I 
 
 
 T 
 
 CHARLES Ross JA 
 
 ^W ^h. %^ 

 
 TUCKER DAN
 
 ^ ..-"'' 
 
 1 He received an over-ripe apple 
 on the side of his neck." Page 12. 
 
 Frontispiece
 
 TUCKER DAN 
 
 By 
 CHARLES ROSS JACKSON 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS BY GORDON H. GRANT 
 
 G. W. DILLINGHAM COMPANY 
 PUBLISHERS NEW YORK
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1905, BY 
 G. W. DILLINGHAM COMPANY 
 
 Issued May, 1905 
 Tucker Dan
 
 Dedicated to 
 Those who have been Boys or Girls
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 I. Two OF A KIND 1 1 
 
 II. UNCLE BINNY TAKES A SWIM . . .28 
 
 III. UNCLE BINNY'S RETURN HOME . .44 
 
 IV. UNCLE BINNY LOSES CASTE ... 56 
 V. THE DOCTOR INTERVIEWS MICKEY . . 67 
 
 VI. UNCLE BINNY'S MISTAKE . . . 78 
 
 VII. AT THE HOSPITAL . . . .91 
 
 VIII. AN ATTACK OF THE GOUT . . .104 
 
 IX. TUCK SEES THE DOCTOR . . .116 
 
 X. FLAHERTY GETS A LESSON . . . 1 3 1 
 
 XI. A BRACE OF LOVERS . . . .145 
 
 XII. HENRY'S BUSY DAY . . . 158 
 
 XIII. FOUR HEARTS . . . . . 174 
 
 XIV. TUCK'S DINNER 185
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 He received an over-ripe apple on the side of his 
 
 neck, (Frontispiece) .... Page 12 
 
 " Look at those trousers," he whispered . " 38 
 
 The scene that ensued was the liveliest of the 
 
 day "55 
 
 The gun was loaded with bird shot . " 89 
 
 With a can of fresh red paint . . . "138 
 Salvina and Augusta were there . . . "164
 
 TUCKER DAN 
 
 CHAPTER ONE 
 
 TWO OF A KIND 
 
 OU Tuck 'f you don't come 
 off'n that perch, and come 
 off quick, I'll stick this 
 pitchfork into you." 
 
 Tuck thumped his bare 
 heels together, bent over so 
 that he could keep his bal- 
 ance on the thin upper edge of the fence, 
 and shook his head. 
 
 " Nope, Uncle Binny ; the stomach ain't 
 the place to stick a fellow ; I'm wrong side 
 to." 
 
 " I'll teach you ! " exclaimed the old 
 man as he lunged with the pitchfork in a 
 well-simulated temper. 
 11
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Tuck did not wait, but threw up his 
 legs and fell gracefully backwards over 
 the fence into the hay that he knew was 
 beyond. And then as Uncle Binny 
 peered cautiously over he received an 
 over-ripe apple on the side of his neck, 
 and saw his nephew Tucker making for 
 the barn like a streak of lightning, shout- 
 ing as he ran, 
 
 " Help, help, help, Uncle Binny." 
 
 The old man did not stop to take the 
 remains of the apple from his neck, but 
 dropping his pitchfork, made for the 
 swinging gate in the distance which he 
 knew that Tucker would have to pass in 
 order to make his escape from the farm. 
 
 But many previous escapades of the 
 kind had sharpened Tuck's wits and 
 made him something of a general. Be- 
 sides he had not anticipated exactly that 
 the apple would make such a perceptible 
 hit ; and was reluctant to claim the full 
 12
 
 Two of a Kind 
 
 credit for it. He dashed through the 
 barn, saw Mr. Binny awaiting him, and 
 tearing off his jacket with a quick motion 
 as he ran, flung it unexpectedly into his 
 elder's already much abused face ; and in 
 the confusion that followed slipped out of 
 the gate, leaving part of a suspender, 
 some shirt and some hair in Uncle 
 Binny's hands. 
 
 " Tucker Dan, when you come back I'll 
 skin you alive," said the exasperated old 
 gentleman fiercely. 
 
 " He's madder'n a hornet this time," 
 murmured Tuck to himself. " I'll dust." 
 And he dusted, looking neither to right, 
 left, nor behind, but charging straight 
 ahead for the woods. He leaped a brook 
 and pushed his way through a corn-field 
 in utter silence ; then from the safe edge 
 of the woods he glanced back. 
 
 " He's got my coat, and I ain't got my 
 shoes ; but I'll not go back. I think 
 13
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 I'll spend the night with Mickey Con- 
 nor." 
 
 Meanwhile Uncle Binny cleaned his 
 neck and returned to the house. " I 
 wouldn't 'a' hurt the scallawag for any- 
 thing, but I just had to make him think 
 I would. * Wrong side to ! the stomach 
 ain't the place to stick a feller ' ha, ha. 
 No more it ain't either. That Tucker is 
 surely a chip of the old block." 
 
 Tuck was thirteen years old, ten of 
 which had been passed with Uncle Binny 
 and his wife Aunt Amy. He had come 
 to them as an orphan, the son of Binny's 
 sister and a seafaring husband of the 
 name of Pils. Tuck's surname therefore 
 was Pils ; but it was rarely used in his 
 presence by his juniors at least. When 
 used by his elders Tuck did not mind so 
 much, unless they used his other names 
 at the same time. Tucker Dan Pils was 
 all the boy would stand from anybody.
 
 Two of a Kind 
 
 His Aunt Amy called him that twice 
 when he was ten ; and Tucker, delving 
 into the family Bible discovered that her 
 name was really Amelia Aurania ; so the 
 next time she called him Tucker Dan 
 Pils he christened her Aunt A. A. after 
 the two first letters of these names. Aunt 
 Amy had immediately changed to " Tuck 
 dear " but it was too late. The nick- 
 name stuck, and the family knew her 
 thereafter as Aunt A. A. 
 
 When Uncle Binny reached the house 
 his wife looked him over earnestly, and 
 then smiled knowingly. " Binny what 
 you been up to ? " 
 
 " I've been trying to wallop that Tuck," 
 he said. There was still some of the ap- 
 ple on his collar, and as Aunt Amy 
 caught sight of it she laughed. 
 
 "Nothing of the kind, Binny. You 
 know you wouldn't wallop that young- 
 ster if you did catch him." 
 15
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " Well, mother, he needs it." 
 
 " Maybe he does. But bless him, ain't 
 he chopped all that wood for you on 
 Monday ; an' milked the cow ; an' been 
 awful good this week ? " 
 
 " Has he ? Bless him didn't he chop 
 his own big toe when he chopped the 
 wood? Didn't I pay Doc a dollar for 
 saying it wasn't dangerous ? And didn't 
 he drink half the milk, and spill the 
 other half into his own stomach ? " 
 
 " Yes, Binny ; but boys will be boys." 
 
 "That don't excuse 'em for being 
 calves." 
 
 " Binny ! " 
 
 "Amelia ! " 
 
 And thus it was that many a mild 
 quarrel over the boy terminated. 
 
 All this time Tuck, speeding through 
 
 the woods, was thinking of the sound 
 
 the squashed apple had made as it had 
 
 landed on Uncle Binny's neck. The 
 
 ' 16
 
 
 
 Two of a Kind 
 
 episode had ceased to seem humorous. 
 He had every reason to believe that Uncle 
 could skin a boy if he felt so inclined ; so 
 he made through the woods for Mickey's 
 house on the outskirts of the town with 
 undiminished speed. 
 
 When in sight of the kitchen door 
 he whistled softly " phll-u phll-u " a 
 couple of times, and was quickly rewarded 
 by the appearance of a sun-browned, 
 roughly-clad youngster, perhaps fourteen, 
 who, as soon as he saw Tuck's injured 
 shirt and suspender, realized that some- 
 thing was wrong. He signaled Tuck to 
 hide behind the barn, and then began, 
 boylike, to manoeuvre in that direction 
 so as not to excite suspicion from his lady 
 mother in the kitchen. Seizing the 
 bucket he started for the well ; but on ar- 
 riving there suddenly made the astonish- 
 ing discovery that one of the boards 
 needed nailing. He volunteered the in- 
 IT
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 formation to his mother, and dashed into 
 the barn for nails and a closer view of 
 friend Tuck, who it was plain to see, was 
 in an unusually bad fix of some kind. 
 
 " Cheese it, Tuck ; me mother'll get 
 you spotted. What's up ? " he whispered 
 breathlessly. 
 
 " Say, Mickey, the old man's after me ; 
 he'll skin me this time sure. I want 
 my shoes and stockings and my coat," 
 came in an answering whisper. 
 
 " Go an' get 'em, then." 
 
 " Not on your life ; you go an' get 'em 
 for me. Then I'll spend the night with 
 you, and we'll go to school together to- 
 morrow." 
 
 "We will not we will not, Tucker 
 Dan. You get your own clothes and we 
 will play hookey to-morrow." 
 
 Tucker had failed to work the astute 
 Mickey as easily as he had thought ; but 
 he tried another scheme. 
 18
 
 Two of a Kind 
 
 " Mickey Connor, you come over to 
 my place and tell Nunc Binny that you 
 think I was hurted on the road in an 
 accident, tell him it looked like me. 
 Then when they're gone after me I'll 
 hook my own clothes." 
 
 Mickey grinned, and grabbing a hand- 
 ful of nails and a hammer, walked to the 
 well with friend Tucker. Together they 
 nailed down all the boards that needed 
 nailing, and about a dozen that didn't 
 need anything whatever ; and then Mickey 
 boldly told his mother that Tuck was go- 
 ing to stay over night with him, but that 
 they were first going back to get Tuck's 
 shoes. 
 
 Mrs. Connor raised no objection. Had 
 not the pair nailed down the well boards 
 for her a thing long needed ? Besides, 
 the Binnys were more prosperous than 
 the Connors. If Mrs. Connor wondered 
 when she saw Tuck's ruptured suspender 
 19
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 and torn shirt she said nothing about 
 them. 
 
 The two schemers started back to- 
 wards Uncle Binny's, whistling a chorus. 
 Mickey spoke first. 
 
 " Tuck, when you want to work any- 
 body, just be good to 'em." 
 
 "Yep; but there ain't any loose 
 well boards around our place," answered 
 Tucker Dan as he swaggered along chew- 
 ing a piece of grass ; " Aunt Amy ain't 
 so easy." 
 
 " Maybe she ain't easy ; but you always 
 wanter sit down an' think how to get 
 along without making a fuss, Tuck." 
 
 " Sure ; but when Nunc Binny gets 
 through with me this time I'll have to 
 do my thinking standing up," said 
 Tucker reflectively. 
 
 Mickey chortled ; and the two started 
 on an easy dog-trot through the woods, 
 discussing how best to get possession of 
 20
 
 Two of a Kind 
 
 the missing and necessary articles of 
 apparel. 
 
 It was dark when they arrived in view 
 of the Binny homestead ; but through the 
 distant windows they could see the supper 
 waiting. Aunt Amy was uneasily pacing 
 up and down, and now and then gesticu- 
 lating towards Uncle Binny. 
 
 " They're worried," exclaimed Mickey. 
 
 " Yep ; and Nunc Binny's getting the 
 deuce, but if I was such a fool as to go in 
 now they'd set on me together. Start 
 the ball rolling, Mickey." 
 
 " All right ; but if I get caught and 
 licked I'll take it out of you, Tucker 
 Dan." 
 
 " Sure," was the grinning answer ; " and 
 if you get caught and licked, you and 
 Nunc Binny can start a search for me." 
 
 A period of a minute or so elapsed in 
 silence as Mickey screwed up his courage 
 to " start the ball rolling." Tucker mean- 
 21
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 while disappeared by a circuitous route to 
 another side of the house. 
 
 Suddenly Mickey began to jump up and 
 down, and throw dirt upon himself in the 
 dark. " I got to look like I've been run- 
 ning to beat the band," he exclaimed 
 to himself. Then starting pell-mell for 
 the distant house, leaping the brook and 
 wetting his clothes purposely, he rushed 
 up to the kitchen door, and slammed it 
 behind him as he staggered across to the 
 dining-room. There he leaned against 
 the wall and gurgled an unintelligible 
 something at Mr. Binny. 
 
 He looked as though he had run a mile 
 over all kinds of obstructions, and the 
 Binnys knew in a moment that some- 
 thing dreadful had happened. They 
 seized him, set him on a chair and 
 fanned him, and Aunt Amy offered 
 him a drink. 
 
 He took the tumbler and purposely 
 22
 
 Two of a Kind 
 
 drank the liquid slowly. As he had 
 said, he did his best thinking when he 
 was sitting down. 
 
 " What's the matter, Connor? What's 
 what's has anything happened to 
 Tucker ? " exclaimed the Binnys in 
 chorus. 
 
 " He's he's oh gosh, he's outside 
 there on the road. Automobile," gasped 
 Mickey. 
 
 " An accident ! " shrieked Aunt Amy. 
 
 " Did you say an automobile accident? " 
 queried Uncle Binny, knowing full well 
 that no automobile could go on the road 
 near by. 
 
 Mickey felt his mistake and sat down 
 harder. " No," he cried. " Run down 
 by wagon boy looks like Tuck ; they 
 picked him up an' carried him to the 
 corners, an' an automobile took him to 
 town an' to de hospital." 
 
 Poor Uncle Binny and Aunt Amy 
 23
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 grabbed their hats, and Mickey led the 
 way across lots to the woods. Uncle 
 Binny had dropped all his suspicions, for 
 he saw as he left the house that Mickey 
 was crying. 
 
 " Maybe he'll have to have a leg took 
 off; it was awful like Tuck; when I 
 seen him look so dreadful I just took a 
 fly over here," exclaimed the guide as he 
 led the distracted uncle and aunt deeper 
 into the woods. " I'll run ahead," he 
 continued ; "just turn to the right 
 that's the corners. I want to see Tuck." 
 
 Mickey bounded ahead, disappeared 
 from view and then doubled on his 
 tracks back to the Binny home ; while 
 the two nearest relatives of Tucker Dan 
 took a passing carriage and were driven 
 to the hospital. 
 
 Meanwhile Tuck clad himself properly 
 at home, and then went out into the night 
 to join Mickey ; but before he left he 
 24
 
 Two of a Kind 
 
 placed a new huckleberry-pie from the 
 shelf in Uncle Binny's chair at the table. 
 This chair was an upholstered affair 
 which had recently been presented to its 
 owner by the members of his lodge, in 
 recognition of the high esteem in which 
 they held his teachings. Uncle Binny 
 loved that chair, and Tucker hated it. 
 
 Later when the Binnys returned they 
 came in silence, and in silence Aunt Amy 
 took her seat at table. Uncle Binny 
 paced the floor calmly and reflectively. 
 Finally the lady broke the quietude. 
 
 " George Binny to think that we've 
 been faked by that young Connor scamp. 
 Aren't you ashamed when you think how 
 you blubbered at the hospital when you 
 asked for Tucker?" 
 
 The old man looked angrily at his 
 wife ; then he sat down in his nice up- 
 holstered chair and drew himself towards 
 the table. 
 
 25
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " Let us eat, Amy ; at all events the 
 boy's probably alive. It beats the Dutch 
 how glad I am to sit in this soft chair 
 again ; it's the comfortablest chair I ever 
 sat in. It seems especially soft to-night." 
 Then he stretched and sorrowfully re- 
 marked " But where has Tucker Dan 
 been? where is he now, I wonder?" 
 
 He hesitated as a curious and clammy 
 sensation stealthily overcame him. Next 
 moment he war-whooped, and Aunt Amy 
 stood up with him. She gave one gasp as 
 she pointed to the clinging huckle berries. 
 
 " Thank heaven, the boy's safe, any- 
 way, Binny," she cried hysterically. 
 " Read your answer : Tucker Dan has 
 been here." 
 
 Two boys watching results from a dis- 
 tance disappeared by the milky light of 
 the moon. 
 
 Said Tucker to Mickey as they went 
 to bed that night in the latter's bed, 
 26
 
 Two of a Kind 
 
 " Just call me if Nunc Binny comes. 
 I got to be a man, and take my licking." 
 
 " Sure ; you'll get it," said Mickey ; 
 " an' if you get blistered use molasses an' 
 cream ; dat's wot I used last time." 
 
 27
 
 CHAPTER TWO 
 
 UNCLE BINNY TAKES A SWIM 
 
 NCLE Binny didn't lie awake 
 that night wondering where 
 the absent boy was, for he 
 knew full well that he was 
 stopping with his friend 
 Mickey. Instead he slept 
 the sleep of an honest but 
 injured man. Once he awoke and 
 thought of the upholstered chair ; and 
 then he made up his mind that he would 
 square the account in an unexpected 
 manner. He would catch the boys the 
 next day on the beach, a mile across the 
 harbor, where he was sure they would go 
 to play hookey and have a clambake. 
 He had been a boy forty-five years ago, 
 and it was just the thing then as it was 
 28
 
 Uncle Binny Takes a Swtm 
 
 now to skip school, sail across the bay to 
 the beach, and there hunt for clams and 
 bake them in fresh seaweed thrown over 
 a fire made in a hole in the sand. Uncle 
 Binny was close mouthed, and after 
 breakfast started off on his errand, armed 
 with a good serviceable whip under his 
 coat and a lunch prepared by Aunt Amy, 
 who divined the truth but said never a 
 word. There was quiet balminess in the 
 air, the birds chirped and the cows gazed 
 reflectively at him as he cut across the 
 farm towards town ; but there was danger 
 in Uncle Binny this time. 
 
 When the green upholstered chair had 
 turned to huckleberry purple, other 
 things had also changed. No longer 
 would Tucker Dan be dealt leniently 
 with. No longer would Aunt Amy have 
 anything to do in spoiling the discipline 
 of his ward. No, he, Uncle Binny, would 
 catch Tucker ; and then Tucker would 
 29
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 catch something worse than a cold. 
 Thus mused Mr. Binny as he wandered 
 through town to the head of the beach, 
 where it swung round and joined the 
 mainland. He would stalk the quarry 
 from the unexpected quarter. He would 
 hide in the scrub that grew on the harbor 
 side of the beach and catch the boys as 
 they came from the ocean side, and their 
 dips in the briny deep which he felt sure 
 they would take. 
 
 Uncle Binny created a great sensation 
 as he passed the post-office in his Sunday 
 trousers and his workaday coat, a combi- 
 nation made necessary by ,the thought- 
 less sitting on the huckleberries. Some 
 of the old boys of fifty or thereabouts 
 poked fun at him behind his back, for 
 old boys are similar to young ones, and 
 Binny was known far and wide and 
 well. 
 
 But the sensation that Mr. George 
 30
 
 Uncle Binny Takes a Swim 
 
 Binny made when he went, wasn't a cir- 
 cumstance to the sensation that he was 
 to make that night upon his return : but 
 nobody can look ahead very far, and he 
 was no exception. He thought he was 
 going to get the better of Tucker Dan 
 but we shall see. 
 
 Meanwhile the boys went towards 
 school, leaving Mrs. Connor well satis- 
 fied with the friendship that caused her 
 boy to associate with Tucker Dan ; for 
 he was better off than the average village 
 boy being really a Binny to all intents 
 and purposes. 
 
 In half an hour the two were in an 
 old boat and rowing across the harbor 
 towards the beach. 
 
 " Hully gee ! your Uncle Binny must 
 'a' been kinder discouraged, Tuck ; he 
 never came after you," exclaimed Mickey 
 as he strained at an oar. 
 
 " That means nothing 'cept he don't 
 31
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 want to wear his Sunday pants. He's 
 waiting round " 
 
 " He he haw " chuckled Mickey 
 
 as he caught a crab, and fell backwards 
 into the bottom of the boat. 
 
 " Shucks ! I thought you could row," 
 remarked Tucker. " There ain't any use 
 flipflapping in the bottom of this boat 
 when you can row." 
 
 " Quit yer kiddin' ; I makes mistakes 
 just like any other feller. You never 
 caught a crab, did you ? " 
 
 " Naw," exclaimed the other disdain- 
 fully, and in such a superior manner that 
 his friend vowed secret vengeance. 
 
 As they neared the beach Mickey, be- 
 ing in the bow, ordered Tucker to pull 
 hard while he used an oar to guide the 
 boat ashore. Tuck bent well forward and 
 took a mighty heave ; and Mickey, by a 
 deft movement of his own oar, lifted one 
 of the rowers' oars just as he started to 
 32
 
 Uncle Binny Takes a Swim 
 
 pull. Tucker Dan took a beautiful crab 
 landed on the forward seat on the back 
 of his left ear, carromed across the bot- 
 tom of the boat, and doubled up between 
 the seats like a poorly stuffed pillow. 
 
 " Jiminy," exclaimed the guilty Mickey 
 as he stood, oar in hand, and fended the 
 bow of the boat from land " Jiminy 
 crickets, how de blazes did you do that ? 
 what kinder thing do you call that ? " 
 
 " Skinny Mick," exclaimed Tucker Dan 
 as he pulled himself on to the after seat 
 and looked his companion over carefully, 
 " you know darn well how I did that 
 an' it'll cost you something." 
 
 " That what that crab ? " 
 
 " No, Skinny Mick, that wasn't a crab ; 
 that was a whale, and I'll get even." 
 
 " Whale " Mickey chuckled so 
 
 that he forgot the challenge implied in 
 
 the title " Skinny Mick " which was 
 
 never used towards him except as a dare. 
 
 33
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 He laughed so that Tucker began to smile 
 too, and thus the clouds blew over as 
 they waded to shore and beached the 
 boat. 
 
 The sands on the ocean side were firm 
 and the beach a mile or more in length ; 
 so, shoes and stockings in hand, they 
 made for the extreme point near the 
 lighthouse and began to collect clams, 
 seaweed and sticks, and soon had the 
 bake under way. 
 
 It was early yet, and a swim was in 
 order before the clams would be ready. 
 The two undressed and waded out into 
 the sea, and sat down to let the old At- 
 lantic roll over them. They had gone 
 out to their shoulders and ducked once or 
 twice when suddenly Mickey exclaimed, 
 
 " We ain't the only ones on this beach 
 there are other pebbles." 
 
 Tucker looked in the direction indi- 
 cated and dimly saw a man wading in 
 34
 
 Uncle Binny Takes a Swim 
 
 for a swim, some hundreds of yards 
 further down the beach. It was Uncle 
 Binny who, arriving at the beach and 
 seeing no one, had decided to take a 
 plunge himself before the boys came, 
 which he figured would not be for an 
 hour yet. Tucker didn't know it was 
 Uncle Binny, but he did know it was a 
 good opportunity. 
 
 " Get in get in and dress," he shouted 
 to Mickey, and together they rushed 
 ashore unobserved and donned their 
 clothes behind a sand dune. " Say, Mick, 
 how do you feel?" queried Tucker as 
 they finished. 
 
 " Fine ! how's yerself ? " 
 
 " Iligant ! My back feels like a piece 
 er sand paper ; " and Tucker shook the 
 wet sand loose under his clothes. 
 
 " My stomach feels like a balloon ; let's 
 eat clams." 
 
 " Not on your life, Mickey, not yet ; 
 35
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 wait till we fix that lonesome jay down 
 there." 
 
 " Sure," answered Connor ; " but what 
 do you wanter do ? Must be something 
 great the way you skun outer the salty 
 deep." 
 
 " Get his clothes. Any jay that'll 
 bathe on this beach without his clothes 
 in sight needs reforming." 
 
 Mickey glanced down the beach and 
 saw that no pile of clothes was visible. 
 
 "Jumpin' crickets," he exclaimed, 
 "he's left them on the harbor-side, 
 hooray ! " 
 
 " Shut up ; we'll go find 'em and 
 hide 'em ; and then we'll skin back 
 here and sit in the boat an' have a 
 clam," said the younger but leading 
 spirit, Tucker. 
 
 Silently they stole behind the sand- 
 dunes on the harbor side back to where 
 the clothes were found. Mickey kept 
 36
 
 Uncle Binny Takes a Swim 
 
 watch on the bather far out in the shal- 
 low water disporting himself like a water 
 nymph. 
 
 " He's an old guy ; his head is bald, 
 but he can swim like a porpoise." 
 
 " He can can he ? " mused Tuck. 
 "I'll bet dollars to clams that he can 
 swear like a trooper ; wait an' see when 
 he comes out." Then Tucker grabbed 
 all but the coat, shirt and shoes, and 
 made for the boat. 
 
 " I'll leave him enough to go home in," 
 he explained ; " come on, Mickey, and 
 let's hide 'em up the beach." 
 
 "Hook it; he's getting enough," vol- 
 unteered Mickey ; " he's airing himself 
 on the beach now drying off." 
 
 Stealthily they rowed up to where the 
 clams were steaming, and eating a few, 
 set off to hide the clothes behind a sand- 
 dune. Suddenly Tucker Dan seized 
 Mickey by the back of the neck. 
 37
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " Look at those trousers," he whispered, 
 " look at that vest, that watch that 
 that charm." 
 
 " Hully smoke ! yer Uncle Binny's ! " 
 
 The two boys lay down and peered 
 over the edge of a dune, hiding their 
 heads behind the long beach grass. 
 
 " That's Nunc Binny, sure ; that's his 
 bald cocoanut," murmured Tucker Dan, 
 " an' he's hopping mad, too." 
 
 By this time Uncle Binny had dis- 
 covered his loss and was tearing around 
 the beach on the double quick, with a 
 shirt and coat in one hand and a pair of 
 shoes in the other. 
 
 " He ain't in no hurry to dress," re- 
 marked Mickey. " Gee whittiker, Tuck, 
 look at him take that header." 
 
 Uncle Binny had stubbed his toe on a 
 clam shell, and was sliding along the 
 hard beach on his naked chest. 
 
 " He's an athlete," said Tucker proudly. 
 38
 
 Look at those trousers,' 
 he whispered." Page 38.
 
 Uncle Binny Takes a Swim 
 
 " He always did tell how he could do 
 stunts when he was young." 
 
 Uncle Binny was now sitting on the 
 beach near the water's edge holding his 
 toe in his hands and yelling like a wild 
 man with anger and mortification. Sud- 
 denly he bethought himself to don his 
 shirt and coat, and his shoes. 
 
 " He's in fighting trim now," mur- 
 mured Mickey uneasily, as Mr. Binny 
 seized a piece of driftwood and started off 
 on the double quick looking for the 
 thieves. The wind was blowing fresh, 
 and Uncle Binny, dressed in the shirt, 
 coat and shoes, was making good speed 
 against it towards the head of the beach 
 away from the boys. 
 
 " He looks like a ship under full sail," 
 commented Mickey as he saw the bellow- 
 ing of the shirt. 
 
 " Yep, but he's top heavy ; he'd better 
 take a reef or he'll get blown over," 
 39
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 was the answer. " Gee, but can't he 
 sail ? " 
 
 The two miscreants ate clams and 
 watched the lone searcher as he sped 
 away down the beach against the wind. 
 Suddenly Mr. George Binny gave up the 
 chase in that direction and turned back. 
 The wind was behind him now and it 
 was easy running. Tucker Dan had a 
 hot clam half-way down his throat when 
 he saw that the lone runner had turned 
 and was heading for them. Uncle Binny 
 was nearly half a mile off and had evi- 
 dently spied the slight smoke from the 
 clambake. 
 
 " Cheese it," exclaimed Tuck as he 
 coughed up the half-swallowed clam ; 
 " there comes the Flying Dutchman an' 
 the wind's with him." 
 
 Mickey gave a frightened look back 
 and the two boys skedaddled into the 
 boat with the clothes. 
 40
 
 Uncle Binny Takes a Swim 
 
 " Take 'em along," commanded Tucker 
 Dan ; " it's all we have, you know, 
 Mickey, to prove that Uncle Binny's 
 been drownded on the beach." 
 
 Mickey shrieked with delight at the 
 new developments he foresaw. Together 
 the boys rowed for the farthest land- 
 ing, down the harbor and away from the 
 village. 
 
 When Mr. Binny, stick in hand, 
 reached the clambake the two boys were 
 too far away to understand a word he 
 said. Mickey remarked that it sounded 
 like French. "He'll tan you when he 
 gets you, Tuck." 
 
 "Sure but the sun'll tan him first. 
 Did you ever see such a stunt in your life, 
 Mickey ? " 
 
 " Never ; say, Tucker, your Nunc Binny 
 needs an American flag to wrap round 
 him." 
 
 By this time Mr. George Binny was 
 41
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 doing a solitary two step on the top of a 
 sand-dune, and pointing wildly at him- 
 self. Pretending not to have seen him, 
 both boys rowed steadily for the opposite 
 shore where they landed and thought it 
 all over. 
 
 " We better let people think he was 
 drownded; that'll make a fuss," said 
 Tucker Dan. 
 
 " Sure ! but it'll be an awful lie." 
 
 " Leave that to me. You say what I 
 tell you to say, an' it'll only be a white 
 lie ; they don't count," said Tuck as he 
 threw a stone carelessly into a near by 
 tree. 
 
 " All right, and when they come to 
 find him he'll run like a deer again," and 
 both the boys put their hands across their 
 stomachs and doubled up in enjoyment of 
 the picture. 
 
 " Aunt A. A. always said Nunc Binny 
 was too bashful to get along. He'll get 
 42
 
 Uncle Binny Takes a Swim 
 
 along now. I can see him with the wind 
 behind him, and the brethren from his 
 lodge chasing him down that beach now ; 
 can't you, Mickey ? " 
 
 Mickey rolled over on the ground and 
 kicked his heels, shouting, " Oh, gee 
 Tucker Dan ! " 
 
 " What'll folks say about us when they 
 find out?" 
 
 " I dunno, an' I don't care so long as 
 they do the right thing by Nunc Binny 
 and help him in his hour of need." 
 
 The boys walked into the woods near 
 by and sat down to wait and kill time ; 
 while across the harbor on the beach 
 Uncle Binny excavated a hole in the dry 
 sand in the lee of a dune, and waited 
 therein for the shades of night and a 
 chance to return home unobserved.
 
 CHAPTER THREE 
 
 UNCLE BINNY'S RETURN HOME 
 
 (ATE in the afternoon the boys 
 returned to town at a rapid 
 dog-trot, their favorite gait 
 when in action. With them 
 were Uncle Binny's clothes 
 and two or three neighborly 
 dogs that followed them 
 partly from inquisitiveness, and partly be- 
 cause all the dogs knew the pair and en- 
 joyed their company. When near the 
 main street Mickey and Tucker dove into 
 a jewelry store kept by one of Uncle 
 Binny's best friends and threw the clothes 
 breathlessly on the floor. 
 
 " We played hookey, an' was on the 
 beach. We seen a man in the ocean, an' 
 then we didn't see no man in the ocean, 
 44
 
 Uncle Binny's Return Home 
 
 but we found his clothes some of 'em 
 an' they are Nuncle Binny's." This was 
 the literal truth. They deemed it un- 
 necessary to state that when they didn't 
 see the man in the ocean they saw him 
 on land. Such a statement was quite un- 
 called for. Tucker Dan had figured that 
 if people jumped too soon at conclusions 
 it was their own fault. 
 
 The jeweler looked at the clothes and 
 charm. " Your Uncle Binny's sure," 
 he exclaimed. " What was he doing 
 down there on the beach ? " 
 
 " After us, I guess ; wanted to catch 
 me ; took a swim 'cause we wasn't to 
 
 be found, an' now Oh, golly, poor 
 
 Nunc Binny " exclaimed Tucker Dan 
 
 breaking into what sounded like a sob. 
 
 Mr. Orth gazed at the boys. "You 
 saw him in the water and then you 
 didn't see him in the water," he ex- 
 claimed, his face turning pale. 
 45
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " Yes ; that's it that's it ; then we 
 found his clothes." 
 
 " Drowned." Mr. Orth reverently 
 took the clothes behind the counter. 
 " Drowned," he exclaimed hurriedly, and 
 next minute, speaking to his clerk, he 
 dashed out for the police station down the 
 street. Tucker nudged Mickey. " It ain't 
 a lie ; see how it works. We did see him 
 in the ocean, and then we didn't see him 
 in the ocean." 
 
 It wasn't necessary for the boys to do 
 any more talking. Mr. Orth had a crowd 
 around him in about one minute, and in 
 a short time a large search party had 
 formed. 
 
 The stores were closed in town and the 
 party headed for the beach afoot, carrying 
 grappling irons and ropes, while several 
 light skiffs were put into wagons to be 
 carted to the beach and there launched 
 into the Atlantic. Others started to 
 46
 
 Uncle Btnny's Return Home 
 
 row across the harbor for the same pur- 
 pose. 
 
 The two boys were forgotten, and hur- 
 rying back to the outskirts of town they 
 waited anxiously at the place where they 
 had landed from the beach and where 
 their boat lay on the shore. Both were 
 uneasy and getting more so every minute. 
 The magnitude of their work began to 
 awe them. 
 
 " Gee, Tuck, look at the crowd going 
 down the head of the beach. Your Uncle 
 Binny's going to have a big funeral, don't 
 you think ? " exclaimed Mickey doubt- 
 fully. 
 
 " The funeral may be ours," answered 
 Tucker softly as they watched the exodus 
 in the growing twilight. " Nunc Binny 
 will be swooped in pretty soon," he con- 
 tinued. 
 
 " Bet he don't stay on the beach ; bet 
 you he makes a break ; he ain't agoin' 
 47
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 to be caught dressed like a pirate. He 
 never would outgrow it." 
 
 " Cheese it, Mick, look ! For the 
 
 land's sake, there comes Nunc Binny 
 
 now." 
 
 Sure enough ! They could see him 
 rise from his sand-dune, run along the 
 water's edge and roll a log into the har- 
 bor ; next moment he was hanging on to 
 the log and kicking for the mainland in 
 the direction of the boys. He had es- 
 caped detection by the searchers as he was 
 too far down the beach to be seen. 
 Slowly he swam in towards the mainland 
 aided by the current, and the boys 
 watched him anxiously. 
 
 He was evidently tired, but being a 
 good swimmer he had managed to be- 
 stride the log and was taking things easy 
 in the twilight. He had buttoned his 
 coat, and his shirt was still on, so that as 
 he grabbed the log with his hands and 
 48
 
 Uncle Binny 's Return Home 
 
 his legs he created a striking appear- 
 ance. 
 
 " It must be one of those sea-urchins 
 we read about t'other day at school," ex- 
 claimed Mickey with a grin. 
 
 " Nope must be a sea-horse," chuckled 
 Tucker. 
 
 " Haw haw, Tuck. Say, cheese it ; I 
 can't laugh at your Nunc Binny. It's too 
 sad. Look what's up?" 
 
 Mr. George Binny had been discovered 
 by the searchers, and crowds of them 
 lined the harbor edge of the beach, cheer- 
 ing him on in his long swim. They all 
 thought he had drifted and swum into 
 the harbor on the log from the Atlantic 
 outside ; but still they couldn't understand 
 how he happened to get aboard of a log 
 at sea in a half dressed condition. Uncle 
 Binny had no idea of letting them find 
 out ; and when he saw he was discovered 
 and that some boats were after him he 
 49
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 rolled off the log and swam desperately 
 for shore. Those watching afar off 
 cheered at his superb exhibition of phys- 
 ical prowess. As he was nearing the main- 
 land Tucker Dan spoke. 
 
 " Mickey, let's get near home ; he's 
 got to get home." 
 
 The boys were off as night closed in, 
 and Uncle Binny made a landing some 
 distance down the shore. Tuck and his 
 chum soon reached the Binny house, 
 found a good point of vantage behind the 
 back fence and waited. 
 
 The moon was nearly full now, and 
 cast shadows here and there which af- 
 forded good hiding spots for the pair. 
 They could see that Aunt Amy was 
 within the dining-room talking to Mrs. 
 Connor, who was evidently paying her a 
 late call. 
 
 " They're consulting" exclaimed Tuck- 
 er. "They think you an' I are run 
 50
 
 Uncle Bmny's Return Home 
 
 away ; an' Nunc Bmny's too late coming 
 home for comfort." 
 
 " Nobody ain't told 'em he was 
 drownded," said Mickey. " If they had 
 they'd be cryin'." 
 
 " Sure ; but listen ! " 
 
 The drone of the two ladies' voices came 
 wafted to the ears without. Aunt Amy 
 was speaking. 
 
 " No, Mrs. Connor, I never spanked 
 Tucker Dan Pils but once, but when he 
 comes home I'll do it again even if Binny 
 has caught him and done it already." 
 
 " Laws-a-mercy," answered Mrs. Con- 
 nor. " I ain't a goin' to spank Mickey, 
 but his father has just made a nice new 
 whip with four tails to it to-day ; an' he 
 'lows as how Mickey'll be laid up for re- 
 pairs until next fall." 
 
 Mickey stood on one leg behind the 
 fence and listened attentively, while 
 Tucker Dan shuddered and felt cold 
 51
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 chills running down his back at the cold- 
 bloodedness of Aunt Amy. 
 
 Suddenly he grabbed Mickey by his 
 shoulders and pulled him down to a 
 large hole in the fence through which 
 both could peer at once. 
 
 " Look over there near the barn, Mick. 
 There's Nunc Binny." 
 
 He surely was there, standing half in 
 the moonlight and half in the shadow, 
 with his bald head shining like a search- 
 light, his white shirt hanging to his 
 knees and his dark coat buttoned around 
 his manly breast. His shoes looked 
 twice too large for him when contrasted 
 with the tanned skin above. He was 
 undecided as to how to storm the house 
 evidently, but soon ran along the barn 
 and stealthily started to climb the board 
 fence of the yard. 
 
 The two ladies within the house heard 
 a noise, and Aunt Amy cast a glance 
 52
 
 Uncle Binny 's Return Home 
 
 towards the back fence. It was Tucker's 
 favorite way of approach, and when she 
 saw a bare leg with a shoe on it half-way 
 over the fence she decided that Tucker 
 Dan had come at last. She just raised 
 her eyes to Mrs. Connor and said, 
 " Sh keep quiet ; there comes Tucker 
 over the fence. He'll sneak up the back 
 way, and I'll whale him as he goes up- 
 stairs." 
 
 All was quiet ; so Uncle Binny raised 
 himself cautiously over the fence and 
 made for the back door. Mickey whis- 
 pered to Tucker that it was a blamed 
 shame to see a man like him so afraid of 
 his own shadow, and the other scape- 
 grace drily answered that judging from 
 the shape of the shadow it wasn't to be 
 wondered at. 
 
 Uncle Binny opened the kitchen door 
 very softly and started to steal up-stairs. 
 Aunt Amy was waiting behind the hall 
 53 

 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 door for dear Tucker as she thought, and 
 as Mr. Binny took the first step upward 
 she landed with a large flat piece of pine 
 board. 
 
 Mr. Binny went up the stairs four 
 at a time, and dropped in bed with a 
 whoop that made Tucker Dan and 
 Mickey sick with excitement. 
 
 Mrs. Connor when she saw the figure 
 of Uncle Binny bounding up-stairs four 
 at a time flew out of the back door cack- 
 ling like a scared hen ; while Aunt Amy, 
 discovering her mistake, collapsed on the 
 kitchen floor and screamed to Uncle 
 Binny to come down and explain. 
 
 A portentous silence reigned behind 
 the back fence, broken by a whisper from 
 Tucker. 
 
 " Say, Mick, we've gone a bit too far 
 this time. I'm going in to take my 
 medicine." 
 
 " Yep, I'm goin' home to get a lickin', 
 54
 
 The scene that ensued was 
 
 the liveliest of the day." Page 55.
 
 Uncle Binny's Return Home 
 
 too," assented Mick. " Dis here thing is 
 dreadful." 
 
 But they didn't move quickly enough. 
 Uncle Binny had encased himself in a 
 blue and red counterpane, and peering 
 out of the window saw the two lads 
 behind the back fence. Seizing a bed 
 slat, with the agility of a cat he climbed 
 out on to the wood-shed, and next mo- 
 ment jumped down between the two as 
 they unsuspectingly gazed through the 
 fence. 
 
 The scene that ensued was active enough 
 even for Tucker Dan. It was the liveliest 
 of the day. 
 
 55
 
 CHAPTER FOUR 
 
 UNCLE BINNY LOSES CASTE 
 
 BOUT a half mile to the south 
 of the Binny homestead was 
 that of Orlando Martin, a 
 rather prosperous merchant 
 in the town of Sorrento, 
 where the doings herein 
 chronicled took place. Mr. 
 Martin had two daughters, Augusta and 
 Salvina twins ; but why he had called 
 one Salvina nobody ever knew. Some 
 in Sorrento said it was because Mr. 
 Martin was weak-minded from the shock 
 at the time, and insisted on having his 
 own way, despite his wife's desire to call 
 the baby " Welcome." At all events the 
 girls grew up to be as pretty and capti- 
 vating as any one could desire, and they 
 56
 
 Uncle Btnny Loses Caste 
 
 were most astonishingly alike even for 
 twins. 
 
 At the time of the opening of our story 
 the girls were just about thirteen, and 
 scholars at the same school that Tucker 
 Dan and his friend Michael Connor at- 
 tended. Although the little maidens 
 were bowing acquaintances of the two 
 boys, they never allowed Tucker and his 
 chum to break over the line of distant 
 formality ; and in all fairness it must be 
 said that neither of the boys had tried to 
 force his attentions. Except once a few 
 months back when Mickey had surrepti- 
 tiously put a small live lobster on 
 Augusta's back hair as she flew up-stairs 
 to the class-room ; but this friendly ad- 
 vance had worked out in an unexpected 
 manner. Nobody knew who put the 
 crustacean there. The class simply dis- 
 covered it when Augusta stood up to re- 
 cite, and then as the lobster swung its 
 57
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 right arm and hooked a short blow on 
 her neck she discovered it too. The 
 teacher, not knowing what caused the 
 riot, seized the twin by the shoulder. 
 The lobster used its empty left hand this 
 time and hooked successfully on to the 
 teacher's thumb ; and the lady and 
 Augusta, united by a common bond, 
 waltzed down-stairs and out into the 
 playground, where they did a skirt 
 dance. Some one, hearing them, thought 
 there was a fire in the school and turned 
 in an alarm, and the engines arrived just 
 as the lobster let go its grip. Mickey 
 was so scared by the denouement that he 
 went home and hid in the barn, where 
 he contracted pneumonia from which he 
 nearly lost his life. An investigation 
 made at the school pointed to Tucker 
 Dan as the guilty party, he being the 
 acknowledged schemer ; and he was duly 
 disciplined. Mickey confessed to Tucker 
 58
 
 
 Uncle Binny Loses Caste 
 
 on what he thought was his death-bed, 
 and Tuck forgave him. The boys were 
 ever after stancher friends than before, 
 and as Tucker never told, Mickey looked 
 upon him as a hero of great proportions. 
 
 The Martin homestead was surrounded 
 by a splendid lawn, bordered by rose- 
 bushes which were in full bloom, and 
 commanding a view of the fields in the 
 distance and of the Binny home to the 
 north near the woods. 
 
 On the moonlight evening when Uncle 
 Binny returned from his ride on the log 
 in the harbor and was mistaken by Aunt 
 Amy for Tucker Dan, the twin sisters, 
 who were just about to retire, were gazing 
 out of their window on the landscape so 
 brilliantly illuminated by the orb of 
 night, and holding childish and sisterly 
 confidences, for they loved each other 
 dearly. They were young yet. 
 
 " Salvina," began Augusta " Salvina, 
 59
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 I think you're in love with Tucker Dan 
 Pils ; tee hee hee," she chuckled in 
 thirteen-year-old glee at her boldness. 
 
 Salvina looked her sister over very 
 carefully in the moonlight and elevating 
 her clear cut and aristocratic little nose 
 remarked, 
 
 "Tucker always was nice to me, an' 
 mother says he's much nicer than he 
 looks. His Uncle Binny is a nice 
 man, and Tuck comes from a good 
 enough family so if he likes me and I 
 like him there's nothing to prevent our 
 liking each other." 
 
 " Nothing but his grammar and his 
 getting into scrapes and sticking the lob- 
 ster on my back hair," answered the more 
 critical Augusta. 
 
 " Well, your back hair don't count ; be- 
 sides I don't think Tucker did it. I 
 think Mickey Connor was the one that 
 did it, and Tuck got what he oughtn't to 
 60
 
 Uncle Bmny Loses Caste 
 
 got. Besides you haven't anything to 
 say : if you'd only seen yourself dancing 
 rag-time with the teacher and the lobster 
 you'd never say another word regarding 
 anybody's love affairs," retorted Salvina, 
 now thoroughly aroused. 
 
 " Well, you can have Tucker Dan if 
 you want him, but he wouldn't look at 
 you through a smoked glass. No, he 
 wouldn't," and Augusta straightened up 
 ready to defend herself from a possible 
 onslaught. 
 
 " Maybe I'm in love, an' maybe I 
 ain't," returned the smarting Salvina ; 
 " but anyway I'll be true to him and to 
 myself, an' I want you to understand 
 that Tucker Dan Pils does look at me, 
 and he doesn't use a smoked glass either ; 
 and if he looked at you even through a 
 smoked glass it wouldn't do any good : 
 you'd break it into a hundred thousand 
 billion pieces." 
 
 61
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 There was a silence, long drawn and 
 tense ; then Augusta burst into tears. 
 "You're mean, you're as mean as you 
 can be." 
 
 Salvina put her arms around her sis- 
 ter's neck and drew her towards her. 
 " Not so mean as you think, Augusta. 
 I haven't told mama that you sent that 
 rose to Mickey Connor when he was get- 
 ting over the pneumonia ; and I never 
 teased you when I thought you really 
 cared for Mickey although you make fun 
 of him so." 
 
 Augusta swallowed a tear of surprise 
 and acknowledged her guilt, and together 
 the two girls again faced the window and 
 the moonlight, and in silence communed 
 with the spirits of the two distant loved 
 ones. 
 
 It just so happened that at this exact 
 moment Uncle Binny dropped from the 
 roof of the wood-shed, bed slat in hand, 
 62
 
 Uncle Binny Loses Caste 
 
 upon the two unsuspecting loved ones 
 behind the fence. Tucker and Mickey 
 thought an insane wildcat was loose, until 
 the slat began to fly ; then they realized 
 that the apparition in red and blue was 
 Uncle Binny looking for exercise, and 
 together they decided to stretch their legs 
 southward. They had yelled a few times, 
 and the two girls in the Martin home 
 broke their silence at the window. Au- 
 gusta spoke first. 
 
 " Goodness, what was that? " 
 
 " Sounded like a cat fight over near 
 Mr. Binny's." 
 
 " Yes, but did you hear that funny 
 sound? somebody's beating carpets." 
 
 " Funny time to beat carpets, by 
 night," exclaimed Salvina, and the two 
 listened again in amazement. 
 
 Just then Tucker let out his parting 
 shriek, and Mickey cleared a couple of 
 yards in the air and bellowed a reverber- 
 63
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 ating howl that made the twins tremble 
 with fright. 
 
 " It's a human voice," exclaimed Sal- 
 vina. " It's awful, it's a murder no, 
 it's a fight; no, it's Mickey Connor's 
 voice. I'd know it anywhere." 
 
 By this time the rest of the Martin 
 family down-stairs were out on the porch, 
 and the two girls were three-quarters out 
 of the window in the effort to make out 
 what it was that was after the boys. 
 Tucker Dan and Mickey sailed in full 
 flight under the window, and dashed 
 away and beyond, totally oblivious that 
 the twins had seen them. Uncle Binny, 
 suddenly realizing that he was being 
 watched, halted in the distance and 
 waved his bed slat, folding the varie- 
 gated bed quilt carefully around him. 
 He looked like an Indian ; and Tucker 
 Dan, glancing behind him as he ran, 
 quickly realized it. As he dashed past 
 64
 
 Uncle Binny Loses Caste 
 
 the Martin coachman at the barn en- 
 trance he yelled, " He's an Indian, 
 drive him off; he's crazy." 
 
 It happened that there was a gipsy 
 encampment thereabouts, and Mr. Martin 
 and his man lost no time in arming 
 themselves. The coachman, a new man, 
 got a pitchfork and Mr. Martin a re- 
 volver ; and together they made for what 
 they supposed was an Indian on the 
 rampage. 
 
 Uncle Binny had an awful time ahead 
 of him. 
 
 The coachman was fleet of foot. As 
 Mr. Martin fired his revolver in the air 
 and Mr. Binny sprinted for the sake of 
 his reputation, the man with the pitch- 
 fork overtook the fleeing gentleman, and 
 prodded him until he dropped his quilt 
 and cleared the back fence of his house 
 for the second time that night. 
 
 Unfortunately at that instant a dele- 
 65
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 gation from the lodge and several hun- 
 dred of the townspeople were assembled 
 in front of the house to see how Mr. 
 Binny had survived his swim on the log, 
 and to congratulate him on his safety. 
 When they saw Uncle Binny coming over 
 the back fence in the same deshabille as 
 when he bestrode the log, and with Mr. 
 Martin's coachman close behind him, 
 they decided to go home without asking 
 questions of a lunatic. 
 
 It was an awful shock. The crowd 
 simply couldn't stand it. 
 
 66
 
 CHAPTER FIVE 
 
 THE DOCTOR INTERVIEWS MICKEY 
 
 jN the desperate race from Un- 
 cle Binny's vengeance Tuck- 
 er Dan had escaped un- 
 scathed, but Mickey wasn't 
 so fortunate. As he followed 
 his friend around the Martin 
 barn he stumbled, slightly 
 spraining his ankle, and not being in 
 a particularly good humor he yelled un- 
 til the chickens in the hen-house near by 
 started a discordant chorus. 
 
 These very yells lent speed to the 
 coachman and to Mr. Martin in their 
 wild chase after the Indian, for they felt 
 certain that the aborigine had mauled the 
 boy. Mrs. Martin in her sympathy ran 
 out with the maid and helped Connor up 
 67
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 and told him she was sorry ; and together 
 these two led him into the dining-room 
 and gently laid him on a couch. Then 
 they bathed and stroked and pulled his 
 leg until Mickey felt he was in a place 
 too good to be real. He accepted a drink 
 of claret and controlled himself as became 
 a wounded gentleman. Tucker Dan came 
 in cautiously, and quickly understood 
 that Mickey was nine-tenths shamming ; 
 but seeing a good opportunity of improv- 
 ing acquaintance with the twins who 
 had hurriedly dressed and were stand- 
 ing in pained alarm on the staircase 
 he subtly suggested something about 
 Mickey having once broken that very 
 ankle, and did they suppose a doctor 
 was necessary ? 
 
 It was a good play. Mrs. Martin 
 
 'phoned immediately for the nearest 
 
 surgeon. Although the Connors and 
 
 she didn't belong to the same social 
 
 68
 
 The Doctor Interviews Mickey 
 
 set exactly, Mrs. Martin was no stickler 
 for such matters when a boy was almost 
 dead with an injury that might cripple 
 him for years if not for life. So they 
 took him up-stairs and laid him on a 
 bed. 
 
 Augusta hovered about the room door 
 in great anxiety, and Salvina out in the 
 hall listened to Tucker's account of just 
 how it happened. He hadn't the vaguest 
 idea of how it had happened, but that 
 made no difference. He held his end up 
 wonderfully well, and Mickey, who over- 
 heard the account, decided that his friend 
 needed no help. 
 
 Mrs. Connor and the maid left the room 
 for a moment, and Augusta slipped in, 
 and stealing softly up to the couch, looked 
 sorrowfully at the injured one. Mickey 
 saw her expression and made his own 
 very pained and disconsolate. 
 
 The heart of the pretty little maid, 
 69
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 already badly touched, completely gave 
 way, and putting her hand upon Mickey's 
 manly brow she whispered softly, " I'm 
 awfully sorry Mr. Mr. " 
 
 " Make it plain Mickey," exclaimed 
 the invalid with a tender grin ; " the 
 plainer the better." 
 
 "Mickey," half sobbed Augusta, "it 
 must be awful." 
 
 " It is," murmured Mickey " it's the 
 awfullest sufferin' man ever endured." 
 
 Augusta cast a last look of tenderness 
 at him and tiptoed out of the room before 
 her mother returned. As Augusta stole 
 out Tucker Dan stole in and stood by the 
 couch of suffering. 
 
 " You darn faker, you " he whis- 
 pered wrathfully. 
 
 " It does hurt," answered Mickey. 
 " Anyway I got to back you up, ain't I ? " 
 
 " Well," drawled Tucker ; " here comes 
 your finish ; " and Mickey squirmed as 
 70
 
 The Doctor Interviews Mickey 
 
 he heard the heavy tread of the surgeon 
 who was just then admitted to the front 
 hall. 
 
 Dr. Nash was the most popular mem- 
 ber of the profession for miles around, 
 and a surgeon of considerable ability. 
 What he knew he knew well, and what 
 he didn't know didn't worry him. The 
 consequence was that he got along fa- 
 mously, considering that he weighed three 
 hundred and twenty-two pounds, and 
 that when he operated he couldn't al- 
 ways see his fingers, owing to a marvel- 
 ous corporosity. He had dainty hands 
 and always kept them immaculately 
 clean, and wore the best clothes that he 
 could buy, regardless of cost. Besides 
 these attributes he had a handsome face, 
 and an over-developed sense of humor. 
 If he was about to perform a very serious 
 operation he always preceded it with a 
 few stories, because, as he said, he rarely 
 71
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 felt so happy afterwards and the patients 
 never did. 
 
 When the doctor entered the room poor 
 Mickey nearly had a fit. He had never 
 seen him so close before, and the room 
 seemed all doctor and no Mickey. 
 
 Dr. Nash sat down on the strongest 
 chair he could find and glanced search- 
 ingly at the patient. His experienced 
 eye told him the boy was not really suf- 
 fering much, so he began his interview in 
 the way best suited to disprove Mickey's 
 story. 
 
 " Hurt much, my boy ? " 
 
 " Yessir." 
 
 "Where?" 
 
 11 Ankle." 
 
 By this time the dexterous fingers of 
 the surgeon were sliding over the bones 
 in a fatherly sort of a way. The boy 
 squealed once or twice, making the 
 women folk gasp in sympathy. 
 72
 
 The Doctor Interviews Mickey 
 
 " That certainly is a terribly painful 
 injury, my boy," exclaimed the doctor as 
 he gazed long and searchingly at Mickey 
 in a way that gave the horrors to the cul- 
 prit. 
 
 Tucker Dan, standing at the foot of the 
 couch, understood. " He's on he's on 
 to Mickey. Mickey, you're up against 
 it," he thought. 
 
 Dr. Nash got up slowly and ponder- 
 ously, and nodding to Mrs. Martin led 
 the way to the parlor, saying as he dis- 
 appeared, " Let's talk this over, Mrs. 
 Martin ; it is a serious injury." 
 
 Tucker Dan never smiled, and Mickey 
 couldn't have smiled if he had had to. 
 He had begun to feel nervous. There 
 was Augusta to whom he must enact the 
 part of a hero, and there was the doctor 
 ready for business. 
 
 He eyed Tucker Dan ; but his chum 
 
 shook his head sorrowfully. 
 T3
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " Doc thinks it is pretty bad. Did you 
 see how he shook his head ? That means 
 yer foot's broke." 
 
 Just then Dr. Nash's voice came wafted 
 in from the parlor to Mickey. 
 
 "Have you a good table you can let 
 me have, Mrs. Martin ? one that will 
 hold the boy if he struggles, you know. 
 Ether makes them awful sick." 
 
 Mickey didn't suspect that Dr. Nash 
 had told Mrs. Martin in a whisper that 
 the injured boy was largely fooling them ; 
 nor did he know that Mrs. Martin had 
 entered into the spirit of the doctor's 
 humor. 
 
 " Well, doctor, we have the kitchen 
 table, and Mr. Martin and the coachman 
 will soon be back ; they can hold him no 
 matter how he cuts up. What are you 
 going to do?" 
 
 " Well, the boy needs to have consider- 
 able setting done ; and, by the way, my 
 74
 
 The Doctor Interviews Mickey 
 
 saw is rusty ; have you one of those long 
 bread knives with ragged edges ? They 
 make elegant bone saws. We'll sterilize 
 it and it will do. Nothing like knowing 
 how to get along in an emergency." 
 
 Dr. Nash had so controlled his voice 
 that it came very indistinctly to Mickey. 
 
 " We'll telephone for another doctor, 
 and finish this job right now ; and then 
 to-morrow the boy can go to the hospital. 
 His father ought to stand fifty dollars for 
 my services, don't you think so, Mrs. 
 Martin ? " 
 
 11 Surely." 
 
 "Fifty dollars," murmured Mickey ; 
 " did you hear that, Tuck ? " 
 
 " Sure, but it's got to be done." 
 
 " Fifty dollars ! that means fifty inches 
 of skin off my back when the old man 
 gets the bill," murmured Mickey ; " an' 
 
 ether, an' a sterilized bread knife 
 
 Oh, Lord ! " 
 
 75
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 The cold perspiration was trickling 
 down Mickey's back. Cautiously he 
 moved his foot ; it worked all right. 
 Then he measured with his eye the dis- 
 tance to the nearest window and rose from 
 his couch, seizing his stocking and his 
 shoe. 
 
 Dr. Nash was coming, and remarking 
 to Mrs. Martin as he came, "I'll break 
 the news to the boy now. It must be." 
 
 " You'll break nothing of the sort," 
 yelled Mickey as he sprang over the table 
 and gracefully mounted the window sill. 
 He made a grab for the rain pipe outside, 
 and swung on to it like a monkey. 
 Whooping with fright he slid down, and 
 in a flash struck something soft and wet 
 at the bottom. Then those above heard 
 an appalling sound like a whale spouting ; 
 and Tucker yelled, " Gosh ! Mick's in the 
 rain barrel." 
 
 All hands flew to the rescue ; but all 
 76
 
 The Doctor Interviews Mickey 
 
 they saw was a lone figure, wet to the 
 skin, loping, shoe in hand across the 
 moonlit field. 
 
 "Where's that Tucker Dan?" asked 
 the doctor suddenly. 
 
 Then the gentle moonlight revealed 
 another figure, sprinting in the track of 
 the first. 
 
 77
 
 CHAPTER SIX 
 
 UNCLE BINNY'S MISTAKE 
 
 NCLE BINNY'S popularity 
 suffered a great shock when 
 it became known that he 
 was not insane. Had he 
 been a sufferer from mental 
 trouble his fellow citizens 
 would have been sorry ; but 
 as it was, they felt that such conduct in a 
 citizen and a church member was unbe- 
 coming to say the least. When they 
 thought of how they had organized search 
 parties and scoured the beach, and after- 
 wards gone to congratulate Mr. Binny on 
 his safe arrival home, only to witness 
 him hurdling over the back fence in the 
 full enjoyment of his health, they felt ag- 
 grieved. 
 
 Y8
 
 Uncle Btnny's Mistake 
 
 Strangely no one blamed Tucker Dan 
 for thinking his uncle had been drowned ; 
 and nobody on the other hand could for- 
 give Mr. Binny for letting his wife spank 
 him. Every one blamed him for chasing 
 Tucker Dan Pils and Mickey Connor 
 across country, and then being such a 
 coward as to run away from Mr. Martin 
 and his coachman. This argued that if 
 Mr. Binny couldn't control his temper 
 and his courage better than that he was 
 a mighty poor specimen of a house 
 owner. 
 
 Mr. Binny endeavored to explain once 
 or twice ; but he never got very far before 
 he realized that he was on a wave of un- 
 popularity, and quit in disgust. When 
 he finally got hold of Tucker he actually 
 didn't dare whip him, so cowed was he 
 by public opinion ; and even Aunt Amy 
 never said a word to the boy, out of sheer 
 mortification at herself and the most un- 
 79
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 usual and unheard of cuttings up of her 
 hitherto esteemed spouse. 
 
 All the recent adventures preyed on 
 Mr. Binny's mind, and he formed the 
 habit of taking long walks into the coun- 
 try alone. Now as a matter-of-fact, he 
 was as nice an old gentleman as one 
 could find in a day's journey ; but he was 
 discouraged and the blues had him, and 
 he must needs walk them off or burst. 
 
 The more he worried, the more he de- 
 cided to fix Tucker Dan at the first oppor- 
 tunity. Uncle Binny was losing hope and 
 temper, and it rankled him to see the wan 
 smile on his wife's face whenever he went 
 up the back stairs in a sprightly manner. 
 
 Tucker was quietly studying his uncle 
 all this while, and he didn't like the 
 symptoms. One morning Mickey met 
 him on the way to school and started in 
 with the query, 
 
 " What ails yer Nuncle Binny? " 
 80
 
 Uncle Bmny's Mistake 
 
 " Uncle's got the thinks." 
 
 " That must be it. I seen him out in 
 the woods t'other day with a hatchet cut- 
 ting out a handle on a board. The board 
 was looking something like a pocket sized 
 brickbat. When he got through, I seen 
 him stick it in his hip pocket." 
 
 Tucker thought pensively for a mo- 
 ment. 
 
 " Mick," he said finally, " that small 
 sized bat was made for yours truly." 
 
 " Gosh, Tuck, ain't you had yer lickin' 
 yet?" 
 
 " Nope ; but there are signs in the sky, 
 dear Michael." 
 
 " I'm sorry," exclaimed Mickey ; " I'm 
 sorry, Tuck. You see I'm well over 
 mine ; I'm convalescing." 
 
 " Yep," said Tucker Dan bravely ; " but 
 when Uncle Binny breaks loose he'll be a 
 cyclone. He ain't blowed off good an' 
 hard since I've known him." 
 81
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " Gee ; them's the worst kind. You 
 better see Dr. Nash and get something be- 
 fore it begins. Anyway I'll tell Salvina 
 to send you flowers when it happens." 
 Mickey dodged behind a tree in time to 
 miss the apple which Tucker fired at 
 him. The latter, thoroughly angry at 
 such remarks, chased Mickey into the 
 basement of the schoolroom and sat on 
 his chest as soon as he could. 
 
 " Mick," said he, " never drag a lady's 
 name into any such a thing as that. If 
 you do I'll punch you." 
 
 Mickey squirmed on the floor and sud- 
 denly arched his back. Tuck lost his 
 balance and fell headlong into the ash 
 bin near by. He was up in a second, 
 looking like a fricasseed oyster, and blind 
 with dust and ashes started headlong 
 after Mickey up the stairs, forgetting that 
 the school bell had rung a moment be- 
 fore. Mickey disappeared somewhere, 
 82
 
 Uncle Bmny's Mistake 
 
 and Tucker landed with a bound in front 
 of the teacher, a little man with a kindly 
 face and named O'Hara, who threw up 
 his arm in self-defense at sight of the ash- 
 covered intruder. Tucker Dan thought 
 it was Mickey continuing the fight, and 
 in his blinded condition swung low and 
 caught the pedagogue on the jaw as he 
 ducked to save himself. 
 
 Mr. O'Hara fell forward on his knees, 
 butted his head against the floor and 
 went to sleep. It was a dreadful mis- 
 take. 
 
 In about a second Tucker had shaken 
 the ashes out of his eyes ; and when he 
 saw what he had done he made for the 
 woods. He did not wait to call back 
 to his schoolmates who seemed to have 
 suddenly organized a gigantic chorus. 
 Neither did he run any faster when he 
 heard Mickey shouting at the top of 
 his voice, " Run, Tucker, run like Hali- 
 83
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 fax." He didn't run faster because he 
 couldn't. He heard his hip joints creak 
 as he flew along, and he knew they 
 needed oil, but it was too late to argue 
 that matter. The wind blew the ashes 
 behind him, and pedestrians stopped in 
 amazement to see the curious color of his 
 hair. They started in pursuit when the 
 true nature of the thing was explained to 
 them by the lady teacher who rushed 
 frantically to the street. 
 
 Tucker Dan glanced behind him and 
 saw the crowd growing, and heard the 
 patter of the pursuing feet. " Gosh, I'm 
 a pill this time sure ! " said he fervently. 
 
 He was naturally very fleet of foot, and 
 had always prided himself that he could 
 outrun any fellow in town except Mickey ; 
 but he was now conscious that some one 
 was not far behind him. Some one who 
 ran lightly with an easy stride like his 
 own, and who seemed to be gaining. 
 84
 
 Uncle Binny's Mistake 
 
 Tuck did not dare to look back lest he 
 should lose speed, and he couldn't let out 
 any more reefs, so he gritted his teeth and 
 worked his legs like pistons and thought. 
 He was in sight of the woods, but al- 
 though he was gaining on the crowd he 
 couldn't shake off the runner behind 
 him. He could hear the ominous growls 
 from the distant pursuers, and he knew 
 what it meant but he couldn't hear any- 
 thing from the fellow behind him except 
 his lightly falling feet. 
 
 "That fellow's got Tucker Dan Pils 
 this time," he thought. " My jig's up ; 
 he's a wonder." 
 
 Closer came the footfalls behind, and it 
 was evident Tucker could not get away. 
 His heart sank within him, but suddenly 
 the pursuer spoke, and the culprit re- 
 vived. 
 
 " Run," cried the voice, " run like the 
 devil. I'm wid you." 
 85
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " Mickey," exclaimed Tucker in a joy- 
 ous gasp. 
 
 " Yes, it's Mick but don't stop. Re- 
 member I'm trying to catch you. Ye're 
 a murderer, Tuck he's dead as a 
 clam." 
 
 That was enough for Tucker Dan. He 
 let out the last ounce of strength and 
 dashed into the woods, where Mickey 
 overhauled him ; and together they ran a 
 short distance and sat down behind a 
 fallen tree. 
 
 " How did you do it, Tuck ? " queried 
 Mickey in deepest sympathy. 
 
 " I thought he was you, and I let go at 
 him. Is he sure enough dead ? " 
 
 " He's stiff as a board, Tuck ; you bet- 
 ter go home before the crowd comes." 
 
 Tucker Dan stood up, and looking at 
 Mickey said his voice trembling with 
 emotion, " Mick, you an' I have been 
 friends ; will we always be friends ? " 
 86
 
 Uncle Binny' s Mistake 
 
 " Always, Tuck ; an' when dey hangs 
 you it'll break me all up." 
 
 " Yep, me, too," murmured Tucker ; 
 " and oh, say, Mick, I can't stand it." 
 Then he led the way through the woods 
 and across the field homeward. 
 
 " I might as well tell Uncle Binny," he 
 continued bravely. " I didn't mean to do 
 it, but it's done and we'll never go out 
 together any more, Mick." 
 
 Both boys were feeling pretty blue by 
 this time. The magnitude of the catas- 
 trophe had come to both of them in its 
 full seriousness, and naturally Tucker 
 wanted the love and protection of Uncle 
 Binny. It was an awful position for the 
 boy, and he turned where nature prompted 
 him. 
 
 Uncle Binny was sitting on the door- 
 steps admiring the hen-house when 
 Tucker hove in sight, with Mickey some 
 way behind ; for Mickey couldn't stand 
 87
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 the horror of it, and had let Tucker Dan 
 advance alone. 
 
 " Uncle Binny, I've done an awful 
 thing. I didn't mean to. I'm a mu- 
 
 mud " poor Tucker Dan couldn't say 
 
 any more ; he was utterly overcome. 
 
 Uncle Binny needed no further en- 
 lightenment ; this was his long-waited 
 for opportunity. He saw the boy's 
 clothes ground with ashes, and his hat- 
 less head covered with the same product ; 
 and he knew by the culprit's general 
 appearance that he had done something 
 dreadful this time. 
 
 " Ah ha ! " quoth Uncle Binney as he 
 stood up and reached into his hip pocket. 
 " Ah ha, you certainly are a mu-mud 
 whatever you call yourself. Mudlark, 
 eh ? Well, here's to you." 
 
 Saying which he seized the utterly 
 collapsed Tucker Dan and started in 
 with the pocket edition of the brick- 
 88
 
 " The gun was loaded 
 with bird shot." Page 89.
 
 Uncle Binny's Mistake 
 
 bat. Tucker was right when he fore- 
 told a cyclone. Uncle Binny worked 
 like a hero, and polished the boy in 
 all directions. Mickey came up and 
 danced round like a crazed hen try- 
 ing to explain, but Uncle Binny didn't 
 hear. 
 
 Suddenly the shouts of the pursuers 
 were heard, and Tucker Dan by a su- 
 preme effort got loose and skinned 
 through the fence, and ran for the fields 
 in the distance. 
 
 Now the Martin coachman, hearing 
 the racket, seized a shotgun that stood 
 in the barn and joined in the chase of 
 what he supposed was a thief. Hearing 
 some one yell " Stop the murderer ! " the 
 man got excited and blazed away at the 
 fugitive. Tucker Dan was a long way 
 off and the gun was loaded with bird 
 shot, but he leaped in the air with a 
 cry as a dozen or so of the missiles 
 89
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 struck him then he tottered, and fell 
 into the arms of Uncle Binny, who had 
 heard from the crowd the true story, and 
 who now hugged the maltreated and un- 
 fortunate boy in a paroxysm of grief. 
 
 90
 
 CHAPTER SEVEN 
 
 AT THE HOSPITAL 
 
 O kill a man under any cir- 
 cumstances is an unpleas- 
 ant affair, though sometimes 
 there are conditions govern- 
 ing the act that tend to 
 lessen the pang of the after- 
 thoughts ; but to kill a man 
 by mistake when one simply meant to 
 flatten the fist against a friend's head, 
 is very distressing to say the least. 
 
 Tucker Dan had plenty of time to 
 think. 
 
 They took him to the hospital ; he 
 himself wished to go home, and did not 
 understand why they were so emphatic 
 about the hospital until later. After 
 they had put him in a cot he was 
 91
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 deeply worried to catch a glimpse of 
 Tim Flaherty, the thinnest and nearest- 
 sighted policeman in town, seated outside 
 in the hall near the ward door. 
 
 Every time Tucker looked around 
 the ward and towards the windows Mr. 
 Flaherty wheeled in his chair in the 
 hall and gazed pensively at him through 
 his thick glasses. Then Tucker Dan be- 
 gan to understand. He was pretty well 
 quenched, and the shot had not yet been 
 removed, but he would have taken any 
 reasonable opportunity for flight. But 
 Flaherty, although near-sighted, was 
 noted for his nimbleness of foot, and 
 the opportunity was not yet come. 
 
 Through all the dismal despair of the 
 occasion there was one ray of hope, how- 
 ever. Mr. O'Hara was not yet quite dead. 
 He was in the hospital somewhere and 
 Dr. Nash was trying to revive him, aided 
 by the members of the house staff. 
 92
 
 At the Hospital 
 
 The nurse told Tucker Dan that there 
 was a slim chance, and strongly advised 
 him to wait. Anyway he felt that the 
 brickbat and the bird shot had lamed 
 him too much to justify immediate ac- 
 tion, and he realized that to-morrow the 
 effect would be even more noticeable. It 
 was this realization perhaps that made 
 sorrow heaviest on his young head. He 
 must needs be patient. If his dear friend 
 Mickey would only come ! 
 
 He glanced at the door, and lo and 
 behold there was Mick, hat in hand, 
 entering sideways like a crab, both his 
 eyes on Tim Flaherty. Never in all 
 his life had Mickey been so respect- 
 ful. 
 
 " Tucker Dan," came in a soft whisper. 
 
 " Mick." 
 
 " Keep yer back up, Tuck ; he's still 
 breathin' ; dey's goin' to put three pans 
 in his skull, Dr. Nash says." 
 93
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Dr. Nash came around just then and 
 looked at Tucker's injuries. 
 
 " Say, Doc," murmured the boy, " is he 
 goin' to die ? " 
 
 The physician shook his head non- 
 committally. 
 
 Tucker Dan in his worriment blurted 
 out, " You're goin' to put pans in his 
 head?" 
 
 " Pans? " said the astonished doctor. 
 
 " Three pans," supplemented Mick anx- 
 iously. " I heard 'em talking about it in 
 the hall." 
 
 Whatever Dr. Nash felt like inside he 
 looked outwardly very solemn. " Oh, 
 trephine, you mean ! Yes, we may have 
 to do that. But meanwhile we'll take 
 the shot out of your hide, Tucker Dan." 
 
 But Tucker protested vigorously. 
 " Nope, if O'Hara dies these stay with 
 me. I deserve 'em, an' I'll keep 'em." 
 
 No amount of persuasion could affect 
 94
 
 At the Hospital 
 
 the boy ; and finally they decided to let 
 the shot remain for the time being rather 
 than use force with him, as he was gen- 
 uinely and greatly affected by the events 
 of the day, and in poor condition for 
 much harassment. 
 
 It was astonishing the number of 
 friends who came to see Tucker Dan. 
 Even Mr. Martin came and brought Sal- 
 vina and Augusta. The coachman didn't 
 come because he was detained by the 
 police, awaiting the effect of Tucker 
 Dan's injuries. 
 
 What Tucker couldn't understand was 
 why Uncle Binny hadn't been arrested 
 too. Many had seen him at work ; but 
 although the injuries he inflicted were 
 worse to Tucker Dan than those inflicted 
 by the coachman, he still remained at 
 large. 
 
 Mickey remarked from behind Au- 
 gusta's shoulder, "Yer Nuncle Binny 
 95
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 was a terrible cyclone, Tuck," and Tucker 
 Dan glowered in mortification as he 
 caught Salvina in a broad grin. " He'd 
 ought to be arrested, too," he murmured. 
 
 " No," said Mr. Martin smiling, trying 
 to keep the boy's courage up ; " anybody 
 who can raise the wind never gets arrested 
 nowadays." 
 
 " Hully gee," Mickey bawled in appre- 
 ciation. Salvina snickered and Tucker 
 Dan couldn't keep serious any longer. 
 
 " That's it, Mr. Martin. Uncle Binny 
 raises too much dust," he remarked with 
 a twinkle. 
 
 " Oh," exclaimed Augusta. 
 
 " No, you don't mean ' Oh ' ; you 
 mean dough," corrected Mickey. 
 
 Flaherty from his seat in the hall over- 
 heard the remarks and the chuckle that 
 came from Tucker Dan, who had nearly 
 forgotten his woes in the lively company. 
 So Flaherty looked in at the party and 
 96
 
 At the Hospital 
 
 suggested pleasantly that Mr. Binny had 
 been on a bat or the bat had been on 
 Tucker Dan ; Flaherty didn't know which. 
 
 At this Tucker Dan got mad through 
 and through and growled, but Salvina 
 sat on the edge of the bed and kicked 
 her heels, and Mickey and Augusta tee- 
 hee-d so loudly that the nurse came 
 around and cautioned them. Anyway 
 Tucker Dan never forgave Flaherty for 
 making such a remark before Salvina, 
 and he then and there made up his mind 
 to get even some day. 
 
 Soon the girls and their father started 
 to go, and Salvina, lingering ever so little 
 behind the others, cautiously slipped a 
 rosebud into Tucker's hands. The boy 
 hid it beneath the bedclothes lest Mickey 
 should see, and before he could thank 
 the pretty little maid she was gone. Au- 
 gusta, too, had a rose, however, when she 
 came in ; and glancing sidewise, Tucker 
 97
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Dan saw her slipping it to Mickey, who 
 grabbed at it eagerly. 
 
 " I brought it for Tuck because he's 
 sick ; but I'd rather you'd keep it, 'cause 
 he ain't sick enough," she said beneath 
 her breath to Mickey as she followed her 
 sister out. Mickey looked after her and 
 then at Tucker Dan guiltily. The inva- 
 lid maintained a severe calmness that 
 was baffling, pretending not to have seen 
 any of the byplay. 
 
 Then Connor began : " You needn't be 
 afraid to show that rose, Tuck ; I know 
 you got it under the clothes." 
 
 " That's better than taking a rose that 
 wasn't brought for you. You're second 
 choice, Mickey, gimme that rose you 
 got." 
 
 " Nit," answered Mick blushing ; " when 
 you're sick I'm second choice maybe ; 
 but I'm first choice when you're well. 
 You're well now." 
 98
 
 At the Hospital 
 
 The argument might have grown warm 
 but that Tim Flaherty stuck his head 
 through the door and remarked caustic- 
 ally, " One'd think you'se were goin' to 
 have a funeral, seein' the number of 
 flowers you'se getting. Or begorra, is it 
 a couple of marriages that's coming off? " 
 
 Mickey and Tucker Dan ground their 
 teeth in dismay. Tim Flaherty was the 
 last man in the world they would have 
 trusted with their heart secrets ; and now 
 he had seen it all and wasn't a bit anxious 
 to let them off easily. 
 
 " It seems to me," he continued, " that 
 ye be getting pretty daring to be love- 
 making at yer tender years. You boys'll 
 get a tattoo played on yer if you don't 
 manage to do better'n that. I'll have to 
 tell me chums on the force to keep an eye 
 on yez." 
 
 Tucker Dan was getting blue in the 
 face and was about to say something rash, 
 99
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 -when Dr. Nash again hove in sight and 
 stood at the foot of the bed, a monumen- 
 tal mass of flesh and good nature. 
 
 " O'Hara has come to. You're safe, 
 Tucker Dan Pils." 
 
 The victim forgot all about Flaherty in 
 the exuberance of his joy, and Mickey 
 forgot his respect for the man of surgery 
 and remarked, " Bully for you, Doc." 
 
 The doctor sat down side wise to the bed 
 so that he could get nearer, and said 
 something to the patient, who turned 
 half over. 
 
 " All right," said Tucker Dan pointing 
 vaguely to his back ; " life is worth living 
 now, Doc ; you can pick the shot out 
 now." An4 for two hours Dr. Nash 
 picked. 
 
 Meanwhile Flaherty went home, and 
 
 Tom Hooley, another member of the force, 
 
 took his place on the chair in ,the hall. 
 
 Hooley was a wonder. He was the next 
 
 100
 
 At the Hospital 
 
 biggest man to Dr. Nash in the county. 
 He weighed two hundred and ninety, but 
 was so short that they gave him regular 
 sitting jobs only. He had been quite 
 slim when he joined the force ten years 
 before, but he had grown like a porpoise, 
 and was now no good on the beat ; though 
 he could hold a chair down like a rivet. 
 He was the exact opposite to Flaherty in 
 appearance, and was the best laugher in 
 the district. When he spied Dr. Nash 
 picking shot from Tucker Dan he started 
 in to laugh quietly, and he kept it up 
 so long that he set his chair to thumping, 
 and all the convalescent patients in the 
 ward, who couldn't see into the hall 
 grew anxious to know what kind of a 
 machine had been put up there. 
 
 Finally Dr. Nash finished with the 
 
 shot picking, and, followed by the house 
 
 staff at a respectful distance, he made for 
 
 the door in a dignified stride. Just at 
 
 101
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 this very moment Hooley suddenly made 
 up his mind that he needed a drink, and, 
 rising from his chair in the hall, made for 
 the water tank just inside the ward door. 
 
 In this life things sometimes happen in 
 a most curious manner. Hooley had 
 been thirsty for an hour and why 
 did he make up his mind to drink at just 
 the wrong moment? 
 
 Dr. Nash didn't see him, neither did 
 he see Dr. Nash ; but in about two 
 seconds they came together bows on, at 
 the threshold. Hooley got an awful jolt, 
 and Dr. Nash tottered in his tracks. 
 Next instant they both advanced again 
 on the recoil, and both got wedged in the 
 doorway. Hooley faced north into the 
 ward, Dr. Nash faced south into the hall, 
 and neither could budge an inch. There 
 they stood pressed like sardines in a box, 
 and Hooley commenced to laugh. He 
 gave one roar and the expanding of his 
 102
 
 At the Hospital 
 
 side crushed Dr. Nash so that the physi- 
 cian took a long breath in reprisals and 
 crushed Hooley. 
 
 The ward was an interesting place for 
 anybody just then. 
 
 " Mickey, for the love of Moses, bust 
 that formation ; rush the centre," yelled 
 Tucker Dan sitting up in bed ; and 
 Mickey, remembering that he owed Dr. 
 Nash somewhat for professional services 
 at the Martin house a few weeks before, 
 took a flying leap at the back of that gen- 
 tleman's knees ; and the wedge collapsed 
 like a balloon. 
 
 Dr. Nash's spotless clothes now looked 
 second hand, and Hooley's uniform would 
 have made a good souvenir. Mickey dis- 
 appeared as Dr. Nash bowed low to 
 Hooley and as Hooley bowed lower to 
 the doctor. The incident was closed, 
 but there was no sleep until late in the 
 ward that night. 
 
 103
 
 CHAPTER EIGHT 
 
 AN ATTACK OF THE GOUT 
 
 NCLE BINNY took to his bed 
 and stayed there for some 
 time. The minister called 
 to see him two or three times 
 and talked with him on the 
 mistakes of life and how easy 
 it was to rectify them. Dr. 
 Nash interviewed him once and then told 
 Aunt Amy that it was a clear case of the 
 " mortifications " and that time would 
 cure him ; and if it didn't, he would ad- 
 vise her to get a divorce and let some one 
 else have him. Aunt Amy felt quite 
 hurt at the doctor's levity, especially 
 when she remembered that it was largely 
 her fault that her husband had developed 
 a retiring disposition. 
 104
 
 An Attack of the Gout 
 
 Tucker Dan improved rapidly and Mr. 
 O'Hara got well without any kitchen 
 utensils being inserted in his skull ; and 
 together they left the hospital in the same 
 carriage. O'Hara bore no hard feelings, 
 for he realized the nature of the accident, 
 and besides he had had a week's rest and 
 considerable comfort at the hospital ; in 
 fact, much more than he had ever en- 
 joyed before in the same length of time. 
 Uncle Binny expected to pay the bill ; so 
 that made O'Hara's enforced vacation a 
 godsend, for he was a school-teacher, 
 drawing the usual manly salary and he 
 needed the rest. 
 
 Tucker Dan upon his arrival home 
 went up-stairs to see Uncle Binny and to 
 forgive him for what he had done. 
 Uncle Binny looked careworn and sour, 
 and Tucker Dan pitied him from the bot- 
 tom of his heart. 
 
 Mr. Binny sat in an armchair, in his 
 105
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 dressing-gown, a syphon of soda on 
 the table and a pitcher of milk along- 
 side. It was evident he was on a 
 light diet. When he saw his nephew 
 he winced and extended his hand 
 slowly. 
 
 " Tucker," he murmured, " the brick- 
 batting was a mistake." 
 
 " It was, uncle." 
 
 " Yes, a painful mistake, if I remember 
 correctly, Tucker Dan." 
 
 " Yessir." 
 
 "Well, you're all healed up now, so 
 come and kneel at the side of your 
 mother's brother, my boy." 
 
 Tucker Dan went, and looking up at 
 the weasened face was suddenly seized 
 with contrition. " I am going to reform, 
 uncle," he whispered. 
 
 " So am I," blurted out Mr. Binny ; 
 then seeing his mistake, he corrected 
 himself. " You need to, Tucker Dan 
 106
 
 An Attack of the Gout 
 
 Pils, if anybody does ; you and your dear 
 friend Mickey." 
 
 " Will I have to start in on milk and 
 soda, uncle, and will I have to keep my- 
 self in the house, where nobody can size 
 me up ? " There was a sly flash in 
 Tucker Dan's near eye as he spoke. 
 
 Uncle Binny squirmed in his chair and 
 said, " My milk diet, Tuck, is for the 
 gout." 
 
 " I don't see why you need anything 
 like that. Dr. Nash told me you had the 
 1 mortifications ' t' other day at the hos- 
 pital, and I thought maybe if I had the 
 1 sorrows ' for what I'd done, I'd get the 
 same dose." 
 
 Uncle Binny stood up in an instant. 
 " Darn that mountainous mass of fat ; 
 darn that Nash anyway. He said that, 
 did he? He'll never doctor me any 
 more." Then Uncle Binny heaved a 
 magazine at the syphon of soda. 
 107
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 It hit. There was a great explosion, 
 and the milk pitcher responded promptly, 
 bordering the picture of the Prodigal Son 
 on the wall with a layer of milk. Tucker 
 Dan went under the table and thence he 
 slid backwards under the bed. 
 
 Uncle Binny looked at the pieces of 
 the syphon on the floor and the milk on 
 the carpet and started to tear his hair, 
 but he couldn't; it was creamed and 
 slippery. 
 
 Aunt Amy looked in at the door shiver- 
 ing with fright. " Binny, what's hap- 
 pened ? " she chattered. 
 
 Tucker Dan's uncle didn't say a word, 
 but grabbed the waste-paper basket and 
 shied it at his wife. He was over- 
 strained and decidedly nervous. Aunt 
 Amy backed down-stairs and locked her- 
 self in the kitchen, as Tucker Dan 
 shouted, " It's only the gout, Aunt A. A. 
 Uncle's got a terrible pain." 
 108
 
 An Attack of the Gout 
 
 When Uncle Binny quieted down, he 
 was of the same color and as mushy as a 
 stewed tomato. " Tucker Dan," he mur- 
 mured, " stick to that story. It's the 
 gout ; otherwise I'm lost. They'll have 
 me in a rest cure sure." 
 
 " Yes," said Tucker Dan, feebly, taking 
 the cue and appearing from under the 
 bed. " Yes, uncle, which toe has got the 
 gout ? We got to tell a straight story." 
 
 " This one on the left. Paint it with 
 iodine, Tuck. Make it look sick. Give 
 it the devil." 
 
 Tucker Dan painted the left big toe 
 with iodine, and for the first time in his 
 life really began to get acquainted with 
 his Uncle Binny. 
 
 " Tucker Dan," said the gentleman, 
 " if this gets out, they'll say I'm clear 
 gone. I rely on your honor as a man, to 
 keep this quiet." 
 
 " Yep," answered Tucker Dan, who 
 109
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 now began to realize that after all his 
 Uncle Binny was no " slouch." " Don't 
 you think if I rub that big toe joint with 
 the pumice stone, that it'll look redder, 
 more like the gout ? " he volunteered. 
 
 Uncle Binny tipped him a wink and 
 Tucker Dan seized the pumice stone from 
 the wash-stand and began to work ener- 
 getically and carefully. 
 
 Then he put on some more iodine, and 
 realized, after a minute, that he had 
 rubbed some of the outer skin too much. 
 Mr. Binny gave a whoop when the smart- 
 ing began, and was on the bed in an 
 instant, gyrating around like a dervish 
 doing a twirl. "Heavens, Tucker Dan, 
 heavens ! " he yelled, " ain't you got any 
 sense?" 
 
 Whenever Mr. Binny was excited he 
 lost his grammar. " Throw the iodine 
 out er the window, throw it out, you 
 fool ; throw it out or I'll throw you." 
 110
 
 An Attack of the Gout 
 
 Tucker Dan threw it, and looked in 
 blank amazement at his uncle as he tried 
 to dip his toe in the wash-basin. " Golly," 
 he murmured, " if that ain't the gout, 
 it's a close second. I'll fetch Aunt 
 A. A." 
 
 When she came, led by Tucker Dan, 
 they put Mr. Binny to bed, and cleaned 
 up the wreckage. Later, when she 
 stepped down-stairs, Tucker sat on the 
 edge of the bed, and seizing his uncle's 
 hand, said, " Uncle Bin, I really didn't 
 mean it I didn't do it for revenge. 
 Honest, I didn't." 
 
 Uncle Binny looked carefully at the 
 boy and saw that he was speaking the 
 truth. " Kid," he said, with shaking 
 voice, " keep mum." 
 
 And Tucker, realizing that Uncle Binny 
 was nearly a nervous wreck, stooped over 
 and kissed him ; and the man gently 
 folded the youngster to his breast. 
 Ill
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Uncle Binny and Tucker Dan were 
 great chums after that. 
 
 The two had a long confab ; what they 
 discussed was strictly confidential, but it 
 seemed to have a great effect on Tucker 
 Dan. Aunt Amy noticed a change in 
 him that night, and in a few days she 
 saw that Mr. Binny was showing a desire 
 to come out of hiding. There was a 
 solemnity about the man and the boy 
 that was most attractive, but so unnatural 
 as to be alarming ; especially was this the 
 case with Tucker Dan, who went about 
 his duties in a dignified and temperate 
 manner that made Aunt Amy expect 
 him to burst any minute. 
 
 " I don't know what ails Binny and the 
 boy," she said, one day to Mrs. Connor ; 
 " but I declare to goodness if there 
 ain't some mischief brewing then I'm no 
 good." 
 
 "Mischief nothing," replied her neigh- 
 112
 
 An Attack of the Goat 
 
 bor. " Mickey has got the same disease, 
 he's so all-fired sober that Mr. Connor's 
 actually 'fraid he'll explode an' set things 
 afire all at once." 
 
 " What do you suppose it is ? " queried 
 Aunt Amy dolefully. 
 
 " Reformation ; nothing in the world 
 but reformation. Your husband has been 
 talking to Tucker Dan, and Tucker Dan 
 has been filling my boy full of advice ; I 
 know it." 
 
 " The seed has fallen on a fruitful 
 place," murmured Aunt Amy. " Binny 
 was always a good talker." 
 
 " Well, I'll tell you how I know. I 
 heard Tucker Dan tell Mick that being 
 good wasn't so hard as being bad and 
 getting shot." 
 
 Aunt Amy shook her head sadly. " It 
 won't last. It's only temporary." 
 
 " Maybe, but there is no telling ; those 
 things spread sometimes. They do say 
 113
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 that Mick and Tucker Dan are just pitch- 
 ing into things at school." 
 
 " Guess that's so. Tucker Dan ain't 
 doing any pitching in at home, 'cept into 
 the food," remarked Aunt Amy with 
 slightly more vivacity. 
 
 Mrs. Connor laughed as she started to 
 go. " That reminds me, I heard Mick 
 ask Tucker Dan if he thought they could 
 reform Dr. Nash for Uncle Bin's sake ; 
 and Tucker Dan said the only way to 
 reform Dr. Nash was to melt him into 
 butter and pitch him into a new 
 mould." 
 
 " And what did your boy say to 
 that?" 
 
 " Well," chuckled Mrs. Connor, " Mick 
 said if Dr. Nash would sell as butter 
 he'd catch Mr. Hooley, the policeman, 
 and melt him and start an opposition 
 dairy." 
 
 " For the land's sake, sit down and 
 114
 
 An Attack of the Gout 
 
 have another cup of tea," exclaimed Mrs. 
 Binny. " Maybe the boys are poor speci- 
 mens, but I declare to goodness I wouldn't 
 trade 'em for the whole of Sorrento." 
 
 115
 
 CHAPTER NINE 
 
 TUCK SEES THE DOCTOR 
 
 [HE wave of reform had in- 
 deed struck home. Even 
 Tucker's desire to get square 
 with Policeman Flaherty had 
 been forgotten for a while at 
 least. Tuck was quite an- 
 other fellow at school, and 
 rapidly advanced to the head of his class, . 
 a position that was his by rights, but 
 which he never before had attained, hav- 
 ing been too busy with the more active 
 pursuits of life. When he finally reached 
 the top of the ladder Salvina was very 
 proud, for she cherished a deep and de- 
 veloping affection for Tuck, and she was 
 not jealous of him, for her position was 
 next to the last in the class, and she 
 116
 
 Tuck Sees the Doctor 
 
 never expected to lead it herself, unless 
 she led it backwards. 
 
 Salvina was a little beauty, and her 
 bright blue eyes beamed in merriment al- 
 ways, but they didn't beam much mathe- 
 matics and such things. 
 
 Augusta was somewhere near the 
 middle of the class and always in doubt, 
 as Salvina said. Nobody knew when 
 Augusta might take a brace and reach 
 the top, or when she might take a slide 
 and drop into the next lower class with 
 a mushy thud. Salvina's position next 
 to the last, however, had been a steady one. 
 
 And last of all was Mickey. He never 
 had been dropped, and never would be, 
 for one hour's study a day sufficed to 
 keep him hanging on. He didn't care 
 about taking a scholarly brace. What 
 was the use, as long as he hung onto the 
 same class with Augusta and his dear 
 friend Tucker Dan Pils ? 
 117
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 But the reform movement was break- 
 ing up all happiness. Tucker was get- 
 ting anxious to lead the universe, and 
 his friends saw that he soon would be 
 promoted. 
 
 One day the head and the foot of the 
 class went home together and Mickey 
 said, " Tuck, you're changed awful since 
 you got up in the world. Salvina's 
 afraid you are going to leave her be- 
 hind." 
 
 " Mickey," said Tuck, " I'm going to 
 better myself. You know yourself that 
 we've been calves long enough. We're a 
 couple of disgraces to our families. As 
 for the girls, I'm through with them. 
 I'm going to be a civil engineer." 
 
 " That's good," assented Mickey, " but 
 did you see Salvina crying yesterday 
 when you went home alone? " 
 
 " What you kiddin' me for ? " 
 
 " Honest, I seen her and it was because 
 118
 
 Tuck Sees the Doctor 
 
 you wouldn't go home with her, Augusta 
 says." 
 
 " Mick, you don't understand. I'm 
 busy with my books, I've reformed." 
 
 Mickey turned and faced his friend. 
 " You're a fool, Tucker Dan Pils ; you 
 ain't worth two tears from any girl's 
 eyes, and you're a boiled lobster and a 
 chuck steak. You're so darned con- 
 ceited that you've forgotten how to 
 skin a rabbit ; and you're missing all 
 the fun in life. You're a bloated, good- 
 for-nothing aristocrat, an' you make the 
 chickens cackle when you go by." 
 
 Tucker Dan put down his books on the 
 grass, and took off his coat as Mickey did 
 likewise. " You sassy cuss," he remarked 
 between his teeth. " You don't know 
 what reform means." 
 
 " I know that reform on you looks like 
 your Uncle Binny on that log swimmin' 
 from the beach. Funny, so funny, I has 
 119
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 ter laugh. Your reform is tiresome, 
 Tucker Dan Pils, and I'm going to 
 bust it." 
 
 Mickey side stepped and led with his 
 left, catching Tucker on the neck. The 
 next moment Mickey bent over with his 
 hand on his aching stomach. Then they 
 clinched and rolled over on the grass. 
 
 The scholars rushed to witness the 
 fight as the boys got up and yelled 
 at each other. Then Mickey caught 
 Tucker on the eye, and the champion 
 of reform caught Mickey on the nose. 
 But Connor was strong, and in another 
 minute Tucker was on the ground, and 
 Mickey was astride him. 
 
 " Promise not to reform any more," ex- 
 claimed the conqueror. " Promise or I'll 
 break your slats." 
 
 " Go to " but Tucker who was now 
 
 rolling over and over with his antagonist, 
 
 said no more ; for Mickey punched him 
 
 120
 
 Tuck Sees the Doctor 
 
 so hard that he was as limp as a 
 rag. 
 
 Salvina bent over him and wiped 
 the grass stains from his manly brow; 
 and Mickey slung his books on his 
 shoulder and walked off, remarking 
 audibly, " Now you quit yer fooling, 
 Pils, and come around and see me ; 
 but don't you give me none of yer 
 reform." 
 
 Tucker Dan sat up. " Salvina," he 
 whispered, "I'll go home with you next 
 Friday, if you'll let me." 
 
 " All right," she lisped, " all right, but 
 don't let any one hear." 
 
 Thus reform exploded, and love tri- 
 umphed ! 
 
 Tucker dropped from the top of the 
 class immediately, and Uncle Binny lost 
 control of him entirely. Mickey never 
 said a word, but the twins regarded him 
 with much respect. The fight had not 
 121
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 ruffled the school any ; such occurrences 
 were too common ; but every one noticed 
 that Tucker went home with Salvina on 
 Friday. 
 
 Just before reaching her home that 
 day he remarked to her, " I'll never for- 
 get how you wiped my face that day ; 
 it was awful kind." 
 
 " Oh ! never mind, Tuck," she an- 
 swered. " I couldn't help it. I I 
 hate a stuck up fellow, and you looked 
 so awful lopsy." 
 
 " Guess, I did," mused the boy. " Mick 
 landed awful hard." 
 
 " Yes, Tuck," she whispered, as she 
 extended her hand and placed it gently 
 upon his, for a moment. " Yes, but I 
 like you much better now ; I like you 
 very " 
 
 " Do you sure ? " he exclaimed, as she 
 dashed away from him with a teasing 
 laugh. " Then I'm glad I got licked." 
 122
 
 Tuck Sees the Doctor 
 
 He wheeled, and went off towards 
 the Binny home, whistling as loudly 
 as he could. On the way he encoun- 
 tered Mickey perched on a fence, look- 
 ing solemn as an owl. Tucker was mor- 
 tified and passed him by ; but Connor 
 called to him, " Come here, you has-been, 
 ain't that a lot better than being a re- 
 former an' head of the class ? " 
 
 " What ! " exclaimed the pedestrian, 
 the color rising to his face. 
 
 " Making up to Salvina Martin, you 
 can't throw a bluff at me, you graduated 
 reformer." 
 
 " I'll lick you ; I'll maul you." 
 
 " Nit, not yet, some other day. Be 
 good and I'll tell you how to get even 
 with Tim Flaherty." 
 
 " Go ahead," said Tucker Dan, taking 
 a seat on the same rail with Mickey, and 
 letting bygones be bygones at once. 
 
 " Well," began Mickey, " Tim Flaherty 
 123
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 has been telling all the force that you 
 and I are in love, and you oughter hear 
 them kid you behind your back." 
 
 Tucker glowered. " Why didn't you 
 tell me before?" 
 
 " Because you got the reforms so bad 
 you wasn't a darn bit interesting." 
 
 "Well?" 
 
 " Well, do you know, Tuck, what 
 Flaherty's been doing to-day ? " 
 
 " No." 
 
 " He was chasing a thief over Dr. 
 Nash's back fence, and he plugged the doc- 
 tor's hoss in the after leg with a bullet." 
 
 " Jiminy, then Dr. Nash would be a 
 good one to see." 
 
 " 'Seems to me so ; he can't be overfond 
 of Flaherty, and he does like us, so we 
 might make a deal." 
 
 Tucker thought long and earnestly. 
 " Leave it to me," he exclaimed. " I'll 
 let you know." 
 
 124
 
 Tuck Sees the Doctor 
 
 " Remember," Mickey cried, as his 
 friend disappeared in the distance, " I'm 
 with yer." 
 
 " Sure." 
 
 The two were once again in action, and 
 all past performances of unfriendly nature 
 were, then and there, forgiven in the 
 close bond of chumship and boyhood. 
 
 Tucker Dan wanted to see Dr. Nash 
 awfully, but he did not want the physi- 
 cian to know that he was so anxious. 
 He couldn't wait until evening, so he 
 decided to see the doctor before his office 
 hours. 
 
 First, he found great difficulty in swal- 
 lowing, and complained of a pain in his 
 left shoulder, and Aunt Amy thought a 
 poultice would do ; but Tuck demurred. 
 
 He then remembered that Uncle Binny 
 wasn't very fond of Dr. Nash at present, 
 so he acted accordingly. 
 
 " Aunt Amy, I don't want Uncle Bin 
 125
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 to know, it worries him so. He's had a 
 lot of worries lately, but I do feel aw- 
 fully sort er sick." 
 
 Mrs. Binny looked at him out of the 
 corner of her eye and mentally decided 
 that he did look somewhat sick. 
 
 Tucker tried to swallow some water 
 and she saw that it hurt him. 
 
 " You better take this change," she 
 said, as she handed him two fifty-cent 
 pieces, " and go and see Dr. Nash ; but 
 don't let your uncle know." 
 
 It had worked out just as the boy had 
 planned. "Thanks, Aunt Amy," he 
 said. " I wouldn't worry poor Nunc ; he 
 can't stand much since that attack er 
 gout." 
 
 " No, Tuck, he can't and the house 
 can't ; if he gets 'nother attack like the 
 last one, I declare to goodness the 
 chickens won't lay no more this season. 
 They've got the hysterics now they 
 126
 
 
 Tuck Sees the Doctor 
 
 cackle and cavort round whenever the 
 horse whinnies, or the cow moos." 
 
 "Well," drawled Tucker, "yer can't 
 expect 'em ter know everything ; they 
 didn't know it was a syphon of soda 
 on a bust with Nunc Binny ; but I 
 guess I'll be going. So long, Aunt A. A. 
 Thanks." 
 
 He seized his hat and slouched out of 
 the door, intense misery and suffering on 
 his face. 
 
 " I hope it ain't the shakes a coming 
 on," murmured Aunt Amy ; " but I de- 
 clare to goodness I believe he's got the 
 fakes pure an' simple 'stead er the 
 shakes ; he ain't had 'em for some time. 
 This reform movement ain't a-going to 
 last forever no matter what Mrs. Connor 
 thinks. We'll see Tucker Dan coming 
 back cured pretty soon, shakes or fakes." 
 
 It was pretty hard to fool Aunt Amy. 
 
 Dr. Nash happened to be in when 
 127
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Tucker called at five o'clock and the boy 
 walked stoop shouldered into the office. 
 The physician greeted him cheerily. 
 " Hello, Pils, you look as though you 
 needed more shot picking. What have 
 they been doing to that back of 
 yours ? " 
 
 " I think I got the shakes, Doc ; my 
 throat an' back feel all gone." 
 
 Dr. Nash decided to have some fun 
 with his young friend. 
 
 " What kind of an examination do you 
 want?" he queried. 
 
 " Thorough," murmured Tuck, " thor- 
 ough." Then as an afterthought he 
 queried, " How much does it cost ? " 
 
 The physician leaned back in his 
 especially made chair, his eyes twin- 
 kling. 
 
 " Well, I tell you, Pils, we fellows have 
 a system. Now if I look at your throat 
 by electric light," and he pointed to the 
 128
 
 Tuck Sees the Doctor 
 
 expensive electrical outfit in his office as 
 he spoke, " that will cost you two dollars. 
 If I look at you up here near the window 
 by sunlight and it does just exactly as 
 well, by the way that will cost you one 
 dollar in advance, examination of your 
 chest thrown in." 
 
 Tuck saw the twinkle in Dr. Nash's 
 eyes and walked slowly towards the win- 
 dow and gazed out upon the beautiful 
 lawn and the woods. 
 
 He knew the night would be a glorious 
 moonlight one. He thought a while, 
 then turned and meandered towards the 
 doctor's desk. 
 
 " Two dollars for electric light one 
 dollar for sunlight," he said, looking 
 keenly at the doctor. 
 
 Then he fished up a fifty cent piece and 
 laid it on the desk and walked to the 
 door before the astonished physician 
 knew what he was up to. 
 129
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " What is that for ? " enquired the man 
 of weight. 
 
 " That's pay in advance," exclaimed 
 Tucker Dan. 
 
 " Yes, but come here, it's one dollar the 
 cheapest." 
 
 " Well," drawled the boy, " you've got 
 a sliding scale of price to suit the light." 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " Well, then I'll call again, to-night. 
 The examination by moonlight will be 
 fifty cents." And forth he slouched. 
 
 130
 
 CHAPTER TEN 
 
 FLAHERTY GETS A LESSON 
 
 [T eight o'clock that evening 
 Tucker called to see Dr. Nash 
 again. As he had told 
 Mickey, who remained out- 
 side, the physician was too 
 frisky in the afternoon ; it 
 wasn't any use trying to 
 open up any conversation with a man 
 when he felt too fly. 
 
 When the boy faced the doctor for the 
 second time the man was considerably 
 more dignified. 
 
 He had a wholesome respect for any 
 one who could reduce fees as Tucker had 
 done that afternoon. The fifty cents still 
 stood on the desk, a reminder to both 
 that the occasion was to be a serious one. 
 131
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Dr. Nash looked his patient over care- 
 fully, then remarked, " I don't think you 
 need anything except a rest in bed for a 
 day or two. I'll 'phone over to Mr. 
 Binny and tell him to put you there." 
 
 Tucker thought a moment and realized 
 that the doctor had him. " I'll tell you, 
 Doc," he laughed, " I came to find out 
 how your hoss is getting along. Mick 
 and I wanted to know, and we didn't 
 wanter come 'less we were sick." 
 
 Dr. Nash smiled. " I suspected you, 
 Pils. My horse is done for. Tim Flah- 
 erty is a near-sighted idiot." 
 
 " That's what we think, and Mick and 
 I owe him a lesson." 
 
 The physician began to understand. 
 Slowly he swung back in his chair. 
 
 " Ah ! that love affair, eh ? " 
 
 Tucker winced. " Say, Doc," he said, 
 confidentially, " let me have a suit of your 
 old clothes, will you?" 
 132
 
 Flaherty Gets a Lesson 
 
 " What for ? " 
 
 " We want to teach Flaherty a lesson 
 nobody'll know we did it. Flaherty's 
 got ter find you dead in the road ; and he 
 can't see in the dark, and he will get in 
 an awful scrape." 
 
 " Tucker Dan Pils," exclaimed the phy- 
 sician, " you want to stuff my clothes and 
 palm them off for me ? " 
 
 "Yep." 
 
 " Well, I won't give you any, you 
 rascal, but," and here Nash looked out 
 of the window, " if you saunter into the 
 attic, you'll find what you want only 
 don't give me away." 
 
 Nash threw the fifty cents at Tucker 
 and the latter went quickly up the back 
 stairs. 
 
 " The house is empty, Tuck," remarked 
 the doctor encouragingly. " But heaven 
 help you if I see you steal." 
 
 Then he looked out of the window so 
 133
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 he couldn't see any one, or hear any one, 
 or know anything. 
 
 After a few minutes the back door 
 closed as a voice whispered, " So long, 
 Doc to-morrow night on the lane above 
 the engine house. That's Flaherty's beat 
 at night." 
 
 " I guess I'm doing wrong," mused the 
 doctor to himself, " but I swear I was a boy 
 once. It makes me sad to think how old 
 I am. I'd give anything to be a kid again." 
 
 He watched Mickey join Tucker under 
 an apple-tree, and saw the two disappear 
 in the moonlight, along the border of a 
 corn-field, a bundle between them. 
 
 Silently the two boys made their way 
 to an old barn some distance from the 
 Binny homestead and deposited their 
 burden in the loft. 
 
 " We'll get to work to-morrow, Mickey," 
 remarked Tucker. " We'll have to hook 
 the stuff to fill these clothes with." 
 134
 
 Flaherty Gets a Lesson 
 
 " We'll have to steal a couple of hay- 
 stacks at least," answered Mickey, as he 
 gazed at the size of the coat as it lay 
 spread out on the floor. 
 
 " I think we'll have to start in now," 
 mused Tucker. " It'll take an all-fired 
 lot of work to make this Dr. Nash look 
 lifelike. I guess we better fill the trou- 
 sers with apples." 
 
 They tied the ends of the legs and 
 filled one with the fruit from a collec- 
 tion down-stairs in the barn. Suddenly 
 Mickey yelled, " Pour 'em out again, 
 pour 'em out ; see I can't move the thing 
 at all now, an' we only got one leg 
 full." 
 
 " Hully gee, apples are 'steen times too 
 heavy. There's nothing to do but use 
 hay in a case like this. Did you ever see 
 such a big man as Dr. Nash in your life? " 
 laughed Tuck. 
 
 They foraged and used up considerable 
 135
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 hay that night. But they left the stuff- 
 ing only partly done, and returned to it 
 next morning, which was Saturday. 
 Never did boys work harder, and by 
 nightfall they had a pretty good like- 
 ness of Dr. Nash, head and all. 
 
 They had bought a mask at the knick- 
 knack store, and it served as a fair like- 
 ness of the physician as he would look 
 when killed. Altogether their work was 
 artistic as circumstances allowed. 
 
 At seven that evening Tucker and 
 Mickey advanced stealthily to the barn, 
 heading a squad of boys who were in the 
 secret. They carried the stuffed Dr. Nash 
 down the stairs and out of the barn door 
 in silent sorrow. They feared every min- 
 ute for his life. Once or twice they 
 turned him over and bent him up, in 
 order to get him down the stairs. But 
 they got him out into the woods finally 
 without being seen, and without his fall- 
 136
 
 Flaherty Gets a Lesson 
 
 ing to pieces at the belt line, his weakest 
 spot. 
 
 Then they laid him down and held a 
 consultation. Mickey was sitting on the 
 well-filled stomach, his feet barely reach- 
 ing the ground, and Tucker Dan was 
 astride the chest. 
 
 " Say, boys," exclaimed the master- 
 builder Tucker, " did you ever see such a 
 colossus ? " 
 
 " Never," exclaimed the chorus ; " never 
 like this we've all seen the original, 
 though." 
 
 They all laughed in glee. 
 
 " If the real Dr. Nash could see this 
 Dr. Nash there'd be a funny time," ex- 
 claimed one of the boys. 
 
 "Sure," interjected Mickey. "He'd 
 laugh till this one would burst open from 
 sympathy. Doc's a nice fellow." 
 
 " Well, we better get along, boys." 
 
 " March, march, to the tree by the 
 137
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 brook as it crosses the Fireman's lane," 
 ordered Tucker in a singsong. 
 
 They swung the hay made monster off 
 the earth, and stepped away in silence 
 like well drilled soldiers, keeping always 
 in the shade and avoiding the moonlight. 
 
 It was a sight worthy of a better sub- 
 ject than a stuffed physician. The boys 
 finally arrived at the brook under the 
 tree, and there they deposited the giant 
 once more on the ground. 
 
 Tucker Dan pulled him so that he lay 
 in the lane in the shade with the feet out 
 and head near the tree. 
 
 Then one of the smallest of his aides- 
 de-camp stole back to the barn and re- 
 turned with a can of fresh red paint. 
 This, Tucker and Mickey spilled pro- 
 fusely over the face of the figure and 
 down on the stuffed chest. 
 
 Then all the boys but the two leaders 
 hid behind a stone wall near by, and 
 138
 
 With a can of fresh 
 red paint " Page 138.
 
 Flaherty Gets a Lesson 
 
 watched Tucker and his dear friend 
 Mickey do a mysterious thing. 
 
 They dragged a long piece of hose 
 from the woods where they had hidden 
 it, and fastened one end under the stuffed 
 vest, after passing it through the coat 
 sleeve. The part of the tube that led 
 away from the body they covered with 
 leaves ; and then Tucker got behind a 
 stone and took the other end and said 
 things through it to Mickey, who listened 
 attentively as he leaned over the stuffed 
 monster. 
 
 " Hully rats/' he exclaimed with a 
 whoop, " I can hear all you say, Tuck. 
 It sounds as though Dr. Nash was talk- 
 ing through his chest, or something. But 
 he's got an awful voice for fair." 
 
 " Hooray," exclaimed the chorus be- 
 hind the stone fence. " Hooray for 
 Tucker Dan and for Mick." 
 
 Then all was quiet awaiting the com- 
 139
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 ing of Mr. Tim Flaherty, the near-sighted 
 policeman, who was now about due on 
 this part of his beat. 
 
 He came at last. They could see him 
 in the distance. 
 
 He was tired and disgusted and solilo- 
 quizing to himself. 
 
 " That there hoss I plugged for that fat 
 doctor yesterday morning is going to kick 
 der bucket, sure, and I see me finish on 
 de police foorce, unless I can work some- 
 how so as to see the doctor. As he do 
 be a gentleman maybe we can come to 
 turrums." 
 
 He trudged along. He was destined 
 to see the doctor all right, but he 
 little expected the manner of his meet- 
 ing. 
 
 Suddenly Tucker Dan fired a revolver 
 a couple of times and Mickey let out 
 an awful roar. It sounded like a panic- 
 stricken hyena. 
 
 UO
 
 Flaherty Gets a Lesson 
 
 All the boys behind the fence held 
 their breaths ; it was getting so realistic 
 that they had all they could do to keep 
 from jumping into next fourth of July. 
 
 Tucker and Mickey hid carefully and 
 Mr. Tim Flaherty waltzed backwards a 
 dozen steps before he could collect his 
 courage. 
 
 " It's mur-rder ! " he exclaimed as he 
 drew his night stick and his revolver. 
 
 " It's done ; it's too late," he muttered 
 as he dashed forward as became a brave 
 officer of the law. 
 
 He hurdled over a couple of boulders 
 and sprinted ahead for the tree. 
 
 " Surrender, ye villion," he yelled as 
 he fired a couple of shots that barked the 
 tree about fifty feet in the air. " Sur- 
 r-ender or be gobs I'll have yer." 
 
 Then he fired another shot and bored 
 a hole in the air forty feet to the left of 
 the tree. 
 
 141
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Next minute he stumbled over the 
 ready made Dr. Nash. 
 
 "I'll arrest ye ; be all the divils I'll 
 arrest ye." 
 
 He grabbed the body by the head and 
 the red paint daubed his arm. 
 
 " Blud," he murmured as he realized 
 that he had arrested the murdered man. 
 Then he knelt down and peered near- 
 sightedly at the body. There could be 
 no mistake, there was only one man so 
 large in the county. 
 
 " It's Dr. Nash," he cried. " Dead- 
 dead help, help hel-lup." 
 
 The face was cold. The murderer had 
 done his work only too well. Tim 
 Flaherty groaned, and then Tucker Dan 
 spoke softly through the tube, and the 
 words came from the murdered man. 
 
 " You're next, Tim." 
 
 Flaherty straightened up and shook 
 himself; it wasn't possible that such a 
 142
 
 Flaherty Gets a Lesson 
 
 cold murdered man could speak. He was 
 certainly dreaming or nervous to the bor- 
 derland of hysteria. 
 
 " He must be dead, sure," he cried, and 
 then Tucker Dan spoke again. 
 
 " He's after you, Tim Flaherty ; run." 
 
 The voice was ghostly, the surround- 
 ings oppressive, the atmosphere hot, and 
 Tim Flaherty jumped seven feet at the 
 first leap and started for the engine-house 
 down the hill, like a troubled policeman. 
 He was so troubled that he fell and rolled 
 into the back door of the engine-house. 
 
 " Mu-rr-der," he cried. " Dr. Nash is 
 killed on the road and he can still 
 ta-l-l-k, begorrah." 
 
 He headed the crowd back up the hill 
 and led them to the body. They looked 
 with the aid of lanterns and the boys be- 
 hind the fence one and all, burst out in 
 chorus, 
 
 " Guess again, Flaherty." 
 143
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 The firemen took the policeman back 
 to the engine-house and closed the doors 
 carefully. Then they talked with Flah- 
 erty and argued with him and sent for 
 the real Dr. Nash to fix him up. 
 
 He was a wreck, a total wreck for a 
 week. 
 
 Dr. Nash got home early that morning 
 escorted by half the town. As he went 
 to bed he muttered, 
 
 " Tucker Dan Pils, you're the greatest 
 press agent any man ever had. What an 
 advertisement you have given me, and it 
 was all done according to professional 
 ethics." 
 
 144
 
 CHAPTER ELEVEN 
 
 A BRACE OF LOVERS 
 
 HE town of Sorrento was one 
 of those beautiful spots that 
 one finds occasionally along 
 the New England coast. Its 
 streets were wide, its houses 
 large and spacious and not 
 too old-fashioned for modern 
 comfort ; for Sorrento was a comparatively 
 newly settled place, and Puritanism had 
 never effected its growth or had much to 
 do with moulding its thoughts. 
 
 Its chief industry was shoes ; everybody 
 
 who was some one owned a shoe store, or 
 
 a factory dedicated to the making of soles. 
 
 It was well supplied with churches, 
 
 and the ministers were all fat, a mighty 
 
 good sign ; meaning of course that it was 
 
 145
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 comparatively easy to marry rich girls in 
 Sorrento, for whoever heard pf a minister 
 getting fat on his own income in a New 
 England town. Along with its other ad- 
 vantages the place had a good reputation 
 for ventilation. 
 
 The Atlantic breezes swept in about 
 twice a month from the east and lifted 
 a roof or two, and in winter the trol- 
 leys quit running because the electricity 
 couldn't get conducted properly. Alto- 
 gether the town was an agreeable one, 
 and Mr. George Binny had never re- 
 gretted entering the shoe business of 
 Walker & Co., the biggest concern in 
 Sorrento. 
 
 Uncle Binny had never reached the 
 top ; but he made a good confidential man 
 and drew a fair salary, and Walker & Co. 
 thought he was all right, if a trifle un- 
 certain. After that day on which Mr. 
 Binny rode the log across the harbor and 
 146
 
 A Brace of Lovers 
 
 later sailed over the back fence with 
 Martin's coachman after him they enter- 
 tained some private fear that he might 
 one day stand on the court-house steps, 
 dressed in a polka dot shawl, and start 
 in dancing a Hoola dance. 
 
 By good behavior and strict attention 
 to business, however, Uncle Binny was 
 dissipating these fears. 
 
 But Mr. Budd, the junior member of 
 the firm, had a son named Henry. 
 While Mr. Binny got along first-rate with 
 the members of the firm, Tucker Dan 
 and his friend Mickey didn't fancy 
 Henry, who was known as Hen at school. 
 He belonged to the same class as Tucker 
 and he had jumped to the position of 
 leader of that class when he first went 
 there, and had stayed in that position, 
 held for such a short time by Tucker be- 
 fore him. Henry Budd was bright and 
 a fine looking fellow ; a first-class athlete 
 147
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 as well as scholar. He could run a tie 
 with Tuck and Mickey, and was in every 
 way a decidedly popular fellow, save for 
 his citified airs which displeased the 
 boys, but caused many a heart pang to 
 the girls. 
 
 It soon became evident to many that 
 things were not going well with Tucker 
 Dan that spring. He began to fail in 
 health and spirits, and for some unac- 
 countable reason Mickey had the same 
 symptoms. They acted in a listless man- 
 ner and had no appetite, and their flesh 
 simply melted off them. 
 
 Dr. Nash, who saw the boys quite fre- 
 quently about town, began to take a pro- 
 fessional interest in observing them from 
 the corners of his trained eyes. 
 
 To his mind Pils and Mickey Connor 
 
 were in trouble. It looked like silent 
 
 grief. Then Dr. Nash began to notice 
 
 that Tucker did not go home with Salvina 
 
 148
 
 A Brace of Lovers 
 
 any more, and that he never saw Mickey 
 dancing attendance on Miss Augusta. 
 
 Then Mr. Connor, senior, and Uncle 
 Binny began to worry about the boys, 
 and talked it over amongst themselves. 
 They decided to send them to see Dr. 
 Nash. Something surely was wrong. 
 Tucker had only eaten five sausages for 
 breakfast one morning that week ; and 
 Mickey was so off his feed that he 
 wouldn't eat buckwheat cakes any more, 
 even if his mother made them half but- 
 ter, half cakes, and threw in enough syrup 
 to float them. 
 
 The boys started to the doctor's to- 
 gether one Saturday morning early. 
 They got tired and sat on a log in the 
 woods and looked at each other. Both 
 were sheepish. 
 
 " Say, Tuck, what ails you anyway? " 
 exclaimed Mickey with a bold command- 
 ing note in his voice. 
 149
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 11 Nothing at all much ; ain't got an ap- 
 petite." 
 
 " Why ain't you got an appetite ? You 
 got to tell me the truth, Tuck." 
 
 Tucker Dan looked at Mickey and 
 saw that it was no use to refuse, so he 
 delved deeply into his shirt bosom and 
 pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. 
 
 " Read that," he exclaimed woefully. 
 " I got it six weeks ago ; read it, Mick." 
 
 Connor took it and unfolded it before 
 him on the log and read : 
 
 " MR. TUCKER DAN PILS, 
 " DEAR SIR : 
 
 " I cannot call you Tuck any 
 more, because I must be true to myself 
 and tell you that I don't love you any- 
 where near so much as I did. I like you, 
 Pils, but I don't want to walk home any 
 more with you. We must part forever. 
 It is awful, but it must be. 
 
 " Your friend always 
 
 " SALVINA." 
 
 150
 
 A Brace of Lovers 
 
 Mickey looked at Tucker Dan calmly and 
 returned the note. Then Tucker sighed 
 and hung his head, and reached out his 
 arm and clasped it about Mickey's neck 
 and drew his lifelong friend towards him. 
 
 " It's awful, Mick," he sobbed ; " and 
 an' she calls me ' Pils ' now." 
 
 Mickey didn't say a word, but pulled a 
 letter out of his own bosom and handed 
 it to Tucker, who took it eagerly and read 
 it. It went like this 
 
 " ME. MICHAEL CONNOE : 
 
 " I find that my affection has 
 cooled forever, Mick. I shall always 
 call you Mick 'cause I really like you 
 awfully, but I cannot love you as I did. 
 The dear sweet days are now gone, Mick. 
 Keep up your courage and be a man and 
 try and forget me, and get another girl 
 and be happy as you deserve ; but don't 
 make it hard for me, dear Mick. 
 " Your friend forever, 
 
 " but not your sweetheart, 
 
 "AUGUSTA." 
 151
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Tucker Dan stood up. "Listen, 
 Mickey," he cried, "listen. Mine says,' 
 ' It's awful but it must be,' and yours 
 says, * Don't make it hard for me, dear 
 Mick.' What do you think of that? 
 Ain't that trouble ? " 
 
 " The blows are so hard I don't want 
 to live, Tuck," mumbled Mickey. " You 
 and I have been turned down." 
 
 " Turned down ! We've been turned 
 inside out ; but there's nothing to do ; 
 we're poor and they're rich, and and 
 Mickey Connor, we've just got to be 
 men." 
 
 " Yep but I ain't got no appetite." 
 
 "Do you expect to wanter eat after 
 such a thing as that? Y-a-h ! " ex- 
 claimed Tucker. "Brace up and be a 
 man." 
 
 " Can't brace up," said Mickey sorrow- 
 fully. " I ain't had a square meal in a 
 month." 
 
 152
 
 A Brace of Lovers 
 
 11 I ain't drunk anything but milk for 
 a week," retorted Tuck ; " but say, brace 
 up and let's see Dr. Nash. He'll give us 
 something to brace on, and if you don't 
 tell him he won't know we've been turned 
 down." 
 
 Mickey shook himself and together 
 they went to see the man who wouldn't 
 know. 
 
 Fortunately there were no patients 
 waiting and the boys were admitted 
 one by one. Mickey first, because he 
 was the older. 
 
 Mick thought he would die of suffo- 
 cation when he saw Dr. Nash in his 
 chair. The doctor looked as though he 
 had been eating some of the hay that 
 was used to stuff his double on the 
 night of Flaherty's lesson. Mickey 
 gasped in amazement. It was evident 
 Dr. Nash had gained in weight. The 
 physician understood. 
 153
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " Come in, Connor," he said. " I've 
 been gaining the flesh that you and 
 Pils have been dropping lately ; only 
 thirty-five pounds I am three hundred 
 and fifty-seven now." 
 
 The doctor stood up, and as was his 
 wont with the boys, remarked jovially, 
 " How do I look, now ? " 
 
 " Like a dressed up gentleman," mut- 
 tered Mickey in alarm. " You look too 
 big to be comfortable though." 
 
 " Well, you see, Mickey, I am too old 
 to fall in love. That's what takes the 
 flesh off people." 
 
 Mickey sat down on the edge of a chair 
 and swelled himself out as far as pos- 
 sible. 
 
 " I'm losing weight, Doc," he volun- 
 teered. 
 
 " Yes, I know ; you have been in love 
 and have been turned down ; your face 
 shows it." 
 
 154
 
 A Brace of Lovers 
 
 Mickey gasped in amazement as the 
 physician continued, 
 
 " You go. Forget it, and if you don't 
 get over it, I'll tell the fellows. You 
 don't need any medicine." 
 
 Mickey stood up and groaned like a 
 sick ape. 
 
 " Say you're right ; but let me stay in 
 here while you talk to my friend Tucker 
 Dan Pile." " 
 
 " All right," exclaimed the doctor ; 
 " Pils, next." 
 
 Tucker came slouching in and looked 
 suspiciously at Mickey who remained 
 standing. 
 
 The doctor stripped Tucker to the 
 skin and drew marks on his chest 
 and thumped him, while Mickey had 
 great difficulty in suppressing his 
 laughter. 
 
 Then he listened to the heart and 
 gazed learnedly at Pils. 
 155
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 "Sorry, but you've got heart disease. 
 You're struck with an arrow from the 
 god Cupid's bow." 
 
 Tuck smiled like a sick boy. " Is that 
 all, Doc?" he murmured bravely. 
 
 " No, you've got a complication. We 
 call it calfitis." 
 
 " What's that? " remarked the boys in 
 chorus. 
 
 " That's the high English for the first 
 attack of love." 
 
 Mickey sat down on the floor and 
 gazed up at Tucker's naked chest and 
 then stuffed his head in his hands and 
 howled with joy. 
 
 " Calfitis, Tucker Dan there's no hope 
 for us," he shouted. " Doc is on I Doc's 
 on!" 
 
 " Take one good revenge and get fat 
 again, boys," remarked the doctor. 
 
 " Revenge ! " chorused the two with 
 eagerness. 
 
 156
 
 A Brace of Lovers 
 
 " Yes, revenge. When two boys get 
 turned down by two girls they'd better 
 get together and hunt for the man in 
 the case," remarked Dr. Nash. " When 
 I was young we usually did that." 
 
 " The other man, hully gee ! " ex- 
 claimed Mickey. " I am on, Tucker 
 Dan, I am on." 
 
 "So ami." 
 
 " We will hunt the other man," and 
 together they walked out. 
 
 When they got outside Tucker re- 
 marked, " That Dr. Nash is a peach." 
 
 " Yep, he's got second sight," asserted 
 Mickey. " He's too darned smart for 
 comfort." 
 
 " He's a clairvoyant." 
 
 Then they shouted back together, " So 
 long, Doc ! We are going to hunt the 
 other man. He must be Hen, dear Hen 
 Budd." 
 
 157
 
 CHAPTER TWELVE 
 
 HENRY'S BUSY DAY 
 
 [UCKER DAN led the way 
 back to the log, which 
 both boys bestrode, fan- 
 ning one another. Said 
 Mickey from his seat on 
 the thick end, 
 
 " Tuck, we don't know as 
 much as doctors." 
 
 " Not as much as Dr. Nash," assented 
 Tuck ; " but Nunc Binny says some doc- 
 tors don't know enough to chase hens." 
 
 11 Anyway, Pils, you an' I've been a 
 couple of boiled lobsters." 
 
 Tucker looked gloweringly at his dear 
 friend Mick. 
 
 " Skinny," he said, " I'd as soon fight 
 you again as not. You told Doc that I 
 
 had the the " 
 
 158
 
 Henry's Busy Day 
 
 "Calfitis! haw! haw! ho! No, I 
 didn't, honest! Honest I never heard 
 of the disease." 
 
 " Well you told him I had the moon- 
 strokes." 
 
 " I didn't. He told me I had the loves, 
 and course he knew you had 'em, too. 
 We've both had the moonstrokes, Tuck ; 
 we've been a couple of tra-la-loos." 
 
 Tucker Dan got up. " Mick," he said 
 trying hard to swallow his mortification, 
 " I think we better interview Hen Budd 
 some day. He has done us up." 
 
 " I think Hen Budd, dear Hen, you're 
 in need of friends," murmured Mickey, 
 as he got up and took hold of Tuck's 
 arm. "Ter think, Tuck, that anybody 
 could size us up for a couple of rejected 
 
 swains." 
 
 Tucker Dan hung his head in deep 
 thought. 
 
 "What's der matter?" queried Mick 
 159
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 in sympathy. " Don't let a girl sear 
 your soul that way ; I'm over my 
 blow." 
 
 " I'm only thinking," murmured 
 Tucker, " about what to do to Henry." 
 
 Mickey stood off and threw his head 
 forward while his neck was nearly dislo- 
 cated, and looked keenly and melodra- 
 matically at his friend. 
 
 " You invent the scheme, but I'll start 
 the ball rolling for you. My specialty is 
 doing stunts. I ain't any good at in- 
 venting." 
 
 Tucker mused a while. " Next Satur- 
 day are the athletic games at school, 
 Skinny Mick ; next Saturday Hen Budd 
 will beat us all in the hundred yard 
 dash." 
 
 " Yep, I give in already, Tuck. He 
 can beat me two feet any way." 
 
 " He can beat me about a foot an' a 
 half," said Tucker; " and he thinks he'll 
 160
 
 Henry's Busy Day 
 
 keep Salvina and Augusta on his string, 
 does he?" 
 
 " He do," assented Mick, ungrammatic- 
 ally, as usual, when excited ; " he thinks 
 he can do Tucker Dan Pils and Mickey 
 Connor." 
 
 " I think, Mick, that we'll lose the race 
 maybe ; but I think you an' I'll go home 
 with Salvina and Augusta and the rest 
 of the bunch." 
 
 " Hooray for you, Tuck ; you've got a 
 scheme. I knew you'd never fail." 
 
 " I have got an idea, I have. Lead me, 
 Mick lead me to a brook in the woods 
 where there's mud, and where you an' I 
 can think." 
 
 Mick began to tremble with excitement. 
 
 " Come on," he cried as he led the way ; 
 then as he looked sideways at his friend 
 he said to himself, " Tucker looks awful 
 queer in the eye he's got a prize winner 
 in his attic this time sure." 
 161
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Later, the two boys might have been 
 seen deep in the woods, eagerly scanning 
 the neighborhood of marsh ponds, and 
 following the course of the many streams. 
 
 They held no conversation. Each was 
 company unto himself, but each was wide 
 awake. Suddenly Mickey struck a mo- 
 tionless attitude ; then began to tiptoe 
 towards a spot in a hollow between two 
 stones, which was half filled with muddy 
 water. There was a quiet splash and a 
 dark object disappeared under the sur- 
 face. Mickey started after and in his 
 hurry lost his footing and sat down all 
 over the landscape. 
 
 Tucker pulled him out, and dejectedly 
 the two proceeded on their mysterious 
 way. 
 
 Suddenly Tucker, stick in hand, exe- 
 cuted a turn and capsized an object that 
 was making its escape. 
 
 "That'll do," exclaimed Mickey, as 
 162
 
 Henry's Busy Day 
 
 both studied the object and put it into 
 a meal sack. "He'll do." 
 
 " Yep," assented the captor ; " trouble 
 'bout these snapping turtles most of 'em 
 are too big. This one ain't such a weight 
 to carry." 
 
 " Haw ! haw ! " bellowed Mickey ; " Hen 
 won't scarcely notice this handicap ; " 
 and the two hunters chuckled in glee at 
 the prospect of revenge. 
 
 The day of the school athletic games 
 was a brilliant one in every way. The 
 sky was cloudless, the atmosphere was 
 clear and the birds were singing. 
 
 A mile outside of the town was the 
 athletic field, with its greensward, greener 
 than usual, and its half-mile track en- 
 circling it like a band of silver. The 
 grand stand was filled at two o'clock. 
 Sorrento was there in full representation. 
 Business men had made a half-holiday of 
 it and the ladies were there to make the 
 163
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 half better. Boys were there from the 
 schools all about, and the girls, bless 
 them, were there because the boys were. 
 They didn't know much about athletics 
 but they knew enough to know that it 
 was first and last their day. 
 
 Salvina and Augusta were seated in a 
 box with the Budds, on Hen's invitation. 
 
 Uncle Binny and Mr. Connor were in 
 company with Dr. Nash, who had to pay 
 for two seats in the grand stand for him- 
 self. He sat on the lower tier near the 
 track, so in case the boards gave way he 
 might recuperate without precipitating a 
 panic. 
 
 About a quarter of a mile beyond, the 
 half-mile track skirted a rocky elevation, 
 on the other side of which was a railroad 
 track going through a cut. 
 
 A gang of Italian laborers, about 
 twenty in number, were lounging on the 
 rocks enjoying the sight and taking a 
 164
 
 " Salvina and Augusta 
 were there." Page 164.
 
 Henry's Busy Day 
 
 rest from their work. They all had 
 picks or spades and were jabbering more 
 than usual. It seemed that their cook in 
 the shanty near by had lost his small 
 frying-pan, and their midday meal had 
 not been as satisfactory as usual. 
 
 Every one wanted to know where the 
 frying-pan was, but no one cared to look 
 for it, as the athletic games were the cen- 
 tre of attraction. But nevertheless all 
 realized that if that pan was not found 
 there wouldn't be any more hot stuff to 
 eat for awhile. 
 
 The games started, and all was excite- 
 ment when the event of the day was 
 reached. It was the hundred yard dash. 
 Every one in town looked for a record, 
 for Hen Budd had a reputation for fleet- 
 ness of foot that made him the centre of 
 all eyes. Tucker Dan Pils had equaled 
 his time, it was acknowledged, and some 
 even said that Mickey Connor might win 
 165
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 in a pinch ; but many thought the two 
 boys were too thin overtrained they 
 said for this special occasion. 
 
 Dr. Nash knew that it was not over- 
 training, and somehow he had a deep 
 premonition of trouble. Even Uncle 
 Binny and Mr. Connor who sat with the 
 doctor were uneasy about the race. The 
 three had noticed that Tucker and 
 Mickey were sublimely indifferent to one 
 another, and they could not quite attrib- 
 ute it to jealousy. 
 
 " Binny," whispered the doctor, 
 " there's going to be something doing 
 pretty soon." 
 
 " Guess yes look at Hen Budd." 
 
 Down the track one hundred yards 
 the runners were lining up for the 
 dash which was to terminate in front 
 of the grand stand. Budd was limber- 
 ing up in his racing trousers and his 
 white sleeveless shirt. His splendidly 
 166
 
 Henry's Busy Day 
 
 proportioned figure created a sensa- 
 tion. 
 
 Mickey Connor threw aside his blanket 
 and made a second sensation. He was so 
 thin he looked like a wish-bone out for 
 an airing. 
 
 Then others limbered, and lined up to 
 the scratch. Last of all Tucker Dan Pils 
 threw off his blanket ; and he nearly 
 created a veritable panic. 
 
 He was certainly out to win the race. 
 His trousers were just as short as those of 
 the others, but they were made of black 
 silk, and his thin chest was clad in a 
 fawn colored undershirt. The other boys 
 smiled, then laughed, and Dr. Nash re- 
 marked to his friends, 
 
 " Watch Tucker and Mick. They're up 
 to snuff. The others are laughing ; and 
 laughing before a race is the worst possible 
 thing to do. Binny, that Tuck of yours 
 knows that ; he's out for the honors." 
 167
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 "And my Mickey is helping him," 
 chuckled Connor ; " what's he carrying 
 his cap in his hand for ? I bet there's 
 something in that cap, all right." 
 
 There was no time to discover, for the 
 pistol cracked and away the contestants 
 flew. It was a beautiful start. Mickey 
 was near the fence on the inside and next 
 to him was the expected champion of the 
 school associations, Hen Budd. Next 
 came the other boys, and outside of all 
 Tucker Dan, the boy in the black and fawn. 
 
 In less than two seconds every one saw 
 that Budd had pulled away from the 
 others near him, and that Mickey on the 
 inside right next to him was running as 
 he never ran before, but was losing inch 
 by inch, and many shouted to him to 
 drop his cap, but he didn't. 
 
 A few feet to the outside came Tucker, 
 running in beautiful style, and to all ap- 
 pearances holding his own with Budd. 
 168
 
 Henry's Busy Day 
 
 They came flying down the stretch to- 
 gether. Neither Tuck nor Budd knew 
 anything that was going on now, save 
 that their hearts were thumping in their 
 chests, their feet striking automatic- 
 ally on the ground like frozen members, 
 and their faces flushing. Then came the 
 next two seconds that seemed eternity to 
 them. Their heads no longer appeared 
 to them to be on their shoulders, their 
 eyes could no longer fix the tape ahead. 
 The air seemed to waver with a rhythmic 
 undulant motion, the silence was the 
 silence of eternity ; and still the silence 
 was theirs only. The noise was really 
 deafening as the spectators urged them 
 on. 
 
 One second more and Tucker Dan's 
 head wobbled ; unknown to him Budd 
 forged three inches to the front. 
 
 This was Mickey's opportunity. He 
 had fallen behind from the other two 
 169
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 some eighteen inches, and when Budd 
 forged to the front Mickey threw forward 
 his hand the hand that held the cap 
 and grazed Budd's leg with it. It looked 
 like a desperate attempt to keep his bal- 
 ance, and no one knew what had hap- 
 pened save that Mickey staggered, fell 
 back, and landed on all fours, a beaten 
 boy his cap still in his hand. 
 
 But by his well timed movement he 
 had given the snapping turtle inside it a 
 chance. The goal was only a few yards 
 away, and Henry Budd was still in the 
 lead, but the turtle was with him, at- 
 tached to the side farthest from the 
 crowd. 
 
 At first it pecked gently, and Budd 
 made a wonderful leap, but Tucker Dan 
 stuck to him like grim death. Then the 
 turtle tried again, this time with better 
 success ; and Hen Budd war-whooped like 
 an Indian while Tuck forged to the front 
 170
 
 Henry's Busy Day 
 
 amid wild applause, the winner of the 
 greatest race ever run thereabouts. 
 
 Budd sat down on the track, and 
 chased himself in a circle as a dog chases 
 its tail, while the crowd, which didn't 
 know anything about the turtle, began to 
 think real hard. 
 
 " I've got a terrible pain," he yelled, as 
 he jumped up and over the track rail, 
 landing on the back of his head on the 
 grass. 
 
 He couldn't see anything but he felt a 
 heavy drag behind him. 
 
 " I'm done for, I've busted something," 
 he yelled again as he took the first three 
 tiers of the grand stand in a graceful 
 bound. 
 
 No one could stop him. He rushed in 
 and out in panic and nobody knew what 
 it was all about. 
 
 But the turtle had secured a poor hold 
 of Hen's trousers near the knee ; it now 
 171
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 snapped again. This time it got Hen for 
 fair. With a succession of sounds that 
 seemed to be some new kind of opera in 
 rehearsal Budd galloped down the track 
 and scaled the rocky heights where were 
 the Italians, and dashing into the railroad 
 track made for Chicago. 
 
 The Italians saw the long necked turtle 
 and decided that Henry Budd had some- 
 how gotten hold of the missing frying- 
 pan, and was speeding with it. 
 
 They tumbled onto the track, spades 
 and picks in hand and started after him, 
 yelling like fiends. Hen looked back 
 and decided to keep right on. 
 
 Mickey sought out his friend, Tucker 
 Dan. 
 
 11 1 hated to do it, Tuck, but I obeyed 
 your orders," he exclaimed. 
 
 " I thought the stunt would work out 
 all right," chuckled the other as they 
 watched the crowd headed by the police- 
 172
 
 Henry's Busy Day 
 
 man, Tim Flaherty, join in a pell- 
 mell pursuit of poor Henry. " And I 
 think we better go home with the twins 
 
 now." 
 
 173
 
 [HE Budd family was much 
 downcast over their only 
 son's foolish caper. Even 
 they thought he knew 
 enough not to monkey with 
 a snapping turtle ; but they 
 saw plainly that they were 
 mistaken. 
 
 It was evident that while he was a 
 splendid scholar and an excellent runner 
 he didn't know enough to keep scandal 
 from the family doors, and he needed 
 watching. 
 
 Anyway, whether he needed it or not, 
 
 Dr. Nash took care of him for several 
 
 days. The physician treated the case 
 
 surgically and told Hen that he was glad 
 
 174
 
 Four Hearts 
 
 he had been such a fleet runner. If he 
 had not rattled the turtle by his speed 
 there would have been no telling what 
 might have happened. 
 
 The injured boy recovered to find 
 himself the most amusing thing in town. 
 Every one called him "Turt," and his 
 life was made miserable. The girls sim- 
 ply passed him with glassy stares that 
 froze his marrow, and the boys said 
 things at a distance. He did not return 
 to school next fall, for his father thought 
 he had better take a rest and work in 
 the factory for the benefit of the family 
 name. 
 
 Salvina and Augusta paid lots of atten- 
 tion to Tucker and Mickey, but the boys 
 were decidedly frigid and distant to the 
 twins at first. 
 
 Since Tucker had won the race he was 
 king-pin of the town, for no one knew 
 how the turtle had got fastened to Hen 
 1Y5
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Budd, and Mickey, staunch friend that he 
 was, never revealed his part in the affair. 
 He limped around for a day or so and 
 complained of his foot, and explained his 
 miserable fall in the race by saying, 
 " Me left fut got outer time with me right 
 fut, and me cap got outer time with me 
 two futs, and all I could do was to finish 
 the race on me belly." 
 
 Wherever Tucker Dan went Mickey 
 hopped along too ; and wherever they 
 two meandered, Salvina and Augusta ap- 
 peared somewhere in a not distant per- 
 spective. Hen Budd was forgotten, and 
 Tucker and his right bower were it. 
 
 Finally one day as early fall was ap- 
 proaching, after the boys had strained the 
 girls' affection as far as girls could stand 
 it, Tucker received a forget-me-not inside 
 of a walnut, and Mickey found a rose in- 
 side of a paper shoe box on the back door- 
 step. 
 
 176
 
 Four Hearts 
 
 Then the two boys met and reported to 
 one another. 
 
 " We've got 'em going, all right, all 
 right, Mick," mused Tucker Dan. 
 
 " Yep, it's our prestige," remarked 
 Mickey with a long French accent. 
 " We got prestige ! " 
 
 "Naw," grunted Tucker, "it's our 
 shapes." 
 
 "Nit," retorted Mickey; "if we trav- 
 eled on our shapes we'd be in the scrap 
 iron heap. You oughter seen yerself 
 when yer lined up for the race. I 
 thought ye were a plucked chicken, 
 sure." 
 
 " Maybe, but you looked like a piece 
 of canned asparagus. And your pants 
 oh haw ! haw ! haw ! " 
 
 " Don't make any difference," mused 
 Mickey abashedly ; " we've made a hit 
 with the twins, and we're a couple of 
 idiots if we don't make up." 
 177
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Tucker nodded. " Let's settle things, 
 Mick. We're slow." 
 
 " All right." 
 
 And then the rest was easy. All the 
 rest of that summer the two boys and 
 the twins had a delightful friendship, 
 which grew serious as school-time ap- 
 proached. 
 
 One day Mickey and Augusta were 
 walking through the woods together, 
 when suddenly he stooped towards her 
 and whispered something softly in her 
 ear as he put his arm on her shoulder. 
 
 She colored like an autumn peach, but 
 she shook her head and replied, " No, 
 Mike, dear, wait till you're older then 
 maybe you can. Mamma says we're 
 altogether too young now for such non- 
 
 sense." 
 
 Poor Mickey stubbed his toe and 
 landed with his face in an oak-tree just 
 at this moment, and Augusta laughed so 
 
 178
 
 Four Hearts 
 
 that he laughed too ; and he had to post- 
 pone his courtship. 
 
 But Tucker Dan was doing better with 
 Salvina about half a mile back. They 
 were sitting on a log together, and she 
 was speaking softly. 
 
 " Tuck," she said, " you won that race 
 in great style. I am proud of you." 
 
 To his credit Tucker Dan winced a 
 little. 
 
 " But," she continued, " I think Mickey 
 helped you. Mickey had something to do 
 with that turtle." 
 
 " Mickey won the race for me," declared 
 Tucker in an outburst of confidence ; " but 
 don't give it away." 
 
 " I guess not," she retorted earnestly ; 
 " don't I know it was you that schemed 
 it out? You've got a great head, 
 Tuck." 
 
 Tucker saw that things were right with 
 Salvina, so he drawled, " I'm glad we did 
 179
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 it anyhow ; otherwise I wouldn't be here 
 with you see ? " 
 
 She blushed. "I'm glad you did," 
 she assented. " You made Hen Budd 
 sick." 
 
 " Yep ; we were regular kids last 
 spring," he said, reminiscently. 
 
 " Kids," she laughed merrily. "What 
 are you now, Tuck ? We're all boys and 
 girls." 
 
 " No," exclaimed Tuck bravely ; " no, I 
 am most a man, and I love you I love 
 you awfully much." 
 
 Salvina sprang to her feet, the bright 
 glow of the evening sun playing gently 
 upon her pretty face, and walking towards 
 her companion with the grace of the 
 coming woman she seized him by the 
 hand and helped him up. 
 
 "I'm so glad," she whispered gently. 
 " Come, Tuck, let's go home together 
 you and I." 
 
 180
 
 Four Hearts 
 
 Thus they walked together towards her 
 home, he, serious, boyish, casting loving 
 glances at her she, looking down and 
 saying softly with the tender tones of the 
 woman that was to be " you and I, 
 Tucker you and I." 
 
 Arriving at home, they found Mickey 
 and Augusta, still unwilling to part. 
 
 They chatted a few moments, and then 
 Tucker remarked to the girls as he and 
 Mickey started to go, 
 
 "Say, girls, Aunt A. A. is going to 
 give me a birthday dinner next Monday, 
 and she's going to invite just a few. 
 You'll both come, sure, won't you? " 
 
 " Who else is coming ? " queried Au- 
 gusta. 
 
 " Will it be sober ? " chimed Salvina, 
 with a twinkle in her eye. 
 
 " Doc Nash is coming, sure," exclaimed 
 Tucker ; " an' he's enough to keep it 
 sober all right. Nunc Binny is going to 
 181
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 give him a trunk for a chair, and the 
 trunk is going to be filled with bricks so 
 Doc can't fall through." 
 
 The girls chortled in chorus, " We'll be 
 there ; " and, laughing, they ran together 
 into the house. 
 
 Mickey and Tucker walked back into 
 the woods and sat on a log. 
 
 "What luck, Tuck?" queried Mick 
 with a sigh. 
 
 "Oh, it's all fixed, old man ; we'll be 
 married some day," was Tucker Dan's 
 drawling answer. 
 
 Then he looked at Mickey out of the 
 corner of his eye. 
 
 "What happened to you? You look 
 rejected," he remarked. 
 
 " Me fut I I stubbed me fut just when 
 I was getting close to me subject, and me 
 face landed on the trunk of a tree and 
 she laughed, she did." 
 
 "Oh, gosh!" bawled Tuck. "Your 
 182
 
 Four Hearts 
 
 darned fut. Your fut take it to Doc 
 Nash and get it amputated." 
 
 Then he took pity on poor Mickey, 
 and putting his arm on his shoulder, 
 continued, 
 
 " Never mind, Mick. I got something 
 for you to do for the dinner." 
 
 Mickey brightened. " What ? " 
 
 " Read up on tarantulas. Get a book 
 and study 'em." 
 
 " Ain't ever seen any. Do they eat 
 'em?" 
 
 "Naw they're spiders. I want the 
 conversation to turn on tarantulas. 
 Look 'em up in the books." 
 
 Mickey looked in amazement at 
 Tucker and started homeward in disgust. 
 
 " Look here, Mick," said Tuck, " you 
 read up on tarantulas. And you get me 
 a mouse, too. I want a mouse." 
 
 " Mouse ? What's tarantulas got to do 
 with a mouse?" 
 
 183
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 " You be darned ! You do as I tell 
 you, Mick. You get a mouse mouse 
 mouse ! " 
 
 Mickey's eyes began to bulge in ex- 
 pectancy, and Tucker added mysteriously 
 " You bring me that mouse. I got a 
 trap with a sliding door in it." 
 
 "Honest?" 
 
 "Yep." 
 
 " Tucker Dan, I'll get you that mouse 
 if I have to do an autopsy on a cat ; " 
 and Mickey ambled off. 
 
 184
 
 CHAPTER FOURTEEN 
 
 TUCK'S DINNER 
 
 ONDAY came bright and gay, 
 and Mickey arrived with a 
 mouse which Tucker and he 
 put carefully in the trap. 
 
 They held a short con- 
 sultation in the barn, and 
 then went indoors to help 
 Aunt Amy get the things on the dinner 
 table. 
 
 The guests were all in the parlor ; Mr. 
 and Mrs. Martin and the twins, Mr. and 
 Mrs. Connor, and Dr. Nash. Nunc 
 Binny was stepping round with a broad 
 smile and a happy sermon in his face, 
 and Dr. Nash was standing in the centre 
 of the room wondering which way to 
 turn without having a collision with 
 185
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 some article of less resistance. The 
 twins were whispering in the corner and 
 watching the boys in the dining-room, 
 while the boys themselves were busy put- 
 ting something under the table and keep- 
 ing Aunt Amy in the dark as to what 
 was being done. 
 
 Then everybody marched in to dinner, 
 and Nunc Binny apologized for seating 
 Dr. Nash on a loaded trunk ; the physi- 
 cian took it gracefully and said if they 
 had offered him anything else to sit on, 
 except the piano, he would have stood up. 
 Then he told how he had had to have 
 his carriage made to order out of planks, 
 and how his office chair was growing 
 smaller every day because the fool manu- 
 facturers had refused to put reefs in as he 
 had requested. 
 
 Everybody felt gay. Tucker Dan sat 
 on the right of the doctor, and Mickey 
 sat sandwiched between the twins over 
 186
 
 Tuck's Dinner 
 
 opposite. Aunt Amy presided at the 
 head of the table because Nunc Binny 
 " hated so like thunder to do the carv- 
 ing." All were attired in their best and 
 Nunc Binny had brilliantined his bald 
 head specially for the occasion. 
 
 Aunt Amy said grace, giving thanks 
 for what had come, and for what was 
 coming, even if it was always to be but a 
 small favor. Mick looked at Tucker and 
 wondered if he had understood that small 
 favors were always acceptable to Aunt 
 Amy ; Tuck looked at Mick and started 
 the conversation by remarking that fish- 
 ing was good, in the lake back of the 
 house. Doc Nash chimed in and said 
 that the last time he went fishing on that 
 lake was twenty-seven years before, and 
 that Nunc Binny was with him then but 
 wouldn't stay because he wanted to see 
 Aunt Amy home from kindergarten. 
 Aunt Amy mentally figured out that 
 187
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 that proved she wasn't over thirty now 
 and smiled like a pleased child at the 
 doctor. 
 
 Mr. Martin remarked that time flew, 
 and that he couldn't realize it was so 
 long ago that he was escorting Mrs. 
 Martin home from the same kindergarten. 
 Mrs. Martin was years older than Aunt 
 Amy, and she enjoyed the chronological 
 lie, too. Every one knew that every one 
 else was bluffing and felt happy ; as a 
 matter-of-fact neither of the ladies was a 
 day under forty. 
 
 But the crowd got to devouring the 
 beefsteak finally, and Salvina nearly 
 choked herself wondering what Tuck was 
 going to do. There was a brief lull in 
 the conversation while the doctor asked 
 for a third cut, remarking that men of 
 his size couldn't stand on ceremony, and 
 that nature had to be fed. 
 
 Then Tuck caught his friend's eye, 
 188
 
 Tuck's Dinner 
 
 and Michael Connor edged in a 
 word. 
 
 "Ever see a tarantula, Doc?" he 
 queried. " You've been in the South, 
 ain't yer?" 
 
 Dr. Nash braced up. " Surely," he said, 
 "surely; I've seen lots of them in the 
 Indies." 
 
 Mickey felt nervous. 
 
 " Do they sting ? " 
 
 "Do they sting? Well now I don't 
 know whether they sting or bite, but 
 they're awful when they get in their 
 work. They are killers." 
 
 "What do they look like, Doc?" 
 queried Tuck. 
 
 " They look like hairy crabs with fuzzy 
 legs. They're really spiders awful big 
 ones. They walk right up, crawl silently 
 around your ankles, and before you know 
 it they hook on." 
 
 Dr. Nash was helping the game 
 189
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 along beautifully, but he didn't know 
 it. 
 
 Aunt Amy and the girl had just 
 cleared off the table and brought a 
 magnificent plum pudding for dessert. 
 Aunt Amy served it while Mr. Connor, 
 senior, who had grown interested in ta- 
 rantulas, remarked that he saw one 
 once with a body as big as a hen's 
 egg, and legs as long as his fingers, 
 come out of a bunch of bananas from 
 Jamaica. 
 
 Everybody shuddered, and Aunt Amy 
 looked towards a bunch of bananas hang- 
 ing in the kitchen. 
 
 Tuck, seeing his opportunity, suddenly 
 dropped his jaw and looked at Nunc 
 Binny with a scared expression. 
 
 " I saw a terrible big spider come out 
 of that bunch of bananas in the kitchen 
 the other day ; I thought it was a ball of 
 black yarn at first." 
 
 190
 
 Tuck's Dinner 
 
 Uncle Binny looked worried. " Where 
 did it go, Tuck?" 
 
 " It walked sideways into the hole on 
 the porch. Do you suppose it was a 
 tarantula, Nunc?" 
 
 " No impossible. Imagination ! " 
 
 " I don't know," mused Mickey in 
 turn. " I saw a big thing like a spider 
 just now in the kitchen that's why I 
 asked about tarantulas." 
 
 Both the fabricators kept sober faces, 
 and the ladies were already fussing 
 around their skirts. 
 
 Tucker frowned at Mickey ; it was the 
 signal agreed upon, and Mick pulled a 
 string that opened the trap under the 
 table. The mouse, whose foot was at- 
 tached to the trap by a long piece of 
 thread, meandered forth silently and 
 gazed at the row of ankles beneath the 
 table. 
 
 Tuck asked for some water and Aunt 
 191
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Amy filled his glass, while Dr. Nash 
 started to tell a story. 
 
 Then the mouse got busy. 
 
 Aunt Amy felt a gentle tug at her 
 ankle and thought hard. She looked 
 suddenly sick, and then Tuck knew the 
 scheme was all right. 
 
 Next moment Aunt Amy felt a some- 
 thing certainly crawling on her ankle. 
 She quit thinking then and there, and 
 jumping gracefully upon the chair with 
 both feet, swung her right heel and 
 landed right in the centre of the plum 
 pudding, yelling, "I've got 'em taran- 
 tulas ! " 
 
 Everybody stood up at once as she 
 butted her head on the table. 
 
 Dr. Nash responded promptly and 
 seized Aunt Amy gently but firmly. 
 
 " Hysterics, ladies and gentlemen," he 
 said ; " too much tarantula talk." 
 
 Poor Aunt Amy quieted down after a 
 192
 
 Tack's Dinner 
 
 minute, and the mouse reached Nunc 
 Binny's ankle for a change. 
 
 " Hysterics be damned," he shouted as 
 he vaulted over the table. " It's taran- 
 tulas ! " The finishings of the dinner 
 came after him onto the floor and the 
 boys started to pick him up. 
 
 Now Dr. Nash felt a bite. He jumped 
 hastily for the door, but reconsidered, as 
 it was too far, and putting one leg out of 
 the window, started to pull the other after 
 him, but couldn't. 
 
 Everybody looked at him in amaze- 
 ment, and Tuck inquired, 
 
 "What's the matter, Doc?" 
 
 " Shove my leg out of the window, will 
 you ? " he cried. " I've got an important 
 engagement." 
 
 He fell out with the boys' aid, and the 
 others who had partly recovered saw him 
 disappear across the fields like a hunted 
 bear. 
 
 193
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Then everybody went to wondering 
 what it was they had felt until they dis- 
 covered the trap ; then they looked 
 for Tucker and his friend Mickey. 
 
 They couldn't be found. They were 
 in the woods, where Mickey was remark- 
 ing, 
 
 " That there mouse must have broke 
 
 loose, Tuck. Doc has got him, I guess. 
 Did yer ever see such a stunt, Pils? " 
 
 " It went too far. I thought it would 
 go to Nunc Binny he was the nearest." 
 
 11 Sure," assented Mick. " Yer ain't re- 
 sponsible for all a mouse does." 
 
 " That depends upon what Nunc Binny 
 thinks," smiled Tucker Dan ; " but it was 
 the best we ever did, Mick, and it's my 
 last." 
 
 Just then Mr. Binny came running from 
 the house, and the pair heard him shout- 
 ing, " Dr. Nash is wanted find him, 
 somebody ! " 
 
 194
 
 Tuck's Dinner 
 
 It was a truce for a while ; the boys 
 came out of hiding and with Nunc Binny 
 started after the doctor. 
 
 " There's a terrible accident on the rail- 
 road, boys. Dr. Nash's office just 'phoned 
 us. His horse is being hitched now. 
 Hurry ! " 
 
 They scoured the woods and the fields 
 near by, then from a rolling hill they took 
 in the landscape. 
 
 " There's something like a cow sitting 
 down way over there," exclaimed Nunc 
 Binny. 
 
 " It's Doc Nash on a stump," corrected 
 the boys. " He's resting." 
 
 They reached him finally. He was all 
 played out ; his face was beaded with 
 sweat, and he looked half scared to death. 
 
 " What's the matter ? " exclaimed Uncle 
 Binny. 
 
 " Matter matter I Do you suppose I 
 wanted everybody to see me cavorting 
 195
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 round like a fool. I came out here to 
 cavort, you idiot; I've got tarantulas. 
 Darn 'em I'm sitting on 'em." 
 
 " Well, Doc, you'd better move along. 
 There's an accident, and your team will 
 be at my place in a few minutes. The 
 calls of humanity are shrieking for you." 
 
 " Let 'em yell let 'em holler ! I'm 
 sorry for the unfortunates, but doggone 
 it I am delayed on a pressing engage- 
 ment. I'm pressing tarantulas ! I 
 don't dare move." 
 
 Tucker and Mickey began to laugh, 
 and Mr. Binny remarked, 
 
 " It's only hysterics, doctor." 
 
 " Hysterics be darned ! I know a bite 
 a dozen bites from hysterics, you 
 bald-headed loon." 
 
 " How many tarantulas do you sup- 
 pose there were, Tucker ? " queried the 
 doctor, more quietly. 
 
 "We found eleven tarantula nests on 
 196
 
 Tack's Dinner 
 
 * 
 
 the bunch of bananas, Doc," answered the 
 boy with a serious face. 
 
 " Eleven by gosh. I've got 'em all 
 then. I've got a regiment of animals 
 under me." 
 
 Tucker saw the doctor's team in the 
 distance and relented. " It ain't taran- 
 tulas. It's only one mouse, Doc. Mick 
 and I were having fun." 
 
 After a long minute the physician got 
 up and shook himself, and a weak mouse 
 trotted off into the corn-field. 
 
 Then Dr. Nash seized Tucker Dan and 
 Mickey by the collars and said, suppress- 
 ing his appreciation of the joke as well as 
 he could, 
 
 " Will you two swear not to tell about 
 this ? If you do it will hurt my busi- 
 ness." 
 
 Neither boy swore. 
 
 " If you swear, Nunc Binny won't whip 
 you." 
 
 197
 
 Tucker Dan 
 
 Neither boy said a word. 
 
 " If you don't swear, I'll fix you you 
 pirates. You forget I've got your records. 
 I'm on the Board of Health ; and I'll 
 have you vaccinated where it will hurt 
 like the dickens to slide to second base. 
 No more baseball this year." 
 
 Tucker Dan threw up his right hand. 
 " I swear," he said. 
 
 Mickey threw up both hands. " Me 
 too," he murmured ; " me too." 
 
 When they got back to the house the 
 team was just arriving, and all the others 
 of the party were on the porch. 
 
 Dr. Nash, his face no longer showing 
 suppressed levity but grave and earnest, 
 the face of the man ready for any emer- 
 gency, jumped into the carriage with 
 amazing agility for one of his size. 
 
 " Remember, boys," he said warningly, 
 " remember ! " and turning to his 
 driver calmly ordered, 
 198
 
 Tack's Dinner 
 
 " Jim, drive like Sam Hill." 
 
 They watched him disappear in the 
 distance at a fearful speed, and Mr. 
 Martin remarked, " Doctor is a nice fel- 
 low." 
 
 " Yes," assented Aunt Amy as she put 
 her arms on Binny's shoulders, " he's just 
 like this fellow. He's nice and a ' dead 
 game sport.' ' 
 
 They all chuckled. 
 
 "You bet. No flies on Doc and no 
 tarantulas" grinned Tucker Dan. 
 
 THE END 
 
 199
 
 A 000127571 8