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 16311
 
 AN ARDENT 
 AMERICAN
 
 AN ARDENT 
 AMERICAN 
 
 BY 
 
 MRS. RUSSELL CODMAN 
 
 FRONTISPIECE BY 
 JAMES MONTGOMERY FLAGG 
 
 NEW YORK 
 
 THE CENTURY CO. 
 
 1911
 
 Copyright, 1911, by 
 THE CENTURY Co 
 
 Published May,
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 PART I. 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 i Introduction 3 
 
 ii June 23rd .... West Point .... 9 
 
 in July ist ... 14 
 
 iv July 4th " " .... 20 
 
 v July 5th " ... 30 
 
 vi July 8th " " .... 37 
 
 vn July Qth Newport 53 
 
 viii July 9th, continued . ... .61 
 
 ix July i6th .... 71 
 
 x July 23rd .... 77 
 
 xi July 28th .... Bar Harbor .... 91 
 
 xii August ist .... .... loo 
 
 xin August 2nd ... . . .115 
 
 xiv August 5th . . . . The Settlement . . .123 
 
 xv August 6th . ..." ... 136 
 
 xvi August 7th .... Lenox 151 
 
 xvn August gth . . " 166 
 
 xvni August loth . . . Stockbridge .... 173 
 v 
 
 2134726
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 xix August nth ... West Point .... 189 
 
 xx August isth ..." .... 205 
 
 xxi August igth ... " " .... 215 
 
 xxn August 23rd . . . On The Steamer . . 223 
 
 PART II. 
 
 xxni September 26th . . Wildesheim Schloss . 231 
 
 xxrv September 3oth . . . 240 
 
 xxv October ist . . . . . 247 
 
 xxvi October 2nd . . . Hanover Station . . 263 
 
 xxvii October 3rd ... On Board the Amerika 271 
 
 xxvni October 5th ..." 284 
 
 xxix October 8th ..." 295 
 
 xxx October loth ..." 303 
 
 xxxi October nth . . . Rilldale ..... 313 
 
 xxxn October nth, continued 331 
 
 xxxin October I2th ... 343 
 
 xxxiv October isth . . . New York . . . .351 
 
 xxxv October i8th ... " " .... 364 
 
 xxxvi October 2Oth ... " " .... 370 
 
 xxxvii November 2Oth . " " .... 374 
 
 xxxviii November 25th . " " .... 378 
 
 xxxix December I4th, isth, 
 
 i6th " " .... 381 
 
 XL December 22nd . . " " .... 398 
 
 XLI December 3ist . . . Rilldale 409
 
 INTRODUCTION
 
 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I HAVE decided to write my Memoirs 'for I think 
 the next two months will be a very interesting 
 period of my life. As the Comte de Segur says, 
 " In writing one's Memoirs one must be an actor, 
 not an author " ; so without reserve I shall take the 
 first role. 
 
 In case these pages are read by strangers, I shall 
 firstly explain who I am. My name is Yvonne 
 Carrington. I am eighteen. I have a little more 
 than five feet and a half of height, thus I am tall. 
 I am blond with eyes gray-blue, and a waist rather 
 fine. I am a half orphan as my beloved father died 
 when I was childish. Alas ! I was born and ele- 
 vated in Europe which makes that I speak my 
 maternal tongue imperfectly, but I shall quickly 
 learn, and I am writing my Memoirs in English 
 with the help of a dictionary, not only as a lesson 
 but also for my pleasure. 
 
 I have always adored America, and all that was 
 American, although I have never been there; my 
 
 3
 
 4 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 greatest treasure after my father's miniature, are 
 some American leaves of autumn, which were sent 
 to me ; I have kissed them so often they have 
 crumbled, and if I had dared, I would have written 
 and begged for a little American earth; the monks 
 of Pisa did bring soil from the Holy Land to sanc- 
 tify the Campo Santo, so would I cherish earth 
 from my own country, but I feared to be thought 
 foolish. 
 
 My mother is all the contrary from me, she likes 
 Europe and has remarried herself to a German 
 diplomat, which makes that I have a little German 
 brother and sister. We have dwelt in Rome and 
 Paris, Vienna and Madrid, and every summer we 
 pass a few months in my step-father's castle near 
 Hanover; but although so carefully reared as a 
 European young girl my heart has never ceased to 
 be American. 
 
 At last, my grandmother Carrington has insisted 
 that she must see me, for I am the only child of her 
 only son, and much against her own desire mamma 
 did let me go for two months. 
 
 I am making the crossing with my maid Angel- 
 ique who is very ill and cross, and I am under the 
 guard of the French Ambassadress to Washington 
 who is the friend of my parents. I observe every- 
 thing on the boat, and I have the occasion to be 
 often alone, which I have never been allowed before, 
 and which I enjoy so much. I walk up and down
 
 INTRODUCTION 5 
 
 * 
 the deck and breathe with full lungs the air of 
 
 liberty, for we are approaching the shores of my 
 dear land. 
 
 I think there must be an American language after 
 all, for I have made the acquaintance on the ship 
 of a young girl, called Lily Stuart, of Philadelphia, 
 and I really can not understand but half of what 
 she says. She has told me I was a peach and a 
 daisy, which are fruits and flowers in English, but 
 I think she wanted to indicate complimentary re- 
 marks in American. She spoke of making a date 
 with me, but I did see none. I try to look as if 
 I comprehended, and I inscribe all to learn as 
 promptly as possible, and I hope to loose my terri- 
 ble foreign accent, which she calls peachy. She 
 has invited me to stay with her at Bar Harbor, where 
 she said, I would have a corking time and we should 
 go on regular sprees. I wonder what she did 
 mean ! In the dictionary I find " spree " means 
 to say a noisy frolic and drinking bout, and per- 
 haps she said uncorking time, which signifies open- 
 ing bottles of champagne or other beverages. 
 
 I want to be gay, but I do not want to be fast! 
 But she has not the air fast ; the Ambassadress 
 has said she was a sweet girl, but she talks to young 
 men as if she was a married woman. I know that 
 is the American mode which I must also learn. She 
 has presented to me a young man called Bobby. 
 I did not hear his surname; he is very jolly and
 
 6 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 agreeable; we conversed a half an hour all alone, 
 and we discovered we both do love horses and 
 dogs ; he says I must be sure and come to Bar Har- 
 bor. Lily Stuart has told me that at home she goes 
 to drive and walk and sail alone with young men. 
 It will appear very strange to me, but I think I shall 
 like it well.
 
 WEST POINT
 
 II 
 
 JUNE 23rd. As my following experiences are 
 more actions than thoughts, and therefore 
 nothing private, I will employ my Memoirs as the 
 rough copy of my letter to my mother, which will 
 spare me the annoyance of writing three times 
 the same thing. I must only remark to myself, 
 what my mother would understand never, that 
 at the first sight of the land of America, my eyes 
 filled themselves with tears, and that Christopher 
 Columbus did not feel himself happier than I. 
 
 LETTER. 
 
 " Dearest Mamma, 
 
 " My voyage has been an enchantment ! Angel- 
 ique was ill all the way over and never left her 
 cabin. The Ambassadress was also tolerably in- 
 disposed, but she sent her maid every morning to 
 take of my news and she sometimes did appear for 
 dinner in the evening. Angelique wanted me to 
 take my repasts in the cabin, but I would not; it 
 would have given me nauseous sensations, so I 
 sat between the Ambassador and the Captain, who, 
 all two were very kind to me. 
 
 9
 
 io AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " I am trying to learn English rapidly, for al- 
 though I have always spoken it with you, dear 
 Mamma, I know it not well. I was a great deal 
 with a nice American young girl whom the Ambas- 
 sadress allowed me to know, and I am studying 
 her expressions and also the lives of our American 
 authors. I did not ask permission before reading 
 the book, as I was sure the subject was correct. 
 I think our literary men, although perhaps not so 
 famous as the French, are better peres de famille. 
 
 " I cannot describe to you the joy of my heart, as 
 I first stepped onto American ground, although it 
 was only a wooden pier, and I liked to hear all those 
 dear American voices shouting around me. There 
 is no trace of the European servitude of centuries 
 in the noble independence of manners of the Custom 
 House officers ; I suppose they are, like me, descend- 
 ants of the liberators of our country. 
 
 " A gentleman encountered me on the dock with 
 a letter from my grandmother presenting him to 
 me as my cousin Henry Short. I was disappointed 
 not to find him the type of the Gibson Album young 
 American, with a straight nose and a firm chin; his 
 nose is broad and he has no chin at all; but his 
 manners are friendly. I think everybody is friendly 
 here, even the driver of cabs. I heard my cousin 
 tell the inspector, who was visiting my boxes, that 
 I was a foreigner, which naturally rendered me very 
 indignant, and I said, trying to speak a little through
 
 WEST POINT ii 
 
 my nose, ' I am a citizen of America returning to 
 my own land.' Cousin Henry had the air annoyed 
 and I discovered to call myself American made them 
 disbelieve all I said about my frocks, and the in- 
 spector took ten times more longer, which was rather 
 cruel; so when they began with Angelique's box I 
 assured them she was French completely, so they 
 treated her quite quickly. Unhappily we had missed 
 the best train for West Point. 
 
 " The pavements of the City of New York are a 
 little surprising, they upset Angelique very much ; 
 she was sick to her heart five times on the way to the 
 station, and she said she had her stomach on the re- 
 verse. Cousin Henry was very discreet and looked 
 out of the other window each time ; so as the two 
 windows were blocked, I saw not much of the 
 beauties of the town. The trains are very demo- 
 cratic, as is suitable in a free country, and they al- 
 lowed us to get on as it started; there are no com- 
 partments, we all sat close together, on a bench for 
 two; Angelique next to a very fat man, and I near 
 a little old woman, who talked to me and called 
 me ' my dear ' and offered me sweets. Cousin 
 Henry had to stand nearly the whole length of the 
 path. But oh ! the river, the Hudson, is so beauti- 
 ful, I was in ecstasy; it is so much more marvelous 
 than the Rhine with its ugly vineyards, and it is 
 more broad and of an aspect so noble. 
 
 " We arrived at last ; there were two or three car-
 
 12 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 riages waiting at the station with such thin wheels. 
 An old coachman touched his hat to us, and he was 
 driving two ravishing horses. He was not seated 
 on a box like a victoria, but the two seats were the 
 same ; it is more American not to make distinctions. 
 Cousin Henry helped me in and was going to put 
 Angelique next the nice old coachman, but she re- 
 fused; she said, ' Je ne me mettrais jamais sur le 
 siege.' I was so provoked by her monkeynishes that 
 I jumped up next the old coachman, so she and 
 Cousin Henry sat behind. 
 
 " It was very comic in arriving at the house. The 
 butler who stood at the door, helped Angelique out 
 of the carriage and said, ' This way, Miss, Mrs. 
 Carrington is waiting for you in the parlor,' but I 
 jumped below and ran in ahead, and in the sitting- 
 room sat my dear grandmother. I bent down to 
 kiss her hand, as I do to you, dear Mamma, but she 
 would not let me, and said, ' Kiss me, my child.' 
 She was very emotioned; she was thinking of my 
 poor beloved papa. But oh ! she is so imposing and 
 beautiful; her hair is soft and white; she wears a 
 cap of lace, and always a black silk gown; her eyes 
 are blue and her skin is pink with tiny little wrinkles, 
 and her hands are nearly as pretty as yours, dear 
 Mamma, and she wears rings that are wonders. 
 
 " My first day in America would have been per- 
 fect except for the lamentations of Angelique. She 
 complains of her stomach, of her head, that she has
 
 WEST POINT 13 
 
 no appetite, that there is no soup or wine for the 
 repast of the evening, that no one speaks French, 
 that there is only one manservant, that it is alto- 
 gether a country of savages. I nearly slapped her 
 face I was so impatient, and I sent her to bed. And 
 there, I must go myself as it is very late. Please 
 give my affectionate greetings to Papa, tender kisses 
 to Hugo and Wilhelmine, a polite message but not 
 affectionate to Fraiilein, and I kiss your hand, dear- 
 est Mamma, many times. 
 
 " Your very loving 
 
 " YVONNE."
 
 Ill 
 
 JULY i. I have been in America all one week, 
 and I have never been so happy in my life. I 
 feel as if the sad years of my youth fulness were 
 rolling away like clouds over my head ; even Angel- 
 ique, the only black spot in my present destiny,, 
 by her lamentations so continual, makes me compare 
 more vivaciously the joys of the present with the 
 oppressions of the past. 
 
 I was like a bird in her cage with prison doors 
 opened only to play tricks. We dwelt in Paris last 
 winter and there I studied without remission; I fol- 
 lowed History and Literature courses ; I had lessons 
 of singing, piano, elocution, German, Italian, danc- 
 ing and deportment; two detestable hours a week 
 sewing with Fraulein; also one hour's cooking, as 
 my mother said I might marry myself to a German 
 and these domestic things would be required ; thus I 
 have been prepared to espouse men of every 
 nationality. My one joy was high school riding les- 
 sons, and I jump so well my step- father has promised 
 to let me go to the imperial hunt next autumn. He 
 has always good intentions, but his manners are cold 
 and severe. 
 
 14
 
 WEST POINT 15 
 
 I was presented this spring at the German Court ; 
 my mother being the wife of a nobleman and an 
 Ambassadress, I was admitted with the privileges 
 of the aristocracy, but I assured everyone I was 
 an American, therefore " biirgcrlich," although the 
 German servants call me Comtesse Yvonne like my 
 little sister Wilhelmine. Since our glorious Marine 
 was victorious over Spain, and since royal princes 
 go to America to amuse themselves, our country 
 has gained much prestige in European eyes. Those 
 who questioned me about America when they heard 
 me sing her praise, were surprised when I avowed 
 I had never been there. This was a bitter sorrow 
 which rendered me all mortified, but now I shall be 
 able to tell from my own experience how perfect 
 she is. 
 
 I am content to verify that I speak English already 
 more runningly; never do I let escape a foreign 
 word and my little dictionary is always near me. 
 
 My grandmother fills me with love and admira- 
 tion ; she never tells me I am too young or too old 
 to do things I want; when she calls me her little 
 girl, my heart melts of tenderness, for no one has 
 treated me in a manner so sweet before. My 
 mother I did see but rarely, and she likes not 
 caresses. When Hugo and Wilhemine were babies 
 I did embrace them all I wanted, but no one did 
 embrace me in my turn, and so my heart instead 
 of blossoming has remained a little closed bud. But
 
 16 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 my soul did find expansion in my love of God. I 
 often lay awake at night and imagined angels near 
 me. I have spent a whole hour on my knees, on the 
 cold bricks of the Chapel in our Castle, till I fell 
 in a sort of a trance with sensations soft and angel- 
 ical, but notwithstanding these aspirations towards 
 Heaven, I am naturally very bad ; to better under- 
 stand my nature I will divide my faults and qualities. 
 
 FAULTS. 
 
 No. i. Selfish. 
 
 No. 2. Impolite towards people I hate, like Fraii- 
 lein. 
 
 No. 3. Impatient with people like Angelique. 
 
 No. 4. Obstinate. 
 
 No. 5. Vain. 
 
 No. 6. Unconscientious. 
 
 No. 7. Careless. 
 
 No. 8. Forgetful. 
 
 No. 9. Impetuous. 
 
 No. 10. Adoring pleasure. 
 
 No. ii. Mundane. 
 
 No. 12. Desirous to seduce persons by hypocritical 
 charms. 
 
 No. 13. Passionate; I mean when I love people I 
 want to press them in my arms ; when 
 I am happy I want to sing, and jump 
 over chairs ; when I am angry I want 
 to cry and tear things to pieces, so
 
 WEST POINT 17 
 
 I suppose I have a nature very vio- 
 lent, although I can be so gentle, too. 
 
 QUALITIES. 
 
 No. I. Patriotic. 
 
 No. 2. Religious. 
 
 No. 3. Truthful. 
 
 No. 4. Affectionate. 
 
 No. 5. Generous. 
 
 No. 6. A great desire to do right. 
 
 No. 7. Rarely cross. 
 
 No. 8. Discreet. 
 
 No. 9. Not curious. 
 
 No. 10. Manners which are excellent, but they 
 
 come from ceaseless overwatching. 
 
 No. ii. A strong will; this last quality is for the 
 
 good and for the bad. 
 
 So in calculating the total I have two more faults 
 than qualities, which is discouraging. I may add 
 to my qualities in becoming old, but I am no better 
 now than when I was young; here, at least, I am 
 so happy, I have no temptations except to slap Angel- 
 ique. She cannot get accustomed to no dinner 
 in the evening and no wine. I tell her the enormous 
 American breakfast is instead of dinner, and that 
 the sparkling American air is like champagne, that 
 she can aspirate with every respiration, but she will 
 not let herself be convinced. She is like a mule, 
 2
 
 i8 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 so obstinate. She thought it her duty to accompany 
 me on my first walk. We escaladed a hill so pre- 
 cipitous, that on our return we had to sit on the 
 grass to slide down, and she declared she would 
 not support such expeditions. To my joy my grand- 
 mother allows me to go alone. Angelique said, 
 " Que dirait Madame la Comtesse, si elle savait que 
 Mademoiselle se hasarde seide sur les grands 
 chemins." But I think she is content to stay at 
 home ; the butler teaches her English and she trims 
 hats for the maids. Their admiration of her ad- 
 dress consoles her a little for her exile of France. 
 
 Thus I promenade myself alone, which makes me 
 happy. I can march as fast as I want; I can stop 
 to look at those ravishing little honey-birds who 
 plunge their long beaks in the corolla of the flowers ; 
 I can run down hills ; I can sit myself and contem- 
 plate the clouds ; I have no more to adapt my paces 
 to a detestable, grumbling German, who but looks 
 at my shoulders, my head, my arms, my legs, to 
 correct the way I employ them. 
 
 The peasants here do not bow to the passersby, 
 only an Italian organ grinder saluted me. I asked a 
 man the direction to the river. He did not lift his 
 hat only pointed with his thumb ; perhaps American 
 manners are not as well cultivated as European 
 ones, but after all good manners are not natural, 
 all children have to be taught and punished. The
 
 WEST POINT 19 
 
 salute of the peasant is the result of the servility of 
 generations, so even in this, to be truly loyal to 
 my nation, I must admire the independence of their 
 gestures.
 
 IV 
 
 JULY 4th. Declaration of American Independ- 
 ence. 
 
 I was awakened this morning at four o'clock by 
 noises of war. I thought our soldiers at West Point 
 were making the manoeuvres and repelling a false 
 attack ; so I listened to the firing of the first Ameri- 
 can guns I had ever heard, with a trembling joy in 
 my heart. They sounded very differently from 
 European guns as they went off in loud crackles, 
 even under my window ; then I heard whistles very 
 acute and the sound of tin bells. 
 
 I got up, and in front of the house I saw little 
 boys and big boys and men making to explode 
 crackers; thus my patriotic transports were a little 
 diminished, as I should like to have slept longer, 
 but the detonations never ceased, and we could not 
 all day forget, for one instant, that it was an Ameri- 
 can feast. I tried to be pleased by the fervor of 
 the people, but it rendered Angelique very cross and 
 even somewhat agitated my grandmother. 
 
 My cousin, Henry Short, had come to spend the 
 holiday with us, and I made a long walk with him 
 in the morning. He asked me a great many ques- 
 
 20
 
 WEST POINT 21 
 
 tions about things all natural, and he smiled all the 
 time at my answers ; but to me, it is equal, for thus 
 do I learn more English, and it flatters me a little, 
 for never before did an older person want to listen 
 to me speak. 
 
 I sat alone with my dear grandmother a little 
 of a time before lunch, and she asked me how I 
 liked my Cousin Henry. I said, " I find him nice 
 but he has not manners very seductive. He called 
 me a pollygoat. What does that mean to say?" 
 My grandmother had the air surprised. ' Yes," I 
 continued, " when I said I spoke four languages 
 he called me a regular pollygoat." 
 
 My grandmother laughed and explained he must 
 have said polyglot, which signifies a speaker of 
 many tongues. I was all confused at my stupidity. 
 
 My grandmother then added in stroking my 
 hand, " My dear little girl, I am afraid it is dull 
 for you here ; there are no young people and you 
 have come to America to see something of society 
 and enjoy yourself." 
 
 I said, " But I am so happy with you, dear Grand- 
 mamma. I have never been so happy before, and it 
 is a joy for me just to walk alone. I received a let- 
 ter to-day from my aunt, Mrs. King, who invites me 
 to make her a visit at Newport, but I shall thank 
 her and refuse." 
 
 " No, my child," said my grandmother, " I wish 
 you to accept. Mrs. King is your mother's sister;
 
 22 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 she has young daughters and you must go, for there 
 you will have the chance to see one of the gayest 
 places in the world." 
 
 I did want somewhat to go, so it was not diffi- 
 cult to obey. When I heard it was a seashore place 
 where I could bathe, I ran up to tell Angelique 
 she must make me the prettiest bathing suit imag- 
 inable. We both remembered one the Comtesse 
 de Villars wore at Trouville, and Angelique said 
 she would copy it exactly. She is pleased to go 
 to Newport for she knows my aunt's French maid, 
 and that she will find there a big style of house, 
 just what I detest Angelique and I have not the 
 same tastes. 
 
 In the afternoon my Cousin Henry took me to 
 West Point, our military school, which corresponds 
 to St. Cyr. The Colonel was having a large re- 
 ception; it was thus my debut in American society. 
 When I courtesied and kissed the hand of the 
 Colonel's wife she seemed much surprised; perhaps 
 it is not the custom here, for I saw no other young 
 girls do it; they had manners very free and talked 
 with loud voices; I heard one tell a cadet he was 
 a " perfect darling " because he did give her his 
 photograph, but perhaps they were betrothed. 
 
 The cadets and officers had the air very nice ; they 
 held themselves as straight as German cadets, and 
 I was so happy to feel I was at last in the midst 
 of my own army, and not a stranger, as usual, among
 
 WEST POINT 23 
 
 European troops who might any day be my ene- 
 mies. I was so interested looking at everyone, I 
 forgot I was a young lady in society, until some 
 cadets were presented to me, and one of them asked 
 me to dance. 
 
 There was a big tent where the military music 
 played, and I soon discovered that my compatriots 
 dance like a dream, as well as Austrians. Oh! it 
 was ideal ! I danced without ceasing, laughing and 
 talking all the time. It was delicious not to have 
 to return to a chaperon ; Cousin Henry did observe 
 me, but I did not have to pay attention to him. He 
 came to ask me to go with him to have an ice, 
 when a charming Lieutenant Hill reminded me I 
 had promised to go with him, and three cadets 
 said it was their turn for a dance. I felt myself 
 in a whirlwind of enchantment. 
 
 After Lieutenant Hill and I had taken refresh- 
 ments he offered to show me the Armory of which 
 I was very content. He indicated the portraits of 
 the Presidents; I had only heard speak of Wash- 
 ington and Lincoln ; my ignorance was lamentable ! 
 
 "What did that one do?" I asked, pointing to 
 a sad looking man in uniform. 
 
 " Why that is General Grant! " 
 
 " And who was he? " 
 
 Lieutenant Hill exclaimed himself, " Well, I'll 
 be jiggered! " 
 
 I did not understand this new American word;
 
 24 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 looking at me, he added, " See here, Miss Carring- 
 ton, where have you lived all your life." 
 
 " In Europe," I answered. 
 
 " Then I suppose you have heard of Napoleon." 
 
 " Yes," I answered with dignity, for his manner 
 of questioning offended me a little, " I know all 
 that concerns him." 
 
 " In that case you may know too much, but let 
 me tell you that our General Grant was a greater 
 and far better man than your Napoleon." 
 
 I was very indignant and said, " He is not my 
 Napoleon, and General Grant is as much mine as 
 yours, and if I have been enough mis fortunate to be 
 elevated in Europe, it was not of my fault, and you 
 ought not to mock yourself of my greatest unhappi- 
 ness." I became more indignant still when I felt 
 tears come to my eyes and I turned myself and 
 walked to the door. 
 
 He followed me quickly and said, " Beg pardon, 
 Miss Carrington, I supposed, as you were brought 
 up abroad, you could not possibly care for these 
 men we West Pointers love and honor so much." 
 
 I looked him well in the whites of the eyes, al- 
 though I felt one tear I could not retain roll down 
 my cheek. I said, " Mr. Lieutenant, from the 
 tenderest age I have adored my country ; it has been 
 to me my great pain of never having seen it. If 
 I know not my American History, it is because I 
 was made to learn all the histories of Europe first.
 
 WEST POINT 25 
 
 This last winter I was studying Modern History, 
 but I had the bad chance to have the Grippe during 
 the moment we came to the chapter devoted to 
 American History, and thus I am so ignorant of 
 what I most wanted to know." 
 
 " Please forgive me," he said humbly, " I am 
 awfully sorry." 
 
 " You must be sorry for me," I said sadly, " you 
 need not be sorry for yourself." 
 
 " I am sorry for us both, then ; sony I was such 
 an ass, and sorry you never learnt that chapter, but 
 look here, Miss Carrington, let me give you lessons. 
 I 'd just love it." 
 
 " Oh, thank you," I said, once again happy, " will 
 you really? I should be so very grateful." 
 
 " All right then, when shall we begin? " 
 
 " To-morrow morning, if you want ; I am alone all 
 the morning." 
 
 " First rate ! Then I shall be at your house at 
 twelve. I am free then, it is the dinner hour." 
 
 " And you will miss your repast? " I asked. 
 
 " I don't mind," he answered, " after all dinner 
 is only an old chestnut." 
 
 I nearly exclaimed myself when I heard our dear 
 soldiers were given such queer nourishment, but I 
 try now to firmly suppress all my wonders. 
 
 We left the Armory and Lieutenant Hill showed 
 me the points of view around the fortifications and 
 took me to a path called " Flirtation Walk."
 
 26 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I hesitated to advance. " Do only people who 
 flirt come here ? " I asked. 
 
 " That is done everywhere," he said. 
 
 So I followed him and I asked, " Do nice young 
 girls have flirts ? " 
 
 He looked a little intrigued and said laughing, 
 " Search me! for I guess I am out of the running." 
 
 I was offended at his remark and said coldly, " I 
 do not want to touch you, Mr. Lieutenant." 
 
 " Don't get mad with me, Miss Carrington. 
 Your French and my slang don't quite understand 
 each other yet, but we '11 take lessons of one an- 
 other and you '11 see we '11 get on capitally." 
 
 " I only asked you about flirting," I said, with 
 an air very grave, " because I wanted to hear an 
 American officer's opinion. It is a pastime so dif- 
 ferently regarded. I have only seen other people 
 do it in all sorts of ways, and heard the people not 
 doing it criticise them so much. I am really as 
 ignorant on this subject as about the American 
 Presidents." 
 
 It was dark when we returned to the tent ; Chinese 
 lanterns were lighted, and I began dancing again, 
 and they all said I ought to wait for the fireworks. 
 But Cousin Henry arrived with an air very cross; 
 he said he had looked for me everywhere for over 
 an hour and thought something had happened. So 
 I said, " Cousin Henry, you knew I was under the
 
 WEST POINT 27 
 
 protection of our American officers, therefore I was 
 safe." 
 
 They all clapped their hands and made me a little 
 ovation, but Cousin Henry looked more cross 
 and said we must go home at once. I heard as 
 we left the tent an officer whisper to him, " Your 
 French cousin is a corker ! " It was meant as a 
 compliment, I suppose, but I was greatly afflicted to 
 be called French. How soon shall I lose my for- 
 eign appearance ? And what can corker mean ? 
 
 We were silent as we drove home, till at length 
 Cousin Henry said, " My dear Yvonne, as I am 
 somewhat older than you and a relative, you must 
 allow me to make an observation: your enthusiasm 
 for America and Americans is no doubt very de- 
 lightful, but you ought to moderate your expression 
 of it somewhat, as it must appear to strangers an 
 affectation or at least an exaggeration." 
 
 That piqued me to the quick ; " Cousin Henry, 
 you are not worthy to be an American, and to those 
 who love their country, my admiration cannot seem 
 exaggerated. I heard you remark in the tent that 
 the 4th of July was the beastliest day in the year, 
 and I was mortified a cousin of mine could say such 
 a thing to our officers, who have consecrated their 
 lives to the service of their land. I am sure they 
 understood my sentiments. Did they not applaud 
 my words?" Cousin Henry mumbled something
 
 28 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I did not understand, and I did not deign to question, 
 I felt I had triumphed. 
 
 As we turned into the avenue he patted my hand 
 which I did not like at all and said, " Let 's be good 
 friends, Yvonne. You are a nice little girl, though 
 somewhat foolish." I find his tone insupportable; 
 it reminds me of Fraiilein, although he is more 
 amiable usually. " And by the way," he added, 
 " I prefer to have you call me Henry." 
 
 " Oh, but ! " I said astonished, " you give me ad- 
 vice because you are so much older, and thus it 
 would not be respectful." 
 
 " Rats ! " he cried out. 
 
 " O my God ! " I screamed, for I have rats in 
 horror. I jumped on the seat just as we drove to 
 the door, so the butler and coachman must have 
 thought Cousin Henry had pinched me. 
 
 " You silly child," he said and pulled me down, 
 " ' rats ' is slang." 
 
 I have resolved to ask Lieutenant Hill to teach 
 me slang before we begin on History. 
 At table I told my grandmother that a kind officer 
 had offered to give me lessons in American His- 
 tory and would she permit me to take them. She 
 was very willing and I said, "If Angelique sits in 
 the room with her work it will be sufficient chaperon- 
 age, will it not? " 
 
 " Quite sufficient," said my grandmother smiling. 
 
 When I saw how kind she looked, I asked, " May
 
 WEST POINT 29 
 
 I give Lieutenant Hill something to eat as he has 
 only old chestnuts for dinner ? " 
 
 "Only old chestnuts!" exclaimed my grand- 
 mother and Cousin Henry. 
 
 " Yes, he told me so himself." 
 
 " He was laughing at you," said Cousin Henry. 
 
 " I hope not," I answered, " for he is a very nice 
 officer." 
 
 Cousin Henry displeases me sovereignly.
 
 V 
 
 JULY 5th. I come from having my first lesson 
 in American History; I felt myself a little timid 
 to ask him to teach me slang firstly. I received 
 him in the little sitting room; it was very hot and 
 all the windows were open to catch the breeze. An- 
 gelique was seated in a corner with her work. I 
 had forgotten it was her dinner hour and so she 
 was of her very worst humor, and coughed all 
 the time, to not let us forget she was there. When 
 Lieutenant Hill was announced, I observed how he 
 held himself of a manner so straight and military, 
 and I did like it. He had the air astonished to 
 see Angelique sitting in her corner, but he said 
 nothing and showed me a book he had brought. 
 
 I shall inscribe as a dialogue our conversation, 
 for I have a memory very exact. 
 
 He "Miss Carrington, I am going to be a very 
 strict teacher, and we shall get on very rapidly." 
 
 I " It must well be rapid, as I leave for New- 
 port in four days." 
 
 He "That is too bad ! I hoped to see a lot of 
 you for a long time." 
 
 (Angelique coughs, she is beginning to understand 
 30
 
 WEST POINT 31 
 
 a little English; the butler must be a good instruc- 
 tor.) 
 
 I " We want to dispatch the beginning so that 
 I can learn of our Presidents." 
 
 He " You have heard of Columbus? " 
 
 I "But yes, he was born at Genoa ; I have there 
 
 seen his statue, and I know of how Ferdinand and 
 
 Isabella did assist him, although they were occupied 
 
 with the siege of Granada, which surrendered in 
 
 I493-" 
 
 He "When did Columbus come to America?" 
 
 I " About the same time." 
 
 He "That date you must know 1492. The 
 siege of Granada is of no importance compared 
 to it. Now go on; what more do you know? " 
 
 I " Under Louis XIV the French acquired Lou- 
 isiana and discovered Canada and the Mississippi. 
 All America ought to have been a French colony 
 instead of English. It was the weakness of the 
 ministry of Choiseul under Louis XV which was 
 the cause, and yet, if the Marquis of Montcalm 
 had not been killed at Quebec in 1759, the French 
 valor would have triumphed over the English ar- 
 rogance." 
 
 He " Your learning has been very one-sided ; 
 I take entirely the English point of view." 
 
 I "Oh ! but the English are our enemies, and 
 it was because the Marquis de la Fayette, the Due 
 de Noailles and other French noblemen instructed
 
 32 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 Washington in the art of war that we triumphed, 
 and that the English are no longer our masters. 
 Imagine if you were now an English officer. What 
 a horror ! " 
 
 He " But really Miss Carrirrgton 
 
 I " Oh, let me finish. For I know also that 
 Washington and Franklin were great generals and 
 that with the help of the French they destroyed 
 the English army and fleet; that in " 
 
 He " I beg you to stop." 
 
 I, continuing "That in 1783 the peace was 
 signed at Versailles. I also know that Washington 
 was our first President ; that he wrote the code of 
 our laws, by which every American citizen is equal 
 to the other ; that South America and North Amer- 
 ica declared themselves war, as the South pos- 
 sessed slaves and wanted to keep them, and the 
 North had none, and wanted not the South to have 
 them either. Of this war I know not the date, 
 but I think Lincoln was like Washington gen- 
 eral-in-chief and then became President. There 
 are two streets off the Champs Elysees called for 
 them." 
 
 (I was breathless from talking so fast and the 
 Lieutenant had an air resigned.) 
 
 He " Have you exhausted all your knowl- 
 edge?" 
 
 I " Not quite ; for I have heard that although 
 we are all Republicans, some men want to be a
 
 WEST POINT 33 
 
 little more so, and call themselves Democrats, and 
 they quarrel like the Republicans in South America ; 
 thus our Presidents are murdered sometimes by the 
 party opposite. I think Washington or Lincoln was 
 murdered, but I avow, I don't know the which." 
 
 He " Well, I '11 be jiggered ! " 
 
 I "What do you say?" 
 
 He "If that is what they teach you abroad, 
 I call it rotten." 
 
 (Rising with dignity.) 
 
 I " Mr. Lieutenant, I thought you came here 
 to instruct me, and when I make mistakes my teach- 
 ers do not insult me and call them decayed." 
 (Then turning to Angelique.) " Venez Angelique 
 la leqon est fime." 
 
 He, jumping up " Now, Miss Carrington, I 
 beg you to stop an instant and accept my apologies. 
 You misunderstand my words." 
 
 I " I understand enough to know when a gen- 
 tleman is impolite." 
 
 He ' Yes, I was beastly rude ; please remain, 
 say anything you want, and forgive me." 
 
 I, smiling a little " It is the second time that I 
 must forgive you." 
 
 He " Yes, you are an angel ; and now let us 
 unravel these historical statements together." 
 
 Angelique who was near the door coughed ; I 
 bade her sit herself which she did very noisily, as 
 if protesting. 
 3
 
 34 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 He " Does your maid always assist at your 
 lessons ? " 
 
 I " But yes ; in France a maid would not suffice ; 
 I should have to be overwatched by a governess." 
 
 He " What a rotten country to be sure." 
 
 I, raising my eyebrows " Again the ugly word, 
 Mr. Lieutenant." 
 
 He " Beg pardon, but it makes me mad to 
 think that a girl can't trust herself alone with a 
 gentleman." 
 
 I " Oh, but I trust you; it is only for the con- 
 ventions." 
 
 He " Here we require no such absurd precau- 
 tions." 
 
 I " Do young girls receive young men all 
 alone?" 
 
 He " Of course they do." 
 
 I " I remember that Lily Stuart told me the 
 same thing; you would not then be surprised if I 
 sent my maid away? " 
 
 He " I should be infinitely satisfied." 
 
 I, reflecting a moment " Perhaps, Mr. Lieuten- 
 ant, you will take a little collation ? " 
 
 He "What's that?" 
 
 I, embarrassed " I mean to say, something to 
 eat." 
 
 He "If you are having something, I'll join 
 you." 
 
 This was a good excuse to dismiss Angelique.
 
 WEST POINT 35 
 
 I told her to ask the butler to bring the little lunch 
 I had had prepared, and that she need not return. 
 
 I "I thought you might be hungry, if they 
 only give you at West Point old chestnuts to eat, 
 as you told me yesterday." 
 
 He " I never said that." 
 
 I " Oh, but yes, you said you did not mind 
 missing your dinner, it was an old chestnut." 
 
 He, laughing " That 's slang, Miss Carring- 
 ton. By Jove, that 's a pretty good joke. You 
 are a regular daisy ! " 
 
 The Lieutenant was still laughing when An- 
 gelique herself returned with the tray; she will never 
 carry one on other occasions. 
 
 I, to Angelique " Je n 'ai plus bcsoin de vous." 
 
 She, sitting down - " Je remplirai mon devoir 
 envcrs Madame la Comtesse qui ne permetterait 
 jamais a Mademoiselle de rester settle avec un jeune 
 Monsieur. 3 ' 
 
 I was furious, but would not make her a scene, and 
 hoped she had hunger at seeing us eat. When we 
 had finished our little repast, he told me about the 
 Civil War. 
 
 He " And really, Miss Carrington, considering 
 your grandfather was killed at Gettysburg 
 
 I, stupefied " What ! and I was never told ! " 
 
 He " That is extraordinary." 
 
 I " Yes, is it not? My father died when I was 
 a little child, and my mother is not patriotic, alas!
 
 36 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 She seems to belong to all the countries she inhabits. 
 My dear grandmother, I suppose, thought I knew. 
 Oh! I shall love and venerate her more than ever. 
 I see now why you were petrified at my ignorance. 
 I supposed it did sound in your ears ' decayed.' ' 
 
 He " I said rotten." 
 
 I " But yes, it is the same thing, and now you 
 will find me a scholar so attentive." 
 
 And we did no more quarrel. He said I had 
 wonderful dispositions for learning, and he is com- 
 ing to-morrow.
 
 VI 
 
 JULY 8th. I awoke this morning at six and I 
 am writing in the freshness of the day, before 
 I start on my voyage. It seems to me that my 
 heart is a little bubbling fountain, but I must sub- 
 ject my turbulent emotions to relate what has ar- 
 rived to me. 
 
 The second day of my lesson I demanded the 
 permission of my grandmother not to have An- 
 gelique in the room ; she thought it all natural that 
 I should be alone, but Angelique was offended for 
 she liked the importance it gave her to be my 
 chaperon. Thus, Lieutenant Hill and I were alone, 
 which was very agreeable, and he gave me a gen- 
 eral idea of our history and I discovered how much 
 my ideas had been false. Then to repose ourselves 
 we walked in the garden and he asked me the his- 
 tory of my life, which he said he found more inter- 
 esting than American Presidents, but I scolded him 
 for not possessing sentiments more patriotic. My 
 grandmother invited him to remain to lunch, as he 
 thus missed his own on account of me; he did not 
 kiss her hand as a young man would do abroad for 
 courtesy, but his manners were very respectful, and 
 
 37
 
 38 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I was proud of her air so distinguished and his 
 air so military. 
 
 The third day my lesson was short; the events 
 are not very interesting after the murder of Lin- 
 coln, for there are no wars or revolutions, only 
 two or three Presidents are assassinated by imbe- 
 ciles. We again walked in the garden, where I 
 asked him the history of his life; he belongs to a 
 family of militaries his father is a colonel in the 
 West, and he says the West is the true land of 
 promise in the United States. He invited me to 
 drive with him late in the afternoon as it was our 
 last day. I said I would ask permission of my 
 grandmother, which she did accord me at once. 
 When I returned he said, " Your grandmother is a 
 corker." 
 
 Oh, what does mean corking? If it applies to 
 bottles, it cannot apply to my grandmother, too; 
 I feel a timidity to ask, for if I were a real Ameri- 
 can I should know. 
 
 Before starting on the drive I suspected Lieu- 
 tenant Hill to love me a little, for else why should he 
 want to see me twice in a day, and before he brought 
 me home, I knew he did love me much, and now I 
 am so content to be betrothed to an American offi- 
 cer, for I had always redoubted greatly to espouse 
 a European. I shall relate our conversation and 
 how everything has arrived. 
 
 At five and a half he came for me in a buggy;
 
 WEST POINT 39 
 
 an adorable carriage, without a groom, only for 
 two. I have observed that in my country many 
 things are thus arranged for only two at a time. 
 
 The afternoon was deliciously fresh after a hot 
 day, and the road was shadowed by big trees; at 
 first the horse went rapidly, but in ascending a steep 
 path up a hill, the horse walked, and I think after 
 that he walked most of the time and did even stop 
 to eat the grass. I admired the scenery and the 
 Lieutenant related about West Point, and then, I 
 know not how, we talked about ourselves thus : 
 
 I " Do you know, Mr. Lieutenant, it is the 
 first time that I went in a carriage, head to head 
 with a young man." 
 
 He " How 's that, Miss Carrington ? " 
 
 I " But yes, do you not understand ? In Eu- 
 rope when a young girl is left all alone with a 
 young man, people think there is danger he may 
 talk to her more literally than if they were over- 
 watched." 
 
 He " I see ; that danger exists here sometimes, 
 too. I swear, your literal translations are too cun- 
 ning for anything! " 
 
 (While he guides the horse past a steam roller, 
 I look in my dictionary for the word cunning. ) 
 
 I " But no, Mr. Lieutenant, not cunning ; I em- 
 ploy no artifice, I am not crafty; I only speak in 
 the best manner that I know." 
 
 He " By Jove, I love to hear you talk, and we
 
 40 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 mean here by cunning just what you are some- 
 thing sweet and lovable." 
 
 I " Oh, Mr. Lieutenant, if you knew how I 
 was afflicted to speak so differently from others, 
 and above all not to understand the American slang ; 
 when you say peaches, and daisies, and dates, and 
 chestnuts, and rats, and corking, and rotten, and 
 * search me,' and so many other expressions that in 
 my dictionary mean flowers, and fruits, and nuts, 
 and animals, and actions, so different; I am alto- 
 gether discouraged and fear I may never learn." 
 
 He " You are in the right and we are wrong 
 to use all these stupid words; don't try and learn 
 them, but just go on talking in your own pretty 
 way, with that bewitching accent, which makes me 
 think of the song of a bird." 
 
 I " You are very amiable, Mr. Lieutenant, but 
 alas! we do not understand the birds, nor do the 
 birds understand us and I want so much to know 
 and to be understood." 
 
 He " That won't take long, I promise you, and 
 it would be a shame if you were different. I have 
 never seen a girl like you before. You are like a 
 flower, with its delicate petals just opening, a 
 wonderful, lovely, sensitive flower. If I was only 
 one-tenth good enough for you, I would tell you 
 what I felt the first time I saw you, and how I feel 
 now." 
 
 We were silent for a moment. Was this a decla-
 
 WEST POINT 41 
 
 ration, and what should I answer ? I felt very emo- 
 tioned, and very timid, but as I glanced at him he 
 had an air so nice and manly, and I liked so much 
 his American uniform that I thought it would be 
 well to encourage him. 
 
 I " I am sure there can be nothing bad if you 
 tell me of your sentiments." 
 
 He, dropping the reins and turning towards me 
 
 ' You dear, sweet girl, do I understand you will 
 let me tell you that I love you ? " 
 
 I, softly " Yes." 
 
 He 'Yvonne., you are wonderful! Do you 
 know what a tremendous thing a man's love is? " 
 
 I "But no, I have no habit of such things, 
 and Mr. Lieutenant, you must know before you en- 
 gage yourself to me-, that I have no dowry." 
 
 He " All the better, for I have no money my- 
 self, and anyway we could not get married for 
 years and years." 
 
 I " That would be sad, would it not ? " 
 
 He '' Very sad, you darling, but knowing you 
 cared for me a little, I could wait forever." 
 
 I " I like you, Mr. Lieutenant, better than any 
 other young man." 
 
 He, taking my hand " My sweetest girl, I never 
 thought I would have such luck." 
 
 I "It is very natural, for I have never known 
 a young man before." 
 
 He, looking pensive " You are very young and
 
 42 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 very inexperienced, and I cannot take advantage of 
 this, but I declare I love you, Yvonne, and I will 
 be true to you, and try to be worthy of you, and 
 if after you have seen other men " 
 
 I " Oh, but I shall not want to see other young 
 men now." 
 
 He " Yes, you must ; it would not be fair to 
 you if you did n't, and the deuce of it is, they will 
 all admire you, and tell you they love you, they 
 can't help it." 
 
 I " Oh, but, I shall not let them ; and then after 
 all, Mr. Lieutenant, you will always be the first." 
 
 He" Call me Joe, darling." 
 
 I " It would seem to me not natural." 
 
 He, tenderly " And won't you give me a kiss, 
 Yvonne?" 
 
 I, frightened " Oh, please, Mr. Lieutenant, if 
 you do not mind very much, I should like to wait 
 till we are married." 
 
 He " I shall not ask for anything you do not 
 want to give freely." 
 
 (He let go my hand and took the reins, for the 
 horse was eating grass.) 
 
 I " Mr. Lieutenant, can we keep our betrothal 
 a secret ? " 
 
 He " You must do as you think best, dearest." 
 
 I " I want to keep all alone for myself the 
 thought that someone loves me." 
 
 He, dropping the reins and taking both my hands
 
 WEST POINT 43 
 
 " My sweetest girl, you cannot understand how 
 much I love you, how much touched I am by your 
 trust of me, how deeply honored by your affection, 
 of which I feel so unworthy " 
 
 I, proudly " An American officer is worthy of 
 the affection of any young girl." 
 
 He kissed my hands, but had to drop them quickly 
 as we nearly upset in a ditch. We promised to 
 write to each other as it was our last interview. 
 I am sure this is permitted when people are be- 
 trothed. The sun was down when I returned to 
 the house, and I was late for dinner. 
 
 I was a little absent-minded at table ; afterwards 
 in the drawing room my grandmother called me to 
 her. The lamps were not yet lit, but there was 
 enough clarity from the moon to see the face of 
 a person. I took a footstool and sat at her feet. 
 I was a little fatigued after the emotion of my first 
 proposal, and I leant my head against her knee 
 while she stroked my hair. Here is our conver- 
 sation : 
 
 She " You are leaving me to-morrow, and I 
 shall miss you, my dear Yvonne, but I am glad that 
 you will have this opportunity to see a lot of people 
 in general before you make up your mind about 
 people in particular." 
 
 I " Oh, Grandmamma, dearest, I am so sorry 
 to leave you and everybody here ; I should love well 
 not to PXX"
 
 44 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 She " You have seen no one, my child, except 
 a few officers and cadets, and their lives are very 
 narrow ones; the same round of military duties 
 here, and then they are transported to distant army 
 posts, where the only excitement is catching thiev- 
 ing Indians." 
 
 I " But is not to be a soldier the most glorious 
 thing a man can be? " 
 
 She " It is well for a man to be ready to fight 
 for his country. But with us there is little prestige 
 and much hardship in the military life, especially 
 for the wife of an army officer, unless a girl has 
 been brought up in that milieu." 
 
 I " But Grandmamma, you were the wife of 
 an officer, and you must be of it very proud." 
 
 She " Yes, my child, a woman is proud of her 
 husband's achievements, and your grandfather 
 fought and died in a noble cause, but I remained a 
 widow." 
 
 I, leaning my cheek on her hand " Will you tell 
 me about my grandfather? " 
 
 She " Yes, my little girl, I am happy to talk 
 of him to you. We had been married but a year 
 when the war broke out, and your grandfather took 
 command of a regiment. I remained with him in 
 camp as long as he drilled his soldiers, and when 
 he was ordered to the front, we had to part." 
 
 I " Oh, dear Grandmamma, how terrible that 
 must have been."
 
 WEST POINT 45 
 
 She " We never met again ! " 
 
 I, with tears in my eyes " You must have been 
 in despair." 
 
 She " At first I thought I could not bear it, 
 yet I did, but how, I can not tell." 
 
 I_ And my father?" 
 
 She " He was a baby. I tried in a feeble way 
 to replace his father. I learned Latin, and Greek, 
 and Algebra to help him in his studies, and I kept 
 myself well informed in politics and business mat- 
 ters. It did not occur to me to study art, and on 
 leaving college that was the vocation he chose. He 
 went to France, I was advised to let him go alone ; 
 it was the greatest sacrifice I ever made, for he 
 begged me to go with him. He passed through the 
 art schools and after returning home, he meant that 
 we should live together, but he became engaged 
 to your mother; she was young and beautiful; they 
 went to Europe, and I, well I remained alone 
 once more." 
 
 I " He loved you tenderly, dear Grandmamma. 
 When I was a little girl he used to tell me of you, 
 I can remember ; and when he died your heart must 
 have broken." 
 
 She " I don't know if the heart can break twice, 
 but I felt very, very lonely." 
 
 I " Oh, poor, dear Grandmamma ! " 
 
 And my tears did begin to flow, first slowly and 
 then I sobbed with much violence, in cause of her,
 
 46 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 and a little in cause of me, for I could not prevent 
 myself to think of Lieutenant Hill, which redoubled 
 my emotion. My grandmother was so tender and 
 gentle and tried to calm me. I think she had di- 
 vined my secret. 
 
 She " Hush, my little Yvonne, you have had 
 an unusual day, and you are overwrought; listen, 
 my child. I received this afternoon a letter from 
 your mother." 
 
 I, ceasing to cry " Oh, really ; what does she 
 say? Does she want me to return? Dear Grand- 
 mamma, do not send me back." 
 
 She " No, my child, but I must talk to you as 
 if you were a very reasonable, grown-up person. 
 Your mother's letter is about business, about money 
 matters." 
 
 I " About my dowry, I suppose." 
 
 She " Yes, Yvonne, you have guessed rightly. 
 Your mother is not able to provide for you a large 
 dot, and she asked me which was quite proper 
 what I was willing to do for you." 
 
 I " Does someone want to marry me over 
 there?" 
 
 She " Again you have guessed rightly, and I 
 think you had better be told I shall read you the 
 letter." 
 
 (I turned on the electric light.) 
 
 She, reading " ' Dear Mrs. Carrington, I am 
 glad to hear through a despatch a Mr. Short sent
 
 WEST POINT 47 
 
 me, that Yvonne had a good voyage; she was so 
 anxious to go to America, and I hope she will not 
 be too much care for you. She seems young for 
 her age and rather etourdie; however, she has made 
 her debut at court, and I must consider her future. 
 Prince Ulrich Weissenberg, a Hungarian nobleman, 
 saw Yvonne this spring and he fancied her very 
 much. His aunt, the Dowager Duchess of Krasi- 
 bor, approached me on the subject of Yvonne's dot; 
 she was also kind enough to say she had noticed the 
 child had excellent manners without a tinge of 
 American laisser-allcr; I must ask you therefore 
 very frankly whether you are willing to settle any 
 sum on Yvonne, and what dispositions you are 
 thinking of making in the future.' (Interrupting 
 herself) " Your mother is quite a business 
 woman." (Reading) " ' At present I feel her dot 
 ought to be in proportion to her husband's posi- 
 tion. Prince Ulrich Weissenberg is of very high 
 birth, connected with the Austrian Imperial family, 
 but his fortune is hardly adequate to his great estate, 
 and a rich marriage is an absolute necessity. He is 
 charming, handsome, and tres-grand seigneur. I 
 inquired in Berlin of his doctor who is also mine 
 concerning his health ; the answer was entirely 
 satisfactory; so in every respect my husband and I 
 think he is a very desirable parti, and I am told he 
 is quite epris of Yvonne.' ' 
 
 My grandmother stopped reading.
 
 48 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 She " What are your recollections of Prince Ul- 
 rich Weissenberg? " 
 
 I " I saw him three times at Berlin, but he 
 spoke very little to me, only paid me some compli- 
 ments on my dancing and riding; that is all I re- 
 member, for of course we were never alone." 
 
 She "If you cared for someone, Yvonne, I 
 would gladly settle a sum on you now ; later you 
 are the only one to inherit what I have." 
 
 I " Oh ! please, dear Grandmamma, write 
 promptly to mamma that you will give me nothing, 
 no dowry. I don't want, in fact I can't marry a 
 European now ; I can't explain, but " 
 
 She " Very well, my child, I am glad you feel 
 this way, and I shall write in such a manner that 
 this healthy Hungarian nobleman will renounce the 
 hope of your making your fortune proportionate to 
 his estate; and now, little girl, it is late, but before 
 you go to bed there are two things I want to give 
 you. Here is a cheque book. I have deposited 
 some money for you on which you can draw, and 
 this is a necklace I want, you to wear on your pretty 
 neck." 
 
 I opened the white velvet box and saw three 
 beautiful rows of pearls. I embraced my gran- 
 mother several times, my heart full of gratitude 
 not only for her presents but for her love, and I 
 told her I never wanted to go back to Europe, al-
 
 WEST POINT 49 
 
 though it must be my fate so melancholy in less 
 than two months. 
 
 I went to bed, but I could not fall asleep for a 
 long time, my head was full of all species of 
 thoughts, and I was tormented of what my grand- 
 mother said of our officers catching robbing Indians, 
 but I am glad and proud that an American loves 
 me; for the love of Prince Ulrich, I do not care.
 
 NEWPORT
 
 VII 
 
 JULY 9. I have committed a great thoughtless- 
 ness on my voyage yesterday, and it torments 
 me much to think of it. 
 
 I left my grandmother with my heart very big. 
 I love her more than any one in the world. I also 
 thought with affection of the officer who loves me. 
 Angelique was enchanted to go, as she thinks to 
 find herself in a civilized place 1 . 
 
 In New York Cousin Henry met me, which I 
 considered not at all necessary ; he procured my 
 tickets with the recommendation to be sure not to 
 lose them, and placed us in a long compartment 
 with arm-chairs for each person, which I would not 
 have known to find ; so after all there are two classes 
 in American trains; it is not as Republican as I 
 thought, but it is more comfortable. Cousin Henry 
 said he hoped after my Newport visit I would visit 
 at Lenox his sister Carolina; he explained she was 
 a maiden lady much older than himself who pos- 
 sesses a lovely house. He said also, he would try 
 and run down to Newport some Sunday, to see how 
 I was getting on. He treats me as if he were my 
 guardian, which pleases me not at all. 
 
 53
 
 54 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I observed a young girl in our compartment trav- 
 eling quite alone without a maid. I did envy her 
 independence and to have no Angelique to annoy her. 
 
 After a long time the controller came for my 
 tickets; I could find them nowhere, nor my purse, 
 either. Naturally, I have no pocket and I searched 
 myself everywhere, in my belt, my sleeves, inside 
 my bodice, but no, there was nothing. I stood up 
 and examined my chair. I overthrew in my agita- 
 tion everything in my bag, so that my different lit- 
 tle objects were scattered on the floor, and my 
 sponge rolled down the corridor. Everybody was 
 staring at me and I became more and more red. 
 Angelique only had French and German silver, 
 which the controller would not accept; to show I 
 was not a thief I offered him my jeweled watch 
 and I thought of my pearls concealed from view 
 around my neck. 
 
 When all of a sudden a gentleman got up and 
 making me a very polite salute said, " Allow me 
 to pay your fare." I did not know that expression, 
 but understood his charitable action to help me in 
 my distress. I told him my destination was New- 
 port and so he paid for Angelique and me. I was 
 all confused and only murmured indistinctly my 
 thanks. He went back to his arm-chair, which was 
 behind mine; another gentleman who sat opposite 
 me brought me my sponge, and the negro porter
 
 NEWPORT 55 
 
 rendered me my pink slippers which had also fallen 
 from the bag. 
 
 Angelique in a loud voice to show each one what 
 she thought of my conduct said : " Je pensais bien 
 que Mademoiselle ri etait pas d'age a voyager seule; 
 que dirait Madame la Comtesse! " 
 
 I found my arm-chair could turn ; so as no longer 
 to make face to Angelique I revolved it, and thus I 
 confronted the kind gentleman who had paid my 
 tickets. To hold myself in countenance, I plunged 
 myself in my book, it was Rhodes' History of 
 America, Lieutenant Hill had given me for my in- 
 struction ; there are three volumes in my boxes ; they 
 are very heavy. 
 
 The kind gentleman did not stare at me as I was 
 afraid he would, but only smiled in a sort of friendly 
 recognition, and I calmed myself. After a time, 
 as my lecture was a little arid, I contemplated the 
 scenery; it was in truth another manner of studying 
 America, and a great love filled me for my own 
 country ; for the fields through which we were run- 
 ning, for the forests so uncultured, for the sea which 
 arose through, wide bays, and for all this land which 
 was mine, because it was America and I am Amer- 
 ican. And the sky appeared to me more blue than 
 elsewhere, and the clouds like little gay sheep play- 
 ing, and oh! the world pleased me and I was so 
 glad to be in it. I think it also made me happier
 
 56 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 to know I was so aged now, that two men did love 
 me, even if one was only an Austrian. My re very 
 was interrupted by a loud bang, the History of 
 America had fallen to the earth. 
 
 The kind gentleman picked it up; in giving it to 
 me I observed what a nice smile he had, and what 
 a good look in his eyes; immediately I felt I could 
 have all confidence in him, and thus as \ve were 
 traversing, on an iron bridge, a magnificent river, 
 I said, " Pardon, sir, how calls itself that current 
 of water? " 
 
 He answered, " The Connecticut." 
 
 I thanked him and explained I desired to know 
 the names of this region as I was learning both the 
 History and Geography of America; he told me so 
 pleasantly that he would be happy to answer any 
 questions that I adventured myself to inquire about 
 the town of New Haven. 
 
 He said : " It is principally famous on account 
 of Yale." 
 
 I remembered then in an old journal to have read 
 that Yale and Harvard were to have a race at New 
 London, so I asked if Yale was a renowned horse. 
 
 He said, " No, it is a college," and was so kind 
 as not to even smile at my foolishness ; he explained 
 to me it was a University like Oxford or Cam- 
 bridge; and then looking at me again said, or like 
 Heidelberg or Jena, so he perceived I was like a 
 European, at which I could not help sighing. We
 
 NEWPORT 57 
 
 continued talking a long time, and never did I en- 
 counter a stranger so sympathetic. I could not 
 decide to myself about his age; he had such serious 
 eyes, and so gay a smile ; his hair was brown ; I 
 noticed he had long aristocratic hands, and his voice 
 and pronunciation were more English than those 
 of the officers at West Point. 
 
 We were interrupted by a negro waiter shouting 
 through the train, " Last call for dinner." I felt 
 how hungry I was, and I asked the gentleman if the 
 next station had a restaurant. He told me I could 
 dine at once on the train. Angelique at that mo- 
 ment spoke to me ; she must have been asleep to have 
 left me so long in peace, and she looked scandalized 
 to see me in conversation with a gentleman. I has- 
 tened to silence any remark by saying we were going 
 to lunch, and the kind gentleman guided us to the 
 restaurant of the train. He placed us at a little 
 table, and then left; I was sorry to see him go, and 
 still sorrier when I returned to my seat to find his 
 chair empty, and his coat and bag gone. 
 
 The porter came for me when we reached the 
 Junction, and acted as a sort of a maid in brushing 
 the dust off our clothes; Angelique was very gra- 
 cious in her manner to him ; I told him I was sorry 
 I had not a tip for him as I had lost my purse. He 
 grinned, showing very white teeth : " That 's all right, 
 Miss, your gentleman friend saw to tips and such 
 like, and he told me to look after you."
 
 58 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 We arrived at Newport at 8 o'clock as the train 
 was late. I was surprised to see such a dirty little 
 station, as I thought Newport was such a fashion- 
 able place. The gentleman who had picked up my 
 sponge, had also changed at the Junction. I heard 
 him, to my surprise, ask for Mrs. King's carriage. 
 A footman came up and said, " Here, sir," and 
 tnen to me, " Miss, are you Miss Carrington? " and 
 on my saying yes, he showed me to a limousine, 
 where I found my traveling companion already 
 seated. 
 
 Angelique had to go in a carriage with the boxes, 
 and on this occasion she did not dare make her 
 objections. The gentleman of the sponge took off 
 his hat saying : " As we are both guests of Mrs. 
 King, allow me to introduce myself. I am Hilliard 
 Carrington." 
 
 I was so pleased to hear my own name, I cried 
 out, " So am I ! I mean I am Yvonne Carrington." 
 
 " By Jove," he said, " I might have guessed it. I 
 used to hold you on my knee when you were a kid 
 in Paris." (How curious to call children little 
 goats. ) " I am your father's cousin, a good bit 
 younger than he, and now you have grown up to 
 be a young lady ! I wish I had only known when I 
 handed you your sponge ! " At that we both laughed 
 and were like good friends; but the next minute 
 my laughter was dissipated.
 
 NEWPORT 59 
 
 My Cousin Hilliard asked : " Who was your 
 friend you were talking to in the train? He has 
 a fine face. I have seen him before." 
 
 " I know not his name," I answered, " but he was 
 very kind for I lost my purse, and he paid my two 
 tickets, and tipped the porter." Then it suddenly 
 occurred to me for the first time, " And he must also 
 have paid for my lunch." 
 
 " But how will you pay him back, if you don't 
 know his name? " 
 
 " Oh, my God ! " I cried, " I never thought of 
 that! It's terrible! I shall be in his debt all my 
 life." 
 
 " Never mind," said Cousin Hilliard, " he can 
 probably afford it." 
 
 " Oh ! " I exclaimed, " I had not thought either 
 of that; he might be poor; it was a lot of money." 
 I was very unhappy at my lack of mind which 
 Cousin Hilliard could not make me forget by his 
 conversation. 
 
 It was dark as we drove up the avenue. I could 
 just see the house was of marble or granite, which 
 astonished me, as I expected a chalet like at Trou- 
 ville and other sea-bath places. 
 
 I had not seen my aunt, Mrs. King, for three 
 years. I felt excited at our meeting, but she was 
 not there to receive us. As we entered the hall, 
 her youngest daughter appeared sliding down the
 
 60 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 banisters of the stairs; sitting on the end post she 
 called out, " Mamma and Nancy have gone out to 
 dinner and I stayed up to see you." 
 
 " Hullo! Miss Mischief," said Cousin Hilliard. 
 
 " Hullo ! yourself," she answered. 
 
 " Come here, kid," he said, " I have brought a 
 pretty French cousin with me." 
 
 She came forward slowly; I thought she was 
 about twelve ; she was a handsome child, but looked 
 terribly naughty; instead of kissing me she said, 
 " You look like Romola." 
 
 " By Jove, you do ! " said Cousin Hilliard, 
 " that 's what puzzled me when I first saw you 
 
 " Do you like horses? " asked Mischief. 
 
 " Yes," I answered. 
 
 " Can you ride bare back ? " 
 
 " I have never done it, but I should like to try." 
 
 " All right, to-morrow then we '11 do some 
 stunts," and she fled up the stairs. 
 
 The servants took me to my room. Cousin Hil- 
 liard and I dined alone together; he was pleasant, 
 but I remained rather silent. I think I was tired, 
 and I felt a little lonely, as if I were in a strange 
 place, among strangers. Thus I went to bed early 
 and very rapidly fell asleep.
 
 VIII 
 
 JULY Qth continued. It is now evening. I 
 have to report another misadventure, which has 
 rendered me all confused. I must first say that I 
 discovered my purse in the bottom of my box, under 
 my dresses, where I had placed it so as not to lose 
 it; the tickets I cannot find. 
 
 After writing my memoirs this morning and just 
 as I was finishing my breakfast, Mischief, as they 
 call her, entered my room like a tornado and said, 
 without wishing me good morning : 
 
 " Hullo ! Yvonne ! Gee ! I 'm glad you 're 
 dressed ; come and try my pony. I 've two tin 
 trays; we can slide down the stairs." 
 
 She seized my hand, and down the stairs we did 
 go on the tin trays which made a terrible noise. 
 Cousin Milliard came out of his room in his panta- 
 loons of night, to see what it did mean, just as I 
 was rolling down the last step, and fell before him, 
 which was but little agreeable for me. Mischief 
 gave me no time to explain, not even to breathe, 
 and dragged me after her to the stable. There we 
 found a little pony with only a bridle on; Mischief 
 jumped on his back, and called me to follow. I 
 
 61
 
 62 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ran after her to a paddock, where she galloped 
 about. Then I tried riding bare back, and I tumbled 
 off several times; but once I have decided to do 
 something, nothing can resist my will. Finally I 
 galloped about, holding on by the force of my knees, 
 and when I at last jumped off, Mischief flung her 
 arms around my neck and said, " Gosh ! you 're a 
 corker! and I love you." 
 
 I felt happy to be loved by her, although she is 
 a real child-terrible. It made me also joyful to 
 act thus in a youthful manner: to run, to jump, 
 for I have had no occasions for such pastimes. 
 
 Then Mischief and I ran down to the rocks. We 
 sprang from one to another like chamois; I wore 
 no hat and my hair unrolled itself on my back, and 
 when we went in wading, Mischief said I looked 
 like a mermaid, in Rhinegold. It was delicious to 
 feel the cool water on my feet. As we were play- 
 ing about so happily and making to swim pieces of 
 wood as boats, we suddenly heard voices calling us ; 
 looking up, I saw standing on the bank Cousin 
 Hilliard and a young girl. 
 
 I let drop all my skirts in the water and Mischief 
 said : " It 's only Nancy and old Hilliard. Don't 
 pay any attention to them." 
 
 I remembered Nancy was the cousin the nearest 
 to my age, so I waved my hand and slipped on my 
 shoes to scramble over the rocks. With my frock
 
 NEWPORT 63 
 
 all wet and crumpled I presented a disastrous ap- 
 pearance. Cousin Milliard laughed much when he 
 saw me, saying, " By Jove, you looked like such a 
 sedate young lady yesterday, I never supposed you 
 would turn into a playmate for Mischief." Nancy 
 was beautifully dressed as if she were going to an 
 afternoon reception; she kissed me as if she thought 
 I was a dirty beggar. 
 
 " The carriage is at the door," she said, " to take 
 us to Bailey's Beach, and Mamma wants to see you, 
 but you had better tidy up first." 
 
 " Golly ! You bet you had," said Mischief, who 
 had joined us ; she led me through paths unseen, and 
 hiding behind the foliage, we climbed through a win- 
 dow into Cousin Hilliard's room and went up the 
 back stairs leaving wet traces behind us. Angelique 
 nearly fainted when she saw me, with my hair un- 
 done, nude legs, and a wet, dirty dress. She scolded 
 the entire time I was changed from an untidy child 
 into a delicious apparition, in pink muslin, with a 
 pink hat, white shoes and white gloves; a costume 
 I had reserved for great occasions, but which only 
 matched Nancy's morning toilette. My hair fortu- 
 nately waves of itself, so it only took me a few 
 minutes to dress. 
 
 Mischief had watched my transformation; when 
 it was accomplished she. said : 
 
 "Gosh! You are just the beauti fullest thing I
 
 64 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ever saw." And that wild little girl made me the 
 most graceful, charming courtesy, and quietly she 
 led me to her mother's door. 
 
 I knocked and entered Aunt Marian's boudoir. 
 She was dressed in a marvelous white lace morn- 
 ing gown ; she kissed me and said : 
 
 " I am glad to see you, Yvonne ; you have changed 
 very much in three years; you look like your 
 mother: the same golden hair; but you have Car- 
 rington eyes, and perhaps your nose is like your 
 father's. Where did you get that dress, Paquin or 
 Doucet?" 
 
 I told her it had been made in Berlin, so she no 
 longer examined it with interest. 
 
 She resembles my mother; her manner is the 
 same, but because she is so fat her movements are 
 slower; she must be at least ten years older, and 
 she has not conserved her waist. Our effusions 
 lasted two minutes, and then I left, for I heard 
 Nancy calling me with great noise. I wonder what 
 my step- father would say if he had heard some one 
 screaming through the house in that manner. 
 
 Nancy at first did not recognize me and Cousin 
 Hilliard made some flattering remarks ; then we all 
 three drove to the bathing beach, so soon to be the 
 scene of my great blunder. 
 
 Nancy said the maids had gone ahead with our 
 costumes. It came to my mind, I had no peignoir, 
 to wear to the edge of the water, but Nancy said
 
 NEWPORT 65 
 
 in America nobody wore them, and I was glad to 
 think in my country nothing was considered im- 
 proper, because people had such a pure mind. 
 
 Nancy looks terribly blasee; she has been out for 
 two seasons; so I suppose nothing seems new to 
 her; she bows to her acquaintances only with her 
 eyelids. 
 
 There were a lot of carriages waiting in a semi- 
 circle; as we alighted, a tall, very distinguished 
 young woman came towards us, and Cousin Hilliard 
 looked extremely contented to see her. 
 
 " This must be little Yvonne," she said and took 
 my hand. " We can't kiss, our hats are too big," 
 and then staring at me an instant, she added, " You 
 lucky girl, you have curly hair." 
 
 I looked a little bewildered 
 
 " I am your cousin Romola," she exclaimed laugh- 
 ing. I blushed at my stupidity, for I remembered 
 the oldest of my aunt's four daughters had married 
 the Duke of Fairfield. I had heard my mother say 
 she was very fast ; and that the duke was very dis- 
 sipated, and an intolerable creature, and if he had 
 not been a duke she would have divorced herself 
 of him long ago, but I don't suppose women often 
 divorce themselves from dukes. 
 
 "Hurry," she said, "you are late; everybody is 
 in already ; I am only looking on to-day, for I have 
 just had my hair crimped." 
 
 I found Angelique waiting for me, and I was 
 5
 
 66 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 soon in my bathing suit. I must say she had been 
 very successful; it looked just like the Comtesse de 
 Villars', but, alas ! if I had only known, I would not 
 have admired so much the little frilled pantaloons 
 that came down half way to my knees, and the little 
 short blouse cut square at the neck, all in sky blue 
 cachemire. Angelique had even procured a light 
 blue cap, and white sandals with blue ribbons ; when 
 she is pleased at her own success, she is very amiable 
 and she made me compliments, so I knew my cos- 
 tume was well succeeded. I did feel a little strange 
 as I stepped from my cabin to walk down the whole 
 length of beach without a wrap. I observed to my 
 surprise that the men and women bathed together, 
 even lying all of their length on the sand ; and that 
 women wore stockings, which must be most uncom- 
 fortable when they are wet. 
 
 I knocked at Nancy's door, but she said she was 
 not half ready and told me to wait for her in the 
 water; so I walked along the soft, warm sand, where 
 the waves rolled over my feet; they seemed to be 
 giving me little caresses, before I plunged into the 
 great big embrace of the sea. 
 
 In looking back for Nancy, I noticed the people 
 were staring at me terribly and even whispered to 
 each other, which I thought very rude. I knew no 
 one. Then I perceived Romola talking to several 
 gentlemen; she had her back to me, and I did not 
 dare to join myself to her group. I am not often
 
 NEWPORT 67 
 
 really shy, but I did feel a little uncomfortable and 
 strange. 
 
 I passed at the side of two young men; I heard 
 them speaking French, which to my surprise gave 
 me a sensation of pleasure and familiarity. 
 
 Cousin Milliard joined me. He looked me over, 
 frowning a little, " By Jove, Yvonne, where did you 
 get that costume ? " 
 
 " Angelique made it," I said, " do you not think 
 it pretty?" 
 
 " I guess abroad it would be all right, but here 
 well, let 's get into the water." 
 
 I thought Cousin Hilliard looked a little red, per- 
 haps he felt the heat of the sun, so we went into 
 the waves quickly, and oh ! it was delicious to plunge 
 in their green coolness. Soon I saw Nancy appear 
 followed by three or four young men. 
 
 " Nancy is very popular to-day," said Cousin Hil- 
 liard, " I like her bathing suit immensely ; you ought 
 to have one just like it." 
 
 " But no," I said, " it must be horrible to wear 
 stockings and in a skirt so long one cannot swim; 
 and that I do wish much to learn." 
 
 Nancy approached us looking rather cross. 
 
 " Everybody is asking who you are, Yvonne," she 
 said, " is your bathing suit queer? " 
 
 " Why, no," I answered, " it is like the Comtesse 
 de Villars'." 
 
 Nancy could see but to my waist and had no
 
 68 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 fault to find. The young men asked to be presented 
 to me; apparently at Newport the morning bath 
 is a ceremony of society like the evening ball. I 
 recognized the two Europeans ; they were presented 
 as Count Janos of the Austrian embassy and Mar- 
 quis de Muy of the French embassy. 
 
 I asked Nancy if there was a swimming master I 
 could engage ; she said none was to be had, but all 
 the young gentlemen very kindly offered to teach 
 me, and so I did sport joyously in the water like a 
 dolphin, and I learnt very quickly to float. Nancy 
 was not interested in my swimming lesson; she 
 looked discontented and stayed not with us. Cousin 
 Hilliard I saw go and talk to Romola; it seems 
 strange to me, a man all dripping with water talking 
 to a woman beautifully dressed. 
 
 I began at last to feel cold and tired and came 
 out of the water. Count Janos and the Marquis 
 de la Muy wanted me to sit myself with them on 
 the warm sand ; they said all the ladies did it. At 
 that moment Romola came up to us; they bowed 
 to her, but she paid no attention to them, and slip- 
 ping off her wonderful white pongee cloak, all 
 trimmed with lace insertions, she put it over my 
 wet bathing suit. 
 
 " Come, Yvonne, you look cold," she said and 
 took my hand. I was surprised at first, but then I 
 suddenly understood from her expression she 
 thought my costume was immodest, and I was over-
 
 NEWPORT 69 
 
 whelmed with shame! At the door of my cabin I 
 asked Romola to come in and with my voice trem- 
 bling I said, " I suppose I have disgraced you all, 
 and myself too in appearing like this before every- 
 body; I knew not what people wore here, and this 
 is like the costumes abroad ; I fear it has even shrunk 
 in the water, to be shorter than the one of the Com- 
 tesse de Villars. Oh ! why did I ever think of copy- 
 ing it ! I am so ashamed, I want to go back to 
 grandmamma, and let no one here see me again." 
 
 I was shivering all over from cold and shame. 
 Romola commanded Angel ique to rub me down as 
 hard as she could, and then she said to me in the 
 kindest way imaginable : 
 
 " Nonsense, Yvonne, you need not feel so badly ; 
 it was only a mistake, and the thing for you now 
 is to brave it out. I am sure you are not a coward. 
 If the people talk a little, don't pay any attention; 
 women always love to say disagreeable things, es- 
 pecially when they are envious. Everybody will 
 consider you a foreigner; and I shall see to it, that 
 no unpleasant remark is made. To-morrow you 
 will appear with me in our conventional bathing suit 
 with stockings; and a great pity it will be too, for 
 you looked like the sweetest and prettiest little 
 Naiad." 
 
 " They say I look like you," I said shyly. 
 
 " We '11 call it a compliment to us both." And 
 she kissed me.
 
 70 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 When I was dressed she walked about with me a 
 little, introducing me to her friends ; then she drove 
 me home in her dog-cart. Oh ! she is so charming, 
 and she has the most seductive manners I have ever 
 seen. 
 
 I still must hope my compatriots have a pure 
 mind, although they do consider a European bathing 
 costume improper.
 
 IX 
 
 JULY 1 6th. I have been a whole week in a 
 vortex of gaiety; every minute a new delight, 
 and owing to Romola, the bathing suit episode has 
 passed itself without bad consequences. This morn- 
 ing it is raining, and I shall devote myself to my 
 correspondence. I shall copy firstly what remains 
 of Lieutenant Hill's letter, as Nancy came to my 
 room to curl her hair and burnt off part of it with 
 her tongs. 
 
 " My sweetest Yvonne, 
 
 " I can hardly believe that I am the lucky fellow 
 who is engaged to you. Night and day your lovely 
 image is before me; I wish I were a poet or a great 
 musician to find in some beautiful way the expres- 
 sion of all my love for you. I close my eyes and 
 I see before me the deep blue eyes with their dark 
 eye-lashes, the golden hair, the red lips, smiling and 
 sensitive, of my beloved; your whole face where 
 every emotion is so vivid; the charm of every ges- 
 ture, of every intonation. You sweet, exotic 
 flower! how do I dare transplant you in the rough 
 soil of my unsettled life. My Darling, I feel so
 
 72 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 unworthy of you! I am learning French so that 
 we can talk together in that delightful language. I 
 long for you unspeakably " 
 
 The rest is burned and I have no remembrance of 
 the words; I have had but little occasions to think 
 of my Betrothed, but now I will write to him : 
 
 " Dear Mr. Lieutenant, 
 
 " Your letter so tender made me to redden ; you 
 are not unworthy of me I am sure, so torment not 
 yourself with that idea. Do not learn French for 
 cause of me, for I am making great progresses in 
 English and I prefer to speak it always. Imitate 
 my example and seek diversions, for then you will 
 not think of me so much and feel longings ; it would 
 be misfortunate, as we have to wait so long to be 
 married, if you were unhappy all the time. I leave 
 you now as I must write to my grandmother. Re- 
 ceive, I pray you, dear Mr. Lieutenant, the assurance 
 of my very good friendship. 
 
 " YVONNE." 
 
 My letter sounds very cold in comparison with 
 his, but a young girl cannot write with the same ar- 
 dor as a young man. 
 
 " Dearest Grandmamma, 
 
 " It is just eight days since I left you, with my 
 heart very big, but so many new things have sue-
 
 NEWPORT 73 
 
 ceeded themselves with so much rapidity, that I feel 
 I have lived in the meantime a whole little life. I 
 lost my tickets in the train, and my purse was in 
 my trunk, so a kind gentleman paid for me; but I 
 stupidly did not ask his name to repay him, although 
 I talked with him a long time; the thought of it 
 troubles me very much. 
 
 " Cousin Milliard Carrington came with me here ; 
 he said he remembered me as a little goat in Paris ; 
 he calls also Mischief a kid, that is a strange ex- 
 pression, is it not? Mischief is my youngest 
 cousin; she is a very wild child, but with such a 
 warm heart she has quite won my affection ; every- 
 body expects her to be naughty, so of course she 
 is, but for me she will do anything, and as I arise 
 two or three hours before the others, thus we 
 spend the early mornings together, in all sorts of 
 childish plays. At eleven I become a young lady 
 dressed in beautiful clothes, and my marvelous 
 pearls are very much admired. Nancy made me 
 spend a lot of money; she said I was fitted out like 
 a school girl, and I find that here women are more 
 distinguished by their clothes and carriages than by 
 anything else. Newport is a very gay place ; there 
 is something going on every minute; and at night 
 dinners and balls; but nobody looks very animated 
 or as if they enjoyed it much, for all the trouble it 
 costs. 
 
 " People are very kind to me, especially the gen-
 
 74 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 tlemen, and some old ladies who know you, and 
 other ladies who want Mamma to be polite to them 
 abroad. It is very clear to observe those whose 
 politeness comes from the heart, and those who use 
 it to obtain a return favor. Aunt Marian is very 
 easy to live with because she is quite indifferent to 
 what anybody does; the one I love best is Romola 
 of Fairfield. She is very beautiful, and distin- 
 guished, and elegant ; although she seems not to care 
 for anybody, people are constrained to care for her. 
 The Duke is not here. Mischief says I am the first 
 young girl she has ever taken a fancy to, because 
 my manners are quiet and I do not ask questions. 
 This pleases me much. 
 
 " I think young girls are very negligent of their 
 behavior and they are not taught to venerate their 
 elders. Nancy laughs at me for my bows and 
 courtesies. I have learnt now to converse with 
 young men like a thing all natural, and I often have 
 a little circle around me. I observe also the young 
 girls shriek very much, with piercing voices that 
 seem quite untrained ; I do not think they have had 
 lessons of deportment, for they swing their arms, 
 and cross their legs and sit down all in a heap. I 
 hope, dear Grandmamma, you do not think me un- 
 patriotic to make these remarks, for they express 
 more surprise than blame. 
 
 " Lily Stuart has invited me to stay with her at 
 Bar Harbor; if you allow me, I shall accept;
 
 NEWPORT 75 
 
 for although I regret infinitely to be so long away 
 from you, yet I want to see as much of America 
 as I can. I hold all my thoughts of the future 
 folded around me, so as not to let them stray to- 
 wards the terrible moment of my departure. I 
 knew I should love my own country but I had not 
 awaited to enjoy its pleasures so enormously. 
 
 " Good-bye, dearest Grandmamma. I embrace 
 you with the tenderest affection. Your loving little 
 
 " YVONNE." 
 
 " ist P. S. I do not want to glorify myself of 
 the admiration of young men, and I must tell you 
 that unfortunately Aunt Marian told people I was 
 an heiress, a remark I regret, but know not how to 
 repair, so perhaps that is why the gentlemen sur- 
 round me in circles. I discovered also Angelique 
 was interviewed by a reporter ; I fancy she told him 
 all sorts of stupidities concerning me. 
 
 " Y. C." 
 
 " 2nd P. S. I forgot to tell you Uncle John 
 arrived yesterday; I had thought he was dead, for 
 Aunt Marian brings him not abroad with her, and 
 nobody had ever spoken of him. He is kindly, 
 and very bald, and smoked all the time in the li- 
 brary ; Mischief was the only one who caressed him. 
 How astonished my step- father would be, to see 
 that the chief of the house was always, so to say, 
 put at the foot of the table.
 
 76 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " With one more kiss, dear Grandmamma, I must 
 close at last, this very long letter. 
 
 " Your 
 
 " YVONNE."
 
 X 
 
 JULY 23rd. For a whole week I have not writ- 
 ten in this little book, and yet I could fill pages 
 with things most interesting, which have arrived 
 to me. 
 
 Uncle John disappeared this morning without the 
 household being gathered together to bid him good- 
 bye, as we always do when my step-father departs. 
 In America no ceremonies are practised to increase 
 the importance of little events, as is the habit in 
 Germany, and yet I see no great love of simplicity; 
 at least not at Newport, where everything is so 
 elaborate, and it is thought necessary to spend much 
 money for a little amusement; thus I am rendered 
 perplexed by contradictions I do not understand. 
 
 Evelyn, my aunt's second daughter has been here 
 for a few days ; she is so full of contradictions that 
 I am lost in deciphering them. She is no longer 
 very young; she is twenty-three, and looks more 
 like Nancy than like Romola or Mischief, who both 
 have red brown hair; she is tall, and thin, and 
 blond; she told me that after four years of society 
 she got sick to death of it, and took up Settlement 
 
 77
 
 78 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 work in New York; there she lives among the in- 
 ferior classes, but I notice she has not attained that 
 happy expression of peace one sees in nuns' faces. 
 She is very fatigued at present and lies down all the 
 time. I supposed as she had given up her life to 
 the poor for love of charity, she would try and make 
 Mischief happy and show her tenderness; but no, 
 she hardly allows her in the room, for she says 
 Mischief is so noisy, she makes her head ache. 
 
 The different members in families here are very 
 independent of each other, and don't stick together 
 all the time as they do in Europe; they never invite 
 to dinner parents and children, or brothers and sis- 
 ters, and yet it is not because they have quarreled. 
 Oh! no, they simply prefer a society occasion to be 
 very formal, not a reunion of intimates. 
 
 Evelyn likes me to read to her in French, and to 
 stroke her forehead ; she says I have a soothing 
 touch. When she has rested herself a little she is 
 going to a Settlement in Boston, and has invited me 
 to stay with her for a day or two on my return 
 from Bar Harbor; this I shall do, as I want to see 
 all the sides of American life, but I do not wish to 
 dwell long among the poor as I am not at all sick 
 of society. 
 
 The one person here who likes me not is Nancy. 
 Mischief says she has a beastly nature and that she 
 is jealous of me. Apparently the Marquis de Muy 
 and Count Janos have paid less attention to her since
 
 NEWPORT 79 
 
 I came, but it is not of my fault, but I have done no- 
 thing to seduce them. 
 
 Yesterday morning was Sunday, and no one went 
 to church. It was raining in torrents when Count 
 Janos called. He wished also to follow the Ameri- 
 can custom of going in pairs, and as Nancy was 
 executing some music in the drawing room, and 
 Romola and Cousin Hilliard were in the library, 
 Evelyn lying down in the morning room, and Mis- 
 chief sliding down the banisters in the hall, Count 
 Janos persuaded me to go to walk with him. I am 
 never afraid of the bad weather, thus we went. He 
 is very amusing; we talk French or German, in 
 which languages I fear I am more at my ease than 
 in my maternal tongue. We walked along the cliff 
 path, and took refuge from the storm under an 
 enormous rock. The waves were gigantic, and 
 sprang towards us as if to seize us ; it is thrilling to 
 watch the mass of green waters rise and roll over 
 into glistening foam. Oh, I do so love the sea, I 
 would like to be a mermaid, and plunge and play in 
 its depths. 
 
 My hands being cold and wet I took off my gloves. 
 Count Janos warmed them by holding them, and 
 then he kissed my fingers. I cannot think there was 
 harm in that, although perhaps Mr. Lieutenant might 
 not like it ; but I reflect I have not yet given him 
 my hand in marriage, thus my fingers are still my 
 own. Count Janos said he would like to marry a
 
 80 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 sweet, American young girl, and I said I hoped he 
 would, just as I wished to marry a nice American 
 man. He looked annoyed at my answer, and said 
 I was an exasperating flirt; that all American girls 
 were flirts, and yet that Europeans were always fall- 
 ing in love with them. I said, " Is it not our dow- 
 ries which Europeans love ? " 
 
 He answered, " We love no more your dowries, 
 than you do our titles." Our talk seemed to grow 
 a little acid so I asked him for one of his funny 
 stories, and our good humor was thus restored. 
 On the way home he told me that he had just re- 
 ceived a letter from a cousin of his Prince Ulrich 
 of Weissenberg who was on his way across the 
 ocean, to persuade an American girl to marry him. 
 This news did stupefy me, but as Mischief says, 
 I am a sport, and I love excitement even when 
 it is somewhat perilous; it will be altogether for- 
 midable to refuse Prince Ulrich face to face. 
 
 On returning to the house, Count Janos and I en- 
 tered the hall ; there to my surprise and annoyance I 
 saw Cousin Henry Short. The family were in the 
 hall, where they assemble when it arrives by ex- 
 traordinary that they are ready for the repasts, 
 otherwise here, one waits for nobody. 
 
 Cousin Hilliard cried out, " Well, Yvonne, here 's 
 another cousin come to see you." 
 
 I shook hands with Cousin Henry who gazed at
 
 NEWPORT 81 
 
 me with a searching and unpleasant stare; but I 
 quickly escaped myself to change my wet clothes. 
 They were all at table when I descended and I found 
 my place was next to Cousin Henry, but I talked 
 mostly to my other neighbor. Cousin Henry said 
 he must speak to me alone for a moment, so after 
 the coffee we went to a little parlor, my curiosity 
 awakened to know what he wanted of me. 
 
 With a dramatic gesture he handed me a cutting 
 from a journal, where I saw to my surprise my 
 own picture, taken from a photograph made when 
 I first came to Newport. 
 
 " Read that ! " said Cousin Henry with ferocity 
 in his tone. 
 
 I read: "Miss Yvonne Carrington, a debutante 
 fresh from Europe, with all the flavor of the old 
 world added to her very modern charm, has dazvned 
 on Newport society. Her debut was at Bailey's 
 Beach, where she took the elite by storm, as rising 
 like Venus from the waves, the risque scantiness 
 of her costume recalled the far-famed sights of the 
 beaches of Trouville and Ostcnd. It is rumored that 
 this bewitching ingenue who is connected with the 
 highest insular and continental nobility, and already 
 presented in imperial circles, is soon to have her fair 
 locks adorned by a prince's coronet. . . ." 
 
 I crushed the paper in my hand ; my face covered 
 with redness. 
 6
 
 82 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 Cousin Henry said, " I am glad to see you can 
 blush : what explanation have you to give to this 
 outrageous article ? " 
 
 " None to you," I answered, " for it was out- 
 rageous for you to show it to me, and I shall never 
 speak to you again." With my head very high I 
 traversed the room, but he seized my arm. 
 
 " What is this allusion to a prince ? At West 
 Point you got involved in some sort of flirtation, 
 with a half-baked officer. I suppose here you have 
 got engaged to one of these foreign monkeys ! " 
 
 I saw the ugly gleam of jealousy in his eye ; free- 
 ing my arm I left the room without answering him, 
 and locked myself into my own chamber. 
 
 My spirit was filled with disgust; all my pleas- 
 ure, my happiness did faint away; I had begun to 
 forget my misfortunate bathing suit, and to have 
 this vile paper publish in America that story, the 
 rest of which was supplied, no doubt, by the bab- 
 blings of Angelique! I was too angry to cry, I 
 should like to have screamed. 
 
 Mischief came to the door and said, " Mr. Short 
 wants to speak to you." 
 
 " Tell him," I cried, " I shall never speak to him 
 again; I hate him." 
 
 " I am so glad," Mischief called back, " I hate 
 him too." 
 
 And I could hear her run down the stairs where 
 she gave my message as I said it.
 
 NEWPORT 83 
 
 All the afternoon I remained obstinately alone, 
 till finally Evelyn plaintively asked me to rub her 
 head, so I let her in; when she saw how emotioned 
 I was, she was very kind to me, and forgetting 
 her headache, she made me tell her the sad history 
 of my bathing costume. 
 
 " Don't bother about it any more," she said, " we 
 never pay attention to what the newspapers say, 
 especially a yellow journal like that," and she 
 smoothed out the paper, but I could not see that it 
 was yellow. 
 
 Then she suddenly became absorbed in reading 
 the article, and I was pleased she showed me so 
 much interest. I bent over her shoulder to look 
 at it again, when to my surprise, I saw that she 
 was reading the reverse side, where there was the 
 portrait of a man. It was the face of the kind 
 gentleman in the train, and Evelyn was reading 
 with avidity the lines beneath his picture; the top 
 part of the article had been cut, and there was no 
 name. 
 
 Evelyn suddenly exclaimed, " It is an outrage 
 to publish such things ; the cur who wrote this ought 
 to be whipped ! " 
 
 I had never seen Evelyn so indignant; I did not 
 know she could ever be so aroused. 
 
 " But," I said, " you have not read what concerns 
 me!" 
 
 She was quite embarrassed, and for the first
 
 84 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 time she hastily glanced at my portrait and at the 
 villainous remarks. 
 
 " Oh, yes," she observed quite indifferently, " that 
 is just silly nonsense," and she prepared to quit the 
 room. 
 
 " Please," I said, " give me back the cutting." 
 
 " Oh, no, my dear," said Evelyn, " I have a special 
 reason for wishing to keep it." 
 
 " And I have two special reasons for wanting it," 
 I said. " Give it back to me." 
 
 I then noticed Mischief had slipped into the room, 
 and was watching us with much curiosity; I did 
 not want to make a scene, but I wanted that cutting, 
 which belonged to me, and I could not understand 
 why Evelyn was so determined about a thing which 
 concerned her not. 
 
 " Yvonne," she said, "don't make a fuss ; I am 
 much older than you, and my reasons are better 
 than yours, so we shall discuss this no longer," and 
 she went towards the door. I felt a sudden anger 
 ascend to my brain : 
 
 " Evelyn, you shall not leave here with that 
 paper ; you are very strange ; you have contradicted 
 yourself firstly by saying that article concerning 
 me was of no consequence, and secondly by saying 
 that what was written on the other side was an out- 
 rage." 
 
 " You little fool," said Evelyn angrily and tried 
 to pass me.
 
 NEWPORT 85 
 
 At that moment Mischief seized the paper from 
 Evelyn's hand and cried out triumphantly 
 " Stung! There Yvonne is what belongs to you; 
 Evelyn sha'n't treat yon as if you were one of her 
 paupers, who has to obey her." 
 
 I saw Evelyn's hand rise as if she were going to 
 slap Mischief; then it dropped to her side, and she 
 left the room. 
 
 I was sorry Mischief had been so rude, and I 
 told her so as she gave me the paper ; but she threw 
 her arms around my neck, and embraced me with all 
 her strength. 
 
 ' You sha'n't be angry with me, you darling," 
 she cried, " for I have only you to love. Evelyn 
 has the temper of a turkey, and everyone else is 
 horrid to me except you. They all think I am bad, 
 and nobody likes to have me near them. To-mor- 
 row you are going away to Bar Harbor, and my 
 heart will break." 
 
 She nearly strangled me, and, bursting into sobs, 
 she fled from the room. I love Mischief, and I 
 wish the others loved her too, but I have never seen 
 such different characters as those of my aunt's four 
 daughters. 
 
 Angelique appeared to dress me, as there was a 
 big dinner at home that evening, and, even torn as 
 I was by different emotions so varied, I did not 
 wish to miss it. She talked a great deal while she 
 did my hair ; said she had had a letter from Fraiilein
 
 86 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 a few days ago, and that everyone hoped I should 
 return to Europe and marry a nobleman, like my 
 cousin Madame la Duchesse. I concluded from her 
 remarks that Fraiilein had been listening behind 
 the doors, as I once caught her doing, and that it 
 was through Angelique that the rumor had cir- 
 culated of Prince Ulrich's intentions. I disdained 
 to reprove her ; the evil was done, and there is no 
 use in bleeding a dead man. 
 
 While she talked, I smoothed out the crumpled 
 paper, and I succeeded in making it flat. I looked 
 long at the portrait of the gentleman, who had been 
 so kind to me; I noticed what a strong, fine visage 
 he had, and these were the words written beneath 
 the picture, the continuation of what was missing 
 above : " as the habit is now of rich financiers to 
 advertise themselves through philanthropic schemes. 
 This ne^v reformer, with his Sanitarium in the Berk- 
 shire Hills, side by side with his stock farm, both 
 conveniently situated to combine charity with gaiety, 
 draws attention to the gifts his left hand bestows, 
 which overshadows the source of wealth from wJiicJi 
 his right hand is draw'ing " 
 
 I did not understand what this meant, but I saw 
 it was spiteful, and I wished his name had been 
 there. As I was all dressed, ready to descend, 
 Evelyn entered the room. She looked more pretty 
 than I had ever seen her, with quite a little color
 
 NEWPORT 87 
 
 in her cheeks; she wore a beautiful dress; she held 
 out her hand to me : 
 
 " Forgive me, Yvonne, for having lost my 
 temper; I have a very quick one, which I try to 
 control, but sometimes it still gets the better of me." 
 
 I kissed her and said, " Dear Evelyn, do not 
 speak of it again, and if you really want the paper 
 so much, you can have it." 
 
 " Thank you," she said, and a little to my sur- 
 prise she calmly took it. 
 
 " What is the name," I asked, " of the man whose 
 portrait interests you so much ? " 
 
 " Oh ! " she said lightly, " it is someone with 
 whom I have been associated in charity work; but 
 come, dinner is ready. I heard some of the guests 
 arriving." 
 
 I had no further chance to question her and soon 
 forgot this episode in the gaiety of the dinner, 
 where I let myself go very freely to the animation 
 of conversation ; I received many compliments 
 which tickled my ear agreeably. Oh! it is so good 
 to be young and to find people appreciative !
 
 BAR HARBOR

 
 XI 
 
 JULY 28th. One cannot write with facility, 
 when all one's time is addicted to pleasure. 
 But this morning Lily Stuart is in bed with a head- 
 ache, thus I have a few moments to consecrate my- 
 self to my Memoirs. 
 
 My voyage to Bar Harbor was without incidents ; 
 it was the first time I traveled by night in an Amer- 
 ican train. I could not secure a stateroom, so 
 Angelique and I had two beds over each other. 
 Me, the upper one, as I am the most agile in climb- 
 ing. Angelique was scandalized that people re- 
 moved their clothes so publicly, but I told her that 
 every land had different opinions of decency. She 
 undressed herself not at all, and thus conserved her 
 own modesty ; I slept very well and only regretted 
 not to have studied more my country's scenery. 
 There was a great deal of fog in crossing to the 
 island; therefore, my first impression of Mt. Desert 
 was vague. Angelique managed to be ill three 
 times, she says just the aspect of a boat turns her 
 stomach. I left her alone, as I do not think that 
 sea-sickness calls forth sympathy. 
 
 Lily Stuart met me at the quay ; it is a very ugly 
 one and I am surprised that the entrances to our 
 
 91
 
 92 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 fashionable places have so little a smiling aspect. 
 We drove to the Stuart's country estate, where 
 Mrs. Stuart greeted me with a warm welcome, 
 which did please me , much. Lily says Philadel- 
 phians are nearly always amiable; I should like to 
 reside in that city. 
 
 I am so very happy here that I nearly lose the 
 desire to be with my dear grandmother; we do 
 not whirl about like at Newport from one distrac- 
 tion to another ; thus we have a little time to reflect 
 and to know we are amusing ourselves. 
 
 We breakfast all together at nine, and Mr. Stu- 
 art, although he assumes not the dominating posi- 
 tion of master of the household, yet is loved as 
 a husband and a father, unlike poor Uncle John, 
 who seemed to produce a family only for their own 
 pleasure, not for his. 
 
 Mr. Stuart does not have a chance to talk very 
 much; for Mrs. Stuart is so bright and amusing 
 one wants to listen to her all the time. Lily and 
 her little brother Tom have also perfect freedom 
 to converse. Mrs. Stuart is very stout, and all 
 her person seems to contain kindliness and mother- 
 liness, as if it overflowed to everyone, beyond the 
 natural evidence of her love for her two children. 
 It must be very wonderful to have such a mother ! 
 
 I like Tom very much ; he is ten, and is ten years 
 younger than Lily. He is a very interesting boy. 
 He adores 'music and animals; his pockets are al-
 
 BAR HARBOR 93 
 
 ways full of beetles, frogs, rats, snakes and worms. 
 He tries to educate them, and gives them Bible 
 names; the more beautiful names to the ugliest 
 creatures, as a sort of compensation. His favorite, 
 a big toad, he calls Israel for he is the father of 
 many; Jacob and Rebecca are two earth worms; 
 Solomon, a very fat guinea pig, who seems to have 
 a large number of companions; a tame crow he 
 calls John the Baptist, for he has a voice like one 
 crying in the wilderness; and a long, black snake 
 he calls Moses, for he makes frogs and insects to 
 disappear like the Egyptian Plagues. He loves to 
 have me play or sing to him, and sits perfectly 
 quietly all the time the music lasts. He draws 
 wonderfully well, and likes to design his animals 
 in all sorts of positions ; he has made a little theatre 
 where two little mice perform tricks. In the gar- 
 den he has a small house where he keeps his pets; 
 he calls it Noah's Ark, for there are many animals 
 within; birds, four-footed beasts and creeping 
 things. I have difficulty to overcome my repulsion 
 to insects when I enter it to please him, and it 
 does not smell agreeably. As he and I arise earlier 
 than the others, I often spend an hour with him 
 before breakfast as I did with Mischief; we also 
 ride horses unsaddled. 
 
 Poor little Mischief! I had a desolate letter 
 from her yesterday which I copy, for I was touched 
 thereby.
 
 94 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 MISCHIEF'S LETTER. 
 
 <c Darling Yvonne, 
 
 " You are gone three days, and three nights I 
 have cried myself asleep. I love you so as I can 
 never love any one else. I sit in your room and 
 try to imagine you are there. I kiss your pillow 
 and long for you until my heart feels like a squeezed 
 orange. I am very bad since you went, so every 
 one hates me more than ever. My new governess 
 has arrived. I loathe her. Please get married 
 quick; you love America so much you ought to 
 be able to love an American, and every one loves 
 you, except Nancy but then she's the limit ! The 
 Marquis is devoted to her again since you left. 
 If you marry, and you can bear to have me, I will 
 come and live with you. I should be so happy, 
 I should be very good, and I would play with your 
 little children. So please make haste for I am very 
 miserable. 
 
 " Evelyn had a gentleman stay with her ; a per- 
 fect corker; he was only here one night, and he 
 talked to me before dinner, so I showed him your 
 photograph; he was awfully interested, asked a 
 lot of questions and wanted to know just the day 
 you came here. I said you beat all my sisters 
 hollow, even Romola. I heard them say he was 
 an old beau of hers. She wore her duchess tiara
 
 BAR HARBOR 95 
 
 the other night at a ball given here for a German 
 Prince, a friend of Count Janos; she looked stun- 
 ning. As I was looking over the stairs I heard Hil- 
 liard Carrington tell her under a palm he loved 
 her. She took it very calmly, and called him poor, 
 dear old Milliard, and he went on making goo-goo 
 eyes at her, like that cousin of yours, Mr. Short, 
 made for you. Gosh ! he was fierce ! 
 
 " Count Janos saw me on the stairs and brought 
 me an ice. He said he was going to Bar Harbor 
 with his friend, and wanted to know if I had a 
 message for you. I said no one was strong enough 
 to carry all the weight of my love to you. He 
 laughed and told me to go on loving you, and when 
 I was grown up he would come and marry me him- 
 self. O ! dearest darling, I sometimes joke with peo- 
 ple, but when I 'm alone I cry." 
 
 Dear little Mischief ! I pity her so! If I marry 
 I will tell Mr. Lieutenant she must live with us, 
 and we can all chase thieving Indians together. 
 And now I will copy a letter I received from him 
 to-day which has annoyed me much. Men are 
 often so silly when they make great efforts to please, 
 and the poor Lieutenant has rendered himself very 
 absurd.
 
 96 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 LIEUTENANT'S LETTER. 
 "" Ma Aimee, 
 
 " A toi est adresse mon premiere effort dans 
 lettre-ecriture Francois. Tout a fait indigne de ton 
 lecture sans doute, mais comment suis-je digne de 
 toi dans aucun maniere. Je ai fermement resolve 
 de apprendre Francois, et quand je aurai maitrise 
 les principes de la langue, alors je entends etudier 
 Allemand, pourque un jour dans la future a le coin 
 de nos foyer, mon petite epouse et je, pouvons 
 jouir ensemble des litteratures de le vieil continent. 
 Je baise avec tendresse tes petit es douce s mains. 
 
 " Ton fidele adorateur." 
 
 Can my English have ever been so ridiculous 
 as his French? He fills me with impatience, and 
 I will demonstrate to him that I have also mastered 
 our slang and our manner of speech. 
 
 YVONNE'S LETTER. 
 " Dear Mr. Lieutenant, 
 
 " On receiving your letter I exclaimed myself : 
 Rats! for it is perfectly decayed of you to write 
 to me in French. It is limited ! it is fierce ! never 
 do it again and remember that the literatures of 
 Europe are to me old chestnuts! I am having a 
 corking time here ; Lily and her mother are peaches 
 and I have a date every morning with Tom in the
 
 BAR HARBOR 97 
 
 garden. He is Lily's brother, and he promenades 
 me in boats and on horses. I am so happy in the 
 present, I have little time to think of the future, 
 but I have made the project to have my Cousin 
 Mischief live with us, and she can help you to catch 
 Indians. You may not like this letter, in effect 
 in reading it over I think it is horrid ; but it is better 
 you should see I am not as nice as you think, for it 
 is not wise for people to marry themselves with 
 false impressions of each other. You consider me 
 too good, that renders me uncomfortable, for Oh ! 
 I have so many faults, you would shudder if I 
 enumerated them, and perhaps even renounce to 
 espouse me. When I am opposed I become like a 
 kicking mule, so please do not write to me in 
 French again. A French gentleman never gives 
 the ' thou ' to his fiancee, nor to his wife in public, 
 (although Germans and Italians do) ; it is not 
 chic to seem familiar. The bourgeoisie do, but 
 then perhaps we Americans are bourgeois, as we 
 have no nobility, I had not thought of that. 
 Abroad I only frequented Court Circles. Doctors, 
 lawyers, clergymen we met only in a business way. 
 I am sorry not to have better known persons who 
 lived by their intelligence; I am sure they must be 
 more interesting. 
 
 " Good-bye, dear Mr. Lieutenant, I did not ex- 
 pect to be away so long from my grandmother, and 
 7
 
 98 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 now I have less than a month to remain in America. 
 Oh! it splits my heart to think of it. Receive, I 
 pray you*, the expression of my best sentiments. 
 
 " YVONNE." 
 
 I never know how to sign myself but it seems 
 more natural to be formal. 
 
 I hear a carriage on the gravel avenue; my 
 window overlooks the entrance. There are two 
 gentlemen in one of those carriages they call here 
 buckboards. I recognize Count Janos and Oh ! 
 whom do I see? Prince Ulrich von Weissenberg! 
 Quickly! I must change my dress! . . . 
 
 Two hours later Angelique had discovered 
 who was downstairs and she was so excited she 
 could hardly fasten my dress. I found Mrs. Stuart 
 in the parlor talking French to the two Austrian 
 gentlemen. I shook hands with Janos in the Ameri- 
 can fashion, Prince Ulrich bowed to me. He spoke 
 little but looked at me much. Count Janos and Mrs. 
 Stuart were soon absorbed again in animated con- 
 versation. I asked Prince Ulrich with an innocent 
 expression, why he had come to America. 
 
 He " America interests Europeans very much." 
 
 I " Then I suppose you will travel all pver the 
 States to make a study of our country, and remain 
 at Bar Harbor a short time." 
 
 He " Bar Harbor interests me more at present 
 than all the States."
 
 BAR HARBOR 99 
 
 I blushed quite red, and to cover my confusion 
 I said rather boldly : 
 
 " Do you not think I have changed and become 
 quite grown up since you last saw me ? " 
 
 He " I observe you have become very Ameri- 
 can." 
 
 I " You have paid me the greatest compliment, 
 for I never wish to be thought anything else, and 
 my most ardent wish is to live. here all my life." 
 
 In answering him thus I felt all the excitement 
 one experiences at taking a high and difficult jump. 
 
 He rose and bowed to take leave. I noticed his 
 great height and his air of elegance. He is the type 
 of the high aristocrat. Count Janos looked sur- 
 prised that the visit was cut so short, and whispered 
 to me, " You have been as unkind to him as you 
 were to me." 
 
 Mrs. Stuart invited them both to a picnic on the 
 thirty-first. Janos accepted; the Prince simply ex- 
 pressed his thanks. Since they left I have felt a lit- 
 tle dull, as if I needed some excitement.
 
 XII 
 
 AUGUST ist. What a joy to be considered 
 agreeable and to be courted! How sorry I 
 am for the old maids, who have never received 
 attentions from men; who were never surrounded 
 by that delicious and intoxicating atmosphere of 
 admiration; and who have none of those dear little 
 vanities to color the recollection of their youth. 
 How pleasing it is to put on an indifferent expres- 
 sion, and seem not to care one's self, because one 
 is sure other people care so much. But I fancy 
 my mask is very transparent, for I do care so much 
 about people, and am terribly interested in all they 
 want to say. Lily says the reason I am a success, 
 is because I like everybody and find them charming. 
 Oh ! what a happiness to be young, and not ugly ; 
 I am very grateful to God for that, as therein I 
 have no merit, and it is so much easier for me to be 
 sweet and nice, than if I had a crooked nose and 
 were humpbacked. In truth people are kind and 
 the world is beautiful, and the minutes fly like birds 
 on the wing, merrily singing. I used to be sad 
 and notice more the shadows than the sunlight; 
 drops of falling water made me think of tears, 
 
 100
 
 BAR HARBOR 101 
 
 but now Oh, no! they sparkle like diamonds, and 
 a love for the whole universe possesses me so that 
 I should like to embrace it. The trees, the sky, 
 the sea, the breezes so gentle, the air so vivacious, 
 surround me with all their delights to render me 
 more joyous. When I pray at night, my lips can 
 only formulate little sounds of ecstacy and my heart 
 throbs with thankfulness. 
 
 How can I describe how I walk, and drive, and 
 dance, and play tennis, and swim, and canoe with 
 different persons. How all the hours of my day 
 seem not to suffice to fill the demands that are made 
 to them. When I was in Europe it took me pages 
 to describe one little rare moment of pleasure, and 
 now they succeed themselves with such rapidity that 
 with a few words only do I verify them. But the 
 picnic I will give in detail, because of the adven- 
 tures that arrived to me there. 
 
 It was yesterday. On awakening myself I ran 
 to the window to examine the weather. Towards 
 the sea there was a cloud of mist, but on the earth 
 the sun shone bravely. At eleven we assembled on 
 the wharf, a company of sixteen. Lily Stuart is a 
 marvelous hostess, she puts animation into all her 
 guests with her air of good humor and her amiable 
 manners. Prince Ulrich had decided to remain. 
 I have seen him every day, and I like him well, but 
 he has the appearance always a little austere as if 
 his surroundings did not interest him much.
 
 102 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 We started on our little steam yacht; the waves 
 were agitated, which rendered some people some- 
 what morose but without mis fortunate results. We 
 approached a ravishing island and landed in little 
 boats. I was enchanted that Lily had brought no 
 servants, for on such occasions they are only tire- 
 some guardians of decorum; thus we arranged 
 everything ourselves; the gentlemen made the fire 
 and the ladies unpacked the baskets, laid the cloth 
 and spread all the good things thereon. We eat 
 with a great appetite and were very gay. After 
 lunch we scattered two by two over the island. 
 
 I knew Prince Ulrich considered me his partner, 
 for he speaks not to the other young girls; he ren- 
 ders me very timid and so without his perceiving 
 me, I escaped with Bobby. Bobby is the young 
 man I met on the steamer, his surname is Smith; 
 he is very jolly, and not very old; he is a Senior 
 in the University of Harvard, and when I told him 
 I had believed Harvard and Yale to be two race- 
 horses, he first looked much scandalized at my 
 ignorance, and then rolled himself on the grass with 
 laughter. 
 
 We were sitting among pine trees, and we smoked 
 cigarettes, which gave us a feeling of comradeship 
 and of enjoying together a somewhat reprehensi- 
 ble sport. It is so nice to be just a little wicked ! 
 
 He likes to talk very much and I am always 
 glad to listen. He told me he was an orphan, and
 
 BAR HARBOR 103 
 
 an uncle called Herbert Dale had brought him up. 
 He grew quite enthusiastic and said : 
 
 " My Uncle Herbert is the best all round man 
 I have ever known; he is as straight as a die, kind, 
 good-natured, firm as a rock so you always know 
 where to find him. He is splendid at every game, 
 rides a horse like a Centaur, plays polo better than 
 any one, and he spends lots of money helping peo- 
 ple. I tell you what, he is perfectly fine ; ever since 
 I was a little chap, I passed all my vacations with 
 him, for after my parents died he looked after me, 
 and he 's my guardian." 
 
 " I wish I knew him," I said. " I suppose al- 
 though he is your uncle he is not an old gentleman? " 
 
 " No," answered Bobby, " he is sort of middle- 
 aged, between thirty and forty, but he has a lot of 
 endurance left; I guess he can beat me at pretty 
 nearly anything; and by Jove! he is a good sort; 
 -he has seen me through a lot of scrapes; yet would 
 you believe it, some people dislike him. I think 
 they 're afraid of him, for he can be awfully sar- 
 castic ; he does n't care much for society. He is 
 clever, you know, and dull people bore him and I 
 guess he lets them see it." 
 
 I then asked Bobby about his life at college, and 
 I was deeply interested to learn thus about the whole 
 existence of a young man. 
 
 " By Jove, Miss Carrington," he said, " if you 
 will only stay here, instead of going back in three
 
 104 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 weeks to that beastly old Europe, I will show you 
 all the sights of Cambridge, and next spring at 
 Class Day when I graduate, I '11 see to you hav- 
 ing the time of your life." 
 
 "Oh, but!" I said, "I should so love to stay, 
 but I cannot." 
 
 " Look here," he said, " if you got engaged, then 
 you would stay with your grandmother." 
 
 " But, no ! " I answered sadly, " being engaged 
 makes no difference." 
 
 " You bet it would," he said eagerly. " By Jove, 
 Miss Carrington, I have not known you so awfully 
 long, but long enough since the steamer to know 
 that I 'd be just the luckiest fellow on earth if you 
 if we well, if I was engaged to you, for I 
 am head over heels in love with you." 
 
 And he looked at me with such a nice, smiling 
 expression that I thought to be engaged to him 
 would not be so disagreeable; unfortunately one 
 cannot promise to be betrothed to two young men 
 at the same time ; it would not be honorable. 
 
 " I am extremely sorry," I said, " but I am al- 
 ready engaged." 
 
 It sounded as if I were refusing a waltz. He 
 jumped to his feet and looked more astonished than 
 sad. 
 
 " By Jove ! you are already engaged, and you 
 are only eighteen! Well! I might have known it" 
 
 " Please," I said, rising also, " speak not of it to
 
 BAR HARBOR 105 
 
 any one, for it is a secret, but I told you, so that 
 you should lose the desire to espouse me." 
 
 He looked at me a long moment; his expression 
 changed from an air of surprise to an air of sad- 
 ness, and I felt I should like to console him. 
 
 " Don't let your disappointment pain you too 
 much," I said gently. 
 
 "I shall never care for any one else," he said; 
 and I thought that surely he had not loved me so 
 greatly until he found he could not have me. 
 
 " Do you mind," he said, " if I leave you for a 
 bit, I just want to pull myself together." 
 
 " Yes, go," I said, " and do not desolate your- 
 self because of me. Later on you may meet a nice 
 young girl whom you can marry." 
 
 He shook his head and went off among the trees 
 while I wandered along the shore; there were big, 
 flat rocks that sloped into the water, and I found a 
 ravishing place just above them, where soft, green 
 moss stretched under the shade of pines. I sat 
 myself, glad to be alone, watching the sparkling 
 waves and plunged profoundly in my reflections. 
 
 How strange to feel that in the space of a month, 
 two charming young Americans had wanted to es- 
 pouse me, and I wondered who the third American 
 would be. If only I could be married at once and 
 not return to Europe, but I shall have to wait long 
 years for Mr. Lieutenant. I was perhaps a little 
 too hurried in accepting him, for I know now that
 
 io6 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 young people drive together alone without becom- 
 ing betrothed. 
 
 I sighed under the trees; the blue waves shone 
 beneath the great rocks; and I fell into a deep rev- 
 ery. Poems of Heine about love, and tears, and 
 death traversed my mind like whispering voices ; it 
 was warm in the sun and I think I fell asleep. 
 
 A cool shadow fell upon me and I opened my 
 eyes. Prince Ulrich stood gazing at me. I arose 
 quickly all confused; for in sleep, when the mind 
 does not hold guard over the face, it seems immod- 
 est to be watched. His expression was gentle and 
 kindly; different from what I had ever seen. We 
 conversed in German which I shall translate. 
 
 He " I sought you everywhere, mein Fraiilein. 
 I feared you had gone off like the other young 
 ladies with some young gentleman; instead, I had 
 the happiness to find you alone, slumbering beneath 
 the trees, and the song of Schuman flows from my 
 lips : ' Du bist wie eine Blume, so hold, so scJwn, 
 so rein.' '' He murmured the whole of it with an 
 accent so tender, that suddenly I felt steal over me 
 an emotion very soft. It must have been the effect 
 of my sleep, and to dispel it, I said laughing 
 lightly : 
 
 " I had never thought you were so poetic. Look 
 at that lovely little island opposite us. I am longing 
 to visit it; will you take me over there? I know 
 where the boats are attached."
 
 BAR HARBOR 107 
 
 He stiffened himself and said formally, " Cer- 
 tainly, if you wish it." 
 
 We strolled to the beach. Only one canoe was 
 left. Nobody was to be seen. I carefully got in 
 for I have discovered a canoe upsets like a 
 nutshell, and Prince Ulrich in entering nearly tipped 
 it over. He knew not how to paddle, but I had been 
 taught by three different young men, so I took place 
 in the stern. I found it a laborious task. I was 
 less skillful than I had imagined, but the tide and 
 the wind helped me; Prince Ulrich was silent; he 
 smoked cigarettes and watched me. I became very 
 fatigued, but naturally, without complaining, I pad- 
 dled on. After a very long time we reached the 
 little island. 
 
 Oh ! it was magnificent ! just a pedestal of rock 
 with the sea all around; in the center a pine tree 
 with moss at its feet; towards the open ocean we 
 saw on the horizon a great wall of fog, so we pre- 
 ferred the sunny side where we found an immense 
 rock, forming a platform, whereupon we did sit. 
 The sun was pleasantly warm, and the sky looked 
 as if it had drawn a thin, white veil over its surface. 
 My heart was light and I was gay. I think my 
 gaiety was contagious, for Prince Ulrich's formal 
 tone melted away, and he had the manner of one 
 who lets himself go to be agreeable, without con- 
 straint. 
 
 He told me about his wild boar park in Hungaria
 
 io8 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 and of some exciting hunts he had witnessed; of a 
 voyage he had taken to Persia, where he was the 
 guest of the Shah; then he related anecdotes about 
 the court of Franz Joseph, where he holds some 
 function, and never before had a man of the world 
 conversed with me with such freedom, and yet with 
 such an air of deference. 
 
 Oh, but yes! he was all that is most charming! 
 For a moment he was silent and I tried to play 
 ducks and drakes with flat pebbles as Tom had 
 taught me, but I stopped when the Prince spoke to 
 me again with a new gravity in his voice. 
 
 He " You must know, Fraiilein Yvonne, why I 
 have come to this country. Since I saw you last 
 spring in Berlin, I have wished to .have you for my 
 wife. I have your parents' consent, and their per- 
 mission to seek yours." 
 
 I " Oh ! Prince Ulrich, you were not then told 
 that my grandmother gives me no dowry? " 
 
 He " Yes, your mother has told me, that for 
 the present you have no fortune, but that has not 
 made my mind to change; and if we can not live 
 in the great state I should have wished, yet I can 
 offer you an easy life and I hope a happy one. You 
 have bewitched me, Yvonne. I think of you day 
 and night." 
 
 I "Oh, but Prince Ulrich," I said, my voice 
 trembling a little, for at last I understood that he 
 really loved me, " I can only marry an American.
 
 BAR HARBOR 109 
 
 I love my country as you do yours; you would die 
 for yours, so would I for mine; all these years of 
 my youth where I have been an exile, my love for 
 it has grown and grown, like the deep roots of a 
 tree, which cannot be torn and transplanted with- 
 out being killed. Soon I must return to Europe, 
 but then later I shall return to America, to stay for- 
 ever." 
 
 He, quite tenderly " Mem susses Madel, my 
 sweet girl, you are still very young, and you are 
 impressionable as a child ; your feelings will change, 
 and remember a woman's country as well as her 
 name, when she marries, is her husband's." 
 
 I " That is why I must marry an American, 
 and then you forget I am grown up now; I am a 
 woman, and I know whom I must love and where 
 I must live." 
 
 He " I will not reason with you now, but I 
 shall wait and this Autumn at the Imperial Ma- 
 noeuvre we shall meet again, and you may relent ; I 
 assure you, it is the first time I have ever pleaded 
 thus with a young girl." 
 
 I " Do not think that I am not fully aware 
 of the honor you are doing me, and I have all the 
 feeling for you which would be required of a Ger- 
 man young girl ; I fear you a little, I respect you 
 much and admire you sufficiently, but I shall not 
 change my mind, and you will find me the same at 
 the Imperial Manoeuvre as I am on this tiny island."
 
 no AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 (For some secret reason I did not tell him I was 
 engaged; perhaps I wanted something exciting to 
 look forward to in the autumn.) 
 
 He gazed at me long and searchingly and I re- 
 turned his look straight in the eyes, although I felt 
 myself redden. He bit his moustache and with his 
 air of superb assurance he said : 
 
 " I shall wait ; my desire is stronger than your 
 obstinacy." 
 
 The air had grown cold and damp ; he arose and 
 looked at his watch and said : " It is after six 
 o'clock ; we must return at once ; for although young 
 people here are left strangely alone together, I would 
 not for the world and for all the pleasure I have 
 of being with you awaken the slightest misappre- 
 hension." 
 
 I " We Americans have no evil thoughts con- 
 cerning young girls ; they are safe from all scandal 
 and all blame." 
 
 He, ironically " You are very proud of your 
 countrymen's faith or credulity, which I prefer not 
 to tax. Besides it is growing dark rapidly and the 
 fog is surrounding us." 
 
 We hastened to where we had left our canoe; it 
 was not to be seen! The tide had risen greatly 
 and the wind swept sideways over the island, bring- 
 ing the fog with it, and we were soon enveloped in 
 its chilly embrace. Faintly we could see in the dis- 
 tance the picnic island and the yacht, but as we
 
 Ill 
 
 gazed they became more and more indistinct, and 
 we surely could not be seen at all. We shouted, 
 but our voices, thickened by the fog, seemed to drop 
 at our feet. Prince Ulrich was agitated and said : 
 
 " I am accustomed to the Adriatic and the Med- 
 iterranean where the tide hardly rises; I wonder 
 how much more of this island the water covers, 
 but do not be frightened." 
 
 I " I am never frightened, and if they do not 
 find us to-night they will find us to-morrow morn- 
 ing; the only thing is, we shall be very hungry." 
 
 He, more agitated " That must not be that we 
 spend the night here. I shall swim to shore." 
 
 I, seizing his arm " Oh ! that must you not do ; 
 you will drown; the water is like ice; no, we must 
 talk and be cheerful, and try to keep warm." (I 
 shivered as I spoke, for my dress was very thin; 
 my coat I had left on the yacht.) 
 
 He " You plucky girl ! yes, we shall make the 
 best of it," and taking off his coat he forced me to 
 wear it notwithstanding my protests. 
 
 The tide was rising over the rocks ; we withdrew 
 to the solitary tree where the moss gave us assur- 
 ance the waves would not reach us, and drawing my 
 arm through his, he walked me up and down. He 
 recalled incidents at Berlin, spoke of people we 
 knew, and tried valiantly to entertain me, but I 
 could discern he was anxious, for he often stopped 
 to listen; no sound reached our ear except the
 
 112 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 splash of the waves, and sometimes a sea hawk 
 screeched overhead. 
 
 I became fatigued and asked him to let me rest: 
 he spread his waistcoat beneath the tree; the air 
 was like a wet sheet, and I begged him to put his 
 coat over both of our shoulders; at first he would 
 not, walked up and down, but I said I should be 
 warmer if he sat beside me, so at last he consented, 
 and like the lost babes in the wood we huddled 
 together in the moss. 
 
 I had never divined how kind and gentle he could 
 be. He warmed my hands, by rubbing them gently, 
 then held them in one of his, while he held with the 
 other the sleeves of the coat, and as I leaned against 
 him I wished he had been an American; but no, 
 why should I wish thus ? am I not already betrothed ? 
 and for the second time that day the thought which 
 before had made me to smile, made me to sigh; and 
 then I followed the impulse which came with a sud- 
 den idea. 
 
 " Prince Ulrich," I whispered, " why could you 
 not do, what so many English lords did long ago, 
 settle in this country and become an American ? " 
 
 " I ! " he exclaimed, " I, an Hungarian Magnate 
 become an American citizen! little Yvonne, you are 
 mad." 
 
 " You wanted me to abandon my nation, why 
 should you not abandon yours ? " 
 
 " Ach! there is no comparison. I repeat, a
 
 BAR HARBOR 113 
 
 woman's country is her hearth and home, but we 
 will not speak now of such matters; if only," he 
 continued, " I could make a signal to draw their 
 attention, for they must be searching for us. This 
 is terrible." 
 
 I wondered that a man who had been in so many 
 perils should be so anxious. After that we re- 
 mained silent ; it was dark ; no sound could we hear, 
 but I felt not afraid. 
 
 Thus the hours passed, gliding one into the other, 
 with nothing to divide them, and we remained cold, 
 damp and hungry, but comforted by each other's 
 warmth and presence. We thought the night far 
 advanced, and were watching for the dawn, when 
 suddenly a deep voice near us calling Hullo ! 
 Hullo! made us jump to our feet. 
 
 We shouted as loudly as we could. Then the 
 same voice seemed to come from another direction. 
 Again we answered, but to our cries we received 
 no response. 
 
 " They are calling us through a megaphone," said 
 Prince Ulrich. 
 
 Again we shouted, and through the fog appeared 
 a vacillating flame ; a man yelled, " Where are 
 you?" 
 
 " On a little island, right here," we answered, 
 and we saw the fantastic shapes of men rising 
 through the mist holding torches, and a boat scraped 
 the rock. 
 8
 
 U4 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 We ran forward and Count Janos and Bobby 
 sprang to meet us. 
 
 " We thought you were drowned and lost," they 
 said. 
 
 Janos embraced Prince Ulrich and I think Bobby 
 embraced me. We told them as they rowed us 
 away what had happened to us, and presently we 
 heard the fog horn from the yacht and saw lights 
 flashing to guide us. We were received on board 
 with shouts of delight ; all the young girls did kiss 
 me, and Lily Stuart was nearly hysteric with joy, 
 for they had really been very anxious. We discov- 
 ered it was only ten o'clock, which surprised us 
 much, as we had thought the night nearly over. 
 
 I sat down to supper in warm clothes the young 
 girls gave me, and Prince Ulrich looked very funny 
 in a seaman's jersey; but he had become solemn 
 again. 
 
 I was given champagne, and we were all very 
 jolly; but when we landed on the quay at midnight 
 we were encountered by worried parents, who were 
 not jolly but very cross, for they had waited several 
 hours for our return, and who, after we had ex- 
 plained what had happened, seemed to think it very 
 silly that I should have been lost on an island in 
 the fog. 
 
 I notice people's points of view are so different!
 
 XIII 
 
 AUGUST 2nd. Yesterday morning I felt happy 
 when I wrote the long account of my adven- 
 ture. I had slept ten hours; my heart was gay; it 
 even amused me to think that at my will I could 
 be called either Mrs. Lieutenant Joseph Hill or 
 Mrs. Bobby Smith, or lastly Princess Ulrich von 
 Weissenberg; that is a very high name, but a true 
 American does not feel honored by titles. 
 
 And so I was lightly turning matters over in my 
 mind as I sat in the afternoon in the garden, trying 
 to read about our Civil War; my ideas would not 
 work over the bloody battles; they felt like butter- 
 flies put into a bee-hive and told to produce honey; 
 thus I was making great and useless efforts to ab- 
 sorb myself in history, when I saw Prince Ulrich ad- 
 vancing down the garden path. His expression was 
 so serious I wanted to run away, but I remembered 
 my grandfather had fought in the war, and I must 
 not be unworthy of him. 
 
 Prince Ulrich kissed my hand as if I were a 
 married lady, and sat down near me. 
 
 I began talking with vivacity of the ball I was 
 going to that evening, but he interrupted me as 
 if he had nothing heard. 
 
 "5
 
 u6 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " I have come to very earnestly speak with you. 
 You must realize, of course, that after the hours we 
 spent alone on that island last night I am expected 
 as an honorable man, by your friends and everyone 
 you know to make you my wife." 
 
 " Oh ! but certainly no," I protested. 
 
 " Hush," he said, as if I were an impatient child, 
 " a little thought on your part will make clear to 
 you, that what will be my greatest happiness is 
 imposed upon you as a necessity, and, my dear 
 Yvonne, I cannot feel it ought to be so difficult for 
 me to dispel your childish objections ; I thought last 
 night you showed confidence in me, did you not?" 
 
 "Yes," I admitted, "but" 
 
 " You said," he continued, " that you respected 
 and esteemed me; from a worldly point of view, I 
 offer nothing unworthy of you." 
 
 " I assure you," I hastened to say, " I am deeply 
 honored, but " 
 
 " And what do you oppose to my suit ? " he went 
 on in the same calm manner " patriotic feelings 
 for a country you have only known a few weeks, 
 whose history, I observe, you are trying to learn; 
 but I can inflame your fancy with tales of my Fa- 
 therland that can equal yours; we Hungarians have 
 also struggled for home and liberty; in marrying 
 me you will bear the name of heroes who have 
 fallen as sacrifice to their country, your children 
 will make you the proud mother of warriors and
 
 BAR HARBOR 117 
 
 patriots, and then, can you not comprehend that all 
 these things ought to fade in a young girl's mind in 
 comparison to the deep affection and exalted de- 
 sire which I consecrate to you ? I love you so much ; 
 your sweet innocence, your spirit of pride, your 
 fearlessness and every girlish charm I adore; tell 
 me in truth would it be so difficult for you to care 
 for me a little ? " 
 
 I hardly dared raise my eyes to his " I care for 
 you very much," I whispered, " but " 
 
 " That is sufficient," he said with a glad accent. 
 " I am sure I can make you love me; you are so 
 young a creature, that life is still a closed book to 
 you, and no other man but me can as yet have 
 turned the leaves to open even the first page. You 
 require a strong man to guide and shield you, and 
 tenderly care for you; Yvonne, tell me that I am 
 the one to whom you will trust yourself ; for surely 
 you are to be my treasure, my bride." 
 
 " Oh, Prince Ulrich," I cried, " it is terribly sad, 
 but I am not free ; I am already betrothed." 
 
 He rose to his feet, a flush of anger spread over 
 his face, then he became very pale. 
 
 " You have played with me," he said ; " you have 
 deceived me." 
 
 " No, I have not," I answered, my courage re- 
 turning, and I arose also, drawing myself up to my 
 full height. " I have told you since the beginning 
 I would not marry you, that I should only marry
 
 u8 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 an American. You would not believe me; that is 
 not my fault." 
 
 " And may I inquire," he said, his voice sounding 
 like a steel sabre cutting off people's heads, " the 
 name of the American on whom you have bestowed 
 your hand ? " 
 
 " I am engaged to an officer of the United States 
 Army ! " As for the first time I made this clear 
 statement, the sense of the words struck me as 
 false, and my heart seemed to deny my declaration ; 
 a great doubt and unhappiness took possession of 
 me, yet I felt I was carrying a banner I had prom- 
 ised to bear, and I must be true to my colors, 
 at least while the fight and struggle lasted. 
 
 Prince Ulrich looked at me coldly for a moment. 
 I felt the color come and go in my face, but I 
 lowered not my head and looked him in the eyes. 
 Then he bowed low with a sort of ironical defer- 
 ence, saying: 
 
 " Allow me to take leave of the future Frau 
 Generalin of the Army of the United States of 
 America," and turning he walked down the path. 
 
 I saw, through the bitter sarcasm of his farewell, 
 how deeply wounded he was, in his pride and his 
 affection; and so I took not amiss his words, but 
 I felt grieved, oh! so grieved. 
 
 He reached the little gate at the end of the path 
 leading to the high road, and following my impulse 
 of remorse, that by me he should suffer, I ran after
 
 BAR HARBOR 119 
 
 him. He stopped, but did not turn his head. I 
 laid my hand on his arm and stood before him 
 with tears in my eyes. 
 
 " Prince Ulrich," I stammered, " I may never 
 see you again, and I do not want you to leave 
 with anger and bitterness against me. I meant no 
 harm; I thought I had told you no, so plainly, and 
 how could I have ever thought you would love me 
 thus greatly." 
 
 He looked at me then and smiled with a sadness 
 that I could hardly support. 
 
 " Dear Prince Ulrich," I continued, " if I could 
 have imagined this, I would have told you the first 
 day I was not free, although, then no one else knew 
 it. Please be not longer angry with me, for I like 
 you much, very much, and you see we resemble each 
 other, too, for we both so love our own countries 
 and we are both proud ; will you not say before 
 you go that you forgive me and will not think 
 bitterly of me? I pray you do, for I am so un- 
 happy." 
 
 As I looked up at him two big tears rolled down 
 my cheek. 
 
 " Mein susses Liebling," he murmured, as he 
 gazed at me, " my sweet darling, I am not angry 
 with you. And can I forgive you for being lov- 
 able? You are everything I most wanted my wife 
 to be, and fairer than I could ever have imagined, 
 so hold, so schon, so rein. I think not, that I shall
 
 120 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 love another, but I wish you all that is excellent 
 and beautiful. May the man you have chosen be 
 good and strong, and watch over you, as I had 
 so fervently hoped to do myself, and keep you from 
 all harm," and as if he were blessing me, he softly 
 said, " Behilt dich Gott," and rapidly he walked 
 away. 
 
 I watched him as he went a noble, martial 
 figure ; and then I turned back into the garden and 
 hid myself and wept.
 
 THE SETTLEMENT
 
 XIV 
 
 AUGUST 5th. The scene has changed ! Instead 
 of the beautiful, cool Mt. Desert, I am now 
 in a stifling hot little house in the poor quarter 
 of Boston. I am staying with my cousin, Evelyn 
 King, and following her about in her Settlement 
 work. 
 
 The last day at Bar Harbor I felt all different 
 from myself; dear Mrs. Stuart fussed over me, 
 thinking I was suffering from the effects of my 
 adventure in the fog, but no! what disturbed me 
 was my experience so grave with Prince Ulrich. 
 He left that same night and I shall probably never 
 see him again, and in my heart I feel many varied 
 emotions. I have lost part of my youth fulness, for 
 I must be quite a woman if a man like him wants 
 to make of me his wife. I contemplate myself in 
 my mirror to observe if I have visibly changed, 
 and why such three different men want to marry 
 me. I look into my own serious eyes, and they 
 give me no answer, and as I gaze my lips smile 
 back at me, for questioning them so curiously. No, 
 I do not understand! Life is mysterious! Why 
 must human beings create so many difficulties in 
 
 123
 
 124 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 their affairs of the heart? I see the little butter- 
 flies gaily chase each other in couples, and the doves 
 that fondly mate, whereas men and women are 
 tormented by their love. A month ago I had not 
 thought of such things and now I so continually 
 search my heart But it is foolishness to think so 
 much of myself, rather will I inscribe what I am 
 doing. 
 
 I left Lily Stuart with great regret; she has be- 
 come my most intimate friend; although of my 
 proposals I did not speak to her. By silence, a 
 young girl must respect a man's love. 
 
 Tom, as a parting gift, gave me Israel, his favor- 
 ite toad, and said, " Please keep him and love him 
 for my sake." 
 
 I have such a horror of toads, and yet Tom's 
 affection for the creature and his sacrifice in giving 
 it ought to make me like it. Tom said, " He will 
 be a quiet pet. I had thought of a rat, or a rabbit, 
 or a guinea pig, but they would so easily run away, 
 and Israel can only hop a short bit. I have put 
 him in a Maillard candy box with a few little bugs 
 for the journey." 
 
 I do not think it a very convenient present. 
 
 Cousin Henry Short appeared at Bar Harbor, the 
 day before I left, to escort me to West Point; he 
 asked my forgiveness for his rudeness at Newport, 
 and said he had written three letters which he had 
 torn up, and at last had decided to come himself,
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 125 
 
 to make his peace. Oh! but how he bores me; and 
 he smiles all the time to render himself agreeable. 
 Lily Stuart said he was like an afternoon tea, a 
 necessary drudgery of society to be endured for 
 the sake of other amusements. If he talks not to 
 me himself, he stands and watches me talk to others, 
 which is most exasperating, but I have had my little 
 revenge : I informed him in the train that I was so 
 glad he was going all straight to West Point, for 
 then he could take Angelique there, for I was to 
 stop two days in Boston. Of course, in a Settle- 
 ment, Evelyn had told me, there was no place for 
 a French maid, and I had written to tell my grand- 
 mother he would take care of Angelique. He was 
 furious, and went off to smoke. 
 
 Count Janos, who was on the train, immediately 
 took his chair; he was like always very amusing, 
 and said he was spending the next day in Boston, 
 and would take me out in his automobile. 
 
 When Cousin Henry returned, he saw the Mail- 
 lard box, and thinking it contained sweets opened it 
 to offer me some. Israel fell out and the little insects 
 flew around ; Israel hopped onto Angelique's foot, 
 who began to scream most fearfully ; I could not 
 help laughing, and Janos was simply convulsed with 
 amusement, and everybody in the carriage was 
 aroused. Naturally, for all the world I would not 
 touch the toad, and so Cousin Henry had to catch 
 him, but Israel hopped about with much energy,
 
 126 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 and finally took refuge under an old lady's skirt, 
 who made little squeaks of fright, while Cousin 
 Henry repeated, " Madam it is not a mouse." 
 Finally, he captured the poor beast. He was in a 
 rage and said he could not understand a young 
 lady traveling with such creatures ; and he went off 
 to smoke again; so, after all, Israel rendered me a 
 good service, in ridding me a long moment of that 
 tiresome man. 
 
 At the station in Boston Evelyn met me, and I 
 bade good-bye, with a great deal of joy, to Cousin 
 Henry and Angelique, who thus were forced to 
 pursue the journey together. 
 
 Evelyn and I drove in a cab through very dismal 
 streets; it was night, and I noticed that only the 
 public houses were gay and brightly illuminated, so 
 I was not surprised they were so crowded. I 
 thought I saw some tipsy men, and they frighten 
 me much. 
 
 I asked Evelyn about her headaches and she said 
 she had too much to do to think about them. She 
 is much more cheerful here than at Newport. 
 
 The house where she lives is small and very sim- 
 ply furnished. There are two other Residents, as 
 they call them: one a Doctoress and the other a 
 Kindergarten teacher ; they had pleasant, quiet man- 
 ners, and I liked them for consecrating their lives 
 to charity, without the satisfaction of wearing a 
 nun's pretty costume, which is so becoming.
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 127 
 
 After a little supper, I went to bed; many queer 
 city noises penetrated through the open window, 
 but I soon dropped asleep and heard no more. 
 
 Evelyn awakened me at seven, for at half -past 
 seven they breakfast, and they have only one servant, 
 so everything has to be very regular. The Resi- 
 dents dress very simply. I looked a little queer 
 in a flowered silk muslin. I had only a tiny little 
 box with me and I had forgotten to tell Angelique 
 to put in simple raiments; it was very hot and this 
 was my only thin frock. Evelyn told me I had 
 better not go about alone; and at eight we started 
 together, as I wanted to see how the poor live in 
 America. 
 
 The first family we visited lived in a cellar; the 
 beds were not made, and everything was in dis- 
 order, and the children wore hardly any clothes. 
 Evelyn told the woman to open the window, but 
 she said, as it was on a level with the street, every- 
 one could look right in, and winter and summer for 
 the sake of decency they kept it mostly shut. She 
 said : 
 
 " I know, Mum, we lives like pigs, but we can't 
 afford no better rooms; my man has rheumatiz of 
 the back, and my Susan was took awful bad with 
 cramps so they had to send the ambulance for her, 
 and they cut something out of her stomick, and so 
 Tom just gets enough to keep us along by selling 
 newspapers."
 
 128 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 "How old is Tom?" I asked. 
 
 " Well, dearie, he 's going on ten ; he 's strong 
 enough if he 's got food in his stomick, although it 
 does go awful hard gettin' him out of bed before 
 there 's no light to fetch his newspapers, and there 's 
 times he don't get home till near midnight Gettin' 
 no sleep, I guess, will stunt his growth, and them 
 poor cratures," pointing to two small children, 
 " them goes at the peril of their lives to pick up 
 bits of coal on the track; sure they'll be brought 
 back to me dead some day, and me with no insur- 
 ance to bury them dacent." 
 
 The woman began wiping her eyes on her dirty 
 apron. It tightened my heart to hear of such pov- 
 erty, and taking out a twenty dollar bill from my 
 purse, I gave it to the woman; she looked at it and 
 then half sobbing said : 
 
 " The Lord bless your pretty face and your kind 
 heart; sure ye are the only lady I've met who took 
 pity on the poor folk," (this was said with a re- 
 proachful look at Evelyn) " and this will pay for 
 a white casket for one of them poor cratures." 
 
 " But," I said, " please buy coal with it so that 
 the children shall not be exposed to the peril of 
 being crushed." 
 
 "Just as you say, dearie; anything to plase you." 
 
 At that moment a man came in from the back 
 room, with only an undershirt and trousers on; he 
 spoke in a gruff, cross voice :
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 129 
 
 " What 's the rumpus ? Just some of them vis- 
 itors who come round to jaw and advise poor folk 
 instead of helping them, and prevent a man from 
 sleeping, who's been workin' all night." 
 
 He looked so menacing I was frightened, but 
 Evelyn went right up to him and said quietly: 
 
 " You are master in your own house, Mr. Cos- 
 tello, and if you tell me not to return I sha'n't, 
 but I had some work I thought your wife could 
 do/' 
 
 " Well," said the man in a surly tone, " I ain't 
 no objection if you give her work to do, and lave 
 me in peace," and he slouched out of the kitchen. 
 
 " Mrs. Costello," said Evelyn, " I have two dozen 
 towels for you to hem, if you will come for them 
 at the Home ; we pay five cents a towel ; and I shall 
 go and see Susan at the hospital." 
 
 The woman thanked her and begged me to come 
 again; she accompanied us to the black corridor 
 from which some broken steps led right up onto 
 the street. 
 
 The sun was baking the pavement and I felt as 
 if I could hardly draw a full breath. Evelyn was 
 silent until I questioned her about the Costellos. 
 She told me the man was a drunkard, and the wife 
 drank, too, sometimes, and neglected the children. 
 
 "Did I do wrongly in giving her money?" I 
 asked. 
 
 " It was unwise," answered Evelyn; " if he finds 
 9
 
 130 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 it out he will beat her to get it, and I think in 
 either case, it will go for drink." 
 
 " But then," I said, " how can you help the poor 
 if you don't give them money? " 
 
 " We try," said Evelyn, " to furnish them work 
 to earn their living; we try to strengthen their moral 
 sense, and, by living among them as neighbors, we 
 give them opportunities for amusement, instruction 
 and rest." 
 
 I listened to Evelyn with much respect for her 
 wisdom, and I admired her courage in confronting 
 Mr. Costello. We then entered another house, and 
 climbed to the top; the stairs were dark, and smelt 
 of all sorts of horrid things. Evelyn knocked at 
 a door; a little boy in a torn undershirt opened it. 
 We entered a small room. There was a big bed 
 in which a woman lay and two babies crawled be- 
 side her; one was crying and the other was sucking 
 a comb. 
 
 The whole place was steaming with wet clothes 
 which hung on a cord stretched between the window 
 and the stove, where fish, onions and cabbages were 
 cooking. A man sat eating at a table, and paid 
 no attention to us. A girl of twelve, who was 
 washing in a wooden tub, came forward and wiping 
 a chair offered it to Evelyn; but Evelyn made me 
 sit down while she stood by the bed, seeming not 
 to notice the terrible odor and dirt.
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 131 
 
 " I brought you a few grapes and oranges, Mrs. 
 Homer," she said in a cheerful, pleasant voice, " and 
 how is your asthma to-day ? " 
 
 " Awful bad, Miss," answered the woman gasp- 
 ing for breath ; " I don't get no air at all when the 
 washin' 's bein' done, and this hot spell has made 
 us all sick." 
 
 " I '11 brush your hair and wash your face and 
 you '11 feel fresher," said Evelyn, while she got 
 water in a basin and took the comb from the baby 
 and gave it some grapes instead. " It is all ar- 
 ranged, the children are going to the Farm to- 
 morrow, and I '11 have a tent put on the roof where 
 you can sleep and remain during the day." 
 
 The man spoke for the first time, " We were 
 near stifled last night, and it kills my appetite livin' 
 in sich a place." 
 
 " You will be more comfortable when the bed is 
 in the fresh air." 
 
 " There ain't no fresh air round these parts," 
 said the man. 
 
 " Say, Miss," gasped the woman, " you don't 
 want me to sleep on the roof because you thinks I 
 have consumption? I don't want to go to no hos- 
 pital ; I wants to stay at home." 
 
 " The doctor," said Evelyn, " told you you had 
 asthma and we hope you will get well soon." 
 
 I tried to speak to the little boy who stood star-
 
 132 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ing at me, but he would not answer. Oh, what a 
 difference between him and happy Tom at Bar Har- 
 bor! 
 
 Evelyn and I visited several more families; it 
 was everywhere so hot, so hot that I longed for 
 a plunge in the cool ocean. We went to see some 
 Italians who were very clean and tidy, and smiled 
 all the time, although the man was in bed with a 
 crushed leg, and they were delighted to have me 
 talk Italian to them. The last person we went to 
 was an old blind woman, who lived all by herself, 
 and was cheerful and loved flowers; we took her 
 some geraniums. She said that smelling them 
 made her see all the lovely gardens she had known 
 in her youth, in Scotland. Evelyn read to her, the 
 Bible, while I tried to keep the flies off my face. 
 I whispered to Evelyn, to know if I might offer 
 to have fly screens put in for her. Evelyn said I 
 might, and the old woman was so pleased, and thus 
 I knew there was one thing I could give the poor 
 people, for I had noticed what a plague the flies 
 were in all the tenements I visited. 
 
 I was so hot and tired when we got home I could 
 eat no lunch; and then I lay down, while Evelyn 
 went off to a meeting at the Neighborhood House, 
 a big, brick building she showed me close by, with 
 large rooms for entertainments and social work. 
 Towards four I got up, and I remembered that
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 133 
 
 Israel had not been taken out of the Maillard box. 
 I ran out into the street; it was still boiling hot. 
 I saw a few children playing in the gutter where 
 there was a little moisture. 
 
 I opened the box and the toad at once jumped out ; 
 the children surrounded it, they had never seen a 
 toad; I wanted to feed it but there was no grass. 
 An Italian fruit vender passed by. I bought a head 
 of lettuce for Israel and a lot of oranges and 
 bananas for all the children of the quarter who had 
 gathered about me, like a flock of sparrows. At 
 that moment I heard the horn of an automobile, 
 and a big, red car stopped in the middle of the 
 street. Count Janos jumped out and came towards 
 me saying in his manner so gay, 
 
 "If to the hungry you give good things, the 
 rich shall not go empty away. I have come to carry 
 you off for a little promenade " 
 
 " Oh, I am so glad to go," I said, " I have not 
 been here twenty- four hours yet, but I am dying for 
 fields and green grass." 
 
 " It is the only cool thing to do in this torrid 
 atmosphere. I see you have released Israel." 
 
 " But no," I said, " I must keep him for Tom's 
 sake," and I begged one of the boys to put him into 
 the Maillard box for me. 
 
 Then we got into the auto it was a great, big 
 Panhard but it made me chagrined not to take
 
 134 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 all the children with me, they looked so wistful; 
 happiness cannot be complete when you leave peo- 
 ple behind, so I said to Count Janos : 
 
 " If you take me, you must take some of these 
 children; the tonneau will hold ten; the ten oldest, 
 for little children are sometimes a source of trouble." 
 
 Count Janos looked uncertain but he is amiable, 
 and I was decided. By that time the whole popula- 
 tion was at their windows giving me advice as to 
 whom to take. I was heart broken to refuse so 
 many, and I had to console myself with the happy 
 faces of those who went. The Italian fruit man 
 helped me to get the children seated. As we started 
 he called out, 
 
 " Arrivederla, Signorina, bella passegiata!" and 
 he looked as pleased as if he were going himself. 
 
 Oh! it was delicious traversing rapidly through 
 the air, and to leave the sun-baked streets behind; 
 and the children were quiet and good. 
 
 Count Janos was busy driving the machine, so 
 for once he could not talk much ; as we reached the 
 country, I looked upon all the sweet, green nature 
 as if I had been parted from it for long years. We 
 stopped at a little wayside place, and gave the 
 children ices; Janos and I went and sat at a little 
 table, and eat ours; imagine my doing such a thing 
 in Europe! although twenty eyes of children fixed 
 upon us ought to be sufficient chaperons, but still it 
 was quite an escapade, as no one knew where I was.
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 135 
 
 Then we were forced to return; Janos was going 
 back to Newport by a late train, and thus our party 
 of pleasure drew to its end. The brick houses, 
 the dusty streets seemed worse than ever, and as 
 Janos and his car vanished, I looked upon them 
 regretfully. But oh! how weak of me, for is it 
 not my choice to be here? and only for two days? 
 and one day is already over.
 
 XV 
 
 AUGUST 6th. It was so hot last night I slept 
 riot at all, and I heard babies wailing, and 
 people scolding all night long. 
 
 At eight o'clock I was told to help the Kinder- 
 garten lady to take twenty children to the train. 
 It was not the same thing as going in an automo- 
 bile. Oh, but no! we had to divide into two elec- 
 tric trams, and I was afraid that the children would 
 fall out; one little boy's hat blew off, and one 
 little girl dropped her doll and began to weep as 
 the conductor would not stop for it, and one child 
 said it was always car-sick, which made me very 
 nervous. One little boy asked me if cows eat 
 green grass why their milk was not green, for 
 when he eat strawberries he became red all over 
 his face and many other strange questions they 
 asked. At last we arrived at the station, where 
 the children and the Kindergartner took the train 
 for the Farm. I am glad I don't have to look after 
 twenty children in a hot train; and after losing my 
 way once or twice, I finally got back to the Settle- 
 ment; then I went and ordered fly screens for sev- 
 eral people, and when I had paid for them I had 
 
 136
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 137 
 
 only seven dollars and twenty-five cents left in my 
 purse. 
 
 At lunch, I found on the table a letter from my 
 grandmother, enclosing one from Cousin Carolina 
 Short, inviting me to stay with her at Lenox for a 
 few days. My grandmother said she wished me 
 to go; it was very hot now on the Hudson, and 
 Lenox was a beautiful place in the hills I ought 
 to see, and it would not be polite to refuse. I did 
 not want to go; I was tired and homesick for my 
 grandmother; and if Cousin Carolina is like her 
 brother, Cousin Henry, I shall not like her; but I 
 had to obey, and I telegraphed to-day to Cousin 
 Carolina I would come to-morrow afternoon. Thus 
 my twenty-five cents were gone. I have never 
 counted money so carefully. 
 
 At three o'clock Evelyn and I went together to 
 the hospital to visit Susan Costello. I had never 
 been in a hospital, and the idea frightened me, for 
 I feared to see all sorts of dreadful diseases. We 
 entered a long room, with beds on either side; it 
 looked very clean, and the women lay quietly, with- 
 out displaying their infirmities, so my dread dis- 
 appeared, and my interest in all these poor sick peo- 
 ple grew. 
 
 Susan Costello was a nice looking girl, and 
 seemed pleased to see Evelyn; as they talked to- 
 gether I looked about the room. In a bed oppo- 
 site I observed a young girl with long, blond
 
 138 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 tresses. I smiled at her and she at me ; she moved 
 her hand, and a book fell off the bed ; I went to 
 pick it up, and I noticed it was a German Bible. 
 
 " Are you German ? " I asked. 
 
 " Yes, Miss," she answered. 
 
 And thus I spoke to her in German, and all her 
 face lighted with pleasure. Although she had pink 
 cheeks, she appeared to me very delicate; her eyes 
 were blue, and she looked no older than me. Her 
 voice was a little hoarse, and I drew up a chair so 
 that we could converse. I asked her about herself ; 
 she told me her name was Anna Engel, that she was 
 the daughter of a German pastor, and that she was 
 a nursery governess. 
 
 " How come you in the hospital ? " I asked. 
 
 " Ach, Fraulein, I broke my arm falling down 
 the stairs, and " here tears came into her eyes, 
 " and the doctor says I am beginning tuberculosis 
 of the lungs and that I ought to live out of doors 
 in a high region; but how can I, I must earn my 
 bread." 
 
 " Oh," I said, " that is terrible ! you must be well 
 and strong first. Have you no friends or relations 
 who can help you ? " 
 
 " I am a stranger in America," she answered, 
 " I came here all alone." 
 
 " Were you not afraid ? " I asked. 
 
 "Ach ya," she answered, "I was afraid, but I 
 had to come. I am the oldest of eight children
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 139 
 
 and so I must help my parents; at seventeen I had 
 my diploma, and I traveled to America to earn 
 my bread. I could not speak English, and the 
 sea was so agitated, and all the people were to me 
 so strange; but it had to be; through the German 
 Church in New York I found a place as governess 
 to six children at the sea-shore, near Boston. But 
 American children are different from ours, and the 
 lady said I was not able to manage them ; the day 
 she dismissed me I broke my arm, and now I know 
 not what I shall do. Ach ya! Fraulein, life is not 
 very gay." 
 
 " Listen," I said, for my heart was all troubled 
 at her misfortune, " my name is Yvonne Carring- 
 ton, and you must think of me as your friend; I 
 shall arrange that you go somewhere to get well. 
 When do you leave the hospital ? " 
 
 " In ten days the Doctor said." 
 
 " Well, you shall hear from me before that." 
 (Evelyn was calling me.) "Good-bye, Anna." I 
 bent over and kissed her forehead. 
 
 " Adieu, Fraulein" she said and kissed my hand, 
 " I know not how to thank you." 
 
 I smiled at her as I left, but I felt more like 
 crying, for her sad story had distressed me much. 
 
 On the way home, I kept silent with my thoughts 
 and in wondering how I could assist Anna Engel, 
 I forgot how hot and tired I was. 
 
 At supper, Evelyn told the Doctoress she wished
 
 140 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 she had not to take charge of the Girls' Club 
 that evening, as Mr. Dale was going to speak at 
 Neighborhood House, and she wanted to hear 
 him. 
 
 "Who is Mr. Dale?" I asked. 
 
 " He is a friend of mine," said Evelyn. 
 
 " I have heard him," said the Kindergartner, 
 " make a speech at a political rally ; he is very elo- 
 quent." 
 
 " He has a Home for Consumptives in Lenox," 
 ?aid the Doctoress, " he is a philanthropist." 
 
 " That hardly describes him," said Evelyn, " for 
 his time is taken up with every sort of thing; some 
 people would call him a financier, for he is a direc- 
 tor in mines and railroads ; he is, I think, a humani- 
 tarian; every thing human interests him, although 
 he visits Settlements as he would the Chinese quar- 
 ter, partly out of curiosity. He runs a Sanitarium 
 at the same time as a racing stable, on the most 
 advanced modern methods. He can talk at a politi- 
 cal rally and dance a Cotillion the same night; he 
 will take a child on his lap and tell it fairy stories, 
 and turn to a society woman and listen to scanda- 
 lous gossip. Everything he does, he does easily, 
 without effort, and at times without much seeming- 
 interest, so he is often called blase." 
 
 " You know him well ? " asked the Doctoress. 
 
 " I have know him long," answered Evelyn. 
 
 " Is his name Herbert Dale? " I asked.
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 141 
 
 " Yes, do you know him ? " asked Evelyn, rather 
 sharply. 
 
 " No," I answered, " he is the uncle of a friend 
 of mine, who spoke of him with enthusiasm as a 
 wonderful sportsman and polo player." 
 
 " Superficial people know him as nothing else," 
 said Evelyn, " he is also a traveler ; to-night he is 
 going to tell the men and boys at Neighborhood 
 House, of an ascent he made in an airship at Spitz- 
 bergen. I should like to hear it." 
 
 " Evelyn," I said, " I will take your Girls' Club 
 if you think I can manage it, and you go and hear 
 Mr. Dale." 
 
 Evelyn hesitated, and then finally she said, it 
 would be a good experience for me, and so I might 
 take her place ; she hurried away to the lecture with- 
 out telling me what I had to do ; the Kindergartner 
 went with her. 
 
 I was very much alarmed at keeping a lot of 
 grown up girls in order, and the Doctoress could not 
 help me as she had gone to a Mothers' Meeting. 
 
 The young girls arrived a little before eight, and 
 did not seem pleased to find I had taken Evelyn's 
 place. I did not know what to say to them; they 
 paid no attention to me, and formed little groups. 
 One of them said to me: 
 
 " Ain't you going to call the meeting to order ? " 
 
 I answered, " Oh, no, that is not necessary, every- 
 body is behaving so quietly."
 
 142 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 She looked at me and giggled. 
 
 One young girl had brought an illustrated part of 
 a Sunday paper to show her friends. I shyly asked 
 if I might look at it also. 
 
 " We ain't got no objection," said one. 
 
 " Say," said another, " there's a picture of a real 
 live duchess. My! ain't she smart looking." 
 
 I bent over and exclaimed, " Why that is 
 Romola." 
 
 "Who?" said several girls. 
 
 " That," I said, " is the Duchess of Fairfield, Miss 
 King's sister." 
 
 " Oh, come off ! " said one of them. 
 
 " Come off what ? " I said. 
 
 " You 're stuffing us," said another. 
 
 " I don't know what you mean," I answered, 
 " but that lady is Miss King's oldest sister." 
 
 " Is she a relation of yours too? " asked one of 
 them. 
 
 " She is my cousin. I have a photograph of the 
 four sisters taken together." 
 
 "Will you show it to us, my dear?" asked an 
 older girl. 
 
 "If you like," I said, " my album is upstairs, I 
 will get it." 
 
 I was glad to discover anything to interest them, 
 for I had had an uncomfortable quarter of an hour, 
 feeling so helpless and young ; and some of the girls 
 were getting very noisy, but now when I returned
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 143 
 
 they all crowded round me, and I sat at the table 
 and opened the album. They were tremendously 
 interested ; I showed them my four cousins in a 
 group; but they liked even better a picture of 
 Romola in Court dress. 
 
 " My! if she ain't a regular daisy," said one. 
 
 " You bet your neck, we 'd rubber if she came to 
 see us." 
 
 " Say, you were n't sarsing us when you said 
 she was Miss King's sister? " 
 
 " Of course not, and I'm sure she would be glad 
 to come to see you if she were in Boston." 
 
 One of the girls turned the page and looked at 
 my mother and step- father in Court dress, and 
 wanted to know who they were. I told them. 
 
 " What 's their name? " they asked. 
 
 " The Count and Countess von Wildesheim." 
 
 " Then you are a Countess, too." 
 
 " But no," I said and tried to explain, but when 
 they saw my photograph in Court dress they would 
 not believe I was not a Countess also. 
 
 " You 're real foreign," said one girl, " the min- 
 ute you opened your mouth, I knew you were n't 
 born here ; now come, were you ? " 
 
 " No," I said, " but my parents being Ameri- 
 can " 
 
 " Oh, cut it out ! " said one, " your ways and man- 
 ners are different from the ladies round here, and 
 from us girls."
 
 144 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " I think she looks real Frenchy," said one, and 
 they all looked at me as if I were an animal in the 
 Zoo, from an unknown country. 
 
 " Say," one girl exclaimed, " you are the girl 
 who took my little brother in an auto yesterday, 
 and talked Italian to one man, and Dutch to an- 
 other ; we know well enough you 're a foreigner, 
 but we don't mind, do we girls? " 
 
 " No," they said. 
 
 " Say," asked the oldest girl, " if you 've been 
 wearin' Court dress, then I guess you 've been to visit 
 some kings and queens." 
 
 " I was presented to the Emperor and Empress 
 of Germany." 
 
 " You don't say ! " exclaimed one. 
 
 " You must have looked real cute," said another, 
 " but say, how do you walk in that long train? " 
 
 " One has to learn to courtesy and walk back- 
 wards." 
 
 " You be a darling," said the oldest girl, " and 
 show us how you did it." 
 
 Suddenly a brilliant idea struck me. 
 
 " If you want," I said, " I '11 show you just how 
 they do at court; two of you will be the king and 
 queen; the others will be the royal princesses, and 
 I '11 be the lady who is presented." 
 
 The young girls were enchanted with the idea. 
 We made two paper crowns, and I chose the oldest 
 girl for the king and the prettiest for the queen,
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 145 
 
 and told them all how to stand, and I pinned the 
 table cloth to my shoulders to look like a train. 
 Then I advanced, and made the three deep courtesies, 
 and walked out backwards. They all clapped their 
 hands and cried out : 
 
 " Do it again, little Countess, do it again." 
 
 " You are giving us the best time we ever had 
 here." 
 
 And so encouraged I did it once more; just as 
 I was backing out towards the door leading to the 
 stairs, I saw the door had been opened into the 
 other room which was dark, and Evelyn and a tall 
 gentleman stood watching me. I was so confused, 
 that seizing the album off the table I ran out of the 
 room and up the stairs; some of the young girls 
 called after me, " Little Countess, come down," 
 but I refused to descend and being more hot and 
 tired than I had realized downstairs, I quickly un- 
 dressed. I could hear the young girls talking and 
 then gradually going away. I was in my night 
 gown braiding my hair, when Evelyn entered : 
 
 " Already undressed ! " she said, " Mr. Dale 
 wanted to meet you." 
 
 " I am sorry," I said, " I did not know who was 
 with you, but I am too weary to come down; tell 
 him I am sorry for I should like to have seen 
 Bobby's uncle." 
 
 Evelyn stood and watched me for a moment, then 
 said: 
 10
 
 146 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " I regret, Yvonne, you told the girls about 
 Romola; they at once asked me about my sister, 
 the duchess, and it was absurd their calling you 
 ' little Countess.' I live here as simply as possible, 
 absolutely on the same basis as the other social 
 workers, who are girls who have to earn their own 
 living, and I never talk about my family ; now every- 
 body will know about my father the Copper 
 King, as he is called in the newspapers." 
 
 " I am very sorry, Evelyn," I said, " I meant no 
 harm and I did not know how to amuse the girls." 
 
 " My dear Yvonne," said Evelyn, in her clear, 
 decisive way, " you are like many other people 
 who are carried away by their impulses; you see 
 a poor person, and to relieve your own feelings, 
 you give them money; you amuse the girls at any 
 cost; you throw food to the children in the street; 
 you give them a desire to ride in automobiles; it 
 is like putting a plaster over a wound instead of 
 dressing it and making it heal gradually. I am 
 afraid you have rather demoralized the neighbor- 
 hood, but you are very young and warm-hearted; 
 you will learn in time to be wise. Good-night, Mr. 
 Dale is waiting for me downstairs," and she left 
 the room. 
 
 Thus I am not wise, because I am young and 
 warm-hearted; she spoke as if they were faults to 
 be corrected. Oh, I am so discouraged, and so hot 
 and tired.
 
 THE SETTLEMENT 147 
 
 Midnight. After writing my Memoirs, I lay 
 down and I fell into a sort of torpor. I have had 
 a strange dream or vision, which I must inscribe. 
 
 I felt as if upon my shoulders had been laid a 
 great weight, the burden of all the sorrows and 
 pain of the world, and I tried to raise it, so as 
 to make it lighter for others to carry, and I could 
 not; and then I felt that love, great love to all 
 mankind would make the world less oppressed ; and 
 before me stood Anna Engel, the young consump- 
 tive; and she held out her hands, and her eyes 
 were full of pain and grief, so that she was the 
 image of all that humanity suffers; I took her in 
 my arms and tenderly I loved her, and wept over 
 her, and tried to take her misery from her ; and then 
 I awoke, sobbing. 
 
 My candle is burnt down to the wick. I cannot 
 sleep. The air is so hot I cannot breathe. I hear 
 through all ' the open windows around me, the 
 sleepless people tossing, and the babies crying, and 
 the children fretting. Oh! why did God let pain 
 and sorrow enter into the world, and fall so heavily 
 upon the poor !
 
 LENOX
 
 XVI 
 
 AUGUST ;th. I left the Settlement this morn- 
 ing, feeling I had gained much knowledge of 
 the sad manner in which the poor have to live. 
 It was hotter than ever, and on the doorsteps women 
 and children who looked as if they had also not 
 slept, were trying to breathe a little air. Oh, so 
 gladly would I have taken them all to the hills where 
 I was going. 
 
 Evelyn did not accompany me to the station, as 
 she was occupied, and I felt very emancipated going 
 all alone, and traveling thus for the first time in 
 my life. After getting my ticket and paying for 
 the carriage, I had one dollar left wherewith I 
 should buy my lunch. I had some time to wait 
 for the train, and so I promenaded myself outside 
 the station. As I walked up and down, I noticed 
 a little girl who looked very ragged, carrying a 
 pitcher in both hands. She slipped and fell, and the 
 pitcher broke, and milk flooded the pavement; she 
 burst out crying. I went up to her as she knelt on 
 the earth and said : 
 
 " Have you hurt yourself, my little girl? " 
 She shook her head and went on crying. 
 151
 
 152 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " Can you not get some more milk? " I asked. 
 
 " I have no more money," she sobbed. 
 
 So it was but natural I should give her my dollar 
 which consoled her completely. I could not have 
 any lunch, but then there is no value in a gift with- 
 out sacrifice. 
 
 I found it was time for my train to start, and I 
 had to run the whole length of the station with my 
 bag and my book, and Israel in the Maillard box ; the 
 porter helped me in as the train was moving, and 
 I sank breathless into my chair. I remained quite 
 still a long time, with my eyes closed, for my heart 
 and my head were throbbing, and I felt rather 
 weak, as I had not slept for two days, nor hardly 
 eaten anything; then I was seized by a great thirst 
 and I rose to get myself water, but as I stood up 
 everything turned .black before my eyes, and I be- 
 came very dizzy, so I sank back in my chair; 
 and I felt frightened to be all alone, and wished 
 Angelique were with me. 
 
 "Can I do anything for you?" a voice asked, 
 which I felt I had heard before ; as in a dream and 
 without opening my eyes, I said : 
 
 " I should like a little water, please." 
 
 In a moment some one gave me some fresh water 
 with a little brandy in it. I drank and felt revived, 
 but there were silly tears in my eyes, and I feared 
 to look up lest they should drop. 
 
 " Lie back in your chair and I '11 fan you," and
 
 LENOX 153 
 
 the cool air made my tears to dry; then I looked 
 up, and before me stood the same kind gentleman 
 who had paid for my ticket on my voyage to New- 
 port, with the same kind expression in his eyes; 
 he gently fanned me and smiled. 
 
 " You are feeling better now, Miss Carrington? " 
 he asked. 
 
 " Oh, yes," I said and held out my hand to him 
 which he took and sat down in the chair next to 
 me, for our end of the carriage was quite empty. 
 " I am so glad, to see you again, and what a strange 
 hazard we should meet once more in the train, and," 
 I continued, reddening a little, " I have always 
 wanted to see you to pay you for my ticket, but 
 unfortunately to-day I have not money, because, 
 well because I have none," I stammered and felt 
 so foolish not to be able to explain, and I was ready 
 to cry again. 
 
 " It does not matter, I assure you," he said 
 quickly. " How is the American History getting 
 on?" 
 
 " Well," I explained, " I have been so tremend- 
 ously occupied at Newport and Bar Harbor and at 
 the Settlement, I have not been able to finish the 
 first volume ; and to-day my eyes hurt me, but 
 when I return to Europe " my voice trembled, 
 and the tears came back; I did never feel before 
 so feeble and weepful. 
 
 "If your eyes hurt you," he said, " close them,
 
 154 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 and I will read to you," and he began immediately 
 to read to make me feel he was not looking at 
 me; his voice was so soothing that I very soon 
 regained my calm. It was a nice, well modulated 
 voice, and although he read quite softly, the words 
 were clear and distinct; I felt at peace and pro- 
 tected, and glad to be no longer alone, but with 
 someone who thus took care of me. I recalled 
 what Prince Ulrich had said, that I needed a 
 good, strong man to watch over me ; while he read 
 I half opened my eyes to observe him. Yes, 
 he was the same man as in the portrait in that 
 horrid journal; I wondered who he was, and how 
 he knew my name, but I felt a timidity to ask 
 him his. And as I observed him, I saw how gen- 
 tlemanly he looked, with a certain grand air and 
 distinction that Americans do not often possess. 
 He was very well dressed, very clean, very neat, 
 and did not appear to suffer from the heat like 
 the other men, who had taken off their vests, and 
 had handkerchiefs in their collars. His hair was 
 brown and so was his small moustache, which was 
 neither curled nor twisted. His hands were long 
 and sun-burnt ; his shoulders were broad ; and I 
 remembered he was tall; he gave the impression of 
 a man of great strength, I mean to say strength 
 and power to lead and dominate people. I was 
 noticing what a well designed, straight nose he 
 had when he suddenly looked up and said :
 
 LENOX 155 
 
 " What is your opinion of the Dred Scott de- 
 cision? " 
 
 I reddened very much and said, " I gave not 
 attention to the sense of your words, but I like so 
 much the sound of what you read." 
 
 He laughed and said, " My reading has been 
 to you a song without words. Shall I go on ? " 
 
 " Oh, please do," I answered, " if it does not 
 tire you, and I shall apply myself well to listen." 
 
 So he went on. Gradually my eyes closed and 
 his voice was like a delicious murmur, and I think 
 I fell asleep. 
 
 I was aroused by the porter announcing dinner, 
 and the kind gentleman looked at me smilingly : 
 
 " You seem rested by your nap ; now I should 
 advise you to have something to eat, and I shall 
 be much honored if you will go with me to the 
 dining car." 
 
 " No, thank you," I said, " I prefer remaining 
 here." 
 
 Not for the whole world would I have him pay 
 for me again ; thus in fasting myself, I should 
 achieve my sacrifice for the poor little girl of the 
 broken jug. He glanced at my Maillard box and 
 said: 
 
 " Well, I suppose you are better provided for," 
 and he left me. 
 
 I wish Israel were a couple of sandwiches in- 
 stead of a toad! I should like to have asked him
 
 156 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 to bring me back a piece of bread, but no, I must 
 be heroic, and I tightened my belt. I was glad to 
 see his coat hanging up, for thus I knew he would 
 return. To pass the time, I read over a letter of 
 Lieutenant Hill, which had made me to decide our 
 fate. 
 
 LETTER. 
 
 "Dearest Yvonne, 
 
 " I cannot express to you the pain your last 
 letter has given me. My effort in French was 
 evidently ridiculous in your eyes, and each short 
 note you have written since we parted has con- 
 vinced me how little you care for me. Without 
 regard for my feelings you speak of this Tom, 
 the brother of your friend, with exaggerated terms 
 of affection; and you inform me that he en- 
 grosses much of your time and thought. I 
 wish you to realize that I am only a poor army 
 officer at the very beginning of his career; your 
 visits to all these rich and brilliant people may 
 have opened your eyes to the life which awaits 
 you at my side. In all fairness to yourself, in all 
 fairness to me, reconsider your promise. I await 
 your decision. I love you as passionately as ever, 
 but I feel certain that you are too young and too 
 inexperienced to know your own mind. Your 
 always faithful but unhappy, 
 
 "JOSEPH HILL."
 
 LENOX 157 
 
 In the train I composed a rough copy of my 
 answer. 
 
 LETTER. 
 
 " Dear Lieutenant Hill, 
 
 (I know now the right way of addressing him.) 
 " Your suspicions of my fidelity are very unjust and 
 show you do not understand me at all. Tom, of 
 whom you are jealous, is aged 10 years. I am 
 very fond of him, which is .all natural for he is 
 a very nice boy, and he gave me as a token of 
 his affection his favorite pet a toad. I am 
 carrying it about with me which is not very con- 
 venient. As for your not being rich, that is to 
 me indifferent, if only I do not have to live in 
 tenements in hot weather and do not suffer too 
 much from hunger; otherwise I love not riches as 
 I observe their owners are not happier for them. 
 That I am young and inexperienced is not my 
 fault, although it has often been applied to me as 
 a reproach. I grow older every day, and I ac- 
 cumulate experiences every minute. Oh, so many, 
 you would be surprised. I hope I have justified 
 myself and you will retire your accusations. But 
 as for my loving you very much? Very frankly 
 I do not think I do, and when I accepted you I 
 did not know it was necessary, as long as you were 
 honorable and I liked you; but my new experi- 
 ences make me think otherwise, and I am now of
 
 158 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 your opinion that ardent love may be obligatory. 
 Ardent love I have never felt, except for my 
 country. I could have waited till I saw you to 
 decide, but as you wish to know at once, I think 
 we had better renounce the idea of espousing our- 
 selves. I am very sorry if you are unhappy. I 
 have not yet finished the History of the United 
 States. 
 
 " Sincerely yours, 
 
 " YVONNE." 
 
 I know now how to terminate in the English 
 manner. 
 
 So at present, I am free; I do not know if I 
 am pleased or sorry; but when I love someone 
 with all my heart, with an ardent passion, I may 
 better understand the joys of marriage. 
 
 I became more and more hungry; I tried to con- 
 sole myself by thinking that the little girl and her 
 family had milk and food, but the idea did more 
 nourish my soul than my stomach. 
 
 When the kind gentleman returned we were 
 stopping at a station ; he said, " You still look 
 rather pale, the air is fresher here, come out, it 
 will do you good." 
 
 He seemed to enjoy taking care of me. I arose 
 to follow him, but I was again very dizzy, and I 
 had for an instant to hold on to the chair. We 
 had ascended into the hills, and the air was deli-
 
 LENOX 159 
 
 clous ; I at once thought of Anna Engel, and I asked 
 him if it would be possible to find a place, some- 
 where in the high regions for a consumptive. He 
 asked me several questions, and I told him all 
 about her; he said he thought he could arrange 
 to have her placed in a home, where consumptives 
 have a chance to get well and strong. He was so 
 sympathetic and seemed to know so much about 
 the poor that I told him about my two days at the 
 Settlement, and we reached Pittsfield before I 
 thought it could be possible for the minutes to go so 
 quickly. 
 
 This time when I arose, everything turned black 
 before my eyes, and I had to seize his arm so 
 as not to fall. He asked me no questions but 
 helped me out of the train in so careful a manner 
 that I was touched, and he carried my bag, and my 
 book, and Israel. 
 
 I knew I had to take another train for Lenox, 
 and I asked him to show it to me. 
 
 He said, " I am not going to let you take the 
 train. I have a trap here and I shall drive you 
 over ; Lenox is on my way home." 
 
 Why should I refuse so agreeable an invitation? 
 I accepted with gratitude. 
 
 He helped me up to the front seat of the 
 carriage, and drove himself a beautiful pair of 
 horses. I breathed with full lungs the air so fresh, 
 and looked with admiration upon the hills; I re-
 
 160 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 joiced myself to be once more in the country. 
 After driving some time in silence, he said : 
 
 " May I ask what that Maillard box contains? I 
 supposed you carried sandwiches, but just now I 
 thought something jumped inside."/ 
 
 I said, " Oh, yes, it is Israel, Tom's toad which 
 he gave to me as a souvenir from Bar Harbor; it 
 has not been very convenient." 
 
 " Have you had anything to eat ? " 
 
 " No," I answered, " I gave all my money away, 
 but it does not matter." 
 
 " Not for once," he said, " but I never saw a 
 child who needed more some one to take care of 
 it, than you do." 
 
 " You have taken care of me twice," I said a little 
 shyly. 
 
 " I shall always be happy to do it again," he an- 
 swered, and then he talked pleasantly of various 
 things. 
 
 I told him I was going to stay with my Cousin 
 Carolina Short, and he seemed to know where she 
 lived. As we drove up the avenue he said : " I 
 shall come and see you soon." 
 
 I thanked him for all he had done for me. He 
 drove away. I felt all of a sudden a terrible lone- 
 liness, as if he were my only friend, and I was 
 abandoned among strangers. 
 
 A maid answered the door; she said Miss Short 
 had gone to the Lenox station to meet me, and
 
 LENOX 161 
 
 she asked me to wait in the parlor. I sat in a 
 dark room with all the shades down, and I felt 
 more and more miserable and oppressed. 
 
 After a long while I heard a carriage arrive, 
 and soon an elderly lady entered the room. She 
 had gray hair, and a perfectly flat figure, and she 
 resembled a little Cousin Henry; she seemed very- 
 much agitated. 
 
 " I suppose you are Yvonne Carrington? " 
 
 " Yes, Cousin Carolina," I answered, and she 
 kissed me awkwardly as if she were not in the 
 habit of it. 
 
 " How did you get here ? I drove to the station 
 to meet you, and was very much upset not to find 
 you." 
 
 " I am sorry you were inconvenienced but I 
 was driven over from Pittsfield." 
 
 "With your trunk?" 
 
 " Oh, no, the gentleman who drove me over had 
 not the place for it." 
 
 " What gentleman? a friend of yours? " 
 
 " Oh, yes, but I do not know his name." 
 
 " You do not mean to say you drove with a 
 stranger whose name you do not know ; it is most 
 extraordinary conduct." 
 
 I do not know if it were her tone of reproach 
 
 or that queer weakness which returned, but I burst 
 
 out crying, quite violently. This disturbed Cousin 
 
 Carolina, and she led me quickly to my room re- 
 
 ii
 
 162 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 peating, " Hush, hush, child, don't cry." And I 
 began to laugh and cry at the same time. She 
 then called to the maid : " Send for the doctor," 
 and that brought me to my senses; I stopped and 
 said, " No, please I am all right." And then I 
 was quiet, and she helped me off with my hat and 
 made me lie down. 
 
 " We don't have afternoon tea in summer," she 
 said, " and we dine at half past seven. I have 
 asked some ladies to meet you, so try and get a 
 good rest," and she left the room. 
 
 I lay down a long time. I drank a quantity of 
 water and took a bath, and' after getting fresh 
 clothes from the box which had been sent to me from 
 West Point, I felt more presentable; and although 
 very weak, I went downstairs with a devouring 
 hunger. At last we went to table; there were six 
 ladies beside ourselves; all quite old, so it was not 
 an amusing dinner, but I did not care, for I was 
 so happy to be able to eat, and I never tasted a 
 more delicious repast. After dinner four of the 
 ladies played Bridge. I was asked to play, but I 
 do not know how, which annoyed Cousin Carolina, 
 so she and I and two other ladies were obliged to 
 converse; I wondered why they sat not outside on 
 such a beautiful evening. 
 
 " I saw Mr. Dale drive through the village this 
 afternoon," said one lady who was thin, with a long 
 nose.
 
 LENOX 163 
 
 " I hear his consumptives' home is enlarged," 
 said the other ; " it is very unpleasant to have con- 
 sumptives established in the neighborhood." 
 
 " Yes," said Cousin Carolina, " it is very incon- 
 siderate of him to do such a thing, but then we all 
 know he is a very selfish, eccentric man; I have 
 asked him repeatedly to my teas and card-parties, 
 and he has always refused; so now I shall not ask 
 him again even if he begs for an invitation." 
 
 " He is so conceited and stingy," said the thin 
 lady ; " I wrote and asked him for money, and 
 you know he is as rich as Croesus, for a temporary 
 home for dogs with distemper, so inconvenient 
 and painful to have them round, just like children 
 with measles, and would you believe it, his sec- 
 retary wrote a note of refusal and I have never 
 heard from Mr. Dale himself." 
 
 " Are you girls talking of Herbert Dale ; I adore 
 him ! " shrieked a lady at the card table whom I 
 noticed gave herself airs of youth ; " he is a perfect 
 fascinator! Why, Carolina Short, you never told 
 us you had a box of Maillard candy ! I adore Mail- 
 lard candy ! " 
 
 Before I could stop her, she jumped up and 
 opened the box over the table so Israel fell out 
 and hopped among the cards. The ladies all be- 
 gan to scream and pushed back their chairs so vio- 
 lently that several chairs fell over. And the table, 
 the cards, and Israel all tumbled down together.
 
 164 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 Cousin Carolina became very red and said, " Who 
 has been playing a practical joke on me, like this? " 
 
 I advanced myself and said: " Cousin Carolina, 
 I am very sorry, but it is no joke; it is a toad I 
 brought from Bar Harbor ; it was given to me as a 
 present." 
 
 " Take the creature away," called several ladies 
 who had gathered their skirts together as if they 
 thought Israel was a mouse who would run up their 
 legs. 
 
 " I regret," I said, " I cannot, for I have a horror 
 of touching a toad, but he will do no harm." 
 
 Cousin Carolina looked very angry and said, " La- 
 dies, as Yvonne is unable to rid us of the animal 
 she has brought with her, we shall adjourn to an- 
 other room ; the gardener will remove it in the morn- 
 ing." 
 
 All the ladies describing a wide circle from where 
 Israel was hopping among the cards, retired to 
 another parlor. I felt humiliated by their reproach- 
 ful glances and I slipped off to my room, and there 
 I have written for over an hour. 
 
 I shall not be happy with Cousin Carolina, and 
 of course I have displeased her very much. Alas! 
 I have to remain here two or three days. Cousin 
 Henry is coming to-morrow to pass Sunday, and 
 to take me back to my dear grandmother, whom I 
 have such a longing to see. When I was amusing 
 myself my longing was not so great, but now, oh,
 
 LENOX 165 
 
 yes, I want to be with her and not leave her till my 
 departure. 
 
 Although the people here please me not and I 
 am not happy, yet I like to sit at my window and 
 listen to all the soft voices of the night. They 
 have never sounded so melodious to me before. I 
 think of all the poor, hot people in their tenements, 
 and oh, I thank God, that their lot is not mine; 
 but I want to help them, and I hope I shall some 
 day.
 
 XVII 
 
 AUGUST 9th. I have spent two days of com- 
 plete boredom ; every hour I pass here be- 
 comes more intolerable; my only compensation is, 
 that I am reposing myself completely, for I was 
 very tired. 
 
 I have decided to separate myself from Israel, 
 for his greater happiness and for mine ; the gardener 
 has put him in a nice cool place among hydrangeas, 
 and I have written to explain it all to Tom ; I hope 
 he will not be wounded at my lack of appreciation 
 of his present, but a toad as traveling companion 
 causes many annoyances. 
 
 I do not think that Cousin Carolina finds me to 
 her taste. Her effort to be amiable is very evidently 
 a great one ; to distract me she took me yesterday 
 in her carriage to a Church Bazaar, and also to 
 call upon several old ladies; they said there were 
 very few gentlemen at Lenox in August, so they 
 have " hen parties " ; I should prefer " chicken par- 
 ties " of young persons instead. Thus the hours 
 passed slowly yesterday. I had hoped the kind gen- 
 tleman would come to see me, but he did not, nor 
 has he been here to-day. 
 
 166
 
 s 
 
 LENOX 167 
 
 This afternoon Cousin Henry arrived. Oh, how 
 he does displease me! He takes possession of me 
 as if I belonged to him, and evidently Cousin Car- 
 olina was glad to be relieved of my care. 
 
 I am enormously annoyed for I intended to re- 
 turn to my grandmother, Monday, and I was count- 
 ing the minutes until my departure, when Cousin 
 Henry informed me he had obtained her permission 
 to have me remain until Wednesday. He had ar- 
 ranged to leave his office on a holiday for that length 
 of time, so as to escort me back; he had affairs to 
 attend to in Lenox for his sister until then. I 
 reasoned and argued, and said I could not bear 
 being away from my grandmother so long, but he 
 treated me as usual like a foolish child. I had 
 to run to my room so as not to burst out crying in 
 his presence. 
 
 I feel like a captive, like a bird with clipped wings ! 
 Just before dinner I escaped to go to the Post, to 
 see if I had any letters; I met there a lady whom 
 I had known at Bar Harbor, Mrs. Edward Lacy, 
 and I nearly embraced her with pleasure at seeing 
 someone who recalled to me those happy days. She 
 is not very old, not quite thirty, I think, and is very 
 pretty, and has a nice, jolly husband. She is very 
 amiable; she asked me where I was staying, and 
 would I not come to her for a visit. She lives at 
 Stockbridge, and I said I should like to come very, 
 very much. At that instant appeared like a spectre
 
 1 68 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 at my side, Cousin Henry he knew Mrs. Lacy 
 and she invited us both to lunch, to-morrow, Sun- 
 day. I would have preferred to go alone. 
 
 As we walked back to the house, I asked Cousin 
 Henry if Mr. Dale of Stockbridge lived near the 
 Lacy's. 
 
 " Yes," said Cousin Henry, " about a mile off, at 
 Rilldale." 
 
 " Rilldale ! " I said, " what a pretty name." 
 
 " It was called that way because a brook runs 
 through the meadows." 
 
 " Do you think," I asked, " that Mr. Dale is a 
 philanthropist, or a perfect fascinator? " 
 
 " He is neither," said Cousin Henry ; " what ab- 
 surd questions you ask, Yvonne. He is a man full 
 of fads and fancies; he goes out in society very 
 little; he associates somewhat with artists and Bo- 
 hemians; a pretty good* sort of fellow, but I should 
 find difficulty in accurately determining his real 
 character." 
 
 " I think," I said, " that Evelyn also thought it 
 was difficult for other people to understand him ; I 
 should like much to know him." 
 
 " I doubt if you get a chance," said Cousin 
 Henry ; " it is about ten years since he has paid 
 the slightest attention to a young girl, and you are 
 still very immature, my dear Yvonne." 
 
 " Yes, Cousin Henry," I said with a meek ex-
 
 LENOX 169 
 
 pression, " you must find me very dull as I am so 
 much younger than you are." And I ran up to my 
 room. I am curious to see Mr. Dale. Why is it 
 ten years since young girls interested him ? 
 
 At dinner Cousin Carolina told Cousin Henry 
 that a gentleman had driven me over from Pitts- 
 field, whose name I did not know ; whereupon 
 Cousin Henry began to preach me a sermon. 
 
 " My dear Yvonne, you think in America because 
 a girl has more freedom, that everything is per- 
 missible. To accept an invitation from a man you 
 do not know, to drive that distance with a total 
 stranger, is the inconceivable acme of bad taste. If 
 he is a gentleman, he must think you a very peculiar 
 young person. Allow me to tell you, my dear 
 Yvonne " 
 
 " No, I will not allow you to tell me anything 
 more ! " I said, rising from the table and stamping 
 my foot with exasperation just as I do at Fraii- 
 lein when she irritates me beyond measure. " You 
 are not my guardian, Cousin Henry, nor my tutor, 
 and I am under no obligations to accept your ad- 
 vice. Please excuse me, Cousin Carolina, my head 
 is aching badly. Good-night." 
 
 I went to my room where I remained a long time 
 at my window, watching the stars, and wondering 
 if the kind gentleman did think me a peculiar young 
 person that is perhaps why he has not been to
 
 1 70 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 see me. If he comes not, I shall write to Mr. Dale 
 and ask if there is a place in the Home for Anna 
 Engel; if Mr. Dale sees me not, his objections to 
 young girls will not prejudice him against me.
 
 STOCKBRIDGE
 
 XVIII 
 
 AUGUST loth. Sunday morning, my cousins 
 do not breakfast till half-past nine, and it 
 was long before that when I wandered in the garden, 
 as is my habit. It was a delicious morning, with a 
 mist over the hills and all the flowers were opening 
 their petals to bid the sun good-day; although I 
 was afflicted to dwell with people I do not like, 
 yet the earth was too beautiful not to rejoice therein. 
 
 I passed the stable where the old coachman was 
 grooming a little horse, and we began to converse. 
 I told him how much I liked riding, and he told me 
 the horse he was rubbing down was the best saddle 
 horse he knew; he had been a polo pony, now he 
 was only used in harness. A great desire seized 
 me to ride him, so I begged the coachman to bridle 
 him for me; I assured him that I was quite in the 
 habit of riding without a saddle; at first he would 
 not, but I begged so hard that he finally said : 
 
 " One can't deny you, Miss," and he mounted me. 
 
 Oh, I was so happy as I rode quietly through 
 the back gate, and the pony was in truth a dear little 
 animal. I rode astride ; I was dressed in a pink 
 linen frock and a pink muslin hat, but it was an early 
 
 i73
 
 174 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 hour, and there was fortunately no one to see me. 
 Besides, I do not mind a scolding if the pleasure 
 is great enough to compensate, and as I rode away 
 in the fresh morning air, I felt free and joyous, 
 for the first time in many days. 
 
 The pony had delicious gaits, and I made him 
 to gallop. I think he enjoyed the promenade as 
 much as I ; for there is sympathy between a horse 
 and his rider, and it is surely more honorable for a 
 horse to bear a person on his back who caresses 
 him than to draw a carriage. 
 
 I felt intoxicated with the morning so fresh, and 
 the sun not too hot, and I went on and on without 
 thinking of the direction that I took. After a while, 
 I stopped under the shade of a great elm ; I listened 
 to the song of the birds, for like me they are more 
 joyous in the morning; and the little insects were 
 beginning to rejoice in the increasing heat and to 
 hum more loudly; and I could hear church bells in 
 the far distance; the sounds of nature and the 
 church bells seemed to summon the whole creation 
 to praise God. 
 
 I understood now why my grandmother wished 
 me to visit Lenox; she comes here herself in the 
 Autumn, for it is oh, so beautiful, and as I gazed 
 at the hills that surrounded me they looked violet 
 in the distance; a beautiful lake was visible below 
 me. I went on, guided by a vague desire to pur- 
 sue the road as it rose higher and led me through
 
 STOCKBRIDGE 175 
 
 unknown country. I had no watch and knew not 
 the hour; but one does not wish to count the min- 
 utes when the moments are pleasantest, especially 
 when the return leads to displeasure and annoy- 
 ance. 
 
 I was thirsty, I was hungry, and I thought I 
 would stop at a farm and ask the peasants for a 
 glass of milk, as I have done in Swiss Mountains 
 sometimes. I slid off the pony in front of a little 
 house, and tied the bridle to a branch. I went to 
 the door and knocked, but no one answered ; then I 
 walked to the back, and no one was there, just a 
 few hens pecking the ground; the people had all 
 gone to church; I made up mind I must return to 
 Lenox and let the pony guide me back. 
 
 At that moment, I heard a horse trotting, and 
 running to the road I saw the pony galloping away, 
 back in the direction we had come. I called and ran 
 after him, but he went only the faster, and hot 
 and tired, I sat down on a wall. Not a human being 
 could I perceive and no houses either as the 
 hill was covered with trees. 
 
 It was a little discouraging to be abandoned like 
 this, far from home, in a country so solitary. I 
 decided to walk till I found an inhabited house, so 
 I arose and marched through the dust, the heat be- 
 coming greater. After a long moment I arrived to 
 an avenue, which led from the road ; it was well 
 kept and looked as if it belonged to a private do-
 
 176 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 main; this was encouraging, so I followed it, being 
 convinced it would lead me to a house. I walked 
 and walked indefinitely through a fine forest and I 
 observed the underbrush was cleared and the trees 
 trimmed as they are in Europe; a bridge crossed 
 over a stream. 
 
 I decided at last that this road had no end and 
 that I was quite lost ; I was so fatigued my legs 
 would no longer support me. I was abandoning 
 all hope of ever reaching a habitation or seeing a 
 human being again, when the avenue turned and I 
 saw a white villa; revived at this view, I rapidly 
 approached it. A broad terrace stretched in front 
 of the house and on the side there was a porch 
 covered with roses. I found a bell which I rang. 
 A domestic appeared. 
 
 " Who inhabits here? " I asked. 
 
 "Mr. Herbert Dale, Miss," he answered. 
 
 Oh, I thought, how fortunate ; he is a philan- 
 thropist, he will let me a rest a moment. I then 
 said: 
 
 " May I sit here for a while, and do you think 
 Mr. Dale would let me have a glass of milk? " 
 
 " Yes, Miss," said the man ; " but won't you come 
 to the front of the house? this is the back entrance." 
 
 " No, thank you," I answered ; " it is very nice ; 
 I will stay here." 
 
 "Whom shall I say, Miss?" 
 
 " Mr. Dale does not know me ; do not disturb
 
 STOCKBRIDGE 177 
 
 him, but oh, yes " I suddenly thought of Anna 
 Engel " tell him I want to speak to him about a 
 young consumptive." 
 
 The man looked at me with surprise and departed. 
 I leaned against the pillar of the porch all sur- 
 rounded by roses and wondered what air Mr. Dale 
 would have; for every one spoke of him so differ- 
 ently, judging him really according to their own 
 natures ; and I wished, oh, I wished it were some 
 one else who has come twice to my succor before. 
 I have only one superstition, that is, that the 
 number three brings good luck ; the Germans 'say, 
 " Alle gute Dinge sind drel." And oh, what joy! 
 my wish came true; I saw my kind friend of the 
 train approaching quickly towards me. 
 
 I held out my two hands to him, saying : " Oh, 
 I am so glad it is you ; for the third time you have 
 come to my assistance." 
 
 He took my hands and looked at me wonderingly 
 and yet with pleasure, and as if answering my 
 thought, he said : 
 
 "Alle gute Dinge sind drei! I am glad to see 
 you once more ; please follow me," and he led me 
 inside; it was deliciously fresh and I rejoiced to be 
 out of the heat. 
 
 " Come into the library," he said and we entered 
 a great, big room lined with books, with an enor- 
 mous writing desk, where it was evident someone 
 had just been writing. " I was told a young lady 
 12
 
 178 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 wanted a glass of milk, can I not give you something 
 else?" 
 
 " If Mr. Dale does not mind," I said, " perhaps I 
 might also have a piece of bread." 
 
 I saw the domestic's eyes were big with aston- 
 ishment; while my friend gave him directions I 
 looked out of the glass door which led on the 
 terrace from which there was a superb view ; he 
 came towards me, and made me sit down in a big 
 leather arm chair, and showed me all the solicitude, 
 which I am now accustomed to receive from him. 
 In truth, I felt as if he were an old friend. 
 
 " Are you staying with Mr. Dale? " I asked. 
 
 " I am Herbert Dale," he answered. 
 
 " You ! " I exclaimed and jumped up. " Oh, how 
 extraordinary! Then you are the philanthropist, 
 you are Bobby's uncle, you are the traveler and the 
 humanitarian Evelyn admires so much, you are the 
 perfect fascinator the old lady spoke of, and then it 
 was you, Mr. Dale, whose photograph was behind 
 mine in that Sunday journal." 
 
 " Yes," he said smiling, " and it was through that 
 article that I recognized the likeness of my travel- 
 ing companion who had lost her ticket in the train, 
 and I have followed ever since the career of Miss 
 Carrington with the greatest interest." 
 
 He opened a drawer of his writing table and 
 took out a small piece of cardboard on which was
 
 STOCKBRIDGE 179 
 
 pasted my portrait and handed it to me. Yes, it 
 was the same cutting Evelyn and I had quarreled 
 over. 
 
 " I stayed at Newport," he said, " with your 
 aunt, Mrs. King, a few days after you had left, 
 and Mischief confided to me her great love and 
 admiration for you; your name has appeared sev- 
 eral times in the social news of the papers; at the 
 Settlement I saw by chance your graceful perform- 
 ance before those girls, but you refused to let me 
 be introduced to you." 
 
 " Oh," I said, " you were then the gentleman with 
 Evelyn. How strange a hazard we should have 
 traveled again together the next day." 
 
 " It was not quite an accident ; your cousin told 
 me what train you were taking for Lenox and I 
 found it convenient to take the same, and now, will 
 you tell me what happy chance brought you here 
 to-day? When I saw you on the porch in your 
 pink dress, you looked like a fairy rose among 
 the roses. Have you run away from the respectable 
 Miss Carolina Short ? " 
 
 At that moment the domestic brought in a tray 
 with all sorts of delicious things, and I sat down 
 to the best morning repast I have ever eaten. I 
 told Mr. Dale my adventure of the morning; he 
 laughed several times but when I had finished he 
 said:
 
 i8o AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " Your cousins must be very much worried about 
 you. I shall telephone to them at once and drive 
 you back, for it is nearly twelve o'clock." 
 
 " Oh, but! " I said, " I wanted so much to lunch 
 to-day with Mrs. Lacy; it was the only nice thing I 
 was going to do during my whole visit to Lenox." 
 
 " Then I shall drive you to her house ; she lives 
 only a mile from here, and your cousin can come 
 for you there." 
 
 He went to the door and as he passed me, I 
 shyly detained him by putting my finger on his arm 
 and looked up at him. 
 
 " Mr. Dale," I said, " can't I stay here a little 
 longer? I am so happy; it is the middle of the 
 day and very hot out of doors, and we shall be too 
 early for lunch, or perhaps," and I rose and folded 
 my hands before me " perhaps it is true what 
 Cousin Carolina said, because I drove with you, 
 without knowing your name, you disapprove of me, 
 and think me a very peculiar young person." 
 
 " I think," he said impulsively, " that you are an 
 adorable child, and that you greatly need someone 
 to take care of you." 
 
 I looked about me after he had gone. It was a 
 room in which one felt at ease, books are such good, 
 silent companions, and I imagined in cold weather 
 a great cheerful fire burning in the beautiful big 
 chimney. There were three long windows opening 
 on the terrace and the view was over distant moun-
 
 STOCKBRIDGE 181 
 
 tains ; on a small table were photographs. I divined 
 they were members of his family; there was a pic- 
 ture of a little boy with curly hair who must be 
 Bobby. I carefully observed everything so as to 
 remember long each detail, and as I stood by the 
 table I saw a letter addressed to myself. 
 
 Mr. Dale entered the room and I took the letter 
 to him. " You were writing to me," I said. 
 
 " Yes," he answered, " about your consumptive 
 girl. I can arrange to have her come here next 
 week." 
 
 " You were not coming to see me then? " I asked 
 with a queer feeling of disappointment. 
 
 " I thought it better to write," he answered. " I 
 am going to-morrow to New York. I have also 
 written to the Doctor at the hospital to have Anna 
 Engel accompanied by a nurse." He took the letter 
 from me and tore it up. " Your cousins," he went 
 on " have been much upset over your disappear- 
 ance. Mr. Short is at present wandering about the 
 country looking for you ; the pony had just arrived 
 and they thought you had had an accident." 
 
 " Oh," I said with a deep sigh " I can imagine 
 how contraried Cousin Carolina will be, and Cousin 
 Henry will preach me such a long sermon ; they will 
 think worse of me than ever. I wish I had not to 
 go back to them." 
 
 The domestic announced the carriage was at the 
 door. I looked about me regretfully and said, " It
 
 182 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 is so nice to be here; I should like to stay. It is 
 a very unkind arrangement, do you not think, that 
 when one is happy time runs and the moments are 
 gone, and when one is dull, time drags so slowly, 
 so slowly, the little minutes become long hours. I 
 wonder if I shall ever be here again," and at the 
 door he was holding open for me, I whispered to 
 the room, " Auf Wiedersehn." 
 
 We drove in a phaeton with a groom behind. 
 Several houses I saw on his estates and young horses 
 gamboling in the prairies; and before I thought we 
 had gone but a few metres, we drove up to Mrs. 
 Lacy's door. 
 
 He said good-bye to me quite cheerfully, but I 
 felt not cheerful to say good-bye to him, for I feared 
 I should never see him again. 
 
 Mrs. Lacy was at home and received me in a 
 most kind manner. I told her of my misadventure, 
 and my lips trembled, as when I was a child, when I 
 said how I dreaded going back to my cousins, be- 
 cause now I was in utter disgrace with them, and 
 I longed to get back to my grandmother, but Cousin 
 Henry would not let me go till Wednesday, so as 
 to travel with him. 
 
 " Listen," said Mrs. Lacy; "we will take you to 
 New York with us to-morrow when we go to Long 
 Island. We are going in our automobile, and I 
 wonder if we could not find a fourth, another 
 man."
 
 STOCKBRIDGE 183 
 
 " Mr. Dale said he was going to New York to- 
 morrow," I suggested. 
 
 " That 's splendid," she said; " we could not have 
 a more delightful person. I know him well. We 
 shall motor over to Lenox this afternoon to get 
 your things, and you '11 spend the night here as we 
 have to make an early start." 
 
 I kissed her hand with effusion, and thanked her 
 oh ! so joyfully. 
 
 Cousin Henry had telephoned all the horses were 
 used up hunting for me, so he could not come to 
 lunch. Mrs. Lacy telephoned to Mr. Dale who said 
 he would go with us with pleasure. I was so joyous, 
 my heart seemed filled with little springs of con- 
 tentment. 
 
 When it was cool in the afternoon we motored 
 over to Lenox. I was afraid of the battle before 
 me, for I knew Cousin Henry would not wish me 
 to leave so suddenly. By wonderful good luck he 
 saw me not, and I was shown into Cousin Caro- 
 lina's room; she was lying down in semi-darkness; 
 the blinds were closed; she had a wet handkerchief 
 on her forehead which indicated she had a head- 
 ache. 
 
 " Well, Yvonne," she said as I stood at the foot 
 of her bed, " you have caused us by your thoughtless 
 behavior, the greatest anxiety ; we thought you were 
 killed, and until two o'clock your Cousin Henry and 
 the coachman have been hunting for you in all direc-
 
 184 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 tions. When I heard from Mr. Dale, at twelve 
 o'clock, that he had picked you up somewhere I 
 collapsed, and I expect as a result one of my three 
 days' headache, when I am utterly prostrated." 
 
 " I am very sorry, Cousin Carolina," I stammered, 
 "but" 
 
 ' There is no use in being sorry afterwards," 
 she said, like the queen in " Alicein Wonderland," 
 " I don't know what you will do with yourself for 
 the next three days, for I feel quite incompetent to 
 look after you ; and I shall beg you not to leave the 
 house, unless my brother escorts you; he is also 
 completely worn out and it has brought on one 
 of his bilious attacks; now leave me; I wish to be 
 entirely quiet." 
 
 " Cousin Carolina," I said, " Mrs. Lacy has asked 
 me to spend to-night at her house and she will take 
 me home to-morrow to my grandmother's, if you 
 do not mind." 
 
 " No, I do not mind at all," said Cousin Carolina 
 sitting up as if the idea of my departure had re- 
 vived her. " I think under the circumstances it is 
 the very best thing you can do. I will explain it 
 to your Cousin Henry." 
 
 " Please do," I said, and hurriedly took my leave, 
 for fear he might appear. 
 
 I threw all my things into my trunk and then 
 jumped on it. It would be too horrible if Cousin 
 Henry should prevent my going, and never was I
 
 STOCKBRIDGE 185 
 
 so relieved, as if escaping from a great danger, as 
 when we safely were clear of the house on our way 
 to Stockbridge. 
 
 In the evening Cousin Henry telephoned this 
 is what he said : 
 
 He " Yvonne, I will not reproach you for run- 
 ning away from us as you did this morning; your 
 falling off the horse was an accident. After all the 
 anxiety I have gone through, I am only too grateful 
 to know you are well and alive, but I wish you to 
 return to us." 
 
 I " Cousin Henry, I am very sorry to have 
 troubled you, but Cousin Carolina does not wish me 
 to come back." 
 
 He " You are my guest, Yvonne, as well as 
 hers, and I cannot let you go away like this. I 
 am unfortunately rather played out or else I should 
 have driven over this evening to get you." 
 
 I " Cousin Henry, I wish you to know I did not 
 fall off the horse; he left me : 
 
 He " This misfortune was not your fault ; I 
 have explained that to my sister." 
 
 I " It was not a misfortune, for I was very 
 fortunate to meet Mr. Dale, and I breakfasted in 
 his beautiful house." 
 
 He " What do you say ? " 
 
 I " I say I visited Mr. Dale." 
 
 He " Were you alone there ? " 
 
 I _ Yes."
 
 186 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 He " But he is a bachelor." 
 
 I " That matters nothing. He is very kind and 
 nice, and did not mind my being immature." 
 
 He " What do you say ? " 
 
 I " I say I am going to New York with him 
 to-morrow." 
 
 He " I cannot allow it; you shall do nothing of 
 the kind. -What train do you take? I shall join 
 you at Stockbridge." 
 
 I " But Cousin Henry, you told me you had 
 business affairs which detained you in Lenox till 
 Wednesday; besides we are going with Mr. and 
 Mrs. Lacy in the automobile; there is no room for 
 more. Good-bye; please express my regrets to 
 Cousin Carolina for the annoyances I have caused 
 her." And I rang off the telephone to end the dis- 
 cussion. I wish in future I could always talk to 
 Cousin Henry at the end of a telephone. 
 
 My day has been full of adventures, and I look 
 forward to the morrow with all sorts of wonderful 
 expectations.
 
 WEST POINT
 
 XIX 
 
 AUGUST nth. This has been the most inter- 
 esting day of my life! I awoke at six, as 
 the sun was streaming into my room; I ran to the 
 window; it had rained in the night, and the trees 
 were shining, so clear and fresh as if emerging 
 from a bath. 
 
 I felt as if happiness was resplendent all around 
 me; the sky was azure blue, with little soft clouds 
 floating lightly, as if spun from the morning mist. 
 After I was dressed, I tried to sit down quietly and 
 read my American History, but the phrases my 
 eyes dwelt upon penetrated not to my brain ; I could 
 only think of one thing, and so I ran down to the 
 garden to procure myself a little exercise. 
 
 Afterwards I was finishing my breakfast in my 
 room when I saw from my window Mr. Dale drive 
 to the house in his dog-cart; my first impulse was 
 to run down and greet him, but a sudden reticence 
 took possession of me, and I waited till they called 
 me to depart ; and a new and strange timidity emo- 
 tioned me, as I shook hands with him. 
 
 Mr. Lacy activated our departure and hurried his 
 wife, who is always a little late. We sat thus in 
 
 189
 
 190 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 the automobile: Mr. Lacy in front with the 
 chauffeur; behind, Mrs. Lacy at the right, Mr. 
 Dale at the left, and I being the slightest in 
 the middle. 
 
 The air was deliciously fresh, and the ground a 
 pleasant brown color, darkened by moisture. The 
 road was shaded by trees, and the overhanging 
 branches sprinkled us lightly with rain drops as 
 we brushed past them, which made us to laugh. 
 We were gay and I think very content to be to- 
 gether. 
 
 At first we rose among the hills to a high point 
 where there was a beautiful view, and then we 
 descended by a rough road to a long, winding 
 valley, with a stream, at the bottom, rushing over 
 stones and disappearing beneath a thick foliage. 
 I was reminded of the Tyrol, although, I regret to 
 say, the peasants' houses were not so picturesque. 
 
 It was striking twelve at the town clock when 
 we entered a little city where we intended to lunch. 
 We felt rather stiff as we descended from the 
 machine, especially Mrs. Lacy, whose back is weak, 
 and she looked pale and fatigued. 
 
 At table the two gentlemen did all the talking; 
 I know not why I felt silent although I was most 
 happy. The nourishment was not appetizing, and 
 the hotel little attractive. In Europe a small inn 
 would possess a terrace where we could have our 
 repast out of doors, but my compatriots never eat
 
 WEST POINT 191 
 
 in the fresh air. I suppose they have a good rea- 
 son for that. 
 
 Mr. Lacy meant to start as soon as we had fin- 
 ished: for we had a long run before us, but Mrs. 
 Lacy begged him to wait a little longer, and en- 
 gaged a chamber to repose herself. I sat in the 
 hotel parlor; an ugly room with soiled lace cur- 
 tains, monstrous furniture and absurd pictures. I 
 tried to read Rhodes' History, but again my mind 
 did wander. 
 
 My eyes instead of being fixed on the book were 
 watching the open door, and thus I saw Mr. Dale 
 pass before it. He stopped on seeing me, and I 
 smiled, so he entered the room saying : 
 
 " Shall I disturb the ardent American in her 
 pursuit of knowledge, by joining her for a mo- 
 ment ? " 
 
 " Oh, please disturb me," I said, " for I seem not 
 able to apply myself to study." 
 
 He sat near me in one of the grotesque arm- 
 chairs, and again I felt an emotion or conscious- 
 ness of myself that made me ill at ease, and I did 
 so want to appear as old as possible, Cousin Henry 
 having told me Mr. Dale liked not young girls. 
 
 " I suppose," Mr. Dale said, " that besides your 
 study of American History, you have been inter- 
 ested in our summer life, though no doubt you 
 find Europe more interesting." 
 
 " Oh ! " I exclaimed, " believe not that ! Verita-
 
 192 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 bly if I could see my prayers accomplished, never 
 again would I return to Europe. I hate it! I 
 hate it so that my feet will crisp themselves with 
 repulsion when I touch once more European soil ! " 
 
 He laughed and I wondered if I had said a child- 
 ish thing; then he said; " But you were born and 
 brought up in Europe." 
 
 " Yes, that is what makes it so tragic ; no one 
 has known what I felt; they have treated me as if 
 I were one of them over there; as if it were all 
 natural for me to be content to be retained in a 
 foreign land." 
 
 " You speak as if they kept you in captivity." 
 
 " Were not the strict rules and coventions that 
 compressed me, chains? Chains to my feelings, 
 chains to my actions, chains to every desire of 
 liberty? Oh, but yes, I have been in chains, just 
 my heart do you see could not be made foreign. 
 My manners, my clothes, my voice, my language, 
 all these were forced to be European, but my 
 heart! no, that is American, and belongs all entire 
 to my wonderful country." I had animated myself 
 in talking, I could feel my cheeks were burning; 
 he was looking at me, I thought with curiosity. 
 
 " You strange child ! " he said with a little laugh. 
 
 The words gave me a blow to the heart; he 
 mocked himself of me, I appeared to him as a child. 
 I felt tears come to my eyes. I arose and went to 
 the window.
 
 WEST POINT 193 
 
 " Miss Carrington," he called, but I did not an- 
 swer; he repeated my name more softly and joined 
 me at the window. " Miss Carrington, don't mis- 
 understand me." 
 
 " You have laughed at my words," I said re- 
 proachfully. 
 
 " No, don't think that. Do you know why I 
 laughed? I was thinking of myself. I laughed, 
 remembering my own youthful dreams of patriot- 
 ism and my early enthusiasms for the Greek 
 heroes." 
 
 " My heroine is Jeanne d'Arc ; I have envied her 
 so. Oh, it would be glorious to lead the armies 
 of one's land." 
 
 " I felt that way," he said, " when I was young 
 -young like you." 
 
 " And would you not," I asked, " be joyful to 
 die for your country now?" 
 
 " I hardly know," he answered, " living in it 
 nowadays seems to be bad enough." 
 
 " Oh, how dreadful," I said, " to feel like that. 
 If America was invaded, would you not take arms 
 to repulse the intruder?" 
 
 " Every immigrant who lands on our shores, 
 invades the country ; thousands take possession 
 every year. None of us dispute one inch of 
 ground; they rule us in city politics; the strangers 
 dispose of our money for the education of their 
 children and other profits of their own; there is 
 13
 
 194 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 no country in the world, Miss Carrington, where 
 it is harder to be patriotic." 
 
 I reflected gravely over his words, then I spoke : 
 " What you say is no doubt true, but I agree not 
 with your conclusion. An American can be patri- 
 otic, for just as parents love the new little children 
 whom they have not possessed long, who are help- 
 less and cannot speak, so the new arrivals in our 
 land become part of the great family of the nation 
 to be protected and cared for. It is good we pay 
 for their education, for we teach them the laws 
 of our marvelous constitution, and they are happy 
 to leave the servitude of European governments; 
 thus they soon look up to our flag as their own." 
 
 " Indeed, Miss Carrington, I named you well 
 just now, the ardent American." 
 
 " The name pleases me," I said, " but not your 
 way of saying it. You seem to mock yourself of 
 me, as if your heart were hard and not tender to 
 other people's feelings. Evelyn truly said you 
 were difficult to understand, for your words make 
 forget your actions: you have a Home for Con- 
 sumptives ; Bobby loves you ; Mischief likes you 
 much; children know who is good, so do animals 
 it is said. Are they afraid of you? " 
 
 " Be reassured," he answered, " dogs and cats 
 make up to me at once." 
 
 " I was right," I said enchanted, " I knew you 
 must be better than you thought yourself to be."
 
 WEST POINT 195 
 
 " Thank you," he said, " for your good opinion. 
 I wish you could help me to discover some more 
 valuable qualities." 
 
 " Yes, I will gladly," I answered, " for I think 
 you take pleasure in disliking yourself. I do too 
 sometimes. I think I am horrid, and then I scold 
 myself for I believe I must not hate what the 
 good God has made, and the people who thus en- 
 courage themselves, I think, are better liked, and 
 it is so nice to be liked." 
 
 " A new philosophy," he said laughing, " love 
 yourself and others will love you. That is quite 
 a wise observation." 
 
 " Oh, please," I said, " do not laugh when I talk 
 to you seriously. I open to you my thoughts, and 
 rudely you thrust them back. I know not why I 
 want to like you. I disbelieve the way the old 
 ladies spoke of you, for I think when people judge 
 another harshly, they do show more their own char- 
 acter, than that of the person they condemn." 
 
 " I ask for no better champion than you," he 
 said with a nice smile, " to defend my cause against 
 myself and against others." 
 
 " I want," I said timidly, " to show my recog- 
 nition of your kindness, for three times you have 
 come to my succor; I must think you kind there- 
 fore." 
 
 " Not so very kind after all," he said, " for I 
 confess the first time I saw you in the train going
 
 196 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 to Newport, my curiosity was awakened; you re- 
 minded me of someone." 
 
 " My Cousin Romola ? " I asked ; " they say I 
 resemble her." 
 
 " Yes, your Cousin Romola," he answered. 
 
 " You know her well? " I asked again. 
 
 " I knew her well ; but let us talk of you that 
 is more interesting." 
 
 " I thought you liked not young girls." 
 
 " This young girl interests me. You looked to 
 me on our first meeting like a little princess wan- 
 dering alone, unguarded." 
 
 " Angelique was there," I said. 
 
 " Hardly a conscientious duenna, for she was 
 soon asleep. I wanted to hear you speak again. 
 Your accent was charming, and as I talked to you 
 I confess you quite bewitched me." 
 
 I reddened with pleasure at what he said. At 
 that moment Mr. Lacy called us. As we arose, 
 Mr. Dale said : " Now I count on your friendly 
 feelings, besides those of Bobby and Mischief, and 
 the dogs and the cats." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said, " I should like to take you in 
 seriousness." 
 
 " That's a promise," he said, " we shall both 
 take each other in seriousness." 
 
 We started off again in the motor. We were 
 not gay and talkative as in the morning. We went 
 fast, the road was bad and we were silent. As
 
 WEST POINT 197 
 
 the day advanced the atmosphere grew more op- 
 pressive, clouds of storm gathered overhead and 
 the thunder made itself heard in the distance. We 
 had then traveled two or three hours when Mrs. 
 Lacy said to her husband, she felt so unwell, she 
 would have to descend at the first station, and con- 
 tinue in a train. She had become more pale ; I 
 think not that she is very strong. 
 
 We were entering a city and stopped at the rail- 
 road. A train for New York was awaited in a 
 few minutes; the Lacys asked me if I would go 
 with them or continue in the machine, which would 
 take me to Garrison, where I had to traverse the 
 Hudson. I was hesitating how to answer, as I 
 did not want to enter a hot train, when Mr. Dale 
 said he would look after me and see me safely to 
 West Point. 
 
 Our partings from the Lacys were hurried, as 
 they had to hasten to catch their train, and thus 
 he and I continued our journey together. I felt 
 happy to be alone with him, and I think the storm 
 in the air also did excite my nerves. 
 
 We were passing through a desert country when 
 the first loud rolling of thunder burst forth, and 
 the hills echoed the sound ; at the same moment the 
 auto stopped, and the chauffeur turned round to 
 tell us a pneumatic had burst. Big drops of rain 
 began to fall ; no house was to be seen. Mr. Dale 
 jumped out, and said he would explore for a house
 
 198 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 or barn, and as the chauffeur began to jack up the 
 car, I had also to descend. 
 
 In a moment Mr. Dale returned saying he had 
 found a small shed over the crest of the hill. The 
 chauffeur remained with the machine, and Mr. Dale 
 throwing a rug over our shoulders as a protection 
 to the increasing rain, we ran together, like Paul 
 and Virginia caught by the tornado. 
 
 We found a little open shed near the road; it 
 faced the valley below, arad overlooked the horizon 
 of hills and black clouds. We had hardly entered 
 our shelter when a torrential rain descended, and 
 the sky was torn by zigzags of lightning, while 
 great claps of thunder followed each other closely. 
 
 " Are you frightened ? " Mr. Dale asked. 
 
 " Oh, but no ! " I answered, " I adore to watch 
 the clouds; all the mysteries of the sky approach the 
 earth in a great storm." 
 
 We stood in silence awed by this grand display 
 of nature's powers. The thunder increasingly 
 shook the ground. 
 
 " The vibration," I said, " reminds me of ava- 
 lanches in the Alps." 
 
 ' Yes," he answered, " I once witnessed a hail 
 storm in the Veldt a terrible sight, for as I 
 crouched in a cave, all around me the vegetation 
 was reduced to pulp and a herd of sheep were stoned 
 to death." 
 
 " I am glad you were safe," I said, and at that
 
 WEST POINT 199 
 
 instant a flash of lightning blinded our eyes, and 
 we were deafened by a terrific roll of thunder. A 
 tree before us was covered by fire, the flames hissed 
 over it and then vanished in the earth. Instinc- 
 tively I seized his hand, and he drew me toward 
 him, for the danger was very near. I was not 
 afraid but I trembled with excitement, and I felt 
 it was good to be protected by a strong man, as 
 if nothing now could do me harm. 
 
 The rain began to lessen, the lightning faintly 
 quivered and the storm clouds sailed grandly away ; 
 across the sky a rainbow elevated its shining curve, 
 a promise of safety and of sweet peace. 
 
 There was no more reason for our standing so 
 near together; he left my side; nature was smiling 
 and the sun reappeared; only the tree was scorched 
 and blackened. 
 
 "The car is coming," he said, and in truth it 
 approached; he hailed the chauffeur; the grass was 
 soaked we had to traverse. " I will carry you 
 across," and taking me in his arms, he lifted me 
 easily. 
 
 It lasted but an instant but the sensation was in- 
 describable ! . 
 
 The hood of the machine was raised, and under 
 the cover we sat near together with the rugs 
 wrapped around us, in a sort of obscurity. I was 
 emotioned and happy, and we did not talk; rapidly 
 we ran over the smooth road, with all the perfumes
 
 200 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 of the damp verdure penetrating to us in a man- 
 ner I think is intoxicating. After a time, I know 
 not if it were long or short, we drew into a village. 
 
 " Stop here," he commanded and we drew up 
 before a house called " Maple Inn." 
 
 " It is after six o'clock," he said, " and you must 
 have something to eat, for you will not reach home 
 till very late." 
 
 We entered the inn; a clerk more polite than 
 they usually are here in hotels came up to me and 
 said: 
 
 " Will you have a room for the night, Miss or 
 Madam ? " he added seeing Mr. Dale following me. 
 
 I became scarlet, but Mr. Dale said quietly 
 
 " We only wish tea served at once," and then 
 to me " And would you like a room to rest for 
 a while?" 
 
 " Oh! no! " I said, " I am not fatigued at all." 
 
 We had the merriest little repast imaginable, and 
 were alone in the dining room. Mr. Dale has 
 traveled all over the world, and he told me of 
 many funny and interesting experiences, then he 
 asked me about my life in Europe and of my family, 
 and I described to him my dull existence there, 
 and as I spoke of the life I was so soon going back 
 to, a cloud of sadness enveloped me. 
 
 " Of course," I said, " just abandoning America 
 is to me most terrible, for I do love her so, and all 
 the people here, except perhaps one or two "
 
 WEST POINT 201 
 
 (thinking of Cousin Henry and Cousin Carolina), 
 " but what makes it more difficult for me to dwell 
 over there, is, that my mother so much wants me 
 to marry; it is not agreeable for her to conduct 
 in society so old a daughter, when she does look 
 so young. But, I will not be forced against my 
 inclination to marry a European, nor will I con- 
 sent to marry without love an American for the 
 joy of living here. Perhaps thus I shall be an 
 old maid," and I sighed. 
 
 He looked at me thoughtfully as I spoke, but 
 he seemed not to find words to answer me, and 
 abruptly he arose from table, we having finished 
 eating and said: 
 
 " I am going to telegraph and let your grand- 
 mother know when she can expect you." 
 
 I remained by myself, puzzled by new ideas and 
 feelings which disturbed me, for they had no shape 
 nor could I express them clearly to myself. I 
 sat on the floor and played with a kitten which had 
 strayed into the room. He returned, and we im- 
 mediately started off again, the top of the car 
 being opened at my request. 
 
 The last part of our journey was like a dream. 
 The air was cool, drops of rain hung on the leaves, 
 the sky was blue, with a few pink clouds colored 
 by the setting sun, and the birds were twittering 
 gently their tender good-nights. 
 
 I did never in my life feel so perfectly happy!
 
 202 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 After a while, the motor taking a too rapid curve, 
 a rug fell out; we stopped and the chauffeur had 
 to go back to get it. Everything around us was 
 still, a silence full of sweet mysteries. The new 
 moon appeared above some great elms, to complete 
 the beauty of the evening. 
 
 " Oh ! " I said softly, " I wish I were a poet to 
 fill the universe with symbols; even I have had 
 many fancies. When I was little I used to pray 
 to the evening star, thinking my dear father dwelt 
 there and could see me." I interrupted myself to 
 look at him to see if he were laughing, but no, his 
 expression was full of sympathy. 
 
 " Go on," he said, " tell me more." 
 
 " And then," I continued, " I love the language 
 of the flowers, a pansy means a thought, a for- 
 get-me-not a request." 
 
 He smiled at me, and I felt I could have confi- 
 dence in him; the long day together had made us 
 friends. 
 
 We continued on our way. The moon rose 
 higher and the stars shone brighter one by one. 
 
 We reached Garrison after eight; Mr. Dale 
 seemed agitated lest we should not catch the boat; 
 it reminded me of Prince Ulrich's anxiety on the 
 little island, and I was diverted thereby. 
 
 Why should one be disturbed by the sentiment 
 of the conventions in a country where chaperons
 
 WEST POINT 203 
 
 are not really necessary, and where men's honest 
 intentions ought to excite no distrust? 
 
 The ferry boat was at the point of departure, 
 so we successfully took it, leaving the automobile 
 behind which was to join the Lacys the next day. 
 We stood forward on the boat and watched the 
 river, whose waters seemed quite black, except 
 where the moon cast a silvery light on the ripples. 
 
 " Well," he said, " our journey is coming to an 
 end." 
 
 " Oh, yes," I answered sadly, " I suppose you go 
 to New York at once." 
 
 " My train," he answered, " leaves West Point in 
 
 two hours." 
 
 
 
 " Oh, then," I said gladly, " we have two more 
 hours together, for you must come to my grand- 
 mother's and wait. I am sure she will be content 
 to meet you." 
 
 " I have," he said, " the honor of knowing your 
 grandmother, and I shall be glad to see her again." 
 
 And thus I felt joyous once more. At the 
 landing the carriage was waiting, for he had tele- 
 phoned from Garrison, and it was about nine o'clock 
 when we reached the house. 
 
 I had not realized how glad I would be to see 
 my dear grandmother again, and I embraced her 
 more tenderly than anybody before in my life. 
 She received Mr. Dale in her kind, gracious man-
 
 204 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ner while I explained how he had taken care of 
 me after the Lacys left. She had made the dinner 
 to wait until this late hour. As we sat at table 
 in animated conversation, and I looked from her 
 to him, I thought that never could three people 
 be happier together. 
 
 As we left the dining room she put her hand 
 to my forehead saying : " Are you feverish, 
 Yvonne? you are flushed and your eyes are un- 
 naturally brilliant." 
 
 " Oh, but no, dear Grandmamma," I answered, 
 " I am perfectly well, not even tired ; it is the effect 
 of the grand air all day." 
 
 And then he had to leave, and a sort of anguish 
 seized my heart, for I might never speak to him 
 or see him again. As he held my hand a little 
 lengthily for good-bye the only thing I said was 
 " Don't forget Anna Engel." 
 
 He smiled and answered : " I shall not forget." 
 
 He went, and all words of farewell were left 
 unspoken. 
 
 I suddenly did become terribly fatigued, and I 
 bade my grandmother good-night. I went to bed 
 but was too agitated to sleep; I arose and I have 
 written all these pages in my journal. My head 
 is burning, my hands are cold, perhaps I have fever 
 after all.
 
 XX 
 
 AUGUST 1 5th. These days following, I feel 
 myself all funny, so restless and yet so 
 fatigued, and all my thoughts concentrate on one 
 subject or rather on one person. It no longer 
 amuses me or makes me angry when Angelique 
 scolds; she was perfectly horrified at the condition 
 of my clothes which I had thrown into my box at 
 Lenox. I want to be alone, and I promenade my- 
 self in solitary places, where I can be quiet, and 
 think, and think. . . . 
 
 My grandmother asks me no questions why I 
 appear troubled ; I am so grateful she does not 
 inquire; for I should know not what to answer; 
 yet she is interested in all I tell her of the people 
 and of the distractions of Newport and Bar Har- 
 bor, and of my experiences in the Settlement. I 
 told her the sad story of Anna Engel, to whom I 
 have sent some money; I wish to pay her pension 
 at the Sanitarium at Rilldale, for I am to receive 
 from my grandmother an allowance of two hun- 
 dred dollars a month, to be given to me also in 
 Europe. My grandmother said she would pay half 
 
 205
 
 206 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 the pension and that she would write to Mr. Dale 
 to find out what it cost ; she asked me : 
 
 " Have you any message to send him, for he 
 has been very kind to you." 
 
 I had told her of my two meetings in the train and 
 how I had lost my way to his house, and she knew 
 I had been under his protection in the automobile ; 
 for some unknown reason I blushed now at her 
 question. 
 
 " Oh, Grandmamma," I answered, " I know not 
 what kind of message I can send." 
 
 " Well," she said, smiling as she prepared her- 
 self to write, " I shall thank him for his excellent 
 care of my little girl." 
 
 " Oh, it is so strange," I said, " the different 
 opinions that people have of him. To me he has 
 been kind; Bobby and Mischief and animals like 
 him. Do you think, Grandmamma, that he is 
 good?" 
 
 " I also like him," said my grandmother, " but 
 I should not qualify him by simply calling him 
 good. He has excellent qualities, some of which 
 he has never developed. Very early in life he was 
 his own master, with no one to be responsible to. 
 His father died leaving a large fortune. His 
 mother was an invalid; he was devoted to her; 
 he sacrificed a year of college to accompany her 
 abroad, taking her from one health resort to an- 
 other. She had consumption. In those days
 
 WEST POINT 207 
 
 warm climates were considered essential, and doc- 
 tors had not attained sufficient knowledge to open 
 windows; I remember visiting her in stifling hot 
 rooms." 
 
 " That is perhaps why he has a Consumptive 
 Home," I said, " although he does not avow the 
 real reason of his interest." 
 
 " I have no doubt of it," said my grandmother, 
 " he prefers calling it a fad. His mother died 
 when he was twenty, and he then traveled exten- 
 sively. A year or two later, a young boy was left 
 in his charge." 
 
 " It was Bobby," I said, " he adores his uncle." 
 
 " Well he may," continued my grandmother, 
 " for Herbert took him into his own house until 
 Robert was of age to be sent to school, and in 
 every way he proved himself, an efficient and affec- 
 tionate guardian. But unfortunately Herbert's 
 career has been that of the rich young man; every 
 wish granted without the savor of longing; no 
 object to work for; no one to be answerable to. 
 He experimented in various directions, studied 
 law for a year, engineering the next, was a secre- 
 tary of Embassy abroad for a while. He excelled 
 in every game. Society opened her arms to him; 
 but in the last ten years, after a severe disappoint- 
 ment, he has kept aloof." 
 
 "Was he in love with somebody? " I asked hesi- 
 tatingly.
 
 208 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ' Yes, the story is well known. He was en- 
 gaged to your cousin Romola, but she changed her 
 mind suddenly and married the Duke of Fairfield.'' 
 
 " Oh, how could she ! " I exclaimed, " the Duke 
 looks like a wilted cornstalk, and to prefer him to 
 Mr. Dale who is so noble and strong! " 
 
 My grandmother looked at me and smiled. " I 
 am afraid Romola was very undiscriminating, to 
 say the least; so she became a duchess and Herbert 
 Dale became a cynic; his idol was shattered. He 
 turned his own enthusiasms to ridicule, and began 
 to distrust other people's motives." 
 
 " I see now," I said, " why he seems sometimes 
 scornful and bitter; oh, Grandmamma, you have 
 made me understand him so much better, and your 
 judgment is so just; but how did you thus know 
 him well?" 
 
 " His mother was my friend, and a few years ago 
 when I was staying at Lenox, he had a fall, hunting. 
 He was alone at the hotel, so I invited him to stay 
 at my cottage. His gratitude was touching, for the 
 little I did was only a pleasure. I found he had an 
 intelligent, well cultivated mind. He knew I would 
 not tolerate any cynical pose; he was therefore 
 natural, and showed a far gentler, kinder nature 
 than he himself is perhaps aware of, or than he 
 is generally credited with." 
 
 " Oh ! I am sure you are right," I exclaimed. 
 "I knew he had a generous heart!" And I ab-
 
 WEST POINT 209 
 
 sorbed myself in a reverie while my grandmother 
 recommenced her correspondence. 
 
 This conversation took place two days ago. 
 Yesterday I was sitting under a willow tree in the 
 garden, with a book in my hand I was not reading, 
 when I saw coming towards me an officer, in the 
 American uniform which at first had given me such 
 a thrill of patriotic joy it was Lieutenant Hill! 
 I had not thought of him at all lately, and as I 
 rose to shake hands with him I felt all confused. 
 
 He looked at me for a moment very earnestly, 
 then said : 
 
 " Yvonne, I must have one more talk with you, 
 before I can be certain that I am doomed to give 
 you up." 
 
 We sat down and I felt discouraged: for what 
 could our conversation change? I had written I 
 would not marry him, I knew more strongly than 
 ever now that it was impossible: even his uniform 
 did not excite in me the same sentiment as before. 
 
 " Listen to me, Dearest," he said, " and let me 
 plead my cause once more. Our letters have been 
 unsatisfactory. You do not seem to understand 
 how much, how passionately, I love you. Your last 
 letter breaking our engagement sounded so heart- 
 less, I could scarcely believe it came from you." 
 
 " I wrote in the train, perhaps in a hurry," I mur- 
 mured. 
 
 " You wrote in a hurry, Yvonne, when you knew 
 14
 
 210 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 your words meant the breaking of a man's life 
 and happiness ? " 
 
 There was deep reproach in his voice, yet his 
 look was kind, and I felt full of remorses to have 
 treated him thus. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Lieutenant," I said, " forgive me, 
 please forgive me, I had no intention to be to you 
 cruel. I am so terribly sorry if I have broken 
 your life and happiness. I affianced myself with 
 you without any experience of such things; now 
 I have seen more young men and learnt a great deal, 
 and veritably, do you think it would be right for 
 me to marry you without a great love? " 
 
 He looked at me with knitted brows, as if study- 
 ing my face. 
 
 ' You are a child still in many ways, for you 
 know nothing about love and real affection ; and yet 
 how like a woman, to shift the responsibility of 
 your refusal onto my shoulders. No, of course, 
 you must not marry me, if you do not love me ; 
 I do not want you if that is the case," and then sud- 
 denly bending over my hand and pressing it to his 
 lips, he cried " that is not true, I want you, 
 Yvonne; I want you, my Darling; with every long- 
 ing a man is capable of, I want you; after think- 
 ing of you so long as my own, it breaks my heart 
 to give you up." 
 
 As his dark head was bent before me, I had the 
 strongest sensation of compassion, and of affection,
 
 WEST POINT 211 
 
 for what can stir more a young girl's heart than 
 to see a man grieve so at renouncing her? With 
 the hand he had left free I timidly touched his hair 
 and whispered: 
 
 " Dear Mr. Lieutenant, if it were only not in 
 marriage you wanted me, I should like so much 
 to be like my grandmother, able to console you." 
 
 He raised his head and laughing bitterly he said : 
 " Indeed that 's an original idea for a girl to offer 
 to the man she refuses, to be a grandmother to 
 him ; they usually in similar cases call it a sister." 
 
 I was offended at his tone, and said, " Lieuten- 
 ant Hill, I hope you may become a general in our 
 army, but I assure you, you will never become my 
 husband." 
 
 He paced up and down, and paid no attention 
 to what I said; then he stopped before me. 
 " Yvonne, our last talk shall not end in a quarrel. 
 I am enough of a man and enough of a soldier, 
 to accept marching orders, bravely. I leave you, 
 and before I go I wish to beg you not to be sorry 
 on my account; my pain must in no way distress 
 you; I thank you for the unutterably happy mo- 
 ments you have given me; I do not regret that 
 you entered my life; your memory will remain 
 ever as a vision of loveliness, and if but no," 
 he sighed, "there will be no if; you have changed 
 in these six weeks ; you are no longer the confid- 
 ing little girl I first met. I have of late reproached
 
 212 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 myself that perhaps I had taken advantage of your 
 inexperience " 
 
 " Oh, but no," I interrupted, " dear Mr. Lieu- 
 tenant, make to yourself no reproach; it was I 
 who was hasty and thoughtless; you have been 
 so very kind, that I shall be grateful to you always ; 
 and do you know I think that being engaged to you, 
 has saved me from marrying two other people I 
 did not really love." 
 
 I thought he would be pleased at my confiding 
 to him this, but no, not at all, his voice was severe 
 as he said: 
 
 " What do you mean? " 
 
 " I cannot explain," I said, " only that two gen- 
 tlemen would have persisted in making me their 
 court, if I had not said I was engaged."' 
 
 " I am then to understand," he said bitterly, 
 " that our engagement has served as a useful pre- 
 text to put an end to some of your flirtations." 
 
 " Oh ! do not speak to me like this," I said half 
 frightened, for his voice sounded so harsh. " I 
 never tried, as an amusement to make anybody love 
 me, I should not know how." 
 
 " Forgive me," he cried, " I am a beast to say 
 such things ! Nobody who sees you can help loving 
 you, and I really feel sorry for the other poor 
 devils. The fact is, you know nothing about love, 
 your heart is like a closed fknyer bud; if I only 
 could have inspired you with a little love for me!
 
 WEST POINT 213 
 
 I thought the warmth of my passion could awaken 
 some response. But I will no longer torment you ; 
 good-bye, Yvonne, good-bye, my sweetest Darling." 
 
 He pressed my hand so hard I would have 
 screamed had I not thought I deserved pain to 
 make so nice a young officer to suffer, and as he 
 went he looked once more upon me as if the effort 
 to separate himself from me was immense. 
 
 And in the same way as after Prince Ulrich had 
 gone, my heart again was much troubled, and I felt 
 distressed. 
 
 I entered the drawing room where my grand- 
 mother was sitting. She looked up at me. " What 
 is the matter my little Yvonne, you do not look 
 well?" 
 
 I could restrain my emotions no longer; I fell 
 kneeling at her feet, and hiding my head in her 
 lap, I sobbed. 
 
 " Dear little girl," she murmured and stroked 
 my hair softly; then I became calmer and sitting 
 on a footstool at her feet, I said : 
 
 " Dear Grandmamma, you are so wonderful, you 
 never ask me questions but I always feel you under- 
 stand." 
 
 " Long ago," she answered, " I was young my- 
 self, and we old people only require a little memory 
 to sympathize with the young. All your youthful 
 emotions revive my past ones. Alas, my darling, 
 I wish my knowledge could assist your inexperi-
 
 214 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ence, but we elders can only look on, and watch 
 tenderly. My wisdom can not remove a single 
 pebble from your path. You must know and feel 
 them for yourself." 
 
 And thus she soothed and consoled me by her 
 infinite affection, asking nothing in return.
 
 XXI 
 
 AUGUST iQth. I have just had a very disa- 
 greeable interview with Cousin Henry. He 
 came yesterday, and all the afternoon he tried to 
 persuade me to walk or drive with him, but 
 I would not, and took every precaution not to 
 be alone with him. He made me no reproaches 
 about my shortening my visit to Lenox, but said 
 he had never been so disappointed in his life, for 
 he had intended doing so many things with me. 
 During the evening he tried to render himself 
 agreeable in all sorts of ways, and if I dropped 
 anything he precipitated himself to pick it up. 
 Yet he seemed not at his ease, and very early I 
 went to bed, congratulating myself that I had 
 avoided what I felt was a great danger a pro- 
 posal from Cousin Henry. I have no supersti- 
 tion about broken mirrors, spilt salt, going under 
 a ladder, and the number 13, but I have a strong 
 feeling that the number 3 is always lucky and suc- 
 cessful, and Cousin Henry, I was determined was 
 not to be the third American to ask me in marriage. 
 But I have been nearly caught by my habit of 
 rising early. The carriage had been ordered at 
 twenty minutes to eight, to conduct him to the 
 
 215
 
 216 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 station. At half past seven I descended into the 
 garden, taking the precaution not to pass under 
 his windows, but he must have seen me from the 
 dining room, for he rushed out into the garden, 
 with his mouth full as I perceived when he spoke 
 to me: 
 
 ' Yvonne, how good of you to give me a chance 
 to see you again, because " 
 
 " Oh, Cousin Henry," I said, wondering how 
 I could gain time, " you must not think me good, 
 I did not intend to see you, please return to your 
 breakfast." 
 
 " Hang my breakfast, it 's no matter, I want 
 before I go to ask you a question." 
 
 " Wait, Cousin Henry," I said quickly, and di- 
 rected our steps towards the avenue when I knew 
 the carriage would arrive soon. " I have also a 
 question to ask you." 
 
 " What is it, my dear little Yvonne ? " he said 
 with an insupportable tenderness and making the 
 goo-goo eyes Mischief had spoken of. He also 
 tried to take my hand, but I put it behind my back 
 for safety. 
 
 "Excuse me, Cousin Henry," I said with dignity, 
 " I am not your dear little Yvonne ; I am not dear, 
 I am not little and I am not yours." 
 
 " We are wasting time," he said impatiently 
 then wishing to be pleasant " and what was your 
 question ? "
 
 WEST POINT 217 
 
 " I want very much to know," I said with great 
 gravity, " how my dear little toad is getting on 
 with Cousin Carolina." He flushed very red but 
 I kept on talking and approached nearer to the 
 porch. " You see, Cousin Henry, Israel was a 
 present from Torn, whom I am so fond of, and 
 I know Cousin Carolina has toads in horror, and 
 I was also troubled lest the little insects at Lenox 
 might be different from those at Bar Harbor, and 
 therefore not agree with Israel." 
 
 To my relief I saw the carriage arriving, but 
 Cousin Henry stopped suddenly behind a hydrangea 
 bush, and saiid very solemnly: 
 
 " Yvonne, I am afraid you are making fun of 
 me. Never have I seen a girl so exasperating and 
 elusive as you are, and at the same time so at- 
 tractive. I suppose I shall be a fool, but I am 
 impelled to tell you " 
 
 "Oh, no!" I exclaimed, "tell me nothing; do 
 not become a fool; please go; you will miss your 
 train " 
 
 Before I could defend myself, he seized me in 
 his arms and kissed me violently, and while I tried 
 to recover my breath, he disappeared round the 
 hydrangea bush and drove off in the carriage. 
 
 I have never been so furious in all my life, to 
 be thus embraced by that detestable man. I ran 
 up into my room to wash from my face the offense 
 of his kiss. I rubbed and I rubbed. Even if he
 
 218 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 is my cousin, he has no right to embrace me in 
 so passionate a manner; but at least he made me 
 no proposal, and of that I rejoice. 
 
 I have busied myself since I have been here with 
 my new large correspondence, for I have promised 
 Lily Stuart and several other young girls to write 
 regularly and very often; of course, since I am no 
 longer betrothed to Lieutenant Hill, I write not to 
 young men. 
 
 I had a letter from Evelyn in answer to one of 
 mine, but we neither of us did speak of Mr. Dale. 
 
 Here is a letter from Mischief : 
 
 " Dearest, darling Yvonne, 
 
 " I cannot bear to have you go back to that 
 horrid Fraiilein you told me about; my governess 
 is also a beast. I love you so much, my sweetest! 
 I am quite jealous of Tom and his toad. I think 
 Nancy is engaged to the Marquis; I saw him kiss 
 her. I heard Nancy and Romola talk about Evelyn 
 the other day ; they said she was in love with an old 
 bow of Romola's, that is why she has taken up 
 charity and given up society. I think Evelyn is a 
 humbug ; anyway she is nutty ! Good-bye, my dear, 
 dear Yvonne ; all my thoughts will follow you across 
 the ocean, but its bigness is not as big as my long- 
 ing for you. 
 
 " Your adoring and lonely, 
 
 " MISCHIEF."
 
 WEST POINT 219 
 
 Of course I know who Evelyn is in love with. 
 Did she not take by force his picture in the 
 journal from me? Evelyn will see him often and 
 I never! Thus many doubts and thoughts disturb 
 me; my last days are filled with the sadness of my 
 departure. 
 
 I have pressed a few flowers and leaves, and I 
 have put in a little sandal-wood box some earth. 
 But oh, how lifeless are the things detached from 
 where they belong, and how little they give back the 
 sensation of that which one worships and adores 
 they are like a curl cut from a beloved head 
 yet I shall treasure them in a foreign land.
 
 ON THE STEAMER
 
 XXII 
 
 AUGUST 23rd. I have stood on deck taking 
 leave of my dear country, until the shores 
 faded in the distance. Then I descended to my 
 cabin with my heart full of sorrow, and full of 
 feelings I cannot express. I do not understand 
 why my thoughts are so shapeless, for until now 
 I could easily describe all my different sensations; 
 that power is gone ; my soul is mute and it pains 
 me like a hidden suffering. 
 
 Of course, I mourn above all at leaving my 
 grandmother; nothing could surpass her sweetness 
 and goodness to me ; nobody has cared for me 
 before as she has, or shown me affection in so tender 
 and discreet a manner, and yet an undefinable regret 
 possesses me more and more. 
 
 I am sitting in my cabin; it is filled with the 
 odor of flowers, which renders it like a mortuary 
 chapel; they give me as little pleasure as if I were 
 a departing corpse surrounded by the tributes of 
 friends. At first I opened with interest all the 
 boxes addressed to me, but now the interest is gone. 
 
 In a box five feet long are some red roses with 
 a card signed " Your adoring and disconsolate 
 
 223
 
 224 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 Bobby." A basket of all sorts of flowers with an 
 enormous pink ribbon is from Count Janos; Lily 
 Stuart and Mr. and Mrs. Lacy also sent flowers. 
 Cousin Henry sent flowers and fruits; he met me 
 this morning at the train and accompanied me to 
 the steamer, where he put me under the care of an 
 old lady, a friend of Cousin Carolina. Cousin 
 Henry's manner was composed, as if he had for- 
 gotten his outburst behind the hydrangea bush; I 
 was cold and dignified; thus our adieus were not 
 emotional. 
 
 Dear little Tom sent me a box of Maillard sweets, 
 happily he put no animals within; there is a pack- 
 age of books from Evelyn, and from Mischief these 
 verses : 
 
 TO MY LOVE 
 
 Descending from the sky above, 
 
 To all the winds that blow, 
 I whisper words of burning love 
 
 That from my lips do flow. 
 
 For thee, my sweet one they are meant, 
 
 Receive them when they come ; 
 Many a tear on them was spent, 
 
 And sighs accomp'ny some. 
 
 For thou hast gone far, far away 
 
 And I am left to mourn, 
 Still by the breeze day after day 
 
 My heart to thee is borne.
 
 ON THE STEAMER 225 
 
 I do not comprehend how all these tokens of 
 affection from my friends do leave me so indiffer- 
 ent. Two months ago, when I never had received 
 a single bouquet, I should have been excited and 
 enchanted. I have grown very old in these two 
 months, I am like another person. All my thoughts 
 dwell now in the past, and I look into the future 
 without hope or joy. 
 
 One hour later. I was still sitting in my cabin 
 when Angelique brought me a little box, she said 
 had been overlooked, it was so small and insig- 
 nificant. I took it with a strange emotion and told 
 Angelique to carry away all the other flowers, I 
 could not suffer them around me. 
 
 After she had gone, I opened the little box; my 
 fingers trembled and my heart palpitated. Inside 
 lay a pansy and a spray of forget-me-nots! No 
 card was within, no card was necessary ! 
 
 As I gazed upon these tokens my eyes filled with 
 tears ; could any offering have been more full of 
 knowledge and sympathy ? He had remembered my 
 saying on our wonderful drive that a pansy repre- 
 sented a thought, the forget-me-not a request. Oh ! 
 how I kissed them! for surely his hand alone had 
 touched them, and my heart glowed as if something 
 loving and kind had awakened it. Like Pandora, 
 hope I had found after disappointment ; hope, which 
 had neither shape nor substance, but then it was 
 hope.
 
 PART II
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS
 
 XXIII 
 
 SEPTEMBER 26th. I wonder if philosophy 
 makes sad hearts less heavy! I have read 
 much lately, seeking to grasp new thoughts like 
 persons blind holding out their fingers to find a 
 guidance. 
 
 Nearly one month have I been in this hated 
 country, in my step-father's castle in Hanover, and 
 my little book have I not opened ; no, what interest 
 is there in uttering laments? but now I will lament 
 no longer and try to find cause of laughter in my 
 own distress like a true philosopher, or in the foibles 
 of my companions which must turn my sighs to 
 smiles. Brave people always laugh, even with tears 
 in their eyes. 
 
 My days are occupied in this manner : 
 Breakfast at eight, all the family assembled. My 
 step- father at the head, quite unmistakably; my 
 mother opposite, pouring out the coffee. She likes 
 it when people say we look like sisters and, in truth, 
 she seems not very middle aged, although she is 
 nearly forty. Sometimes a guest sits at her right, 
 but it is always certain to be a dull person. Then 
 comes Fraiilein, that odious woman, who speaks 
 
 231
 
 232 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 but to scold; next to her Wilhelmine, aged ten; 
 gentle, pretty and perfectly stupid, without a drop 
 of American blood to add a little vivacity to her 
 German nature. Next Mamma on her left sits 
 Hugo; a nice enough boy, but who hates girls and 
 women, and who thinks of nothing but of the Cadet 
 School which he enters soon ; he was very offended 
 with me for saying West Point was the best military 
 school in the world, but now we are friends again, 
 for I gave him a knife with six blades. His tutor 
 comes next, Herr Candidat Cornelius Hasemann. 
 He is tall, with longish hair, very near sighted, and 
 Hugo is always hiding his spectacles whereby he 
 becomes blind; his hands and feet are enormous, 
 and look like a misfit on his arms and legs, and he 
 is much embarrassed by them. At the first repast 
 I began a conversation with him as if he were an 
 American young man, but he was so shy he became 
 very red and his pinch-nose fell off into his soup; 
 the family stopped talking to listen to me. What 
 I said was this: 
 
 " Herr Candidat, do you not think that a govern- 
 ment for the people and by the people makes a 
 better nation than one crushed under the rule of 
 an autocrat ? " 
 
 He did not answer, there was silence then my 
 step- father spoke : " Yvonne, you forget in foreign 
 countries I represent my Emperor and I cannot tol- 
 erate at my table radical doctrines."
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 233 
 
 " Indeed," said Mamma, " Yvonne since her re- 
 turn from America shows an independent spirit 
 which is most unpleasant. She likes to be alone; 
 she no longer courtesies in the proper manner; she 
 walks as if she were indifferent to her surroundings, 
 and altogether she has changed for the worse." 
 
 " Ach," said Fraiilein in her rasping voice, 
 " Yvonne has become quite American ; I might say 
 a Republican; she crosses her legs, and swings her 
 arms, and cares not in what folds her dresses lie, 
 and she no longer knits or sews, but reads all day 
 long." 
 
 " And," piped up Wilhelmine, " she eats not all 
 upon her plate, and kisses not Papa's hand any 
 more." 
 
 " Hand kissing is absurd," said Hugo, who only 
 presses his nose on ladies' hands. 
 
 " Hush, children," said my step-father sternly, 
 " you were not questioned, therefore you need not 
 speak." 
 
 I think my silence was noble, for I did not reply 
 to any of these accusations ; if you know you cannot 
 persuade people it is more superior to leave them in 
 their dark ignorance. 
 
 I have obtained the permission to receive Latin 
 lessons from Herr Hasemann, and we have profound 
 conversations about histories and governments ; I 
 think he hides a socialistic soul beneath his long 
 hair, and I think they are growing together, for he
 
 234 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 never cuts his hair, and he becomes more and more 
 interested in what I tell him about America; thus 
 in my glowing descriptions of my dear country, I 
 forget my misery. He is the only person here who 
 disapproves not of me, and so our lessons are a 
 pleasure to us both. 
 
 Fraiilein used to assist at them at first, but the 
 arid beginnings of Latin interested her not, so she 
 leaves us now in peace. She has a very plebeian 
 nature; she is always interested in the servants' af- 
 fairs of the heart, and listens to Angelique's recitals 
 of my actions in America ; she questioned me about 
 Prince Ulrich's visit, but I would say nothing. In 
 truth one can be a plebeian without being a Re- 
 publican; between the two there is a great dis- 
 tinction. 
 
 On knowing better my brother's tutor, I find he 
 also like myself is searching for wider horizons. 
 I give an example of one of my lessons with him. 
 At opposite sides of a table we sit: 
 
 " Comtesse Yvonne, be so gracious as to conju- 
 gate the verb esse" 
 
 I begin " Sum, es, est, sumus, esies, sunt." 
 
 He remains with his mouth wide open and stares 
 at me while I speak, as if forgetting he were giving 
 me a lesson, and then jumps in his chair and runs 
 his long fingers through his long hair before ques- 
 tioning me again. 
 
 The study of Latin grammar is exhausting, and
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 235 
 
 in the same manner that Lieutenant Hill and I 
 drifted from American History into our personal 
 histories, so Candidat Hasemann and I exchange 
 our reflections. 
 
 I ask him : " Are you really going to become a 
 pastor ? " 
 
 " Ach ya, Comtesse Yvonne, that is my vocation 
 or at least my career; for eight generations in my 
 family the eldest son has been a pastor ; my father 
 naturally wishes me to follow the tradition." 
 
 " Ho\v will you feel," I ask, " when you enter 
 the pulpit to preach the first time?" for I could 
 well imagine him stumbling up the steps in his shy, 
 awkward way, and looking wildly and speechless 
 upon a congregation. 
 
 " Ach mein Gott! the thought fills me with fear, 
 for I feel that I have no aptitude for my profession. 
 I know not how to express the thoughts that throb 
 in my brain; I am a scholar, I love my books, I 
 reverence the great teachers; and then Comtesse 
 Yvonne dare I tell you? but the philosophers, the 
 agnostics, the free thinkers, the socialist doctrinaires, 
 the emancipated spirits have for me a terrible fas- 
 cination ; they seem to possess minds with wings 
 powerful pinions that soar high, while I must crawl 
 along the beaten path, and close my eyes to the broad 
 views of modern times. Have I the right to stand 
 in a pulpit and speak to men of doctrines which I be- 
 lieve not in, or to admonish them in ways of virtue
 
 236 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 towards which I am unable to lead? Ach! my soul 
 is torn with doubts ! " 
 
 He waved his arms in the air. I thought per- 
 haps I could help to emancipate him. 
 
 " Dear Herr Candidat," I said, " why not free 
 yourself and become an independent man? " 
 
 He paced the room ; a chair or two falling to the 
 floor as he knocked into them. " Ach barmherziger 
 Himmel!" he exclaimed, "how can I free myself! 
 I am the weak little stream following the channel 
 cut in the rock of fate, by eight generations of an- 
 cestors. I am the oldest of nine children ; my father 
 has made every sacrifice to send me to the Uni- 
 versity," then stopping suddenly, " this story of 
 myself cannot interest you." 
 
 " Oh, yes," I exclaimed, " it interests me im- 
 mensely, for truly when a person speaks from the 
 heart as you do, Herr Candidat, I could listen all 
 day long." 
 
 He looked at me very gratefully at these words, 
 and sighed and sighed. 
 
 Yesterday we had again wandered away from 
 Latin and seeing that continually he is distressed in 
 his thoughts, I tried to make him feel more at his 
 ease with me. 
 
 " You see, Herr Hasemann," I said, " you and I 
 in this castle can only exchange our aspirations with 
 each other, for no one else would understand. I 
 also make dreams of emancipation; for I am an
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 237 
 
 American, and in my dear country we should both 
 be free. You would not be bound to step into your 
 father's shoes, I mean into his pulpit. In America 
 you could follow your own ambition." 
 
 " Ach, Comtesse Yvonne, if I could shake off my 
 fetters, I would reach upwards and embrace a new 
 career." 
 
 He opened wide his long arms and threw back 
 his head. He looked so ridiculous that had I not 
 pitied him, I should have laughed ; but controlling 
 that unkind impulse, I spoke even more gently than 
 usual. 
 
 " Dear Herr Candidat, why not liberate yourself, 
 and go to America, and show the world you can do 
 great things? " 
 
 " Ach, Comtesse Yvonne ! I have no money, no 
 patronage ! " 
 
 " Perhaps I can help you, by writing to my grand- 
 mother to assist you to become a philosopher. She 
 is very kind and generous." 
 
 " Comtesse Yvonne, you overwhelm me with your 
 goodness. Ach! if only you were not a high born 
 Fraiilein." 
 
 " But I am not," I interrupted eagerly, " I am 
 just like you biirgerlich, I am proud of it ; in 
 my land we are all equal, and I want to beg you not 
 to call me Comtesse Yvonne." 
 
 " What would the Frau Grafin say ? " 
 
 I hesitated : " My mother wishes me called thus
 
 238 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 to make no difference between me and my sister 
 Wilhelmine; before her then perhaps you had better 
 give me the title which in my heart I think odious, 
 but when we are alone remember I like absolute 
 equality." 
 
 " Ach, mem Fraulein! you make me so happy; 
 you think then there is no difference between us? 
 that I am your equal ? " 
 
 " Herr Candidat," I answered with great seri- 
 ousness, " you are my superior, for you work ; people 
 who like myself take no part in the labor of the 
 world are inferior beings. I watch the little ants 
 and the busy bees so active and laborious all day 
 long, and reflect how much more useful creatures 
 of the universe they are than I. Thus I consider 
 you my superior, and you must henceforth have 
 more confidence in yourself." 
 
 " Ach, Fraulein Yvonne, you are as good and 
 wise as you are beautiful." 
 
 Thus a bond of sympathy has established itself 
 between Cornelius Hasemann and me, between 
 our two minds, for otherwise his personality is not 
 in any fashion seductive. 
 
 I also study the English language assiduously 
 so as to make no more mistakes in my turn of 
 phrases. Much of my days I spend locked up in 
 my room, and as I look at the German landscape 
 from my turret it gives me no pleasure ; only the 
 clouds I contemplate, for when driven by an east
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 239 
 
 wind I think they are sailing towards America, and 
 I long to be swept away on their white wings. I 
 am not allowed to walk alone in our park, except 
 in view of the castle. I often sit for hours beneath 
 some great cedars of Lebanon, and I dream and I 
 dream; through the branches I see a bit of blue sky, 
 and I wonder if, in the manner of the earth's ro- 
 tation, that bit of sky has been looked upon by those 
 three thousand miles away. I should like to whisper 
 messages to the sun and moon which illumine all 
 the continents, but I cannot gaze upon the sun, and 
 the moon regards me coldly. I feel with mournful- 
 ness that I am a useless object on the face of the 
 globe; I long to be active and join in the struggle 
 for existence I perceive going on all. around me; 
 down among infinitesimal creatures, up to the busy 
 Chancellor of the Empire. I want to work at some- 
 thing. To be able to weave a basket and place it 
 on the market for sale, would be a contentment. 
 My step-father often takes me to ride, that is my 
 only distraction, and thus my days pass by in heavy 
 monotony.
 
 XXIV 
 
 SEPTEMBER 3<Dth. At last I open my little 
 book not in vain for I have something to re- 
 late. 
 
 The Autumn Manoeuvres are taking place in our 
 neighborhood and the Emperor is staying at the 
 castle of a cousin of my step- father; several officers 
 and a lot of men are quartered with us. 
 
 Yesterday I rode with the gentlemen to the great 
 field where the first review took place, and some of 
 the officers did not consider me like my step- father 
 too young to converse, and we talked quite gaily; 
 this was a surprise to me, for I meant to be sad 
 like a stranger far from my country, but my reserve 
 melted ; I forgot my troubling thoughts ; the younger 
 officers and I, riding through the forest, in the morn- 
 ing air so fresh, formed the rear guard of the cav- 
 alcade. 
 
 We had five German miles to go, and when we 
 arrived at the Camp of Manoeuvre the sight was 
 very imposing. A great line of cavalry was drawn 
 -up awaiting the Emperor's arrival, and when he 
 took his position with his staff on a little hillock 
 above the field, I felt quite excited by the spectacle. 
 
 240
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 241 
 
 A quantity of persons had arrived. I was for- 
 tunate enough to be in the first rank, although this 
 position was the cause of my misadventure. A 
 charge of artillery took place, and down the incline, 
 at a grand speed, came the thunder of the caissons 
 and of the mounted guns. I suppose I was holding 
 my bridle loosely, for my horse suddenly quivered 
 with excitement, and, plunging and rearing before 
 I knew what happened, cleared a little ditch before 
 us and galloped alongside of the troops. 
 
 The noise beside us made him go faster and 
 faster. Soon he was bolting without my having 
 any power to stop him; we gained on the troops, 
 and as we reached the hill where the Emperor was 
 standing, I was at the head of the charge, on a 
 line with the commanding officer. It was wildly 
 exciting, and I raised my hand to salute, while I 
 heard shouts in all directions. Then I realized that 
 unable to guide my horse, I must urge him on, so 
 as not be run down by the battery behind me, and 
 faster we flew. 
 
 I heard a loud command, and I perceived by a 
 superb manoeuvre the whole battalion swerved to 
 the left ; thus I went on without danger, and soon 
 my horse was pacified. I turned round and slowly 
 rode back, stroking my horse and trying to quiet 
 him completely. I perceived an officer riding 
 quickly towards me. It was not a Prussian officer. 
 He wore the Austrian uniform. I recognized 
 16
 
 242 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 Prince Ulrich. He was very pale and bowing to 
 me said : " His Majesty commands your presence." 
 He took my horse's bridle. 
 
 " Prince Ulrich," I said, " it is not necessary for 
 you to hold him, he is quiet now." 
 
 But Prince Ulrich shook his head and kept his 
 hold on my bridle. " You have been in the greatest 
 danger of being trampled on by the whole battery, 
 you must never ride this horse again." 
 
 " Oh, he is my favorite," I exclaimed, " and 
 truly I loved the excitement; it is the first time I 
 have felt myself alive since I have returned to this 
 horrible country." Prince Ulrich looked at me re- 
 proachfully, and I felt suddenly revived the same 
 old feeling for him of respect and sympathy, mixed 
 with impatience at his air of authority and intol- 
 erance. 
 
 "Are you really not happy?" he asked after a 
 moment; his voice was kind, and he was the first 
 who seemed to care about what I felt. 
 
 " No, I am not," I answered, and I felt my eyes 
 moisten, but remembering my resolve of courage, I 
 smiled and held out my hand to him. " I am very 
 happy to see you, Prince Ulrich." 
 
 And he looked so pleased, that I thought it were 
 perhaps better not to say nice things to him ; it is so 
 difficult to measure one's words after a man has 
 made a declaration of love ; if you are nice, he thinks 
 you relent; if you are horrid, he looks distressed; so
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 243 
 
 i 
 
 it was with Lieutenant Hill, and the same with 
 
 Cousin Henry. 
 
 Prince Ulrich held my hand but an instant for 
 we came in view of the Emperor and his staff. One 
 of the Aides advanced and asked, " Is the young 
 lady injured by the fright? " 
 
 " Oh, no," I answered gaily, " I enjoyed it very 
 much." 
 
 Prince Ulrich said sternly, " Be careful how you 
 answer the Emperor." 
 
 His Majesty was very gracious and made me no 
 reproaches, but treated the affair as an accident. I 
 answered in a very proper manner. As another 
 charge of cavalry was coming, he ordered me behind 
 him with an Aide to hold my bridle. My step- 
 father approached me, and I was surprised to see 
 he had been very much worried, for I had thought 
 so little of the danger. 
 
 My mother, who was in a victoria, told me I had 
 made myself ridiculous, and henceforth I should 
 drive with her, which would be an abomination; 
 I had rather stay at home. And thus the incident 
 caused many officers to notice me and be introduced, 
 and I had a very amusing time. 
 
 The dinner at the castle of my step-father's cousin 
 was very gay. The young people sat at a different 
 table, and at the dance afterwards I had more cav- 
 aliers than I could accept. Prince Ulrich danced 
 only with me and with the wife of my step-father's
 
 244 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 cousin. I must say, he looks very handsome in 
 his beautiful Austrian uniform; I wish he liked me 
 instead of loving me, for then we could be such 
 good friends. 
 
 I saw him and my mother in deep conversation, 
 and the result was, this morning I was called to my 
 mother's little sitting-room, and here I inscribe our 
 interview : 
 
 My mother " My dear child, I wish to announce 
 to you that Prince Ulrich of Weissenberg has done 
 you the honor to ask your hand in marriage." 
 
 I " Yes, Mamma, he asked me this summer in 
 America to marry him, and I refused him." 
 
 My mother " Your refusal, my dear child, is 
 of no importance ; you had not reflected what a bril- 
 liant offer you were receiving; your father and I 
 entirely approve of this marriage. The idea may 
 frighten you a little as the Prince has an imposing 
 appearance, as such a grand seigiicur should have, 
 and you may not wish to leave your happy sur- 
 roundings, and marriage is perhaps a little appalling, 
 but" 
 
 I, interrupting " Oh, Mamma, I should be very 
 glad to marry, but I told Prince Ulrich it would 
 never be with a European." 
 
 My mother " You are very silly and obstinate, 
 Yvonne. Remember the Prince belongs to the Or- 
 der of the Golden Fleece ; he is a mediatised noble- 
 man ; his children can marry royalty."
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 245 
 
 I " I care not, Mamma, if my husband wears 
 a little gold mutton round his neck and if his chil- 
 dren marry kings and princes ; I do not wish Prince 
 Ulrich's children to be mine, for my children shall 
 be true Americans." 
 
 My mother, angrily " You are very imperti- 
 nent, Yvonne, and I am very good to be so patient 
 with you. Your conduct is deplorable since you 
 came home. You have taken airs most unbecoming 
 to a young lady. I observed yesterday your free- 
 dom in conversation with gentlemen, which may be 
 tolerated in America where there is no proper re- 
 serve among young people, but here such conduct 
 is judged as fast and immodest." 
 
 I, with indignation " I can assure you, Mamma, 
 that in America, the country in which you were 
 born, and which you have quite forgotten young 
 girls are not fast and immodest; our beautiful free- 
 dom teaches us to care for ourselves, and be pure 
 in mind, and think no evil, and we are respected 
 by men in all conditions of life." 
 
 My mother, laughing disdainfully " You have 
 truly become a red Republican, but you only deserve 
 to be treated as a ridiculous child." 
 
 I, calmly " In that case, dear Mamma, I am too 
 young to be married, and Prince Ulrich knows well 
 my feelings." 
 
 My mother " He spoke to me of some absurd 
 attachment or engagement you had formed, but I
 
 246 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 told him that from what I heard it was a babyish 
 flirtation you had taken too seriously." 
 
 I " What you heard, dear Mamma, could have 
 only been Angelique's opinion reported by Fraiilein, 
 and that I would not value very much." 
 
 My mother, very angry " Go to your room ; 
 your impudence is abominable; you shall stay there 
 until I send for you ; I will tell Fraiilein to lock you 
 in, for I cannot trust you." (Then calling me back 
 as I reached the door) " You shall return henceforth 
 to the schoolroom, which you may be glad to leave 
 to become one of the great ladies of Europe." 
 
 I made no answer but fled to my room in a blue 
 rage. I threw myself on the floor, shaken with 
 dry sobs. Oh! I am so unhappy! If only I could 
 run away. I feel like a stormy petrel shrieking in 
 the dark skies. 
 
 I have just had an excellent idea ; I shall beg 
 Prince Ulrich, for my sake, to marry some queen 
 or royal princess, and then I shall be left in peace. 
 That at least will dissolve for the moment this hor- 
 rid persecution. If I were only twenty-one, I should 
 be free to return to my darling grandmamma; 
 oh, how slowly one gets old when one is young !
 
 XXV 
 
 OCTOBER ist. Twenty- four hours have I 
 been in my room, with bitterness and anger 
 in my heart. How can I wait nearly three years 
 until I am free? I saw this morning the officers 
 riding away to the Camp of Manoeuvre, the one 
 pleasure I might enjoy, but no, there are no pleas- 
 ures for me any more, and my youth will pass 
 away without joy or recreation. To-night is the 
 big ball here in honor of the Emperor. I shall hear 
 the music, and remain imprisoned like a naughty 
 child. 
 
 One person at least is sorry for me, that is Can- 
 didat Hasemann; but I am destined alas! to make 
 him also unhappy. A sheet of paper was slipped un- 
 der the door. In thirty stanzas was written a decla- 
 ration of love beginning: 
 
 " Du herzallcrliebste Yvonne! 
 Mein Schmerz, mein Gliick, und Pein, und Wonne " 
 
 and continuing with the expressions of an ardent 
 love. The signature, Cornelius Hasemann, is so 
 unpoetic I should laugh if my soul was not in 
 pain, but I must make an effort to respect feelings 
 
 247
 
 248 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I cannot 'share, and that even somewhat offend me. 
 At the end of the poem, he said in prose he was 
 leaving the castle for Hamburg, to await my answer, 
 as he feared notwithstanding my encouraging words 
 that his love was hopeless. I do not understand 
 why our talks on philosophy should have such a 
 distressing result; and although his words are hum- 
 ble, it is surely presuming of him to make love to 
 me. 
 
 Again I heard a rustle beneath my door and 
 Hugo's voice saying, " I have brought you an Amer- 
 ican letter." 
 
 The faces of our modern Presidents on stamps 
 are not very heroic, but they always make my heart 
 beat a little faster with pleasure. It was a letter 
 from Anna Engel and I transcribe it, as it has had 
 much influence over my actions: 
 
 "Dearest Miss Carrington: 
 
 " I must write to you, to tell you how happy I 
 am, for, owing to you, I am well and the doctor 
 says I can go to work again in healthy surround- 
 ings, so I am most fortunate. Mr. Dale, who vis- 
 its us, told me yesterday he had found a position 
 for me in a nice family, who are going to San 
 Moritz, and that is just the place to complete my 
 recovery. I thanked him with tears in my eyes, and, 
 dearest Miss Carrington, I look upon you and him 
 as my benefactors, for without you both I should
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 249 
 
 have succumbed to the terrible, White Plague. In 
 my prayers I unite you both when thanking the 
 good God for all His mercies to me. It is two years 
 ago since I came to this country, when I was seven- 
 teen, knowing no one, and speaking but a few words 
 of English; here I discovered that people could be 
 very unkind like devils and good like angels. I was 
 distressed to hear through Mr. Dale that your grand- 
 mother, who is in Lenox now for the autumn, was 
 so ill " 
 
 I threw down the letter. What did that mean? 
 My grandmother very ill, and I not know of it. 
 Indeed I had not received from her my weekly let- 
 ter; had news been sent which I had not heard? I 
 could not wait a moment longer; I had disdained 
 till then to try and escape, but I knew a way in 
 which I could get out of my room. It was even- 
 ing now and dark outside; by climbing out of the 
 window of my dressing-room, I could drop down 
 on a little balcony about five feet below. 
 
 I am agile and it was not difficult. I burst open 
 the window of the room opening on the balcony. A 
 lady was dressing for the ball; she and her maid 
 looked at me stupefied ; but I cared not, and without 
 making excuses I rushed through the room and ran 
 along the corridor to my mother's little sitting- 
 room, which I entered without knocking. No one 
 was there, but on the table I saw the envelope of
 
 250 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 a telegram; I took it; it was addressed to me; it 
 had been opened, read and I had not been told. 
 
 Flaming with indignation, I flew into my mother's 
 dressing-room; she was seated before her toilet 
 table, polishing her nails, while Angelique was doing 
 her hair. She was giving directions to the house- 
 keeper, and Fraiilein was standing in a corner with 
 Wilhelmine, who loves to watch people dress. 
 
 My voice trembled with passion as I asked 
 abruptly, " Where is the telegram that was sent 
 to me ? " 
 
 My mother looked at me with eyes of anger : 
 " How dare you enter my room like this ? How 
 did you get out of your room? Fraiilein, is not the 
 door locked ? " 
 
 But I gave not Fraiilein the chance to answer, and 
 stamping my foot I cried, " Give me my telegram. 
 You had no right to take it; it is mine; give it to 
 me." 
 
 There was a chorus of shocked expressions; An- 
 gelique ejaculated, " Bonte divine, Mademoiselle 
 Yvonne est folle ! " 
 
 The housekeeper murmured, " Du lieber Him- 
 mel!" 
 
 Fraiilein exclaimed, " Ach! solch Benehmen ist 
 emporend! ya! ganz entzetzlich! " 
 
 My mother arose, her long hair streaming over 
 her shoulders, " Out of my room, at once," she 
 commanded.
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 251 
 
 " No," I answered, " I will not go until I have 
 my telegram." 
 
 Fraiilein put her hand on my shoulder, but I 
 shook her off with violence, and Wilhelmine began 
 to cry. At the noise thus made, my step- father en- 
 tered the room dressed in his Ambassador's uniform 
 to receive the Emperor. 
 
 "What is the trouble? " he asked quietly. 
 
 " Oh, you at least are just," I exclaimed quite 
 wildly, " come to my aid. I am sure my grand- 
 mother is ill, very ill. Here see, is a telegram ad- 
 dressed to me and Mamma has taken it, and will not 
 show it to me. Oh! please tell me, if it is very bad 
 news ? " 
 
 " Have you heard anything, my dear, concerning 
 Mrs. Carrington ? " he asked my mother. 
 
 " Yes," she answered, " a telegram came yester- 
 day, from a Mr. Short. I had just had an un- 
 pleasant scene with Yvonne, and I thought I would 
 let her come to her senses before sending for her ; 
 as nothing can be done now, it would be time enough 
 to tell her after the ball." 
 
 " My grandmother is dead ! " I cried, " I am sure 
 she is dead, and you wanted me to be gay and 
 dance." 
 
 I looked at my mother so fiercely that she stepped 
 back, and then raising her eyebrows in disdain, she 
 seated herself at the table and told her maid to do 
 her hair.
 
 252 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 My step- father put his hand on my arm, " Hush, 
 Yvonne. You are beside yourself. You shall not 
 speak to your mother in that tone." He could feel 
 I was trembling. " Where is the telegram, my 
 dear ? " he asked. 
 
 My mother told Angelique to look for it in the 
 writing-desk. We were all silent. I felt as if my 
 heart would jump out of my breast. My step-fa- 
 ther took the telegram and read it to himself; then 
 he said, " I think as Yvonne is so anxious she had 
 better know the news ; " he read aloud : " Your 
 grandmother is ill with acute bronchitis, come if 
 you can by Thursday's steamer, condition seri- 
 ous, not dangerous. Signed, Henry Short." He 
 handed me the telegram. 
 
 ''' You perceive," said my mother coldly, " there 
 is nothing to be done. It is out of the question that 
 Yvonne should take the steamer, it sails to-morrow. 
 It is impossible to make preparations at such short 
 notice." 
 
 I could not speak or I should have burst out cry- 
 ing. 
 
 " Fraiilein," said my step-father, " conduct 
 Yvonne to her room; the Countess will send orders 
 concerning her later." 
 
 I left without a word, pressing the telegram in 
 my hand and not heeding the remarks Fraiilein 
 poured upon me; she unlocked my door and asked
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 253 
 
 how I escaped, but I would not answer. I felt 
 stunned. In a moment she returned ; she had heard 
 through the lady's maid how I escaped. With an 
 indignant cackle, like a hen, she locked also the 
 door of the dressing-room and left with the keys: 
 " Now unless you have wings you cannot fly from 
 here." 
 
 I paced my turret chamber like a wild animal in 
 a cage. I looked out of the window, thinking of 
 all the mad escapes I had read about, but I was 
 three stories from the ground, and my two sheets 
 tied together would reach but a little way. There 
 was no open fireplace by which I could crawl onto 
 the roof, only a porcelain stove. My mind fluttered 
 between a thousand impossible projects. The 
 steamer sailed to-morrow could I persuade An- 
 gelique to fly with me ? No, I knew she would not. 
 I saw Anna Engel's letter on the table ; it reminded 
 me that she, younger than I, had traversed the ocean 
 alone, not knowing the language, arriving among 
 strangers, therefore I certainly could go alone. But 
 was it not too late ? When did the steamer sail ? I 
 must know ! 
 
 I heard a soft knock at the door; then Hugo's 
 voice in a whisper, " Poor Yvonne, I am sorry you 
 are shut up here to-night, and you won't see my 
 new uniform; can I do anything for you? " 
 
 " Yes," I said, " dear Hugo, run and get me the 
 journal."
 
 254 . AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 He soon returned and slipped each sheet under 
 the door and then ran away. 
 
 A plot was beginning to form in my brain. I 
 looked at the shipping news : the steamer sailed from 
 Hamburg to-morrow morning at ten. If I could 
 catch the milk train leaving our little station at two, 
 in the night, I could get to Hanover in an hour, 
 and take the five o'clock train to Hamburg, getting 
 there in time. But in some manner I must escape 
 from my room. As I was wondering whether I 
 could force the lock with my scissors, I heard the 
 key turn, and Angelique entered with my ball dress ; 
 she told me my mother wished me to appear at the 
 ball. My first impulse was to refuse, but then I 
 quickly reflected I now had a way to escape, so 
 I resolved to play a comedy with tragedy in my 
 heart. 
 
 Fraiilein entered a moment afterwards followed 
 by Wilhelmine : Fraiilein had evidently been sent 
 to watch me. I bathed my face in cold water, but 
 I still felt a deep flush in my cheeks. 
 
 " Oh, Yvonne," said my sister, " you look so 
 pretty to-night; nearly as pretty as Mamma when 
 she puts color on, but you know you have been 
 very naughty." 
 
 " Yes," said Fraiilein, " take warning, Wilhel- 
 mine, not to be like Yvonne; it is America which 
 produces this pernicious effect." 
 
 They went on talking about me, but I paid no
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 255 
 
 attention until Wilhelmine, who has a manner of 
 touching things, exclaimed, " Who calls you Herz- 
 allerliebste Yvonne, and writes a long poem? " 
 
 Fraiilein seized the paper. " Ach! it is Herr Can- 
 didat Hasemann's writing ; I shall warn your mother, 
 Yvonne, to-morrow; it is most shocking and un- 
 seemly to have a flirtation with your brother's tutor ; 
 your interest in Latin was only an excuse," and she 
 pocketed the verses and cackled again. 
 
 I was annoyed; but after all to-morrow no one 
 could harm me, and poor Herr Hasemann was 
 also leaving. I showed a superbly indifferent 
 aspect, and spoke not a word, for I was concen- 
 trating all my forces on playing a difficult role. 
 Just as I had finished dressing, Hugo rushed into 
 my room. " Come quick, Yvonne," he cried, " the 
 Emperor is arriving! I am so glad Papa wanted 
 you to be present! See my cadet uniform." He 
 seized my hand and we ran down stairs together. 
 
 The imperial carriage was driving up. My step- 
 father was at the door; my mother in the hall; she 
 gave me a cold glance and beckoned me to her 
 side. We courtesied profoundly as the Emperor 
 greeted us. A fanfare was played, and we all en- 
 tered the great ball room. It was filled with peo- 
 ple, the brilliant uniforms putting the ladies' dresses 
 in the shade. 
 
 I gave myself to dancing as never before in my 
 life. I felt capable of the wittiest answers to my
 
 256 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 cavaliers. I experienced a sort of intoxication, as 
 if exalted by the spirit of my resolution. My 
 mother, as once I approached her, made a disdain- 
 ful remark that my worries had been soon forgotten ; 
 I simply smiled an answer. 
 
 Prince Ulrich watched me the whole evening. 
 Once I waltzed with him ; he inquired with concern 
 if I had fever. " Fiebertanz " I called out as I 
 flew away on the arm of an officer. 
 
 After dancing unceasingly I stood for a moment 
 breathless, surrounded by cavaliers. Prince Ulrich 
 approached; they made way for him respectfully, 
 for here he is a great personage. 
 
 " Allow me," he said, offering me his arm, 
 " to take you to the buffet for some refreshment." 
 
 I bowed and accepted. 
 
 " You are very much flushed," he said, " are you 
 ill?" 
 
 " I am not ill," I said, and sipped the lemonade 
 he had ordered. 
 
 " You are unlike yourself, you are excited, un- 
 natural." 
 
 " Oh, Prince Ulrich," I said, forcing myself to 
 laugh, " I am excited by the joy of the dance." 
 
 " I think not," he said quietly, " you have some- 
 thing on your mind." 
 
 " The dance is nearly at an end," I said, " let us 
 return to the ball room; in a few minutes every- 
 thing will be over."
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 257 
 
 " I wish to detain you a minute," he said in his 
 calm, impassive way, as if he always expected to 
 be obeyed, " I have had a conversation with your 
 mother." 
 
 " Oh, I know," I interrupted, " as a consequence 
 I was locked up in my room for two days." 
 
 " I deeply regret to have been the cause of annoy- 
 ance to you." 
 
 " Let us return to the ball room," I said again. 
 
 " No, kindly listen to me. Your mother tells 
 me that your engagement exists not; she called it 
 only an American flirtation; the nature of such 
 an engagement I do not understand; for to my 
 mind a betrothal is a sacred troth; but I want you 
 to tell me whether you are free ? " 
 
 " I am free," I answered. " I wish to be so." 
 
 " I shall not annoy you by my attentions," he said 
 very gravely, " but I repeat that I love you, that 
 I hope some day you will be my wife. I shall 
 wait: Can you not realize, that I know you better 
 than any one else? That I see to-night that your 
 apparent gaiety is forced. There is a haunted look 
 in your sweet eyes. Will you not at least treat 
 me as a friend ? Give me your confidence ; tell 
 me what is distressing you; let me be of service to 
 you." 
 
 " Oh, Prince Ulrich," I said, all smiles leaving me 
 and my anxiety no doubt appearing, " you have 
 divined rightly. I am very troubled, very unhappy
 
 258 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 this evening, but I can tell no one what is on my 
 mind." 
 
 "If your parents are bringing too much pressure 
 to bear on you, if they are distressing you by urging 
 my suit, I shall retire; on my account no one shall 
 molest you." 
 
 " Oh," I cried, " that matters to me no longer," 
 then seeing 'by his pained surprise, what thoughtless 
 words I had spoken, I hastily said, " Soon you will 
 know why I appear like this to-night; you will 
 hear me criticised. I care not what others say, but 
 of you I beg do not judge me harshly; and be- 
 lieve me, dear Prince Ulrich, the American girl must 
 follow her own way, and you must go your road up 
 to the high place to which you belong." 
 
 At that moment through the halls the fanfare 
 sounded for the banquet. 
 
 " They await you," I said hastily, " at the Em- 
 peror's table. Our paths separate; here; now; at 
 once. I am deeply grateful to you. Be not angry 
 with me. Adieu." 
 
 He looked at me with searching eyes, trying to 
 discover the meaning of my words ; we had reached 
 the ball room; the procession was forming for the 
 banquet; there were different tables prepared; the 
 high dignitaries were following the Emperor; no 
 one would take note where I might be ; now was 
 the moment for me to disappear. I slipped off 
 without being remarked, and made my way to my
 
 WILDESHEIM SCHLOSS 259 
 
 room by an unused staircase. I tore off my ball 
 dress as if it burned me. 
 
 I am all ready for my voyage, and to subdue my 
 impatience I have been writing. One o'clock will 
 be the hour for me to leave. I am dressed in a 
 blue serge suit and a dark veil over a simple hat. 
 I shall carry only a rug and my handbag with my 
 necessary things. I have counted my money. I 
 possess three hundred and thirty marks and twenty 
 dollars. Probably Anna Engel had less. My pearls 
 are around my neck, concealed. I hope to be quite 
 unnoticed. I am happy to feel thus valiant and 
 brave. I leave this place I detest with the hope 
 of never returning. My diary accompanies me, 
 the pansy and the forget-me-not pressed within its 
 leaves. I shall lock my door so as to delay the 
 search, but they will not look for me before to-mor- 
 row ; and now I must go.
 
 HANOVER STATION
 
 XXVI 
 
 OCTOBER 2d. I am writing in the corner of 
 the waiting room. To distract my thoughts 
 from a dread of the future, I turn them to the 
 events just past and so I shall take up the thread 
 of my narrative. 
 
 Unobserved, down an unused stairway I slipped 
 out by the servants' entrance, and from an inner 
 courtyard I gained the way to the forest, which 
 I had to traverse to reach the little station. The 
 night was dark; there was no moon, and a damp 
 mist clung to the trees. I knew well the path, 
 every turn and every root was familar to me since 
 my childhood, so without hesitation I advanced, 
 throwing only one look backwards on the illumined 
 castle, which I hoped never to see again. 
 
 My heart was beating fast ; not from fear but 
 from a sort of tremendous excitement. I had gone 
 a little way, not hurrying much, as I had given 
 myself an amplitude of time, when I heard a dry 
 branch crackle behind me. Then in truth, my heart 
 did beat with terror. I stopped and listened. Yes, 
 surely some one was following me. Perhaps a 
 detective who might arrest me; I knew there were 
 
 263
 
 264 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 several about, on account of the Emperor; or per- 
 haps an evildoer who had been prowling about the 
 castle, and observing me thus alone wished to rob 
 me or do me harm. 
 
 Wild thoughts flew through my brain; should I 
 run, or confront him, or hide? I could not see 
 him, as the path wound among the trees, but I 
 heard him approaching. A great oak stood to my 
 right; I felt the roots rising above the ground, and 
 noiselessly I hid behind it. The footsteps were not 
 like those of a pursuer, but very uncertain and 
 noisy; then I heard a low muttering, and soon 
 the words came to me distinctly: " Du herzaller- 
 liebste Yvonne." It was Candidat Hasemann. 
 He also was leaving the castle, apparently suffering 
 from the torments of his love for me; oh, how 
 I felt at once reassured ! At the moment he passed 
 me, he stumbled over the protruding roots and 
 fell all of his length; his valise rolling nearly at 
 my feet. I waited. He soon picked himself up, 
 ejaculating: " Ach Gott! mein Zwicker!" he had 
 lost his eyeglasses, therefore he was like a blindman. 
 
 Should I make myself known, and help him find 
 them? No, that would not be prudent; nobody 
 must know of my escape. For some time on 
 four paws, he searched for his pinch-nose, but was 
 unable to discover it; picking up his valise, he 
 stumbled along the path; I following at a little 
 distance, and feeling protected by his presence. It
 
 HANOVER STATION 265 
 
 is annoying that women are exposed to dangers and 
 fears which men can ignore, and thus appear so 
 brave. 
 
 Our park extends to the station. In the obscurity 
 of the trees I waited for the train. I could hear 
 Candidat Hasemann wake up the station-master and 
 ask for a ticket. Then our farmer drove up with 
 the milk-cart ; the whole scene illumined only by two 
 or three lanterns. I had determined not to buy a 
 ticket, so as to pass unobserved, and at that hour 
 when every one is sleepy, there would be fewer 
 formalities. It was unpleasant to be forced to be 
 thus dishonest. 
 
 At last the train came puffing in. There were 
 only fourth-class carriages to accommodate the 
 peasants going to market to Hanover. While the 
 guard was talking to our farmer, I slipped in to 
 one of the compartments. The wooden benches 
 were all filled with peasants ; at the other end of the 
 carriage I saw Candidat Hasemann, stumbling over 
 baskets and dropping on the knees of a big fat 
 man, who was asleep and who woke up with a 
 fearful swear. It created a little commotion, and 
 I quietly wedged myself between a peasant woman 
 with a basket of hens on her lap and a little boy 
 carrying a bundle of willows. Nearly everyone 
 was asleep and paid no attention to me. The 
 odor from fowls, vegetables, muddy boots, etc., was 
 terrible. I buried my nose in my scent bottle, which
 
 266 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I had fortunately brought. It took over an hour 
 to reach Hanover, and the time seemed to me long. 
 
 I felt very much abandoned as I descended into 
 the great station. It was the middle of the night. 
 Never had I found myself thus alone, and it gave 
 me a sort of young, childlike feeling of dread; 
 but I tried to overcome it and remember I was 
 going to my dear grandmother who was ill. I 
 reflected how Anna Engel, younger than I, poor 
 and without friends, had ventured into a foreign 
 country, whereas I was returning to my own dear 
 land. 
 
 I inquired for the train to Hamburg; it was due 
 at five o'clock, so I had over two hours to wait. 
 Two hours to wait! Two hours to think! To 
 wonder how I should accomplish my resolve. In 
 all this long evening, with so many varied inci- 
 dents, the thought of my grandmother had not left 
 me for a second. Before taking refuge in the wait- 
 ing-room I walked on the platform. It was cold, 
 ill-lighted and full of smoke. I nearly ran into 
 Candidat Hasemann, who was also pacing up and 
 down with hasty and uncertain steps, but he recog- 
 nized me not. Little did he think that the young 
 girl he was in love with was so near him. I 
 watched his ungainly figure and it reassured me a 
 little in my strange loneliness. 
 
 A train entered the station just now; he and I
 
 HANOVER STATION 267 
 
 had both forgotten to buy our tickets, so we rushed 
 simultaneously to get them. I arrived before him, 
 and asked for a ticket to Hamburg. 
 
 " What class? " demanded the agent. 
 
 " First," I said. 
 
 " First? " he repeated with surprise. 
 
 " No, third," I said, reflecting I was traveling as 
 it were in disguise. 
 
 Cornelius Hasemann, breathless, having fallen 
 over his own valise, was behind me, but quite un- 
 observant of his surroundings and unconscious of 
 me. Besides my veil was opaque. I heard him 
 ask for a third-class ticket to Hamburg. As we 
 returned to the platform we discovered it was a 
 wrong train going to Berlin. 
 
 I sat down again. Through the window of the 
 waiting-room I see Herr Hasemann; he looks per- 
 turbed; his gestures are more uncontrolled than 
 usual. In Hamburg dwell his three aunts; there 
 he will expect my answer. I have none to give. 
 Why because I was interested in his thoughts, did 
 he imagine I could love him? I must in future not 
 show any sympathy to young men. How long the 
 journey seems, I have before me! The ticket agent 
 has looked at me curiously several times. He knew 
 Herr Hasemann. 
 
 It is fortunate for me the Candidat lost his 
 glasses ; no one shall know I am going to America.
 
 268 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 The steamer stops in England and France, and as 
 I am a minor, I might be forcibly returned to my 
 mother. That would be horrible! I must not be- 
 tray myself.
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA
 
 XXVII 
 
 OCTOBER 3d. The train for Hamburg came 
 roaring into the station. I wished to avoid 
 the Candidat; I saw him go forward, and so I 
 went to the rear end of the train. The guard helped 
 me, or rather shoved me into a compartment full 
 of sleeping people. One little space in the middle 
 seemed unoccupied, and in that I sunk, making my- 
 self as small as possible. Some of the persons 
 grunted at being disturbed, but as soon as the train 
 started all was quiet. 
 
 In the dim light I perceived nine people drawn 
 up in grotesque attitudes : two women and seven 
 men. Both windows were entirely closed. I 
 gasped for breath in the thick air, and my zest for 
 adventure was diminished. I wished I was not so 
 young, and had a little more experience and self con- 
 fidence; but what a coward I was not to be willing 
 to endure anything for my grandmother's sake. 
 I thought of Jeanne D'Arc and other heroines, 
 younger and more ignorant than I ; but their forti- 
 tude did not seem to fortify me very much; and as 
 the train rushed through the night, I felt as if I 
 were swept away in a strange fantastic whirlwind. 
 
 271
 
 272 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I wondered rather helplessly if my three hundred 
 marks would pay for a cabin, and I also asked 
 myself if I had better take an assumed name. I 
 wish I could look like a widow; but how can I in 
 a blue serge dress? No real disguise seemed prac- 
 tical, in fact, I have no dress at all to change, only 
 a few underclothes and my tortoise-shell brushes 
 in my bag; but I would not think so selfishly of 
 myself any longer, and my thoughts wandered to 
 my dear grandmother ; how ill might she really be ? 
 " Serious, not dangerous," to repeat those words 
 for ten long days on the ocean, away from all news, 
 oh ! what a torturing doubt ! 
 
 To distract myself I began observing my traveling 
 companions. In the opposite corner was a big, 
 fat man. I could not see his face as it was sunk 
 in his arm; his thick, not clean hand, covered with 
 cheap rings, lay on his knee. A thin little man, 
 with a funny face, and his mouth wide open was 
 squeezed to small dimensions between the fat man 
 and a very fat woman on whose shoulder his head 
 rested. She had at least three chins, which hung 
 on the great curve of her breast, as her head dropped 
 forward. Her forehead was covered with curl 
 papers, and on her lap she held an enormous green 
 hat with yellow feathers. Next to her was a 
 little old man with his head on her other shoulder, 
 his feet were up on the seat, his knees nearly under 
 his chin, and facing him in the same position was
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 273 
 
 a young man, with a straight nose and very black 
 hair. A bandage was strapped over his mouth. 
 I wondered if he had been wounded, and then I 
 remembered advertisements I had seen for giving 
 the upward imperial curve to the moustache. 
 
 I have now described the row opposite me ; their 
 lack of constraint made me think they were all rela- 
 tions, and I wondered if when they awoke they 
 would be embarrassed to find a stranger among them. 
 
 On my left, were a man and a woman, whom 
 I took for a married couple, as his arm was around 
 her, and she leant against him. She also wore 
 curl papers, and an enormous hat was suspended 
 on the curtain above her. Two men, on my other 
 side, slept with colored handkerchiefs over their 
 faces. Every smallest space was crowded with 
 bags, valises and packages whose extraordinary 
 shapes puzzled me, but the light was very dim. My 
 own bag I was obliged to keep on my knees, and my 
 feet rested on a bandbox. 
 
 I could hardly breathe, the air was so oppressive, 
 and for the first time since my escape I ventured 
 to remove my veil; then, so as to lean back my 
 head, I took off my hat. I closed my eyes, and I 
 was beginning to doze a little, when suddenly a 
 voice startled me, by saying, " Erlanben Fraiilein" 
 and my bag was taken from my knees. I looked 
 up and saw it was the man on my right. He 
 placed the bag between his feet. I observed he had 
 18
 
 274 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 deep sunken eyes, and very thin cheeks, and a pleas- 
 ant, clever face, smooth shaven. 
 
 He whispered again, " Go to sleep, Fraiilein, you 
 can rest your head on my shoulder." I saw he did 
 not mean to be impertinent, but simply was kind 
 and friendly. I shook my head, and then hoping 
 he might procure me a little fresh air, I asked if 
 he would open the window. 
 
 " Gewiss," he said and opened it a crack, and then 
 whispered again with a smile, pointing to the fat 
 man, " Herr Meyerbaum will not support it long ; 
 he thinks night air injurious." 
 
 And in truth after a moment, the fat man's snore 
 suddenly became a tremendous sneeze, which dis- 
 turbed all the slumbers; with many ejaculations of 
 disgust he rose and closed the window. My com- 
 panion pretended to be asleep, and I did not move. - 
 
 After a while I think I must also have slept, for 
 I was surprised on opening my eyes to see it was 
 daylight, and the people around me were all awake. 
 
 We had entered a station. My right hand neigh- 
 bor was at the open door of the carriage, accom- 
 panied by a waiter carrying a tray with coffee and 
 rolls. Every one eagerly took a cup, and one was 
 offered to me. I suddenly became very hungry 
 and was glad to accept it, and I felt thus much bet- 
 ter. All my companions seemed of good humor 
 although most of them had pale, tired faces, and 
 they talked a great deal and very loudly. I thought
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 275 
 
 it strange that members of the same family should 
 resemble each other so little. 
 
 After the train started again, I heard one of 
 them say, " In an hour we shall be at Hamburg." 
 So I asked a little shyly, " Do we have to change 
 trains to get to the steamer landing? " 
 
 The fat man answered, " Yes, mein Fraiilcin, 
 are you also going to America? " 
 
 I told him I was; and then they all said in a 
 chorus, " So are we," and the fat man clearing 
 his throat said, in rather a pompous manner : 
 
 " As we are going to take this long journey to- 
 gether over land and sea, allow me, Fraiilein, to 
 make presentations. I am Herr Meyerbaum, Man- 
 ager of the Frankfurt Musikal und Lustspiel 
 Gesellschaft, visiting New York, Chicago and other 
 cities. This lady (indicating the fat woman) is 
 Frau Theodora Matrosi, who takes the noble 
 mothers' parts; our other leading lady is Fraiilein 
 Malvina Edelweiss." 
 
 Bows were exchanged between the ladies and 
 myself. My polite right hand neighbor was intro- 
 duce! as Herr Schimmel, a distinguished flute 
 player; the comic man as Herr Knackfuss; the old 
 one as Herr Schnirbelmaul, famous violoncellist; 
 the young man, who had removed his moustache 
 trainer, was Herr Alfons von Ritterstuhl, who took 
 the lover's role a world famed tenor and a 
 mandolin player. The one whom I had thought
 
 276 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 was the- husband of Fraulein Edelweiss, was pre- 
 sented as Herr Ludwig, without further qualifi- 
 cations. The men all stood up as their names were 
 mentioned and made marvelous bows. Then 
 they all looked as if they expected me to introduce 
 myself. I felt terribly embarrassed. After a pause 
 Herr Meyerbaum said, " And how shall we have 
 the honor of addressing you, mein Fraulein? " 
 
 I said the first name that occurred to me, " Frau- 
 lein Schmidt." 
 
 "And what Christian name?" persisted Herr 
 Meyerbaum. 
 
 " Rosa," I said feebly, 
 
 " And with what object are you visiting Amer- 
 ica?" 
 
 " Just for pleasure," I answered not knowing 
 what to say, 
 
 " Ach," said Herr Alfons, " tvic interressant, wie 
 kostlich." 
 
 The man at the further corner who had not been 
 thus far introduced, jumped up and exclaimed, " My 
 name is also Schmidt, Andreas Schmidt, without 
 doubt we are cousins ! " 
 
 I bowed and looked at him aghast. He had vivid 
 red hair, brushed up straight, a red bristling mous- 
 tache, green eyes, and the most turned up nose I 
 have ever seen. 
 
 " I play the trombone," he announced ; and so the
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 277 
 
 queer shaped packages I had vaguely descried, were 
 different musical instruments. 
 
 We were nearing Hamburg and everybody's toilet 
 was actively begun. The ladies removed their curl 
 papers; the same comb was passed around which 
 served also for the men's moustaches; the powder 
 puff was freely applied ; the red lip salve after the 
 ladies used it was passed to Herr Alfons, who 
 colored his rather protruding mouth. He also 
 adorned himself with a cherry tie in which he 
 planted an enormous scarfpin. He produced a mir- 
 ror from his bag, which Herr Ludwig held for each 
 one of the Troupe in turn. I soon discovered the 
 latter was called upon to render every kind of 
 service. 
 
 I was at first bewildered by the manners of the 
 strange company I was in, but then I noticed how 
 amiable and good-natured they all were together, 
 and unrestrained, like children in the same nursery. 
 
 When the mirror was also presented to me, I 
 looked, and saw a pale face and untidy hair. I ad- 
 justed myself as well as I could. I failed several 
 times to respond when addressed as Fraiilein 
 Schmidt and then I remembered how in truth I 
 was acting a serious role, so I must not forget to 
 do it well. I took courage to ask Herr Meyerbaum 
 if I should have difficulty in getting a cabin on the 
 steamer.
 
 278 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " Ach, mein Fraulein," he said, " you have no 
 ticket? then you have started in a great hurry? " 
 ' Yes," I confessed, reddening furiously. 
 
 "You are going to America so suddenly?" in- 
 quired Frau Matrosi, " and without preparations ; 
 but at least, my dear Fraulein, let me hope you 
 have friends awaiting you in that far off land." 
 
 " I am going to my grandmother," I answered. 
 
 "Ach!" they all exclaimed, "you have a grand- 
 mother in America, has she been there long? " 
 
 " Oh, yes," I said. 
 
 " She is probably well established then." 
 
 " Yes," I answered. 
 
 ' Then you are not seeking a situation." 
 
 I shook my head. 
 
 " Because," said Herr Meyerbaum, " I need an 
 ingenue for my Troupe, and your appearance would 
 correspond. You may also have some talent. Do 
 you sing? " 
 
 " A little." 
 
 " Do you dance ? " 
 
 " I have been taught." 
 
 " Do you play on any instrument ? " 
 
 " The piano, the harp and the guitar," I answered, 
 amused at his questions. 
 
 " Famosl" he exclaimed, "you will make a 
 career for yourself under my protection and I will 
 arrange about your berth at Kuxhafen." 
 
 " I think," said Herr Schimmel, " it would be well
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 279 
 
 for the little Fraiilein to have us look after her and 
 protect her ; she is too young to travel alone." 
 
 The phrase was familiar to my ear. 
 
 " She will be under my care," said Frau Matrosi, 
 laying her arm around my shoulder, and giving me 
 a hearty kiss. 
 
 I was inclined to resent such a familiarity ; but no, 
 what is kindly offered must be graciously accepted; 
 and I hoped that on the steamer we should remain 
 apart. 
 
 " Well then," I said, " Herr Meyerbaum, if you 
 will get a stateroom I should like one to myself; 
 first-class if you please; and here are three hundred 
 marks." 
 
 " Ach, first-class ! " several exclaimed. 
 
 " Kolossal! " ejaculated Herr Alfons. 
 
 " But, dear Fraiilein," said Herr Meyerbaum, 
 " you know the saying : Only princes, fools and 
 Americans travel first-class, and three hundred 
 marks would not reach ; leave it to me, I see you 
 have no experience." 
 
 I tried to protest and explain, but we were en- 
 tering the Hamburg station where we had half an 
 hour to wait for the train to Kuxhafen. There was 
 a tremendous excitement to disembark the Troupe 
 with their thousand parcels and musical instruments. 
 As we were crossing the platform, Herr Cornelius 
 Hasemann was hurrying past us and collided with 
 Herr Schnirbelmaul's violoncello. There were
 
 280 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 loud expostulations, and everybody stopped and 
 stared. I tried to conceal myself behind Frau 
 Matrosi, and my thick blue veil was also a pro- 
 tection; at last I saw the Candidat vanish through 
 the outer gate. With the usual, never-appeased 
 hunger of traveling Germans, the Troupe entered 
 the Buffet for a second breakfast, and with much 
 noise seated themselves and ordered a copious meal. 
 They grew quite sentimental over their last German 
 repast, their last sausages and beer ; and their stand- 
 ing toast to the Vaterland attracted much attention. 
 
 It was ten o'clock when we arrived on the dock. 
 All the travelers were agitated identifying their own 
 luggage. I sat a little apart on a box, feeling 
 dazed and bewildered by all that had occurred in 
 the last few hours. So here I was, having fled 
 from my family in the castle and from the Em- 
 peror's presence, to become a member of a musical 
 theatrical troupe; laughter and tears were striving 
 with each other ; I felt much like a wind tossed leaf, 
 which one moment gaily dances in the air and then is 
 swept low to the ground. 
 
 But not for long did I remain plunged in thought ; 
 soon Herr Meyerbaum appeared and called loudly 
 the Troupe by name. They gathered around him 
 like chickens chirping beneath the hen's wing. 
 Seizing my arm, he said, " Come, little Fraiilein, 
 everything is arranged for you," and he marched me 
 up the gang plank. After many inquiries the cabins
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 281 
 
 were found. To my dismay, I was told Herr 
 Meyerbaum had been fortunate enough to exchange 
 with a lady, who had given up her berth in Frau 
 Matrosi and Fraulein Edelweiss's cabin, which I 
 instead had the privilege to share with them. " The 
 steamer is full," he added, "quite over full, and if 
 it had not been for me, little Fraulein, you would 
 have remained on the dock." 
 
 "But," I protested, "is the first-class so full?" 
 
 " First-class, little Fraulein, costs six, seven, 
 eight hundred marks. Ach! you know nothing of 
 the value of money ! " 
 
 That was true indeed, so as cheerfully as possible 
 I thanked him, and disposed my few things in the 
 cabin; with the consent of the ladies I chose the 
 upper berth. Then we all went up on deck, the 
 ladies and men of our party wearing white cluck 
 yachting caps, thus endeavoring to assume a nauti- 
 cal appearance, and being certainly very noticeable. 
 
 As we were standing near the rail, suddenly 
 Herr Knackfuss, the comic man, gave a piercing 
 hoot, and wildly gesticulating, screamed, " Mein 
 Gott! there is Herr Matrosi with his little sons and 
 Frau Meyerbaum with her young ladies," and calls 
 of Theodora, Rachel and Judith responded. Inde- 
 scribable excitement followed, and shoving their 
 way up the gang plank, several persons flew into 
 the arms of the Troupe. After watching a pas- 
 sionate exchange of embraces, I was introduced to
 
 282 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 Herr Matrosi; a tiny little man, with two fat 
 little boys clinging to his hand, and to Frau Meyer- 
 baum and her two Jewish looking daughters. 
 They had come to surprise their relatives and bid 
 them good-bye. Everybody talked at once with a 
 hurried exchange of recommendations. Herr 
 Alfons von Ritterstuhl was evidently a favorite 
 with the two Fraiilein Meyerbaum, and I never saw 
 such coquetting in my life. 
 
 Herr Schimmel, who is evidently very kind 
 hearted, thinking I felt lonely said, " It is very sad 
 to take farewell of one's dear ones, but it is perhaps 
 sadder to have nobody to say good-bye to ; and then 
 I love my beautiful fatherland and it pains me much 
 to leave it. Perhaps, you too, mein Fraiilein, feel 
 as I do." 
 
 " We all love our own country most," I said, 
 " and I suppose we thus think it the most perfect." 
 
 At that moment the bell of departure rang. With 
 jokes and laughter exchanged between the Meyer- 
 baums, and with loud sobs from the Matrosi 
 family, they all had to separate. It was touching 
 to see Frau Theodora arrange with lingering ten- 
 derness her little boys' curls, and then kiss them 
 over and over again, with a thousand words of ad- 
 vice to her poor little husband, who was weeping 
 copiously. Even when we were moving out of 
 dock in unchecked grief, with streaming eyes and 
 reddening nose, unmindful of appearance, they
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 283 
 
 waved each other repeated farewell. Sorrow is con- 
 tagious among warm hearted people, and soon the 
 whole Troupe were in tears, and I found myself 
 patting Frau Matrosi's shoulder like an old friend. 
 " Ach, Gott," she moaned, " if instead of being an 
 actress I could only stay at home, and be the mother 
 of my family." 
 
 It is now the middle of the day; we are well out 
 at sea ; I have found a still corner on deck where I 
 am writing. At this moment perhaps, at Castle 
 Wildesheim they are forcing open my door, to find 
 the caged bird flown. They will not know where 
 to look, but I shall not feel quite safe until South- 
 hampton and Cherbourg have been left behind, so 
 it is well I am traveling under an assumed name. 
 
 My thoughts try to pierce the future; anxiety 
 weighs heavily on my heart. The throbbing of the 
 screw seems to chant the refrain " Serious, not 
 dangerous." Oh, if I were not to find my dear 
 grandmother at the end of my voyage! I long to 
 throw myself at her knees, and have her dear hands 
 laid upon my head as if in blessing, for she 
 alone in this world loves me. But I must be strong 
 and brave, and if when I reach America I find in 
 truth I am alone, then I shall work for my living, 
 for never will I return to Europe. With a feeling 
 of hate, I look back upon the fading shores of the 
 land Herr Schimmel is staring at with love and 
 regret.
 
 XXVIII 
 
 OCTOBER 5th. I seem to have lost in the 
 last two days my own personality. I am 
 no longer the spoiled and petted Miss Carrington 
 of America nor the respectable Comtesse Yvonne 
 of Germany, bowing to Emperors and dancing 
 with princes, but just plain little Rosa Schmidt; a 
 member of Herr Meyerbaum's Troupe ; called Du by 
 the women, and surnamed by the men Dornr'6- 
 schen. This arrived, because that odious Herr 
 Alfons von Ritterstuhl seemed to me familiar and 
 I treated him with a certain highness. Herr Knack- 
 fuss, the comic man was present and called out 
 " Ach so! the rose has thorns," and thereafter they 
 have called me Dornroschen. 
 
 Vulgar familiarity I will not permit, but other- 
 wise I have certainly no superiority of position 
 to exalt myself with. They have showed their real 
 excellence by their kindness to me. Yet foolishly 
 enough my nerves rebel when the women kiss me, 
 and employ everything of mine they find useful. 
 I am afraid I am still ruled by unworthy aristo- 
 cratic prejudices and that I am not the true Repub- 
 lican I wish to be. 
 
 284
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 285 
 
 It is very unworthy of me to object to their 
 manners and not to think only of their good hearts. 
 I suppose that in Heaven we shall only be recog- 
 nized by our hearts and souls, and that the surface 
 of people which now attracts or repels will vanish ; 
 table manners and a refined tone of voice will not 
 be considered ; in fact, all the things will count 
 for nothing which alone have been developed in my 
 education. I must also in truth think more of what 
 Candidat Hasemann calls the inward growth of 
 the Superman, and therefore it makes me ashamed 
 when I review my memoirs to find therein only the 
 account of little trivial things. I shall look for 
 books of philosophy in the ship's library, and study 
 them deeply. 
 
 As soon as the steamer rolled a little, most of 
 the men and both the women were sick. Frau 
 Matrosi makes a very astonishing appearance in 
 bed. She wears a purple satin jacket, strewn with 
 little blue flowers, and trimmed with tarnished gold 
 lace, I suppose part of a discarded theatrical cos- 
 tume. She and Fraiilein Edelweiss have not un- 
 rolled their hair from curl papers, which protrude 
 beneath green and yellow checked cotton handker- 
 chiefs tied round their heads. Herr Ludwig spends 
 all day in the stateroom and renders them every 
 sort of service. He appears to belong especially 
 to Fraiilein Edelweiss. I always supposed ac-
 
 286 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 tresses were vain; but oh, no, in private life it is 
 quite the contrary, and they display a superb indif- 
 ference to the effect they produce. 
 
 I am now to call Malvina by her first name and 
 Du. Her age seems to be a matter of uncertainty. 
 I never go to my cabin except to smooth my hair 
 and to sleep late at night. I am always on deck ; I 
 love the salt sea air. 
 
 Herr Schimmel who must be quite an old man 
 often sits near me silently, like a good watch 
 dog; he is most kind and attentive. He secured 
 me a steamer chair which I paid for with my last 
 money, for this morning an accident arrived to me. 
 I always carried my purse in a little gold filagree 
 bag, hung on my wrist. (The ladies thought it 
 a gilt imitation like my brushes and other things. 
 Malvina perceived my pearls and asked why I had 
 not bought a bigger size, they did not cost any 
 more.) I was stooping over the rail watching a 
 school of fish when the chain caught in a hook, 
 snapped, and the bag fell in the ocean. I was con- 
 sternated for I was penniless. Herr Meyerbaum 
 and Herr Schimmel were very sympathetic and when 
 the others were told, they all offered to help me. 
 As is always the rule when charity is proffered, they 
 felt justified is asking me questions. 
 
 " Had my grandmother any fortune ? Was I 
 going to work for her or could she support me?
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 287 
 
 Where did she live ? What was her name ? " I 
 answered as well as I could, but I find that one lie 
 engenders rapidly others. I said her name was the 
 same as mine as she was my father's mother. 
 
 " Ach so!" said Herr Andreas Schmidt, "I had 
 an aunt Anastasia Schmidt who possessed a 
 sausage factory in Milwaukee ; is she not your grand- 
 mother ? for then surely we are cousins ? " 
 
 I looked at him a moment aghast; with his red 
 hair and trumpet nose, the possible nephew of my 
 beautiful grandmother making sausages in Mil- 
 waukee, and then I laughed, without answering, 
 and I thought of Cousin Henry; how horrified he 
 would be with my present companions, for he pos- 
 sesses not the magic wand that recognizes people's 
 hearts below the rough surface. 
 
 Herr Meyerbaum announced afterwards that he 
 would make good my loss, that he had a little 
 scheme; he brought me a pamphlet and begged me 
 to learn the part of Pierrette in a one act musical 
 comedy. It will divert me from my sad thoughts. 
 I have nothing to do and I can learn easily ; I have 
 acted before quite large audiences for charity; this 
 will be in my own aid ; it will only delay a little my 
 research of the books of philosophy. 
 
 We have accosted Southampton! and safely left 
 without enquiry for me. Here is the rough copy 
 of my letter to my mother mailed at Cherbourg:
 
 288 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " Dear Mamma, 
 
 " I think it is my duty to let you know I have gone 
 to America to visit my grandmother, and that I shall 
 never return to Europe. I have been very unhappy 
 with you, and I have displeased you much, by not 
 marrying those you have chosen for me. You have 
 also told me I was a bad example for Wilhelmine, 
 so I have no doubt you are glad I have gone. If 
 necessary, I shall earn my own living a career has 
 been opened to me. I shall take care of myself as 
 an American young girl always can. It would not 
 be truthful if I declared I was repentant for running 
 away, and like Luther at the Council of Worms, I 
 shall say, ' Were all the slates on the roof, devils, 
 I could not do otherwise, so God help me ' ; there- 
 fore, dear Mamma, permit me to only sign myself, 
 " Yours very truthfully, 
 
 " YVONNE CARRINGTON." 
 
 I think my letter is very dignified, and my only 
 pride is to be able to assert I am a free American. 
 My mother loves me not, I know well; this is 
 very sad I think for a child to feel, but what is the 
 use for me to pretend an affection we neither of us 
 have; my love for my grandmother alone fills my 
 heart, since I know she is so ill. 
 
 I had just finished and addressed my letter when 
 Herr Alfons passing through the saloon saw me; he 
 had other letters in his hand, and offered to take
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 289 
 
 mine as the mail bag was being closed. I did not 
 wish to offend him so I gave him the letter ; he 
 calmly read the address. 
 
 " Hire Excellenz Grafin Wildesheim, 
 
 " Schloss Wildesheim, 
 " Provinz Hanover." 
 
 " Ei, cl, so so, in correspondence with a Countess." 
 
 "Give me back my letter," I said angrily; "you 
 have no right to read the address." 
 
 " Softly, Dornroschen, I can read what is open to 
 the postman, ha ha! ei ei! so so! " he went off mur- 
 muring. 
 
 I was in a rage, but what could I do ! He would 
 tell the others, and they would ask me more ques- 
 tions, and I would have to invent more answers. I 
 went on deck to see the new passengers arrive on 
 the tug at Cherbourg. I was idly watching them, 
 when I suddenly recognized Graf Adel, one of the 
 young secretaries at the Embassy in Paris, whom I 
 remembered had just been transferred to Washing- 
 ton. 
 
 I hastily pulled down my veil, and he did not 
 recognize me; but Herr Alfons had apparently been 
 observing me, for I heard him close at my side 
 murmur " Ha ha! ei oil so so! " 
 
 I walked away with my head in the air, and very 
 much annoyed. It is fortunate that I am traveling 
 19
 
 290 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 second class, for had I met Graf Adel in the Saloon, 
 without a chaperon, everyone would think it im- 
 proper; those absurd conventions are not observed 
 among my present companions; there are several 
 young girls, school teachers and governesses, who 
 are by themselves, and whose dignity insures them 
 respect. It is curious that with women 'who work, 
 everyone is not ready to think they will misbehave 
 like ladies in society, who can never be independ- 
 ent without criticism, so I conclude that the usual 
 careful bringing up by governesses, etc., does not ed- 
 ucate women to take care of themselves, but very 
 much the contrary. They are taught that they must 
 depend on safeguards. It is the same with every 
 one in high places, a parapet must surround them for 
 fear of a disastrous fall. I think it is quite won- 
 derful that I should have discovered this all by my- 
 self, but solitude develops reflection. 
 
 I went to my cabin before dinner; the whole 
 Troupe was there assembled, but they did not per- 
 ceive me at first in the door. Herr Alf ons and Herr 
 Knack fuss were perched on the bunk. Herr Meyer- 
 baum occupied the only camp stool, and the other 
 four men sat at the feet of the women's beds. Sev- 
 eral of them were smoking and they were talking 
 with great animation. Herr Alfons was saying: 
 " Her letter was addressed to a Countess. I know 
 the name; the Count is German Ambassador to
 
 ON BOARD THE AM ERIK A 291 
 
 Paris, and she gave a start of recognition and pulled 
 down her veil as a young man embarked at Cher- 
 bourg, and I have ascertained that " 
 
 " What have you ascertained, Herr Alfons von 
 Ritterstuhl ? " I asked with a serene expression, but 
 with anger boiling beneath. A bomb thrown among 
 them could not have disturbed them more. Herr 
 Knackfuss leapt to the floor and landed on Herr 
 Ludwig's toes; I then saw he was holding one of 
 my brushes; Herr Meyerbaum held the other, and 
 Malvina tried to conceal beneath her pillow my gold 
 scent bottle. 
 
 " Dornroschen ! Dornroschen ! be calm," said Herr 
 Meyerbaum. 
 
 " I am perfectly calm," I said, " but I should like 
 to benefit by Herr Alfons' information." I dis- 
 dained to inquire why they were examining my 
 things. 
 
 Herr Alfons remained perched and with a silly 
 snigger, he said : " Well, mein Fraillein, perhaps I 
 ought to say Countess or Princess, as you came 
 among us without a letter of introduction and your 
 grand airs may betoken noble birth ; I was telling our 
 friends that a young man, a Count I find he is, is 
 not unknown to you." 
 
 " Yes, and what else? " I asked. 
 
 " And that in fact the German Ambassador and 
 his lady, and his staff may be former friends or
 
 292 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 patrons of yours, and," he added maliciously, " that 
 your hurried departure may not have pleased them ; 
 I noticed you took pains to avoid recognition." 
 
 " Is this piece of news of Herr Alfons' very in- 
 teresting to you all?" I asked. They looked em- 
 barrassed and did not answer. " And may I beg 
 you to give me my brushes as I came here to prepare 
 for dinner." 
 
 I washed my hands with as much unconcern as 
 if I were alone. Herr Alfons descended from my 
 berth and handing me my brushes, remarked " It 
 is curious that the initials on these brushes do not 
 correspond with your name; I see Y. C. instead of 
 R. S., and they are very beautiful." 
 
 " I 'thought they were imitation," said Malvina. 
 
 " Oh, no," replied Herr Alfons, " they are the 
 genuine article the finest I have ever seen." 
 
 I took them from him and smoothed my hair, 
 then I replaced them in my traveling bag, leaving 
 it open. All this was done with great composure 
 with what Hugo calls my air noble. They watched 
 me in silence; having finished, I went to the door 
 and turning round faced them all. I suddenly felt 
 as if I had grown very tall, taller than any of them. 
 I spoke thus: 
 
 " My good people, I came among you as Herr 
 Alfons von Ritterstuhl says, without introduction; 
 nor did I ask for any in return. You gave me the
 
 ON BOARD THE AM ERIK A 293 
 
 names with which your audiences greet you ; I have 
 not asked what quarterings of nobility Herr Alfons 
 von Ritterstuhl can boast of, nor any other ques- 
 tions. You asked me by what name to call me. I 
 told you. Why the initials on my brushes do not 
 correspond, I shall not tell you. You have been 
 very kind to me. I thank you. That I know the 
 Ambassador's wife is an accident for which I am 
 not responsible, and my other acquaintances do not 
 concern you. Freely you accepted me and you 
 are free to dismiss me. Herr Meyerbaum, shall 
 we part company ? " 
 
 " Ach! me in Gott! mein liebes Fraillein!" he ex- 
 claimed, " by no means ; it can be no fault of yours 
 if you are an aristocrat; Alfons has a long tongue 
 and a short brain; we care not what he says." 
 
 " Very well, my friends," I said smiling, " I 
 shall gratefully remain among you. Gentlemen, 
 dinner is ready. Frau Matrosi, if there is any nice 
 little dainty I will bring it to you and tempt 
 your appetite. Malvina, you may keep my scent 
 bottle, I give it to you it is real gold." With 
 that I left the cabin; I heard a few excited whispers 
 and Herr Alfons exclaim, " Kolossal! " 
 
 From henceforth they have treated me with more 
 reserve. Herr Schimmel alone changing nothing of 
 his attitude of politeness and kindness. Thus my 
 air noble imposed on them and I feel I have won
 
 294 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 a little victory, and at the same time lost a little of 
 their unquestioning confidence. I think they won- 
 der if I am a runaway governess having stolen her 
 ladies' brushes, or an eloping princess; but then 
 princesses never elope alone.
 
 XXIX 
 
 OCTOBER 8th. Three days have passed. 
 Days at sea are monotonous. The weather 
 has been rough. All the Troupe except Herr 
 Schimmel are sick, and he is a quiet and silent 
 companion. I feel he is good and kind; we sit 
 on deck for hours without talking, watching the 
 enormous waves rolling in their gigantic undula- 
 tions, and his presence comforts me much, for in 
 my heart a nameless dread is growing; the words 
 " serious not dangerous " beat upon it like ham- 
 mer strokes. The word serious sounds fainter, and 
 dangerous repeats itself insistently with greater cer- 
 titude. O my God ! not to know what at this min- 
 ute may be happening! Torturing visions pass 
 before my eyes of my grandmother asking for me, 
 and finding me not; and yet one thought consoles 
 me, I have done all in my power to go to her. I 
 have snapped conventions like dry twigs, and sub- 
 duing my fears I am coming as fast as this great 
 steamer can carry me. 
 
 Not quite four months ago, with my face turned 
 towards my dear country, I was also impatiently 
 counting the throb of the screw; full of hope and 
 
 295
 
 296 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 eagerness, and so very young in my inexperience 
 of all things. I am still only eighteen but I have 
 grown very mature. Men have loved me; that has 
 taught me much. I have widely opened my eyes, 
 and watched people in happiness and sorrow; and 
 joy and grief I have also known, and thus in a 
 short time I have grown old. 
 
 And then oh, then, how can I describe it, the 
 tokens of friendship I carry with me, have they 
 not whispered things new and strange ? The pansy, 
 the forget-me-not! What thoughts do they sug- 
 gest? Is he who sent them really my friend? Or 
 just a strange, incomprehensible man whose image 
 constantly pursues me? Poor, faded little flowers! 
 They have lost all their sweetness and perfume, and 
 perhaps I have also faded thus from his memory ! 
 
 I am now alone and penniless, nothing to pay 
 my voyage to Lenox. I may have to sell my 
 brushes. 
 
 I was on the stern of the boat, watching the 
 waves churned by the screw, and pity for myself 
 overcame me, so that tears ran down my cheek. 
 Slowly the sensation came over me that somebody 
 was observing me that strange feeling of a sixth 
 sense that gives warning. I quickly turned and saw 
 Graf Adel with his eyes fixed upon me. He is 
 nice, young and very gentlemanly; but as his look 
 of curiosity suddenly changed to a stupefied recog- 
 nition, I grew more embarrassed. My cheeks
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 297 
 
 flamed with red and I was conscious of the tears 
 still undried. I could not bring it upon myself 
 to wipe them, and thus to acknowledge their pres- 
 ence, so with the formality proper in a ball room 
 I bowed to him. 
 
 He approached me cap in hand ; " Comtesse 
 Yvonne," he said, " this is a most unexpected meet- 
 ing." 
 
 " Yes," I answered with as much unconcern as 
 I could assume, " my departure for America was 
 sudden. I am going to see my grandmother who 
 is ill," and then I added to leave him no doubt as to 
 our future intercourse, " You see we are traveling 
 in different classes. I am in second and you are 
 in first, so we shall not meet; this part of the deck 
 is allowed to us as it is the least agreeable ; I think 
 it is you therefore who have passed the forbidden 
 boundary." 
 
 " Do I understand, gnadiges Fraiilein" he said 
 bowing, " that you are dismissing me ? " 
 
 I hesitated. I felt keenly the pleasure of meeting 
 a former acquaintance ; he looked so nice as he stood 
 bareheaded, and proud, and offended before me ; 
 and his manners made me realize how much I 
 missed the lack of them in my present companions. 
 The deck was entirely empty ; the spying Alfons was 
 prostrated by sickness, so why not accord to my- 
 self a few minutes of civilized conversation. 
 
 " Listen, Graf Adel," I said, " you must under-
 
 298 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 stand that my position is unusual for a young girl 
 of our world. You see I am traveling alone." 
 
 " Alone ! " he exclaimed with surprise. 
 
 ' Yes," I said with pleasure at taking somebody 
 for the first time in my confidence, " I ran away." 
 
 " Comtesse Yvonne, we all know that, but 
 thought not that you ran away alone." 
 
 'You all knew?" I said in stupefaction, "how 
 is that possible and with whom could I run away? " 
 
 " We thought," he said embarrassed, " the jour- 
 nals said " 
 
 " The journals," I cried out, " what can they 
 know, what can they say ? " 
 
 " Why, gnddiges Fraiilein, when a young lady in 
 your position disappears it occasions a colossal scan- 
 dal." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said consternated, " I never thought of 
 that. I have been very stupid. I had only one 
 thought in my head. Please tell me what you 
 know." 
 
 We sat down on a coil of rope, for the steamer 
 was plunging violently and it was difficult to keep 
 our feet. My air of grandeur had departed; I 
 listened to Graf Adel in a spirit of meekness and 
 contrition. 
 
 " You disappeared the night His Majesty was 
 at a ball at your castle. Of course the place was 
 guarded by detectives and secret police; no one 
 could come and go without being observed. The
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 299 
 
 next morning towards midday, you did not appear, 
 nor answer any summons ; so your room was forced 
 open and found empty. At once search was made 
 in all directions, then it was found that " he 
 hesitated. 
 
 " Oh, please go on," I entreated. 
 
 " That your brother's tutor, Candidat Cornelius 
 Hasemann had suddenly gone in the night, leaving 
 a short note for His Excellency giving his resigna- 
 tion but without any explanation. Countess Wil- 
 helmine's governess had discovered a love declara- 
 tion addressed to you by the Candidat. A detective 
 had seen a young woman leave the Castle by the 
 servants' door, shortly before the Candidat was 
 observed to follow by the same path, in the forest. 
 He thought they were having a tryst, but naturally 
 when all these facts were ascertained, the conclu- 
 sion was that you had both gone off by the milk 
 train. At Hanover the ticket agent said he had 
 recognized the Candidat with a thickly veiled 
 young lady; they bought tickets together for Ham- 
 burg." 
 
 " The good Candidat has gone to Hamburg to 
 stay with old maiden aunts; they have three cats, 
 they call Jungfrau, Monch and Eiger. The Candidat 
 read me a letter last week, in which he was told that 
 the Jungfrau had eight kittens. Oh, it is too funny 
 to think I could elope with Herr Candidat Corne- 
 lius Hasemann!" I threw my head back and
 
 300 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 laughed as I have not laughed all these weary 
 months. 
 
 But Graf Adel looked serious; yes, very serious; 
 regaining my gravity I said, " But tell me, how 
 did you hear of my flight? You left Europe one 
 day after me." 
 
 ' Your father's private secretary wrote to me 
 from Wildesheim, the afternoon you vanished; they 
 had just traced your flight in company with Herr 
 Hasemann. The further investigation at Hamburg 
 had not begun. As I left Paris the newspapers had 
 printed a headline Daughter of German Ambassa- 
 dor to Paris Elopes With Brother's Tutor. Your 
 mother was lamenting ceaselessly that the chances 
 for your sister's marriage had been spoilt, and His 
 Excellency also keenly feels the disgrace." 
 
 " Well," I said, " they are reassured now ; for 
 I wrote from Cherbourg; and as long as I eloped 
 alone, it is perfectly proper, and nobody is dis- 
 graced." 
 
 Graf Adel did not look as if he were of my opin- 
 ion. " I shall write to my step- father and beg his 
 pardon ; for I lived in his house and he has been kind 
 to me, and I am sorry I distressed him; but oh," I 
 said laughing again, " how I should like to have 
 seen Herr Cornelius' face and the faces of his old 
 maiden aunts, when the detective arrived at his 
 home in Hamburg, and accused him of running 
 away with me. Why poor dear man, there is noth-
 
 ON BOARD THE AM ERIK A 301 
 
 ing he would have liked better, but it never entered 
 his head. He was close to me in the station and 
 never saw me ; never knew I was in the same train. 
 That is a fact, Graf Adel, although you look at me 
 so incredulously. Besides it is only princesses who 
 run away \vith tutors and grooms." 
 
 Graf Adel looked scandalized. 
 
 " And now listen," I continued, " you must not 
 speak to me again. I am not Comtesse Yvonne. 
 When I land I shall be once more Miss Carrington ; 
 at present I am traveling under an assumed name 
 with a troupe of actors." 
 
 Graf Adel looked bewildered. 
 
 " Yes," I went on, " I am called now, Rosa 
 "Schmidt." 
 
 " Are you going on the stage? " he asked rather 
 stupidly. 
 
 " I hope not to be obliged to, although many 
 ladies do ; and now," I said rising, " you must 
 promise me on your honor not to betray me." I 
 held out my hand ; he took it. 
 
 " One thing, will you tell me why you ran away ? " 
 
 " Yes," I said ; " I told you a while ago ; they 
 telegraphed to me from America my grandmother 
 was ill ; my mother kept the news from me ; when 
 I saw the cable and begged to go, she would not let 
 me ; so you see," I tried to smile " I was obliged 
 to run away." 
 
 Graf Adel looked unconvinced, but he said, " I
 
 302 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 promise not to speak to you, nor recognize you; 
 but I beg you to let me know if I can be of any 
 service to you. You are much too young and too 
 beautiful to travel unprotected in a company of 
 strange people, far below your rank. If I were 
 not afraid of compromising you further, I should 
 insist on your traveling under my care, but unfor- 
 tunately, that is impossible." 
 
 " Thank you," I answered. " I return to my 
 second class comrades with whom I can travel with- 
 out being compromised. I am glad I met you; I 
 am glad of the information you have given me; 
 but one thing you must quickly learn ; in my country, 
 an American young girl can always take care of 
 herself. Good-bye, and remember we know not 
 each other when we meet." He looked at me ques- 
 tioningly one moment, then seeing I was serious, 
 he bowed profoundly and left me. 
 
 I confess I have noticed more since this meeting 
 the little vulgarities of the Troupe. I am afraid I 
 am neither a philosopher nor a true Republican ; and 
 the clouds overhead seem very dark and heavy, and 
 the waves beneath very gray and angry.
 
 XXX 
 
 OCTOBER loth. I appeared last night as Pier- 
 rette in a performance our Troupe gave. This 
 is how it happened. Among the first class passen- 
 gers there were no distinguished actors and Herr 
 Meyerbaum was asked to permit his Troupe to give 
 a performance for the benefit of the Sailor's Haven. 
 He accepted on condition that half of the proceeds 
 went to his comedians, as they were not in a position 
 to give their services entirely free. He told me 
 he had made this arrangement for my sake, as I 
 had lost my money overboard, and I should get 
 the whole. This I refused, but said we should all 
 share alike. Before I promised to act, I looked 
 over the passenger list to see I had no acquaintances 
 on board. Graf Adel's name was the only one I 
 knew, and I was sure I could depend on his discre- 
 tion. 
 
 Thus the night before landing the performance 
 took place. First on the program was a mono- 
 logue by Herr Knackfuss, supposing himself to be 
 a German emigrant arriving in New York, meeting 
 millionaires who asked him to dinner, and offered 
 him their daughters in marriage. It was amusing 
 
 303
 
 304 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 and fantastic, as the author had never been outside 
 his own country; I think people can write more 
 entertainingly of things they know not, than of 
 things they are intimate with. 
 
 Then followed a duet between Malvina Edelweiss 
 and Alfons von Ritterstuhl, very sentimental and 
 not to my taste. Thirdly, Frau Matrosi and old 
 Herr Schnirbelmaul had a little dialogue as between 
 two German peasants, which was amusing for those 
 who understood the dialect. 
 
 Then came the last number in which I appeared 
 as Pierrette, in a costume composed of my white 
 silk petticoat with black paper disks sewn over it, 
 a white loose waist of Malvina's decorated in the 
 same manner. With white tissue paper I made a 
 big ruff, and with stiff white satin paper I cut out 
 a three cornered hat, with different colored ribbons 
 hanging from one corner. As I stepped forward I 
 made a sensation, and was greeted with a great 
 deal of applause. Herr Schimmel was Pierrot; al- 
 though he is quite old, over fifty, he has a nice bari- 
 tone voice. Herr Schmidt was dressed as Arle- 
 quin; he and Herr Schimmel serenaded me in turn, 
 singing with guitar and mandolin; with rouge and 
 paint we made quite a good effect. Herr Ludwig 
 stood behind the piano representing the moon; his 
 round face, plastered with white appeared through 
 the hole in a disk of blue paper, and looked very 
 comic. I sang and I danced or rather went through
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 305 
 
 a figure with steps and conventional attitudes. I 
 may say our comedy was a success. 
 
 Herr Meyerbaum wanted me to go the rounds 
 with my three cornered hat to make the collection, 
 but I absolutely refused. Herr Ludwig performed 
 the duty instead. 
 
 I had noticed Graf Adel in the front row ; he gave 
 no sign of recognition; afterwards the general at- 
 tention being directed to Herr Meyerbaum who 
 stood up to make a speech, unobserved Graf Adel 
 approached me and whispered: 
 
 " Last time I had the pleasure of seeing you act 
 was at the Russian Embassy before the Grand 
 Duchess Vladimir ; your comrades were two princes, 
 the contrast is strange." 
 
 " Oh, yes, I remember ; but these people act better, 
 and they are kinder, more helpful and less jealous." 
 As I spoke, I know not why, a great lassitude came 
 over me; a desire to hide myself; and in the midst 
 of the noise and clapping of hands which greeted 
 Herr Meyerbaum's speech, I slipped away to my 
 cabin unseen. 
 
 It was quiet there, and as I stood alone, suddenly 
 I was overwhelmed with a terrible feeling of unhap- 
 piness. I cannot describe it ; a sort of nameless 
 misery, that ran through every vein, down to my 
 finger tips; a wretchedness that made me feel like 
 a little lost child. I saw my painted face in the 
 mirror, and for the first time I realized how my 
 20
 
 306 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 grandmother would have disliked to see me thus; 
 and tearing off the hateful clothes, I effaced the 
 paint and powder. Such a yearning I felt to seek 
 refuge in her kind arms ; it seemed to me I was like 
 a young bird fallen from its nest, unable to fly and 
 with no one to assist it. 
 
 I climbed into my berth and hiding my head in 
 the pillow, I sobbed, I sobbed as if my heart would 
 break. I was disturbed by Herr Ludwig who is 
 always sent on errands. He entered my cabin, and 
 his round, painted face appeared over the edge of 
 my berth. I laughed, and then I cried, and then I 
 laughed again in a sort of a convulsive way. He 
 looked at me alarmed and ejaculated: " Ach du 
 Himmel! die Klelne hat N ervenanfall ! " and he 
 rushed away. 
 
 A moment later, as I lay panting in my berth 
 Herr Schimmel entered ; he was also still dressed as 
 a white-faced Pierrot, but he made me not laugh. 
 He looked at me in his quiet kind way and took 
 my hand, and stroked it soothingly, as an old nurse 
 might have done and murmured, "So, so!, muss nit 
 weinen, armes Kmdchen; kleines Madel, das so 
 schon gespielt hat." And over and over again he 
 repeated the same words, patting my shoulder and 
 stroking my hand; so I sobbed no more and only 
 shivered from time to time as waves ripple after a 
 storm. 
 
 Then he offered me a glass of water, and I sat
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 307 
 
 up to drink it. At that moment Herr Meyerbaum 
 and Frau Matrosi, followed by Herr Schmidt en- 
 tered the room, and were aghast at my face all 
 swollen and red. 
 
 " Du barmherzige Jung f ran! Das Kind ist en- 
 stellt! " from Frau Matrosi. 
 
 " Potztausenddonnerwetter! " from Herr Meyer- 
 baum. 
 
 " Ach Jemind! Consinchen ! " from Herr Lud- 
 wig. 
 
 Then Herr Meyerbaum said I must wash my 
 face and get up ; they were going to have a glorious 
 supper in the purser's room, with toasts in my honor, 
 and he laid nine dollars on the bed as my share of 
 the proceeds. " Come Dornroschen," he added, " I 
 will give you a famous engagement; you will be- 
 come celebrated, and make a lot of money; a lot of 
 American money; big dollars; but you must clip 
 your thorns and be a good little Rosa, for nerves 
 destroy the happiness of the actress and the patience 
 of the stage manager." 
 
 " Yes, my little one," said Frau Matrosi. " I 
 will comb your beautiful hair and smooth it, and 
 wash your pretty eyes." 
 
 But I shook my head, and lay down again, and 
 turned my face towards the wall. After a few 
 more excited expostulations, Herr Schimmel sent 
 them away and said he would care for me. 
 
 Standing by my berth, he began singing softly
 
 3 o8 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 those sweet German folk songs, until I was quiet 
 and peaceful. I turned to thank him. He stopped 
 me : " Hush, hush, kleines Madel, thank me not, 
 and listen to me and rest. You are delicate and 
 sensitive, and not shaped of the same coarse ma- 
 terial we are ; you are not meant for the life we 
 lead; it is full of hardships and knocks which bruise 
 the tender ones like you. I know not why you 
 strayed among us, but I know you must leave us 
 and wander back to your own again. I saw the 
 fair young gentleman speak to you ; he is your sort, 
 you and he not you and we belong to each 
 other. I have seen much of life; not from the 
 boxes all high and gilded, but down in the pit, where 
 delicate flowers like you are trodden upon and soiled 
 by coarse usage. So far, you have grown on a 
 long noble stem; you carry your head high, and 
 thorns prick the hand that would pluck you. It is 
 among such carefully raised flowers, in a weeded 
 garden that you must bloom, not among us poor this- 
 tles and dusty wayside plants. Your fragrance is 
 very sweet ; we have all felt its purity ; you know not 
 of evil and therefore know no fear; but listen, my 
 child, to the man who trembles for you, and is full 
 of fear." 
 
 He paused a long time, and then asked, " One 
 question will you answer me? Are you going to a 
 strange country? I think not that you are a Ger- 
 man. Have you friends here ? "
 
 ON BOARD THE AMERIKA 309 
 
 " Yes, dear Herr Schimmel," I said, " to you 
 alone I will tell my story. I have run away from 
 those I lived with in Germany; from my mother, 
 my step- father, my brother and sister; my own 
 father was an American. I am an American. I 
 love my wonderful country. I am a true American. 
 I have friends here, and above all my dear grand- 
 mother; it is to her I am going. Yes, to her I 
 hope." 
 
 But my heart misgave me at the assertion I 
 was making with a certitude of disaster; and again 
 big tears came to my eyes. Without further ques- 
 tioning Herr Schimmel began singing again and I 
 must have dropped into a profound sleep for I 
 heard him not go, nor the two women come to bed. 
 
 This account I have been writing on deck where 
 I have sat since a very early hour. Last night I 
 felt like a foolish weak child, this morning I am 
 strong and courageous. 
 
 The lines of hills are growing visible. I look on 
 them with ardor, drawing hope and resolution from 
 the joy of returning to my dear country. The 
 aspect is not bright with the fresh green of June, 
 but the land looks soft and hazy, and a patriotic 
 tenderness fills my soul. Once more I shall step 
 onto American earth. That joyous thrill is suffi- 
 cient to inspire me with courage and thus what 
 the good God sends me, I am ready to face.
 
 310 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I had nine dollars; three I gave the stewardess 
 who seemed pleased, even unto surprise. The six 
 remaining shall pay my journey to Lenox. We 
 land in time for me to take the afternoon train. 
 It is a wonderful satisfaction to possess money one 
 has earned. I am proud of it; and it gives me 
 confidence that if forced to, I can earn my fortune; 
 for whatever happens I will not return to Europe. 
 
 I found on my bed an engagement drawn by 
 Herr Meyerbaum, to which I only need sign my 
 name; his New York address I have; thus, my 
 fortune is assured, if all else fails me. A great 
 shadow of grief hangs over me, which veils the 
 prospect before me. In a few hours it will be 
 cleared; until then my destiny is obscure. Is my 
 fate to be like the carefully tended flower in a bloom- 
 ing garden? Or am I to be the lonely rose of 
 thorns, with head held bravely high, pricking the 
 fingers that would pluck it ? Oh, I know not !
 
 RILLDALE
 
 XXXI 
 
 OCTOBER nth. I sit looking at the blank 
 pages of my diary, and knowing so well the 
 words that will soon cover them, my pen trembles, 
 I hardly can write, for how can I describe the emo- 
 tions I have experienced? 
 
 Twenty-four hours ago I disembarked at New 
 York. Mr. Meyerbaum had signed our papers. 
 On the dock I did much interpreting for them all, 
 and for the first time they thus knew I could speak 
 English. They pressed me to spend the night at 
 their boarding house, but I said my grandmother 
 was ill, and I must go to her at once. I felt a 
 never-before-imagined impatience that stung me 
 like the pricks of a thousand pins, to depart rap- 
 idly. 
 
 Finally, I got away. I had the intelligence be- 
 fore stepping into a carriage to ask the price, and 
 I found I would not have enough money for the 
 train; so I took various electric trams, and after 
 two or three mistakes I arrived at the station, run- 
 ning to catch the train for Lenox. 
 
 I sank into a seat which I fortunately occupied 
 alone. I was breathless, my heart was beating, and 
 
 313
 
 3 14 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 every nerve was tingling with apprehensions vague 
 and unformed. Then as the dismal blocks of houses 
 became visible, and later the fields and fences dis- 
 figured by odious advertisements, the sky grey with 
 heavy clouds, the day vanishing sadly without the 
 smile of the setting sun, the air growing cold and 
 raw, my abject condition was so overpowering, that 
 never a thrill of joy did I feel at traversing once 
 more my beloved American land. 
 
 Pictures of my grandmother lying cold and sense- 
 less, without response revolved before my vision 
 like fever dreams. I saw myself kneeling at her 
 bedside, praying, sobbing, and her hands unmoved, 
 white and rigid, unable to extend the blessing I 
 implored. No words of comfort could she speak, 
 and my misery grew beyond any power of expres- 
 sion. Great pain turns us into dumb animals. 
 
 I had a book, but I could not read. I had 
 eaten nothing since early morning, and knowing I 
 required all my forces for my journey's end, I 
 bought a sandwich at a station, but I could not 
 swallow it. Night came on, and the train wound 
 its way into the hills, sweeping round great curves, 
 following a river's course. I could hear the wind 
 howl in increasing fury, and the rain beat violently 
 against the window panes. A suffocating steam 
 heat was turned on to the car, which I had never 
 known, and which made me feel dizzy and faint. 
 
 A thousand times I looked at my watch. The
 
 RILLDALE 315 
 
 minutes are exactly timed on the clock but not so do 
 we realize them; to the happy mind they fly like 
 seconds, to the anxious heart they are prolonged 
 into hours, and the hours into centuries of pain. 
 
 Two stations more ! I was growing wild at the 
 delays ; I glanced out of the window and saw as the 
 train moved slowly again a beautiful horse, pran- 
 cing near the platform. A tall man preparing to 
 enter the carriage bent forward to speak to the 
 coachman. The light of the lantern fell on his 
 face. It was Herbert Dale. 
 
 I rose in my seat with the impulse to call him, 
 but we were speeding past the station platform. It 
 was too late. I sank back with a sob of disap- 
 pointment. He had been near me through all this 
 terrible journey. He could have set my mind at rest. 
 An intense longing came over me, for some one to 
 take care of me. All my proud independence was 
 gone. 
 
 The last moments of suspense passed. New and 
 conflicting emotions possessed me. Lenox! was 
 called out. I rose and grasped my bag and rug, 
 my sole possessions. My knees trembled so, that 
 as I stood on the platform with the wind beating 
 against me, for a moment I could not move. One 
 or two travelers passed by and drove off hurriedly. 
 The rain had changed to sleet and after the hot 
 train, I was seized by the cold. 
 
 The night was dark. I saw no other carriage,
 
 316 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 but I rallied my strength : I had not traveled three 
 thousand miles to be a feeble coward in the end, 
 and stumbling on to the platform with a voice 
 nearly firm, I asked the chief of the station where 
 I could obtain a carriage. 
 
 " Where do you want to go? " he asked. 
 
 " I wish to drive to Mrs. Carrington's house," I 
 answered. 
 
 ' That 's the old lady who died a week ago ; the 
 house is closed, the help left this morning." 
 
 I stared at him with my eyes wide open as if 
 I could not understand what he said. He moved 
 away, I remained standing in the wind and rain. 
 The man returned, he said, 
 
 " I am going to close the station, you can't stay 
 here what are you going to do ? " 
 
 " I don't know," I said feebly, " where can I go? " 
 
 " The hotel is open," he said, " or have you 
 friends in these parts ? " 
 
 " I have one friend in Stockbriclge." I spoke 
 hardly knowing what I said. 
 
 "Where abouts?" 
 
 " I could not tell you where he lives," I said. 
 
 "What's his name? I know most of the folks 
 about." 
 
 " Herbert Dale." 
 
 " Oh, that 's all right, he '11 look, after you. I '11 
 put you on board the trolley car for Stockbridge. I 
 hear it coming now. You are powerful young to
 
 RILLDALE 317 
 
 be traveling alone and you are soaked through al- 
 ready. You need some one to look after you." 
 
 " Yes," I said, " I need some one to look after 
 me." 
 
 " Well, Herbert Dale will do that all right ; he 
 is the right sort, and don't you forget it." 
 
 A shrill whistle pierced the night. The chief of 
 the station had an umbrella, and he tried to shield 
 me with it, but it was nearly blown from his hand. 
 I observed everything as if my senses were strung 
 to the keenest perception. 
 
 The lights approached; the electric train stopped. 
 
 " Say, Billy ! Let this girl out at Beach Road ; 
 she is going to Dale's." The conductor nodded, the 
 chief of the station shoved me in. 
 
 " Good-night," he shouted. 
 
 " Thank you," I said and the car started. 
 
 I paid my place and sat perfectly still. I felt 
 as if I were turned to stone; all the nervous rest- 
 lessness was gone ; from time to time I shivered 
 so that my teeth chattered. I do not know how 
 long I remained in the car. The conductor called 
 to me, " Here 's your stop." 
 
 I got up, " Where do I go now?" I asked mechan- 
 ically. 
 
 " Follow the road to the top of the hill ; up 
 there on the mountain you can see the lights of 
 Dale's house." 
 
 "How far is it? "I asked.
 
 3i8 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " A bit above a mile. Here 's your grip you 
 were forgetting." 
 
 I descended into a pool of water. The rain 
 stung with icy sharpness; the wind had risen to 
 a gale, and my garments whipped around me so 
 that I could hardly walk. 
 
 The tramway started, and soon vanished in the 
 dark. I was alone! The obscurity was profound. 
 The deeper blackness of trees and bushes was the 
 only indication of the sides of the road. The sleet 
 transpierced me. I stumbled at every step; my bag 
 was heavy. My only guide was the distant light on 
 the mountain, which seemed to recede as I ad- 
 vanced. 
 
 Twice my hat blew off, and as a more furious 
 assault of the wind swept upon me, I stopped, and 
 said to myself with great clearness of mind as if 
 counseling some one else " Leave your bag and 
 rug under this tree; by the side of this bridge; 
 there you can find them to-morrow, for you are 
 too weak to carry them further; your hat leave 
 there also; your strength is nearly gone; you must 
 depend only on your will. Courage! March! 
 you must reach his house to-night." If but the 
 stars were shining that might smile on me, as if 
 with the eyes of the dear dead! For there I like 
 to think they dwell. But no ! Above, around, on 
 every side, only darkness. 
 
 The road mounted steeply ; my breath was short ;
 
 RILLDALE 319 
 
 my heart beat in a strange manner; my eyes were 
 fixed on the mountain. I stopped again, and I 
 could distinguish the lights in the distant house 
 shining from different windows; as I looked I saw 
 one extinguished, and then another. It was no 
 doubt very late, and soon the lights would all be 
 out, and then how should I find the way? Should 
 I lie beneath the hedge like a poor lamb lost in 
 a storm? Surely then I should die. I shivered 
 from head to foot. I was wet ; I was cold, and the 
 darkness filled me with terrors. I thought I saw 
 weird shadows moving; and with a sort of de- 
 spairing resolution I advanced murmuring: Cour- 
 age ! Courage ! 
 
 I reached what seemed the top of the road; an- 
 other road ran across it. On the hill side, one 
 light was shining; the wind struck me as if to 
 throw me down; I bent my head, and when I lifted 
 it again, the light was out. Which way now to 
 turn? I knew not. I knelt down and prayed, and 
 in my anguish I prayed to my grandmother, as if 
 she were a saint in Heaven. 
 
 " Oh, my dear Grandmother, I have come to you 
 from across the great Ocean, longing for you all 
 the time, for you are the only one who loves me. 
 I yearned to have your arms about me, and have 
 you bend your head to bless me ; bless me now 
 I beseech you ; I have lost my way ; I am like a 
 little desolate child, and I shall die if I find no shel-
 
 320 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ter; children die and young people like me too, 
 it matters not so very much, but I should like to live 
 a little longer; show me the way to his house, for 
 there I shall be safe." 
 
 I rose from my knees, and turned to the left ; 
 thus the wind was behind me. I had gone but a few 
 steps when I perceived to my right two gate posts; 
 they surely indicated the road to a house, and as I 
 passed through they seemed vaguely familiar. In- 
 stead of the deep mud I had been traversing I could 
 feel beneath my foot the gravel of an avenue. I 
 mounted onwards by great bends, amidst open 
 meadows; then the avenue continued through a 
 wood which was so dark, I had to feel my way 
 slowly ; I passed on a bridge, beneath which I heard 
 water flowing. Then I remembered how in the 
 summer, when my pony had run away and I was 
 lost on a similar road, that I had passed likewise 
 through prairies, a forest and a stream. Then I 
 was suffering from great heat in the blazing noon 
 sun, now I was perishing from cold in a stormy 
 night, but surely it was the same path. 
 
 In the same manner as before, when I thought 
 my strength was utterly gone, the trees unex- 
 pectedly opened to a clear space, and I saw the out- 
 line of a big house. 
 
 I reflected thus: "Is every one asleep within? 
 Where can I enter? Shall my knocking be heard? " 
 
 Vaguely to my right I see a faint reflection of a
 
 RILLDALE 321 
 
 light. I mount the stone steps of a terrace ; I per- 
 ceive that through three long windows light is 
 shining; I approach, and turn the handle of the 
 nearest window. I open the glass door. I walk 
 in, shutting the door behind me. 
 
 I was in the library I remembered so well. A fire 
 was blazing in the great chimney ; Herbert Dale sat 
 in front of it. He turned and saw me, and jumped 
 to his feet. I could neither speak nor move; a 
 strange faintness came over me. 
 
 He looked at me first with the greatest surprise, 
 and then with a sort of horror. He has told me 
 since, that as I stood there, pale, with staring eyes, 
 for an instant, he thought I was my own spirit. 
 
 Half unconsciously I held out my hands to him 
 and murmured, " I have come to you, please take 
 care of me." 
 
 He came forward ; I felt the touch of his fingers ; 
 everything grew obscure. He caught me as I fell. 
 Gradually my consciousness returned. I was lying 
 on the sofa before the fire, and he was kneeling at 
 my side, chafing my hands. I kept my eyes closed 
 not to disturb what seemed at first a wonderful 
 dream. I heard him murmur : " Poor little girl ! 
 Poor child ! " 
 
 His voice was gentle, his hands held mine in 
 a clasp so protecting and strong, I felt with a 
 sense of peace that at last, someone was taking 
 care of me; thus I moved not, but remained quite
 
 322 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 still. He lifted a strand of my hair which had 
 blown all over my shoulders. " Where does she 
 come from, she is dripping wet!" He made a 
 movement to rise from his knees. I could not bear 
 to have him leave me ; I opened my eyes and looked 
 at him without speaking. He bent over me; his 
 expression was anxious and so kind as I had never 
 expected to see. 
 
 " Yvonne," he said, " speak to me, where do you 
 come from ? " 
 
 " From Germany," I answered. 
 
 " From Germany ! " he repeated, " I mean to- 
 night where do you come from ? " 
 
 " Out of the storm," I murmured, and I shivered. 
 
 He rose to his feet : " Where is your maid ? 
 Where is your trunk? I heard no carriage ap- 
 proach. You must change your clothes." 
 
 " I came alone," I said, " I have brought nothing 
 with me." 
 
 My lip trembled; it was difficult not to cry, for 
 I felt very pitiable. He looked at me perplexed and 
 repeated, " All alone from Germany," and seeing 
 my shoes covered with mud he bent down and took 
 them off, " you walked here, how far ? " he asked. 
 
 " From the tramway at the bottom of a hill, up 
 a long, long, road." 
 
 Again I shivered. 
 
 ' You are cold ; you must take these wet things 
 off. I have no woman in the house. I am only
 
 RILLDALE 323 
 
 picnicking here with a man servant; he went to bed 
 some time ago." He knit his brow as if reflect- 
 ing. 
 
 I arose and stretched out my hand to him : " Oh 
 please Mr. Dale, don't send me away again. I have 
 nobody in the world to go to now; let me stay by 
 the fire; I shall dry myself thus, and soon I shall 
 be stronger; just to-night let me stay." 
 
 He took my trembling hands in his. " Dear 
 child," he said, " don't be alarmed : you shall remain 
 here. I am going to hunt for something that you 
 can wear." 
 
 He left the room. I stood by the mantelpiece 
 and waited. In a moment he returned carrying a 
 red silk quilted and embroidered Japanese kimono, 
 woolen golf stockings and a fur coat. 
 
 " Take your dress off," he said, " here by the 
 fire, and put these things on. I shall be gone for 
 a few minutes to warm some milk for you." 
 
 He went, and I obeyed him and took off my 
 clothes. I wrapped the red silk gown around me, 
 pulled on the long woolen stockings, and put the 
 fur cloak around my shoulders. I then sat down 
 in a big arm chair by the fire; my hair fell to my 
 waist, for I had lost all my hairpins when the wind 
 blew off my hat. 
 
 I must have had an appearance extraordinary, 
 for when Mr. Dale returned, he stood still an instant 
 looking at me and exclaimed, " By Jove ! "
 
 324 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 He gave me a long glass filled with warm milk, 
 a little sweetened and with rum in it. I drank 
 slowly ; a delicious warmth penetrated me, for until 
 then I had felt as if the marrow of my bones were 
 congealed. 
 
 ' That is good," I said, and he put down my 
 emptied glass; then drawing a chair near mine he 
 sat down beside me. 
 
 " Now," he said, " if you feel up to it, tell me 
 what strange adventure brought you here to-night." 
 
 " But yes," I answered, " I will tell you every- 
 thing: the reason of my leaving Germany was I 
 heard my dear grandmother was ill, very ill, but my 
 mother wished me not to depart, so I had to run 
 away from the Castle and go to America alone; 
 from the steamer I went to Lenox, and there the 
 chief of the station told me my grandmother had 
 died last week." Emotion overcame me: I hid 
 my face in my hands, and I sobbed. 
 
 " Poor little girl," he said softly, and laid his 
 hand on my bowed head as if to protect me. It 
 soothed my grief a little. I no longer sobbed. 
 After a moment he gently drew down my hands 
 from my face, and said : " Listen, Yvonne, I will 
 tell you now what I know about your grandmother's 
 illness, if you want to hear." 
 
 " Oh, yes," I said, " I beseech you tell me every- 
 thing about her; for I know nothing." And as he 
 drew not away his hand, my fingers remained
 
 RILLDALE 325 
 
 clasped in his, and this seemed to give me courage 
 to listen, and comfort to my sorrow. 
 
 He began in a low, even voice. " Your grand- 
 mother came as usual to Lenox this autumn. I 
 have always called on her, and this year I went 
 oftener than usual. We often spoke of you. She 
 loved you dearly." 
 
 ' Yes, I know," I said with a sob, " and I loved 
 her more than anybody on the earth." 
 
 " She told me," he continued, " that she feared 
 you were not happy with your family in Germany; 
 that perhaps your mother did not quite understand 
 your character." 
 
 " Oh," I cried, " my mother has never tried to 
 understand me, she thinks I have nothing but bad 
 qualities ! " 
 
 " Your grandmother on the contrary said you had 
 the warmest heart and the sweetest disposition she 
 had ever seen, but she dreaded that in your im- 
 petuousness you did not often consider the conse- 
 quences of your acts." 
 
 " That is true ! I am constantly astonished at 
 what arrives to me." 
 
 " Therefore I think she was worried over you. 
 The last time I saw her, she was then feeling very 
 unwell, she said to me it would be a comfort 
 for her to know that I would stand by you in case 
 of necessity, for if anything happened to her you 
 had no one to turn to."
 
 326 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " Oh, yes, that is so," I said and bent my head to 
 hide my tears. 
 
 " I assured your grandmother I would do my 
 utmost to be of help to you, although I feared I 
 was not the kind of man a young girl like you would 
 appeal to." 
 
 " Oh, why not ? " I asked looking at him ques- 
 tioningly. 
 
 He looked at me a moment with an expression I 
 could not define. " We shall not talk now of other 
 matters which concern you and which your grand- 
 mother apparently ignored." 
 
 I knew not what he meant. 
 
 He continued : " Your grandmother's cold devel- 
 oped into pneumonia ; she became rapidly uncon- 
 scious, and was spared all suffering, for when I 
 returned five days later I met her nephew, Henry 
 Short, who told me she had died very peacefully." 
 
 I moaned : " Oh, my dear, dear grandmother," 
 and because it was she who told him to be my friend, 
 as he sat beside me holding my hand, I leant my 
 head upon his shoulder and wept. 
 
 " Poor little girl," he whispered, and I felt in 
 truth like a desolate child. 
 
 After a while, as I became calmer, he said : " Lis- 
 ten Yvonne, I will tell you the rest." 
 
 I sat up straighter and wiped my eyes, regain- 
 ing thus the freedom of my hands, for I knew he 
 could not hold them forever.
 
 RILLDALE 327 
 
 " The funeral was in New York five days ago. 
 I tried several times on the following days to see 
 your Cousin Henry, but he was either absent from 
 his office or engaged. At last this morning I ob- 
 tained an interview; it was not altogether a pleas- 
 ant one, for when I told him I wished to ask what 
 news he had of you, as I intended writing to you, 
 or perhaps running over to Europe for a few days ; 
 he informed me it was impossible to communicate 
 with you at present; that he had received a very 
 disturbing piece of intelligence concerning you, the 
 nature of which he could not discuss with a 
 stranger." 
 
 "Oh, what an odious man he is!" I exclaimed 
 with indignation. 
 
 " He was very much excited and relentlessly un- 
 communicative. I cabled to you, and decided to 
 await your answer as to whether you would like 
 to see me or not." 
 
 " Oh, how good you are, how kind ! " 
 
 " I was keeping my promise. Now will you tell 
 me your own tale, how you came to my house to- 
 night?" 
 
 " I arrived by the last train to Lenox." 
 
 " I was on that train." 
 
 " Yes, I only saw you as you entered your car- 
 riage, it was too late to call you. When at the 
 Lenox station I was told my grandmother had 
 died, that her house was closed, and when I was
 
 328 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 asked if I had any friend, I could only think of you. 
 I was put on the trolley car, and then left at the 
 bottom of the road, with the light of your house to 
 guide me. Oh, it was terrible walking in the dark- 
 ness and in the storm, and when the light went 
 out, I thought I was lost; but no, the good God 
 heard my prayer, and I found your avenue, and 
 thus I came. That is my story." 
 
 " I want to hear more of your future plans, 
 but we shall wait till to-morrow ; now you must 
 rest." 
 
 As he stopped speaking, in the silence, a clock 
 in the hall struck the hour; we listened, I counted 
 twelve strokes ; we looked at each other. 
 
 " It is late," I said. 
 
 " Yes," he answered, " I shall make a fire in 
 one of the rooms upstairs, for the house is very 
 cold." 
 
 " Let me remain here," I said, " I can sleep near 
 this beautiful fire, on that long comfortable sofa, 
 thus I shall give no trouble." 
 
 He reflected a moment. " Very well, stay here ; 
 I will get blankets and pillows. A dressing room 
 is next door, where you will find brushes, soap, all 
 you require. May I ask if you brought nothing 
 with you from Europe ? " 
 
 " Oh, yes, a few things, in a bag I left under a 
 big tree by the bridge. I was too weary to carry
 
 RILLDALE 329 
 
 it further, my rug covers it, it may not be quite 
 spoilt." 
 
 " To-morrow we shall hunt it up," he said, and 
 left the room. 
 
 I found all I needed in the dressing-room ; it re- 
 freshed me washing my tear-stained face. I 
 braided my hair in two long plaits, and when he 
 returned he found me on the sofa. 
 
 He arranged the pillows beneath my head, cov- 
 ered me with the blankets as carefully as a woman 
 might have done. And after putting two enormous 
 logs on the fire, he looked down at me a moment. 
 I gave him my hand: "Good-night," I said, "I 
 know not how to thank you ! for had you not taken 
 me in, I certainly should have died in the storm," 
 and very shyly I added : " May I call you, my 
 Friend, now and for always ? " 
 
 He did not answer me at once, then he said : " I 
 never succeeded in being a woman's friend; with 
 a child it may be different. Good-night." 
 
 He left the room, I not knowing how to inter- 
 pret his words; all the tenderness he had shown 
 me had gone from his voice ; I felt chilled and dis- 
 tressed. 
 
 I lay a long time with my eyes wide open, star- 
 ing at the firelight ; the long red and yellow flames 
 flashed brightly and lost themselves up the big 
 chimney. I could hear the wind sweep round the
 
 330 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 house. I was in safety, and yet all alone in the 
 world ; the uncertainty of the words " serious, not 
 dangerous " had resolved themselves in the knowl- 
 edge of my great loss. 
 
 Nobody cared now what happened to me! 
 Why would he not call himself my friend? Did 
 he mean he liked me not as a woman, but only as a 
 child? 
 
 I looked around the great room filled with fan- 
 tastic shadows. The room I had entered so cheer- 
 fully when the roses bloomed in summer, into which 
 to-night I had been driven by the storm, in de- 
 spair seeking a refuge. On the next day no doubt 
 I must leave. Should I ever come back again? 
 
 Feverish, with images of all sorts chasing through 
 my brain, I know not how long it was before I fell 
 asleep.
 
 XXXII 
 
 OCTOBER nth continued I awoke with 
 the sound of low voices talking in the room. 
 At first I thought I lay in my berth on the steamer, 
 and then I suddenly realized where I was. 
 
 The sun was shining brightly; I saw Mr. Dale 
 speaking to a young girl. I wondered who she was. 
 They stood in the window ; I noticed her hair was 
 the color of flax. 
 
 As I moved, they turned round, and I recognized 
 Anna Engel. She came forward quickly, and we 
 kissed each other. 
 
 " How well you look ! " was the first thing I said, 
 for in truth she no longer appeared like the poor 
 consumptive girl in the hospital. 
 
 " Ach liebes Fraiilein!" she exclaimed, "it is 
 owing to you and Mr. Dale that I am alive; you 
 are my two benefactors, and in my prayers your 
 names are always united on my lips." 
 
 I know not why, but I blushed, and I felt very 
 shy when Mr. Dale wished me good-morning. 
 
 " You have slept nearly twelve hours," he said. 
 "I hope you feel rested; a room is prepared for 
 you upstairs, and Fraiilein Engel will show you 
 
 33i
 
 332 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 the way. Your clothes have been pressed; I found 
 your bag; the rug preserved it from utter ruin, but 
 your hat has vanished." 
 
 I thanked him for the trouble he had taken, and 
 Anna Engel and I went upstairs. A charming bed- 
 room, with a fire brightly burning was prepared for 
 me. Also a cup of tea. 
 
 " How pretty this is ! " I said, and went to the 
 window which overlooked the terrace and the woods 
 beyond. It resembled not the scene of last night; 
 everything was lit by the sun making the whole 
 earth shining and happy; and my anxious feelings 
 were replaced by a sensation of sadness full of 
 resignation. 
 
 Anna and I talked for some time; she was very 
 sweet and sympathetic about my dear grandmother ; 
 as much so, as if she had also loved her; her grati- 
 tude to me is very touching, for it was simply a 
 lucky chance on my part that I had helped her, 
 with no trouble to myself. I told her how much 
 influence her own story had had upon my resolve 
 to come alone to America. Thus one person's ex- 
 perience seems to be a link in the chain of all human 
 experiences bound together and endlessly revolv- 
 ing. 
 
 She expresses the greatest reverence for Mr. Dale 
 and cites of him all sorts of acts of kindness. She 
 leaves the Home in a little while to achieve her 
 complete recovery at San Moritz, where Mr. Dale
 
 RILLDALE 333 
 
 lias arranged that she shall go with Mrs. Lacy to be 
 the governess of her two little children. 
 
 I like to think that, although he seems hard, and 
 brusque, and cynical at times, he possesses all this 
 great thought fulness and goodness, which must be 
 Ijis real nature. 
 
 Anna Engel left me while I dressed. It was de- 
 licious taking a warm bath in the white tiled bath- 
 room. I am ashamed to love so all the luxuries 
 of existence, and after the squalor of the ship they 
 seemed to me more enviable than ever. My clothes 
 were miraculously restored to a decent appearance. 
 I look rather pale, and feel full of lassitude, which 
 is but natural. 
 
 Having some time to wait before lunch, I wrote 
 the experiences of yesterday in my diary; then the 
 gong sounded and I descended. 
 
 Mr. Dale and Anna awaited me in the library, 
 where a little table was set for us in the big window. 
 I was silent, and they spared me the effort of con- 
 versation. Mr. Dale said that Anna would remain 
 with me here in the house, and he spoke not fur- 
 ther of my future. 
 
 After lunch he invited me to go to drive with 
 him, which I willingly accepted. I wore a fur 
 coat of his, and having no hat, I bound a blue 
 scarf round my head. He said it mattered not, 
 as we should avoid the village and frequented roads. 
 
 We drove in a phaeton with two horses; he con-
 
 334 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ducted himself; we went so quick, so quick, that it 
 was an excitement and a pleasure. 
 
 The air was wonderfully fresh and sparkling, and 
 the mountains looked blue. He told me that the 
 brilliant foliage had been blown off by last night's 
 storm, but many yellow and red leaves were left in 
 protected valleys which gave me a proof of the 
 beautiful carnation the trees of America wear in 
 Autumn. 
 
 When I thought of my grandmother, the tears 
 would rush to my eyes, but at the same time I 
 felt a quiet joy to be alone with him, and yet a 
 feeling of great timidity possessed me also. He 
 questioned me about my life in Germany, in the 
 castle, and said he was sorry for me to have been 
 subjected to a woman like Fraiilein. I spoke of 
 my Latin lessons with Candidat Hasemann, which 
 had been transformed into philosophy and ended 
 rather unfortunately. Then I told him of my first 
 quarrel with my mother, how she wished me to 
 marry an Austrian nobleman. 
 
 Mr. Dale looked at me curiously when I said this. 
 
 " I fancied from something my nephew Bobby 
 told me, that you were already engaged." 
 
 " Oh," I said consternated, " what has Bobby 
 told you?" 
 
 " Bobby informed me he had asked you to marry 
 him when you were together at Bar Harbor ; you 
 refused because you were already engaged; he said
 
 RILLDALE 335 
 
 to me : ' You know, Uncle Herbert, all the men 
 are crazy about her; a foreign prince was running 
 after her, an idiotic middle-aged cousin was evi- 
 dently dotty about her, and even an old chap like 
 you would think she was the most attractive girl 
 in the world,' Bobby shows occasionally some 
 discernment." 
 
 This Mr. Dale said smilingly, then he added in 
 quite a different tone : " Your grandmother, as I 
 hinted to you last night, was ignorant of your en- 
 gagement, or else I hardly think she would have con- 
 sidered it natural for you to want to turn to me in 
 your trouble. I promised, however, to do what I 
 could ; but I do not know if in the future my services 
 can be acceptable to you or not." 
 
 Oh ! what difficult situation was mine ! He who 
 had been disappointed by a young girl and ren- 
 dered cynical thereby, how would he understand that 
 I also could so easily break my engagement. Es- 
 pecially, Romola being my cousin, he would con- 
 sider it a family resemblance, just as our noses and 
 eyes are alike! 
 
 I looked all around me; we were driving on the 
 top of a high hill, the beautiful country displayed 
 before us on all sides, and distant mountains over 
 which the sun was gradually descending; no cloud 
 in the sky. I turned and looked at him. He was 
 watching his horses; his face was in profile, clear 
 cut, with a firm, decided chin. Oh! how I wished
 
 336 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 to have him like me, and approve of me, not con- 
 sider me a child, but a woman. I understood also 
 now his refusal of friendship. 
 
 " Mr. Dale," I said speaking with much hesita- 
 tion, " it is very difficult for me to explain to you 
 the circumstances of my engagement." 
 
 " I have asked for no explanation," he said coldly. 
 
 " Do you not wish to hear? " I asked timidly. 
 
 He turned and looked at me, and I looked up 
 imploringly into his eyes, " I want you not to think 
 badly of me," I said. 
 
 His expression became softer with the kind 
 look I love so much. " I can not think badly of 
 you, no matter what you say or do, you strange, 
 adorable child." 
 
 A little reassured, I began : " You see when I 
 came to America in June for the first time, I had 
 never talked to a young man, except to Bobby 
 on the ship, but then he is only a boy ! So at West 
 Point it was my first experience. An officer took 
 interest in me, and gave me history lessons. Do 
 you know, Mr. Dale, I think it is not wise to let 
 young men give young girls lessons. I know not 
 why, but it renders the teachers very impression- 
 able." 
 
 " Even the Latin masters," he said laughingly. 
 
 I blushed and went on " So because I knew 
 so little of life, and because also this young officer 
 was very nice, and wore the American uniform,
 
 RILLDALE 337 
 
 I thought it a thing all natural, when he said he 
 loved me to become affianced to him. It deso- 
 lated me, later on, to break my engagement, for I 
 am afraid it hurt him, although he was never bitter, 
 and was not rendered cynical; he only looked very 
 sad when I told him he must surely think it wrong 
 to be espoused without my loving him. Do you 
 not think I was right? " 
 
 " Oh, Yvonne ! " he answered, speaking more im- 
 pulsively than I had ever heard him, " I can not 
 be your judge; you are the most beguiling creature 
 I have ever seen. I am sorry for the poor devil. 
 He is no doubt a brave man ; I congratulate him 
 at not being cynical. I doubt if in his case I should 
 behave so well." 
 
 Oh ! I wanted so much then to ask him again 
 if he would be my Friend : I need a friend so much, 
 but I did not dare. 
 
 For a time we were silent, then he questioned 
 me about my voyage on the ocean. I told him 
 about Herr Meyerbaum and the Troupe. 
 
 When I had finished, he said : " I do not like 
 at all the idea of your associating with all those 
 people." 
 
 " Oh, but Mr. Dale, they were very kind to me ; 
 and do you not think that true nobility consists 
 in not being dependent on other people ; think you 
 not, that it is well to earn one's own living? " 
 
 " I agree with you there, I respect workers of all 
 
 22
 
 338 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 kinds. Typewriters, stenographers, teachers, even 
 factory girls are a far higher type of woman than 
 idle society girls whose only interest is in their flirta- 
 tions." 
 
 His saying this strengthened me in my resolu- 
 tion to seek work. 
 
 On returning to the house I lay down, as I felt 
 much fatigued. Anna Engel sat with me in my 
 room. She told me that during the last two 
 months Mr. Dale had her learn typewriting ; she had 
 done work for him, and earned quite a little money ; 
 on her telling me this, I asked her if she would 
 lend me seven dollars, that I would repay her in 
 a week or two. I mean to go to New York and 
 seek employment; this I did not tell her. She was 
 so pleased that I should ask of her anything, and 
 offered me more ; but that will suffice as I only need 
 enough to get to the city. Unfortunately I forgot 
 the cheque book at Wildesheim, my grandmother 
 had given me. I know nothing about money af- 
 fairs, but I certainly can earn enough to support 
 myself. 
 
 Anna Engel has also lent me a hat; I divine it is 
 her very best, but it is very ugly. 
 
 We dined again in the library, and soon after 
 dinner Anna Engel went up to her room: she is 
 very discreet. 
 
 Mr. Dale and I sat before the fire. It was so 
 intimate, so delicious, I wished it could always be
 
 RILLDALE 339 
 
 thus; but my thoughts were rudely dispersed by 
 his first words. 
 
 " We must talk a little about your future plans. 
 I have sent a cable to your mother, to reassure her ; 
 for she must have suffered great anxiety concern- 
 ing you." 
 
 " She has suffered principally because she thinks 
 I disgraced the family and have ruined the pros- 
 pects of a high alliance for my sister Wilhelmine." 
 
 " How old is Wilhelmine? " 
 
 " Only ten, but my mother has plans for her 
 future." 
 
 " I think your mother will no doubt send for 
 you." 
 
 " Oh ! " I exclaimed, " it would be the most hor- 
 rible thing to return. How can you be so cruel as 
 to suggest it ? " 
 
 " Surely a young girl of eighteen can not run 
 away from home and expect to be allowed to wan- 
 der about at her will. I have telegraphed to your 
 Cousin Henry. I am going to New York to-mor- 
 row, I shall see him. He will very likely return 
 with me. You can remain here with Anna Engel 
 for the next two or three days; then I think the 
 most suitable place for you to await your mother's 
 orders will be with your Cousin Carolina; Henry 
 Short is your grandmother's executor, and he is, 
 no doubt, your trustee." 
 
 I stared at him as he spoke, with my eyes wide
 
 340 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 open with horror. I rose to my feet; at first I 
 could not find my breath to speak, then I said, in 
 a very low voice, looking down at him : 
 
 " You want to torture me ; you have thought 
 of everything that would be the most terrible for 
 me. I would never have believed your heart could 
 be so hard and unpitiful." 
 
 " My dear child," he said, and rising stood in 
 front of me, " I am profoundly sorry for you ; I 
 wish some happier plan could be devised, for I know 
 you have no great fondness for your cousins." 
 
 " I hate them ! " I muttered. 
 
 "If your aunt, Mrs. King, were here, you would 
 naturally go to her house, but she and Nancy are 
 abroad; only Mr. King and Mischief with her gov- 
 erness are in town. Besides I have no right to 
 decide what you shall do, whereas your Cousin 
 Henry has the right. You must be patient, and 
 things won't appear quite so bad." 
 
 I was trying very hard to control myself; it is 
 a dreadful sensation to be on the verge of cry- 
 ing at a moment when you want to appear very 
 strong; I felt as if I had to plead to save myself 
 from an awful destiny. 
 
 " You do not understand," I said, " that Cousin 
 Carolina likes me not at all, she has always thought 
 badly of me, now she will think worse for my run- 
 ning away from my home. Cousin Henry although 
 he approves not of me, likes me too much, that is
 
 RILLDALE 341 
 
 unendurable. I don't know how they will treat me 
 if I return to Germany." I could speak no more. 
 
 " Come," he said, " don't take things quite so 
 hard. You exaggerate the disapproval of your 
 mother and your cousins; they will understand you 
 ran away to reach your grandmother; that you are 
 sorrowing for her now. Promise me you will be 
 a good child " 
 
 His saying this was more than I could bear. 
 Half sobbing, I cried: "I am not a child, I will 
 not stay with my cousins, I will not go back to 
 Germany. Nobody wants me, I am all alone in 
 the world, and I am very unhappy ! " I leant my 
 head against the mantelpiece, and I wept bitterly, 
 very bitterly; nothing was heard in the room but 
 my sobs. After a moment Mr. Dale approached 
 me and laid his hand on my shoulder. 
 
 " Yvonne, my dear, don't misunderstand me ; 
 from the bottom of my heart I am sorry for you. 
 I want to do all I can to help you, but you are 
 very young " 
 
 " Oh ! " I cried raising my head and facing him, 
 the tears running down my cheeks, " I know you 
 treat me as a child, but I am not; Anna Engel 
 at my age gained her life, I made nine dollars on 
 the ship, so I am capable of working." 
 
 " That will hardly be necessary for Mrs. Carring- 
 ton's granddaughter," he said with a smile ; a smile 
 apparently at my childishness ; it was intolerable.
 
 342 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 " I can not bear," I cried, " to have you treat 
 me so; you mock yourself of me; you and Cousin 
 Henry, seeing I have so little power to defend my- 
 self, want to force me to follow your wills. Ah ! 
 if you knew how sad it was to lose what one loves, 
 to have every one think badly of you; that because 
 one is young every one thinks you foolish! You 
 would not be so cruel. I thought perhaps on ac- 
 count of your promise to my dear grandmother 
 you at least would try to be kind to me; but no, 
 you even refused to be my friend " No longer 
 could I control my bitterness and sorrow, and sob- 
 bing I ran out of the door, up the staircase, into my 
 room. 
 
 With every sort of emotion and despair I paced 
 up and down unceasingly. After a long time, I had 
 to rest from sheer fatigue. 
 
 To calm myself, as is my habit, I sat down and 
 wrote these pages. Midnight is striking at the hall 
 clock! My resolution is formed. I have run 
 away once, I shall run away again. Nobody shall 
 know where I have gone. I have only to sign my 
 engagement with Herr Meyerbaum ; thus my future 
 is assured. I shall work, I shall grow old, and 
 some day Herbert Dale will say : " I was mistaken, 
 she was not a child."
 
 XXXIII 
 
 OCTOBER 1 2th. The sun streamed into my 
 room as I awoke. Anna Engel stood at 
 the foot of my bed, she was smiling. " You look," 
 she said, " when you sleep, like a little girl twelve 
 years old." 
 
 " I am nearly as old as you," I said. 
 
 " Ach! after working three or four years and liv- 
 ing among strangers one's youth disappears. But 
 here is a letter from Mr. Dale. He left by the early 
 morning train." 
 
 When I was alone, I broke the seal with hasty 
 fingers; the letter was dated last evening; here is 
 what he wrote 
 
 "Dear Yvonne, 
 
 "I hear your footsteps pacing the floor above me ; 
 to know that you are agitated and unhappy dis- 
 tresses me more than I can express, more no doubt 
 than you will believe. I wish, my dear, (the word 
 ' child ' was effaced) that instead of adding to your 
 perplexities, I could help you to your independence, 
 for this apparently is your chief desire. You 
 call me cruel ; it is the last thing I wish to be. I 
 
 343
 
 344 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 am afraid my arguments were clumsy; I am aware 
 they were unconvincing, but perhaps when you 
 realize the trust placed by your grandmother in Mr. 
 Short, in making him the executor of her will, for 
 her sake you may wish to consult him; in fact, I 
 have no right to any decision. You misunderstood 
 my meaning if you thought I refused to be your 
 friend. Yes, let me be a friend; this is a suitable 
 position for a man who is twice your age; and yet 
 this title and also what must seem to you my ad- 
 vanced years, do not enable me to keep you under my 
 roof, and I am forced to seek for you a shelter else- 
 where. Therefore I beg you not to judge me too 
 harshly, if I am constrained to act the part of a 
 severe mentor. . . . Your restless little feet 
 are still pacing above me, betraying the state 
 of mind which I have provoked. My heart aches 
 to comfort you, but here below I must remain, and 
 I must also remain by my resolve to resign my care 
 of you into the hands of your cousin, at any rate 
 for the present. Forgive me for accomplishing 
 my distasteful task. 
 
 " Yours faithfully, 
 
 " HERBERT DALE." 
 
 How can I describe the impression his letter has 
 produced ! His style appears very clear and yet 
 I do not understand the meaning of all he says. 
 He wants me not to think him unkind ; his idea
 
 RILLDALE 345 
 
 of friendship seems but a cold one, yet if his heart 
 ached for me, then he has some warmth of feeling. 
 One thing is clear: his will is strong, but so is 
 mine, and Cousin Henry shall not be my ruler. 
 
 A train leaves Stockbridge at one o'clock; my 
 preparations to depart are all made. I told Anna 
 I wished to lunch early, and go to drive immediately 
 after. She has to spend the' afternoon at the Home, 
 for some treatment she is taking. It is a cheerful 
 place. We visited there this morning, and all the 
 patients speak enthusiastically of Mr. Dale. It 
 must be the best thing in the world to be rich, so 
 as to be able to help the poor. 
 
 I am writing my answer to Herbert Dale : 
 
 " Dear Mr. Dale 
 
 " You wrote with the wish to pacify me, and you 
 try to be kind, but in the same way that your reso- 
 lution is unchanged, so is mine the same. You 
 say you have no right over me; therefore I have 
 no reason to obey you, and I am leaving your 
 house ; for I understand well that even if you were 
 my friend and had grey hairs, I could not stay 
 here longer. What it signifies to have Cousin 
 Henry execute my grandmother's will, I know not, 
 but his will he shall not execute on me : for he 
 would in truth be my executioner. I should die 
 if I lived with him and Cousin Carolina! I am 
 going to earn my own life; you said you respected
 
 346 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 working girls the most. I may not become rich 
 at first, that matters not, but I will prove to you 
 that I am not a child, and as I have given you 
 and other people much trouble, it is well for rne 
 to disappear, and cause no more annoyances. I 
 am fortunately in my own country, thus I have 
 nothing to fear when I travel alone, and this in- 
 spires me with courage and confidence in my future. 
 Good-bye, dear Mr. Dale, I thank you for letting 
 me stay these two days with you; notwithstanding 
 my great sorrow, I shall keep of them a good re- 
 membrance. Not for what you intend to do, but 
 for what you have already done in the past, I shall 
 always be 
 
 " Your grateful, 
 
 " YVONNE." 
 
 " P. S. As soon as I have earned money, I shall 
 send you the ten dollars you paid for me and An- 
 gelique, in the train to Newport, the first time I saw 
 you ; for I wish not to be in your debt." 
 
 To Anna Engel I wrote a few lines thanking her 
 for the seven dollars, which I should soon return, 
 and for her hat, which is suitable for me now as a 
 working girl. I told her I was going to New York, 
 and not to be disturbed about me at all, and that her 
 story and example had been my great inspiration. 
 
 For the last time I look out over the distant blue 
 hills, this scene I have so quickly grown to love.
 
 RILLDALE 347 
 
 It would be a happy fate to live here always, but I 
 shall never see it again. 
 
 I have lost my grandmother; my friends all dis- 
 approve of me ; I have no fortune ; I must depend 
 alone upon myself; I am in debt of seventeen dol- 
 lars, and so I must go and earn my bread. Thou- 
 sands of other young girls do it, so why not I?
 
 NEW YORK
 
 M**
 
 XXXIV 
 
 OCTOBER 1 5th, Fran Goldstein's Boarding 
 House Three days have passed since I last 
 wrote, and I must begin with the moment I left 
 Stockbridge. 
 
 It was very easy to depart; I went to the station 
 all naturally without any one questioning me ; I 
 gave the coachman the note for Anna Engel; the 
 one for Mr. Dale I had left on the hall table. 
 
 It was dark when I arrived in New York ; I felt 
 very calm and independent, as a young girl must, 
 who has no one to occupy himself with her. The 
 red capped porters rushed at me when the train 
 stopped, for my costume being cut in the last fashion 
 does not reveal my poverty, but I refused their 
 assistance, and carried my bag and rug alone. I 
 took a cab, and gave the address of Herr Meyer- 
 baum's boarding house, near the docks on the West 
 side. As I drove through the streets, I thought 
 how they symbolized my destiny ; first the brilliancy 
 of the quarter of the rich, with illumined shops 
 offering every luxury to the passerby, then the 
 gloom and poverty of the streets entering the quar- 
 
 35i
 
 352 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ter of the workmen. Would my courage suffice to 
 confront these conditions? But I cheered myself 
 by remembering that the Troupe would welcome me 
 as a friend. 
 
 The cab stopped before a house ; every door step 
 resembled the other exactly, and I wondered if peo- 
 ple living there would not likewise lose their own 
 individuality. 
 
 A great many Jews were lounging about, who 
 stared at me curiously. After a discussion with the 
 cabman, in which I remained firm, I paid him one 
 dollar and a half; that left me fifty cents as only 
 fortune. 
 
 I rang the bell. After a long interval a big fat 
 man came to the door and only opened it a crack : 
 " Vat do you vant ? " he asked with a strong German 
 accent. 
 
 " I want to see Herr Meyerbaum and Frau 
 Matrosi." 
 
 "Frau Hirsch!" he bellowed with all his lungs. 
 " Frau Hirsch ! a yunk lady, vants Herr Meyer- 
 baum." 
 
 " Tell her he is not here," screamed a woman's 
 voice. 
 
 My heart sank. " Please ask if Frau Hirsch 
 knows where he is, and the ladies and gentlemen 
 with him, for they belong to the Frankfurt Lust- 
 spiel Gcsellschaft" I tried to prevent my voice 
 from trembling.
 
 NEW YORK 353 
 
 The question was roared up the stairs; the man 
 held the door half open while I stood outside. 
 
 " Der vas no blace for dem here, I send dem to 
 Frau Goldstein boarding house." Frau Hirsch 
 gave the address. 
 
 " Is it far from here? " I asked. 
 
 " Ach ne'ml " said the fat man. " You take first 
 street links, go five blocks, turn r edits, three houses, 
 you find all right," and he closed the door in my 
 face. 
 
 Several people were staring at me, but remem- 
 bering Evelyn's advice in the poor quarter of Boston, 
 to walk quickly without looking about, I started off 
 to follow the fat man's directions. 
 
 I discovered the number of the street ; it was 
 very difficult to read it on the top of a lamp post; 
 I passed two or three houses; then I stopped and 
 asked a woman for Frau Goldstein's boarding- 
 house ; she pointed to a house close by ; one mounted 
 by steep brown stone steps, half of which were 
 broken and split. 
 
 I rang a bell, but I felt as I pulled it that the wire 
 was dislocated inside ; I waited I knocked at the 
 door ; there was no response ; so I turned the handle 
 and found I could enter. 
 
 There was a staircase straight in front of me, 
 lit by a little oil lamp. On either side of the en- 
 trance were two closed doors. A strong odor of 
 sauerkraut and fried salt fish pervaded the house; 
 23
 
 354 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 a smell I discovered later to be always present. I 
 heard voices and the clatter of plates. I advanced 
 along the narrow corridor and found that the smoke 
 from the frying fish, and the voices arose from be- 
 low. The stairs descended in front of me, so I 
 adventured myself to do down. An open door 
 showed me a room where half a dozen people were 
 eating. I looked in vain for Herr Meyerbaum and 
 the Troupe; the people were strangers of a Jewish 
 type; they stared at me but went on eating. I 
 turned away; opposite me was the kitchen. A 
 woman stood in front of the stove with the greasi- 
 est appearance I have ever seen; she was frying 
 something which exhaled the odor of burning fat. 
 
 " Does Frau Goldstein live here? " I asked. The 
 woman paid no attention to me, but ladled some sort 
 of pancakes into a dish an untidy little servant held 
 out to her. 
 
 I was indignant to be treated so impolitely, and I 
 asked again imperiously : " Is this Frau Goldstein's 
 house?" 
 
 " Vat do you vant ? " said the woman. " I am 
 Frau Goldstein." 
 
 " I wish to see Herr Meyerbaum." 
 
 "Herr Meyerbaum?" she repeated, "I don't 
 know no Herr Meyerbaum." 
 
 " Ach Frau!" said the servant girl in German, 
 " that is the fine gentleman who left the sick lady 
 here and paid for her in advance."
 
 NEW YORK 355 
 
 " Halt dcin Maul," said the woman crossly, and 
 shoved the girl out of the room, with the dish of 
 cakes. " Now vat do you vant mit Herr Meyer- 
 baum? " she said turning to me. " I no like ladies 
 to come ask questions; they wants to know if my 
 lodgers sleep one in a room, or ten in a room; or 
 how long my servants vorks; I mind my business 
 and I vant " 
 
 " Frau Goldstein," I interrupted her in German, 
 "I have come to join Herr Meyerbaum; I belong 
 to his company." 
 
 " Ach so! veil he and his company have gone," 
 she said in English. 
 
 I felt now that I had nowhere to turn to; then 
 I remembered what the servant had said about the 
 sick lady, and I asked who she was. 
 
 " I forgot her name," said Frau Goldstein. 
 " You go see her up three flights back ; I busy 
 now." 
 
 Being thus dismissed, and in absolute uncertainty 
 as to whom I should find, I went up three flights of 
 stairs. Above the first floor the house was unlit, 
 and I had to feel my way. Arrived on the landing, 
 I listened ; for I knew not which room it might be. 
 I heard someone cough and then moan. Seeing a 
 light under a door, I took courage and knocked. 
 
 " Herein! " said a very hoarse voice. 
 
 I entered. In bed, sitting up, with a green cotton 
 handkerchief round her head, and the red satin
 
 356 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 jacket I knew so well, sat Frau Matrosi rubbing 
 her chest. 
 
 " Ach mein Gott!" she exclaimed. "Die Hebe 
 Rosa!" and she opened her arms in an embrace, 
 into which with inexpressible joy and relief I sank. 
 After the first demonstrations of mutual pleasure at 
 meeting, I sat down by the bed, and answered her 
 question as to how I had so unexpectedly arrived ; 
 I told her of the death of my grandmother, and that 
 I had come to sign my engagement with Herr Mey- 
 erbaum, as I intended to work with the Troupe. 
 
 She sighed heavily on hearing this, and told me 
 Herr Meyerbaum and the rest of the company had 
 left yesterday for Trenton, New Jersey; that she 
 had caught a heavy cold ; bronchitis it must be, and 
 was unable to accompany them; she would rejoin 
 them when she was better, " but ach! Himmel! I 
 am not better; I am much worse; I have a terrible 
 cough, and pains everywhere. I have no one who 
 takes care of me ; I shall die in a strange land, and 
 Herr Matrosi and my little boys will not even see 
 my corpse." She began to weep, which made her 
 cough violently. 
 
 " Dear Frau Matrosi," I said, " I will take care 
 of you, and you will soon be well." 
 
 " Do not leave me, dearest Rosa," she said, cling- 
 ing to my hands. " Two days I have been alone ; 
 the maid brought me a little to eat for dinner, but 
 never since, all the afternoon has any one been
 
 NEW YORK 357 
 
 near me. It is a dreadful place; they are Jews, 
 and the first house we went to were Jews; and 
 when we walked about the streets looking for rooms, 
 the big American rain drops wet us to the bone; 
 and everywhere, Jews! Achl I think New York 
 ought to be called New Jerusalem." 
 
 I sympathized with her, and tidied her room, and 
 then said : " I shall go down stairs to get supper 
 for us both." 
 
 With my most imposing manner, I confronted 
 Frau Goldstein. I told her I was a friend of Frau 
 Matrosi, and was going to stay and take care of 
 her. 
 
 I carried some thick looking soup and bread up- 
 stairs. Frau Matrosi was thankful for the slightest 
 thing I did for her. A sort of closet, fortunately 
 with a tiny window in the ceiling, was arranged 
 for me, with a cot bed. My rug served as blanket. 
 After all my anxiety of that evening, and the fear of 
 being abandoned all alone in New York, this seemed 
 like a haven of salvation, and weary with extreme 
 fatigue, I was not long in falling asleep. 
 
 Next morning, Frau Matrosi and I talked over 
 our situation. She told me she had written to Herr 
 Meyerbaum, a few hours before I came, to say she 
 was dying. A letter arrived when I was down- 
 stairs from Herr Ludwig, who not knowing Frau 
 Matrosi was worse, sent her three dollars to pay her 
 way to Trenton, where she was to join the Troupe
 
 358 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 at once. They had engaged an ingenue; " she is 
 about fifty," wrote Herr Ludwig; " she sings three 
 notes and dances two steps ; she flatters Herr Meyer- 
 baum and Alfons. Her hair is blond; the gentle- 
 men like her, but Malvina does not. Come at once, 
 as we have an engagement in another town ; our re- 
 ceipts are very small." 
 
 Frau Matrosi lamented over this letter; she was 
 quite unable to move ; as for me, my chance to work 
 with the Troupe, which I had counted on, had gone. 
 I told Frau Matrosi that I must try and find some 
 kind of work. 
 
 " Ach was!" said Frau Matrosi, "then your 
 grandmother left no property." 
 
 " Oh, yes/' I said, " but I know nothing about 
 it, and being a minor, I shall have to wait nearly 
 three years to inherit." 
 
 "Ach!" said Frau Matrosi, " American laws are 
 no doubt strange, but she might have left you furni- 
 ture or clothes. Did you find nothing? Did you 
 look in her mattress? " 
 
 " No, I did not inquire," I said. 
 
 " Rosa, Rosa, that was not clever of you ; you 
 have probably been robbed. When one's relations 
 die, it is the first question one asks: what does one 
 inherit? You must write to her pastor." 
 
 " I can do nothing at present, dear Frau Matrosi ; 
 I cannot explain to you my circumstances ; I simply 
 must earn my bread, for I only possess fifty cents."
 
 NEW YORK 359 
 
 " Ach was! fifty cents! that is nothing. The 
 pension here costs eight dollars a week ; mine is paid 
 till to-day, that is all ; and here are three dollars ; 
 they will not be enough for us two, for even two 
 days. I who thought to become rich in America, 
 and to return with a lot of money and buy a velvet 
 smoking coat for Herr Matrosi, and give a noble 
 education to my little boys, and have a sofa where 
 my guests could have the place of honor on my 
 right. Ach! instead I perish in a Jew boarding 
 house, with Jew food; I who am a German Chris- 
 tian, with a German Christian appetite." 
 
 " You will get well," I said as cheerfully as pos- 
 sible, " and I shall go out to-day and find work." 
 
 " What can you do ? Can you cook, can you 
 sew, can you wash and iron?" 
 
 " No," I said shaking my head. 
 
 " How were you brought up then ? I see by 
 your delicate white hands you are incapable of 
 work." 
 
 " I was brought up," I said bitterly, " to be per- 
 fectly useless; but I know languages, perhaps I can 
 teach. I have a friend who at my age earned thus 
 her living." 
 
 " You can try," said Frau Matrosi doubtfully, 
 " but forgive me for saying it, your parents brought 
 you up foolishly. I have seen other young girls, 
 because they could not use the ten fingers the good 
 God had given them, go to perdition. Teaching is
 
 360 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 an ungrateful task, for you have to force children 
 to be less stupid than they were intended to be, and 
 they are very rebellious against instruction." 
 
 My future was dark, and I felt no longer as if 
 to earn my living were so easy. 
 
 It was Saturday afternoon ; it was cold and rainy ; 
 I walked on Eighth Avenue, for there are many 
 employment offices there. I entered several. Oh ! 
 they were dreadful places; filled with people stand- 
 ing apparently for hours, waiting for employers, 
 like cattle in a market. My courage gave out. I 
 could not join that horde. I passed some hat shops, 
 and inquired if they needed any one to work. In 
 two shops they brusquely told me no one was 
 wanted; in a third they asked me a few questions 
 as to former experience; I having had none, they 
 dismissed me. How do young girls acquire their 
 first position? 
 
 When I came back, I found Frau Goldstein had 
 demanded advance payment from Frau Matrosi for 
 her board and mine. Thus the three dollars were 
 spent. 
 
 Sunday, I walked about a little to get fresh air, 
 and reflect over my sad fate. I decided to sell my 
 tortoise shell brushes. Thus Monday morning, 
 that is to-day, I started for the richer part of the 
 city, and went to a shop where they sold articles of 
 luxury. I offered my brushes, knowing they were
 
 NEW YORK 361 
 
 one hundred francs apiece, for thirty dollars for 
 the three, just half their value. 
 
 The salesman laughed at me, and showed them to 
 another man ; they both laughed, and said they made 
 no such trades, I had better take them to a pawn- 
 broker. 
 
 Flushed with mortification, holding my head very 
 high, I left the shop. I could have cried from dis- 
 appointment ; for I had promised Frau Matrosi to 
 bring her back plenty of money. 
 
 I returned to my poor quarter, realizing that fine 
 shops sold but would not buy. I passed a pawn- 
 broker, Isaac Levi, by name. I entered and asked 
 what he would pawn my brushes for. He looked 
 them over, then looked at me. 
 
 " One dollar," he said. 
 
 " Oh, no," I cried, " they are worth sixty dol- 
 lars." 
 
 " I haf no use for such dings," he said; " I vould 
 buy your tress, that I could sell, but prushes, I 
 haf no customers for prushes like dese." 
 
 I turned away. 
 
 "Say, I give you tree dollars; I be generous if 
 you pring me oder dings." 
 
 I nodded in acquiescence, and exchanged my 
 brushes for three dollars and a pawn ticket. 
 
 A woman entered the shop with a baby in her 
 arms, a little child following her; she looked so
 
 362 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 weak as if she could not stand. I watched as she 
 offered a ring to be pawned ; her wedding ring, she 
 said, and after much discussion she got twenty- 
 five cents for it. 
 
 She staggered as she left the shop. 
 
 " Here is your pawn ticket," called out Isaac 
 Levi. 
 
 " I will give it to her," I said and ran after her. 
 
 She leant against the wall, coughing as I had 
 never heard any one cough. I feared she would 
 drop the baby, and I offered to take it; she opened 
 her arm and the baby slid into mine; it hardly 
 weighed anything, and seemed half inanimate. 
 
 The older child cried : " I am hungry ! " 
 
 The woman recovered from her coughing attack, 
 and started off again, I following with the baby. 
 She stopped at a shop, and bought bread and a bottle 
 of milk, and some tea. 
 
 Further on she entered a house, and we ascended 
 a dark flight of stairs; we went into a room where 
 I first saw nothing, it was so dark; the only light 
 came from a window over a door. 
 
 " What did you get for it, Jeannie ? " asked a man 
 who I discovered lay in bed. 
 
 " A quarter ; not enough to buy coal. I '11 get 
 hot water next door and make tea." 
 
 " Who is the young lady ? " asked the man. 
 
 I spoke : " I carried the baby for your wife ; 
 shall I give it to you ? "
 
 NEW YORK 363 
 
 " Yes, Miss, give me the poor wee thing." 
 
 I laid the baby beside him. " I am afraid you 
 are ill? " I said, " and your wife has a bad cold." 
 
 " We are all ill," said the woman, " and it 's more 
 than a cold I 've got." 
 
 " Please," I said, " will you let me give you this 
 dollar for some coal ? I wish I could help you more, 
 but I am not rich." 
 
 " Who are you? " said the man. 
 
 " I live not far from here ; I am called Rosa 
 Schmidt, and as soon as I find work, I may be able 
 to help you a little. And what is your name?" 
 
 " Alexander McGreggor. I am ill now going on 
 three months; my wife has lung trouble; this wee 
 baby is sickly from her birth. Ah, yes ! Miss, we 
 are badly off just now, but you are welcome to come 
 back, help or no help." 
 
 I left oppressed by the sight of such misery, and 
 determined to sell one of my pearls if I could not 
 find work, although that would be breaking my 
 resolve to earn my own bread. I bought a news- 
 paper to look up advertisements for teachers or gov- 
 ernesses. I call myself Rosa Schmidt as Frau Ma- 
 trosi believes that to be my name, and I wish not 
 my rich friends to discover me. Would they not 
 force me to live with Cousin Henry and Cousin 
 Carolina, or return to Germany? Rather will I 
 suffer any misery. And thus I have lived my first 
 three days as a working girl, without work!
 
 XXXV 
 
 OCTOBER 1 8th. Two days more I have wan- 
 dered about looking for occupation in shops 
 and employment bureaus ; the declaration I had made 
 to Mr. Dale to earn my life was the only thing that 
 kept up my courage ; I am resolved to prove I am 
 not a child as he thinks, but oh ! it seems impossible 
 for me to find work, and I wonder what is the use 
 of so careful an education if I can put it to no 
 profit. 
 
 When I demand a place of governess, these are 
 the species of questions I am asked : 
 
 " Have you any references? " 
 
 " No, but I speak French, German, Italian ; I play 
 on the piano." 
 
 " Let us see your school and college certificates." 
 
 " I have none, I was brought up at home." 
 
 " At least you must have credentials as to your 
 moral character." 
 
 And when I again say I have nothing to prove 
 my respectability, then I am dismissed. Oh, what 
 a difficult problem I have to solve. I knew not 
 how little experience I had of life. Just to be in 
 America, I thought, would make everything easy, 
 but I discover that even in my dear country, one 
 
 364
 
 NEW YORK 365 
 
 cannot freely labor, without severe certificates, and 
 I am astonished in New York to find that all the 
 inferior classes are composed of foreigners. If I 
 called myself an American, I should then be the 
 only one of my nation, for the people I encounter 
 in offices come from every part of the world. Ev- 
 erything seems to me very strange and perplexing! 
 
 At last I have succumbed and sold a pearl, and 
 thus acknowledged to myself my own incapacity. I 
 feel deeply humiliated! 
 
 I came home yesterday cold and tired, and hungry, 
 for I had only ten cents left and I gave them to an 
 organ grinder, whom I had watched a long time 
 and who had received nothing. He was laboring, 
 I was idle, so he deserved it. 
 
 I found Frau Goldstein making a terrible scene 
 to Frau Matrosi. The latter was sobbing, and cry- 
 ing she had no money to pay the rent, and Frau 
 Goldstein was screaming, we were a pair of beggars 
 she would turn out in the street. 
 
 \\'e owed two days' board and rent, so her words 
 were true, but they made me angry. 
 
 " Leave this room, Frau Goldstein," I said very 
 quietly but with my grand air, " in an hour you 
 shall be paid and we shall go." 
 
 My accent was so determined that she believed 
 me and went away grumbling, slamming the door 
 behind her.
 
 366 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 "Do not weep," I said to Theodora; "in a lit- 
 tle while we shall be out of our misery; pack up 
 the things." 
 
 I went into my little room and detached a pearl 
 from my necklace ; I know not what they are worth, 
 perhaps a thousand dollars each, for they are large 
 and perfect. My heart ached to part with one, 
 for I remembered so well how lovingly my dear 
 grandmother had clasped them round my neck. 
 
 The pawnbroker, Isaac Levi, had his shop near 
 by. Quickly I walked there. After a long exam- 
 ination of the pearl through a lense, and much bar- 
 gaining, he gave me a hundred dollars and said if 
 I had others he would buy them of me. I saw my 
 brushes had been untouched and I redeemed them. 
 In my purse I found also Mrs. McGreggor's pawn 
 ticket, so I got back her ring. 
 
 I felt very rich with my ninety-six dollars and a 
 half. I returned to the boarding house. On the 
 steps stood a tall thin man pulling at the broken bell. 
 We stared at each other a second, and simul- 
 taneously we exclaimed, " Herr Schimmel ! " 
 "Roschen!" 
 
 I was overjoyed to see his dear kind face ; he took 
 my two hands in his: " Ach! Roschen! you have 
 changed; you look unwell and pale," he said. 
 
 " I have grown a little thin," I said, " but I am 
 very strong." 
 
 I asked him to wait while I paid Frau Goldstein.
 
 NEW YORK 367 
 
 That being done, I took him with me to look for 
 lodgings. He drew my arm through his, and we 
 walked off together. 
 
 I told him all that happened to me since I had re- 
 turned to New York; but my two days with Mr. 
 Dale, I spoke not of. He shook his head many 
 times in disapproval: "This is not the right life 
 for you, Roschen." 
 
 Near Washington Square, we came to a house 
 where furnished rooms were advertised. It looked 
 clean and nice. We entered. A quiet, elderly 
 woman showed us a little apartment composed of 
 a tiny kitchen, a parlor, and two small bedrooms. 
 It was clean and simply furnished; the price fifty 
 dollars a month. We had to do our own cooking; 
 this I knew Frau Matrosi would like, for then she 
 could prepare her Christian German repasts. 
 
 I paid the fifty dollars, and said I would move in 
 with my friend, an old lady, that same afternoon. 
 Herr Schimmel engaged a little attic room for the 
 night. He told me he had to join the Troupe in 
 Pennsylvania the next day. Frau Matrosi's letter 
 had been forwarded from one place to the other, 
 and only reached them last night; he had come to 
 see how she was, but never expected to find 
 me. 
 
 " Are you supporting Frau Matrosi ? " he asked. 
 
 " We are taking care of each other; I don't know 
 what would have become of me without her."
 
 368 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 He asked no further questions about my resources, 
 as he saw I had enough money. 
 
 I made little provisions in the neighborhood of 
 coal and wood, and groceries, and I bought a few 
 things for our supper; I wanted the first night of 
 our installation to have a feast. I insisted on mak- 
 ing Herr Schimmel go into a restaurant with me, 
 and eat a lunch, as we neither of us had had any- 
 thing all day. 
 
 We returned to our little flat with our provisions ; 
 I had bought a few flowers for the table. 
 
 I engaged a carriage to take Frau Matrosi to our 
 new home. 
 
 On entering Frau Goldstein's house, I was re- 
 joiced to think I should never go into that odious 
 place again. 
 
 Frau Matrosi uttered loud exclamations of joy 
 on seeing Herr Schimmel ; and they kissed each 
 other on both cheeks. She was ready to start. I 
 tossed my things into my bag, and took my rug on 
 my arm; these are my sole possessions. We de- 
 scended the stairs; Herr Schimmel carried Frau 
 Matrosi 's small box. 
 
 I gave the servant girl two dollars, as she had 
 rendered us a few services. 
 
 We all drove together to our new lodgings. Frau 
 Matrosi was enchanted with the rooms, and she im- 
 mediately began cooking our supper. We had a 
 merry little repast.
 
 NEW YORK 369 
 
 I fear from what Herr Schimmel said, the Troupe 
 is not making good affairs. Frau Matrosi will be 
 unable to work for some time more. She asked 
 me no question as to what I had sold, the source 
 of all our new prosperity. But now we must econ- 
 omize. I find I have spent to-day seventy dollars. 
 I have no idea how much it costs to eat. All my 
 toilet must be refreshed and I want to buy my- 
 self a black costume, although I know I wear deep 
 mourning in my heart. I am determined to find 
 work, if only out of what I gain to pay Mr. Dale, as 
 I promised, the money I owe him and Anna Engel. 
 
 24
 
 XXXVI 
 
 OCTOBER 20. Herr Schimmel stayed with us 
 only one night. His train departed in the 
 afternoon, but in the morning we took a walk to- 
 gether, down by the Battery near the water. 
 
 He has a heart like a child and enjoys the simplest 
 little pleasures; a cloud, a leaf, a baby's curls, fill 
 him with delight. He says that anything that 's 
 pleasing to the eye is a gift to the soul, the only 
 possessions that make a man rich. 
 
 I should like to cultivate that thought, for it will 
 surely be my only mode of accumulating wealth. 
 
 Yet he has had a very sad life. We sat on a 
 bench and he told me much about himself; of the 
 great ambitions of his youth. 
 
 " I was brought up as a shoemaker, and while 
 working at the leather, my mind was filled with 
 music; the rhythm of a machine seemed an air, with 
 the time well marked. The pulling of the thread 
 in regular movement, I compared to long drawn 
 scales. I dreamed to be a new Hans Sachs, and 
 now I am terminating my life as a third class come- 
 dian. I am a failure ! " 
 
 " Oh, no, dear Herr Schimmel," I exclaimed, 
 370
 
 NEW YORK 371 
 
 " say not that. Others are stupid not to recognize 
 your talent. You play beautifully on the flute. 
 And then you are noble in adversity, and you open 
 your heart to people's troubles; you were my bene- 
 factor on the ship; you gave me generously of all 
 your kindness, and I am sure some day you will 
 have a success before the public." 
 
 " Ach, Roschen, you make me very happy, but 
 I fear kindness of heart is no help to success. In 
 America I shall not be recognized. The nation here 
 is not musical; they have too many noises in their 
 ears ; all the time bells, whistles, horns and their own 
 strident voices. They want music for dancing, and 
 while they eat, and at the theatre, to indicate to 
 them if a play is a drama or a comedy. Without 
 a cake walk tune or an adagio patetico, they know 
 not whether to cry or laugh; they have no artistic 
 sense. Why, Roschen, in Philadelphia the other 
 night, I was given a ticket to the theatre; the actor 
 was an artist; he was representing a young bride- 
 groom drunk on his wedding night, not very drunk, 
 but just enough to gradually inspire horror to his 
 bride; it was pitiful, it was tragic, and will you be- 
 lieve it, those idiots of the audience laughed, as 
 they do in the street when a tipsy man embraces 
 a lamp-post. Ach, mcin Gott! I could have stran- 
 gled them." 
 
 He was excited and gesticulating; I proposed 
 walking home.
 
 372 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 He and I agreed Frau Matrosi would not be able 
 to act for a long time. " And besides, my little 
 Rosa," he said, " until you return to your friends, 
 you must have some one to live with." 
 
 I had told him my grandmother had died and that 
 in less than three years I should be major. 
 
 He shook his head, saying, " You are a little 
 runaway princess, and I cannot see why you live 
 like this." 
 
 I did not explain my reasons for I thought he 
 would not understand them, probably nobody would, 
 and I must fight alone for my own independence. 
 
 After he went I felt lonely, for he was a good 
 companion; poor old man, it is sad to live fifty 
 years, with no remembrance of success! 
 
 Frau Matrosi bores me terribly with her incessant 
 talk about her ugly little husband, she wears his 
 picture in a medallion and he looks like a monkey 
 but still she is jealous of him and fears he will fall 
 a prey to women who make love to him in her 
 absence. Her only thought is to join the Troupe 
 and become rich and go back to him, but she is 
 crippled with rheumatism and she has often attacks 
 of the heart ; so she frets a great deal, and when my 
 patience is at an end, I walk indefinitely in the quiet 
 streets about Washington Square. 
 
 I have made friends with a poor girl who lives 
 in an attic at the top of our house; she is called 
 Mary Snow, and works in a feather factory; she
 
 NEW YORK 373 
 
 spends most of her evenings with us; for I found 
 her room was cold and lit only by a little oil lamp. 
 She has rendered me a great service by finding me 
 work. I sew aprons at twenty-five cents a dozen. 
 I give German lessons to a boy who also lives in our 
 house, in exchange of the use of his mother's sew- 
 ing machine. 
 
 Mary Snow said she used to make four dozen 
 aprons a day ; but I am very slow ; I only succeeded 
 in making four aprons the first day, but now I man- 
 age to do a dozen, and I calculate it will take me 
 forty days before I can send the ten dollars to Mr. 
 Dale. But I am much happier since I am occupied. 
 
 Mary Snow and Frau Matrosi talk by signs and 
 they get on very well together.
 
 XXXVII 
 
 NOVEMBER 20th. A month has passed; 
 here is what I have achieved. 
 
 By learning to work faster and faster, and hardly 
 ever going out, I succeeded in doing two dozen 
 aprons a day, earning thus fifty cents. Last week 
 I had ten dollars; this I sent to Mr. Dale, in an 
 envelope on which I wrote, " from my earnings." 
 I enclosed it in a short note to Anna Engel with 
 seven dollars from my pearl money. I said noth- 
 ing of my circumstances, and of course I gave no 
 address. 
 
 So my debts are paid ! What I owed him since 
 the first day we met going to Newport, is canceled. 
 Nothing attaches me to him, not even a debt. Ev- 
 erything is finished between us! The thought 
 while I worked on those endless aprons, that the 
 result of every stitch was to go to him, a proof 
 I had kept my vow to work and could pay, made 
 me so diligent, but now I feel I have no incentive. 
 Fifty cents a day would not even nourish Theodora 
 and me. I had to pawn another pearl. My pride 
 is gone; those words of triumph to him, " from my 
 
 374
 
 NEW YORK 375 
 
 earnings," were really false. To myself I own my 
 defeat ; I cannot gain my life. Naturally I support 
 Frau Matrosi. 
 
 When I returned Mrs. McGreggor's wedding 
 ring, I found the family in still greater misery than 
 before, so I also assist them, and every Sunday I 
 go to see them. 
 
 I lie awake at night asking myself : " Ought I 
 not to sell my pearls and give all the poor people I 
 see happiness. Ought I not to send Frau Matrosi 
 back to Germany?" Also Mary Snow who only 
 earns five dollars a week, has no winter clothes and 
 the weather is growing cold. At least she has her 
 supper with us now. 
 
 Herr Schimmel worries me, too, for he says the 
 Troupe is not making good affairs and he is ex- 
 perimenting on a nut diet. " You would laugh," 
 he writes, " to see how thin I have grown." Oh, 
 no, dear man, I weep to think you may be starving. 
 
 I wish there were someone I could consult. My 
 own judgment is so little sure. I told Frau Matrosi 
 how unhappy I was about the McGreggors and she 
 said, " Don't worry about other people, Rosa ; the 
 poor are like grains of sand you cannot count 
 their number." 
 
 One thing I have done. I remembered how the 
 Settlement ladies in Boston sent a nurse to the 
 sick and Mary Snow showed me a Deaconess 
 Home, where I applied for someone to take care of
 
 376 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 the McGreggors. A nurse, a nice Miss Brown, goes 
 there every day. 
 
 I must find a doctor for Theodora Matrosi; she 
 looks to me quite ill and her heart attacks become 
 more frequent. 
 
 I have many cares and anxieties; it would be 
 sweet to avow to someone wise and kind that I 
 felt after all too young to take care of myself and 
 of so many other people; I want someone to help 
 me solve all my difficult problems. I feel sad, and 
 restless and depressed. My only consolation is to 
 think that now he will no longer call me a child, 
 but respect me, as he said he admired most the 
 women who work. I must persevere a little longer. 
 
 Last time I visited the McGreggors I encountered 
 there the Deaconess nurse, Miss Brown. I ac- 
 companied her to the top of the stairs; she said tb 
 me : " Miss Schmidt, unless Mrs. McGreggor goes 
 away from New York, she will die; she has tuber- 
 culosis." 
 
 As I went back to talk to them, it suddenly oc- 
 curred to me that if they could all go to Mr. Dale's 
 Home at Rilldale, Mrs. McGreggor would get well. 
 
 I told them about the Home; the most beautiful 
 place in the world, where a kind gentleman took 
 care of people and made them well. They both 
 said they would like to go with their children, and 
 I am writing to Miss Brown to propose their being 
 sent there.
 
 NEW YORK 377 
 
 " Dear Miss Brown, What you said about the 
 necessity of Mrs. McGreggor going away from New 
 York, has suggested to me the thought of how 
 happy they could be in a marvelous Home in 
 the Berkshires, founded by Mr. Herbert Dale, for 
 consumptives, where a friend of mine, a young 
 German girl, has just been cured. Mr. Dale in- 
 habits there, and takes the kindest interest to the 
 poor people. If you write to him, I am sure he 
 will send for the whole family when he learns their 
 deplorable condition. It is a little hard for me to 
 assist them much longer, for I support also an old 
 friend, and I am trying to gain my own life. His 
 address is Rilldale, Stockbridge. 
 
 " I pray you to think me, dear Miss Brown, 
 " Your very sincere 
 
 " ROSA SCHMIDT." 
 
 Oh ! how I should like to accompany them, and 
 leave the dark, noisy city! I feel not very well, 
 and I suffer continually from an infinite fatigue.
 
 XXXVIII 
 
 NOVEMBER 25th. Sunday again! I am 
 so tired, so tired that it fatigues me to rest. 
 
 Frau Matrosi has had several attacks of the heart 
 this week, but she won't see an American doctor. I 
 have sat up with her these last two nights. I think 
 I have caught cold. The weather is very damp. 
 My head is throbbing. I am dizzy. My courage 
 is fainting away. I shall sell all my pearls. I shall 
 go to the country where it is quiet. The elevated 
 trains are running through my brain. Snow is 
 falling. At Rilldale it is pure and white, here the 
 passersby crush it into slime and mud. 
 
 Theodora is crying for her husband and her little 
 boys. I have nobody to cry for. I must send her 
 home, and then I must live all alone. That idea 
 frightens me. Mary Snow lives alone in an attic. 
 But she is courageous and I am a coward. 
 
 To-day, like never before, I long for my dear 
 grandmother. I should like to sit at her feet, and 
 rest my head against her knee, and have her 
 counsel me what to do ; I feel not wise, and oh ! so 
 tired ! 
 
 378
 
 NEW YORK 379 
 
 I must shake myself and go to see the McGreg- 
 gors; they are expecting me this afternoon; per- 
 haps they have already received an invitation from 
 Mr. Dale; I should like to see what he writes. 
 
 I have kept his letter to me, and often I read it 
 over. 
 
 I have a strange feeling, ever since early this 
 morning, as if someone were calling me, I know 
 not where, I know not who. 
 
 Yes, I must go to the McGreggors 
 
 I tried to put on my hat, but everything turned 
 black before my eyes, and I had such a terrible 
 chill that I went and crouched by the stove in the 
 kitchen where Fran Matrosi was dozing. 
 
 Now I have returned to my own room with my 
 head on fire, and there are pulses beating all over me, 
 and my bones ache. 
 
 I am ashamed of myself; I must make an effort 
 and go and see my poor friends. 
 
 Out of the window I observe a mist makes the 
 air thick; all the smoke of the city seems to be 
 melting into black drops. I think it is already grow- 
 ing sombre, and it frightens me to go into that 
 worse quarter of the town after dark. 
 
 My hand is trembling; my head is throbbing; I 
 feel ill ; yes, I know I have fever ; I am ill, and there 
 is no one to take care of me. 
 
 I want my dear grandmother ; I should like to be 
 a little child ; I want to cry. But no, it is I who
 
 380 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 must console all those other people who are crying; 
 the other little children! 
 
 I hear Mary Snow ; she has entered the kitchen ; 
 she calls me " Rosie." Is that my name? Yes, 
 Rosie Schmidt, or Rosa, Roschen, Dornroschen. 
 Prince Ulrich wants to marry Yvonne Carrington. 
 Mary does n't know Yvonne. Nobody wants to 
 love poor Rosie Schmidt. I will go and tell Mary 
 about Yvonne dancing at the Emperor's ball. She 
 will laugh! 
 
 I must go and see the McGreggors. Again I 
 hear a voice! Somebody is calling me! . . .
 
 XXXIX 
 
 DECEMBER i4th, I5th, i6th. Fifth Avenue 
 With a pencil I can write from time to 
 time. The last page of my Memoirs is blotted with 
 tears, but now all my destiny is changed. I have 
 been long unconscious, and can only relate what I 
 have been told. 
 
 I went to the door of the kitchen; I said one or 
 two incoherent words, and then I fainted. Mary 
 Snow lifted me onto my bed. Frau Matrosi was 
 so startled at seeing me ill that she had a heart at- 
 tack. 
 
 Mary called the landlady to her aid, and then 
 she ran to fetch Miss Brown. 
 
 Vaguely I realized that somebody was taking care 
 of me; that the voice that had been calling me all 
 day, was speaking softly to me, and that I could 
 not answer. 
 
 After that I had terrible dreams of being dragged 
 over rocks and through cold streams; of falling 
 down precipices, and of heavy stones dropping upon 
 me and crushing my breast so that I could not 
 breathe. 
 
 Then gradually I awoke as from a long, long 
 381
 
 382 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 sleep. The evil dreams had gone. I lay quite still 
 for days, with closed eyes, vaguely conscious of 
 being cared for. Sometimes I heard people whisper 
 softly, and I often had the sensation of someone 
 standing at the foot of the bed watching me. The 
 first word I understood was my own name 
 " Yvonne " spoken gently with the voice that had 
 been calling me. I was too weak to open my 
 eyes; I only smiled, and a tear ran down my 
 cheek. 
 
 Someone said, " Doctor, I think she is conscious." 
 
 " Not yet," was the answer, and everything was 
 quiet again. No sound, no noise, a distant muffled 
 rumbling. As my thoughts grew clearer I won- 
 dered how it could be so still, for in my. little room, 
 the windows had been shaken continually by the 
 elevated trains. 
 
 Thus time passed without my knowledge of hours, 
 or of days, or of nights. When I first opened my 
 eyes I saw a nurse bending over me, and later I saw 
 another one. I suffered no pain, only I felt an in- 
 finite fatigue. 
 
 Soon I began to wonder where I was. I 
 lay in a big, comfortable bed. I saw several win- 
 dows hung with blue curtains. The floor was of 
 polished wood, with soft colored rugs; the arm- 
 chairs covered in light silk. A fire burned always 
 in the room. 
 
 The nurse was feeding me ; I observed the spoon
 
 NEW YORK 383 
 
 was of silver and the cup of delicate china. The 
 nurse smiled and said : " You are feeling better 
 to-day, Miss Carrington." 
 
 I shut my eyes, I could not answer, or ask ques- 
 tions, I was too weak; I simply knew I was no 
 longer Rosa Schmidt. 
 
 This brought me my first sensation of pleasure, 
 and I lay still and was happy. 
 
 A thought began with persistence to worry me. 
 The first question I asked was, " Who takes care 
 of Frau Matrosi?" 
 
 The nurse answered : " Mr. Dale has seen to 
 everything." 
 
 " I want to see Mr. Dale," I said as a thing all 
 natural. 
 
 " I '11 ask the Doctor if you may." 
 
 " Yes, please, at once." I felt my will was re- 
 turning with my strength; I was told the next day 
 I might see him, and he came 
 
 Very softly he walked across the floor, and stood 
 by my bed. He took my hand in his and held it. 
 
 I was anxious to see if he were angry with me, 
 but no, his eyes were kind, and he seemed emo- 
 tioned. I smiled at him, and he sat down beside 
 the bed. 
 
 " Please tell me," I said and my voice was so 
 low he had to bend nearer to hear me, " who takes 
 care of Frau Matrosi?" 
 
 " A doctor and a nurse have been caring for her ;
 
 384 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 she is much better. Herr Schimmel has returned 
 and lives in the same house." 
 
 " Have you seen him ? " 
 
 ' Yes, he has been here every day to inquire for 
 you. I like him." 
 
 " I am so glad, I want to see him." 
 
 " Very soon you may." 
 
 I sighed, and he said, " Poor little girl ! " so 
 tenderly that it sounded to me like a caress. 
 
 "Have the McGreggors gone to Rilldale?" I 
 asked. 
 
 " Yes," he said, " they went some time ago ; it 
 was through them, thank God, that I discovered 
 you." 
 
 " Tell me about it," I said. 
 
 " Not to-day, you must not talk any more." 
 
 "I have been ill?" 
 
 " Yes, very ill." I think his voice trembled ; I 
 closed my eyes, with the joy of knowing that when 
 I opened them, I should see him. 
 
 "Where does Mary Snow get her supper?" I 
 asked again. 
 
 " She has moved into your little room, to be 
 near Frau Matrosi ; she is a nice, good girl." 
 
 " I am so glad you like my friends," I murmured. 
 
 I wanted to know no more, my mind was at 
 rest. I was happy with such a sweet emotion that 
 I felt tears run down my cheeks. 
 
 " Are you crying, dearest ? " he said with alarm.
 
 NEW YORK 385 
 
 " I am so happy," I whispered, " that I thought 
 I would die gladly now, so as never to know any- 
 thing different from this." 
 
 " Oh ! Yvonne, don't say that, I want you to 
 live, my darling, I want you to be happy; I don't 
 dare tell you now all the things I want." 
 
 He wiped gently the tears from my face, and 
 in perfect contentment, with the knowledge he was 
 near me and not displeased with me, I fell asleep. 
 
 I am living in Uncle John King's house, on Fifth 
 Avenue; how I came here I know not yet. I can- 
 not talk much, my voice is very weak, even my 
 thoughts are rather vague, and seem to blow away 
 easily like thistle-down. 
 
 For several days I have seen only Herbert Dale, 
 and truly no one else do I want to see. 
 
 He found me writing just now, and \vas afraid 
 I was fatiguing myself. He says he will inscribe 
 himself in my little book the long recital of how 
 he discovered me ; and he has moved the table where 
 I can watch him write. 
 
 " Dear Yvonne, you ask me to give this account 
 of my search for you; here it is: Much against 
 my own inclinations, as you know, I went to New 
 York; I saw your Cousin Henry Short, and we 
 returned to Stockbridge together on Sunday. I 
 had meantime seen your uncle, Mr. King, and 
 asked if he would take care of you, in case you 
 25
 
 386 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 were anxious to go to his house. He readily 
 agreed to receive you, and I had a long argument 
 with Henry Short, in which I at last prevailed; 
 you should have the choice of going to either Mr. 
 King's house or your Cousin Carolina's. I hoped 
 this chance for you to go to more congenial sur- 
 roundings would make you forgive my seeming 
 harshness. You may imagine my dismay, when ar- 
 riving at my house I was greeted by Anna Engel with 
 the news that you had left Rilldale Friday, a few 
 hours after I had gone. 
 
 She had been very much agitated, not knowing 
 what to do. She sent a telegram Saturday to my 
 office, which I had not received. I read the letter 
 you had left for me, your pathetic letter, reveal- 
 ing such complete self-reliance, and such total ig- 
 norance of the dangers you were confronting; 
 showing also your great distress of mind, and prov- 
 ing to me what a blundering fool I had been. I 
 was obliged to show it to Henry Short, who was 
 indignantly surprised at your saying, you would 
 rather die than live with him and his sister; he had 
 been convinced until then that you would gladly go 
 to his house, to await your mother's orders. But 
 my pity and his indignation were changed to alarm. 
 Where had you vanished to? I remembered your 
 telling me about Herr Meyerbaum; it was perhaps 
 your idea to earn your living on the stage, as a mem- 
 ber of his company. Henry Short would not tol-
 
 NEW YORK 387 
 
 erate such a supposition, and our fears were in- 
 creased when Anna Engel told us, you had borrowed 
 seven dollars from her, which she believed was all 
 the money you had. 
 
 To fancy you alone, penniless in New York was 
 intolerable ! 
 
 At once, Henry Short and I returned to the city ; 
 he to inquire at the houses of the people he thought 
 you might go to; I, to engage a private detective 
 and put him on the trace of the Meyerbaum troupe. 
 
 I can only say the next six weeks were a horrible 
 nightmare. One clue after another was taken up, 
 to be dropped again as the wrong one. Meyer- 
 baum was discovered in Pennsylvania. I went 
 myself to see him; I only learnt from him that a 
 young girl " Dornroschcn " he called her, had 
 joined them on their voyage to America. Of 
 course that was you, but he knew as little as I 
 did where you were. Herr Schimmel was in New 
 York at the time. I went to Frau Hirsch's 
 boarding house ; the landlady a very sullen 
 woman, said she had never seen any one resem- 
 bling the description I gave of you. 
 
 Factories, shops, theatres, every kind of place 
 was investigated, every sort of veiled advertise- 
 ment was put in the newspapers; for we did not 
 wish the public to be told of your disappear- 
 ance. Letters and cables were exchanged between 
 your mother and Henry Short. He was beside
 
 388 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 himself with anxiety, and was laid low by re- 
 peated bilious attacks. He sailed for Europe after 
 a month's vain search to confer with your mother. 
 He was convinced that you had either been kid- 
 napped or died under an assumed name. 
 
 I confess every kind of hideous thought passed 
 through my brain. The idea that you, a beautiful, 
 delicate girl, with no knowledge of life, thrown en- 
 tirely on your resources, was an hourly torture. 
 Bitterly I blamed myself for being responsible for 
 your flight. You had come to me asking for help 
 and protection, and I, fool that I was, had re- 
 buked you, and had cruelly told you that I should 
 return you to hated surroundings. 
 
 Anna Engel gave me the card accompanying the 
 seventeen dollars you sent. By this, I knew you 
 were alive and had money, but I was just as anxious 
 as ever to know where you were. 
 
 I went home to Stockbridge. As I entered my 
 library, your image seemed to fill the room. The 
 piteous words, " I am all alone in the world now " 
 rang through my ears. Your sweet, sad eyes, 
 your expression of reproach, the sound of your 
 little feet pacing the floor, every impression you 
 had left behind challenged me as a rebuke, and 
 mingled with my remorse came the knowledge that 
 not alone my frantic anxiety as to your fate, but an 
 ever increasing desire to see you again, to beg of you 
 the greatest gift, was adding despair to my suspense.
 
 NEW YORK 389 
 
 I went to my writing table and idly I sorted 
 my mail. Among my letters I opened one from the 
 Deaconess Home a request to help a destitute 
 family. I was throwing it aside, when I said to 
 myself if Yvonne were here she would tell me, 
 I know, to help these unfortunates; I remembered 
 your interest and sympathy towards all suffer- 
 ing, and surmounting my indifference, I read 
 Miss Brown's letter; she spoke of a young friend 
 a Miss Schmidt who had supported this 
 family of McGreggors, and proposed sending them 
 to the Sanitorium at Rilldale. Miss Brown en- 
 closed Miss Schmidt's letter. Mechanically I 
 opened the enclosure; the signature was unfamiliar, 
 but the handwriting startled me. I compared it 
 with the note I carried always with me. It was 
 the same, and the unique style was unmistakably 
 yours ! I pressed the letter to my lips, in unspeaka- 
 ble joy. At last I had a clew! 
 
 In a fever of impatience I chartered a special 
 engine, for it was late Saturday night. On my 
 way to the station, I stopped at the Home and 
 saw Anna Engel ; she shared my hopefulness and 
 assured me she had always been certain her prayers 
 would be granted. 
 
 The engine was ready, I stood in the cab, and 
 insisted on helping the stoker. Every delay was 
 intolerable, every rapid stretch of speed seemed 
 a moment gained over the interminable suspense.
 
 390 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 At six A. M. I arrived in New York. At seven 
 I was at the door of the Deaconess House. 
 
 I asked for Miss Brown and gave my card. 
 After a while a trim little nurse appeared, evi- 
 dently surprised at my early visit. 
 
 Suppressing as best I could every sign of ex- 
 citement, I said the McGreggor family filled me 
 with the greatest interest, and I should like to see 
 Miss Rosa Schmidt concerning them. 
 
 Imagine my feelings when Miss Brown told me 
 she did not know where Miss Schmidt lived; she 
 had only met her a few times at the McGreggors, 
 that they however might know. " She is a for- 
 eigner I think," said Miss Brown, " she speaks with 
 an accent; the McGreggors simply worship the 
 ground she treads on. She saved them from star- 
 vation; she has supported the family for over a 
 month, and yet I believe she herself works, and she 
 looks to me far from strong." 
 
 In as casual a manner as possible, I asked more 
 questions concerning you. Miss Brown said : 
 " Miss Schmidt has spoken of you and your Home 
 with the greatest enthusiasm; the fact is, Sir, she 
 looks to me more as if she belonged to Fifth Ave- 
 nue than to the West Side; she is a real lady, and 
 no mistake." 
 
 My next step was to visit the McGreggors, al- 
 though I knew the hour to be unsuitably early. 
 I announced as I entered their room, I came as
 
 NEW YORK 391 
 
 a friend of Miss Schmidt, and the man imme- 
 diately held out his hand to me : 
 
 " Any friend of Miss Schmidt is welcome here. 
 If it had n't been for her we 'd been dead long 
 ago. It is not for the money she gives, although 
 I believe she can ill spare it, but it 's just her 
 bonny way of giving it that has helped us bear 
 our troubles ; did n't she say to me when I was 
 thanking her last time she comes, * It is perfectly 
 natural that I should help you, Mr. McGreggor, 
 you would do the same by me, if conditions were 
 reversed.' And she looked at me with that pretty 
 smile of hers, as if it was she who was under 
 obligations, not me. Ah! yes, sir, take my word 
 for it, there 's no young lady like her, in the Brit- 
 ish Isles nor in the States." 
 
 Every word spoken told me it was you. With 
 diplomatic precautions I first inquired into their 
 needs ; I promised to send them at once to the coun- 
 try, and I wanted to see Miss Schmidt, but I had un- 
 fortunately lost her address. 
 
 Again my eagerness to see you at once, was 
 checked by their saying you had never told them 
 where you lived, but you were coming to see them 
 that Sunday afternoon ; I might return and meet 
 you, towards three o'clock. 
 
 During the hours that intervened I walked the 
 whole neighborhood, wondering where you lived, 
 what your circumstances were.
 
 392 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 The afternoon was cold and raw ; rain began 
 to fall ; I hoped you were sufficiently clad. I paced 
 up and down before the McGreggor's house. It 
 was long after three. I went to their room, and 
 talked with them for a while. My impatience was 
 visible. 
 
 " There 's no doubt you want to see her," the 
 woman said. " She may be ill, she looks delicate ; 
 she ought to go with us to your estate; she speaks 
 of it as the most wonderful place in the world." 
 
 " She always comes before this," said the man. 
 
 I never in my life longed for any one as I did 
 for you that day; if my soul had had a voice, you 
 would surely have heard it calling you. 
 
 At six o'clock the McGreggors said it was no use 
 waiting any longer. In despair I went back to the 
 Deaconess House to consult Miss Brown. I was 
 determined to find you, if the whole detective force 
 were turned out to hunt for a Miss Rosa Schmidt. 
 
 Miss Brown was at supper. I waited in the 
 hall. I had been there a few minutes, when an 
 excited, disheveled girl rushed in, saying she 
 wanted the nurse, Miss Brown, to come home with 
 her at once. Miss Brown appeared. 
 
 " Oh ! that 's you, Miss Brown," the girl said 
 panting, " I 'm Mary Snow that lives with Rosie 
 Schmidt; she's took awful sick, and Frau Matrosi 
 also. Come along quick."
 
 NEW YORK 393 
 
 I caught the girl by the arm : " Is Rosa Schmidt 
 the McGreggors' friend ? " 
 
 ' Yes," she said looking at me suspiciously, " but 
 I guess that ain't no business of yours." 
 
 I said that it was my business and admitting 
 of no contradiction, I accompanied Miss Brown 
 and Mary Snow. At last we reached the house; 
 I followed the women upstairs. In the first room 
 we entered, an old woman lay in bed. 
 
 " Go quick, see Roschen, she sick, Ach, mein 
 Gott! very sick!" 
 
 With my heart beating wildly, I went in to the 
 little room where you lay. Your face was deadly 
 pale, your eyes half closed, unconscious of us all. 
 The nurse bent over you, and examined you, Mary 
 Snow standing guard at the foot of the bed by my 
 side. 
 
 Miss Brown turned to me and said, " Mr. Dale, 
 she has pneumonia, she is very ill; she can't be 
 taken care of here, we must send for an ambulance, 
 and telephone to admit her to a hospital." 
 
 " Miss Brown," I said, " this young girl you call 
 Rosa Schmidt, is a friend of mine. Her name is 
 Yvonne Carrington." 
 
 From my pocket I drew the old newspaper cut- 
 ting with your name and picture, which I carried 
 always with me, to serve as identification. Miss 
 Brown and Mary Snow looked at it; the latter ex-
 
 394 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 claimed : " It 's Rosie all right ! but my she looks 
 like a swell! I smelled a rat right along that she 
 weren't at work in her own diggings ! " 
 
 Your diary lay open on the table; the words 
 Rosie Schmidt and Yvonne Carrington caught my 
 eye; further back my own name was mentioned. 
 I showed it to Miss Brown ; she was convinced. 
 
 I ran to the nearest drug store; telephoned for 
 an ambulance; got Mr. King on the line, and told 
 him to prepare a room for you at once, and to 
 have a doctor and nurse ready to receive you. 
 
 When I returned to the flat, Frau Matrosi was 
 having some sort of attack, and the two women 
 were busy with her. 
 
 I went and stood again at the foot of your bed. 
 You were unconscious, your breath came in gasps. 
 Your golden hair fell all over the pillow; round 
 your neck I caught a glimpse of your grandmother's 
 beautiful pearls. I looked about the tiny room, 
 with its miserable furniture : in strange contrast 
 on the table lay tortoise shell brushes with gold 
 initials ; next to them the diary ; thinking you would 
 not care to have it fall in the hands of strangers, 
 I took it; a little key was attached; as I was lock- 
 ing it two faded flowers dropped from between the 
 leaves. I recognized the pansy and forget-me-not 
 I had sent you on board ship. With emotion I 
 replaced them: they revealed to me what I had 
 hardly dared to hope.
 
 NEW YORK 395 
 
 I longed to bend over you, and speak to you, 
 and obtain your forgiveness; your thin hands 
 showed me you had suffered privations; my heart 
 was wrung with pity to find you in such surround- 
 ings. 
 
 The ambulance men arrived. They said the 
 stairs were too narrow for a stretcher. 
 
 I said I would carry you down. Miss Brown 
 wrapped you up in blankets. I took you in my 
 arms; you opened your eyes for one instant, and 
 I thought you looked at me and smiled; I held you 
 still closer to me. 
 
 We drove off. Arrived at your uncle's house, 
 I again took you in my arms and carried you up- 
 stairs. 
 
 Mr. King and Mischief and the servants stood 
 silent in the hall as I went by with my precious 
 burden. I laid you on a bed, a nurse was in 
 the room, and the doctor soon arrived. 
 
 I waited downstairs for his verdict. Your 
 uncle seemed anxious ; and Mischief was pale with 
 fear ; I told them how I had found you. 
 
 The doctor came in looking extremely grave, 
 and said you were very ill. You had pneumonia; 
 such a sudden collapse was due to a chill, and a 
 debilitated condition. 
 
 Your uncle invited me to stay in the house. 
 Ten days passed in the greatest suspense. At last 
 you slowly rallied, the fever departed, your breath-
 
 396 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 ing became normal, you were declared out of 
 danger. The doctor had said one person might be 
 allowed in the room; I gave your uncle a reason 
 which he accepted, that I should be the one; and 
 day by day I watched your gradual recovery." 
 
 He read me all he had written, and I listened 
 intently. Oh ! the strange and wonderful discovery 
 his words brought me! 
 
 " I never imagined," I said, " you would care so 
 much." 
 
 He closed my little book, and came and knelt 
 by my bedside. 
 
 " Yvonne, my darling," he said, " I want you 
 to forgive me for the way I treated you at Rill- 
 dale the cause I think of all you have suffered." 
 
 " You have also suffered from cause of me," I 
 answered, "and I have much to be forgiven too! " 
 
 " Yvonne, I want you to be my wife, I love you." 
 
 I laid my hand timidly on his arm and said, " I 
 think I have always loved you." 
 
 He put his arm around me, and I rested my 
 head upon his shoulder. I looked up at him ; he 
 bent over me and kissed me, very gently, very 
 tenderly, with reverence, and I never had imagined 
 a feeling of such happiness. 
 
 I was so weak, I hardly felt as if I had a body 
 at all ; only a spirit to think of him, and a heart to 
 love him.
 
 NEW YORK 397 
 
 The daylight had gone; the fire illumined the 
 room; everything was hushed and quiet; in low 
 words we spoke to each other, so that not even the 
 walls could catch the sound of our voices. 
 
 Having been so near dying, I was given back to 
 this new, wonderful joy of living, and thus I be- 
 came affianced.
 
 XL 
 
 DECEMBER 22cl. I am rapidly growing 
 stronger. I sit up a few hours every day, 
 and each of the people I like best, I have seen. 
 
 Mischief was the first, for Herbert told me how 
 changed she had been during my illness, and in 
 truth when I saw her come in, very softly, on tip- 
 toe, she looked not like the wild child I had known 
 at Newport. 
 
 She held my hand, and pressed it against her 
 cheek, and in a low voice she spoke : 
 
 " Oh, Yvonne, my very sweetest, I am so glad 
 you are alive, for I was sure you were going to 
 die. I stood hours outside your door, waiting 
 for your last gasp, as people do in books, and now 
 instead you are well, and you are going to marry 
 Mr. Dale. He is fine! And I will come and live 
 with you, and play with your little children. He 
 told me I was the first to whom he announced 
 his engagement. Until then my heart was in little 
 pieces, I was so unhappy, but now we shall have a 
 jolly life together, we three." 
 
 " Dear Mischief," I said, " I love you dearly, 
 and you certainly will come and pay us long visits." 
 
 " You will see how good I am now," said Mis- 
 398
 
 NEW YORK 399 
 
 chief, " even my governess says I have improved. 
 I am glad I have got you to love, beside horses 
 and dogs; of course I am fond of Papa, but he is 
 too busy to pay attention to me, and Mamma was 
 too old when I was born; she likes better grown 
 up daughters. Nancy, you know is going to marry 
 her Marquis. I shall marry a cowboy. I told Mr. 
 Dale how you and Evelyn fought over his picture, 
 and that I was mad that you let her have it after- 
 wards. She is now in San Francisco, attending a 
 Charity Congress. Oh ! you Sweetest, I am so glad 
 to have you here ! " And Mischief chattered on. 
 I am a little disturbed that she imagines she is to 
 live with us always. 
 
 Anna Engel wept over me a flood of tears, and 
 I realized how much I had worried her and Herbert, 
 and even those whom I thought liked me not, by 
 my disappearance. I have remorses to have made 
 any one so anxious. She is also staying here in 
 Uncle John's house. She visits daily Frau Matrosi, 
 who, she tells me, at once became in better health 
 when Herbert promised to send her back to Ger- 
 many. Frau Matrosi and Anna travel together to 
 Europe next month. Herbert went to see Frau 
 Matrosi, and said that he owed a large debt of 
 gratitude to any one who had been kind to me ; so 
 his present to Frau Matrosi is to her a fortune, 
 which enables her never to act again, but to live 
 at home with her husband and her little boys.
 
 400 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 Mary Snow has been established, as was her 
 dream, in a little hat shop, of which she is mis- 
 tress, and is doing well I hear. 
 
 Herbert and I have arranged the best way to 
 assist my different friends. And Oh! it is the 
 greatest joy in the world to make people happy. 
 He told me I inherited a large fortune from my 
 grandmother, and I can have money to spend even 
 before I am twenty-one. He explained to me 
 what it signified that Cousin Henry is executor of 
 the estate. 
 
 To-day when I sat in the little boudoir, next my 
 room, he brought in Herr Schimmel to see me, 
 saying in German, " Yvonne, here is a good friend 
 of yours." 
 
 I was so glad to see Herr Schimmel. I held out 
 my two hands to him. He bent over and kissed 
 them both, and his face was full of emotion. 
 
 " Roschen, Roschen," he said, " Ach ncinl I must 
 call you now gnadiges Fraiilcin." 
 
 " No," I said, " that is not necessary." 
 
 " Soon," said Herr Schimmel, " you will be 
 gnddige Fran." 
 
 " Yes," I answered, " and you and all the Troupe 
 are coming to my wedding. It will be here in the 
 house, with only my best friends present." 
 
 We three talked together some time. Herr 
 Schimmel told Herbert he had worried much to 
 leave me in New York to earn my own living,
 
 NEW YORK 401 
 
 but he knew not what to do for he was pledged to 
 Herr Meyerbaum. The Troupe had suffered many 
 difficulties. " But now," he said to me, " owing 
 to your Herr Braiitigam's generosity and patronage, 
 the different members have found well paying sit- 
 uations; and as for me, Ach! I am so happy! I 
 am first flutist in a little orchestra, with a regular 
 salary; that was always my dream." 
 
 " Dear Herr Schimmel," I said, " the experience 
 I have made, of knowing what it is to be cold, 
 and not well fed, without money, in surroundings 
 sombre and unpleasant, has taught me much, and 
 now I shall be able to make life more commodious 
 to other people." 
 
 "Ach! mein teures Kind," said Herr Schimmel, 
 " it is not the money you will give that alone will 
 make other people's lives happier, it is the golden 
 grace, the kindness of your heart which accompanies 
 and beautifies the gift. Believe me, mein Herr" 
 he said turning to Herbert, " each one of us poor 
 comedians felt the better for her presence 
 among us; and our respect for this innocent young 
 girl seemed a natural tribute from our better 
 natures." 
 
 " Oh," I said, rendered humble by all this praise, 
 " you forget how thoughtless and childish I have 
 been, and I made him suffer." I held out my hand 
 to Herbert, who smiled at me. 
 
 As is the custom in Germany, for the bride to 
 26
 
 402 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 give presents to her friends, I have sent gifts to 
 all the Troupe which I think will please them. 
 
 I have had a letter from Cousin Henry, who is 
 taking a cure for his liver in Bohemia. He tried 
 to be pleasant and express joy at my return to, 
 what he calls, my natural sphere, and to con- 
 gratulate me on my engagement to Herbert, which 
 was cabled to him. But I am afraid his feelings 
 are still affected by the sufferings of his liver, and 
 that the news of my betrothal made him swallow 
 a bitter pill of disappointment. 
 
 Herbert asked my mother's consent to propose 
 to me, in one of the daily cables he despatched dur- 
 ing my illness. I thought it was very wily of him 
 to imitate the European custom; she cabled her 
 assent, and here is a letter from her I have just re- 
 ceived. 
 
 " Dear Yvonne, 
 
 " After the months of cruel anxiety we have 
 endured owing to your unutterable conduct, it is 
 a relief to know that someone is willing to un- 
 dertake your future guidance. I am informed Mr. 
 Dale is of good family, that he has fortune, and 
 is still in robust health; this is fortunate, for my 
 nerves are shattered by the mortification caused 
 by your disgraceful flight. We had it understood 
 that your grandmother, having made you her 
 heiress, had sent for you to America; that rinding
 
 NEW YORK 403 
 
 her dead, you had gone into retirement during 
 your mourning. I first thought when I ignored 
 where you were, of announcing you had gone to 
 a nervine establishment, as many ladies go there, 
 dc nos jours, instead of in convents; but I reflected 
 it might produce line impression jacheuse, affect- 
 ing Wilmelmine's prospects, if people thought 
 there was a touch of insanity in the family ; al- 
 though I consider you were quite mad to behave 
 as you did. Your marriage dispels our inquietude 
 for your unfortunate proclivity, as your Cousin 
 Henry Short justly calls it, for awakening the 
 affections of undesirable young men. Herr Hase- 
 mann has had the good taste to vanish to a Pas- 
 torat in North East Prussia. When Mr. Dale 
 cabled you were found, and that you were ill, I 
 should have forced myself to cross the ocean, al- 
 though I nearly die from mal de mer, but the 
 Emperor was expected in Paris, and I had to be at 
 my post. I have announced your marriage to our 
 friends; I confess to see you allied to a simple 
 American, when my sister's girls are married to 
 a Duke and Marquis, and to think you might have 
 been a Serene Highness, is a great^ chagrin, espe- 
 cially now that your being an heiress would have 
 equalized your situation towards the Filrst, and 
 rendered Wilhelmine's avenir infinitely more 
 brilliant. It is my duty to wish you all joy, and 
 I shall welcome you and try to forgive you, if you
 
 404 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 and Mr. Dale should make your voyage de noce 
 to Paris, as American frocks are impossible. 
 
 " Your Affectionate 
 
 " MOTHER." 
 
 I shall try and write as filial an answer as I can. 
 
 My happy hours are those I spend alone with 
 Herbert. It is wonderful that a man like him 
 should love me! Oh! how I look forward to the 
 moment when he arrives every afternoon. 
 
 I sit in a big arm-chair by the fire; the lights 
 are dim; the sweet fragrance of flowers fills the 
 room; I have learnt to appreciate, from having 
 missed them so long, these delicious things that make 
 life so agreeable. 
 
 I said to Herbert to-day, that I must not let 
 myself forget my experiences of poverty; for now 
 that I am marrying an American, of which I am 
 so proud, I want to use all my sentiments of 
 patriotism, not only in loving my country but in 
 loving all its inhabitants, especially the poor ones. 
 Herbert is so sympathetic, and says he will help 
 me in everything I wish to do. 
 
 We had a conversation just now which made 
 clear to me many things in his former conduct 
 I understood not. He sat by my side, and I 
 rested my head on his shoulder. I asked why he 
 had discovered he loved me when I was absent 
 from him.
 
 NEW YORK 405 
 
 " When I found you were gone I knew that not 
 fear, but love love such as I had never known 
 was what I felt. From the first moment I saw 
 you in the train going to Newport you interested 
 me. When you came to Rilldale in the summer, 
 I was charmed by your pretty ways. You were 
 so innocent and untouched by the world. You 
 showed such earnestness in your enthusiastic love 
 for your country. On our long motor drive from 
 Stockbridge to West Point, when we were alone 
 together, again I was drawn and fascinated by you 
 but I reminded myself that I was twice your age. 
 And when Bobby informed me that you were en- 
 gaged, I tried to close my heart against you. That 
 is why I seemed brusque and repellant. Oh, my 
 darling, if I had been less of a fool, if when you 
 came to me on that stormy night, I had taken you 
 in my arms, all your sorrows and all my anxiety 
 would have been spared us." 
 
 But now his arms are my natural shelter; thus 
 when we are silent, as also when we converse, the 
 deeper love enters more and more into our hearts.
 
 RILLDALE
 
 XLI 
 
 DECEMBER 3 1 st. This is my wedding day! 
 The ceremony of marriage I cannot well 
 describe ; I look back upon it as a sort of bewilder- 
 ing dream. It took place in my Uncle John King's 
 house. All my best friends were there: Bobby, 
 Lily Stuart and Tom, Cousin Hilliard Carrington, 
 Anna Engel, Frau Matrosi, Herr Schimmel, Mary 
 Snow, Herr Meyerbaum and all the Troupe, some 
 friends of Herbert's, Cousin Carolina, who looked 
 consternated at finding herself in a company 
 so mixed I was not very regretful that Cousin 
 Henry was in Bohemia, and Evelyn in the West. 
 
 At the breakfast, many speeches were made and 
 toasts were drunk. We left the house in a glow- 
 ing atmosphere of good wishes. Just as we were 
 entering the carriage, Mischief appeared dressed 
 in a costume for travel; she intended to go with 
 us, but Cousin Hilliard said he had made up a 
 party for the theatre that night; she would spoil 
 all their fun if she did not go with them, and I 
 would be willing to wait and have her come later. 
 After some demur she gave me what she calls a 
 " fierce hug," as farewell. 
 
 409
 
 410 AN ARDENT AMERICAN 
 
 I seemed during the voyage to Stockbridge to be 
 gliding onward into the joyful realization of a 
 vision. Behind me I was leaving all disquietude, 
 all trouble and pain, and before me lay a radiant 
 happiness. 
 
 As we rose in the hills, snow covered the ground 
 like a bridal veil to do me honor. Thus I have 
 seen my beloved country under the aspect of all 
 the seasons, and in every change I find a new 
 delight; it is in truth the land of promise, in which 
 it is my good fortune now to dwell. 
 
 We drove from the station up the road, where I 
 had toiled with grief and fear in my heart. 
 
 For the third time I entered the library at Rill- 
 dale. I entered hand in hand with Herbert. Now 
 it is my home! A fire burned in the great chim- 
 ney; our evening repast was served before it. 
 
 My soul is filled with tender thoughts. If my 
 grandmother could but see me ! She knew well 
 she was making my joy secure when she asked 
 Herbert to be my friend. 
 
 He and I are sitting together before the fire, 
 there is but half a page left in my diary. He tells 
 me I shall no longer want to inscribe my thoughts, 
 and so these last words are a farewell. 
 
 As I flutter the pages, the names of many people 
 leap before me, and nearly all have been kind; it 
 may be my fault that one or two have not so well 
 liked me. In this half year, every sort of expert
 
 RILLDALE 411 
 
 ence has entered my life, and I have been taught 
 many lessons. 
 
 In the silence of the house slowly the clock 
 strikes twelve, and as the New Year opens, I close 
 my little book. 
 
 THE END
 
 *L b 
 20 net 
 
 A 000125212 1