'/2-^-<^^.
 
 Copyright, 1 90 1 
 
 By 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY SOCIETY
 
 COLLEGE 
 UBRARy 
 
 PR 
 
 THE 
 MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR. 
 
 Preface. 
 
 A 
 
 1 ^ 
 
 The Editions. The earliest known edition of The 
 Merry Wives of Windsor is a Quarto printed in 1602 
 with the following title-page : — 
 
 " A most pleasuant and excellent conceited Comedie, of 
 Sir lohn Falstaffe and the merrie Wiues of Windsor. 
 Entermixed with sundrie variable and pleasing humours 
 of Sir Hugh the Welch Knight, lustice Shalloix', and his 
 wise Cousin M. Slender. With the swaggering vaine of 
 Auncient Pistoll, and Corporall Nym, By William 
 Shakespeare. As it hath bene diuers times Acted by the 
 right Honorable my Lord Chamberlaines Seruants. Both 
 before her Maiestie, and elsewhere. London Printed by 
 T. C. for Arthur lohnson, and are to be sold at his shop 
 in Powles Churchyard, at the signe of the Flower de 
 Leuse and the Crowne '' (reprinted in the Cambridge 
 Shakespeare and in Hazlitt's Shakespeare's Library ; a 
 facsimile is included in Dr. Fumival's Shakespeare Quar- 
 tos, Quaritch). A second Quarto, a mere reprint of the 
 first, appeared in 1619. 
 
 In the first Folio the play occupies pp. 39-60; its length 
 there is more than double that of the Quartos, from which 
 it differs to such an extent as to give the impression of 
 being a revised and expanded version of a mere garbled 
 and pirated sketch. 
 
 Date of Composition. The first Quarto was entered 
 in the Stationers' Registers under date i8th Jan. 1602;
 
 Preface MERRY WIVES 
 
 the play was probably written after Henry V., i.e. after 
 the middle of the year 1599. In the epilogue to 2 Henry 
 IV. a promise had been given to continue the story with 
 Sir John in it; this promise was not kept in Henry V.; 
 and " The Merry Wives," according to a well authenti- 
 cated tradition, was composed by command of the Queen, 
 " who obliged Shakespeare to write a Play of Sir John 
 Falstaff in Love, and which I am very well assured he 
 performed in a fortnight: a prodigious thing when all is 
 well contrived, and carried on without the least con- 
 fusion " (Gildon, 1710; Dennis first mentions the tra- 
 dition in 1702; cp. title-page of 1602 edition). 
 
 The date of the first composition of the play may with 
 certainty be placed at about 1600 (probably Christmas, 
 1599).* 
 
 An old tradition identifies Justice Shallow with Shake- 
 speare's old enemy, Sir Thomas Lucy (of the deer-poach- 
 ing story) ; Lucy died in July, 1600, and it is held by some 
 that the Poet would not have waited '' till his butt was in 
 the grave before he aimed his shafts at him." At the 
 same time it is noteworthy that the '' dozen white luces " 
 is only found in the Folio, not* in the Quarto editions. 
 The question at issue, on which scholars are divided, is 
 whether the Quarto represents a pirated edition of an 
 early sketch of the play, revised and enlarged in the first 
 Folio version, or whether both versions are to be referred 
 back to the same original. In support of the former 
 theory it is alleged that the substitution of " King " in the 
 Folio (I. i. 112) for "council" of the Quarto, the pos- 
 sible reference to the cheapening of knighthood (" These 
 knights will hack," II. i. 52), and similar internal evi- 
 dence, point to the reign of James I. ; these scholars there- 
 
 * Shakespeare acted in Every Man in His Humour in 1598, and 
 the two plays have much in common (cp. e.g. Ford and Kitely; 
 Nym's reiteration of 'humour/ etc.). 
 
 In the Return from Parnassus, acted at Cambridge, probably 
 Christmas, 1601, the French Doctor is obviously an imitation of 
 Dr. Caius.
 
 OF WINDSOR Preface 
 
 fore date the Folio version about 1605. On the other 
 hand, Mr. Daniel (Introduction to his editions) maintains 
 that " the character of the publishers of the Quarto, its 
 proved omissions, its recomposed passages (i.e. pas- 
 sages actually the work, not of Shakespeare, but of the 
 note-taker), its retention of (essential) passages omitted 
 in the Folio, the complication in both of the time-plot 
 lead almost inevitably to the conclusion that 
 there was but one original for both Quarto and Folio." 
 He points out further that the alleged internal evidence 
 of later revision is of little real value, but it is somewhat 
 difficult to get rid of these minutiae, and some slight re- 
 vision after 1603 is not inconsistent with this latter theory. 
 
 The Sources. This comedy of contemporary man- 
 ners probably owed very little to older plays or novels, but 
 it contains incidents not uncommon in Italian and other 
 stories. In the following tales a suspicious husband is 
 baffled much in the same way as Master Ford : — ( i) The 
 tale from // Pecorone di Ser Giovanni Fiorentino ', (2) 
 The old English version of this story in The Fortunate, 
 the Deceived, and the Unfortunate Lovers, 1632, reprinted 
 in 1685 ; (3) The Tale in Straparola similar to that in // 
 Pecorone; (4) The Tales of the Two Lovers of Pisa, 
 from Tarlton's Nezves out of Pergatorie, 1590; (5) The 
 second tale from Straparola, in which the youth makes 
 love to three ladies at once (cp. Hazlitt's Shakespeare's 
 Library, Part I. vol. iii.). 
 
 Heme. It would seem that there existed in Shake- 
 speare's day a tradition at Windsor that Heme was one 
 of the keepers of the Park, who, having committed an 
 offence for which he feared to be disgraced, hung himself 
 upon an oak, which was ever afterwards haunted by his 
 ghost. 
 
 The difference between the Quarto and Folio reference 
 to the story is noteworthy; the former reads: — 
 
 " Oft have you heard since Home the hunter dyed . . ." 
 
 3
 
 Preface MERRY WIVES 
 
 The Folio makes the tale a more ancient one (cp. IV. iv. 
 
 36-38). 
 
 The earliest notice of '' Heme's oak " is in a " Plan of 
 the Town and Castle of Windsor and Little Park " (Eton, 
 1742); in a map a tree marked '' Sir John Falstaff's oak " 
 is represented as being on the edge of a pit just on the 
 outside of an avenue which was formed in the seventeenth 
 century, and known as Queen Elizabeth's Walk. Halli- 
 well first printed, in his edition of the Quarto, a set of 
 verses '' Upon Heme's Oak being cut down in the spring 
 of 1796." Antiquarian research has demonstrated the 
 exactness of Shakespeare's knowledge of Old Windsor 
 (cp. Tighe and Davis' Annals of Windsor, Vol. i. pp. 
 673-686). 
 
 Duration of Action. As the play stands in the Quar- 
 tos and Folios it is impossible to arrange the time con- 
 sistently, owing to the confusion as regards Falstaff's in- 
 terviews with the Merry Wives in Act HI. Scene v. ; the 
 errors are probably due to compression of the play for 
 stage purposes. The first part of the scene, according to 
 Mr. Daniel {Transactions of New Shakespeare Society, 
 1878-9), is inseparably connected with the day of Fal- 
 staff's first interview with Mrs Ford ; the second part is 
 as inseparably connected with the day of the second inter- 
 view. The first part clearly shows us Falstaff in the 
 afternoon, just escaped from his ducking in the Thames; 
 the second part as clearly shows him in the early morning 
 about to keep his second appointment with Mrs Ford. 
 He proposes to make Ford's portion of the scene com- 
 mence the 4th Act, changing good morrow into good even 
 (Act HI. V. 28) and this morning into to-morrow morn- 
 ing (Act HI. V. 46). According to this arrangement the 
 following time analysis would result: — Day i. Act I. Sc. 
 i. to iv. ; Day 2, Act H. Sc. i. to iii.. Act HI. Sc. i. to iv., 
 and the Quickly portion of Sc. v. ; Day 3, the Ford por- 
 tion of Act in. Sc. V. to the end of the play. 
 
 If this suggestion is carried out, a further change is
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Preface 
 
 necessary in Act V. i. 14, where this mornini 
 read in place of yesterday. 
 
 should be 
 
 Time of Action. Though the play was in all proba- 
 bility composed after Henry V., the action may be sup- 
 posed to take place after the events recorded at the end 
 of 2 Henry IV.; the further degradation of the charac- 
 ter of Falstaff in The Merry Wives belongs to the early 
 years of " the madcap prince's " reign, when he had al- 
 ready renounced " the tutor and the feeder of his riot." 
 The characters intimately associated with Falstaff were 
 transferred with him from 2 Henry IV., with the excep- 
 tion of * Nym,' who appears for the first time in Henry 
 v.; Shallow's ' cousin,' Slender, of The Merry Wives, 
 takes the place of ' Silence ' of 2 Henry IV. ; Mrs 
 Quickly is identical only in name with the Hostess 
 Quickly of i, 2 Henry IV. and Henry V. 
 
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 1 
 
 U_j_Lj^JL- 
 
 
 Windsor in 1607, showing Garter Inn. 
 From Norden's bird's eye view of Windsor (1607)
 
 MERRY WIVES 
 
 Critical Comments. 
 
 Argument. 
 
 I, Sir John Falstaff has forsaken the warHke pursuits 
 famihar to his friend Prince Hal, afterwards Henry V. of 
 England, and is now devoted to the peaceful occupations 
 of poaching and love-making, though not neglecting the 
 drinking-cups of the tavern. Two women of Windsor, 
 Mistress Ford and Alistress Page, engage his attention 
 at the same time; and he resolves to lay siege to their 
 affections, notwithstanding both are married. 
 
 Mistress Page's daughter Anne is sought in marriage 
 by Slender — largely through his friends ; by Hugh 
 Evans, a Welsh curate and schoolmaster; by Dr. Caius, 
 a French physician; and by Fenton, a courtier. 
 
 II, Mistress Page and Mistress Ford each receive a 
 love-letter from Falstaff, and upon comparing their mis- 
 sives they find them almost identical. Being women of 
 w4t as well as of virtue, they agree to work together to- 
 w^ards humiliating the knight for his presumption. Mis- 
 tress Ford makes an appointment with him. His serv- 
 ants inform the husbands of the two women. Ford, under 
 an assumed name, meets Falstaff and, pretending to be a 
 suitor also for Alistress Ford, w^orms from the boastful 
 Falstaff the secret of his appointment with her. 
 
 III, Falstaff is punctual to his meeting w^ith IMistress 
 Ford. But before he arrives, she and Mistress Page pre- 
 pare a large basket c^ soiled linen in which Falstaff is to 
 be conveyed to the river, under the pretense that this is 
 the only way he can escape from the house. The pre-
 
 OF WINDSOR Comments 
 
 I 
 tense turns to reality when Ford actually arrives. And 
 the ruse of the clothes-basket deceives both gallant and 
 husband. Falstaff is dumped into the Thames, whence 
 he emerges much bedraggled, but with ardor so slightly 
 quenched as to become enkindled again upon receipt of a 
 message from Mistress Ford granting him a second in- 
 terview. Nor has he gained discretion from his first mis- 
 hap, for he unwittingly informs Ford of this rendezvous 
 also, and of the means whereby he escaped his former 
 predicament. The thoroughly aroused husband redoubles 
 his vigilance. 
 
 IV. Falstaff keeps his second appointment with Mis- 
 tress Ford. Her husband again surprises them. The 
 clothes-basket is sent down as before; and while Ford is 
 ransacking it under the firm belief that it again conceals 
 Falstaff, the latter is dressed in woman's clothes and 
 escapes thus disguised, though not avoiding sundry blows 
 from the irate husband. Mistress Ford and Mistress 
 Page then tell their husbands the truth about the Falstaff 
 episodes. The men are delighted to find their wives 
 faithful, and the four conjointly arrange a third and final 
 hoax which contemplates a night meeting in Windsor 
 Park. 
 
 Meanwhile Anne Page's love-affairs are becoming 
 tangled. She loves Fenton. Her father has chosen 
 Slender. Her mother privately favors Dr. Caius. When 
 the third prank on Falstaff is prepared, Anne and her 
 parents make conflicting plans to utilize the meeting for 
 bringing their separate matrimonial schemes to a head. 
 
 V. Falstaff is persuaded to go to Windsor Park, 
 wearing a buck's head. Anne Page and her friends im- 
 personate fairies and burn him with tapers. Ford, Page, 
 and their wives reveal themselves to him, reproach him 
 for his attempted villainy, and finally pardon him. The 
 wretched Falstaff finds his only satisfaction in hearing 
 that Anne Page has m.arried Fenton, despite the counter- 
 schemes of her father and mother. 
 
 McSpadden : Shakespearian Synopses.
 
 Comments MERRY WIVES 
 
 II. 
 The Request of Queen Elizabeth. 
 
 Old Queen Bess can scarcely have been a great judge of 
 art, or she would not have conceived the extravagant no- 
 tion of wanting to see Falstaff in love; she would have 
 understood that if there was anything impossible to him it 
 was this. She would also have realized that his figure 
 was already a rounded whole and could not be repro- 
 duced. It is true that in the Epilogue to Henry IV, 
 (which, however, is probably not by Shakespeare) a con- 
 tinuation of the history is promised, in which, " for any- 
 thing I know, Falstaff shall die of a sweat, unless already 
 he be killed with your hard opinions ; " but no such con- 
 tinuation is to be found in Henry F., evidently because 
 Shakespeare felt that Falstaff had played out his part. 
 Neither is The Merry Wives the promised continuation, 
 for Falstaff does not die, and the action is conceived as 
 an earlier episode in his life, though it is entirely removed 
 from its historical setting and brought forward into the 
 Poet's own time, so unequivocally that there is even in 
 the fifth Act a direct mention of " our radiant queen " in 
 Windsor Castle. 
 
 The Poet must have set himself unwillingly to the ful- 
 filment of the " radiant queen's " barbarous wish, and 
 tried to make the best of a bad business. He was com- 
 pelled entirely to ruin his inimitable Falstaff, and degrade 
 the fat knight into an ordinary avaricious, wine-bibbing, 
 amatory old fool. Along with him, he resuscitated the 
 whole merry company from Henry V., who had all come 
 to an unpleasant end — Bardolph, Pistol, Nym, and Dame 
 Quicklv — making the men repeat themselves with a dif- 
 ference, endowing Pistol with the splendid phrase " The 
 world 's mine oyster, which I with sword will open," and 
 giving to Dame Quickly softened and more common- 
 place lineaments. From the Second Part of Henry IV., 
 too, he introduces Justice Shallow, placing him in a less 
 
 8
 
 OF WINDSOR Comments 
 
 friendly relation to Falstaff, and giving him a highly 
 comic nephew, Slender, who, in his vanity and pitifulness, 
 is like a first sketch for Sir Andrew Aguecheek in Twelfth 
 Night. 
 
 ^ Brandes: William Shakespeare. 
 
 III. 
 
 Delineation of the Play. 
 
 The principal action of this comedy — the adventures of 
 Falstaff with the Merry Wives — sweeps on with a rapid- 
 ity of movement which hurries us forward to the de- 
 nouement as irresistibly as if the actors were under the 
 influence of that destiny which belongs to the empire of 
 tragedy. No reverses, no disgraces, can save Falstaff 
 from his final humiliation. The net is around him, but 
 he does not see the meshes ; he fancies himself the de- 
 ceiver, but he is the deceived. He will stare Ford " out of 
 his wits," he will " awe him with his cudgel," yet he 
 lives " to be carried in a basket like a barrow of butcher's 
 offal, and to be thrown into the Thames." But his con- 
 fidence is undaunted : '' I will be thrown into Etna, as I 
 have been into the Thames, ere I will leave her " ; yet 
 " since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, J 
 knew not what it was to be beaten till lately." Lastly, he 
 will rush upon a third adventure : " This is the third time, 
 I hope good luck lies in odd numbers " ; yet his good 
 luck ends in " I do begin to perceive that I am made an 
 ass." The real jealousy of Ford most skilfully helps on 
 the merry devices of his wife ; and with equal skill does 
 the Poet make him throw away his jealousy, and assist 
 in the last plot against the " unclean knight." The mis- 
 adventures of Falstaff are most agreeably varied. The 
 disguise of the old woman of Brentford puts him alto- 
 gether in a different situation from his suffocation in the 
 buck basket; and the fairy machinery of Heme's Oak car-
 
 Comments MERRY WIVES 
 
 ries the catastrophe out of the region of comedy into that 
 of romance. 
 
 The movement of the principal action is beautifully 
 contrasted with the occasional repose of the other scenes. 
 The Windsor of the time of Elizabeth is presented to us, 
 as the quiet country town, sleeping under the shadow 
 of its neighbour the castle. Amidst its gabled houses, 
 separated by pretty gardens, from which the elm and the 
 chestnut and the lime throw their branches across the 
 unpaved road, we find a goodly company, with little to do 
 but gossip and laugh, and make sport out of each other's 
 cholers and weaknesses. We see Master Page training 
 his '' fallow greyhound " ; and we go with Master Ford 
 " a-birding." We listen to the '' pribbles and prabbles " 
 of Sir Hugh Evans and Justice Shallow, with a quiet 
 satisfaction ; for they talk as unartificial men ordinarily 
 talk, without much wisdom, but with good temper and 
 sincerity. We find ourselves in the days of ancient hos- 
 pitality, when men could make their fellows welcome 
 without ostentatious display, and half a dozen neighbours 
 '' could drink down all unkindness " over " a hot venison 
 pasty." The more busy inhabitants of the town have time 
 to tattle, and to laugh, and be laughed at. Mine Host of 
 the Garter is the prince of hosts; he is the very soul of fun 
 and good temper ; he is not solicitous whether Falstaff sit 
 " at ten pounds a week " or at two ; he readily takes '' the 
 withered serving man for a fresh tapster " ; his confidence 
 in his own cleverness is delicious — " am I politic, am I 
 subtle, am I a Machiavel ? " — the Germans " shall have 
 my horses, but I '11 make them pay, I '11 sauce them." 
 When he loses his horses, and his " mind is heavy," we 
 rejoice that Fenton will give him " a hundred pound in 
 gold " more than his loss. His contrivances to manage 
 the fray between the furious French doctor and the honest 
 Welsh parson are productive of the happiest situations. 
 Knight : Pictorial Shakspere. 
 
 10
 
 OF WINDSOR Commenis 
 
 IV. 
 
 Falstaff Out of His Sphere. 
 
 The truth is, Falstaff is plainly out of his sphere ; and 
 he shows a sad want of his usual sagacity and good 
 sense in getting into it — in supposing for a moment that 
 he could inspire such a passion in such a place : nor does 
 it seem probable that the Poet would have exhibited him 
 thus, but that he were moved thereto by somewhat else 
 than the native promptings of his genius. For of love in 
 any right or respectable sense Sir John is essentially in- 
 capable ; and to represent him otherwise, had been to 
 contradict, not carry out, his character. Shakespeare 
 doubtless understood this ; and, being thus reduced to the 
 alternative of committing a gross breach of decorum or 
 of making the hero unsuccessful, the moral sanity of his 
 genius left him no choice. Accordingly Sir John is here 
 conspicuous not so much for what he practises as for what 
 is practised upon him ; he being, in fact, the dupe and 
 victim of his own heroism, and provoking laughter more 
 by that he suffers than by that he does. So that the in- 
 ternal evidence of the play strongly favours the tradition 
 of the Queen's requesting to see Falstaff in love ; as such 
 request affords the only clear solution of the Poet's repre- 
 senting one who was plainly a favourite with him in so 
 unsuitable a quality. For, if we may believe Hazlitt, 
 " wits and philosophers seldom shine in that character " ; 
 and, whether this be true or not, it is certain that " Sir 
 John by no means comes off with flying colours." 
 
 But Falstaff, notwithstanding these drawbacks, is still 
 so far himself that " naught but himself can be his con- 
 queror." If he be overmatched, it is not so much by the 
 strength or skill of his antagonists, as from his being 
 persuaded, seemingly against his will and for the pleas- 
 ure of others, into a line of adventure where he is not 
 qualified to thrive. His incomparable art of turning ad- 
 versities into commodities; the good-humoured strategy
 
 Comments MERRY WIVES 
 
 whereby he manages to divert off all unpleasant feeling 
 of his vices and frailties ; the marvellous agiHty and apt- 
 ness of which, w^ith a vesture of odd and whimsical con- 
 structions, at once hides the offensive and discovers the 
 comical features of his conduct ; the same towering impu- 
 dence and sublime effrontery, which so lift him aloft in 
 his subsequent exploits ; and the overpowering eloquence 
 of exaggeration, with which he delights to set off and 
 heighten whatsoever is most ludicrous in his own person 
 or situation ; — all these qualities, though not in their full 
 bloom and vigour, are here to be seen in triumphant exer- 
 cise. 
 
 Upon the whole, however, this bringing forth of Sir 
 John more for exposure than for exhibition is not alto- 
 gether grateful to those whom he has so often convulsed 
 into health : though he still gives us wholesome shakings, 
 we feel that it costs him too much : the rare exhilaration 
 he affords us elsewhere, and even here, invests him with 
 a sort of humorous reverence ; insomuch that we can 
 hardly help pitying while we approve his merited, yet 
 scarcely merited, shames and failures; and we would fain 
 make out some excuse for him on the score of these slips* 
 occurring earlier in his life, when experience had not yet 
 disciplined away the natural vanity which may some- 
 times lead a man of genius to fancy himself the object of 
 the tender passion. And in like manner we are apt to 
 apologize for the Poet's exposure of his and our favour- 
 ite, on the ground that, being to represent him in an en- 
 terprise where he could not deserve success, nor even 
 work for it but by knavery, he was under a strong moral 
 necessity of causing him not only to be thwarted, but to 
 become the laughing-stock of those who thwart him, and, 
 which is especially galling to one so wit-proud as Sir 
 John, " to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of 
 English." And we are the more disposed to leniency to- 
 wards Falstaff amid his unparalleled swampings, foras- 
 much as his merry persecutors are but a sort of decorous, 
 respectable, commonplace people, who borrow their chief 
 
 12
 
 OF WINDSOR Comments 
 
 importance from the victim of their mischievous sport; 
 and if they are not so bad as to make us wish him suc- 
 cess, neither are they so good that we hke to see them 
 grow at his expense. 
 
 Hudson : The M^orks of Shakespeare. 
 
 V. 
 
 Analysis of Falstaffs Character. 
 
 Two features strike us at a glance as being clear and 
 prominent in Falstaff's character ; on the one hand, his 
 great wealth of wit, his inexhaustible store of happy 
 devices, plots and pranks, and the indestructibility of his 
 good humour ; on the other hand, his equally great amount 
 of sensuality, love of pleasure, and excessive carnal lusts. 
 The point de vue of his life, and the centre upon which 
 all his aims and actions turn, is, that his wit, his inventive 
 talents, and his shrewdness shall in all cases furnish him 
 with the means of gratifying his sensual desires, and 
 protect him in case of need. Enjoyments of every de- 
 scription he must have; and it is only a good joke, a 
 successful piece of mischief — to him the greatest of all 
 enjoyments — that he thinks even more attractive than a 
 glass of sack and the charms of Dolly Tear-sheet. Fal- 
 staff is the most consummate epicurean, in the form of a 
 knight of Shakspeare's day but — owing to a halo of in- 
 genious and irresistible wit, and an ideal mental freedom, 
 which humorously disregard all difficulties, and even the 
 whole seriousness of life — an epicurean who appears to a 
 certain extent spiritualised, sublimated into a sort of 
 poetical ideal, which raises him far above the usual run 
 of common rakes, and prevents moral indignation from 
 casting its judgement upon him. Falstaff does not pos- 
 sess any great passions, because to gratify them would 
 cost him too much trouble, and afford an indeed great, 
 
 13 .
 
 Comments MERRY WIVES 
 
 but after all only a passing enjoyment. He has also 
 nothing in common with actual wickedness and gross 
 crimes and vices, because the former undermine their own 
 enjoyment, and also because they are inseparably con- 
 nected with hate; moreover, great crimes are accom- 
 plished only with trouble and exertion, and are always 
 followed by a dread of punishment ; gross vices, lastly, 
 necessarily blunt and deaden the sense of enjoyment. 
 Neither is he at all jealous or envious — for envy is its 
 own tormentor — he is more inclined to be glad to see 
 others enjoying themselves, and even helps his boon com- 
 panions in attaining their desires, as long as these do not 
 cause himself any inconvenience or annoyance. But as 
 regards the lesser sins, such as bragging, lying and de- 
 ceiving, he is not over-particular, and has even no great 
 objections to a little thieving, wdien it can be done easily, 
 and especially when connected with some good joke. He 
 trusts to his wit to save him from any unpleasant conse- 
 quences of such bagatelles ; such things he considers nat- 
 ural and unavoidable because he cannot find any enjoy- 
 ment or procure the means of any enjoyment without 
 them. If this were possible he would rather not be guilty 
 of a single transgression, except as a joke, and even 
 , though not altogether good and virtuous, still he would 
 like — without a struggle, however — to be upright and 
 honest. It is true he likes virtue even less than vice, be- 
 cause it demands a greater amount of energy, and, worst 
 of all, self-denial and self-control. He does not believe in 
 virtue ; he thinks it a delusive piece of sophistry, a mere 
 illusion to suppose that any one should give up enjoyment 
 and pleasure against the instincts of nature, in order to 
 obtain so-called true happiness. To him, therefore, vir- 
 tue, like honour, is a mere ' word,' a thing that no one 
 possesses, that has ' no skill in surgery,' but at most is 
 an honour to the dead who are insensible to it ; hence a 
 mere ' scutcheon,' so ' he '11 none of it.' And yet, at the 
 same time, he knows very well that he must appear to 
 possess , certain virtues such as bravery, honesty, and 
 
 14
 
 OF WINDSOR Comments 
 
 above all things honour and authority; for without the 
 appearance of these he would find it impossible to live. 
 Ulrici : Shaksp care's Dramatic Art, 
 
 VI. 
 Mistress Ford and Mistress Page. 
 
 A certain tendency to tameness in the husbands is cor- 
 rected by the briskness of the merry wives, who engross a 
 large proportion of what cleverness falls in distribution. 
 Still it is remarkable in a play where the distinctions of 
 character are so sharply marked, that there is little hint of 
 any subjective difference between the pair; and this draw- 
 back on their originality, keeps them in harmony with 
 their sober environments. We can scarcely think of them 
 otherwise than as dressed exactly alike, and Falstaff had 
 some excuse for thinking that a love-letter that would 
 suit one scarcely required variation for the other. 
 
 The Windsor wives are merry, and at times free spoken 
 enough, but this is only when they " laugh alone," for the 
 audience counts for nothing, and that some liberality in 
 phrase is no impeachment of their honesty is the very 
 point that protects them from the dulness of demure pro- 
 priety, which would so easily lose them the sympathy of a 
 theatrical audience, which has little tolerance for the most 
 respectable virtue when it ignores the humanity of liveli- 
 ness and animal spirits. And this is the very moral that 
 the sober-sided Ford, who could so little understand his 
 wife's love of her lively neighbour's company, or the 
 feminine necessity for change of scene and lively diver- 
 sion, has to learn for his own advantage, and the advan- 
 tage and amusement of lookers on. 
 
 Lloyd : Critical Essays on the Plays of Shakespeare. 
 
 15
 
 Comments MERRY WIVES 
 
 VII. 
 
 Ford and Page. 
 
 That jealous-pate, Ford, ought to have been sure of his 
 wife's integrity and goodness, from her being so trans- 
 parent-charactered and cheerful ; for your insincere and 
 double-dealing people are sure to betray, some time or 
 other, the drag that dishonesty claps upon the wheel of 
 their conduct. The career of a deceitful person is never 
 uniform. In the sequel, however, Ford does make a 
 handsome atonement — that of a frank apology to the 
 party whom he had abused by his suspicions ; and he 
 winds up the play with the rest, not the least happy of the 
 group from having an enfranchised heart. He says well : 
 
 " Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt. 
 I rather will suspect the sun with cold 
 Than thee with wantonness. Now doth thy honour stand, 
 In him that was of late a heretic, 
 As firm as faith." .... 
 
 Then, there is Page, the very personification of hearty 
 English hospitality. You feel the tight grasp of his hand, 
 and see the honest sparkle of his eye, as he leads in the 
 wranglers with, " Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink 
 down all unkindness.-" If I were required to point to the 
 portrait of a genuine, indigenous Englishman, through- 
 out the whole of the works of Shakespeare, Page would 
 be the man. Every thought of his heart, every motion of 
 his body, appears to be the result of pure instinct ; he has 
 nothing exotic or artificial about him. He possesses 
 strong yeoman sense, an unmistakable speech, a trusting 
 nature, and a fearless deportment; and these are the 
 characteristics of a true Englishman. He is to be gulled 
 — no man more so ; and he is gulled every day in the 
 year — no proof, you will say, of his " strong yeoman 
 sense " ; but an Englishman is quite as frequently gulled 
 
 i6
 
 OF WINDSOR Comments 
 
 with his eyes open as when they are hoodwinked. He 
 has a conceit in being indifferent to chicanery. He con- 
 fides in his own strength when it behooves him to exert 
 it; and then he abates the nuisance. 
 Charles Cowden Clarke: Shakespeare Characters. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Slender. 
 
 After Falstaff there is not a greater piece of work in 
 the play than Master Abraham Slender, cousin to Robert 
 Shallow Esquire, — a dainty sprout, or rather sapling, of 
 provincial gentry, who, once seen, is never to be forgot- 
 ten. In his consequential verdancy, his aristocratic 
 official boobyism, and his lean-witted, lack-brain original- 
 ity, this pithless hereditary squireling is altogether inimi- 
 table, whose manners and character must needs be all 
 from within, because he lacks force of nature enough to 
 shape or dress himself by any model. Mr. Hallam, whose 
 judgement in such things is not often at fault, thinks 
 Slender was intended as " a satire on the brilliant youth 
 of the provinces," such as they were *' before the intro- 
 duction of newspapers and turnpike roads ; awkward and 
 boobyish among civil people, but at home in rude sports, 
 and proud of exploits at which the town would laugh, 
 yet perhaps with more courage and good-nature than the 
 laughers." 
 
 Hudson : The Works of Shakespeare. 
 
 IX. 
 Mistress QuicKly. 
 
 Although a " subordinate character," how very impor- 
 tant a person in this play is Mistress Quickly, the house- 
 keeper to Doctor Caius ; or, as Sir Hugh designates her, 
 
 17
 
 Comments MERRY WIVES 
 
 " his nurse, or his dry-nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, 
 his washer, or his wringer ! " What a perfect specimen 
 she is of a fussy, busy-bodying old woman ! " That fool- 
 ish carrion, Mrs. Quickly," as Mrs. Page calls her; ma- 
 king herself necessary to all, by reason of her fussiness; 
 and conspicuous, by reason of her folly. A large family 
 — the race of the Quicklies ! Our Airs. Quickly, the type 
 of the whole breed, meddles and " trepots " in every one's 
 affairs : with the seriousness and sincere dealing of a 
 diplomatist, she acts the go-between for Falstaff with the 
 two merry wives ; she courts Anne Page for her master, 
 undertaking the same office for Slender. She favours the 
 suit of Fenton ; and if the Welsh parson had turned an 
 eye of favour upon the yeoman's pretty daughter, she 
 would have played the hymeneal Hebe to him too. Her 
 whole character for mere busy-bodying, and not from 
 any active kindness of heart — for they who are sweet to 
 all alike have no principle worth a button — her whole 
 character is comprised in that one little speech in the 
 4th scene of the 3d act, when Fenton gives her the ring 
 for his " sweet Nan." After he has gone out, she says : 
 
 "Now heaven send thee good fortune! [She would have ut- 
 tered the same benediction for Slender.] A kind heart he hath ; a 
 woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. 
 But yet, I would my master had Mistress Anne ; or I would 
 Master Slender had her ; or, in sooth, I would Master Fenton 
 had her. I will do what I can for them all three: for so I have 
 promised, and I will be as good as my word ; but speciously for 
 Master Fenton." 
 
 He was the last applicant to, and had paid her. 
 Charles Cowden Clarke: Shakespeare Characters, 
 
 X. 
 
 "Sweet Anne Page." 
 
 Anne Page is but an average specimen of discreet, 
 placid, innocent mediocrity, yet with a mind of her own, 
 
 18
 
 OF WINDSOR Comments 
 
 in whom we can feel no such interest as a rich father 
 causes to be felt by those about her. In her and Fenton 
 a slight dash of romance is given to the play ; their love 
 forming a barely audible undertone of poetry in the grand 
 chorus of comicalities, as if on purpose that while the 
 sides are shaken the heart may not be left altogether un- 
 touched. 
 
 Hudson : The Works of Shakespeare. 
 
 We do not wish Anne Page to have been married to 
 Slender, but in their poetical alliance they are inseparable. 
 With regard to the under-plot of Fenton and 
 Anne Page — the scheme of Page to marry her to Slender 
 — the counter-plot of her mother, '' firm for Doctor 
 Caius " — and the management of the lovers to obtain a 
 triumph out of the devices against them — it may be 
 sufficient to point out how skilfully it is interwoven with 
 the Heme's Oak adventure of Falstaff. Though Slender 
 " went to her in white, and cried mum, and she cried 
 budget, . . . yet it was not Anne, but a postmas- 
 ter's boy"; though Caius did "take her in green," he 
 " ha' married un gargon, a boy, un paisan "; but Anne and 
 Fenton — 
 
 " long since contracted, 
 Are now so sure, that nothing can dissolve them." 
 
 Knight: Pictorial Shakspere. 
 
 19
 
 THE 
 
 Merry Wives of Windsor.
 
 DRAMATIS PERSONAE. 
 
 Sir John Falstaff. 
 
 Fenton^ a gentleman. 
 
 Shallow, a country justice. 
 
 Slender, cousin to Shallow. 
 
 Ford, ~) 
 
 p >• two gentlemen dwelling at Windsor. 
 
 William Page, a boy, son to Page. 
 
 Sir Hugh Evans, a Welsh parson. 
 
 Doctor Caius, a French physician. 
 
 Host of the Garter Inn. 
 
 Bardolph, \ 
 
 Pistol, v sharpers attending on Falstaff. 
 
 Nym, ) 
 
 Robin, page to Falstaff. 
 
 Simple, servant to Slender. 
 
 Rugby, servant to Doctor Caius. 
 
 Mistress Ford. 
 
 Mistress Page. 
 
 Anne Page, her daughter. 
 
 Mistress Quickly, servant to Doctor Caius. 
 
 Servants to Page, Ford, etc. 
 
 Scene: W^indsor and the neighbourhood. 
 
 22
 
 THE 
 
 Merry Wives of Windsor. 
 
 ACT FIRST. 
 
 Scene I. 
 
 Windsor. Before Pages House. 
 Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, and Sir Hugh Evans. 
 
 Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a 
 Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty 
 Sir John Falstaf^s, he shall not abuse Robert 
 Shallow, esquire. 
 
 Slen. In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace 
 and ' Coram.' 
 
 Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and ' Custalorum.' 
 
 Slen. Ay, and ' Rato-lorum ' too ; and a gentleman 
 born, master parson; who writes himself * Ar- 
 migero,' in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obli- lo 
 gation, ' Armigero.' 
 
 Shal. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these 
 three hundred years. 
 
 Slen. All his successors gone before him hath 
 done't; and all his ancestors that come after 
 him may: they may give the dozen white luces 
 in their coat. 
 
 Shal. It is an old coat. 
 
 Evans. The dozen white louses do become an old 
 
 23
 
 Act 1. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a famil- 20 
 iar beast to man, and signifies love. 
 
 Shal^The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an 
 old coat. 
 
 Slen. I may quarter, coz. 
 
 Shal. You may, by marrying. 
 
 Evans. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. 
 
 Shal. Not a whit. 
 
 Evans. Yes, py 'r lady ; if he has a quarter of your 
 coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my 
 simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir 30 
 John Falstafif have committed disparagements 
 unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad 
 to do my benevolence to make atonements and 
 compremises between you. 
 
 Shal. The council shall hear it; it is a riot. 
 
 Evans. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there 
 is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look 
 you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and 
 not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. 
 
 Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the 40 
 sword should end it. 
 
 Evans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and 
 end it: and there is also another device in my 
 prain, which peradventure prings goot discre- 
 tions with it: — there is Anne Page, which is 
 daughter to Master George Page, which is 
 pretty virginity. 
 
 Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, 
 and speaks small like a woman. 
 
 Evans. It is that fery person for all the orld, as just 50 
 as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds 
 
 24
 
 OF WINDSOR Act I. Sc. i. 
 
 of moneys, and gold and silver, Is her grandsire 
 upon his death's-bed (Got deliver to a joyful 
 resurrections!) give, when she is able to over- 
 take seventeen years old: it were a goot motion 
 if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and de- 
 sire a marriage between Master Abraham and 
 Mistress Anne Page. 
 
 Slen, Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred 
 
 pound? 60 
 
 Evans. Ay, and her father is make her a petter 
 penny. 
 
 Slen. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good 
 gifts. 
 
 Evans. Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is 
 goot gifts, 
 
 Shal. Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Fal- 
 staff there? 
 
 Evans. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar 
 
 as I do despise one that is false, or as I despise 70 
 one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is 
 there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your 
 well-willers. I will peat the door for Master 
 Page. [Knocks] What, hoa! Got pless your 
 house here! 
 
 Page, [Within'] Who 's there? 
 
 Enter Page. 
 
 Evans. Here Is Got's plessing, and your friend, and 
 Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slen- 
 der, that peradventures shall tell you another 
 tale, if matters grow to your likings. 
 
 Page. I am glad to see your worships well. I thank 80 
 you for my venison, Master Shallow. 
 
 25
 
 Act I. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much 
 good do it your good heart! I wished your 
 venison better; it was ill killed. How doth 
 good Mistress Page? — and I thank you always 
 with my heart, la ! with my heart. 
 
 Page. Sir, I thank you. 
 
 Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. 
 
 Page. I am glad to see you, good Master Slender. 
 
 Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I 90 
 heard say he was outrun on Cotsall. 
 
 Page. It could not be judged, sir. 
 
 Slen. You '11 not confess, you '11 not confess. 
 
 Shal. That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your 
 fault; 'tis a good dog. 
 
 Page. A cur, sir. 
 
 Shal. Sir, he 's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there 
 be more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John 
 Falstaff here? 
 
 Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a 100 
 good office between you. 
 
 Evans. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. 
 
 Shal. He hath wronged me. Master Page. 
 
 Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. 
 
 Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not 
 that so. Master Page? He hath wronged me; 
 indeed he hath; at a word, he hath, believe me: 
 Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged. 
 
 Page. Here comes Sir John. 
 
 Enter Sir John Fahtaff, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. 
 
 Fal. Now, Master Shallow, you '11 complain of me to IIO 
 the king? 
 
 26
 
 OF WINDSOR Act I. Sc. i. 
 
 Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my 
 deer, and broke open my lodge. 
 
 Fal. But not kissed your keeper's daughter? 
 
 Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answered. 
 
 Fal. I will answer it straight; I have done all this. 
 That is now answered. 
 
 Shal. The council shall know this. 
 
 Fal. 'Twere better for you if it were known in 
 
 counsel: you'll be laughed at. 120 
 
 Evans. Pauca verba. Sir John; goot worts. 
 
 Fal. Good worts ! good cabbage. Slender, I broke 
 your head: what matter have you against me? 
 
 Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against 
 you; and against your cony-catching rascals, 
 Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. 
 
 Bard. You Banbury cheese! 
 
 Slcn. Ay, it is no matter. 
 
 Pist. How now, Mephostophilus! 
 
 Slcn. Ay, it is no matter. 130 
 
 Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my 
 humour. 
 
 Slen. Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, 
 cousin? 
 
 Evans. Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. 
 There is three umpires in this matter, as I un- 
 derstand; that is. Master Page, fideUcet Master 
 Page; and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and 
 the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host 
 of the Garter. 
 
 Page. We three, to hear it and end it between them. 140 
 
 Evans. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my 
 note-book; and we will afterwards ork upon 
 the cause with as great discreetly as we can. 
 27
 
 Act I. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Fal Pistol! 
 
 Pist. He hears with ears. 
 
 Evans. The tevil and his tarn! what phrase is this, 
 'He hears with ear'? why, it is affectations. 
 
 Fal. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse? 
 
 Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might 
 
 never come in mine own great chamber again 150 
 else, of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two 
 Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shil- 
 ling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by 
 these gloves. 
 
 Fal. Is this true, Pistol? 
 
 Evans. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. 
 
 Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and 
 master mine, 
 I combat challenge of this latten bilbo. 
 Word of denial in thy labras here! 160 
 
 Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest! 
 
 Slen. By these gloves, then, 'twas he. 
 
 Nym. Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I 
 will say * marry trap ' with you, if you run the 
 nuthook's humour on me; that is the very note 
 of it. 
 
 Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; 
 for though I cannot remember what I did when 
 you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an 
 ass. 170 
 
 Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John? 
 
 Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman 
 had drunk himself out of his five sentences. 
 
 Evans. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance 
 is! 
 
 28
 
 OF WINDSOR Act I. Sc. i. 
 
 Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cash- 
 iered; and so conclusions passed the careires. 
 
 Sleti. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no 
 matter: I '11 ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, 
 but in honest, civil, godly company, for this i8o 
 trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those 
 that have the fear of God, and not with drunken 
 knaves. 
 
 Evans. So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind. 
 
 Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; 
 you hear it. 
 
 Enter Anne Page, with wine; Mistress Ford and Mistress 
 Page, following. 
 
 Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in ; we '11 drink 
 
 within. [Exit Anne Page. 
 
 Slen. O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page. 
 
 Page. How now. Mistress Ford ! 190 
 
 Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well 
 
 met: by your leave, good mistress. [Kisses her. 
 
 Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, 
 we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: come, 
 gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all un- 
 kindness. [Exeunt all except ShaL, Slen., and Evans. 
 
 Slen. I had rather than forty shillings I had my 
 Book of Songs and Sonnets here. 
 
 Enter Simple. 
 
 How now. Simple! where have you been? I 
 must wait on myself, must I? You have not the 200 
 Book of Riddles about you, have you? 
 Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to 
 
 29
 
 Act I. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Alice Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a 
 
 fortnight afore Michaelmas? 
 Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A 
 
 word with you, coz ; marry, this, coz : there is, 
 
 as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar 
 
 ofif by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand 
 
 me? 
 Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be 210 
 
 so, I shall do that that is reason. 
 Shal. Nay, but understand me. 
 Slen, So I do, sir. 
 Evans. Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I 
 
 will description the matter to you, if you be 
 
 capacity of it. 
 Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I 
 
 pray you, pardon me; he 's a justice of peace in 
 
 his country, simple though I stand here. 
 Evans. But that is not the question: the question is 220 
 
 concerning your marriage. 
 Shal. Ay, there 's the point, sir. 
 Evans. Marry, is it ; the very point of it ; to Mistress 
 
 Anne Page. 
 Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any 
 
 reasonable demands. 
 Evans. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us 
 
 command to know that of your mouth or of 
 
 your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the 
 
 lips is parcel of the mouth. Therefore, pre- 230 
 
 cisely, can you carry your good will to the 
 
 maid? 
 Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? 
 Slen. I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that 
 
 would do reason. 
 
 30
 
 OF WINDSOR Act I. Sc. i. 
 
 Evans. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must 
 speak possitable, if you can carry her your de- 
 sires towards her. 
 
 Shal. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, 
 marry her? 
 
 Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your 240 
 request, cousin, in any reason. 
 
 Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: 
 what I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you 
 love the maid? 
 
 Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if 
 there be no great love in the beginning, yet 
 heaven may decrease it upon better acquaint- 
 ance, when we are married and have more oc- 
 casion to know one another; I hope, upon 
 familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you 250 
 say 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that I am 
 freely dissolved, and dissolutely. 
 
 Evans. It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is 
 in the ort ' dissolutely ' : the ort is, according 
 to our meaning, ' resolutely ' : his meaning is 
 good. 
 
 Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. 
 
 Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la! 
 
 Shal. Here comes fair Mistress Anne. 
 
 Re-enter Anne Page. 
 
 Would I were young for your sake, Mistress 260 
 
 Anne! 
 Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires 
 
 your worships' company. 
 Shal. I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. 
 
 31
 
 Act I. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Evans. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at 
 
 the grace. [Exeunt Shallow and Evans. 
 
 Anne. Will 't please your worship to come in, sir? 
 
 Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very 
 well. 
 
 Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. 270 
 
 Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. 
 Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait 
 upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit Simple.~\ A 
 justice of peace sometime may be beholding to 
 his friend for a man. I keep but three men and 
 a boy yet, till my mother be dead: but what 
 though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born. 
 
 Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they 
 will not sit till you come. 
 
 Slen. V faith, I '11 eat nothing; I thank you as much 280 
 as though I did. 
 
 Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. 
 
 Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised 
 my shin th' other day with playing at sword and 
 dagger with a master of fence: three veneys for 
 a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I 
 cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why 
 do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the 
 town? 
 
 Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of. 290 
 
 Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon 
 quarrel at it as any man in England. You are 
 afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? 
 
 Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. 
 
 Slen. That 's meat and drink to me, now. I have 
 seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have 
 
 32
 
 OF WINDSOR Act I. Sc. ii. 
 
 taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the 
 women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it 
 passed: but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; 
 they are very ill-favoured rough things. 300 
 
 Re-enter Page. 
 
 Page. Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay 
 
 for you. 
 Slen. I '11 eat nothing, I thank you, sir. 
 Page. By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! 
 
 come, come. 
 Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. 
 Page. Come on, sir. 
 
 Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. 
 Anne. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. 
 Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la! I will not 31c 
 
 do you that wrong. 
 Anne. I pray you, sir. 
 Slen. I '11 rather be unmannerly than troublesome. 
 
 You do yourself wrong, indeed, la! [Exeunt. 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 The same. 
 Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple. 
 
 Evans, Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' 
 house which is the way: and there dwells one 
 Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his 
 
 * nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laun- 
 dry, his washer, and his wringer. 
 
 Sim. Well, sir. 
 
 Evans. Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; 
 
 Z3
 
 Act I. Sc. iii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 for it Is a 'oman that altogether 's acquaint- 
 ance with Mistress Anne Page: and the letter 
 is, to desire and require her to soHcit your mas- lo 
 ter's desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray 
 you, be gone: I will make an end of my dinner; 
 there 's pippins and cheese to come. [Exeunt. 
 
 Scene III. 
 
 A room in the Garter Inn. 
 
 Enter Falstaif, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and Robin. 
 
 Fal. Mine host of the Garter! 
 
 Host. What says my bully-rook? speak scholarly 
 
 and wisely. 
 Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my 
 
 followers. 
 Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them 
 
 wag; trot, trot. 
 Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. 
 Host. Thou 'rt an emperor, Csesar, Keisar, and 
 
 Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall lo 
 
 draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector? 
 Fal. Do so, good mine host. 
 Host. I have spoke; let him follow. [To Bard.'] 
 
 Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; 
 
 follow. [Exit. 
 
 Fal. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good 
 
 trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a 
 
 withered serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; 
 
 adieu. 
 Bard. It is a life that I have desired: I will thrive. 20 
 
 34
 
 OF WINDSOR . Act I. Sc. iii. 
 
 Pist. O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot 
 
 wield? [Exit Bardolph. 
 
 Nym. He was gotten in drink: is not the humour 
 conceited? 
 
 Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box: 
 his thefts were too open; his filching was like 
 an unskilful singer; he kept not time. 
 
 Nym. The good humour is to steal at a minute's 
 rest. 
 
 Pist. 'Convey,' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! a 30 
 fico for the phrase! 
 
 Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. 
 
 Pist. Why, then, let kibes ensue. 
 
 Fal. There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I 
 must shift. 
 
 Pist. Young ravens must have food. 
 
 Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? 
 
 Pist. I ken the wight : he is of substance good. 
 
 Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am 
 
 about. 40 
 
 Pist. Two yards, and more. 
 
 Fal. No quips now. Pistol! Indeed, I am in the 
 waist two yards about; but I am now about no 
 waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean 
 to make love to Ford's wife: I spy entertain- 
 ment in her; she discourses, she carves, she 
 gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the 
 action of her famiUar style; and the hardest 
 voice of her behaviour, to be EngHshed rightly, 
 is, ' I am Sir John Falstaff's.' 50 
 
 Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her 
 will, out of honesty into English. 
 
 35
 
 Act I. Sc. iii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? 
 Fal. Now, the report goes she has all the rule of 
 
 her husband's purse: he hath a legion of 
 
 angels. 
 Pist. As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy/ 
 
 say I. 
 Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me 60 
 
 the angels. 
 
 Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here 
 another to Page's wife, who even now gave me 
 good eyes too, examined my parts with most 
 judicious ceillades; sometimes the beam of her 
 view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. 
 
 Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. 
 
 Nym, I thank thee for that humour. 
 
 Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with 
 
 such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her 70 
 eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning- 
 glass! Here 's another letter to her: she bears 
 the purse too ; she is a region in Guiana, all 
 gold and bounty. I will be cheaters to them 
 both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they 
 shall be my East and West Indies, and I will 
 trade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to 
 Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford: 
 we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. 
 
 Pist, Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, 80 
 
 And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take 
 all! 
 
 Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the 
 humour-letter: I will keep the haviour of re- 
 putation. 
 
 36
 
 OF WINDSOR Act I. Sc. iii. 
 
 FaL [To Robin'] Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters 
 tightly; 
 Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. 
 Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go; 
 Trudge, plod away o' the hoof ; seek shelter, pack ! 
 Falstaff will learn the humour of the age, 89 
 
 French thrift, you rogues; myself and skirted 
 page. 
 
 {Exeunt Falstaff and Robin. 
 Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam 
 holds, 
 And high and low beguiles the rich and poor: 
 Tester I '11 have in pouch when thou shalt lack, 
 Base Phrygian Turk! 
 Nym. I have operations which be humours of revenge. 
 Pist. Wilt thou revenge? 
 Nym. By welkin and her star! 
 
 Pist. With wit or steel? lOO 
 
 Nym. With both the humours, I : 
 
 I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. 
 Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold 
 How Falstaff, varlet vile, 
 His dove will prove, his gold will hold, 
 And his soft couch defile. 
 Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense 
 Page to deal with poison; I will possess him 
 with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dan- 
 gerous: that is my true humour. no 
 Pist. Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second 
 
 thee; troop on. [Exeunt, 
 
 37
 
 Act I. Sc. iv. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Scene IV. 
 
 A room in Doctor Cains' s house. 
 Enter Mistress Quickly, Simple, and Rugby. 
 
 Quick. What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the 
 casement, and see if you can see my master, 
 Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, 
 and find anybody in the house, here will be an 
 old abusing of God's patience and the king's 
 English. 
 
 Rug. I '11 go watch. 
 
 Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for 't soon at 
 night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal 
 lire. [Exit Rugby.^ An honest, willing, kind lo 
 fellow, as ever servant shall come in house 
 withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no 
 breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is given 
 to prayer; he is something peevish that way: 
 but nobody but has his fault ; but let that pass. 
 Peter Simple, you say your name is? 
 
 Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. 
 
 Quick. And Master Slender 's your master? 
 
 Sim. Ay, forsooth. 
 
 Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a 20 
 glover's paring-knife? 
 
 Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, 
 with a little yellow beard, — a Cain-coloured 
 beard. 
 
 Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? 
 
 Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his 
 hands as any is between this and his head; he 
 hath fought with a warrener. 
 
 38
 
 OF WINDSOR Act I. Sc. iv. 
 
 Quick. How say you? — O, I should remember him: 
 
 does he not hold up his head, as it were, and 30 
 strut in his gait? 
 
 Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. 
 
 Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse for- 
 tune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do 
 what I can for your master: Anne is a good 
 girl, and I wish — 
 
 Re-enter Rugby. 
 
 Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. 
 
 Quick. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good 
 young man; go into this closet: he will not 
 stay long. [Shuts Simple in the closet.] What, 40 
 John Rugby! John! what, John, I say! Go, 
 John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be 
 not well, that he comes not home. 
 
 [Sijiging] And down, down, adown-a, etc. 
 
 Enter Doctor Cains. 
 
 Cains. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. 
 
 Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un 
 
 boitier vert, — a box, a green-a box: do intend 
 
 vat I speak? a green-a box. 
 Quick. Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you. [Aside] 
 
 I am glad he went not in himself: if he had 50 
 
 found the young man, he would have been 
 
 horn-mad. 
 Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je 
 
 m'en vais a la cour, — la grande affaire. 
 Quick. Is it this, sir? 
 Caius. Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche, 
 
 quickly. Vere is dat knave Rugby? 
 
 39
 
 Act I. Sc. iv. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Quick, What, John Rugby ! John ! 
 
 Rug. Here, sir ! 
 
 Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack 60 
 Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come 
 after my heel to the court. 
 
 Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. 
 
 Cains. By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me! 
 Qu'ai-j'oublie! dere is some simples in my 
 closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave 
 behind. 
 
 Quick. Ay me, he '11 find the young man there, and 
 be mad! 
 
 Cains. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Vil- 
 lain! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, 70 
 my rapier! 
 
 Quick. Good master, be content. 
 
 Caius. Wherefore shall I be content-a? 
 
 Quick. The young man is an honest man. 
 
 Cains. What shall de honest man do in my closet? 
 dere is no honest man dat shall come in my 
 closet. 
 
 Quick. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear 
 the truth of it: he came of an errand to me 
 from Parson Hugh. 80 
 
 Caius. Veil. 
 
 Sim. Ay, forsooth; to desire her to — 
 
 Quick. Peace, I pray you. 
 
 Caius. Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale. 
 
 Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, 
 to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page 
 for my master in the way of marriage. 
 
 Quick. This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my 
 finger in the fire, and need not. 
 40
 
 OF WINDSOR Act I. Sc. iv. 
 
 Cains. Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, bailie me 90 
 some paper. Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes. 
 
 Quick. [Aside to Simple^ I am glad he is so quiet: if 
 he had been thoroughly moved, you should 
 have heard him so loud and so melancholy. 
 But notwithstanding, man, I '11 do you your 
 master what good I can: and the very yea and 
 the no is, the French doctor, my master, — I may 
 call him my master, look you, for I keep his 
 house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, 
 dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all 
 myself, — 100 
 
 Sim. [Aside to Quickly] 'Tis a great charge to come 
 under one body's hand. 
 
 Quick. [Aside to Simple] Are you avised o' that? 
 you shall find it a great charge: and to be up 
 early and down late; — but notwithstanding, — 
 to tell you in your ear; I would have no words 
 of it, — my master himself is in love with Mis- 
 tress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I 
 know Anne's mind, — that 's neither here nor 
 there. 
 
 Caius. You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; no 
 by gar, it is a shallenge : I will cut his troat in 
 de park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape 
 priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; 
 it is not good you tarry here. — By gar, I will 
 cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have 
 a stone to throw at his dog. [Exit Simple. 
 
 Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. 
 
 Caius. It is no matter-a ver dat: — do not you tell-a 
 me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? — 
 By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have 120 
 appointed mine host of de Jarteer to measure 
 
 41
 
 Act I. Sc. iv. MERRY WIVES 
 
 our weapon. — By gar, I will myself have Anne 
 
 Page. 
 Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. 
 
 We must give folks leave to prate: what, the 
 
 good-jer! 
 Cains. Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, 
 
 if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head 
 
 out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby. 
 
 [Exeunt Cains and Rugby. 
 Quick. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. 130 
 
 No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a 
 
 woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind 
 
 than I do ; nor can do more than I do with her, 
 
 I thank heaven. 
 Pent. [Within] Who 's within there? ho! 
 Quick. Who 's there, I trow? Come near the house, 
 
 I pray you. 
 
 Enter Fenton. 
 
 Pent. How now, good woman! how dost thou? 
 
 Quick. The better that it pleases your good worship 
 
 to ask. 140 
 
 Fe7it. What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne? 
 
 Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, 
 and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can 
 tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for 
 it. 
 
 Pent. Shall I do any good, think'st thou? Shall I 
 not lose my suit? 
 
 Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but not- 
 withstanding. Master Fenton, I '11 be sworn on 
 a book, she loves you. Have not your worship 150 
 a wart above your eye? 
 
 43
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. i. 
 
 Fenf. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? 
 
 Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale: — good faith, it 
 is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest 
 maid as ever broke bread: — we had an hour's 
 talk of that wart. — I shall never laugh but in 
 that maid's company! — But, indeed, she is given 
 too much to allicholy and musing : but for you — 
 w^ell, go to. 
 
 Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there 's i6o 
 money for thee; let me have thy voice in my 
 behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend 
 me. 
 
 Quick. Will I? i' faith, that we will; and I will tell 
 your worship more of the wart the next time we 
 have confidence; and of other wooers. 
 
 Fcnt. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. 
 
 Quick. Farewell to your worship. [Exit Fenf on.] 
 Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves 
 him not; for I know Anne's mind as well as an- 170 
 other does. — Out upon't! what have I forgot? 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 ACT SECOND. 
 
 Scene I. 
 
 Before Page's house. 
 
 Enter Mistress Page, zvith a letter. 
 
 Mrs Page. What, have I 'scaped love-letters in the 
 holiday-time of my beauty, and am I now a 
 subject for them? Let me see. [Reads. 
 
 * Ask me no reason why I love you; for 
 though Love use Reason for his physician, he 
 
 43
 
 Act II. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 admits him not for his counsellor. You are not 
 young, no more am I; go to, then, there's 
 sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha, ha! 
 then there's more sympathy: you love sack, 
 and so do I; would you desire better sympathy? lo 
 Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page, — at the least, 
 if the love of soldier can suffice, — that I love 
 thee. I will not say, pity me, — 'tis not a sol- 
 dier-like phrase; but I say, love me. By me, 
 
 Thine own true knight, 
 
 By day or night. 
 
 Or any kind of light, 
 
 With all his might 
 
 For thee to fight. — ^John Falstaff.' 
 What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, 20 
 wicked world! One that is well-nigh worn to 
 pieces with age to show himself a young gal- 
 lant! What an unweighed behaviour hath this 
 Flemish drunkard picked — with the devil's 
 name! — out of my conversation, that he dares 
 in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not 
 been thrice in my company! What should I 
 ^ay to him? I was then frugal of my mirth: 
 Heaven forgive me! Why, I '11 exhibit a bill in 
 the parliament for the putting down of men. 30 
 How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged 
 I will be, as sure as his guts are made of pud- 
 dings. 
 
 Enter Mistress Ford. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Mrs Page! trust me, I was going to 
 
 your house. 
 Mrs Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. 
 
 You look very ill. 
 
 44
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. i, 
 
 Mrs Ford. Nay, I '11 ne'er believe that ; I have to 
 show to the contrary. 
 
 Mrs Page. Faith, but you do, in my mind. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Well, I do, then ; yet, I say, I could show 40 
 you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give 
 me some counsel! 
 
 Mrs Page. What 's the matter, woman ? 
 
 Mrs Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling 
 respect, I could come to such honour! 
 
 Mrs Page. Hang the trifle, woman! take the hon- 
 our. What is it? — dispense with trifles; — what 
 is it? 
 
 Mrs Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal 
 
 moment or so, I could be knighted. 50 
 
 Mrs Page. What? thou Hest! Sir Alice Ford! 
 These knights will hack; and so thou shouldst 
 not alter the article of thy gentry. 
 
 Mrs Ford. We burn daylight: — here, read, read; 
 perceive how I might be knighted. I shall 
 think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an 
 eye to make difference of men's liking: and yet 
 he would not swear; praised woman's modesty; 
 and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof 
 to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his 60 
 disposition would have gone to the truth of his 
 words; but they do no more adhere and keep 
 place together than the Hundredth Psalm to 
 the tune of ' Green Sleeves.' What tempest, I 
 trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of 
 oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall 
 I be revenged on him? I think the best way 
 were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked 
 
 45
 
 Act II. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. 
 Did you ever hear the like? 70 
 
 Mrs Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of 
 Page and Ford differs! To thy great corAfort 
 in this mystery of ill opinions, here 's the twin- 
 brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; 
 for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant he 
 hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank 
 space for different names, — sure, more, — and 
 these are of the second edition: he will print 
 them, out of doubt; for he cares not what he 
 puts into the press, when he would put us two. 80 
 I had rather be a giantess, and lie under Mount 
 Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious 
 turtles ere one chaste man. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Why, this is the very same ; the very 
 hand, the very words. What doth he think of 
 us? 
 
 Mrs Page. Nay, I know not: it makes me almost 
 ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I '11 
 entertain myself like one that I am not ac- 
 quainted withal; for, sure, unless he know 90 
 some strain in me, that I know not myself, he 
 would nevfer have boarded me in this fury. 
 
 Mrs Ford. ' Boarding,' call you it? I '11 be sure to 
 keep him above deck. 
 
 Mrs Page. So will I : if he come under my hatches, 
 I '11 never to sea again. Let 's be revenged on 
 him: let's appoint him a meeting; give him 
 a show of comfort in his suit, and lead him on 
 with a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawned 
 his horses to mine host of the Garter. 100 
 
 46
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IL Sc. i. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villany 
 against him, that may not sully the chariness 
 of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this 
 letter! it would give eternal food to his jeal- 
 ousy. 
 
 Mrs Page. Why, look where he comes ; and my 
 good man too: he's as far from jealousy as I 
 am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, 
 is an unmeasurable distance. 
 
 Mrs Ford. You are the happier woman. i lo 
 
 Mrs Page. Let 's consult together against this 
 
 greasy knight. Come hither. [They retire. 
 
 Enter Ford, with Pistol, and Page; with Nym. 
 
 Ford. Well, I hope it be not so. 
 
 Fist. Hope IS a curtal dog in some affairs: 
 
 Sir John affects thy wife. 
 Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young. 
 Fist. He wooes both high and low, both rich and poor, 
 
 Both young and old, one with another, Ford; 
 
 He loves the galHmaufry: Ford, perpend. 
 Ford. Love my wife! I20 
 
 Fist. With liver burning hot. Prevent, or go thou, 
 
 Like Sir Actseon he, with Ringwood at thy heels; 
 
 O, odious is the name! 
 Ford. What name, sir? 
 Fist. The horn, I say. Farewell. 
 
 Take heed; have open eye; for thieves do foot by 
 night : 
 
 Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds do 
 sing. 
 
 Away, Sir Corporal Nym! — 
 
 Believe it. Page ; he speaks sense. [Exit. 
 
 Ford. [Aside'\ I will be patient ; I will find out this. 130 
 
 47
 
 Act II. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Nym. [To Page] And this is true; I like not the 
 humour of lying. He hath wronged me in some 
 humours: I should have borne the humoured 
 letter to her; but I have a sword, and it shall 
 bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife; 
 there 's the short and the long. My name is 
 Corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch; 'tis 
 true: my name is Nym, and FalstafT loves your 
 wife. Adieu. I love not the humour of bread 140 
 and cheese; and there's the humour of it. 
 Adieu. [Exit, 
 
 Page. ' The humour of it,' quoth 'a! here 's a fellow 
 frights English out of his wits. 
 
 Pord. I will seek out Falstaff. 
 
 Page. I never heard such a drawling, afifecting 
 rogue. 
 
 Pord. If I do find it : — well. 
 
 Page. I will not believe such a Catalan, though the 
 priest o' the town commended him for a true 
 man. 150 
 
 Pord. 'Twas a good sensible fellow; — well. 
 
 Page. How now, Meg! 
 
 [Mrs Page and Mrs Ford come forward. 
 
 Mrs Page. Whither go you, George ? Hark you. 
 
 Mrs Pord. How now, sweet Frank! why art thou 
 melancholy? 
 
 Pord. I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get 
 you home, go. 
 
 Mrs Pord. Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy 
 head. Now, will you go, Mrs Page? 
 
 Mrs Page. Have with you. You '11 come to dinner, 160 
 George? [Aside to Mrs Pord] Look who
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. i. 
 
 comes yonder: she shall be our messenger to 
 this paltry knight. 
 Mrs Ford. [Aside to Mrs Page'\ Trust me, I 
 thought on her: she'll fit it. 
 
 Enter Mistress Quickly. 
 
 Mrs Page. You are come to see my daughter Anne? 
 Quick. Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good 
 
 Mistress Anne? 
 Mrs Page. Go in with us and see : we have an hour's 
 
 talk with you. 170 
 
 [Exeunt Mrs Page, Mrs Ford, and Mrs Quickly. 
 
 Page. How now, Master Ford! 
 
 Ford. You heard what this knave told me, did you 
 not? 
 
 Page. Yes: and you heard what the other told me? 
 
 Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? 
 
 Page. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight 
 would offer it: but these that accuse him in his 
 intent towards our wives are a yoke of his dis- 
 carded men; very rogues, now they be out of 
 service. 180 
 
 Ford. Were they his men? 
 
 Page. Marry, were they. 
 
 Ford. I like it never the better for that. Does he lie 
 at the Garter? 
 
 Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this 
 voyage toward my wife, I would turn her loose 
 to him; and what he gets more of her than 
 sharp words, let it lie on my head. 
 
 Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be 
 
 49
 
 Act II. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 loath to turn them together. A man may be 190 
 too confident: I would have nothing He on my 
 head: I cannot be thus satisfied. 
 Page. Look where my ranting host of the Garter 
 comes: there is either Hquor in his pate, or 
 money in his purse, when he looks so merrily. 
 
 Enter Host. 
 
 How now, mine host! 
 Host. How now, bully-rook! thou 'rt a gentleman. 
 Cavaleiro-justice, I say! 
 
 Enter Shallow. 
 
 Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even and 
 
 twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will 200 
 you go with us? we have sport in hand. 
 
 Host. Tell him, cavaleiro-justice; tell him, bully- 
 rook. 
 
 Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir 
 Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French 
 doctor. 
 
 Ford. Good mine host o' the Garter, a word with 
 
 you. [Drawing him aside. 
 
 Host. What say'st thou, my bully-rook? 
 
 Shal. [To Page] Will you go with us to behold it? 210 
 My merry host hath had the measuring of their 
 weapons; and, I think, hath appointed them 
 contrary places; for, believe me, I hear the 
 parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what 
 our sport shall be. [ They converse apart. 
 
 Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my 
 guest-cavaleire? 
 
 50
 
 or WINDSOR Act II. Sc. i. 
 
 Ford. None, I protest: but I '11 give you a pottle of 
 burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell 
 him my name is Brook; only for a jest. 220 
 
 Host. My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and 
 regress; — said I well? — and thy name shall be 
 Brook. It is a merry night. Will you go, 
 min-heers ? 
 
 Shal. Have with you, mine host. 
 
 Page. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill 
 in his rapier. 
 
 Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these 
 times you stand on distance, your passes, stoc- 
 cadoes, and I know not what; 'tis the heart, 230 
 Master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen 
 the time, with my long sword I would have 
 made you four tall fellows skip like rats. 
 
 Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? 
 
 Page. Have with you. I had rather hear them scold 
 
 than fight. [Exeunt Host, Shal., and Page. 
 
 Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so 
 firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off 
 my opinion so easily: she was in his company 
 at Page's house; and what they made there 240 
 I know not. Well, I will look further into't: 
 and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I 
 find her honest, I lose not my labour; if she be 
 otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed. [Exit. 
 
 51
 
 Act II. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 A room in the Garter Inn. 
 Enter Fahtaif and Pistol. 
 
 Fal. I will not lend thee a penny. 
 
 Pist. Why, then the world 's mine oyster, 
 Which I with sword will open. 
 
 Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you 
 should lay my countenance to pawn: I have 
 grated upon my good friends for three reprieves 
 for you and your coach-fellow Nym; or else 
 you had looked through the grate, like a 
 geminy of baboons. I am damned in hell for 
 swearing to gentlemen my friends, you were lO 
 good soldiers and tall fellows; and when Mis- 
 tress Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took 't 
 upon mine honour thou hadst it not. 
 
 Pist. Didst not thou share? hadst thou not fifteen 
 pence? 
 
 Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason: think'st thou I'll 
 endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no 
 more about me, I am no gibbet for you. Go. 
 A short knife and a throng! — To your manor 
 of Pickt-hatch! Go. You'll not bear a letter 20 
 for me, you rogue! you stand upon your hon- 
 our! Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is 
 as much as I can do to keep the terms of my 
 honour precise: I, I, I myself sometimes, leav- 
 ing the fear of God on the left hand, and hiding 
 mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, 
 to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will 
 
 52
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. ii. 
 
 ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, 
 your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating 
 oaths, under the shelter of your honour! You 30 
 will not do it, you! 
 Pist. I do relent: what would thou more of man? 
 
 Enter Robin. 
 
 Rob. Sir, here 's a woman would speak with you. 
 Fal. Let her approach. 
 
 Enter Mistress Quickly. 
 
 Quick. Give your worship good morrow. 
 
 Fal. Good morrow, good wife. 
 
 Quick. Not so, an 't please your worship. 
 
 Fal. Good maid, then. 
 
 Quick. I'll be sworn; 
 
 As my mother was, the first hour I was born. 40 
 
 Fal. I do believe the swearer. What with me? 
 
 Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two? 
 
 Fal. Two thousand, fair woman: and I'll vouch- 
 safe thee the hearing. 
 
 Quick. There is one Mistress Ford, sir: — I pray, 
 come a little nearer this ways: — I myself dwell 
 with Master Doctor Caius, — 
 
 Fal. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say, — 
 
 Quick. Your worship says very true: — I pray your 
 
 worship, come a little nearer this ways. 50 
 
 Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears; — mine own peo- 
 ple, mine own people. 
 
 Quick. Are they so? God bless them, and make 
 them his servants! 
 
 Fal. Well, Mistress Ford; — what of her? 
 
 53
 
 Act II. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Quick. Why, sir, she 's a good creature. — Lord, 
 Lord! your worship 's a wanton ! Well, heaven 
 forgive you and all of us, I pray! 
 Fal. Mistress Ford; — come. Mistress Ford, — 
 Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it; 60 
 you have brought her into such a canaries as 
 'tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, 
 when the court lay at Windsor, could never 
 have brought her to such a canary. Yet there 
 has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, 
 with their coaches; I warrant you, coach after 
 coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling 
 so sweetly, all musk, and so rushling, I warrant 
 you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant 
 terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best 70 
 and the fairest, that would have won any 
 woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could 
 never get an eye-wink of her: I had myself 
 twenty angels given me this morning ; but I defy 
 all angels — in any such sort, as they say — but in 
 the way of honesty : and, I warrant you, they 
 could never get her so much as sip on a cup with 
 the proudest of them all : and yet there has 
 been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners ; but, 
 I warrant you, all is one with her. 80 
 
 Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good 
 she-Mercury. 
 
 Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter ; for the 
 which she thanks you a thousand times; and 
 she gives you to notify, that her husband will 
 be absence from his house between ten and 
 eleven. 
 
 Fal. Ten and eleven. 
 
 54
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. ii. 
 
 Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and 
 see the picture, she says, that you wot of: 
 Master Ford, her husband, will be from home. 90 
 Alas, the sweet woman leads an ill life with him! 
 he's a very jealousy man : she leads a very fram- 
 pold life with him, good heart. 
 
 Fal. Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; 
 I will not fail her. 
 
 Quick. Why, you say well. But I have another 
 messenger to your worship. Mistress Page 
 hath her hearty commendations to you, too: 
 and let me tell you in your ear, she 's as fartuous 
 a civil modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will 100 
 not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as 
 any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other: and 
 she bade me tell your worship that her husband 
 is seldom from home; but, she hopes, there will 
 come a time. I never knew a woman so dote 
 upon a man: surely, I think you have charms, 
 la; yes, in truth. 
 
 Fal. Not I, I assure thee: setting the attraction of 
 my good parts aside, I have no other charms. 
 
 Quick. Blessing on your heart for't! rio 
 
 Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this : has Ford's wife 
 and Page's wife acquainted each other how they 
 love me? 
 
 Quick. That were a jest indeed! they have not so 
 little grace, I hope: that were a trick indeed! 
 But Mistress Page would desire you to send 
 her your Httle page, of all loves: her husband 
 has a marvellous infection to the little page; 
 and, truly. Master Page is an honest man. 
 
 55
 
 Act II. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than 120 
 she does: do what she will, say what she will, 
 take all, pay all, go to bed when she Hst, rise 
 when she list, all is as she will: and, truly, she 
 deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in 
 Windsor, she is one. You must send her your 
 page ; no remedy. 
 
 Fal Why, I will. 
 
 Quick. Nay, but do so, then: and, look you, he 
 may come and go between you both; and, in 
 any case, have a nay-word, that you may know 
 one another's mind, and the boy never need to 130 
 understand any thing; for 'tis not good that 
 children should know any wickedness: old 
 folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, 
 and know the world. 
 
 Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both: 
 there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, 
 go along with this woman. [Exeunt Mistress 
 Quickly and Robin.] This news distracts me! 
 
 Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers: 
 
 Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your 
 
 fights: 140 
 
 Give fire: she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll 
 make more of thy old body than I have done. 
 Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after 
 the expense of so much money, be now a 
 gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them 
 say 'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no 
 matter. 
 
 Enter Bardolph. 
 
 Bard. Sir John, there 's one Master Brook below 
 
 S6
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. ii. 
 
 would fain speak with you, and be acquainted 
 
 with you; and hath sent your worship a morn- 150 
 
 ing's draught of sack. 
 Fal. Brook is his name? 
 Bard. Ay, sir. 
 Fal. Call him in. [Exit Bardolph.] Such Brooks 
 
 are welcome to me, that o'erflows such liquor. 
 
 Ah, ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress Page have 
 
 I encompassed you? go to; via! 
 
 Re-enter Bardolph with Ford disguised. 
 
 Ford. Bless you, sir! 
 
 Fal. And you, sir! Would you speak with me? 
 
 Ford. I make bold to press with so little prepara- 160 
 tion upon you. 
 
 Fal. You're welcome. What's your will? — Give 
 
 us leave, drawer. [Exit Bardolph. 
 
 Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; 
 my name is Brook. 
 
 Fal. Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaint- 
 ance of you. 
 
 Ford. Good Sir John, I sue for yours : not to charge 
 you; for I must let you understand I think 
 myself in better plight for a lender than you 170 
 are: the which hath something emboldened me 
 to this unseasoned intrusion; for they say, if 
 money go before, all ways do lie open. 
 
 Fal. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. 
 
 Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here 
 troubles me: if you will help to bear it. Sir 
 John, take all, or half, for easing me of the 
 carriage. 
 
 57
 
 Act II. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 FaL. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your 
 porter. 
 
 Ford. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the 
 
 hearing. i8o 
 
 Fal. Speak, good Master Brook: I shall be glad to 
 be your servant. 
 
 Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar, — I will be brief 
 with you, — and you have been a man long 
 known to me, though I had never so good 
 means, as desire, to make myself acquainted 
 with you. I shall discover a thing to you, 
 wherein I must very much lay open mine own 
 imperfection: but, good Sir John, as you have 
 one eye upon my follies, as you hear them un- 
 folded, turn another into the register of your 190 
 own; that I may pass with a reproof the easier, 
 sith you yourself know how easy it is to be such 
 an offender. 
 
 Fal. Very well, sir; proceed. 
 
 Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town; her 
 husband's name is Ford. 
 
 Fal Well, sir. 
 
 Ford. I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, 
 bestowed much on her; followed her with a 
 doting observance; engrossed opportunities to 200 
 meet her; fee'd every slight occasion that could 
 but niggardly give me sight of her; not only 
 bought many presents to give her, but have 
 given largely to many to know what she would 
 have given; briefly, I have pursued her as love 
 hath pursued me; which hath been on the wing 
 of all occasions. But whatsoever I have 
 merited, either in my mind or in my means, 
 meed, I am sure, I have received none; unless 
 
 58
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. ii. 
 
 experience be a jewel that I have purchased at an 210 
 infinite rate, and that hath taught me to say this : 
 * Love like a shadow flies when substance love pur- 
 sues; 
 Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.' 
 
 Fal. Have you received no promise of satisfaction 
 at her hands? 
 
 Ford. Never. 
 
 Fal Have you importuned her to such a purpose? 
 
 Ford. Never. 
 
 Fal. Of what quality was your love, then? 
 
 Ford. Like a fair house built on another man's 220 
 ground; so that I have lost my edifice by mis- 
 taking the place where I erected it. 
 
 Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to 
 me? 
 
 Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you 
 all. Some say, that though she appear honest 
 to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her 
 mirth so far that there is shrewd construction 
 made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart 
 of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excel- 
 lent breeding, admirable discourse, of great ad- 230 
 mittance, authentic in your place and person, 
 generally allowed for your many war-like, 
 court-like, and learned preparations. 
 
 Fal. O, sir! 
 
 Ford. Believe it, for you know it. There is money; 
 spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I 
 have; only give me so much of your time in 
 exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to- the 
 honesty of this Ford's wife: use your art of 
 wooing; win her to consent to you: if any 240 
 man may, you may as soon as any. 
 
 59
 
 Act II. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your 
 affection, that I should win what you would 
 enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself 
 very preposterously. 
 
 Ford. O, understand my drift. She dwells so se- 
 curely on the excellency of her honour, that 
 the folly of my soul dares not present itself: she 
 is too bright to be looked against. Now, could 
 I come to her with any detection in my hand, 250 
 my desires had instance and argument to com- 
 mend themselves: I could drive her then from 
 the ward of her purity, her reputation, her 
 marriage-vow, and a thousand other her de- 
 fences, which now are too too strongly em- 
 battled against me. What sav you to 't, Sir 
 John? 
 
 Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your 
 money; next, give me your hand; and last, as 
 I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy 
 Ford's wife. 260 
 
 Ford. O good sir! 
 
 Fal. I say you shall. 
 
 Ford. Want no money, Sir John; you shall want 
 none. 
 
 Fal. Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you 
 shall want none. I shall be with her, I may 
 tell you, by her own appointment; even as you 
 came in to me, her assistant, or go-between, 
 parted from me: I say I shall be with her be- 
 tween ten and eleven; for at that time the 270 
 jealous rascally knave her husband will be forth. 
 Come you to me at night; you shall know how 
 I speed. 
 
 60
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. ii. 
 
 Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you 
 know Ford, sir? 
 
 Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him 
 not: — yet I wrong him to call him poor; they 
 say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of 
 money; for the which his wife seems to me 
 well-favoured. I will use her as the key of 280 
 the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my 
 harvest-home. 
 
 Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might 
 avoid him, if you saw him. 
 
 Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will 
 stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with 
 my cudgel: it shall hang Hke a meteor o'er the 
 cuckold's horns. Master Brook, thou shalt 
 know I will predominate ^ver the peasant, and 
 thou shalt lie with his wife. Come to me soon 290 
 at night. Ford 's a knave, and I will aggravate 
 his style; thou, Master Brook, shalt know him 
 for knave and cuckold. Come to me soon at 
 night. [Exit. 
 
 Ford. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this! My 
 heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who 
 says this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath 
 sent to him; the hour is fixed; the match is 
 made. Would any man have thought this? 
 See the hell of having a false woman! My 
 bed shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my 300 
 reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only re- 
 ceive this villanous wrong, but stand under the 
 adoption of abominable terms, and by him that 
 does me this wrong. Terms! names! — Amai- 
 mon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, 
 
 61
 
 Act II. Sc. iii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 well; yet they are devils' additions, the names 
 of fiends: but Cuckold! Wittol!— Cuckold! the 
 devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an 
 ass, a secure ass: he will trust his wife; he will 
 not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming 310 
 with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman 
 with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitae 
 bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, 
 than my wife with herself: then she plots, then 
 she ruminates, then she devises; and what 
 they think in their hearts they may effect, they 
 will break their hearts but they will effect. God 
 be praised for my jealousy! — Eleven o'clock the 
 hour. I will prevent this, detect my wife, be 
 revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will 320 
 about it; better three hours too soon than a 
 minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuck- 
 old! cuckold! [Exit, 
 
 Scene III. 
 
 A field near Windsor, 
 
 Enter Caius and Rugby, 
 
 Caius. Jack Rugby! 
 
 Rug. Sir? 
 
 Caius. Vat is de clock. Jack? 
 
 Rug. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised 
 
 to meet. 
 Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no 
 
 come; he has pray his Pible well, dat he is no 
 
 come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, 
 
 if he be come. 
 
 62
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. iii. 
 
 Rug. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would lo 
 
 kill him, if he came. 
 Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill 
 
 him. Take your rapier. Jack; I vill tell you 
 
 how I vill kill him. 
 Rug. Alas, sir, I cannot fence. 
 Caius. Villainy, take your rapier. 
 Rug. Forbear; here's company. 
 
 Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page. 
 
 Host. Bless thee, bully doctor! 
 
 Shal. Save you. Master Doctor Caius! 
 
 Page. Now, good master doctor ! 20 
 
 Slen. Give you good morrow, sir. 
 
 Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come 
 for? 
 
 Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee 
 traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; 
 to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy re- 
 verse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, 
 my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, 
 bully! What says my ^sculapius? my Galen? 
 my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully-stale? 30 
 is he dead? 
 
 Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de 
 vorld; he is not show his face. 
 
 Host. Thou art a Castalion, King-Urinal. Hector 
 of Greece, my boy! 
 
 Caius. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay 
 six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is 
 no come. 
 
 Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor; he is a 
 
 63
 
 Act II. Sc. iii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if 40 
 you should fight, you go against the hair of 
 your professions. Is it not true, Master Page? 
 
 Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a 
 great fighter, though now a man of peace. 
 
 Shal. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, 
 and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger 
 itches to make one. Though we are justices, 
 and doctors, and churchmen, Master Page, we 
 have some salt of our youth in us; we are the 
 sons of women. Master Page. 5^ 
 
 Page. 'Tis true, Master Shallow. 
 
 Shal. It will be found so, Master Page. Master 
 Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. 
 I am sworn of the peace: you have shewed 
 yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath 
 shewn himself a wise and patient churchman. 
 You must go with me, master doctor. 
 
 Host. Pardon, guest-justice. — A word, Mounseur 
 Mock-water. 
 
 Cains. Mock-vater! vat is dat? 60 
 
 Host. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, 
 bully. 
 
 Cains. By gar, den, I have as much mock-vater as 
 de EngHshman. — Scurvy jack-dog priest! by 
 gar, me vill cut his ears. 
 
 Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. 
 
 Cains. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat? 
 
 Host. That is, he will make thee amends. 
 
 Caius. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw 
 
 me; for, by gar, me vill have it. yo 
 
 Host. And I will provoke him to 't, or let him wag, 
 
 64
 
 OF WINDSOR Act II. Sc. iii. 
 
 Caius. Me tank you for dat. 
 
 Host. And, moreover, bully, — But first, master 
 guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro 
 Slender, go you through the town to Frog- 
 more. [Aside to them. 
 
 Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he? 
 
 Host. He is there: see what humour he is in; and 
 I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will 
 it do well? 
 
 ShaL We will do it. 80 
 
 Page, ShaL, and Slen. Adieu, good master doctor. 
 
 {Exeunt Page, ShaL, and Slen. 
 
 Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak 
 for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page. 
 
 Host. Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw 
 cold water on thy choler: go about the fields 
 with me through Frogmore: I will bring thee 
 where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house 
 a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried I 
 aim? said I well? 
 
 Cains. By gar, me dank you vor dat: by gar, I 90 
 love you; and I shall procure-a you de good 
 guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentle- 
 men, my patients. 
 
 Host. For the which I w^ill be thy adversary toward 
 Anne Page. Said I well? 
 
 Caius. By gar, 'tis good; veil said. 
 
 Host. Let us wag, then. 
 
 Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. [Exeunt. 
 
 65
 
 Act III. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 ACT THIRD. 
 Scene I. 
 
 A Held near Frogniore. 
 
 Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple. 
 
 Evans. I pray you now, good Master Slender's 
 serving-man, and friend Simple by your name, 
 which way have you looked for Master Caius, 
 that calls himself doctor of physic? 
 Sim. Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward, 
 every way: old Windsor way, and every way 
 but the town way. 
 Evans. I most fehemently desire you you will also 
 
 look that way. 
 Sim. I will, sir. {Exit. lo 
 
 Evans. Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and 
 trempling of mind — I shall be glad if he have 
 deceived me. — How melancholies I am! — I will 
 knog his urinals about his knave's costard when 
 I have goot opportunities for the ork. — 
 Pless my soul! — [Sings. 
 
 To shallow rivers, to whose falls 
 Melodious birds sing madrigals ; 
 There will we make our peds of roses. 
 And a thousand fragrant posies. 20 
 
 To shallow — 
 Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions 
 
 to cry. {Sings. 
 
 Melodious birds sing madrigals — 
 Whenas I sat in Pabylon — 
 
 66
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. i. 
 
 And a thousand vagram posies. 
 To shallow, &c. » 
 
 Re-enter Simple. 
 
 Sim. Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh. 
 Evans. He 's welcome. — {Sings. 
 
 To shallow rivers, to whose falls — 
 
 Heaven prosper the right! — What weapons is 
 
 he? 30 
 
 Sim. No weapons, sir. There comes my master, 
 
 Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from 
 
 Frogmore, over the stile, this way. 
 Evans. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it 
 
 in your arms. 
 
 Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. 
 
 Shal. How now, master parson! Good morrow, 
 
 good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the 
 
 dice, and a good student from his book, and 
 
 it is wonderful. 
 Slen. [Aside] Ah, sweet Anne Page! 40 
 
 Page. Save you, good Sir Hugh! 
 Evans. Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! 
 Shal. What, the sword and the word! do you study 
 
 them both, master parson? 
 Page. And youthful still! in your doublet and hose 
 
 this raw rheumatic day! 
 Evans. There is reasons and causes for it. 
 Page. We are come to you to do a good offtce, 
 
 master parson. 
 Evans. Fery well: what is it? 50 
 
 Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, 
 
 belike having received wrong by some person, 
 
 67
 
 Act III. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 is at most odds with his own gravity and pa- 
 tience that ever you saw. 
 
 Shal. I have Hved fourscore years and upward; I 
 never heard a man of his place, gravity, and 
 learning, so wide of his own respect. 
 
 Evans. What is he? 
 
 Page. I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, 
 
 the renowned French physician. 60 
 
 Evans. Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I 
 had as lief you would tell me of a mess of 
 porridge. 
 
 Page. Why? 
 
 Evans. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates 
 and Galen, — and he is a knave besides; a cow- 
 ardly knave as you would desires to be ac- 
 quainted withal. 
 
 Page. I warrant you, he 's the man should fight with 
 him. 
 
 Slen. [Aside'l O sweet Anne Page! 70 
 
 Shal. It appears so, by his weapons. Keep them 
 asunder: here comes Doctor Caius. 
 
 Enter Host, Cains, and Rugby. 
 
 Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your 
 weapon. 
 
 Shal. So do you, good master doctor. 
 
 Host. Disarm them, and let them question: let them 
 keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. 
 
 Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your 
 ear. Verefore vill you not meet-a me? 
 
 Evans. [Aside to Cains] Pray you, use your pa- 
 tience: in good time. 80 
 
 Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John 
 Ape. 
 
 68
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. i. 
 
 Evans. [Aside to Caius] Pray you, let us not be 
 laughing-stocks to other men's humours ; I de- 
 sire you in friendship, and I will one way or 
 other make you amends. [Aloud] I will knog 
 your urinals about your knave's cogscomb for 
 missing your meetings and appointments. 
 
 Caius. Diable ! — Jack Rugby, — mine host de Jarteer, 
 
 — have I not stay for him to kill him? have I 90 
 not, at de place I did appoint ? 
 
 Evans. As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, 
 this is the place appointed : I '11 be judgement by 
 mine host of the Garter. 
 
 Host. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and 
 Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer ! 
 
 Cains. Ay, dat is very good ; excellent. 
 
 Host. Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter. 
 Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? 
 Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the 100 
 potions and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, 
 my priest, my Sir Hugh ? no ; he gives me the 
 proverbs and the no-verbs. Give me thy hand, 
 terrestrial ; so. Give me thy hand, celestial ; 
 so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I 
 have directed you to wrong places : your hearts 
 are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt 
 sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to 
 pawn. Follow me, lads of peace ; follow, follow, 
 follow. no 
 
 Shai Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, 
 
 follow. 
 Slen. [Aside] O sweet Anne Page! 
 
 [Exeunt ShaL, Slen., Page, and Host, 
 
 69
 
 Act III. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Caius. Ha, do I perceive dat ? have you make-a de sot 
 of us, ha, ha ? 
 
 Evans. This is well; he has made us his vlouting- 
 stog. — I desire you that we may be friends ; and 
 let us knog our prains together to be revenge on 
 this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the 
 host of the Garter. 120 
 
 Caius. By gar, with all my heart. He promise to 
 bring me where is Anne Page ; by gar, he de- 
 ceive me too. 
 
 Evans. Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, 
 
 follow. {Exeunt. 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 The street, in Windsor. 
 Enter Mistress Page and Robin. 
 
 Mrs Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you 
 were wont to be a follower, but now you are a 
 leader. Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, 
 or eye your master's heels ? 
 
 Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man 
 than follow him like a dwarf. 
 
 Mi's Page. O, you are a flattering boy : now I see 
 you '11 be a courtier. 
 
 Enter Ford, 
 
 Ford. Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you ? 
 Mrs. Page. Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she 
 
 at home? 10 
 
 Ford. Ay ; and as idle as she may hang together, for 
 
 want of company. I think, if your husbands 
 
 were dead, you two would marry. 
 70
 
 OF WINDSOR , Act III. Sc. ii. 
 
 Mrs Page. Be sure of that, — two other husbands. 
 Ford. Where had you this pretty weathercock? 
 Mrs Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his name 
 
 is my husband had him of. — What do you call 
 
 your knight's name, sirrah ? 
 
 Rob. Sir John Falstaff. 
 
 Ford. Sir John Falstaff! 20 
 
 Mrs Page. He, he; I can never hit on 's name. 
 There is such a league between my good man 
 and he! — Is your wife at home indeed? 
 
 Ford. Indeed she is. 
 
 Mrs Page. By your leave, sir: I am sick till I see 
 
 her. [Exeunt Mrs Page and Robin, 
 
 Ford. Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath 
 he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no 
 use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter 
 twenty mile, as easy as a cannon will shoot 30 
 point-blank twelve score. He pieces out his 
 wife's inclination; he gives her folly motion and 
 advantage: and now she's going to my wife, 
 and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear 
 this shower sing in the wind. And Falstaff's 
 boy with her! Good plots, they are laid; and 
 our revolted wives share damnation together. 
 Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, 
 pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the 
 so seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself 40 
 for a secure and wilful Actseon ; and to these vio- 
 lent proceedings all my neighbors shall cry aim. 
 [Clock heard.] The clock gives me my cue, and 
 my assurance bids me search: there I shall find 
 FalstafT: I shall be rather praised for this than 
 
 71
 
 Act III. Sc. ii. , MERRY WIVES 
 
 mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm 
 that Falstaff is there: I will go. 
 
 Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, 
 Cains, and Rugby, 
 
 ShaL, Page, &c. Well met, Master Ford. 
 
 Ford. Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at 
 
 home; and I pray you all go with me. 50 
 
 ShaL I must excuse myself, Master Ford. 
 
 Slen. And so must I, sir: we have appointed to dine 
 with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with 
 her for more money than I '11 speak of. 
 
 ShaL We have lingered about a match between 
 Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day 
 we shall have our answer. 
 
 Slen. I hope I have your good will, father Page. 
 
 Page. You have. Master Slender; I stand wholly 
 
 for you: — but my wife, master doctor, is for 60 
 you altogether. 
 
 Caius. Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me: my 
 nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush. 
 
 Host. What say you to young Master Fenton? he 
 capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he 
 writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells 
 April and May: he will carry 't, he will carry 't; 
 'tis in his buttons; he will carry 't. 
 
 Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gen- 
 tleman is of no having: he kept company with 70 
 the wild prince and Poines; he is of too high 
 a region; he knows too much. No, he shall not 
 knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my 
 substance: if he take her, let him take her 
 72
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. iiL 
 
 simply; the wealth I have waits on my consent, 
 
 and my consent goes not that way. 
 Ford. I beseech you heartily, some of you go home 
 
 with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you 
 
 shall have sport; I will show you a monster. 
 
 Master doctor, you shall go; so shall you, 80 
 
 Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh. 
 Shal. Well, fare you well: We shall have the freer 
 
 wooing at Master Page's. [Exeunt Shal. and Slen. 
 Cains. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. 
 
 [Exit Rugby. 
 Host. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest 
 
 knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [Exit, 
 Ford. [Aside] I think I shall drink in pipe-wine 
 
 first with him; I '11 make him dance. Will you 
 
 go, gentles? 
 All. Have with you to see this monster. [Exeunt, 
 
 Scene III. 
 
 A room in Ford's house. 
 
 Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, 
 
 Mrs Ford. What, John! What, Robert! 
 
 Mrs Page. Quickly, quickly! — is the buckbasket — 
 
 Mrs Ford. I warrant. What, Robin, I say! 
 
 Enter Servants with a basket. 
 
 Mrs Page. Come, come, come. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Here, set it down. 
 
 Mrs Page. Give your men the charge; we must be 
 
 brief. 
 Mrs Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John and 
 
 7Z
 
 Act III. Sc. iii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Robert, be ready here hard by in the brew- 
 house; and when I suddenly call you, come lo 
 forth, and, without any pause or staggering, 
 take this basket on your shoulders: that done, 
 trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among 
 the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there empty 
 it in the muddy ditch close by the Thames side. 
 
 Mrs Page. You will do it ? 
 
 Mrs Ford. I ha' told them over and over; they lack 
 no direction. Be gone, and come when you 
 are called. [Exeunt Servants. 
 
 Mrs Page. Here comes little Robin. 20 
 
 Enter Robin. 
 
 Mrs Ford. How now, my eyas-musket! what news 
 with you? 
 
 Rob. My master. Sir John, is come in at your back- 
 door, Mistress Ford, and requests your com- 
 pany. 
 
 Mrs Page. You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been 
 true to us? 
 
 Rob. Ay, I '11 be sworn. My master knows not of 
 your being here, and hath threatened to put me 
 into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for 
 he sw^ears he '11 turn me away. 30 
 
 Mrs Page. Thou 'rt a good boy: this secrecy of 
 thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make 
 thee a new doublet and hose. I '11 go hide me. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone. 
 [Exit Robin.] Mistress Page, remember you 
 your cue. 
 
 Mrs Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me. 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 74
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. iii. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Go to, then : we '11 use this unwholesome 
 
 humidity, this gross watery pumpion ; we '11 40 
 teach him to know turtles from jays. 
 
 Enter FalstafF. 
 
 Fal. 'Have I caught' thee, 'my heavenly jewel?' 
 Why, now let me die, for I have lived long 
 enough: this is the period of my ambition: O 
 this blessed hour! 
 
 Mrs Ford. O sweet Sir John ! 
 
 Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, 
 Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: 
 I would thy husband were dead: I '11 speak it 
 before the best lord; I would make thee my 50 
 lady. 
 
 Mrs Ford. I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a 
 pitiful lady! 
 
 Fal. Let the court of France show me such another. 
 I see how thine eye would emulate the dia- 
 mond: thou hast the right arched beauty of the 
 brow that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, 
 or any tire of Venetian admittance. 
 
 Mrs Ford. A plain kerchief, Sir John : my brows 
 
 become nothing else; nor that well neither. 60 
 
 Fal. By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so : thou 
 wouldst make an absolute courtier; and the 
 firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent 
 motion to thy gait in a semicircled farthingale. 
 I see what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were 
 not. Nature thy friend. Come, thou canst not 
 hide it. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Believe me, there 's no such thing in me. 
 
 75
 
 Act III. Sc. iii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade 
 
 thee there 's something extraordinary in thee. 70 
 Come, I cannot cog, and say thou art this and 
 that, like a many of these lisping hawthornbuds, 
 that come like women in men's apparel, and 
 smell Hke Bucklersbury in simple time; I can- 
 not: but I love thee; none but thee; and thou 
 deservest it. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love 
 Mistress Page. 
 
 Fal. Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by the 
 
 Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the 80 
 reek of a lime-kiln. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and 
 you shall one day find it. 
 
 Fal. Keep in that mind; I '11 deserve it. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do ; or else 
 I could not be in that mind. 
 
 Roh. [Within'] Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! here's 
 Mistress Page at the door, sweating, and blow- 
 ing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak 
 with you presently. 90 
 
 Fal. She shall not see me: I will ensconce me be- 
 hind the arras. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Pray you, do so : she 's a very tattling 
 
 woman. [Falstaif hides himself. 
 
 Re-enter Mistress Page and Robin. 
 
 What's the matter? how now! 
 Mrs Page. O Mistress Ford, what have you done? 
 You 're sham'd, you 're overthrown, you 're un- 
 done for ever! 
 
 76
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. iii. 
 
 Mrs Ford. What 's the matter, good Mistress Page ? 
 Mrs Page. O well-a-day, Mistress Ford! having an lOO 
 
 honest man to your husband, to give him such 
 
 cause of suspicion ! 
 Mrs Ford. What cause of suspicion ? 
 Mrs Page. What cause of suspicion ! Out upon you f 
 
 how am I mistook in you ! 
 Mrs Ford. Why, alas, what 's the matter ? 
 Mrs Page. Your husband 's coming hither, woman, 
 
 with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a 
 
 gentleman that he says is here now in the house, 
 
 by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his no 
 
 absence : you are undone. 
 
 Mrs Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope. 
 
 Mrs Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have 
 such a man here! but 'tis most certain your 
 husband 's coming, with half Windsor at his 
 heels, to search for such a one. I come before 
 to tell you. If you know yourself clear, why, 
 I am glad of it ; but if you have a friend here, 
 convey, convey him out. Be not amazed ; call 
 all your senses to you; defend your reputation, 120 
 or bid farewell to your good life for ever. 
 
 Mrs Ford. What shall I do? There is a gentle- 
 man my dear friend; and I fear not mine own 
 shame so much as his peril : I had rather than 
 a thousand pound he were out of the house. 
 
 Mrs Page. For shame ! never stand ' you had rather ' 
 and ' you had rather ': your husband 's here at 
 hand ; bethink you of some conveyance : in the 
 house you cannot hide him. O, how have you 
 deceived me! Look, here is a basket: if he be 130 
 
 77
 
 Act III. Sc. iii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here ; 
 
 and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were 
 
 going to bucking : or, — it is whiting-time, — send 
 
 him by your two men to Datchet-mead. 
 Mrs Ford. He 's too big to go in there. What shall 
 
 I do? 
 Fal. [Coming forzvard] Let me see 't, let me see 't, O, 
 
 let me see 't ! — I '11 in, I '11 in. — Follow your 
 
 friend's counsel. — I '11 in. 
 Mrs Page. What, Sir John Falstaff ! Are these your 140 
 
 letters, knight? 
 Fal. I love thee. — Help me away. — Let me creep in 
 
 here. — I '11 never — 
 
 [Gets into the basket; they cover him with foul linen. 
 Mrs Page. Help to cover your master, boy. — Call 
 
 your men. Mistress Ford. — You dissembling 
 
 knight ! 
 Mrs Ford. What, John 1 Robert ! John ! [Exit Robin. 
 
 Re-enter Servants. 
 
 Go take up these clothes here quickly. — Where 's 
 the cowl-stafif ? look, how you drumble ! — Carry 
 them to the laundress in Datchet-mead; quickly, 150 
 come. 
 
 Enter Ford, Page, Cains, and Sir Hugh Evans. 
 
 Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect without 
 cause, why then make sport at me ; then let me 
 be your jest ; I deserve it. — How now ! whither 
 bear you this? 
 
 Serv. To the laundress, forsooth. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they 
 
 78
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. iii. 
 
 bear it? You were best meddle with buck- 
 washing. 
 
 Ford. Buck! — I would I could wash myself of the i6o 
 buck! — Buck, buck, buck! Ay buck; I war- 
 rant you, buck; and of the season too, it shall 
 appear. [Exeunt Servants zvith the basket.'] 
 Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night; I'll tell 
 you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: 
 ascend my chambers; search, seek, find out: 
 I '11 warrant we '11 unkennel the fox. Let me 
 stop this way first. [Locking the door.] So, 
 now uncape. 
 
 Page. Good Master Ford, be contented: you wrong 170 
 yourself too much. 
 
 Ford. True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen; you 
 
 shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit. 
 
 Evans. This is fery fantastical humours and jeal- 
 ousies. 
 
 Cains. By gar, 'tis no the fashion of France; it is 
 not jealous in France. 
 
 Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of 
 
 his search. [Exeunt Page, Cains, and Evans. 
 
 Mrs Page. Is there not a double excellency in this? 
 
 Mrs Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that 180 
 my husband is deceived, or Sir John. 
 
 Mrs Page. What a taking was he in when your hus- 
 band asked who was in the basket! 
 
 Mrs Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of 
 washing; so throwing him into the water will 
 do him a benefit. 
 
 Mrs Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all 
 of the same strain were in the same distress. 
 
 Mrs Ford. I think my husband hath some special 
 
 79
 
 Act III. Sc. iii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 suspicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never 190 
 saw him so gross in his jealousy till now. 
 
 Mrs Page. I will lay a plot to try that; and we will 
 yet have more tricks with Falstafif: his dis- 
 solute disease will scarce obey this medicine. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mis- 
 tress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing 
 into the water; and give him another hope, to 
 betray him to another punishment? 
 
 Mrs Page. We will do it: let him be sent for to- 
 morrow, eight o'clock, to have amends. 200 
 
 Re-enter Ford, Page, Cains, and Sir Hugh Evans. 
 
 Ford. I cannot find him : may be the knave bragged 
 of that he could not compass. 
 
 Mrs Page. [Aside to Mrs Ford] Heard you that? 
 
 Mrs Ford. You use me well. Master Ford, do you? 
 
 Ford. Ay, I do so. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Heaven make you better than your 
 thoughts ! 
 
 Ford. Amen! 
 
 Mrs Page. You do yourself mighty wrong. Master 
 
 Ford. 210 
 
 Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it. 
 
 Evans. If there be any pody in the house, and in the 
 chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, 
 heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgement! 
 
 Cains. By gar, nor I too: there is no bodies. 
 
 Page. Fie, fie, Master Ford! are you not ashamed? 
 What spirit, what devil suggests this imagina- 
 tion? I would not ha' your distemper in this 
 kind for the wealth of Windsor Castle. 
 80
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. iv. 
 
 Ford. 'Tis my fault, Master Page : I suffer for it. 220 
 
 Evans. You suffer for a pad conscience : your wife is 
 as honest a 'omans as I will desires among five 
 thousand, and five hundred too. 
 
 Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. 
 
 Ford. Well, I promised you a dinner. — Come, come, 
 walk in the park : I pray you, pardon me ; I will 
 hereafter make known to you why I have done 
 this. — Come, wife; come, Mistress Page. — I 
 pray you, pardon me ; pray heartily pardon me. 
 
 Page. Let 's go in, gentlemen ; but, trust me, we '11 230 
 mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning 
 to my house to breakfast : after, we '11 a-birding 
 together ; I have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall 
 it be so ? 
 
 Ford. Any thing. 
 
 Evans. If there is one, I shall make two In the com- 
 pany. 
 
 Cains. If there be one or two, I shall make-a the 
 turd. 
 
 Ford. Pray you, go. Master Page. 
 
 Evans. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on 
 
 the lousy knave, mine host. 240 
 
 Cains, Dat is good ; by gar, with all my heart ! 
 
 Evans. A lousy knave, to have his gibes and his 
 
 mockeries ! [Exeunt 
 
 Scene IV. 
 
 'A room in Page's house. 
 
 Enter Fenton and Anne Page. 
 
 Fent. I see I cannot get thy father's love ; 
 
 Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. 
 Anne. Alas, how then ? 
 
 81
 
 Act III. Sc. iv. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Fent. Why, thou must be thyself. 
 
 He doth object I am too great of birth ; 
 
 And that, my state being gaU'd with my expense, 
 
 I seek to heal it only by his wealth : 
 
 Besides these, other bars he lays before me, — 
 
 My riots past, my wild societies ; 
 
 And tells me 'tis a thing impossible lo 
 
 I should love thee but as a property. 
 Anne. May be he tells you true. 
 Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come ! 
 
 Albeit I will confess thy feather's wealth 
 
 Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne : 
 
 Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value 
 
 Than stamps in gold or sums in sealed bags ; 
 
 And 'tis the very riches of thyself 
 
 That now I aim at. 
 Anne. Gentle Master Fenton, 20 
 
 Yet seek my father's love ; still seek it, sir : 
 
 If opportunity and humblest suit 
 
 Cannot attain it, why, then, — hark you hither ! 
 
 [They converse apart. 
 
 Enter Shallozv, Slender, and Mistress Quickly. 
 
 Shal. Break their talk. Mistress Quickly: my kins- 
 man shall speak for himself. 
 
 Slen. I '11 make a shaft or a bolt on 't : 'slid, 'tis but 
 venturing. 
 
 Shal. Be not dismayed. 
 
 Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for 
 
 that, but that I am afeard. 30 
 
 Quick. Hark ye; Master Slender would speak a 
 word with you. 
 
 82
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. iv. 
 
 Anjie. I come to him. [Aside] This is my father's 
 
 choice. 
 
 O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults 
 
 Looks handsome in three hundred pounds 
 
 a-year! 
 Quick. And how does good Master Fenton? Pray 
 
 you, a word with you. 
 Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou 
 
 hadst a father! 40 
 
 Slen. I had a father. Mistress Anne; my uncle can 
 
 tell you good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, 
 
 tell Mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole 
 
 two geese out of a pen, good uncle. 
 Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. 
 Slen. Ay, that I do ; as well as I love any woman in 
 
 Gloucestershire. 
 Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. 
 Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under 
 
 the degree of a squire. 5^ 
 
 Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds 
 
 jointure. 
 Anne. Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself. 
 Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for 
 
 that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll 
 
 leave you. 
 Anne. Now, Master Slender, — 
 Slen. Now, good Mistress Anne, — 
 Anne. What is your will? 
 Slen. My will! od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest 
 
 indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, 1 thank 60 
 
 heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give 
 
 heaven praise. 
 Anne. I mean. Master Slender, what would you with 
 
 me? 
 
 83
 
 Act III. Sc. iv. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or 
 nothing with you. Your father and my uncle 
 hath made motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, 
 happy man be his dole! They can tell you 
 how things go better than I can: you may ask 
 your father; here he comes. 70 
 
 Enter Page and Mistress Page. 
 
 Page. Now, Master Slender: love him, daughter 
 Anne. — Why, how now! what does Master 
 Fenton here? You wrong me, sir, thus still to 
 haunt my house: I told you, sir, my daughter 
 is disposed of. 
 
 Pent. Nay, Master Page, be not impatient. 
 
 Mrs Page. Good Master Fenton, come not to my 
 child. 
 
 Page. She is no match for you. 
 
 Pent. Sir, will you hear me? 
 
 Page. No, good Master Fenton. 
 
 Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, in. 
 Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master 80 
 Fenton. [Exeunt Page, Shal., and Slen. 
 
 Quick. Speak to Mistress Page. 
 
 Pent. Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter 
 In such a righteous fashion as I do. 
 Perforce, against all checks, rebukes and manners, 
 I must advance the colours of my love, 
 And not retire: let me have your good will. 
 
 Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool. 
 
 Mrs Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better hus- 
 band. 90 
 
 Quick. That 's my master, master doctor. 
 
 Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth, 
 And bowl'd to death with turnips! 
 
 84
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. v. 
 
 Mrs Page. Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master 
 Fenton. 
 I will not be your friend nor enemy : 
 My daughter will I question how she loves you, 
 And as I find her, so am I affected. 
 Till then farewell, sir : she must needs go in ; 
 Her father will be angry. lOO 
 
 Pent Farewell, gentle mistress : farewell. Nan. 
 
 [Exeunt Mrs Page and Anne. 
 
 Quick. This is my doing now : * Nay,' said I, ' will 
 you cast away your child on a fool, and a phy- 
 sician ? Look on Master Fenton' : this is my do- 
 ing. 
 
 Pent. I thank thee ; and I pray thee, once to-night 
 Give my sweet Nan this ring : there 's for thy 
 pains. 
 
 Quick. Now heaven send thee good fortune ! [Exit 
 Penton,] A kind heart he hath : a woman would 
 run through fire and water for such a kind heart, no 
 But yet I would my master had Mistress Anne ; 
 or I would Master Slender had her; or, in 
 sooth, I would Master Fenton had her : I will do 
 what I can for them all three; for so I have 
 promised, and I '11 be as good as my word ; but 
 speciously for Master Fenton. Well, I must of 
 another errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two 
 mistresses : what a beast am I to slack it ! [Exit, 
 
 Scene V. 
 
 A room in the Garter Inn. 
 Enter Palstaif and Bardolph. 
 Pal. Bardolph, I say, — 
 
 85
 
 Act III. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Bard. Here, sir. 
 
 Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack ; put a toast in 't. 
 [Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a 
 basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal, and to 
 be thrown in the Thames? Well, if I be served 
 such another trick, I '11 have my brains ta'en out, 
 and buttered, and give them to a dog for a new- 
 year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the 
 river with as little remorse as they would have lo 
 drowned a blind bitch's puppies, fifteen i' the 
 litter : and you may know by my size that I have 
 a kind of alacrity in sinking ; if the bottom were 
 as deep as hell, I should down. I had been 
 drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and 
 shallow, — a death that I abhor; for the water 
 swells a man ; and what a thing should I have 
 been when I had been swelled! I should have 
 been a mountain of mummy. 
 
 Re-enter Bardolph with sack. 
 
 Bard. Here 's Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with 20 
 you. 
 
 Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames 
 water ; for my belly 's as cold as if I had swal- 
 lowed snowballs for pills to cool the reins. 
 Call her in. 
 
 Bard. Come in, woman ! 
 
 Enter Mrs Quickly. 
 
 Quick. By your leave ; I cry you mercy : give your 
 
 worship good morrow. 
 Fal. Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle 
 
 of sack finely. 
 
 86
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. v. 
 
 Bard. With eggs, sir? 30 
 
 Fal. Simple of itself; I '11 no pullet-sperm in my 
 
 brewage. [Exit Bardolph.] How now! 
 Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from 
 
 Mistress Ford. 
 Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough; I was 
 
 thrown into the ford; I have my belly full of 
 
 ford. 
 Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her 
 
 fault: she does so take on with her men; they 
 
 mistook their erection. 
 Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's 40 
 
 promise. 
 Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would 
 
 yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes 
 
 this morning a-birding; she desires you once 
 
 more to come to her between eight and nine: I 
 
 must carry her word quickly: she'll make you 
 
 amends, I warrant you. 
 Fal. Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid her 
 
 think what a man is: let her consider his frailty, 
 
 and then judge of my merit. 50 
 
 Quick. I will tell her. 
 
 Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, sayest thou? 
 Quick. Eight and nine, sir. 
 Fal. Well, be gone : I will not miss her. 
 Quick. Peace be with you, sir. [Exit. 
 
 Fal. I marvel I hear not of Master Brook; he sent 
 
 me word to stay within: I like his money well. 
 
 — O, here he comes. 
 
 Enter Ford. 
 
 Ford. Bless you, sir! 
 
 87
 
 Act III. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Fal. Now, Master Brook, — you come to know what 60 
 hath passed between me and Ford's wife? 
 
 Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my business. 
 
 Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you: I was at 
 her house the hour she appointed me. 
 
 Ford. And sped you, sir? 
 
 Fal. Very ill-favouredly, blaster Brook. 
 
 Ford. How so, sir? Did she change her determina- 
 tion? 
 
 Fal. No, Master Brook; but the peaking Cornuto 
 her husband. Master Brook, dwelUng in a con- 
 tinual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the in- 70 
 stant of our encounter, after we had embraced, 
 kissed, protested, and, as it were, spoke the 
 prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a 
 rabble of his companions, thither provoked and 
 instigated by his distemper, and, forsooth, to 
 search his house for his wife's love. 
 
 Ford, What, while you were there? 
 
 Fal. While I was there. 
 
 Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find 
 
 you ? 80 
 
 Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, 
 comes in one Mistress Page; gives intelligence 
 of Ford's approach ; and, in her invention and 
 Ford's wife's distraction, they conveyed me into 
 a buck-basket. 
 
 Ford. A buck-basket! 
 
 Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket! — rammed me in 
 with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stock- 
 ings, greasy napkins ; that. Master Brook, there 
 was the rankest compound of villanous smell 90 
 that ever offended nostril.
 
 OF WINDSOR Act III. Sc. v. 
 
 Ford, And how long lay you there ? 
 
 Fal. Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have 
 suffered to bring this woman to evil for your 
 good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a 
 couple of P'ord's knaves, his hinds, were called 
 forth by their mistress to carry me in the name 
 of foul clothes to Datchet-lane : they took me on 
 their shoulders; met the jealous knave their 
 master in the door, who asked them once or loo 
 twice what they had in their basket: I quaked 
 for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have 
 searched it; but fate, ordaining he should be 
 a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went he 
 for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. 
 But mark the sequel, IMaster Brook : I suffered 
 the pangs of three several deaths; first, an in- 
 tolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous 
 rotten bell-wether; next, to be compassed, like 
 a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt no 
 to point, heel to head; and then, to be stopped 
 in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes 
 that fretted in their own grease: think of that, 
 — a man of my kidney, — think of that, — that am 
 as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual 
 dissolution and thaw : it was a miracle to 'scape 
 suffocation. And in the height of this bath, 
 when I was more than half stewed in grease, 
 like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, 
 and cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a 120 
 horse-shoe ; think of that, — hissing hot, — think 
 of that. Master Brook. 
 
 Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my 
 
 89
 
 Act III. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 sake you have suffered all this. My suit, then, 
 is desperate; you '11 undertake her no more? 
 
 Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I 
 have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. 
 Her husband is this morning gone a-birding: I 
 have received from her another embassy of 
 meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, 130 
 Master Brook. 
 
 Ford. Tis past eight already, sir. 
 
 Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appoint- 
 ment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, 
 and you shall know how I speed; and the con- 
 clusion shall be crowned with your enjoying her. 
 Adieu. You shall have her, Master Brook; 
 Master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit. 
 
 Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? 
 
 do I sleep? Master Ford, awake! awake, 140 
 Master Ford! there 's a hole made in your best 
 coat. Master Ford. This 'tis to be married ! this 
 'tis to have linen and buck-baskets! Well, I 
 will proclaim myself what I am : I will now take 
 the lecher; he is at my house; he cannot 'scape 
 me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep 
 into a half-penny purse, nor into a pepper-box: 
 but, lest the devil that guides him should aid 
 him, I will search impossible places. Though 
 what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I 150 
 would not shall not make me tame: if I have 
 horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with 
 me, — I '11 be horn mad. [Exit. 
 
 90
 
 or WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. i. 
 
 ACT FOURTH. 
 Scene I. 
 
 A street. 
 Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Quickly, and William. 
 
 Mrs Page. Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st 
 thou? 
 
 Quick. Sure he Is by this, or will be presently : but, 
 truly, he is very courageous mad about his 
 throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires 
 you to come suddenly. 
 
 Mrs Page. I '11 be with her by and by ; I '11 but bring 
 my young man here to school. Look, where his 
 master comes ; 'tis a playing-day, I see. 
 
 Enter Sir Hugh Evans. 
 
 How now, Sir Hugh ! no school to-day ? lo 
 
 Evans. No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to 
 
 play. 
 Quick. Blessing of his heart! 
 Mrs Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says my son 
 
 profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray 
 
 you, ask him some questions in his accidence. 
 Evans. Come hither, William ; hold up your head ; 
 
 come. 
 Mrs Page. Come on, sirrah ; hold up your head ; 
 
 answer your master, be not afraid. 20 
 
 Evans. William, how manv numbers is in nouns? 
 Will. Two. 
 Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one number 
 
 more, because they say, ' Od's nouns.' 
 
 91
 
 Act IV. Sc. i. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Evans. Peace your tattlings ! What is ' fair,' Wil- 
 liam? 
 
 Will Pulcher. 
 
 Quick. Polecats ! there are fairer things than pole- 
 cats, sure. 
 
 Evans. You are a very simplicity 'oman : I pray you, 30 
 peace. — What is ' lapis,' William ? 
 
 Will A stone. 
 
 Evans. And what is ' a stone,' William? 
 
 Will A pebble. 
 
 Evans. No, it is ' lapis ' : I pray you, remember in 
 your prain. 
 
 Will Lapis. 
 
 Evans. That is a good William. What is he, Wil- 
 liam, that does lend articles? 
 
 Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and 40 
 be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hie, 
 hsec, hoc. 
 
 Evans. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog ; pray you, mark : 
 genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative 
 case? 
 
 Will Accusativo, hinc. 
 
 Evans. I pray you, have your remembrance, child ; 
 accusativo, hung, hang, hog. 
 
 Quick. ' Hang-hog ' is Latin for bacon, I warrant 
 you. 
 
 Evans. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. — What is the 50 
 focative case, WiUiam. 
 
 Will O, — vocativo, O. 
 
 Evans. Remember, William ; focative is caret. 
 
 Quick. And that 's a good root. 
 
 Evans. 'Oman, forbear. 
 
 Mrs Page. Peace! 
 
 92
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. i. 
 
 Evans. What is your genitive case plural, William ? 
 
 IVill. Genitive case ! 
 
 Evans. Ay. 
 
 Will. Genitive, — horum, harum, horum. 60 
 
 Quick. Vengeance of Jenny's case ! fie on her! never 
 name her, child, if she be a whore. 
 
 Evans. For shame, 'oman. 
 
 Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words : — he 
 teaches him to hick and to hack, which they '11 do 
 fast enough of themselves, and to call ' horum ' : 
 — fie upon you ! 
 
 Evans. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no un- 
 derstandings for thy cases, and the numbers of 
 the genders ? Thou art as foolish Christian crea- 70 
 tures as I would desires. 
 
 Mrs Page. Prithee, hold thy peace. 
 
 Evans. Show me now, William, some declensions of 
 your pronouns. 
 
 WilL Forsooth, I have forgot. 
 
 Evans. It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 
 ' quies,' your ' quses,' and your ' quods,' you 
 must be preeches. Go your ways, and play ; go. 
 
 Mrs Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he 80 
 was. 
 
 Evans. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mis- 
 tress Page. 
 
 Mrs Page. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh. 
 
 Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long. 
 
 [Exeunt^ 
 
 93
 
 Act IV. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 A room in Ford's house. 
 Enter Falstaff and Mrs Ford, 
 
 Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my 
 sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your 
 love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth ; 
 not only, Mistress Ford, in the simple office of 
 love, but in all the accoutrement, complement, 
 and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your 
 husband now? 
 
 Mrs Ford. He 's a-birding, sweet Sir John. 
 
 Mrs Page. [Within^ What, ho, gossip Ford! what, 
 
 ho! lo 
 
 Mrs Ford, Step into the chamber, Sir John. 
 
 [Exit Falstaif. 
 Enter Mistress Page. 
 
 Mrs Page. How now, sweetheart ! who 's at home 
 besides yourself? 
 
 Mrs Ford. Why, none but mine own people. 
 
 Mrs Page. Indeed ! 
 
 Mrs Ford. No, certainly. [Aside to her] Speak 
 louder. 
 
 Mrs Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody 
 here. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Why? 
 
 Mrs Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old 
 
 lunes again : he so takes on yonder with my 20 
 husband ; so rails against all married mankind ; 
 so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complex- 
 ion soever ; and so buffets himself on the fore- 
 head, crying, ' Peer out, peer out ! ' that any 
 madness I ever yet beheld seemed but tameness, 
 
 94
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. ii. 
 
 civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is 
 in now : I am glad the fat knight is not here. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Why, does he talk of him? 
 
 Mrs Page. Of none but him; and swears he was 
 
 carried out, the last time he searched for him, 30 
 in a basket ; protests to my husband he is now 
 here ; and hath drawn him and the rest of their 
 company from their sport, to make another ex- 
 periment of his suspicion : but I am glad the 
 knight is not here ; now he shall see his own 
 foolery. 
 
 Mrs Ford. How near is he, Mistress Page? 
 
 Mrs Page. Hard by, at street end; he will be here 
 anon. 
 
 Mrs Ford. I am undone ! — the knight is here. 40 
 
 Mrs Page. Why, then, you are utterly shamed, and 
 he 's but a dead man. What a woman are you! 
 — Away with him, away with him! better shame 
 than murder. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Which way should he go ? how should I 
 bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket 
 again? 
 
 Re-enter Falstaif. 
 
 Fal. No, I '11 come no more i' the basket. May I not 
 
 go out ere he come ? 
 Mrs Page. Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers 50 
 
 watch the door with pistols, that none shall 
 
 issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere 
 
 he came. But what make you here? 
 Fal. What shall I do? — I'll creep up into the 
 
 chimney. 
 Mrs Ford. There they always use to discharge their 
 
 birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole. 
 
 95
 
 Act IV. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Fal. Where is it? 
 
 Mrs Ford. He will see there, on my word. Neither 
 press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he 
 hath an abstract for the remembrance of such 60 
 places, and goes to them by his note : there is 
 no hiding you in the house. 
 
 Fal. I '11 go out, then. 
 
 Mrs Page. If you go out in your own semblance, 
 you die, Sir John. Unless you go out dis- 
 guised, — 
 
 Mrs Ford. How might we disguise him? 
 
 Mrs Page. Alas the day, I know not! There is no 
 woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise 
 he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a ker- 70 
 chief, and so escape. 
 
 Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity 
 rather than a mischief. 
 
 Mrs Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brent- 
 ford, has a gown above. 
 
 Mrs Page. On my word, it will serve him ; she 's as 
 big as he is: and there's her thrummed hat, 
 and her muffler too. Run up, Sir John. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page 
 
 and I will look some linen for your head. 80 
 
 Mrs Page. Quick, quick! we'll come dress you 
 
 straight: put on the gown the while. [Exit Falstaif. 
 
 Mrs Ford. I would my husband would meet him 
 in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman 
 of Brentford; he swears she 's a witch; forbade 
 her my house, and hath threatened to beat her. 
 
 Mrs Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cud- 
 gel, and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards ! 
 
 96
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. ii. 
 
 Mrs Ford. But is my husband coming ? 
 
 Mrs Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks of 90 
 
 the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelU- 
 
 gence. 
 Mrs Ford. We '11 try that ; for I '11 appoint my men 
 
 to carry the basket again, to meet him at the 
 
 door with it, as they did last time. 
 Mrs Page. Nay, but he '11 be here presently : let 's 
 
 go dress him like the witch of Brentford. 
 Mrs Ford. I '11 first direct my men what they shall do 
 
 with the basket. Go up ; I '11 bring linen for 
 
 him straight. [Exit. 100 
 
 Mrs Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet ! we cannot 
 misuse him enough. 
 
 We '11 leave a proof, by that which we will do. 
 
 Wives may be merry, and yet honest too : 
 
 We do not act that often jest and laugh; 
 
 Tis old, but true, — Still swine eats all the draff. 
 
 [Exit, 
 
 Re-enter Mistress Ford zvith two Servants. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on your 
 shoulders : your master is hard at door ; if he 
 bid you set it down, obey him : quickly, dis- 
 patch. [Exit, no 
 
 First Serv. Come, come, take it up. 
 
 Sec. Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of knight again. 
 
 First Serv. I hope not ; I had as lief bear so much 
 lead. 
 
 Enter Ford, Page, Shallozv, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. 
 
 Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have 
 you any way then to unfool me again? Set 
 
 97
 
 Act IV. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 down the basket, villain! Somebody call my 
 wife. Youth in a basket ! — O you pandarly ras- 
 cals ! there 's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy 
 against me : now shall the devil be shamed. — 
 What, wife, I say ! — Come, come forth ! Behold 120 
 what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching! 
 
 Page. Why, this passes. Master Ford ; you are not to 
 go loose any longer ; you must be pinioned. 
 
 Evans. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad 
 dog! 
 
 Shal. Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed. 
 
 Ford. So say I too, sir. 
 
 Re-enter Mistress Ford. 
 
 Come hither. Mistress Ford ; Mistress Ford, the 
 honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous 
 creature, that hath the jealous fool to her hus- 130 
 band ! I suspect without cause, mistress, do I ? 
 
 Mrs Ford. Heaven be my witness you do, if you sus- 
 pect me in any dishonesty. 
 
 Ford. Well said, brazen-face! hold it out. Come 
 
 forth, sirrah ! [Pulling clothes out of the basket. 
 
 Page. This passes ! 
 
 Mrs Ford. Are you not ashamed ? let the clothes 
 alone. 
 
 Ford. I shall find you anon. 
 
 Evans. 'Tis unreasonable! * Will you take up your 140 
 wife's clothes? Come away. 
 
 Ford. Empty the basket, I say ! 
 
 Mrs Ford. Why, man, why ? 
 
 Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one 
 conveyed out of my house yesterday in this 
 
 98
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. ii. 
 
 basket : why may not he be there again ? In my 
 house I am sure he is: my intelligence is true; 
 my jealousy is reasonable. Pluck me out all the 
 linen. 
 
 Mrs Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a 150 
 flea's death. 
 
 Page. Here 's no man. 
 
 Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford; 
 this wrongs you. 
 
 Evans. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow 
 the imaginations of your own heart : this is 
 jealousies. 
 
 Ford. Well, he 's not here I seek for. 
 
 Page. No, nor nowhere else but in your brain. 
 
 Ford. Help to search my house this one time. If I 160 
 find not what I seek, show no colour for my ex- 
 tremity ; let me for ever be your table-sport ; let 
 them say of me, ' As jealous as Ford, that 
 searched a hollow walnut for his wife's leman." 
 Satisfy me once more; once more search with 
 me. 
 
 Mrs Ford. What, ho, Mistress Page ! come you and 
 the old woman down ; my husband will come 
 into the chamber. 
 
 Ford. Old woman ! what old woman 's that ? 
 
 Mrs Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford. 170 
 
 Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean ! 
 Have I not forbid her my house? She comes 
 of errands, does she ? We are simple men ; we 
 do not know what 's brought to pass under the 
 profession of fortune-telling. She works by 
 charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daub- 
 ery as this is beyond our element: we know 
 
 99
 
 Act IV. Sc. ii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 nothing. Come down, you witch, you hag, you ; 
 come down, I say! 
 Mrs Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband! — Good gen- i8o 
 tlemen, let him not strike the old woman. 
 
 Re-enter Fahtaff in woman's clothes, and Mistress Page. 
 
 Mrs Page. Come, Mother Prat ; come, give me your 
 
 hand. 
 Ford. I '11 prat her. [Beating kwi] Out of my door, 
 
 you witch, you rag, you baggage, you polecat, 
 
 you ronyon ! out, out ! I '11 conjure you, I '11 
 
 fortune-tell you. [Exit Falstaff. 
 
 Mrs Page. Are you not ashamed ? I think you have 
 
 killed the poor woman. 
 Mrs Ford. Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit 190 
 
 for you. 
 Ford. Hang her, witch ! 
 Evans. By yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch 
 
 indeed : I like not when a 'oman has a great 
 
 peard ; I spy a great peard under his muffler. 
 Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, 
 
 follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I 
 
 cry out thus upon no trail, never trust me when 
 
 I open again. 
 Page. Let 's obey his humour a little further : come, 200 
 
 gentlemen. 
 
 [Exeunt Ford, Page, Shal., Cains, and Evan 
 Mrs Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. 
 Mrs Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not ; he beat 
 
 him most unpitifully methought. 
 Mrs Page. I '11 have the cudgel hallowed and hung 
 
 o'er the altar ; it hath done meritorious service.
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. iii. 
 
 Mrs Ford. What think you ? may we, with the war- 
 rant of womanhood and the witness of a good 
 conscience, pursue him with any further re- 
 venge ? 
 
 Mrs Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared 210 
 out of him : if the devil have him not in fee- 
 simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I 
 think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have 
 served him? 
 
 Mrs Page. Yes, by all means ; if it be but to scrape 
 the figures out of your husband's brains. If 
 they can find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous 
 fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two 
 will still be the ministers. 220 
 
 Mrs Ford. I '11 warrant they '11 have him publicly 
 shamed : and methinks there would be no period 
 to the jest, should he not be publicly shamed. 
 
 Mrs Page. Come, to the forge with it, then ; shape 
 it : I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. 
 
 Scene III. 
 
 A room in the Garter Inn, 
 Enter Host and Bardolph, 
 
 Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your 
 horses : the duke himself will be to-morrow at 
 court, and they are going to meet him. 
 
 Host, What duke should that be comes so secretly? 
 I hear not of him in the court. Let me speak 
 with the gentlemen : they speak English ? 
 
 lOI
 
 Act IV. Sc. iv. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Bard. Ay, sir ; I '11 call them to you. 
 
 Host. They shall have my horses ; but I '11 make 
 them pay ; I '11 sauce them : they have had my 
 house a week at command ; I have turned away lo 
 my other guests : they must come off ; I '11 sauce 
 them. Come. [Exeunt. 
 
 Scene IV. 
 
 A room in Ford's house. 
 
 Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and 
 Sir Hugh Evans. 
 
 Evans. 'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'oman as 
 
 ever I did look upon. 
 Page. And did he send you both these letters at an 
 
 instant ? 
 Mrs Page. Within a quarter of an hour. 
 Ford. Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt ; 
 
 I rather will suspect the sun with cold 
 
 Than thee with wantonness : now doth thy honour 
 stand, 
 
 In him that was of late an heretic, 
 
 As firm as faith. 
 Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well ; no more : lo 
 
 Be not as extreme in submission 
 
 As in offence. 
 
 But let our plot go forward : let our wives 
 
 Yet once again, to make us public sport. 
 
 Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow. 
 
 Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it. 
 Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of. 
 Page. How ? to send him word they '11 meet him in 
 
 102
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. iv. 
 
 the Park at midnight? Fie, fie! he'll never 
 come. 20 
 
 Evans. You say he has been thrown in the rivers, 
 and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman : 
 methinks there should be terrors in him that he 
 should not come ; methinks his flesh is punished, 
 he shall have no desires. 
 
 Page. So think I too. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Devise but how you '11 use him when he 
 comes, 
 And let us two devise to bring him thither. 
 
 Mrs Page. There is an old tale goes that Heme the 
 hunter, 
 Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, 30 
 
 Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight, 
 Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns ; 
 And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle. 
 And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain 
 In a most hideous and dreadful manner: 
 You have heard of such a spirit ; and well you know 
 The superstitious idle-headed eld 
 Received, and did deliver to our age. 
 This tale of Heme the hunter for a truth. 
 
 Page. Why, yet there want not many that do fear 40 
 
 In deep of night to walk by this Heme's oak : 
 But what of this ? 
 
 Mrs Ford. Marry, this is our device; 
 
 That FalStaff at that oak shall meet with us. 
 
 Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he '11 come : 
 
 And in this shape when you have brought him thither, 
 What shall be done with him ? what is your plot ? 
 
 Mrs Page. That likewise have we thought upon, and thus : 
 Nan Page my daughter and my little son 
 And three or four more of their growth we '11 dress 
 
 103
 
 Act IV. Sc. iv. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Like urchins, ouphes and fairies, green and white, 50 
 
 With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads, 
 
 And rattles in their hands : upon a sudden, 
 
 As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met, 
 
 Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once 
 
 With some diffused song: upon their sight, 
 
 We two in great amazedness will fly : 
 
 Then let them all encircle him about. 
 
 And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight ; 
 
 And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel. 
 
 In their so sacred paths he dares to tread 60 
 
 In shape profane. 
 
 Mrs Ford. And till he tell the truth, 
 
 Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound. 
 And burn him with their tapers. 
 
 Mrs Page. The truth being known, 
 
 We '11 all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit. 
 And mock him home to Windsor. 
 
 Ford. The children must 
 
 Be practised well to this, or they '11 ne'er do 't. 
 
 Evans. I will teach the children their behaviours ; 
 and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the 
 knight with my taber. 
 
 Ford. That will be excellent. I '11 go buy them viz- 70 
 ards. 
 
 Mrs Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies. 
 Finely attired in a robe of white. 
 
 Page. That silk will I go buy. [Aside} And in that 
 time 
 Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away, 
 And marry her at Eton. Go send to Falstaff straight. 
 
 Ford. Nay, I '11 to him again in name of Brook : 
 He '11 tell me all his purpose : sure, he '11 come. 
 104
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. v. 
 
 Mrs Page. Fear not you that. Go get us properties 
 
 And tricking for our fairies. 80 
 
 Evans. Let us about it : it is admirable pleasures and 
 fery honest knaveries. 
 
 [Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans. 
 
 Mrs Page. Go, Mistress Ford. 
 
 Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind. 
 
 [Exit Mrs Ford. 
 I '11 to the doctor : he hath my good will, 
 And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. 
 That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot ; - 
 And he my husband best of all affects. 
 The doctor is well money'd, and his friends 
 Potent at court : he, none but he, shall have her, 90 
 Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 Scene V. 
 
 A room in the Garter Inn. 
 Enter Host and Simple. 
 
 Host. What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick- 
 skin ? speak, breathe, discuss ; brief, short, 
 quick, snap. 
 
 Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Fal- 
 staff from Master Slender. 
 
 Host. There 's his chamber, his house, his castle, his 
 standing-bed, and truckle-bed ; 'tis painted about 
 with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. 
 Go knock and call ; he '11 speak like an Anthro- 
 pophaginian unto thee : knock, I say. 10 
 
 Sim. There 's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up 
 
 105
 
 Act IV. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 into his chamber : I '11 be so bold as stay, sir, 
 till she come down; I come to speak with her, 
 indeed. 
 
 Host. Ha ! a fat woman ! the knight may be robbed : 
 I '11 call. — Bully knight ! bully Sir John ! speak 
 from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is 
 thine host, thine Ephesian, calls. 
 
 Fal. [Above'] How now, mine host! 
 
 Host. Here 's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming 20 
 down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, 
 let her descend; my chambers are honourable: 
 fie! privacy? fie! 
 
 Enter Falstaif. 
 
 Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even 
 
 now with me ; but she 's gone. 
 Sim. Pray you, sir, was 't not the wise woman of 
 
 Brentford ? 
 Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell: what would 
 
 you with her? 
 Sim. My master, sir. Master Slender, sent to her, 30 
 
 seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, 
 
 whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a 
 
 chain, had the chain or no. 
 Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. 
 Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir ? 
 Fal. Marry, she says that the very same man that 
 
 beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened 
 
 him of it. 
 Sim. I would I could have spoken with the woman 
 
 herself ; I had other things to have spoken with 40 
 
 her too from him. 
 
 io6
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. v. 
 
 Fal. What are they ? let us know. 
 
 Host. Ay, come; quick. 
 
 Sim. I may not conceal them, sir. 
 
 Host. Conceal them, or thou diest. 
 
 Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress 
 Anne Page ; to know if it were my master's for- 
 tune to have her or no. 
 
 Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. 
 
 Sim. What, sir 1 50 
 
 Fal. To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told 
 me so. 
 
 Sim. May I be bold to say so, sir ? 
 
 Fal. Ay, sir ; like who more bold. 
 
 Sim. I thank your worship : I shall make my master 
 
 glad with these tidings. [Exit. 
 
 Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. 
 Was there a wise woman with thee ? 
 
 FaL Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath 
 
 taught me more wit than ever I learned before 60 
 in my life ; and I paid nothing for it neither, 
 but was paid for my learning. 
 
 Enter Bardolph. 
 
 Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage! 
 
 Host. Where be my horses ? speak well of them, var- 
 letto. 
 
 Bard. Run away with the cozeners : for so soon as 
 I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from 
 behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and 
 set spurs and away, like three German devils, 
 three Doctor Faustuses. 70 
 
 Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain : 
 
 107
 
 Act IV. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 do not say they be fled; Germans are honest 
 men. 
 
 Enter Sir Hugh Evans. 
 
 Evans. Where is mine host? 
 
 Host. What is the matter, sir ? 
 
 Evans. Have a care of your entertainments : there is 
 a friend of mine come to town, tells me there is 
 three cozen-germans that has cozened all the 
 hosts of Readins, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, 
 of horses and money. I tell you for good will, 80 
 look you : you are wise, and full of gibes and 
 vlouting-stocks, and 'tis not convenient you 
 should be cozened. Fare you well. \^Exit. 
 
 Enter Doctor Caius. 
 
 Cains. Vere is mine host de Jarteer ? 
 
 Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity and doubt- 
 ful dilemma. 
 
 Caius, I cannot tell vat is dat : but it is tell-a me dat 
 you make grand preparation for a duke de Jam- 
 any: by my trot, dere is no duke dat the court 
 is know to come. I tell you for good vill : adieu. 90 
 
 [Exit, 
 
 Host. Hue and cry, villain, go! — Assist me, knight. 
 — I am undone ! — Fly, run, hue and cry, villain ! 
 — I am undone ! [Exeunt Host and Bard. 
 
 Fal. I would all the world might be cozened ; for I 
 have been cozened and beaten too. If it should 
 come to the ear of the court, how I have been 
 transformed, and how my transformation hath 
 been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me 
 out of my fat drop by drop, and liquor fisher- 100 
 
 108
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. v. 
 
 men's boots with me: I warrant they would 
 whip me with their fine wits till I were as crest- 
 fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since 
 I forswore myself at primero. Well, if my wind 
 were but long enough to say my prayers, I would 
 repent. 
 
 Enter Mistress Quickly. 
 
 Now, whence come you ? 
 
 Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. 
 
 Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other ! 
 
 and so they shall be both bestowed. I have suf- no 
 fered more for their sakes, more than the vil- 
 lanous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to 
 bear. 
 
 Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I war- 
 rant ; speciously one of them ; Mistress Ford, 
 good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you 
 cannot see a white spot about her. 
 
 Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue ? I was 
 beaten myself into all the colours of the rain- 
 bow ; and I was like to be apprehended for the 
 witch of Brentford: but that my admirable 120 
 dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of 
 an old woman, delivered me, the knave constable 
 had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, 
 for a witch. 
 
 Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber : 
 you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, 
 to your content. Here is a letter will say 
 somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to 
 bring you together ! Sure, one of you does not 
 serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. 130 
 
 Fal. Come up into my chamber. {Exeunt. 
 
 109
 
 Act IV. Sc, vi. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Scene VL 
 
 The same. Another room in the Garter Inn, 
 
 Enter Fenton and Host. 
 
 Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is 
 heavy : I will give over all. 
 
 Fent. Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose, 
 And, as I am a gentleman, I '11 give thee 
 A hundred pound in gold more than your loss. 
 
 Host. I will hear you. Master Fenton ; and I will at 
 the least keep your counsel. 
 
 Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you 
 With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page ; 
 Who mutually hath answer'd my affection, lo 
 
 So far forth as herself might be her chooser, 
 Even to my wish : I have a letter from her 
 Of such contents as you will wonder at ; 
 The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, 
 That neither singly can be manifested, 
 Without the show of both ; fat Falstaff 
 Hath a great scene: the image of the jest 
 I '11 show you here at large. Hark, good mine host. 
 To-night at Heme's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one. 
 Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen ; 20 
 The purpose why, is here : in which disguise, 
 While other jests are something rank on foot, 
 Her father hath commanded her to slip 
 Away with Slender, and with him at Eton 
 Immediately to marry : she hath consented : 
 Now, sir, 
 Her mother, even strong against that match, 
 
 no
 
 OF WINDSOR Act IV. Sc. vi. 
 
 And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed 
 
 That he shall likewise shuffle her away, 
 
 While other sports are tasking of their minds, 30 
 
 And at the deanery, where a priest attends, 
 
 Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot 
 
 She seemingly obedient likewise hath 
 
 Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests : 
 
 Her father means she shall be all in white ; 
 
 And in that habit, when Slender sees his time, 
 
 To take her by the hand and bid her go, 
 
 She shall go with him : her mother hath intended. 
 
 The better to denote her to the doctor, — 
 
 For they must all be mask'd and vizarded, — 40 
 
 That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed. 
 
 With ribands pendent, flaring 'bout her head ; 
 
 And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe. 
 
 To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token, 
 
 The maid hath given consent to go with him. 
 
 Host. Which means she to deceive, father or mother ? 
 
 Pent. Both, my good host, to go along with me : 
 
 And here it rests, — that you '11 procure the vicar 
 To stay for me at church 'twixt twelve and one, 
 And, in the lawful name of marrying, 50 
 
 To give our hearts united ceremony. 
 
 Host. Well, husband your device ; I '11 to the vicar : 
 Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. 
 
 Pent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee ; 
 
 Besides, I '11 make a present recompense. [Exeunt. 
 
 Ill
 
 Act V. Sc. i. MERRY WIVEvS 
 
 ACT FIFTH. 
 Scene I. 
 
 A room in the Garter Inn. 
 Enter Falstaff and Mistress Quickly. 
 
 Fal. Prithee, no more prattling ; go. I '11 hold. 
 This is the third time ; I hope good luck lies in 
 odd numbers. Away! go. They say there is 
 divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, 
 chance, or death. Away ! 
 
 Quick. I '11 provide you a chain ; and I '11 do what I 
 can to get you a pair of horns. 
 
 Fal. Away, I say ; time wears : hold up your head, 
 
 and mince. [Exit Mrs Quickly. 
 
 Enter Ford. 
 
 How now. Master Brook ! Master Brook, the lo 
 matter will be known to-night, or never. Be 
 you in the Park about midnight, at Heme's oak, 
 and you shall see wonders. 
 
 Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told 
 me you had appointed ? 
 
 Fal. I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like 
 a poor old man: but I came from her. Master 
 Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave ' 
 Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of 
 jealousy in him, Master Brook, that ever gov- 20 
 erned frenzy. I will tell you : — he beat me 
 grievously, in the shape of a woman ; for in the 
 shape of man. Master Brook, I fear not Goliath
 
 OF WINDSOR Act V. Sc. ii. 
 
 with a weaver's beam ; because I know also life 
 is a shuttle. I am in haste ; go along with me : 
 I '11 tell you all, Master Brook. Since I plucked 
 geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew 
 not what 'twas to be beaten till lately. Follow 
 me : I 'U tell you strange things of this knave 
 Ford, on whom to-night I will be revenged, and 30 
 I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow. 
 Strange things in hand. Master Brook. Follow. 
 
 [Exeunt. 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 Windsor Park. 
 Enter Page, Shallozv, and Slender. 
 
 Page. Come, come ; we '11 couch i' the castle-ditch 
 till we see the light of our fairies. Remember, 
 son Slender, my daughter. 
 
 Slen. Ay, forsooth ; I have spoke with her, and we 
 have a nay-word how to know one another: I 
 come to her in white, and cry ' mum' ; she cries 
 ' budget ' ; and by that we know one another. 
 
 Shal. That 's good too : but what needs either your 
 ' mum ' or her ' budget ' ? the white will decipher 
 her well enough. It hath struck ten o'clock. 10 
 
 Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will be- 
 come it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No 
 man means evil but the devil, and we shall know 
 him by his horns. Let 's away ; follow me. 
 
 [Exeunt. 
 
 113
 
 Act V. Sc. iii. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Scene III. 
 
 A street leading to the Park. 
 Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and Doctor Caius, 
 
 Mrs Page. Master Doctor, my daughter is in green : 
 when you see your time, take her by the hand, 
 away with her to the deanery, and dispatch it 
 quickly. Go before into the Park: we two 
 must go together. 
 
 Cains. I know vat I have to do. Adieu. 
 
 Mrs Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit Caius.] My 
 husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse 
 of Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor's marry- 
 ing my daughter: but 'tis no matter, better a lo 
 little chiding than a great deal of heart-break. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Where is Nan now and her troop of fair- 
 ies, and the Welsh devil Hugh ? 
 
 Mrs Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by 
 Herne's oak, with obscured lights ; which, at the 
 very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they 
 will at once display to the night. 
 
 Mrs Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. 
 
 Mrs Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked ; 
 
 if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked. 20 
 
 Mrs Ford. We '11 betray him finely. 
 
 Mrs Page. Against such lewdsters and their lechery 
 Those that betray them do no treachery. 
 
 Mrs Ford. The hour draws on. To the oak, to the 
 
 oak ! [Exeunt. 
 
 114
 
 OF WINDSOR Act V. Sc. iv. v. 
 
 Scene IV. 
 
 Windsor Park. 
 
 Enter Sir Hugh Evans disguised, zvith others as Fairies, 
 
 Evans. Trib, trib, fairies ; come ; and remember 
 your parts : be pold, I pray you ; follow me into 
 the pit ; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I 
 pid you : come, come ; trib, trib. [Exeunt. 
 
 Scene V. 
 
 'Another part of the Park. 
 
 Enter Falstaff disguised as Heme. 
 
 Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve ; the min- 
 ute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist 
 me ! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy 
 Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful 
 love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a 
 man ; in some other, a man a beast. You were 
 also, Jupiter, a swan for the love of Leda. O 
 omnipotent Love! how near the god drew to 
 the complexion of a goose! A fault done first 
 in the form of a beast ; — O Jove, a beastly fault ! lo 
 And then another fault in the semblance of a 
 fowl ; — think on 't, Jove ; a foul fault ! When 
 gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? 
 For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the 
 fattest, I think, i' the forest. Send me a cool 
 
 115
 
 Act V. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my 
 tallow ? — Who comes here ? my doe ? 
 
 Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, 
 
 Mrs Ford. Sir John ! art thou there, my deer ? my 
 male deer ? 
 
 Fal. My doe with the black scut ! Let the sky rain 20 
 potatoes ; let it thunder to the tune of Green 
 Sleeves, hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes ; 
 let there come a tempest of provocation, I will 
 shelter me here. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweet- 
 heart. 
 
 Fal. Divide me like a bribed buck, each a haunch : I 
 will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for 
 the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath 
 your husbands. Am I a woodman, ha? Speak 
 I like Heme the hunter? Why, now is Cupid 30 
 a child of conscience ; he makes restitution. As 
 I am a true spirit, welcome ! {Noise within, 
 
 Mrs Page. Alas, what noise? 
 
 Mrs Ford. Heaven forgive our sins ! 
 
 Fal. What should this be? 
 
 Mrs Ford, ^ . , ._, or 
 
 Mrs Page. J ^^^'^^' ^^^^ ' f ^^'^^' ^^'" 
 
 Fal. I think the devil will not have me damned, lest 
 the oil that 's in me should set hell on fire ; he 
 would never else cross me thus. 
 
 Enter Sir Hugh Evans, disgxiised as before; Pistol, as 
 Hobgoblin; Mistress Quickly, Anne Page, and 
 others, as Fairies, with tapers. 
 
 Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, 40 
 
 You moonshine revellers, and shades of night, 
 
 116
 
 OF WINDSOR Act V. Sc. v. 
 
 You orphan heirs of fixed destiny, 
 Attend your office and your quaHty. 
 Crier HobgobHn, make the fairy oyes. 
 
 Pist Elves, hst your names ; silence, you airy toyes. 
 Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap : 
 Where fires thou find'st unraked and hearths un- 
 
 swept, 
 There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry : 
 Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery. 
 
 Fal. They are fairies ; he that speaks to them shall die : 50 
 I '11 wink and couch : no man their works must eye. 
 
 [Lies down upon his face. 
 
 Evans. Where's Bede? Go you, and where you find a 
 maid 
 That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, 
 Raise up the organs of her fantasy ; 
 Sleep she as sound as careless infancy : 
 But those as sleep and think not on their sins. 
 Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and 
 shins. 
 
 Quick. About, about; 
 
 Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out : 
 
 Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room ; 60 
 
 That it may stand till the perpetual doom, 
 
 In state as wholesome as in state 'tis fit. 
 
 Worthy the owner, and the owner it. 
 
 The several chairs of order look you scour 
 
 With juice of balm and every precious flower: 
 
 Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest, 
 
 With loyal blazon, evermore be blest ! 
 
 And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing. 
 
 Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring : 
 
 Th' expressure that it bears, green let it be, 70 
 
 More fertile-fresh than all the field to see; 
 
 117
 
 Act V. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 And Honi soil qui mal y pense write 
 In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white ; 
 Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery. 
 Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee: 
 Fairies use flowers for their charactery. 
 Away ; disperse : but till 'tis one o'clock, 
 Our dance of custom round about the oak 
 Of Heme the hunter, let us not forget. 
 
 Evans. Pray you, lock hand in hand ; yourselves in order 
 set ; 80 
 
 And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be. 
 To guide our measure round about the tree. 
 But, stay ; I smell a man of middle-earth. 
 
 Fal. Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest 
 he transform me to a piece of cheese ! 
 
 Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'erlook'd even in thy birth. 
 
 Quick. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end : 
 If he be chaste, the flame will back descend, 
 And turn him to no pain ; but if he start. 
 It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. 90 
 
 Pist. A trial, come. 
 
 Evans. Come, will this wood take fire ? 
 
 [They burn him with their tapers. 
 
 Fal. Oh, Oh, Oh! 
 
 Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire ! 
 About him, fairies ; sing a scornful rhyme ; 
 And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. 
 
 Song. 
 
 Fie on sinful fantasy! 
 
 Fie on lust and luxury ! 
 
 Lust is but a bloody fire, 
 
 Kindled with unchaste desire, 100 
 
 118
 
 OF WINDSOR Act V. Sc. v. 
 
 Fed in heart, whose flames aspire, 
 
 As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher. 
 
 Pinch him, fairies, mutually ; 
 
 Pinch him for his villany ; 
 Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, 
 Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out. 
 
 During this song they pinch Falstaff. Doctor Cains conies 
 one way, and steals away a boy in green; Slender 
 another way, and takes off a boy in zvhite; and Fen- 
 ton comes, and steals away Anne Page. A noise of 
 hunting is heard zvithin. All the Fairies run away. 
 Falstaff pulls off his buck's head, and rises. 
 
 Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, and Mistress Ford. 
 
 Page. Nay, do not fly ; I think we have watch'd you > 
 now : 
 Will none but Heme the Hunter serve your turn? 
 
 Mrs Page. I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher. 
 Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives ? 
 See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes iii 
 Become the forest better than the town ? 
 
 Ford. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? Master 
 Brook, Falstaff 's a knave, a cuckoldly knave ; 
 here are his horns, ISIaster Brook : and, Master 
 Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but 
 his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds 
 of money, which must be paid to Master Brook ; 
 his horses are arrested for it, Master Brook. 
 
 Mrs Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck ; we could 120 
 never meet. I will never take you for my love 
 again ; but I will always count you my deer. 
 
 Fal I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass. 
 
 119
 
 Act V. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Ford. Ay, and an ox too : both the proofs are extant. 
 
 Fal. And these are not fairies ? I was three or four 
 times in the thought they were not fairies : and 
 yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden sur- 
 prise of my powers, drove the grossness of the 
 foppery into a received behef, in despite of the 
 teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were 130 
 fairies. See now how wit may be made a Jack- 
 a-Lent, when 'tis upon ill employment! 
 
 Evans. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your 
 desires, and fairies will not pinse you. 
 
 Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh. 
 
 Evans. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray 
 you. 
 
 Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou 
 art able to woo her in good English. 
 
 Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it, 
 
 that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'er- 140 
 reaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh 
 goat too ? shall I have a coxcomb of f rize ? 'Tis 
 time I were choked with a piece of toasted 
 cheese. 
 
 Evans. Seese is not good to give putter ; your pelly 
 is all putter. 
 
 Fal. ' Seese ' and ' putter ' ? Have I lived to stand 
 at the taunt of one that makes fritters of Eng- 
 lish ? This is enough to be the decay of lust and 
 late- walking through the realm. 
 
 Mrs Page. Why, Sir John, do you think, though we 150 
 would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the 
 head and shoulders, and have given ourselves 
 without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could 
 have made you our delight? 
 
 Ford. What, a hodge-pudding ? a bag of flax ? 
 
 120
 
 OF WINDSOR Act V. Sc. v. 
 
 Mrs Page. A puffed man ? 
 
 Page. Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable en- 
 trails ? 
 
 Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan ? 
 
 Page. And as poor as Job? 
 
 Ford. And as wicked as his wife? i6o 
 
 Evans. And given to fornications, and to taverns, 
 and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to 
 drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles 
 and prabbles ! 
 
 Fal. Well, I am your theme : you have the start of 
 me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer 
 the Welsh flannel : ignorance itself is a plummet 
 o'er me : use me as you will. 
 
 Ford. Marry, sir, we '11 bring you to Windsor, to 
 
 one Master Brook, that you have cozened of 170 
 money, to whom you should have been a pandar : 
 over and above that you have suffered, I think 
 to repay that money will be a biting affliction. 
 
 Page. Yet be cheerful, knight : thou shalt eat a posT 
 set to-night at my house ; where I will desire 
 thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at 
 thee : tell her Master Slender hath married her 
 daughter. 
 
 Mrs Page. [Aside] Doctors doubt that: if Anne 
 
 Page be my daughter, she is, by this. Doctor 180 
 Caius' wife. 
 
 Enter Slender. 
 
 Slen. Whoa, ho ! ho, father Page. 
 
 Page. Son, how now ! how now, son ! have you dis- 
 patched ? 
 
 Slen. Dispatched ! I '11 make the best in Gloucester- 
 shire know on 't ; would I were hanged, la, else ! 
 121
 
 Act V. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 Page. Of what, son? 
 
 Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne 
 Page, and she 's a great lubberly boy. If it had 
 not been i' the church, I would have swinged 190 
 him, or he should have swinged me. If I did 
 not think it had been Anne Page, would I might 
 never stir ! — and 'tis a postmaster's boy. 
 
 Page. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. 
 
 Slen. What need you tell me that ? I think so, when 
 I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married 
 to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I 
 would not have had him. 
 
 Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell 
 
 you how you should know my daughter by her 200 
 garments ? 
 
 Slen. I went to her in white, and cried ' mum,' and 
 she cried ' budget,' as Anne and I had appointed ; 
 and yet it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy. 
 
 Mrs Page. Good George, be not angry : I knew of 
 your purpose ; turned my daughter into green ; 
 and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the 
 deanery, and there married. 
 
 Enter Cains. 
 
 Caius. Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am coz- 
 ened : I ha' married un gar^on, a boy ; un pay- 210 
 san, by gar, a boy ; it is not Anne Page : by gar, 
 I am cozened. 
 
 Mrs Page. Why, did you take her in green ? 
 
 Caius. Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy : by gar, I '11 raise 
 
 all Windsor. [Exit. 
 
 Ford. This is strange. Who hath got the right 
 Anne? 
 
 122
 
 OF WINDSOR Act V. Sc. v. 
 
 Page. My heart misgives me : — here comes Master 
 Fenton. 
 
 Enter Fenton and Anne Page, 
 
 How now, Master Fenton ! 
 Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother, par- 
 don ! 220 
 Page. Now, mistress, how chance you went not with 
 
 Master Slender? 
 Mrs Page. Why went you not with master doctor, 
 
 maid? 
 Pent. You do amaze her : hear the truth of it. 
 
 You would have married her most shamefully, 
 
 Where there was no proportion held in love. 
 
 The truth is, she and I, long since contracted. 
 
 Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us. 
 
 The offence is holy that she hath committed ; 
 
 And this deceit loses the name of craft, 230 
 
 Of disobedience, or unduteous title ; 
 
 Since therein she doth evitate and shun 
 
 A thousand irreligious cursed hours. 
 
 Which forced marriage would have brought upon 
 her. 
 Ford. Stand not amazed ; here is no remedy : 
 
 In love the heavens themselves do guide the state ; 
 
 Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. 
 Pal. I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand 
 
 to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced. 240 
 Page. Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy! 
 
 What cannot be eschew'd must be embraced. 
 Pal. When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased. 
 Mrs Page. Well, I will muse no further, blaster Fenton, 
 
 Heaven give you many, many merry days ! 
 
 Good husban(J, let us every one go home.
 
 Act V. Sc. V. MERRY WIVES 
 
 And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire ; 
 Sir John and all. 
 Ford. Let it be so. Sir John, 
 
 To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word ; 250 
 For he to-night shall lie with Mistress Ford. 
 
 [Exeunt. 
 
 124
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Glossary, 
 
 A-birding, bird-catching; III. 
 
 iii. 232. 
 Abstract, inventory; IV. ii. 60. 
 Address, make ready; III. v. 
 
 133. 
 Admittance; " of Venetian ad. 
 = " admitted from Venice " ; 
 III. iii. 58; "of great a." = 
 admitted into the best com- 
 pany; II. ii. 230. 
 
 Adversary, used jestingly for 
 "advocate" by the host; II. 
 iii. 94- 
 
 Affecting, full of affectation; 
 II. i. 145- 
 
 Aggravate his style, i.e. in- 
 crease his title; II. ii. 291. 
 
 Aim, " to cry aim " ; an expres- 
 sion borrowed from archery 
 = to encourage the archers 
 by crying out " aim," hence 
 to encourage, applaud; III. 
 ii. 42. 
 
 All-hallowmas, November i; 
 i.e. about five v^eeks after 
 Michaelmas ; Simple blun- 
 ders in putting it "a fort- 
 night afore Michaelmas " ; 
 I. i. 203. 
 
 Allicholy, Mistress Quickley's 
 corruption of melancholy; I. 
 iv. 158. 
 
 Alligant, Mistress Quickly's 
 error for " elegant " ; II. ii. 69. 
 
 Allowed, approved; II. ii. 232. 
 
 Amaimon, name of a devil 
 whose dominion is on the 
 north part of the infernal 
 gulph; II. ii. 305- 
 
 Amaze, confuse; V. v. 224. 
 
 Angel, a gold coin valued at 
 ten shillings (used quibbling- 
 ly) ; I. iii. 57, 61. 
 
 Anthropophaginian, cannibal ; 
 IV. V. 10. 
 
 Armigero; Slender' s error for 
 "armiger"; his knowledge 
 of Latin is derived from at- 
 testations, e.g. "Corani me, 
 Roberto Shallow, armigero, 
 etc."; I. i. 9- 
 
 Authentic, of acknowledged 
 authority; II. ii. 231. 
 
 Avised, advised, informed ; 
 " are you a. of that " = 
 "have you found it out? " I. 
 iv. 103. 
 
 Bailie, deliver, bring (the Fo- 
 lios read "ballow") ; I. iv. 
 90. 
 
 Banbury cheese, in allusion to 
 Slender's thinness, B. cheese 
 being proverbially thin ; I. i. 
 127. 
 
 Barbason, name of a demon; 
 
 II. ii. 305. 
 Bede, the name of a fairy; V. 
 V. 52. 
 
 125
 
 Glossary 
 
 MERRY WIVES 
 
 Bestow, stow away, lodge; IV. 
 
 ii. 46. 
 Bilbo, V. Latten bilbo. 
 Birding-piece, a gun to shoot 
 
 birds with; IV. ii. 56. 
 
 Breed-bate, one who stirs up 
 " bate," or contention ; I. iv. 
 12. 
 
 Brewage, drink brewed; III. v. 
 32. 
 
 Birding-piece . 
 From a specimen {temp. James I.) preserved at Goodrich Court. 
 
 Bloody Hre, fire in the blood ; 
 V. V. 99. 
 
 Boitier, " a surgeon's case of 
 oyntment " (the Quarto 
 reads "my oyntment"); I. 
 iv. 47- 
 
 Bold-beating, apparently = 
 brow-beating; II. ii. 29. 
 
 Bolt, V. Shaft. 
 
 Book of Riddles, a popular 
 book of the day, referred to 
 as early as 1575; the earliest 
 extant edition bears date 
 1629 : — " The Booke of 
 Merry Riddles, together with 
 proper Questions and Witty 
 Proverbs to make pleasant 
 pastime; no less useful than 
 behove full for any yong man 
 or child to know if he be 
 quick-witted or no"; I. i. 
 201. 
 
 Book of Songs and Sonnets; 
 Slender is perhaps alluding 
 to "Songs and Sonnets writ- 
 ten by the Right Honourable 
 Lord Henry Howard, late 
 Earle of Surrey and others" 
 
 (pub. 1557) ; I. i. 197. 
 
 Buck, used quibblingly with 
 reference to the buck and its 
 horns; III. iii. 160. 
 
 Buck-basket, a basket for 
 clothes which were to be 
 bucked or washed; III. iii. 2. 
 
 Bucking, washing; III. iii. 133. 
 
 Bucklersbury, Cheaps id e, 
 where the druggists and 
 grocers lived; III. iii. 74. 
 
 Buck-washing, laundry; III. 
 iii. 158. 
 
 Bully-rook, dashing fellow; I. 
 iii. 2. 
 
 Bully-stale ; v. Stale. 
 
 Buttons; " 'tis in his buttons " 
 = 'tis within his compass ; 
 he will succeed; perhaps an 
 allusion to the flower called 
 " bachelor's buttons," by 
 means of which the success 
 of love was divined; III. ii. 
 68. 
 
 Cain-coloured beard; Cain was 
 represented in old tapestries 
 with a yellowish beard ; I. iv. 
 23. 
 
 126
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Glossary 
 
 Canaries, probably Mistress 
 Quickly's version of " quan- 
 dary " (pronounced can- 
 dary) ; II. ii. 6i. 
 
 Canary, wine from the Canary 
 Islands, sweet sack; III. ii. 
 86 [with a quibble on "ca- 
 nary " in the sense of a 
 quick, lively dance ; III. ii. 
 88], 
 
 Careires, the curvetting of a 
 horse ; " to passe a careire is 
 but to runne with strength 
 and courage such a conve- 
 nient course as is meete for 
 his ability " ; I. i. 177. 
 
 Carrion, used as a term of 
 contempt; III. iii. 195. 
 
 Carves, makes a sign of fa- 
 vour; I. iii. 46. 
 
 Cashiered, in Bardolph's slang 
 it seems to mean " eased of 
 his cash " ; I. i. 176. 
 
 Castalion, King-Urinal; a non- 
 sensical title which the host 
 gives to Caius ; " Castalion " 
 =: Castilian, with perhaps a 
 quibbling reference to the 
 medical practice of " casting 
 the water " of the patient ; 
 II. iii, 34 {v. Notes). 
 
 Cataian, an inhabitant of Ca- 
 taia or " Cathay " (China) ; 
 a thief, used as term of re- 
 proach ; II. i. 148. 
 
 Cat-a-mountain, wild-cat, leop- 
 ard (used adjectivally) ; II. 
 ii. 28. 
 
 Charactery, characters, wri- 
 ting; V. v. 76. 
 
 Charge, to put to expense; II. 
 ii. 168. 
 
 Chariness, scrupulousness; II. 
 i. 102. 
 
 Charms, love-charms, enchant- 
 ments; II. ii. 106. 
 
 Cheater, escheater, an officer 
 of the Exchequer, employed 
 to exact forfeitures (used 
 quibblingly) ; I. iii. 74. 
 
 Clapper-claw, thrash; II. iii. 
 66 {cp. 67, 69). 
 
 Coat, coat-of-arms ; I. i. 17. 
 
 Cock and pie, a vulgar corrup- 
 tion of " God " and " Pie " 
 (the service-book of the 
 Romish Church) ; I. i. 304. 
 
 Cog, to wheedle; III. iii. 47. 
 
 Cogging, deceiving; III. i. 119. 
 
 Colours, ensigns ; III. iv. 86. 
 
 Come off, to pay handsomely; 
 IV. iii. II. 
 
 Companion, fellow (in a bad 
 sense) ; III. i. 119. 
 
 Cony-catch, to poach, pilfer; I. 
 iii. 34- 
 
 Cony-catching, poaching, pil- 
 fering; I. i. 125. 
 
 Coram; probably due to the 
 formula "jurat coram me," 
 or a corruption of "quorum" 
 ("quorumesse volumus " in 
 a Justice's commission) ; both 
 ^forms "■ corum " and " co- 
 ram " are found as part of 
 the title of "a justice of the 
 peace " ; I. i. 6. 
 
 Cornuto, cuckold; III. v. 68. 
 
 Cotsall, an allusion to the an- 
 nual sports on the Cotswold 
 Hills, Gloucestershire; I. i. 
 91 (v. Notes). 
 
 Couch, crouch; V. ii. i. 
 
 127
 
 Glossary 
 
 MERRY WIVES 
 
 Counter-gate, the entrance to 
 one of the Counter Prisons 
 in London; III. iii. 80. 
 
 Country, district; I. i. 219. 
 
 Cowl-staff, a pole on which a 
 tub or basket is borne be- 
 tween two persons; III. iii. 
 
 149- 
 
 Cozeners, sharpers ( ? play on 
 " Cozen-Germans," cp. IV. v. 
 78) ; IV. V. 66. 
 
 Cuckoo-birds, with allusion to 
 cuckolds; II. i. 128. 
 
 Curtal, having a docked tail ; 
 " a curtal dog " ^ a dog unfit 
 for the chase, or one that has 
 missed the game; II. i. 114. 
 
 Custalorum; Shallow's corrup- 
 tion of " Gustos Rotulo- 
 rum " ; I. i. 7. 
 
 Cut and long tail, any kind of 
 dogs, curtal dogs or long- 
 tailed (hence, come who will 
 to contend with me) ; III. iv. 
 49. 
 
 Dagger; " playing at sword and 
 d." ; a blunt blade used in 
 place of the buckler ; I. i. 284. 
 
 From a black-letter ballad ("A Look- 
 ing-Glasse for Maids, or the Downfall 
 of two desperate Lovers . . .")• 
 
 Datchet-mead, in Windsor; 
 III. iii. 14, etc. 
 
 Daubery, imposture; IV. ii. 177. 
 
 Defy, reject; II. ii. 74. 
 
 Detest; Mistress Quickly's er- 
 ror for " protest " ; I. iv. 154. 
 
 Dickens (exclamatory), the 
 devil ; probably = devilkins ; 
 III. ii. 16. 
 
 Diffused, discordant ; IV. iv. 55. 
 
 Dissolved, and dissolutely; 
 Slender's error for " re- 
 solved, and resolutely"; I. i. 
 251. 
 
 Dole, portion ; " happy man be 
 his d." = " happiness be his 
 portion " ; III. iv. 68. 
 
 Drumble, dawdle; III. iii. 149. 
 
 Eld, old age, used in the sense 
 of " old persons " ; IV. iv. 27- 
 
 Elder; " heart of elder " r= 
 weak, faint-hearted ; the elder 
 has no heart ; used in con- 
 trast to " heart of oak " ; II. 
 iii. 30. 
 
 Ensconce, to shelter under pro- 
 tection of a sconce or fort ; 
 II. ii. 28. 
 
 Ephesian, boon-companion (an 
 allusion perhaps to St. Paul's 
 Epistle to the Ephesians, 
 chap. ii. 10) ; IV. v. 18. 
 
 Erin goes, sea-holly (supposed 
 to possess aphrodisiac qual- 
 ities) ; V. V. 22. 
 
 Esquire, a gentleman next in 
 digree below a knight ; I. i. 4. 
 
 Eyas-musket, young male 
 sparrow-hawk; III. iii. 21. 
 
 128
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Glossary 
 
 Fap, evidently a cant term for 
 " fuddled " ; I. i. 176. 
 
 Fartuous; Mistress Quickly's 
 pronunciation of " virtu- 
 ous " ; II. ii. 99. 
 
 Fault, misfortune; I. i. 04; III. 
 iii. 220. 
 
 Faustuses; " three Doctor F." 
 (cp. " Mephostophilus"); 
 IV. V. 70. 
 
 Fights (a sea-term), the can- 
 vas that hangs round the ship 
 in a fight, to screen the com- 
 batants ; II. ii. 140. 
 
 Fine and recovery, a. term of 
 law denoting absolute owner- 
 ship ; IV. ii. 212. 
 
 Flannel, originally manufac- 
 tured in Wales, hence ludi- 
 crously used for a Welsh- 
 man; V. V. 167. 
 
 Flemish, given to drink like a 
 Fleming ; the Dutch were no- 
 torious drunkards ; II. i. 2^. 
 
 Foin, to thrust in fencing; II. 
 iii. 24. 
 
 Fortune thy foe, an allusion to 
 the old ballad " Fortune my 
 foe "; III. iii. 65. 
 
 Frampold, quarrelsome; II. ii. 
 92. 
 
 French thrift; Falstaff alludes 
 to the practice of making a 
 richly-dressed page take the 
 place of a band of retainers ; 
 I. iii. 90. 
 
 Frise, a. kind of coarse woollen 
 stuff manufactured by Flem- 
 ings in Wales ; V. v. 142. 
 
 Froth, to make a tankard foam; 
 I. iii. 14. 
 
 Fullam, a loaded die (so called 
 from Fulham, where false 
 dice were apparently manu- 
 factured) ; I. iii. 91. 
 
 Gallimaufry, " hotch-potch," 
 used by Pistol for "the whole 
 sex " ; II. i. 119. 
 
 Gar, Dr. Caius' pronunciation 
 of " God " ; I. iv. 1 1 1, etc. 
 
 Geminy, a pair ; II. ii. 8. 
 
 Ging, gang; IV. ii. 118. 
 
 Good-jer, supposed to be a cor- 
 ruption of the French word 
 goujere, the name of a 
 disease ; used as a slight 
 curse ; I. iv. 126. 
 
 Good life, good name ; III. iii. 
 121. 
 
 Gourd, some instrument of 
 false gaming; I. iii. 91. 
 
 Grated upon, irritated, vexed; 
 II. ii. 6. 
 
 Groat, piece of money valued 
 at fourpence; I. i. 151. 
 
 Green Sleeves, an old popular 
 ballad tune, prob. of Henry 
 Vlllth's time, still extant 
 (see next page) ; II. i. 64. 
 
 Hack, (?) "to become cheap 
 and common," perhaps with 
 a play on "hack," to kick; 
 II. i. 52; IV. i. 65. 
 
 Hair; " against the hair," i.e. 
 " against the grain," refers to 
 the stroking of an animal's 
 hair the wrong way; II. iii. 
 41. 
 
 Hang together, to hold to- 
 gether (without altogether 
 collapsing) ; III. ii. 11. 
 
 129
 
 Glossary 
 
 MERRY WIVES 
 
 The Ballad of Green Sleeves. 
 
 A>Ias, my love you do me wrong to cast me off dis-courteously, And 
 
 I have lov-ed you so long, de -lighting in your company, 
 
 Greensleeves was all my joy, 
 
 Greensleeves was my delight. 
 
 :Si»E 
 
 s=. 
 
 =i^ 
 
 
 Greensleeves was my heart of gold, and'who hut my Lady Greensleeves, 
 
 From Naylor's Shakespeare and Music. 
 
 Hawthorn-buds, dandies ; III. 
 iii. 72. 
 
 Hector, cant term for a sharp- 
 er; I. iii. II. 
 
 Herod, represented as a swag- 
 gering tyrant in the old mira- 
 cle plays ; II. i. 20. 
 
 Hick, (?) to fight; Mistress 
 Quickly's interpretation of 
 "hie"; probably something 
 coarse is intended; IV. i. 65. 
 
 High and low, i.e. high and low 
 throws (the former were the 
 numbers 4, 5, 6, the latter i, 
 2, 3) ; I. iii. 93- 
 
 Hinds, servants ; III. v. 96. 
 
 Hodge-pudding, probably some- 
 thing similar to a hodge- 
 podge ; V. V. 155. 
 
 Horn-mad, mad as a wicked 
 bull; I. iv. 51. * 
 
 Humour (ridiculed as a much 
 misused word of fashion; 
 
 particularly used by Nym) ; 
 I. i. 132, 163, 165, etc. 
 Hungarian; (used quibblingly) 
 the Hungarian wars attracted 
 many English volunteers, 
 who subsequently returned 
 to England impoverished; I. 
 iii. 21. (The first and sec- 
 ond Quartos read " Gon- 
 garian.") 
 
 Image, idea, conception; IV. 
 
 vi. 17. 
 Infection, Mistress Quickly's 
 
 error for " affection " ; II. ii. 
 
 118. 
 Intention, intentness ; I. iii. 70. 
 
 lack-a-Lent, a small stuffed 
 puppet thrown at during 
 Lent; III. iii. 25; V. v. 131. 
 
 lay, used metaphorically for a 
 loose woman ; III. iii. 4i- 
 
 130
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Glossary 
 
 Kibe, chilblain ; I. iii. 33. 
 Kissing-comiits, sugar-plums ; 
 V. V. 22. 
 
 Labras, lips; I. i. 160. 
 
 Larded, garnished; IV. vi. 14. 
 
 Latten bilbo, a sword made of 
 latten, a mixed soft metal re- 
 sembling brass ; swords were 
 called " bilbos " from the 
 great reputation of those 
 made at Bilboa in Spain; I. 
 i. 159. 
 
 Laundry, Sir Hugh Evans' er- 
 ror for "launder"; I. ii. 4. 
 
 Leman, lover; IV. ii. 164. 
 
 Lewdsters, libertines ; V. iii. 22. 
 
 Lime, to put lime in sack to 
 make it sparkle ; I. iii. 14. 
 
 Lingered, waited in expecta- 
 tion; III. ii. 55. 
 
 Long- tail, v. " Cut," etc. 
 
 Louses, Sir Hugh Evans' cor- 
 ruption of "luces"; the joke 
 was perhaps derived by- 
 Shakespeare from a story- 
 told of Sir William Wise and 
 Henry VIII. in Holinshed's 
 continuation of the Chron- 
 icles of Ireland, where the 
 play is on " fleur de lice " ; I. 
 i. 19. (See Note.) 
 
 Loves; " of all loves " = by all 
 means, for love's sake; II. ii. 
 117. 
 
 Luces, pikes ; " the dozen white 
 luces," probably an allusion 
 to the armorial bearings of 
 Shakespeare's old enemy. Sir 
 Thomas Lucy; a quartering 
 of the Lucy arms, exhibiting 
 
 the dozen white luces, is to 
 be found in Dugdale's War- 
 zvickshire ; I. i. 16. The ac- 
 companying drawing from 
 Lucy's seal gives 'three 
 luces.' 
 
 Lunes, fits of lunacy ; IV. ii. 20. 
 
 Luxury, wantonness ; V. v. 98. 
 
 Machiavcl, used proverbially 
 for a crafty schemer; III. i. 
 99. 
 
 Make, to make mischief; I. iv. 
 113- 
 
 Marry trap, a phrase of doubt- 
 ful meaning ; " exclamation 
 of insult when a man was 
 caught in his own strata- 
 gem " ; in all probability its 
 real force was " catch me if 
 you can " ; I. i. 164. 
 
 Master of fence, one who had 
 taken a master's degree in 
 the art of fencing; I. i. 285. 
 
 Mechanical, vulgar, vile; II. ii. 
 285. 
 
 131
 
 Glossary 
 
 MERRY WIVES 
 
 Mill-sixpences; " these six- 
 pences, coined in 1561 and 
 1562, were the first milled 
 money in England, used as 
 counters to cast up money " ; 
 I. i. 151. 
 
 Mephostophilus, used by Pis- 
 tol; the name had been made 
 popular in England by Mar- 
 lowe's Faustus; I. i. 129. 
 
 Mefheglins, mead, a fermented 
 dish of honey and water; V. 
 V. 162. 
 
 Mistress, the ordinary title of 
 an unmarried gentlewoman; 
 
 I. i. 48. 
 
 Mince, to walk with affected 
 
 grace ; V. i. 9. 
 Montant, a upright blow or 
 
 thrust in fencing; II. iii. 27. 
 Motions, proposals ; I. i. 214. 
 Mountain-foreigner, used by 
 
 Pistol of Sir Hugh Evans, in 
 
 the sense of " ultramontane," 
 
 barbarous ; I. i. 157. 
 Muscle-shell, applied by Fal- 
 
 staff to Simple because he 
 
 stands with his mouth open; 
 
 IV. V. 28. 
 
 Nay-word, a watch- word, or 
 rather a twin-word agreed 
 upon by two confederates ; 
 
 II. ii. 129. 
 
 Nuthook, contemptuous term 
 for a catchpole; I. i. 165. 
 
 'Od's heartlings, an oath; God's 
 heartling (a diminutive of 
 "heart") ; III. iv. 59. 
 
 'Od's nouns. Mistress Quickly's 
 corruption of " God's 
 wounds " ; IV. i. 24. 
 
 (Eillades, amorous glances; I. 
 iii. 65. 
 
 O'erlooked, bewitched ; V. v. 86. 
 
 'Ork, Sir Hugh's pronunciation 
 of "work"; III. i. 15. 
 
 Ouphes, elves ; IV. iv. 50. 
 
 Oyes, hear ye ! the usual intro- 
 duction to a proclamation; 
 V. V. 44. 
 
 Paid, used quibblingly in sense 
 of " paid out " ; IV. v. 62. 
 
 Parcel, a constituent part ; I. i. 
 230. 
 
 Paring knife; "glover's p. k."; 
 I. iv. 21. 
 
 From a tradesman's token (XVII.Cent.). 
 
 Passant; as a term of heraldry 
 
 = walking, used by Sir Hugh 
 
 Evans ; I. i. 20. 
 Passed, surpassed expression; 
 
 I. i. 299. 
 Passes, goes beyond bounds; 
 
 IV. ii. 122. 
 Pauca, few {i.e. words) ; I. i. 
 
 131 ; "pauca verba" ; I. i. 121. 
 Peaking, sneaking; III. v. 68. 
 Peer out, probably an allusion 
 
 to the children's old rhyme 
 
 calling on a snail to push 
 
 forth its horns ; IV. ii. 24. 
 Peevish, foolish; I. iv. 14. 
 Penny, money in general ; I. i. 
 
 62; (in ordinary sense) II. 
 
 ii. I. 
 
 132
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Glossary 
 
 Elizabethan Silver Penny. 
 
 Pensioners, the bodyguard of 
 Henry VIII. and Queen 
 Elizabeth were so called; II. 
 ii. 79. 
 
 Period, conclusion; IV. ii. 222. 
 
 Pheczar; evidently formed 
 from the verb "to pheeze," 
 i.e. " to hurry on, to worry " ; 
 I. iii. 10. 
 
 Phlegmatic, misapplied by Mis- 
 tress Quickly ; I. iv. 78. 
 
 Phrygian, possibly in the sense 
 of "Trojan," used as a cant 
 term for a person of doubt- 
 ful character; I. iii. 95. 
 
 Pickt-hatch, a quarter of Lon- 
 don notorious as the resort 
 of bad characters ; XL ii. 20. 
 
 Pinnace, used metaphorically 
 for a go-between ; I. iii. 86. 
 
 Pipe-wine, wine not from the 
 bottle but from the pipe or 
 cask, with a play on " pipe " 
 in the sense of instrument to 
 which people danced; III. ii. 
 
 87. 
 
 Pittie-ward, (?) "towards the 
 Petty, or little Park"; III. 
 i. 5- 
 
 Plummet; " ignorance is a p. 
 o'er me " ; Falstaff evident- 
 ly represents himself as the 
 carpenter's work, and Evans 
 as the lead of the plummet 
 held over him ; V. v. 167. 
 
 Polecat, used as a term of re- 
 proach, (the polecat emits a 
 disgusting smell) ; IV. ii. 185. 
 
 Possibilities, prospects of in- 
 heritance; used also in the 
 sense of " possession," which 
 may be the meaning here ; I. 
 i.65. 
 
 Pottle, a large tankard, origin- 
 ally a measure of two quarts ; 
 III. V. 28. 
 
 Prat, a verb formed evidently 
 by Ford from Mother Prat's 
 name; IV. ii. 184. 
 
 Preeches, breached for flog- 
 ging; IV. i. 78. 
 
 Presently, immediately ; III. iii. 
 90. 
 
 Pribbles and Prabbles, petty 
 wrangling s, tittle-tattles 
 (used by Sir Hugh Evans) ; 
 I. i. 56. 
 
 Primero, a game of cards : IV* 
 V. 104. 
 
 Properties, used technically foi 
 the necessaries of the stage, 
 exclusive of the scenery and 
 dresses ; IV. iv. 79. 
 
 .Property, a thing wanted for 
 a particular purpose, a tool 
 (to get out of debt) ; III. iv. 
 II. 
 
 Puddings, the intestines of ani- 
 mals were so called {cp. 
 "Pudding Lane") ; II. i. 32. 
 
 Pumpion, a kind of pumpkin; 
 III. iii. 40. 
 
 Punk, strumpet; II. ii. I39- 
 
 Punto, a thrust or stroke in 
 fencing; II. iii. 26. 
 
 133
 
 Glossary 
 
 MERRY WIVES 
 
 Quarter (used quibbllngly) ; I, 
 
 i. 24, 26, 28. 
 Quean, a slut; IV. ii. 171. 
 
 Rank, mature; IV. vi. 22. 
 
 Rato-lorum; Slender's corrup- 
 tion of (Gustos) " Rotulo- 
 rum " ; 1. i. 8. 
 
 Red-lattice phrases = ale-house 
 language; a lattice window 
 often painted red was the 
 customary distinction of an 
 ale-house ; II. ii. 29. 
 
 From a token ( Green Lattice in Cock 
 Lane) of the XVII. Cent. 
 
 Relent, repent; II. ii. 2,^. 
 Ring-wood, a common name for 
 
 a dog; II. i. 122. 
 Ronyon, a mangy creature ; IV. 
 
 ii. 186. 
 
 Sackerson, a famous bear, 
 which was baited at the 
 Paris Garden, in Southwark 
 said to have belonged to 
 Henslow & Alleyn ; I. i. 296 
 Sadness, seriousness ; IV. ii. 90 
 Sauce, "to pepper"; IV. iii. 11, 
 Scall, scurvy; III. i. 119. 
 Scut, tail of a hare or rabbit 
 
 V. V. 20. 
 Sea-coal fire, a fire made of 
 coals brought by sea, a nov- 
 elty at a time when wood was 
 generally burnt ; I. iv. 9. 
 
 Season, fit time (used probably 
 technically for the time when 
 the stags were at their best) ; 
 III. iii. 162. 
 
 Secure, careless ; II. i. 237. 
 
 Seeming, specious; III. ii. 39. 
 
 Semi-circled farthingale, a pet- 
 ticoat, the hoop of which did 
 not come round in front ; 
 III. iii. 64. 
 
 Shaft; "to make a shaft or 
 bolt on 't " = to do a thing 
 either one way or another ; 
 a shaft = a sharp arrow ; a 
 bolt, a thick, short one with 
 a knob at the end; III. iv. 
 26. 
 
 c== 
 
 Shent, reviled, punished; I. iv. 
 
 38. 
 Ship-tire, a peculiar head-dress, 
 
 resembling a ship's tackle; 
 
 III. iii. 57. 
 
 From Fabri's " Habite Varie " (1593). 
 
 134
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Glossary 
 
 Shovel-hoards, broad shillings 
 of Edward VI. used for the 
 game of shove or shovel- 
 board; I. i. 152. 
 
 Shovel-board, long preserved at the 
 Falcon Inn. 
 
 Sprag = sprack, i.e. quick ; IV. 
 i. 82. 
 
 Speciously, a Quicklyism for 
 specially (?); III. iv. 116; 
 IV. V. 114. 
 
 Staggering, wavering; III. iii. 
 II. 
 
 Stale, the urine of horses, ap- 
 plied by the host to Dr. 
 Caius; II. iii. 31. 
 
 Edward Shovel-boards. 
 
 Simple, medicinal herb; III. iii. 
 
 74. 
 
 Sir; the inferior clergy, as well 
 as knights or baronets, for- 
 merly received this title, be- 
 ing the old equivalent of the 
 academic Do minus (when 
 applied to Bachelors of Arts 
 at the Universities it was 
 usually attached to the sur- 
 name and not to the Chris- 
 tian name) ; hence " Sir " 
 Hugh Evans ; I. i. i. 
 
 Slack, neglect; III. iv. 118. 
 
 Slice, applied by Nym to Slen- 
 der; I. i. 131. 
 
 Slighted, tossed ; III. v. 9. 
 
 Something, somewhat : IV. vi. 
 22. 
 
 Stamps, impressed coins ; III. 
 iv. 17. 
 
 Star-chamber; this Court 
 among its other functions 
 took cognisance of " routs 
 and riots " ; I. i. i. 
 
 Stoccadoes, thrusts in fencing; 
 II. i. 230. 
 
 Stock, thrust in fencing; II. iii. 
 26. 
 
 Strain, disposition; II. 1. 91. 
 
 Sufferance, sufferings; IV. ii. 2. 
 
 Swinged, belaboured ; V. v. 190. 
 
 SzK:ord and dagger (see Dag- 
 ger). 
 
 Takes, strikes with disease; 
 
 IV. iv. 2>2>. 
 Taking, fright; III. iii. 182, 
 
 135
 
 Glossary 
 
 MERRY WIVES 
 
 Tall, sturdy, powerful ; " tall of 
 
 his hands " ; I. iv. 26. 
 Tester, sixpence ; I. iii. 94. 
 Thrummed, made of coarse, 
 
 woollen yarn ; thrum, the 
 
 loose end of a weaver's warp ; 
 
 IV. ii. 77- 
 
 T/irummed hat and 77zt{ffler. 
 From Speed's Map of Engiand. 
 
 Tightly, promptly; I. iii. 85. 
 Tire, head-dress ; III. iii. 58. 
 Tire-valiant, a fanciful head- 
 dress; III. iii. 57. 
 
 From an engraving of a noble 
 Venetian lady (1605). 
 
 Tricking, costumes ; IV. iv. 80. 
 
 Trot, Caius' pronunciation of 
 " troth " ; IV. v. 89. 
 
 Trow, used by Mistress Quick- 
 ly in the sense of " I won- 
 der "; I. iv. 136. 
 
 Truckle-hed, a small bed, run- 
 ning on castors, which was 
 thrust under the standing- 
 bed during the daytime ; IV. 
 V. 7. 
 
 Standing and truckle-bed. 
 
 From an illuminated MS. of XV. Cent. 
 
 (The figures represent a nobleman 
 
 and his valet.) 
 
 Uncape, to unearth a fox; III. 
 iii. 169. 
 
 Unraked; " fires unr." =: fires 
 not raked together, not cov- 
 ered with fuel so that they 
 might be found alight in the 
 morning ; V. v. 47 
 
 Unweighcd, inconsiderate; II. 
 
 i- ^^- ^ 
 
 Urchins, imps, goblins ; IV. iv. 
 50. 
 
 Venev, a bout at fencing; 1. i. 
 285'. 
 
 Visements = advisements or 
 considerations ; I. i. 39. 
 
 Vlonting-stog, i.e. laughing- 
 stock; III. i. 116. 
 
 Wag, pack off; II. i. 234. 
 Ward, posture of defence; II, 
 ii- 253- 
 
 136
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Glossary 
 
 Watched, tamed as a hawk is 
 broken in by being kept 
 awake; V. v. 107. 
 
 Whiting-time, bleaching time; 
 III. iii. 133- 
 
 Whitsters, bleachers of linen; 
 III. iii. 13. 
 
 Wide of, far from, indifferent 
 to ; III. i. 57. 
 
 With, by; III. v. 108. 
 
 Wittolly, cuckoldly; II. ii. 278. 
 
 Woodman, a hunter of forbid- 
 den game, and also a pursuer 
 of women; V. v. 29. 
 
 Worts, roots (used quibblingly 
 with reference to Sir Hugh's 
 pronunciation of "words"); 
 I. i. 121. 
 
 Wrong; "you do yourself 
 mighty wrong " = you are 
 much mistaken ; III. iii. 209. 
 
 Wrongs; " this wrongs you," 
 this is unworthy of you; IV. 
 ii. 154- 
 
 Yead, an old abbreviation of 
 
 " Edward "; I. i. 153. 
 Yellowness, the colour of 
 
 jealousy; I. ii. 109. 
 
 137
 
 MERRY WIVES 
 
 Critical Notes, 
 
 BY ISRAEL GOLLANCZ. 
 
 I. i. 22. ' The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.' 
 No satisfactory explanation of this passage has as yet been 
 offered ; various suggestions have been made, e.g. ' salt-fish ' = 
 the hake borne by the stockfishmongers ; * same ' for ' salt ' ; 
 
 * 'tis ott fish in ' (as- 
 signed to Evans), 
 etc. May not, how- 
 ever, the whole point 
 of the matter lie in 
 Shallow's use of 
 
 * salt ' in the sense 
 of ' saltant,' the her- 
 aldic term, used 
 especially for ver- 
 min? If so 'salt- 
 fish ' = ' the leaping- 
 louse,' with a quib- 
 ble on ' salt ' as op- 
 posed to ' fresh fish.' 
 There is further al- 
 lusion to the prover- 
 bial predilection of 
 vermin for ' old 
 coats,' used quib- 
 blingly in the sense 
 of ' coat-of-arms.' 
 The following pas- 
 sage from Holins- 
 hed's continuation 
 of the chronicles of 
 Ireland (quoted by 
 Rushton), seems to 
 
 From the Annalia Dubrensia (16^6), a collection of 
 poems laudatory of the Cotswold Games and their 
 patron, Robert Dover. 
 
 bear out this explanation 
 
 Having lent the king his signet to 
 138
 
 OF WINDSOR Notes 
 
 seal a letter, who having powdered eriniits ingrailed in the seal; 
 why how now Wise (quoth the King), what hast thou lice here? 
 And if it like your Majesty, quoth Sir William, a louse is a rich 
 coat, for by giving the louse I part arms with the French King in 
 that he giveth the flower de lice, whereat the king heartily 
 laughed," etc. 
 
 I. i. 46. 'George Page.' Ff. Q.,. 'Thomas Page,' retained by 
 Camb. Ed. though Master Page is elsewhere called ' George ' ; 
 " the mistake may have been Shakespeare's own," or ' Geo.' may 
 have been misread as ' Tho.' 
 
 1. i. 91. 'outrun on Cotsall' i.e. on the Cotswold hills (in 
 Gloucestershire) ; probably an allusion to the famous Cotswold 
 Games, which were revived by Captain Robert Dover at the be- 
 ginning of the seventeenth century, though evidently instituted 
 earlier; the allusion does not occur in the first and second 
 Quartos. 
 
 I. i. 171. 'Scarlet and John'; Robin Hood's boon-companions;' 
 an allusion to Bardolph's r^d face. 
 
 I. iii. 28. 'a minute's rest'; a minim's rest" is the ingenious 
 suggestion of Bennet Langton ; cp. Romeo and Juliet, II. iv. 22, 
 " rests me his minim rest." 
 
 I. iii. 46. ' carves ' ; probably used here in the sense of ' to show 
 favour by expressive gestures ' ; cp. " A carver : chironomus . . , 
 one that useth apish motions with his hands." — Littleton's Latin- 
 English Dictionary (1675). 
 
 I. iii. 51. 'Studied her will'; so Qq 1-2: Ff, 'will' retained by 
 Camb. Ed. 
 
 I. iii. y2)' ' region of Guiana.' Sir Walter Raleigh returned 
 from his expedition to So. America in 1596, and published his 
 book * The Discovery of the large, rich, and beautiful Empire of 
 Guiana ' in the same year. 
 
 I. iii. 99. 'By welkin and her star.' This is no doubt the cor- 
 rect reading of the line, and there is no need to read stars, as has 
 been suggested ; ' star ' is obviously used here for ' the sun ' ; the 
 Quartos read ' fairies.' 
 
 I. ii. 109. ' the revolt of mine' i.e. my revolt : Camb. Ed. sug- 
 gest in Note ' mine anger,' but no change seems necessary. 
 
 II. i. 5. ' though Love use Reason for Jiis physician.' The Fo- 
 lios read ' precisian ' ; the emendation adopted in the text was first 
 suggested by Theobald, and has been generally accepted; cp. 
 Sonnet cxlvii : " My reason the physician to my love." 
 
 II. i. 220, 223. In the folios the name ' Broome ' is given instead 
 
 139
 
 Notes MERRY WIVES 
 
 of ' Brooke ' ; but Falstaff's pun, " Such Brooks are welcome to 
 me, that overflow with liquor," removes all doubt as to the correct 
 reading, which is actually found in the Quartos. 
 
 11. i. 224. ' IVill you go, min-heers?' The Folios and Quartos, 
 ^ An-hcires' retained by Camb. Ed.; Theobald, 'mynheers.' Other 
 suggestions are " on, here " ; " on, hearts " ; " on, heroes " ; " cava- 
 leires," etc. In support of change, cp. ' mine host ' in reply. 
 II. ii. 155. ' O'erhows,' so F1F2; Camb. Ed., * o'erflow.' 
 II. iii. 34. ' Castalion, King-Urinal': Ff. * castalion-king- 
 Vrinall,' retained by Camb. Ed. but the first hyphen is prob. an 
 error for comma — a fairly common mistake in this particular 
 play, cp. nightly-meadow-fairies, V. v. 68, etc. 
 
 II. iii. 88. ' Cried I aimf The Folios and Quartos read " cried 
 game "; the ingenious emendation, due to Douce, was first adopted 
 by Dyce. 
 
 III. i. 17, etc. Sir Hugh oddly confuses Marlowe's famous 
 ditty, ' Come live with me and be my love,' and the old version of 
 the 137th Psalm, ' When we did sit in Babylon.' 
 
 III. i. 95. ' Gallia and Gaul' ; so the Folios; the first and second 
 Quartos read " Gawle and Gawlia;" Farmer's conjecture " Gual- 
 lia and Gaul " was adopted by Malone and other editors. Gallia 
 = Wales. 
 
 III. ii. y:^. 'he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes' (which are 
 now as it were unravelled). 
 
 III. iii. 42. 'Have I caught thee'; probably the reading of the 
 Quarto which omits * thee ' is the more correct ; Falstaff quotes 
 from the second song in Sydney's Astrophel and Stella : — 
 
 "Have I caught my heav'nly jewell, 
 Teaching sleep most faire to be? 
 Now will I teach her that she 
 When she wakes is too-too cruell." 
 
 III. iii. 65, 66. 'Fortune thy foe were not, Nature thy friend,' so 
 F2 Fa F4 ; " foe, were not Nature," Fi Qs : perhaps better, ' foe 
 were not. Nature is thy friend ' ; so Capell. 
 
 III. v. 4. The reading of the Quartos is seemingly preferable : — 
 "Have I lived to be carried in a basket, and thrown into the 
 Thames like a barrow of butcher's offal." 
 
 III. V. 9. 'The rogues slighted me into the river' i.e. "Threw 
 me in contemptuously " ; the Quartos read " slided me in." 
 
 IV. i. 49. 'Hang-hog is Latin for bacon'; probably suggested 
 by the famous story told of Sir Nicholas Bacon. A prisoner 
 
 140
 
 OF WINDSOR Notes 
 
 named Hog, who had been condemned to death, prayed for mercy 
 on the score of kindred. "Ay but," replied the judge, "you and 
 I cannot be of kindred unless you are hanged; for Hog is not 
 Bacon till it be well hanged" (Bacon's Apophthegms). 
 
 IV. ii. 20. ' old lunes ' ; the Folios and third Quarto read ' lines ; 
 the first and second Quartos ' vaine ' ; the correction is Theo- 
 bald's ; the same error occurs in Troilus and Cressida, II. iii. 139. 
 
 IV. ii. 97. ' the witch of Brentford ' ; an actual personage of 
 the sixteenth century. A tract is extant entitled " Jyl of Breynt- 
 ford's Testament," whence it appears that the witch kept a tavern 
 at Brentford ; in Dekker & Webster's Westward Ho the following 
 allusion is found:— "I doubt that old hag Gillian of Brainford 
 has bewitched me." 
 
 IV. ii. 185. ' rag/ so Fi F2 ; F3 F* ' hag,' adopted by Camb. Ed. 
 
 IV. iv. 43. ' That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.' After 
 this line the following words from the Quartos have been added 
 in many editions : — 
 
 " We '11 send him word to meet us in the field, 
 Disguised like Home with huge horns on his head.'' 
 
 IV. iv. 58. ' to pinch ' probably the correct reading should be 
 * to-pinch,' where * to ' is the intensitive prefix so common in old 
 English, though it is possible to explain it as the ordinary infini- 
 tive prefix, omitted in the case of the former verb in the sentence. 
 
 IV. iv. 84. 'Send quickly to Sir John' Theobald ingeniously 
 suggested " Quickly " for " quickly." 
 
 IV. V. 78. ' cozen-germans' the first Quarto reads: — 
 
 " For there is three sorts of cosen garmombles, 
 Is cosen all the Host of Maidenhead and Readings," 
 
 where ' garmombles ' is very possibly a perversion of Mompel- 
 gard; Count Frederick of Mompelgard visited Windsor in 1592; 
 free post-horses were granted him by a passport of Lord Howard. 
 The Count became a " Duke of Jamany " (Wirtemberg) in 
 1593; considerable interest must have been taken in the Duke 
 about 1598. A letter to the Queen, dated August 14, 1598, is ex- 
 tant, in which the following passage occurs : — " I have heard with 
 extreme regret that some of my enemies endeavour to calumniate 
 me and prejudice your majesty against me. I have given them 
 no occasion for this. I hope that when your majesty has dis- 
 covered this report to be false, you will have greater reason to 
 continue your affection towards me, and give neither faith nor 
 
 141
 
 Notes MERRY WIVES 
 
 credit to such vipers." In the year 1602 appeared " An Account 
 of the Duke's Bathing Excursion to the far-famed Kingdom of 
 England " (vide Rye's England as seen by Foreigners) . 
 
 V. V. 26. ' bribed buck,' so the Folios ; Theobald, " bribe bank," 
 adopted by Camb. Ed. : ' a bribed buck ' was a buck cut up into 
 portions (Old French bribes ^^ 'portions of meat to be given 
 away '). 
 
 V. V. 42. 'orphan heirs.' Theobald suggested " ouphen " (elv- 
 ish) for " orphan," and he has been followed by many editors, 
 but the change is unnecessary. Cp. " unfather'd heirs," II. 
 Henry IV., IV. iv. 122. 
 
 V. V. 45, 47. ' toyes ' : Ff. Camb. Ed., toys, evidently to be read 
 " toyes," rhyming with " oyes " in the previous line ; similarly 
 " unswept " should probably be " unswep," suggesting rhyme with 
 " leap." 
 
 V. y. 94-96. Cp. Song of the Fairies in Lyly's Endymion. 
 
 V. V. III. 'these fair yokes'; the first Folio reads " yoakes," 
 the second " okes." " Yokes " must refer to the resemblance of 
 the buck's horns to a yoke ; a sort of sense can be got out of 
 'oaks,' the antlers resembling the branches of oaks, but the first 
 Folio reading seems preferable. 
 
 142
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Explanatory Notes. 
 
 The Explanatory Notes in this edition have been specially selected and 
 adapted, with emendations after the latest and best authorities, from the 
 most eminent Shakespearian scholars and commentators, including Johnson, 
 Malone, Steevens, Singer, Dyce, Hudson, White, Furness, Dowden, and 
 others. This method, here introduced for the first time, provides the best 
 annotation of Shakespeare ever embraced in a single edition. 
 
 ACT FIRST. 
 Scene I. 
 
 13. three hundred years : — Shallow here identifies himself with 
 "all his successors gone before him"; an aristocratic way of 
 speaking once common in England. Washington Allston was 
 once the guest of an English nobleman who, though Shallow in 
 nothing else, said he came over with William the Conqueror. We 
 are indebted to Verplanck for this anecdote. 
 
 28, 29. quarter of your coat : — To quarter meant, in heraldic 
 language, to have armorial bearings as an appendage to hereditary 
 arms ; as a man, by marrying, may add his wife's titles, if she 
 have any, to his own. Sir Hugh, who must still be talking, mis- 
 takes the quartering of heralary for the cutting of a thing into 
 four parts. 
 
 49. To speak small means much the same as what old Lear so 
 touchingly says over his dying Cordelia : " Her voice was ever 
 soft, gentle, and low, an excellent thing in woman." 
 
 114. But not kissed your keeper's daughter f — Scott in Kenil- 
 zuorth suggests that this was part of the charge made against the 
 Poet by Sir Thomas Lucy. 
 
 118 et seq. Council and counsel, just below, are probably a 
 quibble, the one meaning the Star-Chamber, the other being used 
 in the sense of secresy. 
 
 204. Michaelmas : — This is probably a blunder on Simple's part 
 for Martlemas, according to Hudson. Theobald substituted Mar- 
 tlemas, " not believing that any blunder was intended." 
 
 143
 
 Notes MERRY WIVES 
 
 304. cock and pie: — This phrase occurs in several old plays, 
 and once again in Shakespeare, 2 Henry IV., V. i. i ; but its origin 
 and import have not been satisfactorily explained. The most 
 likely account seems to be, that it was a humorous oath, the Cock 
 and Magpie, having been, it seems, an ancient and favourite ale- 
 house sign. Some think, however, that cock was a corruption of 
 the sacred name, and that pie referred to the table in the Roman 
 service-book showing the service for the day. 
 
 Scene III. 
 
 9. Keisar is an old form of Cccsar, the general term for an em- 
 peror ; Kings and Keisars being a common phrase. 
 
 Scene IV. 
 
 5. Old is here intensive, much the same as huge; a common 
 use of the word in the Poet's time. Thus we have old coil in 
 Much Ado About Nothing. 
 
 8. we'll have a posset: — A posset, according to Randle Holme, 
 in his Academy of Armourie, 1688, is " hot milk poured on ale 
 or sack, having sugar, grated bisket, and eggs, with other in- 
 gredients, boiled in it, which goes all to a curd." 
 
 8, 9. soon at night: — Hudson states that soon at is a phrase 
 occurring repeatedly in Shakespeare ; as " soon at five o'clock," 
 and " soon at supper-time," where it means about, or something 
 akin to that word. 
 
 28. ivarrener : — The keeper of a warren. 
 
 165, 166. the next time we have confidence : — Hudson is of 
 opinion that confidence is a " Quicklyism for conference." 
 
 ACT SECOND. 
 Scene I. 
 
 52. These knights will hack: — This is probably a covert reflec- 
 tion upon the prodigal distribution of the honour of knighthood 
 by King James. " These knights will soon become so hackneyed 
 that your honour will not be increased by becoming one." 
 
 144
 
 OF WINDSOR Notes 
 
 54. We burn daylight: — A proverbial phrase, derived from 
 burning lamps by daylight : " We waste time." 
 
 121. With liver burning hot: — Love, as the ancients understood 
 that passion, was supposed to establish itself in the liver. 
 
 122. Like Sir Actceon he: — Actccon, in classical mythology, was 
 a renowned hunter. He offended Artemis (Diana) by concealing 
 himself near a stream in which she was bathing — thus obtaining 
 stolen glimpses of her. The offended goddess transformed Ac- 
 tseon into a stag and his dogs tore him to pieces. 
 
 129. Believe it, Page; he speaks sense : — " Pistol," says Hud- 
 son, "knew beforehand what Nym was to tell Page; and now, 
 as he infers from their talking so long that Page is incredulous, 
 he speaks this to confirm Nym's tale, and thereby cut short the 
 interview." 
 
 199, 200. Good even and twenty: — According to Staunton, "an 
 old popular salutation, meaning twenty good evenings." 
 
 232. with my long sword: — Before the introduction of rapiers 
 the swords in use were of enormous length and sometimes used 
 with both hands. Shallow censures the innovation, and ridicules 
 the terms and use of the rapier. 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 7. your coach-fellow Nym : — That is, he who draws along with 
 you, who is joined with you. 
 
 II, 12. Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan: — Fans were 
 costly appendages of female dress in Shakespeare's time. They 
 consisted of ostrich and other feathers, fixed into handles, some 
 of which were made of gold, silver, or ivory of curious workman- 
 ship. Thus in Marlowe's Hero and Leander: — 
 
 " Her painted fan of curled plumes let fall." 
 
 19. short knife and a throng! — That is, go and cut purses in a 
 crowd. Purses were then worn hanging at the girdle. 
 
 78, 79. nay, which is more, pensioners : — That is, gentlemen of 
 the band of Pensioners. Their dress was remarkably splendid, 
 and therefore likely to attract Mrs. Quickly. Hence Shakespeare, 
 in A Midsummer-Night's Dream, has selected the golden-coated 
 cowslips to be pensioners to the Fairy Queen. 
 
 150, 151. sent your worship a morning's draught of sack : — It 
 seems to have been a common custom in taverns, in Shakespeare's 
 
 145
 
 Notes MERRY WIVES 
 
 time, to send presents of wine from one room to another either 
 as a memorial of friendship, or by way of introduction to ac- 
 quaintance. In the Parliamentary History, we have the following 
 passage from The Life of General Monk, by Dr. Price: "I came 
 to the Three Tuns, before Guildhall, where the general had quar- 
 tered two nights before. I entered the tavern with a servant and 
 portmanteau, and asked for a room, which I had scarce got into 
 but wine follozved me as a present from some citizens desiring 
 leave to drink their morning's draught with me." 
 
 157. Via, an Italian word, which Florio explains : " An adverb 
 of encouragement, on away, go to, away forward, go on, dispatch." 
 
 192. Sith: — Since. 
 
 291, 292. / will aggravate his style : — That is, / will add more 
 titles to those he already has. The term style was used in her- 
 aldry. Thus in Heywood's Golden Age : " I will create lords of a 
 greater style " ; and in Spenser's Faerie Queene : — 
 
 " As to abandon that which doth contain 
 Your honour's style, that is, your warlike shield." 
 
 304, 305. Amaimon sounds well, etc. : — Reginald Scott, in his 
 Discovery of Witchcraft, may be consulted concerning these 
 demons, as may also Randle Holme, in his Academy of Armourie. 
 
 312. aqua-vitcB: — Reed states that Dericke, in The Image of 
 Ireland, 1581, refers to uskebeaghe (or usquebaugh, the same 
 word as the modern whiskey), and in a note explains it to mean 
 aqua-vit(e. 
 
 Scene III. 
 
 59. Mock-water: — Probably some allusion to the doctor's med- 
 ical practice. The meaning remains obscure. 
 
 ACT THIRD. 
 Scene I. 
 
 17 et seq. To shallozu rivers, to whose falls, etc. : — The charm- 
 ing pastoral upon which this burlesque is formed, is thus referred 
 to by Izaak Walton : " 'Twas a handsome Milk-maid, that had not 
 yet attained so much age and wisdom as to load her mind with 
 any fears of many things that will never be; but she cast away 
 
 146 
 
 I
 
 OF WINDSOR Notes 
 
 all care, and sung like a nightingale : her voice was good, and the 
 ditty fitted for it; 'twas that smoothe song which was made by- 
 Kit Marlowe, now at least fifty years ago." Walton next men- 
 tions " an answer to it, which was made by Sir Walter Raleigh 
 in his younger days." The humour of these musical snatches, 
 broken and disordered as they are by the anger and fear of the 
 pugnacious parson, is most rare and exquisite. The poem by 
 Marlowe, entitled The Passionate Shepherd to His Love, is as 
 follows : — 
 
 " Come live with me, and be my love, 
 
 And we will all the pleasures prove 
 
 That hills and valleys, dale and field, 
 
 And all the craggy mountains yield. 
 
 There will we sit upon the rocks, 
 
 And see the shepherds feed their flocks, 
 
 By shallow rivers, by whose falls 
 
 Melodious birds sing madrigals : 
 
 There will I make thee beds of roses. 
 
 With a thousand fragrant posies, 
 
 A cap of flowers, and a kirtle 
 
 Embroider'd all with leaves of myrtle; 
 
 A gown made of the finest wool. 
 
 Which from our pretty lambs we pull : 
 
 Fair lined slippers for the cold, 
 
 With buckles of the purest gold; 
 
 A belt of straw, and ivy buds, 
 
 With coral clasps, and amber studs : 
 
 And if these pleasures may thee move. 
 
 Come live with me, and be my love. 
 
 Thy silver dishes for thy meat, 
 
 As precious as the gods do eat, 
 
 Shall on an ivory table be 
 
 Prepar'd each day for thee and me. 
 
 The shepherd swains shall dance and sing, 
 
 For thy delight each May morning; 
 
 If these delights thy mind may move. 
 
 Then live with me, and be my love." 
 
 This poem is seldom seen without its companion piece, already 
 referred to, and entitled The Nymph's Reply : — 
 
 " If all the world and love were young, 
 And truth in every shepherd's tongue, 
 
 147
 
 Notes MERRY WIVES 
 
 These pretty pleasures might me move 
 To live with thee, and be thy love. 
 But time drives flocks from field to fold 
 When rivers rage, and rocks grow cold, 
 Then Philomel becometh dumb, 
 And age complains of cares to come. 
 The flowers do fade, and wanton fields 
 To wayward winter reckoning yields; 
 A honey tongue, a heart of gall. 
 Is fancy's spring, but sorrow's fall. 
 Thy gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of roses. 
 Thy cap, thy kirtle, and thy posies. 
 Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten, 
 In folly ripe, in reason rotten. 
 Thy belt of straw and ivy-buds. 
 Thy coral clasps and amber studs. 
 All these in me no means can move 
 To come to thee, and be thy love. 
 But could 3'outh last and love still breed, 
 Had joys no date, nor age no need. 
 Then these delights my mind might move 
 To live with thee, and be thy love." 
 
 24. Whenas I sat in Pabylon: — The old version of the 137th 
 Psalm, which was drawn upon here, runs : — 
 
 "Whenas wee sate in Babylon, 
 The rivers round about, 
 And in remembrance of Sion 
 The teares for griefe burst out." 
 
 114,115. you make-a de sot of us: — "Sot," says Hudson, 
 " was much used in its French sense of fool." 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 30,31. twenty mile . . . twelve score: — The use of the singu- 
 lar for the plural, especially in statements of time and distance, 
 was not uncommon in Shakespeare's time. Thus in The Tempest 
 Prospero says, " Twelve year since, Miranda, twelve year since, 
 thy father was the duke of Milan." 
 
 66. speaks holiday : — To speak holiday means to speak in well- 
 chosen language, or in a style above the common. So in i Henry 
 
 148
 
 OF WINDSOR Notes 
 
 IV., I. iii. 46, 47 : " With many holiday and lady terms he ques- 
 tion'd me " — akhough here there is an implied sense of dandyism 
 and affectedness of speech. 
 
 70. tio having: — That is, no property or possessions. So in 
 Twelfth Night, III. iv. :— 
 
 " My having is not much ; 
 I '11 make division of my present with you : 
 Hold, there 's half my coffer." 
 
 Scene III. 
 
 21. eyas-musket! — A young sparrow-hawk, eyas being a nest- 
 ling hawk, and musket a male sparrow-hawk. So in Spenser's 
 Faerie Queene, 
 
 " Like eyas hawke up mounts unto the skies. 
 His newly-budded pineons to assay;" 
 
 and again in his Hymne of Heavenly Love : " Ere flitting Time 
 could wag his eyas wings." 
 
 25. Jack-a-Lent: — A small stuffed puppet that used to be thrown 
 at for sport in Lent. So in Jonson's Tale of a Tub, iv. 3 : " On 
 an Ash-Wednesday, where thou didst stand six weeks the Jack of 
 Lent, for boys to hurl, three throws a penny, at thee." 
 
 57, 58. the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, etc.: — Any fanciful head- 
 dress worn or approved by the fashion-lovers of Venice. In how 
 much request the Venetian tire or head-dress was formerly held, 
 appears from Burton's Anatomy of Melancholy, 1624: "Let her 
 have the Spanish gait, the Venetian tire." 
 
 65, 66. if Fortune . . . friend : — That is, " if Fortune were 
 not thy foe. Nature being thy friend." "Fortune my foe" was 
 the beginning of a popular old ballad, wherein were sung the evils 
 that fall upon men through the caprices of Fortune. 
 
 74. Bucklersbury in simple time : — Simples or herbs were sold 
 at the many apothecary-shops in Bucklersbury; thus in simple 
 time filling the air with the fragrance of rosemary and lavender. 
 
 80. Counter-gate: — Counter was the name of one of the London 
 prisons, and was a frequent subject of jest. Thus Baret in his 
 Alvearie, 1573 : " We saie merrily of him who hath been in the 
 Counter or such-like places of prison. He can sing his counter- 
 tenor very well. And in anger we say, I will make you sing a 
 counter-tenor for this geare ; meaning imprisonment." 
 
 149
 
 Notes MERRY WIVES 
 
 92. the arras: — "In Shakespeare's time," says Hudson, "the 
 walls of rooms, even in the best houses, were unplastered, and 
 were lined with tapestries instead, which were called arras, from 
 the town of Arras in France, where they were first made. These, 
 to keep them from the rotting-damp, were hung on frames at 
 some distance from the walls." And Steevens says : " The spaces 
 left between the walls and the wooden frames on which arras 
 was hung, were not more commodious to our ancestors than to 
 the authors of their ancient dramatic pieces. Borachio in Much 
 Ado and Polonius in Hamlet also avail themselves of this con- 
 venient recess." 
 
 164. / have dreamed to-night: — Meaning last night. 
 
 Scene IV. 
 
 14. thy father's wealth: — "Some light," says Singer, "may be 
 given to those who shall endeavour to calculate the increase of 
 English wealth, by observing that Latimer, in the time of Edward 
 VI., mentions it as a proof of his father's prosperity ' that though 
 but a yeoman, he gave his daughters five pounds each for their 
 portion.' At the latter end of Elizabeth, seven hundred pounds 
 were such a temptation to courtship, as made all other motives 
 suspected. Congreve makes twelve thousand pounds more than 
 a counterbalance to the affection of Belinda." 
 
 92, 93. he set quick, etc.: — So in Jonson's Bartholomew Fair: 
 "Would I had been set in the ground, all but the head of me, 
 and had my brains bowl'd at." 
 
 105. once to-night: — That is, sometime to-night. Often so. 
 
 Scene V. 
 
 26. / cry you mercy : — That is, " I ask your pardon." 
 
 28. Chalices : — Cups. 
 
 84. distraction : — Hanmer changed this to direction, and has 
 been followed by some others, including Hudson (Harvard ed.). 
 
 108. with : — As pointed out by Singer, ivith, by, and of were 
 used indiscriminately with much license by our ancestors. Thus 
 in a subsequent passage of this play we have : " I rather will sus- 
 pect the sun zvith cold." Detected appears to have been used in 
 the sense of suspected, impeached. Cavendish, in his Metrical 
 Visions, has this very phrase — detected with, for impeached with, 
 
 150
 
 OF WINDSOR Notes 
 
 or held in suspicion by : " What Is he of our bloode that wold not 
 be sory to heare our names zvith vile fame so detected." Detected 
 must have the same meaning here, for Falstaff was not discovered, 
 but suspected by the jealous Ford. Some modern editors have 
 unwarrantably substituted by for with. 
 
 ACT FOURTH. 
 Scene I. 
 
 4. courageous: — As Hudson conjectures, outrageous. 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 198. cry out thus upon no trail: — Terms of the chase. Trail is 
 the scent left by the geme. To cry out is to open, or bark, as the 
 dogs do when they find the trail. 
 
 211,212. in fee-simple, zvith fine and recovery: — Ritson re- 
 marks upon this passage : " Fee-simple is the largest estate, and 
 fine and recovery the strongest assurance known to English law." 
 So that the passage means, " If Falstaff be not, to all intents and 
 purposes, the devil's," etc. Commentators have wondered how 
 Mrs. Page came to know so much of legal terms. But is it not 
 equally strange that Shakespeare's average characters, in their 
 ordinary talk, should speak greater poetry than any other poet has 
 written ? 
 
 212, 213. he will never, I think, etc. : — Hudson says that this " is 
 another legal phrase, meaning, ' he will never again attempt to 
 ruin us, or to lay waste our good name.' " 
 
 Scene IV. 
 
 2,2,. takes the cattle : — Take, meaning to strike zvith disease, is 
 frequent in Shakespeare. So in King Lear, H. iv. : " Strike her 
 young bones, you taking airs, with lameness." "A horse that is 
 bereft of his feeling, moving, or stirring," says Markham (1595), 
 " is said to be taken, and in sooth so he is, in that he is arrested by 
 so villainous a disease : yet some farriers, not well understanding 
 the ground of the disease, conster the word taken to be stricken 
 by some planet, or evil spirit, which is false." 
 
 151
 
 Notes MERRY WIVES 
 
 Scene V. 
 
 7, 8. painted about . . . the Prodigal : — " Bed-curtains and 
 tapestries," says Hudson, " were often embroidered with figures 
 from Scripture subjects, such as the Prodigal Son, Lazarus, and 
 others. Shakespeare has divers allusions to them." 
 
 10. Anthrop ophaginian : — Man-eater or cannibal. Mine Host 
 uses these fustian words to astonish Simple. 
 
 70. Doctor Faustuses : — Dr. Faustus, the German magician, had 
 acquired a new celebrity through Marlowe's play. 
 
 Scene VI. 
 
 41. quaint in green : — Quaint here means neat, tasteful, graceful, 
 with the idea of being, not fantastic, but elegantly fancied or 
 conceived. 
 
 ACT FIFTH. 
 Scene I. 
 
 25. life is a shuttle : — An allusion to Job, vii. 6 : " My days are 
 swifter than a weaver's shuttle/' 
 
 Scene V. ^ 
 
 15-17. Send me a cool . . . tallow: — This is technical. It is 
 explained by aid of Turberville's Book of Hunting, 1575 : " During 
 the time of their rut the harts live with small sustenance. — The 
 red mushroome helpeth well to make them pysse their greace, 
 they are then so vehement in heat." 
 
 20-24. Let the sky rain potatoes, etc. : — The sweet potato was 
 used in England as a delicacy long before the introduction of the 
 common potato in 1586. It was supposed, as also #as the eringo, 
 to be an aphrodisiac. 
 
 28. the fellow of this walk : — The keeper of this park or portion 
 of the forest. The shoulders of the buck were among his per- 
 quisites. 
 
 43. quality : — Profession, or function. 
 
 47, 49. Where iires thou Und'st unraked, etc. : — This office of 
 
 152
 
 OF WINDSOR Notes 
 
 the ancient fairies appears to have been' quite a favourite theme 
 with poets. Thus in Drayton's Nymphidia : — 
 
 " These make our girls their sluttery rue, 
 By pinching them both black and blue, 
 And put a penny in their shoe, 
 
 The house for cleanly sweeping." 
 
 So also in an old ballad entitled The Merry Pranks of Robin 
 Goodfellow, sometimes attributed to Ben Jonson : — 
 
 " When house and harth doth sluttish lye, 
 I pinch the maidens black and blue ; 
 The bed-clothes from the bedd-pull I, 
 And lay them naked all to view." 
 
 And again in the ancient song of the Fairy Queen : — 
 
 " And, if the house be foul 
 
 With platter, dish, or bowl. 
 
 Up stairs we nimbly creep. 
 
 And find the sluts asleep: 
 There we pinch their arms and thighes; 
 None escapes, nor none espies. 
 
 But if the house be swept. 
 
 And from uncleanness kept, 
 
 We praise the household maid, 
 
 And duely she is paid : 
 jt For we use before we goe 
 
 To drop a tester in her shoe." 
 
 54. Raise up the organs of her fantasy : — Fantasy, according to 
 Hudson, " here stands for sensual desire, the * sinful fantasy ' re- 
 proved afterwards in the Fairies' Song." Clarke gives a different 
 explanation, making the passage mean, " exalt her imagination by 
 pleasant dreams." 
 
 56. But those as sleep : — As and that were, in the time of 
 Shakespeare, used interchangeably. 
 
 65. With juice of balm, etc. : — It was a practice with people 
 of luxury to rub furniture with aromatic herbs, in order to 
 give it a sweet smell. Pliny informs us that the Romans did so 
 to drive away evil spirits. " Perhaps," adds Hudson, " they found 
 that penny-royal would keep off mosquitoes." 
 
 83. middle-earth : — Johnson says that " spirits are supposed to 
 inhabit the ethereal regions, and fairies to dwell underground; 
 
 153
 
 Notes MERRY WIVES 
 
 men therefore are in a middle station." Often used in this sense 
 by old writers. 
 
 1 7 J. aitliction : — After this speech the following, in accordance 
 with Theobald's decision, usually has been added from the Quar- 
 to :— 
 
 Mrs. Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to make amends ; 
 Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends. 
 
 Ford. Well, here 's my hand ; all 's forgiven at last. 
 
 204. postmaster's hoy : — Here too, following Steevens, many 
 have inserted the following from the Quarto : — 
 
 Evans. Jeshu ! master Slender, cannot you see but marry boys? 
 Page. O, I am vex'd at heart! What shall I do? 
 
 232. evitate : — Avoid. 
 
 243. When night-dogs run, etc. ; — Here again we commonly 
 have a line added from the Quarto : " Evans. I will dance and eat 
 plums at your wedding." Malone says that Falstaff alludes to 
 Fenton's having just run down Anne Page. " Falstaff," says 
 Clarke, " here takes a final chuckle over those who have defeated 
 his pursuit of the dear merry wives, by showing them that their 
 dear daughter has been caught by the man who was not their 
 choice, but hers." 
 
 154
 
 OF WINDSOR 
 
 Questions on 
 The Merry Wives of Windsor. 
 
 1. At whose request is this play said to have come into exist- 
 ence? 
 
 2. What relation in time do the events here depicted bear to 
 those of //^wr^' /F.? ^ 
 
 ACT FIRST. 
 
 3. With what note does the play open? 
 
 4. With what trait uppermost is Slender first presented? 
 
 5. What is first said of Anne Page? Of Master Page? 
 
 6. Mention some of Sir Hugh Evans's verbal peculiarities. 
 Compare him with Fluellen in Henry V. 
 
 7. What contemporary of Shakespeare is supposed to be satir- 
 ized in this Act? 
 
 8. How do Falstaff and his companions meet the charges of 
 Shallow and Slender? 
 
 9. What dramatic purpose is effected by the short scene with the 
 three women? 
 
 10. Who proposes the match between Slender and Anne Page? 
 Why does he wish to foster it? 
 
 11. What subtle observation of nature does Shakespeare show 
 in the scene between Anne Page and Slender? Is it a great art 
 to make a dull person interesting? 
 
 12. What new stage in the subordinate intrigue does Sc. ii. 
 introduce? What new character is presented and how described? 
 
 13. Why was Falstaff glad to be rid of Bardolph? To what 
 extent was Falstaff not averse to stealing? 
 
 14. What is the intrigue which Falstaff proposes, and what is 
 the counter-action? What motive is established for this counter- 
 action? Why, at the close of Sc. iii., do Nym and Pistol speak in 
 verse ? 
 
 155
 
 Questions MERRY WIVES 
 
 15. Why are Rugby's qualities set forth? What trait of Mrs. 
 Quickly is here illustrated? 
 
 16. State the complication of the intrigue involving Anne Page, 
 Sir Hugh, Mrs. Quickly, Dr. Caius, and Fenton as active par- 
 ticipants. Whose side does Mrs. Quickly take? 
 
 ACT SECOND. 
 
 17. This Act presents what picture of middle-class morality? 
 
 18. What internal facts determine the social status of the 
 audience for which the play was intended? 
 
 19. Who informs Ford of Falstaff's purposes? 
 
 20. What tag of speech does Nym always carry about with him? 
 What is its satirical import? 
 
 21. Does Nym seem more* of a caricature — like many of Dick- 
 ens's people — than a character? 
 
 22. What saved Page from suspicion of his wife? 
 
 23. Mention a certain modern type of character satirized in 
 the Host. 
 
 24. What touches of real Falstaffian humour in the dialogue in 
 Sc. ii. between the knight and Pistol? 
 
 25. What is the office of Mrs. Quickly in the main intrigue? 
 
 26. How does Ford, disguised as Brook, persuade Falstaff to 
 accede to his designs? 
 
 27. Does Falstaff here, as in all cases in Henry IV., cover his 
 retreat with humour? 
 
 28. Contrast the jealousy of Ford with that of Othello. Why 
 is not Ford a tragic figure? 
 
 29. Is Dr. Caius a character of comedy or of burlesque? Com- 
 pare him with Evans in his power of provoking mirth. 
 
 ACT THIRD. 
 
 30. Describe the state of mind of Evans at the opening of the 
 first Scene. What situation in modern comedy resembles this? 
 
 31. How does the Host act as pacificator? What is his reward? 
 
 32. Define the state of mind of Slender during the progress of 
 the first Scene. 
 
 2,3. How does Mrs. Page add to the jealousy of Ford? 
 
 34. What was Page's objection to Fenton as a suitor for Anne? 
 
 35. Had Falstaff any trusty followers? How did Robin deceive 
 him? 
 
 156
 
 OF WINDSOR Questions 
 
 S6. What impression does Sir John make as a lover? Is it 
 possible that a man of his intellect could have been so played 
 upon? 
 
 37. Where is the climax of the drama? 
 
 38. What does Page say as Falstaff passes him, as the latter 
 is carried out concealed in the buck-basket? How does Falstaff 
 later describe the scene? 
 
 39. How do Sir Hugh Evans, Dr. Caius, and Mrs. Ford com- 
 ment on the jealousy of Ford? 
 
 40. Why are the practical jokes at Falstaff's expense continued? 
 
 41. Does Fenton recommend himself to you as a fit suitor for 
 "Sweet Anne Page"? How does he justify his position? 
 
 42. What effect of contrast is secured in the fourth Scene? 
 How is it shown that the choice of lovers really lies between two? 
 
 43. Is Anne a romantic figure? If so, why is not her love-affair 
 treated romantically? How would you describe the animating 
 spirit of this Scene? 
 
 44. What determining influence has the principal intrigue upon 
 the manner of treatment of the subordinate one? 
 
 45. What redeems Falstaff from the ignominy of the ducking, 
 as evidenced in Sc. v.? 
 
 46. How is the interview between Falstaff and Ford, with which 
 the Act closes, justified from a dramatic point of view? 
 
 ACT FOURTH. 
 
 47. Is there episodic value in Sc. i.? 
 
 48. Is it good art in Shakespeare to make the second scene of 
 Falstaff at Mrs. Ford's follow so closely on the lines of the first? 
 
 49. How is it saved from bathos? Wherein resides the real 
 comedy of the Scene? 
 
 50. In what way does Sc. iii. connect itself with the plot of 
 the play? 
 
 51. Describe the plot that is laid for the third punishment of 
 Sir John. 
 
 52. Is anything indicated as to the belief in witches and fairies 
 in the England of this period? 
 
 53. How are the two intrigues brought together into the same 
 channel? 
 
 54. Is there any reason in nature why Page should not have 
 been as jealous of his wife as Ford was of his? 
 
 157
 
 Questions MERRY WIVES 
 
 55. Did the difference of the Pages, man and wife, over the 
 marriage of their daughter ever amount to enmity? 
 
 56. In what way is Mistress Prat of Brentford made to assume 
 an integral part in the plot? What effect of retrospect is gained 
 thereby ? 
 
 57. Why is Nym the one singled out for reference? 
 
 58. What subsequent parts in the action do Pistol and Bardolph 
 play? 
 
 59. Recount the episode of the German impostors? For what 
 does this episode prepare? 
 
 60. What effect of reality is gaified by the introduction of ele- 
 ments but remotely allied to the main action? 
 
 61. How does this imposture of the Germans furnish a back- 
 ground for Falstaff's reflection in the fifth Scene? 
 
 62. Compare the account of his second discomfiture that Fal- 
 staff gives to Dame Quickly with the account of the first, delivered 
 to Ford. Is the citadel of his conceit feeling assaults made 
 upon it? 
 
 ACT FIFTH. 
 
 63. State the reason that led Falstaff to venture his fortunes for 
 the third time. 
 
 64. What classical comparisons does he plume himself with? 
 
 65. What effect is there in the transition from this to the fear 
 of the fairies? 
 
 66. Indicate the sort of penitence that disgrace stirred in Fal- 
 staff. In what quarter did he chiefly fear disclosures? 
 
 67. How did Anne Page and Fenton outwit the whole company? 
 
 68. Why is so much of this comedy written in prose? What 
 parts are in verse; and what is the content of such passages? 
 
 69. Is the real Falstaff of Henry IV. to be seen in this play? 
 
 70. What are some of the characteristics that are distinctively 
 his, and when are these prominent in this play? 
 
 71. Does the play furnish enough of the real Falstaffian humour 
 to offset the feeling of injustice done to the fat knight of Henry 
 
 IV. -i 
 
 72. Compare respectively the Nym, Pistol, and Bardolph of this 
 and the earlier play. 
 
 158
 
 OF WINDSOR Questions 
 
 TZ' Compare Slender with Sir Andrew Aguecheek {Twelfth 
 Night). Which is the more delightful? 
 
 74. Was Slender an unsuitable husband for Anne Page? Your 
 opinion of Page and of the reasons why he encouraged the suit 
 of Slender. 
 
 75. Will Fenton probably spend her money and then desert 
 Anne? What may be expected from his antecedents? 
 
 y6. What traits of character do you find in the two "merry 
 wives"? What in Mrs. Quickly? 
 
 IS9
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA-LOS ANGELES 
 
 L 009 978 300 3