3 056 PROM Mrs. Edmund Andre* t Nil Surf Strtet rhicago, Illinois Powder and Patches A Comedy in Two Actr BY j! MARY MONCURK PARKER Author of "When Your Wife's Away" (a farce), ' Mrs Bubby's Pink Tea" (a comedietta), "A Girl from Chicago," "A Fair Maid of Florida," "A Lucky Hazard," Etc. CHICAGO Frederick J. Drake & Co., PUBLISHERS COPYRIGHTED, IgOi BY FREDERICK J. DRAKE Ic CO. CHICAGO, ILL., U.S.A. Printed in I'. S. A. NOTB The acting rights of this play are expressly reserved. Theatrical managers wish ing to produce it should apply to the publishers. Amateur representation may be made without such application and without charge. FREDERICK J. DRAKE & CO., PUBLISHERS. Powder and Patches A Comedy in Two Acts. By Mary Moncure Parker, Author of "When Your Wife's Away" (A Farce). "Mrs. Busby's Pink Tea." (A Comedietta } "A Girl of Chicago." "A Fair Maid of Florida." "A Lucky Hazard," Etc. Cast of Characters. Mr. Richard Carter A Virginia Gentleman Mistress Carter His \Vife Agnes Carter Their Daughter Betty Sinclair Her Friend Prudence Hopewell A Quakeress Lady Seraphina Burlingame An English Lady Sir Charles Mawly An Old Beau Captain Edward Peyton. Officers in the Lieutenant Robert Burns. Continental Army Geranium Servants in the house- Gabriel.. ..hold of Mr. Carter. 4 POWDER AND PATCHES Plot laid in Virginia in the Eighteenth Century, during the War of the American Revolution. SCENE I. Library. Living room at Glenview, the estate of Mr. Richard Carter, a gentleman of Virginia. To the left of the stage is a colonial couch and a screen is placed back of the couch, concealing a door. A small table containing decanter and glasses stands at back of the stage near the screen. (To the right is a chest of drawers, on top of which are candle- sticks, blue plates, pewter platters, etc. At one side of the chest of drawers is a window curtained in white with plants arranged upon the sill. A tall colonial clock is in the background to the right.) To the right of center stands a table with old-fashioned chairs ar- ranged upon either side. The ladies are costumed in Watteau gowns with powdered hair, the gentlemen in velvets and satins, knickerbockers, white wigs, silk hose and buckled shoes ; the two young officers are in costume of the Continental Army. N. B. The screen, couch, table, two chairs win- dow effect decanter and glasses and candles are nec- essary to arrangement of room. The chest, clock, platters, etc., are optional, but will add to the picture (if procurable). ACT I. Voice of Geranium in hall singing. "Ever since King Jesus set me free This vain world's been a hell to me." Agnes Carter in costume of last century seated at table writing; folds letter, looking about her cau- tiously ; rises and starts to door as Geranium enters ; POWDEU AND PATCHES D puts finger to her lip and draws the negress to the front of stage. Agnes Carter. "Was there a letter, Geranium?" Geranium. "Not a one, Miss Agnes. Shuahs you's born, dat worfless Kitty done spied on me an' got hoi' of dem lettahs some way. Just let me kotch her at it, an' I'se gwine to turn her out to be et by de Rebel sojers. I'se afeard, honey, ole Miss done 'spect me an' has set Kitty spyin' on us." Agnes (standing holding the letter and looking anx- ious). "I am afraid, Geranium, it will be of no use to .yivt you this letter. It will never reach the one for whom it is intended. Two months since I have heard from Edward and in this distracted state of the coun- try I know not if he be living or dead" (Begins to cry.) Geranium (drawing the young girl to her). "Now, my baby lam', don' you cry. Give me dat lettah an' I'll tell Ole Gabe to keep his eyes on her, an' if Kitty comes roun' to make her think the Rebel sojers is gwine to kotch her. He kin scare dat gal white. Pears like she's mighty 'feared of Genrul Washington an' his ban'." Agnes (handing her the letter and looking over her shoulder). "Geranium, you little know how much de- pends on this letter. 'Tis my mother's wish that I marry an English baronet whom I met at a ball at Lady Burlingame's. He's old enough to be my father. I don't know what I shall do. I am nearly beyond my wits." Geranium. "Don't you worry yo' pretty haid any mo', chile. It's all gwine to come out. right. You know ole Miss, yo' ma, is jes' chock full o' pride, and dat's jes' de reason she don't want you to marry Captain Peyton, 'kase he done jine de Rebels, an' yo' 2055233 6 POWDER AND PATCHES ma come from 'way up fokes yondah in Europy. She's lookin' pretty high fur you, I kin tell yo.' An' you'd shine anywhar, honey; you's proud an' high-steppin' as a young hoss. I done ask ole Miss one day what she call you such a common name like Agnes fur; you ought to bin named Jerusy or Victory Queen or some big name like dat. But (looking hastily around) hush! heah comes yo' ma." (Picks up feather duster and begins dusting and singing her refrain vigorously, "Ever since King Jesus set me free." etc. Enter Mistress Richard Carter. Looks suspiciously from Geranium to Agnes, who has seated herself has- tily and is reading a book. Mistress Carter (sarcastically). "Well, Geranium, this is rather a sudden conversion to activity, is it not? Truly, 'tis not your wont to thus employ your time." Geranium. "Now, Miss Mary, how come yo' talk dat a-way so onreasonin'? You know I'se a mighty over- worked niggah" Mistress Carter (with a significant glance from Agnes to Geranium). "I notice that you have been very busy for some time past taking walks, for in- stance, down to the hollow tree at the end of the avenue." Agnes looks up hastily, then drops her eyes upon her book again. Geranium drops her duster. Geranium. "Gawd knows, Miss Mary, I ain't never took no lettah to dat ole tree nor brung none back, shuah's King Gawge done reign ober dis Ian' an' de devil's gwine to kotch de Rebels." Mistress Carter (smiling sarcastically). "Did I say aught of any letter? Really, you make me suspicious. You are so quick to deny that of which I have not accused you. You may go, Geranium. I wish to POWDER AND PATCI1F.S 7 talk with Agnes. But stay (as Geranium hurries out). Perchance 'twould be as well to give me the letter in your bosom before you go." Geranium (protestingly). ''Now, Miss Mary, you will keep talkin' 'bout a lettah. How on earth's a po' niggah what don't know readin' an' writin' gwine to have a lettah ? Nobody ain't done writ to me." Mistress Carter (holding out her hand authorita- tively). "Say no more, Geranium. Give me the letter at once." Geranium (slowly feeling in the folds of the kerchief about her neck). "Well, fur de Lawd's sake, Miss Mary, if heah ain't a lettah ! How you 'spose dat lettah come in my bosom ? I tell you, Miss Mary, dis heah sojer, Genrul Washington, done conjure ev'y- body. Dis country's jest full of ghostes an' hants an' mixteries. Pears like de Lawd done desert His chil- lun, fur shuah." Mistress Carter (severely, taking the letter). "You may go, Geranium." Exit Geranium. Agnes bends her head lower over her book. Mistress Carter (handing her the letter). <: Agnes, this is your property, I believe. See, I return it to you unopened, although as your mother 'tis my duty to peruse its contents. You have been disobedient and undutiful" Agnes (rising hastily). "Mother, speak not thus to me, I pray you." Mistress Carter. "I do repeat, you have been most undutiful in writing to one whom I have forbidden the house." Agnes. "But, mother, Edward Peyton is a gentle- man. His father's estate lies next to ours and I have 8 POWDER AND PATCHES known him from a child. As children we raced to- gether in the woods and waded in the brooks" Mistress Carter (with a gesture of impatience). "Let me hear no more. When Edward Peyton joined the Rebel ranks he severed all possibility of any connec- tion with one of our name. Think you I would link your name with that of a traitor I, a loyal subject of King George? My girlhood was spent at the English court, and, though it has been my misfortune to be a settler in this Godforsaken, plebeian New World, yet rny heart is ever loyal to dear England and my King." Agnes (excitedly). "Mother, how can you speak thus of the land of my birth? 'Tis a beautiful land of promise, and as for being linked with a traitor, I am proud of Edward that he is fighting for what he believes to be right. For myself, I know not whether I am a loyal subject of King George, or whether I desire that the Colonies shall be free and independent states, and I believe father feels as I do." Mistress Carter (angrily). "This is treasonable lan- guage. Let me hear no more. You and your father may think as you please. I am loyal to my colors and fear not to show them. But let me hear no more of this lover of yours. Tonight I expect Sir Charles Mawly, who has requested the honor of addressing you, and you are to answer in the affirmative his offer ot marriage. (Listening a moment.) Hark! I hear carriage wheels. This may be Sir Charles. (Goes to window and looks out.) No, 'tis Betty Sinclair and that odd little Quaker cousin of hers from Phila- delphia." Enter Gabriel. Gabriel. "Mistress Betty Sinclair, Miss Mary, an' (commencing to laugh) she done got de queeres' little critter wid her vou ever done see." POWDER AXD PATCHES 9 Agnes. "Never mind giving us your opinion, Ga- briel. Conduct them to the library." Gabriel. "Yes, ma'am, Miss Agnes, I ain't gwine to 'spress no 'pinion. You know I'se a very circum- spectious niggah. 'Tain't my way to 'spress no 'pinion. I leave dat fur 'way low-down niggahs what ain't got no manners. 'Tain't my desire, neither, to be allus puttin' in my word." Mistress Carter (emphatically). "That will do, Gabriel." Gabriel. "Yes, ma'am, Miss Mary, I'm agwine right away. 1 ain't gwine to 'spress no 'pinion, neither. I know yo' all's ideahs 'bout niggahs havin' too much to say 'round' de house, an' I respec's yo' all's feelin's." Mistress Carter (severely). "Gabriel, you may go." Gabriel (backing out). "Yes, ma'am, Miss Mary. I'm agwine right 'long. I ain't gwine to 'spress no 'pinion, neither, but (pauses and laughs) she surt'inly is queer." Exit Gabriel. Enter Betty Sinclair, in short-waisted gown and large bonnet, and Prudence Hopewell. in Quaker cos- tume of gray with white apron, folded kerchief and bonnet. Betty runs up to Agnes and kisses her. Pru- dence curtsies to Mistress Carter and then greets Agnes. Betty. "My dearest love, if I am not glad to see you ! And you, dear Mistress Carter (curtsying to her), what a blessed while since I laid eyes on either of you. What, with rough roads and detachments of soldiers and the whole country so unsettled, one feels like flying to parts unknown. I wish somebody would win or be defeated the British or the Rebels or some- body. I am so tired of having to wait so long for 10 POWDER AND PATCHES clothes because prices are so dreadful. If it were not for an occasional ball, life would not be worth the living." Agnes and Betty sit together upon the couch, and Mistress Carter and Prudence sit in chairs near table. Mistress Carter knits as she converses. Mistress Carter. "Did you enjoy the ball at Lady Burlingame's, Betty?" Betty. "Did I ? It was a dream. Such gowns ! Did you see that lovely padusoy covered with flowers?" Agnes. "And that white-watered tabby trimmed with gold lace." Betty. "Yes yes and that lace head-dress Lady Burlingame wore. Why, it must have cost shillings and shillings a yard. And then the British officers i Such uniforms ! Heigho ! They make one's heart go pit-a-pat, even if one is a sort of rebel." Prudence HopewelL "Dear cousin Betty, I fear thy conversation hath a frivolous sound." Betty (with a burst of laughter). "Hear the ridicu- lous little creature ! Really, Prudence will be the death of me, with her 'thees' and 'thous.' She calls our coach and four a 'convenience,' and thinks it im- modest to appear without an apron, and sinful to wear puffs and pleats. Think of a dear little gray dove like that for one's conscience ! I really believe, though, that way down in her heart she has a tiny bit of fri- volity, and would like to wear ribons and laces and furbelows like the rest of us." Prudence (raising both hands). "Cousin Betty, thy tongue is an unruly member. Thee knows I desire to be free from guile." Mistress Carter (smiling). "Do not mind Betty. She is just a bundle of frivolity herself." POWDER AND PATCHES 11 Enter Gabriel. Gabriel (announcing, with a grand flourish). "Lady Burlingame and Sir Charles Mawly." All rise quickly. Mistress Carter (straightening her gown and touch- ing her wig). "Dear me! Show them to the drawing room, Gabriel. I will come immediately." Gabriel. Yes, ma'am, Miss Mary. Dey's mighty fine fokes, I tell yo'." Mistress Carter. "Gabriel, that will do." Gabriel. "Yes, ma'am, Miss Mary. I ain't gwine to 'spress no 'pinion ; but dey's all trussed up like Christ- mas fowls" (Mistress Carter looks at him and he hastens out.) Mistress Carter. "I will leave you girls together for a time and go to my guests." Exit Mistress Carter. Betty (running to Agnes). "Oh, Agnes, dearest, have you had a letter?" Agnes (sadly, shaking her head). "Not for two long months, and oh, Betty, dear, I am so unhappy!" (Puts her arms about Betty's neck and sobs.) Betty (soothingly). "There, now, don't cry, because maybe I have some good news." Agnes (catching her hands in both of hers, eagerly). "Oh, Betty, dear, tell me what you know. You have heard something." Betty (laughing). "How you jump at conclusions! Suppose, now, somebody was alive and well, and was not very far from here." Agnes. "Sh !" (with her finger on her lips, looking toward Prudence). Betty (laughing). "Oh, do not mind Prudence. She 12 POWDER AND PATCHES is too much of a little saint to betray even such sin- ners as we are, and then, what does she know of such a frivolous thing as love?" Prudence (demurely shaking her head). "Fear me not. I know naught of love. My thoughts are upon higher things." Agnes. "Hasten, Betty, dearest, and tell me what you have heard. I am consumed with curiosity and anxiety. You know this Sir Charles Mawly has come to ask my hand in marriage. I tell you, I will not marry him." Enter Mr. Richard Carter. Mr. Carter. "Hoity-toity! What's this, I hear? These three heads together mean nothing short of a Rebel conspiracy." Agnes (running to him). "Oh, father, dearest, I am so miserable !" Betty (catching his arm). "Yes, dear Mr. Carter, Agnes is very unhappy." Prudence (coming forward). "Yes, verily. Friend Carter, thy child is very sad." Mr. Carter. "Well, bless my soul ! What can the matter be? Has King George abdicated or has Gen- eral George vacated?" Agnes. "Now, father, dear, do not joke at such a time. Do be serious for once, when your child is on the verge of despair. You know I have not heard from Edward for two months, and I know not if he be living or dead, and mother is even now in the drawing room with Sir Charles Mawly, whom she insists J shall marry. Now, father, please do help me." Mr. Carter (jokingly). "How can I help you. my dear Agnes, if your mother has laid down the law"- Agnes (with an impatient shrug). "Assert your POWDER AXD PATC1IKS 13 auiliority. Refuse to allow me to be the wife of a man I despise." Mr. Carter. "My dearest daughter, I have lived with your mother for over twenty years. Do you think I should be here to tell the tale if I had ever resisted her authority? I have always allowed hef to have her own way, or think she had, and conse- quently we have lived a most peaceable and amiable sort of existence." Agnes. "Father, you are incorrigible. You will never be serious." (Begins to cry.) Mr. Carter (putting his arm about her). "There, don't cry. I haven't said I would not see what could be done, have I? Sometimes a citadel that cannot be captured by storm can be taken by strategy." Betty (clapping her hands). "Oh, tell us, dear Mr. Carter, what you are going to do." Mr. Carter (tapping her under the chin). "Tell you, you little chatterbox. Why, if I wanted to spread my plans all over the country" Betty (clapping her hand over his mouth). "How dare you say such things of poor little me?" Mr. Carter (continuing). "And do you suppose I would talk of strategy before such an innocent little creature as Mistress Prudence?" Prudence (with a quaint courtesy). "Oh, friend Carter, pray do not mind me. I am interested in the welfare of dear Agnes." Mr. Carter (smiling). "Even the little gray dove is capable of being bribed. Well, well, as for plans I have not had time to make any, but (taking a pinch of snuff and looking wise) we shall see we shall see." Enter Gabriel. 14 POWDER AND PATCHES Gabriel. "Mars Richard, Miss Mary done want to see you in the drawing room." Agnes. "Oh, father, dear, mother wants you to see Sir Charles. Do not give your consent." Mr. Carter. "My dear daughter, I can only parry the thrust for the present, but have patience." Exit Mr. Carter. Betty. "And all this time I have been waiting to tell my secret. No, I will not tell you. You cannot come with me, now ; so we will run the risk. Pru- dence, be on your guard." Exit Betty. Agnes (looking mystified). "Has Betty lost her wits? On what scheme is she bent now, Prudence?" Prudence. "Alas ! I am but a simple Quaker maiden, friend Agnes. How should I know of schemes?" Captain Edward Peyton and Lieutenant Robert Burns enter unperceived by Agnes. Prudence makes no sign. Agnes. "You ridiculous little maid, of course you know nothing of schemes, and, Prudence, dear, be very glad that you know nothing of love, either. A girl in love is the most unhappy creature in the world." Edward. "And why, pray?" Agnes (turning with a start, pauses a moment, then gives a glad little cry and runs into his arms). "Ed- ward !" Edward. "My darling!" Agnes. "Oh, Edward, how did you get here? Why have you not written ? I have been so wretched !" Edward. "Do you think I have been less wretched, clear girl not one word have I heard from you for two months." POWDER AND PATCHES 15 Agnes. "Two months ! I have written nearly every day. Edward, there has been some treachery. It is as Geranium has said : Some one has discovered our se-cret and has taken the letters but never mind, I have you now. Tell me all about yourself." Edward. "We have been stationed near Mount Air- ly Betty Sinclair's home, and 'twas in this way that Betty managed to smuggle us here to-day but I have so much to tell you and the time is short Betty stands guard at the door." (He leads her to the couch, where they engage in earnest conversation.) Lieutenant Robert Burns (making eyes for a mo- ment or two at the little Quakeress aside) "Zounds ! but that is a pretty bit of womankind ; I'll speak to her." (Aloud) " 'Pon my soul, sweet mistress, you and I count for little. Love is blind, they say, so the pair yonder evidently did not see us, at least we were not made acquainted. I am Robert Burns, Lieutenant with the Virginia Volunteers." Prudence (Making a courtesy.) "And I am Mistress Prudence Hopewell, of Philadelphia. Good Friend " Robert Burns (aside). "Friend! That sounds encour- aging." (Aloud, looking over shoulder at couple on the couch). "I am glad love is blind." Prudence. "I am but a simple Quaker maiden, good sir. I know nothing of love." Robert Burns (eagerly, moving towards her). "Let me teach you." Prudence (drawing away). "Sir! I have been taught to spin and weave, to read sermons and 'The whole duty of man !' I have learned of patience, of humility and good behavior ; but not of such an un- seemly thing as love." Robert. "\Yhew ! then has your education been sadly 16 POWDER AND PATCHES neglected. Pretty eyes like yours were never made to wear themselves out reading sermons. Soft little hands like these (taking them gently and bending over and kissing one) were made for lovers kisses. When the birds were singing in the trees and the flowers were all in bloom, did not something (drawing her to him) whisper to you that patience and humility were very ordinary virtues, that there was something sweeter, more beautiful?" Prudence (with a sigh). "Was that love?" Robert Burns. "That was love." Prudence (with another sigh). "I believe, good friend, I like love best of all." (Her head sinks on her breast.) Mrs. Carter appears and stands at the doorway in amazement and anger. Mrs. Carter (entering). "Agnes! What is the meaning of this extraordinary, this shocking scene?" The young people fall away from one another in dismay. Agnes and Edward rise hastily. Mrs. Carter. "Mr. Peyton !" Captain Edward (interrupting). "Captain Peyton, at your service, Madam." Mistress Carter (haughtily). I recognize no titles in the Rebel army, sir. You have proven a worthy follower of a vagabond band." Edward (with his hand on his v sword). Madam, were you not a woman and the mother of the girl I love, you would take back those words or never speak again." Mistress Carter (with a sarcastic laugh and shrug). "A very pretty bravery! But I am a woman and the mother of a disobedient girl, Mr. Peyton. If you have the slightest semblance of manhood left you will leave POWDKK AND PATCHES 17 the house, from which you have been ordered and in which your presence is decidedly unwelcome." Agnes. "Mother, dearest." Mistress Carter. "Silence, undutiful child." Captain Peyton (bowing). "Madam, as I am a gen- tleman, I am unwilling to longer force myself upon you. As I am a captain in the army of one of the noblest of gentlemen, General George Washington, I am compelled for the present to take my departure. Permit me to say, however, that I love your daughter and if I live shall make her my wife." Exit Captain Peyton. Robert Burns (stands looking awkward and uncom- fortable, as Mistress Carter eyes him from head to foot, he bows). "Lieutenant Robert Burns, at your service." Contemptuously she ignores him and turns to Pru- dence. Mistress Carter. "As for you, my little Quaker miss, you are a model of prudence and sobrietv !" Prudence (with clasped hands). "Dear Mistress Carter, I was but learning of love." Mistress Carter (explosively). "Well, of all things !" Turns her back upon them both, and while she talks to Agnes reprovingly, Prudence reaches out her hand to Robert, who kisses it. She then takes her handkerchief from her bosom, kisses it and tosses it to him. He presses it to his lips, bows and disappears. She runs to the door, looks after him, comes slowly back, lifts up her eyes, folds her arms and sighs deeply. Mrs. Carter (imperiously). "Agnes, here come Lady lUtrlingame and Sir Charles Mawly. Let them see no signs of disturbance upon your face.' 18 POWDER AND PATCHES Enter Mr. Richard Carter, Lady Burlingame and Sir Charles Mawly, laughing and talking. Lady Burlingame (affectedly). "I was just saying, dear Mistress Carter, that I should be so happy when Lord Burlingame's mission was concluded and we were permitted to return to dear old England. (Turn- ing toward Agnes.) My dear Agnes" (kisses her delicately upon either cheek). Sir Charles Mawly bows very low and Agnes courte- sies to him. They sit upon the couch. Lady Burlingame, continuing (as she sits in a chair, languidly). "I should really die of ennui no court life and the fashions months old. Alack-a-day, I shouldn't know whether to wear high heels and long stays or low heels and loose robes, and if I sent for a new wig I should be quite sure when I received it that powder was out of fashion. Really, it must be mon- strous trying to live in so barbarous and plebian a land." Mistress Carter (who is seated in a chair near Lady B., sighing). "Heigho! dear Lady Burlingame; it is very wearying on ones nerves." Mr. Carter (walking to center of group). "It really is heartrending! Your nerves must be all gone, my dear, as you have lived in this barbarous country about twenty-five years." Mistress Carter makes an impatient gesture. Sir Charles Mawly, an affected old beau (rising). "My dear Mistress Carter, how I pity you! It is so very crude, you know, in this Colonial world." (Offers snuff to Mr. Carter, takes some himself, and dusts his coat affectedly.) "One can't help being amused at the strangeness of everything; and then the society is so very mixed, you know Tis a mingling of cotton and brocade of gold lace and linsey I can't help laugh- POWDER AND PATCHES 19 ing at the idea of this George Washington (I believe that's the name), becoming the ruler of this country. Of course such an outcome is simply impossible against the odds, but what an amusing coterie ht would draw around him such a tatter demalior. rag- a-muffin court !" Lady Burlingame joins in the laugh. Agnes (straightening herself angrily). "Sir Charles, pardon me, but you are ridiculing the land of my birth, and General Washington is a gentleman whose presence would grace any assemblage." Sir Charles Mawly (hastily taking a pinch of snuff). ''No offence, my dear young lady, I assure you. Per- mit me to say, however, that your beauty and grace were never made to be wasted on this desert air ; they will thrive only upon less rugged soil. You are a dainty exotic." (Bows.) Lady Burlingame (coyly). "And Sir Charles would transplant your charm to his own garden. But what have we here (going to Prudence and inspecting her). What an odd child ; what sort of a little plant is this, pray?" Prudence (drawing herself to her full height and making a stiff courtesy). "Madam, I am Prudence Hopewell, at thy service." Lady Burlingame (laughing and looking her over). "Prudence Hopewell a name as odd as your gown." Prudence (aside). Prudence! Verily, Prudence! Keep down the righteous wrath ! (aloud.) "Madam, I am a Quakeress, not a curiosity." Lady Burlingame (with condescension). "Dear me! I have heard of the sect before ; you are certainly very unique." Prudence (with spirit). "As thee says, this is a 20 POWDER AND PATCHES barbarous land. But if these be the manners of our Mother Country, I will return in peace to Philadel- phia." Mr. Carter laughs to himself, as Lady B. walks away from the Quakeress in anger. Sir Charles Mawly (laughing affectedly). "Subside, dear Lady Burlingame ; the pretty baggage hath wit and a sharp tongue despite her modest garb." Enter Betty Sinclair, hastily. Betty. "Agnes, he's gone." (Stops, seeing the guests.) Mistress Carter (aside). "That piece of impudence is at the bottom of this. I will soon stop her tongue. (Aloud.) Mistress Betty Sinclair, you have the pleas- ure of knowing my guests, I believe. Let me present Sir Charles Mawly in a new capacity as the future husband' of my daughter, Agnes." Agnes (excitedly). "Mother." Sir Charles bows; Betty courtesies and Mr. Carter touches Agnes and puts his finger upon his lips. (Curtain.) ACT II. SCENE. Living room at Glenview. One month is supposed to have elapsed between first and second acts. Enter Geranium. "Dis am a fine state of affairs, I mus' say. Whew I if ole Miss ain' mad I'll eat my turban. It wouldn't 'sprise me if she'd bust any minute. Heah we bin waitin' one hour fur a weddin' an' dah aint no bride- groom." POWDKU AND PATCHES 21 Muter Betty Sinclair in wedding finery ( pretending to look anxious.) "Oh, Geranium, isn't this dreadful? The house full of guests, and they are getting impatient, and not a sign of Gabriel or Sir Charles. Gabriel could not have lost his way, could he?" Geranium. "Los" his way? What you talkin' 'bout chile? \Yhy dat niggah bin drivin' back and forth over dat road fur de last fifteen yeahs. No, 1 tell you, Miss Betty, dis country's full o' ghostes. You couldn't hire me to go by dat graveyard down by de fork, and dey has to pass dere. I've heard o' groanin's an' moanin's an' rattlin' bones down dat a way foah dis, honey ; shuah's you bawn, some ole witch done swoop down an' kotch up Gabriel an' Sir Charles an' we won't never see hide nor hair of either of 'em any mo'." Betty (aside). "Heaven grant it to be true, (aloud.) Now, Geranium, dont' be absurd ; you speak as though the air were as full of witches as of buzzards, seeking whom they might devour. It's my opinion Gabriel has lost his way." Geranium. "He ain't los' no way, honey ; der's some kin' of mixtery 'bout des heah weddin'. I tell yo' de Lawd don' prove of it or somethin'. Well, I mus' go an' see my baby lam'. She 'looks like a corpse hersc'f. Maybe dere's a judgement comin' to ole Miss fur 'sistin' on Miss Agnes marryin' dat man stid of Mars Edward, kase every one knows she's pinin' her life 'way tur him. Ef ole Miss pride gits any mo' twists she's gwine to bus' foah dis day is over, mark my word." Exit Geranium. Betty (excitedly). "Oh, I wonder if it will come out right. I am so afraid our scheme will miscarry." 22 POWDER AND PATCHES Enter Mr. Carter Betty runs to him. "Oh, dear Mr. Carter, is she angry enough yet to give in?" Mr. Carter (laughing). ''Well, nearly. She will never let the guests go away without a wedding, of that you may be sure; her pride could never stand the gossip around the country side." Betty. "But they won't hurt Sir Charles when they surround the carriage? That would be too bad !" Mr. Carter. "Sh ! not so loud. I told you you made a poor conspirator, with your chattering tongue. Of course they won't hurt him. Do you suppose he would fight if put to the test ; not he. 'Tis a gentleman of the drawing room, who, if I mistake not, will faint at the sight of a highwayman's mask." Betty. "Does Agnes suspect anything?" Mr. Carter. "No, poor child; if she did she would not look so sad and pale. My only consolation is we are sacrificing her now to make her happy later." Enter Prudence. Mr. Carter. "Here comes one of our conspirators." Prudence. "Dear Friend Carter, call me not a con- spirator ; I am but a Quaker maiden, and know noth- ing of schemes." Mr. Carter and Betty both laugh merrily. Mr. Carter. "Nothing of schemes? Why Lucretia Borgia was a mere innocent babe compared with you, and you look so young and innocent." Betty. "And you know nothing of love, either." (Laughs.) Prudence pouts. Enter Agnes in wedding gown and veil, Mistress Carter in brocade, white wig and lace. POWDER AND PATCHES 23 Mistress Carter. "Go and sit down, child; you are nervous ; your father will give you some wine." Agnes goes to a seat and Mr. Carter pours a glass of wine. Betty and Prudence go to her and lovingly arrange her veil and gown. Mistress Carter paces the floor for a moment ; pauses and speaks explosively "Well, this is monstrous ! Over one hour we have waited upon the pleasure of the bridegroom and my child is still waiting. I feel as though I could never face those people again with their stares and whispered asides." Mr. Carter (coming forward). "My dear, you seem to be agitated." Mistress Carter. ''Agitated ! Agitated ! Well, who would not be agitated? You are perfectly calm. It is of little consequence to you whether your child is ever wedded or not. Do you suppose I would suffer the disgrace of having her remain single all her days and such a brilliant opportunity! It is horrible. I tell you, if you are half a man you will challenge Sir Charles in the morning for his insult to your child." Enter Lady Burlingame. Lady B. "My dear Mistress Carter, is not this extraordinary?" Mistress Carter. "Extraordinary? It is abominable, insulting, humiliating. I wonder that you introduced such a man into our midst." Lady Burlingame (drawing herself to her full height). "Madame, you forget yourself. Sir Charles Mawly is an English gentleman of fine lineage. Am I responsible because he does not appear at the proper moment to wed your child? Perchance he was lost in the miserable roads in your barbarous country." Mistress Carter. "Miserable roads! There were 24 POWDER AND PATCHES some horrible roads in England, if I mistake not, when I was a girl." Lady Burlingame (sarcastically). "But, my dear Mistress Carter, that was such a very long time ago, you know." Mistress Carter. "Indeed ! You must have trav- eled over them about the same time, dear Lady Bur- lingame, so you must remember." Lady Burlingame (angrily). "'Pon my word, Mis- tress Carter, you show a very ugly temper. You were anxious enough to catch Sir Charles, even if you are so ready now to berate us both because your schemes have miscarried." Mistress Carter. "Allow me to inform you, Lady Burlingame, that there was no need for anxiety as to my daughter's marriage. She is very young, and then, too, she does not have to beg for suitors. Captain Edward Peyton, whose estate lies next to ours, has long desired her hand in marriage." Betty Sinclair slips out and returns immediately. Lady Burlingame (drawlingly). "Really! Then why has he not appeared upon the scene before?" Captain Edward (standing in the doorway in satin and velvet). "He is here, madam, at your service." Mistress Carter and Lady Burlingame look startled. Agnes rushes forward with a glad cry, "Edward," and he takes her in his arms. Edward. "Madam, your guests are in the drawing- room waiting for a wedding. It will scarcely do to disappoint them. Shall I marry your daughter?" Mistress Carter (angrily). "It is a plot/' Lady Burlingame (with a toss of the head). "There is some monstrous plot here, Madam Carter. You may appear innocent, but I am not deceived." POWDKR AXD PATCHKS 25 Mistress Carter (looking at her defiantly a moment, then turning to the young couple in the doorway). "Come into the drawing room and be married." Exit Mistress Carter, Captain Peyton, Agnes, Betty Sinclair and Prudence. Lady Burlingame. "Mr. Carter, I have been in- sulted ; oblige me by ordering my coach and four at once." Mr. Carter. "My dear Lady Burlingame, may I crave your patience. (Places a chair for her she hes- itates angrily a moment, then sits down and he takes a seat near by). You are a most charming woman and, like all charming women, I know you love a romance. There has been a plot, I acknowledge it ; but neither my wife nor my daughter had the slightest suspicion of it. Agnes was pining away her young life for love of this Captain Peyton and her mother was set on the other match. You may have observed, Mistress Carter is somewhat determined." Lady Burlingame (with a sneer). "Quite an appar- ent fact, my dear Mr. Carter." Mr. Carter. "Well, there was naught to do but to detain the carriage. I think there were some bogus highwaymen, but do not be alarmed ; Sir Charles will not be injured ; he is to be rescued and will probably appear very soon." Lady Burlingame (rising). "But what will Mistress Carter say ?" Mr. Carter (rising and going to small table holding decanter). "That will come later. Meantime I will fortify myself for an explosion." (Pours a glass of wine, offers to Lady Burlingame and both drink, touch- ing their glasses together.) Lieutenant Burns enters from left of stage, looks 26 POWDER AND PATCHES around and, seeing Mr. Carter and Lady Burlingame, dodges back of screen. Mr. Carter. "And now, my dear Lady, will you for- get and forgive and come to the drawing room." She smiles and gives him her hand, which he kisses, and he leads her out of the room. Enter from left Lieutenant Burns, cautiously, hold- ing a black mask in his hand. "Well, this is my first essay as a full-fledged high- wayman. If all prey were as easily captured !" Enter Prudence. Lieutenant Burns. "Ah, my little gray bird; are you doing penance for being in so deep laid a scheme?" Prudence (shaking her finger). "Thee should be repenting thy sins, Mr. Highwayman. Cut short thy career at the beginning put away thy mask it may betray thee." Lieutenant Robert Burns (thrusting mask in pock- et). "Really, good Mistress Prudence, 'tis hard to repent when one has so charming a co-conspirator, and so easy prey. Oh, if you could but have seen the poor baronet shake and tremble when Sergeant Brown and I stopped the coach. Egad ! but he was a precious coward ! Gabriel nearly rolled off the seat with laugh- ter. I was afraid the black scoundrel would spoil everything. Sir Charles went down on his knees and begged us to spare his life. The rescuing party came in due time and will escort him to the avenue. I gal- loped on ahead, and here I am. Did Mistress Carter give in at last ?" Prudence. "Yes, she was, alas, very angry at Sir Charles and then Captain Peyton appeared by chance." Lieutenant Robert (repeating, with a wink). "By chance, of course." POWDER AND PATCHES 27 Prudence. "Of course by chance (looks wise). She consented to his marriage with Agnes. They are in the drawing room now being married." Lieutenant Robert (coming closer). "I wish we were, don't you?" Prudence (looking innocent). "Alas, good sir; I am but a simple Quaker maiden ; what do I know of marriage?" Lieutenant Burns. "Well, if you know as much of marriage as you know of schemes, and love, and a few other things, we shall get on famously." Prudence. "But thou art not a Quaker." Lieutenant Robert. "I think I am a Quaker once removed, or something. That is, I think there were Quakers in the family once upon a time. I believe I remember very distinctly my grandfather used to talk that way ; he used to say to me so often, 'Robert, hast thou' I mean, 'hast thee done thou chores?" Prudence (rolling up her eyes at him). "I fear he was of a different sect from ours." Lieutenant Robert, "Then I think it would be very pleasant to be related to the Quakers by marriage, don't you?" Prudence (casting down her eyes). "I think it would be most seemly, Friend Robert, if 'tis thy wish." Robert (catching her in his arms). "Oh, Prudence, you darling!" (They sit upon the couch.) Enter Betty Sinclair. "Well, it's all over. (Stops, seeing the two embrac- ing.) No, I think it has just begun, Ahem ! (They pay no attention.) Shall I call the clergyman? We might as well have a wedding in every room. Pru- 28 POWDER AND PATCHES dence ! I am astonished. (They fall apart guiltily.) Have you no sense of propriety?" Lieutenant Burns (rising from the couch). "Xo\v, do not scold Prudence; you know she is a simple little Quaker maiden, and knows nothing of love." Betty (shaking her finger). "Prudence, if you ever dare tell me that again ! But (to Robert) what have you done with Sir Charles?" Robert (laughing). "He is coming on the road somewhere. He'll be here very soon and then there'll be a pretty kettle of fish." Enter Agnes and Edward. Edward. "What a relief, my darling, to be away from all those people." Agnes (running to Betty). "Oh, dear, Betty : I am so happy." Edward (coming forward). "Yes, dear Betty, we are very happy, and Burns, my good fellow (taking his hand), I must give you my our warmest thanks. Did everything run smoothly?" Robert. "My dear comrade, the plot moved without a hitch. But, zounds ! what a coward I could have knocked him over with my little finger." Agnes (looking from one to the other). "What plot?" Betty. "Do not ask any questions now, my dear. Accept the blessings of Providence as they fall. Did you see how calmly the guests took the change of bridegrooms. If they were surprised they were too pol te to show it. I trust the bridegroom that was to have been will be as calm Hush ! here he comes." Loud talking in the hall. The young ladies sit down quickly and all try to appear unconcerned. POWDER AND PATCH IS 29 Yqice outside. "Outrage ! outrage !" Enter Sir Charles in an excited and angry state. Enter also Gabriel with lantern and whip, and Mr. Richard Carter. Sir Charles. "I tell you, Mr. Carter, it is an outrage that a man can not travel any distance in this God- forsaken land without being robbed and murdered." Mr. Carter. "My dear Sir Charles, have you been robbed? You do not look as though you have been murdered ; I do not see a scratch upon you." Sir Charles. "That was my skill, Mr. Carter; Heav- en be thanked that I am an adept with my sword ; I know not how many men I have left torn and bleeding on the road." Gabriel. "Te ! he ! he !" Sir Charles. "You black rascal, how dare you laugh when I have come through such an ordeal ; you wore of great assistance, I must say. Mr. Carter, 1 would have the rascal whipped. He sat upon the box and did not even dismount to come to my aid." Mr. Carter (assuming an angry expression of coun- tenance). "Gabriel, you wretch, what do you mean by such knavery?" Gabriel. "Xow, Mars Richard, jes' let me 'splanify. You see we wuz drivin' an' drivin' 'long, an' the road wuz dark an' I wuz settin' up putty straight watchin' fur ghostes." Mr. Carter. "You are always on the lookout for ghosts and witches, Gabe." Gabriel. "Well, you rekommember, Mars Richard, dat dere wuz a man murdered 'bout ten yeahs ago down by de branch, an' Solomon Meadowgrass he wuz drivin' 'long dat road one night " 30 POWDER AND PATCHES Mr. Carter (interrupting). "Never mind about Solomon, Gabriel." Gabriel. "No, sir, Mars Richard, I ain't gwine to say nothin' 'bout Solomon ; but ain't nobody ever see nothin' of him since that night. Well, we come 'long to de bunch of willows down by de branch an' some- body come out by de side of de kerridge an say Halt an' I jes' natchelly halt, kase 'twant common sense to go on when somebodv wid two pistols in his hands say 'Halt!" 1 Sir Charles. "Villainous looking wretches they were, too, Mr. Carter.' Lieutenant Burns straightens himself in an indig- nant manner and Captain Peyton, Betty and Agnes look at him, laughingly. Gabriel (continuing). "An' dey open de kerridge an' Sir Charles he got out an' fall on his knees." Sir Charles (interrupting hastily). "Ahem! Enough said, you scoundrel. Fortunate for me, you poltroon, that I am a man of courage. Suffice it to say that I was compelled to defend myself unaided and alone. Mr. Carter, I descended from the carriage, slashed right and left with my good sword, cutting my way through the band of highwaymen." Captain Peyton (aside, with a long breath). "Whew ! there were just two." (holds up two fingers). Agnes (coming forward). "But, Sir Charles, is it not strange that you have come from this bloody fray with no stains upon your coat ; you must be wondrous skillful." Sir Charles (bowing). "Fair Mistress, pardon me if I say I am counted amongst my intimates quite a man of skill ; 'twas a mere nothing. But, I beg you to forgive me, if I in my excitement forgot what was due to you (bowing low). Shall I ever be able to make POWDER AXn I'ATCh due apologies and reparation for my seemingly ungal- lant conduct?" Agnes (making a courtesy). "Sir Charles I am quite willing to forgive you." Sir Charles. "Ah, your nature is as sweet as your face, dear mistress. I am fortunate to have won so charming a mate." Edward Peyton (stepping forward and bowing). "Sir Charles Mawly, I am Captain Edward Peyton, at your service. The charm of Mistress Agnes I ac- knowledge ; but, as she hath become Madame Peyton within the hour, I fear you cannot call her your mate." Sir Charles. "Zounds! Sir, what are you saying? My bride has become another's? A further outrage! Sir, you must answer for this." (Draws his sword partly from its sheath.) Captain Peyton (bowing; drawing his sword in the same manner). "I am at your service, Sir Charles; if the ladies will but withdraw." Agnes (clasping his arm with both hands). "No, no, Edward, I pray you, do not fight." Enter Lady Burlingame and Mistress Carter ; they start back. Lady Burlingame. "What's this, a duel ; and on a wedding eve? Gentlemen, gentlemen, I am aston- ished ! Charles, dear friend, put up your sword ; you are the best of fellows at heart; this charming girl has just been made a wife; you surely would not make her a widow ; and then, you know, you really wouldn't fight for the world." Sir Charles (blustering). "Madam, you try me be- yond the bounds of friendship. Do you accuse me of being a coward, when I left in yonder road three, per- chance four or five bleeding highwaymen?" 32 POWDER AND PATCHES Lieutenant Robert Burns (aside). "Well, he de- serves a medal from King George for lying a brother to Ananias!" Mistress Carter. "Sir Charles, I consider your pres- ence in this house an insult after your treatment of my daughter." Mr. Carter. "My dear. Sir Charles was beset by highwaymen, and really has been unfortunate." Mistress Carter (proudlv). "I wish no explanation, sir." Lady Burlingame (touching her arm). "Come, Mis- tress Carter; forgive Sir Charles, and you, Sir Charles, forgive the lucky bridegroom. All's well that ends well ! The young people are happy and you have left in yonder road four or five, or did you say six, bleeding highwaymen, so we acknowledge your prowess, and I know you are very good-natured, so let us all shake hands and be friends." Captain Edward extends his hand; Sir Charles blus- ters and hesitates for a moment and then takes the proffered hand. Mistress Carter extends her hand, which Sir Charles raises to his lips. Betty Sinclair. "Come, I can keep still no longer. They are dancing in the drawing room. Let us have a minuet here." The rugs are taken up and furniture moved aside by Gabriel and Geranium, and the minuet is danced. During the dancing of the minuet the little Quakeress sits demurely watching the dancers for a time, rises, takes a step or two, catches at her skirts modestly, sits down, then rises again and again sits down, finally falling into a little dance of her own. CURTAIN.