THE ROBERT E. COWAN COLLECTION 
 
 I'K KSKNTl.cn TO Till. 
 
 Accession 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 15V 
 
 C. P. HUNTINGTON 
 
 JUNE. 1897.- 
 
 6 Class No..?.. 1 
 
REGOLSTEIN, 
 
 A COMEDY 
 
 
 
 
 Translated and altered from the French text of the Buffoon Opera, 
 
 "ThE GRAND DUCHESS OF GEROLSTEIN, " 
 
 By H. Meilhac and L. Halevy. 
 
 BY JOHN S. HITTELL, 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 
 A BRIEF HISTORY OF CULTURE," "THE RESOURCES OF CALIFORNIA. 
 ETC., ETC. 
 
 SAN Ffc AN CISCO: 
 
 A..ROMAN&CO. . 
 
 1878. 
 
REGOLSTEIN, 
 
 A COMEDY 
 
 Translated and altered from the French text of the Buffoon Opera, 
 
 "THE GRAND DUCHESS OF GEROLSTEIX," 
 
 By H, Meilhac and L. Halevy. 
 
 BY JOHN S. HfTTELL, 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 
 ;< A BRIEF HISTORY OF CULTURE," "THE RESOURCES OF CALIFORNIA," 
 ETC., ETC. 
 
 SAN FRANCISCO: 
 
 A, ROMAN & CO., 
 
 1878. 
 
TRANSLATOR'S PREFACE. 
 
 Col. Kurtz and Marks are the only characters which I have added 
 to the list in "The Grand Duchess." The scenes between the Grand 
 Duchess and Grog and the Grand Duchess and Fritz at the beginning 
 of the Fourth Act, are mine. The minor changes in the plot and 
 dialogue are numerous, but it is not necessary to mention them here. 
 
 The translation of the songs of the Grand Duchess, are copied from 
 the text as published in Boosey & .Co.'s edition. 
 
 J. S. H. 
 SAN FRANCISCO, March 15, 1878. 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 Grand Duchess of Regolstein. 
 
 Iza, Olga, Amelia and Charlotte, her maids of honor. 
 
 Nepomuck, her Aid-de-camp. 
 
 Baron Puck, her Prime Minister. 
 
 General Bourn, Commander of her Army. 
 
 Col. Kurtz, His Chief of Staff. 
 
 Fritz, a Private Soldier, afterwards General. 
 
 Marks, a Private Soldier. 
 
 Prince Paul, Betrothed to the Grand Duchess. 
 
 Baron Grog, embassador of Prince Paul's Father. 
 
 Wanda, Betrothed of Fritz 
 
 Soldiers, Peasant Girls, etc. 
 
 Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1878, by JOHN S. HITTELL, 
 in the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 
 
OF 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 ACTL 
 
 SCENE I. A military camp, with tents. 
 
 KURTZ Entering at the middle left. Here comes General 
 Bourn. He can tell me whether there is anything in these rumors. 
 
 BOUM Entering at rig?it rear. You have heard the glorious 
 news, Colonel ? Advances and takes his hand 
 
 K I have had no official information. 
 
 B The Princess has declared war against the Prince of Dick- 
 bauck Coburg. He crosses to the left. 
 
 K That means work for us ! 
 
 B Excitement ! Triumph ! Glory ! Who thinks of the 
 work ? He crosses to the right, rubbing his hands. 
 
 E Aside. Not those who never do any. Aloud. Is it to be 
 an offensive or a defensive campaign? 
 
 B Offensive. We'll, chop them into mince meat. He draws 
 his sword and cuts the air ivith it. How soon can you be ready to 
 march ? 
 
 . K In a week. 
 
 B That will do. I depend on you. 
 
 K I suppose we will leave about the fourth of our troops in 
 garrison, so as to have a force to fall back upon in case of disaster. 
 
 B Not a man ! We'll take them all with us. I want every 
 man to witness my triumph. I would take the civilians along, too, 
 if I could. He goes out. 
 
 K If that old tool has his way, we'll be ruined. \ et if I made 
 any complaint to the Grand Duchess or Baron Puck, I would be 
 cashiered. All the influence is reserved for the nobility. 
 
 Enter Fritz and Marks. 
 
 FRITZ Good morning, cousin. 
 
 K Good morning, Fritz. Have you kept your promise about 
 the books ? 
 
 F No ; I hate them, and I have no time for study when I'm 
 off duty; the girls always want my attention. 
 
 MARKS Frirz is a devil of a fellow among the girls. They 
 are all in love with him. Even the Grand Duchess noticed him. 
 Her chambermaid told me her Highness said he was the hand- 
 somest soldier Fhe had ever seen. 
 
 K Aside. I wonder whether anything is to be made out of 
 that. 
 
 .M Come, Fritz, Wanda and Kate are waiting for us. 
 
 K Fritz will soon follow you. I want to speak with him for 
 a few minutes. 
 
Marks goes out. 
 
 F Now, cousin, don't keep me long. 
 
 K Have you ever been where the Grand Duchess could see 
 yon? 
 
 F Yes, I have carried messages to the palace several times for 
 General Bourn. 
 
 K Did you ever deliver any message to her in person. 
 
 F Yes, several. 
 
 K Did she notice you ? 
 
 F I thought she looked a second time. 
 
 K I will have several messages to send to her Highness to- 
 day, and I want you to carry them. Be as neat in your dress, and 
 as polite in your manner as you can 
 
 F What's up ? 
 
 K The Grand Duchess is a young and giddy woman, and 
 Baron Puck takes care to let nobody save dried up old men or 
 that simpleton Prince Paul come near her, and she might take a 
 notion to admire you. 
 
 F That would not do me any good. 
 
 K Let me manage the matter. Tell me everything. Do 
 nothing without my advice, and don't blab. 
 
 F Anything to please you, especially if you will secure that 
 promotion to Corporal for me. 
 
 K You shall have it, and more. How soon can you be here 
 to c^.rry a message for me to the Palace ? 
 
 F In an hour. 
 
 K I shall expect you. Aside. Its hoping against hope, but 
 it can't be worse. Other Princesses, that have ten times as much 
 sense as the Grand Duchess, have fallen in love with common sol- 
 diers before to-day. 
 
 Kurtz goes out at the right rear ; Wanda enters at left front. 
 
 WANDA Oh, Fritz ! Your departure makes me miserable 
 
 F Don't grieve. I'll come back with promotion and better 
 pay. 
 
 W But maybe you'll be wounded, or even killed? Gan't you 
 get the General to make you stay here in the garrison ? 
 
 F No indeed, he hates me. 
 
 W Why ? 
 
 F Because you love me. 
 
 W I'll ask for you. 
 
 F Then I'll be certain to go. Here he conies. 
 Enter Bourn. Wanda goes out. 
 
 B Women in camp again ! I must stop this license. 
 
 F Aside. There is the old meddler. 
 
 B Soldier, have you no respect for discipline. 
 
 F Not enough to keep out of love. 
 
B None of your impudence. Have'nt you learned that when 
 you speak to your General, you must indicate your obedience. 
 
 F My General asked me a question about human nature, and 
 I answered it truthfully with all respect and obedience to my com- 
 mander. 
 
 B I ana afraid that notwithstanding your show of politeness, 
 you are disposed to be unruly. 
 
 F You say that because Wanda hates you and likes me. 
 
 B What do I care about Wanda ? 
 
 F She told me all about it. 
 
 B Aside. The little blab. Aloud. There was nothing to tell. 
 
 F I only know what she told me. 
 
 B She wants you to believe that all the men are in love with 
 her ; women all tell such stories. 
 
 F Young women have bad taste; they like young soldiers 
 better than old generals. 
 
 B If you are not more respecttul I'll put you in the guard 
 house. 
 
 F I don't care. 
 
 B I will have you shot 
 
 F That would be wicked 
 
 B You're a*0"bad soldier. 
 
 F I'm a handsome fellow and you're not. That's what galls 
 you. 
 
 B Shut your mouth. 
 
 F I'll keep on thinking. 
 
 B I never gave a thought to Wanda. 
 
 F Even thoughtless people can run after women. 
 
 NEPOMUCK Entering. [To the General'] General 
 
 B Tell me that you announce the approach of the enemy ; 
 tell me some news that will inspire my martial soul with joy. 
 
 N My message is from the Grand Duchess ; she requests me 
 to say that she will be here within an hour to review her army. 
 She wishes to have a tent erected for her in the midst of the camp. 
 He goes out. 
 
 B Soldier Fritz ! 
 
 F Aside Always Fritz. Aloud. Sir? 
 
 B Mount guard here. Permit nobody to cross this line with- 
 out the countersign. Points out two stations. 
 
 F Mount guard out in the sun ? 
 
 B Do you want to stay in the tent ? 
 
 F What am I to guard ? 
 
 B The site of the Grand Duchess' tent. 
 
 F Oh, I see ; it might run away. 
 
 B I'll give you a lesson one of these days about talking 
 back to your General. 
 
 F I hope somebody will give a lesson to my General about 
 thinking forward. 
 
6 
 
 Bourn goes out. 
 
 F That's a nice way for a General to treat a poor soldier who 
 can't talk back. I can't comprehend these generals, neither can 
 the girls. They like epaulets, feathers, and buttons, but those are 
 not enough. No, indeed. They like amiable young men, whether 
 they have buttons or not. And then the grum old General teases 
 the lucky young soldier. That's always the way, and always 
 was, and always will be. 
 
 WANDA Entering. Attention. 
 
 F Turning. Attention it is. 
 
 W Well, here I am. 
 
 F And here I am. 
 
 W What's the matter with you ? 
 
 F I am on guard and must not leave this place. Discipline. 
 
 W Pettishly. Stay there then. Starts to go. 
 
 F Stop. Drops his musket, runs after her and brings her back. 
 
 W What's to become of discipline? 
 
 F We'll have the rules amended. No discipline when alone 
 with a pretty girl. 
 
 W Why didn't you come to me at first 
 
 F I may be shot for abandoning my post. 
 
 W There's nobody to see. 
 
 F Looking round. That's so. We must not waste the oppor- 
 tunity. He hugs her. 
 
 W Stop. That's contrary to discipline. 
 
 F-^-I'll take my chances. Kisses her. 
 
 W You'll be shot. 
 
 F Not till I take another kiss. Kisses her again, 
 
 BOUM Entering. Hallo ! Is that the way you obey order ? 
 
 F Picks up his mmket, paces to and fro. I took Wanda to 
 represent the tent of the Grand Duchess. 
 
 B And I suppose you would be willing to mount guard for- 
 ever with her ? 
 
 F Please assign that duty to me. 
 
 B You ought to be ashamed of being surprised that way. 
 
 F It was the first strategy you ever succeeded in. 
 
 W General, don't be angry. Goes up to him and strokes his 
 chin. He smiles, wriggles, leers, and pushes her away. 
 
 B Go away, you little witch. There can't be any discipline 
 when you're about. Aside. Come back when Fritz isn't here. 
 A shot is heard. Wanda faints. Fritz catches her in his arms. 
 
 B What the devil's that ? 
 
 F Shall I take her to her mother ? 
 
 B Yes, yes ; take good care of her. 
 
 F Ah, general, you do love her. 
 
 B Go ! Go ! k 
 
 Fritz takes her away. 
 
PUCK Entering, running, doubled up, and with a look of 
 fright. Ah, my dear General, 
 
 B What's the matter ? 
 
 P They demanded the countersign, and as I was absorbed in 
 high problems of diplomacy, I neglected to answer, and 
 
 B Bang ! 
 
 P That's it. Bang ! The sentinel shot at me ! At me ! 
 Yes, sir, at me ! 
 
 B That's his duty. 
 
 P He missed me. 
 
 B He'll hang for that. 
 
 P For not hitting me ! 
 
 B It makes the army ridiculous. 
 
 P You wish he had killed me. 
 
 B As a General, yes. Discipline before everything ; but as a 
 friend, shaking his hand, No. To whom do I owe the pleasure of 
 this visit ? 
 
 P Something very delicate. You know that it is the custom 
 of statesmen to neglec^ nothing that can inspire the army with 
 enthusiasm at the beginning of a campaign. 
 
 B Of course. 
 
 P I have devised a very ingenious plan. The Grand Duchess 
 is to visit the camp. 
 
 B She has sent me word. 
 
 P She will spend a day or two here. 
 
 B I have selected a site for her tent. 
 
 P She likes music and siogs well. I know you, too, can sing. 
 On some suitable occasion, offer to sing the Song of the Regiment 
 to the army before her. 
 
 B You natter me ! It will be a triumph. 
 
 P She will sing it with you. 
 
 B With me ! How happy you make me. It will be a double 
 triumph. 
 
 P Don't neglect your opportunity. 
 
 B Leave that to me. 
 
 P Now, let's attend to other business. Offers him his snuff- 
 box. Do you indulge ? 
 
 B Bah ! Not in that weak stuff. Draws a double-barrelled 
 pistol from his belt, fires off both barrels, and smells at them with 
 each nostril. That's the snuff for a soldier. 
 
 P Snuffing. You understand why we made war ? 
 
 B I suppose it was to defend the honor of the nation. 
 
 P Not in the least. You must know that the Grand Duchess, 
 our Sovereign, and my pupil, for I have been her preceptor He 
 takes off his hat, looks at it, starts, and seems about to faint. Oh, 
 Lord! 
 
 B What's the matter ? 
 
 P Look there. The bullet hole. Pointing at it. 
 
8 
 
 B Not a very bad shot, after all. 
 
 P It makes me sick to think of it How lucky it was I had 
 my hat on. That saved me. 
 
 B Put it on quick. 
 
 P Putting it on with a jump and looking around. Are they 
 going to shoot again ? Getting behind Bourn. 
 
 B No. You're safe here. 
 
 P Well, the Grand Duchess, you see, is twenty years of age, 
 and she has left the power to us ; but lately she has been restless 
 and moody. Our power is in danger. She is beginning to think. 
 
 B Beginning to think ! That's frightful. And a young 
 woman, too. 
 
 P Yes, its bad enough in an old one. 
 
 B And what is she thinking about ? 
 
 P Shall I address an official communication to her? Can't 
 you guess ? Pokes the General in the ribs. 
 
 B You do not mean ! 
 
 P Yes, a husband. 
 
 B Is that all ? That's natural enough. 
 
 P It may be natural for her, but it's dangerous for us. When 
 a woman begins to think, look out for trouble. The Duchess 
 wants something to occupy her thoughts. Her doll and her book 
 are played out. She thinks the season has come for a husband. 
 Seasons are dangerous She has an ambition beyond that of 
 eating and drinking. She wants to do something for her country. 
 
 B That's natural. 
 
 P Oh she is a woman, and no mistake. The company of her 
 dressing maid is not enough to entertain her. 
 
 B We're ruined. 
 
 P No, the case is not hopeless. 
 
 B What's to be done ? 
 
 P You know I arranged a marriage for her with Prince 
 Paul, the third son of the Grand Duke of Krauser Kohl. 
 
 B But what would become of us then ? 
 
 P I took care of that. Prince Paul has not more than 
 enough sense to perform the physical functions of life ; he can get 
 up in the morning ; dress, eat, and remember the ordinary Court 
 ceremonial, and that's about all. Before speaking for him, I went 
 to see him ; told him of my influence, and made a bargain with 
 him that it' I got her to marry him, he was to leave all the political 
 power to me, and all the military to you. 
 
 B A thousand thanks. 
 
 P Yes, I thought it safer to secure the power which we have 
 held now without a quarrel for nearly twenty years. 
 
 B Thanks. Thanks. 
 
 P Well, you see, I arranged the match ; I told the Grand 
 Duchess that he was a handsome fellow, and that important polit- 
 cal considerations demanded that she should marry a Prince of 
 
UNIVERSITY 
 9 
 
 Krauser Kohl ; and when any other Princes or nobles that might 
 be dangerous came about, I managed to keep her away from them, 
 and to tell her what scamps they were. 
 
 B Why don't you marry her yourself ? 
 
 P Sbe won't let me. She has taken a dislike to Prince 
 Paul. She wants to look round for another husband. She has 
 been talking of visiting the Courts of Vienna and Berlin. 
 
 B That's dangerous. 
 
 P So I thought, and I wrote to the Grand Duke of Krauser 
 Kohl to send an embassador with authority to sign a treaty flying 
 the political questions involved in the marriage. He sent Baron 
 Grog, but she learned his purpose, and refused to receive him. 
 
 B More dangerous yet. 
 
 P Something had to be done, and quick. It will not do to 
 waste time when you're dealing with an impatient woman. 
 
 B Slapping him on the shoulder. You understand human 
 nature. 
 
 P So I declared war. 
 
 B I do not understand. 
 
 P To amuse her ! x 
 
 B Amuse a woman with war? 
 
 P Certainly ; she can't go to Vienna or Berlin now ; she will 
 spend her time in the camps and hospitals ; if we conquer, our 
 power is confirmed; if we are defeated, the Grand Duke of Krauser 
 Kohl will interfere to prevent a complete conquest, and then the 
 Grand Duchess must marry Prince Paul out of gratitude. 
 
 B Shaking his hand. You're the greatest statesman of the 
 age. 
 
 P Ah, my friend, if you only knew what an amount of deep 
 thought I have spent in the extensive combinations involved in all 
 my plans for the preservation ot our interests. 
 
 B You're a wonderful man. 
 
 P You have no idea, how much study and the multitude 
 of dictionaries and maps I had to consult to ascertain the bound- 
 aries of the nations that might be disturbed by the hostilities, and 
 the dozens of almanacs and court registers, to get the full titles of 
 the dignitaries with whom I have corresponded. 
 
 B You inspire me with awe. 
 
 Drums are heard at a distance. 
 
 P What's that ? 
 
 B Excitedly. The enemy ! The enemy ! Where is my 
 army? 
 
 Enter Nepomuck. 
 
 B Where is the enemy ? 
 
 NEPOMUCK I have not heard of the enemy. I have come 
 to announce the approach of the Grand Duchess. 
 
 B It is well ; order the soldiers under arms. 
 
10 
 
 N Yes, General. He goes out at the right rear entrance. 
 P Then everything's understood. The song to-day ; the 
 departure of the army next week. 
 
 B After that, a return in triumph. 
 P And we are confirmed in power. 
 
 The army enters at the right rear entrance, extending from 
 there to the left front. Wanda and the peasant girls enter from both 
 sides and take places behind the soldiers. Fritz is in the ranks. Puck 
 has passed to the right 
 
 BOUM Order arms! They obey. Carry arms. They obey. 
 
 Military music strikes up. The Grand Duchess, in a military 
 riding dress, whip in hand, enters at the right rear, with her maids 
 of honor in similar dress. 
 
 B Present arms ! They obey. Duchess passes to the front. 
 Carry arms ! They obey. 
 
 DUCHESS Looking intently at Fritz. Aside. Here's that 
 handsome soldier again. I must review my army often. Aloud. 
 General ? 
 
 B Your HighnesS? 
 
 D I am delighted with the appearance of my troops They 
 do credit to their commander. 
 
 B Thanks, your Highness. 
 
 D I have been advised that they will enter the campaign 
 with better spirits if I sing to them 
 
 B The advice is excellent. Shall I order them to be at rest? 
 
 D If you please. 
 
 B To soldiers. Order arms ! Soldiers obey. Rest ! They 
 obey. 
 
 Duchess sings : "I Dote on the Military." 
 
 "Oh, I dote on the military, 
 
 Dote on the military, 
 
 Dote on the military 
 
 With their uniforms so bright ; 
 
 Their moustache and trappings light. 
 
 Oh, I dote on the military, 
 
 Dote on the military, 
 
 Dote on the military, 
 
 Their dauntless mien. 
 
 Their manners airy, 
 
 When I view my troopers rare, 
 
 With martial fire animated; 
 
 Eyes right, attention there, 
 
 Jove, with pride I feel elated, 
 
 Whether or not they'll thrash the foe. 
 
 Why, I can't tell, but this I know, 
 
11 
 
 Why, I can't tell, but this I know, 
 
 Why, I can't tell, but this I know. 
 
 Oh, I dote on the military, 
 
 I dote on the military, 
 
 Dote on the military, 
 
 Yes, on the military I dote 
 
 Could I have my little way 
 
 I'd enlist as a vivandiere, 
 
 Their wants tending all the day. 
 
 With drinks I'd make them gay. 
 
 Then brave as steel and light as air 
 
 To the fight ! to the fight ! I would march away, 
 
 If war would seem such fun when there, 
 
 IJ war would seem so nice, 
 
 Would seem so nice. 
 
 But this I'll say, I cannot tell, 
 
 But this I'll say, I cannot tell, 
 
 But this I'll say, 
 
 I dote on the military. 
 
 Dote on the military, 
 
 Dote on the military, 
 
 With their uniforms so bright, 
 
 Their moustache and trappings light. 
 
 Oh, I dote on the military. 
 
 Their dauntless mien is all, 
 
 Is all my delight. 
 
 Oh, 1 dote on the military, 
 
 Their uniforms so bright, 
 
 Moustache and trappings light. 
 
 Oh, I dote on the military, 
 
 Their unifoims so bright, 
 
 Moustache and trappings light, 
 
 Oh, I dot", on the military, 
 
 Oh, I dote on the military, 
 
 On the military I dote." 
 
 All Hurrah for the Grand Duchess. 
 
 B Attention, carry arms ! They obey. 
 
 D Stepping foi^ward and looking at Fritz. General ? 
 
 B Your Highness ? 
 
 D Order this soldier, pointing at Fritz, to advance. 
 
 B Calling soldier at Fritz's right. Schwartz step forward. 
 Schwartz 'makes three steps forward. 
 
 D Not that one, the other. 
 
 B Addressing one on other side of Fritz. Schumacher, step 
 forward. 
 
 Schumacher begins to step forward. 
 
 D No, not that one. 
 
12 
 
 B Pointing at Fritz. This one ? 
 
 D Yes, that one. 
 
 B Fritz, three steps forward. 
 
 D Your name ? 
 
 F Fritz. 
 
 D How many campaigns ? How many wounds ? 
 
 F No campaign, no wound, except once when I wae climbing 
 over a wall to nip some apples but, perhaps that don't count. 
 No, I have no wound, decidedly no wounds. 
 
 D Private soldier ? 
 
 F A mere private. 
 
 D I promote you to corporal. 
 
 F Ah ! He starts to run to Wanda. 
 
 B Stops him. Potz donner wetter. 
 
 F Beg pardon. He goes back to his place. 
 
 D Where were you going ? 
 
 F To tell my sweetheart of my promotion. 
 
 D Your sweetheart ? 
 
 F Yes, indeed. 
 
 D Tell her that you are a sergeant. To Bourn : Dismiss 
 your army. 
 
 B Break ranks and leave us. 
 
 D Why leave us ? No, let them stay here ; they are my 
 soldiers. 
 
 PUCK Well said, your Highness ; well said. 
 
 D Stay my friends, stay and let us talk a little. 
 
 The soldiers advance a little; the peasant girls come forward, 
 Wanda in front. The Grand Duchess sits on a drum offered to her 
 by a vivandiere. Puck passes to near Bourn, and Fritz, after putting 
 down his musket, goes to the right. 
 
 P Low to Bourn. Did you observe how her Highness fixed 
 her eyes on that young soldier ? 
 
 B Low. Yes, but we can't suppose 
 
 P Low. You can suppose anything. I have been the pre- 
 ceptor of the girl, and she is as headstrong as the devil. 
 
 B Low. The devil she is. Let's watch her. 
 
 P Low. Yes, watch her. Hepasses to the left. 
 
 D Turning to Fritz. Come here. 
 
 F Approaching. Your Highness. 
 
 P Low to Bourn. There she goes again. 
 
 B Low to Puck. Yes, I see. Looking at Fritz. I will make 
 it warm for him. 
 
 D To Fritz. Is your sweetheart satisfied ? 
 
 F Yes, your Highness. 
 
 D Are you and your comrades well treated ? 
 
 F Yes, tolerably. 
 
 D Well fed? 
 
13 
 
 F Yes, we have enough potatoes. 
 
 D And the officers, are they kind to the soldiers ? 
 
 F Yes, all save the General, he is severe. 
 
 D Is that so ? 
 
 B But, your Highness 
 
 D Let Fritz tell his story. 
 
 F The General is very severe to me, but it is on account of 
 the girls. 
 
 D The girls ? 
 
 F Yes, your Highness. 
 
 B No disrespect to your commander. 
 
 D Speak, Fritz. General, do not interrupt him. 
 
 F Yes, he ran after my sweetheart, and she gave him the 
 cold shoulder. 
 
 D 1 8 everybody in love with your sweetheart? Is she so 
 pretty ? 
 
 F Pointing at her. There she is. 
 
 D Tell her to come here. 
 
 F Here Wanda ! Beckoning to her. She is shy. Come here. 
 She's afraid. She's not like us soldiers. 
 
 Wanda comes forward in front of the Duchess and courtesies. 
 
 D Does this fellow love you ? 
 W Timidly. I believe so. 
 D And do you love him. 
 W Oh yes, I'm sure of that. 
 
 D Indeed! Aside. Oh, what a pain To Fritz. Did I 
 tell you you are a lieutenant ? 
 F No, your Highness. 
 
 Duchess rises with her maids of Honor. Wanda returns to her 
 
 place. 
 
 D Well, I tell you now. 
 
 General astonishment. 
 
 F Thanks, your Highness. 
 
 P Low to Bourn. Headlong, as well as headstrong. 
 
 B Low to Puck Take it easy. I will put him at the head of 
 a charging party in the first battle. 
 
 D It's warm. To her maids of honor: Are you not thirsty ? 
 
 IZA Yes, your Highness. 
 
 D So am I. 
 
 P I will send for some wine. 
 
 D Why send ? I will share the drink of my soldiers. 
 
 B But they drink 
 
 D What the commissary furnishes. I want to try it. To a 
 vivandiere at the left: Come here vivandiere and give me a drink. 
 She pours out a little. Fill to the brim. Another vwandiere pours 
 out for the Maids of Honor. 
 
 ^ U* 15 "*fty^v 
 
 / OF TMB J >V 
 
 I XJNIVERSITY 1 
 
14 
 
 Soldiers, I drink to your success to your happy return. 
 She drains her glass. 
 
 ALL Hurrah for the Grand Duchess f 
 
 P Low to Bourn. It's a wonder how I've managed her for 
 years. If you don't look out she will take the chief command in 
 the field, 
 
 B Low to Puck. I think the time has come for the Song. 
 
 P Low to Bourn. A good idea. 
 
 B Going up to the Duchess. Would your Highness like to 
 hear the Song of the Regiment. 
 
 D Certainly. 1 can sing it, too. 
 
 B Is it possible ? 
 
 D I shall be glad to sing it for my soldiers. 
 
 B They will consider it a great honor. 
 
 D Let us commence. 
 
 B Preparing to sing. Hem I Hern ! 
 
 D Did you think of singing it with me ? 
 
 B If your Highness will permit. 
 
 D A commanding General ! Oh, no ; that would be undig- 
 nified. To Fritz. Can you sing the Song of the Regiment ? 
 
 F Yes, your Highness. 
 
 D Come here and sing it with me. 
 
 B You do not intend ? 
 
 D Turning towards him. Intend what ? 
 
 B To sing with a lieutenant ? 
 
 D A lieutenant ? Is the rank too low ? I make him a cap- 
 tain then. Is that sufficient ? To Fritz. You shall be my chief 
 of staff. 
 
 Wanda in a delighted manner, comes forward, passes to the 
 right near Fritz and congratulates him. 
 
 Bourn, lowing in a constrained manner, passes to the left. 
 
 D To Fritz. Come, Captain, sing with me. 
 
 The Maids of Honor come forward, Iza and Charlotte at the 
 left, Olga and Amelia at the right, Fritz goes to the side of the Grand 
 Duchess, Peasant Girls place themselves on the right and left. The 
 Duchess and Fritz sing the Song of the Regiment. 
 
 Oh, what a gallant regiment 
 
 Is this regiment, the Grand Duchess' 
 
 Whene'er to catch the foe they're sent 
 
 They, on their nobs, like a shot rattle down, 
 
 By honor ruled in sentiment, 
 
 Its lass as victory, by name is known. 
 
 They say the hussars aren't so bad 
 And show more than one tidy lad ; 
 With helmet of steel, polished bright. 
 The dragoons make a pretty sight. 
 All know in the artilleree 
 
15 
 
 Brav boys you as any may see, 
 But none can e'en a rushlight hold 
 To the regiment you now behold. 
 Whack-row-de-dow. 
 
 Where'er its proud standard's unfurled, 
 It don't matter where in the world, 
 It lights the girls' fa;-es with smiles 
 The men howsomdever, it riles. 
 When it again is enroute, 
 Then on t'other leg is the boot, 
 It makes the men all beam with smiles 
 The girls howsomdever it riles. 
 W hack-row-de-do w. 
 
 Then let the drums all rattle, 
 And let all the trumpets ring, 
 
 We'll sing the Go 1 of the Battle, 
 And the God of Love we'll sing. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 SCENE I Camp as in the first act. 
 Kurtz and Fritz. 
 
 KURTZ Taking Fritz's hand. Well, cousin, I congratulate 
 you on your promotion. 
 
 FRITZ How did you manage it ? 
 
 K I did not manage it. 
 
 F You promised it, and it came. What are the duties of the 
 Chief of Staff of her Highness ? 
 
 K I think more civil than military, so do not fail to be very 
 civil. Be careful with your dress and your manners. Com- 
 ply with the wishes of the Grand Duchess before she expresses 
 them. You will be her companion and escort everywhere. Do 
 not be afraid to take precedence of Puck and Bourn. She's tired 
 of them. And do not forget the main point, about Bourn's plan 
 of the campaign. Induce the Duchess to examine it, and then, 
 if you have a chance, explain its defects as I have explained them 
 to you. Its risky, but it's better than a disgraceful campaign. 
 Here comes the Grand Duchess now. If you have an opportunity 
 do not let it slip. He goes out at the left front. 
 
 Grand Duchess enters at the right rear with her Maids of Honor. 
 
16 
 
 DUCHESS Captain, I am delighted to see you in your new uni 
 form. It fits admirably. Let me introduce you to iny Maids of 
 Honor. She leads him past them and she names each. He shakes hands 
 with them. Returning to the front of the Stage. To Fritz Are you 
 ready to go to the war ? 
 
 F I am impatient for the battle in which I shall prove that I 
 am worthy of your favor. 
 
 D You wish to leave me ? 
 
 F Not after I have established my right to your regard. 
 
 D You would risk your life. 
 
 F Anything for such a sovereign. 
 
 D Could I not accompany my army? 
 
 F That depends on the plan of the campaign. 
 
 D_Who has it ? 
 
 F The Commanding General never starts on a campaign 
 without a plan. 
 
 D I will tell him to show it to me. 
 
 F You can order him to explain it to you and discuss it be- 
 fore you. 
 
 D That's so, I like the idea. 
 
 NEPOMUCK Entering at the right rear. Your Highness. 
 
 D What is it ? 
 
 N Madame, Prince Paul has been stopped at the boundary of 
 the camp for want of the Countersign, with Baron Grog. Will you 
 give the order that they shall be admitted ? 
 
 D III humoredly. I'm tired of Prince Paul. 
 
 ^ What is the order of your highness ? 
 
 D Well, you may bring the Prince into camp, but without 
 any Grog. Tell Grog to go home. Nepomuck goes out by the right 
 rear entrance. This Prince is a bore, but I must receive him. Cap- 
 ain leave me and come back in fifteen minutes. 
 
 Fritz goes out. 
 
 PRINCE PAUL Entering with Nepomuck as usher, at the right 
 rear, dressed as a bridegroom with a large' bouquet of orange blossoms, 
 and advancing with a piteous air. Well, your Highness, shall it be to 
 day? 
 
 D Looking at him. But Prince, what does such a dress mean? 
 
 PR P Ah it attracts your notice ! It is the dress of a bride- 
 groom. I have put it on in the hope to decide you. 
 
 D To marry you to-day ? That's impossible my dear Prince. 
 I have too much business to look after; a plan for the campaign 
 to examine and an army to send off. I never shall have leisure to 
 marry. 
 
 PR P You are always full of excuses. 
 
 D Are they not good ones ? 
 
 PR P You have been putting me off for six months with your 
 good excuses. This morning, Baron Grog, the messenger of my 
 
17 
 
 love, whom you would not admit into your presence, received a 
 letter from my papa. 
 
 D And what did your papa's letter say. 
 
 PR P He said this match is beginning to bore him. I left h is 
 court six months ago, to come here to marry you ; he gave me a 
 large allowance so that I can act the part of yoifr betrothed with 
 dignity. And after spending my allowance I do not marry you. 
 That bores my papa. He would like to have an end of the non- 
 sense. 
 
 D Of your nonsense ! 
 
 PR P If your highness does not intend to marry me my papa 
 will find some other Grand Duchess for me. 
 
 D Tell your papa that it's all right; this marriage will come 
 to pass some time or other. 
 
 PR P That's what you always say. My engagement has been 
 announced diplomatically to all the courts of the globe, and the 
 universe has its eyes on me, the universe has, and it thinks I am 
 cutting a critical figure. 
 
 D Looking at him and laughing. The fact is that if the uni- 
 verse had its eye on you now 
 
 PR P And besides there is something that touches my honor 
 still more. 
 
 D You don't say so! 
 
 PR P Taking a small newspaper from his pocket. Look at this, 
 your highness. 
 
 D What is it? 
 
 PR P It's a public journal printed in Holland. A dutch news- 
 paper 
 
 D I don't see anything horrid in that. 
 
 PR P Oh but you would if you would read it. It dares to 
 speak of me. Of late years a set of men have made it their mission 
 to discuss everything, to pass judgment on everything, just to in- 
 terest the people. They are called journalists. They dare to speak of 
 private affairs, and what is worse of my private affairs. Listen to 
 what this Amsterdam Advertiser says: 
 A Duchess to wed 
 
 Prince Paul started out, 
 But she takes her time 
 And he's in a pout. 
 He dances attendance, 
 
 Besets her with prayers; 
 Months come and months go, 
 
 She listens and stares. 
 Each morning at dawn 
 He dresses in white, 
 And begs but in vain. 
 
 She tells him next year 
 She'll see him again. 
 
18 
 
 Court circles are laughing, 
 They laugh one and all, 
 
 At the vain wooing 
 Of luckless Prince Paul. 
 
 That's what they say of me in the the Amsterdam Advertiser, 
 and all the other dam advertisers. 
 
 D Laughing heartily. You should not be angry at that. It's 
 very funny. 
 
 PR P I'ts not funny o me. 
 
 FRITZ Entering at tJie right front entrance. Here I am your 
 highness. 
 
 D Prince, this is my Chief of Staff, Capt. Fritz. Look at him 
 Prince and tell me what you think of him ? 
 
 PR P Oh he'll do for a Captain. 
 
 D That's what I think. Shouldn't I be proud to have such 
 soldiers. To Fritz. Captain: 
 
 F Your Highness. 
 
 I) Pointing to the tent. Tell General Bourn and Baron Puck 
 that I am waiting for them . 
 
 F I will tell them. Goes into the tent. 
 
 PR P Your Highness? 
 
 D Impatiently. Are you going to bother me again ? 
 
 PR P You do not fix the day. 
 
 D What can I say ? So soon as the cares of Government 
 allow me a minute for my personal enjoyment, 1 ihall devote it to 
 our marriage. 
 
 Puck, Bourn and Fritz enter at the right front. Soldiers bring 
 in a table and four seats, put the table near the middle of the stage, 
 a little to the left; putting two seats on tlie left of the table, one on the 
 right, and the other behind. A military map is placed on the table, 
 The soldiers go out. 
 
 DUCHESS Let us now examine General Bourn's plan of the 
 campaign. To Prince Paul. I hope, Prince, you will aid us with 
 your counsel. 
 
 PR P Pouting. If you insist. 
 
 D Poor fellow, he is out of humor. 
 
 PR P That's so, you always want me to bother with your 
 council. 
 
 D Is not that natural ? And, since you are to be my husband, 
 should you not have the privilege of the position ? 
 
 PR P I would be glad to have all but the political ones, and 
 they are all you offer me. 
 
 D Angrily. What do you mean ? 
 
 PR P Aside. I'm afraid to speak. He goes off to the left. The 
 Duchess seats herself at the left of the table. 
 
 D Tak seats, gentlemen. Bourn seats himself before the 
 table, and Puck at the right. To Fritz. You, Captain Bourn 
 motions to him to retire. You will stay here as my guard. 
 
19 
 
 Fritz walks up &nd down. Bourn and Puck exchange looks of 
 dissatisfaction. 
 
 HOUM Looking at Fritz. But I do not know whether I should 
 develop ray plans. 
 
 D Don't be uneasy on that account, General, speak. 
 B My plan is very simple, your Highness. It is based on 
 the main point on the art of war : to divide and surround. 
 D As you would a piece of ginger cake ? 
 B Exactly, your Highness. Then, for the purpose of divid- 
 ing and surrounding the enemy, I divide my company into three 
 corps. 
 
 P That's well devised. 
 
 B One will inarch to the right. Drawing a line on the map 
 with Us finger. 
 
 PR P Excellent. 
 
 B Another will march to the left. Making the line with his 
 finger. 
 
 P Admirable. 
 
 B And the third will march straight forward. 
 PR P A wonderful plan. 
 
 B My army, thus arranged, will march by three separate 
 roads to the point of concentration, and there I will crush the enemy. 
 D Where is the point of concentration ? 
 
 B I do not know; but I will find out after I crush the enemy. 
 Furiously. Yes, I will crush the enemy. I will take all his flags 
 and canons, and have a big army of prisoners, and there must be 
 a grand triumph when we return. Furiously. Yes, I am deter- 
 mined to crush the enemy. Strides up and down, flourishing his 
 sword 
 
 D Restrain yourself, General, the battle has not commenced. 
 P To Bourn. I beg you. 
 B I tell you I will crush the enemy. 
 D I admit that, but take it quietly. 
 
 B Excitedly. It's for my sovereign and my country. Where 
 is the enemy ? I will crush him. Lead me to the enemy. 
 
 Puck induces him to sit down. 
 D To Puck. You approve the plan ? 
 P It's excellent. \ 
 
 D To Prince Paul. What do you think of it? 
 PR P Admirable 
 
 D To Fritz. And, Captain, what do you think of it ? 
 P To the Or and Duchess. Permit me to say, respectfully, 
 that it is contrary to established rule for a captain to take part in a 
 council of war held by the sovereign. 
 B It's contrary to military law. 
 P And to civil law. 
 
 PR P It's a privilege that should be reserved for nobles. 
 D-~As you agree upon this point you must be right. 
 
20 
 
 P We are right, your Highness. 
 
 D What are the qualifications for taking part in a council ? 
 
 P Noble rank and the office of general or minister. 
 
 PR P Or prospective husband. 
 
 P Certainly. 
 
 D To Fritz. Captain, I create you Baron Von Bierfoss, and 
 promote you to the office of General in my army. To Puck. Please 
 make out his commission and patent of nobility to day. Must he 
 wait till they are issued before he can share in our council ? 
 
 P Submissively. No, your Highness. He passes to Paul's 
 right. Low to Paul. This beats the devil. 
 
 PR P Low to Puck What's to be done ? 
 
 P Low to Paul We must have a consultation. 
 
 B Your Highness ? 
 
 D I would prefer to hear the opinion of General Fritz. 
 
 B But, your Highness, he has not learned anything about 
 the plan since he became a General. 
 
 D No matter about that 
 
 Bourn rises and passes to the right. 
 
 D To Fritz. Take a seat, General, pointing to the seat pre- 
 viously occupied by Bourn. 
 
 Puck obsequiously conducts Fritz to the seat. Fritz sits down. 
 
 F-It would be unwise to use the whole army for an invasion ; 
 one-fourth should stay behind as a reserve ; and it would be a mis- 
 take to divide the army into three equal divisions to march on 
 parallel roads. The enemy could defeat each separately before one 
 division could help another. If your Highness desires, I can refer 
 you to the histories of great campaigns, showing the folly of divid 
 ing armies before the enemy, and of making invasions without a 
 reserve. 
 
 D You have read those books ? 
 
 F Some of them, and I can give your Highness the volume 
 and page to-morrow. 
 
 B When a soldier begins to read, he's unfit for obedience. 
 
 F And if a General don't read, he's unfit to command. 
 
 D Looking at his dress. General, your collar is too high. 
 Tell your tailor to take off about half an inch so ap to show more 
 of your neck. Go on my /riend. So you would not divide the 
 army ? 
 
 F I say that we should march for the enemy by one road, 
 attack them as soon as we meet, and thrash them, if we can. 
 That's all. He rises. 
 
 D Rising, also Puck and the Prince. That's a good plan; you 
 should adopt it, General Bourn. 
 
 B Passing near Fritz. I will not adopt it. 
 
 D How's i hat ? 
 
21 
 
 B I am responsible to your Highness for the blood of your 
 soldiers. With my plan I was sure of the result No blood would 
 be spilled. He turns to Puck and speaks low to him, while the Grand 
 Duchess approaches and overhears. I know General Larekop on the 
 other side, and I would arrange with him so that there should be 
 nothing but little skirmishes. 
 
 P Low to Bourn. That's the way. I would not make peace 
 for three or four years, and not being able to go to Berlin or Vienna, 
 she would at last be worried into marrying Prince Paul. 
 
 B Low to Puck. That's the only safe policy for us. 
 
 D Aside. A nice plot. I will get rid of both of them. Aloud 
 to Bourn. Then you refuse ? 
 
 B I refuse. Let the Baron Von What's-his name What ? 
 What was the title your Highness gave him ? 
 
 F To Bourn. Baron Von Bierfoss, if you please. To the 
 Duchess. He remembered my title well enough. He is putting 
 on airs. 
 
 B Let the Baron Von Bierfoss carry out his own plan if he 
 likes He passes to the right. 
 
 P Certainly, 
 
 D Do you think you could win a victory ? 
 
 F Either that, or lose it, like other Generals. 
 
 D Baron Von Bierfoss ? 
 
 F Your Highness ? 
 
 D Heaven guard you and your army. I appoint you Gen- 
 eral-in-Chief of all my troops. 
 
 F To Bourn. Give me that plume. 
 
 B Potz tausend donner wetter. 
 
 Puck quiets him, takes away the plume, puts it in Fritz's hat. 
 Bourn in despair sticks in his hat the little cockade taken from Fritz's 
 Jiat. 
 
 FTo Bourn. Bah ! What a bad soldier ! 
 
 B Furiously. Hold me, somebody. 
 
 P Passing to Bourn's left and catching Bourn. Keep quiet ; 
 there are three ot us against him. We'll crush him yet. 
 
 D Looking at Fritz. Aside. How handsome he is. Aloud . 
 General Fritz, I will present you to my army. General Bourn, 
 order out the entire army for review. 
 
 B I under his orders ! 
 
 TJie soldiers who brought in the table and chairs carry them 
 away. 
 
 P Low to Bourn. Obey. She has set her heart on this fellow. 
 That's what I feared. 
 
 Bourn goes to the right rear entrance, makes a sign to the out- 
 side, and returns to the right front. Grand military command re- 
 peated at a distance. The drums beat, the soldiers enter from the 
 right rear, take their muskets and place themselves in two ranks at 
 
22 
 
 the rear, facing the public, the drummers at their left. Nepomuck 
 precedes them near the middle of the stage, behind the Grand- 
 Duchess. The Maids of Honor come out of the tent and place them- 
 selves at the left front. The peasant girls enter from the right and 
 left and take stations on loth sides of the stage. Wanda enters on 
 the left, stands before the peasant girls, a little behind Prince Paul. 
 Prince Paul rejoins Bourn and Puck at the extreme right. The 
 vivandieres are at the head of their respective platoons. 
 
 DUCHESS To General Bourn. Call the attention of the army. 
 
 BOUM Attention, soldiers ! Carry arms ! TJiey obey. Pre- 
 sent arms! They obey. Carry arms! They obey. Order arms! They 
 obey. Eyes right ! They obey. Eyes left ! They obey. Eyes front ! 
 They obey. Attention to the Grand Duchess. 
 
 D Advancing. Listen to the command of your sovereign. I 
 introduce to you your new Commander-in-Chief, General Fritz, 
 Baron Von Bierloss. 
 
 ALL Hurrah for General Fritz. 
 
 D He will lead you to victory. 
 
 ALL Hurrah for Victory. 
 
 B Low to Puck and Paul. The dirty rabble, they used to 
 cheer for me. 
 
 PUCK Low to Bourn and Paul. We'll see that he's defeated. 
 
 PR PAUL Disgusting. Society and religion are going to the 
 devil. To think of putting a common soldier in command of 
 nobles and gentlemen 
 
 F Attention, soldiers ! Carry arms ! TJiey obey. Present 
 arms! They obey. Carry arms! TJiey obey. To the Duchess. 
 Shall I dismiss them ? 
 
 D Not yet. Nepomuck, bring me the banner. Nepomuck 
 goes out at the right front, and comes back from the right rear witJi 
 a banner. 
 
 FRITZ Present arms ! TJiey obey till Nepomuck has reached 
 the left front. Carry arms ! They obey. 
 
 D General Fritz, this is the grand banner of my State, I en- 
 trust it to the care of yourself and your brave soldiers Let it take 
 part in all your battles. 
 
 F Soldiers, this is the symbol of our fidelity to a beloved sov- 
 ereign, and of duty to eur families, our friends, and ourselves. 
 Having served with you in the ranks, and being familiar with 
 your training, feelings and courage, I know you will bring back 
 this banner with new lustre from the fields of blood. You will 
 swear sincerely and willingly to defend it. Kneel with me. They 
 kneel on one knee. Now, your highness, we are ready to take 
 such oath as you may propose to be faithful to the flag. 
 
 D Do you each for himself swear to be true to this emblem 
 of your duty to the honor and independence of your country ? 
 ALL We swear. 
 
23 
 
 D Rise. They rise. Thanks, my brave soldiers. I feel that 
 you will be true, and when you come back from a glorious cam- 
 paign I promise you that besides the reward which you will have 
 in your own self-respect, you shall have an abundant recompense 
 in the smiles and embraces of those whose sex prevents them from 
 taking part in your honorable and dangerous service. She gives the 
 banner to Fritz. 
 
 F Ensign? The Ensign comes forward. In your especial 
 care I place this national banner. Ensign returns with it to the 
 ranks. To the Duchess. Shall I dismiss the army now ? 
 
 D Not yet. To Nepomuck. Bring me the sword. 
 
 Nepomuck goes out at the right. The Grand Duchess motions 
 to Write to come near her. 
 
 ALL What does this mean ? 
 
 Nepomuck enters carrying a sword in loth hands, with great 
 respect. 
 
 ALL A sword ! 
 
 D To Fritz, showing the sabre. I have a personal trust for 
 you; the other was for the army. This is the sabre which my 
 father wore in many hard fought campaigns ; it is a symbol of the 
 sovereign power which he left ; it is the dearest heirloom of my 
 dynasty. While the fate of my country depends upon your gen- 
 eralship, I wish you to wear it, and let a glance at it remind you 
 of her who intrusted it to you and inspire you with devotion to her 
 cause. I give you the sabre of my sire, and the blessing of his 
 daughter. 
 
 She takes the sabre; Fritz on one knee before Tier accepts the 
 sabre reverentially, kisses it, rises, takes off his other sword and puts 
 on this one. 
 
 F Although I am only a rude soldier, I appreciate the honor 
 done me, and I would ra T her die than be false to my sovereign, 
 even if she were not so beautiful, gracious and illustrious as she 
 is. Your Highness can depend upon me and these brave fellows. 
 They will give a good account of themselves, even if they must be 
 defeated. 
 
 ALL Hurrah for General Fritz ! 
 
 D I hope for the best, 
 
 F I will bring back the sword in honor or die with it. 
 
 D Speak not of your death ; the thought of it makes me un- 
 happy. You will return in triumph. I feel like celebrating the 
 victory in advance. Let me sing tke song of the sabre. She sings 
 The Sabre of My Sire. 
 
 " Lo, here the sabre of my sire, 
 
 Take thou and hang it at thy side. 
 High does thy valiant soul aspire 
 
 Well may this sword become thy pride 
 
24 
 
 Lo, here the sabre of my sire, 
 
 Take thou and hang it at thy side, 
 
 Thy star, I fear not, may it's fire 
 
 Thee well and hearty homeward guide. 
 
 When first to battle pa was starting, 
 If what he said may be believed, 
 
 From my dear mother, ere departing, 
 This dreadful weapon he received. 
 
 For in the battle should'st thou perish, 
 
 I very much begin to doubt, 
 If I by all that I most cherish 
 
 [I had well nigh let something out.]" 
 
 Lo, here the sabre, etc. 
 
 Curtain falls. 
 
 ACT III. 
 
 A hall in the Palace. At the right front, a door leading 
 to the apartments of the Grand Duchess. At the right middle 
 a secret door hidden by a picture representing a knight in complete 
 steel, another picture opposite. A door at the left front ; at the 
 rear a bay window, with curtains, opening on a gallery. A frame 
 for embroidery on the left. 
 
 SCENE I. Iza, Charlotte, Amelia, Olga, and other Maids of 
 Honor, sitting and sewing. An usher stands at the door of apart- 
 ments of i he Grand Duchess. 
 
 IZA The news is glorious. 
 
 AMELIA The great victory fiFs everybody with rejoicing. 
 
 I The best of it is that all the officers of the General's Staff 
 are safe. 
 
 A Looking at Iza. Especially Captain Wesco. 
 
 OLGA Looking at Amelia. Yes, and Lieutenant Kaufman. 
 
 I We all have friends in the army, and we shall soon have 
 letters from them. They know how anxious we are 
 
 NEPOMUCK Entering at the left with letters, which Tie distri- 
 butes. Permit me to pass on the personal service of the Grand 
 Duchess. He goes out at the right front. 
 
25 
 
 The ladies read and kiss their letters. Enter Prince Paul, 
 Grog, Nepomuck, Bourn and Puck. 
 
 PRINCE PAUL To Grog. Come, Baron, I assure you you will 
 be received to-day. 
 
 GROG I hope so, Any Prince. 
 
 PR P You have a letter of credentials from my papa. 
 
 G Showing it. Here it is. 
 
 PR P That's all right. Good morning, ladies. He bows to 
 them. 
 
 AMELIA Laughing. Good morning, Prince Paul. 
 
 CHARLOTTE Laughing. Poor Prince. 
 
 IZA Laughing Prince, I sympathize with you. 
 
 PR P To Grog. They are mocking me. 
 
 G 1 understand them. 
 
 PR P To Grog. I cannot be angry. To the Ladies Ladies, 
 I have the honor to present to you Baron Grog, the Embassador of 
 my papa. 
 
 LADIES Courtesying. Welcome, Baron. 
 
 G Bolting. At your service, ladies. 
 
 PR P He has a letter requesting an audience to-day. 
 
 I To-day ? 
 
 PR P Certainly. Will you do me the pleasure to inform her 
 Highness that Baron Grog is here. 
 
 OLGA Prince, Maids of Honor do not carry such messages. 
 
 C You must address yourself to an aid-de-camp. 
 
 Enter Nepomuck, at right. 
 
 A Here is one. 
 
 NEPOMUCK There is great news. General Fritz will have a 
 grand reception in an hour from now in honor oi his great vic- 
 tory. Her Highness is delighted. He takes four steps forward. 
 She is highly delighted. Takes four steps forward. She is de- 
 lighted beyond measure. He crosses the stage and goes out excitedly 
 at the left. 
 
 I Joyously. They will all be here. We shall see them soon. 
 
 Bourn and Puck enter at the left. The usher follows them and 
 remains at the door. 
 
 PUCK Ladies, the Grand Duchess is waiting for you. 
 
 BOUM She waits impatiently for you. , 
 
 The ladies enter at the right. Bourn and Puck greet Prince 
 Paul. 
 
 PR P Well, what news about Baron Grog ? 
 P Make yourself easy ; he will be taken, 
 PR P What do you mean ? 
 P I mean he will be received. 
 
 B Usher, introduce the Baron, as you were instructed. To 
 Grog. You enter there. 
 
26 
 
 G Bowing. He goes to tJie door. 
 
 PR Folloiving. Now, Grog:, do not spare your eloquence. 
 Q-rog, preceded by the usher, goes out at the right. 
 
 PR P Coming back to the middle of the stage, with a pleased 
 manner. At last, gentlemen. 
 
 P At last what ? 
 
 PR P You cannot imagine how I am agitated. She consents 
 to receive Baron Grog. I see him in my mind's eye. He is now 
 passing through the grand hall ; now he enters the little reception 
 room. 
 
 B Yes 
 
 PR P He passes through the little reception room. 
 
 P Yes. 
 
 PR P He turns to the left. Bourn and Puck shake their 
 heads. He has reached the grand reception room, the door opens, 
 he is announced, he is now in the presence of the Grand Duchess. 
 
 B That's all in your eye. That's not the way of it. He did 
 not turn to the left. He turned to the right and found himself in 
 the presence of a staircase ; just now he is ascending, next he will 
 traverse half a dozen halls and be in the presence of another stair- 
 case, which he will descend. He will re-traverse, re ascend, re de- 
 scend. 
 
 P Re-ascend a second time. 
 
 PR P Re-descend a second time. 
 
 P Et cetera, et cetera, till he comes to a little door standing 
 wide open, and there Grog will find his carriage with its door 
 open, and the usher will invite him to enter and come back 
 another day. 
 
 PR P Is that the order of her Highness T 
 
 P That's her order. 
 
 PR P She has dared ? 
 
 P Of course, she dares anything. But, Prince, you must be 
 foolish. Permit me to say, with all due respect, it was very foolish 
 to suppose that Grog could have an audience at the moment when 
 her Highness was preparing to receive her victorious General 
 Fritz. She has enough to do to frizz herself for the reception. 
 
 PR P Angrily. Fritz again. Curse that Fritz. 
 
 B Maliciously. He will be here in a few minutes, and he 
 will triumph. 
 
 PR V Angrily. Well, let him triumph. But after that ? 
 
 BOUM AND PUCK What after that ? 
 
 PR P- -Nothing, nothing ; I do not mean anything. He retires 
 to the rear. 
 
 P To Bourn. He did mean something. 
 
 B Low to Puck. Let us draw him out. We'll conspire with 
 him. 
 
 P I am with you. 
 
 Cannon shots are heard. 
 
27 
 
 B Drawing his sword and flourishing it furiously. The 
 enemy ! The enemy ! I will cut them to pieces ! 
 
 P No, that's not the enemy. It's our enemy. 
 
 PR P Coming forward. It's General Fritz. 
 
 B Quietly. Pardon me, my friends, I have done nothing for 
 two weeks. I am homesick for the camp. 
 
 Iht curtains at the rear open and the Court enters preceded by 
 two ushers. After all have taken their places, the Grand Duchess 
 enters from the right, preceded by two pages, followed by her Maids of 
 Honor, who stay on the right ; tico little negroes carry the train of 
 her dress. At the sight of her, Prince Paul, Bourn and Puck rush 
 forward and make low bows to her. Two ushers bring from the right 
 the ducal cJiair, and a footstool, which they place at the right, and 
 then retire to the rear, where they stand at each side of the door. 
 The Grand Duchess seats herself in the chair, with her maids of 
 Honor on each side. Fritz enters at the rear, followed by a brilliant 
 staff, including Kurtz. He approaches the Grand Duchess and 
 bends his knee before her. She with difficulty restrains her emotion. 
 
 FRITZ Madame, in four days the campaign was commenced 
 and itoded Your soldiers won a decisive victory; we dictated 
 terms to the enemy, and I have the pleasure to return to you the 
 sabre of your sire covered with higher honor. He rises, motions to 
 an officer with the sabre to approach; takes it from him and gives it 
 to lier. 
 
 DUCHESS Welcome again, sabre of my sire. She kisses it, and 
 gices it to Nepomuck who approaches on her right. To Nepomuck. 
 Put it in my museum. To Fritz. And you, my victorious Gen- 
 eral, tell us more of your glorious exploits. 
 
 F Good luck helped us. Having a train loaded with beer, I 
 I poured some brandy into every barrel, and sent the train past the 
 key of the enemy's position. They captured the train ; the sol- 
 diers got drunk ; we attacked them, and getting a start carried 
 everything before us 
 
 D Your strategy is equal to your bravery. 
 
 F For the strategy give credit to Colonel Kurtz, the Chief of 
 my staff. 
 
 Kurtz bows. 
 
 D I thank him and will remember him. To Nepomuck. 
 Prepare the red chambers in the right wing for the use of Gen- 
 eral Fritz. To the Court. Ladies and gentlemen, this ceremony is 
 ended. The interest of our Grand Duchy require that we should 
 have some confidential conversation with General Fritz, and we 
 will now permit you to retire. 
 
 PR P Low to Puck. Alone with him ! 
 
 B Low. She don't waste time. 
 
 P To the Prince. Will you submit to this ? 
 
 PR P Low. How can I help myself? 
 
 The courtiers go out at the rear; Prince Paul, Puck arid Bourn, 
 
23 
 
 arm in arm, follow them ami close the curtains at the rear. The 
 Maids of Honor, negroes and pages go out at the right, leading the 
 Duchess and Fritz alone. 
 
 D We are alone. 
 
 F Looking round. That's so. 
 
 D General ? 
 
 F Your Highness? 
 
 D I am glad to see you again. 
 
 F So am I. 
 
 D Thanks. 
 
 F Oh, no thanks ; no cause for them. 
 
 D I congratulate myself on what I have done. When I first 
 saw you, you were only a private soldier. 
 
 F Nothing but a poor private. 
 
 D And I have made you Commander-in-chief ; and you have 
 conquered the enemy. 
 
 F By Venus, that's so. 
 
 D Shall we speak of the recompense for your services. 
 
 F If you wish, but what's the use ? 
 
 D_How ? 
 
 F I'm already Commander-in-chief, and I dont see any chance 
 for promotion. 
 
 D Think a little. 
 
 F By Venus, I can't imagine. I have the highest rank in the 
 army, and that's the end of a soldier's fancy. 
 
 D In the army that's true, but 
 
 F But what? 
 
 D There is the civil service. 
 
 F Oh ! ah ! by Venus, I don't comprehend. But if you have 
 any honor that you wish me to accept, I will take it all the same. 
 
 D In the first place you will lodge in the palace ; that was 
 decided this morning on the proposition of General Bourn. 
 
 F Laughing. On his proposition ! 
 
 D Certainly the idea occurred to him by my order. 
 
 F Laughing. It must have made him furious. 
 
 D Do you want me to banish him ? 
 
 F Oh no, he is not malicious at the bottom. Laughing. He 
 would have been a good friend to me if it had not been for the 
 girls. They made all the trouble. 
 
 D The girls. 
 
 F Yes, they make all the trouble everywhere. 
 
 D You seem to get along very well. 
 
 F Very weli, I thank you. 
 
 D I mean with the girls. 
 
 F I don't understand you. 
 
 D No matter, 
 
 F But what did you say ? 
 
29 
 
 D The peasant women. I envy them. When one falls in 
 love with a neighbor, she can go to him and tell him. 
 
 F " My dear boy, I love you." 
 
 D And give him a good slap on the shoulder for emphasis. 
 She slaps him on the shoulder. But in our sphere it is different, 
 when we fall in love, we must use circumlocution, and try to con- 
 vey the idea by hints. For example, a lady of my Court has fallen 
 in love with you. 
 
 F Of your Court ? Oh, you're joking. 
 
 D No I'm very serious, and instead of going to you and 
 telling you 
 
 F With a good slap on the shoulder. 
 
 D She has told me. 
 
 F Told you ? 
 
 D Told me. 
 
 F Then she wants an intrigue. 
 
 D No, she's serious, she wants to marry you. 
 
 F Laughing. All the women are in love with me. One 
 wanted to kiss me this morning. This new one is ridiculous. 
 
 D Angrily. How ? 
 
 F Aside The devil, she's offended. Aloud. No, I did not 
 mean that. But tell me, about this lady. Is she pretty ? 
 
 D My courtiers tell me she is very handsome. As to her 
 position, we will not speak of that. 
 
 F Why not ? 
 
 D Let us speak of yourself, of course you want to keep the 
 rank and honors which I have conferred upon you. 
 
 F Put yourself in my place. 
 
 D How would you like to have a position from which you 
 could not be removed. 
 
 F Could not be removed. I do not understand. That would 
 be a new grade. 
 
 D Well, you must know that the lady of whom I have been 
 speaking is is powerful enough to obtain for you all you want. 
 
 F By Venus, I wonder who she is. 
 
 D Your future is in her hands. Now I am sure you will 
 know whom I mean. 
 
 She passes to the left. 
 
 F One word more and I will understand. 
 
 D What word ? 
 
 F Her name ? 
 
 D Her name ? 
 
 F Yes, her name. 
 
 D It may be guessed but not spoken. 
 
 F By Venus, I'm bothered, why can't your Highness tell me? 
 
 D Smiling. Can't you guess ? 
 
 F I am not good at conundrums. 
 
 D Look at me and think. 
 
30 
 
 F She told you to tell me ? 
 
 D And your future depends on her favor. 
 
 F Tell her I am a thousand times obliged 
 
 D I will tell her. 
 
 F Tell her I would like t-t see her. 
 
 D You have seen her to-day. 
 
 F Oh, yes, one of your Court ladies ; but I would like to see 
 her alone. 
 
 D You have seen her alone. 
 
 F To day ? 
 
 D Yes, to-day. 
 
 F Oh I understand it now. 
 
 D I'm delighted you understand at last. You are a darling 
 fellow. She goes up and places her hands on his shoulders. 
 
 F Yes I understand, but I don't like her. 
 
 D Drawing back Don't like her ? 
 
 F Not a bit. She's ugly. She wanted to kiss me when I 
 went out to put on my captain's uniform. 
 
 D Who do you mean? 
 
 F That girl with a mole on her chin. I met her in the next 
 room when I came here this morning. But I did not know she 
 had any influence. 
 
 D Vexed, passes to the right then back. You're enough to try 
 the patience of a saint. 
 
 F You look like one. 
 
 D I'm nothing but flesh and blood. 
 
 F I suppose so. 
 
 D Put your arms around me and feel. 
 
 F I'm afraid; You're like the sun in the heavens to me. 
 
 D A man must never be afraid of a woman. 
 
 F I'm not afraid of Wanda. 
 
 D The plague take Wanda. I don't want to ever hear her 
 name again. 
 
 F I'll never speak of her any more. I do not think of her 
 when I'm with you. 
 
 D Sit down and be comfortable. I want to talk with you. 
 He sits, she places her hands on his shoulders and twists him to suit 
 her. She has her arms round his neck. Are you afraid of me now? 
 
 F I'm in awe of your Highness. 
 
 D Putting her hand under his chin. Am I like the sun in the 
 Heavens ? Aside. How handsome he is! 
 
 F Well if that lady has so much influence, I must go to see 
 her and and 
 
 D And what ? 
 
 F I don't know. I begin to think of Wanda. 
 
 D Wanda. Do you still think of Wanda ? 
 
 F Oh yes, when I'm not with you. 
 
 D And when you're with me ! 
 
31 
 
 F Then I can't think of anybody else ! 
 
 D Crossing to the left and sitting down. Come here to me. 
 Pointing to the foot stool at her feet. He kneels on it. So you think 
 I'm Jike the Sun in the Heaven ? 
 
 F Yes your Highness. 
 
 D Suppose the lady that loves you, would come and caress 
 you, what would you do ? 
 
 F The girl with a mole on her chin? 
 
 1) That's not the one. 
 
 F I thought yt)u said she was the one. 
 
 D Oh no ; this is a handsome lady of high position. Can't 
 you guess who she is? 
 
 F I can't imagine. 
 
 D Could you if she would hug you like this ? 
 
 F If you would tell me her name. 
 
 D You're stupid. 
 
 F I know it; that's why they made a soldier of me. 
 
 D And why do the girls all like you then ? 
 
 F By Venus I never understood. 
 
 D By Venus ? That's a nice oath. 
 
 F I don't know what it means. 
 
 D Don't kn<>w what it means? Where did you learn it. 
 
 F Wanda taught me. 
 
 D Was that all she taught ? 
 
 F Was there anything more to learn ? 
 
 D Could'nt you learn to ret urn a car ess? She passes her hand 
 over Jiis c?ieek and neck. 
 
 F Oh you tickle me. 
 
 D I beg your pardon. 
 
 F There's no offense I assure you, but 
 
 D But what ? 
 
 Enter Nepomuck. 
 NEPOMUCK Your Highness. 
 
 Fritz rises and passet to the left. 
 
 D Rising angrily. My orders to you were that no one should 
 be admitted till I called. 
 
 NEPOMUCK Advancing. Baron Stein, the chief f your detec- 
 tive police is in waiting. 
 
 I) I made no exception. 
 
 N He says his business demands your immediate attention . 
 
 D I will attend to it at another time. 
 
 N May I leave a note he gave me for your Highness ? 
 
 D Yes give it to me. He advances, delivers it, and commences 
 to retire. Stop. It may require an answer. Aside Looking at 
 Fritz. He's too stupid. I must drop him. I wonder whether 
 there's anything the matter with him. He is handsome though. 
 
32 
 
 She opens and reads the letter. Public scandal. Wanda in the 
 General's tent. That will give an excuse to break him. Aloud to 
 Nepomuck. Tell Baron Stein that he will be admitted in ten 
 minutes from this time, into the small hall. 
 
 Nepomuck goes out, 
 
 F Advancing. Your Highness. 
 
 D General your audience is closed now. She goes out at the 
 right front. 
 
 Enter Puck, Bourn and Paul. They do not see Fritz. 
 
 F Aside. I wonder what they are after. 
 
 PUCK Observing Fritz. Low to Bourn and Prince. There 
 he is. 
 
 NEPOMUCK Entering. General. 
 
 BOUM Low. He will be in our way. 
 
 F What is it Captain? 
 
 N Her highness will be busy with civil affairs for the remain- 
 der of the day. I will show you your apartments. He returns and 
 stops in the rear. 
 
 P Low to Prince Paul. In the right wing. 
 
 F Lead the way Captain. He turns to the three and bows. 
 Good day gentlemen. They bow in return. 
 
 F To Bourn. The poor private has had a little promotion. 
 
 B He didn't deserve it. 
 
 F Bah; you're no soldier. 
 
 Bourn advances threateningly. Puck catches and calms him. Fritz 
 goes out at the rear and Nepomuck follows. 
 
 P To Paul. She has assigned apartments in the right wing 
 to him. Do you understand that ? 
 
 PKINCE PAUL What ie there about the right wing ? 
 
 P It has a history. 
 
 PR P I never heard it. 
 
 P About a hundred years ago a Grand Duchess who reigned 
 in Regolstein had a plebeian lover whom she lodged in the right 
 wing. Her scandalous conduct provoked the nobility and conspir- 
 ators entered his chamber by a secret passage and assassinated him. 
 
 PR P What interest has that story for us ? 
 
 P I know that pa sage; it starts from this room. 
 
 B W< must assassinate this upstart Fritz ; a mere peasant 
 usurping offices that belong to nobility. 
 
 PR P I will hire a man in my place. 
 
 P No you must go with us. 
 
 B Yes we must make sure work of it. He draws his sword 
 and begins to whet it on the floor. 
 
 PR P Oh ! not now, I must drink a bottle of brandy first. 
 
 P No not now. 
 
33 
 
 B Putting up Ms sword. But it is agreed tliat we three shall 
 despatch him. 
 
 P It is agreed. 
 PR P Yes agreed. 
 
 Enters Grand Duchess at the rear, unobserved. 
 
 P Remember this conspiracy must be kept secret. 
 
 B Yes, yes. 
 
 PR P I want to bring in Baron Grog. 
 
 P That's all right, but as to outsiders, not a word about any 
 important event expected, no threats, no impoliteess, no change 
 in the ordinary habits: are you agreed to that ? 
 
 B and PR P Yes, yes. 
 
 P We want no women in it. 
 
 B Plague take the worm n. 
 
 P That's what I say. 
 
 DUCHESS Coming forward. I object. 
 
 P We are lost. 
 
 PR P Spare us your Highness. 
 
 D Tell me what your conspiracy is. 
 
 P Didn't you hear all the conversation ? 
 
 D Only a few sentences. You are conspiring against Gen- 
 eral Fritz, and if that is all I am willing to join you. 
 
 B Bah; hang us at @nce. 
 
 P To Duchess. You do not me'an to join us ? 
 
 D Yes I do ; I am tired of General Fritz and want an excuse 
 for breaking him. It is of no use to try to make a gentleman out 
 of him. 
 
 PR P I told you so. 
 
 D You guessed right for once. What is your plan ? 
 
 P We have not made any yet. 
 
 D Devise something as soon as you like. 
 
 P We will lose no time. 
 
 D Prince, where is the Embassador of your father? 
 
 PR P Baron Grog is waiting for an audience. 
 
 D Send him to me. 
 
 PR P When? 
 
 D Immediately if you please. 
 
 PR P May I guess your purpose? 
 
 D Yes. She gives Mm her hand. He kneels and kisses it 
 
 Puck befiind them holds up his hands to "bless them. 
 Curtain falls. 
 
34 
 
 ACT IV. 
 
 SCENE I Same Hall as in previous Act. 
 Kurtz and Fritz. 
 
 FRITZ Well cousin, are you satisfied with me ? 
 
 KURTZ You have achieved great success in a short t me. 
 
 F .And they all said at home I was a fool. 
 
 K You owe more to your good looks than your brains. 
 
 F And more to your brains than to my good looks. 
 
 K The Grand Duchess gave you a magnificent reception 
 to-day. 
 
 F But when I left she seemed to be out of humor. 
 
 K How was that ? 
 
 F I could not understand it. She gave me a private audience 
 you know, and she talked to me about a great lady of the court 
 that was in love with me, and that could give me offices that would 
 be m movable. 
 
 K That's clear enough. 
 
 F She got angry wken I spoke of Wanda. 
 
 K Jealous. 
 
 F And she wanted to know what I would do if that lady put 
 her arms round my neck as she did 
 
 K You don't mean the Grand Duchess put her arms round 
 your neck ? 
 
 F Yes ; and I wanted to know what lady it was that loved 
 me, and she would not tell. 
 
 K Perdition ! And you did not return her caress? Couldn't 
 you see she was the one that loves you ? 
 
 F The Duchess in love with me ! I am only a poor farmer's 
 son She is to marry Prince Paul. 
 
 K Only a farmer's son ! You have beauty, a charming: smile, 
 a chatty tongue, aud are in the first flush of manhood. What are 
 all the treasures of wealth and rank against such a combination 
 when a young and amorous woman has to make her choice? Did 
 you not know that the Grand Duchess was in love with you when 
 she promoted you to be Corporal ? She wants to marry you. She 
 hates Prince Paul. 
 
 F Marry me ! How should I know ? 
 
 K Curse the luck! The men are all fools with women. 
 Some are too fast and the others too slow. When you left Her 
 Highness, did she tell you when you could see her again? 
 
 F Yes. We were interrupted by a message from Baron Stein, 
 and she told me to come back in half an hour ; but afterward she 
 sent word that she could not see me to-day. 
 
 K We are on the verge of ruin. Stein. Puck, Bourn and 
 Prince Paul have been holding meetings, and they are conspiring 
 against you. Try to see the Grand Duchess immediately. Tell 
 her you were confused, but that you understand now, and you 
 
35 
 
 would like to how how you would return the caress of the lady 
 that loves you. 
 
 F And shall I do just as I would with Wanda? 
 
 K Exactly, but with more boldness. She has committed 
 herself, and you cannot go too far or too fast now. Anything 
 rather than let her love change into anger. 
 
 F She sent word that I could not see her to-day. 
 
 K If she loves you yet, she will take no offence at you for 
 seeking her company ; if she dees not, you will not command her 
 army to morrow. There is no half way with such a woman. Risk 
 your neck to see her to-day. 
 
 F I'll do it. But what is to become of Wanda ? I am to 
 be married to her to night. 
 
 K To-night ! What in the name of all the furies does it mean? 
 
 F Our wedding day was fixed for to-night while I was a pri- 
 vate soldier and we never changed it. 
 
 K But you promised before I planned your promotion that 
 you would tell me everything and follow my advice in everything. 
 
 F I supposed you meant in my conduct as a soldier and officer 
 
 K The marriage of a handsome officer may have a most im- 
 portant influence on his official life. Well, seethe Grand Duchess 
 at once and then come and tell me. If she receives you with favor, 
 confess that you are engaged to be married to Wanda to-day, and 
 she will forbid the match. That will release you. If she does not 
 receive you with favor, it does not make any difference whether 
 you marry Wanda or not. Lose no time. 
 
 They go out. 
 
 DUCHESS Entering with Nepomuck, and seating herself in the 
 Ducal Chair. I am now ready to receive Baron Grog. Nepomuck 
 goes out. I must give him an audience, but I will cut it short. I 
 hate all the men. Prince Paul is a fool every way, and I don't 
 know whether General Fritz is a fool or wants to insult me. I'll 
 punish him any how. 
 
 NEPOMUCK Entering ivith Baron Grog. Baron Grog, Embassa- 
 dor of His Serene Highness, the Prince of Krauserkohl. He goes 
 out. 
 
 D Starting. Your Excellency is welcome. Aside. He's 
 nicer than Fritz. 
 
 GROG Bowing. Thanks. 
 
 D I regret that your reception was delayed so long. 
 
 G I trust that the interests of my Prince have not suffered 
 on that account, 
 
 D Such an advocate would have much influence with me for 
 any cause. 
 
 G You are very kind. 
 
 D Do not underestimate your own value. Such a form, such 
 
 OPTHB 
 
36 
 
 a face, such a voice, suck taste in dress, such grace of manner, 
 would do cr dit to the most eminent diplomatist. 
 
 G Your liberal compliments justify me in hoping that you 
 are ready to fix the time for wedding my Prince at an early day. 
 
 D There is no immediate haste about that. As you are to be 
 at my court for awhile, I would like to know something of your 
 personal history. 
 
 G I draw a happy inference for the result of the negotiations 
 entrusted to me. 
 
 D Oh, bother the negotiations ! Talk to old Puck about the 
 business, but tell me about yourself. 
 
 G I have served my reigning Prince as Embassador at four 
 different Courts 
 
 D How old are you ? 
 
 G Thirty-five, your Highness, and have fifteen years of expe- 
 rience in the diplomatic service, part of the time as clerk in the 
 foreign office, besides 
 
 D Interrupting. Would you not like to live here better than 
 in Krauserkohl ? 
 
 G Yes, if the conditions were favorable. 
 
 D That is, if your home surroundings were satisfactory ? 
 
 G Yes, and my official station. 
 
 D You would not object to receiving favors at my hands ? 
 
 G I should be most happy. 
 
 D And you have no obligation elsewhere ? 
 
 G None, save that to my Prince, who would doubtless com- 
 ply with any suggestion, or, if I might hope so much, with any 
 wish of your Highness. 
 
 D You shall be promot-d. 
 
 G Many thanks. That is abundant reward for all I can do 
 to hasten the wedding of my Prince. 
 
 D There, you are getting off into business again. Leave that 
 till another time. What Is your rank at your home court ? 
 
 G Chamberlain . 
 
 D Only a chamberlain? Would you accept a better position 
 at my court ? 
 
 G With pleasure. 
 
 D And renounce all allegiance to Krauserkohl ? 
 
 G If your Highness desires, and will accept me as a subject. 
 
 D I do desire it. And there is nothing to prevent you from 
 entering my personal service, and devoting yourself to it entirely ? 
 
 G I am happy to say there is nothing. 
 
 D And will you fill any position in my court that I may 
 designate to you, so long as it is more honorable and lucrative than 
 that of chamberlain at Krauserkohl ? 
 
 G My obedience shall reach to adoration. You are the most 
 charming lady, as well as the most gracious sovereign, I ever saw. 
 
37 
 
 D I see that you understand me. We are congenial spirits. 
 Have you a large estate to sustain the dignity of your rank ? 
 
 G I am sorry to say that, like my Prince, I am very poor. 
 
 D I will see to that, too. You must not be afraid of n,e be- 
 cause I am a Grand Duchess. 
 
 G Love, not fear, must be the prevailing sentiment of every 
 man that sees you, 
 
 D And of every woman that sees you. 
 
 G Ah, your Highness does not mean it. 
 
 D I will prove that I do. 
 
 N Entering from the left. General Fritz and Baron Stein 
 solicit audiences. 
 
 D Do they come together? 
 
 N No, your Highness, separately. 
 
 D Tell General Fritz to come to-morrow, and say to Baron 
 Stein that I will receive him soon. 
 
 Nepomuck goes out. 
 
 D Pleasant as this interview has been to me, it must come to 
 an end. Remember that you are not to belong to Krauserkohl 
 any more. I intend to appropriate you, but keep that to yourself 
 till the decisive moment. 
 
 G I shall remember. 
 
 D I hope you will not take part in that conspiracy. 
 
 G I cannot entirely withdraw without discredit. 
 
 D Keep out of danger for my sake. 
 
 G For whose sake should I go into danger if not for yours? 
 
 D Promise me to be careful. 
 
 G I promise. 
 
 D ' 'ome to see me to-morrow morning at ten. 
 
 G I shall wait impatiently for the hour, and now take my 
 leave. He goes out. 
 
 NEPOMUCK Entering. General Fritz says he has urgent 
 business. 
 
 D I do not want to see him. 
 
 Fritz enters and advances. 
 
 D You dare to enter without my permission ? 
 
 FRITZ Your Highness. 
 
 D Not a word. Leave ! 
 
 He kneels on one knee and looks at Tier pitecusly. 
 
 D Have you forgotten how to obey orders ? 
 
 F Rising and beginning to retire. I hoped that I might say a 
 few words to my gracious sovereign. 
 
 D To Nepomuck. Tell Baron Stein that I wish to see him soon. 
 Nepomuck goes out. To Fritz I sent word to you that I could not 
 see you again to-day. 
 
 F I hoped for a little indulgence 
 
 D You have had too much. 
 
F On the day of my return from a victorious campaign. 
 
 D You have had my thanks in public 
 
 j 1 I fancied that I had your personal, as well as official favor. 
 
 D And ii you had, what would it have to do with this 
 interview ? 
 
 j? I came to ask a little service. 
 
 D_ What is it? 
 
 jr I have a message for the lady of whom you spoke to me 
 this afternoon. 
 
 D l do not remember speaking of any lady. 
 
 F -Have I offend d you beyond all hope of pardon ? 
 
 D What do yon mean? 
 
 F Your Highness said a lady of the court is in love with me. 
 
 D It must have been Wanda that told you that. 
 
 F I was confused when in your presence. I felt such an awe 
 of your Majesty ihat I forgot I was a man. 
 
 D A nice thing to forget. 
 
 F As I said your Highness was like the sun in the heavens 
 to me. 
 
 D That's what I should be to all of my subjects. 
 
 Y Save one. 
 
 D Which one? 
 
 F Kneeling The one who kneels at your feet with mortifica- 
 tion for his own blindness. 
 
 D Aside. He's much nicer than old Grog ; but I must punish 
 him a little more. A loud. Rise, General, the position is unbecom- 
 ing to a man of your rank 
 
 Y Rising. May. I not sit at your feet? 
 
 D_ Would not that be undignified? 
 
 F I want no dignity save that conferred by your smile. lie 
 seats himself on the foot-stool. 
 
 D Aside. He's a charming fellow after all. I am yfraid I 
 cannot hold out much longer. Aloud. You wish to leave a message 
 for the lady that loves you. 
 
 F Yes, and to show how I would return her caress. He tries 
 to put Ms arms round her neck. 
 
 D Taking each of his hands in one of 'her 's, but preventing him 
 from embracing her. I do not want to carry a caress to anybody 
 else. 
 
 F I do not wish you to carry it far. 
 
 D You think there will be no misunderstanding this time. 
 
 F 1 am certain there will not. 
 
 D How do you know? 
 
 F I can see it in your eyes. 
 
 D What do you see there ? 
 
 F A capacity to return affection. 
 
 D Of whom ? 
 
 F Of the man whom you promoted through every grade from 
 
39 
 
 a private soldier; who owes everything in the past and wants to 
 owe everything in the future to your bounty. 
 
 D Throicing her arms round his neck. You are my darling 
 at last. He kisses her. 
 
 F I want to be promoted to that immovable place. 
 
 D All the pains of misunderstood love are past. 
 
 F And ail the mortification of my stupid blindness. 
 
 D You have forgotten the girl with the mole on her chin. 
 
 F Spare me. 
 
 D And Wanda? 
 
 F Starting back. Oh, I forgot about Wanda. 
 
 D You said you forgot her in my presence. 
 
 F Yes ; but I wan't to say a few words about her. 
 
 D I don't want to hear. I don't like her. 
 
 F I'm engaged to be married to her this evening 
 
 D Starting up. Angrily. Sir, what does this mean ? 
 
 F I want to explain. 
 
 D No explanations. Leave me this moment. 
 
 F But, your Highness 
 
 D Your presence is an insult to me. Not another word. She 
 rings a beU. Enter Nepomuck. To Nepomuck. Show General 
 Fritz to the door, and send word to Baron Stein that I want to see 
 him at his earliest convenience 
 
 Fritz goes out. 
 
 SCENE 2 -The red chamber, of Gothic style. A door at the 
 right front, another at the left middle, and a secret door hidden by 
 a picture at the left rear. At the rear on the left a window ; at 
 the rear on the right a bed hidden by curtains. Between the bed 
 and window, a table. Seats. Curtains cover the doors in front. 
 Grand Duchess enters from the right preceded "by a page bearing a 
 candelabra, which he places on the table. 
 
 DUCHESS Oh ! 
 
 PUCK Entering at left front door. Oh ! 
 Music heard at a distance. 
 
 D You are punctual. What news ? 
 
 P I have just come from the ball. He's dancing. 
 
 D Dancing on the brink of destruction. Will you have time 
 to prepare for the for the catastrophe ? 
 
 P No danger. I told him it was your order that he should 
 stay till the end of the ball. 
 
 D How did he receive this order ? 
 
 P With evident ill-humor. He complained that it was hard 
 treatment for a wedding night. 
 
 D He said that ? 
 
 P That's what he said ? 
 
 D He must love that little minx, but I'll get even with her. 
 She looks down at the floor. 
 
40 
 
 p What is your Highness looking at? 
 
 D That large blood mark. You know what made it ? 
 
 P Yes ; the servants tell the story to all visitors. 
 
 D And expect a fee for it. 
 
 P To-morrow there will be two blood marks. 
 
 D And a double fee from the visitors. But where are our 
 associates in the plot. 
 
 P They are hidden there. Pointing at the secret door. 
 
 D I will hide behind this curtain, and you can call them in. 
 
 A That's ! good idea. 
 
 D_Why do you like it ? 
 
 p Its like a conspiracy. 
 
 D Don't let them know that I am here. At the last moment 
 if I think it is necessary, I will show myself. She hides behind a 
 curtain. 
 
 P Is she with us in earnest? Fritz is worth a dozen Bourns 
 for the army. He knows enough to submit to Kurtz, but I can not 
 manage him. What has he done to offend her ? Has he forgotton 
 the proverb ''Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." But if she 
 is not with us, it is now too late for me to draw back, and the others 
 must take their --hances with me. He opens the secret door. Come 
 in. Bourn, Paul, Grog and Nepomuck enter. He closes the door. 
 Where are the others ? 
 
 B They will come, one by one. We do not want io attract 
 attention. 
 
 P You are right. To Nepomuck. Are you with us. 
 
 NIPOMUCK Yes, since I know the Grand Duchess is. 
 
 PRINCE PAUL You are cunning. 
 
 N I am ambitious. 
 
 P Give me your hand. 
 
 N Here it is. 
 
 They shake hands. 
 
 p To Paul. Pointing to Grog. Is Baron Grog with us, too ? 
 
 PR. P Yes. 
 
 B Welcome. 
 
 They shake hands. 
 
 P I suppose Baron Grog understands our purpose. 
 
 GROG Perfectly. I'ts only to kill a man. 
 
 PR P That's all. 
 
 P Yes, he must die here. 
 
 B And now, drawing his sabre, all listen to me. 
 
 P What's the matter with you ? 
 
 PR P Sheathe your sword. 
 
 ALL Yes, put it away. 
 
 B With emphasis. When you commence this sort of busi- 
 ness, you must finish it. If any of you back out, I'll make sau- 
 sage meat of him. 
 
 P But nobody want's to back out. 
 
41 
 
 B Threatening Prince Paul. If you want to back out 
 
 PR P Put up your sword. 
 
 P I tell you there is no backing out. Can't you listen to 
 reason ? 
 
 ~8 Sheathing hia sword. I have given you fair notice. 
 
 PR P Too much of it. 
 
 DUCHESS Entering. Are your daggers all sharp ? 
 
 CONSPIRATORS In dismay. Her Highness ! 
 
 P Yes, gentlemen, I am with you, and was concealed there 
 to sustain your courage, but I see it is not necessary. 
 
 N No, we are all determined. 
 
 P Let him come, and you will see. 
 
 B I will make mince meat of him 
 
 P 1 have one request, gentlemen. 
 
 P 8 ay an order. 
 
 P Po not strike him in the face. To Bourn : Are your men 
 all in their stations ? 
 
 B Yes, your Highness. 
 
 P They all understand at what moment the attack is to be 
 made ? 
 
 B Yes, your Highness. 
 
 P And what each is to do ? 
 
 B Yes, your Highness? 
 
 P To Grog. Baron, please to stay at luy side as special guard. 
 
 G Aside. She had a long audience with General Fritz after 
 I left. I'm afraid of her and him. Aloud. I will see that your 
 Highness .is not harmed. 
 
 P Low, to Grog. It's not for myself that I fear. Aloud. 
 Gen. Fritz will fight. 
 
 G We will overpower him with numbers. 
 
 P Po leave us. 
 
 G Leave you ! Never. 
 
 P To Bourn. We will postpone this plot. Pismiss your 
 men. 
 
 P How? 
 
 P Let General Fritz live. Looking at Grog. I'm not in a 
 killing humor to-day. 
 
 B But, your Highness. 
 
 P Angrily. But what ? 
 
 B If it were not your Highness' order, I would say this is an 
 intolerable insult. 
 
 P It is my order. 
 
 B After we have all compromised ourselves to one another 
 and explained to our men ! 
 
 PR. P I went to the expense of a conspirator's dress suitable 
 to my rank. 
 
 P We have had all the bother, and now we are to be robbed 
 of the pleasure. 
 
42 
 
 D Silence all ! There is to be no assassination to-day. 
 
 B Why? 
 
 D It would look bad on my wedding day. 
 
 ALL With astonishment. Your wedding day ! 
 
 D My wedding day. 
 
 PR P With joy. My dear, I am glad it has come. 
 
 D It has come. 
 
 PR. P You have at last consented ? 
 
 D Yes; you may thank the Baron; you owe much to him. 
 I could not resist his eloquence. 
 
 PR P To the Baron. Ah Baron, Papa authorizes me to be- 
 stow a decoration every New Year's day; he likes that better than 
 to give money; and I shall not forget you. 
 
 G Thanks, I have no more room on my coat for decorations. 
 
 D To Puck and Bourn who are talking together with animation. 
 What have you to say General Bourn, and you Baron Puck ? 
 
 P I agree with your Highness that on the day when you 
 bless the flames with which the Prince has been burning for you, 
 it would be indecorous to kill anybody. 
 
 B I do not say the contrary, but it is very disagreeable. This 
 Fritz has humiliated me in a hundred ways. , He carried off my 
 plume, and a girl that would have made me happy, and I am not 
 to be avenged? Excitedly. Where is the enemy ? Where is my 
 revenge? 
 
 D Interrupting. Is that all! Well take your revenge, but 
 don't go beyond the limits of of 
 
 P Of the imagination. 
 
 D Exactly. 
 
 P You mean that if we can devise some good trick we may 
 play it on him. 
 
 D I wish you would, without taking life or limb. 
 
 B We'll do it. 
 
 D Manage it well. Prince, you are interested. Give them 
 your advice. 
 
 PR P My dear ! 
 
 D Meet me in two hours in the chapel. I will go and select 
 my wedding dress. I have a lot all made up. She moves to the 
 right door. Paul follows and tries to kiss her hand. She draws it 
 back. Not yet. At the door she turns. God preserve you, gentle- 
 men. She goes out. 
 
 P To Bourn. Here he comes ; what shall we do ? 
 
 B Let us do something to-night. 
 
 P I have it. 
 
 Bourn and Puck move to the right near Grog. Fritz and Wanda 
 in bridal costume, enter on the left. They are accompanied by tJie 
 lords and ladies of the court, all carrying gilt lanterns. 
 
 FRITZ Thanks, gentlemen; thanks, ladies. You are very 
 kind. To Paul and associates : Were vou here in advance of me ? 
 
43 
 
 P Yes, to do you honor. 
 
 F Having done me so much honor, you can never do me a 
 greater pleasure. 
 
 p By taking our leave? 
 
 F Exactly. Thanks, gentlemen. Good-night, good-n'ght, 
 ' gentlemen. 
 
 P Good-night, General, good-night. 
 
 B Good-night, Madame. 
 
 THE OTHERS Good-night. 
 All except Fritz and Wanda go out by the first door at the left. 
 
 F Dancing with joy. At last we are alone. 
 
 WANDA I'm glad of it. 
 
 F So am I. He tries to kiss her. 
 
 W PusJiing Mm away But not for that. 
 
 F Shan't I have a kiss ? 
 
 W Don't tease me. Everybody congratulated you at the 
 ball, now let me congratulate you, General. 
 
 F I'm not a General to you. 
 
 W Yes you are. 
 
 F You were engaged to a simple soldier, and you find your- 
 self the wife of a victorious General. You are dazzled. 
 
 W No. 
 
 F Yes, confess it. But I will take off my plume and trap- 
 pings. He takes off his hat and sword-belt, which he places on the 
 table. 
 
 W What are you doing ? 
 
 F- Just reassuring you. 
 
 W A funny way of reassuring people. 
 
 F Why not ? We are married now. 
 
 W Yes; but 
 
 F But what ? Do as I do. 
 
 W How ? 
 
 F Take off your armor. 
 
 W Presently. 
 
 F Why not now? Because I am* a General? If I were 
 only a private soldier, and we were in a simple cabin, you would 
 not hesitate so. The higher we get in society the more ceremony 
 we make. Be re-asssured. Puts his arm round her waist. 
 
 W Pushing him away. I am afraid of you. Drums are heard 
 under the window. What's that ? 
 
 F I don't know. Drums beat again. 
 
 Cries outside: Hurrah for General Fritz. 
 
 W Looking out. They are calling for you. 
 
 F It's a morning serenade. They would have come earlier 
 if we had not stayed so late at the ball. They must be the drum- 
 mers of my regiment. 
 
 Noises outside: Hurrah for General Fritz ! 
 W Will they never go ? 
 
44 
 
 F I must speak to them ; it can't be helped. He goes to the 
 window and opens it. Drums beat again. 
 
 Cries outside - Hurrah or General Fritz. / 
 
 F Gentlemen, I am very grateful for this honor, but you will 
 pardon me if I am very brief. Perhaps you don't know this is my 
 wedding night, so I have no time to spare. Good night, gentlemen, 
 good night. He throws out some money. 
 
 Cries outside Hurrah for General Fritz. 
 
 He closes the window. Drums beat and are heard going off. 
 
 F It did not take long to get rid of them. Now, my dear, 
 we are alone tor the night. A little kiss. 
 
 W Pushing him away. Go away. 
 
 F Why, you let me kiss you before we were married. 
 
 W It was different then. 
 
 F Different ! Of course it was ; I had no right io kiss you 
 then 
 
 W And you have not any now. 
 
 Military band under the window 
 
 F Going to the right. Damn the musicians. I wish I was 
 not so popular 
 
 Cries outside. Hurrah for General Fritz. 
 
 F It's the band of my regiment. 
 
 W Don't go near the window. 
 
 F They would stay there an hour. He goes to the window. 
 Opens it, and bows. 
 
 Cries Hurrah for General Fri f z. 
 
 He is bombarded with bouquets. 
 
 F To Wanda: You see how they want to compliment me ? 
 I am a great favorite among them. 
 
 She gathers the bouquets and puts them on the table. 
 
 F Speaking out of the window : Gentlemen, I thank you for 
 the honor, and at some other time I would be glad to invite you 
 iu as the musicians of my old regiment to drink some wine with 
 me ; but may be you don't know that I was married las evening, 
 so you will understand when I say good-night, gentlemen, good- 
 night. Throws money t9 them. 
 
 Cries outside Hurrah for General Fritz ! 
 
 F Looking out. They're going. He shuts the window, returns 
 to Wanda. Puts his arm round her waist. You are afraid of a 
 General, are you? 
 
 Violent knocking at tlie door 
 
 W Frightened. What's that ? 
 
 Enter Bourn, Puck, Paul, Grog, ladies and gentlemen of the Court, 
 
 Pages, and last, Nepomuck. 
 FRITZ What does this mean ? 
 BOUM General, the enemy have resumed the offensive. 
 
45 
 
 F What enemy ? 
 
 B The Dickbauck Coburgs have invaded our territory. 
 
 F And my bed-chamber ! 
 
 WANDA Sobbing. On our wedding night ! 
 
 PR PAUL Business before pleasure. 
 
 PUCK The Grand Duchess was greatly disturbed an hour ago 
 by a messenger from the camp saying the outposts had been driven 
 in and a battle was imminent. 
 
 B The soldiers demand the presence of General Fritz. 
 
 P The Grand Duchess commands you to start immediately. 
 
 F Tell her Highness that I will be ready to start in three 
 hours. Captain Nepomuck inform my staff that they must be 
 ready in three hours. Looking at his watch. It is now three o'clock; 
 we will start at six. 
 
 P Her .Highness said immediately. 
 
 F Impossible. I must dress and get something to eat. 
 
 P Low to Fritz. Is that all ? 
 
 N General, your staff are all in waiting. 
 
 F It will take an hour to saddle my horse. 
 
 N He is at the door ready for you to mount. 
 
 P We'll help you to dress. 
 
 Paul brings his coat to him, and puts it on. Bourn brings the 
 sword belt, and helps him to put it on. Puck brings the hat, and 
 puts it on. 
 
 F But this is my wedding night. I don't want to leave my 
 wife. 
 
 B We'll take care of her. 
 
 W No such thing ; I'll cry my eyes out. 
 
 F Don't cry, darling ; I'll soon come back. 
 
 W I don't want you to go. I don't want you to be a General, 
 if that's the way. 
 
 Nepomuck goes out. 
 
 F I will stay. I resign my office. General Bourn, you can 
 take command of the. army. 
 
 B Agreed ; you can stay. To the company. Let's go, and 
 leave them alone. 
 
 P Stop. No resignation is valid till accepted by her High- 
 ness. If General Fritz refuses to obey orders, he is guilty of 
 treason. His services are necessary for victory. 
 
 F I must go. He kisses Wanda. 
 
 B Low to Puck. Let him resign. If he keeps his place he'll 
 bother us all our lives. 
 
 P No he wont. We'll have our fun out, and he'll be compelled 
 to resign then. 
 
 A trumpet is heard. 
 
 B Pulling Fritz away^ from Wanda. General, it's time to 
 start. The trumpeter has given his signal that all is ready. 
 
46 
 
 NEPOMUCK Entering. By command of her Highness I again 
 entrust to you the sabre of her sire. 
 
 F Aside, Plague take her, her sabre, and her sire. 
 
 Puck, Bourn, Paul and Grog push Fritz out. Women Jwld 
 Wanda. Each reaching out arms towards the other. 
 
 SCENE III. 
 
 Camp scene as in Act I. Three tables amidst the tents ; one 
 at the right, the other at the left. Paul, Bourn, Puck, Grog and 
 Nepomuck at middle table ; ladies of Court at other tables ; gen- 
 tlemen behind them. Tables covered with remnants of meal. 
 Servants pour out wine. 
 
 Grand DucJiess enters at right rear, followed by Maids of Honor 
 
 DUCHESS Gentlemen, I salute you. 
 
 PUCK Welcome, your Highness. 
 
 PRINCE PAUL Bushing to her with a glass of wine. Permit 
 me. She takes it. 
 
 BOUM We drink to the health of the august couple to be 
 married to-day. 
 
 D I will thank you all to drink that toast with me. They 
 all drink. Paul takes her glass and sets it down. 
 
 PR P To DucJiess. You make me very happy. 
 
 D I want everybody to be happy to-day. 
 
 PR P And I owe a great deal to Baron Grog 
 
 I) Looking at Grog. What can I do for your advancement ? 
 I have already conferred all the honors of my Court upon some- 
 body else. But, looking round, where's General Fritz? 
 
 P He will soon be here. 
 
 B We have played a trick on him. 
 
 1> Anything besides breaking up his wedding night ? That 
 was cruel enough. 
 
 P We kept within the limits of the imagination. 
 
 D Those may be very extensive, What have you done ? 
 
 B For several years, once a week, I have visited a married 
 lady who lives behind yonder hill. Her husband has lately become 
 suspicious and set a watch. So I stayed away, but I sent General 
 Fritz there this morning before day, saying he would find a lady 
 who could tell him about the enemy. He wanted to take his staff* 
 along, but I told him it was in our lines and she would not receive 
 him if he had any escort. 
 
 D Did he go? 
 
 B Yes and he ought to be back now, 
 
 Cries at a distance. 
 
 Fritz enters dirty, Uoody, tattered, his plume broken, his epau- 
 lettes torn off, and the sabre twisted in his hand. 
 D General what's the mat f er ? 
 
47 ' I UNIVERSITY 
 
 FRITZ A jealous husband. 
 
 D On your wedding night. 
 
 WANDA Oh the wretch. 
 
 PR P P ETC Pointing at him. Oh fie. 
 
 F To Wanda. Let me explain. 
 
 W Go away; I don't want to hear. 
 
 F I went to meet a lady. 
 
 D On your wedding night ! 
 
 P On his wedding night. 
 
 W I want a divorce. 
 
 P He's a disgrace to the army. 
 
 F Silence. If you will listen a minute, you will see I have 
 done nothing wrong. The lady had important information about 
 the enemy. I went to her chamber. 
 
 W To ner bed chamber ! 
 
 D To her bed chamber ! 
 
 P On his wedding night ? 
 
 G He ought to be court-martialed. 
 
 F To Grog. And who are you? 
 
 D General, do not insult my friends. 
 
 F Your friends ought not to be fools. You're acting like a 
 set of lunatics, making my wife believe I am after another woman 
 on my wedding night. 
 
 D Do you call me a lunatic ? 
 
 F I beg pardon, your Highness. If you will send off these 
 people, and listen to me for five minutes, I will satisfy you or sub- 
 mit to any punishment you inflict. 
 
 PR P Send off these people ! These people happen to include 
 the intended husband of her highness, and this is her wedding day! 
 
 P These people include the trusted counsellors of her highness. 
 
 D What is your opinion Baron Grog? 
 
 G I advise a Court Martial. 
 
 F I am Baron Von Bierfoss, and a Court Martial cannot try 
 me. 
 
 D You are a Baron no longer. 
 
 F Nobility is all a sham anyhow. 
 
 D And is rank a sham too, Colonel ? 
 
 F Colonel ? you n.ean General. 
 
 D No I mean Colonel. 
 
 F Why not Captain ? 
 
 D Certainly or Lieutenant if you wish. 
 
 F Let it be Lieutenant. 
 
 D Sergeant is better. 
 
 F I never learned the duty of that rank. 
 
 D Do you know more about a Corporal's position ? 
 
 F- -Not much more. 
 
 D I congratulate you on restoration to the position of full 
 private. 
 
4$: 
 
 B He is not a good private. He runs after the girls too much. 
 
 F He was always in your way, and for fear of being i j your 
 way again, would like to have his discharge from the army. 
 
 D You shall have it. Turning to the others. I can now dis- 
 pose of these grades and honors to those more worthy. She takes 
 the plume. 
 
 B Coming forward. Thanks, your Highness. 
 
 D For what ? 
 
 B For restoring me to the chief command. 
 
 D Did I say so ? 
 
 B You were about to give me the plume again. 
 
 D I did not think of it. 
 
 Bourn retires grumbling. 
 
 PR P Comes forward. I see that your Highness intends to 
 overload me with favors. 
 
 D How ? 
 
 PR P I will study the military art. 
 
 D For what purpose ? 
 
 PR P So that 1 can command your armies. 
 
 D I don't want you to be called away on your wedding night. 
 
 PR P No, that would not suit me. 
 
 D I don't want you to be beaten by a jealous husband when 
 you go after important information. 
 
 PR P Nor do I. But that will not be necessary. I will 
 accept the office as a mere honorary position. 
 
 D What office ? 
 
 PR P General-in-Chief of your armies. 
 
 D No, Prince ; the duties of husband will be sufficient for 
 you. 
 
 PR P Why then offer the plume to me ? 
 
 D I do not offer it. Your imagination misled you. Baron 
 Puck. Puck coming forward and kneeling at her feet. Your High- 
 ness confers too much honor on me. 
 
 D I think not. I have found you discreet and zealous. 
 
 P Although the management ot the military as well as the 
 civil affairs of your government will be a great tax upon my 
 powers 
 
 D How ? 
 
 P Since you deign to confer the plume as the symbol of chief 
 military command upon me. 
 
 D 1 have not said a word of such an intention. 
 
 P You called me forward. He rises. 
 
 D It was merely to request you in your capacity as my min- 
 ister and secretary to make a note of the fact that I confer citizen- 
 ship in my Grand Duchy on Baron Grog, hitherto an alien in my 
 domains 
 
 PR P Shaking his hand. Baron, I congratulate you on the 
 honor. 
 
49 
 
 G Aside. I'd rather have a good suit of clothes. 
 
 D I further confer upon Baron Grog the title of Baron von 
 Grossbierfoss ; and at some future day I will give him a domain 
 suitable to the title. 
 
 P R p_ Shaking his hand again. Ah Baron, let me congratulate 
 you. This time you have a generous sovereign. To the Duchess, 
 I take these favors to my advocate as special honors to me. 
 
 P Aside. Plague take the woman. I'm afraid some mis- 
 chiefs brewing Has she taken a fancy to Grog ? He's not a bad 
 specimen of a man. 
 
 D Holding up the plume. Baron Von Grossbierfoss ? 
 
 G Your Highness. 
 
 D I confer this plume upon you. 
 
 B In disgust aside. He don't know at which end of a cannon 
 to look for the muzzle. 
 
 G Your Highness honors me too much. 
 
 PR P Coming forward takes the hand of the Duchess. Let me 
 thank you again for your kindness to my friend. 
 
 D Taking Jier father's sabre from Nepomuck and giving it to 
 Grog. Take charge of the sabre of my sire. 
 
 B -Aside. Oh fury ! 
 
 P Aside. I don't see any way of stopping this thing. It will 
 be worse than when we had Fritz. 
 
 D To Grog. Further Baron, I make you my Prime Minister, 
 and Baron Puck who is exhausted by long service can recuperate 
 himself by foreign travel. 
 
 P But your Highness I don't want to travel. 
 
 D Yes you do. 
 
 B I think your health would improve. He makes a motion 
 with his finger across his throat, and a satirical noise, indicating that 
 Puck mil be hanged if he objects. 
 
 P Your Highness I would gladly travel abroad, but I can not 
 afford it. 
 
 D I will make an extra allowance of ten dollars a month to 
 you out of my private purse. 
 
 F Low to Puck. You can enjoy the scenery much better 
 when you're a-foot. 
 
 . P Low to Fritz. So you must kick me, too, now that I am 
 down. 
 
 F Low to Puck. Turn about is fair play. 
 
 PR P To Duchess. I understand the delicate compliment 
 which you pay me on my wedding day by placing the chief officer 
 in charge of my advocate and friend. 
 
 G Your Highness has placed me under everlasting obliga- 
 tion. I accept the offices conferred upon me. 
 
 PR P To Grog. You must make your home here and send 
 at once for your wife. 
 
 D His what ? 
 
50 
 
 PR P His wife. 
 
 D I did not know lie had a wife.' 
 
 PR P Yes, and three children. 
 
 G That does not matter. I can serve your Highness as 
 well. 
 
 D And you concealed all this from me? 
 
 G Your Highness. 
 
 D Why then did you try to make yourself agreeable to me? 
 
 G But, your Highness ! 
 
 D Not a word. I never saw such hateful men. Give me hack 
 that plume. Grog takes off his hat ruefully. She snatches tlw 
 plume General Bourn. Bourn comes forward radiant. Kneel 
 down. He kneels. She places the plume in his hat. I rejoice to 
 restore my trusty old servant to his former rank as commander of 
 my army. 
 
 B Thanks. He rises and struts about. Aside. I'll have the 
 cursed thing soldered in this time. 
 
 D I restore Baron Puck to the position of Prime Minister. 
 
 P A thousand thanks. 
 
 D To Grog. I'll take that corkscrew. Pointing at the sabre. 
 He returns it. She gives it to Nepomuck. To Nepomuck Sell it 
 for old iron. Don't let me ever see it again. I dont want to be 
 reminded looking at Grog 
 
 G Of Baron Grog. 
 
 D That's so. Nor of Looking at Fritz. 
 
 F Nor of General Fritz. 
 
 D That so ? To Fritz. I thought you were in a hurry to go. 
 
 F I have a favor to ask. 
 
 D Speak it out. 
 
 F I would like the appointment of schoolmaster in my 
 native village of Frauenlieb. 
 
 D It's your's. 
 
 PR P And what is mine ? 
 
 D Didn't I always say you were to be my husband ? And 
 this is my wedding day. She takes his wrm. 
 
 P This is a happy ending of long wooing. 
 
 D When we can't get what we want, we must take what we 
 can get. 
 
 Green Curtain falls. 
 
m