UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT LOS ANGELES A N ACCOUNT OF THE GOSPEL LABOURS, AND CHRISTIAN EXPERIENCES O F A FAITHFUL MINISTER OF CHRIST, JOHN /CHURCHMAN, Late of Nottingham, in Pennfylvania, deceafed. TO WHICH IS ADDED. A fhort MEMORIAL of the Life and Death of a Fellow Labourer in the Church, our valuable Friend JOSEPH WHITE, late of BUCK^COUNTY. DANIEL xi. 33. xii. 4. " And they that underftand among the People /hall inftruft many. " Majiy fliall run to and fro, and Knowledge fhall be increafed." PHILADELPHIA, Printed. LONDON: Reprinted By JAMES PHILLIPS, George-Yard, Lombard-Street. M * 2 9 MDCC - LXXX - BX T19S C47AI T O T H E R E A D E R. jn TN the perufal of the following pages thou __ wilt receive a pious man's plain account 5 of his beginning in the weighty work of - religion, and his progrefs in a life devoted to promote the caufe of righteoufnefs, and gthe real happinefs of mankind. Having experienced the fpiritual baptifm, ^ which is effential to falvation, and abiding -^iji'a ftate of watchfulnefs and humility, he < became, under the Lord's anointing, a well qualified inflrument for the inftruclion and A edification of others in the way of godlinefs; ^ and, by attending to the gift of gofpel mi- ; ^ niftry committed to his truft, and perform- x ing the duties required of him, fie witnefTed ^a growth from ftature to ftature, and attained Cto be an upright elder and father in the church, being an example to the believers in word t in coniierfation, infpirit, in faith, and charity. It is not for form fake, or from a mere motive of commendation, that any thing is here premifed refpe&ing the deceafed; but, as the enfuing narrative will be likely to A 2 come come under the obfervation of many to whom he was either little known, or wholly a flranger, it feems neceffary, for the inform- ation of fuch enquirers, to make known the eftimation in which he was held by his bre- thren with whom he was connected in reli- gious fociety; who have given full declara- tion of their Chriflian unity and fellowship with him, and that his life and conduct adorned the doctrine of the gofpel, which he was concerned to publifh. The monthly and quarterly-meetings of which he was a member from their firft efta- blifhment, and who were many years par- takers of his pious example and labours, after recounting divers of his vifits abroad, which are fully related by himfelf, teftify, that * Although he was of a weakly conftitu- tion, and often infirm, efpecially in the latter part of his life, yet he appeared to be much devoted to the fervice of truth and the good of mankind, and gave up his time for that purpofe, when he apprehended it was required of him, being favoured with a fufficiency of outward things -, and we believe he flood loofe from the world, and its connections, not feeking, but re- fraining opportunities he might have had to get outward riches. He vifited neigh- bouring yearly, quarterly, and other meet- ings of friends, at times, to his laft year, and was truly ufeftil in the difcipline of * the the church, having a valuable gift in that refpecl: ; and was a good example, in a di- ligent care to attend all the meetings, both for worfhip and difcipline, to which he be- longed ; cautious of being forward in his publick appearances, and, for the moft part, exampled us to filence in our meetings at home, efpecially in the latter part of his time : yet when he did appear in teftimony, we think it may be truly faid, his doctrine dropped as the dew, being lively, and edi- fying to the honeft-hearted, though clofe and fearching to the carelefs profefTors, as well as to the profane and hypocritical.' * The elders who have ruled well are to be accounted honourable ; fo the remem- brance of the fatherly, diligent, humble, upright, honeft, and felf- denying example of this our deceafed friend, as alfo his va- rious fervices in our meetings and neigh- bourhood, remain frefh, and of a pleafant favour to many minds/ AbftracT: from the teftimony of the month- ly-meeting of Nottingham, dated fourth month twenty-feventh, 1776, and figned by Samuel England, clerk. Which is certified to be read and approved in the Weftern quarterly-meeting held at London-Grove, in Chefter county, the nineteenth of the eighth month> 1776, by Ifaac Jackfon, clerk. In ( vi ) In confirmation of the truth of which memorial concerning him, many others of his brethren, in various places, can freely fubfcribe. His deportment was grave and reverent, his judgment found and clear, in matters of a fpiritual or temporal concern ; and his na- tural difpoiition being chearful, he fometimes difcovered a turn of pleafantry in converfa- tion, which, being careful to circumfcribe within due limitations, rendered his com- pany innocently agreeable and inftructive. Being deeply fenfible of the weight and folemnity of the gofpel miniftry, he mani- fefted great circumfpection and care, that it might be preferved pure and unblemimed from miftaken or falfe appearances, in him- felf or others; and in the exercife of his gift, his declarations were plain, familiar, and concife, accompanied with a fervent concern that his fellow- believers, and all others, might be brought to the fure knowledge of an holy living principle given to direct and lead into true devotion of heart, and the practice of felf-denial, confiftent with the doctrine and precepts of Chrift Jefus our Lord ; for the prevalence and enlargement of whofe peaceable kingdom he was earneftly engaged, as the following narrative alfo. makes evident, that with a degree of propriety he might have adopted the language of an emi- nent minifter in the early age of the Chriftian, church, addrefled to the believers, " Know-. u" in ( vii ) " ing that fhortly I muft put off this my " tabernacle, even as our Lord Jefus Chrift " hath fhewn me : moreover, I will endea- " vour that you may be able after my de- f ' ceafe to have thefe things in remembrance; *' for we have not followed cunningly de- " vifed fables, when we made known unto " you the power and coming of our Lord " Jefus Chrift." 2 Pet. i. 14, 15, 1 6. What he hath written, and left us, is now recommended to thy perufal and confidera- tion j in which, if thou art ferioufly atten- tive, and not fuperficial, thou mayeft, un- der the Divine bleffing, receive profitable in- ftruction in righteoufnefs, which is the in- tent of the publication. PHILADELPHIA, 9.th month, 1779. A N A N ACCOUNT O F T H E LI FE AND TRAVELS O F JOHN CHURCHMAN. CHAP. I. His early fenfe of the imprejjions of divine /ove, and Jpiritual confifls in bis youth Death of his father His marriage The fettle- jnent of a monthly meeting at Nottingham His joining with other friends in i)i/iting of families the firft and fecond time His being appointed an Elder, and Jirfl appear- ance in the minijiry, &c. I WAS born in the townfhip of Notting- ham, in the county of Chefter, and province of Pennfylvania, on the Fourth day of the Sixth month, 1705 ; and was tenderly brought up in profeffion of the Truth by my parents, JOHN and HANNAH CHURCHMAN; who were diligent attenders B of 2 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS of Religious Meetings, both on the firft, and other days of the week, and encouragers of their children in that practice -, which is certainly a duty in parents to do, and often owned by the reaches of Divine Love, even to thofe who are very young in years, of which I am a living witnefs. For though I early felt reproof for bad words and ac- tions, yet knew not whence it came, until about the age of eight years, as I fat in a fmall meeting, the Lord, by the Teachings of his heavenly love and goodnefs, fo over- came and tendered my heart, and by his glo- rious light dilcovered to me the knowledge of himfelf, that I faw myfelf, and what I had been doing, and what it was which had reproved me for evil ; and I was made in the fecret of my heart to confefs, that childhood and youth, and the fooliih actions and words to which they are propenfe, are truly vanity; yet blefTed for ever be the name of the Lord ! who, in his infinite mercy and goodnefs, clearly informed me, that, if I would mind the difcoveries of his Truth and pure Light for the future, what I had done in the time of my ignorance he would wink at and for- give. And Oh ! the flream of Love which filled my heart with folid joy at that time, and lafted for many days, is beyond all ex- preffion. Indeed I was early taught to think different from fuch who hold the perdition of infants, and am fince confirmed in fully believing that the fin of our firft parents is not OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 3 not imputed to us, (though as their offspring we are by nature prone to evil, which brings wrath) until, by the difcovery of light and grace, we are taught to diftinguim between good and evil, and in the feed and inward principle that fheweth the evil, we feel the enmity placed againft the evil, and the au- thor thereof, the devil, or wicked one. If we afterwards commit thofe things which we faw to be- evil, we then fall under con- demnation and wrath : and here every foul that fins mufl die to the fin he hath com- mitted, and witnefs the being raifed again by the power of God into newnefs of life in Chrift Jefus, not to live to himfelf, to ful- fil the will of the flem, but to live unto him who died to take away fin. I may not forget to relate this one thing : my father fent me about three miles on an errand; I rode a mare which had a colt, per- haps half a year old ; on my return home the colt ran away from the mare, to a com- pany of wild horfes, which were feeding not far from the path I was in; fo I went home without the colt. My father afked me where the colt was ; I told him where it went from me ; he bid me go to the place with fpeed, that it might follow the mare home. I went, and found the wild horfes feeding on a piece of ground where the tim- ber trees had been killed, perhaps about two or three years ; but, before I went among the dead trees, a mighty wind arofe, which B 2 blew 4 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS blew fome down, and many limbs flew about. I flood ftill, with my mind turned inward to the Lord, who I believed was able to pre- fer ve me from hurt ; fo I pafled among the trees without fear, lave the fear of the Lord; which fills the hearts of his humble depend- ing children with love that is ftronger than death. I found the colt, which readily fol- lowed the mare, and I returned home, with great bowednefs of heart, and thankfulnefs to the Lord, for his mercy and goodnefs to me on this occafion. It was my practice when I went to bed to examine how I had fpent the paft day, and to endeavour to feel the prefence of the Lord near, which I did for fome confiderable time prefer to all other things, and I found this practice a great help to ileep fweetly; and by long experience I can recommend it to children, and to thofe alfo of riper age. I fuppofe that no one living knew my condition ; for I delighted to keep hidden, yet quick to obferve the conduct of others. I remember that a perfon once at my fa- ther's, who fpake about religious matters with an affected tone, as if he was a good man; when he went away I was near him; and when he mounted his horfe, taking a diflike,to fome of his motions, he called him an ugly dumb beafl, with fuch an accent as befpake great difpleafure, and grieved me much ; for I did believe that a man whofe mind was fweetened with divine love truly, would OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 5 would not fpeak wrathfully or diminutively, even of the beafts of the field, which were given to man for his ufe ; he did not make them himfelf. I relate this inftance that it may be a warning to all, that they be care- ful of giving offence to the little ones. Notwithftanding I had been favoured as before mentioned, yet, as I grew in years, I was much given to play, and began to delight again in feveral things for which I had be- fore been reproved, and ftill, by the divine witnefs in my mind, was brought under judgment for: but having loft my innocence and covering of the pure blefled fpirit, I en- deavoured through fear to fly from the voice of the holy fpirit in my own heart. The enemy perfuaded,me that I could never be reftored to my former ftate, becaufe I had finned again ft fo great knowledge ; or if I was, the j udgment through which I muft pafs would be intolerable to bear, fo that I had better be chearful, and take my eafe and delight. But when I was about nine years old my fa- ther fent me to fchool to learn to read, (hav- ing been taught to know my letters and fpell a little at home) in which I took great de- light, and thereby diverted myfelf from feeling my pain of mind, for the great lofs of my innocence which I had fuftained. And although the man by whom I was taught was poor, and fat in his loom, being a weaver, while the children read to him, I improved very faft, and he foon put me to B 3 writing -, 6 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS writing j and, finding my capacity full as ripe as is common in boys of that age, he began to teach me arithmetick : yet gracious goodnefs frill favoured me with conviction, and by his fpirit was witnefs againft me. And in mercy the Lord vifited me with a fore fit of ficknefs, and by his rod of cor- redtion brought me a little more to myfelf. This was in the fore part of the winter, when I was between nine and ten years of age. And being pretty well recovered for fome weeks, I had in the following fpring a re- lapfe of the fame diforder, (the pleurify) in which, by outward correction with ficknefs and in ward judgment, the Lord was pleafed to draw me to himfelf ; which caufed me to renew my covenant with him, and I did hope ne- ver more to flray from him, to follow lying vanities, whofe fweets I had experienced to be bitter, yea exceeding bitternefs in the end. I had taken great delight from a child to play with whittles, and pipes, made of the bark of fmall branches of trees, and of ftraws of wheat and rye, but now it grieved me to obferve children delight therein, and I ven- tured to tell rny mind to fome of them con- cerning fuch things. Man is diilinguifhed from other creatures not only by his voice, but by varying the breath, together with the orderly motion of tongue and lips, that voice is made to convey the ideas of the mind and thoughts of the heart to his fellow- creatures -, and as he was created OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 7 created to glorify his Maker, the end and intention of his voice mould be directed to promote his glory among men, whether in things natural or fpiritual, that is, of this life, or that to come. Mufick, as now com- monly ufed, and whittling and finging, have no fuch tendency, but are rather diver- iions of the mind from what it ought to be employed about, and therefore a bafe con- fumption of precious time, which man muft be accountable for ; which, if enough re- garded, inftead of mufick, whittling and ling- ing merry, fooliih, and prophane fongs, many would have occafion to lament and weep for their mifpent time. I leave it as a caution to parents, to beware of indulging their dear children in any thing which may imprefs their tender minds with a den* re after mufic, or fuch diverfion, when they grow in years;. but that, inftead thereof, by living in the pure fear of the Lord, and near the fpirit of truth in their own hearts, they may be furnifhed with example and precept to di- recl: the minds of their offspring to attend to the voice of him who called to Samuel in days of old, and remains to be the fame teacher to his people in this age. May his holy name be magnified for ever and ever ! I retained my care and circumfpedtion for fome time, but through unwatchfulnefs and a defire for play, which led into lightnefs and forgetfulnefs, I loft this ttate before I was twelve years of age; and though the B 4 Lord 8 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS Lord was near, and followed me by his re- proof, in order to bring me under judgment, I fled from it as much as I could j having let in a belief, that as I had been favoured to tafte, in fo wonderful a manner, " of " the good word of life, and power of the " world to come, and had fo fhamefully fal- " len away, there remained for me no more " facrifice for fin, but a fearful looking for " of judgment, and fiery indignation ;" which, as I thought, feemed to burn in me to that degree, that I was afraid to be alone ; for it feemed to be loudly proclaimed in me, that whether I eat or drank, waked or flept, I was accurfed. When alone I abhorred myfelf ; but when in company ufed my ut- moft endeavours to hide my condition, by being chearful and arch in my difcourfe, and was thought by moil young people to have a knack, as they called it, at jefting and witty turns; yet even in this time I entertained fuch a value for religion, that I was not willing to reveal my fituation, left I mould be a reproach thereto, or difcourage others from feeking happinefs. But when night came, and I went to bed, no tongue can ex- prefs the anguim I felt; afraid to lay awake, and afraid to defire fleep, left I mould be cut off from the land of the living, and my portion appointed in utter darknefs. I fo far neglected my learning, that when about thirteen years old I could not read but in a poor manner, though once noted to be a ready OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 9 ready reader. I was not willing that good friends mould take notice of me, or look me fteadily in the face j for I thought they would difcern my wickednefs, and it would be a trouble to them, or by their reproving me, add to my diftrefs. I feemed to be left without any power to refift what I knew to be evil, and being afhamed that I had fo loft my little learning, I fought to divert myfelf* by endeavouring to regain it. My former genius and delight fo returned, that when I was about fifteen years of age I had made great improvement, not only in reading, but in writing and arithmetick, and feveral branches of the mathematicks, and began to value myfelf in fome degree thereon ; and fo I got over the convictions of the divine witnefs, which fpoke trouble in me. Never- thelefs, during this time I kept clofe in at- tending meetings, hoping, at feafons, that perhaps the Lord would condefcend once more to vifit me : for a faying of an eminent pious man was revived in my remembrance, " That if there remained a defire in the " heart after redemption, as it was kept to, " the Lord would again affuredly vifit fuch " in his own time." So that I was fearful of neglecting meetings, if my parents had not forwarded me, left I might mifs of the good intended for me. Yet the fubtle work- ings of the power of darknefs was at times very great; fuggefting to me that all things came by nature, and that there was no God, no io THE LIFE AND TRAVELS no heaven, no devil; no punimment for evil; religion a jeft, and painful care about futu- rity a filly whim, propagated to deprive peo- ple of pleafure. But, blefled be the Lord ! he preferved me from that fnare : for while I felt his judgment for fin, I believed in his being and holinefs. And I am indeed fully of the mind, that no man can be an atheiil before he acls contrary to knowledge, v/hen, to allay the horror and anguifli of mind he feels for the commiflion of fin, he clofes in with this temptation. At other times the fame fubtle power would tempt me to defpair of mercy, which, if given way to, would lead to diftra&ion ; but the hand of the Lord was underneath, though for my difo- bedience he fuffered ' me to remain in the wildernefs, and to dwell among fiery fer- pents, until he had wafted that in me, which lufted after forbidden things. In this flate I continued until I was about nineteen years of age ; and as I was walking one day to meeting, thinking on my forlorn condition, and remembering the bread in my heavenly Father's houfe, when I was a duti- ful child, and that by ftraying from him, and fpending my portion, I had been eight years in grievous want; I inwardly cried, if thou art pleafed again to vifit me, I befeech thee, O Lord ! vifit my body with ficknefs, or pain, or whatever thou may pleafe, fo that the will of the old man may be flam with the tranfgreffion, and every thing in me that OF JOHN CHURCHMAN, n that thy controverfy is againft ; that I may be made a fandtified veffel by thy power; fpare only my life, until my redemption is wrought, and my peace made with thee ! About this time my father died, in the tenth month, 1724, which was a great lofs to our whole family ; and as he had allotted me to live with and take care of my mother, it became my duty to keep moftly at home. I fpent near a year much in the condition above-mentioned, often out of hope of ever attaining to that ftate I had witnelTed when very young; but in the fall of the year after 1 had arrived to the age of twenty years, it pleafed the Lord to remember me, who had been an exile, in captivity under the old tafkmafter in Egypt fpiritually, and by his righteous judgments, mixed with unfpeaka- ble mercies, to make way for my deliverance. I was vifited with a fore fit of licknefs, which in a few days fo fully awakened me, that I had no hope of ever being again in- trufted with health. My mifpent time, and all my tranfgreffions, were brought to my remembrance, and heavy judgment was upon me for them : I was met with in this nar- row path, and could no longer fly from God and his fpirit in my confcience, whofe fore difpleafure I had juflly incurred. I had heard of men who had been notorious offen- ders, and fled from the jufHce of the com- mon law, until they became outlawed; fuch in a fpiritual fenfe my cafe appeared to be. I thought 12 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS thought I had as it were heard an act of grace and free pardon repeatedly proclaimed, if I would return and live uprightly for the future; but in the time of fuch vifitations I concluded it was only to bring me under judgment to take me from my pleafure, for that mine offences would never be pardoned, and fo I had withftood or neglected thofe vifitations. I now faw clearly that herein I had followed the lying fuggeftions of Satan mine enemy. At this time my old will in the fallen nature gave up its life, and I cried, I am not worthy to live or enjoy favour j yet, O Lord! if thou wilt be pleafed to look on me with an eye of pity, do what thou wilt with me, magnify thy own name, prepare me by thy judgments and power, that thy mercy may be {hewn in and by me, whether thou cut the thread of my life, or fhall grant me more^ days, which is onl^ in thy power.' Now my heart was made exceedingly tender, I wept much, and an evidence was given me that the Lord had heard my cry, and in mercy looked down on me from his holy habita- tion -, and a willing heart and patience was given me to bear his chaltifements, and the working of his eternal word of power, which created all things at the beginning, and by which poor fallen man only is created anew in the heavenly image, and prepared to praife him with acceptance, who lives for ever and ever. Whilft OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 13 Whilft I lay in this condition perhaps I was thought, by thofe who watched with me, to be near expiring, but though I faid little or nothing, I believe I was quite fenfible, yet exceedingly weakened, having for about twenty- four hours felt more inward and in- exprefiible anguifh than outward pain, which was no doubt great. I take it to be toward the morning of the fifth day and night of my illnefs, that I felt the incomes and own- ing of divine love in a greater degree than ever ; for the profped: I had of fo great for- givenefs made me love the more : for love is ever reciprocal. I remember that I faw the morning light, and thought all things looked new and fweet. I lay where the fun fhone near or on my bed, and have fometimes fince thought that, being weak, the ftrength of the light, and too much company hurt me. I leave this hint to eflcite nurfes and thofe who have the care of very weak indif- poled people to beware of letting over much light come upon them, or many vifitors, except they be fuch who are fenfible of the weak by being inward and quiet, waiting to feel the fympathy which truth gives; the company of fuch being truly refreihing. It pleafed the Lord fo to reftore me, that I recovered my uiual ftrength, and was fre- quently humbled under a fenfe of the tender dealings of a merciful God, whofe goodnefs and owning love I felt to be very near. I then loved retirement, and inwardly to feel after 1 4 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS after the incomes of life, and was often fearful left I mould again fall away. In this time it was manifefted to me, that if in patience I ftood faithful I fhould be called to the work of the miniflry. I loved to at- tend religious meetings, especially thofe for difcipline; and it was clearly fhewn me, that all who attend thofe meetings mould inwardly wait, in great awfulnefs, to know the immediate prefence of Chrift, the head of the Church, to give them an underftand- ing what their feveral fervices are, and for ability to anfwer the requirings of truth ; for it is by the light and fpirit thereof that the Lord's work is done with acceptance, and none mould prefume to fpeak or acl: without its motion or direction : for they who ad: and fpeak without it do often darken counfel, miflead the weak, and expofe their own folly, to the burthen and grief of fen- lible friends. It was in great fear that I attempted to fpeak in thefe meetings, and as I kept low, with an eye fingle to the honour of truth, I felt peace and inward ilrength to increafe from time to time : and it is good for all who are concerned to fpeak to matters in meetings for difcipline, in the firft place to take heed that their own fpirits do not prompt thereto, and to mind the time when to fpeak fitly : for a word in feafon from a pure heart is precious, and frequently prevents debates inflead of minif- tering contention; and when they have fpoken to OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 15 to bulinefs, they fhould turn inward to feel whether the pure truth owns them, and in that reft, without an over anxious care whe- ther it fucceeds at that time or not : fo friends will be preferved from being lifted up becaufe their fervice is immediately own- ed ; or if it fhould be rejected or flighted, in this inward humble ftate the labour is felt and feen to be the Lord's. It is a great favour from the Lord that he is pleafed to cover his children with his pure fear, and array their fouls with the gar- ment of humility, that they may Hand in his prefence with acceptance, waiting to be taught of his ways, in meeknefs to be guided in judgment : thefe only feel the neceffity of minding that excellent exhortation, " Be ye " ftedfaft, immoveable, always abounding in " the work of the Lord." In a degree of reverent thankfulnefs I blefs the name of the Lord through his beloved Son, that I then, according to my meafure, knew what I now write: it v/as a time of growing with me; I rarely pafTed a day without feeling the in- comes of divine life, and was favoured ftrongly to defire " the fincere milk of the '* holy word," that in humility I might grow thereby in fubftance. But afterwards I was left and withdrawn from, fo that for days, yea, many days together, I was with- out inward refremment, and ready to fear that I had offended my gracious Redeemer ; and being thoughtful, and inwardly engaged to 16 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS to know the caufe, I had to confider that children, though they may be thriving, and darlings of their natural parents, are not fit for much bufinefs until they are weaned, and although they grow finely, they are gra- dually taught to wait the appointed time be- tween meals before they have much care of their father's bufinefs, and are further pre- pared, fo as to mifs a fet meal, or be a longer time without outward food, before they are fit for a journey. And with thefe thoughts (leaving the reader to judge from whence they came) a hope began to revive in me that I was not forfaken, which, indeed, as I kept patient, I was abundantly fenfible of at times, even thofe times which are in the Lord's hand: for his children experience that the times of refreshment come from him, who, when he hath exercifed and proved them, in his infinite kindnefs is pleafed to caufe them to fit down, and condefcends himfelf to ferve them. BlerTed for ever be the name of the Lord ! who knows how to prepare his foldiers to remain faithful, and to indure with patience what the natural man would account hardnefs. I had ftrong defires that elderly friends mould be good examples to the youth, not only in word and converfation, but in meet- ings for the worfhip of God, and it grieved me exceedingly to fee any of them overcome with fleep ; and my concern for one friend on that account was fo great, that I knew not of JOHN CHURCHMAN. 17 not what was beft to do, and reafoned after this manner: Lord! thou knoweft that I am young, and he an elderly man, he will not take it well that I mould fpeak to him, and perhaps I may yet fall, and if fo, the more I take upon me the greater my fall will be. Beiides, though I have fpoken in meetings for difcipline, when truth hath been flrong upon me, yet out of meetings I am not fit to reprove, or fpeak to particulars. For I was cautious, indeed, in thofe days, of talk- ing about religion or good things, from a fear of getting a habit thereof, and fo not know the true motion, which I thought I had ob- ferved to be the failing of fome. In this ftreight it came into my mind to go to the perfon in the night, as the moft private time and manner : for if I took him afide before or after a meeting, others might wonder for what, and I might betray my weaknefs, and reproach the good caufe, and do no good ; and if the friend mould be difpleafed with me, he might publickly mew what otherwife he would conceal after a private deliberation. So in the evening I went, deliring the Lord to go with me and guide me, if it was a motion from him. When I came to the houfe it was dark ; I called, and the friend came out to fee who was there, and invited me in. I told him I was in hafte to home, but wanted to fpeak with him if pleafed, and fo parTed quietly toward home, to draw him from the door, and then told C him i8 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS him my concern for him, in a clofe, honefr, plain manner, and, without flaying to reafon much, left him in a tender loving difpofition, as I believe. I returned home with great inward peace. " When thou doeft or giveft " alms, let not thy left hand know what thy " right doth," was an excellent precept : that left hand of felf mould not aft in fuch things ; no matter how privately they are done, they often anfwer the end better; nei- ther is it a fault to lay things low and fami- liar, the truth will have its own weight, and accompany what it dictates with its own evidence. My intention in writing this is to encourage the humbled careful traveller in the way of his duty. At fome times it appeared to be likely to do moft good to write my mind to fome, which I did with fuccefs, as I aimed only at a difcharge of duty in the moft private manner, and the good of thofe to whom I wrote. When I had entered the twenty-fifth year of my age I accompliihed marriage with Margaret Brown, a virtuous young woman, whom I had loved as a fifter for feveral years, becaufe I believed me loved religion. I think I may fay fafely it was in a good de- gree of the Lord's pure fear, and a fenfe of the pointings of truth, on both fides, that we took each other, on the 2yth day of the eleventh month 1729, (old ftile) in an ap- pointed meeting at Eaft Nottingham, and I thought that our Heavenly Father owned us with OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 19 with his prefence at that time. The cove- nants made in marriage are exceeding great, and I think they can never be rightly kept and truly performed without Divine affift- ance; and am convinced, if all who enter in- to a marriage ftate would in the Lord's fear truly feek his affiflance, they would know their own tempers kept down ; and inftead of jarring and difcord, unity of fpirit, har- mony of condudt, and a concern to be exem- plary to their offspring, would increafe and be maintained. The fummer following, in the year 1730, a monthly-meeting was fettled at Notting- ham, . (being before a branch of New-garden monthly-meeting) by the advice and ap- pointment of the quarterly-meeting. This brought a fear and weighty concern upon me and many others, that the affairs of truth might be managed to the honour thereof; for we had but few fubftantial elderly friends. In a fenfe of our weaknefs, it was the breath- ing defire of my foul that the Lord would be pleafed, for his own fake, and the ho- nour of his great name, to be near to his children, and infpire them with wifdom and judgment for his own work; and, blefTed for ever be his holy name! I believe he heard our cry, and in meafure anfwered our prayers: being kept low and humble, it was a growing time to feveral. My affection for friends of New-garden monthly-meeting was fo great, that for many months after we parted C 2 from 20 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS from them, I feldom miffed attending it, and therein had great fatisfaftion : and fome of their members frequently attended ours, for our love towards each other was mutual. When I was about twenty-fix years of age fome friends were appointed to perform a fa- mily viiit, and being defirous of my company, I joined with them, and therein felt the own- ings of truth in fome degree : but notwith- ilanding I faw at times the ftates of families and particulars, yet not in fo clear a manner as I thought neceffary to become my duty to open my mouth in the fervice, fave now and then, in a private way to particulars, of which none knew, except thofe to whom I fpake. At one houfe the friends on the fer- vice had a good opportunity, feveral young folks, fome of whom were not of the fa- mily, being prefent. I felt the Divine pre-. fence to be very near, and a motion to con- clude that fitting in fupplication and thankf- giving to the Lord, but was not hafty, for fear of doing what was not required of me : fo omitted it, and afterwards afked an expe- rienced worthy minifter if he had ever known any friend appear in a meeting in publick prayer before they had ever appeared in publick teftimony ? which enquiry I made in fuch a manner, as to give him no miftrufl of me. He anfwered, " nay; I believe it " would be very uncommon." It ftruck me pretty clofely, but I kept my condition very private, having been exceedingly fear- ful OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 21 ful of deception, and now began to doubt whether it was not a delufion for me to en- tertain an apprehenlion that I mould be called to the work of the miniftry, the concern whereof had been at times very heavy upon me, though no motion that felt like a gen- tle command to break filence, until at the houfe before mentioned. Now I let in rea- foning, and fo departed for a time from my inward guide and fafeft counfellor, as all af- furedly will, who place their dependence on man for inftrudion to perform duties re- quired of them, or who forbear, or reafon againft the humbling gentle motions and leadings of the fpirit of truth. Much fafer it is to attend fteadily thereunto for inftruc- tion and ability to perform religious fervices, which, when fo performed in meeknefs, we ought to be tender of the fentiments of our brethren concerning them, and not over confident of our call and commiffion -, for our brethren have a meafure of the fame fpi- rit by which we are taught, and have a fenfe and right thereby given, to judge of our fer- vice. A becoming diffidence of ourfelves, and a readinefs to attend to the advice of fuch, is ever the badge of true difciplefhip : humbling Divine Love teaches to efteem others rather than ourfelves. This was an exerciiing time to me, but I did not difcover it to any one : I feemed to be quite forfaken, though not fenfible of much judgment for my omiffion of duty ; C 3 fos 22 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS for I could with fincerity appeal to him who knoweth all things, that it did not proceed from wilful difobedience, but a fear of fol- lowing a wrong fpirit; and a fecret hope re- vived, that my gracious Lord and Mafter would not quite caft me off: and, bleffed be his holy name! he did not leave me very long before I was favoured as ufual, but had no motion of the fame kind. When this vifit was over I kept much at home, yet was careful to attend meetings on the firft and other days of the week, and found work enough to watch againft a luke- warm, indolent ipirit, which would come over me when I fat down to wait upon God. Though I came to the meeting in a lively warm engagement of mind, I found the warfare againft lukewarmnefs, fleepinefs, and a roving mind, mufr. be fteadily maintained; and if none of thefe hindrances were given way to, the Lord, when he had proved his children, would arife for their help, and fcat- ter his and their enemies, which my foul hath experienced many times beyond expref- iion. The Lord alone is all-powerful, and worthy to be waited upon and worshipped in humility and reverent adoration of foul for ever. Indolence and lukewarmnefs bring darknefs and death over a meeting, and, when generally given way to, occasion hard work for even the moft livingly exercifed friends to get from under the burthen and weight thereof. It was a mercy that I was preferved feeking, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 23 feeking, and could not be fatisfied without feeling the renewings of Divine favour, by which I rather grew in the root of religion, though I thought very flow, but had hope it would be lafting. The love of truth, I believe it was, and a defire that the difcipline and good order of the church might be maintained, made me willing to take coniiderable pains to attend neighbouring monthly -meetings, which I think was a bleffing to me in fome good de- gree, being thereby often inftru&ed -, and I have often admired at the flacknefs of fome, that fuffer trifling things to keep them from their meetings for worfhip on week days and firfl days > for though curioflty brings fuch to monthly-meetings, they are feldom of any real fervice when they come, not being fenflble of that pure Divine Love in which the church, through its feveral members, edifieth itfelf: and as any become truly fenfible thereof, they will delight to wait upon God with their brethren and fitters, who is the fountain of pure Love, and fo fills the hearts of his humble depending children therewith, that by it they are known to be his difciples. In the year 1731 our ancient and worthy friend William Brown, who had been in the flation of an elder many years, growing fee- ble and incapable to attend the quarterly- meeting of minifters and elders, friends of our particular meeting propofed me to the C 4 monthly- 24 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS monthly -meeting for that fervice; which brought a clofe exercife upon me, confider- ing myfelf a youth, and the weight of the fervice : but, after a folid confideration, I found moft peace in fubmitting to the meet- ing, with fervent inward defires that the Lord would be pleafed to be with me therein, to preferve me from acting or judging in my own will and fpirit, knowing that the fervice could not be performed but by wifdom, under- ftanding and ability from him. When I at- tended thofe large and weighty meetings of mi- niters and elders, the care and fear that was upon me is not eafily exprefled : and may I never forget the gracious condefcenfion of kind Providence, who was pleafed to own me by the fhedding abroad of his love in my heart, that I verily thought they refembled the fchool of the prophets ; the High Prieft, great Prophet, and Bifhop of Souls, our Lord Jefus Chrift, being preildent among them. An apprehenlion that I mould be called to the miniftry, and a concern on that ac- count, had been at times for feveral years weightily on my mind; but I now again thought I was mifbken in that belief, and that it was only a preparative to qualify me for the ftation of an elder, and thereby my exercife became fomewhat lighter for a time. The tendernefs and love I felt to thofe en- gaged in publick miniftry was very great, and I believe I was made helpful to fome, by OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 25 by giving private hints, when and to whom 1 thought there was occaiion, in plainnefs, fimplicity, and fear, which often afforded inftrudion to myfelf, as well as to them. In 1733 I accompanied friends on another vifit to families, wherein, at times, I felt the opening of truth in the love of it, and a few words to fpeak to the ftates of fome ; though in great fear, left I fhould put my hand to that weighty work without the real requiring of duty: and at one family, on a morning pretty early, being the firft we went to on that day, I thought it would be better for the whole family, in a religious fenfe, if the heads of it were more zealous in attend- ing meetings. I faw the neceifity of being examples to children and fervants, by a care- ful attendance of meetings for worfhip on the firft and other days of the week, but I was fo weak and poor, that I doubted whe- ther it was my duty to mention any thing thereof to them, fo concluded to omit it; by which I hoped to judge of what I had been about before, and fo grew eafy in my mind : and as we were on the way to the next houfe, I began to judge, that I had no real bufinefs to have faid any thing at any houfe; and having forborne in my own will, I was now left to my own judgment for a time. At the next houfe friends were parti- cularly opened, and tenderly concerned to fpeak to feveral ftates, and of feveral matters which I thought inftru&ive ; but I fat dry and 26 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS and poor, and fo remained during our paf- fage to the next houfe, where I fared no better, but worfe, my feeling and judgment being quite gone, as to the fervice in which we were engaged ; and though I did not fay any thing to the other friends how it fared with me, yet they were affedted therewith, as I apprehended. I was in great darknefs and diitrefs, and fometimes thought of leaving the company privately, and go home j but again concluded that would not only be a difappointment to my friends, but difho- nourable to truth, which made me determine to go forward, and endure my own pain, as much undifcovered as poilible. My compa- nions, as I before obferved, were affected, and all, fave one, feemed clofed up from doing the fervice, and in the evening of the fame day, at the laft houfe, all of them werefilent. There was a fchool-houfe near, the mafler being a friend, and the children moftly be- longing to friends, whom fome of our com- pany appeared willing to vifit, but others being doubtful, we omitted it; which now fome thought was not right, and that therefore this cloud of darknefs and diftrefs came up- on us, and we were willing to meet at the fchool-houfe next morning, to try if we could recover our former ftrength in the ownings of truth ; which being agreed to, each took his way home. It being now night, and I alone, I rode flow, under a deep cxercife of mind and humble inquiry into the OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 27 the caufe of my own diftrefs; and after fome time, being favoured with great calmnefs and quietude of niind, I was inwardly in- Itru6ted after this manner : ' Thou faweft ' what was wanting in a family this morn- ' ing, and would not exhort to more dili- ' gence or amendment in that refpect, and * therefore if they continue to do wrong, it ' lhall be required of thee;' on which I became broken in fpirit, and cried in fecret, May I not perform it yet, and be restored to thy favour ? O Lord ! I am now willing to do whatfoever thou requireft of me, if thou wilt be pleafed to be-with me. And, bleffed be his name ! in mercy he heard my fupplication, and I was fully perfuaded that I muft go to the houfe again, which I con- cluded to do next morning, and went home with a degree of comfort, and, being weary in body and mind, flept fweetly, and awoke in the morning quiet and eafy in fpirit ; and now began to conclude, that I might meet my company and be excufed \ but my cove- nant of going was brought to my remem- brance, and I was given to believe that peace was reftored on condition of my perform- ance ; therefore I went to the houfe, though feveral miles diftant, before fun-rife. The man of the houfe was up ; he invited me in, and I followed him, and fitting down by the fire (being cool weather) with my mind re- tired, I felt that I muft not fpeak before the reft of the family, but rather in private, yet 28 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS yet was fearful of calling him out, being unwilling to difcover any thing to them. In the mean time he went out, and walked the way I was to go j I followed, and told him how I felt when we were at his houfe the morning before, and could not be eafy without exhorting him to be more careful in feveral refpefts, and a better example to his family in his attendance of meetings; he feemed affected, and faid he hoped he mould mind my advice. I then left him, and met my companions at the fchool-houfe, and en- joyed great peace. I leave this remark to excite all to dwell in meeknefs and fear, and to beware of the will of the creature, and the reafonings of flefh and blood, which lead in- to doubting and difobedience. They who are faithful in fmall things, mall truly know an increafe in that wifdom and knowledge which is from above. Before we had gone through this vifit I attended the quarterly-meeting of minifters and elders at Concord, and as I fat therein, the unwearied adverfary renewed a former charge againfl me, by fuggefling to my mind that I might know I had been wrong, and under a delufion, in entertaining a belief that I mould be called to the work of the miniftry; for that all who had ever been rightly engaged therein, it was in acrofs greatly to the will of the creature, which was not my cafe, for I was willing. This I felt to be true, and was therefore now exceedingly dif- OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 29 diflreffed, not confidering that I was made willing by the weight of the exercife, which had been feveral years at times very heavy upon me, until it feemed as a fire in my bones, and as though " I was dumb with " filence, I held my peace, even from good; " and my forrow was flirred ; my heart " was hot within , me; while I was mufing, " the fire burned," Pfal. xxxix. 2, 3. While under this conflict, a friend flood up with thefe words : " Alfo I heard the voice of " the Lord, faying, whom (hall I fend, and " who will go for us ? Then faid I, here " am I, fend me," Ifa. vi. 8. fhewing, that ' to them whofe will was rightly fub- jedted to the Lord, it became their meat and drink to do the will of him who had fubjected them by his divine power, and influenced their hearts with his love to mankind :' by which I was relieved, and my fpirit humbled and made thankful. Next morning, being the firfl day of the week, I went to Kennet meeting, and toward the clofe thereof fomething appeared to my mind to offer, but was fearful that f jie motion for fpeaking was not enough powerful, and had like to have forborne, but remembering what I had fuflfered by neglecting a weak motion in a family vifit, as already related, I flood up, and fpake a few fentences in great fear and brokennefs of fpirit, and had folid fatif- faction. I attended the quarterly - meeting of bufinefs at Concord on fecond day, on my 30 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS my return from whence I let in the old reafoner, who fuggefted to me, that if I was called to the publick miniftry, I had not waited for a fufficient commiffion to fpeak ; for fome had been railed up with great power and authority they could not with- ftand, hut that I might have been ftill and quiet, the motion was fo gentle and low ; and that I muft not think to fpeak in pub- lick testimony in great meetings with fo fmall a motion, and in fo doing I had com- mitted a fin that would not be readily for- given, perhaps a fin againft the Holy Ghoft. My exercife was great, but as I endeavoured to be quiet in my mind, feeking to know the truth of my prefent condition, I was fecretly drawn to follow and attend to fome- thing that fpoke inwardly, after this man- ner, ' If thou wail to take a lad, an entire ' ftranger to thy language and buiinefs, how- ' ever likely he appeared for fervice, thou ' muft fpeak loud and diftinctly to him, and ' perhaps with an accent or tone that might * mew thee to be in earnefl, to engage his ' attention, and point out the bufinefs ; but * thou wouldft expect it mould be otherwife * with a child brought up in thine houfe, ' who knew thy language, and with whom ' thou hadft been familiar: thou wouldft ' expect him to wait by thee, and watch ' thy motions, fo as to be inftructed by thine ' eye looking upon him, or pointing thy fin- * ger, and wouldft rebuke or correct fuch an ' one OF JOHN CHURCHMAN*. 31 e one, if he did not^obey thy will on fuch a ' fmall intelligent information.' I was in- itantly relieved thereby, and leave my rea- der to judge from whence this intimation came, believing it would be no crime in me to judge it to be from the Spirit of Truth, that was to lead and guide into all Truth. When this meeting was over, being in the ninth month, 1733, we proceeded to fmifli our family viiit. The part which remained was on the weft fide of Sufquehanna, at Bum river, and a few families begun to fet- tle near Deer- creek. We were remarkably fa- voured with the prefence of our great and good Mafter, who opened the ftates of fa- milies to us, and gave ability to fpeak there- to : may his his holy name be praifed ! The vifit being finiihed, we returned home ; and in a Ihort time after, as I fat in a week day meeting, I had a few words frefh before me, with a gentle motion to deliver them, which I feared to omit, ftill remembering what fol- lowed a former negledt ; fo I exprefled what was on my mind, and therein had peace, and afterwards was filent for feveral weeks, in which time I let in a fear I was forfaken by my dear Lord and Mafter, whom I loved above all things. For I had no openings in heavenly things, as I thought, but was left poor and needy; yet I loved friends, and, remembering a faying of a minifter formerly, " We know that we are pafTed from death " unto life, becaufe we love the brethren," i John 32 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS i John iii. 14. I hoped that I was not quite forgotten. Some remarkable fentences had fixed in my mind fometime before, which I now began to underftand more fenfibly. ' Mi- * niflry mould be of neceffity, and not of * choice, and there is no living by filence, * or by preaching merely.' For fomething in me was ready to wifh to be employed, that I might have bread; for when I found a motion to fpeak I had the owning love of the heavenly Father, which is and ever will be bread to his children. The creaturely will would choofe, and would be bufy with queftioning, Is it not, or may it not be fo and fo ? This is that womanifh part, which is not permitted to fpeak in the church : it runs firft into tranfgreffion, for want of learning of the hufband. at home, or being in fubjection to him j which if Eve had li- terally done, inftead of reafoning with the ferpent that tempted, me might have been preferved from being a tempter. Our flrength, prefervation, health, and peace, ftand in our entire fubjection to the will of the Lord, whether in filence or fpeaking, fufFering or reigning, ftill dwelling with the feed (Chrift) in our own hearts, humbly waiting for and feeling after his power to arife, who is the Refurreclion and the Life, and when he is pleafed to appear, his children partake in meafure of his glory. I continued in the flation of an elder, and fometimes delivered a few fentences in pub- lick OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 33 lick teftimony, which occafioned me to ap- prehend that I mould not be in my proper place, except I requeued to be released from my elderfhip. After a time of weighty con- fideration, I modeftly requefted that friends would confider my cafe ; for inftead of tak- ing care of the miniftry of others, I ftood in need of the care of others, and that it would be relieving to my mind, if they would nominate an elder in my room; which was taken into confideration for a time, friends waiting, I fuppofe, to fee what proof I fhould make of my miniftry. I attended the win- ter quarterly-meeting of minifters and elders, and had to give an account of the miniflry at our meeting. The elders being called to anfwer one after another in order, according to the fettlement of the meetings they be- longed to, a fear ftruck me left a form of words was too much in general obferved, particularly, ' that the miniftry was well re- ' ceived.' When my turn came, I could not be eafy without varying that part, and inftead of faying ' the miniflry of the minifters is well received,' I faid that I believed the mi- niftry of the publick friends was generally approved of; and added, that I did wifh that the miniftry of all the miniftring friends was better received than I conceived it was. Whereupon I was afked what I meant ; and, under the weight I felt on my mind, I re- plied it was not from a thought of bearing hard on the fervice of the publick friends, D but 34 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS but from the difference of approving there- of, becaufe they believed it to be right, and attending no further, which would not do the work; but to put in practice what they heard recommended, was only well receiving of it, and if that was really the cafe, our fociety would appear more beautiful than at prefent. Thus the matter clofed, and I had peace in the remark. I think this was the laft meeting I attended as an elder : before the next quarterly-meeting in the fecond month, 1734, another was recommended in my place. About this time, as I fat in one of our own meetings, I felt a flow of affeclion to the people; for many not of our fociety came there, perhaps out of curiofity, feveral young ministers having come forth in pub- lick teftimony. In which extraordinary flow of affection I had a very bright opening, as I thought, and expected to ftand up with it very foon, but being willing to weigh it carefully was not very forward, viewing its decreafing brightnefs, until fomething faid, as it were within me, * Is the woe in it ? is ' neceffity laid upon thee? i Cor. ix. 16. and therefore woe if thou preach not the gofpel ?* This put me to a ftand, and made me feel after the living prefence of him, in whofe name and power I defired to fpeak, if I ap- peared in teftimony; and not feeling the pure life and power of truth, fo as to ftand up, the brightn,efs of the viiion faded, and left OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 35 left me quiet, humble, and thankful for this prefervation. The drawing ftrength and lufting deiire of the unftable, who centre not to the pure gift in themfelves, are as the many waters, or fea of myftery Babylon, for her merchants to fail their mips and trade upon. This was a time of inward growing to me, the welfare of the churches was ftrongly defired, and the extendings of the love of the Heavenly Father I felt at times to reach over fea and land, to my great admiration ; but however my heart was en- larged, I believed it was my duty to retire inward, and wait with patience until my friends mould fo approve of my miniftry, as to recommend me as a minifter, before I made any requeft to go much abroad ; though I went to fome neighbouring meetings, fuch as I could go to in a morning, and return home at night, but not without acquainting fome elderly friends therewith, and defiring their company, which I generally had. In the winter 1735-6, William Brown, my brother-in-law, my fifter, Dinah Brown, (then a widow) and myfelf, were all recom- mended to the meeting of minifters and el- ders as minifters, and at this meeting I let a certain friend know that for fome time I had a defire to vifit friends at Newtown, Middletown, Gofhen, Cain, and Bradford meetings, hoping that he would go with me; for without fome fuitable companion 1 was not eafy to go, becaufe it would be ne- D 2 ceflary 36 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS cefTary that notice mould be given, to anfwer the end of a viiit; which he alfo thought necefTary, and let me know that he would take the needful care, which I fuppofed was previoufly to inform fome friends of each meeting, in order that they might acquaint their neighbours, if they had freedom, and I was eafy, not; knowing but he would bear me company. On third day I was at the general meeting of worfhip held at Provi- dence, and at the breaking up thereof, the friend whom I had fpoken to flood up, and gave public notice that I intended to fit with friends at the meetings aforefaid, and named the days in order, and requefted friends would take proper care -to give notice; at which I was exceedingly furprized, and re- pented that I had fpoken thereof. I would have gladly ran home, but for fear of bring- ing a reproach, and to me it feemed likely it would be the cafe if I purfued the trad; laid out for me : in this ftrait I was hum- bled, even to weeping. A fympathizing ex- perienced friend came to me, and fpake af- fectionately, bidding me not to be caft down, for it was heard with gladnefs that it was in my heart to vifit thofe meetings ; and that if I lived, and did well, I muft meet with greater trials. I fuppofe friends of thofe meetings knew more of me than I expected, for I had carefully attended meetings of difcipline fe- veral years, and had been fometimes active therein : the meetings were generally pretty full OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 37 full, and I believe truth owned my fervice. In this little journey friends were very kind to me, and I was afraid too free in manifert- ing of it. Indeed there are many indulgent nurfes, many forward inftructors, but too few fathers in the church; who, having been acquainted with him the Great Alpha in their tender beginning, and by dwelling in his holy counfel and fear, have the care of the members at heart, and in the wifdom of truth know how to inftrucl:, advife, and conduct themfelves towards fuch who are called to the Lord's work, according to their fcveral difpofitions, growths, and gifts re- ceived ; in order that they might be preferved growing in and by him, the Alpha, expe- riencing him, their beginning, to be with them, and to be the Omega in their conclu- ilon ; the Firfl and the Laft, all in all, the Lord God over all, blefTed in himfelf and the Son of his love, our holy High Pried and Instructor. For want of proper caution herein fome have valued themfelves above what they ought, and thereby reduced their credit with others. In the fummer following I felt a fecret gentle draft to vifit the meetings in the back parts of Chefter, Philadelphia and Bucks counties; which continuing with me, and my brother-in-law William Brown having the like concern, we acquainted friends at our monthly-meeting, late in the fall of the year, and had their concurrence, and I be- D 3 lieve 38 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS lieve their good wimes for us. So in the tenth month, 1736, we proceeded, and went to Gofhen, Radnor, and to a general meet- ing at Haverford, and to an evening meeting at a fchool-houfe in Upper Merion, and over Schuylkill to Plymouth : we had good fatif- faction moftly. I could fee that my brother grew in his gift ; and after one of the meet- ings, a well-meaning friend told me that I was a feer, and knew the ftates of people better than they could inform me, at which I felt fome fecret pleafure, yet not without (as I thought) an humble fear, knowing that flattery or unguarded commendation, if liftened to, is a kind of poifon to young minifters, and fometimes makes them fwell beyond the proper fize. At Plymouth I had an open meeting, and it feemed to me as if what I had to fay was received freely by the people, and after meeting I was filled with joy to fuch a degree that I wept, and dropped behind my company (to keep undifcovered) in our going to a friend's houfe; inwardly praying that it might be taken from me, for I feared that, by the natural part in me, it was taken to excefs. Next day we had a fmall meeting in Job Pugh's houfe, where I thought I faw the ftates of particulars very clear, and had fomething to fay, which per- haps I delivered in too ftrong terms, confi- dering my age and experience in the mi- niftry : a becoming fear and modefty in ex- preffion is very ornamental and fafe for mi- tt ifters, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 39 nifters, both young and old. After meeting we went home with Edward Evans to North Wales, who converfed but little with us, but was grave and folid, and therein a good example to mej for fometimes young minif- ters hurt themfelves by too much talking, and draw from others of like freedom things not convenient for them to hear. The next day we were at North Wales meeting, which was large, being firft day. My brother Wil- liam Brown appeared in the fore part, and had good fervice; afterwards I ftood up, with a large and good opening as I thought, but found hard work, and fat down again with- out much relief, which being a little unu- fual, I ventured to ftand up again, and, with a zeal that exceeded my childifh knowledge, laid on fome ftrokes with the ftrength of the man's part more than with the hum- bling power of truth : for if we deliver hard things to the people, we mould ever re- member that we are flefh and blood, and by nature fubjed: to the fame frailties. This would lead us clofely to attend to the pow- er, and to minifter only in the ability of truth, in the meeknefs, gentlenefs, and wif- dom which it infpires. I foon fat down again, and in a moment felt myfelf left in great darknefs, and friends broke up the meeting in a minute or two after, which I foon thought was rather unkind, as it feemed to (hew a publick diflike, when a private ad- monition, which I believed was my due, D 4 would 4 o THE LIFE AND TRAVELS would have anfwered the end better. But when I knew they held an afternoon meet- ing, I judged I had infringed on the time, and the weight of the trial fettled ftill deeper on my mind. In the afternoon I fat lilent, and was very much dejected, and my good friend Evan Evans, an experienced minifter and father in the church, bid me be fteady and inward, looking to the Lord, who knew how to deal with his children, and gently correct, as well when they went too faft as too flow. This fatherly tender hint fully opened my eyes; for before I was in fome doubt wherein I had miffed : I now be- lieved he faw I was too zealous and for- ward, and believed alfo that he had judg- ment of truth, this was enough for me ; I abhorred myfelf, and was in great fear that I mould not be forgiven. Another friend told me, that I only felt an oppofmg fpirit in fome, whole ftates had been remarkably fpo- ken to by me, and defired me not to be too much caft down, for I had the mind of truth. This, inftead of relieving, rather added to my affliction ; for I faw it would have a tendency, if heeded, to take me from under the hand of the Lord, which was heavy upon me ; and fomething in me faid, * Let God be true, and every man a liar ;' ' keep to the witnefs in thine own heart ; ' attend to the Spirit of Truth there, and * mind its reproof.' Man, through natural affection and fympathy, may err, and admi- nifter OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 41 nifter falfe inftruftion, but the other pro- ceeds from the God of Truth. I would have given all that I had to have been at home; for I greatly feared that I fhould bring a reproach on the truth, the honour whereof was dear to me. I hid my diftrefs as much as poffible, and proceeded to attend meetings with my brother, whom I greatly preferred, and was afraid to difcourage by my complaints. We were at a meeting at Skippack, and at another at Perkioming or New Providence, in each whereof I had fo much light and underftanding as to offer a few words, but the fervice lay chiefly on my brother. From thence we went to Oley, where I had a few things to deliver in a friend's houfe in an evening, fitting with his family, which was large. The friend in great tendernefs ob- ferved afterward, that revelation was not ceafed, for their ftates were very exactly fpoken to; at which I marvelled, for I was greatly reduced, and thought myfelf one of the pooreft and mofl unqualified that ever travelled in that great fervice in whicli we were now engaged. This difpenfation, though forrowful to wade through, was very hum- bling and profitable to me, who perhaps but a little before was ready to think I knew fomething about preaching, but now knew nothing, that I might more fully underftand that he who thinketh of himfelf " he know- " eth any thing, knoweth nothing as he " ought 42 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS " ought to know;" to wit, that all pure knowledge is fealed up in him who is the Fountain of Wifdom and Knowledge, to be only opened by himfelf to his dependant children, by the revelation of his own Spi- rit, when and to whom he pleafes. From hence we went to Maiden Creek, and to Richland in Bucks county, being Hill low in my mind, yet favoured for a few mi- nutes in meetings, in which I had a few fentences, and then was clofed up again. I was like one who having learned a few things or rules in literal knowledge, was again turned back again to his beginning. From thence we went to Plumftead in Bucks county, (here I was rather more en- larged) and to Buckingham, Wrightftown, Falls, Middletown, Briftol, and over on the ice to Burlington in New Jerfey, the wea- ther being exceeding cold, and came back again on the ice over Delaware the fame evening to Briftol, and thence proceeded to Byberry and Hormam meetings -, and by this time I was relieved from the depreffion of fpirit I felt before, yet was under an hum- ble reverent fear, not forgetting the meeting at North Wales : I was in fome degree again ad- mitted to behold the lifting up of the Heavenly Father's countenance, which makes the fo- litary rejoice. From Hormam we went to a meeting appointed at William Hallowell's. The company of the man who undertook to mew us the way not being agreeable, we perfuaded OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 43 perfuaded him to return, and fo were left, not knowing the way to the houfe, which made me very thoughtful, left we mould mifs our way, and friends would then be blamed for neglecl: of duty towards us. As I was thus pondering in my mind a faith arofe that Providence could direct, and that moment I beheld the track of a man who had croffed the road we were in, and felt a fudden turn of mind to follow the fame, which made me quite eafy. It brought us to a field, where we found the fence down on both fides, and led to the houfe where friends were gathered, and we were not dif- covered to be without a guide ; for which I was thankful, believing it to be the fecret direction of kind Providence, and not barely chance. I relate this with a view to excite fuch as may meet with difficulties to rely on him alone who can mew the way, and give faith to follow 5 but man muft be humble and quiet in mind, to underftand the inward gentle fenfe that truth favours with. This fmall gathering was owned in a good degree with the Divine prefence. From thence we pafled to Abington and Frankfort meetings, and to Philadelphia; and after vifiting of thofe meetings we turned to Germantown, and fo over Schuylkill to Me- rion meeting, where we met our worthy friend John Fothergill, who had great and good fervice therein, with whom my bro- ther William Brown returned to Philadel- phia, 44 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS phia, to the quarterly-meeting, which began next day ; and while he was abfent from me, I attended Springfield and Newtown meet- ings, when he again came to me. We at- tended fome other meetings until our quar- terly-meeting began, at which was our friend John Cadwalader from Hormam, who had good fervice. After which I returned home, and was glad to fit with friends in our own meeting, wherein I did not fee it was my place to fay much, but by example to recommend filence. Early this fpring (1737) the Lord was pleafed to try me with poverty and inward want, which brought me into great fearch- ings of heart, and fecret enquiry into the caufe; but I could not underftand that I had wilfully difobeyed, neither flood convicted in my mind for doing amifs ; but my po- verty and inward want increafed, with dif- trefs and doubting to that degree, that I be- gan to fear I had miftaken, and took error for truth, and in my own imagination formed a religion, and for the rebellion of my youth was fuffered to go on until now; and all that ever I had done was brought into judg- ment and reduced to nothing; and the ene- my endeavoured to flir me up to impatience, and to perfuade me that my tranfgreffions would never be forgiven. Many days of forrow and nights of fore diftrefs I paffed through, and began to defpair of ever be- holding OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 45 holding the light of the Heavenly counte- nance lifted up towards me again. Towards the laft of the third month I went to Sadfbury, to fettle a difpute about the bounds of land ; and having fomething to do near Samuel Nutt's iron works on French Creek, as I was going thither, being alone, and my inward forrow and diftrefs very great, I thought I would now endea- vour to vent it, were it but in mournful groans; and drawing in my breath, in order to vent it in a groan, my inward anguifh feemed to burn like fire, and I was inftantly ftaid from breaking forth; for I was per- fuaded my paflion of grief, if given way unto, would go beyond bounds, to the tear- ing of my cloaths, if no further : my heart not being tender, I could not weep, which brought me to a more calm paufe than I had known for fome time, and therein was ready to fay, Can the good hand be ftill near to flay me ? O that I may have patience given, and refolution ftrengthened to continue feek- ing, and if at laft I mould perim, that it may be at his footftool ! For a fmall fpace I had fome hope of beholding again him whom my foul once loved above all things; but in a few miles riding it began to look pleafant to me to go into fome remote place, where I mould not be known. When re- flecting thus what ! abandon mine acquaint- ance ! violate my marriage covenant, and leave my deareft connections ! I fuddenly knew 46 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS knew this profpect of pleafure was from the evil one, and fomething in me abhorred it as wicked, and as it were clofed my eyes therefrom; fo that evening I went to the houfe of a former intimate acquaintance to lodge, who received me kindly, and in the evening brought a book containing fome af- tronomical problems, and began to converfe very freely thereon, fuppofing it would be j>leafant to me as aforetime; but I was heavy in my fpirit, and inwardly thoughtful about fomething of another nature, and he foon perceiving his converfation on that fubjecl was difagreeable, propofed my going to bed, as fitteft for a weary man, judging that to be my prefent ailment ; I was glad of the offer, and immediately accepted thereof. I now faw clearly that when my mind was turned from delighting in that wherein our former friendmip coniifted, my company was rather unpleafant to him. I foon left his houfe in the morning, difpatched my bufmefs, and returned home with as much fpeed as I could, without the leafl inclination to go elfewhere. I believe my prayer was heard, for I had patience granted to me ; I fay granted, becaufe no man can endue him- felf therewith, and I think my diftrefs gra- dually abated after the time aforementioned. When one has farted, and fuffered the want of natural food for a long feafon, men of prudence will portion out the food they give to fuch with care, that ftrength may be OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 47 be increafed and the conftitution preferred healthful and found. The Lord, whofe love and care to his children doth far exceed that of any natural parent to his offspring, dealt with me in his tender mercy, giving at times, by the gentle touches of his love, to feel that he had not forfaken me, which in a few minutes would be again withdrawn; but, though of mort continuance, was fuffi- cient for me to own it was worth all my forrowful longing for; and hereby he was pleafed to let me experimentally know the value of heavenly bread by the want of it. Having food and raiment, I was now taught to be therewith content : the renewing of heavenly favour, and the covering of the Holy Spirit, fo as to be admitted to {land before him in humble reverence with gra- cious acceptance, was all my foul craved. I neither wanted this man's gift, nor the other man's popularity and eloquence, but to be in mercy admitted into the number of his fa- mily, and occupying mine own gift to his honour alone that gave it. When Peter was examined by his Lord, whom he had denied through fear, " Lovefl thou me more than " thefe?" the third time anfwered, " Thou '.' knoweft all things, thou knoweft that I " love thee," he did not anfwer the quef- tion in its full extent, viz. more than tbefe, with refpedt to the reft of the difciples, who had not denied their Lord and Mafter, as Peter had done, who was neverthelefs looked upon 48 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS upon with forgiving companion, and there- fore had need to love in proportion. Per- haps his honeft confettion and appeal to his Matter's knowledge might fhorten his an- fwer. His threefold charge of feeding the iheep and lambs of his Lord was necettary, to gain his diligent attention to the work of him whom he had three times denied : he to whom much is forgiven loveth much, if he is not ungrateful. No marvel that I met with this trial of my love and affection, who fo often (not through fear, but the delire of indulging my creaturely will) had denied or neglected to follow my Lord and Matter, who had fo early made me acquainted with his will, and who now had patted by mine offences, and called me to work in his vine- yard. Now I was made thankful for favours which before had been fcarcely owned as fuch : for to be preferved inwardly watchful, and quietly refigned to wait upon the Lord, though we partake not of immediate confo- lation by the renewing of life, is a great blefling, for which we ought to be thank- ful, as we cannot ftay our own minds, nor curb our thoughts. And I did believe that labour was healthful, created an appetite, and fweetened the relifh of reft and food in a fpiritual as well as natural fenfe, and there- fore I wanted not to eat the bread of idle- nefs, and live on the labour of others. After this trial, which continued mott of the fummer, I was much favoured with the incomes OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 49 incomes of Divine Love and Life, and in the winter following vifited moft of the meetings in Chefter county, and fome few in Philadelphia county. The weather was very cold, being about the middle of the tenth month when I fet out, and in my journey went to vifit a worthy friend who was indifpofed, and lodged at his houfe; and as we fat together in the evening he afked me why I chofe the winter feafon to vifit my friends, for many infirm folks could hardly attend meetings, and faid he was fometimes ready to query whether publick friends do not take that time to ferve their Mafter, becaufe they could do but little for themfelves. I was thoughtful and low in my mind before, and had fome reafoning, whether it had not been better that I had ftaid at home, than ventured out on the fer- vice at that time of the year. Though I thought I had an engagement fufficient when I fet out, this query of his made me more thoughtful, and added to my reafon- ing ; but I foon recovered ftrength, and it came frefh in my mind to afk him whe- ther friends could eat to fupply and fuftain their bodies in the furnmer, and partake alfo of fpiritual food for their fouls in that fea- fon, fo as not to labour in the winter, and care for the fuilenance of their bodies ; or affemble and attend meetings to worfhip and wait upon God for fpiritual food for their fouls ? He acknowledged I had by this E query 50 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS query fatisfied him to the full, and faid he was glad of my vifit, and hoped his talking as he did would not difcourage me ; for I believe he faw it brought a damp over me at firft. This anfwer I believe was given to me for mine own help, and was encourage- ment to me through this journey, in which I had moft of the time Jofhua Johnfon of Londongrove for a companion, who was very agreeable, and in my return home I felt great peace. CHAP. II. His journey 'with Robert Jordan to the Wef- tern part of Maryland in the year 1738. Alfo to the Quarterly -meeting at Skrewjbury in New Jerfey And 'with 'John Hunt through that province His 'vi/it to the Eaftern ft ore of Maryland His journey to Fairfax and Hopewell in Virginia t in com- pany with a committee of friends And a fecond time to the Eajlern foore of Mary- landy with John Cadwalader and companion And his vi/it to New-England, in com- pany with Samuel Hopwood, in 1 742 . IN the fummer following I went with Robert Jordan to Weft-river yearly- meeting, in Maryland, and we vifited moft of the meetings of friends in that province, and his company was profitably inftructive to OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 51 to me, who was but young in the miniftry. I think I knew him well : he had a good gift of the miniflry, and was highly favoured in the living openings of truth, but was often low in mind, and very humble in fpi- rit. One time, as we were riding together, he lagged behind for feveral miles ; I aflced him why he rode fo flow, he made no reply, whereupon I flopped until he came up : his countenance was lolid, and looked as if he had been weeping; I afked what ailed him. After fome time he told me that he had been thinking of the great favours which man partook of, particularly in being placed over the beafls of the field, and how eafily they were broke and made fubject to his will ; what a fmall turn with the bridle would put them to the right hand or the left, and on a gentle motion would amend or flacken their pace, at the will or pleafure of the ri- der ; and that man, the moft noble and in- telligent creature, mould fo far neglect the duty of a willing fubjection to his Maker, who fo highly has favoured him with tem- poral bleffings, and the knowledge of hea- venly things. I had been at that meeting about three years before, having had fome bufmefs to do for a friend of mine on the Eaftern more of Chefapeak, and crofTed over the bay to the Weftern fhore, and was at the yearly-meeting; and being grieved at the conduct of fome of the elders, whofe age, if they had kept to the truth, and had been 2 zealous 52 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS zealous for the honour thereof, would have made them better examples, 1 fpoke my mind plainly to them, but not without pro- per caution (as I thought) both with refpect to my youth and their age ; but fome feemed a little warmed thereby, and afked for my certificate, if I had any. I honeftly told them the principal bufmefs that brought me from home was temporal, which having ac- commodated, I thought I might attend that meeting without offence, if I did not mif- behave myfelf. William Richardfon defired friends to confider what I had faid, for he believed if they did they would perceive the young man had a certificate with him, that might anfwer for one of a neighbouring pro- vince to attend fuch a meeting. It may not be unfeafonable to relate that in the year 1736, one night, as I lay in bed, my mind was uncommonly affected with the incomes of Divine Love and Life, and there- in I had a view of the churches in New- Jerfey, with a clear profpect that I mould vifit them : and in that profpect and the ftrength of affedion which I then felt, I faid in my heart, It is enough, I will prepare for the journey as foon as I can hear of a fuit- able companion ; for I do not expect that I fhall have a clearer fight 'than I now have. I foon heard of a friend who had a vifit to New-Jerfey before him j I fpoke to him about my concern; he let me know that he knew of a companion, and they had agreed upon OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 53 upon a time to proceed. After I had men- tioned it to him and fome other friends, my concern feemed to die away; but I remem- bered the refolution that I took up, and that I then had thought I would not look to be bidden again ; and was fearful fomething had drawn my mind from the proper attention to that opening, which was the reafon it feemed to go off; but the more I fr.ro ve to look after it, the duller it grew. I then forely repented that I had fpoken about it, and thought it mould be a warning to me in fu- ture : for I began to fee there was a differ- ence between feeing what was to be done, and being bidden to do the thing mewn. Befides this, I had to confider there was a time to bud, a time to bloffom, a time for fruit to fet and appear, and a time for it to ripen. And in the fore part of the winter, 1738, I thought it feemed to revive, and when I faw John Hunt, a friend from England, I believed I mould go with him when he went through New-Jerfey, and told him what I thought, at which he rejoiced, for we were nearly united. So we appointed a time to meet at Philadelphia, and when we had fo far concluded, being about fix weeks beforehand, my concern, as I thought, foon withered away, and I began to be in great fear that I had been again too forward there- in ; but after fome time of humbling exer- cile on that account, the Lord, whom I E 3 feared, 54 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS feared, from the love with which he was pleafed to enrich my heart, gave me to re- member, that when I made the appointment with my friend, it was in his fear, and great abafement of felf, and, as I had feen clearly to make the appointment, it was my place to attend in humble reliance on him for ability to perform the embafTy; for the Lord, who calleth and fendeth forth his own, will alfo provide all things convenient for them. When the time came, I fet forward very poor and needy, which continued until we entered our fervice. We took a few meet- ings before our general fpring meeting, and after attending that we went to Woodberry, Piles-grove, iralem, Alloways-creek, Cohan- He, and fo to Cape May, and had fome clofe work, but in the main fatisfa&ory to our- felves at leaft. After having feveral meetings at and near the Capes, we went to Great- Egg-harbour, and had a meeting there, and another at the houfe of our friend Japhet Leeds, and fo over the Marfhes to Little- Egg-harbour river, and had two meetings with friends, in one of which I flood up with a large opening, as I thought; but after a mort introduction it clofed up, and I fat down again, which was fome mortification to me as a man, though very profitable, be- ing thereby taught to know that he that would fpeak as the oracle of God muir., un- der the gentle burden of the word, in hum- ble OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 55 ble fear wait for wifdom, utterance and abi- lity, to perform the fervice to the edifica- tion of the church and his own inward peace, an4 not to look after large and fpe- cious openings, fometimes deferable to the creatureiy part, both in ourfelves and others, which muft furFer famine. At one of the meetings in thefe parts, coming very early, a friend belonging there- to invited us to go to his houfe, not far off, and he would put up our horfes to hay during the time of the meeting, faying, that we muft go to his houfe to dine; but I felt a ftop in my mind, and told him that our horfes could ftand very well there until after meeting. It fo fell out that neither of us faid any thing in the meeting, which never- thelefs was to us fatisfadlory ; for we had a fenfe, that the people had been fed with words, and had a hunger thereafter, more than for the inftru<5tion of the pure word of Power and Life nigh in the heart and mouth, that they might not only hear it, but be found doers thereof. After the meeting no one afked us to dine, but went away and left us, and had it not been for the care of our kind guide, that came from the meeting we were laft at, we mould have been at a lofs to have got forward. I mention this to (hew how unacceptable filence is to fuch whofe ears itch after words. From hence we went through the defert to Upper Springfield, where we had a fatif- E 4 factory c6 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS v factory meeting ; then taking the meetings northward to Stonybrook and Trenton, we returned to Bordentown, and fo croffed De- laware. Some- of the meetings were large, and very fatisfactory under the owning of truth, the power whereof was in dominion, and the name of the Lord praifed, who is worthy for ever ; and fome were remarkably clofe and hard, which made me remember a laying of that experienced minifler and elder John Fothergill, that, ' When he was firil in this country, he had fome extraordinary meetings hereaway, the people being in- duftrious in a natural as well as fpiritual fenfe, fome of whom were now removed, and their children poflerTed the temporal eftates of their fathers 5 and though their outward habitations looked fpacious, their meetings for wormip were dull and heavy, by reafon of a worldly fpirit, and their indifference about heavenly treafure.' One meeting which we were at was remarkably hard; my companion John Hunt was ex- ceedingly exercifed, under a fenfe that the people were too rich, full, and whole in their own eyes. He fat the meeting through, and fuffered in filence; but I had fomething to fay very clofe and particular, and felt a degree of the ftrength and power of truth to clear myfelf in an innocent and loving man- ner, and, remembering they were brethren, did not preach myfelf out of charity to- wards them, and fo had peace. We went home OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 57 home with an elderly friend, who, in a ftern manner, aiked me from whence I came, and faid I was a ft ranger to him. I anfwered him with a cheerful boldnefs. He afked me what my calling was; I told him hufbandry. He farther queried if I was ufed to fplitting of wood ; I let him know I had practifed it for many years. He again afked me, if I knew the meaning of a common faying of thofe who were ufed to that bufineis, ' 'Tis foft ' knocks muft enter hard blocks :' I told him I knew it well; but there was fome old wood, that was rather decayed at heart, and to ftrike with a foft or gentle blow at a wedge in fuch blocks, would drive it to the head without rending them, and the la- bour would be loft, when a few fmart lively ftrokes would burft them afunder. Where- upon he laid his hand on my moulder, fay- ing, ' Well, my lad ; I perceive thou art ' born for a warrior, and I commend thee/ And thus we came off better than we ex- pefted ; for I thought he pointed at my fer- vice that day. He was ever afterward very loving to me, and I was inwardly thankful that the Lord was near to me, for which I praife his facred name ! To be becomingly bold in the caufe of truth, at times is parti- cularly neceffary; otherwife the weight of the teftimony thereof would be leflened, and a carping fpirit fet over it. From Bordentown we went to Plumftead, ;n Bucks-county, and on a firft day had a pretty 58 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS pretty good meeting, and to a monthly- meeting af Buckingham, then to Wrights-' town, the Falls, and Middletown, which meetings were in a good degree fatisfactory, the reaches of the Power of Truth heing felt to extend, for which we were thankful. Though in fome of them there is too great a want of faithful members to put the dif- cipline in practice againft thofe that were dilbrderly, and thereby brought a reproach on the truth. We then went to Philadel- phia, and next day to Chefler, from whence I went home the fame day. In the fall of the year 1740, I had forne drawings in my mind' to attend the quarter- ly-meeting at Shrewlbury, and was at feve- ral meetings on my way thither ; at one of which a friend appeared, who I thought had good fervice in the fore part of his teftimo- ny; but as truth did not rife into dominion fo high as he expected, perhaps in too much zeal and creaturely warmth, he hid on a little too faft, and continued until the life ra- ther abated, and fome tender minds were hurt. For it often happens, that fuch to whom hard things belong, will put them off, and thofe who are more tender, and leaft deferv- ing of fuch doctrine, will take -it to them- felves, to their own hurt. Oh ! how care- ful minifters ought to be whilft they are in their fervice, that they may be favoured with an inward feeling fenfe of the ftates to which they minifler, and be influenced with Wif- dom, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 59 dom from above, to divide the word aright, in meeknefs, gentlenefs, and holy fear, then truth will have its own weight, authority, and power. After the friend fat down, it became the concern of another, in a few words, as it were to number the flain, and fearch for the wounded, and let clofe and hard things where they belonged, by defcrib- ing their feveral difpoiitions in choofing and refufing to take hard things. Afterwards, being in company with the friend above hinted, and he being down in his mind, and perhaps not fully knowing the caufe, alked me what I thought of the meeting, to which I was not forward to anfwer. He faid, ' Tell me what I have done this day.' Whereupon I afked him privately, and in a pleafant manner, what Gideon did to the men of Succoth j Jud. viii. 16. at which he was greatly humbled, fully understanding what I meant, and did not in the leafl refertt the hint; which I thought was truly great in him, and very becoming a minifter : for if we would inftrud: others, we mould be examplary in taking inftru&ion ourfelves when necefTary. On my way falling in company with Ro- bert Jordan, we had a freedom to propofe a meeting to the Anabaptifts at Middletown, to which they readily confented, and we had a profitable opportunity with them in their meeting-houfe, and on the fame even- ing a meeting at the houfe of Hugh Hartf- horne, 60 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS home, to which feveral Baptifts came. This was a time of favour, and I hope of fer- vice; it was concluded by Robert Jordan in folemn prayer and thankfgiving to the Lord, who is worthy for ever and ever. Jufb as the meeting broke up, I felt myfelf poor and inwardly weak, to as great a degree as ever I had done, and looking towards my laid friend, I faw he was in the fame condi- tion; for it feemed as if we had hardly ftrength to ftand : but a query of our dear Lord's came fuddenly into my mind, and miniflered relief, viz. " Who hath touched " mer" Whereupon, leaning toward my com- panion, I repeated it to him, being my be- lief that it was as much for his relief as my own. He underftood the meaning inftantly, without further explanation, and was there- by alfo relieved. Perhaps fome, who may hereafter perufe thefe lines, may think this is too bold for a mortal man to mention $ but having by a degree of experience known, that when the healing virtue of truth, from the holy Phyfician of Souls, has flowed through an humble fervant, to the relief of fome of the infirm and poor amongft the people, who have followed phyficians of no value, and fpent all their living thereby, and no cure wrought, notwithstanding virtue has gone through them, as infcruments or con- duits, they have felt inwardly weak for a time, that in humble abaftment of foul they might be taught to acknowledge, that the king- OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 61 kingdom, power, and glory, doth belong to him alone, who is God over all, bleffed for ever and ever. From thence we went to William Hartf- horne's, at Sandy-hook, and fo to the quar- terly-meeting at Shrewfbury, which was large in the feveral fittings, in which was felt the power of truth in a good degree ; but many loofe and rude people of the neighbourhood, and parts adjacent, coming together at fuch times, to drink, caroufe, and ride races, are very hurtful to each other, and difturbing to friends. Then going homeward, I had feveral meetings on the way, and enjoyed great inward peace, and could therefore rejoice, and afcribe the praife to the Lord, who had called and enabled me to perform this fervice. Having a concern on my mind to vifit the meetings of friends on the Eaftern more in Maryland, I laid it before our monthly- meeting, and obtained a certificate on the tenth month; my brother-in-law, James Brown, bearing me company ; and we were at Ccecil monthly-meeting, held at Chefter, in the eleventh month. Before meeting a friend informed me, that he thought it would be beft for me to crofs Chefter river, and go directly fouthward. I told him it might be fo, but I could fay little to it at prefent. But fome friends confulting about it, and one being there who lived near the meeting- houfe in Queen Ann's county, they thought he 62 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS he could give notice on firfl day to feveral meetings. So a friend ventured to fpeak pub- lickly thereof at the clofe of the meeting for worfhip, without letting me know what he intended to do. I had been uncommonly diftreffed as I fat in the meeting, from an apprehenfion that but few of the friends be- longing to that particular meeting were there, and when he publimed where it was propofed I mould be the enfuing week, I felt my mind opened and turned another way, and flood up and told friends, that I did believe they thought it moft for my eafe to lay out the meetings after that manner -> but if friends at that par- ticular meeting would favour me fo far as to meet there next day, I mould be glad to fit with them, provided they would pleafe to let other friends and neighbours, who were abfent, know of it : for if I had a right fenfe, there were feveral members not pre- fent, and I mould be willing to be at Cscil meeting on firft day, and SafTafrafs on fecond day, which was directly back, and therefore told them it feemed eafieft to my mind, though it would occafion more riding. This being agreed to, we had a much larger meet- ing next day; for many before were abfent, as I had thought, and I had a full opportu- nity to difcharge myfelf toward the luke- warm and indifferent, and diforderly walk- ers, and had peace. I vifited feveral families on feventh day to good fatisfaclion, and was at Caecil meeting on firfl day, and the next day OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 63 day at SaiTafrafs, and had to believe it was by the fecret direction of the good Shepherd, who never faileth his dependent children, that I was turned this way : for he was pleafed to own my fervice in thefe meetings by his prefence in a good degree, to the praife of his own name, which is worthy for ever. From thence we paffed over the head of Chefter, by the bridge, John Brown- ing, a friend from Saffafrafs, going with us as a guide, who fome time before had been convinced of the bleffed Truth by the in- ward operation of the Holy Spirit, witho'ut any instrumental means. He had been a member of the church of England, fo called, and for his fobriety was chofen a veftry- man j but after a time felt a fcruple in his mind about taking off his hat when he en- tered the church-yard, fo called, fearing it was a fuperftitious adoration of the ground, from its fuppofed holinefs ; but would take it off when he entered the worfhip houfe, and walk uncovered to his pew : but after a time he could not uncover his head, till what they call Divine Service began ; which, as he kept inwardly attentive to the fcruple in his mind, became very lifelefs to him, who was inwardly feeking for fubftance and life, and therefore withdrew therefrom, and after fome time went to one of our meetings, ra- ther out of curiolity than expecting any good, but felt himfelf owned, and had a tafte of the peace which the world cannot give, 64 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS give, and from that time became a conftant attender of our meetings. We had a meeting at Queen Ann's, a- mongft a people who, for want of keeping to the life of religion, had almoft loft the form. In converfation at a certain houfe in the evening, I afked a friend whether me was a friend's child, or one convinced of our principles. Her reply was, that when me was young fhe lived at a friend's houfe, and took a notion of going to meeting with them, which me had done ever fince. Alas ! when notion changes the will, and not that faith which works by love to the purifying of the heart, the religion is without reform- ation, empty, and dead. From thence we went to Tuckaho meeting, and the weather being very cold, and rivers frozen up, feve- ral mailers of veflels and failors came there, and divers others, people of fafhion, with gay cloathing. In the fore part of the meet- ing there was an appearance made which grieved me, for my heart yearned towards the people. The words that he began with were, " Wo, wo, to the crown of pride, " and drunkards in Ephraim/' and with very little application fat down. It appeared to me as if the appearance of gaiety had fired the creaturely zeal, which was the chief motion to this fhort fermon. This, with the cold wind blowing in at the door, much unfettled the meeting, it being at the time when that remarkable fnow fell, which laid OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 65 laid fo long in deep drifts this winter. Whereupon I defired the door might be fhut, which being done, the houfe became more comfortable, and the meeting fettled, and I ftood up with an heart filled with affection, having that paffage of fcripture before me, in which the apoflle declared the univerfality of the Love of God; " I perceive of a " truth that God is no refpecter of perfons," &c. and was much enlarged thereon, to my own admiration, and I believe fatisfaction of the people. The meeting ended fweetly with thankfgiving and prayer to the Lord, for the continuance of his mercy, who is the alone author of all good, and worthy of adoration and worfhip for ever ! After which, we attended the feveral neighbouring meet- ings, though very fevere cold weather, and the houfes being very open, and unprovided with the means of keeping them warm, of which there is too manifeft a neglect in thofe parts, they were uncomfortable and unfet- tled. In this journey my companion ap- peared in a few words in feveral families and meetings. We reached home jufl before our quarterly-meeting in the twelfth month. In this journey, travelling in Talbot county, an elderly man afked us if we faw fome pofts ftanding, pointing to them, and added, the firft meeting George Fox had on this fide of Chefepeak Bay, was held in a tobacco-houfe there, which was then new : the polls that were ftanding were made of F walnut. 66 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS walnut. At which John Browning above- mentioned rode to them, and fat on his horfe very flill . and quiet ; then returning to us again, with more fpeed than he went, I afked him what he faw among thofe old pofls \ he anfwered, ' I would not have milled of what I faw for five pounds ; for I faw the root and grounds of idolatry. Before I went, I thought perhaps I might have felt fome fecret virtue in the place where George Fox had flood and preached, whom I believe to have been a good man j but whilfl I flood there, I was fecretly in- formed, that if George was a good man he was in heaven, and not there, and vir- tue is not to be communicated by dead things, whether ports, earth, or curious pictures, but by the power of God, who is the fountain of living virtue.' A lef- fon which, if rightly learned, would wean from the worlhip of images, and adoration of reliques. I was not many miles from home this fummer, fave to attend our own quarterly and yearly-meetings ; but in the fall, having fome drawings in my mind to vifit friends in the New-fettlement in Virginia, I went with a committee of the quarterly- meeting, appointed to infpecl: whether friends at Fairfax were in number and weight fufficient to have a meet- ing fettled amongft them, to the reputation of truth 5 and we vifited all the families of friends there, and had a meeting among them OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 67 them to fatisfadtion. From thence we went to a place called Providence, or Tufkarora, from whence Mordecai Yarnal, who was one of the number, went home, having heard that his wife was dead, or likely to die. We had a meeting with the friends there, who were glad to fee us, and then went to Hope- well monthly-meeting, to fome fatisfaction. From whence I went to a few families fet- tled up Shanondoa, above the Three-topt Mountain, fo called, and had a meeting amongfi them. They were pretty much tendered, and received the vifit kindly, e- pecially fuch who did not make profeflion of the truth with us. I admired how they had notice, for many came to it, and fome ten miles or more. I believe that the de,- light in hunting, and a roving idle life, drew moft of them under our name to fettle there. So having difcharged myfelf in a plain, yet loving manner, I returned to Ro- bert M c Coy junior's, and having had feveral .other meetings thereaway, I went home with peace of mind and thankfulnefs of heart to him who alone enables his children to anfwer his requirings ; having rode in this journey above four hundred miles. This winter John Cadwalader and Zebulon Hefton, in their return from a religious vi- fit to friends in Maryland, Virginia, and Carolina, were at my houfe, and being de- firous to vifit fome meetings on the Eaflern- fliore of Maryland, I went with them to F 2 Saffa- 68 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS SafTafrafs-meeting, and called to fee the wi- dow and children of John Browning, who had been dead about a month, and fhe gave me in fubftance the following account of him, viz. ' My hufband was not long fick, but faid that he believed he mould not recover, and charged me to endeavour that his children mould be brought up in the way of Truth, which friend's profefs ; and if they incline to have trades, to put them apprentice to real friends, not barely no- minal ones, (which fhe faid fhe was wil- ling to do, though fhe had never yet joined to friends) and defired fhe would not truft her own judgment, and named fome friends with whom fhe mould advife in choofing matters. Then faid, when I am dead, bury me by my father and mother, in the grave-yard belonging to our family; and thou knowefl that I put a large grave- ftone at my father's grave, and there is one ready for my mother's grave, which I did not put there, becaufe I began to think they were more for grandeur than fervice. I fent for them from England, (not at the requeft of my father) they are mine, and now I have a full teftimony againfl fuch formal tokens of refpecl:; therefore when I am buried, before the company leaves the grave, inform them what my will is, and defire their help to take the grave-ftone from my father's grave, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 69 grave, and carry it out of the yard, that it may be brought home, and lay one in one hearth, and the other in the other hearth of this new houfe, and they will be of real fervice there*; which (he pro- mifed him to obferve, and told me me had complied therewith. He remained fenfi- ' ble to near the laft, and departed in a ' quiet refigned frame of mind/ How weak are the arguments of fuch who make profeflion with us, and plead for thofe grand marks of memorial, or other tokens of diftinftion, fet up at or on the graves of their deceaied relations -, and how foon would they fubiide, did they but live fo near the pure truth, as to feel the mind thereof; as I fully believe this our friend did, knowing that the name of the righteous will not perim, but be had in everlafting remembrance, becaufe their portion is life for evermore, having entered into that king- dom prepared for the bleffed before the foun- dation of the world. This fpring of the year, 1742, I felt ftrong drawings of mind to vifit friends in New-England, having had fome view there- of feveral years before ; and, having obtained a certificate, I fet forward in the third month, and after vifiting feveral meetings in New-Jerfey, and one in New- York, I at- * He had built a new brick houfe, and the hearth not fully laid. F 3 tended 70 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS tended the yearly-meeting on Long-Ifland, wherein the power of truth was felt, and a great opennefs to thofe of other focieties, many of whom were prefent, particularly the laft day, and two priefls, who behaved folidly. I then went with Samuel Hopwood (a miniftering friend from England, with whom I had travelled in this journey through part of New-Jerfey) to Ryewood, and had a meeting there, where were a few folid friends, but others too talkative. And be- ing at Old Sea-brook, had a meeting in an inn, on the firft day of the week. The. people being chiefly Preibyterians, few at- tended befides ourfelves, and thofe of the family, who were kind and civil to us. Then going to Conanicut, we had a meeting with friends on that ifland, and proceeded to Newport on Rhode- Ifland, and on the fifth day of the week attended the meeting at Portfmouth, where we met with Lydia Dean from Pennfylvania, who was on a re- ligious vifit to friends in New-England, and many other friends, coming to be at the yearly-meeting on this ifland. It began on the fixth day of the week, with a meeting of minifters and elders, and two meetings for publick worfhip, one in the forenoon, and the other in the afternoon, and were held in the fame order until the fecond day of the next week, when the meeting for difcipline began. This large yearly-meet- ing OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 7 i ing in the feveral fettings thereof was gene- rally folid and fatisfactory. After which, taking divers meetings in our way, namely, Portfmouth, Tiverton, Seconnet, Accoake- fet, and Aponigangfet, and attending their monthly-meeting there, all which were in a good degree fatisfactory, Samuel Hop wood and myfelf embarked for Nantucket, and through the mercy of kind Providence ar- rived fafe there, after a paflage of three days and two nights, occafioned by fcant winds, and an eafterly ftorrn, which tore our fails very much, being old and rotten - y fo that if fome watchful friends on the ifland had not feen us in diftrefs, and come with three whale boats, and took all the palTengers, being twenty-four of us, from the vefTel, we mould have been in great danger. For being near a fand-bar, the veflel /truck ground foon after we left her, and by the violence of the wind was driven on more. We looked on this deliverance as a mercy from God, to whom feveral of us were bowed in humble thankfulnefs for this par- ticular favour. On the twenty-fecond day of the fourth month the yearly-meeting be- gan, which though fmall on this day, by reafon of the ftorm, was comfortable. The other fittings were moftly large, and in a good degree owned by the power and virtue of Truth. My friend Samuel Hopwood, apprehend- ing himfelf clear, inclined to return to the F 4 Main- 72 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS Main-land, but no pafTage offered j and not- withftanding the meetings had been gene- rally attended by moft of the inhabitants of the iiland, and large, yet I was not eafy without endeavouring to have fome oppor- tunities with friends by themfelves, as much as could be, which I obtained, befides at- tending their ufual week day meetings ; and in thefe fittings it pleafed the Lord to open my way to deliver feveral things which had lain heavy on my mind. For although fome folid tender-fpirited friends lived on this ifland, yet I faw there was a libertine fpirit fecretly at work amongft fome others, to draw away from the pure inward life of re- ligion, and the fimplicity of truth, into eafe and liberty. After which I had great peace, and my mind was made thankful to the Lord, who had owned my labour by a good degree of his prefence and power. Being now fully clear, and a parTage of- fering, on the fecond of the fifth month we took leave of our friends, and landed the fame day in the evening at Seconnet, and on feventh day Samuel Hopwood and I went to the quarterly-meeting at Sandwich, and were at their firft day meeting alfo : after which I went back to Seconnet, and had a meeting at Benjamin Boreman's, then re- turned to Sandwich, where I again met Sa- muel Hopwood, and on third day we had a meeting at Yarmouth ; and returning to Humphry Wady's, we from thence went to- wards OF JOHN CHURCHMAN, 73 wards Bofton, taking a meeting with friends at Pembrook; reached that town on iixth day, and attended their morning and after- noon meetings on firft day, alfo one at a friend's houfe in the evening. J have here little to remark, fave that religion feems to be at a low ebb. From Bofton I went to Lynn, but Samuel Hopwood returned to- wards Rhode-Ifland. I had a meeting at Lynn, alfo at Salem, Newberry, and Dover, being the monthly-meeting. The next day at Cachecy, and in the afternoon again at Dover, at the burial of Mary Whitehoufe, who was ninety-five years of age; and on fecond day morning I was fecretly drawn to have a meeting over the river on the Kettery more, among friends, which was fatisfactory to myfelf and them, there being a tender people there. On third day morning, as I lay in bed, I felt my mind drawn towards the north-weft, which was an exercife to me ; for I had before thought myfelf at li- berty to return towards Bofton. I arofe about fun-rife, and afked the friend where I lodged, whether any friends lived at a dif- tance on that quarter ; for that I had a draft that way ? He anfwered no ; and afked how far I thought to go. I told him it did nof feem to me to be more than ten miles. He faid there was a people about eight miles diftant, which he fuppofed was the place to which I felt the draft. I defired hinv to fend a lad with a few lines to fome perfon that 74 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS that he knew, to inform them that a ftranger would be glad to have a meeting among them at the eleventh hour of that day, if they were free to grant it; which he did, and with his wife went with me : fo that we got to the place near the time propofed, and found a considerable gathering of peo- ple, that I wondered how it could be in fo {hort a time, not more than three hour's warning. They were preparing feats, by laying boards on blocks in a pretty large new houfe, and foon fat down in an orderly man- ner. I went in great fear and inward weak- nefs ; and at the light of fuch a gathering of people, and none of our profeffion among them, except the friend and his wife who accompanied me, and two others who joined us in the way, my fpirit was greatly bow- ed, and my heart filled with fecret cries to the Lord, that he would be pleafed to mag- nify his own power : and, blefled for ever be his holy name! he heard my cry, and fur- nifhed with wifdom and ftrength to declare his word to the people, among whom there were fome very tender feekers after the true know- ledge of God ; and the doctrine of Truth flowed freely towards them, the univerfality of the love of God being fet forth, in op- pofition to the common Predeftinarian notion of election and reprobation. When the meeting was over I felt an uncommon free- dom to leave them, for they began to mew their fatisfaction with the opportunity in many OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 75 many words. So fpeaking to the friend that went with me, we withdrew, and went to our horfes; and I immediately mounting, beheld the man of the houfe where the meet- ing w?.s held running to me, who, taking hold of the bridle, told me I muft not go away without dining with them. I looked ftedfaftly on him, and told him, that I did believe this was a vifitation for their good, but I was fearful that they, by talking too freely and too much, would be in danger of loiing the benefit thereof, and mifs of the good that the Lord intended for them ; and my going away was in order to example them to go home to their own houfes, and turn inward, and retire to that of God in their own hearts, which was the only way to grow in religion. So I left him, and returned with my friend Jofeph Eaftees and his wife. Next day I was again at Cachecy meeting, where Lydia Dean, and her com-, panion Eliphal Harper, met me; it was a good meeting. From thence we went to Dover, and had a meeting, and another the fame evening at the houfe of John Kenny; and being clear in my mind of thofe parts, I returned, having meetings at Hampton, Salif- bury, Aimfbury, and Haverhill, at which laft place feveral perfons were aflembled with us, who had never heard the preaching of any friend before. There was great opennefs among them, and we had a good meeting together, for which I was thankful to the holy 76 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS holy author of all good. Next day I again met with Lydia Dean and Eliphal Harper, at Stephen Sawyer's, near Newberry, where we had a meeting -, at which I was concerned to fpeak in a brief manner of the beginning of the reformation from the errors of the church of Rome, and the fufferings of the Proteftants, particularly in England, fome of whofe fucceflbrs turned perfecutors, and were very cruel to thofe whom they called Sectarians ; amongft whom the Prefbyterians having fufFered perfecution, in order to be eafed therefrom, came into America, and fettled in New-England, expecting there to enjoy that reafonable right, the liberty of their confcience ; and in this their eafe, for- getting the golden rule of doing to others as they would be done unto, became, to their lafting ignominy, perfecutors of Quakers, fo called, even to the death of feveral of them. And I had to fpeak of the nature and ground of perfecution, and the great inconfiftency thereof with Chrihuanity. Se- veral of the Prefbyterians were prefent; and an ancient man from Newberry, one of their leaders, and an elder among them, when the meeting was over, defired he might fpeak with me. I being withdrawn into a little parlour, friend Sawyer came and in- formed me, that the old man wanted to be admitted to me, to which I felt no objec- tion, being quiet and eafy in my mind, though I expected he would be for difput- ing. OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 77 ing. When he came in, he let me know that he had fome obfervations to make to me : viz. ' he fuppofed I was a man that ( had read much, or I could not be fo fully ' acquainted with the reformation, and that * he alfo fuppofed I had a college education/ As to the laft, I told him that I had never been at a fchool, but about three months, and the man I went to being a weaver, fat in his loom, and heard his fcholars read. That I was fo far from having a popular educa- tion, that I was born in a wildernefs place, where a few families had fettled many miles remote from other inhabitants. At which, lifting up his hands, he bleffed himfelf, and added, ' Heaven has then anointed you to ' preach the gofpel, and you have this day * preached the truth -, but I can affure you, * though I have been a parifh officer, I ne- ' ver did take any thing from your friends * the Quakers, for I am againft perfecution ; ' fo God blefs you with a good journey/ The next day I had a meeting at Ipfwich, in the houfe of Benjamin Hoeg, none pro- feffing with us living in that town, but him- felf and family; though there was a friendly man, who, as I came late to the town the even- ing before, invited me to lodge at his houfe, of which I accepted, and being weary, ilept well. In the morning I heard a noife of high words in the ftreet, and getting up, I opened the door of the parlour where I lodged, and through a pafTage into the kitchen, 78 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS kitchen, faw a woman, whom I took to be the miftrefs of the houfe, and went toward her, but, with a look of exceeding difplea- fure, {he immediately {hut the door; fo I turned into my room again. After a while the landlord came to me, and told me that he had been with the burgefs, who had given leave that a meeting might be held in the town-hall ; but the prieft and his two fons had fmce been with the burgefs, and forbad him, and that, rather than difpleafe them, he had withrawn the leave. The prieft af- ferted that the Quakers were hereticks, and had gone about the town to forewarn his hearers againft going to the meeting, which was the meaning of the noife I heard in the ftreet. I felt very eafy, and den red that he would not trouble himfelf any further than to inform them, that the meeting would be held at the houfe of Benjamin Hoeg ; for I did believe that the railing of the prieft would raife the curiofity of the people the more to come, and fo it proved. I afked him to mew me the way to the houfe, that I might be amftant in making provinon for feats, if occauon required. He faid I muft take breakfaft with him, which was foon brought in by the woman, who had {hut the door, as before mentioned. I afked him if me was his wife; he told me {he was ; on which I arofe from my feat, and offered her my hand, afldng her how me did; but fhe in. difpleafure re- fufed, and, faying not a word, dire&ly left the room. OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 79 room. After breakfafl we went to the houfe where the meeting was to be held, and there foon came a great number of people, and the priefl alfo very near the door, where he flood, cautioning his hearers ; but feveral came by an alley to the back door, and others feemed little to regard him ; fo that after a time he went away; and through the goodnefs of the Lord we had a folid profitable meeting: for I believe many were there, whofe hearts were reached and tendered by the love and power of the gofpel of Chrifl, and among them I faw my fcornful landlady. It feems a woman whom me va- lued had perfuaded her to come with her. Before the meeting ended, I perceived her countenance was changed, and her flout heart tendered ; and after it me came to me with her hufband, and kindly invited me to dine with them ; I owned their love, and defired them to mind the truth by which they had been reached. So in humble thank- fulnefs of heart to the great Author of all living mercies, I left them, and went that night to Salem ; and tarrying one meeting, the next day pafled on to Marblehead, and had a meeting in the town-hall, the magif- trates readily granting it, which was large. I had to fpeak on morality, the nature and neceffity thereof, mewing that a man could not be a true Chriflian without being a good moralifl. I thought they had need of a reformation in their morals, though they profefled 80 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS profeiTed Chriflianity in a high manner, One thing is worthy of remarking, the fe~ lecl: men and officers were very careful to keep the rude boys and people that came to the door from making difturbance : fe- veral of them walked to the door, and fpoke to them, and rapped fome on their heads with their canes, to make them ftill. The meeting ended to fatisfaction, without the leafr oppofition. From thence, taking a meeting at Lynn by the way, I went to Bofton, and was at their meetings on firft day in the forenoon and afternoon, at both which feveral came that were not in profef- fion with us, and truth opened the doctrine thereof to the people pretty freely. But I was not eafy to leave this town without having an opportunity with friends by thern- felves, for which purpofe it v/as held at Benjamin Bagnall's, and therein I was deeply bowed under a fenfe of the ilate of eafe, in which fome were delighting themfelves in their imaginary attainments, whilft the pure feed lay under fuffering ; but hie/Ted be the Lord ! who was gracioufly pleafed to endue with a fpirit of love and tender compafTion, and thereby enabled me to difcharge myfelf fully, and I was releafed from what had lain very heavy upon me for feveral days. The next day I had an opportunity with feveral friends at Samuel Pope's, and then left Bof- ton pretty eafy in my mind, and went to Samuel Thayre's at Mendham, who accom- panied OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 81 panied me the next day to Uxbridge, where we had a meeting with a few raw, talka- tive people, which, through the goodnefs of God, was neverthelefs to foine degree of fatisfa&ion. I returned with Samuel Thayre to his houfe, where I met with Hannah Jenkinfon from Pennfylvania, and we were at Mendam meeting together. She then went towards Bofton, and I to Wainfokett, and Providence-Town, and had a meeting at each place ; the latter of which was a poor meeting, the people looking for words, and not waiting for the word of life in their own hearts. From thence I went to and had a large and good meeting at Nefhanticut, the Lord's prefence being felt to his own praife, and another at Greenwich. Then proceeded to Smithfield and Taunton, tak- ing a meeting at each to fome good degree of fatisfa&ion. From thence to Swanfey, Free-Town, Rochefter, and Cufhnet, having a meeting at each ; at one of which, after I flood up to fpeak a few words in great fear, life being low, and, as I apprehended, the feed under fuffering, I heard a kind of figh- ing by one in the gallery, which feemed to bring death rather than to raife life; and after I had fpoken a fentence or two it be- came exceedingly burdenfome, whereupon it came frefh in my mind to fay, ' Can an ' Ifraelite fing a true Hebrew fong whilfl ' the feed is in captivity, and under fuffer- * ing? an attempt of the kind mews igno- 82 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS ' ranee/ at which there was a great filence, and the lighing ended, and I received ftrength to deliver what was on my mind, and truth Was felt in a good degree to arife. The meeting ended well, and feveral friends ex- preffed their fatisfaction with the iervice on that day. Being clear of thofe parts, I went to Rhode-Ifland, and, in a fenfe of the goodnefs and mercy of the Lord, who had helped me in my travels in his work, my foul worfhipped before him. On the twenty-fecond of the fixth month I fat with friends at Newport in their fore and afternoon meetings, and next morning left Rhode-Iiland with a heavy heart, and had a meeting at South Kingfton, where I met with Sufannah Morris, and her fitter Hannah Hurford, and the fame day had a meeting at James Parry's ; and the day fol- lowing we had one at Thomas Stanton's, in Weflerly, among a mixed people of feveral focieties, to whom I felt a flream of gofpel love ; but the meeting was hurt by feveral appearances of one prefent, who lived at no great diftance. Our manner of fitting in lilence is fo very different from the common practice of moil other religious focieties, that it is no marvel if it mould be as time mifpent to fome, and fill others with won- der, which was the cafe this day: and for want of a deep inward attention to the liv- ing word of truth, inftead of inftructing the people in the true way of worihip, in the love, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 83 love of the gofpel, there may be a warm cenfuring of them for what they underftand not, and thereby raife a diflike in them, to the foreclofing of other fervice : and I have ibmetimes obferved hurt done by this means, by fome who appeared in the impatience, not having the weight of the work upon them. Cuftom had taught the people to look for words, and they were offended by words fpoken not in feafon, and therefore not fitly fpoken. I left this meeting with forrow j and after I mounted my horfe, the perfon who had appeared there three times came to me, and faid, ' he hoped he had not * hindered my fervice in it.' I reminded him that he had informed the people in that meeting, their looking for words had been one reafon why the Lord had fhut up the teflimony of truth in the hearts of his fer- vants, which I told him I did believe was not then the cafe ; but that his forward ap- pearances had mudded the waters, unfettled the people, and marred the fervice ; fo we parted. And feeling my mind drawn back towards Newport, I went that evening to James Congdon's, and the next day to New- port, calling in my way at James Parry's, where I found Lydia Dean, very lick, me being fo far on her journey towards home ; and on the fifth day of the week I was at two fatisfa&ory meetings there ; and on fe- venth day had a fmall meeting at Nicholas Eafton's, and on firft day two large good G 2 meet- 84 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS meetings at Newport; and next day hearing that Lydia Dean was come to Samuel Clark's, on Conanicut-Ifland, I went with feveral others to fee her, and me returned with us to Newport; where, after a very fhort no- tice, we had a large evening meeting, where- in the Lord was pleafed mercifully to favour us with his immediate prefence, to the glory and praife of his own eternal name, which is worthy for ever ! After attending their monthly-meeting at Portfmouth, finding my mind clear and eafy to proceed homeward, Lydia Dean, Patience Barker, John Eafton, and rnyfelf, fet out from Newport, taking leave of friends in a tender manner on both fides, and were the firft day following at a meeting in Wefterly, which was in a good degree fatisfactory ; and paffing through Connecticut to New - Milford, Oblong, and Ninepartners, had meetings in each place. And having a great defire to be at our yearly-meeting for Pennfylvania and New-Jerfey, to be held at Burlington, which was near approaching, we pafTed on, and took a meeting .at Samuel Field's, to which feveral not of our fociety came, and the opportunity was, through the goodnefs of the Lord, profitable. We then proceeded as faft as convenient, and reached Burlington on firft day, in the time of the yearly- meeting, where many friends were gathered, and Michael Lightfoot, in his return from Great Britain, with whom came John Haf- lam OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 85 lam and Edmund Peckover, on a vifit to friends in America. This meeting was large and folid; at which I alfo met my dear wife, to our mutual thankful rejoic- ing. After the meetmg I went home, where I found things as to the outward in good order; for which I was humbly thankful to the Lord, who had not only been with me by his heavenly prefence in this jour- ney, and brought me fafe home to my family, but had fupported them in my abfence; bleffed be his holy name for ever ! CHAP. 86 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS CHAP. III. His viftt to Long- I/land Vifit with others to the families of friends in Nottingham and to fame families in Philadelphia, and to the mayor of that city alfo to the a/embly of Pennfyhania in the year 1748. His jour- ney \vith Michael Lightfoot to the yearly- meeting at Weji River in Maryland and accompanied by Jofoua Brown to divers Meetings in Pennfyhania and New-Jerfey. His confederations on apprehending it his duty to 'vijit friends in Europe, and pro- ceedings in preparing to enter upon that weighty fervf'ce, to the time of his leav- ing home, in order to take Jhipping for London. IN the fpring of the year 1743, having drawings in my mind to make a general vifit to friends on Long-Iiland, I fat out in the third month, in order to be at the year- ly-meeting at Pluming, which began on the iixth day of the week, and continued until the fecond of the week following : it was large, and fignally owned by the power of truth in each fitting. The publick fervice in the miniftry lay moftly on Edmund Peck- over, who was there in his way to New- England. On firft day I thought I had an engagement to ftand up, and confiderable matter before me, and after fpeaking three or OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 87 or four fentences, which came with weight, all clofed up, and I flood ftill and filent for feveral minutes, and faw nothing more, not one word to fpeak : I perceived the eyes of mofl of the people were upon me, they as well as myfelf expedting more ; but nothing fur- ther appearing, 1 fat down, I think I may fay, in reverent fear and humble refignation ; when that remarkable fentence of Job, chap. i. 21. was prefented to my mind: " Naked " came I out of my mother's womb, and " naked mall I return : the Lord gave, and " the Lord hath taken away; bleffed be the " name of the Lord :" and for, I fuppofe, near a quarter of an hour I remained in a filent quiet; but afterwards let in great rea- fonings and fear, left I had not waited the right time to Hand up, and fo was fuffered ta fall into reproach. For the adverfary, who is ever bufy, and unwearied in his at- tempts to devour, perfuaded me to believe that the people would laugh me to fcorn, and I might as well return home imme- diately and privately, as attempt any further viiit on the ifland. After meeting I hid my inward exercife and diflrefs as much as I could. When night came I lodged with a fympathizing friend and experienced elder, who began to fpeak encouragingly to me; but I faid to him, that I hoped he would not take it amifs if I defired him to forbear fay- ing any thing: for if he mould fay good things, I had no capacity to believe, and if G 4 other- 88 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS otherwife, I could not then understand fo as to be profitably corrected or inftrudled, and after fome time fell afleep. When I awoke, I remembered that the fentences I had delivered in the meeting were felf-evi- dent truths, which could not be wrefted to the difadvantage of friends, or difhonour of the caufe of truth, though they might look like roots, or fomething to paraphrafe upon ; and although my ftanding fome time filent before I fat down might occafion the peo- ple to think me a filly fellow, yet they had not caufe to blame me for delivering words without fenfe or life. Thus I became very quiet, and not much depreffed, and was fa- voured with an humble refignation of mind, and a defire that the Lord would be pleafed to magnify his own name and truth, and preferve me from bringing any reproach thereon. So I ventured to have meetings appointed, and my particular friend and in- timate acquaintance Caleb Raper, of Bur- lington, being at that meeting, went as companion with me, of whofe company' I was glad, he being a valuable elder. We went firft to Rockaway, then to Jamaica, Sequetague, Setakit, Matinicock, Cowneck, and Weilbury meetings, and at moil of them I had good fatisfadtion -, the good prefence of the Lord, in whom I delighted above all things, being witneffed to my comfort, and I believe to the edification and comfort of the fincere in heart : but the teflimony of OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 89 of truth went particularly {harp to the luke- warm profeflbrs and libertines in our foci- cty. That humbling time I had at Flufhing was of fingular fervice to me; being thereby made willingly fubjecl: to the Divine open- ings of truth, and motion of the eternal fpirit and pure word of life, in fpeaking to the feveral ftates of thofe who were prefent in the meetings ; and life came into do- minion, and the power thereof overfhadowed at times, to my humble admiration : blefTed be the name of the Lord, who is worthy, for ever and ever ! Then croffing Whiteftone-Ferry, we had meetings at Weft-Chefter, Memarineck, Rywoods, and Long-Reach, which were moftly to good fatisfaction. We then went to New- York, and were at their meeting, and in the evening had a felect one with friends, which gave me confiderable relief, and I believe fatisfadtion to them; and we were made thankful together in the renew- ings of the covenant of life. From thence we went to a meeting at Newtown on Long- Ifland, and to the monthly-meeting at Flufh- ing ; where friends gave me a certificate in return to that I brought from home, in which they fignified their unity with my fervice on the illand. Then taking leave of friends in fweetnefs of mind and inward peace, being clear of thofe parts, I returned homewards, and went to the Narrows that night, but could not get over : next morn- ing 90 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS ing early crofTed the ferry, when there was a great fwell, occafioned by the ilormy wea- ther in the evening and night before, and having now no wind, were obliged to row the boat over. In the pafTage I remembered, that in croffing this ferry when coming on this vilit, I thought myfelf never much poorer, having only a fecret hope and truft in the holy arm of power: and being now inwardly fenfible of my own weaknefs, I had to acknowledge that I went not forth on this embafly in my own will and ftrength ; and therefore craved only that my bleffed Lord and Matter would blot out mine of- fences, and yet enable me fo to walk in humble obedience the refidue of my time, as to be favoured with the anfwer of " well " done" at the conclufion: and knowing the nature and treachery of felf, did not want to be intrufted with much reward at prefent, chooling rather that the Lord, in his infi- nite wifdom and mercy, mould deal out to me my daily bread according to his own pleafure. " I palled over this Jordan with " my ftaff, and now I am become two " bands," was the faying of Jacob, Gen. xxxii. 10. As this faying of the good pa- triarch came frefh in my mind, I thought, that although I could not fee myfelf much increafed in heavenly treafure, I came poor, and had only the ilarF of faith to lean upon, yet I had to blefs the Lord that he was now pleafed to favour me with the fame flarF in my OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 91 my return, on the never failing ftrength whereof I might with fafety evermore rely ; and in holy refignation I had to praife his worthy name. I proceeded with my friend Caleb Raper to Burlington, where we parted in much love and nearnefs, in which we had travelled together. I reached home about wheat harveft, and found my dear wife and family well. I went not much abroad the refidue of this fummer, and the year following, but was careful to attend our own and many neighbouring meetings; alfo monthly, quar- terly, and yearly-meetings, in this and the adjacent province. Some bufinefs of a pub- lick nature, together with my own circum- ftances, necerlarily engaged me for feveral years 3 in which time, viz. in the fpring of the year 1745, my dear wife having draw- ings in her mind to vifit the meetings of friends in Virginia, Maryland, and North Carolina, obtained a certificate of the unity of friends with her, to travel in that fervice with Jane Hofkins, of Chefter. And in the fame year I was nominated,, with feveral other friends, to viiit the families belonging to our monthly-meeting, which being large, and many friends living at a diftance, it was a laborious work, and not fully performed until the fall of the year 1747, when ac- count was given that the fervice was per- fected to a good degree of fatisfa&ion. In the winter following I had it on my mind to vifit all the families of the particular meet- 92 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS meeting of Newark near Brandy wine, who feemed to be in a declining ffate as to reli- gion, having dropped their week-day meet- ing, and often much negleded to attend their firfUday meeting, many of the elderly friends being deceafed, and their children almoft turned to the world, and united to the fpirit, pleafures, and paftimes thereof. My brother William Brown, and his wife, and mine, were with me on this fervice, and great plainnefs was ufed in opening to many particulars the caufe of their decleniion; and as the love of truth engaged me in the fer- vice, I had peace and fatisfaclion, and thofe vifited feemed to receive the vifit kindly. In the fpring of the year 1748, I felt drawings in my mind to vilit fome families of friends in Philadelphia, of which I ac- quainted my brethren at home -, and having their concurrence, in the fourth month I joined with fome friends in the city, who were fome time before appointed to the fervice, and we went in much love from houfe to houfe, the Lord, by his good pre- fence, being with us, to our mutual com- fort. And as I attended to the drawings of truth, I found a concern to go to the mayor of the city (accompanied by my good friend Ifrael Pemberton the elder,) and was en- gaged to lay before him the nature of his office as a magiftrate, and exhorted him to take care that he bore not the fword in vain, but to put the laws in execution againft evil doers, fuch as drunkards, profane fwear- ers, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 93 ers, &c. and to be, in his authority, a ter- ror to the wicked, and an encourager of them that do well. He was loving and ten- der, and exprefied his fatisfadHon with the viiit. While I was in the city, the governor called or fummoned the members of afTem- bly together, and in preffing terms laid be- fore them the defencelefs ftate of Pennfyl- vania, in order to prevail with the houfe to grant a fum of money, to ftation a fhip of force at Delaware capes, alfo to encou- rage the building a battery below the city, which was begun fome time before by fub- fcription, but likely to be too heavy for the undertakers. One night, as I lay in my bed, it came very weightily upon me to go to the houfe of aflembly, and lay before the members thereof the danger of departing from trufting in that divine arm of power which had hitherto protected the inhabitants of our land in peace and fafety : the concern refted on me feveral days, which occalioned me with earneft breathings to feek the Lord, that if this was a motion from him, he would be pleafed to direct my fteps therein, fo that I might be preferved from giving juft caufe of offence to any : for it feemed to be a very difficult time; many, even of our fociety, declaring their willingnefs that a fum of money mould be given to the king, to {hew our loyalty to him, and that they were willing to part with their fub- ftance for his ufe, though, as a people, we had 94 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS had a teftimony to bear againft all outward wars and fightings. I made no man privy to my concern until a week had near palled, when one morning it became fo heavy upon me, that I went to the houfe of an intimate friend, who, being juft up, invited me to come in, and as we fat together, he had a ienfe that fomething of weight was upon me, and afked if I was concerned about the aflembly. Whereupon I afked him, if he ever knew of any friends going to the af- fembly with a concern to fpeak to them ? he anfwered, nay; adding, * but I have of- * ten wondered that they have not ; for I ' have underftood that it was formerly a ' common practice for them to (it in filence * a while, like folemn worfhip, before they ' proceeded to do bufinefs." I told him, that I had it on my mind to go to the houfe that morning, and mould be glad of fuit- able company. He directed me to one whom he thought fuch, and I immediately went to him, and acquainted him with my con- cern; but as I fpake, I felt that I had better go alone, and therefore told him, that if he did not feel clear and eafy to go with me, I advifed him to flay. He replied, ' Thy ' way is before thee, but I believe I mufl ' not go.' I therefore returned to my friend, who did not difcourage me, though I had no company. Being preffed in mind, I went di redly to the ftate-houfe, before I took breakfaft, and got there juft as the fpeaker, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 95 jfpeaker, J. K, was going in. I beckoned to him, and he came to me. I told him I wanted to be admitted into the houfe, for I thought. I had fomething to fay to them, which feemed to me of importance. He faid it was a critical time, and they had a difficult affair before them, and queried whe- ther I had not better wait until the houfe parted j and another member being near, faid he thought it would be beft, and lefs liable to give offence, for there were divers mem- bers not of our fociety > and if I would wait until the houfe broke up, they would inform all the members that were friends, and did not doubt they would be willing to give me an opportunity to inform them, what was on my mind. I told them that would give me no relief, for I had a parti- cular defire that thofe members who were not of our fociety mould be prefent; believ- ing that it would be better for them to hear and judge for themfelves than to have it at fecond hand, as it might be differently reprefented ; at which they were a little filent. Then I requefted the fpeaker that he would go in and inform the members, that a countryman was in waiting, who had a defire to be admitted, having fomething to communicate to them, and if they refufed, he would be clear. He readily and affec- tionately anfwered he would, and foon brought me word that they were willing, ^yhere was a great awe over my mind when I went 96 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS I went in, which I thought in fome mea- fure fpread, and prevailed over the members, beyond my expectation. After a filence of perhaps ten or twelve minutes, I felt as though all fear of man was taken away, and my mind influenced to addrefs them in fub- ilance after the following manner : * My Countrymen, and Fellow- Subjects, ' Reprefentatives of the Inhabitants of ' this Province. ' T T N D E R an apprehenfion of the dif- {_J ' ficulties before you, I feel a ftrong ' fympathy with you, and have to remind you of a jufl and true faying of a great minifter of Jefus Chrift in his day, " The powers that be are ordained of God." Now if men in power and authority, in whatfoever ftation, would feek unto God (who will be a fpirit of judgment to them that lit in judgment) for wifdom and counfel to act fingly for him that ordained the power, and permitted them to be fta- tioned therein, that they mould be his minifters, fuch will be a bleffing, under God, to themfelves and their country : but if thofe in authority do fuffer their own fears, and the perfuafions of others, to prevail with them to neglect fuch atten- tion, and fo make or enact laws, in order to their own protection and defence by carnal weapons and fortifications, fliled ' human OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 97 human prudence, he who is fuperintend- ant, by withdrawing the arm of his pow- er, may permit thofe evils they feared to come fuddenly upon them, and that in his heavy difpleafure. May it with grati- tude be ever remembered how remarkably we have been preferved in peace and tran- quility for" more than fifty years ! no inva- lion by foreign enemies ; and the treaties of peace with the natives, wifely began by our worthy proprietor William Penn, preferved inviolate to this day. ' Though you now reprefent, and ad: for, a mixed people of various denominations, as to religion, yet remember the charter is the fame as at firft : beware therefore of acting to opprefs tender confciences, for there are many of the inhabitants whom you now reprefent, that ftill hold forth the fame religious principles with their predecefTors, who were fome of the firft adventurers into this, at that time wilder- nefs, land, who would be greatly grieved to fee warlike preparations carried on, and encouraged by a law con fen ted to by their brethren in profeffion, or others, contrary to the charter; ftill confcientioufly con- cluding, that the reverent and true fear of God, with an humble truft in his an- cient arm of Power, would be our great- eft defence and fafety. And they who hold different principles, and are fettled in this government, can have no juft caufe of H reflec- 9.8 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS reflection if warlike meafures are forborn, becaufe they knew the charter framed, and the peaceable conftitution, and have ventured themfelves therein. ' We may obferve by fundry laws enacted in parliament, when the Reformation was but newly begun in England, our mother country, there feemed to be wifdom from above to influence their minds. May you be rightly directed at this time, many of whom do fully believe in the immediate influence of Chrift, the wifdom of God, which is truly profitable to diredl ! It is not from difrefpedt to the king or government that I fpeak after this manner, for I am thankful in heart that the Lord in mercy hath vouchfafed, that the throne of Great Britain mould be filled with our prefent benevolent prince, King George the Se- cond; may his reign be long and happy!' I acknowledged their kindnefs in hearing me with fo much patience, and, taking leave, withdrew. Several members followed me out, and exprefTed their fatisfadion in an affectionate manner with my vifit; and, embracing each other, we parted, in a fenfe of the love and power of Chrift Jefus our Lord, who, with the Father, is worthy of all thankfgiving and praife for ever and ever. After my fervice in Philadelphia was over, I returned home with peace and fatisfadlion, and OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 99 and went not much abroad, fave to our quarterly and yearly-meetings, until the fpring following, in the year 1749, when I went with Michael Lightfoot to the yearly- meeting at Wefl-river in Maryland; in which journey, the weather being hot, and fome weaknefs of body attending, it threw me into a ftrong fever, and a lloppage in my breaft, that it was with fome difficulty I got home, and continued without any amend- ment a conliderable time : and one evening, as I was preparing for bed, an impoflhume broke, which I fuppofe was on my lights, becaufe it came up my windpipe, almoft flrangling me for a confiderable time, that I expected I was near expiring ; but felt a re- fignation in this trying time beyond my ex- pectation, which 1 took to be a great favour from the Lord : there is no fupport like the light of his countenance. I continued bleed-^ ing more or lefs many days, but gradually mended. In the eighth month, being pretty well recovered, in much love I felt draw- ings in my mind to vifit fome meetings in the back parts of Chefter, Philadelphia, and Bucks counties, and part of New-Jerfey, and laying my concern before my friends, had their concurrence, and was accompanied by my kinfman Jofhua Brown through mofl of the journey. Our firil appointed meeting was at Radnor, in which truth owned our fer- vicein a good degree, and paffing over Schuyl- kill, we went to Plymouth, North Wales, H z Skippack, ioo THE LIFE AND TRAVELS Skippack, and New Providence, which lafl meeting, for want of more careful notice, was very fmall j and not being eafy in my mind, I had a fingular freedom to let them know that I would endeavour to be at that place on the fecond day following, and mould be glad they would pleafe to give full notice thereof; and having a ftrong draught in my mind to turn back to North Wales, I went the fame evening to Robert Jones's at Skippack, and next day to fee a friend who had been a long time indifpofed, with whom we had a good opportunity, which I believe was of advantage to the friend, through the goodnefs and mercy of the bleffed Shepherd of Ifrael. I alfo vifited two other friends> and we were comforted together in the renewing of heavenly good- nefs : and on firft day was at North Wales meeting, which was large and fatisfactory, and at Providence again on fecond day, where friends generally met, and I had an opportunity to clear myfelf in a particular manner. Then went to Evans's meeting, by the lide of Schuylkill, and had a meeting the fame evening at the houfe of Thomas May, both which were to fome fatisfaction. Afterwards went to Maiden-creek, Exeter, and Richmond, and from thence over Dela- ware to Kingwood, and vifited the meetings in Burlington, Gloucefter, and Salem coun- ties, as far down as Greenwich, and returned homewards by Haddonfield, from whence, in OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 101 in my going down, my kinfman Jofhua Brown left me, and went home. I called to vifit Hannah Cooper, whofe hufband had not long been dead : me feemed under afflic- tion of body and mind. I felt a near fym- pathy with her, and, though we did not converfe much together, yet in the owning love of him who is a friend to the afflicted, we were mutually comforted. She exprefled her fatisfaction in a tender manner, faying, that foon after I came her exercife was light- ened, and me was refrefhed, in a fenfe of the kindnefs of the Lord, in affording a fympathy and inward feeling to the children of his family. My foul was humbled in reverent thankfulnefs to him, the Author of all good, who is praife worthy for ever. In the morning I had a paflage over Dela- ware, about the tenth hour, which, by rea- fon of ice, had not been paffable for feveral days before. Tarrying in Philadelphia that night, I went next day to Derby meeting, and the day following got well home, and found my dear wife and family well. On my leaving home to perform this vi- fit, I felt great inward weaknefs, and in going from meeting to meeting, frequent humbling baptifms attended, in which the prefent ftate of the church was feen, and the conditions of many fpoken to in the love of truth ; which made me often think that it feemed like a farewell vifit, at leaft for a Jong time. H 3 I may 102 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS I may now make a remark, which I hope will not be improper or unprofitable. As I pa{Ted along in this viiit, I obferved fome people would earneftly prefs me to go home with them, and would fay they would not take it kind if I did not ; and friends did not ufe to ferve them fo, that is, pafs by them j yet I thought there was not much of the innocent fweetnefs of truth to be felt at their houfes, or even about them. Though they would fay, ' Why, thou haft hit the * nail on the head ! there is juft fuch people * among us as thou haft fpoken of/ and feemed to themfelves fafe and eafy, when perhaps their religion lay much in thinking that good friends were familiar with them, and thought well of them. I alfo took no- tice of another fort, who, though they were not fond of having friends to go with them, would fpeak well of their fervice, and deal it out liberally to others in a cenforious manner, and not look on themfelves with a true profpect, which would have led them to fmite on their own breafts, with a feel- Ing, fhort prayer, rather than apprehend themfelves better than others, when per- haps covetoufnefs and a worldly fpirit had almoft deftroyed charity, which is the fure product of true religion. A third fort I be- held humbled and bowed, whofe words were few, and who would frequently, if they faid any thing, lament the ftate of the fociety, and fpeak of their own w r eaknefs, and fear left they OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 103 they mould not walk in the uprightnefs of truth before their own families and the church : the dew retted on them in their humble fituation. I was thankful in the fenfe I had that there were fome few of thefe in almoft every meeting - y and I had a firm belief, that fome among the youth were under the hand of the Great Preparer of men for his own work. Thefe children are moftly modeft, and diffident of them- felves, fincerely affectionate, not over for- ward or fondling, but lovers of truth in heart, to whom I felt great nearnefs of fpi- rit, believing they would grow in the root of life. 1 beheld fome others among the youth, whom I feared had too great a de- light to live on the labours of others, who neverthelefs had been favoured with the reaches of Divine Love, but for want of dwelling deep and humble with the pure witnefs in themfelves, ran out in the affec- tionate part, and were greatly delighted to hear truth's teftimony, and valued inflru- ments according to their own liking. Thefe, though they appear as goodly flowers, for want of an humble abode in the vine, do fometimes wither away as grafs on the houfe- top. " If you love me, keep my com- " mandments," was a precept of our holy Lord and Mailer. To keep his command- ments, we muft inwardly dwell with his grace in our hearts, by which the law of the fpirit of life is known and underftood, H 4 by 104 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS by the enlightening and everlafting fure word of prophecy, which will privately in- terpret, and fecretly mew to every man his duty, and the calling of God, and abilitate to abide therein : and his " law is light," and his commandment as a lamp to the feet of his people for ever. As I fat in a week day meeting in the winter (1748) which was held in a private houfe, (our meeting-houfe being burnt fome time before) I felt great weaknefs and poverty attending my mind, which occa- lioned a deep inquiry into the caufej and after a time of inward waiting, the hum- bling Divine Prefence was felt in reverent profound filence, yet the gentle operation of the Divine Power caufed a fecret inward trembling, and the following was uttered in a language intelligent to the inward man, ' Gather thyfelf from all the cumbers of ' the world, and be thou weaned from the ' popularity, love, and friendmip thereof/ I believed this to be the voice of the Holy One of Ifrael, as a merciful warning to pre- pare for my final change, or to ftand ready for fome fervice which would feparate me from temporal bufinefs, and the neareft con- nections in life ; and from that time I en- deavoured to fettle my affairs, and contract my little bufinefs as well as I could. In the fummer following I met with an unex- pected trial; for without my knowledge my Dame was put in the new commimon for juftices OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 105 juftices of peace, and endeavours were ufed to perfuade me to be qualified, in order to aft in that ftation, and fome of my particu- lar friends told me it feemed providential, and they thought it was my place to accept thereof, as I might be helpful by way of example to fome in the commiffion who were friends. For a fhort time I was ex- ceedingly ftraitened, but my eye being fixed on the Lord for counfel, it pleafed him in great condefcenfion once more to revive the ientence before mentioned, ' Gather thyfelf * from all the cumbers of the world,' &c. which to me fettled the point, and I became eafy in mind, and humbly thankful to my bleffed Inftructor, who had called me for other fervice. After my return home from the vifit to friends in New-Jerfey, before related, I felt fuch an inward filence for about two or three weeks, that I thought I had done with the world, and alfo any further fervice in the church, and the preparing hint was brought to my mind, with thankful nefs that I had endeavoured in a good degree to prac- tife it. And one day, walking alone, I felt myfelf fo inwardly weak and feeble, that 1 flood ftill, and, by the reverence that co- vered my mind, I knew that the hand of the Lord was on me, and his prefence round about : the earth was filent, and all flefh brought into ftillnefs, and light went forth with brightnefs, and fhone on Great Britain, Ireland, io6 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS Ireland, and Holland, and my mind felt the gentle, yet ftrongly drawing cords of that love which is flronger than death, which made me fay, Lord ! go before, and ftrengthen me, and I will follow whither- ' foever thou leadeft.' I had feen this jour- ney near fifteen years in a very plain man- ner, and at times, for ten years, thought the concern fo ftrong upon me, that I muft lay it before my friends for their advice, but was fecretly retrained; being made to be- lieve that an exercife of that fort would ri- pen beft to be kept quiet in my own heart, to know the right time, by no means defir- ing to run without being fent. To fee a thing is not a commifiion to do that thing : the time when, and judgment to know the acceptable time, are the gifts of God. The time I had to prepare for the journey was fliort, and therefore thought it was needful to employ my time to the befl advantage ; and as I had a defire to fee friends of feveral particular meetings, namely Bradford, Wefl and Eafl Cain, Uwchland, Nantmill, and Golhen, my fifter Dinah James went with me to thofe meetings, which through the goodnefs of tbte Lord were folidly profitable. We had alfo a meeting at Henry Hockley's, near French Creek Iron works, which was to fome good fatisfaclion, and fo to the quarterly meeting at Concord in the twelfth month, where I met my brother, William Brown, who queried of me where I had been, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 107 been, and what I had been doing. I told him, I had been doing as he and every ho- neft man ought to do, collecting little debts, and paying where I owed, and endeavouring to fettle my affairs -, for that fuch care was neccfTary when one expected a great fum would-be immediately demanded. In a few days after my return from the quarterly- meeting I laid my concern before our pre- parative meeting, in order that friends might have a month to weigh and confider it be- fore I fpoke for a certificate : for I wanted their feeling concurrence in this weighty undertaking, firmly believing that my great and good Matter would not require any thing of me in which my dear friends could not concur j and though while the power of truth was upon me, I was made freely to give up, yet now home, and the near af- fection to a dear wife, only fon, relations and friends, were exceedingly quick and af- fecting; and fomething in me feemed to have a choice, that my friends would judge that I was too weakly and infirm in body, or not otherwife qualified for the fervice, and if that mould be their mind, I thought I mould be clear. In the interval I vifited the neighbouring meetings, and carefully attended to the motion . of truth therein : and in the firft month, having the concur- rence of the preparative meeting, I laid my concern before the monthly-meeting, and attended our general fpring-meeting at Phi- ladelphia. io8 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS ladelphia. And my brother, William Brown, having fpoken for a certificate on the like concern, it feemed pleafant to think of crof- fing the ocean together, and friends were for propofing a pafTage, and what fhip we fhould go in ; but I felt a fecret prohibition againft being any ways concerned about a paiTage until I had a certificate, and knew that I was fully clear, ib returned home. And having a defire to fee friends in York coun- ty, over Sufquehanna, I went there, ac- companied by my brother, James Brown, to the meetings at Newberry, Warrington, Huntington, and Monallan, which were moftly to a good degree of fatisfa&ion ; and in my return, being humble and low in mind, and ruminating on my European journey, which was before me, my fpirit feemed to fink, and my affection to my dear wife and family, and friends, fo awakened upon me, that it looked to me impomble to part from them and live ; but endeavouring to retire, bleffed be the name of the Lord, the helper of his people! by whofe power a filence was known, and by a gentle, inflruc- tive, inward voice, my attention was gained, and my mind diverted from its pain by the following query: ' Suppofe thou fhouldfl lend a valuable thing to a neighbour of thine, to be returned on demand, and thou mouldfl favour him therewith from time to time, not only one year, but fe- ven, and then fhouldfl fee caufe to de~ ' mand, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 109 mand it to be refigned; wouldft thou not think that neighbour ungrateful, if he did not refign it chearfully, and with thankfulnefs and acknowledgment fuita- ble to thy kindnefs?' The propofition demanded my aflent, and my understanding was fully opened by the following applica- tion : ' All that thou enjoyeft is mine; doft thou love thefe things more than me ? if not, why is it fo hard for thee to refign. all to follow me?' which made me cry, Lord ! enable me, and I will follow thee : it is only by thy ftrength I can do it." And by the gracious goodnefs of Chrifl, my great and good Mailer, I felt an humble re- iignation to his will, who, being all things to his people, is worthy to be followed and obeyed for ever. Now I was led to believe this was the inflrudion of the bleffed Spirit to me, and as I had much comfort and fa- tisfadtion thereby, I am free to leave it as a hint, that others under trials, of what kind foever, may be encouraged to look unto him for help, who is the Lord, mighty to fave, and able to deliver to the uttermoft all who iincerely truft in him. I returned home, and my certificate being ligned in the fecond month, attended our quarterly-meeting at Concord in the third month, and went to Philadelphia to fee for a paflage, and with my brother, William Brown, found one to our liking, and to the atisfacl:ion of friends, which we alfo va- lued. no THE LIFE AND TRAVELS lued. I then returned home, waiting until the fhip was near ready to fail, and during that time vifited feveral neighbouring meet- ings, taking leave of my neighbours and friends. And on the firft day of the fourth month, (1750) taking leave of my dear wife and aged mother, I left home before fun rife, and went to Philadelphia that night, fpent the next day in viiiting fome of my acquaintance, and on the nrfl day of the week attended three meetings ; in the morning at the Bank, which was a fa- tisfa&ory good meeting, wherein friends were exhorted to attend on the gift of God for inftrudtion and ability to perform every good word and work, and in the afternoon and evening at the High, or Market-ftreet houfe, which, though not quite fo open as the other, were in the main folid good meetings. CHAP. IV. His vijit to Great Britain, Ireland and Holland, from the year 1750 to 1754, with divers obfervations on the Jiate of our religious fociety in the courfe of bis travels. ON the fourth day of the fourth month, (1750) being the fecond of the week, we left Philadelphia, accompanied by feve- ral of our relations and friends to Chefter, and OF JOHN CHURCHMAN, in and went on board the fhip Carolina, Ste- phen Mefnard commander, (bound for Lon- don) where my brother, William Brown, and myfelf, took leave of them; and paf- fing down Delaware, went out to fea in the afternoon of the fixth of the fame month, and had a good pafiage, in which I was not fea fick, though my brother was moft of the time. We landed at Dover on the fixth of the fifth month, being juft five weeks from the time I left my own houfe; and we had to rejoice with humble thankful- nefs that, during the pafTage, we were care- ful to keep our meetings in the great cabin twice a week, in which we felt the prefence of our great Lord and Mafter, and therein were comforted. On the day we landed we had a meeting at Dover, to good fatisfa6tion ; then took paffage in a ftage coach to Can- terbury the fame evening, and lodged at William Patterfon's, who entertained us very kindly; refted there on feventh day, and on firft day fat with friends in their morning and afternoon meetings, to fome fatisfa&ion. Though I had little to fay to them, I thought there was a tender people in that city, and William Brown had an open time. Next morning taking our paf- fage in a ftage coach, we reached London the fame evening, and continued in and about the city until the twenty-firft of the iixth month, in which time I wrote divers letters to my wife, and particular friends in Pennfylvania; ii2 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS Pennfylvania; and was feveral times at each of the meetings in the city, in which I fat moftly filent, under a great exercife of mind from a fenfe of a too forward miniftry, which rather difturbed the folemn quiet thereof than miniftered inftruftion to the humble waiting children, (of which number I thought there were many in that city) though it feemed delightful to thofe who loved to hear words eloquently delivered, and to have the itching ear pleafed, yet who in heart were libertines, and in practice difor- derly walkers. I fometimes thought, that my iilent fitting was fo ordered for an exam- ple to others, for a more fteady waiting in their own gifts, to Know life to rife into dominion in meetings. My exercife in- creafed fo, that my deep feemed to depart from me, and I remained as one fealed up, as to miniftry; nor had I freedom to go from houfe to houfe to dine, or to make many acquaintance : I was therefore cenfured by fome, as fingular and narrow. At length I felt great enlargement of heart towards other focieties, though my mouth was fhut towards our own : and for a time it feemed as if I muft go and have meetings among thofe who did not profefs with us. And one . day, as I was walking towards RatclifF fields, for the air, a draught of affection flowed fo ftrong towards fome in high fta- tions in government, that I concluded, that I muft declare the way of life and falvation through CJF JOtiN CHURCHMAN. 113 fhrough Chrift Jefus our Lord among them, feeling a greater opennefs that way than to friends ; but making a ftand^ I fecretly cried, ' Ah, Lord ! what then will become of the ' family whom thou dreweft me hither to * viiit.' Then, after a little while, that charge came into my mind very frefh, MaU x. 5, 6. " Go not into the way of theGen- " tiles, and into any city of the Samaritans f< enter ye not - y but go rather to the loft ** fheep of the houfe of Ifrael." Which brought great fweetnefs, and an increafmg heart-yearning for, and love to, the houfhold, and made me acknowledge, Good art thou, O Lord God, for thy mercies endure for ever and ever. And I remembered that Nehemiah quietly viewed the flate of Jeru- falem by night; and faw that if I had any fervice to do in London, the time for it was not yet come. I alfo remembered what came into my mind at the fecond meeting I was in after my landing, in which I had but a few fentences to fpeak, and the motion of life ceafed, and I fat down, (as I have always found it fafe to do) and felt inward poverty and weaknefs, yet a quiet and at- tentive mind ; but my brother, William Brown, had good fervice, and an open time among the people, at which I did admire, and laid in my heart, he is fit to be fent abroad ; but, alas ! I am one of the meaneft fervants that was ever fent over the fea to preach the gofpel; when this gentle cau- I tion ii 4 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS tion came before me : ' Mind thy own bu- ' finefs, and be faithful in thy gift; thou ' haft a great jo.urney before thee, and thy ' ftore is fmall : live, therefore, frugally, ' and fpend carefully, and covet not ano- ' ther's, and thou llialt not want what is' ' convenient for thyfelf, and fomething to ' fpare to the needy/ Whereupon I de- fired, with an humble heart, to be preferved in patience and meeknefs, becoming a dif- ciple of my great Lord and Mafter, and therein to wait for renewed inftruction and ability, to labour in mine own gift without repining, however fmall. In a few days I felt fome opennefs to- wards the Weft of England, and informed my brother, William Brown, thereof, who, after a little paufe, told me that his way opened Eaftward. One fome confideration of the matter, we concluded it was beft for each of us to mind the pointings of truth, though in fome crofs to our own wills ; for this profpecT: feemed to part us : and if we mould endeavour to go together for a time, and then part, fome might judge there was a diflike, or want of unity be- tween us, and on communing with fome of our friends, they were of the fame mind. So we reiigned, and in much love and af- fection took leave of each other. Understanding there was a yearly-meet- ing to be held in Somerfetmire for feveral of the weftern counties, and having fome drawings OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 115 drawings to attend it, I left London on the twenty-firfl: of the iixth month, in com^ pany with my friend John Hunt, at whofc houfe I lodged, and John Pemberton, who came over fea with us on account of his health, and had a meeting that day at Staines, which was pretty good and open ;. the next at Bafingftoke, and fo on to Salifbury and Shaftibury, the two laft being dull meetings; (which is often the cafe where. friends are not careful to live near to truth) and reached to Ivelchefter, the place where the yearly* meeting began, on feventh day in the even- ing, the twenty-fifth of the month. On firll day we had two meetings in the town- hall; and many people being there, meet- ings were held at the Market-crofs in the ftreet at the fame time. I fat filent that day. On the next there was a meeting of minif- ters and elders in the morning, in which I had fome remarks to make refpecling mi- niftry. There were alfo two publick meet- ings the fame day, one of which was dull, the other more open, and on third day two meetings rather better, when the yearly-meet-: ing ended. Some meetings being laid out for me, John Hunt returned to London, but John Pemberton concluded to go with me a few days, and his company was kindly accepted of by me, he being a fober, well inclined young man. We went to Ilminfter, the firft appoint- ed meeting, in which the good prefence was witneffed much to my comfort : for I faw I 2 that ii6 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS that the Lord was near, and helped me iri my gift by opening the flate of the meet- ing, blefTed be his name for ever ! I alfo had an evening meeting at Chard, and next day at Yeovil, which was large, and open for doctrine. Then at Sherborn, on the edge of Dorfetmire. From thence went to viiit the wife and children of Jonah Thomp- fon, at Compton, he being in Pennfylvania, on a religious vifit. I had fome good fatif- faction in the family, and tarried there a day. Then went to the meetings at Long Sutton, Puddimore, Grinton, Glaftonbury, Shipton-mallet, and Frome, in which I had moftly clofe and plain fervice, yet not with- out a degree of the fweetnefs and power of truth, in a fenfe whereof I was often made humbly thankful to the Lord. Then pro- ceeding to Bath, was at the forenoon and afternoon meetings there, and had an even- ing meeting at Caleb Tyley's r which were in fome good degree owned by truth j but there is a want of weighty folid friends in this place, which is much frequented by moil forts of people, on account of the wa- ters. From thence we went to Bradford and Pickwick meetings; but not being clear at the firft, I returned, and had an evening meeting there, to which many came, and it ended to fatis faction. Here I may note, that having a defire to fee friends by them- felves, and fomething on my mind in a clofe manner to the fociety, when I flood up and began OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 117 began to fpeak, the houfe was foon almofl filled by others, who would wait without, fetting fome one to watch when there was any thing fpoken. Upon their coming in the fubjecl: in my view clofed, and an open- ing in a doctrinal way prefented, and my mind turned to it, and I believe it was to the fatisfaction of fome feeking people pre- fent. After I fat down a few minutes, finding no eafe refpecting my concern to- wards friends, I had a freedom to inform the people, that the publick fervice of that meeting was now over, but I had a delire that the members of the meeting would ftay a little while. On which a friend went to the door, and when the others had gone out {hut it, and the friends moftly kept their feats, and in a little time the ftate of the meeting came frem before me again, and I had an opportunity to clear myfelf in a very plain manner; mewing that the great- eft enemies to the truth were the proieflbrs of it, who did not obferve the inftruftions of truth, or grace of God, in their own hearts/ for although the docTrine thereof, when declared by qualified inftruments, was clear and powerfully convincing, having the love and fweetening evidence of truth with it, reaching the witnefs in their hearts ; yet when the eyes of fuch fo reached were turned to behold the fteps and conduct of the libertine profeflbrs among us, they were tumbled by their example, and fuch were I 3 In ii8 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS an offence to the Irttle ones, and their poiVf tion, by way of companion, is hinted at by our Lord, when he fays, Mat. xviii. 6. f( But whofo fhall offen.d one of thefe little " ones, who believe in me, it were better (t for him that a millftone were hanged " about his neck, and that he were drowned f< in the depth of the lea." From thence we went to Weftbury and Lavington meet- ings, and to the quarterly-meeting for Wilt- mire, held at Devizes, which began on the firft day of the week, two meetings for pub- lick wormip, and one in the evening for miniflers and elders, and nexj: day for wor- mip and buiinefs ; but I could fee no time, nor room to clear myfelf to advantage, for want of more ftillnefs. The fervice of meetings may be hurt for want of filence, and the minds of the people become too unfettled to un'derftand and hear to profit. In a fenfe whereof I left this place, with an heavy heart, and went to Chippenham, Cor- fham, Charlcot, and Melkmam meetings; be- iides which had three evening meetings, one at Pickwick, in a fchool-houfe belonging to Thomas Bennet, with his boarding fcholars, and others ; one at John Fry's, of Sutton Ben- jar; and the other at Samuel Rutty's; fome of which were good meetings. Then leav- ing Wiltshire, 'we paffed through Bradford and Bath, and came to Briftol on the twen- ty-fecond of the month, where I tarried Until firft day, the feventh of the eighth month, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 119 month, cOnftantly attending the'r meetings as they came in courfe, and viiiting feveral families, as truth opened my way. My mind and fpirit was bowed very low in this city, under a fenfe of too general a declen- fion and falling away from truth, into pride, high-mindednefs, and the fpirit of the world, and a conformity to the vain cuftoms and fafhions thereof, of which I frequently made mention amongft them. I was at their two weeks meeting for buimefs, and quar- terly-meeting for infpecling the affairs of truth, and laboured much to encourage them to hold weekly-meetings for minifters- and elders, in order to enquire how meetings for worfhip were attended by publick friends, and whether' their miniftry was acceptable, and the lives and converfations of minifters and elders correfpondent with their doctrine and profeifion ; which care they had dropped for fome time. I was at fixteen meetings in this, city, and one at Frenchay, and vi- fited Anthony Purver's boarding- fchool at that place. And being eafy to leave Briftol for the prefent, we went to Chewmagna, in Somerfetmire j and, after dining at John Hipfley's, had a religious opportunity in his family, and the next day a meeting at Portif- head, an evening meeting at James Player's; then. .to Claverham, Sidcot, and Mark, fome of which were good meetings. A few el- derly friends here live near truth, and there was a vifitation to the youth, feveral of 1.. whom 120 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS whom appeared tender and growing in relir gion ; though many profeffors are feeking after the gain, love, and friendfhip of the world, not enough confidering that godlinefs with contentment is the beftgain. Our next meeting was at Bridge water, then at Taun- ton; and we were comforted together with friends in their morning and afternoon meet- ings. In the Divine prefence there is life$ and the living are made able to praife the Lord, who is worthy. From thence paffing to Minehead, Milverton, Wellington, Spice- land, Columpton, having a meeting at each place, we came to Exeter, in Devonshire, and attended three meetings there on firit day, in each of which I had fomething to offer; but was much depreffed under an ap- prehenfion of the prevalence of a deiftical fpirit over fome, which, with the indifference of others about religion, and a light forward zeal in fome others, without the deep, in- ward, baptizing knowledge of truth, occa- fion the pure and ever blelfed power thereof to be at a low ebb in that city. When the children of the Lord know him their Re- deemer to live by his heavenly power in them, they know alfo that thereby they live, and feelingly know his truth and the pre- cious teftimony, and by this knowledge are influenced with an holy, humble zeal, in love and meeknefs to work in his vineyard the church, to the honour of God, and the edification and reftoration one of another. Leaving OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 121 Leaving Exeter, we went to Topmam, and had a dark, dull meeting ; and flaying at a friend's houfe to dine, one at the table, who, as I underftood, could not fpare time to attend the meeting, afked me if I was ever in New-England, and whether I could inform him what fort of a country it was : for, added he, I have heard people fay, that the corn (that is wheat) will not ripen there, but is fmitten with a rotting mildew, which blafts the wheat in the ear. I fuddenly felt that I had need of being careful in answer- ing, but knew not why. I anfwered with caution, that I had feen wheat in that coun- try which looked to be well grown, but ia the ear, where grain mould be, there was little elfe but a black fmut, in form of a grain. I have heard, faid he, that it would bear full, good wheat formerly, and what can how be the caufe why it is blafled 3 didft thou ever hear ? On which I related to him a paifage which I had heard, viz. two perfons being in Bofton, had a curioiity to lee the old prifon, from whence thofe friends were led to the place of execution who were hanged at Bofton for their religious tefti- mony and principles ; and an inhabitant of the town going with them, brought them to the prifon j and one of the men faid to their guide, is this the old jail where the friends lay who were hanged ? An old wo- man, who fat knitting at the door, though jiot fpoken to, anfwered, Yes, it is, and we feelingly 122 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS feelingly know it ; for a curfe has been on the land ever fince, fo that it will not bear wheat without a blafting, and we are be- holden to other colonies for bread. He re- plied, with an air of jefting, 1 have heard fo, but I believe nothing of it. I told him we might obferve, that the Almighty had fometimes manifeired his difpleafure on a people or nation, by famine, the fword, or peftilence, for their tranfgremons, if we had a belief in the facred writings of the Old Teftament. He faid it could not be, that the Almighty, who is love in perfection, and in himfelf infinitely happy for ever, fhould delight in feverity, and take vengeance on man, the workmanfhip of his hand: fome, who. are narrow in their way of think- ing, may believe fuch things, but, for his part, he had ideas more noble of the Deity, than to believe fuch notions. By which I perceived he was a Deift, and did not re- gard the fcriptures, and that it would be vain to fay much to him : having often thought it was very difficult to fay any thing to reacji thofe fort of low freethinkers, who exerciie themfelves in the wifdom which is from beneath, and dwell fafely in their own imaginations and conceits, whofe communi- cation is often infectious to others, and to be perceived in the meetings and neighbour- hoods where they refide. From thence we went to Bovey, Newton- Bufhel, Totnefs, and King's Bridge j at the ~ OF JOHN CHURCHiMAN. 123 laft, after the morning and afternoon meet- ings, we had one in the evening with friends feledted, which was to fatisfadion. And hearing of one family that lived many miles from any meeting, I had a de- fire to fee them, and went thither. I let the friend know that I came there on pur- pofe to fee him and his family, and mould be glad to have them come together, and be ftill a little while, defiring it might bs foon, for we intended to go that night to Ply- mouth. He faid it would not anfwer them at that time, his children being employed in preffing out cyder. I let him know that I hoped I mould not detain them long, and if they lightened the prefs, the cyder would not run over : but could not prevail with him, though I informed him that I had left all my bufinefs, and had come fome thou- fands of miles to fee my friends in this na- tion; and hearing how remote he lived from meeting, had a particular mind to fee him. He replied, that he mould be glad if it had fuited them, but could not put his buiinefs by at that time. So, with a heavy heart, I left his houfe, and went to Plymouth, where we had a meeting the next day. Then to Germain's, Lifcard, Looe, Auftil, and Den- ny's, (in Cornwall) at which laft place the people are moftly employed in the tin mines, and we had a pretty good meeting, a vilit from a friend being acceptable to them, and they willing to leave their buiinefs, though poor 124 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS poor people. From hence we proceeded pretty direct to the land's-end, intending to take the meetings on our return, and were at Penzance meeting on fixth day. At this meeting my companion, John Pemberton, fpoke a few words in way of teflimony, ten- der and broken, being the firil time, and I thought had a good degree of the favour of truth attending. And on feventh day went to vifit an ancient friend fick and bed rid, near the land's-end, where formerly there had been a meeting, and returned in the evening to Penzance. On firft day had a meeting at Marazion in the morning, and at Penzance in the evening. We then turned eaftward, and attended a meeting at Fal- mouth, and five others in this county of Cornwall. Then pafied through Devonmire, taking a meeting at Oakhampton, and twelve others in Somerfetmire, fome of which were large and open, for there came many feek- ing people to the meetings at Bridgewater, and I hope fome of thofe opportunities were, through Divine favour, profitable to fome of them. And not being eafy in my mind to leave this county without being at the quarterly-meeting for bufinefs, to be held at Glaftonbury, I returned thither, and was concerned to lay before friends the declining itate of the fociety in that county, and to exhort them to put the difcipline in prac- tice, that the church might be cleared from diforders, which caufed reproach. It was thought OF JOHN CHURCHlVfAN. 12$ thought by friends to be the moft folid quar- terly meeting which had been held in that county for many years. From thence we went to Calne, in Wiltfhire, being about fifty miles, and were at their meeting on firil day, the fixteenth of the tenth month ; where we met our friend and countryman Daniel Stanton, from Philadelphia, in the courfe of his religious vifit, and were glad in each other's company, though the meet- ings, both forenoon and afternoon., were but dull; the people looking for words were dii- appointed. The next day we went together to a monthly-meeting at Chippenham. The meeting for worfhip was held in the meet- ing-houfe; at the conclufion of which friends rofe and went out. ' I afked them where they were going, for I felt very uneafy; they faid to do the bufinefs of the meeting; and feeling a ftrong engagement to be with them while they tran faded the affairs of the church, I followed them, though it rained very fail. They went into a fpacious houfe, where a room was prepared for the purpofe, and a good fire. I fat down with them, though ibrely dift relied. They feemed to do the bufmefs in a formal ready way; I endea- voured to prefs them to weightinefs of fpi- rit, that they might feel the rtate of the fo- ciety, and the need there was to put the difcipline in practice, for religion was at a low ebb in that county. They feemed not to underftand me, and indeed I found but little 126 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS little room or opennefs to fay much to therm They foon finifhed their bufmefs ; when I rofe up, and moved for going away : they informed me, that friends ftaid to dine where the bufmefs was tranfacted, and that the friends of the houfe would think it very ftrange if I went away : fo they told the woman that the friend was going away. She met me in the hall, and faid I muft not go before I took dinner. I told her I mould, for I had not freedom to fray to eat or drink in the houfe. She afked me why. I pref- iingly delired her to enquire of the truth in her own heart, and me might find the caufe; fo I went away, and a friend followed me out, and mewed me the way to his houfe, where I left my horfe, and there I found Daniel Stanton, and my companion, John Pemberton, who went not to the meeting for bufmefs. Daniel informed me, that he followed us to the door, but could not go in ; for he thought he felt the life of truth flruck at, or trampled upon in that houfe, and therefore returned to the other, where we had left our horfes, and John Pemberton with him. t I was glad that he had fuch a fenfe, and he exprefTed fatisfaclion that I did not ftay to dine, fo we dined together ; after which Daniel went weftward, and we towards London, taking feveral meetings in our way, and arrived there the thirty-firft of the tenth month, and tarried in the city until the twenty-fifth of the eleventh month. OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 127 month. In the mean time I carefully vifited all the meetings, in great awfulnefs, being bowed in fpirit under a fenfe of a forward miniftry, and fat chiefly in filence among them. I alfo attended their meetings for difcipline, namely, one quarterly-meeting, the monthly, two weeks, fecond day morn- ing meeting, and meeting for fufferings, and was in much heavinefs of mind, having a fenle of a great neglect in fome who were active members, in not waiting for a true qualification to act for the honour of God and edification of the church. Neverthelefs, there is a remnant who are concerned to feek his honour, and to wait for the influence of his Divine Spirit and Power, to whom J was, at times, concerned to fpeak by way of en- couragement. To tranfadt the weighty af- fairs of the church in as light and eafy a manner as men commonly buy and fell in a market, will always rather bring death over a meeting than life. We left London on the twenty-fixth of the eleventh month, and went to Chelmf- ford, in EfTex, and the next day fat with friends in their forenoon and afternoon meet- ings, to pretty good fatisfaction, through the goodnefs and power of the Lord> whofe prefence was meafurably felt among us to the praife of his ever worthy name. Then taking meetings as regularly as we could, we vifited that county in twenty-four days, and had twenty-three publick meetings, and fome 128 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS fome family fittings. My fervice for truth in this county was in a clofe plain way, moftly with but few words -, for it often appeared to me, that there was a greater deli re to hear, than to put in practice thofe things they were exhorted to, for which I often mourned, and had a flrong fympathy with the few fenfible, baptized friends among them. For brevity fake I clofe this general account without further remark. We then paffed to Ipfwich, in Suffolk, and had a meeting with friends there to fome fatisfadion -, there being a tender fin- cere remnant among them. And taking the caft part of the county, we had ten meet- ings, and vifited feveral indifpofed friends to good fatisfaction. Then went to Yar- mouth, in Norfolk, and after attending their meetings in the morning and afternoon on iirft day, had a large fatisfactory one the fame evening, many of the people of the town coming to it. Then going to Nor- wich, we tarried with friends there about a week, in which time I had four meetings in that city, and one at Lammas, near it ; and alfo viiited divers indifpofed friends, and had fatisfaclion therein. Intending to vifit all the meetings in Norfolk county, a friend undertook to lay them out for me, and made a lift of them, of which he gave me a copy, and told me it was the way to take the meetings with the leaft travelling : but I felt a ilrait in my mind, which I had al- ways OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 129 ways found it fafe for me to attend to, un- til I faw a way open ; and being thought- ful about it, I deiired him to inform me what meeting bore moft to the north-eaft from that place j he told me it was North- Walfliam ; I deiired him to begin there, and name the meetings moft regular afterwards, and I would tell him if the lift felt pleafant as he went on. He then proceeded, and we readily fmiihed one that was eafy to me ; when I deiired him to fet down the diftances, as he had done in the other, and, on com- paring them, we found the lail to be at leaft three miles lefs riding. He feemed to be pleafed, and faid it was not the ufual way of taking thofe meetings. I was willing to lay out nine, but told him, I was not fully eafy to venture the giving publick notice further ; that perhaps the weather might be difficult. He faid there would be a general meeting in a few days, when friends from many meetings would be together, and likely to have full notice very eafily given for a few meetings further, which he thought I had befl leave to him. So we went forward to North- Walmam, and had a fatisfaclory meeting, and taking the meetings in courfe, came to the quarterly-meeting of minifters and elders at Norwich. The friend who laid out the meetings informed me, that if I had taken them according to his firft lift, I mould have interfered with a publick friend at feveral, who was then on a vifit, K 130 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS and he thought there was a hand of Provi- dence remarkable in turning me : for as we were both ftrangers, we mould have been ftraitened through a tender regard to each other's fervice. He likewife let me know, that he did not remember that their quar- terly-meeting began the next day after the meeting beyond which I told him I was not free to appoint any; and that having fent the lift to a friend, to publim at the general meeting before mentioned, he had been obliged to attend that meeting to ftop the notice refpedling the few meetings he talked of, otherwife I mould have miffed the quarterly-meeting; and he thought it would teach him to be more cautious in future. I mention this occurrence with a degree of reverent thankfulnefs and humility, with no other view than to encourage thofe mi- nifters who are called forth to vilit the churches, to diligently and innocently at- tend to the motion of truth, which, the more we are humbled and inwardly quiet, the clearer it is underftood and felt : but as this is inftruclion for ourfelves, it is fafer for us to treafure it up in our own hearts, than to make it too cheap by talking there- of to others. This quarterly-meeting, both in refpect to publick worfhip and tranfad:- ing the affairs of truth, was held to fatif- fadtion, through the Lord's favour, who will be near to them that diligently feek him, blelTed be his name for ever ' Then OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 131 Then taking Ellingham meeting, we went to Thetford, and had a meeting with friends there, both which were diftremng, from a fenfe of the prevalence of a ranting fpirit. Here it appeared expedient to lay out meet- ings for the enfuing week, in order that iuitable notice might be given ; and as they were- named to me in courfe by friends, I felt a remarkable defire to fee the friends of one certain meeting by themfelves, at or near the eleventh hour of the day, although quite a flranger to their fituation, numbers, or flate. And a friend being prefent belong- ing to that meeting, I requeued her care about it, and then went home with Richard Brewfler to Edmondfbury, and attended the meetings there on the nrft day morning and afternoon, which were in the main fatisfac- tory, and in the evening had a meeting with a fick friend. In this town there is a confi- derable number of hopeful friends. We then went to Rattlefden, Bardwell, and through Livermore to Brand, the place where I had the defire to fee friends by themfelves, as before mentioned, and com- ing to the friend's houfe whofe wife had been intrufted with the notice, I afked her if it was not time to go to the meeting; me faid, Thou muft afk my hufband, appearing to be diftrefled. I afked where he was ; me replied in his warehoufe, and fent for him. He coming after a while, I fuppofe about twelve o'clock, I afked him the time of the K 2 meet- I j 3 2 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS meeting; he anfwered, At fix in the evening, to be fure. I told him, that I had informed his wife of my deiire that it fhould be at eleven; he replied, She faid fo; but I thought it would be difhonourable, for few only would attend it at that time ; for the people of that town were chiefly fuch as were ob- liged to do their day's work, which would be finifhed at fix in the evening, when the houfe would be nearly full. I told him I did defire to fee friends by themfelves, and fuppofed they could meet at any hour. He granted that they could have met at the time propofed ; but fa'd, he was a man of a more liberal fpirit than to want to eat his morfel alone, but was defirous his neigh- bours fhould partake with him; and thought it his duty to endeavour to inform and help thofe whom he apprehended were backward or ignorant in the performanee of their duty : and he faid the end and intent of ministers going forth was to publifh the gof- pel, and he thought to the more the better. I let him know that it was neceflary for thofe who were called to the work of the miniftry, to know alfo to whom they were called, or otherwife they might be miftaken, and go north inftead of fouth, or to a dif- ferent nation or country. He anfwered, that he believed if they were rightly called, the fpirit would inform them where they were to go. I replied, very well ; and when they are come to the right place, the fpirit would OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 133 would let them know what they have to do. He faid, I believe fo too. Whereupon I told him, -if I knew the language of that Spirit which called me from my native land to Old England, it was the fame that in- clined me to fee the friends of that town by themfelves ; and afterwards, if I felt an en- largement of mind, 1 could have propofed a publick meeting with the town's-people in the evening. And why not one opportu- nity for both, he queried ; adding, ' for I ' mould be willing that all the town might * hear what thou canft have to fay to us.' I then faid to him, * If a certain great per- * fon, on whom thy profperity in all things ' temporal did abfolutely depend, mould, * in Angular kindnefs to thee, fend a mef- * fenger to acquaint or advife thee of fome ' matter relating to thyfelf, in thy own par- ' ticular conduct, in which thy profperity, * peace, and intereft would, without thy < immediate care, be nearly affected, w r ouldft * thou judge it prudent to fay to the am- * bafTador of fuch a friend, deliver not thy ' meiTage to me, until I call my neighbours * and the people of the town to hear it, and * fo expofe thy own weaknefs to thy difad- * vantage, without benefit to thy neigh- * hours ? Confider it carefully ; my heart ' yearns to the profeflbrs of truth in this ' town, and it feems to me that my bufinefs 4 at prefent was only with them; and as I * Cannot have an opportunity, according to K 3 'my i 3 4 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS ' my freedom and defire, I mall hold myfelf * excufed.' He anfwered, If nothing but a meeting with friends will do, we muft fend them word to come together as foon as they can. I told him that would now by no means do; for he was at prefent fo chafed in his mind, that he could not hear to much advantage. He then afked me what end would be anfwered by my coming there. I told him, to detect fuch heady, unfound members as he was, that thought it difho- nourable for a few friends to meet together to worfhip God, though their number was more than two or three, to whom the pro- mife was. He faid, Then what will become of the meeting ? I let him know he mufl look to that, who had without orders hea- dily appointed it, and fo left him, and went to Mildenhall, where a friend told me, that he being at the meeting aforefaid when pub- lick notice was given, that it was on this wife, ' Friends and neighbours, pleafe to * take notice, that a friend from America ' defires a publick meeting here on Wed- * nefday next, at fix o'clock in the even- ' ing,' which circumflance I did not know when I was at his houfe. On the whole I had inward peace in my obfervations and conduct to this man, and many friends re- joiced; for feveral had been overborne by him, to their grief: and I was fince in- formed, that he fomewhat laid the matter to heart, and was often heard to fay, that OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 135 he would not ferve any friend fo again. After which we had many meetings in this county, and paffing into Cambridgeshire, had eight meetings therein : and I thought the life of religion was low in general, though there are a few tender friends in fe- veral places. We then went to divers meet- ings in Huntingdonshire, Northampton- Shire, Bedfordfhire, and Hertfordshire, in which it was moftly my lot to point out to friends the danger they were in of lofing the pure favour of truth, for want of humbly attending to the dictates thereof in their own hearts, which had already occafioned a dwarfimnefs among the profeffors in thofe parts. Several friends met us at Waltham- Abbey from London, with whom we went to that city, in order to attend the yearly- meeting, which began on the twenty-lixth, and ended on the fixth day of the week, the thirty-first of the third month, (1751) and in the feveral fittings thereof, both for publick worShip and the tranfadtion of the aifairs of truth, was thought, by many, to be the moft weighty and folid meeting that had been known for many years ; which was caufe of humble rejoicing and deep thank- fulnefs to many friends, in that the Lord had vpuchfafed his heavenly prefence in wif- dom and power, to the praife of his facred name. Several friends ftaying in the city after the meeting was over, we had a large a.nd fatisfaftory one on the feventh day of JC 4 the 136 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS the week, and I tarried, attending divers meetings, until the (ixth of the fourth month ; then went to Chelmsford, and fat with friends in their morning and afternoon meetings on firft day, and from thence to the yearly-meeting at Colchcfter -, but being taken ill of a fever, I was prevented attend- ing more than one fitting of that meeting ; yet through mercy was refigned, and had peace. I ftaid their meeting in that town on the fifth day of the week, and the next day fet forward with my brother, William Brown, John Griffith, and my companion, in order to attend Woodbridge yearly-meet- ing, which began on the feventeenth of the month ; and although the fever had not left me, I was enabled to attend every fitting of it, which was a large and folid meeting throughout, and friends were refrefhed to- gether, praifed be the Lord ! whofe mercy is great to his people. My companion, John Pemberton, went with my brother to fome adjacent meetings, but I ftaid the week day meeting in this town, which was through di- vine favour fatisfactory. We met again at the yearly-meeting at Norwich in a few days, which concluded to fatisfaction, and friends were made truly thankful to the Lord for this additional favour. We fpent a few days longer at this city, and attended their monthly-meeting j after which, having a defire to vifit a few meetings in company with my brother, William Brown, where ranterifin OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 137 ranterifm feemed to prevail, he having the like concern, we took a monthly-meeting at Wymondham, alfo the meetings at Matif- hall and Ellingham, in which we were con- cerned to ufe great plainnefs to clear our- felves, on account of that ranting fpirit. Then went to Wareham, and had a pre- cious meeting with the few friends of that place, and to a very large general meeting at Downham, many of other focieties being there ; and it became my concern to recite the words of our blefled Lord, John v. 39, 40. " Search the fcriptures ; for in them " ye think ye have eternal life, and they *' are they which teftify of me. And ye " will not come to me, that ye might have " life." From whence I had to mew them the danger of trufting to information and knowledge, whether by reading the fcrip- tures, or hearing them preached, and neg- lecting to attend unto the infpeaking voice pf Chrift immediately in the heart, which js the only fure interpreter of the fcriptures, leading thofe who attend to his inftruction in the fure way to life eternal. Then part- ing with William Brown, we went to Wif- bich, and Thornyfenn, in Cambridgeshire, and taking divers meetings in Lincolnfhire, we parTed into the Eaft-riding of Yorkfhire, jn which we had twenty-four meetings, and taking eight in the county of Durham, we came to Shields, in Northumberland, Newcafllej and Alnwick; Abbey, and reached Kelfo, 138 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS Kelfo, in Scotland, on the firft of the fe~ venth month, where we met Sufanna Fo- thergill, on her return home. We attended the morning and afternoon meetings at Kel- fo, on firit day. Alas! truth is here at a low ebb ; and feeling my mind not to be clear of friends in this place, I deiired to have a felecT; meeting with them, which Su- fanna and her companion attended, and we had an opportunity of clearing ourfelves of friends there, who had much fallen from the fimplicity of the pure truth, into the modes, fafhions, and cuftoms of the world, in their drefs, language, and manners; and truth owned our fervice with a degree of its Divine authority ; bleffed be the Lord, the God of Truth ! We then went to a meet- ing at the houfe of John Chrifty, at Orm- ilon, to which many people came, and be- haved quietly, and the doctrine of truth opened^ pretty freely to them. From thence to a meeting at Edinburgh, in which I had a fenfe that filence was beil, apprehending the people had been too much fed with words, After fome time one flood up, and fpake of the excellence of refignatiori in mi- nifters to fpeak, or contentedly to be filent \ to be any thing or nothing, as the Lord was pleafed to order : but a fecret diftreffing fear attended my mind, that he was not enough inwardly engaged to diftinguifh the order and motion of the Spirit of Truth, from the bufy imaginatipn and will of the crea- ture, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 139 ture, unfubjected to the Divine Spirit j and I found a concern to mew the nature of true refignation, and the low humble quiet that attended the minds of minifters, or hearers, who had come to the real knowledge of it ; the defire of fuch as was turned unto the Lord only for heavenly inftruction, and an inward evidence of the life and motion of truth ; for want of which, true gofpel mi- niflry was fometimes obftructed, and the reafon of filence not fully underftood. Af- ter I fat down the fame perfon again ftood up, and in a flow of words, and a zealous tone, faid, that weaknefs, qr the want of experience, led people to miftake both their own and the condition of others. As he appeared to me to be actuated by a confident, ranting fpirit, my mind was greatly exer- cifed after the meeting. I remained at this place the two following days, being detained by rainy weather, and attended the meeting in the morning of firft day, at which I fat iilent; but the fame perfon fpake fome time, in words very encouraging to the auditory, as if all was well with them, which tended to increafe the exercife of my mind, having a very different fenfe of the ftate of the meeting. I again attended their meeting in the afternoon, when the fame perfon feemed as if he intended foon to ftand up ; but feeling the teftimony of truth ftrong againft that forward ranting fpirit, and the fenfe thereof being weighty upon me, J endea- voured 140 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS voured to keep under it in patience, and foon the concern of that perfon began to diminim, and he to be drowfy, after which J had a favourable open time to clear my mind of the exercife that had been upon me. Next day we parTed over the Frith, about feven miles broad, landed at Kinghorn, and rode to a town called Cowper, and the day- following reached to the houfe of one who efleemed himfelf a friend, near Montrofe, where we endeavoured to have a meeting, but he would not allow it, alledging, that it would do his people or fervants no good, and as for himfelf, he thought he knew as much of the truth as we could inform him : and, indeed, he feemed fo whole and felf- righteous, I thought it would not avail to fay much to him. We were informed by a perfon v/ho accompanied us a few miles, that this man, in his younger years, had a publick teftimony to bear for the truth, but had for a long time left it off (as he worded, it) and now, his men fervants mufl not ap- proach him with their heads covered. " If " the light in you become darknefs, how " great is that darknefs." From hence we went to Ury, the feat of Robert Barclay,, grandfon to the Apologift, but had no meet- ing until we came to the Old Town, nea$ a mile north of Aberdeen, which was, through the goodnefs of the Lord, fome- what lengthening. From thence went to OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 141 John Elmflie's, at Old-Meldrum, and on firft day morning attended Killmuck meet- ing, and in the evening one at Old-Mel- drum, to which many people came, and, through Divine favour, thefe meetings were fatisfactory. The next day we had a feled: meeting with friends, of whom there are feveral here, tender and valuable, and we parted in love : and going to Kingfwells had a meeting there with many friends and others, truth owning the fervice, which was caufe of humble rejoicing. Continuing at and near Aberdeen, we had a large meet- ing on firffc day at Robert Barclay's. Al- though the defcendants and children of friends, who were as bright as ftars in their day, may value themfelves on the worthinefs of their parents, yet if they do not love and ferve the God of their fathers with a perfed: heart and an upright mind, he will not own them with his heavenly prefence, but they will be as unfavoury fait. We then fet forward on our return to- wards England, taking two meetings in our way to Glafgow, where, on firft day, we had alfo two, which were large, open, and fatisfadlory, to which many tender inquiring people came, who behaved well, and in the evening of the fame day, had another with thofe called friends by themfelves, having a concern to lay before them the need they had to look to their ways and converfation, that they might be as lights and good ex- amples 142 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS amples among the people in that place, who were feekers after the truth, and not give them occafion of Humbling through an evil conduct. Then paffing to Carlifle, in. Cumberland, Morehoufe, Scoby, Solport, and Kirklington, in moft of which meetings truth feemed to be profefled, but too few had the life thereof in poffeffion, which occafions hard dry meetings ; we rode to Cornwood, in Northumberland, and lodged at the houfe of a man who had been for feveral years of a diforderly conduit, and much given to the exceffive ufe of ftrong drink, until he had very much impaired his conftitution ; but it pleafed the Lord to open his underftanding, and make him ac- quainted with his blefled truth, whereby he was made free from that evil, and received ftrength to forfake his old companions. But his joining with friends was a great grief to his wife, who informed me, that through prejudice, for a time, me would rather he had continued his former courfe of living than to become a Quaker, until obferving the fweetnefs of his temper, and the reco- very of his health, in fome degree, with a folid and fober conduct, me was reached, and made to believe in the power by which he had known fuch a victory, and joined herfelf in the fame religious profeffion : they appeared to be fteady friends. I would to God, that all tipplers and drunkards would turn to that great Prophet which is in OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 143 in Ifrael, that they might by him be cleanfed from that leprofy of fin ! We had a com- fortable meeting the next day in his houfe, with his neighbours and fome friends : and on firft day were at Allandale meeting, where are fome folid friends, though others much tainted with a fpirit of ranterifm, which is a confident, felf-righteous fpirit, and very hard to be won upon. After hav- ing a meeting at Aldflinmoor, we palled to the meetings at Penrith, in Cumberland, Terril, and Strickland, which is in a corner of Weftmoreland. It was with fome diffi- culty we had the meeting at Terril, a man of that place faying, he thought it needlefs, or queftioned whether it would be to ad- vantage, as moft of their members had been at Penrith meeting; but after the meet- ing he defired that I would not take it hard of him for endeavouring to difcourage me, owning that he was miftaken. Whereupon I cautioned him to be more careful in fu- ture how he difcouraged fuch who had come fo many thoufand miles to vilit them. Having meetings at divers places in the week following, I travelled in great pain and anguifh of mind, from a fenfe of the prevalence of a dark, deiftical fpirit over many of the profeflbrs of truth ; of which concern the Lord was pleafed to give me flrength and underftanding to clear myfelf, both in publick and private. There is no power but his that can enable his fervants to THE LIFE AND TRAVELS to do his work, and is over all the powers of Satan. On the next firft day we were at Holme meeting. In the forenoon I fat filent. One of the ftock of the old ranters was there, and very troublefome, accufing many friends, no doubt falfely - y and in the afternoon meeting I had not much to fay, believing that old ranting fpirit is rather fed with words, and delights in cofltention, but found it my place to exhort friends to re- tire deeply inward in all their meetings, humbly waiting to be admitted into the heavenly pretence, to know their place of feeding to be out of the reach of fuch rant- ing fpirits : for if they fuffered their own fpirits to rife or refent their ill ufage, the meeting would be the more difquieted. Our next meetings were at Allonby and Brough- ton; from whence I went home with our friend Chriftopher Wilfon to his houfe at Grayfothen, and the next day attended the burial of a young man at Pardmaw Hall, and the day following the burial of a young woman at the fame place; both of which meetings were very large and folid, and I hope, through Divine goodnefs, profitable to many. The firft day of the following week we were at two meetings at White- haven, in both which I had fome fervice, under the influence and owning of truth. We put up our horfes at a friend's houfe, who had been ufed to lodge publick friends, but I was not free to tarry there, being burthened OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 145 burthened with his conduct in the manner of his entertainment, which was even to fuperfiuity and grandeur, no way becoming the fimplicity of truth. So, after mewing my diflike therewith, I went to the houfe of John Harris, at Highfield, his wife be- ing with us, and refled there a day, the weather being exceeding rainy. Then go- ing to the meetings at Cockermouth, Ifell, and Grayfothen, we returned to Cocker- mouth, and had a meeting with friends by themfelves, that is, without giving publick notice, which was, through Divine favour, to good fatisfadtion. Refting another day with our friend John Harris, we went to meetings at Pardmaw Hall, and at Kefwick, at which laft I was concerned to exhort the few friends there to keep up their week day meetings, having a fear they were flack on that account. We lodged at an inn, where we had the company of fome of thofe friends, and in particular one who was a publick friend. Some of them faid, if he would attend the week day meeting, they believed the reft of them would; which gave me occafion to obferve to him, that he did not example well, and ought to be more careful, as he had a publick teftimony to bear for truth. He replied, that he was obliged to be induftrious to fupport his fa- jnilyj but at laft confefled, that * he did ' not like to fet with fo few friends, for ' none elfe would come on a week day, and L it 146 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS * it was very dull and poor fitting ; and he ' liked to fit in meetings where there were ' many afTembled, for then he had fome- ' thing to fay; fo life did arife, and all were ' comforted and edified." By which it ap- peared that he had greater fatisfa&ion in preaching than in humble filent waiting to experience the worfhip which is performed in fpirit and truth, to edification and com- fort. I told him, that I feared he was too much a ftranger to pure religion, and the nature of divine worfhip. From thence we went to Hawkfhead, in Lancafhire, and had an evening meeting there in a friend's houfe,. and next day were at the Hight meeting, and then at Swarth- more, where George Fox formerly lived, which had been famous for the profperity of truth, but it is now at a low ftate there. We then went to Kendal, in Weftmoreland, where we attended their two meetings on the firft day of the week ; and after taking fome other meetings in the neighbourhood, returned to that town, in and about which we tarried feveral days, and vifited more than twenty families, and attended ten pub- lick meetings; many of which opportunities were made precious, through the goodnefs and great condefcenfion of our Lord and Saviour. And in the fchool of our friend Thomas Rebanks I had an extraordinary meeting; where many young folks not of our fociety were reached by the power of truth, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 147 truth, which was comfortably over all, praifed be the Lord for ever ! In the courfe of our vifiting families here, during our filent fitting in one of them, my mind was much taken up in thinking of a watch, and the feveral wheels and movements thereof, until I was grieved at fuch trifling thoughts, as I efteemed them; when fuddenly there appeared fomething inftrucling therein, and I had a freedom to fay, the feveral parts thereof feemed to reprefent the excellent inward faculties and gifts beftowed on man, and that though the wheels, &c. of a watch were truly made, and placed in their proper order, there muft be a main fpring to give them motion ; fo the gifts and faculties of men muft have their main fpring and caufe of motion to every good work, a zeal to the honour of the Lord their Creator, and a fervent holy defire to anfwer the end of their creation : and as there is a regulating fpring to a watch, fo alfo there mould be the true knowledge of God and of them- felves experienced in his light, to preferve from going too faft, knowing, by his hea- venly inftruction, that no wifdom, zeal, ftrength, or ability, will enable to do the Lord's work to his honour and the good of man, but that which God giveth : and in order that a watch may anfwer the end in- tended by its maker, there is a vifible face, and hands, to difcover the inward motion, thereby /hewing time; fo it is needful that a L 2 man i 4 8 THE LIFE AN D TRAVELS man mould be a co-worker with the fpirit and gift of grace in his inward part, that others, beholding the light thereof, might be taught to glorify God, and in his light fo to number his days, and walk in his fear, as to die in his favour. As a zeal for the caufe of truth, and a fear of falling iliort of duty, may at times prompt man to rum on too faft, it is needful that he mould wait in humble reverence to feel the love of God, and the influence of that knowledge and wifdom which is from above, and expe- rienced by thofe who are fpiritual, that the end of all their labour may be in the fpirit of meeknefs to reftore thofe who are over- taken in error. And that men may ever dwell in that which gives ability to labour with fuccefs in the church of Chrift, it is need- ful that their minds mould be enclofed in the bofom of truth, in humble retirement, to be preferved from the various tumults, cumbers, cares, and temptations of the world, which would otherwife clog their minds, and deprive them of their true fpi- ritual fenfe and motion : and fo in a watch it is needful that all the inward parts, which are fo curious, mould be inclofed from damps, vapours, motes, and duft, otherwife it would thereby be deprived of its motion, and become ufelefs for keeping time. My intent in this relation is to mew the infinite condefcenlion of him whofe mercy is over all his worksite inftrucl: the chil- dren OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 149 ciren of men, each as it were in his own tongue, or language fui table to his under- flanding ; the man being by trade a watch- maker, and feemed to be tenderly reached, and we parted in a degree of fweetnefs. It was the Lord's doing, and marvellous to me, praifed be his holy name for ever ! Being clear of Kendal, we took leave of friends in much affection, and went to a general meeting at Brigflatts, in Yorkshire, and to vifit our friend Alice Alderfon, who had been on a religious vifit in our country, with Margaret Cowpland, whom we had before feen at Kendal, where me lives. Alice was glad to fee us, and we found her tender in fpirit, and ftrong in her love to friends. After attending meetings at Ra- vonftonedale and Garfdale, we rode to our friend John Burton's, who, with his com- panion, William Backhoufe, had alfo been in our country on a religious vifit. We re- joiced to fee him, and were comforted by his grave converfation and conduct. We then went to a meeting at Dent, which was large, and favoured by the overshadowing of truth in a good degree, in the loving kindnefs of our Lord, who is worthy of all praife for ever ! Then taking feveral meet- ings in Lancafhire, and tarrying two days with our friend William Backhoufe, which was an acceptable reft to us, the weather being very cold, the ways bad, and we weary, we came to- Lancafter, and had an L 3 opportunity 150 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS opportunity of vifiting our friend Lydia Lancafter, who feveral years paft had vifited our country. Her faculties of mind and love to friends appeared frefh and ftrong. From thence, attending divers other meet- ings in that county, we went to our friend Samuel Fothergill's, at Warrington, where we continued from the fecond to the four- teenth of the firft month (new-ftile) 1752: he and Sufanna his wife being tender and kindly affectionate, we were refrefhed in their company ; having feveral meetings in that town and at Penketh, fome whereof were made precious by the ownings of truth. After many other meetings in this, county and Yorkfhire, we reached Rich- mond, and had a meeting with friends there ; and next morning fet forward with a guide far Mafham, in order to attend a meeting there, of which friends had pre- vious notice. .The diftance was near fixteen miles, the days fhort, and roads deep and miry. After we had rode five or fix miles, I defired our guide to mend his pace, fear- ing we mould be too late : a little further we came to a place where the roads parted, and he taking the left hand I became uneafy, and afked him if he perfectly knew the way ; he faid, he thought he did : I let him know my being in doubt about it, and de- fired him to enquire of a man we faw in a field at a diftance, but he rode on yet fafter; when I told him, that I was perfuaded we had OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 151 had almoft turned our backs on the way we fhould go, at which he fmiled. When we had gone about a mile, feeing a man by the way fide at work, I afked him if that was the way to Mafham ; he replied, Nay ; for you have left it^ and muft go back, un- lefs your horfes can leap over ditches very well, you may then fave a mile ; and, point- ing over a field, mewed us a moor, on the other lide whereof our right road was. Our guide fet forward, we followed with fome difficulty over the ditches, and he rode on a gallop, and foon left us. My mind inclined me to vary from his courfe, and efpying a gate, called to him, pointing to it, and proceeded thither, on which he turned and came up, but faid he believed we were wrong. I let him know that my mind was eafy to go that way, and in a while we came into a road at a publick houfe, which he knew to be right': fo we juft reached the meeting in time, which, through divine favour, was profitable and edifying. I men- tion this pafTage with no other view than to encourage friends to be inward in their minds, and to regard the fecret fenfe which the pure fpirit of truth fometimes gives on particular occafions : for want of an inward ilillnefs, and attention thereunto, the way is often mi fled in more refpedts than one. At Mamam we lodged at the houfe of John Kelden, who related to me fomething that palTed between a knight of the {hire L 4 and 152 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS and one of his tenants, a member of our religious lociety, in manner following, viz. Landlord. So, John, you are buly. Tenant. Yes; my landlord loves to fee his tenants bufy. Landlord. But, John, where was you, that you was not at your quarterly-meeting at York the other day ? I law mofl of your ftaunch friends there, but you I miffed. -f- Tenant. Why, thou knowefl I have a curious landlord, who loves to fee his te- nants thrive, and pay their rent duly, and I had a good deal in hand that kept me at home. Landlord. Kept you at home ! You will neither thrive nor pay the better for neg- lecting your duty, John. Tenant. Then I perceive my landlord was at quarterly-meeting. How didfl thou like it ? Landlord. Like it ! I was at one meet- ing, and faw what made my heart ache. Tenant. What was that ? Landlord. Why, the drefs of your young folks : the men with their wigs, and young women with their finery, in imitation of fafhions. And I thought I would try an- other meeting : fo next day I went again, and then I concluded there was little differ- ence but the bare name between us, whom t The affixes are held at York always at (he time of the quarterly-meeting. you ' ; j?S , if OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 153 you call the world's people, and fome of you ; for you are imitating of us in the love and fafhions of the world as fail as you can. So that I faid in my heart, thefe people do want a Fox, a Penn, and a Barclay among them : fo he turned from his tenant. I thought it would be a pity that the true and folid remark of this great man mould be loft, understanding that it was rather ex- prefled in pity than derifion. From Mamam we proceeded to vifit many other meetings in this county, in the courfe whereof we called to fee good old John Richardfon, who was flrong in fpirit, though feeble in body, and nearly blind through age, being about eighty-feven. And find- ing a draught to vifit friends once more at Scarborough, we were there on firft day the fifteenth of the third month, and had peace in my own mind, having done what I thought was my duty. But, from a fenfe of the - prevalence of pride, which had oc- cafioned a great poverty, as to true religion, among the profeflbrs qf truth in that place, 1 left them with an aching heart, and went on our journey, in order to attend the quar- terly-meeting at York, taking meetings in our way at Pickering, Thornton in the Clay, and Hewby. The feveral fittings of this quarterly-meeting were in the main fa- tisfadtory \ but not having time fully to clear myfelf, I did not leave York quite eaiy. Af- Jer this, having meetings at Clifford, Leeds, Gilderfome, i 5 4 Tfos LIFE AND TRAVELS Gilderfome, Bradford, Rawden, Afquith, Farfield, Keighley, Skipton, and Lotherf- dale, we rode to Settle, and then to attend the quarterly- meeting at Lancafter, which began on the fifth day of the week with a meeting of minifters and elders, and was comfortable. Next day was the meeting for publick worfhip, and the difcipline, where- in we were made to rejoice together, and ,praife the name of the Lord, who is worthy for ever ! We went home with our friend Wil- liam Backfroufe, and fo to Kendal quarterly- meeting, which was fatisfadlpry, and very large ; then fet out for the quarterly- meeting for Cumberland, held at Carlifle, which began with a meeting of minifters and elders : next day were held two pub- lick meetings, and the day following a meet^ ing for the difcipline, which ended in the afternoon with another for worfhip : and going home with Chriilopher Wilfon, we were at a good meeting at Pardftiaw Hall on firft day. My mind had been for fome time drawn towards Ireland, and being defirous to lofe no time, we went to Whitehaven, feveral veffels being there nearly laden with coals for Dublin ; but on viewing the mips, ac- companied by feveral friends from Grayf- othen, I had no freedom to take a paflage in either of them, at which I was much ftraitened, and inwardly turning my mind, Ireland was hid from my view ; and going to OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 155 to the houfe of a friend, we fat a while ftill, and I had a freedom to let friends know that I had no profpect but that the veffels might go their voyage with fafety, and did not decline a pafTage on that account - y hut feeling a full flop in my mind, had no free- dom to proceed any where at prefent, fave to return with our friends John and Han- nah Harris to Highfield. We therefore re- turned with them, and attended PardmawlHall monthly-meeting, where I had freedom to propofe that friends would enter on the fervice of via" ting families. They informed me that fome years before they had nomi- nated friends for that fervice, but meeting with fome difcouragement, they had not performed it : and being about to turn over the book, to fee who were then appointed, confidering it was a long time fince, they concluded it was better to proceed to a new choice, but feemed at a ftand about naming friends then. I had a fingular freedom to let them know, that although I was a Gran- ger, I could point out fome who I believed would anfwer the fervice, if they would fubmit to it. After a folid paufe, a friend faid, as our friend has the matter before him, I am free that he mould choofe for us i to which I replied, that being a flran- ger to their members, one might be chofen who was under fome impediment, and therefore it would be fafer for the meeting $0 choofe; but perceiving they were at a lofs, 1 56 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS lofs, I pointed out a few friends in great fear, with a fingle eye to the fenfe which I {lid believe truth gave me, and the clerk took their names. A friend faid he believed it was the truth which had made the choice. I then mentioned, that if they could foon enter upon the fervice, I found a freedom to accompany them therein, if friends had unity therewith, which feveral exprefled. Some women friends being alfo named by their meeting to join in it, before the fer- vice was much proceeded in, a heavy con- cern came upon me, from a fecret fenfe I had that one of them was under the cenfure of fome, by which I feared her fervice would be laid wade, unlefs it could be re- moved; and although I had no intimation, of any thing of the kind from any perfon, I .became heavily exercifed, and at length requefted a friend to invite the man and his wife to dine with him, who I apprehended were uneafy with the woman, and I defired her and her hulband to come to the fame houfe in the afternoon, who accordingly came. Thus the parties being met unex- pectedly to each other, I was humbled un- der the weight attending my mind, and no others being prefent, except the friend and his wife at whofe houfe we were, I ventured to let them know the exercife I had been under fome days, from an apprehenfion of a difference, or prejudice, fubfifting between them, which, if not removed, would de- OF JOHN CHURCHMAN, 157 vour like fire; by which I believed they were already much affedted ; but as I had not received information, more or lefs, I might be miftaken, and did not defire they fhould fay any thing on the fubjecl: before me, but honeftly confer on it between themfelves firft, and if it was fo, remove the caufe; and if nothing was amifs, then to let me know, that I might be warned to be more cautious in future. Upon which I left them-, and walked by myfelf about an hour, when the man of the houfe called me in, and they told me that I was not mif- taken, for that there had been an hardnefs fubfifting for fome time, which they hoped was now done away. But when, in the courfe of our vifit, we came to the houfe of the friends who had been uneafy, I felt it as frefh as before, and told them I did be- lieve they were not eafy that the friend mould go on in the fervice. To which one of them anfwered, If (he judges herfelf to be clear, and others are eafy, I have no ob- jection. Whereupon I afked what others were meant; the man replied, Her huiband and relations. And as the matter refled upon me, it appeared that endeavours ought to be ufed for reconciliation before we could with fatisfadtion proceed on our vifit; and, believing that the Lord had fecretly en- gaged me, I hoped he would accompany, and blefs the labour, for the reftoration of peace ; which in' a few days he was pleafed to i 5 8 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS to accompliih, and then we proceeded more chearfully; and I think I may fay that the Lord was with us, to the praife of his great eternal name, who is worthy for ever ! We vifited the families of friends in Whitehaven, Broughton,Cockermouth, Pard- fhaw Hall, Eaglesrield, and Grayfothen, and others remote, and had feveral profitable publick meetings in thofe towns, and places adjacent. Having fpent about feven weeks within the verge of Pardfhaw Hall monthly- meeting, and finding my mind clear, we went to Whitehaven, and took pafTage in the mip Globe, James Grafon mafter, for Ireland, on the eighth of the fixth month, (1752) N. S. and parting with our dear friends in much love, fet fail about the fifth hour in the evening, and landed at Dublin on the eleventh of the fame month, and were kindly received at the houfe of Samuel Judd; as I was going to which, this fecret hint was prefented to my mind, ' Live re- ' tired, and be not fuddenly acquainted with * any man.' After dinner our kind land- lord faid, I do not well in that I have not informed friends of your arrival : they will blame me. I anfwered, Let us firft know that we are here; we are juft come from fea, and are weary : for we had a trouble- fome pafTage by contrary winds and heavy rains, John Pemberton, my companion, having been very fea-fick, and myfelf a lit- tle fo. The next day we attended Sycamore- Alley OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 159 Alley meeting, where we had the company of Sufanna Hatton, who had been in Ame- rica with Ruth Courtney. We were at eight meetings in Dublin, alfo at a monthly- meeting, and a quarterly-meeting for their young people ; in which I was deeply con- cerned, under coniideration of the prevalence of pride and the world's famions, which was declared to them in the love of truth : and the Lord was pleafed to favour feveral of the meetings by his heavenly prefence, to the praife of his holy name. Leaving this city, we went towards the North. At Drogheda there is a meeting- houfe belonging to friends, but they are there fo declined, we could not have a meet- ing to fatisfadlion. We therefore went on to a meeting with a few friends at Rathfri- land, in the county of Down, then to Moy- allon, where the meeting was comfortable; and on firft day had two meetings at Lur- gan, in the county of Armagh, in which place pride and a worldly fpirit much pre- vails. Then taking meetings at Newton, Lifburn, Hilliborough, and Ballinderry, in the county of Antrim, the laft of which was a large good meeting, we had one at Antrim, where the favour of truth feems much loft by the few profelTors there. We then parTed on to the Grange meeting, which was very dull, through the prevalence of a worldly dark fpirit ; and from thence to a meeting at Bally nacree, and fo to Colerain, where 160 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS where we had a fatisfactory opportunity with fome of the town's people, who came to the meeting out of curiofity: but I felt no freedom to exprefs the fenfe I had of the ftate of friends then - t and as the meet- irtg broke up, I ftepped to a young woman, a friend, who lived near the meeting-houfe, and defired her to ftep forward, and turn the few friends in there, as fhe knew them, and let the others go by, which fhe readily performed. When we were all fat down round the room, it foon felt to me that if I delivered my concern in general terms, the Intended end would not be anfwered : be- ing in pain for their good, and clofe matters fpoken might be taken by fuch to whom leafl belonged, and being greatly humbled, I was defirous to be rightly instructed (not knowing their names) to fpeak to them fe- parately. The Lord, who never fails thofe who humbly trufl in him, mewed me where and with whom to begin, and fo to the next, and mine eye being fixed on the per- fon to whom I directed my fpeech, each knew what was delivered to them in parti- cular; and I hope the opportunity was be- neficial, for I had great peace. When the friends were gone, 1 afked the young wo- man, who feemed in fome furprize, what ailed her; fhe faid, that feveral were very exactly told their condition, and fhe feared they would judge her for an^informer. I told her, fhe need not matter that, as fhe knew herfelf OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 161 herfelf innocent. I mention this occurrence as a remarkable kindnefs from the merciful Lord to the children of men, for their help and inftruclion, and that his fervants may be encouraged to wait upon him for in- flr action to difcharge their duty as faithful flewards in his fight, who knows the fecrets of all hearts, and taught his fervant in old time to know the wife of Jeroboam, though me feigned herfelf to be another woman. Blefled and magnified be his holy name, who is over all, worthy for ever, and ever ! Then taking meetings at Tobberhead, Charlemont, and Ballyhagan, we attended the men's meeting at Lurgan, having a great defire to fit with friends there in the ma- nagement of their difcipline, which was adjourned to this time at my requeft. It began with a meeting for worfhip, men and women being generally together ; at the conclufion of which, the men went into the room where the meeting for bufinefs was ufually held, when, after fitting fome time in filence, a leading friend faid, ' This ' is only an adjourned meeting,' and bid the clerk enter it, and they might adjourn to the ufual time to do their bufinefs, when it would be more felecl:. And the meet- ing fitting a while without proceeding any way, I afked them what was meant by the words, 'more felecl:,' and further (aid, if any perfons were prefent that had not a right to fit there, they mould withdraw, they knew M their i62 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS their own members : if they meant the friend who came with us, he was a neigh- bouring friend, and an elder; and as for myfelf, I efteemed myfelf a proper member of their meeting, as I came to vifit them with the concurrence of my brethren at home, and had certificates from them, wherein I was recommended to friends in Europe, and elfewhere; and if I did any thing among them worthy of cenfure, I fhould fubmit to their dealing, and there- fore defired them to go on with their buli- nefs; for I had come thither with a concern to fee how the affairs of the church went on. So without more debate, or much re- ply, they proceeded ; and, to my furprize, things of diforder had lain feveral years without proper dealing with various offend- ers ; fuch as drinkers of healths, fome that had been at cockfightings and races, and one or more marriages out of the order of truth : which gave me an opportunity to clear myfelf fully of the concern that had for fome days lain with weight on my mind, which I believe was acceptable to fome fe- cretly pained friends, however contrary to fome others. So that I left the place with a peaceful mind, and thankful to the Lord, who had given me an innocent boldnefs to affert my right of memberfhip : for I believe if we had not been there, the meeting would have been thought felecl:. We OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 163 We then went to Ulfler Province-meeting at Ballyhagan, which held two days. The elders and other concerned friends here in- quire into the ftate of things among their members in the province, and it was in the main a fatisfactory meeting. From hence we went fouthward, taking meetings at Caftlefhane, Coothill, Ballihais, and Old Caflle, and to Ballimurry, in Connaught, having a meeting in a barn at Gailey with a. few friends, it being the only one kept up in that province, except at Athlone, which we like wife attended, and came to James Clibborn's, at the Moat of Granoge, where we alfo had a meeting; although I had travelled every day for more than a week with a fever on me, and had eaten lit- tle, occaiioned, as I thought, by a cold taken by laying in damp beds, and was now very unwell, but fat the firft day meeting. Next day my illnefs became very violent, fo that friends thought I mould lay my body there, and fent for an apothecary, who let me blood, which fomewhat allayed the fever, and I fell into a deep, when I began to bleed again, which brought me very weak, that I was awakened at midnight with great drops of fweat on rny face, and ficknefs ; and calling my companion, who watched with me, we found that I had bled much, the orifice in my arm being very large, and not carefully bound up. My kind land- lord and his wife, being anxious about me, M 2 had 164 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS had prevailed with the apothecary to lodge in the houfe, who being called to me, on his coming, I defired him to peel a blad- der, and apply a thin piece of it, about as broad as a halfpenny, on the wound. He alked for what ; I told him he would fee : and when it was applied, I requefled him to hold his finger on the piece over the ori- fice, fo as to flop the blood, until the plaif- ter dried and ftuck, which it foon did, and it bled no more : he faid that he had not feen the like. I mention this for the fake of others; for the bladder flicks as the blood under it dies, and will flop the bleed- ing of almofl any wound. Next morning a graduate phyfician of the town came to vifit me, and feeling my pulfe, I afked him what he thought of me. He making no anfwer, I faid, be not afraid to tell me, for I am not afraid to hear. He replied, ' that * is happy for you;' by which I fuppofed he thought I mould not recover. He viewed my fpittle, and faid I was in a deep con- fumption, and propofed my taking a vomit. I told him that I had not taken one many years : befides, as he judged my lungs were inflamed, a moderate purge was better; at which he replied, with an air of banter, ' You are an odd patient : come, you mall * be phyfician, and I will be apothecary/ I took him at his word, and he fent me a purge, which gave me fome relief. He vi- fited me daily for a week, and could hardly believe OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 165 believe I fhould recover, though I told him I believed that I fhould. He flill judged my cough to be confumptive, and at length told me, if I did recover, to go home as foon as I could ; for that the Lord was more merciful than to require fuch an one as I was to travel as I did ; and that I had already acted as a madman, to travel fo long time with that fever before I lay by. I afked him, if he was matter of a veflel at fea, which had fprung a leak that could not be flopped, what he would do. He replied, endeavour to make to the next port, for a dry dock, to unlade, and fearch out the leak. Why, doctor, faid I, this is juft my cafe : I faw no place to lay by until I came hither 5 at which he laughed, and wifhed me well. I think I never was reduced to fo weak a flate in fo fhort a time, which might be occa- fioned by my great lofs of blood; but the Lord was pleafed to heal me, that I ga-p thered ftrength to admiration, and on firfl day fat the meeting, which was comfortable, and continuing to recover, though not fit to travel, I tarried until fourth day, and attended their monthly-meeting; and under- ilanding they had been endeavouring to vifit families, but were backward in beginning, I told friends that I had a freedom to accom- pany them in the work for a few days, for their encouragement, and we accordingly went with them to a few places to good fatisfaction ; and friends received ftrength to M 3 go 1 66 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS go on with the fervice. Then taking an affectionate leave of our kind landlord, James Clibborn, and his wife, who is grand- daughter to Robert Barclay, the apologift, we went to meetings at Birr, Kilconnermoor, Camell, Killcommon, Clonmell, Youghall, and fo to Cork on the firft day of the week, where we alfo attended the men's meeting for difcipline, and vifited the women's meet- ing, which were both to fome good fatif- fadtion. Then going to Ban don, we re- turned tp an appointed meeting at Cork, for parents and their children ; and having ilrength given me to clear myfelf, it was, I hope, profitable to many, being a large meeting. We then went to Malo, and had a feafonable opportunity with a family of friends. Thence to the province-meeting for Munfter, held at Limerick, the publick and felecl: fittings of which, and for the difcipline, ended comfortably. And after attending the week-day meeting, we went to a meeting at Rofs, and returned to Lime- rick, and being unwell with a cold, W T C tarried their meetings on firft day, which were large and fatisfaclory, and in the even- ing had one with a fick friend. Being clear, and taking three meetings in our way, we proceeded to Leinfter province-meeting, at Mountmelick, which began on the fixth day of the week with a meeting of minifters, the next day for worfhip and the difcipline, and pn firft day morning was a large and precious OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 167 precious meeting. In the afternoon the town's people came in, and it was a good fatisfactory meeting, though not fo large, friends being moftly gone home. We had a meeting next day at Tullamoor, and return- ing to Mountmelick, had a fatisfadtory one with the children in the fchool of James Gough. After the week-day meeting in this town, we went to Ballicarrol, Ballina- kil and Cooperhill, having a meeting at each ; then to Catherlough monthly-meeting on firfl day, and the next day to A thy; then to Ballitore, which was, through Divine goodnefs attending, made profitable : and we had alfo a fatisfactory meeting with the fcho- lars in Abraham Shackleton's fchool. After a meeting at Newton, we went to Samuel Watfon's, at Kilconner, whofe wife (late Abigail Bowles) had been on a religious vifit in America feveral years paft. She was now near her end, but fenfible, and in a good frame of fpirit, and greatly rejoiced to fee us, and we were mutually comforted in a fenfe of the Lord's prefence, for which his holy name was praifed. After a meeting here, and another at Catherlough, we went to Waterford, and fat with friends in their morning, afternoon, and evening meetings on the firft day; in all whfch, having cleared myfelf honeftly, my fpirit mourned under a fenfe of formality among the people, and a deadnefs to the pure inward life of reli- gion. Then taking meetings at Rofs, Lambs- M 4 town, 168 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS town, Wexford, Randals-mills, or Caflle- fow, Cooladine, and feveral other places, we came to Wicklow, at which meeting many foldiers attended, who behaved well, and truth owned the fervice in a good de- gree. I have obferved where the foldiers came into our meetings, they were an awe to the rabble, and loofe people, who are fometimes apt to be rude. From hence we went to Dublin, in order to attend the na- tional half-year's-meeting, and were kindly received by our old landlord, Samuel Judd, and his family. Leinfler province-meeting began on fe- cond day, the lixth of the eleventh month, both for worfhip and difcipline, and on third day the national meeting, which held four days : the feveral fittings thereof being in general attended with a fenfe of Divine goodnefs ; and the teftimony of truth ran ftrong againft hypocrify, covetoufnefs, liber- tinifm, and pride among the profeflbrs there- of, but in a confolatory ilream to the hum- ble and contrite children of the family ; in a thankful fenfe whereof the namt of the Lord was praifed, who is worthy for ever and ever I We tarried a few days longer with friends in Dublin, and then went to meetings at Baltibois, Timah*a, Rathagon, and Eden- derry, and a religious fitting at John Pirn's family at Nurney. Then returning to Eden- derry, attended their monthly- meeting, where having a concern to vilit fome families of friends, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 169 friends, we went to moft of them in that town, and to the houfe of a widow in the country, where we had a good opportunity with her and her children. I afked the friend who accompanied us, whether there was any other friend's houfe to which we had not been, He faid he thought not; but my mind had a draught to fome houfe, and I pointed toward it. He then faid he believed he knew where. So we went to the place, and the family being called toge- ther, I enquired whether there was not an- other belonging to the houfe, and was told there was. As foon as he came in, I knew it was the man whom my mind was concerned to vifit; and fomething I had to exprefs reached and tendered him very much; he being exceeding wild and faihionable, and did not love to attend religious meetings, but truth now reached him. On the firfl day following I faw him at Edenderry meet- ing, where the vilitation feemed to be re- newed to him. I afterwards heard that he continued to be fober and thoughtful, and I was thankful to the Lord that he was pleafed to condefcend in mercy to gather 'the out- cafl of Ifrael. Being clear of this place, I returned to Dublin ; and having a concern on my mind to vifit the families of fome who made profeflion of the truth, but were diforderly in their conduct, we began that fervice, being accompanied by feveral friends, and the Lord was pleafed to own the work. During j 7 o THE LIFE AND TRAVELS During our ftay we were careful to attend all the meetings in this city for wormip and difcipline; one of which was a quar- terly-meeting for the youth, in which many were tendered by the love of God, through Jefus Chrifl, our Lord and Saviour. We vifited about fixty families, in moft whereof the Lord was pleafed to favour with autho- rity to fet the teitimony of truth over the heads of the corrupt, diforderly profeflbrs, and to influence with understanding to di- vide the word and counfel of truth to the different ftates of thofe we vifited : in an humble fenfe whereof, let my foul obey and adore him, who is alone worthy for ever .' As I apprehended the women's meeting to be flack of doing their part of duty, as true helps in the exercife of the difcipline, and a proper care over the flock and family of the Lord, a weighty concern attended me to exprefs in writing my fenfe of what was the proper bufinefs belonging to wo- men's meetings, which I mewed to the men friends, and had their concurrence to lay it before the women's meeting, in order for their encouragement and practice in the wifdom of truth, and it was afterwards fent to the women's meetings throughout the na- tion. The veffel in which we came to Ireland; being ready to fail, and the matter defirous of our company to return with him, I felt fo clear and eafy that I intended to go j but when. OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 17! when he fent us word to come on board, I was more inclined to ftay that day, and went to meeting, being firft day, an4 he failed ; but meeting with contrary winds and dark weather, was obliged to put back into Dublin harbour, after about a week's fatigue. My being withheld from embark- ing I thought was a remarkable kindnefs and favour from my great and good Mafter ; praifed be his name ! We had afterwards feveral good meetings, in fome of which it became my concern to recommend filence by example j of which they ftood in much need. And on the twenty- third of the fir ft month (1753) after having travelled in Ireland thirteen hundred and fifteen miles, and had one hundred and thirty-four meet- ings, beiides many family vifits, feeling my mind to be quite clear, we went on board a fhip of Whitehaven, Allen Wilfon mafter, having in much love taken leave of our friends ; and after a fhort, but ftormy rough pafTage of about twenty-three hours, arrived at Whitehaven, with hearts humbly thankful to the Lord who had prefer ved us : the maf- ter faying, that he had not known the like for twelve years, although he had failed tween the two ports very constantly. Next day after our arrival, our friend John Har- ris, of Highfield, with whom we had left our horfes, brought them to us, and we went home with him, and vifited the meetings in the neighbourhood, feveral of which, particularly the laft, at PardfhawHall, were 172 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS were large and precious opportunities. And I thought I could perceive that my former painful labours among them had been blef- fed, for which I was truly thankful to the holy head of the church and matter of the aflemblies of his people. From thence we went to Lorton-hall, and had an evening meeting with the people of the town, to which came the prieft, and moft of his hear- ers ', and although the craft and conduct of the hirelings were much fet forth, all was quiet, and it ended well. From thence we went to Kendal, and {laying a general meeting there, proceeded to divers others in Yorkshire, and Lanca- fhire, and to one we had appointed at Coin, where are no members of our fociety ; and though a poor dark town in refpecl to reli- gion, the people behaved foberly, and many were tendered by the gentle, yet powerful reaches of heavenly goodnefs; and I may fay, that in riding through fome towns in England, where no friend dwelt, I felt a fecret falutation of love to the inhabitants, though as a feed yet ungathered; but my prefent bufinefs in general was to the chil- dren of the family, that when it mall pleafe the Lord to open the eyes of others to be- hold Zion, no {tumbling- block might ap- pear to offend the beholders, or dim her heavenly beauty. From hence paffing to Halifax, we had a large open meeting there, and divers others iu OP JOHN CHURCHMAN. 173 in Yorkfliire, until we came to our friend John Haflam's, at Hanfworth-Woodhoufe ;; then to Sheffield, where we vifited fome fa- milies to our fatisfa&ion j and after attend- ing two meetings in Derbyfhire, returned to John Haflam's, and again to Sheffield, and fat their morning meeting on firft day, and in the afternoon attended the burial of Ellen Atwick, a friend of good repute, to which many people came, and I had a fa- vourable opportunity. Being then clear, I went to Blythe, in Nottinghamshire, and had a meeting, and feveral in other towns this week, and reached Rawcliff, in York- mire, on firft day. On the night before I had a dream, which much aiFedted me. ' I thought I heard a kind of melody and finging at my left hand, whereupon I faid, What do ye rejoice at ? Which continu- ing, I faid, Your finging is fome what like David's rejoicing before the ark, but I fee it not : and I heard a voice on my right, faying, the ark is in the land of the Phi- liftines, where it was taken through the wickednefs of the priefts and fins of the people ; who removed the ark from Shi- loh, to ftrengthen them in battle/ Where- upon I awoke, and was under fome exercife for a time, concluding it was ominous, but faw no further, until we went to meeting in the forenoon, where I foon heard a kind of tuneful fighing, which kept in- creating ; and turning my head, to difcover from ,74 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS from whence it came, found it to be at my left hand. After a while a perfon flood up, and fpake a few fentences of extraordinary enjoyments which were to be felt* My mind was pained, and after he fat down I flood up, and faid, What are ye doing ? and what do you feel to occaiion this rejoicing ? and mould have proceeded to have told them my thoughts, but inftantly my dream came into my mind, and fo with little addition fat down very forrowful. After the meet- ing I went to dinner, but could not eat much, or be chearful. At the afternoon meeting we had the fame tune, until my fpirit was afflicted; but labouring to know that quiet which is not eafily difturbed, I received flrength in a loving frame of mind to inform them, that I feared they were miftaken in their ftates and conditions, for that death reigned, and it was rather a time of mourning: and as truth arofe in fome good degree, that floating formal fea became dried up. And in the evening having the company of the chief finger among them, I had a fingular freedom fimply to relate my dream to him, with a defire that he might examine whether the ark enclofing the pure teftimony was preferved fafe amongft them ; which ihut up further converfation. In a few days after, an intimate friend alked me how I fared there j I repeated to him my dream, and he told me it was very fignifi- cant, for that a withering had taken place in OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 175 in that meeting, and that perfon had feveral children that were married to fuch that did not profefs with us ; and being treated with as a parent, he faid it might be a means of in creating the meeting, if thofe they had married came to meeting with them, and difcouraged friends from dealing with them, left it mould prevent them. Then taking a meeting at Selby, we pro- ceeded to the quarterly-meeting at York, which continued two days, and was a good meeting. Here we met my brother, Wil- liam Brown, to our mutual comfort, after a feparation of nineteen months. We foon parted again, he going towards Lancafter, and we to feveral meetings in Yorkmire, and fome in Lincolnfhire. In fome places I obferved the form to remain, and life to be wanting, and in others the profeflbrs of truth are too generally declined from both. True life gives birth to a true form, but the mere form will never produce the life of truth. From hence we went to Retford and Mansfield, in Nottinghamfhire, and at the laft town had two meetings, one of which was with friends by themfelves ; for it did not always appear convenient to deliver too publickly thofe things which tended to the reproof of fome diforderly walkers in the family, left it mould rather harden than reftore and heal; efpecially where their con- dud: did not occafion open reproach. Then taking a meeting at Broughton, we went to Netting- 176 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS Nottingham, and had three meetings there on firft day, and the next at Oxham, with a few friends, who were glad thereof, being fometimes miffed by travellers. The day following we had an appointed meeting at Nottingham, to fatisfa&ion. In this place they are troubled with fome ranters, who force themfelves into meetings for difcipline. Friends were exhorted to keep up the tefti- mony of truth in the meek humble fpirit thereof, in which its dominion will ftand for ever. We then fpent fome time in vi- fiting many meetings in Leicestershire, tak- ing one at Oakham, in Rutlandfhire, where fome innocent friends live; and I think it is the only meeting of friends in that county. At Bofwell-ftreet we had a meeting with fome who had been lately convinced, but had not yet known a true eftablifhment in humbly waiting for the power of truth, to give a folid growth in pure religion. The fame evening we had a meeting at Coventry, to good fatisfaction j and the week follow- ing came to Dudley, in Worcefterfliire, where we lodged at James Payton's, whofe lifter Catharine was preparing to go on a religious vifit to America. Staying the meeting on firft day in Dudley, we went to divers others in this county and Warwick- mire, and came to Eaden, in Northampton- mire, at which meeting many people came, fome of whom were very unruly; but the power of truth prevailing, it ended quietly ; praifed OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 177 praifed be the Lord, who is all-fufficient for his own work! Viiiting feveral other meet- ings in this county, at one of them, held in an evening at Chipping-Norton, there Were many tender young people, to whom I felt a falutation in the love of truth ; but before I thought it fafe for me to Hand up, a young man, not much like a friend, flood up, and began to exhort them to be faith- ful in difcharging whatfoever the Lord re- quired of them, and how eminently he would be with, and qualify them for his work ; as though they were all appointed to enter upon fome extraordinary fervice. At which my mind was much grieved ; for I thought it would be more fuitable for them deeply to retire, and wait for the virtue of truth, and {Up of life, to experience a growth in grace and the knowledge of God, that they might be prepared to work out their own falvation. To exped: a young tree to pro- duce abundance of fruit, before the branches are come forth and fpread with ftrength to bear it, is not reafonable. The words ' fit * down' palled through my mind for fome time, and at length 1 fpoke them fo as for him to hear, which I perceived by a fmall flop he made. But going on again, I faid, Prithee, friend, fit down, which he did ; but I felt that my faying furprized the people, and perhaps offended fome, and that it would be in vain to deliver what was on my mind; fo expreffing a few fentences N only, 178 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS only, I fat down, and the meeting ended. I was informed by a friend at our lodgings, that he was one lately come from the Me- thodifts, which I before apprehended by his appearance. On going to bed, I was much concerned left it fhould hurt him, and deeply fought to know whether I had not fpoken to him in a felfifh fpirit, becaufe he had taken the time of the meeting ap- pointed on my account; and feeling love towards him, I prayed in fpirit that the Lord would be pleafed to preferve him from harm thereby, and that if I had done wrong, I might be made fenlible of rebuke for my future inftrudtion ; when in great calmnefs I underftood that it would not hurt him, fo I went into a quiet fleep. After a meeting next day at Sibbard, a woman friend, who was at the meeting the evening before, de- fired me to fend by her a meflage, or write to the young man, for me was fearful he would go beiide himfelf. I told her, that when I fpake to him I thought myfelf right, and knew what I was about ; but now I could not fee what to do at prefent, and to act by her direction was dangerous -, fo we parted, and in about a week after a friend let me know that there was no danger of his receiving hurt, but hoped he would be be- nefited. From hence, taking a few meetings on our way, we arrived at London on the fe- venth of the fixth month, and next day attended OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 179 attended Gracechurch-ftreet meeting, and in the following week the yearly -meeting, which was comfortable and folid; divers weighty matters being therein propofed for coniideration from feveral of the counties, which centred rather to benefit, though in the management of the affairs, there ap- peared in Tome a difpolition to oppofe what they thought to be new, notwithstanding the fame things appeared very expedient to others, who, from their profpecl: thereof, might urge their fentiments rather too ftrongly. A profpecl: of the Lord's fervants, truly difciplined, armed and qualified for his work, and of fuch who equip, arm, and arrange themfelves, and move by their own direction, was prefented to my view in a dream one night, during the time of this meeting. * I thought I beheld two armies fet in array again ft each other, one of them well armed with fwords and mufkets, the other had no formal weapons for their defence, but a charge given them by their ^general to keep their ranks, and gently to march directly forward, as he mould lead, no man reaching forth his own hand to defend himfelf. They joined in battle, and when one of the unarmed foldiers was borne hard upon by his opponent, he reached forth his hand at arm's length, when a fword took off one of his fingers, and the blood fprinkled on feveral of his fellow foldiers j whereupon, knowing the N 2 ' orders 180 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS ' orders given, I cried out, If that hand ' had not been fo ftretched out, this wound ' would not have been received/ and fo I awakened ; and on the morrow was fully convinced, that in tranfacting the affairs of truth, the honour of God (hould be our only view, with a fingle eye to his direction, (and felf made of no reputation) which will be a mield againft all reflections and perfonal cenfures. For it fo happened, that a valu- able zealous friend, being ftrongly reflected on, as being a prejudiced party, and being a little warmed thereby, made an over- hafty, and perhaps too warm a reply, which is apt to ftir up warmth in thofe who de- pend on no other guard than their own ar- mour, and with their own ftrength ufe a felfim weapon. By this unguarded reply, the friend brought a reproof on himfelf and fome others, that were united in the caufe of truth. The victory belongs to the Lamb for ever, who when he was fpit up- on and reviled, did not again revile. After flaying in London, and attending the Peel-meeting on firft day, and the meeting of minifters and elders on fecond day morning, we went to Chelmsford, and refled a day or two with our friend John Griffith, attended their week-day meeting, and a general meeting at Kelvedon, and proceeded to the yearly-meeting at Col- chefter, which held three days, and was a time of divine favour. Then going to Ipf- wich, OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 181 wich, and to a monthly-meeting at Wood- bridge, we there continued on firft day, and on the next began their yearly -meeting, which held until the fourth day of the week, in all eight fittings, fome whereof were large and very good. No praife to him that willeth, or to him that runneth, but to the Lord alone, that fheweth mercy. And there being a marriage at the meeting on fifth day, I had an open time, wherein I had to fet forth, that as man in the begin- ning was taken from the earth or clay, by the hand of the Lord, and a life breathed into him different from the earth, by which he became a living foul, and flood in the image and liberty of his Creator ; but fall- ing from the heavenly image, and liberty therein, through tranfgreilion, is now of the earth, earthly in his love and liberty ; fo he muft now be feparated from the earthly low eftate which flands in the tranf- greffion and death, by the regenerating word of power; and transformed by the renew- ing of his mind, will, and afFedlions, and placing them on heavenly objects. For as the potter feparateth the clay from the other earth, and tempers it by itfelf, before he formeth and maketh a veffel thereof, fb muft man, by ths operation of the heavenly hand, be tempered, wrought, prepared, and thereby freed from his own flubborn will, and made fubmimve to the heavenly will, that he may not be marred on the N 3 whed, i32 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS wheel, but bear the turning of the hea- venly hand, until he be formed a veffel to honour. But if the will of man does not become fubject, but ftands in rebellion, the Lord, who faid, " My fpirit mall not al- to ^ vifit your family, which was on the elc- ' venth inftant. I came an entire ilranger, * free from any information from man con- * cerning you ; but as foon as I came into ' the houfe, I felt the innocent life of * truth, and pure feed of the kingdom, op- * prefled in you. * Our dear Lord faid, " Learn of me, " for I am meek and low of heart." ' His ' Spirit in us, if we take heed thereto, will * teach us to be meek and low in heart. At ' this day his teaching is the fame, and will * remain to be fo to all his followers for * ever. O may you be humble, for it 19 * the humble that the Lord doth teach of * his ways -, and the meek he guides in * judgment : but the whole and felf-righ- * teous, who are wife in their own eyes, and * prudent in their own conceit, the Lord * will hide the myfleries of his pure wif- * dom from thefe; but to the babes, who * are truly changed, and born from above; ' and thofe fucklings, who are weaned from c the breafts of the world, and its wifdom, ' and are leaning on the breaft of Chrift, ' their beloved, defiring the fmcere milk of ' his word, that they may grow thereby; * unto thefe the Lord will reveal true know- Q 2 ' ledge, 196 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS ' ledge, and wifdom from above : and that ' wifdom is pure, peaceable, gentle, and ' eafy to be intreated ; and thofe that have ' the fame in poflemon, they have the fea- ' foning virtue of truth : they have fait in c themfelves, and are therefore preferved in ' peace and unity with the pure truth, and ' alfo one with another. Such profeffors, * who inwardly know, and receive the mofl ' holy faith, they know the fame to work ' in them by love, to the purifying of their * hearts. Thefe are Jews inward, circum- ' cifed in heart, true Ifraelites indeed, in * whom there is no guile : and their righ- * teoufnefs exceeds that of the Scribes and * Pharifees.' * I heartily wim that you may (in your ' old age) be concerned to know the life of * pure religion ; a fenfe of the want thereof * in your family, burthened my life whilft * I was in your houfe, which was the reafon * why I could not be free to eat and drink * with you. ( In order to difcharge myfelf towards ' you, have I written thefe few lines, de- ' firing that you may examine yourfelves, * and fee if there be not a caufe, and in ' the love of truth, which leads us to deal ' plainly one with another, ' I remain your real friend and well-wifher, ' JOHN CHURCHMAN.* Amfterdam, 23d of the - Sth month, 1753.' We OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 197 We continued with friends in this city, and attended their two meetings on firft day, and in the evening had an opportunity with feveral to fatisfa&ion ; for our love rather increafed. Next morning, feeling my mind clear of friends in Holland, I was eafy to return towards England, and, accompanied by feveral to the fkute, we took leave, and went to Turgow by water, from thence by waggon to Rotterdam, in all about forty- two miles. There are no members of our fociety left in this city. We went to fee the meeting-houfe, and had fome thoughts of having a meeting, but being the time of a great fair, which occafioned a concourfe of rude people, there was no profpei of having one to advantage. John Vanderwaarf, junior, came with us to Rotterdam, with whom we parted in much love early on fourth day morning, the twenty-ninth of the eighth month, and went on board the lame {hip which brought us hither ; it having made a voyage to Eng- land and back fince. We failed with a fair wind down the Maefe to the Briell before noon, when it becoming contrary, we lay at anchor until firft day morning, then pro- ceeding, we pafTed over the dangerous fands, and fo to fea, and arrived at Yarmouth about one the next day, and had a meeting with friends the fame evening. In this journey to Holland, we travelled by fea and land about five hundred miles. O 3 From 198 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS From Yarmouth we went in a chaife to Norwich, where friends were rejoiced to fee us, and we were thankful for our fafe; return. And being concerned to fpend fome more time among them in this city, we vi- fited a few families, and attended their monthly-meeting, alfo their two meetings on firft day, which were dull and heavy. The minds of the people being too much outward, I found it my place to recommend jQlence by example more than by words, in both thofe meetings. Next day, in company with other friends, I went to vilit Hannah Lucas, a fchool- miftrefs, who was newly convinced. She was in a low ftate of mind. Our vifit wa$ to mutual fatisfaction, being comforted to- gether. At their week-day meeting on third day, I had a feafonable time to difcharge my mind towards friends in that city, in which I was led to deal plainly with them. They are a loving people to ilrangers and each other, but there is a want of weightinefs of fpirit, and of a proper care in the exercife of the difcipline of the church. Before my going to Holland, I was at the mop of a barber in this city feveral times, to be fhaved : the fecond time I was there, I had to wait a while for my turn, he having no affiftantj and when others were gone out, he. told me he was forry I had to wait, and hoped he ihould have my cuftom : OP JOHN CHURCHMAN. cuftom : and that if I would come on Sa- turdays and Wednefdays, in the forenoon, I need not wait; but in the afternoon others came. I alked him what days in the week thofe were which he called Saturdays and Wednefdays : he feemed to wonder at my ignorance, but knew not how to tell me otherwife. " I faid, I do not read in the fcriptures of any days fo named: he replied, That is true. For what reafon, then, faid J, doft thou call them fo ? Becaufe it is a common cuftom, faid he. Suppofe, then, faid I, that we lived in a heathen country, among infidels, who worfhipped idols, Should we follow their cuiloms, becaufe common ? He replied, By no means. I then faid, if I have under/food rightly, the heathens gave the days of the week thofe names. I never heard that before, faid he ; pray for what reafon ? I anfwered, they worfhipped the fun on the firil day of the week, and named it after their idol, Sunday; the moon on the fecond day of the week, fo came Monday; and the other days after other idols, for they had many gods. Third day they called Tuefday, after their idol Tuifco; and after the idol Woden, fourth .day they called Wednefday ; and fifth day, after their idol Thor, they called Thurfday; from Friga, Friday ; and after Saturn they called the feventh day, Saturday. And as I ^believe in the only true God, and Jefus Chrift, whom he hath font, and expect eter- O 4 nal 2 oo THE LIFE AND TRAVELS rial life by no other name or power, I dar not, for confcience fake, own the gods of the heathen, or name a day after them ; but choofe the names which the days were called by when the Moil High performed his fe- veral works of creation, viz. firft, fecond, third, and fo on, which is fcriptural, moil plain, and eafily underftood. He feemed fomewhat affected with the information, and I defired him to enquire into the matter for himfelf, and not to think that I defigned to impofe upon him. The next time of my going to his mop, he ihewed me fome papers, whereon he had began to learn algebra, and afked me how I liked it. I faid, it might be ufeful to fome, but that I could take up grubbing, or follow the plough, without fludying alge- bra? as he might alfo fhave a man, &c. without it. Belides, I found it a more pro- fitable and delightful ftudy, to be quietly employed in learning the law of the Lord written in mine own heart, fo that I might walk before him acceptably. On my return from Holland to Norwich, a man ran to me in the flreet, putting a paper into my hand, and immediately left me, whom I foon found to be this barber. The letter contained an innocent, child-like acknowledgment to me for my freedom with him, as is before mentioned, in language rather too much mewing his value for me as an inftrument. And believing him to be reached OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 201 reached by the love of truth, and in mea- fure convinced of the principle thereof, I thought it beft to leave him in the Lord's hands for further inftruction, to learn by the immediate teachings of the Holy Spirit, that his love might be centered on the true beloved of fouls; for want whereof many are hurt, looking outward, and growing in. head knowledge, feeking the efteem and friendfhip of men, from whom we are to ceafe; his breath and life being flopped at the Lord's command. I mention this paflage with a view to ftir up my friends of the fame holy profeffion, to let their language in words be the real language of truth to all men, in purity of fpirit, and not to name the days of the week or months after the heathenim idola^ trous cuftoms, faying for excufe, that they to whom they fpeak do beft understand them, and it faves them any further expla- nation ; which excufe is far from proceed- ing from a difpofition apt to teach, and let- ting the light of truth mine as they ought. " Neither do men," faid our blefled In- ftructor, " light a candle, and put it under " a bufhel, but on a candleftick, and it " giveth light to all that are in the houfe," Matt. v. 21. Nor doth the Lord enlighten his candle, that is, the fpirit of man, with the pure knowledge of truth, that we mould cover it, either with an eafeful dif- pofition, to fave ourfelves trouble, or hide the THE LIFE AND TRAVELS the work thereof under the covering bumel of worldly faving care, after the gain and treafure of this world ; but that it may ftand on the candlefKck, and thereby crown thofe who are thus favoured with the holy light, that as a city fet on an hill they can- not be hid. The corrupt language of you to a finglc perfon, and calling the months and days by heathen names, are efleemed by fome to be little things ; but if a faithful teftimony in thefe little things was blefled in the instance before mentioned, even to the raifing an earnefl enquiry after the faving knowledge of God and his blefled Son, whom to know is eternal life; perhaps fuch who baulk their teftimony to the pure talent of truth given them to profit withal, may one day have their portion appointed with the wicked and flothful fervant ; fee Matt. xxv. 24, 25, &c. After the laft mentioned meeting I found my mind eafy to leave Norwich, a;id went xvith Richard Brewfter and wife to Wy- mondham that evening, and next day to Edmondibury; where, feeling an engage- ment of mind, we ftaid eight days, attend- ing their feveral meetings, and monthly- meeting, which is compofed of five parti- cular meetings; where, .under a fenfe of a forward formal miniflry, my foul mourned, and was clothed with forrow. The next day we had a precious meeting, and the fame OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 303 fame evening another with the minifters and folid friends, in which it became my con- cern to fet forth the care they ought to ex- ercife over each other, and how neceffary it was to deal plainly with thofe that did not keep their places. Truth owned us toge- ther, and I believe the opportunity will be remembered. My mind being drawn towards Wales, my companion, John Pemberton, who had been with me three years, having travelled together in much love and unity, inclining to go towards London, we parted in the fame love ; and I, accompanied by my kind friend Richard Brewfter, went to Henry Gray's, at Godmanchefter, in Huntingdon- fhire -, and the next day to Wellingborough, in Northamptonmire, and were at their two meetings on firft day, the twenty-third of the ninth month, which were heavy, for want of more faithful inv/ard labourers. That evening I had alfo a fitting with a fick friend. Next morning my friend Richard Brewfter returned homewards; and feveral friends coming to take leave of me, I had an op- portunity to remark to them the reafon that their meetings were fo dull and cloudy ; for I thought I clearly faw there was a negledl among them of putting the difcipline in practice, where dilbrders were evident ; and that this neglecl: had caufed them to fuffer, which would ilill continue and increafe, until 204 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS until they fet the teftimony of truth ovcf the heads of fuch who, by diforderly walk- ing, had brought a reproach thereon. The friends were affected, and acknowledged they believed it to be the cafe amongft them. We parted in tendernefs, and I proceeded on my journey, with an income of folid peace, and, after riding thirty-feven miles, reached Banbury, in Oxfordshire, and the next day Eatington, in Warwickshire, where I met with my friends Richard Partridge and Mary WeSlon, of London, and we were truly glad to fee each other, fpending the day together, and had a meeting with friends in the evening, to our mutual comfort. We went in company to Warwick and Coventry, and at the meeting at the laft place, which was comfortable, I thought 1 feniibly felt the benefit of the painful labour 1 had been exercifed in when there before. Richard Partridge returning to London, Mary Wef- ton went with me to the quarterly-meeting at Leicester, which began with a meeting of ministers and elders, and one for wor- fhip and difcipline was held the fame day : the fervice in which lay heavy upon me, and truth favoured, the power thereof be- ing felt, to the comfort of many. And I wiSh that feafon may not be forgotten by the members of that meeting. On the firft day following I went to a general meeting at Badgeley, and had an evening meeting at Daniel Lythal's, at Polefworth, who hath a large OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 205, large family of hopeful tender children. I next went to Allen England's, at Tamworth, and had a fatisfadtory opportunity in his fa- mily, to which I had felt a drawing in my mind for fome time; but did not know that it would fall fo in the way to the quarterly- meeting at Stafford, which I attended, and there met my friend Jofhua Tofft, in com- pany with whom I returned to Rudgeley, and next day had a meeting at the widov^ Morris's, and another that evening at Ut- toxeter : from thence to Leek, and, after a favoured meeting, went home with Jofhua to Harugate, where, after refting one day, had another meeting at Leek, and an op- portunity with fome friends at Jofhua Strangcnan's, wherewith I had a degree of peace. Accompanied by Jofhua Tofft, I went to a general meeting at Eaton, in Chefhire ; then to Macclesfield, Stockpor.t, Morley, and Farnly, the laft of which was a good meeting. There my friend Samuel Fother- gill met me, and we went to a meeting at Sutton. The next day Sufanna Fothergill, and her brother Alexander, came to fee me, and we had a comfortable time together at Thomas Hough's, being owned by truth. I was next at a laborious meeting at New- ton, though it ended well; and after it I met again with Jolhua Tofft, at Edgebury, and had a meeting the next day at Middle- wich, then at Nantwich, andChefler; from whence 206 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS whence rode to John Bellows, at Stretton, My travelling and labours through Chefhire was in a particular clofe manner, though there are fome folid friends in that county. Faffing to Shrewfbury, in Shropshire, I was at a meeting on firft day at Colebrook- dale, and had fome clofe work; but truth feemed to give victory : and in the evening, at Abraham Darby's houfe, had an oppor- tunity, in which the teflimony of truth prevailed, to the tendering fome high and lofty young people ; whofe faults were told them in the power of the fearcher of hearts, for which the Sincere were truly thankful. Next day returning to Shrewfbury, I went to vifit Benjamin Thomas and Richard Bel- lows, who had been confined in prifon about four years and a half for their con- fcientious refufal to pay tithes ; and we had a comfortable feafon together in the jail, feeking the living prefence of the Lord, which makes his people free, even in pri- fon s. The day following had a meeting in this town, and one in the evening, at the houfe of John Young, both which afforded fome peace - y but the life of truth is at a low Slate in Shropshire, and the profeflbrs with us few in number. I then paSTed into North Wales, to Charles Lloyd's, at Dolobran, in Montgomeryshire, John Young being with me, and had a meet- ing there : at th^s place there was formerly * a large OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 207 a large meeting, but it is now much de~ clined. From thence we went to Tyddeni- garrig, in Merionethshire, and had a meet- ing with a few fmcere friends at the houfe of Lewis Owen. After which I proceeded on my vifit to the other meetings in this county : firft at Llwindu, in the family of Humphry Owen, which was a comfortable time, though no other friends live in this place. Then at the houfe of John Good-* win, in Efkirgoch, in Montgomery mi re, where were feveral tender friends ; but the living are fcarcely able to bear the weight of thofe profefTors, who, although they know the truth, do not abide therein, and fo are as withered branches caft forth. Next was a pretty large and fatisfactory meeting at Talcoyd, in Radnorfhire ; then at Cwm, and Gluerindrew, and on a firft day at Penbank, where are many profefTors, though but few folid friends. After which at Penplace and Caermarthen, which laft meeting was much to my fatisfadlion, the few friends here be- ing of the better fort. From hence to Ha- verfordweft, with friends by themfelves moftly; and flaying their meetings on firil day, that in the afternoon was open and fa- tis factory, as to other profeflbrs, who came in : but pride and woridly-mindednefs hath much hurt the members of our fociety, though there are a few tender friends. In the evening I had another opportunity with friends, and was enabled to relieve my mind 208 TH LIFE AND TRAVELS among them with a degree of thankfulnefs. Next meeting was at James Town, and in the evening of the day following at Larn, with the people o'f the town, who behaved civilly, but feemed barren as to religion, in a right fenfe. There is but one in this town in unity with friends, and he feemed near his end, whom I vilited. After croffing a ferry near a mile broad, not without great danger, being driven on more, and the wind very high, the boat was likely to fill with water, that I was obliged to go over a marfh to Caermarthen, being thankful for the deliverance, where I had a publick meet- ing with the town's people, to a good degree of fatisfadtion -, and next morning met with my brother, William Brown, at Swanzey, and we were made joyful in the company of each other. Here we had two meetings, and another with friends felected, in which he got fome relief. After his leaving me here, having a concern on my mind, I vi- iited the families of friends, though not without fear ; but felt the help and flrength of my great and good Mafter, who furnimed me with power and fkill to difcharge my duty, both to the lukewarm, and the cor- rupt diforderly profeflbrs, without wounding his own children, fome of whom there are in this town. I flaid their meeting on fourth day, which feafon being divinely favoured, I pray may not be forgotten ; the power which alone can enable to tread on fcorpions or OP JOHN CHURCHMAN. 209 or ferpents, and preferve from the force of deadly poifon, being over all. The honour, praife, and glory, be afcribed to the Lord, who is worthy for ever ! Next day I refted, and, in a degree of humble thankfulnefs, made thefe remarks. I continued many days longer in this town, in which time had divers meetings, fome whereof were very fatisfactory, many of the town's people attending; and the good hand of the Lord was ftretched forth towards them, for which I was truly thank- ful. After fpending iixteen days among them, I went to LlantrifTent, and the next day had a meeting at Treveryg ; then one at Hillary, with a tender enquiring people ; alfo at Cardiff, with a feeking people, who had feparated themfelves from the publick worfhip, and met together in filence : this opportunity was an inftructive fealbn to them. On the firft day following I was at Pontypool, where at two meetings I had many clofe things to deliver, obferving want of order among them. In the evening had an opportunity with fome of the friends moft active in the difcipline, and endea- voured to difcharge myfelf: and on third day a large and pretty open meeting. Being detained by a great fnow, I had another meeting with friends of the foremoft rank on fixth day, in which I cleared my mind of a great burden, which I had borne on account of a formal ministry among them. P My 210 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS My next meeting was at Shire-Newton, which was pretty large, though dull; the favour of truth being much loft among friends here: yet I was favoured with ftrength to difcharge myfelf. And, in the feeling fenfe of peace, went that night to the paf- fage over the Severn, and next day to Brif- tol, my friend and kind landlord, James Griffitts, bearing me company from his own houfe at Swanzey. On third day I attended their meeting in Briftol, but fat in lilence, and was very heavy hearted, under a fenfe of a forward fpirit, which would prompt to anfwer the expec- tations of the people, and is apt to prevail on fome who feem to be called to the work of the miniftry ; but truth only blefleth its own motion. I continued in and near this city about four weeks, attending their feveral meetings, but did not feel relief from the burden I was under ; and on the fifteenth of the firft month, (1754) hearing that my brother, William Brown, was at Ann Young's, at Urcot, I went there to fee him, and we were comforted in each other's company; and next being their meeting day, we attended it to our refreshment. From whence we returned together to Briftol, where we tar- ried until the twenty-fixth, in which time I had feveral open meetings, which fet me at liberty to leave that city ; when we again parted, and I took meetings at Ulverftone, Thorn- OF JOHN CHURCHMAN 211 Thornbury, Sodbury, Didmerton, Tedbury, and two at Nailfworth, and another there in the evening, when I had an opportunity to the eafe of my mind, heavily opprefTed on account of the formal profeflbrs of truth, to the comfort of the faithful, which caufed thankfulnefs. From thence, calling to vifit the widow Fowler, who was in affliction, I went to meetings at Painfwick, Gloucester, Rofs, in Herefordfhire, Almerly, Leominfter, and Sifton, where I vilited the wives of the two friends before mentioned, who are im- prifoned at Shrewfbury for their teftimony againft tithes. Then returning to Leominf- ter, attended the monthly-meeting there, in which truth owned us ; and, taking a meeting at Bromfgrove, went to Worcef- ter, and on firft day was at two comfortable meetings, and another on third day ; and the next day attended the quarterly-meet- ing, which was a precious time, wherein friends were comforted. And finding a concern on my mind, I went into the wo- men's meeting, wherein the power of truth accompanied, which is the crown of our religious meetings. Here is a tender feed, efpecially amongft the female fex, which will thrive, if this Divine power is kept unto. Being now clear of this city, I departed with peace to meetings at Tewfkbury, Chel- tenham, and again to Nailfworth, where I P 2 was 212 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS was at two meetings, which though hard, I had an evidence that the Lord had not forfaken his feeking people. After attend- ing a conference with feveral friends endea- vouring to compofe a difference, which ended to fatisfation, I proceeded to the quarterly-meeting for Gloucefterfhire, held at Tedbury, where I again met with my brother, William Brown ; Divine goodnefs, and a degree of the authority of truth attending in the time of worfhip, and in tranfacting the affairs of the church. Next day my brother went to Bath, and I to Cirencefter, where I had a hard and dull meeting, the profeffors of truth having too much departed from the favour thereof. At another in the evening I had an evidence of having difcharged my duty. Then pro- ceeded to meetings at Farringdon, in Berk- fhire, Letchlade, Burford, in Oxfordshire, Milton, Stow in Gloucefterfhire, Chip- ping-Norton, Charlbury, Witney, Abing- don,Warborrow, North End, and from thence to High Wycomb, where, the weather be- ing very cold, I tarried fix days, viiiting feveral families of fick friends ; and the laft publick meeting being in the evening, many of the town's people attended, and it was a folid opportunity. From thence I went to Amermam, though with difficulty, on ac- count of the mow, and on firft day had a meeting at Chemam -, then to Hempftead, and had there a meeting, which was much enlarged OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 213 enlarged by the fcholars of Thomas Squires's fchool, feveral of whom were affefted. Then having a good opportunity with friends at Alban's, I went to London, where I re- mained feven weeks and three days, vifiting the meetings, and felt much of the weight and burden of the fervice before me there - t and, in the opening and authority of truth, I had to fpeak to the prefent flate of our fociety, not only to the inftrudtion of the feeking children, and comforting .of the mourners, but alfo by way of rebuke to the diforderly, and clofe warning to the re- bellious. During my continuance here I felt my mind drawn towards Wiltshire, and thought of attending the quarterly-meeting there, but on the day on which I expected to fet forward, I found a flop in my mind, though not relieved from a folid concern, which engaged me to enquire fecretly what I mould do ; for notwithstanding this con- cern to Wiltmire, my burden refpedting London feemed rather to increafe; but as I kept quiet, I found my heart warmed in love, and my mind opened, and influenced to write an epiftle to that quarterly-meet- ing, which with thankfulnefs I then efteemed a great favour from my great and good Maf- ter, being in a poor ftate of health, the weather unfavourable, and the journey long. So, in the opening of truth, I wrote as foK Joweth ; , P 3 'To 214 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS ' To Friends in Wiltfhire.' HAVING had ftrong defires in my ' mind for your welfare in the truth, * I purpofed to have attended your quarterly- ' meeting, but being let at this time, and * not knowing that 1 mall ever have an op- * portunity to fee you, I feel a freedom to ' vifit you with a few lines in the opening ' and love of truth, which flows to you- ' ward. ' Dear friends, male and female, old and ' young, as many of you as are defirous to * be called the children of God, and fol- * lowers of Chrift Jefus, be humble, that * you may be taught of him ; for it is the s humble that he teaches of his ways. And ' be ye meek and low in heart, that you * may ferve him in your generation, and one * another in his pure fear; fo you will know * him for your reft, and his peace your quiet * habitation. ' My foul hath mourned, and is in fome * degree covered therewith at this time, * under a fenfe that the love of the world, * and its pleafures and earthly delights, ' abound in too many, (which is iniquity) f and becaufe thereof the love of many to- ' wards God waxeth cold j and for want of f witnefiing the love of God in a pure heart, * the mind becomes at eafe, lukewarm, and f indifferent about the things which belong f to OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 215 to our peace and future happinefs : and fo fathers and mothers, mafters and miftref- fes, become dull, if not dead, to that holy concern, which mould ever excite them, both by example and precept, to inftrucl: and train up their children and fervants in all godlinefs of life and con- * verfation. ' O dear friends ! fearch your hearts, and * diligently enquire whether fomething hath ' not fubtilly crept in, and ftolen away your ' affections from God, and the deep atten- ' tion of your minds from the inftrudtions * of his holy fpirit of truth : and if this ' becomes your concern, I fully believe that ' the Lord will blefs you with enlightened ' minds to fee, and willing hearts to give ' up all to the fire and fword of his Word ' and Spirit, that your hearts may be purged, ' and made tabernacles and temples in * which he would take delight to dwell : ' for if the foul is chafte in love to God, ' and the eye of the mind (ingle to the in- * ftrudtion of the fpirit of truth, the whole * body will be full of light. It is herein * that the children of God are preferved fafe ' in their own fecret fteps before the Lord, ' and free from giving occafion of /tumbling ' to others. * I am fully perfuaded there is a remnant ' amongft you, who feelingly know that the ' living fenfe of the preience and power cf * God, in your meetings both for wormip P 4 and 216 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS ' and discipline, is not plentifully enjoyed, ' but is at a low ebb : and it is in my mind ' to let you know what has appeared to me ' to be as one great reafon, viz. there are ' many profefTors of the truth amongfl you, ' who delight to be accounted of as friends ' in eSteem in the fociety; who have a ' fmooth and fawning behaviour, and flat- * tering tongues, and do feek the love and ' friendship of fuch who are friends of ' truth, for their own honour and credit, ' and the reputation of felf. Dear friends, ' of fuch beware, for their friendship is * poifon, and their intimate fellowship, if ' cleaved unto, is benumbing, even to in- * fenfibility. And for want of a clear dif- * covery of that fpirit, fome of the tender * and fmcere-hearted among you have fuf- ' fered. * In whomfoever earthly-mindednefs pre- ' vails, or the love of the world, and its ' friendship, there is a fecret giving way to, ' and a gradual reconciliation with, its for- * did practices ; and the eye that once faw ' in the true light, becomes clofed or dim- ' med, if not wholly blinded by the god ' of this world. f Liberty is then taken by parents, and ' indulgence is given to their children ; * which occalions pain and diSlrefs of heart ' to thole who have not loft their Sight and * feeling. But fome, for fear of being re- * buked and difefteemed by fuch who have ' a fenfe OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 217 * a fenfe of them, will court their affections; * with which bait they have been taken, ' and fo have been afraid to fpeak their ' minds plainly, left they mould offend, or ' drive them further from the fociety : con- ' eluding there is a tender thing in them, ' becaufe they feem to love friends. And ' fb many who might have made great pro- * grefs have loft ground, for want of fpeak- * ing truth to their neighbours. And thus * the infection of pride, libertinifm, and * earthly -mindednefs, has fpread and pre- * vailed, even to the hurt of fome families, ' that were once exceedingly grieved there- 4 with. ' Wherefore, my dear friends, fear God ' with a perfect heart, and in his light watch ' over your own felves and your families ; * fo mall your hearts be warmly influenced, * and filled with holy zeal and love to God * and his truth, in which you will be bold ' to aft in your meetings for difcipline; and ' in the power of God, which is the autho- * rity of the church, you will be able to ' judge thofe who walk diforderly; and, ' being faithful therein, you will remove ' the {tumbling- blocks, and roll away the ' reproach which is imputed to the church. ' Then would the Lord feed fuch his * faithful labourers with his heavenly bread, * and honour them with his life-giving pre- * fence; and whether the diforderly would ' hear or forbear, the Lord would be the mield 2i8 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS * fhield and exceeding great reward of his * people, and fill their hearts with praife to < his name, who is worthy for ever and ' ever ! * JOHN CHURCHMAN/ ' London, the 4th of the 4th month, 1754.' * Let this be read in your men's and wo- * men's meetings.' I have before hinted, that in my travel- ling to the meetings in Wiltshire, and at- tending the quarterly-meeting in the feventh month, Old Stile, 1750, I was ftraitened to clear myfelf towards them, which occafioned me to leave them in pain of mind; but now, having fent them this epiflle, I was made eafy, believing they would read it, and fend copies thereof to their feveral monthly-meetings, which would be likely to be heard by more friends, than if my concern had been delivered in the quarterly- meeting only. Inclofing it to an innocent friend at Chippenham, I defired him to de- liver it to the faid meeting, which I after- wards understood he did, and that friends had anfwered my requefl. Now feeling my mind eafy to leave Lon- don for a while, J went to Efher, in Surry; was the next day at a large meeting at Kingfton on Thames, which was pretty open as to doctrine 5 the people feemed attentive, and OF JOHN CHURCHMAN, 219 and feveral much tendered, There are but few friends here. I then vifited divers other meetings in. Hampshire and Berkfhire, being made thank- ful to the great Author of all good, who had been with me in the journey, under my indifpolition of body. Coming to Lon- don, I met with many friends, from differ- ent parts of the nation, in order to attend the yearly-meeting, which began on the fecond day of the fixth month, and conti- nued ten days, being a very large, and in the main a folid meeting. Many weighty affairs relating to our religious fociety were therein considered; it was then alfo agreed that in future this meeting mould begin with a meeting of minifters and elders, on the feventh day of the week, at the third hour in the afternoon, that enquiry might be made into the flate of the miniftry in general, which I hope may be attended with good fervice hereafter. On the eleventh of the fixth month, and third day of the week, after the parting meeting, I went from London to Marga- ret's, in Hertfordshire ; next day attended a yearly-meeting in Hertford, which was very large. The next day I accompanied feveral friends who were appointed to vifita month- ly-meeting, the members of which paid tithes, and contended for liberty fo to do without cenfure. We had a conference with them, 220 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS them, in which the teftimony of truth being fet over them for that time, they were taken and confounded in their own ar- guments. After this I attended a general or yearly- meeting at Baldock, which was very large and fatisfaclory. Returning next morning to London, I was truly thankful that I had been enabled to attend thefe three meetings, enjoying great peace in my labours there, which lay heavy upon me. My gracious and good Mailer gave me wifdom, boldnefs, and ftrength, to clear myfelf in the love and power of truth, to the tendering -of many hearts : may I ever remember his mercies to me, and be enabled to blefs and praife his holy name, who is worthy for ever ! Continuing in and near London about ten days, I then went to a large fatisfadtory meeting at Rochefter, in Kent, where were feveral clergymen, who behaved well. Next morning had a meeting at the houfe of Thomas Crifp, with a few friends, and divers others. Then going to my friend William Patterfon's, at Canterbury, I was at their meeting in that town, and the day following had one in the Ifle of Thanet, where there are a few friendly people. The meeting next day at Dover was pretty open. On iirft day I was at two meetings at Folk- ftone, which were dull and heavy, though there are many friends in that place, amongft whom OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 221 whom I was favoured with ftrength to eafe my mind. I then vifited the meetings at Mermam, Amford, Tenterden, (to which friends of Colebrook came) Gardnerftreet, Lewes, Brighthelmftone, Ifield, Hormam, Shipley, Arundel, and Chichefter; when finding a concern to vifit the families of friends in this city, I fpent two days in the fervice, and had fome clofe exercife, though a good degree of peace. I alfo attended their two meetings on firfl day, which were heavy and laborious : for though here are fome tender people, yet the fpirit of the world has brought a blaft on feveral proferTors. From hence I went to Gofport, in Hamp- fhire, where we had a meeting, alfo one in the evening at Portfmouth, John Griffith and Jeremiah Waring being with me ; then going to Southampton, went in a boat to Cowes, in the Ifle of Wight, and the day after had a good meeting at Newport, like- wife one in the evening with the town's people. After another opportunity with friends, returned to Cowes, where I had another with a few of our brethren : fo went back to Southampton. And on firft day, the twenty-firft of the feventh month, attended two meetings at Poole, in Dorfet- ihire, which were dull and laborious : a worldly libertine fpirit has brought a blaft on many. Next day we had a meeting with a few 222 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS a few friends at Weymouth ; then at Brid- port : truth feems at a low ebb in Doriet- fhire. The next meeting was at Ringwood, in Hampfhire, which was dull : where the life of truth is not abode in, people will wither. The fame evening we had a meet- ing to pretty good fatisfaclion at Fording- bndge; then one at Alton, at which place we had another very fatisfactory meeting, on firft day ; and that evening at Codalming. The next day had a meeting at Capel, in Surry, and in the evening at Darking; on the day following at Ryegate, and in the evening at Croydon. From whence on fourth day morning, the thirty-firfl of the feventh month, coming again to London, for the laft time, I fpent eight days more with friends in that city. On my coming here from Alban's, on the nineteenth of the third month before men- tioned, I felt great fear to poflefs my mind, having at fundry times before fpent about thirteen weeks in that city, moftly under a clofe exercife of fpirit, without an opennefs to fay much, in publick or private, to ob- tain relief: fo that to go thither again ap- peared to me like entering into a cloud, al- though I was fecretly bound in fpirit to proceed. But attending all the meetings as they came in courfe, I felt a gradual open- nefs and ftrength to declare thofe things, which before had been fealed up ; being now made OF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 223 made fenfible that every opening or vifion, which the Lord is pleafed to manifeft to his fervants, are not for immediate utterance : but the Lord, who gives judgment, mould be carefully waited upon, who only can {hew, by the manifeftation of his heavenly light, the time when, and by the gentle putting forth of his arm of power, abilitates in the opening of his fpirit, which giveth tongue and utterance to fpeak the word of truth, in the demonftration of the fpirit and power; that openeth a door of entrance in the hearts of them who hear. Our dear Lord faid, " For it is not ye that fpeak, but " the Spirit of your Father, which fpeaketh " in you," Matt. x. 20. Now as my fervice opened and ftrength increafed, I was invited by fome to their houfes to dine, who before 'looked on me with indifference, but now faid they mould be glad to fee me there, to be more ac- quainted; but as I felt, on my fir ft arrival in this city, a fecret prohibition from going much from houfe to houfe, without inward leave, fo now the lame reftraint continued with me, left by going to fuch places, I might fomewhat contradict by example the precepts which truth had directed me to deliver in publick; to wit, a life of felf-de- nial and temperance in eating and drinking, with a fteady inward attention to the teach- ings of the fpirit of grace, in order to know an 224 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS an eftablifhment of heart thereby, as being the certain duty of every follower of Chri.fl Jefus our Lord. Thus I think I have feen that there is great need to be exceedingly careful, when the Lord is pleafed to reach unto and con- vict diforderly walkers by inftrumental means, that we do not leffen the weight of divine reproof, by being familiar with fuch, as if all was well : for they are apt to be fond of the inftrument through whom they have been reached j and if by their fondling they gain the efteem of fuch a friend, it feems to heal them before their wounds are fearchcd to the bottom : fo that I rather chofe retire- ment, and to live as private as I well could. Now I alfo faw that if I had fought many acquaintance, and thereby beheld the con- duel: and behaviour of fome in their families, my way would not have been fo open as it now was. In many meetings the love and power of truth was felt by the humble dependent children, whofe eyes were fixed on their heavenly Helper; and at fome of the laft in London I had, with an innocent boldnefs, to appeal to friends to bear witnefs of the manner in which I had fpent my time in that city. That I had not fought to be po- pular, nor endeavoured to gain the praife of any, or the friendmip of thofe who were not the real friends of truth ; keeping in a good bF JOHN CHURCHMAN. 225 good degree under the innocency and fim- plicity thereof; yet with a near affection I felt my fpirit united to the children of the heavenly family amongft them - y but had never fought to fteal their love from the great Parent to whom they did belong ; my prayer and heart's defire having been, that their abode might be in the truth, and their affections placed on God, and the whole de- light of their hearts to meditate in his holy law. That if through me, as an inftru- ment, they had received any benefit, the praife belonged to the Lord, the only fu- preme good : and if in future they did but love, fear, and ferve him, it was little to me whether they ever remembered that I had been amongfl them. Neverthelefs, a participation of the love of God, by the mem- bers of the true church, has taught them to know the communion of faints, and the deeply engraven unity of the one fpirit, which makes them as epiftles written in one another's hearts, which time or diflance can never erafe. Having fpent firft and lafl in London about twenty-three weeks, on the ninth day of the eighth month, and lixth of the week, after a folid meeting at Gracechurch- ftreet, I felt myfelf at liberty to fet my face homewards. The fame mip in which I came over, and the fame captain, Stephen Mefnard, being now ready to go for Phila- Q^ delphia, 2a6 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS delphia, I went that night to Gravefend, accompanied by about twelve friends; the next morning we went on board the mip, where we had a precious uniting time, and then returned on more to dine : after which my friend Samuel Fothergill and myfelf, taking leave of our friends, went on board again, and pafled down the Thames to Mar- gate Bay, near the Ifle of Thanet. On firft day, the eleventh, we went to the Downs, by Deal : though very much indif- pofed in body, I enjoyed fuch quietude of mind, that I was borne up, and preferved from repining. Samuel Fothergill, before mentioned, came over with me, on a reli- gious vifit to friends in America; and dur- ing our pafTage great nearnefs was between us. We held meetings conftantly on the firft and fifth days of the week, and landed near Wilmington, in Newcaftle county, on Delaware, on the twenty-fourth of the ninth month, (1754) in the forenoon. My brother, William Brown, with our friend Jofhua Dixon, from the county of Durham, in Great Britain, who was com- ing over alfo on a religious vifit to friends in thefe colonies, having embarked in an- other mip, which failed fome time before us, arrived likewife the fame day, and, quite unexpected to each other, we met in this town, to our mutual joy and fatisfac- tion. From whence, after dining, they, with OF JOHN CHURCHMAN, 227 \vith Samuel Fothergill, proceeded up to Philadelphia, and I went home that evening^ where I found a kind reception. In this vifit I was abfent from home four years and twelve days, having travelled by land about nine thoufand one hundred miles, and attended about one thoufand meetings, befides thofe in London and Dub- lin, (in which cities I fpent near half a year) and vifited all the families of friends in North and South Holland. CHAP. 228 THE LIFE AND TRAVELS CHAP. V. His attending the quarterly-meetings at Phi- ladelphia and Concord The yearly-meeting at Philadelphia, and quarterly-meeting at Shrew/bury, in New-Jerfey. An account of an exercife attending his mind relating to war, and the public k commotions. A conference of federal friends thereon, with their addrefs to the ajjembly of Pennjyhania on the fubjecJ, and an epiftle to friends in that province in the year 1755. His at- tendance of the general fpr ing- meeting in Philadelphia in 1756, and fome account of the calamities of the Indian 'war in Penn- Jyfoania. An account of the yearly-meet- ing in Philadelphia the fame year. A relation of a