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 CAPS WELL FIT: 
 
 O R, 
 
 SELECT EPIGRAMS. 
 
 SERIOUS AND COMIC. 
 Bt TITUS, IN SANDGATE, 
 
 AND 
 
 TITUS, EVERYWHERE. 
 
 True Judges, read each Work of Wit, 
 
 Says One, of honour'd Fame; 
 With the fame Spirit Authors writ^ 
 
 And criticize the fame; 
 Let fuch true Judges then be mine, 
 
 For Senfe I like, and Spirit; 
 To them^ this Work in Peace refign^ 
 
 Be lefs, or more its Merit. 
 
 NEWCASTLE: 
 
 Printed by T. Angus, for T. F i s h b u r h, 
 
 Mookwcarmouth, and fold by all BookfoUers 
 
 in Town and Coiwitry, 17*5,
 
 StacK 
 Annex
 
 S A N D G A T E. 
 
 TH E City of Sandgate ( commonly fo called ) 
 forms the Eattern Suburbs of Newcaltle I'poii 
 Tyne ; and was heretofore almoft folely inhabited by 
 common Keelmen, and their Families; and became- 
 a kind of Bye-word to ftrangers, for the dirtineft 
 ■of its Streets, Lanes, and Avenues ; and more 
 cfpecially, from the uncleanly Appearance, uncontli 
 Language, and brutifli Behaviour of the Pecrie. 
 But, of late Years, tlw^ Place hath carried a more civi- 
 lized Afpeft i particularly, fmce the elegant Re- 
 4)niklin£ of St. Ann Chappel, by Mr Newton; 
 and the fpacious Turnpike Road, leading'^ NoitU 
 Shields^ About this Period of Improvemen < . 1 i T U S 
 is .Oippofed to have chofen hi^ occafional Rehder.ce 
 her-; to have made himfelf familiar witnthe rider »n- 
 h tlitanis } and to have commenced an open Advocate 
 in their Favour, Bein^ a cidzen o^ ti:e world, he 
 ck)es not confine his Laconic Lucrubratio-njy to cafnal 
 Obfervations, made in this circle only ] but liberally 
 extends them Everywhere, as incideni^ fall out. 
 He hath a large A{R)rtm?nt of Caps yet in ^ore; 
 \vhich he intend? holdin-j; \n D^:.-^- Stack until he 
 knows the fuccefs of his prelVr^E '-.^le Htf mull 
 formi his Judgnent of tl?:~ ' .• . . -'-'■ordir.g to 
 
 HUPIBRAS. 
 
 Wh3t is the Worth o*" v Thi'*g, 
 But juft as much Money ds 'twiii bring ? 
 A* 

 
 TITUS IN SANDGATE.^i 
 I. 
 V X 7 HO fits the ca|> I cties maiiy a hcdl 
 
 And bids Old Titus name him ; 
 If 'tis not made exa£^ by rule, 
 
 Why, caft it o^y znd /hame him :- 
 Old Titus means, by moral fcenes, 
 To worth, and Vice, their due; 
 And though upon, more heads than one,- ^ 
 The CAPS is no lefs true. 
 
 •II. 
 The rig you run, with' all your fun, 
 
 Againft our Sandgate-street ': 
 Bccaufe, we know, y omv Saz/ii/e^row, ^^^^^^ 
 
 Is kept fo wondrous neat : 
 But come, be kind, entreaties mind, - ^- 
 
 And hence remove fome folks ;' 
 'Twill foon be feen, like you we're clean, 
 
 For all your gibes, and jokes. 
 
 A3
 
 t fitus In Sandgaie* 
 
 VII. 
 Nicebtlles, and beaus, blame Sandgate ftrect^ 
 
 In word?, perhaps, too hafty ; 
 But if ill Southern S*^***s they'll meet, ■ 
 
 They'll fiiid that place' more nafty : 
 Such filthy finks, and compound fl---s, 
 
 Ones very blood runs chilly ; 
 And what is more,, on banks, and fiiore, 
 
 The inoKare for mare filly. 
 
 VMI. 
 
 Long, Sandgate lay debasM-in fame, 
 
 Filthieft haunts of brutifh clans ; 
 'Till clever Willy Newton came, 
 
 And built us bonnyneat St. Ann's ; 
 The fpacious road too winding high ;• 
 
 Whilft civil ftrangers fettle near ; 
 We'll fhew the curious, by and by. 
 
 What clean improvements flourifh herei
 
 Titus in SandgaU, 9 
 
 IX. 
 Some, Titus blame, becaufc he reads. 
 
 And thinks, and writes to touch ; 
 Poor man ! fay they, he furely needs, 
 
 Or has, perhaps, too much I 
 Whilft Titus gives this rcafon plain. 
 
 Where Reafon*s force prevails ; 
 Some people carry fenfe, and brain, 
 
 And others — Kenttjh tails, 
 
 X. 
 Cuckholds, and Whores, were odious names. 
 
 In times of yore, through Britain ; 
 .Eut gracious Parliament reclaims. 
 
 And pa/s the fexes fitting : 
 Bills oCDivorce, afTuage remorfe. 
 
 Such afts of grace reftore ; 
 Grand Cuckholds fcorn to (hun the horn, 
 
 Grand Strumpets blulli no mort.
 
 lO TUus in Sandgatc. 
 
 XL 
 Corlnna is no longer whore, 
 
 For Ihe is wed again ; 
 Nor does Ihe pra^icc^ as before, 
 
 Excepting now and then ! 
 Her former fpoufc is married too, 
 
 Such husbands ! — and fuch wives ! 
 What has the pubhc fhame to do ? 
 
 They've patents for their lives 
 
 XII. 
 Pert Lucy, was a common whore. 
 
 Ere fortune fmil'd upon her \ 
 Now, lo ! thofe gentlefolks adore. 
 
 Who usM fo much to fhun her : 
 But can the ^thlop change his fkin ? 
 
 Or Leopard turn a fpot ? 
 No more can gold remove her fin, 
 
 Such virtue it hath not.
 
 'Titus in Sandgate, 
 XIII. 
 Flavella, hath herfelf forgot, 
 
 As all the neighbours fay ; 
 But numbers live, to bear in thought, 
 
 Her conduct, t'other day ; 
 "Whiifl gayfome, in illicit love. 
 
 How eminent her name ? 
 No time remembrance can remove, 
 
 No gold reverfc'her fame 1 
 
 XIV. 
 To camp, to camp, the ladies tramp, 
 
 You wonder much, you fay, 
 But don't you know, the fa£l is fo, 
 
 Th^y* re fildiersy in their way ? 
 Thofe darting eyes, and tapering thighs, 
 
 ArangM to martial view ; 
 When fair in field, caufe more to yield. 
 
 Than ever Cafer flew. 
 
 IS
 
 IZ f^tus in Sandgate. 
 
 XV. 
 The mother, and the daughter, therc^ 
 
 Which of them is the proudeft ? 
 The one. I know, will make you ftarc. 
 
 The other talks far loudefl ; 
 If fuch the cafe, give filence place. 
 
 Nor longer make a pother ; 
 For no wife man, who knows his plan, 
 
 Will daughter chufe, nor mother, 
 
 XVI. 
 
 That powdcrM girl, in blooming teens, 
 
 How mellow, and how fine 1 
 So ripe for love's delicious fcenes. 
 
 Yet is no chbice of mine ; 
 Why fo ? young fpark, Old Titus cries. 
 
 Becaufe (fays hej V\\ prove ; 
 Were I once Jixt to thofe loofe eyeS, 
 
 My heart wou'd^/> tor love 1
 
 77ius in Sandgate^ ij 
 
 xvn. 
 
 She fifths of pride,-— the vulgar lay, 
 
 And what they fpeak, fecms tru€ ; 
 For if that lady crofs your way, 
 
 The flomach makes to fpew ; 
 So much fhe fcents of mufk perfumes. 
 
 As Tm a mortal finner ; 
 To fnatch a kifs, who bold aflumes, 
 
 Dcferves to lofe his dmner. 
 
 XVIl-I. 
 Call Lady Bold, the greatcft fcold, 
 
 And tell her of her lies ; 
 Say, fhc's a curfe, or fomcthing worfr. 
 
 She with the whole complies : 
 Nay, if you fmoke the queereft joke, 
 
 It thrills through all her veins ; 
 ]But, once fay — Punk or, Tou get drunks 
 
 She'i^ box yod for your pains.
 
 14 Titus in Sandgate, 
 
 XIX. 
 I have been told, that Lady Bold, 
 
 With my poor name mais.es free ; 
 Behind my back, whirls round her clack, 
 
 When o'er her drams, or tea j 
 It may be fo — e*en let it go^ 
 
 Like, mufl from like proceed, 
 But if fhe bleft, or praife expreft, 
 
 I had been vext indeed. 
 
 XX. 
 Gamblers, and whores, are much alike, 
 
 Through itch, they play the game ; 
 Equal at lofs and gain they llrike, 
 
 Kndjhuffle out their fhame : 
 They fhould of courfe one charter have. 
 
 At itchy fo nice and quick ! 
 Whilft Club-foot Ikuiks behind each knave. 
 
 To fob their final trick*
 
 Titus In SandgaU, i^ 
 
 XXI. 
 My father's rich, cries haughty Bel, 
 
 He is a Lord of Manor , 
 Exteniive acres this can tell, 
 
 Aitho' you call him tanner : 
 It may be fo, (ays honeft Joe, 
 
 Who warmly loag'd to man her, 
 BiU whilft, proud maid, he follows trade, 
 
 He's only flill a tanner^ 
 
 XXII. 
 Tom Jackfon, bought a large eflate. 
 
 The gentry throng about him ; 
 But foon they found, before too late. 
 
 They better were without him : 
 The man had purchased lands, 'tis true, 
 
 With {hillings, pounds, and pence; 
 
 But all his parchments could not Ihew, 
 
 JHe'd bought one grain of fenfe 1 
 B 2
 
 %6 fitm in Sandgat^ 
 
 XXIII. 
 1 fee^ by lucky turns in trade. 
 
 Some low mechanics rife ; 
 Who thus above their equals made. 
 
 Set up for being wife ! 
 But vain, alas ! their wrong pretence, 
 
 So weak in learning's fkili ; 
 For all their (hillings, pounds, and pence. 
 
 They are low mechanics ilill. 
 
 XXIV. 
 Rich Hodge, would gladly have to wed. 
 
 Fair Rachel of the green ; 
 Relations will not hear it faid. 
 
 Her fortune is too mean I 
 But Rachel's friends exert their ikill. 
 
 To prove the deference fmall ; 
 For £he has wit, and fenfe at will. 
 
 While Hodge hath none at all,
 
 TUus in Sandgate,^ if 
 
 ^ XXV. 
 Hodge rouz'd at M, and Rachel wed, 
 . With plain IVh'ue Chapii fortune I 
 His money quafhe^ AVhat was faid. 
 
 His. a£t, no friends dare fport on : 
 And Rachel proves her judgment true. 
 
 Thro' each domeftic care ; 
 So Hodge has nothing more to do, 
 Bat Imoke, and drink, and itarc. 
 
 xxvr. 
 
 A cooper's daughter Dicky fought, 
 
 And ch^nc'd, fome how, to Jlave her; 
 Biit when the thing to light was brought, 
 
 The rogue refus'd to have her : 
 Come, never mind, a friend rcjoin'd. 
 
 If Dick wants fl;ill to hoop he ; 
 He's found, no doubt, fome Icak.r^e out, 
 
 'lis flili more work for cooper. 
 
 B3
 
 .l8 T^tius in $andg4tf» 
 
 XXVII. 
 ^mperia, trick'd her cull at laft. 
 
 Who more than once deceiv'd her ^ 
 She had living proofs of what had paft. 
 
 And yet he fcarce believM her , 
 But now, fhe fixt on black and white f 
 
 Before again fhc'd falter ; 
 Futuro fliew'd, the wench was right, 
 
 He led her to the altar I 
 
 XXVIII. 
 Mifs Jenny, from her mother learns 
 
 Such pride, and affectation ; 
 That every fober eye difcerns. 
 
 Her want of reformation ; 
 If mother's will, fuch airs inftill. 
 
 To learn their daughters fancies, 
 No wonder's mine, to fee them Ihine 
 
 The Foois of Icw'd Romances.
 
 Titus in Satidgatt. 29 
 
 XXiX. 
 On fobcr reformation bent. 
 
 Our times wear fuch hard features ; 
 Laft Sabbath day, to kirk I went» 
 
 With other ferions creatures ; 
 Fell four/core minutes, Mefs-John preach'd. 
 
 His faints to favc alive ; 
 But all the truths his method reached, 
 
 Were clean forgot in ^ve, 
 
 XXX. 
 When flirting Dolly comes to kiik. 
 
 She flares fo much about her ; 
 *Xhst fober minds begin to work, 
 
 And wifh they were without her ; 
 Jtf Dolly will not learn more grace. 
 
 And be with faints more civil ; 
 Sbc'd better far at home keep placc> 
 
 And there ontjlare the Devil,
 
 ao ^itus in Sand^ate, 
 
 XXXL 
 How many people y7/ffp at kirk, 
 
 While Mefs-John takes fuch pains? 
 Regardlefs of his holy work, 
 
 So drowfy in their brains \ 
 Come tell me feven-fleepy folk. 
 
 What you in vifion fcheme ? 
 Does fcripture, there, appear a joke, 
 
 Or is the whole a. dream ? 
 
 XXXII. 
 Fop comes to kirk, to fpy about, 
 
 To fnuff, to grin, to vapour ; 
 'Tis wilh'd the clerk would kick him out, 
 
 And fend him home to caper ; 
 The coxcomb there a glafs may find, 
 
 To fhew his perfect feature ; 
 How much he dares difgrace mankind. 
 
 With fuch a flimfy creature I
 
 7itus in Sandgaie, a I 
 
 XXXIII. 
 Hypocrites, the kirk forfakcs. 
 
 And other worfhip chufcs ; 
 Becaufe by this^ he money makes. 
 
 By tbatf he rather lofcs : 
 'Tis plain to fee tlic man's defign, 
 
 And draw conclufion civil ; 
 HeM change his God, for curfed coiflj 
 
 If profcr'd fc^ the Devil. 
 
 XXXIV. 
 Old Velvet, daily goes to church, 
 
 To feek for Pater-Noller ; 
 But leaves his neighbour in the lurch, 
 
 As one did poor George 'Forjlcr : 
 Mow Where's the light, to prove him fight,' 
 
 In florms, or fun-fhine weather ? 
 For fure 'tis faid, \{ clofe we read. 
 
 That God and ntighbour dwell together.
 
 ^ iTitus in Sandgate* 
 
 XXXV. 
 Grave Robin, conilant goes to kirk, 
 
 As conftantly returns ; 
 In him, we. fee no fpirit work. 
 
 No raptur'd Seraph burns ( 
 What can tlie man's religion be ? 
 * Will no good foul reveal it ? 
 No neighbour, does in friendfhip feC| 
 
 The poor, they never fef/ it. 
 
 XXXVL 
 If chance you cautious Robin aik. 
 
 What is his fouFs belief? 
 He*ll tell you, that's aiv arduous talk. 
 
 Of difficulties, chief ; 
 But if in time you'll give him leave. 
 
 The paradox he'll own ; 
 His faith is pin'd on Mefs- John's fleCY 
 
 No higher is it flown.
 
 7'itus in Sa?idgate. 23 
 
 XXXVII. 
 Pious Perci', keeps hi5 way, 
 
 Ts fond of fcripture phrazcs j 
 AttencN to what the preachers fay, 
 
 And as he likes them, pralfes : 
 But if a feimon comes from prefs, 
 
 Of which twG'pence the price is ; 
 Good Peter, thinks it fhould be lefs, 
 
 His confcious heart fo nice is. 
 
 xxxviir. 
 
 I tell you ftill, frown as you will, 
 
 That Sandgate well may boaft. 
 Of buildings new, and arts as truer, 
 
 And men — as good as moft : 
 Indeed, oar crowd arc fomewhat rude, 
 
 Go^f^ manners fcarce can fix 'cm ; 
 But yet jhe wife, who prudence prize. 
 
 In ufeful lines may mix *em.
 
 24 ^itus in Sandgatt, 
 
 XXXIX. 
 I SwalwcU like, fays brother Johrv 
 
 Becaufe the kirk is near ; 
 Were this remov'd, I would be gone. 
 
 In lefs than half a year : 
 If that be all ? to Sandgate come. 
 
 And live with me my brother ; 
 Excel, >vho can, our fair St. Ann, 
 
 Or Ihew me fuch another ? 
 
 XL. 
 
 Our Ballaft Hills are hardly known, 
 
 To ftrangers, paffing by ; 
 Tho' many a nicely fculptur'd ftonc, 
 
 Defcribes where chrijiians lie :. 
 Forgive, ye fair ! ye debonair \ 
 
 If fatyr bold avow, 
 That,, in this place, Jleep heirs of grace, 
 
 Who iQnk and wifdom knew.
 
 T'uui in Sandgatt, aj 
 
 XLI. 
 Tall Francis, walks the ilreet along. 
 
 The people flare upon him ; 
 At Sa^dgate-gatc, fee how they throng, 
 
 Where juft rcfpe£l is fhewn him : 
 'Tis not, that he can look fo high. 
 
 And is, than many fmaller ; 
 But merit proves the reafon why,— 
 
 His Soul is fo much taller ! 
 
 XLII. 
 When fix foot Joseph walks with Matt, 
 
 All marvel, who have feen them ; 
 This fcarce can reach the other's hat. 
 
 Such difference is between them ; 
 But if they faw each bofom bare, 
 
 How great wouM be their wonder ? 
 
 To mark the taller difference there, 
 
 And Matt, fo much more under I 
 C
 
 ft6- Titus in Sandgaie. 
 
 XLIIL 
 'Tis pail a doubt, the fecrct's out, 
 
 Why Titus takes this round ; 
 He likes true men, tho' ne'er fo plain, 
 
 Or tho' in Sandgate found ! 
 Two fparks, laft night, took much delight} 
 
 His private haunts to ferrit ; 
 They found him well, nor bluih to telf, 
 
 With p*****k, and with merit. 
 
 XLIV. 
 Ncwcallle, like mod other places. 
 
 Various characters can fhew ; 
 Some few, inhabit with the graces, 
 
 VJhWt Jome few ftoop too low !: 
 What nice conclufion can we make. 
 
 From this trite obfervation ? 
 That poet 5 y good and bad, may take 
 
 From every place and nation !
 
 Tttus in Sandgalg, ^J 
 
 XLV. 
 Ye grand ! ye midling ! and yc low I 
 
 To truth itfelf attend ; 
 If one juji Author proves your foe, 
 
 Where will ye find a friend ? 
 The lime is near — will foon be here, 
 
 And muft attention claim ; 
 When great and fmall ; yes, one and all. 
 Will wifh an hone/i fame. 
 
 XLVL 
 How fome grand people pufF and blow, 
 
 In I'corn of poor and needing ! 
 find want to make their vafials know. 
 
 Such airs are perfe^l breeding I 
 But we fuppofe, fnug under rofe. 
 
 No mighty difference clafhes ; 
 for fure *tis plain, that grandefl niCft, 
 
 Arc merely dufl and afhes. 
 
 C 2
 
 2B Titus in S^andgati* 
 
 XLVIl. 
 See, lordly John come bluftering on, 
 
 As if he*d driyc ail o'er ; 
 Pray, docs he mean, we*ve never fee a 
 
 A bull, or bear, betore ? 
 Yes, many a one, tell haughty John, 
 
 And many a pair of bellows ; 
 And flill can find, a f— t behind, 
 
 For all fuch/r<7/^^ fellows. 
 
 XLVIIL 
 Pompofo, liv'd in golden ilate. 
 
 And carM a fig for no man ; 
 He value<i not the love, or hate, 
 
 Of high-church dupe, or low-naaa : 
 He rode through life, with equal wife, 
 
 Till at the lail he died ; 
 None could we find, to praije his mind. 
 
 But one --who grollly lied*
 
 Tftus in Sandgate, 2j^ 
 
 XLIX. 
 Young Fungus, lolcs, plain and clcar^ 
 
 Tho* come to brave cftate ; 
 He hath loft his tongue ; each eye, each car. 
 
 So filthy proud and great ! 
 If old acquaintancqjcind falute. 
 
 In ufual manners free ; 
 They find tlie fopling, blind and mute, 
 
 No mole more deaf than he i 
 
 L. 
 
 Kkc Nirarod kecks, and holds his noft, 
 
 When paupers once furround him ; 
 The Thoughts of dirt, and loufy cloathi, 
 
 Are thoughts which much confound himi. 
 But if you'll ftep to Nimrod's hall, 
 
 His dogs and whelps abounding; 
 You'll really think, their pifs and ftink, 
 
 Are more by far confounding. 
 
 C3
 
 3$ Titus in Sandgati, 
 
 LI. 
 Sir Patrick kcq)s a motley crew, 
 
 Of Haves, and cooks, and others ; 
 In charities, to give him due, 
 
 He equals half his brothers t 
 Crumbs, fav'd from furfgit, or from hogs, 
 
 A few poor neighbours Ihare, 
 And view the kennels of his dogs, 
 
 You'll find profulion there ! 
 
 LIL 
 
 That manor's Lord, commands no more. 
 
 His riches cou'd not fame him ; 
 To anfwefy on fomc diftant fhore. 
 
 Grim Death rcfolv'd to have him : 
 Good Chriftians come, and yield him roomp 
 
 Within fome kind kirk-hole ; 
 Yet neverthclefs, we mufl confeis^ 
 
 He many acres ftolc.
 
 ^ttus in Sandgate, 31 
 
 LIII. 
 1 leave off talk, and take my walk. 
 
 In fearch of obje£^s new ; 
 I go not far, 'till well aware, 
 
 Fve PoMpo in my view ; 
 If for curd pride^ old Satan fcl'.^ 
 
 From bieft elilian fkies ; 
 Say, is it poflible to tell 
 
 How Pompo means to rife ? 
 
 LIV. 
 Sec, down yon hill, comes furly WllJ, 
 
 His pockets lin'd with gold ; 
 Behold, how fly, he paifes by 
 
 His quondam friend of old ? 
 Poorer than Will, the man wc own, 
 
 Becaufe the faft is true ; 
 Yet, when the faithful mirror's flicwn, 
 
 Wc find him ruber to^l
 
 3^ 7'ituj in Sandgau. 
 
 LV. 
 See Rags, and Lace, move paf! that plac*, 
 
 Which hath the better lining ? 
 Mefs-John knows both, and can, in trothj 
 
 Defer ibe, ivithout divining : 
 ^hofe drips of lace, Old Bribe difgrace^ 
 
 Who gain*d his Inrth by fwearing ; 
 The rags, and thromb, fhadc horteji Tom, 
 
 Who lo/i it by forbearing. 
 
 LVI. 
 Lord blcfs us ! how young Jehu drives 
 
 His Phaeton along ? 
 As if he was the Lord of lives. 
 
 Nor car'd for right or wrong ! 
 But let young Jehu mind his health, 
 
 And regulate career; 
 fceft father*s Jirange ill-gotten wealth, 
 
 Should fly— the lord knows wh^re .
 
 Lvn. 
 
 I'm told, that Sawr\y Sweeper's (on 
 Puffs out, all bright and airy ; 
 Turo*^ proud, as maggots warm'd by noon, 
 
 Nor modcft is, nor wary : 
 Vd have him mind, the mu/hroom kind, 
 
 And mark it as a rule ; 
 That what is there, in morning fairi 
 
 At cvc, is mere toad-llool. 
 
 LVIII. 
 That figure there ? — with fuch an air \ 
 
 Whofe name I find you iliflc ; 
 Where cateh you time, or thought, or rhyme 
 
 To wafte on fuch a trific ? 
 I wonder much, your wit is fuch, 
 
 To call him — Tommy Noddy \ 
 For, if you look, in Reafon's book, 
 
 He's neither fijul nor body.
 
 34 3^'«^ ^« Sandgau, 
 
 LIX. 
 Tom keeps his chaife, in modem days, 
 
 And lords it o'er his kind ; 
 How matters change, in fortune's range, 
 
 His father rode behind ! 
 Tom ! — let thy pride in time fubfide, 
 
 Humility may fave thee ; 
 If thou drives on. as thou hafl done; 
 
 The Devil will furely have thee* 
 
 LX, 
 
 See ! pride emerging from a Ihaft, 
 
 A tyrant, in his way ; 
 Of yore, he at religion laugh'd^ 
 
 And fhuns it at this day : 
 Rejoice we ^ill, when men of fkill^ 
 
 At ufeful arts fucceed ; 
 But then again, it gives us pain. 
 
 To fee them — fools iridced \
 
 Titus in Sandgatc, 55 
 
 LXI. 
 Behold yon group of pompous beings, 
 
 Stalking forth fo proudly there 1 
 XVhilfl reafon yet retains her feeings, 
 
 Thefe no cordial brothers arc ! 
 Fearful Dependants, now and then, 
 
 In flattery, flile them -- Demi-gods ; 
 But fhrewd good fenfe marks puny merif 
 
 And of mock chiefs, moft forry rods. 
 
 LXII. 
 Lacquelius, brulh'd his mailer's fhocs, 
 
 The mothQT Jio op' d his whore j 
 And that the lad no vails might lofe, 
 
 My lord did fomething more : 
 He rais'd him, in an excife houfe. 
 
 His public fins to grace ; 
 That when he'd brufh'd off every loufe. 
 
 The Devil might yield him place.
 
 ^ Titus in Sand^attf 
 
 LXIII. 
 Sallonis, leacherous and proud, 
 
 Exceeds low proftitution ; 
 ^Itho' compaffion is allcw'd 
 
 His crazy conflitution ; 
 The fellow florms, with fuch controul^ 
 
 'Twou'd vex a Tommy Noddy ; 
 Whilfl fo he {Irives, to turn his foul 
 
 As crazy as his body. 
 
 LXIV. 
 Dark as his trade, Minerius comes. 
 
 All puffing, and all blowing ; 
 Juft drawn to bank, from dreary- glooms, 
 
 And now to roofi is going : 
 Drell in his charader, quite fair. 
 
 We own the collie|-*s guide \ 
 jBat, bell of tempers cannot bear, 
 
 Minciius in his pride !
 
 7itus in Sandgate, -JJ 
 
 LXV. 
 As cunning Reynards know their hole, 
 
 So knaves have all their paces ; 
 They'll even fmiie, while they cajole, 
 
 Andi/krew their double faces : 
 And, jiifl like him, who talent hidg 
 
 Thtfool his realon ufes ; 
 He will not be by morals led, 
 
 But vice or fblly chufes, 
 
 LXVI. 
 That man is dying ; — people fay. 
 
 When Pluto walks the llreet ; 
 But Quaker Thomas, anfwers, Nay, 
 
 That man is Nature's cheat : 
 Full health and vigour in his mind, 
 
 But dreads the world furprize him. 
 
 He lives 2ifoe to human kind, 
 
 Old Nick cannot difguife him, 
 D
 
 «S 7itus jn Sandgau^ 
 
 LXVII, 
 At length, Old Jew, to nature true. 
 
 The mortal tribute pays ; 
 Within his till, appears a will, 
 
 Which the laft ligh betrays ! i 
 
 How JoyM his heir ! what fmiles ! what flareA I ! 
 
 To fee the wretch once kind ; 
 His counted plumbs, and hoarded fums, 
 
 Were really left behind » ! 
 
 Lxviir. 
 
 Poor Mifer Plof, refign'd his breath, j 
 
 Bccaufe he could not keep it ; j 
 
 But then — to fave his gold from Deathy ' 
 
 He will'd his heirs to fweep it ; | 
 With brooms quite new, they topt each hcap> ; 
 
 As pyramids to praile him ; ^ 
 
 Invoking warm, the fates to hep, \ 
 
 And ijev«r more t« raifs hiin» i
 
 Titus in SandgaU, yf 
 
 LXIX. 
 
 Wealth can the World's eflccm command, 
 
 So moral poets fay ; 
 But ftill fome fmall exceptions fland, 
 
 Quite flagrant every day : 
 See Fungo there, from dunghill raisM, 
 
 With half a plumb about him ; 
 By never a wife man is he praisM, 
 
 And fools and knaves but flout him. 
 
 LXX. 
 Fortune, for fome, performs too much, 
 
 As feems wild Fungo's ftate j 
 Whole life, 'tis difficult to touch, 
 
 At once fo proud and great ! 
 Be rich, — Ihe cry'd — as quick as thought, 
 
 The words fuccefsful fped ; 
 
 But when fhe turnM his thread' bare coat. 
 
 She alfo turn'd his head. 
 D 2
 
 A(^: ^ittis In Sandgatt,. 
 
 LXXI. 
 I have been young, and now am old, 
 
 And al ways found it fo ; 
 That nought more powerful is than gold. 
 
 In civil flates below ; 
 It moft can buy; excepting health, 
 
 Unlefs the mind*s diftemper'd ; 
 And then, indeed, the more his wealth; 
 
 The more the man is hamper'd. 
 
 LXXIL 
 Whiift wealthy Fionas keeps complaining, 
 
 Tho* with rofy health fo blefl ; 
 There is from Sa^r no refraining. 
 
 Human blame Hands fo confefl : 
 Who health, and wealth, their own can call? 
 
 Whatever fcenes fucceed ; 
 If f\\'eet Contentment crowns not all. 
 
 They are DeviFs Imps indeed.
 
 ^itus In Sartdgat€» 4^ 
 
 LXXIII. 
 Sec Rich Alotifo's fecond fon, / 
 
 The youth abroad has been ; 
 At Paris, many trophies won, 
 
 And mzny Jzgbts has ieen : 
 His father's dead ! at home he bounds, 
 
 And is a wonder thought ; 
 His pocket, worth ten thoufand pounds, 
 
 His head, — not worth a groat ! 
 
 LXXIV. 
 Fox, comes to Capper's, wants a cap, 
 
 The makers nicely hit him ; 
 Fox, wants his wit, or calh, perhap, 
 
 So fwears it does not fit him : 
 , Jull fo, when Titus Caps hath drefl, 
 
 That pelf, or praife, may crown him ; 
 The men whofe heads he fits the befl, 
 
 Are fure the leall to own him*
 
 42 ^-itus in Sandgau* 
 
 LXXV. 
 When iirft dear Peg Tom's fancy drew, 
 
 He thought it blooming fpring ; 
 As fmiles and kifTes charming grew, 
 
 He rofe on fummer*s wing ? 
 When Hymen's happy moments told. 
 
 Rich autumn was his flrain ; 
 But Peggy turning errant fcold, • 
 
 'Twas freezing Winter then. 
 
 LXXVJ. 
 
 Thofc ladies there ? fo pert, yet faif, 
 
 What mean they by their fliering ? 
 Have hearts been crofl ? isfomething loft.; 
 
 Or are the flanies expiring ? 
 Ye flirting things, whence tolly fprings, 
 
 Why fhun ye fenfe and reafon ? 
 Ye furely know, your rank is low, 
 
 Mete butter •:JiU$^ in feafon !
 
 7//«i In Sandgate. 43 
 
 LXXVII 
 The Belles are fet, the Beaus are met, 
 
 Romances fpread before them ; 
 The tea is brought — and then for thought^ 
 
 To make the wife adore them : 
 A Poet fly, gets fnugly nigh. 
 
 In hopes of fomewhat gaining 
 But fenfc, nor wit, adorn that pit, 
 
 S^o back he runs, complaining. 
 
 LXXVIIL 
 Whilft Tibby was her mailer's maid, 
 
 She bore a vaft controul ; 
 Her tongue, each day, its laram plaid, 
 
 To vex the good man's foul : 
 But when they married — flrange and true. 
 
 Her tongue was fmooth and ftill ? 
 With pleafure, neighbours ran to view 
 
 Such good, cduc'd from ill !
 
 44 y//!/^ in ^anJgdte. 
 
 LXXIX. 
 Oft Edward rails at Women's tongues, 
 
 Tho' reafon on their fide ; 
 'Yet likes to excrcife his lungs, 
 
 With wondrous pomp, and pride > 
 At firft I paus*d — in thought to find, 
 
 But foon appeared his choice ; 
 He*il not be beat by women kind, 
 
 In nonfcnfe — nor in noifc, 
 
 LXXX. 
 Mifs Peggy can fome beauty boaft^ 
 
 Has (hape and air, indeed ; 
 She is, with bucksy a favourite toaft. 
 
 But Peggy cannot read ! 
 Nor read, nor write ; nor think at alJ, 
 
 Averfe to Wifdom's rule ; 
 A queen — fometimes — at mafk, or baM, 
 
 Mifs Peggy is a fool.
 
 ^itus in Sandgatc. 4| 
 
 LXXXI. 
 The Peacock's plumage, all admire. 
 
 The fabled Juno's choice ; 
 But with difguft the moll retire, 
 
 Whenever it [creams its voice : 
 So, when on Peggy's face we look. 
 
 The mind in fancy feeks : 
 But fomething flarts, we cannot brook, 
 
 The moment Peggy fpeaks. 
 
 LXXXII. 
 Mifs Mariana, full eighteen, 
 
 What lovers round her throng ? 
 Already has fhe learnt the fpleen, 
 
 And thinks the nights too long : 
 But Mifs, fo weak in Wifdom's plan, 
 
 So loofely hath fhe trod ; 
 That whilfl fhe dreams of charming mjn, 
 
 All fee fhe wants a rod.
 
 4$ Titus in $andgate^ 
 
 LXXXllI. 
 Smart Sapholinda-hair quite grey. 
 
 Her years juft— lixty-iix j 
 Behold — the volatile, and gay. 
 
 Around the virgin mix : 
 What can fhc teach them ? tell me plain. 
 
 Why— Sir, — a wondrous llorc ! 
 To a^ the thoughjlefs, giddy, vain,— 
 
 I dare not tell you more, 
 
 LXXXIV. 
 Some modern Coxccmbs, puft^with air^ 
 
 Become mere female raiiers ; 
 Nor in their empty jokings fparc 
 
 Their frij/icurs, or l-ieir taykn : 
 But to be plain, young gentlemen, 
 
 I pray ye, jeft no further ; 
 For when weVe faid, hy Juch you're made, 
 
 'Tis neither tteft nor murder I
 
 7iius in Sandgate, 47 
 
 LXXXV. 
 Two Raree-lhows, or modern Beaus, 
 
 With modifh girls about 'em ; 
 Two barbers Ihy, were palling by. 
 
 When one began to flout 'em : 
 Hold, hold, Monfieur ! cries Jack Tonfieur, 
 
 You fliould good language give ; 
 For 'tis well known, in every town, 
 
 You can't without us live. 
 
 LXXXVI. 
 Oft Dorcas faid, her fpoufe lov'd drink, 
 
 And made it public known ; 
 But if the man fat down to think, 
 
 She pray'd him to be gone ! 
 Co where ? he cries— flie quick replies. 
 
 Good beer, at Hume's, they fay i 
 Now this was done, quite out of fun^ 
 
 That (h« might have her plaj.
 
 '^ T'ltus hi Sandgatti 
 
 LXXXVIL 
 Rude Dorcas fcoldcd every day, 
 
 When help-mate managM wrong ; 
 And tho' he's dead, her neighbours fay, 
 
 They're pefterM with her tongue : 
 What then can honeil: Satyr do, 
 
 In fobcr grace to win her I 
 But let the Devil have his due ? 
 
 For furc the Devil's in her, 
 
 LXXXVIIL 
 toor Cimon's wife, feverely rails, 
 
 Becaufe he loves the heaker ; 
 But when with him the gallon fails, 
 
 He xtth Jlraight Ixom^ to fcek her :. 
 There, clofely fet with bunging Bet, 
 
 She feems in glee for Hymen ; 
 They hand him glafs, the jokes free pafs^ 
 
 And de*il a word fays Cimon.
 
 Titus in Sand^ate. j.9 
 
 LXXXIX. 
 « 
 
 You afk what Parfon Peart believes, 
 
 His wealth fo grows upon him ' 
 And if he gives, as he receives, 
 
 Th^it Charity may own him r 
 I know he loves the prefent tenfe, 
 
 At times, is frank and free ; 
 Eut minds the Bible Xt^s than pence, 
 
 And fo do more than me. 
 
 XC. 
 
 Proud lordly looks, and flomachs high, 
 King David could not bear; 
 
 His dwelling place, obligM to fly, 
 They found no welcome there : 
 
 But Wolfey now, in orders true, 
 No moral caution brooks , 
 
 He {hews quite bare, In houfc of prayer, 
 
 His flomach, and his k>oks. 
 E
 
 ^g T'itus in Sandgate^ 
 
 XCI. 
 The corps is box'd, the clerk half fox*d, 
 
 The curate, warning fent him ; 
 But he is fet, with friends well met, 
 
 No warnings fhall prevent him : 
 He bids them wait, at temple gate. 
 
 In grave funereal torms ; 
 'Tis fair at leaft, h'lmfelfto feafl, 
 
 Before he feafls the worms ! 
 
 XCII. 
 Imperious Wolfey, feafts each day. 
 
 His body, feems his foul; 
 For thlsy whilft he neglects to pray, 
 
 With cooks he's cheek by jowl : 
 He flavers on, from courfc to courfe, 
 
 Each dainty difh his care ; 
 He takes for better, and for worfe, 
 
 How fouls hereafter fare.
 
 Titus in Sandgate, 51 
 
 XCIII. 
 ** Eat on, fay I.'* — Thus Slop will cry, 
 
 Nor heeds who elfc may ftarve ; 
 Relations may, even watch and pray, 
 
 He means himfelf to fcrve : 
 Slop thus goes on, till a'l be done, 
 
 Or fed to brawn, or jelly ; 
 He fears no rod— he has no god. 
 
 But that within his belly, 
 
 I will be rich, at any rate. 
 
 Cries worldly-minded Frames ; 
 "What's honour ? juftice ? fame, or fate ? 
 
 I think them merelv names : 
 He blunder'd on, through cunning's fkill, 
 
 And cog'd enough, *tis faid ^ 
 
 But long before he had his iill, 
 
 Pocr Frames, was blundered dea^ 
 E 2
 
 c^ Titus in Sandgaie, 
 
 xcv. 
 
 Both Vice, and Virtue, take their rounds, 
 
 With men of all relations ; 
 But fuch a wight as Judas Founds, 
 
 Is not in many nations : 
 Or vice, or virtue, or the fates. 
 
 He heads not, one or t'other ; 
 This hour he'll blefs the man he hates, 
 
 The next, he'll <r«ry^ his mother. 
 
 XCVI. 
 
 Rich PiGG took pains, in honeft gains, 
 
 I thought the man was clever ; 
 But ftill I find, his fneeking mind 
 
 Is full as poor as ever : 
 Alas ! thought I, with many a figh, 
 
 What phrenzies can controul ? 
 That men take pains, for mortal gains, 
 
 And yet negle£l their foul !
 
 iritus in Sandgate, ^g 
 
 XCVII. 
 Robin ? I fee the pains you take. 
 
 To weigh the fpurious copper ; 
 And muft at once- confcflion make. 
 
 You arc, indeed a topper ! 
 But bring your molten confciencc forth^ 
 
 So C9ind from rule and fquarc ; 
 Tlic beam will prove its aflual worth, 
 
 More light, than lighted air. 
 
 XCVIIL 
 Friend Decimal ! whilft paini you take. 
 
 To ^cep that Ledger fquarc ; 
 O let it not your mind forfakc, 
 
 That other accompts there are I 
 When fchemes of trade, are lofl in fhade, 
 
 And can no more contronl ; 
 A\>11 for you, to ballance true, 
 
 The Ledger of your foul 1 
 
 E3
 
 C4 I'itus in Sandgate^ 
 
 XCIX. 
 Alphonfo ! I now hail you joy. 
 
 Who can fo wife retire ; 
 Succefsful, in a fair employ, 
 
 • Your years fome eafe require : 
 And fure you find, true peace of mind, 
 
 Whilil moments wing their way ; 
 By plans you*ve chofe, you nothing lofc, 
 
 Your'rei richer every day ! 
 
 C. 
 
 Good ! jufl ! and virtuous ! who is he } 
 
 Can Titus make reply ? 
 Yes — if through Reafon's glafs you fee, 
 
 And dare the truth apply : 
 Such graces, form an honeft man. 
 
 Whom all rejoice to fee j 
 
 Nor have we far to fearch, or fcan, 
 
 For CoLLiNGwooD * is hc f 
 * Of Ckirton,
 
 M 
 
 Tttus in Sandgate. 
 CI. 
 Too few, juft chara£lers fupport, 
 
 In fomc important ftations ; 
 Wc need not mention Bench or Court, 
 
 There wants no explanations : 
 The magiftrate, a duty takes, 
 
 And Ought at leaft to Rnow it; 
 Falfi.right his principle he makes, - 1 
 
 And always ought to fhew it. 
 
 CII. 
 
 If magiilrates the laws negle<^, 
 
 Nor execute aright ; 
 Pkk:a?ii, foon will drop rcfpedl^ 
 
 And order vanifh quite : 
 Whfti pov;cr devolves onJJjallcu: paifSj '3 
 
 The choice, what can we call ^ 
 A fad alternative then waits, — ■ 
 
 Bitttr, had we none at all \
 
 j[6 Titus tit Sandgate, 
 
 cm. 
 
 To Butcher James, who kept a Hall, 
 
 And lambs, and oxen, flaughtcr'd ; 
 AsTRAA fent judicial call. 
 
 So he at bench was chartered : 
 Attornies ftar'd, to {tt Juch made. 
 
 They thought it Fortune* s whim ; 
 But looking round, they footfi furvey'd. 
 
 More ftiallow pates than him. 
 
 CIV. 
 Blunt Marmaduke, was always dull. 
 
 At fhop, or o'er the flafk ; 
 Not did he boaft a wife man's fkull. 
 
 Or any honours afk : 
 But Better Luck bade chances rife. 
 
 And badge him with the gown \ 
 So now he {Iruts, as great and wile, 
 
 As any chief in town.
 
 Titus in Sand^ate. ^y 
 
 cv. 
 
 Some country fquiie, is Juflice made, 
 
 Who wages war at home ; 
 His wife, and children, fo afraid, 
 
 They feldom near him come : 
 But Dedimuiy by law creates 
 
 Such guardiaiYS of our peace ; 
 There's fomewhat angry in the Fates, 
 
 Or wonders never cea/e ! 
 
 CVL 
 For all onr moral a6ls, and deeds, 
 
 We have account to give .; 1 
 From v^hence the final doom proceeds, 
 
 By which we die or live : 
 What mud thofe fenators then do, 
 
 Who cruel flatutes frame ? 
 From venal, or from carelefs view. 
 
 Futurity mull name j
 
 ^8 J'iius in Sandgatg, \ 
 
 CVIL • .! 
 
 At fraud, and cozenage, wc rail, | 
 
 In great commertial lines ; 
 
 And yet, fomc-how, thofe.imps prevail, ' 
 
 Where honefty declines : "■ 
 
 And otlier flrange amazements come, | 
 
 O'er which we flip the veil ; ' 
 What numbers thrive, by Rule of Thunob, \ 
 
 Where flrift accomptants fail I 
 
 CVIII. i 
 
 Too many cut the tin%elJhoWy \ 
 
 And buz like flies about ; i 
 
 Till fad retailers let them know, \ 
 
 Their tick is fairly out : i 
 'Tis then they flare, and ferious are, 
 
 But time is now too late ; \ 
 
 TheyVe ruin'd thofe, who credit gave, '; 
 
 And fo mufl fliare their fate.
 
 *Htus in Sandgate, 59 
 
 CIX. 
 Of all the tribes, oiir trade cau boaft. 
 
 The fhop-retaileis, hire ; 
 Oblige the wavering public moft. 
 
 In grofs miilaken hour : 
 They credit give, without a ga^e. 
 
 Nor can advice prevail ; 
 'Till numbers curfe the trifling age, 
 
 Lamenting in a jail. 
 
 ex. 
 
 How inconfillent fafhions are, 
 
 To every thinking mind ? 
 Much would our great forefathers Hare, 
 
 Could now they look behind : 
 To fee their fons, and daughters join. 
 
 To plays, and farces ilray \ 
 For thefcy produce their ready coin^ 
 
 For deaths — neglcift to pay !
 
 6d Titus in Sandgate, 
 
 CXI. 
 Excefs of credit, hath been blam'd. 
 
 And warmly wrote about ; 
 But Hill, the public, unafham'd, 
 
 By fajhion hold it out : 
 Nor till thofe laws are all repealM, 
 
 Which feed the latent caufe ; > 
 Fair traders' plaints can ne'er be heal'd, 
 
 So llrong had cujiom draws. 
 
 CXIL 
 Who caH their neighbour into jail, 
 
 Without fair equity requires -^ 
 Will find repentance 'felf to fail. 
 
 When mortal rage expires : 
 What then mufl be flern Sapho's fate, 
 
 Who torturM boned Jolin ? 
 We'll leave the Furies to relate, 
 
 Wiien Sapho hence is gone.-
 
 ^itus in Sandgatc, 4i; 
 
 CXIII. 
 Urza,' retufed to be kind, 
 
 In one fad trying hour ; 
 The Furies fteel'd her darkened mindj 
 
 Bccaufe fhe had the power : 
 To jail, Ihe fent the hlameUfs fon, 
 
 For father's wrong omillion ; 
 Let Urza, when her fands are run. 
 
 Beware a worfe condition. 
 
 CXIV. 
 
 Old Wholefale, uaz'd his Retail Friend, 
 
 For goods to give him orders 5 
 ?Ic yields— he fails — and what's the end ? 
 
 A prifon, or its borders ! 
 Now, Common Senit ! thy aid difpenfe, 
 
 And Ihew the foul abettor ; 
 Tho' laws be wrong, and power be Urong, 
 
 Of thefe, which was the debtor ?
 
 4k Titus in Sandgatc* , 
 
 CX V. 
 A Hbufe goes dawn I — which, many years^ 
 
 Like Phoebus, bleflings fpread j 
 An agent with his law appears, 
 
 And peace from hence is fled : 
 The poor dillrell, in full arreft. 
 
 Are fcnt to jail — and die ; 
 Agents ! fwear juft, for fwear ye muft, 
 
 WJiera does the muMer lye ? 
 
 cxvr. 
 
 A great commcrtial Houfe goes down, 
 
 What crowds themfelves avail 1 
 Their time is now— the rock to fhun. 
 
 They voluntary fail ! 
 A thoufand movements, in fuch fchcmcs, 
 
 Which public eye can't fee ; 
 But Satyr, fearching clofe for themes^ 
 
 Difcovery brings to me.
 
 X 
 
 ^tus in Sandgau, 63 
 
 CXVIT. 
 Nor Wrc, nor diligence fuccccd, 
 
 Mcrcator's Bench w^s broke ; 
 Againfl him, banking tribes proceed, 
 
 And doubled every flroke I 
 Thus will it be, with many morc^ 
 
 While pertain laws remain ; 
 Nor care nor diligence rcftore, 
 
 Where hgnefly proves vain, 
 
 CXVIII. 
 
 There is an evil upon earth. 
 
 Where focial compa£ts reign • 
 Which from Hades had furely birth, 
 
 And Poverty's th? name ! 
 Shame on that wayward race of men. 
 
 Who could fuch laws prefervc ; 
 Which give to one, the bread of ten. 
 
 And leave the nine to (larvo; 
 
 F;4
 
 64 Titus in Sandgate. 
 
 CIX. 
 'Tis Peace ! 'tis Peace ! the herald cries. 
 
 See, milk and honey flow ! 
 But thousand's feel how much he lyes. 
 
 For no fuch comforts grow : 
 Our ftatcfmen cater for themfelves. 
 
 They keep the loaves and fifhes ; 
 Whilil we behold but empty fhelves. 
 
 And far mprc empty difhes. 
 
 cxx. 
 
 Of fools, and knaves we frequent read. 
 Without an explanation ; 
 
 Though, in the bufy towns, indeed. 
 We' daily have occafion : 
 
 A fool—\% one, who having brains, 
 Dares yet negleft the graces ; 
 
 A knave; bad principles retains, 
 • And cheats you to your faces*
 
 Titus jn Sandgau^ 6j| 
 
 CXXL 
 Ralph quicker talks, than John can write, 
 
 He fecms in lungs far llronger ; 
 But if you'll mind, at morn or night, 
 
 John's language iafls far longer : 
 It fo, give me the ready pen, 
 
 Keep you your talk in flore ; 
 Poets, converfe with thinking men, 
 
 When tongues delight no more. 
 
 CXXII. 
 Is Luke quite wile ? — fays prating Ned, 
 
 The man fo feldom talks ? 
 Obferving Titus, foon reply'd, 
 
 As wife a man as walks ! 
 Go, bring him but one comrade true, 
 
 Improv'd in Wifdom's {lore ; 
 He'll quickly make a fool of you, 
 
 And five times tWentv more.
 
 66 Titus in Sandgatt. 
 
 CXXIII. 
 Scribcndo, hath fome clients rob'd, 
 
 And fome few acres flole ; 
 Through lengthened life, full nicely job'dj 
 
 Regardlefs of his foul ! 
 
 Sciibendo boafls, and let him boafl. 
 
 His clevernefs and riches ; 
 On me, the mighty whole is loft, 
 
 I wou*d not wear his breeches. 
 
 CXXIV. 
 Brilk Nimmo, was expert at law, 
 
 . Knew well its quirks, and tricks f 
 It's various changes nice cou'd draw, 
 
 As fidlcrs, fidlefticks : 
 He cat off orphans, from their due, 
 
 He titles cut to nought ; 
 Claims, clear as day, he cut away. 
 At laft^ he cut his throat.
 
 ^ius in Sandgate, 6l 
 
 cxxv. 
 
 Who's that ?— fays Abraham the Jew, 
 
 To friendly fmiling Titus ; 
 Kfoldier! brave as ever drew. 
 
 Nor will he raflily fight us : 
 His name is Grey* — tell Israel's fons. 
 
 Spite of your eyes and n»fes ; 
 He is, as common condud runs. 
 
 As good a man as Moses, 
 
 CXXVI. 
 
 Of friends, and friendfhips many brag, 
 
 And learnedly difpute ; 
 But timely fhakc them in a bag. 
 
 You'll fee how they turn out : 
 In fhoals, will come the fool and knave, 
 
 Where /e/f and meannefs blend ; 
 
 Now this—now that — now de'il knows what. 
 
 But not one faithful Friend ! 
 * General Sir Charles Grey.
 
 6S Titus in Sandgati^ 
 
 CXXVII. 
 
 Highly ! tighty ! what a pother ? 
 
 Made about the copper coin ? 
 Knaves and rafcals charge each other, 
 
 Deepeft in the bafe defign : 
 The poor, and needy clear acquitted. 
 
 Rich, and thrvOing form the crew ; 
 Happy were they all committed, 
 
 And at Tyburn had their due ? 
 
 CXXVIII. 
 
 Safer to Heal the horfe, they fay, 
 
 Than o'er the hedge to look ; 
 The fimpleft fwains learn this, each dayi 
 
 They find, by hook or crook : 
 Sortie, overgrown in wealth, dare coin 
 
 Whole hundreds^ without milling ; 
 But if a beggar once purloin. 
 
 He's hang'd for one bad Ihillinj.
 
 Titus in Sandgati^ Sa 
 
 CXXIX.^ 
 Yon fellow! — fuits the name 6£Cain^ ^ r y 
 
 He lives beyond believing ; 
 His knavifh heart holds virtue vain» 
 
 He fees no crime in thieving : 
 He cheats his neighbour, robs the poor, ^ 
 
 Exceeds exceeding vogue ; 
 Tho' twenty villains crowed his door. 
 
 He proves the greatefl rogue. 
 
 cxxx. 
 
 Where ever Virtue eyes a foe. 
 
 Where ever Graces point their loves j 
 With honcfF Satyr, pleasM I'll go, 
 
 To a£l, and write, as Truth approves : 
 Too many, have with us made tree. 
 
 And fquinting, cafl their Caps awry. 
 We'll fit fuch Noddles to a tee, 
 
 A« hrowf will find it, by and by.
 
 fli 'tttus In Sandgattm 
 
 GXXXL 
 I lik* to kt thee— hoacft Joe ! 
 
 So fprightly doft, and tirttt ; 
 **ris Sabbath mom l-^thou mcan'fl to go, 
 
 Whete pious people meet ? 
 And ♦^ke my word, k.ad youthful friend. 
 
 If Truth now reach thy mind 9 
 ShouW ij^c be lengthened in the end» 
 
 Thou'lt heavenly comfort find- 
 
 Cxxxn. 
 
 As ice oft bin^s the river Tyne, 
 
 'Till we no keels can rov^ ; 
 So will it be in life's decline^ 
 
 When blood can hardly flow : 
 Then, Simon \ be our prudence Ihewn, 
 
 Now, let us money fave 1 
 That when thefc freezing hours are on. 
 
 Drooping life may eornfort have t
 
 27/wi in Sandgat$. ft 
 
 CXXXIII. 
 What is this Titus ?— Readers lay. 
 
 Who writes fo free, and roundly ? 
 Me often jokes it by the way, 
 
 Yet fometimes /peaks profoundly ! 
 The mufe can tell— without a blulh. 
 If you'll but fpare his labours : 
 He is no better — pray be hufh. 
 
 No better that his neighbours I 
 
 CXXXIV, 
 
 By freedom's happy impulfe drawn, 
 
 Old Titus vilit changes ; 
 He left us at the morning dawn, 
 
 And far from Sandgate ranges : 
 He gains no wealth, but keeps his health. 
 
 Has Epigrams to fpare ; 
 If any chufe, the man's plain mufe, 
 
 Thcy*ll find him— EyertwhPRSi
 
 ftrVi ^FERTff^HERE. 
 
 '^mm 
 
 More Epigrams !— his readers cry. 
 
 What can Old Titos mean? 
 He has at once this quick Reply, 
 
 Life is at bed a checker^ Scene ! 
 Then wherefore fliould he not contrive, 
 
 When worldly Friends refrain him I 
 To keep its brighter Shades alive ? 
 
 Nor let the darkeji pain him ? 
 
 ^^feei^e^^^^jse^^
 
 i 
 OBSERVATION. 
 
 JT hath been remarked, by feveral of his Friends, 
 and WelKvifhers ; that T I T u s grows more 
 grave, and folid, in his ExprelHons ; as he advance! 
 Everywhere: That hia Obfervations are 
 tnore general, and his Epithets more delicate, the 
 farther he removes from the Neighbourhood of 
 SaNDGATe; not that they ever haitily imagined, 
 there could be any peculiar Influence in the Change 
 6{ Atmofphere ; but rather fram .ihe greater Variety 
 of Incidents, and Charafter, in the "World at large* 
 It affords feme agreeable Idec^ , to be convinced, 
 that the laconic Satirijl keeps invariably in Mind, 
 the following admired Couplets of his great Mafter^ 
 »nd Superior, Mr Pope :— . 
 
 *' CurU be the Verfe, how well fo e'er it flow, 
 Which tends to make one worthy Man my Foe. 
 To Virtue only, and her Friends, a Friend, 
 The World befide may murmur, or commend ! " 
 G X
 
 riTUS EVERYWHERE, 
 I. 
 
 /^^OME, ferious Satyr, come along. 
 
 Fair Truth, and humour by thccj 
 Let lober fenfc condudl the fong, 
 
 And moderation try thee : 
 Sure all the Nine will not forfp-ke. 
 
 When now my age advances ; 
 But flill fomc compenfation make, 
 
 For Fortune's ilrange mifchanccffj 
 
 !I. 
 
 I thank my ftars ; Old Figleave fays, 
 
 I ne'er like Titus wrote ; 
 In Trade I've barter'd all my days, 
 
 Nor car'd for verfe a groat : 
 Is this the language of thy foul ? 
 
 The ferious poet cries ; 
 
 I muft compare thee with the fool, 
 
 I cannot call thee, wife ! 
 , G3
 
 ji fitus Everywhere, 
 
 III. 
 Old Figleafi who fo flighted verfe. 
 
 At length found certain qualms ; 
 The prieft was fent for-^-to rehearfe, 
 
 The clerk to fing him pfalms : 
 But fpirits bartered quite away, 
 
 Calm dotage put in plea ; 
 And ail that they could Ung or fay, 
 
 Was merely -^Luiaby / 
 
 IV. 
 For Poets, Readers muft be found* 
 
 And candid judges too ; 
 Elfe ftrongeft fenfe, or fweeteft found, 
 
 With Fame will never do : 
 But then thefe clalTes both Ihou'd b^, 
 
 What Addison might chule ; 
 Not like fome modern's, whom we fcr? 
 
 Juft form'd by mtrc Reviews,
 
 i 
 
 If Iivl;ig amongil books, wou'd do, 
 /: One might be apt to fay ; 
 The Sellersy fure, fair Science know, 
 
 And all her heavenly way : 
 But take them in the groupe, you'll find, 
 
 Full nineteen in the Icore ; 
 To ethick Science weakly blind, 
 
 Not Indian Pagans more. 
 
 Unlucky poets bear the blame, 
 
 The critics, war commence ; 
 If ever, carelefs of their fame, 
 
 They join not Sound with Senfe : 
 But, as it happens, frequent times, 
 
 That one mud be fupprefl ; 
 If fuch omifTions mount to crimes, 
 
 Sure, want of Sound is Icafl.
 
 g» ^hus Everywhere,- . 
 
 VII. 
 Points, flops, and commas, fct aright* 
 
 Fault-finding Jude requires ; 
 And !, who fonietimes d^re to write, 
 
 Wou'd do, what Judc defires : 
 Bat, as in mufic, and in rhyme, 
 
 Is fkill, no methods teach; 
 So Jude muft regulate his time. 
 
 If he can -read, or preach. 
 
 VIII. 
 Authors ! — let Readers have a word 
 
 With you, and your fucceedcrsj 
 For all your pen appears a fword, 
 
 It has its edge from Readers : 
 For tho' you give to virtue fame, 
 
 Which in full faith is granted ; 
 V/here are the deathlefs wreatlis you claim, 
 
 If Readers aiice are wanted.
 
 J'Uus Sverywhere* I 
 
 IX. 
 Thofc principles, pne age adopts, 
 
 Another quite explodes ; 
 Thus, many a noble fyflem drops, 
 
 And Fancy alters Modes : 
 But, mind, ye poets ! warm in flame, 
 
 Howe'er your genius range ; 
 On Tru^h and Virtue build your fanjCf 
 
 For thefg will never change. 
 
 X. 
 
 Alonzo Chjqu^s, the Spanifh Bard, 
 
 Tho* noh^y born, died poor ; 
 ThTOugh Jtx '/core years t met flight reward, 
 
 And yet, his fame is furc : 
 So every poet, right incIinM, 
 
 Who dares to Virtue live ; 
 Will reap a treafure in the mind, 
 
 Beyond what Worlds can givc^
 
 8i Thus Bvery where-, 
 
 XL 
 Poets, indeed,, arc fometimes odd. 
 
 They rove through fairy places ; 
 But when firm Tfuth becomes their God» 
 
 They make us change our facc?^ : 
 For then, our foibles large appear, 
 
 And they diftin£liy draw ; 
 *Tis not the fooFs, or great man's fncer> 
 
 Can dictate them a law ! 
 
 XII. 
 Poets, themfelves, muft alfo die. 
 
 And come to Judgment too ; 
 Not all thofe tltoughts, which heavenly fly. 
 
 Nor mufe's fmiie will do : 
 They muft take care that Truth commands, 
 
 And prompt each ferious part i 
 That they preferv^e unfullied hands, 
 
 With purity of hcait ! 

 
 XIIL 
 Young PAJijJtL, happy genius Ihews, , 
 
 He has the Mufe's call ; 
 But flrivcs to humour friends ^d.foc5, 
 
 In hopes to pleafe them -all : 
 ImpolTible ! dear generous youth ! 
 
 On virtue reft thy fame ; 
 Keep.clofe to everlafting Trutii, 
 
 Tho' kings, or peafants, blam«. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 &ome of thefe Caps, fo nicely fit. 
 Suit Titus, wondrous neatly ; 
 
 And when his Foibles Truth can hit, 
 You'll fee him blufh, completely : 
 
 But when he's right, he baajis his fame. 
 When wrong, he yields to cenfare ; 
 
 Ambition never lifts his claim, 
 
 Beyond Ji^car'ian Spencer * / 
 * Author of the Acarian Shepherd^*
 
 $4 Titus Everywhirii, 
 
 XVi 
 What is this Virtue ? Pbmpo cries. 
 
 Of which old Titiis writes ; 
 The mbciern Cynic, flern replies^ 
 
 ril fet thy brain to rights \ 
 Juftice and Fortitude, go find: 
 
 Thofe (Iranger guefts to thee ! 
 Prudence, and Temperance, bring to mivAi 
 
 And then thou*lt Virtue fe«. 
 
 XVI. 
 Kirk-going Robin, often blames 
 
 The Printers, and their Devil ; 
 He gives them rude approbious names, 
 
 But pray, Old Bob, be civil ! 
 Had it not for Printers been, 
 
 Where then thy Commentators ? 
 7hy Hke^t\ic Bible ne'er had fecn. 
 
 Nor men of fenfe, Tranflators,
 
 TiiuS Everyichrf, 2^ | 
 
 XVII. 
 
 I 
 
 I've heard fome Patriots idly blame, ; 
 
 And loofely talk of Printers ; , 
 
 Without whofe aid, their rock of fame, i 
 
 Had long fince all been fplinters ! i 
 
 For what would BritiOi Freedom be, ! 
 
 On which they reft their boaft ; J 
 
 If Printing PrelTes were not free ? i 
 
 In Tyranny how loft ! \ 
 
 XVIII. I 
 
 *Twas wcnder'd much that Do£tor B h, 
 
 Should fo difpcrfe his learning j 
 And vainly ftrive to charm a town, 
 
 Whofe people want difcerning I 
 But Do£lor B n, he wou'd go on, 
 
 And deviate from his line ; 
 
 Fie would — in fpite of facred fung, 
 
 Throw pearls before the fwine I 
 H
 
 86 Tttus Everywhere. 
 
 XIX. 
 With fome, even learned Pye don't preach. 
 
 To pleafe their wandering mind ; 
 Bright Truths, their fenfes never reach, 
 
 In ignorance fo blind ! 
 Wilful negle£^, in early days^ 
 
 Now ftupifies their foul ; 
 They Ihun Religion's peaceful ways, 
 
 Regardlefs of the whole. 
 
 XX. 
 One thoufand volumes, Paul has read. 
 
 His Friends will tell you fo ; 
 Lord blefs us I what a furnifh'd head ? 
 
 Cries (hrewd obferving Joe : 
 No doubt it is, his Chum replies. 
 
 And teams with knowledge true ^ 
 But whether be Fool, or Wife, 
 
 The Public never knew.
 
 Titus Everywhere* Sy 
 
 XXI. 
 Philanthropos, midft fitting age. 
 
 His Spencer's*^ life hath wrote ; 
 Him, dull Critics fierce engage, 
 
 To hinder him a groat : 
 But let (iich Critics take their breath. 
 
 And hear Defendant's claim ; 
 They annotjfarve that bard to death, 
 
 Who lives in Spencer's name, 
 
 XXIL 
 Froud Wolfey, ftill in envy rife. 
 
 Officious friendship blames ; 
 That {Imply writes a plain man's life. 
 
 Which fmall diftindion claims : 
 But here the ferious fecret lies, 
 
 In Wolfey's pride, 'tis llievvn ; 
 
 A good man's life, his Envy eyes, 
 
 He dare not write his own ! 
 • Aiitlior of Acariaii Shepherds
 
 36 'i^itus Eveyyiuhfft, 
 
 XXIII. 
 Flajh, comes ;ilong to David't ftiop, 
 
 Ail eager for New Books ; 
 He turns o'er each, without a flop. 
 
 And fcarce one moment looks :' 
 I wonder'd much, he did not read, 
 
 I thought it fcrangeft foible , 
 Somebody whifpers — Sir — indeed, 
 
 Flafn never reads his Bible I 
 
 xxiy. 
 
 They fay, tliat fmirking Tom is wife. 
 
 He fhews it in his looks ; 
 Qn. other's Works, can criticize, . 
 
 But never reads a book : 
 No wonder, this — Old TJtus criej, 
 
 'Tis neither rare, nor new ; 
 You'll find a number, juil: like ivi/e, 
 
 In every Month's Reviewc
 
 ^itus Everywhere, i 
 
 XXV. 
 Fve been^t Grammar School, fays Ned, 
 
 And gain'd great learning there ; 
 Both Greek, and Latin authors, read, 
 
 With many a volume fair : 
 But if youn?.me to Ned — a bcok^ 
 
 Or talk of writing fenfe ; 
 Away runs Ned ; and you may look 
 
 For Ned— a- twelve months heiicr,. 
 
 XXVI. 
 
 George, juil arrivM complete from Schoofi 
 
 Each cialBc author read ; 
 Soon as he meets the World's vague rules. 
 
 He finds, a want of Head ! 
 »Iore knowledge, vet, niufl be obtain'd, 
 
 He can't without difpcnfe ; 
 Another book mufi be explain'd. 
 
 The book df Common Senfc' 
 H3
 
 ^ Titus Everywheri, 
 
 XXVII. 
 If *tis the Social Stage, you mean ? 
 
 Then, George ! take my advice ; 
 Or all the learning you have feen. 
 
 Will never make you wife : 
 Experience is the Tefl ! you'll find. 
 
 To fquare your a£tions clever ; 
 Firfl know thyfelf,— and then mankind, 
 
 Or a£l the fool for ever. 
 
 XXVIIL 
 if civil manners make the man, 
 
 Or clfe he w^alks unfinifh*d ; 
 Wc need not flare at Pharo's plan, 
 
 Who feems fo far diminifh'd ! 
 Three thoufand pounds a year, they fay, 
 
 Who know it to a tittle \ 
 He looks indeed yw// large that way, 
 
 But is-^in manners, little.
 
 • ^/Vf/j Everywhere. ^i 
 
 XXIX. 
 From travels come — young Lord's at home, 
 Hatl) beeA through Courts, and Nations ; 
 But, what fecras flrange— fo pleas'd to range, 
 
 He now forgets Relations : 
 Old Titus heal s — with Truth he clears^ 
 
 Nor ftumbles on pretences ; 
 This modern lord, in juft accord. 
 
 Has traveli'd through his Senfes, / 
 
 XXX. 
 
 How pleas'd Lord Fanny came of age, 
 
 0'erjoy*d» the lifts to- enter ? 
 In all the games, which fo engage 
 
 Young lords, who dare to venture : 
 Grey hares come on — Wliat i)ath he done» 
 
 To fc;vc his king, or nation ? 
 Why this — or that— or lord knows what, 
 
 Through lines of Dilfipauon !
 
 <j2 ~ -Titus Everywhere, 
 
 XXXI. 
 The days are lengthening, Visto cries, 
 
 Whilft morning gilds the waves ; 
 Before 'tis noon, weak Vifto hies. 
 
 To league with fools and knaves : 
 Whilft hollow hearts, and^lhallow heads, 
 
 Gan thus his fenfe perfuade ; 
 Tho' charming lengthening day-light fprcads. 
 
 Weak Vifto's loft in fliade. 
 
 XXXII. 
 On tender fprays, when buds appear^ 
 
 Which tell the riling fpring ; 
 Some moments Vifto lends an ear, 
 
 To what the wife may ling : 
 But foon as knaves or fools invite, 
 
 To faunter, or cajole ; 
 We fee befroze, in winter quite, 
 
 The Fundlions ol his Soul 1
 
 fl"itus Everywhere. 93 
 
 XXXIII. 
 All talents have, and rauft improve, 
 
 For fuch is Heaven's will ; 
 The poor, by beft endeavours move, 
 
 The rich, he richer {lill : 
 Then Viiio ! why fo condcfcend, 
 
 Whilfty^w/^ and fortune blefs ; 
 With fools and knaves your time mifpend. 
 To make thole talents Icfs ? 
 
 XXXIV, 
 Like will to like, in every flatc, 
 
 In ail conditions through ; 
 This, high and low, and fraaliand^reat. 
 
 At times acknowledge true : 
 Jf Viflo then wou'd fave his fenfe. 
 
 To ttfe his fortunes right ; 
 He mufl without his fools difpence, 
 
 And put his knaves to flight.
 
 f 4 Titus Everywhere, 
 
 XXXV. 
 Sec Mailer Tommy, twenty-five ! 
 
 . Improved in boyljh (port ; 
 He keeps the fallaions ail alive^ 
 
 Round villa, town, and court : 
 But, when will mafter Tommy fit. 
 
 That Wiidom may receive him ? 
 Why, truly, anfw^ers fome arch Wit, 
 
 When breath, and whimiies leave him* 
 
 XXXVI. 
 
 I have loft a day ! 'twas nobly faid. 
 
 Echo, of the nobleft mind ! 
 By warmth of a^ive Virtue led. 
 
 To Goodncfs* felf refign'd I 
 Alas I hov/ many adverfc flray. 
 
 Who Goodnefs cannot boaft ; 
 But, trifling, in the modifh way. 
 Whole months — whole years have loft*-
 
 Titus Everyzvktn. 9^ 
 
 XXXVII. 
 
 'TIs wrong, to wlffy for length of days, 
 
 Unlefs from good dit^nt ; 
 That we may ad J to Virtue's praife. 
 
 And after Truth enquire : 
 For what are threefcore years and ten; 
 
 If Vice and Tiines guide? 
 SiirS happier far, thcfc voungei men, 
 
 Who have untainted died. 
 
 XXXVIII. 
 OLi TTepos, ninety years hath fcen. 
 
 And fliil preferves h.h jenfes \ 
 O ?' v delighted had I been, 
 
 '-• ere thefe not half pretences ; 
 Put '• ::en I came to plumb his ?*lind, 
 
 i :\ fearch for Science rare ; 
 Fa;::* ;,ll the Knowledge I could find,— • 
 
 I\ o moral Treai'ui-es there !
 
 96 ^ti{s Everywhere. 
 
 xxxrx. 
 
 See ! veffels from yon harbour flow, 
 
 Whilfl fome are making in ; 
 Thefe, perhaps, confign'd to go 
 
 Where thofe have lately been : 
 So Birth fleers out its myriad race, 
 
 Death's myriads nearer come ; 
 Time's ebbs, and flows, keep conftant pace. 
 
 With mortals — out and home. 
 
 XL. 
 
 What's pride? what's grandeur? notions wild? 
 
 When Death becomes the theme ; 
 The oldeft man, is but a child, 
 
 The longed life, a dream : 
 Then why does Pompo vain fuppofe, 
 
 ' That he was born to rule ? 
 While Faflions are his greateft foes. 
 
 Is Pompo not a Fool ?
 
 ^itus Everyivhcre. ^f 
 
 XLI. 
 rroud Pompo, will no leafons give. 
 
 To fcrvants — turn'd away ; 
 With him — they muft no longer live, 
 
 Is- all, he'll deign to fay ; 
 To thee, proud Pompo 1 Death will comCj 
 
 With warning — by and by ; 
 Then turn thee out, to feek a tomb, 
 
 Without one re^fon why ! 
 
 XLIL 
 To fome proud Lords, and landed folk? 
 
 Would you prefume to -Tpeak ; 
 They'd fend you off, with fuch a joke. 
 
 You'd feel it for a week : 
 Their humbler ilewards, you muft court. 
 
 Without for-why, or when ? 
 A paradox will anfwer for't, 
 
 Their Mafters ars their Men I
 
 9^ T'itus Everywhere, 
 
 XLIH, 
 Sir Francis, and his tenant John, 
 
 Each other's note compare ; 
 Tho* rack'd in rent, and hard put on* 
 
 John lives ; and has to fpare : 
 With full three thoufand pounds a year^ 
 
 The Knight is fhort in plan ; 
 Truth, fearching through, demonflratcs cktr^ 
 
 That John's the richer man. 
 
 ' XLIV. 
 His half year's rent, John pun£lual brought, 
 
 And made the Knight a bow ; 
 He faid, he long had had a thought^ 
 
 And would declare it now : 
 *' Landlords, and Tenants, equal vfotdf 
 
 ** In one great rent to pay ; 
 ** He wifh'd that both might then prepare, 
 
 ** For that impottant day/* 
 
 1
 
 Titus Everywhere, 
 XLV. 
 Bis nettings, fiihcr George long drew, 
 
 Sholcs, ;ifter Iholcs, he caught ; 
 Till Death came hauling for his due, 
 
 And made poor Georjc his draught I 
 JDcath fifhes on, thro' various fhapcs, 
 
 In vain it is to ffet ; 
 No fifli, or fifheriDan, cfcapcs 
 
 His all-incleiing net. 
 
 XLVI. 
 If n^an is furely born to die, 
 
 As every day is provM ; 
 Can any douh that G O D on high, 
 
 By whom the change is movM ? 
 In life's beginning, and its end. 
 
 The Truth is plain 2^nd free j 
 
 There needs no learning to defend* 
 
 Our common fenfcs ice I 
 I a
 
 100 Titus Everywhere. 
 
 XLVIL 
 Imperial Monarchs, wars may wage, 
 
 And mightiefl fceptcrs wield ; 
 But when with Death they clofe engage. 
 
 How foon they quit the field ? 
 Some empires rife, whilft'others fall, 
 
 Ambition fcarce takes breath ; 
 But vain are mortal triumphs all, 
 
 The Conqueror, is Death ! 
 
 XLVIII. 
 The hand of Death, Ve frequent blarney 
 
 Which takes fome neighbour from us ; 
 But when in latter days he came, 
 
 And forc'd away crofs To mas ; 
 His firtends they met, not much to fret. 
 
 They drew this kind conclufion ; 
 In any Ihape, did fuch efcape, " 
 
 The world wouM be confufion*
 
 Tiius Everywhere, |0i 
 
 XLIX. 
 "How fome Folks grieve ? if you believ* 
 
 That griet coniifls in Tears ; • 
 Whene'er they come, to face the tomb, 
 
 Or clofe attend the biers ! 
 But if you heark, to Prieft or Clerk, 
 
 So carelefs in the thrall ; 
 Obfervc them pray, or iing, or fay, 
 
 Death feems no grief at all. 
 
 L. 
 
 When good Philonfo life refign'd, 
 
 Kinfmen and fons forfook him ; 
 His meniahy in^heir duty kind, 
 
 To humble grave betook him :— - 
 This is High Fafhion— Gentry fay, 
 
 But Titus, far more nice is ; 
 J. cannot, Gentry ! praife your way, 
 
 The praftice, fure, a Vice is. 
 
 13
 
 lOS Titus Ezei-yivhtfS. 
 
 LI. 
 Where is Affe£iion ? tell me, where ? 
 
 When friends, or kiafmen die ; 
 If humble duty, then we fpare, 
 
 Or laft kmd office fly ? 
 Rather,' likfe^yo/^/^^, let us come, 
 
 To make G\ir love difplay'd ; 
 In love prepare the decent tomb, 
 
 KvAfcex\itTi\ decent laid. 
 
 LIL 
 
 Avaunt ! ye narrow- thinking men, 
 
 Whom Ghance, by chance has rals'd, 
 One height beyond the niidling line, 
 
 And txirnM your noddles crazM I 
 Whatever whinifies, great folks take, 
 
 You are fure exacl to have ; 
 BTcanly your heft of friends forfakc, 
 
 No; bear them to the Q:rave !
 
 fitus tvcryvjheri, ic53 
 
 Llll. 
 Yc namelcfs, wrong, ungrateful hoft, 
 
 Vv^hat reafon can you give ; 
 Why foon their memories are loft, 
 
 Bywhofe hequeJIs ye live ? 
 The Caufes, Sutyr beft can prove, 
 
 She fpeaks without controul ; 
 They could your Poverty remove. 
 
 But not your want of Soul. 
 
 LIV. 
 I praife you, Dockwray * ! tho* unknown. 
 
 Your gratitude I've feen ; 
 When in the Temple's awful doom. 
 
 My time has ferious been : 
 The polifh'd marble, fhews your {enfe, 
 
 I call to mind your Friend ; 
 The jufl eutoglum, you difpcnce. 
 
 All — who knew him, mull commend. 
 ♦ Doftor Dockwray— Newcaftle, his Monument to 
 
 the Mrmnrv r\f Wtt> TTr.,~l« . :„ c«. vi:_ i._w.« <-> l
 
 104 Titus Everywher^^ 
 
 LV. 
 
 How many judge by outward (lioW, 
 
 And think of men, by faces ? 
 Kay fome, whom Harrifon may know^ 
 
 Chufe Watches, by their cafts : 
 But Titus will not thus aflay, 
 
 Of men, or time, the tally ; 
 He takes a far more antique way. 
 
 Nor heads, the' Moderns rally, 
 
 LVI. 
 From people's drefs, we little know, 
 
 Mor can of manners judge ; 
 Some grand, fome plain, fome midling go, 
 
 Some, forc'd in Rags to trudge ! 
 Vain Nimrod, fo bedaub'd with lace^ 
 
 Is weak., for all his boaft ; 
 Whilfl Cato, in bare-elbow cafe, 
 
 Is wife^. and learn'd as moft !'
 
 'Vitus Everyivhcrt IGJ 
 
 LVII. 
 How many pif^ures, Hogarth drew, 
 
 Where we admir'dhis parts ! 
 In thole tinknown, and thofe we knew, 
 
 He Mailer was of Arts t 
 But had he drawn, on plate, or leaf. 
 
 Their lives, in letters fair ; 
 Some had excited human grief, 
 
 And more had made us flare. 
 
 LVIII. 
 How comely looks that picture there ? 
 
 We know the man full well, 
 Acknowledged handfomc, everywhere, 
 
 He does iri/orw excel ; 
 But if Biography defcends. 
 
 His Life to let you read ; 
 fhat will be deem'd, by Virtue's friends, 
 
 An ugly One indeed.
 
 jog fitus Everywhere. 
 
 LIX. 
 Ppmpo, hath impudence enough. 
 
 To jeft ?it Holy Scripture ; 
 Becaufe His Worlhipful, forfootb. 
 
 Can't bear a feriops ftrifturc : 
 But let all Pompos learn in tinie. 
 
 Before the laft dcfpair ; 
 That Scripture forms ihe true Sublime, 
 
 For Truth inhabits there ! 
 
 LX. 
 
 If facred Scripture tells us true- 
 
 And there's no Caufc to doubt it 4 
 Then what, alas, muft numbers do. 
 
 Who widely flray without it ? 
 Its laws, and maxims, fet at nought. 
 
 They live pxophane and jolly ; 
 'Till helplefs to the grave they're brought^ 
 
 So dup'd by Vice and Folly 1
 
 i'itus Everywhtre. tOJ 
 
 LXI. 
 Itcligion's Doftrine, in his mouth. 
 
 The lettered Maho takes ; 
 Vet, turning pofligate to Tnith| 
 
 He wilfully forfakes ; 
 O tread not in falle Maho's line, 
 
 Nor be a weak compiler ; 
 Religion fpeaks the Truth Divine, 
 
 Though Maho afts the Lier. 
 
 LXII. 
 f hilippo, thinks he preaches well, 
 
 And prides himfelf upon it ; ^ 
 
 Becaufe he hears fome people tell, 
 
 How nicely he has done it ; 
 But fee his Congregation ftraying^ 
 
 Each as empty Fafhion rules j 
 So that all he hath been faying, 
 
 Only forms— a fedt of Fools I
 
 IQ% Titus EveryMherc. 
 
 LXIII. 
 Lord bllfs us I how religious grown ? 
 
 How holy, Matthew's talk ? 
 Who lately fcarce a God wou'd own. 
 
 When he cou'd fiber walk ; 
 But now, for ever in a dream, 
 
 For ever drunk ^ forfooth ; 
 Religion is his favourite theme. 
 
 He keeps it in his tnouth \ 
 
 LXIV. 
 Indeed, Friend Tomkin, tho*. demure 
 
 You look with lengthen'd face ; 
 I cannot make my Faith quite fure, 
 
 You feel the inward Grace I 
 You talk of Duty towards God. 
 
 Yet Neighbour's Duty flight ; 
 You^re wrong, through all Religion's roadi 
 
 An errant Hypocrite]
 
 Titus Everywhere^ I09 
 
 LXV. 
 Alerto, preaches pretty well. 
 
 As certain hearers fay ; 
 In decent language, clear can tell. 
 
 Which is the righteous way ; 
 But often he delights to roam. 
 
 And aft reverfc in life; 
 His Own, he leaves half-mop'd at home. 
 
 And feeks fomc Neighbour's Wife. 
 
 LXVL 
 
 It makes one fmile, to hear fomc talk, 
 
 Of Principle, and Honour; 
 Who follow Vice, in every walk. 
 
 With all her fins upon her ; 
 
 We hear them lie, we fee them cheat. 
 
 We feel how nice they fmuggle ; 
 
 With cunning how they match deceit, 
 
 Till Death winds up the juggle. 
 K
 
 LXVII. 
 Two Revcrtnd DoftorS of the Nortb^ 
 
 In feeming fricndfhip grown',- 
 Of equal learning, 6qiial worth, 
 
 Hold tenets of their own r 
 T«i$ — flings it high, as Pride can fly. 
 
 Nor fears Affliflion^s rod ; 
 That — putting Oftentation by, 
 
 Walks humbly with his G O D. 
 
 LXVIII. 
 pf all, who leap Religion^s hedgc^ 
 
 Dark H;,'pocrites are word; 
 Both Truth and Decency, they pledge, 
 
 To be the more accurft ; 
 Yor f^range Deceptions, ftill they meet, 
 
 As is the cafe with filve? ; 
 The more thcy'flrive the World \^ cheat, 
 The more they cheat thcmfelves.
 
 Titui Everywhere. ftt 
 
 LXIX. 
 ?crt matter Plump, believes he's right. 
 
 He fucks the ftraiigeft Notion, 
 That Truth, and Grace, and inward Light 
 
 Ali center in Devotion : 
 His Neighbour's Houle, he covets off. 
 
 Then t<2kss it o'er his Head ; 
 Zeal, keeps his brawny creft aloft. 
 
 Nor deems it wrong he did. 
 
 LXX. 
 With J^Qti^vt-Riii^icn, p.^.^^s Faces, 
 
 Hypocrites, hke bugs, wiU fwarm ; 
 If aught be ftirring, at his Grace's, 
 
 They '11 keep his Ears, and L'diderswarni 
 Wretches thefe ! mifchievous grO'Ting, 
 
 Bane o£ fv^'cet dom«ilic Peace ; 
 Through great Houfes, coming, going, 
 
 Tittles, Tatties, never ceafe.
 
 * 
 
 fl2 Thus Everywhere, 
 
 LXXI. 
 A groupe of falhionable Folk, 
 
 Round Ring, at Hyde Park, rode ; 
 On friends in need, they pafs*d a Joke, * 
 
 And feldom worlhipM GOD! 
 Of Time, and Death ; one chanc'd to ff oakj 
 
 Replies, in Vollies flew j 
 To be too early ^ave^ is weak. 
 
 Quite out of Fafhion now ! 
 
 LXXII. 
 
 i)amcs. Princes, Nobles, Concubines, 
 
 With brilliance deck the mall ; 
 From painful thought, the tafte which (bines'. 
 
 Exonerates ^hem all : 
 If Truth, or Virtue, chance appear. 
 
 They muft decamp to-day ; 
 For DilTipatioh's Regent here. 
 
 And will command the way.
 
 Tilfis Everywhere. 113 
 
 LXXHL 
 
 Three Livings, and a '.'Toycn Stall, 
 
 Docs plump-fac'd Judas fill i 
 
 Yet feidora tends his Sheep at all. 
 
 E'en wander where :-^ey will \ 
 
 If Judas hath not Confcieacc loll, 
 
 He fliould not Airs put on ; 
 
 Nor idly of Four Livings boaft, 
 
 *< 
 Who hardly merits One \ 
 
 LXXIV. 
 
 There are — we fpeak it to thbir (hame, 
 Whom BIcffings cannot blefs ; 
 
 Still poor, with Riches, Health, and Fame^ 
 They languifh for Excefs : 
 
 For Such, as thus abul'c Free Will, 
 What fliall gracious Heaven do } 
 
 In Charity, we Names conceal. 
 
 But Such there are— and not a Few. 
 K3
 
 Ji4 Titus Everywhere, 
 
 LXXV. 
 To kill dull Time — fee, Dives chufe 
 
 His full furrounded Tables ; 
 Nor would one moment's pleafure lofc 
 
 On thought— which fo difables : 
 Oh, poor indeed ! niidft all thy wealthy 
 
 Thy pride and follies round thee ; 
 Ho^ cai^ft thou flight thy Soul's befl Health, 
 
 To let the World confound thee ? 
 
 LXXVI. 
 What Bleffings, Providence has fent ! 
 
 What Bleffings daily fall ! 
 Yet half the World are difcontent, 
 
 Becaufe not bleft with All : 
 This, Satyr fees, with flern furprize,. 
 
 She blames the gracelefs Crowd j 
 For oh ! what fatal Mifchiefs rife, 
 
 From Man*'s Ingratitude !
 
 ^itus Everywhere, ii^ 
 
 LXXVII. 
 Jf Virtue be the road to blifs, 
 
 As wifefl Authors fay ; 
 Whence then the ft range Hypothecs, 
 
 That points fome djirker way ? 
 See crouds of Parents, floundering on, 
 
 Through Folly's b^bling ftreams ; 
 Whilft Children marking what they've done, 
 
 Purfue the like Extremes. 
 
 LXXVIII. 
 A Mafler ! — I have none, cries Ben, 
 
 Nor blufhes, when 'tis faid ; 
 For neareft neighbours flirewdly ken, 
 
 He never found a Head ; 
 But further ftill, Old Titus goes, 
 
 And bold the Truth maintains, 
 That many a Simpleton he knows, 
 
 With neither Head nor Brains.
 
 1 1 6 Titus Everyivherfi^ 
 
 LXXIX, 
 Scmpronius, thinks himfelf quite wife. 
 
 And that Friend Rolio fails ; 
 His neighbours fee through thin Difguifc^ 
 
 How fneeking Pride prevails : 
 Pvollo, and Sempronius, both. 
 
 Seem Infants^ fit for fchool ; 
 Tho' this^ in Folly keeps his growth, 
 
 And thaty is wax'd a Fool. 
 
 LXXX. 
 
 Give me the moral Honeft Man, 
 
 Without regard to ftation ; 
 Whofe Life and Converfation can, 
 
 Add Luftre to a Nation : 
 The noblefl Work of heavenly love ! 
 
 If Fortune fmile, or low'r, 
 O let his Heart in confort move. 
 
 Nor part iis-~til] the Mortal Hour.
 
 Tiius Everywhere. 1 17 
 
 LXXXI. 
 Alas, how lucklcfs Nepos fecms, 
 
 With all his fund of years ? 
 Jlonev, ftill awakes his Themes, 
 
 Where refl his Hopes and Fears ; 
 Though much hath been unjuflly got, 
 
 By fmugling, wondrous fly ; 
 He conflaqt hopes for more, in thought, 
 
 And only fears to die. 
 
 LXXXIL 
 As Garrick, and fuch Men renoun'd, 
 
 For ading well their Parts ; 
 At clojtn^ feenes, were always crown'd, 
 
 'Twas then they fix'd our Hearts ; 
 So, on our Human ftag€ the fame, 
 
 With Men of Worth confeft ; 
 If CoTtduSl feal not then their Fame, 
 
 Farewell to all the rcfV !
 
 i*%x Titus Evetjwhtr$^ 
 
 LXXXIII. 
 Than lov'd Alonzo, good and wife. 
 
 No better Mortal breatU*d ; 
 •This plain Euioglum, none denies. 
 
 All own^d it whilfl he livM i 
 But lincc his Death, Opinions crowd. 
 
 To mark his Conduct ill : 
 For Mifchiefs deluge all his Good, 
 
 From having made no TVilL 
 
 LXXXIV. 
 Forgive, fage Young ! if Truth I view. 
 
 And here that Truth apply ; 
 Some men'live Fools, with Fafhion's crcW| 
 
 And Fools refolv'd can die : 
 There are, the Rich, the Lov'd, the Gay, 
 
 Who feldom ballancc aught ; 
 OmifTions cloud their (horteil Day, 
 
 While H^ilb ire quite forgot.
 
 Titvs Everywhere, I-19 
 
 LXXXV. 
 Who can the Paradox explain. 
 
 Why FiNGERPiN fo tlinves ; 
 Whilfl Freeman labours ftill in vain, 
 
 And jufl but barely lives ? 
 This, bold in Trade, drives SmugUrig ox\. 
 
 That, will Nation-duty pay ; 
 This, boafts in age, of Fortune won. 
 
 That, — Nothing has to fay, 
 
 LXXXVI. 
 Of Better Luck, lome Tradefmen talk^ 
 
 Who ne'er faw Luck at all ; 
 Tor treading in fome beaten walk, 
 
 Their Chances are too fmall : 
 Take Courage, Lads, and Trade purfuc, 
 
 Try utraoft Care and Skill ; 
 Luck, firft muft crown each honeji View, 
 
 And 2S\.^x-^BeUer Ji'ilU
 
 120 Titus Eve'ryivhcre. 
 
 LXXXVII. 
 Like Phosbus, fet behind a cloud, 
 
 The good Pmilonso lay ; 
 Whilft a low, unletterM crowd, 
 
 Forgot his brighter Day : 
 But once the foul Opaque remov'tl, 
 
 Philonfo beaiti'd again ; 
 By all the Wife, now doubly lov'd, 
 
 The Ph«ebus of the Plain ! 
 
 LXXXVIIT. 
 MarThanio, hath a Fortune galn'd, 
 
 And he feeitis glad to fhew it ; 
 Tho* not by Principle rellrain'd, 
 
 HeM have the World to know it : 
 Like Phoebus' Beams, his Bounties flow, 
 
 Or fome falubrious Flood ; 
 The Man is rich — we now all know, 
 
 Is rich in— doing Good I
 
 Titus Everyjuhcrg, iti 
 
 LXXXIX. 
 Good Staffordy fiiic dcferves to live, 
 
 Amoilgfl the wotthiefl brothers ; 
 So prone his generous Heart to give. 
 
 He gives even Life to others : 
 He cannot bear to fee in need, 
 
 Old Men of former Merits ; 
 His Bounties foon the Thought facceedj 
 
 And foon revise their fprrits. 
 
 XC. 
 Reft, horleft Gowlard * ! till the Dav^ 
 
 When every l\lan mull rife ; 
 Thou hadft fome Foibles in the way, 
 
 Thou wer't not always wife ! 
 But Numbers, who now pafs thy Grave, 
 
 And fnufF their Nofes high ; 
 
 Will wifh thy clojin^ peace to have, 
 
 When 'tis their turn to die. 
 L 
 * A Gentlentan late of Moakwearmoulh.
 
 J 22 7/V«/ Everyvjherg^ 
 
 XCI. 
 If Gratitude can lift to Fame, 
 
 Then Pemberton take mlnCi 
 It is your juft and honeft Claim, 
 
 Oblain'd by fair defign : 
 You Ihone the welcome Friend in need, 
 
 I fpeak for Times to come ; 
 You pointed me the Way to Bread, 
 
 When I had fcarce a Crumb 1 
 
 XCII. 
 Wifely difcreet, who fpeaks no ill. 
 
 Of any good Man living ; 
 But bear to all a free kind will. 
 
 Forgiven, and forgiving : 
 Philonfo ! furely fuch you arc. 
 
 Throughout the Social Plain ; 
 Midll Life's intruding Wrongs and Care, 
 
 The tender i^^Xing man^
 
 fitur Everyjukere. IIJ 
 
 XCIII. 
 Nought earthly gives, or can dcflroy, 
 
 Fair Virtue's heavenly prize -, 
 As fung the Wind/or Shepherd-Boy, 
 Who grew fo greatly wife : 
 , And yet in bufy life tis plain, 
 '\ The pureft bofomi feel ^ 
 
 A fad variety of pain, 
 
 Which even Peace can't hcaL 
 
 XCIV. 
 Bafello, by his patron rals'J, 
 
 From hawking Coals about ; 
 Sprung forth, in manner which amazM, 
 
 To riches and repute : 
 But when Misfortue fpread abroad, 
 
 Which bruisM that patron's head, 
 
 Bafello flunk a different road, 
 
 And from his patron fled. 
 hi
 
 f 24 'Ultus Everywhere. 
 
 XCV. 
 It pains the moft forgiving heart. 
 
 In clofe reflecting Thought; 
 Cairn Reafon's Self muft feel a Imart, 
 
 From Benefits forgot: 
 But then, the truly-generous Soul 
 
 May joy, in doing good ; 
 For Charity compleats the whole 
 
 Of Ma.n*s Beatitude. 
 
 XCVI. 
 Some loudly talk of Friendlhip's flame. 
 
 But flightly pafs it over ; 
 They're only conllant in the Name, 
 
 Jull,like the roving Lover: 
 But he, who is a Friend indeed, 
 
 Will with his Friend partake ; 
 jLet Fortune's frowns, or fmiles fucceed, 
 
 His Heart can ne'er forfa.ke.
 
 xcvn. 
 
 Some far, they never found a Friend^ ' 
 
 What can fuch weak- ones mean ? 
 
 Fair Truth and Falfehood, liere they blend, I 
 
 True Friends theyVe never been ; \ 
 
 For had their Hearts once opcn'd fair, ^ 
 
 Reciprocal in love ; 
 
 Of P'riendlliip, they had felt fuch fl;are^ \ 
 
 As times could not remove. 1 
 
 xcviir. -■ 
 
 Qood Spencer's Tomb Stone*, faded fafU \ 
 
 The Letters frnik in Ihade ; • 
 
 Cathcrina, ey'd it as flie pafl, \ 
 
 And had the whole remade f '| 
 
 That Spencers name midit flill furvive. ^ i 
 
 , i 
 
 And Ihe herfclf, declare \ 
 
 i 
 
 Friendlhip, and Virtue, both alive, ' 
 
 .'J 
 
 Both Hving with the Fair i \ 
 
 . L3 1
 
 1^6 7'itil'f Everywhire, 
 
 XCIX. 
 Ye bvcly Fair ! attend to Truth, 
 
 For Truth the Fad difcoveri ; 
 Poets, ftill live in age and youth. 
 
 The warmefl conftant Lovers t 
 So faithful, to the Mufes kindi, 
 
 Their Hearts are always courting ; 
 In every day, renewal find, 
 
 True Love is fo tranfporting. 
 
 C. 
 
 I heard, Belinday was in Love, 
 
 But pafl the notion over ; 
 Nought did my counter faith remove. 
 
 From what I couM difcovpr : 
 But {ince I caught her with the pen, 
 
 The facred Mufes round her : 
 With blufhes, I confefl it then, 
 
 For deep in love I found her.
 
 ^ti^: EztryvL'kerd. 12^ 
 
 CI. 
 Who looks on f\;eet Sophronia's face. 
 
 And feels not namclefs rapture ? 
 Who hears not Mufic charm the place. 
 
 When kind fhe reads a chapter ? 
 5«t Uifcy, whofe fenfe can trace her pcn^ 
 
 How juft, how fine flie writes ; 
 Are, far exceed yi^Z'/z/WiTr Men, 
 
 In t-ational delight?. 
 
 CII. 
 
 Scnfc, and Benevolence combin'd, 
 
 Tni ahVays pleasM to fee ; 
 if brightening^ in a Lady's Mind, 
 
 No Bard more joy 'd than me ' 
 To Wearmouth- Shore — fo flightly kno-;\-n. 
 
 The Rara Avis came ; 
 And hxoxi^ht AUnerza s Vv'ieaths, full-blcv;n.> 
 
 To grace MargrettaN Fame ?
 
 1 28 Titus EvtrfUfheirt. 
 
 cm. 
 
 Why docs Belinda wear a mafk, 
 
 When certain folks appear ? 
 Ye hardly need the queftion afk. 
 
 For lo ! the Reafon's clear : 
 Wit, Beauty, Goodnefs, blcfs the Fair, 
 
 To Men of Senfe revealM ; 
 Where empty Fools and Coxcombs are^ 
 
 They're better far conceard. 
 
 CIV. 
 fortius and Amelia love, 
 
 But will not have it known ; 
 By cautious Secrecy they move. 
 
 In methods all their own : 
 Thofe^^^^2^/««- eyes ! whoever views, 
 
 Thofe blufhes which fo paint, 
 Need never run to afk the News, 
 
 Pf Chronicle, or Saint i
 
 Titus Everywhere. 129 
 
 cv. 
 
 Blulh not, ye Fair, at chafle amours. 
 They namelefs raptures bring ; 
 
 The native Privilege is yours, 
 • Ordain'd the Fruit of Spring : 
 
 I novir am old, who have been young, 
 I joy, when youth is bleft ; 
 
 And only writes, what oft I've fung. 
 Let Virtue guard the brcaft ! 
 
 CVI. 
 Yes, lovely Celia, all mufl own, 
 
 YouVe Charms to equal any ; 
 Such, rarely feen combind in ons, 
 
 And feldom fhar'd by many : 
 *Tis Heaven's Will, you take your fill, 
 
 Of Love and Frlendfliip pure ; 
 But O take care, dear charming Fair, 
 
 Of Life*s concluding Hour !
 
 13© Titus ^veryivhere. 
 
 CVIL 
 Blulh not, young M^id, to be in lovt, 
 
 Whate'er the Mode, or F^ihion ; 
 Since ferious Men of Scnfe approve. 
 
 With warmth, indulge your Paffion r 
 Had Foo!, or Knave, cajolM your choice. 
 
 Your Friends might then look tame oi^, 
 But now aflenting, all rejoice. 
 To find it fix'd on Damon,, 
 
 CVIII. 
 I wonder much, fweet Celia cries, 
 
 Why Damon flatters fo ; 
 It is, faid he, my ears and eyes. 
 
 Which bid fuch prakfes flow : 
 That Blaze of Beauty, far remove. 
 
 That Voice of Senfe, fupprefs. 
 Or ftill, my Fair, you muil reprove, 
 , I camiot flatter lefs !
 
 7uui Everywhere, 131 
 
 CIX. 
 la Wedlock, who for bleflings feek, 
 
 Mull firfl their hearts prepare ; 
 Nor let their Judgment a£l fo weak^ 
 
 To treat Advice like air : 
 For Prudence muft with Love be join'd, 
 
 If Kappinefs you aim ; 
 Or faint the raptures of your mind, 
 
 And faint the traniient flame. 
 
 ex. 
 
 Who Wedlock enter, in Free-fVill^ 
 
 ShouM lay this Maxim down ; 
 An Honeft Love is faithful ilill, 
 
 Let Fortune fmile or frown : 
 And tho' fome checkered fcenes arif«, 
 
 'Tis crimeful, to complain ; 
 Or dare to charge the blamelcfs Skies, 
 
 Since Free^JVillUnk'd the Chain.
 
 132 Titus Everywhere 
 
 CXI. 
 Horatio, and Lavinia fair, 
 
 Whilfl fingle, both were ill • 
 Tho' Pleafurcs fparkled everywhere, 
 
 A fVi/h was wanting Hill : 
 When charming Love, with Friendfhip came, 
 
 In mutual Banes to join ; 
 Behold, how permament the flame ! 
 
 Their H^ppinefs — divine I 
 
 CXII. 
 With Fortune, Wit, and Beauty crown'dj 
 
 Clariffa m^wWadmir'd ; 
 Her Beauty, Wit, and Fortune own*d, 
 
 Yet ftili fhe more defir'd ; 
 Philander faw — Philander joinM, 
 
 Like fmiles in fun-lhine weather ; 
 His Charms, his Wealth, his godlike Mind, 
 
 And now— they rel^n together.
 
 Thus Ejcryivhere, 133 
 
 CXIII. 
 How ilrange fomc Female tempers bind, 
 
 Whofe charms fccure our love ? 
 Whilft Fortune's golden fhowers dcfcend, 
 
 All gentle as the dove ! 
 But if thofe golden Ihowers abate, 
 
 Or Prudence bids to fpare ; 
 Thofe tempers alter into hate^ 
 
 Quite furious as the bear> 
 
 CXIV. 
 
 Sweet Cordelia, when Ihc wed, 
 
 Her Temper fo refign'd ! 
 Whilft Fortune's ample blcffings fpread, 
 
 She bore an equal mind ; 
 And now, thofe blcffings on the move. 
 
 Thro' Life's foreboding ill ; 
 
 Sweet Cordelia wins our love, 
 
 Her Temper charming fliil ! 
 U
 
 134 jHtus Everywhere. 
 
 cxy. 
 
 True love, with delicacy goes, 
 
 Nor fliould they ever part ; 
 For what but merely fenfual flows, 
 
 Can never hind the heart ; 
 Lavinia, charming. as in youth, 
 
 Tho* many fummers wed ; 
 Preferves her innocence, and truth. 
 
 In raodcfly difplay'd. 
 
 GXVI. 
 Ye, whom the Limner's genius warms, 
 
 Enraptured by the graces ; 
 See there confefl, their genuine charms, 
 
 Without a Vandyke's traces : 
 In good Lavinia, all combin'd, 
 
 Whilft Modefty attends ; 
 True worth and elegance of mind. 
 
 Have drawn her Virtue's friend.
 
 ^itus Everywhere. 1 35 
 
 CXVII. 
 Kind Sapho, fccm'd to Phaon true, 
 
 Whllfl fortune dealt him money ; 
 Their loves in mutual tranfports grew, 
 
 Ail fugar plurnbs, and honey ! 
 But when his riches took their flight, 
 
 His Sapho chang'd in paflion ; 
 ^o more can Phaon^s charms delight, 
 
 She flutters with the fafhion. 
 
 CXVIII. 
 When wife and hufband difagrce, 
 
 'Tis wrong to interfere ; 
 Their pains, can any ftrangcr fee ? 
 
 Or feel their hopes and fear ? 
 When neighbours differ, Sam runs iit. 
 
 With foppifh airs to rule ; 
 
 iPut Sam returns with all his fin, 
 
 An intermedling Fool * 
 M 2
 
 136 Tltui Ezcryu>hcre, 
 
 CXIX. 
 Palemon, and his Wife, I like, 
 
 They feem a focial Pair ; 
 Yet, when their Portraitures we ftrike, 
 
 What diiFerent lines tliere are ? 
 He, goes to Church, once every day, 
 
 She, cares not there to come ; 
 He goes from church, to cards and play, 
 
 5he minds her work at home f 
 
 cxx. 
 
 Flavclla, chufes for her mate, 
 
 A youth file fixt her eye on ; 
 Without a title, or efiatc. 
 
 Or fcarce a bed to lye on : 
 Her Friends, the hally aftion blame, 
 
 Whilfl ^if rejoice like iinners ; 
 For hers, are lofers by the game, 
 
 But his, are greatly wmncrs.
 
 Titus Everywhere. ^37 
 
 CXXI 
 JLord Cowpcr, took the Collier's Laf^, 
 
 And to the altar led her ; 
 J^or waited he for further grace, 
 
 But folemnly did wed her : 
 His friends all blame, and cry for fhame! 
 
 Whilft Colliers blefs he hour ; 
 ]By Reafon's light, they think him right. 
 
 Who thus hath ferv'd the Poor \ 
 
 CXXII. 
 Vou bid me freely fpeak it out. 
 
 Much honoured Polidore ! 
 I muft obey you without doubt, 
 
 My Lord ! be fool no more ! 
 While fenfual lulls, you make your feaft, 
 
 You much miftake the plan ; 
 
 You clearly ad the Part oi-^Bcaft^ 
 
 But not thc-^ ^oble Man. / 
 
 M 3
 
 IjS Titus Everywhere^ 
 
 cxxiri. 
 
 Oh, Dear Chamont ! how weak your claim. 
 
 Illicit love to pri2e ? 
 'Twill never bring you health, or fame. 
 
 Nor fit you for the ikies : 
 While yet you climb, in youthful prime, 
 
 Let Virtue warm your breaft ; 
 In fpite of Fools, feek Virtue's rules, 
 
 Air other Love's a Jefl. 
 
 CXXIV. 
 Fair Lady ! why fo rate yourfelf, 
 
 Above your prudent Neighbours I 
 You fure mufl know, our higheft wealth* 
 
 Is but Reward for Labours ! 
 Sure as a Drum, the day will come. 
 
 When Pride fliall have its due, 
 J^ach humble heart, receive their part, 
 
 And be more rich than vou.
 
 Titus Ev€ry'j.'hei-e, 
 
 cxxv. 
 
 Low Haughtincfs, and Vanity, 
 
 Create the Monfter Pride ; 
 How wild, that man's infanity, 
 
 Who lets fuch PafTions guide ? 
 Empty, the grand diftinftions here, 
 
 Beneath the fouPs applaufe y 
 Ere long, with crawling worms our fpherCf 
 
 When Death the curtaui draws. , . 
 
 CXXVI. 
 Old plodding Tom, kc^pt /muglhi^ on. 
 
 Nor car'd what Truth might; fay ; 
 At lafl he found, in duty bound, 
 
 He mufl his Duties pay ; 
 For Death came nigh, with fearching eyCy 
 
 He (hew'd what was to come ; 
 No cuni;iing Cheats, or low Deceits, 
 
 Can favc him from his doom.
 
 140 Tlius Everywhere. 
 
 CXXVII. 
 Fruit Frees are cleared known by Fruits, 
 
 Good Men are known by Deed$ ; 
 Of this, no mortal ever doubts. 
 
 Who either thinks or reads : 
 So, when our vital fands are run, 
 
 When Judgment gives the call ; 
 Then forth muft come the Deeds we've dprie^ 
 
 By which we fland or fall. 
 
 CXXVIII, 
 
 Yon pompous Miller^ £t to burfl, 
 
 With Pride, and AfFe£lation ; 
 Re bids the Devil, do his worft, 
 
 He'll ape the gaycft fafhion ? 
 Of molier^ now, he has np need, 
 
 Hcjilter'd much, from many 
 And tho' not quite fo wife in head? 
 
 He rides as pxoiid as any*
 
 Titus EveryiL'heyie, 141 
 
 CXXIX. 
 The pompous Millar, growing old. 
 
 His fobcr thoughts furround him ; 
 He thinks, his life has Ihonc too bold, 
 
 Some doubts, and fears, confound him 
 He wifhes. Double Molters now, 
 
 Would peace of Mind fecure ; 
 That he had paid Religion's due. 
 
 And Icfs opprcfs'd the Poor \ 
 
 cxxx. 
 
 Old Shylock, keeps his memory good, 
 
 As moft about him fay ; 
 He flill prefcrves an equal mood, 
 
 In hoarding, or to pay : 
 But tfnc thing needful, flill remains, 
 
 Whilft moments fwiftly fly ; 
 fie quite forgets — mi^ft all his pains, 
 
 Forgets— He is to die !
 
 t4% Titus Everywhefio 
 
 CXXXI. 
 Three mighty Monarchs of the globe, 
 
 In grand debate begun ; 
 Each dreft in coronation Robe, 
 
 To prove, what feats they'd done ! 
 Words rifing high, King Death came nigt, 
 
 Announcing by the way, 
 *' To-morrow, all the ipree mujl dity* ■ 
 
 They'd nothing more to fay 1 
 
 CXXXIL 
 To duft or afhes, filth or clay. 
 
 The lovelieft form mull go ; 
 Then Cloe, why fo falfely gay > 
 
 Why all that farce and Ihew ? 
 With moderation, youth employ, 
 
 Whilft Charms are in their bloom. 
 Of Love, and Friendship, fhare the joy, 
 
 But mind the future Tomb.
 
 7itus Everyivhere^ i^^ 
 
 CXXXIII. 
 Too common now, in modern days, 
 
 For Brother to leave Brother ; 
 Though melancholies cloud their way, 
 
 They will not ferve each other 1 
 But is fuch brotherly love complete, 
 
 As facred Laws decree ? 
 Csmfuch, at Heaven's Altar meet? 
 
 Impoflible ! to me. 
 
 CXXXIV. 
 In duty bound to ferve the Poor ? 
 
 I cannot think — fays Grub ; 
 Yet Scripture makes that Duty fure. 
 
 Ah there's the killing Rub ! 
 Thy hoarded fums, which fplended (hine, 
 
 Were only lent — not given ; 
 If breach of TrufV, fhould then be thine, 
 
 How wilt thou anfwcr Heaven ?
 
 i44 H'itus E^.' t.ry where ^ 
 
 cxxxv. 
 
 In many thoufand acres rich. 
 
 Some Lords of Manors fhine ; 
 Yet covet ftill, to fuch a pitch. 
 
 For acres more they pine : 
 In light and dark, at water mark. 
 
 They dredgi for fellow-feeling ; 
 They make a jeft, of folks diflreft. 
 
 Their chief Delight is Jicalingo 
 
 CXXXVI. 
 A certain Lord, o'crgrown with wealth, 
 
 Who made the Poor to pine ; 
 An Ice Houfe^ thought to build for bcalth> 
 
 In cooling fummer wine : 
 Why build at all ? fays Titus fret. 
 
 My Lord, in whole or part \ ' 
 In Ice, if any Virtue be> 
 
 You've Plenty at your Heart I
 
 T^tus Everywhere, 14^ 
 
 CXXXVIL 
 Toting lordly Nimrod, boails each Day, 
 
 Of mighty Feats he's done ; 
 At Chace — how oftwi led away. 
 
 How oft at Races won : 
 His Pot-Companions, fairly beat. 
 
 And halloo'd through the wood ; 
 He boafts of many a fumptuous Treat, 
 
 But can't of Doing Goods ! 
 
 CXXXVIII. 
 Behold, my Friend, a Contrafl true. 
 
 Sir James, and John, there paffing ; 
 Sir James, keeps heartfelt Peace in view, 
 
 Whilft John is fums amafling : 
 Sir James is poor in Purfe, we find, 
 
 John bears by Gold controul ; 
 The Knight is rich, in Worth refin'd, 
 
 And John, quite poor in Soul.
 
 146 Titus Everywhere. 
 
 CXXXIX. 
 Tell me, ^e Rich, when Life Ihall enc!, 
 
 When Gold no more can fervcj 
 What lame Excule ye can pretend, 
 
 To let a Neighbour llarve ? 
 If Honefty be fuiFer'd long, 
 
 Midfl racking Want to lay, 
 Ye'll find yourfelvcs egregious wrong, 
 
 la fome fad future Day. 
 
 CXL. 
 
 How fay the Learn'd in Moral Ways, 
 
 Happieft with the Good to dwell } 
 When Peter, in the l^ax-Houfcy fays, 
 
 He other Tales can tell ! 
 He ilarv'd, whilft with the Good^ wc know. 
 
 Too frequent wanted Dinners ; 
 Now rich and plump wc fee him grow. 
 
 With Publicans and Sinners I
 
 Titus Everywhere. J47 
 
 CXLI. 
 What mighty Pother oft is made/ 
 
 By High Grandees in Station ^ 
 Whilft Midiing Orders droop in fhade. 
 
 That thefe may grafp the Nation : 
 A Moral Microfcope once brought, 
 
 The Poet, Confcience eafes ; 
 And many, whom we Giants thought, 
 
 Appear like Mit^s in Checfes. 
 
 CXLII. 
 I've known fome Chiefs, in public Stations, 
 
 Mighty Zeal for Country boaft ; 
 Who, after many exultations, 
 
 Found their Pride and Folly loft : 
 For Poverty firll brought them there. 
 
 And Poverty retains ; 
 
 1 he Public Good, is not their Care, 
 
 *Tis 5^^ and Selfifh Gains, 
 N 2
 
 148 Titus Everywhere, 
 
 CXLIII. 
 Some, high in Office, frequent fcorn 
 
 The pauper Crew below ; 
 By Pride, and Ignorance, fo torn, 
 
 They Common Senfe fcarce know : 
 And yet, theyVe all of Selfifli Kind, 
 
 Alike iheir empty dcrring ; 
 Through the whole Barrel, you'll not find 
 
 One fingle better Herring. 
 
 CXLIV. 
 
 Some Clerks, and Deputies in place, 
 
 Affume romantic Airs ; 
 Good Senfe, and Patrons, they difgracc, 
 
 Whilfl no good Mortal cares : 
 What £x'd them there, is known at large, 
 
 To name it, none need flumble ; 
 'Tis only wifh'd, they'd mind their Charge, 
 
 And a£t a little humble.
 
 fit us Everywhere t49 
 
 CXLV. 
 Thofc Friendfhips have but flender Root, 
 
 Which bare Profeflions bind ; 
 They gain not ftrength of Stem to ihoot, 
 
 Above the Mortal Kind: 
 Give me thofe Friends, whofe warmth divine. 
 
 Can cheer us to the Grave ; 
 And fadelefs, through dull Cares and Time, 
 
 Eternal Bloflbms have. 
 
 CXLVI. 
 I've faid, that Honefty was bell, 
 
 In Policy's plain Road ; 
 And have this Faith of mine confcfl, 
 
 Before both bad and good : 
 But they who mean to thrive apace, 
 
 Muft mind the Fafhions fhonc i 
 
 They'll fee Collufion rich in Place, 
 
 Where Honefly has none. 
 N3 
 
 \
 
 150 Titus Everywbrre. 
 
 CXLVII. 
 l)id Roman Virtue bind us all. 
 
 We Better Luck might fee ; 
 Where haplcfs numbers daily fall, 
 
 Through pinching Poverty : 
 RoujJeau\ Remark might move uf then. 
 
 Our tender Feelings touch ; 
 At multitudes oi Jlarving Men, 
 
 Whilft fome have far too much= 
 
 CXLVIIi; 
 With Fools, be fure you foolifhj^^w, 
 
 But with the Wife, be wife ; 
 You'll find in this one wride extrcam> 
 
 A faving Maxim lies : 
 How gricv'd am I, when Clio talks. 
 
 When Fools about him throng ; 
 Yet when with Men of Senfe he walks, 
 
 He raoilly holds his Tongue.
 
 Titus Everywhere, f^| 
 
 CXLIX. 
 I fee it touch, and grieve you much, 
 
 When Clio talks with Fools ; 
 You think that then, he fhou'd refrain, 
 
 From all true Wifdom's Rules ? 
 He might difpcnfc, with want of Senfe, 
 
 Difcourfe like them, he Ihou'd ; 
 I tell you plain, the atttempt is vain, 
 
 He cannot, if he wou'd. 
 
 CL. '-. 
 
 Flavia and Sophronia met, 
 
 A mild Difcourfe began ; 
 I liflened to the kind Debate, r 
 
 And thought the Moments ran : 
 At length the friendly Conteft o'er, V 
 
 My Mind I free exprefs ; 
 I wifh'd Sophronia had fpoke more, 
 
 And Flavia had fpoke Icfs.
 
 l^Z 1'itus Everywhere, 
 
 CLI. 
 Merit, by Envy ilill purfu'd, 
 
 In every Age and Place ; 
 By keeping fleady to the Gocn^, 
 
 Preferves its native grace : 
 We know, learned Moises preaches fair, 
 
 Tho' Ziolus different tell ; 
 But all that Zoilus fays, proves Air, 
 
 LearnM Moifes preaches well. 
 
 CLIL 
 Philanthro has his F&es on earth, 
 
 Like moft ingenious men ; 
 From dark Stupedity their birth, 
 
 Or yellow Envy's den : 
 Infallible^ no Mortals are, 
 
 But JufiicB<cti.zxk.'& him for her own , 
 He preaches Do£trinc found and clear. 
 
 And is for Senfe and Manners known.
 
 Titus Everyjuhert, 1 53 
 
 CLIII. 
 :;Gpho fays, in Stella's Mind, ' 
 
 She fees no heavenly Grace ; 
 Nor is the envious fhe more kind, 
 
 To Flavia's beautious P^ace : 
 Yet flill the lovely Pair delight. 
 
 And bear a jufl controul ; 
 This winning Fair One, charms the fight, 
 
 Whilft that hath won the Soul. 
 
 CLIV. 
 
 Tho' fagc Alphonfo flceps away, 
 
 Neglcaed by the World : 
 Forgot, his former brighter Day, 
 
 Thro* dark Misfortunes hurl'd : 
 The Man remains, in Moral Eye, 
 
 True, as the Dial to the Sun ; 
 Nor Pride, nor Envy, can deflroy 
 
 The Govdy which he l>ath done.
 
 154 Tit2{s Everywhere. 
 
 CLV. 
 To fee Eugenio want in Age, 
 
 Gives pain to ferious thought; 
 — It moves the Nine's fatyric Rage, 
 
 At what the Caufes wrought : 
 And yet the dunciad giacelefs Crov^d, 
 
 A flight Remorfe difpencc ; 
 They fee not bafe Ingratitude, 
 
 Nor yet tlieir want of Senfc. 
 
 CLVI. 
 Of good Ryolto*s Seat, fo known, 
 
 I took a ferious view ; 
 Wheie Hofpitality once Ihonc, 
 
 We find, Short Commons now : 
 So have I feen, a beautious Cage, 
 
 Where fwect Canaries thrillM ; 
 Bought by fomc Booby of the Age, 
 
 With Tommy Noddles filled.
 
 7'itus Everyix'lcn. 155 
 
 CLVII. 
 That dull Stupidity will catch 
 
 The Livelieft, in fome places ; 
 Wc need no Embafly difpatch. 
 
 To alk it of the Graces ! 
 With Maltho, in his humble Cott, 
 
 Our Thought fublimely pafles ; 
 Eut when to Rollo's Manfion brought, 
 
 We think of Fools and Afles, 
 
 CLVIII. 
 It ne'er can vex an Author's Mind, 
 
 When Men of Senfe perufe him ; 
 Who meeting Faults of various kind, 
 
 Of right, may freely ufe him : 
 But when fome Dolthead comes to flare, 
 
 Or wanton Judgment pafTes ; 
 Nor Profe, nor Poetry can bear, 
 
 To be reviewed by J^Jf^s.
 
 156 Titus Everywhere. 
 
 CLIX. 
 Once out of Sight, quite out ol Mind, 
 
 Cries heavy-fighing Paul ; 
 Plain Reafon*s many eafy find, 
 
 Tho' he finds none at all : 
 The fail Aflbciates of his love, 
 
 Were Scum of modern Schools ; 
 Whom generous notions ne'er can move, 
 
 A Pack of fenfelefsTools. 
 
 CLX. 
 
 Caftalio, leads a fingle life, 
 
 He thinks it wrong to wed ; 
 He fhudders at the name of Wife, 
 
 Yet likes the Marriage Bed ! 
 Caftalio's rich, nay, fome fay, Wife, 
 
 But 1 decline belief; 
 For whilft he fleals another's Joys^ 
 
 Caftalio is a Thief I
 
 ^iius Everyu.'h€re, 157 
 
 CLXI. 
 Plain Matthew, rofc with fober Senfe, 
 
 When Fortune prov'd fo kind ; 
 Nor fplendid ShiUings, Pounds, nor Pence, 
 
 Could cafl his equal Mind : 
 The Man was always calm, and plain, 
 
 He kept an humble Heart ; 
 Joy at his Luck — who could refrain ? 
 
 All round him Ihar'd a paxt ! 
 
 CLXII. 
 When Curate Aaron held his Place, 
 
 He feem'd to fuit the flation ; 
 Behav'd with Decency and Grace, 
 
 Nor ap'd high Priefts of Fallilon : 
 But when to Dignities he rofe. 
 
 When Wealth came ftreaming in ; 
 
 He left Old Friends — created Foes, 
 
 Nor minds his Vows a pin. 
 O
 
 158 7^1 tus Everywhere, 
 
 CLXIII. 
 To a Collage, Titus ventured once, 
 
 Amongft the learnM Pegkees ; 
 And there he thought was many a Dunce, 
 
 For all their Common Pleas : 
 He imag'd to himfelf. Fruit Trees^ 
 
 Believing he faw many ; 
 But when he- fought for Grapes to pleafc^ 
 
 Alas ! he fcarce found any. 
 
 CLXTV. 
 
 Old Titus would to DUNHOLME go, 
 
 So vail his Thirft for Knowledge ; 
 And that he might its Beauties know, 
 
 He firfl approached the College : 
 Luxurious Indolence lay nigh, 
 
 He fhudderM at the fight ; 
 But when Pontific Pride ^k/> by, 
 
 He Tairly took to flight ^
 
 Situs Everywhere, 159 
 
 CLXV. 
 To a Court oijujiicey Titus came. 
 
 To hear feme Special Pleaders \ 
 For fure, thought he, we'll find the Dame, 
 
 Amongfl fuch righteous Breeders ! 
 But when the Caule was open'd out, 
 
 That Quibbles rofe in Play ; 
 Confounded then, he gave a fliout, 
 
 And fought another Way. 
 
 CLXVI. 
 That London was a dainty Place, 
 
 A great and gallant City ; 
 I oft have read, with fmiling Face, 
 
 From Gay, the grave and witty : 
 Here had that Honeft Man been now, 
 
 He'd Icngthen'd his Protefl ; . 
 
 For Life fcems made, by Falliion's Crew, 
 
 A Tragi-comic Jell ! 
 O 2
 
 i.6o Titus Everywhtre, 
 
 CLXVII. 
 From Kingfington, to Hanging Dbck, 
 
 If you*H the Streets furvey ; 
 You'll weep at many Scenes, which Ihock, 
 
 At others, — laugh all day : 
 So interchanged, our changes move, 
 
 Joys and Sorrows mutual are ; 
 Pure Hymen joins illicit Love, • 
 
 And Vice and Virtue link in Pair. 
 
 CLXVIIL 
 In London — longer your abode. 
 
 More Raree- Shows you'll fee ; 
 So many Punchinellos odd. 
 
 You mull diverted be : 
 Low Life — perform'd above the Stairs, 
 
 High ! wondrous High ! below ; 
 Farce, Folly, Nonfenfe, dance in Squares, 
 
 To grace each Puppet Show,
 
 Titus Everywhere, l6i 
 
 CLXIX. 
 
 For Poets, London is the place, 
 If Reafon join with Senfe ; 
 
 And Fortune yield the chcaring grace, 
 Of happy Competence : 
 
 For there — Variety they find. 
 In full exhauftlefs flore ; 
 
 With trueft. liberty of Mind- 
 Can even Kings have more ! 
 
 CLXX. 
 To London Town, Lampoon© went, 
 
 He thought his Brain quite fleady ; 
 But foon return'd, ail difcontent, 
 
 With Head moft flrangely giddy : 
 The filly Bard, had Senfe forgot. 
 
 Nor Prudence took to raifc him, 
 No wonder then, his Thoughts were loft. 
 
 The Fafhions foon wou'd cr:2:::e him. 
 
 03
 
 1 62 Tiius Ever-ywhere. 
 
 CLXXI. 
 Kind, courteous Chaps ! receive your Caps, 
 
 Your Anions pay the Price ; 
 \i well you've done, let Virtue own, 
 
 If ///, — appeal to Vice I 
 The Maker feels bimfelf in plight, 
 
 By keeping Truth's fair Line; 
 If Wrong you chufe, inflead of Right, 
 
 It is no Fault of mine. 
 
 CLXXII. 
 Now, honeft Satyr ! let us part, 
 
 Long familiar have wc been ; 
 Old Titus, mufl: prepare the Heart, 
 
 For Life's concluding awful Seen? ! 
 And Gentle Readers, fare ye well, 
 
 At leafl, fome kind Remembrance lend, 
 Fhilanthyopy, remains to tell, 
 
 That TiTU5 was— and is your Friend.
 
 ORIGINAL TIECES. 
 
 H U IVI O R O U S EPISTLE. 
 y\ S full as much rejoic'd am 1 
 
 As Lovers, who to lovers fiy ; 
 Whene'er a Letter comes from you, 
 My Friend ! fo chearful and fo true : 
 Much honour'd am, by what you fay. 
 And glad would give you all your way ; 
 Eut then, this genius is fo ijice, 
 She will not follow all advice : 
 Long fince, Morality flie wed, 
 And keeps that Idol in her head ; 
 Triumphant o*er the paffive heart, 
 They cannot now in rcafon part.
 
 y4 Humorous Epijlle 
 
 You fay, ** My Writings are too grave, 
 You want fome merry glees to have ; 
 Sonne puns — fome jokes upon the times, 
 Sheer wit — in Hudibraftic rhimes : 
 You'd have me ramble into life. 
 See Pride and Common Senfe at flrife : 
 Tell how the modifh fafhion glares. 
 Above, and far below the Hairs ; 
 How fome get rich by Politics, 
 And greater Cowds, by Knavifh Tricks. 
 In fhort—you'd have me laugh and ling, 
 Nor flop — at Minifler or King 
 
 I cannot 'do ;it— that's the Truth, 
 But rather than you faint, forfooth, 
 
 Come fee my Epigrams you'll find 
 
 Somewhat there, to pleafe your Mind ; 
 Once more my Glynand Cliathamread, 
 And rhen I'll give yon Songs indeed.
 
 Humorous EpiJlU, 1 75 
 
 Mean time, the following ftory hear, 
 YouVe neither fpleen nor gripes to fear. 
 
 Once — yes once, upon ^Pafte- Egg-Day^ 
 Some Lords and Ladies met to play ; 
 For then, fuch paflimes bore the bell. 
 Like old Olympicks : full as well ; 
 And now, our gentry on the green, 
 ThrongM forth, to fee, and to be feen. 
 Moment this, for allignation, 
 And all the courtefy of fafliion. 
 
 A poor Old PFomariy pafling by, 
 •Gaz'd at the Ring, .vith curious eye ; 
 Sometimes frowning, fometimes fmiling^ 
 In thought approving — or reviling. 
 Not yet quite froze, by want or age, 
 Her fancy cou'd at times engage ; 
 Her years might reckon eighty- five, 
 But Curiofity was flill alive :
 
 |:7& Humh-Gus EplfiU 
 
 She fixt her Barnacles to Nofe, 
 
 The better to obferve the (hows. \ 
 
 Dilcover'd foon— Some wags flept forth, j 
 
 And afk'd her, wliat fuch fights were worth ? j 
 
 What did (he think of genteel modes, i 
 
 Where Half believ'd themfelves Half-Gods ? \ 
 
 And t'other Half— fo wondrous wife, \ 
 
 Believe that blifs in trifling lies ? \ 
 They begM that fhe wou'd frank declare 
 What fhe thought fuch people were? 
 
 The grey-hair'd matron rub'd her eyes, i 
 Then turn'd herglafTes to the fkies ; 
 As if to catch fome thought in cue, \ 
 
 To give them Truth, and Laughter too. ; 
 
 Next, humbly begM for fome Pajle Egp, 
 With leave to fit, — to eafe her legs. J 
 
 Then down fhe fquats, and round they throng, ■ 
 Impatient for fome joke- like fong \
 
 Humorous Epijtle, 1 7 7 
 
 Of eggs, they brought her number nine, 
 All nicely markM, and colour'd fine. 
 One, was blacker than the floe. 
 Another, white as driven fnow. 
 Red, crimfon. purple; azure blue. 
 Green, pink, and yellow, rofe to vic\\ . 
 She clofely paVd them, one by one, 
 Broke this, and that, till all were done. 
 Then fhrug'd her llioulders,--wav'd her head? 
 But not one fy liable fhe faid. - 
 
 Amaz'd, at lilence fo profound ; 
 The Quality prefs clofer round ; 
 And gently urg'd her, more and more, 
 To anfwer what they alk'd before : 
 And how did one fo ripe in years, 
 Eftimatc a life like theirs ? 
 What femblance, worthy Obfervation, 
 Suited the Heirs of Diflipation ^
 
 1 
 
 j^S Humsrous Epiflle \ 
 
 Whilfl fhe, kept peeping up and down, 
 As feeking how their wifh to crown 
 What had Ihe apropos to fay ] 
 
 Of Perfons fo fuperbly gay ? 
 
 ♦* In troth — quo' fhe, Tm Ihort and plain, \ 
 Long fpcaking only gives me pain ; - 
 
 And faith I have ye, gentlefolks, \ 
 
 As clear in view, as whites or yokes, I 
 
 So like thofe Eggs— I can but fmile, | 
 
 In every caft of light and llyle. 
 Your tranfcient colours, fleet as theirs, 
 Yomjlimjtnefs^ in fpite of airs ; 
 In fubflance, fcarce more rare or new, 
 Some but parboiVd — and fome par-rotten too ; 
 Of little worth, in Wifdom's Eye, 
 And thrown, at laft, like Egg- Shells by/' 
 
 They heard— they frown'd — but fled the 
 green. 
 As if a Thunderboh had been.
 
 HILL-HOUSE, near MoNKWEARMOUTK. 
 
 (llth Oiloher^ 1/83.) 
 
 T> RIGHT Phoebus fmilcs on Hill- 
 House Grange, 
 
 Where now my Heps incline ; 
 The thoughts in fylvan fancy range, 
 
 Whilil peaceful joys are mine : 
 
 So Iweet this fine autumnal day. 
 
 So pure, in foftening glow ; 
 Nor Spring, nor Summer's genial ray. 
 
 Could more delights beflow. 
 
 O'er hills, and valley ; woods and plain, 
 
 Nice auburn colours Tpread ? 
 Variety revives again, 
 
 In checkered lights and Ihade. 
 P
 
 l80 HUl'Houfe. 
 
 Who fees not rural nature's charms. 
 
 Which all her works difplay ? 
 How fweet when vernal beauty warms I 
 
 How lovely in decay ! 
 
 Weak all our human knowledge here. 
 Which would her courfe confine ; 
 
 From age to age, from year to year, 
 She proves herfelf divine. 
 
 Round Hill-Houfe Grange^ what views arifc? 
 
 To feaft the ferious mind ; 
 Thofe fouls which contemplation prize, 
 
 May here amufement find. 
 
 The calm maeandering IVeary purfues 
 Through various foils its way ; 
 
 And leaves the pi6luring thought to chufe 
 Fit objedls for the day.
 
 AiUl-Houje. i8i \ 
 
 Aj CafUe, Hi /tony and thy groves, 
 
 May well the nine invite ; ] 
 
 Tliere grow the themes which honour loves. 
 And yield the brave delight. 
 
 Heroes of old, were long thy boaft, 
 
 i 
 When martial valour fhone : 
 
 i 
 Renown'd their deeds, from coafl to coaft, ! 
 
 To kings, and conquerors known. ^ 
 
 Nor lefs in private life their claim, \ 
 
 So high in generous parts ; { 
 
 Pofterity may trace their fame, j 
 In kind and noble hearts . 
 
 Not fo thy modern pralfe excels, ; 
 
 The mufe contracts her wing ; \ 
 
 YtX One, within thy manfion dwells, i 
 
 Whofe worth fhc means to fing, . 
 
 ?2
 
 i82 H'lll'Houfe, 
 
 B^t now, Hill-Houfe becomes my choice 
 
 For this moft charming day ; 
 I Nature view, and hear her voice. 
 
 Where Peace and Virtue flay ! 
 
 Beneath yon humble roof combind, 
 Tliey grace a youthful pair ; 
 
 Whom facred Hymen lately joined. 
 Pure nuptial Truth to Iharc ! — 
 
 May Love, as lafting as iinccfc. 
 Reward each faithful brcaft ; 
 
 And Friends behold them, year by year. 
 With Peace and Virtue bleft.
 
 THE POET RELIEVE.D, 
 
 AN EPISODE. 
 
 "Vj EAR IVhitbiirn Steel, at early dawn, 
 
 A Poet bent his way ; 
 By choice of Contemplation drawn, 
 To meet returning day : 
 
 For whatfoever changes came 
 
 To alter Motal Laws ; 
 His Faith, his Hope, look'd up the fame. 
 
 To One Eternal Caufe ! 
 
 But fome difquietude he found, * 
 Which deep on Temper bore ; 
 
 What prefent thoughts cou'd not expound, 
 Nor had he felt before. 
 P3
 
 184 ^f^c Poet Relieved. 
 
 He wonderM much from whence it role» 
 
 Examin'd Reafons through ; 
 O'er every clafs of Virtue's Foes, 
 
 Yet no folution drew. 
 
 A frowning Fortune long had been 
 
 Familiar at his heart ; 
 For whilft calm Prudence pois'J the fccnc, 
 
 He could fupport hi$ part ! 
 
 Indeed— low Injuries, of Iatc> 
 
 The trafh of crafty Wiles ! 
 Had forcM him from a Mufe's feat. 
 
 Where oft he Ihar'd her fmiles. 
 
 Compcird to feek a dwelling place. 
 
 In meercft Cottage Room ; 
 Which feem'd condition to difgrace. 
 
 And where few Friends would come.
 
 l^he Poet Relieved. i8S 
 
 This touchM his thought — he keenly charged 
 
 - Some narrow-thinking men ; 
 Refentment, as fhe bolts enlarg'd, 
 Cali'd loud for Satyr's Pen. 
 
 Imperial Satyr, bright appeared, 
 
 With Truth, her faithful guide ; 
 
 Keen Darts, from Choifeft Quivers clear'd. 
 Were aim'd at Vice and Pride ; 
 
 Pope's lively Genius then fhe hail'd, 
 To bring the nervous flrain ;] 
 
 Which heretofore fo high prevail'd, 
 In Anna's glorious reign. 
 
 Equipt, arid eager to begin, 
 
 She mark'd One Ihamelefs PFight, 
 
 Sly fculking o'er the furrow'd green, 
 And others, jufl in fight. —
 
 l86 "The Poet ReUeved, 
 
 When lo ! Pierian Clio fhonc, 
 
 With foftly-piercing eye ; 
 The Poet feh his anguifh gon^, 
 
 Refentment vanifh'd by !-^ 
 
 She afic'd, what crofsM his ufual thought ? 
 
 So happy and fo free ; 
 He pointed to the lonefome Cott, 
 
 And feem'd quite grave to be. 
 
 There needs no more — each latent caufe 
 
 The Goddefs foon defin'd ; 
 Then as her magic circle draws, 
 
 She thus affuag'd his mind, 
 
 ** What lower ycl ? — well, be it lo \ 
 
 Such chances oft refine : 
 Beneath thee ft ill each paltry Foe, 
 
 Wliilft-fwcet Content proves thine 1
 
 "fU Poet Relieved. 1 87 
 
 ** If rofy Health her blifs renew, 
 
 If balmy Peace remain ; 
 What more can faulty Bioclcheads do, 
 
 Than fliarpen thy difdain ? 
 
 '♦ Each bufy intcrmedling Tool, 
 
 Each undermining Slave ; 
 Slind to Religion's Golden Rule, 
 
 Our pity need to have ! 
 
 •' Since youth they've ftray'd, and quite forgot 
 To glean from Wifdom's Store ; i 
 
 So Vice for ever glooms their Thought, 
 Alas, they know no more I 
 
 *• Unletter'd Ignorance, their pica, 
 
 At fome enquiring day ; 
 But fhould that Ignorance wilful be. 
 
 What mull fuch Blockheads fay ?
 
 1 88 Tbe Poet Relieved. ' 
 
 " No matter, tho' of Dwelling Place \ 
 
 Fools difpoflefs'd thee wrong ; \ 
 
 Themfelves derive a foul difgrace, \ 
 
 Such Deeds to fuch belong : I 
 
 •j 
 " Like Vapours, rifing from the dung, j 
 
 i 
 Yet lagging, as they rile ; ! 
 
 We foon behold in mid-way hung, j 
 
 Too grofs for purer Ikics I j 
 
 <* Confcience, ere long, muft throw the dk \ 
 
 " j 
 
 Of each unequal fquare ; 
 
 Whilft Juftice, lifting Scales on high, i 
 
 Will prove them light as air ! | 
 
 *i 
 
 •* Then to their Wiles the Creatures leave, 
 Our Admonition vain ! j 
 
 Through life, they Neighbours may deceive, ] 
 But Death will all expain.**— ■
 
 Tie Poet Relieved, 189 
 
 The Goddcfs fpoke— the Poet fign'd 
 
 To Cottage near in view ; 
 Where, fct ferenc, you'll Clio find. 
 
 With iweet Contentment too. 
 
 Thrice welcome here be every Friend, 
 
 In Senfe and Virtue grown ; 
 Who perfccuted Truth defend, 
 
 And make its caufe their own ' 
 
 For happinefs, whilft numbers roam. 
 
 And feem at large to live ; 
 Thofe Souls compleateft find at home. 
 
 In Feaccy the world cann't give • 
 
 Fathers of old, with Wifdom crown'd. 
 
 In fage Experience try'd i 
 True blifs in Cottages oft found, 
 
 When Pallaces denv'd !
 
 J90 2^^ Poet Relieved. 
 
 Thefe pointed Proofs, the Bard confcfb, 
 
 He from his heart bclicv'd ; 
 Late ills i;io more perplex liis breaft. 
 
 So perfectly reliev'd ! 
 
 What Thanks belong ? dear generous Few 1- 
 For Fricndlhips, timely fhcwn ? 
 
 The Nine prepare a Wreath for you. 
 To be in future known ; 
 
 A Wrcatli, fuperior to the paft. 
 
 Choice of Parnaflian Store ! 
 Which well- meant Praife fhall furely Jail, 
 
 When I caj;i write np more. 
 
 FINIS.
 
 ERRATA. 
 
 Pa^c. 5. line 8 . for CAPS, read CAP.i-p. 8. 1. 8. 
 for for, read far. — p. 11. 1. 8, for fame, re^f/iame. 
 — p 16,1. 14. for deference, re^dd/ference. — p. 21. 
 1. I. for Hypocrites, read Hvpotritus —p. 30. 1. 10. — 
 for far>7e, re^dfave. — p 4r. 1. Lift, for lea/}, read 
 
 Ja/} p. 43. I. II. for laram plaid, read larurn 
 
 played. ^^p, s6. I. 3. for Astra a, reud AsTRiEA — 
 
 p. 86. 1. 17. after whether add -^c?. p qr. 1. 13, 
 
 for /iares, rend kairs. — p 122. 1. 14. for plain, re^d 
 
 plan. p. 127. 1. -7. for Are, read Far. — p. 131. 
 
 1. 6. for you, read your, ^-^, 137. 1, 6. for^, read
 
 m 
 
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