CO' so >■ so -< -^MIIBRARY^/ i^ %a3AINa-3# %OJ11VO-J0^' ^OJIIVJ-JO'^ vKlOSANCElfjv S '^ ^« ^OfCAllFO%. ^OfCAllF0% %a3AiNn:3WV^ ^^^Aaviisni^' '^^Aavaaii-^ v^' iti. \mmi; > JC) . O-^i ■* •-v. I. ( r. , .o ■^/Sa]AIN(1^3WV X V .\\\L iniYLno//7, v^lOSANCflfj> '*Vf ' «.IU I I' J ' ■J rj ji VI OV ' 1^ .«\-'V ^^IIIBRARYQ^ C5 I ■so >-. -j^^UIBRARYQr ^4[OJI1V3JO'^ ^lUBRARYi ^tfOJITVDJ^ IIVER% ^lOSANCFl^^ ,^OFCAIIFO% ^jOF-CALIFO/ vr %a3A!Nrtiwv* ^'(^•AavHain^ '-^omimm RARY(9/: IV3J0>^ -o^illBRARYOc, ^ ^^l•UBRARY«2>0©— " Let those smoke now — who never smoked before, And those who always smoked — noiv smoke the more.''* Reeves & Turner. 196, Strand, W.C MDCCCLXXXIX, (11 31 ; Poems and Parodyes in Prayse of TOBACCO. aaamnnuuBiHHBt ^ O I Copies of this Collection have been printed on hand-7nade Paper, of which . i^i a7'e Presentation Copies, and j^o are for Sale, 545^248 LISRARf ACROSTIC. ■L thee, blest tveed, tohose sovereign vAles. O^er cankered care bring radiant smiles, Best gift of Love to mortals given ! At once the bud and bliss of Heaven! Croivnless are kings uncrowned by thee : Content the serf in thy sweet liberty charm of life ! foe to misery ! J.H. g§^ t^^€. first Friday in December, 188S, a \^^ paper entitled " Songs in Praise of Tobacco " was read before " Ye Sette of Odd Volumes " in Willis's Rooms, King Street, St. James s ; His Oddshipj T. G. Venahles, Esq., in the chair. According to the usual practice of the Sette that paper should have been printed for private circula- tion amongst the members only, unfortunately it was imp)ossible to comply with that custom. The paper contained many parodies relating to smoking, it was imperative that these shoidd be in- cluded in my Collection of Parodies, and it woidd have been contrary to the strict 0. V. etiquette to have reprinted any matter which had once been included in the reports of their proceedings. Besides which the poems loere so numerous that they coidd not have been contained in a brochure of the thickness of the visual 0. V. publications. The whole collectio?i has therefore been re-arranged, and in addition to the Parodies (which have already appeared in print) all the best poetical pmises of Tobacco are here gathered in one sweet-smelling bouquet, luhich is dedicated, with all respect and esteem, to those con- genial spirits, and true lovers of the Indian Weed, the Sette of Odd Yolumes, by their grateful Friend, and Brother^ ©intents* ■GiiBSDnaaBc»9iv PAGB LiGHTING-UP -••• 7 Early Poems IN Praise OF Tobacco n Poems ON THE Pipe 45 Poems on the Cigar 73 Poems ON THE Cigarette 87 Poems on Snuff 93 Parodies Relating to Smoking 105 Containing imitations of Horace, Shakespeare, Abraham Cowley, Colley Cibber, Ambrose Ph Hips, James Thompson, Edward Young, Alexander Pope, Dean Swift, Gray's " Elegy," Sheridan, Sir Walter Scott, Thomas Moore, Thomas Hood, Eliza Cook, Mrs. Heraans, Lord Byron, Wordsworth, "My Mother," Dr. Watts, 0. W. Holmes, Charles Kin!?sley, Barry Cornwall, C. S. Calverley, H. W. Longfellow, A. C. Swinburne, and Alfred Tennyson. Ballades on Smoking 173 ^nJ^lHl^f*^H>»**^--*^****'* '****» 43arotrj)e£» lu ^Srap^e c£ Cobacro* MHHHaaBBHBRBRin LIGHTING- UP, XT is almost universally admitted that the primeval sm.okers of the world were the natives (so-called Indians) of North America, who had been smokers for ages before the discovery of their country by the Spaniards, and who looked 8 POEMS IN PRAISE upon Tobacco with superstitious awe as a special gift sent by the Great Spirit for their delectation. The custom of smoking was moreover wide- spread, for wherever the early explorers travelled on the Western Hemisphere the tribes with whom they came in contact were smokers, and from that date to the present time the votaries of the weed have been ever on the increase. Tobacco ( Nicotiana tahacum) is said to derive its name from Tabacco, a province of Yucatan ; other authorities trace it to the isle of Tobago, in the West Indies ; whilst some say it comes from Tobasco in the Gulf of Florida. Tobacco was known in San Domingo in 1492, and was used freely by the Spaniards in Yucatan as early as 1520, but the exact date of its introduction into England cannot be definitely fixed. It was either first brought over by Sir John Hawkins in 1565 or by Sir Walter Raleigh and Sir Francis Drake in 1586. Thus we know with tolerable certainty that smoking in England has lasted a little more than three centuries, and that notwithstanding the edicts of kings, the bulls of popes, the most stringent Acts of Parliament, the repressive " Smoking Prohibited " of dictatorial Railway Directors the solemn warnings of doctors, the anathemas of the Priesthood, and the frowns of the Ladies, the practise of smoking has been OF TOBACCO. ever on the increase, and is now far more largely indulged in by high and low, rich and poor, than it has ever been. In compiling the following pages much assistance has been derived from F. W. Fairholt's Tobacco, its History and Associations ; from Cope's Tobacco Plant, published by Messrs. Cope Brothers and Co., Limited, Liverpool; from Mr. P. H. Davis; and from Mr. Caton, the obliging editor of Tobacco, to whom I am also indebted for the loan of some of the humorous illustrations which originally ap- peared in Tobacco Jokes for Smoking Folks. The late Mr. William Bragge, of Sheffield, was a most persevering collector of antiquities, books, and other articles relating to the history of Tobacco, and relics connected with smoking. Mr. Bragge's work, Bibliotheca Nicotiana, a catalogue of books about Tobacco, although issued some years ago. is still the standard book of reference on this subject. His library, which contained nearly the whole literature of Tobacco, was sold in London by Messrs. Sotheby, Wilkinson and Hodge in April, 1882, and about the same time the following verses appeared in Punch : — Pipes of all Peoples. Pipes of all peoples ! Here's a strange collection, Made by one Bragge, the pipes of every clime, lo POEMS IN PRAISE Arranged in cases offered for inspection To all the virtuosi of our time. Others have gathered china, insects, pictures Of modern men or masters old and ripe ; Here is a man who, scorning sneers or strictures, Has gathered, to astonish us — the Pipe. Here are queer pipes from Burmah and from Java, From Turkey, Russia, and from far Japan, Some made of wood, of ivory, and lava. Some that belonged to pre-historic Man. From Mexico come pipes of terra-cotta, That hapless Maximilian kept awhile. And 'mid the whole Collection there is not a Pipe that's more strange than this from near the Nile. Then come the pipes wrought skilfully of metal The Red Man's calumet, or pipe of peace, Pipes that were smoked o'er many a camp-fire kettle, And others hailing from the hills of Greece. Pipes made of reed from Amazonian valley. With meerschaums from Vienna of to-day ; Pipes that would grace the huge mouth of ''Aunt Sally," The welcome cutty formed of humble clay. All these and many more are here before us, That once in smokers' mouths were in full blast. Light up cigars and pipes, and cry in chorus, " We'll smoke as men have smoked in ages past,'' Havannahs whisper, " Try us and consume us." Tobacco tempts in variegated stripes. Then " Gloria,"' we echo, " 3Iundifumus,^* And here's to Bragge and all his wondrous pipes 1 OF TOBACCO. II POEMS IN PRAISE OF TOBACCO, In the following pages the poems are thus arranged — on Tobacco generally, on the Pipe, Cigar, and Cigarette, and on SnufF. No poets have been found;, however^ to sing the praise of chewing Tobacco, a very old form of enjoying the weed. This habit is now principally con- fined to sailors, soldiers, policemen, and others whose duties compel them to remain in solitude for many hours at a stretch v/ithout the solace of a pipe. The following amusing letter shows the importance a sailor attaches to his Quid : — Gravesend, March 24, 1813. Dear Brother Tom ; This comes hopein to find you in good health as it leaves me safe anckor'd here yesterday at 4 P.M. arter a pleasant voyage tolerable short and a few squalls. — Dear Tom — hopes to find poor old father stout, and am quite out of pig-tail. — Sights of pig-tail at Gravesend, but unfcrtinly not fit for a dog to chor. Dear Tom, Captain's boy will bring you this, and put pig- tail in his pocket v»'hen bort. Best in London at the Black Boy in 7 diles, where go acks for best pig-tail — pound a pig- tail will do, and am short of shirts. Dear Tom, as for shiits ony took 2 whereof one is quite wored out and tuther most, but don't forget the pig-tail, as I aint had a quid to chor never since Thursday. Dear Tom, as for shirts, your size will do, only longer. I liks um long — get one at present, 12 POEMS IN PRAISE best at Tower-hill, and cheap, but be particler to go to 7 diles for the pig-tail at the Black Boy, and Dear Tom, acks for pound best pig-tail, and let it be good. Captain's boy will put the pig-tail in his pocket he likes pigtail, so ty it up. Dear Tom, shall be up about Monday there or thereabouts. Not so perticuler for the shirt, as the present can be washed, but dont furgit the pig-tail without fail, so am your loving brother, P.S. — Dont forget the pig- tail. :o:- Titnothy Parsons, Allusions to Tobacco in our Elizabethan literature are both numerous and interesting. The early Dramatists delighted to honour the weed, yet curiously enough no mention of it occurs in the works of Shakespeare. Poems and Ballads were soon sung in its praise, and naturally there were many whose distaste for smoking was also expressed in forcible terms. The most noteworthy example of the latter was the ridiculous work written by the pedantic King James in 1603. entitled A C'ounterbhisfe to Tobacco. Nearly all the great modern poets have been smokers, and have written in praise of its soothing effcv^ts, yet Swin- burne, it is said, detests the habit and endorses the opinion expressed by King James : — *' Surely smoke becomes a kitchen far better than a dinivg chamber, and yet it makes a kitrhen oftentimes in the inward parts of men, soiling and infect ingxvith an unctuous and oyly kind of soofe as hath been found in some great tobacco takers that after death were opened. A custom, loathsome to the eye, harmful to the braine, OF TOBACCO, 13 dangerous to the lungs, and in the black stinking fume thereof, nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that IS bottomless.'* And later on he adds that, '* Tobacco is the lively image and pattern of Hell. ' ' The earliest printed verses on smoking with which I am acquainted occur in a very rare little book, entitled : " Dyefs Dry Dinner,'' by H. Buttes, printed in 1599. The conversa- tion it refers to appears to have taken place at a Theatre, in which places of amusement smoking was largely indulged in until comparatively modern times : — A Satyricall Epigram upon the Wanton AND Excessive Use of Tabacco. It chaunc'd me gazing at the Theater, To spie a Lock-Tabacco-Chevalier Clowding the loathing ayr with foggie fume Of Dock Tabacco friendly foe to rhume. I wisht the Roman Lawes severity Who smoke selleth, with smoke be don to dye Being well nigh smouldered with this smokie stir I gan this wise bespeak my gallant Sir ; Certes ! me thinketh, Sir, it ill beseems Thus here to vapour out these reeking steams : Like or Maroe's steeds, whose nostrils flamed Or Plinies Nosemen (mouthless men) surnamed, Whose breathing Nose supply'd mouth's absency. He me regreets with this prophane reply : — "Nay, I resemble, Sir, Jehovah dread. From out whose Nostrils a sraoake issued ; Or the mid ayrs congealed region, Whose stomach with crude humours frozen on Sucks up Tabacco like the upmost ayr. 14 POEMS IN FEAISE Enkindled by Fire's neighbour Candle fayr. And hence it spits out watery reums amaine Or phleamy snow, and haile, and sheerer raine. Anon it smoaks beneath, it flames anon." Sooth then, quoth I, its safest we be gone, Lest there arise some Ignis Fatuus From out this smoaking flame and choken us. On English foole : Wanton Italianly : Go Frenchly : Dutchly drink : Breathe Indianly. The Praise of Trinadado. 1608. Come, sirrah, Jacke hoe ! Fill some Tobacco ; Bring a wire And some lire Haste, Haste, away, Quicker, I say, Do not stay. Shun delay, For I dranke none good today. I swear that this tobacco It's perfect Trinidado ; By the very, very mass Never was there better gere, Then is here. By the roode ! For the blood 'Tis very good. Fill the pipe once more, My brains dance Trenchmore ; ♦ * A popular dance of the period. OF TOBACCO. IS It is heady, I am geddy, jMy head and brains Back and raines, Joints and vaines, From all paines It doth well purge and make cleane. Then those that doe condemn it, Or such as not commend it. Never were so wise to learne, Good tobacco to discerne : Let them go Pluck a crow, And not know as I do The sweete of Trinidado. From Weelkes' Ayres,or Phantasticke Spirites, 1608. At the period when this book was printed, the produce of the island of Trinidad was in great request by the race of smokers. Heylin, the old cosmographer, says that the island abounded in the best kind of tobacco, much cele- brated formerly by the name of a ** Pipe of Trinidado." From the following passage in Ben Jonson's play, ** The Alchemist," first acted in 1610, we gather some curious particulars respecting the business of a tobacconist of that period. It occurs in the first act, where Abel Drugger is introduced to Subtle : ** This is my friend Abel, an honest fellow ; He lets me have good tobacco, and he does not Sophisticate it with sack-lees or oil. Nor washes it in muscadel and grains, Nor buries it in gravel, underground, i6 POEMS IN PRAISE Wrapt up in greasy leather, But keeps it in fine lily pots that, open'd, Smell like conserve of roses, or French beans, He has his maple block, his silver tongs, Winchester pipes, and fire of juniper : A neat, spruce, honest fellow. . . Some well-known lines in favour of smoking are often quoted, and more frequently misquoted, by people who have no idea of their antiquity. ** Much victuals serves for gluttony To fatten men like swine. But he's a frugal man indeed That with a leaf can dine. And needs no napkin for his hands His fingers ends to wipe. But keeps his kitchen in a box, And roast meat in a pipe." This passage occurs in the midst of a long speech in favour of tobacco, written by Samuel Rowlands in his Knave of Cluhhs in 1611. On Sunday the 26th August, 162 1, a comedy, entitled " Techno ffamta, or the Marriage of the Arts," written by Barton Holiday, M.A., of Christ's Church, Oxford, was performed by students of that college, before King James, at Woodstock. The King was much displeased with the play for the following reason : — Phlegmaticus, one of the characters, entered exclaiming, **Fore Jove, most meteorological tobacco ! Pure Indian ! not a jot sophisticated ; a tobacco pipe is the chimney of OF TOBACCO. 17 perpetual hospitality. Fore Jove, most metropolitan to- bacco,'' and then broke out into the following song : — Tobacco's a INIusician And in a pipe delighteth ; It descends in a close Through the organs of the nose, With a relish that inviteth. This makes me sing so ho, so ho, boyes, Ho boys sound I loudly. Earth ne'er did breed Such a jovial weed Whereof to boast so proudly. Tobacco is a Lawyer, His pipes do love long cases, When our brains it enters Our feete do make indentures ; While we seale with stamping paces. Cliorus. Tobacco's a Physician, Good both for sound and sickly, 'Tis a hot perfume, ^ That expels cold rheum, And makes it flow downe quickly. Chorus. Tobacco is a Traveller, Come from the Indies hither, It passed sea and land Ere it came to my hand, And scaped the wind and weather. Chorus, Tobacco is a Critticke, That still old paper turneth B 1 8 POEMS IN PRAISE Whose labour and care Is as smoke in the aire That ascends from a rag when it burneth. Chorus. Tobacco's an ignis fatuus A fat and fyrie vapour, That leads men about Till the fire be out, Consuming like a taper. Chorus. Tobacco is a Whyffler, And cries "huff snuff" with furie, His pipes, his club, and linke. He's the wiser that does drinke Thus armed I fear not a furie. This makes me sing so ho, so ho, boyes, Ho boys sound I loudly, Earth ne'er did breed Such a jovial weed Whereof to boast so proudly. Prefixed to Rand's edition of Skelton's EUnour Rumminq, printed in I624, are some verses curiously descriptive of the then general habit of tobacco smoking : — Nor did that time knov^r To puffe and to blow In a peece of white clay, As you doe at this day, With fier and coale And a leafe in a hole ; As my ghost hath late scene. As I walked between OF TOBACCO. 19 Westminster Hall And the Church of Saint Paul, And so thorow the citie, Where I saw and did pitty My country men's cases, With fiery-smoke faces, j Sucking and drinking A filthie weede stinking, "Was ne'er knowne before Till the devil and the More In the Indies did nieete. And each other there greete With a health they desire Of stinke, smoke and fier. These lines are supposed to be spoken by the ghost of Skelton, who was Poet Laureate to Henry VIII. The Tryujviph of Tobacco over Sack and Ale. From Wits' Recreations, I640. Nay, soft by your leaves. Tobacco bereaves You both of the garland, forbear it ; You are two to one, Yet tobacco alone Is like both to win it and weare it. Though many men crack. Some of ale, some of sack. And think they have reason to do it ; Tobacco hath more That will never give o'er The honour they do unto it. B 2 20 POEMS IN PRAISE Tobacco engages Both sexes, all ages, The poor as well as the wealthy ; From the court to the cottage, From childhood to dotage. Both those that are sick and the healthy. It plainly appears That in a few years Tobacco more custom hath gain'd Than sack or than ale. Though they double the tale Of the times wherein they have reign'd. And worthily too, For what they undo, Tobacco doth help to regain, On fairer conditions Than many physicians, Puts an end to much grief and pain. It helpeth digestion, Of that there's no question The gout and the toothache it eases ; Be it early or late, 'Tis ne'er out of date. He may safely take it that pleases. Tobacco prevents Infection by scents. That hurt the brain and are heady. An antidote is Before you're amiss, As well as an after remedy. OF TOBACCO. 21 The cold it doth heat, Cools' them that do sweat, And them that are fat maketh lean. The hungry doth feed, And if there be need, Spent spirits restoreth again. Tobacco infused May safely be used, For purging and killing of lice : Not so much as the ashes. But heals cuts and slashes. And that out of hand in a trice. The Poets of old Many Fables have told, Of the gods and their symposia, But Tobacco alone, Had they known it had gone. For their Nectar and Ambrosia, It is not the smack Of ale or of sack, That can with tobacco compare : For taste and for smell. It bears away the bell From them both, wherever they are. For all their bravado It is Trinidado, That both their noses will wipe Of the praises they desire, Unless they conspire To sing to the tune of his pipe. 22 POEMS IN PBAISE A little book, published in the days of Queen Anne, entitled, "The True Trial of understanding, or Wit newly revived," contained the following riddle : " What tho' I have a nauseous breath, Yet many a one will me commend ; I am beloved after death. And serviceable to my friend," to which is appended the answer, *' This is tobacco after cut and dry'd, being dead becometh serviceable." To three-fourths of a cross add a circle complete : TO Let two semicircles a perpendicular meet : B Next add a triangle that stands on two feet : A Then two semicircles, and a circle complete : CCO :o:- THE INDIAN" WEED. Many versions exist of the following very old song, and the history of it is somewhat contradictory and confusing. It has been ascribed to George Wither (1588 — 1667), and was originally published in 1631, in a volume entitled The Soules Solace, by Thomas Jenner, Another version was printed in 1672 in "Two Broadsides against Tobacco." One version commenced with the following stanza : Why should we so much despise So good and sweet an exercise As, early and late, to meditate? Thus think, and drink tobacco.* * The term "drinking'' tobacco was commonly used in the early days of smoking. OF TOBACCO. 23 The most usually accepted version runs as follows ; The Indian weed withered quite, Green at noon, cut down at night, Shows thy decay, — All flesh is hay : Thus think, then drink tobacco. The pipe that is so lily-white, Shows thee to be a mortal wight, And even such, Gone with a touch : Thus think, then drink tobacco. And when the smoke ascends on high, Think thou behold'st the vanity Of worldly stuif. Gone with a puff : Thus think, then drink tobacco. And when the pipe crows foul within, Think on thy soul defiled with sin ; And then the fire It doth require : Thus think, then drink tobacco. The ashes that are left behind. May serve to put thee still in mind, That unto dust, Return thou must, Thus think, then drink tobacco. The next is a more modern version : — Tobacco is an Indian Weed. This Indian weed now withered quite Though green at noon, cut down at night, 24 POEMS IN PRAISE Shows thy decay ; All flesh is hay ; Thus think, and smoke tobacco. The pipe, so lily-like and weak, Does thus thy mortal state bespeak ; Thou art e'en such, Gone with a touch : Thus think, and smoke tobacco. And when the smoke ascends on high, Then thou behold'st the vanity Of worldly stuff, Gone with a puff ! Thus think, and smoke tobacco. And when the pipe grows foul within, Think on thy soul defiled with sin ; For then the fire It does require : Thus think, and smoke tobacco. Thou seest the ashes cast away, Then to thyself thou mayest say, That to the dust Return thou must : Thus think, and smoke tobacco. Some additional, but very inferior stanzas^ were written by the Rev. Ralph Erskine, a minister of the Scotch Church, and printed in OF TOBACCO. 2$ his Gospel Sonnets, about the end of the last century. This continuation has been called Smoking Spieitualized. " Was this small plant for thee cut down? So was the plant of great renown, Which mercy sends For nobler ends. Thus think and smoke tobacco. "Doth juice medicinal proceed From such a naughty foreign weed ? Then what's the power Of Jesse's flower? Thus think and smoke tobacco. **The promise, like the pipe, inlays And, by the mouth of faith, conveys What virtue flows From Sharon's rose. Thus think and smoke tobacco. ** In vain th' unlighted pipe you blow, Your pains in outward means are so, Till heavenly fire Your heart inspire. Thus think and smoke tobacco. '' The smoke, like burning incense, towers ; So should a praying heart of yours With ardent cries Surmount the skies. Thus think and smoke tobacco. 26 POEMS IN PRAISE A Catch on Tobacco. {Simg ty four men smoking their Pipes.) Good, good indeed ; The herb's good weed ; Fill thy pipe, Will. And I prithee, Sam, fill, And yet sing still, And yet sing still. What say the learn'd ? What say the learn'd ? Vita fumus , vita fumus ! 'Tis what you and I, And he and I, You, and he, and I, And all of us sumus. But then to the learned say we again, If life's a smoke as they maintain ; If life's a vapour without doubt. When a man does die. He should not cry. That his glass is run but his pipe is out. But whether we smoke or whether we sing, Let us be loyal and remember the King, Let him live, and let his foes vanish thus, thus, thus, Like, like a pipe, like a pipe of Spanish, thus, thus, thus, A pipe of Spanish ! From '^ Bacchus and Venus. ^^ ^737- OF TOBACCO. 27 Invocation to Tobacco. Weed of the strange power, weed of the earth, Killer of dulness — parent of mirth; Come in the sad hour, come in the gay. Appear in the night, or in the day : Still thou art weicome as June's blooming rose, Joy of the palate, delight of the nose. Weed of the green field, weed of the wild, Foster'd in freedom, America's child ; Come in Virginia, come in Havannah, Friend of the universe, sweeter than manna : Still thou art welcome, rich, fragrant and ripe. Pride of the tube-case, Delight of the pipe. Weed of the savage, weed of each pole. Comforting, — soothing, — Philosophy's soul ; Come in the snuff-box, Come in cigar, In Strasburgh and King's, come from afar ; Still thou art welcome, the purest, the best, Joy of earth's millions, for ever carest. From Nicotiana, by Henry James Meller. London Efhngham Wilson. 1S32. Virginia Tobacco. Two maiden dames of sixty-two Together long had dwelt : Neither, alas ! of love so true, The bitter pangs had felt. But age comes on, they say, apace, To warn us of our death, 28 POEMS IN PRAISE And wrinkles mar the fairest face, At last it stops our breath. One of these dames, tormented sore With that curst pang, tooth-ache, Was at a loss for such a bore What remedy to take : ** I've heard," thought she, *' this ill to cure, A pipe is good, they say. Well then, tobacco I'll endure. And smoke the pain away." The pipe was lit, the tooth soon well. And she retir'd to rest — When thus the other ancient belle Her spinster mate addressed : — "Let me request a favour, pray " — "I'll do it if lean"— "Oh ! well then, love, smoke everyday, You smell so like a man ! " From Gimcraclciana, or Fugitive pieces on Manchester Men and Manners. Manchester, 1833. (Attributed to John Stanley Gregson.) An Address to the Critics. Cr^itics avaunt — tobacco is ray theme, Tremble like hornets at the blasting steam ; And you Court insects — flutter not too near Its light, nor buzz within its scorching sphere. Pollio, with flame like thine, my verse inspire. So shall the Muse, with smoke, elicit fire ; Coxcombs prefer the tickling sling of snuff, OF TOBACCO. 29 Vet all their claim to wisdom is — a pnfif. Lord Fopling smokes not — for his teeth afraid ; Sir Tawdry smokes not — for he wears brocade. Ladies, when pipes are brought, affect to swoon ; They love no smoke, except the smoke of town. But courtiers hate the puf&ng tribe— no matter, Strange if they love the breath that cannot flatter. Its foes but show their ignorance, can he Who scorns the leaf of knowledge, love the tree ? Citronia vows it has an odious stink, She will not smoke, ye gods, but she will drink ; And chaste Prudella — blame her if you can — Says — pipes are used by that vile creature man. Yet crowds remain, who still its worth proclaim, For some for pleasure smoke, and some for fame — Fame, of our actions, universal spring. For which we drink, eat, sleep, smoke — everything. Smoking and Smokers. By W. A.Delamotte. 1845. A Manilla Sonnet. Luscious leaf of fragrant savour, Mild cheroot oi choicest flavour, Wafting incense to the sky, Like the gales of Araby, Let us press thee to our lips, As the bee the honey sips ; Culling as our well-earned meed, Joys from thee — thou heavenly weed ! Ere thy burnished lip we kiss. Let us thus enjoy the bliss, 30 POEMS IN PRAISE Lit by the promethean spark, Kindled from the congreve dark ; In summer-house or country villa, There's nothing like a good Manilla ! From A Pipe of Tobacco, by E, L. Blanchaid. London. H. Beal. (No date.) L'HEUREUX FUMEUR. Certain fumeur courtisait une veuve, Grace a I'hymen, lorsqu'il fut dans ses lacs, Pour te donner, lui dit-il, une preuve De mon amour, je vais mettre en eclats Si tu le veux, ma pipe toute neuve ; — Non, non ; la pipe a pour toi trop d'appas ; Je ne la crains que lorsque je suis grosse : L'odeur m'en plait quand je ne la suis pas ; Tu peux fumer, Notre epoux, dans la Beauce Comme heiitier d'un oncle, avait des droits j II part. Suivant des conseils malairoits, Dans un proces chicaneau vous I'enfourne ; Ce n'est qu'apres absence de vingt mois, Qu'kson logis un matin il retourne. Pipe h la bouche. Oh ! qu'est ce que je vols ? S'ecria-t-il en rentrant ; quoi ! commode, Console i5i ! pendule, glace la ? D'ou viennent done ces meubles a la mode? — D'un troc. Je vais te center tout cela ; Mais — mon mari — ta pipe m'incommode. Pons de Verdun. OF TOBACCO. 31 An Encomium on Tobacco. Thrice happy Isles that stole the world's delight And thus produce so rich a Margarite ! It is the fountain whence all pleasure springs, A potion for imperial and mighty kings. He that is master of so rich a store May laugh at Croesus and esteem him poor ; And with his smoky sceptre in his fist, Securely flout the toiling Alchymist, Who daily labours with a vain expense In distillations of the Quintessence, Not knowing that this golden Herb alone Is the Philosopher's admired Stone. It is a favour which the Gods doth please, If they do feed on smoke, as Lucian says. Therefore the cause that the bright sun doth rest At the low point of the declining West — When his oft wearied horses breathless pant — Is to refresh himself with this sweet Plant, W^hich wanton Thet's from the West doth bring. To joy her love after his toilsome ring : For 'tis a cordial for an inward smart, As is Dictamnum* to the v/ounded hart. It is the sponge that wipes out all our woe ; 'Tis like the thorn that doth on Pelion grow, With which whoe'er his frost limbs anoints. Shall feel no cold in fat, or flesh, or joints. 'Tis like the river, which whoe'er doth taste, Forgets his present grief's and sorrows past. Music, which makes grim thoughts retire. And for a while cease their tormenting fire Music, which forces beasts to stand at gaze, * An berb with which the hart is said to cure its wounds. 32 P0E3IS IN PRAISE And fills their senseless spirits M'itli amaze — Compared to this is like delicious strings, Which sound but harshly while Apollo sings. The train with this infumed, all quarrel ends And fiercest foemen turn to faithful friends ; The man that shall this smoky magic prove, Will need no philtres to obtain his love. Yet this sweet simple, by misordered use, Death or some dangerous sickness may produce. Should we not for our sustentation eat Because a surfeit comes from too much meat? Should we not thirst with mod'rate drink repress, Because a dropsy springs from such excess ? So our fair Plant — that doth as needful stand As heaven, or fire, or air, or sea, or land ; As moon, or stars that rule the gloomy night, Or sacred friendship or the sunny light — Her treasured virtue in herself enrolls, And leaves the evil to vainglorious souls. And yet, who dies with this celestial breath, Shall live immortal in a joyful death. All goods, all pleasures, it in one can link — 'Tis physic, clothing, music, meat, and drink. Gods would have revell'd at their feasts of Mirth With this pure distillation of the earth ; The marrow of the world, star of the West, The Pearl whereby this lower Orb is blest ; The joy of Mortals, Umpire of all strife, Delight of Nature, Mithridate of Life ; The daintiest dish of a delicious feast. By taking which Man differs from a beast. Anonymous. Temp., James I. From The Smoker'' s Guide, Philosopher and Iriend, by a veteran of Smokedom. London. Flardwicke and Bogue. OF TOBACCO. 33 Lord Byron on Tobacco. Borne from a short frail pipe which yet had blown Its gentle odours over either zone, And, puffd where'er winds rise or waters roll, Had wafted smoke from Portsmouth to the Pole, Opposed its vapour as the lightnmg flash'd, And reek'd, midst mountain-billows unabash'd, To ^olus a constant sacrifice, Thro' every change of all the varying skies. And what was he who bore it ? I may err, But deem him sailor or philosopher. Sublime Tobacco ! which from East to West Cheers the tar's labour, or the Turkman's rest ; Which on the Moslem's ottoman divides His hours, and rivals opium and his brides ; Magnificent m Stamboul, but less grand. Though not less loved, in Wapping or the Strand ; Diving in hookahs, glorious in a pipe. When tipp'd with amber, mellow, rich, and ripe ; Like other charmers, wooing the caress. More dazzlingly wnen daring in full dress ; Yet thy true lovers more admire by far Thy naked beauties — give me a cigar ! The Island. With my pipe in one hand, and my jug in the other, I drink to my neighbours and friend ; All my care in a whiff of tobacco I smother, For life, I know, shortly must end. 54 POEMS IN RMAISE A Shield of Adamant. For tack o* Tobacco, I'd die; For cigars O ! my stars , How I cry ! For a smoke is the shield Before which troubles yield — Enabling us cares to defy ! E. H. Epitaph On a young lady who desired that Tobacco might be planted^ over her grave. Let do cold marble o'er my body rise — But only earth above, and sunny skies, Thus would I lowly lie in peaceful rest, Nursing the Herb Divine from out my breasts Green let it grow above this clay of mine, Deriving strength from strength that I resign. So in the days tc come, when I'm beyond This fickle life, will come my lovers fond, And gazing on the plant, their grief restrain In whispering, " Lo ! dear Anna blooms again ! ** The Patriotic Smoker's Lament^ Tell me, shade of Walter Raleigh, Briton of the truest type, "When that too-devoted valet Quenched your first-recorded pipe> r OF TOBACCO. 35 Were you pondering the opinion, As you watched the airy coil, That the virtue of Virginian Might be bred in British soil ? You transplanted the potato : 'Tvvas a more enduring gift Than the wisdom of a Plato To our poverty and thrift. That respected root has flourished Nobly for a nation's need ; But our brightest dreams are nourished Ever on a foreign weed. For the deepest meditation Of the philosophic scribe, For the poet's inspiration, For the cynic's polished gibe. We invoke narcotic nurses In their jargon from afar : I indite these modest verses, On a polyglot cigar. Leaf that lulls a Turkish Aga May a scholar's soul renew. Fancy spring from Larranaga, History from honeydew. When the teacher and the tyro Spirit- manna fondly seek, 'Tis the cigarette from Cairo Or a compound from the Greek. But no British-born aroma Is fit incense to the Queen : Nature gives her best diploma To the alien nicotine. C 2 36 POEMS IN PRAISE We are doomed to her ill-favour ; For the plant that's native grown Has a patriotic flavour Too exclusively our own. O my country, could your smoker Boast your "shag," or even ** twist," Every man were mediocre Save the blest tobacconist ! He will point immortal morals, Make all common praises mute. Who shall win our grateful laurels With a national cheeroot ! The St. Jameses Gazette. Ode to the Weed. When happy quite and cosy grown, I feel for meditation ripe, I need companionship, and so I take a pipe. When from the irksome cares of life I pine to be removed far, They vex no longer if I light, A good cigar. I realize what Eden was, (Or some faint semblance of it get) When " she " is with me, and I light A cigarette. Ah me ! how much the spirits bless Mankind. I fail when I begin OF TOBACCO. 37 To count thy many gifts to me Sweet " Nicotin." I wonder oft as I enjoy Thy calm delights (and calm indeed), How they can call thy resting place By name '* a weed. " O, may the world in all its ills, Ne'er have this greatest to confess, That is, that it should e'er become Tobaccoless. R. W. Essex. Amourettes of a Smoker. I FLIRTED first with cigarettes One windy, wild March day ; But found their fire, like fair coquettes, Too soon consume away. And then I wooed the mild cheroot, As balmy as the south ; Inserting, after much dispute. The big end in my mouth. Awhile I dallied with cigars, Havanna's ripe brunettes ; And wafted incense to the stars, In blue and spiral jets. Shag, bird's-eye, twist, and negro-head This infant doth eschew ; And cavendish he hath "cut " dead : But '* Chaciin d son gout.'' 38 POEMS IN PEAISE One Christmas on an ottoman I sat, and some turkey A fair girl brought me in a can — Ister, a duck was she ! I bought a pipe, with amber tip, Of Mosps Abrahams ; Alas ! one day 1 let it slip — I'll love no more mere-shams ! Now, all my youthful amours o'er, I'm wed, and every day With smoking holocausts adore An idol made of clay. George Hill. A Farewell to Tobacco. May the Babylonish curse Straight confound my stammering verse, If I can a passage see In this word-perplexity, Or a fit expression find, Or a language to my mind (Still the phrase is wide or scant), To take leave of thee, Great Plant ! Or in any terms relate Half my love or half my hate : For I hate, yet love thee, so, That, whichever thing I show, The plain truth will seem to be A constrain'd hyperbole, And the passion to proceed More from a mistress than a weed. Sooiy retainer to the vine. OF TOBACCO. 39 Bacchus' black servant, negro fine ; Sorcerer, that makest us dote upon Thy begrimed complexion, And for thy pernicious sake, More and greater oaths to brealc Than reclaimed lovers take 'Gainst women : thou thy siege dost lay Much too in the female way, While thou suck'st the labouring breath Faster than kisses or than death. Thou in such a cloud dost bind us, That our worst foes cannot find us, And ill fortune, that would thwart us, Shoots at rovers, shooting at us ; While each man, through thy heightening steara, Does like a smoking Etna seem, And all about us does express (Fancy and wit in richest dress) A Sicilian fruitfulness. Thou through such a mist dost show tis, That our best friends do not know us. And, for those allowed features, Due to reasonable creatures, Liken'st us to fell Chimeras — • Monsters that, who see us, fear us ^ Worse than Cerberus or Geryon, Or, who first loved a cloud, Ixion. Bacchus we know, and we allow His tipsy rites. But what art thou. That but by reflex canst show What his deity can do. As the false Egyptian spell Aped the true Hebrew miracle 40 POEMS IN PRAISE Some few vapours thou may'st raise, The weak brain may serve to amaze, But to the reins and nobler heart Canst nor life nor heat impart. Brother of Bacchus, later born, The old world was sure foilorn Wanting thee, that aidest more The god's victories than before All his panthers, and the brawls Of his piping Bacchanals. These, as stale, we disallow, Or judge of thee meant : only thou His true Indian conquest art ; And, for ivy round his dart The reformed god now weaves A finer thyrsus of thy leaves. Scent to match thy rich perfume Chemic art did ne'er presume Through her quaint alembic strain, None so sovereign to the brain. Nature, that did in thee excel, Framed again no second smell. Roses, violets, but toys. For the smaller sort of boys, Or for greener damsels meant ; Thou art the only manly scent. Stinking'st of the stinking kind. Filth of the mouth and fog of the mind, Africa, that brags her foison, Breeds no such prodigious poison, Henbane, nightshade, both together. Hemlock, aconite — Nay, rather, OF TOBACCO. 41 Plant divine, of rarest virtue ; Blisters on the tongue would hurt you. 'Twas but in a sort I blamed thee, None e'er prosper'd who defamed thee ; Irony all, and feign'd abuse, Such as perplex'd lovers use At a need, when, in despair To paint forth their fairest fair, Or in part but to express That exceeding comeliness Which their fancies doth so strike. They borrow language of dislike ; And, instead of Dearest Miss, Jewel, Honey, Sweetheart, Bliss, And those forms of old admiring, *Call her Cockatrice and Siren, Basilisk, and all that's evil, Witch, Hyena, Mermaid, Devil, Ethiop, Wench, and Blackamoor, Monkey, Ape, and twenty more : Friendly Traitress, Loving Foe, — Not that she is truly so. But no other way they know A contentment to express. Borders so upon excess, That they do not rightly wot Whether it be pain or not. Or as men, constraint to part, With what's nearest to their heart, While their sorrow's at the height, Lose discrimination quite, And their hasty wrath let fall. To appease their frantic gall. On the darling thing whatever, 42 POEMS IN PRAISE Whence they feel it death to sever, Though it be, as they, perforce, Guiltless of the sad divorce. For I must (nor let it grieve thee, Friendliest of plants, that I must) leave thee. For thy sake, Tobacco, I, Would do anything but die, And but seek to extend my days Long enough to sing thy praise. But, as she, who once hath been A king's consort, is a queen Ever after, nor will bate Any tittle of her state Though a widow, or divorced. So I, from thy converse forced. The old name and style retain, A right Katherine of Spain : And a seat, too, 'mongst the joys Of the blest Tobacco Boys ; Where, though I, by sour physician. Am debarr'd the full fruition Of thy favours, I may catch Some collateral sweets, and snatch Sidelong odours, that give life Like glances from a neighbour's wife ; And still live in the by-places And the suburbs of thy graces ; And in thy borders take delight An unconquer'd Canaanite. Charles Lamb. TO the very dear and well-beloved of my prosperous and evil days — To THE Friend who, though, in the early stages of our acquaintanceship, did ofttimes disagree with me, has since become to be my very warmest comrade — To THE Friend who, however often I may put him out, never (now) upsets me in revenge — To THE Friend M'ho, treated with marked coldness by all the female members of my household, and regarded with suspicion by my very dog, nevertheless, seems day by day to be more drawn by me, and, in return, to more and more impregnate me with the odour of his friendship — To THE Friend who never tells me of my faults, never wants to borrow money, and never talks about himself — To the companion of my idle hours, the soother of my sorrows, the confidant of my joys and hopes — My oldest and strongest PIPE, This Little Volume is gratefully and affectionately dedicated. (Dedication to "The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellov/, a Book for an Idle Holiday." By Jerome K. Jerome, London, Field & Tuer, 1887.) OF TOBACCO. 45 POEMS ON THE PIPE, Hail ! social pipe — thou foe lo care, Companion of my elbow chair ; As forth thy curling fumes arise, They seem an evening sacrifice — An offering to my Maker's praise, For all His benefits and grace. Dr. Garth. Sonnet to a Pipe. (1690.) ** Doux charme de ma solitude, Brulante pipe, ardent fourneau ! Qui purges d'humeur mon cerveau, Et mon esprit d' inquietude. Tabac ! dont mon ame est ravie, 46 POEMS IN PRAISE Lorsque je te vols te perdre en I'air, Aussi promptement q'un eclair, Je vols I'image de ma vie ; Tu remets dans mon souvenir, Ce qu'un jour je dois devenir, N'etant qu'une cendre animee ; Et tout d'un coup je m'aper9oi, Que courant apres ta famee, Je passe de meme que toi. " Attributed to Esprit de Raymond, Comte de Modene. Translation of the above. •' Sweet smoking pipe, bright glowing stove, Companion still of my retreat, Thou dost my gloomy thoughts remove, And purge my brain with gentle heat. •' Tobacco, charmer of my mind, When, like the meteor's transient gleam Thy substance gone to air I find, I think, alas ! my life the same. *' What else but lighted dust am I ? Thou show'st me what my fate will be ; And when thy sinking ashss die, I learn that I must end like thee." To A Pipe of Tobacco. Come, lovely tube by friendship blest, Belov'd and honour'd by tlie wise, Come, fill'd with honest Weekly^s best, And kindled from the lofty skies. OF TOBACCO. 47 While round me clouds of incense roll, With guiltless joys you charm the sense, And nobler pleasures to the soul, In hints of moral truth, dispense. Soon as you feel th' enlivening ray, To dust you hasten to return ; And teach me that my earliest day. Began to give me to the urn. But ttio' thy grosser substance sink To dust, thy purer part aspires ; This when I see, I joy to think That earth but half of me requires. Like thee myself am born to die, Made half to rise and half to fall. O ! could I while my moments fly. The bliss you give me, give to all. From The Gentleman's Magazine. July, 1746. Choosing a Wife by a Pipe of Tobacco. Tube, I love thee as my life ; By thee I mean to chuse a wife, Tube, thy colour let me find. In her skin and in her mind Let her have a shape as fine ; Let her breath be sweet as thine : Let her, when her lips I kiss, Burn like thee, to give me bliss : Let her in some smoke or other, All my failings kindly smother. Often when my thoughts are low^ 48 POEMS IN F RAISE Send them where they ought to go. "When to study I incline Let her aid be such as thine : Such as thine her charming pow'r, In the vacant social hour Let her live to give delight, Ever wann and ever bright : Let her deeds, whene'er she dies, Mount as incense to the skies. From The Gentleman's Magazine. 1757. Translation of a German Song. When my pipe burns bright and clear, The gods I need not envy here ; And as the smoke fades in the wind, Our fleeting life it brings to mind. Noble weed ! that comforts life, And art with calmest pleasures rife ; Heaven grant thee sunshine and warm rain, And to thy planter health and gain. Through thee, friend of my solitude, With hope and patience I'm endued. Deep smks thy power within my heart, And cares and sorrows all depart. Then let non-smokers rail for ever ; Shall their hard words true friends dissever ? Pleasure's too rare to cast away My pipe, for what the railers say ! OF TOBACCO. 49 When love grows cool, thy 5 re still warms me. When friends are fled, thy presence charms me ; If thou art full, though purse be b^re, I smoke, and cast away all care I The Pipe of Tobacco. Why should life in sorrow be spent. When pleasure points to the road Wherein erich traveller with content May throw off the ponderous load? And instead, in ample measure, Gather fruits too long lelt ripe ; What's this world without its pleasure? What is pleasure but a pipe? See the sailor's jovial state, Mark the soldier's noble soul ; What doth heroes renovate ? What refines the splendid bowl ? Is it not tobacco dear, That from the brow fell grief can wipe? Yes ! like them with jo.Hy cheer, I find pleasure in a pipe. Some are fond of care and grief, Some take pleasure in sad strife, Some pursue a false belief — I'-ew there are that enjoy life, D 50 POEMS IN PRAISE Some delight in envy ever, Others avaricious gripe ; Would }Ou know our greatest pleasure? 'Tis a glowing social pipe. (Printed by W. J, Shelmerdine, about 1794.) From Logan's Pedlar^ s Pack of Ballads. La Pipe de Tabac. CoNTRE les chagrins de la vie. On one, " Et ab hoc et ab hac ; '* Moi, je me crois digne d'envie, Quand j'ai ma pipe et mon tabac. Aujourd'hui, changeant de folie, Et de boussole et d'almanach, Je prefere fille jolie, Meme h. la pipe de tabac. Le soidat bailie sous la tente, Le matelot sur le tillac ; Bientot lis ont I'ame ccntente, Avec la pipe de tabac. Si pourtant survient une belle A I'instant le coeur fait tictac,. Et I'amant ouolie aupr^s d'elle Jusqu'a la pipe de tabac. Je tiens cette maxime utile De ce fameux monsieur de Crac : En campagne^ comme k la ville, Fetons I'amour et le tabac. Quand ce grand homme allait ea guerre^ U portait dans son petit sac, Le doux portrait de sa bergfere, Avec la pipe de tabac. PlGAULT LeBRUN. (1755— 1835. OF TOBACCO. 51 Content and a Pipe. Contented I sit with my piut and my pipe. Puffing sorro-v and care far away, And surely the brow of grief noihino can wipe Like smoking and moist'ning our clay ; For, though liquor can banish man's reason afar, 'Tis only a fool or a sot, "Who with reason or stnse would be ever at war, And don't know when enough he has got. For, though at my simile many may joke, Man is but a pipe — and his life but smoke. Yes, a man and a pipe are much nearer akin Than has as yet been understood. For, until with breath they are both fill'd within, Pray tell me for what are they good ? They, one and the other, composed are of clay. And, if rightly I tell nature's plan. Take but the breath from them both quite away. The pipe dies and so does the man : For, though at mv simile many may joke, Man is but a pipe — and his life but smoke. Thus I'm told by my pipe that to die is man's lot, And, sooner or later, die he must ; For when to the end of life's journey he's got, Like a pipe that's smoked out— he is dust : So you, who would wish in your hearts to be gay. Encourage not strife, care, or sorrow, Make much of your pipe of tobacco to-day, For you may be smoked out to-morrow : For. though at my simile many may joke, Man 13 but a pipe — and his life but smoke. D 2 52 POEMS IN PRAISE To THE Tobacco Pipe, Dear piece of fascinating clay ! 'Tis thine to smooth life's rugged way, To give a happiness unknown, To those — who let a pipe alone ; Thy tube can best the vapours chase, Bwaising — others in their place ; Caiwgive the face staid wisdom's air, And teach the lips — to ope with care ; 'Tis hence thou art the truest friend, (Where least is said there's least to mend,) And he who ventures many a joke Had better oft be still and smoke. Whatever giddy foplings think, Thou giv'st the highest zest to drink When fragrant clouds thy fumes exhale. And hover round the nut-brown ale, Who thinks of claret or champagne ? E'en burgundy were pour'd in vain. 'Tis not in city smoke alone 'Midst fogs and glooms thy charms are known. With thee, at morn, the rustic swain Tracks o'er the snow-besprinkled plain, To seek some neighb'ring copse's side. And rob the woodlands of their pride ; With thee, companion of his toil. His active spirits ne'er recoil ; Though hard his daily task assign'd. He bears it with an equal mind. The fisher, 'board some little bark. When all around is drear and dark OF TOBACCO. 53 With shortened pipe beguiles the hour, Though bleak the wind, and cold the show'r ; Nor thinks the morn's approach too slow, Regardless of what tempests blow. Midst hills of sand, midst ditches, dykes, Midst cannons, muskets, halberts, pikes ; With thee, as still. Mynheer can stay, As Neddy 'twixt too wisps of hay ; Heedless of Britain and of France, Smokes on — and looks to the main chance. And sure the solace thou canst give, Must make thy fame unrivalled live, So long as men can temper clay, (For as thou art, e'en so are they,) The sun mature the Indian weed, And rolling years fresh sorrows breed ! From The Meteors. London : A. & J. Black. iSoo. Says the Pipe to the Snuff-box. Says the Pipe to the Snuff-box, " I can't understand What the ladies and gentlemen see in your face, That you are in fashion all over the land, And I am so much fallen into di-sgrace. "Do but see what a pretty contemplative air I give to the company — pray do but note 'em, — You would think that the wise men of Greece were all there Or, at least, would suppose them the wise men of Gotham. ** My breath is as sweet as the breath of blown roses, While you are a nuisance where'er you appear ; 54 POEMS IN PRAISE There is nothing but snivelling and blowing of noses, Such a noise as turns any man's stomach to hear." Then lifting his lid in a delicate way, And opening his mouth with a smile quite engaging, The Box in reply wa^ heard plainly to say, " What a silly dispute is this we are waging ! " If you have a little of m.erit to claim, You may thank the sweet-smelling Virginian weed ; And I, if I seem to deserve any blame. The before-mention'd drug in apology plead. " Thus neither the praise nor the blame is our own No room for a sneer, much less a cachinnus ; We are vehicles not of tobacco alone. But of anything else they may choose to put in us." William Cowper, 1782. La Femme et la Pipe. Plain s-moi, Philippe, mon ami ; Le sort me traite en ennemi. Un instant mon ame charmee Sut se caresser de fumee ; Un instant m'enivra I'amour : Helas ! tout a fui sans retour. Suis-je doncne po^r le malheur, Philippe? J'ai perdu ma ftmme et j'ai casse ma pipe. Ah ! combien je rejrette ma pipe ! Ma femme etait blanche de peau, Ma pipe etait comme un ccrbeau ; Ella etait simple et pas begueule ; OF TOBACCO. 55 Je m'en servais en br^le-gueule : Avec elles deux je chaufiais Mon lit, mes doigts et mon palais ! Suis-je done ne pour le malheur, etc. La femme veut des petits soins, Et la pipe n'en veut pas moins : Je bourrais ma chere compagne D'amour, de gateaux, de champagne ; Je bourrais ma pipe souvent Du fameux tabac du Levant. Suis-je done ne, etc Dans le quartier etait cite Notre charmante trinit^. Quand dans la rue ou sur les places Tous trois nous etalions nos graces, L'une sur mon bras se pressait, L'autre h, ma bouche se plaijait. Suis-je done ne, etc, Quand, par un caprice h. blamer. Ma fcmme me faisait fumer, Moi, j 'avals alors un principe ; Je prenais ma blague et ma pipe, Et, las de fumer au moral, Je savourais mon caporal. Suis-je done ne, etc. Ma femme avait bien des appas, Et ma pipe n'en manquait pas. Que sa jupe etait bien portee ! l3ieu ! qu'elle etait bien culottee ! J'embrassais I'und en musulman, Je fumais l'autre en A-llsmand. Suis-je done ne, etc. 56 POEMS IN PRAISE Conclusion ConsoJante. — Mon cher Fumard, pour ton chagrin II est un baunie ; c'est du vin ! La femme pour qui tu sanglotes, Souvent te tirait des carottes, Et grace a la pipe, au tabac, Se dessechait ton estomac. — Tu ciois! allons, verse-mci done, Philippe, Verse-moi I'oubli de ma femme et ma pipe } Ah ! pourtant je regrette ma pipe ! A Pot and a Pipe o'p Tobacco. Some praise taking snuff, And 'tis pleasant enough, To those who have got the right knack, oh ? But give me, my boys. Those exquisite joys, A pot and a pipe of tobacco. When fume follows fume To the top of the room, In circles pursuing their track, O ! Hew sweet to inhale The health-giving gale, Of a pipe of Virginia tobacco. Let soldiers, so bold, For fame, or for gold. Their enemies cut, slash, and hack, O t We have fire and smoke Though all but in joke, In a peaceable pipe of tobacco. OF TOBACCO. 57 Should a mistress unkind, Be inconstant m mind, And on your affections look black, O ! Let her werritt and tiff 'Twill blow off in a whiff, If you lake but a pipe of tobacco. The miserly elf Who, in hoirdi pg his pelf, Keeps body and soul on the rack, O ! Would he bless and be blest He might open his chest. By taking a pipe of tobacco. Life's short, 'tis agreed So we'll try from the weed, Of man a brief emblen to tack, O ! When his spirit ascends. Die he must — and he ends la dust like a pipe 'jf tobacco ! To AN Old Pipe. Once your smoothly-polished face Nestled lightly iu a case ; 'Twas a jolly, cosy place, I surmise ; And a zealous subject blew On your clieeks, until they grew To the fascinating hue Of her eyes. 58 POEMS IX PRAISE Near a rusty-liilted sword, Now upon my mantle-board, Where my curios are stored, Y ou recline. You M^ere pleasant company when By the scribbling of her pen I was sent the ways of men To repine. Tell me truly (you were there When she ceased that debonair Correspondence and affair) — I suppose That she laughed an