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SWELL LIFE AT SEA; 
 
 OB, 
 
 FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING: 
 
 
 A COLLECTION OF NAUTICAL YARNS.' 
 
 FROM THE LOO-BOOK OF 
 
 A YOUNGSTER OP THE MESS. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 NGER & TOWNSEND, 
 
 222 BROADWAY, 
 
 1854. 
 
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1854, 
 
 BY STRINGER & TOWNSEND, 
 
 In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the 
 Southern District of New York. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 TN presenting the present Volume to the 
 -L reading public, we have thought that a word 
 or two of preface would not be out of place. 
 We have always believed that all that was 
 necessary to make a Volume of Nautical Tales 
 popular and acceptable, was to get it up in 
 a good shape, and place it properly before 
 the world. 
 
 The ocean is a vast store-house, from which 
 Literature can extract as many valuables as 
 Commerce. Sea life abounds so greatly in 
 incidents, that nautical tales ever possess a 
 freshness that no other species of composi- 
 tion can possibly lay claim to. In the course 
 of a single year, a maritime officer will pass 
 over a large portion of the world. He starts 
 from New York or London, and in a few 
 days he finds himself surrounded by the aroma 
 of the tropics. Leaving the tropics, he passes 
 down to Cape Horn visits the Indian Ocean 
 looks in upon the Chinese and the next 
 month, perhaps, directs his prow towards the 
 Arctic Ocean, Russian America, and the dan- 
 gers and excitements of Behering's Straits and 
 
iv PREFACE. 
 
 Hudson's Bay. At all these places he supplies 
 himself with new ideas, sees mankind under a 
 new aspect, and enriches his common-place 
 book with a thousand facts and fancies, of 
 whose existence the man of conservative habits 
 has no possible idea. 
 
 The articles which make up this volume 
 have been selected, with great care, from the 
 writings of some of the best authors of the age ; 
 they are of all possible temperaments, from the 
 rollicking adventures of Forbessy to the daring 
 excitements of a Guineaman. 
 
 Should the volume of which we are now 
 speaking meet with that success which it so 
 justly deserves, we shall follow it up with 
 others on the same -subject the whole forming 
 a Nautical Library superior to any yet pub- 
 lished in America. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGB 
 
 CBUISE OF A GUINEAMAN, . i . . ^ . .. 7 
 
 FITZ-GUBIN ; OR, THE ADMIRAL'S PET, . . 47 
 
 HOMEWARD BOUND, . . . - . r . . -\ * 261 
 
 AQUATIC EXPEDITION FROM GIBRATAR TO BARCELONA, 283 
 
 MR. SNIGSBY'S YACHT, -,. . . . ., ;, ^ . 316 
 
 THE DEATH SHOT A TALE OF THE COAST GUARD, . 414 
 
CRUISE OF A GTJINEAMAN, 
 
 MIDSHIPMAN'S LOG. 
 
 BY JOHN W. GOULD, ESQ. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 JACK GARNET/' quoth Tom Seymour, as we stood 
 upon Pier No. 1, North River, one afternoon in July, 
 18 , " do you see my brig, yonder ? She is a sweet craft 
 carries twenty long-eighteens, and a long forty-two, besides 
 two twenty-four pound carronades on the poop, and two on 
 the forecastle ; two hundred men, who are stationed and 
 quartered as in men-of-war ; three officers, whom I call, for 
 fun's sake, second and third lieutenants, and master ; and 
 half-a-dozen boys for reefers. Now I want a first lieutenant, 
 and you are the very fellow. Ship with me, and we'll run 
 down to the Trades in ten days, and then whew ! Go 
 away, salt water I She is a Baltimore clipper, sails like the 
 devil, and will put the wind's eye out on a bowline. Give 
 her one point free, and she's off like a shot. Will you 
 got* 
 
 "Thank you," I replied, "I am somewhat ticklish about 
 the neck. I would rather be hung round the waist. You 
 are too strong to be honest ; and when you are on blue 
 water, you will make some mistake on the subject of pro- 
 
AT SEA; OK, 
 
 perty ; and then the first man-of-war you fall in with, will 
 string you all up at her yard-arm, and that's an elevation 
 for which I am in no wise ambitious. I would rather die in 
 my bed when the time comes." 
 
 " Well," replied Tom, " I am sorry you are so particular 
 about your cravats : but will you go on board and take a 
 look at her ? I hove-short this morning, and shall trip my 
 anchor in half an hour and go to sea. Come, I'll leave you 
 at quarantine." 
 
 We jumped into his boat, (a twelve-oared cutter,) and 
 pulled for the brig. As we neared it a boatswain's call 
 " piped the side;" four side-boys manned the gangway as 
 we passed over, and we were received upon deck in true 
 man-o'-war fashion. 
 
 " Why, Captain Seymour," said I, " you have a regular 
 man-of-war brig here." 
 
 "Yes," he replied, leading the way to his cabin, " she's 
 a Johnny War. Mr. Carline, (second lieutenant,) hoist in 
 boats, and get ready for weighing anchor, sir." 
 
 " Now, Garnet," he continued, as we were drinking wine 
 in the cabin, " you had better reconsider, and go with me. 
 You can make your fortune in one cruise on the coast of 
 Africa, where we are bound." 
 
 " Save your breath to cool your porridge, friend Sey- 
 mour," said I, " for I tell you flatly, I will not go ; and you 
 may as well set your mind at ease on that point, for I have 
 no more dodge about me than the main-mast." 
 
 At this instant, a reefer reported all ready for weighing 
 anchor. 
 
 " Call all hands up anchor, then," said he. " Garnet, 
 will you take the trumpet, just to oblige me ? I have some 
 writing to do before we leave the port." 
 
 I took the deck, accordingly. The capstan was manned, 
 the anchor run up, and sail made ; and with a smacking 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 9 
 
 breeze from the northwest, we dropped down the bay. Just 
 before we reached the quarantine, Seymour came on deck. 
 
 " Captain Seymour," said I, " you will please take com- 
 mand : I wish to be set on shore here. Port, quarter- 
 master. Boatswain's-mate, call away third-cutters." 
 
 " Belay all 1" interrupted Seymour. "Lieutenant Garnet, 
 you are in for it, and shall go with me anyhow." 
 
 "Perhaps I shall," said I, dispatching the trumpet at 
 his head, as I walked forward to the starboard-gangway to 
 look out for a shore-boat. There was none near, and look- 
 ing aft, I saw Seymour clear away the end of the main- 
 royal-halliard, and tie it in a running-bowline. That ma- 
 noeuvre showed me that there was no time to be lost, and 
 as we were now in the narrows, and within a hundred yards 
 of the Stateri Island shore, I buttoned my roundabout, and 
 hailing Seymour, "Here goes for the coast of Africa!" 
 jumped overboard and struck out for the land. 
 
 Seymour, however, was as wide awake as I, and as I rose 
 to strike out the second time, his running-bowline came over 
 my head, caught me round the body, and I was hauled on 
 board before I knew what was the matter. 
 
 " There," said he, laughing, as he met me at the gang- 
 way, " you see I am a bit of a Guacho, and can throw a 
 lasso on a pinch. You are hung round the waist, now, just 
 as you wished not long since." 
 
 My reply to his wit was a blow with my fist, which tum- 
 bled him across the deck in fine style ; but before I could 
 repeat it, I was overpowered, and being taken upon the 
 poop, was lashed hand and foot to a carronade. 
 
 " Now then, Lieutenant Garnet," said Seymour, " when 
 we get out of sight of land, I'll loose you ; but if I were 
 to do it sooner, Fm afraid you would be overboard again." 
 
 As I could not do battle, I quietly submitted to my fate, 
 because swearing would do no good. So now behold me, 
 
 1* 
 
10 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 bound for foreign parts first lieutenant of a brig-of-war 
 anchored head and stern athwart-ships of a carronade. As 
 we passed the forts, the first object which met our view was 
 the frigate Constellation, at anchor in the lower bay. 
 
 " The devil !" said Seymour, clapping a spy-glass to his 
 eye ; " she dropped down yesterday, and had, I supposed, 
 gone to sea. I remember they looked at me pretty hard as 
 they passed me at anchor, and now they are waiting to 
 catch me. Fll weather them yet." 
 
 As we neared the frigate, I observed some motion aboard 
 of her ; and in an instant after, all the ports of the main- 
 gun-deck, on the starboard side the side toward us, as she 
 rode at anchor were taken out, and the tompions of all 
 that battery followed. 
 
 " Do you see that, Captain Seymour ?" said I, smiling. 
 
 "I do, Lieutenant Garnet," was his reply. "Port, 
 quarter-master." 
 
 " Port, sir." 
 
 "Mr. Carline," he continued, "take the deck, sir, while I 
 uniform. Keep her head for the stern of that frigate." 
 
 He went into the cabin, and in a moment reappeared, in 
 the full uniform of the United States' Navy, cocked-hat, 
 sword, a pair of pistols in his belt, and a cigar in his mouth. 
 As he came upon the poop, a sheet of red flame glanced 
 from one of the Constellation's ports, which was followed 
 by the emphatic report of a thirty-two-pounder. The ball, 
 by accident of course, struck our cut-water, and made us 
 minus a figure-head. 
 
 "The English of that," said Seymour, "is 'come-to, you 
 rascal.' Since my friend, the commodore, wishes it, I'll do 
 that thing. Port, quarter-master. Keep her for the bows 
 of the Constellation. Loose royals and to'gallantsails, for 
 we've a stiff breeze, and I have no idea of being afraid of 
 them. Send up our black ensign, signal-quarter-master, at 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 11 
 
 the peak, fore and main, and under it the American flag ! 
 There I" smacking his lips, as that dread banner floated 
 gayly on the breeze, over the stars and stripes, " that will 
 do better. Lieutenant Garnet, what say you ?" 
 
 " Go to the devil I" I replied, for I was not in the best of 
 humor. 
 
 " If I do, Lieutenant John Garnet," said he, complacently, 
 " I have the satisfaction of knowing that you will sail in 
 company." 
 
 "Cast loose both batteries," he continued, "and load 
 each a round-shot, a stand of grape and canister, and fill 
 the long forty-two to the muzzle." 
 
 When we were about two hundred yards from the frigate, 
 dashing ahead at ten knots, he ordered the drums to beat 
 to quarters, took his stand upon the starboard-quarter rail 
 to cun the brig, and sung out : 
 
 " Slack the lee-braces round-in the weather ones star- 
 board the helm, hard-a-starboard !" 
 
 We fell off before the wind, and passed abreast the Con- 
 stellation, as she rode head to the wind, so closely, that the 
 muzzles of her long main-deckers almost touched our bul- 
 warks. The captain of the Constellation stood abaft upon 
 the signal-locker ; and Seymour coolly tossing his cigar upon 
 her deck, hailed him : 
 
 " Brother commodore, if you are short of hands, I'll lend 
 you a hundred, and take payment in round-shot and 
 canister." 
 
 " Commodore Montague," / hailed, " I am detained here 
 by force. Compel my release, sir." 
 
 " Heave-to, you sir," said Montague to Seymour, " and 
 send that man aboard of me, instantly." 
 
 " Fll see you first," was Seymour's resolute reply. 
 
 " Heave-to, instantly," repeated Montague, " or I'll sink 
 you V 9 
 
12 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Do it, and be to you," replied Seymour, drawing 
 
 his cutlass in defence. " Man the starboard-battery ! Port, 
 hard-a-port stand by mind the weather roll fire I" 
 
 We passed under the Constellation's stern, raking her, as 
 each gun came to bear, dismounting her stern chasers, and 
 clearing her main-gun-deck entirely, for the moment. 
 
 " Starboard the helm I" hailed Seymour, firing a pistol at 
 Montague. 
 
 We fell off before the wind, and keeping the Constella- 
 tion's three masts in one, made all sail for the bar, there 
 being no time for chat, as she of course would instantly slip 
 her cable, and bring her broadside to bear. Our fears were 
 groundless, though Seymour's matchless effrontery was all 
 that saved him. While the Constellation's guns actually 
 bore upon us, they were restrained from firing, by their 
 amazement at the impudence of the " little fellow ; w and, at 
 this moment, they could not fire if they would. Their cap- 
 stan-bars were shipped, and everything was in readiness for 
 weighing anchor, when we hove in sight ; but our strange 
 conduct perplexed Captain Montague, and our raking 
 broadside completely nonplussed him. Our shot unshipped 
 his capstan-bars, cut up his messenger, and totally demol- 
 ished the bitts where the cable was belayed ; in consequence 
 of which, the cable ran out until it was brought up by 
 getting foul in the hause-hole, and there it was jammed 
 perfectly fast. 
 
 The combination of so many unusual events produced an 
 unwonted result ; and for the first time since tar and oakum 
 came into fashion, a United States' ship was in confusion ; 
 and before order was restored, we were across the bar, and 
 nearly out of shot, without the loss of a man. Perceiving 
 that I might as well make the best of a bad bargain, I 
 hailed Seymour : 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 13 
 
 i 
 
 " Cut these lashings, Tom ; I will do as you wish, since 
 I can't avoid it." 
 
 " You are a clever fellow, Garnet," said he, complying 
 with my request ; "I like your spunk. You are just the 
 man to be my first lieutenant : will you take that 
 command ?" 
 
 " I will," said I, " and I'll be obeyed and respected 
 accordingly." 
 
 " It is a bargain," he replied, grasping my hand ; and, 
 turning to his crew, he informed them of my elevation, and 
 commanded their obedience. 
 
 " The Constellation has slipped her cable, sir," reported 
 the signal-quarter-master, " and is making all sail in chase." 
 . y erv good," answered Seymour, " she cannot catch us." 
 
 "You are wrong there," said I, " she brings the breeze 
 with her, and as it will soon blow a gale, she will have the 
 advantage." 
 
 " Night is coming on," said Seymour, " and we'll dodge 
 them. That we can do at any rate." 
 
 " You will please remember, Captain Seymour," said I, 
 " that you have a Yankee to deal with ; and, moreover, the 
 fellows whose skins you chafed with grape and cannister 
 will feel rather touchy,' and keep a bright look-out." 
 
 " Ay," replied he, smiling, " and the commodore, too, 
 will like an opportunity to return my pistol-shot. Take 
 the deck, Garnet, while I work up my reckoning, and make 
 my will." 
 
 It was now growing dark, and the array of clouds in the 
 northwest, and the increasing swell of the sea, plainly 
 showed that a gale was coming. It was, therefore, neces- 
 sary to get all the start we could before it came on to blow ; 
 for in a gale the Constellation, being larger and heavier, 
 could carry sail longer than we, and of course would over- 
 
14 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 take us. I accordingly gave orders to set fore and main- 
 royals, and fore and mam-topmast-studdin'-sails, and as she 
 bore that well, I added topgallant -studdin'-sails, boarded 
 the starboard-tack?, and putting her head south-by-west, 
 we were off at twelve knots an hour. 
 
 It was now nearly dark, but with our night glasses we 
 could see the Constellation, under sky-sails, and royal-stud- 
 dm'-sails, steering directly for us, with the speed and the 
 fury of an avalanche. 
 
 " Well/ 7 said Seymour, watching her with his spy-glass, 
 "unless Montague takes in his sky-sails and royal-studdin'- 
 sails pretty soon, he will have the royal-masts over the side, 
 for the breeze is much fresher with him than with us." 
 
 At this moment a heavy squall struck the Constellation : 
 as soon as it cleared up, the sign al^quarter-m aster reported 
 that her sky-sails and royal-studdin'-sails were blown away. 
 
 " That's good news," said Seymour, chuckling ; " Garnet, 
 we'll distance them yet." '"'*' 
 
 " She has bent new sky-sails, sir," reported the quarter- 
 master, a moment after. 
 
 " The devil she has !" said Tom, stopping short in his 
 walk " why, she's in earnest. Set our royal-studdin'-sails, 
 and sky-sails, Mr. Garnet we'll pull foot." 
 
 I obeyed the order, and away we went, with our studdin'- 
 sail tacks, and royal and skysail back-stays, as taut as bars 
 of iron. 
 
 For a while nothing material happened, and each about 
 held her own ; but at two bells in the evening watch, the 
 Constellation's skysails and royal-studdin'-sails blew away, 
 and the skysail masts overboard. 
 
 " That is a fair hint," observed Seymour : " Mr. Garnet, 
 we'll save our skysails, and royal-studdin'-sails. Take them 
 in, sir." 
 
 The order was obeyed, and for a moment the brig was 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 15 
 
 easier but the wind freshening very much, we were obliged 
 soon after to furl the royals ; and, shortening sail as it be- 
 came necessary, at four bells in the evening-watch we were 
 under main-to'-gallantsail, while the frigate had all three 
 to'-gallantsails and main royal standing, coming on " hand 
 over fist." At six bells she was within range of our long 
 forty-two a heavier gun than any she carried. It being 
 run out at a stern port, Seymour pointed it himself, and 
 watching the send-forward, fired. The ball struck the 
 frigate's figure-head, scattering it about in fine style. 
 
 " There/ 7 said Seymour, laughing, " we are even now. 
 She knocked my figure-head to pieces in the bay, and now 
 I have given her as good.*' 
 
 After we had fired a few times, the frigate's bow-chasers 
 began to give tongue ; and, each hoping to disable the 
 other, shots were exchanged with great gusto, although it 
 was too dark to see the effect. But, in spite of everything, 
 she continued to gain upon us, and at two bells in the mid- 
 watch was within two miles of us, the wind blowing a gale, 
 under whole topsails and courses, while we had a reef in 
 each. 
 
 As a last refuge, we bore off before the wind, continuing 
 to blaze away with our long forty-two, while she, as we kept 
 her three masts in one, could not fire a shot ; but, although 
 our shot evidently told, they did not do much mischief. 
 
 At four bells in the mid-watch, she was within half-a-mile, 
 and was preparing to give us a broadside, which would have 
 paid off all scores, when a tremendous squall suddenly came 
 over, and it became entirely dark. 
 
 We hauled our wind instantly, boarded our larboard- 
 tacks, put out every light, a-nd kept silence fore-and-aft. The 
 frigate, not aware of that manoeuvre, continued her course, 
 and in five minutes dashed past us, and we were safe, being 
 dead to windward. It continued very dark for half an 
 
16 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 hour, and when it finally cleared up a little, the Constellation 
 was nearly hull-down in the southeast. So we escaped her 
 that time, and when we had stood northeast long enough, 
 we squared away, and as the gale moderated, made all sail 
 for the southward and eastward. 
 
 A few days after these occurrences, the look-out aloft, 
 one morning, reported a sail ahead crossing our course. 
 
 " Keep her away for that vessel, sir," said Seymour to 
 the officer of the deck, "and call all hands to make sail." 
 
 Taking the deck, as, according to man-of-war rules, it 
 was my duty to do when all hands were called, I made all 
 sail a trifle quicker than lightning, and then surrendered the 
 trumpet to the officer of the watch. 
 
 The stranger, perceiving that we were chasing him, made 
 all sail to avoid us ; but it was not so easy to escape, when 
 it put the wind out of breath to keep up with us ; and ac- 
 cordingly we were very soon so near that they, in obedi- 
 ence, to our signal-gun, hove to. We hove-to also, and a 
 boat being lowered and manned, Seymour said to me : 
 
 "When I wave my handkerchief, Garnet, send up our 
 black ensign at the main, and fire a gun across that fellow's 
 bows ;" and jumping into the boat, he boarded the stran- 
 ger, whom we now perceived was an outward-bound English 
 East-Indiaman. We were so near, that I distinctly saw 
 all his motions. Leaving the crew in the boat, he boarded 
 the Englishman alone, and meeting her captain at the gang- 
 way, he saluted him very politely, and took a turn or two 
 with him upon the deck, as if inquiring the news. Shortly 
 after, however, he apparently made some disagreeable re- 
 mark, for they both stopped, and began to gesticulate vio- 
 lently, as if their discourse was becoming interesting ; and 
 Seymour, drawing his handkerchief from his pocket, care- 
 lessly waved it, by way of accenting his discourse. In- 
 stantly the sable banner of piracy floated at the mast-head, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 17 
 
 and an eighteen-pound shot, travelling across the English- 
 man's fore-foot, put an end to his opposition, and he began 
 to execute Seymour's mandates. A lot of kegs were shortly 
 after passed into our boat, in a manner which showed that, 
 at the least, they were heavy, and Seymour, courteously bid- 
 ding Captain Bull adieu, pulled aboard. 
 
 "Hoist those up carefully, my lads," said he. 
 
 "What have you there, Captain Seymour ?" I inquired. 
 
 " Only a few thousand guineas, Lieutenant Garnet," he 
 replied, "which I borrowed from that ship." 
 
 "He'll be lucky," said I, "if he ever gets his pay." 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 ONE morning, about forty-five days after we left New- 
 York, we made land in the Gulf of Guinea. Crowding all 
 sail, we rapidly approached it, and were within five or six 
 miles, when a long, low, black, suspicious-looking schooner, 
 shot out from behind a small island, a short distance ahead, 
 and, without asking any questions, bore down for us. 
 
 "Ready-about! ready, ready!" hailed Seymour, with 
 startling quickness, seizing the trumpet. The helm was 
 put down, and in an instant we were on the other tack, 
 standing out to sea. 
 
 " I know her !" ejaculated Seymour " she is^an English 
 man-of-war, and is commanded by one of the sharpest ras- 
 cals that ever drew pay and rations. He calls his schooner 
 the ' Dare-devil/ and no ame was ever so appropriate, for 
 both master and vessel. He attacks everything, large and 
 small ; laughs at steel and gunpowder, and I do not believe 
 he knows what fear is. The world is not wide enough to 
 hold both of us, and come what may, there will be one ras- 
 cal less on the seas at sunset. I have sworn vengeance 
 
18 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 against him, and I will take it so amply, that none shall 
 live to report to the Lords of the Admiralty in what man- 
 ner one of his Majesty >s cruisers went to the devil." 
 
 When we were twelve or fifteen miles from the land, we 
 tacked again, and although the breeze was a stiff one, set 
 every inch of canvas and stood in for the shore. The 
 schooner continued her course, and standing on opposite 
 tacks, we rapidly neared each other. Our ports were 
 closed, and as we made no use of our guns, the English 
 evidently supposed that what appeared to be long eighteens, 
 were actually quaker-guns, made of the best of wood for 
 show, not use and that our plan was to cross their hawse, 
 and run in-shore. 
 
 As soon as we were within range, they opened upon us 
 with a long twenty-four ; and, to do them justice, they 
 tossed their iron with most terrible exactness and consider- 
 able effect ; but as her shot hulled us, they did not interfere 
 with Seymour's plan. 
 
 Ordering the men to lie down upon deck, to avoid the 
 Englishman's fire, he continued to walk upon the poop as 
 composedly as if he were ball-proof ; although, as her bat- 
 tery (long-twelves) began to take effect, the shot flew 
 thick as hail, tearing open our bulwarks, and knocking the 
 white splinters about in every direction. As we approached 
 still nearer, her musketry opened upon us in full volley ; 
 yet, although he was the target for every shot, he seemed 
 totally unconscious of danger. With a flushed cheek, and 
 an eye flashing fire, he stood proudly erect, and delivered 
 his orders to the man-at-the-whed, as composedly as if he 
 were setting a studdin'-sail. 
 
 When our flying-jib-boom was nearly locking with hers, 
 he suddenly shouted, with a voice like a trumpet-call : 
 " STARBOARD THE HELM !" We fell off from the wind, and, 
 rising upon a wave, our heavy bows struck the fated vessel 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 19 
 
 amidships with a tremendous crash. We passed clean over, 
 cutting her completely in two : an unearthly yell arose from 
 a hundred and fifty brave fellows, as they sunk quick to the 
 bottom ; and when we flew aft to catch a glimpse of the 
 wreck, nothing was visible, save the pennant at the main- 
 to'-gallant-mast-head, which for an instant floated upon the 
 surface of the deep, and was then drawn down after the 
 hapless wretches, who had so often shed their blood in its 
 defence 1 
 
 Having passed the vortex caused by her going down, the 
 brig was hove-to ; as I supposed for the purpose of picking 
 up the survivors, if there were any. But such was not 
 Seymour's plan and one poor fellow, who, stunned and 
 strangling, rose to the surface, clinging to a spar for dear 
 life, was not even allowed the miserable privilege of floating 
 upon it, until the sharks, or the burning sun of the Equator, 
 should put a period to his agony, but was deliberately shot 
 by Seymour himself, acting upon the stern maxim that 
 " dead men tell no tales." A deed of so dark a hue was 
 never before perpetrated under the azure sky, nor on the 
 deep sea, since the unborn surges slumbered in chaos, and 
 darkness lay upon the face of the deep. 
 
 "Mr. Garnet," said Seymour, recovering his rifle as 
 if he had been shooting a duck, " fill the main-topsail, and 
 stand iii-shore." 
 
 Three times I raised the trumpet to my lips, to give the 
 necessary orders, and as often withdrew it ; and finally, 
 being totally unable to command either my voice or my 
 feelings, I dashed it down upon deck, and walked away 
 without a word. 
 
 Seymour looked up at me in surprise, and then, deliberately 
 picking up the trumpet, gave the requisite commands with 
 his usual composure. When we were under-way, standing 
 for the shore, he ordered the boatswain to call " all hands 
 
20 SWELL-LIFE AT SEA) OB, 
 
 to splice the main-brace," remarking, that the toast should 
 be, "Here's wishing the Dare-devils a pleasant passage 
 to 1" 
 
 " Garnet," said Seymour, when we were about three 
 miles from the shore, " do you see that head-land yonder, 
 in the south-east? It is the northern cape of the bay 
 which we shall enter, and is now sixteen miles distant. I 
 wish you to observe the course we take to fetch it, and then 
 say if this coast was not cut out for the express benefit of 
 the slave-trade." 
 
 We continued our course, steering head-on, until within 
 half a mile of the shore, and then hauled our wind, and put 
 her head due south, keeping parallel to the beach. About 
 ten minutes afterward, the look-out, on the fore-topsail- 
 yard, sung out : 
 
 " Breakers ahead !" 
 
 Seymour was standing upon the poop, looking astern : 
 he turned short around at this announcement, and hailed : 
 
 " Fore-topsail-yard there ! Two points on the starboard 
 bow, you lubber, distant two miles." 
 
 " Captain Seymour," said I, in surprise, "your eye-sight 
 is better than mine. Those breakers are not visible from 
 the deck." 
 
 " I know it," he replied, " but I am as well acquainted 
 with every inch of this coast as you are with the pavements 
 of Broadway. I could sail a line-of-battle-ship through this 
 channel, in perfect safety, the darkest night old ocean ever 
 saw, by the lead alone. Straight as you go, quarter- 
 master." 
 
 " Dise, no higher," repeated he at the cun. 
 
 "These breakers," continued Seymour, " are caused by a 
 reef of rocks, running across the mouth of that bay, and 
 stretching ten miles each way, parallel to the beach, and 
 distant from it, on the average, half a mile. Inside the 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 21 
 
 reef we have a clear, safe channel, carrying ten fathom 
 water, to within a ship's length of the beach, and at both 
 ends a safe entrance. Now all this is for our particular 
 benefit ; for, in order to enter that bay a vessel must go all 
 this distance around ; and while a man-of-war comes in at 
 one end, we can slip out at the other. If this does not 
 prove that Jemmy Flatfoot had a hand in laying out the 
 coast of Africa, yon may call me a marine." 
 
 " Pretty good reasoning, friend Seymour," said I : 
 ''you've made it very plain that the Devil is chief cook 
 and bottle-washer for the slave-trade. I don't wonder it 
 prospers so well, since he is at the wheel." 
 
 We were now inside the reef, and sailing along rapidly, 
 were within a mile of the entrance to the bay, when a small 
 canoe shoved off from the shore, and we were boarded by 
 one of the most hideous-looking black rascals that ever 
 walked on two feet. Running up the side like a monkey, 
 he tumbled over the gangway, and accosted Seymour, who 
 met him there, as an old friend ; and after jabbering away 
 a few minutes in some barbarous lingo, he took a bottle of 
 rum, which Seymour had ordered for him, rolled into his 
 canoe, and run it high and dry on the beach. He brought 
 himself to anchor in the sand, and began to discuss the con- 
 tents of the said bottle with an earnestness which plainly 
 showed that they two would not part company, until one 
 or t'other knocked under. 
 
 "Mr. Garnet," said Seymour, walking aft, "my good 
 friend there has informed me, that there are now two Eng- 
 lish frigates at anchor in the bay. I must send them both 
 to sea in twenty minutes after I enter. Do you speak Por- 
 tuguese ?" 
 
 "Si, Senhor," said I, " and every other language ; except- 
 ing, always, the gibberish of that black friend of yours." 
 
 " Yery good," he replied ; " I shall report myself to the 
 
22 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 English as Don So-and-so, (with a string of titles as long as 
 the main-to'-bowline,) commander of the Brazilian brig-of- 
 war AchilM, 24, on a cruise ; and will spin them a yarn, 
 which will clear the bay of them as soon as they can up 
 anchor. I have Brazilian uniforms for all the officers and 
 myself, which we will bend now, and walk into the bay 
 under Brazilian colors." 
 
 We rigged ourselves accordingly, and mustering upon the 
 poop, sailed into the harbor, with the Brazilian ensign at 
 the peak. It was quite small, and the English frigates 
 were at anchor, near the centre of it, some distance asun- 
 der. Gradually shortening sail, we backed our main-top- 
 sail abreast the Commodore's ship, within about two hun- 
 dred yards ; and when we had lost headway, I roared out 
 in Portuguese (for their edification:) 
 
 " Let go the starboard anchor !" twisting the n's and the 
 o j s and the r's about in every direction. We then furled 
 sails, squared the yards by the lifts and braces, hooked the 
 yard-tackles, hoisted our boats, and manning the captain's 
 barge with Portuguese, Seymour pulled aboard the English 
 flag-ship. He was received with the usual honors, and had 
 been on board but a few minutes, when three small flags 
 were fun up at the mizen, and a gun fired to awake the 
 other frigate. Not being conversant with the English code 
 of signals, I did not know what to make of this, when an 
 old quarter-master, who had served under Nelson, perceiv- 
 ing my ignorance, informed me that it was, " Hoist in 
 boats, and prepare to weigh." 
 
 The English ships were now all alive. Boat after boat 
 was dropped alongside from the guess-warp, and hoisted in, 
 two at a time, (one each side,) decks cleared up, and cap- 
 stans manned. At this moment Seymour came over the 
 gangway of the flag-ship, and as he shoved off, the Brazilian 
 flag was sent up at the fore, and saluted with eleven guns. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 23 
 
 We returned the salute British ensign at the fore, with the 
 same number and as they, having weighed anchor, swept 
 past us, making sail, we gave them three cheers, which were 
 duly returned. 
 
 " Seymour," said I, when the bustle was over, " what did 
 you tell that fellow ?" 
 
 " Oh I" said he, recovering breath after a severe fit of 
 laughter, "it was not any of your land-yarns, slack-twisted 
 stuff ; it was an out-and-outer. When I first boarded her, 
 I began by asking, very coolly, in Portuguese, what were 
 the names of the frigates, where they were from, and where 
 bound, and whom I had the honor of addressing, etc. The 
 crusty old commodore, having answered my questions in as 
 few words as possible, in Spanish, desired to know the same 
 of me, and asked if I could speak English. But devil the 
 bit of English could I speak : ' No intendez Englise, Senor,' 
 said I, with a face as long as the jib-do wnhaul, and then 
 proceeded to tell him that my name was ' Don So-and-so ;' 
 that my brig was the Brazilian brig-of-war Achille on a 
 cruise ; that we fell in, this morning, with a suspicious-look- 
 ing schooner, mounting eighteen guns, under English colors, 
 and gave her chase ; but as she stood out to sea, and sailed 
 very fast, we had given over the chase, because we had been 
 on short allowance of water for ten days, and had only one 
 day's allowance left, and dared not stand out until we had 
 filled;, that I came in Ifere for a supply, and intended to 
 sail the next day, and catch the slaver if possible, and sling 
 up the rascals at my yard-arm ; and added, by way of 
 clincher, that I wished they would not trouble themselves 
 about her, but leave her for me, as I had set my heart on 
 sending her to the bottom. 
 
 " ' That will do for marines/ said the commodore to his 
 first lieutenant, in English ; ' on short allowance of water, 
 indeed I If he had said short allowance of courage, he 
 
24 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 would have come nearer the truth. He was afraid the 
 slaver would be a Scotch prize to him, if he meddled with 
 her. He will take the best of good care not to chase her 
 again. He set his heart on sending them to the bottom, 
 indeed ! ha, ha, ha !' And the old knight laughed loud 
 and long at my bravado. Then, turning to me, he asked 
 in Spanish all about the schooner, when I saw her, the 
 course she was steering, when I lost sight of her, etc., and 
 ended by ordering his first lieutenant to hoist in boats, and 
 prepare to weigh, making signal to the other frigate to dp 
 the same. He then talked about matters and things ; 
 asked, and told the news ; and when I took leave, waited 
 on me to the gangway very politely, expressing his sorrow 
 that he had not time to visit me, but hoped that, as I should 
 sail to-morrow, we should meet on the sea, and perhaps 
 have the pleasure of capturing the pirate together ; adding, 
 with a wink to his first lieutenant, which nearly capsized my 
 gravity, that nothing would gratify him more than to fight 
 in such valiant company. So much for so much," continued 
 Seymour, bursting into a roar of laughter, in which all 
 hands heartily joined : " Hurra for John Bull 1" 
 
 By the time our mirth had subsided, the English frigates 
 were out of sight, having doubled the northern point of the 
 bay. Seymour having satisfied himself of this fact, said to 
 me : 
 
 "All hands up anchor! Mr. Garnet, this bay is no 
 place for us." 
 
 After giving the requisite orders in preparation, I desired 
 to know for what purpose he weighed, and whither we 
 were bound. 
 
 "We are going up the river, to be sure," he replied, "in 
 order to get our live lumber aboard." 
 
 " I see no river," said I, looking carefully around the 
 bay. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 25 
 
 " I will show it to you in fifteen minutes," answered Sey- 
 mour : " so now up anchor, for the wind is fair, and we've 
 no time to lose." 
 
 The anchor was soon at the bows, and sail being made, 
 we stood for the head of the bay, which, as I h.ave already 
 said, was quite small about three miles in length, and one 
 in width at the mouth narrowing, of course, toward the 
 head. The land around it was considerably elevated, and 
 densely covered with tall mangroves and nowhere could I 
 see the least indication of a river the coast of the bay 
 being of a uniform elevation. We went on, however, with 
 all sail set and as we neared the head of the bay, I ob- 
 served that the water did not shoal so much as usual, but 
 still I saw nothing of the river. When about a cable's 
 length from the beach, Seymour sung out : 
 
 " Man the starboard braces slack the larboard ones 
 square away 1" 
 
 We continued our course an instant longer, and then put- 
 ting up the helm, doubled a point, and entered an inlet, 
 which stretched inland toward the northeast, while our 
 course from the mouth of the bay had been due east. It 
 was exceedingly narrow so much so, indeed, that it seemed 
 impossible for two large ships to lie abreast in any part of 
 it, and especially at the entrance. The tide was now com- 
 ing in, and the wind being fair, we sailed quietly along, and 
 were about half-way through the channel, when the lands- 
 man in the chains, who had been lazily reporting five, and 
 four and a half fathom, suddenly came out with " A quar- 
 ter less three," and an instant after " A half-two." 
 
 " Well, Mr. Garnet," said Seymour, smiling at my sudden 
 start caused by this announcement, " do you think we are 
 aground? This channel above us carries fifteen feet water 
 to the bank on both sides, and is perfectly clear. There 
 you see Jemmy Flatfoot again for a line-of-battle ship 
 
26 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 could come into it easy enough, but the next thing they 
 knew, they would be fast in the mud, while we, drawing 
 less than fifteen feet, slip along unhurt. You had better 
 keep your eyes about you now, for we may be obliged to 
 fight our way out of here yet." 
 
 For half a mile, the narrow channel was perfectly straight, 
 but at the end of that distance, it formed an angle of forty- 
 five degrees and, on doubling the point, we found ourselves 
 in a fine, wide river, which stretched away to the eastward 
 as far as the eye could reach. 
 
 "Now, John Garnet," said Seymour, "here is a river for 
 you, which would not suffer much alongside of the Hudson, 
 
 and moreover Main chains there 1 What water have 
 
 you ?" 
 
 The leadsman hove and sung out : " By the mark, five." 
 
 "Do you hear that?" continued Seymour; "you see 
 there is no want of water here." 
 
 " Yes," I replied, " and I am now convinced that your 
 friend blocked out this place for your especial benefit." 
 
 Shortly after, we came to anchor near the north bank of 
 the river, and about two miles from the last angle. On this 
 bank was a collection of miserable mud huts, called a town; 
 and firing a gun to awake them, we soon had the governor 
 thereof on board, an unforgotten mortal, who, after con- 
 fabulating awhile with Seymour, promised him that our 
 freight should "have quick dispatch," as he had half a cargo 
 in store, and knew where to catch the rest. Then, being a 
 large man in his way, he "punished" a quart of half-and- 
 half, and, undisturbed by the trifling potation, took a ten- 
 gallon keg, jumped into his canoe, and went on his errand 
 of love. 
 
 About noon of the fourth day after our arrival, as we lay 
 quietly at anchor waiting our cargo, Seymour, who had been 
 ashore, returned aboard in great haste, and ordered me to 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 27 
 
 .all all hands up anchor, which being done, we were towed 
 down stream again just above the angle in the river. 
 
 "JSTow then, Mr. Garnet," said Seymour, "get a spring 
 on the cable, and slew us round, so that our starboard bat- 
 tery will command that entrance, for I have just been in- 
 formed that three English men-of-war (a ship-of-the-line and 
 two frigates) are entering the bay." 
 
 "If it be so," said I, " they cannot get more than half 
 way up the narrow channel, as you well know." 
 
 " Ay," he replied, " but their boats, my man their boats 
 can come up." 
 
 The spring was accordingly applied to the cable, and our 
 broadside brought to bear upon the entrance of the before- 
 mentioned channel. We lay about two hundred yards due 
 east from it, so that anything coming up could not see us 
 until the point was doubled, for the intervening land was 
 high, and thickly wooded. Our guns were then examined, an 
 extra stand of cannister put into each, and the starboard 
 battery depressed and pointed at the angle of the river. 
 We had scarcely finished our preparations, when a six- 
 oared cutter shot out from behind the point, steering up 
 the stream. 
 
 "I give you fair warning," shouted Seymour: "''bout 
 ship, or I'll blow you out of water." 
 
 "Ay, ay, my fine fellow," said the English lieutenant, 
 coolly ordering his men to lie on their oars "of what 
 nation are you ? where from where bound and what are 
 you doing here ?" 
 
 "There," said Seymour, pointing to our black flag, 
 which was at 'this instant run up at the peak "there is my 
 flag the rest of me you'll find out if you come so near 
 again. Now I advise you to pull back to your ship, other- 
 wise All ready, starboard battery !" 
 
 "Thank you for the hint, friend," said the English lieu- 
 
28 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 tenant, "and, in return, I'll inform you that an English 
 seventy-four and two frigates are at anchor in the bay." 
 
 "I knew all that before/' replied Seymour, unconcern 
 edly. 
 
 "Well," said the Englishman, putting his boat about, 
 "it's my opinion you'll know it again so, good-bye, so 
 long ;" and his men slowly giving way, he quietly doubled 
 the point, and pulled down the river. 
 
 "Now, Garnet," said Seymour, "we'll have some fight- 
 ing shortly, for I can't' afford to be blocked up here, and 
 must and will be at sea in eight-and-forty hours, come what 
 may." 
 
 "That's easier said than done," I replied; "for that 
 liner's broadside would be no child's play." 
 
 " Poh !" said he, contemptuously, "I see you don't under- 
 stand all the tricks of the trade, yet. Take our third-cutter, 
 and pull down that channel as far as is safe, keeping close 
 in shore, and then take to the bushes, and find out what 
 those Englishmen are doing, and return quickly. Mean- 
 while, I will send ashore for my slaves." 
 
 I pulled down stream accordingly, but seeing nothing, I 
 left the boat in care of the crew, and went on through the 
 forest alone, down to the hill overlooking the bay. I then 
 saw that the frigates were the same we had sent to sea after 
 the pirate, and the liner was a heavy one, carrying a hun- 
 dred guns. They had anchored, at first, in the centre of the 
 bay, but now all had weighed again. The frigates stood 
 down the bay, and anchored, one on each side of the mouth , 
 athwart-ships of the channel outside, while the line-of- 
 battle sailed up to the head of the bay, put her helm down, 
 and bringing everything flat aback, shoved herself into the 
 narrow channel her own length, stern foremost, and then 
 anchored head and stern in the middle of it. 
 
 " Pretty good seamanship, Mr. Bull," thought I, as I oto 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 29 
 
 served this plugging-up manoeuvre for there appeared to be 
 scarcely room for her boats to pull alongside of her, much 
 less for a ship to pass "it will not be easy to run by a 
 fellow as wide awake as you are." 
 
 I had now ascertained all that was needful so I returned 
 to my boat, which had lain snug under the bushes, about 
 half-way down the channel. As the Englishman's guns com- 
 manded the whole of it, we were obliged to unship our oars, 
 and scull up stream, keeping well under the banks and it 
 was well we did so, for just before we reached the angle in 
 the river, we carelessly shot into the middle of the stream, 
 when, quicker than thought, six thirty-two pound shot whis- 
 tled over our heads, followed by a roar of genuine English 
 thunder. We were not desirous of any more such, and 
 took to our oars : giving way strongly we doubled the point 
 just as six more round shot kicked up the water astern of 
 us. 
 
 " Pretty good gunnery, Mr. Bull," thought I, as I pulled 
 alongside the brig, and made report to Seymour. " I have 
 no desire to play at short bowls with you." 
 
 I had scarcely gained the vessel, when the Englishman 
 began to fire his stern-chasers, one a minute, up the channel, 
 and the thirty-two pound shot skipped along over the water, 
 and dashed through the forest, knocking trees and earth 
 about in every direction and, of course, completely com- 
 manding the whole length of the channel. We were at first 
 at a loss for the reason of this firing, but when night came 
 on, and a palpable darkness fell upon us, and the English- 
 man commenced a rapid fire of round-shot, grape and can- 
 nister, we knew at once that his object was to prevent our 
 playing any " Yankee shine " upon him. He had obtained 
 the proper range before dark, and as his shot swept the 
 eastern channel, we were glad to keep very clear of it. 
 
 About midnight, however, Seymour determined to try his 
 

 30 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 hand at the game, and ordered me to take fifty men, armed 
 with cutlasses, pistols and muskets, and go down through 
 the woods as near to the Englishman as was prudent, and 
 then sweep his decks with musketry. Being landed on the 
 left bank of the river, we silently wound our way through 
 the forest, and approached to within half-musket shot of 
 him unheard, and each taking a tree for a screen, according 
 to old Kentuck principles, we opened upon him in fine style, 
 directed by the flash of his stern-chasers, with which he was 
 still sweeping the channel. Although the Englishman was 
 evidently surprised by our sudden attack, he took it very 
 coolly, and without knocking off from his stern-chasers a 
 moment, the marines and small-arm-men were summoned to 
 their stations, according to the regular routine of nautical 
 war, and in five minutes his ship was one entire blaze of 
 musketry, fore and aft. Here, however, we had all the 
 advantage, being considerably elevated, and entirely pro- 
 tected by the trees ; the flashes of our guns (their only 
 guide) were of course small, but the broad sheets of flame 
 from her stern-chasers completely illuminated her deck, 
 affording us every facility for accurate shooting. 
 
 The Englishman soon found that this method of proce- 
 dure would not do, but from our peculiar situation it was 
 somewhat difficult to tell what would do. The banks of 
 the channel were quite bold, rising at an angle of sixty de- 
 grees, and the place we occupied was so much elevated, that 
 the guns of her larboard battery could not be brought to 
 bear upon us at all. While I was congratulating myself on 
 the advantage we evidently had over them, their fire of mus- 
 ketry, which had been unintermitted, suddenly ceased and 
 the next instant a lot of thirty-two pound shot were tossed 
 at us, informing us that John Bull had slewed round his 
 starboard spar-deck battery. This, however, did not annoy 
 me at all for carronades are clumsy things, and their shot 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 31 
 
 never hit "once in a place," and moreover, are thrown with 
 so little force, that a fellow with stout ribs may laugh at 
 them. Finding that this did not trouble us, they changed 
 to grape and cannister but we, still protected by our trees, 
 kept up our fire, not being so easily scared. 
 
 When the failure of this experiment became apparent, 
 the increased bustle on the Englishman's decks showed that 
 now he was going about flogging us according to science 
 and a few minutes after, his stern-chasers, which till now 
 had been steadily sweeping the channel, suddenly ceased 
 firing. Thinking that something new was coming, I gave 
 orders to change ground ; and the word being silently pass- 
 ed from one to another, we moved a couple of hundred 
 yards to the eastward- and it was well we did so, for the 
 next instant, fire-balls were thrown by the dozens into our 
 former ground, followed by a shower of round, grape and 
 cannister, from the long thirty- two pound stern-chasers, 
 which kicked up a row among the trees in fine style. An 
 instant after, a few dozen of Congreve rockets were thrown 
 into the bushes in every direction, and some of them chanc- 
 ing to alight in our vicinity, dispelled my doubts as to the 
 propriety of a retreat ; so, instantly tacking ship, we were 
 off at ten knots an hour. 
 
 " Well, Mr. Garnet," said Seymour, when I had reported 
 progress on board, " it is very plain that this Englishman 
 won't budge tack nor sheet for all we can do : so, since he 
 won't go away, we must. I shall go to sea to-day in spite 
 of everything therefore make your will, and holy-stone 
 your conscience for though I shall certainly succeed, who 
 will live to tell of it, is another question. We must get the 
 rest of our cargo elsewhere, for we are not more than two- 
 thirds full." 
 
 I admired Seymour's resolution ; but although he had 
 heretofore been astonishingly successful, I did not think 
 
32 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 that this plan was among the possibilities, and began to 
 cudgel invention for a yarn to spin in case of a capture. 
 Now, for the first time, I began to have some compunctious 
 visitings as to the lawfulness of my present employment, and 
 I began to debate with myself how far my forcible entry 
 into the trade would excuse my remaining in it and finally 
 came to the conclusion, as most men would, to stand by and 
 see what would turn up. 
 
 When the day dawned, the English ceased firing, and 
 were evidently waiting for some of their small craft to arrive, 
 so that they could come up and attack us on terms of equal- 
 ity knowing full well that to attempt to carry us in boats 
 would be madness. All the morning, business went on as 
 usual, and, except receiving slaves on board, we made no 
 apparent preparation for sea, lest the English should learn 
 it from the natives, who we well knew always served the 
 strongest party. But in reality, every preparation was made, 
 and by four bells in the forenoon watch we were completely 
 ready for sea. 
 
 At seven bells, (half-past eleven,) Seymour, who had been 
 ashore, deliberately returned aboard. 
 
 "Mr. Carline," said he to the second lieutenant, "jump 
 into that canoe alongside, with a couple of men, and pull to 
 the turn in the river. Wave your handkerchief when the 
 English liner pipes to dinner, and then pull for us. Mr. 
 Garnet, hoist in all the boats, and stow the quarter-boats 
 amid-ships in the launch, instead of running them up the 
 davits." 
 
 "Now, sir," said Seymour, "pipe down hammocks." 
 
 " Down hammocks, indeed," thought I, as I repeated the 
 order ; " pretty well done for seven bells, A. M. Captain 
 Seymour," said I, "it strikes me you are getting sleepy." 
 
 " You will find I am wide awake, I guess," replied Sey- 
 mour. " Now then, John Garnet, uushackle the cable abaft 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 33 
 
 the bitts, and stand by to slip it. Loose all sail, and hoist 
 away everything. Brace up sharp on the larboard tack. 
 Man sheets and tacks, and stand by to sheet home. Clear 
 away both batteries, and run them in," the guns were 
 double shotted with grape and cannister " and now, Mr. 
 Garnet, we are ready to run ly them." 
 
 11 The-e-e devil!" said I, as I walked away, thunderstruck 
 at the madness of his plan ; "hark you, Captain Seymour, 
 if that's your scheme, we are candidates for immortality as 
 true as I am a sinner." 
 
 " Mr. Garnet," said Seymour, angrily, " I beg you will 
 remember that I command this vessel." 
 
 " Ay," said I, " and you will please to remember that I am 
 a pressed man. But this is no time for quarrelling, so we'll 
 be friends for the present. By and by, I promise myself 
 the gratification of shooting you at ten paces." 
 
 " Do," he replied, coolly. 
 
 The wind was now blowing fresh from the northeast the 
 tide was running down at four knots and we rode head to 
 the wind by the larboard-bower, with a kedge astern. 
 Seymour stood upon the poop, watch in hand. 
 
 " It keeps English time," said he, "for I set it by their 
 bell this morning. It now wants one minute of twelve. 
 Mr. Garnet, slip the chain-cable we'll ride by the kedge." 
 
 It was slipped accordingly, and the brig swinging around, 
 was brought up by the kedge, though it seemed as if the 
 hawser would part with the strain. A carpenter's mate 
 stood by, axe in hand, ready to cut, and Seymour watched 
 Carline for the signal. An instant after, he waved his 
 handkerchief, and struck out for us. 
 
 " Sheet home ! cut away !" shouted Seymour. 
 
 It was done in an instant we were, under way and 
 Carline and his men jumped aboard, leaving the canoe 
 adrift. 
 
 2* 
 
34 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 "Now," said Seymour, "go below, every man of you, 
 except those at the wheel, and stay there till you are called. 
 I will shoot the first man that puts his head above the 
 combings of the hatches. Mr. Garnet, you had better go 
 below, too you can do nothing on deck." 
 
 " I am greatly obliged to you, sir," said I, " but I'll stay 
 on deck and see the fun." 
 
 We shortly doubled the point, and with wind and tide, 
 shot rapidly down the stream. We were not observed, and 
 approached nearer and nearer to the liner, undiscovered, 
 until our flying jib-boom was nearly over her taffrail. 
 
 " Port I" whispered Seymour. 
 
 The helm was shifted accordingly, and we passed the 
 starboard side of the seventy-four so closely, that her main- 
 deck battery swept our larboard-hammock-netting off clear, 
 while our starboard bulwarks almost touched the bank of 
 the river. Knocking the ashes from the cigar which was 
 accidentally in my mouth, I, fired the aftermost gun of the 
 larboard battery plump into the liner, just as her crew, 
 aroused by the collision, dropped their cans it being grog- 
 time manned their starboard battery, and let drive. 
 They were a little behind time, however, for we had that 
 instant shot past them, and all their guns threw their iron 
 harmlessly astern of us, while we, doubling the point, were 
 soon out of their reach. 
 
 "All hands make sail 1" shouted Seymour; "round in 
 the larboard-braces. Stand by the starboard studdin'- 
 sails." 
 
 With such government, we were under all sail in less than 
 no time, and with studdin'-sails, and sky-sails, the wind on 
 the starboard-quarter, we dashed down the bay. 
 
 " Pretty well done, Captain Seymour," said I ; " but you 
 are not safe yet. Do you hear that ?" 
 
 The English frigates, awakened by the liner's broadside, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 35 
 
 were beating to quarters, and as they lay across the chan- 
 nel, on each side of the mouth of the bay, I thought our 
 final escape was yet a question. Not so, Seymour for, 
 rubbing his hands in irrepressible glee, he walked about the 
 poop, giving his orders, almost beside himself with joy. 
 
 "Hillo, signal-quartermaster !" said he we won't mince 
 matters ! send up our black ensign at the main. We'll 
 give Johnny Bull a target for his shot." 
 
 The words were scarcely out of his mouth, when a storm 
 of iron rushed past us, and looking astern, we saw that the 
 liner, having slipped her cables and fired a broadside, was 
 coming after us, making all sail. 
 
 " Yery good oysters," said Seymour, with a grimace that 
 a baboon might have envied : " Mr. Garnet, poke at him 
 with our stern-chasers, and make him a 'candidate for 
 immortality/ while I try my hand at guessing with these 
 fellows ahead." 
 
 We acccordingly blazed away with our stern-chasers, to 
 injure him if possible, and to cover ourselves with smoke. 
 We soon reached the mouth of the bay, and just before we 
 passed the points which would bring us within range of the 
 frigates, Seymour sang out : 
 
 " Man both batteries ! Straight as you go, quarter- 
 master." 
 
 We passed the capes, steering right on for the reef, 
 which, as I have already mentioned, ran across the mouth 
 of the bay and as soon as our guns came to bear, we gave 
 each frigate a broadside, and our aim being true, and the 
 guns double-shotted, they made a crashing. They reserved 
 their fire, thinking that we should be obliged to pass near 
 one or the other, and they would then give it to us solidly. 
 
 We continued our fire ; and Seymour, standing upon 
 the pjoop, began to cun the brig himself; and although 
 the smoke was so dense that we could not see a fathom, 
 
36 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 gave his orders as promptly as if it were clear day and plain 
 channel. 
 
 " Blaze away, my lads," said he, "we'll do Johnny Bull, 
 all we can." 
 
 An instant after he song out : 
 " Knock off firing ! Hold on, everybody !" 
 The order was obeyed, and the next moment we struck 
 heavily on the reef. 
 
 " Yery good," said Seymour ; " once more, you beauty." 
 We struck again, and then slipped over the reef into 
 deep water. 
 
 "All hands cheer ship !" he shouted. We sent up the 
 English ensign at the fore, gave it three cheers, and went 
 on our course under all sail. The English could not follow 
 us over the reef, as they drew too much water ; but they 
 slipped their cables, fired their broadsides at us in spite, 
 and then stood through the channel ; but before they were 
 clear of it, we were hull-down in the southwest. 
 
 Take it as a whole, our escape was really a masterpiece 
 of daring and nautical skill. It required the mind of a man 
 to conceive the plan of running past a line-of-battle-ship in 
 broad daylight and in such a channel, and indomitable reso- 
 lution to put that plan into effect ; for had we been discov- 
 ered tiro minutes sooner, one broadside would have totally 
 annihilated us. The attempt was made when the English 
 piped to dinner and grog, because they would naturally 
 be remiss in their look-ont at this time thinking more of 
 the grog-tub than of us. Hammocks were piped down, 
 because Seymour knew that the liner's main deckers would 
 just sweep the netting. Yards were braced sharp, because, 
 if square, they would lock in the Englishman's rigging. 
 Boats were stowed amidships, because there was no room 
 for them on the quarter. Guns were run in for the -same 
 reason j and, after crossing the bay, he steered over the 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 37 
 
 reef, knowing that there was one place where we should 
 tonch-and-go without injury. Such seamanship deserved 
 success whatever were the cause and obtained it ; for at 
 sunset we were clear of land, and the English fleet was out 
 of sight astern. 
 
 "Mr. Garnet/ 7 said Seymour, as soon as it was dark, 
 " we'll haul our wind, and stand southeast for the land, 
 because I have no idea of going to Brazil half-loaded." 
 
 We altered our course accordingly, and stood for the- 
 shore. The former part of the night was quite dark, but 
 about four bells in the mid-watch it cleared up a little. I 
 was accidentally on deck at the time, and, sweeping the 
 horizon with my night-glass, I discovered a strange sail on 
 the starboard bow, distant about three miles. Reporting 
 it to Seymour, I received orders to give chase, and putting 
 up the helm, and crowding all sail, we were after her as fast 
 as a six-knot breeze would carry us. The stranger, perceiv- 
 ing us, made all sail to escape, but it was in vain for at 
 daylight, we were within half a mile. She was evidently a 
 Guineaman, being a long, low, suspicious-looking schooner, 
 and we ranged up within pistol-shot without firing a gun, 
 so that we could not break any of her crockery, and ordered 
 her captain to come on board. He came accordingly, and 
 Seymour, receiving him on the quarter-deck, being moved 
 by virtuous indignation no doubt, began to read him a furi- 
 ous lecture on the enormities of the slave-trade. 
 
 " Why," said he in astonishment, pointing to the woolly 
 pates lying about our decks, " you are a slaver, too." 
 
 But Seymour only lectured the harder, and wound up as 
 regular-built a preachment as any chaplain ever spun, by 
 ordering him, at his peril, to send all his slaves on board of 
 us instantly. He did not dare to disobey ; and, when the 
 transfer was completed, Seymour quietly said to him : 
 
 " Now, sir, you may go back to Africa, and get as many 
 
38 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 more as you like, for these just complete my cargo. There, 
 Mr. Garnet," he continued, as we filled and stood away to 
 the westward, " that's what we slavers call borrowing." 
 
 Having nothing now to detain us, we cracked away mer- 
 rily for the southward and westward, and about noon of the 
 eighteenth day after leaving the coast of Guinea, the look- 
 out aloft reported a sail on the starboard bow. The wind 
 being the south-east trade, and blowing fresh, we instantly 
 up-helm, made all sail, and gave chase, and by four bells in 
 the afternoon watch, we could see with our glasses that she 
 was a large ship on the larboard tack, heading west, and 
 sailing lazily along under topsails and coursers. One thing 
 was very plain : the stranger was in no kind of haste, and 
 being led by this fact to examine her more closely, I became 
 convinced she was a man-of-war, and accordingly remarked 
 to Seymour, that perhaps she would be a Scotch prize. 
 
 But he replied, that having the weather-gage, we could 
 sail as near as we liked with perfect safefy, and therefore 
 cracked away. As we sailed very fast, we were within four 
 or fiv^-miles of 'her at seven bells in the afternoon watch, 
 and then saw plainly that she was a frigate. She showed 
 English colors, and fired a gun to attract our observation ; 
 but we took no notice of either. 
 
 " Mr. Garnet," said Seymour, " I believe that is one of 
 the English frigates we choused so neatly a fortnight since, 
 and we'll run down to them, so that we may know them, 
 and they us." 
 
 We accordingly approached within two miles of her, 
 keeping well to windward, and then fired our long forty-two 
 at her, and sent up our black flag at the main. That 
 rather provoked Mr. Bull, the shot happening to hit him ; 
 and he let drive at us the whole of his larboard battery, 
 hauled close on the wind on the larboard tack, and, as 
 quick as thought was under all sail. His shot did us no 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 39 
 
 essential harm, and giving him our starboard battery in 
 return, we changed our course from west to southwest, 
 crowded everything and ran across his fore-foot unhurt. 
 He instantly up-helm and gave chase, and the breeze 
 being a stiff one, we were both off at a fine rate. For two 
 hours he lost considerably, but about sunset it began to 
 breeze up and threaten a gale. 
 
 " Now, Captain Seymour," said I, " you understand we 
 shall catch a gale of wind shortly, and the English being 
 the heaviest, will catch us." 
 
 11 Don't chuckle too soon, Lieutenat Garnet," he replied, 
 " we'll escape this fellow easy enough." 
 
 " That remains to be seen," was my brief rejoinder, as I 
 squinted to windward. 
 
 The wind now increased rapidly so much so, indeed, 
 that at eight bells in the second dog-watch, we were obliged 
 to take in all our studdin'-sails but the Englishman kept 
 his fast, and, although eight or nine miles astern, evidently 
 gained on us. Seymour, however, was not at all disturbed, 
 but gave orders and cracked jokes as cheerfully as ever. 
 With the gale, clouds came on, and it grew quite dark ; 
 not so much so, however, as to prevent our seeing each 
 other, while we cracked on, shortening sail only when abso- 
 lutely necessary, as the English gained upon us slowly, but 
 surely. 
 
 About midnight, Seymour, who had been coolly walking 
 about the poop, suddenly stopped, and after thinking a 
 moment, ordered a reefer to call the master. 
 
 " Mr. Quadrant," said Seymour, as soon as he came upon 
 deck, "work up your reckoning, and tell me where we are 
 now, and bear a hand about it." 
 
 Quadrant dived, and in an instant returning, said : 
 
 "By dead reckoning, sir, we are now in latitude 208 
 25 N. f longitude 289 12 W., standing west-by-south." 
 
40 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Bring me the chart," said Seymour. It was brought, 
 and after studying it a moment, he threw it by, and said to 
 me : 
 
 " Mr. Garnet, we are not far from Martin Yas and Trini- 
 dad. Take your post, sir, on the to'-gallant forecastle, and 
 keep a bright look-out ahead. If you see anything or think 
 you see anything, sing out to the wheel, and men whom I 
 shall station along the gangway will pass the word." 
 
 I took my place, accordingly, and "gazed into dim futu- 
 rity." Martin Yas and Trinidad are two small islands in 
 the South Atlantic, not far from the coast of Brazil, which 
 rise precipitously from the sea to the height of three or 
 four hundred feet, nearly or totally inaccessible. They are 
 both quite small the larger not exceeding five hundred 
 yards across and this fact, added to their abrupt sides, 
 has entirely preserved them from the polluting tread of man. 
 Here, in the solemn solitudes of the ocean, they silently sit, 
 uninhabited and alone. Ages upon ages have rolled over 
 them, and they are still the same as on that day when the 
 morning stars sang together, and the sons of God shouted 
 for joy in view of the fair handiwork of the Almighty. 
 The ocean, lashed into fury by ten thousand tempests, has 
 dashed against their rocky bulwarks in impotent wrath 
 for they stand " steadfast and sure :" far removed from the 
 noise and turmoil of man, clothed in quietness, they slum- 
 ber on, lulled by the murmurs of the deep. Confident in 
 their rocky foundations, they laugh at the roar of the 
 storms. Though the waters of the troubled sea chafe their 
 sides, their summits are visited only by the pure radiance ot 
 the luminaries of heaven. 
 
 The water does not shoal as you approach them, and 
 being composed of dark rock, there is nothing about them 
 to warn the careless mariner of his danger. Hence our 
 unusual caution. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 41 
 
 " How far astern are the English now ?" I inquired, 
 about four bells in the mid-watch. The man passed aft, 
 and returning, said " About a mile, sir." 
 
 As the wind now blew a gale, this was as I expected 
 and shrugging my shoulders at the prospect astern, I turned 
 my attention to the prospects ahead. It had become quite 
 dark; I could scarcely see at all, and was about to relin- 
 quish my look-out as useless, when I saw ahead the dim 
 outline of an object resembling a large ship before the wind. 
 
 " Mr, Jones,' 7 said I to a reefer near me, " go aft, sir, 
 and report to Captain Seymour a sail right ahead, and be 
 quiet about it." 
 
 Seymour came forward, and after looking a moment, said : 
 
 " Mr. Garnet, that is not a sail ; it is the bluff which 
 rises from the sea half-way between Martin Yas and Trini- 
 dad. It is nearly two hundred feet in height, entirely 
 precipitous on every side, not more than a hundred feet in 
 diameter at the base, and slightly conical. That is what 
 you suppose to be a ship, and in the dark it might readily 
 be mistaken for one ; and, if we manoeuvre rightly, it will 
 insure our escape, and put a stop to our pursuers." 
 
 He then proceeded to give me my orders, and returned to 
 his station upon the poop. 
 
 " Starboard a little !" was my first hail to the wheel. It 
 was obeyed, and produced just enough alteration in our 
 course to bring the bluff one point on our starboard-bow, 
 which, wishing to screen it from the view of the English, 
 was just what was wanted. When very near the island 
 distant, say, two hundred yards, just as I had repeated my 
 order to the wheel the English frigate, being only a quar- 
 ter of a mile astern, fell off a point or two from the wind, 
 and a thirty-two pound shot, from her bow-chaser, carried 
 away our main-topmast. This accident, apparently so dis- 
 astrous, was our salvation. 
 
42 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Starboard a little," I repeated. 
 
 We were now about a ship's length from the island, and 
 the English not more than three or four astern. At this 
 instant they fired at us again. The shot raked us fore and 
 aft, but it was their destruction. Their vision was obscured 
 by its smoke, which caused them to mistake the island for 
 us, and a loud voice from the Englishman's forecastle, which 
 we knew to be that of her first-lieutenant, hailed : 
 
 " Port the helm ! We'll run her down !" 
 
 We slipped past the pillar-island so closely, that our star- 
 board main-yard-arm grazed its precipitous side, and the 
 next instant the Englishman's flying-jib-boom, jib-boom and 
 bowsprit successively struck against the immovable rock, 
 and were driven in upon the hull by the violence of the col- 
 lision. A moment more, and the hull itself dashed against 
 the fatal barrier, crushing her bulwarks and making a fear- 
 ful breach for the entering Vaves. A frigate, however, is 
 too substantial a craft to be destroyed by, perhaps, any 
 one blow that she can receive ; and, in this instance, the 
 strength of her bows sufficed to resist instantaneous de- 
 struction. She recoiled, accordingly, a few fathoms, and 
 her first-lieutenant, in terror, shouted : 
 
 " Starboard- the-helm ! hard-a-starboard !" 
 
 It was too late ! Recovering from the recoil of the first 
 shock, the frigate struck again so violently, that her bow 
 was totally demolished. Meanwhile we had hove to, and 
 now could hear the water rush into our antagonist with a 
 roar, which plainly showed that her last hour was come. 
 She rolled heavily to windward once, and then went down ; 
 and her crew heard, amid the roar of the tempest, the 
 cheers which Seymour, with his usual cold-blooded ferocity, 
 ordered our crew to give them, sounding in their ears like 
 the laugh of the fiends of hell I 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 43 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 THE gale had now abated, and we, having repaired dam- 
 ages, and rigged new spars aloft, crowded all sail for the 
 westward and southward, and at noon of the fourth day, with 
 Spanish colors at the peak, we entered the harbor of Rio 
 Janeiro. 
 
 As we neared the anchorage of men-of-war, I observed 
 among them the United States frigate Constellation, (the 
 one with which we had a brush in leaving New- York,) and 
 perceiving, as we approached, that her quarter-deck was 
 crowded with officers, Seymour altered our course so as to 
 pass across her stern as we were now in a neutral port, and 
 had nothing to fear from her. Commodore Montague was 
 standing upon the signal-locker, and as we passed under 
 her stern, Seymour, pointing to the slaves who were lying 
 about our decks, hailed him with : 
 
 " Friend Montague, I'll pick out a dozen of the prettiest, 
 and send them aboard of you, shortly, for your own pecu- 
 liar." 
 
 It was beneath the dignity of a Captain of the United 
 States Navy to bandy defiances, or deal in blackguardism, 
 with a slaver and, accordingly, Montague pretended not 
 to hear what Seymour said but the blood mounting in his 
 face, showed plainly that the taunt was heard, and felt. To 
 carry out his system of bravado, Seymour ordered to let go 
 the anchor, about three hundred yards from the Constella- 
 tion, and veering away cable, we lay precisely parallel to 
 her, broadside to broadside. The weather now being aw- 
 fully hot, we were of course desirous to land our slaves as 
 quickly as possible, and having made the necessary arrange- 
 ments with the authorities of the port, we commenced dis- 
 charging cargo at four P.M., and used such dispatch, that 
 
44 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 before seven that evening, not one remained on board. This 
 operation being completed, Seymour turned his attention to 
 his small warfare with the Constellation, and mustering our 
 band a strong one by the way upon the poop, he saluted 
 Montague's ears with " Hail Columbia" and " Yankee Doo- 
 dle" an d when eight-bells came, it was "made" in true 
 man-o'-war style two eighteen-pounders, and a full band, 
 announcing to all in port in general, and the Constellation 
 in particular, that our watch was set. 
 
 The next morning, about ten o'clock, having performed 
 my usual duties, I went down into the ward-room, and 
 shortly reappeared on deck in the same dress I wore the 
 day we left New York. 
 
 "What now, Mr. Garnet?" said Seymour, in surprise, 
 as I walked aft upon the poop. 
 
 " I come, sir, to request a boat," I replied. 
 
 "As first lieutenant of this vessel, sir," answered Sey- 
 mour, still more surprised, " you need not ask that as a 
 favor. It is your right." 
 
 " I hold rank here no longer, sir," said I ; "I was kid- 
 napped by you, and have participated in your infamous 
 atrocities thus long, only because I have had no opportunity 
 to leave you. While you were in danger and difficulty, I 
 scorned to quit you : it would have seemed like fear, to 
 which I am a stranger. But now, assuring you that a viler 
 scoundrel than yourself never crossed my hawse, I inform 
 you that I am about to surrender myself to Commodore 
 Montague aboard the Constellation." 
 
 " My respects and a pleasant voyage to you, sir," said 
 Seymour for he saw it was useless to remonstrate, and his 
 pride was mortally piqued at my unexpected personal denun- 
 ciation " boatswain's-mate, call away the first-cutter. I 
 hope, sir, you will do me the favor to take your pay, due 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 45 
 
 for services rendered. Sam, (to his steward,) bring me a 
 bag of guineas." 
 
 Not being disposed to prolong the interview, or accept 
 his offer, I walked to the starboard gangway without reply, 
 and entering the first-cutter, pulled for the Constellation. 
 The moment I reached her deck, I ordered the boat to 
 shove off and return to the brig, and then walked aft to 
 meet the commodore. 
 
 I proceeded at once to detail my adventures, so far as was 
 necessary to explain my appearance in his vessel, and con- 
 cluded by surrendering myself a prisoner. He heard me 
 through, patiently and courteously, and then, pursuing his 
 own investigation, inquired the particulars of Seymour's 
 conduct and cruise. When I had finished a brief sketch of 
 the same, he abruptly asked if all her slaves were then 
 ashore, and all hands, and Seymour, aboard. I told him 
 they were. 
 
 "Mr. Roberts," said he, to his fourth lieutenant, "take 
 ten men, and board the ship which has just anchored be- 
 tween us and the slaver : she has a long range of cable out : 
 present my respects to her commander, and request him to 
 heave-short ; assist him with your men, and remain on board 
 of her till recalled. Mr. Thompson, (first lieutenant,) clear 
 away and man the starboard-battery load with round, 
 grape and cannister, and order the gunner to open the 
 magazine, and stand by to pass up powder." 
 
 By the time these orders were obeyed, the merchantman 
 had hove-short, and the brig lay exposed to view. 
 
 " Take good aim, my lads," said Montague, "at the slaver. 
 All ready. Fire !" 
 
 At the word, the whole of the Constellation's starboard 
 broadside was poured into the brig, tearing open her bul- 
 warks, and dismounting her guns. For five minutes, the 
 
46 SWELL LIFE AT SEA, ETC. 
 
 frigate continued a most terrible battery, and Montague 
 then perceiving that the brig was a total wreck, ceased 
 firing, and ordered the boats to be manned to board her. 
 As the men were jumping into the boats, I observed that 
 the brig was evidently beginning to sink, and was commu- 
 nicating that fact to an officer near me, when an explosion, 
 louder than thunder, rent the heavens, and the slaver, blown 
 into ten thousand fragments, flew into the air. For an in- 
 stant, there was a dead silence, which was followed by the 
 falling of the shattered masts, spars and planks of the brig, 
 mingled with the dead bodies of her men. And thus, as it 
 ought, ends the " CRUISE OF A GUINEAMAN." 
 
FITZ-GUBIN; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE ADMIRAL'S PET. 
 
 BY THE AUTHOR OP "SINGLETON FONTENOY," ETC. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 WHEN Mogglestonleugh got the Thunderbolt, (for col- 
 lecting evidence on the continent about Lady , 
 
 which proved highly serviceable in the divorce case,) his first 
 youngster was Lord Alfred Fitz-Gubin. The Thunderbolt 
 was flag-ship on the South American station. They ex- 
 cused Fitz-G. from the mizen-top because he was young, 
 and from night watch because he was delicate, and from 
 boat duty because there were other youngsters to attend to 
 the jolly boat without troubling him. The assistant surgeon 
 reported him ill at Lisbon, and the surgeon recommended 
 a week at Cintra for him. The minister had a party to 
 meet him. The chaplain gave him a Bible, the " gift of his 
 well-wisher, the Rev. T. Jenks," as the fly-leaf proclaimed. 
 Fellows in the mess wrote home to " Dear papa," " We 
 have a pleasant set of messmates here ; young Lord Alfred 
 Fitz-Gubin is one of my most intimate friends among them." 
 Smoggbuckle overdid his share of it, for he lent him fifty 
 pounds, which was soon after returned by his mother 
 (through the captain) in a letter, in which Smoggbuckle 
 
48 SWELL-LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 was called a "designing person." When he shot a bull 
 belonging to the beef contractor, the captain blew up the 
 beef contractor, and paid for the bull. Lord Alfred walked 
 upon velvet through the service. 
 
 The Thunderbolt being paid off, the Admiralty delibe- 
 rated as to what was the best ship and sent him to China, 
 because they foresaw active service there, and wished to 
 give him a chance of distinguishing himself. He showed 
 such gallantry (against a junk with a wooden gun in it) 
 that Captain Tournspit felt it his duty (indeed, could not 
 have rested in his bed quietly had he neglected it) to men- 
 tion him with praise in a despatch. The Chinese War 
 becoming a mere bore, in due time Lord Alfred came home, 
 (by the overland route,) and soon after "passed" for lieu- 
 tenant, and went out to the Mediterranean. This was con-' 
 venient, for some relations of the family were going to yacht 
 there. The yacht Giselle was in preparation for an august 
 party at the time Fitz-Grubin sailed in the Cocytus to Malta. 
 They arrived there at a period which naval men will remem- 
 ber as that when Roribel became flag-lieutenant. A sketchy 
 paragraph on RoribePs reception of the news of the vacancy 
 may not be amiss. " It requires," said he, "a particular 
 class of man to be flag-lieutenant. He should be gentle- 
 manly, (here he looked at his boots;) handsome, (here he 
 pullecl up his shirt-collar;) of good abilities, (here he smiled 
 with self-complacency;) and generally popular !" (here he 
 bowed and rubbed his hands, as much as to say, " Now you 
 have him 1") Roribel was made flag-lieutenant, vice Maun- 
 derson, who' had taken advantage of the position to make 
 up to a great wine-merchant's daughter, (whom the wags 
 of the squadron had christened the Countess of Bucellas,) 
 and had retired from the service iato matrimony, accord- 
 ingly. 
 
 The Cocytus broke down off Pantellaria : why, nobody 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING, 49 
 
 seems ever to have found out. As there was scarcely any 
 wind, she was in an awkward plight. She signalled to 
 the old Bloater, Mrs. Pappleton commanding, (such was 
 Adair's joke, though the newspapers never so described the 
 corvette, to my knowledge.) The Bloater was jogging 
 along as usual, returning to Malta from a cruise, and For. 
 bessy was in charge of the morning watch. He at once 
 proceeded to the cabin to report the event to Pappleton, 
 who left the society of youth and beauty (this was the 
 phrase of the gallant and polished Mules, the clerk ; I must 
 tell you he meant Mrs. P., which you would never have 
 guessed) at the stern call of duty in fact, came on deck 
 to see what was the matter. A boat, of course, had to be 
 sent to the Cocytus, and Forbessy went in her to the 
 steamer. 
 
 A ladder was lowered as he came alongside. He found 
 Captain Hostibus storming and raging about the deck, and 
 all the engineers under arrest ; out of which, however, they 
 were constantly called, every now and then, to see if no- 
 thing could be done. Forbessy was walking about the 
 deck, waiting the return of Hostibus from another visit to 
 the engine-room, when he heard a low, languid voice a 
 voice of blended effeminacy and indifference, saying " Pro- 
 voking ! and before breakfast, too ! very irritating to onr 
 friend Hostibus, all this must be. Confounded engineering 
 fellows 1" 
 
 Forbessy turned, and saw the speaker before him a long 
 youth, with light hair, and big, watery blue eyes, whose 
 dress bespoke him naval, though it was by no means punc- 
 tiliously fashioned after the regulations. He looked at 
 Forbessy, and said, lazily, "You are from the corvette, I 
 suppose ?" 
 
 " I am." 
 
 ?' By Jove ! I hardly see my way. I suppose Hostibus 
 
 
 
50 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OK, 
 
 must do something, or you do something for Hostibus. Bui 
 I was thinking let me see yours is a rather large boat ? 
 ... I have it." 
 
 Here Hostibus re-appeared, and came aft. "Nothing 
 for it the corvette must send her pinnace on to Malta, 
 and ask for a steamer for us 1 She must take on the 
 mails, too." 
 
 The youth spoke again. " But, Capt. Hostibus, couldn't 
 she (the captain paused for the suggestion or advice) .... 
 
 couldn't she ... so very slow, this couldn't she take 
 
 me in 1" 
 
 "Lord Alfred Fitz-Gubin," said Hostibus, "the service 
 must be attended to !" Hostibus turned on his heel. 
 
 This was the first glimpse Forbessy ever got of Lord 
 Fitz-Gubin. It was characteristic. It would not be too 
 much to say, that it exhibited his naval views altogether. 
 He had been so dandled and pampered during his career, 
 that he expected obstacles to fly before him like strag- 
 glers out of the path of a Roman Consul. They say that 
 when the " Lotos" was lost by the genius of Mooner, Lord 
 Alfred thought his chest the paramount object to be saved. 
 
 We will not trouble ourselves further with the Cocytus, 
 except to say that, by dint of a fair wind, she reached 
 Malta in safety. Next morning after her arrival, a gun- 
 case made its appearance on board the flag-ship, followed 
 by a couple of pointers. Sensation in the Sovereign ! These 
 were succeeded by a chest of more than ordinary dimen- 
 sions. Increased curiosity 1 A fishing rod and beautiful 
 dressing-case next arrived. ("This is a gentleman!" ex- 
 claimed Cuckles, with decision.) But what was the feeling 
 when an object came which was almost immediately recog^ 
 nised as a tent ? ("A person of consideration," exclaimed 
 Cuckles.) Lord Fitz-Gubin himself reported his "joining" 
 tp Commander Mutter, in the course of the day. The com- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 51 
 
 mander, one of the serious school, (who are often of the 
 most aristocratic principles looking on " dignities" as parts 
 of the " great scheme," and truckling accordingly,) received 
 him with empressement, and introduced him to Cuckles. 
 Cuckles deliberated as to who were the most eligible men 
 in their mess whom he could form a little " set" out of, for 
 his " noble friend." 
 
 In the Sovereign, as in most large messes of any preten- 
 sions, there is a " red-book" section of men, who, somehow 
 or other, fancy themselves, or make themselves, or are 
 tacitly allowed to be, what our old friend Jenkins would call 
 the creme. It is the same in provincial towns, and in fact 
 in every sphere where a moderate number of people live 
 together. But it is by no means easy to say how the 
 arrangement takes place, or distinctly to point out what 
 the laws are which divide the sets, or form the upper set. 
 As scientific men are not agreed how fairy rings are pro- 
 duced, (though I believe it is certain that toad-stools and 
 such fungi have something to do with it,) so "circles" of 
 society are as difficult to account for; whatever, too, we 
 may allow to the " fungus" influence in their case ! It is 
 not only birth, or only money, or only brains, or only man- 
 ners ; these are all powers in their way, but any one of 
 them will sometimes make a hit, and I have known hits 
 made by people who possessed none of them. Generally, 
 the blending of various advantages in moderate proportions 
 is the staple of success, and the having a pursuit in com- 
 mon, the great bond of union. Cuckles then, who was 
 upper-deck-mate of the Sovereign who had in that posi- 
 tion the Commander's ear, and was, so far, of consequence 
 who further was a senior mate, and a very shrewd, worldly 
 person, was one of the swell clique of the Sovereign ; Tom 
 Riddel, with the largest income in the mess, and a free, 
 daring way about him, was another ; Siddlington again, by 
 
52 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 dint of great respectability and careful manners, and an 
 orthodox way of looking at everything, was a third. These 
 and others gave the tone to the mess, which was a sumptu- 
 ous and stately establishment, beyond the dreams of Ben- 
 bow. About one in the day, a knot of fellows were usually 
 to be found in a main-deck cabin, which one of the lieuten- 
 ants allowed to be made a lounging-place of. The Sove- 
 reign at this time lay habitually in Malta, more like an im- 
 movable castle in the harbor there stately, and utterly 
 calm than a ship. The captain, of course, lived on shore ; 
 you might see him any day, trudging along Strada Treale, 
 as his children were dragged down the street in a pony 
 chaise, by his side. As for the Admiral, he was seldom 
 seen, though perhaps oftener heard of than people wished. 
 
 To the cabin in question, supplied with a comfortable 
 sofa and chairs, and adorned with a picture of a brigand 
 and his daughter, Cuckles led Fitz-Gubin. The knot were 
 there, consuming ices brought on board by an old French- 
 man daily, about whom the legend went that he came to 
 Malta originally as the son of a noble, banished by the 
 Revolution. 
 
 Fitz-G. was duly introduced, and found the conversation 
 busy with the old topics the Admiral, the Captain, the 
 Sovereign, the Court-martial on P , (not held really be- 
 cause he neglected so-and-so, you know, but because he 
 jilted old Froggan's niece.) A new anecdote of Mr. Adair 
 was added to the day's stock by Tawney, who dropped 
 down, after copying an "order," to have a chat. It seems 
 that, after Mr. Adair left the Bloater, for the Preposterous, 
 ("where/ 7 said Tawney, "Ricks swears he'll finish him,") 
 he was crossing the harbor in one of the cutters, when who 
 should pass but Mrs. Pappleton in her husband's gig. Mr. 
 Adair made the crew of his boat toss their oars, as to a 
 Captain an audacious professional jest indeed ! 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 5.3 
 
 "Lord Alfred Fitz-Gubin, our new messmate ; Mr. Rid- 
 del, Mr. Siddlington," said Cackles. 
 
 "Been in the Mediterranean before, Lord Fitz-Gubin?" 
 asked Siddlington. 
 
 "No. Fve come out here to look about me a little now, 
 though. I was in China ; I was in South America." He 
 said this languidly, as usual, and then paused, as if he had 
 ceased to take any interest in the subject. Have you ever 
 seen a sluggish compass? (But of course, if a naval man, 
 you have.) The quartermaster must jerk it with the string 
 to keep its mystic force alive and active. Fitz-Gubin often 
 seemed to resemble it. 
 
 Old Polonai came in with some ices. " Good morning, 
 old Polonai," said Riddel, (one of your sanguineous-looking 
 fellows, close-cropped, red up to the ears, bare-necked, and 
 bursting with animal spirits.) 
 
 " Good morn, Signor Riddel," said the old man, with a 
 meek smile. 
 
 " Glace je fais, 
 On ne me paye, 
 Je suis le Sire de Polonai !" 
 
 said Riddel, jumping up from his sofa to seize his ice. 
 
 " That's rather good," said Lord Alfred, looking at Rid 
 del. 
 
 "Oh, I made that, some mornings ago about Polonai. 
 'Gad, he's descended from the Coucys, for aught I know. 
 . . . ... I say, Polonai, pick up the spoon, like a 
 
 good fellow !" 
 
 The old man stooped, as he was bid, and gave the spoon 
 to Rid'del. (Have you ever wondered, reader, what sort of 
 fellow you would have been, by this time, if you had been 
 turned adrift at eight years of age ?) 
 
 " I'll take an ice," said Fitz-Gubin. The ancient French- 
 man brought his tub to the cabin-door to supply him. 
 
54 SWELL LlFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Polonai, junior, (for our friend had married a Maltese in 
 due time, and was now naturalized as a Maltese, almost 
 though he occasionally disappeared frem the island <; to 
 France," people said) a handsome boy with those in- 
 tensely black eyes which the Maltese have carried it for 
 his father. 
 
 "Well, younker," began Riddel, who had "chaff" ready 
 for all comers "you're the rising hope of the Polonai 
 family, eh ?" " Yes, Signer," said the boy. 
 
 "But, by the toe of St. Peter where did you get that 
 cap worked for you ?" 
 
 "That, Signor," the youngster answered, with some* re- 
 serve, " was my sister's making." 
 
 Old Polonai spoke to his boy in Maltese and he went 
 away. The gentlemen of the cabin looked at each other. 
 
 Polonai looked up, with his meek smile and subdued 
 manner " Anything more to-day?" The world had by 
 long passing him through its hands, and rubbing him to 
 and fro smoothened and flattened him like an out-worn 
 sixpence ; all the stamp and impress was gone. The world 
 treats unlucky fellows like one of those defaced sixpences 
 one sometimes comes across. They pass, to be sure, (for 
 what little they exchange for,) but you can see that they 
 have everywhere had the ill-luck to be suspected bit 
 pinched blackened all along. 
 
 " I think no more, to-day. And, Polonai, I owe you 
 something, and here it is," said Riddel, producing a dollar 
 or two. 
 
 " Thank you, Signor." 
 
 " And, Polonai but no no matter ! Good day, Mon- 
 sieur de Polonai." 
 
 With his meek smile and subdued way, the old French- 
 man shambled off. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 55 
 
 *' I suppose it's a joke about that old fellow being a 
 noble ?" said Fitz-Gubin. 
 
 " 'Gad, I don't know," said Riddel. " I heard so half-a- 
 dozen years ago, when I was here in the Burrampooter." 
 
 " Must be a mere joke," said Cackles, shaking his head. 
 
 " I'm not so sure of that," said Siddlington. " I remem- 
 ber Campbell of the Violet used to say that he had read 
 something about the Polonais, and that he thought it very 
 likely and I know, he said it was a great shame, fellows 
 chaffing the old boy. 7 ' 
 
 " Well," said Riddel, " I really begin to feel an interest 
 in old Polonai !" 
 
 "That's capital, upon my word," broke in Corbieton, a 
 mate. " Ever since the s m told you that his cap was 
 worked by " 
 
 " Did you ever hear such a confounded, suspicious, evilly- 
 disposed animal as that Corbieton ?" said Riddel. 
 
 41 1 really wonder," said Siddlington, " if there's a 4 blood' 
 look about the girl ?" 
 
 Fitz-Gubin pulled out his watch. " Do you know, gen- 
 tlemen I should be greatly obliged, if some of you would 
 come on shore with me, and show me the town : I know 
 nothing of Malta." 
 
 Curiously enough, Riddel had been thinking of going on 
 shore, and so had Corbieton, and so had everybody, I dare 
 say, that singularly fine afternoon ! So they descended to 
 the gun-room, and Fitz-Gubin made the acquaintance of the 
 most brilliant of modern messes. 
 
 I fear that we shall never attain the art of (what I define 
 to be the true ideal of fitting up a naval mess-room) divest- 
 ing the apartment of all appearance of being part of a ship 1 
 We may aim, indeed, at it ; we may smother the lockers in 
 sumptuous cushions ; we may hide the deck with the most 
 
56 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 glittering oil-cloth ; we may erect neat book-shelves, and 
 luxuriate in French varnish j and throw around the stern- 
 posts the magic of violet curtains ; it is in our power to 
 adorn the tiller, and to make the thirty-two pounders ob- 
 jects of interesting beauty ; but this is all ! This all was 
 better achieved in the Sovereign than art has ever achieved 
 it elsewhere. The steward (who indeed was now in his eabk), 
 reading a new novel) justly felt that he occupied a position 
 equal to that of the surgeon of a former age, and was 
 reported to be paying his addresses to the daughter of a 
 native officer of the Maltese Fencibles. When he heard, 
 through his assistant, (who had it from his assistant,) that 
 Lord Fitz-Grubin had joined, he expressed his approval ; 
 intimated to the assistant that the mess wanted some such 
 ornament ; and yawned over the novel again, somewhat rid 
 of the afternoon's ennui ! 
 
 Lord Alfred intimated his approval of the gun-room in 
 very decided terms to the polite Cuckles, who watched its 
 effect upon him. 
 
 " Really you have made all that could be made of the 
 place, upon my word. We might, to be sore, make an im- 
 provement here I" Cuckles was all ears (as usual). " We 
 might, mightn't we, remove the guns l n 
 
 Riddel looked up to see if he \^as joking, but he was 
 imperturbably solemn, and perfectly in earnest. Indeed, 
 such was his usual mental complexion. He went through 
 life, and the service, with the most entire good faith amus- 
 ing himself, indulging himself, eating, drinking, sleeping, 
 and smoking, with a grave continuity of action and self- 
 possession of manner (partly natural, but chiefly the result 
 of his bringing up) which were wonderful to behold. 
 
 " We might remove the tiller, I think," growled an old 
 mate. 
 
 " What does he say ?" whispered his lordship to Cuckles. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 57 
 
 " Oh ! never mind him, my lord old mate, of the name 
 of Manton," whispered Cackles as an interpreter might 
 render to you the sayings of a Cherokee. 
 
 In a little while the party were ready to go on shore. 
 When they went on deck, Cuckles was there seeing the 
 bitts blacked, and the paint washed the work which has 
 to be done in Malta harbor, and which must be carefully 
 done, too. 
 
 As Riddel was at the side, calling a shore-boat, Fitz- 
 Gubin, who by this time had acquired a wonderful knack 
 of knowing the men liable to his influence and whom he 
 generally contrived, in every ship, to win and use chatted 
 very affably with Cuckles. " Mr. Cuckles had been very 
 courteous ; would he might he, Fitz-G., hope he would 
 just see about his hammock and hammock-man, and he 
 supposed a good marine was unengaged but really he was 
 ashamed." Cuckles, civil at every pore to rank the pet 
 of the commander undertook everything, and discharged 
 what he promised, like the faithful fellow he was. In the 
 meantime, Mr. Riddel hailed the mess-boat, which you 
 might have known anywhere by its flag bearing the mess- 
 arms, (a donkey rampant,) and in it the party seated them- 
 selves. There was a scandalous report, by-the-by, about 
 this time, that some youngsters had so destroyed the confi- 
 dence, which is the basis of all commercial credit, that you 
 could not get a casual shore-boat without difficulty. But 
 this was, probably like a rumor about Lieutenant Bulrush 
 (commanding the Roarer, 10) and his cattche a mere idle 
 invention one of that copious crop of rumors which every 
 season at Malta brings forth. We cannot be expected to 
 waste our time upon these ! 
 
 We may now for, by the magic of fiction, we have 
 landed our party in Mula's Cafe skipping past Strada St. 
 Giovanni and its shops (I say skipping past its shops 
 
58 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 and if you will put an evil construction upon our smartness 
 in passing Darba's why you must !) consider Lord Alfred 
 as having begun his naval career in the Mediterranean. For 
 isn't the shore the predominant, the important scene of 
 such career ? Whom do you dress to please in the Mediter- 
 ranean ? somebody on shore. Where did Riddel keep his 
 pony ? Where did Siddlington buy his jewelry ? Where 
 did Montemart display his waltzing ? 
 
 " This is pleasant enough," said Fitz-Gubin, lounging in 
 the cool halls of Mula. He paused. " I like Malta, I 
 think. I think it's as well though, to be here, in a ship." 
 
 11 To be here, in a ship ?" Riddel repeated, somewhat 
 puzzled. 
 
 " Why, you know, you sleep out in the sea-air." 
 
 " So you do," said Riddel, thoughtfully. " Gad, that's 
 a new point in the profession." 
 
 " I like the profession," said Lord Alfred Fitz-Gubin. 
 
 I am not going, at this time, to take our friends into those 
 circles of beauty and fascination, which waited Fitz-Gubin's 
 pleasure. That the Admiral knows of his arrival and will 
 probably produce something drinkable when he asks him to 
 dinner an event to which the gallant officer's nieces, also, 
 look with an interest of their own ; that other houses, with 
 that regard for the peerage, which is a characteristic of the 
 island, intend to show a proper attention to the " descend- 
 ant of an ancient family in Picardy," we may, of course, 
 presume. But this evening, I ask your company to dinner 
 in the Sovereign, and invoke the shade of Benbow to be 
 present at the board ! 
 
 Our party has returned to that stately line-of-battle ship, 
 and twilight is wrapping itself round the white island twi- 
 light of a faint blue, through which the hulls and spars of 
 the vessels in harbor rise dark and solemn. As it deepens, 
 the bells of Yaletta are ringing, vexing the languid air with 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 59 
 
 their silver clang, clang, to the which answer the bells of 
 Burmola, meeting them half-way on the harbor waters, and 
 ringing a half-mournful melancholy note over the marriage 
 of summer and sea. There is a momentary thrill of cool, 
 ness that almost chills, as the breeze comes noiselessly from 
 the outside ocean, and air, and waters, and bell-notes mingle 
 together. Deepening yet, though the bells jingle as if they 
 would fain frighten the darkness away. In the distance, a 
 light glides across the harbor like a corpse-light gliding to 
 show you where a funeral's path shall be. It is a boat, 
 reader, taking Brown of the Ganges to dine with Smith of 
 the Bustard. Let us leave the harbor alone. Have we not 
 three hundred and sixty-four twilights to look at in the 
 year, and are we not going to dinner ? 
 
 The mess-dinner of the Sovereign is laid out. Some 
 twenty-five fellows sit down. The steward (elaborately 
 attired) bows as he sees Fitz-Gubin seat himself with the 
 knot at the head of the table Riddel, Corbieton, Siddling- 
 ton, &c. His satisfied eye welcomes the mild, familiar glass 
 of china, and silver, and the pleasant gleam of the huge 
 decanters of iced wine. The dinner is the object of con- 
 stant admiration, and Cuckles daily jokes on its splendor, 
 as compared with that which he supposes to be the habitual 
 fare of the mess (except, of course, those of our degree) 
 at home. (Pleasant Cuckles thou man of fine heart and 
 fine taste !) 
 
 The steward, with a profound bow, now hands to Lord 
 Fitz-Gubin, the carte. I say distinctly, the carte. Shade 
 of Lord Collingwood (to whose descendants in the female 
 line, a grateful Government would not continue the title*) 
 
 * And this though COLLINGWOOD, besides boasting such services, and 
 such a mind and character as were his, was a man of distinguished family ! 
 If we will plebeianize our peerage, let us, at least, cease to sneer at our 
 plebeians . ED. 
 
60 SWELL-LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 shade of Benbow, wag your ghostly pig-tail, and let us look 
 at the items of the carte. (The cook of the Sovereign was 
 a man of genius, and will probably die a baronet.) : "Cote- 
 lettes d la Trafalgar ; Fricassee de Gibier en pigtail antique ; 
 Vol au vent, au maintop ; Brimbousky marine, fyc., fyc" 
 
 These were the leading features of the entertainment that 
 day, with sufficient substantial, of course ; which, by-the- 
 by, were highly necessary to the youngsters, who could not 
 always, if we are to believe some people, get any of the 
 finer specimens of the cuisine. Bung, the master's assistant, 
 made a democratic agitation on the subject, by bawling to 
 the servants after some of the " ong pigtail hontick," but the 
 roar of laughter (which his pronunciation justly raised) 
 soon caused him to subside into silence and boiled beef. 
 What was worse, he never heard the last of the matter 
 You don't, indeed, often hear the last of a joke in the ser- 
 vice, and many a fellow who has got himself a nickname in 
 his first week, retains it for life, carries it over the whole 
 globe, and through every grade of rank, and dies in it. 
 Accordingly, the youngsters were perpetually at Bung 
 "Bung, any hontick to-day ?" &c., &c. 
 
 " Lord Alfred, a glass of wine," said Cuckles, ordering 
 champagne ; a luxury in which, to do him justice, he did 
 not often indulge. They drank. 
 
 " I like the dinner," said Fitz-Gubin, with his usual delib- 
 eration. " The cook is really not bad. He ranks, of course, 
 as a petty officer ?" 
 
 Here, I think, I may close a chapter, and leave the reader 
 to his meditations ! 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 61 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE mere mention of the cockpit such as it once exist- 
 ed justly excites a fastidious sneer. The reading public 
 has to be disabused of several notions about Her Majesty's 
 navy. The blockheads who believe that a midshipman 
 " shivers his timbers," are, of course, hopeless, and with 
 them I decline to communicate. But a better informed 
 class may still be ignorant, that on board the Sove- 
 reign, Brummell might have attired his person with all the 
 care which it demanded. Again Fitz-Grubin expressed his 
 satisfaction, when he found the comfortable and spacious 
 place for his chest ; where a judicious array of curtains 
 made up a cabin, and where his marine had prepared every- 
 thing for him. Cuckles, whose apparatus was not far off, 
 was busy about the place, keeping the lavatory arrange- 
 ments of the youngsters within proper bounds. Siddlington, 
 again, in a corner, was devoting to his whiskers that intense 
 and absorbing attention which auburn whiskers demand. 
 How different the leisure and space here, to the absurd dif- 
 ficulties of the Bloater, where the wretched Mules wore out 
 his heart in endeavoring to keep up his appearance ! 
 
 The toilette hour in one of your big ships is always a lively 
 one. How properly, in one sense, was the table where the 
 many (for they could not all have curtains and seclusion)- 
 washed, called the amputation talk ! How were reputations 
 lopped, and dissected, and pruned, and trimmed, over those 
 pewter basins 1 What pleasantries about Ricks, about the 
 commander, the notabilities of Malta, and the news of the 
 squadron ! What chuckles when Manton, the old mate, 
 could not find his wig 1 What roars when the DUN pene- 
 trated (which he had no business to do, for why the deuce* 
 did Jack Treloony, who had the morning watch, let him on 
 
62 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 board?) to these haunts ! There was a laugh, indeed, when 
 Saijan, when Nathan, or Darba came groping along among 
 half-lashed-up hammocks. The Dun in your place like Malta, 
 becomes quite naval. He knows when the Intolerable is 
 going to get her orders ; that the Yiper is to be sent home, 
 because she's overmasted ; he hears, as soon as the squad- 
 ron does, that Captain Kansacker has lost all that money 
 at blind-hookey ; and he wonders, as everybody wonders, 
 what the devil Ransacker will do this time. 
 
 That laughter from the youngsters, when the Dun makes 
 his morning call, is to the philosophic ear, a melancholy 
 sound. What a number of us have joined in it at sixteen, 
 and sighed at it at six-and-twenty ! This association of 
 humor with the serious events of life (as the apparition of 
 the Dun eventually becomes) is very strange. We joke in 
 youth about dunning, about matrimony, and about hanging, 
 I believe, more than any other subjects. Yet, infallibly, 
 the time comes when we pay we marry and if we don't 
 hang, (as is to be hoped,) yet we think with seriousness on 
 that catastrophe, and life generally. That morning, the 
 prophetic eye, beholding Livingstone the youngster giving a 
 huge order to Darba, might have seen through the vista of 
 years a vision such as Livingstone would have shrunk from, 
 could he have foreseen it. Horace's Cura sticks not more 
 closely than the fatality of the Dun Post equitem sedet. 
 Here he is behind you on the hack you have hired, and on 
 which you are trotting from Yaletta to Citta Yecchia or 
 by-and-by, along the pleasant shores of Baiae, or the rocky 
 brown hills of Greece, or the heath-lands of Troy, or the 
 rich green fields of Smyrna. He mounts the " trireme," 
 viz., the pinnace of the Bellerophon, which you command ; 
 and the boat at Richmond wherein you pull, years after. 
 When you are starring it, I say, in London, or shooting 
 red-legs in Brittany, there is one fellow who knows your 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 63 
 
 movements as well as any of your family. It is DARBA of 
 Strada Reale ! Awful thought ! He will write in time to 
 your venerable parent, and request him to pay the inclosed 
 bill "out of your son's patrimony" (suggestive Darba !) 
 Something will ultimately have to be done about that man's 
 bill. . . . But in the interim, here is Livingstone, young 
 and downy-cheeked, light-hearted and light-tongued, giving 
 Darba a large order. For a year, Darba will make no men- 
 tion of the matter, and Livingstone will spend his ready 
 money in forgetfulness of the man whom he dimly intends 
 to pay some day when (as it will turn out) neither his 
 cheek nor his heart are as fresh and unworn as they are now. 
 The age requires two treatises the philosophy of dissipation, 
 and the philosophy of Duns ! 
 
 The day began in the Sovereign with the crossing of the 
 topgallant-yards, after which, the hammocks having been 
 tortured into perfect smoothness of outline, a party of two 
 were sent to potter about the dockyards, or elsewhere, and 
 the huge vessel lay still as the waters which reflected her 
 glowing copper, or her gleaming hull. Awnings spread and 
 yards squared, she was as quiet as the island itself in the 
 sea. You might lounge on the poop, and watch the bright 
 green and yellow boats glitter across the harbor, like dragon- 
 flies gaudy as lizards ; or the town almost misty with the 
 intense sunshine, and fancy the days of the Order of St. 
 John back again, and the Podgerses and Rodgerses still in 
 their chilly northern homes. A whole day, nothing would 
 break your reverie, but the shrill pipe of the dinner-hour, 
 when the fruit boats swarmed alongside, and when poor old 
 Polonai the meek, with his boy and the ice-can, came sham- 
 bling over the ship's side, bowing to the officer of the 
 watch modest before the sentry civil to everybody. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin was loitering about the upper deck at noon, 
 and had just thrust into his pocket the Admiral's invitation 
 
64 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 to dinner, (that morning arrived,) as the veteran Polonai 
 came on board. Fitz-Gubin gave a little hasty glance round 
 the deck ; Cackles was away ; his messmates of the watch 
 were far aft on the poop, sitting (there is no good denying 
 it) in perfect idleness on the spanker-boom. Fitz-Gubin 
 came up to the gangway. I have mentioned his solemn, 
 determined manner. I have to add that concealment was a 
 strong feature in the young gentleman's character. He 
 rarely let anybody know what he had in his thoughts ; still 
 less in his intentions. 
 
 " Hee 1 Polonai. Glace." 
 
 The old man was about to descend the main hatchway. 
 He turned back. 
 
 " Monsieur no take it in the cabin ?" 
 
 "Non. No. Here, Polonai V 9 
 
 The veteran complied. It was a sight to see Fitz-Gubin 
 leaning against the bitts, and with perfect deliberation, con- 
 suming the lemon-ice. He put some money in his hand, 
 with the glass, and was turning away. 
 
 " Mais, Monsieur, c'est too much," said old Polonai, eagerly; 
 " you not have so much to pay as this, Monsieur." 
 
 "Fitz-Gubin. Lord Fitz-Gubin Polonai! . . . Never 
 mind, Polonai. Quelque jour, je vous ferai une visite, peut- 
 etre, et done." 
 
 "Milor Fitz-Gubin. Prenez le money, if you please!" 
 And the old fellow, with many bows, and a sligjit color over 
 his withered old face, forced it upon him. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin walked aft in meditation. Riddel and one or 
 two of the men had just come up the companion-ladder. 
 
 "I say, Lord Fitz-Gubin, we've been wondering what's 
 become of old Polonai to-day ?" 
 
 "Have you? Why, / saw him a little ago knocking 
 about," said the youth. 
 
 " Fox, of the Queen, has seen his daughter ; so he said, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 65 
 
 last night, at dinner. He swore she's an angel/' Riddel 
 observed. 
 
 " Ah, well, perhaps she is. How hot the day is 1" said 
 Lord Alfred Fitz-Gubin. 
 
 Whereupon, Lord Alfred (who, bless you, could not be 
 occupying his mind with the family of an itinerant vender 
 of ices) edged away. A moment afterwards, he was in 
 the cabin of the Commander, and asking leave to go on 
 shore, " to dine with the Admiral." 
 
 " I should not be likely to refuse you leave on general 
 grounds," said the Commander, with a Christian smile, be- 
 coming a serious man ; " on the present special one I grant 
 it with pleasure I You will find that household, indeed, a 
 charming one. Beauty, with genius and gentleness these 
 are, I say it on the authority of my personal observation, 
 its characteristics." 
 
 And the Commander smiled, as if addressing the compli- 
 ment to the persons themselves as indeed he would have 
 liked to have done, I dare say ; perhaps he thought some- 
 thing of the sort might reach them from him, through Fitz- 
 Gubin. 
 
 To make matters still more agreeable to our friend, he 
 gave him a seat in the cutter, then on the point of landing a 
 parcel for Mrs. , his wife, under the charge of a mid- 
 shipman ! The cutter was cushioned, gilt, varnished, and 
 adorned with a tiller that would have been an ornament to 
 a drawing-room table, at the cost of said midshipman, Leslie 
 Clare, (lost last year, I observe, poor fellow, jumping after 
 a negro who tumbled overboard, and would have caught 
 cold, if an English gentleman had not risked himself, and so 
 lost his life, in picking him up.) Leslie Clare was the only 
 midshipman who had a successful contest with Cuckles. 
 Cuckles had wished to send him in this cutter, which he 
 commanded, and just after he had had the first touch put 
 
66 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 to it, to bring the beef on board. Clare appealed to the 
 Commander ; the Commander decided that the jolly-boat 
 should go. He was a joyous youth ; his family were rich : 
 all went well with him, till he met the ill-omened nigger, 
 who proved the agent of his fate. 
 
 You are not to suppose that Fitz-Gubin dressed himself 
 in full fig before landing at this time. This would not have 
 been becoming one so essentially a member of the "swell" 
 naval world, with which we have at present to deal. He 
 carried a carpet-bag. He patronized the Mitre Hotel. 
 Riddel had his horse there. Siddlington put up at the 
 Mediterranee. Corbieton preferred the Royal Princess's. 
 
 As the boat landed, Lord Alfred turned to Clare, with 
 whom he had scarcely exchanged a word, (he associated 
 with none out of a clique in any ship,) "Will you allow 
 one of the men to carry my carpet-bag to the Mitre, Mr. 
 Clare ?' 
 
 Clare was so surprised that he involuntarily said, " Yes." 
 Fitz-Gubin bowed, and set off. The seaman followed ; and 
 in due order they reached the house, where the obsequious 
 landlord received his Lordship with all proper deference. 
 Of course, Snacks had seen the appointment, which had 
 been copied into a special paragraph by itself, in the Malta 
 Dip., for the benefit of the aristocratic " sympathizers," (to 
 use a Yankeeism,) who are plentiful in Malta. 
 
 Eitz-Gubin never long required aid in finding his way 
 about a place. Already an introduction or two put the 
 threads in his hand. He knew the art which you may 
 have observed, characterizes the knowing of the English 
 great world, abroad the art of comporting himself in 
 mixed society ; I don't mean, of course, the obvious art of 
 behaving himself in company (which is within the range of 
 an idiot and for ordinary purposes a common-place affair 
 to anybody not decidedly cursed with the air bourgeois) 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 67 
 
 but a higher art than that. I mean an art like that of the 
 fellows who dive in the wreck of the Royal George, and 
 who retain their self-composure, eye-sight, and individuality, 
 among strange fish, monstrous timber, and mud. In a word, 
 the art of mingling in society conventionally inferior to your 
 own, (yet the only society of the place you are in,) without 
 committing yourself to it in the slightest degree ! Did the 
 fashionable Poodle scouring the Mediterranean in 184 use 
 up the services, the dinners, horses, evening parties (every- 
 thing that could keep his great soul from perishing in its 
 own exhausted receiver of emptiness) pic-nics, of every 
 society from the pillars of Hercules to the Golden Horn ? 
 Yes. Did he form a tie of decent grateful friendship with 
 one man or family ? When Branton, junior, (of the Maltese 
 firm,) was in town some time ago, (awakening Government 
 to the importance of the Gozo traffic in Peas-pods,) did 
 Poodle show him any attention ? No ! Yet, wherever 
 you had met Poodle in the Mediterranean, you would have 
 thought him domesticated in its circles. That was Poodle's 
 art the merit of which is not to be denied to him. A 
 similar art enabled our own Fitz-Gubin to play off Cuckles 
 for his utility, another man or two for their sociability, and 
 so on ; while he knew precisely the worth of each according 
 to his ultimate standard of social appeal. Be wise, my good 
 reader, in your generation, and remember to do with your 
 Cuckleses, &c., as you would with foreign money : piastres 
 are very useful in the East, drachmas in Greece, and dollars 
 in Malta you are not expected to take them and pass them 
 in England ! 
 
 All this time the afternoon has been, of course, wearing 
 away ; by half-past six, the Admiral's door began to give 
 forth a series of thunderings, after each of which it rained 
 in a visitor. Roribel, the flag-lieutenant, was an object of 
 serene brilliance ; Sir Ajax Thorp, dignified ; Lady Thorp, 
 
68 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 magnificent ; Captain and Mrs. Plimmer and Miss Plimraer, 
 truly imposing. Of Fitz-Gubin's fresh, sumptuous, and 
 languid appearance, I can only say this, that he looked 
 (can you fancy so charming a figure ?) like Narcissus after 
 a Tnrkish bath ! 
 
 " How do thoo do, Lord Fitth-Gubin ? My nieces 
 
 How'th your father, Lord Eitth-Gubin ?" said the extremely 
 aged Admiral, in his peculiar way. These established 
 questions over, (and Lord Alfred, remember, though an 
 aristocrat, was only a "mate,") the Admiral left him to 
 make his way with the nieces. 
 
 " How do thoo do, Mr. Clarendon ? How'th your 
 father, Mithter Clarendon?" 
 
 So was dismissed Mr. Clarendon, a lieutenant, cousin to 
 the First Lord. And the Admiral, a minute afterwards, 
 was wagging his old gray head, alongside Sir Ajax Thorp, 
 in close confab. 
 
 Roribel and Fitz-Gubin fraternized ; they had known 
 each other in South America, and Riddel Roribel was a 
 swell. 
 
 " Who are we waiting for V 9 asked Fitz-Gubin, in a quiet 
 corner with Roribel. He told him. 
 
 " I wish he'd come." 
 
 "So do I. By Jove, Sir ! we are to tap some of the 
 good claret, to-day," said Roribel, in an impressive tone. 
 "You know our excellent friend is considered rather a 
 screw. In fact, between ourselves, there was no keeping 
 up the entente cordiale over the stuff he used to produce 
 here ! 'Gad, the services could not act in harmony j and 
 the Island was falling into anarchy. They say Ricks gave 
 him a hint !" 
 
 "The deuce !" said Fitz-Gubin. 
 
 The laggard having arrived, Fitz-Gubin moved in his 
 order, with Miss Plimmer, to dinner ; and found himself 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 69 
 
 between that young lady and the Admiral's youngest niece. 
 Miss Plimmer, knowing that Fitz-G. was a lord, kindly 
 overlooked the fact that he was only a mate. In ordinary 
 cases (papa being a captain, yon know) she could not have 
 been expected to take much notice of anybody under a lieu- 
 tenant. As a lover of discipline, I cannot but admire the 
 discipline which in these places arranges such matters. It 
 would puzzle Garter King of Arms (an official for whom I 
 have an unaffected respect) to discriminate and arrange 
 precedence in some societies I have known. A captain is a 
 captain we know, (and a very strange gentleman he is, 
 sometimes,) and that Mrs. Captain Plimmer should take 
 the lead of Mrs. Lieutenant Jenks, is natural enough ; but 
 what if Mrs. Jenks' father the alderman be a knight ? Is 
 the youngest daughter of a captain in command superior to 
 the eldest daughter of a captain on half-pay ? Again, a 
 midshipman is nobody, we know ; but what if he is the only 
 son of a man with five thousand a-year ? 
 
 Would Rosa Plimmer have made an exception in his 
 favor in such a case ? It may be so. Kosa was pretty 
 affable now ; for the third year of the commission of the 
 Unsaleable was now wearing away ; and in a few months 
 Captain Plimmer and his family must retire into private life. 
 It is, indeed, a touching sight to see one of those veterans, 
 whose eye, the other day, carried terror in every glance, 
 moving about a seaport town, in a blue overcoat a merely 
 private man ; they linger in these towns, I think, as a 
 mourner lingers by a churchyard, musing over the memory 
 of defunct power meditating on the glory of past 
 greatness. 
 
 The ladies departed. 
 
 " Lord Fitth-Gubin, I hope thoo like the Sovereign ; 
 Mithter Clarendon, I thrust thoo are comfortable in the 
 Spitfire ?" 
 
70 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 The duties of hospitality being so far performed to these 
 gentlemen, and the " good claret" set moving, the conver- 
 sation of the evening went on with its usual decorum on 
 such state occasions taking the initiative from the Admi- 
 ral, and Sir Ajax Thorp and moving (like a state elephant 
 at ail Indian festival) in a heavy manner about. Naval 
 news was said little of indeed, naval talk about that period 
 was half made up of growls about the Admiral himself 
 (which you could scarcely expect to hear at his own table) ; 
 politics were, of course, tabooed ; and, finally, you could 
 only wonder, as Fitz-Gubin mentally did, what the dinners 
 were like on the " 50<^-claret days." 
 
 In the drawing-room, where, in due time, (but not before 
 Fitz-Gubin's light, delicate complexion testified, by a tinge 
 of faint color, to the " sanitary reform" which had been 
 lately made in the AdmiraFs dinner arrangements,) they 
 adjourned, Fitz-Gubin found the ladies talking about " con- 
 version " the conversion of the Maltese. 
 
 " Can you convert a Maltese ?" asked Fitz-Gubin. 
 
 " Why," said the eldest Miss Wyoming, smiling, " we 
 have not had much success, hitherto. A system which so 
 weds itself to the imagination of the devotees, you know 
 attracting through the senses, as our minister in St. Kilder- 
 kin Mr. Fatton says having no such attractions to 
 offer " 
 
 " No attractions about Mr. Fatton, you mean, Miss 
 Wyoming," said the genial Roribel, smiling. 
 
 " Mr. Roribel is a wit, you know, Lord Fitz-Gubin, and 
 we must excuse him. But you understand me, the absence 
 of all that splendid ornament " 
 
 " Those heavenly little crosses," said Miss Plimmer. " I 
 declare the altar at St. John's you might fancy it was an 
 emperor's side-board." 
 
 " We know whom it is but too calculated to please, dear 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 71 
 
 Emma, as Mr. Fatten says," went on Miss Wyoming mys- 
 teriously. "Bat I do feel an enthusiastic wish to save to 
 win one, beautiful lamb to the true fold. I should like, 
 shouldn't you, Mary, to convert little Marie Polonai ?" 
 
 "Little Marie Polonai," replied Fitz-Gubin, mechani- 
 cally. 
 
 " Marie Polonai ; do you know the name ?" 
 
 " I know there is one Polonai, an old man, who sells ices 
 to the mess. At least, I think that's the name." 
 
 " The same man," Miss Wyoming went on, warmed by 
 her own eloquence ; " they live in a little house in the Strada 
 St. Orsola, with a green gate." 
 
 ("A little house in the Strada St. Orsola, with a green 
 gate," mentally repeated Lord Alfred.) 
 
 "And a kind of court-yard, where there is an orange- 
 tree." 
 
 ("A kind of court-yard, where there is an orange-tree," 
 continued mentally Fitz-G.) 
 
 " There is a dried-up fountain, with broken sides so 
 romantic." 
 
 ("A dried-up fountain," his lordship went on.) 
 
 " Lord Fitth-Goobin, I with you a good night. Mithter 
 Clarendon, I with you a good evening." So saying, the 
 Admiral, whose load of years made it require no apology 
 for him to withdraw early, toddled off to bed. 
 
 Not long after, the party broke up. The girls were 
 quite pleased with the interest Fitz-Gubin had shown in 
 their talk. A hint about a pic-nic to Bosketto had been 
 thrown out, and joyfully hailed. 
 
 "A very pleasing face," said Miss Wyoming to her sister, 
 as they were going to bed. " Quite the look of the old 
 blood, my dear." 
 
 " Quite, indeed,' 7 was the innocent reply. 
 
 It was a lovely night, of the whitest moonlight, as Fitz- 
 
72 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Gubin strolled away. Here and there he caught a glimpse, 
 through a street, of the sea, which was all alive with light. 
 The air was cool, yet there was scarcely wind enough to 
 disturb the blossoms on an almond tree. 
 
 Need I say, that in Mula's Cafe, whose hospitable door 
 was open to the night, there was a large party of naval 
 men ? Fitz-Gubin strolled in, bent on the cooling lemon- 
 ade ; and found the usual smoking, supping, refreshment, 
 and conversation going on. 
 
 " Yes, sir, Smithett will get the vacancy. You'll see," 
 said a mate. 
 
 " Yacancy !" whispered a midshipman to my friend, Pug 
 Welby, " he's always running on vacancies, that Moggies." 
 
 "Yes," said Pug, "he has always a vacancy in his 
 head !" 
 
 Fitz-Gubin sat down at one of the little marble tables by 
 himself, and lolled in tranquil meditation. He felt the 
 lemonade thrill him with a pleasant coolness, and there was 
 present to his mind's eye a little house in the Strada St. 
 Orsola, with a green gate, and a kind of court-yard, .with 
 an orange-tree in it. 
 
 I could tell you stories about Fitz-Gubin's South Ameri- 
 can adventures (only they have nothing to do with our 
 present scenes), which would show you that it was no 
 wonder that he sallied forth after finishing his lemonade on 
 the present occasion. In his most indifferent manner, he 
 inquired for Strada St. Orsola, of the waiter of the hotel 
 where he changed his clothes. It was not long before he 
 found himself in a narrow and steep, hilly street, of which 
 many of the houses were high, but lank and meagre-looking. 
 Nothing was stirring ; his own shadow in the moonlight 
 was all he saw, as he walked quietly along, keeping close 
 on one side. Sleep soundly, old Polonai ! Come out and 
 look at the moonlight, young Marie ! 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 73 
 
 Fitz-Gubin presently paused, and reconnoitred. "Tall 
 bouses," he thinks ; " high windows." But a friendly bottle 
 with the boatswain, and a few dollars to some forecastle 
 men and a Jac,oUs ladder would be made which would 
 dangle as lightly as a cobweb from the highest window in 
 Malta ! A Jacob's ladder, whereon evil figures (unlike those 
 of the dream of the patriarch) might ascend and descend ; 
 know we not such objects ? thinks Fitz-Gubiu. The boat- 
 swain of the "Coromandel" might have told you stories 
 about JacoVs ladders. They say, Harry Bulstrode was all 
 but caught with one at a lofty enough window (in all senses), 
 somewhere in the Mediterranean ; and that the Admiralty 
 promoted him out of the way. 
 
 But it was net a tall window, nor a high house this, as 
 our hero almost immediately found. It lay back from the 
 street, inside this kind of a court-yard ; and here is the 
 adventurer at the gate. Looking in, he sees a figure with 
 its back towards him sitting, leaning over the dried-up 
 fountain. 
 
 The house itself was all dark. With the gentlest of 
 movements Fitz-Gubin moved the gate, and entered the 
 court-yard, with a beating heart. The figure instantly 
 started ; back flew a mantilla, and the moonlight fell in a 
 douche on one of the prettiest faces one of the sweetest 
 girl's faces he had ever seen. 
 
 " Hush," said the youth, " I am ill. I am fainting. I 
 come to ask you for a glass of water." 
 
 Putting his hand on his heart, he knelt, and lay on his 
 side on the grass. The girl's face showed that she believed 
 him, and she went inside and brought a cup. As she 
 stooped to put it to his lips, the whole beauty of her face 
 and neck a neck that the sun had not been allowed to 
 spoil, and beside which you would have thought pearls 
 vulgar revealed itself to him. Darker eyes fuller of 
 
 4 
 
T4 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 sweetness and light never held truth in the bottom of 
 their deep wells.* 
 
 " I am better ; thank you, in the name of the Blessed 
 Lady," said our friend. (This apostasy he found service- 
 able in Catholic countries ) " By what name shall I 
 remember you ? " 
 
 " My name is Marie. 77 # 
 
 " Then, thank you, Marie. I am better and must go. 
 You live here ?" 
 
 11 This is my father's/ 7 
 
 " I must be going. You have a pretty place here, 
 Marie. 77 
 
 " It is quiet, and we are quiet are you now well? 77 in- 
 quired the girl. 
 
 He rose. " Thanks to you, I am and I must go home. 
 What a smell of flowers ! I must send you a jewel for 
 your kindness, Marie. 77 
 
 " Good night, Signor, 77 said the girl, in a very serious 
 manner. 
 
 He bowed, and hurried away into the street. He strolled 
 down it with a firm stride. There was a step behind him, 
 and a Maltese voice eager and hoarse, said 
 
 " Signor, where you been ? 77 
 
 He turned sharp round, and saw a young and brawny 
 Maltese before him, who retreated a stride, and kept a 
 black and glowing eye upon his face. 
 
 " Where have I been, you infernal rascal of a smytch, 
 what's that to you ?' 7 
 
 " Curse you all ! that 7 s the way of you all, with your 
 7 fernal ways and 7 fernal tongues. By G d, a knife the only 
 thing for you ! If I think you play your impudent tricks 
 with Signora Marie, I put knife in you, by G d, Signer. 
 
 * Verbatim from Forbessy's papers. ED. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 15 
 
 You go make love to your English lady ; leave Maltese 
 lady alone !" 
 
 As Fitz-Gubin afterwards told his friends, the closing 
 sentence of this " rascal's" speech was enough to make any- 
 body laugh. 
 
 "You impudent scoundrel, take yourself off," he said. 
 " Fll have you hanged, sir, if you talk to me 1" 
 
 " You been see Signora Marie ?" 
 
 " How dare you, sir ?" said Fitz-Gubin, sincerely indig- 
 nant at the fellow's impudence. 
 
 " Antonio I" cried the Maltese. A figure started behind 
 Lord Alfred. He started, too, to meet it but a blow from 
 behind fell with a heavy force upon his head, and he sank to 
 the ground. 
 
 Let us return to Mula's cafe. 
 
 A man entered the cafe, late, whom some of the party 
 there knew a man belonging to the Yixen. 
 
 " Any of the Sovereign's fellows here ?" said he, moisten, 
 ing a cigar in his mouth, very quietly, and sitting down. 
 
 "Yes," answered Riddel. "Yes," answered Siddling- 
 ton. 
 
 " Because," said he, " there's one of your fellows lying 
 bleeding in a street near the Lascares. I advise you to 
 look after him." 
 
 " The devil there is !" said the two gentlemen, suddenly 
 starting up. 
 
 When Lord Fitz-Gubin came to himself, he found him- 
 self lying in his hammock, on board the Sovereign, with a 
 wet cloth on his head. 
 
76 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; -OK, 
 
 CHAPTER III 
 
 FITZ-GUBIN'S head (for reasons which I need not enlarge 
 upon) did not suffer any permanent injury, or, indeed, any 
 serious hurt on this unfortunate occasion. He was a little 
 puzzled when he came to himself at first, and found a sen- 
 try near him, who immediately reported his recovery to the 
 assistant-surgeon. That officer, MacStirk, was instantly at 
 his side to see how the case was going on, and to administer 
 a draught. Next morning Fitz-Gubin was, of course, re- 
 ported in the sick list ; " Contusion a little fever quiet," 
 said the surgeon. So the patient took up his abode in that 
 cabin on the main-deck which we are already acquainted 
 with decidedly pale arid seedy, and with an awkward clot 
 in his hair, testifying to the . smartness of the tap on his 
 skull, but not in any danger. Here he spent his' time in 
 bed all day, near the cool port-hole, and opposite the engrav- 
 ing of the brigand and his daughter an object of interest 
 and sympathy to his friends. 
 
 What had happened ? that was the question, as people 
 justly remarked. He had been dining at the Admiral's : 
 "Couldn't have had too much to drink there!" remarked 
 Pug Welby, satirically, when he heard the story. " A row 
 with the police," said others, as if that were a matter-of- 
 course affair, which it ought not to be in a well-regulated 
 squadron. " Fell from his horse," Cuckles reported, appa- 
 rently by authority. The surgeon, no doubt, knew whether 
 the contusion was such as a fall from a horse would cause. 
 MacStirk, with his usual ignorance of the world, must needs 
 blurt out, when the Commander put it carelessly to him and 
 the Surgeon together (for Cuckles had been chatting with 
 the Commander just before), "whether Lord Fitz-Gubin 
 had hurt himself by a fall?" that it was "more of the 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 77 
 
 nature of a varra severe bruise, such as a maan with a 
 
 rung He beg-ged pardon, he meant a stick !" but the 
 
 Surgeon cut this bore short, and left the Commander to 
 take his own view of it. So the Commander did ; and a 
 charming little narrative, investing the accident with the 
 hues of imagination, reached the Admiral's house. Poor 
 Lord Alfred had had a severe fall (these Maltese streets 
 are notoriously dangerous to one unused to them), and the 
 Misses Wyomings sent him works to read when convales- 
 cent, including tracts, which found their way to the gun- 
 room, and excited wonder and admiration there. The 
 "Mariner Rescued" (2d) was one of these, and an effort 
 was made to bring its influence to bear on Bung, the mas- 
 ter's assistant of course without any success by the 
 midshipmen. But, indeed, there is no want of works calcu- 
 lated to awaken the nautical mind among those supplied by 
 Government, if they are brought up from the hold a pre- 
 liminary which I have known to be neglected in some of 
 Her Majesty's ships and vessels of war. 
 
 It is to be supposed that Riddel and that set guessed more 
 accurately than the multitude the nature of Fitz-Gubin's 
 misfortune. Cuckles was with him the very next morning 
 when he had moved into the main-deck cabin, and Fitz- 
 Gubin then said, with a feeble voice, "You won't let me be 
 disturbed, Cuckles ? Don't let us have the fellows eating 
 ice, and joking that old French Maltese in here, like a good 
 fellow !" Cuckles promised faithfully that he would see that 
 nothing of the sort happened. In a few days, when he was 
 better, and some of the set were sitting with him, be began 
 to talk a little more freely of his accident. He " had met a 
 girl, and, by Jove, he was talking to her " 
 
 " Whereabouts ?" asked Siddlington. 
 
 " Oh, why, you know I don't know Yaletta well. . But I 
 had somewhere near the market, I fancy met her ; and 
 
78 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 she had just gone, when this confounded cad by Jove, I 
 never read of such insolence must needs accost me : and 
 what do you think he said ? ' Go make love to English 
 lady ; leave Maltese lady alone 1" 
 
 Riddel and Siddlington roared with laughter, and the 
 speech of the smytch was pronounced one of the most char- 
 acteristic lately produced by the island. Fitz-Gubin leaned 
 back, and grinned at the reminiscence. "I was so taken 
 aback by the extraordinary insolence of the fellow," he con- 
 tinued, " that I did not notice a man who must have been 
 lurking in the neighborhood, and who suddenly gave me a 
 blow " 
 
 "Ice to-day, Messieurs'?" said a voice at the door; and 
 there appeared the meek but not vulgar head of old 
 Polonai. 
 
 Cuckles was going to expel the speaker, in spite of his 
 age and reputed nobility of extraction, summarily ; but 
 Fitz-Gubin, coloring slightly as he saw him, called him in. 
 
 " Ah, the Sieur de Polonai !" said Riddel. " Well, Polo- 
 nai, musing on the downfall of the noblesse, eh? An ice, 
 Polonai. When Henri returns, we shall have Polonai on 
 his legs again." 
 
 The old fellow, seasoned to chaff, having been trained like 
 a war-horse to stand that fire, by the experience of innumer- 
 able ships on board which he had carried the ice-can, went 
 on filling the glass with perfect composure. 
 
 " Thanks, Seigneur de Polonai ! Merd ! You know, 
 Polonai, your order brought their exile on themselves by 
 their infernal tyranny," went on the lively Riddel. " I can 
 just fancy old Polonai wopping a vassal I" 
 
 Polonai grinned in his mild manner. 
 
 " An ice for me," said Fitz-Gubin. 
 
 Polonai worked away with the spoon in the crimson mass, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 19 
 
 pleasant to the eye as to the tongue, and handed one to 
 him. As Fitz-Gubin raised himself 
 
 " You ill, Signor V Polonai said, glancing at his bound- 
 up head. Fitz-Gubin colored a little, and nodded. Polo- 
 nai looked at him ; you would have been surprised to see so 
 much interest in that tame old face. He had a soft and 
 even refined empressement (don't sneer, Tompkins, please!) 
 in his manner, as he bowed at the side of the sofa, and pre- 
 sented Fitz-Gubin with the ice. When he drew back, and 
 stood modestly beside his can, you might have noticed that 
 his eye rested rather frequently on Fitz-Gubin. 
 
 The side was piped. The Captain was coming on board 
 to hear complaints, which had accumulated since his last 
 visit from his house on shore. The Commander had sum- 
 moned all culprits, and the regular old routine was being gone 
 through ; a marine who had polished off a corporal a 
 seaman or two who have got drunk, and told the officer of 
 
 the watch they would see him d d first, are waiting 
 
 judgment. But the gun-room mess are summoned to an 
 interview with the Captain in the Admiral's cabin, regard- 
 ing the carrying of an instrument, known as a "colt," 
 which has been applied to a meagre and pallid youngster, 
 who has complained of the same. So away go the cabin- 
 party ; old Polonai has glided out ; Fitz-Gubin has just 
 composed himself for a swsta, with a handkerchief over his 
 eyes, when the door is very gently opened. 
 
 He drew the handkerchief off and looked up, and he saw, 
 entering with extreme quietness, and closing the door 
 behind him, old Polonai. 
 
 " Lord Fitz-Gubin," the old fellow said in a low voice, 
 " you got that wound in your head in Strada St. Orsola ! 
 Hush, milor, I am a very old man. I bear you no ill-will, 
 and I respect your nation. One word, only, Lord Fitz- 
 
80 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 Gubin, take care ! Not what I might do I threaten yon 
 with. No, I am a poor old devil, and no matter. But, my 
 lord, be a brave man and respect all men's rights [" 
 
 Fitz-Gubin felt his throat dry as he was going to speak, 
 and before he quite recovered from that effect, and from a 
 confusion which somehow came over him, the old man dis- 
 appeared. Fitz-Gubin lay there, and wondered over the 
 speech dozed and woke up, fancying he heard him at his 
 ear, then slept deeper and found himself in Strada St. Orsola, 
 There he was at the fountain, and Marie sitting near him 
 her eyes on some object on the opposite side and never look- 
 ing at him, and the fountain seemed to fill up with water sud- 
 denly, and out of it came somebody who was his father and 
 old Polonai in one, in some unaccountable manner. Then 
 he was at Castellan, at home, and wandering round the old 
 mausoleum where the Castellans used to be buried in the 
 olden time, and he was going to be buried there, and thought 
 it very odd that he should know anything about it ; and 
 just as the Miss Wyomings were putting a nosegay into his 
 coffin, and Marie taking it away to keep as a souvenir, he 
 awoke. The ship's bell was striking, and not the bell of 
 Castellan church tower, and the afternoon was far advanced. 
 The dream impressed him a great deal and even in these 
 anti-superstitious days a dream will impress people. (Man- 
 chester, to be sure, expounds the vision of Jacob, by sup- 
 posing him to have taken too much meat for supper ; it is a 
 great blessing to live in an enlightened age !) He found it 
 necessary to cheer himself up with a little soda-water and 
 cura^oa, and the word being passed for Hobb, that marine 
 soon brought the refreshment from the gun-room where, 
 by this time, the cloth was laid for dinner, and the stew- 
 ard had broken off the composition of a sonnet to his mis- 
 tress, to indite the carte for the day. The fragrant and 
 crisp beverage revived Fitz-Gulin, and dinner following 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 81 
 
 (at which Cackles took good care to send a faithful attend- 
 ant with plenty of the Brimbousky marine, to the cabin) he 
 soon only remembered the dream as " deuced odd," and the 
 speech of old Polonai as that of a "queer old fellow.' 7 As 
 his head mended, he lay there and meditated on little Ma- 
 rie, and on the necessary precautions to be taken for the 
 future, against violent "cads." For indeed, he habitually 
 considered a " cad" who rivalled him in these affairs, much 
 as a kind of poacher one who interfered with the rights 
 of the lord of the manor. 
 
 In a short time news came to Malta brought by a young 
 fellow of the name of Forbessy that the "Bloater" had 
 been " lost " on the coast of Spain ! This was the cause 
 of the arrival of Scrymgeour Forbessy, Esq., in Malta, and 
 his subsequent apparition in the gun-room of the " Sove- 
 reign " one fine morning. Open flew the door, and in stalked, 
 to the astonishment of the fellows there) including the con- 
 valescent Fitz-Gubin), a long youth in a picturesque but 
 seedy garb, decidedly resembling that of a Spanish privateer. 
 
 " Why, hillo-- who's this ?" asked old Manton. 
 
 " Don't you know me ? You do, Siddlington Forbessy 
 of the ' Bloater ?' " 
 
 " The devil ! so it is, why, what's the meaning of this 
 rig?" 
 
 "The ' Bloater's ' lost, Sir," cried Forbessy, flinging 
 himself on a chair. " Not a rag of my traps saved ; the 
 officers and company are to be sent for, and the admiral 
 must send a craft too, to bring away the lower masts and 
 rudder." 
 
 " Bring a bottle of porter !" cried Siddlington, with pro- 
 fessional zeal ; "and you how the deuce came you here?" 
 
 " Pappleton sent me on, in a Spanish merchant schooner, 
 and, 'gad, I had to borrow a rig from the skipper, and I 
 figure for the present as Antonio Perez." 
 
 4* 
 
82 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 "Pappleton's smashed then, by Jove/ 7 said a midshipman. 
 
 " Nay ; they'll try Mrs. Pappleton, my dear fellow," Pug 
 Welby said. 
 
 " Well, Fm d d," old Manton began ; " they can't keep 
 a ship in the service, now, by the blazes they can't. That's 
 the third ship there's been lost since the beginning of the 
 commission. I don't know what the service is coming to. 
 There won't be a ship left to do the work of the station, 
 soon. I'll be hanged if the men that are appointed now-a- 
 days know how to keep a ship afloat. The service is changed 
 since I joined, I'm hanged if it ain't ! There was Tails ; he 
 had the Fizgig in the Baltic in 1814, and he took her off a 
 lee shore blowing ; by the Lord, it did blow in those days ! 
 and, by Jove, I say Tails he brought the Fizgig safe and 
 sound home to Spithead. Why, they knew how to do it in 
 1814; but, now, the longer I live, the worse the service gets." 
 
 That Manton could have continued in this strain all day 
 long, anybody who remembers the venerable mate, will at 
 once agree ; the key-note (that is, the few simple words 
 which begin the harangue) once struck off he went ; and 
 instantly, Siddlington winked at Riddel Pug nudged Lati- 
 mer the youngsters playfully capered behind his chair, and 
 various exhibitions of comic delight began. When he stop- 
 ped, everybody felt that a familiar bit of fun had terminated : 
 and then old Manton, wagging his broad coat tails, disap- 
 peared ; Fitz-Gubin watching his movements as a dillettante 
 stares at the ribs of some fossil ante-diluvian. "Bravo, 
 Manton," Latimer cried ; and as the door closed behind 
 the veteran, Beaulieu looked up (having heard the oration, 
 with his eyes fixed on the page of a novel,) ejaculated 
 "Rum old cock !" and returned to his favorite writer I 
 
 "Go on, Forbessy," Siddlington said. "Capital porter 
 that I think ? We haven't room for above fifty dozen of 
 it without displacing the Madeira !" 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 83 
 
 " I'll go on, my dear fellow ; but I feel a barbarian in 
 this garb. I shall have to borrow a rig from you we're 
 just about a size till Darba can make me something. I've 
 forwarded Pappleton's despatches on to the Admiral, and 
 he will likely send for me, to examine me about the matter 
 in person ; you know it won't do to appear before him as 
 Antonio Perez." 
 
 "That r s true ; come on to the -cock-pit," said the good- 
 natured Siddlington. 
 
 "This will be a serious matter for Darba!" said Pug 
 Welby, with gravity. 
 
 "Gad, I don't know. Except Forbessy none of the 
 ' Bloaters 7 look like Christians," observed Riddel. 
 
 A quarter of an hour's lapse brought Mr. Forbessy, look- 
 ing like the professional Forbessy of every-day life, to the 
 gun-room again. It was about lunch-time, and a hot lunch 
 was not tardy in coming, accordingly. 
 
 "You won't be sorry to get a beefsteak, or a quail on 
 toast, again, Forbessy ?'' said Siddlington. 
 
 "Not I though quails were never common in the 
 Bloater.'" 
 
 "No quails?" Riddel said. 
 
 "No quails," replied Forbessy, gravely. "But a steak, 
 after the wretched oily messes of my friend Perez, won't be 
 amiss." 
 
 So saying, Mr. Forbessy seated himself at a table, and 
 seized a knife and fork with the glorious inspiration of sea 
 air, since 4 A. M., stirring in him. The languid youths, who 
 had been three months in harbor, envied him that ogre- 
 like appetite. 
 
 "I should like an ice," a youngster said, discontentedly ; 
 "but there's no getting an ice to-day, unless you send a 
 man on shore on purpose 1 Old Polonai is gone." 
 
 Fitz-Gubin looked up. It was the first moment he had 
 
84 SWELL-LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 exhibited any animation for an hour-and-a-half. Perhaps 
 he felt bored by seeing a stranger attract so much attention 
 as Forbessy had been doing ; perhaps he was amused, and 
 not bored, by the county paper from home, which he was 
 lounging over. Even the family of which Fitz-Gubin is a 
 member, must tire of that paper, I think ; though it every 
 other week or so has " Rejoicings at Castellan dinner of 
 the noble landlord's tenants Mr. Kiss in the chair the cloth 
 being removed, and the nsual toasts, &c., <fcc., the chairman 
 gave the Noble The, &c,, &c., (tremendous cheers,) the young 
 Lord Evremond, (great cheering,) the Infant Plantagenet, 
 (renewed and enthusiastic cheering,") and so on, on good- 
 ness knows what, and how many occasions, per ann. Even 
 they, I remark, must tire of that print, and its sycophancy ; 
 and probably they despise it, too. But this is a digression. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin, I repeat, looked up. " What did you say 
 about Polonai, youngster ?" 
 
 " What did I say ? I said he was gone to Marseilles, 
 somebody said." The youngster was as cnrt and saucy as 
 a youngster in the " Sovereign" dared to be ; for, "con- 
 found the fellow and his title," (the youngster afterwards 
 observed to a brother juvenile, during a smoke "on the sly," 
 at the main-deck bow-port,) "he never takes any notice of 
 your existence, except just at his own convenience ;" and, 
 true enough, several people did make some such complaint 
 about our friend Fitz-G. He lived with you, breathed the 
 same air with you, yet seemed to discover you as if you 
 had just dropped from the moon, some day, suddenly when 
 you could be made useful ! 
 
 " Now for the loss of ' The Bloater/ " said Siddlington, as 
 the cloth was removed. " Let me give you a drop of cura- 
 qoa just a globule, if you like and give us the story." 
 
 There were not many men left in the mess, and Forbessy 
 stretched his legs, out, and was just beginning, when Lord 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 85 
 
 Alfred rose, begged pardon, and passed out. " Hem !" 
 ejaculated our friend Forbessy who was an off-hand, open 
 sort of fellow " Fve been boring that young gentleman, I 
 fear. Fve seen him before, somewhere, too. To be sure 
 I remember he was in the ' Cocytus/ when she broke 
 down some time ago, before our last cruise. Would you 
 believe it, he wanted himself and his traps brought in, in 
 our pinnace, before the mails, if I remember right ?" 
 
 Siddlington smiled, rather faintly. " Oh, I dare say he 
 was gate as a youngster, you know. We ah" he looked 
 at Riddel " we find him a good enough sort of a fellow 
 here." Which moderate speech, and mild appeal to Riddel, 
 meant that that, in fact we were of rather aristocratic 
 tastes in the " Sovereign," but that we were not tuft-hunt- 
 ers ! Siddlington's father was a fashionable physician so 
 his family had lived within ear-shot, and within the parfum 
 of the great world, at all events, and had been accustomed 
 to reverence it from infancy. 
 
 " Lord Alfred Fitz-Grubin is a young man of great pro- 
 mise, a great family, own half shire," said Cuckles, with 
 
 emphasis. 
 
 " shire, eh?" said Forbessy. Then he relapsed into 
 
 thought for a moment, and presently laughed, and said, 
 " Oh, I know who he is, then ! But, however, to my tale ; 
 I won't detain you long. 
 
 "You know the 'Bloater' was sent some time ago to Bar- 
 celona. Mrs. Pappleton had never seen Spain, and justly 
 believing it to be one of the most romantic countries in 
 Europe, why she was curious to visit it ! Accordingly, 
 one day in Dockyard Creek, when I was in charge of the 
 watch, I received a note, which I afterwards preserved as a 
 curiosity, and which, I fear, must have perished with my 
 kit. It was addressed to 'The Officer of the Watch, Bloater? 
 and ran thus : ' Mrs. Pappkton requests that the Officer of 
 
86 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 the Watch will send the Pinnace on shore, uith the mast out. 9 
 I always obey orders ; so I did send the pinnace, and it 
 returned with a cargo of bandboxes arid bundles, and a 
 message from Madame, by the coxswain, that we were to 
 bend the studding-sail gear ! I at once saw that we were 
 off, and soon afterwards the commander and his wife camo 
 on board, arid we got under weigh. Time at sea in the 
 Bloater went slowly enough ; Pappleton and his relations 
 (by which I mean nearly all the officers in the ship) seemed 
 to enjoy themselves ; but for a private gentleman, uncon- 
 nected with the ' Family/ a ' Family Ship' is at best a dull 
 residence. I was duly asked to dinner, to be sure ; but I 
 do not take any special interest in the social news of Pleb- 
 Biddlecumb, which was the staple subject of conversation. 
 Once in a way, the social intrigues of a second-rate county 
 town how the respectabilities there try to keep in with the 
 county gentry, and to keep out retired tradesmen and 
 farmers may be curious. Habitually, such topics seem 
 (to me at least) rather stupid. 
 
 " We left Barcelona, when it came on to blow. I had 
 the middle watch, and it was freshening towards morning, 
 (as is the wind's way in the Mediterranean, ) when I was 
 relieved by Joe Bluffett, the master, who always kept the 
 morning watch. Joe had just joined us, before we left a 
 bandy-legged, silent man, of heavy aspect. He took the 
 telescope from you, glanced at the compass, * Hum, Nor' 
 and by West/ lays her course hum and devil a word of 
 ' good morning/ or ' fresh breeze/ or anything approaching 
 to human communion. He called Mrs. Pappleton, 'Mann/ 
 and kept out of her way, or if she spoke to him he touched 
 his cap and answered the question, and sheered off. She 
 called him, in private, ' the bear/ and Pappleton took a 
 dislike to him. 
 
 " Well, this morning that I am speaking of, Bluffett came 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 87 
 
 up, as heavy and as silent as ever, and did not seem to think 
 it was blowing a bit. Some fellows think it never blows in 
 the Mediterranean, (if they had been on the coast of Syria 
 in the winter of 1840, they would have found out their mis- 
 take,) and I dare say Bluffett, who has knocked about the 
 planet since he was four feet high, did not expect much from 
 a bit of a breeze, where we were. He took the glass with 
 the customary grunt, and I went off to my hammock, tired 
 enough. When we were routed out at five bells, I found, 
 as I had expected, the breeze much higher, and then began 
 the comforts of a gale in a small craft hammocks below 
 such an atmosphere and such a deck hatches battened 
 down smoke filling the lower deck black and white Pap- 
 pleton prostrate in the berth the mess-boy crawling aft 
 with some coffee and ship's biscuit in a tin pot ; and, when 
 you'd quitted all this with disgust, the moment you shot 
 your head up among tarpaulins, through the companion- 
 way, slash went the spray in your face you found the deck 
 wet fore and aft, and were deafened by the roar and shriek 
 of the wind through the gaunt and dripping rigging and 
 bare-looking masts. 
 
 "The first day the wind was hot and unrefreshing 
 always an unpleasant feature ; and at sunset there was 
 thunder brewing. The horizon was black, streaked by fly- 
 ing masses of gray, and the darkness was settling well down, 
 when a window seemed suddenly opened in the horizon's 
 wall you know that look the black sky has a lid seems 
 to rise and quiver for an instant, disclosing a whole region 
 of shuddering fire then shuts, and the thick, sonorous roll 
 of the thunder hurries along. The close-reefed main topsail 
 gleams white against the sky with intensity for a minute ; 
 then a pause and more wind, and the heavy clatter of rain. 
 The lightning showed the yellow jaws of Pappleton looking 
 ghastly indeed, I can assure you, that evening. I had the 
 
88 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 first watch, and Pappleton stuck pretty close to me. ' Bad 
 night, Mr. Forbessy ! I hope Mr. Bluffett is alive to the 
 importance of looking out. 7 At eleven, being near his lad- 
 der, I heard a faint sound, which proved to be the cabin 
 bell. Mrs. Pappleton was in want of mulled wine ! Men 
 were moving to and fro, and to old Bluffett's inquiry what 
 was the matter, I heard this answer given. For two hours 
 that veteran had not opened his mouth ; he ejaculated 
 d n! 
 
 " Next day passed, and the third day of the gale arrived, 
 when the question was, ' where were we V l Mr. Bluffett ; 
 where's Mr. Bluffett V was perpetually in the mouth of 
 Pappleton. A wag among the crew picked up the expres- 
 sion, and as I was passing forward and as a huge roll of 
 the ship capsized half-a-dozen basins, out of which the men 
 were taking their pea-soup I heard one of them cry, * O 
 Lord ! where's Mr. Bluffett ?' and the laugh that followed. 
 Pappleton, meanwhile, kept descending to the cabin to 
 pacify Mrs. P., and coming on deck to see the master. 
 Then he would look up to the masts, as if he understood all 
 about it, (which he didn't,) and then go and fiddle about 
 the binnacle having a notion that there was something 
 wrong with the compasses. 
 
 "At noon it was whispered about and reached the ears 
 of Mules, who brought it to our dog-hole of a berth (you 
 should have seen the berth by this time) that there was a 
 difference of opinion between the master and Pappleton. 
 The master said we were off Los Murnos, and Pappleton 
 declared we were fifty miles south of the Reschio Palado. 
 The boatswain, Crabb, communicated his opinion to me, 
 gratuitously, that they ' was neither of them right, or he'd 
 be d d/ and indulged in the gloomiest prophecies. When 
 I went up to keep the 4 to 6, 1 found old Bluffett and Pap 
 pleton's controversy coming to a crisis. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 89 
 
 " 'Mr. Bluffett, I'll wear and keep her W.S.W ; there's 
 an error in the compass of ' 
 
 " ' It's my opinion, Capt. Pappleton, that you are mis- 
 taken. I beg distinctly to recommend ' 
 
 " 'Wear ship, Mr. Forbessy,' said Pappleton. 
 
 "'Then, Captain Pappleton, I must beg to give up 
 charge, 7 says the master. 
 
 " ' Eh ? Here. Stop, Mr. Forbessy,' and again he was 
 undecided. (You know we had a talent for losing our way 
 in the ' Bloater.' I have known her dodge round and round 
 Malta, without finding it, before now.) He then consulted 
 Hackles, the First Lieutenant, and it seems that he agreed 
 with him, for when I was swallowing some tea about seven, 
 I heard, ' Wear ship !' The last thing I heard before turn- 
 ing in, was that the wind had abated, and sea too, and that 
 we were running before it. 
 
 It was about eleven at night when I awoke with a start, 
 and fancied somebody was tugging at my hammock. By 
 Jove ! we had STRUCK: A man who has felt that sensation, 
 that peculiar electric vibration which a ship gives at that 
 moment, will not readily forget it. l Hands save ship? a 
 voice bawled out close to my ear ; one spring into my trou- 
 sers and jacket, and I was up. The watch below were 
 crowding to the forecastle ladder, and in that press, ' O 
 Lord ! where's Mr. Bluffett ?' was again heard from a wag. 
 The ship had heeled over, and there she lay, head on to a 
 black-looking coast, and thump, thumping as the sea 
 rolled in. 
 
 Hackles was giving orders when I got to the quarter- 
 deck ; but Pappleton was in an abject condition as well 
 the poor fellow might be, with Mrs. Pappleton to look 
 after. She, however, proved the trump of the occasion, 
 for she girded herself up to meet it ; and while P. was yel- 
 low, and in that confounded state of indecision, which is 
 
90 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 his habitual plight, she backed up Hackles with might and 
 main, and urged him on. But the * Bloater ' will never 
 swim again I" 
 
 Forbessy paused for breath, and just as he did so, the 
 head of a quartermaster showed itself inside the gun-room 
 door. " Mr. Forbessy, sir, the Commander wants you." 
 Up jumped Forbessy, and when he reached that oflicer, 
 found that he was required to attend instanter at the Admi- 
 ral's, to be ready to answer any questions about the 
 " Bloater" which might be put to him. 
 
 " This is a very serious business, sir," says the Com- 
 mander, shaking his head. 
 
 Indeed, it was so. The service had lost a corvette, 
 and and the devil of it was that a relation of the Admi- 
 ral's commanded her ! I tremble for Bluffett, the master, 
 though 1 
 
 CHAPTER IY. 
 
 FORBESSY paces along the street, en route to the Admi- 
 rals. You have had a glimpse of him before, I think ? 
 He is tall, has a lounging walk rather, and a somewhat 
 careless, if not absent, manner in ordinary ; but gather up 
 those cords of manhood when OCCASION comes, and you 
 have a sinewy force of a man ! A certain easy refinement 
 hangs loose about him, and is not less effective for being 
 unconscious. He has the Northern head, and Northern 
 eyes of gray blue such as you may see (planted on a body 
 well able to take care of the same) any day that you 
 choose to ramble among the hills and dales of the Nith, or 
 in the valleys of Cumberland. He has, likewise, an under- 
 lying seriousness, (not of the tract species, but human and 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 91 
 
 natural,) becoming a man who wishes to do something in 
 the world, and in an age which seems inclined to break 
 loose from all hereditary and traditional ideas to preserve, 
 at all events, a vigorous personality. 
 
 Forbessy gained the house. The brilliant Koribel re- 
 ceived him, and showed him into a waiting-room justly so 
 called, as he presently found. Nobody, of course, had any 
 attentions to show to our friend, who was scarcely known 
 in the squadron or the island a mere midshipman of the 
 11 Bloater," in fact ! The door opened, and a servant 
 looked in, and went out again ; came in once more and 
 locked up something the Marsala perhaps ! Half-an-hour 
 afterwards, a cat began to scratch at the outside of the 
 door, which was, at least, an incident. A quarter of an 
 hour passed, and a light laugh was heard on the stair, of 
 which his imagination might make the most. Then Miss 
 Wyoming and a sister came in with a mighty jingling of 
 keys, and taking no more notice of our friend than if he 
 had been an arm-chair, retreated again with the aforesaid 
 Marsala a fact which, combined with the distant odor of 
 roast mutton, seemed to show that it was now dinner time. 
 At last, Roribel bounced in suddenly, "This way, Mr.," 
 (he had forgotten the name already,) and Forbessy was 
 shown in to the Admiral, who was poring with aged eyes 
 over papers. 
 
 "Thit down, thir." 
 
 Forbessy sat down, while the old man stared at the pa- 
 per, and in a few moments, "Tho, it theems, the 'Bloater' 
 ith lost ? Sthand up, thir I" 
 
 Forbessy stood up. 
 
 " How did you leave them ?" Forbessy replied. 
 
 " Who wath in charge of the watch when she struck ? 
 You, thir ?" 
 
 " JSTo, Sir B " and he told him. It was one of " the 
 
92 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Family," unfortunately. I wonder if the Admiral wished 
 it had been Forbessy ? 
 
 " Hem." The Admiral fumbled a little with the papers, 
 turned his faint and dim eyes up and rubbed them, asked 
 another question or two, and dismissed Mr. Forbessy, who 
 was to be borne on the books of the " Sovereign," till Cap- 
 tain Pappleton and his gallant crew arrived in Malta for 
 trial. Thus was Forbessy brought within Fitz-Gubin's 
 sphere of action, but for which circumstance the public 
 might never have heard of the career of that great aris- 
 tocrat. 
 
 ****** 
 
 Fitz-Gubin was now recovered from the effects of his 
 accident, and showed himself (one often wondered why he 
 made no charge for the exhibition) on deck, and on shore, 
 in his usual health. His head-quarters on shore continued 
 to be the Mitre, and there, if he was not inclined to go off 
 to dinner, he dined. He had a running account at the 
 Mitre. He had a running account with Squirrel for horses. 
 He played a good deal at billiards. He also played a good 
 deal at the Cafe Yerdanti : not at your absurd and stupid 
 dominoes, but, up stairs, in the room in the private room, 
 in fact, where only a select party assembled, and where 
 there was some excitement to be had. Roribel and others 
 met others, and it was four in the morning before they 
 supped and broke up, so that Fitz-Gubin sometimes reached 
 the " Sovereign," just as the hands were turned up, to exer- 
 cise loosing sails. On these occasions, he popped on blanket 
 trousers, a jacket, and cap, and attended to his duty ; 
 sleeping all day afterwards as you may easily believe. The 
 advantage of sleeping all day obviously is, that you are 
 lively at night time ; and thus, when the excellent cuisine 
 of the gun-room had set him up, he was just in the humor 
 to go on shore again. There was a good deal of luxury 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 93 
 
 and idleness going on about this time ; and several times 
 had the Admiral launched " general orders" on the subject. 
 These compositions are the " Bulls" of the navy. They 
 were favorite compositions with the Admiral, who, in the 
 consciousness of great literary talent, (arid upon my word 
 any literary man might envy an author who had the power 
 to make people read him !) always proluded at great length, 
 and with a magnificence of language worthy of a better 
 cause. To be sure his eloquence was a trifle wasted on 
 some fellows, but what can you expect ? Here, the mess 
 are lounging about the gun-room in the forenoon. Looking 
 through the stern port, Clare observes answering pendants 
 flying up, and knows the " Sovereign" is signalling. Pres- 
 ently boats shoot out from under the great sides of the line- 
 of-battle ships, and midshipmen come on board to copy a 
 
 GENERAL ORDER. 
 
 " The maintenance of that unsullied excellence of disci- 
 pline, which, whatever form it may assume, is the chief cha- 
 racteristic of advanced perfection in a squadron of His 
 Majesty's ships, is not compatible with a high scale of per- 
 sonal extravagance on the part of junior officers. 
 
 "The Commander-in-Chief, Sir B. B., K.C.T, G.G.H., 
 has observed with regret, that this salutary knowledge if 
 that can be called knowledge, which is obviously imperfectly 
 apprehended by those whom it most behooves to know it 
 is not diffused in the squadron under his command, or if 
 diffused, has not penetrated to the consciousness of officers, 
 or if it has penetrated to the consciousness, has not yet 
 availed to govern the conduct of officers ; he therefore is 
 compelled again to address some observations on this impor- 
 tant subject to the officers under his command. 
 
 "The Commander-in-Chief, Sir B.B., K.C.T., G.G.H., 
 therefore proceeds to propound " 
 
94 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 But, bless you, our venerable friend could go on in this 
 style to any extent, as might be proved, did we choose to 
 avail ourselves of a collection of his documents very 
 kindly placed at our disposal by a butterman. Suffice it, 
 that the old gentleman made various efforts to control the 
 exuberance of the youth under his command with what 
 success people acquainted with the subject know. 
 
 One of these great lucubrations reached the " Sovereign" 
 one day about noon from the Admiral's office, and with it a 
 private note from Roribel to Fitz-Gubin, of very elegant 
 appearance, and perfumed, so that it justly excited the 
 scorn of Bung, whom Cuckles sent below with it, and from 
 whom Fitz-Gubin received it. His formal "Thank you, 
 Mr. Bung," made Bung secretly writhe ; but we must not 
 be detained by Bung, who, indeed, has returned to the 
 main-deck, to see the spirits served out, as becomes his 
 rank. 
 
 " DEAR FITZ-GUBIN It is complained that you never call 
 here, and you know what Chesterfield says* ' Women 
 make no allowance for business or laziness.' I think this 
 fine day ought to tempt you ; we can have a ride, after- 
 wards, somewhere ; and unless you are in a hurry ' off ' at 
 night, we can give Pump his revenge. Bolus is boring 
 the dock-yard people, so don't be afraid of him. Ever, 
 
 " R. R." 
 
 Fitz-Gubin seemed to approve of the suggestion, for he 
 was seen, half-an-hour afterwards, strolling along the Strada 
 Reale. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin was one of those fellows who are never, what 
 you might really and truly call, intimate with anybody not 
 even .with a mistress. Any decent intimacy of heart and 
 
 * Fitz-Gubin did not know that Chesterfield had made that remark 
 but Eoribel knew it would please him to be thought to know it. ED. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 95 
 
 cordiality was unknown to his nature ; but for all that he 
 could be friendly and easy enough. To please himself, he 
 could be handsomely liberal at times ; and if he sometimes 
 took even elaborate pains to win a pretty girl, whom, after 
 all, he had nothing worthy the name of a passion for, he 
 could be generous and lavish of everything but heart ! He 
 was cold ; but then there are different sorts of coldness. 
 The coldness of marble one can admire ; but there is a 
 coldness which affects others with dulness, while the being 
 itself has a liveliness and warmth for its own purposes. 
 The eel is cold ; but how active its vital principle how it 
 can enjoy its mud. 
 
 I know not why I broke into this paragraph so suddenly ; 
 but it may be useful ; let it stand. Yet, do not fancy that 
 I would have you picture young Fitz-Gubin as one of your 
 absurd, unnatural abstractions of calculating coldness, only ; 
 his look might, perhaps, make you think better of him 
 than my words have. Here he is there is a fresh, soft 
 look about him, and his big blue eyes seem harmless, as he 
 knocks at the Admiral's door. 
 
 Miss Wyoming was glad to see him looking well, still, 
 and so was Adeline Wyoming, who had a most innocent 
 admiration of aristocracy, and thought that every "lord" 
 was necessarily the direct descendant of William the Con- 
 queror. And so both chatted away, of course not forget- 
 ting the poor old " Bloater." 
 
 " So provoking," said Miss Wyoming. 
 " I always thought Mrs. Pappleton could have saved the 
 ship if needful," said Adeline, with facetiousness. " But 
 she must have been sleeping on the watch, as, I hear, all 
 you sailors do." 
 
 " That depends on whether we have anybody to think 
 of," said the polite Roribel, who, by-the-by, thought of 
 very few people indeed. They said that he was attached to 
 
96 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Miss Wyoming, and then that it was to Adeline, and then 
 that it was to Lilias, but nobody knew ; and Roribel loved 
 himself better than all three put together. 
 
 " I wish people would not lose ships," said Miss Wyo- 
 ming ; " it puts uncle out so much. I am sure these horrid 
 Courts-Martial might be done without, if people would take 
 care. Everything would go on happily, and poor Captain 
 Pappleton is invaluable at a pic-nic." 
 
 " He is the best mixer of salads I know," said Roribel, 
 deliberately. 
 
 " He is a kind of relation of ours," Adeline remarks. 
 (He was indeed.) "A most good-natured man, Lord Fitz- 
 Gubin. Pm afraid he'll be reprimanded. So unpleasant " 
 
 "If it doesn't all turn out to be the master's fault," said 
 Roribel, good-naturedly, and withdrew on business. So the 
 conversation ran on, on other topics, among the three. 
 
 " I hope your sister is very well ?" Fitz-Gubin, recollect- 
 ing that there was one absent, suddenly said. 
 
 Miss Wyoming looked a little serious. " Lilias is em- 
 ployed on a little task of duty to-day. * By-the-by, Adeline 
 dear, perhaps she is tired, and would like some lunch." 
 
 "You know we endeavor to aid, as far as we can, our 
 friend, Mr. Fatton, in his endeavors to enlighten the poor 
 people here. We ought not to spare any trouble in such a 
 task, and I am sure this poor beautiful child 
 
 The door opened, and Lilias Wyoming came briskly in, 
 all unconscious of a visitor, accompanied by MARIE ! 
 
 The color came very suddenly to our friend Fitz-Gubin's 
 face this time, you may be sure. " Bless me, Lil ," Miss 
 Wyoming was going to have exclaimed, but she checked 
 herself, and, rising up, with the best air of ladylike superi- 
 ority and Christian patronage, she said to Marie, in Italian, 
 " I hope you are well, child, and have attended to Lilias. 
 This is our little protegee, Lord Fitz-Gubin !" 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 9t 
 
 Marie's large and solemn dark eyes lighted full upon him, 
 and Fitz-Gubin bowed. He wondered whether she remem- 
 bered him. He was silent, and Marie, with an inclination 
 of her head, looked very simply up, and said, " I have seen 
 you, Signor, before. Are you well now ?" 
 
 "What?" says Miss Wyoming, looking no little sur- 
 prised. 
 
 " Oh, I can explain that," Fitz-Gubin said. " I thought 
 I remembered the face ! The day of my accident, you know, 
 Miss Wyoming, I was ill, and, passing near your friend's 
 house at least, I suppose it is her house I asked for water, 
 and and she. brought it 1" 
 
 Marie stood and looked at him, and said nothing keep- 
 ing her quiet magnetic eyes on his face, 
 
 "Ah," said Miss Wyoming, slowly ; and in a moment 
 young Marie was spirited away by the other sisters. Upon 
 which Fitz-Gubin began to talk, with great vivacity, on the 
 subject interrupted by her arrival, to convince Miss Wyo- 
 ming he was no way startled by the incident ; and having 
 prolonged his visit to the furthest verge of politeness, he 
 took his leave. 
 
 " What a pretty girl she is, to be sure !" he soliloquized 
 as he strolled along. " I only saw her by moonlight, but 
 she's quite as lovely by daylight too. And what an inno- 
 cent goose to say she had seen me before there ! But it was 
 knowing of her, to say nothing when I gave my version of 
 the business, too. She's a little knowing devil, I believe, 
 after all. 'Gad, that is it ! I never took such a fancy to 
 a girl." 
 
 After this fashion mused Fitz-Gubin, till he almost 
 tumbled against Riddel, who was sauntering along the 
 street. 
 
 "Why, you ? re in a brown study," said Riddel. (He might 
 have said ? more accurately, a Hack one ! ) 
 
 
 
98 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 "So I was, indeed/' They joined arms, and walked on 
 together. 
 
 " That's a pretty ring of yours, Riddel ; where did you 
 buy it r 
 
 11 Oh ! in Malta here at Greenstone's." 
 
 " I wish you would introduce me." 
 
 "With the greatest pleasure, let us go at once I" 
 
 Mr. Greenstone had, not very long before, opened a jew- 
 elry establishment, and he had a highly promising business. 
 He was the most enterprising of tradesmen ; he added a 
 charm to his gems by the way in which he handled them to 
 show them, and would have laughed at the notion of ready 
 money. Mr. Greenstone was much encouraged in Malta ! 
 
 When Mr. Greenstone found that Lord Fitz-Gubin, of 
 the " Sovereign," was the gentleman who proposed to glance 
 over his collection, he glided about like a gnome in a mine. 
 Gold, and silver, and jewels, and that fine filagree, which is 
 as delicate as hoar-frost, fell under happy lights, and glit- 
 tered like live things. Fitz-Gubin and Riddel peered, and 
 admired, and compared. Riddel's taste was gross rather ; 
 he loved much gold work, and bore sometimes in front of 
 him an elaborate barbarism representing a battle-axe 
 grasped by a mailed hand. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin selected for himself a ring, and then seemed 
 doubtful what to do. He fidgetted and paused : but 
 presently Riddel happened to go to the door. 
 
 " Mr. Greenstone," said Fitz-Gubin, "send that bracelet 
 to me at the Mitre Hotel, early to-morrow." He moved to 
 the door. " Ready, Riddel." " All right." " Come along 
 then." And away they went ; Riddel remaining ignorant 
 of the purchase which his friend had just made, aud to make 
 which was the object of that gentleman's visit. This was 
 iust his mysterious way. In South America, men who 
 thought him an ordinary rone, were surprised to find out 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 99 
 
 every now and then, that he had been carrying on an under- 
 current of plot : he got wounded ; or a consul came on 
 board storming with a complaint ; or an anonymous letter 
 threw his captain into fits ; or he lost five times what he 
 could afford at play, and the " family," as usual, had to do 
 something. Yet happen what might, he was ever, out- 
 wardly, the same indifferent, every-day, mawkish Fitz-Gubin, 
 and carried into the scenery of romance the person of an 
 every-day worldling. He sought beauty as pertinaciously 
 as a caterpillar does flowers, and with scarcely a finer feel- 
 ing than its dull greed. But enough of description for the 
 present. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin, then, and Riddel having dined, proceeded to 
 the opera and stationed themselves in the pit. Up rose the 
 curtain on the eternal old mediaeval castle of the establish- 
 ment, and enter the Baron in the same court-dress obviously 
 worn by his ancestor in the thirty years' war ! The second 
 act was wearing away, when Fitz-Gubin gave a start, and 
 muttered something. Riddel turned to see what was the 
 matter. 
 
 " Why, Riddel, do you see that d d huntsman in the 
 
 green coat !" 
 
 " I do." 
 
 "That's the scoundrel that I told you of, who was so 
 insolent that night." 
 
 " Is it ?" says Riddel, with -animation. " Bravo. Now 
 I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go out and raise the fel- 
 lows in the cafes, and by the toe of St. Peter, we'll duck 
 him ! We'll pin him at the stage door, and bring him 
 off!" 
 
 " Hush, man ! no, no I Everything will come out. Sit 
 down, Riddel, do !" 
 
 With an ill grace Riddel (who had a superfluous amount 
 of champagne in his veins) composed himself. The truth 
 
100 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 was, that Fitz-Gubin instantly divined that Marie might be 
 in the house. He turned cautiously round, and everywhere 
 sought the dark eyes the eyes compared with which, Fitz- 
 Gubin, thy soul was dull ! From box to box from row to 
 row, his vague, eager look went. Yet he missed one face he 
 knew. Miss Wyoming was there, and saw him ; and she 
 watched him, too, and had thought of the scene with Marie, 
 and of the possible interpretations of it, oftener than he 
 imagined. As soon as she saw his inquiring look, she took 
 care to avoid it, and keep back, but not without a watch 
 upon him. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin again turned to the play, but disappointed. 
 The music rolled over him like mere meaningless noise. He 
 looked with a calm, dull hate and scorn at the Maltese who 
 had brought the wound upon him, and thought that the 
 beautiful Marie could never surely love that poor beast ! 
 
 Meanwhile, Mr. Riddel, of whom a fixed idea had taken 
 possession, (and the tenacity of one idea is a common phe- 
 nomenon among the results of too much wine,) had glided 
 away from Fitz-Gubin's side. He passed quietly through 
 the pit, and when he saw a man he knew, he telegraphed 
 him to come out. Forbessy, who was sitting by himself in 
 a corner, unobserved, saw individuals here and there whose 
 faces he knew as naval men, stealing away to the doors. 
 But Forbessy was entranced by an object which he had 
 just seen a quarter of an hour before, and that object was 
 one that long afterwards recurred to his vision among the 
 soul-and-body-oppressing heats of African Bights, and else- 
 where. The dull vision of Fitz-Gubin had passed over 
 Marie, after all. Forbessy was near her, and if ever acci- 
 dent but let a glimpse of her face be seen, his eyes lighted 
 upon it, and watched it with the most perfect admiration 
 which a face had ever excited in him. Yague sadness and 
 still worship took possession of him, and he lingered, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 101 
 
 resolved to know who could be so beautiful in that dull 
 place, where his heart had no home. 
 
 The opera was over, and there was a great rush and 
 crowd in the narrow street, where caleches were crowding 
 to the doors, and people swarming out. Mr. Riddel had 
 been seen during the past half hour at Mula's, at Micallef 7 s, 
 at Ricardo's ; and a whisper had gone abroad that a 
 "lark" was in preparation. A party had gathered under 
 his auspices, and was gathered together near the scene of 
 action. 
 
 " Miss Wyoming's carriage!" bawls out a servant, and 
 off rumbles the caUche of the Admiral. "Sir John Sum- 
 per's carriage !" "This way, Sir John." "Good night! 
 Home!" Next carriage doors slammed. "Out of the 
 way, Smytch, d n you!" " Beg pardon, sar /" "Drive 
 on !" Such was the Babel of sounds with which the little 
 opera emptied itself ; and, amidst the confusion, Riddel and 
 his party had assembled rather lower down the street. 
 
 Out of the press, in deepest mantilla, shrouded, passed a 
 figure which Forbessy had already learned to know ; and 
 Marie, with quick, small steps, moved away along the street. 
 11 Shall I follow her?" he thought. "I have no right to 
 follow her ! No ! I won't destroy the picture she has left 
 in my imagination, by knowing anything of her but that 
 she is perfectly fair." 
 
 But before she was out of sight, she paused and stood 
 still. 
 
 " Somebody is to take her home," Forbessy thought. 
 "Poor child ! Her father, I hope. I would not like to 
 know that she had a lover. I will pass by her, and see her 
 face once more !" 
 
 The crowd was now thin, and the street becoming de- 
 serted. RiddcPs eye was on all doors. Out came a Mal- 
 tese from one. 
 
102 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 "Hah I" says Riddel, "I know his face ! Good Szgnor 
 Smytch, a word with yon," says Riddel to the young 
 Maltese. 
 
 "With me! What you want with me ?" 
 
 "Why," says Riddel, mimicking him with the most 
 intense contempt, "I want duck you ford d impudence to 
 English officer some weeks ago ! You and your friend hurt 
 English officer ; we go duck you I" 
 
 With a waive of the hand, out came a knife. Riddel 
 rushed at him, and seized his arm with a gripe of iron ; 
 with his other hand he seized him by the throat, and 
 squeezed him ; the Maltese's struggles were awful ! Down 
 came the knife on the pavement with a ring. "Bravo!" 
 was the cry. Riddel kicked away the knife with his foot, 
 and a moment afterwards, down they both went, Riddel 
 uppermost. " Police !" was called out ; windows flew open ; 
 rattles were sprung. 
 
 "Now I've got him !" Riddel muttered. " Give us the 
 lashing." 
 
 In a few instants of fiery excitement they bound and 
 gagged the unfortunate fellow. He was Tioisted aloft by 
 the determined band, who carried him bodily, along un- 
 frequented streets, to the harbor, and to a boat. 
 
 It is not, I trust, without a due feeling of indigna- 
 tion that I record the fact, that the breaking light of the 
 next morning found that Maltese exposed on the fair-way 
 buoy ! 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 103 
 
 CHAPTER Y. 
 
 CUCKLES, the artful and worldly, came on deck next 
 morning early, and set the crew to work at the holyston- 
 ing and other processes in good time. For that useful 
 mate had not been on shore, or dissipating the previous 
 evening. He had taken a weak glass of Marsala and 
 water, with his cigar, on the main deck (edging in his 
 chair, unobtrusively and modestly, near the lieutenant's 
 smoking party, so that he was asked to join them, and did 
 his best to be agreeable) after which he got his desk out 
 and pottered over his accounts till half-past ten, when he 
 went to bed, cool, calm, and with a conscience at rest He 
 was not a rake, nor a spendthrift, nor any such bad man ; 
 but was only a hypocrite, and toady, and worldling, and 
 schemer, and very much respected ! 
 
 Cuckles walks about the deck, while the sleepy fellows 
 huddle up the hatchways with their hammocks. The gray 
 morning fills the harbor with its gradual light, and the 
 houses of Yaletta loom through it, looking gray too. 
 
 The quartermaster steady Marshall turns his glass on 
 objects far and wide, and has never his eyes away for many 
 minutes from the flag-staff of the palace. An object 
 attracts that glass towards the harbor's mouth and 
 again and once again. 
 
 Marshall glided down the starboard poop-ladder as quickly 
 and quietly as the fairy in a burlesque what man moves 
 like a sailor ? He reached Mr. Cuckles' side. " Mr. 
 Cuckles, sir. Fair-way buoy, sir ! Man on it, I think 1" 
 
 Cuckles took the glass from him, without speaking; 
 looked, and said, "Yes, there is. Call away the first cut- 
 ter ; and Marshall go for Mr. Leslie Clare." 
 
104 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 Away went the quartermaster. The youngsters who 
 were puddling about the deck, barefooted, (at the express 
 command of Commander Mutter, a sworn foe to goloshes 
 on youngsters,) brightened up at the excitement of the 
 news. In fire minutes the blanket trowsers of Leslie Clare, 
 Esq., appeared on deck, that young gentleman looking very 
 sleepy and glossy, having beeu just disturbed in a dream, 
 in which partridge shooting and lunch were the principal 
 features. Clare and Cuckles never wasted words on each 
 other ; and Clare simply marched into his boat to obey 
 orders. " Take that man off the buoy, and land him," said 
 Cuckles ; and Clare shoved off to do it. 
 
 " Give way," said Clare, and off started the boat. 
 
 Here was a spectacle I The cutter's crew were tittering, 
 fore and aft, as they drew near the buoy. It bobbed up 
 and down in the water, and astride on it, with a leg on 
 each side of the huge ring and lashed to that ring was 
 the unfortunate Maltese. The paleness of the night's rage 
 and watching was visible through the brown tints of his 
 face ; his black eyes were glittering with fire. The cutter 
 circled round, and presently sided on to the buoy. 
 
 " Why, how the devil did you get here ?" said Clare, who 
 had been on board all the evening, and knew nothing of its 
 events. The Maltese made no answer ; fumbled in his side 
 a minute. 
 
 " Take care, sir," said the coxswain ; " he's feeling for a 
 knife !" 
 
 Clare's hand fell on his sword hilt " Is he ?" said he 
 but he took it away again, as the Maltese raised his empty, 
 for we know how he had lost his knife. 
 
 " Come, jump in," said Clare, who was a good-natured fel- 
 low, and pitied the unfortunate man's plight. Not one word 
 came from the Maltese. The men cast him loose, he came 
 into the boat, and still he never spoke. The boat steered 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 105 
 
 to the usual landing-place, and there Clare landed him ; 
 keeping dead silence, and preserving the same, as, without 
 bow or ceremony of any sort, he sprang upon his native 
 rock and strode away. 
 
 " There's murder in that chap's eyes, sir, or Pm a liar," 
 said the coxswain, from his perch behind, taking off his hat, 
 and getting a " chew" out of it. 
 
 " I dare say/' said Clare, and the boat shot along 
 towards the " Sovereign." 
 
 " Landed the man," said Clare to Cuckles, briefly, when 
 he got on deck. 
 
 " Yery well," replied Cuckles. On which Clare returned 
 to the cockpit to finish his sleep, and Cuckles proceeded 
 with the morning's work, the monotony of which he relieved 
 by sending a youngster to the mizen-top, barefooted, (to 
 make him hardy,) and by caning a second-class boy. 
 Easy, gentlemanly employments, congenial to Cuckles' 
 mind, and the practice of which had gained him some 
 repute as a "disciplinarian." For there are grades in 
 disciplinarianism, as in everything else ; and links to be 
 traced as, from a Bacon to a baboon, so from a Sir 
 Charles Napier to a Cuckles, or a beadle. 
 
 It was observed in the cockpit of the " Sovereign," at 
 dressing time that morning, that there was an unusual de- 
 mand for soda water ; and Bung complained of the peril in 
 which he was placed by the flying corks. Stories were 
 afloat about the adventures of the previous evening about 
 serenades astern of various ships in harbor, and suppers at 
 Joe's ; and several gentlemen were observed to be sunk in 
 languor at breakfast time, and there was a frequent request 
 for something devilled at that meal. On such mornings 
 there is a coolness about a yellow melon which cannot be 
 too highly praised, and more than one fellow was up to his 
 ears in a huge slice of that fruit, which was going to " great 
 5* 
 
106 SW'ELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 lengths," you will admit ! Presently Cackles descends to 
 his morning meal. 
 
 " Rasper," says Cuckles, " my omelette sharp." And 
 down he sits. 
 
 " Omelette ?" says Fitz-Gubin, speaking for the first time 
 that morning ; " I'd like an omelette 1" 
 
 " I fear," says the faithful Rasper, " there wasn't only 
 heggs enough for the one you ordered, Mr. Cuckles, sir." 
 
 Cuckles had ordered that omelette over night ; the thought 
 of it had cheered his morning watch : he felt a tremor run 
 through him ; could he should he offer it to Fitz-Gubin ? 
 Fitz-Gubin maintained a dead silence, as much as to imply, 
 " Here am I, wanting an omelette ; let an omelette be 
 brought. What the deuce is to become of English Institu- 
 tions, if I can't get an omelette ?" 
 
 " Oh," says Cuckles, with a grin which looked damnably 
 uneasy to a knowing eye " have mine, Lord Fitz-Gubin, I 
 don't care about it !" 
 
 " Eh ? You're very good, really," Fitz-Gubin replies, in 
 a cold-blooded, matter-of-fact manner. " As you don't 
 care about it, why " 
 
 " You don't mind garlic, of course," said Cuckles. 
 
 " Oh, d n it ; I hate garlic, like poison. Never mind, 
 thank you, Cuckles." 
 
 Rasper showed signs of being about to interpose a remark, 
 but Cuckles' eye checked him. He brought the dish, and 
 Cuckles devoured it though, between ourselves, it was as 
 perfectly free from garlic as the veins of Fitz-Gubin from 
 the blood of the gentleman of Picardy. By such little 
 strokes of ready cunning as this, Cuckles somewhat justified 
 a belief which he entertained of his diplomatic talents. He 
 deserved to enjoy the dish, and apparently he did so, for no 
 word did he utter until his plate was clear. Then, he open- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 107 
 
 ed the subject of tha Maltese who had been found on the 
 fair-way buoy. 
 
 " Fair-way buoy," said Fitz-Gubin, spreading marmalade 
 slowly. " Was there a cad on the fair- way buoy ?" 
 
 " Yes," Cuckles answered, looking over at him to see if 
 he was only pretending ignorance, and ready to give a pleas- 
 ant leer should such prove to be the case. But Fitz-Gubin 
 was quite serious. 
 
 " Rather a cool berth for a cad," said Fitz-Gubin. " Did 
 he appear to enjoy it ?" 
 
 " I can tell you about that," said Leslie Clare, from the 
 lockers. " He looked, when I cast him off and landed him, 
 as if he'd like to cut my throat. He's a black fellow with 
 a mark over his eyebrow ; it's my opinion he'll lie in wait 
 some night for some of us, and will cut our throats." 
 
 Fitz-Gubin looked grave. " Why, Riddel, is it our 
 friend of the opera ?" 
 
 " I'm afraid it is," answered Riddel. " Serve him right, 
 too." 
 
 " But," said Fitz-Gubin, " did you not feel you might 
 compromise met" 
 
 Fitz-Gubin rose in a dignified manner after he had uttered 
 this characteristic speech, and left the gun-room. Riddel 
 had a head-ache, and lay down on the lockers without mak- 
 ing any remark ; Cuckles assumed a serious air ; Siddlingtou 
 whispered to Beaulieu that " he thought Lord Fitz-Gubin 
 took too serious a view of the matter" like the polite 
 fellow that he was ; old Manton, who had just taken down 
 a battered old cocked-hat box (in which he kept his cigars) 
 from the place where it lodged, immediately began 
 
 " Well, I'm d d ; I don't think discipline can last in this 
 squadron. I don't see how ! When I entered the service, 
 a youngster would have been flogged for half the tricks 
 
108 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 v 
 
 there has been played in this harbor within the last three 
 weeks." And so he ran on for a few minutes, more, suo, to 
 the general amusement, till he had run himself out. I have 
 known stagers of the old school, who were both wise men 
 and good examples, and proper givers of advice ; but there 
 are others who differ from the moderns just as an old Dutch 
 clock does from a new watch make more noise in telling 
 you the time of day, but keep it no better than the last 
 dandy invention. 
 
 At noon, or not long after, down came a midshipman 
 from Commander Mutter, with a bit of news and a message. 
 " Commander wants the names of all the fellows who were 
 on shore last night, and the time they came on board !" 
 What a sensation ! 
 
 " When, the deuce, did he give the order V said Beau- 
 lieu. 
 
 "This minute. The information's required from every 
 ship in the harbor," said the midshipman. 
 
 " That means mischief," remarked Riddel. " I see Sir 
 B 'a hand in that suggestion. Well, put down Riddel, 
 Esq., Two A. M." 
 
 " It was nearer Three, I fear," said Beaulieu. 
 
 " Was it ? Why, what time was it when we had the 
 brandy after floating the smytch ?" 
 
 " Why, not much after One ! But you forget we had a 
 game of billiards after that. And then, you know, we 
 knocked up Joe Sprogaleff, and his wife put her head out 
 of the window ; and we went to BoyetrePs, and they 
 wouldn't let us in, and you kicked the door in, and refused 
 to leave the house till they brought some supper " 
 
 Riddel groaned. 
 
 " And the waiter came in with a ham and some bread 
 and butter, and you would have a bottle of champagne and 
 a lobster, and Boyetrel was going to send for the police, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 109 
 
 and you made him sit down, and we wouldn't leave till they 
 brought some more brandy. Then you wanted a cigar, and, 
 don't you remember, we met Wallop, of the Jupiter, and 
 he was drunk, and wanted to fight the marker at Mula's ; 
 and you went into a police-office to get a light, and insisted 
 on being locked up, till we dragged you away ; " 
 
 Riddel gave another piteous groan. 
 
 " Whereupon, Wallop began a song about a cavalier, and 
 we all came down to the harbor, without serenading Ricks, 
 as you finally proposed." 
 
 " Riddel, Esq., Four A. M., I fear must be the entry," 
 said Riddel. 
 
 The midshipman wrote it down, and added the names of 
 Beaulieu, Corbieton, and others. " Anybody else ?" 
 
 " Yes," said Forbessy, " I must be put down." 
 
 " Why, Forbessy, this is the first time I've heard your 
 voice this morning." 
 
 " So it is," said Forbessy ; " I am dull, I suppose." 
 
 " Anybody else ?" was once more asked, after the entry 
 of Forbessy's name and hour. At that moment Fitz-Grubin 
 entered, and was informed of the inquiry in progress. He 
 seemed rather annoyed ; and the mess were surprised as he 
 dictated " Lord Fitz-Gubin, Five A. M." 
 
 Why did Forbessy feel chilled as he happened to look up 
 at the speaker ? Who knows ? Have you ever felt in the 
 presence of a man that he had an element in him which was 
 repugnant to your spiritual nature ? He is a dunce, per- 
 haps, but his .sneer will wound you. He has a disagreeable 
 relation to you you don't know how. Out of some such 
 sentiment came the notion of the evil eye, of the evil genius, 
 of the fascination of witchcraft. You can call it, if you 
 please, a " natural antipathy," but you do not explain it. A 
 touch of this ran through Forbessy at that moment, and he 
 thought, as he looked at Fitz-Gubin. Was it your cold, hoi- 
 
110 SWELL-LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 low voice that startled me only ? Why do I shrink from 
 it ? Or what, in the name of mystery, is the destiny that 
 binds together you and me ? 
 
 Fitz-Gubin's announcement, I say, surprised those who 
 remembered that he had not joined the party of the previous 
 night. They were, indeed, beginning to find out that he 
 was not a very communicative fellow. Here, indeed, was 
 a man who lived with you, was familiar with you, and the 
 rest of it, and who carried his heart locked up, and the key 
 in his pocket ; who travelled in your company in life, (as an 
 iceberg travels in company with a ship, ) yet would part with 
 you for ever to-morrow with a nod and a good bye ! You 
 wondered what the deuce his notions about existence were, 
 or his object in life at all. But, to be sure, what business 
 on earth many men have might puzzle us ; they dress, and 
 dine, and die, and never seem to think it odd that they 
 should exist for these purposes. 
 
 The midshipman wrote down the entry, which showed 
 Fitz-Gubin to have been the latest of all arrivals on the 
 previous night ; Riddel turned round on the lockers, and 
 composed himself to sleep ; Forbessy leaned back in his 
 chair, and mused. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin turned languidly over the pages of a novel 
 seeming to think it strange that nobody did anything to 
 amuse him. Then he strolled out, and proceeded to the 
 cock-pit to dress himself ; for he ceremoniously went through 
 the various toilettes of the day, and soon a yellow glare in 
 the fore-part of that place showed that he was busy. 
 Commander Mutter observed that Fitz-Gubin did not ask 
 leave to go on shore, till he had dressed himself for that 
 purpose ; whereas it would have been a little more modest 
 to have postponed his adornment, and not to have looked 
 quite so confident of obtaining permission. This might 
 have irritated a less Christian mind than that of Mutter, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. Ill 
 
 but be remembered " what St. Paul had said," (to use a 
 favorite expression of his,) and did not altogether forget 
 the last edition of the Peerage. 
 
 When Fitz-Gubin reached the Mitre Hotel, where, as we 
 know, he had his head-quarters on shore, (and where notes 
 were left for him from Roribel, from his tradesmen, from 
 fellows in the regiments, &c.,) he had a neat little parcel 
 handed to him by the polite and dignified landlord. 
 
 The landlord was one who boasted that he had an eye 
 for a gentleman, or indeed " know'd a gentleman when he 
 see'd him," if you prefer his own expression. A gentleman 
 in fact (whose steward he had been) had placed Sproggs in 
 the Mitre endowing him with a wife, by way of further 
 kindness, and (you don't know how people talk in places 
 like Malta) with a child to begin with ! Mrs. Sproggs 
 was a buxom, dressy, lively mortal, who never allowed her 
 husband to show himself too much, justly believing that she 
 was far more likely to be agreeable to strangers than he 
 was. But to-day she was out, and it was Sproggs himself 
 who gave to Fitz-Gubin the parcel, which (we know before 
 he opens it) contained the bracelet from Mr, Greenstone. 
 Sproggs had pried into it, and afterwards told a friend he 
 knew " what Lord Alfred was after," and remarked what a 
 sly gentleman he was. 
 
 As he opened it, the light broke from the magic stones ; 
 he had none but a sensual feeling for the beautiful, but that 
 he had keenly, and he was pleased with the glitter. How 
 the bracelet would become Marie's arm I If he could only 
 get an opportunity of putting it on ? Or should he send 
 it, and whom could he employ ? Who was this knave of 
 the opera ? Would it not be as well to buy him out of 
 hand, and not have a ridiculous controversy with him ? If 
 that man could have been I don't say murdered before 
 Fitz-Gubin's eyes in any cruel manner but sunk into fifty 
 
112 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 fathoms water with 68 pounders, quietly and effectually 
 he, Fitz-G., not seeing it, and no questions asked, he would 
 have decidedly liked it authorized it. Men's hearts are 
 as bad as ever they were, as anybody ought to know from 
 his own ; we are more effeminate than our ancestors, and 
 bloodshed shocks our nerves more ! but that is all. What 
 matters it that your skin is a little thinner ? Just reflect a 
 moment, good reader ; Claudius does not carry off his 
 tradesman's daughter by force now but bless you, he tells 
 her lies, and gives her jewelry, and a brougham, and a 
 box at the theatre, and gets old Yirginius a place in the 
 Rag-bag office ! Is he any better than the ancient patri- 
 cian ? In the same way, we do not fight with each other, 
 and pay fines for maiming why? because we want to stay 
 at home, and make money ! 
 
 Fitz-G. was still gazing musingly on the bracelet, when 
 he heard a step on the stairs, and just as he whipped the 
 ornament into its case, and the case into his pocket, Rori- 
 bel entered. The face, the whiskers, the air of that elegant 
 creature, were as light and as cheerful as ever. 
 
 " Fitz-Gubin, have you forgotten where we dine to- 
 day ? 
 
 " Dine ! are we engaged V 
 
 11 Then you have forgotten. This is Mr. Bulder's dinner- 
 party, and go you must." Fitz-Gubin acquiesced ; he had 
 a very vague recollection of Bulder's invitation, and no par- 
 ticularly vivid one of his person ; nevertheless, he looked 
 on dinners as scenes that must be gone through, some dull, 
 some lively, some good, some bad ; and on Bulder's dinner 
 to-day, as a routine dinner to be eaten. And he instantly 
 rang his bell, and when he emerged from his bed-room, he 
 looked, I am bound to say, a worthy companion for Roribel. 
 They were a pair of deities in the eyes of certain circles in 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 113 
 
 Malta ; the Castor and Pollux of the Service, twin children 
 of the Latona of aristocracy ! 
 
 Shall I give you, good reader, a letter of introduction to 
 my friend, Mr. Bulder, of Strada Polentoni ? I shall be 
 very happy. 
 
 " MY DEAR SIR You will oblige me by showing any at- 
 tention in your power to young Mr. Brown of the ' Auri- 
 cula/ He is the son of the late Captain Brown, who dis- 
 tinguished himself so much in the last war, (his invention, 
 you will remember, was twenty years under the considera- 
 tion of the Admiralty,) and I am interested in his success, 
 for he is a youth of parts, and I fear my poor friend Brown 
 did not leave his family too well provided for. 
 
 " I am, my dear Sir, &c. &c." 
 
 Perhaps this is not the kind of introduction which would 
 do much for you ? Indeed, I fear my friend Bulder would 
 ask you to meet young Galipotti, the docter's son ; give 
 you a dinner ingeniously compounded of the reliquiae of his 
 last dinner-party, and go to sleep after it, leaving you to 
 employ yourself on some watery claret. Let us try another. 
 
 " MY DEAR SIR This will be presented to you by a young 
 friend of mine, Mawker Pemmison, just appointed to the 
 'Yestal.' You are familiar with the name of his father, 
 Mawker Pemmison, M. P., the well-known member for the 
 wealthy town of Strikeham, of whom every man of business 
 has heard. I dined with him yesterday, and Lady Alicia 
 expressed her hope that Mawker would meet with friends 
 in the country to which he is going. 
 
 " My dear Sir, yours, &c., &c." 
 
 Suffice it to say, that this was a " Pemmison" day, and, 
 as a man of the world, (which, of course, it is your ambi- 
 
114 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 tion, as a young man, to be,) you will agree it was the 
 best day Fitz-Gubin could have had for dining with Bulder. 
 
 They have ? I believe, in Malta, a hundred copies of 
 Debrett. (Mr. Muir of Strada Reale may correct me if I 
 am wrong.) The B aiders had looked out Fitz-Gubin, of 
 course, in their copy, and gloated over the account of the 
 grandeur of houses in Picardy. Bulder respected aristoc- 
 racy as most people do, that is, he did not so much respect 
 the thing itself, as respect the respect for the thing ! Do 
 you understand ? And the Bulders enjoyed, by being abroad, 
 the advantage of entertaining far greater people than they 
 could have hoped to entertain in England. When Lord 
 Troubadour's yacht arrives at Bombakea, Lord Trouba- 
 dour must dine with the consul, or mope on board, and 
 know nothing about the place. When the Countess of 
 Ostrich's yacht is in want of repairs, and is laid up in Malta 
 for the purpose, she must have a corvette to go to Naples 
 in, and she and her party must dine with Prodger. These 
 are great considerations, and worthy of all acceptance by 
 the middle classes, who think of settling abroad. They 
 should make up their minds to enjoy the advantage while 
 the opportunities last ; a day comes when the Wyomings 
 retire to Harley-street or Tyburnia, and are potentates no 
 more ; a day comes when the ship is paid off when a 
 Cuckles departs to lodgings near Charing-cross, and a Fitz- 
 Gubin to Grosvenor square. 
 
 Young Bulder cultivated a moustache and affected mili- 
 tary society, but was damped early that day by Fitz-Gubin's 
 asking him what regiment he belonged to. The cool, stolid 
 manner of Fitz-Gubin gave no possible hint that he intended 
 a sarcasm ; and of course young Bulder looked all the more 
 annoyed for the moment. His father enjoyed Fitz-G.'s 
 mistake, having observed with regret the increasing aliena- 
 tion from business of his son's tastes. For the youth made 
 
FUN, FKIGATES, AND YACHTING. 115 
 
 r evening, when he could, to the cafes and the bil- 
 ns, where Ludder of the Marines, Hunibleston of 
 the th, and other gentlemen, occupied themselves with 
 cigars and pool, and (old Bulder's dinners being famous) 
 were civil to him. There seemed, indeed, every hope that 
 this youthful Bulder, so far from turning out an awkward, 
 reserved, prosperous man of business, would become an 
 elegant and agreeable young fellow, fit for nothing at all, 
 and throw a lustre on the family. 
 
 Bulder, had he told the truth, would probably have con- 
 fessed that he found Fitz-Gubin slow. But he could not 
 have complained of his manners, for Fitz-Gubin (though 
 his fancy was ever wandering to another part of Yaletta) 
 was ever attentive, self-possessed, and satisfied with every- 
 thing. When the business of the island was talked of, he 
 was mild and reasonable, and knowing next to nothing 
 about it, said that next to nothing cheerfully. Did they 
 talk of the churches, antiquities, people, he was the same 
 composed individual. No advantage more prominently dis- 
 tinguishes our modern man of quality than this. He is, 
 perhaps, at a public dinner : the occasion important ; the 
 crowd immense ; he has to speak and expound his views ; 
 he has no views, and nothing of the least consequence to 
 say. Does he blush and stutter like a roturier 1 Not he ! 
 He rises, and with the best air in the world, says his 
 nothing, and charms the assembly. 
 
 The saloons of Mr. Bulder (for, at a certain stage of 
 a man's prosperity, his rooms become saloons, by their own 
 right) were thrown open that evening to a numerous as- 
 sembly. Our friends, the Misses Wyoming, were there ; 
 Captain and Mrs. and Miss Plimmer ; Sir John Sumper 
 and " party," and Sir John Lumper and his party; the 
 Kingfishers, the Crawsters, the Popanells, and many others. 
 And the sea-breeze is so famous for its healthiness, that you 
 
116 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 may observe it quite revives and brightens up even a 
 reputation sometimes ; so that at the houses of the Bulders 
 and others, notabilities from England, of a certain rank, 
 glide about quite blooming, and free from all traces of 
 naughtiness ! Fitz-Gubin and Roribel knew these cases of 
 moral convalescence perfectly well, and whispered together, 
 as two figures passed in the distance, about whom stories 
 could be told. It was fine to see these two potentates, on 
 occasions like the present, when they were the " swells" of 
 the navy present, or at all events of the junior navy ; for 
 we must not forget professional rank, which, of course, 
 takes the pas, and has been remarked at times to supply 
 the place of manners, wit, birth, and all that classifies 
 mankind ! 
 
 " Fitz-Gubin, let us come and speak to the Wyoinings, 
 and you ask Miss Wyoming to dance," said Roribel. It 
 was RoribeFs duty to see proper attention paid to these 
 ladies, as became a flag-lieutenant ; and an attentive, grace- 
 ful officer he was, performing all offices of chivalry, duly 
 not entangling his heart, however, as he told Fitz-Gubin, 
 with a sigh. " Charming girls," said that mirror of courte- 
 sy, with his very best sadness. " Beautiful creatures ! but 
 I am but a younger son, FitzrGubin." Fitz-G. smiled lan- 
 guidly, and thought it very good-natured of his friend to 
 sigh on the subject, and perhaps a little affected of him to 
 
 sigh to him And so they approached the ladies in 
 
 question. Some of the prettiest girls in Malta looked with 
 admiration at the two gentlemen, and envied the Wyomings. 
 
 " Do you see those two infernal idiots?" said Mr. Jigger, 
 of the brig " Bustard," to Mr. Wheeler, of the brig 
 " Racer." 
 
 "I do. That's the flag-lieutenant, the oldest one," re- 
 sponded Mr. Wheeler, "the other fellow's a Lord Fitz- 
 Gubin, or some such name." 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 117 
 
 " They'll promote him to lieutenant instanter, and send 
 him to the Royal Yacht, you'll see," said Jigger bitterly. 
 
 " Oh, of course. This is confoundedly slow," said Mr. 
 Wheeler, looking round savagely. " Hillo ! here's Mott- 
 ford of us. Who asked you here, Mottford ?" 
 
 " Who do you suppose ? Bulder, of course. My father 
 banks with his brother ; and they always ask me to two 
 balls and a dinner every year." 
 
 " Is there any brandy in th6 refreshment room ?" inquired 
 Mr. Jigger, with a business-like air. 
 
 " I fear not," Wheeler answered. " Gad, I'd rather have 
 a quiet tumbler at Mula's, than go to any evening party in 
 Christendom." 
 
 "Why did you come, then?" said a mild young gentle- 
 man of their acquaintance, who affected "society." 
 
 " Because Kiddleton wouldn't have given me leave to 
 come on shore, except to come here ; and if I hadn't come, 
 there's Weavel, our purser, in the rooms, and he would 
 have told Kiddleton. Now do you see ?" The mild young 
 gentleman was silenced. 
 
 " You have heard of the general order, of course," Jigger 
 said. " It was sent out this afternoon, and gives one hun- 
 dred and fifty-five reasons why putting a Maltese on the 
 fair-way buoy is at variance with sound discipline." 
 
 " I wish they had kept the fellow on the buoy till eight 
 o'clock, and then we would all have seen him," Wheeler 
 remarked. " Is there going to be an inquiry ?" 
 
 " Goodness knows. Probably, as everybody seems to 
 have heard that some flag-ship fellows did it, we of the 
 small craft will have our leave stopped," said the sardonic 
 Jigger. 
 
 In the meantime Lord Fitz-Gubin had been dancing with 
 Miss Wyoming. 
 
 " Did you like the new buffo last night ?" she asked. 
 
118 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 "Yes," answered Fitz-Gubin ; " but you were not there, 
 Miss Wyoming." 
 
 " I was." 
 
 " Strange that I should not have seen your party then," 
 he observed. " I looked to see if there were any faces I 
 knew in the house too," said the quiet youth. Miss Wyo- 
 ming was silent. 
 
 When the dance was over, the vMiss Wyomings, Roribel, 
 and Fitz-Gubin fell into a group. Roribel began to talk 
 of a pic-nic to Bosketto, which had for some tune been 
 meditated in the polite circles of the island. Who does not 
 remember the sloping valley of strawberry gardens, the de- 
 serted old house with yet a certain air of old feudal gen- 
 tility about it the stalactic cavern, with the fresh fountain 
 bubbling up among its carved and moist stones ? That 
 pic-nic was determined on. 
 
 As Roribel and Fitz-Gubin were walking together after 
 the party, the subject of the Maltese and the adventure of 
 the previous night came up in their conversation. Fitz- 
 Gubin was regretting that he should have been out so late, 
 and should have figured in the list so very conspicuously. 
 " You in the list I" says Roribel " you were not in the 
 list 1" Fitz-Gubin was astonished, and no little pleased ; 
 but puzzled to account for the lucky circumstance. " I 
 shan't complain, however," he said, with a pleased chuckle. 
 They speculated on the subject, and reflecting whose hands 
 the paper had passed through, concluded that the attentive 
 Cuckles had taken care of the omission, as, indeed, Cuckles 
 had ; and the chapter may end as it opened with a men- 
 tion of his honored name. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 119 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 ONE fine day of that autumn, some excitement prevailed 
 in the squadron ; it was the day of the pic-nic. They say 
 that the " Sovereign's n launch was once sent on a cruise 
 with wine and other luxuries on board to regale a party at 
 St. Paul's Bay, who had made a pilgrimage to the place 
 where the apostle landed, to drink Moselle, and eat chicken 
 pie. It may be so. It may be that the ships, and ships' 
 boats, and flags, and men, are, every now and then, em- 
 ployed in the service of all kinds of agreeable men and 
 women, and that we are a luxurious, money-spending, tiebt- 
 contracting generation. " Here's a pretty fellow," exclaims 
 Tomkins, indignantly, " to be sneering at his old profession ! 
 Pray, sir, have you never shown your approval of pic-nics, 
 or the ' Sovereign's' Madeira?" " Tomkins, I like Madeira, 
 and I have been a jolly fellow in my time, but I don't know 
 that that much affects the question at issue." Let us pro- 
 ceed with our sketches of swell life at sea, and make the 
 most of this fine day. 
 
 Squirrell, the livery-stable keeper of Strada Borni, found 
 his stock of animals in much request this morning. It will 
 be admitted that naval men ride much better than Commo- 
 dore Trunnion, in our day ; that in Malta we can produce 
 a man or two with credit at the races, though much re- 
 mains to be done yet, as anybody who has seen Jigger gal- 
 loping past the royal carriage at Naples, with his trousers 
 split across the knee, knows. But the constant employ- 
 ment of the horses of Squirrell, about this time, was im- 
 proving the practice of youngsters. Squirrell's horses, in 
 fact, exhibit every variety of peculiar disposition. "Jo- 
 seph " invariably backs against a stone wall ; the " Go- 
 yernor " is famous for his efforts to seize the horseman next 
 
120 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 him by the leg, and so on.. By selecting them by turns, 
 one learns to combat different tricks. By long habit, all 
 these noble animals make a dead stop at the " Dairy," that 
 well-known way-side hostelry, where generation after gene- 
 ration of fellows have paused, and have consumed rum and 
 milk. The policemen about the gates were quite excited 
 this morning, as the conveyances of the party rolled by, 
 and after them, at a canter, with gold-laced caps glittering, 
 the naval men came, Fitz-Gubin and Roribel were the 
 best mounted men there. They were both in plain clothes, 
 and both indignant at Jigger, (who belonged to the party, 
 nobody quite knew how,) who kept shooting ahead at a 
 gallop, and whose trousers, escaping from the thraldom of 
 straps, were constantly approaching his knees. Cuckles 
 was not present, invariably avoiding festivities accompanied 
 by expense, if possible. Commander Mutter was one of 
 the party, being a paternal kind of man, and, from general 
 harmlessness, serving well as a he-duenna. The Commander 
 had had all his pluck taken out of him in the course of a 
 long and severe matrimonial training. He was just the fel- 
 low to be paternal among young girls and young fellows on 
 these occasions ; exercising a kind of restraint, yet not in 
 the way ; overflowing with small talk and heavy goodness ; 
 moderate in wine himself, but never forgetting the cork- 
 screw. A most useful man ! Mounted on a mule, Mutter 
 trotted alongside, first one carriage of the cavalcade, and 
 then another ; paying attention to the wives and daughters 
 of the influential people. How is it (as I so often remark) 
 that the serious and saintly party are such worshippers of 
 the authorities ? Yet, on these holiday occasions, Mutter 
 would be easy and lively with a youngster now and then, 
 having a certain fund of good-nature in him, which the 
 consciousness of rank did not altogether keep down. In- 
 deed, how many a worthy man is there in this world, who 
 
FCN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 121 
 
 is spoiled by the big-wig or cocked-hat power, and who, di- 
 vested of these symbols, would be universally respected and 
 popular ! 
 
 The landscape which lies before you as you ride out from 
 Yaletta to the country if country it can be called is not 
 cheerful to the eye. A white or brown stony surface, inter- 
 sected by white or brown walls, bounding scraggy and 
 dreary fields, cannot be very much enlivened even by the 
 brightest sunshine. Your gaze wanders to the low-lying 
 horizon and loves the thought of the sea. Yet there are 
 spots of interest and attraction, both to mind and eye, 
 as you let your fancy and your bridle go pretty loosely, and 
 leave the harbor and the fortifications behind. There are 
 hints and gleams of the beautiful in the stony waste, as in 
 ordinary life. St. Antonio, with its palace and gardens, is 
 a little islet of joy, where the heart warms to the glitter of 
 the sweet and cool orange trees. A little village, quaint 
 but lively, is before you at one turn, with a fantastic chapel, 
 and gaudy and picturesque images basking in corners in the 
 sun ; where the gay-colored attire of the brown-skinned and 
 black-eyed people, is characteristic of their Eastern descent. 
 
 Or, you slacken at a rather long though not steep hill, 
 and the boom of the cathedral bell through the quiet air 
 meets you on the way. Yes ; the genius of romance is 
 alive still in that island. And, are you a sentimentalist, as 
 well as a humorist ? then pass Mr. Bulder's dinner parties 
 leave Roribel in the burning street .... turn into the old 
 building dedicated to St. John cool, venerable, and with 
 the thick incense-smell lingering about it, and loiter a little 
 over the flag-stones bearing the coat-armor of the Knights ! 
 The " enlightened " individual (I allude to- - Bagman, 
 Esq., the distinguished traveller, who judges of every place 
 by its ability to produce cotton) will tell you stories about 
 their misdeeds ; when their day as an Order was over, and 
 
 6 
 
122 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 their great purpose had spent itself : but they 
 
 pious, brave, high-hearted gentlemen in their time ; and let 
 us beg the distinguished Bagman to allow their ashes to 
 rest ! 
 
 When our party drew near Citta Yecchia, the population 
 were all astir. Frank came out, cap in hand, from his hos- 
 telry, to offer his services ; the beggars (of whom Malta is 
 productive, and who rush into unbounded luxury if they 
 secure two-pence) swarmed around ; a knot of poor little 
 sucking priests, in black knee-breeches, and stockings, pale- 
 faced and meagre lads, stared from a respectful distance 
 tranquilly, and perhaps (poor fellows) envied the rosy and 
 fiery Jigger who galloped Squirrel's horse " Shampoo" up 
 and down the place at full speed. It was a fine sunshiny 
 noon. The party came to a temporary halt ; some of them 
 went to see the curiosities of the place the church or the 
 catecombs ; others lounged about where some trees afforded 
 a shade. 
 
 " Well," said Koribel, to a section of the party, who by 
 natural gravity had approached each other, " what shall we 
 do ? There's the catecombs, to be sure, but " 
 
 Miss Wyoming said, " they were places of great interest, 
 lut " 
 
 Captain Plimmer said, " Oh, highly, highly, you know. 
 But " 
 
 In fact, nobody liked to say what everybody felt, that 
 the catecombs would be a bore. Koribel thought it due to 
 his reputation to come brilliantly out of the difficulty. 
 
 " Well, we've all seen catecombs, somewhere ; and really, 
 because previous generations chose to bury themselves m 
 such a style, I do not see that we should bury ourselves 
 too ! I confess," continued Koribel, with rather a wicked 
 smile levelled at Commander Mutter, " I confess that I am. 
 a cheerful Christian" 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 123 
 
 So that notion was lightly disposed of ; and for the present 
 they moved into a garden, where seats were placed under 
 an awning for them. Meanwhile, the attendants were 
 defiling along towards the Bosketto, with the preparations 
 for lunch ; and in their rear trotted on his pony, jolly little 
 Lieutenant Bulbous, bent on seeing that the wine was pro- 
 perly put in a cool place, and everything in train. His 
 sunny red face shone as he jogged along. He had not come 
 to see anything, or to enjoy anybody's company, but simply 
 to lunch with an appetite, which indeed, is, after all, the 
 vital part of a pic-nic. Roribel directed attention to the 
 retreating figure of Bulbous, and hoped that young Jig- 
 ger would not get loose among the bottles too early in the 
 day ; and was otherwise very lively. 
 
 An hour's pause, and they proceeded on their journey to 
 Bosketto. The old country house above mentioned, with 
 its yellow old walls, looked empty and forlorn as usual. 
 Some faint and seedy vestige of what was once ga.y paint- 
 ing adorns rooms which were once rooms of banquet ; a few 
 words of Latin straggling across the door by which you 
 enter, invite you to festivity. Do the ghosts accept that 
 old-fashioned invitation in the lonely moonlight nights there, 
 and make merry with each other ? One could fancy so. 
 Altogether, it is a dreary, empty, seedy, picturesque old 
 den. It stands there as poverty-stricken in its pride as a 
 poor old Jacobite Scotch peer of the last age. Curiosity 
 made Roribel and some others look in, and they gazed 
 silently about the rooms. Adeline Wyoming, whose pen- 
 sive love of aristocratic memories we have remarked, be- 
 wailed the desolation, and thought Fitz-Gubin must feel 
 quite a brotherly interest in the place. 
 
 " How interesting 1" said Adeline. 
 
 " Yes 1" said Fitz-Gubin, in his happy indifference ; " but 
 very small. In shire we have ruins enough, There are, 
 
124 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 really I forget how many, old castles within some miles of 
 us. We do what we can to preserve them prevent people 
 carrying off the stones, and all that." 
 
 " What wickedness," said Adeline, " of them to think of 
 such a thing ! But I think the English respect old ruins, 
 and old old families." 
 
 "They ought," Fitz-Gubin said; "if they don't, why, 
 what guarantee have we for preserving for anything, in 
 fact ?" 
 
 "Very true," said Roribel, wishing to persuade Fitz- 
 Gubin he had made an intelligent observation ; but flat- 
 tery was not very potent with that swell ! And why ? 
 Because he thought so well of himself that your opinion 
 could add nothing to it ! 
 
 "Is there anything more to see ?" inquired Miss Wyo- 
 ming 
 
 "Why, there's the wall outside, but that's modern; in 
 fact, a few years' old," said Roribel, pointing to a stone 
 wall in the neighborhood. This flash of pleasantry made 
 everybody titter ; and they left the melancholy old house 
 and proceeded to the garden. 
 
 " Lord Fitz-Gubin is very silent to-day," whispered Miss 
 Wyoming to Roribel. 
 
 " I don't know that he is ever very lively," replied Rori- 
 bel drily. But looking at him again, he observed that he 
 was abstracted more than usual. His arm hung loose, so 
 -that Adeline could scarcely hold it properly. 
 
 " Can it be," said Roribel to Miss Wyoming, " that he 
 is in love ?" 
 
 Miss Wyoming looked very grave. Roribel was puzzled. 
 " She cannot," thought he, " possibly imagine that that is a 
 marrying man." Miss Wyoming was not such a fool, but, 
 indeed, knew both Fitz-Gubin and Roribel better than they 
 supposed. Roribel was much the more lively and genial of 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 125 
 
 the two men, bnt in heart, probably, they were on a par 
 just as a pound of feathers is as heavy as a pound of lead. 
 Mrs. Plimmer, who was presiding in the capacity of mater- 
 nal guardian on this occasion, knew the truth, likewise an 
 experienced dame, who had that acquaintance with match- 
 making which is nowhere attained in such perfection as in 
 garrison society. 
 
 The day of strawberries was over ; but the pool of fresh- 
 est water in the stalactic cavern was as cool as ever, gleam- 
 ing calm and cool in the centre of the fretted stone-work 
 fluted, graven into fantastic forms with fairy icicles of rock, 
 adorned and pointed speaking of immeasurable time and 
 eternal moisture. Here the summer sun never saw his face 
 reflected ; here, like Diana's nymphs bathing, the pleasant 
 claret bottles kept their fine natures most beautifully cool. 
 There was not a drop of romantic blood in the old carcase 
 of Lieutenant Bulbous, yet had he here achieved a spectacle 
 of poetry ! 
 
 The lunch proceeded in due time. Pop goes a champagne 
 bottle ; maddened by the confinement in such weather, the 
 eager wine leaped out to meet the summer and the air, foam- 
 ed triumphantly into a glass, and died happily, meeting the 
 lips of pretty Rosa Plimmer ! Not a cloud was in the 
 Mediterranean heaven. The almond tree revelled in the 
 heat. 
 
 " I miss one face," said Roribel, with tenderness. "I miss 
 Captain Pappleton ! Let us drink his health." 
 
 " Poor Captain Pappleton !" said Adeline ; "he would 
 have been happy here I" 
 
 " He mixed salad better than any man in Europe P said 
 Roribel, with a gush of fondness. " Ladies and Gentlemen ! 
 Captain Pappleton has recently had a slight accident 
 Let us wish him an honorable acquittal !" 
 
 Roribel drank. The company joined. 
 
126 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " After all," said Roribel, overflowing with brotherly 
 kindness, " after all, Miss Wyoming, it is my opinion, as a 
 professional man, that the unhappy loss of the ' Bloater' 
 will all prove to be the fault of I don't wish to impeach 
 anybody Bluffett, the master !'' 
 
 In this cheerful manner the lunch opened. Jigger drank 
 any health, anybody proposed ; " health, sir : the devil's 
 health in this wine !" said Jigger. " Silence, youngster," 
 said Bulbous, who overheard him. Fitz-Gubin was at that 
 moment observed to look round in a bland and brotherly 
 manner ; and presently he said, " Oblige me by preparing 
 your glasses, I ana about to give you a toast. Ladies and 
 Gentlemen! (" what a great manner," thought Adeline; 
 
 "d d puppy," thought Jigger,) the distinguished officer 
 
 whose flag we have the honor to serve under, ("I ought to 
 have proposed this," thought Captain Plimmer, with some 
 pique,) deserves the homage of our attention to-day. Him- 
 self one of the greatest men whom our naval history has 
 produced, and represented here to-day (Fitz-Gubin threw 
 into his voice a touch of gallantry) by the lustre of beauty, 
 he commands our reverence, and enchants our hearts. I 
 propose, with all the honors, our Commander-in-Chief !" 
 (Great enthusiasm.) Of course, the health was most cor- 
 dially responded to. Mr. Thimbleston, Ensign of the th, 
 observing, however, to a neighbor, that " the army ought 
 to have taken precedence ; by Jove, sir, why the deuce 
 didn't the army take precedence ?" and so forth. 
 
 By degrees, people strolled away from the luuching- 
 ground, and lounged about in the gardens, and chatted. 
 Adeline Wyoming went again to look at the old country- 
 house ; and as she returned, she passed quickly down the 
 garden walk, and she put her arm through her elder sister's 
 and drew her away till they were quite by themselves. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 127 
 
 " What's the matter, Adeline ?" said Miss Wyoming, 
 " you look quite frightened. What is it, dear ?" 
 
 " I have been in that old house again, and in the room 
 where we were " 
 
 " You saw a ghost, you silly thing 1" interrupted Miss 
 Wyoming. 
 
 " No/' Adeline said, " but I have found this." 
 
 And she drew out a small ornament. It was a thin 
 chain of very fine gold, and suspended to it was a locket, 
 on which was engraved the word " Marie," The two girls 
 paused, and kept dead silence a moment. Then Miss 
 Wyoming (who had turned quite pale) said, "Run and put 
 it back, you foolish child, why did you touch it ?" 
 
 "I was so surprised, I I did not know what I was 
 doing." The tears came to the girl's eyes. 
 
 " Give it me," her sister said. It needed no long thought 
 to tell her who had lost it ; and like a glimpse through the 
 dark, she saw now something of Fitz-Gubin's character. 
 The mystery of iniquity which underlies our social life, and 
 which we ignore so determinedly, docs now and then cast a 
 shadow, where only the sunshine of purity should be. 
 Hints and chills (like those thrills of cold which we feel 
 and cannot account for) tremble through the frame of soci- 
 ety in its garb of safety, and refinement, and purity ; tell- 
 ing of something unhealthy and unholy in the air. 
 
 Miss Wyoming moved quickly up the garden. Adeline 
 remained behind ; she had allowed herself to fancy Fitz- 
 Gubin was one who could be loved, goodness knows why ; 
 don't we see that a bird will sit on a stone, if it be only 
 decently like an egg ? and don't women give their heart- 
 warmth away, in this unprofitable manner, constantly? 
 The eldest, I say, moved quickly up the garden. She 
 would put the locket in the room again, and Fitz-Gubin 
 would be sure to seek it there if he missed it ; and then 
 
128 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 why she would try and not think of it any more ; or she 
 would save the poor little girl from She was full of anx- 
 iety and painful feeling when she approached the house, but 
 her heart grew cold as she saw Fitz-Gubin enter it before 
 her. He had gone, plainly enough, to look for the lost 
 locket ; she felt frightened to think that he might come out 
 and meet her. 
 
 In the meantime, the party were growing dull, and begin- 
 ning to think of moving. Roribel was on the move, and 
 crying " to horse," with his accustomed liveliness. He 
 walked up the garden-path, and the whole group broke up 
 and spread themselves out into knots. Roribel reached the 
 head of the garden just as Fitz-Gubin came out of the 
 house with a shade of annoyance on his brow. Miss 
 Wyoming was turning the other way to rejoin her sisters. 
 
 "To horse 1" says Roribel. "Why, Fitz-Gubin, what's 
 the matter V 9 
 
 " Oh, nothing ; Fve been in that old house again, that's 
 all." 
 
 " Well, did you meet the ghosts of your ancestors, or 
 what ? By Jove, I know people in very good society, who 
 would be startled if they could see their ancestors," said 
 Roribel. They approached each other nearer ; Miss Wy- 
 oming had meanwhile moved quite away. 
 
 " But, hillo I" said Roribel again, stooping suddenly to 
 the ground, and picking up something, " what's this ? a 
 chain and a locket with ' Marie' on it ; treasure-trove, by 
 Jove !" 
 
 Fitz-Gubin started. " Give it to me, Roribel 1" 
 
 Roribel was in his most champagne mood. 
 
 " Marie ! eh," cried he, holding it behind him, to prevent 
 Fitz-Gubin seizing it, " we must exhibit this." 
 
 "Roribel, don't be a fool," said Fitz-Gubin, angrily, and 
 very much frightened that the Wyomings would see it. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 129 
 
 Roribel gave the locket to him, seeing him so serious. 
 Fitz-Gubin was delighted to recover it ; thought he must 
 have dropped it coming down the garden, &c. 
 
 But the journey home was one of the dullest ever known. 
 When one is carrying on any wickedness, one is unusually 
 suspicious, and the manner of the two Wyomings suffi- 
 ciently disturbed Fitz-Gubin. He suspected Miss Wyo- 
 ming had seen the locket lying on the ground ; he well knew 
 how it would startle her, and in conjunction with previous 
 circumstances, it would alarm and shock her. He cursed 
 his carelessness as he went on board, and reproached him- 
 self for being a "fool," yet never suspected that he was 
 anything worse. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 IT is twilight time, and the bells of Malta are jingling 
 away as if they wished to welcome the night in enthusiasti- 
 cally. English Malta is going to dinner. Malta proper 
 has dined long since, and is airing or resting itself, and 
 happy in the enjoyment of a breeze which is cool from 
 leagues of blue sea. Malta proper is right to dine early. 
 For delicious above all of Nature's delights is twilight in 
 the South. Nature's highest function is to pacify the spirit 
 and elevate the heart of man. In warm climates you feel 
 more a part of nature than elsewhere. Hence from these 
 climates come Pantheistic religions ; in the North you have 
 " frost-giants" and the like hard impersonations of nature, 
 which is severe there, and has to be fought against. The 
 South merges you in the universal : the North sharpens 
 your individuality. The South produces despots, emblems 
 of the universal : the North aristocracies, embodiments of 
 great individualities. And so might we go on to contrast 
 
 6* 
 
130 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 and compare, but that our duty calls us to the personages 
 of our story, and to the events which we have in hand. 
 
 We are in the twilight, I say, of the auiumn, when all 
 these events of ours happened. The harbor is alive with 
 boats, for the court-martial on Captain Pappleton and his 
 officers for losing the Bloater is just over the second day 
 has concluded the matter ; and at every dinner in the har- 
 bor the SENTENCE is discussed. Was it fair to Bluffett, the 
 master? Who knows Bluffett? Are not all these Papple- 
 tons notorious gabies ? How did Hackles give his evidence ? 
 Had Captain Bobbles a right to sit ? Huge subjects of dis- 
 cussion, which accompany (but do not retard) the discus- 
 sion of the Brimbousky marine and other luxuries ; and on 
 the whole, perhaps, give a stimulus to the consumption of 
 the iced wine, so grateful in that climate. There can be 
 no great harm in gliding into the gun-room of the Sovereign, 
 and just learning a little about the particulars of the trial. 
 For our friend Forbessy is cast loose on the service again 
 by the dispersion of the Bloater's officers and crew, which 
 is decided on ; and Forbessy is to figure before the reader 
 in various pages yet, before we have done with him, what- 
 ever may become of our Fitz-Gubins and others. 
 
 " Have not had such a trial for a long time," says Sid- 
 dlington ; " not since Terry ton was tried for insubordi- 
 nation." 
 
 "There is a piquancy about an insubordination trial which 
 you don't have in a mere loss of a ship case, though," says 
 Beaulieu, talking of the affair as hunters do of a " run." 
 
 " Yes," Riddel said, " Ricks was good. His telling the 
 timid witness that he had a head like a scupper-nail was 
 calculated to calm the poor fellow." 
 
 "Ah, ha! and I thought it excellent when he asked 
 where the midshipmen were, and looked so sulky when 
 nothing whatever appeared against them !" 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 131 
 
 " Did you see Pappletou shed a manly tear during the 
 defence ?" inquired a midshipman, in rather an unfeeling 
 tone. (Cuckles made a mental note about him.) 
 
 " Yery good defence, too ; Hookins's, I suppose ?" asked 
 Beaulieu. 
 
 " Yes. I know that touch about the { memory of unfor- 
 tunate disasters being a punishment in itself.' He got old 
 Stokey off with loss of a year, for being drunk in the middle 
 watch in the Fandango, by that one stroke, I believe I" 
 
 " I remain of opinion that Mrs. Pappleton should have 
 been tried," said Pug Welby. 
 
 " By ," began old Manton, " when Fowler lost the 
 
 Porcupine in '18, off Devil's Head, (by not a com- 
 pass that would work in the ship there wasn't,) and the 
 
 sails were all worn, and by it blew as it never blew 
 
 on the coast of Spain he didn't come off so cheap I can 
 tell you ! ' Reprimanded,' indeed ! They reprimanded 
 you with a d d good breaking, and if need be, brought* a 
 youngster to the gun, &c., &c." I cut short Manton, as 
 indeed the mess did, by the various laughs and exclama- 
 tions which he produced. Poor old gentleman ! He was 
 one of a breed gone by now, of whom the last will soon be 
 laid by the side of the pigtails of the dead generation. 
 
 This speech of old Manton has revealed to you the result 
 of the trial to Pappleton. He was " reprimanded ;" but 
 Bluffett, the master, was " reprimanded severely" and was 
 not to be employed for a year. Everybody else was ac- 
 quitted. What then remained to do in the case of the 
 Bloater, but what good housewives do with domestic break- 
 ages viz., to pick up the pieces? For that purpose, a 
 ship was sent to the scene of the wreck, which brought 
 away the lower masts and rudder in tow ; and (the head 
 authorities at Malta regretting that Mrs. Pappleton had 
 lost her wardrobe) there the matter ended ! Captain Pap- 
 
132 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 pleton was " hereby reprimanded accordingly " which did 
 not spoil his dinner and after much sympathy from the 
 good-natured Wyomings, he and Mrs. P. went to England 
 luxuriously, in one of the " Peninsular and Oriental" boats. 
 He has been employed since, too, (as you will be glad to 
 hear, and as we all ought to be proud to know,) and I be- 
 lieve Mrs. Pappleton will often talk over the loss of the 
 Bloater in her nautical way, and tell you that if they had 
 "worn" at 6 P. M., or kept W. and by S. after 3, or other- 
 wise done something which they did not do, the Bloater 
 would not have been lost. 
 
 The talk about the "sentence" having flagged, while the 
 mess were still at their wine, Beaulieu looked round ; and 
 observing that many of the fellows, who were not in the 
 best set, had gone out of the gun-room, said quietly, " I 
 did not tell you my adventure last night !" 
 
 Men pricked up their ears. "I don't think the affair of 
 any consequence, to be sure," continued Beaulieu, care- 
 lessly. " But I was passing along an obscure street, and a 
 fellow tried to stab me !" Beaulieu sipped some wine. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin looked up. Forbessy looked up. The eyes 
 of these young men seemed to meet naturally, somehow, 
 and having met, to turn away again, rather hurriedly. 
 Forbessy looked especially serious, and there was trouble 
 in the expression of his gray eyes. 
 
 "The deuce he did!" Riddel said. "How do you ac- 
 count for it ?" 
 
 " Nay ; who knows ? He must have taken me for some- 
 body else. In warding off the blow, I showed him my face ; 
 the man made no other attempt, and vanished 1" 
 
 "'Gad, Riddel says. "There are not many of your 
 inches, either ! Stand up, Beaulieu, and show us how you 
 were walking." 
 
 Beaulieu smiled, and stood up. Truly, he was a goodly 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 133 
 
 length of a man, Beaulieu. He was the son of an Admiral 
 Beaulieu ; but he and his father bore a likeness to a family 
 more illustrious than any known under that gentile appella- 
 tion. Who knows the exact truth ? Yet, few who were 
 up to high scandals, doubted whence father and son inherit- 
 ed the high manner, the royal air. Their personal qualities 
 had not suffered, as their escutcheon had, from the brand 
 of the bastard's bar ! 
 
 " There's not so tall a man in the mess, and consequently 
 not in the squadron," said Riddel. " We whop the squad- 
 ron in everything, in horses, in Madeira, in Palestine soup, 
 in exercising sails." (He classified, you observe, in a cha- 
 racteristic order. 
 
 " Forbessy is two inches less," said Siddlington. 
 
 " I am," said Forbessy, quietly. 
 
 " Lord Fitz-Gubin, I think, is as tall, though," said Cuck- 
 les. (Foolish Cuckles, he didn't know what he was about.) 
 
 "Ah, Fitz-Gubin, measure !" Riddel said. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin was sulky that evening; but he rose, and 
 stood up back to back with Beaulieu. Their heights were, 
 indeed, much the same. A joke or two was made on the 
 point, and on Beaulieu's story, but Fitz-Gubin was quite out 
 of his usual, cool, indifferent tone of manner. He was icy 
 and fretful prickly with icicles of manner, if I may be 
 permitted such a figure. The party broke up somewhat 
 abruptly ; the men went to smoke on the main deck, or to 
 get ready to go on shore, or to whatever else they designed 
 for the evening's employment. And among the smoking 
 party, Riddel drew his chair alongside Beaulieu's, and 
 opened a chat with him. First of all, Riddel told the 
 handsome Beaulieu, that there was no doubt that he had 
 been taken for Fitz-Gubin, and that he certainly would be 
 stabbed instead of him if he didn't take care. He reminded 
 him of Fitz-Gubin's previous adventure. 
 
134 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " He is such a deuced mysterious fellow I" continued Rid- 
 del. "If be would tell one what he was about, one might 
 be warned. But there is no knowing all that fellow's mys- 
 teries By Jove, there he goes on shore now, in 
 
 plain clothes !" 
 
 Sure enough, the long figure of Fitz-Gubin was seen 
 gliding up the companion ladder, and in a few minutes the 
 young men saw through an open port a boat shooting away 
 towards the landing-place. 
 
 Beaulieu had much of the shrewdness and elegance, and 
 much of the personal tastes of his father the admiral, and 
 his grandfather, the admiral's Parent. (Let us dignify the 
 great progenitor of the Beaulieus with a capital, at all 
 events.) 
 
 " Well," said Beaulieu, "it is very convenient to make 
 love personally, and get stabbed for it by proxy !" 
 
 " Do you know," said Riddel who was a trifle feather- 
 headed, and flew backwards and forwards between facts, as 
 a bird does between trees, undecided where to light " the 
 case must stand thus : Your assailant was the cad of the 
 
 fair-way buoy, who but then you were not of that 
 
 party. But, stop. He wanted to get at Fitz-Gubin ; and 
 I suppose he is the brother of some girl that Fitz-Gubin 
 has been making love to." 
 
 "And I am to be sacrificed to her, like a lamb to Yenus !" 
 said Mr. Beaulieu. 
 
 " He will get himself into some terrible scrape," Riddel 
 went on. " For my part, I hate your adventures, and 
 watchings, and knives, and rope-ladders, in such matters." 
 
 " You are of Horace's opinion," said Beaulieu, who 
 thought that a " gentleman " ought to know Horace, and 
 only studied certain authors whom he thought a " gentle- 
 man" ought to know, besides him : "Amo Vemrem facilem" 
 &c. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 135 
 
 ' I am glad Horace and I agree," said Riddel. " But, 
 by Jove, too, (he went on expounding the half-moral code, 
 which he and many other young fellows hold in our day,) 
 by Jove, I say, it is not fair to be always following up a 
 chase of this kind like a red Indian on a track. Hang it, 
 if an apple drops into one's mouth, well and good ; but 
 don't go sneaking like a burglar over the orchard wall." 
 Whereupon, Riddel, thinking he had made an ethical hit, 
 sucked some sherry-and-water, and hugged himself as a good 
 fellow. 
 
 " There is a great deal of sound English feeling about 
 that sentiment," said Beaulieu, with a grin. " Let's take a 
 turn on deck." 
 
 They left the main deck and found the night lovely. They 
 mounted to the poop, and commenced a pleasant turn there. 
 The stars were out in the heaven, and the winds loose upon 
 the sea. 
 
 " Who's that on the other side?" asked Riddel. He 
 spoke of a figure which was leaning over the side of the 
 bulwarks, and looking towards the shore. 
 
 Riddel strolled over to see. The figure did not move. 
 He returned, and told Beaulieu : it was Forbessy. 
 
 "Ah, a quiet, and rather melancholy fellow," Beaulieu 
 remarked, as they leaned over the bulwarks of their side. 
 " Never saw him, till he joined a few weeks ago. Seems of 
 a good family, and not rich ; affectionate, but without 
 chums ; earnest, with no particular beliefs ; and clever, 
 without having decided what he will make his cleverness 
 do !" 
 
 " Why, Beaulieu, what an infernal observer you are," 
 Riddel said, with an astonished air. " I scarcely ever saw 
 you speak to Forbessy." 
 
 Beaulieu laughed, looked down at the water, and said 
 nothing. 
 
136 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " I tell you what I remark," Riddel went on, sharpened 
 by Beaulieu's example, "Forbessy and Fitz-Gubin never 
 speak to each other, now I think of it." 
 
 " Let us come over and see what Forbessy's about," said 
 Beaulieu. " Do you know that * attempted assassination/ 
 as the papers would call it, has made me curious about one 
 or two things." 
 
 They moved across the poop, as he suggested. Forbessy 
 was leaning in the same place still, and watching the line of 
 shore. In the tranquillity of the night, the harbor and the 
 town, seen from the Sovereign's high poop, seemed to hang 
 like a curtain spangled with lights. Lights shifted to and 
 fro, and played in and out from houses, along the water's 
 edge from boats. It was the picture, perhaps, that For- 
 bessy was so interested in ; the picture of that stillness 
 pierced by those lights, under such a' sweet sky, and full of 
 so many associations. 
 
 Forbessy turned as the young men joined him. " What 
 a fine night it is," he said. 
 
 " You seem interested in the look of the town to-night," 
 said Beaulieu, good-naturedly. 
 
 " I was looking at at the town, in fact," replied our 
 friend rather vaguely. " What's the time, I wonder ? 
 About nine, I suppose ; and this is the fourteenth." 
 
 " This is the fourteenth," Riddel answered, " I believe. 
 I hope I shall hear from my aunt by next mail ! And now 
 I think of it, I shall go on shore this evening." So saying, 
 Mr. Riddel (whose ideas had been set into a new train by 
 the sudden reminiscence of his aunt) departed. 
 
 " Mr. Beaulieu," said Forbessy, turning round briskly 
 to that gentleman, with whom he was now left alone, " I 
 listened with interest to your story in the gun-room. Per- 
 mit me to tell you that there is danger to be apprehended 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 137 
 
 f 
 
 by you as I clearly see from the circumstances which you 
 recounted ; as, in fact, I may say, I know." 
 
 " Indeed," Beaulieu said, in a quiet and composed way ; 
 " really there seems an unwonted degree of mystery and an 
 unusual atmosphere of romance pervading H. M. S. Sove- 
 reign and Malta, just now." 
 
 " There is always more of both, everywhere, than people 
 readily believe," Forbessy said. " But, Mr. Beaulieu," he 
 continued, " I will open myself to you more frankly. We 
 have not been long in company in the ship ; nevertheless, 1 
 nave seen enough of you to know that you are melancholy 
 for want of definite convictions about life ; friendly, without 
 having confidants ; and but the rest might sound like 
 flattery suffice it to say that the rest gives interest to the 
 other phenomena I have observed !" 
 
 "Why," said Beaulieu, "you echo the very remarks 
 which I made, not half an hour ago, about yourself." 
 
 " Nature, then, intended us to be friends," said Forbessy. 
 
 " So be it," said Beaulieu. 
 
 As they walked together for half an hour in the moon- 
 light, arm and arm, Forbessy told Beaulieu a story which 
 interested him a good deal. What is needful for us to know 
 of it, we shall know at the proper time. Meanwhile, I 
 would just say, apropos of the eternal question of the age and 
 its reforms might we not, considering the many editions 
 of the De Amidtia which we possess ; and by way of doing 
 a little instalment towards reform of a more profound sort, 
 than giving expression to the enlightened wisdom of " ,10 
 householders ;" might we not, I say, achieve a little stroke 
 of " reform " by privately worshipping and recognizing, 
 more than we do, the antique sacredness of the sentiment 
 of friendship ? 
 
138 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THERE was a rumor spread about the circles of the Sove- 
 reign (for is not a line-of-battle ship a kind of town, and 
 with as many degrees and circles in it as any town of them 
 all ?) that Lord Fitz-Gubin had "got leave," and was go- 
 ing over to Sicily to shoot. He encouraged, however, no 
 curiosity that anybody might feel on the subject. In fact, 
 he withdrew himself, more than ever, from society in the 
 Sovereign. He kept his watch, dined when he did not 
 dine on shore at mess, and kept up, to be sure, an ac- 
 quaintance with Riddel, Siddlington, and others, and used 
 Cuckles, but slight was the intimacy which any of them at- 
 tained with him. If Siddlington had ever formed a vision 
 of himself as a guest at Castellan, and a successful wooer 
 of a Lady Eleanora there, Siddlington must, by the time 
 at which we have now arrived, have seen that it was a 
 vision indeed. Other Jacobs, whose dreams had revealed 
 to them ladders up to high life, had awakened too. The 
 impenetrable, selfish easiness, and mysterious and solitary, 
 yet common-place nature of Fitz-Gubin, kept everybody off. 
 Nay, a party actually formed to quiz him ! One or two 
 men used to try to draw him out by hypocritical devices, 
 encouraging the immense latent pride of the man to show 
 itself ; teasing him as you might tease a tortoise, and, per- 
 haps, by a sudden turn, toppling him over on his back, and 
 leaving him helpless ! For one of these conventional gen- 
 tlemen, once out of the protection of social convention, 
 rudely brought in contact with nature, is as helpless as a 
 tortoise in that position. Jigger once, seeing him with a 
 collar of unrivalled finish and stiffness, exclaimed, in his fine 
 bluff way, " Well, d n it, Fitz-Gubin, nothing does so take 
 in the public as an imposing gill !" Fitz-Gubin turned as 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 139 
 
 pale as death ! Another time the conversation was led to 
 the subject of expensive living in messes. Fitz-Gubin won- 
 dered, after some careful drawing-out from our wicked 
 clique, "how the deuce some fellows managed to live in the 
 service, now-a-days." By-and-by, in a moment of farther 
 encouragement, he said that " he would be worse off with 
 two hundred a-year than others with a third of it, having 
 his rank to keep up," and so forth. But he was very know- 
 ing in his way, and had once or twice seen glances pass be- 
 tween men which he did not like. Beaulieu, (the villain,) 
 who was "up" to the facts about the connection of the Fitz- 
 
 Gubins with P , showed an inclination to hint at that 
 
 old story one day, and it was all Forbessy could do to keep 
 him off the dangerous ground. Latterly, however, For- 
 bessy and Beaulieu, still more together than ever, put them- 
 selves less and less in Fitz-Gubin's way. Such was the 
 state of things when the above-mentioned rumor about his 
 shootiug expedition got wind. 
 
 The intimacy between Forbessy and Beaulieu caused a 
 good deal of curiosity among the gentlemen of the Sove- 
 reign. What would a mess be without those combinations 
 and antipathies, those personal likes and dislikes which 
 divide its society, and give piquancy to its daily life ! A 
 large mess is like a town, and its society includes as many 
 conflicting elements. Often there is an intrigue going for- 
 ward a mystery slowly evolving itself of which numbers 
 of those who breakfast and dine together, day after day, 
 never have a suspicion. Poor Charley Wremond dies, and 
 we learn that he had run away with a ward in Chancery, 
 and had a family of little ones of whose existence we never 
 dreamed. No wonder Charley was wont to be serious at 
 times when we were piqued at his being " slow !" Jack 
 Montacute is going to fight a duel with Sandwich the next 
 port we come to ; but they must dine together meanwhile, 
 
140 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 and nobody must guess that there is anything of the kind 
 meditated between them. What made Bellomorit so 
 friendly with Tangueray ? He was his natural brother, my 
 dear sir ; hence the peculiar felicity of Bung's constant joke 
 about the likeness between them ! Yes, romance underlies 
 us everywhere in society, as the mystery of life underlies the 
 fair city and country life we mingle in, and the existence we 
 enjoy ; to both, however, the fool (to his gain, and also to 
 his loss) is blind and deaf. 
 
 Forbessy and Beaulieu are sitting at the stern ports of 
 the gun-room early in the morning. It is near the hour for 
 taking a shore-boat to Bighi Bay to bathe. A marine is 
 cleaning Fitz-Gubin's gun ; an operation watched with inte- 
 rest by one or two men who happened to be up as early as our 
 friends. He performs the operation in their presence, and 
 in the mess-room ; for, of course, they must take an inte- 
 rest in anything belonging to so notable a man. 
 
 Latimer watches the process ; remarks that' he thinks 
 Fitz-Grubin will have a fine time of it ; and, by-the-by, where 
 is he going to shoot ? Is he going to Sicily, or where ? 
 
 Forbessy looked at Beaulieu in that d d mysterious 
 
 way (I borrow this expression from Latimer) in which these 
 gentlemen occasionally interchanged glances. They rose 
 presently, and made for the door. 
 
 " Going to bathe ?" Latimer called out. Beaulieu waved 
 a towel in his hand, by way of answer ; and in a minute 
 they were in a shore-boat. Out glided the heavy green and 
 yellow boat, with awning spread, from the Sovereign's side 
 towards the harbor's mouth the faithful Maltese (for the 
 Maltese is among the most devoted and obedient of man- 
 kind, when kindly treated) rising and falling as he plied the 
 oars, industrious and contented. " Bighi, sir ?" he asks. 
 " Yes, Jocko," says Beaulieu, good-naturedly enough, (for 
 B. is a gentleman in all ways,) but with the same kindness 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 141 
 
 with which he would give an apple to a monkey ; for B. is 
 an Englishman, dealing with a subject of another race. 
 
 Forbessy and Beaulieu said little at first. The morn- 
 ing was opening up into a fine day. They were content to 
 see the forts relieve with their deep hues the blue monotony 
 of the sea the life spreading itself along the harbor's 
 edges the stately masts of the few men-of-war in harbor 
 tapering away into the sky and to let the picture sink into 
 their minds in peace. The boat with a heavy motion drew 
 farther and farther out, and the Maltese brushed away his 
 curly hair, and paused a moment. 
 
 " That's her !" said Forbessy, suddenly. 
 
 Beaulieu looked up, and saw in the line of the pointed 
 finger a merchant-brig lying. There was nothing peculiar 
 in her appearance to distinguish her from any Annie Jane or 
 Isabella Briggs sent out by our country. 
 
 "Row to the brig," said Beaulieu to their boatman, point- 
 ing to her. The Maltese obeyed, and soon brought them 
 close to her. A head popped over the side with no very 
 welcome expression, and said, "What d'ye want, master? 77 
 
 "Go alongside/' said Forbessy to the Maltese, and with- 
 out giving the head any answer, up jumped Beaulieu, up 
 jumped Forbessy, and stood on the brig's deck. The head 
 which was no less a head than a skipper's was set on a 
 short little carcase. The skipper was no-way pleased to 
 see his visitors, but, with hands in pockets, looked up at 
 them, inquiringly 
 
 "You take passengers," said Beaulieu, glancing round 
 with a cool air of observation. 
 
 "There you're wrong," said the short skipper, briefly. 
 
 " You never take passengers, eh?" asked Beaulieu. 
 
 "There you're wrong again," said the little skipper. 
 
 "Your ears are longer than your tongue, I think, my 
 good man," said Beaulieu, ineffably cool, and with the 
 
142 SWELL LITE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 "great air" which he knew Low to put on. "But waiving 
 any attempts at epigram, which are ludicrously unsuited to 
 your social position, suppose you show us your cabin ?" 
 
 "We come from the Sovereign, I may mention," put in 
 Forbessy, carelessly 
 
 " Oh !" The little skipper began looking round, and 
 assuming a very knowing expression "Friends of Lord 
 Fitz-Gubin's, I see 1" 
 
 The eyes of our friends met instanter. 
 
 " So far so good," said Beaulieu, enigmatically. " Let 
 us see the cabin, then." 
 
 The skipper paused. " Did you say friends of Lord Fitz- 
 Gubin's, sir ?" asked the skipper. 
 
 "Skipper!" said Beaulieu, "I did not say so. Permit 
 me, however, to make it plain that we must see your cabin. 
 Why, I ought not to explain : I may want a passage. If 
 you wish me to say more, I have more to say; but I will 
 be content with a look at your cabin." 
 
 The skipper hesitated, but he yielded. They followed 
 him down his cabin ladder. 
 
 " There, now, gentlemen, Lord Fitz-Gubin's taken that 
 berth ; that I s'pose you know." 
 
 There was nothing specially curious about the place des- 
 tined to receive Fitz-Gubin. It was not so luxurious as 
 one would suppose Fitz-Gubin would wish it to be. They 
 looked at it and paused. The skipper seemed puzzled and 
 uneasy, and watched them. 
 
 "When do you sail?" asked Beaulieu abruptly. 
 
 "I think to-night." 
 
 " Well," said Beaulieu, suddenly becoming quite free-and- 
 easy in his manner, "I dare say Fitz-Gubin will have a 
 nice passage of it. A devilish pleasant cabin you have. 
 He dines with you, no doubt finds his own wine takes 
 the run of your prog and will have a fowl occasionally, if 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 113 
 
 the hen-coops are not washed overboard. We need not 
 wait, I think," said Beaulieu, with a twinkle of his eye at 
 Forbessy. 
 
 The skipper brightened up, and a weight seemed taken 
 off his mind. 
 
 " Skipper 1" said Beaulieu, fixing his eyes upon him with 
 a look like a rapier thrust, " where do you stow lady pas- 
 sengers ?" 
 
 The little man gave a start back. He was so manifestly 
 upset that there was no concealing it. " Who are you sir ?" 
 he said, "and what do you want with me? That's what 
 I want to know." 
 
 "My good man, I am an officer in her Majesty's service, 
 who takes some interest in the brig Victor. You must 
 have seen that I know what I am about, and am not to be 
 trifled with. First, you must show me the cabin taken for 
 a young lady some weeks ago ; second, you had better say 
 nothing about this visit ; third, you had better sail at your 
 appointed time, and not mind about all your passengers 
 being on board : you know whom you expect first 1" 
 
 The skipper made no resistance nor remonstrance. He 
 showed them into the cabin. Forbessy came with Beaulieu 
 to the door of it. Truly it was a snug little nest with a 
 snow-white little crib wherein a fairy might nestle, and be 
 lulled by the murmur of the sea. Forbessy peeped in in 
 silence, and turned away with a sigh. Beaulieu moved 
 away, drawing the skipper by the arm ; in that instant 
 Forbessy slipped a letter under the pillow. 
 
 As they got on deck, Beaulieu gave his card to the skip- 
 per, and said, " Some day I may do you a turn if you be- 
 have yourself ; meanwhile, good morning !" But the little 
 man expressed no cordial wish that they should ever meet 
 again ; they saw his head at the gangway as they were rowed 
 away, watching them, unmoved, till it dwindled to a speck. 
 
144 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Meanwhile, breakfast was laid in the gun-room. Up from 
 the cockpit came the fellows of the mess. Here was lively 
 Riddel, polite Siddlington, artful Cuckles, Latimer the sim- 
 ple, and Manton the gruff, with many more. Rasper, the 
 steward's assistant, brings endless eggs ; Riddel, the extra- 
 vagant, orders wine. Now is the hour for reminiscences of 
 last night, and endless varieties of squadron news. Now 
 glide away, with various expressions of face, the infinite 
 varieties also of the genus Dun. Pallid but pertinacious 
 Tosta, eager and pimpled Sarjan, humorous but inflexible 
 Baldero, you have been dodging about the cockpit the last 
 hour ; it is now time for you to go. Most implicitly do I 
 believe you when you say you will call to-morrow ! 
 
 The eggs, the squadron, the duns are discussed together. 
 " Gad 1 I dreamed last night I paid Baldero !" said a 
 youngster, chipping his egg. 
 
 " You fellows affect duns," said Riddel. " You think it fine 
 to be dunned. Mark me, lads, the day will come when the 
 fun will vanish out of these bills, and leave a balance you 
 won't like !" 
 
 Everybody is impressed, for everybody feels that the 
 speaker ought to know. 
 
 But at this moment enter Fitz-Gubin. Forbessy and 
 Beaulieu both look at him. You might see Forbessy's lip 
 quiver if you cared to watch him. Fitz-Gubin is in mufti 
 bran-new semi-sporting rig. He is a little pale, but this 
 may be our fancy, who have been peeping at his secrets j 
 yes, he is a litte pale, and has a more serious expression than 
 usual. He takes his usual seat up among the leading sen- 
 iors, with the usual quiet mechanical air of superiority, and 
 the steward (whose aristocratic predilections are well 
 known) attends to him in person. Fitz-Gubin eats an egg, 
 consumes toast, drinks a cup of tea ; then remarks, that the 
 day seems fine, and wonders whether the breeze will hold. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 145 
 
 Fitz-Gubin threw out a remark occasionally to an audi- 
 ence, as one scatters crumbs to birds, with a careless good- 
 nature that seemed to say, " Eat, and be filled." Cuckles 
 hastened to observe, that the day was fine, and to hope that 
 the breeze would hold. 
 
 "Think of going to-day?" called out Beaulieu. Fitz- 
 Gubin did not hear him. Beaulieu kept his eye fixed in a 
 somewhat impressive manner on him ; so Cuckles, fearing 
 mischief, called his attention to Beaulieu. 
 
 " I beg your pardon, Mr. Beaulieu ?" Fitz-Gubin's man- 
 ner was, indeed, tremendous in its politeness. Bung was 
 awed, and tried to imitate the style, afterwards, at the grog 
 tub. 
 
 " Are you going to-day ?" repeated Beaulieu. 
 
 " Perhaps so. My intentions are not quite definite." 
 Bung was lost in admiration ; Cuckles felt himself ele- 
 vated. 
 
 Beaulieu said no more, at that moment, and Cuckles and 
 others doubted not that he felt himself rebuked. And so 
 breakfast passed off, and men dispersed. 
 
 Breakfast once well over, our friends Forbessy aud Beau- 
 lieu disappeared. We, however, who know what they are 
 about, will follow them on shore. They march briskly 
 through several streets, and pause at a place where horses 
 are to be had. All the way along, Forbessy has been seri- 
 ous, not to say gloomy. He has carried on a kind of mon- 
 ologue, to which Beaulieu has listened with the faithful 
 patience of a friend. 
 
 " There," says Forbessy, " there was the street. That 
 was the church. A church, by-the-by, which is an emblem 
 of all Europe ; for over the graves of dead earnestness and 
 greatness, populace gather, and boobies prate. (I saw 
 Bagman, Esq., there, with a party one morning, making 
 notes for an anti-superstitious harangue, and grinning in 
 
 7 
 
146 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 pitiable idiocy, and with perfect ignorance, over the graves 
 of the knights.) Some day I may tell you all that has 
 passed in my head and heart, since I took part in this little 
 drama, of which the catastrophe approaches. Beaulieu, 
 my dear fellow, you shall see her to-day 1" 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THEY were now cantering through the gates, past the 
 fortifications, with their green turf and their solid stone, 
 which form the hem of the garment of that sea-damsel, Ya- 
 letta. Before them lies the stony landscape, which we 
 described the other day, basking in mild autumn hues. 
 They turn into a narrow road, and make for an unfrequent- 
 ed village. A dog barks ; some children rush out ; a crone, 
 reposing under the shadow of a chapel, wakes up, and 
 stares, and grasps her crutch. But, in a moment, she 
 slumbers again, as quietly as the dry and dusty trees which 
 front a small row of little white houses ; as quaintly, too, 
 as yonder wooden saint, perched up in a box with glass 
 windows at the corner. 
 
 " Why, the whole village is asleep," exclaimed Forbessy. 
 Indeed, it looked like it. But Forbessy, riding close up to 
 the windows of a house, tapped with the butt-end of his 
 whip at them. A sleepy and also woolly head appeared 
 there, staring as if still in a dream, then vanished, and out 
 from the door appeared a Maltese, and proceeded to offer 
 his services to hold the horses. They dismounted. Beau- 
 lieu took Forbessy's arm, resigning himself to his command, 
 and they strolled through the little place enjoying the after- 
 noon air. The houses forming the village were grouped 
 together so fantastically, and without order ; trees shooting 
 up amongst them j bits of garden dividing them, with ^ 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 147 
 
 effect so careless and unsystematic, that you might fancy 
 that the whole had been scattered by the hand of a flying 
 deity en route to Greece. The chapel had somehow got 
 planted in the centre, and seemed to hold itself up as an en- 
 sign for the houses to rally round. There was a time when 
 the chapel was that everywhere. 
 
 "This village," said Forbessy, taking a firmer clasp of 
 his friend's arm, " enjoyed' some patronage during the days 
 of the Order. The knights came out here occasionally as 
 a change ; some of them had houses here. In this little 
 place, for instance, I recognize the relics of a gentleman's 
 dwelling." 
 
 So saying, Forbessy opened a garden gate, and followed 
 by his friend, marched in. The house stood apart from the 
 village, and had, indeed, an air, even in decay, of former 
 better fortune. The garden still boasted trees of orange 
 and of almond. And among the wild grass, which sprang 
 up rank over the ruins of a wall, there were fragments of 
 stone of which the carved and shapely proportions indicated 
 that they had formed part of structures, when the occupiers 
 loved beauty. 
 
 "By Annabel!" said Beaulieu, rather affectedly, "a 
 pleasant place enough ! One sometimes fancies one could 
 live in such places, and be very very virtuous and romantic ; 
 but one comes back to civilization and milk punch." 
 
 "Yes," said Forbessy, "couldn't one lie on the grass 
 with a pipe in one's mouth, and hear the Castle of Indolence 
 read by somebody ? But here she comes !" 
 
 As he spoke, the door opened ; the porch, overgrown 
 with roses, which were waving and falling in heaps, vibrated. 
 A little boy came skipping out, ran up to Forbessy with 
 perfect familiarity, and hailed him as "Missa Forbessy/' 
 most intimately. 
 
 Forbessy lifted him up, and played with him, to the im- 
 
148 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OB, 
 
 mense amusement of Beaulieu. "Marie come directly," 
 said the youngster. 
 
 " Who asked you about Marie, enfant terrible?" For- 
 bessy said. Beaulieu smiled, and admired the fatherly air 
 of Forbessy, who made himself at home, and produced from 
 his pocket certain duldaria for the juvenile, quite like a 
 veteran. 
 
 The door opened again. This time, there appeared in 
 the garden a little thin old man in black, with a skull cap 
 on. What linen was visible on the old gentleman was not 
 very clean, and time had played havoc with his teeth. But 
 his head was good ; his face was the peasant face, tempered 
 by the priestly position, and by drilling since boyhood, the 
 common priest-face of Malta. 
 
 "Father Simola, my friend Mr. Beaulieu," said Forbessy. 
 
 Father Simola was very polite. Father Simola had ac- 
 quired English. He looked at Beaulieu, and then he said, 
 rubbing his hands together, " Is your friend from Lancashire 
 like yourself?" 
 
 "No," said Forbessy. "No, Father Simola. He wants 
 to know if you are one of the but never mind," he con- 
 tinued rather abruptly. Forbessy treated the Father with 
 a great deal of good-natured courtesy, though the old gen- 
 tleman made but a small figure in conversation ; was, indeed, 
 the ordinary, unromantic priest- of the lower orders, and up 
 to the calibre of the little chapel. 
 
 More arrivals two or three more younkers, among 
 whom at last sailed out our young friend, Marie Polonai. 
 Beaulieu was all eyes ; he had never seen her before, and 
 when he first found her one of their group, and standing 
 tranquilly before Forbessy and the Father, he scarcely knew 
 what to say she was so much more beautiful so very 
 superior in all ways to his anticipations. Forbessy, who 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 149 
 
 had shaken hands with her in a brotherly manner, when she 
 first appeared in the garden, presented Beaulieu to her. 
 Beaulien was struck by nothing so much (not even by her 
 eyes, which were miraculous, and which I should despair of 
 describing) as by the utter naturalness of her manner. This 
 was what delighted all competent observers in Marie Polo- 
 nai. She was as natural as a rose, if I may be permitted 
 such a comparison ; that is, she was always equally delight- 
 ful ; equally in her place, singing, talking, running, dancing ; 
 all her actions flowed from a central beauty of which they 
 partook, and while you wondered at her perfection, and 
 strove to account for it, you found criticism to merge at 
 last into mere assent, and were contented with the fact 
 without puzzling yourself with the " why." 
 
 The youngsters brought seats. They sat down and tran- 
 quilly basked in the afternoon, of which Forbessy seemed 
 to cherish every passing moment. The wind blew a few 
 rose-leaves from the mass at the porch, which scattered 
 themselves all over Marie, and fell about her. 
 
 " Oh ! that wind," said Forbessy. " I hate the wind ! 
 It carries away good fellows like Beaulieu and me from all 
 we love sailors are its slaves. It does the evil work of 
 autumn, for it carries the flowers and leaves away long be- 
 fore autumn has altogether ruined them, and while they are 
 first tinged with a new beauty by it. It is going to take 
 Marie away, as it has just done the roses !" 
 
 " Yes, but the wind that takes me can, by and by, bring 
 you,' 7 said Marie in a low voice. 
 
 Forbessy looked up at her, but said nothing. 
 
 " How glad your father will be to see you, Marie," said 
 Father Simola, simply. 
 
 " He will. He is to take me to Naples. I am to learn 
 to sing. The ladies Wyoming say that I already sing like 
 an angel." 
 
150 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " These ladies," said Father Simola, alluding with severity 
 to their plans of conversion, " are not good ladies." 
 
 " They are very kind. They wished me to begin a new 
 worship, it is true. I told them worship is worship, and be- 
 longs to the heart. I cannot argue, but, already, if I am 
 good, I know how to pray. Every day, after I have seen 
 them, I have seen Father Simola ; he can argue ; and I 
 have known him since a little girl ; but the ladies Wyoming 
 will not see Father Simola !" 
 
 Beaulieu smiled. " You are a good girl," said Father 
 Simola. 
 
 The little boy came running up, laughing and shouting. 
 Something new was evidently about to begin ; and Beau- 
 lieu looking up, saw a party of Maltese approaching. 
 Forbessy and the others were ready to receive them. For- 
 bessy shook hands with one or two, and Beaulieu observed 
 that they all treated him with great respect, and seemed to 
 know him quite well. Beaulieu felt the scene new, and as 
 he strolled about the garden, fancied himself a seigneur 
 presiding at the festival of his peasantry. 
 
 " But, my good fellow," said Beaulieu, recognizing a face 
 which he had seen before, " surely you and I have met 
 somewhere ? If I mistake not, it was on an occasion when 
 you wanted me to taste your knife 1" 
 
 The Maltese smiled and bowed very low. " Pardon me, 
 sar I think it was !" Then, again taking off his cap and 
 bowing very low indeed, he twisted round and shot away to 
 another part of the garden. 
 
 Beaulieu stood watching them. Father Simola, who 
 drew near, said, " They all adore Marie ! she is the pride 
 of their whole neighborhood, she is so kind and good she 
 is so modest and gifted ; they would kill any one who they 
 thought would insult her." And so the old padre rattled 
 on about the gifts and graces of the girl, and the worship 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 151 
 
 of her by the Maltese. Some of them had formed a band 
 of worshippers, and were pledged to guard her and so 
 forth. 
 
 But the afternoon was wearing away. The pale rose- 
 colored fire was already spreading itself over the west. It 
 was time to go. Beaulieu was conducted with many de- 
 monstrations of politeness to his horse ; Forbessy lingered 
 a few minutes, and then followed. Waving his whip to 
 Beaulieu, he motioned him to follow at a gallop ; and for 
 many minutes they clattered on in silence. At last For- 
 bessy pulled up and began to talk before any questions were 
 asked him. 
 
 " A strange episode eh ? You observed how much 
 alone I was, and how much occupied by unshared thoughts, 
 till you and I discovered each other, as I may justly call it ? 
 Accident threw me in the way of that charming being. I 
 made acquaintance with her family, chiefly by favor of that 
 old priest, whom but no matter at present about my rela- 
 tion to him. I was interested by her genius for it is genius 
 which gives that air of superiority to her manner, and which 
 raises it above her birth. She will be a great artist ; and 
 I hope the world will never spoil her. Well, I almost im- 
 mediately discovered the designs of our gentleman from 
 shire, and for weeks I have amused myself by counter- 
 acting them keeping him from possibly coming in contact 
 with her, just as a gardener would keep a slug or caterpillar 
 from his flowers. The gentleman from shire, (by Jove ! 
 I could give you a capital history of the Fitz-Gubins. Ours 
 was one of the families which their patriarch Gubbins man- 
 aged to mano3uvre out of shire) saw Marie once at 
 
 night, in Valetta, and once at the Wyomings, who patron- 
 ized her as a barn-door fowl might patronize a nightingale. 
 He puts you in danger by haunting her dwelling at all 
 hours ; but never saw her again. He sent her letters, 
 
152 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 which she handed over to old Simola, who used to barn 
 them with much ceremony, and cross himself afterwards. 
 And (here Forbessy laughed) he employed what he calls 
 ' a cad ? to convey those epistles, who, by the way of keep- 
 ing up a lucrative employment, got somebody to write an- 
 swers ; and Fitz-Gubin lived in the conviction that he was 
 encouraged. He sent her bracelets and a locket ; and I 
 am sorry to say that old Simola sent these off yesterday to 
 the Wyomings, for their friend the ' Lord Fizzgubbing" as 
 he calls him. This I did not know in time to prevent 
 it, which I would have done for their sakes. The final 
 step you already know viz., that having learned the how 
 and when of the girFs departure, he got leave to go for a 
 trip, and took a cabin in the Victor a fact of which she has 
 no knowledge intending to give her a delightful surprise, 
 and have a pleasant cruise as the irresistible Fitz-Gubin \" 
 
 " Upon my word, a devilish pleasant programme 1" said 
 Beaulieu. 
 
 "A word of this notable scheme would have caused some 
 friends of Marie's to do what would have stopped Fitz- 
 Gufiin's career, perhaps, finally ; but then the service is to 
 be considered. No ; we must stop him ourselves. I owe 
 that ' great family ? a grudge, and shan't be sorry to punish 
 him." 
 
 Little does the solid BULDER think what plots are being 
 plotted, what a secret life is transacting itself under the 
 brilliant surface of his lighted saloons this autumn night ! 
 Let us be thankful that we do not see society as the micro- 
 scope shows us a bright drop of water, with ugly objects 
 preying on each other in its heart 1 Let us be thankful for 
 its apparent brightness and purity, and topple it off without 
 applying the microscope ; at least, without applying it al- 
 ways. Pass on, stout Mr. Bulder ; thou art a good-natured, 
 hospitable old gentleman, happy among thy guests, not de- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 153 
 
 voured by secret anxieties, nor bored by those whom thou 
 entertainest. Glance at Lady Ostrich the beautiful ; is 
 she not happy ? Is not everybody happy here ? Listen to 
 the music the embodiment of luxury and romance is it 
 produced by a band who hate the party for taking them 
 away from their pipes at the canteen ? Has the apparent 
 happiness a secret fact lurking under its production, like 
 that fact about the music ? It may be so. But carpe diem. 
 Wine will give you a headache ; but, if you do not take 
 wine, you may yet have a headache to-morrow. 
 
 Beaulieu and Forbessy were both dancing. Beaulieu 
 always danced ; it pleased the people of the house, and, 
 after all, did not bore him much. But regularly as each 
 quadrille was over, he and Forbessy glided together. Ne- 
 ver, for any length of time, did they lose sight of Fitz-Gubin. 
 The "Wyomings were there ; but Fitz-Gubin did not dance, 
 and avoided them. His eyes once met Forbessy's, but no 
 sign of recognition passed ; but Forbessy and Beaulieu re- 
 marked how easily he carried himself how well he hid 
 under his calm exterior the secret excitement which must 
 have been at his heart. 
 
 Forbessy grew restless. Beaulieu again and again sooth- 
 ed him. So long as Fitz-Gubin remained in the room, (as 
 he urged,) all was well. Presently, Beaulieu approached 
 Forbessy, and whispered to him, " Come." 
 
 When they stood outside on the landing place, Beaulieu 
 
 said, "A man of the gives a supper at the hotel . 
 
 Fitz-Gubin is to be there. I have got myself and you 
 asked, at the last moment. Fitz-Gubin is evidently to start 
 from there. I met Siddlington, just now, and drew from 
 him carelessly, that he had formally begun his leave, and 
 left the Sovereign. So let us off to the hotel, and manage 
 the affair as quietly as we can." 
 
 They were the last arrivals. The party consisted of some 
 7* 
 
154 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 fifteen men. As they entered the room, Fitz-Gubin was 
 talking away ; and, though we know that he had himself 
 under tolerable control, he did not look pleased when he 
 saw our friends enter. They were the only men of the 
 Sovereign present, and just the two men of the Sovereign 
 whom he least knew, or least cared to meet. 
 
 " Mr. Beaulieu, and Mr. Forbessy," said the good-natured 
 host, " messmates of Fitz-Gubin's, I think ? This way I 
 Will you begin with a quail ? What wine, Beaulieu ? 
 Fitz-Gubin, you don't drink 1" 
 
 They sat down ; some gentlemen had begun to drink evi- 
 dently pretty early. Wine of the best sorts was plentiful 
 enough : the supper comprised all that Malta can afford ; 
 and Malta is not poor in that department. Bones from the 
 funeral pyres of gallant turkeys (ossa perusta, a Latin poet 
 would call them) came up in quick relays ; the pleasant 
 quail on his bed of toast ; the piquant becafico, who nou- 
 rishes his fine soul on the romantic fig, awaited the appetite 
 and excited to wine ; while for the mere sentimental dawdler, 
 fruit and liqueurs offered their voluptuous charms. When 
 you had exhausted every sense of the palate, you could still 
 seek coolness and forgetfulness in some iced punch punch 
 as attractive and exciting as the eyes of houris. 
 
 There was a great deal of drinking. Two or three fel- 
 lows early babbled, and became merely bores. Forbessy 
 drank, too ; but the pre-occupation of his mind kept him 
 from being overcome ; wine only strung up and sharpened 
 his faculties, and intensified his sense of past, present, and 
 future. The conversation (when the two or three babblers 
 fell asleep) became fixed among a few, and the rest list- 
 ened. 
 
 " But come, Fitz-Gubin come ; about this last adven- 
 ture, you know ! You were shaying ?" began a young 
 gentleman, whose hair was fast getting into his eyes. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 155 
 
 " Fitz-Gubin, you don't drink ?" said the host. 
 
 " Your last, what d'ye call it, ye know?" continued the 
 speaker. 
 
 " Oh, nothing very extraordinary I" said Fitz-Gubin, with 
 an intolerably conceited manner. " I'm an old stager. 
 When I was in South America ah, never mind I Poor 
 little Madeline !" 
 
 "Wouldn't she have you, then ?" called out Beaulieu. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin did not take any notice of him. Beaulieu, 
 who was drinking pretty hard, poured some moselle into his 
 tumbler, and drank it off. 
 
 " About Madeline ?" called out Beaulieu, very loudly. 
 
 " No no ; about the new one. I say, Fitz-Gubin, let 
 us hear about her. Are her eyes blue ?" asked the first 
 speaker, with a determined and most serious air. 
 
 " No ; charming dark eyes ; nice as the Spanish girls." 
 
 " Sit down, Forbessy, for God's sake ! and wait a little V 9 
 whispered Beaulieu, for Forbessy was turning pale and very 
 serious. 
 
 " Oh, hang dark eyes ; give me blue eyes !" said the 
 aforesaid young gentleman, looking round with an imbecile 
 expression. 
 
 " Fitz-Gubin, you don't drink ?" said the host, once 
 more. 
 
 " I mustn't drink : I'm going to sail at daylight." 
 
 " Sail at daylight?" inquired somebody. 
 
 " Gentlemen," cried Beaulieu, " fill your glasses." 
 
 The roar with which he said this, accompanied by a 
 thump which made all the glasses ring, startled the whole 
 table. Wine, punch, all conceivable liquors were poured 
 out sherry by some, into champagne and brandy by some, 
 into sherry as the mad genius of the hour dictated. Beau- 
 lieu stood up, with a tumbler full to the brim of wine, bal- 
 ancing himself with a slight lurch. " Gentlemen, I propose 
 
156 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 a toast. I propose one of the most beautiful and innocent 
 creatures God ever made 1" Here there was an immense 
 noise, with wild outcries and the crashing of glass. " The 
 man who does not drink it, shall rue the hour. Gentlemen, 
 Marie Polonai ! Forbessy, return thanks 1" 
 
 "Marie Polonai!" screamed a dozen voices, and again 
 there was a noise which shook the room. ."Who is she?" 
 called out several men. " Forbessy !" roared others. 
 
 Fitz-Gubin had started to his feet, like a man shot in the 
 heart, and stood up speechless and pale with surprise. 
 Forbessy had done the same, and, as the noise died away, 
 the two stood there facing each other ; men, sober enough 
 to judge, saw that in the look of the two faces, as they met, 
 there was deadly mischief. 
 
 "Do you drink that toast, Lord Fitz-Gubin?" Forbessy 
 asked. 
 
 "I drink it ! You surprise me, sir, by asking me about 
 any proceeding of mine. Capt. Bechamel thank you for 
 your hospitality : it is late and I must bid you good night." 
 
 " Lord Fitz-Gubin, you leave not this room to sail in the 
 Victor : mark me, to sail in the Victor, I say ! If you are 
 
 such a craven as " 
 
 This was the one thing needed to make the scene com- 
 plete. Like a handful of powder falling on a fire, the room 
 went into a blaze. Noises of every kind caused a scene of 
 extreme confusion. Fitz-Gubin lost himself in spite of his 
 caution ; there were fatal words, and a scuffle. 
 
 "Now," said Captain Bechamel, "nothing remains but 
 to separate for the evening, and postpone all necessary 
 ulterior proceedings till the proper time. After what has 
 passed, of course, Lord Fitz-Gubin will see the propriety 
 of remaining in Malta, till the matter has come to its pro- 
 per termination." 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 151 
 
 The next day after this scene, the mail from England 
 arrived, with (among other novelties) Fitz-Gubin's promo- 
 tion to the rank of lieutenant. This brought a new ele- 
 ment into the matter. Explanations memoranda notes 
 recapitulations, and botherations of all kinds passed between 
 the parties in the quarrel and their representatir es. Finally, 
 everybody was "satisfied." But to this hour it is the opin- 
 ion of Fitz-Gubin that Malta is a d d hole ! 
 
CRUISE OF THE IDA. 
 
 FROM COLBURN'S UNITED SERVICE MAGAZINE FOR APRIL. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 HOME. 
 
 I LOOK upon money," said my father, filling out for him- 
 self a glass of port wine, and pushing the decanter to- 
 wards me, " to be the root of all evil." 
 
 " The love of it, you mean ?" said my mother, with that 
 meek, inquiring smile with which she was wont to question 
 the paradoxes put forth by her better half. 
 
 " The want of it, by Jove, Sir, 'the res angusta domij is 
 unquestionably far more prolific of real misfortune," inter- 
 rupted I, with all the pertness of a youngster. 
 
 "Make money honestly, if you can, my boy," replied my 
 father. " If you can't, I would not recommend the ' quocun- 
 que modo.' It will be quite the same to you, a hundred 
 years from this day, whether you were clothed in purple 
 and fine linen, and drove down in your carriage to ' the 
 House,' listened to a few drowsy speeches, and returned to 
 a sumptuous banquet in Belgravia ; or whether you swept 
 a crossing for sixpence a day, and dined off broken victuals, 
 the tenant in common of a lodging in St. Giles 7 . You won't 
 fare a bit the worse in the next world because you are poor 
 in this." 
 
 " Ah 1" said my mother, " that is all very well, once we 
 get there; but does it not make some difference while we are 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 159 
 
 here ? You would not be sitting in that comfortable arm- 
 chair, beside that cheerful fire, and beside me, if you had 
 nothing but a crossing to sweep." 
 
 " I think, Sir, it is Lord Bacon who says : 'There can be 
 no stronger proof of the slender value which Providence 
 sets upon money, than the sort of people he gives it to / 
 but at the same time, I am rather inclined to agree with 
 my mother, that a deficiency in the commodity is a much 
 worse thing than too much of it." 
 
 "Pish !" replied my father, cracking a filbert, and adjust- 
 ing his napkin across, his knees, "the subject is one not 
 unworthy of grave discussion ; much can be said on both 
 sides. The influence money has upon the destinies of man- 
 kind whether in the individual or the abstract is all- 
 important. A scrutiny into the pecuniary dealings of any 
 one person, from the cradle to the grave, would not only 
 be a complete history of his life, but when we come to con- 
 sider the vices and the virtues with which it is connected 
 dishonesty, extravagance, intemperance, profligacy, frugal- 
 ity, and self-denial, the corruption that follows upon the 
 love of it, the industry which is sweetened by its acquisi- 
 tion, the vicissitudes that follow in its train there can be 
 no doubt that such an investigation would hold a perfect 
 mirror up to nature, and exhibit the man as he really is 
 behind the scenes, not as he moves and plays his part before 
 the public, on the great stage of human life." 
 
 My mother looked upon her lord with an admiring eye, 
 as he refreshed his eloquence with another glass of the 
 generous liquid, gave a preparatory "hem," and continued 
 
 "'Blessed is the rich that is found without blemish, and 
 hath not gone after gold/ There are few who come within 
 the range of this benediction ; a thousand temptations a 
 thousand snares beset his path who is born to opulence ; 
 wealth will alter his mind the desire of gain grows by 
 
160 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 what it feeds on it is seldom associated with nobler 
 objects ; and I look upon the mercantile spirit of the age, 
 I mean the mere investment of money, for the sake of repro- 
 duction, to be one of the strongest and most fatal signs of 
 the utter degeneracy of the times. Therefore, my son, I 
 think it is just as well for you, whether as regards your 
 temporal or your eternal welfare, that you will not inherit 
 anything from me ; the best patrimony I can leave you, is 
 a true heart, a good education, and a strong will. Let these 
 temper the edge of that sword with which you will carve 
 your way through the battle of life. You will find the 
 road open to you, as easily as the oyster of ancient Pistol, 
 or this filbert which I split with my knife." 
 
 Having thus concluded his discourse, my father carefully 
 raked the under-bar of the fire, upon which he threw a fresh 
 faggot of log-firs, and having crossed his legs and folded up 
 the napkin that lay on his knee, he leaned back in his easy 
 chair, and went off into a gentle slumber. 
 
 Let us take a glance at him, reader, as he is enjoying his 
 post-prandial nap. There are no candles upon the square, 
 small, old-fashioned table, with its quaintly carved legs, 
 which stands upon the hearth-rug. Nor is there any other 
 light in the room, save that emitted from the ample fire, 
 whose flashing rays, dancing up the chimney, threw out in 
 strong relief the outlines of the form reposing in the old 
 arm-chair. It was that of a large, powerfully-built, and 
 handsome man, in the decline of life ; a few thin silver 
 hairs were all that remained around the temples, and the 
 features, even in repose, seemed strongly marked by the 
 traces of care as well as of years well might they but 
 with the vicissitudes of his life, these pages have little 
 to do. 
 
 I have set down the conversation just recorded, in order 
 to show my father's nature ; it will be sufficient to demon- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 161 
 
 strate that slender regard he attached to those objects for 
 which the generality of men so eagerly strive. Of a care- 
 less, frank, and confiding nature, his easiness of temper had 
 been his besetting sin. Having allowed himself to become 
 involved as surety for some distant relations, he was left to 
 pay the penalty of his imprudence ; and, although of our 
 family property a sufficient margin still remained to afford 
 even the comforts of life, his income was reduced to little 
 more than half of what it originally had been. My eldest 
 brother had been brought up to the bar, where he was 
 slowly but surely wending his way to independence. 
 
 I had been educated at home, under the eye of my father, 
 who, although a simple-minded man in some respects, was a 
 ripe and elegant scholar. Being of a contemplative nature, 
 I had long brooded over the difficulties in which my family 
 were involved, and I had meditated endeavoring to push 
 my fortunes in some mysterious way, as the tales and histo- 
 ries with which I was familiar had taught me people did in 
 the olden time. My passion for reading was., intense, and 
 plays, voyages, and travels, were my principal studies ; and 
 I had almost by heart, Captain Bligh's narrative of his voy- 
 age to the South Sea Islands, and his account of the mutiny 
 of the crew. Our library was a tolerably extensive one, 
 and afforded ample materials for the indulgence of my favor- 
 ite taste. But in time I had exhausted these and, so insa- 
 tiable was my appetite, that I seized upon every occasion 
 for borrowing and collecting other books, and every leisure 
 moment for reading them. Those in which our library was 
 deficient I generally procured at Silverthorne, where one of 
 my mother's sisters resided, whose husband, Sir William 
 Herbert, a distinguished officer, had amassed a considerable 
 fortune in the East Indies. They had only one child ; my 
 cousin, Lucy, had been my constant associate almost as 
 long as I can remember. She was a beautiful creature, 
 
162 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 with large blue eyes, and the sweetest smile it is possible to 
 conceive. If childhood could have found a voice to reveal 
 its dawning passions, the feelings I from the first entertained 
 for my cousin, would have been called love ; but, as it was, 
 our intimacy was only regarded by most of the members of 
 our respective families as the natural result of our near re- 
 lationship. Thus my early youth glided on, happy and 
 undisturbed, save by the family cares at which I have 
 already hinted. Of my father, save in the mornings and 
 evenings, I saw but little ; he passed his whole days sur- 
 rounded by his books. But Lucy and I were inseparable ; 
 we had lived through and were now past that epoch of 
 our lives when it had been necessary to watch over us with 
 unremitting attention. Our great delight was to wander 
 together, at earliest dawn, through the woods and gardens 
 surrounding the old hall We have often, hand-in-hand, 
 beheld the rising of the sun we have watched rejoicing 
 nature reviving under its influence. Those early hours 
 were so many additional ones that we could add to our 
 accustomed periods of recreation ; and although we had 
 now arrived at an age when such a constant intimacy might 
 have been considered objectionable to our respective rela- 
 tives, no exception was ever taken, nor did I fully compre- 
 hend then the smiles of peculiar meaning with which my 
 mother would regard us, when she saw us returning hand- 
 in-hand from some of our pleasant woodland rambles. Of 
 her I must say a few words. 
 
 At fifty years of age, my mother still retained many 
 traces of that beauty by which she was pre-eminently dis- 
 tinguished. She was slight and delicate, with large dark 
 eyes and a fair brow, over which her hair parted, which 
 had prematurely become gray. The quiet self-possession 
 and easy grace of her manner, as she sat intrenched beside 
 her little work-table, occupied with some of those little 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 163 
 
 nameless employments that tend to the dissipation of female 
 leisure, would have, at a glance, convinced the most care- 
 less spectator that she was of gentle breeding. Descended 
 from a family, the various members of which had, in their 
 day, done the state good service, she had brought my father 
 little save the charm of her beauty and the affectionate soli- 
 citude which had lightened many a sorrow and relieved the 
 darkest and most cloudy days. She was, indeed, the gen- 
 tlest of beings. My mother's relatives had occupied distin- 
 guished posts, some of them were still high in office, and 
 such interest as they possessed had been from time to time 
 enlisted in my favor. But whether the army, the navy, or 
 the foreign office, was to be my destination, remained a 
 mystery, which had yet to be decided. This brief retro- 
 spect will be sufficient to acquaint my readers with a suffi- 
 cient portion of my previous history to enable them to un- 
 derstand the posture of affairs, as they stood when I intro- 
 duced myself to their notice. 
 
 Redburn Hall, where we .resided, was an old-fashioned 
 house with many gables. It stood in the centre of an am- 
 phitheatre of hills, open to the south, where it commanded 
 an extensive view of rich woodland scenery. The lawn, 
 which lay to one side, terminated in terraced flower gar- 
 dens, which had once been extensive and trimly kept, but 
 were now reduced to half their original dimensions by the 
 encroachment of the woods, which seem to have been 
 allowed to grow in upon them. The lawn was almost 
 swept by the hanging branches of the oak and laburnum. 
 And among the flowers of the parterre, the wild rose and 
 anemone mingled, with a profusion which afforded abundant 
 evidence that the care of the gardener was not now restrict- 
 ed to the legitimate objects of his jurisdiction. 
 
 From the further extremity of this piece of pleasure 
 ground, walks branched away through the woods, some 
 
164 SWELL Li FEAT SEA; OR, 
 
 leading to the village which was distant about a mile, 
 others to the farm, and others, more dark and shady, 
 through glades overgrown with tangled brushwood, which, 
 in summer, were fragrant with the clematis and woodbine 
 far away into the hills of the upper park which lay in the 
 distance. 
 
 Times had changed, and with them the hall, but it was a 
 comfortable old-fashioned English residence, still keeping up 
 to the rest, of a rather slender ability, its former reputation 
 for hospitality. It had for several hundred years been the 
 hereditary residence of our family, of which my father was 
 now the representative. I was called Charles, after a great 
 uncle, by my mother's side. Of my childish life, the little 
 I remember, it is not necessary to recapitulate here, more 
 than I have already done. I had been carefully educated 
 under the eye parental, and the course of reading which I 
 have already described, had stored my mind with a species 
 of knowledge very different from the ordinary run of infor- 
 mation possessed by boys of my own age. Of my brother, 
 George, I know but little ; being many years older than 
 myself, he was at school when I was still in the nursery, 
 and during the vacations he occasionally passed at the hall, 
 I was frequently absent on visits at my uncle's residence. 
 
 It was a crisp, bracing morning, in early autumn, and we 
 were all seated in the library, awaiting the advent of my 
 father, ere we sat down to breakfast for it was a rule in 
 our household, that the morning meal should invariably be 
 enjoyed together. The urn was hissing upon the table, my 
 mother sat behind the tea-cups, looking towards the door, 
 and I was occupied in airing at the fire the county paper, 
 when my father made his appearance with an open letter in 
 his hand. 
 
 "News, my dear," he said, as he took his accustomed 
 seat near the fire. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING.* 165 
 
 " From George ?" inquired my mother. 
 
 " No," said my father, " you are all astray." 
 
 " From Silverthorne, then ?" 
 
 " You must guess again/ 7 my father said, with rather a 
 portentous expression of countenance. 
 
 " Good heavens ! then I hope there is nothing wrong ;" 
 for the momentary shadow, as it flitted past, had not escaped 
 my mother's anxious eye. 
 
 " There is nothing wrong ; give me my tea, and you shall 
 hear all about it." 
 
 His cup of bohea having been handed to him, my father 
 pushed the letter across the table. No sooner had the tea- 
 maker perused the document than her countenance fell. 
 That letter contained my future fate. It conveyed an inti- 
 mation that I was appointed to a frigate, then fitting out 
 at Portsmouth for foreign service.. 
 
 " It cannot be possible," my mother said, taking off her 
 spectacles, which had somehow, all of a sudden, grown very 
 dim. 
 
 " Possible ! It is true. Charley, you are now Her Ma- 
 jesty's property. Remember my precepts, boy ; and when 
 I am occupying an humble tenement, you may perhaps sleep 
 in Westminster Abbey." 
 
 "I'd rather have him at home, in the old blue room. 
 Why, he's a child, quite a child," my mother said, now 
 bursting fairly into tears. 
 
 " Pish !" said my father ; " nonsense, the boy will do his 
 duty ; won't you, Charley ?" 
 
 " I will try, sir," I said, with a gulp intended to keep 
 down a lump which seemed rising in my throat it was the 
 buttered toast I didn't feel sorry then the deuce a bit. 
 
 " There is no time to be lost ; the vessel sails within a 
 fortnight, and you must be rigged out from top to toe," my 
 father said, rubbing his hands ; for any little excitement 
 
166 * SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 always sent the old gentleman into a perfect fever of spirits, 
 and so long as there was anything to be bought, or any ex- 
 pense to be incurred, he was perfectly happy ; but when the 
 time arrived for payment, his spirits were by no means so 
 good. 
 
 " God's will be done. But the blow is a sudden one," 
 my mother said, drying her tears, and impressing a kiss upon 
 my curly head, which made that accursed toast rise in my 
 throat once more. 
 
 The notice was indeed somewhat of the shortest, and it is 
 quite possible I should have given way a little, had I not, 
 a few days previously, been engaged in an animated discus- 
 sion with my cousin, during which she expressed her admi- 
 ration of naval heroism, in a manner that inspired me with 
 the strongest determination to be a Nelson, at the very 
 least ; but now that the die was irrevocably cast, in which 
 the fate of my future life was to be moulded now that I 
 was about to go away from the old familiar scenes among 
 which my youth had been past I felt my ambition to be- 
 come a hero begin, like the courage of Bob Acres, to ooze 
 gradually out of my fingers' ends. 
 
 No period of time in my life, perhaps, ever passed so 
 rapidly as that which intervened between the arrival of the 
 portentous letter and my departure from home. We were 
 busily engaged, morning, noon, and night, in the necessary 
 preparations. The whole house was turned topsy-turvy, and 
 we had scarcely even time for our meals. There was a 
 country town in the neighborhood which supplied some of 
 the articles which were requisite ; but the greater propor- 
 tion had, of course, to be fetched from London ; and, what 
 with the arrival of packing-cases and the opening of them, 
 the inspection of portmanteaus, the making of shirts, the 
 superintendence of stockings and other kinds of fleecy ho- 
 siery, all parties concerned found active occupation, and 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. ' 167 
 
 managed almost to forget in the evening, devoted to their 
 respective tasks, the approaching event that had caused this 
 commotion. .Lucy, too, had come over from Silverthorne, 
 and flitted to and fro like a fairy. She made me a huge 
 pincushion, with pink rosettes at the corners, which I have 
 got to this day, but which was rather an unnecessary ap- 
 pendage at that time. She laughed and cried by turns, and 
 made herself, in a small way, as busy as the rest, until the 
 setting of the last sun which shone upon my boyish career at 
 the old hall. 
 
 Until the final moment for departure was so nearly at 
 hand I could scarcely realize to myself the idea that I was 
 about to leave all those things to which I was attached by 
 so many ties of affection. As we were returning from our 
 last stroll through one of those well-known glades, Lucy 
 and I wept along in silence. There, underneath an old oak 
 tree, my cousin threw her arms around my neck, and pro- 
 mised me, for the first time, her faithful, fond, and unal- 
 terable love. She had never before, during the long term 
 of our happy intercourse, thus spoken to me, and yet, even 
 then, an unknown feeling of doubt and desponding a 
 strange, unaccountable foreboding struck a sudden chill 
 upon me, as I clasped her to my heart. " Ah ! Lucy," I 
 said, " I shall soon be far away ; when I am gone, and you 
 are surrounded by others, you will soon cease to think of 
 me." "Never !" she said. "I have never known, I have 
 never loved any but you ; it is only now that we are about 
 to part, I have discovered how exceedingly dear you are. 
 When you come back, I shall be a woman ; but my heart 
 can know no change to you." I kissed her in silence, and 
 her head rested on my heart as she murmured, " You can 
 have no fortune, but mine will be more than enough for us. 
 When you come if you love me then you have but to 
 claim me, and I will be yours for ever." 
 
168 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 With the thrill of unutterable happiness which I felt at 
 these words, there mingled once more the same strange 
 foreboding. 
 
 " Will you write to me sometimes, Lucy ? Will you only 
 remember that it will make me so happy?" 
 
 " I will ; take this little ring, wear it always for my sake, 
 and when you look at it, you will always remember me." 
 
 With all the ardor of boyish passion I pressed her to my 
 heart, and we returned for the last time to the hall. That 
 was our farewell meeting. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 PORTSMOUTH. 
 
 THE George Hotel was full of life and bustle as the post- 
 chaise, containing my father and me, drove up to the door. 
 The activity which pervaded that well-known establishment, 
 the sunshine and the happy looks .of men, contrasted 
 strangely with the oppressive feeling which had, at times, 
 weighed heavily upon my spirits during the journey. I 
 have purposely passed over all the farewell scenes, not that 
 I am unable to describe them, for they come back upon my 
 memory now as clearly and as full of distinctness as any 
 incidents in my whole career, but because I do not wish to 
 trouble my readers with what can have but little bearing 
 upon the course of my history. Dinner was ordered, of 
 which, when it appeared, I partook with a hearty appetite, 
 notwithstanding my sorrows. In this I followed the exam- 
 ple of my father, although he affected to belong to that 
 school of philosophy which is above being disturbed by 
 trifles. I had observation enough to perceive he was not 
 unmoved by our approaching separation. How well I 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 169 
 
 remember that dinner. Whether it was because I had 
 never dined in a hotel before or not, I am unable to say, 
 but there was not a single dish appeared which at this 
 moment I could not enumerate. I imagined everything, 
 too, had a sort of maritime look about it. The waiter sug- 
 gested to me the idea of a retired seaman, which for aught 
 I can tell he may have been ; and the whole establishment, 
 excellent as it was of its kind, smacked somewhat of that 
 pursuit in which I was so soon to engage, I thought. We 
 dined in the coffee-room, of which, at first, we were the only 
 occupants ; but the cloth had not long been removed, and 
 we were sitting with a decanter of port the best that the 
 George could produce on a table before us, when four 
 gentlemen entered and took their seats at a table which 
 had apparently been prepared for their reception. 
 
 "Did you put the champagne in ice, as I bid you, 
 Joseph?" said the youngest of the party, who might be 
 some two years older than myself. 
 
 "Yes, sir," with deferential politeness, said the waiter, 
 who seemed old enough, at the very least, to be the father 
 of the querist. 
 
 "Dinner, then, as soon as possible." 
 
 While my father was finishing his bottle of port, I occu- 
 pied myself by scrutinizing the strangers. However erro- 
 neous may have been the opinion I had entertained about 
 the waiter, as to the new comers there could be no mistake 
 of any kind. They were certainly of the naval profession, 
 and, for aught I could tell, they might be men of consider- 
 able eminence, although the manner in which they spoke of 
 the dinner tended by no means to impress me with an ele- 
 vated idea of the estimation in which they held it. 
 
 "Did you dine with the Port Admiral on Thursday, 
 Staunton?" said the youth who had evinced his anxiety 
 bout the champagne. 
 
 8 
 
170 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " No ; his feeds are bad everything cold but the wine, 
 and that's as hot as the devil," was Mr. Staunton's re- 
 joinder. 
 
 " Can't be worse than we are on board," said the first 
 speaker, as he tossed off a bumper of wine. 
 
 " What can a youngster like you know about the matter ? 
 You can't tell a good feed from a bad one, Ellis." 
 
 " Can't I, though ? I like this better than cold pork, and 
 I prefer champagne to three-finger grog," replied Mr. Ellis, 
 in the tone of a deeply injured man. 
 
 " The service is going to the devil ; give me another slice 
 of that mackerel," said one of the party, who had not before 
 spoken. He was a mild-looking youth, with curly hair and 
 light-blue eyes. 
 
 " That it is," replied Mr. Staunton. 
 
 " You seem fond of mackerel," said another of the party. 
 
 " Yery," responded the gentleman thus addressed, who, 
 I was shocked to perceive, used his knife upon the occasion. 
 
 " Take my advice, then, and try the tail." 
 
 " I will," said the youngster, "if you'll have the kindness 
 to hand it over." 
 
 " Not that way," said the connoisseur in fish ; " don't cut 
 the tail off. So pass your knife under and slide it gently 
 up to the head." 
 
 " Oh," said Staunton, " that's the way, is it ? Here goes 
 then." 
 
 "Now, before you go any farther, let me give you a 
 second piece of advice." 
 
 " What's that ?" 
 
 " The next time, don't be green enough to let any one 
 persuade you you don't know how to eat a mackerel ; go on, 
 I wish you a good appetite." 
 
 The young fellow thus addressed, feeling that he was 
 "sold/' laid down his knife and fork, and staring at the 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 
 
 
 
 speaker, exclaimed " For half a farthing I'd make you eat 
 it, and begin-at the head ; mind your own business, can't 
 you, and leave me to mind mine ?" 
 
 " Take a glass of wine with me, my boy, and don't put 
 yourself in a passion about nothing." 
 
 Such is an average specimen of the conversation which 
 took place at the adjoining table ; jokes of a like nature 
 seemed the order of the day, and each moment the merri- 
 ment of the party waxed louder and more boisterous. My 
 father and I exchanged glances, arid sat silent, but not un- 
 observant spectators. 
 
 "We are bound for the east, I believe?" the gentleman 
 said who was named Staunton.. 
 
 " So I hear," responded Ellis. 
 
 " Well, we shall have only one more dinner on shore, so 
 let's make the most of our time." 
 
 " The deuce, when do we sail then ?" inquired the mack- 
 erel-eater. 
 
 "You may sail when you please, but the Ida sails on 
 Tuesday," said Staunton sententiously. 
 
 The dinner, which had been protracted through its vari- 
 ous stages, was at last concluded, the cloth was removed, a 
 plentiful supply of claret, with a handsome dessert, was 
 placed upon the table, and the party drank and laughed 
 and "chaffed" each other with the most boisterous good 
 humor. Staunton told droll stories, sang droll songs, and 
 pushed the bottle backwards and forwards, making noise 
 enough for a half dozen ; so, what with laughing, and talk- 
 ing, and drinking, the scene grew too noisy to afford any 
 farther amusement, and we prepared to retire to our re- 
 spective apartments. 
 
 " Charley, my boy," my father said, as we proceeded up 
 stairs, " what do you think of your shipmates ?" 
 
 " A noisy set of fellows enough, sir," I said. 
 
172 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " I hope the first time you dine together, you will let 
 them see you know the head of a mackerel from the tail," 
 my father said, with an air of quiet raillery, as he bade me 
 good night. 
 
 The next morning we waited on the captain, to show we 
 had a letter of introduction from my uncle. My father sent 
 up his card, and was at once admitted. Captain Deadeye 
 was a fat man, with a red face, broad shoulders, and, what 
 is vulgarly called, a paunch. He had a tight look about 
 him, as if all the blood in his body was squeezed up into his 
 head, which appearance was probably produced by a stiff 
 military stock he wore ; he was attired in a somewhat faded 
 uniform ; he was unbuttoned, and his trousers seemed very 
 much too wide for him. He received us with great cordial- 
 ity, and begged us to be seated. 
 
 " You have come in good time ; we sail the day after to- 
 morrow." 
 
 " Indeed," said my father. " Allow me to introduce my 
 son to you." 
 
 Captain Deadeye then shook hands with me. " I hope 
 the youngster will do you credit," he said, with a grim 
 smile ; " if he only makes as good a sailor as his uncle, he'll 
 do." This was encouragement ; and I expressed my ac- 
 knowledgments by a blush, which I endeavored in vain to 
 repress. 
 
 " This being your last day, we shall not occupy your 
 time further, Captain Deadeye ; I wished only to make the 
 boy known to you before he went on board," my father said, 
 preparing to take his leave. 
 
 " Not a bit ; I never put off things to the last moment, 
 so I've got plenty of time on hand ; but if you'll dine with 
 me here at seven, I shall be delighted ; your son will then 
 have an opportunity of becoming acquainted with some of 
 his messmates." 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. If3 
 
 My father promised his assent, and we withdrew from the 
 great man's presence, rather favorably impressed by the re- 
 sult of our interview. 
 
 We passed the remainder of the morning in wandering 
 about the town, and inspecting such lions as the place con- 
 tained. We visited the dock-yard, walked down to the 
 pier, and saw the steamers, which plied to and fro to Hyde, 
 whose white houses, ranged tier above tier, sparkled in the 
 autumn sunshine. To me, however, the most interesting 
 object of contemplation was the old " Victory," about which 
 I had heard and read so much ; there she lay, a sheer hulk ; 
 that old vessel, which had carried the thunders of England 
 through so many a storm of fight. How tremendous she 
 must have been once. How helpless she looks now, for the 
 shirts and other garments, which were hung upon lines to 
 dry, fluttered in the breeze, and gave the gallant old ship 
 more the appearance of a floating laundry than anything 
 else. 
 
 Having inspected the docks and the neighborhood, we 
 strolled until it was time to go and dress for dinner. The 
 captain, upon our arrival, received us with a cordial wel- 
 come, and introduced us to such of the company as had 
 already assembled ; among them were two of the young 
 gentlemen who had dined in the coffee-room of the George 
 upon the previous day, to whom I was gravely introduced. 
 " I like to make my officers acquainted with each other, if 
 I can, before they go on board ; you'll see some more of 
 them by and by." I was then presented to Mrs. Deadeye, 
 and afterwards to her daughter ; and the remainder of the 
 guests soon arriving, dinner was announced, and, marshalled 
 in due order, we proceeded down a flight of somewhat nar- 
 row stairs, which led to the place of entertainment. 
 
 With the exception of a gentleman in a white tie and a 
 suit of unexceptionable sables, whom I rightly conjectured 
 
174 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 to be a clergyman, the remainder of the male portion of the 
 party, my father, of course, also excluded, were of the sea- 
 faring order. Captain Deadeye was in high feather, and 
 though he struck me as being deficient in that polish which 
 I should have expected a man of his rank to possess, he 
 seemed very good-natured ; and for so great a man, (for at 
 that time I would have regarded a prime-minister with a 
 good deal less awe,) I thought him affable and condescend- 
 ing to a degree. His better half was a buxom woman of 
 forty-five or thereabouts ; and of their daughter Julia, all 
 that I can say is, that any comparison between her and my 
 fair cousin would have been infinitely to the disadvantage 
 of the former. 
 
 When we were fairly seated at the table, and the first 
 clatter of plates, knives, and glasses had subsided, the soup 
 being removed, and the sherry handed round, I had more 
 time to observe the company who were then and there as- 
 sembled. 
 
 The first lieutenant sat nearly opposite to me : he was a 
 bluff weather-beaten person, verging upon forty, with a cast 
 of countenance which expressed, as strongly as a face can, 
 the strong resolution and determination of his nature. In 
 person, he was short and thick set ; and having suffered se- 
 verely from the small-pox during his infancy, Mr. Morris 
 was not, by any means, what could be called a handsome 
 man. 
 
 The second lieutenant impressed me less favorably than 
 his senior : he was rather better-looking, but he had a pee- 
 vish and irascible air about him ; his voice was singularly 
 harsh and forbidding, and his tone dictatorial enough for an 
 admiral, at the least. 
 
 In the persons of two other guests I recognized, as I 
 have already said, members of the dinner-party at the 
 George on the preceding day, and with them, ladies, whose 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 175 
 
 names I could not learn, and my father and myself such 
 was our party. 
 
 The conversation turned chiefly upon nautical matters, 
 and the second lieutenant monopolized the conversation, I 
 thought, rather more than was consistent with my ideas of 
 good breeding. The midshipmen paid delicate attentions to 
 the young ladies, and drank as much wine as they could get 
 hold of without attracting public observation. 
 
 Of the captain's conversation I could not hear much ; 
 it was shared for the most part between my father, who sat 
 on one side of him, and an elderly gentlewoman, splendidly 
 arrayed in green satin, who sat upon the other. 
 
 Upon the whole I was not sorry when the banquet, 
 which appeared to me to be protracted to an unusual ex- 
 tent, had terminated ; and it was with unfeigned satisfac- 
 tion that I found myself again in the drawing-room, when 
 the captain's lady took kindly notice of my forlorn condi- 
 tion, and inquired after my mother, asked if I had any sis- 
 ters, and whether I liked the idea of going to sea. 
 
 When I sought my pillow that night and fell asleep, what 
 a confused train of disjointed images tumbled as it were 
 through my brain. I thought of Lucy then she suddenly 
 changed into Mrs. Deadeye with whom I thought I was 
 on the eve of something like matrimony, in the village 
 church near the old hall ; while a post-chaise with four 
 horses was waiting to convey us on a hymeneal expedition 
 into North Wales. This dream was so awful that I wakened 
 suddenly, but it was only to fall asleep again, and dream of 
 things still more strange and appalling, which I shall not 
 stay and set down here. 
 
176 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 THE IDA. 
 
 THERE was a heavy drizzling rain falling, and it blew a 
 stiffish breeze, when at the appointed hour we set out in 
 the captain's barge for the ship, which was lying at some 
 distance. My father would see the last of me, he said, so 
 he accompanied me on board, when we parted. To describe 
 the feeling of desolation which came over me, when I saw 
 him re-enter the boat, would be impossible ; a melancholy 
 foreboding was on my mind that I should see the old man 
 no more ; and, as I leaned over the side of the gigantic 
 vessel, to watch the boat now rapidly receding in the dis- 
 tance, I felt that ere long I would vainly sigh for the tran- 
 quil scene of my early years, and regret the hour when I 
 had been tempted to forsake them. I never felt more deeply 
 the strength of the ties which bound my heart to my old 
 home than I did at that moment, but it was too late for re- 
 gret. The past was beyond recall. All that remained for 
 me to do was to endeavor to profit by those lessons of wis- 
 dom, which had so often been impressed upon my mind ; 
 and something like the feeling came at last to my mind, 
 that even should I utterly fail in my duty, it would not 
 be for any want of energetic determination on my part to 
 fulfil it. 
 
 When I looked about me, the uproar and confusion which 
 prevailed upon deck were beyond anything I could have 
 imagined ; officers were thundering forth their orders to a 
 confused crowd of seamen, in a language which seemed to 
 me utterly unintelligible. The men were rushing to and fro, 
 tumbling about in all directions, and cursing vociferously. 
 A number of strangers and women, who, having received 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 177 
 
 permission to come on board to see their relations, were 
 still lingering, seemed in everybody's way. 
 
 I spoke to some of the people near me, bnt they were too 
 busily engaged to pay attention, nor did they even seem 
 to understand what I was saying ; and during the greater 
 part of the forenoon I remained in this forlon condition, 
 until at last I succeeded in discovering a quiet corner where 
 I could rest my aching head, and recover the possession of 
 my wandering senses. 
 
 After some hours of active exertion, the officer in com- 
 mand at last succeeded in getting things in some degree to 
 rights. The deck was cleared of the strangers who had 
 come on board, and the boats from shore, in a perfect flo- 
 tilla, by which the Ida had been surrounded, gradually dis- 
 appeared towards evening. The captain came on board, 
 attired in full uniform ; he was received by the two senior 
 officers, and in a short time afterwards orders were given to 
 weigh anchor. I was cheered in some degree by the lively 
 sound of the fife, and the animation of the active sailors 
 who worked at the windlass, and were springing about the 
 rigging was not without its effect in recovering my spirits. 
 The wind was fresh and fair ; the evening cleared ; and the 
 Ida glided from her moorings, saluted from the shore and 
 from the ships we passed, by loud cheers, which were repaid 
 with interest by our crew. 
 
 It is a rare sight, and no novice has ever seen it for the 
 first time without emotion, to witness the departure of one 
 of these great bulwarks of our national glory, thus setting 
 forth upon her adventurous career ; a thousand hearts, 
 ready to brave the battle-fire or the wreck, are beating 
 within her, and look upon their native land, may be, for the 
 last time. They go forth in the pride of hope, they dream 
 but little of the fury of the storm, the crash of battle, or 
 
 8* 
 
178 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 the home which may await them in the unfathomed caverns 
 of the great deep. Their hearts beat high with confidence 
 and with joy ; and of the two, the feelings of those on 
 shore are perhaps less to be envied than the adventurous 
 sailors. 
 
 Occupied by reflections such as these, it was some time 
 before I mustered up resolution to inspect the quarters 
 which had been allotted to me. Having at length found a 
 sailor who appeared sufficiently unoccupied to warrant me 
 in requesting his guidance, I was shown the way down a 
 ladder into a dark region between decks, where, in the fore- 
 part of the vessel, the midshipmen's berth was situated. 
 The domain at first sight seemed by no means an agreeable 
 residence, nor did a further inspection tend to increase its 
 attractions. The greater portion of the room was taken up 
 by a deal table, above which was suspended a lamp. The 
 table-cloth was spread as if for supper, and the clatter of 
 plates somewhere in the neighborhood indicated that prepa- 
 rations were on foot for that repast. My allotted seat being 
 pointed out to me, I saw nothing better to do than to sit 
 down and occupy it which I did accordingly, marvelling 
 much at the miserable accommodation which her gracious 
 Majesty was pleased to afford to the officers in her service. 
 
 I do not remember ever feeling more profoundly misera- 
 ble than I did at that moment. The spot I occupied, from 
 the culinary preparations which were going forward, began 
 soon to be invaded by a combination of sa.vory odors, which, 
 in that close atmosphere, was very far from agreeable. To 
 eat, I felt, would be quite out of the question ; had I known, 
 then, the comfort to be derived from tobacco, I should, in 
 all probability, have solaced myself with a pipe ; but that 
 was an anodyne as yet unknown to me. I felt a dejection 
 of spirits and a sense of misery it would be impossible to 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 179 
 
 describe. I wished heartily I had never left home, and I 
 felt so entirely down on my luck, that I would have will- 
 ingly exchanged situations with old Joe Harvey, my father's 
 gardener. I was soon, however, aroused from my dreamy 
 reflections by the appearance of supper, simultaneously with 
 which my new associates came tumbling in with some of 
 whom the reader is already acquainted. They were eight 
 in number, and, when seated, were quite sufficient to fill the 
 room. I was introduced in succession to each of them, by 
 my friends of the preceding day, and we soon became on 
 excellent terms. I was let into all the secrets of the mess, 
 down even to the rogueries of the purser. The peculiar 
 idiosyncrasies of the captain, as well as of the first lieuten- 
 ant, were explained to me in a few graphic touches. 
 
 My companions addressed themselves at first so vigor- 
 ously to the evening repast, that they found but little leis- 
 ure for the exercise of their conversational powers. The 
 viands disappeared with a celerity which seemed marvellous. 
 The empty dishes were cleared away, the allowance of grog 
 was placed on the festive board, and at length, with one 
 consent, the tongues of the company were unloosed. 
 
 " I say, old fellow," said a messmate, whom they called 
 Hamilton, " why do they keep secret where we are bound 
 for such a deuce of a mystery ?" 
 
 " It's no mystery at all. We are to cruise awhile in the 
 Indian Ocean," 
 
 "Why did Deadeye look so d d important, then, when 
 we talked about it the other day at dinner?" 
 
 " That's not it ; I'm in the secret," said the little macke- 
 rel-eater, whose name was Ashton. 
 
 " Holloo, let us hear what the boy has to say. Now then, 
 Ashton, out with it !" 
 
 " He knows no more than Adam," broke in Hamilton. 
 
 " Not half so much, perhaps," said Ellis. 
 
180 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Do you think old Deadeye knows himself?" suggested 
 another. 
 
 " I tell you, I know," persisted Ashton. 
 
 " Why the devil don't you tell it, then?" 
 
 "Stop his grog until he does," shouted Ellis; and the 
 glass which contained that liquor, whereof Ashton was 
 drinking, was seized upon forthwith. 
 
 " Now then, out with it, as Mrs. Brown said to her son 
 when he swallowed a farthing," thundered Arbuthnot, who 
 was the wit of the midshipman's ward. 
 
 " We're going to hunt down the Malay pirates," said Ash- 
 ton, compelled by this powerful process to reveal his secret. 
 
 " Who told you that, Spooney ?" 
 
 " My uncle heard it from a friend, who has a connection 
 with the Admiralty." 
 
 " The Admiralty be d d ; give him back his grog ; he 
 knows nothing about it." 
 
 " I thought I heard Captain Deadeye whispering to my 
 father somerhing about China," mildly suggested I, break- 
 ing silence for the first time. 
 
 " That's nearer the mark, somewhat," said Hamilton. 
 
 " What's the difference between the Chinese and the 
 Malays, I should like to know ?" said the little mackerel- 
 eater, who, having swallowed at a single draught the entire 
 of his grog, had now regained his confidence. 
 
 " Ashton, were you ever at school?" 
 
 " To be sure I was." 
 
 " Were 7 you ever flogged ?" 
 
 " Generally speaking, about once a week." 
 
 "Then they should have done it once a day, and you 
 might have known something ; as it is, Heaven help you I 
 you are little better than a donkey." 
 
 " Poor devil I don't bully him so infernally," Hamilton 
 said, smiling kindly on the benighted midshipman. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 181 
 
 " What sort of a fellow is Morris, the first lieutenant 
 does any one know anything about him ?" inquired one of 
 my messmates. 
 
 " Don't speak so loud, or he may happen to hear you. 
 He's on deck with old Deadeye, looking out for squalls : I 
 saw him as I came down." 
 
 " I don't know, I never saw him in my life before until I 
 met him at dinner ; he seems a very good-natured sort of 
 muff." 
 
 " He's a Scotchman," said Hamilton. 
 
 " The deuce he is ; I don't like that ; I sailed with a 
 Sawney once, and he was next door to a brute." 
 
 " Morris looks like a tartar." 
 
 "So does his wife she dined at Deadeye's." 
 
 "Wife ! what business has a lieutenant with a wife ? I 
 should like to be informed of that." 
 
 "She had red hair, and eyes like a ferret, and put me 
 altogether in mind of a dose of Epsom salts." 
 
 A roar of laughter followed this sally, in the midst of 
 which the door opened, and the fortunate proprietor of this 
 exquisite object of wedded endearment put his head into 
 the room. 
 
 " Less noise if you please, gentlemen ; Captain Deadeye 
 is extremely surprised at such a disturbance." 
 
 " Has he heard us, do you think ?" whispered Hamilton, 
 as the door closed upon the first lieutenant. 
 
 " Of course he has ; he is easy in his mind, at any rate, 
 in one respect." 
 
 " And what may that be ?" 
 
 " Why, that you are not in love with his wife." 
 
 " No ; my affections are unalterably plighted to ano- 
 ther." 
 
 "Who may she be?" 
 
 " I'll tell you if you won't try to cut me out." 
 
182 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Certainly not." 
 
 " I'm afraid of you." 
 
 "What, is the fair creature on board?" 
 
 "I wish she was." 
 
 " How, then, can I interfere with your prospects, most 
 cautious Paddy?" 
 
 " It's Julia Deadeye." 
 
 " What ! the little girl who squints ?" 
 
 " She doesn't squint, and she'll have ten thousand pounds. 
 I'll marry her when I return retire from the service, and 
 keep a pack of hounds." 
 
 " You had better learn to sail first ; do you remember 
 our excursion to Hampstead ?" 
 
 " What happened?" inquired Ellis. 
 
 " He rode over a respectable elderly lady, and he shortly 
 afterwards broke the horse's knees." 
 
 I have recorded this conversation, not from any exagge- 
 rated notion of its importance, but because it affords an 
 average sample of our daily topics of discussion. Of my 
 messmates, the only one for whom I felt, upon putting a 
 question, I could conceive any feeling akin to regard, was 
 Hamilton. His appearance was singularly prepossessing. 
 He was tall and rather strongly built ; his chiselled features, 
 flowing, light brown hair, and graceful figure, would of 
 themselves-have arrested my attention ; but what made the 
 greatest impression upon me, was a good-humored and ge- 
 nial expression, which indicated the kindness of his nature. 
 We spent the evening pleasantly enough together, but I 
 was not sorry when bed-time arrived. Hamilton showed 
 me how to get into my hammock, and laughed heartily 
 when he saw me rolling round and tumble out on the other 
 side ; by his assistance I contrived to regain my position, 
 when sleep soon came to steal away my wretchedness ; and 
 I wakened the next morning, thinking I was still at Heath- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 183 
 
 field Hall. When I went on deck, I found the weather 
 thick and squally, and through the cold, miserable haze of a 
 November day, I saw the Needle Rocks, the high cliffs at 
 the back of the Isle of Wight, far in the distance, and re- 
 ceding gradually until they became a mere outline : all the 
 noise and hurry of departure had subsided into the reality 
 of a trackless expanse of sea. 
 
 From that time forth I began to pay strict attention to 
 learning the details of my duty. I studied drawing and 
 navigation, and read eagerly everything I could lay my 
 hands on, that had any bearing on my profession. I soon 
 acquired the favor of the first lieutenant, before I had been 
 many weeks on board, by the strict attention I paid to the 
 little duties he gave me to perform. I had been put into a 
 watch and stationed in the foretop, and quartered at the 
 foremost guns on the main deck. Although I had been 
 told by the youngsters that Mr. Morris was a bearish, 
 surly, and villainous Scotchman, I never experienced any- 
 thing but kindness from him ; his manners, even when under 
 the strongest excitement, were uniformly those of a gentle- 
 man, and he was always ready to impart to me such informa- 
 tion as he possessed upon such affairs. With the second in 
 command, however, I was not so fortunate ; his sole delight 
 appeared to be in inflicting every possible species of annoy- 
 ance upon those who were so unfortunate as to be placed 
 under his control. He was of a nature naturally mean, 
 and although he had bowed and fawned himself into the 
 good graces of the captain, boy as I was, I had little diffi- 
 culty in perceiving that neither with my messmates, nor 
 with the crew, was he by any means a favorite. 
 
184 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OB, 
 
 CHAPTER IY. 
 MY FIRST ADVENTURE. 
 
 I MUST leave to the imagination of my readers the suffer- 
 ings which, for the first few days, I underwent. It was a 
 considerable period before I obtained the use of what are 
 technically called my sea legs ; and as to eating, Lord bless 
 me ! the recollection of my endeavors to swallow the salt 
 beef and potatoes haunts me to this day. Long after the 
 first terrible sensation had passed, my aversion to food still 
 continued. Whether it was the earliness of the hour, or 
 the disagreeable sights and smells by which I was assailed, 
 which usually act as a check upon all appetites fresh from 
 shore, I shall not pause to determine ; but it was not with- 
 out great difficulty I at last prevailed upon myself to swal- 
 low a morsel. The beverage was not less unpalatable than 
 the food ; the black-strap, an awful mixture, tasting like 
 sloe-juice and logwood, was only worse than the grog ; and 
 whilst my messmates were imbibing their potations, I re- 
 flected upon my new situation, not without considerable re- 
 gret. I remember well how, notwithstanding all my enthu- 
 siasm, and the aspirations after fame and adventure which 
 had warmed my early life, my heart failed me as I contrast- 
 ed my position with that which I had renounced. When I 
 remembered the old house, with its light and pleasant aspect, 
 the summer woods waving round it, and the perfume of the 
 fresh flowers coming in through the open windows, and con- 
 trasted those scenes with the gloomy hole in which I was 
 cabined, cribbed and confined with the rough uneducated 
 men, whose very language was a new dialect to me with 
 my noisy companions uttering their opinions upon all man- 
 ner of subjects, of which I knew nothing; when I con- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 185 
 
 trasted all this with my old home, and my former associ- 
 ates, I must confess I felt a faintness of heart which was 
 most oppressive. Since these days, years have rolled away, 
 yet my early sufferings are still fresh in my memory ; nor 
 have the varied scenes through which I have passed oblite- 
 rated my recollection of them in the very least. I made 
 up my mind, however, and nerved myself, as well as I could, 
 for endurance. A midshipman's berth is about the last 
 place on earth suited to the indulgence of vain regrets. I 
 spent much of my time on deck. Scenes of adventure be- 
 gan once more to come back upon my mind ; and now that 
 we were on the broad bosom of the ocean, the regret for all 
 I had left behind, and the doubts and misgivings as to my 
 chances of success in the life I had entered upon, began to 
 give place to brighter hopes. Our life was, for some time, 
 unvaried in its daily routine. In time I got accustomed to 
 the night watch, which at first I found rather a severe trial. 
 Gentlemen, who live at home at ease-, and never leave their 
 comfortable beds, can have very little notion of the immense 
 discomfort in having to leave one's hammock at midnight, 
 to shiver for four mortal hours on deck in the wet and cold. 
 To this, however, like the rest, I soon became inured by 
 practice. The weather, after some time, set in very stormy. 
 A stiff south-wester was blowing, and as I paced the deck, 
 during the night watch, my reveries were interrupted by a 
 sudden splash, and a cry of " man overboard." 
 
 " Down with the buoy, and pipe the cutter away," sang 
 out the second lieutenant. 
 
 The order thus given was promptly executed. The cut- 
 ter was lowered, and I jumped into it ; not a moment was 
 lost in getting out the oars, and lighted by the buoy, whose 
 lurid glare fell upon the heaving water, we pulled rapidly 
 towards the object of our search ; but, notwithstanding all 
 our exertions, so great had been the way upon the ship, 
 
186 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 that some time elapsed before we could come up with our 
 beacon light. We shouted out the man's name, but all was 
 silent. " Is he a good swimmer ?" I inquired. 
 
 " Lord love ye, sir, Bob Smith can swim like a duck, no 
 fear of him." 
 
 I thought I heard a faint cry some distance to windward. 
 " Give way, my lads, I hear him on the starboard," sung 
 out the quartermaster, whose ear had caught the same 
 sound. 
 
 " Hark, sir ! that is the captain's voice ; I hear him hail- 
 ing us." 
 
 "Have you found him ?" sung out Captain Deadeye, 
 who, it would appear, had been roused by the tumult. 
 
 " No, sir 1" 
 
 " You have got too far, I hear him on the larboard pull 
 now with a will." 
 
 The boat's crew pulled like devils towards the spot indi- 
 cated we rested to listen, but not the faintest sound, save 
 the plashing of the waves and the drip of the oars, could be 
 distinguished. 
 
 " Hist !" exclaimed every one almost simultaneously, as a 
 faint wailing moan came floating on the waters from a spot 
 apparently quite close at hand. We strained every nerve and 
 soon reached it ; but we could discover nothing. Again 
 we rested, and floated over the surface of the waves, whose 
 dark ridges, tipped with foam, shone like silver in the moon- 
 light ; at one moment we thought we heard the same cry, 
 but it proved to be only the wind whistling off the blade 
 of one of our upturned oars. 
 
 " By jingo I there he is," sung out the coxswain. And 
 there no mistake this time, we heard a sound like some 
 one swimming. 
 
 " Call him by name," I said, my anxiety roused to the 
 very uttermost. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 187 
 
 " Smith ! Bob Smith ! hilloa, my boy, hilloa !" sang out 
 the coxswain, with the voice of a Stentor. 
 
 There was no reply. 
 
 "It is all up," the mate said, resting on his oars ; " had 
 we not better make for the ship ?" 
 
 " Hark ! there it is again." 
 
 " It is, by G !" said the man who pulled the stroke oar. 
 
 " I hear nothing," said the coxswain. 
 
 " No more do I," said the stroke oar. 
 
 Whether it was fancy or not I am unable to say, but the 
 voice of the last speaker seemed to my unpractised ear 
 tremulous with some suppressed emotion. I looked at his 
 resolute face, tanned by exposure to the sun and wind, but 
 could detect nothing in its expression more than usual. It 
 flashed upon me then all that I had heard of the super- 
 stition of sailors ; and I thought some nonsense of this kind 
 might be weighing on the man's mind. 
 
 " Now, for another pull ;" I said, " we may do better this 
 time." 
 
 " You ain't a going o spend the night floating about 
 here, sir, I hope," said the coxswain, touching his hat. 
 
 " Afraid of Bogy, are you ?" replied the stroke oar, who 
 was a native of the Emerald Isle. 
 
 " Obey your orders ; we won't lose a chance, so long as 
 I think one remains ; put her head round and try to wind- 
 ward ; if the man is so good a swimmer as you say, we 
 shall have time yet." 
 
 The men bent to their oars, but, it was quite evident, 
 no longer with the same inclination as heretofore ; some 
 mysterious influence, likely one superior to mine, was at 
 work upon them. 
 
 " Here he is at last, I see him, close under the bow ;" and, 
 in my anxiety to clutch at what seemed the object of our 
 search, I nearly tumbled overboard. 
 
 8* 
 
188 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Alas ! it was only the poor fellow's hat, which, npon be- 
 ing lifted into the boat, was found to contain nothing but 
 an old handkerchief, stuffed tightly into the crown. 
 
 We had not more than sufficient time to examine the 
 contents of the hat, when our attention was attracted by 
 what, beyond all question, seemed to be the missing seaman 
 swimming rapidly towards us. 
 
 " Cheer up, my. brave fellow, we'll have you on board in 
 an instant !" pushing an oar towards him, as I thought. 
 
 Suddenly, however, the sound of swimming ceased, and 
 the oar which I had extended no sooner touched the water 
 than we were covered with a dash of spray which nearly 
 swamped us ; the boat vibrated from stem to stern, and for 
 an instant I thought it was going to pieces. 
 
 Not a soul spoke ; the men clutched eagerly at the sides, 
 as if to steady the cutter, as she rocked to and fro ; their 
 eyes were staring with terror ; big drops of perspiration 
 were standing out like beads upon their corded foreheads. 
 
 " God of Heaven 1 that accounts for poor Bob Smith, 7 ' 
 said the coxswain. 
 
 " What is it ?" I inquired, as I looked. 
 
 11 A shark ! look, there he goes ;" and as I looked, I 
 saw a dark object going rapidly through the water, near 
 the surface, in a direction parallel to ours. 
 
 I gave an involuntary shudder, and enjoined silence to 
 the men, whose fears seemed to have got the better of their 
 reason. 
 
 "Ah I no ; we must pull for our lives now, if we would 
 ever reach the ship," said one of them. 
 
 "D n her eyes 1 where is she ? if she ha'n't left us in 
 the lurch, after all, my name's not Brown," said the cox- 
 swain. 
 
 I jumped up and looked around ; but there, far as the 
 eye could reach, lay one wide, trackless expanse of sea, bro- 
 

 FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 189 
 
 ken only by the crests of the waves, as they gleamed in the 
 wan moonlight ; not a mast nor a sail, for miles around, 
 was visible against the horizon. 
 
 " Now, then, for it, my men, with a will ; unless you 
 choose to spend the night here, you must pull for it." 
 
 "Ay, indeed," broke in the coxswain, "for there's a lub- 
 ber down there will make acquaintance with some of us 
 before very long." 
 
 I looked, as the man pointed, and it was with difficulty I 
 refrained from an exclamation of horror, as I saw moving 
 slowly beside us, just under the surface of the water, the 
 same dark object a long track of phosphorescent light fol- 
 lowed like a gleaming meteor in its wake. Gracious Hea- 
 ven, it was a shark ! 
 
 At this crisis, the wind, which had blown in fitful gusts, 
 began to fall ; the moon, too, was overcast, and to add to 
 our embarrassment, the men seemed by no means inclined 
 to obey the orders of one whom they evidently considered a 
 greenhorn, whose rashness had led them into their present 
 peril. 
 
 " Silence I" I shouted ; " pull steadily and together, or I'll 
 report every man of you, when I get on board." 
 
 " And when '11 that be, I should like to know ? We'll be 
 aboard of Davy Jones's locker, afore long, I'm thinking," 
 said the stroke oar in a surly tone. 
 
 Scarcely were the words out of his mouth, when a sudden 
 jet of light streamed forth in the distance, followed by a 
 loud report, which came booming heavily across the waters. 
 
 " Hurrah, the ship I" burst forth with: a hearty cheer 
 from the boat's crew recalling them to their duty in an 
 instant the men pulled steadily for a considerable period, 
 in the direction whence the sound proceeded ; but although 
 our exertions were indefatigable, and we were actually 
 streaming with perspiration, we seemed to approach no 
 
190 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 nearer to the object of our pursuit ; nothing was to be seen 
 but an apparently trackless expanse of sea and sky. Sud- 
 denly, another loud, rushing noise, like the roar of a cata- 
 ract, was heard to windward. 
 
 " Another gun," thought I; but the water, which had 
 hitherto been so smooth, began to undulate with a sudden 
 motion, and a terrific hurricane, driving before it a sheet of 
 foam, came driving after us. There was little need for the 
 oars now ; we were swept before the tempest as you see a 
 withered leaf blown about in autumn. There was nothing 
 to be done but submit quietly to whatever end Fate had in 
 store for us. The spray was dashed in clouds of foam thick 
 enough to obscure anything around. The ocean appeared 
 to seethe like a boiling cauldron, while the heavens over- 
 head loomed darkly down in one thick impenetrable pall. 
 The boat was already half full of water, which it required 
 incessant exertion to keep baling out. I fully expected 
 that we should go to the bottom every instant. This state 
 of painful suspense was too agonizing to endure much long- 
 er, and I felt it would soon be terminated one way or other. 
 I looked from the roaring water to the gloomy sky, and as 
 I thought of the foe who was following in our lee, like the 
 sailor in the Tempest, I would have sacrificed all my hopes 
 of future glory for an acre of barren heath and safety. The 
 faces of the crew, who had braved a hundred times battle 
 and wreck, were haggard with fear ; each man seemed cer- 
 tain that his hour was come ; and as for myself, I am not 
 ashamed to own, that in that terrible moment I breathed a 
 silent ejaculation to Heaven for mercy. The clouds, which 
 had been so long dashing down upon us, now burst ; a peal 
 of thunder, that was absolutely deafening, followed ; the 
 very flood-gates of heaven appeared to open ; the rain fell 
 in torrents ; the wind abated, and from the clouds, as they 
 were rent asunder, far up in the serene sky, the moon shone 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 191 
 
 forth in dazzling brilliancy, pouring a flood of serene light 
 upon this scene of terror. No poet or musing lover ever 
 welcomed that glorious light with more heartfelt joy and 
 gratitude, for it revealed a sight for which we were little 
 prepared. About half a mile distant, with studding sails 
 set, and her canvas gleaming, like silver, in the moonlight, 
 the Ida was rapidly bearing down upon us. A flash broke 
 from her bows, and a loud report came booming over the 
 waves. The boat's crew replied with a hearty cheer ; and 
 I felt then, for the first time, that the bitterness of death 
 was indeed past. 
 
 CHAPTER Y. 
 
 AN ENEMY. 
 
 I PASS over a considerable interval of time, which slipped 
 by, unruffled by any incident save the monotonous routine 
 of daily duty, to which I gradually became accustomed. 
 After a most stormy voyage of several weeks, which 
 strained the ship considerably, and entailed upon us the 
 loss of some spars and sails, we found ourselves in the In- 
 dian Sea. Our destination was no longer a secret ; we 
 were to join the squadron engaged in hostile operations 
 against China. We were passing through the Straits of 
 Sunda, with a favorable breeze, when, just as the sun was 
 going down, we caught sight of two small sails in the hori- 
 zon. A thick fog coming on shortly afterwards, no more 
 was thought of the matter. I had the middle watch. A 
 light, drizzling rain was falling, and the ship was close- 
 hauled, carrying royals. The men had made up their minds 
 for a quiet night, during which reefing or furling would be 
 unnecessary. Most of them were asleep wherever they 
 could stow themselves away, and, I am sorry to confess, I 
 
SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 following their bad example, and dreaming, if I remem- 
 er aright, of old scenes which I might never, perhaps, ro- 
 visit any more, when I was suddenly disturbed by a sound 
 like the creaking of oars. I was awake in an instant, but 
 so entirely had my mind been occupied on other scenes thai 
 for some time, I was under the impression that the sounr* 
 had been an illusion. I thought, however, I might as well 
 look about me, and standing bolt upright, I peered forth. 
 It was time I did so, for nearly under our weather-bow, 
 about a cable's length distant, I saw two small sails, which 
 had evidently no business there, so I called out as loud as I 
 could bawl : 
 
 " Sail ho, close aboard !" 
 
 The first lieutenant was beside me in an instant ; with 
 the practised eye of a seaman he saw at once what was to 
 hand. 
 
 " Keep the ship away ; keep her head off," he shouted to 
 the man at the wheel. 
 
 Round went the ship, and seizing a speaking-trumpet, he 
 shouted 
 
 "All hands on deck look alive ! the pirates are close 
 aboard us." 
 
 Every one was soon in motion. It is a remarkable fact 
 how wide-awake an English sailor becomes when he finds 
 there is any prospect of a row. The men came tumbling 
 up, most of them with nothing on but their shirts and trou- 
 sers. We were going full before the wind ; and Captain 
 Deadeye's voice was soon heard, ordering the braces to be 
 laid aft, and the deck cleared for action. 
 
 Meantime, the strangers were no longer visible. I 
 thought we had distanced them, but soon I heard the 
 voice of Stauuton exclaiming, with an oath, that they were 
 close under our weather-beam. Orders were given to ease 
 ship, which probably saved us from being boarded at this 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 193 
 
 moment. Meanwhile, everything was in readiness. The 
 guns had been shotted and run forward, loaded with grape 
 and canister. I saw a knot of men busy with the second 
 gun primed, and could hear the voice of Deadeye, as he or- 
 dered how it was to be pointed. 
 
 " There can be no mistake, I think, Mr. ," he said ; 
 
 " we'll give them a warmer reception than they bargained 
 for." 
 
 " Mistake ! by G ," growled Morris, " you might blaze 
 into any craft on these seas, and never hurt a respectable 
 man," was the reply. 
 
 All the men were now at their quarters, and all was still 
 but the rushing sound of the vessel going through the 
 water, and of the rising gale amongst the rigging. 
 
 "Now, men, mind your aim," said the captain. "I will 
 join the ship, and as the guns come to bear upon the boats 
 nearest to you, slap it right into them." 
 
 "Starboard your helm, and bring her round to the wind, 
 my man." 
 
 As she came slowly round, bang ! went a carronade right 
 into the nearest of the proas, driving it into staves, and 
 scattering the crew in the water. A howl arose, like that 
 of a thousand demons. 
 
 A breathless stillness ensued. Orders were given to 
 open the arm-chest, and distribute cutlasses and pistols. 
 Everything looked ominous ; I began to think we should 
 have a desperate engagement, and all our throats cut after- 
 wards. 
 
 By this time the ship was on a wind, steering full, while 
 the two remaining proas had closed under our quarter, so 
 - as to avoid the possibility of our having another slap at 
 them. Deadeye evidently knew what they were at, and 
 with the view of out-manoeuvring them, he ordered the 
 helmsman to tack. Round went the ship ; but the cursed 
 
194 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 proas, lying as they did nearer to the wind than we, were 
 still so close under our lee-bow, that to fire upon them was 
 out of the question. Such was the pleasant aspect of 
 affairs ; we did not know the instant we might be boarded. 
 
 "I say, young >un, you ain't funking, are you?" said 
 Hamilton, who, I perceived, had a drawn cutlass in his 
 hand and a leather belt round his waist, stuck full of 
 pistols. 
 
 " Not a bit," said I, for I was in truth too much inte- 
 rested in what was going on around me to have any other 
 feeling. 
 
 The pirates were now close under our beam, and just as 
 a carronade was brought to bear upon them, a grapnel was 
 cast from the nearest of them with admirable precision ; it 
 caught, however, only by a ratlin, which a sailor, who stood 
 near, severed instantly with his cutlass. This was just at 
 the moment when they had risen to haul up alongside ; so 
 quick was the release that about half-a-dozen who were 
 coming up our sides tumbled into the sea, and the Ida 
 passed ahead, leaving the assailants in her wake. No 
 sooner had we got clear of them than the helm was put 
 down and the ship came into the wind in a minute. As we 
 passed, each of our guns as it was brought to bear was 
 discharged in succession, but without effect. They doubled 
 on us, however, before we had time to load again, and were 
 soon close on our wake. 
 
 " Persevering fellows those," said old Deadeye to the 
 first lieutenant. " We'll have a visit from them shortly, I 
 expect." 
 
 " Be ready, men, to receive boarders." 
 
 "Here they come, by jingo," I said, as the foremost 
 ranging close alongside poured its horde of miscreants upon 
 our deck. Up to this moment all had been silent ; a yell 
 now arose, which seemed to read the very heavens, as a. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 195 
 
 close hand-to-hand encounter ensued. Such an infernal 
 scene I never expect to witness again. The pirates had 
 stripped themselves almost naked, and cursing and yelling, 
 each of them in a fashion of his own, fought with the most 
 desperate courage. Our men behaved with the most admi- 
 rable coolness, and it was apparent e^en to my inexperi- 
 enced eye that our assailants had not even the ghost of a 
 chance ; indeed, the very desperation of their fighting 
 showed it. The second of the boats had succeeded in 
 effecting a lodgment of her crew also. They were in the 
 act of getting over the netting when a volley of fire arms 
 was fired which sent four of them to their account. The 
 rest succeeded in gaining the deck, and proved a most formi- 
 dable accession. They were led on by a swarthy fellow, of 
 herculean proportions, with whom Morris was soon engaged 
 in a hand-to-hand encounter. It did not last long, for the 
 experienced swordsman, turning aside a thrust, at a blow 
 clove his assailant to the chine. Hamilton was close be- 
 side me, laying about him furiously, and our men were 
 fighting with all the gallantry inherent to British sailors. 
 For an instant, so terrible was the onslaught, the issue of 
 the fight seemed dubious, but our antagonists at length 
 gave way, and we were driving them towards the mast of 
 the ship, when a sudden reinforcement appeared in the 
 shape of about twenty naked savages, who, armed to the 
 teeth, suddenly climbed over the nettings, and came to the 
 rescue of their companions. I imagined all was lost. Our 
 people, with the exception of old Deadeye and the first lieu- 
 tenant, for a moment held back. The pirates rallied and 
 fought with renewed courage ; it was now not for conquest 
 but for dear life, as retreat was rendered impossible in con- 
 sequence of the parting of the grapplings, which had fast- 
 ened their craft alongside of ours j escape w " ~~nfore out 
 of the question. 
 
196 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Now, then, men, follow me and drive the savages over- 
 board !" shouted the first lieutenant, flourishing his cutlass 
 and jumping down into the waist of the vessel. 
 
 So furious, however, was the onset made upon him that 
 he was thrown back with the foremost of those who fol- 
 lowed him, and about twenty of the pirates leaped after 
 him, yelling like demons. 
 
 "By G , this will never do, we must bring one of the 
 guns to bear upon them/' said Deadeye. 
 
 " Round with a carronade, my boys, and pitch slap into 
 them ;" but the order was unnecessary, for, on seeing the 
 first lieutenant go down, Hamilton, with a party of marines, 
 had rushed to his assistance. He was fortunately unhurt, 
 and was up again in an instant, laying about him with a 
 hearty good will, and setting an example which was fol- 
 lowed with such effect that the ruffians began to give way ; 
 nearly one-half of them were cut to pieces on the deck 
 where they stood, and the remainder leaped overboard, 
 where those who did not perish in the sea gained a tempo- 
 rary safety by swimming to their boats, which had already 
 drifted to some distance. 
 
 The events I have thus been endeavoring to describe, 
 took place in the course of a few minutes. The bodies of 
 the slain were thrown overboard, the guns were secured, 
 and when day at last broke, it dawned upon decks which 
 were slippery with human gore. The wind and sea abated 
 considerably ; and when the crew were mustered, it was 
 found that, although there had been no loss of life, eleven 
 of them were so severely wounded as to require surgical 
 assistance. 
 
 Such was my first adventure, causing me at the time 
 many profound reflections which I cannot now stay to 
 enumerate. Eight bells in the morning watch had struck 
 when we piped to breakfast, to which we did ample justice. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 191 
 
 The first lieutenant, shortly after we were seated, made his 
 appearance with his arm in a sling. 
 
 " Hallo ! old fellow, what's the matter?" inquired Ham- 
 ilton, on seeing him enter. 
 
 " Only a mere scratch nothing more been having some 
 sticking-plaster put upon it." 
 
 "Well, the impudence of these fellows is beyond every- 
 thing to attempt to board a British man-of-war is a cool 
 trick certainly, ain't it ?" 
 
 " Old Deadeye is blaspheming awfully ; he has got a bul- 
 let hole slap through the crown of his hat," Morris said. 
 
 " The devil he has ! pity his coat tails hadn't been shot 
 away into the bargain," said a midshipman. 
 
 " They certainly did fight like devils. I wish we had taken 
 a prisoner or two." 
 
 "My eye, if we had ! wouldn't Deadeye have given them 
 a high hanging ?" said the middy. 
 
 " He'd have flogged him first and hanged him afterwards." 
 
 "Would his blood be the same color as his skin, I won- 
 der ?" inquired the middy, who seemed to have a turn for 
 philosophical investigations. 
 
 The whole of the party burst out into a loud roar of 
 laughter at this sally. 
 
 "I should like to have had a cast of that black ruffian's 
 head who was the leader of the gang ; he seemed one of the 
 finest animals I ever saw," said Dr. Colocynth, who had 
 just entered and taken his seat at the breakfast-table. 
 
 "Why, you look fagged and little wonder," he added. 
 
 " My arm is still painful," replied the first lieutenant. 
 
 "Take some breakfast, then, and turn in ; I'll make you 
 a cooling lotion to put upon it. No fever, eh ?" said the 
 medico, slightly touching with his forefinger the wrist of 
 the first lieutenant. 
 
 "Not a bit of fever as hot as the devil though ; some 
 
198 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 fellow gave me a confounded crack on the head when I was 
 down." 
 
 "Oh, wasn't it nearly all up with you then ?" said Staun- 
 ton, who was a bit of a wag in his way. 
 
 "I took good care of you with my marines, didn't I, my 
 boy?" said Hamilton. "By Jove! the daring of these fel- 
 lows surprises me." 
 
 "They took-us for a merchantman at first, and thought 
 they would easily run aboard of us ; then, when we showed 
 our teeth, their blood was up, and they wouldn't draw off." 
 
 "Well, not many of them have lived to tell the story." 
 
 "I rather imagine not," replied Staunton. 
 
 "Do they often try that sort of thing in these latitudes?" 
 
 "Yes; frequently upon merchant vessels and cruisers, 
 when they have a chance of success in shot." 
 
 " But seldom or never upon men-of-war." 
 
 "There have been instances, but they are of rare occur- 
 rence." 
 
 Having dispatched my breakfast, I went on deck. It 
 was one of those days when a general lassitude prevails. 
 The ocean calmly sleeps, as if it were wearied its broad 
 expanse reflecting the heaven above, from which it receives 
 its intensity of blue. The turtle rolls lazily along; and 
 the sea is undisturbed by even a breath of air, the surface 
 looking like a smooth and varnished mirror. The decks 
 had been cleared and set to rights, and the men were loung- 
 ing about or chatting, in twos and threes, upon the subject 
 of our recent encounter. A light breeze at last sprung up 
 from the eastward ; once more a ripple disturbed the face 
 of the ocean ; and, creeping from her enthralment, the Ida 
 got into the sea breeze and swept with crowded canvas 
 towards her destination. 
 
 " Sail ahoy I" was the cry from the fore-top-mast-head of 
 H.M.S. Ida, on the early morning of what promised to turn 
 
I 
 FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 199 
 
 out a remarkably fine day. The signal midshipman, having 
 brought his glass to bear upon the object which hove in 
 sight, was struck with admiration. The vessel which ap- 
 proached us was a splendid one ; and a square blue flag, 
 which flew at her fore-top-gallant-mast-head, indicated she 
 had the admiral on board. We exchanged the salutes 
 usual on such occasions, and proceeded to follow the move- 
 ments of our superior in command, The weather was misty, 
 and it began to blow from the south-west as we bowled 
 along ; towards evening it settled down into a species of 
 weather which was decidedly uncomfortable the wind, to 
 use the phrase of one of the sailors, having been engaged in 
 knocking in heaps about the deck, so that nearly every ten 
 minutes we were obliged to turn the sails to some light air 
 from a fresh direction. 
 
 " Why," said the first lieutenant, " the wind seems to be 
 blowing from all points of the compass at once ; a man might 
 be many a year at sea, and never meet with the like of this." 
 
 " Oh !" replied the master, " that's nothing to a gale I 
 encountered off the coast of France, when I was in the brig 
 Niobe. It had been as bright a summer's day as ever shone, 
 when about four bells in the afternoon watch, a breeze 
 sprung up from thirty points of the compass all at once ; 
 you may be surprised, but it is as true as gospel, they lifted 
 us all nearly out of the water ; some of us thought we were 
 going up to heaven, and perhaps a few were nearer it at that 
 time than they have ever been, either before or since, but we 
 were astray in our reckoning, enough of the Niobe remained 
 afloat to hold on by, and off we went at the rate of twenty 
 miles through the water." 
 
 " Why, Mr. Scott," said I, " you don't mean to assert 
 that to be a fact ?" 
 
 " He is the most infernal liar that ever was born," whis- 
 pered Morris, in my ear. 
 
I 
 200 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Fact, I will take my oath to it this blessed moment, by 
 I will," replied the master, who had a shrewd idea 
 
 that the whisper meant to impugn the accuracy of his state- 
 ment. 
 
 " Boy, bring my Bible," he said, turning to the cabin boy 
 who stood near. 
 
 " You have been tearing it up to light cigars with, sir, 
 for the last three weeks." 
 
 " You d d ass, can't you bring any one else's Bible and 
 say it's mine ?" 
 
 The boy haying departed on his errand, soon returned to 
 say, that he had searched everywhere in vain, a fact which 
 did not speak very highly for the piety of H.M.S. Ida and 
 her crew. 
 
 I was absurd enough, at this moment, to suggest, that if 
 he pleased I could lend him mine ; however, my offer was 
 met by such an unusual shout of laughter as did not encour- 
 age me to repeat it. 
 
 " Do you really think he'd mind an oath a single button, 
 or that his swearing so fast would make it one bit the more 
 veracious ?" said Hamilton, as we walked away together. 
 
 Having cast anchor off the coast, which we neared in the 
 course of the afternoon,' a boat was manned and dispatched 
 to the Admiral, which returned, having letter bags, and sun- 
 dry packages of newspapers, &c., with dispatches for the 
 captain. 
 
 I received some letters from home, which gave satisfac- 
 tory accounts of my friends ; having read them, I returned 
 to the ward-room, where I found the officer who had arrived 
 on board with the dispatches. He had a decanter of wine 
 before him from which he was regaling himself by copious 
 libations, while a little crowd of my messmates had flocked 
 round, and were literally devouring him with questions. 
 
 " Who have you on board ; any of the old set ?" 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 201 
 
 " Yes, Skysail and Mildmay." 
 
 " Ah ! Mildmay is afloat again, is he ? how does he get 
 on?" 
 
 " Ah, much better after his flogging." 
 
 " What do you mean ?" said Hamilton ; " flog a midship- 
 man ! I never heard of such a thing." 
 
 "Why, not exactly that either," replied the dispatch 
 bearer ; " only he was near it, which comes pretty near to 
 the same thing after all." 
 
 " How did it happen ? give us the particulars." 
 
 " Why, Mildmay was always rather too fond of cheek, 
 and in his last ship, the captain, always a tartar, would 
 stand no more of his impertinence, so one day he was 
 ordered up to the mast-head to cool himself. 
 
 " ' Mast-head, sir I what, you surely don't mean that 
 said Mildmay. 
 
 " ' Yes I do, though,' replied the captain, ' and stay there 
 too until you have my permission to come down again.' 
 
 " l Why, sir, upon my soul, that's too hard, now.' 
 
 " 'Another word, and you remain there all night.' 
 
 " ' Well, now, what a cursed tyrant,' whispered Mildmay, 
 as he reluctantly ascended the rigging, which was to con- 
 duct him to his destination. The captain, meanwhile, went 
 to his dinner ; an hour elapsed, then another ; at the end of 
 the third, Mildmay thought the captain had forgotten him, 
 and feeling tired of his uncomfortable situation, he descend- 
 ed, and stowed himself away somewhere, thinking he was 
 safe until morning. 
 
 " When the captain had dined, and drank his allowance of 
 claret, for there was a party that day, he requested the 
 first lieutenant to see to the culprit, and allow him to come 
 down. 
 
 " The first lieutenant having departed to execute his com- 
 mission, soon made his appearance, with the astounding 
 
 9* 
 
202 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 intelligence, that Mr. Mildmay was not to be found, and 
 hinted the probability that he might have fallen asleep on 
 his perch and dropped overboard. 
 
 " ' The infernal young villain, no ! he's too wide awake, 7 
 said Captain G ; 'have the ship searched, and fetch him 
 here the instant he's found/ 
 
 "It was not long before the first lieutenant returned, 
 bringing with him the object of his search, who looked not 
 one whit abashed by the enormity of his conduct. 
 
 " ' How dare you, sir, come down without my permis- 
 sion V 
 
 " 1 1 have had a severe cold for some days upon me, and 
 I really thought that further exposure would endanger my 
 life,' replied Mildmay, with unabashed effrontery. 
 
 " ' By G , I'll warm you. Howard, desire the boat- 
 swain's mate to fetch his cat here, and a quarter-master to 
 bring the seizings.' 
 
 " Mildmay was in a devil of a funk ; the stern countenance 
 of the captain showed he was not in a humor to be trifled 
 with so he held his tongue, and looked at the company 
 assembled at table, hoping that some of them (for his ready 
 wit had made him a great favorite) would interfere in his 
 behalf. 
 
 " The ministers of justice made their appearance; the boat- 
 swain's mate carried a red bag, in which was the instrument 
 of justice, and the quarter-master carried the seizings. 
 
 " ' Fasten this young gentleman to the breach of the gun, 
 quarter-master.' 
 
 " ' Will you be good enough to let me know one thing, 
 sir,' said Mildmay, ' before you punish me.' 
 
 " ' Yes, sir ; what is it ? No more impertinence, or I'll 
 flog the seven senses out of you.' 
 
 " ' Are you justified in punishing an officer in this way 
 without a court-martial ?' 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 203 
 
 " ' Tie him up, quarter-master/ roared the captain, in a 
 voice of thuuder. 
 
 " Mildmay was now tied up, and every arrangement made 
 preparatory to punishment. 
 
 " * Sir/ said he, ' I wish to say one word to you before 
 you begin/ 
 
 " l What have you to say V 
 
 " ' Only this : that I consider your conduct ungentle- 
 manly in the extreme.' 
 
 " ' Do your duty, boatswain's mate/ said the captain ; 
 'give him a dozen to begin with.' 
 
 " The boatswain's mate, a brawny fellow, with thews and 
 sinews like a giant, gave one swoop with his cat, and down 
 it came, with a ringing crack, upon the poor midshipman. 
 
 " ' Now, sir,' said the captain, ' what do you think of it? 
 are you sorry for your conduct V 
 
 " ' Yes, sir, extremely sorry,' whimpered the culprit. 
 
 "'Will you pledge me your honor, as an officer and a 
 gentleman, that you'll obey orders in future, and be guilty 
 of no further impertinence 
 
 " * I will, sir ; I pledge my honor/ 
 
 " ' On that condition, then, I'll let you off/ said the cap- 
 tain ; ' but, remember, I'm not to be trifled with. Cast him 
 off, quarter-master and mind, sir, let me see your face as 
 seldom as possible for some time to come.' 
 
 " ' No, nor any other part of me, if I can help,' replied 
 Mildmay, buttoning up his dress and retreating with con- 
 siderable precipitation.' 
 
 " Confound the fellow ! now I call that really too bad/' 
 said Hamilton ; "I hope we've not got him out here." 
 
 " No, I believe he did some other things, which did not 
 bring him into the list of advance at the Admiralty; so 
 they have let him lie by for a little ; at all events, he has no 
 command in this expedition." 
 
204 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " The devil mend him ! I should not like to sail with such 
 a beast." 
 
 " What sort of a fellow is old Deadeye V 9 
 
 " Oh ! a regular trump, but one of the old school bores 
 you a little he's so d d particular." 
 
 " I hate your particular people ; but I must be off now. 
 Will you see if there's anything for me to take back ?" said 
 the envoy, who, with a little assistance, had finished nearly 
 the whole of a decanter of sherry. 
 
 When I went on deck, it had come on to blow, the 
 courses were clewed up, and the men were aloft furling the 
 top-gallant sails. The wind, which had shifted several 
 points to the northward, was rapidly rising to a gale, and 
 the sea had risen. A little band of my messmates I found 
 discussing the news, and talking of the story they had just 
 heard. But it is time for me to turn from these private and 
 unimportant squabbles, to those in which nations were en- 
 gaged. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 CHINA. 
 
 IT was, as all the world I suppose is aware, in conse- 
 quence of the unjustifiable conduct of Commissioner Lin, 
 the imprisonment of Her Majesty's Plenipotentiary, and 
 other English subjects, with many acts of violence by which 
 his reign was marked, that called for stringent measures on 
 our part. The Court of Directors of the East India Com- 
 pany, as well as the British Government, had a common 
 object to protect our trade and our subjects in China, as 
 well as to demand reparation for the insults offered to the 
 person of our representative. I don't pretend to an accu- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 205 
 
 rate knowledge of the particulars of the original dispute. 
 The quarrel, as it stood, was a very pretty one and the 
 expedition of which we formed part, had been fitted out for 
 the purpose of bringing the Chinamen to their senses. Sir 
 W. Parker commanded it, and Sir Henry Pottinger went 
 as Plenipotentiary, with full power to negotiate any satis- 
 factory arrangement that could be adopted, so as to avoid, 
 if possible, the commencement of hostilities. But as it was 
 not expected, from the temper and tone of recent commu- 
 nications, that a pacific arrangement would be practicable, 
 and the scene of operations would necessarily be in rivers 
 and along the coasts, attention had been directed to the 
 fitting out of armed vessels especially adapted for that par- 
 ticular branch of the service. The practicability of using 
 iron as a material for ship-building had long been evident ; 
 the opportunity was considered a favorable one for testing 
 its superiority in the species of service upon which we were 
 engaged ; and, although some frigates and sail of the line 
 formed a portion of the expedition, it was for the most part 
 composed of strong-built iron steamers, constructed with 
 reference to their employment in river navigation. In 
 fitting them out adequately for this peculiar service, no 
 expense had been spared. The line had never yet been 
 crossed by an iron steamer. There was much doubt, there- 
 fore, as to their capability of weathering the rough sea 
 about southern Africa. A variety of questions respecting 
 the effect of lightning, the errors of the compass in or upon 
 vessels of this description, as well as the other great phe- 
 nomena of nature which are incident to voyages in tropical 
 climates, had been satisfactorily solved by the perfect suc- 
 cess of the expedition. It now only remained to be seen 
 how the steamers would stand the river service. The Ne- 
 mesis, although commanded principally by officers of the 
 Royal Navy, had been sent to sea as a merchant steamer 
 
206 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 and so profound a secret had her equipment and destina- 
 tion, as well as those of the remainder of her companions, 
 been kept, that it was not, as I have already intimated, 
 until very recently, that the whole extent of our mission had 
 transpired. 
 
 The Nemesis, which was destined to play a conspicuous 
 part in the subsequent events, was about seven hundred 
 tons in burthen. She was one hundred and eighty-four feet 
 in length, and in breadth about twenty-nine feet ; her en- 
 gines were of one hundred and twenty horse power ; she had 
 twelve days' supply of coals, with water and provisions for 
 four months, and stores of all descriptions, together with a 
 duplicate set of machinery in case any accident should 
 occur. Her ordinary draught of water was little more than 
 six feet, but commonly in actual service she did not draw 
 more than five. She had no keel and was perfectly flat- 
 bottomed, but for the purpose of obviating as far as it was 
 possible these disadvantages of her construction, she had 
 two movable keels, capable of being raised or lowered to 
 the depth of five feet below the bottom of the vessel. Each 
 of these was about seven feet in length, one placed before 
 and the other after the engine room. They were inclosed 
 in a narrow case a foot wide, which, being open underneath, 
 allowed the water to rise to the level of the sea on the out- 
 side. The entire length of the vessel was divided into seven 
 compartments, which were water-tight, by means of iron 
 bulk-heads, so that in case of any accident, such as striking 
 upon a rock, or a shot hole, the effect upon the compart- 
 ment where it should occur would not be attended with 
 any dangerous result to the remainder of the vessel. I 
 have thus been particular in the description of the vessel, as 
 it may serve to illustrate the tenor of her subsequent opera- 
 tions. 
 
 The weather for some days proved boisterous and squally, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 207 
 
 but at length we arrived at Hong-Kong, and from that time 
 every possible exertion was made for sailing northward. 
 Many of the ships had troops on board. After knocking 
 about the harbor for some days, we were delighted to see 
 the Nemesis hoist the signal for starting. It was a welcome 
 one to us. We should otherwise have been long in getting 
 to our position in the fleet, whereas in a few hours we were 
 towed up on their left to make the best of our way. A 
 signal made Chappel Island our place of rendezvous. The 
 breeze was fine and favorable, and we ran into the harbor 
 of Amoy on the evening of the 25th of August, in the year 
 of our Lord 1841. Several shots were fired at us from the 
 batteries as we entered, none of which, however, did the 
 smallest mischief. The fleet was formed into three divi- 
 sions ; the centre being under the command of Captain 
 Herbert, in the Blenheim, assisted by Commander Clarke 
 of the Columbine ; the starboard division was under Cap- 
 tain Bourabier of the Blonde, assisted by the Cruiser ; 
 while the second division was placed under the direction of 
 Captain Smith of the Druid, assisted by Commander Anson 
 of the Pylades. It was directed that a boat should be in 
 constant readiness on board of each transport, for the pur- 
 pose of towing the ships clear of each other in case of a 
 calm, and orders were given, that no boat should be per- 
 mitted to pass from one ship to another, without permis- 
 sion from the senior in command of the division. 
 
 The whole armament was composed of thirty-six sail, and, 
 unless I am greatly mistaken, the very sight must have 
 caused the Chinamen to quake in their little wooden shoes. 
 There were two line-of-battle ships and seven other ships 
 of war, namely, the Modeste, the Druid, the Columbine, 
 Blonde, Pylades, Cruiser, and Algerine. There was the 
 Rattlesnake troop ship and the Bentinck surveying vessel ; 
 four steamers, belonging to the East India Company, the 
 
208 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Queen, the Phlegethon, the Nemesis, and the Sesostris, be- 
 sides twenty-one hired transports and store-ships, most of 
 them of large size, many of considerably more than a thou- 
 sand tons burthen ; while the force stationed in the vicinity 
 of the Canton river was composed of six vessels of war, in- 
 cluding the Herald and Alligator, the whole under the 
 direction of that able seaman and efficient officer Captain 
 Nias. 
 
 The sun had risen in bright unclouded splendor as we 
 entered the harbor. It was a proud sight. The wooden 
 walls of England, which had braved so many a year the 
 battle fire and wreck, were here in all their glory, so many 
 thousand miles away from home, ready to strike terror into 
 the heart of the foe. The bright clear sea speaking fresh- 
 ness to the heart was just rippled by a gentle breeze. At 
 a short distance beneath our weather-beam, with the early 
 beams of morning glinting fr >m her bristling sides, her lofty 
 masts and superb hull, sailed the magnificent Blenheim, like 
 a lion moving in all the majesty of conscious power. The 
 batteries frowned upon us with awful sternness, but as yet 
 their iron mouths were silent. Before, however, I go fur- 
 ther, dear reader, I must inflict upon you a little bit of 
 description, which is absolutely necessary to enable you to 
 understand the difficulties surrounding the scene of action. 
 The harbor which we were entering is situated in the south- 
 eastern district of the island of Amoy, which, with another 
 known by the barbarous appellation of Quency, occupy a 
 considerable portion of a large bay studded with many sim- 
 ilar islands. The most remarkable of these, as having 
 direct reference to the subject of my description, is Kolingso, 
 which is only divided from Amoy by a narrow passage lead- 
 ing directly up to the harbor. This island is, as it were, the 
 key to the whole position. The scenery by which the town 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 209 
 
 was surrounded is very striking high mountains, some of 
 them wooded, slope away in the distance, and large rivers 
 coming from the heart of the country, discharge their 
 waters into the bay. The town appeared about ten miles 
 in circumference ; it is concealed by fortified heights. The 
 suburbs, which were extensive, appeared separated from the 
 inner town by a line of rocky hills, which extended trans- 
 versely down to the sea along the face of the outer town, 
 or what may be called the outer harbor, which extended 
 along the front and formed a large estuary that ran deep 
 into the island across its centre, and skirted the northern 
 side of the city. The whole front of the city is there 
 washed by the sea ; the walls appeared strongly built and 
 castellated at the top. Immense forts and field-works had 
 been erected on the heights which commanded the town, as 
 well as upon the smaller islands by which the harbor is 
 studded. We could see at a glance that extensive prepa- 
 rations had been made to give us a warm reception ; a line 
 of guns for nearly a mile in length bristled from a long 
 stone battery, faced with turf, which stretched right in front 
 of the town. 
 
 The small island of Koliugso, which stood directly in 
 our course, the passage between it and the town being not 
 more than six hundred yards across, seemed likely to op- 
 pose a formidable impediment. It was literally bristling 
 with heavy cannon. 
 
 Such was the position of affairs when we sailed into the 
 harbor under the influence of a favorable wind. Every- 
 thing was in readiness. The captains, who had gone on 
 board of the Admiral for instructions, had returned to 
 their respective ships. The gigantic Nemesis, with her 
 smoky companions, were engaged in letting off their super- 
 fluous steam, and every soul on board was anxiously await- 
 
210 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 ing the expected signal for the commencement of operations, 
 when a small boat was observed putting off from the shore 
 bearing a flag of truce. 
 
 " I'm blowed if they ain't a-going to strike sail after all," 
 said an old quarter-master who stood near me. 
 
 " We shall have all our trouble for nothing then, that's 
 all about it," said Hamilton. 
 
 " It's the old story of the King of France with his sixty 
 thousand men," interrupted Staunton, who was looked upon, 
 as I have already intimated, as the wit of the mess. 
 
 "Watch old Deadeye, how he's twitching his empty 
 sleeve about." (I forget whether I mentioned that our 
 captain had lost his left arm at the battle of Trafalgar.) 
 
 " Maybe he's not angry ; he thinks there's going to be 
 no fighting after all." 
 
 By this time the boat containing the flag of truce had 
 gone on board of the Admiral, and it soon became known 
 that the object of the embassage was simply to inquire 
 what were the intentions of our squadron. It soon trans- 
 pired, also, that an answer had been returned, which was 
 calculated to allay the apprehensions of all fire-eaters. In 
 the name of her Majesty, it was requested that certain very 
 stringent demands which, in the preceding year, had been 
 made by Captain Elliott, should, without further delay, be 
 complied with ; or that, in case of refusal, hostilities would 
 instantly commence ; but as the commanders of the expedi- 
 tion would willingly spare the effusion of blood, which other- 
 wise must necessarily ensue, they were willing to allow all 
 the troops in the town to retire with their arms and bag- 
 gage, on condition that the fortifications should at once be 
 abandoned, and the town of Amoy delivered over into the 
 possession of the British troops. In case this very reason- 
 able demand was not complied with, the refusal on the part 
 of the Chinese authorities, it was politely requested, should 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 211 
 
 be notified by .the erection of a white flag upon the cit- 
 adel. 
 
 The morning was oppressively warm as we lay for two 
 mortal hours exposed to the full glare of a meridian sun, 
 waiting to see whether the Chinese would make up their 
 minds to be cannonaded or not. At length, more than two 
 mortal hours having elapsed, during which the men exhibit- 
 ed symptoms of the greatest impatience, we observed the 
 Admiral hoist the signal for the commencement of the at- 
 tack. It was a magnificent sight to see how beautifully 
 the ships stood in defying the batteries which frowned so 
 awfully upon them. The Sesostris led the van, the Welles- 
 ley and the Blenheim followed, but did not fire a shot until 
 they were within less than four hundred yards from the 
 principal battery ; but as the attack deserves a chapter for 
 itself, I shall reserve my description for the next. 
 
 CHAPTER YII. 
 THE BATTLE OF AMOY. 
 
 IN the course of a few minutes the Ida had taken up her 
 appointed station. The Blonde, Druid and Modeste came 
 to close by the works of Kolingso ; and we were soon hotly 
 engaged. The roar of the artillery was tremendous. The 
 Chinese worked their guns well, but not expecting in all 
 probability we would come quite so near to them, the range 
 was too high, and the shot for some time flew harmlessly 
 over us, hurting nothing more than a spar or a sail ; this 
 error was, however, soon rectified. 
 
 " Hallo, Bill 1 we want more shot here," shouted one of 
 the men who was working a gun. 
 
 "Ay, ay, you shall have it." 
 
212 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " D n it, let them have it," shouted Hamilton, who was 
 standing near. 
 
 "Mr. Hamilton," said the first lieutenant, with a solemn 
 visage, " this is no place for swearing ; if this lasts much 
 longer, you may be in another world soon." 
 
 " Hurrah ! then, go it, my boys, have at 'em with a will," 
 shouted my valiant messmate, as Bill came tumbling up the 
 hatchway with two large canvas bags filled with rusty iron, 
 cannon balls, and wads. Most of my messmates had taken 
 off their neckcloths, which were tied round their waists ; 
 some helped the men to work the guns. As for myself, 
 seeing there was nothing for me to do, I stood with my 
 hands in my pockets a spectator whose only concern at 
 that moment, I must confess, was, whether any one would 
 soon be shot, coupled with an ardent aspiration that the 
 unfortunate individual might be any other than myself. As 
 yet there had been no harm done, and I was beginning to 
 congratulate myself that the damage was likely to be all 
 on one side. 
 
 Having observed some men, who were stationed on the 
 forecastle, cheering heartily to their comrades below, I 
 walked in the direction to see what was going on. Nine 
 men were stationed there with the first lieutenant at their 
 head. They seemed, like myself, to be merely lookers-on. 
 The long guns, which belonged more properly to this part 
 of the deck, had in consequence of their extensive range 
 been removed to another position which afforded more space 
 to work them. 
 
 These men, I soon discovered, were stationed at their 
 post in order to watch and repair any temporary damages. 
 They had as yet nothing to do except look on and shout, 
 which they seemed doing to the very utmost of their ability. 
 They were equally exposed with the rest of us, and in the 
 absence of the excitement attendant upon physical exertion 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 213 
 
 and hard firing, they were endeavoring to amuse themselves 
 by encouraging their comrades. 
 
 " Hurrah ! my hearties, pitch it into them," said one. 
 
 " A little bit lower ; now for it ! there goes a gun knocked 
 to eternal smash 1" shouted another. 
 
 It was an elderly seaman who spoke, and just as he had 
 uttered the words a round shot came tearing along ; the 
 men all dodged on one side with the exception of the last 
 speaker, whose attention had been so much occupied by see- 
 ing the Chinese gun knocked to eternal smash that he was 
 placed in that predicament himself. That was the first 
 blood I saw drawn, and I must confess that when I saw 
 the form which a minute ago had been all life and anima- 
 tion, stretched on the deck a lifeless mass of clay, I did feel 
 what Mrs. Harris, had that worthy lady been present, 
 would have called a turn ; however, the rest of the men 
 took no notice and went on with their cheering as heartily 
 as ever. 
 
 I walked away and rejoined Hamilton, who was standing 
 by the bulwark with one of the ropes in his hand, superin- 
 tending the working of a gun. I had scarcely come up 
 when a round shot came whistling through the sides, knock- 
 ing bolts, planks, and everything else before it. When the 
 crash was over I saw Hamilton was down ; I ran towards 
 him, but he was unhurt ; the rope upon which he had been 
 leaning was cut in two at a little distance from his hand, 
 and he was merely knocked down and a little stunned by 
 the wind of the shot. 
 
 " Close shave that, by Jove I" said he, rising from his 
 recumbent posture. 
 
 The firing was now tremendous ; such an infernal din I 
 certainly never heard before, nor do I expect to hear the 
 like again. Our guns were, however, doing their work, 
 while the batteries to which we were opposed were rapidly 
 
214 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 becoming dismantled ; and the men gave a hearty cheer as 
 they saw each of them rendered hors de combat. In the 
 meantime the Blonde and Druid had not been idle. The 
 three principal batteries on the island of Kolingso were 
 now completely silent, and a party of marines had been 
 landed and had taken possession of the forts. 
 
 " They say poor little Mr. is killed, sir," said one of 
 
 the men, coming up with rather a rueful expression of coun- 
 tenance ; "and two others besides. I have just come up 
 from below. The surgeon says there's no chance, but I 
 can't quite learn the rights of it yet." 
 
 At this moment Shaw came walking forward along the 
 gangway, when a round shot from the batteries struck the 
 hammock netting, tearing out the feathers and blankets, 
 and hitting Shaw upon that portion of the human form 
 which for some wise reason it is considered alike indecorous 
 to turn to a friend or to an enemy. Over went the short 
 gentleman like a ninepin, but the force of the ball had been 
 nearly expended when it reached the ship, and the yielding 
 nature of the fabric through which it had to pass had taken 
 away any of its remaining power for mischief. 
 
 " Well, I never was hit there in my time before," said 
 Shaw, getting up and rubbing the part affected. 
 
 "If the Chinamen had put a little more powder into that 
 'ere gun I'd have felt obliged to them," growled a seaman 
 near me whom Shaw had ordered to be punished a few 
 days previously. 
 
 When I returned to my post on the quarter-deck, I found 
 some of my messmates who had supplied the place of the 
 wounded men and were busily engaged in working a gun. 
 Old Deadeye was all alive and kicking, superintending the 
 operations and working his empty sleeve about as if it was 
 under the operation of galvanism. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 215 
 
 " D n them, they'll soon have had enough of it ; raise 
 the gun a little, there. Why the devil don't you work, 
 sir ?" he said, turning upon me like a savage. 
 
 " So I will, sir, but I can find nothing to do." 
 
 "Here, then, you had better help Hamilton and Ellis 
 with that gun." 
 
 " Ha 1" said Ellis, "Pm glad to find you alive and hearty, 
 my buck, kicking, sir, like a cover on a copper tea-kettle. 
 What the devil have you been about all this time ? So 
 there, a little aloft," he said, looking along the sight of 
 the gun he was pointing. 
 
 The trigger line was in his hand, which he was just about 
 to pull, when crash came a round shot ; in an instant every 
 man of us was floored, the port hole had been carried away, 
 the tackles shivered to pieces, and splinters knocked about 
 in all directions. One of them had hit Ellis in both arms, 
 another knocked Hamilton over, while I received a nasty 
 bruise ou the hip from a fragment of one of the bolts. 
 
 "Any of you killed, boys ?" said old Deadeye. 
 
 "Not so bad as that, sir," replied Hamilton; " only a 
 little frightened, that's all." 
 
 " Up and at 'em again ; fire out the gun ; we'll have the 
 place set to rights presently." 
 
 While I was stooping in the endeavor to execute these 
 orders, I heard ^ie whiz and crash of a shot overhead ; it 
 only carried away one of the stanchions, and went plump 
 into the mast, where it stood out like an enormous pea. 
 
 The unpleasant reflection then occurred to me, and it was 
 doubly disagreeable to remember, that had I been standing 
 upright, the shot must have gone straight through me. I 
 felt my .courage begin to ooze a little through my fingers' 
 ends, but the glance of the old captain, as I looked up, 
 revived me. 
 
216 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Every bullet has its billet, you son of a sea cook !" he 
 said ; " that was meant for the main mast, and there it is, 
 you see." 
 
 " Hurrah, hurrah, my boys ! they strike, they strike !" 
 shouted a dozen seamen all at once, as forth from the canopy 
 of smoke which shrouded the batteries, out of which red 
 livid glares of light had been darting, arose into the calm, 
 bright summer air a small white flag. We gave three hearty 
 cheers at the welcome sight, and paused to rest from our 
 labors. 
 
 I should not pass over in silence the military operations 
 by which our men had been so admirably seconded ; it will 
 be enough briefly to dwell upon them. 
 
 The Phlegethon and Nemesis had been brought up close 
 alongside the shore, with the troops on board, and a num- 
 ber of boats ready for their disembarkation. Under cover 
 of our fire they were safely landed, under the inspection of 
 Commander GHfford, of the Cruiser ; a small outwork upon 
 a hill near the beach having been escaladed, the British flag 
 was placed on its summit, and the troops then advanced to 
 attack the town. To the Eighteenth Royal Irish was as- 
 signed the honorable duty of escalading the castellated 
 walls by which the principal battery was guarded, which 
 ran along the hill-side at right angles to the march. The 
 Forty-ninth Regiment were ordered to move in a parallel 
 direction towards the lower angle, and storm its embra- 
 sures. 
 
 As the parties advanced, each upon their respective ob- 
 jects of attack, a heavy matchlock fire was opened upon 
 them, which, in consequence of the exposed nature of their 
 situation, did considerable mischief Nothing daunted, how- 
 ever, they advanced, with three hearty cheers, to the attack. 
 Having arrived at the wall, the scanty scaling ladders were 
 found a serious drawback. They were obliged, in the facQ 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 217 
 
 of a heavy fire, to mount on each other's shoulders to 
 gain the top of the wall. Captain Hall was the first to 
 make good his footing, and having cut down the Chinese 
 who opposed him in single combat, he coolly took out of 
 his pocket a small flag, which he had carried for the occa- 
 sion, and waved it in token of triumph ; but this exhibition 
 was a little premature. The Chinese still continued to 
 make a stout resistance, but the storming party being 
 joined by the Eighteenth Royal Irish and the Forty-ninth, 
 who had also forced their way through the embrasures, 
 formed a force which carried everything before it. 
 
 The most difficult portion had, however, yet to be carried. 
 This was a steep range of sentry heights which commanded 
 the city. Had this been stoutly defended, the loss of the 
 attacking party would have been most severe. It was here 
 that two Chinese officers of high rank, mounted on horse- 
 back, made a determined resistance. The leader of the 
 storming party, conceiving it would be a fine opportunity 
 for making a prisoner of distinction, made a dash at the 
 foremost, but he was instantly surrounded by the body- 
 guard of the mandarin. A few of our soldiers contrived to 
 penetrate, and now a hand-to-hand encounter took place of 
 the most desperate description. The Chinese officer, who 
 wore the white button, was a tall and remarkably athletic 
 man. Captain Hall singled him out, and after a sword 
 fight which lasted several minutes, the mandarin fell, severely 
 wounded in the arm. His sword was taken from him, 
 together with his other badges of distinction. A vigorous 
 attempt at his rescue was made by the Chinese. Our party 
 were surrounded and nearly cut down before further aid 
 could arrive. Thus, the object of the assailants was not so 
 much the defeat of the enemy as the rescue of their prisoner, 
 which they succeeded at last in accomplishing; and the 
 mandarin, who, from his beinc: the subject of such great 
 
 l 
 
218 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 competition, must evidently have been a person of great 
 consequence, was borne off in triumph. 
 
 The attack had now succeeded ; the Chinese were in full 
 flight in every direction, closely followed by a body of 
 our men, which had, in the meantime, been thrown ashore 
 from the Wellesley, under Commander Fletcher. Upon 
 going within the battery, many of the Chinese were found 
 dead, but the wounded had nearly all contrived to make 
 their escape. In a cavern in the rocks were collected a 
 great number of old men, women, and children, who had 
 fled there for shelter from the shot. They set up a piteous 
 yelling, being, I suppose, in the full expectation of having 
 their throats cut from ear to ear, as it is the policy of the 
 Chinese to represent us in the most unfavorable light, as 
 cruel persecutors and savages. Many Chinese officers of 
 the highest rank had fallen during this eventful day some 
 of them, it was said, by their own hands. The Chinese 
 commander, seeing all was lost, walked quietly into the 
 water until it covered his head, and remained there until he 
 died. Such was the battle of Amoy. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 THE DAY AFTER THE BATTLE. 
 
 BY half-past five o'clock the action was at an end. Par- 
 tial firing still went on in different parts of the navy for 
 some hours, but the general cannonade had ceased ; and 
 Captain Deadeye, after seeing that every precaution had 
 been taken for the safety of the ship, made it his business to 
 visit the wounded in order to see that proper attention was 
 paid to them. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 219 
 
 I went down below, to try if I could get a little snooze, 
 as I felt greatly fatigued and exhausted from long exposure 
 to the sun ; a drowsiness came over me which I could hardly 
 call sleep. Visions of the battle floated before me, and 
 phantoms full of conflagrations and uproar, mingled with 
 apparitions of .young ladies, filled my overheated imagina- 
 tion ; then the scene would change, and I would find myself 
 once more among the pleasant glades and green fields of my 
 own country. No one, perhaps, who has not mingled in 
 the excitement and din of warfare, can imagine the feeling 
 of gentleness and tranquillity which is connected with every 
 vision or recollection of home. I had spent a couple of 
 hours or so in this species of somnolent indulgence, when I 
 was awoke by the noise on deck caused by the operations 
 of the men who were engaged in clearing away the devasta- 
 tion occasioned by the Chinese guns, and in executing the 
 necessary repairs. 
 
 I went on the deck, pausing in my way to visit the cock- 
 pit, which was filled with wounded men ; there the surgeon 
 was hard at work, with his coat off and his shirt sleeves 
 rolled up to his elbows. He looked like a butcher in the 
 shambles. I felt a sickness of heart and a sensation of 
 faintness come over me which were quite overpowering, but 
 as I turned to go, I heard a voice feebly articulate my 
 name ; it was that of the old coxswain, who had been badly 
 wounded. 
 
 " Ah, Pipes, my poor fellow, is that you ? How are you ?" 
 " It's all up with me, sir ; I'm bound for Davy Jones this 
 time." 
 
 " Cheer up, my boy, you'll get all right again." 
 " No, sir, no," the old man said, " I'm settled at last ; 
 Death's hard aboard of me. My top-light is growing dim ; 
 Fll never cross the line no more. Let me have your hand 
 for a moment, sir." 
 
220 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 I gave him my hand, and as I looked at his uneasy and 
 sunburnt features, over which the salt tears were rolling, I 
 felt greatly affected. 
 
 " I han't known you long, sir ; this is our first cruise to- 
 gether, but I have a small favor which, as you look a kindly 
 gentleman, I hope you'll not refuse me." 
 
 "What is it, Pipes? I'll do anything you want, depend 
 upon me." 
 
 " See, sir, if you please, that the d d old gunner don't 
 make me chew more baccy than my allowance when Fm 
 shoved off." 
 
 " I'll take care of that for you, Pipes ;" although for the 
 life of me I could not, at that time, make out what the 
 poor fellow meant. 
 
 " I've just an old 'oman, sir, too, as lives near Portslade, 
 in John Street, No. 10 ; if you should ever happen to be 
 down that way, and inquire if she's got my pay and all 
 that, I'd thank you." 
 
 " You may depend upon me, Pipes, I'll do it." 
 
 " Thank'ee, sir ; I expected it from your kindly face. 
 Here I'm a sheer hulk, my spar gone, never to answer to 
 my helm no more. I'll never see Portslade again, nor make 
 auld Beachy in a misty morning ; but it's all the same, we 
 must go when our time comes." 
 
 As the poor fellow uttered these words, his grasp tight- 
 ened, then relaxed ; a film came over his eyes ; his frame 
 was agitated by a momentary convulsion : all was over. 
 The spirit of the sailor had drifted off, from the troubled 
 sea of human misery to a harbor where no unquiet waters 
 ever come. 
 
 The Chinese batteries still continued to burn, and the 
 discharge at intervals of their heated guns sounded like 
 mournful minute guns lamenting the devastation which had 
 been committed during the day ; while, as the night drew 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 221 
 
 on, a gentle breeze arose, which, whistling through our torn 
 rigging, seemed to sound as it were a fitting requiem for the 
 spirit which had passed away. 
 
 When daylight appeared on the following morning, all 
 hands were turned up to clear away the wreck. Our loss 
 had been very inconsiderable ; and we were being engaged 
 in knotting, splicing, cutting, getting up new rope, and stor- 
 ing away the remnants of the old rigging, when a voice was 
 heard summoning all hands on deck ; there we found old 
 Deadeye with the other officers collected in a cluster around 
 him. He addressed us in a short speech, praising our con- 
 duct, and complimenting the master in high terms for the 
 admirable manner in which he had brought the ship along- 
 side the battery. Our names were then called over, and we 
 piped all hands to breakfast. 
 
 After getting our vessel refitted, in about eight days we 
 sailed out of the harbor ; the rendezvous appointed for the 
 fleet being a promontory, called the Buffalo's Nose, which 
 is situated near to the entrance of the Chusan group of 
 islands. Our progress was at first rather slow in conse- 
 quence of a heavy ground-swell accompanied by light winds, 
 but we kept pretty close in-shore, and so continued to work 
 our way notwithstanding the combination of adverse circum- 
 stances. 
 
 When we cleared the harbor it had been fine weather, 
 but towards noon it began to blow. We were coasting 
 along about musket-shot from the white beach, with the 
 clear bright green sea on our right, and beyond it the dark 
 waters of the blue and stormy ocean, and the snow-white 
 waving surf on our left hand, as we wore to the breeze. 
 There was the beach almost level. with the water, the land 
 was covered with beautiful white sand and shells, which 
 glittered transparently along the surface. The north-east 
 monsoon now began to set in, making its appearance rather 
 
222 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 earlier than usual, and accompanied by heavy squalls and a 
 thick spray, which caused the separation of our squadron. 
 At the commencement of this change of weather, old Dead- 
 eye had been in unusual good-humor. He was gratified at 
 the conspicuous position the Ida had occupied in the recent 
 action, and pleased beyond measure at his name having been 
 honorably mentioned in the dispatches. Some injuries hav- 
 ing, however, been sustained by the spars, which had oc- 
 curred in consequence of the carelessness of one or two of 
 the men, the captain lost his temper, and swore an oath, too 
 awful to be set down here, that upon the next occasion that 
 such an accident occurred, he would make a severe example 
 of the offender. Now, Deadeye was by no means the man- 
 ner of man to be trifled with, as John Handlead soon found 
 to his cost. Handlead was a careless, contumacious sort 
 of fellow, fond of discourse, as well as of more grog than 
 was quite good for him, and having been found guilty of 
 repeated acts of carelessness and disobedience of orders, he 
 was ordered up for punishment. It was upon a certain 
 Thursday a black Thursday the men were mustered at 
 dinner ; the carpenters having been previously ordered to 
 rig the gratings, which were accordingly in readiness. The 
 culprit stands upon one of them, to which his feet are fast- 
 ened, and he leans against the other, to which his hands are 
 tied. The officers are assembled in gala dress all the ma- 
 rines drawn up under arms, and the whole of the ship's com- 
 pany mustered on the opposite side of the deck. The mas- 
 ter stood near the gratings, with his sword in his hand. I 
 marvelled much at this wonderful display when I considered 
 the occasion of it, and I expressed my wonderment to a 
 messmate who stood near, when the only reply I could elicit 
 was that of 
 
 "How jolly green you are !" 
 
 Green, indeed, I may have been, but I soon turned white. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 223 
 
 The arrangements having been completed, the first lieuten- 
 ant went below to report to the captain, who speedily 
 made his appearance on deck. All was silent. I must 
 confess I felt a more anxious trembling about the nerves in 
 the region of the heart than I did when we were going into 
 action. 
 
 "John Handlead, stand forward." 
 
 Old Deadeye, in his calmest of moods, was seldom free 
 from a species of nervous agitation, nor had nature gifted 
 him with eloquence. He was now performing a duty which 
 he evidently did not like nearly so much as blazing away at 
 the Chusan batteries. 
 
 " John Handlead," he said, " I am really sorry to see you 
 brought up here. You have been guilty of repeated acts 
 of disobedience to orders. You have neglected your du- 
 ties neglected them shamefully. You are likely to become 
 a disgrace to the profession of a British seaman. Discipline 
 is" the life of the service it must be maintained ; and I 
 should be neglecting my duty if I did not punish you as you 
 deserve, as an example to the rest of the ship's company. 
 Strip, sir." 
 
 John Handlead turned a quid of tobacco which he had in 
 his mouth, coolly squirted the juice on the deck, and began 
 deliberately to peel himself. 
 
 "Seize him up," said the captain. 
 
 The hands of the prisoner were then tied to the upper 
 grating, and his feet lashed firmly to that underneath. 
 
 A master-at-arms then threw a covering over his shoul- 
 ders, while the clerk read aloud the articles of war relative 
 to the punishment of any seaman who should be found 
 guilty of negligence of duty. 
 
 This being done, we all put on our hats, which had been 
 taken off during the performance of this portion of the 
 drama. 
 
224 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Give him a dozen," said the captain. 
 
 The boatswain's mate, a large athletic fellow, with thews 
 and sinews like a giant, seized his cat. The handle was 
 about two feet in length, covered with red cloth. The tails 
 of this weapon were nine in number, each of them about 
 the size of the cord used for fastening a portmanteau. 
 
 The mate, who handled this instrument with the air, of 
 an adept, looked at it from top to bottom, cleared out all 
 the tails with his fingers, and held out the mere ends in his 
 left hand, as the right was raised to inflict the lash. He 
 then gave his arm and body a sudden swing the tails 
 whizzed through the air, and as they came down upon the 
 naked creeping flesh, and I saw the long red marks im- 
 printed upon it, a deadly sickness overcame me, and I was 
 obliged to lean against the bulwark for support When I 
 looked up again, the drops of blood were slowly trickling 
 down the prisoner's back. The first dozen had been fin- 
 ished, and the executioner rested from his labors, looking 
 for further orders from the captain. 
 
 " John Handlead," said the latter, " are you sorry for 
 your offences will you amend in future IT 
 
 " D n you for a lubber," grunted the seaman from be- 
 tween his clenched teeth. 
 
 " What does he say ?" said old Deadeye ; " I can't hear 
 him." 
 
 " That he's sorry, I believe," said the first lieutenant, 
 who humanely wished to hide what he knew would be the 
 result. 
 
 " I said, d n you," roared the prisoner. 
 
 " Oh, very well ! call another boatswain's mate then," 
 said Captain Deadeye. 
 
 The new practitioner pulled off his coat, holding his hat 
 in his left hand, and stroking his hair down his forehead 
 with the right. 
 
FUN, FKIGATES, AND YACHTING. 225 
 
 " Give this man two dozen," said Deadeye, " and if you 
 favor him, I'll have you put under arrest, and stop your 
 grog." 
 
 This gentleman was as large as the last. Having plant- 
 ed himself firmly on his feet, he set to work ; but this fresh 
 application of the lash did not elicit from the prisoner a 
 single exclamation of pain. He bore his punishment in sul- 
 len silence, and when the three dozen had been reported as 
 having been inflicted, 
 
 " What do you say now, John Handlead, are you sorry ?" 
 inquired the captain. 
 
 But unfortunate John Handlead was beyond the expres- 
 sion of regret or despair in a word, he had fainted away. 
 He was cast loose restoratives were applied, and he soon 
 came to himself. As for me, it was some time before I could 
 get the scene out of my memory. The punishment is terri- 
 ble, but I suppose it is a necessary one. 
 
 " What ailed you this morning ?" inquired Hamilton, as 
 we were seated round the mess-table at supper. 
 
 " I think that scene this morning was most disgusting 
 and painful." 
 
 " What would you do with a rebellious rascal like 
 that r 
 
 " Is there no other mode of punishment that would serve 
 quite as well ?" 
 
 " Oh, yes ; there, for instance, is the black list." ** 
 
 " What may the black list be V 
 
 "It is made up of men who have been found guilty of 
 trifling offences, not sufficient to entitle them to be placed 
 on the list of the first prisoners." 
 
 " And what is done with them ?" 
 
 " Oh, that depends upon the taste of the captain en- 
 tirely." 
 
 " By Jove," interrupted Staunton, " I heard of one who 
 10* 
 
226 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 made the black list men, when the day's work was over, 
 carry about their hammocks, with a musket lashed up in it ; 
 at every six feet or so, a rope was placed across the quarter- 
 deck, about three feet from the floor, over which they had 
 to step ; it was worse than going up the treadmill." 
 
 " That was an ingenious device, indeed." 
 
 " I heard of another," replied Hamilton, " who had a fancy 
 that the iron pins about the ship should be polished until 
 they shone like silver ; some water the grog ; others stop 
 it entirely. There is no end to the fertility of their imagi- 
 nations. It is nasty, to be sure ; but upon the whole, I be- 
 lieve the men themselves like to be flogged better than 
 anything else." 
 
 " Now, suppose there was no such thing as flogging, 
 what would be the result ?" 
 
 "We should go to the bottom like winking, I guess," 
 said Walter. 
 
 " There would be loss of masts and of lives, wrecks, fires, 
 and all manner of devilment," said Hamilton ; " in short, the 
 service would go entirely to the devil." 
 
 " I think it is going there as it is," said Staunton. 
 
 " Well, perhaps it may be ; but slowly." 
 
 " Promotion is infernally slow." 
 
 " Are you fit to be promoted ?" 
 
 " Yes, I am decidedly of that opinion." 
 
 " Could you, for instance, bring a ship of ninety guns into 
 action, with all the batteries blazing away at you, as old 
 Hum did the Ida ?" 
 
 " Why, I'm not so sure of that ; in the meantime hand 
 me some more grog." 
 
 "It is ten o'clock, gentlemen ; please to put out the 
 lights," said the master-at-arms, opening enough of the door 
 to admit his head. 
 
 "By all means, master-at-arms ; dowse the glims, boys," 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 227 
 
 said one of the oldsters. Not many minutes had elapsed, 
 during which, it is needless to say, the order had not been 
 attended to, for we were so busily engaged in discussing the 
 question of flogging, with other important nautical affairs, 
 that we forgot all about it, 
 
 " Gentlemen, it is past ten," said the quarter-master, 
 opening the door once more. " I really must report you 
 to the first lieutenant." 
 
 " Very well, we'll do it in less than no time. Hamilton, 
 send the rum this way ; do you think no one has a mouth 
 but yourself ?" 
 
 " That reminds me of a story I heard the last time I was 
 in Ireland," replied Hamilton, who was a native of that 
 country. 
 
 11 What is it out with it, whatever it is." 
 
 " Why, some Papist gentlemen were dining together 
 during Lent, and although they don't eat meat, they do eat 
 salmon and lobster sauce, or turbot with ditto, as the case 
 may be ; that they call fasting, I was at a party where 
 some one grabbed up rather more of the fish than fell to 
 his share. 
 
 " ' Hallo, stop that,' said a longing companion, pulling 
 the dish away from him. t Deuce take you for a gorman- 
 dizing vagabond ; do you think no one has a soul to be 
 saved but yourself T " 
 
 Again the master-at-arms made his appearance. " Gen- 
 tlemen," he said, " I really must go to the first lieutenant 
 I am very sorry but you know it's my duty." 
 
 "Take a glass of grog, old Weather-the-Mizen," said 
 Hamilton, " before you go." 
 
 " I shall be most happy, sir your health, gentlemen 1" 
 said the master. 
 
 " We will put out the lights, and no mistake ; hand that 
 lanthorn here," said Stauntqn. 
 
228 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 The candle was shut up in its tin case accordingly, and 
 the master departed ; but the instant his back was turned, 
 it was taken out again. At length the noise and uproar 
 of the party rose to such a height, that a messenger came 
 from the first lieutenant, ordering us instantly to repair to 
 our hammocks, whither we went accordingly. 
 A STRANGE SAIL. 
 
 For some days the gale continued and one morning 
 we had been skipping along the shore, with the land-wind 
 on our beam, at the rate of five or six knots ; but so quietly 
 that I could hear the roar of the surf, as the long, smooth 
 swell broke on the beach, which, from the loudness of the 
 noise, could not be more than a mile to leeward of us. It 
 was a cloudy morning ; as we rose and fell on the long seas, 
 with our sails flapping and bulk-heads creaking, the black 
 clouds which had lowered along the horizon, spread rapidly, 
 and the weather had all the appearance of becoming rather 
 dirtier than usual. The breeze was fitful, and came down 
 in sudden irregular gusts or catspaws, as the nautical phrase 
 is, when a strange sail was signalled to be abaft our weather- 
 beam. 
 
 The glasses of Captain Deadeye and of the other officers 
 were anxiously pointed in the direction indicated, and in 
 less than half an hour a vessel hove in sight. 
 
 "What do you make of her, Mr. Morris ?" said the cap- 
 tain to the first lieutenant, as he sat aloft with his glass 
 directed towards the new arrival, 
 
 " A large junk, sir, standing right away from the shore." 
 
 " What did he say ?" inquired Hamilton, who stood near 
 the gangway. 
 
 " A junk, I believe." 
 
 "Bravo I" said Hamilton, clapping his hands ; " we shall 
 get some prize money at last." 
 
 "To be sure we shall ; I'll sell my share of it." 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 229 
 
 "What will you take?" 
 
 " I'll take ten pounds for it ready money down, though." 
 
 " I don't much like speculating ; but, if you please, I'll 
 give you half." 
 
 "What, five pounds for a Chinese junk ! laden, perhaps, 
 with Sicee silver ; what a greenhorn you must think me : 
 five pounds ! Well, I remember now, I'm rather hard up, 
 I will accept your offer ; give me the blunt." 
 
 "You must trust to my honor. I'll pay you the first 
 port we touch at." 
 
 "Ah, that's quite another matter ; not that I doubt your 
 honor in the least ; but I should much rather have the 
 money." 
 
 In the meantime we had rapidly neared the junk, which 
 was, like all vessels of her class, a slow sailer. Perceiv- 
 ing us in pursuit of her, she ran in towards the shore, and 
 at length got into water so shallow as to render any fur- 
 ther pursuit of her rather a dangerous venture. Old Dead- 
 eye, having run the Ida as close in as the depth of water 
 would permit, within about two miles of her, cast anchor, 
 and ordered out the boats. 
 
 The officers and men who were selected for the service 
 were called up and mustered on the quarter-deck ; in the 
 meanwhile the wind had fallen, and it was nearly a dead 
 calm. Everything was soon in readiness. The boats re- 
 ceived their guns, which were fixed on slides, so as to ren- 
 der it practicable to fire them over the bows, if it was found 
 necessary, without interfering with the operation of the oars. 
 The sailors, with their cutlasses belted round their waists, 
 the marines with their muskets, all stepped in. The order 
 was given to shove off. The crews tossed their oars, and 
 with three hearty cheers, set out on their expedition. 
 
 I was in the pinnace, which led the way, and in less than 
 an hour we had arrived within gun-shot of the Chinaman. 
 
230 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, ^ , 
 
 " There is a gun from her," said one of the crew, as a 
 long volume of blue smoke came rolling over the water. 
 
 " The devil there is ! what, she'll show fight, then, will 
 she ?" replied the first lieutenant. Slowly the smoke pass- 
 ed away, and a round shot, darting the spray in our faces, 
 went ricochetting over the boat, and disappeared almost 
 half a mile astern. 
 
 The boats, which had been pulling in compact order, were 
 now directed to separate, so that there might be less chance 
 of any future shot taking effect. 
 
 We continued our advance ; two more guns were fired 
 at us, but as yet without effect. 
 
 " There's grape, by Jove !" said the first lieutenant, as 
 the sea near us was ploughed up into a sheet of boiling 
 foam. 
 
 " The cutter returns her fire," said the coxswain. 
 
 " And there's a jolly rattle from the barge ; we'll soon 
 be alongside. Hurra, my boys," shouted one of the crew. 
 
 The firing now became hotter ; gun after gun from the 
 junk was fired at us in quick succession, which we returned 
 as rapidly as we could. We were now close under her stern, 
 keeping up an incessant fire of musketry. 
 
 " Ready, men, to board," said the first lieutenant, as we 
 pushed alongside. "I'll open the ball; now lie close in." 
 
 " And I'll be your partner," shouted Hamilton, following 
 his chief, as he swung himself on deck. 
 
 We clambered up after them as rapidly as we could, and, 
 after a very short conflict, in which none of us were hurt, 
 the junk was our own ; but the expectations of those who 
 had calculated upon prize-money met with a sad disappoint- 
 ment upon searching her ; not an ounce of Sicee silver, 
 which had been calculated upon, was discovered. She was 
 a war-junk, armed from stem to stern. 
 
 There was nothing then to be done but to take possession 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 231 
 
 of her, which we did accordingly, and Captain Deadeye 
 requiring a pilot, we contrived, through the medium of an 
 interpreter, to make his wishes known to the Chinese crew. 
 But not one of them could be found to accept the invidious 
 office. 
 
 It was in vain that old Deadeye offered a reward of ten 
 dollars to any one of the captured crew who would steer us 
 safely into the harbor of Chapoo, which we were now ap- 
 proaching. 
 
 At length half-a-dozen or so were marshalled on the deck, 
 and, through the medium of an interpreter, were thus ad- 
 dressed by the captain : 
 
 " Will you pilot the vessel safely into the harbor ?" 
 
 A unanimous shake of the head was the only reply. 
 
 " Fetch a rope," said the captain, " and have the first fel- 
 low hanged immediately." 
 
 A cord was then fastened round the Chinaman's neck, 
 and the end passed over the yard-arm of the vessel. The 
 poor fellow perfectly understood the hint, and began to 
 evince considerable symptoms of trepidation. 
 
 " String him up at once," said the captain. 
 
 " I will do what you require," said the Chinese sailor, in 
 a piteous tone. 
 
 " Take him to the wheel ; keep the rope fast round him, 
 and the instant you think there is any reason to apprehend 
 he is leading us into danger, hang him," said Captain Dead- 
 eye. 
 
 The Chinese pilot, under the influence of this gentle spe- 
 cies of coercion, did his work to admiration. We rapidly 
 drew near the entrance of the harbor, and the tide being 
 favorable we were soon inside, and within reach of two 
 small forts which had been raised to protect the entrance. 
 Not a gun, however, was fired from either, and we passed 
 into full view of the towa In front of it were drawn up a 
 
232 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 large number of trading vessels of every description, moored 
 in parallel lines, and protected by a fort which commanded 
 the harbor as well as the town. 
 
 "Now we shall have prize-money, and lots of it too," 
 said the first lieutenant with a grin. 
 
 " I hope so," replied Staunton ; " but look at these fel- 
 lows, how they're mustering in the fort : we shall catch it 
 soon, I reckon." 
 
 The Ida now stood in straight for the shore, and took up 
 a flanking position as close to the fort as it was possible to 
 bring her. 
 
 " Give them a touch with the grape and round-shot," 
 said the captain. 
 
 The order thus given was promptly executed. Shot, 
 shell, and cannister were poured in in quick succession ; the 
 fire from the fort waxed feebler and feebler, until at length 
 all was silent : but, though vanquished, the fort was not sub- 
 dued ; a number of well-armed troops were seen rapidly de- 
 scending the adjacent hills, bringing with them heavy jingals 
 mounted on triangular stands, which soon opened a smart 
 fire upon us. 
 
 " They are firing musketry, by Jove ! there's one of our 
 men down," said Hamilton. 
 
 " Now, then, forward with the long gun : cram it well 
 with grape, and let us see how neatly you pitch it at that 
 column," said Deadeye. " 
 
 " Steady, my man, steady ! a little higher, now you are 
 about at it." 
 
 " Fire !" 
 
 The effect was tremendous : we could see the serried 
 ranks scattered like a whirl of autumn leaves. Another 
 shot or so settled the business, and they scampered off as if 
 the very devil was at their heels. 
 
 The boats were then ordered out, and possession was 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 233 
 
 taken of the fort by a party of marines : four guns, two of 
 brass and two of iron, were found and spiked. The sheds 
 ind buildings were set on fire, the magazine deluged with 
 nrater, and the entire place rendered harmless in regard of 
 iny further offensive or defensive operations. 
 
 The men were now piped to dinner. When they had 
 ilined, we took possession of the juriks in the harbor, many 
 of which were found to contain stores of considerable value. 
 The day's work was a hard one ; but, as it had turned out 
 so profitable, we were all perfectly satisfied with th'e result 
 of our labors, and the Chinese pilot grinned from ear to ear 
 with delight when, the noose being removed from his neck, 
 he was dismissed from his employment with ten clinking dol- 
 lars in his yellow hand. 
 
 It was during the operations which I have thus been en- 
 deavoring to describe that Morris came out in his true cha- 
 racter. He had always been accused of a tyrannical temper, 
 but until now it had never shown itself save in petty in- 
 stances. Now, the love of justice inherent in old Deadeye 
 was such that I do not believe he would have had a soul in 
 the ship wronged wilfully. But the difficulty was how to 
 satisfy him. And I believe the incident I am now about to 
 relate opened his eyes for the first time. It was the duty 
 of Ellis having been confined to the deck until two, which 
 was called the forenoon watch to superintend any of the 
 operations which might take place, such as launching of the 
 boats, &c., when the pinnace was required to take a party 
 of the marines ashore. Morris, having called the mate, said 
 to him, " Mr. Ellis, you will take these men on shore in the 
 pinnace, and return again immediately." 
 
 " Yery well, sir," replied the youngster, pushing off. 
 
 It so chanced that I was on deck. Having nothing bet- 
 ter to do, I was amusing myself by watching the men land- 
 ing. When they were all safe ashore, Ellis stood up and 
 
234 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 gave the order to return, when a sergeant of marines came 
 back to the boat for some of his accoutrements, which had 
 been forgotten in the hurry of the moment. Scarcely five 
 minutes elapsed for the whole transaction, and the boat re- 
 turned to the ship. 
 
 "I thought, sir, I had desired you to make no delay?" 
 said Morris, who had been watching the proceeding. 
 
 " No more I did, sir ;" and Ellis related the fact as it had 
 occurred. 
 
 "I don't care, sir, about the d d marine, my orders 
 should have been attended to." 
 
 " I only delayed a few moments, which were absolutely 
 necessary ; the exigencies of the service required it." 
 
 " D n the exigencies of the service I what right has a 
 youngster like you to think ? You'll stay on the deck for two 
 hours." 
 
 " But, sir, you can refer to " 
 
 " Hold your tongue, sir, or I'll report you to the captain ; 
 I'll teach you to obey orders." 
 
 Well, thought I, if this be not an ill-conditioned ruffian, 
 I never met one. My messmate had no more intention of 
 disobeying orders, or of acting save for the best, than he 
 had of flying. I therefore availed myself of the opportunity 
 of Morris turning his back to go up and express my opinion 
 of the whole transaction. 
 
 " He is a beast !" said Ellis ; " I always thought him so, 
 now I'm sure of it." 
 
 " Halloa," said I, " what a lot of fish are swimming about 
 here ; come down into the chains and have a look at them." 
 Now, if the chains are not a part and parcel of the deck I 
 know not what is ; but so it was : we had been there only 
 a few moments when the voice of Morris was heard ex- 
 claiming 
 
 " Where is Mr. Ellis?" 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 235 
 
 " Here I am, sir." 
 
 " How dare you leave the deck without my permission !" 
 
 " I did not mean to leave it, I assure you, sir. I thought 
 always the chains were a part of the deck." 
 
 " They are not, sir ; by G d, I'll teach you the differ- 
 ence !" 
 
 " I assure you, sir, I had no intention whatever of diso- 
 beying orders." 
 
 " Hold your mutinous tongue, you young rascal." 
 
 "I'm sure I'm " 
 
 " If you utter another word I'll report you to the cap- 
 tain." 
 
 " I wish to Heavens you would, sir ; he would not see 
 me so unjustly treated." 
 
 " I'll take you at your word ; I will report you, by the 
 Lord ! you'll catch it : in the meantime you shall remain 
 where you are until ten o'clock. I'll take the temper out 
 of you, you infernal young devil." 
 
 Now let us see what was the consequence ; simply this : 
 the poor fellow was obliged to remain, kicking his heels 
 about the deck until eight o'clock, when his turn of duty 
 came to keep the midnight watch. He was thus exposed 
 for nearly twelve hours without the chance of getting a 
 wink of sleep. But the persecutor did not escape. It 
 transpired before long that the whole transaction had 
 reached the ears of the captain, and I have every reason 
 to believe that Mr. Morris got a sharp rap over the knuckles 
 for his misconduct. 
 
 We now proceeded to beat up for our destination, but 
 the strength and rapidity of the currents among the Chusan 
 islands, together with the boisterous weather which soon set 
 in, rendered it a task of difficulty to keep time. We were 
 the first at the appointed rendezvous, however ; but the 
 Admiral did not arrive until many days afterwards. 
 
236 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 MORE FIGHTING. 
 
 I had the morning watch. We were standing in pretty 
 close to the shore. The air was pure and cool ; the bright 
 tints, peculiar to all tropical climates, being mellowed with 
 a subdued light, which imparted great beauty to the scene. 
 The thick mists which hung over the shore gave a great ap- 
 parent extent to the view. The sea looked a transparent 
 blue, while the sky above glowed with a rosy tinge, which 
 gradually increased to gold, as the sun came rolling up 
 above the horizon. 
 
 " What a lovely morning it is," I said to Hamilton, who 
 stood near me. 
 
 " Yes, only too fine for the work we have to do." 
 "Why, certainly, bloodshed and war are not pleasant 
 things ; but if they must be, the sooner they are over the 
 better. We must do something for our pay." 
 
 " Pay, indeed ! a nice sum, per diem, to run the chance 
 of being made food for the fishes." 
 
 " Well, then, glory is something," I replied, "and fame " 
 " D n glory and fame ; they are both humbugs !" 
 With this sentiment of my companion's, thus forcibly ex- 
 pressed, I was not at that moment disposed to quarrel. I 
 had not received any intelligence from England for a con- 
 siderable period, and I was beginning, not indeed to feel 
 home-sick, but to entertain some apprehensions that evil of 
 one kind or another might have befallen those whom I loved 
 best upon earth. 
 
 It was pretty well known throughout the fleet that our 
 expedition was to be made up one of the great rivers of the 
 country, known by the name of the Yang-tze, provided the 
 attack upon Chapoo, for which active preparations were 
 now being made, turned out successful. As yet our opera- 
 tions had been attended with signal success, and the glory 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 237 
 
 which has hitherto followed in the course of the British flag 
 had not for an instant deserted us. 
 
 At the distance of about fifty miles from the great city 
 whose capture had been determined upon, lies the town of 
 Ningpo. It is of considerable commercial importance, be- 
 ing famous throughout the world for the richness and vari- 
 ety of its silks. The town is a much finer one than Amoy, 
 or indeed than any other of the newly-opened ports upon 
 those seas. Junks of large size are built on the river, and 
 the inhabitants, in spite of the prohibition of their govern- 
 ment, have always evinced a strong desire to trade upon 
 peaceable terms with other nations. 
 
 It was at this place, towards the conclusion of the seven- 
 teenth century, that the Portuguese missionaries first com- 
 menced their operations in the East. Their influence, for a 
 long time, was unbounded, and high expectations were 
 entertained, as to the results of their labors, as soon as the 
 good seed which they had sown should have time to ripen to 
 maturity. But, alas ! missionaries, after all, are but men, and 
 the failings common to humanity seem to have been shared 
 in, to a great extent, by these teachers of Christianity. 
 They omitted no opportunity of aggrandizing themselves at 
 the expense of the unfortunate natives. Repeated instances 
 of this kind, followed up by cruelty, gradually weakened 
 their influence, and at length the Chinese government per- 
 emptorily forbade the further teaching of a religion, the 
 inculcation of which was attended by consequences so com- 
 pletely demoralizing. This important city, whose history I 
 have thus briefly sketched, was taken possession of by our 
 troops in the month of May, but it was found impossible to 
 retain possession of so great a place without having in it a 
 larger garrison than we could well afford ; a virtue was 
 therefore made of what, in point of fact, was an urgent ne- 
 
238 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OB, 
 
 cessitj. The magnates of the town were invited to attend in 
 solemn assembly, where they were addressed by the present 
 Lord Gough, then Sir Hugh. He informed them that 
 her gracious Majesty had been pleased to restore to them 
 their capital, which he hoped, in consideration of this act 
 of clemency, would be used for pacific purposes in future. 
 
 The Chinese mandarins looked in much astonishment 
 from one to the other, as if they found it difficult to account 
 for the reason of this extraordinary proceeding ; but when 
 the keys of the gates were handed over to the persons ap- 
 pointed to receive them, their joy knew no bounds. They 
 were lavish in expressions of gratitude. As to the origin of 
 the quarrel between the two nations, it is by no means 
 within the scope of my purpose to pause for its investiga- 
 tion. I can only, speaking as I do, from the constant op- 
 portunity of a personal investigation, confidently assert that 
 upon our side the contest was carried on with a magnani- 
 mity not unworthy of the British prowess. 
 
 " Huzza, my boys ! I have glorious news to tell you," 
 shouted Hamilton, waving his cap round his head, as he 
 rushed into the gun-room, where we were quietly supping 
 off the remnants of a somewhat frugal dinner. 
 
 " Bear a hand, and out with it," we exclaimed simultane- 
 ously. 
 
 "We are not to wait any longer for the rest of the 
 squadron. Old Deadeye is going to attack the town with- 
 out them. Hurrah ! no more of this coasting work ; I'm 
 sick to death of it." 
 
 " Wash the cobwebs out of your throat, old boy, and 
 tell us all about it. Here's a glass of three-finger grog for 
 you." 
 
 "Well, then, the first lieutenant has just told me, he 
 having had it direct from the skipper, that as the reinforce- 
 ments have not arrived, instead of waiting for these negoti- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 239 
 
 ators, diplomatizers, or any botheration of the sort, he has 
 made up his mind to sail slick into the harbor and knock 
 the town about their ears." 
 
 " Amen I" ejaculated Staunton, with a pious fervor which 
 was infinitely entertaining. 
 
 But old Deadeye was not to have all the fun to himself ; 
 and perhaps it was just as well for his ship's company. The 
 remainder of the squadron were shortly afterwards signalled 
 in the distance. We waited until they came up, and the 
 Cornwallis, Blonde, Columbine, and Plover, with troops on 
 board, soon joined us. We then bore up, sweeping to the 
 westward ; and about nightfall, just as the range of hills 
 about Chapoo rose towering above the sea, we cast anchor, 
 and waited patiently for the dawn. 
 
 When the sun rose, we found ourselves nearer to the 
 shore than we anticipated. The aspect of the country was 
 beautiful ; the fields seemed well cultivated with a variety 
 of crops, which were luxuriant. The view, too, was a splen- 
 did one. A high range of hills sloped down nearly to the 
 water's edge. In a nook of these, and close to a small 
 promontory which ran out to the westward, lay the town. 
 It appeared well-built and extensive, and afforded promise 
 of being the most important capture we had yet made. As 
 we stood in towards the shore, a fishing-boat which was 
 cruising about the bay was captured, and the crew brought 
 on board, whom we interrogated as to the defences of the 
 place we were about to attack. 
 
 "How many soldiers are there in the town ?" inquired 
 Deadeye. 
 
 The man bowed to the ground, performing the same spe- 
 cies of homage he would to a mandarin, but spoke not. 
 
 " Tell him Fll have him flogged, if he don't answer my 
 questions," said Deadeye to the interpreter. 
 
 " He won't understand what that means, I fear." 
 
240 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Well ! bastinadoed, then ; it comes pretty much to the 
 same thing, I believe," replied the captain. 
 
 The hint was accordingly conveyed, and the fisherman 
 muttered something which was quite unintelligible. 
 
 "I can't make him out, for the life of me," said the inter- 
 preter. 
 
 " Try another of them, then," said the captain. " Per- 
 haps they are all dumb ; they look as queer a set of fellows, 
 at any rate, as ever I clapped my eyes upon." 
 
 Another was then desired to stand forward, but a similar 
 question put to him met with a precisely similar result. 
 
 " You must treat him as^ you did the pilot that's the 
 only language they understand." 
 
 " I'll have you hanged, you ruffian, for daring to trifle 
 with the captain of a man-of-war." 
 
 The same ceremony was then gone through ; but when 
 he saw that preparations for stringing him up were all com- 
 pleted, the fisherman found a voice, and stated, in effect, 
 that the batteries were very strong, and that there was a 
 force of several thousand soldiers there for their defence. 
 
 " Ha !" said old Deadeye, working his empty sleeve, " we 
 shall have some warm work ;" and the veteran, as he spoke, 
 looked like one smelling the combat from afar. 
 
 As we approached nearer, the place looked exceedingly 
 formidable. Breastworks were thrown up along the heights ; 
 they seemed particularly strong in the slopes between the 
 hills. Upon the side nearest to the town there were two 
 batteries, mounting, as well as we could make out, about 
 seven guns each ; and upon a low hill, in front of the sub- 
 urbs, there was a circular one with fourteen guns. Further 
 on to the westward there was a masked battery, which 
 seemed not yet finished. 
 
 The usual soundings were duly taken along the whole 
 extent of the shore. Although we had run close in, not a 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 241 
 
 shot had as yet been fired upon us. We could distinctly 
 see, through our glasses, mandarins dispatching messengers 
 along the heights, which now swarmed with soldiers ; and 
 at length Deadeye ordered out a boat to ascertain if the 
 shore was practicable for landing troops. The boats having 
 in due time returned without an accident, and the report 
 being favorable, the ships of our squadron, at nightfall, took 
 up their positions directly in front of the principal batteries, 
 so as to cover the landing of the soldiers, which it was then 
 agreed upon should take place in the bay, which, as before 
 mentioned, lay a little to the eastward. 
 
 The morning was beautiful ; a lovelier one never dawned. 
 The sun rose in clear, unclouded majesty, upon many a man, 
 on either side, who was destined never to see him set. The 
 success we had hitherto had made us rather more confident 
 than perhaps we ought to have been, and we little antici- 
 pated a determined resistance. At an early hour the signals 
 were made for the action to commence, and we set to work 
 with a hearty good-will. The steamers stood well in, and 
 threw the troops on shore. Sir Hugh Gough landed with 
 the first column, and at once succeeded in carrying the prin- 
 cipal height. In the meantime we were blazing away, with- 
 out intermission. At this juncture a signal was made from 
 the Nemesis for every seaman and mariner who could be 
 spared from the respective ships, for the purpose of support- 
 ing the troops who were hotly engaged. 
 
 " Can we spare any of our men, Mr. Morris V said the 
 captain. 
 
 " Why, not many. I think a boat's crew or so might 
 go ; we've nearly silenced our batteries, and there's no 
 knowing we never can calculate upon these mandarins." 
 
 I asked and obtained permission to accompany the boat's 
 crew, which was placed under the command of Hamilton, as 
 I thought I should see more of what was going on than if I 
 
 11 
 
242 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 remained on board, where, in consequence of the smoke, little 
 could be observed. It seemed Amoy over again, without 
 variation. 
 
 Off we went ; and having succeeded in effecting a land- 
 ing, we joined the left column, which was led by Sir Hugh 
 Gough in person. 
 
 Our first object of attack was an intrenched fort, which 
 we never doubted to take by a flank movement, under cover 
 of the Sesostris, who was keeping up a pretty smart fire of 
 shells. 
 
 On we went ; and then, for the first time, I stood face to 
 face with the Chinese soldiers. We saluted them with a 
 volley, which they returned with a precision that knocked 
 over our leading files, and then we charged them with the 
 bayonet, the men from the Ida flourishing their cutlasses, 
 and shouting as if the devil was in them. 
 
 This was a species of attack the Chinese had no mind to 
 encounter. We had scarcely closed, when off they went, 
 pell-mell. The ground was broken and covered with bushes, 
 by its nature retarding any very effective pursuit ; we were 
 obliged therefore to separate. I kept with the seamen as 
 well as I could, but it was soon found very much every man 
 for himself. 
 
 We made right at a host of Chinese, who appeared deter- 
 mined to withstand our further progress, at the extremity 
 of a narrow defile, where they took up a commanding po- 
 sition. 
 
 As we passed a tomb which lay in our way, there was 
 one of their officers, apparently of rank, perfectly unmoved, 
 and looking on as if he were the unconcerned spectator of a 
 drama. 
 
 "Shall I cut him down ?" said Brown, one of our seamen, 
 flourishing his cutlass. 
 
 11 No, let him alone ; he looks as if he meant no one any- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 243 
 
 harm," replied Hamilton ; and so it turned out. The Chi- 
 nese, as we passed, instead of being grateful for his escape, 
 began deliberately to cut his throat with a knife. I paused 
 for an instant (curiosity getting the better of all my excite- 
 ment) to see if he were really in earnest. He was, and he 
 soon effected his purpose. " Well," thought I, "you are 
 certainly a curious fellow. It would have been very much 
 the same to yourself, had you let us knock you quietly on 
 the head ; you would then have died like a Christian and 
 a gentleman." 
 
 Having come up with my party, I found them engaged 
 in a hand-to-hand encounter with a party of the enemy, 
 who were commanded by a Chinese mandarin on horseback. 
 Hamilton made a dash at him ; the mandarin rode furiously 
 forward, making a lunge with his long sword at the assail- 
 ant. My messmate dexterously warded it off with his cut- 
 lass, and catching the horse by the bridle, the animal reared 
 up and threw his rider. The mandarin, however, was on 
 his feet in a moment. The combat which then ensued re- 
 minded me of one of those .described by old Homer. The 
 mandarin was as active as a cat. The weapon he wielded 
 was a formidable one, and he understood its use. The flash 
 and glitter of the ringing steel was almost dazzling. I 
 paused for a moment as each party watched the encounter. 
 It did not last long. A thrust in the shoulder roused my 
 companion's wrath. One sheer stroke from the English 
 cutlass, breaking through the Chinaman's guard, felled him 
 to the earth ; and when he was down, we despoiled him of 
 his peacock's feather and white button, both of which are 
 badges of high rank. 
 
 We now entered a deep gorge, in the centre of which 
 was a large building surrounded by a dead wall, inside of 
 which the fugitives had retreated, keeping up a smart fire 
 from the embrasures and the windows of the house. We 
 
244 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 summoned them to surrender, but the only reply was a rat- 
 tling volley, which sent several of our party to their ac- 
 count ; a temporary pause was the consequence. We had 
 not enough men to carry the place, we therefore waited 
 until we were rejoined by our companions. When they 
 came up, it was determined to pause until some of the guns 
 had arrived, as the place seemed strongly fortified. But 
 the excitement of the moment unfortunately prevailed over 
 the dictates of prudence ; Colonel Tornlinson swore he 
 would take the place, and, throwing himself at the head 
 of a party of the Forty-ninth, advanced to the attack. 
 But the gallant leader had scarcely gained the entrance, 
 when he was shot dead, in the very act of waving his sword 
 and cheering his men on to the attack. We rushed on to 
 avenge his loss ; the men were furious with excitement, but 
 a volley fired with deadly precision sent them staggering 
 back from the scene of conflict. It was at length found 
 prudent to sound a recall ; the place could not be taken by 
 storm. We waited until the arrival of two pieces of artil- 
 lery, which soon silenced the Chinese fire. When it had 
 ceased, we entered, and a scene of slaughter met my eyes 
 which I can never forget ; out of three hundred men, by 
 whom the place was defended, only fifty were found alive, 
 and nearly all of these were terribly wounded. The unfor- 
 tunate wretches were aggravating their deplorable condition 
 by attempting to commit suicide ; we found them deliber- 
 ately occupied in setting fire to their long cotton dresses, 
 with lighted matches, and many perished before we could 
 possibly prevent them. Inside one of the sheds was found 
 the body of a soldier of the Eighteenth Light Company, " 
 whom the savages had mutilated horribly. They had cut 
 off his ears and nose with his own razor, which they had 
 taken for the purpose out of his knapsack a singular proof 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 245 
 
 of cruelty, at a time when few of them could have antici- 
 pated an escape with their own lives. 
 
 With the destruction of this building, thus resolutely de- 
 fended, terminated all attempt at resistance. The batteries 
 had been silenced by the fire of the ships, and the city was 
 now in our hands. Every possible care was taken of the 
 wounded, but all our efforts were unavailing to prevent re- 
 peated attempts at self-destruction on the part of our prison- 
 ers. We found women destroying their children, and after- 
 wards putting an end to their own existence ; husbands 
 poisoning their wives, and cutting their own throats, with 
 every other species of barbarism which it is possible to 
 imagine. 
 
 The Chinese force engaged in the defence of this city has 
 been estimated at considerably above seven thousand men, 
 of whom nearly one-fourth were Tartars. The number of 
 killed and wounded must have been immense ; on our side 
 the loss was considerable, but it was for the most part con- 
 fined to those who were engaged in the land service, the 
 ship's crews had scarcely suffered at all ; and when we re- 
 turned on board we found old Deadeye pacing to and fro 
 on the quarter-deck in the highest possible spirits. His joy 
 was, however, somewhat damped upon hearing the casual- 
 ties which had occurred on shore, especially in the loss of 
 Colonel Tomlinson, who was an old and valued friend. It 
 had been determined upon that the remains of this distin- 
 guished officer should not be interred on shore, lest the Chi- 
 nese should avail themselves of our absence to dig them up, 
 and afterwards commit some of those horrible acts of mu- 
 tilation which one shudders to contemplate. Sir William 
 Parker having placed a steamer for the purpose at the dis- 
 posal of his friends, on the 20th of May the body was re- 
 moved on board of the Phlegethon, and taken out into deep 
 water. All our officers attended in full uniform, and the 
 
246 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 scene was one of such touching solemnity that it can never 
 be effaced from my recollection. It was a beautiful spring 
 morning ; a light breeze swept the surface of the water, as it 
 sparkled in the sunshine. As we arrived on board of the 
 Phlegethon the officers and men were drawn up in full uni- 
 form upon deck. The bell began to toll about eleven 
 o'clock. It has a strange sound upon the ear, that tolling 
 of the funeral bell at sea, bringing with it associations and 
 memories of scenes of our earlier days, and subduing the 
 sternest hearts with softened emotions. The body of the 
 departed veteran, sewn up in a hammock with shot attached 
 to the feet, was brought up and laid upon a grating, which 
 was covered with a union-jack. The officers stood behind 
 the captain, on the quarter-deck, while the crew, and such 
 of the soldiers as had been directed to attend, assembled on 
 the gangways and by the sides of the grating. The bell 
 then ceased tolling, and an impressive silence ensued, un- 
 broken save by the rippling of the waves against the ship's 
 sides, and the whistling of the breeze through her shrouds. 
 We all took off our hats, and the chaplain, in a clear and 
 solemn voice, began to read the burial service for the dead. 
 When he came to that portion beginning, " Forasmuch as 
 it hath pleased Almighty God," there was a slight pause, 
 while the men were engaged in getting the grating forward ; 
 at the words " we, therefore, commit his body to the deep," 
 the grating, colors and all, were launched forward, and fell 
 with a deep and heavy splash into the sea. The blue water 
 swept above the remains of the gallant dead, its enlarging 
 circles alone indicating the spot where he had fallen ; seem- 
 ing emblematic, I thought, as they widened and widened 
 into infinite space, of that eternity to which we had con- 
 signed him. It was a moment full of touching solemnity; a 
 deep stillness prevailed on board, broken only by the ripple 
 of the waves. I could see that the captain's eye was moist- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 241 
 
 ened by the expression of an unwonted feeling, and I 
 thought that there were few of the spectators who did not 
 share an honorable sympathy with the old commander. 
 
 When we had separated, and returned to our respective 
 ships, the conversation of the gun-room mainly turned upon 
 the events of the morning. 
 
 " Did you never see a man hove overboard before, young- 
 ster ?" inquired Staunton, with a want of feeling which, from 
 that time forth, by no means tended to elevate him in my 
 good opinion. 
 
 " No, I never saw a man buried at sea before. It seems 
 to me a much more inferior ceremony than any other de- 
 scription of funeral could be." 
 
 "Well," said Hamilton, "I would rather rest down 
 among the coral rocks, and the great old wrecks, at the 
 bottom of the sea, and have all kinds of quaint monsters of 
 the deep eyeing me cunningly as I lay in my hammock, than 
 have the snuggest monument in Westminster Abbey." 
 
 "Well, so would I." 
 
 " In a word," said Staunton, " you would rather be food 
 for the fishes than the worms. Well, perhaps you are nearly 
 about right ; I shall not argue the subject with you." 
 
 " I think a common seaman's burial is the best of all." 
 
 " How does it differ from that which we saw this morn- 
 ing?" 
 
 " Why not? surely there's not so great a fuss made about 
 it ; but only mind, it's more ship-shape and regular like." 
 
 " Give me some sort of notion, if you can, of what you 
 mean." 
 
 " Oh, if we are out here much longer, you may have an 
 opportunity of seeing it for yourself." 
 
 " But I should like to know don't they heave them over- 
 board just as they did our poor fellows who were killed in 
 action ?" 
 
248 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 "Why, yes, to be sure they do; but afterwards all hands 
 are piped to grog, and everything is as jolly as possible. 7 ' 
 
 "And, therefore, you like it better. Well, you are a 
 queer fish, that's all I can say on the matter." 
 
 " Then comes the sale of the defunct's effects, which are 
 put up to auction." 
 
 " Well, that's easily disposed of, I should think." 
 
 "The men are then mustered at divisions. The clerk 
 brings up the ship's books, and marks after his name the 
 letters D. D." 
 
 " What does that mean ?" I inquired. 
 
 "What a muff you are, to be sure discharged dead, of 
 course." 
 
 " You don't know what making a dead man chew more 
 tobacco means, I suppose, neither?' 
 
 " No ; tell me, by all means." 
 
 " Why, you see, pursers are generally the most infernal 
 villains on the face of the earth ; they are worse than hotel 
 waiters or schoolmasters ; and the first thing the purser 
 does, when his name is fairly disposed of, is to chalk up to 
 his account an extra pound of tobacco or so, out of which 
 he afterwards turns a little profit on his own account." 
 
 " Well, that surprises me, I must confess. Now that 
 you mention it, I do remember poor Tom Pipes saying " 
 
 " Yes, the villain did for poor Tom ; you may depend 
 upon it, if he left you his executor, you'll have a Flemish 
 account of his effects, that I can tell you," said Hamilton. 
 
 In conversation of this kind the evening passed away ; 
 and when the master-at-arms came with the usual order for 
 the removal of the lights, I was not sorry to be left alone, 
 and to have an opportunity of pondering in silence over all 
 that I had heard and seen that day. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 249 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 THE CRUISE OF THE IDA DRAWS TO A CLOSE. 
 
 As far as the war was concerned, it was looked upon as 
 decided by the important conquest I have described in the 
 last chapter. The tone of the government began consider- 
 ably to moderate ; we had stricken terror into the heart of 
 the nation, while the moderation with which we used our 
 power inspired them with a feeling of confidence such as 
 they had not previously entertained. After the action at 
 Chapoo, overtures of a pacific nature were made, which were 
 repeated with more earnestness as each subsequent success 
 of our arms showed the Chinese the utter futility of further 
 resistance. 
 
 Towards the commencement of June, the whole of the 
 fleet bore up for the entrance of the Yangtze river, with a 
 view to operations against the capital of Shanghai ; but our 
 progress was considerably retarded by the tides, which were 
 flowing against us with great velocity and strength. It 
 was during this passage that one of those disastrous events 
 occurred incident to a sailor's career, and against which no 
 skill is of any avail. 
 
 "A man overboard !" was the cry which, caught from 
 one of the crew to another, startled me as I was reading 
 one morning in the gun-room. I was instantly upon deck, 
 where I was soon informed of the cause of the accident. 
 It appeared that about two o'clock some hands had been 
 ordered to reef topsails ; the rigging was instantaneously 
 crowded by the seamen, each vieing with the other who 
 should be first. Meanwhile the weather topsails had been 
 rounded in, and when the canvas filled to the wind, 
 11* 
 
250 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Lower away the topsails !" sung out the first lieutenant 
 through a trumpet. 
 
 The order was executed almost as soon as it had been 
 given, and the braces having been belayed, again the word 
 of command was uttered : 
 
 " Trice up lay out ! 
 
 The men were soon all on the yards ; the reef tackles 
 were hauled out, and the order given to take in a single 
 reef. It was just at this crisis, when the men were out on 
 the yards, that a sudden gust of wind, filling the main-top- 
 sail, carried away the brace. The yard, relieved from re- 
 straint, flew fore and aft, and three men were flung over- 
 board, two of whom never appeared again ; they were 
 probably killed by the fall ; but the third, a lusty seaman, 
 was soon observed to reappear, battling manfully with the 
 waves. The ship had not much way on her at the time, 
 and the deck was instantly crowded with men anxious to 
 render all the assistance in their power to their messmate. 
 The cutters were unfortunately covered, in order to protect 
 them from the burning rays of the sun ; but the launch was 
 soon afloat. The men cheered lustily to the struggling 
 swimmer, whose efforts to keep himself afloat seemed now to 
 have nearly exhausted his strength. 
 
 " Give way, my lads, give way 1" thundered the captain. 
 
 The boat's crew plied their oars a few minutes, and they 
 were at the spot just as the head of their messmate dissap- 
 peared beneath the surface. 
 
 " He's gone, by G d !" said old Deadeye. 
 
 " Hurrah I no, he has him !" sung out the first lieutenant, 
 and the whole of the ship's company gave three hearty 
 cheers as the bowman, who had plunged neck and shoulders 
 into the water, was observed drawing himself up : he had 
 succeeded in getting the boat-hook into the clothes of the 
 drowning man, who was soon safe on board ; but so com- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 251 
 
 pletely exhausted was his condition that we were obliged to 
 call for the aid of the surgeon before he could be resuscitated. 
 
 " Well for you there were no sharks about," said Dead- 
 eye, when the man had recovered. 
 
 "Why, yes, your honor ; I should have been in kingdom 
 come by this time, as the ship's chaplain would say." 
 
 " You would have been in a shark's belly in the mean- 
 time," said the first lieutenant, who, as I have already inti- 
 mated, set up for being a wit in a small way. " You have 
 been saved, Bill Jones, from going to Davy Jones's locker," 
 he added ; "you shall therefore have a double allowance of 
 grog if the doctor thinks it good for you, and now you may 
 turn in and take a snooze if you like." 
 
 I shall not pause in my narrative to do more than briefly 
 glance at the subsequent events, which followed in such 
 quick succession, that the war was speedily brought to a 
 close, after the fall of Woosung, in which we took our usual 
 prominent part. Shanghai was the scene of our next hostile 
 operations. At the latter place the conflict was main- 
 tained, on the part of the enemy, with a determination 
 which, considering the heavy losses they had sustained in 
 the former actions, was truly wonderful. The Tartars, in 
 particular, fought with a desperate valor. They were in 
 general men of fine athletic frames, and masters in the use 
 of their weapons ; had they been only armed with the Brit- 
 ish bayonet, the result of the conflict would, in all proba- 
 bility, have been very different ; but undisciplined valor, 
 however chivalrous, can avail but little against trained sol- 
 diers. Many of the Tartars rushed furiously upon the bayo- 
 nets of their assailants. In some instances they even suc- 
 ceeded in penetrating the soldiers' guard, and, seizing them 
 by the body, would drag them over the walls. In sword 
 combats, or personal encounters of any kind, their prowess 
 was unrivalled; and many a British soldier bears on his 
 
252 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 person, to this day, memorable marks attesting the ardu- 
 ous nature of the encounter with these barbarian tribes. 
 The attempt to open negotiations, on the part of the Chi- 
 nese commissioners, had been repeatedly made, but, as we 
 thought they had not been able to show that they had full 
 authority from the Emperor to treat for peace, all overtures 
 were positively declined. At length, as our forces lay be- 
 fore Nankin, and very formidable preparations had been 
 made for the attack, only three days before it was to com- 
 mence, the Chinese commissioners signified that they had 
 full authority from the Emperor to treat for peace. The 
 attack was therefore delayed until a meeting could take 
 place, which was held at a temple on shore, in the southern 
 suburbs of the city. The Emperor's commission being pro- 
 duced, was examined by competent persons, and pronounced 
 to be satisfactory. A treaty, upon our part, was submitted 
 to them, and, after considerable delay and much diplomatic 
 acuteness, the Emperor's full assent was received, and the 
 signature of the document took place, with considerable 
 solemnity, on board of the Cornwallis the venerable com- 
 missioner, Elepo, attending on behalf of his Imperial Ma- 
 jesty, and a number of officers of high rank being at the 
 same time in waiting, to witness the signature of the British 
 plenipotentiary. The war was now over, and, in the month 
 of December, we took our departure, and soon afterwards 
 bid a final adieu to China. 
 
 One of my favorite modes of killing time, during the long 
 voyage which ensued, was by taking a book up to the top, 
 and spreading the top-gallant sail into a canvas couch. I 
 was occupied in this way one morning, when the captain of 
 the top shouted out with the voice of a Stentor : 
 " Deck ahoy ! a sail on the weather-quarter." 
 On hearing this, the officer of the watch ordered the sig- 
 nal midshipman to the masthead, to ascertain of what size 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 253 
 
 and nature the stranger was. With the aid of a telescope, 
 it was descried to be a squadron of five frigates, not Eng- 
 lish. 
 
 The news flew like wildfire throughout the ship, and I 
 hastened down to glean further intelligence. 
 
 " Mr. Staunton, 1 ' said the captain, " what do you take 
 those vessels to be 1" 
 
 " They look most like French, I should say." 
 
 "Why, so they do. But their rigging is scarcely trim 
 enough for Frenchmen." 
 
 " They may be Dutch or Portuguese." 
 
 " No, they are French hulls to a certainty. Who rigged 
 them is another matter." 
 
 After some further discussion, it was decided that the ship 
 should be cleared for action, in case the strange sails should 
 prove to be an enemy though what enemy, for we were 
 then at peace with all the world, with the exception of a 
 slave ship, old Deadeye expected to meet, was a question 
 none of us could solve. 
 
 The decks having been cleared accordingly, and the men 
 reported ready at their stations, old Deadeye took another 
 long look through his glass, and when he had finished his 
 inspection, his aspect looked more puzzled than ever. 
 
 " I can't, for the life of me, make them out," he said, 
 turning to Morris, who stood near. 
 
 " Fm d -d if I can either," was the reply. 
 
 " I wish you would give up that profane habit - of yours, 
 sir ; it's blasphemy, positive blasphemy ; by the Lord it is 1" 
 growled Deadeye. 
 
 It was now nearly nine o'clock, and grew so dark that 
 the vessels could scarcely be distinguished ; but enough 
 light remained to display the rugged faces of the Ida's men 
 as they thronged the quarter-deck. Deadeye stood on the 
 skylight gratings, slightly elevated above the rest. Around 
 
254 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 him were piled shot of every description, muskets, cutlasses, 
 pistols, and bayonets, with every other requisite for com- 
 mencement of the fray. He was in the highest possible 
 spirits, and evidently itching to get at some one, no matter 
 who it should be. Towards eight o'clock, a thick fog came 
 on, which shut out the enemy from all further observation. 
 There was neither moon nor stars, and but little wind. We 
 were gohig through the water at. the rate of about five 
 knots an hour. So far, all was well. Deadeye was still 
 peering through his night-glass, when, with a sudden oath, 
 he let it fall on the deck. 
 
 " A large press of sail close on the weather-beam !" he 
 said. 
 
 To advance further in our present course would have been 
 to show our stern to the enemy ; he therefore shortened 
 sail, and prepared to heave to. It was Hamilton's turn to 
 be on deck, and I, as usual, was close beside him. 
 
 " Main deck there !" shouted Captain Deadeye through 
 his trumpet. 
 
 " Sir ?" 
 
 " Take care that not a port is opened till I order. Every 
 one but the captains of the guns to lie down, and keep si- 
 lence." 
 
 Slowly the strange sails were seen looming through the 
 mist ; they were now close to us ; yet nothing more than a 
 huge towering mass of canvas could be seen, so thick 
 was the fog ; he concluded it was a foreign frigate, though 
 of what nation it would be hard to tell. 
 
 " Down with the main-deck ports, and stand by to fire. 
 Man the larboard fore and main braces. Port your helm, 
 and brace up !" 
 
 As the captain uttered these words, the ship's head was 
 laid nearer to the wind, so as to intercept the frigate as she 
 
FUN, FRIGATES. AND YACHTING. 255 
 
 advanced upon us. Another minute, and we should have 
 been in a desirable position to open the ball. 
 
 Deadeye was walking to and fro, with rapid strides, on 
 the quarter-deck, waiting for the proper time to pour in a 
 broadside, and his empty sleeve was working to and fro 
 with its accustomed alacrity when he had any business on 
 hand. 
 
 " Now, then, by G d ! (he forgot his horror of swear- 
 ing when any constraint was upon him,) ready on the main- 
 deck." 
 
 But before he could complete the order, or the men obey 
 it, a voice exclaimed from the approaching enemy, in good 
 round English 
 
 " Ship ahoy, there !" 
 
 A mingled exclamation of surprise ran through our crew 
 at the sound ; in another instant our broadside would have 
 been at them. 
 
 " What ship is that ?" sung out Deadeye. 
 
 ** His Majesty's ship Pluto, Captain Clewline." 
 
 " His Majesty's ship Ida, Captain Deadeye." 
 
 " My compliments to Captain Deadeye, and I shall be 
 glad to see him on board," said the Pluto. 
 
 But Captain Deadeye was in no humor for paying visits 
 that evening ; he was too much disappointed at being 
 baulked of his amusement, so he trundled down stairs in the 
 worst of all possible tempers, saying, as he did so, " Let 
 the first lieutenant go, and Mr. Staunton get my cabin 
 bulk-heads up again ; secure the guns ; give me my supper, 
 and pipe to grog." This was the last incident of any note 
 which occurred during our cruise. 
 
 OLD ENGLAND. 
 
 I must pass over the greater portion of our homeward 
 voyage, the monotony of which was unbroken by any inci- 
 
256 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 dent worth recalling. The fresh breezes carried us bravely 
 along over the laughing blue waves ; the foam flew from 
 our bows, and the sails strained like impatient couriers as 
 the good ship Ida proceeded on her way. Early one fine 
 morning, as I was pacing the decks during the morning 
 watch, I was accosted by Hamilton, who, taking me to 
 leeward, asked me if I recognised the low blue line of coast 
 which was rising in the distance. 
 
 " It's not possible, cannot be England ?" I exclaimed, as 
 the tears started to my eyes. 
 
 " Yes, indeed, it is ; no mistake whatever about it." 
 
 We sped rapidly along under the influence of a favorable 
 breeze ; the long line of blue coast now became more dis- 
 tinctly visible, and at length we saw the Isle of Wight 
 looming through the sultry haze of a summer's morning : 
 we could clearly distinguish the white cottages scattered 
 over the pretty wooded coast. We soon saw Portsmouth 
 once ' more rising above the water's edge ; and towards 
 evening we cast anchor beside the battery. My last night 
 on board was a jovial one ; but I cannot stay to describe 
 it, nor can I pause to linger over the parting with my old 
 messmates. When it becomes necessary to leave those to 
 whom I am attached, or with whom I have been long asso- 
 ciated, the farewell to me is always trying. Hamilton 
 affectionately embraced me ; the rest of the officers shook 
 me cordially by the hand ; old Deadeye gave me a parting 
 gripe, prophesied that I should one day become a sailor, 
 and once more my feet were on terra firma. I rested that 
 night at the small inn at Ashton, and on the following 
 morning proceeded to Plymouth, where I arrived in due 
 time for the mail which was to convey me to Redburn 
 Hall. 
 
 As I proceeded rapidly along the well-remembered road, 
 my thoughts reverted to the day upon which I had travelled 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 25t 
 
 upon it last. How feelingly did each incident of that melan. 
 choly journey arise to my recollection ! How my heart 
 yearned to see the beloved inmates of the dear old Hall 
 once more ! Towards evening, as we drew near Silverthorne, 
 I heard the distant sounds of a carriage which was fast 
 overtaking us. Turning round I recognized at a glance my 
 uncle's livery. My heart beat so rapidly that I almost lost 
 my breath. I could see, as the vehicle whirled by, an 
 elderly man of stately presence, and beside him a young 
 lady. It was without doubt my uncle and my cousin. 
 The cloud of dust which followed in the train of their 
 equipage had nearly subsided when the carriage seemed 
 to stop. We were following so rapidly that we soon came 
 up to the spot, and I then saw that an accident of some 
 sort had happened : one of the horses was down, my uncle 
 had jumped out, and was in the act of assisting the postil- 
 ion as we drove up. I called to the coachman to stop, 
 and, getting down from the box-seat, hastened to render 
 any assistance which was in my power. I was anxious to 
 avail myself of so favorable an opportunity to see if I should 
 be recognised. The hors.e which had fallen was plunging 
 and kicking violently among the traces. I cut them with 
 a clasp knife I had in my pocket, and secured the horse's 
 head. I could see at a glance that I was unknown to 
 either of my relatives. It was growing dark, and I drew 
 my hat over my eyes as I asked if I ^could render any fur- 
 ther assistance. 
 
 " Not any, thank you ; we shall do very well now ; we 
 will replace the fallen horse by one of the leaders, and get 
 on all in good time." 
 
 " You are a sailor, I see," said my cousin, bending forward 
 from the carriage, as they were engaged about the horses. 
 
 " Yis, marm," said I, in a gruff voice, touching my hat. 
 
 " Where have you served ?" 
 
258 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " In the Chinese war." 
 
 " Good Heavens 1" replied Lucy, with a $udden start ; 
 " are the ships returned ? We have had no intelligence 
 about them as yet." 
 
 "Just come into port, ma'am," I replied. 
 
 " What was the name of your ship?" 
 
 But before I could reply, my uncle had resumed his seat, 
 and ordered the postilion to drive on ; not, however, before 
 my cousin in a whisper had requested me to call at Silver- 
 thorne, which she said was quite close at hand, a fact I 
 knew quite as well as she did. 
 
 The coach in the meantime having rolled away, I was 
 left to pursue my way on foot, and in about half an hour's 
 time I drew near the gate of the well-known park. It was 
 open, and I passed on, reaching the door of the Hall with- 
 out meeting any one by whom I could be recognised. I 
 rang the bell, having previously muffled up my face as well 
 as I could. The door was opened by a strange servant. 
 
 " I suppose you are the young man Miss Herbert is ex- 
 pecting ?" the man said ; and upon my answering in the 
 affirmative, he added 
 
 " Will you walk this way, and Fll fetch you to the house- 
 keeper's room." 
 
 I walked after him, and was forthwith transferred to the 
 care of my cousin's maid, who informed me that her mis- 
 tress was waiting for me in the library, and that I must 
 take care and wipe riSy feet before going in. 
 
 Thus warned, I was duly ushered into the old library, 
 where I found my cousin seated by a table with a book in 
 her hand, and occupied in gazing pensively into the fire. 
 Her beauty exceeded all my expectations. 
 
 "I wished to see you," she said in a soft low voice, "that 
 I might hear the latest news from China. When did you 
 arrive ?" 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 259 
 
 " Only yesterday, madam," I replied. 
 
 " What ship did you serve in?" 
 
 " The Ida," I replied. 
 
 " Gracious Heavens ! then he must be come," she ex- 
 claimed, as a sudden flush mantled her neck and brow. 
 
 " The Ida ! did you know an officer called Charles Her- 
 bert ?" 
 
 " Yes, madam ; very well." 
 
 " Do you know if he is safe and well ?" 
 
 I had the cold-blooded cruelty to answer with great com- 
 posure, that I believed he was very ill, and confined to his 
 berth with fever ; but I was soon punished for my wicked- 
 ness by seeing the sudden pallor that overcame the lovely 
 countenance before me. 
 
 "Not dangerously ill, not dangerously, I trust?" my 
 cousin said in a tremulous tone. 
 
 " Why no, madam ; I don't believe he is so very bad, 
 neither." 
 
 There was something in the tone of the last sentence I 
 uttered which caused jny cousin to turn round. She had 
 been sitting in an oblique direction, and I was keeping as 
 much behind her as possible to escape observation. She 
 gave me a penetrating look as she said in reply 
 
 "Who are you?" 
 
 " Take a good look, and you will see," I replied, tearing 
 away the covering which had concealed the lower part of 
 my face. 
 
 In a moment we were in each other's arms, and our lips 
 met in a long and ardent kiss. "But I must tell the 
 others," she said, springing to the door of the dining-room, 
 which I knew communicated with the library. 
 
 " Papa ! Uncle Herbert is come ! he is safe ! he is 
 here 1" she said. 
 
 " Come ? who ? what, my love, have you lost your senses ?" 
 
260 SWELL LIFE AT SEA, ETC. 
 
 replied the measured accents of each known voice, and in 
 another instant I was locked in my father's arms. He had 
 been over to dine that day at Silverthorne, and the sudden 
 surprise almost startled him out of his wonted equanimity. 
 
 " Good Heavens ! who could have dreamt it ?" he said, 
 taking off his spectacles, and pausing to have a longer look 
 at me. " How the boy is altered. How like his mother he 
 is. She'll hardly know you, Charley. You have grown as 
 brown as a berry, and your hair is a shade or two darker. 
 Why, God bless me, my boy, but this is indeed an unex- 
 pected pleasure." 
 
 " Let me have a turn at him now," said my uncle ; " but 
 had you not better all come into the dining-room ? there is a 
 better light there, and we'll get up the dinner in a moment." 
 
 Once more I found myself seated at my uncle's table. 
 Many and particular were the inquiries made as to my ad- 
 ventures, and that evening, I believe, I talked more than I 
 had done during the whole time I was away. Nothing 
 could satisfy my cousin's longing to hear every circumstance 
 connected with the war and my experiences of seafaring life, 
 and at any allusion I made to the dangers we had run 
 which I had the good fortune to escape I saw a shudder 
 creep over her frame, or a tear start to her eyes. We did not 
 separate until it was long after midnight, and my father had 
 finished another bottle of the favorite port with the yellow 
 seal. When I turned in, I dreamt I was once more back in 
 the old ship ; and I wakened, I remember, wondering how 
 the deuce I had got stowed away in so comfortable a berth. 
 
 I have now arrived at the last page of my log. It only 
 remains for me to say that, within a year from the day of 
 my arrival, I had received my commission as a lieutenant ; 
 but I have never been afloat since, for, shortly afterwards, 
 I married my beautiful cousin, and once more the hearth of 
 the old Hall burns with its wonted splendor. 
 
HOMEWARD BOUND. 
 
 SIT ye down here, my lads," said Bill Sykes, the mate 
 of the Juno, as he turned a quid of tobacco in his 
 mouth, and hitched up his trousers. " Sit ye down here, 
 while I twist you this 'ere yarn. 
 
 " We may be a-going into action, or we may not ; that 
 no mortal can tell not even the skipper himself and we 
 may be licked, although that is far from likely ; but one 
 thing is certain whenever sailors give up 'baccy and three- 
 finger grog, and sing no more songs, we lose our superiority. 
 We'll be swept off the face of the sea as clean as the deck at 
 seven bells, that we shall, or my name aint Sykes ;" and hav- 
 ing uttered this oracular preamble, the veteran tar refreshed 
 himself with some new tobacco, smote his thigh with one 
 brawny hand, by way of adding emphasis to his assertion, 
 and looked to his auditors as if awaiting a reply. 
 
 " But where's the yarn you promised, Bill that aint it, 
 surely ?" said one of them. 
 
 "By no manner of means. I was a comin' to it, pre- 
 sently. It is many a year ago now, since I sailed in the 
 Semiramis on the East India station. She was French 
 built, but had been captured in the war, and did duty as an 
 English frigate and a stunner she was, let me tell you. 
 Well, there was in the enemy's squadron, a vessel as was 
 well known. She was called the Yictorieuse, or some such 
 name. She measured fourteen hundred tons, and mounted 
 fifty-two guns, or there-away. She was always at some 
 
262 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 devilment or another, here, there, and everywhere she was 
 not wanted. Her captain was as big a devil as his ship. I 
 forget his name now nor is it of any great matter, as re- 
 gards the story. 
 
 " This here vessel, you see, my lads, was big enough to 
 have stowed the poor Semiramis away ; and when one of 
 the officers of the Yictorieuse, chancing to come on board, 
 heard we were going out to the Eastern station, he whistled, 
 and said something which the first lieutenant, who under- 
 stood his lingo, said was very like he could eat us without 
 salt, or some chaff of the kind. Well, my lads, to sea we 
 went, when the time came, and we sailed for the Madras 
 roads, where we expected to find this wonderful Frenchman. 
 She had played the devil among the Indiamen, and gener- 
 ally, every Saturday night, we would get together and sing 
 the youngsters a song, and tell them what sort of work was 
 before them. When we got alongside this skyscraping son 
 of a wretch, the Yictorieuse, which we were a-looking after, 
 then the boys would gather round about, and every mother's 
 son of them would cock up their ears like the mate of the 
 deck when grog-ahoy is the word. There is no doubt about 
 it, that these yarns, when they're not over long, keep up the 
 pluck of the service, and no mistake about it. As I was 
 saying, the night was dark, and the wind was rising ; we 
 were on the larboard tack, standing under easy courses, 
 close hauled, looking a little to the south-west, when the 
 look-out reported some flashes, which, although they were 
 not unlike lightning, looked more like guns, I can tell you. 
 The fact being duly reported to our skipper, it was then 
 about nine o'clock, he says to the first lieutenant, 'Mr. 
 Clewline/ says he, ' I think it would be quite as well if we 
 were to put on a little more sail, and bear down in the di- 
 rection of those queer looking lights, just for the fun of the 
 thing, to find out what they are, if we can.' 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 263 
 
 " ' The lightning has come to an anchor. I don't see no 
 more of it now/ said the signal-man from his station. 
 
 " ' No matter ; tear away in the direction it came from ; 
 put out every light ; beat to quarters, and let everything be 
 ready for action/ said the skipper, as he turned down the 
 cabin stairs. 
 
 " We made as much sail as we could, passed round on 
 the starboard tack with top-gallant sails flying, and went 
 right smack for the spot where the lights had last been 
 seen ; and sure enough, we saw, looming large through the 
 fog, a tremendous French man-of-war. 
 
 " ' That's him, by jingo !' said the captain, who had re- 
 turned to the main-deck, where he stood with the night- 
 glass in his hand. 
 
 " ' I'm d d if there isn't another two three of them/ 
 said the first lieutenant. ' Don't you see them bearing up 
 to the leeward ?' 
 
 "' Nothing of the kind it's only the fog/ replied the 
 skipper. 
 
 " ' Three sails to the leeward/ sang out the signal-man. 
 
 " ' By the powers of war, what you say is true ! We're 
 in for it now P said the skipper. 
 
 " And in for it we were. To run away, if we had been 
 disposed for such an amusement, was out of the question. 
 It was too late for any such evolution. The three vessels, 
 as they drew nearer, were evidently on the same tack as we 
 were ; and so, about midnight, when we ought to have been 
 turning in, all hands stood at quarters many a man of them 
 never to turn in no more but this talking is dry work. 
 Hand me the can of grog before I go any further. When 
 I have wet my whistle you shall have the end of my yarn. 
 
 " If a single man on board the Semiramis had been dis- 
 posed to show the white feather, then was the time for doing 
 it," continued the old tar, wiping his mouth with the back 
 
264 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 of his hand, and biting off the end of a fresh quid. " Then 
 was the time, I say ; for the moon came out splendid, as if 
 to show us whereabouts we were. Three spanking French 
 men-of-war were close athwart our beam ; the biggest of 
 them, the far-famed Yictorieuse, within a couple of musket 
 shots off." 
 
 " 'Now, my men, are you all ready said the skipper. 
 1 Not a shot until I give the word.' 
 
 " ' Ay, ay, sir/ said the captain of the nearest gun. 
 
 " '* Man the fore-tops. Look sharp, then up with the 
 helm. 7 
 
 "The requisite manoeuvre having been performed, we 
 passed "lose under the enemy's stern, so near that we barely 
 cleared her, and as we passed, the whole of our broadside 
 went slap into her. We then came short ronnd on the lar- 
 board tack, and gave them another stunner of grape. It was 
 now nearly one o'clock. The moon was shining beautifully, 
 and we went at it fairly, broadside to broadside, blazing 
 away, as hard as we could, until the guns became too hot to 
 load. The Yictorieuse had evidently found she had caught 
 a Tartar ; her fire began to slacken, and one of her masts 
 went by the board. The sea was now nearly calm. We 
 were close alongside, and the skipper, putting his speaking- 
 trumpet to his lips, summoned them to surrender. 
 
 " There was no answer, all was silent as the grave. 
 
 " ' Why don't you speak, and be d d to you ?' sung out 
 the skipper again. 
 
 " There was still no reply. 
 
 " ' Give them another broadside, my lads, and see if that 
 will find them any voice.' 
 
 " At it we went again, but they never returned a single 
 shot. 
 
 " ' Avast firing, and silence on the main-deck,' and again 
 the skipper tried the speaking trumpet without the least 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 265 
 
 effect. We could hear the men jabbering and chattering 
 like a parcel of monkeys caught in a cocoa-nut tree ; but 
 there was neither voice nor sound, until, all of a sudden, 
 there was a rush aloft to set any sails that remained unhurt 
 by our shot. 
 
 " ' Loose top-sails, run the foreclew garnets, give them 
 another broadside,' shouted the skipper, who had no inten- 
 tion in the world of letting such a prize out of his clutches. 
 
 " There was evidently great confusion on board of the 
 Frenchman, while but few of our men had been hurt. We 
 were quite steady, and had our sails out before the enemy 
 could hoist a square yard of canvas. 
 
 " ' Cast out the grappling irons -and ready with the 
 boarders forward !' sung out the skipper. 
 
 " A few minutes more, and the vessels were in contact ; 
 the irons did their work, and fifty picked men, with the first 
 lieutenant at their head,, were thrown upon the Frenchman's 
 deck. Ten minutes' stiff work did the business ; three hearty 
 cheers, and down went the tri-colored flag the renowned 
 Yictorieuse was our prize. When morning broke, there 
 were the dead and wounded lying about their decks. I 
 won't for many a long day forget the sight. Some were 
 moaning and crying for water, while many of their ship- 
 mates were found down below, stowing away all the money 
 they could find in their pockets, and clapping two suits of 
 rigging over their mast-heads. Yictorieuse had lost two of 
 his lower masts, the bowsprit was lopped clean off, and sel- 
 dom, since the time when Admiral Noah went to sea in his 
 ark, was there ever a ship afloat more like his own. On 
 the topsails of the Frenchman, you might have counted 
 hundreds of musket balls, for a detachment of an Irish regi- 
 ment we had on board, had blazed away pretty cleverly, let 
 me tell you. And now, my lads," continued the old tar, " my 
 yarn is ended, I hope you will lay the story to heart ; be- 
 
 J2 
 
266 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 fore this time to-morrow we may be in action ourselves, and 
 if you only work the enemy as well as we did the old Yic- 
 torieuse, there will be no end of prize-money." 
 
 " But what of the two other vessels that were bearing 
 down upon you, Bill ?" inquired a brother seaman who 
 stood by, a not inattentive auditor. 
 
 " I'll tell you the rest another time ; have you not had 
 enough ? Now I shall turn in," replied the old seaman, 
 parrying the question, and moving off to his hammock. 
 
 " Fll tell you what it is, messmates," said the questioner, 
 "if I believe one word of all that gammon, may I be a 
 soured gurnet." 
 
 While this emanation was going on, during one of the 
 night watches, the Juno was standing, with all sails set, in 
 pursuit of two strange sails which had been signalled to- 
 wards night-fall, bearing to the south-east. It was of 
 course impossible to ascertain what progress had been made, 
 until the approach of daylight, but nothing could exceed 
 the anxiety both of officers and men to come to close quar- 
 ters with the enemy, if enemies indeed they were. The 
 watches were thus keeping themselves alive by spinning 
 such yarns as the above, and were waiting with anxiety the 
 approach of day. In the meantime, a scene somewhat simi- 
 lar was being enacted in the gun-room, where the younger 
 portion of the officers were whiling away the tedious hours 
 that must intervene before the appearance of daylight, by 
 a narration of their own adventures. The scene was a cu- 
 rious one, and it would require the pen of a Marryat to do 
 it any adequate justice. A small lamp suspended from the 
 ceiling served to make the darkness visible, and threw out 
 into strong relief the figures of the occupants of the apart- 
 ment. These consisted of about half-a-dozen young officers, 
 who were sitting in every imaginable species of dishabille at 
 an oblong table, which was covered with the scattered frag- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 261 
 
 ments of a frugal meal ; a huge bottle of rum, flanked by 
 two decanters of water, stood in the middle of the board, 
 but the consumption of the purer fluid bore apparently but 
 a small proportion to that of the stimulating beverage, with 
 which it was slightly diluted. They were all talking at the 
 top of their voices, and now and then a song would burst 
 forth from some uproarious youngster, less remarkable for 
 the musical intonation of its cadence, than for the vigorous 
 melody with which it was given forth. 
 
 " Avast your squeaking there, we have had enough of 
 it 1" said Walter Long, striking the table with his fist, un- 
 til the glasses rang again. 
 
 " You have no ear for music, Walter ! you never had 
 from the time of your infancy in short, you are little better 
 than a savage." 
 
 " I hope to be one to-morrow if we get into action," was 
 the professional reply. 
 
 " I shouldn't be surprised, if after the first shots are fired, 
 you are found skulking in the after cabin." 
 
 " Shouldn't you, my boy ? I should." 
 
 " Well, then, if you object to singing, what shall we do 
 to pass away the time ? sleeping is out of the question." 
 
 "Tell us a story, no matter whether it is true or not, that 
 is of no importance," said Walter Long. 
 
 " Let me see I think I have something that will just 
 suit you ; it has, however, the disadvantage of being founded 
 on fact, being the authentic account of how my old mess- 
 mate, Tom Feather Yane, became acquainted with the 
 Griffiths, into which family he afterwards married." 
 
 " Let us hear it by all means," said Walter Long. 
 
 " The introduction of Tom Feather Yane to the paternal 
 mansion of Laura Griffiths, runs somewhat whimsical, and 
 is not unworthy of recording, as forming a remarkable ex- 
 ception to the usual ' modus operand]/ by means of which 
 
268 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OB, 
 
 young gentlemen contrive to get their legs under respecta- 
 ble mahogany. The hall-door of Mr. Griffiths' abode was 
 of a gay pea-green color, and the knocker of brass, bur- 
 nished so brightly that to touch it was suggestive of burned 
 fingers. This ornament had attracted the notice of the er- 
 ratic Tom. He accordingly seized an early opportunity of 
 wrenching it off and conveying it home in his pocket, where 
 it formed a splendid addition to a collection of articles of a 
 similar kind he had for some time been engaged in forming. 
 But as Tom passed through this street the next day, he saw 
 the absent knocker replaced by one if possible of a still more 
 brilliant appearance. He made up his mind at once, that it 
 too should follow its predecessor ; and as night-fall came 
 on, he returned to the spot for the felonious object he had 
 in view. But as he was engaged in the very act, by some 
 unlucky coincidence, the door was opened by Mr. Griffiths, 
 who, as he emerged from his dwelling to inhale the fresh- 
 ness of the evening air, caught Tom, who had just succeeded 
 in his attempt, with the knocker in his hand. An exclama- 
 tion of astonishment, followed by an oath and a blow so 
 well planted, that Tom rolled down the area steps, was the 
 immediate result of the discovery. Rolling from the area, 
 the culprit tumbled into the kitchen window, which chanced 
 to be open, greatly to the astonishment of Mrs. Nipper, 
 the cook, who was sitting tete-d-tete over a quiet dish of tea 
 with Tom Jones, her follower. The gentleman's arm was 
 round the lady's waist at the very moment when the in- 
 truder, holding the new brass knocker tightly grasped in 
 his hand, made his unwelcome entree. 
 
 " ' Lor', good gracious me fire ! robbery ! murder 1' 
 screamed Mrs. Nipper, at the top of her voice. 
 
 " Thunder and turf !" shouted her companion, who was 
 a native of the Emerald Isle. 
 
 " But the astonishment of the lovers was as nothing to the 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 269 
 
 amazement of Tom Feather Yane. He had only recovered 
 the use of his scattered faculties, when the voice of Mr. 
 Griffiths was heard in the passage, and his heavy step 
 sounded on the stairs. 
 
 " ' You infernal young villain ! The second knocker in 
 two days ! Punch his head with the kitchen poker, until I 
 come, Mrs. Nipper, if you please, and then call the watch. 7 
 That functionary might have been called, but I question 
 if the summons would have been attended with any benefi- 
 cial result, as he was fast asleep in his watch-box round the 
 corner. 
 
 " When Mrs. Nipper had in some degree recovered from 
 her amazement, her thoughts ran less upon the detention 
 of the robber than the concealment of the ' follower/ who 
 was a contraband article in that establishment. ' Run I' 
 she said, ' run ! Master will be here like winking ! Cut 
 out of the back door there's time yet 1' 
 
 " But the gentleman thus affectionately appealed to was 
 deaf to the voice of his charmer ; he had probably indulged 
 in a larger potation of beer, before he dropped in to tea, 
 than usual ; he stood stock still, staring attentively at Mr. 
 Feather Yane, with the knocker in his hand, and at his 
 mistress. The few minutes, therefore, that were left to him 
 for escape were thus irrevocably lost. Presence of mind, 
 however, was not one of those qualities in which Tom 
 Feather Yane was ever found deficient. He saw, at a 
 glance, the precise posture of affairs, and that no time was 
 to be lost. He sprang from the recumbent posture he had 
 hitherto maintained, and hustling up to the bewildered Mr. 
 Jones, thrust into his pocket the spoil of which he had 
 become possessed, and passed at a bound out through the 
 area window, at the very moment of Mr. Griffiths' entrance 
 into the kitchen. ' You infernal robber ! Have you stunned 
 him with the poker, Mrs. Nipper ?' shouted the angry house- 
 
270 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 holder. l You villain ! I'll have yon transported for this, if 
 there's law to be found in Southsea. Where is my new 
 brass knocker ? Give it up this instant. 7 
 
 " ' Knocker, your honor !' responded Jones. ' Bedad, sir, 
 nothing to do with it ; I came to have a word with the 
 cook. 7 
 
 " 'You brazen impostor, I caught you at the door. I'll 
 be bound you have it somewhere secreted about you. Give 
 up the knocker this moment, or I'll knock you to eternal 
 smash. 7 
 
 " ' Hands off, old gentleman ; I'll stand none of that non- 
 sense. I haven't your knocker, as I knows of keep your 
 distance ! 7 
 
 " But the blood of Mr. Griffiths was now going at fever 
 heat. He squared up in pugilistic guise at the intruder, 
 who squared at him in return. A blow or two was inter- 
 changed, and in the midst of this skirmish the knocker drop- 
 ped out of Mr. Jones's pocket upon the floor. 
 
 " ' I told you you had it ; surrender to the law I 7 shouted 
 Mr. Griffiths, springing vigorously on, and seizing his an- 
 tagonist by the collar. 
 
 " 'Be aisy now, be aisy, and I'll akimpany you, since you 
 will have it so ; but, be Jabers ! I could knock ye to pieces 
 if I plaised ' 
 
 " ' Come on, you villain, none of your bad language. Push 
 him behind, Mrs. Nipper ! push him behind, will you, and 
 pick up the knocker there it is, on the floor.' But Mrs. 
 Nipper seemed as one deprived alike of the power of speech 
 and motion. Her faculties had become paralyzed. She 
 stood with one hand pointing through the open window by 
 which the audacious intruder had effected his escape, and 
 with a dish-cloth in the other, in lieu, it is presumed, of a 
 pocket-handkerchief. She tried to speak, but could not 
 articulate a word. Meanwhile, old Griffiths swore, and 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 271 
 
 pulled, and shook his prisoner to and fro without however 
 being able to prevail upon him to ascend a single step of 
 the stairs. 
 
 " Such was the crisis of affairs, when a violent ringing 
 was heard at the street door. ' Thank Heaven, there is the 
 watch !' said the old gentleman, wiping off the perspiration 
 which streamed profusely down his forehead. 
 
 "'Help ! help 1 watch ! watch ! come along, you ruffian. 
 I'll teach you to steal knockers, that I will/ shouted Mr. 
 Griffiths, tugging energetically at his captive. Again a 
 precious peal sounded at the area bell. 
 
 " l Why the devil, Mrs. Nipper, don't you go and open 
 the door ? what the deuce do you stand staring there for ? 
 Is the woman a fool ?' 
 
 " Thus objurgated, away went Mrs. Nipper. She sprang 
 up the stairs, and flinging open the door, saw Tom Feather 
 Yane, who, making a polite bow, inquired if her master was 
 at home. 
 
 " * Yes, sir, he is but no ! I rather think he is particu- 
 larly engaged at present. 7 
 
 " 'Give him my card, if you please, and say I wish to 
 speak with him for a moment.' 
 
 " ' Halloa ! come here, whoever you are, come here 1' 
 shouted Mr. Griffiths from the foot of the stairs. 
 
 " In obedience to this summons, Tom walked into the 
 passage ; but no sooner had the light of the lamp fallen upon 
 his features, than Mrs. Nipper recognised the gentleman 
 who had interrupted her tete-d-tete in the kitchen a short 
 time ago. 
 
 " ' Fire ! robbery ! murder ! murder !' shouted Mrs. Nip- 
 per, accentuating the last syllable to give it greater force. 
 
 " ' Thieves ! halloo! let me at 'em I where are they?' 
 shouted Tom. 
 
 " ' Here ! this way ! I have you now, you villain !' sung 
 
272 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OB, 
 
 out old Mr. Griffiths. Tom Feather Yane proceeded ac- 
 cordingly, without taking any further notice of Mrs. Nipper, 
 in the direction of the voice. 
 
 " ' Happy to see you, sir ; help me to hold this ruffian. 
 I'm quite blown ' 
 
 " l Hold him with pleasure. Has he been stealing the 
 spoons ?' inquired Tom Feather Yane. 
 
 " ' Spoons 1 no my new brass knocker. We'll bring 
 him to the police. I caught him with it in his pocket/ 
 
 " ' That we will r by Jingo 1' shouted Tom, seizing hold of 
 the innocent Jones by the collar. 
 
 " 'Now then, hold him tight until I fetch a light. Hal- 
 loa ! Mrs. Nipper 1 What are you about up there ? a can- 
 dle bring a candle/ 
 
 " ' You vagabond I You come about gentlemen's houses 
 stealing their knockers 1 I'll give you a lesson you won't 
 forget in a hurry come in here, you shocking reprobate !'> 
 and opening the kitchen door, Mr. Feather Yane pushed in 
 his captive, while the enraptured Mr. Griffiths proceeded in 
 quest of a light. 
 
 " ' Punch his head with a poker if he attempts to stir/ 
 shouted Mr. Griffiths from the top of the stairs. 
 
 " ' You nincompoop !' said Tom, shaking the bewildered 
 Jones ; ' why don't you make yourself scarce ? Do you see 
 that open window ? What is it there for, you idiot ? If 
 I were to let you go now, do you think you could jump 
 through it ?' 
 
 " ' I'll try,' said the man, scratching his head. 
 
 " ' Be off, then, like a lamplighter, and keep your own 
 counsel,' said Tom, letting him loose. 
 
 " Thus released, Jones, the follower, without waiting to 
 thank his captor, sprang through the open window ; while 
 Tom shouted as loud as he could bawl, ' Stop him I stop 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 273 
 
 him ! the villain has knocked me over. He's off 1 Stop 
 him ! stop him !' 
 
 " ' You don't mean to tell me you have let the rascal go !' 
 inquired the old gentleman, as, candle in hand, he reap- 
 peared on the scene of action. 
 
 " ' Confound him 1' replied Tom ; ' the devil couldn't hold 
 such a fellow ; the very instant, sir, you left me alone with 
 him, he gave me a thump on the head, which quite stunned 
 me, and then he bolted like shot. 7 
 
 " ' Blow on the head, my dear sir ? I am really sincere- 
 ly concerned you should have suffered in your anxiety to 
 serve me. But, bless me ! Why yes, you are actually 
 bleeding !' 
 
 " ' Oh, it is nothing of any consequence.' (Tom had got 
 the hurt in his previous rencontre at the street door.) 
 
 " * It is of consequence we must get it looked to at once. 
 Here, Mrs. Nipper deuce take the woman, where is she ? 
 Mrs. Nipper, I say, some hot water and towels be quick. 
 If ever I find him on my premises again, I'll have him 
 skinned alive. The second knocker in a week. Ugh ! the 
 villain ! Now, pray* my dear sir, do let me look at your 
 wound.' 
 
 " Tom having submitted his head to the inspection of Mr. 
 Griffiths, endeavored to assume as solemn an expression of 
 countenance as he could. Mrs. Nipper entering with a basin 
 of hot water, no sooner saw him, than she began to scream 
 violently. 
 
 " ' Deuce take the woman, what is she at ? Did you 
 never see blood before ? Run up-stairs and bring me some 
 sticking-plaster. Be quick, if you please, Mrs. Nipper, 7 
 said the energetic old gentleman. 
 
 " The cook departed, but soon returned to say that she 
 could not find the article of which she had gone in quest. 
 
 " ' Stupid Nipper, you seem to have lost any little sense 
 12* 
 
214 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 you ever had ; give me the candle and I'll fetch it myself/ 
 and off went Mr. Griffiths, to look for the plaster, leaving 
 his domestic face to face with the object which had inspired 
 her with such aversion and horror. 
 
 " ' Now, don't look so frightened, my dear friend/ said 
 Tom Feather Yane, ' here's something to buy you a new 
 ribbon ;' and as he "spoke he slipped a sovereign into the 
 lady's hand. 
 
 " l Lawk, my good gracious !' 
 
 " ' Never mind your good gracious I have let your lover 
 off, as you see say nothing about it, and I'll make your for- 
 tune, you gipsy.' 
 
 "How this feat was to be accomplished, Tom Feather 
 Yane, who was always very ready, at any sudden emergen- 
 cy, with vague promises, never paused to determine. He 
 laid his finger on his lips ' Mum ! is the word, Mrs. Nip- 
 per,' he said ; ' you may trust me, my dear.' 
 
 " The approach of the master of the house rendered any 
 further conversation impossible, so Mrs. Nipper slipped the 
 coin into her bosom, and assisted her master in the surgical 
 operations which he proceeded to perform upon his interest- 
 ing patient. 
 
 " When Tom Feather Yane was washed and brushed, 
 covered with sticking-plaster, and made as presentable as 
 under existing circumstances it was possible to make him, he 
 was invited to remain to supper as a matter of course, and 
 like a clever fellow as he was, he made so good a use of 
 this opportunity, that a very few weeks seemed to establish 
 him as a regular visitor of the family ; and it is somewhat 
 remarkable, that from the period of that occurrence, there 
 never was another knocker stolen from the hall-door of the 
 Griffiths' mansion ; a circumstance which Tom, with inimita- 
 ble sang froid and nonchalance, attributed to the personal 
 prowess of Mr. Griffiths, in his rencontre with the felonious 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 275 
 
 assailant of his premises. Such was the manner in which 
 tjje lieutenant obtained an introduction ; and it was at the 
 petit souper which succeeded to the affray, that his eye was 
 most agreeably refreshed by the sight of a very charming 
 young lady, who, what with tittering and blushing at the 
 comical picture he presented with the right side of his head 
 covered with large stripes of sticking-plaster, and trembling 
 for the safety of her beloved parent, formed one of the most 
 enchanting pictures of youthful grace and loveliness he 
 thought he had ever had the good fortune to behold. He 
 envied the old gentleman as his daughter threw her arm 
 round his pudgy neck with a loving pressure, and felt 
 inclined to defy him to mortal combat on the spot ; but as 
 such a rencontre might have interfered with his future opera- 
 tions, Tom restrained his angry feelings at seeing a father 
 kissed by his daughter, and made himself so uncommonly 
 agreeable, that he produced a favorable impression upon 
 both ; so that in an unusually short time from this incident, 
 he had contrived to become the accepted suitor of the young 
 lady, whom he afterwards led to the hymeneal altar." 
 
 " Bravo ! capital !" resounded from all sides, when the 
 speaker had concluded. 
 
 " And now, my boys, do you think we shall really catch 
 these fellows after all ?" 
 
 " Impossible to tell, until daylight doth appear." 
 " It's beginning to appear now, or I am mistaken." 
 " Douse the glim then, and let us have a look out." 
 The lamp being accordingly extinguished, the gray light 
 of dawning morning streamed in upon the assembled party, 
 who did not by any means appear to so much advantage 
 seen through its medium, as they did by lamp-light. But 
 they donned their various habiliments, and proceeded upon 
 deck tumbling up, as the phrase is, one after another, the 
 companion ladder. The night watch was still on the look- 
 
216 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 out, the men for the most part were asleep at their quarters. 
 Neither the captain nor the first lieutenant had of course 
 made their appearance, and the good ship was holding on 
 under a heavy press of sail, the apparently solitary occupant 
 of the vast expanse of sea. 
 
 " Blow ! blow, thou freshening breeze I" shouted Walter 
 Long ; " blow us to the enemy I" 
 
 " There don't seem much probability of such a result, as 
 far as I am able to judge," said Hamilton, who was sweep- 
 ing the horizon with a glass. " No, none can tell what luck 
 may be in store for us before the sun goes down." 
 
 "Whereabouts were they seen last? 7 ' 
 
 " To the south-west," replied the captain of the watch. 
 
 " They have out-sailed us, then, and be d d to them !" 
 
 " Shouldn't think that at all likely ; the fog is still heavy 
 to leeward." 
 
 "And when it clears off, you think they'll turn up, eh ?" 
 
 " I have no doubt of it, whatever," replied the man, 
 touching his hat. 
 
 " How many of them were reported due ?" 
 
 "Only one sail, to any certainty." 
 
 " Well, one is enough, if we can only catch her." 
 
 "And so we shall with the blessing of Providence," said 
 the captain of the watch. 
 
 But the daylight which they had all been so anxiously 
 awaiting, although it had now fairly broken, and the rising 
 sun had dispelled the floating mist, did not reveal to the 
 anxious crew the enemy of whom they were in quest. But 
 instead thereof, lay a long stripe, like a thin bank of cloud, 
 floating on the surface of the water, far away in the dis- 
 tance, which was soon ascertained to be land, even before 
 the man at the mast-head made the usual announcement. 
 The disappointment was deep and universal. There could 
 be no question that the strange sail had succeeded, under 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 27t 
 
 cover of the night, in rejoining the remainder of the squad- 
 ron in the harbor of Brest. Deep and loud were the rail- 
 ings against the ill-fortune which had befallen the Juno in 
 allowing such a prize to escape ; but there was apparently 
 no help for it, so all hands were piped to breakfast in an 
 exceedingly ill-humor, and the Juno held on upon her 
 course, the land of the French coast becoming every hour 
 more distinctly visible. At length, towards evening, as the 
 ship passed close to the shore, a fine frigate was discovered 
 at anchor under the batteries of Carnantburg. She rode 
 at her anchors, with top-gallants across, her large ensign 
 floating from the peak ; she was evidently the object the 
 Juno had been so long pursuing, and there she was, to all 
 appearance secure from any hostile aggression. The cir- 
 cumstance having been duly reported to the skipper, who 
 was not the man to be deterred from any course which 
 seemed to hold out a reasonable prospect of success, he 
 swore he would cut her out. The news soon flew fore and 
 aft. The men swarming at the quarters were not in a hu- 
 mor to be balked. Then came all the preparations for this 
 desperate undertaking, for it was well known that the posi- 
 tion of the frigate was such, that any attempt to cut her 
 out would be attended with a tremendous sacrifice of life. 
 
 "Well, my boy, which boat do you go in?" inquired 
 Walter Long of a messmate, who was selecting from a bun- 
 dle of cutlasses one which seemed the best adapted to his 
 length and strength of arm. 
 
 " I go in the cutter with Morris ; we lead." 
 " Tfie deuce you do I you may, too, if you can keep it." 
 " We'll do our best, my boy ; who are you with?" 
 " Oh, I'm in the gig. Brown is with us." 
 " I think Brown looks a little chalky about the gills ; 
 hey, don't he, rather ? He is thinking of his little wife and 
 four small children at Gosport, most probably." 
 
218 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Ah ! I didn't know he had any responsibilities of that 
 kind" 
 
 "Yes, he has ; and serious ones they are when a fellow 
 is going into such an action." 
 
 " Of course I of course I think this blade seems the 
 stoutest : its temper shall be tried presently." 
 
 Towards nightfall everything was in readiness, and at a 
 given signal, the boats, duly manned, in perfect silence left 
 the ship. Such was the ardor of the men, that they strove, 
 one division against the other, to near the frigate. In this 
 effort to be first, there was displayed less discretion than 
 enthusiasm one would have thought they were rowing at 
 a boat-race. And at length, the splashing of the oars in 
 all probability had attracted the notice of the frigate ; for 
 a blue-light was thrown up, and weighing anchor, she ran 
 in close alongside of the batteries, where she moored. But 
 the more the danger, the more sailors feel stimulated. The 
 removal of the frigate did not cause the expedition for a 
 moment to falter ; their hands and hearts were alike ready. 
 There was not a sound heard save the measured dip of the 
 muffled oars as they fell swiftly in the water. 
 
 The boats were now close together, and rapidly approach- 
 ing the object of attack. The first halted for a moment, 
 and the first lieutenant standing up, addressed his crew. 
 
 " Now, my lads," he said, " we have a stiff piece of work 
 before us ; but the greater the danger, the greater the 
 honor. To bring that frigate out from the teeth of them 
 batteries will be no easy piece of work, I promise you. 
 You, Bill Sykes, are a smart foretop man ; let us see how 
 you can loosen the frigate's foretop sail, so as to catch any 
 breath of wind, and we shall have a stiff one presently. 
 You need not be particular in casting off the gasket ; a 
 sharp knife and an easy conscience will do the work. Don't 
 stand on stepping-stones, and in the meantime we'll see what 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 219 
 
 we can do with the fellows below. So now, my lads, one 
 single cheer, and then you'll follow me." 
 
 A hearty cheer, that seemed to ring from the very bosom 
 of the deep, was the immediate reply, and the boats dashed 
 on to the attack, the cutter leading the way. 
 
 But just at this moment a sheet of flame burst from the 
 frigate, followed by a crashing volley of grape and canister, 
 which taking effect upon the second boat, stove it into 
 atoms. This salutation, enough to have damped the cour- 
 age of any men, however determined, was received with a 
 fresh cheer, and casting on their grappling irons, the assail- 
 ants prepared to board. But this was no easy task. The 
 French, armed at all points, presented a bristling front of 
 boarding pikes and cutlasses, while a close and well-directed 
 fire of musketry was kept up from the poop. 
 
 Nothing could exceed the gallantry of the assailants, but 
 they were driven back with great loss, in spite of their 
 clinging cat-like to the ropes ; while the enemy, seeing the 
 failure of the first attempt to gain a footing, shouted like 
 demons with rage and triumph. Never since man first en- 
 gaged his fellow was there displayed on both sides more 
 desperate courage. The fire-arms of the British sailors 
 were now perfectly useless, and, armed with the cutlass and 
 boarding-pike only, they persevered in their attempt with 
 undaunted determination. The batteries had now opened, 
 and although the darkness of the night prevented them 
 from aiming with any certainty, the shot fell like hail in the 
 water. Undismayed by the furious fire from them and from 
 the frigate, undeterred by the forest of pikes which bristled 
 from her bows, and the loss of so many a gallant comrade, 
 the English sailors again and again rushed to the assault, 
 and at length succeeded in gaining a footing upon the fore- 
 castle. 
 
 " Hurrah for the first aloft I ;; shouted Sykes, who, clear- 
 
280 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 ing a path with his cutlass, sprang upon the rigging, and 
 clambering aloft, was soon in the neighborhood of the fore- 
 top-sail yard. But having made good his way, the gallant 
 seaman found an unexpected obstacle : the gear was lashed 
 close along the yard, but a clasp-knife, judiciously applied, 
 soon set it free ; and so expeditiously was this accomplished, 
 and so well did the seamen stationed to loose the sail per- 
 form their part of the work, that in less than five minutes 
 after the period of gaining the deck, the frigate had her 
 three topsails and courses cut adrift, and the sails dropping 
 down ready to be sheeted home. The sound of the falling 
 sails was the first intimation of his danger to the enemy. 
 So long as they continued under the batteries, they had lit- 
 tle ground for apprehension ; but once drifting out to sea, 
 with a desperate enemy on board, they felt their position 
 would be hopeless. Everything now depended upon the 
 wind. 
 
 Meanwhile the struggle upon deck proceeded. It was 
 literally hand to hand and foot to foot ; the cutlass and the 
 boarding-pike against the sabre and the bayonet. At first 
 the French stood their ground with admirable determina- 
 tion, and the assailants were repulsed with serious loss ; but 
 the vigor of their attack at last carried everything before 
 it ; and although the deck, contested inch by inch as it was, 
 continued swept by a heavy fire of musketry, it was soon in 
 the possession of the British seamen. At this crisis a voice 
 was heard to exclaim, " She goes ahead now !" The mo- 
 tion of the ship was perceptible to all on board ; and then, 
 high over the crashing of the shot, and the shrieks of the 
 wounded, rose in tones of thunder the British cheer. But 
 the firing from the ramparts still continued with unabated 
 vigor, and it was quite evident that the soldiery, seeing the 
 vessel had been taken, were determined if possible to de- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 281 
 
 stroy her, even at the sacrifice of all on board. The wind, 
 however, increased a few minutes more, and the vessel, 
 with her crew and her gallant captors, would be beyond the 
 reach of further injury. The crisis was one of intense ex- 
 citement. On the forecastle stood Walter Long ; how he 
 had contrived to escape destruction seemed miraculous, for 
 he was in the first boat, which had been stove to pieces. 
 He had fought his way to the post of eminence which he 
 now occupied, surrounded by a few of his comrades. The 
 acquisition of this position had been" an achievement by no 
 means easy of performance. As he led the way from the 
 quarter-gallery, he found his progress impeded, in conse- 
 quence of the door having been barricaded. All attempts 
 to demolish this obstacle having proved in vain, he clam- 
 bered up to the taffrail, and from thence succeeded in gam- 
 ing the quarter-deck, where the fight was thickest. Sweep- 
 ing his cutlass round his head, and cheering on his comrades, 
 he had fought his way gallantly to the spot. And now the 
 breeze springing up, the sails were trimmed, and the frigate 
 drawing fast from the land, was soon out of the reach of 
 any further mischief. 
 
 The exultation at the success of this gallant enterprise 
 would be less difficult to imagine than to describe. The 
 captured frigate was towed alongside, and taken into the 
 nearest English port. The brilliant exploit we have thus 
 recorded, found praise from every lip ; it was one of the 
 most daring and well-executed naval attacks since the cut- 
 ting out of the Herrnione. The loss was, however, consid- 
 erable ; fifteen men had been killed on the part of the as- 
 sailants, and nearly thirty severely wounded. For some days 
 after the engagement, the crew of the Juno were busily en- 
 gaged in endeavoring to repair the damages which had 
 been sustained from the shot of the batteries by the French 
 
282 SWELL LIFE AT SEA, ETC. 
 
 vessel ; new sails had to be bent ; the gunwales, which were 
 considerably torn by shot, to be replaced ; and many other 
 repairs effected, before the vessel could with safety be pro- 
 nounced fit for sea. Fitted for sea, however, in due time, 
 she became ; and now, under another name, manned by an- 
 other crew, and with a different - ensign floating from her 
 poop, she ploughs the waves, a very neat and unexception- 
 able English cruiser. 
 
AQUATIC EXPEDITION 
 
 GIBRALTAR TO BARCELONA. 
 
 SOME years since; no matter how many, but it was in 
 the month of May I found myself (located, as the Yan- 
 kees say) for four-and-twenty hours at the Ragged Staff 
 Guard at Gibraltar, and, during my tour of duty, was visited 
 
 by my friend B , who mentioned his having obtained 
 
 twelve months' leave of absence, and his intention of pro- 
 ceeding in his yacht to Carthagena, and thence through 
 France to England, provided any officer would accompany 
 him to whom might be intrusted the charge of the craft on 
 her homeward voyage. Yachting and boating are favorite 
 pastimes with the military denizens of the Rock, and they 
 who possess a taste for aquatic pursuits, have ample induce- 
 ment to gratify their predilection, for the scene on a calm 
 summer's evening, when the noble bay reflects on its un- 
 ruffled surface the numerous vessels resting on its bosom, 
 and the lofty Rock, with its batteries, houses, orange trees, 
 geraniums and acacias, with the distant mountains of Spain 
 and Africa, are bathed in the light of a brilliant sunset, is 
 sufficient to win to exertion even the most indolent and apa- 
 thetic. When, on the other hand, strong south-westerly 
 
284 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 breezes or the more dangerous "Levanter" prevail, giga 
 manned by adventurous spirits may be seen poised on the 
 crests or descending into the trough of the accompanying 
 heavy sea, whilst here and there trim little yachts, stagger- 
 ing under a press of canvas, the flag of England fluttering 
 from their peaks, proclaim their owners sons of that nation 
 whose 
 
 " March is on the mountain wave, whose home is on the deep." 
 
 Of that gallant and warm-hearted band who were then the 
 chief promoters of boating parties, of pic-nics ; and of fun 
 and merriment of every kind, but few now remain. Some, 
 chafing at a life of inactivity in our own service, joined the 
 ranks of the British Legion, and at St. Sebastian " foremost 
 fighting fell." Some have withered under the blasting in- 
 fluence of West Indian yellow fever ; the bones of others 
 are bleaching on the banks of the distant Sutlej ; a few 
 have achieved honors and renown ; some still serve on, 
 hoping for opportunities of distinguishing themselves which 
 may never arrive ; and others, passing into private life, have 
 been* absorbed and lost sight of in the great vortex of ever- 
 changing society. 
 
 It may at the first moment seem strange that B 
 
 should have expressed doubts as to any one joining him on 
 the cruise he proposed, but a future description of the little 
 " Midge" will somewhat account for his skepticism. Think- 
 ing this would be an excellent opportunity for seeing more 
 of Spain than I had hitherto been enabled to accomplish, I 
 immediately expressed my readiness for the trip and there 
 being, moreover, just sufficient risk in the business to render 
 it what is termed a " sporting undertaking" served as an 
 
 additional incentive to make the trial ; and on Lieut. II 
 
 also agreeing to join the party, nothing remained but to 
 apply for leave (which was granted) and to make the ne- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 285 
 
 cessary preparations for the voyage. As none of us had 
 ever been eastward of Malaga, and were totally ignorant 
 
 of the coast, Admiral, then Captain S , was consulted 
 
 as to the prudence of the undertaking, who thereupon in- 
 formed us " we should all be drowned." This opinion (in 
 conformity with the perverseness of human nature) only 
 strengthened our determination to proceed ; but hearing 
 
 that the governor, the late Sir W. H , had declared he 
 
 would not permit us to start upon so wild an expedition, we 
 procured bills of health for Cadiz as well as for Carthagena, 
 and thus in, some degree blinded the authorities as to our 
 real intentions. On the afternoon of Sunday, the second 
 of June, the anchor was weighed, and by the united assist- 
 ance of the current and a strong south-westerly breeze, the 
 Rock was soon left far astern. The singular fact that while 
 at its upper extremity the Mediterranean receives a con- 
 stant supply from the Black Sea by a current setting into it 
 from the Dardanelles, and at the lower by a current setting 
 through the straits of Gibraltar from the Atlantic, no per- 
 ceptible influence is exercised upon it by this necessarily 
 vast accession of water, has been the subject of much con- 
 sideration amongst the learned, and various theories have 
 been propounded to account for this remarkable circum- 
 stance. That the upper influx is counteracted by an under 
 efflux can scarcely be doubted, for that the superfluous 
 water could be carried off by evaporation alone bears upon 
 it the stamp of impossibility. Behold us now fairly afloat, 
 and a description of the boat, destined for several weeks to 
 be our home, which gallantly weathered many a gale and 
 bore us over some hundreds of miles, may not here be out 
 of place. Of about five tons burthen, and cutter-rigged 
 with a mizen, her capabilities of steerage were for her size 
 considerable. Aft was an open space in the deck for the 
 helmsman, which could be closed at pleasure. Round this 
 
286 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OB, 
 
 (in lockers for the purpose) were wines and provisions. 
 The cabin contained two sleeping berths for ourselves, and 
 opening from it was accommodation for the crew. Ledges 
 of about five inches in height ran fore and aft of the berths, 
 to keep the mattresses in their places, and a plank resting 
 upon them, served as a bench when taking our meals, our 
 heads when thus seated being within a few inches of the 
 deck. In calm weather the frames of the hatches were 
 raised upon iron stanchions, which added much to our 
 comfort. A small table slung with cords from the deck 
 could be unshipped at pleasure ; drawers for knives, forks, 
 and plates, a copper washing basin, a kettle, a coffee pot, a 
 couple of saucepans, a frying-pan, and two " braseros" 
 formed our list of indispensables. The commissariat con- 
 sisted of seven days' water, salt provisions, a portion of the 
 common red wine of the country, biscuits, tea, sugar, coffee, 
 cheese, &c. The stores were three anchors, one chain, 
 and two hempen cables, iron ballast, spare sails, &c. Two 
 small guns forward, and two aft, for signals, working upon 
 pivots, were, when at sea, usually placed below. This cargo, 
 added to our three selves and the crew, (two men and a 
 boy, the latter working his way to Santa Pola,) brought 
 the yacht so low in the water that by leaning over the side 
 we could reach it with our hands. The^party was divided 
 into three watches, one of ourselves being always in charge, 
 and such other arrangements were made as were considered 
 most conducive to our safety and comfort. 
 
 The fresh breeze with which we had commenced our voyage 
 gradually deserted us, and we had the extreme felidty (?) 
 of tumbling about in a heavy short sea during the greater 
 part of the night ; but the following morning the friendly 
 south-wester again came to our aid, and after speaking H. M. 
 ten-gun brig Philomel, (with the officers of which we were 
 well acquainted, owing to her being on the Gibraltar sta- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING 287 
 
 tion,) cruising under easy canvas, anchored in Malaga Bay 
 about half-past twelve o' clock. The health-boat coming 
 alongside and the officer in charge admitting us to pratique, 
 a shore-boat was put in requisition to land us, the " Midge" 
 not being sufficiently large to carry even a " dingy" for our 
 own use. 
 
 We first paid our respects to Mr. Mark, the consul, and 
 then proceeded to the authorities, whose duty it was to 
 examine and sign the cutter's papers. The town of Malaga, 
 situated in the province of Granada, and divided by the river 
 Guadelmedina into two parts, presents, with the ruins of its 
 ancient Moorish castle, a fine appearance from the sea ; 
 the mountains which surround it forming a splendid back- 
 ground to the picture. The Cathedral was the first point 
 of attention ; one of its towers only was completed, but 
 from the other is a magnificent view of the adjacent country. 
 The roof, supported by lofty pillars, has but little beauty to 
 recommend it, but the choir is curiously carved and con- 
 tains a number of stalls. Of the tone of the organs, two in 
 number, we had no opportunity of judging. Great efibrts 
 were made to impress us with a sense of the unrivalled mag- 
 nificence of the building, but our expectations in this par- 
 ticular were grievously disappointed. The Alameda is a 
 beautiful promenade, planted with trees and surrounded 
 with handsome houses. It is the favorite resort of the fair 
 sex, and the Malagenas, equalling if not excelling their sis- 
 ters of Cadiz in those attractions which captivate the sterner 
 sex, here make sad havoc with the hearts of their attendant 
 caballeros. Several parties of them were slowly pacing up 
 and down, and certes the magnificent eyes and voluptuous 
 forms of some among them were amply sufficient to have 
 roused the passions of far colder blooded mortals than are 
 the inhabitants of this fiery clime. The streets were narrow 
 and crowded with people, some sitting, some standing, some 
 
288 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 stretched at full length on the ground, some slowly saunter- 
 ing, but all apparently revelling in idleness, and affording 
 by their picturesque costumes and lazy attitudes interesting 
 studies to the observant artist. 
 
 " Torijos ' ; and his companions, some fifty in number, and 
 amongst them an Irish gentleman named Boyd, were shot 
 on the beach in December, 1831, by General Moreno, for 
 having endeavored to procure a rising in favor of the " Con- 
 stitution," their capture being effected by a system of treach- 
 ery seldom heard of amongst civilized nations. It is a mat- 
 ter of surprise, that, about to embark on a perilous service, 
 and as Spaniards well acquainted with the proverbial deceit- 
 fulness of their fellow-countrymen, they so easily fell into 
 the trap prepared for them " Quos Deus vult perdere prius 
 dementat." With Mr. Boyd some of us had been slightly 
 acquainted, and this circumstance added to the interest we 
 took in the scene of the catastrophe. Having been deluded 
 by false representations on the part of the government au- 
 thorities that the soldiery at Malaga were disaffected, and 
 that two guarda costas would join and escort the party on 
 their voyage, Torijos and his companions were, in an evil 
 hour, induced to start on their ill-starred expedition. The 
 government cruisers, instead of proving friendly, drove them 
 on shore at a point where troops were prepared for their 
 hostile reception ; when taking refuge in a house, they were 
 compelled to surrender, and soon after shot without trial. 
 A letter was sent, by Mr. Boyd, to a friend at Gibraltar, 
 composed a few hours before his execution, expressing calm 
 and manly resignation to his fate, stating that a priest had 
 endeavored to make him abjure his religion, and requesting 
 the person to whom the communication was addressed, to 
 declare publicly, in case doubts should be expressed on the 
 subject, that he died a firm adherent to the Protestant faith. 
 
 Embarking in the evening, we sailed with the rising of 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 289 
 
 the land wind, the night being very dark, save when vivid 
 lightning shed its momentary blaze over the far horizon. 
 During the middle watch the storm was in all its grandeur, 
 and the scene was awfully impressive. The electric fluid 
 leaped from cloud to cloud, the thunder crashed above our 
 heads, while the phosphoric light which gleamed from the 
 water, as with a steady breeze the cutter ploughed her way 
 through the swelling billows, cast a ghastly hue upon her 
 canvas during the intervals of pitchy darkness. This tur- 
 moil of the elements gradually ceased, and morning at length 
 shed its cold gray light upon the restless waves. There is 
 something inexpressibly cheerful in the advent of approach- 
 ing day ; to behold it dispelling night, and lifting itself, as 
 it were, from out the ever moving waters. Objects hitherto 
 indistinct become gradually more and more visible, a golden 
 tinge irradiates the sky, and clouds of brilliant coloring her- 
 ald the approach of the great luminary who diffuses light 
 and life o'er all created nature. During the early part of N 
 the day we anchored abreast of a small village called Nerja, 
 and going ashore, paid our respects to the Padre, with a 
 view of obtaining from him any information that might 
 prove useful. He received us with politeness, and sent for 
 some fishermen to give us directions as to our future navi- 
 gation along the coast. There being nothing worthy of ob- 
 servation at Nerja, and finding ourselves objects of unpleas- 
 ant curiosity to the inhabitants, who appeared imbued with 
 eastern distrust of strangers, we returned on board the 
 yacht. The heat was intense ; not a cloud obscured the 
 midday sun, whose rays were reflected as by a mirror from 
 the surface of a sea unruffled by the slightest breeze. A 
 white mist, floating over the summits of the mountains, 
 blended earth and sky in indistinct confusion. The "Midge " 
 riding lazily at her anchor, floating quietly upon the long 
 undulations of a heavy ground swell, combined with the 
 
290 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 monotonous roar of the sarf breaking upon the adjacent 
 rocks, superinduced a most overpowering feeling of lassitude 
 and distaste for exertion. The hatches being removed, and 
 their frames elevated upon the 'stanchions, (previously 
 spoken of,) wet sails were laid over all, and a trifling degree 
 of coolness being thus obtained, we followed the example of 
 the natives and resigned ourselves to repose. About 7 P. 
 M. we were again under weigh, a light air just filling the 
 sails, and soon had a fine view of the Apuljarras mountains 
 which extend many miles along the coast. The morning of 
 the fifth brought with it an increasing breeze from the old 
 quarter, the south-west, and our gallant little craft dashed 
 through the water in first rate style. Numerous vessels 
 were sighted during- the day, one of which we spoke, and 
 found to be the " Rambler," from Leghorn, bound to Lon- 
 don. Towards night, the wind freshening almost to a gale, 
 with a heavy sea, the topmast was struck, the mainsail 
 double reefed, the mizen brailed, jibs were shifted, and the 
 hatches battened down, all hands remaining on deck whilst 
 we doubled Cape de Gata, a gigantic rock some twenty 
 miles in circumference. Whether arising from any peculiar 
 formation of the coast, I cannot pretend to decide, but cer- 
 tain it is that at this particular spot storms are almost inva- 
 riably encountered, and the native sailors have a great dis- 
 like to its unpleasant neighborhood. Dark clouds driving 
 swiftly across the sky permitted a waning moon to shed its 
 sickly light at intervals upon the waste- of waters ; occa- 
 sional flashes of lightning increased the wildness of the pros- 
 pect, while far away to leeward the dreaded Cape loomed 
 spectrally in the misty distance. The " Midge," with the 
 wind nearly a-beam, flew merrily over the heaving waves, 
 and quite satisfied us that happen what might, she, at all 
 events, would do her duty. 
 
 Continuing our course till we judged a sufficient offing 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 291 
 
 had been obtained to fetch Carthagena, the helm was put 
 up, and the wind drawing right aft, the mainsail was furled, 
 the square-sail hoisted in its place, and we had every pros- 
 pect (if the breeze remained steady) of a fine run to our 
 desired haven. Great care was requisite in steering the 
 cutter, so as to avoid mischief from the huge seas that came 
 thundering astern, as if determined to overwhelm her ; but 
 the buoyant little craft rose gallantly upon them, and they 
 passed harmlessly by, hissing and roaring under the bows in 
 impotent malice. The regular watch was now set, and the 
 remainder of us sought the shelter of our diminutive cabin. 
 On looking out from the hatchway on the morning of the 
 6th all was changed. It was a perfect calm ; the bright 
 blue heaven uncheckered by a single cloud, and not a 
 breath of air existed to fill the sails, which flapped and rat- 
 tled as we gently rolled upon the heavy swells ; a light air 
 springing up about midday enabled us, assisted by our 
 sweeps, to reach the " Puerto de las Aguilas," in the harbor 
 of which we anchored for the night. It is very secure for 
 small craft, protected by a hill jutting out into the sea, on 
 the summit of which is a fort. We passed the night on 
 board, and four o'clock on the morning of the 7th saw us 
 again under weigh, with a more moderate south-westerly 
 breeze. 
 
 A large guarda costa, carrying a heavy gun amidships, 
 and full of men, bore down upon us about ten, evidently not 
 understanding who or what we were, but upon our hoisting 
 the English flag, and, in reply to a question from her cap- 
 tain, stating whence we were come and whither we were go- 
 ing, she went about and left us to pursue our voyage. The 
 harbor of Carthagena is, from the narrowness of its en- 
 trance, very difficult of access to strangers, and it was with 
 some little trouble, owing to our total ignorance of the coast, 
 that we at length discovered it, when, standing in, we an 
 
292 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 chored about three o'clock in the afternoon. Having ar- 
 rived at a place of such importance, it was determined to 
 make as smart an appearance as circumstances would per- 
 mit. The cutter's sails were furled with unusual care, the 
 yard was squared with the utmost exactness, ropes were 
 neatly coiled down, swivels mounted, and ourselves arrayed 
 in blue undress uniforms, awaited the arrival of the health- 
 boat, which, pulling twelve oars, and large enough to have 
 taken the "Midge" on board, soon after came alongside 
 and demanded our papers, the officers and crew using sun- 
 dry exclamations of surprise at the smallness of the yacht. 
 Our credentials being delivered, we fully expected per- 
 mission to land at once, when, to our amazement and indig- 
 nation, the officials informed us we must perform six days' 
 quarantine, that being the time fixed for all vessels coming 
 from Gibraltar. In vain we remonstrated, stating we were 
 last from Malaga, and not from Gibraltar as was declared, 
 when the Governor's Secretary, who happened to be present, 
 settled the matter by a direct falsehood, viz : that it mat- 
 tered not where vessels might have touched at, but that if 
 they were from the Rock at all, into quarantine they must 
 go. As civility had failed in mollifying these worthies, we 
 tried what eifect a little bluster would produce, and vowed 
 that every Spanish vessel should, upon reaching Gibraltar, 
 perform the same number of days' quarantine they might in- 
 flict upon us, stating in addition, we should forthwith lay a 
 complaint before our ambassador at Madrid. The Dons, 
 evidently a little bothered, pulled away, leaving a health 
 guard in a boat a short distance off 'to prevent any commu- 
 nication with the shore. A few pecetas rendered the man 
 excessively obliging, and he procured for us a supply of 
 j-ater, fresh provisions and vegetables, and undertook to 
 send a letter from us to the Consul, informing him of our 
 situation, and requesting he would use his influence to ob- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 293 
 
 tain our release, as we were satisfied some knavery was at 
 the bottom of the transaction. 
 
 The whole proceeding, however, was most vexatious, and 
 the prospect of a long beat to windward of between two 
 and three hundred miles back to the Rock against the pre- 
 vailing westerly winds, without accomplishing the object of 
 our voyage, at the first moment entirely destroyed our equa- 
 nimity ; but after hoisting the yellow flag, and consigning 
 Spaniards in general, and the Carthagena gentry in parti- 
 cular, to the tender mercies of a certain person who shall 
 be nameless, we lighted the pipe of resignation and pa- 
 tiently submitted to our fate. Our arrival had evidently 
 excited some little interest ; first one boat, then another, 
 then two and three together, hovered round us, their occu- 
 pants making remarks upon the size, rig, and appearance 
 of the yacht. Some declared we belonged to the Navy, 
 others that we were spies ; in short no supposition, however 
 ridiculous, was too extravagant for their fertile imagina- 
 tions. 
 
 The magnificent harbor of Carthagena, in which a navy 
 might ride at anchor, is situated on the coast of Murcia, 
 and, land-locked on all sides, save at its entrance defended 
 by an island, is secure from every storm. A few coasting 
 vessels only were in port at the time of our visit, and trade 
 appeared almost to have deserted a locality once famous in 
 history for its commerce. The shades of a lovely evening 
 at length stole over us, the hum of voices in the town had 
 ceased, and we retired to our berths speculating as to the 
 course that would be adopted towards us by the great men 
 on shore. Advantage was taken of the fineness of the fol- 
 lowing morning to bring all our bedding, wet clothes, &c., 
 on deck, and such little repairs were made in the rigging, 
 as upon examination were found requisite. 
 
 Whilst at breakfast, being hailed vociferously by some 
 
294 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 person in a boat close to us, we showed ourselves above the 
 hatchway, when a gentleman, taking off his hat and bow- 
 ing politely, informed us in Spanish he was the English 
 Yice-Consul rather an Irishism but though a Spaniard, 
 he was the locum tenens of the Consul, who was absent from 
 Carthagena. He had received our note, and h#d waited 
 upon the governor, who promised that in a short time we 
 should receive permission to land. After some little con- 
 versation, and leaving his address, he took his departure. 
 The success of our diplomacy of the previous afternoon put 
 us all in high spirits, and in about an hour the tub of a 
 health boat with its numerous rowers was seen slowly ap- 
 proaching, two " heroes" in cocked hats being seated in the 
 stern sheets. On coming alongside, one of them proved to 
 be our friend the secretary, who, with much courtesy, this 
 time, regretted the inconvenience we had been put to, de- 
 clared the detention to have been a mistake, that we might 
 go on shore whenever we liked, and that we should have 
 admission to the arsenal, dockyard, &c. Many compli- 
 ments having passed between us, the tub moved off, and 
 we were at liberty. 
 
 A very short time elapsed ere we were once more on 
 terra firma, and making our way through wide and well- 
 paved streets to the residence of the vice-consul, who had 
 procured for us the promised order. It was with feelings 
 of regret that we viewed the deserted quays, rope walks, 
 and foundries, and saw that everything was going to decay. 
 Here it was, in more prosperous times, the Spanish fleets 
 were equipped fleets that, in alliance with those of France, 
 contested with us the sovereignty of the seas. Then all 
 was life and activity, now silence and solitude. In the 
 year 1804, we were told, 4000 workmen had been employed 
 in the various departments ; the names of forty only were 
 at this time on the superintendent's books, and a small 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 295 
 
 schooner and a gun-boat were the only government vessels 
 in the docks ! The fortifications are strong, and the garri- 
 son numbered about 2000 men. The little trade remaining 
 is principally in " barilla,'' an impure carbonate of soda, 
 produced by burning marine plants, and " almagra," a red 
 earth used for polishing mirrors. There is likewise a manu- 
 facture of sail-cloth and of ropes and cable, made of " es- 
 parto," a species of rush. The costume of the peasantry 
 whom we met in the streets differed from that we had pre- 
 viously seen. A handkerchief tied round the head took the 
 place of the sugarloaf-shaped hat The jacket of velvet, 
 round the waist a colored sash, white linen kilt instead of 
 breeches, bare legs, hempen sandals, and a gorgeous plaid 
 thrown over the shoulder ; the tout ensembk putting us in 
 mind of the Highlanders of Scotland. For the mantilla 
 the women had substituted white woollen shawls, and wore 
 blue petticoats with yellow bodices. Learning that alle- 
 giance was to be sworn to the young Queen of Spain at 
 Barcelona on or about the 20th of the month, in conse- 
 quence of the abrogation of the Salic law, and that the 
 ceremonies would be upon a grand scale, we wrote to Gib- 
 raltar for a fortnight's extension of leave, to enable us to 
 proceed to the former city, stating, at the same time, we 
 should proceed to Valencia, and that if on our arrival there 
 we heard nothing to the contrary, should conclude it had 
 been granted, and continue our voyage. Having ascended 
 some hills in the neighborhood of the town to enjoy the 
 view, we afterwards returned to the yacht to dine, taking 
 with us the vice-consul. A strong breeze blowing into the 
 bay rendered the "Midge" rather uneasy, and we had not 
 long sat down to our meal when the unfortunate "vice" 
 was completely upset by "mal de mer" and as some time 
 elapsed before a boat could be procured to set him ashore, 
 
296 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR y 
 
 he remained the intervening period in a state of pitiable 
 discomfort. 
 
 We accepted an invitation to pass the evening at his 
 house, and remained on board till the hour arrived for fulfill- 
 ing the engagement. At the residence of the vice-consul 
 we found several caballeros and senoritas (and very pretty 
 sefLoritas too) assembled to meet us. There was singing to 
 guitar accompaniments, and no lack of conversation, our 
 broken Spanish affording vast amusement to our fair 
 acquaintances, who whenever we got into difficulties assisted 
 us out of them with marvellous dexterity. 
 
 In the course of the evening our host inquired if we had 
 
 ever felt the shock of an earthquake. R replied in the 
 
 affirmative, but B and myself never having been so for- 
 tunate, it was proposed we should touch at Torre-vieja, a 
 village on the coast between Carthagena and Alicante, 
 where it was affirmed " tembloresde tierra" took place con. 
 stantly with more or less violence, and that, as the mother 
 of the vice-consul resided there, he should proceed thither 
 by land, and give us the meeting. 
 
 This plan being agreed to, we naturally made inquiries 
 concerning the country we were about to visit, when it ap- 
 peared that in the year 1829 some ten or a dozen villages, 
 Torre-vieja amongst the number, had been destroyed and 
 many of their inhabitants swallowed up by one of these con- 
 vulsions of nature, and since that occurrence " tremblings 
 of the earth" had continued almost without intermission. 
 Having passed a very pleasant evening we took our depart- 
 ure, the " house being placed at our disposal," and we in 
 return for the civility " kissing (metaphorically) the ladies' 
 feet," it not being etiquette on any occasion to follow the 
 English custom of shaking hands. It was with some little 
 curiosity we looked forward to that which it was said we 
 should experience on the morrow, for though to "sea shak- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 297 
 
 ing" we were tolerably well inured, we could form but 
 little idea of what would be our sensations when subjected 
 to that of the earth. Early the following morning we got 
 under weigh, meeting sharp squalls in beating out of the 
 harbor, after which however it fell nearly calm. Having 
 doubled Cape Palbs, a low sandy point with a watch-tower 
 at its extremity, near which are three small islands, called 
 the " Hormigas,' 7 we anchored at Torre- vieja about three 
 o'clock in the afternoon, finding several of the inhabitants 
 on the look-out for us as the Consul's arrival had by a con- 
 siderable time preceded our own. On going ashore our 
 friend received us, and led the way to his mother's house, 
 where we were hospitably entreated ; and after remaining a 
 short time there, started to examine the village, which 
 stands upon the site of the former one. The streets were 
 very wide, enabling the natives to assemble in them in time 
 of danger, and the houses (one, story in height) built of 
 wood and cane, these materials yielding to the motion of 
 the earth, without falling, which such as are composed of 
 brick or stone invariably do. We were assured that scarce- 
 ly a day passed without their owners being reminded upon 
 what unstable ground they dwell ; that animals, such as 
 horses, oxen, mules, &c., were the first to give warning of 
 an approaching shock, stopping if in motion, and placing 
 their legs apart to obtain a firmer footing, and that those 
 who were accustomed to the locality were more sensitive 
 than strangers. Familiarity with danger blunts the appre- 
 hension of it ; festive groups were assembled in front of the 
 houses, enjoying the coolness of the evening ; the song and 
 the merry laugh resourced on every side, and it might have 
 been imagined from the conduct of the actors in the scene, 
 that a recurrence of an event similar to that which had 
 destroyed some hundreds of their countrymen, a short time 
 previous was beyond the bounds of possibility. 
 13* 
 
298 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Not long before our visit an eminent geologist had been 
 sent from Madrid to investigate the cause of this phenome- 
 non, which is confined to a comparatively small district. 
 The day succeeding his arrival shocks were felt, which con- 
 tinued with more or less violence during the remainder of 
 the week. The philosopher at first bore them patiently, 
 but at length he fairly took to his heels, vowing an infinite 
 number of candles to the Virgin, and declaring that for all 
 the riches of the world he would not live in so horrid a 
 place. 
 
 Salt is exported in large quantities from this place, chiefly 
 to the north of Europe, and three Swedish brigs were at an- 
 chor waiting for cargoes of this article. 
 
 Lingering on shore till between eleven and twelve at 
 night, trusting that what we anxiously hoped for might 
 take place, we were nevertheless compelled to embark with- 
 out our wishes being gratified, but comforted with the 
 assurance that so long a cessation of " qua kings " had not 
 been known for a considerable period. After returning to 
 the " Midge," we remained long on deck both to enjoy the 
 beauty of the evening, and that in case of a shock taking 
 place, we might be on the alert, the sensation when on the 
 water resembling that of striking on a rock. 
 
 The morning of the 10th broke gloriously, and with 
 a pleasant breeze, and merely a ripple on the sea, we set sail 
 for Alicante. The wind, however, drew ahead, and soon 
 after deserted us altogether. Between nine and ten o'clock 
 we could see, with the aid of a glass, the ruins of two vil- 
 lages, demolished by the same earthquake which had so 
 grievously maltreated " Torra-vieja." Off Santa Pola we 
 hove to, in order to land the boy who had accompanied us 
 from Gibraltar at his native village, and the breeze having 
 again freshened, we had to beat the whole distance to Ali- 
 cante, in the roadstead of which we anchored, between four 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 299 
 
 and five in the afternoon, and being admitted to pratique, 
 lost no time in landing. The custom-house officials acted 
 with unusual incivility, opening our carpet bags and strew- 
 ing the contents on the pier. This conduct secured for 
 them the " gain of a loss," as we in consequence withheld 
 the fee usually presented to these jacks-in-office. Receiving 
 every attention from the consul (Mr. Waring), we put up at 
 an hotel in the Plaza del Mar, and passed the night (I 
 cannot say slept) ashore for the first time since leaving 
 Gibraltar. Whether this state of unrest was caused by the 
 attacks of certain active little tormentors, by the closeness 
 of the house, by missing the accustomed motion of the ves- 
 sel, or by all three combined, it matters not, but our antici- 
 pations of unbroken repose were cruelly disappointed. 
 
 The town of Alicante, in the province of Valencia, stands 
 close to the sea shore, overhung by a lofty rock some thou- 
 sand feet in height, crowned at its summit by a castle. 
 The streets were clean, and houses good, the flooring of the 
 rooms (if it may be so expressed) being composed of a kind 
 of porcelain, painted with various devices, well adapted to 
 the sultry climate. The fortifications appeared strong, but 
 an application on our part for permission to visit the castle 
 was refused, on the plea of state prisoners being confined 
 there. Part of the rock was blown up by the French in 
 the year 1701, at the conclusion of a siege of long duration, 
 in which the English were the defenders. The country in 
 the neighborhood is very fertile, and the olive trees are 
 remarkably fine. Salt is also made in the vicinity, and 
 exported from Torre-vieja. 
 
 Being in the habit of wearing our usual boating-dress, 
 (white jackets, white pantaloons, and straw hats,) when 
 landing at the different towns where we touched, we be- 
 came in consequence marked objects, and were frequently 
 saluted with the title of "locos Ingleses," (mad English- 
 
300 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 men,) and the anxiety of the female part of the community 
 to get a sight of persons thus honorably designated, was 
 very ludicrous. 
 
 While sauntering through the streets towards the close 
 of the afternoon, we encountered a rush of persons running 
 furiously in a direction opposite to that in which we were 
 moving, and on inquiring the reason, found they were retir- 
 ing from the unwelcome proximity of a bull, who, with a 
 long rope tied round his horns, held by a number of men at 
 some distance behind, was thus permitted to take his head- 
 long course. The unfortunate animal, maddened by the 
 blows and shouts of the pursuing population, tore fran- 
 ticly along, and before we well knew what we were about, 
 two of us were forced into a shop by the crowd, I being 
 left at the door in such a position that escape was out of 
 the question. On came the bull, stopping in front of the 
 very place at which I was posted, my comfort being in no 
 degree added to by the information (conveyed to me by 
 some kind friend inside) that the "toro" was a remarkably 
 savage one, and having already killed two real men, had 
 become so fastidious as utterly to scout the sham represent- 
 ations of the "genus homo," frequently lowered from the 
 windows of houses for his own especial amusement. Tak- 
 ing off my hat, the only offensive weapon I possessed, I was 
 prepared to strike him over the nose, when a native (a short 
 distance off) threw his cloak across the ground, and the bull 
 darting off in hot pursuit, I found myself extricated from 
 this unpleasant predicament. A pilot being engaged for 
 the voyage from Alicante to Barcelona, and to return with 
 us to the former town, we proceeded on our cruise between 
 ten and eleven at night, with a light north-westerly breeze, 
 and the following morning doubled Cape San Antonio, the 
 wind blowing strong from the south. A gale from the 
 eastward with a heavy sea (both of which moderated 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 301 
 
 towards evening) compelled us to put back to Denia, the 
 access to the anchorage being through a narrow channel 
 with sandbanks on either side, covered with a trifling depth 
 of water. Upon one of these the pilot ran us aground, 
 and had the weather continued as boisterous as daring the 
 early part of the day, the cutter must inevitably have gone 
 to pieces ; even as it was she struck hard, and we much 
 feared she would have sustained serious damage, but after 
 an hour's labor she was fortunately got off with only trifling 
 injury. On the first semblance of danger our " Palinurus" 
 commenced praying to his patron saint, a proceeding soon 
 put a stop to by our threatening to throw him overboard if 
 he did not instantly cease and assist the crew. By ten 
 o'clock we were safely anchored, and though the night was 
 dark, had a good view of the town and of the few vessels in 
 the roads by the glare of continued flashes of lightning. 
 The 13th dawned cloudlessly upon us, but the weather be- 
 ing stormy we remained in statu quo, and II- and B 
 
 went ashore, and paid their respects to the commandant, 
 who received them in bed, and upon being informed of the 
 nature of their expedition exclaimed, "None but English- 
 men could have undertaken it." 
 
 Denia, in the province of Valencia, lies under a rock or 
 mountain of great height. The town is a poor one, for the 
 sea having receded has almost destroyed the trade. In the 
 neighborhood, olive trees and vines flourish in profusion. 
 About two o'clock in the afternoon a sudden shift of wind 
 to the south-west caused us to lose no time in getting under 
 weigh, passing in the course of the day the towns or rather 
 villages of Almandrave, Olivas, Pilas, and Gandia. The 
 breeze continued in the same quarter all night, but a head 
 sea much impeded our progress, causing the cutter to pitch 
 heavily. The pilot expressed great anxiety lest a north- 
 east gale should come on, in which case he declared we must 
 
302 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 run back to Alicante, as he would not venture upon a second 
 attempt to make Denia. The native sailors dread the whole 
 of this part of the coast, as when the wind blows strong 
 from the quarter alluded to, a tremendous sea breaks with 
 unmitigated fury upon a long tract of sandy shore almost 
 destitute of any refuge, 
 
 Between twelve and one o'clock the following day, we 
 anchored at the Grao or port of Yalencia, during a gale 
 from the south-west, to the force of which it is much ex- 
 posed, and the yacht for a short time was in some little 
 jeopardy. Two strands of the cable parted soon after the 
 anchor took the ground, when a second was let go and ca- 
 ble veered upon each. The topmast was struck, bowsprit 
 run in upon deck, and hatches battened down. Finding 
 the cutter dragging, we had recourse to our third and 
 largest anchor, which fortunately brought us up within a 
 short distance of the breakers. To have worked out to sea 
 in the teeth of the gale would have been impossible, and 
 had we gone ashore, not much would have been left of the 
 poor little " Midge." 
 
 " A miss is as good as a mile," saith the proverb, and 
 the weather becoming moderate towards evening we took 
 up a more favorable berth, and landed between six and 
 seven o'clock. A " tartana," a kind of van without springs, 
 drawn by one horse, (the common conveyance of the coun- 
 try,) was put in requisition to take us to Yalencia, distant 
 about two miles, the road the whole way being planted on 
 either side with fine trees, producing a most delightful and 
 refreshing shade. Numbers of persons of both sexes, and 
 "tartanas" innumerable, were passing and repassing along 
 this agreeable drive. Being ignorant of the topography, 
 our "Jehu" was ordered to take us to the best hotel in the 
 town, upon which we found ourselves at the "Fonda de la 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 303 
 
 Paz," which he declared to be unequalled, though whether 
 such was the case or not, we had no time to discover. 
 
 Having refreshed the inner man, we sallied forth into the 
 streets, which were narrow, crooked, unpaved, and gloomy, 
 still retaining the character given by their Moorish possess- 
 ors, and the appearance of the natives at this day bears a 
 strong resemblance to that of the inhabitants of the oppo- 
 site coast. Numbers of women (whose complexion was 
 less swarthy than that of the men) were seated in the open 
 air pursuing their several avocations ; their heads uncovered, 
 and their hair fastened at the back with huge gilt pins. It 
 being too late in the day to visit the cathedral, we made 
 our way to the river Guadalaviar, at this time an insignifi- 
 cant stream, and so nearly dried up, that a market was held 
 in its bed. When swollen, however, by winter rains, it be- 
 comes an impetuous torrent, and the length of some of the 
 bridges (five in number) testifies its width, under these cir- 
 cumstances, to be very considerable. We much admired 
 the prospect from the Puente del Mar. Close at hand were 
 the walls of the town following the course of the river, the 
 bridges, ever picturesque objects, diverting the eye from its 
 uninteresting condition. Beyond were various roads lead- 
 ing to the " huerta," the latter clothed in perpetual verdure, 
 and brought by the marvellously perfect system of irrigation, 
 introduced by its ancient and maintained by its present pos- 
 sessors, into a state of fertility entitling it to the appellation 
 of the " Garden of Spain." 
 
 We proceeded thence to the " Glorieta," the fashionable 
 promenade of Yalencia, planted and provided with foun- 
 tains ; numbers of persons were here congregated, and the 
 " sefioritas " present appeared in no way inferior to those of 
 their countrywomen whom we had already met with, either 
 in personal charms or in their knowledge of displaying them 
 
304 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 to the best advantage. Here we remained a considerable 
 time, admiring the varied dress of the passing groups, our 
 own unsophisticated apparel contrasting strangely with the 
 butterfly costumes of the light-hearted crowd surrounding 
 us, to whom we in our turn were evidently objects of much 
 curiosity. It was late at night ere we sought repose, giv- 
 ing strict injunctions before doing so, that we should be 
 roused early in the morning, in order to waste as little as 
 possible of the short time we had it in our power to devote 
 to the inspection of this famous city. 
 
 By seven o'clock we were ready to commence our pere- 
 grinations, and, as a matter of course, bent our steps in the 
 first instance to the cathedral, the tower of which, stand- 
 ing separate from the main building, between one hundred 
 and sixty and one hundred and seventy feet in height, was as- 
 cended. From its summit was a splendid view of the adja- 
 cent plains, teeming with fertility, and producing in the 
 greatest profusion, corn, rice, and every description of food 
 for man and beast. Mulberry, orange, and palm trees, are 
 thickly spread throughout its whole extent, and we gazed, 
 and gazed, and gazed again upon the unsurpassable beauty 
 of the prospect, heightened and increased by the lustrous 
 brightness of a cloudless summer sky. The architecture of 
 the cathedral is partly Gothic ; on the back of the choir 
 (worked in alabaster) are representations of scriptural sub- 
 jects. The seats are handsomely carved ; behind the altar 
 are some curiously painted doors, and the church possesses 
 fine pictures by different artists. Hiring horses, we made 
 the circuit of the town, (the walls and some of the towers 
 of which are in excellent preservation,) and subsequently 
 effected a short excursion into the country, which fully real- 
 ized the expectations we had formed of its beauty from the 
 view obtained in the morning from the tower of the cathe- 
 dral. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 305 
 
 On returning from our ride, visited the " Plaza Santa 
 Catalina," El Mercado, the " Calle de Caballeros," and en- 
 tered a shop in which were sold that peculiar species of tile, 
 bearing the name of the town, which have been already al- 
 luded to, as being used instead of flooring. The blue and 
 purple colors were very rich, and the tile is expensive, owing 
 to the difficulty of bringing out a perfect article. Patios 
 surrounded by colonnades appeared almost as common to 
 the houses here as to those of Andalusia. The number and 
 importunity of the beggars of Valencia exceeded anything 
 we had met with, (even in this land of beggars,) for no 
 sooner was one set disposed of, than another swarm were 
 always ready to take their places. 
 
 Whilst reposing in our inn after the fatigues of the day, 
 a commotion in the street induced us to move towards 
 the window, to discover the cause of the uproar, when it 
 appeared that two men having quarrelled were proceeding 
 to settle their differences with the knife, when the bystand- 
 ers (among whom were some women) thought fit to inter- 
 fere. The violent gesticulations, flashing eyes, and bronzed 
 countenances of the parties concerned, reminded me strongly 
 of a fracas of a similar nature I had witnessed in Barbary, 
 swords being substituted for the weapons now used, and fe- 
 males being left out of the question. The combatants were 
 not easily pacified, and furious attempts at stabbing, parried 
 by the left arm wrapped in the " manta," had already been 
 made, when two or three of the softer sex threw themselves 
 upon the antagonists, completely frustrating their attempts 
 at mischief. The chattering that ensued (totally unintelli- 
 gible to us, the conversation being carried on in the patois 
 of the country) was perfectly deafening ; but at length the 
 principals, scowling, and muttering, as we were told, threats 
 of future vengeance, were led away in opposite directions, 
 by their respective friends ; the affair ending for the present, 
 
306 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 at all events, without bloodshed, but it afforded a fine spe- 
 cimen of the temperament of this excitable people, and the 
 insecurity and little value placed by them upon human life. 
 
 In the evening we repaired to the caf6 to eat ices and 
 amuse ourselves with watching the manners of the persons 
 there assembled. Gaiety and good humor were in the as- 
 cendant, and music occasionally lent its aid towards increas- 
 ing the harmony of the entertainment. Entering into con- 
 versation with some well-dressed persons near us, we found 
 that they supposed that all Englishmen came from London, 
 having an idea that London and England were synonymous, 
 while of the geography of many of the principal towns of 
 their own country, they possessed but little knowledge. They 
 were, however, extremely polite, insisting upon liquidating 
 the expense of our refreshment, (which compliment we re- 
 turned,) and after remaining till rather a late hour, we parted 
 with mutual expressions of good-will. 
 
 On the 16th of the month, no letters having arrived for 
 us from Gibraltar, we determined on proceeding to Barce- 
 lona. Hiring a tartana we returned to the Grao, embarked 
 on board the cutter about eleven o'clock, and gpt under 
 weigh at one, with a slight north-easterly breeze. Murvie- 
 dro, the ancient Saguntum, was sighted during the after- 
 noon, and as the wind freshened considerably towards night, 
 with a heavy swell from the eastward, and much lightning, 
 we reduced our canvas and struck the topmast. 
 
 The next morning, finding ourselves almost becalmed, 
 with what little air there was drawing to the south-west, all 
 sail was again made ; the heat was intense ; an universal 
 white glare overspread the sky, the wind had scarcely 
 strength to fill the sails, or ruffle the surface of the long 
 swells which heaved noiselessly around, and the general ap- 
 pearance of the atmosphere betokened an approaching 
 change. This unsatisfactory state of affairs continued till 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 307 
 
 towards evening, when the breeze gradually freshening, and 
 heavy, lurid clouds rising in masses to windward, gave warn- 
 ing that our anticipations were likely to be verified. The 
 gaft topsail was taken in, topmast struck, mainsail and fore- 
 sail close reefed, jibs shifted, mizen furled, hatches battened 
 down, and every preparation made to resist the fury of the 
 storm. 
 
 About six o'clock, gusts of wind, accompanied with vivid 
 lightning, and peals of thunder, announced that the war of 
 elements was about to commence. For about half an hour 
 after, it blew a steady gale, when in a short time a violent 
 squall compelled us to furl our mainsail, and scud under 
 bare poles. The sea was whirled aloft in foam and spray, 
 the air was one continued blaze of quivering, blinding light- 
 ning, the thunder rattled amid the blast, the wind whistled 
 through the rigging, the rain poured down in torrents, and 
 it seemed as if the demon of the tempest had exhausted all 
 its fury upon our devoted heads. Onwards flew the 
 " Midge/' almost rivalling its namesake in the vivacity of 
 its motions, and whilst passing Peniscola, (a conical rock, 
 surmounted with a castle,) during the height of the squall, 
 a schooner anchored close in shore hoisted a small English 
 ensign. The well-known color was hailed by us with de- 
 light, not that in case of mishap any assistance could have 
 been rendered, but it was cheering amidst the surrounding 
 turmoil to see our country's flag so proudly floating in the 
 howling storm. The fury of the wind abated as suddenly as 
 it had arisen, and sail being again made, we reached Yinaroz 
 between nine and ten, and anchored there for the night. 
 
 By three o'clock on the morning of the 18th, we were 
 again under weigh, with a moderate easterly breeze. The 
 river Ebro empties itself into the Mediterranean at the port 
 of Alfaques, about five-and-twenty miles from Yinaroz, 
 sand-banks rendering the coast in this neighborhood excess- 
 
308 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 ively dangerous. Towards evening the wind again changed 
 to the south-west, and soon after fell calm. 
 
 The pleasure of navigating the Mediterranean is frequent- 
 ly the theme of discourse, and the climate is certainly deli- 
 cious, but the winds are baffling, the sea short and broken 
 when blowing fresh, and the sudden alternations of calm 
 and storm, and storm and calm, must be experienced to be 
 thoroughly comprehended. From the dawn of the following 
 day till evening, light airs from the eastward prevailed, and 
 at intervals we toiled hard at the sweeps. Sunset was mag- 
 nificent. Sea and sky sparkled like gold, and as the orb of 
 day sunk into the western waves, columns of light (fit em- 
 blems of its departing glory) shot brilliantly across the 
 arch of heaven. When darkness closed around us, the 
 stars looked calmly down, veiling their modest beauty, when 
 with refulgent splendor a glorious moon rose solemnly o'er 
 the tranquil sea. Between eleven and twelve at night we 
 reached Barcelona, and as soon as the sails were furled and 
 everything made snug, all hands turned in, and in a few 
 minutes were lost in the regions of oblivion, for we had had 
 a hard day's work, and were much fatigued with the labor 
 of continual sweeping. Our slumbers, though profound, 
 were not destined to be of long duration, for soon after 
 dawn on the 20th, the thunder of a salute from a brig of 
 war, close to which we had anchored the night before, 
 roused us from repose. Landing about seven, we put up at 
 the Fonda de la Constancia, a second-rate house, but so 
 crowded was the town, from the numbers of people flocking 
 into it from the country to participate in the approaching 
 festivities, that we were fortunate in obtaining accommoda- 
 tion anywhere, and its situation moreover possessed the 
 advantage of being at no great distance from the harbor. 
 
 Starting very soon after breakfast upon an exploration 
 of this, the chief town of Cataluna, the change in the cos- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 309 
 
 tume of the peasantry immediately attracted our attention. 
 Long red woollen caps, one end hanging down the back of 
 the neck, (giving the appearance of bags,) very wide trou- 
 sers of dark-colored material reaching almost to the arm- 
 pits, a jacket (very short in the waist) generally thrown 
 over the shoulder, and a gorgeous sash, composed the dress 
 of the men. With the women, mantillas were at a discount, 
 handkerchiefs generally superseding them, and huge ear- 
 rings, some of them apparently of great value, seemed every- 
 where much in vogue. Of a fairer complexion than the 
 Andaluzas, they were as little to be compared to them in 
 grace and elegance of figure, as the cart-horse to the high- 
 bred, fine-limbed racer. The streets are narrow, but the 
 public promenades particularly fine. The principal one, the 
 Rambla, planted with trees, is the centre and great 
 thoroughfare of the town, and there are likewise Paseos 
 both on the land and sea sides, the latter being the resort 
 of the beauty and fashion of the place, who here congregate 
 to enjoy the freshness of the evening breeze ; and as the 
 northern stranger paces backward and forward, charmed 
 with the picturesque effect of the many-colored costumes, his 
 eye involuntarily wanders to the brilliant sky, the deep-blue 
 sea, and the indented coast, whose distant points are by the 
 clearness of the atmosphere brought as it were close within 
 his reach, and the conviction unwittingly forces itself upon 
 his mind, how far inferior is the climate of his own land of mist 
 and rain, to that of the sunny and beauteous south. The 
 walk round the ramparts abounds in beautiful views, em- 
 bracing mountains, highly cultivated plains, the fortification 
 of Monjuich, and the Mediterranean sea. In addition to 
 those already named, there are several others equally plea- 
 sant, and the superiority of Spanish over English towns 
 in this particular is very remarkable. The providing of 
 places of recreation, entirely open to the public, is a custom 
 
310 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OB, 
 
 worthy of imitation, for did .such exist in our own large 
 cities, the artisan population could resort thither when the 
 toil of the day was over, instead (as is too frequently the 
 case) of being compelled to seek for amusement in dens of 
 vice and infamy. The cathedral has two towers, from the 
 top of which is a splendid view of the neighboring country. 
 The painted glass in the windows is rich in the extreme, 
 and the screen (ornamented with purple and gold, with a 
 column of red marble on either side, crowned with an angel 
 holding a torch) has a fine effect. Some sculptured figures 
 with large scissors and boots attracting our attention, we 
 were informed that in days of yore the tailors and shoe- 
 makers had been of great service to the cathedral, and that 
 these images had been put up in honor of them. There are 
 several other churches, but we did not visit them. 
 
 After wandering about all day, we proceeded on board 
 the cutter, giving orders that she should be hove down, her 
 bottom examined, and her rigging thoroughly set up. Bar- 
 celoneta is an ugly suburb, inhabited by an amphibious race 
 of beings, of every genus connected with the sea. The 
 harbor is large, protected from storms by a mole of con- 
 siderable length, and from hostile aggression by the citadel 
 and a smaller fort, both of which are commanded by Mon- 
 juich. A few coasting and other vessels, with two Spanish 
 brigs of war, and three or four guarda costas, comprised the 
 whole of the shipping then anchored there. Having (in the 
 evening) passed an hour on the " Muralla del Mar," we ad- 
 journed to a cafe, and spent a short time there very agree- 
 ably, making acquaintance with some officers of a regiment 
 of Royal Guards stationed at Barcelona, whom we found 
 gentlemanly and well-informed. The hill of Monjuich, 
 about a mile from the town, crowned with the fort of that 
 name, is approached by a zig-zag road, and though the 
 ascent is steep, the magnificent view of the Mediterranean, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 311 
 
 and of the city beneath, amply repays the trouble. The 
 fortifications are very strong, and if well provisioned, ade- 
 quately garrisoned, and firmly defended, are from their po- 
 sition almost impregnable. Our request to examine the 
 works was civilly refused, so retracing our steps, we made 
 a detour to visit what is supposed to have been the Jews' 
 burying-ground, but found nothing to reward our curiosity, 
 save some large stones, with unintelligible inscriptions. 
 
 An early opportunity was taken of seeing the guards un- 
 der arms ; and a fine-looking corps they were, well dressed, 
 and well appointed, but their movements wanted the regu- 
 larity and steadiness of those of English troops. Individu- 
 ally, they were stalwart men, containing the raw material 
 of excellent soldiers, and were smarter in their appearance 
 off duty than any infantry we had hitherto met with in the 
 country. The undress of the officers, blue coatees, and 
 cocked hats bound with silver lace, had an exceedingly neat 
 effect. The principal public buildings are the Exchange, 
 the Foundry, the Captain-General's Palace, and the Casa 
 de Caridad. The language spoken by the natives is a 
 patois, in which villainously pronounced French is discerni- 
 ble, and falls harshly and unpleasantly on the ear. 
 
 On the morning of the 22d, B started, per diligence, 
 
 for Perpignan, en route for England, and in the evening, 
 
 R, and I attended the theatre, and found the acting 
 
 and dancing very indifferent. The expected order for com- 
 mencing the ceremonies in honor of the young Queen hav- 
 ing arrived, the festivities commenced on the 24th by 
 figures of the King, Queen, and the little Isabella, ele- 
 gantly attired, being placed on a highly decorated platform 
 in front of the Captain-General's residence, and were wel- 
 comed by thousands of spectators with loud "vivas," 
 though at the same time many present were of opinion that 
 Don Carlos had been hardly dealt with, the repeal of the 
 
312 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Salic law having been obtained by the artifices of Christina. 
 A strong guard of soldiers was present to keep order, and 
 add importance to the pageant. Troops of maskers, repre- 
 senting dragons, horses, bears, and outlandish figures of 
 every description, accompanied with bands of music, paraded 
 the streets, and afforded much amusement by their grotesque 
 appearance. In the evening a salute was fired from all the 
 batteries, from Monjuich, and from the ships of war ; the 
 cafes were thronged, and hundreds were abroad till a late 
 hour. The following day the captain-geueral and the au- 
 thorities proceeded to the cathedral to take the oath of 
 allegiance to the young Queen, presents of clothes being 
 afterwards distributed to numerous indigent persons, the 
 town presenting a most animated appearance, from the 
 numbers of the peasantry in holiday garb, moving in every 
 direction, and the active preparations going forward on all 
 sides for a general illumination, which was to commence at 
 ten at night. At the appointed hour a glare of light blazed 
 forth, and much taste was displayed in the arrangements, the 
 devices in several instances being very beautiful. Amongst 
 the most remarkable was a triumphal arch at the barracks 
 of the guards, composed of variegated lamps, and allegori- 
 cal representations similarly formed were placed in front of 
 the Exchange and the " Real Palacio." The trees in the 
 public walks glittered with tiny lamps suspended amid their 
 branches, the fronts of the houses were covered with white 
 linen festooned with flowers, arches composed of evergreens 
 spanned the streets, temporary fountains played at short 
 intervals, songs were chanted in honor of the occasion, 
 music sent forth its dulcet strains, pleasure was depicted in 
 every face, and what with the brilliant moon and stars 
 above, and the glittering scene below, the sight accorded 
 more with the representation of a fairy tale than with the 
 sober reality of real life. Fun and merriment lasted all 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 313 
 
 night, and early morning had arrived ere we could make up 
 our minds to retire to our hotel. A sham fight taking 
 place the ensuing evening, the consul procured for us tick- 
 ets of admission to the Mole, which was set apart for the 
 convenience of respectable spectators. A fort mounting 
 three guns was attacked by a division of boats, covered by 
 the fire of two large guafda costas. The assailants made 
 good their landing, but after a short conflict were supposed 
 to be repulsed, and retreated to their boats, the guarda 
 costas standing close in to protect them whilst retiring. It 
 was but a paltry exhibition, and little merited the applause 
 bestowed upon it by the admiring natives. I had a long 
 conversation with the' French consul, who, upon my point- 
 ing out the boat in which we had come from the Rock, ex- 
 pressed great surprise, and said that officers of the French 
 army would never have attempted anything of the kind ; 
 but, added he, " Englishmen are born half sailors." 
 
 On the 27th, at ten o'clock, was a miserable performance 
 ycleped a regatta, and at four in the afternoon a tourna- 
 ment. A large wooden amphitheatre was erected for the 
 purpose, and was crowded from the lowest to the highest 
 seats. The knights clad in armor (which some persons 
 near us declared was tin) tilted at each other, but their 
 efforts to unhorse their adversaries (if such was their inten- 
 tion) were very ridiculous. By some regulation unknown 
 to us, one of the performers was declared the victor, and 
 was conducted to a lady personating the " Queen of Beau- 
 ty," who crowned him with laurel. Courses were then run 
 at the figure of a man working on a pivot, holding a large 
 sand-bag in one of its hands. If struck fairly with the 
 lance, it spun round, and the attacking party escaped un- 
 touched ; if otherwise, he received a tremendous buffet 
 which last one or two only escaped. This caused great 
 diversion^ and the unfortunate ones were greeted with roars 
 
 14 
 
314 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 of laughter and every imaginable epithet of ridicule. This 
 closed the rejoicings in honor of an ordinance which has 
 since caused rivers of blood to flow in unhappy Spain. But 
 three weeks of our leave remained, and anticipating a long 
 voyage back to Gibraltar, on account of the prevalence of 
 westerly winds, on the 28th we put to sea on our return 
 home, and, after successive alternations of head winds, fair 
 winds, strong breezes and calms, during the former of which 
 we sustained a trifling damage, anchored at Alicante, on 
 the afternoon of the 2d of July, the only incident worthy 
 of record being that, while scudding before a smart gale off 
 
 Cape San Antonio, R roused me from my watch below 
 
 to say that, although no clouds were to be seen, the moon 
 ' had gradually disappeared, and that he could not account 
 for it. Of the reason I was equally ignorant, when, soon 
 after discovering the fair " Luna" again making her appear- 
 ance from behind the shadow that had concealed her, the 
 conviction at once flashed upon our minds that an eclipse 
 (totally unexpected by us) must necessarily have taken 
 place. 
 
 On the 3d, we were again under weigh with a fresh 
 north-easterly breeze, and having every prospect of weather- 
 ing Cape de Gat without difficulty ; but on the 5th, when 
 within a short distance of the desired point, we encountered 
 a gale from the west, which drove us back between thirty 
 and forty miles to Aguillas, which we reached at night. 
 During the 6th, and greater part of the 7th, it blew so 
 strong that we could not venture from our shelter, but in 
 the evening of the latter day, a light easterly breeze induced 
 us once more to put to sea, for we were anxious not to over- 
 stay our leave, and determined to make every effort to 
 double the troublesome Cape. Soon after we sailed, the 
 wind again chopped round to the westward, but after beat- 
 ing till the morning of the 9th, a gale from the east sent us 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 315 
 
 past the Cape, the cutter plunging bows under on meeting 
 the heavy sea caused by the previous westerly breeze. Our 
 mast being sprung, it was fished with one of the sweeps, 
 and when clear of the land, a square sail was hoisted, and 
 we scudded till night, when the weather gradually became 
 cairn ; but, owing to contrary winds, we did not reach Ma- 
 laga till the night of the llth. Strong westerly gales com- 
 pelled us to remain at anchor during the 12th and 13th, 
 but on the evening of the 14th we got under weigh with a 
 light easterly breeze, which changed to the west ere morn- 
 ing, when we beat up for the anchorage of Fuengirola. 
 Sailed on the 16th, and on the 18th of July we rounded 
 Europe Point, the band of our own regiment (at drill on 
 the Flats) sounding sweetly far above us in the morning 
 air. On standing out into the bay, a gun was fired to draw 
 attention to the cutter, and anchoring at the " Old Mole," 
 about eight A. M., we recieved pratique, and went ashore on 
 the twentieth day after sailing from Barcelona. Thus ended 
 the " cruise of the Midge." That whilst at sea we were in 
 a constant state of watchfulness and sqme little anxiety, 
 can hardly be doubted. But we were young, active and 
 light-hearted, careless of the present and reckless of the 
 future. Those were joyous days, to which memory fondly 
 recurs, regarding them with the eye of retrospection as green 
 oases in the desert of life's weary pilgrimage. 
 
MR, SNIGSBY'S YACHT. 
 
 BY THE AUTHOR OP " SINGLETON FONTENOY," ETC. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 WELL, my dear," said Mr. Snigsby, "what do you pro- 
 pose to do ?" This was asked with the sweetest com- 
 placency, for Mr. Snigsby was well aware that his wife had 
 no possible suggestion to make. 
 
 " I think we must just stop on board that's all," said 
 his wife, with sharpness. 
 
 " Why that, my dear, seems pretty obvious. I am in- 
 formed that in trespassing on shore when in quarantine, you 
 are liable to be shot." 
 
 " I wish I was," ejaculated Alfred, gloomily. 
 
 Mr. Snigsby paced the deck with his hands in his pockets, 
 jingling his loose cash, according to custom. The yacht 
 was moored at a buoy, not very far from the Parlatorio. 
 That establishment will be long remembered hy all who 
 have been in quarantine in Malta. The tabooed human 
 beings lean against a bar a quarantine officer marches in 
 the centre on the other side mankind at large are permit- 
 ted to hold converse with you. If you want refreshments, 
 as of course you do, you pop the money into a little tub of 
 water held to you for the purpose. It was a great specta- 
 cle to see the Snigsbys lounging about there in the morn- 
 ings, or playing quoits in the quarantine ground. To be 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 31? 
 
 sure it was preposterously hot, but at it father and son 
 regularly went, while Mrs. Snigsby stood by and watched 
 them. 
 
 Meanwhile, Mr. Blobb the skipper's frame of mind was 
 something which induced him to compare himself and 
 surely he knew best to " a bear with a sore head." This 
 is a favorite illustration among nautical men. He slept a 
 good deal, and also swore a little, and continually com- 
 plained of the heat. No wonder Mr. Snigsby's bottled 
 stout kept bursting faster than ever, from that very cause. 
 It happened, as might have been expected, about the hot- 
 test time of the day and, as has previously been hinted, 
 usually about the hour of BlobVs lunch. Mr. Snigsby had 
 his misgivings, but he was considerably in awe of the skip- 
 per. That awe had gradually increased during the voyage ; 
 for Mr. Blobb, having very soon discovered that they "was 
 not regular swells," had taken measures for making himself 
 of immense importance on board. He was an old yachts- 
 man, and had sailed under most specimens of the yachting 
 tribe in the Sylph, for instance, with a sturdy old yacht- 
 ing dowager, who was a better sailor than many post cap- 
 tains who would ring her bell in the night to know why 
 the gaff-topsail was not taken off her, (the yacht I mean,) 
 and who always made Blobb pay for tha spars he lost. 
 His cruise with that " old woman of the sea" (who would 
 have made a good wife for the famous persecutor of Sinbad) 
 dwelt in his memory long. She was the widow of Admiral 
 Slumton, K.K.B., and had lived many a year on board her 
 Majesty's ships and vessels of war, pleasantly enjoying the 
 cream of naval life on the various stations where Slumton 
 had had commands. Blobb suffered terribly on board her 
 vessel, and finally had a desperate quarrel with her having 
 lost overboard her wig, which she had sent on deck to be 
 dressed by her very ugly domestic. Then he had sailed the 
 
318 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Whelp for a young gentleman who took it into his head to 
 take all the charge on himself, and superseded Blobb, till they 
 were caught in the Gulf of Lyons by a tremendous gale, 
 and the young gentleman was found on his knees in among 
 his patent leather boots. Accordingly, he was a regular 
 old stager, and often, when the Snigsbys sat down to a 
 more delicate fowl than usual, the villain would set the big 
 jib as he expressed it with motives so disgraceful that I 
 decline to expatiate on them. A pretty thing indeed 
 fowls to dinner to a person of his station of life ! Such 
 was the reflection of Mrs. Snigsby to her husband one day 
 after Blobb had requested permission to kill a couple of 
 chickens for, of course, the Snigsbys now felt inclined to 
 look down on the " lower orders." Everybody who rises in 
 this country cuts and snubs the class he came from. We 
 are all seemingly becoming " higher orders" together, so 
 that by and by, society will be like the giant's castle, built 
 on the Jop of a bean-stalk a structure that must, of course, 
 get more shaky the loftier and more pretentous it becomes. 
 Well, days wore on, and the quarantine people gave the 
 yacht some grace, and allowed them to haul down the yel- 
 low flag before the time. The fact was, this was suggested 
 to the authorities by little Grigg, the busybody of the island, 
 who discovered, with considerable tact, that the Snigsbys 
 were people with money, and took care to be introduced, 
 and to let them know to whose interference they owed their 
 premature escape. The family now established themselves in 
 very nice rooms in StradaKeale, that imposing street where 
 the pavement looks so white and hot in the summer where 
 the Maltese girls go tripping along with their mantillas flow- 
 ing and his Excellency the Cardinal rolls by in a hideously 
 ugly carriage and military men saunter, and naval men 
 walk, and Turks stroll, and priests glide monotonously in a 
 pace different from all. Malta is the great olla podrida of 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 319 
 
 taankind. All varieties of races get mixed in that dish 
 Some ingenuity would be required to determine the propor- 
 tions of the social mess ; but the English mercantile classes 
 represent the beef wandering artists the more tender and 
 luxuriant fowl naval and military men the game, (a little 
 high, sometimes,) the natives the malodorous garlic and 
 Jesuits the titillating pepper I On the whole it is an agree- 
 able compound if your appetite is vigorous. 
 
 The Snigsbys, I say, perched themselves comfortably in 
 Strada Reale, and there they looked round about, and then 
 at each other in an inquiring way. They were now abroad, 
 there could be no doubt of that, and why, now they must 
 begin to enjoy it. But the first stare some English people 
 give under these simple circumstances is odd enough ; they 
 seem to peer round with a sort of idea that they ought 
 to be somehow or other inspired. There is a disagreeable 
 air of " Is this all 1" about them, made still more ludicrous 
 by their assumption of a contrary style of language. How 
 often must we preach the codum non animuml My dear 
 Mr. Snigsby, how could you expect to be touched by the 
 tombs of the Knights of St. John's, when nothing but your 
 pocket (on the demand of 6d.) was ever touched by the 
 tombs in your own Westminster Abbey? However, they 
 began at all events to get into " society " in time. For to 
 begin with, they secured the good graces of the little fat 
 pompous parson of St. Kilderkin. The card of the Rever- 
 end Mr. Fatton was sent up one morning, and the reverend 
 gentleman himself followed it, bowed, took a chair, crossed 
 his legs, and holding his hat on his knees, kept himself with 
 one eye on Mr. and one on Mrs. Snigsby, so as to secure 
 both, while " My son, sir," Alfred, sat uneasily on the sofa, 
 fumbling the " Racing Calendar." Mr. Fatton's business 
 was ushered in by a " hem," and " doubtless Mr. Snigsby 
 was acquainted with the depressed state of the Protestant 
 
320 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OB, 
 
 Church in the island ?" Our friend had certainly never be*- 
 come acquainted with anything of the sort, and glancing 
 with the eye of a man of business at the prosperous appear- 
 ance of Mr. Fat ton, could not at first imagine the possibility 
 of it. But he felt he was very likely to expose his igno- 
 rance if he demurred, so he bowed blandly and rubbed his 
 hands with an air of acquiescence, Mr. Fatton bowed also, 
 and went on to talk of the *' abomination of desolation," 
 and the machinations of the Jesuits, and, in fact, the sub- 
 scription list far the new Protestant Church of Malta, now 
 being built on the " Rock of Ages," as he expressed it, and 
 at a considerable expense. (Indeed, Malta had recently 
 been blessed with a bishop who had been received with 
 " manned yards/ 7 and a salute with considerably more 
 honor indeed than St. Paul was in the same island.) Mr. 
 Snigsby heard the orator with attention, glanced at his 
 wife, went to his desk and subscribed with munificence. Mr. 
 Fatten was charmed, begged to make Mr. and Mrs. Snigsby 
 acquainted with some of his friends. Cards dropped in, and 
 the Snigsbys went out a good deal, and attended the fashion- 
 able movements ; saw the sailors landed to drill in the morn- 
 ings, which was a freak of the new admiral's, which gave a 
 few gentlemen in the squadron an opportunity of galloping 
 about like dragoons ; attended Florian gardens, and " stopped 
 the way " at the opera in the evening. Then, there were 
 quiet solid dinners, at which Mr. Snigsby chatted over the 
 " currency " with mercantile men, the reduction of the dol- 
 lar, the rise of the dollar, and so forth for Malta is a mini- 
 ature England in business as in pleasure, has its own cur- 
 rency, and gets into commercial convulsions about two pence. 
 So, the Snigsbaean existence went on very pleasantly for a 
 while, scarcely jarred even by the singular conduct of a pri- 
 vate in the Tralee Raffs, who, being comfortably drunk, and 
 seeing Mr. Snigsby's door open, tumbled up stairs unper- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 321 
 
 ceived, and coolly turned into bed in the connubial chamber. 
 That misguided man was discovered by the astonished Mr. 
 Snigsby, in the evening, and subsequently duly punished. 
 
 One regrets to reflect, however, that all this time Mr. 
 Alfred Snigsby was finding things very " slow." How 
 could he be expected to relish the discussions on the " cur- 
 rency " a word which simply suggested laughter to a dis- 
 ciple of the school of Brickies. He had come out to the 
 Mediterranean with the feeling of those who, as Punch said 
 the other day, think " the Mediterranean is not to be made 
 a French lake its proper vocation being that of English 
 pond." He thought all enthusiasm about antiquities, and 
 so forth, "humbug." Indeed Brickies, his idol, had tra- 
 velled, and published a work, pooh-poohing the Pyramids, 
 and snubbing the Acropolis, and conveying much such a 
 notion of the East as one would be likely to get of the 
 North from an alert inmate of that department of the 
 Zoological Gardens where the Simia3 dwelt. Alfred had, 
 accordingly, no sympathy with anything but such amuse- 
 ment as the island could afford to a man of London tastes ; 
 and all such people must have remarked how miserably infe- 
 rior foreigners are to us in civilization. You may range 
 Constantinople or Smyrna for nights without ever finding a 
 place where you can get a chop and hear a " comic song ;" 
 at Athens, a friend of mine " out on the loose" at night, 
 was nearly eaten alive by the dogs that howl dismally there. 
 It was melancholy to see Alfred " mooning," as he called it, 
 about the streets in the forenoon, sometimes peering in at 
 the churches, and then slinking away " bored," afraid to go 
 home, lest Mr. Fatton should be prosing there, and sick of 
 the yacht, which was lying, looking trim and empty, near 
 the Dockyard Creek. Blobb's conversation (even had Mrs. 
 Snigsby not warned her son against being too familiar with 
 his inferiors) was somewhat monotonous, and Blobb now 
 
 14* 
 
322 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 usually spent great part of the day in playing skittles at a 
 homely pastoral public-house called the " Shepherd and 
 Shepherdess," on the Burmola side of the harbor. Alfred, 
 in a word, was hipped. 
 
 But fortune had something in store for the youth, an 
 excitement for that noble heart and brain. One morning 
 he had just " toiled" (the reader must pardon one more of 
 his expressions) out to saunter as usual, when he saw in the 
 distance a lady, at the sight of whom he involuntarily plucked 
 up his collar, and thought of his studs. She was, as re- 
 garded looks, apparently too dark for an English woman, 
 and too light for a Southern ; she walked with an easy, per- 
 fectly self-possessed manner, looking in at the shop windows 
 every now and then. Mr. Alfred involuntarily exclaimed 
 to himself (for there is such a process, though I agree 
 with Theodore Hook in thinking "mentally ejaculated" 
 ridiculous,) "What a stunner I" He carelessly crossed the 
 street and strutted after her. She paused at a shop. 
 Alfred paused. She glanced towards him, and met his eye. 
 Hers was a clear straight look, not likely to be startled by 
 the amount of expression which nature had bestowed on 
 Alfred's, but he fancied he saw something encouraging in it. 
 Accordingly, he followed her once more, saw her turn down 
 one of the streets leading from Strada Reale in the direc- 
 tion of the Quarantine Harbor, and enter a house. We 
 may be sure he booked the number. I suppose all men 
 have experienced what a relief anything in the shape of au 
 attachment is, if one is at one's wit's end for something to 
 do ; really it is quite a luxury, if one has something to think 
 about, but Alfred in this case was transported.. Here was 
 a chance for him at last. He felt that he might do some- 
 thing now really " fast." Should she only be the new singer 
 expected at the Opera ! Your gentlemen of the Brickies 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 323 
 
 and Alfred Snigsby school, we may remark, have always 
 the most extraordinary interest in theatrical women in pre- 
 ference to others. They are moths that will hover round 
 the foot-lights. This is vice, doubtless ; but it is a pitiable 
 vice that has a dash of snobbery in it. A few names that 
 disgrace the aristocracy, are associated with a few names 
 that disgrace the stage. Now, Brickies & Co. like Trip 
 in the School for Scandal, their type must imitate their 
 superiors' vice. Hence their follies and their intrigues. 
 Our friend Alfred, for instance, when in London, would 
 have made as much hubbub about a little pug-nosed girl 
 in the Covent Garden ballet as if she had been a Font- 
 anges. But to return. He loitered about the house in the 
 Strada Sotta, glancing at the windows saw the lady ap- 
 pear at one looked up met her look again. There were 
 no signs of anybody else about the establishment. It was 
 a dull, quiet street, a long narrow one, at the end of which 
 the water gleamed in a patch, as if seen through a tele- 
 scope. He moved away presently, and went home, where 
 he was sadly distrait during dinner-time. His father essayed 
 to brighten him up, by asking him what curiosities of the 
 island he had yet visited for Mr. Snigsby, though sadly 
 bored by " interesting" remains, faithfully visited them, and 
 Mrs. Snigsby went further, and earnestly tried to like them, 
 though both of them affected an edifying indifference to the 
 splendors of the " idolatrous" churches. Alfred had little to 
 say. That same evening he sought the enchanted street 
 again ; the lady was seated at the same window, which was 
 half open, to let in the cool air during that delicious Medi- 
 terranean hour when the weight of the heat being lifted off 
 the earth, all the freshness and the sweetness rise up every- 
 where, like perfume from a vase of rose-leaves when the lid 
 is removed. Alfred sauntered past, mildly humming an 
 
324 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 operatic reminiscence. The figure moved, and what was his 
 delight when he heard a piano, and a rich brilliant voice 
 begin ! 
 
 Days passed, and to the best of Alfred's belief, he was a 
 favored man. At last it struck him, that he would make 
 an experiment, which, if successful, would rank him among 
 the most accomplished men of his school. The magic win- 
 dow was open, apparently, so late ; it was not very high. 
 Other figures, than that of the beauty, he had never seen 
 there. The street was silence itself. What a fine thing it 
 would be to scale the window by a ladder 1 He had seen 
 Miss Deloraine (nee Snogg) do it, in blue silk trousers and 
 a doublet, in Brickies 7 burlesque of Jonah's Gourd; or Cut 
 and Come Again. It would be tedious to narrate all his 
 musings on this project. He made up his mind to try it, 
 and having, by a judicious use of cash, procured two faith- 
 ful Maltese, who were to bring a ladder at eleven P. M., or 
 so, to the neighboring corner, he fixed his evening, and 
 awaited the hour. About nine he rose from the sofa, where 
 he had been affecting to doze after dinner. 
 
 " Where are you going, Alf. V said his mamma. 
 
 " Just for a walk in the cool. It is too hot here. Good 
 night." 
 
 He gained the street, and marched along just a little 
 cold about the heart, as if there was an ice-poultice there, 
 drawing the "pluck" away from it. It was not his time 
 yet, (but how could he have gone out with propriety much 
 later?) and so he turned into a cafe. In the billiard-room 
 there, a company of seedy, bearded individuals were play- 
 ing the Russian game. He sat on the benches at the side, 
 drinking negus and watching them ; there was a novelty in 
 the color of the balls and the mode of play which interested 
 him ; and then, you know, to be up to the Russian game 
 would look very well, by and by, at Pott's billiard-rooms. 
 
FuN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 325 
 
 in the Strand. He finished the negus ; he took some brandy 
 and water ; he began to feel rather like a Lovelace, and to 
 be somewhat proud of his meditated exploit. He sallied 
 forth though to be sure he had a little qualm, partly fear, 
 partly something else, as having to pass the family lodgings 
 he saw a light in his mother's bed-room, where, I suppose, 
 Mrs. Snigsby was putting on her night-cap before the look- 
 ing glass. This emotion, however, was very temporary. On 
 he went. He passed one cafe, just closing, and could not 
 resist a final little dose of brandy. At last he was in the 
 street. The window was open ; there was a faint light in 
 the room. He found his ladder in its place. He thought 
 for an instant of everything that had encouraged him to his 
 resolution, and slowly moved the instrument a decently 
 light one from the ground. At the very first start he 
 nearly jun it through a parlor window, but he moved with 
 more caution. A moment, and it was in its destined place. 
 His foot was on the lowest step. 
 
 At this moment who should arrive at the end of the 
 street but the "Infant Phenomenon," Mr. Herbert Flower, 
 of the " Intolerable !" He was accompanied by an ac- 
 quaintance, Yelourby, of the " Bustard 1" These two 
 young gentlemen, after having been riding out all the 
 afternoon, had been dining at the Clarendon, had played 
 billiards, and supped on quails, and were now open to any 
 amusement that anybody might have to offer them. Flow- 
 er's eye caught the ladder in an instant. 
 
 " I say, Yelourby, look there ! Stop a minute, the fel- 
 low's getting up. Let us stick at the corner and watch I" 
 
 Alfred mounted his long legs looking ludicrous enough 
 and commenced the ascent. When he reached the window 
 there was nobody in the room. He felt very like a burglar. 
 However, he quietly got in. There was a small lamp burn- 
 ing on the table, and near it lay a sheet of music. 
 
326 . SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 But by this time Mr. Flower had reached the spot. 
 " Gad," he said to Yelourby, " here's a lark." 
 
 " Let's take away the ladder," said Yelourby, " and he 
 won't be able to get down again." 
 
 Flower laughed, but the ladder looked quite tempting, 
 and he immediately began ascending it himself. Mr. Al- 
 fred's astonishment was immense when his head appeared at 
 the open window. Open flew the door, however, and in 
 rushed a stout old gentleman armed with a large stick, and 
 followed by two or three servants. Alfred involuntarily 
 assumed the attitude of the Chelsea Snob. The old gen- 
 tleman flew towards the window, catching Mr. Flower just 
 within a step or two of the top. 
 
 " Good evening, sir," said Mr. Flower, taking off his hat 
 with immense coolness. " You seem to keep open house !" 
 
 Two servants rushed at Alfred, who gave the first of 
 them what he subsequently described as " a mouse under 
 the left eye." The stick wildly flourished over the " Phe- 
 nomenon," but he ran down two steps, turned inside the 
 ladder, and came down " hand over hand." The police 
 were beginning to assemble, and the " Phenomenon" and his 
 friend disappeared. But Mr. Alfred, after prodigies of 
 valor, was taken prisoner, and locked up. 
 
 " His mother looked from her lattice high" 
 
 in vain for him the next morning, but Mr. Snigsby was 
 summoned by a forlorn note to the Court, and purchased 
 the youth's freedom on payment of a fine. 
 
 Mrs. Snigsby did not quite understand the affair. " Fun 
 is fun, my dear boy," said the excellent woman, " but what 
 did you expect to find in the house ?" 
 
 Alfred looked foolish. Mr. Snigsby pulled up his neck- 
 cloth with a significant "hem." "My dear," he said, "let 
 us be very glad that the afifair is settled as it is." 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 327 
 
 "Yes, but it seems so odd, such a strange kind of 
 whim - " 
 
 " My dear," said Mr. Snigsby, "your innocent mind 
 
 Mrs. Snigsby felt that there was patronage in the tone 
 of the observation. " Innocent ! Mr. Snigsby ; I don't 
 know that I'm more innocent than my neighbors, and - " 
 
 Her husband gave a hearty city laugh. " Neither, 
 madam, is your son and heir 1" And Snigsby, for once, 
 had the best of it. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 ALFRED in his agitation had not recognised Herbert 
 Flower as the young gentleman to whose hoax the yacht 
 owed her quarantine. Herbert Flower had recognised him, 
 however, for that officer was not likely to be disturbed in 
 his vision by circumstances of danger. In fact, he was a 
 fellow of great pluck, and had distinguished himself on the 
 coast, from no wish to distinguish himself to be sure, but 
 there was a sort of excitement about capturing slavers, 
 which he rather liked. When he returned, he had taken 
 lodgings in London, drawn his prize money, and started a 
 brougham. It is supposed that he meant to go down to 
 the parental abode in the country by-and-by, but his father 
 visited London in the interim, and found out his where- 
 abouts in the oddest manner. The old gentleman was re- 
 turning to his hotel from the theatre, when he passed 
 through a street apparently in a high state of animation. 
 A building flaring with lamps, and from which the wild 
 clamor of a polka resounded, was the focus of attraction. 
 Among many cabs was a small row of broughams, with 
 their drivers nodding on the boxes, and one old yellow 
 family carriage, which some youth had disgracefully brought 
 while the family were out of town, and which stood there a 
 
328 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 forlorn protest of respectability against the surrounding 
 scene. Mr. Flower was somewhat hustled and almost 
 pushed against the broughams, when his eye caught, on 
 decidedly the newest of them, a well-known symbol. He 
 gazed on the panels and saw nothing more nor less than a 
 shield, argent, semee of roses barbed and seeded, ppr : crest, a 
 lion sejant, holding in its mouth a fleur-de-lis motto, Olet, ut 
 sold. Mr. Flower well knew that no one dared assume that 
 brilliant coat but a Flower of Flory. He woke the coach- 
 man, who answered to his question that his master's name 
 was Mr. Herbert Flower. The youth appeared shortly 
 afterwards, delighted to see him, of course, and next day 
 was taken down to the country in triumph. Mr. Flower 
 has since learned that the place was called the Casino, but 
 has not yet been able to find the word in any dictionary. 
 Is it generally known, I wonder? 
 
 A few days after Alfred's adventure in Strada Sotta, he 
 was strutting out, keeping very clear of the scene of the 
 ladder feat, when he entered a billiard-room. The usual 
 party were playing pool there ; the Italian count with the 
 white beard, that fine old man, with a bevy of youngsters 
 round him (a scene which my friend Fontenoy used to say 
 could be excellently described by one line from Don Juan : 
 
 " A band of children round an aged ram !") 
 
 a mate or two, and Ludder of the Marines. Poor Ludder ! 
 To be without fortune and to be unable to live without lux- 
 uries to make billiards help one's poverty, and games of 
 amusement pay one's washerwoman to be sneered at by men 
 who never note any want in a man but a want of money 
 to have a dubious civility from the very marker, who has 
 heard the whispers of the smokers, and esteems the poor 
 gentleman, who plays so well, as little beter than himself ! 
 what a destiny yours was ! There are no tragedies like 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 329 
 
 those of civilization ; no lot so bitter as to have to make 
 both ends meet, by helping them with a little bit of the 
 heartstrings. 
 
 There Ludder was, as usual, with his pale, half-anxious 
 face, as Alfred came in, just resting the cue. Click. A 
 " life " is gone. Jenner bites his lips ; he had lost at several 
 successive games. 
 
 " Oh, I can't do anything," he muttered, looking sulky. 
 
 " Why play, then ?" said Ludder, quietly. 
 
 " Why do you ?" asked Jenner, with a sneer. 
 
 Ludder looked up for a moment, but his face was calm ; 
 he chalked his cue, and hummed. The markers exchanged 
 glances the game went on quietly. Both Alfred and Her- 
 bert Flower, who was sitting on the side sofa, watching the 
 tables, with a cigar in his mouth, looked up at the same mo- 
 ment. Their eyes met ; Alfred began to recognise him 
 slowly, but Flower had heard rumors of the Snigsbssan hos- 
 pitality. He went over to Alfred at once, and said : 
 
 " I made a sad mistake, t'other day, about that brigan- 
 tine ! Hem, you see, the fact is, these brigantines are 
 the devil !" 
 
 Alfred had all a " knowing " man's misgivings that he was 
 being humbugged, but there was a good-natured look in 
 Flower's face, and Flower was a naval man, and Alfred 
 wanted to know naval men, and military men ; Brickies 
 himself had a turn that way, and sang funny songs, and told 
 anecdotes at the Guards' mess, and took a vacant seat in a 
 drag, when they asked him, &c. so he accepted Herbert's 
 overtures with civility, and Herbert took him off to Joe 
 Micallef s to supper, and introduced him, as " my- friend 
 Snigsby," to a few other luminaries. 
 
 There they sat and " chaffed'- 7 the fat and jovial Joe, and 
 made him cook some quails, and soon got very friendly. 
 Alfred asked three of them to dinner, and they came very 
 
330 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 punctually indeed, and were very splendidly entertained. 
 Mr. Snigsby even apologized for his uncourteousness on the 
 occasion of Mr. Flower's official visit, and Flower begged 
 him not to mention it with perfect sincerity, for the fact 
 was he dreaded bursting into a roar of laughter at the 
 thought of his subsequent exploits, which had raised him 
 amongst the youngsters of the squadron to the highest point 
 of popularity. 
 
 All this was very agreeable. Alfred came on board the 
 " Intolerable n very frequently. They used to retire after 
 dinner to the bow-port on the main deck, and smoke there. 
 One evening, a thought struck Alfred, " Would they 
 come and breakfast with him next morning on board the 
 ' Paragon ?' " " Of course they would of course. Noth- 
 ing could be more agreeable, if old would give leave." 
 
 " Old has been sulky lately," a midshipman remarks ; 
 
 " fact is, we don't come up to see the hammocks stowed, 
 
 you know.' 7 " What kind of a man is old ?" Alfred 
 
 asks. " Oh ! an old muff." " Is he anything of a sailor?" 
 asks Alfred, looking nautical. " Why hem ! he may be 
 something of a sailor, it's true," says Flower, lazily assent- 
 ing to what he considered an unimportant merit. " How- 
 ever, old must be asked for leave, sailor or no sailor." 
 
 " You must put up with these things if you stay in the pro- 
 fession," says Jigger, philosophically. They make up their 
 minds to ask him at once, for he is just at dessert now, and, 
 to use his own favorite expression, " a child might play with 
 him now !" Lo ! off goes Flower to the ward room, steals 
 
 alongside the said old , and asks him, just as he has 
 
 taken a sip of his favorite wine for Flower is an artist in 
 these matters manages a commander as Womb well would 
 
 a bear. Out he comes again, looking joyous. Old is not 
 
 such a bad fellow after all. " That's it ! you see," adds 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 331 
 
 Jigger, " he's not without his good points, Snigsby, mind 
 you." And they arranged to meet next morning. 
 
 Morning came. Flower and Jigger had vanished early, 
 
 for old might be bilious, and repent. " Too knowing 
 
 to risk that, you see/' says Jigger. Alfred felt a justifiable 
 pride as he showed them into the main cabin, with splendid 
 furniture and hangings everywhere, breakfast laid out, game, 
 fruit, wine, &c., on a table radiant with silver and china. 
 " These people do it," thought Flower, and Flower wondered 
 mentally " what things were coming to." Flory itself was 
 a little seedy now-a-days, and his second sister had married 
 somebody for money somebody, alas ! who had been 
 obliged to get a grant of arms at old Flower's request, or 
 she could not have transmitted their twenty-four quarterings 
 to her children, in case Herbert (who was the only son) 
 left his sisters co-heiresses of the name. Whereas but, 
 " Coffee or tea, Flower?" broke the moment's reverie. I 
 don't say Flower was envious of the wealthy broker ; I said 
 he had had an English education and thought accordingly. 
 
 But a case of preserved grouse had been ripped with the 
 sharp steel in a moment ; in another, Jigger had helped 
 everybody to Moselle, as an excuse for beginning himself, 
 and the party began to get jolly. 
 
 " Call Blobb," said Flower. Blobb came down. Flower 
 poured out a glass of wine for him. The tall skipper said 
 " my respects," as his custom was, and drank it. 
 
 " And now," said Flower, slapping Alfred on the back, 
 " let's run outside the harbor for an hour." 
 
 Alfred hesitated. Blobb looked at him inquiringly. 
 
 " There's a goodish breeze," said Blobb. " I should let 
 these gentlemen see what the Paragon can do, sir (Alfred 
 knew one thing, that the Paragon could do for him in rough 
 weather only too well) When I sailed the Dream for Lord 
 Blory " 
 
332 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 " She won the Cup," said Flower. 
 
 " So she did, sir. Do you remember that ? That was 
 a wessel I Well, shall I weigh, sir ?" 
 
 " Til bet you the Lotos would lick you all to fits," said 
 Jigger, to stimulate affairs. 
 
 "There ain't a vessel in the squadron as can touch us/' 
 said Mr. Blobb. 
 
 "We'll show them, eh, Blobb?" said Alfred, with des- 
 perate gaiety. " Get up the anchor." He felt that he 
 was in for it now or never must Alfred Snigsby be a 
 nautical man 1 "Try a pate!" he said, with a magnificent 
 air, and he further dived into the recesses of the yacht's 
 resources by producing some curafoa. If Herbert Flower 
 had a weakness, (and it must be admitted he had a few,) 
 his peculiar weakness was curafoa. They pledged each other 
 with all conceivable jollity ; Flower had lighted a cigar, 
 Jigger was just attempting one more slice of melon, when 
 the yacht heeled, a plate on the edge of the table, all white 
 and gold, shot off, spun like a catherine-wheel, and died out 
 into sparkles of china-dust on the deck. In rushed the serv- 
 ant to clear the table. 
 
 "Come on deck," said Flower. 
 
 A goodish breeze I It was a stiff breeze, Blobb ! The 
 yacht paid off, and swept away towards the harbor's mouth. 
 The red fair-way buoy bobbed ahead in the distance, like a 
 cherry one moment, the next they were flying past it. The 
 island seemed sinking into the sea as they shot away from 
 it, gathering itself up with its forts and spires and its white 
 stony rocks, before settling into the deep green waters. 
 Every now and then the shadow of a huge cloud swept over 
 the sea, which seemed to shrink under it as it hurried along. 
 
 "Well, how do you like her ?" said Alfred. 
 
 " Oh, capital 1" said Flower. He began walking about 
 the deck with the old " Cowslip," air. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 333 
 
 "How do you feel, Jigger 1" said Alfred, suddenly 
 
 " Let's go back F muttered the youth, making for the 
 cabin. 
 
 " My dear fellow F said Flower, "stuff ! Now, do what 
 I tell you," and he and Jigger seized their host, and led him 
 in an attentive manner to the side. " Boy, some brandy 1" 
 
 Alfred had one wild glance at the heaving, pitiless sea to 
 leeward, and to the long hissing line of thin foam beneath 
 him. Flower's hand was on his forehead. There was a 
 pause, and Jigger came with the cognac. 
 
 " Now, old boy there ! off with it F said Jigger. 
 
 " That's a man F said Flower, patting him. " Never 
 give in to this kind of thing." 
 
 Alfred was better. He took a little more brandy. He 
 stuck to the deck. The yacht was still jumping about, and 
 it was getting darker over head. 
 
 "We'll make a sailor of you, old fellow !" said Jigger. 
 " Now, do you know how to put her about man-of-war fash- 
 ion ? Ready about !" 
 
 Mr. Blobb came running aft. " What's the matter, sir ?" 
 
 "You're the proprietor, you know," whispered Flower to 
 Alfred ; " you put her about yourself." 
 
 " I'll put her about, Blobb," said Alfred. 
 
 " As you please, sir," said Blobb, quietly. There was a 
 calm satire about that man's manner which Alfred stood in 
 dread of. "Mr. Blobb," he said, "take some brandy." 
 
 " Thank you, sir, I ain't sick." 
 
 "Go forward, sir," said Alfred, majestically. 
 
 " Now then, ' ready, oh ready, cry,' " said Flower. 
 
 "Ready, oh ready," cried Alfred, to the inexpressible 
 delight of the cook's boy, who was watching the proceed- 
 ings from the bows. 
 
 " Helm down," said Jigger. Down flew the helm, and 
 round came the shivering schooner, flapping in the wind ; 
 
334 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 over glided the boom. Really, Alfred thought, it was the 
 easiest thing imaginable. Accordingly lunch, more bran- 
 dy ! 
 
 By this time Malta was lying far away ; the wind kept 
 still rising. Blobb came and reported that the " glass was 
 falling." Oh, they would stand on a little longer, and Alfred 
 was going to tack her again. This time he cried out "Ready, 
 all ready," in a voice that would have done for a three-decker. 
 Everything went right except whew I a squall came, and 
 carried away the foretop-mast ! 
 
 "Mr. Blobb !" Alfred cried out, with a pitiable yell. 
 
 " Hush, man," said Flower, laughing, "it's no great mat- 
 ter !" Blobb came forward, and set the men to work to 
 clear the wreck, which was struggling in a mass of confu- 
 sion. Flower bounded down to the cabin for a moment, 
 and came up again, looking a little graver. He then went 
 and looked at the compass, and to windward, and towards 
 Malta, now a cloud almost Alfred's eyes all the time 
 watching him with eagerness. 
 
 " Well ?" said Alfred, a little pale. 
 
 " Why, it's coming on to blow," Flower said. 
 
 " Coining on ! Don't you call this blowing ?" 
 
 Flower gave a little laugh, light, but ominous like a 
 funeral note on a silver hand-bell. 
 
 " Look at these clouds, my boy ; we call them horse-tails." 
 And he glanced upwards at a group of long, black strips 
 of clouds flying across the sky. " The fact is, we are in for 
 a gale, and we shan't get back to-night." 
 
 The yacht was too far to leeward to get back in her dis- 
 abled state, indeed, and Mr. Alfred had to watch the pro- 
 cess of her being made "all snug." Snug, indeed I Never 
 did word appear to him such a misnomer as that. 
 
 And then he lay on the cabin-lockers, looking out on the 
 place with ghastly eyes, tossed about till he scarcely knew 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 335 
 
 whether his head belonged to him. He saw, as in a vision, 
 Flower descend and huddle himself up in the corner, with 
 a cold chicken and a crust ; and then Jigger came down in 
 his turn, and overhead there was an eternal rattling of 
 ropes, and a long night of dreams followed, till suddenly he 
 woke, and found everything very still. In the gray light 
 of the morning he saw Flower and Jigger asleep on the 
 cabin-floor, like the babes in the wood, heaped over with 
 cloaks. He went on deck ; the yacht was at anchor in 
 harbor, but not the harbor of Malta. To the right lay a 
 quaint old town, which seemed to sprawl along the coast, 
 and end on a narrow neck of rocks. A long, low shore 
 spread far away to the left, vague and marshy, with patches 
 of water gleaming here and there, like fragments of a broken 
 mirror, on the flats. The herbage was of watery origin ; 
 green flags were grouped together, near the shore. But 
 the distance showed a fine pastoral country, and the trees 
 near the town were mulberry trees. It was Sicily, the Idyl 
 of the World. The yacht was in the harbor of Syracuse. 
 
 It was the nature of Herbert Flower to accommodate 
 himself to circumstances. Circumstances having driven the 
 yacht into Syracuse, kept himself and Mr. Jigger away be- 
 yond their leave, and Alfred Snigsby away from his family, 
 why, what was to be done ? Clearly to make the most of 
 the occasion, and see all that was to be seen in the town. 
 
 Behold the three young gentlemen, then, mounted on 
 mules, and trotting away into the country ambling, I 
 should say for ambling is the mule's true pace. The 
 mule is a classical animal, an ecclesiastical animal, a lite- 
 rary animal ; he remindeth you of the ancients, of the Jesu- 
 its, of Cervantes. Lightly fall the cudgel on the beast 
 which ambles through the pages of Don Quixote I 
 
 Away they amble, and now they reach, passing through 
 light groves of pale green trees, on a road where here and 
 
336 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 there the country cafe offers hard red wine a kind of glen. 
 There has been an amphitheatre here once ; those long 
 brown stones, half covered by the grass, were the seats of 
 the audience ; but what is that huge carved rock, that lofty 
 fissure in yon hill of stone, crowned by the scarred brow of 
 grass ? 'Tis the famous prison the Ear of Dionysius. It 
 is tall long, ah ! with what propriety it is long eternal 
 type in stone of the long ear of its builder, who has left no 
 monument but the one that proves his infamy I 
 
 Well, of course, the prison has become vulgarized now-a- 
 days. There is a chair suspended from the top dangling 
 ludicrously across the mouth of the sonorous cavern 
 wherein you may be hoisted, for a small remuneration, to 
 the private hole in the rock, some eighty feet up. In that 
 hole, says tradition, the tyrant sat. 
 
 Now, Mr. Alfred Snigsby mounted in the chair, the 
 guides began their task of hoisting, and slowly he ascended 
 towards the place. Nothing could be more delightful than 
 the motion. As you rise the little scene around seems to 
 expand, the little picture unrolls itself, and beauty overflows 
 the boundary ring of the sight. 
 
 But hillo ! here Alfred had stopped in air. The hole is 
 still above, the earth below ; no motion is made either way. 
 He holloaed loudly ; the melancholy echoes rolled round 
 the cavern, answering, but without sympathy. He pain- 
 fully peered down, but saw nobody. And so he must hang 
 till our next chapter. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 337 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 To be perched in an undulating, cane-bottomed chair, 
 sixty feet above the level of the earth, before the cavern of 
 an ancient tyrant, cannot be said to be a pleasant situation 
 for a Cockney. There is something in London life which 
 unfits one for adventure. You are so thoroughly secured 
 by the protection of the law, so entirely reliant on the po- 
 lice, and so walled in by the tranquil homeliness of com- 
 merce, that you lose some natural manliness. You have 
 not the vigor of the ancient life, when a man held his tenure 
 of safety direct from Nature, and not from the joint-stock 
 assurance company of society. One's ancestors, who had a 
 Black Douglas in his castle a few miles off, must have felt 
 more vividly, I imagine, than we do ; their blood was a 
 stronger brew. To be sure, we now-a-days are more com- 
 fortable, but we know how much the capon loses to qualify 
 him for getting fat I 
 
 Mr. Alfred Snigsby peered round more anxiously than 
 ever, when he heard no answer to his shout. His legs 
 dangled absurdly, and a slight breeze arising, he began to 
 turn uncommonly like a spitted goose. But here Mr. 
 Flower came running down the glen at full speed. 
 
 " Snigsby V 
 
 " Yes. What's the matter ? w shouted Alfred, anxiously. 
 
 " All right. Lower away there." 
 
 Alfred felt himself descending, and was delighted to reach 
 terra fir ma. 
 
 "What has been up, old fellow ?" he asked. 
 
 " Up ! A covey of partridges, to be sure. Why, Jig- 
 ger and I have been across these fields after the red-legged 
 villains, saw them down alongside a kind of fence, put them 
 
 tf 
 
338 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 up missed. The fact is, you can't do anything withont 
 dogs. It's no go." 
 
 " Yes, that may be true," said Alfred ; " but I've been 
 dangling all the time." 
 
 " I beg your pardon, old fellow ; these confounded guides 
 would bolt after us, to see the fun." 
 
 Alfred stretched himself, considerably relieved, for he had 
 begun to have a faint suspicion that something had hap- 
 pened serious. Perhaps he thought that Dionysius had 
 seized his friends for trespassing. One might study a long 
 time in the school of Brickies without having much more 
 knowledge than the fear would imply. 
 
 There was now, to use the Snigsbaean phrase, which gene- 
 rally made its appearance at all places they visited, " noth- 
 ing more to see." What we see, my dear Snigsby, will de- 
 pend on the eyes we bring to it. I can testify, from per- 
 sonal observation, that the prison of Socrates consists of 
 three small caves, with a round hole in the top of the mid- 
 dle one. It would not occupy four lines of the inventory 
 of a broker, but I found no want of something to see there. 
 The Brickies school of travellers and writers always count 
 the items like shopboys, as, indeed, they some of them have 
 been. They tell you that the Parthenon only consists of 
 a moderate number of defaced columns. Yery true ; and 
 Man is a two-legged animal, with a round head, only that 
 he is plus a soul, as people will one day find out. 
 
 The guides were paid. Flower stood for a moment before 
 the cavern, moralizing. His laugh rolled all around the 
 strange walls, as he turned away. The sound might sug- 
 gest moralizing to others ; it was the laugh typical of the 
 youth and the satire of modern Europe, and in all the cav- 
 erns of the past that laugh is raising, and will raise thun- 
 der ! 
 
 They mounted their mules and ambled towards the town 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 339 
 
 again. At the shore they saw a fine mulberry tree ; under 
 the deep, dark green leaves, the rich black berries were 
 sweltering, ripe, pouting at you, like the lips of a young 
 JEthiop. Flower's eye fell on it. He gave a wild excla- 
 mation as he approached, and then he bargained with the 
 proprietor to be allowed to perch himself there "like a cor- 
 morant," and devour ad libitum for a shilling. Neither 
 Alfred nor Jigger felt inclined to join. So the youth 
 mounted the tree with the aid of a "back" from Alfred, 
 and there he sat, perfectly happy, for three quarters of an 
 hour, and came down with a mouth as bloody as a cannibal's. 
 The others, indeed, accelerated his descent, by shouting to 
 him they were lying on the grass, (smoking, of course,) 
 hard by that there was a fair wind. Indeed, it was high 
 time to take advantage of that circumstance, and be off 
 again to Malta. So they left shore without calling on the 
 consul, even, which was a strange omission, for Herbert 
 Flower usually exacted the official attention paid to people 
 of mature years. He would have liked to have gone to din- 
 ner at the consulate in full dress to have talked politics 
 with the functionary, to have finished a bottle of port at 
 dessert, and to have gone up-stairs to tea and flirtation with 
 the family. 
 
 Once more they gained the Paragon's deck. Blobb ! 
 Where was Blobb ? 
 
 " I shouldn't wonder if he's gone to see the antiquities !" 
 said Jigger, with a laugh. (And why not, my dear Jig- 
 ger?) 
 
 " Ha, ha," laughed Alfred" that's a good idea." 
 
 Mr. Blobb made his appearance just at dusk. He was 
 somewhat red in the face and confused in his ideas. Indeed, 
 he spoke of the vessel as the Dream, and appeared to fancy 
 that he was still sailing that remarkable yacht for Lord 
 Blory. Blobb cherished the memory of his lordship with 
 
340 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 real affection. Lord Blory lived half his life afloat, luxu- 
 riously enjoying himself all over the world. He was the 
 last of a long line, desperately impoverished, and too proud 
 (bless him for that !) to marry for money. How he man- 
 aged to go on as he did, made those who envied his fortune 
 wonder. But some people do with their ancestors as the 
 papists do with their saints work miraples with their relics. 
 And Blory did go on very comfortably, till the skull over 
 his hatchment in Grosvenor-street informed the connoisseurs 
 in heraldry that the race was extinct ; and the family vault 
 in shire opened for the last time. 
 
 "Weigh, Mr. Blobb," said Alfred, with a calm air of 
 command. Mr. Blobb gave the needful orders, going about, 
 shaking his head, with a maudlin expression. The anchor 
 was raised, and the yacht glided away in the twilight. 
 Luckily, there was a good fresh breeze right on the quarter, 
 and so she held on straight for Malta. They passed no- 
 thing that night but a few speronari, beating back to Sicily 
 from Yaletta harbor. As they neared Malta, they fell in 
 with the Roarer, Captain Bulrush, hovering about with 
 apparently no distinct object. Bulrush was the comic Yan- 
 derdecken of the ocean. His brig the Roarer was the comic 
 Phantom Ship. Destiny had apparently decreed that he 
 should expiate his sins by cruising about with too much sail 
 on in a state of beer. He was sometimes hovering about 
 for days, when he ought to have been in harbor. One of 
 the most touching things in story is the fate of the Flying 
 Dutchman but only think of the fate of the Flying Dutch- 
 man's creditors ! The Bulrush hailed the yacht, but Flower 
 sternly "stood on," and in an hour they were at the har- 
 bor's mouth. 
 
 So in the yacht swam, hauling down the gaff topsail and 
 swimming along slowly. Before them the harbor stretched 
 away gleaming glittering like a sword sheathed in the 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 341 
 
 stone scabbard of the white island. The marina was fringed 
 with vessels with their sails loosed. The men-of-war, too, 
 had loosed their sails to have the thin night dew on them, 
 burned up by the scorching sun of the noon. And such a 
 noon ! It made the almond trees languid, and put fever 
 in the blood of the blood-oranges. 
 
 The Paragon glided almost close under the stern of the 
 Intolerable ; and on the poop was visible the gleam of a 
 green parasol a parasol green as the veil of a houri, if Mrs. 
 Snigsby, its possessor, will permit me the rather " improper" 
 comparison. Alfred saw at once that she was anxiously 
 awaiting him, and had been suffering what is called "great 
 mental uneasiness." If one could calculate the number of 
 relatives who are suffering that well-known pain from similar 
 causes at this moment, one would have an odd statistical 
 return ; and next, one would like to know the aggregate 
 cost of their luncheons. 
 
 The Paragon anchored a great deal nearer the Intoler- 
 able than Mr. Flower liked. The commander was now to 
 be faced, and two nights' absence accounted for. It was no 
 use now to get up a story about sudden illness at the house 
 of the Blocklys, who would not let you go. No, no. The 
 yacht's return had been duly reported by the signal officer 
 at the commander's particular request. So on board Mr. 
 Flower walked, with as much coolness as was consistent 
 with his visions of " stopped leave" and a " wigging." Com- 
 mander was a perfect artist at wigging. If you argued 
 
 with him during the operation, it made him worse. If you 
 said openly, with the most polite submissiveness, " Well, sir, 
 it shan't happen again," he came down on you like a shot 
 with " Not with impunity, sir 1" 
 
 But the commander was not on deck, and some very 
 extraordinary operations were going on there operations 
 of a character not very nautical. Let us fancy that Alfred 
 
342 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 has been embraced by his mamma on the poop, to his unnt- 
 terable confusion, publicly, and look round us. The quar- 
 ter-deck guns were rolled forward (by-the-by, a certain cap- 
 tain once capsized them to teach the marines to march over 
 rough ground /) and the ropes all coiled up and off the deck ; 
 and beds new beds from the purser's stores were strewn 
 about, among an infinite variety of flags. I regret to add 
 that a number of little lamps, such as one usually associates 
 with the idea of Yauxhall, were lying in a row on the poop. 
 
 "Why, hallo 1" said Flower, seeing the confusion around, 
 " is there an execution in the ship ?" 
 
 There was a loud laugh at this notion from a group of 
 officers who were standing by the gangway ; and, indeed, 
 there was a certain Titanic jocosity in the notion of any- 
 body >s " putting a man" in a three-decker ! It showed a 
 cheerful disposition in a youth who had " broken his leave" 
 by forty-eight hours. 
 
 " Hillo, Phenomenon ! Ah, Flower of Flory ! how are 
 you ?" were the various salutations which greeted him. 
 
 " All right. Where's old ? 
 
 Old approached a moment afterwards. 
 
 "Come on board, sir," said Flower. "I regret ex " 
 
 " Of course, of course," interrupted the commander, " you 
 are always regretting something. You could not get back 
 before the gale, of course not. You were obliged to help 
 a ship in distress " 
 
 " I beg your pardon, sir " 
 
 " Of course, you beg my pardon but why incur the ne- 
 cessity of doing so ? No. You were enjoying your cura- 
 coa," said the commander, awfully imitating what he fan- 
 cied a dandy tone of voice " ongtre vose, amee /" he added- 
 and really he burlesqued French perfectly ! 
 
 The Phenomenon looked very demure. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 343 
 
 " Well, go away," said the commander, " go away, Mr. 
 Flower." 
 
 Lucky Herbert Flower ! For an approaching event had 
 cast something pleasanter than a shadow before. The In- 
 tolerable in fact but this is the proper moment to invoke 
 the shade of Benbow. Shade of Benbow then the In- 
 tolerable was going to give a ball 1 
 
 This was why the guns were rolled forward, and the very 
 capstan unshipped ; why the flags were dragged from be- 
 low, &c. The beds and flags were to be made into otto- 
 mans on the hatchways, duly shut up with gratings. The 
 officers were " on hospitable thoughts intent." The ship 
 was expecting her orders to come home soon, and they re- 
 solved to leave behind them the fragrance of a hospitable 
 memory. The Snigsbys were invited, and accepted, very 
 cordially, the invitation. It was extraordinary to see how 
 good, solid Mr. Snigsby pardoned by this time the playful 
 extravagances of naval life. Often had he, in full vestry, 
 indignantly denounced an idle navy ! Often had he fiercely 
 inquired backed, too, by the luminous Snogg why the 
 Mediterranean fleet was not sent to sea? Not unfre- 
 quentiy he had hinted that the service was kept up to sup- 
 port an oligarchy. But now he found these monsters 
 " fattening on the vitals of the people " to be just a good- 
 natured, gentlemanly, off-handed set of fellows, ready to 
 give dinners, or eat them, with anybody thrown in their 
 way. Mr. Snigsby could not hate them no, he gladly ac- 
 cepted the present invitation. 
 
 The preparations proceeded on board the Intolerable. 
 The little lamps gradually assumed the form of the letters 
 Y. R. The main-deck was prepared for the supper, every- 
 body declaring it the proper place, always excepting Bob 
 Buggies, the second master, whose wishes not running in 
 
344 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 the ball way, led him to condemn the proceeding as con- 
 trary to all discipline. Arid there was still a wound rank- 
 ling in the breast of Bob. When the Intolerable was at 
 Naples, some time before this, the officers were asked to a 
 royal ball. But the second master and master's assistants 
 indeed the genus Bung (to use the naval name) were not 
 included. Bob went about the ship, indignantly inquiring 
 " why ?" to the inextinguishable delight of Herbert Flower 
 and the other youngsters. Herbert caused great amuse- 
 ment by the refined impertinence with which he consoled 
 Bob on the occasion. 
 
 " It's all part of a confounded system, Bob," he said j " I 
 myself don't approve of those social distinctions, you know, 
 (here he shrugged his little shoulders inimitably,) a mere 
 antiquated affair, but somehow things are all based on 'em. 
 Eh, Rivers ?" 
 
 " But what do you mean, Flower, hey ? Aint I aboard 
 of this ship as an officer and a gentleman, and equal to any- 
 body?" 
 
 It was glorious to see the little villains gazing seriously 
 on Bob. 
 
 " Why, of course, you're an officer and a gentleman, Bob. 
 I suppose you know it is some confounded consideration of 
 family. I say nothing, Bob, only you know the nature of 
 aristocracy, Bob." | 
 
 And so poor Ruggles went away with a burning heart 
 from his affectionate sympathizers, who roared jovially over 
 the incident, as they smoked the evening cigar. Of course 
 Bob Ruggles could not be expected to love balls or the sort 
 of people who frequent them. 
 
 Everybody was asked to this ball, that was one comfort. 
 The captain's cabin was abundantly supplied with refresh- 
 ments for the benefit of quiet old fellows ; fellows whose 
 dancing days are over, and who just talk about professional 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 345 
 
 points and sporting, over sherry, and leave their daughters 
 to " amuse themselves." The dusk came on, and then boat 
 after boat began to leave the shore and the ships. Luckily 
 it was a beautiful night. So, thankfully ejaculated Mrs. 
 Snigsby, as she wrapped herself in an immense shawl, and 
 leant back in a shore boat. So, thankfully ejaculated 
 Alfred, putting on his gloves in ditto. Mr. Snigsby said 
 nothing ; he had a notion that it was chilly, but how could 
 he venture to say that a Mediterranean night was chilly be- 
 fore Mrs. S. ? 
 
 " Bless me !" exclaimed Mrs. Snigsby, as they gained the 
 deck, shrouded in with awnings, brilliant with flags, and 
 glittering with lights. " Bless me, you would never think 
 it was a man-of-war." 
 
 " Never, at any time, my dear madam I" said Herbert 
 Flower, politely offering his arm, and looking like a pigmy 
 by the side of her majestic form. 
 
 Two or three people within hearing of the Phenomenon 
 chuckled. The commander, who guessed that it was a sar- 
 casm, from the distance, summoned Mr. Flower to him. 
 
 " Not quite so conspicuous, Mr. Flower. Not quite so 
 conspicuous, sir I" he said, with his loftiest manner. 
 
 Herbert was annoyed, he did not like to be snubbed, and 
 that, too, just as little Lucy Beddoes was passing by. 
 Lucy Beddoes was a " nice little girl," according to Flow- 
 er's phraseology. 
 
 " Isn't it a shame ?" he said to her, when he got her arm. 
 " That's the way we're treated, you see, in this profession." 
 
 " I hope he has not hurt your feelings ?" said Lucy, 
 simply. 
 
 " Hurt the (he was almost saying, hurt the devil). 
 
 Hurt my feelings 1 No. He bores me, though, by his con- 
 founded impertinence. Ah, Snigsby! Let me introduce 
 my friend, Mr. Alfred Snigsby." 
 
 15* 
 
346 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Alfred was superbly dressed. Lucy Beddoes knew they 
 had a yacht. Alfred had a very gracious little bow. She 
 could not help respecting a youth of " expectations." Not 
 that she was an atom mercenary, only helpless, poor thing 1 
 You observe that girls must, many of them, put love out of 
 the question, now-a-days. Political economy demands it 
 and is not that an answer to everything ? 
 
 Alfred's mamma called him away at this moment. 
 
 " Well, how do you like my friend Snigsby ?" said Flower, 
 chuckling. - 7 - 
 
 " He is very nicely dressed/ 7 said Lucy demurely. 
 
 " A great deal of money, I assure you," Flower said, 
 " and he is the only child. What say you ? Let's go 
 halves P 
 
 " For shame !" said the girl, laughing, and blushing a 
 little. 
 
 " Fm serious ! We'll divide him between us. You shall 
 have half the money and him into the bargain !" 
 
 But here began the music, and interrupted the pure play- 
 fulness of this child of nature. The company were crowd- 
 ing the deck. You were sheltered by a high awning, and 
 by flags of all hues. The effect was a bright lightness the 
 temperature delicious. Nature helped the artificial to per- 
 fection. You just got enough air to keep you pleasantly 
 cool. If there happened to be a rent in the spacious trem- 
 bling roof, you saw a star through it and the champagne 
 must have been bad, if you could not say something pretty 
 to your partner apropos of that ! Unless, to be sure, she 
 was the daughter of a captain in command, and too con- 
 scious of her high rank to encourage any playfulness of 
 observation. 
 
 Flirtation, were the subject treated (not by a cockney 
 parvenu of course) by some gentleman and scholar with 
 humor, sentiment, and sense, would afford matter for a 
 
, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 347 
 
 delightful essay. Willis would be a dash too flippant ; Sir 
 Edward is becoming a little too grave ; and Thackeray 
 would tinge it with the melancholy of his deep reflection. 
 But, really, Flirtation deserves a commentator. It bears 
 the same relation to love that a belief in fairies does to reli- 
 gion. One might compare it to the old tournaments 
 mimicries of real war but not only mimicries dangerous 
 wounds have been received at many a " gentle passage of 
 arms" as the old writers called them. Flirtation is dis- 
 tinctly to be commended. Is it not a recognition though 
 but in sportiveness of the existence of that divine sentiment 
 which relates the sexes to each other ? 'Tis an escape from 
 the too solid realities of " fortunes " and " expectations," a 
 playful butterfly flight over their iron walls. And Flirtation 
 will reveal to you, perhaps, the higher sentiment in time. 
 Franklin discovered the relation between lightning and 
 electricity by a simple schoolboy kite. Much has been 
 learnt about love's heaven by the playful idling of Flirta- 
 tion. 
 
 But to return : for the band on the poop is playing away 
 merrily. The quadrilles are crowded. The " youngsters " 
 are enjoying themselves immensely excepting those of the 
 " Borderer," for Captain Plebbe makes them dance with his 
 plain daughters " to a man, sir, every one of us," says little 
 Jogg, protesting that it is disgraceful. The quarter-deck is 
 walled in from the ship's crew, but they peer through inter- 
 stices the grave boatswain looking at the flying damsels 
 with the mingled awe and merriment of Tarn o' Shanter at 
 the Kirk of Alloway " Stand back, there," says Toady ley 
 to a sailor or two who are inclined to obtrude on the hal- 
 lowed ground. Toadyley wants to know "what things are 
 coming to," when the aristocracy can be subjected to this 
 kind of thing ? Indeed, the poor fellow had plenty to do, 
 for Toadyley began by disposing of all the shawls with the 
 
348 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 carefulness of a counter-jumper ; then he had to set down 
 a snug sherry-and-loo party in a quiet cabin ; then he had to 
 blow up the mess stewards who were preparing for the sup- 
 per ; to find partners (which was not easy) for the Com- 
 mander's maiden aunt ; to take care that nobody under the 
 rank of a lieutenant presumed to ask the Baronet's wife to 
 dance ; and to keep the edtior of the Popgun from prema- 
 ture intoxication. And Toadyley did the work of a waiter 
 so well, you would never have thought he was a gentleman, 
 I assure you I 
 
 A polka there was some rapture about a polka in those 
 early days ! had just concluded. Alfred had been dancing 
 with Lucy Beddoes, and really she could be very agreeable 
 if she liked. Herbert and one or two youths were moving 
 about near them. They approached. 
 
 " Well, and have you enjoyed yourself, Alfred ?" asked 
 Mr. Flower, paternally. 
 
 " Yes," said Alfred. 
 
 " And you, Miss Beddoes, eh ?" 
 
 " Oh yes ; very much," Lucy answered ; " where is papa ?" 
 
 " Playing at your namesake loo ! Alfred, I must intro- 
 duce you to Captain Beddoes." Alfred said he would be 
 very happy, though he was a little frightened. 
 
 But at this time Jigger mysteriously withdrew his friend 
 Herbert from the group. 
 
 " Come along," he said, " there are a few of us going to 
 have a snug glass of bitter beer in the gun room. I'm hot 
 and bothered." 
 
 Herbert was just going to assent, but his eye caught the 
 figure of a lady on the poop. It is so delightfully cool there 
 on these occasions when the night is lovely 1 Herbert 
 quietly glided away. The lady was sitting on a chair by 
 herself Mrs. Plumerher name was ; a widow travelling to 
 *' forget" and succeeding ! 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 349 
 
 Mrs. Plumer was a very clever woman and decidedly 
 good-looking well-shaped, decisive features she had. She 
 liked Flower as a " character," and motioned to him to sit 
 down beside her. 
 
 "Ah, good evening," said Flower. "'I did not know 
 you were on board. I have not seen you for a long time." 
 
 " My father has not been well." 
 
 " I hope he's getting better. I am just come to have a 
 chat with you. This is the place for flirting, you know, Mrs. 
 Plumer. I can flirt with perfect safety. Flory is despe- 
 rately mortgaged, and nobody would, could, or should 
 accept me, unless they had plenty of money. I should like 
 to water our ancestral roses with a shower of gold !" 
 
 " That's a romantic sentiment, I am sure, Mr. Herbert 
 Flower." 
 
 " It is a perfectly truthful one, believe me. Now if I had 
 the wealth of my friend Snigsby" and Herbert gave a 
 pompous burlesque accent to the three words. 
 
 " Snigsby what a curious name ! Are they new arri- 
 vals here?" 
 
 " Not particularly new, but they are very rich. Came 
 in their own yacht." 
 
 " Is there not a Miss Snigsby ?" asked the lady. 
 
 " No. By-the-by, he ought to have a sister ! But I 
 wonder you have never met them." 
 
 " Why, we have not been out much lately. You know we 
 moved from our old place." 
 
 " I didn't know that." 
 
 " Yes, to Strada Sotta" 
 
 Flower gave a little srart. " Let me see leads out of 
 the Strada Reale towards the Quarantine harbor, don't it ?" 
 
 " Just so. And by-the-by, now I think of it," said Mrs. 
 Plumer, laughing slightly and coloring a little, "an odd 
 thing happened there a week or two ago." She paused and 
 
350 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 laughed again. " One night after I had been playing but 
 I must tell you, first, that a day or two before that, I had 
 once or twice met an English youth in the street " 
 
 There was an exquisite gravity about Flower at that 
 moment. 
 
 " What manner of youth ?" he asked. 
 
 "Rather tall and what you call ' loud* in his dress. He 
 might be a gentleman who was silly, or a bagman who was 
 ambitious." 
 
 Flower covered his face with his pocket-handkerchief, as 
 if his nose had begun to bleed. Suddenly he jumped up 
 with a " pray excuse me," and ran down the poop ladder ! 
 A dance was just over, and the group breaking up. He 
 met Jigger. 
 
 " Where is young Snigsby ?" he asked. 
 
 " Saw him just this moment. There he is !" 
 
 Flower went in the direction indicated, and found Alfred 
 sitting on one of the ottomans arranged on the hatchway 
 gratings, next a comfortable old lady, who occupied the 
 entire double-headed eagle of Russia with her portly person. 
 He was glad to get away. Flower was wanting to intro- 
 duce him to a most agreeable person. He must come. Mrs. 
 Snigsby, who watched him from a distance, and who, by- 
 the-by, was very gloomy herself while Snigsby, pere, had 
 doomed an elderly gentleman to a dose of the currency 
 felt quite glad to see her son receive so much attention. 
 
 "This way, old fellow," said Herbert, leading him to Mrs. 
 Plumer. 
 
 Alfred stopped short, and turned deadly pale. Mrs. 
 Plumer saw the whole case in a moment, and bowed most 
 simply. 
 
 " I see, Mr. Flower," Alfred said. " I see it all. I'm a 
 gentleman although " he stuttered and gasped horribly. 
 " It's too bad 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 351 
 
 Flower took hold of his wrist, and pulled him round. 
 
 " Hush, man, for God's sake mind what you are about ! 
 It's the change of atr from the quarter-deck, Mrs. Plumer, 
 that affects him." 
 
 " Pray sit down, Mr. Snigsby," she said, kindly. " What 
 a beautiful night it is." 
 
 Her manner was exquisitely contrived to make him fancy 
 she was utterly ignorant of the cause of his agitation. 
 How Flower admired her for it ! 
 
 Alfred stammered out, " I have been a little ill." And 
 sitting down, he began to feel quieter, and to feel attracted 
 as he had felt when he first saw her. He thought, "Well, 
 she does not remember me, really." 
 
 For Mr. Alfred (Brickies and Co. behold your pupil !) 
 had no great opinion of the female intellect, poor fellow. 
 And then, with the most innocent folly, he began babbling 
 away quite freely to the lady, who laughed not at his jokes, 
 but at his sad mistake. Herbert Flower, who had been 
 afraid of a scene at first, enjoyed the present phase immensely. 
 And at that moment a sensation began on deck, like the 
 commotion in the theatre at Pompeii, in Bulwer's novel, 
 when Arbaces pointed to the smoke issuing from Vesuvius, 
 for everybody heard the word " Supper." 
 
 CHAPTER IY. 
 
 MR. HERBERT FLOWER bounded away to take down little 
 Lucy Beddoes. Mr. Alfred Snigsby offered his arm to Mrs. 
 Plumer, and off they went together. He was in a pleasura- 
 ble tumult of excitement, poor fellow, what in a merrier 
 mood he would have called "spoony." It is observable, 
 that the school of Brickies, who see nothing holy in any 
 sentiment, are always made greater fools by what elevates 
 
352 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 the rest of the world. The gods are just, and avenge them- 
 selves on the proper occasion. When the Bricklesarian 
 writers, for example, give up pertness for pathos, the dogs 
 become as common-place as mutes. When they try poetry 
 or love-matters, they describe like auctioneers, and introduce 
 us to dowdies. It is their consummate misfortune that they 
 cannot get out of their own offensive briskness without 
 becoming bores. 
 
 Alfred really became the very thing he most emphatically 
 contemned, a muff, on this occasion. He had not the incli- 
 nation to try his favorite lively style of conversation. Mrs. 
 Plumer, too, saw farther into everything he started as a 
 subject than himself, and bewildered him immensely. All 
 he knew was that he admired her very much ; that he had 
 a great anxiety to keep talking to her, without knowing 
 what to talk about ; and that he was helpless. Somehow 
 he did not seem to advance at all with his attachment. She 
 resisted him by some unseen influence, like that which one 
 has read of as keeping off intruders from particular rooms 
 in enchanted castles. He would have liked just to be able 
 to say, " I love you. I shaU have an immense deal of money, 
 much more than those nobs there. Be mine and marry 
 me !" I am far from supposing, by-the-by, that such a 
 straightforward course would not please many lovely beings ; 
 nay, I am not certain that it would not be a much more 
 respectable way of doing business than the ordinary one. 
 But we could not expect Alfred to set such an example of 
 originality. No. There he stood (a good deal in the way 
 of some of the guests) the Tantalus of the banquet. 
 
 Meanwhile, the said banquet was going on very bravely. 
 A few sturdy revellers whom nobody had seen till it began, 
 were mauling the architecture of jellies and raised pies, like 
 Turks among the Acropolis. Captain Plebbe of the Bor- 
 derer kept his youngsters pretty busily employed supplying 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 353 
 
 the before-mentioned plain daughters with all " the delica- 
 cies of the season," as the Popgun of course called the 
 dishes. The poor boys attracted a good deal of attention 
 among observant people in consequence, and Herbert Flower 
 made an immense sensation by calling out "waiter" to one 
 of them in a marked manner. The youngster was in a 
 furious rage of course ; several people laughed. As for 
 Plebbe, he was perfectly savage, and glared on Mr. Flower 
 like a demon. 
 
 " Really, you ought to be more careful about the opinion 
 of your superiors," said Miss Beddoes to Herbert. 
 
 " My superiors," said Herbert, " indeed." 
 
 " Now you know he is your superior, Herbert," said the 
 sensible Lucy, whose papa was a very worthy captain of 
 artillery. 
 
 " He is a captain, if you mean that, of course. But his 
 rank as Plebbe is not equal to my rank as Flower," said the 
 youth majestically. " Plebbe is who-knows-who, somewhere 
 about Portsmouth ; I am Flower of Flory ! I quarter the 
 shields of peers, and I date from Edward the First !" and 
 so saying, Mr. Flower tossed off a glass of champagne with 
 the air of an Emperor. 
 
 After all, the sentiment embodied in the young gentle- 
 man's speech has an existence afloat, nor is the said exist- 
 ence favorable to discipline. When the service does go to 
 the devil, as we are told by so many worthy officers that 
 it will, depend on it, it will be at its most aristocratic stage. 
 
 Lucy smiled and shook her head. She knew Flory well. 
 Her father had once been stationed at the neighboring 
 county town. Flower senior had twice written to Herbert, 
 to tell him to be very civil to the Beddoeses, and not to fall 
 in love with Lucy, whatever he did. 
 
 " Look at your friend Snigsby," she said, smiling. Flower 
 glanced along the table. Alfred was the picture of spoon- 
 
354 SWELL LIFS AT SEA; OR, 
 
 mess, as his school call it, and the fair widow was talking 
 with uncommon animation to a group round her. One often 
 wonders how some survivors must tremble at the word 
 RESURGAM on a hatchment ! To be sure, it now-a-days 
 generally passes for meaning nothing. 
 
 One more polka ! The supper table was a splendid 
 wreck, and the deck strewed with crushed flowers here and 
 there. There was a dim feeling of chilliness coming on on 
 deck too. The daylight came faintly over the island, and a 
 stray breeze came freshly in, cool from miles of sea. The 
 awning had fallen in at one part, and the flags shifted from 
 their places into disorderly gaudiuess. There was a general 
 murmur about shawls, and the necessity of getting boats 
 ready. " Skip's boats, indeed, ha ! to land dancers, ha !" 
 Such was the growl of the Bung, from his hammock in the 
 cock-pit, as he heard the " pipe " sound. Herbert Flower 
 put on his friend Lucy's shawl, playfully and fraternally. I 
 am afraid he never thought, as the youths who lead Herbert 
 Flower-ish lives ought to think, of the sad contrast between 
 themselves and pure, fine-hearted girls. Flower escorted 
 her to a boat, in company with her father, who had just 
 emerged from the sung cabin. The old gentleman was very 
 red and silent, and apparently firmly brooding over some- 
 thing which employed his whole faculties. He leaned rather 
 heavily on the arm, considering what a light little arm it 
 was, which Lucy held to him as he stepped into the boat. 
 So far Herbert saw ; half-an-hour afterwards you might 
 have seen a little figure, like a happy ghost, gliding away 
 with papa's candle leaving papa snoring in safety and 
 putting papa's Seltzer water within easy reach and then 
 retiring to its own place of rest the happy beautiful 
 ghost ! 
 
 The Intolerable's deck was a scene of confusion, and pale 
 faces, and limp curls. Boat after boat was sent away full, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 355 
 
 and the ship's boats being insufficient in number, shore 
 boats were summoned. 
 
 " Paragon's boat 1" shouted Alfred from the gangway, 
 with the air of a naval captain. That villain Blobb had 
 sent the dingy, only 1 How could that boat take on shore 
 the family plus Mrs. Plumer, arid a female friend, to whom 
 the gallant Alfred offered a passage ? At last Blobb sent 
 nothing excited Blobb to unseemly haste the large boat. 
 
 In they all got, and off went the boat, keeping alongside 
 another one loaded with merry guests. A young gentleman 
 of the Rifles gaily threw off an operatic burst of song. 
 Alfred was in the highest spirits, burning with conceit, and 
 with that liquid embodied conceit champagne. 
 
 " Boat there ; out of the way, that boat !" 
 
 A green and red shore boat came heavily steering 
 apparently right at the Paragon's boat. 
 
 " Yes," resumed Alfred and off he went with a youp, 
 youp youp, tra la la, la la! So I presume to attempt the 
 notation of a remarkable chorus at all events. 
 
 u Meester Sneegsby," cried a Maltese voice from the strange 
 boat ; "Meester Sneegsby, pay me, signor !" 
 
 If the reader has never heard the peculiar shrill "pay" or 
 " poy" me of a Maltese I hope he never may ! There is 
 an unearthly mingled with a Hebraic twang in it, impossi- 
 ble to describe and equally impossible to tolerate. 
 
 Both boats of guests were astonished. " Keep that fel- 
 low off. Break his head !" cried somebody. 
 
 " I owe no man a shilling, sir," cried Mr. Snigsby. 
 
 "No, sar de tall young gentleman, sir ! Meester Sneegsby!" 
 
 Alfred rose up in the boat. His face grew ghastly in the 
 daylight the fresh Mediterranean daylight. 
 
 11 Pay me for bring de ladder to Strada Sotta, Meest&r 
 Sneegsby /" 
 
 What a catastrophe ! Alfred'distinctly remembered that 
 
356 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 there was a balance a balance due the Maltese from that 
 night of humiliation. He was sobered and shivered ; stam- 
 mered out something flung some money into the terrible 
 boat more money by far than he even needed to have 
 paid. 
 
 There was a silence as they passed on. Poor Mrs. 
 Snigsby ! Alfred's heart bled to do him justice as he 
 saw her white handkerchief employed. Mrs. Plumer's veil 
 was down. She said nothing appeared to hear nothing. 
 Mr. Snigsby leaned back in his seat, and looked like a con- 
 demned criminal. 
 
 There was not much jollity after this event. Some ru- 
 mor about the ladder story had oozed out. The hero was 
 now revealed. However amused the gentlemen were, they 
 could not laugh. The ladies of course were " shocked." 
 But soon the boats reached the landing place. 
 
 There they separated into parties, and the time came to 
 bid Mrs. Plumer good night She was a strong-minded 
 woman ; she found two minutes in which to say to Mr. 
 Alfred " two words." 
 
 "I shall not, I suppose," Alfred said, ruefully, "see 
 you see you again, Mrs. Plumer." 
 
 " Candidly," said Mrs. Plumer, " I fear not under the 
 circumstances. My father " 
 
 Alfred's jaw fell. He remembered the stout old gentle- 
 man ! 
 
 "Then I shall not, I suppose, accompany you to the 
 door?" 
 
 " No," said Mrs. Plumer, " nor the window, I hope." 
 
 For the life of her Mrs. Plumer could not resist that 
 parting shot. The groups separated. And off went the 
 Snigsbys home. 
 
 " I wish I was dead," Alfred broke silence with as they 
 strolled home. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 357 
 
 " You're in a fair way to obtain your wishes, sir," said 
 his father. 
 
 "Don't be cruel to him, Mr. Snigsby," said his mother. 
 "Poor Alf!" 
 
 " I don't want to be called Alf. I'm too old for these 
 absurdities." 
 
 " And ought to be, sir, for your other ones," said his 
 father, again. Mr. Snigsby once more had the best of it. 
 
 This last event decided Mr. Snigsby, who reflected on the 
 matter, that they ought to take a cruise. He was getting 
 tired of Malta. Those who remember his late exertions in 
 the great " Papal aggression " question will know how often 
 he alluded to his own " personal observation of the effects 
 of a debasing superstition." The fact is, Mr. Snigsby was 
 bored by the bells of Malta and sick of the sight of shovel 
 hats. Mr. Fatton, of St. Kilderkin, though courteous, was 
 not now cordial altogether. "No man respected Mr. 
 Snigsby more," he said, it is true and nobody can deny 
 that he received his donation to the church in a friendly 
 spirit ! But still the Snigsby s were only "good worldly 
 people," in the Reverend Mr. Fatton's parlance. "Well 
 meaning people, undoubtedly," little Fatton added, " but !" 
 Somehow they wanted that sable bloom which distinguished 
 the Fatton clique. And the little fat-headed man, though 
 most polite when they met, came not to the hospitable 
 rooms in Strada Reale so often as before. Possibly Mr. 
 Fatton had doubts about the state of Mr. Snigsby's soul : 
 possibly he was too much occupied with taking care of his 
 own though there was not so very much of it. 
 
 Then the squadron were going to sea for a cruise. And 
 some people thought it was quite time. The youngsters 
 were sadly dunned. Alfred was on board the " Intolerable" 
 one morning, when an unhappy Maltese was pelted in the 
 cockpit with clothes brushes. 
 
358 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 Accordingly orders were sent on board to Blobb Blobb 
 the stately to prepare for sea. " They never knows their 
 own minds," said the sulky veteran, " never for a hinstant 1" 
 But he went growling about and doing whatever was need- 
 ful. 
 
 The squadron were all lying with top-gallant yards 
 crossed, and the studding-sail gear rove to speak nautical- 
 ly. The admiral issued a long un-readable general order 
 about discipline and sent the fleet to sea under the senior 
 captain remaining on shore himself. There was a fine scene 
 of activity one morning. The " Intolerable " bumped 
 against the " Regina ;" the "Bustard" let a top-gallant 
 yard tumble down, and it went bang through the deck ; 
 the " Lotos" got aground; the "Struldbrug" split a sail. 
 Out they all got, however, ultimately, and commenced sail- 
 ing in columns, which order they maintained by the aid of 
 the senior captain perpetually signalling certain ships to 
 " keep their station " which with ships as with families is 
 just the most difficult thing to get done with accuracy. As 
 often as the signal was made, so often the captain " wigged n 
 the lieutenant, the lieutenant the midshipman " the cat 
 began to worry the rat, the rat began to " &c., according 
 to the well known process among cats, rats, and men. 
 
 Mr. Blobb made the necessary preparations, and the 
 Snigsbys once more embarked on the sea. It was evening 
 when they went on board the yacht. Mr. Blobb had 
 mounted the " green patch " again over his eye. There 
 was something mysterious about that patch, and it seemed 
 to bode no good. 
 
 They were to start next morning, after " a good night's 
 sleep." But what was Mr. Snigsby's astonishment when 
 waking in the middle of the night, he heard not " the 
 night fowl crow," as Tennyson's Mariana did about that 
 time, but a louder and more disagreeable hubbub. There 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 359 
 
 was a shuffling noise indeed audible. Mr. Snigsby shuffled 
 on some clothes, crawled up stairs, (to use his own phrase,) 
 and found the vessel under sail. His first impression was, 
 that Mr. Blobb was going to take them all off, and sell them 
 for slaves. 
 
 " Mr. Blobb I" It was pitch dark. 
 
 Snigsby listened. " Mr. Blobb 1" 
 
 " Hush ! Oh, it's you, sir." 
 
 "Why, what the devil are you about, Mr. Blobb? I 
 told you we didn't want to sail till the morning." 
 
 "Mr. SAnigsby," said Blobb, speaking thick, while the 
 perfume of rum hovered in the night air ; " you are a man 
 and a brother." 
 
 Mr. Snigsby's heart sank within him at this commence- 
 ment. 
 
 "I wash left an orphan, Mr. SAnigsby," maundered on 
 the skipper, " and brought up to sea-faring, as my father 
 before me. First of all, I swerved along with " 
 
 " Never mind, Mr. Blobb," said Mr. Snigsby, feeling his 
 utter dependence on the terrible skipper. "But why are 
 we a-weigh now ?" 
 
 " SAtop all in good time, Mr. SAnigsby. I swerved 
 many years in revenue cutters and gentlemen's yachts. 
 When I sailed the ' Dream ' for Lord Blory oh, Mr. 
 SAnigsby, that was a man." Here Blobb's feelings induced 
 a hiccup, which accompanied him from that point. " De- 
 sAended of noble ancestors, Mr. SAnigsby, his lordship was 
 a hindividual of the aristocracy." 
 
 " Of course, Mr. Blobb," said his hearer, shivering a little 
 in the night air. 
 
 " And aboard of that yacht, Mr. SAnigsby, I contracted 
 an unfortunate alliansh with a young 'ooman. We was very 
 appy for a while, though belonging to the lower orders, Mr. 
 SAnigsby." 
 
360 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 44 Why not?" said Mr. Snigsby, philosophically. " But 
 go on, Mr. Blobb." 
 
 " That female," said Blobb, with solemnity, " is now in 
 Malta ; come from Gozo, where she resides." 
 
 " Well." 
 
 " Yes, sir ; and there's a very good reason in England," 
 said Blobb lowering his voice, " why I can't have much to 
 say to her." 
 
 Mr. Snigsby saw how the case was, and why Mr. Blobb 
 preferred sailing in the dead of night. This was very unfor- 
 tunate, but what was to be done ? How could he get rid 
 of him, and get a new skipper ?" 
 
 He paced about the deck, musing. The yacht was right 
 out at sea, floating lightly on over long blue waves. It was 
 a clear moonlight night ; all was still in the cabins below, 
 where Mrs. Snigsby was forgetting her troubles, and Alfred 
 his cares. Mr. Blobb was perched at the weather gangway 
 gigantically calm. 
 
 Suddenly, Mr. Snigsby looking to windward saw a large 
 object glaring through the night. He strained his eyes. 
 The moon glided out of some thick clouds at the moment. 
 The light revealed a sail. It was a brig with all sail set ; 
 her white canvas gleamed through the dusk. But there 
 was no sign of life visible on board her ; she held on calm, 
 silent, and relentless as fate. Was she the doomed vessel 
 whose hell is the eternal sea, in which the mariners' hair grow- 
 eth gray at the wheel, as they beat on evermore in storm and 
 calm with a life as restless as the water that bears them, till 
 they are too weary to speak to one another any more and 
 their garb is antiquated, and the casual mariner crosseth 
 himself as he sees the relics of a long dead generation mov- 
 ing gloomily on their deck ? Was she that mournful spectre 
 of the ocean, the Phantom Ship ? Mr. Snigsby paused and 
 stared. And the vessel neared them. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 361 
 
 'Twas the "Roarer," Captain Bulrush. Yea, 'twas the 
 Phantom Ship of the Mediterranean. The captain slum- 
 bered in the cot, and the lieutenant in the berth, and the 
 officer of the watch in the hammock nettings, and the quar- 
 ter-master on the gun-slide, and the mariner at the wheel I 
 Steadily holdeth she on, without reference to the laws of 
 place, or the decisions of the Admiralty Court. 
 
 " H 11 V roared out Mr. Blobb, suddenly. " Port the 
 helm ! What are they at !" 
 
 Mr. Snigsby seemed to see a monster looming out of the 
 darkness to swallow up his yacht. He shut his eyes; he heard 
 a crash forward. The brig had carried away their jib-boom. 
 The " Paragon's" crew came running up, and poor Mr. 
 Siiigsby heard a voice cry out in his cabin. The phantom 
 had glided on into the darkness. Mr. Blobb was howling 
 over the wreck and invoking horrid vengeance on the cap- 
 tain of the brig. 
 
 Mr. Snigsby ran down the companion, tumbling over 
 Alfred at the bottom of the ladder. He found Mrs. Snigsby 
 in high alarm. They deplored their nnhappy position ; 
 they bewailed their dependence on Blobb. 
 
 Meanwhile that officer, who was a very good sailor, was 
 getting things put to rights again. When the family finally 
 emerged in the morning, after breakfast, they found , all 
 square. It was a beautiful day, and the squadron were 
 lying on the green water in a gigantic line, with glittering 
 sails looking like a row of castles on the border of an 
 immense prairire. 
 
362 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER Y. 
 
 ABOUT this time the "affairs of Europe 77 had, as their 
 custom is, got into some phase of embarrassment which 
 required the presence of a squadron in the eastern parts of 
 the Mediterranean. I don't exactly remember the circum- 
 stances. I believe that an infringement of the Treaty of 
 Adrianople, joined to the marauding propensities of Grivas, 
 completed by the Forte's withdrawal of its approval from 
 the Pasha of Snobkali, were the leading causes of the dis- 
 turbance. How these influenced each other, or, indeed, 
 what they meant, was not easy to discover. At all events, 
 a squadron had to be sent eastward. A verbosa et grandis 
 epistola came from the admiral to the senior captains of the 
 cruising ships. It was just the subject for Sir Booby Boo- 
 ing to expatiate upon. Sir Booby had a decided talent for 
 writing long dispatches. The duller the dispatch, too, the 
 longer it always was like a deep-sea lead in proportion 
 as the lead was heavy, the line was long 1 
 
 Accordingly the Intolerable, 110, the Struldbrug, 90, the 
 Yerdant, frigate, and brig Lotos separated from the fleet, 
 and made away towards the Archipelago. What more 
 natural than that the Paragon should go with them ? Blobb 
 being asked whether he knew that part of the Mediterra- 
 nean, replied, " like Alcibiades 1" That name was a rem- 
 nant of a small store of classical information which the 
 eccentric skipper had acquired while sailing the " Symbol" 
 for a little clique of Oxford men, who cruised about the 
 Mediterranean bewailing the Dead Past. They were a^ sect 
 of little bilious pietists, who wore sham hair-shirts, were 
 always blaming the Greek Church for separating from 
 Rome, and had some odd theory about the " Seven Candle- 
 Sticks." They came home, wrote little poems, journals, an4 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 363 
 
 pamphlets, dedicating to each other all round, and dating 
 " Feast of the Holy Block," or " Eve of St. Kilderkin." 
 Harmless little sect ! but I am digressing. 
 
 Mr. Snigsby, of course, was highly anxious to see those 
 classic scenes, the history of which had touched him so 
 sharply (as the birch of his school could have testified) in 
 his youth. Alfred was ready to go ; anything rather than 
 be bored by Malta, he said. His mother was delighted to 
 think, as she said, that he would recover a free fancy in a 
 still softer clime. The dear, conventional old lady ! She 
 was always chewing the cud of some melancholy or other. 
 She wrote home long letters to her relatives the Bibbs, 
 informing them of her state of mind, and containing the- 
 placidest conventional nonsense about what they saw and 
 did. She was, too, always in extremes. She would write 
 of " the great kindness of the Fattons," because Mrs. F. 
 had been kind enough to come and eat her lunch with her ; 
 and that " dear Christian," Mr. F., on the strength of Mr. 
 F.'s sermons, which were produced as a newspaper writer 
 produces " leaders," because it was his profession. She 
 now dipped a little into Lord Byron's works, of which she 
 had been wont to fight rather shy, and prepared for the 
 romance of the East. So away went the u Paragon," in 
 company with the squadron ; and whenever there was a 
 calm or light wind, Mr. Snigsby had the honor of receiving 
 distinguished company to dinner for the Admiral had not 
 allowed the squadron to come into harbor before starting, 
 under pretence of the urgency of the case, and the captains 
 of the Intolerable and Struldbrug had fallen short of fowls 
 
 and vegetables. In consequence of this, old , of the 
 
 Intolerable a very knowing card sent one of his boats 
 one morning to the Paragon, with his compliments and a 
 melon. Mr. Snigsby had at least ten melons hanging up on 
 board, but " how kind of Captain !" exclaimed Mrs. S. : 
 
304 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 so the captain was asked to come and partake of his melon, 
 and he did partake of it, and of two bottles of Lafitte into 
 the bargain. We may be sure that Blobb did not approve 
 of these visits, and he not unfrequently took advantage of 
 night to get five miles to windward of the squadron. 
 
 "They're as hinnocent as lambs," he said to the crew of 
 the Snigsbys, " as hinnocent as a Paskill lamb." 
 
 Whatever that phrase might mean, he acted a parental 
 part towards them, with a gigantic compassion ; pointed 
 out the various parts of the coast as they came in sight of 
 the Morea ; and showed Alfred how the never-to-be-forgot- 
 ten Lord Blory was wont to wear his fez. Of course Alfred 
 had now begun a beard and moustache, and assumed a kind 
 of oriental appearance, generally. He also cherished a 
 secret intention of going, in his fez, to 'the Cyder Cellars, 
 when he returned to London. That would rather astonish 
 Blow, he thought, and little Buck, the raffish actor, and all 
 the odd hangers on of Yauxhall, the theatres, the casinos, 
 the betting-rooms, &c. " Rather I" he thought. It was 
 just the kind of reflection to be full of as you saw th^ col- 
 umns of Sunium, with the sunlight clinging to them at noon, 
 like a parasite ! 
 
 The squadron passing JBgina with its veil of blue haze 
 (you will find some ruins there, and partridges) arrived off 
 the Piraeus. The Intolerable and Struldbrug anchored in 
 the Bay of Salamis, dropping their best bowers among the 
 bones of the followers of Xerxes ; the Yerdant and Lotos 
 entered the Piraeus, and so did the Paragon, dodging neatly 
 in between the two little lamp-posts in the mouth of it, with 
 a slanting wind. The captain of the Intolerable went on 
 shore to consult the authorities of the Embassy, and returned 
 to his ship with a serious expression on his face, and an in- 
 creased air of self-importance. He was observed to nod his 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 365 
 
 head gravely to the commander, who nodded his to the lieu- 
 tenant of the watch by and by, in his turn. Toadyley 
 who had a talent for getting hold of news like the scent of 
 a truffledog, though he occasionally got hold of a toadstool 
 instead of the luxurious fungus came down to the gun-room 
 
 with the mysterious self-importance of old at third 
 
 hand. There now began a discourse about " British inter- 
 ests," and danger to Otho's crown. 
 
 " It's all part of a general movement of the European 
 democracy, sir," Toadyley said. " It will leave us no insti- 
 tutions, by and by 1" 
 
 On this, Herbert Flower remarked very gravely, that 
 11 nothing could be more annoying to a member of the aris- 
 tocracy " with a subdued grin as he coupled the last words 
 with a glance at Toadyley. For Toadyley's reverence for 
 aristocracy was undoubtedly the result of a pure and disin- 
 terested (and snobbish) attachment. Happy aristocracy, 
 which, however blind it may be, always has a cur to lead 
 it ; to carry the basket, eat the fragments, and put up with 
 the kicks I Toadyley saw Mr. Flower's intention? but said 
 nothing. He found that the best plan of revenging himself 
 on his enemies, was to jog the memory of the commander 
 about their faults and misdoings. 
 
 Some days passed ; it was very fine weather, and there 
 was nothing particular to do. Mr. Slides, the gunnery lieu- 
 tenant, peering from the poop, became gradually aware that 
 there was a fine clear range for firing down the bay. Mr^ 
 Slides was an officer from the " Excellent," a capital cannon 
 shot, and a great authority on shells. He was said to have 
 once gone on board a hulk while the " Excellent " was firing 
 shells at her, to watch the effect on the spot. Stories were 
 told of his seeing tenpenny nails spin like tops on that oc- 
 casion stories which were only believed by a faction, which 
 
366 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 thought Mr. Slides " cracked." He hovered between two 
 strange reputations accordingly. Such is the fortune of the 
 brave ! 
 
 Mr. Slides stood on the poop, gazing on the bay and 
 occasionally glancing up at the rock called " Xerxes' Seat," 
 and wondering what "elevation" would fling up a shot on 
 it. Presently he went to the commander. I have hitherto 
 
 disguised that officer under a ; let me withdraw the 
 
 veil. His name was Bilboes. Mr. Slides observed that 
 there was now an excellent opportunity of having a little 
 shell practice. Bilboes screwed up his mouth. He was 
 one of the old shool ; knew very little of the science of gun- 
 nery, and was rather afraid of shells. Mr. Slides urged him. 
 He wanted to make some experiments was not quite sure 
 of the length of his fuzes. Now they could fire alternately 
 at two points and have somebody near them with a watch, 
 to mark the moment of falling and bursting. 
 
 " But bless me, Mr. Slides!" said the commander, " what's 
 somebody to do when the shells fall near him ?" 
 
 " Get behind a rock to be sure !" said Slides with a superb 
 air. " Get behind a rock 1" he cried out, " unless he wants 
 his 'ed knocked off." 
 
 " One of the midshipmen," suggested little Bloaker the 
 marine officer, with a quiet smile. 
 
 Toadyley, who had been within hearing all this time, 
 wriggled up to the commander. 
 
 "I beg pardon sir," he said to him, "Mr. ah! Mr. 
 Flower, sir, has not been doing much lately !" Artful Toady- 
 ley. 
 
 " By Jove ! no ; call Mr. Flower," said old Bilboes, 
 briskly. " Yes we ought to find out the shells all about 
 the shells you're right, Slides." Bilboes was wonderfully 
 interested in the matter suddenly. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 367 
 
 Mr. Herbert Flower canie running up, bolting the last 
 fragment of a lump of plum cake, " Want me, sir ?" There 
 was a sort of grin in the circle round Bilboes. There was 
 a particular little imbecile grin about Bloaker ; poor little 
 Bloaker, who was what Thackeray calls " a feeble wag," 
 and was called " wicked," by one or two old women. The 
 commander told Mr. Flower what he wanted him for. The 
 Phenomenon nodded, and held his tongue. 
 
 " Gro and get ready, then," concluded Bilboes. 
 
 " I've no preparations to make, thank you sir," said 
 Flowers, quietly. " The estate's entailed sir." 
 
 " What what do you mean ?" said old Bilboes. 
 
 " No need of a will, sir ; goes to the Flowers of Herb- 
 ham after our line. Branched off in Anne's time." 
 
 " Call away the cutter, sir," said Bilboes, " and look 
 sharp about it." 
 
 Mr. Flower bounded off for the purpose, and the com- 
 mander ejaculated, " Well, I'm d d." 
 
 Meanwhile, Mr. Slides had gone down below to get one 
 of the main-deck guns ready for firing. The gunner had 
 had the keys of the magazine given him, and presently be- 
 gan marching with a dignified pace up the hatchway, carry- 
 ing a shell. It is quite a picture to see a gunner carrying 
 a shell the reverence and affection with which he regards 
 the deadly object are most interesting to observe. A 
 young woman carrying her baby ; a fast man bearing a pot 
 of porter, are not more genially interested in their respect- 
 ive charges. A beautiful attachment and surely a disin- 
 terested one ; since occasionally now-a-days, the shell ex- 
 plodes " unexpectedly," (as the subsequent dispatch pathe- 
 tically remarks,) and clears the neighborhood in a summary 
 manner. 
 
 "Cutter's manned, sir," Mr. Flower said to the com- 
 mander. 
 
368 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 "Very well ; now pull, sir, and land at that point to the 
 right. We are going to fire alternately at that point, and 
 yon other one to the left." 
 
 Flower was a picture of respectful attention. 
 
 " When we hoist the red flag, we are going to fire at 
 youI mean at the point on the right," he said, correcting 
 himself, quickly. 
 
 " Same thing, sir," struck in the Phenomenon. 
 
 " Silence, and receive your orders, Mr. Flower. When 
 we hoist the yellow flag, we fire at the point on the left. 
 You attend with your watch, and time the sounds of the 
 falling and the bursting." 
 
 Mr. Flower ran down the side. " Shove off," he cried. 
 
 The oars flashed, the wake shivered, and away went Mr. 
 Flower on his scientific mission. He occupied himself in 
 looking at his watch, and ascertaining that it went properly, 
 and the boat slashed along through the water leaving the 
 old Intolerable towering out of the sea in the distance. 
 
 " We had better warn that boat, sir," said the coxswain, 
 suddenly. Flower looked up. " What's the matter ?" he 
 asked. 
 
 They saw one of the common Greek boats, with a dirty 
 sail, creeping along some way from them. A fez just 
 gleamed over the quarter, and a light curl of blue smoke 
 hovered over it. 
 
 " Starboard, and near her," said Herbert. 
 
 " Boat ahoy, there \" The fez started. " Hillo, 'Erbertl!" 
 
 What Snigsby !" 
 
 Mr. Alfred Snigsby jumped up. " this is jolly Flow- 
 er, by Jove. I was just going for a little cruise beautiful 
 day 1" He stretched his long figure with a most joyful air. 
 " Fll join you are you going to land ?" 
 
 " You may if you like," said Herbert. " Follow us." 
 
 The boats moved away Alfred's following the cutter, 
 
FUN, FKIGATES, AND YACHTING. 369 
 
 and they soon reached the " point to the right," of which 
 Bilboes had spoken. It was a fine, long, rocky strip of 
 land, with shingle on both sides down to the sea. 
 
 "Now, shove off, coxswain," said Flower. "Take the 
 shore boat with you out of the range." 
 
 Alfred and Herbert Flower were left alone on the point. 
 Alfred began to peer about with a curious look. If you 
 ever saw a long bird of the stork genus, observing external 
 nature in the strange way they do, you have seen something 
 that resembles the tone of Alfred's walk. Of course, his 
 little box of " magic lights" came out in an instant, and he 
 offered Herbert a cigar. 
 
 " You fellows have an easy life of it," said Alfred, 
 " upon my word." Herbert was fiddling with his watch, 
 and observing the rocks about them. "Here you are you 
 come ashore you " So he was going on, when sud- 
 denly 
 
 But we must glance at the main-deck of the Intolerable 
 for an instant. Slides was hovering round the gun, and 
 peering through the port with a telescope. " Hang the 
 fellow ! tell the people to hoist the red flag on deck, 
 Jones. Elevate ! well ! oh dear. What's that long col- 
 ored thing moving ? Is't alive ?" 
 
 "Take a cigar, Herbert," said Alfred. "I'll just run 
 and pick one of those leaves." Alfred galloped off. Her- 
 bert's eye was on the Intolerable's mast-head. " Snigsby, 
 Snigsby," he roared out, " come back for God's sake." 
 
 " D n it, it's running !" said Slides. " Is the flag broke 
 on deck?" "Yes, sir," was the answer. "Mr. Flower 
 must see the flag" and jerk went Mr. Slides' wrist ; he 
 could be tantalized no longer. 
 
 A flash of fire, and a white cloud, and a rolling thunder 
 burst from the Intolerable, and then a long thin hiss fol- 
 lowed through the air. Down went Flower, like a pointer, 
 
 16* 
 
370 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 instanter, with a wild glance at Snigsby. Snigsby at that 
 moment was a picture. He stood for one instant like what 
 the vulgar call " a stuck pig" legs frozen mouth agape. 
 And then he dropped backwards I regret to say in 
 among some furze and stones. The long hiss passed over 
 their heads ; there was a tremendous splash in the sea some 
 hundred yards ahead of the point a white cascade sprung 
 up from it for an instant, and all was still. 
 
 "Alfred ahoy!" cried Flower. "Yery pleasant duty, 
 eh?" 
 
 " Murder, by Jove," said Snigsby, who was quite pale. 
 "There's some brandy in the boat, old fellow. Let's 
 call 'it." 
 
 " Gad, I don't know whether the boat ought to cross the 
 range now. Come here by me." Herbert was dotting 
 down the minutes and seconds on a card with a pencil. 
 Always cool the youth was ; indeed he had had a good 
 schooling in the " Cowslip," on the Coast, the commander 
 of which was an officer who occasionally threatened to run 
 his brig alongside a foreign line-of-battle ship, if anything 
 on the part of the line-of-battle ship had offended him. 
 This he called "bringing people to their senses," while other 
 authorities considered it a taking leave of his own ! 
 
 "You are a cool card, Flower," said Snigsby, looking 
 with admiration at Herbert's pencil and notes. 
 
 Herbert shrugged his shoulders. " Oh, I'm paid for it ; 
 what do I get my 30 a year for ?" 
 
 "Ah but hang it, you know," said Alfred, whom the 
 shell had made wonderfully earnest all of a sudden, "it's 
 honorable, old feller ; courage is a fine thing, and it's a 
 great profession to rise in." 
 
 " Oh, courage is just a habit like smoking. The pro- 
 fession's a bore. It's all humbug," said the Phenomenon ; 
 " everything's humbug." 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 3tl 
 
 Up went the yellow flag. " Keep your eye on that point, 
 Alfred," said Flower dropping adroitly down again 
 while Alfred tumbled right over him, and sprawled all 
 abroad in his anxiety to imitate the movement. "All 
 right, man," Herbert said, half laughing. " It won't be so 
 near us this time 1" He laughed, but he did not sneer at 
 young Snigsby's " funk." He thought no worse of him for 
 it ; would have thought no better of him for the opposite ; 
 he neither loved, reverenced, feared, or hated, or despised 
 hardly at all Nil admirari was the basis of his nature. 
 Nil admirari is really the motto of hundreds of our youth. 
 Nil admirari will have to be examined very closely by-and- 
 by. Nil admirari will have to be put down by-and-by. 
 
 Again, the fire gleamed in the heart of the white smoke, 
 and the air hissed like a living thing. They saw a black 
 speck in the air for a second then the " point on the left" 
 glittered with momentary fire, and a whirlwind of stones 
 and dust flew up. 
 
 One or two more shells were fired without any noticeable 
 results. At last one of them began to hiss, prematurely 
 as one feels inclined to do at a Bricklesian drama while it 
 was lying apparently harmless on the sill of the port. 
 Everybody started. It was instantly kicked off into the 
 sea where, luckily, it did not explode, but sunk peacefully 
 into extinction. Slides, of course, was quite ready to " ac- 
 count for" the accident. "Something" was wrong with 
 the " cap," and there was "something" odd about the fuze- 
 He would undertake to show, he said, that it could not hap- 
 pen to another ; but the captain would have no more shell- 
 firing that day. The "boat's return" was hoisted to Mr. 
 Flower's great delight. Alfred remarked that he was begin- 
 ning to take an interest in the practice, but, upon the whole, he 
 was not sorry I believe to find that it was over. Long 
 afterwards, the jnemory, of his first sight of a shell adhered 
 
372 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 to him, and many a time he narrated the circumstance to a 
 select circle, beginning " Flower, of the Intolerable, and 
 I," &c., and his excellent mother never flagged in her shud- 
 dering sympathy nay, not even at the twentieth repetition. 
 
 Alfred now came on board the Intolerable with Flower. 
 The commander received Flower with a little more courtesy 
 than usual, when he read his notes. Of course, Herbert 
 seized the occasion to ask leave to go on shore. 
 
 "Shore, shore," said old Bilboes, "you youngsters think 
 of nothing but the shore. No sooner is the anchor in the 
 ground, than you want to be off." 
 
 Flower said nothing. He knew his man. Old B. had a 
 notion that his forte, was sarcasm so, if you rather seemed 
 to wince, the harmless old gentleman thought you were hurt 
 by his harmless old jocosity, and ultimately relented from 
 his harmless old sternness. 
 
 " Ah, you want to see the ruins of ancient art," said Bil- 
 boes, feeling that his irony hit Flower very hard ; " well, 
 you may go." 
 
 Flower went off very quickly, indeed, we may be sure. 
 The apparently good-natured mood of old Bilboes induced 
 another young gentleman to try his hand likewise, but the 
 fatal inquiry, " whether his log was written up?" put a stop- 
 per as he afterwards expressed it on his expedition. 
 That unhappy log ! How that log has tormented us naval 
 men ! How often have we had occasion to join with HO- 
 RACE in imprecations on 
 
 Te triste LIGNUM te cadncum 
 In domini caput imruerentis ! 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 3T3 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 THE modern inhabitants of Athens perched as they are 
 beside the ruins irresistibly suggest to one a camp of gyp- 
 sies among the remains at Stonehenge. The contrast is just 
 about as great, and the relation of modern to ancient there 
 quite as respectable ; or, if you prefer a commercial illustra- 
 tion, I would compare the town to an insolvent establish- 
 ment, into which Europe has put King Otho as a kind of 
 " man in possession." There is a sort of tawdry, semi-Turk- 
 ish, semi-French seediness about those narrow streets, which 
 inspires one with profound melancholy and disgust. There 
 is a muddy palm-tree growing at the entrance of the main 
 street in a consumptive manner a false life, like the life 
 round about ; and there stand for ever and ever, brown and 
 ghostly, the temples of the old time, beside which this said 
 life, with its noise, falsity, and pettiness, goes bustling on : 
 a kind of wake, that life seems round the noble death there 
 a wretched wake over a dead queen. 
 
 They were stirring times at Athens in 184-. But, first 
 of all, let us see our firiends, the Snigsbys, safely deposited 
 at the Hotel d? Orient. The Paragon, as I have said, an- 
 chored in the Piraeus, where there is quite a gay little white 
 town. Two Russian brigs, with gilt stars on their gun- 
 tompions that foreign dandyism were in the harbor. 
 They exercised their guns constantly, the crew hallooing 
 when they loaded, as they drove the rammers in ; they 
 always loosed sails, and then furled them just as the Lotos 
 did so ; and used to beat the Lotos too, which was their 
 ambition. 
 
 Mr. Blobb and a party from the yacht here employed 
 themselves in landing Mr. Snigsby's luggage. Mr. Snigsby 
 was surprised to see a regular cab-stand, and a fellow in a 
 
314 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 red cap and white petticoats, with a sash round him, come 
 trotting up with a hackney coach, directly he landed. 
 Blobb settled with him to go to Athens, for so many 
 drachmas. " Athens sir, yes sir," fancy that ! and off the 
 coach rolled, along over a good highway road flat, marshy 
 plains stretching away on each side pale, thin woods of 
 light-green trees springing from them barren Hymettus on 
 one side distant Pentelicus, looking misty. " The cabman" 
 stopped presently, and Mr. Snigsby half expected, as he put 
 his head out of the window, to find himself blockaded by a 
 row of omnibuses ahead. They had reached the " half-way 
 house" a bright, gaudy little cafe on the borders of the 
 wood, by the road-side. " The Socrates' Arms, I suppose I" 
 said Alfred, who was in high spirits, making a joke in the 
 style of Brickies. Mrs. Snigsby laughed, but her husband 
 looked grave. 
 
 " The name of Socrates is too sacred for these jests," 
 said Mr. Snigsby, pompously. 
 
 " Oh," said Alfred, sulkily, " there's a great deal of cant 
 talked about these old fellows I" 
 
 " Possibly, sir," said his father with sternness, " but the 
 cant of the Cyder Cellars is worse 1" 
 
 Mr. Snigsby was in a rhadamanthine mood, as was proved 
 by this speech. Whenever that sarcasm about the C. C. 
 (as Alfred would have said) came out, Mr. S. was indubi- 
 tably sulky. " Humph," growled his heir, but I am afraid 
 the old gentleman had the best of it ! Meanwhile the driver 
 was getting himself refreshed, and taking some red wine 
 among the babbling, gaudy, thin-waisted groups who basked 
 in the sun, on the benches outside, kicking out their red- 
 buskined legs, twisting their moustachios, and gabbling 
 three at a time. Crack went the whip, and on the coach 
 moved. At last, the road turned and they approached the 
 town ; the Temple of Theseus lying just on the right. They 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 375 
 
 rattled up the street (for Athens can only be said to have 
 one street) and went straight to the hotel. They were to 
 begin "sight-seeing" (a sadly vulgar word that is) next 
 day. The Snigsbys always " did " the curiosities of a place 
 on system, and regulated their sublime interest in antiquity 
 by the almanac. As these poor sketches of mine are not 
 wholly buffooneries, but claim some slight " purpose," I 
 think I ought to subjoin a " Memorandum" of Mr. Snigs- 
 by's, prepared that evening. It may, who knows, serve as 
 a hint to some future traveller of lofty aims. It will, at all 
 events, illustrate the character of various ditto dittoes. 
 
 MEMORANDUM. 
 
 " th instant. Breakfast. Inquire price of tent. See 
 ACROPOLIS, old columns, ruins Greek worship, graceful Tem- 
 ple of Winds. Dinner at 6. Write Hugg and Bloaker. 
 
 " th instant. Early breakfast (qy. why salt so dear at 
 Athens ?) See ruins, temple Jupiter Olympius. Emperor 
 Hadrian, arch of. Not to forget Umbrella, heat so great. 
 Polytheism, reflections on. Dinner at 6J. 
 
 " th instant. Breakfast. Honey at ditto, from Hy- 
 mettus. (Odd story about Plato and bees in cradle ; fabu- 
 lous.) See Pnyx. Prison of Socrates. Tomb of ditto ! 
 Great man ; opposed popular superstitions. Resemblance 
 of to passers of Reform Bill. P.M. Ride out in carriage. 
 Letters. 
 
 " th inttant. Old stream of Ilyssus. Groves of Acad. 
 Home early to see tailor. Evening roam about St. Paul's 
 Hill : " unknown God." Home to tea. 
 
 " th instant. Off to Phalarum Bay. Any snipes in 
 marsh ? P.M. Wander among ruins ; reflections on. 
 DINNER AT EMBASSY. LETTERS." 
 
 The last sentence Mr. Snigsby has put in capitals, for 
 reasons which he does not explain. 
 
316 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; op, 
 
 The Snigsbys clearly made the most of their time, if the 
 above document is to be relied upon. And, indeed, they 
 seem to have enjoyed themselves. The autograph-book of 
 the hotel still retains their names and their testimony to 
 that effect, along with all the miscellaneous names and tes- 
 timonies of that volume ; in which you read, how Jones 
 liked Attica, and Brown liked the hotel, and the execrable 
 joke made by Higgs on the words "fare and fowl," to which 
 is subjoined with due signatures the announcement that 
 " three English gentlemen voted the writer of the above, an 
 ass." The English leave the oddest possible relic.s of them- 
 selves, in these parts of the world. The French leave their 
 cookery and their prints ; the Venetians have left architec- 
 ture ; our travellers leave their autographs and petty jokes. 
 Well, every one to his taste, as the proverb says ! Alfred 
 favored the very tomb of Socrates with his autograph, and 
 other names had been before him. 
 
 " Antiquities" being pretty well exhausted, what attrac- 
 tion had the capital to offer ? There was a court ; to be 
 sure, it was a little one ; with a little standing army, and 
 little ceremonies and snug little despotic ways of its own 
 scarcely rivalling a European one in anything but its debt 
 which was highly respectable in amount. There was a large 
 flat white palace, which I defy any one to look at without 
 wishing to stick bills on it. The whole affair was worthy 
 of the city which once boasted the Tub of Diogenes. But 
 see the fate of empires ! Just as the city has become most 
 ridiculous, it has got no wits I 
 
 This last was the remark at all events of a young English 
 gentleman at the table d'hote one day. There was usually a 
 rather pleasant party there a quiet old Russian patrician 
 who interested himself in what everybody said and was very 
 agreeable a Greek gentleman who had been at college at 
 Moscow a travelling architect, and so on. Mr. Snigsby, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 3ft 
 
 to do him justice, was fond of conversation. On this occa- 
 sion he pricked up his ears. 
 
 " Have you been Iftig in Athens, sir ?" he said to the 
 speaker, a perfectly self-possessed youth, who had every ap- 
 pearance of being a thorough-paced traveller. 
 
 " Came from Trieste yesterday. I should have been here 
 before, but I was detained at Malta on my way from Al- 
 giers." 
 
 " Indeed 1" said Mr. Snigsby. The company generally 
 glanced at the speaker, who was just pouring some wine into 
 his soup, with some curiosity. 
 
 *' And how, sir," said Mr. Snigsby,, " does the French 
 settlement there succeed ?" 
 
 " They're getting on very well. Bugeaud is not looking 
 so well as he used to do. All these old fellows are drop- 
 ping off. I saw Metternich in May ; his voice had got 
 quite shaky." 
 
 By this time the entire table began to confine its atten- 
 tion to the mysterious stranger. Mr. Snigsby felt the 
 necessity of continuing the conversation. The youth was 
 quite unconscious of anybody's attention apparently. 
 
 " Then, you seem to like Athens, as you " Mr. Snigsby 
 said. 
 
 11 1 like it? I hate the little hole ! It's all very well 
 when you come here as a boy you know, but it's keeping me 
 away from an old chum that I was to meet at Odessa, and 
 go home with." 
 
 " Hem," said Mr. Snigsby, looking perplexed and scarcely 
 knowing what to ask next. " And shall we have the plea- 
 sure of your company long ?" 
 
 " I hope not. It all depends on what turn affairs take. 
 They say Katwinkski i-s to be recalled. I don't feel sure 
 about it myself. Besides, who knows, I may have to take 
 a passage to Trieste with King Otho !" 
 
378 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 At this moment, Mr. Herbert Flower came in bearing a 
 carpet bag, which (between ourselves) contained his plain 
 clothes. Room at the table was ii^tantly made for that 
 youth. No sooner did his eye light on the mysterious one 
 than he nodded and said, " Why, hillo, Saunders, I have 
 not seen you since you were at Lisbon." Friendly recogni- 
 tion, and "wining" instantly followed. Mr. Saunders 
 talked away more briskly than ever, told innumerable anec- 
 dotes, all about public men of one class or another, many 
 of them bitter sarcasms of public men against each other. 
 The impression left by the whole was, that European poli- 
 tics were just a large selfish game played by men more or 
 less clever and unscrupulous, and none of whom excited any 
 particular reverence in Mr. Saunders. After dinner he took 
 a cigar out of his case, and announced that he was going 
 for " a stroll." 
 
 "Who is that?" inquired the Snigsbys, eagerly, after he 
 kad left the room. 
 
 Flower laughed. "That's our own correspondent," he 
 said, and named the journal. 
 
 " Dear me," said Mr. Snigsby, reverently. " A most in- 
 telligent young man he seems." 
 
 " Oh yes ; smart fellow enough." 
 
 "I wonder," said Mr. Snigsby, musingly, " what can be 
 the matter here. Something, sir, you may depend !" he 
 added solemnly. "I wonder if the government are in a 
 crisis. Pray, my lord," here he turned to the Russian no- 
 bleman who was always so polite, " do you know anything 
 of the state of politics here ?" 
 
 The Russian made a bland and negative inclination. 
 Russians don't talk politics in coffee-rooms, Mr. Snigsby ! 
 And indeed one reason that the English are such bad social 
 conversors is, that continual political talk spoils them. If 
 they were more literary they would be more elegant. 
 
FUN, FPIGATES, AND YACHTING. 379 
 
 Just then a waiter summoned Alfred, who disappeared. 
 Mrs. Snigsby had gone up stairs to their rooms ; Mr. Snigsby 
 remained, musing over his claret. I rather fancy he was 
 meditating some " speculation," and I know that he often 
 thought that this mere travelling without making money 
 was very absurd. He turned to Herbert Flower, who, in 
 political matters, was but a sorry resource. "What think 
 you, Flower ?" 
 
 Herbert shrugged the little shoulders. " I'm never in- 
 terested in politics, my dear sir. Politics, I take to be the 
 art of sending gentlemen into parliament, or promoting 
 them in the army and navy. My father does our share of 
 political business, for the present." 
 
 Mr. Snigsby smiled. "But have not you heard how 
 things are going on here, for example ?" 
 
 " Well, I understand the king's dunned," said Herbert, 
 laughing, " but, by gad, Pm dunned only Pm not a king." 
 
 "Dunned, sir, indeed?" said Mr/Snigsby, seriously. 
 
 "Yes, I made rather a good joke about it t'other day. 
 I said his Court was an Insolvent Court." Mr. Snigsby 
 grinned. 
 
 How beautiful was this romance of monarchy how fine 
 a thing to be a king under Otho's circumstances ! But if, 
 for him, we have no particular sympathy, let our chivalry 
 give a sigh to the lady of the house of Oldenburg with 
 the head too fair for such a crown sweet flower of beauty 
 among the ruins of the beauty of old, whose presence 
 might compensate an Athenian for the loss of the marbles 
 that charmed Pericles. 
 
 Just as they were sitting silent, in rushed the waiter, 
 flourishing a napkin. " Come out and look, sir. Come out, 
 sir 1" And a distant sound of voices, and the hurrying hoofs 
 of horses, were heard through the open doors of the hotel. 
 
 Mr. Snigsby, with true political curiosity, bounded to his 
 
380 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 feet and rushed, out accordingly. The hotel was in an up- 
 roar. The residents were running down stairs ; everybody 
 asking his neighbor what was the matter. Nobody could 
 answer with certainty. Only it was quite clear in the fresh 
 and moonlight evening, that the people of the town were 
 all swarming in crowds that the picturesque groups were 
 marching along towards the palace that lights were gleam- 
 ing now and then through its lofty windows. 
 
 Mr. Snigsby came running into the coffee-room again, 
 quite excited. " It's a REVOLUTION, Mr. Flower." 
 
 " Is it ?" said Flower. " Then, waiter, bring another pint 
 of claret and a cigar." 
 
 " Won't you come and look at it ?" said Mr. Snigsby in 
 surprise. 
 
 " I ? bless you ; no. Mind, waiter, the Lafitte." 
 
 While the waiter was attending to the order of Mr. 
 Flower, our friend Snigsby ran out again. The Hotel 
 d j Orient is situated near the palace, and the residents had 
 a capital view of the proceedings that night. The crowds 
 continued gathering, and now they gradually swelled into a 
 mass round the palace. And now began shouts discord- 
 ant, tempestuous hubbub round these white marble walls. 
 Presently, a horseman leaves the palace portico at a gallop 
 gallops down to the Artillery Barracks. Brief reply is 
 given to the message ; " Artillery decline to act 1" In- 
 creased hubbub follows, as the news is diffused through the 
 mob. And now begins a general yelling indicative, as is 
 explained to Mr. Snigsby, (who is watching the proceedings 
 with high constitutional emotions from a balcony,) that the 
 people of Athens would like to see his Majesty at his bal- 
 cony ! You have heard the call for " author," raised by a 
 literary gentleman's acquaintances at the close of a new 
 play ! Such was the yelling for his Majesty on the present 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 381 
 
 occasion ; they always call on kings, however, to have their 
 performances condemned. 
 
 And now the lights moved even more restlessly at the 
 windows of those wide white walls. Figures appear and 
 vanish there occasionally. Mr. Snigsby's emotions became 
 immense. He half knocked down a waiter, whom he met 
 carrying a lantern as he rushed to summon Flower again. 
 
 " Come, Mr. Flower come ! Listen to the roaring 
 there 1" 
 
 " Capital Lafitte, my dear sir," said Herbert, never mov- 
 ing an inch. 
 
 " Come out and see it, man," said old Snigsby. 
 
 "Bah, my dear sir leave my wine?" 
 
 Snigsby hurried off again,, and resumed his observation. 
 
 " Mr. Snigsby, sir," cried the waiter. 
 
 The old boy ran down once more. There was some hub- 
 bub going on at the door of the hotel. A lanky Albanian 
 so he seemed was hustled rudely in by an armed mob. 
 His cap fell off, and Mr. Snigsby recognised Alfred. 
 
 " Why what the devil's up now ?" he roared out to that 
 youth. 
 
 " I just went out," stammered Alfred, who was deadly 
 pale. 
 
 " In that dress, sir ?" shouted his father. "Go to bed, 
 sir. Waiter, show him to bed !" 
 
 Once more, Mr. Snigsby gained his point of observation. 
 The tumult was decidedly increasing nay, arms of various 
 kinds glittered more prominently in the moonlight. The 
 opening on the royal balcony began to move. Who shall 
 describe all the anxiety and terror going on within these 
 walls then ? Honor to the queenly heart, warm with the 
 blood of Gustavus which is true to one at this hour true 
 at once to the honor of its noble Northern birth, and the 
 Greek site of its Southern palace ! 
 
382 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 A figure appears on the balcony, and there is a dead hush 
 for a moment and a low murmur. The king ? No ! A 
 burst of yelling follows. This is a grim Bavarian most 
 unpopular man in Greece I The muskets gleamed still 
 more prominently. Dense roaring ensues. 
 
 " I wonder, sir, you dare show yourself I" roars stern old 
 
 , who heads the multitude. The grim figure retires in 
 
 again cursing rather deeply, we may imagine. 
 
 At last, the king appears. There is a shouting, and a 
 cry about "constitution," and the negotiation, and three 
 times three. And the mob slowly disperses and settles 
 down in its own dwellings. 
 
 " Well," said Mr. Snigsby, returning to the coffee-room, 
 " I call that a great spectacle I Vox populi, sir !" 
 
 " Now then ; sup," said Flower, finishing his second cigar. 
 " The Revolution has not spoiled my Lafitte." 
 
 " Here's the people !" said old Snigsby, joyously. 
 
 " Vivat Regina /" said Flower, with gallantry. Alfred 
 was already in bed. His first " lark" had terminated very 
 sadly in the classical city. 
 
 A few days afterwards, the Paragon slowly dropped out 
 of the harbor, bearing the Snigsbys for a slight cruise among 
 the islands. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 DIPLOMACY is like a funeral. It invests everybody en- 
 gaged in it with an air of sacred importance for the time. 
 Reflect on this, reader, and you will see that it is unusually 
 true for an epigram. Doth not poor Hobbins, slowly 
 marching with his black wand, look a loftier creature than 
 his brother plebeian ? Even so our friends at embassies 
 seem great men from their occupation ; and naval captains 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 383 
 
 become so, of course, when diplomatic duties devolve on 
 them. The captain of the " Intolerable," for example, was 
 twice the man, at least, when visiting a consul in the Archi- 
 pelago on political business. The captain of the " Verdant" 
 landed an armed party to call the Pasha of Snobkali to ac- 
 count for an insult to the British flag, and made the Pasha 
 apologize. Yet the captain of the " Yerdant" was not per- 
 sonally an important man ! Intrinsically, indeed, he was 
 Adam Jones, R. N., with scarcely talent enough to manage 
 a country post-office. Beautiful system, which " ennobles 
 whatever it touches !" Were " British interests" injured by 
 the revolution in my last chapter ? Not at all ; British in- 
 terests remained perfectly safe, and dined together as com- 
 fortably as ever the day after. Of course the captain of the 
 " Intolerable" felt that he, as senior officer of the squadron, 
 was the cause of this happy state of things, and Toadyley, 
 the mate, explained the same in the gun-room. Oddly 
 enough, this disinterested admirer of his captain happened 
 to do so in the hearing of the gun-room steward, who hap- 
 pened to tell it to the captain's steward, who happened to 
 tell it to the captain. Toadyley was a man to " get on, 
 sir," as old officers were wont to say. He rose by the pos- 
 session of certain qualities, which irreverent fellows like his 
 messmates did not appreciate. Short-sighted observers ! 
 What enableth the ape to maintain himself high up on 
 trees ? His prehensile tail ! Nature is rich. 
 
 These preliminary observations will give the reader to un- 
 derstand that the scene of our story is still classic. The 
 " Paragon," after cruising for a little while in the islands, 
 returned to the Piraeus. Mr. Snigsby, whose interest as a 
 politician in the revolution had been naturally very great, 
 was glad to learn that the king had accepted a constitution. 
 It was pleasant to him to see the regular old political busi- 
 ness going forward in the old way. The king not being fit 
 
384 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 for a king, why, of course, he must have one or two more 
 imbecile people to help him, and so everything would come 
 right. Frequently Mr. Snigsby broached the cheerful sub- 
 ject at the talk d'hote, the Russian bowing silently in answer 
 to his remarks as usual. The "own correspondent" had 
 gone to Odessa, and was charming the subscribers from that 
 quarter. Little did these subscribers know that the active 
 fellow was the same man who (aided by the Mediterranean 
 papers) charmed them at the same time from Algiers and 
 Beyrout I Alfred had kept very quiet since his latest ad- 
 venture, the particulars of which were indeed sufficiently 
 ludicrous. It seems that he had assumed the Albanian 
 dress on the evening of the revolution, and gone forth on an 
 Attic " lark." The partiality of the disciples of Brickies to 
 fancy dresses is well known ; they are the male "Bloomers" 
 of the age in their tastes ; and Alfred sallied forth on this 
 occasion in no ordinary spirits. Being addressed in the 
 Greek tongue in the Cafe de VEurope, he rejoiced in the 
 opportunity of " chaffing" a nation in a language which, 
 though known about the " coal-hole," and other similar 
 neighborhoods, had not as yet (though I doubt not it will, 
 the " fast" schoolmaster being abroad) become familiar to 
 the inhabitants of the East. The result was a row, and 
 that hustling of the youth into his hotel, previously de- 
 scribed. Perhaps the person who felt dullest about this 
 time, of the party, was Mrs. Snigsby, who had no society. 
 The English people abroad always assume brevet social 
 rank, and cut their proper equals if they get a chance. So 
 the Sempsters (Mrs. Sempster's father being a cadet of the 
 Highlow family, as Sempster's family know well) the 
 Sempsters, of their own Bustle Square, went to the Etran- 
 gers when they heard the Snigsbys were at L? Orient 
 picked out the same day to go to Eleusis, that the Snigbys 
 chose for going to Marathon, and somehow were always, 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 385 
 
 during their walks, on the otfor side of the Acropolis, One 
 would have expected the respective youths, Alfred and 
 Highlow Sempster, to fraternize. But Highlow, though 
 "fast,'' was that melancholy variety of the fast tribe a 
 fast Prig. Does the reader know this order of young 
 fellows solemn, conceited little sinners grave, pompous 
 reprobates fellows, as Fontenoy once said to me in his sav- 
 age way, who " voluntarily associate with the devil, and yet 
 seem to feel that they are patronizing him !" Highlow was 
 one of these, then, while Alfred was really a good fellow at 
 bottom ; he loved to write to a prize-fighter, and seal with 
 the Highlow shield, not knowing, as connoisseurs in heraldry 
 do, that he had no right to use his mother's arms, his father 
 not having any. Such was the youthful Sempster, who has 
 since sat for a borough, and married into a government 
 office under the auspices of old Riprigger, who gives young 
 gentlemen situations, on condition of their taking one of his 
 daughters into the bargain. A more determined aristocrat 
 than Sempster does not of course exist now ; for in our 
 times Mammon is the most bigoted of all aristocrats. If 
 you want to boast of youf " blue blood," do it in the com- 
 pany of men of fortune, whose grandfathers were trades- 
 men. 
 
 Mr. Snigsby had made np his mind to leave Athens, and 
 his final preparations for sea were being made on board the 
 yacht, under the auspices of Blobb, when our friend had an 
 opportunity of seeing a political spectacle. It must have 
 been gratifying to a constitutional heart. In a word, the 
 king's friends were leaving for Trieste in a steamer, escorted 
 to the very water's edge by cavalry, to save them from 
 " popular fury !" Popular fury, or the " rage of the rab- 
 ble" (so described by Brigg the attache himself, of course, 
 being sprung from emperors) accompanied the fugitives to 
 the harbor. Rarely has a more dignified spectacle been 
 
 17 
 
386 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OK, 
 
 presented to observation. That a king should be obliged 
 to send away his companions, and to have them cheerfully 
 pelted with mud by his loyal subjects ! Why, one would 
 rather act the king in a country barn ! Indeed, being a 
 king of Otho's class is very like following the theatrical 
 profession, and doing the royal parts. The poor monarch 
 was criticised in the newspapers like any stroller, hissed by 
 the public, and short of money into the bargain ! Mr. 
 Snigsby pitied him heartily as the "Paragon" left the har- 
 bor in the Trieste steamer's wake, and he saw the sulky 
 mustachioed gentlemen on the poop looking very fierce, yet 
 not sorry to be out of harm's way. What became of these 
 courtiers he never afterwards heard ; he supposed they went 
 to some other court, and doubtless they are hanging about 
 one to this hour, sneering at the " people" and living on 
 them. 
 
 The Squadron were still in the bay of Salamis. Mr. 
 Snigsby's party went on board the " Intolerable" to bid 
 them good bye there. We must fancy an affectionate part- 
 ing between the commander and Mr. Snigsby, accompanied 
 by a request from old Bilboes that he would take down a 
 huge chest of drawers to Malta for him, and accompany 
 Alfred, who is looking for Herbert Flower. 
 
 "Mr. Flower, sir?" " On the poop," said the quarter- 
 master. 
 
 Alfred ascended the ladder leading to that domain, and 
 found Herbert pacing about there. There was an air of 
 calm, yet satirical endurance about him. 
 
 " Well, 'Erbert, we're going to Malta. Come down and 
 have a chat for a minute." 
 
 " Hem !" said Herbert. 
 
 "Why, what's the matter?" 
 
 " I can't exactly leave the poop at this minute. (Stand 
 between me and old Bilboes a moment there.) The fact 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 387 
 
 is, I'm ordered to walk the poop by that old villain ; but 
 there's a pocket-pistol in that fire-bucket." 
 
 Alfred gave a demonstration of sympathy. 
 
 "Pooh! my dear fellow, the temporary triumph of the 
 obscure ! no more ! A mere result of temporary suprem- 
 acy. A similar thing happened to Sir Ralph Flower in 
 Charles's time, when the Roundheads were uppermost." 
 Herbert looked magnificently calm. 
 
 " Really, Pm very sorry," said the affectionate Alfred. 
 
 " Never mind. Everything in this world fluctuates. The 
 world, sir, as old Mehemet Ali loves to remark, is a wheel. 
 And our world here is a cart-wheel." 
 
 They paced aft, and Herbert explained how this punish- 
 ment had befallen him. Rarely do we meet with a more 
 monstrous case. Herbert's dog having fallen overboard, 
 Herbert had let go the life-buoy ; and for this Bilboes had 
 doomed him for a time to walk the poop ! 
 " So you are going to Malta?" Here Herbert mused a 
 minute, and then said, " Well, I heard you were likely to 
 go ; so I have a letter for you to take, if you will." 
 
 " Delighted," said Alfred. 
 
 The quartermaster was privately dsipatched to the gun- 
 room, and presently returned with a note, very neat in ap- 
 pearance, sealed with the magic roses, and addressed to 
 Miss Beddoes. 
 
 Alfred looked so knowing when he saw the direction ! 
 
 " Don't you remember the girl you danced with on board 
 here?" 
 
 " To be sure," Alfred said, digging him playfully in the 
 ribs. 
 
 " Well, didn't you think she was jolly good-looking ?" 
 
 " I did, indeed," the youth replied, with the same know- 
 ing look. Herbert smiled in a queer, quiet way. 
 
 " Just call when you arrive, and give her that then," he 
 
388 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 said. Alfred placed it most sacredly in his pocket, and felt 
 quite proud of the mission. It was drawing near the time 
 of departure now. Alfred, with all his "fastness," never 
 could get rid of that softness of temperament, which he 
 affected to attribute reproachfully to that hateful abstrac- 
 tion the "spoon." He grasped his friend's hand roman- 
 tically. " Good-bye, old feller ! I'm obliged for all your 
 kindness." 
 
 " Stuff, my boy," said Flower ; " that's the sort of thing 
 one says to one's schoolmaster at the end of a half. I've 
 not been kind to you. Pooh, pooh !" he continued, seeing 
 that Alfred was about to protest, and putting his hand over 
 his mouth. 
 
 " Yacht's boat's manned, sir," cried a voice from the 
 gangway. 
 
 " Take care of yourself, and don't forget the letter." 
 
 "Ah! Flower," said Alfred, "you affect to hide those 
 em" 
 
 "Bless us, Snigsby," said Herbert, "you should leave 
 'hint, ilia lachryma? to the Commons. You had better 
 take some saltpetre to sea a capital thing to cool wine 
 when you can't get ice ! And, I say, tell Muir to send up 
 George Sand's Consudo by the Brickbat, and make " 
 
 " Walk the poop, sir !" was the stern and brief sentence 
 from Bilboes, which cut short Herbert Flower's farewell. 
 He turned away to pace backwards and forwards as preten- 
 tiously as did ever Sir Ralph Flower himself, and the 
 Snigsbys got into their boat, the good lady of that name 
 having given many thanks for his " kindness" to the cap- 
 tain of the " Intolerable," who had been kind enough to 
 dine with them so often. Possibly we shall never be able 
 to approximate to anything like a just admeasurement of 
 obligations in this world. People's notions vary so I There 
 was Jack Pitt of the Lucifer : could mortal man have 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 389 
 
 been more cordially treated than Jack was, by the consul at 
 Snobkali ? Yet the recollection of the dissolution of that 
 friendship is fresh in my memory. Jack's words yet occa- 
 sionally haunt my ears : " He thinks," said the worthy 
 lieutenant, speaking of that consul's recent misconduct, and 
 red in the face " he thinks, because I eat his dinners, and 
 dine at his house, and ride his horses he thinks, sir, that 
 he is to call me Jack /" 
 
 The sails were loosed, the anchor up ; the Paragon 
 dropped away to sea, glimmering like a star along the coast, 
 getting a " clean bill of health" at Cerigo, and moving on 
 towards Malta. The autumn was very fast departing by 
 this time, and Mr. Snigsby longed to return to England. 
 That that country was undoubtedly the best in the long run 
 he frequently asseverated now ; and reminded his family 
 that they had now seen a good deal of the world, and that, 
 as to Alfred in particular, it was time for him to be " settling 
 down' 7 a favorite phrase of his. And certainly it is a 
 happy phrase though, of course, the value of anything in 
 the " settled-down" condition depends on the nature of the 
 mixture. Gooseberry and champagne both effervesce, but 
 the settling down leaves different results ; notwithstanding 
 the general notion that the wildness of youth is pretty 
 much the same thing in all youths. Alfred listened very 
 reasonably to the parental admonitions by this time, occu- 
 pying himself in the afternoon, as the yacht drifted along, 
 in arranging his various purchases his sabres and daggers, 
 and caps, and pipes, all which he destined to his future 
 "chambers;" for a secret, dearly-cherished feeling lurked 
 in Alfred's breast a determination to have "chambers'' 
 when he returned to England, and to keep himself clear 
 from the parental control for the future. A hoary moralist 
 delights and there is ground for the reflection to comment 
 on the little sympathy that exists between fathers and sons 
 
390 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 in the present age ; but if an old. gentleman has no princi- 
 ples nor faith of his own, how can he expect his son to 
 value anything about him but his money ? Show me a 
 youth who don't value that, and I will admit that our youth 
 are degenerate, as compared with their papas. 
 
 In due time, Malta gleamed along the surface of the wa- 
 ter, white and low, like a dumpling in a pot. The Snigsbys 
 thought they would sail briskly in, in the fine part of the 
 day. But they did not' know how it was though Blobb 
 did that the yacht reached in at night. It was too late 
 to go on shore then, and in the morning Mr. Blobb was ab- 
 sent. Snigsby remembered the mysterious sailing on the 
 occasion of their leaving for the Archipelago, and felt a dim 
 apprehension of some calamity ; but in the meantime they 
 established themselves once more at the old rooms in Strada 
 Keale. The island was dull at this time, and most of the 
 squadron away those commanded by people of " interest 7 ' 
 dawdling about the Ionian islands the working and obscure 
 ones, on the contrary, were at such places as Beyrout or 
 Tunis ; while the admiral, in command of all, was snug in 
 his house on shore, in a kind of seedy tranquillity, if the 
 phrase be intelligible. Sir Booby Booing was a good judge 
 of value. He was lavish of his intellect in dispatches and 
 orders but very sparing with his table-money 1 He knew 
 the worth of things " he did," as Lieutenant Hireling 
 would say ; and he did not patronize society much, chiefly 
 that of wandering people of rank, who make a convenience 
 of the public authorities, getting passages in men-of-war from 
 them, and patronizing their families, and cutting them after- 
 wards in England, in the regular hackneyed old way. 
 
 Mr. Alfred Snigsby arrayed himself, the next morning 
 after their arrival, in his most sumptuous style. He was 
 going to call at the quiet respectable lodgings of Captain 
 Beddoes, where dwelt the fair Lucy, and the captain's maiden 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 391 
 
 sister, an old lady of reading and sewing propensities. The 
 captain was away at the club ; and Alfred, who walked up 
 stairs in some perturbation, found there Lucy by herself, 
 looking fresh, white and trim as a camellia. The favorite 
 ideal lady of a " Bricklesian " is a smart damsel, well ac- 
 quainted with light literature, something of a flirt in her 
 manners, and tant soil pen of a "snob" in her feelings. 
 Lucy, however, was a quiet little girl, with just enough sen- 
 timent to sadden her, whose perception of fun was rather a 
 matter of heart-sympathy than of acuteness, (and so more 
 akin to genius,) and who, brought up always in the pecnliar 
 worldly atmosphere of garrison life, was worldly and ortho- 
 dox from timidity somewhat, A spoiled high character, to 
 meet which (as you do constantly) has an effect h'ke drop- 
 ping on a flower used as a marker in a heavy materialist 
 volume ! 
 
 How much depends on natural good feeling ! Hireling, 
 above mentioned, (formerly of H. M. Brig SNOB,) Hire- 
 ling, I say, deputed, once, to report to his commander the 
 news of the death of his nearest relative, did it thus : put- 
 ting his head inside the cabin door, " Come on board, sir," 
 said he, " your father's dead." 
 
 Alfred's obvious good feeling was in his favor. Lucy was 
 up, and said she was glad to see him. Alfred envied Her- 
 bert Flower. 
 
 " Let me see," he began, after remarking that Malta was 
 dull, " IVe a note for you from Herbert Flower," and he 
 produced it. 
 
 " Oh," said Lucy, "I hope he's well. Does he keep on 
 good terms with his commander, now ?" 
 
 She played with the note, and glanced at the seal, as if 
 la uihing at Mr. Flower's profusion of armorial wax. Alfred 
 thought he ought to say good morning. How anxious she 
 must be to read it ! He rose up. 
 
392 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 " Oh, don't hurry, Mr. Snigsby : I expect my father in 
 every moment," said Lucy, putting down the &till unopened 
 note ; and she began to talk about all the most lively sub- 
 jects of the day. At last, however, Alfred felt the cap- 
 tain still not having arrived that he really ought to go ; 
 but he found he was wonderfully more at ease with the 
 young lady than before. The chat was very lively, just as 
 he was saying good morning. 
 
 " So, Herbert still occasionally excites the captain r s 
 wrath," Lucy said, laughing. 
 
 " Oh, yes ; perhaps Commander Bilboes is jealous of him," 
 said Alfred, gallantly, 
 
 "Of his high-flown names of kinsmen, and his ancestral 
 roses, as he calls them ?" Lucy laughed again, and looked 
 at the seal. 
 
 " Of the, rose, perhaps, 7 ' said Alfred, bowing, and inwardly 
 wishing that he was dressed as Don Caesar de Bazan his 
 favorite ideal. 
 
 Lucy blushed and looked demure. ' " Oh, Herberts heart, 
 like his shield, holds a whole bouquet of them. You're mis- 
 taken about him. I think you have been deluded by your 
 own chivalry there, Mr. Snigsby." 
 
 Lucy giggled as she spoke, but her blush was earnest ; 
 and she meant it to be so. 
 
 " Well, I must bid you good morning. I shall hope to 
 find the captain in, again/' 
 
 " He will be very glad to see you," said Lucy. 
 
 " Good morning." 
 
 " Good bye, Mr. Snigsby." 
 
 The drawing-room door closed ; Alfred's foot resounded 
 on the stair ; Luoy seized the letter, and listened : the street 
 door resounded hollowly. The wax cracked in an instant, 
 and she began to read. 
 
 Will our story be declared improbable for communicating 
 
Fux, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 393 
 
 the pnrport of Mr. Herbert Flower's note ? How Alfred's 
 heart would have beat, if he had known that it was a kind 
 dof sentimental letter of credit for him, wherein Flower had 
 favorably commended him to his young friend the Lucy 
 with whom he had flirted from childhood as a very promis- 
 ing match. 
 
 "You see, Lucy dear," said the youth's note, "sentiment 
 reminds me, sometimes, though I don't deal much in meta- 
 phors, of perfumes. People don't use perfumes, unless they 
 can afford cambric ; and sentiment is a superfluity compared 
 with fortune. Really, this strikes me as pretty ! I com- 
 mend you to a brilliant establishment ; and we part, don't 
 we, luckily, if we can be torn away without bleeding ? Se- 
 riously, your papa would be delighted with the match, and 
 so would our family. You have too much sense to call me 
 bad-hearted, for saying all this, I know. I shall keep half 
 a lock of your hair, for old acquaintance sake." 
 
 Lucy read this effusion with a shade more emotion than 
 Herbert had written it with ; and laughed a good deal less 
 than he had done : but neither of them suffered very deeply. 
 
 When Captain Beddoes came home to a quiet family din- 
 ner, Lucy informed him that the Snigsbys had returned, and 
 one of them called with a note from Flower. 
 
 " Hah, rich people, Rivers was saying," the captain said, 
 carelessly ; " the old man was very civil to me at the Intoler- 
 able's ball. We'll ask them here, if you like." 
 
 "Just as you please, papa," said Lucy, simply. 
 
 " Sure it wouldn't bore you ?" 
 
 " Oh no ; they seem kind, well-meaning people." 
 
 " Ah, we'll arrange about it." 
 
 At the same time, Alfred was narrating his visit to his 
 family, and failed not to remark that Lucy was "jolly good- 
 looking." 
 
 11* 
 
394 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 
 
 THE ordinary notions of the requirements in an alliance 
 might be summed up for general purposes as follows : 
 Money and birth if possible but, at all events, money ! 
 Here and there a stray fellow plumes himself upon his an- 
 cestors, and declines to mix the paternal stream with blood 
 which, like the Sacramento, brings mud along with the gold. 
 But even such a stray fellow is found frequently to reflect 
 that, while he has barely money enough for one, he has 
 " blood" enough for two. This philosophical reflection once 
 admitted, the mind wonderfully opens to the more liberal 
 notions on these points. A pecuniary prospect dawns 
 clearer and clearer. Some young lady of means is forth- 
 coming, and the " prejudices of antiquity" glide gradually 
 away. She has been born with a silver spoon in her mouth, 
 and he puts his crest on it what can be more delightfully 
 harmonious ? In this way all ranks of us are gradually 
 mingling in England, and intolerance in classes is becoming 
 daily more hateful and ridiculous. Now and then, to be 
 sure, somebody exclaims 
 
 " Leave us still our old nobility ;" 
 
 but, as a general rule, the length of a man's pedigree by no 
 means atones for the length of his ears. 
 
 These highly philosophical remarks have been suggested 
 by the circumstances mentioned in the last chapter. Alfred 
 Snigsby left the Strada decidedly impressed with Miss Bed- 
 does' beauty. We have seen how susceptible he was on a 
 former occasion, and now the favorite vision of " chambers" 
 lost its attraction, and he began to form a new ideal that 
 of his being the presiding spirit of a country house, and 
 giving breakfasts on hunting mornings to the neighboring 
 
Fox, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 395 
 
 gentry. With regard to the consent of parents there was 
 no difficulty to be apprehended. Her AlPs happiness was 
 Mrs. Snigsby's only object ; and his father, who knew that 
 he would have to make a settlement on him some time, had 
 philosophy enough to reflect that it might as well happen 
 now as at a future period. (And it required some philoso- 
 phy to know this, at least, if we may judge by the irrational 
 prejudices of so many parents to whom instant disbursement 
 is so ridiculously awful.) We must therefore consider Al- 
 fred in the capacity of suitor ; and sympathize with him in 
 his suit. We can fancy how one call led to another, and 
 the second to an excursion to Citta Yecchia ; and how 
 their names were mentioned together in social gossip ; and 
 how soon Miss Lucy contrived to inform him that never had 
 she thought of Herbert Flower except with the ordinary 
 affection of an old family friend. Alfred wrote to that 
 youth to say how happy he was ; and received a most cor- 
 dial reply, with a postcript respecting something he had or- 
 dered from a well-known firm in Strada Pocco, which had 
 not attended to him punctually as usual. The conduct of 
 the worthy Captain Beddoes was a model of quiet tact. 
 He first satisfied himself by corresponding with an old 
 friend, a " man of the world," in London, who ascertained 
 the Snigsbaean fortune with the accuracy of an accountant ; 
 and then to use a classical metaphor of no ordinary beau- 
 ty he lay down at leisure, and listened to the murmur of 
 the Pactolus which was to enrich his house. Never did 
 anybody manage to escape being bored with the prelimina- 
 ries better than he ; and when an intimate or two, men of 
 the world likewise, asked any questions about the matter, 
 he shrugged his shoulders. " People of fortune, sir/' was 
 the phrase which, like the Allah akhbar of the Mussulman, 
 expressed the essence of his reflections on the subject. An 
 easy, experienced, loo-loving, sherry-consuming old gentle- 
 
396 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 man, brought up in good old garrison traditions, he accepted 
 the piece of luck, just as he would have done a fluke at bil- 
 liards without particular comment yet quietly making it 
 up. He showed Alfred a good deal of dignified attention, 
 and asked him to dinner at the mess, and when he had oc- 
 casion to scrawl a note to Mr. Snigsby, senior, he im- 
 pressed him considerably by the use of a ferocious-looking 
 but harmless old " wyvern," which adorned his seal. In 
 the meantime, the yacht was lying in the harbor, and Blobb 
 was passing his mornings one may suppose as usual, at 
 the " Shepherd and Shepherdess." Here he pursued the 
 classic game of skittles among his peers occasionally giv- 
 ing snug little entertainments on board the " Paragon," 
 when he entertained his guests with dry sarcastic observa- 
 tions on the Snigsbys, his employers. These, as we have 
 before seen, he had long since discerned not to be "regular 
 swells." Few things are more amusing and interesting than 
 the aristocratic tendencies of men like Mr. Blobb. It is a 
 real old piece of superstition that tendency which they have, 
 to respect a genuine " swejl." For they are not to be im- 
 posed upon by mere money. Lord Blory as his tradesmen 
 knew was not rich. Nevertheless, Blobb respected him as 
 an ancient Briton did a Druid and entertained a mystic 
 awe for his ancestors. It is common to speak of the present 
 as an " enlightened" age. But wherever there is stupidity 
 there is " darkness." The fact is the present age believes 
 in ghosts to an extent which no previous age ever paraL 
 leled in the ghosts of institutions, my dear reader in the 
 ghosts of all sorts of mediaeval figures, which have not the 
 reality people pretend to see in them at all. "Ancestors" 
 are very noble possessions to a man who is right worthy 
 and able himself ; but to my mind, the more ancestors a 
 blockhead has, of eminence, the worse it is for him. To 
 such a man the ashes of the dead, had he any feeling, would 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 397 
 
 be like coals of fire ! All this has only, however, an indi- 
 rect application to Mr. Blobb ; Mr. B.'s regard for Lord 
 Blory's ancestors was interesting and illustrative ; it was 
 something so darkly and mysteriously reverent ! I verily 
 believe that some people fancy the " lower orders" never 
 had any forefathers at all but sprang out of clay in some 
 unexplained manner a few generations back. 
 
 We must however return to Alfred, who now assumes an 
 unusual importance, on account of the event which is sup. 
 posed to be impending. If is amusing to see the tender 
 the rather melancholy interest which invests a person in 
 his situation. Though, to be sure, courtship, unless of the 
 high-flying, passionate, and poetic character, (we could do a 
 little in that way if we liked, reader ! ) is a very dull affair 
 to describe. For after all there goes so much common-place 
 to make it up. Like " swizzle," as was remarked by a naval 
 friend in a philosophic mood, it is two parts water ! It com- 
 prises so many ordinary every-day proceedings, such lunch- 
 ing, and dining, and walking when it will come on to rain, 
 such fluctuation of moods, and ebbing and flowing of tides 
 of fancy, that it is apt to be prosaic in detail. Then, as 
 genius is more shown in making details interesting than in 
 anything else, it becomes a very hard thing to treat of in 
 fiction. And one is driven to generalities, and to request 
 the reader to fancy Mr. Alfred Snigsby paying his addresses 
 to Miss Beddoes from day to day. Lucy, who with all her 
 simplicity has a kind of tact of which she is half conscious 
 which gives her insight into character, has several times 
 arrived at the conclusion, and always deliberately shut her 
 eyes when face to face with the same, that Mr. Alfred is 
 a fool, shall I say ? Why, not exactly. No. She does not 
 like to say that, and she strives to reconcile matters, by say- 
 ing to herself, that she has no right to judge harshly of any- 
 body. And this pleasant sophistry, which, I apprehend. 
 
398 SWELL LIFE AT SEA ; OR, 
 
 everybody carries on more or less, is very like a habit of 
 taking laudanum, which grows upon one, and at last be- 
 comes, instead of a pleasant variety, a most miserable neces- 
 sity. It was all the more painful too, of course, for Lucy 
 to observe that Alfred had no suspicion whatever of the 
 same kind himself. The truth is, that the disciples of 
 Brickies (and I am anxious to illustrate in this story the 
 effect of the writings of that great man) mistake their su- 
 perficial contempt for all that is serious in life, for a sort of 
 Talleyrandish superiority to it. They think, poor fellows, 
 that when they have grinned at " earnestness," and sneered 
 at anything professing a "purpose," they have risen into 
 some lofty Machiavellian height from which they can look 
 down. Hence though the high Bricklesian, perhaps, can 
 manage to keep the sneering worldly height with some suc- 
 cess permanently, as a dog can stand on his hind legs after 
 very much practice, the weaker Bricklesian becomes ten 
 times more infatuated, when he gets what he calls " spoony," 
 than anybody else. And so far was Alfred from knowing 
 his weakness, that to adopt a saying of Fontenoy's one 
 of those disgracefully acrid sayings which shock all right- 
 minded people, " he carried his ears as if they were laurels." 
 Encouraged by Lucy's encouragement, he began to blend 
 with his " spooniness" a sort of semi-comic tone, and I dare 
 say sometimes thought that the fact that he, the brilliant 
 Alfred, should meditate matrimony, was a falling-off, and a 
 joke. It was no joke to Lucy, however. 
 
 One morning Mr. Alfred Snigsby might have been ob- 
 served seated at his desk in Strada Reale, with a very bril- 
 liant sheet of paper before him still untouched, though there 
 were several blurred, blotted, and scribbled ones beside 
 him. The fact is, he was about to make his formal propo- 
 sal ! And though he had been virtually " accepted " for 
 some time, yet there is a point in every courtship, my good 
 
FUN, FKIGATES, AND YACHTING. 399 
 
 reader, when sentimental generalities have to concentrate 
 themselves and assume a practical form. 
 
 The Practical (with a big P) vindicates its right always 
 in due time. There never was a religion yet which did not 
 require bricks and mortar to build with ; that touching sen- 
 timent, commercial confidence, will embody itself, every now 
 and then, in an I O U. Courtship leads to settlements. 
 So, Alfred had made up his mind to put the formal question 
 to Miss Beddoes, and to pour out his expectations to her 
 papa. He tried, poor fellow, while concocting the epistles, 
 to persuade himself into a light, easy, comic view of the 
 matter. But there was a fullness about the throat which 
 did not exactly proceed from the effects of his Joinville, and 
 a general sensation of his uneasiness, which belied his grin. 
 At last he finished the notes, and sent them off. And then 
 he emerged from the house into Strada Reale. I regret to 
 say that he then went into "Joe MicallePs," for he wanted 
 some " soda and curacoa" to " set him up." 
 
 " Morning, sar !" said Joe, in his affable way. Joe was 
 presiding at his counter there, with the usual stump of a 
 cigar in his mouth. There was also one naval youth there, 
 (of course) young Rlcketts, of the Polypus who had a 
 nodding acquaintance with Alfred, and who nodded accord- 
 ingly, and said 
 
 " Queer this morning out late. Supped at the Govern- 
 or's devilled kidneys mulled port." Which sentences, 
 Rieketts of the Polypus jerked out in a fragmentary man- 
 ner, without adding a single phrase ; just as he had jerked 
 them out to three different casual visitors of " Joe's" that 
 morning. 
 
 Alfred stayed dawdling about "Joe's" in a wretched 
 state of uncertainty. First of all he kept looking at the 
 clock, and wondering whether his note for Lucy had 
 reached ; whether his note to her parent had reached ; 
 
400 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 when the answer would come, &c. " Now," thought Mr 
 Alfred, " she is just writing." 
 
 In truth, Lucy was writing. And if the reader will per- 
 mit me, we will peep into the drawing-room of her dwelling, 
 and see her. I have her image before me at this moment 
 a slight delicate girl what Mr. Herbert Flower was wont 
 to call to his intimate friends, a Poppet that is, with a 
 certain innocent dollishness of prettiness, which to some 
 people is peculiarly enchanting. There she sits radiant in a 
 light morning dress ; the airy, beautiful coolness of which 
 seems like a piece of English summer inside the Southern 
 summer. Before her is a most brilliant ink-stand, and 
 several sheets of creamy paper and she has broken at least 
 three flowers to pieces in musing over the subject which 
 occupies her attention. At last she begins, and she looks 
 up to her aunt, who is sitting beside her. Miss Beddoes, 
 that maiden lady, is a most excellent person, not given to 
 developing herself in talk, but who turns out, if you get 
 friendly with her, to be considerably " up " in controversial 
 theology. 
 
 " Well, aunt," Lucy said, " I suppose I must write I I 
 suppose I ought to ought to be very happy oughtn't I ?" 
 
 " My dear, you ought to know best. I would not under- 
 take the responsibility of advising you on so serious a mat- 
 ter 1 You are aware that in a worldly point of view (how 
 beautifully do these periphrases, my dear reader, avoid the 
 unpleasantness of using the word 'money V) in a worldly 
 point of view the match is one which would be quite satis- 
 factory to your family. Perhaps, my dear, you would like 
 to have me, in perfect confidence, consult Mr. Fatton ?" 
 
 (Our readers have not, I hope, forgotten the Rev. Mr. 
 Fatton, of St. Kilderkin. The Rev. Mr. F., who openly 
 denounces the " confessional " of the rival establishment, is 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 401 
 
 yet given to a little private confession and absolution among 
 his flock in a quiet way.) 
 
 " No, thank you, dear," said Lucy, a little drily. 
 
 " You must then consult your own heart alone, my dar- 
 ling." 
 
 Lucy made a dash at the note. 
 
 " DEAR MR. SNIGSBY (It's certainly a strange name.)" 
 
 " I dare say, as you are an heiress, he might be induced 
 to take your name, my dear if that is a serious objection." 
 "I have to thank you," resumed Lucy, " for the kind letter 
 which you have sent me ; and I hope I am not insensible of 
 the honor of the proposal which it conveys. I do not think 
 you will find that I fail to appreciate the sentiments which 
 have prompted it ; and I shall be happy to hear from my 
 father, in such a spirit, as I expect him to treat the offer 
 which you tell me you have made to him. 
 
 " Yery sincerely, L. B." 
 
 " There, aunt ! that's civil enough and common-place 
 enough and un-romantic enough, I hope !" 
 
 And up started Lucy, in some agitation, and looked at 
 herself in the glass, and bathed her forehead in eau de Co- 
 logne. 
 
 " For goodness sake, be calm, my darling," said her aunt, 
 folding up the note gently, but promptly. 
 
 " You approve it, aunt ?" said Lucy, looking very much 
 as if she were going to cry. 
 
 " It is quite correctly worded, my dear, I think." 
 
 In ten minutes more the note was sent off. 
 
 So far so good. Meanwhile Alfred's note to Captain 
 Beddoes reached that officer at the club, and was handed to 
 him just as he was playing billiards. He glanced at it it 
 was his turn he made a very pretty winning hazard, and 
 
402 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 then leaving himself very safe read it at his leisure. A 
 youth who had been watching the game, strolled out, leav- 
 ing the Captain alone with his very old chum a certain 
 old Colonel Bechamel with whom he was playing. 
 
 " I suppose there's no harm in showing it to you," said 
 he, pitching it across. 
 
 " Hah 1" said the Colonel resuming his cue, " that tali 
 young fellow I know him. Plenty of money, I. think you 
 said. Well, Pm glad to hear it. To be sure, Lucy's a girl 
 that ought to marry anybody she likes." 
 
 " You're kind always ; you good old Bechamel. But 
 you and I have lived long enough to know that money is 
 after all the great thing in these times." 
 
 " Yes," said Bechamel ; " you know what poor old Blory 
 used to say ? ' They use us old families/ said he, ' as they 
 do the ancient remains in Greece patch brick walls with 
 us I' How like Blory that was !" 
 
 " Clever man to be sure. He might have done anything 
 he liked." 
 
 " So I told him ; and he said he preferred doing every- 
 thing he liked. And he certainly did it !" 
 
 " We won't play any more, then." 
 
 " No." 
 
 The two old veterans left the club, and crossed the square. 
 As they walked along, they chatted about the matter in 
 hand, and parted with more warmth than usual, as men who 
 care for each other do, when anything of consequence to 
 either of them has been the subject of conversation. The 
 captain moved on, musing on Mr. Alfred's letter on the 
 advantage of having a rich son-in-law, and wondering 
 whether it would not be a good thing for the youth to go 
 into a dragoon regiment for a year or two. That would 
 polish him up, the captain very justly thought, reasoning 
 (without the aid of Rochefoucault, who has made the obser- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 403 
 
 vation) that Pair bourgeois se perd quclquefois d Parmee. But 
 by this time he was at home. 
 
 There were two gentlemen there, making a call on the 
 ladies ; but the captain caught his daughter's eye, and they 
 exchanged glances. 
 
 " Heard the news, Beddoes ?" said Captain Trivet. 
 
 " News ?" (the captain smiled inwardly ;) " what news ?" 
 
 " Oh ! the Alexandrian mail's come in a great battle 
 in India." 
 
 "Ah! bless me I" 
 
 " Of course, we've thrashed the fellows, 7 ' said little Trivet, 
 (who has not been in action, that I am aware of,) compla- 
 cently ; " but several of our fellows of high rank are killed. 
 You remember Philabeg Herbert ?" 
 
 " Major in the th ? I know." 
 
 " Most gallant charge killed with a round shot.' 1 
 
 " Poor fellow !" said the captain. " Then, that young 
 midshipman in the Bustard comes in to the estates ?" 
 
 " There's the odd part of it. I've just heard in fact it's 
 come out now that old Philabeg's killed that ahem ! 
 You see, this young Herbert, or youth called Herbert, we'll 
 say "Trivet grinned "can't succeed. The estates are 
 most rigidly entailed on ah ! the real Herberts most 
 awful thing for this poor boy in the Bustard to find out all 
 about his his unfortunate position now I" 
 
 The captain gave a low, strange whistle of an eccentric 
 and prolonged description. "And who succeeds, then?" 
 And here he rose and brought out the " Landed Gentry," 
 which occasionally amused his long evenings, and turned to 
 the " Herberts of Cockrow Tower." Of course, there was 
 a "Ranulphus de Herbert;" and there was an "ancient 
 rhyme" which tradition had "preserved," (which Tradition, 
 by the way, too often " preserves" mere offal, as the Admi- 
 ralty contractors do,) viz., this beautiful fragment 
 
404 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " When ye De Herbert doth ride, 
 Woe doth ye churl betide." 
 
 And there was a De Herbert who was a "favorite" of 
 some king ; and there was a "from whom descended" (con- 
 cerning which favorite, little, sly line, reader, you and I 
 have our suspicions, perhaps, often ;) and, finally, you came 
 upon firm substantial pepigree about Charles's time. You 
 then saw that is, our friend the captain did how few 
 Herberts there had been every generation ; and that, finally, 
 the late Major not having left legitimate issue, the estates 
 would revert to the issue of his great-grandfather's daugh- 
 ter, Ada , married in 17 , to CHARLES HENRY 
 
 FLOWER of FLORY. 
 
 " By Jove !" said Captain Beddoes, rising solemnly, like 
 a Presbyterian about to say grace " by Jove ! the FLOW- 
 ERS get that splendid property 1" 
 
 " What, papa F said Lucy, flushing all red with surprise, 
 " our friends ?" 
 
 " To be sure ; won't young Herbert be delighted ? Now, 
 Lucy, it will be a graceful thing, as we're old friends of the 
 family, for you to write and tell Herbert the news. His 
 ship's at Athens, and he will have it from you first of all." 
 
 Lucy left the room ; and when she was snug in her own 
 room, what with emotion and the excitement of the day, 
 and looking at Herbert Flower's last letter to her, (which, 
 in my private opinion, it was about time for her to have 
 burned before this,) she cried bitterly. A water-lily in a 
 shower of rain -oh, reader ! did you ever see that ? How 
 the river is quivering all round it, and the broad leaves pat- 
 ter and dip, and the whole white beauty of the flower is 
 shivering and glancing in a fever of excitement ! Such-like 
 was our friend Lucy then. If you remark, it is only at a 
 certain period, perhaps even by accident, that one finds out 
 that one has a real heart. Circumstances, education, may 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 405 
 
 have made one feel worldly, and look worldly ; but sud- 
 denly, by what you may call a conversion, an impulse it 
 may be a death, it may be a pretty face your whole emo- 
 tions are awakened, and you seem a new man or woman. 
 For, under the thickest conventionalism, there lies plenty 
 of emotion, just as under solid old London and its founda- 
 tion of chalk there is plenty of the purest of water. 
 
 But Lucy had to come down in due time, and the three 
 Beddoeses dined together. And then there was a private 
 interview between Lucy and her father ; and next morning 
 Captain Beddoes dressed himself elaborately, and visited 
 Mr. Alfred Snigsby, who, in spite of his " knowingness," in 
 spite of his acquaintance with the writings of Brickies, who 
 had sneered at matrimony, and other things holy, till his 
 whole moral nature (like his nose) had a sneering turn up- 
 wards towards heaven ! in spite of all this, was, to speak 
 his own beautiful language, in a " very great funk." Old 
 Beddoes, who was a gentleman, (not a manufactured gen- 
 tleman, made out of the raw material, but a born one,) con- 
 ducted the delicate matter with the greatest tact. Alfred 
 was an accepted suitor. 
 
 The reader is now requested to follow me to the " Intole- 
 rable." The Squadron is still in the Archipelago, putting 
 the Eastern question to rights. The affair is conducting 
 itself beautifully. Snogg at Lemnos has landed a party of 
 armed men, and bullied a Pasha into " apologizing" for 
 something a great triumph for Snogg, who inherits a turn 
 for severe officiality from his grandfather the beadle. Snogg 
 has made a long dispatch about this. Snogg has become 
 more pompous than ever on account of this. Snogg now, 
 more successfully than ever, helps to spoil that climate, and 
 make miserable the brig " Lotos," for the two midshipmen 
 he most hates MAXWELL ADAIR, who is a scholar, and 
 
SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 pleasant CHARLES HILDERSTONE, who quarters the arms of 
 the Plantagenets. Meanwhile, at Athens, the squadron 
 are enjoying the hospitalities of the Minister, including Bul- 
 bous, who keeps the entire Greek ministry waiting dinner 
 at the embassy half an hour, comes in red and reeking, 
 when everybody is disgusted with waiting, and then (mark 
 this as a trait in vulgar people generally) is sulky with the 
 company all day, because he has annoyed them ! And so the 
 affairs of the East arrange themselves, and Greece is put 
 to rights in the orthodox manner. 
 
 It happened that the note of Lucy Beddoes found Mr. 
 Herbert Flower, by an odd coincidence, where we left him, 
 viz., walking the poop for punishment ! I don't say that 
 he has been there during the whole interval, but he had cer- 
 tainly been sent there that morning, by the worthy Bilboes, 
 for some offence against discipline. Fancy his delight when 
 the news came. It turned his head. He gently walked 
 below without consulting the authorities. " Steward," he 
 roared, " half-a-dozen of champagne \ n Astonishment seized 
 the mess. 
 
 11 1 thought you were on the poop, Mr. Flower," said 
 Toadyley. 
 
 "Did you?" said Herbert, in reply. "We think many 
 strange things. I once thought all officers were gentlemen, 
 but I know better. The corkscrew !" 
 
 Toadyley turned pale, and eyed a cane which stood in a 
 corner of the gun-room. He was wondering whether it 
 would be "safe" to "lick" Mr. H. F. 
 
 " Pop" went the first bottle. But here the right-minded 
 reader's mind suggests a question to him was not this 
 glee rather odd on Mr. Flower's part glee on the strength 
 of the slaugther of an old gentleman who was his father's 
 cousin ? 
 
 My dear reader, when the late Lord K , my long- 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 407 
 
 descended neighbor, who bore a title renowned in the his- 
 tory of our native land, received the unexpected news of his 
 uncle's death, which placed him in the estate and title 
 " What !" cried he, " is the old fellow dead, screwed down, 
 and all safe l n Let us proceed. 
 
 Bottle after bottle went " pop" likewise ; and presently 
 a loud cheer reached the ears of Commander Bilboes in the 
 ward-room. Mr. Flower's friends were welcoming the news 
 which he told them ; and by this time Mr. Toady ley had 
 conveyed the intelligence of Mr. Flower's desertion of his 
 station to the commander's ear. The commander, in high 
 indignation, sent for him ; and the youth, first looking 
 round to see that there was no witness within hearing, stole 
 up to the commander, and spoke thus (horresco referens .') 
 " Come, sir, you are talking like a tyrant ! You are a 
 tyrant, with the heart of a flunkey, and the manners of a 
 boor ! You delight to inflict petty annoyances on the gen- 
 tlemen whom accident has put under your power " 
 
 " Sen-try ! Sentry !" roared old Bilboes, gasping for 
 breath. " Come here, sentry !" a cry which brought the 
 marine running to his side. Mr. Flower declined, however, 
 to repeat his vigorous sentence ; but he was sent below 
 " under arrest." " Under arrest" is a favorite mode of in- 
 spiring terror with some commanders, but is not always very 
 successful. "D n him," said Gunne of the Orson, of one 
 of his midshipmen whom he had subjected to this restraint, 
 and who took it philosophically, " he gets fatP Herbert 
 Flower, like Gunne's victim, showed a tendency to take the 
 matter easily. So they sent him on to Malta to be dealt 
 with by Sir Booby Booing. Sir Booby loved punishing. 
 He loved to bite, though he hadn't a tooth in his head. 
 He was in his second childhood ; and, as in childhood, 
 children smash toys, in second childhood admirals smash 
 officers. 
 
408 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 A youth who has health, pluck, and hope, and loves his 
 intellectual independence, feels no particular awe of an 
 imbecile old gent, in a seedy, blue coat ; and Herbert 
 Flower's interview with Sir B. B., to whom he was intro- 
 duced with awful ceremonies by flunkies arid flag-lieutenants, 
 left no permanent impression on his mind. (I have heard 
 him regret that the admiral was not more particular in his 
 toilette.) The upshot was, that Mr. Herbert Flower was 
 discharged to the Kabob to await a passage to England, 
 and went on shore when he pleased from that vessel. In- 
 deed, he may be said to have now become what naval men 
 call a " T. G." a travelling gentleman. It was probably 
 this feeling which induced him to wear plain clothes always 
 when on shore. The affliction which he had suffered in the 
 loss of Major Herbert, at the battle of Blarianshillah, (the 
 major had been sent into a jungle with a company to attack 
 10,000 Ramsharigs, heavily armed !) was proclaimed out- 
 wardly by the most elegant mourning the appearance of 
 which of course naturally led to inquiries which inquiries 
 led to the explanation of the luck which had befallen the 
 house of Flower. The excessive buoyancy and audacity the 
 news had produced in him was something wonderful ; he 
 openly proclaimed, in Ricardo's, his intention of " standing 
 for the county." He would then announce his contempt 
 for Sir Gruffin Ribs, who at present enjoyed that honor 
 Sir Gruffin Ribs, the inventor of the Patent Potato-Crusher, 
 who had purchased huge estates there. " Fact is," Herbert 
 would say, " we were too poor to contest it, and the great 
 magnate, the Duke of , wouldn't condescend to inter- 
 fere except, by-the-by, when that man, Creekles, tried it ; 
 d n it, that was going too far, as the duke observed !" 
 All this, with the shrugging of the little shoulders, and 
 the ineffable precocity of our friend the Phenomenon, gene- 
 rally, was extremely amusing to the philosophic observer. 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 
 
 409 
 
 In the meantime Captain Beddoes had heard of Flower's 
 arrival in Malta, and one day at dinner Alfred being there 
 he said, " Oh, Lucy, I wonder why Herbert Flower has 
 not called ?" 
 
 Lucy started slightly : people will start when particular 
 names are abruptly mentioned. " Fm sure I can't guess." 
 She seemed languid, and it had been a very oppressive 
 summer that year. Alfred Snigsby felt a little pang of 
 fear ; he liked Flower, but always stood in some little awe 
 of him. 
 
 " We ought to see him," said Captain Beddoes, innocently. 
 " I suppose you are too much occupied to look him out, 
 Mr. Snigsby, eh ?" 
 
 " I will go and see about him this evening," said Alfred ; 
 and, in the interval between dessert and tea, he and the 
 captain strolled out together. " I have forgotten my hand- 
 kerchief," said Alfred, abruptly, when they had got about 
 a hundred yards from the door. He ran rather smartly 
 back. The servant happened to be standing at the door, 
 so he went in unannounced by a knock. Running up to the 
 drawing-room, he passed in. Lucy was sitting near the 
 window, in the twilight. Everybody has some little touch 
 of poetic sentiment ; and the long Bricklesian paused to 
 look at the girl, who did not hear him, and who was musing 
 absently. Alfred entered softly and unperceived and, as 
 he gained the table, he saw a letter on it. He drew his 
 breath suddenly. He knew the hand. It was the writing 
 of Herbert Flower. 
 
 Alfred felt suddenly very much startled, and there was a 
 sort of mistiness floating before his eyes. By a sudden im- 
 pulse, he seized the letter, and backed tranquilly out of the 
 room with it, still unperceived. He gained the open air. The 
 captain was waiting for him at the corner of the street. 
 
 " Got it ?" he asked, carelessly. . 
 18 
 
410 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Eh r said Alfred. 
 
 " Your handkerchief?" 
 
 Alfred had forgotten his handkerchief altogether ; he 
 stared a little, and then said, hurriedly, "Oh, yes," and was 
 in a semi-somnambulist state ; and feeling an intolerable 
 desire to be alone for a little, he informed the captain that 
 he must go and call to see his mother. " All right/' the 
 captain said, quietly. 
 
 Stupid Mr. Alfred Snigsby ! for the note which caused 
 him such excitement was nothing but the same note which 
 he himself had brought from Athens. " She needn't have 
 kept it, though !" he thought, sulkily, after looking at it. 
 " Perhaps she don't care for me, after all," he muttered. 
 " Why the deuce was it on the table ?" Oh, jealousy thou 
 who art called "green-eyed" thou art in thy element, with 
 a green subject to deal with 1 But by this time Alfred was 
 at the paternal room. 
 
 He found them very much agitated and bothered. Some 
 official, speaking execrable English, had been calling, and 
 had asked Mrs. Snigsby many qiiestions about Blobb : " Who 
 was Blobb ? Where did they engage him ? What refer- 
 ences had they with him ?" What did this portend ? 
 
 " I knew no good was in that abominable man," said Mrs. 
 S. "I always feared him. Now, Alfred, you must ascer- 
 tain what all this is about." 
 
 " Oh, by Jove, ma I can't undertake the bother !" 
 
 " What, sir !" roared old Snigsby from the sofa, where 
 he had been lying "what ! why, what the devil will you 
 do what the devil have you ever done? I have been 
 working all my life [here poor Mrs. S. rose and ran out 
 of the room] working all my life, sir, like a horse ; and 
 you a fellow six feet standing six feet in the boots which 
 I pay for," continued Mr. S., aiming at point ; "you'll do 
 nothing ! And you ain't ornamental either I" 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 411 
 
 Alfred rose up in a preternatural calm, and whistling 
 loudly from the opera, Gustavus the Third, stalked majes- 
 tically out of the house. 
 
 But there was one more interview to come off for this un- 
 happy fellow this evening. How was he to face the adora- 
 ble Lucy, having carried off the letter which indeed the poor 
 girl had missed, and in extreme agitation had been wonder- 
 ing where it was. Off he must go to the house, and arrange 
 that affair somehow. " I do like her ! She's a stunner,' 7 
 he muttered to himself, " and hang it, the governor must do 
 something handsome when I'm married. He wants to see 
 me settled. He'll like to see me so respectably married, 
 He's afraid of these respectable people. He'll come down 
 handsome !" 
 
 Once more he ascended the stairs, and there again was 
 Lucy by herself. 
 
 " Oh, Lucy dear," began Mr. Alfred, " I found a letter of 
 yours." 
 
 Lucy turned round quietly. " I did not lose a letter, 
 Alfred," she said, with ever so little emphasis on the verb. 
 
 " Oh, I found it," said Alfred, hurriedly. 
 
 " It was on the table, I think," Lucy replied, with per- 
 fect simplicity. " A letter from a friend of my family, lying 
 on the table. Did you take it away ?" she asked, looking 
 inquiringly forth from her charming gray eye. 
 
 " Yes, I did," said Alfred, getting a little sulky. (Have 
 ^n remarked how original vulgarity breaks out with most 
 effect, then ?) " It's from 'Erbert Flower." 
 
 " Are you quite sure," said Lucy, who felt her cheeks 
 growing hot and a little tremor, " that it was a gentlemanly 
 thing to do V 
 
 Now Mr. Alfred dreaded the word "gentlemanly;" he 
 had morbid sensibilities concerning the application of that 
 word. 
 
412 - SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " I don't know, I'm sure. I'll think of it," he said. 
 
 " I hope so," said Lucy, going fluttering out of the room 
 with a motion like a falling blossom. 
 
 "Oh, a general crisis," remarked Mr. Alfred to himself, 
 moodily ; but he coolly went off for a walk, of course get- 
 ting a cigar. 
 
 Well, it was now the evening of September 15th, 184-, 
 as I remember minutely ; for the subsequent adventures of 
 that night were singular, and often the subject of conversa- 
 tion in the squadron. -,. t 
 
 It seems that Alfred went wandering about the least-fre- 
 quented parts of the town, and it is conjectured (Jigger, of 
 the Bustard, swears to it) that he refreshed himself more 
 than once at cafes. Zarb, of Strada St. Giovanni (who, by 
 the by, would like Jigger's address, if convenient!) heard 
 him singing as he passed his shop ; and then it was noticed 
 that a suspicious-looking fellow was following him. Near 
 the marina, at all events about twelve, it would seem that 
 Alfred was seized from behind, and carried on board the 
 Paragon. 
 
 "When I awoke," said Alfred, at the C. C,, afterwards, 
 " I heard a strange gurgling noise, and found myself in a 
 very narrow place. By Jove, Sir ! I was on board our 
 yacht : [look of admiration from Buck, the ruffish actor :] 
 and that fellow, Blobb, had carried me off to sea ! They 
 were going to have him up for bigamy, it seems ; his Eng- 
 lish wife had come out to Malta. And, by Jove I he 
 wanted to be off cheap : so he made up his mind to go to 
 Sicily and he made me go, or they'd have seized him for 
 stealing the yacht, Gad! I was obliged to do what he 
 pleased ; and glad I was to get rid of him at Naples, for he 
 went there." 
 
 The reader must fancy the astonishment of all parties 
 concerned next morning. Nothing was heard of the yacht 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 413 
 
 for ten days. Lucy Beddoes was in great terror, poor thing, 
 and Herbert Flower (as an old friend of the family) was 
 constantly at their house. At last, news came that the 
 yacht was at Naples, and Alfred at the Yictoria waiting for 
 supplies from Mr. Snigsby. It was remarked, that his let- 
 ters to Lucy were very cool. But one never knows the 
 truth of these breaking-off cases. An " attachment," as a 
 fanciful friend remarks, when it does break, smashes into so 
 many bits, that you can never put them together, so as to 
 get a notion of how it looked when it was whole ! 
 
 At all events, the "attachment" did break off. Mrs. 
 Cockatoo asserts, that Herbert Flower, one evening, kissed 
 Lucy Beddoes, without being required to apologize ; and 
 Mrs. Flower, wife of the present Herbert Flower, Esq., of 
 Flory, is a very pretty gray-eyed woman and the only one 
 of the " county people " who is properly civil to Lady Gruf- 
 fin Ribs, as the excellent Sir G. R. assured my friend Fon- 
 tenoy. 
 
 It was from Fontenoy that I heard the whole history, at 
 the hospitable house of his brother-in-law, Alfred Welwyn, 
 R. N. The Snigsbys are highly prosperous, and Alfred 
 much improved since his father compelled him to work. 
 Herbert Flower is extremely improved, likewise. 
 
 " There is always a chance for a gentleman/ 7 said my 
 friend F., philosophically, "if -he has an atom of sentiment 
 in him. Much thumping is required to bring a disciple of 
 the SIMIOUS SCHOOL into good order though." 
 
THE DEATH SHOT: 
 
 A TALE OF THE COAST GUARD. 
 
 TTTERE a man to go to Jericho, the reason for such a jour- 
 YV ney would be sufficiently palpable ; but did he cross the 
 Irish Channel, who is there who would not exclaim, ''What 
 on earth could induce him ?" nor would the beauty of the 
 lakes, the picturesque sites of Wicklow, or the sublimity of 
 the Giant's Causeway, arise in the mind as a ready solution. 
 Say Paris, Rome, Naples, Yenice, Vienna, Florence, Lau- 
 sanne, and all their multifarious attractions at once crowd 
 on the imagination, and readily account for the migration 
 of the most indolent gossiper who ever lounged in the bay- 
 window of White's. I sin, therefore, with my eyes open, in 
 not setting forth an elaborate expose of the causes which 
 moved me to visit 
 
 " The first flower of the ocean and gem of the sea ;" 
 
 but whatever I may purpose hereafter, it happens not to 
 enter into my present plan to communicate more than that 
 I not only found myself in Ireland, but in as black, bleak, 
 rugged, rocky, mountainous a spot as ever an Italian bandit 
 sought, or Messrs. Grieve & Co. delighted a London audi- 
 ence with. 
 
 From the turf-fire of the room in which I was located at 
 the village inn, a sufficient quantum of smoke intermingled 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 415 
 
 with the atmosphere to give it that peculiar high-dried odor 
 so agreeable to the olfactory nerves of the Milesian. I will 
 not deny that, on the crazy bed which stood in a corner of 
 the room, I had often slept soundly enough still it offered 
 no temptation, and, like the good sauce of hunger, which 
 makes the toughest steak delectable, you must be tho- 
 roughly knocked up before you sought the luxury of such 
 repose as it offered. To be sure, two thirds of a bottle of 
 whiskey on the table, and a steaming toddy-kettle on the 
 fire, would have given a very comfortable sort of night-cap 
 to any one who cared not to awake feverish in the morning. 
 
 From the windows, however, a far different scene pre- 
 sented itself: the sky was cloudless, the moon in the full, 
 and every ray reflected by a boundless ocean-mirror not a 
 zephyr ruffling its glassy surface, save at its margin, where 
 the ebbing tide receded from a blanched and almost impal- 
 pable sand. 
 
 It was the witching time of night. I raised the latch, 
 and incontinently strode forth. Howard's picture of fairies 
 disporting by moonlight rose on my imagination, and I 
 looked wistfully for those light, tiny, aerial beings he loved 
 to depict. The only living object, however, which revelled 
 in the moonbeams and moved along the sands, was, though 
 picturesque enough, as diametrically opposite to light, tiny, 
 aerial beings, as a tall, square-shouldered, stalwart, heavy- 
 bearded man could be especially when, instead of butterfly 
 wings and Arachne-wove gossamer robes, he was accoutred 
 in a glazed norVester, a tarpaulin cloak and leggings, bore 
 in his hand a formidable bludgeon, and belted round his 
 waist were pistols, sword, ammunition, and port-fire ; in 
 place of fantastic gambols, his gait was slow and measured ; 
 in lieu of quirks and wiles, and wreathed smiles, he cast 
 around cautious, scrutinizing glances. His was no merry 
 sabaoth, but the lonely, dreary watch. 
 
416 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 I addressed to one so described, some observations on 
 the beauty of the night, fell into his step, and we proceeded 
 together. The sands, baying with a bold sweep, were ter- 
 minated by a precipitous ridge of black rocks running out 
 far into the sea. Among these huge, black, chaotic frag- 
 ments, a narrow, slippery and dangerous path was marked 
 by white stones, a few feet apart on either side. Notwith- 
 standing the brightness of the moon, it required all my at- 
 tention, as we rounded the rugged, frowning point, lest by 
 a false step I should be precipitated some thirty feet on the 
 bristling bed of rocks that ranged beneath us. Over head 
 hung a heavy mass, that occasionally left the path in the 
 deepest shade. 
 
 In one of the most difficult and intricate passes my guide 
 suddenly started, stopped, and with an agitated voice and 
 manner, in a deep Connaught accent, asked : " Did you 
 hear that, sir ?" 
 
 I had heard nothing but the monotonous washing of the 
 waves. 
 
 " God rest his soul !" he continued, devoutly crossing him- 
 self. " Then it's a fearful thing to be cut off unshrived, and 
 no holy man by to make God's peace with you !" 
 
 "Yet," I observed, "your calling often puts you in such 
 peril ! 
 
 " Ah then ! when one's on duty, I take it to be quite a 
 different thing. But what I mean is, when one's thoughts 
 are upon life, and maybe about one's wife and children, to 
 be suddenly murdered." 
 
 " Who I How 1 When did this happen ?" 
 
 " On the very spot where we stand. There ! did not 
 your honor hear that ringing shot? Every year, on the 
 night and at the hour he received the ball that killed him, 
 the report of the carbine is heard. The time was clean out 
 of my head, or I would not have patrolled this spot, at this 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 417 
 
 hour; it always brings bad luck to him that hears it, as 
 what befell poor Mike Blaney, who was on this ground last 
 year, makes certain." 
 
 There was in the manner of the sailor such a solemn con- 
 viction of what he said, that whatever might have been my 
 own incredulity, I forbore making more expression of it 
 than uttering 
 
 " It's strange 1" 
 
 " Then indeed," he replied, "it is strange. Many of us 
 have heard it and I was talking to your honor, and not a 
 bit thinking about the spot or time, when the report came, 
 sharp as though you had discharged a piece close under my 
 ear ; and, what is not less strange, on the night of the mur- 
 der, his wife poor thing was just getting into bed, when 
 the report of a musket, as exploded hard by, made her 
 scream to the servants to know what had happened ; and 
 as they ran to inquire, they met the men on watch coming 
 to the house to know the cause, Nor could it be made out, 
 until the poor officer was picked up and carried stone dead, 
 and cold, into the house though your honor sees it was 
 clean impossible for the report of a carbine to be heard from 
 this to the house. Nor did the men on watch, at either of. 
 the next guards, hear a breath of noise that night." 
 
 Whether that emotions springing from mystery are infec- 
 tious, or that there is a latent tendency to superstition, never 
 so thoroughly eradicated as we are prone to believe, the 
 perfect credence the sailor had in these preternatural omens 
 affected me. The hour, the scene, the dreary spot, all lent 
 aid to the interest I felt to know the circumstances that 
 gave rise to these wondrous anniversary mementoes of a 
 deed of blood and crime. 
 
 "Neal Brian t, your honor, was a regular man-o'-war's 
 man, and what's more rare before father Mathew intro- 
 duced the pledge was very sober. He returned with a 
 18* 
 
418 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OB, 
 
 good sum of prize-money, obtained leave of absence, got 
 spliced to a comely young woman, with a neat little fortune 
 of a hundred or so ; and as they loved each other, and soon 
 had children enough, it was natural that they should like 
 living together better than being separated for months or 
 years from each other. He got, therefore, turned over to 
 the coast guard. He bought a fishing-boat or two, and as 
 Boon as his boys could handle a tiller, or trim a sail, they 
 became expert fishermen, and added to the family stock. 
 
 " Neal Briant, as well as being a handsome, smart fellow, 
 could read and write well ; so that it was no wonder that 
 in a few years he became a commissioned, and then a chief- 
 boatman. His sons, in the mean time, had become strap- 
 ping, clever fellows, and thorough seamen. Not a pilot knew 
 the coast better than Willy and Jemmy Briant. They were 
 dare-devils, too. The one went mate some time to a West 
 Indiaman ; the other was master and part owner of a coast- 
 ing vessel, running with general freight. 
 
 " Times weren't then as they are now, sir. There was 
 plenty of money afloat. Gentlemen and, indeed, all other 
 classes of people drank hard. Duties were high ; home- 
 made adulterations were not invented. The genuine for- 
 eign article must be had at any price, and at all risks. 
 It was a glorious time for smugglers, and for the coast 
 guard too, as far as that went. It was desperate work, it 
 is true, but the rewards on both sides were great. A good 
 run or two was a fortune to a man ; and it was a bad win- 
 ter for a coast guard's man if he did not share some hun- 
 dreds prize-money. I say winter, for in the short, light 
 nights of summer the risk to the smugglers was too great ; 
 not that they stood at trifles, or cared to sink the craft if 
 they ran the cargo. 
 
 " An able, resolute young sailor, especially if he knew the 
 coast well, need not beg for service, then. He had his own 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 419 
 
 terms, and all sorts of temptations were held out to him ; 
 and if we were not tried, more's the pity. Some of our 
 men made a thousand or two, though how it was made, 
 divil a soul could say. 
 
 " As you came down by the Lough, off to the right, you 
 may have remarked, sir, a high, white house ; it is nigh 
 ruinated now ; only a bit inhabited. The window-frames 
 are shattered, the door planked up all is desertion. Well, 
 there was some good doings in that house, and many a 
 jovial night whiskey galore, and the reek of the kitchen 
 could be winded a mile round. A hard-featured, grizzled- 
 headed old fellow lived there one Captain M'Sweeny. 
 He was a cute old fox, with glimmering eyes half shut, 
 and a kind of grinning mouth half open, except when he 
 listened, and then it was wedged together, as if he feared 
 the breath would escape him. 
 
 " He was born a fisher-boy, and glad of a 'tato paring, 
 or the skin of a herring. But he built this house, had a 
 good holding of land, and none know what money. But 
 he is off to America, years ago ; God knows if dead or 
 alive now ! 
 
 " More than by the guards, revenue cruisers, and customs- 
 officers, the smugglers were ruined by splits among them- 
 selves. Many hands must be employed, principals, agents, 
 crews, sea pilots, land pilots ; and it was a great difficulty 
 to find men true and silent, who never babbled over their 
 liquor, and could withstand the bribery and protection 
 government offered for informers ; besides, with temptation 
 without, envy, jealousy, hatred, revenge rankled within. 
 
 " Now here it was that M'Sweeny went beyond all men ; 
 he was known to be colleagued with the smugglers in two- 
 thirds of the ports of Europe ; he shrunk from no adventure, 
 however desperate ; yet so cute, wary, and cautious was he, 
 so hedged and fenced, that never once was he implicated, 
 
420 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 much less anything brought home against him. The devil's 
 cure to him ! One thing was, he trusted as far as possible no 
 one till the last minute, he kept everything dark ; and 
 those few in whom at last he must trust, he proved his keen- 
 ness and craft, by the choice of, and endeavored to bind to 
 him, body, and soul, and estate. Well, sir, the lads bad 
 luck to him ! his treacherous old eyes soon fell on were 
 Willy and Jemmy Brian t ; and didn't that prove the daring, 
 as well as the craft of the old rogue ? for while the lads 
 were clever, fearless, and faithful, warn't they the sons of the 
 most dauntless, intelligent, active man in the customs ser- 
 vice, the most inveterate enemy to the smugglers, one they 
 most dreaded, and knew incorruptible ? 
 
 " Maybe M'S weeny might not have been an ill-looking 
 fellow when young, for time changes all, especially one sub- 
 ject to weather and watches, but, above all, suspicion ; 
 evil doings bad passions cause deep furrows and dark 
 lines. 
 
 " Kate M'S weeny, too, his wife, was a stout, well-built, 
 brave girl enough, and a good wife to him, one that did as he 
 bade her, and never had eyes to see further than he wished, 
 or ears to hear one bit more than he desired, with a ready 
 hand and nimble foot whe i requisite. Not but one often 
 sees a cross-grained couple with buxom children, but God's 
 truth is, a prettier girl than Kathleen M'Sweeny mortal 
 eyes never looked on ; she had large, loving, soft, blue eyes, 
 swimming amidst long dark lashes ; her light hair fell wav- 
 ing and curling in light golden ringlets ; her little rosebud 
 mouth showed rows of pearls. She was a lily, a snow-drop, 
 with a sweet tinge of carnation grafted on her cheeks She 
 was tall and slight built, but each year added fresh beauties 
 to her form. 
 
 " If old M'S weeny loved anything as money, it was Kath- 
 leen. You may depend she had suitors enough ; how any 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 421 
 
 pleased the girl it was difficult to say, for the heart of a 
 young girl is a riddle that has perplexed many a wise head ; 
 however, none received encouragement from M'Sweeny ; 
 not that he turned the door on them, but now with a good 
 word, uow with a bad word, just kept them dangling on. 
 So that, with his money, his cunning, and the beauty of 
 Kathleen, there was not a young fellow he had not some 
 hold of, and whose heart did not jump with joy when he bade 
 them welcome, and Kathleen smiled. Then, among all 
 these young fellows, there was none more tantalized than 
 Willy Briant. Poor lad, one day he looked as though he 
 would throw himself into the sea ; on another he was as 
 joyous as the sunbeams dancing on it. 
 
 " Perhaps this was a courtship Briant himself might not 
 altogether have approved of, but like all other things in 
 this world, there was much to be said on both sides, and 
 whatever one might think of old M'Sweeny, devil a word 
 could be said in disparagement of Kathleen. If she were 
 a bit of a coquette, as all the sex, and liked to be admired, 
 there was something so coy, wild, and roguish about her, 
 that not one of the lads could ever boast he had pressed her 
 hand, or breathed five words of love together in her ear. 
 Indeed the night work we have and other duties prevented 
 Briant knowing much about the matter, and as Mrs. Briant 
 would have liked well enough that Willy should have such 
 a load of money as M'Sweeny, and such a wife as Kathleen, 
 many a time at dinner she would say he was out laying his 
 lobster pots in the Lough, when he was but just dangling 
 about to catch a glimpse of Kathleen. Then, she was just 
 like the rest of the world mighty forgiving how a man 
 made his money, provided he had plenty, and gold was 
 never the worse in the children's hands, however the father 
 might have come by it. 
 
 " The old fox's eyes glimmered as he saw his victim flut- 
 
422 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 ter about the money-jar; he gradually softened into pretended 
 confidence, asked Willy's advice and opinion upon sundry 
 little nautical matters, and whatever might have been his 
 ultimate views and ambition for Kathleen, filled Willy's 
 heart and head with a thousand hopes built on those vague 
 nothings, which to the young and sanguine are solid as the 
 rocks we tread on. 
 
 "The vessel Willy had been mate of being in dock, 
 M'Sweeny offered him his interest to get him appointed 
 master of a large schooner trading to Flushing and other 
 parts. This Willy leapt at, and Jemmy, who loved his bro- 
 ther, and believed he would ultimately win Kathleen, was 
 induced to sell his share of the coaster, and embark as chief 
 mate of the Atalanta. 
 
 "At first the trading seems regular, all above board, 
 though there may be concealments for contraband goods, 
 of which neither master nor mate knows anything. The lads 
 once in the hands of those daring desperate gangs, are by 
 degrees worked on, and led astray. First it might be but 
 some lace for Kathleen, or a keg of brandy or a tub of 
 bacca for M'Sweeny. Then without the young hands well 
 knowing what they are about, they implicate them in some 
 larger transactions, till what by example, what by love of 
 adventure, cupidity, the impossibility of escape, all their 
 good principles are debauched, they become bound soul and 
 body in the perilous, but profitable traffic. 
 
 " Oh ! the old sinners know well enough how to work 
 round a spirited young fellow, and so the two lads, though 
 as yet with characters untainted by suspicion, and being 
 looked on as thriving, honest young fellows, became fore- 
 most in carrying on old M'Sweeney's nefarious plans. 
 
 "Then he was a real gentleman, a great scholar, and 
 a good officer; there was something proud and haughty 
 in his manner, yet he was the civilest man to speak to, I 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 423 
 
 ever knew the devil an oath ever came out of his lips. 
 He was one Lieutenant Gascoine, and a smart seaman, 
 strict and fond of discipline, and liking to see the duty done 
 as it should be, yet he would spare any one else sooner than 
 himself. He was never prying or bothering his men, now 
 with this, now with that. He had been married to a pretty 
 young woman, just long enough to have a little boy, who 
 was the darling of both. 
 
 " In this service there are continual dispatches, because, 
 do you see, we are a splice of all things, sailors, soldiers, 
 police customs, conservators of the fisheries, quarantine offi- 
 cers, just something of everything, without being much of 
 anything. Well, sir, as became known at the court-martial, 
 one night the officer received a confidential dispatch from 
 Flushing. It described the Atalanta by name, build and 
 rig ; the strongest suspicions were entertained that she be- 
 longed to wealthy adventurers, and was about to attempt 
 a large run. The letter went on to say that the master 
 and mate were supposed to be the sons of some chief-boat- 
 man of the coast guard. The officers were enjoined to keep 
 a strict look-out for this vessel, secretly to inform them- 
 selves of the employment of the men's sons, and to report 
 thereon, with such intelligence as they could collect respect- 
 ing the Atalanta. 
 
 " Soon Lieutenant Gascoine learnt that it was Willy and 
 Jemmy, the sons of Briant, who were the master and mate 
 of the Atalanta. The lads were constantly writing home 
 to their mother and sisters to have news of Kathleen, and 
 of themselves, so that the whereabouts of the Atalanta, 
 probable time of her sailing, where it was likely she would 
 touch, where bound, when to return, were continually known 
 to our officer, and reported ; and thus every precaution 
 taken for her capture in due time. 
 
 " Thus the affection of the boys for their parents betrayed 
 
424 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 their employers, and the garrulity of the fond mother, and 
 the pride of old Briant in his sons, betrayed the children. 
 
 "The sun was setting heavily among the gathering black 
 clouds, when the man on duty reported that an unknown 
 schooner was working in the offing : the officer took his 
 glass and examined her movements. We were all standing 
 by, when Briant taking up the glass from the man on watch, 
 after an instant's sight of her, exclaimed joyfully 'She's 
 the Atalanta, she's the Atalanta.' 
 
 " The officer turned on his heel without a word, and in a 
 few minutes expresses were sent off to the commander of the 
 district, and to the officers commanding our flanks right and 
 left. Not long after that, Paddy Sullivan, a fisherman, 
 who has a hui and a ' tato' field down by the bourne, 
 wanted to have a speech with the Lieutenant. 
 
 " Now, whether it was Paddy Sullivan or not, God 
 knows ! only Paddy was known to change a ten-pound note 
 not long after in the purchase of a cow, and he added a bit 
 more to his potato garden ; however that may be, it seems 
 that Mr. Gascoine got intelligence that Mike Magee, who 
 had been absent some months, suddenly returned. 
 
 " Now, your honor must know, Mike had the reputation 
 of being one of the cutest land-pilots of these parts and as 
 you may have heard more of sea-pilots than of land-pilots, 
 I'll just tell you the nature of their business, which is this : 
 when the run has been made, they direct the route, and the 
 way in which it shall be passed up the country ; and there 
 is not a cave or hole, or rabbit burrow, nor a crag, nor a 
 glen, nor a pass, that they are not acquainted with better 
 than your honor may be with the high road. There is not 
 a hare that could double like Mike, nor a fox more cunning 
 to cut off the scent when pursued. 
 
 "There is one Mclvoy, a well-to-do man, that holds a 
 large farm convenient to the sea. Now, all the world 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 425 
 
 knows that Mclvoy is not over nice how he comes by a bit 
 of money, so long as he can but grab it. Well, he has a 
 few sheds and out-houses that are washed by the sea at 
 high tide, and since Mike's return, he had been employed 
 in making repairs, though not a rail had been driven in be- 
 fore, this many a day. 
 
 "Now, I have been out on many a dark night, but one 
 so black as that, in my life I never knew not the twinkle 
 of a star ; the sky was like a tarpaulin. I had patrolled 
 here, then, ten to fifteen years, but not a step could I take 
 till I got a glimpse of one of our marks to direct me. 
 Well, sir, our officer having as usual examined all our arms, 
 sent us out to the different guards, but between twelve and 
 one, when he came out to visit the guards, instead of ex- 
 changing us, he brought us in with him. 
 
 " We all thought that since all was so quiet, and it was 
 impossible to see a yard before one, it might be to dismiss 
 us to bed. 
 
 "Lieutenant Gascoine marched us beyond Mclvoy's, 
 then whistled in the patrols at the extreme south. He 
 called Briant, and Bob Smith, a commissioned boatman, 
 aside, and gave orders to Briant to take three men, and 
 moving among the rocks to the water's edge, to lie in am- 
 bush close to Mclvoy's sheds ; while Bob Smith was to 
 take a file, go round by the north, and do the same. They 
 were to be silent as death, and not to move should any one 
 approach, till a landing had been effected, when they were 
 to rush out and secure the men. 
 
 "Mr. Gascoine and the rest moved down on the centre. 
 We were to conceal ourselves standing, squatting, or lying 
 down, as best we might but as I told you, it was pitch 
 dark, so that was not a matter of much difficulty. 
 
 " We laid there, may be half an hour, not the whistle of 
 a curlew to break the silence. Some fell asleep, and all 
 
426 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 wondered what we were doing there, for as I before said, 
 Gascoine was not a man to have whims or caprices, as 
 some officers have. 
 
 " At length our attention was aroused by a slight splash 
 in the water, for ears become wonderfully acute by watch- 
 ing, when all around is silent. The leap of a fish would 
 have more disturbed the sea ; at long intervals another, and 
 another, followed. 
 
 " We strained our eyes, but could perceive nothing we 
 somehow felt^the approach of something, rather than saw 
 or heard it. There was a slight sound then a rush, and 
 the crossing of swords ; and the low call and whistle of par- 
 ties the deep struggle the shortened and panting breath 
 and then the centre charged down. 
 
 " ' Look out to the north/ roared Briant, ' I have grap- 
 pled one villain/ and striking his port-fire, the light glared 
 on his prisoner, whom he held by the throat. He gazed on 
 his son, William ! 
 
 " 'Father I' exclaimed William. 
 
 The port-fire fell from Briant's hand, the prisoner from his 
 grasp, but Bob Smith, with the butt end of his carbine, 
 felled him to the ground. 
 
 "'Surrender, surrender! or by heaven, I fire/ called 
 out Gascoine, holding a light in one hand, a pistol in an- 
 other. 
 
 " The light fell on a youth, who, with a naked cutlass in 
 his hand, seemed irresolute to fight or fly. He rushed for- 
 ward ; but the ball from Gascoine's pistol struck him, and 
 he rolled over. Oh ! then it was Jemmy Briant. The skir- 
 mish went on, though it was difficult to tell friend from foe. 
 Some of our men ran into the sea and shouted, ' We have 
 got the yawl ! they are shoving off 1 lend a hand here, my 
 lads. r Gascoine and some of us leaped into the sea : they 
 were desperate in the boat. I got this lash on the cheek 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 427 
 
 boarding her ; but, however, we got on board some we 
 overpowered and manacled, some leaped into the sea. 
 
 " Our officer shouted to those on shore to look out for 
 them. 
 
 " Daylight broke. We found two or three kegs of brandy 
 on shore, ten more in the boat, and four or five tubs of 
 tobacco ; five men we had prisoners two badly wounded, 
 one of whom was Jem Briant. 
 
 "Some of us got a hurt or two, but lost neither life nor 
 limb. From the intelligence Lieut. Grascoine had given, the 
 Atalanta herself was captured by the Eclipse revenue crui- 
 ser. Well, sir, we shared a good lump of prize money ; but 
 one would think there was a curse on it, for, somehow or 
 other, it seemed to bring misfortune to us all. 
 
 " It is a remark I have made, that, let a station be ever 
 so happy, and officer and men and men with men ever so 
 well together, the moment there is money to divide, instead 
 of pleasure it brings discord, envy, hatred, bickering, dis- 
 content, and quarrels. They say the way to gain an action 
 is, that each man should believe the victory depended on 
 him. This may do in the fight, but when the prize comes 
 to be divided, each thinks the whole or largest share should 
 belong to him, and that every other division is unjust. Why 
 
 should Tom have that ? was it not I that ? Oh ! 
 
 there's no end of the bragging and backbiting. Well may 
 they say money is the root of all evil ; and yet we are glad 
 to risk our lives to get it. 
 
 " It was an unlucky hour for the Briants. The prisoners 
 were committed to jail. Jem Briant long suffered from his 
 wound, and they were all transported for fourteen years. 
 
 " Lieut. Gascoine always appeared to have great confi- 
 dence in Briant, nor do I think would willingly do him 
 harm. But the authorities did not like the affair alto- 
 gether. 
 
428 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OR, 
 
 " Briant was tried by a court-martial. It was a hard 
 case for him, after his long service and good conduct. But 
 the feeling of the court was unfavorable, and the evidence 
 of the lieutenant and Smith as to the release of William 
 bore against him, so that he was broke and mulcted of his 
 prize-money, while Robert Smith was promoted to chief- 
 boatman. 
 
 " From that hour Briant never held up his head. He and 
 his wife were broken-hearted at the fate of Willy and Jem- 
 my, and his own disgrace. He became an altered man 
 wan and slovenly in his appearance, and at last took to 
 the drink dispirited when sober, and quarrelsome when 
 half drunk. Faith, he was sorely tried ! for his daughters 
 buxom girls it may be they dressed too much, held their 
 heads too high, and looked upon themselves as the best 
 matches in these parts could not bear their fall, and that 
 the Miss Smiths should take the lead ; so one morning both 
 bolted, and, I have heard, took to bad courses first in 
 Dublin, then in London. Altogether, Briant had desperate 
 fits of wrath, and looked on Lieut. Gascoine as the ruin of 
 himself, wife, and children. I often tried to talk him over, 
 and to show him the officer only did what was his duty, and 
 what indeed he could not help doing. But that only made 
 him outrageous, and with oaths he would say 
 
 " ' Did he not make a catspaw of me to betray my own 
 boys? With his own hand did he not shoot Jemmy, and 
 command Black Bob Smith to fell the otner when he had a 
 chance to make away ? On the trial, what color did he 
 give to the shock I felt when I found I grasped my own 
 son by the throat ? I am no coward, or traitor, and have 
 always done my duty like a man, and fear nothing. But 
 was it not natural I should feel amazed and woe-struck? 
 And for this am I to be broke mulcted even of my miser- 
 able prize-money ? The d d villains ! I should like to 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 429 
 
 know how they would have acted 1 I would pitch the ser- 
 vice to the devil ; but at my age now they have had all 
 my youth and best blood out of me what am I fit for ? 
 Was it not enough to lose my two boys to have my poor 
 girls' hearts turned to have the poor old woman's heart 
 broken ! but that here I am disgraced and degraded, the 
 labor of my life lost ! Mark me I I am d d, but I will 
 be avenged yet 1' 
 
 "Now the truth was, the officer pitied him; and often, 
 when his keen eyes must have detected that Briant was 
 fuddled, though it was clean against his nature and princi- 
 ples, he would overlook it, and take opportunity privately 
 to encourage Briant, and to warn him against taking to 
 liquor. But all this only exasperated Briant the more 
 against him. 
 
 " Then Mrs. Gascoine herself would walk over with her 
 little boy, and call on Mrs. Briant, and try to cheer her, for 
 the poor old soul would sit weeping and wringing her hands 
 by the hour. It was sad to look on her, sure enough ! and I 
 believe the sight of Mrs. Gascoine and her son, seeing them 
 look so blooming and happy, and Gascoine and her so doat- 
 ing on each other, only made Briant hate them the more. 
 
 " Now it was just such a lovely still night as this, and 
 your honor may have noticed a clear spring of water that 
 jets from a rock, and has worn itself a basin, into which it 
 continually falls, while the rock whence it flows is covered 
 with moss, sea pinks, and a thousand tiny rock flowers. 
 Ah then ! that was a favorite spot with Mrs. Gascoine, and 
 often, with the, wide ocean at their feet, she would sit there 
 and work, while her husband read to, or conversed with, 
 her, and the little boy would be filling her lap with, or 
 twining in her hair, all kinds of wild flowers. Poor fel- 
 low 1 he called it after her, ' Jessie's Font/ and it goes by 
 that name to this hour. 
 
430 SWELL LIFE AT SEA; OK, 
 
 "It was anigh midnight, and Gascoine was about to 
 visit the guards, when she came out with him, and they 
 seated themselves at the font, and he clasped one of her 
 hands in his, while with another he was pointing out the 
 stars that were in full glory, shining sweetly on them. Her 
 had thrown off his hat, and she was without a bonnet, and 
 as their eyes were cast up to heaven, I thought I never 
 looked on a more beautiful couple, for you see, as the moon- 
 light fell on them, it was a picture. I had that guard, and 
 as I walked past them, I could hear them converse on the 
 soul and immortality that was the last time I ever saw 
 him alive. 
 
 "Then it is an awful thing to condemn any one, more 
 especially when the laws have acquitted him, seeing there is 
 no dependence on circumstances, however suspicious they 
 may be. 
 
 " Neal Brian t, the night before, had been making too 
 free with the whiskey. The officer sent him to bed, and in 
 the morning spoke kindly, but determined, to him. He 
 told him, with almost tears in his eyes, that, however it 
 would grieve him, he could never again overlook such con- 
 duct that he must report him, and that Briant well knew 
 the consequence. This seemed to touch Briant for the mo- 
 ment. But his heart was all changed and altered, and in- 
 stead of penitence, he was all vindictiveness. Gascoine 
 passed along the guards, changing the men, as is our 
 custom. 
 
 " Briant had the patrol we are now on, which is next to 
 the extreme south ; the man who had the guard below saw 
 then! walking together, that is, the officer in advance, 
 Briant following some paces in the rear. Briant relieved 
 Bi&ke at the extreme, who came in on this guard, but he 
 was alone, and no mention was made of the officer. Blake 
 
FUN, FRIGATES, AND YACHTING. 431 
 
 took the sands, but as the tide was making, returned by the 
 path, and just here, in this dark nook, on the spot where I 
 heard the report of the carbine, he stumbled over some- 
 thing. He found it was a man he shook him no reply. 
 He dragged the body to the moonlight to his horror it 
 "was Lieutenant Gascoine weltering in his blood, the back 
 part of his head blown off : he was lying on his face, quite 
 dead, but still warm. 
 
 " Blake whistled and called ; he fired off his pistols, and 
 burnt his port-fire. Smith and the crew came rushing to 
 "him ; they bore the body to the station, where they found 
 us in consternation, for Mrs. Gascoine and all of us had 
 heard the shot that must have killed her husband ; though 
 whence it came we knew not. The suspicion of Smith, then 
 in command, fell on Briant, but his carbine was clean and 
 loaded, and he had his regular charges of ammunition'; the 
 muzzle of his tarpaulin carbine-case was, however, blown 
 off, but this he proved to have been done by accident seve- 
 ral days before. All he knew was, that the lieutenant had 
 sent him on, to send in Blake. Smith had him taken be- 
 fore the magistrates, and he was committed. 
 
 "The ball that killed the officer was found, and sure 
 enough it was one of the regular carbine balls. 
 
 "Ah, then ! it was a house of woe, and it would have 
 moved the heart of a flint to see Mrs. Gascoine and the 
 little boy throw themselves wailing on the corpse our 
 wives and the fishermen filled the house, and there was not 
 a dry eye among us, for the bleeding body and the young 
 wife and child looked piteous, and all loved Gascoine, ex- 
 cept perhaps M'Sweeny and his gang. 
 
 "Well, sir, Briant was tried, and, in spite of all, acquit- 
 ted ; but in our own minds he was never clear, and when 
 he returned from gaol, we resolved not to petition for his 
 
 
432 SWELL LIFE AT SEA, ETC. 
 
 removal, and that we would associate with him, if he would 
 swear by his holy Saviour that he was innocent of the mur- 
 der. However he might turn it, he never would swear 
 direct that he did not commit this black deed." 
 
 "Would a man," I exclaimed, "who had committed a 
 murder, hesitate about an oath ?" 
 
 " I know not, sir ; but Briant never would swear. 
 
 " He was discharged from this, but what became of him 
 we never heard." 
 
 THE END 
 
 
 

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