^GINGER CUBES by .. CHRISTOPHER MORLEY I. ! . . Reprinfed how THE BC New York Evening Post THE BOWLING GREEN OF THE U fl is tender homily is dedicated to (but not aimed at) DANIEL HENDERSON in conference with rohom while sitting at lunch it was first conceived 2O VESEY STREET NEW YORK CITY APRIL. 1922 COPYRIGHT 1922. BY NEW YORK EVENING POST, INC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED BY THE AUTHOR M170674 [A letter from the Proprietor of the Ginger Cubes to his Advertising Manager, who is ill in hospital.] Dear Russell: When I heard that you had been taken to the hospital with a badly dislocated sense of proportion and exhaustion of the adjective secre tions, I was worried. The doctor said that you were suffering from a severe attack of deprecation and under-statement, and I feared that would mean you would be quite unfit to help me in the forthcoming campaign for Ginger Cubes. But I hear now that a few weeks of silence and relaxation will bring you round. I have ordered the "Police Gazette" and "The Nation" to be sent you. Each in its own way is highly entertaining. In our last conference, just before you were taken ill, you tried with your usual energy and bullheaded vitality to persuade me to say a word about the Ginger Cubes at the Paperhangers Convention. You made a great deal of the point that this would be a vast gathering, and that it would be excellent busi ness for me to give them a "message." I ask you to meditate this thought : give me a small group of folks who are more or less interested in the same sort of thing that I am, and I will "talk my head off." But speaking to large, miscellaneous audiences, many of whom are only incubating there to pass away the time until the theaters open, is my idea of loss of compression. We have appropriated a fine promotion budget for the Ginger Cubes, but I arn holding up any action until I can argue the situation with you. About newspaper advertising, for instance I want your , ; , opinion as to the papers which are read ( 1 ) most carefully, (2) by the class of people to whom the Ginger Cubes are likely to appeal, (3) at the time of day when their minds (and palates) are recep tive i. e., morning or evening? For instance, do you think that people will be likely to be tempted by the Cubes in the morning, just after breakfast? I think not. I believe that the evening, in that faintness and debility that are supposed to attack office-workers on their way home (especially in the subway) is the psychological zero hour for the Ginger Cubes. Miss Balboa, to whom I am dictating this, says that she never noticed any sign of weakness or lack of energy in the evening rush on the subway. I believe it is worth while to get the feminine reaction on this matter before we make any decisions. One thing I have always regretted about you as an Adver tising Manager is that you are not married. Wives are often very helpful in these questions of merchan dising strategy. But perhaps you can question some of the nurses at the hospital and get their reaction. In regard to these mediums, the question of cir culation does not cut any ice in my cynical and querulous mind. It is not a matter of circulation, but of penetration, that excites me. The chemical laboratory reports that the Cubes will positively have a soothing and tonic effect upon the digestive organs, and that we are justified in say ing so. Unfortunately they say that the Cubes can not possibly be of any Value in combating "py r - rhea," so we cannot go riding on the other folks toothpaste copy. For your amusement, I have thought up this slogan : Why Not Invest in A New Intestine? TRY GINGER CUBES Which is probably too startling. But anyhow, when we have decided, I wish our copy to be Cumulative, Concise, and Continuous. Then, ho for the Ginger Cubes! Yours, NICHOLAS RIBSTONE, President The Ginger Cubes Corporation. N.R./D.B. II. [A letter from the Proprietor of the Ginger Cubes to his Advertising Manager, who is ill in hospital.] Dear Russell : I am glad to hear from Dr. Nichevo that you are doing well. He reports that in your delirium you had visions of nothing but full page insertions, so I realize that you must have been a very sick man. I am glad you are coming out of it. The Doctor says that a little quiet meditation on busi ness problems will help to bring you back to "nor malcy." So you might think this over. I have just been telling the boys at our conference this morning that I want our advertising matter for the Ginger Cubes to be distinguished. IVe been much impressed, for Some suggestive layouts that make my head spin. instance, by those ads that Childs restaurants have been running for some time, in which they make use of historians, philosophers, poets, and what not, to introduce the topic of food. I (am wondering whether, in your extensive reading, you have come across any literature in which Ginger or Cubes have been written about in a pleasing, sentimental strain? Miss Balboa thinks that Shakespeare said something about Ginger being "hot in the mouth," but I am a little afraid of that word hot. How about These Cubes from the South Are Warm in the Mouth What I want you to do is tell me what the resources of literature are in the way of quotations about Ginger. Some of the boys are much taken by a suggestion that has come in from the Gray Matter Advertising Agency, who somehow got wind of our plans. Mr. Gray, the Psychology Director of Gray Matter Agency, wants us to mark the cubes with little spots of white sugar, so that they look like dice. Here s the joker: he wants us to pack them in little boxes in which half the cubes will be marked as five-spots and half as deuces, using the slogan, They Always Turn Up Seven. That seems to me a bit complicated, but I must admit that I m rather struck by the idea of advertis ing the Cubes as Digestive Dice. I m. having the idea of marking them with sugar spots looked into, to see what it will cost. I visualize a subway poster show ing the cubes tumbling out of a dice shaker, with the words Throw These for Good Health. Do you think that is too distinctly masculine an appeal? But think of getting this idea across to the lunching public, of always carrying a box of the Ginger Cubes in their vest pocket (we could have the box shaped like a Irttle dice-shaker, hey?), they can use them to throw for who is to pay the check, and then eat them. Can you put that thought in twelve words? What a pity that neither of us is married, and has no wife to fall back on for advice in this delicate matter. Miss Balboa, my new stenographer, thinks that women would not be attracted by this gambling note; she says that women are born Dutch-treaters, and do not fall for the idea of settling the lunch- check by mere chance. Please see what the hos pital nurses think about this. This man Gray, from the Gray Matter Agency, is a whirlwind. He has shot in some suggestive lay outs for car-cards that make my head spin. These are some of his inspirations Digestive Dice Mean Luck for the Liver TRY GINGER CUBES For a Chew in the Tubes Choose Ginger Cubes 10 And he has doped out a map showing the whole digestive apparatus laid out like a subway system, and the Ginger Cubes keep traffic moving. All this seems to me a bit too unconventional, although I confess I am amused by the originality. Tell me what your reaction is. I m sending you some of the Cubes to distribute among the nurses. Yours, NICHOLAS RIBSTONE, President The Ginger Cubes Corporation. N.R./D.B. III. [A letter from Miss Candida Cumnor, one of the nurses at the Hippocrates Hospital, to Mr. Nicholas Ribstone, pres ident of the Ginger Cubes Corporation.} Dear Mr. Ribstone: Poor Mr. Russell is still very weak, and has not been able to write to you himself. Dr. Nichevo says that he has never seen a more inter esting case of complete exhaustion of the salesman ship glands. He thinks that the patient must have been under a very severe strain for a long time pre ceding the breakdown. I gathered from what Mr. Russell said in his period of delirium that he had been trying to sell by mail order a complete set of Tolstoy s works, but by some mistake had bought the wrong mailing list from one of the houses that deal in such things. They gave him a list of mem bers of the Ku Klux Klan, and the returns on his effort were so disheartening that it broke him all up. He was very queer for a while. But one delusion helped a great deal. He had a fixed idea that the temperature chart at the end of his bed was a sales 11 graph, and the more peaks there were in it the better he was pleased, for he thought that at last the K. K. K. were beginning to fall for Tolstoy. At any rate, he is much better now, and asks me to write to you for him. I must say that I think you picked a fine Advertising Manager for your Ginger Cubes: I have never seen such an enthusiastic fel low. The specimen drawings for car cards that you sent him are pinned up on a screen beside the bed, and he hardly takes his eyes off them. He has had all the nurses in the ward munching the Ginger Cubes, or Digestive Dice as he likes to call them, and is asking me to make a note of their opinions. He says he plans an interesting lay-out under the caption COMMENTS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION ON THE GINGER CUBES. I must admit that I find the Cubes very tasty and refreshing. To show you that he is really picking up, I will tell you that this morning he asked me to send out to the nearest newsstand for a number of magazines and papers, which he has been looking through with close attention. He brightened up very much when he found a copy of a new magazine called "The In ternational Interpreter." He says for you to be sure to get hold of it, as it is edited by a very clever man called Frederick Dixon and contains a poem about Ginger. He asked me to copy down one stanza, as it might be useful for "copy" A merest little box of tin, But sharp of tongue are the spirits that wait, Bewrapped in their sugary garments within, Spirits of ginger, dryly sedate. 12 He says he thinks it is a good omen that in its very first issue this magazine should have a poem about Ginger. But I must not deceive you. In spite of his en thusiasm he is still very weak, and it will take a lot of building up before his merchandising centers are up to par. It would do no harm if you were to send him some stimulating books to read, such as Orison Swett Marden or Dr. Crane. By the way, Mr. Ribstone, some one in your office has made a mistake in addressing letters to this hos pital, the name of which is not Hypocrites but Hip pocrates; the spelling is nearly the same but the pro nunciation is different, after the name of a famous doctor of old times. Now I must draw to an end, for the patient needs attention; this is a long letter but he wanted you to know all about him. Yours sincerely, CANDIDA CUMNOR. IV. [A telegram from the National Drug Novelties Company to Nicholas Ribstone.] Chicago, April 11, 1922. Hear interesting rumor about new lozenge Ginger Cubes to be marketed by you would you consider entrance of outside capital in this venture or sell out right trade name formula and goodwill Believe you have a winner. EDWARD GARTENBAUM, President National Drug Novelties. 13 V. [A telegram from Nicholas Ribstone, president of the Gin ger Cubes Corporation, to Edward Gartenbaum of the Na tional Drug Novelties Company.] Decline discuss selling interest in Ginger Cubes distribution plans perfected watch our smoke. RIBSTONE. VI. [A memorandum sent to heads of departments of the Na tional Drug Novelties Company, Chicago.] OFFICE BULLETIN No. 38946 (Series B). Minutes of Conference Held in Directors Room, April 12. Mr. Gartenbaum reported that he had had a tele gram from Ribstone declining assistance in financing the Ginger Cubes. Mr. Gartenbaum thought the matter important enough to warrant calling the di rectors together. Was it possible that Ribstone had access to new sources of capital hitherto unemployed in the drug trade? This seemed unlikely in view of their own recent canvass . Mr. G. asked Mr. O Keefe, who had just come back from New York, whether he had been able to find out anything definite about the plans for Ginger Cubes Mr. O Keefe said that he had found the trade greatly interested in the rumors that had been cur rent. It was said everywhere that Ribstone had got hold of a formula that was a knockout, and that the Ginger Cubes had caused more talk in pharmacist and confectionery circles than anything since the Smith Brothers sold their razors. He had not been able to get any very definite dope about the distri bution plans, but it was common talk that Ribstone intended to spend half a million in the New York newspapers. He had heard that the Gray Matter 14 Advertising Agency wa$ to handle the account. Mr. O Keefe said that Mr. Gray was an old friend of his, but going to Gray s office to inquire he found the reception room so choked with solicitors from the newspapers that he did not wait. Mr. Oldham asked if this man Ribstone had had previous experience in the drug specialty line which would warrant their believing he could make a go of the so-called Ginger Cubes. Mr. Gartenbaum said that Ribstone had had no experience in that field, so far as he knew, but that he was a very clever merchandiser and had done big things with the Ribstone Memory Course several years ago. Professor Devonshire of the laboratory depart ment was called upon to ask if he had any idea what the formula of the Ginger Cubes might be, and whether it could be easily duplicated or improved. Professor Devonshire said that, speaking as a chem ist, ginger had many possibilities as a popular drug staple, that its principal constituents are starch, vol atile oil, and resin ; that it has carminative and purga tive values, especially for dyspepsia and flatulence, and is helpful for seasickness, headache, and tooth ache. He said that as soon as the Cubes themselves were on the market he could analyze them and sug gest a variation in the formula. Mr. O Keefe said that he had tried to get hold of some of the Cubes, but that they were being care fully kept under cover. He believed that Ribstone s plans were still in the air until his advertising man, Russell, was out of hospital. 15 Mr. Gartenbaum asked if Mr. Russell was in hos pital because he had been trying some of the Gin ger Cubes. Mr. Oldham said that he had been greatly im pressed by the amount of gossip in the trade about the Ginger Cubes, but he believed the value of the thing lay not in any unique formula but in the clever ness of the name Ginger Cubes, and particularly the additional name Digestive Dice. Mr. Gartenbaum agreed and submitted it to the meeting that it would be well worth while to ride on Ribstone s effort by putting out a similar product with an equally catchy name. He instanced the way Eskimo Pie was followed immediately by a dozen imitations, all very nearly as successful. Mr. Sombre of the Promotion Department asked if Mr. Gartenbaum had thought of any name as appealing as Ginger Cubes. Mr. Gartenbaum admitted he hadn t, but said that his mind was working on this matter and the only thing he had thought of so far was Ginger Blocks. Mr. Sombre said he thought that was too similar to Ginger Cubes and might mean legal proceedings. Mr. O Keefe suggested Tingling Squares. After a good deal of discussion, Mr. Gartenbaum adjourned the meeting, ordering these minutes to be sent confidentially to heads of departments. An other conference to be held to-morrow at which sug gestions for a rival name \* ould be brought in. By E. K. R., Stenographer. 16 VII. [A letter from Allan Russell, Advertising Manager of the Ginger Cubes Corporation, to Nicholas Ribstone.] Hippocrates Hospital, April 1 4. Dear Boss, I m still a bit seedy but am getting bet ter every minute thanks to the care these "good peo ple" have taken of me. This is my first letter and it will have to be short. Just wanted to say that if you still need an assistant in the office I d like to recom mend Miss Cumnor, one of the nurses here, who has been taking care of me. She is tired of the nursing job and wants to get into a "business position." Cer tainly she s a mighty capable girl and her medical knowledge would be of great value to us in market ing the Cubes. She is 2 3 years old and ambitious. I ll be out of here pretty soon now, I hope, and am keen to get into the thick of the fight for the good old Cubes. Yours always RUSSELL 17 VIII. ; [A letter from Nicholas Ribstone to Allan Russell.] GINGER CUBES CORPORATION Nicholas Ribstone, Executive Offices ~ AJ , President. Cable Address: Theodore Carbo, 2216 Duane Street n . , Vice-President. KT w Y I- Umcubes Arthur MacCready, New York Treasurer. Simon Haggard, Secretary. Allan Russell, Advertising Mgr. April 14, 1922. Dear Russell: Here are our letterheads. How do you like them? I am sending some to the hospital so you can use them for any letters you may need to write. Show them to the nurses and get their reac tion. The mare they circulate, the better. This is just to tell you that I am going out of town for a little rest over the week-end We have got things pretty well lined up so far. I shall be glad when you get back so we can visit together for I want your advice. You understarid advertising men better than I do, I guess. To me, a great deal of their jargon is a mystery. What, for instance, do you think of the enclosed one that has just come to me from the Gray Matter Agency? Does it mean anything? Miss Balboa, by the way, is somewhat upset by a remark made by your Miss Cumnor, about our error in spelling the name of the Hospital. I m afraid the mistake was due to my wrong pronunciation, which she misunderstood. As ever, NICHOLAS RIBSTONE. N.R./D.B. (End.) 18 IX. [Enclosure, sent by Mr. Ribstone to Mr. Russell, being a letter from the Gray Matter Advertising Agency.] My Dear Mr. Ribstone: Obviously you intend, ultimately at any rate, to have a nation-wide, or even world-wide, distribution for the Ginger Cubes. You are going to need a large merchandising staff. I wish to enlist your interest in our newly created Department of Salesmanizing. Let us train your representatives before they go on the road, and instil into the personnel just those qualities of enthusiasm and confidence that go to make not mere salesmen, but Ambassadors of Commerce. I solicit the pleasure of convincing you on this topic; in the meantime let me briefly state the nut shell of our theory. In our Salesmanizing School, which is really a kind of Graduate College of the Selling Arts, we seek to drive out from the student all negative and minus thoughts, ideas of possible failure, business depres sion, etc., and to substitute robust energizing con cepts, positive and plus in their nature. Many a man has come to us doubtful about his own selling abili ties, doubtful about the general condition of trade, doubtful about economics and literature and even theology. When they leave us, after a three weeks course under Mr. Harvey K. Tidaholm, they have pronounced convictions. You wish to have your product the Ginger Cubes ma rketed swiftly, cleanly, universally. There 19 I will confer with you as soon as I am reurbanized. are four steps in this process. The commodity must be ( 1 ) Institutionalized (2) Publicized (3) Distributionized (4) Internationalized To bring this about, your representative personnel must be (a) Humanized 1 (b) Stabilized l^SALESMANIZED (c) Energized J It is on such matters as these that Consumer Pref erence and Dealer Convictionability are based. I should like very much to have our Mr. Harvey K. Tidaholm discuss this matter with you. I know that your reaction will be enthusiastic. Yours faithfully, GEO. W. GRAY, Technical Director, Gray Matter Advertising Service. X. [A letter from Nicholas Ribstone to George W. Gray.] Dear Mr. Gray: I am just leaving town for a few days rest. All decisions have been postponized until my advertising manager returns. He is now hos pitalized. I will confer with you as soon as I am reurbanized. Yours truly, (Signed, in absence, with rubber stamp.) NICHOLAS RIBSTONE. N.R./D.B. 21 XL [An article in LOZENGE AND PASTILLE, the tveekly trade journal of the throat tablet trade.] THE VALUE OF THE CUBICAL FORM FOR MEDICATED CANDIES By Ben F. Menthol, Secretary of National Lozenge Men s Chamber of Commerce. A great deal of talk has been roused in lozenge circles by the formation of the Ginger Cubes Corpo ration, to manufacture and distribute a new product called the Ginger Cubes. Mr. Nicholas Ribstone, the head of the enterprise, while reticent as to details, admits that he hopes to spring a surprise on the world of bronchial tablets and breath-perfumers. We understand that the Ginger Cubes, while more in the general nature of a confection than a medical preparation, are based on a careful pharmacal for mula, and will go before the public on an appeal at least partly therapeutic. But what interests us is, that Mr. Ribstone s ven ture again brings up the necessity of standardizing the shape of the medicated sweet, if lozenge men are ever to get back to genuine prosperity. At present the lozenge and jujube world is in a state of wild disorder and lack of intelligent co-operation. Post war deflation has not been followed by anything con structive. Lozenge men are cutting one another s throats instead of healing the public s. Mr. Rib- stone, unconsciously, has put his finger on a vital spot in the lozenge industry. 22 Hitherto the trade has manufactured its products mainly in four shapes: ( 1 ) Square tablet (2) Round tablet (3) Spherical (4) Oval It will be evident, however, that for close packing and neat appearance, the cube is undoubtedly an attractive shape. It is well worth consideration on the part of the trade whether a general adoption of the cube would not be advantageous. More over, a great economy could be effected by standard izing cartons and containers. How can the present debilitating fluctuations be ironed out while the whole industry is proceeding on a basis of mere individualism? We do not wish to disparage com petition, which is the life of trade, but to advocate a higher form of co-operating competition. The lozenge trade owes it as a duty to humanity to take its part in the general stabilizing and soothing move ment. The inflamed throat of Commerce can never be healed until lozenge men get together. There is no reason why the breath-sweetener clique should be so jealous of the digestive wing, both suspicious of larynx and bronchial men. We hope that at the convention in June these matters can be taken up and constructively dealt with. 23 XII. [A letter front Mr. Gray of the Gray Matter Advertising Agency to Nicholas Ribstone, proprietor of the Ginger Cubes.} My Dear Mr. Ribstone: I do not wish to seem too insistent, but I am so interested in the success of the Ginger Cubes that I feel it is my duty to inform you of the tested methods in which prosperity has been attained by other manufacturers. I am so confident of your eventually deciding to place your advertising account in our hands that I went ahead last week and had our Laboratory of Merchandising Survey conduct a preliminary clinic in the local field. Of course, you understand that you are not obligated in any way; but I felt that this was the most useful mode of helping you to envisage your problem. Just a word about our Merchandising Survey work, which is headed by Mr. Henry W. Geniall. Mr. Geniall is a man who knows how to talk to dealers in their own language; he is a born sales engineer. He began selling in 1 892 and has never stopped ; though now he sells service instead of com modities. He is the author of a book which has run through fifteen editions, including the Scandinavian, entitled "How to Meet and Dominate Your Fellow Men/ an autographed copy of which I am having forwarded to you. The principle of our Merchandising Survey is to conduct a preliminary investigation of markets, in a representative field and on the highest plane of de tached observation. Our Merchandising Surveyors are not to be confused with the street men employed 24 by the less professional agencies. Most of them are college graduates; they are so tactful and genteel that they are welcomed by the dealers as valuable counsellors and co-operators; very often they are asked to stay to supper. The survey we conducted shows conclusively that there is going to be a big market for Ginger Cubes if they are well publicized. We drew up the inclosed printed blank and questionnaired 1 00 druggists in the uptown section, just as a preliminary test. I have selected the inclosed at random from the re turns, to show you the kind of thing. The others are being bound in a folder, which I will have much pleasure to lay before you on your return to the office, together with a tabulated analysis. It is a pleasure to be able to put at your disposal all the resources of Gray Matter Service. Faithfully yours, GEO. W. GRAY, Technical Director, Gray Matter Advertising Service. XIII. [Confidential Report of an interview with a druggist by a MercJiandising Surveyor from the Gray Matter Advertising Agency. ] INTERVIEW Name Higgly-Piggly Drug Store. Address 673 Sunnyside Ave. Type of Store Chain. Party Interviewed J. K. Liquorice, Mgr. Subject of Interview Ginger Cubes Canvass. Approachtalk Used General Co-operation No. 3, as per Mr. Geniall s suggestion. 25 What Brands of the following Does Dealer Sell (List in order of popularity) : Throat Tablets Roko, Southern Soothers, Tua- sicules. Cough Drops Lady Larynx, Lotos Cones. Confectionery Laxatives Sugar Chew, Casca- rilla. Appetizer Lozenges Paprika Pastilles, Curli cues. Digestive Tablets Stowaways, Cul de Sacs. Medicated Candies Sweeto, Spicy Chiplets, Candoids. Breath Purifiers Balmozone, Pineapple Hints, Clover Slices. To What Does Dealer Attribute Success of These Best Sellers? Newspaper Advertising. Does He Push Any Particular Brands? If So, Which? No Answer. What Methods of Manufacturers Promotion Pro duces Best Result for the Dealer? Newspaper Ad vertising. What per cent of his customers suffer from Sore Thoat? Ten per cent, in winter. What per cent from bad digestion? No answer. What per cent from cacopneumonia (bad breath) ? No answer. What per cent prefer a doctor s prescription to a patent medicine? Fifty per cent. What does Dealer think of prospects of Ginger Cubes? Excellent; thinks name very "catchy." 26 Does Dealer approve the subtitle "Digestive Dice? " Yes. Will He Use Window Display Material? Sure. General Remarks Dealer suggests we investigate what effect the Ginger Cubes will have on smokers tongue; says ginger bites the tongue after smoking, would not have percentage of ginger too powerful. Name of Surveyor Richmond Brown* Analyzed by Henry W. Geniall. XIV. [A letter from Allan Russell, Advertising Manager of the Ginger Cubes Corporation, to his employer, Mr. Nicholas Rib- stoned] Hippocrates Hospital, April 18. Dear Boss: This is just to say that I am so much better I expect to get out of here in a few days, and hope to be back "on the job" next week. Dr. Nichevo says that I have made surprising progress and thinks it is due to Miss Cumnor s fine care. She Is certainly some nurse. She and I have gone over those papers you sent me, from the Gray Matter people, very carefully. Miss Cumnor s reaction is that we ought to go slow about signing up with them. She thinks, and 1 am inclined to agree with her, that they talk tripe. By the way, you didn t reply to my suggestion about our giving her a job in the office. She is certainly a remarkable woman. Yours always, RUSSELL. 27 XV. [A letter from Mr. Nicholas Ribstone to his secretary, Miss Daisy Balboa.} Kill Kare Kountry Klub, Wayanda, Conn., April 1 8. Dear Miss Balboa: I have decided to stay here a few days longer for the fishing. Nothing much can be done in the office until Mr. Russell returns, and it just happens that one of the big drug jobbers is staying at this place and it will do no harm for me to get to know him in a social way. Thanks for telling me about the Gray Matter portfolio. I am interested to know that you are impressed by their enthusiasm. But every one is enthusiastic when they go out fishing for a big one. Look here, instead of mailing the Gray Matter stuff, why not run up here with it yourself? I will get you a reservation at the Bonhomie Inn, which is near this club, and then we can go over the papers together. There s a train that leaves Grand Central at 4:20. The little change would do you good, and there are several matters on which I wish to get your reaction. Sincerely yours, NICHOLAS RIBSTONE. XVI. [A letter from Miss Balboa to Mr. Russell.} Dear Mr. Russell : Mr. Ribstone is still away, but I am going up to the country this afternoon to take him some papers, including your letter of yesterday. We ll all be mighty glad to see you when you get back. Faithfully yours, DAISY BALBOA. 28 XVII. [A letter from Mr. Gray, of Gray Matter Service, to Mr. Ribstone, proprietor of the Ginger Cubes.] My Dear Mr. Ribstone: I was glad to get your note from Kill Kare Kountry Klub, and to hear that you have been taking a few "days recreation. You will return, I am confident, much refreshed and eager to take up the problems that confront us. I have been a little disappointed at not getting a definite authorization from you to go ahead with our plans. We have had tentative advances from other possible clients in this same general field, but I have put them off, desiring not to take on any accounts that might possibly conflict with the Ginger Cubes. To be perfectly frank, the thing that has appealed to me about Ginger Cubes is the bully opportunity for public service in a big way, and the chance to institutionalize a product whose possibilities have filled the members of our organization with unusual enthusiasm. Ever since we first began talking institutional ad vertising for Ginger Cubes, a real thought impres sion has been epitomizing itself in my mind, and our Department of Cumulative Service has been giving the matter special study and analytical constructive investigation. We have been going right back to fundamentals on this proposition, studying the dif ferent sides of the problem along all its different angles. It will indeed be a source of satisfaction if we are accorded the opportunity to work with you. Our Mr. Geniall was saying in conference yesterday "I am convinced I would rather be associated with the Ginger Cubes Corporation than any other com pany I know of, because what I have heard of the 29 quality of men that make up that organization and the quality of service they would expect convinces me it would be an educative experience to co-oper ate with that firm. The product-attributes of their Ginger Cubes fill me with enthusiasm, and I feel that if they were our clients we could work for them as personal friends, and not in any cold-blooded businesslike fashion." That is the way we want you, Mr. Ribstone, to> feel towards our organization. It is not our desire to merely build a number of advertisements which may be combined together in a more or less connected series by some such device as art treatment. Art is all very well as a hand maiden of advertising, but for a monumental cam paign you need the inspiration of a Big Idea, a gen uinely dominating thought that will clarionize every piece of copy and tie the whole together in a culmi nating increment of public consciousness. Advertising is either Product-Advertising or Insti tutional-Advertising. The functions of the first are obvious A. Function is to sell product B. Means of accomplishment are 1 I ) Directly presenting the product to the market (2) Urging the market to accept the product But Institutional-Advertising is far more psycho logical. Here enters the supreme function of the merchandising arts, to create consumer "good-will." This may be defined as encouraging consumer-be nevolence, that is, educating the public to a sense of subjective interest in the entire business, and a con scious awareness of benefit therefrom. A feeling 30 of friendly satisfaction engendered by Knowledge, Understanding and Appreciation is the inception of this consumer-benevolence. The various factors that jointly and severally enter into these great merchandising truths I will not insist upon. But it would give me great satisfaction if you and Mr. Russell would meet the members of our or ganization and talk the whole matter over frankly and fully. Mr. Russell and your good self and the writer ought to get together in the near future for a long, serious talk on the whole proposition. We could not do nearly so well for you if our headquarters were not in New York, where we can have daily inti mate conference with your organization headquar ters. Our psychological director for the Chicago Territory, Mr. Alfred Ampere, has been so stimu lated by what he has heard of your plans, that he wires me asking to be transferred to New York if our proposition goes through. I am inclined to favor appointing him as chief contact man, so that he could be summoned at any time within twenty minutes if a conference were called. The objectives are all clearly defined, and we are ready to go to work. This is simply to assure you of my own personal appreciation of the splendid energy and fighting spirit your organization exhibits, and to hope that from the very inception of the Ginger Cubes we may be accorded an opportunity to coop erate in the public educationalization which is the real satisfaction of the advertising profession. Cordially yours, GEO. W. GRAY, Technical Director, Gray Matter Advertising Agency. 31 XVIII. [Story in the New York Lews, April 23, written by the star humorous reporter.} CUPID COMES TO DOCTORS AID Hospital Romance Culminates In Patient Wedding Pretty Nurse Allan Russell, advertising man, left Hippocrates Hospital yesterday afternoon, completely cured of a stubborn case of nervous debility that at first puzzled the doctors. With him, in a taxicab, was Miss Can dida Cumnor, one of the nurses, still in her uniform. They went to the Little Church Around the Corner and were married. After the ceremony Mrs. Russell took her husband s temperature with a clinical ther mometer. It was Centigrade A, or whatever the normal reading is. She did not test his pulse, which was probably excusably fluttered. Even a hardened reporter, who horned in on this story by accident, was stirred by the sight of the bride in her crisp white linen. She has golden-bronzy hair and indigo eyes, or they looked that way in the twilight of the church. But what s the use? She is now Mrs. Russell. During Mr. Russell s illness Miss Candida had charge of the case. She sympathized with his busi ness problems Dr. Nichevo, the Hippocrates expert on nervous mechanics, said that he had been run down by too constant intercourse with advertising agencies. She took his temperature soothingly with that cold little glass tube. But what she took away 32 with one hand she gave back with the other. When her pa lrn floated like a water-lily across his com merce-heated brow his mind grew calm, but his heart was caloric. As he became stronger she as sisted him with advertising layouts, which were spread on the bed, and they pored over them to gether. Why is it, we wonder, that reporters never have time to be taken ill? Mr. Russell is Advertising Manager of the Ginger Cubes Corporation. He and his wife expect to spend their honeymoon hunting an apartment. "Cupid is the best doctor," said Mr. Russell as they left the church. "I intend to keep the thermom- 33 XIX. [A letter from Nicholas Ribstone, proprietor of the Ginger Cubes, to Allan Russell.] Bonhomie Inn, April 23. Dear Russell: Forgive my delay in writing, but I have exciting news for you. Miss Balboa and I have decided to get married. You know that I have al ways felt we labored under a handicap in not being able to get disinterested feminine reaction on the Cubes. Miss Balboa s excellent sense will be a great help. I dare say you will be surprised I am, my self. I had thought I was too old to become a Bene dictine, but Miss Balboa has quite carried me off my feet. I must not be sentimental, however. We are going to be married here, to-morrow, very quietly. I should have written to you before about Miss Cumnor. I thought rather well of your suggestion, but Miss Balboa has convinced me that it is better not to add to our staff just now, at any rate until we get things going. I m sending this to the office, as I guess you have left the hospital by now. Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Ribstone will be back in a few days. Yours always, NICHOLAS RIBSTONE. 34 XX. [Another letter from Mr. Ribstone.] Bonhomie Inn, April 24. Dear Russell: Just got your wire. Congratula tions! It reaches me on the brink of the altar my self. My Lord, man, you should have tipped me off beforehand. It wasn t necessary for both of us to get married in order to get wifely reactions on the Cubes. If I had known sooner but anyhow, it s all arranged now. Miss Balboa has just about convinced me that we will do well to accept Gray Matter s proposition. I wish I could consult you about this. Perhaps you had better get in touch with Gray and have the papers ready for signing when I get to the office. We can exchange wedding presents later on. At the moment I m too flustered to know just what hap pens next. Yours, from the jumping-off place, NICHOLAS RIBSTONE. 35 XXI. [A letter from Allan Russell to an old friend, known to us only as Bob.] Dear Bob: There s the devil to pay in this office. I ve just heard that old Ribstone has married Miss Balboa, his stenographer, in order to get her un biassed reactions on business. Now I know very well that Candida and Mrs. Balboa-Ribstone will never get on together. The Balboa person, for instance, has argued old Rib into believing that the Gray Matter stuff is real. Candida doesn t fall for it, says it s the bunk. I won t go on as Ad. Mgr. if Ribstone accepts the Gray Matter contract. I just want to ask you if there s anything in your office that I could take a hand in. You know my experi ence and qualifications. Let me have a line. Yrs in haste, A. R. 36 XXII. [An editorial in LOZENGE AND PASTILLE.\ We hear that Nicholas Ribstone, of the Ginger Cubes Corporation, has sold out his entire interest in the much-touted Cubes to the National Drug Nov elties Company. This comes as quite a surprise to the trade, as no specialty in recent years had aroused so much advance interest as the Ginger Cubes. The figure paid by National Drug Novelties for the form ula, stock in hand, and jobbing contracts already ar ranged, is said to be half a million dollars. We await with interest to hear just how Gartenbaum and his associates will develop this property. In the mean time the affair suggests some meditations on the de sirability of guarding the medicated confectionery industry against the machinations of mere adven turers and speculators. (Walk, Not Run, to Nearest Exit) 37 THIS -BOOK IS DUE ON THE LAST DATE STAMPED BELOW AN INITIAL FINE OF 25 CENTS WILL BE ASSESSED FOR FAILURE TO RETURN THIS BOOK ON THE DATE DUE. THE PENALTY WILL INCREASE TO SO CENTS ON THE FOURTH DAY AND TO $I.OO ON THE SEVENTH DAY OVERDUE. :FP 29 1 OCT 16 AUb 1 % 1H70 1 nuu JL J \JfJ jLlftl/ * ._, wuv 1 8 1984 RECEIVED BY NOV i b iBd A CIRrillATiON DEBT ft J : f ^ 1 - 1QQA I PbO TOLC* JUN 2198fl LD 21-100w-7, 39(402s) cubes J*fL29__l<(4: IOCT i6 961 H864 M170674 THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY GENERAL LIBRARY - U.C. BERKELEY 600083^^0