kindness than myself. The ladies' indulgence over- 
 whelms me, and I do not know how to tell you 
 but" 
 
 " Oh ! no buts. I have given my word ; you are 
 expected, and in fact I came here this evening solely 
 to look for you." 
 
 " What ! to look for me ? It is impossible. Oh ! 
 no, no To look for me ? " 
 
 " Of course. Isn't this Monday ? Take your hat, 
 the interval between the acts is nearly over." 
 
 How was it that resistance seemed impossible, 
 that the impassable gulf which had always separated 
 me from society was suddenly filled up, and having 
 taken my hat, I obediently followed the artist. 
 
 Mme. Paline and her daughter occupied a very 
 plain house on the Rue Saint Sulpice. On reaching 
 the door, my companion took the lead and we as- 
 cended a narrow, ill-lighted staircase : I was agitated 
 as if at the approach of a formidable examination ; 
 yet the staircase seemed like a good omen, it could 
 only lead to patriarchal surroundings ; what. I dreaded 
 3
 
 34 BABOLAIN. 
 
 most in the world, was a huge drawing-room blazing 
 with lights, and a tall footman loudly shouting my 
 name; a scene I had often witnessed on the stage of 
 the Odeon. 
 
 My conduct is all marked out, I thought to my- 
 self, as I mounted the stairs : I must be very simple, 
 yet unaffected in my manners, a little distant, as be- 
 seems a learned man, but affable and courteous. 
 
 " The apartments occupied by these ladies are by 
 no means stately," said Prudent de la Sarthe, stop- 
 ping before a large watered ribbon which hung beside 
 the door, and served as a bell-rope. " Among artists, 
 you know, one does not find the showy luxury with 
 which the upstarts of the Faubourg Saint Honor6 
 adorn themselves ; but you are a man of sufficient 
 taste to appreciate all that." 
 
 A fat cook, with a very respectable air, opened the 
 door for us, and we entered the ante-chamber. It was 
 evident at once that this was no ordinary dwelling : 
 the window represented a glass painting in the style of 
 the middle ages. The walls were concealed under a 
 multitude of engravings, statuettes, and articles of 
 every description ; and upon a narrow table, covered 
 with a piece of black velvet, whose edges, cut in regu- 
 lar indentations, hung down all around it, a rose-col- 
 ored candle was burning by the side of a pair of 
 snuffers in wrought copper, on which the sun of Louis 
 XIV. was represented. Above the table hung a Ven- 
 etian guitar and a fragment of a cuirass, while over- 
 coats and umbrellas were piled in one corner. 
 
 I had never seen anything of the kind, except in 
 the curiosity shops in which I had happened to glance, 
 and could not restrain a gesture of surprise, which did 
 not escape my companion's notice. "These ladies 
 are passionately fond of archaeological souvenirs," 
 said he; " but let us go into the studio, they assemble 
 there because they can talk more freely." 
 
 The noise of conversation proved in fact that
 
 BABOLAIN. 35 
 
 people were speaking without restraint. This studio 
 was distinguished from any ordinary room only by 
 the profusion of different ornaments accumulated in 
 it. Scattered in every direction were pictures with- 
 out frames, and frames without pictures, plaster hands 
 and feet suspended by strings, fragments of flowered 
 stuffs of odd designs drooping like conquered pen- 
 nons, flower-pots, a warming-pan one or two cen- 
 turies old, rusty swords all manner of things, and on 
 the mantel-piece a large metal bust, shining like a 
 stove funnel. Six or eight gentlemen, the majority 
 of whom wore very long hair, were looking at a pic- 
 ture of tolerably large size, placed upon an easel. 
 
 Scarcely had the fat cook announced me, when 
 Mme. Evelina Paline, approaching, held out her hand 
 with the most gracious affability. I was embarrassed 
 for a moment, for I had been unable to get on the 
 thumb of my glove, and was hiding my right hand in 
 the bottom of my hat ; but I hastily decided to give 
 her my left, and made a tolerably successful bow. 
 " You are very welcome, Monsieur," said she ; " pre- 
 sented by our dear Prudent de la Sarthe, you are 
 already numbered among our friends," then turning 
 towards the rest of the company, while I was seeking 
 some appropriate words with which to answer her : 
 " Gentlemen," said she, " Monsieur Babolain, one of 
 our most distinguished chemists." 
 
 " No Madame, pardon me no." 
 
 " And modest too ! oh ! we shall see." 
 
 It was not modesty, but a very natural desire not 
 to adorn myself with a title that did not belong to me. 
 
 " I have never made any special experiments in 
 chemistry," I murmured, " never ; consequently " 
 
 "Art and science are sisters." 
 
 " Yes, but not being a chemist, I should not like 
 it would be very painful to me if people " 
 
 " Hush, hush ; we must not interrupt the meet- 
 ing. The historical landscape my daughter intends
 
 36 BABOLAIN. 
 
 to send to the Exhibition this year is now being crit- 
 icised." 
 
 She placed a ringer covered with rings upon her 
 lips, and condescended to bestow upon me a smile 
 whose charm I could not describe. This lady cer- 
 tainly realized the type of nobility and beauty. I do 
 not think I exaggerate in speaking thus. A consid- 
 erable amount of flesh, beneath which any ordinary 
 woman would have been overwhelmed, was in her 
 only an advantage, an attraction the more. Covered 
 with lace, necklaces and jewels, she glided over the 
 floor with majestic ease, while the long train of her 
 dress respectfully followed her. Grace and elegance 
 were revealed in her slightest movements. At last I 
 was in established social relations with a woman of 
 the world ; I was seated by her side ; she showed 
 sympathy for me. Could Timoleon, such an excel- 
 lent man in spite of his follies, say as much ? The 
 somewhat fantastic apartments, which had at first sur- 
 prised me, grew poetic. It seemed impossible that 
 the unfinished pictures by which I was surrounded 
 should not possess great artistic value ; that the objects 
 of every description should not be extremely costly ; 
 the absence of all luxury, the want of ceremony that 
 reigned in the drawing-room, gave it a character whose 
 value could only be appreciated by the fastidious, and 
 persons initiated into all the refinements of art. 
 
 As to Mile. Esther Paline, who remained motion- 
 less among her judges, my poor sight prevented my 
 seeing her distinctly, and I dared not take out my 
 large eye-glass, but it seemed to me that she had her 
 mother's admirable profile. She was rather thin, as 
 well as one could judge under the immense dressing- 
 gown of nacarat velvet draped about her figure. Her 
 hair, carelessly twisted on the top of her head, was 
 fastened by a huge shell-comb put in awry. 
 
 While I was trying to see more, Mme. Paline bent 
 towards me and murmured :
 
 BABOLAIN. 37 
 
 " You will excuse us for receiving you in our 
 studio costume, won't you ? Among artists my 
 Esther has been working to-day until the very last 
 moment. She changed all her first plans in two 
 hours." 
 
 I dared not ask the meaning of these words, which 
 I did not understand, and merely bowed. She con- 
 tinued : 
 
 " The poor darling was fairly worn out. I even 
 think she had a slight feverish attack; consider that 
 she was obliged to stop to put it into the frame, and 
 the abominable frame did not come. I leave you 
 to imagine the state of mind she was in ! To-mor- 
 row will be the last day, as you know. Don't you 
 think the dear child has grown excessively pale ? " 
 she added, raising an exquisite little pair of gold eye- 
 glasses. 
 
 As my spectacles did not enable me to form an 
 opinion upon Mile. Esther's pallor, I followed her ex- 
 ample and drew my glasses from my pocket. 
 
 " You are apparently very near-sighted, like my- 
 self." 
 
 " Oh ! I can see very well now. Besides, at this 
 distance I " 
 
 " Exactly like me. My sight is so variable that it 
 baffles all the oculists. That is what made me give 
 up painting." 
 
 " Ah ! then you paint ? " 
 
 " Yes, yes, oh ! a great deal ; without rising to my 
 Esther's genius however, but I never felt the least 
 shadow of jealousy of her, the dear, beautiful darling. 
 Besides, as I told you, my career was destroyed by 
 the freaks of my sight. Alas ! we poor women are 
 exposed to so many trials in life. First the sorrows 
 an ill-assorted marriage entails " 
 
 A deep sigh, which was undoubtedly the echo of 
 heavy griefs, escaped her lips. 
 
 " The incessant tortures which stifle and crush art
 
 38 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 as well as science, demand the whole soul, my dear 
 Monsieur. And then," she added in a confidential 
 tone, " there are some nervous, delicate natures which 
 cannot bear the too frequent assaults of maternity ; I 
 was fortunate not to pay with my life for trials beyond 
 my strength, and to get off with this weakness of the 
 eyes which compels me to wear glasses constantly. 
 Oh ! I should be three-quarters dead if it were not for 
 my eye-glasses. Ah ! well, in this world we need 
 philosophy." 
 
 I bowed respectfully. Meantime I had suc- 
 ceeded in seeing the young artist's face. 
 
 " Not knowing your daughter's usual complexion," 
 said I, " it is difficult for me to " 
 
 " She is the only one left to me of three children, 
 so what I feel for her is not affection, but idolatry. 
 It might be supposed that I am proud, that her talent, 
 her reputation no, oh ! no." 
 
 " Undoubtedly I think she is really rather pale, 
 but it is impossible for me to know whether she is 
 more so than usual, having no standard of compari- 
 son." 
 
 Mme. JPaline started, and putting her beautiful 
 hand upon my arm, exclaimed : 
 
 "Why do you talk of my Esther's pallor? Oh! 
 God ! do you perceive any symptom of illness, any 
 alarming token ? Oh ! speak, I implore you ! My 
 daughter is so beautiful, so good ; her soul is so lofty ! 
 Do not fear to tell me all. I am strong." 
 
 Poor mother ; she was trembling. 
 
 "Yes, I am strong. You doctors foresee the 
 future." 
 
 " But, Madame, I am no doctor, I 
 
 "And it is my affair, Monsieur, it is my affair." 
 
 " I am grieved to be the involuntary cause of your 
 emotion, Madame ; I was merely answering the ques- 
 tion you did me the honor to ask a few moments 
 ago. ' Do you not think my daughter has grown some-
 
 BABOLAIN. 39 
 
 what pale from overwork ? ' you said. I was answer- 
 ing that." 
 
 " Ah ! yes, pardon me ; am I mad ? I still shud- 
 der at that idea of sickness ! I asked you a ridicu- 
 lous, senseless question I don't know why I talk to 
 you as if you were a friend of twenty years' standing ; 
 it seems as if I had always known you. It is very 
 wrong ; pardon me." 
 
 " Pray believe, Madame, that the confidence with 
 which you honor me " 
 
 It cannot be imagined how difficult it is to finish 
 a sentence that has been awkwardly begun. I was 
 touched by Mme. Paline's disclosures: how much 
 feeling and delicacy there was in this noble heart, so 
 quick to take the alarm ! And the aristocratic inco- 
 herency of this ever-changing, brilliant, delightful con- 
 versation, the inimitable grace, the simplicity of this 
 drawing-room, where the most famous artists assem- 
 bled ! No, my dreams had not reached this ideal. 
 
 " But let us be quiet," murmured my companion* 
 " hush ! Cirbec is going to give his opinion at last. 
 I am as nervous as a child ; think of it, the famous 
 Cirbec ! A wonderful genius, is he not ? Hark ! 
 hark ! " In fact, for at least ten minutes the famous 
 Cirbec, with frowning brows and arms folded across 
 his chest, had been looking at the young girl's picture. 
 Suddenly he stretched out his arm and said in a deep 
 voice : 
 
 " Good, very good." 
 
 " Don't you think, dear master," said the young 
 artist, " that I shall do very well to accent the waving 
 light that plays upon the rock." 
 
 Cirbec took hold of his chin, frowned again, and 
 remained silent, while every one awaited the decision 
 of the oracle in the most perfect stillness. 
 
 " The waving light," he said at last in a hollow 
 tone, " yes a good idea I thought of it." 
 
 " Unless it would be better to leave out the light
 
 4O BABOLAIN, 
 
 and the rock," continued Esther, biting her little 
 finger. 
 
 " Right yes oh ! oh ! perfect ! " 
 
 Having said this, the great Cirbec took his hat, 
 which he had placed upon the piano, and regretfully 
 withdrew, walking sideways, and casting a lingering 
 glance at the landscape. 
 
 " Won't you take a cup of tea or chocolate with 
 us ? " said Mme. Evelina Paline, moving away from 
 me. 
 
 " No, I regret that I must decline. An appoint- 
 ment with Cav6 on business Monsieur Thiers wants 
 to speak to me I am very sorry." 
 
 He saluted the company with a slight inclination 
 of the head and disappeared, accompanied by the 
 two ladies. 
 
 During the absence of the hostesses I took advan- 
 tage of the fact that Mile. Esther's picture was left in 
 solitude, to approach it, and raising my glasses, I ex- 
 amined it carefully. Contrary to my expectation, it 
 was almost impossible for me to understand what it 
 was that I had before me. Perhaps in my inexperi- 
 ence, and being embarrassed by my shortsighted- 
 ness,! stood too near it, for at one moment my nose 
 I am ashamed of these details struck against a 
 thick layer of paint, and I experienced a strange sen- 
 sation of dampness. 
 
 Yet the approval of the famous Cirbec, the admira- 
 tion, the enthusiasm of the company did not permit 
 me to have a doubt as to the value of the work. I 
 was evidently standing before a very remarkable 
 painting, but how was I to ascertain its indisputable 
 merit ? In vain I fixed my attention upon it. Where 
 was the rock of which they had spoken ? where was 
 the waving light ? The sense of my powerlessness 
 made me suffer deeply. What ! I had toiled dog- 
 gedly from my early childhood, my mind was en- 
 riched with various knowledge, my judgment formed,
 
 B ABO LAIN. 41 
 
 I possessed logic, a critical intellect, and yet I was 
 ignorant of a whole world. Were the purest joys of 
 the human mind denied me ? Could I not even seize 
 the trace of the artistic feeling, the admirable fire that 
 all these people possessed ? 
 
 I was thinking thus when I heard a sweet voice 
 behind me, saying : 
 
 " You are looking at my picture as a connois- 
 seur, Monsieur ; you are trying, I see, to detect my 
 method." 
 
 What reason could I have for trying to detect 
 methods ? 
 
 "Oh ! no, Mademoiselle," I replied, dropping my 
 glasses, and for want of something better to say, ad- 
 ded, " Painting must be very difficult." 
 
 The young girl looked at me with an air of confi- 
 dence and composure that made me cast down my 
 eyes, then thrusting her hands into the tiny pockets 
 of her dress, answered : " Difficult, oh ! no. When 
 people take to it, it is the simplest thing in the world. 
 In the first place you need rabbits' hairs ; that is in- 
 dispensable. If you had no rabbits, or if you were 
 in a country where rabbits had no hair, painting could 
 not be thought of." 
 
 Not being accustomed to this sort of jesting, I 
 listened with increasing attention. 
 
 " Then you spread these rabbits' hairs upon a 
 very clean table, divide them into little bundles upon 
 the end of a stick about as long as this " 
 
 " Don't you mean brushes ? " I asked in an em- 
 barrassed tone. 
 
 " So you know the technical terms. Then what 
 remains for me to say is unimportant. You buy dif- 
 ferent colored pastes, dip your little brush into these 
 various pastes with taste and care, and then sweep it 
 along to suit your fancy over a canvas stretched in 
 a frame. That's what painting is." 
 
 Everybody began to laugh.
 
 42 BABOLAIN. 
 
 There was nothing left for me to do but to join in 
 the general mirth, so I accomplished a woeful grim- 
 ace, but I felt the veins in my forehead swell, and the 
 drops of perspiration roll down my temples. 
 
 "That reminds me of a little anecdote of which 
 Cadamour is the hero," said Prudent de la Sar- 
 the. " You remember him ? Cadamour, Girodet's 
 model." 
 
 " Perfectly. The insertions of his muscles were 
 admirable." 
 
 " Yes, Mademoiselle, exactly. Well, one day " 
 
 I should have very much liked to hear this story, 
 which would doubtless have initiated me into some 
 details of this wonderful world, but Mme. Paline, 
 from an excess of politeness, undoubtedly, sat down 
 beside me, and suddenly asked : 
 
 " What do you think of Cirbec ? He is very good 
 looking, isn't he ? " 
 
 " Certainly. He has great talent, apparently." 
 
 " Yes, yes, he is an extremely severe critic, and 
 the praise he has just given us touches me all the 
 more because there are evident resemblances between 
 his genius and my Esther's, which might well inspire 
 him with a little jealousy ; but Cirbec is above these 
 meannesses, a rare thing in the arts, my dear Mon- 
 sieur." 
 
 " Indeed ! " 
 
 " Undoubtedly : extreme delicacy of mind natu- 
 rally produces irritability. Artists have very sensi- 
 tive skins ; hence the sufferings whose cause the 
 public cannot appreciate, hence their indignation, 
 their rebellion against the mere contact with common- 
 place things I know what it is : it is terrible. Not 
 that my husband had a bad disposition, but the me- 
 diocrity of his intellect, his lack of power to rise to 
 our ideal 1 What is the secret, you will say, of cer- 
 tain marriages which seem monstrous ? How does it 
 happen that a young girl of noble birth finds herself
 
 B ABO LAIN. 43 
 
 some fine day the wife, the slave of a notary, lost, 
 buried in the depths of a province ? In a word, you 
 will ask me how I could " 
 
 " I should never permit myself to commit such an 
 impertinence, Madame." 
 
 " Good heavens ! the Marquise de Salvain was no 
 less astonished than you are. ' You have had a ter- 
 rible downfall, my beautiful child,' she said the day 
 after my marriage ; ' what a frightful hole you are in.' 
 
 " The Marquise was a de Plancel, and her first 
 husband was the cousin-german of my mother, who 
 was a Martignac, a Martignac - Corbon, the younger 
 branch. You perceive, do you not, what a heart- 
 rending effect my marriage must have produced upon 
 such a circle. Ah ! what strange things occur in life, 
 what chance, what fatality!" 
 
 " Chance is not compatible with fatality, Madame, 
 for if on the one hand " 
 
 " Gently, my dear Monsieur, you will make me 
 mad." 
 
 While my right ear was receiving the confidences 
 of my fair neighbor, my left was besieged by snatch- 
 es of the noisiest conversation. One very short 
 young man, in particular, with flashing eyes and ener- 
 getic movements, was gesticulating furiously. " Yes," 
 he cried in a voice distinguished by a strong Southern 
 accent, " yes indeed, I will dip my pen in gall to blast 
 these scandalous reputations." 
 
 " Hark ye, my dear Tambergeac," replied an- 
 other, " I admire your eminent qualities as an art 
 critic, but I think you are hard upon Cirbec. Have 
 you seen my Galatea ? Cirbec's genius ! Ha ! ha ! 
 ha ! Gentlemen, let us hear ! if people study the 
 Venetians It is a dogma with me, and if you had 
 seen my Galatea yes, dipped in gall, for I repeat : 
 artistically Cirbec is a contemptible fellow As if one 
 could separate the man from the artist ! Cirbec has 
 never been anything but a blackguard."
 
 44 BABOLAIN. 
 
 "After all this you must understand what my life 
 was, do you not ? " murmured Mme. Paline, who had 
 not ceased speaking. " Compelled to consider the 
 sensibilities of the de Martignacs, and at the same 
 time" 
 
 " My Galatea was a solid piece, and which did 
 not prevent its being refused a place in the Exhibi- 
 tion I know it as well as you ; it was at the same 
 time as Mademoiselle's two dead natures." 
 
 " Which were two gems," cried Mme. Paline, sud- 
 denly joining in the general conversation. " It was 
 the most revolting injustice, the grestest effrontery. 
 That day the Institute showed its characteristics in 
 all their nakedness, incompetency and meanness ! " 
 
 " But what could be the cause of such an infa- 
 mous thing ? " cried I in my turn. 
 
 The general excitement was extending to me, and 
 in spite of myself I shared my noble companion's in- 
 dignation. 
 
 " The cause ! Alas, it is the general hatred of 
 commonplace, inferior natures against everything 
 original, powerful, young, and individual ; the eternal 
 struggle of triviality which revenges itself by treach- 
 ery, and seeks to reduce everything to its own level." 
 
 " But, Madame, that is horrible," I cried earn- 
 estly. 
 
 " It would be atrocious, if one did not have the 
 esteem of one's friends," said the young artist, hold- 
 ing out her hand to me. 
 
 " And the future, my daughter." 
 
 V. 
 
 I passed a night disturbed by troubled dreams ; 
 two or three times I was obliged to get up and drink 
 a large glass of water. Towards morning, however, 
 I fell into a sound sleep, and on awaking felt a deli-
 
 BABOLAIN. 45 
 
 cious sensation of comfort : the rays of the sun filled 
 my room, everything around me was sparkling, my 
 heart overflowed with joy and courage I was a man 
 of the world. I know not what strange want led me 
 to a hair-dresser's shop that morning. Seating my- 
 self in an immense chair I gave myself up to the 
 young man. After having shaved me he went away 
 and came back holding in his hand a pair of curling- 
 tongs, which he turned rapidly round and round while 
 looking for a piece of paper on which to try the heat 
 of the instruments. For the first time in my life I 
 was going to have my hair curled. 
 
 I must at any rate have a tolerably good appear- 
 ance to have such fopperies occur to this hair-dress- 
 er as a matter of course, without consulting me. Yet 
 I wanted to laugh. 
 
 " Does not Monsieur want some toilette soap ? 
 We have some excellent kinds combs, eau de 
 quinquina for roughness of the skin. Monsieur 
 knows how many maladies the bulb is liable to have." 
 
 Wrapped in my huge white cloth, with my legs 
 stretched out as far as possible, I .listened to this 
 music which fairly delighted me. People were troub- 
 ling themselves about me, paying attention to me, 
 trying to beautify me. 
 
 " We have also a complete assortment of English 
 brushes, round or oval, which we sell by the set or 
 separately. Only the English brushes are all one 
 can wish." 
 
 " What is the price ? " said I. The question es- 
 caped me unconsciously, so deeply rooted were my 
 economical habits. I was vexed, but my attention 
 was soon distracted, for I saw in the glass every one 
 of my obstinate locks rolled around the tongs, while 
 a light pick pick was heard, and a fragrant cloud 
 floated into the air. Then the tongs being carefully 
 withdrawn by successive little twitches, 1 saw a beau- 
 tiful curl replace the long, flat, stiff lock nature had
 
 46 BABOLAIN. 
 
 bestowed upon me. Was not this the image of the 
 physical and moral metamorphosis that awaited me ? 
 
 " The prices vary," said the hair-dresser, " accord- 
 ing to the mounting which is in wood, ebony or ivory." 
 
 "Ah! you have them in ivory." Hesitation did 
 not seem possible, circumstances demanded the ivory 
 brush, henceforth I could not dispense with such a 
 trinket. And then what a delight it was to dare to 
 throw money out of the window at last. 
 
 Ten minutes after, I left the hair-dresser's shop, 
 carrying in my overcoat pocket not only an incom- 
 parable brush, but a pretty vial containing a perfumed 
 liquid and tied with a pink ribbon. I felt a very 
 great satisfaction, whose cause, however, I did not 
 wish to investigate lest I might find in it some un- 
 worthy weakness. Did not Mme. Paline follow me 
 with her noble gentle glance, while her daughter be- 
 stowed upon me an approving smile. It was for 
 their sakes, after all, that I wished to be less ugly. 
 
 By chance I raised my head and saw a clock 
 which reminded me of the college. In the midst of 
 these worldly thoughts, I had been on the point of 
 forgetting the sacred duties of instruction. Pursued 
 by the odor of jasmine with which my hair was 
 scented, I began to walk quickly on ; my steps,though 
 short, were very rapid. 
 
 At the sight of the day scholars, who whispered 
 together as they looked at me, and scarcely conceal- 
 ed their amusement, 1 remembered the artificial 
 elegance of my hair. The first moment was disa- 
 greeable, but it was not on the morning after a tri- 
 umph that I could be intimidated by a handful of 
 young rattle pates. I cast around me the glance of a 
 touchy man who is ready to seek a quarrel on the 
 first pretext ; then advancing to the blackboard, said 
 with great firmness : " Gentlemen, let A B C D E be 
 the base of a polyhedron ; and M and N the apices." 
 
 I took a piece of chalk, and after pushing up the
 
 B ABO LAIN. 47 
 
 sleeve of my gown with a hasty gesture traced a few 
 lines. 
 
 Yes, certainly, it was for their sakes that I wished 
 to be less disagreeable. What a cordial welcome, 
 what softness in the smooth delicate hand whose, 
 pressure I still felt ! I took more care than usual 
 with the figures I traced upon the blackboard, I even 
 noticed that I raised my little finger with a certain 
 grace. The evening spent in the society of artists 
 had roused an unusual regard for the graphic portion 
 of my demonstration. During all this time the ivory 
 brush was swinging to and fro in my coat pocket and 
 rubbing my left leg, while the pretty vial tied with 
 pink ribbon tapped against my right, so that I was 
 reminded every instant of the hair-dresser's little 
 room, and from there by an involuntary connection 
 of ideas, found myself seated between the two ladies. 
 
 The lesson was very troublesome to me, for the 
 farther I proceeded in my demonstration the more 
 I was overpowered by the charm of the sweetest of 
 dreams, and I pronounced the last words in a voice 
 trembling with tender emotion : " Then, gentlemen, 
 two similar polyhedrons have similar homologous 
 faces, and the solid homologous angles equal. That 
 is what must be demonstrated." 
 
 The difficulty was to return to Mme. Paline's 
 house ; I was longing to do so, but how was I to ac- 
 complish it ? It was absolutely necessary to allow a 
 few days to elapse before the second visit, which now 
 seemed as perilous as the success of the first had 
 been complete. Depending upon some fortunate 
 meeting to renew my intercourse with these ladies, 
 I walked up and down the Rue Saint Sulpice ; and 
 on reaching No. 14 was seized with a most unac- 
 countable trembling in the knees. At the hour when 
 the inhabitants of that neighborhood went to the 
 Luxembourg to breathe the evening air, I wandered 
 among the crowd, but cautiously, for the agitation of
 
 48 BABOLAIN. 
 
 my heart might have been read in my countenance. 
 On the third day after the great event I had not gone 
 ten steps into the garden such things only happen 
 to me when I found myself face to face with the 
 person whose keen sight I most dreaded. I mean 
 my dear Timoleon. He was gayer, franker, more 
 like a cavalier of the days of Louis XIII. than ever. 
 
 " Why, here is the little old man," he cried. " I 
 haven't seen you for a long time. What hole have you 
 been hiding in, my dear fellow ? " Then drawing back 
 a step, "And in what a rig do I find you? nut-col- 
 ored pants, apple-green cravat, and curled hair ! " 
 
 In fact, I had been foolish enough to go to the 
 hair-dresser's again. I tried to smile, nibbled my 
 cane, and perceiving that I should be compelled to 
 descend to falsehood if I wished to turn aside his 
 suspicions, replied : " Good heavens, I am working 
 very hard just now, am busy, and don't go out much. 
 But what a beautiful evening. Oh ! a lovely even- 
 ing." 
 
 " Little old man, little old man, you are going to 
 be married," he said, bursting into a fit of laughter. 
 
 I do not know what other pleasantries he added ; 
 I did not hear them, for at that very moment, at ten 
 paces from us, the two ladies swept down the avenue 
 in the most imposing and elegant toilettes. I shiv- 
 ered from head to foot, and raising my hat with a 
 trembling hand, made my best bow. 
 
 " Do you know those princesses ? " said Timol6on. 
 " Paque Dieu, you are an epicure, my gentleman. 
 The youngest of the two goddesses, the daughter no 
 doubt, has incomparable legs." 
 
 If any one had publicly dealt me a blow in the 
 face I should have felt no keener suffering ; and it 
 was my most beloved friend who had thus wounded 
 my honor. I drew myself up indignantly, and seiz- 
 ing him by the arm exclaimed : " Silence, silence, I 
 cannot endure these insults, these scandalous insinu-
 
 BABOLAIN. 49 
 
 ations. The ladies who have just passed are worthy 
 of all respect, both by their birth and rare attain- 
 ments." 
 
 I must have had a frightful expression of counte- 
 nance as I said this, for I was really capable of brav- 
 ing every danger. Yet Timoleon was not very much 
 intimidated. 
 
 " But zounds ! little old man, when people are so 
 desperately in love they give others warning. Come, 
 calm yourself. The young girl, on the contrary, has 
 horrible legs, she even has a wooden one there, are 
 you satisfied ? Made of old wood." 
 
 " Timol6on, I beg of you I assure you I shall not 
 be able to contain myself." 
 
 " What can I do better ? I told you made of old 
 wood. If you want proof, go to the museum about 
 three o'clock, and before the Rubens paintings you 
 will see the unfortunate girl mounted on a sort of 
 ladder with broad steps, from which she is copying 
 the head of a mustached individual in a cuirass. 
 Wait till the artist comes down to speak to her moth- 
 er, who reads Lord Byron's poetry below ; go up to 
 them, my friend, put on all your glasses, and you will 
 see that beside the moral virtues, this young person 
 has a leg such as I have told you." 
 
 " If you add another word I shall break with you 
 forever. In the name of our old friendship I entreat 
 you to listen to me." 
 
 Yet I had vowed to keep everything to myself; but 
 it was necessary to convince him, to prove how false 
 was the judgment which, in his incorrigible heedless- 
 ness, he had passed upon them. I did not wish to 
 leave the shadow of a doubt in Timol6on's mind in 
 regard to Mme. Paline's respectability; my honor, 
 my dignity, were concerned in the matter and I 
 opened my whole soul to him. At midnight we were 
 still talking, and a treaty of peace was signed. 
 
 This conversation produced a great effect upon 
 4
 
 50 BABOLAIN. 
 
 me. It was like a revelation of my moral state. 
 In fact as I related my impressions they became 
 clearer, grew more exact, all the confused emotions 
 I had experienced for several days clustered together, 
 were linked into each other, and I was terrified by 
 the seriousness of my situation. 
 
 " You are desperately in love," cried Timoleon. 
 " Sound trumpets ; the little old man is pining for 
 love ! " 
 
 I defended myself as if the idea was sacrilege ; 
 it was impossible. And yet if it was true, if these 
 symptoms did not deceive. Could I have within my 
 heart, great Heaven ! the germ of a passion ! 
 
 From that time I tried to give an exact account 
 of myself, I analyzed all my thoughts, discussed their 
 nature, plunged into the secret depths of my soul, 
 and thereby so greatly irritated this tiny spot, at first 
 so insignificant, that on the day I returned to the 
 Rue Saint Sulpice I had an angry sore I loved. 
 Was it the mother or the daughter ? In, deed I could 
 not have told; and the uncertainty increased my fears, 
 for if I loved both I was the victim of a dishonest 
 passion that might not be confessed. Into what hell 
 was I plunged ? 
 
 The cordiality of the welcome I received calmed 
 me greatly, and was of immense benefit. Mine. 
 Paline's mere presence was like a caress, a consola- 
 tion. On seeing me, she eagerly held out her hand 
 and uttered a joyous sigh, which was a hundred 
 times more eloquent than a long speech. One would 
 have said that she was expecting me. After an in- 
 stant she murmured : 
 
 " We were afraid you would not come to see us 
 again, Monsieur Babolain yes, we really were. Esth- 
 er was talking about it again this morning. Oh 1 I 
 was wrong to tell you that if my daughter should 
 hear me ! " 
 
 " Not see you again ! oh ! Madame !"
 
 BABOLAIN. 5 1 
 
 " Certainly : the world of art does not please every 
 one ; especially learned men who have the immense 
 advantage of not allowing themselves to be blinded 
 for any length of time by the often deceitful vivid- 
 ness of first impressions. Can we suppose that a 
 man who is accustomed to trust only to his calcula- 
 tions can take pleasure in these artistic discussions, 
 which are all pervaded with an unforeseen and often 
 indiscernible feeling? A learned man must neces- 
 sarily consider us frivolous beings, nervous to excess, 
 impressionable to absurdity; he must judge our ab- 
 sence of formality, our somewhat peculiar manners, 
 very severely unless he is himself the most acute of 
 observers, and unconsciously the most fastidious of 
 artists. 
 
 She adjusted her curls with her beautiful hand, 
 and the gauze upon the waist of her dress rose and 
 fell several times very rapidly. It was enough to 
 make me perceive that she was agitated, and I saw 
 clearly that her last words applied to me. 
 
 " I am perhaps less brilliant than you think, Mad- 
 ame, but if " 
 
 " I suppose you are jesting. Don't you believe I 
 have either tact or shrewdness to enable me to judge 
 of people ? " 
 
 " If you would guide me a little, I should undoubt- 
 edly do much better." 
 
 She gave me a charming smile, and I felt I pos- 
 sessed in her a devoted friend. 
 
 It was in this delightful manner that my relations 
 with the Paline ladies were definitely settled. How 
 could I have remained insensible to the affectionate 
 consideration, the attentions of every kind they con- 
 descended to bestow upon me ? I soon felt more at 
 ease, hazarded a few remarks, and mingled as well as 
 I was able in the conversations I sometimes thought 
 I understood, and they almost always approved of 
 my words, saying : " That is just, very well thought,
 
 52 BABOLAIN. 
 
 very well said ; that sums up the question admira- 
 bly." I knew they manifested great indulgence, but 
 it was this very indulgence, so new to me, that did 
 me good. And then they consulted me, they confided 
 a thousand things to me with the charming freedom 
 of a friendship of ten years' standing. They asked 
 about my headaches ; gave me a remedy for sore- 
 throats to which I was subject. It sometimes seemed 
 to me as if all these little attentions and sweet words 
 were addressed to some other person whose place I 
 was usurping. The poverty of my past life, the lu- 
 dicrous peculiarities of my personal appearance, re- 
 turned to my mind for a passing moment. " They 
 think me better than I really am," I said to myself. 
 " Have I not deceived them ; have I not been un- 
 consciously playing a part ? If they should perceive 
 their error, oh ! God." I am unworthy of all this hap- 
 piness and yet if some day it should cease I know 
 not what vague ideas of the future; a hearthstone, a 
 family, mingled with my fears. 
 
 How many times, after returning home in the eve- 
 ning, on finding myself alone, I have buried my face 
 in my hands and wept to think of what they were 
 doing for me. There was evidently a great deal of 
 charity in their conduct, they had no reason for being 
 so kind, they were even ignorant of the affection I 
 felt for them, for I was very cautious in that respect, 
 lest I should displease them. 
 
 Soon, not content with the numerous visits I paid 
 to the Rue Saint Sulpice, I fell into the habit of going 
 to the museum where the ladies spent a portion of 
 the day ; I gave as a pretext the necessity of com- 
 mencing my artistic education in good earnest. I 
 had purchased a small glass with a single tube, which 
 I easily concealed in my hand, so that I could see 
 them at a long distance down the gallery. They were 
 always dressed with a care and elegance I shall never 
 meet with among other women. But what torture it
 
 BABOLAIN. 53 
 
 caused me to walk across the slippery floor of that in- 
 terminable gallery. I knew I -was observed; I was 
 alone in the very centre of that waxed wilderness, and 
 a single slip might cause a catastrophe, the mere 
 thought of which made me shudder. Would one be- 
 lieve that through feminine delicacy, consideration for 
 my awkwardness, they pretended not to see me until 
 I was within three paces of them. Then I walked 
 on tiptoe that I might not disturb Esther in her work, 
 exchanged a smile and shake of the hand with Mme. 
 Paline, and moved on some little distance to take my 
 station before the picture whose secrets I wished to 
 analyze. It was always a Rubens, my friends' favor- 
 ite master. Once there, I was happy. I felt that I 
 was near them, and if I happened to turn my head, I 
 saw the young girl upon her step ladder gazing at 
 her palette with an inspired eye. What a mysterious 
 depth there is in an artist's glance ! She told me one 
 day that the harmony of colors produced a species 
 of intoxication, and that when before some of Ru- 
 bens' pictures she experienced an emotion she was 
 unable to subdue. 
 
 By what means was I to understand the cause of 
 these emotions? And first I wished to proceed 
 methodically what mysterious bond exists between 
 a feeling and the juxtaposition of certain colors, the 
 vibrations of the optic nerve, and the pleasant or 
 painful sensation which results from them. There, 
 as in music, there were numerical laws one might 
 perhaps succeed in detecting, and deferring the the- 
 oretical study until later, I wished to submit to an ex- 
 perimental test. I concentrated my whole attention 
 upon a little corner of the great picture, and called 
 forth the emotions of my heart. That pink hue, I 
 said to myself, is not there by accident, its effect cer- 
 tainly combines with that of the other bluish shade 
 beside it. Both are probably modified by each 
 other's vicinity ; there is a sort of reciprocal exchange,
 
 54 BABOLAIN. 
 
 a fusion ; for if I draw back, the two tints are com- 
 pletely blended. But is it absolutely certain that one 
 touch is pink and the other bluish ? Is it not an 
 optical illusion, can I be already under the spell ? I 
 mounted a stool to examine the picture more closely, 
 and soon imagined infinite complications in the slight- 
 est touch, my sight became less distinct, everything 
 grew confused, mingled together, and the figures in 
 the painting seemed to be upside down. 
 
 How much learning, what prodigious calculations, 
 what marvellous combinations there are in a work of 
 art ! I put my glass back into my pocket, and, threat- 
 ened with a violent headache, rej oined the ladies. " It 
 is bewildering," said I. 
 
 " Is it not beautiful, perfectly beautiful," the 
 young girl sometimes answered. Often also she slight- 
 ly shrugged her shoulders, and said cavalierly: " Let 
 us alone, you don't know anything about it." 
 
 Decidedly it was impossible for me to explain 
 Mile. Esther's character clearly. The love of art must 
 really have taken a very powerful hold upon her 
 mind : sometimes gay, careless, affectionate, she threw 
 herself into an arm chair, laughed continually, and 
 addressed a thousand jests to me; sometimes she be- 
 came grave and her large eyes remained fixed upon 
 vacancy. If any one spoke to her, she did not seem 
 to understand, moved impatiently, and turned her 
 head away, or else burst out laughing. 
 
 These oddities, whose effect Mme. Paline tried to 
 soften by her own unvarying kindness plunged me 
 into alternations of joy and anxiety ; but the more 
 difficult I found it to fathom this character, the more 
 eager I was to sound its depths. I summoned all 
 my critical faculties to my aid, studied the capricious 
 countenance of the young girl, her look, her gestures ; 
 I noted in my memory the minutest details of her 
 personal appearance and each instant discovered 
 new attractions which enchanted me.
 
 B ABO LAIN. 55 
 
 One day Mme. Paline, drawing me towards the 
 window, said with her usual nobility of feeling and 
 ease of manner : 
 
 " Come here, my dear friend, I see you are troub- 
 led ; what is the matter ? Confide in me, please push 
 that footstool a little nearer, I will wager that Esther 
 has been indulging in some freak " 
 
 I would have sacrificed my little finger rather 
 than confess the supreme importance I attached to 
 the young artist's caprices, so I contented myself with 
 an embarrassed smile. 
 
 " Ah ! well," said she, " I will open my heart to 
 you ; I too need counsel. The affection and esteem 
 I have for you can alone induce me to use such entire 
 frankness the subject is a very serious one." 
 
 " Good heavens ! what is it ? speak Madame. 
 You do not doubt my devotion ? " 
 
 Her sole reply was to hold out her hand, then 
 with a smile that agitated me greatly, she replied : 
 
 " A poor widow finds herself very much alone, 
 especially when she suddenly perceives that the 
 health, the life of her child are perhaps endangered." 
 
 My face doubtless expressed the anguish I felt, 
 for the poor mother started in her turn as she looked 
 at me : 
 
 " You have noticed it as well as I, have you not ?" 
 she said. Do not deny it, oh ! do not deny it, you 
 would not deceive me : I read your heart," and 
 raising a handkerchief, even more richly embroidered 
 than usual, to her beautiful eyes, she continued : 
 " Oh ! God ! what hast Thou in store for us ? He 
 too has seen that my Esther was drooping. My 
 daughter, oh ! my beloved daughter, what will become 
 of me without you ! Do you think her very ill ? " 
 
 " I have noticed nothing, I solemnly assure you, 
 absolutely nothing." 
 
 " Be kind enough to treat me like a brave 
 mother, my friend. The blow has fallen, what avails
 
 56 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 it to deceive me ? Let us speak lower, she is in the 
 next room. Can I not perceive that her disposition 
 has altered strangely during the last month or two, 
 that the evil is increasing ? She vainly seeks to con- 
 ceal her condition from me. You will tell me that 
 she is an artist, that is, impressionable, sensitive to ex- 
 cess ; that the preoccupation of mind caused by her 
 art must affect her temper ; that the refusal of the Ex- 
 hibition to accept her great landscape must have ex- 
 erted a great influence over her; but she, who has 
 always been so brave, would only have drawn fresh 
 ardor from this rebuff; now you have seen that she 
 has not touched a brush since, except to finish her 
 superb copy of Rubens, and even that with how 
 much effort ! How many times she has thrown her- 
 self into my arms, saying : ' Mother, I can do 
 no more I can do no more.' ' My love,' I replied, 
 concealing my tears, ' you owe it to your own repu- 
 tation to finish this copy.' You do not know, my 
 friend, you cannot know, what treasures are concealed 
 within the heart of that young creature of twenty. 
 Alas ! alas ! she is too beautiful, too good for this 
 world." 
 
 What infinite depths there are in maternal love ! 
 How I understood the tears of my noble friend how 
 I sympathized with her sorrow ! Yet the first cause 
 of this grief appeared to me to be somewhat ill-de- 
 fined. 
 
 " Perhaps," said I with great caution, " perhaps 
 you are alarming yourself unduly, dear Madame, the 
 symptoms do not " 
 
 " Do not go on, you would break my heart. Noth- 
 ing can escape a loving mother. In spite of her ef- 
 forts to conceal from me what she is suffering for 
 she seeks to conceal it from me, you understand, from 
 me do 1 not see her drooping, dying under the fa- 
 tal action of some unknown mental torture ? She 
 has lost her appetite, no longer takes pleasure in any-
 
 BABOLAIN. 57 
 
 thing, passes her best sketches with indifference. 
 And her nights ! Have I told you of her nights ? I 
 really do not know, my head is so confused her ter- 
 rible nights ! What is the cause of her nervous starts, 
 the incoherent words that escape her lips ? And you 
 do not wish me to be terribly anxious ? Ah ! it is be- 
 cause you don't understand, or don't wish to under- 
 stand." 
 
 " It is terrible. Good heavens ! what is to be 
 done ? " I cried. 
 
 "Ah! thanks, that is the right word. Yes, it is 
 terrible. I sometimes even ask myself whether I ought 
 to wish for her recovery." I shuddered at this mute 
 despair. " And undoubtedly for some too delicate, 
 too impressionable natures, it is a blessing to die 
 young. What man would know how to appreciate 
 her, where could I find a husband worthy of her ? 
 Ah ! surely it is better to die than to be exposed to 
 what I have suffered." 
 
 My eyes were full of tears, I longed to cry : " I 
 am the husband you seek ; I am the man to devote 
 .to her every hour of my life, to love, to adore her; 
 but besides not being sure that I was worthy of her, 
 I could find no appropriate words to express what I 
 felt, so I simply said : 
 
 " Do you fear any affection of the lungs ? " 
 
 " I fear everything, my friend. At the present 
 time, the evil is mental I am sure. I know it by her 
 alternations of overwhelming sadness and wild gay- 
 ety, by all the caprices which Why, this very morn- 
 ing, I will tell you all, pardon me this morning I en- 
 tered her room to kiss her, and found her sitting in a 
 corner completely absorbed in reading a little book, 
 which was entirely unfamiliar to me. I went up to 
 her : ' What are you reading, my darling ? ' said I. 
 She held out the volume with the frank, graceful ges- 
 ture you know "
 
 58 BABOLAIN. 
 
 "Yes, yes." 
 
 "Where was I ? Oh, I looked at the book, it was 
 a little treatise on arithmetic, she formerly used at 
 boarding school. I smiled and said. ' So you are be- 
 ginning your old studies again, my dear.' She threw 
 herself into my arms and embracing me passionately, 
 exclaimed : ' Science is so glorious, mother, so glori- 
 ous.' " 
 
 It seemed as if every drop of blood flowed back 
 to my heart, and I really do not know what incohe- 
 rent words I summoned up strength to stammer. 
 Mine. Paline had seized my hand and was searching 
 my face with her anxious glance : " What is to be 
 done, my friend, what is to be done ? How are we to 
 apply a remedy to a disease of whose nature we are 
 ignorant ? But hush ! I hear a step, she is coming. 
 And my eyes are red ! Be cautious and prudent, do 
 not utter a word that could " 
 
 I hastily rose and rushed towards the door ; " it is 
 impossible for me to stay," I cried. " Excuse me 
 my class impossible." I crossed the dining-room 
 and ante-chamber like a hurricane. 
 
 Mme. Paline followed me, saying : 
 
 " But what is the matter ? You will come back to- 
 morrow, this evening, will you not ? " 
 
 When I reached the street I paused an instant, 
 for my heart was beating so violently that I could not 
 breathe, then took my course hap-hazard straight on, 
 like a criminal pursued by remorse. 
 
 " I am the sport of a dream," I thought ; I 
 fancied I saw in Mine. Paline's terrible confidence a 
 meaning which does not exist ; I am wild, agitated by 
 feverish dreams, mad with pride, and I cursed the 
 fatal gift of analysis that murmured in my ear ; " This 
 young girl loves you, Babolain ; do not refuse the 
 evidence, consider the logical sequence of these de- 
 tails, whose result is perfectly clear." And the poor
 
 BABOLAIN. 59 
 
 mother, who in her grief, sees nothing, perceives no 
 danger, does not suspect that she is betraying her 
 child's heart to me, to me who adores her ! 
 
 I took off my hat, my head was burning. 
 
 I struggled as well as I could against the intoxi- 
 cation which was gaining upon me, saying to myself: 
 " No, I am not made to secure the happiness of an 
 exceptional woman, an artist who will soon be famous, 
 and whom glory, fortune, and worldly successes are 
 awaiting. Is it not evident that I am -come let us 
 be frank that I am too far beneath her ? " What 
 might happen when Esther at last opens her eyes, 
 and sees to what an illusion she has been a victim, 
 into what a snare I have made her fall ? All this is 
 shameful, abominable ; it is my place to foresee the 
 consequences, and resist if necessary. 1 will go 
 away, I will never see her again, and she will recover 
 from this incomprehensible folly. What matters my 
 career I will return to the country And yet 
 her love for me may perhaps be profound, inde- 
 structible. 
 
 VI. 
 
 Two days after, in spite of my resolutions, I was 
 ascending Mme. Paline's staircase. I had reflected 
 a great deal, and was now calm. What ! upon a sin- 
 gle word which might be interpreted in a thousand 
 different ways, I had built a whole romance, and it 
 had required two days of reflection to convince me 
 of my insanity. Of what use is it then to have a log- 
 ical mind ! Poor child, to love me ! 
 
 Yet when I held in my hand the ribbon that served 
 as a bell-rope, I felt a slight tremor. Perhaps I was 
 not so entirely free from that ridiculous dream as I 
 had supposed. But even if I should be obliged to 
 leave them, do I not owe them a farewell and thanks
 
 6O BABOLAIN. 
 
 for the welcome they have given me ? The door 
 opened and Mme. Paline appeared. She smiled as 
 she offered me her hand : 
 
 " My presentiment did not deceive me, I was ex- 
 pecting you. Speak low, Esther is in the studio. She 
 is a little better," she added. 
 
 " How glad I am, dear Madame. 
 
 " Yes, we have been talking together, she has re- 
 turned to her work, and you will find her finishing 
 the sketch of a new composition. Oh ! you will be 
 astonished. I do not know what is taking place in 
 her mind. It is not at all like her usual style, not at 
 all. She has given up all brilliancy of coloring ; but 
 what nobility, what grandeur in the conception of the 
 subject! It is a Cain and Abel. The ardor with 
 which she enters into her work makes me tremble, 
 you will say I am always anxious. Ah ! my friend, 
 that is the destiny of mothers. The fact is, that 
 yesterday, at midnight, she was still sketching. Wait 
 until I knock ; when she is composing, you know, 
 we must not disturb her too suddenly." And 
 with a series of little taps the good mamma murmur- 
 ed softly : " It is our friend Babolain, my darling, 
 can you receive us ? " 
 
 The reply was favorable, and we entered. The 
 studio, as they called it, was unrecognizable : all the 
 useless ornaments that formerly hung on the walls 
 had been carried away ; the young artist was work- 
 ing in an empty room. Upon a quantity of papers 
 scattered about the apartment were colossal heads 
 dashed off in an impetuous manner. Esther was 
 standing before her easel so absorbed in thought that 
 she did not even turn her head: " Ah ! is it you? " 
 she said, and after a moment added : " Well, what do 
 you say to this ?" Her mother,showing me the scat- 
 tered papers, said : 
 
 " She has done all this in two days ; isn't it an 
 unheard-of thing ? You see the whole of the com-
 
 BABOLAIX. 6 1 
 
 position here take a little rest, my dear, I beg of 
 you, for my sake." 
 
 The young girl hastily passed her little hand 
 through her hair : 
 
 " I will rest when I have finished my work." 
 
 " Of course ; but your health, my child ! Oh how 
 noble that Abel is ! " 
 
 " Your health, Mademoiselle the attitude of the 
 Cain is really superb." 
 
 " Do you ever win in a lottery ? " said Esther 
 sneeringly. 
 
 "No, Mademoiselle, no; I have never won any- 
 thing in a lottery." 
 
 " I'm not surprised, for you have no luck. I ad- 
 mit that my Abel has a fine contour, amplitude, a 
 lofty bearing." 
 
 " He is magnificent, my daughter, he is bewilder- 
 ing." 
 
 " He really isn't bad ; I hit upon him at the first 
 effort ; but to make amends, my Cain Monsieur ad- 
 mires is good for nothing ; it is just Cirbec's style." 
 
 " Oh ! pray, darling, pray be careful " 
 
 " You are too severe, Mademoiselle Will the 
 picture be a large one ? " 
 
 " More than life size ; do you suppose I intend to 
 make a design for the cover of a song or a snuff- 
 box ? " 
 
 Then she looked at me with a desperate earnest- 
 ness that greatly intimidated me : " It is the expres- 
 sion of the face that troubles me," she murmured, 
 " I have my idea, but cannot produce it. I am seek- 
 ing seeking." She approached her mother without 
 taking her eyes from me, and spoke to her in a low 
 tone. 
 
 " Oh ! my darling. But I shall never dare Do 
 you know what Esther said to me, my dear Monsieur 
 Babolain ? Pray do not refuse her. My daughter 
 has just been struck by a certain expression upon
 
 62 BABOLAIN. 
 
 your face it is just what she has been seeking for 
 ever since yesterday would you be kind 'enough to 
 stand still one moment; long enough to make a 
 memorandum to take a rough sketch ? " 
 
 I thought at first that they were making fun of 
 me, and stood stupidly without answering, waiting un- 
 til the joke should become clearer. 
 
 " If Monsieur will not do me this little service," 
 said the young artist pouting, " he is perfectly free to 
 act as he pleases." 
 
 "Mademoiselle! I really thought you were mak- 
 ing fun of me. Do you actually want yet people 
 have very often reminded me that I was not hand- 
 some." 
 
 " It is not a question of beauty, but expression." 
 
 " Do what she asks, I beg of you," whispered the 
 mother, then resuming her usual tone : " Esther is 
 right, my dear Monsieur. Your face possesses an 
 expression, a character particularly the profile. See, 
 my dear, what firmness there is in the flat parts." I 
 was resigned, but greatly excited. " Stand on that 
 little footstool ; that's right. Don't stir, my dear 
 friend yes, that is it. How kind and obliging you 
 are ! Turn your head a little more to the left. Look 
 at the nail in that corner." All this was said very 
 rapidly, and I performed what they told me to do as 
 well as I could. 
 
 " Bravo ! " cried Esther, clapping her little hands 
 with childish joy, " there is my work. At least, they 
 shall not say it is stencil work." 
 
 The artist took a sheet of paper, seized a bit of 
 crayon, and a scratching sound as it passed over the 
 paper immediately became audible. She bit her 
 scarlet lips, bent her head forward, and half closed 
 her eyes, or with her little finger coquettishly raised, 
 effaced useless lines. 
 
 The constraint I imposed upon myself was so 
 great, I made such violent muscular efforts to remain
 
 BABOLAIN. 63 
 
 motionless, that the drops of perspiration began to 
 roll down my forehead.' 
 
 " Oh ! if you move, take your leave of this world." 
 There was an irresistible charm in the tones of her 
 voice. " Do you know that you are an excellent man, 
 Monsieur Babolain ? " she added with a blending of 
 diffidence and affected benevolence that enchanted 
 me. 
 
 " I really dared not impose this task upon you, al- 
 though I wanted to." 
 
 "You are a child, my dear; do you take Monsieur 
 for a plebeian ? Come, don't say any more such fool- 
 ish things. He knows artists well enough, is too 
 much of an artist himself." 
 
 " Oh ! Madame, pray ! " 
 
 " I beg your pardon, my friend, I know what I am 
 talking about He is too much of an artist himself 
 to find so simple a request strange." 
 
 " Dear me, mamma, a young girl has her little 
 fears; one is not a termagant." 
 
 " Will you be quiet, you rogue, people will have a 
 pretty opinion of you ! " 
 
 "A poor opinion ! oh ! pray can you suppose " 
 I murmured, trying to smile. 
 
 " But don't stir, keep your eyes fixed on your nail 
 Mamma, Monsieur is looking away." 
 
 The bursts of laughter escaped her lips like the 
 warbling of a bird. Her gayety had an aggressive 
 quality and exasperated you deliciously. She gave 
 herself up to it completely, one might say she was 
 passionately gay : her figure was convulsed ; her eyes 
 half closed. Through the narrow opening in the 
 waist of her dress one could see the heaving of her 
 neck and chest. Her little mouth opened so wide 
 that one could distinguish her rows of white teeth 
 glittering in their tiny apartment, which was as fresh 
 and bright as a wet rose. Meantime Mme. Paline 
 was saying with her usual tact and gentleness :
 
 64 BABOLAIN. 
 
 " Calm yourself, my love ; will you never be ration- 
 al? Really I am confused excuse her, Monsieur 
 Babolain, it is nervousness Oh ! dear, oh ! dear, she 
 cannot control it." 
 
 Perched upon my little stool as an angler sits on 
 his narrow rock, I might well suffer at the thought of 
 being so ridiculous ; but I was not angry with the 
 young girl for her mad continual laughter. On the 
 contrary, there was something frank and honest about 
 it which touched me. With a stranger she would 
 have found strength to put a constraint upon herself 
 and be polite. Therefore there was between her and 
 myself a bond whose power she felt without daring 
 to acknowledge it. And suppose her charming im- 
 pertinence was only an attempt to conceal the truth ? 
 Who knows ! It is so difficult to read what is passing 
 in her mind. This strange gayety was not natural ; 
 was it really at me she was laughing so heartily ? I 
 was only half convinced of it, and in every case I 
 experienced a sort of pleasure in feeling myself a 
 victim of her frolicsome mirth ; I joyfully submitted 
 to the little suffering which brought me nearer to her. 
 
 We feel pain from the needle that enters our flesh, 
 but we sometimes enjoy it while watching the hand 
 which pushes it in, and would not wish to be rid of 
 the needle if at the same time the hand must be re- 
 moved 
 
 " Oh ! how pleasant it is to laugh," said Esther 
 after a moment's pause. " You will excuse me Mon- 
 sieur Babolain, won't you ? There, now I am quiet 
 again, now I'll set to work. Will you give me the ex- 
 pression if you please ? " 
 
 " What expression ? I 
 
 " That's a droll question. You have just killed 
 your brother, haven't you ? " 
 
 I instantly remembered Cain. " Oh ! yes, par- 
 don me, Mademoiselle, I have killed my brother. 
 Ha, ha ! the figment is a little "
 
 BABOLAIN. 65 
 
 " Well, after this murder you can't look as if you 
 were stringing pearls ; that nail is your brother ; look 
 at it in horror and bewilderment. A baby two weeks 
 old would understand that." 
 
 I could not tell how distressing the grimace she 
 wanted was to me, yet I set about making it with the 
 utmost possible good will. After an instant she sud- 
 denly exclaimed : 
 
 " Mamma, I can't do anything with that coat, that 
 white collar, that blue cravat." I shuddered. " The 
 costume is so commonplace that it takes away all my 
 strength." 
 
 " That is true, my darling ; let us see, what could 
 we devise to prevent it ? Your sketch is very bold, 
 my child. Ah ! if Monsieur Babolain would allow 
 me to throw the large white cloth over his shoulders. 
 What do you think of that ? By arranging it a lit- 
 tle" 
 
 Esther's face suddenly brightened. " Oh ! that is 
 it, yes, certainly. But where is the white cloth ? " 
 
 " In the dining-room, over the preserves. I will 
 go and get it," murmured Mme. Paline leaving the 
 room. 
 
 We were alone together : it seemed to me as if 
 Esther's face was suddenly divested of a mask. She 
 cast down her eyes and said with an air of embarrass- 
 ed modesty : " You are not angry with me on account 
 of my gayety just now. Yet, I am not malicious. I 
 assure you, there is no need of thinking me more 
 foolish than I am. I have my little freaks, I know 
 very well in short, if I have caused you pain, I beg 
 your pardon." She looked at me very sweetly with 
 an expression of kindness. There was more than 
 kindness in the glance. 
 
 " Do not say such things, I beg of you," I said 
 in my turn. I wanted to throw myself down at her 
 feet. " I know my deficiencies ; I know how offen- 
 sive they are Continue to make a little fun of me ; 
 5
 
 66 BABOLAIN. 
 
 if you did not, it would seem as if you were long- 
 ing to." 
 
 I was so deeply agitated that I scarcely noticed 
 Mme. Paline, who had brought in the white cloth, 
 and was already preparing to arrange it over my 
 shoulders. I was thinking, are not these singular 
 manners which fools cannot clearly interpret, a proof 
 of the most angelic frankness ? Why have I failed to 
 understand this ? Could I have lost my common 
 sense in consequence of wishing to explain every- 
 thing by analysis and logic? Could my mind already 
 have become so vitiated by the theoretical study of 
 phenomena, that I was no longer able to distinguish 
 the real tenderness under these apparent follies ? 
 Could science have withered my heart? She too is 
 agitated, she knows I am watching her, that each 
 glance of mine is like the blow of a scalpel which 
 can lay bare some fibre of her heart. And if after- 
 wards oh God ! I am reasoning falsely. 
 
 " Why do you cast down your eyes, Monsieur 
 Babolain, you have lost a ten-cent piece." 
 
 And if afterwards, to-morrow perhaps, she should 
 say : " Ah, well ! dissimulation is no longer possible. 
 Enough of trials for you. enough of constraint for 
 me, let us belong to each other." If she should say 
 this to me, should I dare to accept should I be wor- 
 thy of it ? Should I dare to blight her divine artless- 
 ness by contact with my analytical skepticism ? I pit- 
 ied myself I found myself too strong. 
 
 Meantime Esther was sketching, sometimes im- 
 petuously, sometimes with care. Suddenly she turn- 
 ed pale, rose, snatched the sheet of paper upon 
 which she had been working, crushed it in her little 
 hands, and threw it into the middle of the room with 
 the fragments of the crayon. 
 
 "There, that is all, I have finished I thank you; 
 I have what I want," she said to me, and threw her- 
 self upon the cushions of a sofa that stood near.
 
 BABOLAIN. 67 
 
 Mme. Paline hastily went forward, and I sprang 
 towards her, although somewhat embarrassed by the 
 huge cloth in which I was wrapped. 
 
 ' My child, my daughter, what is the matter, my 
 dear?"' 
 
 " Mademoiselle, are you ill ? " 
 
 " Gome, my beautiful darling, I am here, what is 
 the matter ? Tell your mother, you will drive me to 
 despair." 
 
 " Nothing is the matter, nothing, leave me." 
 
 We could not see her face, which was turned to- 
 wards the wall, but we could see her clenched hand 
 rubbing the cushions, while her foot tapped the floor 
 incessantly. 
 
 " Let me venture to suggest a glass of water with 
 a little orange flower, Mademoiselle." 
 
 " For Heaven's sake hush ! you will give me a ner- 
 vous attack ; your voice sets my teeth on edge sets 
 my teeth on edge." 
 
 " Leave us, my friend," said Mme. Paline, " I do 
 not understand this, but your presence agitates her 
 I perceive she is on the point of bursting into tears. 
 Poor dear, poor love ! " she added. 
 
 I divested myself of the cloth, took my hat, and 
 reached the door. But when I had crossed the 
 threshold, I paused an instant, I could not make up 
 my mind to leave her in such a critical condition. 
 
 Almost immediately Mme. Paline said in an irri- 
 tated voice, " Well, what is the meaning of this non- 
 sense ? " 
 
 " He sets my teeth on edge, that is all," replied 
 the young girl with perfect calmness. " Tell me, 
 mother, did you know that the sofa was ripped ? " 
 
 " Yes, Cirbec did it the other evening when he 
 sat down."
 
 68 BABOLAIN. 
 
 VII. 
 
 So I set her teeth on edge my mere presence 
 had been the cause of this I was an unhappy wretch, 
 a Pariah ! Had I not irritated my companions all 
 my life ? I set her teeth on edge, she could not endure 
 the sound of my voice, my person was odious to her. 
 And yet had she not an hour before asked pardon for 
 her jests, had she not said to me : " I am neither fool- 
 ish nor malicious." Did I not remember the loving 
 gentleness of her voice, the almost tender expression 
 of her glance ? Was the irritation of the nerves I 
 caused her real ? The calmness with which she had 
 spoken of it was at least strange. And that way of 
 cutting short all explanations by remarking that the 
 sofa was ripped, what was I to think of it ? Did she 
 know I was still there behind the door, and wish to 
 subject me to a fresh trial ? 
 
 I could not close my eyes all night. After having 
 tossed about for several hours, I lighted my lamp and 
 opened Dr. Virey's treatise upon women. I had read 
 and re-read this physiological work, covered its mar- 
 gins with notes, and I must say that from these irre- 
 futable statistics, these scientific documents, these lu- 
 minous observations, I had obtained certain unknown 
 quantities of great value. But now, like people who, 
 after having cheated their hunger by reading a cook 
 book, would give, at six o'clock in the evening, all 
 the culinary treatises in the world for a little cutlet 
 cooked to a nicety, I found Dr. Virey's book, which 
 had been a most constant friend, dry and barren. 
 
 About nine o'clock in the morning I received a 
 little note from Mme. Paline ; it contained these few 
 words : " A terrible crisis ; do not come." At first I im- 
 agined that the poor child was dead, and kissed the 
 note. 
 
 I could now account for my painful sleeplessness ;
 
 B ABO LAIN. 69 
 
 could I sleep when she was suffering ? Had we not 
 a mysterious and powerful influence over each other ? 
 She had vainly sought to escape from it, and con- 
 ceal its effects, poor darling ! No, no, I did not 
 set her teeth on edge, I did more : I tortured her 
 heart. 
 
 Half an hour after, I was in the Rue Saint Sulpice 
 seeking in the aspect of the house some visible trace 
 of this terrible crisis. How could these old stones 
 remain insensible and preserve their usual appearance 
 at such a moment ! I approached the threshold of 
 their dwelling, and suddenly fled. To merely expose 
 her to the sight of me was to make her incur the 
 greatest danger ! How had I been imprudent, selfish 
 enough to come here ! 
 
 My heart beat violently, and I wandered through 
 the streets, experiencing however a species of conso- 
 lation, in suffering at the same time that she was, in 
 taking my share in this horrible crisis. 
 
 1 know not how it happened, but I soon found my- 
 self in the great gallery of the museum before the 
 Rubens pictures she loved so much. Several artists 
 were working as usual without seeming to suspect that 
 Esther was not there. The paintings by the great 
 masters seemed to have lost their brilliancy of color- 
 ing ; a veil of melancholy was spread over the gal- 
 lery, and among the various ladders and stools I won- 
 dered which were the ones she had used. 
 
 Towards evening, unable to restrain myself any 
 longer, I resolutely ascended the staircase leading to 
 the ladies' apartments, but in spite of my persistence 
 was not admitted, and on the following day and the 
 next day after that, still had the same ill-success. I 
 was in despair, and said to myself : " It is over, it is 
 really over, I cannot go back again since they do not 
 wish to see me." The idea of leaving Paris returned 
 to my mind, but the thought now caused me a pang 
 very different from the one I had felt in the past ; I
 
 7O B ABO LAIN. 
 
 could no longer reason, give an account of myself, 
 see my mental condition clearly. 
 
 The third day, as I was making a final attempt to 
 enter, I met Esther's mother on the staircase. " You 
 here, Monsieur ? " said she with evident emotion. Her 
 usual noble bearing had acquired a grave and impos- 
 ing dignity which overwhelmed me. It seemed as if 
 I was about to appear before a justly irritated judge ; I 
 murmured : 
 
 " I was so anxious that I did not have courage 
 how is she ? " 
 
 " Better,thank you ; but let us go up if you please ; 
 an explanation between us has become inevitable, let 
 us go up, Monsieur." 
 
 I followed her into a little dark room, and Mme. 
 Paline, after carefully closing the doors, seated herself 
 in a chair, and raised her handkerchief to her eyes, 
 while the sound of ill-suppressed sobs became audi- 
 ble ! 
 
 "I surprise you, do I not? " said she. "You are 
 asking yourself the cause of my grief. Oh ! unfortu- 
 nate young man, why did you ever cross the thresh- 
 old of this home ? " 
 
 " Do not weep, Madame, I implore you." I was 
 trembling and dared not look her in the face. " Oh ! 
 God, what have I done ? " 
 
 " What has he done ? You have made two lonely 
 defenceless women wretched, Monsieur. You have " 
 
 " But how is that possible when I would give my 
 life to make you happy ? " 
 
 " Whether the mischief was voluntary or not, 
 matters little : and besides," she added with a heart- 
 rending sigh, "we will not go back to that, we will not 
 go back to that. The only thing left for me to do is 
 to appeal to your honor, your integrity. Go, young 
 man, go ; put the world between us," and amid her 
 sobs, while with her extended arm she seemed to 
 thrust me back, she faltered : " Esther Esther loves
 
 BABOLAIN. 7 1 
 
 you ! Do you understand what anguish it costs me 
 to make such confessions ? Do you understand what 
 strength, what maternal love I need, to save me from 
 dying of shame ? Oh ! go, I implore you. You see 
 I implore you upon my knees when I might com- 
 mand ; I trample under foot every feeling of pride ; 
 but it seems as if my head was confused ; I have no 
 longer the strength, no I have no longer the strength 
 to struggle. If the smallest remnant of kindness 
 still lingers in your soul, fly Monsieur, save my poor 
 child." 
 
 She had placed her arm on my shoulder, and was 
 on the point of throwing herself at my feet, while 
 with tears she repeated : " Save her, save her." At 
 last, overwhelmed by emotion, she sank fainting in my 
 arms. 
 
 " Let me speak, Madame, in Heaven's name let 
 me speak," said I, making the most tremendous ex- 
 ertions to replace Mme. Paline in her arm chair, for 
 I was by no means strong. " Calm yourself, listen to 
 me the truth must be confessed,however painful the 
 avowal may be. I too I pray calm yourself." I 
 timidly slapped the hands of the unhappy mother, 
 who soon opened her eyes ; then I continued : 
 
 " Yes, I should have concealed it from you all my 
 life, I concealed it even from myself, but the hour 
 has come ; I must speak." 
 
 "Well, speak." 
 
 " I love love, I adore Mademoiselle Esther." 
 
 " Monsieur ! " 
 
 " And my life oh ! I am sincere ; all my life 
 shall be devoted to her." 
 
 " Do not go on," she said loudly, then resuming her 
 former low tone, continued slowly and bitterly : " He 
 does not even perceive the insult contained in his au- 
 dacious proposal ; no, no, he does not understand it. 
 Oh ! Lord, give me strength to be calm. Do you not 
 know that an ill-assorted union, far from repairing
 
 72 BABOLAIN. 
 
 the evil you have done, would render it still more ir- 
 reparable. The language you use Monsieur, I heard 
 long ago, and paid for the folly of giving it credence 
 by a whole life of sacrifice. My husband also im- 
 plored me, threw himself at my feet. He too said to 
 me : ' My name and my life are yours.' I was young 
 and beautiful, and I, a Martignac- Corbon, married 
 this notary, who took it all as a very simple matter, 
 having paid for it with his money. My daughter and 
 I are not rich, I say it without shame, but our honor, 
 our independence, are all the dearer to us ; and you 
 may be sure our souls are too lofty to be dazzled by a 
 fortune whose charms you undoubtedly exaggerate. 
 You have to deal with two artists, Monsieur, and two 
 women of aristocratic birth." 
 
 For the first time for many days I remembered 
 that I was rich, and was only the more dazzled by the 
 greatness of soul, the haughty disinterestedness of 
 these two noble creatures. 
 
 So that which facilitates the happiness of other 
 men was causing my irreparable loss. For an in- 
 stant I hated my uncle of Beaugency, whose legacy 
 thus destroyed my life. If, at that moment, I had 
 had my whole fortune in a portfolio, with what joy 
 I would have thrown it out of the window ! But this 
 was not the only obstacle. I was not of noble birth, 
 my name was of the humblest, it was not allowable 
 for them to cast aside the prejudices of their rank. 
 My face probably expressed deep sorrow, for Mine. 
 Paline said more mildly : 
 
 " Perhaps fate has done all ; I will still esteem 
 you ; but go, go quickly." 
 
 " If there are any means Leave one ray of hope, 
 Madame. Yes, it is true, I have wealth. I did not 
 think of it, but it is not so difficult to ruin one's self; 
 I can give away everything, and thus buy the happi- 
 ness of being poor." 
 
 " Don't say such foolish things, noble as they may
 
 BABOLAIN. 73 
 
 appear. People do not resign an inheritance legally 
 and honestly transmitted, any more than they re- 
 nounce the honorable name their parents leave them. 
 It cannot, must not be done. Would you have it 
 supposed that the fortune you have inherited was ac- 
 quired by dishonest means, and that you blush to 
 accept it? Would not people see in your conduct 
 either an undue pride, or the proof of a shame in 
 which you wish to have no share ? " 
 
 " Yet if I owed no one anything except myself, 
 your daughter's hand must be deserved, I feel that 
 fully. Yes, I perceive that at this moment I am still 
 unworthy of her. She will be famous at some future 
 time, illustrious, and the wealth her talent will secure 
 will be a hundred times greater than mine. I too 
 will labor to make myself a name. There are admira- 
 ble tasks to attempt in the sciences. If I have not a 
 brilliant intellect, I am at least accustomed to work ; 
 and one is very strong, Madame, when happiness de- 
 pends upon the success of his efforts." I pressed 
 both hands to my head, and could say no more. I 
 heard the excellent woman murmur, " How he loves 
 her, good heavens, how he loves her ! " She soon 
 continued, in a choking voice : 
 
 "Say no more, in Heaven's name ; let me reflect; 
 do not compel me to reply ; your sentiments touch 
 me, the eloquence of your heart agitates me ; at this 
 moment I am no longer mistress of my feelings. Ah ! 
 doubtless if I listened only to them, I should tell you 
 to hope. What to me are the prejudices of wealth 
 and rank ! But I am a mother ; I have the charge of 
 a soul ; I have no right to authorize my child to com- 
 mit a folly for which the world would never pardon 
 her; to openly defy the opinions of the society in 
 which she ought to move. Say no more, you would 
 perhaps persuade me. Oh ! I thought I was strong- 
 er, I I Great heavens ! I hear my daughter's step, 
 she is coming. Open the door, do not let her suspect
 
 74 BABOLAIN. 
 
 anything, oh ! my friend, do not let her suspect any- 
 thing ; she would die." 
 
 Esther entered almost immediately. She was very 
 calm, and was humming a little tune with the most 
 perfect unconcern. How much self-control and firm- 
 ness she possessed, what delicacy and dignity she 
 displayed in this apparent indifference. Shall I ever 
 reach the height of your lofty soul, noble girl ? 
 
 " You look pale, Monsieur Babolain," she said, 
 " it is doubtless owing to your blue cravat. Nothing 
 makes one look so pale as blue." 
 
 " My cravat " I murmured in my confusion, " oh 
 yes, the blue do you think my cravat ugly, Made- 
 moiselle ! " 
 
 " Why no, not ugly, and you " 
 
 Perfectly incapable of sustaining any conversa- 
 tion, I was about to withdraw, when Mme. Paline 
 turning towards me with solemn majesty, said : 
 
 " Well, my dear friend, offer your honest hand to 
 my beloved daughter, perhaps she will not refuse it." 
 And added in a lower tone : " If I am doing wrong, 
 may God judge my motives." 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Some time after the events related in the last 
 chapter, an elegant carriage drew up noisily before 
 one of the court-yards rarely to be met with in the 
 Rue Vaugirard, and a little man, awkward enough in 
 his manners, but elaborately dressed and with dain- 
 tily curled hair, alighted and offered his hand to two 
 very beautiful ladies. 
 
 The little man was myself; one of the two ladies 
 was my future mother-in-law, the other my adored 
 Esther, whom I was going to marry. My delight was 
 so great that I burst into a laugh every minute, tore 
 the ladies' laces, or stepped upon their skirts. To
 
 BABOLAIN. 75 
 
 think that I was going to be united by the closest 
 ties to these two ladies who were so proud and im- 
 posing in their regal costume ! 
 
 " Isn't the first appearance charming ? " said Mme. 
 Paline as soon as she was out of the carriage ; " this 
 entrance between two pavilions, the trees, of whose 
 foliage one can catch a glimpse I am sure it will 
 suit us perfectly." 
 
 We entered. " Is the ground floor still to let, my 
 child ? " continued my mother-in-law, addressing the 
 young woman who performed the duties of concierge. 
 " Very well, then show it to us." 
 
 " Yes, show it to us," I repeated. I had an inde- 
 scribable desire to talk, to make myself conspicuous. 
 While the concierge was shaking her bunch of keys 
 and noisily opening the doors, Mme. Paline, looking 
 around through her eye-glasses, said carelessly : "This 
 isn't bad ; this is the little drawing-room, where is the 
 large one ? " 
 
 " Madame is in the large drawing-room. The 
 little one is farther on, at the side of the dining- 
 room." 
 
 " Your large drawing-room is by no means enor- 
 mous, my pretty child; what did you say, twenty-four 
 feet long ? Ah ! " 
 
 As for me, being unable to imagine that such a 
 magnificent suite of apartments could ever become 
 mine, I but feebly concealed my admiration. Esther 
 said smiling : 
 
 " Pray hush, you seem as if you had always occu- 
 pied a fourth floor at Pantin. This suite is reasona- 
 bly handsome, nothing more." 
 
 " After all, I see only four sleeping-rooms," con- 
 tinued Mme. Paline. 
 
 "There are two more extra chambers, a lumber- 
 room, and several closets which can be used as bed- 
 rooms." 
 
 " Is there a stable and coach-house ? "
 
 ^6 BABOLAIN. 
 
 " No, Madame." 
 
 " That happens just right," said I gayly. 
 
 " You can't keep still a moment," murmured Esther, 
 while my mother-in-law, after casting a glance of dis- 
 pleasure at me, continued with a very sly smile : 
 
 " Undoubtedly it will do very well if I sell my 
 horses, but I am not at all decided about it." 
 
 This jest, whose sole object was to deceive the 
 concierge, wounded me deeply, for I always had an 
 instinctive horror of falsehoods whether small or 
 great; but I soon thought no more about it ; I was 
 too deeply in love to search into anything. I never 
 left my future wife, I feasted my eyes upon her every 
 gesture, my ear was always strained to catch her 
 most unimportant words, and if she chanced to 
 brush against me, I was as grateful as if she had 
 done me a signal service. Moreover, it was impossi- 
 ble for me to analyze my sensations, the time was 
 actually wanting. I was obliged to run to the nota- 
 ry's, accompany the ladies to the upholsterer's, the 
 fancy-goods stores I accepted everything, found 
 everything perfect. Nothing was too handsome or 
 too dear, provided the selection was made quickly. 
 And then my ideas about my income were of the 
 vaguest ; at times I was even induced to believe my 
 resources inexhaustible, and thus I met half way 
 the scruples the ladies were sometimes kind enough 
 to expresss : 
 
 " I beg of you," said I, " to do me the favor to 
 choose for me. My taste is not good, and I should 
 commit some folly. The worst thing that can happen 
 will be that we shall be ruined together." 
 
 " My children," said Mine. Paline when we had 
 re-entered the carriage, " all this is very well, but we 
 must act prudently : economy is a necessity to every- 
 body. Now these apartments we have just seen are 
 suitable." , . 
 
 " I think them really princely," I observed.
 
 BABOLAIN. 77 
 
 " A thing may be princely and yet be only suita- 
 ble. I admit they are large. Esther, do you remem- 
 ber your cousin Madame Salvain's large drawing- 
 room ? " 
 
 "No, mamma." 
 
 " I am surprised although in fact you were too 
 young to recollect it. What a charming drawing- 
 room the de Salvain's was ! But no matter. These 
 rooms are not bad, but the price seems rather to be 
 sure, I shall pay a part of the rent. You know, my 
 friend, we agreed upon that." 
 
 I felt wounded. Was this pitiful question of 
 money to keep coming back every instant? If it 
 could only be smothered once for all. " Madame," 
 said I, " let all that pass, I beg of you." 
 
 " Oh ! I am inflexible. If I consent to live with 
 you, my children, it is on condition of being entirely 
 independent, and consequently of paying my share 
 of the rent" 
 
 " We must put mediaeval paintings on glass into 
 all the windows," said Esther, whose eyes were spark- 
 ling ; " then in the dining-room an immense side- 
 board loaded with chased dishes and goblets. I want 
 an organ in the drawing-room, oh ! I do want an 
 organ." 
 
 " Nothing is more simple, Mademoiselle." 
 
 " Yes, of course, but I want a large organ that 
 will reach to the ceiling. I will paint the ceiling my- 
 self; it is splendid to compose." 
 
 Mme. Paline looked at us with an expression of 
 infinite affection, and said, smiling: 
 
 " Ah ! my poor children, I see very plainly that you 
 will do something foolish if I don't interpose. It is 
 necessary to calculate in arranging one's style of 
 living, and you forget that the rent of these apart- 
 ments is three hundred louis. It is enormous, espe- 
 cially in this locality." 
 
 " But we are in the centre of the Faubourg Saint 
 Germain," said Esther.
 
 78 BABOLAIN. 
 
 " The centre of the Faubourg Saint Germain," I 
 repeated mechanically. 
 
 Yes, that is true, I speak of the rent because it is 
 my duty to calculate for you ; if it were not for that 
 I don't think the rooms dear on any other account." 
 
 " It seems to me that they are relatively cheap 
 what do you think, Mademoiselle ? " 
 
 " I think it a mere nothing ; they are a godsend : 
 that drawing-room twenty-four feet long, and the im- 
 mense chamber at the back which will make a de- 
 lightful studio." 
 
 " As for that," observed my mother-in-law, " the 
 chamber at the back is of inestimable value to us 
 no, really, three hundred louis is not a large price." 
 
 " I believe the concierge is mistaken, mamma ; it is 
 worth more." 
 
 " In that case we must make haste," said I. " The 
 opportunity should not be allowed to escape ; what 
 do you think of it, Madame ? " 
 
 ".We must reflect, my children ; I admit, however, 
 that we shall find nothing so well adapted to our 
 wants." 
 
 " Pray let me hire these rooms which Mademoi- 
 selle Esther likes so well." 
 
 " Ah ! how much trouble I shall have in making 
 you economical ; very well." 
 
 " Suppose we go and look at organs, mother." 
 
 " Little goose, you know very well we have an 
 appointment about the camels' hair shawls. Mean- 
 time, you might go and see the landlord, my friend, 
 since somewhat against my will you have made up 
 your mind I think it would be well to close the bar- 
 gain immediately. From there you will join us at 
 the upholsterer's. Don't lose any time, for you 
 know we must choose the silver at five o'clock. How 
 many things to do, good heavens! without counting 
 the dressmaker! Come, let us go; good-by till we 
 meet again."
 
 B ABO LAIN. 79 
 
 " Don't be long," murmured Esther, bowing to m.e 
 with a delicious smile. 
 
 She had winning ways which made me almost wild. 
 
 I believe that during the few days preceding mv 
 marriage I actually had the vertigo ; I was hurried, 
 along and certainly had not the free use of my ana- 
 lytical faculties. 
 
 One fine evening in the drawing-room in the Rue 
 Vaugirard, which was still destitute of furniture and 
 sonorous as a cathedral, a notary in a white cravat, 
 seated before a small table, opened a large white 
 book, and by the light of two candles read our mar- 
 riage contract, while the ladies whispered together 
 gayly ; then a large quill pen was passed around and 
 each person affixed his signature. Mine was so small 
 and scratchy I wrote in that way that among the 
 bold flourishes of the others it looked as if it had 
 introduced itself by stratagem, like an unexpected 
 guest who appears just at the dinner hour. 
 
 A quarter of an hour after, while Esther, Timo- 
 leon, Cirbec, Prudent de la Sarthe, the notary, and 
 three or four other friends were engaged in some dis- 
 cussion, I know not what, Mme. Paline drew me into a 
 corner and said : 
 
 " My dear friend, I did not wish to diminish the 
 generosity of your conduct by attracting every one's 
 attention to it. You have just made by the contract 
 a settlement of one hundred and twenty thousand 
 francs upon my beloved daughter : it is acting like a 
 gentleman, my dear boy. Among persons whose 
 hearts are in the right place a pressure of the hand 
 is sufficient, is it not ? " 
 
 " I was afraid it might wound you," I murmured, 
 and in fact I had feared that they might be offended 
 by my somewhat cavalier method of throwing a for- 
 tune at their heads. Was it not saying rudely : " I 
 am rich, you are poor." It was very embarrassing. 
 
 " In accepting everything as a matter of course,
 
 80 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 my dear friend, I am giving you the highest proof of 
 my esteem. From any one else ah ! I should have 
 indignantly refused. As for Esther, she knows noth- 
 ing about business matters, the beautiful darling, and 
 I assure you she did not understand a word of all 
 that Greek ; but when she learns what it means I 
 foresee a storm, she is so haughty and sensitive." 
 
 " Yet it is very natural ; I should have liked to 
 give her everything." 
 
 " Noble heart ! Bear her first outburst gently, 
 my dear son. She will doubtless be grateful to you 
 in the end ; but you have really played a hazardous 
 game." 
 
 My heart overflowed when towards midnight we 
 took leave of the ladies, who, since the evening be- 
 fore, had occupied two rooms of the large suite of 
 apartments. "It troubles me very much to see you 
 camping out in this way; you must be very uncom- 
 fortable," I said to them. 
 
 " Oh ! no, no," replied Esther smiling, "besides, 
 the upholsterer has promised to make haste ; will you 
 come to breakfast to-morrow ? " 
 
 Some half unpacked boxes were strewn around 
 the ante-chamber, which was dimly lighted by a lamp 
 without a shade. Our feet caught in the handfuls of 
 straw that no one had thought of sweeping away; 
 the notary almost fell down. 
 
 " Do you know that your future wife is charm- 
 ing ?" said Tirnol6on, when he found himself alone 
 with me in the street. " Really charming, refined, 
 intelligent, witty, and rich to boot." I pressed my 
 friend's arm, not daring to reply. " And her moth- 
 er ?" he added. 
 
 " Oh ! my dear Timole'on, when you know her 
 you will see what a choice nature she has. She be- 
 longs to a noble family: my mother-in-law is one of 
 the Martignac-Corbons, the younger branch an art- 
 ist like her daughter, but less famous of course.
 
 B ABO LAIN. 8 1 
 
 No, you see, Timol6on, I am too happy a little too 
 happy. If I had time to think of it I should be 
 frightened, but I don't think of it, consequently " 
 
 " Consequently you are not afraid. Brave Babo- 
 lain ! Ah ! I'm confoundedly glad of what has be- 
 fallen you. Who would have said ten years ago 
 that you would some day for my part, I would have 
 bet you would remain a bachelor." 
 
 " Yes, it is unheard-of, it is a dream, for between 
 ourselves you know me well enough to be able 
 to judge of me between ourselves, there is noth- 
 ing attractive about me ; on the contrary, I am 
 what people call a queer fellow. You remember at 
 college ? And at the normal school, oh ! Good 
 heavens ! they were not entirely wrong. Ah ! well, in 
 spite of all that " 
 
 " You are the best of men, little old man." 
 
 " Come, come, let's be serious and speak to me as 
 to a brother : what reason can Esther have for loving 
 me, for she it is true, my friend, she does ; we are 
 making a love match ! I utter the word foolishly, 
 like a simpleton, don't I ? My lips are not formed 
 for such expressions, and they catch in passing. Any 
 one but you would smile to hear me say such things. 
 You have never given me a greater proof of affection 
 than this evening, by sparing me the jests that would 
 have caused me deep pain. At heart, you see, I am 
 very sensitive ; but as sensibility doesn't suit the 
 character of my face, I harden myself and hide my 
 feelings a little under an assumed air of unconcern. 
 I will make her happy, you shall see : my head is full 
 of plans. To a genius like my wife the presence of 
 a slower, more practical mind, will not perhaps be a 
 bad thing : there must be an equilibrium maintained 
 in life : imagination needs to be supported by analy- 
 sis and critical judgment. Of course I am inferior 
 to Esther, oh ! I don't deceive myself. Come, Timo- 
 k'on, you have often been a little hard upon me, I'm 
 6
 
 82 BABOLATN. 
 
 not reproaching you in the least, but I remember you 
 have unintentionally caused me a great deal of pain. 
 I had no other friend than you, you know ; I loved you 
 so much, and in short,- let us say no more about it ; 
 we have been good friends : do you remember when 
 you came to see me in the infirmary at the school ? 
 Well, will you be one of my family now ? You will 
 advise me, you will be my brother. It shall not pre- 
 vent your making fun of me a little, only do it in a 
 low tone, won't you, on account of the ladies. We 
 will forget the past. Let me embrace you." 
 
 From the chaos and confusion of the last hours I 
 spent upon this earth as a bachelor, it is impossible 
 for me to regain any distinct impression. The night 
 before my marriage I found myself in the middle of the 
 Jardin des Plantes, leaning upon the railing that sur- 
 rounds the bears' den, and murmuring passionately : 
 " Esther, my Esther, how happy I will make you ! 
 If you only knew how I love you, oh ! if you only 
 knew !" But alas ! it was impossible for her to 
 know, since it was only far away from her, hidden 
 in some corner, that I dared to express my tenderness 
 in words. 
 
 Yet on the morning of the great day,when I arriv- 
 ed in full dress my fiancee said : 
 
 "Why, Mister bridegroom, look at yourself in the 
 glass, you are not pale, you are green." 
 
 I thought I perceived that she uttered the pleasant- 
 ry to conceal her embarrassment. Diffidence some- 
 times displays itself so strangely, I know what it is. 
 " I am so happy, Mademoiselle," I answered. It was 
 a stupid reply I thought of it afterwards for happi- 
 ness does not necessarily paint itself upon the coun- 
 tenance in greenish hues. 
 
 " Let us make haste," said Mme. Paline, " we 
 must not keep people waiting, my children, Esther, 
 my son, I shall never have the strength to endure so 
 many different emotions. Let us go alone in the
 
 BABOLAIN. 83 
 
 carriage, my friend; let my daughter be mine a few 
 moments longer, I beg of you, and then " 
 
 " And then we shall be less crowded," added Es- 
 ther gayly. Although I feel a little ashamed of it, I 
 will frankly confess that this ceremony in which all 
 divine and human pomp united to wed I quote the 
 words of the priest who married us to wed art to 
 science, was a terrible ordeal to me. How could I 
 elevate my soul when I was shivering, cowering in 
 one corner of a gilded arm chair, face to face with 
 a crowd of people, and that huge devil of a beadle 
 three yards high seemed to be always on the point of 
 bursting into a laugh ? 
 
 As the splendors of the day slowly unfolded, a 
 new terror took possession of me. I had never dared 
 to openly display my tenderness, which had conse- 
 quently swelled my heart all the more, so that I per- 
 ceived with dread the approach of a moment when an 
 outburst would take place which I should be wholly 
 unable to control. When we should be alone togeth- 
 er, what course of action was I to pursue ? Must she 
 not doubt my love ? After all, nothing betrayed the 
 feeling I had for her. Poor dear Esther ! What 
 anxiety, what fears, perhaps, might have lurked in a 
 soul at once too proud and too timid to confess its 
 weakness. 
 
 But what joy we should experience when the 
 hour for mutual confidence struck ; when we could tell 
 each other the thousand delicious little tortures that 
 had preceded the divine outburst of emotion ! 
 
 At two o'clock in the morning, the entertainment 
 being nearly over, I walked noiselessly towards the 
 large apartment we were henceforth to occupy to- 
 gether. To brighten and dry the room which had 
 long been unused, the servants had lighted a crack- 
 ling fire, before which my wife was seated, watching 
 the flames and warming her little satin boot. At the 
 noise of my entrance she turned her head : " Oh I
 
 84 SABOLAIM 
 
 is it you," she said with an unaccountable pout, has 
 everybody gone ? " 
 
 Naturally as the question was asked, I shuddered. 
 
 " Yes," said I, " yes, everybody, my" I did not 
 know what to call her, the moment was a solemn 
 one, the slightest awkwardness might produce incal- 
 culable consequences. For greater security I did not 
 finish my sentence ; and slowly approached her with 
 short quick steps, shaking and trembling like a child 
 who does not know his lesson. 
 
 " Why do you keep coughing so," she said look- 
 ing steadily at me. 
 
 " I don't know ; it is nothing, thank you ; I will at- 
 tend to it." 
 
 " Oh ! if it is a habit, you need not put yourself 
 to any trouble." 
 
 I scarcely understood what she was saying to me, 
 for I was suddenly overwhelmed by a strange trans- 
 port. It seemed as if a great longing for love, which 
 had been slumbering within me since my childhood, 
 now burst forth. I knelt before the young wife whose 
 heart was to give mine a home, and taking both 
 her hands, bent my head and wept. I know not what 
 I said amid my tears, which, far from becoming ex- 
 hausted, flowed more and more freely. 
 
 At last I raised my head and cried : " Esther, my 
 beloved wife ! " while I felt impatiently in both skirts 
 of my coat to find my handkerchief, which I needed 
 to wipe my face and clean my glasses dimmed by 
 my tears. 
 
 " You will forgive me for crying like a schoolboy ; 
 I cannot help it, I had a great many things to say to 
 you but I can't remember them. You must not mis- 
 judge me, I do everything so awkwardly that people 
 might misunderstand I am weeping for joy." 
 
 " Yes, but other people would suppose I had been 
 beating you, to see you in such a condition." She 
 said this in an affectionate tone, " I am not in the
 
 BABOLAIN. 85 
 
 least vexed. All this means that you are fond of me, 
 does it not my dear ? Well then " 
 
 It was the first time she had ever called me dear. 
 
 "You will be indulgent, my own Esther. You 
 you see I am trembling in the most absurd way, I am 
 so afraid of not finding the right words to tell you I 
 love you ; so afraid of awkwardness in caressing your 
 beautiful hands and luxuriant hair. Will you let me 
 kiss them ? You cannot know how beautiful you are ? " 
 She tapped her little foot on the floor with a smile. 
 " It is your beauty that awes me, and your intellect 
 too. To say to myself : I have a wife who is an art- 
 ist ; intoxicated with ideal beauty she will permit 
 me to perceive the treasures of her heart thoughts, 
 feelings, everything shall be shared between us. I 
 have made wonderful savings of tenderness since I 
 have been in this world, my darling. You shall see, 
 you shall see. I am addressing you so familiarly. It 
 does not annoy you ? " 
 
 " Not much, when we are alone ; but when other 
 people are present " 
 
 " Yes, yes, oh ! of course. How good you are ! " 
 
 " Good, how do you know ? " 
 
 " If you were not, would you speak to me so gen- 
 tly ? I know very well there are a thousand things in 
 my manners which must displease you, and if you 
 were not indulgent you would make me see it." 
 
 I felt anxiously that I was becoming garrulous ; 
 but it was now impossible to be silent and conceal my 
 emotions. " It is too much happiness at one time," 
 I continued. " I feel dazzled, like a man who, on com- 
 ing out of a cave where he has lived all his life, 
 looks directly at the sun." 
 
 " You are poetical, my dear friend." 
 
 " That is saying a great deal ; but I should cer- 
 tainly become so if you would let me share your 
 thoughts. One thing is certain ; I have always had 
 a longing to indulge in dreams ; it is the only legacy
 
 86 BABOLAIN. 
 
 my father bequeathed to me. Poor man ! How you 
 would have loved him ! He was a professor too, a 
 professor in the college of Orleans." 
 
 " Indeed ! " 
 
 " Yes, yes. He would have been an excellent 
 professor if he had had the ability to make him- 
 self respected by his pupils ; but he was too kind, 
 too gentle ; his moral qualities were not apparent ; 
 everything was imprisoned in a poor little feeble body. 
 He was drowned during the inundation, and I found 
 myself all alone. It was a terrible moment, I assure 
 you, I can still see his motionless, lifeless body. I 
 would not believe it, I " 
 
 " It is a terrible death. But what were you say- 
 ing just now about dreams, I believe ? " 
 
 " I don't remember. My poor father would have 
 been very proud if he had lived long enough to know 
 you and call you ' my daughter.' I remember he 
 was always talking to me about " 
 
 " We were speaking of poetry " 
 
 " Oh ! yes, I was saying that I had dreamed a 
 great deal during my poor life, although to tell the 
 truth, I have never had but one great vision : that of 
 being loved a little. Unfortunately I have never 
 found any opportunity." 
 
 " You surprise me." 
 
 " No, never. It is probably because I was instinct- 
 ively waiting for you. Yes, my own Esther, I was 
 waiting for you. What a fortunate thing it is to have 
 suffered. For, you see, past sufferings are a fortune 
 with which we pay for the joys of the future. Moral 
 laws ordain that the feelings must be properly bal- 
 anced, and act as a counterpoise to each other, a 
 smile is only the drying of a tear. We must have 
 wept in order to know how to be happy, and that is 
 why my present happiness troubles me, my dear little 
 wife. It seems as if 1 shall never be rich enough to 
 pay for all this."
 
 BABOLAIN. 87 
 
 " We will discuss it when the bills come due," 
 she said gayly." But how tender-hearted you are for 
 a philosopher. Here are your eyes growing wet 
 again ! It's a positive misfortune. Come, dry your 
 tears, my husband." 
 
 She took her little embroidered handkerchief, per- 
 fumed with verbena, and passed it over my eyes with 
 her own hand. 
 
 " My love, my love," I murmured in her ear, " I 
 should like to die." 
 
 " Die ! ha ! ha ! ha ! you have a mournful idea of 
 happiness, and its a curious fancy to want to begin 
 at the end ! Why do you look at me so ? It seems 
 as if you had a mourning veil over your eyes." 
 
 " Oh ! pray don't fancy that. It is only my spec- 
 tacles ; the refraction of light often produces " 
 
 " You shall explain it to me some other time." 
 The corners of her mouth drooped imperceptibly, the 
 dimple in her cheek grew still deeper "Just now, I 
 wanted to ask you something." 
 
 " How delightful ! What do you wish ? If it 
 would only compel me to make some great sacrifice ! 
 I am yours, put me to the test." 
 
 " Then you really love me ? " 
 
 " I adore you. Come, speak." 
 
 " Well I have wanted to ask you a long time ; 
 by granting the request you will really give me pleas- 
 ure." 
 
 She bent her face so near mine that her curls 
 brushed my cheek : " Wear a pair of eye-glasses in- 
 stead of those frightful spectacles ; " she said, burst- 
 ing into a little laugh, " will you do that for me ? " 
 
 And as I murmured in some little embarrassment : 
 " Why did you not tell me so before ? Good Heavens, 
 it was such a simple matter ! " she continued : 
 
 " Becausereally these spectacles give you some- 
 thing like the air I am not offending you of a sexton 
 or an alchemist. But I will say no more, for you are 
 sensitive."
 
 88 BABOLAIN. 
 
 " I was not aware of it. How little one knows 
 ones self! Oh! I beg of you, tell me everything you 
 think of me. Since your husband has ridiculous pe- 
 culiarities, let us make fun of him, it is the surest way 
 of curing him." 
 
 The door opened with a crash, and my mother-in- 
 law suddenly entered the room. 
 
 " You here ? " she said, turning towards me as I 
 knelt at my wife's feet. " Fear nothing, my Esther, 
 your mother is here," and making a sign to me to 
 leave the room, she added: "I want to speak to you, 
 Monsieur." 
 
 I followed my mother-in-law, as in duty bound. 
 When we were alone in the little parlor, where the 
 candles where just going out, she turned and, press- 
 ing her hand upon her heart said to me : 
 
 " You have made me ill, really made me ill. Why, 
 Monsieur, what fiend possesses you ? What do you 
 conceal beneath your apparent simplicity ? What 
 sort of a man are you ? " Her eyes expressed terror. 
 " What society have you frequented, merciful God ! 
 What society has he frequented to have the hardi- 
 hood to deceive us so ? " 
 
 " I do not exactly understand," I murmured great- 
 ly agitated ; " some one has doubtless been slander- 
 ing me; explain yourself, mother." 
 
 " Oh ! do not use that sacred name. Do you not 
 feel that a mother's heart is bleeding at this moment, 
 the pride of noble birth is roused to indignation. 
 Why the very savages would respect the last moments 
 of a young girl's timid fears ; they would blush, upon 
 my honor, to enter the nuptial chamber, as you have 
 just done, before the bride had received her mother's 
 blessing. Above the written law which may perhaps 
 authorize, don't interrupt me which in some cir- 
 cles may perhaps authori/e such brutalities, there is, 
 Monsieur, the law of honor and good breeding, and 
 this holds sacred the threshold of the temple where
 
 BABOLAIN. 89 
 
 the weeping girl sheds a last tear and bends her head 
 to receive her mother's blessing. But all this is of 
 no consequence to you ; having the text of the law on 
 your side, you care very little about killing my Es- 
 ther." 
 
 Although I felt a certain respect, I will even say 
 a species of admiration for Mme. Paline, it seem- 
 ed evident that maternal love had blinded her strange- 
 ly ; so I said with great frankness : 
 
 " You are mistaken, mother." 
 
 " Ah ! at last you throw aside the mask. This is 
 what was concealed beneath the diabolical candor you 
 assumed in order to deceive us more completely." 
 
 " Oh ! Madame, no let me " 
 
 " And now you are raising your head again, you 
 intend to trample upon my heart." 
 
 " But your mistake " 
 
 "See the insults he hurls into my face! I had 
 not suffered enough, oh ! God. The very day he 
 tears my Esther, my life from me. I ought to have 
 expected it." 
 
 "What insults? I, insults ! Calm yourself, mother." 
 
 " No, I had not suffered enough under my hus- 
 band's yoke. Strike, Monsieur, overwhelm me, finish 
 your work, crush us under your iron hand, drive me 
 away now, drive me away, I have neither husband 
 nor brother to defend me. You are a tiger. But 
 upon my soul I would rather have you so. At least, 
 you are no longer a hypocrite." 
 
 " I am in despair, pray listen to me." 
 
 " No, Monsieur, I will not listen to you. You will 
 not force me to do so, I hope. No, my daughter, I 
 will not leave you alone, defenceless, I will struggle 
 yes, Monsieur, I will struggle " 
 
 She could say no more, and closing her eyes, 
 sank into a chair. I was beginning to lose my wits : 
 had I not after all committed some act unworthy of 
 a good man ? My intentions were pure, it is true,
 
 9O BABOLAIN. 
 
 but I might be mistaken. Unfortunately there was no 
 time to analyze my conduct. 
 
 Meantime Mme. Paline's condition was really 
 alarming ; nervous tremors shook her whole frame ; 
 her beautiful arms were writhing convulsively. 
 
 " Forgive me," said I, although she did not seem to 
 hear me, " forgive and listen to me." It was, alas ! a 
 nervous attack;she was subject to them. Her teeth 
 chattered, and the whites of her beautiful eyes appear- 
 ed between her partially opened lids ; it was positively 
 terrible. I took her hands, besought, implored, hum- 
 bled myself, confessed my crime ; she did not answer, 
 and the symptoms continued to increase. Suddenly, 
 necessity is the mother of invention I had an 
 idea ; I ran into the dining-room which had been left 
 in great disorder after the entertainment of the night 
 before, poured out a glass of water, dipped a napkin 
 into it, and hastily returning to the poor woman, who 
 must be relieved at any rate, slapped her face brisk- 
 ly with the wet cloth. 
 
 Although very ill, she started as if under the in- 
 fluence of an electric shock, rose instantly, and hurl- 
 ed at me a glance in which contempt and fury were 
 only too clearly depicted. 
 
 " Brute, fool !" she said in a hollow tone and then 
 left the room, while the slamming of the door of her 
 chamber was distinctly audible. I stood bewildered 
 holding in one hand the half empty glass, and in the 
 other the dripping napkin. "If only Esther has not 
 heard this scene ; she is so sensitive,' 1 I thought. A 
 clock in the neighborhood struck three ; I put down 
 the articles 1 held in my hand, and walked noiselessly 
 towards my wife's room, at the door of which I cau- 
 tiously knocked. A little diplomacy is sometimes 
 necessary. I did not think of telling her a falsehood, 
 but I wanted to conceal a portion of the truth. I 
 knocked a second time more loudly, but again receiv- 
 ed no reply. I even tried to turn the knob ; the door,
 
 BABOLAIN. 91 
 
 which was double locked, resisted my efforts. Then 
 a feeling of indignation overpowered me ; I reproach 
 myself for it, for it was utterly useless, and I ought 
 first of all to have sought out the causes of what was 
 befalling me ; but I was still young and proud ! I 
 should have liked to knock again, call, force an en- 
 trance, and perhaps might have done so if I had not 
 been afraid of exposing myself again to the anger 
 of Mine. Paline, who would certainly have come at 
 the noise. 
 
 My overcoat had been left hanging in the ante- 
 chamber ; I took it, wrapped myself up in it, and re- 
 turning to the drawing-room where the old sofa from 
 the Rue Saint Sulpice had been placed, threw myself 
 upon it. Strange, when there, I experienced a sen- 
 sation of comfort; I felt relieved, like a man whom 
 necessity compels to defer a difficult enterprise until 
 the morrow. 
 
 As I felt my head sink gently among the cushions, 
 I remembered the day when Esther, lying upon this 
 very sofa, had plucked at them with her little white 
 hand, while I could see her breast heave under the 
 velvet folds of her huge wrapper. 
 
 I had just awoke and was in the act of untying the 
 silk handkerchief in which I had enveloped my head, 
 when my wife suddenly entered the drawing-room. 
 
 " What did you do last night," said she, " my dear, 
 what did you do ? My mother has passed a horrible 
 night. How did you forget yourself so far as to pro- 
 ceed to brutality and violence ; for my mother speaks 
 of brutality and violence. Can you not, if only from 
 affection for me, restrain your passionate temper ? " 
 
 I was just preparing to have a friendly explana- 
 tion with Esther on the subject of the locked door, 
 but, on perceiving evident traces of great vexation 
 upon her lovely face, was completely disarmed. 
 
 " Do not grieve until you have listened to me, my 
 darling," said I ; " there is "
 
 92 BABOLAIN. 
 
 " Oh ! hush," she replied putting her hand over 
 my mouth. " Would you have me doubt my mother's 
 word ? She has told me all. Alas ! I know very well 
 that men consider it a point of honor never to yield, 
 and prefer to push energy to injustice. You do not 
 reproach yourself you say, but " 
 
 " I have said nothing which could " 
 
 " Have the honesty not to distort facts. Who 
 will believe, my dear, that my poor mother, who, al- 
 though she has suffered so much, is so kind and in- 
 dulgent, could be in her present condition without any 
 reason whatever ? She loved you so truly. Is not 
 her sensitiveness in everything relating to the affec- 
 tions the clearest proof of her tenderness ? " 
 
 " Certainly. But this is exactly what happened. 
 My darling, do not 
 
 " You must perceive that all explanations from 
 you would be simply an indirect accusation." 
 
 " I accuse your mother ? " 
 
 " Then you see you regret what has occurred." 
 
 " Of course, but I can't understand what " 
 
 " You cannot have courage enough to acknowl- 
 edge even an involuntary wrong, to go to my mother 
 simply and frankly and express your regret. You can- 
 not, the very next morning after our marriage, 
 sacrifice your pride ever so little for my sake. Ah ! 
 well I know you can do all this, and you will, won't 
 you ? " 
 
 No words can describe the tenderness of the glance 
 she cast upon me. It would have been monstrous to 
 resist her entreaty. I hastened to offer my apologies 
 to Mme. Paline, who accepted them without any very 
 great reluctance. This little incident had no annoy- 
 ing consequences, but it made me perceive that I 
 must now act with great caution if I wished to avoid 
 wounding any one's feelings.
 
 BABOLAIN. 
 
 IX. 
 
 93 
 
 Meantime the utmost confusion reigned in the 
 large suite of apartments in the Rue Vaugirard. 
 While men were bringing, piece by piece, the monu- 
 mental organ which was to occupy the back of the draw- 
 ing room, the locksmiths were removing the windows 
 to facilitate the insertion of the Gothic painted glass. 
 Upholsterers were taking away the carpets and hang- 
 ings arranged for the wedding day ; painters were 
 putting up their stagings to transform the ceiling into 
 an azure sky strewn with golden stars ; and in the 
 midst of all this, boxes were being unpacked and 
 bales opened. Thanks to the indefatigable activity 
 of the ladies, who traversed Paris from morning till 
 night and made a quantity of purchases, packages 
 of every kind and all sizes were arriving every mo- 
 ment. They were set down haphazard, here, there 
 and everywhere, one above another, but especially in 
 the dining room, which had become the central store- 
 house. There were piles of gilt dishes among band- 
 boxes, glasses under packages of linen, clothing, 
 pictures, easels, muffs, and engravings crushed under 
 kitchen utensils. All this was so mingled with straw 
 and paper that at first sight it was impossible to dis- 
 tinguish anything. I should never have imagined 
 so many things were needed to commence house- 
 keeping. Yet they still piled up the goods, and the 
 tide continually rose higher. What vexed me was 
 that my papers and books were lying at the very 
 bottom under the chaos in the dining-room. But I 
 received packages and paid bills with an enthusi- 
 asm which was certainly very natural for within the 
 last two days Esther had permitted me to perceive the 
 affection she felt for me. I was the husband, the 
 companion of this superior being who, seeking the 
 beautiful even in the most ordinary affairs of life, 
 could take pleasure only amid the splendors of art,
 
 94 BABOLAIN. 
 
 surrounded by the magnificence of gold and silk. 
 There must be veritable marvels in these packages. 
 
 My natural indifference to comfort and luxury 
 was now actually painful to me. Was it not the sign 
 of an intellectual coarseness which was doubtless 
 indelible ? I was anxious about it. With that ex- 
 ception, no cloud obscured our horizon. It is true I 
 watched my slightest gestures, my most unimportant 
 words with the greatest care. It must also be men- 
 tioned that the ladies were always out. 
 
 What delighted me was that my wife was begin- 
 ning to trust me, and I detected the first symptoms 
 of a great moral intimacy. One evening, while she 
 was unrolling her hair, she said to me : 
 
 " I made one great mistake, my dear, when I drew 
 my Cain. We give way to perfectly absurd raptures. 
 That sketch can never satisfy me ! Come, you know 
 me well enough now to appreciate me, do you really 
 think the barrenness of that design can satisfy me ? " 
 
 It was not only love, it was friendship, a blind 
 confidence in my judgment. If she had known how 
 ignorant I was of this grave question of color and 
 design 1 If she had dreamed that the two words 
 had not even a definite meaning to me ! And yet 
 at this moment I imagined I understood everything: 
 nothing was more simple, clearer, plainer. I an- 
 swered earnestly. 
 
 "Of course the sketch cannot satisfy you, my 
 darling, it cannot satisfy you ; it is beneath your pow- 
 ers." 
 
 " You talk foolishly. It is neither above nor be- 
 neath them. Stop, look here, my hair is not unbe- 
 coming raised in this way, I merely say that draw- 
 ing is not my forte. You see I have the Venetian 
 temperament color is my life." 
 
 " Could you not always dress your hair in that 
 way ? You look so pretty 1 " 
 
 " That wouldn't hold yes, the Venetian temper-
 
 BABOLAIN. 95 
 
 ament. I feel it, I after all, perhaps it might, I 
 must try with large pins. Do you know what would 
 suit this style of hair dressing admirably. A shower, 
 a profusion of pearls." 
 
 " Do you think so ? Well, there is nothing impos- 
 sible about that." 
 
 " You're a spendthrift. You know very well I 
 wouldn't put any pearls that might happen to come 
 along upon my head, and an ornament which would 
 suit me would cost too much. No, no, let us be rea- 
 sonable, and for the present think of nothing but the 
 decoration and furnishing of these rooms ; it is a se- 
 rious matter. And then, taking everything into con- 
 sideration, wouldn't it be infinitely wiser to have a 
 horse and carriage ? In so retired a situation as 
 this, it would be a safeguard : we may want a doctor 
 suddenly ; what could we do ? Lose two whole 
 hours in looking for a hack while one might die 
 twenty times over ? The mere thought makes me 
 shudder. My mother is not so well as one might 
 suppose. Her health must not be trifled with." 
 
 What I particularly admired in my Esther was 
 her power of imagination, and also the aristocratic 
 ease with which she discovered fresh windows to 
 throw money out of. Reduced to my own resources 
 I was crushed under the burden of my wealth with- 
 out being able to find any means of lessening its 
 weight. " But you always have a calash at your or- 
 ders," said I. 
 
 " Of course, we hire it, and it's horribly dear. 
 And you you must spend an immense amount in 
 cabs." 
 
 " I. No, I never take a carriage." 
 
 " Indeed ! But this is not all : we must consider 
 that a coachman will be like a second footman, and 
 one male servant is quite insufficient for this house- 
 hold. If you want to kill Joseph, you need only 
 compel him to continue the work he is doing. But
 
 96 BABOLAIN. 
 
 I'm talking foolishly. The master of the house must 
 decide these important questions." 
 
 While talking thus, she had continued to arrange 
 her hair. " Well, I declare, this does hold very firm- 
 ly. How do you like me with it dressed so ? It is 
 becoming, isn't it ? " 
 
 " You are charming," said I enthusiastically. 
 
 She came up to me and taking my head between 
 her hands, as one would a child's, exclaimed : 
 
 " Don't be silly enough to buy me pearls, at any 
 rate. You know nothing about them, not even where 
 to find them, while I am familiar with all the good 
 places. Well, come, won't you kiss me ? " 
 
 What would I not have done to deserve such hap- 
 piness ? Yes, yes, she should have a carriage, ser- 
 vants of her own, and I would see her pass in her 
 brilliant equipage. She must be queen by luxury, as 
 she was by genius and beauty. She should have 
 pearls, diamonds, ornaments ; her room hung with 
 satin should be a temple worthy of her. How could 
 I have compelled these two women to ride in a hack 
 until now ! 
 
 Soon the Venetian temperament of which Esther 
 had spoken recurred to my mind, and I perceived 
 that I actually had no idea as to the meaning of the 
 words. Yet I could not remain in ignorance of ques- 
 tions so indispensable to our mental unity, to the 
 community of ideas and emotions which was to 
 unite us. What did people mean by color and de- 
 sign ? The holidays gave me plenty of leisure, and I 
 resolved to study the subject. I purchased Dr. 
 Briicke's book, procured La Chromatique, et la Chro- 
 matographiejoy George Fied, and Newton's Optics, 
 and was soon completely absorbed in my task. It 
 was a positive delight. To satisfy at the same time 
 my longing for work, which had always been the piv- 
 ot of my life, and prove my affection for her by a study 
 which brought me nearer to her !
 
 BABOLAIN. 97 
 
 Unfortunately, in the huge apartment filled with 
 workmen and packages, it was impossible to find 
 even a single little corner where I could work at my 
 ease. After having broken several plates in the din- 
 ing-room before regaining possession of my books 
 and papers, and been driven successively from one 
 room into another where the uproar still pursued me, 
 I resolved to take possession of a large trunk in a 
 small store-room opening from the ante-chamber, and 
 intended to be used as a fruit-room. It was at this 
 door that my good Timol6on, who had quickly be- 
 come the familiar friend of the household, knocked 
 every day. 
 
 "Good-morning, little old man," said he; "are the 
 ladies at home ? You're at work ; don't disturb your- 
 self." 
 
 And when the ladies saw him enter they always 
 cried with a merry laugh : " Ah ! here he is, he has 
 come just in time ! " He really had the art of making 
 himself useful indispensable ; he drove nails, told 
 stories with wonderful spirit, moved the furniture, or, 
 climbing a step-ladder, wrote on the wall with a piece 
 of chalk, signs dictated by Esther. 
 
 " Make a straight line," said she. " Very well. 
 Now write in the middle of the left hand panel red 
 brown with a dash dear me, how slowly you write ! " 
 
 "It's because the ladder shakes, Marquise." He 
 was-so full of gayety that his jests never wounded 
 the feelings " A dash of what ? " 
 
 " Of cobalt. That's right. Trace another line 
 about fifty centimetres from the first, and between 
 the two write carved wood. Very well. Now in the 
 right hand panel put cloth of gold with black and red 
 branches. Come down quick, and see the effect." 
 
 " To tell you the truth, my dear Marquise, I don't 
 perceive that there has been any very material change 
 in the appearance of the wall within the last five min- 
 utes."
 
 98 BABOLAIN. 
 
 " You're a Bourgeois, you have no faith. Come 
 into the studio and help us arrange the pictures." 
 
 Timoleon played such amusing pranks and told 
 so many interesting anecdotes, that the ladies forgot 
 to go out, and we soon heard the clock in the Car- 
 melite church strike seven. 
 
 " Do you think there would be any harm in my 
 asking you for some dinner ? " murmured our friend 
 with an affectation of diffidence. 
 
 " What a joke, my dear Monsieur Timoleon ! 
 What have we for dinner, my daughter ? " 
 
 " Oh ! dear me. Why I forgot to order any ; 
 didn't you think of it, mamma ? " 
 
 " Certainly not, my darling ; I sent the cook to 
 the upholsterer's." 
 
 " And Joseph is at the dentist's having a tooth 
 out." 
 
 " A tooth ! The whole thirty four must have 
 gone ; he has been away ever since noon. We are 
 in a pretty plight." They were shouting with laugh- 
 ter. 
 
 "This is delightful, ladies," cried Timol<km;"I 
 don't know of a more artistic situation. Have you 
 some butter, eggs, a little saffron, and some fresh 
 fish ? I excel in making bouille-d-l>aisse." 
 
 " Come, let us be serious," said my mother-in- 
 law, turning to me. " Run to the nearest restaurant, 
 my friend, and meantime we will set the table." 
 
 " That's it, bravo ! " Esther clapped her hands, 
 turned up her little cuffs, and bounded over the piles 
 of packages, followed by her mother, dignified and 
 smiling as ever, who murmured : 
 
 " That charming Timol6on, what a flow of spirits ! 
 How lively he is ! " 
 
 When I had discovered my boots, found my hat, 
 and hunted up my cravat, I took myself off and re- 
 turned half an hour after escorted by a waiter carry- 
 ing an immense basket, while I had two bottles under
 
 BABOLAIN. 99 
 
 my arms and a corkscrew in my watch pocket. They 
 hastily opened the basket and out came everything 
 the proprietor of the restaurant had chosen to put in. 
 The strangest of dinners was the consequence : no 
 soup, but a lobster, prawns, a monumental pie, three 
 rolls, and not a drop of water. Timol6on was bril- 
 liant, the ladies were almost exhausted with laughing, 
 and everybody pulled at the piece of canvas which, 
 for want of napkins, they had spread over their laps. 
 
 I know not why, but I felt chilled by this wild 
 mirth, lost all appetite, and found it impossible to 
 smile. It was not merely restraint and embarrass- 
 ment that overpowered me, but actual sadness. 
 
 It was very natural they should make a little sport 
 of my piteous face, and I was not at all surprised ; 
 but they increased my embarrassment without making 
 me ajiy the more lively. When the meal was over, 
 Esther seated herself at the piano, and TimolSon 
 taking me aside, said : 
 
 " Now listen to me, my dear fellow, I can assure 
 you that you are making yourself perfectly ridicu- 
 lous with your contrite airs. I tell you so because we 
 are old friends. You are hurting these ladies' feel- 
 ings terribly." 
 
 " Do you really think so ? I had no intention " 
 
 " I'm sure of it. It's your own affair, you know ; 
 but pay attention to it, little old man." 
 
 " I .am in despair, Timol^on. Try to set the af- 
 fair to rights, my friend. You know how to explain 
 everything. Tell them I can't help it, that I had the 
 headache, that I am ill, tell them anything, but above 
 all, that they must not feel hurt." 
 
 As days and weeks elapsed,! experienced at rare 
 intervals a certain sensation of anxiety. I was more 
 in love with my wife than ever ; but the feverish ex- 
 citement of the first few moments was beginning to 
 decrease ; the bewilderment caused by the sudden 
 transformation in my whole life was somewhat calmed ;
 
 1 OO BABOLAIN. 
 
 I was beginning to feel the earth under my feet, and 
 at the same time the tastes and habits of former 
 days sometimes plucked me by the sleeve. Occa- 
 sionally, amid the disorder which was continually 
 changing its form without diminishing, I remembered 
 my little bachelor's room, small and bare, it is true, 
 but so well arranged ; my table, my books, my pa- 
 pers were all close at hand. Ah ! I would have 
 given much to live pleasantly and quietly, without 
 any parade, in a suite of modest little rooms where 
 intimacy is easy and one feels at home. It seemed 
 to me that amid such surroundings I would have had 
 more of my wife's society. When I was walking 
 along the street, and saw on the third stories of 
 houses windows with very white curtains, adorned 
 with gilliflowers, I could not turn my eyes away from 
 them. How much at their ease the people up there 
 must be ! 
 
 There are souls of different powers of flight : 
 some delight in great enterprises, vast designs ; they 
 need room to unfold their wings, and the endless 
 fields of fiction and the ideal soon become a neces- 
 sary space to them. The impossibility of the vision 
 attracts them ; they look it in the face without trem- 
 bling or shuddering, like eagles which gaze at the 
 sun. These are privileged beings, and doubtless 
 necessary to the moral equilibrium of the world. 
 But side by side with these birds of lofty flight how 
 many sparrows there are which never go above the 
 roofs, and are obliged to live happily on crumbs 
 left forgotten here and there. I was born a sparrow, 
 made to flutter two feet above the ground in unfre- 
 quented lanes bordered with hedges. 
 
 My pride was no longer wounded by it, though I 
 might have sometimes dreamed of the heights of 
 heaven. But I was troubled that so great an obsta- 
 cle should separate me from Esther. Yet should I 
 have loved her so much if nature had made her less 
 different from me ?
 
 B ABO LAIN. IOI 
 
 I examined this question under all its aspects. 
 What I could not deny was the ever-increasing re- 
 straint that I was compelled to impose upon myself 
 in order to share the life and pleasures of the ladies. 
 The interminable adornment of the suite of apart- 
 ments, the everlasting presence of workmen, the in- 
 cessantly modified plans and projects tortured me. 
 It was useless for me to try, I could no longer con- 
 ceal it from myself. 
 
 The carriage and horse had been purchased-a 
 magnificent animal, whose impatient prancing made 
 me shudder; and an irreproachable coachman, who 
 intimidated me quite as much, had increased the es- 
 tablishment of servants. He was a reserved, grave, 
 but very handsome man, dressed with studied ele- 
 gance, and was gifted with a wonderfully aristocratic 
 air. When in the presence of this person I felt the 
 necessity of maintaining my position, and even forced 
 myself to address him authoritatively, as my wife and 
 mother-in-law did. I had noticed their distant man- 
 ner and thoroughly aristocratic mode of uttering the 
 sentence : " Louis, you can bring out the carriage 
 for a two hours' drive," the gesture which emphasized 
 the order, and their way of turning the head as we do 
 when we call some one very far below us. I had ana- 
 lyzed all this, but when the moment for imitating my 
 model came, I felt an unconquerable shame ; it seemed 
 as if I was going to commit an infamous action. 
 Why humiliate this man who, physically at least, was 
 greatly my superior ? Might he not have believed 
 that I was jealous of him ? Then I used a thousand 
 little circumlocutions. 
 
 " Could you be ready at such an hour ? " I said. 
 
 I avoided calling him by his name, which seemed 
 arrogant in my position. " You will do the ladies a 
 favor by being punctual. Farewell." And I went 
 away with a smile. While I spoke to him in this way 
 his silence, his imperturbable seriousness dismayed
 
 IO2 BABOLAIN. 
 
 me. What sorrows, what moral tortures might be in 
 the heart of this man, who was certainly not in his 
 proper station. 
 
 It was impossible for me to pass him like a mile- 
 stone without speaking to him ; and whether he was 
 washing the wheels of the carriage in the courtyard, 
 harnessing the horse, or mounting his box, I cried : 
 "Ah! you are washing the wheels," or else: "You 
 will find it very warm to-day." 
 
 This was not proper. Mme. Paline, whom noth- 
 ing escaped, gave me to understand it clearly ; but 
 how was I to do otherwise ? 
 
 It was the same with my other two servants. At 
 times I would actually have liked to take their places 
 to avoid the sight of their servility, which I be- 
 grudged myself. If either rose at my approach, I 
 said in a low tone : " Pray sit still, is it worth while to 
 trouble yourself?" 
 
 I analyzed this impression and ascertained that 
 it contained a great deal of pride : the respect of 
 these worthy people seemed like a species of sarcasm ; 
 their purchased deference contrasted too violently 
 with the numberless jests whose object I had been all 
 my life. I was conscious of being still more ridicu- 
 lous beneath the plume with which they adorned my 
 head. How many times I have waited until the 
 coachman or footman had left the courtyard or the 
 ante-chamber, in order to go out without fear of being 
 saluted by them ! 
 
 Yet I should have been indignant if they had not 
 showed the ladies the deference and attention I did 
 not want for myself. When I heard the roll of the 
 carriage as it entered the courtyard, and saw my wife 
 and her mother in their rich dresses leaning back 
 among the cushions, I trembled with pleasure. I 
 raised the curtain and pressed my eyes against the 
 window pane, watching the slightest shades of varia- 
 tion in their naughty grace of bearing. I did not say
 
 BABOLAIN. IO3 
 
 to myself: "They owe everything to me." I have 
 never had such base feelings in my heart. I was very 
 far from reckoning upon their gratitude, since I was 
 well repaid by the pleasure the sight of them afford- 
 ed ; but I was proud of them and would have liked 
 to have them received with public enthusiasm on con- 
 dition of remaining an unknown spectator behind my 
 curtains, dressed in the frayed coat in which I was so 
 comfortable. 
 
 Under a thousand pretexts I took refuge in my 
 little corner, for there only I felt really at home. In 
 vain my poor Esther had given me a dressing-gown 
 of gray damask with greenish branches and sleeves 
 a la, Veronese, then very fashionable in the world of 
 art. In vain did she bestow upon me Indian slippers 
 ending in slender points ; I always avoided putting on 
 this costume, which weighed upon my shoulders like 
 a leaden shirt. I decked myself out in it two or three 
 times for breakfast, but I was always so constrained 
 and ridiculous in these magnificent ornaments that it 
 was impossible to make me put them on again. 
 
 X. 
 
 The vacation of several months which had kindly 
 been given me on the occasion of my marriage was 
 at last drawing rapidly to a close. I say at last, for 
 in spite of my love for my wife and my respectful af- 
 fection for my mother-in-law, it must be confessed 
 that I was looking forward with great impatience to 
 the time of resuming my course of lectures. More 
 and more incapable of sharing the life of the 
 ladies, and ignorant of all the usual occupations of 
 wealthy people, I was suffering keenly from my en- 
 forced idleness, which compelled me to lead a most 
 pitiable existence. " My mind," I said to myself, 
 " needs the healthful and substantial food of science,
 
 104 BABOLAIN. 
 
 exact analysis, inflexible reasoning. Thus alone can 
 I arrive at the intuition of the arts ; I must know 
 how to proceed, to go from the known to the un- 
 known. If I am foolish enough to throw myself with 
 bent head, without compass or guide, into the chaos 
 of sentimental impressionability, I may compromise 
 everything." 
 
 But how happy and light-hearted I felt when I 
 found myself once more in my large black gown, and 
 had drawn from the little green box where it was repos- 
 ing my professional cap, magnificent though some- 
 what worn. It seemed as if from the depths of the little 
 box I had regained my self-control. My colleagues 
 congratulated and shook hands with me, and these 
 trifles delighted me. The class-room looked cheer- 
 ful, pleasant to the eye the good, hospitable, sono- 
 rous class-room, with its walls decorated with a beau- 
 tiful, solid, yellow tints ; its freshly white-washed 
 ceiling destitute of gilt stars. I felt at ease, at 
 home ; my eyes wandered approvingly over the ink- 
 stained benches, the grated windows, the grayish 
 floor. Even so the warrior, returning from a distant 
 and glorious expedition, pauses with deep emotion 
 before the walnut trees and thatched roofs of his na- 
 tive village, which have been witnesses of his past 
 life. It even seems to him that only when confronting 
 these cottages and this steeple, do his military suc- 
 cesses assume a shade of heroism. 
 
 In like manner, while I was lecturing with the 
 boldness of a man who will neither be interrupted 
 nor opposed, my position as a husband and master 
 of a house became dazzling, radiant. 
 
 With my regular daily employment, order and 
 calmness were restored to my life. Labor, by re- 
 awakening my energy as a professor, turned my 
 thoughts from the thousand cares which had obtained 
 too great an influence over me. 
 
 1 loved my family none the less, but my individu-
 
 B ABO LAIN. 105 
 
 ality asserted itself a little more. Often when the 
 ladies' conversation rose to those realms of art which 
 I had never been able to enter, far from persisting 
 in following them, I quietly glided away in thought 
 and reflected upon the lesson for the next day, or 
 some new demonstration ; or else suffered myself to 
 float quietly back at the will of my memory towards 
 the years spent at school, which were by no means 
 so dark as I had supposed. 
 
 " When I have the honor of speaking to you, son- 
 in-law, it would be civil in you to do me the favor of 
 answering," said Mme. Paline suddenly. 
 
 " I beg a thousand pardons. Yes, of course, you 
 are right. I was thinking" 
 
 " Oh ! I thought you were asleep. You must 
 take some bitters ; your blood is getting thick." 
 
 In spite of these warnings I took refuge more 
 and more in a world of my own ; and while with the 
 ladies, led a life entirely apart from them. From 
 time to time, when conscious of my absence of mind, 
 I actually felt remorseful. Then I entered into the 
 life of the family again as if by a rebound, burst out 
 with all sorts of questions about furniture, servants, 
 dresses ; found the most astounding adjectives to ap- 
 ply to everything that surrounded me, and in my 
 eagerness to pay my debt of admiration almost 
 always overshot the mark and wounded the ladies 
 deeply. 
 
 I believe that at this time I was positively unbear- 
 able. Yet I loved them with all my heart ; but one can- 
 not wholly change his nature. Ah ! if they had been 
 able to understand with what delight I gave up the 
 management of the household to them ; with what 
 joy, from the depths of my shell, I gazed at their 
 luxury ! There was no portion of the establishment 
 whose fashionable appearance I did not observe with 
 pleasure, even to the servants, since I no longer 
 considered them mine. But they could not read
 
 IO6 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 my feelings. Yet I was sincerely touched, cordially 
 grateful to them for their kindness when they ush- 
 ered me into the beautiful study which had been 
 prepared for me, showed me the table covered with 
 green velvet where I was to work; the immense arm- 
 chair, carved like the rose window in a cathedral 
 where I was to sit ; the lion skin on which my feet 
 were to rest ; the Byzantine lamp suspended from the 
 ceiling; the Turkish sabres and Circassian pistols 
 that adorned the walls. Is ingratitude, selfishness, a 
 natural vice ? I do not know ; but that very day I 
 settled myself permanently in the fruit-room, arranged 
 my books and papers on, the shelves, placed in one 
 corner a little table and a straw chair, double-locked 
 the door of this sanctuary, and put the key in my 
 pocket. 
 
 After having taken this great step I felt the joy 
 of the freeman who has asserted his independence 
 once for all. And yet I swear that I worshipped 
 my wife. 
 
 About this time the great drawing-room was put 
 in tolerable order ; the walls upon which Esther was 
 going to execute some paintings remained bare, it is 
 true, but the gothic arm-chairs, the ottomans, the Ori- 
 ental carpets, the tables and chandeliers were placed 
 in regular order, and the ladies began to receive. 
 Contrary to my expectations, there was an immense 
 crowd at once, and on the very first day I had to greet a 
 Polish lady who was an inimitable violinist, an Italian 
 count, two Wallachian artists, and a Prussian major 
 who sketched landscapes and played on the bassoon. 
 These entertainments really promised to become 
 very brilliant. 
 
 " How do you happen to know all these people, 
 my darling ? " I said to my wife; "you have not trav- 
 elled a great deal." 
 
 " It seems, my dear, that the little fame I have is 
 enough to attract all Paris ; I cannot help it. It is
 
 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 the way of our artist world. People know already 
 that I intend to execute some decorative painting, 
 and many inquisitive persons undoubtedly come on 
 that account. I have even been obliged to show 
 them my sketches. In teaching, you have none of 
 these annoyances, you are not conspicuous like us. 
 Well, they are the inconveniences of the profession." 
 
 " Do you know that when you are in your draw- 
 ing-room you seem like a queen surrounded by her 
 court ! If I were jealous ! ha ! ha ! ha ! you are 
 handsome enough to you know very well I am only 
 joking. But I really was not aware that your genius 
 was so famous." 
 
 " See what comes of not reading the papers, 
 Monsieur le savant : the Ferme-Modele has devoted a 
 long article to me, which is by no means badly ex- 
 pressed." 
 
 " And you have told me nothing about it ! Then 
 success and fame at last crown your efforts. Ah ! how 
 happy I am, my dear Esther. Artists need glory, re- 
 nown, triumph. I understand that fully." 
 
 These receptions thenceforth appeared to me un- 
 der a new aspect ; they were proofs of my wife's 
 genius, and although I was forced to conquer a 
 thousand feelings of repugnance, I considered it a 
 duty to put a good face upon the matter. I tried to 
 be as unobtrusive as possible, for I knew perfect- 
 ly well that these artists did not come to see me, 
 but had merely been attracted by my wife's talent ; 
 it was therefore her place to do the honors of her 
 house ; my part was an entirely secondary one, and I 
 rejoiced over it in my heart. Yet I neglected no ex- 
 ertion to aid Esther in the discharge of her delicate 
 duties, sought to find a civil word for every one, and 
 hidden in the window corners, talked enthusiastically 
 about the only subjects which could interest them, my 
 wife's genius and decorative painting. It was no 
 slight labor. Although I set to work with great energy
 
 IO8 BABOLAIN. 
 
 to fulfil my task, it was evident that it was a heavy 
 one, for Esther,passing near me one evening, said : 
 
 "Your cravat is untied. But tell me; I am 
 ashamed, my poor friend, to make you sit up so late; 
 you rise very early ; at least don't feel obliged to 
 drain the cup to the last drop ; if you slip out quietly 
 no one will notice you." 
 
 " Nothing escapes your attention, my angel. I 
 talk continually to keep myself awake, but I am ac- 
 tually dying to go to sleep." 
 
 "Don't put yourself to the slightest inconvenience, 
 I beg of you." 
 
 What ! even in the midst of this entertainment 
 where every one was doing homage to her, she 
 thought of me. " What a kind heart ! " I said to my- 
 self as I beat a skilful retreat. 
 
 The license granted by my wife gave me all the 
 more pleasure, because I was unaccustomed to sit up 
 late, and twice already, on the mornings after these 
 entertainments, had not risen in time, and reached 
 the college five minutes late, which deeply humiliated 
 me. I had a religious respect for punctuality. I re- 
 membered an alarm clock I had purchased in the 
 country at the beginning of my career, and to avoid 
 another accident, resolved to make use of it as I did 
 then. So I set the little article very carefully, put it 
 behind the curtain, and kept myself awake to warn 
 Esther, who would certainly understand the necessity 
 which compelled me to adopt this course. 
 
 But the devil ordained that at the moment she came 
 in I should be sound asleep. The next morning, 
 precisely at half-past six, I was suddenly roused by a 
 terrible uproar with which I was no longer familiar ; 
 and while my conciousness of the truth was slowly 
 coming to me, my wife, rudely wakened, screamed : 
 
 " What is the matter ? Oh! dear, what is the mat- 
 ter ? " 
 
 "Calm yourself, my darling, it is nothing," I said
 
 B ABO LAIN. IO9 
 
 smiling to reassure her more fully. " See, Esther, it's 
 only a little alarm clock. I meant to tell you about 
 it last night ; but I fell asleep. I am very sorry, dar- 
 ling, and I beg your pardon." 
 
 These conciliatory words, accompanied by the noise 
 of the accursed machine, far from soothing her, only 
 excited her nerves still more. " Blockhead ! " she 
 cried, making the most despairing gestures, while 
 from the next room, which was occupied by Mme. 
 Paline, was heard the confused sound of a voice 
 screaming in tones of distress. Soon the partition 
 resounded with the blows dealt upon it, and all the 
 bells in the house began to ring. 
 
 Trembling for the result, I sprang out of bed and 
 hastily dressed by the faint light of dawn which was 
 beginning to steal into the room. My mother-in-law 
 would make her appearance directly, the servants 
 were already running to the spot I heard the distant 
 sound of doors. 
 
 " My darling, it is true, I confess, I have been 
 ridiculous. I ought not to have drawn the string out 
 to its full length, but your mother is very wrong to be 
 frightened." 
 
 " Don't insult my mother. Oh ! how wretched I 
 am." 
 
 I noiselessly left the room, holding my cravat in 
 my hand, and found myself face to face with the 
 chambermaid and cook, who came up rubbing their 
 eyes. 
 
 "It is nothing," I said soothingly, "nothing at all." 
 
 I had committed a folly, but could it be supposed 
 that a mere act of heedlessness would entail such bale- 
 ful consequences. 
 
 The fresh air completely restored me. While 
 walking on at random, I thought to myself: "It is 
 evident that the culture of the arts puts the brain 
 into a peculiar condition. Cannot an over-powerful 
 imagination be scientifically considered a disease ?
 
 IIO BABOLAIN. 
 
 A sublime malady, of course, but none the less a dis- 
 ease, a want of equilibrium between the nervous and 
 muscular systems. I ought to have warned her. The 
 slightest unexpected impression agitates, disturbs her, 
 and it is this excessive impressionability which rend- 
 ers her so charming and gives her her genius. How, 
 in this world, everything logically obtains a counter- 
 poise ! If I had not had a temperament and tastes en- 
 tirely opposed to hers, I should perhaps have been 
 indifferent to the delicate sensibilities of this excep- 
 tional nature. In electricity, opposite poles attract 
 each other, similar ones repel. Is not the effort we 
 make to understand each other the firmest bond which 
 could unite two beings ? What is tenderness if not 
 a succession of unsatisfied feelings of curiosity ? 
 What is moral communion, except the incessant fa- 
 miliar interchange of dissimilar ideas and impres- 
 sions ? The eternal law of the universe wills that 
 this state of things should be. Marriage is a salt, 
 and in every salt there is an acid and a basis. Now 
 would it not be very wrong for one of these elements 
 to complain because its neighbor has not the same 
 qualities as itself, when this dissimilarity is the cause 
 of their union ? " 
 
 "My poor Esther! it is very provoking that I 
 should not have warned her ! " 
 
 When, about eleven o'clock, I re-entered the Rue 
 Vaugirard,my first thought was to inquire for the la- 
 dies ; but before I could receive a reply, bursts of 
 laughter echoed from the drawing-room, and I recog- 
 nized Timol6on's voice. I rubbed my hands with de- 
 light. 
 
 This dear friend always came just at the right 
 moment ; undoubtedly his irresistible gayety had re- 
 paired the mischief 1 had done. I entered with a 
 smile upon my lips, but the ladies rose gravely. 
 " Come to your work, my child ; let us withdraw," 
 said Mme. Paline, who, as she passed me, hurled at me
 
 BABOLAIN. 1 1 1 
 
 a glance whose haughtiness expressed the utmost 
 contempt. 
 
 " Heaven bless you and your striking machines," 
 said Timol6on when he was alone with me. 
 
 " Ah ! do you know that ? It is true, my dear fel-, 
 low, I ought to have warned her, but I fell asleep." 
 
 " No, you see, little old man, there is an order of 
 things which you don't understand. You are all of 
 a piece, logical, square, straight as an I. To you, a 
 man of bronze with joints of steel, all fastidiousness, 
 all physical and moral shades of difference are ridicu- 
 lous weaknesses. You know but one meaning in 
 words, one form in ideas." 
 
 " Listen to me, my friend, allow me to tell you " 
 
 " I don't want you to tell me ; you are a material- 
 ist. The vague anxieties of the soul, its confused as- 
 pirations, its inexplicable sensibilities, all that consti- 
 tutes the nature of women, especially women who are 
 artists, is a closed book to you. Mme. Paline, whom 
 you will some day blush for having despised-*-" 
 
 " I not appreciate my mother-in-law ! Oh ! Timo- 
 I6on." 
 
 " I understand. Well, Mme. Paline said to me with 
 tearful eyes : ' I esteem my son-in-law, but I fear 
 him, he frightens me. ' And indeed, with your way 
 of analyzing every emotion, treating the soul as a 
 subject for anatomy, you are very capable, although 
 a very good fellcw, of making these two poor women 
 wretched." 
 
 "What are you saying? You are joking, of 
 course. They made wretched by me ! Why, what 
 have I done to them ? " 
 
 " Can one enumerate the thousand needle-pricks 
 which in the long run wound as deeply as a blow from 
 a dagger ? Besides, I know very well you are not 
 conscious of it, little old man." 
 
 " You do not know me. I am very sensitive, I as- 
 sure you."
 
 112 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 " Let me alone : You are a stoic and then, you 
 see, where there is no religion there is no sensibility." 
 
 "I have done everything in my power to gratify 
 their tastes and make them happy." 
 
 " There, see how you put your fortune above every- 
 thing else. We know of course that you are rich, 
 and that materially you do things very well : grand 
 pianos, cathedral organs, dignified coachmen, car- 
 riages, upholstery, furniture. There you are in your 
 element, it is clear, distinct, can be weighed and 
 measured." 
 
 "I think you are unjust, Timol6on, and you are 
 causing me great pain." 
 
 " Do you suppose your conduct gives me none, and 
 that if I did not love you with all my heart I should 
 have the courage to tell you my opinions so frankly ? 
 Besides, this doesn't prevent my defending and excus- 
 ing you to the ladies ; but it is useless for me to 
 try : is it possible that two such impressionable crea- 
 tures shquld not perceive the care you take to isolate 
 yourself from them, to remain indifferent to every- 
 thing that interests and occupies them ? Do you sup- 
 pose they do not notice the air of disdain with which 
 you talk about one thing when they are speaking of 
 another, and cut short every question relating to art . 
 by some commonplace remark. Why are they always 
 alone like two poor widows ? Why do you affect to 
 be a stranger in your own house, and leave the whole 
 burden of ordering and managing everything to these 
 ladies ? In short, why do you prove by all possible 
 means jhat you consider them inferior beings, which 
 is totally false ? When I think that you have not even 
 asked to see the rough draughts of the pictures your 
 wife is going to paint ! Come, old boy, is this affec- 
 tion ? " 
 
 " But I worship my wife, I swear it; I love her with 
 all my heart, and am ready to make every sacrifice for 
 her."
 
 BABOLAIN. 113 
 
 " Sacrifices again. Why that's all admitted ; you 
 
 fairly crush them with benefits are you satisfied ? 
 
 But if my words wound you, let us talk of something 
 else ; I have told you all this with the sole object of 
 doing you a service, and because my convictions, my 
 ideas my religion, let us say the word forbid me to 
 remain indifferent to the misfortunes of others. Now, 
 believe me, you are overlooking happiness; you have 
 never noticed the two estimable beings who live with 
 you, or rather you have never seen them except 
 through your abominable mathematical instruments. 
 Try to judge them with your heart." 
 
 " You are a true friend, though somewhat severe ; 
 but I thank you none the less. Give me your hand, 
 and then I will tell you the whole truth. You are go- 
 ing to breakfast with us ? " 
 
 "The ladies have breakfasted, at least, they have 
 eaten as much as their agitation allowed." 
 
 " Ah ! I was perfectly insane last night, I con- 
 fess." 
 
 " And I took a cup of coffee to keep, them com- 
 pany. Besides, I am late, I have an appointment 
 apropos of that ; I was forgetting that I have a favor 
 to ask you. But after the conversation we have just 
 had, will you do me a favor ? " 
 
 " Oh ! pshaw, my dear fellow, I can't allow that 
 joke to pass. What right have you to doubt my af- 
 fection ? " 
 
 " None, my little old man; so I shall apply to you. 
 In two words, the matter is just this : I am in press- 
 ing need of two thousand francs to-day." 
 
 I could not help starting, for the idea suddenly en- 
 tered my mind that perhaps I did not have that 
 amount. 
 
 4* If you can't lend me the trifle, don't inconveni- 
 ence yourself, I will go to that clever Vilser." 
 
 " Not at all ; why, see how angry you are getting." 
 
 " Well, you look as if you were trying to find an 
 8
 
 1 14 BABOLAIN. 
 
 excuse. I'm speaking to you frankly, with my heart 
 in my hand. No, I prefer to go to Vilser, devil take 
 it. You treat me as if I were importunate." 
 
 "Indeed!" 
 
 " You're not conscious of your rudeness. I don't 
 bear you any grudge for it, because I know your ways ; 
 but how do you suppose those two poor women, who 
 have thinner skins, can help being utterly crushed ? " 
 
 I turned towards a small ecritoire, and rummaged 
 the drawers. 
 
 " Ah ! fortunately I have almost as much as you 
 want. Here are seventeen hundred francs." 
 
 "I should have preferred two thousand, but give 
 them to me, eight, nine, ten, five and two make seven, 
 it is all right." 
 
 " It is impossible for me to lend you more, this is 
 all that is left of my sixty thousand francs." 
 
 I pretended to be perfectly calm, but I was 
 strangely agitated. It was the first time in my life 
 that any question of money had disturbed me so. 
 
 " But you are unreasonable," said Timol6on with 
 great gentleness ; " I know very well that to set up 
 housekeeping in this style requires a considerable out- 
 lay. It's only a little breach which 
 
 "It is not the only one, I remember now." 
 
 "With a little economy you will make it good. 
 Your mother-in-law seems to be such a skilful house- 
 keeper." 
 
 " Yes, certainly. The ladies have been obliged to 
 make a number of little expenditures indispensable 
 ones so they have drawn upon the treasury without 
 much calculation." 
 
 " Then they have the key of the cash-box ? " 
 
 "Of course. Uo you suppose I dole out money to 
 them by the crown piece? I put a certain sum into 
 this drawer and look at it occasionally ; or else the 
 ladies tell me, and I replace the money when it is 
 necessary. The plan has always succeeded very well.
 
 BABOLAIN. 1 1 5 
 
 If I had pursued any other course I should have hurt 
 their feelings and been ashamed of myself. Have 
 we not the same interests! I will go to the notary's 
 for more funds some time in the course of the day, 
 that's all." 
 
 " I'm sorry for it; but you see, I have this note due. 
 You are not in love, old philosopher ? " 
 
 " Not in love ! I'm passionately in love with my 
 wife, you know very well." 
 
 " You're wisely, reasonably in love ; you never com- 
 mit any follies. I allow myself one. It must be con- 
 fessed that this time the princess is worth the trouble. 
 Dear little angel ! I have never seen any harm in it 
 in my life ; oh ! well, I wouldn't have believed a poor 
 uneducated child could have so much frankness and 
 purity, such noble aspirations. No, indeed, I have 
 never had my soul more expanded. Now we are on 
 the subject, tell me exactly what I owe you in all, lit- 
 tle old man. I want to settle it, I hate to have debts 
 of long standing." 
 
 " Oh ! there is no hurry about it," said I consult- 
 ing a little note-book I kept in a special drawer under 
 lock and key. " You owe me in all twelve thousand 
 two hundred francs." 
 
 "You're very exact. Oh! you're right; I admire 
 you. How it does roll up, it is surprising! Twelve 
 thousand two hundred. I will settle it at once, my 
 dear fellow." 
 
 " Whenever you choose; but let us say no more 
 about it." 
 
 " No joking. I shall attend to it without fail. 
 Well, good-bye, little old man." 
 
 " Sixty thousand francs," I murmured while break- 
 fasting. " Why, it is confusion, it is ruin where can 
 the money go ?" I saw a gulf yawning at my feet. I 
 had often been troubled by vague anxieties, but had 
 always deferred until the morrow the care of analyz- 
 ing this uneasiness, which seemed to me a token of a
 
 Il6 BABOLAIN. 
 
 narrow, despicable soul. Face to face with so pro- 
 digious an expenditure, my petty plebeian instincts of 
 economy and system suddenly awoke, it was necessa- 
 ry to examine the evil thoroughly and apply a reme- 
 dy, for it was impossible to remain in such a situation. 
 I was grateful to my kind Timol6on, who, by his un- 
 expected borrowing, had opened my eyes and com- 
 pelled me to adopt some definite course of action. 
 Therefore, after breakfast, I went to the studio where 
 my wife and her mother were sitting. I was resolute, 
 but very calm. 
 
 Esther, holding an immense palette, her hair 
 dishevelled, her eyes beaming, and her hands con- 
 cealed under long gloves, seemed to be in the act of 
 seizing some inspiration. The furniture was loaded 
 with drapery, cartoons, and engravings. 
 
 " I hope I am not disturbing you, ladies," I said 
 gently. 
 
 Mme. Paline's only reply was a little dry cough, 
 which reminded me of the deplorable incident of the 
 alarm clock. How difficult it would be to get at the 
 financial question ! 
 
 " My dear Esther, my kind mother, I have come 
 to make my apologies for my awkwardness this morn- 
 ing, and " 
 
 " Oh ! don't say another word about it ; it would 
 end by setting our teeth on edge. You are in my 
 light, my dear, you see I am working." 
 
 " True," I said more boldly, " excuse me. The 
 idea of my standing stupidly directly in your light. 
 And you, mother, I hope you will pardon this ridicu- 
 lous little accident." 
 
 " I should never have dared to make use of that 
 adjective, but since you employ it, it meets with my 
 approval : ridiculous indeed, extremely ridiculous. 
 Let us stop there. You have noisy habits of early 
 rising to which we shall know how to submit. You 
 were not late this morning I hope your young lads
 
 B ABO LAIN. 117 
 
 studied well. It would oblige me if you would not 
 crush the engravings on that chair by sitting down 
 upon them." 
 
 " Ah ! I beg your pardon. I crush the engravings, 
 I stand in the light ! What is the matter with me to- 
 day ? " 
 
 " Why nothing extraordinary, it seems " 
 
 I turned to my wife : " Oh ! this is the sketch of 
 the for the drawing-room. You have worked very 
 industriously, my darling, and are beginning to put on 
 the colors." 
 
 " Yes, I am beginning to put on the colors." The 
 two ladies exchanged pitying glances. I felt that I 
 had indeed spoken like a veritable plebeian. I was 
 always wounding them by my awkwardness and inad- 
 vertence ; it must be confessed that my mind was pre- 
 occupied by the money question. Thus I perceived 
 it was necessary to compliment her upon her work, 
 but what was I to say ? I could distinguish nothing 
 in these sketches but a perfectly unintelligible con- 
 fusion. Yet I wished to make myself agreeable in 
 order to lead the more gently to the fatal explanation. 
 Fortunately, an interesting recollection recurred to 
 my mind : 
 
 " What astonishes me," I said eagerly, " is that the 
 light constantly coming from the left side does not 
 annoy you horribly." 
 
 " We stand so as to prevent the colors from shin- 
 ing." 
 
 " It would not surprise me if this custom was the 
 cause of grave errors in the appreciation of colors." 
 
 " That is a new idea ; and why, if you please ? " 
 
 " On account of the sclerotic light, my darling." 
 Sure of interesting them deeply by this little scientific 
 detail, of which they were doubtless ignorant, I had, 
 I believe, pronounced the word sclerotic with a cer- 
 tain emphasis. The two ladies began to laugh; but i 
 was not much disconcerted, for I knew very well I was
 
 1 1 8 BABOLAIN. 
 
 right. I continued : " It must first be observed that the 
 light which reaches the back of the eye does not enter 
 only by the pupil ; the sclerotic coat, otherwise called 
 the opaque cornea, or the white of the eye if you prefer, 
 and which in you has such a delicate tinge of blue " 
 " You are very complimentary." 
 " You will understand, in an instant : the sclerotic 
 coat and the vascular tissue underneath both permit 
 a large portion of the external light to pass." 
 
 " Oh ! dear, what are you saying to me ! " asked 
 my wife with comical terror. 
 
 " Perhaps it is very interesting," observed Mme. 
 Paline ; " let your husband continue his lecture, dar- 
 ling." 
 
 " I will not go on if it is disagreeable to you." 
 "On the contrary, I already feel the greatest sym- 
 pathy for this sclerotic coat." 
 
 " Little rogue," I continued : "a large portion of 
 light then passes through the sclerotic coat and the 
 vascular tissue 
 
 " Beneath, it is understood." 
 
 " Beneath, of course. Now this light becomes 
 tinged with red in its passage through the membranes 
 of the eye, then spreads out diffusely over the retina, 
 and, in consequence of its color, diminishes the reti- 
 na's susceptibility to red." 
 
 " You will break my heart ; but what can I do to 
 help it ? " 
 
 " There would not in fact be any inconvenient re- 
 sult if this sclerotic light entered the eyes equally ; but 
 as in painting you always have the window on the left, 
 it follows that much more enters the left eye than the 
 right ; and consequently, in artists, the retina of the left 
 eye is less sensitive to red than that of the right." 
 " That is unfortunate ; and then ? " 
 " Then ! pear me, why that's all. The equilibri- 
 um between the two eyes might perhaps be restored
 
 BABOLAIN. 1 19 
 
 by the aid of spectacles with glasses of different 
 colors." 
 
 " You're secretly in partnership with a dealer in 
 glasses, there's no doubt about it, and you want to sell 
 your wares." 
 
 The financial question was receding farther and 
 farther. By a fortunate accident my mother-in-law 
 gave me an opportunity of returning to it. 
 
 " My dear son-in-law," she said with great affabili- 
 ty, " I have just received some bills, I don't know ex- 
 actly what they are for hangings, furniture, etc. You 
 will see. I must point out to you in regard to the 
 coachmakers account, that the prices were agreed 
 upon between the man and myself. All the papers are 
 yonder on the table but go on with your little lesson, 
 I beg of you." 
 
 " I have finished." Then muttering to myself : " It 
 must be said, it must ; come Babolain, be a man." 
 
 " Do these bills amount to a large sum ? " I asked 
 in a smothered tone. 
 
 " Look yourself, my friend ; the whole collection is 
 over there you're stepping on my dress ; take care ! " 
 
 I began to look them over, and in the first place 
 read : " Byzantine lamp in enamel, fifteen hundred 
 francs. Original drawing attributed to Veronese, nine 
 hundred francs." 
 
 I was bewildered, and felt a tempest raging within 
 me and ready to burst forth. " What ! " said I, " that 
 hideous old night lamp in the next room cost fifteen 
 hundred francs, when I have lived for a whole year 
 on the same sum ? Where are we going ? this is 
 frightful. My good mother, my dear Esther, reflect. 
 We are lost, ruin awaits us, if you do not pause 
 upon this fatal declivity. What ! not a bill paid ! 
 Then for what have the immense sums I have placed 
 in the drawer been used ? For what ? It is the very 
 madness of extravagance and improvidence. These 
 apartments, which surpass in luxury the abodes of
 
 I2O BABOLAIN. 
 
 princes, these horses, these carriages ! It is bound- 
 less, it is a gulf, an increasing indefinite mathemati- 
 cal progression." 
 
 The silence that surrounded me like an icy man- 
 tle soon produced its effect : my tongue faltered, the 
 words came with difficulty, and at last I stopped 
 short, bewildered by my own audacity. 
 
 " I see I was not mistaken in regard to you, Mon- 
 sieur," murmured Mme. Paline with sovereign digni- 
 ty. " Do not be afraid, your interests shall be pro- 
 tected ; I will pay all the expenses that have been 
 incurred here from my own property. You hear me. 
 And now you can withdraw." 
 
 It was utterly impossible to resist the authority 
 of such a deportment. I was advancing towards the 
 door in great agitation, when Esther, seizing me by 
 the arm, cried : " So you want a separation. You are 
 not satisfied, miserable man, with having broken our 
 hearts by a thousand tortures, a thousand mortifica- 
 tions, you want to taste the joys of the tiger; that is 
 what you want." 
 
 With her eyes flashing, her nostrils dilating, her 
 lips half parted, her face almost concealed beneath 
 the luxuriant hair that had fallen from its bonds, she 
 was exquisitely beautiful I could not help it I 
 turned, and suddenly clasping her in my arms, cried : 
 " My Esther, my love I I am a very poor man ! " 
 and hurriedly made my escape. 
 
 While on my way to my lawyer's I thought to my- 
 self: " Yes, I am a very poor man. Nothing is more 
 contemptible than to upbraid another with a benefit, 
 and upbraid with such violence." The more I re- 
 flected upon my inexcusable outbreak, the baser and 
 more despicable I found myself. It was through 
 weakness, foolish pride, and awkwardness, rather 
 than tenderness, that I had allowed these two poor 
 women to become involved in a course of mad ex- 
 penditures of whose consequences they were ignorant ;
 
 BABOLAIN. 121 
 
 would not a word have been sufficient to open their 
 eyes before their improvidence had become a habit ? 
 I had never been ignorant of the fact that they need- 
 ed to live in an atmosphere of luxury, surrounded by 
 delicate and refined pleasures. I knew they were 
 not accomplished housekeepers, economical and at- 
 tentive to the petty details of every-day life, but en- 
 thusiastic, lavish, poetical, incapable of calculating 
 and foreseeing ; and was it not precisely those very 
 qualities which had attracted me to them ? Had I 
 not enjoyed their magnificence and prodigality ? Pit- 
 eously, it is true, and like a miser ; but, after all, had 
 I not enjoyed it? And now that I was obliged to 
 pay for the expenditure I had encouraged, my avarice 
 raised its head, and in pious indignation I appealed 
 to morality, to the holy domestic virtues. If I had 
 even made this money but it had fallen to me from 
 the skies. How can I ever understand these great 
 poetic souls soaring through space, I who trudge 
 along in the path like a timid beggar, having no 
 other horizon than the pebbles in the road ? 
 
 Yet a faint, almost smothered voice to which I did 
 not wish to listen, but could not help hearing, said : 
 " Is happiness so far away ? Would they not have 
 been contented amid plainer surroundings? Were 
 you not born, fool that you are, for the calm and 
 quiet joys of a laborious, orderly life ? Your wife 
 should be a simple, economical, prudent girl, having 
 no other ambition than to nurse her children and 
 govern her household, and then perhaps you might 
 have become a distinguished savant ; instead of being 
 the pitiful husband of a woman of genius, you might 
 have undertaken one of the noble works of which 
 you dreamed when you were poor ; and people would 
 have hailed you on your way as they greet one who 
 has fulfilled the task Providence marked out for him." 
 The voice spoke to me thus ; but far from heeding it, 
 I thought : " How skilful man is in deceiving him-
 
 122 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 self! What is there in this humble, narrow life which 
 seems to me like an ideal vision, except the desire to 
 amass wealth ? Should I have such thoughts if I were 
 not an egotist and a miser ? But, by Heavens, I will 
 tear these passions from my heart ;you shall no longer 
 have to blush for them, my Esther;! will no longer 
 be an obstacle to your genius and your glory ! " 
 
 And I proceeded on my way to my notary's with 
 the energy of a man who rushes forward to storm a 
 breach. 
 
 XI. 
 
 I returned from the notary's with my pockets full 
 and my mind somewhat calmed. I had decided upon 
 my course : I would mortgage my vineyards, sell a 
 small farm, and obtain as much advantage as possible 
 from my title of professor by giving private lessons. 
 I was convinced that, unconsciously to myself, I had 
 been basely jealous of Esther's fame. True, I could 
 not prove this jealousy by facts, but disgraceful feel- 
 ings know how to conceal themselves so skillfully 
 within the deepest recesses of the heart ! Yes ! yes ! 
 I had been jealous of my wife's superiority, and I 
 would punish myself for it. 
 
 While awaiting the time which would not be 
 long deferred when she could sell her works for 
 their weight in gold ; when she should obtain the for- 
 tune her genius assured her, I wanted her to have all 
 the material pleasures money procures ; I must hon- 
 estly provide her with the luxuries which were neces- 
 sities to her. If either must be sacrificed to the 
 other, it was only just that it should be I I without 
 genius, without wants, born for obscurity. And be- 
 sides, the idea of imposing upon myself, for her sake, 
 a heavy task of which all the world would be igno- 
 rant, greatly consoled me. I should thus compel her 
 to accept, without her being able to help it, the fruit
 
 B ABO LAIN. 123 
 
 of my labor. It would no longer be money fallen 
 from the sky, but money I had earned, and earned 
 with painful toil. 
 
 Scarcely had I re-entered the house when I went 
 towards the little room where the chest of drawers 
 stood, to deposit in them the contents of my pocket- 
 book. Although I had rung the bell without any 
 special caution, and had not thought of hushing the 
 sound of my steps, the ladies, though the study door 
 was half open, did not hear me ; for in spite of my 
 presence they continued their conversation as if I 
 was not there ; and it was this very conversation which 
 made me understand the full extent of the wrong I 
 had done them : 
 
 " Knowing himself to be rich," said Esther, " he 
 believes himself intelligent; that's perfectly natural. 
 We seem fools to him, nothing more." - 
 
 " Do not utter blasphemies, my love." 
 
 " And I, who had dreamed of marriage as a com- 
 munion of enthusiastic feelings, a constant soaring 
 towards the pure regions of the ideal, find instead of 
 this, a shameful and dishonoring slavery, the subjec- 
 tion of my soul to the will of a being inflexible as 
 steel." 
 
 " Your father was the same, my love ; I know what 
 people suffer ! " 
 
 " It's enough to kill one ! " 
 
 " Yes, it is indeed ; but I am here, my child. And 
 in the first place, I will have our situation perfectly 
 clear ; I will compel him yes, I will impose the shame 
 upon him, I will compel him to accept the payment 
 for my board, which hitherto I did not dare to offer, out 
 of consideration for him, I will pay him as we pay 
 an innkeeper, a common tradesman, a shoemaker." 
 
 " Let us behave like Christians, mother." 
 
 " But what would become of you, my dear, if I 
 should die ? what would become of you in this hell ?" 
 
 " I should find an invincible strength in the love
 
 124 BABOLAIN. 
 
 of my art. Oh! I feel it; all the ardor of my soul 
 bears me towards painting, towards that passion for 
 the beautiful which is devouring me. Oh ! God, it 
 is through suffering that genius is purified." 
 
 " You are worthy of all admiration, my poor 
 angel." 
 
 " Henceforth I shall devote myself to religious 
 painting ; that alone can harmonize with my mood 
 now. I will paint sorrow and resignation in impas- 
 sioned touches. My Abel was, I see, a successful 
 effort, only I sketched with siccatives, so that I was 
 mistaken about the causes of my failure. Color is 
 for bright, happy souls ; to be a colorist one must 
 have the sun in nature and in the heart. Those fair 
 days have passed. An austere style, pure, simple 
 drawing will console me. Yes, for the next exhibi- 
 tion I still have a fortnight I will make two allegor- 
 ical figures, on a golden background, in the style of 
 the ancients. It shall be : Despair supported by 
 Religious Feeling ; a group. I see, I feel it. I will 
 paint Despair from myself, to dispense with models, 
 and you will sit for Religious Feeling, won't you, 
 mother ? My career is beginning anew. We will see 
 what the name of poor Esther Paline, the fool, the 
 enthusiast, will become. Will you go out with me, 
 mother, I am Stirling ! and then we'll go to the 
 gilder's to order the golden background." 
 
 " I will order the carriage. What misery ! Great 
 Heavens ! " 
 
 "And we will return through the Champs Ely- 
 sdes." 
 
 " Especially as we must go down the Rue Royale 
 for the chandelier." 
 
 While making due allowance for the exaggeration 
 natural to artists, I saw only too clearly by this con- 
 versation how deep was the suffering of these ladies. 
 Chance inflicted a harsh but salutary lesson ! I took 
 a secret vow that it should not be useless to me, and
 
 B ABO LAIN. 125 
 
 that I would do all in my power to rehabilitate myself 
 in their eyes and regain their affection. 
 
 From that day forth I was attentive to everything, 
 and anticipated their wishes to the best of my ability ; 
 unfortunately I usually guessed wrong. I eagerly 
 interested myself in everything they liked, over- 
 whelmed them with attentions, and made them a 
 thousand little presents. On leaving my lecture-room 
 I rushed to Chevet's to get the early fruits, of which 
 Mme. Paline was very fond ; at other times I pur- 
 chased rare flowers to fill the drawing-room in short 
 I did the very best I could. 
 
 They accepted everything with a cold politeness 
 that greatly distressed me. I was conscious, it is 
 true, that I did not set about it properly ; I did not 
 know how to offer my gifts ; they never came just at 
 the right moment, but too soon or too late ; and they 
 could read in my attentions the efforts I was making 
 to render them more attractive. One would have 
 said my conduct inspired them with a species of dis- 
 trust, and repelled them from me. My violent out- 
 bursts had certainly caused them to feel less repug- 
 nance than my present humility and dull submission. 
 They no longer hated me ; but I wearied them. I had a 
 proof of it one evening. There was company at the 
 house I was very tired, having worked ever since 
 early morning, when my mother-in-law approached, 
 and smiling kindly at me, which she had not done 
 for a long time, said : 
 
 " Son-in-law, your dear little wife is very ill. f Oh ! 
 don't be alarmed ; it is nothing dangerous, but she 
 needs rest, perfect quiet, a few nights of sound sleep 
 will doubtless restore her." 
 
 " You really think it will be nothing serious ? My 
 poor Esther! Perhaps she sits up too late." 
 
 " Perhaps she is awakened too early; besides, it is 
 the doctor's advice. You leave the house at day- 
 break"
 
 126 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 " Yes, I am so busy " 
 
 " I have no intention of censuring your acts ; 
 they do not concern me, but your early departure and 
 the noise it causes trouble her very much. It would 
 be prudent for her to avoid all kinds of disturbance 
 for some time ; where shall I have your bed made ? " 
 
 It seemed as if I was going to be ill, so violent 
 was my agitation, yet there was nothing unnatural in 
 Mme. Paline's words. 
 
 " In my little study, if you please ; there I shall 
 disturb no one." 
 
 "In the fruit -room? As you please. Will you 
 give me the key of that boudoir ? " 
 
 " Thank you, I am going there myself." 
 
 I could not accept this banishment without having 
 an explanation with Esther, bidding her good-night 
 and embracing her. I waited until every one had 
 gone, and then knocked at the door of her room. 
 
 " I am very much obliged to you, my dear," she 
 said instantly, " you won't have very good accommo- 
 dations in that little hole, but then you have a fancy 
 for small corners." 
 
 " It is you who are concerned in this matter, my 
 darling ; so you are very ill ? " 
 
 " I am very tired, that's all. I am working too 
 much on account of the picture I want to finish." 
 
 " But what a piece of imprudence. To execute 
 a work of so much importance in a fortnight ! " 
 
 " That is another question. It is certain that I 
 can no longer sleep. It is because I am feverish, 
 and Because without any disrespect to you you 
 snore like a hero." 
 
 I would have preferred anything, even her anger, 
 to this little remark so gently uttered. 
 
 "But you should have waked me told me : noth- 
 ing in the world is more intolerable 
 
 " Waked you ! Do you suppose that is an easy 
 matter ? When you are sound asleep, and you gen-
 
 B ABO LAIN. 127 
 
 erally are, you would be insensible to the reasoning 
 of a boxer. Besides, when, after a sleepless night, I 
 am just beginning to get a little rest, the reveille 
 sounds for you, and the noise you must understand 
 it. Come, don't look at me in that melancholy way ; 
 I'm not vexed with you, but I need a vacation ; there, 
 that is the truth. Kiss me, you see I'm not vexed 
 with you ; good-night, my dear." 
 
 " Good - night," I murmured. I was about to 
 press my lips to her forehead, and, as she bent her 
 head, I kissed her hair. 
 
 The idea that, unconsciously to myself, during 
 my slumber, I had imposed upon her a torture per- 
 fectly unendurable to a nervous woman, haunted me. 
 And in spite of all, she had had the goodness not to 
 make me a single reproach ! Ah ! if she could have 
 read my heart, seen with what eagerness I vowed to 
 redouble my attention and homage ! But the mis- 
 fortune was, that I did not know how to make myself 
 understood, I seemed to be imprisoned in an accurs- 
 ed armor I could not cast off. If she could have 
 realized the strange joy I felt for several days in 
 watching the drawer empty with increasing rapidity, 
 and saying to myself : " At least they will not accuse 
 me of avarice." If she could have seen the effort I 
 was making. 
 
 Thus the fruit-room became my sleeping cham- 
 ber. I was, of course, very unhappy ; and yet one 
 sometimes has strange impressions the feeling of 
 independence I experienced within those four walls 
 was not without its charm. I was away from her, it 
 is true, but I was more free to think without fear of 
 displeasing her, by looking at or approaching her, of 
 irritating her by an indiscreet question, or the shrill 
 tone of my voice. In fancy, I could gaze into her 
 face, take her hands, cover her with kisses, press her 
 to my heart, and I no longer trembled for the conse- 
 quences of my boldness. In fact, I possessed her
 
 128 BABOLAIN. 
 
 more completely. And in the evening these follies 
 return to my mind when I embraced my pillow, mur- 
 muring: "Good-night! my Esther, good-night ! my 
 love," I imagined I could see her smile, and was 
 grateful to her for it. And in the morning at day- 
 break, while I hastily ate a bit of bread and some 
 chocolate, I talked to her aloud without fear of wak- 
 ing her, told her my most secret thoughts, discussed 
 mathematics, and she did not yawn. I reckoned be- 
 fore her the number of my lessons, consulted her 
 about the means of making them still more numer- 
 ous, told her of the money I had earned, calcu- 
 lated what it brought us in per day, per hour. 
 " You see you can play the princess, my little dar- 
 ling," I said, embracing her, and it was evident that 
 she was not indifferent. 
 
 Yes, I was very happy in that little fruit-room, and 
 thanks to my habits of analysis and criticism, I had 
 the good fortune not to let a single one of these joys 
 pass without testing and squeezing it like an orange. 
 
 One day, when I was returning from the college, 
 walking very quickly along the walls and carrying 
 under my arm a huge bundle of books and papers, I 
 heard Timole'on's voice behind me. 
 
 " Have you turned peddler, little old man ? What 
 has become of you what are you doing? " 
 
 " I am busy I I have a great deal of work to 
 do," I replied. " How are you ? " 
 
 " To judge by the size of your baggage, your oc- 
 cupations are by no means trivial. Are you begin- 
 ning the famous work you know the book you in- 
 tended to write? " 
 
 " No, oh ! no that is, yes ; I am thinking of it, 
 but in short you have just come from the ladies ? " 
 
 " Of course, and I hoped to meet you there, but 
 you are becoming impossible to find. I said to Mme. 
 Paline just now: ' Where have you hidden my friend, 
 in what closet have vou shut him up ? Have you
 
 BABOLAIN. 129 
 
 sold or exchanged him ? ' I saw at once I should 
 try in vain to make them smile. Your prolonged ab- 
 sences grieve those two poor women deeply." 
 
 " Is that true ? " I asked suddenly ; " did my wife 
 speak of me to you ? " 
 
 I should have liked to confess that I was work- 
 ing for them ; that, having been occupied ever since 
 early morning,! had breakfasted on a roll bought at a 
 bakers shop I passed. But was not confessing this 
 to him to make a parade of devotion, when I was only 
 doing my duty, nothing more. And then, in Timo- 
 I6on's eyes, it was coming down from my little scien- 
 tific pedestal. Besides,! saw plainly that he consid- 
 ered me a hypocrite, who wished to conceal his con- 
 duct. 
 
 " Listen to me, my little old man : I have already 
 told you so once before you are in a miserable way; 
 on pretext of important occupations, you neglect 
 your family. Your mother and wife weep and la- 
 ment over it, mourning has entered the household. 
 All this must be changed. Ah ! let me speak, or I 
 shall no longer trouble myself about anything. The 
 two poor women need some lively amusement ; it is 
 absolutely necessary to arrange a little entertainment, 
 a fancy ball, for instance : when all Paris is amusing 
 itself masquerading, committing all sorts of follies, 
 why the deuce should they remain yonder alone in 
 their convent in the Rue Vaugirard ? " 
 
 " But, my friend, perhaps you think that " 
 
 " I merely think you remain for whole days ab- 
 sent from your home ; that you scarcely re-enter it at 
 meal times. Is this true or not ? " 
 
 " Yes, it is true, but " 
 
 " Oh pshaw ! there are no buts. Facts are facts. 
 A man who loves his wife doesn't act so. I tell you 
 this frankly, for my heart really bleeds when I hear 
 those poor ladies murmur. ' What does he do ? 
 Why does he desert us in this way ? What habits is 
 9
 
 I 30 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 he forming away from his home ? With what people 
 does he associate ? Why does he envelop himself in 
 mysteries ? Does he not believe in anything, even 
 God ? You are not behaving well, my dear fellow." 
 
 I could no longer conquer my emotion, and re- 
 plied: 
 
 " There are no mysteries in my life, Timolton. 
 work very hard, that is all. I am giving hum, hum, I 
 am giving a great many lessons, being a little embar- 
 rassed just now." 
 
 " What, embarrassed ! You're joking, I suppose. 
 Embarrassed with your fortune ? Do you happen to 
 want to remind me that I haven't settled our ac- 
 counts ? You shall be paid, my dear fellow confound 
 it, of course you shall be paid." 
 
 " Timol6on, my friend, my old schoolmate, pray 
 don't imagine that." His remark wounded me deeply. 
 Then I had again been acting very badly for the best 
 of men to believe me capable of such feelings ! "Do 
 not desert me," I continued, " you know how awk- 
 ward I am. With you it is very different. You are 
 right, we must amuse my wife, give a ball, a masquer- 
 ade, certainly there is no doubt about it. Their 
 health, their happiness must take precedence of 
 everything else. You will arrange all this, won't 
 you ? But believe me, I have told you the truth : I give 
 lessons because I am short of money." 
 
 " Don't say a word about it to those two poor 
 women, at least, it would hurt their feelings ! What 
 a humiliation ! They could not endure it. But how 
 did you get so reduced ? Have you been making 
 unlucky speculations ? " 
 
 " Yes, that is it. I have been speculating." 
 
 " In a word, you've been gambling you're a gam- 
 bler ! oh ! poor creatures ! " 
 
 " No, I am not a gambler ; it is an accident; you 
 know how such things go? An investment people 
 may be mistaken. Don't say anything to them ; the
 
 BABOLAIN. 131 
 
 misfortune will soon be repaired. You swear you 
 won't say anything to them." 
 
 " Yes, of course I swear it. Should I tell them 
 that to kill them ? " 
 
 " Thank you, you are always very kind. You 
 won't forget the little entertainment ? I have no time 
 to attend to it." 
 
 What a good idea that was of Timol6on's ! What 
 an experienced man he was, and what an excellent 
 friend. On the following morning I could see the ef- 
 fects of his benevolent intervention : the idea of the 
 ball was like a reviving balsam. Esther, exhausted 
 by working upon her large picture with the golden 
 background, was suddenly re-animated, and gave her- 
 self up without reserve, with all her artistic enthusiasm 
 to the preparations for the ball. Meantime the little 
 entertainment, which was at first to be only a party 
 of intimate friends, gradually assumed a ceremonious 
 character which made me uneasy. The list of invi- 
 tations lengthened every moment, and already three 
 workmen were installed in the drawing-rooms cutting 
 and nailing almost day and night. Timol6on gave 
 directions for everything, and never left the house ; 
 and every evening, when I came in, I noticed with 
 great pleasure the eager activity of the ladies. 
 
 " At least they are happy and have not reproached 
 me even once," I said to myself;" what does the rest 
 matter ? " 
 
 My dear wife, gay, joyous, active, running hither and 
 thither, flying into a passion, laughing heartily, think- 
 ing of everything, anticipating everything, was like a 
 general on the eve of a battle. I said to myself : 
 " She is much better ; she will be perfectly well, and 
 there will soon be no necessity for the regimen she is 
 now compelled to follow." Oh ! God, what a joyful 
 thought ! 
 
 " I'll wager you are thinking of going to bed, my 
 little old man," said Timol6on clapping me on the 
 shoulder; "it is ten o'clock."
 
 132 BABOLAIN. 
 
 I did not wish to let the extreme fatigue I always 
 felt at this hour be perceived. " Why so ? "I an- 
 swered. " Look, my friend, see how pretty my wife is ! 
 She doesn't appear to be ill now, does she ? How 
 fresh and blooming she is ! " 
 
 " I had not noticed it ; yes, it is true, but you are 
 longing to go to sleep." 
 
 " You are making fun of me, Timol6on. Come, 
 give me your advice frankly, a friend's counsel, as 
 they call it. Do you think I ought to wear a fancy 
 dress ? " 
 
 " Why, of course, that is indispensable." 
 
 "Ah! but really, seriously, is it indispensable? 
 The thought occupies my mind a great deal. I nev- 
 er wore a disguise." 
 
 " I shall disguise myself entirely. One must be 
 like the rest of the world." 
 
 " Shall I be very ridiculous ? If it really must be, 
 I will do it. I have thought of nothing else for the 
 last three days. Oh ! I should very much prefer not 
 to you understand, being a professor 
 
 " What you say is absurd. You are not obliged 
 to appear as a savage, put feathers on your head and 
 curtain rings in your nose, my little old man. Take 
 a historical costume, something dignified in a word, 
 a dress suitable for the master of the house. It is a 
 mere formality. I'm no more disposed to play the 
 part of a merry-andrew than you ; besides, we shall 
 have a gay circle, and eccentricities would be inad- 
 missible." 
 
 " Will there be a great many people ? Are not 
 the ladies afraid ? It is very perplexing you say a 
 historical costume." 
 
 "You know of course 'that every one nearly or 
 distantly connected with the arts will want to come 
 to this ball ; these are the unpleasant consequences 
 of fame." 
 
 " True. And you still think that, in spite of the
 
 B ABO LAIN. 133 
 
 number of guests, I must wear a costume ? Then I 
 must reflect upon it. I am so busy." 
 
 " Ah ! yes. How do your lessons progress ; are 
 you satisfied ? " 
 
 " Yes, yes, perfectly satisfied." 
 
 " Well, so much the better." 
 
 The great day arrived. A row of huge lamps was 
 smoking in the freshly-sanded courtyard, and in the 
 drawing-room a squad of footmen dressed as mediae- 
 val mendicants were lighting the candles and arrang- 
 ing the benches ; while the orchestra were taking their 
 places, and the ladies were under the hands of the 
 hairdressers and costumers. I shut myself up in the 
 fruit-room, double-locked the door, and put on a pair 
 of black silk knee-breeches, somewhat too long for 
 me. I was pale, agitated, sad enough to weep, and 
 yet I could not have explained why. When I had 
 adjusted the knee-breeches tolerably well, I turned 
 towards my little bed on which were spread a black 
 doublet, a short black cloak, gloves of the same 
 color, and a chestnut wig with long hanging curls. I 
 took the candle and gazed at these things with a sort 
 of despair. " Why did I choose the costume of 
 Charles the First ? " said I to myself. " I was wrong : 
 I should have been more at my ease and more con- 
 cealed under Richelieu's large cloak though to be 
 sure, the cloak is red, and red attracts attention. The 
 members of the Council of Ten also wore a cloak, it 
 seems to me, and a mask besides. A mask ! Why 
 didn't I think of that ? I should be concealed. The 
 executioner also wore a mask that would have 
 been repulsive, but I should have been sheltered." 
 
 While saying this, I thought of all the accidents 
 which might still prevent my being present at the ball. 
 Who knows ? I might slip on the floor, break a leg, 
 or merely get a sprain. Yes, but how much trouble 
 that would cause the servants, who were already so 
 busy. I might swallow a bottle of brandy, a cruet of
 
 1 34 BABOLAIN. 
 
 vinegar, some drug I drove away all these foolish 
 thoughts, which were not proper for an honest man, 
 and arranged the wig over a brow damp with perspi- 
 ration. 
 
 This royal costume was not at all appropriate for 
 me. Yet I had explained my delicate position to M. 
 Babin, and even requested permission to speak with 
 him in private for that express purpose. 
 
 " I am absolutely obliged," I said to him, "to at- 
 tend a fancy ball next Friday, and although I never 
 
 " Madame Esther Paline de Martignac's ? Yes, 
 Monsieur ; it will be a very magnificent entertain- 
 ment ; we have made several costumes for it ; pray sit 
 down." 
 
 I started as I heard my wife called by her maiden 
 name, which of course she signed to her paintings, 
 and was on the point of saying to M. Babin : " Ex- 
 cuse me, I am that lady's husband, and my name is 
 Babolain, formerly a pupil in the normal school, now 
 titulary professor of mathematics in the college of 
 Saint Louis." I had been on the point of saying 
 this, but I did not dare. " My tastes and my career, 
 Monsieur, I will even say my social position, would 
 not lead me to disguise myself; but as I have had the 
 honor of telling you, I am absolutely compelled 
 to do so, therefore I come to you in all frankness 
 to ask you what costume is best most suitable, I 
 mean ? " 
 
 "There can be no possible hesitation: in your 
 case, which often happens 
 
 " Ah ! indeed ; does it often happen that people 
 are obliged to wear a fancy dress against their will? 
 I pity them." 
 
 " It happens constantly, and then there is nothing 
 to propose but the costume of Charles the First. It 
 is dignified, historical ; we have recommended it a 
 hundred times to magistrates, physicians, lawyers 
 and we have never had any complaint of it."
 
 B ABO LAIN. 135 
 
 " Then I will decide upon the dress, since you as- 
 sure me I am not a lawyer." 
 
 " Allow me to take the measure." 
 
 " Nor a doctor it will be plain, will it not, and as 
 dark as possible. I should not wish to be conspic- 
 uous." 
 
 I went away somewhat cheered by a few kind 
 words from Monsieur Babin, and it was thus that I 
 found myself, not from any excess of pride, but by 
 the force of circumstances, dressed as a king of Eng- 
 land. Moreover, I must say that with the exception 
 of the knee-breeches, which were too long, all the 
 garments were very well made. 
 
 When I was ready, had put on my orders, and 
 gummed on the mustache and the patch that com- 
 pleted the costume, I looked at myself in the little 
 glass with mingled terror and compassion. " How I 
 must love you, my Esther, to get myself into such a 
 plight!" 
 
 The idea also occurred to me that I ought to have 
 shaved off my whiskers, which, I don't exactly know 
 why, hurt my feelings. 
 
 Meantime, for at least ten minutes, I blew my nose, 
 coughed, put on and pulled off my fringed gloves, 
 murmuring : "I am ready have I forgotten any- 
 thing ? No, I am quite ready ; " and upon a thousand 
 pretexts I deferred the moment when it would be nec- 
 essary for me to leave the secluded fruit -room and 
 brave the glare of the candles. At last the rolling 
 of carriages echoed from below it must be done : 
 I rushed out, and without looking around me entered 
 the large drawing-room blazing with light as a poor 
 actor pursued by hisses and rotten apples might have 
 done. My great cane annoyed me, as well as the 
 hair of my mustache, which tickled my nose. 
 
 " At first I did not see my mother-in-law, who, wav- 
 ing her fan, was giving the mendicants their last orders. 
 She was dazzling, powdered, elaborately dressed, decked
 
 1 36 BABOLAIN. 
 
 with plumes, and so completely at home in her cos- 
 tume of a marquise of the days of Louis XV., that I 
 was bewildered. 
 
 " Good gracious, my dear friend," she cried, ill con- 
 cealing a burst of laughter, " what a queer idea it was 
 to muffle yourself up in that dress ? " 
 
 " I am very ridiculous, am I not ? " 
 
 " Why no, I didn't say that : it is just the first 
 moment. You know one must get accustomed to it. 
 Take care of your cane. Why, it is a regular paschal 
 candle. Ha ! ha ! ha ! " 
 
 Madame Paline was interrupted by the entrance 
 of guests, who succeeded each other in constant suc- 
 cession. I greeted the first with great energy, but 
 soon perceived that all were total strangers to me, 
 while I was equally unknown to them ; and therefore 
 it was useless to longer undergo a torture no one 
 could appreciate. 
 
 I had been concealed in an out-of-the-way corner 
 for some minutes, when a murmur of surprise and 
 admiration ran through the crowd. I moved forward 
 and saw Esther, my own wife, who was making her 
 triumphal entry. I almost fell backward ; never in 
 the most fevered visions of my youth had a creature 
 so strangely beautiful appeared before me. But 
 was it really Esther who stood yonder in the guise of 
 that great Venetian lady, with the golden hair, milk 
 white skin, and indefinable look, at once gentle and 
 terrible ? By what magical art had she thus trans- 
 formed herself? A shower of pearls and precious 
 stones was scattered over her hair and covered the 
 rich brocade skirt which, raised I gasped for 
 breath as I looked at all this raised on the hips, re- 
 vealed scarlet breeches ; and while the waves of vel- 
 vet and flowered damask swept behind her like a sort 
 of royal mantle, her neck, her shoulders, her swelling 
 bosom, her exquisite arms destitute of any orna- 
 ment, free from all constraint, were displayed with a
 
 B ABO LAIN. 137 
 
 confidence the malevolent might have taken for bold- 
 ness ; but I knew very well that this excessive lack 
 of modesty was only the innocence of genius. 
 
 All heads bent instinctively, and she slowly ad- 
 vanced showing her beauty without the least embar- 
 rassment, and smiling at the eager, curious glances 
 which seemed like ardent caresses. 
 
 I too approached with outstretched neck, parched 
 throat, and trembling limbs, supporting myself on my 
 long royal staff, and murmuring in my agony : " Yes, 
 I recognize her ; it is she, it is my wife. Oh ! God, 
 how beautiful she is ! too beautiful ! " Why could I 
 not turn them out, kill, murder this crowd of strang- 
 ers, clasp her in my arms, bear her away with me far 
 from the world into a desert and destiny ordained 
 that the moment I longed for her most fervently was 
 the very one in which a new gulf yawned between us. 
 I felt an emotion of mingled terror and rage. 
 
 She returned, waved two or three persons aside, 
 and made a sign to the musicians in the orchestra, 
 who were waiting for her order to begin. N At the mo 
 ment the instruments burst forth all together, we 
 found ourselves face to face. I could not control 
 myself and said to her in a low tone : 
 
 " Oh ! how beautiful you are, my darling. I love 
 you, I love you." 
 
 " Keep out of the way, my dear, keep out of the 
 way." 
 
 I could not be angry with her, for she was right ; 
 but the words pierced my heart like a nail. I saw a 
 nobleman of the time of Louis XL with an aquiline 
 nose, flashing eyes, and princely bearing, approach, 
 offer his hand, and lead her to a place in the quad- 
 rille. Then as the throng crowded around the 
 dancers, I was elbowed and pushed out of the way, 
 and saw nothing but the backs of these people who 
 were smothering each other to look at my wife. 
 
 I sat down in a window corner, for I was bewil-
 
 138 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 dered ; everything was swimming before my eyes. 
 Two Swiss girls, with their hair dressed in long braids 
 passed by, and one said to the other : 
 
 " Let us go away ; we ought not to have set foot 
 in this house." 
 
 In spite of my agitation, I thought I recognized 
 the daughter of the head of my college. I also saw 
 confusedly the ladies' coachman and footman com- 
 ing towards me. The sight restored my self-control ; 
 I wished to avoid the eyes of the servants, so I rose, 
 and gliding through the midst of the crowd, not with- 
 out difficulty, reached, at the end of the suite of 
 apartments, a small, dimly-lighted room no one had 
 yet entered. I put my cane in a corner, sank down 
 upon a sofa, and gave free course to the tears that 
 were Stirling me. 
 
 I had perhaps been there a long time when I 
 heard the sound of footsteps behind me; I raised my 
 head, and in the opposite mirror saw a Charles the 
 First, also armed with a large cane and wearing silver 
 fringed gloves. He seemed overwhelmed with sor- 
 row, and I should have taken him for my own image, 
 if he had not been much taller than I, and much more 
 robust in every way. We greeted each other with a 
 wan smile, and Timol6on for it was he, sat down be- 
 side me pressing my hand affectionately. 
 
 " Have you seen my wife, have you seen her ? " I 
 said with an emotion I could not control. 
 
 " I noticed her, yes, I noticed her ?" Strange, his 
 voice trembled almost as much as mine. " She is 
 having an immense success. There were so many 
 people around her that I could not pay my compli- 
 ments to her. It is a magnificent ball ! " 
 
 We remained a few moments without uttering a 
 word, both gazing at the figures upon the carpet. 
 
 " You know all those people yonder ? " continued 
 Timol<ion with an expression of anger very unusual 
 to him.
 
 BABOLAIN. 1 39 
 
 " Not ten persons, my friend, and you ? " 
 
 " No more. But what the deuce ? you are at 
 home, why aren't you in the drawing-room ? It is in- 
 credible, and extremely indecorous. Zounds, you 
 owe it to yourself to do the honors, to see what is 
 going on in your house it is different with me : I 
 came here to sit because I have a terrible headache. 
 And then your wife herself received me in a very dis- 
 tant manner." 
 
 " You must not be angry with her, you know she 
 has a great regard for you ; but at such a time She 
 is lovely,isn't she? " 
 
 " Yes, yes, oh ! yes." 
 
 " Perhaps you are like me, you think her too 
 beautiful; it isn't her fault; but after all, she is too 
 beautiful. If you had seen her when she came in ! 
 It scorched one's eyes, my dear Timoleon. Every- 
 body was agitated, I saw that well, what I experience 
 is a selfish feeling, I know, but I can't help it ; all this 
 causes me terrible suffering; I should like you can't 
 understand what I feel I should like to break every- 
 thing here." 
 
 " Calm yourself, my good little old man ; the 
 master of the house ought not to get into such states. 
 Your eyes are red, you are as white as a pocket-hand- 
 kerchief, and you have lost one side of your mus- 
 tache." 
 
 "What difference does it make ? I care for noth- 
 ing) you see, nothing but her. I know very well I 
 have none of the qualities necessary to please her, 
 but I love her, is it my fault, I love her madly. She 
 might have chosen a more unobtrusive costume " 
 
 " She ought to have done so, Babolain ; upon my 
 honor she ought, out of respect for herself and con- 
 sideration for you ; for after all, she bears your name, 
 which is an honorable one. There is no getting 
 over that, she is married." 
 
 " We must not be too severe. I am sure she did
 
 I4O B ABO LAIN. 
 
 not intend to annoy me. She has the imagination of 
 a great artist, of course ; she rushes on without reflec- 
 tion towards what seems beautiful the illusion, the 
 enthusiasm of the vision but at heart she is the 
 purest of women; you do not doubt it at least, my 
 good Timoleon, you do not doubt it." 
 
 " Pick up your mustache, there it is, over by that 
 foot-stool you enrage me, you really enrage me by 
 your absurd mania for approving of everything. No 
 indeed, it isn't enough to be honest at heart, appear- 
 ances must also be preserved. To how many evil 
 suppositions, injurious interpretations, may not your 
 wife's insane conduct have given rise ? It is the whim 
 of a spoiled child, an artist's fancy is that what you 
 are going to say ? " 
 
 " Exactly, Timol6on, that is what I wished you to 
 observe." 
 
 " Well, I allow the wildest caprices and follies, but 
 on condition that people shall bear these consequen- 
 ces alone. Husband and wife are mutually respon- 
 sible for each other, they are one before God and 
 man. Are marriage bonds a mere jest ? Oh ! Hea- 
 vens ! " 
 
 " Calm yourself, I beg of you ; your friendship for 
 me makes you exaggerate matters enormously." 
 
 " If the sacred respect for family ties is not enough 
 to check the vagaries of the imagination, where 
 will they stop ? " 
 
 " Yes, yes, that is what I was thinking; but don't 
 let us allow ourselves to get into a passion, and let 
 us try to analyze all this. When a woman is more 
 beautiful than others " 
 
 " She is compelled to use greater care to keep at 
 a distance " 
 
 " The impertinent scoundrels who I mean what 
 I say who contaminate her with their gaze." 
 
 " Certainly. She ought to force them to show her 
 the respect of which she is worthy."
 
 BABOLAIN. 14! 
 
 " For after all, Timol6on, there are costumes and 
 costumes it is the I don't know whether you have 
 noticed, it is the waist particularly that " 
 
 " That has excited your indignation. Oh ! my 
 poor little old man, how fully I understand what you 
 must have suffered." 
 
 " I know perfectly well how all this happened : 
 she could not resist the pleasure of showing her beau- 
 tiful arm a little, and then by degrees, without dream- 
 ing of any harm perhaps she did not think people 
 would notice her so much." 
 
 " You are absurd. Did she put on that wig with 
 the golden shades, and those pearls, by accident? 
 Did she paint her face by accident ? " 
 
 " Are you sure she has painted her face ? Yet 
 she is beautiful enough without that. Oh ! God, why, 
 she is insane ! And that skirt raised on the hips. 
 Did you notice it, Timol6on ? " 
 
 " Yes. Is it accident again that raised that skirt ? 
 Listen to me, Babolain, believe your old friend, for 
 our acquaintance is not a thing of yesterday." 
 
 " No, indeed ;" said I warmly, pressing his hands, 
 " it is not a thing of yesterday, but not until to-day 
 did I know all the goodness, affection, devotion in 
 your heart. You are my friend, my only friend." 
 
 " We will talk of that another time. Now be a 
 man, go back into the drawing-rooms ; your place is 
 there, and not here. Zounds ! the master of the house 
 must not hide himself, and at certain times the hus- 
 band should appear." 
 
 " I know it, Timole'on, I know it, but see how ri- 
 diculous I am in this dress." 
 
 " Well, what then ? If any one has the ill-luck to 
 smile when he sees you, spring at him and use violent 
 measures. When you have cuffed one, the others will 
 be submissive. If they are not, I'll take charge of 
 them. Come, Babolain, come with me." 
 
 The clock in the Carmelite convent had just
 
 142 BABOLAIN. 
 
 struck six in the morning, everybody had gone, and 
 the bluish light of dawn, entering the ball-room, was 
 struggling with the yellow rays of the expiring candles. 
 The flowers and plants, drooping and withering, hung 
 their heads mournfully ; several tables were still load- 
 ed with the remains of the supper. Esther, her hair 
 and dress in disorder, animated, trembling with ex- 
 citment, more beautiful than ever with her paint half 
 brushed off, was pacing up and down the room. I 
 was seated on the end of a bench following her with 
 my gaze. I was feverish, and my eyes were burning. 
 She paused, burst into a gay laugh, poured some 
 champagne into a glass, and raising her arm high into 
 the air, while the strings of pearls clashed against 
 each other, said in a ringing voice : 
 
 " Let us drink to Venice the beautiful. Will you, 
 husband mine ? " 
 
 I swallowed at a single draught the contents of the 
 cup she offered me. 
 
 "It was splendid,'* she continued, " confess it was 
 splendid, oh! king without enthusiasm." She went 
 towards the organ, played a few chords, sang two or 
 three notes at the top of her voice, and turning to- 
 wards me, said : " Are you pleased with your wife's 
 success, say, king of England, are you pleased ? I 
 am a queen too, queen of beauty, queen of painting; 
 I am a sovereign in the world of art. Behold my 
 transports ! behold my triumphs ! Ten years of an 
 obscure life for ten minutes of this dazzling reign ! 
 Did you see how they all looked at me ? It is 
 a fine thing, my dear husband, to attract all Paris 
 to one's house by the mere prestige of one's name 
 and genius ; to see all heads bow, to say to one's self 
 they are furious; Cirbec is foaming, Prudent de la 
 Sarthe and the others are ready to burst with rage, 
 and yet they bow all the same. Ha ! ha ! ha ! " 
 
 She was standing very near me, erect and motion- 
 less. I took the bare arm that hung by her side and
 
 BABOLAIN. 143 
 
 glued my lips to it; I must have burned her; she did 
 not seem to notice it but I, who for hours had been 
 longing passionately for this kiss, trembled from head 
 to foot, and it seemed as if a fire was suddenly kind- 
 led in my veins. I felt I was going to share the en- 
 thusiastic transports of the adorable wife who was at 
 last mine ; I was alone with her, the agony of the 
 evening vanished as if by enchantment with infinite 
 caution I passed my arm around her waist, and mur- 
 mured; 
 
 " You cannot know how I love you, my Esther 
 my darling, I have been very miserable all this even- 
 ing." 
 
 " You were afraid of seeing me eclipsed, weren't 
 you? There, you are a pretty good husband; rather 
 a funny king of England, but that makes no differ- 
 ence." 
 
 I kissed her again, as smiling and gazing into va- 
 cancy, she said in extremely voluble tones : 
 
 " Eclipse me ! oh yes ! You saw the Polish lady, 
 and the two Russians,and the little Countess de Ripan- 
 era, and all the others with their real diamonds well 
 come and compare notes, my love ! Mine are false, 
 but come and compare. I am a daughter of Venice, 
 my beauties, ha ! ha ! ha ! " 
 
 I felt wounded : was it possible that my wife, the 
 divine creature before whom every head bent, had 
 worn false diamonds like a mere actress, a common 
 adventuress ! Was it possible this great artist had 
 cause to blush ! My honesty revolted at the thought. 
 
 "Yes, my little king, you know very well they are 
 false. Have you ever bought me real ones ? I nev- 
 er asked you for any, I don't ask you now." 
 
 " And why shouldn't you have them ? These 
 Polish and Russian ladies are not your superiors, my 
 love I want my Esther to walk with head erect, I 
 want her to be the most beautiful, the richest bril- 
 liant, worthy of admiration ; I want no one to be able
 
 144 B ABO LAIN, 
 
 to look her in the face without casting down his 
 eyes." 
 
 I was losing my self-control entirely I was intoxi- 
 cated with love, and any words seemed fitting to ex- 
 press my transports. 
 
 " Who is so worthy to wear jewels as you ? " 
 
 " Don't talk so foolishly ; you don't know the val- 
 ue of these things ; the smallest diamond riviere is 
 worth twenty-five or thirty thousand francs." 
 
 " Well," I had no longer any knowledge of reality : 
 " If you want that sum I will give it to you, you know 
 all I have is yours." 
 
 She suddenly took my head between her hands, 
 and embracing me with a sort of transport, cried: 
 
 " Do you want me to adore you ? " 
 
 Then she resigned herself to my embrace. 
 
 XII. 
 
 Adore me ! It was a mere form of speech of 
 course, a sort of affectionate joke; but what a delight- 
 ful way of joking ! People do very wrong to despair 
 and complain : never had my wife shown me more 
 real kindness and affection than during the few days 
 that followed the ball. When I brought her the thirty 
 thousand francs in a portfolio lined with white moire 
 antique, she was on the point of refusing it. It was 
 too great an expense, she said, the folly must be giv- 
 en up I was obliged to urge her, and almost get an- 
 gry. She had an excellent heart and possessed true 
 solid qualities. 
 
 Towards the end of this exceptional week, on my 
 return from college, I saw Mine. Paline, dressed in 
 black and evidently under the influence of some vio- 
 lent emotion. She was waiting for me. 
 
 " My dear friend," said she, " I have a great mis- 
 fortune to tell you ; be brave, it is a hard blow for
 
 BABOLAIN. 145 
 
 Esther particularly, poor child. Her Despair sus- 
 tained by Religious Feeling has just been refused ad- 
 mittance to the Exhibition, excluded, cast aside, yes, 
 cast aside." 
 
 " What, again ! Those two figures on a golden 
 background ? Oh ! " 
 
 The oh ! was uttered without indignation, for to 
 tell the truth, I felt a sort of relief. I had at first 
 feared a much greater misfortune. " It is incompre- 
 hensible: refused again ! and at the very time when 
 she is receiving the tribute of general admiration." 
 
 " Yes, it is an academical infamy. See to what 
 a degree of meanness jealousy can lead these im- 
 becile, stupid old men." After a short silence she 
 continued with dignified indifference : " I must also 
 tell you something of which you are probably ignor- 
 ant. Your wife has been in a delicate situation 
 about six months, I don't know whether " 
 
 The sentence was scarcely finished when, spring- 
 ing towards Madame Paline and clasping her in my 
 arms without the least caution, I covered her with 
 kisses. 
 
 " Esther about to become a mother," I cried ;" oh ! 
 that makes amends for everything. About to become 
 a mother ! My dear mother oh God ! " 
 
 " Why, son-in-law, you're losing your wits, and 
 you are stifling me, you are certainly crazy." 
 
 " What happiness ! My darling, my Esther ! Do 
 you know whether it is a boy or a girl ? " 
 
 And, almost in spite of myself, I began to em- 
 brace my mother-in-law again, until, red with anger, 
 she was obliged to beg me to go away. 
 
 Had I been wrong in believing in the future, in 
 the joys and intimate relations of family life ? I had 
 certainly gone through some sorrowful scenes in the 
 past, but what delight was in store for me. 
 
 " Where is Madame ? " I said to the lady's maid 
 with the tone of a major, and on being informed that 
 10
 
 146 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 Madame was in the studio, hastily entered. Esther 
 was lying upon the sofa weeping, with her face hid- 
 den in her hands. I ran to her, and taking her in 
 my arms without thinking I might displease her, 
 cried : 
 
 " Is it true, my Esther, tell me, is it true ? " 
 
 " Yes it is the truth, the wretches, the cowards ! " 
 Her little hands were clenched and her great eyes 
 flashed with an expression of bitter hatred. "They 
 won't undertake the struggle in open daylight, the 
 honest struggle in which they know very well they 
 will be conquered. Cirbec, who licks their feet, has 
 helped to deal the blow. Cirbec, a mannerist, a flash 
 in the pan, a coward ! Ah ! they don't fear the rude 
 scrawlers, the brawlers of the palette. You want bal- 
 derdash, gentlemen, but no ! I will not yield. You 
 shall have war, since such is your good pleasure, and 
 a terrible war. When people try to crush me, I will 
 defend myself; I will make an outcry. 1 ' 
 
 She said all this so rapidly that it was impossible 
 for me to put in a word. 
 
 " Of course," said I as calmly as possible, " of 
 course this is provoking, my darling; but you won't 
 die of it if the devil is in it; and these gentlemen " 
 
 " The scoundrels ! " 
 
 "That's what I mean these scoundrels will not 
 deprive you of your genius." Then, unable to help 
 smiling, for my heart was full of sunshine, I added : 
 " What your mother told me you know ? is it true ?" 
 
 " What ? What did mamma tell you ? " 
 
 " That you would soon be a mother." 
 
 She turned her head away, the corners of her 
 mouth drooped, the pink nostrils of her little nose 
 dilated. 
 
 " Well yes, and what of it ? Ah ! you set my 
 teeth on edge, you drive me wild. Go away, I hate 
 you. Go away, you'll give me a nervous attack." She 
 tossed violently on the sofa.
 
 BABOLAIN. 147 
 
 "Pray keep quiet, you do not know that such 
 movements are very dangerous." 
 
 Upon ordinary occasions I should never have 
 spoken to her with so much authority and abruptness ; 
 but at this moment I had extraordinary courage. 
 
 " I shall be calm when you are gone," she mur- 
 mured. 
 
 " Then I'll go at once. The least imprudence 
 may entail terrible consequences." 
 
 Nothing could divert my thoughts from the new 
 feeling that had taken possession of me. One would 
 have said that only now had I found my real voca- 
 tion. The pivot of my life was changed. The idea 
 of this child, whose coming colored the future with 
 unforeseen tints, pursued me everywhere. I talked 
 about it to everyone. I could not bridle my tongue, 
 and gradually accustomed myself to refer all my 
 thoughts and actions to this single object. 
 
 If it is a boy, I thought, he will undoubtedly 
 inherit from me the critical judgment and gift of an- 
 alysis which are my only peculiar qualities. His 
 mother will transmit to him that power of idealiza- 
 tion, that artistic penetration,which elevates the char- 
 acter, enables one'to generalize, to separate the prin- 
 ciple and law from amid the chaos of things seen in 
 detail. Moreover, he will have Esther's beauty, her 
 admirable ease of manner. These are. very great ad- 
 vantages in life. Now, gifted in this way, a scientific 
 career will naturally offer itself to him : he will enter 
 the university, but with great ease ; his mother's cel- 
 ebrity will procure interest for him. Then by a stroke 
 of genius he will spring into the realm of pure sci- 
 ence : a discovery, a book, will place his talent be- 
 yond question. He will execute the great task of 
 which I have dreamed ; I will give him my advice if 
 he asks for it, which is by no means certain, for of 
 course he must consider me a dunce. Ah! I won't 
 be angry with you, my dear boy, what does it matter 1
 
 148 BABOLAIN. 
 
 I shall enjoy your triumphs, I shall be your father, 
 that title cannot be taken away from me. Some fine 
 learned name, which would look well in print, must 
 be found for him. But suppose it was a daughter. 
 
 This thought troubled me greatly. Not that I 
 was less disposed to love her than her brother, but 
 she, like her mother, would need surroundings worthy 
 of her, rich luxurious surroundings, and afterwards a 
 large dowry. Why had I not understood that it was 
 my duty to transmit my uncle Babolain's fortune, of 
 which I was only the trustee, intact to my daughter ? 
 I had committed more than an error, a positive 
 crime. I ought to have checked the ladies in their 
 extravagance, they would have understood all this, 
 would have commended me, thanked me afterwards. 
 
 From this time a passion for economy took pos- 
 session of me. I bought a large account -book, and 
 began to calculate ; but at the same time that I as- 
 certained the enormous breach that had been made 
 in my fortune, I perceived it was impossible for me 
 to lessen my personal expenses. My daughter's fate 
 was therefore entirely in the hands of the ladies ; 
 how was I to impose upon them another style of liv- 
 ing ? I felt that I was mean-spirited. Especially at 
 this time, when they were greatly agitated in the 
 midst of a violent conflict, how could I speak to them 
 of the thousand petty details, the thousand necessary 
 reforms prudence and economy required ! It was 
 with difficulty that I could say a word to my wife. 
 The young fiery Tambergeac, art critic for La Ferme 
 Modele, now spent whole days in the Rue Vaugirard. 
 Thanks to his merciless pen, a most violent article 
 had been issued against the Institute; my wife's name 
 had been made prominent; the outrage of which she 
 had been the victim had served as a text for the ar- 
 raignment of these "gentlemen of the Pont des Arts." 
 People met at Esther's house at appointed 
 hours, disputed eagerly together, and made plans for
 
 BABOLAIN. 149 
 
 the campaign, for the question had gradually assumed 
 large proportions. The matter was no longer con- 
 fined to mere conversations between a few discon- 
 tented people, but had increased to eager discussions 
 in which the future of French art was directly con- 
 cerned, and whose avowed object was the downfall 
 of the Institute. This was severe, but apparently 
 just. Several bearded painters, warm partisans of a 
 radical revolution in the world of art, had been in- 
 troduced by the indefatigable Tambergeac, who, pet- 
 ted and flattered, had his plate at the table, and a 
 cushion under his feet. Was it a measure in behalf 
 of neatness, or a proof of the great esteem in which 
 he was held ? 
 
 In the centre of the largest drawing-room was an 
 immense table covered with papers and pens, wafers 
 enamelled the carpet, and the furniture was loaded 
 with newspapers. It was evident that the ladies were 
 at the head of a formidable party which would stick 
 at nothing. Esther bought a bell with an ivory han- 
 dle, and tried to draw up a memorial which that con- 
 founded Tambergeac was to sign. Every evening 
 when, after my day's work was done, I found myself 
 in this club, surrounded by eager, excited people 
 shouting themselves hoarse;! fancied myself under the 
 influence of some nightmare. I approached my wife 
 and said softly : 
 
 "You are heating your blood, my love; you are 
 scorching your poor blood. In your situation be- 
 sides, my darling, you should be attending to the 
 little one's wardrobe." 
 
 " What, do you advise the soldier to abandon his 
 post, to desert in the presence of the enemy ? " 
 
 " No, no, but you will soon be ill, and " 
 
 " Are not we, I and my friends, the defenders, the 
 true soldiers of the holiest cause ? Is it not insulting 
 Divinity itself to deny high art, or oppose its free de- 
 velopment ? Is it necessary to give you proofs, to
 
 1 50 BABOLAIN. 
 
 quote texts ? In the moral life of a nation, every- 
 thing is mutually dependent, is linked together. 
 What is, I ask you, this tumult which shakes the 
 throne ? " 
 
 "You have undertaken a mission full of nobility 
 and grandeur, I am sure, though I have never studied 
 these questions." 
 
 " Then hush ! Our conflict has for its object the 
 triumph of the soul over matter, and if it was possi- 
 ble for you, who have no faith, to understand the fatal 
 consequences of religious indifference " 
 
 " Yes, I know, but you are heating your blood. 
 Children have been born with the germs of disease 
 because the mother heated her blood. And then 
 you see," added I timidly, " perhaps it is not God's 
 will that the Institute skould be reduced to powder." 
 
 " Do you not know that your jest is sacrilege ? " 
 
 " In this respect," said Mme. Paline, " I am en- 
 tirely of your opinion, my child. . Your husband's 
 words are indecorous in the last degree ; but on the 
 other hand, I think you and your friends, as you 
 doubtless ironically call them, are embarking upon 
 a democratic career which I confess is repulsive to 
 my instincts. Besides, all these people who come 
 here are indisputably slovenly." 
 
 Esther took too much pleasure in launching thun- 
 derbolts at the wretched Academy under Tamber- 
 geac's name to calm down immediately. Thanks 
 to my wife's more and more violent attacks, the 
 Ferme Modele attracted so much attention that its 
 fiery critic came to the house one night with a band- 
 age around his head, a compress over his eye, and 
 one hand in his vest. The night before he had re- 
 ceived two severe blows and several strokes from a 
 cane from a son of a member of the Academy, who 
 had been especially insulted by Esther. 
 
 " My dear friend," cried my wife, taking the 
 wounded man's hand, '' you have a noble heart ; you
 
 BABOLAIN. I 5 I 
 
 are mv only friend, and I will avenge you : hand me a 
 pen."' 
 
 In these words the generosity of her enthusiastic 
 nature was depicted in all its completeness. The 
 young critic expressed his gratitude to the best of his 
 ability, but gave her to understand that he was power- 
 less to struggle against the determination of his edi- 
 tor to give up all literary and artistic polemics. The 
 meeting at Poissy was about to commence, and the 
 FermeModele must devote itself entirely to the special 
 study of cattle raising. It was certainly a great dis- 
 appointment, but I was delighted. 
 
 " Wouldn't this be the right time to attend to the 
 clothes ? " I ventured to say, rubbing my hands. 
 
 I did wrong to show my satisfaction so openly. 
 
 Two or three days after, about eight o'clock in the 
 evening, my dear good wife gave birth to a beautiful 
 little girl. It is impossible to describe how charming 
 the child was ! I wept, I laughed, I hugged every- 
 body I even shook hands with the coachman, ad- 
 dressing him as my friend. Suddenly it was discov- 
 ered that my daughter was entirely destitute of cloth- 
 ing, and, for the time being, they wrapped her in 
 napkins. The following morning I entered the 
 ladies' carriage and drove to a linen draper's, whom 
 I was obliged to rouse. On the way I could not help 
 singing, sat first on one side and then on the other, and 
 it seemed as if my delight could not escape the notice 
 of any one. The passers-by must be saying to them- 
 selves : " Look, there's Monsieur Babolain, professor 
 of mathematics, whose wife has just presented him 
 with a little daughter." 
 
 " Mademoiselle," said I to the shop-woman, " pray 
 make haste ; my little girl has absolutely nothing to 
 wear. Thank you, Mademoiselle ; I haven't time to 
 sit down. We were taken by surprise." 
 
 M Such things sometimes happen." 
 
 " Indeed ! Please give me the best of everything.
 
 152 BABOLAIN. 
 
 There was nothing to make us suppose they would 
 be needed so soon. Did I tell you it was a girl ? Oh ! 
 give me whatever you choose." 
 
 One thing after another was piled into the car- 
 riage, which was son full : embroidered bands, cash- 
 mere shirts, wonderful leading strings, hats with 
 feathers, etc. While returning to the Rue Vaugirard 
 I tossed over these pretty things, smoothing the 
 hats and kissing the caps, in which I fancied I saw my 
 little girl. 
 
 " It is impossible to make a more absurd selec- 
 tion," said my mother-in-law at once. I could not 
 help laughing, I was so happy. " Are you not afraid," 
 continued Mme. Paline, turning to the doctor, "are 
 you not afraid my son-in-law is attacked by some bad 
 fever ? He bewilders me." 
 
 " We'll see about that by and by," he answered 
 laughing. "Just now the most pressing necessity is 
 to have a nurse, and I am going to choose one." 
 
 " I'll go too," said I. " Two are not too many to 
 make such a selection, and besides, I am something 
 of a physiognomist." 
 
 " Very well, come. Is your carriage at the door ? 
 And besides, between ourselves, the patient needs 
 rest." 
 
 I perceived that he was not sorry to take me 
 away ; in the outburst of my joy I must have made 
 an intolerable bustle ever since the night before. 
 When we were alone in the carriage I said : 
 
 " Doctor, I want to thank you for what you have 
 done for me. You are an excellent man, my friend, 
 my dear friend I beg your pardon, but I can't help 
 calling you my friend. You must excuse me ; I am 
 really intoxicated with joy." 
 
 " That is perfectly natural. It is unusual to have 
 so little cause for anxiety on the birth of a first 
 child." 
 
 "That b true; it is my Esther's first child; I
 
 B ABO LAIN. 153 
 
 didn't think of that. My head is turned inside out. 
 Let me shake hands with you, doctor. I am more 
 agitated than any one else would be, because I have 
 more reason to rejoice that an indissoluble sacred 
 bond has come to sanction our ujiion : you are not 
 ignorant that my wife is a great artist : she has re- 
 fined tastes, noble aspirations. The mother and 
 daughter are both, I may be permitted to say, most 
 admirable characters. As for me, I am thoroughly 
 commonplace ; I am talking to you with brotherly 
 frankness, doctor. Ha ! ha ! ha ! When the mind 
 has long been habituated to exact analysis, it is diffi- 
 cult for it to enter the kingdom of imagination, so 
 that in short, the first days of our married life 
 were, I must confess, somewhat painful I had 
 been as poor as Job all my youth And stay, 
 this is a very natural, very curious thing : now that 
 another horizon is open before me, now that the 
 future smiles upon me, I feel an indefinable joy in re- 
 calling the sorrows the little sorrows, of course, of 
 the" 
 
 Suddenly I let down the front window and pulled 
 the coachman's coat. I had just seen my friend Tim- 
 ol6on, looking grave, pale, and careworn, and no 
 longer walking with his usual haughty air. 
 
 " Do you know the news, my dear old friend ? " 
 I said as he approached. 
 
 " Yes, Babolain, yes, I know it. Heaven has 
 blessed your union by sending this little angel. I will 
 pray for you all ; I will try to pray." 
 
 "What! you don't rejoice ? What is the matter, 
 my dear Timol6on, what is the matter ? Come and 
 choose a nurse with us." 
 
 " No, no, I'm in a hurry ; good bye." And he 
 went away. 
 
 " Doctor, I'm very much afraid my friend may be 
 seriously ill ; I've already noticed that he has been 
 very much changed for some time I was telling you
 
 1 54 BABOLAIN. 
 
 that I was as poor as Job when my uncle, who lived 
 in Beaugency 
 
 " Here we are at the Place de 1'Estrapade : let us 
 get out, the office is here. It is settled that you are 
 one of my colleagues." 
 
 We entered a small room with a low ceiling, per- 
 vaded with a very strange heavy odor. A clock made 
 of shell work stood upon the mantel-piece, and on 
 the wall hung two framed engravings; Napoleon at 
 Saint Helena, and Joan of Arc in a cuirass. 
 
 A fat lady in a plaid dress, whom one would have 
 taken for some old corporal of dragoons retired on 
 half pay on account of too great obesity, appeared, 
 rang a bell, and eight or ten nurses carrying their 
 babies entered and stood ranged in a semicircle. 
 The examination was conscientious. The milk gushed 
 forth under the doctor's hands in long white streams 
 that at first nearly reached me. 
 
 One of the nurses having been selected, the poor 
 woman urgently requested that her trunk should be 
 sent to her new master's address, gave her child a 
 last embrace, and entered the carriage, where we 
 found ourselves alone together, the doctor having 
 been compelled to leave us and continue his rounds. 
 
 " Take the back seat, my good nurse," said I, 
 " and beware of the draughts. You are not cold ? 
 Wait, I'll raise the window ; it's always safer And 
 now let us make haste." 
 
 It seemed as if my daughter must find the time 
 very long and begin to be impatient. When the 
 nurse was seated in the back of the carriage she 
 raised her apron, felt for her pocket, and having- 
 drawn out a huge blue and yellow plaid handker- 
 chief, wiped her eyes with the extreme edge of one 
 corner without unfolding it, and uttered a heavy 
 sigh. 
 
 " Why do you cry ? " I said sympathizingly. " Were 
 you sorry to come with me."
 
 BABOLAIN. 155 
 
 " The child was very fond of me ; it makes me 
 feel bad all the same." 
 
 I was very much touched by the simple words. 
 
 How had egotism been able to blind me so far as 
 to make me forget that this poor woman was a moth- 
 er, and I had just torn her child from her ! Why 
 should the peasant's son be sacrificed to the profes- 
 sor's daughter ? Is it possible that the world contains 
 creatures poor-spirited enough to be able to love 
 their children only when at a distance from them ! 
 And I am making myself an accomplice of this social 
 monstrosity! The nurse gained such grand,moral 
 proportions in my eyes that I said, with a shade of 
 respectful embarrassment : - 
 
 u Madame, pray believe that I understand what 
 you must suffer, and I assure you shall always feel 
 the truest, the most sincere gratitude for the service 
 you are about to do me." 
 
 She removed her handkerchief and looked me 
 steadily in the face. 
 
 " Ah ! I know very well, my good friend," I con- 
 tinued, " that such sacrifices cannot be repaid with 
 money." She moved restlessly to and fro on the 
 cushions of the carriage, and answered in a very en- 
 ergetic tone : 
 
 " Then I shall go back to the office. Why did 
 you say twenty crowns a month ? Before everybody, 
 too ! Twenty crowns with sugar and coffee I've 
 got witnesses. Tell your man to drive back to the 
 office." 
 
 " You misunderstand my " 
 
 " What are you talking about ? I don't like 
 double-faced people I've got witnesses." 
 
 " My meaning, my good friend, and your supposi- 
 tions hurt my feelings." 
 
 " When have I hurt your feelings ? When have 
 I done you any harm ? Come, I want to go back 
 to the office. When one has milk what did the
 
 1 56 BABOLAIN. 
 
 doctor call it ? ' Savory milk ' he said that's the 
 very first quality, and when a body has such milk 
 as that, there's not much trouble in getting one's 
 twenty crowns with sugar and coffee." 
 
 " But I'll give you twenty-five, my good friend. 
 You see you misunderstand me. And I promise you 
 as much more in presents. I shan't be ungrateful, I 
 assure you." 
 
 The worthy woman still gazed at me with increas- 
 ing astonishment. Then suddenly mollified, she mur- 
 mured in a low tone, in which a slight shade of dis- 
 trust still lingered : 
 
 " Then why did Monsieur use so many words ? " 
 
 She was right, but I had intended to act for the 
 best. 
 
 XIII. 
 
 I was the happiest of men : my little Valentine 
 this was my daughter's name had welcomed her 
 nurse Marianne with an excellent appetite, and 
 the good woman confessed that she was very com- 
 fortably settled. Mme. Paline was extremely kind 
 to me. As for my Esther, she recovered rapidly, and 
 I must say that she had never been more beautiful. 
 Enveloped in clouds of muslin and lace, she had al- 
 ready received a number of visits, and was inspired 
 with a most ardent affection for her daughter. She 
 had her brought to her from morning till night, cov- 
 ered her with knots of ribbon, and actually wanted 
 to curl the few hairs on the back of the little one's 
 head. 
 
 I wasted a few days in enjoying the pleasure of 
 looking at her, but the feeling of duty soon returned 
 and I resumed my heavy toil with ardor. It was 
 more necessary to earn money than ever. I ar- 
 ranged a sort of class which enabled me to give six or
 
 BABOLAIN. 157 
 
 eight lessons in a single hour. Moreover, having 
 heard that an editor, then very enterprising, intend- 
 ed to publish a sort of scientific dictionary, I offered 
 to perform a portion of this great work. What would 
 I not have done to make good the money losses I 
 had suffered, and gain a dowry for my little daughter ? 
 From time to time my pride awoke, and I said to 
 myself, ' I might have been a man of learning, entered 
 the Institute, earned honors, titles, left a noble work 
 to posterity ; and here I am reduced to trade in sci- 
 ence' I was foolish, for after all, is it not as honora- 
 ble to be a good father as a great scholar ? Was 
 not my little Valentine the most beautiful of all works ? 
 and what would my titles, my learning, matter to her 
 by and by ? Would she love me the more for them ? 
 Certainly not. 
 
 Meantime the labor spent upon the dictionary, to 
 which I devoted my evenings after the well-filled days 
 were over, and which I often prolonged far into the 
 night, fatigued me terribly. I had fits of dizziness 
 that greatly troubled me, and felt pains in my chest 
 which alarmed me. What would happen if illness 
 compelled me to rest ? Meantime, in the midst of 
 my toil, I committed the error of leaving the ladies 
 very much alone and neglecting myself. " You are 
 growing slovenly," said Madame Paline. And in- 
 deed she was right : my clothes were more worn than 
 was proper. I heedlessly came in without a cra- 
 vat, and forgot to shave. Without being aware of it, 
 absorbed as I was in my work, I gradually fell into 
 the habit of living away from my family. I break- 
 fasted in a modest little restaurant not two paces 
 from the college, that I might lose no time ; and my 
 classes frequently would not allow me to return to 
 dinner. The ladies on their side, overwhelmed by 
 the thousand occupations celebrity entails, were rare- 
 ly at home. 
 
 Matters were in this condition when, one Sunday
 
 158 BABOLAIM 
 
 after breakfast we happened to be all assembled in 
 the same room a little man with a hooked nose was 
 announced by the name of Isaac. He had, in fact, 
 all the external characteristics which distinguish an 
 Israelite. 
 
 " Madame," said he, casting an inquisitive glance 
 around the apartment, ' I'll go straight to the point, 
 as one ought to do in addressing an artist of your tal- 
 ent. I should be glad to enter into business rela- 
 tions with you, and have come to inquire what price 
 you ask for your last picture. Despair pursued 
 b y by 
 
 " Sustained by Religious Feeling." 
 
 "Yes, Madame, exactly. The painting possesses 
 very superior qualities, a pure elevated style. Please 
 tell me your price." 
 
 I was not surprised by this proposal, I was con- 
 vinced that sooner or later fortune and fame would 
 reward Esther for her efforts ; but I was very glad, for 
 I was always thinking of Valentine's dowry. Mad- 
 ame Paline, seeing that my wife hesitated, answered : 
 
 " You are rather late, Monsieur ; my daughter 
 has already refused several offers for this picture 
 which has made quite a sensation, and I should be 
 the first to use my influence over her to prevent her 
 disposing of it for less than three thousand francs." 
 I was entirely ignorant that such offers had already 
 been made for Esther's painting. Monsieur Isaac 
 did not seem surprised. 
 
 " I don't think the amateur whose agent I am will 
 be deterred by that sum. You say " 
 
 " I say three thousand five hundred francs with- 
 out the frame," replied Mine. Paline with dignified 
 firmness. 
 
 " I misunderstood you" I had also misunderstood 
 " however, in concluding this matter, there is one 
 little condition to which my patron attached a cer- 
 tain degree of importance : M. le Comte cle Vaugirau
 
 BABOLAIN. 159 
 
 I have no special motive for concealing his name 
 would like to have Mme. Esther de Martignac ;; I 
 always felt a positive pang when I heard my wife 
 called by her artist's name " promise to reserve for 
 him, on conditions she will mention herself, the three 
 pictures most nearly completed." 
 
 " I will think of it," said my wife. 
 
 " But it would be much easier, my child, if the 
 Comte de Vaugirau would, visit your studio. You 
 have a number of very beautiful sketches, a number 
 of partially finished pictures." 
 
 The Jew highly approved of my mother-in-law's 
 suggestion, and everybody was satisfied. 
 
 This visit had considerable influence over the la- 
 dies' mode of life. From this day forth, I saw scat- 
 tered through the suite of apartments in every direc- 
 tion, canvasses signed in large characters and cover- 
 ed with sketches whose boldness was really remark- 
 able. How could any imagination be fruitful enough 
 for all these productions ? Once, in the courtyard, I 
 received a bow from M. le Comte, who was just get- 
 ting into his carriage which was loaded with my wife's 
 sketches. This passionate lover of pictures was tall, 
 wore long moustaches curled up at the ends, and his 
 whole bearing was distinguished by an air of aristo- 
 cratic elegance. The members of my family were 
 never weary of praising the generosity of his conduct. 
 I was even shown a wonderful box in which he had 
 given Esther the price of her last pictures. 
 
 Unfortunately, I became more and more absorb- 
 ed in my work ; but I saw clearly that my wife, sur- 
 rounded by homage and success, was giving herself up 
 rather too much to the happiness of making herself 
 admired. I could not reproach her ; after all, it was a 
 very natural weakness. She had won her reputation 
 at the sword's point, it would have been pitiful for 
 me to be surprised that she was a little proud of it. 
 
 One thing caused me deep sorrow : just in pro-
 
 160 BABOLAIN. 
 
 portion as, rising above prejudices, she accepted the 
 sometimes singular expression of a worship of which 
 she was worthy, the memory of the past seemed to be- 
 come unendurable to her. 
 
 She took very little notice of her daughter, and I 
 guessed from trifles that my presence irritated her 
 more than ever. One would have said that by ex- 
 cluding me from their life, into which however I had 
 neither time nor skill to enter, they wished to free 
 themselves from an intolerable yoke. 
 
 It happened that the room in which my wife work- 
 ed became too small, and I was told it was absolute- 
 ly necessary to hire a studio, somewhat expensive, it 
 is true, but very large and light, in the neighborhood 
 of the Quai. 
 
 I had the courage to interpose and speak of 
 economy. " Perhaps the great drawing-room might 
 do," I suggested. 
 
 " Why, don't you understand," replied Mme. Pa- 
 line very dryly, " don't you understand that all hard 
 labor is impossible in the neighborhood of a crying 
 child ? " 
 
 Yet my little Valentine seldom cried ; it was im- 
 possible to find a better or a prettier child of her 
 age. Still, my mother-in-law might be right. My 
 wife's incessant labor was different from mine, and 
 required complete freedom from interruption. She 
 loved Valentine in a different way, better than I did, 
 perhaps ; if she had not worshipped her, would she 
 have toiled with such ardor to secure her future ? 
 Did not her efforts replace the caresses she had no 
 time to give her ? Poor Esther! Can one have a 
 great intellect without also having a large heart ? My 
 dear wife tells me nothing, says nothing about her 
 business matters : she has the modesty of heroism. 
 
 " If I have spoken of economy," I added, " it is 
 because I am always thinking of our little girl." 
 
 " And of yourself too," replied my mother-in-law.
 
 B ABO LAIN. l6l 
 
 " But don't be afraid. When you married my daugh- 
 ter your instincts did not deceive you, it is an excel- 
 lent thing ; and if you were ruined, you may be sure 
 you won't be allowed to starve." 
 
 She said this with such a strange smile that I did 
 not exactly understand her. 
 
 " What do you mean ? " said I. 
 
 " I ? nothing ; I am joking. Good bye, I must 
 go out." 
 
 It was not until afterwards that these words and 
 many others recurred to my mind, and it became evi- 
 dent that my presence had made them suffer terribly 
 for a long time. Alas ! how could I have perceived 
 it ? They suddenly began to pay me most unusual 
 attentions. Seeing that I was suffering from weak 
 eyes and a pain in the chest caused by the excessive 
 amount of work I was compelled to accomplish, they 
 said a thousand kind words to me. One day, when 
 they were going out in the carriage to dine in the city, 
 I heard Esther say to the cook: "Remember that 
 your master does not like his meat well done, and see 
 that the dinner is good." These attentions, to which 
 I had never been accustomed, made my eyes fill with 
 tears. 
 
 Besides, I was more in love with my wife than 
 ever. When she went out I lay in wait to see her, 
 cautiously drawing the little curtains back from the 
 window to admire her at my ease. Her beauty had 
 increased wonderfully of late : I was awed by it ; 
 she now seemed to exceed all ordinary bounds : a 
 slight degree of embonpoint gave her whole figure a 
 fullness arid dignity whose charm was irresistible ; be- 
 sides she had suddenly acquired a new and won- 
 derful art of dressing. I did not know how to ex- 
 press the admiration all this inspired ; but she, an- 
 ticipating my remarks, kindly explained how sim- 
 ple and economical the toilettes I thought regal 
 really were. She had purchased such and such 
 ii
 
 1 62 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 lace for almost nothing, thanks to an exceptional op- 
 portunity ; and the jewels, the precious stones, the 
 cameos, in which she daily appeared, had been 
 bought under similar circumstances. In short, by all 
 the little confidences she bestowed upon me, I was 
 convinced that she was acting like a wise and pru- 
 dent economist. It was a great relief to me. 
 
 Months elapsed in this way, the ladies, notwith- 
 standing their worldly life, continuing to overwhelm 
 me with attentions and consideration that bewildered 
 me ; and I loving and admiring my Esther at a dis- 
 tance, while I resumed the life of laborious study 
 which had an indefinable charm for me. 
 
 One evening, about eight o'clock, when I came in 
 to go to work, I saw on the table such a huge pile of 
 pi oof sheets to correct, that a momentary feeling 
 of discouragement overwhelmed me ; and while 
 lighting my lamp, it occurred to me that this even- 
 ing the ladies were to be present at the first perform- 
 ance of a piece at the Opera-Comique. The pack- 
 age of proof sheets was really enormous ; 1 had 
 not set foot inside of a theatre for nearly a year. 
 The idea of surprising the ladies took possession of 
 me, and I hastily dressed. I must have been losing 
 a great deal of flesh lately, for my coat seemed to 
 hang around me. When I had finished tying my cra- 
 vat, I went to tell the nurse, kissed Valentine, who 
 was sound asleep, and went away humming a tune. 
 
 Unfortunately the hall was full, and it was only by 
 paying twice the usual price for a seat that I obtained 
 with great difficulty a little stool in the embrasure of 
 a doorway. It was in the midst of the interval be- 
 tween the acts ; there was great confusion in the room, 
 and at first, suffocated by the heat, and dazzled by 
 the lights, I could distinguish nothing. I noticed 
 however, that my two neighbors were smiling as they 
 looked through their opera glasses in the same direc- 
 tion. " She is really magnificent," said one. " It's
 
 BABOLAIN. 163 
 
 her assurance that I particularly admire," replied the 
 other, and they whispered together, laughing heartily. 
 
 I also glanced in the same direction and saw on 
 the lower floor, near the left hand passage, several 
 very fashionably attired gentlemen, who, with their 
 backs turned to the hall, were standing before the 
 corner box talking very gayly with the people within, 
 whom it was impossible to distinguish. 
 
 Besides, I cared very little about what was going 
 on there. I had come to the theatre to meet my wife 
 and her mother, who undoubtedly on a night when 
 mere stools cost such exorbitant sums, must have 
 taken very inferior seats. I carefully examined the 
 second tier of boxes, and then the third, but in vain ; 
 and was thinking of crossing the orchestra to inspect 
 the portion of the building hitherto concealed from 
 ray eyes, when I saw my friend Timol6on, hidden un- 
 der the shadow of the right hand gallery as I was under 
 the left. His arms were folded, his eyebrows drawn 
 into a frown, and he was gazing intently at the closely 
 surrounded box, which seemed to attract general at- 
 tention. 
 
 At that moment the bell of the theatre was heard, 
 and all returned to their seats ; the famous box 
 on the first floor was unmasked, and I recognized my 
 wife and my mother-in-law leaning back amid waves 
 of silk and lace, and beaming with smiles. A gentle- 
 man about forty years old, with a pair of mustaches 
 curled in military style, whom I thought I recognized 
 as having seen somewhere before, had remained 
 alone before the box. The signal was given, the or- 
 chestra began the prelude, Madame Paline made a 
 graceful gesture of invitation to the elegant gentle- 
 man, and the latter took a seat between the two la- 
 dies, who moved apart that they might not obstruct 
 his view of the stage. 
 
 The sight made me feel a violent heart-burning, 
 and my brow suddenly became damp with perspira-
 
 164 BABOLAIN. 
 
 tion. As I turned to take out my handkerchief I saw 
 Timol6on, who was also wiping his face, and evident- 
 ly very much agitated. Why was my friend hiding in 
 that dark corner why was he so troubled and rest- 
 less ? I was about to rush towards him to have an 
 explanation of the mystery, when the curtain rose 
 and the words : " Sit down, sit down," murmured on 
 all sides, forced me to be silent and motionless. 
 
 I wanted to listen to the piece, but it was impos- 
 sible for me to hear a note or understand a single 
 word. I was constantly watching Esther and her 
 mother. What was there peculiar about them ? It 
 seemed to me as if their manners, their gestures, and 
 even their toilettes were singular. Was I the sport 
 of a illusion, or was my wife really transformed ? How 
 does it happen that all these people surround her and 
 talk to her with such familiarity, while I Am I 
 not her husband And Timoldon, why is not he 
 near them ? I am crazy, I am absurd, I am acting 
 like a child. Instead of reasoning, I am wandering. 
 Could I have lost my faculty of analysis ? Let us 
 look at the matter coolly : what is there surprising 
 in the fact that a woman who is justly celebrated 
 should attract attention when she shows herself in 
 public ; that she should be surrounded by respectful 
 homage? Do I not know that for a long time the most 
 distinguished persons have considered it an honor to 
 be admitted to her studio, that she moves in a circle 
 of society entirely unknown to me, and that all this is 
 perfectly natural. But then why am I so agitated ? 
 
 The plaudits that from time to time echoed 
 around, suddenly roused me. I should have liked to 
 go to the box, but dared not. It seemed as if every- 
 body must know me and would say, pointing their 
 fingers at me : " That ugly little man with the pale 
 face, crooked back, white cravat like a justice of the 
 peace, red eyes and blue spectacles, is the husband 
 of the great Esther Paline, the magnificent woman
 
 B ABO LAIN. 165 
 
 yonder." " And why did you come here?" said I to 
 myself, "you proud, foolish fellow ? Why did you 
 come if you did not have the humility to remain in 
 the shade that is proper for you, exulting in a triumph 
 you cannot share because you have not earned it. 
 Were you not happy in your old coat, bending forward 
 under your lamp near your sleeping child, working 
 for her as well as you were able ? What madness has 
 impelled you to leave your proper sphere ? Yes, of 
 course. Esther is triumphant, radiant, admired 
 And yet she is my wife, and I love her," I added, 
 crushing my hat. The interval between the acts hav- 
 ing come, I hastily went up to the first floor and, paus- 
 ing, began to read the placard hanging on the wall in 
 a frame. " I ought to go," I said to myself, " I ought 
 to go ; " but I gradually approached the box in which 
 the aristocratic profile of the gentleman with the 
 mustache was dimly visible through the half open 
 door. After having vainly tried to button my gloves, 
 I gave two little raps. " Come in," said Esther, who 
 was laughing gayly. I entered ; the ladies turned, 
 and my wife, with a sudden blush, was it caused by 
 surprise or displeasure, could not restrain a low ex- 
 clamation. 
 
 " Oh ! " said she, fanning herself violently, " oh ! 
 it's you. Good-evening." 
 
 My mother-in-law, who was excessively flushed, 
 but majestic as usual, seemed indignant. The five or 
 six gentlemen who were again assembled around the 
 box were silent, raised their opera-glasses, and stared 
 me coolly in the face. My situation was horrible. I 
 felt that I was utterly ridiculous, smiled foolishly at 
 everybody, and made a number of little bows around 
 the circle. " Be dignified, natural, don't show the least 
 affectation," I murmured between my teeth. Then 
 bending towards Esther, I said to her : 
 
 " I thought I should please you by coming to bid you 
 good-evening, my dear. Does the play amuse you ? "
 
 166 BABOLAIN. 
 
 She did not answer, but leaned back in her arm- 
 chair,and said in a loud voice, with the air of a queen : 
 
 " Gentlemen, my husband." 
 
 A profound silence followed, and it seemed to me 
 that every one was smiling ; but before my agitation 
 gave me time to analyze the nature of the smile, the 
 gentleman with the mustache, bowing with extreme 
 courtesy, murmured : 
 
 " Madame de Martignac, do me the favor of in- 
 troducing me to Monsieur ; I believe this is the first 
 time 1 have had the honor of meeting him." 
 
 " My dear, le Comte de Vaugirau, who worships 
 painting," she said with great volubility. 
 
 "Monsieur le Comte, I am charmed " 
 
 " No more so than I, Monsieur, I assure you. Do 
 you still devote yourself to sculpture ? " 
 
 " You are mistaken, Monsieur le Comte, I have 
 never devoted myself to sculpture." 
 
 " Ah ! I beg pardon a thousand times. At one 
 of the last exhibitions I admired a very beautiful 
 bust, signed Martignac, and naturally supposed I 
 was mistaken." 
 
 " De Martignac is my wife's name. I love the 
 arts" 
 
 " That is a matter of course." 
 
 " Doubtless, but I have no talent for them." 
 
 " Ah 1 so much the worse. Madame de Martig- 
 nac. A thousand pardons, Mile, de Martignac, I 
 ought to say, or rather: Madame Madame " 
 
 " Madame Babolain, Monsieur le Comte." 
 
 " Ah ! yes, Monsieur Babolain. I'm delighted to 
 make your acquaintance. Have you any children, 
 Monsieur Babolain ? " 
 
 " Yes, Monsieur, I have a little daughter," I mur- 
 mured. And I felt such a violent pang in my heart 
 that I stopped short. There was something veiled 
 under the excessive politeness of this fine gentleman 
 which made me suffer terribly. Was it scorn pity ? I
 
 BABOLAIN. 167 
 
 could not tell ; I did not feel insulted, but I suffered. 
 By what right did he speak of my child at this mo- 
 ment ? 
 
 The interval between the acts being over, each of 
 the gentlemen bowed to me, and I found myself alone 
 in the box with Esther and Madame Paline. I did 
 not conceal it from myself ; the sole cause of the ex- 
 cessive civility of which I had just been the object 
 was the high esteem in which Esther was held. It 
 was to the husband of the great artist that all these 
 attentions had been shown, for personally I had been 
 as foolish and ridiculous as possible all the evening. 
 
 I was not sufficiently a man of the world, was not 
 sufficiently master of myself, to behave with this ease 
 of manner. I must certainly have annoyed the 
 ladies greatly by arriving in this way without being 
 expected, and even imagined that they would make 
 some remarks on the subject; but contrary to my 
 supposition, they thanked, me for coming in the most 
 charming terms. Yet my wife said in a low tone, in 
 a voice of tender reproach : " My dear, you have left 
 Valentine at home alone." 
 
 I did not know what td answer. She was right : 
 how many accidents might have happened during my 
 absence ! Would the servants know enough to come 
 after me, to call the doctor in time The orchestra 
 began to play, and I took refuge in the back of the 
 box, which was quite dark. From that time I was more 
 at my ease and tried to analyze my feelings as I had 
 been accustomed to do. I was ashamed of the part 
 I had played so badly, I was aware of having been a 
 pitiful creature : I ought to have done this, said that. 
 Now that I was no longer on the stage, I once more 
 regained my clearness of thought and saw plainly. 
 But while I gazed at my wife's admirable beauty, 
 I confusedly distinguished opera-glasses turned to- 
 wards her from the main hall, and thrilled from head 
 to foot with emotions of pride. "Yes, yes," I thought,
 
 1 68 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 "look at her all of you, admire her, enjoy her works, 
 be proud of winning one of her smiles, but I have 
 had her first tender caresses, I have understood her; 
 she has already loved me. I have a child who is a 
 pledge of our mutual affection, a child who will have 
 her genius, and whom we both fondly cherish. My 
 wife, yes, my wife." 
 
 While an actor was announcing the author's 
 name, I rushed into the gallery, ordered the cloaks 
 to be brought, and helped the ladies put them on ; I 
 tried to be as free from awkwardness as possible, 
 and Heaven be praised, got through my task without 
 accident. I offered Esther my arm, slipped a five- 
 franc piece into the box-keeper's hand, and thanked 
 her with a smile for her civilities. 
 
 Was it the result of chance, or was my wife's 
 presence the cause ? I do not know, but it seemed 
 to me as if the vestibule was crowded with people 
 waiting to see us pass. Besides being troubled at 
 the idea of going through this throng, my sight was 
 too poor to enable me to distinguish the faces clearly. 
 A sort of lane was formed ; it seemed to me that peo- 
 ple were bowing to us ; at all events, I also bowed 
 right and left, until drawn on by the ladies, who had a 
 horror of being stopped, I found myself sitting op- 
 posite to them in the carriage. 
 
 " How do you like the piece ? " said Esther in a 
 voice that rang cold and clear as crystal. 
 
 " Oh ! it's admirable," said I ; " pardon me, I an- 
 swered you without thinking. The truth is, I didn't 
 understand a word of what was being played ; but 
 what a triumph you had, my darling, what a triumph ! " 
 
 " I ? I didn't notice it. Tell Joseph to drive a little 
 faster." But what was Timold'on doing hiding in the 
 shadow like a conspirator, I thought, drawing up my 
 legs that I might not crush the ladies' dresses.
 
 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 One morning, two or three days after the first 
 night of the piece at the Opera-Comique, as I open- 
 ed the door of the dressing-room where the college 
 professors put on their gowns before going into the 
 class-rooms, I heard loud bursts of laughter. Being 
 a little late, I hastily entered, and the laughing in- 
 stantly ceased. One of the gentlemen, who had evi- 
 dently just been reading an article aloud, threw the 
 newspaper carelessly on the table, and began to fast- 
 en the collar of his gown. I had undoubtedly inter- 
 rupted something very interesting. I soon found my- 
 self alone ; the paper was still there, I took it up and 
 instantly saw a heading that excited my curiosity 
 greatly. It was couched in the following words : 
 " The-Artist Wife.' 1 ' 1 Unfortunately the signal for the 
 lecture sounded ; I hid the paper under my gown and 
 carried it into the class-room. There, although inter- 
 rupted every instant, I could devour this abominable 
 piece bit by bit. 
 
 The author of this study of manners, for such it 
 was, had pictured in repulsive terms a type of woman- 
 hood which might have been taken as describing gen- 
 eral characteristics, but was in reality the caricatured 
 portrait of Esther. Exact particulars abounded ; 
 special details, scarcely veiled, left no doubt whatever 
 in regard to the writer's intentions. Not only was the 
 talent of the artist wife very slightingly judged, but 
 the boldness of her extravagant style of painting was 
 looked upon as a barefaced means of attracting eyes 
 and hearts, a strange mode of obtaining notoriety, to 
 which justice must at last be done ; so that after hav- 
 ing read thirty lines of this atrocious article one was 
 convinced that it was alluding to some bold, artful 
 courtesan. To complete the picture, the husband's 
 portrait was added, a grotesque fawning fellow, living
 
 170 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 on the crumbs of the banquet, not even having the 
 modesty to remain unknown, but appearing from 
 time to time. 
 
 The first feeling I experienced was one of unmiti- 
 gated disgust. These are the bitter fruits of fame, 
 this is what it costs to surpass one's rivals. To what 
 degree of baseness can jealousy push some foul 
 souls ! I cared very little for the insults heaped 
 upon myself; the very excess of these calumnies 
 rendered them senseless and harmless ; I did not 
 feel injured, I scorned such mire; but she, the irre- 
 proachable artist so passionately devoted to her pro- 
 fession, thinking only of the pursuit of the beau- 
 tiful, impressionable and sensitive, like all refined 
 natures, how she would suffer in reading these infa- 
 mous lines ! I was in agony. 
 
 When my lesson was over, I went to the dressing- 
 room, and in the presence of all my colleagues, said : 
 
 " Gentlemen, I had the curiosity to read the paper 
 you apparently found amusing, for you were laughing 
 very heartily when I came in here before I went to 
 my class-room." 
 
 While I was speaking, one after another went 
 out through the half-open door. " This article, gen- 
 tlemen, is an infamous thing, a succession of mon- 
 strous calumnies which I should despise if they at- 
 tacked only myself, but being levelled at a person 
 whose honor is entrusted to me, whose character 
 must remain stainless, I cannot endure them, and beg 
 you to explain them." 
 
 Two or three of the gentlemen who had not yet left 
 the room, shrugged their shoulders slightly, and with- 
 out raising their eyes, made their escape. This 
 destroyed the composure I had maintained up to this 
 moment. " You are cowards, gentlemen," I cried. 
 " I said it, and I repeat it ; you are cowards ! " 
 
 "Come, Babolain, calm yourself; you see there 
 is no one here," said one of my colleagues, who, con-
 
 BABOLAIN. 171 
 
 
 
 cealed by the door of the wardrobe, was hanging up 
 his gown and cap. I turned and recognized the pro- 
 fessor of rhetoric, a very distinguished young man 
 who had graduated from the normal school with me. 
 
 " Are you there ? " said I. " Do you understand 
 nothing about what is happening to me ? What ! do 
 gentlemen who know me seem to approve of such in- 
 famies by their silence, and pretend not to hear me ! " 
 
 The idea occurred to me that my colleagues had 
 perhaps wished to make sport of my emotions, and 
 doubtless the next day would come to meet me, hold 
 out their hands, and apologize. " If they wanted to 
 mystify me," I added, " they have, without intending 
 it, cruelly overstepped all bounds. I don't think I 
 am excessively sensitive, but " 
 
 " Babolain, we are old acquaintances, and no one 
 can hear us ; let us speak frankly : you know very 
 well that what you are now doing is useless ; why do 
 you make all this outcry ? In certain positions I 
 don't judge you, mind that; but in some situations 
 people keep quiet ; if I hurt your feelings, I regret it 
 I'm right, believe me." 
 
 I approached him, ready to burst into a fury, and 
 said in a hollow tone : " I wish you to explain your- 
 self instantly ; I insist upon it ; ah ! you are smiling at 
 the base slanders like the others, ah ! you like the 
 dirty" 
 
 " Let me alone ; you are perfectly ridiculous." 
 
 " No, I will not let you alone ; no, this matter no 
 longer concerns me. Ah ! if I were only the sole 
 person whose character was at stake. But it is my 
 daughter's mother, my wife, who " 
 
 At the word wife he clapped me on the shoul- 
 der : " You haven't strength to play these parts " 
 
 I paused an instant, I was .suffocated. What mo- 
 tive had my old schoolmate for crushing me so ? 
 Had the poison of calumny glided into every heart ? 
 What was I to do, what could I say, where should I
 
 1 72 BABOLAIN. 
 
 find help ? Yet I must defend my wife, plead her 
 cause, prove, persuade I succeeded in calming my- 
 self a little, took my companion's hand in my trem- 
 bling fingers, and entreated, conjured him : " Tell 
 me what people think what you think yourself; I 
 know nothing about these scandals ! Everything 
 people can say is false, you see. I swear it is false. 
 This comes from the Institute I will tell you all, my 
 friend. You will perceive of what hatred my wife is 
 the object by the mere fact of her great genius. You 
 cannot know how implacable are the conflicts people 
 enter into in the world of art drawing, coloring, 
 light and shade. It is a reign of fanaticism, and jeal- 
 ousy from preference attacks the most refined natures, 
 the most lofty minds." 
 
 I saw plainly that he was touched. It was because 
 I spoke from my heart. At that moment I felt an 
 outburst of love for my wife which it is impossible to 
 describe. I was her only defender against all these 
 attacks, and the idea inspired me. I felt elevated, 
 freed from my fetters ; I was tall enough to rise to 
 her height, to rescue her ; for the first time in my life 
 I was protecting her. 
 
 The professor of rhetoric looked at me a moment 
 with a very peculiar expression ; and putting his books 
 under his arm, said : " Your innocence exceeds all 
 bounds, my poor fellow," then glancing at his watch : 
 " I'm somewhat hurried, I will leave you." 
 
 " And in a dastardly way, like all the others," I 
 cried, giving myself up to an outburst of the most 
 violent rage. Having taken off my gown, I was in 
 my shirt sleeves with my cap still on my head, and I 
 repeated with the most energetic gestures : " Cow- 
 ard ! yes, coward ! " 
 
 " What the deuce have you gone crazy ? You 
 are making me angry at last. Is it my fault if Mad- 
 ame Babolain makes herself the talk of all Paris ? " 
 
 " Wretch, oh ! wretched liar ! " and as I uttered
 
 BABOLAIN. 173 
 
 the words I sprang at his throat. The door was 
 thrown violently open, and five or six persons rushed 
 upon me ; I struggled like a madman, striking blindly 
 at everything around me, but the pain of being feeble 
 and powerless was to be added to my other sources 
 of shame. I was mastered in an instant. " I'll kill 
 him ! yes, I'll kill him ! and all the others," I mur- 
 mured. 
 
 " Put on your coat, Monsieur," said the proctor 
 gravely, " and cease this scandal. Have the kind- 
 ness to withdraw, Monsieur Babolain, or you will be 
 obliged to do so by force. Go at once." 
 
 I was compelled to obey, and was escorted to the 
 door of the college by two men who had been sum- 
 moned for the purpose. When I was in the street I sat 
 down on a stone ; I was like a drunken man. So I had 
 angered everybody without convincing any one ; I had 
 compromised my dignity as a professor without result. 
 The slanders would circulate more rapidly than ever, 
 thanks to my clumsiness; I must be the most foolish 
 of men, not to be able to prove what was perfectly 
 plain. I saw my poor Esther holding out her little 
 hands to me imploringly, and saying : " In the name of 
 our child, defend me ; everybody is attacking me ; 
 my dear husband, you are my only hope." 
 
 This thought reanimated me, and I began to walk 
 on haphazard, with my eyes fixed upon vacancy, and 
 my fists clenched. Soon I noticed that I still held 
 the scandalous paper in my hand, crushed and rum- 
 pled, it is true, but nearly intact. It was a ray of 
 light. At the first glance I found at the top of the 
 page the address I wanted, got into a cabriolet, and 
 twenty minutes after was knocking at the door of the 
 Lardon, a Journal of Literature and Art. In a very 
 narrow room, divided by a partition of lattice-work 
 adorned with placards, was a large table covered with 
 printed papers, among which a gentleman with an ex- 
 tremely bald head and a very weary air was rummag-
 
 174 
 
 BABOLAIN. 
 
 ing. The atmosphere was very close, and pervaded 
 with a smell of stale tobacco smoke and beer. 
 
 " Monsieur," said I without the slightest pream- 
 ble, " I have come to demand satisfaction for the 
 abuse and slanders your miserable paper contains." 
 
 " Pray sit down," replied the bald man smiling, 
 " I don't exactly understand what you mean. Against 
 which number do you make these grave charges ? " 
 
 " Here it is, Monsieur, look." And I threw the 
 fragment I still held in my hand upon the table. 
 
 " Oh ! J remember perfectly ; but there is nothing 
 in that number except an article entitled An Artist 
 Wife ; and I see nothing personal there, not a name, 
 not even an initial ; it is merely a study of man- 
 ners in general, a type in which any one who choos- 
 es can recognize himself, but which is no one's 
 portrait." 
 
 " You have lied. Madame Esther Paline is plain- 
 ly designated in that article. It is against her that 
 these anonymous slanders are directed ; have the 
 courage to confess your infamy, of which I will have 
 an immediate and complete retraction." 
 
 " And who are you who speak with so much au- 
 thority ? " 
 
 " I am Monsieur Babolain, professor of mathe- 
 matics in the college of Saint Louis, and husband of 
 the eminent artist whose fame you vainly seek to 
 tarnish." 
 
 " Her husband ! Well, Monsieur, I'm sorry for 
 you ;" then turning towards the grating he said, rais- 
 ing his voice : " Are you there, Henri ? Come here." 
 A short man with a cigarette in his mouth, disordered 
 hair, and flashing eyes, suddenly appeared, and my 
 surprise was great to recognize in this personage the 
 fiery Tambergeac, the implacable native of Toulouse, 
 the invincible bulwark of criticism. At last, then, I 
 should meet an honest man, who was independent 
 and just, and therefore ready to help me ; I held out
 
 BAJ30LAIN. 175 
 
 my hand to him. But without responding to my ad- 
 vances, he struck a dignified attitude in front of the 
 table, and said v 
 
 " It is vain for you to attempt a system of intimi- 
 dation here, Monsieur, which is beyond all bounds of 
 propriety. It is a sacrilege to limit the sacred free- 
 dom of criticism, and this paper, I would have you 
 to know, is an independent tribune where people can 
 speak according to their consciences." 
 
 " It is for that very reason that I appeal to your 
 fair dealing, your memory, the regard you have al- 
 ways shown for my wife." 
 
 " A truce to useless words, Monsieur. Admit, if 
 you choose, that I am the author of the article in 
 question, not a line of which will be expunged: I assume 
 the whole responsibility. The time is at last come 
 to drive the money-changers away from the temple, 
 to purify the arts, to do complete justice." 
 
 " You are either a fool or an arrant rascal, Mon- 
 sieur Tambergeac, miserable lackey of the Institute ! " 
 I uttered this insult haphazard, without understand- 
 ing its meaning very clearly myself, but imagining 
 it would sting him. The effect was speedy. The 
 gentleman from Toulouse buttoned his coat : " The 
 contempt your situation inspires saves you from an 
 immediate chastisement, Monsieur. I shall expect 
 your friends to-day." 
 
 " For what purpose, scoundrel ? " 
 
 " To make an arrangement with them as to the 
 best way of slitting your ears." And he disappeared 
 behind the grating. 
 
 That evening I returned to the Rue Vaugirard at a 
 very late hour. My good friend Timoleon, who, for 
 reasons which I did not exactly understand, had 
 positively refused to be my second, had shown the 
 utmost devotion in every other respect ; seeing that 
 the meeting was inevitable, he had kept me shut up 
 in his house all day, to prevent my getting into any
 
 1 76 BABOLAIN, 
 
 other scrape, he said, and taken upon himself the 
 difficult task of the arrangements and discussions. 
 He came back about ten o'clock in the evening, drip- 
 ping with perspiration, and found me seated before 
 some soup and a cutlet which had been brought from 
 some neighboring restaurant, and I had found it im- 
 possible to taste. He told me the result of his la- 
 bors : everything had gone off as well as possible ; 
 the arrangements for the duel had been very easily 
 settled. Tambergeac, who was convinced of my 
 awkwardness and inexperience, and moreover very 
 eager to carry out an affair which, without the least 
 danger, would secure himself the benefit of a scan- 
 dal, Tambergeac, I say, was intractable. We were 
 to fight early the next morning with swords, in a 
 spot admirably adapted for the purpose, just behind 
 the race-course of Montrouge : a dispensary student 
 and a young ensign were to be my seconds. 
 
 I confess that when I heard all this I felt chilled 
 to the very marrow of my bones. The fever which 
 had sustained my strength during the first part of the 
 day was completely calmed, and I saw the seriousness 
 of my situation clearly. I had never touched a sword ; 
 my sight was wretched, and I was not ignorant that 
 my awkwardness was exceptional. Were there not 
 very great chances that I should be killed ? Yet my 
 predominant thought was not the fear of death, but 
 the dread that I should not be equal to my duty when 
 on the ground, and might behave like a coward. 
 
 I returned home under the influence of this feel- 
 ing, lighted my lamp and began to arrange my papers, 
 pausing in my work, from time to time, to eagerly 
 swallow large glasses of water. At daybreak I went 
 into Valentine's room ; she was sleeping peacefully 
 in her cradle. I wanted to kiss her, clasp her in my 
 arms, but was trembling so violently that I was afraid 
 I should wake her ; was there any reason why she 
 should be disturbed because I was going into danger ;
 
 BABOLAIN. 177 
 
 would it improve my situation in the least ? I leaned 
 over my little daughter and murmured in a low tone : 
 
 " It must be, my precious darling, it must be. 
 This matter concerns your mother's honor and our 
 own. I must defend you both. If I should die, it 
 would be a misfortune ; but you don't know me very 
 well yet ; your sorrow would soon be over still, you 
 would not forget me too quickly. Do you remember 
 when we played on the carpet ? We've had very pleas- 
 ant times together, my poor love." 
 
 The clock struck five. I hastily dressed, took 
 down a little picture of Esther which hung on the 
 wall and put it in my pocket ; then with a parting sa- 
 lute to the house I might never see again, went cau- 
 tiously out. 
 
 We were the first to arrive at the place appointed. 
 "It would have been better, Monsieur," said the 
 young ensign, " if you had worn boots with heels. 
 What a lovely morning will you allow me to lend 
 you some military gloves ? I have a pair that are 
 just the thing flexible and thick : see, this doesn't 
 confine the fingers, and the weapon is supported. 
 You don't know your adversary's game, Monsieur ? " 
 
 I thought of my wife and daughter who were both 
 sleeping at that moment. " I hope my absence has 
 not been noticed yet," I said to myself. I dared 
 not answer the officer lest the trembling of my voice 
 should betray my state of mind, so I slightly shrug- 
 ged my shoulders and affected the utmost indiffer- 
 ence. " Faith, I'm like you, I don't want to know 
 my opponent's game, one is all the more prudent and 
 watchful. Not very long ago I had an affair with a 
 fellow of whose method I was entirely ignorant. As 
 I put myself on guard, I said to myself, 'one of two 
 things, either this fellow is ' " 
 
 The soldier's story was interrupted by the arrival 
 of the art critic, who bowed to us and immediately 
 took off his coat. We were ready in an instant. 
 12
 
 BABOLAIN. 
 
 Strange, when I saw my adversary's flashing eyes, 
 threatening face and shining sword, the necessity of 
 fulfilling my duty loyally to the end impressed itself 
 so forcibly upon me that all agitation ceased, every 
 fear vanished; it seemed as if some fatality surround- 
 ed me, some superhuman power commanded me to 
 chastise this scoundrel, and the sense of the justice 
 of my cause rendered me invincible. As soon as the 
 seconds had measured the swords and retired, I 
 clenched the hilt of my weapon firmly and advanced 
 rapidly upon my enemy to kill him. 
 
 Tambergeac grew very pale, and hastily retreated 
 until stopped by a fence, when he stretched out his 
 arm and turned his head aside. I felt a strange chill 
 sensation in my chest, my limbs tottered, everything 
 began to whirl around me, and I sank upon the 
 ground. 
 
 " The time is false, but it is a good thrust," said 
 somebody. 
 
 Meantime my opponent had thrown himself upon 
 me, crying : 
 
 " Oh ! God, gentlemen, I have killed him. How 
 did I do it ? This is terrible I wished him no harm, 
 gentlemen, none at all." 
 
 It was impossible for me to utter a word I faint- 
 ed. 
 
 XV. 
 
 When I again opened my eyes I gazed around me 
 for a long time like a man who has suddenly awaked 
 in a strange country ; then by degrees the fog in which 
 I was enveloped dispersed ; the forms of things, which 
 were at first as confused and undecided as the out- 
 lines of a wave, grew clear ; and with strange surprise 
 I recognized the fruit-room, my books, and the nar- 
 row bed on which I lay. I wanted to feel the cover- 
 lid with my hands, touch the walls to confirm the ira-
 
 B ABO LAIN. 179 
 
 pression received through my eyes ; but found I had 
 not strength even to raise my arm. Meantime a pale 
 woman whom I recognized by her white cap as a Sister 
 of Charity, was watching me earnestly. Beneath the 
 mild and benevolent gaze, I felt reassured, my mem- 
 ory returned, and I recollected my wound, the duel, 
 the horrible scene that had caused it, and all the rest. 
 
 " You are better," said the Sister, who had ap- 
 proached me \ " do not speak. You are still too 
 weak." 
 
 I muttered unintelligibly, " Where is my wife 
 and my child ? " 
 
 " Don't be anxious, my dear Monsieur, the little 
 one is very well ; she will come in and kiss you when 
 she gets home from the Luxembourg." 
 
 " My wife ? " 
 
 It seemed as if the Sister did not wish to hear ; 
 but seeing that I was still questioning her, she replied 
 with a faint blush : 
 
 u Madame is not in just now ; come, come, calm 
 yourself, or the doctor will scold us." 
 
 I was too much accustomed to Esther's absence 
 to be surprised that she was not at home. Yet I 
 should have liked to have given her my first glance 
 when I regained my consciousness ; I felt that there 
 was now a new and indissoluble bond between us 
 that of the blood I had shed to defend her. My poor 
 wife, how she had suffered during the crisis ! On 
 seeing me in this condition, she must have said to 
 herself: "If he should die, it is I who have killed 
 him." In anticipation I consoled her, held out my 
 arms to her. But why was she not here, it would 
 have done me so much good ! I was making these 
 reflections when the doctor entered, accompanied by 
 Timoleon ; his cheeks were hollow, and there was a 
 look of despair in his eyes. My old friend came up 
 to me and pressed my hands, while the doctor said 
 with a radiant face :
 
 I SO SABOLAIN. 
 
 " I can boast of having brought you back from a 
 long journey, my dear Monsieur; for more than a 
 month you have been obstinately endeavoring to 
 glide into the other world. Thank God ! the danger 
 is now over." 
 
 " And my wife ? " I faltered, looking at Timolon. 
 
 " She'll soon be back again, my friend ; the ladies 
 were obliged to go into the country for a few days. 
 They thought your sickness would be less severe of 
 course." 
 
 " Yes," added the doctor with a peculiar expres- 
 sion, " it was absolutely necessary. I ordered their 
 departure on account of an attack of bronchitis, 
 which required a change of air ; but calm yourself, 
 what a man you are ! I assure you there is no clan- 
 ger, it is a mere precaution." 
 
 " You are perfectly sure ? " 
 
 " Why, of course. Don't be disturbed, keep 
 quiet," said the three persons at my bedside in the 
 same breath. They smiled at me and I smiled too. 
 
 My strength rapidly returned ; but as I grew bet- 
 ter, my wife's absence and persistent silence seemed 
 more and more incomprehensible. Every day I ask- 
 ed about her at last Timolt-on said : 
 
 " My dear friend, since the truth must be confess- 
 ed to you, I fear the ladies won't return as soon as I 
 expected. They went much farther than I told you." 
 
 " But where are they ? Speak, 1 beg of you." 
 
 " They are in Italy. Doubtless they would have 
 been less hasty in taking their departure, but you 
 know how eager an artist's imagination is. Your 
 wife received commissions for several important 
 works, which she could only complete there, and you 
 know that for a long time she has had an ardent de- 
 sire to visit the museums of Italy. The study of the 
 great masters is a capital question 
 
 While saying this, Timolc'on was choosing words 
 in great embarrassment. 1 had remained perfectly
 
 BABOLAltf. l8l 
 
 bewildered, with my eyes fixed on vacancy, and my 
 hands clasped. After an instant's pause, I murmur- 
 ed, without intending it : " She is very cruel. And 
 suppose I had died what would have become of 
 our child ? She did not think of all this, I know very 
 well her art takes complete possession of her. It is 
 too easy for us who know nothing of the transports of 
 genius to tax with ingratitude these privileged beings 
 whose mission is not to nurse the sick, but to create 
 magnificent works which are the glory of the human 
 mind. Could they produce their master-pieces if 
 their pursuit of a single object did not render them 
 insensible to the thousand details of every-day life ? 
 It is we who are guilty, we commonplace mortals, 
 who, through instinctive jealousy, want to cling to 
 their wings and find in their souls our petty, trivial 
 virtues, which could not exist there. She causes me 
 great sorrow by going away ; but after all, what does 
 that matter, if she can paint one picture the more ? " 
 
 "Oh ! you are sublime," exclaimed Timoleon. 
 
 " If people are sublime so cheaply, you are sub- 
 lime too." 
 
 " I I am a miserable wretch; a scoundrel, a cow- 
 ard. If you knew what I really am, you would be 
 ashamed to have held out your hand to me." 
 
 " You are joking. Yet this is not the time." 
 
 "Yes, I'm joking : I am wrong. When Madame 
 Paline went away, she gave me this letter for you, 
 and I promised to deliver it, my dear friend. I have 
 not read it, but whatever it may contain, promise me 
 to be calm. You will be brave, won't you, you'll give 
 me your oath." 
 
 He opened a drawer and placed a pile of papers 
 in my lap. 
 
 " There is your mail," said he ; " there are a great 
 many proofs to correct, as you see." 
 
 He pressed my hand and left the room. I in- 
 stantly recognized my mother-in-law's writing, broke 
 the seal and read the following lines :
 
 1 82 BASQLAIN"* 
 
 " MONSIEUR : 
 
 " Your last mad act caps the climax of 
 the tortures we have endured ever since bonds which 
 are unfortunately indissoluble have united you to 
 my daughter." I stopped short, turned the letter in 
 every direction, again examined the signature, and 
 then resumed : " Too long, Monsieur, have I excused 
 you, believing you unaware of the suffering you 
 caused us; but now doubt is no longer possible; you 
 had premeditated everything, calculated everything 
 in advance ; you had set yourself the task of smoth- 
 ering the enthusiasm, the glow of the artist's soul un- 
 der the heavy burden of your truly oppressive indi- 
 viduality. Pardon me if any offensive expression 
 slips from my pen ; my despair does not allow me 
 time to choose my phrases, and I wish to tell you what 
 1 think at once. 
 
 "To attain your object more surely, to complete 
 your work of destruction, you cause scandals to 
 spring up, call to your aid the publicity of I know 
 not what discreditable papers, and even lose your 
 self-respect so far as to cross swords with lov, people, 
 doubtless in the hop'e that some of the disgrace of 
 such an adventure will be reflected upon your wife's 
 brow and my own. We have in our blood, Monsieur, 
 a hatred of certain base actions and cannot endure 
 them near us. You wish to become famous too, to 
 win renown by force ; you are at liberty to do so ; but 
 do not depend upon my daughter's reputation as a 
 stepping-stone on which we will allow you to mount. 
 
 " My daughter, by my advice, has used your name 
 very litue hitherto ; henceforth she expects to forget it 
 entirely. We break all ties with the past. Over- 
 whelmed with broken illusions, suffering from a thou- 
 sand blows, bleeding at a thousand wounds and with 
 our brows crimson with blushes, we go to seek at the 
 sacred springs of art, rest and forget fulness. May 
 Gad forgive you, Monsieur. We leave your raol
 
 BABOLAItf. 183 
 
 with empty hands, contenting ourselves with our few 
 personal effects ; for we want to deprive you of even 
 the shadow of those pretexts you have been skilful 
 in transforming into a scandal. Let it be clearly un- 
 derstood that your wealth, however great it may be 
 we do not wish to know -is not a chain strong 
 enough to keep us under your authority. 
 
 " My daughter, who approves of this determina- 
 tion, joins me in signing the present letter. 
 
 " ESTHER PALINE DE MARTIGNAC-CORBON. 
 
 " EVELINA DE MARTIGNAC-CORBON." 
 
 I could not turn my eyes from the fatal sheet ; but 
 it was useless to fix my attention, it was absolutely 
 impossible for me to understand its meaning clearly. 
 I was in the midst of a nightmare, whose reality 
 appeared only in the most confused forms. The only 
 thing that seemed plain was, that they had gone 
 away hating me. I called Valentine, and when I 
 had her in my arms, passionately kissed her cheeks, 
 her forehead, her hair, her little hands and her 
 clothing. I looked at her as if I saw her for the first 
 time. 
 
 " I have no one but you now, my darling," said I. 
 " How shall I love you without making myself hate- 
 ful ? " And I clasped her so closely that, doubtless, 
 being terrified, she called her nurse. " Yes, yes, 
 carry her away," I said eagerly, " she must not be 
 frightened." 
 
 I mechanically opened another letter ornament- 
 ed with a huge red seal ; it contained the following 
 lines : 
 
 " To Monsieur Babolain, Agrege des Sciences, Profes- 
 sor of Mathematics in the college of St. Louis : 
 
 " MONSIEUR, 
 
 " Upon the report of your principal, and 
 according to the vote of the council of the Uruvejt-
 
 J 84 BABOLAIN. 
 
 sity in the session held upon the third of this month, 
 His Excellency the Minister of Public Instruction 
 has decided that you should, until further orders, be 
 suspended from your office and placed on the unat- 
 tached list: 
 
 " His Excellency, Monsieur, regrets that reasons 
 of great importance, which it is doubtless needless to 
 recapitulate, compel him to adopt a measure whose 
 severity ill harmonizes with the pleasant associations 
 formerly left by you in the minds of the body of pro- 
 fessors." 
 
 This was signed and countersigned. 
 
 " So everything is crumbling around me ! I am 
 accursed ! " I exclaimed. " But after all, what have 
 I done ? For what crime am I hunted down in this 
 way ? " In an outburst of rebellion and despair, I 
 crushed the papers lying before me, hurled them 
 upon the floor and trampled them under my feet. 
 " Heartless creatures,you have plundered me, and now 
 that I have nothing left, now that I am without strength 
 and without resources, you fly from me as if 1 were 
 a mangy dog only fit to be killed ! Genius ! genius ! 
 Does it concern me ? Do I know anything about 
 your wild fancies? Why should I be the expiatory 
 victim of your genius ? To satisfy you, I must also 
 be deprived of the possibility of repairing the evil 
 you have done me, and that my ruin may be complete, 
 you wrest from me even the nails with which I 
 might scratch the ground. Oh ! you may hate me, for 
 I hate you too. I will efface the memory of your 
 passage through my life, as we brush mud from our 
 clothing. Hatred for hatred, scorn for scorn, that is 
 justice, and I will prove it to you when you return." 
 Exhausted by this fit of passion, I sank upon my bed. 
 " They will never come back, since they detest me. 
 Is it their fault ? Is not one always guilty when one 
 makes one's self odious ? Who compelled me to plun- 
 der myself for them ; did I not do so of my own free
 
 BABOLAIN. 185 
 
 -will, from a mere feeling of selfishness ? I was proud 
 of them ; my pride was flattered when I saw them 
 brilliant and admired j of what use is it to threaten 
 Providence ? Would God be just if His logic were 
 not inflexible ? Can He change moral laws for me ? 
 Have I not been blind and mad, ridiculously vain 
 to believe myself agreeable ? And yet she has felt 
 real affection for me at times I cannot refuse to 
 believe proof; she has loved me ; yes, yes, I remem- 
 ber." 
 
 " It will be useless for her to protest, to curse me," 
 I thought ; " this great artist has given herself to me, 
 and of the past, which she is powerless to destroy, I 
 retain a most living proof our Valentine, my sweet 
 little angel." 
 
 I rose, picked up the papers scattered over the 
 floor, and seating myself before the table, eagerly be- 
 gan to correct my proof-sheets. 
 
 When Timol6on returned, he surprised me in the 
 midst of this task. Pausing on the threshold he held 
 out his arms to me : 
 
 " Pardon me, Babolain," said he, " I did not have 
 the courage to remain near you while you were read- 
 ing those letters, whose contents I guessed only too 
 easily. My poor friend my brother ! I have spent 
 all this time in the Carmelite church You are 
 wretched, are you not ? You must take refuge in 
 prayer, open your heart to God ; in Him alone you 
 will find strength to resist the blow that is overwhelm- 
 ing you." 
 
 I know not why Timole'on's eager sympathy was 
 painful to me. Why had he besought the aid of Prov- 
 idence ; why did he advise me to do the same ? Did 
 God need so many idle words ? What could I tell 
 Him ? should I seek to deceive Him by decking my- 
 self out in my woes before His eyes ? Should I be 
 pitiful and ridiculous enough to ask Him to stop the 
 course of His justice, and was it not the only prayer
 
 1 86 BABOLAfN. 
 
 worthy of Him, to accept His inevitable sentence and 
 bend the head without prayer or pleading ? 
 
 " What is done is done." said I, casting down my 
 eyes, for I was by no means sure that I could look 
 him in the face without bursting into tears. " Let me 
 correct these proofs ; you see I am very much behind- 
 hand, and the people at the printing office will be fu- 
 rious. Never speak to me again of what you know, 
 will you ? Never, never." 
 
 "Sorrow glides over without hurting you," he said 
 with a shade of irritation in his tone. " You don't 
 know what we suffer, we who have less hardened 
 souls. But your indifference frightens me, I assure 
 you ; if the philosophical skepticism which takes the 
 place of everything else to you produces such effects 
 upon hearts, I think it is repulsive, and I pity you." 
 
 " I am not indifferent, and it is useless to pity me, 
 Timole'on." 
 
 "I excuse no one ; but indeed, I can understand 
 many things now ! So you don't suspect, heart of 
 stone, that even as I talk to you I am suffering the 
 tortures of the damned ? I'm disturbing you good- 
 bye," said he. 
 
 " Good-bye, Timole'on, good-bye." 
 
 My life was to begin anew, that was all. I had de- 
 ceived myself; I had been mad ; my pride had intoxi- 
 cated me. I had believed myself able to marry a 
 woman who was my superior. The point in question 
 now was to see if I had the material for a father in 
 me. That became a fixed idea. I imagined myself 
 in this new character ; my ugliness, my physical de- 
 fects, etc., would no longer be obstacles, and besides, 
 I was -conscious of possessing treasures of tender- 
 ness and devotion for my little daughter. 
 
 I dismissed the servants, sold the horse and car- 
 riage, and began to set my affairs in order ; but as 
 fast as I paid back bills, fresh debts, of which I knew 
 nothing, seemed to spring from the ground. There
 
 BABOLAW. 187 
 
 was something incomprehensible and exorbitant 
 about them. Was this a gulf in which our last re- 
 sources would be engulfed ? " Oh ! God/' I said in 
 despair, " if we should have nothing left ! " 
 
 At the same time that I was settling my affairs, 
 I resumed my labor with desperate eagerness, to 
 finish the heavy task I had undertaken. Morning, 
 noon and night, I went to Valentine's cradle, lowered 
 the curtain, re-adjusted the coverlids, listened to her 
 breathing. It always seemed to me as if some dan- 
 ger threatened her, and her life depended entirely 
 upon my care and watchfulness. 
 
 Often too, I wandered through the large suite of 
 apartments, whose disorder reminded me, only too 
 clearly, of the ladies' hurried departure. It caused 
 me deep sorrow, and yet I sought a thousand pretexts 
 to return and remain amid the furniture and hangings. 
 Must I not bid them farewell? For I should soon 
 sell them ; I would separate myself from these scenes 
 of luxury which were not fit for me ; and I sat down 
 upon the sofa, where she sometimes used to lie. I 
 opened the piano and paused before the wardrobe ; 
 rummaged in every corner, searched the shelves, and 
 if I chanced to find a bit of ribbon, a pin, any trifle 
 that might have belonged to her, hastily wrapped it up 
 and carefully concealed it. 
 
 She sometimes appeared before me so distinctly 
 that I felt actually frightened, took refuge in my room 
 and double-locked the door. 
 
 One day, some recollection returning to mind, I 
 remembered the Jew Isaac, the picture-dealer who 
 had so greatly appreciated my wife's talent. Perhaps 
 this man still had some painting signed by Esther in 
 his shop. At all events, it was possible that he had 
 kept up his business relations with her, and could 
 give me information of her whereabouts. After hesi- 
 tating a long time I went to Isaac's shop, and when I 
 had looked at some sketches, said to him : " I be-
 
 1 88 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 lieve you have had several of Mme. Esther Palinc's 
 pictures." 
 
 I saw at once that he did not recognize me. He 
 smoothed his chin like a man who is trying to re- 
 member something. 
 
 " Esther Paline Esther Paline ? " 
 
 An instant after, he smiled brightly. 
 
 " Oh ! yes, I recollect perfectly. One of the 
 pictures made a good deal of stir; M. le Comte de 
 Vaugirau bought it, ha! ha! as well as many others. 
 I've got them all up stairs." 
 
 I felt chilled. 
 
 " So, Monsieur," I stammered, " you have a great 
 many of this artist's paintings." 
 
 ""Everything she has done, probably. When 
 Monsieur de Vaugirau went to Italy a short time ago, 
 he left the collection with me." 
 
 I clung to an easel to save myself from falling. 
 " To Italy to Italy ? " I repeated in my agitation ; 
 " that is impossible." 
 
 " What did you say ? " 
 
 " Nothing I said nothing, on the contrary, I was 
 thinking ah ! to Italy." 
 
 The Jew looked earnestly at me, and said in an 
 insinuating tone : 
 
 " Madame Esther Paline is an artist of great 
 originality ; some of her sketches are amazing. 
 Would Monsieur like to see any of them ? I would 
 sell them at a very low price." 
 
 " Oh ! no, I have not my situation will not al- 
 low me to buy on the contrary, I was going pardon 
 me, I am a little out of breath 1 was going to offer 
 you three of this lady's drawings which I happen to 
 have." 
 
 Isaac's expression changed completely. 
 
 " That's a very different matter," said he, " total- 
 ly different." 
 
 " Would you buy these sketches, Monsieur ? "
 
 B ABO LAIN. 189 
 
 " No indeed," and he burst into a sneering laugh. 
 
 " They are very interesting sketches ; the first in- 
 spiration of the artist.-' 
 
 " Don't urge the matter ; you see I'm loaded with 
 Esther Paline's pictures, and the paintings are abso- 
 lutely worthless to me with the exception of the 
 frames. You must perceive I'm not quite crazy 
 enough to increase the number beg pardon I'm 
 just going to breakfast." 
 
 I suddenly drew myself up to my full height, as if 
 I had received an electric shock. 
 
 " You speak very contemptuously of works which 
 have excited enthusiasm and admiration." 
 
 " Between ourselves," replied the dealer impa- 
 tiently, " Madame Paline's pretended talent has nev- 
 er existed, and her painting is far below mediocrity. 
 A fuss has been made about her as well as a great 
 many other pretty women, with whose success art 
 has absolutely nothing whatever to do ; you know 
 that as well as I, Monsieur." 
 
 " It is not so ; it is false," I cried, struggling like 
 a wretch condemned to the stake, whom the flames 
 are just beginning to reach. 
 
 " It must be confessed you're a very odd stick," 
 said the Jew, bursting into shouts of laughter. 
 
 " And why should M. le Comte de Vaugirau have 
 bought all these pictures if they were valueless?" 
 My tone was threatening. 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! Why, what do you want me to say ? 
 M. le Comte undoubtedly had excellent reasons 
 these things don't require any explanation." 
 
 " You have lied ! you are a knave ! " 
 
 " What ! what ! Be good enough to take yourself 
 off at once." 
 
 I wandered through the city like a bewildered 
 hare pursued by a pack of hounds. I suddenly 
 crossed the street and then went back again; stopped 
 without any reason, jostled against the passers-by,
 
 BABOLAIN. 
 
 stared around me without seeing anything, and then 
 continued my way, while the Jew's voice still buzzed 
 in my ears. If this scoundrel had told the truth, 
 what was the woman I had married, of what infernal 
 play had I been the laughing-stock ? 
 
 But how could I believe in so many horrors ? It 
 was all false, I was the victim of abominable impos- 
 tures. While struggling against the proof that clutch- 
 ed my throat, I said to myself : " We will go away. 
 We will pack up to-morrow. I will break, burn every- 
 thing they have touched ; my child must be snatched 
 from these accursed scenes before they have made a 
 lasting impression upon her mind. Valentine must al- 
 ways be ignorant of these falsehoods. We will take 
 refuge in some corner of the world far from knaves 
 and liars. We will live for each other, and perhaps 
 the memory of these evil days may in time be ef- 
 faced. 
 
 But alas ! we cannot do away with a portion of 
 our existence at will. All the thoughts and emotions 
 of life cling together, and are interlaced like the 
 links of a chain. Memory is disobedient to the com- 
 mands we wish to impose ; recollections are ever- 
 watchful foes, and if for an instant we succeed in 
 driving them from our homes, they take up their 
 abode without, watch for us, haunt our walks, twine 
 about us, and the circle of the past whirls around the 
 old man with the more violence, the greater the ef- 
 forts he makes to fly from it. Life is not a succes- 
 sion of naked facts ; around each are woven the feel- 
 ings, the fancies, the impressions of every kind which 
 have preceded or followed it, which have been its 
 cause or effect ; and this brain-work, these illusions, 
 these mirages, with which we have swaddled our acts, 
 soon mingle with them ; so that afterwards we can 
 no longer recollect the act without at the same time 
 remembering its surroundings, its swaddling bands, 
 its bark ; it appears to us ready clothed, and we are
 
 BABOLAIN. IQI 
 
 powerless to separate what we have done from what 
 we might have done, the real from the imaginary, the 
 object from its image. This is why we love certain 
 things in the past which were worthy of hatred, why 
 we cherish certain sorrows. 
 
 Why curse the mirror whose falsehood makes us 
 happy ? The illusion was deceitful ; but was the joy 
 to which it gave birth any the less real ? What does 
 it matter if the thing is black, if my eyes first saw it 
 white and the memory of this false whiteness still 
 charms and consoles me ! 
 
 What matters it that she deceived me ? Why 
 search into this mystery ? And moreover, did she 
 deceive me ? I do not want to know I want the 
 proof which would overwhelm me to remain a false- 
 hood. Nothing will seem to have any truth save the 
 illusion which made me live. The Esther I have in 
 my heart is the real Esther. 
 
 Such were the arguments by whose aid I cheered 
 my sorrow. Thus, in taking refuge in the past with a 
 sort of obstinacy, I still deferred until the morrow the 
 moment of leaving the surroundings which helped 
 me to remember. And while arranging the pro- 
 gramme of a new life and thinking of leaving Paris, 
 I was gradually resuming my former habits. 
 
 At the time when the classes met, I mechanically 
 looked at my watch, as I used to do when I feared to 
 be late, and went out slinking under the shadows of 
 the walls, avoiding every eye and trembling lest I 
 should be recognized. Useless anxiety ! I was aged, 
 broken, my hair had grown gray, and I walked with 
 difficulty, leaning on my cane. When, after having 
 passed through out-of-the-way streets, I approached 
 the college, I saw my scholars pass by. I found this 
 one changed, the other seemed taller ; I remembered 
 their voices, their gestures, and every particular of 
 those times. Why could I not live over my old life, 
 return to the college from which I had driven my-
 
 1 92 BABOLALV. 
 
 self? But the logical consequences of my fault must 
 be endured to the end ; it was necessary for the con- 
 summation of the justice of Providence that every- 
 thing around me should be shattered ; that I should 
 be abandoned by all ; that Timol6on also 
 
 I went to his house one day, and when I asked 
 the concierge if I could go up, the good woman stop- 
 ped me, saying that he was not in. 
 
 " Will he come back soon ? " said I. 
 
 '' I know nothing about it ; Monsieur has been 
 travelling for a fortnight." 
 
 " And where is he ? " 
 
 " This is the address he wrote himself to have his 
 letters sent to him." 
 
 The concierge looked through the pigeon-holes in a 
 desk, and handed me a piece of paper, on which 
 were written these few words : 
 
 " Florence : to be left at the office till called for." 
 
 I sank into a chair, and dropped the paper I held 
 upon the floor. 
 
 XVI. 
 
 Doctor Bernard, weary of waiting for us, had gone 
 to bed when, about eleven o'clock in the evening, our 
 coach stopped on the Place de Favras before the 
 sign of the Barbe (for. Valentine, whom I had held 
 in my arms all the way, was sleeping soundly. We 
 shook the nurse, my good Marianne, whose head 
 had been resting on my shoulder for two long hours, 
 and got out. The hostess of the inn threw a large 
 armful of small sticks of wood on the fire the pans in 
 the kitchen sparkled brightly and seating myself 
 near the Hames, I undressed my little daughter. It 
 was the most important thing to be done. 
 
 When she was laid in a large white bed perfumed 
 with a pleasant odor of freshly-washed linen, and I 
 had arranged everything for the night, J withdrew
 
 B ABO LAIN. 193 
 
 into the next room, took off my hat, which had been 
 torturing me ever since morning, and opened the 
 window. A pale gleam of moonlight dimly revealed 
 the church, the square, and the tops of the trees, 
 among which appeared the strange, vague outlines 
 of chimneys and tall gables. There was not a sound 
 except the murmur of the mill-dam, the ticking of a 
 clock, the distant barking of the dogs in the farm- 
 yards, and the stamping of the horses in the stables. 
 The air was pure and fresh and full of the delicious 
 perfumes of the fields ; I fancied that I was trans- 
 ported into an imaginary world. How far I was 
 from accursed Paris, the slightest memory of which 
 I eagerly repelled ! I gazed into the mysterious dark- 
 ness with a curious glance, seeking to guess before- 
 hand what the day would reveal of the new scenes in 
 which my life was to begin. I found this perfect 
 calmness consoling and full of promise. Is it, then, 
 so very difficult to efface a portion of one's life ? I 
 went to bed, and before falling asleep re-read the 
 doctor's letter, in consequence of which I had under- 
 taken this journey. 
 
 I had known Bernard at the College of Orleans, 
 and although several years older than I, we had been 
 in the same division. I had always retained a cer- 
 tain regard for him, and even written him a letter at 
 the time of my marriage. Therefore, when I had 
 fully determined to retire into the country, finding 
 myself greatly embarrassed in regard to the choice 
 of a place of retreat, I asked the advice of my old 
 fellow-student, who, I knew, was settled in le Blaisois, 
 where he was practising medicine with great success. 
 He very obligingly promised to try to find a house 
 suitable to my wants in his neighborhood ; and almost 
 immediately after, in another letter, told me he 
 had discovered something that would please me, and 
 was holding it at my disposal. Thus, after having 
 collected the last remnants of my fortune, which for- 
 13
 
 IQ4 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 tunately would secure us the necessaries of life, 1 
 went to take up my abode in the market-town of 
 Favras. The next morning the doctor came for me 
 in his gig, and through narrow, grass-grown roads 
 bordered with hedges from which the birds flew out 
 in hundreds, took me to the estate intended for me, 
 and of which he confessed himself to be the owner. 
 The terms were settled, I accepted everything with 
 my eyes shut, engaged a servant belonging to the 
 neighborhood at once, and was installed in the house 
 that very evening. It was a real cure's dwelling, 
 cheerful, sheltered from the north winds, ancient and 
 plain, situated about three-quarters of a mile from 
 the market-town, and surrounded by a garden where 
 apple trees and cabbages, gilliflowers and lettuce, 
 grew amicably together. There were long narrow 
 walks edged with high borders of box, three crumb- 
 ling steps which led into the dining-room, a stone 
 bench near a sun-dial, and below, the stream flowing 
 under the willow trees among the tall grasses. Then 
 there was the wash-house with its thatched roof, the 
 wharf for the boat nothing was lacking. 
 
 I had found a frame which exactly suited me ; this 
 was the corner where I ought always to have lived. I 
 eagerly thanked Bernard. It seemed as if he hail 
 chosen this dwelling with a feeling of tenderness, as 
 if with touching intuition he had divined my sad moral 
 state and tried to alleviate it by procuring this refuge 
 for me. It was certainly a proof of affection, and I was 
 all the more touched by it because my old comrade 
 carried delicacy so far as to conceal his kind solicitude 
 under an appearance of roughness and supercilious- 
 ness. 
 
 He was a short fat man, with a very ruddy com- 
 plexion, and as he said himself, did not know what the 
 word obstacle meant. Very soon after his marriage 
 he had lost his wife, who left him one son, named 
 Joseph. He was held in high esteem in the mar-
 
 B ABO LAIN. 195 
 
 ket-town, not only on account of his talents and his 
 cheerful way of making them conspicuous, but for the 
 sake of his rapidly increasing wealth, his handsome 
 house built of brick and stone which threatened the 
 skies with its lightning-rod, his skill in foreseeing op- 
 portunities and taking advantage of them, in buying 
 his oats, selling his wine, becoming the purchaser 
 of large tracts of woodland, which, to the great de- 
 light of the peasants, he parcelled out after selling 
 the timber ; on account of his enterprising, resolute 
 character, the ringing tone of his voice, when he said : 
 " Men square at the base like myself are never taken 
 unawares ; " his huge stomach, small eyes, and red 
 beard. 
 
 Far from being irritated by Bernard's rough pat- 
 ronizing manners, I accepted them with a sort of 
 gratitude : the trials through which I had just pass- 
 ed had made me even more timid than before ; I 
 was now isolated, destitute of advice, doubting my- 
 self and overwhelmed by the responsibility of the 
 resolutions I should be obliged to form. It was real- 
 ly providential that at this very moment a firm, deter- 
 mined friend, who did not know what obstacle meant 
 and was square at the base, allowed me to lean on 
 his shoulder and cling to him. 
 
 In fact I was soon overwhelmed by the numberless 
 cares caused by my settling in the house, or rather 
 Valentine's. Destitute of skill in household matters, 
 and naturally prone to foresee and weigh the conse- 
 quences of things, I brought to this new task the 
 scrupulous care of a chemist who is making a delicate 
 analysis. Two rooms seemed equally suitable for my 
 daughter's reception ; but which of the two should I 
 choose ? One, it is true, was warmed by the rising 
 sun ; but the walls of the other were thicker, and a 
 clump of trees protected it from the wind. On the 
 other hand, this clunp of trees might cause a dangerous 
 dampness ; and this was not to be feared in the first 
 room, which I should undoubtedly have chosen had
 
 196 BABOLAIN. 
 
 it not been for the thousand inconveniences I discov- 
 ered every moment. By means of reflecting I suc- 
 ceeded by logical deductions in increasing my uncer- 
 tainty, and nothing more. I went to the market- 
 town several times to get the doctor's opinion ; but 
 when I was in his study, filled with engravings, and 
 saw him, wrapped in his dressing-gown, seated before 
 his huge desk covered with important papers ; when, 
 after brushing his hand across his forehead, as if 
 disturbed, he said, laughing in my face : " Well, what 
 is it now, my poor Babolain ? " I was checked in my 
 desire to unbosom my troubles ; and comparing my 
 affairs with his, accused myself of childishness, of in- 
 discretion, and usually left him without having spo- 
 ken of what brought me there. I can still remember 
 the fit of merriment that overpowered him when 
 one day I asked where, in his opinion, was the best 
 place on my estate to put a rain-gauge, the want of 
 which I felt in regulating the watering. And yet, to 
 a rational mind, nothing is more natural than this de- 
 sire to have a rain-gauge : how can we give the earth 
 the proper quantity of water, if we are ignorant of 
 what each square yard can and ought to receive ? 
 But what does all this matter ? 
 
 When Valentine's room had been selected, other 
 cares succeeded which I would trust to no one but 
 myself. I began to put down carpets, to stop up the 
 chinks, to nail pads under the doors, and from the 
 first day, my hands were bruised with blows from the 
 hammer. Moreover, I devoted myself to the garden 
 after a fashion, and gave directions to the carpenters 
 and locksmiths I had summoned* to make some little 
 changes. This was a very great affair ! In regard 
 to carpentering and locksmith's work I was reduced to 
 the memory of my former study of mechanics, so that 
 these orders gave me considerable difficulty. Per- 
 haps I even calculated the probable consequences 
 of everything too scientifically, for it often happen-
 
 BABOLAIN. 197 
 
 ed that they were obliged to begin again the next 
 morning at what they had done the night before. I 
 apologized to the workmen and tried to make them 
 understand upon what principle I had based my rea- 
 sonings. 
 
 Unfortunately they were destitute of even the 
 most elementary notions. 
 
 Bernard said to me one day: "What kind of 
 trade are you forcing upon your unlucky workmen, 
 my poor Babolain ? The people in the town talk of 
 nothing but you." 
 
 Yet I had but one wish, that the whole world 
 would forget me and my little girl, and leave us at 
 peace in the corner where we had taken refuge. 
 
 At last quiet and calmness were restored ; we 
 were settled in our new home, were alone, and very 
 comfortable. Then a strange phenomenon took 
 place in me. The silence of the fields, the purity of 
 the vivifying air which restored my health and seem- 
 ed to intoxicate me, the trees, the flowers, the blue 
 depths of the skies, disposed me to fits of meditation 
 and happiness never felt before. I allowed my 
 whole being to be pervaded by the fair nature I now 
 saw for the first time ; I gave myself up to her, was 
 perfectly confident, had no fears for the future ; and 
 during hours spent in lying upon the grass, lifting 
 the bits of moss, searching among the tiny flowers, I 
 listened, waited, and absorbed indefinable sensations 
 vague and confused, but sweet and consoling. And 
 these were not purely physical impressions, there 
 was an exchange of emotions and actual feelings be- 
 tween nature and myself. I perceived the presence 
 of a soul which was speaking to mine ; there was 
 tenderness in the warmth of the kindly sun which 
 caressed my back; charitable hospitality in the 
 tree that sheltered me with its foliage. My little 
 garden was kind-hearted ; it was a safe, prudent con- 
 fidant, always ready to hear, never weary of consoling
 
 198 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 me. There was no more mocking, no more distrust. 
 When I was alone I was surrounded by friends. 
 
 The annoyances and sorrows of former days pro- 
 duced upon me the effect of the low continuous base 
 the rolling of a carriage causes, and which tempts 
 one to sing. In the morning, when I opened my win- 
 dow-shutters into the fragrant tufts of clematis and 
 jasmine ; when the pure air streamed in, and I saw 
 my trees invigorated and rejoicing in their existence, 
 my turf besprinkled with dew-drops ; when I heard 
 the warbling of the redwings and nightingales, my 
 soul expanded joyously. 
 
 I thought to myself: " Can it be that the horizon 
 becomes more vast as the scenes amid which we 
 live grow more contracted ? Can it be that infinity is 
 within our own souls ? Is it possible that God Him- 
 self is in our hearts, and wills that we should seek 
 Him there?" 
 
 All my past, with its sufferings, its wild aspira- 
 tions, now seemed inexplicable. People should never 
 be allowed to run to the ends of the world to study 
 exotic plants until they are perfectly familiar with the 
 gilliflower that grows in their windows. We all have a 
 strong chain that holds us prisoners : by pulling at it 
 we hurt our feet but do not lengthen the bond. 
 Browsing goats are strange animals ; put them in the 
 centre of the most beautiful lawn, and they instantly 
 rush to the end of their rope, tugging at it till it 
 strangles them, sighing for the twigs they cannot 
 reach, and indifferent to the nice tender grass that 
 surrounds the stake. Had not I been like the goat? 
 " Eat your grass, Babolain," I said to myself, " and 
 you will see afterwards." It seemed as if Valentine, 
 young as she was, must feel the same emotions as 1. 
 I should have proof of it, by and by, when she knew 
 how to speak and could tell me her childish impres- 
 sions. She was certainly happy, rolling about on the 
 greensward while Marianne was stretched in the
 
 BABOLAIN. 199 
 
 shade. The dear little thing could not criticize me 
 yet ; she did not think me either stupid or ridiculous ; 
 I was not disagreeable to her. I must take advantage 
 of the moment, secure her affection in good time ; 
 and I racked my brains to find means of making my- 
 self beloved. Often, vexed by my steady gaze which 
 she did not understand, she avoided me as we avoid 
 the rays of sunlight a glass casts upon us ; so I pru- 
 dently waited for her to fall asleep that I might search 
 her face at my ease. Opportunities were not lacking. 
 My little girl, who spent the whole day in the open 
 air, fell asleep in an arm-chair almost every evening. 
 Then like a miser who goes down into his cellar, very 
 sure of not being watched, I approached her, taking 
 a thousand precautions, slipped a cushion under the 
 little sleeper's head by no means unskilfully, upon 
 my honor, drew her little limbs nearer together, 
 raised her rounded arms, adjusted the lamp-shade, 
 and bending over her on my knees, feasted my long- 
 ing eyes. 
 
 " Sleep, my treasure, sleep calmly, my little arigel ! 
 How happy you make me ! Shall I be able to repay 
 you some day for all the joy you give me ? " 
 
 And I listened to her quiet breathing, saw her 
 transparent, velvety nostrils rising and falling regu- 
 larly, her thick long lashes stirred by almost imper- 
 ceptible movements. I saw the satin-like skin of her 
 little neck, and behind her ear, fresh and pink like 
 the petal of a flower, the soft curls upon the nape of 
 her neck, half hair, half down, sucking in with their 
 greedy roots the sweet juices of this living cream. 
 
 How many beauties and marvels this little body 
 contained ! What will it be then when I enter her 
 mind and heart ; when we shall be able to talk, to 
 think together, and share the same emotions ? What 
 perplexed me was the smile that sometimes, during 
 her slumbers, curled her lips and deepened the dim- 
 ple in her cheek. I asked myself what the cause of
 
 2OO BABOLAIN. 
 
 her amusement could be ? What ideas were forming 
 in that little head ? I would have liked to know all 
 this in order to understand her better, and thereby 
 obtain more complete possession of her heart. One 
 thing is certain, my presence imposed no restraint 
 upon her, and I thanked her for being happy be- 
 fore me. 
 
 Marianne almost always surprised me in the very 
 act of adoration ; it was terrible. I believe the wem- 
 an did it with a certain spice of malice, for where Val- 
 entine was concerned, she was almost as jealous as I. 
 
 " It's quite time for children to be put to bed," 
 she said, entering suddenly. 
 
 " But you'll wake her. Besides, the clock is fast, 
 very fast." And when, having carried my daughter 
 into her room, we began to put on her night-clothes, 
 the discussion was continued in a low tone. Mari- 
 anne charged me with pulling off the buttons, making 
 knots in the strings, committing a thousand blunders, 
 understanding nothing about this kind of work all 
 of which was perfectly true, but I would not admit it, 
 and defended myself as well as I could. 
 
 "Well, the darling will catch a cold on her lungs, 
 if Monsieur spends half an hour in putting on her 
 night-cap." 
 
 It is true that I did not hurry much ; less, however, 
 on account of my awkwardness than from a selfish 
 desire to prolong my happiness. Often I have waked 
 up in the night imagining that I heard her cough 
 pursued incessantly by the idea of a cold on the 
 lungs, with which the nurse was always threatening me. 
 
 Ah ! the happy moments I spent. It must be 
 confessed that I had not wholly forgotten the past ; 
 a curl of my child's hair, a vague resemblance, a 
 gesture, a nothing, made me start, and many wounds 
 re-opened ; but these moments were short, for the 
 charm of my new life calmed the memories of for- 
 mer days by veiling them. I was forgetting myself.
 
 B ABO LAIN. 2O I 
 
 On those dark, damp days when the rain falls in- 
 cessantly, and one grows sulky in spite of himself, I 
 put on my great boots and went to walk in the woods. 
 There, on seeing the new shoots, the plants and 
 trees revived and freshened, strengthened by the life- 
 giving water they drank with delight, thinking of the 
 roots which would inhale 1 moisture and life from the 
 wet soil, I forgot my ill-temper, my dripping gar- 
 ments, the mud through which I was splashing, and 
 smiled at the ugly black clouds. All the created be- 
 ings in the world cannot be happy at the same time. 
 Each in turn has his share of joys and sorrows. 
 There are no useless griefs, for all counterbalance 
 certain joys. Every tear that falls is a dew-drop 
 which will give birth to a smile. It is a great conso- 
 lation, it seems to me, when we are suffering, to say 
 to ourselves : " At this very moment I am giving hap- 
 piness to somebody in the world." 
 
 And then, before cursing anyone or crying out to 
 heaven : " Sorrow, you overwhelm me ! " we should 
 reflect a little, try different positions as the sick do, 
 for there is always one in which the wound becomes 
 endurable. For my part is it an excess of egotism 
 and pride I don't know, but I have often found a 
 charm in examining my pain, studying its details, ob- 
 serving its progress as if from a balcony, opera-glass 
 in hand. 
 
 Months, years elapsed amid the quiet pleasures 
 with which I had filled my life. An imaginary wall was 
 rising between society and myself which grew higher 
 and more impassable day by day. Since I had set- 
 tled in the country, I had not been three times to the 
 town, which inspired me with a sort of terror. Ber- 
 nard himself had forgotten the way to the house, and 
 I knew that the peasants who lived around us consid- 
 ered me an odd stick, a little cracked in the itppet 
 story. For all that, however, they treated me with 
 respect on account of the rain-gauge that appeared
 
 2O2 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 above the hedge, and which was called in the neigh- 
 borhood, the machine for making rain. Meantime 
 Valentine was no longer the child whom one could 
 cradle in one's arms and lull to sleep with a song; 
 she had reached that delicate and charming age 
 when the woman begins to appear in the little girl. 
 By degrees her mother's features began to reveal 
 themselves more clearly in her face ; she had Esther's 
 manners, gestures, and tones. 
 
 At first I was troubled ; not because resentment 
 and hatred awoke in my heart, but, on the contrary, 
 the memory of the illusions, the delicious raptures I 
 had enjoyed. However thick the dike with which we 
 protect ourselves may be, a moment comes when the 
 water oozes through and penetrates it. Past delights 
 have echoes which continue to sound. If I had known 
 how to understand my wife better, how many sor- 
 rows I might have escaped ! Perhaps nature had 
 made her as good as she was beautiful. Sometimes 
 proofs of her goodness and beauty, blending togeth- 
 er, assailed me in throngs. Ah ! if I could but com- 
 mence life anew. 
 
 While I was thinking over all this, another source 
 of anxiety was gaining upon me. Valentine had cu- 
 rious ideas I could not explain, little coquettish ways, 
 refined womanly manners that awed me ; and the pos- 
 sibility of exchanging our thoughts and feelings, 
 which had been the brightest of promises, now ter- 
 rified me. I found her too intelligent; I felt that I 
 had a watchful, inquisitive, subtle judge, who would 
 soon allow nothing to escape notice, and I already saw 
 impending jeers involuntary, inoffensive jeers 
 which I should never think of imputing to her as a 
 crime ; poor child, could she help being lively and 
 witty ! From this time forth I watched myself more 
 scrupulously than ever, that I might not make a ges- 
 ture, utter a word, that could displease her. I knew by 
 experience what a piece of awkwardness or a blun-
 
 BABOLAIN. 2O3 
 
 der may cost. The point in question now was not to 
 compromise the future to calculate in advance the 
 probable consequences of my slightest actions, to 
 compel her to love me, to make her happy, to watch 
 her tastes, to understand her nature. 
 
 Sometimes, treating her like a little woman, I 
 asked her advice, appealed to her experience. During 
 our walks I told her of my feelings, invited her to 
 dream with me then remembering her age, and 
 trembling lest I had committed some imprudence, 
 hastily retraced my steps and energetically began 
 some purely imaginative story, full of the broad fun 
 children like. Strange, she remained grave and 
 silent, watching me with an earnestness that put me 
 out of countenance ; I sought for words, my senten- 
 ces became confused, I felt that my gestures had no 
 connection with what I wanted to say, I was conscious 
 of being pitiably involved ; and she, after having no- 
 ticed all this, withdrew her hand from mine, murmur- 
 ing : " Oh ! dear, that's so tiresome." 
 
 This confession gave me actual pain, and yet I 
 could not help admiring the touching cruelty of chil- 
 dren, who, careless of consequences, always say not 
 only what they think, but all they think. I said to 
 myself : " Valentine has a mind beyond her years ; 
 she will be a woman of great intelligence, like her 
 mother !" I ought to have understood all this at once. 
 Her mind needs more solid food. The time has 
 come to instruct while amusing her ; yes, I must do it ; 
 I am responsible to society and my own conscience. 
 This thought thoroughly delighted me, both as fa- 
 ther and professor. I was in my element ; the toil- 
 some years of my youth, my former triumphs, returned 
 to my mind, and I was grateful to her who had indi- 
 rectly awakened these memories. I reflected deeply, 
 and as I considered that the most precious treasure 
 in life is the faculty of judging with accuracy, and an- 
 alyzing everything, I determined to commence my
 
 2O4 BABOLAIN. 
 
 daughter's education by the study of the natural sci- 
 ences. Although I always sought for some ingenious 
 excuse for instructing her, I was perhaps wrong in 
 pursuing my course of teaching too closely. 
 
 If, for instance, I wanted to take Valentine to the 
 bank of the river, far from imposing my will upon 
 her, I sought by skill and gentleness to arouse in her 
 mind a desire to go there. Then I improvised ex- 
 cuses to the best of my ability ; now it was a butter- 
 fly to be caught, then a little farther on a huge straw- 
 berry to pluck ; and by going from butterfly to straw- 
 berry, from strawberry to butterfly, we reached the 
 bank of the river. Then by a skilful jerk, made 
 without her notice, I threw my straw hat into the 
 water. 
 
 " Oh ! dear, my hat has fallen into the river," I 
 cried, trying to give the exclamation a tone of real 
 astonishment. When she had stopped laughing, I 
 continued, for I had my object : " There, see my hat 
 float away, darling. Why does it float away ? " I 
 walked on a few steps, and fished it out with a stick. 
 Then, my premises being established, I thought my- 
 self certain of the result, and said boldly, taking her 
 by the hand : 
 
 " I am sure you have been wondering why my hat 
 floated away from us ? " 
 
 " No, papa, I don't care." 
 
 " Ah ! you haven't wondered about that ! But 
 you won't be any less glad to know, for you are a lit- 
 tle girl who wants to learn : hum-hum. The cause 
 of this phenomenon, my dear, is the force of gravity. 
 You are going to say : ' What ! papa, does the force 
 of gravity make the river flow?'" Uy this means I 
 tried to give my demonstration a little animation and 
 life. 
 
 " I haven't said anything at all," murmured the 
 little witch, pulling me towards the strawberries. 
 
 " You haven't said it, but you thought it, my love ;
 
 BABOLAIN. 
 
 205 
 
 and really it isn't easy to understand. You must im- 
 agine, in the first place, that there is a force in the 
 middle of the earth that attracts everything on its 
 surface : the stones, the trees, the men, the houses, 
 the" 
 
 " Papa, the strawberries." 
 
 " Yes, my -daughter. We say bodies are heavy 
 because when we want to lift them we have to strug- 
 gle with the force which we call grav-i-ty. Now I 
 have finished my story ; isn't that very curious ? " 
 
 " No, papa." 
 
 " Now the water in the river, like all other bodies, 
 is subject to the action of gravity; and you will un- 
 derstand in an instant why my hat " 
 
 " But, papa, what difference does it make, so long 
 as you've caught it again ? " 
 
 " Of course, but " Should I persist or keep si- 
 lent ? It is true that by continuing I was, thanks to 
 an accidental circumstance, engraving upon her mem- 
 ory a valuable scientific idea; but on the other hand, 
 should I not fatigue and annoy her by making too 
 prolonged a claim upon her attention ? And as Val- 
 entine pulled me nearer and nearer to the strawber- 
 ries, a sudden inspiration came to me. I gathered 
 one, and holding it carefully between my fingers by 
 the fragile stalk, said : " Even this fruit is subject to 
 the laws of gravity ; and a proof of it is, that if I drop 
 it, it will make every effort to go towards the cen- 
 tre of the earth which attracts it. In fact, you see I 
 open my fingers and leave the fruit to itself what 
 does it do ? It falls" 
 
 Unluckily I could not finish my sentence, for Val- 
 entine, with a bound, hastily snatched the strawberry 
 and ate it, laughing heartily. 
 
 " It won't do to insist," I thought to myself; " to 
 insist would be to compromise the future. I have 
 been imprudent ; I went to work the wrong way. 
 It's really fortunate she stopped me by her roguish
 
 2O6 BABOLAIN. 
 
 prank, for I might perhaps have forever deprived the 
 wonderful principles of gravity of all poetry. What 
 can be more attractive to a young mind than to raise 
 the veil which conceals these great laws of the uni- 
 verse ? Another time I will prepare my exordium 
 more carefully, and find a more roundabout way 
 of entering upon the subject." 
 
 Meantime it became evident that my daughter 
 was resolutely determined to avoid our instructive 
 conversations. It was useless for me to divide my 
 pills into the smallest possible fragments and wrap 
 each in the most fragrant honey; the child smelt the 
 drug and fled at full speed. In vain did I beg and 
 entreat her; in vain did I show her glimpses of the 
 poetic side of human knowledge all was useless. 
 She did not recover her usual good-humor until she 
 was set at liberty, and could rejoin her nurse and 
 help her pick beans, or spread the clothes upon the 
 hedges in the kitchen garden. Yet 1 had a mission, 
 a duty to fulfil; what was to be done? I followed 
 her with a sorrowful gaze as she made her escape 
 and ran into the sunlight; I shivered as I heard the 
 sound of her laugh, and grew more and more jealous 
 of the fat peasant woman with the red nose and mer- 
 ry eyes, who, without any effort, knew how to make 
 herself beloved. 1 bore her a grudge for being mer- 
 ry, cheerful, faithful ; for having given my child every 
 proof of affection ; I grudged her the privilege of 
 dressing her every morning, of braiding her fair silk- 
 en hair, which I would so gladly have dressed if I 
 had been allowed ; I hated her because she made 
 the cherry tarts of which Valentine was fond in 
 short, I was jealous, and suffered deeply. " 1 have 
 base feelings," I said to myself ; "and if this Mari- 
 anne, ignorant and superstitious as she was, should 
 have a baneful influence over my child, would it 
 not be my duty to send her away ? " 
 
 And suddenly calming myself, I added: "I have
 
 BABOLAIN. 207 
 
 not even the courage to be frank with myself. I 
 slander the best of women because she is loved and 
 I am not." 
 
 Yet my daughter was really very much attached 
 to me ; I knew it by the love I felt for her. My awk- 
 wardness was the sole obstacle between us. I had 
 never known how to go to work the right way. 
 
 Since that time I have analyzed all this, and col- 
 lected many ideas which would have been useful if I 
 had had them before. The little women we call young 
 girls are assailed by a thousand capricious fancies, a 
 thousand indefinable whims, against which they can 
 struggle only by trusting themselves to a mind they 
 know to be destitute of weaknesses. They are grate- 
 ful to the energetic person who compels them to 
 come out of themselves, and delivers them from the 
 notions that have taken possession of their minds. 
 
 How many times they pursue with their persist- 
 ent caprices the man who loves them in order to 
 put him to the test to feel their way. It is not 
 that they wish to make game of him. Their conduct 
 is instinctive ; is it not* natural to test the firmness 
 of a stick before one leans upon it ! How well they 
 know that their great desires are extravagant, their 
 temptations inadmissible; and how humiliated and 
 lonely they feel when through weakness people ap- 
 prove of them when a frank refusal would deliver 
 them ! They do not seek a master, but an infallible 
 friend to choose and cull from amid tKe confused 
 mass of their fleeting impressions. 
 
 I had never had the strength to be this friend. 
 Even on the unlucky days when Valentine persisted 
 in not understanding an explanation twenty times re- 
 peated, the tone of my voice never expressed impa- 
 tience ; it was my way of loving her. I had never 
 known how to manifest my affection except by sur- 
 rounding her with an atmosphere of patience and 
 gentleness, making her hours equally pleasant and
 
 2O8 BABOLAIN. 
 
 happy ; so that my little darling's position was like 
 that of a person living on the banks of those pure, 
 tranquil lakes which one cannot look at long without 
 feeling a desire to trouble their calmness by throwing 
 a stone into their depths. My patience, which some- 
 what too nearly resembled docility, irritated her ; she 
 felt her mischievous mood increase in proportion as 
 I deprived her of excuses for manifesting it. She 
 was tempted to get the better of my gentleness, which 
 she had never seen exhausted : curiosity soon min- 
 gled with the wish, and she became very naughty ; the 
 poor darling was aware of it, and the vexation she 
 felt increased her ill-humor. She could not help it ; 
 why did we not check it? Why did we not assert au- 
 thority over her ? Was it her fault ? 
 
 Dissatisfied with herself, she was angry with oth- 
 ers, which was very natural ; we always seek for the 
 root of the ill weeds that spring up in us, in our 
 neighbors' homes. She loved me, undoubtedly, but 
 it was with a somewhat compassionate tenderness, 
 for she knew too well that my fate was in her little 
 hands. 
 
 And then my caresses were never given at the 
 right moment. Nothing is more cavalierly received 
 than a kiss that is not wanted; and even a guardian 
 angel, who conversed with his protege' every instant 
 in the day about his future plans and his solici- 
 tude, would become very wearisome in a short time. 
 I understood all this afterwards. 
 
 IJoth large and small children easily become in- 
 toxicated with what is arbitrary, and the difference 
 between the possible and impossible soon vanishes 
 entirely. My Valentine set her pretty little foot in 
 this path. She commanded, ordered, regulated ev- 
 erything in the house ; but her voice was so well mod- 
 ulated, she was so charming in her role of mistress 
 it was a pleasure to bend one's neck to her yoke. 
 " How precocious," I thought ; " she does whatever she
 
 B ABO LAIN. 2O9 
 
 chooses with us ! What clearness in her ideas, what 
 precision of sight ! She has a critical judgment, and 
 no timidity, no indecision the two defects she might 
 have inherited from me, and from which I had suf- 
 fered so much." It was very natural that, being gifted 
 in this exceptional manner, she should like to give 
 orders, to have them executed promptly, to prove 
 her evident superiority. I loved even the impatient 
 words and little fits of temper that made my beloved 
 daughter's eyes sparkle more brightly, and deepened 
 the color in her cheek. Her way of making the 
 boards in the floor creak startled me ; it was no mere 
 noise, but music whose echo charmed my ear long 
 after it had ceased. My child's beauty so vividly re- 
 called her mother's, that at times, when absorbed in 
 reverie, Esther and Valentine became merged into 
 one person ; the present, the past, and the future 
 blended together. In the depths of my heart I felt 
 deep sorrow or extravagant joy over the merest tri- 
 fles ', and thus concentrating my whole existence 
 upon a single thought, strove to render the hermit- 
 like existence in which the whole world was con- 
 tained to me, more narrow still. 
 
 One day when I was putting my grapes into bags, 
 Marianne informed me that the cure of Favras want- 
 ed to speak to me. I was greatly surprised, for no 
 one ever came to the house, and there must be some 
 important reason to bring the priest to my door. I 
 had scarcely descended the ladder when I saw Mon- 
 sieur le cure himself coming down the walk towards 
 me. He was a very affable man, with a smiling face, 
 and, seeming touched as he perceived my embarrass- 
 ment, bowed very courteously. 
 
 " Monsieur," said he, " pray excuse the step I 
 have taken if it is intrusive, but I thought it my duty 
 to come and request a moment's conversation with 
 you." 
 
 Then with great caution and kindness he spoke 
 14
 
 2IO B ABO LAIN. 
 
 of Valentine, whom he had seen several times, praised 
 her grace, her personal charms, and the moral quali- 
 ties of which these external attractions must be 
 merely the expression. 
 
 What was he driving at ? What did it matter to 
 him whether my child was charming or disagreeable, 
 beautiful or pretty? He spoke of the sympathy and 
 admiration the inhabitants of the town felt for her, 
 and also the sorrowful surprise caused by the strange 
 solitude to which the poor little girl seemed to be 
 condemned : there were duties parents could not es- 
 cape ; the society and friendship of other children 
 was an inevitable necessity ; and religious instruction, 
 so long withheld from Valentine, was a benefit of 
 which she could not be deprived without positive 
 crime. Seeing the impression his words made, the 
 priest, while redoubling the affability of his manner, 
 spoke to me more plainly, and 1 learned that the peo- 
 ple in the neighborhood considered me a monstrous 
 being, a detestable tyrant, and he himself had obeyed 
 the indignation of the whole town in paying me this 
 visit. 
 
 " But Monsieur le cure"," said I with deep emo- 
 tion, for I felt myself threatened with a great danger, 
 " I have never had but one thought, to make my 
 daughter happy she is still a mere child ; she is 
 dear me, I don't know her age exactly, but she is a 
 child 1 assure you we have been so happy. You 
 can't imagine how pleasant our life is, she would tell 
 you so herself." 
 
 " Take care that your somewhat too jealous affec- 
 tion does not seem blind egotism to the eyes of the 
 malevolent. In fact, might not people believe that in 
 imposing so unusual a life upon your dear child, you 
 think more of gratifying your own tastes than of se- 
 curing her happiness ?" 
 
 I remained silent for a long time ; many old sor- 
 rows awoke, a veil was suddenly torn, and the proof
 
 BABOLAIN. 211 
 
 appeared as clear and cruel as a sword. No longer 
 able to control myself, I took the priest's hands in 
 mine, and said with a tone of despairing frankness : 
 
 " Yes, Monsieur, you are right : I think only of 
 myself, I have never thought of any one else : I am a 
 bad father as I was a bad husband. I feel, I see it." 
 
 " Calm yourself, my dear Monsieur Babolain, I 
 have doubtless expressed my meaning badly ; forgive 
 me for causing this grief." 
 
 " Let me tell you all, I beg of you ; at heart I am 
 neither a hypocrite nor a liar. My selfishness is so 
 deeply rooted that I am usually unaware of it; I am 
 a wretched man ; scorn me, you think me a pitiful 
 object, do you not ? And yet, in the course of my life, 
 I have had every chance of happiness, but alas ! I 
 have ruined, withered every thing around me, and 
 wished to condemn my child to breathe the same air, 
 although I love her most devotedly. Oh ! God, if I 
 must always be a source of trouble to her, always 
 bring misfortune upon her, it would perhaps be bet- 
 ter to kill myself." 
 
 "Those are terrible words and ought not to have 
 come from the lips of a father, a scientific man, a 
 philosopher, even if the philosopher were not a 
 Christian." 
 
 " It is because I know what I am, Monsieur le 
 cureM I suffer cruelly, and I feel that my sufferings are 
 deserved ; that is all. Then the people in the town 
 know that my daughter also seeks to fly from me, to 
 shun me ? They know she instinctively recoils from 
 me as from a wretch who ought never to have been 
 born." 
 
 The good cur6 was an excellent man. He offered 
 me his friendship, entreated me to have confidence 
 in him, and promised that if I would allow him to 
 take charge of Valentine he would make her the 
 gentlest, most affectionate of daughters, bind the ties 
 that united me to her still more closely, and destroy
 
 212 BAB OLA IN. 
 
 the bad opinion of me prevalent in the neighbor- 
 hood. He made the acts my duty imposed perfectly 
 clear, and assured me that he would find means to 
 render them easy. In short, he possessed such per- 
 suasive eloquence, gentleness and goodness, that I 
 gratefully consented to everything. 
 
 " It's because I have never been separated from 
 her, Monsieur le cure," I murmured, as I took leave 
 of him. " She really loves me I say it without pride 
 too long an absence would be painful to her al- 
 though perhaps she would not venture to acknowl- 
 edge it. And then, if the roads should be damp, if it 
 should rain, her little feet her throat has always 
 been delicate, Monsieur le cur6." 
 
 " Oh ! of course, of course. Do you suppose we 
 would expose your daughter to a fit of sickness ? 
 If the weather is bad, a carriage will come for her 
 and bring her back; ten people in the town, beginning 
 with myself, will be happy to do her this little ser- 
 vice." 
 
 " Isn't the church too cold ? " 
 
 " We will have a foot stove ; we must take care 
 of both body and soul, ha ! ha ! ha ! mens sana 
 Good-bye, my dear Monsieur Babolain." 
 
 The first time Valentine left the house to go to 
 the catechism class, accompanied by Marianne, I 
 followed her with my eyes a long time. I had given 
 her careful directions early in the morning, and put 
 in her pocket a silk handkerchief, a piece of choco- 
 late, and three gum balls. When I saw her merry 
 and talkative, selecting her prettiest ribbon to fasten 
 her braids, her freshest dress, her most becoming hat, 
 bursting into shouts of laughter and bowing to her- 
 self in the glass, I tried to be gay that 1 might not 
 dam]) her joy. J'ut now that I was alone and watch- 
 ed her going down the path, 1 felt a keen pang in 
 my heart. "Alas! this is the beginning," I thought, 
 " the wings are unfolded ; she is Hying away, she is
 
 BABOLAIN. 213 
 
 leaving me, and this separation seems to her a deliv- 
 erance. She does not know how to conceal her 
 feelings, dear little thing. I wearied her, made her 
 unhappy, everybody noticed it except myself. Who, 
 since the hour I was born, has ever been able to en- 
 dure my society without complaint ? I could still see 
 her blue dress gleaming in the sunlight as she cross- 
 ed the fields, her straw hat relieved against the green 
 hedges, and her little white legs bounding gayly 
 along. No doubt she will turn at the corner of the 
 path to wave her hand to me will she turn ? It 
 would be so. little trouble." 
 
 She did not think of it. Still skipping merrily on, 
 she continued her way and disappeared. 
 
 " It is a law of nature," I thought, " that each has 
 his share of individuality; what right have I over 
 her ? Because I am cold, is it any reason why I 
 should take her warmth ? Ought I to strengthen my 
 old withered body with her young red blood, stimu- 
 late my old age with her gayety, her youth, her illu- 
 sions ? She owes me nothing, it is I who am her 
 debtor. In exacting a smile I take advantage of her, 
 I rob her, I am happy at her expense, I stifle, crush 
 her. If you can only live by clinging to this young 
 branch, cease to be harmful and parasitical, fall to 
 the ground and at least fertilize the soil, cease to be 
 somebody and become something." Could I be com- 
 mitting the folly of complaining ? Does the seed the 
 wind bears away and places on a barren soil com- 
 plain of its fate and envy the other seed which grows 
 in the next field ? Is not the law that condemns one 
 being to die without issue, and another to leave de- 
 scendants, that makes one handsome and gay, anoth- 
 er ugly and sad, a wise and salutary one ? Nothing 
 is useless in this world ; the grain of dust that whirls 
 through the air is no more given up to chance than 
 the planets that revolve through space. Have I ever 
 complained that an equation was inflexible and un-
 
 214 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 yielding ? Well ! what are the beings who think of 
 vegetate ; what are the things that transform their 
 shapes, blend together, and succeed each other, but 
 the innumerable terms of the supreme equation of 
 whose unknown quantity we are ignorant ? Is it not 
 something, after all, to feel one's self a necessary 
 atom in the progress of the great problem, to prove 
 that one's own sorrows are not the result of a caprice 
 or fancy, but the inevitable and sublime consequence 
 of the divine law that governs us all ? 
 
 I looked at my watch it was an age since Valen- 
 tine had left me. If only there were no draughts of 
 air in the church ! How agitated and troubled she 
 must be among all those strange faces ! They must 
 have overwhelmed her with intrusive questions, and 
 she was so delicate, so sensitive. What is she doing 
 now ? Perhaps she will come home with tears in her 
 eyes have I not been cruel in exposing her to this 
 trial ? For my part, I should have liked to have her 
 return with a swelling heart, cured forever of all lik- 
 ing for the town and its happiness. But no such 
 thing happened. The doctor brought her back him- 
 self with a pair of horses, and when my daughter 
 sprang to the ground, her eyes were sparkling, her 
 cheeks flushed, and her lips bright with smiles. 
 
 " You see, my friend, I bring her back in good 
 health," said Bernard, clapping me kindly on the 
 shoulder. " Ah ! I owed you a grudge for your shy- 
 ness, but we'll say no more about it. Your Valentine 
 is a charming creature, and has taken Favras by 
 storm. No one could be more graceful and attract- 
 ive, and besides she is as pretty as an angel. We 
 won't say that too loud, although I fancy the revela- 
 tion wouldn't surprise her very much." 
 
 "Indeed! did they really think her charming?" 
 I forced a smile, for these praises caused me both 
 pleasure and pain. My child's admirers were so 
 many intruders forcing themselves between myself
 
 BABOLAIN. 21$ 
 
 and her. Now she would make exertions to please 
 these people. From this day forth Valentine was 
 suddenly transformed. Always merry and good hu- 
 mored, she sang, danced, eat with an appetite she 
 had never had before, told us the news and tittle-tat- 
 tle of the town in such a comical way that Marianne, 
 suddenly overwhelmed with mirth, broke the dishes. 
 She drew this one's portrait, imitated the other's 
 voice, related the attentions of which she had been the 
 obj ect. I thought that she had a great deal of intellect, 
 that she was made to shine and please, and that I 
 should perhaps witness her triumphs. While she 
 was continuing her pranks- 1 watched her with a sor- 
 rowful glance, until throwing her arms around my 
 neck she would cry : " Dance with me, papa," and 
 there was no resisting her ; I was obliged to raise 
 my dressing gown, and shy, ridiculous, yet happy, 
 begin to dance. 
 
 I fixed my mind upon it, but my lips murmured 
 in a low tone, one, two, three, while she hummed the 
 air of a waltz, bent her graceful figure, turned her 
 head aside and smiled at the glass. 
 
 As the good cure of Favras had told me, my 
 dear daughter's fits of impatience, disobedience and 
 rebellion, gradually disappeared. It is true that, van- 
 quished, overwhelmed by the unaccustomed tokens of 
 affection she lavished upon me, I no longer dared to 
 open my lips, asking nothing, accepting everything, 
 allowing the last fragments of my authority to crum- 
 ble away, while I enjoyed to the best of my ability 
 the quick, constant caresses with which she seemed 
 to pay for her independence. 
 
 I knew these threads of gold and silk with which 
 I was surrounded were so many bonds that would par- 
 alyze and reduce me to obedience, but what did it 
 matter ? She was obliged to busy herself about me 
 in order to hold me captive ; it was necessary that her 
 little hand should constantly draw these threads and
 
 5l6 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 flutter around me, and all these attentions bore so 
 close a resemblance to affection. Besides, I said to 
 myself: " Since I am incapable of guiding her, I 
 ought to frankly confess my helplessness and submit 
 to the consequences. I must keep in the background ; 
 what have I to teach her ? It is ridiculous to wish 
 to inoculate her by force with my ideas and theories, 
 which I know are detestable. She is a woman al- 
 ready and I must respect her individuality in every- 
 thing. So I yielded what had long since been snatch- 
 ed away from me. How many sovereigns, when violent- 
 ly expelled by their subjects, write in exile their act of 
 abdication, and give themselves the consolation of 
 disposing of a crown which was shattered upon their 
 heads. 
 
 Already sure of her own power, Valentine as- 
 sumed the reins of government and soon had her re- 
 lations, her habits, made herself a mode of life apart 
 from mine, and was amazed that I should remain as 
 if overlooked, cowering in my corner. She was right, 
 for I cut a sorry figure. She scolded me about the 
 old-fashioned cut of my clothes, she did not want to 
 have to blush for her father, required him to be in 
 the present style, to wear fresh gloves, to become 
 foppish and when I answered smiling : " What is 
 the use, my darling!" she had an impatient, witty, 
 charming way of answering : 
 
 " Your opinion isn't asked, Monsieur. Oh! how 
 unfortunate it is to have an obstinate papa." 
 
 " You are laughing at me, don't you know I do 
 everything you wish ? " 
 
 She became serious, and began to read silently in 
 a corner like a very submissive little girl who has just 
 borne an unjust reproof. 1 said to myself, looking at 
 her out of the corner of my eye, " 1 have wounded 
 her unintentionally; of course she misunderstood my 
 words, I really seemed to be reproaching her for the 
 influence she has over me." I tried to find some pre-
 
 BABOLAIN. 217 
 
 text for resuming the conversation, and soon mur- 
 mured with the awkwardness of a man whose con- 
 science is not quite clear : 
 
 "Valentine, my daughter, what are you going to 
 have for dinner this evening?" 
 
 " I don't know." 
 
 " Are you vexed, my little Valentine ? " 
 
 " I have no right to judge my father's conduct. 
 People can suffer without complaining," she said with 
 the tone of a woman of thirty, " and I do not com- 
 plain." 
 
 " I make you suffer, my child ! You are not speak- 
 ing seriously. You didn't understand me, you mis- 
 understood me, I assure you." I kissed her hands 
 and added in a low tone : " You know very well I 
 love you more than my life, more than everything. It 
 is true, my little angel, it is perfectly true. Won't 
 you smile upon your awkward old father, who is con- 
 stantly doing foolish things without meaning it?" 
 
 " Well, yes, I am angry, because I am always 
 alone like an orphan, because people never see you 
 in town and must think you hate me." 
 
 " Who told you that ? Who is the wretch who told 
 you that ? oh ! " 
 
 " Dear me, parents are generally glad to go with 
 their children, to witness their little triumphs the 
 other day in the procession, I cried." 
 
 " You, my darling, you wept, wept in the proces- 
 sion." 
 
 " Of course, for I said to myself : ' If my father 
 loved me, he would be near me.' And then when 
 everybody came up to congratulate me because I sang 
 well I was still more sad." 
 
 " I will go with you," I said suddenly. " Not love 
 you ? You an orphan ! Never say that word." It 
 seemed as if I heard my wife sobbing and calling me 
 to an account for my conduct. " No one is loved 
 more fondly than you, my darling. Oh ! I'll go, I'll
 
 7 1 8 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 go with you everywhere now. An orphan ! I was 
 afraid of being in your way. And then I am a little 
 awkward you know. I see what must be done, I 
 know how to give myself orders, but I have great dif- 
 ficulty in obeying. What is very natural to others is 
 not always so to me. I tell you this that you may be 
 indulgent, my little pet. You will hear a great many 
 things said of me. People have judged me severely 
 with good reason, but don't form an opinion of your 
 father hastily,my love, I beg of you I have had many 
 little obstacles in my life I'll tell you all about it 
 some day don't judge me until you know me. When 
 you don't understand me, say without fear : ' Papa, 
 why do you think so, why do you do that ? It's an er- 
 ror, papa, you are mistaken, you have your old ideas 
 again.' It will give me so much pleasure if you will 
 treat me as a friend. I shall have such happiness in 
 confiding my thoughts to you. You will never say 
 again that you are you know, the ugly word you 
 used just now." 
 
 "Then you will come to mass on Sunday?" 
 " Yes, yes, my daughter, wherever you wish, to ves- 
 pers too, everywhere." 
 
 " You'll take me to the doctor's fete ? " 
 
 " What fete ? Will there be many people 
 there ? " 
 
 " Don't you know that Monsieur Bernard is going 
 to give a breakfast at the mill for his son, who has 
 come to spend his vacation here ? " 
 
 " True, this is August. Well, we'll go and break- 
 fast at the mill if you wish. We won't be parted from 
 each other again. Will it really please you ? " 
 
 "Of course it will." 
 
 " How good you are, my child, if you only knew 
 what happiness you cause me ! " 
 
 " You'll go to Blois to buy some gloves ? " 
 
 " That is true, gloves. You think I neglect my- 
 self, don't you ? "
 
 B ABO LAIN. 219 
 
 " It is God's will that we should pay a little atten- 
 tion to our dress when we go to His house." 
 
 " We must not offend God. I will get some nice 
 gloves." 
 
 " Yellow ones ; and patent leather boots ; all the 
 gentlemen have them. You will be able to have your 
 hair cut at the same time, papa and bring me my 
 dress from the dress-maker's, you know, on the main 
 street. People generally think your daughter tolera- 
 bly pretty, Monsieur papa, and you will only be do- 
 ing your duty if you go to a little expense to act as 
 her cavalier." 
 
 " Of course ; especially if I please God at the 
 same time. Do you want me to kiss you now ?" 
 
 " I have a great mind to refuse you for your im- 
 piety." 
 
 It seems that my appearance in the town pro- 
 duced a sensation. I have learned since that Mari- 
 anne was eagerly questioned about all the particulars 
 of my conversion. Had I seen a spectre, had I con- 
 fessed, did I keep the rogation days, how did I con- 
 duct myself at Easter ? All that time I was very far 
 from thinking that my actions could excite curiosity 
 to such a degree. 
 
 When I saw my Valentine in public, surrounded 
 and petted ; when I perceived the attention her beauty, 
 grace and wit procured ; when I even felt, so to speak, 
 the foam that dashed from it myself I was agitated as 
 I had been during the most solemn days of my life. 
 I had never seen my child under such circumstances. 
 I was terrified, and yet at the same time experienced 
 a sensation of pride, wholly new to me ; I was the 
 father of a brilliant, charming young girl, whom 
 everybody admired. The ladies surrounded her, 
 praised her good taste, the beauty of her dress, the 
 graceful way in which she arranged her hair. The 
 gentlemen, the doctor's son at their head, little Jo- 
 seph whom I had known as a child, crowded about
 
 22O BABOLAIN. 
 
 her, bowed to her respectfully, spoke to her with an 
 eagerness which clearly proved their enthusiasm ; 
 while she, suddenly transformed, responded to every- 
 thing with wonderful grace and ease, accepting the 
 homage as perfectly natural. 
 
 I stood before her and devoured her with my 
 eyes. It was my daughter, she was mine, and I could 
 not conquer this feeling of possession. If she smiled 
 I smiled too ; I instinctively repeated her gestures and 
 thanked her with a look when people complimented 
 her. 
 
 When this first moment was over, it seemed as if 
 people were not paying me sufficient attention. So 
 they did not remember that we were united by the 
 strongest ties in the world. I should have accepted 
 half her triumph without either embarrassment or 
 timidity. My daughter, after all, was myself. True, 
 all these people were on terms of far closer intimacy 
 with her than I had ever been. This was a very sur- 
 prising misunderstanding. Perhaps, from motives of 
 delicacy, she had wished to remain a child at home, 
 that familiarity might be rendered easier. She had 
 feared that I might he intimidated if I saw her be- 
 coming a woman. I'm such an odd stick, and she is so 
 observant. 
 
 A feverish restlessness took possession of me. I 
 too wished to make a part of this privileged public on 
 which she smiled; to cease to be the timid, trembling 
 little old man for whom she must blush. Henceforth I 
 must keep my place, show myself worthy of her, and 
 forgetting the obstacles against which I had so often 
 jostled, driving away all fear, I threw myself head 
 foremost into the pleasures of the town as a gay man 
 plunges into the infernal whirlpool of worldly dissi- 
 pation. From that time, I mingled in every conversa- 
 tion with my little rasping voice, bustled about, 
 elbowed my way, interrupted everybody, and the con- 
 straint I imposed upon myself in order to play a part
 
 B ABO LAIN. 221 
 
 so far beyond my powers, increased my excitement. 
 By degrees I persuaded myself that in this desperate 
 contest I was righting for my daughter, for her hap- 
 piness, defending her from the attacks of those who 
 surrounded her. I was no longer conscious of my own 
 absurdity; the opinions of other people made very 
 little difference, and I would have intentionally com- 
 mitted the wildest extravagance to make Valentine 
 turn her eyes towards me, and notice my presence. 
 
 " You are talking a great deal, father," she mur- 
 mured as she passed, " are you not afraid of getting 
 tired ? " 
 
 I made every effort to resume the character of a 
 discreet and silent father, but if Joseph (I cordially 
 hated him) approached my daughter and made the 
 simplest remark, I forgot all caution, sprang towards 
 my child, drew myself up in fighting trim, clung to 
 her despairingly. " What fly is stinging you now, my 
 good fellow," cried Doctor Bernard, laughing. " Devil 
 take it, we must give way to the young people ; let 
 your daughter alone and come and play a game of 
 billiards." 
 
 I obeyed, but I confounded the red with the 
 white, took the cue by the small end, looked out of 
 the window every moment, and, at last, pleading a 
 headache, made my escape. 
 
 In the midst of my foolishness I tried to analyze 
 my feelings, but it was impossible for me to fix my 
 attention ; Valentine filled my horizon, and while 
 wishing to study myself, I drowned all personality in 
 watching my child. My affection was strangely 
 changed ; it was now mingled with a shade of bitter- 
 ness that intoxicated me. Several times I resolved 
 to leave the country suddenly, and undoubtedly 
 should have done so if it had not been for the fear 
 of Valentine's accusing me of despotism or tyranny. 
 
 Fortunately, winter was approaching ; Joseph had 
 just returned to Paris to pursue his medical studies ;
 
 222 BAB OLA fN. 
 
 many people who merely lived in Favras, or its 
 suburbs, during the summer, had also disappeared ; 
 and the town, being thus reduced to its own resources, 
 resumed its ordinary aspect and little every-day 
 customs. 
 
 I ^breathed freely again ; my daughter was re- 
 stored ; the storm was retreating; I no longer had 
 any rivals. I smiled as I looked at the huge supply 
 of wood which was to render our retreat warmer, our 
 intercourse pleasanter. My great care was to make 
 the house attractive to her. I had a little hollow dug 
 in the garden, which was to be filled with aquatic 
 plants ; I surprised her with a new set of furniture 
 for her room a piece of extravagance, for my income 
 was very small, but what sacrifice of money would I 
 not have made to recall the smile to her lips ! Alas ! 
 all my efforts were vain ; it seemed as if she was 
 exiled. Often while we were talking together in the 
 chimney corner, she suddenly left the room, wrapped 
 herself in her shawl, and, in spite of the wind and 
 cold, went to the upper part of the garden, from 
 whence one could see the plain, bordered in the dis- 
 tance by the forest, and remained there motionless 
 with her eyes fixed on the large clouds the wind 
 drove across the sky. 
 
 She had taken a dislike to the rest of the garden, 
 the rain-gauge, and the weathercock, the little groves, 
 the sun-dial, the rustic kiosk I had built myself, a 
 charming little affair; everything irritated her nerves, 
 J know not why ; yet this was the part of the grounds 
 where she had played and laughed during her whole 
 childhood. 
 
 " 1 want room," she said in a choked voice, "the 
 mind needs it as well as the eyes, and 1 hate com- 
 mon-place things." 
 
 On the days when the owners of the neighboring 
 chateau hunted in the forest I was sure to find her 
 at her post about sunset.
 
 BABOLAIN-. 223 
 
 She started at my approach, and we watched the 
 horsemen, the whippers-in, and the pack pass by. 
 When the horns sounded the call to the dogs, her 
 face brightened. "They are happy people," said 
 she, " to be able to gallop all day long upon a horse 
 that goes like the wind, and never gets tired." 
 
 " There are pleasures for every purse, my child, 
 and little nobodies, like ourselves " 
 
 " Oh ! I know what we are very well," she mur- 
 mured with an expression of repressed suffering. 
 
 One day I surprised her standing in my room be- 
 fore the little portrait of my wife, which I had hung 
 near the glass some time before. 
 
 When I entered she went hastily away, but it 
 seemed to me that her eyes were wet. So she had 
 guessed that past which I had never dared to confide 
 to her. She must be informed of it some day, but 
 when should I have the courage to tell her all ? 
 From the hour I supposed she knew the whole I 
 avoided her glance as I would have that of a judge ; 
 I scarcely dared to speak to her, and her coldness 
 towards me visibly increased. I was very unhappy, 
 but she suffered too. By the expression of her face, 
 her step, the few words that fell from her lips, a 
 thousand trifles, I saw that she considered herself the 
 victim of a fatality which I could not understand. 
 Suddenly religious observances assumed a marked 
 importance in Valentine's life ; and I rejoiced, for I 
 thought she would find consolation. 
 
 Under her influence the social gatherings in the 
 town assumed a graver character ; cards were usually 
 excluded and replaced by the performance of sacred 
 music or the reading of some classical masterpiece. 
 The evening seemed particularly long at the notary's, 
 who, being gouty, liked to preside in his arm-chair, 
 with his leg resting on a support. People sat around 
 him in a circle, each with a small rug under his feet. 
 The master of the house maintained the arrangement
 
 224 BABOLAIN. 
 
 by a smile or a polite wave of the hand, and I caught 
 Valentine steadily watching the candles which per- 
 sisted in not burning down. 
 
 Sometimes Doctor Bernard, who continued to be 
 the busiest man in the neighborhood, suddenly 
 arrived. We heard the noise of his carriage rolling 
 over the pointed stones, and then his loud, sonorous 
 voice. The gouty notary smilingly pointed out the 
 place where the circle should be enlarged to make 
 room for the new arrival, the doctor entered with a 
 smile, and gayety kindled afresh as the flame bursts 
 forth from smouldering brands when a door is 
 opened. 
 
 " Good-evening, doctor, have you heard from 
 Joseph ? " 
 
 " Yes, yes ; excellent news. My bov's a wonder- 
 ful fellow." 
 
 And rummaging in his pocket he drew out a letter 
 from the medical student and read the principal 
 passages. The writing was clear, close, and regular. 
 Joseph spoke only of himself, his studies and his 
 future prospects. " I have arranged my time," said 
 he, " in such a way that I gain an hour's work with- 
 out shortening the two evenings I devote to society 
 every week. From nine to eleven o'clock I can 
 make three calls, certainly two, which is sufficient if 
 one knows how to select properly. I want to obtain 
 the gold medal on completing my term as house sur- 
 geon, and at the same time pass the examination and 
 the central office. It is possible, and I will do it. I 
 have strength for a great deal of work, and an excel- 
 lent method of arranging my time into the bargain. 
 As to old Brillette, in whose favor you ask me to 
 make an application to my chief, I will answer you 
 very frankly, my clear father, by a flat refusal. The 
 situation is certainly very touching, but mine is still 
 more interesting, and I don't wish to fritter away my 
 credit. Besides, you can help the man with money.
 
 I BABOLAIN. 22$ 
 
 Give him the five hundred francs you were going to 
 send me, I need nothing ; nay, I have a thousand 
 excellent reasons for remaining poor. My religious 
 principles continue to excite the jeers of certain per- 
 sons ; I fully expected and rejoice over it." 
 
 General enthusiasm was excited by the reading 
 of that letter, whose salient passages were com- 
 mented upon by the doctor. " How much resolu- 
 tion, what energy, what admirable courage this young 
 man's conduct displays," they said. " Square at the 
 base," added Bernard, fondly. 
 
 I confess that I had not shared the general ex- 
 citement. The unbending will of this Joseph, who 
 seemed ready to sacrifice everything to attain his ob- 
 ject, made me shudder. I remembered his stiff 
 manners, his cold glance, and the aversion I had felt 
 towards him increased. Valentine, moreover, seemed 
 to feel the same impression as myself, for she had re- 
 mained silent all the evening. 
 
 When we were alone on the way home, lantern in 
 hand, she began to walk very rapidly, clinging closely 
 to my arm ; one would have thought that she wanted 
 to fly from the town. 
 
 " You are frightened, my dear," I said, smiling. 
 
 " No, no, I'm not afraid." 
 
 " Why, you seem very much agitated," and to di- 
 vert her thoughts I spoke of the famous letter. 
 " This Joseph is a bar of steel," I said, " or at least 
 he isn't sorry to pass for one ; don't you think so ? 
 Under the words of this ascetic worker, perhaps it 
 might not be necessary to seek far to discover an 
 ambitious, intriguing man. I don't like " 
 
 " You don't like conflict, struggle," she said sud- 
 denly in a ringing voice, quickening her pace. " Yet 
 these eager workers whom difficulty excites and 
 arouses, who rush head-foremost towards a noble 
 aim, these superb lunatics, born for the intoxication 
 of a great career, are needed." 
 15
 
 226 BABOLAIN. 
 
 " But, rny darling, that's not what I meant." 
 
 " Walk faster, faster, I don't feel well this even- 
 ing." 
 
 " I understand all ambitions, although calmness 
 has now returned to my heart. I, too, have had my 
 dreams, and have worked perhaps as much as Ber- 
 nard's son. I have never told you about all that. 
 Ha ! ha ! ha ! I know what constant toil is." 
 
 " Well, you must rest now here we are at 
 last." 
 
 " When I was about to enter the normal school 
 and afterwards, at the examination I have spent 
 many a night, and it wasn't very warm that winter, 
 in my little room. I remember now wait till I push 
 the gate open I remember that I had a rabbit skin 
 to protect myself from the cold Ha ! ha ! ha ! yes, 
 I've worked as hard as Bernard's son." 
 
 " Indeed ! Good-night, father." 
 
 " Yes, and per-haps harder. I don't dispute his 
 merit, you know, my dear. I really think him an un- 
 common lad, and one well calculated to steer his own 
 ship ; I fear only one thing, and that is that he'll 
 steer her too well. You'll see what a daughter of 
 Croesus this fine fellow will hunt up." 
 
 My daughter suddenly disappeared, and I heard 
 her chamber door slam violently. 
 
 Joseph seemed to have said good-bye to the town 
 of Favras forever. Two or three times a year my 
 friend Bernard went to Paris to spend a day with his 
 son, and always returned in a very enthusiastic mood. 
 The student's triumphs really did seem marvellous. 
 He would be one of the bright particular stars of 
 medicine, one of the most remarkable men of his 
 age if his health could endure the severe labor he 
 imposed upon himself. Several very remarkable 
 works had already raised him above all his compan- 
 ions in the school, and his teachers had asked his 
 advice in certain difficult cases. Gifted with medical
 
 BABOLAIN. 227 
 
 tact in an unusual degree, highly educated, ener- 
 getic, patient, indomitable, in spite of the most an- 
 gelic modesty, to what height must he not attain ? 
 Having become a constant visitor at the hotel de 
 V6lizy, where he was received on the footing of an 
 intimate friend by the old Marquise, who could not 
 do without him, the most desirable practice awaited 
 him. 
 
 Such were the reports the doctor brought on his 
 return from Paris. The impression produced upon 
 the population of the young hero's native town was 
 immense. For whole evenings people discussed 
 Joseph's future, recalled the wonderful things he had 
 done in his childhood, and certain persons even de- 
 clared that the tokens of genius were plainly visible 
 upon his brow at that period. 
 
 One evening, when we went to Bernard's, we 
 were astonished to find the large gate wide open. 
 The kitchen was brightly lighted, and baggage was 
 piled in the ante-chamber ; a door suddenly opened 
 and the doctor appeared with a flushed, beaming 
 countenance. 
 
 " Ah ! it's you," said he, " come in, my son is here, 
 I was going to tell you. I only received his letter 
 this evening." 
 
 Joseph was very much altered. He was now a 
 grave, dignified man, who inspired respect at once. 
 His pale, smoothly shaven face, furrowed with deep 
 wrinkles, had an aspect of manly beauty ; and his 
 bright, steady glance pierced you through and 
 through. His mouth was small and clearly cut, and 
 his high forehead, rendered still higher by a mass of 
 long hair pushed backward, really seemed to be the 
 brow of a man of genius. His gestures were made 
 at rare intervals, slow and very simple ; he said little, 
 in a voice that was weak though well modulated, de- 
 laying his answers like a man constantly pursued by 
 pressing cares. Although very young, one could per-
 
 228 BABOLAIN. 
 
 ceive that he was matured by experience, knew his 
 own value, and was accustomed to the respect and 
 esteem of others. 
 
 When everybody was seated, Valentine, whose 
 manner was more cold and indifferent than usual, ap- 
 proached the lamp, drew from her pocket the piece 
 of embroidery she had commenced, and began to 
 work as usual. It gave me pleasure to see how little 
 impression the sight of the young conqueror made 
 upon her. 
 
 We talked a great deal that evening; reassured 
 by Joseph's really surprising modesty, and stimulated 
 by the presence of a distinguished person, Bernard, 
 the cure and I were a little too loquacious. 
 
 Scarcely had the hero uttered a word when all 
 three, hastily rummaging in the bag of memories, 
 ventured our little stories. We too had had our tri- 
 umphs, our moments of brilliancy. Even the good 
 priest had had intimate relations with the aristoc- 
 racy ; he had converted the young Marquis de P., 
 been the confidant of theComtessede C., and in his 
 heart the Duchesse de K. placed her last hopes. 
 
 As for me I should never have ceased recalling 
 my doughty deeds at the normal school, had it not 
 been for the imploring looks of my daughter, whom 
 I was evidently torturing by my absurd vanity. 
 
 It was not until nearly ten o'clock that we thought 
 of taking leave. When everybody was in the ante- 
 chamber, Joseph, Addressing the priest with every 
 token of respectful consideration, said : 
 
 "To-morrow will be Sunday, Monsieur le cure; 
 does the service still begin at nine o'clock ? " 
 
 " At nine o'clock, yes, my dear doctor, high mass 
 is always at nine o'clock. Our church will seem 
 strangely plain to you who have been accustomed to 
 the pomp of religious worship in Paris." 
 
 " God is everywhere, Monsieur le cure; God is 
 everywhere."
 
 BABOLAIN. 229 
 
 " I hope at least you will take your seat in the 
 church-warden's pew beside your father." 
 
 " I am deeply touched by the favor, and will 
 gratefully accept it." 
 
 " We are the favored ones, Monsieur Joseph 
 excuse me while I light my lantern the house of 
 God thank you, I have some matches it is an 
 honor to us, I assure you. I wish you a very good 
 evening." 
 
 Valentine's conduct completely effaced from my 
 mind a thousand little anxieties which had haunted 
 me. Not a word was exchanged between her and 
 myself on the subject of Bernard's son, or, at least, 
 if I spoke of him, it was in a very indirect way. 
 
 " Nothing is so alarming," I said to her, " as ex- 
 ceptional good fortune. To enter upon life in a 
 chariot and four and pass under a triumphal arch is 
 the greatest of calamities. How is all this to be 
 paid for afterwards ? You perceive, my darling, it is 
 giving destiny terrible pledges. There are certain 
 laws fixed by fate : a sun high in the heavens attracts 
 great clouds ; inordinate ambitions cause terrible 
 downfalls. When our eyes are fixed on the horizon, 
 we plunge violently into the first ditch that crosses 
 the path, and life, my child, is furrowed with ditches 
 and old roads. The wise man imitates the prudence 
 of the blind : he goes step by step, and feels the way 
 with his stick. He does not leap over the ditches, 
 but quietly descends and goes up. according to the 
 whims of the ground. Then when he finds some lit- 
 tle spot sheltered from the sun and wind, he puts 
 down his wallet and pauses to see others pass by. It 
 is for this purpose that critical judgment is so pre- 
 cious a gift." 
 
 Valentine did not seem to hear me, but by her si- 
 lence I guessed that she understood me and shared 
 my ideas. One particular of her conduct afforded 
 me great pleasure : not content with the somewhat
 
 230 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 austere manners she had adopted since Joseph's ar- 
 rival at Favras, she suddenly changed her style of 
 dress, and wore nothing but black or very dark gar- 
 ments, entirely destitute of ornament. Even her 
 mode of arranging her hair was excessively plain, 
 and I said to myself : " It is very evident that she has 
 no desire to please him." What strange fancies I had 
 got into my head. I have misunderstood her simple 
 heart, her lofty character. Then, of what avail has 
 this faculty of analysis i possess been to me, except 
 to strip the bloom from all good things and render 
 evil- ones still harder to bear ? 
 
 I frankly confess I was not sorry that she should 
 be marble to every one, but what I could not under- 
 stand was that she should retain her melancholy, re- 
 signed expression when in my society, and again 
 keep me at a distance by her repellant manners. 
 For a long time she had avoided my caresses, doubt- 
 less that she might not be compelled to respond to 
 them. True, it was only natural that her fresh, rosy 
 lips should feel a repugnance to pressing my old, 
 withered cheeks, but why did she show these tokens 
 of apparent hostility ? How many times I have hur- 
 ried away from her, swallowing down my tears. I 
 went into the darkest corner of the garden, cut and 
 hacked away furiously with my pruning knife hap- 
 hazard, and if my dog surprised me in the midst of 
 my sorrow, I took him between my knees, looked 
 into his eyes, and overwhelmed him with ques- 
 tions. " Why is she unhappy, tell me, Sultan ? 
 What does she want? She no longer pets you ; you 
 are troublesome, too ! " And I consoled the poor 
 animal which wagged his tail and thrust his nose in 
 my face. 
 
 A horrible thought occurred to me. " Suppose 
 my daughter's conduct should be logical," I said to 
 myself; " suppose 1 am merely gathering the fruit of 
 the germs I have sown ! " 1 remembered the succes-
 
 . . BAPOLAIA T . 231 
 
 sive transformations my affection had undergone as 
 my child became a woman and the symptoms of her 
 unfolding beauty appeared. I examined my heart 
 and was terrified. Is it with a father's eye that I 
 watched with so much intentness her graceful bear- 
 ing, the undulations of the pliant figure while she 
 was running about in the garden; that 1 studied her 
 features, analyzed her smile, took pleasure in her 
 very faults without having courage to call her atten- 
 tion to them ? And afterwards when I suddenly saw 
 her admired by everybody, did I not feel an emotion 
 of monstrous jealousy ? Was not I, her father, the 
 first to encourage her taste for finery, the first to tell 
 her that she was pretty, bewitching ? Have I not 
 implanted the germ of a love of admiration which 
 might destroy her, but whose charm was irresistible 
 to me ? How many times, in giving her a good-night 
 kiss, I had noticed how much she resembled her 
 mother, and embraced her a second time as if to en- 
 velop both in the same caress. There had been the 
 echo of another feeling in my paternal love the 
 memory of a past I could not forget, the light of a 
 fire which could not be extinguished. How many 
 base, shameful feelings there are in the human soul ! 
 Was it surprising that she should have neither respect 
 nor esteem for me ? I dared not speak to her, look 
 her in the face. It was a positive torture. Although 
 her habits were still the same, it soon became evident 
 to me that her health was affected. She fell into a 
 state of languor and weakness, whose every shade I 
 secretly watched. 
 
 This painful situation had lasted about three 
 months, when one day, in passing near the house, I 
 heard the sound of stirled sobs proceeding from Val- 
 entine's room, whose shutters were tightly closed. I 
 was the more surprised because I supposed that my 
 daughter was detained in town that portion of the 
 day by her tasks of benevolence and piety. My first
 
 232 BABOLAIN. 
 
 thought was that some accident had befallen her, and 
 I was beside her in an instant. 
 
 The poor child, with her hat still on her head, was 
 stretched on her bed, a prey to a most violent fit of 
 hysterics. Her hands were clenched, her face was 
 deadly pale and wet with tears, and her half-closed 
 eyes had an expression of insanity. I bent over her 
 and clasped her in my arms. Was she going to die ? 
 " What is the matter, my child, tell me, what is the 
 matter ? " I asked, trying to maintain my calmness ; 
 she burst into a convulsive laugh, and pressing my 
 arm with wild violence, murmured : 
 
 " Yes forever you have guessed right I love 
 you " 
 
 " And I love you in return," I answered, " I love 
 you with all my heart, my child, my Valentine." 
 
 " In life and death forever." 
 
 " Calm yourself, my darling. Yes, we will be 
 happy. I will do all in my power." 
 
 The fit of hysterics gradually passed away ; her 
 eyes opened wider ; she turned towards me, and rec- 
 ognizing me, uttered a cry of terror. 
 
 "The letter," she screamed in a tone of anguish, 
 " the letter! " 
 
 " What letter, darling ? It is I, your father, don't 
 you know me ? " 
 
 " Well, why are you here ? Where is the letter ? " 
 
 I saw a scrap of paper which happened to be 
 lying on the floor, and holding it out to her with a 
 trembling hand, said : " Is this what you want ? " 
 
 She seized the fragment I offered, and kissed it 
 with passionate tenderness. 
 
 Doubt was no longer possible, my daughter was 
 insane. 
 
 1 shouted to Marianne ; and when the good wo- 
 man came, rushed like a madman towards the town, 
 where Doctor .Bernard would certainly be at this 
 hour.
 
 BABOLAIN. 233 
 
 I should not be able to tell the wild thoughts that 
 pursued me as I hurried on. I unconsciously took 
 the Rochemont road, and was obliged to retrace my 
 steps in a run. Perhaps the delay was irreparable. 
 
 On entering the doctor's house I saw him in the 
 ante-chamber, pacing to and fro, with every token of 
 the greatest excitement. 
 
 " Bernard," I said, throwing myself into his arms, 
 " I am very unhappy. My daughter, my poor daugh- 
 ter ! " The speed with which I had come deprived 
 me of all power to speak, and I embraced my old 
 friend with increasing agitation. 
 
 " In the first place," said he, indignantly releas- 
 ing himself, " do me the favor to be quiet and come 
 into my study, there's no need of crying all this on 
 the housetops." 
 
 When we were seated and the door was carefully 
 closed, the doctor took his snuff box, plunged his 
 huge finger and thumb violently into it, and shut the 
 box by a resounding rap on the cover. 
 
 " Make haste, I beg of you. My Valentine is 
 ill." 
 
 " Don't make any sentimental demonstrations, I 
 hate them. Let me alone. I want to have my say. 
 Confound it, there's no doubt about my views. I've 
 always been square at the base, and I tell you frank- 
 ly, I consider this affair deplorable, absurd, mad ; I 
 disapprove of it, I am heart-broken." 
 
 " All the reproaches you can make I have al- 
 ready heaped upon myself," I answered. " But let us 
 go, let us go at once. Do you consider her condi- 
 tion hopeless ? Oh God ! what a terrible misfortune ! " 
 
 Bernard impatiently drew his dressing-gown 
 closer around him, looking me steadily in the face. 
 
 " Terrible misfortune ! Devil take it, I consider 
 that joke out of place, and you are strangely mistaken 
 in the situation of affairs. Do you suppose I am the 
 dupe of this clumsy comedy ? Do you take me for a
 
 234 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 simpleton, a fool ? Do you think me stupid enough 
 to keep quiet while my son makes a marriage like 
 this ? He who could aspire to the most brilliant 
 matches. Valentine is pretty, I don't dispute it, she 
 is undoubtedly accomplished, but " 
 
 " What ! What do you mean ? Explain yourself," 
 I cried, growing furious in my turn. " Valentine 
 mafYy ! At a time when her life is in danger. Mar- 
 ry Joseph ! Never. Who has said this ? It's a 
 slander, a horrible falsehood, I will not allow my 
 daughter's inclinations to be forced. Marry Joseph ! 
 I won't have it, it shall never be. I too have rights. 
 I am her father. I will defend her, and if any one 
 has the baseness to disturb her mind with such in- 
 sinuations I swear he shall have to deal with me. 
 To seek to ensnare a poor child who is living quietly 
 and happily, tear her from her father's arms ! Well, 
 let them come on. If necessary I will commit a 
 crime, yes a crime." 
 
 " Don't gesticulate so, that's all stuff and non- 
 sense. Who will believe that a man of Joseph's im- 
 portance would have formed such a resolution if he 
 hadn't been beset, overreached ? What means were 
 employed? I don't know, but it's certain that my 
 son is a victim of a plot, that he has fallen into a 
 snare which has doubtless been spread for a long 
 time." 
 
 At such an accusation my fury knew no bounds, 
 and seizing a carafe, which stood near, I cried, trem- 
 bling with rage : " If you continue to insult my 
 daughter I will kill you, break your head this instant. 
 1 want a disgraceful marriage with an ambitious, 
 intriguing man whom she detests, whom we both de- 
 test ! A likely thing! I will protect her. I am 
 strong, they shall see I am strong." 
 
 I was fairly beside myself. Bernard put his great 
 hand on my shoulder and looked at me compassion- 
 ately. " Go home, poor fellow. Put down that
 
 BABOLALV. 
 
 carafe, you will wet my carpet. I will speak to you to- 
 morrow. Come, go. Confound it, don't you see 
 that if you stayed I should be unable to control my- 
 self any longer ? " 
 
 I was pushed out of the house, and walked away 
 staggering like a drunken man. 
 
 It was autumn, night had fallen and the wind was 
 blowing violently. The trees bent towards each oth 
 er with a grinding sound, the dry leaves whirled 
 around me with a diabolical laugh, and my thoughts 
 also whirled through my brain. I sat down on the 
 edge of a ditch, fairly terrified at my own condition. 
 Amid the nightmare which had taken possession of 
 me, I felt the presence of some mystery and said, 
 mechanically, " What does it mean, oh ! God, what 
 does this mean ! " Suddenly I remembered the posi- 
 tion in which I had left my daughter. Perhaps she 
 is no longer alive, I thought with terror, and contin- 
 ued my way as fast as I could. 
 
 At last I arrived at my destination, pushed open 
 the garden gate and entered the garden. I was only 
 a few paces from the house when the door opened 
 and I saw Joseph, accompanied by my daughter who 
 was lighting the way with a lantern. I instinctively 
 slipped behind a clump of lilacs that grew by the 
 walk. Valentine's face wore an unusual expression, 
 which it was impossible for me to define ; every trace 
 of suffering had disappeared. The two young people 
 came down the path talking together in so low a tone 
 that it was impossible for me to understand anything ; 
 but when they had almost reached the spot where I 
 was hidden I could distinguish the meaning of their 
 words. 
 
 " Yes, yes," said my daughter, " if people could 
 die of joy, I should have died to-day, my dear one." 
 She held out her hand to him and added : " You 
 will probably meet my father on the way, I am sur- 
 prised that he has not returned."
 
 236 BABOLAIN. 
 
 " I regret it. He doesn't suspect anything ? M 
 
 " Of course not, poor man." 
 
 " How your ardent, noble nature must have suf- 
 fered under the deadly pressure of this old man with 
 his strange manias." 
 
 " I was somewhat stifled indeed. I was particularly 
 ashamed of his half-dead manner, his pitiable idle- 
 ness, when others were struggling so nobly, entering 
 upon the battle of life with so much courage. Oh ! 
 I assure you, I feel I have the strength to understand 
 and aid you. But let us say no more about it." 
 
 " Do you love me ? " asked the scoundrel, lower- 
 ing his voice. 
 
 " Yes, I love you, Joseph, and I admire you. Go 
 now, go." 
 
 " God has approved of our betrothal." 
 
 When I regained my consciousness, I found my- 
 self in bed. On opening my eyes, the first person 
 I saw was Marianne, who was putting a bandage up- 
 on my forehead. 
 
 " Oh ! Monsieur," she said in an accent of real 
 delight, " so you have revived again. You frightened 
 us terribly; but it's nothing serious. It's only a faint- 
 ing fit your color is coming back a little. I'm not 
 binding your head too tight, it's because you rubbed 
 the skin off your forehead when you fell. I almost 
 tumbled down myself, tripping over your legs which 
 came out beyond the lilac bushes." 
 
 "Well, my poor father, are you better?" said 
 Valentine approaching and holding out her hand to 
 me. 
 
 " 1 have had an attack of giddiness, it is nothing. 
 You have not been anxious, 1 should be sorry to 
 have troubled you." My heart was swelling, for 1 
 now remembered all that had passed, and said to my- 
 self: "She gives me her hand, but withholds her 
 heart I thank you and Marianne for having nursed 
 me, I am ever grateful to you." Then I added in a
 
 B ABO LAIN. 237 
 
 lower tone : " You know perfectly well, my dear 
 daughter, that I place your happiness above every- 
 thing, don't you ? I most solemnly assure you that it 
 is so if you had a wish a plan, it would only be 
 necessary to tell me, my love. Oh ! have no fear, I 
 shall make no comments not one remark, you must 
 be happy, it is natural." 
 
 " But, father, I" 
 
 " Don't tell me anything now, I beg of you. Some 
 other time. Go, go, my darling, you shall be happy, 
 my daughter." 
 
 And I pushed her gently away, for I feared she 
 might not dare to confess the whole truth, and wish- 
 ed to avoid even the semblance of a falsehood from 
 her lips. 
 
 When Doctor Bernard saw me come in the next 
 day he frowned and said rudely enough : " Oh ! there 
 you are, you have come to talk the matter over." 
 
 " I have come you will let me sit down I have 
 come to apologize for my conduct yesterday." I fairly 
 dragged the words from my lips, so to speak, for 
 in my heart I felt an aversion to Joseph which now re- 
 sembled hatred. " I was not in my right mind, I am 
 shocked that I allowed myself to go so far I believe 
 I threatened you I beg your pardon, Bernard." I 
 was seeking for the best way of expressing my re- 
 pentance, for it was necessary to disarm and soften 
 him ; his consent to the marriage upon which my 
 daughter's future depended was to be secured at this 
 cost. " I think," I continued, " you will forget the 
 angry words that escaped me. The idea of being 
 separated from Valentine was making me so wretch- 
 ed and therefore you will not bear me a grudge. If 
 I had known our two children had so much affection 
 for each other, I should have said nothing, my dear 
 Bernard, for it is a father's duty to do everything for 
 his child, literally everything." 
 
 " If I were not convinced of that, I shouldn't have
 
 238 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 admitted the possibility of a union like this, or al- 
 lowed the violence to which you permitted yourself 
 to give way to pass." He took out his snuff-box and 
 shook it angrily. " But not a word more upon the 
 subject, since my son desires it I accept in short, I 
 accept your apologies, but under any other circum- 
 stances I swear I should have " 
 
 " Once more, Bernard, I entreat you to pardon me." 
 "I should have crushed the insolent fellow, the 
 audacious knave, who could have forgotten himself 
 as you have done. Haven't I given you every possi- 
 ble proof of friendship ? Come, speak ! haven't I ? " 
 " Undoubtedly my friend, undoubtedly." 
 " And when I am on the point of consenting 
 once more. I have no wish to recur to that scene, 
 which I attribute to a momentary fit of insanity." 
 "Yes, that's it : I didn't know what I was saying." 
 " Good, very good : people trample under foot 
 every feeling of gratitude and friendship, insult oth- 
 ers and all this is of very little consequence if they 
 add : ' I am sorry, I wasn't aware of what I was say- 
 ing!' Oh ! you should have merely said, 'Bernard, 
 the prospect of entering your family confuses me. I 
 was so far from expecting that my daughter could 
 ever marry a man of Joseph's merit, I don't know how 
 to express the emotion, the bewilderment' that's 
 what you should have said to me. Do you know that 
 my son, besides the profession which will secure him 
 a brilliant fortune in the immediate future, possesses 
 at the present time, in right of his mother, a property 
 of one hundred and ten thousand francs, besides what 
 I shall leave him ? What dowry do you intend to 
 give your daughter ? " 
 
 I started. My first thought was that my small 
 means would prevent this accursed marriage, which 
 however I desired with all my heart. 
 
 " I will do all I can," 1 stammered, " but I am 
 not rich."
 
 BABOLAIN. 239 
 
 " We are not here to joke." He shook his snuff- 
 box again. " Confound it. Do you suppose my 
 memory is short enough for me to have forgotten the 
 large property you formerly inherited ? Joseph's in- 
 explicable folly gives you considerable advantage 
 over me, it is true, but I don't advise you to presume 
 upon your situation. Mine isn't the nature of a dupe, 
 I warn you. Let us speak seriously. What do you 
 give your daughter ? " 
 
 " Why, everything, my friend. Everything I have." 
 
 " State what you have exactly, exactly." 
 
 " Good Heavens ! I haven't thought of it yet ; in 
 the first place, the house we live in, with the garden. 
 She must have her home, of course with the furni- 
 ture, I don't wish to change her habits in any way. 
 Besides, she has associations with it you know, Ber- 
 nard, we have lived there so long ! She was very 
 happy in her little blue room with the 'clump of rose 
 bushes under the window. Perhaps you have not 
 noticed the rose bushes I planted them all " 
 
 " The property has increased in value since the 
 rail road has been planned; I estimate it at the pres- 
 ent time to be worth about fifty thousand francs. You 
 see I set it at a high valuation. So you will give 
 your daughter this house and estate, valued at fifty 
 thousand francs: Well, and then ? Make haste, Joseph 
 will soon come back." 
 
 I concentrated all my energies to make an ex- 
 act inventory of the fragments of my fortune. " Oh ! " 
 said I, " I have an income of two thousand and some 
 odd francs from property invested in stock: if you 
 want that " 
 
 " Of course, and then ? " 
 
 " Then, why I have nothing more I beg your 
 pardon, my friend, I forgot " 
 
 " I suspected you would forget something." 
 
 "I have my dictionary, which brings me in six or 
 eight hundred francs a year. Can I make over my
 
 240 BABOLAIN. 
 
 copyright to Valentine ? I would bind myself to do 
 it in writing." 
 
 " Certainly, that's a matter of course. Now listen 
 to me, Babolain, let me tell you just what I think: 
 your conduct is that of a contemptible wretch. Never, 
 no never, did any one see a father in your position 
 haggling in this way when the matter in question 
 concerned the future and happiness of his child." 
 
 " I solemnly assure you I am giving all I have left, 
 literally all, my dear Bernard; I have kept nothing for 
 myself except the five hundred francs the ministry 
 gives me as an old professor. Oh ! it is quite enough. 
 People don't want much at my age. Besides, Valen- 
 tine and her husband will let me live near them, 
 close by them a little room will be enough I shan't 
 be in their way, they will see me very little, I have al- 
 ways lived near her. you know." Bernard began to 
 drum on the lid of his snuff-box. " If it is necessary, 
 absolutely necessary I'll go away, but I could do 
 many little things for them, save them trouble. Valen- 
 tine is accustomed to have me near her. She has 
 more affection for me than she thinks. When a child 
 not very long ago, she called upon me to help her in 
 the smallest things. Oh ! she is a good daughter who 
 loves her father I am sure 
 
 " What is most evident in all this," said the doc- 
 tor, " is that my son's future wife will have a dowry 
 of fifty thousand francs, with an income of two thou- 
 sand, and a somewhat doubtful revenue of a few hun- 
 dred more. You're a clever man, but we shall see. 
 Joseph will .open his eyes. Devil take it ! People 
 don't throw themselves into ditches in this fashion." 
 
 " I should like to have more to give her, but " 
 
 " Where is your fortune then ? " 
 
 " I have met with heavy losses." 
 
 " That is, you are utterly ruined, and hope to re- 
 pair the misfortune by marrying your daughter. I'm 
 sorry to say so, but it is the act of an adventurer.
 
 BABOLAIN. 24 1 
 
 You've had your eye on my son for ten, perhaps fif- 
 teen years." 
 
 " Oh ! Bernard, don't say that, I beg of you, it 
 would be horrible." 
 
 " I've been deceived by your manner, I've been 
 ridiculously trustful. Why should you have taken 
 refuge here, if you had had nothing to conceal ? 
 What do I know of your past ? What are the follies 
 that have ruined you ? Why should your wife have 
 left you ? You have carefully avoided confiding all 
 this to me. What has become of your child's moth- 
 er, Babolain ? Undoubtedly the poor woman, driven 
 to despair, was compelled to abandon her fireside. 
 Come, speak, what reason have you to reproach your 
 wife ? " 
 
 " I accuse no one," I murmured. I was suffering 
 deeply, for I saw the phantom I supposed had van- 
 ished, once more appear before me. As if the future 
 were not a fatal consequence of the past, as if one 
 could escape from the logical connection of events ! 
 I had been foolish, proud, and the burden of my 
 faults was now falling upon the head of my beloved 
 daughter. Perhaps my past would prevent her from 
 being happy. I continued : " I have committed great 
 errors, it is true. Undoubtedly I was not formed for 
 married life, the ladies were artists, and lived only 
 for their art ; I was very different consequently, they 
 suffered, and I suffered too. My wife and her moth- 
 er are in Italy. At least, I think so, for I have rare- 
 ly received news of them. I must even say that 
 they have never written to me since our separation." 
 
 " Poor wife, " said Bernard. " And for twenty 
 years the thought of repairing your wrongs has not 
 once entered your mind," 
 
 "They committed equally great ones." 
 
 " What ! speak frankly. With what do you re- 
 proach them ? " 
 
 " Little things," I hastily replied ; for I trembled 
 16
 
 242 BABOLAIN. 
 
 lest I should injure Valentine by accusing her moth 
 er. "A great many little things. But I've forgotten 
 them all." 
 
 " Then why not recall your wife, why not live 
 honorably vvith her ? do you think my son will accept 
 a situation like yours in his family ? Never, no, never. 
 For my part, I cannot consent to it." 
 
 " Bernard, you know very well that if this mar- 
 riage did not take place, my daughter would die. 
 She loves Joseph, my friend. You cannot imagine 
 the ardor and purity of her heart. You won't oppose 
 this marriage, I beg of you it would be a sort of 
 murder, with which you wouldn't wish to have cause 
 to reproach yourself." 
 
 "That's something like, I prefer you so. You 
 show the full extent of your ambition at last." 
 
 " I have no other ambition than that of saving my 
 daughter from dying of grief. I will do what I can 
 to bring the ladies back ; I bear them no ill will, I 
 have no hatred towards them. If it is necessary to 
 entreat my wife and her mother to return that Valen- 
 tine may be happy, I will do so. But they will not 
 wish to come back. I'll write to them ; I'll tell them 
 I am the sole cause of all that has happened. What 
 does it matter if I do humiliate myself, I have always 
 meant to do everything for the best, my friend ; Val- 
 entine is not responsible for her father's faults." 
 
 We talked together a long time, and I went away 
 feeling very sorrowful. The more I tried to soothe 
 him, the more irritable he seemed. Yet it is hard to 
 be compelled to wish for a thing one hates. 
 
 Meantime, in spite of the protestations of 
 Bernard, who said lie was decidedly opposed to the 
 marriage, affairs seemed to progress rapidly. I dared 
 not speak of it to any one, but 1 saw seamstresses 
 from Blois installed in the house, making up pieces of 
 linen, cutting and sewing from morning till night. One 
 could hear their bursts of laughter and their songs.
 
 B ABO LAIN. 243 
 
 Valentine, who superintended everything with the 
 greatest energy, seemed to find all this gayety very 
 natural. I understood that the trousseau was the 
 point in question. 
 
 The saddest part of the whole affair to me was 
 the strange transformation that had taken place in my 
 daughter ; she was now unrecognizable ; her whole 
 person was instinct with health and happiness, and 
 the smallest details of this development were 
 obvious to me; nay, she even lavished upon me at- 
 tentions and cares to which I had long been unaccus- 
 tomed. Could I tell her that her affection tortured 
 me ? Our house, which I loved with all my heart, 
 had become intolerable to me. Early in the morning 
 I made my escape through the Kttle garden door, but 
 avoided the highway and travelled roads that I 
 might not be compelled to submit to the compli- 
 ments with which the neighbors overwhelmed me on 
 the subject of the marriage, which was already known 
 throughout the country. All the people who smiled 
 upon me seemed to be saying : " It's none the less 
 true that p6re Babolain, for all his innocent air, 
 knows how to feather his nest, and has snared the 
 young doctor from Paris very cleverly. " 
 
 I instinctively returned to the places we had fre- 
 quented when she was a child. In the forest, by the 
 bank of the river, I found her everywhere. Here she 
 had paused, yonder she had smiled as she turned 
 towards me. It was like so many apparitions, whose 
 reality plunged me again into the scenes of the past. 
 I saw her, I talked with her. There was something 
 of my daughter in these scenes ; she had left traces 
 of her presence as she passed, and I collected them 
 all step by step, followed by my dog, which, seeing me 
 sad, became more gentle and watched me with a 
 drooping head. 
 
 If instead of being petted, beloved by every one, 
 she had been repulsive from her plainness and hated
 
 244 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 for her faults, I, her father, would have loved her just 
 as much, and she would never have left me. In my 
 selfishness I fancied her sickly and repulsive, and 
 thus had her entirely to myself. 
 
 The hardest moment of all was that in which I 
 was obliged to smile upon Joseph and consider him 
 openly as my son-in-law. I really believed I should 
 never be able to do it. In vain I said to myself, 
 " Hatred and jealousy blind me; Valentine would not 
 love him if he was not worthy 'of it. I detest him be- 
 cause he is superior to me, because he possesses 
 qualities which I have not, it is shocking." I said all 
 these things to myself, but did not succeed in dimin- 
 ishing my antipathy to Joseph, so I took an extreme 
 course, embraced him, overwhelmed him with protest- 
 ations, pressed his hands, stopped people to sing his 
 praises. I was a liar, a false wretch, a scoundrel ; 
 but thanks to the violence I did my feelings, I suc- 
 ceeded in concealing my aversion from him. 
 
 Two days before the contract was signed, Doctor 
 Bernard, who under his son's influence had become 
 strangely softened, drew me into a window corner 
 and said, " I'm sure you haven't thought of getting 
 your wife's consent." 
 
 " Good heavens ! " said I, despairingly, " is that 
 necessary ? Then the marriage can't possibly take 
 place." 
 
 " Fortunately Joseph, who foresaw your negli- 
 gence, anticipated the difficulty, and 
 
 " What ! He has seen my wife ? " 
 
 " No ; but Monseigneur de Pansol, brother of the 
 Marquise de Velizy, was kind enough to undertake 
 the duty of making the application. He addressed 
 himself to the Comtesse de Monte Revilla, who is a 
 very influential person in Rome. This Comtesse, it 
 seems, is very intimate with your wife, for Monseign- 
 eur dc Pansol received Madame Babolain's consent 
 to Valentine's marriage by return mail. The docu-
 
 B ABO LAIN. 245 
 
 ment was accompanied by a letter from the Comtesse 
 de Monte Revilla, couched, it seems, in the most ex- 
 quisite language. In it she states that Madame Bab- 
 olain, who has been detained in Rome a long time by 
 ill-health, cannot be present at her daughter's mar- 
 riage, but that from afar the poor mother will pray 
 for the happiness of her child, and God will hear the 
 supplications of a heart purified by affliction. Mon- 
 seigneur de Pansol's eyes were full of tears as he read 
 the letter. ' I clearly recognize there,' said he,- ' the 
 generous soul of the Comtesse de Monte Revilla, who 
 is well fitted to be the interpreter and consoler of all 
 who mourn.'" 
 
 "You will excuse me for repeating these words," 
 added Bernard with great dignity. " I have no power 
 to judge between your wife and yourself, as you must 
 perceive, and your conscience will be more eloquent 
 than I." 
 
 Was it then true that my wife was unhappy and 
 penitent ? And for twenty years I had made no effort 
 to lessen the distance between us. If Esther had not 
 effaced the past by twenty years of virtue ; if she had 
 not been in every way worthy of respect, would this 
 great Roman lady, this Comtesse de Monte Revilla, 
 have taken up her defense so warmly ? 
 
 I still imagine I am in a dream when I think of 
 the tumult of feeling in my heart during that cruel 
 week. The day of the wedding, in particular. I am 
 conscious of having behaved lik>e a lunatic. My head 
 was empty, my brain withered, I had lost all control 
 over myself, there was no longer any one at the 
 helm ; and yet I remember every detail of this night- 
 mare with the greatest precision. After having signed 
 the register in the vestry, instead of carefully laying 
 down the pen, I let it fall, still full of ink, and threw 
 myself into the curb's arms, calling him my dear 
 friend. A loud murmur made me turn my head, and 
 I saw all the bystanders looking at me .indignantly.
 
 246 BABOLAIN. 
 
 My pen had dropped upon the dress of the mayor's 
 wife and made a huge spot. I was not surprised, the 
 accident seemed perfectly natural ; but the mayor ap- 
 proached me, saying in an authoritative tone, " I ex- 
 pect an apology, at least, Monsieur Babolain. It 
 would be behaving like a gentleman not to delay it." 
 
 I took his hands, clasped them in my own, and 
 smiling affectionately at him, said, "It's of no conse- 
 quence; thank you, thank you, yes, it's a very fine 
 day.". 
 
 The doctor and Monsieur le curt" were compelled 
 to interpose to calm the mayor, who was positively 
 furious. To cut short any explanations, they made 
 all the guests enter the carriages stationed upon the 
 square. I then perceived I had left my overcoat and 
 hat in the vestry, but on entering the church thought 
 no more about them ; and after wandering around a 
 few moments, paused before the wax-tapers the sex- 
 ton had just extinguished. I could not turn my eyes 
 from the bluish smoke that circled into the air, leav- 
 ing a most unpleasant odor. How could this ascen- 
 sional force be utilized, I thought to myself and sud- 
 denly the recollection occurred to me that I had given 
 the tinman my bellows to put on a new handle. I 
 hastily went out and crossed the square, now per- 
 fectly empty. When the tinman saw me, he cried out, 
 " Good gracious, what's the matter, Monsieur Babo- 
 lain ? " 
 
 "I've come to ask for my bellows, my friend." 
 
 "Why, I sent them home to you a fortnight ago. 
 Come in, Monsieur Babolain, you have no coat, and 
 it's very cold." 
 
 " No, thank you, you are too kind. I did not re- 
 member that my bellows had been mended. I beg 
 your pardon. My son-in-law is the best of men. Let 
 me shake hands with you." 
 
 It was not until about seven o'clock that I re- 
 turned hon\e ; I was covered with mud and horribly
 
 BABOLAIN. 247 
 
 tired, for I had been walking about the country a long 
 time, hap-hazard, but very eagerly. On entering the 
 ante-chamber, where servants in full dress, probably 
 hired at Blois, were rushing about, I found myself 
 face to face with Bernard, who was giving orders. 
 
 " Are you crazy, to arrive at this hour and in such 
 a condition ? " said he. 
 
 " I've just taken a long walk, you ought to have 
 gone to the table without me, I'm very sorry to have 
 kept you waiting." 
 
 This was not true ; I felt no regret, for everything 
 was a matter of indifference to me except the anguish 
 ever ready to burst forth from the depths of my heart ; 
 and my sole care was so to concentrate my efforts 
 that I might not lose my mastery over it. During 
 dinner I talked excessively, attaching no importance 
 to my words, and not even trying to give them a defi- 
 nite meaning. I interrupted everybody and broke in 
 upon the conversation. Just at the moment when 
 the mayor was saying that Monsieur le Sous-prefet 
 had been unable to attend the wedding breakfast on 
 account of his recent mourning for the loss of his 
 wife, I remember that, amid the general silence, I 
 turned towards the steward, who was putting a plate 
 under my nose, and said in a very loud voice : 
 
 " No, I never eat asparagus ; it doesn't agree 
 with me, and besides, you have been bothering me 
 for the last hour." 
 
 The mayor, supposing the words were addressed 
 to him, grew extremely red, and cast an astonished 
 glance around the table. 
 
 In vain Dr. Bernard and Monsieur le cur6, who 
 were in a very lively mood, strove to diminish the la- 
 mentable effect produced by my conduct ; one would 
 have said that everybody had an icy mantle thrown 
 over his shoulders. After the dinner was over, the 
 ladies all surrounded my child. I fancied I heard 
 the condoling speeches they made to her, and even
 
 248 B ABO LAIN". 
 
 saw amid the group my beloved Valentine raise her 
 little embroidered handkerchief to her eyes. This 
 was more than I could bear. I made my escape, 
 went "up to my room, and, once in bed, poured forth 
 the tears that were stifling me. 
 
 Unfortunately I had forgotten to lock myself in ; 
 for I soon heard steps upon the staircase, the door 
 of my room opened noisily, and by the light of the 
 candle I saw Bernard, whose face wore a terrible ex- 
 pression. "What does all this mean," he said, entering. 
 He was undoubtedly about to continue his speech 
 when he heard the regular sonorous sound of my 
 breathing. I feigned the deepest slumber, and even 
 believe that I somewhat overdid my part. He thrust 
 both hands into his pockets, rattled his keys, then 
 folded his arms over his breast without taking his 
 eyes from me, murmured a succession of adjectives 
 which left no doubt as to his opinion of me, and left 
 the room muttering : " Let him sleep then, it's better 
 that he should." 
 
 He is undoubtedly going to tell Valentine he has 
 found me lying in bed, I thought, and she will per- 
 haps imagine that I don't love her, that I am indiffer- 
 ent to what concerns her. I will go down in a mo- 
 ment, it is absolutely necessary for me to go down 
 a father cannot stay in bed at such a moment. Dur- 
 ing this time I heard the carriages rolling over the 
 avenue and stopping before the steps, the noise of 
 dishes coming from the kitchen, and the confused 
 sounds of the piano which floated up from the draw- 
 ing room. How many years had elapsed since the 
 day when I had undressed her by the fire. I sat in 
 yonder little chair when I took her on my lap to rock 
 her to sleep. She broke that piece of furniture; in 
 this corner she used to play with her doll ; and in thus 
 re-ascending the stream of my life, 1 almost entirely 
 lost my consciousness of what was passing around 
 me.
 
 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 249 
 
 Suddenly I heard in the passage the rustling of 
 dresses and the murmur of women's voices. It 
 roused me from my reverie. I rose, went to the door, 
 listened, and soon perceived that the ladies were go- 
 ing to disrobe the bride. 
 
 So all was over between my daughter and myself. 
 The edifice of my life was crumbling into a heap of 
 ruins. Are the hopes of some men made to be 
 crushed like glass under the foot of the passer-by. 
 And I had not even embraced my daughter before 
 being separated from her ! I cautiously left my 
 room, and pausing at every step to listen, went down 
 the staircase and soon found myself seated in the 
 garden on the little bench near the wash-house, 
 where in her childhood she used to beat the clothes 
 with a large beetle she could scarcely lift the wash- 
 erwomen stopped and looked at her with a laugh. 
 I was called from the other end of the garden to see 
 her she was so pretty with her little bare arms, and 
 the face she made as she lifted her burden. Those 
 washing days were happy times ! And now the sun 
 of former years had disappeared ; a wintry wind 
 moaned through the leafless trees, and the stream 
 flowed on beneath the melancholy moonlight ; all na- 
 ture was illumined with bluish rays as mournful as 
 the reflections from steel. In the distance the clock 
 at Favras slowly struck the hour, one by one, like 
 the tolling of a passing bell ; the house soon became 
 silent, and the only light was in the large room on 
 the ground floor which was allotted to the young 
 couple. 
 
 I suddenly rose with a feeling of fury. It seemed 
 as if that apartment was the scene of a most mon- 
 strous crime. I would have liked to destroy the 
 scoundrel who had come among us like a robber, pil- 
 laged me, and trampled my dearest treasures under 
 foot she loved him. 
 
 I perceived that this light would drive me mad if
 
 2$0 BABOLAIN. 
 
 I watched it any longer. I noiselessly re-entered the 
 house, went up to my room, and having wrapped a 
 few articles of underclothing in a handkerchief, walk- 
 ed without even turning my head, towards the high- 
 way, where the mail coach would pass at dawn. 
 
 " Why, bless my heart, Monsieur Babolain, I had 
 no idea I should take you to the city this morning," 
 said the driver, taking my little bundle from my hand. 
 " Make haste ; I'm fifteen minutes behind time." 
 
 The mail coach, which we always called the pa- 
 tache, I don't know why, was hung very high above 
 the wheels and had but one narrow seat, the left 
 hand side of which was occupied by the driver. 
 " You can't get up, wait till I help you." And the 
 honest man, who, spite of the early hour, had already 
 been drinking too much, pulled me roughly towards 
 him. " You arc frozen and you've nothing to cover 
 you ; wrap yourself in the blanket and let's be off. 
 Where the devil are you going in this plight, Mon- 
 sieur Babolain ? " 
 
 " I don't know I am going to Blois it is very 
 cold to-night. Oh! how cold it is," and in fact my 
 teeth were chattering. 
 
 " It is cold, ha ! ha ! Monsieur Babolain, ha ! 
 ha ! " said the driver, bursting into a loud laugh. 
 Then speaking to his mare which was trotting brave- 
 ly along, " Get up, get up, Grisette ! It's cold to-night, 
 but not to everybody, and it's my opinion that there are 
 some people at your house who are not cold. Get 
 up, get up. If she doesn't trot up hill we shall never 
 make up our fifteen minutes." He cracked his whip. 
 " It's not strange, Mademoiselle Babolain is a fine 
 slip of a girl and Monsieur Joseph's a handsome 
 man. Ah ! you're going to laugh; for my part I like 
 these things ; though my hair is grey, I like 'em all the 
 same. When my daughter was married, ha ! ha ! 
 ha ! " He drew his huge fur glove across his nose. 
 "When my daughter was married, ah! that was a
 
 BABOLAIN. 25 1 
 
 time. Get up, get up I wasn't sober for three days, 
 ha ! ha ! on account of the civilities people showed 
 me. It's no lie ; for three days ! There's nothing 
 more jolly than to have a daughter married ; people 
 hug each other in the corners, push, elbow, get red, 
 break the dishes oh ! it's a fine thing. Yes, Mon- 
 sieur Babolain, I wasn't sober If this mare don't 
 get over the ground fast, I don't know where you'll 
 find one that does. I'll astonish you presently ; why, 
 this beast knows what time it is and is trying to 
 make up the fifteen minutes. You'll see that she'll 
 trot up hill without my saying a word to her. It 
 makes no difference, but it's a queer idea to travel 
 at this hour still everybody must attend to his own 
 affairs, of course." He continued to chatter on in 
 this way for a long time. On reaching the Faubourg 
 de Vienne he said, " Where will you get down ? Eh ! 
 Monsieur Babolain, why don't you answer me ? Are 
 you asleep ? " He took the reins in one hand and 
 shook me with the other. " Come, are you dead ? 
 Here's a pretty piece of business. And fifteen min- 
 utes behind time to boot." 
 
 I heard him perfectly well, but I could not speak. 
 I seemed paralyzed by the cold, and my sobs almost 
 suffocated me. He stopped before the door of an 
 inn, got down, and rattled the knocker violently. 
 After an instant's delay a half dressed waiter, in a 
 cotton night-cap, appeared. Both took me out of 
 the carriage and laid me on a billiard table. "It's 
 Monsieur Babolain of Favras, who has been taken ill 
 in my carriage," said the driver, " wake the people 
 up and nurse him carefully. I can't wait, I'm twenty- 
 five minutes behind time." He mounted nimbly to 
 his seat. " Get up, get up," and he went noisily away. 
 
 Again I hovered between life and death for sev- 
 eral months, and when the danger was over, Bernard, 
 who had nursed me with great devotion, said that 
 my recovery would be extremely slow. I was com-
 
 2$2 BABOT.AIN. 
 
 pletely exhausted, my hair had become perfectly 
 white, and I could scarcely recognize myself in the 
 glass. 
 
 My daughter had been compelled to leave Favras 
 almost at the commencement of my sickness, to fol- 
 low her husband, who could not consent to a long 
 stay in the country. I had a vague recollection of 
 this departure it was one evening just after I had 
 had a violent attack ; she entered the room in her 
 travelling dress. I fancied she was going to town, 
 and for weeks, it seems, asked if she had returned. 
 Afterwards when old Marianne, who had remained 
 with me, told me that my children were permanently 
 settled in Paris, when I saw the unfurnished house, the 
 empty rooms, the deserted garden, the clumps of 
 trees choked with brambles, I was astonished not to 
 find myself reduced to despair. One would have 
 said that the power of being moved was utterly de- 
 stroyed within me. Had Providence broken, one by 
 one, all the ties that bound me to this world to ren- 
 der the death I had just miraculously escaped easier 
 for me ? Is there a sort of moral toilette which ren- 
 ders the great passage from life to death less diffi- 
 cult? Thoughts could no longer be formed within 
 my exhausted brain ; my weakness was like a shield 
 which prevented outside impressions from reaching 
 me ; insensible alike to regrets and hopes, without 
 past or future, the hours and days glided by empty 
 and colorless; I looked without seeing, existed with- 
 out living. 
 
 One day when they had rolled my arm chair to 
 the threshold of the door, I saw a stranger who, ac- 
 companied by Marianne, was examining everything 
 with great care. He soon came towards me, and 
 very politely told me that this little property suited 
 him very well. It did not occur to me to think 
 these words strange, and in the evening when told 
 I hat my son-in-law had offered our house for sale, I
 
 B ABO LAIN. 253 
 
 was not disturbed. What did I care for the dwelling, 
 now Valentine had left it ? 
 
 I, too, left this refuge where our lives were to 
 have ended. 
 
 A covered cart came for us at daybreak ; they 
 put in the two boxes which contained all my worldly 
 possessions ; I took in my lap the flowerpot in which 
 was a twig from my daughter's tree, planted before 
 the house with my own hands the morning after we 
 entered it, and we set out. 
 
 A moment comes when we tear a whole chapter 
 from our lives without any very great sorrow. For a 
 long time I could see amid the trees the red roof of the 
 house, the rain gauge, and the poplar by the wash 
 house, and : at a turn in the road all disappeared. 
 
 The old mansion my daughter occupied was very 
 stately in its appearance. It was situated on the Rue 
 du Regard, between two silent convents. The prin- 
 cipal courtyard, which one entered first, was sur- 
 rounded by old stone posts, bound with iron, and 
 connected by heavy chains. A footman, who looked 
 like the beadle of the church at Favras, helped me 
 out of the carriage, supported me, and took me to a 
 room on the first floor. The ^apartment was some- 
 what dull and gloomy ; my first thought on entering 
 the ante-chamber was that my beloved daughter must 
 be heartily tired amid such surroundings. The walls 
 were bare, the furniture was old, faded, and by no 
 means attractive in shape. A door opened, Valentine 
 came to meet me, and bending her forehead to my 
 lips with a manner in which there was a shade of fear, 
 murmured : 
 
 " God has not been deaf to our prayers, father. 
 You have at last recovered your health, let. me take 
 you to the room that has been prepared for you." 
 
 It was nearly a year since we had seen each other, 
 a very long time for a first separation, and I had often
 
 254 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 thought of the first kiss I would give her when I saw her 
 again ; but her manners instantly checked all demon- 
 strations of feeling. I don't think any woman could be 
 more stately than she was then. In addition to the 
 fact that her lovely face had assumed a very grave 
 expression, she was clad in a dark dress, cut high in 
 the throat, and entirely destitute of trimming. Her 
 hair, which formerly curled according to its own will, 
 was now smooth, flat, and covered with a cap whose 
 ruches framed her face in a melancholy way. How 
 different she was from the little girl of former days 
 who compelled me to dance, laughing so heartily at 
 my awkwardness ! Alas, if she could no longer 
 laugh, neither could I dance. Everything changes in 
 life. 
 
 Valentine soon left me with an apology. She had 
 a great many people to receive, she said, and in fact 
 I had heard the bell ring several times with a sound 
 like an ancient bell from a monastery. I remained 
 alone in the dining-room, sitting near the window. 
 Suddenly I saw a heavy, shabby carriage, drawn by a 
 stout horse, enter the courtyard, turn, and stop before 
 the steps of the house. The coachman, who looked 
 like a retired merchant, got down from his seat, 
 opened the door wih great difficulty, and a man 
 alighted who, though still young, had a weary expres- 
 sion, a dull, yellowish complexion, stooping shoul- 
 ders, a face smoothly shaven as a deacon's, and long 
 hair floating over the collar of his coat. His crushed 
 hat rested on the back of his head ; he carried in one 
 hand a quantity of pamphlets and papers, and with 
 the other drew round him an overcoat, which, drag- 
 ing on the ground, seemed to follow him reluctantly. 
 He wore a black coat, with square-cut skirls, much 
 too large for him, and buttoned awry. The retired 
 merchant took out a black box with a handle, and a 
 foot muff, and followed his master, who had already 
 entered the vestibule.
 
 B ABO LAIN. 255 
 
 It was some instants before I recognized Valen- 
 tine's husband in the personage with the coat so much 
 too large for him. I greatly dreaded meeting him,for 
 I always felt an emotion of mingled antipathy and 
 terror. Fortunately his cold, polite welcome greatly 
 simplified matters. He spoke to me as if he had 
 parted from me that very morning. 
 
 " How do you do, father," said he, in a faint 
 voice, " the journey must have fatigued you." 
 
 " Good-morning, I really have very little strength." 
 " Let me see your tongue. It is terrible." 
 He drew a large silver watch from his pocket and 
 looked sternly at the face while he felt my pulse, 
 then listened at my back, looked steadily at me, and 
 went away without saying anything. I was very glad 
 of it. 
 
 One might have thought, and at first I myself be- 
 lieved, that in her husband's company Valentine was 
 the most wretched of women ; but I was soon unde- 
 ceived : my daughter loved Joseph with all her heart, 
 and wished for nothing beyond the life she was lead- 
 ing. She rose early in the morning, wrote until a very 
 late hour at night, and during the whole day cither 
 received company or went out; but whenever one met 
 her she was preoccupied and seemed to be late for 
 some appointment. Often, in the midst of the meals, 
 which were quickly despatched though very abun- 
 dant, especially on fast days my son-in-law being 
 fond of good living I saw them exchange glances 
 which were like mute confidences. Then I hastily 
 looked at my plate and dared not raise my eyes. At 
 other times they uttered fragments of sentences whose 
 meaning I could not understand. Valentine drew a 
 little memorandum book from her pocket and hastily 
 took a note. By a thousand incidents I perceived 
 that there was a perfect understanding between them. 
 At times they had the appearance of partners settling 
 some business matter. I thought I understood that
 
 256 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 they went into society in the Faubourg Saint Ger- 
 main, and in some way or other were playing an im- 
 portant part. My daughter, who had connections 
 with a great many persons, also maintained an exten- 
 sive correspondence. She was treasurer of a chari- 
 table society, which was also pervaded with some 
 flavor of politics I could never exactly define. 
 
 My children's seriousness was, moreover, more 
 apparent than real : they were joyous at certain pe- 
 riods; twenty times I surprised Valentine passing her 
 white hand over her old young husband's pale fore- 
 head, and looking at him with an expression of mingled 
 tenderness and admiration. By what moral malady 
 could she be attacked to love this fellow. Doubt- 
 less she was attracted by his energy, his ambitious 
 projects, with which she was associated ! She must 
 consider him a hero ! And then this new life was so 
 different from her former existence. All this charmed 
 her; she was grateful to him for his relations, his in- 
 fluence, his mansion, his establishment the sight of 
 me, which recalled constraint and obscurity, could not 
 be agreeable to her. I did everything in the world 
 that I might not be in their way : I tried to pass unob 
 served ; 1 entered the dining-room just in time to sit 
 down to the table, and went away as soon as I had 
 swallowed the last mouthful, clearly understanding 
 that they took pleasure in being together and talking 
 freely. I have spent very sorrowful hours in that little 
 room, which 1 dared not leave, lest I might be intru- 
 sive. Jf I had been able to unpack my boxes 
 but there was not room. They were in a corner, 
 piled one above another; I looked at them, saying to 
 myself: " There are my books, my papers, and a 
 thousand little keepsakes whose possession would 
 change my whole life.'' I was like a shipwrecked 
 man, who sees the land and cannot reach it. To 
 open those boxes and spread out my treasures had 
 become an ideal vision to me.
 
 BABOLAIX. 257 
 
 One day as I came in to breakfast, my son-in-law, 
 who was looking over some letters, said to his wife, 
 " Why, here is some news from Favras ! " I could not 
 help starting. " The business is settled, 1 ' he added. 
 
 " Hum ! hum ! " said Valentine. 
 
 He threw down the letter and turned to the serv- 
 ant. " Are there many people in the drawing-room, 
 Frangois ? " 
 
 " They're beginning to come in to. wait for Mon- 
 sieur's office hours ; there are ten people already, and 
 five are monks." 
 
 " Ah ! five holy Fathers already ! You are very 
 attentive to them, Frangois, are you not ? I particu- 
 larly insist upon it." 
 
 " Day before yesterday," observed Valentine, " I 
 saw all their dripping cloaks piled upon the table in 
 the ante-room." 
 
 " Poor Fathers, they had been out in the rain." 
 
 " And the floor was drenched. You must attend 
 to this matter, Frangois." 
 
 " Madame may be sure that I do my best. I've 
 washed up the ante-chamber and laid a carpet on the 
 room where they walk up and down to wait for the 
 office hours." 
 
 "It's provoking that the holy Fathers should be 
 kept waiting," murmured my son-in-law. " their time 
 is precious. It's absolutely indispensable to have a 
 private waiting-room near my office. I've said so a 
 hundred times." 
 
 " Hum ! hum ! " said Valentine. 
 
 " Hum ! hum ! " replied her husband. 
 
 The evening of that very day I was in my room, 
 watering the slip I had brought from Favras, when I 
 heard a loud knock at the door. Valentine entered. 
 She must have some important reason for coming to 
 pay me a visit, and I feared that I might read traces 
 of annoyance in her face. I set down the carafe and 
 hastily pushed the slip into a corner. 
 17
 
 258 BABOLAIN. 
 
 Far from being angry, she said smiling: "What is 
 the bit of wood in that little flower pot ? " 
 
 " Oh, nothing, my dear a little tree." 
 
 " That withered twig ! " 
 
 " Yes, it's a slip. I was watering it a little, it isn't 
 dead; one might think so, but it isn't." 
 
 I was reassured by the pleasant expression of her 
 face, even thought for a moment that my daughter 
 was restored to me, and the idea of clasping her in 
 my arms suddenly entered my head, but from motives 
 of prudence I succeeded in controlling myself and 
 continued : " It's a little branch from your tree ; I 
 brought it from Favras." It seemed as if I was breath- 
 ing a whiff of its invigorating air. " I wanted to take 
 something before I came away, you know." 
 
 " Poor father," murmured Valentine, smiling at 
 me as we soothe a child. " My poor papa, you have 
 been deeply grieved. Such a leave-taking is always 
 painful at first." 
 
 " The grass was full of violets." 
 
 " Of course, it's the season for them." 
 
 " There were beautiful little fresh leaves every- 
 where and so many memories. You remember the 
 new ivy? Well, I measured it before I came away, 
 it reaches to the study window. Oh ! Favras is a 
 pretty estate. Yes, of course I was a little sorry to 
 leave our trees ; at my age we don't always have time 
 to make new friends. They tossed their boughs 
 when they saw me go away. Perhaps it was the 
 wind, perhaps it was also emotion. Who knows ? 
 These beings have more feeling than people think. 
 They all spoke of you. ' You'll tell Valentine not to 
 forget us entirely, won't you, my friend? She played 
 under our branches ; we have sheltered, protected, 
 possessed her ' that's what they said, and many other 
 things too. It's a certain fact that they have retain- 
 ed the invisible trace of your passage, and everything, 
 the walls of the house, the very sand on the walks 
 was pervaded with your image
 
 B ABO LAIN. 259 
 
 I did not look at her while saying all this, I was 
 scraping the wood of the arm-chair with my nail, 
 hunting a grain of dust, that I might not allow her to 
 perceive my emotion ; but I felt her eyes fixed upon 
 me with a glance of mingled tenderness and compas- 
 sion. She was doubtless thinking : " Poor father, 
 how old and broken he is ! " And at the same time 
 she thought me very silly to talk to the trees and plant 
 half-dead twigs in little flower-pots. Yet I could 
 not help adding : " Before I came away I sat down 
 on your bench near the willows and the river began 
 to prattle. If you knew what a memory it has ? 
 When you went there you fancied yourself alone, you 
 were in the shade, in the open air, you thought with- 
 out restraint ; well, the river heard you think, and 
 wrote all this on its tablets ; on the stems of the tall 
 grasses, under the leaves of the water-lilies, in the 
 nooks of the bank I have found the treasure again. 
 It has kept portraits of you, all of which I have seen. 
 There are some when you were very small, in your 
 little hat and blue plaid dress do you remember 
 your blue plaid dress ? and others when you were a 
 large girl, and still others There were thousands 
 of them, for the river has never reflected the smallest 
 fragment of you without tenderly preserving the 
 image. Thus, my darling, affection surrounds you 
 unconsciously to yourself, and one is beloved without 
 desiring it. There are spots on the lawn where you 
 planted your little heel, and the grass has withered." 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! why, that is very poetical, my 
 poor father, let us be sensible." 
 
 "Yes, the grass didn't grow again, and it was 
 right ; why not die under a pleasant impression, bear- 
 ing away a memory, a caress. Plants have hearts. 
 Who will ever know what your tree felt when I bade 
 it farewell and cut off a little branch ? " 
 
 " Come, come my poor papa. You must calm 
 yourself. Is that clock right ? "
 
 26O BABOLAIN. 
 
 "I don't know, my dear. The clock yonder 
 struck the hours exactly, whether th'ey were sad or 
 happy. It always struck, and it is natural, clocks 
 are made to strike ; one might suppose them indif- 
 ferent, but to a delicate ear how many variations 
 there are in the sound." 
 
 " No doubt, but one ought not to let one's imag- 
 ination run riot in this way. Besides I'm in a hurry, 
 and I believe this clock is slow, and then it is bad to 
 consume one's life in useless regrets. You know 
 very well, and have confessed yourself, that my hus- 
 band, being detained in Paris by his profession, could 
 not keep the little hermitage at Favras." 
 
 " Oh ! of course, my dear, you couldn't keep the 
 little place, and besides it wasn't handsome enough 
 for you." 
 
 " Poor papa ! You see my husband has left you 
 to enjoy it as long as possible. During your long ill- 
 ness and convalescence you were left there perfectly 
 quiet, perfectly at home, and to all the offers that were 
 made him my husband invariably replied, ' Favras 
 won't be sold until my father-in-law's health is entire- 
 ly restored, and he is settled in Paris.' " 
 
 " I am very grateful to you, my child ; I delayed 
 the sale most unintentionally, but ten opportunities 
 will occur in place of one, it is so pretty, oh ! you 
 will easily find a purchaser." 
 
 "That is done already; my husband learned it 
 this morning from a letter. Favras is sold." 
 
 " Sold ! " I cried in spite of myself, but instantly 
 regained my self-command and added : " So much 
 the better, so much the better, since you want to get 
 rid of it." 
 
 " You have everything you need, haven't you, my 
 poor father?" 
 
 " Yes, my child, thank you." 
 
 "You are at home in this house, you must not be 
 under any restraint, I should be distressed if you
 
 B ABO LAIN. 26l 
 
 hesitated to ask for what you want. But it isn't good 
 for you to occupy this room. It faces the north, and 
 is exposed to the wind." 
 
 " I have not noticed it." 
 
 "The wind is terrible on this side, and then these 
 windows look out upon the gardens; it's very dull 
 for you here. Fortunately I have a better one to of- 
 fer you : at the other end of the suite of apartments 
 there is a very cheerful chamber, looking out upon 
 the court-yard and facing the south. You will see 
 the people passing in and out, and have a Prussian 
 fire-place, which is excellent. My husband says that 
 merely on account of your health, you must " 
 
 "As you choose, my children, I shall be comforta- 
 ble anywhere." 
 
 "Then it's all settled; good-bye father. I'm very 
 late." 
 
 One cannot form an idea of the grace and charm 
 of her whole manner; she went away smiling at me. 
 I would willingly have lived in a cellar to be some- 
 times cheered by one of those smiles. 
 
 An hour after, the footman entered ; he came by 
 my daughter's orders to assist in removing my bag- 
 gage to another room, and began to rummage through 
 the drawers in the bureau. I should have greatly 
 preferred to have him let me do it, for my linen I 
 knew had been neglected a long time, and the cloth 
 I had bought of a weaver in Favras was very coarse 
 and rough. I trembled lest the footman should no- 
 tice all this, not for myself, but my daughter, who 
 might be affected by her servant's opinion. 
 
 " I'm really very sorry to give you this trouble," 
 I said to the man. 
 
 " Madame told me to do it," he answered, contin- 
 uing his work. 
 
 " My daughter is too kind she thinks of every- 
 thing I am sure you must feel great affection for 
 her, don't you ? "
 
 262 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 " Everybody does Madame justice." 
 
 I knew very well that it was not proper to talk so, 
 but I had so little opportunity to speak of her, and 
 besides the man's coldness excited me. " My daugh- 
 ter is a superior woman. When she was a child her 
 reflections astonished " 
 
 " Does Monsieur want me to move the boxes 
 too ? " 
 
 " I don't care. My daughter is hasty, I confess, 
 but when she is angry or impatient for a moment, you 
 must not be vexed. A cross word scarcely escapes 
 her lips before she is sorry for it you see I know my 
 daughter thoroughly. Stop, my friend, let me help 
 you, you are too much loaded to open the door. Is 
 the room where we are going at the end of this pas- 
 sage ? " It was a closet rather than a bed-room, but 
 by means of pushing the bed a little farther back, 
 and giving up a wardrobe, which, moreover, was of 
 no great use to me, I succeeded in making room for 
 an arm chair and a small table near the window. 
 After all, I did not need a larger room. This re- 
 minded me of the little chamber at the normal school, 
 where I had had so many dreams, so many plans for the 
 future. Did not Providence, in perpetually pushing 
 roe into a little corner, act the part of a good mother, 
 seek to prove the folly of my ambition, and recall me 
 to reason ? 
 
 Thanks to the footman, who was very willing to 
 help me, I removed the lid of one of my boxes and 
 set about adorning my cell. The first object which 
 came to hand was the very one that was clearest to 
 me, a plan of Favras I had made myself, and in 
 which the smallest corners of the estate had been 
 carefully marked the bench by the wash-house, 
 the rain-gauge, Valentine's tree, the sun-dial, and the 
 different places where I had let my daughter play. 
 Everywhere there were dots, signs, numbers, which 
 recalled a happy or sorrowful memory. It was like
 
 BABOLAIN. 263 
 
 a library, where I found all the chapters of twenty 
 years of my life ; a cemetery too, where the emotions 
 of former days rested peacefully under their little 
 black crosses. 
 
 I hung this drawing by the side of a portrait of 
 my Valentine, and a sketch in ink and red pencil my 
 wife had made for her great picture of Cain and 
 Abel. 
 
 I had been on the point of burning this sketch a 
 hundred times, but could never resolve to do so. Sor- 
 rows and joys are the black and white stones of the 
 same edifice ; the former support the latter. Not an 
 hour of existence can be effaced or cursed, the most 
 miserable have been necessary, and were sometimes 
 the keystones of the arches which have prevented 
 the whole building from falling. 
 
 I was soon settled in my cabin. I seemed to my- 
 self like a passenger on a ship true, I had not all 
 my comforts, but I improved my situation every day, 
 and then I was only separated by a partition from the 
 room where my daughter worked, so I could hear her 
 move, knew that she was near me. She came to see 
 me once, but by some inconceivable fatality the bot- 
 tom of her dress caught on one of the nails of a box, 
 and a large rent was torn which put her in an ill- 
 temper. She reproached me sharply for my want of 
 neatness, assuring me that she should be humiliated 
 in her servants' eyes but what is the use of recalling 
 all this ? She had torn her dress, that fully explained 
 her irritation, besides it is true that my chamber was 
 very untidy, I had so little room. 
 
 One evening, when there had been company at 
 dinner, my daughter said somewhat tartly: " I know 
 people are not foppish at your age, my poor father, 
 but really, neglect of one's person has some limits, 
 and we ought to avoid certain styles of dress from re- 
 spect to others." 
 
 Yet I had worn my chestnut coat, as I always did
 
 264 BABOT.AIN. 
 
 to dine with my children. " I thought I was suitably 
 dressed," I said, in an embarrassed tone. " It is be- 
 cause I have no other coat, my dear, or at least the 
 others are far less presentable than, this." 
 
 " Well; buy some, what shall I say to you ? I can't 
 write to your tailor myself. You'll go so far that my 
 husband's patience will be exhausted. For my part, 
 I haven't the strength to be a shield between you per- 
 petually, to be constantly soothing, excusing, pallia- 
 ting. At least make some exertion to render the task 
 less difficult." 
 
 How could I have displeased my son-in-law ? We 
 did not exchange ten words a week. I entered my 
 room and carefully examined my coat. Its condition, 
 I must say, was much worse than I had supposed ; 
 several buttons were missing, the seams were white, 
 and the elbow was even My children must certainly 
 be ashamed of me, and the idea had never entered 
 my head. In a moment of despair, I snatched off my 
 cravat and collar; I already saw my son-in-law driv- 
 ing me from the house like a beggar. The important 
 point was to secure some clothes as soon as possible ; 
 but when I had taken the little canvas bag in which 
 I kept my money out of my trunk, and spread the 
 copper and silver coins on the table, I perceived with 
 terror that my whole fortune did not exceed thirty- 
 two francs. 
 
 It was a most depressing feeling. I did not re- 
 proach myself for having given my daughter what I 
 possessed ; if I had had it to do over again, I should 
 have taken the same course, but I realized for the 
 first time that 1 should always be dependent upon my 
 son-in-law. Fortunately 1 remembered the publisher 
 of my dictionary, of which I had heard nothing for 
 two years. 1 went there early the next morning, not 
 witiiout difficulty, for my limbs were still very weak. 
 On finding myself again in the book store which I had 
 once entered with so much confidence, I almost lost
 
 BABOLAIN. 265 
 
 courage, I felt so aged, so changed, so humiliated, in 
 my chestnut coat. Ah ! I should have gone away 
 immediately if the point in question had not been to 
 buy new clothes. When I said that I came in be- 
 half of Monsieur Babolain, the publisher looked earn- 
 estly at me, no doubt he had some vague idea that 
 he knew me. " The dictionary is sold very little 
 now," said he ; " it was a good book, but is now 
 strangely out of fashion. It's possible there may be 
 a balance due on the account, I'll see about it." 
 
 He approached a green tube that hung over his 
 table, and put the opening to his mouth. 
 
 " It's possible there may be a balance due on the 
 account," I thought " but suppose they owe me noth- 
 ing what is to be done then ? " 
 
 " What has become of Monsieur Babolain ? " said 
 he, looking at me again with an expression of mingled 
 curiosity and compassion. 
 
 " He has met with reverses," I replied, " many 
 little troubles, and therefore sees very few people." 
 
 " But he hasn't given up work on that account ? " 
 
 " Ah ! no, and even in his peculiar position, I 
 think he would be glad to have some occupation." 
 
 " I'll willingly afford him an opportunity from time 
 to time, if Monsieur Babolain would revise certain 
 books we publish, whose proof-sheets require the ex- 
 perience of a professional man. This sort of work is 
 poorly paid, it is true, but " 
 
 It seemed as if heaven was opening before me. 
 So I had the means of being a burden to no one, I 
 was going to work again, as in former days, and recover 
 my self-respect. Into what a gulf I should have 
 fallen but for this unexpected offer. 
 
 A clerk entered and placed a paper upon the 
 desk. 
 
 "According to this account, we owe Monsieur 
 Babolain three hundred and ninety-five francs for his 
 copyright." The clerk retired and the publisher took
 
 266 BABOLAIN'. 
 
 a five-hundred-franc note from a drawer and handed 
 it to me. " Will you give me a receipt ? " said he. 
 
 My eyes were dim with grateful tears, while a 
 feeling of shame for having concealed my- name 
 made me blush. 
 
 " Excuse me, Monsieur," I murmured, " I did not 
 dare to tell you the truth : I am Babolain, the author 
 of the dictionary." 
 
 " You're not so much changed that one wouldn't 
 recognize you," he said smiling; " good-bye, Mon- 
 sieur Babolain, good-bye." 
 
 Once in the street, I was surprised to find myself 
 inspired with a strength and energy I had not pos- 
 sessed before. The five hundred francs in my pocket, 
 and the publishers words gave me fresh courage. 
 "No, I'm not worn out," I said to myself. " If people 
 offer me work after twenty years of forge t.fuln ess, my 
 scientific value must have been real. Wasn't I pro- 
 fessor of mathematics at twenty eight ? My dear old 
 class room ! How could I have forgotten mathemat- 
 ics so long ? " I now felt all the shame of this deser- 
 tion, but there was still time to make amends, to 
 compel my son-in-law to consider me his equal, to be 
 really the head of the family. I entered a ready- 
 made clothing shop without the slightest embarrass- 
 ment, and in a very short time selected a black suit 
 which they assured me was the best article they had. 
 I even allowed myself to be persuaded to take a vel- 
 vet vest with small blue and white flowers, a vest in 
 which it seems a man of my age could attend either 
 a dinner or ball, it suited me exactly ; but I must add 
 that I never had occasion to put it on, in conse- 
 quence of a very important event which made a great 
 change in my life. 
 
 Valentine's health was not good ; I had been in 
 the habit of observing closely for too long a time 
 not to perceive a thousand alarming symptoms. She 
 had had several attacks of indisposition, one after
 
 BABOLAIN. 267 
 
 another, which disturbed me all the more because 
 her husband treated the whole affair with inconceiv- 
 able nonchalance. He would not even hear the very 
 moderate, though firm representations, I thought it 
 my duty to make on this subject. Meantime I was 
 about to urge the matter, as my title of father author- 
 ized me to do, when I was roused one night by 
 strange sounds, amid which I clearly distinguished 
 stifled moans. I was out of bed in an instant, and 
 rushing into the passage, ran into the arms of the 
 footman who was hurrying by. 
 
 " Bless my soul and body," he cried. 
 
 " What's the matter, my friend, what's the mat- 
 ter?" 
 
 "Monsieur bumped my head, I beg Monsieur's 
 pardon." 
 
 And he disappeared. I followed him and crossed 
 the drawing-room, where a candle was burning; I 
 was suffering torture, but it never entered my brain 
 that my Valentine was about to become a mother. 
 Yet this was tha fact : my son in-law told me so, 
 while shutting the door in my face. I know very well 
 that my presence might be troublesome at such a 
 time, but it would have been sufficient to say : " Go 
 away, father," and I should have retired. Yet it was 
 impossible for me to stay in one place. I went down 
 to the kitchen to find some one who could tell me 
 about my daughter. The nurse, who had been hastily 
 summoned and was eating some soup with the cook, 
 burst into a loud laugh as she caught sight of me : 
 indeed I was in the lightest possible dress. Propriety 
 commanding me not to remain longer in the presence 
 of two women in such a condition, I went up to the 
 entry where I paced up and down until dawn, in the 
 greatest agitation. I dare not say that I shared my 
 daughter's sufferings, but with what joy I would have 
 taken the larger share of them, had it been possible ! 
 To say to myself: "My darling Valentine is terribly
 
 268 BABOLAIN. 
 
 ill, perhaps her life is in danger, her moans pierce my 
 heart " and be obliged to pace silently up and down 
 the corridor. I stopped everybody who passed. 
 
 " How is she ? " I said anxiously. 
 
 " Very well," was the reply, " very well, very 
 well." 
 
 They were evidently deceiving me, for the moans 
 grew louder and louder. 
 
 " It's a boy," cried the maid, rushing out of the 
 room. 
 
 A few minutes after, my son-in-law and the phy- 
 sician came out of the chamber. 
 
 I rushed to meet them. " It's a boy," I ex- 
 claimed, " how is my daughter ? " 
 
 " My father-in-law," said Joseph, shrugging his 
 shoulders as he turned to the doctor, and then 
 added : "but Monsieur, for God's sake, go and dress 
 yourself. What are you doing here in this condi- 
 tion ? Mother and child are doing admirably well. 
 Go, Monsieur, go." 
 
 It was not until two or three hours after that I 
 was allowed to enter my daughter's room, yet I re- 
 mained only an instant. The nurse, who seemed 
 like a veritable dragon, had positive orders, and 
 would not let me say a word ; my heart was full. 
 Scarcely had I kissed Valentine's hand for she sum- 
 moned up strength to hold out her hand to me when 
 I was pushed towards the cradle where my grandson 
 was sleeping, and put outside the door almost imme- 
 diately. I dared not say anything lest they should 
 be still more strict another time, but when I returned 
 to my room I began to weep. They were foolish 
 tears, but I had never entirely recovered from my se- 
 vere illness, and had moments of extreme moral and 
 physical weakness. I dressed myself, took the hun- 
 dred and fifty francs I had left, and went out; my 
 plan was formed, I wanted to give my daughter some 
 little trinket for a remembrance of her son's birth.
 
 BABOLAIN. 269 
 
 After hesitating a long time I decided upon a locket 
 which would hold hair ; and as this purchase reduced 
 my resources to almost nothing, I went to my pub- 
 lisher to remind him of his promise, and ask for some 
 work. He gave me a tolerably large number of 
 proof-sheets which I was to revise with great care, 
 and pointed out very minutely the spirit in which I 
 was to make the corrections and annotations. In 
 short, all this occupied a long time, and I returned 
 to the house at a very late hour. On seeing me pass 
 through the courtyard, the footman came out of the 
 kitchen and coming up to me, said : " You needn't 
 go up the main staircase, Monsieur, I've moved all 
 your things to your new room." 
 
 I dared not ask for any explanations, and without 
 saying a word, allowed myself to be conducted to a 
 small door near the stable, which opened upon a 
 narrow staircase that led to the attic. Fran9ois was 
 doubtless a little spiteful in making me go up this 
 way, for at the end of the wide hall where I had 
 wandered up and down all night, was a door that 
 opened upon the back stairs ; in fact, I usually went 
 up to my chamber through it. 
 
 " Monsieur will have more room here," said the 
 servant, ushering me into an apartment with a tiled 
 floor and sloping roof, it is true, but very large ; 
 "there's another one adjoining it, where we have put 
 Monsieur's bed." 
 
 " It is very comfortable, thank you ; dinner will 
 soon be ready, won't it ? " 
 
 " The doctor can't come home until very late, so 
 he has given orders that you should have your dinner 
 in your own room." 
 
 " My son-in-law has done right." 
 
 A quarter of an hour after, the cook, panting vio- 
 lently, set upon the table the dish that contained my 
 dinner. This woman, who never lost an opportunity 
 of being disagreeable, gave me to understand that if
 
 2/O B ABO LAIN. 
 
 my dinner was to be served in my room every day, 
 she should soon be obliged to give up her place. 
 She said many other things that were somewhat 
 harsh, but I excused her without difficulty and even 
 tried to soothe her, for the heat of the stove and the 
 continual inhalation of carbonic acid makes cooks 
 irritable. It was a fact that my change of lodgings 
 would give the servants increased work, and I saw 
 clearly that I should be obliged to use great care in 
 future to keep the peace with them. 
 
 That evening I entered my children's room 
 through the door that opened upon the corridor. 
 My daughter was asleep, my son-in-law had not re- 
 turned, and I heard my little grandson in my old 
 room crying in a sweet, clear voice, accompanied by 
 a song from his nurse. 
 
 Thus I at last discovered the reason of my re- 
 moval, and was perfectly satisfied. They had not 
 made me go up stairs from caprice, but as a matter 
 of necessity to make room for the little man. I re- 
 turned to my chamber. Unfortunately they had for- 
 gotten to put candles in the candlesticks, and a ter- 
 rible draught came through the window. I replaced 
 the missing curtain with my chestnut colored coat, 
 which was not risking much, and groped my way to 
 bed. I should have been very comfortable, but for 
 the disagreeable smell of a pipe which penetrated 
 into my room about eleven o'clock. One of my 
 neighbors, the coachman, footman, or cook undoubt- 
 edly smoked to excess. 
 
 During my daughter's convalescence, I must say 
 that 1 was very happy. Scarcely had my son-in-law 
 gone out when I went down to her room, and it did 
 not seem to annoy her. Finding herself still too 
 weak to receive visits or employ herself in any way, 
 she was not displeased to have her old papa to keep 
 her company, read the paper to her, bring her her 
 child, or pass her her chaplet. She listened without
 
 BAKOLAIN. 271 
 
 vexation, and often with smiles to the little allusions 
 I made to our house in Favras, and was more unre- 
 served about her own affairs than she had ever been 
 before. She showed me a prayer book she had re- 
 ceived from Monseigneur de Pansol, and a little gold 
 cross the Marquise de Veilizy had given her. Then 
 as secretary and treasurer of that charitable society, 
 whose object I never clearly understood, but whose 
 head-quarters were at Rome, she had obtained sev- 
 eral precious relics from a cardinal, thanks to the in- 
 tercession of that great Roman lady, the Comtesse 
 de Monte Re villa, who at the time of the marriage 
 had shown herself a most devoted friend of my 
 wife's it needed these little enjoyments of self-love 
 to make my dear daughter undertake the labor to 
 which she submitted. Twice a month she forwarded 
 to Rome a most minute report of the progress of the 
 charitable society and its various members. She 
 performed this task from verbal directions given her 
 every day by her husband, of whose genius she was 
 never weary of talking. I listened to her gladly, ap- 
 proved, admired everything these confidential con- 
 versations gave me so much pleasure. Then George 
 grew restless my little grandson's name was George 
 got angry, and screamed furiously. I took him in 
 my arms, and he stopped at once, often even smiled 
 through his tears. The nurse, with whom I was on 
 excellent terms I always got along with nurses de- 
 clared she had never seen anything like it, and it was 
 a new thing to me also : some one who instinctively 
 held out his arms and was happy in my caresses. So 
 whenever the little fellow was fractious, Valentine 
 said: " Go for his grandpapa." 
 
 Often amid these joys we heard the roll of a 
 carriage. 
 
 " It is my husband," murmured Valentine, and I es- 
 caped to my room as fast as possible. I now saw that 
 my heart had not deceived me : my daughter loved me
 
 2/2 BABOLAIN. 
 
 sincerely. Apparently undemonstrative, as is often 
 the case in the most affectionate natures, engrossed 
 in her own occupations, and controlled by her hus- 
 band's influence, she had seemed cold and indiffer- 
 ent to me, but a week's seclusion was sufficient to re- 
 store her to her former self. She was a mother now; 
 she understood how ardent and profound is the affec- 
 tion we feel for our children, and my grandson, by 
 his mere presence, was to change my whole life and 
 procure me all this happiness. I became passionately 
 fond of the child. 
 
 I again find these notes cast aside so long ago. 
 The last page bears a date four or five years old. 
 Often during my life I have been tempted to think 
 fate severe; but now that, being less proud, I can 
 look around me without bitterness or anger, I say to 
 myself: " What have I done, oh, God ! to deserve the 
 blessings with which Thou art soothing my last mo- 
 ments, to deserve that my little grandson should wel- 
 come me with a smile on his first entrance upon life, 
 and give me his heart? What have I clone that his 
 little hands should smooth my white hair, his angelic 
 lips press my wrinkled cheeks ; that the sweet angel 
 should nestle in my arms and love me as if I were 
 worthy of affection ? " 
 
 Scarcely had my daughter recovered from her 
 confinement when she returned to her former life with 
 more eagerness than ever. Visitors came in throngs, 
 and she soon had not a moment to herself. She 
 hastily kissed her child in the morning while opening 
 her letters, or getting into her carriage to attend to 
 her business, and so violently that the little creature 
 was frightened. She overwhelmed the nurse with ad- 
 vice and orders, and, always in a hurry, went away 
 with regret. Yet she loved her son with all her heart, 
 I am sure, but the requirements of her position led 
 her on ; she had no time, and perhaps she also knew
 
 BABOLAIN. 273 
 
 I was there to watch over George. My son-in-law, 
 who was becoming more and more famous and busy, 
 was rarely visible, and under any circumstances was 
 not the man to spend his time upon a child. So the 
 little fellow, seeing me always near him, grew accus- 
 tomed to my caresses, to my face, and took pleasure 
 in my attentions, which soon became indispensable 
 to him. It was while holding out his arms to me 
 that he said papa for the first time. And I accepted 
 the boon I defrauded my son-in-law, but why was he 
 never there ? It is no great crime to pick up a piece 
 of good-fortune from which our neighbor turns away. 
 
 I soon devoted all my thoughts and time to my 
 little grandson, and one might say that my life blend- 
 ed with his. 
 
 I cannot think without smiling of the continual 
 anxieties his nurse caused me during the first months 
 of his life. Of course it was of primary importance 
 that this woman should give George the best quality 
 of milk, and consequently that she herself should be 
 in perfect health. What was my uneasiness then 
 when, by her pallor, her increasing melancholy, I had 
 proof that some secret sorrow was undermining her 
 constitution ? I never left her, lavished attentions 
 upon her, and having gained her confidence learned 
 that she was weak enough to love far too well a hus- 
 band who remained in the country and gave her every 
 reason for being jealous. The wretch was continu- 
 ally writing letters in which he demanded money, 
 threatening to come to Paris at once if he did not re- 
 ceive a reply in accordance with his wishes. When 
 our means of satisfying him were exhausted we were 
 obliged to parley, find excuses, invent a thousand 
 falsehoods, which made me blush to the roots of my 
 hair. Oh ! if my little George's milk had not been 
 directly threatened. 
 
 " Monsieur," said the poor woman, " my husband is 
 a dreadful man, but I love him for all that," and for
 
 2/4 BABOLAIN. 
 
 the hundredth time she told me the story of his court- 
 ship. They had seen each other for the first time at 
 a rural fete, mounted on wooden horses 
 
 Thank God, my little grandson passed through 
 this first period of infancy without any serious acci- 
 dent. The nurse returned to her faithless husband, 
 and our old Marianne from Favras, whom my daugh- 
 ter had always kept as a seamstress, was installed in 
 her place. 
 
 She taught the little fellow the way to the attic, 
 grandpapa's roost, where we spend a part of our 
 lives. He already opens the door leading to the 
 back stairs himself, and I can hear the sound of his 
 hurrying little feet, and the toctoc he makes with his 
 dimpled hand. H[s visits are my great happiness, but 
 I now avoid going into his room or to my children's 
 apartments. I have the fears of the privileged char- 
 acter, who only asks to be allowed to pass unnoticed, 
 Therefore I was not at all troubled when the serv- 
 ants, from habit, continued to bring my meals to my 
 room. Valentine, who doubtless supposed I had re- 
 quested it, and moreover often had a great many 
 guests at her table, made no remark. It was tacitly 
 settled that I should not come down without a spe- 
 cial invitation. This was a relief to everybody I 
 preferred to love my daughter at a distance, and see 
 her in my memory. 
 
 One would have said that in the presence of his 
 father and mother George shared my constraint. 
 Children are so keen in their estimation of the ca- 
 resses we give them. I never saw him show his 
 feelings with perfect freedom, except up above in 
 our room, in my little garret. But how he makes 
 up for lost time ! How his eyes sparkle when he 
 comes in ! How he jumps into my arms, rummages 
 in every corner, inspects, examines, overwhelms me 
 with whys and wherefores with the freedom of a child 
 who knows itself to be beloved ? But he is particu- 
 
 4
 
 BABOLAIN. 275 
 
 larly attentive and earnest when I open my bureau 
 drawer. Here are all my little relics, wrapped in white 
 paper, and carefully ticketed with signs I alone can 
 understand. The contents of these packages have 
 no value except to myself : Valentine's mother's hair, 
 Valentine's picture when a child, shells she picked 
 up in the sand on the garden walks and I afterwards 
 found in my pockets ; ribbons, hair-pins, and a thou- 
 sand things my wife had left at the time of her de- 
 parture for Italy, and which I had never had the 
 courage to throw away. 
 
 How the joys and sorrows of a whole existence 
 are reduced to the most trifling things. All these 
 witnesses of my life could be held in a valise. Yet to 
 everybody else this dusty rubbish. is only fit to be 
 swept away with a broom. Why is it so dear to me ? 
 From fear of curious eyes I have taken refuge with 
 my museum in the second of my two garrets, the 
 back one. Nobody enters here except myself and 
 George when we are in it together, or when I am 
 alone, I put the key on the inside. It is not only to 
 dream at my ease that I shut myself up I do so that 
 I may safely attend to a multitude of household du- 
 ties, and I don't wish to be surprised by the servants 
 with a broom or a needle in my hand lest my daugh- 
 ter might be wounded. Now, if I did not mend my 
 clothes carefully, I should soon be in tatters and 
 could no longer go to walk with George. It is very 
 certain that they would not trust him to me if I look- 
 ed like a beggar; it is perfectly natural. In my 
 daughter's position one is not very glad to have a fa- 
 ther who wears rags. It is of the utmost importance 
 to me always to have a suitable dress. I manage to do 
 so, but not without difficulty : I have always been 
 very awkward, my sight has grown much worse within 
 the last three or four years, and then one must 
 try one's self to know how difficult it is to put, for in- 
 stance, a neat patch on the sleeve of a coat.
 
 2/6 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 And then to repair linings, and darn shirt bosoms ? 
 All this seems like nothing. The more worn the 
 clothes are, the harder it is to mend them. How 
 many times I would have thrown down my work if I 
 had not thought of our walk the next morning ! Ne- 
 cessity makes one ingenious and patient. When 
 people are not sick they find resources in Paris 
 which they would never have imagined. I have 
 found in the Temple, which people avoid, I don't 
 know why, as an evil place, really magnificent oppor- 
 tunities : perfectly new clothes, cut with great skill, 
 and costing very little money. Two years ago I was 
 on the point of buying of the shop-keeper a coat, 
 warmly lined, with a large velvet collar and cuffs, and 
 for which he only asked thirty-six francs. It had not 
 been worn ten times ! Unfortunately at this period 
 I was already destitute of means. I have regretted 
 that garment greatly. 
 
 If I had been able to earn a little money, as my 
 publisher had given me the means of doing, my life 
 would have been greatly simplified ; but after trying 
 for three or four months, I was obliged to confess 
 that all labor had become impossible to me. I could 
 no longer fix my attention ; and if I forced myself to 
 do so was seized in a few minutes with a sort of ver- 
 tigo ; the signs and printed letters whirled before my 
 eyes something was broken within me. It was a 
 very sorrowful time, for as I grew more miserable 
 the memory of my former successes foolishly return- 
 ed to my mind ; I eagerly rummaged through my pa- 
 pers, among my books, sought out my diplomas my 
 poor diplomas. I ended by nailing them to the wall. 
 Where will pride find a hiding-place ? I thought my- 
 self despicable, for I had never wholly lost my pow- 
 ers of criticism and analysis. I said to myself : " You 
 were of some little value once well, what does that 
 prove? your little worm-eaten stool is broken, stay in
 
 BABOLAIN. 277 
 
 your place." My attention was diverted by a crowd 
 of difficulties. 
 
 About this time the sale of my dictionary ceased 
 entirely ; it had had its day, it was only just. To 
 complete my embarrassment the little pension paid 
 me by the ministry was stopped. True, I lived with 
 my children, whose intention undoubtedly was that I 
 should want for nothing ; but my daughter was far 
 too busy, poor child, to see that her orders were 
 obeyed, and the servants forgot or neglected many 
 things of the most absolute necessity. Perhaps they 
 even kept a part of what was intended for me them- 
 selves. I should not allow myself to cast such a sus- 
 picion upon them, if I had not serious reason to do 
 so. They doubtless were not aware of the trouble they 
 caused me, and nothing in the world would have in- 
 duced me to complain of it, for my daughter, who I 
 am sure, really loved me with all her heart, would not 
 have failed to make an example of them, perhaps 
 might have gone beyond all bounds. 
 
 It was far better to bear these little annoyances. 
 Besides, by searching carefully, I found several arti- 
 cles I could do without, and which enabled me for 
 some time to buy a few candles, some wine, and 
 above all coffee I always had the weakness of liking 
 it after dinner and lastly chocolate. I wanted my 
 George to find his lozenges in the green box as long 
 as possible. These were my last days of plenty. Al- 
 though I made great efforts to husband my resources, 
 I was soon reduced to the little the servants brought 
 me, that is, to almost nothing. Twice in succession, 
 in the hope of obtaining something, I went down to 
 my daughter's room at the hour I thought I should 
 disturb her least ; but there were always so many 
 people awaiting an audience that I dared not tell her 
 of my troubles, and I was right: I soon became ac- 
 customed to my new situation. After all, how many 
 poorer people than I would have thought it enviable !
 
 278 BABOLAIN. 
 
 We attach the more value to the joys of life 
 the less numerous they are : those who have only 
 one taste every fragment, and find savors that others 
 would not have imagined. George has given me this 
 one sole joy, he has kept me alive for years. 
 
 I am like an old trunk of a deformed tree, half 
 worm-eaten and with but one root. Dear little fellow ! 
 You shall be happy, God grant you may be happy, 
 my child ! 
 
 Will he be so ? the idea that he may perhaps have 
 the germ of my faults in his nature sometimes haunts 
 me. While he is playing near me I watch him, would 
 fain read his heart. Moral and physical resemblan- 
 ces often overleap a generation. How am I to ex- 
 plain the strange sympathy he shows me, his affec- 
 tion, the pleasure he feels in being near me except 
 by a similarity of character, a harmony of tastes it 
 is really alarming ! 
 
 At certain times I would fain have him less indul- 
 gent to me, judge me more harshly, that at some fu- 
 ture day he might say to himself, " Everything my poor 
 grandfather did is exactly what I must avoid." It is 
 something in life to have black specks on the stones 
 upon which we ought not to step. While waiting for 
 him to know me, I must not suffer him to love me 
 blindly, it is taking advantage of his simplicity, pre- 
 venting him from forming an impartial judgment 
 concerning me. Hut where could 1 find courage to 
 say : " My child, I am not the man you suppose ; the 
 condition in which you see me is not unjust, as you 
 might imagine, but the logical consequences of a life 
 full of culpable errors." 
 
 A man does not end his days as I am doing, by 
 accident; it is not by chance that all who have known 
 him abandon him, and he at last dies in poverty and 
 loneliness. In all this there is a well-merited pun- 
 ishment, the trace of an immutable justice. I will 
 not add to my calamities the cowardice of suspecting
 
 BABOLAIN. 2/9 
 
 and accusing others. The real author of the fault is 
 not always the one who commits it: is not the 
 wretched man who makes it possible, still more 
 guilty ? Thou art not deceived, oh ! my God, and it 
 is for this that Thou dost punish me. 
 
 The other day, about three o'clock in the after- 
 noon, he came to me eating his bread and preserve. 
 I had fasted since the evening before, for the servants 
 had not yet brought my breakfast, and was very hun- 
 gry, so I smilingly asked for a piece of it. He 
 joyfully offered me the whole. While I was eating 
 this mouthful of bread, perhaps with too much appe- 
 tite, he looked steadily at me with an expression of 
 astonishment, then left his luncheon on the corner 
 of the table as if no longer hungry, and began to 
 play with a great affectation of eagerness, to give me 
 time to eat the whole slice. Ever and anon I met 
 his large searching eyes fixed upon me. 
 
 When about to go away, he threw his little arms 
 around my neck and kissed me three times very af- 
 fectionately. 
 
 Undoubtedly he is too well aware of my troubles, 
 but how is it to be helped ? He divines my thoughts, 
 poor child. He loves me, that is perfectly evident. 
 Ever since that day when he comes to lunch in my 
 room his slice of bread is larger, and his kind heart 
 inspires him with a thousand pretexts to make me 
 accept half. It is useless for me to refuse, to assure 
 him that I have just had my breakfast he will listen 
 to nothing, urges, entreats, pulls out of his pocket 
 parcels of carefully packed provisions, arranges the 
 whole upon a corner of the table, draws up a chair, 
 pushes a little stool forward, and we dine together, 
 while radiant with delight and proud of his triumph, 
 he does the honors, pretending with shouts of laugh- 
 ter that the chocolate lozenges are roast chickens, 
 and the bits of bread asparagus and green peas. I 
 am so happy in yielding to him, I alone, yes, I alone
 
 28O B ABO LAIN. 
 
 know how much kindness and goodness he has in 
 his heart. 
 
 Is it old age that draws me so near him ? I do 
 not know, but his influence over me is irresistible. 
 When he has been in my room ten minutes, I feel 
 that my individuality is merged in his, his ideas be- 
 come mine, I see with his eyes, share his emotions, 
 am deluded by his fancies, and this without effort, in 
 spite of myself. With what joy we prance side by 
 side through the fairy kingdom where the very young 
 and very old meet and understand each other. 
 
 When he nestles up to me, puts his little legs un- 
 der my dressing-gown, looks at me with his beaming 
 eyes, and says : " Come, grandpapa, shall we talk 
 about Cinderella ? " it seems as if a ray of sunlight 
 enters the room. 
 
 " There never was any Cinderella, was there, 
 grandpa ? " 
 
 " No, my dear, but that makes no difference, it's 
 a pretty story." 
 
 " It's a pity it never happened. Peau cl'Ane 
 never happened either. Then there are no fairies. 
 But that's not certain, I should like it better if there 
 were some. Say, grandpa, do you dream of fairies at 
 night? " 
 
 " Not often, dear." 
 
 " Oh ! I do, I dream of the fairies. After all, 
 grandpa, the ones we see when we're asleep are the 
 real ones." 
 
 Is not the little poet right ? I dare not contra- 
 dict him, his credulity seemed superior to my expe- 
 rience. How powerful this reality of dream life is ! 
 How true are these falsehoods of the imagination ! 
 
 Who will dare to say positively, " There is the 
 boundary which separates the true from the false 
 reality, the object from its image, soul from matter, 
 feeling from sensation, what we touch from what we 
 think we touch ?" What are hope, desire, the gift of
 
 BABOLAIN. 28l 
 
 believing and imagining which take man by the hand, 
 push him forward or check him, make him sit down 
 by the side of the path, help him to surmount obsta- 
 cles, or overwhelm him ? 
 
 Are not the great, true, good moments of life those 
 when a man only feels the ground with the tips of his 
 toes, trembles at the touch of the magic ring, believes 
 in the good fairy, and suffers himself to be wrapped 
 in the godmother's cloak ? Is not the joy of life the 
 power of coming out from it. Perhaps happiness 
 may be not to return to it again. He from whom the 
 fairies flee is a very unhappy man. Exact analysis is a 
 dull lantern. To count the stones in a prison and 
 measure its bars is not being free. Yes, darling, let 
 us talk about Cinderella and Peau d'Ane. You have 
 the true spirit of wisdom. 
 
 The want of wood is what causes me the most 
 suffering. The colder it grows the more the servants 
 steal my share to increase theirs. They do it from 
 habit, not out of any ill-will, but I suffer greatly. 
 
 When I had a little money I got out of the diffi- 
 culty by buying peat and putting it under my arm 
 wrapped in a paper, and people suspected nothing. 
 One can keep warm a long time with peat and ashes. 
 But now I no longer have this resource. I keep my 
 bundles of wood for my little George's visits. We 
 warm ourselves together, as soon as I am alone I 
 carefully put out the fire, and all is over. 
 
 It must be confessed that these annoyances are 
 more endurable to me than they would be to others. 
 I have breathed on my fingers to warm them so many 
 winters. It rejuvenates me, I am returning to the 
 habits I used to have when a young man with hope 
 the less and memory the more. 
 
 The time seems particularly long at night. Al- 
 though I stuff the windows and doors as well as I can 
 and pile all the clothing I have upon the bed, the 
 cold penetrates with frightful obstinacy. It is use-
 
 282 BABOLAIN. 
 
 less to say to myself : " Think of George, think of 
 Favras. AVhat improvements could I make in the 
 house and garden ? It is impossible for me to fix 
 my attention ; my teeth chatter, I begin to cough, and 
 so it goes until the next morning. 
 
 When my children receive company, which they 
 do more and more frequently, I amuse myself by lis- 
 tening to the roll of the carriages upon the pave- 
 ment of the courtyard, or the conversation of the 
 coachmen, who stamp and swear. I imagine my 
 daughter among her guests. Dear little thing ! How 
 pretty she looked when she opened the stop-cock of 
 the rain-gauge, and I tried in vain to be angry. If I. 
 only had a candle I could read ! 
 
 The weather is growing milder. The earth and 
 sun are becoming reconciled, spring is approaching. 
 How I shall enjoy it! In a few days the trees at 
 Favras will be covered with a faint green hue, the 
 ground will become softer, and the violets will enamel 
 the grass and moss. To-morrow afternoon little 
 George and I will resume our walks. My overcoat is 
 the only thing that troubles me. I have ripped the 
 collar to turn it inside out ; but shall I succeed in my 
 task ? Nobody must be ashamed of me to-morrow. 
 
 The weather was magnificent, a throng of pedes- 
 trians were moving towards the Champs Elyse'es, and 
 we walked on like two intimate friends who were 
 happy in being together. He stopped me every in- 
 stant to ask questions about the different things he 
 saw, and I was in a very joyous mood. Two colle- 
 gians passed, George looked at them an instant, and 
 then turning to me, said : 
 
 " Say, grandpa, when you were a professor, did 
 you teach little boys no larger than I ?" 
 
 " No, dear. They were not children ; some of 
 them had beards. Do you see the collegians walking 
 yonder ? Well, all my scholars were older than those 
 young men."
 
 BABOLAIN. 283 
 
 " And did you have a gown ? " 
 
 "Why, of course, all the professors in the univer- 
 sity wear gowns." 
 
 "And did you order your scholars about, grand- 
 pa?" 
 
 " Hum why yes, mildly. You know we ought 
 always to speak gently, especially to those who must 
 obey. We may be mistaken, you know, we are not 
 infallible." 
 
 "You speak gently to everybody, and yet the 
 servants don't obey you." 
 
 " They are your father's and mother's servants, 
 my dear." 
 
 " Well, then, you're not obliged to speak gently to 
 them, and you would have very good reason to be 
 cross, for they're not at all polite when they talk about 
 you. Louis always calls you the old man." 
 
 " There's no great harm in that, my little fellow, 
 everybody sees that I am no longer young. Louis 
 probably meant to say : the old gentleman, and forgot 
 to finish it ; no doubt he was in a hurry." 
 
 " Well, I thought it was very wrong for Louis to 
 call you the old man, but if it isn't, he'll be in a great 
 rage, for I said if mamma knew what I said to him." 
 
 " What did you say ? " 
 
 " I called him a great brute. Why, gracious, 
 grandpa, I thought he was attacking you, so I stood 
 up for you. If any one attacked me you would de- 
 fend me, of course, because you say we are friends. 
 When people are friends, they stand up for each 
 other." He shook his little cane in the air. " Ah ! 
 if anybody attacked you, you'd see, grandpa." 
 
 Not knowing how to answer this prattle, which 
 cheered my inmost heart, I pressed the dear child's 
 hand, who returned the clasp while bounding along 
 by my side. 
 
 " Do you think I am as strong as the collegians 
 who just passed by ?" he continued.
 
 284 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 " Not quite, but you soon will be, though strength is 
 slower to come than to go. Why are you so anxious 
 to be strong ? " 
 
 " To defend you, of course. Then I'm not any 
 stronger than you now." 
 
 " Not much weaker, dear, and perhaps that is the 
 reason we are so fond of each other. When you are 
 a man, you won't take any pleasure in walking with 
 your grandfather." 
 
 George stopped, looked at me in astonishment, 
 not exactly knowing whether I was in earnest or not; 
 then raising his head drew me down to him and gave 
 me a hearty kiss, whispering : 
 
 " I shall always love you ; when you're an old, old 
 man, I'll love you still more, and when I get rich I'll 
 buy you I'll buy you a beautiful gold frame." 
 
 " What for, my dear ? " 
 
 " For your diplomas that are fastened on the wall, 
 grandpa." 
 
 On reaching the Champs Elysees we sat down 
 upon a bench. He was looking out of the corners 
 of his eyes at the goat carriages which were passing 
 up and down a neighboring walk, and I was counting 
 the few sous in my vest pockets when I saw a car- 
 riage slowly approaching, drawn by two large lean 
 horses. Many pedestrians paused to see it pass. It 
 was of antique form, hung very high above the wheels, 
 and had an indescribably stately and sombre air 
 which could not remain unobserved. On the huge 
 box, adorned with intricate armorial bearings, sat a 
 coachman and footman lost amid the folds of a fawn- 
 colored livery, excessively belaced. As the carriage 
 approached I distinguished the coat of arms sur- 
 rounded with various devices and arabesques that 
 ornamented the doors. Two ladies, dressed in black, 
 were talking together in this magnificent equipage. 
 Suddenly George started, and pulling me by the sleeve, 
 exclaimed :
 
 B ABO LAIN. 285 
 
 " Mamma, there's mamma in that carriage." 
 
 It was indeed my daughter ; but when I had more 
 particularly noticed the lady who accompanied her, I 
 could not repress a cry and nearly fell senseless. I 
 had recognized my wife, Esther Paline, my beloved 
 wife. Yes, beloved, for I suddenly felt with strange 
 intensity that I had never ceased to love her. She 
 was more beautiful than ever. Her appearance now 
 was that of a great lady with grave and dignified 
 manners. An expression of gentleness and sovereign 
 majesty breathed from her whole person. 
 
 The past appeared before me as if by one of 
 those flashes of lightning which amid the darkness 
 of night sunder the clouds and illumine the horizon. 
 My emotion was too strong for my feeble body, and 
 most unfortunately I fainted, as I have always done 
 when it was my duty to be energetic. 
 
 When I recovered my senses two or three people 
 were standing around me. George had doubtless 
 called to them in his terror, while he, poor child, 
 with tearful eyes and trembling hands was unfasten- 
 ing my cravat and kissing my forehead. I instantly re- 
 membered what had just occurred, and sought for 
 the carriage with my eyes, but it had disappeared. 
 
 Seeing that I was better, some one wanted to call 
 a cab, but I fortunately recollected that we had not 
 money enough ; I thanked him, declared the walk 
 would do me good, and rising, tottered away. Twenty 
 times I was obliged to stop and lean against a tree. 
 George held my hand and often said : " Won't you 
 lean on my shoulder, dear grandpa, I think I am 
 strong enough." He did not ask a single question 
 about what had occurred; no doubt his quickness 
 and tact taught him that he ought to remain in ignor- 
 ance of the cause. When we reached the fountain 
 in the Place Louis XV., I bathed my forehead and 
 it did me good; but how long the walk seemed. 
 George said in a low tone: "We're almost there,
 
 286 BABOLAIN. 
 
 grandpa, we'll soon get home." I was thinking : " How 
 does it happen that they are together ? They know 
 each other why have I heard nothing about it ? I 
 must indeed be a wretch to have them both forget 
 me so utterly. I had never had so much affection 
 for them, never felt more beneath them, more un- 
 worthy of their tenderness." 
 
 My strength gave way as we crossed the court- 
 yard, and my limbs bent under me. I was bewildered, 
 and tottered. But for George, I really believe it 
 would have been impossible for me to find the little 
 back staircase. In passing the pantry I saw the ser- 
 vants laughing maliciously as they looked at me, but 
 was too greatly agitated to pay much attention to it. 
 I reached my room, and sank upon my bed. I was 
 only half conscious of what was passing around me, 
 and yet saw my grandson, with infinite trouble, raise 
 my pillow, spread the clothes over my feet, unbutton 
 my vest, and getting into a chair put on my night cap. 
 My heart swelled with gratitude ; I felt his hand gently 
 rub my forehead, I heard his breathing, quickened 
 by emotion, the beating of his heart, the fond words 
 his little lips murmured in my ear. What have I 
 done to deserve the love of this blessed child ? Who 
 has put him in my path ? Why does he love me so ? 
 Whence comes it that logically, misfortune gives birth 
 to compassion, that the mere fact of being pitiable 
 wins a friend's caress? Whence comes it that suffer- 
 ing teaches you to love ; that the flower which blooms 
 amid ruins is most fragrant and most brilliant in color ? 
 Who has arranged this needful counterpoise, but for 
 which a man would be crushed by the first shock ? 
 What is this equilibrium of moral laws, this logical re- 
 action of the heart, if Providence does not watch 
 over and sustain us ? 
 
 Some one soon came for George, and the poor 
 child went away with tears in his eyes. Was it from 
 grief because he was obliged to leave me alone at a
 
 BABOLAIN. 287 
 
 time when I might need help, or a presentiment that 
 the pleasant days of our companionship were over 
 forever ? 
 
 I found myself alone, and began to tremble in 
 ever) 7 limb. The idea that my wife was in Paris 
 aroused a tempest of feelings which I had crushed 
 down into the depths of my heart for years. The 
 wrongs I had suffered in the past arose before me, 
 perhaps magnified more than was reasonable, but 
 overwhelming and terrible. I no longer remembered 
 anything except my ambitious follies, my countless 
 failings, my intolerable absurdities, my powerlessness, 
 my obstinacy in seeking to be beloved by a superior 
 person who was not suited to me, and then the sor- 
 rows and misfortunes which had resulted from it. 
 
 The meeting I had just had was a very natural 
 punishment, and I did not think of being surprised. 
 I had driven from me the family joys of which I was 
 unworthy. What scorn, what disgust my daughter 
 must feel towards me, now that being informed of 
 the past by her mother, she knew all that I had so 
 carefully concealed ! The abyss that separated me 
 from them had become impassable, and yet the great- 
 ness of the obstacle only awakened my eagerness and 
 increased the tenderness I felt for them. At that 
 moment I think I would have borne every torture if 
 it had been possible to clasp them in my arms, ob^ 
 tain forgiveness for the wrong I had done them, to 
 be for one instant a husband and father. 
 
 I was pursuing this train of thought when some 
 one knocked at my door, and the servant told me 
 my son-in-law wished to speak to me at once. This 
 was so unusual an event that I was very much dis- 
 turbed. My daughter's husband inspired me with a 
 feeling of terror. Besides might not what he had to 
 say to me have some connection with the walk we 
 had taken that day. 
 
 He was sitting before his table when I entered
 
 288 B ABO LAIN. 
 
 his large gloomy study, lumbered with books and 
 strange-looking bottles. 
 
 " Be so good as to sit down," he said gravely 
 without raising his eyes from a letter he was just fin- 
 ishing. When he had noisily signed his name, read 
 it over, and folded the sheet, he looked at me steadily 
 a moment., and then clasping his hands, said : 
 
 " You seem to be somewhat restored and conse- 
 quently in a condition to listen to me, Monsieur Bab- 
 olain ; have the kindness to give me your attention. 
 When I married your daughter it was arranged, was 
 it not, that you should share our home and profit by 
 the advantages of this cohabitation, that is, heat, 
 light, etc. ? " 
 
 " Of course," I replied, " you intended 
 
 " Allow me to go on. Have I performed my 
 agreement ? Have you shelter, fire and light ? " 
 
 " Undoubtedly." Fear makes us humble and 
 cowardly. " Undoubtedly, my dear Joseph," said I. 
 
 " I ask no more. It is admitted that I have acted 
 honestly, and you have no cause to reproach me. 
 Moreover, my wife and I have wished to prove our 
 good will by trusting our son to your care almost 
 every day. Is all this true ? If you have any com- 
 plaints to make against us, I beg of you to speak. 
 You don't answer, Monsieur Babolain, I will go on : 
 Far from being intolerant, I excuse certain peculiari- 
 ties and eccentricities which entail annoying conse- 
 quences; it is grief not anger that I feel at the sight 
 of other's faults, and my instincts urge me to excuse 
 those whom others would condemn. But there are 
 certain failings which surpass all bounds and render 
 indulgence impossible. The vice with which you are 
 afflicted is one of those that deserve only the indig- 
 nation of an honest man." 
 
 Having dealt me this blow, he took an envelope, 
 slipped his letter into it, and quietly wrote the ad- 
 dress.
 
 BABOLAIN. 289 
 
 I was wrong not to vehemently repel his accusa- 
 tion, I feel I was wrong there, but I was so terribly 
 agitated. Besides, was I perfectly sure that I did 
 not have the vice of which I was accused ? I answer- 
 ed timidly : 
 
 " What do you mean, Joseph ? I don't exactly un- 
 derstand " 
 
 " I did not suppose I should be obliged to give 
 you any information upon this subject, Monsieur." 
 
 " I am very poor, it is true, but of course that is 
 not the vice to which you " 
 
 " Certainly, you know it as well as I. I have no 
 wish to discuss the ingenious manner in which you 
 have squandered your fortune." 
 
 " Why you know that when my daughter married 
 I gave her almost everything." 
 
 " I think my behavior at that time was sufficiently 
 disinterested for me not to be accused of being a 
 mercenary man. I wished to remain in ignorance of 
 my future wife's property, and accepted her dowry 
 with my eyes shut. All I know is that you were once 
 rich and are so no longer; what is the secret cause 
 of your ruin, granting that it is as complete as you 
 say ? How does it happen that in spite of your ap- 
 parently modest mode of life, you are reduced to 
 nothing ? " 
 
 " Good Heavens, but I" 
 
 " Let us stop there, if you please, it is repugnant 
 to my feelings to enter into all these particulars, and 
 besides, this is not the matter in question. I merely 
 wished to tell you that I must beg you not to accom- 
 pany George in his walks in future." 
 
 " Not go out with George any more," I cried. 
 " What have I done to deserve such a sorrow ? My 
 poor little George ; my only joy is to be with him. 
 Joseph, my friend, you won't do this, will you ? 
 I take the very best care of him, I keep out of the 
 way of the carriages, and if the wind blows I make 
 19
 
 BABOLAIN. 
 
 him put on his coat. Prevent my going out with 
 him ! It would be too cruel." 
 
 " Cruel ! I have reason to reproach myself with 
 only too much indulgence towards you, Monsieur. 
 Cruel ! But you have probably not yet recovered 
 from your little indisposition sufficiently to under- 
 stand the full meaning of your expressions." 
 
 " What indisposition do you mean ? Oh ! yes, I 
 was really somewhat ailing." 
 
 " You were drunk, Monsieur, let us speak plain- 
 ly. All the people in the house saw you, and I don't 
 wish to have such a scandal repeated." 
 
 " It's false ! Joseph, false ! I swear it." 
 
 " Go and lie down, go," said he, shrugging his 
 shoulders. " Some one is waiting for me, good-even- 
 ing." 
 
 Night had fallen. I groped my way up to my 
 room, I was like a man who has just been robbed of 
 all he possesses. " What is the use of living any 
 longer," I said to myself, " what is the use ? " 
 
 I lighted a fragment of candle, which I still had. 
 It seemed as if in the darkness I should give way to 
 despair too easily. The room was full of the signs 
 George had left of his presence; there on the little 
 black table were the figures of peasants he had 
 drawn with a bit of chalk. A piece of string he had 
 used the evening before to play horse still hung 
 from the back of a chair. But all these memories 
 must be driven away. My poor child ! my poor child ! 
 I sat down in a corner and remained there, shivering 
 with cold. 
 
 It is very certain that I was not intoxicated, since 
 I have drunk nothing but water for so long. But 
 what would my innocence avail if nobody believed it 1 
 The scandal was real, and my son-in-law had reason 
 to be angry. To condemn me thus he must have 
 held me in the most utter contempt. If I could 
 prove that I am a victim, my sorrow would be allevi-
 
 BABOLAIN. 291 
 
 ated ; but who will dare to say : " I have endured 
 more suffering than I have caused." 
 
 We see only the scales, but never distinguish the 
 needle that marks the weight. If, in my pride, I had 
 not scorned the laws of my existence, I should un- 
 doubtedly have escaped all that has happened to me. 
 
 I have considered George's affection as a treas- 
 ure which belonged to me, and now that I am de- 
 prived of it, am indignant, as if robbed. What right 
 had I to enter his little heart ? Is it not the wisdom 
 of Providence that drives me from it ? He might 
 have become accustomed to my deplorable instincts, 
 gradually accepted, and soon shared them. " Con- 
 sole yourself, my poor child." It seemed as if I was 
 holding him in my arms, as if he had taken refuge in 
 my lap as had so often happened, and was gazing at 
 me imploringly. " Console yourself, my love ; you're 
 not going to cry because you are taken away from 
 your old grandpa." I parted his hair, kissed his fore- 
 head, and tried to smile. " He wasn't a proper com- 
 panion for you, you see ; he wouldn't have been able 
 to follow you long with his old legs. We must always 
 part with somebody or something in life, and it isn't 
 so hard as you think, my darling. You'll soon smile 
 when you recollect your old grandpa's room, our 
 talks, our walks ; you will always love me, but you'll 
 say to yourself: ' What a funny man ! ' The memory 
 of my absurdities will soften your regrets. It must 
 be so. Everything the good God has done is 
 well done, you see. Whether His justice renders our 
 burden heavier or lighter, it is always a consolation 
 and a support to know that this justice is infallible 
 and immutable. I am not worth more than one tear, 
 I know very well, but it will fall from your eyes, my 
 darling, and I shall leave this world invoking a bless- 
 ing upon you." 
 
 Such were my thoughts as the noises in the house 
 died away one after another, and the stillness around
 
 292 BABOLAIN. 
 
 me grew deeper. I saw my little George, saw him 
 become a man ; I had been dead a long time, yet I 
 was always near him. I read his mind, his heart, 
 and was amazed at the noble, grand, and generous 
 feelings I saw. He let me talk to him, and we 
 laughed together over all the petty troubles with 
 which my life had been so comically enamelled. He 
 invited me to share his joys, confided his plans to 
 me, I remodelled my life in his, and felt greatly 
 strengthened. 
 
 Suddenly the bit of candle I had lighted went out, 
 and I found myself in the dark. I undressed and 
 went to bed. 
 
 It was not until the next morning that I realized 
 how much my situation was changed. My grandson 
 won't come to see me to-day, I thought, nor to-mor- 
 row, perhaps never, and I remained cowering under 
 the clothes, gazing through my tears at the vine 
 on the paper. From that day it seems to me as if 
 time stood still. My life has stopped. I know very 
 well that all is over for me, and yet I am waiting. So 
 it is true that a man cannot live a moment unless he 
 is drawn on by the moment that is approaching. It 
 is no longer hope, but a sort of anxiety, a need of es- 
 caping the present moment. I wait for the scratch- 
 ing he made at the door when he came to see me. I 
 know very well I shall not have his visit, and yet I 
 can't help expecting it ; if the wind makes a branch 
 snap near my window; if a door creaks in the dis- 
 tance, my very breathing stops. I say to myself: 
 " Who knows, perhaps it is he. If it were not he, 
 why should 1 be agitated ? " I wait as if for an event 
 of great importance until the ray of sunlight which 
 enters at a certain hour and passes around my room, 
 falls upon the drawing I once made of our garden and 
 house. The sun only shines upon a part of it, but 
 this little space is like a window opening upon the 
 country itself. I smell the fragrance of the grasses
 
 BABOLAIN. 293 
 
 and flowers which are growing there, I see the trees 
 wave, hear the humming of the insects, and my feel- 
 ings return to my heart with so much reality that the 
 tears often flow from my eyes. So while listening to 
 certain airs, heard by chance, a whole page of one's 
 life suddenly appears, and for a few moments we see 
 the existence of former days, forget what has taken 
 place since, walk joyously along the well known path, 
 and put our feet in the fresh prints of our old steps. 
 
 As our lives grow narrow, and the present grows 
 sterner, the power of escaping from it by the imagin- 
 ation becomes more powerful, the poetry which was 
 a luxury to the man of forty becomes necessary to 
 the old man whose strength is failing. The suf- 
 ferings of the close of life need the balm, the music 
 of memory. How can one fail to see the goodness 
 of a protecting power in this doubling of life! How 
 can one help seeing Thy provident affection in this 
 moral equilibrium, oh ! my God ! It is to the unfor- 
 tunate who have no pillows on which to repose, that 
 Thou openest Thy arms. 
 
 I wait to hear the striking of the clock in the pan- 
 try beneath me ; its sound is pleasant, affectionate, so 
 to speak; one would say it pays me a visit, surrounds 
 me, covers me with caresses. I listen to its dying 
 tones, and when it has ceased am still in an imagin- 
 ary world, where life is without suffering, trouble, or 
 chaos. 
 
 And yet I have terrible hours when the past ap- 
 pears to me under its evil face ; when I can no long- 
 er drive away the phantoms that torture me ; when I 
 fall into despair, and would fain have my physical 
 sufferings still more severe and cruel that they might 
 keep me from thinking. Sometimes in these dark 
 days I have rebellious feelings, I even, madman as I 
 am, curse my wife and daughter. As if it had been 
 possible for them to conquer the repugnance with 
 which I inspire every one ! Who can tell the number
 
 294 BABOLAIN. 
 
 of griefs I have caused the two poor women whom 
 fate cast into my arms. The idea sets my brain on 
 fire. What I have done and what I might have done 
 mingle, blend together, and in this confusion I fancy 
 I behold crimes. 
 
 " Wife and child, forgive the wrong I have done 
 you. My strength is failing, my vital powers are be- 
 coming exhausted has not the hour for pardon ar- 
 rived ? Dear ones, I hold out my arms to you. For 
 God's sake do not pass me by without a look, do not 
 repulse me. In my condition I can no longer harm 
 any one. When I think that at this very moment you 
 may perhaps both be in this house ! No, I have 
 never loved you so much. I do not ask to be ad- 
 mitted to a share in your life ; I should be out of 
 place, I do not wish to shame you. Let everything 
 remain as it is, but sometimes when you are getting 
 into your carriage, look up at my window I will hide 
 behind the curtain, no one will see you. My heart 
 is so cold a glance from you would do me so much 
 good." 
 
 About two o'clock, the hour that he goes out, I 
 managed to drag myself to the window and saw him 
 set out for his walk. He held his hoop in his hand, 
 and the nurse went with him. I don't think he could 
 have seen me, but he turned his head as he passed 
 through the gateway. He wore his little grey coat 
 and striped stockings, but was not skipping about as 
 he always did when we went out together. 
 
 How happy I have been in possessing his affec- 
 tion ! I have watched him as he grew up by my side, 
 he was so confidential to me. Childish fancies, lov- 
 able conceits, charming absurdities, comical inquisi- 
 tiveness, profound reflections he has concealed noth- 
 ing from me. Will he ever open his heart and mind 
 so fully to any one else ? 
 
 In the days when I had a little money I sometimes 
 took him to the pastrycook's; I had balanced my
 
 BABOLAIN. 
 
 295 
 
 accounts so that I could manage it. But the dear 
 child, knowing very well that I was not rich, would 
 not go in in spite of his longing to do so. He never 
 was hungry, turned his head away, pulled me by the 
 sleeve, avoided the temptation, and if by dint of in- 
 sisting I succeeded in making him go in, whispered : 
 
 " Grandpa, a little two sous' one, that's quite 
 enough you know." 
 
 He walked around the shop, made his choice, and 
 asked the price while his little lips trembled. He 
 would never take more than one, and then pulled me 
 into a corner to offer me half of it. 
 
 One day when we were coming out of the pastry 
 cook's he seemed very much preoccupied ; I pressed 
 his little hand and asked what he was thinking about. 
 
 " I'm thinking about the cakes, they are nice, but 
 they cost too much, and you're not rich enough, my 
 dear grandpa." 
 
 When we returned to the house he let me go up 
 to my room alone and joined me a few moments 
 after. He was flushed and eager, and held in his 
 hands a small package which he opened immediate- 
 ly. It was a white pasteboard box filled with papers 
 wrapped one about another. He began to unroll 
 all these with his impatient little ringers, throwing box 
 and papers on the floor as he went on with his work. 
 
 " What is it, my little fellow ? " said I. 
 
 He was too busy to answer, but when he had fin- 
 ished showed me on his open palm a coin worth fifty 
 centimes, and four sous. 
 
 " See, there are some sous for you," said he look- 
 ing at me with his great eyes. 
 
 At first I did not know what to answer, not that I 
 was ashamed of the alms, there was so much affec- 
 tion and delicacy in the somewhat blunt simplicity 
 with which he offered me his whole fortune. I took 
 his head between my hands, and kissing his fair curls 
 said:
 
 296 BABOLAIN. 
 
 " Thank you, my dear George keep your money, 
 you shall buy something with it you'll want to ride 
 in the goat carriage, you know." 
 
 " You won't have my sous," said he with an emo- 
 tion which showed he was on the point of bursting 
 into tears. 
 
 " Keep them for yourself, my little man, keep 
 them, dear." 
 
 He put the money back into his pocket without 
 saying a word, walked to the window and gazed out 
 into the courtyard, but the pane reflected like a mir- 
 ror his sorrowful face, dilated nostrils, and the quiv- 
 ering lips he compressed with his teeth to keep from 
 crying. 
 
 " You are not worthy of this affection," I said to 
 myself; " by your folly and pride you are making the 
 only creature in the world who loves you cry." I 
 added aloud : " George do you still want to give 
 me your money ? " He turned, his eyes beaming 
 with delight. " Do you ? Well then, give it to me, 
 my. darling. I shall be very glad to have it." 
 
 He made only one bound, threw his arms around 
 my neck, and overwhelming me with caresses, slid 
 the four sous and the little coin into my pocket. 
 
 " You'll take good care not to lose them, grand- 
 pa," he murmured. 
 
 I have wrapped them up in the same papers, put 
 them back in the little white box, and they are treas- 
 ured with Esther's hair and my other keepsakes. 
 
 Ah ! at that time I fully believed that I should 
 never be separated from George and my last look 
 would meet his. 
 
 When my strength is somewhat restored and I 
 suffer less, I shall go to the Tuileries at the time he 
 takes his walk, remain under the trees in the shade 
 as I used to do when I was at the normal school, and 
 watch him while he plays. If I don't speak to him, 
 and he doesn't see me it will doubtless satisfy them.
 
 BABOLAIN. 297 
 
 His father can't find fault with me for watching him 
 at a distance 
 
 But shall I ever dare to go out of my room, pass 
 before the servants again and cross the courtyard? 
 I may meet my daughter, and who knows, perhaps 
 my wife. Besides, will my strength ever return ? It 
 seems to me that I am growing weaker and weaker, 
 and my sufferings increase instead of diminishing. 
 
 What do they want of me ? How will all this 
 end ? Why can't they let me die in peace in my cor- 
 ner ? Thou knowest, oh ! God, that I have no long- 
 er strength to make amends for anything. 
 
 Two hours ago I had just risen, not without diffi- 
 culty, for I suffer a great deal, and was resting wrap- 
 ped in my blankets, when some one knocked at the 
 door, and a tall old man with a noble, dignified bear- 
 ing entered the room. His grey hair fell in silken 
 curls upon the velvet collar of his coat, which was 
 black, cut in a peculiar style and buttoned to the 
 chin but revealed a white cravat against which ap- 
 peared the black and yellow ribbon of a foreign or- 
 der. I instantly perceived by his simple and aristo- 
 cratic manners that I was in the presence of some 
 very distinguished nobleman. He advanced towards 
 me, raised his eyes to heaven, clasped his hands, and 
 gazed at me long and earnestly. 
 
 A shudder ran through my frame from head to foot. 
 It seemed as if a ghost had appeared before me. 
 Some bond united me to him ; his face roused a throng 
 of confused memories which I could not define. 
 
 " In what a state of degradation do I see you, oh, 
 my friend, my brother ! " he said, in a compassionate 
 voice. 
 
 " Monsieur," I replied with deep emotion, " I 
 don't exactly recognize you, and yet I have seen you, 
 I excuse me for receiving you in this untidy room, 
 and be kind enough to sit down."
 
 298 BABOLAIN. 
 
 He pushed aside with his gold-headed cane the 
 clothes that loaded the only available chair, seated 
 himself with great caution, and continued: 
 
 " Twenty-five or thirty years do indeed change 
 men, alter their situations strangely, and I am not 
 surprised that you have some difficulty in recognizing 
 your old friend in Chevalier Timoleon Morbegno." 
 
 " Timoleon ! " I cried. " Oh God ! is it you ? " 
 
 And in my first impulse, almost involuntarily, I 
 was about to clasp his hand, but there was so much 
 pride and pity in his smile that I stopped short. I 
 suddenly remembered the strange part he had played, 
 his hasty departure for Italy, but this ugly vision 
 made no definite impression upon my poor brain, my 
 heart had no longer sufficient strength to hate any 
 one. I felt an emotion of dislike, and trembled. This 
 tall man frightened me. 
 
 " What do you want ? Why do you come here ? " 
 I murmured, sinking back in my arm chair. 
 
 " To save you from yourself, my friend, and ac- 
 complish the mission Providence and your family 
 have entrusted to me. Let calmness and gratitude at 
 last enter your poor, blinded soul, have confidence in 
 the goodness of God. Mme. la Comtesse de Monte 
 Re villa, who was once your wife, is willing to forget 
 the past." 
 
 " What ! The Comtesse de Monte Revilla is my 
 Explain yourself, how can that be ? " 
 
 " Don't pretend to be ignorant of what it is im- 
 possible not to know. You can't be the only person 
 who is unaware of the titles and honors Mme. la 
 Comtesse enjoys in Italy, titles and honors of which 
 her virtues and talents make her eminently worthy. 
 Your son-in-law, M. de Favras, the famous physician, 
 your admirable daughter, Mme. la Marquise de V6- 
 lizy, Monseigneur de Pansol, and all the distinguished 
 personages who frequent this house surely have not 
 concealed from you the respectful esteem in which
 
 BABOLAIN. 299 
 
 they hold Mme. de Monte Revilla. I, who for 
 more than twenty years have been an intimate visitor 
 at her palace, the confidant of her thoughts, her re- 
 spectful and devoted friend, have been able to appre- 
 ciate the qualities of her high intelligence and great 
 heart. Reassure yourself, Babolain, the words I come 
 to bring are those of peace and pardon." 
 
 While he was speaking, I felt fascinated by the 
 image of this aristocratic Italian lady ; I had clasped 
 her in my arms;this ideal being, this wondrous wo- 
 man, whose genius was no longer doubtful, had once 
 been mine. Ah ! let him not relate all the particulars 
 of this glorious career. 
 
 The mad pride, the wild love of former days re- 
 kindled in my poor brain, and yet in the presence of 
 this aristocratic gentleman who found me degraded, 
 powerless, and shivering under these rags, I dared 
 not ask a question, and remained silent with my eyes 
 fixed upon the ground lest I might meet his glance. 
 
 He continued, adjusting his cuffs. 
 
 " I feel great pity for you, Babolain. Whatever 
 you may have done, I could not forget the ties that 
 united us in the past, and the situation in which I find 
 you moves me deeply." 
 
 I thought he was censuring my daughter's conduct 
 towards me, and replied : 
 
 " My children are very kind to me. I don't com- 
 plain. I want for nothing." 
 
 " I know your noble daughter's heart too well to 
 doubt it. Mme. de Favras, whose life is a constant 
 succession of noble deeds and beautiful thoughts, 
 wept wept I say." 
 
 " Are you speaking of my daughter ? " 
 
 " When Mme. de Favras spoke of the sad path 
 upon which you have entered Alas ! my friend, 
 could I suspect that your skepticism when a young 
 man would bear such bitter fruits ? ' All family af- 
 fection seems to be extinguished in my poor father's
 
 300 BABOLAIN. 
 
 heart,' she said despairingly; ' he shuns, avoids us, 
 and you know the deplorable consequences solitude 
 and forgetfulness of others may bring upon a weak 
 nature.' " 
 
 These words gave me a terrible pang : was it really 
 possible my daughter could think so ? 
 
 "Your son-in-law," continued Timoleon, "who 
 unites to a rare intelligence the qualities of a noble 
 heart, spoke of you with remarkable indulgence, al- 
 though a certain tinge of irritation, which was cer- 
 tainly very excusable, appeared in his words. ' Ought 
 not Monsieur Babolain,' he said to me in confidence, 
 ' to have some respect for himself, if only from con- 
 sideration for us ? Can he forget that there is a cer- 
 tain joint responsibility in a family, from which we 
 cannot escape ? Can he forget that before the world 
 and our servants we bear the responsibility of his ec- 
 centricities, and endure the consequences of his 
 acts ! ' : 
 
 "This is what your son-in-law told me, my friend. 
 It is a melancholy and guilty thing in the sight of 
 God when the head of a family despises his own dig- 
 nity, has no respect for his white hairs, forgets his 
 authority, and thus brings reproach upon that sacred 
 family hierarchy, the image of the social hierarchy, 
 whose reward is the happiness of nations." 
 
 " True," I murmured ; " but I have had my sor- 
 rows too, I ' 
 
 " The pious Comtesse de Monte Revilla would 
 have a right to forget you entirely, but she will not. 
 Yes, she who was your wife wishes to recall you to 
 the right path, take you from this garret, draw you 
 out of yourself, screen you from scorn and contempt; 
 and in the first place you must understand that it is 
 no longer possible for you to remain in this house." 
 
 " Leave the house ! " I cried. " Leave my George ! 
 go away from him ! " 
 
 " It is on condition of changing your place of res-
 
 BABOLAIN. 301 
 
 idence that Mme. de Monte Revilla would consent 
 to give you a pension sufficient to enable you to 
 maintain a style of living suitable for yourself and 
 your family." And as my face undoubtedly expressed 
 the sorrow these words excited, he added, " I didn't 
 suppose that such a proposal could arouse any other 
 emotion in your mind than that of gratitude." 
 
 " But I ask nothing. Good Heavens ! I've never 
 asked for anything." 
 
 " That's the very thing that troubles them. I 
 should rather," said Mme. la Comtesse yesterday, " I 
 should rather he had secretly incurred heavy debts to 
 maintain his position." 
 
 " My position ! What position have I to main- 
 tain ? " 
 
 " You ought to avoid giving your wife and chil- 
 dren, who have one, reason to blush. I regret that I 
 am compelled to remind you of it. But I will return 
 to the subject of my mission. They don't wish to 
 impose upon you a mode of life to which you c6uld 
 not become accustomed, but to give you a suitable, 
 agreeable place of retirement, with plenty of fresh 
 air your feeble health requires special care. A 
 house which would suit your tastes might be found 
 for you in the suburbs of Paris one man-servant 
 will be enough for you : they will be careful to select 
 a good one. Consider, Babolain, you can't always 
 be dependent upon your children." 
 
 " I have given all I had," I murmured, and could 
 not repress a sob, for I said to myself, "It is all over, 
 I shall never see my little George again. How am I 
 to resist if they want me to go ? " 
 
 " You are ill," said Timol6on. " These sufferings 
 ought to be a warning : see how much you need 
 country air, not only morally but physically." 
 
 " And when do they send me away ? " 
 
 " They are not driving you away ; don't pervert 
 facts. The Comtesse is above all spiteful miscon-
 
 302 BABOLAIN. 
 
 structions, and even your malevolence would be un- 
 able to prevent people from thinking her wish to se- 
 cure your happiness and independence a most praise- 
 worthy one." 
 
 " Yes, yes, but it's very hard for me perhaps 
 there might be some other way," I said hesitatingly ; 
 " couldn't I stay here if I promised not to go out, not 
 to show myself any more even the servants would 
 forget me. I could do what little work I need my- 
 self, though I'm very weak but I should find the 
 strength, I assure you, I should find the strength." 
 
 " Your health is more undermined than you sup- 
 pose. To stay in Paris is to shorten your life : you 
 absolutely require country air. It is for your own 
 good that I urge the matter. Besides, the pension 
 the Comtesse secures you isn't to be despised. 
 Mine, de Monte Revilla acts generously in every- 
 thing. If you want twelve, fifteen, twenty thousand 
 francs, she will give them to you." 
 
 " That would be shameful," I cried, making an ef- 
 fort to rise ; " I would never accept it," and I thought 
 to myself : " There are men of my age who can still 
 work and earn their living." 
 
 " Does that mean that I'm capable of making de- 
 grading proposals to you ?" replied Chevalier Timo- 
 leon, drawing himself up proudly. " Oh ! this is 
 your gratitude for the efforts we make to draw you 
 out of the mire into which you have fallen. Patience 
 and charity have .their limits. Very well, Monsieur, 
 wrap yourself in your pride, I know what remains 
 for me to do. Good-evening." 
 
 During the two or three hours since he went 
 away, I have been trembling with fear. All my ideas 
 are confused, and 1 no longer know what is real. 
 You know I am not a wretch, don't you, my little 
 George ? Yes, I have committed great errors in the 
 course of my life, but I take my oath, my child, that
 
 BABOLAIN. 303 
 
 they were not premeditated. I will go away if my 
 presence is unendurable to them, but I cannot accept 
 this money. Poverty does not terrify me. If I could 
 only kiss you before leaving you forever, but they 
 will not allow it. Yet it is no crime to love the child 
 somebody is coming up stairs, I 
 
 Why did I not die after Timol6on's visit ? That 
 would have ended everything, while now I will not 
 think of what threatens me ; I am afraid, and yet I 
 wish to write all this, were it only to render it possi- 
 ble to wait for the misfortune that is to crush me. 
 
 Yesterday my son-in-law suddenly came into my 
 room, but his face did not wear its habitual expres- 
 sion of cold indifference. He had undoubtedly been 
 talking with Timoleon, for without the slightest pre- 
 amble he paused before me and said angrily : 
 
 " So, Monsieur, it seems that you are in a con- 
 quered province. What is this the Chevalier de 
 Morbegno tells me : that you intend to remain here 
 by force, and refuse the benefits we expect to have 
 you accept. But there must be an understanding, 
 once for all ; besides, my patience has long been ex- 
 hausted, and I want to have an explanation with 
 you." 
 
 I was so exhausted, and was suffering such vio- 
 lent pain in my chest, that I could not answer. 
 This doubtless irritated him, but I really could not 
 speak. 
 
 " You are here from charity, Monsieur ; you did 
 not suspect it, and I tell you of it," he continued, 
 haughtily. " If, to acknowledge my favors, you had 
 lived in a respectable and proper manner, I should 
 always have borne the burden of having a stranger 
 under my roof. But do you suppose I have not no- 
 ticed you, that I am the dupe of your humble man- 
 ners, your apparent simplicity ? Do you suppose I 
 feel no annoyance at having a stoic philosopher, a
 
 304 BABOLAIN". 
 
 tatterdemalion who makes a scandal in the house, 
 causes trouble among my servants, and carries his 
 impertinence so far as not to conceal his vices, he, 
 my wife's father, dependent upon me for everything, 
 who owes it to my charity that he does not fall into 
 the most abject poverty? And not satisfied with 
 getting intoxicated in his own room, he returns to my 
 house drunk ! " 
 
 " No, no, you are mistaken," I said, clasping my 
 hands. 
 
 ." I don't ask your opinion, I never speak as I'm 
 doing now without being sure of what I am saying. I 
 am ignorant of nothing you do, I know the scandal- 
 ous means you employ, after the manner of faithless 
 servants, to procure the money necessary for your 
 strange wants. You sell the candles that are given 
 you, Monsieur, the oil from your lamp, your fire- 
 wood what do I know about it ? A thousand other 
 things, no doubt. The destitution I see here, and 
 which I would not have believed, is sufficient proof." 
 
 " You are wrong, I swear you are wrong. How 
 could I sell what was not given to me. Do not insult 
 me from affection for your wife, whom it would 
 grieve." 
 
 "And then, when you are offered a way of making 
 your escape from your present position, when from 
 charity or shame imagine whatever motive you 
 please you are assured an income and a home, you 
 affect airs of modesty and dignity. Could it happen 
 to be done with the object of getting more? Speak 
 frankly." 
 
 " Leave me, leave me, I am suffering terribly," I 
 said imploringly. 
 
 "This farce is useless. I mean to say what I 
 think and say it at length, for I have no respect for 
 you. You are a parasite, Monsieur, a useless crea- 
 ture, and what is worse, a proud, useless creature. 
 You have taken your powerlessness as an inviolable
 
 BABOLAIN. 
 
 305 
 
 refuge, your moral and physical weakness as a means 
 of livelihood. You are in the category of dangerous 
 beggars. I detest those sort of people, I give them 
 alms, but I don't touch them with the tips of my fin- 
 gers. Must I remind you of the tortures you have 
 inflicted upon the noblest of women, who fortunately 
 finding herself too far above you to allow herself to 
 be overwhelmed, broke your degrading chains ? Must 
 I remind you of the absurd and wicked education 
 you wished to inflict upon your only daughter, envel- 
 oping her in your insane egotism till she was almost 
 stifled, and even for a long time opposing her attend- 
 ing to her religious duties. Do you say you have 
 acted in this way from ' affection ? You have some- 
 times found tears to move public feeling. Is it not 
 by trading upon your fatherly fondness that you in- 
 troduced yourself into my house, obtained food and 
 shelter here ? Confound it, be a little less affection- 
 ate, and have more courage to bear the burdens of 
 life." 
 
 " Hush ! hush ! think what you please of me, but 
 hush for your own sake, the door is wide open." 
 
 " And what do I care, whether people hear me or 
 not ? I wanted to tell you what you are I have done. 
 Now I have only to repeat what Monsieur de Mor- 
 begno has already told you: you will have an income 
 and henceforth live in a private hospital in the sub- 
 urbs of Paris. You pretend to be sick ; I affirm it, 
 and declare that it is necessary for you to reside in a 
 hospital. I hope you won't compel me to make an 
 open scandal by resorting to some act of authority, 
 which would be very disagreeable to me, although I 
 should not draw back from it. I must inform you 
 that I always carry out what I have resolved. You 
 are faint ! Cease this acting, you don't touch my feel- 
 ings in the least; I expect " 
 
 He could not finish the sentence, for at that mo- 
 ment my little George entered the room, crying in a 
 20
 
 306 BABOLAIN. 
 
 voice choked with tears : "They are hurting you, my 
 dear grandpa, they are hurting you but I won't have 
 it." He sprang toward me, and as his trembling lit- 
 tle arms embraced me, his lips pressed my forehead, 
 there was suddenly a strange blank in my brain and 
 I fainted. 
 
 What has happened ? I do not know. When I re- 
 covered my senses this morning I found myself lying 
 in my bed "George ! George ! They cannot tear you 
 from my heart ! And thou, my God, who readest all 
 hearts, forgive my sins and grant me courage to bear 
 the rest of my life ! " 
 
 The notes stop here. By what cause was the 
 poor man interrupted ? Was he removed to a pri- 
 vate hospital ? How long did he live there ? It is 
 impossible to answer these questions, but it is not 
 probable that his existence was prolonged for any 
 length of time, or he would certainly have added a 
 few pages to his Memoirs. In the box that contain- 
 ed them I found a black-edged letter, fastened with 
 a wafer, whose contents were as follows : 
 
 " Madame la Comtesse de Monte Revilla, Can- 
 oness of Saint Azeme, Monsieur le Docteur Joseph 
 de Favras, officer of the Legion of Honor and Com- 
 mander of Saint-Lazare, Madame Joseph de Favras, 
 and Monsieur George de Favras, have the honor of 
 informing you of the sad loss they have just sustain- 
 ed in the person of Monsieur le Cointe Babolino de 
 Monte Revilla, Commander of Saint Gregoire, who 
 died in his seventieth year, after receiving the sacra- 
 ments of the Church." 
 
 THE END.
 
 This book is DUE on the last 
 date stamped below 
 
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 ID83B11E 
 
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