Ex Libris
C. K. OGDEN
THE LIBRARY
OF
THE UNIVERSITY
OF CALIFORNIA
LOS ANGELES
SYLVIE AND BRUNO
CONCLUDED
ADVERTISEMENT.
For over 25 years, I have made it my chief object,
with regard to my books, that they should be of the
best workmanship attainable for the price. And I
am deeply annoyed to find that the last issue of
" Through the Looking-Glass," consisting of the
Sixtieth Thousand, has been put on sale without its
being noticed that most of the pictures have failed
so much, in the printing, as to make the book not
worth buying. I request all holders of copies to
send them to Messrs. Macmillan & Co., 29 Bedford
Street, Covent Garden, with their names and
addresses ; and copies of the next issue shall be
sent them in exchange.
Instead, however, of destroying the unsold copies,
I propose to utilise them by giving them away, to
Mechanics' Institutes, Village Reading-Rooms, and
similar institutions, where the means for purchasing
such books are scanty. Accordingly I invite appli-
cations for such gifts, addressed to me, " care of
Messrs. Macmillan." Every such application should
be signed by some responsible person, and should
state how far they are able to buy books for them-
selves, and what is the average number of readers.
I take this opportunity of announcing that, if
at any future time I should wish to communicate
anything to my Readers, I will do so by advertising,
in the 'Agony' Column of some of the Daily Papers,
#n the first Tuesday in the month.
LEWIS CARROLL.
Christmas, 1893.
[See p. 304.
SYLVIE AND BRUNO
CONCLUDED
WITH FORTY-SIX ILLUSTRATIONS
BY
HARRY FURNISS
PRICE THREE HALF-CROWNS
Slontion
MAC MILL AN AND CO.
AND NEW YORK
'893
The Right of Translation and Reproduction is Reserved
RICHARD CLAY AND SONS, LIMITED
LONDON AND BUNGAY.
Library
Breams, tijat elutie tfje SJBafcer's fren^teti grasp-
Mantis, starfc ant still, on a fceafc ^ftotfjer's fcreast,
nebermorc stall render clasp for clasp,
j) sootfje a toeeptng CfjiltJ to rest
Jn sucfjltfee forms me listed to portraj)
Cale, fjere entjeti. ^Tijou tjeltcious
Cfje guardian of a Spttte tfjat libes to tease tfjee
ILobing in earnest, carting tut in plaj)
C^e merrj) mocking iSruno! SHto, tfjat sees tfjee,
(Kan fail to lobe tfjee, Barling, eben as !?
stoeetest 5Blbte, toe must sag '
icsiros
PREFACE.
I MUST begin with the same announcement as in
the previous Volume (which I shall henceforward
refer to as "Vol. I.," calling the present Volume
"Vol. II."), viz. that the Locket, at p. 405, was drawn
by ' Miss Alice Havers.' And my reason, for not
stating this on the title-page that it seems only
due, to the artist of these wonderful pictures, that
his name should stand there alone has, I think,
even greater weight in Vol. II. than it had in Vol. I.
Let me call especial attention to the three " Little
Birds" borders, at pp. 365, 371, 377. The way, in
which he has managed to introduce the most minute
details of the stanzas to be illustrated, seems to me
a triumph of artistic ingenuity.
Let me here express my sincere gratitude to the
many Reviewers who have noticed, whether favorably
or unfavorably, the previous Volume. Their unfavor-
able remarks were, most probably, well-deserved ;
the favorable ones less probably so. Both kinds
have no doubt served to make the book known, and
have helped the reading Public to form their opinions
of it. Let me also here assure them that it is not
from any want of respect for their criticisms, that I
x PREFACE.
have carefully forborne from reading any of them.
I am strongly of opinion that an author had far
better not read any reviews of his books : the un-
favorable ones are almost certain to make him
cross, and the favorable ones conceited ; and neither
of these results is desirable.
Criticisms have, however, reached me from private
sources, to some of which I propose to offer a reply.
One such critic complains that Arthur's strictures,
on sermons and on choristers, are too severe. Let me
say, in reply, that I do not hold myself responsible
for any of the opinions expressed by the characters
in my book. They are simply opinions which, it
seemed to me, might probably be held by the persons
into whose mouths I put them, and which were
worth consideration.
Other critics have objected to certain innovations
in spelling, such as " ca'n't," " wo'n't," " traveler." In
reply, I can only plead my firm conviction that the
popular usage is wrong. As to "ca'n't," it will not
be disputed that, in all other words ending in " n't,"
these letters are an abbreviation of " not " ; and it is
surely absurd to suppose that, in this solitary instance,
" not " is represented by " 't " ! In fact " can't " is
\heproper abbreviation for "can it," just as "is't" is
for " is it." Again, in " wo'n't," the first apostrophe
is needed, because the word " would " is here abridged
into " wo " : but I hold it proper to spell " don't "
with only one apostrophe, because the word " do " is
here complete. As to such words as " traveler," I
hold the correct principle to be, to double the con-
PREFACE. xi
sonant when the accent falls on that syllable ; other-
wise to leave it single. This rule is observed in most
cases (e.g. we double the " r " in " preferred," but
leave it single in "offered"), so that I am only ex-
tending, to other cases, an existing rule. I admit,
however, that I do not spell " parallel," as the rule
would have it ; but here we are constrained, by the
etymology, to insert the double " 1 ".
In the Preface to Vol. I. were two puzzles, on which
my readers might exercise their ingenuity. One was,
to detect the 3 lines of " padding," which I had found
it necessary to supply in the passage extending from
the top of p. 35 to the middle of p. 38. They are
the I4th, 1 5th, and i6th lines of p. 37. The other
puzzle was, to determine which (if any) of the 8
stanzas of the Gardener's Song (see pp. 65, 78, 83,
90, 1 06, 1 1 6, 164, 1 68) were adapted to the context,
and which (if any) had the context adapted to them.
The last of them is the only one that was adapted to
the context, the " Garden-Door that opened with a
key" having been substituted for some creature (a
Cormorant, I think) " that nestled in a tree." At
pp. 78, 1 06, and 164, the context was adapted to the
stanza. At p. 90, neither stanza nor context was
altered : the connection between them was simply a
piece of good luck.
In the Preface to Vol. 1., at pp. ix., x., I gave an
account of the making-up of the story of " Sylvie and
Bruno." A few more details may perhaps be accept-
able to my Readers.
xii PREFACE.
It was in 1873, as I now believe, that the idea
first occurred to me that a little fairy-tale (written,
in 1867, for "Aunt Judy's Magazine," under the title
" Bruno's Revenge ") might serve as the nucleus of a
longer story. This I surmise, from having found the
original draft of the last paragraph of Vol. II., dated
1873. So that this paragraph has been waiting 20
years for its chance of emerging into print more
than twice the period so cautiously recommended by
Horace for ' repressing ' one's literary efforts !
It was in February, 1885, that I entered into nego-
tiations, with Mr. Harry Furniss, for illustrating the
book. Most of the substance of both Volumes was
then in existence in manuscript : and my original
intention was to publish the whole story at once.
In September, 1885, I received from Mr. Furniss the
first set of drawings the four which illustrate
"Peter and Paul" (see I. pp. 144, 147, 150, 154): in
November, 1886, I received the second set the
three which illustrate the Professor's song about the
"little man" who had "a little gun" (Vol. II. pp.
265, 266, 267): and in January, 1887, I received the
third set the four which illustrate the " Pig-Tale."
So we went on, illustrating first one bit of the
story, and then another, without any idea of sequence.
And it was not till March, 1889, that, having calcu-
lated the number of pages the story would occupy, I
decided on dividing it into two portions, and publish-
ing it half at a time. This necessitated the writing
of a sort of conclusion for the first Volume : and most
of my Readers, I fancy, regarded this as the actual
PREFACE. xiii
conclusion, when that Volume appeared in December,
1889. At any rate, among all the letters I received
about it, there was only one which expressed any sus-
picion that it was not a final conclusion. This letter
was from a child. She wrote " we were so glad,
when we came to the end of the book, to find that
there was no ending-up, for that shows us that you
are going to write a sequel."
It may interest some of my Readers to know the
theory on which this story is constructed. It is an
attempt to show what might possibly happen, suppos-
ing that Fairies really existed ; and that they were
sometimes visible to us, and we to them ; and that
they were sometimes able to assume human form :
and supposing, also, that human beings might some-
times become conscious of what goes on in the Fairy-
world by actual transference of their immaterial
essence, such as we meet with in ' Esoteric Buddhism.'
I have supposed a Human being to be capable of
various psychical states, with varying degrees of
consciousness, as follows :
(a) the ordinary state, with no consciousness of the
presence of Fairies ;
(<) the ' eerie ' state, in which, while conscious of
actual surroundings, he is also conscious of the pre-
sence of Fairies ;
(c) a form of trance, in which, while ?^zconscious
of actual surroundings, and apparently asleep, he (i.e.
his immaterial essence) migrates to other scenes, in
the actual world, or in Fairyland, and is conscious of
the presence of Fairies.
PREFACE.
i have also supposed a Fairy to be capable of mi-
grating from Fairyland into the actual world, and
of assuming, at pleasure, a Human form ; and also
to be capable of various psychical states, viz.
(a) the ordinary state, with no consciousness of
the presence of Human beings ;
(b} a sort of ' eerie ' state, in which he is conscious,
if in the actual world, of the presence of actual Human
beings ; if in Fairyland, of the presence of the im-
material essences of Human beings.
I will here tabulate the passages, in both Volumes,
where abnormal states occur.
Vol. I.
Historian's Locality and State.
Other characters.
pp. i 16
33 55
65 79
83 99
105117
119 183
190 221
225233
247253
262, 263
263 269
b
a.
c
b
b
c
a.
a
b
Chancellor () p. 2.
S. and B. (6) pp. 158163.
Professor (b) p. 169.
Bruno (b) pp. 198220.
S. and B. (/>).
do. (b).
S. B. and Professor in Human
form.
S. and B. (/,).
S. B. and Professor (b).
S. and B. in Human form.
S. and B. (b).
do
do
At lodgings
On beach
At lodgings
do. sleep-walking .
Among ruins
do. dreaming . .
do. sleep-walking
279294
304323
329344
345356
361 382
In garden
Vol. II.
pp.4 1 8
47 5 2
53 7?
79- 92
152 211
212 246
262 270
304309
3"345
351399
407 end.
b
b
b
b
a
c
c
b
c
c
b
S. and B. (b).
do (b).
do in Human form,
do (b).
do in Human form,
do (b).
do (b).
do (a) ; Lady Muriel (i).
do
do
In drawing-room ....
do. ....
In smoking-room ....
In wood
do
do
PREFACE xv
In the Preface to Vol. I., at p. x., I gave an account
of the origination of some of the ideas embodied in
the book. A few more such details may perhaps in-
terest my Readers :
I. p. 203. The very peculiar use, here made of a
dead mouse, comes from real life. I once found two
very small boys, in a garden, playing a microscopic
game of c Single-Wicket.' The bat was, I think, about
the size of a table-spoon ; and the utmost distance
attained by the ball, in its most daring flights, was
some 4 or 5 yards. The exact length was of course a
matter of supreme importance ; and it was always
carefully measured out (the batsman and the bowler
amicably sharing the toil) with a dead mouse !
I. p. 259. The two quasi-mathematical Axioms,
quoted by Arthur at p. 259 of Vol. I., (" Things that
are greater than the same are greater than one
another," and " All angles are equal ") were actually
enunciated, in all seriousness, by undergraduates at a
University situated not 100 miles from Ely.
II. p. 10. Bruno's remark (" I can, if I like, &c.")
was actually made by a little boy.
II. p. 12. So also was his remark (" I know what
it doesn't spell.") And his remark (" I just twiddled
my eyes, &c.") I heard from the lips of a little girl,
who had just solved a puzzle I had set her.
II. p. 55. Bruno's soliloquy ("For its father, &c.")
was actually spoken by a little girl, looking out of
the window of a railway-carriage.
II. p. 138. The remark, made by a guest at the
dinner-party, when asking for a dish of fruit (" I've
xvi PREFACE.
been wishing for them, &c.") I heard made by the
great Poet-Laureate, whose loss the whole reading-
world has so lately had to deplore.
II. p. 163. Bruno's speech, on the subject of the
age of ' Mein Herr,' embodies the reply of a little
girl to the question " Is your grandmother an old
lady ? " " I don't know if she's an old lady," said this
cautious young person ; " she's eighty-three."
II. p. 203. The speech about 'Obstruction' is no
mere creature of my imagination ! It is copied ver-
batim from the columns of the Standard, and was
spoken by Sir William Harcourt, who was, at the
time, a member of the ' Opposition,' at the ' National
Liberal Club,' on July the i6th, 1890.
II. p. 329. The Professor's remark, about a dog's
tail, that " it doesn't bite at that end," was actually
made by a child, when warned of the danger he was
incurring by pulling the dog's tail.
II. p. 374. The dialogue between Sylvie and Bruno,
which occupies lines 6 to 15, is a verbatim report
(merely substituting "cake" for "penny") of a dia-
logue overheard between two children.
One story in this Volume ' Bruno's Picnic '-
I can vouch for as suitable for telling to children,
having tested it again and again ; and, whether my
audience has been a dozen little girls in a village-
school, or some thirty or forty in a London drawing-
room, or a hundred in a High School, I have always
found them earnestly attentive, and keenly appreci-
ative of such fun as the story supplied.
PREFACE. xvii
May I take this opportunity of calling attention to
what I flatter myself was a successful piece of name-
coining, at p. 42 of Vol. I. Does not the name
' Sibimet ' fairly embody the character of the Sub-
Warden ? The gentle Reader has no doubt observed
what a singularly useless article in a house a brazen
trumpet is, if you simply leave it lying about, and
never blow it !
Readers of the first Volume, who have amused
themselves by trying to solve the two puzzles pro-
pounded at pp. xi., xii. of the Preface, may perhaps
like to exercise their ingenuity in discovering which
(if any) of the following parallelisms were intentional,
and which (if any) accidental.
" Little Birds." Events, and Persons.
Stanza i. Banquet.
2. Chancellor.
3. Empress and Spinach (II. 325).
4. Warden's Return.
5. Professor's Lecture (II. 339).
6. Other Professor's song (I. 138'
7. Petting of Uggug.
8. Baron Doppelgeist.
9. Jester and Bear (I. 119). Little Foxes.
10. Bruno's Dinner-Bell ; Little Foxes.
I will publish the answer to this puzzle in the
Preface to a little book of " Original Games and
Puzzles," now in course of preparation.
b
xviii PREFACE.
I have reserved, for the last, one or two rather more
serious topics.
I had intended, in this Preface, to discuss more
fully, than I had done in the previous Volume, the
' Morality of Sport ', with special reference to letters
I have received from lovers of Sport, in which they
point out the many great advantages which men get
from it, and try to prove that the suffering, which it
inflicts on animals, is too trivial to be regarded.
But, when I came to think the subject out, and to
arrange the whole of the arguments ' pro ' and ' con ',
I found it much too large for treatment here. Some
day, I hope to publish an essay on this subject. At
present, I will content myself with stating the net
result I have arrived at.
It is, that God has given to Man an absolute right
to take the lives of other animals, for any reasonable
cause, such as the supply of food : but that He has
not given to Man the right to inflict pain, unless
when necessary: that mere pleasure, or advantage,
does not constitute such a necessity : and, con-
sequently, that pain, inflicted for the purposes of
Sport, is cruel, and therefore wrong. But I find it a
far more complex question than I had supposed ;
and that the ' case ', on the side of the Sportsman, is
a much stronger one than I had supposed. So, for
the present, I say no more about it.
Objections have been raised to the severe language
I have put into the mouth of ' Arthur ', at p. 277, on
PREFACE. xix
the subject of * Sermons,' and at pp. 273, 274, on the
subjects of Choral Services and ' Choristers.'
I have already protested against the assumption
that I am ready to endorse the opinions of characters
in my story. But, in these two instances, I admit
that I am much in sympathy with ' Arthur.' In my
opinion, far too many sermons are expected from our
preachers ; and, as a consequence, a great many are
preached, which are not worth listening to ; and, as a
consequence of that, we are very apt not to listen.
The reader of this paragraph probably heard a sermon
last Sunday morning ? Well, let him, if he can, name
the text, and state how the preacher treated it !
Then, as-to ' Choristers,' and all the other accessories
of music, vestments, processions, &c., which
have come, along with them, into fashion while freely
admitting that the ' Ritual ' movement was sorely
needed, and that it has effected a vast improvement
in our Church-Services, which had become dead and
dry to the last degree, I hold that, like many other
desirable movements, it has gone too far in the oppo-
site direction, and has introduced many new dangers.
For the Congregation this new movement involves
the danger of learning to think that the Services are
done for them ; and that their bodily presence is all
they need contribute. And, for Clergy and Con-
gregation alike, it involves the danger of regarding
these elaborate Services as ends in themselves, and
of forgetting that they are simply means, and the
very hollo west of mockeries, unless they bear fruit in
our lives.
b 2
xx PREFACE.
For the Choristers it seems to involve the danger
of self-conceit, as described at p. 274 (N.B. " stagy-
entrances " is a misprint for " stage-entrances "), the
danger of regarding those parts of the Service, where
their help is not required, as not worth attending to,
the danger of coming to regard the Service as a mere
outward form a series of postures to be assumed,
and of words to be said or sung, while the thoughts
are elsewhere and the danger of ' familiarity '
breeding ' contempt ' for sacred things.
Let me illustrate these last two forms of danger,
from my own experience. Not long ago, I attended
a Cathedral-Service, and was placed immediately
behind a row of men, members of the Choir ; and I
could not help noticing that they treated the Lessons
as a part of the Service to which they needed not to
give any attention, and as affording them a convenient
opportunity for arranging music-books, &c., &c. Also
I have frequently seen a row of little choristers, after
marching in procession to their places, kneel down, as
if about to pray, and rise from their knees after a
minute spent in looking about them, it being but too
evident that the attitude was a mere mockery. Surely
it is very dangerous, for these children, to thus ac-
custom them to pretend to pray ? As an instance of
irreverent treatment of holy things, I will mention a
custom, which no doubt many of my readers have
noticed in Churches where the Clergy and Choir enter
in procession, viz. that, at the end of the private de-
votions, which are carried on in the vestry, and which
are of course inaudible to the Congregation, the final
PREFACE. xxi
" Amen " is shouted, loud enough to be heard all
through the Church. This serves as a signal, to the
Congregation, to prepare to rise when the procession
appears : and it admits of no dispute that it is for this
purpose that it is thus shouted. When we remember
to Whom that " Amen " is really addressed, and con-
sider that it is here used for the same purpose as one
of the Church-bells, we must surely admit that it is a
piece of gross irreverence ? To me it is much as if
I were to see a Bible used as a footstool.
As an instance of the dangers, .for the Clergy
themselves, introduced by this new movement, let
me mention the fact that, according to my experi-
ence, Clergymen of this school are specially apt to
retail comic anecdotes, in which the most sacred
names and words sometimes actual texts from
the Bible are used as themes for jesting. Many
such things are repeated as having been originally
said by children, whose utter ignorance of evil must
no doubt acquit them, in the sight of God, of all
blame ; but it must be otherwise for those who
consciously use such innocent utterances as material
for their unholy mirth.
Let me add, however, most earnestly, that I fully
believe that this profanity is, in many cases, wwcon-
scious : the ' environment ' (as I have tried to explain
at p. 123) makes all the difference between man and
man ; and I rejoice to think that many of these pro-
fane stories which / find so painful to listen to,
and should feel it a sin to repeat give to their ears
no pain, and to their consciences no shock ; and that
xxii PREFACE.
they can utter, not less sincerely than myself, the
two prayers, " Hallowed be TJiy Name" and "from
hardness of heart, and 'contempt of Thy Word and
Commandment, Good Lord, deliver us ! " To which
I would desire to add, for their sake and for my own,
Keble's beautiful petition, "help us, this and every day,
To live more nearly as we pray /" It is, in fact, for
its consequences for the grave dangers, both to speaker
and to hearer, which it involves rather than for what
it is in itself, that I mourn over this clerical habit of
profanity in social talk. To the believing hearer it
brings the danger of loss of reverence for holy things,
by the mere act of listening to, and enjoying, such
jests ; and also the temptation to retail them for the
amusement of others. To the unbelieving hearer it
brings a welcome confirmation of his theory that
religion is a fable, in the spectacle of its accredited
champions thus betraying their trust. And to the
speaker himself it must surely bring the danger of
loss of faith. For surely such jests, if uttered with
no consciousness of harm, must necessarily be also
uttered with no consciousness, at the moment, of the
reality of God, as a living being-,-who hears all we say.
And he, who allows himself the habit of thus uttering
holy words, with no thought of their meaning, is but
too likely to find that, for him, God has become a
myth, and heaven a poetic fancy that, for him, the
light of life is gone, and that he is at heart an atheist,
lost in " darkness that may be felt."
There is, I fear, at the present time, an increasing
tendency to irreverent treatment of the name of God
PREFACE. xxiii
and of subjects connected with religion. Some of
our theatres are helping this downward movement by
the gross caricatures of clergymen which they put
upon the stage : some of our clergy are themselves
helping it, by showing that they can lay aside the
spirit of reverence, along with their surplices, and can
treat as jests, when outside their churches, names and
things to which they pay an almost superstitious
veneration when inside: the " Salvation Army" has,
I fear, with the best intentions, done much to help it,
by the coarse familiarity with which they treat holy
things : and surely every one, who desires to live in
the spirit of the prayer " Hallowed be thy Name"
ought to do what he can, however little that may be,
to check it So I have gladly taken this unique
opportunity, however unfit the topic may seem for the
Preface to a book of this kind, to express some
thoughts which have weighed on my mind for a long
time. I did not expect, when I wrote the Preface to
Vol. I, that it would be read to any appreciable ex-
tent : but I rejoice to believe, from evidence that has
reached me, that it has been read by many, and to
hope that this Preface will also be so : and I think
that, among them, some will be found ready to
sympathise with the views I have put forwards, and
ready to help, with their prayers and their example,
the revival, in Society, of the waning spirit of
reverence.
Christmas, 1893.
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER PAGE
i. BRUNO'S LESSONS i
II. LOVE'S CURFEW 20
III. STREAKS OF DAWN 36
IV. THE DOG-KING 52
V. MATILDA JANE 67
vi. WILLIE'S WIFE 82
VI T. FORTUNATUS* PURSE 96
VIII. IN A SHADY PLACE IIO
IX. THE FAREWELL-PARTY 128
X. JABBERING AND JAM 147
XI. THE MAN IN THE MOON 162
XII. FAIRY-MUSIC 175
XIII. WHAT TOTTLES MEANT 194
xiv. : BRUNO'S PICNIC , . 212
CONTENTS. xxvii
CHAPTER PAGE
XV. THE LITTLE FOXES 233
XVI. BEYOND THESE VOICES 247
XVII. TO THE RESCUE.' 262
XVIII. A NEWSPAPER-CUTTING 282
XIX. A FAIRY-DUET 287
XX. GAMMON AND SPINACH 310
xxi. THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE 329
XXII. THE BANQUET 346
XXIII. THE PIG-TALE 363
xxiv. THE BEGGAR'S RETURN 381
XXV. LIFE OUT OF DEATH 400
GENERAL INDEX 413
LIST OF WORKS 426
ILLUSTRATIONS TO VOL. I.
PAGE
THE MARCH-UP 3
VISITING THE PROFESSOR II
BOOTS FOR HORIZONTAL WEATHER 15
A PORTABLE PLUNGE-BATH 24
REMOVAL OF UGGUG 41
' WHAT A GAME ! ' 48
' DRINK THIS ! ' 53
'COME, YOU BE OFF !. ' 62
THE GARDENER 66
A BEGGAR'S PALACE Front.
THE CRIMSON LOCKET ... - 77
'HE THOUGHT HE SAW A BUFFALO' 79
'IT WAS A HIPPOPOTAMUS' 91
THE MAP OF FAIRYLAND 96
'HE THOUGHT HE SAW A KANGAROO' 106
THE MOUSE-LION IO8
'HAMMER IT IN ! ' 115
A BEAR WITHOUT A HEAD 117
'COME UP, BRUIN!' 123
THE OTHER PROFESSOR 135
' HOW CHEERFULLY THE BOND HE SIGNED ! ' ... 144
'POOR PETER SHUDDERED IN DESPAIR' 147
ILLUSTRATIONS TO VOL. I. xxix
PAGE
'SUCH BOOTS AS THESE YOU SELDOM SEE' .... 150
'I WILL LEND YOU FIFTY MORE!' 154
'HE THOUGHT HE SAW AN ALBATROSS' 165
THE MASTIFF-SENTINEL ...' 172
THE DOG-KING , . 176
FAIRY-SYLVIE 193
BRUNO'S REVENGE ' 213
FAIRIES RESTING 226
A CHANGED CROCODILE 229
A LECTURE ON ART 240
'THREE BADGERS ON A MOSSY STONE' 247
'THE FATHER-BADGER, WRITHING IN A CAVE* . . . 249
'THOSE AGED ONES WAXED GAY' 252
' HOW PERFECTLY ISOCHRONOUS ! ' 268
THE LAME CHILD 280
'IT WENT IN TWO HALVES' 285
FIVE O'CLOCK TEA 296
' WHAT'S THE MATTER, DARLING ? ' 307
THE DEAD HARE 321
CROSSING THE LINE 341
'THE PUG-DOG SAT UP' 351
THE QUEEN'S BABY 363
THE FROGS' BIRTHDAY-TREAT 373
' HE WRENCHED OUT THAT CROCODILE'S TOOF ! ' . . 380
'LOOK EASTWARD!' 395
ILLUSTRATIONS TO VOL. II.
PAGE
SYLVIE'S TRUANT-PUPIL . . 8
KING FISHER'S WOOING 15
'SPEND IT ALL FOR MINNIE' 22
' ARE NOT THOSE ORCHISES ? ' 50
A ROYAL THIEF-TAKER 62
' SUMMAT WRONG Wl' MY SPECTACLES !'.... 64
BESSIE'S SONG 75
THE RESCUE OF WILLIE 83
WILLIE'S WIFE 88
FORTUNATUS' PURSE 103
'I AM SITTING AT YOUR FEET' 119
MEIN HERR'S FAIRY-FRIENDS 163
'HOW CALL YOU THE OPERA?' ....... 178
SCHOLAR-HUNTING : THE PURSUED 1 88
SCHOLAR-HUNTING : THE PURSUERS 189
THE EGG-MERCHANT 197
STARTING FOR BRUNO'S PICNIC 230
'ENTER THE LION' . . . . 236
' WHIHUAUCH ! WHIHUAUCH ! ' 242
' NEVER ! ' YELLED TOTTLES 248
BRUNO'S BED-TIME . . 265
' LONG CEREMONIOUS CALLS ' ... 266
ILLUSTRATIONS TO VOL. II. xxxi
PAGE
THE VOICES 267
'HIS SOUL SHALL BE SAD FOR THE SPIDER' . . . 268
LORDS OF THE CREATION 271
'WILL YOU NOT SPARE ME?' 277
IN THE CHURCH-YARD 2QI
A FAIRY-DUET Front.
THE OTHER PROFESSOR FOUND 317
'HER IMPERIAL HIGHNESS is SURPRISED!' ... 326
'HE THOUGHT HE SAW AN ELEPHANT' . . . . 335
AN EXPLOSION 345
'A CANNOT SHAK' HANDS wi' THEE!' 350
THE OTHER PROFESSOR'S FALL 352
'TEACHING TIGRESSES TO SMILE ' 365
'HORRID WAS THAT PIG'S DESPAIR!' 367
THE FATAL JUMP 369
'BATHING CROCODILES IN CREAM' .... . 371
THAT PIG LAY STILL AS ANY STONE' 372
'STILL HE SITS IN MISERIE' 373
' BLESSED BY HAPPY STAGS ' 377
THE OLD BEGGAR'S RETURN 382
' PORCUPINE !'.... 386
' GOOD-NIGHT, PROFESSOR ! ' 395
'HIS WIFE KNELT DOWN AT HIS SIDE' .... 401
THE BLUE LOCKET 405
' IT IS LOVE ! ' 407
SYLVIE AND BRUNO
CONCLUDED.
CHAPTER I.
BRUNO'S LESSONS.
DURING the next month or two my solitary
town-life seemed, by contrast, unusually dull
and tedious. I missed . the pleasant friends I
had left behind at Elveston the genial inter-
change of thought the sympathy which gave
to one's ideas a new and vivid reality : but,
perhaps more than all, I missed the companion-
ship of the two Fairies or Dream-Children,
for I had not yet solved the problem as to
who or what they were whose sweet playful-
ness had shed a magic radiance over my life.
In office-hours which I suppose reduce
most men to the mental condition of a coffee-
IE B
2 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
mill or a mangle time sped along much as
usual : it was in the pauses of life, the desolate
hours when books and newspapers palled on
the sated appetite, and when, thrown back
upon one's own dreary musings, one strove
all in vain to people the vacant air with the
dear faces of absent friends, that the real bitter-
ness of solitude made itself felt.
One evening, feeling my life a little more
wearisome than usual, I strolled down to my
Club, not so much with the hope of meeting
any friend there, for London was now ' out of
town,' as with the feeling that here, at least,
I should hear ' sweet words of human speech/
and come into contact with human thought.
However, almost the first face I saw there
was that of a friend. Eric Lindon was loung-
ing, with rather a 'bored' expression of face,
over a newspaper ; and we fell into conversa-
tion with a mutual satisfaction which neither
of us tried to conceal.
After a while I ventured to introduce what
was just then the main subject of my thoughts.
"And so the Doctor" (a name we had adopted
by a tacit agreement, as a convenient com-
i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 3
promise between the formality of ' Doctor
Forester' and the intimacy to which Eric
Lindon hardly seemed entitled of 'Arthur')
"has gone abroad by this time, I suppose?
Can you give me his present address ? "
" He is still at Elveston 1 believe," was
the reply. "But I have not been there since
I last met you."
I did not know which part of this intelligence
to wonder at most. " And might I ask if
it isn't taking too much of a liberty when
your wedding-bells are to or perhaps they
have rung, already ? "
" No," said Eric, in a steady voice, which
betrayed scarcely a trace of emotion : "//^en-
gagement is at an end. I am still ' Benedick
the //Tzmarried man.' '
After this, the thick-coming fancies all
radiant with new possibilities of happiness for
Arthur were far too bewildering to admit of
any further conversation, and I was only too
glad to avail myself of the first decent excuse,
that offered itself, for retiring into silence.
The next day I wrote to Arthur, with as
much of a reprimand for his long silence as I
B 2
4 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
could bring myself to put into words, begging
him to tell me how the world went with him.
Needs must that three or four days pos-
sibly more should elapse before I could
receive his reply ; and never had I known days
drag their slow length along with a more tedi-
ous indolence.
To while away the time, I strolled, one after-
noon, into Kensington Gardens, and, wandering
aimlessly along any path that presented itself,
I soon became aware that I had somehow
strayed into one that was wholly new to me.
Still, my elfish experiences seemed to have so
completely faded out of my life that nothing
was further from my thoughts than the idea of
again meeting my fairy-friends, when I chanced
to notice a small creature, moving among the
grass that fringed the path, that did not seem
to be an insect, or a frog, or any other living
thing that I could think of. Cautiously kneel-
ing down, and making an ex tempore cage of
my two hands, I imprisoned the little wanderer,
.and felt a sudden thrill of surprise and delight
on discovering that my prisoner was no other
than Bruno himself!
i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 5
Bruno took the matter very coolly, and, when
I had replaced him on the ground, where he
would be within easy conversational distance,
he began talking, just as if it were only a few
minutes since last we had met.
" Doos oo know what the Rule is," he en-
quired, " when oo catches a Fairy, withouten
its having tolded oo where it was ? " (Bruno's
notions of English Grammar had certainly not
improved since our last meeting.)
" No," I said. " I didn't know there was any
Rule about it."
" I think oo've got a right to eat me," said
the little fellow, looking up into my face with a
winning smile. " But I'm not pruffickly sure.
Oo'd better hot do it wizout asking."
It did indeed seem reasonable not to take so
irrevocable a step as that, without due enquiry.
" I'll certainly ask about it, first," I said. " Be-
sides, I don't know yet whether you would be
worth eating ! "
" I guess I'm deliriously good to eat," Bruno
remarked in a satisfied tone, as if it were some-
thing to be rather proud of.
" And what are you doing here, Bruno ?"
6 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Tkafs not iny name!" said my cunning
little friend. " Don't oo know my name's ' Oh
Bruno ! ' ? That's what Sylvie always calls me,
when- I says mine lessons."
" Well then, what are you doing here, oh
Bruno?"
" Doing mine lessons, a-course ! " With
that roguish twinkle in his eye, that always
came when he knew he was talking nonsense.
" Oh, thafs the way you do your lessons,
is it ? And do you remember them well ? "
" Always can 'member mine lessons," said
Bruno. " It's Sylvie s lessons that's so dreffully
hard to 'member ! '' He frowned, as if in
agonies of thought, and tapped his forehead
with his knuckles. " I cant think enough to
understand them!" he said despairingly. " It
wants double thinking, I believe ! "
" But where's Sylvie gone ? "
" That's just what / want to know ! " said
Bruno disconsolately. " What ever's the good
of setting me lessons, when she isn't here to
'splain the hard bits ? "
" /'// find her for you ! " I volunteered ; and,
getting up, I wandered round the tree under
i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 7
whose shade I had been reclining, looking on
all sides for Sylvie. In another minute I again
noticed some strange thing moving among the
grass, and, kneeling down, was immediately
confronted with Sylvie's innocent face, lighted
up with a joyful surprise at seeing me, and was
accosted, in the sweet voice I knew so well,
with what seemed to be the end of a sentence
whose beginning I had failed to catch.
" - - and I think he ought to have finished
them by this time. So I'm going back to him.
Will you come too ? It's only just round at
the other side of this tree."
It was but a few steps for me ; but it was a
great many for Sylvie ; and I had to be very
careful to walk slowly, in order not to leave
the little creature so far behind as to lose
sight of her.
To find Bruno's lessons was easy enough :
they appeared to be neatly written out on large
smooth ivy-leaves, which were scattered in some
confusion over a little patch of ground where
the grass had been worn away ; but the pale
student, who ought by rights to have been
bending over them, was nowhere to be seen :
SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
we looked in all directions, for some time, In
vain ; but at last Sylvie's sharp eyes detected
him, swinging on a tendril of ivy, and Sylvie's
stern voice commanded his instant return to
terra firma and to the business of Life.
I] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 9
"Pleasure first and business afterwards"
seemed to be the motto of these tiny folk, so
many hugs and kisses had to be interchanged
before anything else could be done.
" Now, Bruno," Sylvie said reproachfully,
" didn't I tell you you were to go on with your
lessons, unless you heard to the contrary ? "
" But I did heard to the contrary ! " Bruno
insisted, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
" What did you hear, you wicked boy ?"
" It were a sort of noise in the air," said
Bruno : " a sort of a scrambling noise. Didn't
oo hear it, Mister Sir ? "
" Well, anyhow, you needn't go to sleep over
them, you lazy-lazy ! " For Bruno had curled
himself up, on the largest ' lesson,' and was
arranging another as a pillow.
" I ivasnt asleep ! " said Bruno, in a deeply-
injured tone. " When I shuts mine eyes, it's
to show that I'm awake!"
:( Well, how much have you learned, then ?"
" I've learned a little tiny bit," said Bruno,
modestly, being evidently afraid of overstating
his achievement. " Cant learn no more ! "
" Oh Bruno ! You know you can, if you like."
io SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Course I can, if I like" the pale student
replied ; "but I ca'n't if I dorit like !"
Sylvie had a way which I could not too
highly admire of evading Bruno's logical
perplexities by suddenly striking into a new
line of thought ; and this masterly stratagem
she now adopted.
" Well, I must say one thing "
" Did oo know, Mister Sir," Bruno thought-
fully remarked, " that Sylvie ca'n't count ?
Whenever she says ' I must say one thing,' I
know quite well she'll say two things ! And
she always doos."
" Two heads are better than one, Bruno," I
said, but with no very distinct idea as to what
I meant by it.
" I shouldn't mind having two heads" Bruno
said softly to himself : " one head to eat mine
dinner, and one head to argue wiz Sylvie
doos oo think oo'd look prettier if oo'd got
two heads, Mister Sir ? "
The case did not, I assured him, admit of a
doubt.
" The reason why Sylvie's so cross-
Bruno went on very seriously, almost sadly.
i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. n
Sylvie's eyes grew large and round with
surprise at this new line of enquiry her rosy
face being perfectly radiant with good humour.
But she said nothing.
" Wouldn't it be better to tell me after the
lessons are over ? " I suggested.
" Very well," Bruno said with a resigned air :
" only she wo'n't be cross then."
" There's only three lessons to do," said Sylvie.
"Spelling, and Geography, and Singing."
" Not Arithmetic ?" I said.
" No, he hasn't a head for Arithmetic
"Course I haven't!" said Bruno. "Mine
head's for hair. \ haven't got a lot of heads ! "
" - - and he ca'n't learn his Multiplication-
table "
" I like History ever so much better," Bruno
remarked. " Oo has to repeat that Muddlecome
table "
" Well, and you have to repeat
" No, oo hasn't ! " Bruno interrupted. " His-
tory repeats itself. The Professor said so ! "
Sylvie was arranging some letters on a
board E V I L. " Now, Bruno," she
said, " what does that spell ?"
12 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Bruno looked at it, in solemn silence, for a
minute. " I knows what it doosrit spell ! " he
said at last.
" That's no good," said Sylvie. " What does
it spell?"
Bruno took another look at the mysterious
letters. "Why, it's 'LIVE,' backwards!" he
exclaimed. (I thought it was, indeed.)
" How did you manage to see that ? " said
Sylvie.
" I just twiddled my eyes," said Bruno,
" and then I saw it directly. Now may I
sing the King-fisher Song ?"
" Geography next," said Sylvie. " Don't you
know the Rules ? "
" I thinks there oughtn't to be such a lot of
Rules, Sylvie ! I thinks
" Yes, there ought to be such a lot of Rules,
you wicked, wicked boy ! And how dare you
think at all about it ? And shut up that
mouth directly ! "
So, as ' that mouth ' didn't seem inclined to
shut up of itself, Sylvie shut it for him with
both hands and sealed it with a kiss, just as
you would fasten up a letter.
l] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 13
" Now that Bruno is fastened up from
talking," she went on, turning to me, " I'll
show you the Map he does his lessons on."
And there it was, a large Map of the World,
spread out on the ground. It was so large that
Bruno had to crawl about on it, to point out the
places named in the 'King-fisher Lesson.'
" When a King-fisher sees a Lady-bird flying
away, he says ' Ceylon, if you Candia /' And
when he catches it, he says ' Come to Media !
And if you're Hungary or thirsty, I'll give you
some Nubia / ' When he takes it in his claws,
he says ' Europe ! ' When he puts it into his
beak, he says ' India ! ' When he's swallowed
it, he says ' Eton / ' That's all."
" That's quite perfect," said Sylvie. " Now
you may sing the King-fisher Song."
"Will oo sing the chorus ? " Bruno said to me.
I was just beginning to say " I'm afraid I
don't know the words" when Sylvie silently
turned the map over, and I found the words
were all written on the back. In one respect
it was a very peculiar song : the chorus to each
verse came in the middle., instead of at the end
of it. However, the tune was so easy that I
14 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
soon picked it up, and managed the chorus as
well, perhaps, as it is possible for one person to
manage such a thing. It was in vain that I
signed to Sylvie to help me : she only smiled
sweetly and shook her head.
"King Fislier courted Lady Bird
Sing Beans, sing Bones, sing Butterflies !
' Find me my match,' he said,
' With sucJi a noble head
With such a beard, as white as curd
With stick expressive eyes ! '
" ' Yet pins have heads,' said Lady Bird-
Sing Prunes, sing Prawns, sing Primrose-Hill !
' A nd, where you stick tliem in,
They stay, and thus a pin
Is very much to be preferred
To one that's never still /'
" ' Oysters have beards ,' said Lady Bird
Sing Flies, sing Frogs, sing Fiddle-strings !
' / love them, for I knoiv
They never chatter so :
They would not say one single word
Not if you crowned them Kings ! '
BRUNO'S LESSONS.
" ' Needles Jiave eyes,' said Lady Bird-
Sing Cats, sing Corks, sing Cowslip-tea!
' And they are sJiarp -justwJiat
Your Majesty is not :
So get you gone 'tis too absurd
To come a-courting me ! ' '
16 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"So he went away," Bruno added as a kind
of postscript, when the last note of the song
had died away. " Just like he always did."
" Oh, my dear Bruno ! " Sylvie exclaimed,
with her hands over her ears. "You shouldn't
say ' like ' : you should say ' what! '
To which Bruno replied, doggedly, " I only
says ' what ! ' when oo doosn't speak loud, so
as I can hear oo."
" Where did he go to ?" I asked, hoping to
prevent an argument.
" He went more far than he'd never been
before," said Bruno.
"You should never say 'more far,'" Sylvie
corrected him : " you should say 'farther' '
" Then oo shouldn't say ' more broth,' when
we're at dinner," Bruno retorted : " oo should
say ' brother ' I "
This time Sylvie evaded an argument by
turning away, and beginning to roll up the
Map. " Lessons are over ! " she proclaimed
in her sweetest tones.
" And has there been no crying over them ? "
I enquired. " Little boys always cry over their
lessons, don't they ? "
i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 17
" I never cries after twelve o'clock," said
Bruno: "'cause then it's getting so near to
dinner-time."
" Sometimes, in the morning," Sylvie said in
a low voice ; " when it's Geography-day, and
when he's been disobe
" What a fellow you are to talk, Sylvie ! "
Bruno hastily interposed. " Doos oo think
the world was made for oo to talk in ? "
" Why, where would you have me talk,
then ? " Sylvie said, evidently quite ready for
an argument.
But Bruno answered resolutely. " I'm not
going to argue about it, 'cause it's getting late,
and there wo'n't be time but oo's as 'ong as
ever oo can be ! " And he rubbed the back of
his hand across his eyes, in which tears were
beginning to glitter.
Sylvie s eyes filled with tears in a moment.
" I didn't mean it, Bruno, darling /" she whis-
pered ; and the rest of the argument was lost
'amid the tangles of Nea^ra's hair,' while the
two disputants hugged and kissed each other.
But this new form of argument was brought
to a sudden end by a flash of lightning, which
c
i8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
was closely followed by a peal of thunder, and
by a torrent of rain-drops, which came hissing
and spitting, almost like live creatures, through
the leaves of the tree that sheltered us.
" Why, it's raining cats and dogs ! " I said.
"And all the dogs has come down first"
said Bruno : " there's nothing but cats coming
down now ! "
In another minute the pattering ceased, as
suddenly as it had begun. I stepped out from
under the tree, and found that the storm was
over ; but I looked in vain, on my return, for
my tiny companions. They had vanished with
the storm, and there was nothing for it but to
make the best of my way home.
On the table lay, awaiting my return, an
envelope of that peculiar yellow tint which
always announces a telegram, and which must
be, in the memories of so many of us, in-
separably linked with some great and sudden
sorrow something that has cast a shadow,
never in this world to be wholly lifted off, on
the brightness of Life. No doubt it has also
heralded for many of us some sudden
news of joy ; but this, I think, is less common :
I] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 19
human life seems, on the whole, to contain
more of sorrow than of joy. And yet the
world goes on. Who knows why ?
This time, however, there was no shock of
sorrow to be faced : in fact, the few words it
contained (" Could not bring myself to write.
Come soon. Always welcome. A letter follows
this. Arthur.") seemed so like Arthur himself
speaking, that it gave me quite a thrill of
pleasure, and I at once began the preparations
needed for the journey.
CHAPTER II.
LOVE'S CURFEW.
" FAYFIELD Junction ! Change for Elveston!"
What subtle memory could there be, linked
to these commonplace words, that caused such
a flood of happy thoughts to fill my brain ? I
dismounted from the carriage in a state of
joyful excitement for which I could not at first
account. True, I had taken this very journey,
and at the same hour of the day, six months
ago ; but many things had happened since
then, and an old man's memory has but a
slender hold on recent events : I sought ' the
missing link ' in vain. Suddenly I caught
sight of a bench the only one provided on
II] LOVE'S CURFEW. 21
the cheerless platform with a lady seated
on it, and the whole forgotten scene flashed
upon me as vividly as if it were happening
over again.
"Yes," I thought. " This bare platform is,
for me, rich with the memory of a dear friend !
She was sitting on that very bench, and in-
vited me to share it, with some quotation from
Shakespeare 1 forget what. I'll try the
Earl's plan for the Dramatisation of Life, and
fancy that figure to be Lady Muriel ; and I
won't undeceive myself too soon ! "
So I strolled along the platform, resolutely
' making-believe ' (as children say) that the
casual passenger, seated on that bench, was
the Lady Muriel I remembered so well. She
was facing away from me, which aided the
elaborate cheatery I was practising on myself :
but, though I was careful, in passing the spot,
to look the other way, in order to prolong the
pleasant illusion, it was inevitable that, when I
turned to walk back again, I should see who
it was. It was Lady Muriel herself!
The whole scene now returned vividly to
my memory ; and, to make this repetition of
22 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED
it stranger still, there was the same old man,
whom I remembered seeing so roughly ordered
off, by the Station- Master, to make room for
his titled passenger. The same, but ' with a
difference ' : no longer tottering feebly along
the platform, but actually seated at Lady
Muriel's side, and in conversation with her !
" Yes, put it in your purse," she was saying,
" and remember you're to spend it all for
Minnie. And mind you bring her something
nice, that'll do her real good ! And give her
n] LOVE'S CURFEW. 23
my love ! " So intent was she on saying these
words, that, although the sound of my footstep
had made her lift her head and look at me,
she did not at first recognise me.
I raised my hat as I approached, and then
there flashed across her face a genuine look
of joy, which so exactly recalled the sweet face
of Sylvie, when last we met in Kensington
Gardens, that I felt quite bewildered.
Rather than disturb the poor old man at her
side, she rose from her seat, and joined me in
my walk up and down the platform, and for a
minute or two our conversation was as utterly
trivial and commonplace as if we were merely
two casual guests in a London drawing-room.
Each of us seemed to shrink, just at first,
from touching on the deeper interests which
linked our lives together.
The Elveston train had drawn up at the
platform, while we talked ; and, in obedience
to the Station-Master's obsequious hint of
" This way, my Lady ! Time's up ! ", we were
making the best of our way towards the end
which contained the sole first-class carriage,
and were just passing the now-empty bench,
24 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
when Lady Muriel noticed, lying on it, the
purse in which her gift had just been so
carefully bestowed, the owner of which, all
unconscious of his loss, was being helped into
a carriage at the other end of the train. She
pounced on it instantly. " Poor old man ! "
she cried. " He mustn't go off, and think
he's lost it ! "
" Let me run with it ! I can go quicker
than you ! " I said. But she was already
half-way down the platform, flying (' running '
is much too mundane a word for such fairy-
like motion) at a pace that left all possible
efforts of mine hopelessly in the rear.
She was back again before I had well com-
pleted my audacious boast of speed in running,
and was saying, quite demurely, as we entered
our carriage, " and you really think you could
have done it quicker ? "
" No indeed ! " I replied. " I plead ' Guilty '
of gross exaggeration, and throw myself on the
mercy of the Court ! "
" The Court will overlook it for this
once ! " Then her manner suddenly changed
from playfulness to an anxious gravity.
n] LOVE'S CURFEW. 25
" You are not looking your best ! " she said
with an anxious glance. "In fact, I think you
look more of an invalid than when you left us.
I very much doubt if London agrees with you ? "
"It may be the London air," I said, " or it
may be the hard work or my rather lonely
life : anyhow, I've not been feeling very well,
lately. But Elveston will soon set me up
again. Arthur's prescription he's my doctor,
you know, and I heard from him this morn-
ing is ' plenty of ozone, and new milk, and
pleasant society : ! "
" Pleasant society ? " said Lady Muriel, with
a pretty make-believe of considering the
question. " Well, really I don't know where
we can find that for you ! We have so few
neighbours. But new milk we can manage. Do
get it of my old friend Mrs. Hunter, up there,
on the hill-side. You may rely upon the
quality. And her little Bessie comes to school
every day, and passes your lodgings. So it
would be very easy to send it."
" I'll follow your advice, with pleasure," I
said ; " and I'll go and arrange about it to-
morrow. I know Arthur will want a walk."
26 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" You'll find it quite an easy walk under
three miles, I think."
" Well, now that we've settled that point, let
me retort your own remark upon yourself. I
don't think you re looking quite your best ! "
" I daresay not," she replied in a low voice ;
and a sudden shadow seemed to overspread her
face. " I've had some troubles lately. It's a
matter about which I've been long wishing to
consult you, but I couldn't easily write about
it. I'm so glad to have this opportunity ! "
" Do you think," she began again, after a
minute's silence, and with a visible embarrass-
ment of manner most unusual in her, " that
a promise, deliberately and solemnly given, is
always binding except, of course, where its
fulfilment would involve some actual sin ? "
" I ca'n't think of any other exception at this
moment," I said. " That branch of casuistry
is usually, I believe, treated as a question of
truth and untruth
"Surely that is the principle?" she eagerly
interrupted. " I always thought the Bible-
teaching about it consisted of such texts as
' lie not one to another ' ? "
ll] LOVE'S CURFEW. 27
" I have thought about that point," I re-
plied ; " and it seems to me that the essence of
lying\s the intention of deceiving. If you give
a promise, fully intending to fulfil it, you are
certainly acting truthfully then; and, if you
afterwards break it, that does not involve
any deception. I cannot call it untruthful"
Another pause of silence ensued. Lady
Muriel's face was hard to read : she looked
pleased, I thought, but also puzzled ; and I
felt curious to know whether her question
had, as I began to suspect, some bearing on
the breaking off of her engagement with
Captain (now Major) Lindon.
" You have relieved me from a great fear,"
she said ; " but the thing is of course wrong,
somehow. What texts would you quote, to
prove it wrong ? "
"Any that enforce the payment of debts.
If A promises something to B, B has a claim
upon A. And A's sin, if he breaks his
promise, seems to me more analogous to
stealing than to lying."
" It's a new way of looking at it to me,"
she said ; "but it seems a true way, also.
28 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
However, I won't deal in generalities, with
an old friend like you ! For we are old
friends, somehow. Do you know, I think we
began as old friends ? " she said with a play-
fulness of tone that ill accorded with the tears
that glistened in her eyes.
" Thank you very much for saying so," I
replied. " I like to think of you as an old
friend," ( <{ though you don't look it ! " would
have been the almost necessary sequence, with
any other lady ; but she and I seemed to have
long passed out of the time when compliments,
or any such trivialities, were possible.)
Here the train paused at a station, where
two or three passengers entered the carriage ;
so no more was said till we had reached our
journey's end.
On our arrival at Elveston, she readily
adopted my suggestion that we should walk
up together ; so, as soon as our luggage had
been duly taken charge of hers by the ser-
vant who met her at the station, and mine by
one of the porters we set out together along
the familiar lanes, now linked in my memory
with so many delightful associations. Lady
n] LOVE'S CURFEW. 29
Muriel at once recommenced the conversation
at the point where it had been interrupted.
"You knew of my engagement to my
cousin Eric. Did you also hear
" Yes," I interrupted, anxious to spare her
the pain of giving any details. " I heard it
had all come to an end."
" I would like to tell you how it happened,"
she said ; "as that is the very point I want
your advice about. I had long realised that
we were not in sympathy in religious belief.
His ideas of Christianity are very shadowy;
and even as to the existence of a God he lives
in a sort of dreamland. But it has not affected
his life ! I feel sure, now, that the most abso-
lute Atheist may be leading, though walking
blindfold, a pure and noble life. And if you
knew half the good deeds " she broke off
suddenly, and turned away her head.
" I entirely agree with you," I said. " And
have we not our Saviour's own promise that
such a life shall surely lead to the light ? "
" Yes, I know it," she said in a broken voice,
still keeping her head turned away. "And so
I told him. He said he would believe, for my
30 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED
sake, if he could. And he wished, for my sake,
he could see things as I did. But that is all
wrong ! " she went on passionately. " God
cannot approve such low motives as that !
Still it was not / that broke it off. I knew
he loved me ; and I had promised ; and
"Then it was he that broke it off?"
" He released me unconditionally." She
faced me again now, having quite recovered
her usual calmness of manner.
" Then what difficulty remains ? "
" It is this, that I don't believe he did it of
his own free will. Now, supposing he did it
against his will, merely to satisfy my scruples,
would not his claim on me remain just as
strong as ever ? And would not my promise
be as binding as ever ? My father says
' no ' ; but I ca'n't help fearing he is biased
by his love for me. And I've asked no one
else. I have many friends friends for the
bright sunny weather ; not friends for the
clouds and storms of life ; not old friends
like you ! "
" Let me think a little," I said : and for
some minutes we walked on in silence, while
ii] LOVE'S CURFEW. 31
pained to the heart at seeing the bitter trial
that had come upon this pure and gentle soul,
I strove in vain to see my way through the
tangled skein of conflicting motives.
"If she loves him truly," (I seemed at last
to grasp the clue to the problem) " is not that,
for her, the voice of God ? May she not hope
that she is sent to him, even as Ananias was
sent to Saul in his blindness, that he may re-
ceive his sight ? " Once more I seemed to
hear Arthur whispering " What knowest thou,
O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband ? "
and I broke the silence with the words " If
you still love him truly
"I do not!" she hastily interrupted. "At
least not in that way. I believe I loved him
when I promised ; but I was very young : it
is % hard to know. But, whatever the feeling
was, it is dead now. The motive on his side
is Love : on mine it is Duty ! "
Again there was a long silence. The whole
skein of thought was tangled worse than ever.
This time she broke the silence. " Don't mis-
understand me ! " she said. " When I said my
heart was not his, I did not mean it was any
32 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
one else's ! At present I feel bound to him ;
and, till I know I am absolutely free, in the
sight of God, to love any other than him,
I'll never even think of any one else in
that way, I mean. I would die sooner ! " I
had never imagined my gentle friend capable
of such passionate utterances.
I ventured on no further remark until we
had nearly arrived at the Hall-gate ; but, the
longer I reflected, the clearer it became
to me that no call of Duty demanded the
sacrifice possibly of the happiness of a life
which she seemed ready to make. I tried
to make this clear to her also, adding some
warnings on the dangers that surely awaited
a union in which mutual love was wanting.
" The only argument for it, worth consider-
ing," I said in conclusion, " seems to be his
supposed reluctance in releasing you from
your promise. I have tried to give to that
argument its full weight, and my conclusion
is that it does not affect the rights of the
case, or invalidate the release he has given
you. My belief is that you are entirely free
to act as now seems right."
II] LOVE'S CURFEW. 33
" I am very grateful to you," she said
earnestly. " Believe it, please ! I ca'n't put
it into proper words ! " and the subject was
dropped by mutual consent : and I only
learned, long afterwards, that our discussion
had really served to dispel the doubts that
had harassed her so long.
We parted at the Hall-gate, and I found
Arthur eagerly awaiting my arrival ; and, before
we parted for the night, I had heard the whole
story how he had put off his journey from
day to day, feeling that he could not go away
from the place till his fate had been irrevocably
settled by the wedding taking place : how the
preparations for the wedding, and the excite-
ment in the neighbourhood, had suddenly come
to an end, and he had learned (from Major
Lindon, who called to wish him good-bye) that
the engagement had been broken off by mutual
consent : how he had instantly abandoned all
his plans for going abroad, and had decided to
stay on at Elveston, for a year or two at any
rate, till his newly-awakened hopes should
prove true or false ; and how, since that
memorable day, he had avoided all meetings
D
34 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
with Lady Muriel, fearing to betray his
feelings before he had had any sufficient
evidence as to how she regarded him. " But
it is nearly six weeks since all that happened,"
he said in conclusion, " and we can meet in the
ordinary way, now, with no need for any painful
allusions. I would have written to tell you all
this : only I kept hoping from day to day,
that that there would be more to tell ! "
" And how should there be more, you foolish
fellow," I fondly urged, " if you never even go
near her ? Do you expect the offer to come
from her ? "
Arthur was betrayed into a smile. " No,"
he said, " I hardly expect that. But I'm a
desperate coward. There's no doubt about it ! "
" And what reasons have you heard of for
breaking off the engagement ? "
"A good many," Arthur replied, and pro-
ceeded to count them on his fingers. "First, it
was found that she was dying of something ;
so he broke it off. Then it was found that he
was dying of some other thing ; so she broke
it off. Then the Major turned out to be a
confirmed gamester ; so the Earl broke it off.
n] LOVE'S CURFEW. 35
Then the Earl insulted him ; so the Major
broke it off. It got a good deal broken off, all
things considered ! "
" You have all this on the very best authority,
of course ? "
" Oh, certainly ! And communicated in the
strictest confidence ! Whatever defects Elves-
ton society suffers from, want of information
isn't one of them ! "
"Nor reticence, either, it seems. But, se-
riously, do you know the real reason ? "
" No, I'm quite in the dark."
I did not feel that I had any right to
enlighten him ; so I changed the subject, to the
less engrossing one of " new milk," and we
agreed that I should walk over, next day, to
Hunter's farm, Arthur undertaking to set me
part of the way, after which he had to return
to keep a business-engagement.
D 2
CHAPTER III.
STREAKS OF DAWN.
NEXT day proved warm and sunny, and we
started early, to enjoy the luxury of a good long
chat before he would be obliged to leave me.
" This neighbourhood has more than its due
proportion of the very poor," I remarked, as
we passed a group of hovels, too dilapidated
to deserve the name of "cottages."
" But the few rich," Arthur replied, " give
more than their due proportion of help in
charity. So the balance is kept."
" I suppose the Earl does a good deal ? "
" He gives liberally ; but he has not the
health or strength to do more. Lady Muriel
in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 37
does more in the way of school-teaching and
cottage-visiting than she would like me to
reveal."
" Then she, at least, is not one of the ' idle
mouths ' one so often meets with among the
upper classes. I have sometimes thought they
would have a hard time of it, if suddenly
called on to give their raison detre, and to
show cause why they should be allowed to
live any longer ! "
" The whole subject," said Arthur, " of what
we may call 'idle mouths' (I mean persons
who absorb some of the material wealth of a
community -in the form of food, clothes, and
so on without contributing its equivalent in
the form of productive labour] is a compli-
cated one, no doubt. I've tried to think it
out. And it seemed to me that the simplest
form of the problem, to start with, is a com-
munity without money, who buy and sell by
barter only ; and it makes it yet simpler to
suppose the food and other things to be capable
of keeping for many years without spoiling."
" Yours is an excellent plan," I said. " What
is your solution of the problem ? "
38 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"The commonest type of 'idle mouths,''
said Arthur, "is no doubt due to money being
left by parents to their own children. So I
imagined a man either exceptionally clever,
or exceptionally strong and industrious
who had contributed so much valuable labour
to the needs of the community that its equiv-
alent, in clothes, &c., was (say) five times as
much as he needed for himself. We cannot
deny his absolute right to give the superfluous
wealth as he chooses. So, if he leaves four
children behind him (say two sons and two
daughters), with enough of all the necessaries
of life to last them a life-time, I cannot see
that the community is in any way wronged if
they choose to do nothing in life but to ' eat,
drink, and be merry.' Most certainly, the
community could not fairly say, in reference to
them, ' if a man will not work, neither let htm
eat." Their reply would be crushing. 'The
labour has already been done, which is a fair
equivalent for the food we are eating ; and
you have had the benefit of it. On what
principle of justice can you demand two quotas
of work for one quota of food ? '
in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 39
" Yet surely," I said, " there is something
wrong somewhere, if these four people are well
able to do useful work, and if that work is
actually needed by the community, and they
elect to sit idle ? "
" I think there is" said Arthur : "but it
seems to me to arise from a Law of God-
that every one shall do as much as he can
to help others and not from any rights, on
the part of the community, to exact labour as
an equivalent for food that has already been
fairly earned."
" I suppose the second form of the problem
is where the ' idle mouths ' possess money in-
stead of material wealth ? "
"Yes," replied Arthur: "and I think the
simplest case is that of paper- money. Gold
is itself a form of material wealth ; but a bank-
note is merely a promise to hand over so
much material wealth when called upon to do
so. The father of these four 'idle mouths,'
had done (let us say) five thousand pounds'
worth of useful work for the community. In
return for this, the community had given him
what amounted to a written promise to hand
40 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
over, whenever called upon to do so, five
thousand pounds' worth of food, &c. Then,
if he only uses one thousand pounds' worth
himself, and leaves the rest of the notes to his
children, surely they have a full right to pre-
sent these written promises, and to say ' hand
over the food, for which the equivalent labour
has been already done.' Now I think this
case well worth stating, publicly and clearly.
I should like to drive it into the heads of
those Socialists who are priming our ignorant
paupers with such sentiments as ' Look at
them bloated haristocrats ! Doing not a stroke
o' work for theirselves, and living on the sweat
of our brows ! ' I should like to force them
to see that the money, which those ' haristo-
crats' are spending, represents so much labour
already done for the community, and whose
equivalent, in material wealth, is due from
the community"
" Might not the Socialists reply ' Much of
this money does not represent honest labour
at all. If you could trace it back, from owner
to owner, though you might begin with several
legitimate steps, such as gift, or bequeathing
in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 41
by will, or ' value received,' you would soon
reach an owner who had no moral right to
it, but had got it by fraud or other crimes ;
and of course his successors in the line would
have no better right to it than he had."
" No doubt, no doubt," Arthur replied.
" But surely that involves the logical fallacy
of proving too much ? It is quite as applic-
able to material wealth, as it is to money. If
we once begin to go back beyond the fact
that the present owner of certain property
came by it honestly, and to ask whether any
previous owner, in past ages, got it by fraud,
would any property be secure ? "
After a minute's thought, I felt obliged to
admit the truth of this.
" My general conclusion," Arthur continued,
" from the mere standpoint of human rights,
man against man, was this that if some
wealthy ' idle mouth,' who has come by his
money in a lawful way, even though not one
atom of the labour it represents has been his
own doing, chooses to spend it on his own
needs, without contributing any labour to the
community from whom he buys his food and
42 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
clothes, that community has no right to inter-
fere with him. But it's quite another thing,
when we come to consider' the divine law.
Measured by that standard, such a man is
undoubtedly doing wrong, if he fails to use,
for the good of those in need, the strength
or the skill, that God has given him. That
strength and skill do not belong to the com-
munity, to be paid to them as a debt: they
do not belong to the man himself, to be used
for his own enjoyment : they do belong to God,
to be used according to His will ; and we are
not left in doubt as to what that will is. ' Do
good, and lend, hoping for nothing again' '
"Anyhow," I said, "an 'idle mouth' very
often gives away a great deal in charity."
"In so-called 'charity,'" he corrected me.
" Excuse me if I seem to speak uncharitably.
I would not dream of applying the term to
any individztal. But I would say, generally,
that a man who gratifies every fancy that
occurs to him denying himself in nothing
and merely gives to the poor some part, or
even all, of his superfluous wealth, is only
deceiving himself if he calls it charity.'"
ill] STREAKS OF DAWN. 43
" But, even in giving away superfluous
wealth, he may be denying himself the miser's
pleasure in hoarding ? "
" I grant you that, gladly," said Arthur.
"Given that he kas that morbid craving, he
is doing a good deed in restraining it."
" But, even in spending on himself" I per-
sisted, " our typical rich man often does good,
by employing people who would otherwise be
out of work : and that is often better than
pauperising them by giving the money."
"I'm glad you've said that!" said Arthur.
" I would not like to quit the subject without
exposing the two fallacies of that statement
which have gone so long uncontradicted that
Society now accepts it as an axiom ! "
"What are they?" I said. "I don't even
see one, myself."
" One is merely the fallacy of ambiguity
the assumption that ' doing good' (that is, bene-
fiting somebody) is necessarily a good thing to
do (that is, a right thing). The other is the
assumption that, if one of two specified acts
is better than another, it is necessarily a good
act in itself. I should like to call this the
44 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
fallacy of comparison meaning that it as-
sumes that what is comparatively good is
therefore positively good."
" Then what is your test of a good act ? "
" That it shall be our best'' Arthur con-
fidently replied. " And even then ' we are
unprofitable servants.' But let me illustrate
the two fallacies. Nothing illustrates a fal-
lacy so well as an extreme case, which fairly
comes under it. Suppose I find two children
drowning in a pond. I rush in, and save one
of the children, and then walk away, leaving
the other to drown. Clearly I have 'done good,'
in saving a child's life ? But . Again,
supposing I meet an inoffensive stranger, and
knock him down, and walk on. Clearly that
is 'better' than if I had proceeded to jump
upon him and break his ribs ? But
"Those ' buts ' are quite unanswerable," I
said. " But I should like an instance from
real life."
" Well, let us take one of those abomina-
tions of modern Society, a Charity- Bazaar.
It's an interesting question to think out how
much of the money, that reaches the object in
ill] STREAKS OF DAWN. 45
view, is genuine charity ; and whether even
that is spent in the best way. But the subject
needs regular classification, and analysis, to
understand it properly."
" I should be glad to have it analysed," I
said : "it has often puzzled me."
"Well, if I am really not boring you. Let
us suppose our Charity- Bazaar to have been
organised to aid the funds of some Hospital :
and that A, B, C give their services in making
articles to sell, and in acting as salesmen,
while X, Y, Z buy the articles, and the money
so paid goes to the Hospital.
" There are two distinct species of such
Bazaars : one, where the payment exacted is
merely the market-value of the goods supplied,
that is, exactly what you would have to pay at
a shop : the other, where fancy-prices are
asked. We must take these separately.
"First, the 'market-value' case. Here A,
B, C are exactly in the same position as ordinary
shopkeepers ; the only difference being that
they give the proceeds to the Hospital. Prac-
tically, they are giving their skilled labour for
the benefit of the Hospital. This seems to
46 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
me to be genuine charity. And I don't see
how they could use it better. But X, Y, Z,
are exactly in the same position as any
ordinary purchasers of goods. To talk of
' charity ' in connection with their share of the
business, is sheer nonsense. Yet they are
very likely to do so.
"Secondly, the case of 'fancy-prices.' Here
I think the simplest plan is to divide the pay-
ment into two parts, the ' market-value ' and
the excess over that. The ' market-value '
part is on the same footing as in the first case :
the excess is all we have to consider. Well,
A, B, C do not earn it ; so we may put them
out of the question : it is a gift, from X, Y, Z,
to the Hospital. And my opinion is that it is
not given in the best way : far better buy what
they choose to buy, and give what they choose
to give, as two separate transactions : then
there is some chance that their motive in giving
may be real charity, instead of a mixed
motive half charity, half self-pleasing. ' The
trail of the serpent is over it all.' And there-
fore it is that I hold all such spurious
' Charities ' in utter abomination ! " He ended
in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 47
with unusual energy, and savagely beheaded,
with his stick, a tall thistle at the road-side,
behind which I was startled to see Sylvie
and Bruno standing. I caught at his arm,
but too late to stop him. Whether the
stick reached them, or not, I could not feel
sure : at any rate they took not the smallest
notice of it, but smiled gaily, and nodded to
me ; and I saw at once that they were only
visible to me : the ' eerie ' influence had not
reached to Arthur.
"Why did you try to save it?" he said.
" Thafs not the wheedling Secretary of a
Charity-Bazaar! I only wish it were!" he
added grimly.
" Doos oo know, that stick went right froo
my head ! " said Bruno. (They had run round
to me by this time, and each had secured a
hand.) " Just under my chin ! I are glad I
aren't a thistle ! "
" Well, we've threshed that subject out,
anyhow !" Arthur resumed. "I'm afraid I've
been talking too much, for your patience and
for my strength. I must be turning soon.
This is about the end of my tether."
48 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Take, O boatman, thrice thy fee ;
Take, I give it willingly ;
For, invisible to thee,
Spirits twain Jiave crossed ivitJi me ! "
I quoted, involuntarily.
" For utterly inappropriate and irrelevant
quotations," laughed Arthur, " you are 'ekalled
by few, and excelled by none ' ! " And we
strolled on.
As we passed the head of the lane that led
down to the beach, I noticed a single figure,
moving slowly along it, seawards. She was a
good way off, and had her back to us : but it
was Lady Muriel, unmistakably. Knowing
that Arthur had not seen her, as he had been
looking, in the other direction, at a gathering
rain-cloud, I made no remark, but tried to
think of some plausible pretext for sending
him back by the sea.
The opportunity instantly presented itself.
" I'm getting tired," he said. " I don't think
it would be prudent to go further. I had
better turn here.
I turned with him, for a few steps, and as
we again approached the head of the lane, I
in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 49
said, as carelessly as I could, " Don't go back
by the road. It's too hot and dusty. Down
this lane, and along the beach, is nearly as
short ; and you'll get a breeze off the sea."
"Yes, I think I will," Arthur began ; but at
that moment we came into sight of Lady
Muriel, and he checked himself. " No, it's
too far round. Yet it certainly would be
cooler He stood, hesitating, looking
first one way and then the other a melan-
choly picture of utter infirmity of purpose !
How long this humiliating scene would have
continued, if / had been the only external
influence, it is impossible to say ; for at this
moment Sylvie, with a swift decision worthy
of Napoleon himself, took the matter into
her own hands. " You go and drive her, up
this way," she said to Bruno. " I'll get him
along ! " And she took hold of the stick that
Arthur was carrying, and gently pulled him
down the lane.
He was totally unconscious that any will
but his own was acting on the stick, and
appeared to think it had taken a horizontal
position simply because he was pointing with
E
50 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
it. "Are not those orchises under the hedge
there ? " he said. " I think that decides me.
I'll gather some as I go along."
Meanwhile Bruno had run on beyond Lady
Muriel, and, with much jumping about and shout-
ing (shouts audible to no one but Sylvie and
myself), much as if he were driving sheep, he
managed to turn her round and make her
ill] STREAKS OF DAWN. 51
walk, with eyes demurely cast upon the ground,
in our direction.
The victory was ours ! And, since it was
evident that the lovers, thus urged together,
must meet in another minute, I turned and
walked on, hoping that Sylvie and Bruno
would follow my example, as I felt sure that
the fewer the spectators the better it would be
for Arthur and his good angel.
"And what sort of meeting was it?" I
wondered, as I paced dreamily on.
CHAPTER IV.
T^E DOG-KING.
" THEY shocked hands," said Bruno, who
was trotting at my side, in answer to the un-
spoken question.
" And they looked ever so pleased ! " Sylvie
added from the other side.
"Well, we must get on, now, as quick as we
can," I said. "If only I knew the best way to
Hunter's farm ! "
" They'll be sure to know in this cottage,"
said Sylvie.
" Yes, I suppose they will. Bruno, would
you run in and ask ? "
iv] THE DOG-KING. 53
Sylvie stopped him, laughingly, as he ran off.
"Wait a minute," she said. " I must make you
visible first, you know."
"And audible too, I suppose ? " I said, as she
took the jewel, that hung round her neck, and
waved it over his head, and touched his eyes
and lips with it.
" Yes," said Sylvie : " and once, do you know,
I made him audible, and forgot to make him
visible ! And he went to buy some sweeties in
a shop. And the man was so frightened ! A
voice seemed to come out of the air, ' Please, I
want two ounces of barley-sugar drops ! ' And
a shilling came bang down upon the counter !
And the man said ' I ca'n't see you ! ' And
Bruno said ' It doosn't sinnify seeing me, so
long as oo can see the shilling!' But the man
said he never sold barley-sugar drops to people
he couldn't see. So we had to Now, Bruno,
you're ready ! " And away he trotted.
Sylvie spent the time, while we were waiting
for him, in making herself visible also. '' It's
rather awkward, you know," she explained to
me, "when we meet people, and they can see
one of us, and ca'n't see the other ! "
54 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
In a minute or two Bruno returned, looking
rather disconsolate. " He'd got friends with
him, and he were cross ! " he said. " He asked
me who I were. And I said ' I'm Bruno : who
is these peoples ? ' And he said ' One's my
half-brother, and t'other's my half-sister : and I
don't want no more company ! Go along with
yer ! ' And I said 'I ca'n't go along wizout
mine self!' And I said ' Oo shouldn't have bits
of peoples lying about like that! It's welly
untidy ! ' And he said ' Oh, don't talk to me ! '
And he pushted me outside ! And he shutted
the door ! "
" And you never asked where Hunter's farm
was ? " queried Sylvie.
" Hadn't room for any questions," said
Bruno. " The room were so crowded."
" Three people couldrit crowd a room," said
Sylvie.
"They did, though," Bruno persisted. "He
crowded it most. He's such a welly thick
man so as oo couldn't knock him down."
I failed to see the drift of Bruno's argument.
" Surely anybody could be knocked down," I
said : "thick or thin wouldn't matter."
iv] THE DOG-KING. 55
" Oo couldn't knock him down," said Bruno.
" He's more wider than he's high : so, when
he's lying down, he's more higher than when
he's standing : so a-course oo couldn't knock
him down ! "
" Here's another cottage," I said: "/Y/ask
the way, this time."
There was no need to go in, this time, as the
woman was standing in the doorway, with a
baby in her arms, talking to a respectably
dressed man a farmer, as I guessed who
seemed to be on his way to the town.
and when there's drink to be had," he
was saying, " he's just the worst o' the lot, is
your Willie. So they tell me. He gets fairly
mad wi' it ! "
"I'd have given 'em the lie to their faces, a
twelvemonth back ! " the woman said in a
broken voice. " But a' canna noo ! A' canna
noo ! " She checked herself, on catching sight
of us, and hastily retreated into the house,
shutting the door after her.
" Perhaps you can tell me where Hunter's
farm is ? " I said to the man, as he turned away
from the house.
56 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" I can that, Sir ! " he replied with a smile.
" I'm John Hunter hissel, at your sarvice.
It's nobbut half a mile further the only
house in sight, when you get round bend o' the
road yonder. You'll find my good woman
within, if so be you've business wi' her. Or
mebbe I'll do as well ? "
" Thanks," I said. " I want to order some
milk. Perhaps I had better arrange it with
your wife ? "
"Aye," said the man. "She minds all that.
Good day t'ye, Master and to your bonnie
childer, as well ! " And he trudged on.
" He should have said ' child', not ' childer ' ',"
said Bruno. " Sylvie's not a childer ! "
" He meant both of us," said Sylvie.
" No, he didn't ! " Bruno persisted. " 'cause
he said ' bonnie ', oo know ! "
"Well, at any rate he looked at us both,"
Sylvie maintained.
" Well, then he must have seen we're not
both bonnie!" Bruno retorted. " A-course I'm
much uglier than oo ! Didn't he mean Sylvie,
Mister Sir ? " he shouted over his shoulder, as
he ran off.
iv] THE DOG-KING. 57
But there was no use in replying, as he had
already vanished round the bend of the road.
When we overtook him he was climbing a
gate, and was gazing earnestly into the field,
where a horse, a cow, and a kid were browsing
amicably together. " For its father, a Horse"
he murmured to himself. " For its mother, a
Cow. For their dear little child, a little Goat,
is the most curiousest thing I ever seen in my
world ! "
"Bruno's World!" I pondered. "Yes, I
suppose every child has a world of his own
and every man, too, for the matter of that.
I wonder if that's the cause for all the mis-
understanding there is in Life ? "
" That must be Hunter's farm ! " said Sylvie,
pointing to a house on the brow of the hill, led
up to by a cart-road. " There's no other farm
in sight, this way ; and you said we must be
nearly there by this time."
I had thought it, while Bruno was climbing
the gate, but I couldn't remember having said
it. However, Sylvie was evidently in the
right. " Get down, Bruno," I said, " and open
the gate for us."
$8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"It's a good thing we's with oo, isnt it,
Mister Sir ? " said Bruno, as we entered the
field. " That big dog might have bited oo, if
oo'd been alone ! Oo needn't be /lightened
of it ! " he whispered, clinging tight to my hand
to encourage me. "It aren't fierce ! "
" Fierce ! " Sylvie scornfully echoed, as the
dog a magnificent Newfoundland that had
come galloping down the field to meet us,
began curveting round us, in gambols full of
graceful beauty, and welcoming us with short
joyful barks. " Fierce ! Why, it's as gentle
as a lamb ! It's why, Bruno, don't you
know it ? It's
" So it are ! " cried Bruno, rushing forwards
and throwing his arms round its neck. " Oh,
you dear dog !" And.it seemed as if the two
children would never have done hugging and
stroking it.
" And how ever did he get here? " said Bruno.
" Ask him, Sylvie. I doosn't know how."
And then began an eager talk in Doggee,
which of course was lost upon me ; and I could
only guess, when the beautiful creature, with
a sly glance at me, whispered something in
iv] THE DOG-KING. 59
Sylvie's ear, that / was now the subject of con-
versation. Sylvie looked round laughingly.
"He asked me who you are," she explained.
"And I said 'He's out friend' And he said
' What's his name ? ' And I said ' It's Mister
Sir: And he said 'Bosh!'"
" What is ' Bosh ! ' in Doggee ? " I enquired.
" It's the same as in English," said Sylvie.
" Only, when a dog says it, it's a sort of a
whisper, that's half a cough and half a bark.
Nero, say 'Bosh!'"
And Nero, who had now begun gamboling
round us again, said " Bosh ! " several times ;
and I found that Sylvie's description of the
sound was perfectly accurate.
" I wonder what's behind this long wall ? "
I said, as we walked on.
" It's the Orchard" Sylvie replied, after a
consultation with Nero. " See, there's a boy
getting down off the wall, at that far corner.
And now he's running away across the field. I
do believe he's been stealing the apples ! "
Bruno set off after him, but returned to us in
a few moments, as he had evidently no chance
of overtaking the young rascal.
60 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" I couldn't catch him! " he said. " Iwiss
I'd started a little sooner. His pockets was
full of apples ! "
The Dog-King looked up at Sylvie, and
said something in Doggee.
" Why, of course you. can ! " Sylvie exclaimed.
"How stupid not to think of it ! Nero\\ hold
him for us, Bruno ! But I'd better make him
invisible, first." And she hastily got out the
Magic Jewel, and began waving it over Nero's
head, and down along his back.
" That'll do ! " cried Bruno, impatiently.
"After him, good Doggie!"
" Oh, Bruno ! " Sylvie exclaimed reproach-
fully. " You shouldn't have sent him off so
quick ! I hadn't done the tail ! "
Meanwhile Nero was coursing like a grey-
hound down the field : so at least I concluded
from all / could see of him the long feathery
tail, which floated like a meteor through the
air and in a very few seconds he had come
up with the little thief.
" He's got him safe, by one foot ! " cried
Sylvie, who was eagerly watching the chase.
14 Now there's no hurry, Bruno ! "
iv] THE DOG-KING. 61
So we walked, quite leisurely, down the
field, to where the frightened lad stood. A
more curious sight I had seldom seen, in all
my ' eerie ' experiences. Every bit of him was
in violent action, except the left foot, which was
apparently glued to the ground there being
nothing visibly holding it : while, at some little
distance, the long feathery tail was waving
gracefully from side to side, showing that Nero,
at least, regarded the whole affair as nothing
but a magnificent game of play.
" What's the matter with you ? " I said, as
gravely as I could.
" Got the crahmp in me ahnkle ! " the thief
groaned in reply. " An' me fut's gone to
sleep ! " And he began to blubber aloud.
" Now, look here ! " Bruno said in a com-
manding tone, getting in front of him. " Oo've
got to give up those apples ! "
The lad glanced at me, but didn't seem
to reckon my interference as worth anything.
Then he glanced at Sylvie : she clearly didn't
count for very much, either. Then he took
courage. " It'll take a better man than any of
yer to get 'em ! " he retorted defiantly.
62 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
iv] THE DOG-KING. 63
Sylvie stooped and patted the invisible Nero.
" A little tighter ! " she whispered. And a sharp
yell from the ragged boy showed how promptly
the Dog- King had taken the hint.
" What's the matter now?" I said. "Is
your ankle worse ? "
" And it'll get worse, and worse, and worse,''
Bruno solemnly assured him, " till oo gives
up those apples ! "
Apparently the thief was convinced of this
at last, and he sulkily began emptying his
pockets of the apples. The children watched
from a little distance, Bruno dancing with
delight at every fresh yell extracted from
Nero's terrified prisoner.
" That's all," the boy said at last.
"It isrit all ! " cried Bruno. " There's three
more in that pocket ! "
Another hint from Sylvie to the Dog- King
another sharp yell from the thief, now
convicted of lying also and the remaining
three apples were surrendered.
" Let him go, please," Sylvie said in Doggee,
and the lad limped away at a great pace,
stooping now and then to rub the ailing ankle,
64 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
iv] THE DOG-KING. 65
in fear, seemingly, that the ' crahmp ' might
attack it again.
Bruno ran back, with his booty, to the
orchard wall, and pitched the apples over it
one by one. " I's welly afraid some of them's
gone under the wrong trees ! " he panted, on
overtaking us again.
" The wrong trees ! " laughed Sylvie. " Trees
cant do wrong ! There's no such things as
wrong trees ! "
" Then there's no such things as right
trees, neither ! " cried Bruno. And Sylvie gave
up the point.
"Wait a minute, please!" she said to me.
"I must make Nero visible, you know!"
" No, please don't ! " cried Bruno, who had
by this time mounted on the Royal back, and
was twisting the Royal hair into a bridle.
" It'll be such fun to have him like this ! "
"Well, it does look funny," Sylvie admitted,
and led the way to the farm-house, where the
farmer's wife stood, evidently much perplexed
at the weird procession now approaching her.
" It's summat gone wrong wi' my spectacles,
I doubt ! " she murmured, as she took them
66 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
off, and began diligently rubbing them with a
corner of her apron.
Meanwhile Sylvie had hastily pulled Bruno
down from his steed, and had just time to make
His Majesty wholly visible before the spectacles
were resumed.
All was natural, now ; but the good woman
still looked a little uneasy about it. " My
eyesight's getting bad," she said, "but I see
you now, my darlings ! You'll give me a kiss,
wo'n't you ? "
Bruno got behind me, in a moment : however
Sylvie put up her face, to be kissed, as repre-
sentative of both, and we all went in together.
CHAPTER V.
MATILDA JANE.
" COME to me, my little gentleman,'' said
our hostess, lifting Bruno into her lap, "and
tell me everything."
" I ca'n't," said Bruno. " There wouldn't be
time. Besides, I don't know everything."
The good woman looked a little puzzled,
and turned to Sylvie for help. " Does he like
riding ? " she asked.
" Yes, I think so," Sylvie gently replied.
" He's just had a ride on JVero."
" Ah, Nero's a grand dog, isn't he ? Were
you ever outside a horse, my little man ? "
F 2
68 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Always /" Bruno said with great decision.
" Never was inside one. Was oo ? "
Here I thought it well to interpose, and to
mention the business on which we had come,
and so relieved her, for a few minutes, from
Bruno's perplexing questions.
" And those dear children will like a bit of
cake, /'//warrant ! " said the farmer's hospitable
wife, when the business was concluded, as she
opened her cupboard, and brought out a cake.
"And don't you waste the crust, little gentle-
man ! " she added, as she handed a good slice
of it to Bruno. " You know what the poetry-
book says about wilful waste ?"
" No, I dont," said Bruno. " What doos he
say about it ? "
" Tell him, Bessie ! " And the mother looked
down, proudly and lovingly, on a rosy little
maiden, who had just crept shyly into the room,
and was leaning against her knee. " W T hat's
that your poetry-book says about wilful waste ? "
"For wilful waste makes woeful want" Bessie
recited, in an almost inaudible whisper: "and you
may live to say ' How much I wish 1 had the
crust that then I threw away / '
v] MATILDA JANE. 69
" Now try if you can say it, my dear ! For
wilful
"For wifful siimfinoruvver " Bruno be-
gan, readily enough ; and then there came a
dead pause. " Ca'n't remember no more ! "
" Well, what do you learn from it, then ? You
can tell us that, at any rate ? "
Bruno ate a little more cake, and considered :
but the moral did not seem to him to be a very
obvious one.
"Always to Sylvie prompted him in
a whisper.
" Always to ' Bruno softly repeated : and
then, with sudden inspiration, " always to look
where it goes to ! "
" Where what goes to, darling ? "
" Why the crust, a course ! " said Bruno.
"Then, if I lived to say 'How much I wiss
I had the crust ' (and all that), I'd know
where I frew it to ! "
This new interpretation quite puzzled the
good woman. She returned to the subject of
'Bessie.' "Wouldn't you like to see Bessie's
doll, my dears ! Bessie, take the little lady and
gentleman to see Matilda Jane ! "
70 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Bessie's shyness thawed away in a moment.
" Matilda Jane has just woke up," she stated,
confidentially, to Sylvie. " Wo'n't you help
me on with her frock ? Them strings is such
a bother to tie ! "
" I can tie strings," we heard, in Sylvie's
gentle voice, as the two little girls left the room
together. Bruno ignored the whole proceeding,
and strolled to the window, quite with the air of
a fashionable gentleman. Little girls, and dolls,
were not at all in his line.
And forthwith the fond mother proceeded to
tell me (as what mother is not ready to do ?)
of all Bessie's virtues (and vices too, for the
matter of that) and of the many fearful maladies
which, notwithstanding those ruddy cheeks and
that plump little figure, had nearly, time and
again, swept her from the face of the earth.
When the full stream of loving memories had
nearly run itself out, I began to question her
about the working men of that neighbourhood,
and specially the ' Willie.' whom we had heard
of at his cottage. "He was a good fellow
once," said my kind hostess : " but it's the drink
has ruined him ! Not that I'd rob them of the
v] MATILDA JANE. 71
drink it's good for the most of them
but there's some as is too weak to stand
agin' temptations : it's a thousand pities, for
them, as they ever built the Golden Lion at
the corner there ! "
" The Golden Lion ? " I repeated.
" It's the new Public," my hostess explained.
" And it stands right in the way. and handy
for the workmen, as they come back from the
brickfields, as it might be to-day, with their
week's wages. A deal of money gets wasted
that way. And some of 'em gets drunk."
" If only they could have it in their own
houses " I mused, hardly knowing I had said
the words out loud.
" That's it ! " she eagerly exclaimed. It was
evidently a solution, of the problem, that she
had already thought out. "If only you could
manage, so's each man to have his own little
barrel in his own house there'd hardly be
a drunken man in the length and breadth of
the land ! "
And then I told her the old story about
a certain cottager who bought himself a little
barrel of beer, and installed his wife as bar-
72 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
keeper : and how, every time he wanted his
mug of beer, he regularly paid her over the
counter for it : and how she never would let
him go on ' tick,' and was a perfectly inflexible
bar-keeper in never letting him have more than
his proper allowance : and how, every time the
barrel needed refilling, she had plenty to do it
with, and something over for her money-box :
and how, at the end of the year, he not
only found himself in first-rate health and spirits,
with that undefinable but quite unmistakeable
air which always distinguishes the sober man
from the one who takes ' a drop too much,' but
had quite a box full of money, all saved out of
his own pence !
" If only they'd all do like that!" said the
good woman, wiping her eyes, which were over-
flowing with kindly sympathy. " Drink hadn't
need to be the curse it is to some
" Only a curse," I said, " when it is used
wrongly. Any of God's gifts may be turned
into a curse, unless we use it wisely. But
we must be getting home. Would you call the
little girls ? Matilda Jane has seen enough
of company, for one day, I'm sure ! "
v] MATILDA JANE. 73
" I'll find 'em in a minute," said my hostess,
as she rose to leave the room. " Maybe that
young gentleman saw which way they went ? "
" Where are they, Bruno ?" I said.
" They ain't in the field," was Bruno's rather
evasive reply, " 'cause there's nothing but pigs
there, and Sylvie isn't a pig. Now don't
imperrupt me any more, 'cause I'm telling a
story to this fly ; and it won't attend ! "
"They're among the apples, I'll warrant
'em ! " said the Farmer's wife. So we left
Bruno to finish his story, and went out into the
orchard, where we soon came upon the children,
walking sedately side by side, Sylvie carrying
the doll, while little Bess carefully shaded, its
face, with a large cabbage-leaf for a parasol.
As soon as they caught sight of us, little Bess
dropped her cabbage-leaf and came running to
meet us, Sylvie following more slowly, as her
precious charge evidently needed great care
and attention.
" I'm its Mamma, and Sylvie's the Head-
Nurse," Bessie explained : "and Sylvie's taught
me ever such a pretty song, for me to sing to
Matilda Jane ! "
74 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Let's hear it once more, Sylvie," I said,
delighted at getting the chance I had long
wished for, of hearing her sing. But Sylvie
turned shy and frightened in a moment. " No,
please not ! " she said, in an earnest ' aside ' to
me. " Bessie knows it quite perfect now.
Bessie can sing it ! "
" Aye, aye ! Let Bessie sing it ! " said the
proud mother. " Bessie has a bonny voice of
her own," (this again was an ' aside ' to me)
" though I say it as shouldn't ! "
Bessie was only too happy to accept the
' encore.' So the plump little Mamma sat
down at our feet, with her hideous daughter
reclining stiffly across her lap (it was one of
a kind that wo'n't sit down, under any amount
of persuasion), and, with a face simply beaming
with delight, began the lullaby, in a shout that
ought to have frightened the poor baby into fits.
The Head-Nurse crouched down behind her,
keeping herself respectfully in the back-ground,
with her hands on the shoulders of her little
mistress, so as to be ready to act as Prompter,
if required, and to supply ' each gap in faithless
memory void'
v]
MATILDA JANE.
75
The shout, with which she began, proved to
be only a momentary effort. After a very few
notes, Bessie toned down, and sang on in a
small but very sweet voice. At first her great
black eyes were fixed on her mother, but soon
her gaze wandered upwards, among the apples,
and she seemed to have quite forgotten that
she had any other audience than her Baby, and
her Head-Nurse, who once or twice supplied,
almost inaudibly, the right note, when the singer
was getting a little ' flat.'
76 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"Matilda Jane, you never look
At any toy or picture-book :
I show you pretty things in vain
You must be blind, Matilda Jane !
" / ask you riddles, tell you tales,
But all our conversation fails:
You never answer me again
/ fear you're dumb, Matilda Jane !
"Matilda, darling, when I call,
You never seem to hear at all:
I shout with all my migJit and main
But you're so deaf, Matilda Jane !
"Matilda Jane, you needn't mind:
For, though you're deaf, and dumb, and blind,
There s some one loves you, it is plain-
And that is me, Matilda Jane ! "
She sang three of the verses in a rather per-
functory style, but the last stanza evidently
excited the little maiden. Her voice rose, ever
clearer and louder : she had a rapt look on her
face, as if suddenly inspired, and, as she sang
the last few words, she clasped to her heart
the inattentive Matilda Jane.
v] MATILDA JANE. 77
" Kiss it now !" prompted the Head-Nurse.
And in a moment the simpering meaningless
face of the Baby was covered with a shower
of passionate kisses.
" What a bonny song ! " cried the Farmer's
wife. " Who made the words, dearie ? "
" I I think I'll look for Bruno," Sylvie
said demurely, and left us hastily. The curious
child seemed always afraid of being praised, or
even noticed.
" Sylvie planned the words," Bessie informed
us, proud of her superior information: "and
Bruno planned the music and / sang it ! '
(this last circumstance, by the way, we did not
need to be told).
So we followed Sylvie, and all entered the
parlour together. Bruno was still standing at
the window, with his elbows on the sill. He
had, apparently, finished the story that he was
telling to the fly, and had found a new
occupation. "Don't imperrupt!" he said as
we came in. "I'm counting the Pigs in the
held ! "
" How many are there ? " I enquired.
" About a thousand and four," said Bruno.
78 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" You mean ' about a thousand,' ' Sylvie
corrected him. " There's no good saying { and
four ' : you cant be sure about the four ! '
"And you're as wrong as ever!" Bruno
exclaimed triumphantly. " It's just the four I
can be sure about ; 'cause they're here, grub--
bling under the window! It's the thousand
I isn't pruffickly sure about ! "
" But some of them have gone into the
sty," Sylvie said, leaning over him to look out
of the window.
" Yes," said Bruno ; " but they went so slowly
and so fewly, I didn't care to count than"
"We must be going, children," I said.
"Wish Bessie good-bye." Sylvie flung her
arms round the little maiden's neck, and kissed
her : but Bruno stood aloof, looking unusually
shy. ("I never kiss nobody but Sylvie ! " he
explained to me afterwards.) The farmer's
wife showed us out : and we were soon on our
way back to Elveston.
" And that's the new public-house that we
were talking about, I suppose ? " I said, as
we came in sight of a long low building, with
the words ' THE GOLDEN LION ' over the door.
v] MATILDA JANE. 79
"Yes, that's it," said Sylvie. "1 wonder if
her Willie's inside ? Run in, Bruno, and see
if he's there."
I interposed, feeling that Bruno was, in a
sort of way, in my care. "That's not a place
to send a child into." For already the revelers
were getting noisy : and a wild discord of
singing, shouting, and meaningless laughter
came to us through the open windows.
" They wo'n't see him, you know," Sylvie
explained. " Wait a minute, Bruno ! " She
clasped the jewel, that always hung round her
neck, between the palms of her hands, and
muttered a few words to herself. What they
were I could not at all make out, but some
mysterious change seemed instantly to pass
over us. My feet seemed to me no longer to
press the ground, and the dream-like feeling
came upon me, that I was suddenly endowed
with the power of floating in the air. I could
still just see the children : but their forms were
shadowy and unsubstantial, and their voices
sounded as if they came from some distant
place and time, they were so unreal. How-
ever, I offered no further opposition to Bruno's
8o SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
going into the house. He was back again in
a few moments. " No, he isn't come yet," he
said. " They're talking about him inside, and
saying how drunk he was last week,"
While he was speaking, one of the men
lounged out through the door, a pipe in one
hand and a mug of beer in the other, and
crossed to where we were standing, so as to
get a better view along the road. Two or
three others leaned out through the open
window, each holding his mug of beer, with
red faces and sleepy eyes. " Canst see him,
lad ? " one of them asked.
" I dunnot know," the man said, taking a
step forwards, which brought us nearly face
to face. Sylvie hastily pulled me out of his
way. " Thanks, child," I said. " I had for-
gotten he couldn't see us. What would have
happened if I had staid in his way ? "
" I don't know," Sylvie said gravely. "It
wouldn't matter to tts ; but you may be diffe-
rent." She said this in her usual voice, but
the man took no sort of notice, though she
was standing close in front of him, and looking
up into his face as she spoke.
v] MATILDA JANE. Hi
" He's coming now ! " cried Bruno, pointing
down the road.
" He be a-coomin noo!" echoed the man,
stretching out his arm exactly over Bruno's
head, and pointing with his pipe.
" Then chorus agin ! " was shouted out by
one of the red-faced men in the window : and
forthwith a dozen voices yelled, to a harsh
discordant melody, the refrain :
" There's him, an' yo, an me,
Roariii laddies !
We loves a bit d spree,
Roariri laddies we,
Roarirt laddies
Roarin' laddies ! "
The man lounged back again to the house,
joining lustily in the chorus as he went : so
that only the children and I .were in the road
when ' Willie ' came up.
CHAPTER VI.
WILLIE'S WIFE.
HE made for the door of the public-house,
but the children intercepted him. Sylvie clang
to one arm ; while Bruno, on the opposite
side, was pushing him with all his strength,
with many inarticulate cries of " Gee-up ! Gee-
back ! Woah then ! " which he had picked up
from the waggoners.
' Willie ' took not the least notice of them :
he was simply conscious that something had
checked him : and, for want of any other way
of accounting for it, he seemed to regard it
as his own act.
VI]
WILLIE'S WIFE.
' I wunnut coom in," he said : " not to-day."
" A mug o' beer wunnut hurt 'ee ! " his
friends shouted in chorus. " Two mugs wunnut
hurt 'ee ! Nor a dozen mugs ! "
G 2
84 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Nay," said Willie. " I'm agoan whoam."
" What, withouten thy drink, Willie man ? "
shouted the others. But ' Willie man ' would
have no more discussion, and turned doggedly
away, the children keeping one on each side of
him, to guard him against any change in his
sudden resolution.
For a while he walked on stoutly enough,
keeping his hands in his pockets, and softly
whistling a tune, in time to his heavy tread :
his success, in appearing entirely at his ease,
was almost complete ; but a careful observer
would have noted that he had forgotten the
second part of the air, and that, when it broke
down, he instantly began it. again, being too
nervous to think of another, and too restless
to endure silence.
It was not the old fear that possessed him
now the old fear, that had been his dreary
companion every Saturday night he could re-
member, as he had reeled along, steadying
himself against gates and garden-palings, and
when the shrill reproaches of his wife had
seemed to his dazed brain only the echo of a
yet more piercing voice within, the intolerable
vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 85
wail of a hopeless remorse : it was a wholly
new fear that had come to him now : life had
taken on itself a new set of colours, and was
lighted up with a new and dazzling radiance,
and he did not see, as yet, how his home-life,
and his wife and child, would fit into the new
order of things : the very novelty of it all was,
to his simple mind, a perplexity and an over-
whelming terror.
And now the tune died into sudden silence
on the trembling lips, as he turned a sharp
corner, and came in sight of his own cottage,
where his wife stood, leaning with folded arms
on the wicket-gate, and looking up the road
with a pale face, that had in it no glimmer of
the light of hope only the heavy shadow of
a deep stony despair.
" Fine an' early, lad ! Fine an' early ! " The
words might have been words of welcoming,
but oh, the bitterness of the tone in which she
said it ! "What brings thee from thy merry
mates, and all the fiddling and the jigging ?
Pockets empty, I doubt ? Or thou'st come,
mebbe, for to see thy little one die ? The
bairnie's clemmed, and I've nor bite nor sup
86 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
to gie her. But what does tkou care ? " She
flung the gate open, and met him with blazing
eyes of fury.
The man said no word. Slowly, and with
downcast eyes, he passed into the house, while
she, half terrified at his strange silence, followed
him in without another word ; and it was not
till he had sunk into a chair, with his arms
crossed on the table and with drooping head,
that she found her voice again.
It seemed entirely natural for us to go in
with them : at another time one would have
asked leave for this, but I felt, I knew not
why, that we were in some mysterious way
invisible, and as free to come and to go as
disembodied spirits.
The child in the cradle woke up, and raised
a piteous cry, which in a moment brought the
children to its side : ' Bruno rocked the cradle,
while Sylvie tenderly replaced the little head on
the pillow from which it had slipped. But the
mother took no heed of the cry, nor yet of the
satisfied ' coo ' that it set up when Sylvie had
made it happy again : she only stood gazing at
her husband, and vainly trying, with white
vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 87
quivering lips (I believe she thought he was
mad), to speak in the old tones of shrill up-
braiding that he knew so well.
"And thou'st spent all thy wages I'll
swear thou hast on the devil's own drink
and thou'st been and made thysen a beast
again as thou allus dost
" Hasna ! " the man muttered, his voice hardly
rising above a whisper, as he slowly emptied
his pockets on the table. " There's th' wage,
Missus, every penny on't."
The woman gasped, and put. one hand to her
heart, as if under some great shock of surprise.
" Then how 's thee gotten th' drink ? "
" Hasna gotten it," he answered her, in a
tone more sad than sullen. " I hanna touched
a drop this blessed day. No ! " he cried aloud,
bringing, his clenched fist heavily down upon
the table, and looking up at her with gleaming
eyes, "nor I'll never touch another drop o' the
cursed drink till 1 die so help me God
my Maker!" His voice, which had suddenly
risen to a hoarse shout, dropped again as
suddenly : and once more he bowed his head,
and buried his face in his folded arms.
88
SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 89
The woman had dropped upon her knees by
the cradle, while he was speaking. She neither
looked at him nor seemed to hear him. With
hands clasped above her head, she rocked her-
self wildly to and fro. " Oh my God ! Oh my
God ! " was all she said, over and over again.
Sylvie and Bruno gently unclasped her hands
and drew them down till she had an arm
round each of them, though she took no notice
of them, but knelt on with eyes gazing upwards,
and lips that moved as if in silent thanksgiving.
The man kept his face hidden, and uttered no
sound : but one could see the sobs that shook
him from head to foot.
After a while he raised his head his face
all wet with tears. " Polly ! " he said softly ;
and then, louder, " Old Poll ! "
Then she rose from her knees and came to
him, with a dazed look, as if she were walk-
ing in her sleep. " Who was it called me
old Poll ? " she asked : her voice took on it a
tender playfulness : her eyes sparkled ; and
the rosy light of Youth flushed her pale cheeks,
till she looked more like a happy girl of seven-
teen than a worn woman of forty. " Was
90 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
that my own lad, my Willie, a- waiting for me
at the stile ? "
His face too was transformed, in the same
magic light, to the likeness of a bashful boy :
and boy and girl they seemed, as he wound
an arm about her, and drew her to his side,
while with the other hand he thrust from him
the heap of money, as though it were something
hateful to the touch. " Tak it, lass," he said,
"tak it all! An' fetch us summat to eat : but
get a sup o' milk, first, for t' bairn/'
" My little bairn ! " she murmured as she
gathered up the coins. " My own little lassie !"
Then she moved to the door, and was passing
out, but a sudden thought seemed to arrest
her : she hastily returned first to kneel down
and kiss the sleeping child, and then to throw
herself into her husband's arms and be strained
to his heart. The next moment she was on
her way, taking with her a jug that hung on
a peg near the door : we followed close behind.
We had not gone far before we came in sight
of a swinging sign-board bearing the word
' DAIRY ' on it, and here she went in, welcomed
by a little curly white dog, who, not being
vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 91
under the ' eerie ' influence, saw the children,
and received them with the most effusive affec-
tion. When I got inside, the dairyman was in
the act of taking the money. " Is't for thysen,
Missus, or for t' bairn ? " he asked, when he had
filled the jug, pausing with it in his hand.
"For t' bairn!" she said, almost reproach-
fully. " Think'st tha I'd touch a drop my sen,
while as she hadna got her fill ? "
"All right, Missus," the man replied, turning
away with the jug in his hand. " Let's just
rnak sure it's good measure." He went back
among his shelves of milk-bowls, carefully keep-
ing his back towards her while he emptied a
little measure of cream into the jug, muttering
to himself "mebbe it'll hearten her up a bit,
the little lassie ! "
The woman never noticed the kind deed,
but took back the jug with a simple " Good
evening, Master," and went her way : but the
children had been more observant, and, as
we followed her out, Bruno remarked " That
were welly kind : and I loves that man : and
if I was welly rich I'd give him a hundred
pounds and a bun. That little grurnmeling
92 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
dog doosn't know its business ! '' He referred
to the dairyman's little dog, who had apparently
quite forgotten the affectionate welcome he had
given us on our arrival, and was now follow-
ing at a respectful distance, doing his best to
' speed the parting guest ' with a shower of
little shrill barks, that seemed to tread on one
another's heels.
" What is a. dog's business ? " laughed Sylvie.
" Dogs ca'n't keep shops and give change ! "
" Sisters' businesses isrit to laugh at their
brothers," Bruno replied with perfect gravity.
"And dogs' businesses is to bark not like
that : it should finish one bark before it begins
another : and it should Oh Sylvie, there's
some dindledums ! "
And in another moment the happy children
were flying across the common, racing for the
patch of dandelions.
While I stood watching them, a strange
dreamy feeling came upon me : a railway-plat-
form seemed to take the place of the green
sward, and, instead of the light figure of Sylvie
bounding along, I seemed to see the flying
form of Lady Muriel ; but whether Bruno
vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 93
had also undergone a transformation, and had
become the old man whom she was running to
overtake, I was unable to judge, so instan-
taneously did the feeling come and go.
When I re-entered the little sitting-room
which I shared with Arthur, he was standing
with his back to me, looking out of the open
window, and evidently had not heard me enter.
A cup of tea, apparently just tasted and pushed
aside, stood on the table, on the opposite side of
which was a letter, just begun, with the pen
lying across it : an open book lay on the sofa :
the London paper occupied the easy chair ; and
on the little table, which stood by it, I noticed
an unlighted cigar and an open box of cigar-
lights : all things betokened that the Doctor,
usually so methodical and so self-contained, had
been trying every form of occupation, and could
settle to none !
"This is very unlike you, Doctor!" I was
beginning, but checked myself, as he turned at
the sound of my voice, in sheer amazement at
the wonderful change that had taken place in
his appearance. Never had I seen a face so
radiant with happiness, or eyes that sparkled
94 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
with such unearthly light! "Even thus," I
thought, " must the herald-angel have looked,
who brought to the shepherds, watching over
their flocks by night, that sweet message of
' peace on earth, good-will to men' /"
" Yes, dear friend ! " he said, as if in answer
to the question that I suppose he read in my
face. " It is true ! It is true ! "
No need to ask what was true. " God bless
you both ! " I said, as I felt the happy tears
brimming to my eyes. "You were made for
each other ! "
" Yes," he said, simply, " I believe we were.
And what a change it makes in one's Life !
This isn't the same world ! That isn't the sky
I saw yesterday ! Those clouds 1 never
saw such clouds in all my life before ! They
look like troops of hovering angels ! "
To me they looked very ordinary clouds
indeed : but then / had not fed ' on honey-
dew, And drunk the milk of Paradise ' !
" She wants to see you at once," he
continued, descending suddenly to the things
of earth. "She says that is the one drop yet
wanting in her cup of happiness ! "
vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 95
" I'll go at once," I said, as I turned to leave
the room. " Wo'n't you come with me ? "
" No, Sir ! " said the Doctor, with a sudden
effort which proved an utter failure to
resume his professional manner. " Do I look
like coming with you ? Have you never heard
that two is company, and "
'Yes," I said, " I have heard it: and I'm
painfully aware that / am Number Three ! But,
when shall we three meet again ? "
" When the hurly-burly s done / " he answered
with a happy laugh, such as I had not heard
from him for many a year.
CHAPTER VII.
MEIN HERR.
So I went on my lonely way, and, on reach-
ing the Hall, I found Lady Muriel standing at
the garden-gate waiting for me.
" No need to give you joy, or to wish you
joy ? " I began.
"None whatever!" she replied, with the
joyous laugh of a child. " We give people what
they haven't got : we wish for something that
is yet to come. For me, it's all here! It's all
mine I Dear friend," she suddenly broke off,
"do you think Heaven ever begins on Earth,
for any of us ? "
vii] MEIN HERR. 97
" For some ," I said. " For some, perhaps, who
are simple and childlike. You know He said
' of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.' '
Lady Muriel clasped her hands, and gazed up
into the cloudless sky, with a look I had often
seen in Sylvie's eyes. " I feel as if it had begun
for me" she almost whispered. " I feel as if /
were one of the happy children, whom He bid
them bring near to Him, though the people
would have kept them back. Yes, He has seen
me in the throng. He has read the wistful
longing in my eyes. He has beckoned me to
Him. They have had to make way for me.
He has taken me up in His arms. He has put
His hands upon me and blessed me!" She
paused, breathless in her perfect happiness.
" Yes," I said. " I think He has ! "
" You must come and speak to my father,"
she went on, as we stood side by side at the
gate, looking down the shady lane. But, even
as she said the words, the ' eerie ' sensation
came over me like a flood : I saw the dear
old Professor approaching us, and also saw,
what was stranger still, that he was visible to
Lady Muriel !
H
98 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
What was to be done ? Had the fairy-life
been merged in the real life ? Or was Lady
Muriel ' eerie ' also, and thus able to enter into
the fairy-world along with me ? The words
were on my lips (" I see an old friend of mine
in the lane : if you don't know him, may I
introduce him to you ? ") when the strangest
thing of all happened : Lady Muriel spoke.
" I see an old friend of mine in the lane,"
she said : " if you don't know him, may I
introduce him to you ? "
I seemed to wake out of a dream : for the
' eerie ' feeling was still strong upon me, and
the figure outside seemed to be changing at
every moment, like one of the shapes in a
kaleidoscope : now he was the Professor, and
now he was somebody else ! By the time he
had reached the gate, he certainly was some-
body else : and I felt that the proper course
was for Lady Muriel, not for me, to introduce
him. She greeted him kindly, and, opening
the gate, admitted the venerable old man
a German, obviously who looked about him
with dazed eyes, as if he, too, had but just
awaked from a dream !
vn] MEIN HERR. 99
No, it was certainly not the Professor ! My
old friend coiild not have grown that mag-
nificent beard since last we met : moreover, he
would have recognised me, for I was certain
that / had not changed much in the time.
As it was, he simply looked at me vaguely,
and took off his hat in response to Lady
Muriel's words " Let me introduce Mein Herr
to you " ; while in the words, spoken in a
strong German accent, "proud to make your
acquaintance, Sir ! " I could detect no trace
of an idea that we had ever met before.
Lady Muriel led us to the well-known shady
nook, where preparations for afternoon- tea had
already been made, and, while she went in to
look for the Earl, we seated ourselves in two
easy-chairs, and 'Mein Herr' took up Lady
Muriel's work, and examined it through his
large spectacles (one of the adjuncts that
made him so provokingly like the Professor).
"Hemming pocket-handkerchiefs?" he said,
musingly. " So that is what the. English
miladies occupy themselves with, is it ? "
" It is the one accomplishment," I said, "in
which Man has never yet rivaled Woman ! "
H 2
ioo SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Here Lady Muriel returned with her father ;
and, after he had exchanged some friendly
words with ' Mein Herr/ and we had all been
supplied with the needful ' creature-comforts,'
the newcomer returned to the suggestive sub-
ject of Pocket-handkerchiefs.
" You have heard of Fortunatus's Purse,
Miladi ? Ah, so ! Would you be surprised
to hear that, with three of these leetle hand-
kerchiefs, you shall make the Purse of Fortu-
natus, quite soon, quite easily ? "
"Shall I indeed?" Lady Muriel eagerly
replied, as she took a heap of them into her
lap, and threaded her needle. " Please tell
me how, Mein Herr! I'll make one before
I touch another drop of tea ! f>
" You shall first," said Mein Herr, possessing
himself of two of the handkerchiefs, spreading
one upon the other, and holding them up by
two corners, " you shall first join together
these upper corners, the right to the right,
the left to the left ; and the opening between
them shall be the mouth of the Purse."
A very few stitches sufficed to carry out this
direction. "Now, if I sew the other three
vil] MEIN HERR. 101
edges together," she suggested, " the bag is
complete ? "
" Not so, Miladi : the lower edges shall first
be joined ah, not so ! " (as she was beginning
to sew them together). " Turn one of them
over, and join the right lower corner of the
one to the left lower corner of the other, and
sew the lower edges together in what you
would call the wrong way."
" / see ! " said Lady Muriel, as she deftly
executed the order. " And a very twisted,
uncomfortable, uncanny-looking bag it makes !
But the moral is a lovely one. Unlimited
wealth can only be attained by doing things
in the wrong way ! And how are we to join
up these mysterious no, I mean this mys-
terious opening ? " (twisting the thing round
and round with a puzzled air.) "Yes, it is one
opening. I thought it was two, at first."
" You have seen the puzzle of the Paper
Ring ? " Mein Herr said, addressing the Earl.
" Where you take a slip of paper, and join
its ends together, first twisting one, so as to
join the upper corner of one end to the lower
corner of the other ? "
102 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" I saw one made, only yesterday," the
Earl replied. " Muriel, my child, were you
not making one, to amuse those children you
had to tea ? "
" Yes, I know that Puzzle," said Lady
Muriel. " The Ring has only one surface, and
only one edge. It's very mysterious ! "
" The bag is just like that, isn't it ? " I sug-
gested. "Is not the outer surface of one side
of it continuous with the inner surface of the
other side ? "
"So it is!" she exclaimed. " Only it isrit
a bag, just yet. How shall we fill up this
opening, Mein Herr?"
" Thus ! " said the old man impressively,
taking the bag from her, and rising to his feet
in the excitement of the explanation. " The
edge of the opening consists of four hand-
kerchief-edges, and you can trace it continu-
ously, round and round the opening : down the
right edge of one handkerchief, up the left edge
of the other, and then down the left edge of
the one, and up the right edge of the other!"
" So you can ! " Lady Muriel murmured
thoughtfully, leaning her head on her hand,
VI l]
MEIN HERR.
103
and earnestly watching the old man. " And
that proves it to be only one opening ! "
She looked so strangely like a child, puzzling
over a difficult lesson, and Mein Herr had
become, for the moment, so strangely like the
old Professor, that I felt utterly bewildered :
the ' eerie ' feeling was on me in its full force,
and I felt almost impelled to say " Do you
understand it, Sylvie ? ' However I checked
myself by a great effort, and let the dream
(if indeed it was a dream) go on to its end.
104 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Now, this third handkerchief," Mem Herr
proceeded, " has also four edges, which you
can trace continuously round and round : all
you need do is to join its four edges to the
four edges of the opening. The Purse is then
complete, and its outer surface
"/ see!" Lady Muriel eagerly interrupted.
" Its outer surface will be continuous with its
inner surface ! But it will take time. I'll sew
it up after tea." She laid aside the bag, and
resumed her cup of tea. " But why do you
call it Fortunatus's Purse, Mein Herr?"
The dear old man beamed upon her, with a
jolly smile, looking more exactly like the Pro-
fessor than ever. " Don't you see, my child
I should say M iladi ? Whatever is inside
that Purse, is outside it ; and whatever is O2tt-
side it, is inside it. So you have all the
wealth of the world in that leetle Purse ! "
His pupil clapped her hands, in unrestrained
delight. " I'll certainly sew the third hand-
kerchief in some time," she said: "but I
wo'n't take up your time by trying it now.
Tell us some more wonderful things, please ! "
And her face and her voice so exactly recalled
vn] MEIN HERR. 105
Sylvie, that I could not help glancing round,
half-expecting to see Bruno also !
Mein Herr began thoughtfully balancing his
spoon on the edge of his teacup, while he
pondered over this request. " Something
wonderful like Fortunatus's Purse ? That
will give you when it is made wealth
beyond your wildest dreams : but it will not
give you Time ! "
A pause of silence ensued utilised by
Lady Muriel for the very practical purpose
of refilling the teacups.
" In your country," Mein Herr began with a
startling abruptness, "what becomes of all the
wasted Time ? "
Lady Muriel looked grave. " Who can
tell ?" she half-whispered to herself. "All one
knows is that it is gone past recall ! "
"Well, in my 1 mean in a country /have
visited," said the old man, " they store it up :
and it comes in very useful, years afterwards j
For example, suppose you have a long tedious
evening before you : nobody to talk to : nothing
you care to do : and yet hours too soon to go
to bed. How do you behave then ?"
io6 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" I get very cross," she frankly admitted :
"and I want to throw things about the room ! "
" When that happens to to the people I
have visited, they never act so. By a short and
simple process which I cannot explain to you
they store up the useless hours : and, on
some other occasion, when they happen to need
extra time, they get them out again."
The Earl was listening with a slightly in-
credulous smile. " Why cannot you explain the
process ? " he enquired.
Mein Herr was ready with a quite unanswer-
able reason. " Because you have no ivords, in
your language, to convey the ideas which are
needed. I could explain it in in but you
would not understand it ! "
"No indeed!" said Lady Muriel, graciously
dispensing with the name of the unknown
language. " I never learnt it at least, not
to speak it fluently, you know. Please tell us
some more wonderful things ! '
" They run their railway-trains without any
engines nothing is needed but machinery to
stop them with. Is that wonderful enough,
Miladi?"
vn] MEIN HERR. 107
"But where does the force come from ? " I
ventured to ask.
Mein Herr turned quickly round, to look at
the new speaker. Then he took off his spec-
tacles, and polished them, and looked at me
again, in evident bewilderment. I could see
he was thinking as indeed / was also that
we must have met before.
" They use the force of gravity" he said.
"It is a force known also in your country, I
believe ? "
" But that would need a railway going down-
Jiill" the Earl remarked. " You ca'n't have all
your railways going down-hill ? "
" They all do," said Mein Herr.
"Not from both ends?"
" From both ends."
" Then I give it up ! " said the Earl.
" Can you explain the process?" said Lady
Muriel. "Without using that language, that I
ca'n't speak fluently ? "
" Easily," said Mein Herr. " Each railway
is in a long tunnel, perfectly straight : so of
course the middle of it is nearer the centre of
the globe than the two ends : so every train
io8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
runs half-way down-\\\\\, and that gives it force
enough to run the other half up-\i\\\"
" Thank you. I understand that perfectly,"
said Lady Muriel. " But the velocity, in the
middle of the tunnel, must be something
fearful /"
' Mein Herr' was evidently much gratified
at the intelligent interest Lady Muriel took in
his remarks. At every moment the old man
seemed to grow more chatty and more fluent.
" You would like to know our methods of
driving?" he smilingly enquired. "To us, a
run-away horse is of no import at all ! "
Lady Muriel slightly shuddered. " To us
it is a very real danger," she said.
" That is because your carriage is wholly
behind your horse. Your horse runs. Your
carriage follows. Perhaps your horse has the
bit in his teeth. Who shall stop him ? You
fly, ever faster and faster ! Finally comes the
inevitable upset ! "
" But suppose your horse manages to get the
bit in his teeth ? "
" No matter ! We would not concern our-
selves. Our horse is harnessed in the very
Vll] MEIN HERR. 109
centre of our carriage. Two wheels are in
front of him, and two behind. To the roof is
attached one end of a broad belt. This goes
under the horse's body, and the other end is
attached to a leetle what you call a ' wind-
lass,' I think. The horse takes the bit in his
teeth, He runs away. We are flying at ten
miles an hour ! We turn our little windlass,
five turns, six turns, seven turns, and poof!
Our horse is off the ground ! Now let him
gallop in the air, as much as he pleases : our
carriage stands still. We sit round him, and
watch him till he is tired. Then we let him
down. Our horse is glad, very much glad,
when his feet once more touch the ground ! "
" Capital ! " said the Earl, who had been
listening attentively. "Are there any other
peculiarities in your carriages ? "
" In the wheels, sometimes, my Lord. For
your health, you go to sea : to be pitched, to
be rolled, occasionally to be drowned. We do
all that on land : we are pitched, as you ; we
are rolled, as you ; but drowned, no ! There
is no water ! "
" What are the wheels like, then ? "
no SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" They are oval, my Lord. Therefore the
carriages rise and fall."
" Yes, and pitch the carriage backwards and
forwards : but how do they make it roll ? "
" They do not match, my Lord. The end of
one wheel answers to the side of the opposite
wheel. So first one side of the carriage rises,
then the other. And it pitches all the while.
Ah, you must be a good sailor, to drive in our
boat-carriages ! "
" I can easily believe it," said the Earl.
Mein Herr rose to his feet. " I must leave
you now, Miladi," he said, consulting his watch.
" I have another engagement."
" I only wish we had stored up some extra
time ! " Lady Muriel said, as she shook hands
with him. " Then we could have kept you a
little longer ! "
"In that case I would gladly stay," replied
Mein Herr. "As it is 1 fear I must say
good-bye ! "
" Where did you first meet him ? " I asked
Lady Muriel, when Mein Herr had left us.
" And where does he live ? And what is his
real name ? "
vn] MEIN HERR. ill
" We first met him ' she musingly
replied, "really, I ca'n't remember where!
And I've no idea where he lives ! And I
never heard any other name! It's very
curious. It never occurred to me before to
consider what a mystery he is ! "
" I hope we shall meet again," I said : "he
interests me very much."
" He will be at our farewell-party, this day
fortnight," said the Earl. " Of course you will
come ? Muriel is anxious to gather all our
friends around us once more, before we leave
the place."
And then he explained to me as Lady
Muriel had left us together that he was so
anxious to get his daughter away from a place
full of so many painful memories connected
with the now-canceled engagement with Major
Lindon, that they had arranged to have the
wedding in a month's time, after which Arthur
and his wife were to go on a foreign tour.
" Don't forget Tuesday week ! " he said as
we shook hands at parting. " I only wish you
could bring with you those charming children,
that you introduced to us in the summer.
112 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Talk of the mystery of Mein Herr ! That's
nothing to the mystery that seems to attend
them ! I shall never forget those marvellous
flowers ! "
" I will bring them if I possibly can," I said.
But how to fulfil such a promise, I mused to
myself on my way back to our lodgings, was
a problem entirely beyond my skill !
CHAPTER VIII.
IN A SHADY PLACE.
THE ten days glided swiftly away : and, the
day before the great party was to take place,
Arthur proposed that we should stroll down
to the Hall, in time for afternoon-tea.
" Hadn't you better go alone ?" I suggested.
" Surely / shall be very much de trop ? "
" Well, it'll be a kind of experiment" he
said. "Fiat experimentum in corpore vili!"
he added, with a graceful bow of mock polite-
ness towards the unfortunate victim. " You
see I shall have to bear the sight, to-morrow
night, of my lady-love making herself agreable
I
IH SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
to everybody except the right person, and I
shall bear the agony all the better if we have
a dress-rehearsal beforehand ! "
" My part in the play being, apparently, that
of the sample wrong person ? "
" Well, no>" Arthur said musingly, as we set
forth : " there's no such part in a regular
company. ' Heavy Father '? That won't do :
that's filled already. ' Singing Chambermaid ' ?
Well, the ' First Lady ' doubles that part.
' Comic Old Man ' ? You're not comic enough.
After all, I'm afraid there's no part for you
but the ' Well-dressed Villain : only," with a
critical side-glance, "I'm a leetle uncertain
about the dress ! "
We found Lady Muriel alone, the Earl
having gone out to make a call, and at once
resumed old terms of intimacy, in the shady
arbour where the tea-things seemed to be
always waiting. The only novelty in the
arrangements (one which Lady Muriel seemed
to regard as entirely a matter of course), was
that two of the chairs were placed quite close
together, side by side. Strange to say, / was
not invited to occupy either of them !
vill] IN A SHADY PLACE. 115
"We have been arranging, as we came
along, about letter-writing," Arthur began.
" He will want to know how we're enjoying
our Swiss tour : and of course we must pretend
we are ? "
" Of course," she meekly assented.
" And the skeleton-in-the-cupboard " I
suggested.
" is always a difficulty," she quickly put
in, " when you're traveling about, and when
there are no cupboards in the hotels. How-
ever, ours is a very portable one ; and will be
neatly packed, in a nice leather case
"But please don't think about writing" I
said, " when you've anything more attractive
on hand. I delight in reading letters, but I
know well how tiring it is to write them.'
"It is, sometimes," Arthur assented. " For
instance, when you're very shy of the person
you have to write to.'
" Does that show itself in the letter ? " Lady
Muriel enquired. " Of course, when I hear
any one talking -yoii, for instance I can
see how desperately shy he is ! But can you
see that in a letter ? "
I 2
ii6 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Well, of course, when you hear any one
talk fluently -you, for instance you can see
how desperately zm-shy she is not to say
saucy ! But the shyest and most intermittent
talker must seem fluent in letter-writing. He
may have taken half-an-hour to compose his
second sentence ; but there it is, close after
the first ! "
" Then letters don't express all that they
might express ?"
" That's merely because our system of letter-
writing is incomplete. A shy writer ought to
be able to show that he is so. Why shouldn't
he make pauses in writing, just as he would
do in speaking ? He might leave blank spaces
say half a page at a time. And a very shy
girl if there is such a thing might write
a sentence on \hefirst sheet of her letter-
then put in a couple of blank sheets then
a sentence on the fourth sheet : and so on "
" I quite foresee that we 1 mean this clever
little boy and myself " Lady Muriel said to
me, evidently with the kind wish to bring me
into the conversation, " are going to become
famous of course all our inventions are
vni] IN A SHADY PLACE. 117
common property now for a new Code of
Rules for Letter-writing ! Please invent some
more, little boy ! "
" Well, another thing greatly needed, little
girl, is some way of expressing that we dorit
mean anything."
" Explain yourself, little boy ! Surely you
can find no difficulty in expressing a total
absence of meaning ? "
" I mean that you should be able, when you
dorit mean a thing to be taken seriously, to
express that wish. For human nature is so
constituted that whatever you write seriously
is taken as a joke, and whatever you mean
as a joke is taken seriously ! At any rate, it
is so in writing to a lady ! "
"Ah! you're not used to writing to ladies!"
Lady Muriel remarked, leaning back in her
chair, and gazing thoughtfully into the sky.
"You should try."
"Very good," said Arthur. " How many
ladies may I begin writing to ? As many as I
can count on the fingers of both hands ? "
"As many as you can count on the thumbs
of one hand ! " his lady-love replied with much
ii8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
severity. " What a very naughty little boy he
is ! Isn't he ? " (with an appealing glance at
me).
" He's a little fractious," I said. " Perhaps
he's cutting a tooth." While to myself I said
" How exactly like Sylvie talking to Bruno ! "
" He wants his tea." (The naughty little boy
volunteered the information.) " He's getting
very tired, at the mere prospect of the great
party to-morrow ! "
" Then he shall have a good rest before-
hand ! " she soothingly replied. " The tea isn't
made yet. Come, little boy, lean well back in
your chair, and think about nothing or about
me, whichever you prefer ! "
" All the same, all the same ! " Arthur sleepi-
ly murmured, watching her with loving eyes,
as she moved her chair away to the tea-table,
and began to make the tea. " Then he'll wait
for his tea. like a good, patient little boy ! "
"Shall I bring you the London Papers?"
said Lady Muriel. " I saw them lying on the
table as I came out, but my father said there
was nothing in them, except that horrid murder-
trial." (Society was just then enjoying its daily
VIIl]
IN A SHADY PLACE.
119
thrill of excitement in studying the details of a
specially sensational murder in a thieves' den in
the East of London.)
" I have no appetite for horrors," Arthur
replied. " But I hope we have learned the
lesson they should teach us though we are
very apt to read it backwards ! "
" You speak in riddles," said Lady Muriel.
" Please explain yourself. See now," suiting
the action to the word, " I am sitting at your
feet, just as if you were a second Gamaliel !
120 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Thanks, no." (This was to me, who had risen
to bring her chair back to its former place.)
" Pray don't disturb yourself. This tree and
the grass make a very nice easy-chair. What is
the lesson that one always reads wrong ? "
Arthur was silent for a minute. " I would
like to be clear what it is I mean," he said,
slowly and thoughtfully, " before I say anything
\& you because you think about it."
Anything approaching to a compliment was
so unusual an utterance for Arthur, that it
brought a flush of pleasure to her cheek, as she
replied " It is you, that give me the ideas to
think about."
" One's first thought," Arthur proceeded, <: in
reading of anything specially vile or barbarous,
as done by a fellow-creature, is apt to be that
we see a new depth of Sin revealed beneath us :
and we seem to gaze down into that abyss from
some higher ground, far apart from it."
" I think I understand you now. You mean
that one. ought to think not ' God, I thank
Thee that I am not as other men are '- but
' God, be merciful to me also, who might be,
but for Thy grace, a sinner as vile as he ! '
vin] IN A SHADY PLACE. 121
" No," said Arthur. " I meant a great deal
more than that."
She looked up quickly, but checked herself,
and waited in silence.
" One must begin further back, I think.
Think of some other man, the same age as this
poor wretch. Look back to the time when
they both began life before they had sense
enough to know Right from Wrong. Then, at
any rate, they were equal in God's sight ? "
She nodded assent.
" We have, then, two distinct epochs at which
we may contemplate the two men whose lives
we are comparing. At the first epoch they are,
so far as moral responsibility is concerned, on
precisely the same footing : they are alike
incapable of doing right or wrong. At the
second epoch the one man 1 am taking an
extreme case, for contrast has won the esteem
and love of all around him : his character is
stainless, and his name will be held in honour
hereafter : the other man's history is one
unvaried record of crime, and his life is at last
forfeited to the outraged laws of his country.
Now what have been the causes, in each case,
122 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
of each man's condition being what it is at the
second epoch ? They are of two kinds one
acting from within, the other from without.
These two kinds need to be discussed separ-
ately that is, if I have not already tired you
with my prosing ? "
" On the contrary," said Lady Muriel, " it is
a special delight to me to have a question
discussed in this way analysed and arranged,
so that one can understand it. Some books,
that profess to argue out a question, are to me
intolerably wearisome, simply because the ideas
are all arranged hap-hazard a sort of ' first
come, first served.' '
" You are very encouraging," Arthur replied,
with a pleased look. " The causes, acting from
within, which make a man's character what it is
at any given moment, are his successive acts of
volition that is, his acts of choosing whether
he will do this or that."
" We are to assume the existence of Free-
Will ? " I said, in order to have that point made
quite clear.
"If not," was the quiet reply, " cadit
quaestio : and I have no more to say."
vin] IN A SHADY PLACE. 123
"We will assume it!" the rest of the
audience the majority, I may say, looking at
it from Arthur's point of view imperiously
proclaimed. The orator proceeded.
" The causes, acting from without, are his
surroundings what Mr. Herbert Spencer
calls his ' environment.' Now the point I want
to make clear is this, that a man is responsible
for his acts of choosing, but not responsible
for his environment. Hence, if these two men
make, on some given occasion, when they are
exposed to equal temptation, equal efforts to
resist and to choose the right, their condition,
in the sight of God, must be the same. If He
is pleased in the one case, so will He be in the
other ; if displeased in the one case, so also in
the other."
" That is so, no doubt : I see it quite clearly,"
Lady Muriel put in.
" And yet, owing to their different environ-
ments, the one may win a great victory over the
temptation, while the other falls into some black
abyss of crime."
" But surely you would not say those men
were equally guilty in the sight of God ?"
124 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Either that,' 1 said Arthur, " or else I must
give up my belief in God's perfect justice.
But let me put one more case, which will show
my meaning even more forcibly. Let the one
man be in a high social position the other,
say, a common thief. Let the one be tempted
to some trivial act of unfair dealing some-
thing which he can do with the absolute
<_>
certainty that it will never be discovered
something which he can with perfect ease
forbear from doing and which he distinctly
knows to be a sin. Let the other be tempted
to some terrible crime as men would consider
it but under an almost overwhelming pressure
of motives of course not quite overwhelming,
as that would destroy all responsibility. Now,
in this case, let the second man make a greater
effort at resistance than the first. Also suppose
both to fall under the temptation 1 say that
the second man is, in God's sight, less guilty
than the other."
Lady Muriel drew a long breath. "It upsets
all one's ideas of Right and Wrong just at
first ! Why, in that dreadful murder-trial, you
would say, I suppose, that it was possible that
vin] IN A SHADY PLACE. 125
the least guilty man in the Court was the
murderer, and that possibly the judge who
tried him, by yielding to the temptation of
making one unfair remark, had committed a
crime outweighing the criminal's whole career!"
'"Certainly I should," Arthur firmly replied.
" It sounds like a paradox, I admit. But just
think what a grievous sin it must be, in God's
sight, to yield to some very slight temptation,
which we could have resisted with perfect ease,
and to do it deliberately, and in the full light
of God's Law. What penance can atone for
a sin like that ? "
" I ca'n't reject your theory," I said. " But
how it seems to widen the possible area of Sin
in the world ! "
"Is that so ? " Lady Muriel anxiously
enquired.
" Oh, not so, not so !" was the eager reply.
" To me it seems to clear away much of the
cloud that hangs over the world's history.
When this view first made itself clear to me,
I remember walking out into the fields, re-
peating to myself that line of Tennyson ' There
seemed no room for sense of wrong ! ' The
126 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
thought, that perhaps the real guilt of the
human race was infinitely less than I fancied
it that the millions, whom I had thought of
as sunk in hopeless depths of sin, were per-
haps, in God's sight, scarcely sinning at all
was more sweet than words can tell ! Life
seemed more bright and beautiful, when once
that thought had come ! * A livelier emerald
twinkles in the grass, A purer sapphire melts
into the sea!' His voice trembled as he
concluded, and the tears stood in his eyes.
Lady Muriel shaded her face with her hand,
and was silent for a minute. " It is a beautiful
thought," she said, looking up at last. " Thank
you Arthur, for putting it into my head ! "
The Earl returned in time to join us at tea,
and to give us the very unwelcome tidings that
a fever had broken out in the little harbour-
town that lay below us a fever of so malig-
nant a type that, though it had only appeared a
day or two ago, there were already more than
a dozen down in it, two or three of whom were
reported to be in imminent danger.
In answer to the eager questions of Arthur
who of course took a deep scientific interest
vin] IN A SHADY PLACE. 127
in the matter he could give very few technical
details, though he had met the local doctor. It
appeared, however, that it was an almost new
disease at least in this century, though it
might prove to be identical with the ' Plague '
recorded in History very infectious, and
frightfully rapid in its action. "It will not,
however, prevent our party to-morrow," he
said in conclusion. " None of the guests be-
long to the infected district, which is, as you
know, exclusively peopled by fishermen : so
you may come without any fear."
Arthur was very silent, all the way back,
and, on reaching our lodgings, immediately
plunged into medical studies, connected with
the alarming malady of whose arrival we had
just heard.
CHAPTER IX.
THE FAREWELL-PARTY.
ON the following day, Arthur and I reached
the Hall in good time, as only a few of the
guests it was to be a party of eighteen
had as yet arrived ; and these were talking with
the Earl, leaving us the opportunity of a few
words apart with our hostess.
"Who is that very learned-looking man with
the large spectacles ? " Arthur enquired. " I
haven't met him here before, have I ? "
" No, he's a new friend of ours," said Lady
Muriel: "a German, I believe. He is such a
dear old thing ! And quite the most learned
IX] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 129
man I ever met with one exception, of
course ! " she added humbly, as Arthur drew
himself up with an air of offended dignity.
-' And the young lady in blue, just beyond
him, talking to that foreign-looking man. Is
she learned, too ? "
" I don't know," said Lady Muriel. " But
I'm told she's a wonderful piano-forte-player. I
hope you'll hear her to-night. I asked that
foreigner to take her in, because hes very
musical, too. He's a French Count, I believe ;
and he sings splendidly ! "
" Science music singing you have in-
deed got a complete party ! " said Arthur. " I
feel quite a privileged person, meeting all these
stars. I do love music ! "
" But the party isn't quite complete ! " said
Lady Muriel. " You haven't brought us those
two beautiful children," she went on, turning
to me. " He brought them here to tea, you
know, one day last summer," again addressing
Arthur ; " and they are such darlings ! "
" They are, indeed" I assented.
" But why haven't you brought them with
you ? You promised my father you would"
K
130 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" I'm very sorry," I said ; " but really it was
impossible to bring them with me." Here I
most certainly meant to conclude the sentence:
and it was with a feeling of utter amazement,
which I cannot adequately describe, that I
heard myself going on speaking. " but they
are to join me here in the course of the even-
ing " were the words, uttered in my voice, and
seeming to come from my lips.
" I'm so glad ! " Lady Muriel joyfully replied.
" I shall enjoy introducing them to some of my
friends here ! When do you expect them ? "
I took refuge in silence. The only honest
reply would have been " That was not my
remark. / didn't say it, and it isnt true!"
But I had not the moral courage to make such
a confession. The character of a ' lunatic ' is
not, I believe, very difficult to acquire : but it
is amazingly difficult to get rid of: and it
seemed quite certain that any such speech as
that would quite justify the issue of a writ ( de
lunatico inquirendo?
Lady Muriel evidently thought I had failed
to hear her question, and turned to Arthur
with a remark on some other subject ; and I
ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 131
had time to recover from my shock of surprise
or to awake out of my momentary ' eerie '
condition, whichever it was.
When things around me seemed once more
to be real, Arthur was saying " Tm afraid
there's no help for it : they must be finite in
number."
" I should be sorry to have to believe it,"
said Lady Muriel. "Yet, when one comes to
think of it, there are no new melodies, now-a-
days. What people talk of as ' the last new
song' always recalls to me some tune I've
known as a child ! "
" The day must come if the world lasts
long enough ' said Arthur, "when every
possible tune will have been composed every
possible pun perpetrated " (Lady Muriel
wrung her hands, like a tragedy- queen) "and,
worse than that, every possible book written !
For the number of words is finite."
" It'll make very little difference to the
authors" I suggested. " Instead of saying
' what book shall I write ? ' an author will ask
himself ' which book shall I write ? ' A mere
verbal distinction ! "
T32 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Lady Muriel gave me an approving smile.
" But lunatics would always write new books,
surely ? " she went on. " They couldnt write
the sane books over again ! "
" True," said Arthur. " But their books
would come to an end, also. The number of
lunatic books is as finite as the number of
lunatics."
" And that number is becoming greater
every year," said a pompous man, whom I
recognised as the self-appointed showman on
the day of the picnic.
" So they say," replied Arthur. " And, when
ninety per cent, of us are lunatics," (he seemed
to be in a wildly nonsensical mood) " the
asylums will be put to their proper use."
" And that is ? " the pompous man
gravely enquired.
" To shelter the sane /" said Arthur. " We
shall bar ourselves in. The lunatics will have
it all their own way, outside. They '11 do it
a little queerly, no doubt. Railway-collisions
will be always happening : steamers always
blowing up : most of the towns will be burnt
down : most of the ships sunk
IX] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 133
"And most of the men. killed!" murmured
the pompous man, who was evidently hopelessly
bewildered.
" Certainly," Arthur assented. " Till at last
there will be fewer lunatics than sane men.
Then we come out : they go in : and things
return to their normal condition ! "
The pompous man frowned darkly, and bit
his lip, and folded his arms, vainly trying to
think it out. "He is jesting!" he muttered
to himself at last, in a tone of withering con-
tempt, as he stalked away.
By this time the other guests had arrived ;
and dinner was announced. Arthur of course
took down Lady Muriel : and / was pleased
to find myself seated at her other side, with
a severe-looking old lady (whom I had not
met before, and whose name I had, as is usual
in introductions, entirely failed to catch, merely
gathering that it sounded like a compound-
name) as my partner for the banquet.
She appeared, however, to be acquainted
with Arthur, and confided to me in a low voice
her opinion that he was " a very argumentative
young man." Arthur, for his part, seemed well
134 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
inclined to show himself worthy of the character
she had given him, and, hearing her say " I
never take wine with my soup ! " (this was not
a confidence to me, but was launched upon
Society, as a matter of general interest), he
at once challenged a combat by asking her
" ivhen would you say that property commence
in a plate of soup ? "
" This is my soup," she sternly replied :
" and what is before you is yours."
" No doubt," said Arthur : " but when did I
begin to own it ? Up to the moment of its
being put into the plate, it was the property
of our host : while being offered round the
table, it was, let us say, held in trust by the
waiter : did it become mine when I accepted
it ? Or when it was placed before me ? Or
when I took the first spoonful ? "
" He is a very argumentative young man ! "
was all the old lady would say : but she said
it audibly, this time, feeling that Society had a
right to know it.
Arthur smiled mischievously. " I shouldn't
mind betting you a shilling," he said, " that the
Eminent Barrister next you" (It certainly is
ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 135
possible to say words so as to make them
begin with capitals !) " ca'n't answer me ! "
" I never bet," she sternly replied.
" Not even sixpenny points at whist ? "
" Never ! " she repeated. " Whist is inno-
cent enough : but whist played for money ! "
She shuddered.
Arthur became serious again. " I'm afraid I
ca'n't take that view," he said. " I consider
that the introduction of small stakes for card-
playing was one of the most moral acts Society
ever did, as Society."
" How was it so ? " said Lady Muriel.
" Because it took Cards, once for all, out of
the category of games at which cheating is pos-
sible. Look at the way Croquet is demoralising
Society. Ladies are beginning to cheat at it,
terribly : and, if they're found out, they only
laugh, and call it fun. But when there's money
at stake, that is out of the question. The
swindler is not accepted as a wit. When a
man sits down to cards, and cheats his friends
out of their money, he doesn't get much fun
out of it unless he thinks it fun to be kicked
down stairs ! "
136 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" If all gentlemen thought as badly of ladies
as you do," my neighbour remarked with some
bitterness, " there would be very few very
few ." She seemed doubtful how to end
her sentence, but at last took " honeymoons "
as a safe word.
" On the contrary," said Arthur, the mis-
chievous smile returning to his face, " if only
people would adopt my theory, the number of
honeymoons quite of a new kind would
be greatly increased ! "
" May we hear about this new kind of
honeymoon ? " said Lady Muriel.
" Let X be the gentleman," Arthur began, in
a slightly raised voice, as he now found himself
with an audience of six, including ' Mein Herr,'
who was seated at the other side of my poly-
nomial partner. " Let X be the gentleman,
and Kthe lady to whom he thinks of proposing.
He applies for an Experimental Honeymoon.
It is granted. Forthwith the young couple-
accompanied by the great-aunt of K, to act as
chaperone start for a month's tour, during
which they have many a moonlight-walk, and
many a tete-a-tete conversation, and each can
ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 137
form a more correct estimate of the other's
character, in four weeks, than would have been
possible in as many years, when meeting under
the ordinary restrictions of Society. And it is
only after their return that X finally decides
whether he will, or will not, put the momentous
question to F/"
"In nine cases out of ten," the pompous man
proclaimed, " he would decide to break it off! "
" Then, in nine cases out of ten," Arthur
rejoined, " an unsuitable match would be pre-
vented, and both parties saved from misery ! "
"The only really unsuitable matches," the
old lady remarked, " are those made without
sufficient Money. Love may come afterwards.
Money is needed to begin with ! "
This remark was cast loose upon Society, as
a sort of general challenge ; and, as such, it was
at once accepted by several of those within
hearing : Money became the key-note of the
conversation for some time ; and a fitful echo of
it was again heard, when the dessert had been
placed upon the table, the servants had left the
room, and the Earl had started the \vine in
its welcome progress round the table.
138 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" I'm very glad to see you keep up the old
customs," I said to Lady Muriel as I filled her
glass. " It's really delightful to experience,
once more, the peaceful feeling that comes over
one when the waiters have left the room-
when one can converse without the feeling of
being overheard, and without having dishes
constantly thrust over one's shoulder. How
much more sociable it is to be able to pour
out the wine for the ladies, and to hand the
dishes to those who wish for them ! "
"In that case, kindly send those peaches
down here," said a fat red-faced man, who was
seated beyond our pompous friend. " I've
been wishing for them diagonally for some
time ! "
" Yes, it is a ghastly innovation," Lady
Muriel replied, " letting the waiters carry round
the wine at dessert. For one thing, they
always take it the wrong way round which of
course brings bad luck to everybody present ! "
" Better go the wrong way than not go at
all!" said our host. "Would you kindly help
yourself?" (This was to the fat red-faced
man.) " You are not a teetotaler, I think ? "
ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY 139
" Indeed but I am ! " he replied, as he
pushed on the bottles. " Nearly twice as
much money is spent in England on Drink,
as on any other article of food. Read this
card." (What faddist ever goes about without
a pocketful of the appropriate literature ?)
" The stripes of different colours represent the
amounts spent on various articles of food.
Look at the highest three. Money spent on
butter and on cheese, thirty-five millions : on
bread, seventy millions : on intoxicating liquors,
one hundred and thirty-six millions ! If I
had my way, I would close every public-house
in the land ! Look at that card, and read the
motto. That's where all the money goes to ! "
" Have you seen the Anti-Teetotal Card? r
Arthur innocently enquired.
" No, Sir, I have not ! " the orator savagely
replied. " What is it like ? "
" Almost exactly like this one. The coloured
stripes are the same. Only, instead of the
words ' Money spent on,' it has ' Incomes
derived from sale of ; and, instead of ' That's
where all the money goes to,' its motto is
' Thafs where all the money comes from ! ' '
140 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
The red-faced man scowled, but evidently
considered Arthur beneath his notice. So
Lady Muriel took up the cudgels. " Do you
hold the theory," she enquired, " that people
can preach teetotalism more effectually by be-
ing teetotalers themselves ? "
" Certainly I do ! " replied the red-faced man.
" Now, here is a case in point," unfolding
a newspaper-cutting : " let me read you this
letter from a teetotaler. To the Editor.
Sir, I was once a moderate drinker, and knew
a man ivho drank to excess. I went to him.
' Give up this drink,' I said. ' It will ruin your
health ! ' ' You drink,' he said : ' why shouldn't
I ? ' ' Yes] I said, ' but I know when to
leave off.' He turned away from me. ' You
drink in your way ] he said: ''let me drink
in mine. Be off !' Then 1 saw that, to do
any good with him, I must forswear drink.
From that hour I haven t touched a drop !"
" There ! What do you say to that ? " He
looked round triumphantly, while the cutting
was handed round for inspection.
" How very curious ! " exclaimed Arthur,
when it had reached him. " Did you happen
rx] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 141
to see a letter, last week, about early rising ?
It was strangely like this one."
The red-faced man's curiosity was roused.
" Where did it appear ? " he asked.
" Let me read it to you," said Arthur. He
took some papers from his pocket, opened one
of them, and read as follows. To the Editor.
Sir, I was once a moderate sleeper, and knew a
man who slept to excess. I pleaded with him.
' Give up this lying in bed,' I said, ' It will
ruin your health /' ' You go to bed 1 , he said:
' why shouldnt I ?' ' Yes,' I said, 'but I know
when to get up in the morning' He turned away
from me. ' You sleep in your way,' he said :
' let me sleep in mine. Be off ! ' Then I saw
that to do any good with him, I must forswear
sleep. From that hour I haven t been to bed ! "
Arthur folded and pocketed his paper, and
passed on the newspaper-cutting. None of us
dared to laugh, the red-faced man was
evidently so angry. " Your parallel doesn't run
on all fours ! " he snarled.
"Moderate drinkers never do so!" Arthur
quietly replied. Even the stern old lady
laughed at this.
H2 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" But it needs many other things to make a
perfect dinner ! " said Lady Muriel, evidently
anxious to change the subject. " Mein Herr !
What is your idea of a perfect dinner-party ? "
The old man looked round smilingly, and
his gigantic spectacles seemed more gigantic
than ever. "A perfect dinner-party?'' he
repeated. " First, it must be presided over
by our present hostess ! "
"That, of course!" she gaily interposed.
" But what else, Mein Herr ? "
" I can but tell you what I have seen," said
Mein Herr, "in mine own in the country I
have traveled in."
He paused for a full minute, and gazed
steadily at the ceiling with so dreamy an
expression on his face, that I feared he was
going off into a reverie, which seemed to be
his normal state. However, after a minute,
he suddenly began again.
" That which chiefly causes the failure of a
dinner-party, is the running-short not of meat,
nor yet of drink, but of conversation'''
" In an English dinner-party," I remarked,
'' I have never known small-talk run short ! "
ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 143
" Pardon me," Mein Herr respectfully replied,
" I did not say 'small-talk.' I said 'conversa-
tion.' All such topics as the weather, or politics,
or local gossip, are unknown among us. They
are either vapid or controversial. What we
need for conversation is a topic of interest and
of novelty. To secure these things we have
tried various plans Moving-Pictures, Wild-
Creatures, Moving-Guests, and a Revolving-
Humorist. But this last is only adapted to
small parties."
" Let us have it in four separate Chapters,
please ! " said Lady Muriel, who was evidently
deeply interested as, indeed, most of the
party were, by this time : and, all down the
table, talk had ceased, and heads were leaning
forwards, eager to catch fragments of Mein
Herr's oration.
"Chapter One! Moving-Pictures!" was pro-
claimed in the silvery voice of our hostess.
" The dining-table is shaped like a circular
ring," Mein Herr began, in low dreamy tones,
which, however, were perfectly audible in the
silence. " The guests are seated at the inner
side as well as the outer, having ascended to
144 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
their places by a winding-staircase, from the
room below. Along the middle of the table
runs a little railway ; and there is an endless
train of trucks, worked round by machinery ;
and on each truck there are two pictures, lean-
ing back to back. The train makes two circuits
during dinner ; and, when it has been once
round, the waiters turn the pictures round in
each truck, making them face the other way.
Thus every guest sees every picture ! "
He paused, and the silence seemed deader
than ever. Lady Muriel looked aghast.
" Really, if this goes on," she exclaimed, " I
shall have to drop a pin ! Oh, it's my fault, is
it ? " (In answer to an appealing look from Mein
Herr.) " I was forgetting my duty. Chapter
Two ! Wild-Creatures ! "
" We found the Moving-Pictures a little
monotonous," said Mein Herr. " People
didn't care to talk Art through a whole dinner ;
so we tried Wild-Creatures. Among the flowers,
which we laid (just as you do) about the table,
were to be seen, here a mouse, there a beetle ;
here a spider," (Lady Muriel shuddered) "there
a wasp ; here a toad, there a snake ;" ("Father ! "
ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 145
said Lady Muriel, plaintively. " Did you hear
that ?") "so we had plenty to talk about ! "
" And when you got stung " the old lady
began.
" They were all chained-up, dear Madam ! "
And the old lady gave a satisfied nod.
There was no silence to follow, this time.
" Third Chapter ! " Lady Muriel proclaimed at
once, " Moving-Guests ! "
" Even the Wild- Creatures proved mono-
tonous/' the orator proceeded. " So we left the
guests to choose their own subjects ; and, to
avoid monotony, we changed them. We made
the table of two rings ; and the inner ring
moved slowly round, all the time, along with
the floor in the middle and the inner row of
guests. Thus every inner guest was brought
face-to-face with every outer guest. It was a
little confusing, sometimes, to have to begin a
story to one friend and finish it to another ;
but every plan has its faults, you know."
" Fourth Chapter ! " Lady Muriel hastened
to announce. "The Revolving- H umorist !"
" For a small party we found it an excellent
plan to have a round table, with a hole cut in
L
146 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
the middle large enough to hold one guest.
Here we placed our best talker. He revolved
slowly, facing every other guest in turn : and
he told lively anecdotes the whole time ! "
" I shouldn't like it ! " murmured the pompous
man. " It would make me giddy, revolving
like that ! I should decline to ' here it
appeared to dawn upon him that perhaps the
assumption he was making was not warranted
by the circumstances : he took a hasty gulp of
wine, and choked himself.
But Mein Herr had relapsed into reverie,
and made no further remark. Lady Muriel
gave the signal, and the ladies left the room.
CHAPTER X.
JABBERING AND JAM.
WHEN the last lady had disappeared, and
the Earl, taking his place at the head of the
table, had issued the military order " Gentle-
men ! Close up the ranks, if you please ! ",
and when, in obedience to his command, we
had gathered ourselves compactly round him,
the pompous man gave a deep sigh of relief,
filled his glass to the brim, pushed on the
wine, and began one of his favorite orations.
" They are charming, no doubt ! Charming,
but very frivolous. They drag us down, so
to speak, to a lower level. They
L 2
148 SYLVJE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Do not all pronouns require antecedent
nouns ? " the Earl gently enquired.
" Pardon me," said the pompous man, with
lofty condescension. " I had overlooked the
noun. The ladies. We regret their absence.
Yet we console ourselves. Thought is free.
With them, we are limited to trivial topics-
Art, Literature, Politics, and so forth. One
can bear to discuss such paltry matters with
a lady. But no man, in his senses " (he
looked sternly round the table, as if defying
contradiction) " ever yet discussed WINE
with a lady ! " He sipped his glass of port,
leaned back in his chair, and slowly raised it
up to his eye, so as to look through it at the
lamp. "The vintage, my Lord ? " he enquired,
glancing at his host.
The Earl named the date.
" So I had supposed. But one likes to be
certain. The tint is, perhaps, slightly pale.
But the body is unquestionable. And as for
the bouquet
Ah, that magic Bouquet ! How vividly
that single word recalled the scene ! The
little beggar-boy turning his somersault in
x] JABBERING AND JAM. 149
the road the sweet little crippled maiden in
my arms the mysterious evanescent nurse-
maid all rushed tumultuously into my mind,
like the creatures of a dream : and through
this mental haze there still boomed on, like
the tolling of a bell, the solemn voice of the
great connoisseur of WINE !
Even his utterances had taken on themselves
a strange and dream-like form. " No," he
resumed and zv/ty is it, I pause to ask, that,
in taking up the broken thread of a dialogue,
one always begins with this cheerless monosyl-
lable ? After much anxious thought, I have
come to the conclusion that the object in view
is the same as that of the schoolboy, when the
sum he is working has got into a hopeless
muddle, and when in despair he takes the
sponge, washes it all out, and begins again.
Just in the same way the bewildered orator,
by the simple process of denying everything
that has been hitherto asserted, makes a clean
sweep of the whole discussion, and can ' start
fair' with a fresh theory. " No," he resumed :
" there's nothing like cherry-jam, after all.
That's what / say ! "
150 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Not for all qualities ! " an eager little man
shrilly interposed. " For richness of general
tone I don't say that it has a rival. But for
delicacy of modulation for what one may call
the ' harmonics ' of flavour give me good
old raspberry -jam \ "
" Allow me one word ! " The fat red-faced
man, quite hoarse with excitement, broke into
the dialogue. " It's too important a question
to be settled by Amateurs ! I can give you
the views of a Professional perhaps the most
experienced jam-taster now living. Why, I've
known him fix the age of strawberry-jam, to
a day and we all know what a difficult jam
it is to give a date to on a single tasting !
Well, I put to him the very question you are
discussing. His words were l cherry-yam is
best, for mere chiaroscuro of flavour: raspberry-
jam lends itself best to those resolved discords
that linger so lovingly on the tongue : but, for
rapturous ittterness of saccharine perfection, it's
apricot-jam first and the rest nowhere ! ' That
was well put, wasnt it ? "
" Consummately put ! " shrieked the eager
little man.
x] JABBERING AND JAM. 151
" I know your friend well," said the pompous
man. "As a jam-taster, he has no rival! Yet
I scarcely think
But here the discussion became general : and
his words were lost in a confused medley of
names, every guest sounding the praises of his
own favorite jam. At length, through the
din, our host's voice made itself heard. " Let
us join the ladies ! " These words seemed to
recall me to waking life ; and I felt sure that,
for the last few minutes, I had relapsed into
the ' eerie ' state.
" A strange dream ! " I said to myself as we
trooped upstairs. " Grown men discussing, as
seriously as if they were matters of life and
death, the hopelessly trivial details of mere
delicacies, that appeal to no higher human
function than the nerves of the tongue and
palate ! What a humiliating spectacle such a
discussion would be in waking life ! "
When, on our way to the drawing-room, I
received from the housekeeper my little friends,
clad in the daintiest of evening costumes, and
looking, in the flush of expectant delight, more
radiantly beautiful than I had ever seen them
152 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
before, I felt no shock of surprise, but accepted
the fact with the same unreasoning apathy with
which one meets the events of a dream, and
was merely conscious of a vague anxiety as to
how they would acquit themselves in so novel
a scene forgetting that Court-life in Outland
was as good training as they could need for
Society in the more substantial world.
It would be best, I thought, to introduce
them as soon as possible to some good-natured
lady-guest, and I selected the young lady whose
piano-forte-playing had been so much talked of.
" I am sure you like children," I said. " May
I introduce two little friends of mine ? This is
Sylvie and this is Bruno."
The young lady kissed Sylvie very graciously.
She would have done the same for Bruno, but
he hastily drew back out of reach. " Their
faces are new to me," she said. " Where do
you come from, my dear ?"
I had not anticipated so inconvenient a
question ; and, fearing that it might embarrass
Sylvie, I answered for her. " They come from
some distance. They are only here just for
this one evening."
x] JABBERING AND JAM. 153
" How far have you come, dear ? " the young
lady persisted.
Sylvie looked puzzled. " A mile or two, I
think" she said doubtfully.
" A mile or three" said Bruno.
" You shouldn't say ' a mile or three] " Sylvie
corrected him.
The young lady nodded approval. " Sylvie's
quite right. It isn't usual to say ' a mile or
three: "
" It would be usual if we said it often
enough," said Bruno.
It was the young lady's turn to look puzzled
now. " He's very quick, for his age ! " she
murmured. " You're not more than seven, are
you, dear ? " she added aloud.
''I'm not so many as that" said Bruno.
" I'm one. Sylvie's one. Sylvie and me is
two. Sylvie taught me to count."
" Oh, I wasn't counting you, you know ! "
the young lady laughingly replied.
" Hasn't oo learnt to count ? " said Bruno.
The young lady bit her lip. " Dear ! What
embarrassing questions he does ask ! " she said
in a half-audible ' aside.'
154 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Bruno, you shouldn't ! " Sylvie said re-
provingly.
"Shouldn't what?" said Bruno.
" You shouldn't ask that sort of questions."
" What sort of questions?" Bruno mis-
chievously persisted.
" What she told you not," Sylvie replied,
with a shy glance at the young lady, and losing
all sense of grammar in her confusion.
" Oo ca'n't pronounce it ! " Bruno triumph-
antly cried. And he turned to the young lady,
for sympathy in his victory. " I knewed she
couldn't pronounce ' umbrella-sting ' ! "
The young lady thought it best to return to
the arithmetical problem. " When I asked if
you were seven, you know, I didn't mean
' how many children ? ' I meant ' how many
years '
" Only got two ears," said Bruno. " Nobody's
got seven ears."
"And you belong to this little girl?" the
young lady continued, skilfully evading the
anatomical problem.
"No, I doosn't belong to her!" said Bruno.
"Sylvie belongs to me!" And he clasped
x] JABBERING AND JAM. 155
his arms round her as he added " She are my
very mine ! "
" And, do you know," said the young lady,
" I've a little sister at home, exactly \ikeyour
sister ? I'm sure they'd love each other."
" They'd be very extremely useful to each
other," Bruno said, thoughtfully. "And they
wouldn't want no looking-glasses to brush their
hair wiz."
"Why not, my child ?"
" Why, each one would do for the other one's
looking-glass, a-course ! " cried Bruno.
But here Lady Muriel, who had been stand-
ing by, listening to this bewildering dialogue,
interrupted it to ask if the young lady would
favour us with some music ; and the children
followed their new friend to the piano.
Arthur came and sat down by me. "If
rumour speaks truly," he whispered, " we are to
have a real treat ! " And then, amid a breath-
less silence, the performance began.
She was one of those players whom Society
talks of as ' brilliant,' and she dashed into the
loveliest of Haydn's Symphonies in a style that
was clearly the outcome of years of patient
156 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
study under the best masters. At first it
seemed to be the perfection of piano-forte-
playing ; but in a few minutes I began to ask
myself, wearily, " What is it that is wanting ?
Why does one get no pleasure from it ? "
Then I set myself to listen intently to
every note ; and the mystery explained itself.
There was an almost-perfect mechanical cor-
rectness and there was nothing else ! False
notes, of course, did not occur : she knew the
piece too well for that; but there was just
enough irregularity of time to betray that the
player had no real ' ear ' for music just
enough inarticulateness in the more elaborate
passages to show that she did not think her
audience worth taking real pains for just
enough mechanical monotony of accent to take
all soul out of the heavenly modulations she
was profaning in short, it was simply irritat-
ing ; and, when she had rattled off the finale
and had struck the final chord as if, the instru-
ment being now done with, it didn't matter
how many wires she broke, I could not even
affect to join in the stereotyped " Oh, thank
you ! " which was chorused around me.
x] JABBERING AND JAM. 157
Lady Muriel joined us for a moment.
" Isn't it beautiful ? " she whispered, to Arthur,
with a mischievous smile.
" No, it isn't ! " said Arthur. But the gentle
sweetness of his face quite neutralised the
apparent rudeness of the reply.
" Such execution, you know ! " she persisted.
" That's what she deserves" Arthur doggedly
replied : " but people are so prejudiced against
capital
" Now you're beginning to talk nonsense ! "
Lady Muriel cried. " But you do like Music,
don't you ? You said so just now."
" Do I like Music ? " the Doctor repeated
softly to himself. " My dear Lady Muriel,
there is Music and Music. Your question is
painfully vague. You might as well ask ' Do
you like People ? ' "
Lady Muriel bit her lip, frowned, and
stamped with one tiny foot. As a dramatic
representation of ill-temper, it was distinctly
not a success. However, it took in one of her
audience, and Bruno hastened to interpose, as
peacemaker in a rising quarrel, with the remark
" / likes Peoples ! "
158 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Arthur laid a loving hand on the little curly
head. " What ? All Peoples ? " he enquired.
" Not all Peoples," Bruno explained. " Only
but Sylvie and Lady Muriel and him
(pointing to the Earl) " and oo and oo ! "
" You shouldn't point at people,' said Sylvie.
<l It's very rude."
" In Bruno's World," I said, " there are only
four People worth mentioning ! "
"In Bruno's World !" Lady Muriel repeated
thoughtfully. " A bright and flowery world.
Where the grass is always green, where the
breezes always blow softly, and the rain-clouds
never gather ; where there are no wild beasts,
and no deserts
" There must be deserts," Arthur decisively
remarked. " At least if it was my ideal world."
" But what possible use is there in a desert? 1
said Lady Muriel. " Surely you would have
no wilderness in your ideal world ? "
Arthur smiled. " But indeed I would f" he
said. " A wilderness would be more necessary
than a railway ; and far more conducive to
general happiness than church-bells ! "
" But what would you use it for ? "
X] JABBERING AND JAM. 159
" To practise music in" he replied. " All the
young ladies, that have no ear for music, but
insist on learning it, should be conveyed,
every morning, two or three miles into the
wilderness. There each would find a comfort-
able room provided for her, and also a cheap
second-hand piano-forte, on which she might
play for hours, without adding one needless
pang to the sum of human misery ! "
Lady Muriel glanced round in alarm, lest
these barbarous sentiments should be over-
heard. But the fair musician was at a safe
distance. " At any rate you must allow that
she's a sweet girl ? " she resumed.
" Oh, certainly. As sweet as eau sucrfa, if
you choose and nearly as interesting ! "
" You are incorrigible ! " said Lady Muriel,
and turned to me. " I hope you found Mrs.
Mills an interesting companion ?"
" Oh, that's her name, is it ? " I said. " I
fancied there was more of it."
" So there is : and it will be ' at your proper
peril ' (whatever that may mean) if you ever
presume to address her as ' Mrs. Mills.' She
is 'Mrs. Ernest Atkinson Mills'!
160 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" She is one of those would-be grandees,"
said Arthur, " who think that, by tacking on to
their surname all their spare Christian-names,
with hyphens between, they can give it an
aristocratic flavour. As if it wasn't trouble
enough to remember one surname ! "
By this time the room was getting crowded,
as the guests, invited for the evening-party,
were beginning to arrive, and Lady Muriel
had to devote herself to the task of welcoming
them, which she did with the sweetest grace
imaginable. Sylvie and Bruno stood by her,
deeply interested in the process.
" I hope you like my friends ? " she said to
them. " Specially my dear old friend, Mein
Herr (What's become of him, I wonder ?
Oh, there he is !), that old gentleman in
spectacles, with a long beard ? "
" He's a grand old gentleman ! " Sylvie said,
gazing admiringly at ' Mein Herr,' who had
settled down in a corner, from which his mild
eyes beamed on us through a gigantic pair of
spectacles. " And what a lovely beard ! "
" What does he call his-self ? " Bruno
whispered.
xj JABBERING AND JAM. 161
"He calls himself ' Mein Herr,'" Sylvie
whispered in reply.
Bruno shook his head impatiently. " That's
what he calls his hair, not his self, oo silly ! "
He appealed to me. " What doos he call his
self, Mister Sir ? "
" That's the only name / know of," I said.
11 But he looks very lonely. Don't you pity his
grey hairs ? "
" I pities his self," said Bruno, still harping
on the misnomer; "but I doosn't pity his
hair, one bit. His hair ca'n't feel ! "
" We met him this afternoon," said Sylvie.
" We'd been to see Nero, and we'd had such
fun with him, making him invisible again !
And we saw that nice old gentleman as we
came back."
"Well, let's go and talk to him, and cheer
him up a little," I said : '' and perhaps we
shall find out what he calls himself,"
M
CHAPTER XI.
THE MAN IN THE MOON.
THE children came willingly. With one of
them on each side of me, I approached the
corner occupied by ' Mein Herr.' " You
don't object to children, I hope ? " I began.
" Crabbed age and youth cannot live to-
gether ! " the old man cheerfully replied, with
a most genial smile. " Now take a good look
at me, my children ! You would guess me to
be an old man, wouldn't you ? "
At first sight, though his face had reminded
me so mysteriously of " the Professor/' he
had seemed to be decidedly a younger man :
XI]
THE MAN IN THE MOON.
163
but, when I came to look into the wonderful
depth of those large dreamy eyes, I felt,
with a strange sense of awe, that he was in-
calculably older : he seemed to gaze at us
out of some by-gone age, centuries away.
" I don't know if oo're an old man," Bruno
answered, as the children, won over by the
gentle voice, crept a little closer to him. " I
thinks oo're eighty-three''
M 2
164 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" He is very exact ! " said Mein Herr.
"Is he anything like right ? " I said.
"There are reasons," Mein Herr gently
replied, " reasons which I am not at liberty
to explain, for not mentioning definitely any
Persons, Places, or Dates. One remark only
I will permit myself to make that the
period of life, between the ages of a hundred-
and-sixty-five and a hundred-and-seventy-five,
is a specially safe one."
"How do you make that out?" I said.
" Thus. You would consider swimming to
be a very safe amusement, if you scarcely
ever heard of any one dying of it. Am I
not right in thinking that you never heard of
any one dying between those two ages ? "
"I see what you mean," I said : "but I'm
afraid you ca'n't prove swimming to be safe,
on the same principle. It is no uncommon
thing to hear of some one being drowned"
"In my country," said Mein Herr, "no
one is ever drowned."
"Is there no water deep enough ? "
" Plenty ! But we ca'n't sink. We are all
lighter than water. Let me explain," he added,
XI] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 165
seeing my look of surprise. " Suppose you
desire a race of pigeons of a particular shape
or colour, do you not select, from year to
year, those that are nearest to the shape or
colour you want, and keep those, and part
with the others ? "
"We do," I replied. "We call it 'Arti-
ficial Selection."
" Exactly so," said Mein Herr. " Well, we
have practised that for some centuries con-
stantly selecting the lightest people : so that,
now, everybody is lighter than water."
" Then you never can be drowned at sea ?"
" Never ! It is only on the land for in-
stance, when attending a play in a theatre
that we are in such a danger.
"How can that happen at a theatre ? "
"Our theatres are all underground. Large
tanks of water are placed above. If a fire
breaks out, the taps are turned, and in one
minute the theatre is flooded, up to the very
roof! Thus the fire is extinguished."
" And the audience, I presume ? "
"That is a minor matter," Mein Herr care-
lessly replied. " But they have the comfort of
166 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
knowing that, whether drowned or not, they
are all lighter than water. We have not yet
reached the standard of making people lighter
than air : but we are aiming at it ; and, in
another thousand years or so
" What doos oo do wiz the peoples that's
too heavy ? " Bruno solemnly enquired.
" We have applied the same process," Mein
Herr continued, not noticing Bruno's ques-
tion, " to many other purposes. We have
gone on selecting walking-sticks always
keeping those that walked best till' we have
obtained some, that can walk by themselves !
We have gone on selecting cotton-wool, till we
have got some lighter than air ! You've no
idea what a useful material it is ! We call
it ' Imponderal.' '
'' What do you use it for ? "
"Well, chiefly for packing articles, to go
by Parcel-Post. It makes them weigh less
than nothing, you know."
" And how do the Post-Office people know
what you have to pay ? '
"That's the beauty of the new system!"
Mein Herr cried exultingly. "They pay us:
xi] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 167
we don't pay them ! I've often got as much
as five shillings for sending a parcel."
" But doesn't your Government object ? "
"Well, they do object, a little. They say
it comes so expensive, in the long run. But
the thing's as clear as daylight, by their own
rules. If I send a parcel, that weighs a
pound more than nothing, I pay three-pence :
so, of course, if it weighs a pound less than
nothing, I ought to receive three-pence."
"It is indeed a useful article ! " I said.
" Yet even ' Imponderal ' has its disadvan-
tages," he resumed. " I bought some, a few
days ago, and put it into my hat, to carry it
home, and the hat simply floated away ! "
" Had oo some of that funny stuff in oor hat
today?" Bruno enquired. " Sylvie and me
saw oo in the road, and oor hat were ever so
high up ! Weren't it, Sylvie ? "
" No, that was quite another thing," said
Mein Herr. " There was a drop or two of
rain falling : so I put my hat on the top of
my stick as an umbrella, you know. As I
came along the road," he continued, turning
to me, " I was overtaken by "
168 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
a shower of rain ? " said Bruno.
" Well, it looked more like the tail of a dog,"
Mein Herr replied. " It was the most curious
thing ! Something rubbed affectionately against
my knee. And I looked down. And I could
see nothing ! Only, about a yard off, there was
a dog's tail, wagging, all by itself! "
"Oh, Sylvie /" Bruno murmured reproach-
fully. " Oo didn't finish making him visible ! "
"I'm so sorry!" Sylvie said, looking very
penitent. " I meant to rub it along his back,
but we were in such a hurry. We'll go and
finish him tomorrow. Poor thing ! Perhaps
he'll get no supper tonight ! "
" Course he won't ! " said Bruno. " Nobody
never gives bones to a dog's tail ! "
Mein Herr looked from one to the other in
blank astonishment. " I do not understand
you," he said. " I had lost my way, and I was
consulting a pocket-map, and somehow I had
dropped one of my gloves, and this invisible
Something, that had rubbed against my knee,
actually brought it back to me ! "
" Course he did ! " said Bruno. " He's
welly fond of fetching things."
xi] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 169
Mein Herr looked so thoroughly bewildered
that I thought it best to change the subject.
" What a useful thing a pocket-map is ! " I
remarked.
" That's another thing we've learned from
your Nation," said Mein Herr, " map-making.
But we've carried it much further than you.
What do you consider the largest map that
would be really useful ? "
" About six inches to the mile. '
" Only six inches ! " exclaimed Mein Herr.
" We very soon got to six yards to the mile.
Then we tried a hundred yards to the mile.
And then came the grandest idea of all ! We
actually made a map of the country, on the
scale of a mile to the mile ! ' '
" Have you used it much ? " I enquired.
"It has never been spread out, yet," said
Mein Herr : " the farmers objected : they said
it would cover the whole country, and shut out
the sunlight ! So we now use the country it-
self, as its own map, and I assure you it does
nearly as well. Now let me ask you another
question. What is the smallest world you
would care to inhabit ? "
170 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"/ know!" cried Bruno, who was listening
intently. " I'd like a little teeny-tiny world,
just big enough for Sylvie and me ! "
" Then you would have to stand on opposite
sides of it," said Mein Herr. " And so you
would never see your sister at all /"
"And I'd have no lessons" said Bruno.
" You don't mean to say you've been trying
experiments in that direction ! " I said.
" Well, not experiments exactly. We do not
profess to construct planets. But a scientific
friend of mine, who has made several balloon-
voyages, assures me he has visited a planet so
small that he could walk right round it in
twenty minutes ! There had been a great
battle, just before his visit, which had ended
rather oddly : the vanquished army ran away
at full speed, and in a very few minutes found
themselves face-to-face with the victorious
army, who were marching home again, and
who were so frightened at finding themselves
between two armies, that they surrendered at
once ! Of course that lost them the battle,
though, as a matter of fact, they had killed all
the soldiers on the other side."
xi] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 171
" Killed soldiers cdrit run away," Bruno
thoughtfully remarked.
" ' Killed ' is a technical word," replied Mein
Herr. "In the little planet I speak of, the
bullets were made of soft black stuff, which
marked everything it touched. So, after a
battle, all you had to do was to count how
many soldiers on each side were ' killed '-
that means ' marked on the back? for marks in
front didn't count."
" Then you couldn't ' kill ' any, unless they
ran away ? " I said.
" My scientific friend found out a better
plan than that. He pointed out that, if only
the bullets were sent the other way round the
world, they would hit the enemy in the back.
After that, the worst marksmen were consid-
ered the best soldiers ; and the very worst of
all always got First Prize."
"And how did you decide which was the
very worst of all ? "
" Easily. The best possible shooting is, you
know, to hit what is exactly in front of you :
so of course the worst possible is to hit what
is exactly behind you."
172 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" They were strange people in that little
planet !" I said.
" They were indeed ! Perhaps their method
of government was the strangest of all. In
this planet, I am told, a Nation consists of a
number of Subjects, and one King : but, in
the little planet I speak of, it consisted of a
number of Kings, and one Subject ! "
" You say you are ' told ' what happens in
this planet," I said. "May I venture to guess
that you yourself are a visitor from some other
planet ? "
Bruno clapped his hands in his excitement.
" Is oo the Man-in-the-Moon ?" he cried.
Mein Herr looked uneasy. " I am not in
the Moon, my child," he said evasively. " To
return to what I was saying. I think that
method of government ought to answer well.
You see, the Kings would be sure to make
Laws contradicting each other : so the Subject
could never be punished, because, whatever he
did, he'd be obeying some Law."
" And, whatever he did, he'd be ^obeying
some Law ! " cried Bruno. " So he'd always
be punished ! "
xi] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 173
Lady Muriel was passing at the moment, and
caught the last word. " Nobody's going to
be punished here ! " she said, taking Bruno
in her arms. " This is Liberty-Hall ! Would
you lend me the children for a minute ? "
" The children desert us, you see," I said to
Mein Herr, as she carried them off: " so we
old folk must keep each other company ! "
The old man sighed. " Ah, well ! We're old
folk now ; and yet I was a child myself, once
at least I fancy so.'
It did seem a rather unlikely fancy, I could
not help owning to myself looking at the
shaggy white hair, and the long beard that
he could ever have been a child. " You are
fond of young people ? " I said.
" Young men" he replied. " Not of children
exactly. I used to teach young men many
a year ago in my dear old University ! "
" I didn't quite catch its name ? " I hinted.
" I did not name it," the old man replied
mildly. " Nor would you know the name if I
did. Strange tales I could tell you of all the
changes I have witnessed there ! But it would
weary you, I fear."
174 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" No, indeed! " I said. " Pray go on. What
kind of changes ? "
But the old man seemed to be more in a
humour for questions than for answers. " Tell
me," he said, laying his hand impressively on
my arm, " tell me something. For I am a
stranger in your land, and I know little of yoiir
modes of education : yet something tells me
we are further on than you in the eternal cycle
of change and that many a theory we have
tried and found to fail, you also will try, with
a wilder enthusiasm : you also will find to fail,
with a bitterer despair ! "
It was strange to see how, as he talked, and
his words flowed more and more freely, with a
certain rhythmic eloquence, his features seemed
to glow with an inner light, and the whole man
seemed to be transformed, as if he had grown
fifty years younger in a moment of time.
CHAPTER XII.
FAIRY-MUSIC.
THE silence that ensued was broken by the
voice of the musical young lady, who had seated
herself near us, and was conversing- with one of
the newly-arrived guests. " Well ! " she said in
a tone of scornful surprise. " We are to have
something new in the way of music, it appears ! "
I looked round for an explanation, and was
nearly as much astonished as the speaker her-
self : it was Sylvie whom Lady Muriel was
leading to the piano !
"Do try it, my darling!" she was saying.
"I'm sure you can play very nicely ! "
176 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Sylvie looked round at me, with tears in her
eyes. I tried to give her an encouraging
smile, but it was evidently a great strain on the
nerves of a child so wholly unused to be made
an exhibition of, and she was frightened and
unhappy. Yet here came out the perfect sweet-
ness of her disposition : I could see that she
was resolved to forget herself, and do her best
to give pleasure to Lady Muriel and her friends.
She seated herself at the instrument, and began
instantly. Time and expression, so far as one
could judge, were perfect : but her touch was
one of such extraordinary lightness that it was
at first scarcely possible, through the hum of
conversation which still continued, to catch a
note of what she was playing.
But in a minute the hum had died away into
absolute silence, and we all sat, entranced and
breathless, to listen to such heavenly music as
none then present could ever forget.
Hardly touching the notes at first, she played
a sort of introduction in a minor key like an
embodied twilight ; one felt as though the lights
were growing dim, and a mist were creeping
through the room. Then there flashed through
Xii] FAIRY-MUSIC. 177
the gathering gloom the first few notes of a
melody so lovely, so delicate, that one held
one's breath, fearful to lose a single note of it.
Ever and again the music dropped into the
pathetic minor key with which it had begun,
and, each time that the melody forced its way,
so to speak, through the enshrouding gloom
into the light of day, it was more entrancing,
more magically sweet. Under the airy touch
of the child, the instrument actually seemed
to warble, like a bird. " Rise up, my love, my
fair one" it seemed to sing, " and come away !
For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and
gone ; the flowers appear on the earth ; the time
of the singing of birds is come ! " One could
fancy one heard the tinkle of the last few
drops, shaken from the trees by a passing
gust that one saw the first glittering rays
of the sun, breaking through the clouds.
The Count hurried across the room in great
excitement. " I cannot remember myself," he
exclaimed, " of the name of this so charming
an air ! It is of an opera, most surely. Yet
not even will the opera remind his name to
me ! What you call him, dear child ? "
N
178 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Sylvie looked round at him with a rapt ex-
pression of face. She had ceased playing, but
her fingers still wandered fitfully over the keys.
All fear and shyness had quite passed away
now, and nothing remained but the pure joy
of the music that had thrilled our hearts.
" The title of it ! " the Count repeated im-
patiently. " How call you the opera ? "
" I don't know what an opera -is," Sylvie
half- whispered.
xn] FAIRY-MUSIC. 179
" How, then, call you the air ? "
" I don't know any name for it," Sylvie
replied, as she rose from the instrument.
" But this is marvellous ! " exclaimed the
Count, following the child, and addressing
himself to me, as if I were the proprietor of
this musical prodigy, and so must know the
origin of her music. "You have heard her
play this, sooner -I would say ' before this
occasion ' ? How call you the air ? "
I shook my head ; but was saved from more
questions by Lady Muriel, who came up to
petition the Count for a song.
The Count spread out his hands apologeti-
cally, and ducked his head. " But, Milady, I
have already respected 1 would say pro-
spected all your songs ; and there shall be
none fitted to my voice ! They are not for
basso voices ! "
" Wo'n't you look at them again ? " Lady
Muriel implored.
" Let's help him ! " Bruno whispered to
Sylvie. " Let's get him you know ! "
Sylvie nodded. " Shall we look for a song
for you ? " she said sweetly to the Count.
N 7.
i8o SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"Mais oui I " the little man exclaimed.
" Of course we may ! " said Bruno, while,
each taking a hand of the delighted Count,
they led him to the music-stand.
" There is still hope ! " said Lady Muriel
over her shoulder, as she followed them.
I turned to ' Mein Herr,' hoping to resume
our interrupted conversation. " You were re-
marking I began : but at this moment
Sylvie came to call Bruno, who had returned
to my side, looking unusually serious. " Do
come, Bruno ! " she entreated. " You know r
we've nearly found it ! " Then, in a whisper,
" The locket's in my hand, now. I couldn't
get it out while they were looking ! "
But Bruno drew back. " The man called
me names," he said with dignity.
" What names ? " I enquired with some
curiosity.
"I asked him," said Bruno, "which sort of
song he liked. And he said ' A song of a
man, not of a lady.' And I said ' Shall Syl-
vie and me find you the song of Mister Tot-
ties ?' And he said 'Wait, eel!' And I'm
not an eel, oo know ! "
xn] FAIRY-MUSIC. 181
" I'm sure he didn't mean it ! " Sylvie said
earnestly. "It's something French you
know he can't talk English so well as
Bruno relented visibly. " Course he knows
no better, if he's Flench ! Flenchmen never
can speak English so goodly as us ! " And
Sylvie led him away, a willing captive.
" Nice children ! " said the old man, taking
off his spectacles and rubbing them carefully.
Then he put them on again, and watched with
an approving smile, while the children tossed
over the heap of music, and we just caught
Sylvie's reproving words, " We're not making
hay, Bruno ! "
"This has been a long interruption to our
conversation," I said. " Pray let us go on ! "
" Willingly ! " replied the gentle old man.
" I was much interested in what you
He paused a moment, and passed his hand
uneasily across his brow. " One forgets," he
murmured. " W T hat was I saying ? Oh ! Some-
thing you were to tell me. Yes. Which of
your teachers do you value the most highly,
those whose words are easily understood, or
those who puzzle you at every turn ? "
182 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
I felt obliged to admit that we generally
admired most the teachers we couldn't quite
understand.
" Just so," said Mein Herr. " That's the
way it begins. Well, we were at that stage
some eighty years ago or was it ninety ? Our
favourite teacher got more obscure every year ;
and every year we admired him more just
as your Art-fanciers call mist the fairest feature
in a landscape, and admire a view with frantic
delight when they can see nothing! Now I'll
tell you how it ended. It was Moral Philosophy
that our idol lectured on. Well, his pupils
couldn't make head or tail of it, but they got
it all by heart ; and, when Examination-time
came, they wrote it down ; and the Examiners
said ' Beautiful ! What depth ! ' "
"But what good was it to the young men
afterwards ? "
" Why, don't you see ? " replied Mein Herr.
" They became teachers in their turn, and they
said all these things over again ; and their
pupils wrote it all down ; and the Examiners
accepted it ; and nobody had the ghost of an
idea what it all meant ! "
xii] FAIRY-MUSIC. 183
"And how did it end?"
"It ended this way. We woke up one fine
day, and found there was no one in the place
that knew anything about Moral Philosophy.
So we abolished it, teachers, classes, examiners,
and all. And if any one wanted to learn any-
thing about it, he had to make it out for
himself; and after another twenty years or so
there were several men that really knew some-
thing about it ! Now tell me another thing.
How long do you teach a youth before you
examine him, in your Universities ? "
I told him, three or four years.
" Just so, just what we did ! " he exclaimed.
" We taught 'em a bit, and, just as they were
beginning to take it in, we took it all out again !
We pumped our wells dry before they were a
quarter full we stripped our orchards while
the apples were still in blossom we applied
the severe logic of arithmetic to our chickens,
while peacefully slumbering in their shells !
Doubtless it's the early bird that picks up the
worm but if the bird gets up so outrageously
early that the worm is still deep underground,
what then is its chance of a breakfast ? "
184 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Not much, I admitted.
" Now see how that works ! " he went on
eagerly. "If you want to pump your wells
so soon and I suppose you tell me that is
what you must do ? "
" We must," I said. " In an over-crowded
country like this, nothing but Competitive
Examinations
Mein Herr threw up his hands wildly.
"What, again ?" he cried. " I thought it was
dead, fifty years ago ! Oh this Upas-tree of
Competitive Examinations ! Beneath whose
deadly shade all the original genius, all the
exhaustive research, all the untiring life-long
diligence by which our fore-fathers have so
advanced human knowledge, must slowly but
surely wither away, and give place to a sys-
tem of Cookery, in which the human mind is
a sausage, and all we ask is, how much indigest-
ible stuff can be crammed into it ! "
Always, after these bursts of eloquence, he
seemed to forget himself for a moment, and
only to hold on to the thread of thought by
some single word. " Yes, crammed," he re-
peated. "We went through all that stage of
XII] FAIRY-MUSIC. 185
the disease had it bad, I warrant you ! Of
course, as the Examination was all in all, we
tried to put in just what was wanted and the
great thing to aim at was, that the Candidate
should know absolutely nothing beyond the
needs of the Examination ! I don't say it was
ever quite achieved : but one of my own pupils
(pardon an old man's egotism) came very near
it. After the Examination, he mentioned to
me the few facts which he knew but had not
been able to bring in, and I can assure you
they were trivial, Sir, absolutely trivial ! "
I feebly expressed my surprise and delight.
The old man bowed, with a gratified smile,
and proceeded. " At that time, no one had
hit on the much more rational plan of watch-
ing for the individual scintillations of genius,
and rewarding them as they occurred. As it
was, we made our unfortunate pupil into a
Leyden-jar, charged him up to the eyelids
then applied the knob of a Competitive Ex-
amination, and drew off one magnificent spark,
which very often cracked the jar ! What
mattered that ? We labeled it ' First Class
Spark,' and put it away on the shelf."
186 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED
" But the more rational system - ? " I
suggested.
"Ah, yes! that came next. Instead of
giving the whole reward of learning in one
lump, we used to pay for every good answer as
it occurred. How well I remember lecturing
in those days, with a heap of small coins at my
elbow! It was 'A very good answer, Mr.
Jones ! ' (that meant a shilling, mostly). ' Bravo,
Mr. Robinson ! ' (that meant half-a-crown).
Now I'll tell you how that worked. Not one
single fact would any of them take in, without
a fee ! And when a clever boy came up from
school, he got paid more for learning than we
got paid for teaching him ! Then came the
wildest craze of all."
" What, another craze ? " I said.
"It's the last one," said the old man. " I
must have tired you out with my long story.
Each College wanted to get the clever boys :
so we adopted a system which we had heard
was very popular in England : the Colleges
competed against each other, and the boys
let themselves out to the highest bidder !
What geese we were ! Why, they were bound
xil] FAIRY-MUSIC. 187
to come to the University somehow. We
needn't have paid 'em ! And all our money
went in getting clever boys to come to one
College rather than another ! The competition
was so keen, that at last mere money-payments
were not enough. Any College, that wished
to secure some specially clever young man,
had to waylay him at the Station, and hunt
him through the streets. The first who
touched him was allowed to have him."
" That hunting-down of the scholars, as they
arrived, must have been a curious business,"
I said. " Could you give me some idea of
what it was like ? "
" Willingly ! " said the old man. " I will
describe to you the very last Hunt that took
place, before that form of Sport (for it was
actually reckoned among the Sports of the
day: we called it 'Cub-Hunting') was finally
abandoned. 1 witnessed it myself, as I hap-
pened to be passing by at the moment, and
was what we called ' in at the death.' I can
see it now ! " he went on in an excited tone,
gazing into vacancy with those large dreamy
eyes of his. "It seems like yesterday ; and
1 88
SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
yet it happened He checked himself
hastily, and the remaining words died away
into a whisper.
"How many years ago did you say?" I
asked, much interested in the prospect of at
last learning some definite fact in his history.
" Many years ago," he replied. " The scene
at the Railway-Station had been (so they told
me) one of wild excitement. Eight or nine
Heads of Colleges had assembled at the gates
(no one was allowed inside), and the Station-
Master had drawn a line on the pavement,
and insisted on their all standing behind it.
XII]
FAIRY-MUSIC.
189
The gates were flung open ! The young man
darted through them, and fled like lightning
down the street, while the Heads of Colleges
actually yelled with excitement on catching
sight of him ! The Proctor gave the word,
in the old statutory form, ' Seme I ! Bis ! Ter !
Currite!\ and the Hunt began! Oh, it was
a fine sight, believe me ! At the first corner
he dropped his Greek Lexicon : further on,
his railway-rug : then various small articles :
I 9 o SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
then his umbrella : lastly, what I suppose he
prized most, his hand-bag : but the game was
up : the spherical Principal of - of
"Of which College?" I said.
of one of the Colleges," he resumed,
"had put into operation the Theory his own
discovery of Accelerated Velocity, and cap-
tured him just opposite to where I stood. I
shall never forget that wild breathless struggle !
But it was soon over. Once in those great
bony hands, escape was impossible ! "
" May I ask why you speak of him as the
' spherical' Principal?" I said.
" The epithet referred to his shape, which
was a perfect sphere. You are aware that
a bullet, another instance of a perfect sphere,
when falling in a perfectly straight line, moves
with Accelerated Velocity ? "
I bowed assent.
" Well, my spherical friend (as I am proud
to call him) set himself to investigate the
causes of this. He found them to be three.
One ; that it is a perfect sphere. Two ; that
it moves in a straight line. Three ; that its
direction is not upwards. When these three
xn] FAIRY-MUSIC. 191
conditions are fulfilled, you get Accelerated
Velocity."
" Hardly," I said : "' if you will excuse my
differing from you. Suppose we apply the
theory to horizontal motion. If a bullet is
fired horizontally, it
- it does not move in a straight line"
he quietly finished my sentence for me.
" I yield the point," I said. " What did
your friend do next ? "
" The next thing was to apply the theory,
as you rightly suggest, to horizontal motion.
But the moving body, ever tending to fall,
needs constant support, if it is to move in a
true horizontal line. ' What, then/ he asked
himself, ' will give constant support to a mov-
ing body ? ' And his answer was ' Human
legs ! ' That was the discovery that immor-
talised his name ! "
" His name being ? " I suggested.
" I had not mentioned it," was the gentle
reply of my most unsatisfactory informant.
" His next step was an obvious one. He
took to a diet of suet-dumplings, until his
body had become a perfect sphere. Then
192 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
he went out for his first experimental run
which nearly cost him his life ! "
" How was
" Well, you see, he had no idea of the tre-
mendoiis new Force in Nature that he was
calling into play. He began too fast. In a
very few minutes he found himself moving at
a hundred miles an hour ! And, if he had
not had the presence of mind to charge into
the middle of a haystack (which he scattered
to the four winds) there can be no doubt that
he would have left the Planet he belonged to,
and gone right away into Space ! "
" And how came that to be the last of the
Cub- Hunts?" I enquired.
" Well, you see, it led to a rather scandal-
ous dispute between two of the Colleges.
Another Principal had laid his hand on the
young man, so nearly at the same moment
as the spherical one, that there was no know-
ing which had touched him first. The dispute
got into print, and did us no credit, and, in
short, Cub- Hunts came to an end. Now I'll
tell you what cured us of that wild craze of
ours, the bidding against each other, for the
xil] FAIRY-MUSIC. 193
clever scholars, just as if they were articles
to be sold by auction ! Just when the craze
had reached its highest point, and when one
of the Colleges had actually advertised a
Scholarship of one thousand pounds per
annum, one of our tourists brought us the
manuscript of an old African legend 1
happen to have a copy of it in my pocket.
Shall I translate it for you ? "
" Pray go on," I said, though I felt I was
getting very sleepy.
CHAPTER XIII.
WHAT TOTTLES MEANT.
MEIN Herr unrolled the manuscript, but, to
my great surprise, instead of reading it, he
began to sing it, in a rich mellow voice that
seemed to ring through the room.
" One thousand pounds per annuum
Is not so bad a figure, come ! "
Cried Tattles. "And I tell you, flat,
A man may marry well on that !
To say ' the Husband needs the Wife '
Is not the way to represent it.
The crowning joy of Woman s life
Is Man ! " said J^ottles (and he meant it}.
xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 195
The blissful Honey-moon is past :
The Pair have settled down at last :
Mamma-in-laiv their home zvill share,
And make their happiness her care.
" Your income is an ample one ;
Go if, my children!" (And they went if).
"I rayther think this kind of fun
Wont last!" said Tottles (and lie meant if).
They took a little country-box-
A box at Covent Garden also:
They lived a life of double-knocks,
Acquaintances began to call so ;
Their London house zvas much the same
(It took three hundred, clear, to rent if):
" Life is a very jolly game ! "
Cried happy Tottles (and he meant if).
' Contented with a frugal lot '
(He always used that phrase at Gunters),
He bought a handy little yacht
A dozen serviceable Jmnters
The fishing of a Highland Loch
A sailing-boat to circumvent it
" The sounding- of that Gaelic ' och '
Beats me ! " said Tottles (and he meant if)."
O 2
196 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Here, with one of those convulsive starts
that wake one up in the very act of dropping
off to sleep, I became conscious that the deep
musical tones that thrilled me did not belong
to Mein Herr, but to the French Count. The
old man was still conning the manuscript.
" I beg your pardon for keeping you wait-
ing!" he said. " I was just making sure that
I knew the English for all the words. I am
quite ready now." And he read me the fol-
lowing Legend :
" In a city that stands in the very centre
of Africa, and is rarely visited by the casual
tourist, the people had always bought eggs
a daily necessary in a climate where egg-flip
was the usual diet from a Merchant who
came to their gates once a week. And the
people always bid wildly against each other :
so there was quite a lively auction every time
the Merchant came, and the last egg in his
basket used to fetch the value of two or three
camels, or thereabouts. And eggs got dearer
every week. And still they drank their egg-
flip, and wondered where all their money
went to.
XIII]
WHAT TOTTLES MEANT
197
" And there came a day when they put their
heads together. And they understood what
donkeys they had been.
"And next day, when the Merchant came,
only one Man went forth. And he said ' Oh,
thou of the hook-nose and the goggle-eyes,
thou of the measureless beard, how much for
that lot of eggs ? '
198 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" And the Merchant answered him ' I could
let thee have that lot at ten thousand piastres
the dozen.'
"And the Man chuckled inwardly, and said
' Ten piastres the dozen I offer thee, and no
more, oh descendant of a distinguished grand-
father ! '
"And the Merchant stroked his beard, and
said ' Hum ! I will await the coming of thy
friends.' So he waited. And the Man waited
with him. And they waited both together."
" The manuscript breaks off here," said
Mein Herr, as he rolled it up again; "but
it was enough to open our eyes. We saw
what simpletons we had been buying our
Scholars much as those ignorant savages
bought their eggs and the ruinous system
was abandoned. If only we could have aban-
doned, along with it, all the other fashions we
had borrowed from you, instead of carrying
them to their logical results ! But it was not
to be. What ruined my country, and drove
me from my home, was the introduction
into the Army, of all places of your theory
of Political Dichotomy ! "
xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT, 199
"Shall I trouble you too much," I said, "if
I ask you to explain what you mean by ' the
Theory of Political Dichotomy ' ? "
" No trouble at all ! " was Mein Herr's most
courteous reply. " I quite enjoy talking, when
I get so good a listener. What started the
thing, with us, was the report brought to us,
by one of our most eminent statesmen, who
had stayed some time in England, of the way
affairs were managed there. It was a political
necessity (so he assured us, and we believed
him, though we had never discovered it till
that moment) that there should be two Parties,
in every affair and on every subject. In
Politics, the two Parties, which you had found
it necessary to institute, were called, he told
us, ' Whigs ' and ' Tories '."
" That must have been some time ago ? "
I remarked.
" It was some time ago," he admitted.
"And this was the way the affairs of the
British Nation were managed. (You will
correct me if I misrepresent it. I do but
repeat what our traveler told us.) These
two Parties which were in chronic hostility
200 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
to each other took turns in conducting the
Government ; and the Party, that happened
not to be in power, was called the ' Opposition',
I believe ? "
" That is the right name," I said. " There
have always been, so long as we have had a
Parliament at all, two Parties, one ' in ', and
one 'out'."
"Well, the function of the 'Ins' (if I may
so call them) was to do the best they could
for the national welfare in such things as
making war or peace, commercial treaties, and
so forth ? "
(( Undoubtedly," I said.
"And the function of the 'Outs' was (so
our traveller assured us, though we were very
incredulous at first) to prevent the ' Ins ' from
succeeding in any of these things ? "
" To criticize and to amend their proceed-
ings," I corrected him. "It would be un-
patriotic to hinder the Government in doing
what was for the good of the Nation ! We
have always held a Patriot to be the greatest
of heroes, and an unpatriotic spirit to be one
of the worst of human ills ! "
xni] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 201
"Excuse me for a moment," the old gentle-
man courteously replied, taking out his pocket-
book. " I have a few memoranda here, of a
correspondence I had with our tourist, and,
if you will allow me, I'll just refresh my mem-
ory although I quite agree with you it
is, as you say, one of the worst of human
ills And, here Mein Herr began singing
again :
But oh, the worst of human ills
(Poor Tottles found} are ' little bills ' !
And, with no balance in the Bank,
What wonder that his spirits sank?
Still, as the money flozved away,
He wondered how on earth she spent it,
" You cost me tiventy pounds a day,
At least ! " cried Tottles (and he meant it].
Slie sighed. " TJwse Draiving Rooms, you know!
I really never thought about it :
Mamma declared we ought to go
We should be Nobodies without it.
That diamond-circlet for my brow
/ quite believed that she had sent it,
Until tJie Bill came in just noiv
"Viper!" cried Tottles (and Jie meant it}.
202 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Poor Mrs, T. could bear no more,
But fainted flat upon the floor.
Mamma-in-laiv, with anguish wild,
Seeks, all in vain, to rouse her child.
" Quick ! Take this box of smelling-salts !
Dont scold her, James, or you'll repent it,
She's a dear girl, with all her fait Its
" She is ! " groaned Tattles (and he meant it].
" I was a donkey" Tottles cried,
" To choose your daughter for my bride !
' Twas you that bid us cut a dash !
' Tis you have brougJtt us to this smash !
You don't suggest one single thing
That can in any ivay prevent it -
Then whafs the use of arguing?
Shut up ! " cried Tottles (and he meant it}.
Once more I started into wakefulness, and
realised that Mein Herr was not the singer.
He was still consulting his memoranda.
" It is exactly what my friend told me," he
resumed, after conning over various papers.
"'Unpatriotic' is the very word I had used,
in writing to him, and ''hinder' is the very
word he used in his reply ! Allow me to read
you a portion of his letter :
xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 203
"'/ can assure you' he writes, 'that, un-
patriotic as yoit may think it, the recognised
function of the ' Opposition ' is to hinder, in
every manner not forbidden by the Law, the
action of the Government. This process is
called ' Legitimate Obstruction ' : and the great-
est triumph the ' Opposition ' can ever enjoy,
is when they are able to point out that, owing
to their ' Obstruction ', the Government have
failed in everything they have tried to do for
the good of the Nation ! '
" Your friend has not put it quite correctly,"
I said. "The Opposition would no doubt be
glad to point out that the Government had
failed through their own fault ; but not that
they had failed on account of Obstruction ! "
" You think so ?" he gently replied. " Allow
me now to read to you this newspaper-cutting,
which my friend enclosed in his letter. It is
part of the report of a public speech, made
by a Statesman who was at the time a mem-
ber of the ' Opposition ' :
" ' At the close of the Session, he thought
they had no reason to be discontented with the
204 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
fortunes of the campaign. They had routed
the enemy at every point. But the pursuit
must be continued. They had only to follow
up a disordered and dispirited foe. ' '
" Now to what portion of your national
history would you guess that the speaker
was referring ? "
" Really, the number of successful wars we
have waged during the last century," I replied,
with a glow of British pride, " is far too great
for me to guess, with any chance of success,
which it was we were then engaged in. How-
ever, I will name ' India ' as the most prob-
able. The Mutiny was no doubt, all but
crushed, at the time that speech was made.
What a fine, manly, patriotic speech it must
have been ! " I exclaimed in an outburst
of enthusiasm.
" You think so ? " he replied, in a tone of
gentle pity. " Yet my friend tells me that
the ' disordered and dispirited foe ' simply
meant the Statesmen who happened to be in
power at the moment ; that the 'pursuit '
simply meant ' Obstruction ' ; and that the
xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 205
words ' they had routed the enemy ' simply
meant that the ' Opposition ' had succeeded in
hindering the Government from doing any of
the work which the Nation had empowered
them to do!"
I thought it best to say nothing.
" It seemed queer to MS, just at first," he
resumed, after courteously waiting a minute
for me to speak : " but, when once we had mas-
tered the idea, our respect for your Nation
was so great that we carried it into every
department of life ! It was ' the beginning of
the end" with us. My country never held up
its head again ! " And the poor old gentleman
sighed deeply.
" Let us change the subject," I said. " Do
not distress yourself, I beg ! "
" No, no ! " he said, with an effort to recover
himself. " I had rather finish my story ! The
next step (after reducing our Government to
impotence, and putting a stop to all useful
legislation, which did not take us long to do)
was to introduce what we called ' the glorious
British Principle of Dichotomy ' into Agricul-
ture, We persuaded many of the well-to-do
206 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
farmers to divide their staff of labourers into
two Parties, and to set them one against the
other. They were called, like our political
Parties, the 'Ins' and the 'Outs' : the business
of the 'Ins' was to do as much of ploughing,
sowing, or whatever might be needed, as they
could manage in a day, and at night they were
paid according to the amount they had done :
the business of the ' Outs ' was to hinder them,
and they were paid for the amount they had
hindered. The farmers found they had to pay
only half as much wages as they did before,
and they didn't observe that the amount of
work done was only a quarter as much as was
done before: so they took it up quite enthu-
siastically, at first"
" And afterwards - ? " I enquired.
"Well, afterwards they didn't like it quite
so well. In a very short time, things settled
down into a regular routine. No work at all
was done. So the ' Ins ' got no wages, and
the ' Outs ' got full pay. And the farmers
never discovered, till most of them were
ruined, that the rascals had agreed to manage
it so, and had shared the pay between them !
xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 207
While the thing lasted, there were funny sights
to be seen ! Why, I've often watched a
ploughman, with two horses harnessed to the
plough, doing his best to get it forwards; while
the opposition-ploughman, with three donkeys
harnessed at the other end, was doing his best
to get it backwards ! And the plough never
moving an inch, either way ! "
" But we never did anything like that!" I
exclaimed.
" Simply because you were less logical than
we were," replied Mein Herr ".There is
sometimes an advantage in being a donk
Excuse me ! No personal allusion intended.
All this happened long ago, you know ! "
" Did the Dichotomy-Principle succeed in
any direction ? " I enquired.
" In none," Mein Herr candidly confessed.
" It had a very short trial in Commerce. The
shop-keepers wouldn't take it up, after once
trying the plan of having half the attendants
busy in folding up and carrying away the
goods which the other half were trying to
spread out upon the counters. They said the
Public didn't like it ! "
208 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" I don't wonder at it," I remarked.
" Well, we tried ' the British Principle ' for
some years. And the end of it all was "
His voice suddenly dropped, almost to a
whisper ; and large tears began to roll down
his cheeks. " the end was that we got in-
volved in a war ; and there was a great battle,
in which we far out-numbered the enemy.
But what could one expect, when only half of
our soldiers were fighting, and the other half
pulling them back ? It ended in a crushing
defeat an utter rout. This caused a Revolu-
tion ; and most of the Government were
banished. I myself was accused of Treason,
for having so strongly advocated ' the British
Principle.' My property was all forfeited,
and and 1 was driven into exile! ' Now
the mischief's done,' they said, ' perhaps you'll
kindly leave the country ? ' It nearly broke
my heart, but I had to go ! "
The melancholy tone became a wail : the
wail became a chant : the chant became a
song though whether it was Mein Herr that
was singing, this time, or somebody else, I
could not feel certain.
xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 209
"And, now the mischiefs done, perhaps
You'll kindly go and pack your traps ?
Since two (your daughter and your son}
Are Company, but three are none.
A course of saving we'll begin :
When change is needed, I'll invent it:
Don't think to put your finger in
This pie ! " cried Tattles (and he meant if).
The music seemed to die away. Mein Herr
was again speaking in his ordinary voice.
" Now tell me one thing more," he said. " Am
I right in thinking that in your Universities,
though a man may reside some thirty or forty
years, you examine him, once for all, at the
end of the first three or four ? "
" That is so, undoubtedly," I admitted.
" Practically, then, you examine a man at the
beginning of his career ! " the old man said
to himself rather than to me. " And what
guarantee have you that he retains the know-
ledge for which you have rewarded him
beforehand, as we should say ? "
" None," I admitted, feeling a little puzzled
at the drift of his remarks. <( How do you
secure that object ? "
p
210 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" By examining him at the end of his thirty
or forty years not at the beginning," he
gently replied. " On an average, the know-
ledge then found is about one-fifth of what
it was at first the process of forgetting
going on at a very steady uniform rate and
he, who forgets least, gets most honour, and
most rewards."
" Then you give him the money when he
needs it no longer ? And you make him live
most of his life on nothing ! "
" Hardly that. He gives his orders to the
tradesmen : they supply him, for forty, some-
times fifty, years, at their own risk : then he
gets his Fellowship which pays him in one
year as much as your Fellowships pay in fifty
and then he can easily pay all his bills,
with interest."
" But suppose he fails to get his Fellowship ?
That must occasionally happen."
" That occasionally happens." It was Mein
Herr's turn, now, to make admissions.
" And what becomes of the tradesmen ?"
" They calculate accordingly. When a man
appears to be getting alarmingly ignorant, or
xill] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 211
stupid, they will sometimes refuse to supply
him any longer. You have no idea with what
enthusiasm a man will begin to rub up his
forgotten sciences or languages, when his
butcher has cut off the supply of beef and
mutton ! "
" And who are the Examiners ? "
" The young men who have just come,
brimming over with knowledge. You would
think it a curious sight," he went on, " to
see mere boys examining such old men. I
have known a man set to examine his own
grandfather. It was a little painful for both
of them, no doubt. The old gentleman was
as bald as a coot
" How bald would that be?" I've no idea
why I asked this question. I felt I was getting
foolish.
CHAPTER XIV
BRUNO'S PICNIC.
" As bald as bald," was the bewildering
reply. " Now, Bruno, I'll tell you a story."
"And I'll tell oo a story," said Bruno, begin-
ning in a great hurry for fear of Sylvie getting
the start of him : " once there were a Mouse
a little tiny Mouse such a tiny little Mouse !
Oo never saw such a tiny Mouse
" Did nothing ever happen to it, Bruno ? " I
asked. " Haven't you anything more to tell
us, besides its being so tiny ? "
" Nothing never happened to it," Bruno
solemnly replied.
xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 213
" Why did nothing never happen to it ? " said
Sylvie, who was sitting, with her head on
Bruno's shoulder, patiently waiting for a chance
of beginning her story.
" It were too tiny," Bruno explained.
''That's no reason!" I said. "However
tiny it was, things might happen to it."
Bruno looked pityingly at me, as if he thought
me very stupid. "It were too tiny," he repeated.
" If anything happened to it, it would die-
it were so very tiny ! "
" Really that's enough about its being tiny ! "
Sylvie put in. " Haven't you invented any more
about it ? "
" Haven't invented no more yet."
" Well then, you shouldn't begin a story till
you've invented more ! Now be quiet, there's
a good boy, and listen to my story."
And Bruno, having quite exhausted all his
inventive faculty, by beginning in too great
a hurry, quietly resigned himself to listening.
" Tell about the other Bruno, please," he said
coaxingly.
Sylvie put her arms round his neck, and
began :
214 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" The wind was whispering among the trees,"
("That wasn't good manners!" Bruno in-
terrupted. " Never mind about manners/'' said
Sylvie) " and it was evening a nice moony
evening, and the Owls were hooting
" Pretend they weren't Owls! " Bruno pleaded,
stroking her cheek with his fat little hand. " I
don't like Owls. Owls have such great big eyes.
Pretend they were Chickens ! "
" Are you afraid of their great big eyes,
Bruno ? " I said.
" Aren't 'fraidot nothing," Bruno answered in
as careless a tone as he could manage : " they're
ugly with their great big eyes. I think if they
cried, the tears would be as big oh, as big as
the moon ! " And he laughed merrily. " Doos
Owls cry ever, Mister Sir ? "
" Owls cry never," I said gravely, trying to
copy Bruno's way of speaking : " they've got
nothing to be sorry for, you know."
" Oh, but they have ! " Bruno exclaimed.
"They're ever so sorry, 'cause they killed the
poor little Mouses ! "
" But they're not sorry when they're hungry,
I suppose ? "
xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 215
" Oo don't know nothing about Owls!" Bruno
scornfully remarked. " When they're hungry,
they're very, very sorry they killed the little
Mouses, 'cause if they hadrtt killed them there'd
be sumfin for supper, oo know ! "
Bruno was evidently getting into a danger-
ously inventive state of mind, so Sylvie broke in
with " Now I'm going on with the story. So
the Owls the Chickens, I mean were look-
ing to see if they could find a nice fat Mouse
for their supper
" Pretend it was a nice 'abbit ! " said Bruno.
" But it wasrit a nice habit, to kill Mouses,"
Sylvie argued. " I can't pretend that /"
" I didn't say ' habit] oo silly fellow ! " Bruno
replied with a merry twinkle in his eye. " Bab-
bits that runs about in the fields ! "
" Rabbit ? Well it can be a Rabbit, if you like.
But you mustn't alter my story so much, Bruno.
A Chicken couldnt eat a Rabbit ! "
" But it might have wished to see if it could
try to eat it."
" Well, it wished to see if it could try oh,
really, Bruno, that's nonsense ! I shall go back
to the Owls."
216 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Well then, pretend they hadn't great eyes ! "
" And they saw a little Boy," Sylvie went
on, disdaining to make any further corrections.
" And he asked them to tell him a story. And
the Owls hooted and flew away (" Oo
shouldn't say ' flewed ;' oo should say ' flied? '
Bruno whispered. But Sylvie wouldn't hear.)
" And he met a Lion. And he asked the Lion
to tell him a story. And the Lion said ' yes/
it would. And, while the Lion was telling him
the story, it nibbled some of his head off
" Don't say ' nibbled ' ! " Bruno entreated.
" Only little things nibble little thin sharp
things, with edges
" Well then, it ' nubbled,' " said Sylvie. " And
when it had nubbled alt his head off, he went
away, and he never said ' thank you ' ! "
" That were very rude," said Bruno. " If he
couldn't speak, he might have nodded no,
he couldn't nod. Well, he might have shaked
hands with the Lion ! "
<( Oh, I'd forgotten that part!" said Sylvie.
" He did shake hands with it. He came back
again, you know, and he thanked the Lion very
much, for telling him the story."
xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 217
" Then his head had growed up again ? " said
Bruno.
" Oh yes, it grew up in a minute. And the
Lion begged pardon, and said it wouldn't nubble
off little boys' heads not never no more ! "
Bruno looked much pleased at this change of
events. "Now that are a really nice story!"
he said. " Arerit it a nice story, Mister Sir ? "
"Very," I said. " I would like to hear an-
other story about that Boy."
" So would /," said Brunp, stroking Sylvie's
cheek again. "Please tell about Bruno's Pic-
nic ; and don't talk about nubbly Lions ! "
" I won't, if it frightens you," said Sylvie.
" Flightens me ! " Bruno exclaimed indig-
nantly. "It isn't that \ -It's 'cause ' nubbly ' 's
such a grumbly word to say when one per-
son 's got her head on another person's shoul-
der. When she talks like that," he explained
to me, "the talking goes down bofe sides of
my face all the way to my chin and it
doos tickle so ! It's enough to make a beard
grow, that it is ! "
He said this with great severity, but it was
evidently meant for a joke : so Sylvie laughed
2i8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
a delicious musical little laugh, and laid her
soft cheek on the top of her brother's curly
head, as if it were a pillow, while she went on
with the story. " So this Boy -
" But it wasn't me, oo know ! " Bruno inter-
rupted. "And oo needn't try to look as if
it was, Mister Sir ! "
I represented, respectfully, that I was trying
to look as if it wasn't.
" he was a middling good Boy "
"He were a welly good Boy ! " Bruno cor-
rected her. "And he never did nothing he
wasn't told to do "
" That doesn't make a good Boy ! " Sylvie
said contemptuously.
" That do make a good Boy ! " Bruno in-
sisted.
Sylvie gave up the point. " Well, he was
a very good Boy, and he always kept his pro-
mises, and he had a big cupboard
- for to keep all his promises in ! " cried
Bruno.
" If he kept all his promises," Sylvie said,
with a mischievous look in her eyes, " he wasn't
like some Boys I know of! "
xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 219
" He had to put salt with them, a-course,"
Bruno said gravely : " oo ca'n't keep promises
when there isn't any salt. And he kept his
birthday on the second shelf."
" How long did he keep his birthday ? " I
asked. <: I never can keep mine more than
twenty-four hours."
" Why, a birthday stays that long by itself! "
cried Bruno. "Oo doosn't know how to keep
birthdays ! This Boy kept his a whole year ! "
" And then the next birthday would begin,"
said Sylvie. " So it would be his birthday
always"
"So it were," said Bruno. " Doos oo have
treats on oor birthday, Mister Sir ? "
" Sometimes," I said.
"When oo're ^wdf, I suppose ?"
" Why, it is a sort of treat, being good, isn't
it ? " I said.
"A sort of treat-!" Bruno repeated. " It's
a sort of punishment, I think ! "
" Oh, Bruno ! " Sylvie interrupted, almost
sadly. "How can you ? "
" Well, but it is" Bruno persisted. " Why.
look here, Mister Sir! This is being good!"
220 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
And he sat bolt upright, and put on an
absurdly solemn face. " First oo must sit up
as straight as pokers
- as a poker," Sylvie corrected him.
- as straight as pokers" Bruno firmly
repeated. " Then oo must clasp oor hands
so. Then ' Why hasn't oo brushed oor
hair ? Go and brush it toreckly ! ' Then
' Oh, Bruno, oo mustn't dog's-ear the daisies ! '
Did oo learn oor spelling wiz daisies, Mister
Sir ? "
" I want to hear about that Boy's Birthday''
I said.
Bruno returned to the story instantly.
" Well, so this Boy said 'Now it's my Birth-
day ! ' And so I'm tired ! " he suddenly broke
off, laying his head in Sylvie's lap. " Sylvie
knows it best. Sylvie's grown-upper than me.
Go on, Sylvie ! "
Sylvie patiently took up. the thread of the
story again. "So he said ' Now it's my
Birthday. Whatever shall I do to keep my
Birthday ? All good little Boys " (Sylvie
turned away from Bruno, and made a great pre-
tence of whispering to me] " all good little
xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 221
Boys Boys that learn their lessons quite
perfect - they always keep their birthdays,
you know. So of course this little Boy kept
his Birthday."
" Oo may call him Bruno, if oo like," the
little fellow carelessly remarked. " It weren't
me, but it makes it more interesting."
" So Bruno said to himself ' The properest
thing to do is to have a Picnic, all by myself,
on the top of the hill. And I'll take some
Milk, and some Bread, and some Apples : and
first and foremost, I want some Milk T So,
first and foremost, Bruno took a milk-pail
" And he went and milkted the Cow ! "
Bruno put in.
" Yes," said Sylvie, meekly accepting the
new verb. " And the Cow said ' Moo ! What
are you going to do with all that Milk ? ' And
Bruno said ' Please'm, I want it for my Picnic.'
And the Cow said ' Moo ! But I hope you
wo'n't boil any of it ? ' And Bruno said ' No,
indeed I won't! New Milk's so nice and so
warm, it wants no boiling ! ' :
" It doesn't want no boiling," Bruno offered
as an amended version.
222 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" So Bruno put the Milk in a bottle. And
then Bruno said 'Now I want some Bread!'
So he went to the Oven, and he took out a
delicious new Loaf. And the Oven
" ever so light and so puffy!" Bruno
impatiently corrected her " Oo shouldn't
leave out so many words ! "
Sylvie humbly apologised. " a delicious
new Loaf, ever so light and so puffy. And
the Oven said Here Sylvie made a long
pause. " Really I don't know what an Oven
begins with, when it wants to speak ! "
Both children looked appealingly at me ; but
I could only say, helplessly, " I haven't the
least idea ! / never heard an Oven speak ! "
For a minute or two we all sat silent ; and
then Bruno said, very softly, " Oven begins
wiz ' O '."
" Good little boy ! " Sylvie exclaimed. " He
does his spelling very nicely. Hes cleverer
than he knows ! " she added, aside, to me.
" So the Oven said ' O ! What are you going
to do with all that Bread ? ' And Bruno said
' Please Is an Oven ' Sir ' or ' 'm,' would
you say ? " She looked to me for a reply.
Xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 223
" Both, I think," seemed to me the safest
thing to say.
Sylvie adopted the suggestion instantly.
" So Bruno said ' Please, Sirm, I want it for
my Picnic.' And the Oven said 'O! But I
hope you wo'n't toast any of it ? ' And Bruno
said ' No, indeed I wo'n't ! New Bread's so
light and so puffy, it wants no toasting ! '
" It never doesn't want no toasting," said
Bruno. " I wiss oo wouldn't say it so short! "
" So Bruno put the Bread in the hamper.
Then Bruno said ' Now I want some Apples ! '
So he took the hamper, and he went to the
Apple-Tree, and he picked some lovely ripe
Apples. And the Apple-Tree said"- Here
followed another long pause.
Bruno adopted his favourite expedient of
tapping his forehead ; while Sylvie gazed
earnestly upwards, as if she hoped for some
suggestion from the birds, who were singing
merrily among the branches overhead. But
no result followed.
" What does an Apple-tree begin with, when
it wants to speak ? " Sylvie murmured despair-
ingly, to the irresponsive birds.
224 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
At last, taking a leaf out of Bruno's book,
I ventured on a remark. " Doesn't ' Apple-
tree' always begin with 'Eh!'?"
"Why, of course it does! How clever of
you ! " Sylvie cried delightedly.
Bruno jumped up, and patted me on the
head. I tried not to feel conceited.
"So the Apple-Tree said 'Eh! What are
you going to do with all those Apples ? ' And
Bruno said ' Please, Sir, I want them for
my Picnic.' And the Apple-Tree said ' Eh !
But I hope you wo'n't bake any of them ? '
And Bruno said ' No, indeed I wo'n't ! Ripe
Apples are so nice and so sweet, they want
no baking ! ' '
" They never doesn't Bruno was be-
ginning, but Sylvie corrected herself before
he could get the words out.
" ' They never doesn't nohow want no
baking.' So Bruno put the Apples in the
hamper, along with the Bread, and the bottle
of Milk. And he set off to have a Picnic,
on the top of the hill, all by himself
" He wasn't greedy, oo know, to have it all
by himself," Bruno said, patting me on the
xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 225
cheek to call my attention ; " 'cause he hadn't
got no brothers and sisters."
"It was very sad to have no sisters, wasn't
it ? " I said.
"Well, I don't know," Bruno said thought-
fully ; " 'cause he hadn't no lessons to do. So
he didn't mind."
Sylvie went on. "So, as he was walking
along the road, he heard behind him such a
curious sort of noise a sort of a Thump !
Thump ! Thump ! ' Whatever is that ? ' said
Bruno. ' Oh, I know ! ' said Bruno. ' Why,
it's only my Watch a-ticking ! ' '
"Were it his Watch a-ticking?" Bruno
asked me, with eyes that fairly sparkled with
mischievous delight.
" No doubt of it ! " I replied. And Bruno
laughed exultingly.
"Then Bruno thought a little harder. And
he said 'No! It cant be my Watch a-tick-
ing ; because I haven't got a Watch ! ' :
Bruno peered up anxiously into my face,
to see how I took it. I hung my head, and
put a thumb into my mouth, to the evident
delight of the little fellow.
o
226 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED
" So Bruno went a little further along the
road. And then he heard it again, that queer
noise Thump ! Thump ! Thump ! ' What
ever is that ? ' said Bruno. ' Oh, I know ! '
said Bruno. ' Why, it's only the Carpenter
a-mending my Wheelbarrow ! '
" Were it the Carterpenter a-mending his
Wheelbarrow ? " Bruno asked me.
I brightened up, and said "It must have
been ! " in a tone of absolute conviction.
Bruno threw his arms round Sylvie's neck.
" Sylvie ! " he said, in a perfectly audible
whisper. "He says it must have been!"
" Then Bruno thought a little harder. And
he said ' No ! It cant be the Carpenter
amending my Wheelbarrow, because I haven't
got a Wheelbarrow ! '
This time I hid my face in my hands, quite
unable to meet Bruno's look of triumph.
" So Bruno went a little further along the
road. And then he heard that queer noise
again Thump ! Thump ! Thump ! So he
thought he'd look round, this time, just to see
what it was. And what should it be but a
great Lion ! "
xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 227
"A great big Lion," Bruno corrected her.
"A great big Lion. And Bruno was ever
so frightened, and he ran
"No, he wasn't flight ened a bit ! " Bruno
interrupted. (He was evidently anxious for
the reputation of his namesake.) " He runned
away to get a good look at the Lion ; 'cause
he wanted to see if it were the same Lion
what used to nubble little Boys' heads off; and
he wanted to know how big it was ! "
" Well, he ran away, to get a good look at
the* Lion. And the Lion trotted slowly after
him. And the Lion called after him, in a very
gentle voice, ' Little Boy, little Boy ! You
needn't be afraid of me! I'm a very gentle
old Lion now. I never nubble little Boys'
heads off, as I used to do.' And so Bruno
said ' Don't you really, Sir ? Then what do
you live on ? ' And the Lion
" Oo see he weren't a bit flightened ! "
Bruno said to me, patting my cheek again.
" 'cause he remembered to call it ' Sir,' oo
know."
I said that no doubt that was the real test
whether a person was frightened or not.
Q 2
228 SYLV1E AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" And the Lion said ' Oh, I live on bread-
and-butter, and cherries, and marmalade, and
plum-cake
" and apples ! " Bruno put in.
" Yes, 'and apples.' And Bruno said 'Won't
you come with me to my Picnic ? ' And the
Lion said ' Oh, I should like it very much in-
deed / ' And Bruno and the Lion went away
together." Sylvie stopped suddenly.
" Is that all?" I asked, despondingly.
" Not quite all," Sylvie slily replied. " There's
a sentence or two more. Isn't there, Bruno ? "
" Yes," with a carelessness that was evi-
dently put on : "just a sentence or two more."
" And, as they were walking along, they
looked over a hedge, and who should they see
but a little black Lamb ! And the Lamb was
ever so frightened. And it ran "
" It were really flightened !" Bruno put in.
" It ran away. And Bruno ran after it. And
he called ' Little Lamb ! You needn't be afraid
of this Lion! It never kills things! It lives
on cherries, and marmalade '
" and apples f " said Bruno. " Oo
always forgets the apples ! "
xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 229
" And Bruno said ' Wo'n't you come with
us to my Picnic ? ' And the Lamb said ' Oh,
I should like it very much indeed, if my Ma
will let me ! ' And Bruno said ' Let's go and
ask your Ma ! ' And they went to the old
Sheep. And Bruno said ' Please, may your
little Lamb come to my Picnic ? ' And the
Sheep said ' Yes, if it's learnt all its lessons.'
And the Lamb said ' Oh yes, Ma ! I've learnt
all my lessons ! ' '
" Pretend it hadn't any lessons ! " Bruno
earnestly pleaded.
" Oh, that would never do ! " said Sylvie.
" I ca'n't leave out all about the lessons ! And
the old Sheep said ' Do you know your ABC
yet ? Have you learnt A ? ' And the Lamb
said ' Oh yes, Ma ! I went to the A-field, and
I helped them to make A ! ' ' Very good, my
child! And have you learnt B?' 'Oh yes,
Ma ! I went to the B-hive, and the B gave me
some honey ! ' ' Very good, my child ! And
have you learnt C ? ' ' Oh yes, Ma ! I went
to the C-side, and I saw the ships sailing on
the C ! ' ' Very good, my child ! You may go
to Bruno's Picnic.'
230 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" So they set off. And Bruno walked in the
middle, so that the Lamb mightn't see the
Lion
"It were fliglitened" Bruno explained.
" Yes, and it trembled so ; and it got paler
and paler ; and, before they'd got to the top
of the hill, it was a 'white little JLamb as
white as snow ! "
Xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 231
" But Bruno weren't flightened ! " said the
owner of that name. ''So he staid black ! "
" No, he didn't stay black ! He staid pink ! "
laughed Sylvie. " I shouldn't kiss you like this,
you know, if you were black ! "
" Oo'd have to ! " Bruno said with great de-
cision. " Besides, Bruno wasn't Bruno, oo
know 1 mean, Bruno wasn't me 1 mean
don't talk nonsense, Sylvie ! "
"I won't do it again!" Sylvie said very
humbly. " And so, as they went along, the
Lion said * Oh, I'll tell you what I used to do
when I was a young Lion. I used to hide be-
hind trees, to watch for little Boys.' " (Bruno
cuddled a little closer to her.) " ' And, if a
little thin scraggy Boy came by, why, I used
to let him go. But, if a little fat juicy
Bruno could bear no more. " Pretend he
wasn't juicy ! " he pleaded, half-sobbing.
" Nonsense, Bruno ! " Sylvie briskly replied.
"It'll be done in a moment! ' if a little
fat juicy Boy came by, why, I used to spring
out and gobble him up ! Oh, you've no idea
what a delicious thing it is a little juicy
Boy ! ' And Bruno said ' Oh, if you please,
232 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Sir, dorit talk about eating little boys ! It
makes me so shivery! '
The real Bruno shivered, in sympathy with
the hero.
" And the Lion said ' Oh, well, we won't talk
about it, then ! I'll tell you what happened on
my wedding-day
" I like this part better," said Bruno, patting
my cheek to keep me awake.
" ' There was, oh, such a lovely wedding-
breakfast ! At one end of the table there was
a large plum -pudding. And at the other end
there was a nice roasted Lamb ! Oh, you've
no idea what a delicious thing it is a nice
roasted Lamb ! ' And the Lamb said ' Oh,
if you please, Sir, dorit talk about eating
Lambs ! 1 1 makes me so shivery ! ' And the
Lion said ' Oh, well, we won't talk about it,
then ! ' "
CHAPTER XV.
THE LITTLE FOXES.
"So, when they got to the top of the hill,
Bruno opened the hamper : and he took out
the Bread, and the Apples, and the Milk :
and they ate, and they drank. And when
they'd finished the Milk, and eaten half the
Bread and half the Apples, the Lamb said
' Oh, my paws is so sticky ! I want to wash
my paws ! ' And the Lion said ' Well, go
down the hill, and wash them in the brook,
yonder. We'll wait for you ! ' '
"It never corned back!" Bruno solemnly
whispered to me. .
234 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
But Sylvie overheard him. " You're not to
whisper, Bruno! It spoils the story! And
when the Lamb had been gone a long time,
the Lion said to Bruno ' Do go and see after
that silly little Lamb ! It must have lost its
way.' And Bruno went down the hill. And
when he got to the brook, he saw the Lamb
sitting on the bank : and who should be sitting
by it but an old Fox ! "
" Don't know who should be sitting by it,"
Bruno said thoughtfully to himself. " A old
Fox were sitting by it."
" And the old Fox were saying," Sylvie went
on, for once conceding the grammatical point,
" ' Yes, my dear, you'll be ever so happy with
us, if you'll only come and see us ! I've got
three little Foxes there, and we do love little
Lambs so dearly ! ' And the Lamb said ' But
you never eat them, do you, Sir ? ' And the
Fox said ' Oh, no ! What, eat a Lamb ? We
never dream of doing such a thing ! ' So the
Lamb said ' Then I'll come with you.' And
off they went, hand in hand."
" That Fox were welly extremely wicked,
wererit it ? " said Bruno.
xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 235
" No, no ! " said Sylvie, rather shocked at
such violent language. "It wasn't quite so
bad as that!"
"Well, I mean, it wasn't nice," the little
fellow corrected himself.
"And so Bruno went back to the Lion.
' Oh, come quick ! ' he said. ' The Fox has
taken the Lamb to his house with him ! I'm
sure he means to eat it ! ' And the Lion said
' I'll come as quick as ever I can!' And they
trotted down the hill."
" Do oo think he caught the Fox, Mister
Sir ? " said Bruno. I shook my head, not
liking to speak : and Sylvie went on.
"And when they got to the house, Bruno
looked in at the window. And there he saw
the three little Foxes sitting round the table,
with their clean pinafores on, and spoons in
their hands
" Spoons in their hands ! " Bruno repeated
in an ecstasy of delight.
" And the Fox had got a great big knife
all ready to kill the poor little Lamb "
("Oo needn't be flightened, Mister Sir!"
Bruno put in, in a hasty whisper.)
236 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 237
"And just as he was going to do it, Bruno
heard a great ROAR (The real Bruno
put his hand into mine, and held tight), "and
the Lion came bang through the door, and
the next moment it had bitten off the old
Fox's head ! And Bruno jumped in at the
window, and went leaping round the room, and
crying out ' Hooray ! Hooray ! The old Fox
is dead ! The old Fox is dead ! ' '
Bruno got up in some excitement. " May I
do it now ? " he enquired.
Sylvie was quite decided on this point.
" Wait till afterwards," she said. " The speeches
come next, don't you know ? You always love
the speeches, dorit you ? "
" Yes, I doos," said Bruno : and sat down
again.
" The Lion's speech. ' Now, you silly little
Lamb, go home to your mother, and never
listen to old Foxes again. And be very good
and obedient.'
"The Lamb's speech. 'Oh, indeed, Sir, I
will, Sir!' and the Lamb went away." (" But
oo needn't go away!" Bruno explained. " It's
quite the nicest part what's coming now ! "
238 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Sylvie smiled. She liked having an appreci-
ative audience.)
" The Lion's speech to Bruno. ' Now,
Bruno, take those little Foxes home with
you, and teach them to be good obedient
little Foxes ! Not like that wicked old thing
there, that's got no head ! " (" That hasn't
got no head," Bruno repeated.)
" Bruno's speech to the Lion. Oh, indeed,
Sir, I will, Sir!' And the Lion went away."
(" It gets betterer and betterer, now," Bruno
whispered to me, " right away to the end ! ")
" Bruno's speech to the little Foxes. ' Now,
little Foxes, you're going to have your first
lesson in being good. I'm going to put you
into the hamper, along with the Apples and the
Bread : and you're not to eat the Apples : and
you're not to eat the Bread : and you're not to
eat anything till we get to my house : and
then you'll have your supper.'
" The little Foxes' speech to Bruno. The
little Foxes said nothing.
" So Bruno put the Apples into the hamper
and the little Foxes and the Bread
("They had picnicked all the Milk," Bruno
xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 239
explained in a whisper) " and he set off
to go to his house." ("We're getting near
the end now," said Bruno.)
" And, when he had got a little way, he
thought he would look into the hamper, and
see how the little Foxes were getting on."
" So he opened the door " said Bruno.
"Oh, Bruno!" Sylvie exclaimed, " yoiire
not telling the story ! So he opened the door,
and behold, there were no Apples ! So Bruno
said ' Eldest little Fox, have you been eating
the Apples ? ' And the eldest little Fox said
' No no no! 1 ' (It is impossible to give the
tone in which Sylvie repeated this rapid little
' No no no ! ' The nearest I can come to it
is to say that it was much as if a young and
excited duck had tried to quack the words.
It was too quick for a quack, and yet too harsh
to be anything else.) " Then he said ' Second
little Fox, have you been eating the Apples ? '
And the second little Fox said ' No no no ! '
Then he said ' Youngest little Fox, have you
been eating the Apples ? ' And the youngest
little Fox tried to say ' No no no ! ' but its
mouth was so full, it couldn't, and it only
240 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
said ' Wauch ! Wauch ! Wauch ! ' And Bruno
looked into its mouth. And its mouth was
full of Apples ! And Bruno shook his head,
and he said ' Oh dear, oh dear ! What bad
creatures these Foxes are ! '
Bruno was listening intently : and, when
Sylvie paused to take breath, he could only
just gasp out the words " About the Bread ? "
"Yes," said Sylvie, ''the Bread comes next.
So he shut the door again ; and he went a
little further ; and then he thought he'd just
peep in once more. And behold, there was no
Bread!" ("What do 'behold' mean?" said
Bruno. "Hush!" said Sylvie.) "And he said
' Eldest little Fox, have you been eating the
Bread ? ' And the eldest little Fox said ' No
no no ! ' ' Second little Fox, have you been
eating the Bread ? ' And the second little Fox
only said ' Wauch ! Wauch ! Wauch ! ' And
Bruno looked into its mouth, and its mouth
was full of Bread!" (" It might have chokeded
it," said Bruno.) " So he said ' Oh dear, oh
dear ! What shall I do with these Foxes ? '
And he went a little further." (" Now comes
the most interesting part," Bruno whispered.)
xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 241
" And when Bruno opened the hamper again,
what do you think he saw ? " (" Only two
Foxes ! " Bruno cried in a great hurry.) " You
shouldn't tell it so quick. However, he did
see only two Foxes. And he said ' Eldest
little Fox, have you been eating the youngest
little Fox ? ' And the eldest little Fox said
'No no no!' 'Second little Fox, have you
been eating the youngest little Fox ? ' And
the second little Fox did its very best to say
'No no no!' but it could only say 'Weuchk!
Weuchk ! Weuchk ! ' And when Bruno looked
into its mouth, it was half full of Bread, and
half full of Fox ! " (Bruno said nothing in the
pause this time. He was beginning to pant a
little, as he knew the crisis was coming.)
" And when he'd got nearly home, he looked
once more into the hamper, and he saw
" Only " Bruno began, but a generous
thought struck him, and he looked at me. " Oo
may say it, this time, Mister Sir ! " he whis-
pered. It was a noble offer, but I wouldn't
rob him of the treat. "Go on, Bruno," I said,
"you say it much the best." " Only but
one Fox ! " Bruno said with great solemnity.
R
242
SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" ' Eldest little Fox,' " Sylvie said, dropping
the narrative-form in her eagerness. " ' you've
been so good that I can hardly believe youve
been disobedient : but I'm afraid you've been
eating your little sister ? ' And the eldest little
Fox said ' Whihuauch ! Whihuauch ! ' and then
it choked. And Bruno looked into its mouth,
and it was full ! " (Sylvie paused to take
breath, and Bruno lay back among the daisies,
xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 243
and looked at me triumphantly. " Isn't it
grand, Mister Sir ? " said he. I tried hard to
assume a critical tone. " It's grand," I said :
"but it frightens one so!" "Oo may sit a
little closer to me, if oo like," said Bruno.)
" And so Bruno went home : and took the
hamper into the kitchen, and opened it. And
he saw " Sylvie looked at me, this time, as
if she thought I had been rather neglected and
ought to be allowed one guess, at any rate.
" He ca'n't guess ! " Bruno cried eagerly.
" I 'fraid I must tell him! There weren't
nuffin in the hamper ! " I shivered in terror,
and Bruno clapped his hands with delight.
" He is flightened, Sylvie ! Tell the rest ! "
" So Bruno said ' Eldest little Fox, have you
been eating yoiirself, you wicked little Fox ? '
And the eldest little Fox said ' Whihuauch ! '
And then Bruno saw there was only its moutk
in the hamper ! So he took the mouth, and he
opened it, and shook, and shook ! And at last
he shook the little Fox out of its own mouth !
And then he said ' Open your mouth again,
you wicked little thing ! ' And he shook, and
shook ! And he shook out the second little
R 2
244 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Fox ! And he said ' Now open your mouth ! '
And he shook, and shook ! And he shook out
the youngest little Fox, and all the Apples, and
all the Bread !
"And then Bruno stood the little Foxes up
against the wall : and he made .them a little
speech. ' Now, little Foxes, you've begun very
wickedly and you'll have to be punished.
First you'll go up to the nursery, and wash
your faces, and put on clean pinafores. Then
you'll hear the bell ring for supper. Then you'll
come down : and you wont have any supper :
but you'll have a good whipping ! Then you'll
go to bed. Then in the morning you'll hear
the bell ring for breakfast. But you wont have
any breakfast ! You'll have a good whipping !
Then you'll have your lessons. And, perhaps,
if you're very good, when dinner-time comes,
you'll have a little dinner, and no more
whipping ! ' : (" How very kind he was ! " I
whispered to Bruno. "Middling kind," Bruno
corrected me gravely.)
" So the little Foxes ran up to the nursery.
And soon Bruno went into the hall, and rang
the big bell. ' Tingle, tingle, tingle ! Supper,
xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 245
supper, supper ! ' Down came the little Foxes,
in such a hurry for their supper ! Clean pina-
fores ! Spoons in their hands ! And, when they
got into the dining-room, there was ever such
a white table-cloth on the table ! But there was
nothing on it but a big whip. And they had
such a whipping !" (I put my handkerchief to
my eyes, and Bruno hastily climbed upon my
knee and stroked my face. " Only one more
whipping, Mister Sir ! " he whispered. " Don't
cry more than oo ca'n't help ! ")
"And the next morning early, Bruno rang
the big bell again. ' Tingle, tingle, tingle !
Breakfast, breakfast, breakfast ! ' Down came
the little Foxes ! Clean pinafores ! Spoons in
their hands ! No breakfast ! Only the big
whip ! Then came lessons," Sylvie hurried on,
for I still had my handkerchief to my eyes.
" And the little Foxes were ever so good !
And they learned their lessons backwards,
and forwards, and upside-down. And at last
Bruno rang the big bell again. ' Tingle, tingle,
tingle ! Dinner, dinner, dinner ! ' And when
the little Foxes came down "(" Had they
clean pinafores on ? " Bruno enquired. " Of
246 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
course ! " said Sylvie. " And spoons ? " '' Why,
you know they had !" " Couldn't be certain"
said Bruno.) " they came as slow as slow !
And they said ' Oh ! There'll be no dinner !
There'll only be the big whip ! ' But, when
they got into the room, they saw the most
lovely dinner !" ("Buns?" cried Bruno, clap-
ping his hands.) " Buns, and cake, and
("and jam ? " said Bruno.) " Yes, jam
and soup and " (" and sugar plums /"
Bruno put in once more ; and Sylvie seemed
satisfied.)
" And ever after that, they were such good
little Foxes ! They did their lessons as good
as gold and they never did what Bruno told
them not to and they never ate each other
any more and they never ate themselves ! "
The story came to an end so suddenly,
it almost took my breath away ; however I did
my best to make a pretty speech of thanks.
"I'm sure it's very very very much so,
I'm sure!" I seemed to hear myself say.
CHAPTER XVI.
BEYOND THESE VOICES.
" I DIDN'T quite catch what you said ! " were
the next words that reached my ear, but cer-
tainly not in the voice either of Sylvie or of
Bruno, whom I could just see, through the
crowd of guests, standing by the piano, and
listening to the Count's song. Mein Herr was
the speaker. " I didn't quite catch what you
said!" he repeated. " But I've no doubt you
take my view of it. Thank you very much for
your kind attention. There is only but one
verse left to be sung ! " These last words were
not in the gentle voice of Mein Herr, but in
248 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
the deep bass of the French Count. And, in
the silence that followed, the final stanza of
' Tottles ' rang through the room.
See now this couple settled down
In quiet lodgings, out of town :
Submissively the tearful ivife
Accepts a plain and J tumble life :
Yet begs one boon on bended knee :
' My ducky -darling, don't resent it !
Mamma might come for two or three '
1 NE VER ! ' yelled Tottles. A nd he meant it.
xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 249
The conclusion of the song was followed by
quite a chorus of thanks and compliments from
all parts of the room, which the gratified singer
responded to by bowing low in all directions.
" It is to me a great privilege," he said to Lady
Muriel, " to have met with this so marvellous a
song. The accompaniment to him is so strange,
so mysterious : it is as if a new music were to
be invented ! I will play him once again so as
that to show you what I mean." He returned
to the piano, but the song had vanished.
The bewildered singer searched through the
heap of music lying on an adjoining table, but
it was not there, either. Lady Muriel helped
in the search : others soon joined : the excite-
ment grew. " What can have become of it ? "
exclaimed Lady Muriel. Nobody knew : one
thing only was certain, that no one had been
near the piano since the Count had sung the
last verse of the song.
" Nevare mind him ! " he said, most good-
naturedly. " I shall give it you with memory
alone ! " He sat down, and began vaguely fing-
ering the notes ; but nothing resembling the
tune came out. Then he, too, grew excited.
250 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" But what oddness ! How much of singularity !
That I might lose, not the words alone, but the
tune also that is quite curious, I suppose ? "
We all supposed it, heartily.
" It was that sweet little boy, who found it
for me," the Count suggested. " Quite perhaps
he is the thief ? "
"Of course he is!" cried Lady Muriel.
" Bruno ! Where are you, my darling ? "
But no Bruno replied : it seemed that the
two children had vanished as suddenly, and as
mysteriously, as the song.
" They are playing us a trick ! " Lady Muriel
gaily exclaimed. " This is only an ex tempore
game of Hide-and-Seek ! That little Bruno is
an embodied Mischief!"
The suggestion was a welcome one to most
of us, for some of the guests were beginning
to look decidedly uneasy. A general search was
set on foot with much enthusiasm : curtains were
thrown back and shaken, cupboards opened, and
ottomans turned over ; but the number of pos-
sible hiding-places proved to be strictly limited ;
and the search came to an end almost as soon
as it had begun.
xvi] ' BEYOND THESE VOICES. 251
" They must have run out, while we were
wrapped up in the song," Lady Muriel said,
addressing herself to the Count, who seemed
more agitated than the others ; "and no doubt
they've found their way back to the house-
keeper's room."
" Not by this door ! " was the earnest protest
of a knot of two or three gentlemen, who had
been grouped round the door (one of them
actually leaning against it) for the last half-
hour, as they declared. " This door has not
been opened since the song began ! "
An uncomfortable silence followed this an-
nouncement. Lady Muriel ventured no further
conjectures, but quietly examined the fastenings
of the windows, which opened as doors. They
all proved to be well fastened, inside.
Not yet at the end of her resources, Lady
Muriel rang the bell. "Ask the housekeeper
to step here," she said, "and to bring the
children's walking-things with her."
"I've brought them, my Lady," said the
obsequious housekeeper, entering after another
minute of silence. " I thought the young
lady would have come to my room to put on
252 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
her boots. Here's your boots, my love ! " she
added cheerfully, looking in all directions for
the children. There was no answer, and she
turned to Lady Muriel with a puzzled smile.
" Have the little darlings hid themselves ?"
" I don't see them, just now," Lady Muriel
replied, rather evasively. " You can leave their
things here, Wilson. /'// dress them, when
they're ready to go."
The two little hats, and Sylvie's walking-
jacket, were handed round among the ladies,
with many exclamations of delight. There
certainly was a sort of witchery of beauty about
them. Even the little boots did not miss their
share of favorable criticism. " Such natty little
things ! " the musical young lady exclaimed,
almost fondling them as she spoke. "And
what tiny tiny feet they must have ! "
Finally, the things were piled together on the
centre-ottoman, and the guests, despairing of
seeing the children again, began to wish good-
night and leave the house.
There were only some eight or nine left
to whom the Count was explaining, for the
twentieth time, how he had had his eye on the
xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 253
children during the last verse of the song ; how
he had then glanced round the room, to see
what effect " de great chest-note " had had
upon his audience ; and how, when he looked
back again, they had both disappeared when
exclamations of dismay began to be heard
on all sides, the Count hastily bringing his
story to an end to join in the outcry.
The walking-things had all disappeared !
After the utter failure of the search for the
children, there was a very half-hearted search
made for their apparel. The remaining guests
seemed only too glad to get away, leaving only
the Count and our four selves.
The Count sank into an easy-chair, and
panted a little.
" Who then are these dear children, I pray
you?" he said. "Why come they, why go
they, in this so little ordinary a fashion ? That
the music should make itself to vanish that
the hats, the boots, should make themselves to
vanish how is it, I pray you ? "
" I've no idea where they are ! " was all I
could say, on finding myself appealed to, by
general consent, for an explanation.
254 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
The Count seemed about to ask further
questions, but checked himself.
" The hour makes himself to become late,"
he said. " I wish to you a very good night,
my Lady. I betake myself to my bed to
dream if that indeed I be not dreaming
now ! " And he hastily left the room.
" Stay awhile, stay awhile !" said the Earl,
as I was about to follow the Count. " You
are not a guest, you know ! Arthur's friend
is at home here ! "
" Thanks ! " I said, as, with true English
instincts, we drew our chairs together round
the fire-place, though no fire was burning-
Lady Muriel having taken the heap of music
on her knee, to have one more search for the
strangely-vanished song.
" Don't you sometimes feel a wild longing,"
she said, addressing herself to me, " to have
something more to do with your hands, while
you talk, than just holding a cigar, and now
and then knocking off the ash ? Oh, I know
all that you're going to say ! " (This was to
Arthur, who appeared about to interrupt her.)
" The Majesty of Thought supersedes the
xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 255
work of the fingers. A Man's severe thinking,
plus the shaking-off a cigar-ash, comes to the
same total as a Woman's trivial fancies, plus
the most elaborate embroidery. That's your
sentiment, isn't it, only better expressed ? "
Arthur looked into the radiant, mischievous
face, with a grave and very tender smile.
" Yes," he said resignedly : " that is my senti-
ment, exactly."
" Rest of body, and activity of mind," I put
in. " Some writer tells us that is the acme of
human happiness."
" Plenty of bodily rest, at any rate ! " Lady
Muriel replied, glancing at the three recum-
bent figures around her. " But what you call
activity of mind "
" is the privilege of young Physicians
only I' said the Earl. " We old men have no
claim to be active ! What can an old man
do bid die ? "
" A good many other things, I should hope"
Arthur said earnestly.
" Well, maybe. Still you have the advan-
tage of me in many ways, dear boy ! Not
only that your day is dawning while mine is
256 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
setting, but jour interest in Life somehow I
ca'n't help envying you that. It will be many
a year before you lose your hold of that"
" Yet surely many human interests survive
human Life ? " I said.
" Many do, no doubt. And some forms of
Science ; but only some, I think. Mathematics,
for instance : that seems to possess an endless
interest : one ca'n't imagine any form of Life,
or any race of intelligent beings, where Mathe-
matical truth would lose its meaning. But I
fear Medicine stands on a different footing.
Suppose you discover a remedy for some dis-
ease hitherto supposed to be incurable. Well,
it is delightful for the moment, no doubt full
of interest perhaps it brings you fame and
fortune. But what then ? Look on, a few
years, into a life where disease has no exist-
ence. What is your discovery worth, then ?
Milton makes Jove promise too much. ' Of
so much fame in heaven expect thy meed. ' Poor
comfort, when one's ' fame ' concerns matters
that will have ceased to have a meaning ! "
" At any rate, one wouldn't care to make
any fresh medical discoveries," said Arthur.
xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 257
" I see no help for that -though I shall be
sorry to give up my favorite studies. Still,
medicine, disease, pain, sorrow, sin 1 fear
they're all linked together. Banish sin, and
you banish them all ! "
" Military science is a yet stronger instance/'
said the Earl. " Without sin, war would surely
be impossible. Still any mind, that has had in
this life any keen interest, not in itself sinful,
will surely find itself some congenial line of
work hereafter. Wellington may have no more
battles to fight and yet
' We doubt not that, for one so true,
There must be other, nobler work to do,
Than when he fought at Waterloo,
And Victor he must ever be ! ' '
He lingered over the beautiful words, as if
he loved them : and his voice, like distant
music, died away into silence.
After a minute or two he began again. " If
I'm not wearying you, I would like to tell you
an idea of the future Life which has haunted
me for years, like a sort of waking night-
mare 1 ca'n't reason myself out of it."
s
258 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Pray do," Arthur and I replied, almost in
a breath. Lady Muriel put aside the heap
of music, and folded her hands together.
"The one idea," the Earl resumed, "that
has seemed to me to overshadow all the rest,
is that of Eternity involving, as it seems to
do, the necessary exhaustion of all subjects of
human interest. Take Pure Mathematics, for
instance a Science independent of our pres-
ent surroundings. I have studied it, myself,
a little. Take the subject of circles and ellip-
ses what we call ' curves of the second de-
gree.' In a future Life, it would only be a
question of so many years (or hundreds of
years, if you like), for a man to work out all
their properties. Then he might go to curves
of the third degree. Say that took ten times
as long (you see we have unlimited time to
deal with). I can hardly imagine his interest
in the subject holding out even for those ; and,
though there is no limit to the degree of the
curves he might study, yet surely the time,
needed to exhaust all the novelty and interest
of the subject, would be absolutely finite ?
And so of all other branches of Science. And,
XVI] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 259
when I transport myself, in thought, through
some thousands or millions of years, and fancy
myself possessed of as much Science as one
created reason can carry, I ask myself ' What
then ? With nothing more to learn, can one
rest content on knowledge, for the eternity yet
to be lived through ?' It has been a very
wearying thought to me. I have sometimes
fancied one might, in that event, say 'It is
better not to be,' and pray for personal anni-
hilation the Nirvana of the Buddhists."
" But that is only half the picture," I said.
" Besides working for oneself, may there not
be the helping of others ? "
" Surely, surely ! " Lady Muriel exclaimed
in a tone of relief, looking at her father with
sparkling eyes.
"Yes," said the Earl, " so long as there were
any others needing help. But, given ages and
ages more, surely all created reasons would at
length reach the same dead level of satiety.
And then what is there to look forward to ? "
" I know that weary feeling," said the young
Doctor. " I have gone through it all, more
than once. Now let me tell you how I have
s 2
260 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
put it to myself. I have imagined a little child,
playing with toys on his nursery-floor, and yet
able to reason, and to look on, thirty years
ahead. Might he not say to himself ' By that
time I shall have had enough of bricks and
ninepins. How weary Life will be ! ' Yet, if
we look forward through those thirty years, we
find him a great statesman, full of interests and
joys far more intense than his baby-life could
give joys wholly inconceivable to his baby-
mind joys such as no baby-language could in
the faintest degree describe. Now, may not our
life, a million years hence, have the same rela-
tion, to our life now, that the man's life has to
the child's ? And, just as one might try, all in
vain, to express to that child, in the language
of bricks and ninepins, the meaning of ' politics,'
so perhaps all those descriptions of Heaven,
with its music, and its feasts, and its streets of
gold, may be only attempts to describe, in our
words, things for which we really have no
words at all. Don't you think that, in your
picture of another life, you are in fact trans-
planting that child into political life, without
making any allowance for his growing up ? "
xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 261
" I think I understand you," said the Earl.
" The music of Heaven may be something
beyond our powers of thought. Yet the music
of Earth is sweet ! Muriel, my child, sing us
something before we go to bed ! "
" Do," said Arthur, as he rose and lit the
candles on the cottage-piano, lately banished
from the drawing-room to make room for a
'semi-grand.' "There is a song here, that I
have never heard you sing.
'Hail to thee, blithe spirit !
Bird tJwu never wert,
That from Heaven, or near it,
P cures t thy f 11 II heart ! ' '
he read from the page he had spread open
before her.
""And our little life here," the Earl went on,
" is, to that grand time, like a child's summer-
day ! One gets tired as night draws on," he
added, with a touch of sadness in his voice,
" and one gets to long for bed ! For those
welcome words ' Come, child, 'tis bed-time ! '
CHAPTER XVII.
TO THE RESCUE !
" IT isrit bed-time!" said a sleepy little
voice. " The owls hasn't gone to bed, and I
s'a'n't go to seep wizout oo sings to me ! "
" Oh, Bruno ! " cried Sylvie. " Don't you
know the owls have only just got up ? But
the frogs have gone to bed, ages ago."
" Well, / aren't a frog," said Bruno.
" What shall I sing ? " said Sylvie, skilfully
avoiding the argument.
" Ask Mister Sir," Bruno lazily replied, clasp-
ing his hands behind his curly head, and lying
back on his fern-leaf, till it almost bent over
xvn] TO THE RESCUE ! 263
with his weight. " This aren't a comfable leaf,
Sylvie. Find me a comfabler please ! " he
added, as an after-thought, in obedience to a
warning finger held up by Sylvie. " I doosn't
like being feet-upwards ! "
It was a pretty sight to see the motherly
way in which the fairy-child gathered up her
little brother in her arms, and laid him on a
stronger leaf. She gave it just a touch to set
it rocking, and it went on vigorously by itself,
as if it contained some hidden machinery. It
certainly wasn't the wind, for the evening-breeze
had quite died away again, and not a leaf was
stirring over our heads.
"Why does that one leaf rock so, without
the others ? " I asked Sylvie. She only smiled
sweetly and shook her head. " I don't know
why I' she said. "It always does, if it's got a
fairy-child on it. It has to, you know."
" And can people see the leaf rock, who ca'n't
see the Fairy on it ? "
" Why, of course ! " cried Sylvie. " A leaf's
a leaf, and everybody can see it ; but Bruno's
Bruno, and they ca'n't see him, unless they're
eerie, like you."
264 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Then I understood how it was that one
sometimes sees going through the woods in
a still evening one fern-leaf rocking steadily
on, all by itself. Haven't you ever seen that ?
Try if you can see the fairy-sleeper on it, next
time ; but don't pick the leaf, whatever you do ;
let the little one sleep on !
But all this time Bruno was getting sleepier
and sleepier. " Sing, sing ! " he murmured fret-
fully. Sylvie looked to me for instructions.
" What shall it be ? " she said.
" Could you sing him the nursery-song you
once told me of ? " I suggested. " The one
that had been put through the mind-mangle,
you know. ' The little man that had a little
gun} I think it was. '
"Why, that are one of the Professors
songs ! " cried Bruno. " I likes the little man ;
and I likes the way they spinned him like a
teetle-totle-tum." And he turned a loving look
on the gentle old man who was sitting at the
other side of his leaf-bed, and who instantly
began to sing, accompanying himself on his
Outlandish guitar, while the snail, on which he
sat, waved its horns in time to the music.
XVIl]
TO THE RESCUE!
265
In stature the Manlet was dwarfish
No burly big Blunderbore he :
And he wearily gazed on tJie cra^vfish
His Wifelet had dressed for his tea.
" Now reach me, sweet Atom, my gunlet,
And hurl tJie old -shoelet for luck :
Let me hie to the bank of the runlet,
And shoot thee a Duck ! "
She has reached him his minikin gunlet :
She has hurled the old sJioelet for luck
She is busily baking a bunlet,
To welcome him Jioine with his Duck.
266 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
On he speeds, never wasting a wordlet,
Though thoughtlets cling, closely as wax,
To the spot iv/tere the beautiful birdlet
So quietly quacks.
Where the Lobsterlet lurks, and the Crablet
So slowly and sleepily crawls :
Where the Dolphins at home, and the Dablet
Pays long ceremonious calls:
Where the Grublet is sought by the Froglet:
Where the Frog is pursued by the Duck :
Where tJie Ducklct is chased by the Doglet
So runs the world's hick I
XVJlJ
TO THE RESCUE !
267
He has loaded with bullet and powder :
His footfall is noiseless as air :
But the Voices groiv louder and louder.
And bellow, and bluster, and blare.
They bristle before him and after,
They flutter above and below,
Shrill shriekings of lubberly laughter,
Weird wailings of woe !
They echo without him, wit ft in him :
They thrill through his whiskers and beard:
Like a teetotum seeming to spin him,
With sneers never hitherto sneered.
268 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Avengement" they cry, "on our Foelet !
Let the Manikin weep for our wrongs !
Let its drench him, from toplet to toelet,
With Nursery-Songs !
" He shall mnse upon ' Hey ! Diddle ! Diddle !
On the Cow tJiat surmounted the Moon :
He shall rave of the Cat and tJie Fiddle,
And the Dish tJiat eloped with the Spoon:
A nd his soul shall be sad for the Spider,
When Jlftss Muffct zvas sipping her whey,
That so tenderly sat down beside her,
And scared her away !
xvil] TO THE RESCUE ! 269
" The music of Midsummer-madness
Shall sting him with many a bite,
Till, in rapture of rollicking sadness,
He shall groan with a gloomy delight :
He shall swathe him, like mists of the morning,
In platitudes luscious and limp,
Such as deck, with a deathless adorning,
The Song of the Shrimp !
" When the Duck let's dark doom is decided,
We will trundle him home in a trice :
And the banquet, so plainly provided,
Shall round into rose-buds and rice :
In a blaze of pragmatic invention
He shall wrestle with Fate, and shall reign
But he has not a friend fit to mention,
So hit him again ! "
He has shot it, the delicate darling!
And tJte Voices have ceased from their strife
Not a whisper of sneering or snarling,
As he carries it home to his wife:
Then, cheerily champing the bunlet
His spouse was so skilful to bake,
He hies him once more to the runlet,
To fetch her the Drake !
270 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" He's sound asleep now," said Sylvie, care-
fully tucking in the edge of a violet-leaf, which
she had been spreading over him as a sort of
blanket: "good night!"
" Good night ! " I echoed.
" You may well say ' good night ' ! " laughed
Lady Muriel, rising and shutting up the piano
as she spoke. When you've been nid nid
nodding all the time I've been singing for
your benefit ! What was it all about, now ? "
she demanded imperiously.
" Something about a duck ? " I hazarded.
"Well, a bird of some kind?" I corrected
myself, perceiving at once that that guess was
wrong, at any rate.
"Something about a bird of some kind!"
Lady Muriel repeated, with as much withering
scorn as her sweet face was capable of con-
veying. " And that's the way he speaks of
Shelley's Sky- Lark, is it? When the Poet
particularly says ' Hail to thee y blithe spirit !
Bird thou never wert ! '
She led the way to the smoking-room, where,
ignoring all the usages of Society and all the
instincts of Chivalry, the three Lords of the
XVII]
TO THE RESCUE!
271
Creation reposed at their ease in low rocking-
chairs, and permitted the one lady who was
present to glide gracefully about among us,
supplying our wants in the form of cooling
drinks, cigarettes, and lights. Nay, it was only
one of the three who had the chivalry to go
272 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
beyond the common-place " thank you," and to
quote the Poet's exquisite description of how
Geraint, when waited on by Enid, was moved
" To stoop and kiss the tender little thumb
TJiat crossed the platter as she laid it down"
and to suit the action to the word an auda-
cious liberty for which, I feel bound to report,
he was not duly reprimanded.
As no topic of conversation seemed to occur
to any one, and as we were, all four, on those
delightful terms with one another (the only
terms, I think, on which any friendship, that
deserves the name of intimacy, can be main-
tained) which involve no sort of necessity for
speaking for mere speaking's sake, we sat in
silence for some minutes.
At length I broke the silence by asking " Is
there any fresh news from the harbour about
the Fever ?"
" None since this morning," the Earl said,
looking very grave. " But that was alarming
enough. The Fever is spreading fast : the
London doctor has taken fright and left the
place, and the only one now available isn't a
xvn] TO THE RESCUE! 273
regular doctor at all : he is apothecary, and
doctor, and dentist, and I don't know what
other trades, all in one. It's a bad outlook
for those poor fishermen and a worse one
for all the women and children."
" How many are there of them altogether ? "
Arthur asked.
" There were nearly one hundred, a week
ago," said the Earl: "but there have been
twenty or thirty deaths since then."
"And what religious ministrations are there
to be had ? "
" There are three brave men down there,"
the Earl replied, his voice trembling with emo-
tion, " gallant heroes as ever won the Victoria
Cross ! I am certain that no one of the three
will ever leave the place merely to save his
own life. There's the Curate : his wife is with
him : they have no children. Then there's the
Roman Catholic Priest. And there's the Wes-
leyan Minister. They go amongst their own
flocks, mostly ; but I'm told that those who
are dying like to have any of the three with
them. How slight the barriers seem to be
that part Christian from Christian, when one
T
274 . SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
has to deal with the great facts of Life and the
reality of Death ! "
"So it must be, and so it should be
Arthur was beginning, when the front-door
bell rang, suddenly and violently.
We heard the front-door hastily opened, and
voices outside : then a knock at the door of
the smoking-room, and the old house-keeper
appeared, looking a little scared.
" Two persons, my Lord, to speak with Dr.
Forester."
Arthur stepped outside at once, and we heard
his cheery " Well, my men ? " but the answer
was less audible, the only words I could dis-
tinctly catch being " ten since morning, and two
more just
'' But there is a doctor there ? " we heard
Arthur say : and a deep voice, that we had not
heard before, replied " Dead, Sir. Died three
hours ago."
Lady Muriel shuddered, and hid her face in
her hands : but at this moment the front-door
was quietly closed, and we heard no more.
For a few minutes we sat quite silent : then
the Earl left the room, and soon returned to
XVH] TO THE RESCUE! 275
tell us that Arthur had gone away with the
two fishermen, leaving word that he would
be back in about an hour. And, true enough,
at the end of that interval during which
very little was said, none of us seeming to
have the heart to talk the front-door once
more creaked on its rusty hinges, and a step
was heard in the passage, hardly to be recog-
nised as Arthur's, so slow and uncertain was
it, like a blind man feeling his way.
He came in, and stood before Lady Muriel,
resting one hand heavily on the table, and
with a strange look in his eyes, as if he were
walking in his sleep.
" Muriel my love " he paused, and his
lips quivered : but after a minute he went on
more steadily. " Muriel my darling they
want me down in the harbour."
" Must you go ? " she pleaded, rising and
laying her hands on his shoulders, and looking
up into his face with her great eyes brimming
over with tears. " Must yoii go, Arthur ? It
may mean death \ "
He met her gaze without flinching. " It
does mean death," he said, in a husky whisper :
T 2
276 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" but darling 1 am called. And even my
life itself His voice failed him, and he
said no more.
For a minute she stood quite silent, looking
upwards with a helpless gaze, as if even prayer 1
were now useless, while her features worked
and quivered with the great agony she was
enduring. Then a sudden inspiration seemed
to come upon her and light up her face with
a strange sweet smile. " Your life ?" she re-
peated. "It is not yours to give ! "
Arthur had recovered himself by this time,
and could reply quite firmly, " That is true," he
said. " It is not mine to give. It is yours, now,
my wife that is to be ! And you && you
forbid me to go ? Will you not spare me, my
own beloved one ? "
Still clinging to him, she laid her head softly
on his breast. She had never done such a
thing in my presence before, and I knew how
deeply she must be moved. " I will spare you,"
she said, calmly and quietly, "to God."
"And to God's poor,' : he whispered.
"And to God's poor," she added. "When
must it be, sweet love ? "
XVI I]
TO THE RESCUE!
277
" To-morrow morning," he replied. " And I
have much to do before then."
And then he told us how he had spent his
hour of absence. He had been to the Vicarage,
and had arranged for the wedding to take place
at eight the next morning (there was no legal
obstacle, as he had, some time before this,
obtained a Special License) in the little church
278 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
we knew so well. " My old friend here,"
indicating me, " will act as ' Best Man,' I know :
your father will be there to give you away :
and and- you will dispense with bride's-
maids, my darling ? "
She nodded : no words came.
" And then I can go with a willing heart
to do God's work knowing that we are one
and that we are together in spirit, though
not in bodily presence and are most of all
together when we pray ! Our prayers will go
up together
"Yes, yes!" sobbed Lady Muriel. "But
you must not stay longer now, my darling !
Go home and take some rest. You will need
all your strength to-morrow
14 Well, I will go," said Arthur. " We will
be here in good time to-morrow. Good night,
my own own darling ! "
I followed his example, and we two left the
house together. As we walked back to our
lodgings, Arthur sighed deeply once or twice,
and seemed about to speak but no words
came, till we had entered the house, and had
lit our candles, and were at our bedroom-
xvn] TO THE RESCUE ! 279
doors. Then Arthur said "Good night, old
fellow ! God bless you ! "
" God bless you ! " I echoed, from the very
depths of my heart.
We were back again at the Hall by eight in
the morning, and found Lady Muriel and the
Earl, and the old Vicar, waiting for us. It was
a strangely sad and silent party that walked up
to the little church and back ; and I could not
help feeling that it was much more like a funeral
than a wedding : to Lady Muriel it was in fact, a
funeral rather than a wedding, so heavily did
the presentiment weigh upon her (as she told
us afterwards) that her newly-won husband was
going forth to his death.
Then we had breakfast ; and, all too soon,
the vehicle was at the door, which was to con-
vey Arthur, first to his lodgings, to pick up the
things he was taking with him, and then as
far towards the death-stricken hamlet as it was
considered safe to go. One or two of the
fishermen were to meet him on the road, to
carry his things the rest of the way.
" And are you quite sure you are taking all
that you will need ? " Lady Muriel a,sked.
280 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" All that I shall need as a doctor, certainly.
And my own personal needs are few : I shall
not even take any of my own wardrobe-
there is a fisherman's suit, ready-made, that
is waiting for me at my lodgings. I shall
only take my watch, and a few books, and
stay there is one book I should like to add,
a pocket-Testament to use at the bedsides
of the sick and dying
" Take mine ! " said Lady Muriel : and she
ran upstairs to fetch it. "It has nothing
written in it but ' Muriel,' " she said as she
returned with it : " shall I inscribe
" No, my own one," said Arthur, taking it
from her. ' ' What could you inscribe better
than that ? Could any human name mark it
more clearly as my own individual property ?
Are you not mine ? Are you not," (with all
the old playfulness of manner) " as Bruno
would say, ' my very mine ' ? "
He bade a long and loving adieu to the
Earl and to me, and left the room, accompanied
only by his wife, who was bearing up bravely,
and was outwardly, at least less overcome
than her old father. We waited in the room a
xvil] TO THE RESCUE! 281
minute or two, till the sound of wheels had told
us that Arthur had driven away ; and even
then we waited still, for the step of Lady
Muriel, going upstairs to her room, to die away
in the distance. Her step, usually so light
and joyous, now sounded slow and weary, like
one who plods on under a load of hopeless
misery ; and I felt almost as hopeless, and
almost as wretched, as she. "Are we four
destined ever to meet again, on this side the
grave ? " I asked myself, as I walked to my
home. And the tolling of a distant bell seemed
to answer me, "No! No I No!"
CHAPTER XVIII.
A NEWSPAPER-CUTTING.
EXTRACT FROM THE " FAY FIELD CHRONICLE?
Our readers will have followed with painful
interest, the accounts we have from time to time
piiblished of the terrible epidemic which has,
ditring the last two months, carried off most of
the inhabitants of the little fishing-harbour ad-
joining the village of Elveston. The last sur-
vivors, numbering twenty-three only, oztt of a
population which, three short months ago, ex-
ceeded one hundred and twenty, were removed
on Wednesday last, under the authority of the
xvm] A NEWSPAPER-CUTTING. 283
Local Board, and safely lodged in the County
Hospital : and the place is now veritably ' a city
of the dead} without a single human voice to
break its silence.
The rescuing party consisted of six sturdy
fellows -fishermen from the neighbourhood-
directed by the resident Physician of the Hos-
pital, who came over for that purpose, heading a
train of hospital-ambulances. The six men had
been selected -from a mucJi larger number who
had volunteered for this peace f^d 'forlorn hope '
for their strength and robust health, as the
expedition was considered to be, even now, when
the malady has expended its chief force, not
unattended with danger.
Every precaution that science could suggest,
against the risk of infection, was adopted : and
the sufferers were tenderly carried on litters,
one by one, up the steep hill, and placed in the
ambulances which, each provided with a hospital
nurse, were waiting on the level road. The
fifteen miles, to the Hospital, were done at a
walking-pace, as some of the patients were in too
prostrate a condition to bear jolting, and the
journey occupied the whole afternoon.
284 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
The twenty-three patients consist of nine men,
six women, and eight children. It has not been
found possible to identify them all, as some of
the children -left with no surviving relatives
are infants ; and two men and one woman
are not yet able to make rational replies, the
brain-powers being entirely in abeyance. Among
a -more well-to-do-race, there would no doubt
have been names marked on the clothes; but
here no such evidence is forthcoming.
Besides the poor fishermen and their families,
there were b^lt five persons to be accounted for :
and it was ascertained, beyond a doubt, that all
five are numbered with the dead. It is a melan-
choly pleasure to place on record the names of
these genuine martyrs than whom none, surely,
are more worthy to be entered on the glory-roll
of England s heroes ! They are as follows :
The Rev. James Biirgess, M.A., and Emma
his wife. He was the Curate at the Harbour,
not thirty years old, and had been married only
two years. A written record was found in
their house, of the dates of -their deaths.
Next to theirs we will place the honoured
name of Dr. Arthur Forester, who, on the death
xvm] A NEWSPAPER-CUTTING. 285
of the local physician, nobly faced the imminent
peril of death, rather than leave these poor folk
uncared for in their last extremity. No record
of his name, or of the date of his death, was
found: but the corpse was easily identified,
although dressed in the ordinary fisherman s
suit (which he was known to have adopted when
he went down there], by a copy of the New
Testament, the gift of his wife, which was
found, placed next his heart, with his hands
crossed over it. It was not thoiight prudent to
remove the body, for burial elsewhere : and ac-
cordingly it was at once committed to the gro2ind,
along with four others found in different houses,
with all diie reverence. His wife, whose maiden
name was Lady Muriel Orme, had been married
to him on the very morning on which he under-
took his self-sacrificing mission.
Next we record the Rev. Walter Saunders,
Wesley an Minister. His death is believed to
have taken place two or three weeks ago, as the
words ' Died October 5 ' were found written on
the wall of the room which he is known to have
occupied the house being shut up, and appar-
ently not having been entered for some time.
286 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Last though not a whit behind the other
four in glorious self-denial and devotion to duty
let us record the name of Father Francis,
a young fe suit Priest who had been only a few
months in the place. He had not been dead
many hours when the exploring party came 2ipon
the body, which was identified, beyond the possi-
bility of doubt, by the dress, and by the crucifix,
which was, like the young Doctor s Testament,
clasped closely to his heart.
Since reaching the hospital, two of the men
and one of the children have died. Hope is en-
tertained for all the others : though there are
two or three cases where the vital powers seem
to be so entirely exhausted that it is but ' hoping
against hope ' to regard ultimate recovery as
even possible.
CHAPTER XIX.
A FAIRY-DUET.
THE year what an eventful year it had
been for me ! was drawing to a close, and
the brief wintry day hardly gave light enough
to recognise the old familiar objects, bound up
with so many happy memories, as the train
glided round the last bend into the station,
and the hoarse cry of " Elveston ! Elveston ! "
resounded along the platform.
It was sad to return to the place, and to
feel that I should never again see the glad
smile of welcome, that had awaited me here
so few months ago. "And yet, if I were to
288 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED
find him here," I muttered, as in solitary state
I followed the porter, who was wheeling my
luggage on a barrow, "and if he were to 'strike
a sudden hand in mine, And ask a thousand
things of home', I should not no, ' / should
not feel u to be strange ' / "
Having given directions to have my luggage
taken to my old lodgings, I strolled off alone,
to pay a visit, before settling down in my own
quarters, to my dear old friends for such I
indeed felt them to be, though it was barely
half a year since first we met the Earl and
his widowed daughter.
The shortest way, as I well remembered, was
to cross through the churchyard. I pushed
open the little wicket-gate and slowly took my
way among the solemn memorials of the quiet
dead, thinking of the many who had, during
the past year, disappeared from the place, and
had gone to 'join the majority.' A very few
steps brought me in sight of the object of my
search. Lady Muriel, dressed in the deepest
mourning, her face hidden by a long crape veil,
was kneeling before a little marble cross, round
which she was fastening a wreath of flowers.
xix] A FAIRY- DUET. 289
The cross stood on a piece of level turf, un-
broken by any mound, and I knew that it was
simply a memorial-cross, for one whose dust
reposed elsewhere, even before reading the
simple inscription :
In loving Memory of
ARTHUR FORESTER, M.D.
whose mortal remains lie buried by the sea :
whose spirit has returned to God who gave it.
"reater lobe fyatfj no man tfjan tfjts, tfyat
a man lag iofon tys life for fjis friends."
She threw back her veil on seeing me ap-
proach, and came forwards to meet me, with a
quiet smile, and far more self-possessed than I
could have expected.
" It is quite like old times, seeing you here
again ! " she said, in tones of genuine pleasure.
" Have you been to see my father ? "
" No," I said : " I was on my way there, and
came through here as the shortest way. I
hope he is well, and you also ? "
" Thanks, we are both quite well. And you ?
Are you any better yet ? "
u
2QQ SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"Not much better, I fear : but no worse, I
am thankful to say."
" Let us sit here awhile, and have a quiet
chat," she said. The calmness almost in-
difference of her manner quite took me by
surprise. I little guessed what a fierce restraint
she was putting upon herself.
" One can be so quiet here," she resumed.
" I come here every every day."
" It is very peaceful," I said.
" You got my letter ? "
" Yes, but I delayed writing. It is so hard
to say on paper "
" I know. It was kind of you. You were
with us when we saw the last of She
paused a moment, and went on more hurriedly.
" I went down to the harbour several times,
but no one knows which of those vast graves it
is. However, they showed me the house he
died in : that was some comfort. I stood in the
very room where where ." She strug-
gled in vain to go on. The flood-gates had
given way at last, and the outburst of grief was
the most terrible I had ever witnessed. Totally
regardless of my presence, she flung herself
XIX]
A FAIRY-DUET.
down on the turf, burying her face in the grass,
and with her hands clasped round the little
marble cross, " Oh, my darling, my darling ! "
she sobbed. " And God meant your life to be
so beautiful ! "
I was startled to hear, thus repeated by Lady
Muriel, the very words of the darling child
whom I had seen weeping so bitterly over
the dead hare. Had some mysterious influ-
ence passed, from that sweet fairy-spirit, ere
u 2
292 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
she went back to Fairyland, into the human
spirit that loved her so dearly ? The idea
seemed too wild for belief. And yet, are there
not ' more things in heaven and earth than
are dreamt of in oiir philosophy ' ?
" God meant it to be beautiful," I whispered,
" and surely it was beautiful ? God's purpose
never fails ! " I dared say no more, but rose
and left her. At the entrance-gate to the
Earl's house I waited, leaning on the gate and
watching the sun set, revolving many memories
some happy, some sorrowful until Lady
Muriel joined me.
She was quite calm again now. " Do come
in," she said. " My father will be so pleased
to see you ! "
The old man rose from his chair, with a smile,
to welcome me ; but his self-command was far
less than his daughter's, and the tears coursed
down his face as he grasped both my hands
in his, and pressed them warmly.
My heart was too full to speak ; and we all
sat silent for a minute or two. Then Lady
Muriel rang the bell for tea. " You do take
five o'clock tea, I know ! " she said to me,
xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 293
with the sweet playfulness of manner I remem-
bered so well, " even though you cant work
your wicked will on the Law of Gravity, and
make the teacups descend into Infinite Space,
a little faster than the tea ! "
This remark gave the tone to our conversa-
tion. By a tacit mutual consent, we avoided,
during this our first meeting after her great
sorrow, the painful topics that filled our thoughts,
and talked like light-hearted children who had
never known a care.
" Did you ever ask yourself the question,"
Lady Muriel began, a propos of nothing,
" what is the chief advantage of being a Man
instead of a Dog ? "
" No, indeed," I said : " but I think there
are advantages on the Dog's side of the
question, as well."
" No doubt," she replied, with that pretty
mock-gravity that became her so well : " but,
on Mans side, the chief advantage seems to
me to consist in having pockets ! It was borne
in upon me upon us, I should say ; for my
father and I were returning from a walk-
only yesterday. We met a dog carrying home
294 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
a bone. What it wanted it for, I've no idea:
certainly there was no meat on it
A strange sensation came over me, that I
had heard all this, or something exactly like
it, before : and I almost expected her next
words to be " perhaps he meant to make a
cloak for the winter ? " However what she
really said was "and my father tried to ac-
count for it by some wretched joke about pro
bono publico. Well, the dog laid down the
bone not in disgust with the pun, which
would have shown it to be a dog of taste-
but simply to rest its jaws, poor thing ! I
did pity it so ! Won't you join my Charitable
Association for supplying dogs with pockets ?
How would you like to have to carry your
walking-stick in your mouth ? "
Ignoring the difficult question as to the
raison dtre of a walking-stick, supposing one
had no hands, I mentioned a curious instance,
I had once witnessed, of reasoning by a dog.
A gentleman, with a lady, and child, and a
large dog, were down at the end of a pier on
which I was walking. To amuse his child,
I suppose, the gentleman put down on the
Xixj A FAIRY-DUET. 295
ground his umbrella and the lady's parasol,
and then led the way to the other end of the
pier, from which he sent the dog back for the
deserted articles. I was watching with some
curiosity. The dog came racing back to where
I stood, but found an unexpected difficulty in
picking 'up the things it had come for. With
the umbrella in its mouth, its jaws were so
far apart that it could get no firm grip on the
parasol. After two or three failures, it paused
and considered the matter.
Then it put down the umbrella and began
with the parasol. Of course that didn't open
its jaws nearly so wide, and it was able to
get a good hold of the umbrella, and galloped
off in triumph. One couldn't doubt that it had
gone through a real train of logical thought.
" I entirely agree with you," said Lady
Muriel : "but don't orthodox writers condemn
that view, as putting Man on the level of the
lower animals ? Don't they draw a sharp
boundary-line between Reason and Instinct?"
" That certainly was the orthodox view, a
generation ago," said the Earl. " The truth
of Religion seemed ready to stand or fall with
296 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
the assertion that Man was the only reasoning
animal. But that is at an end now. Man can
still claim certain monopolies for instance,
such a use of language as enables us to utilise
the work of many, by ' division of labour.'
But the belief, that we have a monopoly of
Reason, has long been swept away. Yet no
catastrophe has followed. As some old poet
says, ' God is where he was' '
" Most religious believers would now agree
with Bishop Butler," said I, "and not reject
a line of argument, even if it led straight to
the conclusion that animals have some kind
of soul, which survives their bodily death."
" I would like to know that to be true ! "
Lady Muriel exclaimed. "If only for the sake
of trie poor horses. Sometimes I've thought
that, if anything could make me cease to be-
lieve in a God of perfect justice, it would be
the sufferings of horses without guilt to de-
serve it, and without any compensation ! "
" It is only part of the great Riddle," said
the Earl, "why innocent beings ever suffer. It
is a great strain on Faith but not a breaking
strain, I think."
xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 297
"The sufferings of horses" I said, "are
chiefly caused by Mans cruelty. So that is
merely one of the many instances of Sin
causing suffering to others than the Sinner
himself. But don't you find a greater diffi-
culty in sufferings inflicted by animals upon
each other ? For instance, a cat playing with
a mouse. Assuming it to have no moral
responsibility, isn't that a greater mystery
than a man over-driving a horse ? "
" I think it is" said Lady Muriel, looking a
mute appeal to her father.
" What right have we to make that assump-
tion ? " said the Earl. " Many of our religious
difficulties are merely deductions from unwar-
ranted assumptions. The wisest answer to
most of them, is, I think, ' behold, we know not
anything? ' :
" You mentioned ' division of labour,' just
now," I said. " Surely it is carried to a
wonderful perfection in a hive of bees ? "
" So wonderful so entirely super-human
said the Earl, " and so entirely incon-
sistent with the intelligence they show in other
ways that I feel no doubt at all that it is
298 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
pure Instinct, and not, as some hold, a very
high order of Reason. Look at the utter
stupidity of a bee, trying to find its way out of
an open window! It doesrit try, in any rea-
sonable sense of the word : it simply bangs
itself about ! We should call a puppy imbecile,
that behaved so. And yet we are asked to
believe that its intellectual level is above Sir
Isaac Newton ! "
"Then you hold that pure Instinct contains
no Reason at all ? "
" On the contrary," said the Earl, " I hold
that the work of a bee-hive involves Reason of
the highest order. But none of it is done by
the Bee. God has reasoned it all out, and has
put into the mind of the Bee the conclusions,
only, of the reasoning process."
" But how do their minds come to work
together?" I asked.
"What right have we to assume that they
have minds ? "
" Special pleading, special pleading ! " Lady
Muriel cried, in a most unfilial tone of triumph.
" Why, you yourself said, just now, ' the mind
of the Bee'!"
xix] A FAIRY- DUET. 299
"But I did not say ' minds,' my child," the
Earl gently replied. "It has occurred to me,
as the most probable solution of the ' Bee '-
mystery, that a swarm of Bees have only one
mind among them. We often see one mind
animating a most complex collection of limbs
and organs, when joined together. How do
we know that any material connection is neces-
sary ? May not mere neighbourhood be
enough ? If so, a swarm of bees is simply a
single animal whose many limbs are not quite
close together ! "
" It is a bewildering thought," I said, " and
needs a night's rest to grasp it properly. Rea-
son and Instinct both tell me I ought to go
home. So, good-night ! "
" I'll ' set ' you part of the way," said Lady
Muriel. " I've had no walk to-day. It will
do me good, and I have more to say to you.
Shall we go through the wood ? It will be
pleasanter than over the common, even though
it is getting a little dark."
We turned aside into the shade of interlacing
boughs, which formed an architecture of almost
perfect symmetry, grouped into lovely groined
300 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
arches, or running out, far as the eye could
follow, into endless aisles, and chancels, and
naves, like some ghostly cathedral, fashioned
out of the dream of a moon-struck poet.
"Always, in this wood," she began after a
pause (silence seemed natural in this dim
solitude), " I begin thinking of Fairies ! May
I ask you a question ? " she added hesitatingly.
" Do you believe in Fairies ? "
The momentary impulse was so strong to
tell her of my experiences in this very wood,
that I had to make a real effort to keep back
the words that rushed to my lips. "If you
mean, by ' believe,' ' believe in their possible
existence,' I say 'Yes.' For their actual exist-
ence, of course, one would need evidence"
" You were saying, the other day," she went
on, " that you would accept anything, on good
evidence, that was not a priori impossible.
And I think you named Ghosts as an instance
of a provable phenomenon. Would Fairies be
another instance ? "
" Yes, I think so." And again it was hard
to check the wish to say more : but I was not
yet sure of a sympathetic listener.
xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 301
"And have you any theory as to what sort
of place they would occupy in Creation ? Do
tell me what you think about them ! Would
they, for instance (supposing such beings to
exist), would they have any moral responsi-
bility ? I mean " (and the light bantering tone
suddenly changed to one of deep seriousness)
"would they be capable of sin?"
" They can reason on a lower level, per-
haps, than men and women never rising, I
think, above the faculties of a child ; and they
have a moral sense, most surely. Such a
being, without free will, would be an absurdity.
So I am driven to the conclusion that they
are capable of sin."
" You believe in them ? " she cried de-
lightedly, with a sudden motion as if about to
clap her hands. " Now tell me, have you any
reason for it ? "
And still I strove to keep back the revela-
tion I felt sure was coming. " I believe that
there is life everywhere not material only,
not merely what is palpable to our senses but
immaterial and invisible as well. We believe
in our own immaterial essence call it ' soul,'
302 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
or ' spirit,' or what you will. Why should not
other similar essences exist around us, not
linked on to a visible and material body ?
Did not God make this swarm of happy in-
sects, to dance in this sunbeam for one hour of
bliss, for no other object, that we can imagine,
than to swell . the sum of conscious happiness ?
And where shall we dare to draw the line, and
say ' He has made all these and no more ' ? "
" Yes, yes ! " she assented, watching me with
sparkling eyes. " But these are only reasons
for not denying. You have more reasons than
this, have you not ? "
" Well, yes," I said, feeling I might safely
tell all now. "And I could not find a fitter
time or place to say it. I have seen them
and in this very wood ! "
Lady Muriel asked no more questions. Si-
lently she paced at my side, with head bowed
down and hands clasped tightly together.
Only, as my tale went on, she drew a little
short quick breath now and then, like a child
panting with delight. And I told her what I
had never yet breathed to any other listener,
of my double life, and, more than that (for
xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 303
mine might have been but a noonday-dream),
of the double life of those two dear children.
And when I told her of Bruno's wild gambols,
she laughed merrily ; and when I spoke of
Sylvie's sweetness and her utter unselfishness
and trustful love, she drew a deep breath, like
one who hears at last some precious tidings for
which the heart has ached for a long while ;
and the happy tears chased one another down
her cheeks.
" I have often longed to meet an angel," she
whispered, so low that I could hardly catch the
words. " I'm so glad I've seen Sylvie ! My
heart went out to the child the first moment
that I saw her Listen ! " she broke off
suddenly. " That's Sylvie singing ! I'm sure
of it ! Don't you know her voice ? "
" I have heard Brimo sing, more than once,"
I said : " but I never heard Sylvie."
" I have only heard her once" said Lady-
Muriel. " It was that day when you brought
us those mysterious flowers. The children
had run out into the garden ; and I saw Eric
coming in that way, and went to the window
to meet him : and Sylvie was singing, under
304 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
the trees, a song I had never heard before.
The words were something like ' I think it is
Love, I feel it is Love.' Her voice sounded
far away, like a dream, but it was beautiful
beyond all words as sweet as an infant's
first smile, or the first gleam of the white, cliffs
when one is coming home after weary years
a voice that seemed to fill one's whole
being with peace and heavenly thoughts-
Listen ! " she cried, breaking off again in her
excitement. " That is her voice, and that's
the very song ! "
I could distinguish no words, but there was
a dreamy sense of music in the air that seemed
to grow ever louder and louder, as if coming
nearer to us. We stood quite silent, and in
another minute the two children appeared,
coming straight towards us through an arched
opening among the trees. Each had an arm
round the other, and the setting sun shed a
golden halo round their heads, like what one
sees in pictures of saints. They were looking
in our direction, but evidently did not see us,
and I soon made out that Lady Muriel had
for once passed into a condition familiar to
xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 305
me, that we were both of us ' eerie ', and that,
though we could see the children so plainly,
we were quite invisible to them.
The song ceased just as they came into
sight : but, to my delight, Bruno instantly said
" Let's sing it all again, Sylvie ! It did sound
so pretty ! " And Sylvie replied " Very well.
It's you to begin, you know."
So Bruno began, in the sweet childish treble
I knew so well :
"Say, what is tJie spell, when her fledgelings are
cheeping,
That hires the bird home to her nest ?
Or ivakes the tired mother, whose infant is weeping,
To cuddle and croon it to rest?
Whafs the magic that charms the glad babe in her
arms,
Till it cooes with the voice of the dove ? "
And now ensued quite the strangest of all
the strange experiences that marked the won-
derful year whose history I am writing the
experience of first hearing Sylvie's voice in
song. Her part was a very short one only a
few words and she sang it timidly, and very
low indeed, scarcely audibly, but the sweetness
'x
306 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
of her voice was simply indescribable ; I have
never heard any earthly music like it.
" ' Tis a secret, and so let ^^s whisper it low
A nd the name of the secret is Love ! "
On me the first effect of her voice was a
sudden sharp pang that seemed to pierce
through one's very heart. (I had felt such a
pang only once before in my life, and it had
been from seeing what, at the moment, realised
one's idea of perfect beauty it was in a
London exhibition, where, in making my way
through a crowd, I suddenly met, face to face,
a child of quite unearthly beauty.) Then came
a rush of burning tears to the eyes, as though
one could weep one's soul away for pure de-
light. And lastly there fell on me a sense of
awe that was almost terror some such feeling
as Moses must have had when he heard the
words " Put off thy shoes from off thy feet,
for the place whereon thou standest is holy
ground" The figures of the children be-
came vague and shadowy, like glimmering
meteors : while their voices rang together in
exquisite harmony as they sang :
Xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 307
" For I think it is Love,
For I feel it is Love,
For Pm sure it is notJiing but Love!"
By this time I could see them clearly once
more. Bruno again sang by himself:
" Say, whence is the voice that, when anger is
burning,
Bids the whirl of the tempest to cease ?
That stirs the vexed soul with an aching a
yearning
For the brotherly hand-grip of peace ?
Whence the music that fills all our being th fit-
thrills
A round us, beneath, and above ? "
Sylvie sang more courageously, this time :
the words seemed to carry her away, out of
herself :
" ' Tis a secret : none knows how it comes, how it
goes :
But the name of the secret is Love!"
And clear and strong the chorus rang out :
" For I think it is Love,
For I feel it is Love,
For I'm sure it is nothing but Love ! "
X 2
308 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Once more we heard Bruno's delicate little
voice alone :
" Say whose is the skill that paints valley and hill,
Like a picture so fair to the sight ?
That flecks the green meadow with sunshine and
shadow,
Till the little lambs leap with delight ? "
And again uprose that silvery voice, whose
angelic sweetness I could hardly bear :
"'Tts a secret untold to hearts cruel and cold,
Though 'tis siing, by the angels above,
In notes that ring clear for the ears that can
hear
And the name of the secret is Love!"
And then Bruno joined in again with
" For I think it is Love,
For I feel it is Love,
For I'm sure it is nothing but Love!"
" That are pretty ! " the little fellow exclaimed,
as the children passed us so closely that we
drew back a little to make room for them, and
it seemed we had only to reach out a hand to
touch them : but this we did not attempt.
xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 309
" No use to try and stop them ! " I said, as
they passed away into the shadows. "Why,
they could not even see us ! "
" No use at all," Lady Muriel echoed with a
sigh. " One would like to meet them again, in
living form ! But I feel, somehow, that can
never be. They have passed out of our lives ! "
She sighed again ; and no more was said, till
we came out into the main road, at a point
near my lodgings.
"Well, I will leave you here," she said. " I
want to get back before dark : and I have a
cottage-friend to visit, first. Good night, dear
friend ! Let us see you soon and often ! "
she added, with an affectionate warmth that
went to my very heart. "For those are few
we hold as dear ! "
" Good night ! " I answered. " Tennyson
said that of a worthier friend than me."
" Tennyson didn't know what he was talking
about ! " she saucily rejoined, with a touch of
her old childish gaiety ; and we parted.
CHAPTER XX.
GAMMON AND SPINACH.
MY landlady's welcome had an extra hearti-
ness about it : and though, with a rare delicacy
of feeling, she made no direct allusion to the
friend whose companionship had done so much
to brighten life for me, I felt sure that it was a
kindly sympathy with my solitary state that
made her so specially anxious to do all she
could think of to ensure my comfort, and make
me feel at home.
The lonely evening seemed long and tedious :
yet I lingered on, watching the dying fire, and
letting Fancy mould the red embers into the
xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 311
forms and faces belonging to bygone scenes.
Now it seemed to be Bruno's roguish smile
that sparkled for a moment, and died away :
now it was Sylvie's rosy cheek : and now the
Professor's jolly round face, beaming with deT
light. " You're welcome, my little ones ! " he
seemed to say. And then the red coal, which
for the moment embodied the dear old Pro-
fessor, began to wax dim, and with its dying
lustre the words seemed to die away into si-
lence. I seized the poker, and with an artful
touch or two revived the waning glow, while
Fancy no coy minstrel she sang me once
again the magic strain I loved to hear.
" You're welcome, little ones ! " the cheery
voice repeated. " I told them you were
coming. Your rooms are all ready for you.
And the Emperor and the Empress well,
I think they're rather pleased than otherwise !
In fact, Her Highness said ' I hope they'll be
in time for the Banquet ! ' . Those were her
very words, I assure you ! "
"Will Uggug be at the Banquet?" Bruno
asked. And both children looked uneasy at the
dismal suggestion.
312 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Why, of course he will ! " chuckled the Pro-
fessor. " Why, it's his birthday, don't you
know ? And his health will be drunk, and all
that sort of thing. What would the Banquet be
without him ? "
" Ever so much nicer," said Bruno. But he
said it in a very low voice, and nobody but
Sylvie heard him.
The Professor chuckled again. " It'll be a
jolly Banquet, now you've come, my little man !
I am so glad to see you again ! "
" I 'fraid we've been very long in coming,"
Bruno politely remarked.
" Well, yes," the Professor assented. " How-
ever, you're very short now you're come : that's
some comfort." And he went on to enumerate
the plans for the day. " The Lecture comes
first," he said. " That the Empress insists on.
She says people will eat so much at the Ban-
quet, they'll be too sleepy to attend to the
Lecture afterwards and perhaps she's right.
There'll just be a little refreshment, when the
people first arrive as a kind of surprise
for the Empress, you know. Ever since
she's been well, not quite so clever as she
xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 313
once was we've found it desirable to con-
coct little surprises for her. Then comes the
Lecture
" What ? The Lecture you were getting
ready ever so long ago ? " Sylvie enquired.
" Yes that's the one," the Professor rather
reluctantly admitted. " It has taken a goodish
time to prepare. I've got so many other
things to attend to. For instance, I'm Court-
Physician. I have to keep all the Royal
Servants in good health and that reminds
me ! " he cried, ringing the bell in a great
hurry. " This is Medicine-Day ! We only
give Medicine once a week. If we were to
begin giving it every day, the bottles would
soon be empty ! "
" But if they were ill on the other days ? "
Sylvie suggested.
" What, ill on the wrong day /" exclaimed
the Professor. " Oh, that would never do !
A Servant would be dismissed at once, who
was ill on the wrong day ! This is the Medi-
cine for today," he went on, taking down a
large jug from a shelf. " I mixed it, myself,
first thing this morning. Taste it ! " he said,
314 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
holding out the jug to Bruno. " Dip in your
finger, and taste it ! "
Bruno did so, and made such an excru-
ciatingly wry face that Sylvie exclaimed, in
alarm, " Oh, Bruno, you mustn't ! "
"It's welly extremely nasty!" Bruno said,
as his face resumed its natural shape.
"Nasty?" said the Professor. "Why, of
course it is ! What would Medicine be, if it
wasn't nasty ? "
" Nice," said Bruno.
" I was going to say the Professor
faltered, rather taken aback by the prompt-
ness of Bruno's reply, " that that would
never do ! Medicine has to be nasty, you
know. Be good enough to take this jug,
down into the Servants' Hall," he said to the
footman who answered the bell : " and tell
them it's their Medicine for today"
11 Which of them is to drink it ? " the foot-
man asked, as he carried off the jug.
"Oh, I've not settled that yet!" the Pro-
fessor briskly replied. " I'll come and settle
that, soon. Tell them not to begin, on any
account, till I come! It's really wonderful"
XX] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 315
he said, turning to the children, "the suc-
cess I've had in curing Diseases! Here are
some of my memoranda." He took down
from the shelf a heap of little bits of paper,
pinned together in twos and threes. "Just
look at this set, now. ' Under-Cook Number
Thirteen recovered from Common Fever Fe-
bris Communist And now see what's pinned
to it. ' Gave Under-Cook Number Thirteen a
Double Dose of Medicine' That ' s something
to be proud of, isnt it ? "
"But which happened first ?" said Sylvie,
looking very much puzzled.
The Professor examined the papers care-
fully. "They are not dated, I find," he said
with a slightly dejected air : " so I fear I ca'n't
tell you. But they both happened : there's no
doubt of that. The Medicine s the great thing,
you know. The Diseases are much less im-
portant. You can keep a Medicine, for years
and years : but nobody ever wants to keep
a Disease ! By the way, come and look at
the platform. The Gardener asked me to
come and see if it would do. We may as
well go before it gets dark."
316 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" We'd like to, very much ! " Sylvie replied.
" Come, Bruno, put on your hat. Don't keep
the dear Professor waiting!"
"Can't find my hat!" the little fellow sadly
replied. " I were rolling it about. And it's
rolled itself away ! "
" Maybe it's rolled in there" Sylvie sug-
gested, pointing to a dark recess, the door of
which stood half open : and Bruno ran in to
look. After a minute he came slowly out
again, looking very grave, and carefully shut
the cupboard-door after him.
" It aren't in there," he said, with such un-
usual solemnity, that Sylvie's curiosity was
roused.
" What is in there, Bruno ? "
" There's cobwebs and two spiders-
Bruno thoughtfully replied, checking off the
catalogue on his fingers, " and the cover
of a picture-book and a tortoise and a
dish of nuts and an old man."
"An old man!" cried the Professor, trotting
across the room in great excitement. " Why,
it must be the Other Professor, that's been lost
for ever so long ! "
XX]
GAMMON AND SPINACH.
317
He opened the
door of the cup-
board wide : and
there he was, the
Other Professor,
sitting in a chair,
with a book on
his knee, and in
the act of help-
ing himself to a
nut from a dish,
which he had ta-
ken down off a
shelf just within
his reach. He
looked round at
us, but said nothing till he had cracked and
eaten the nut. Then he asked the old ques-
tion. " Is the Lecture all ready?"
" It'll begin in an hour," the Professor said,
evading the question. " First, we must have
something to surprise the Empress. And then
comes the Banquet
" The Banquet ! " cried the Other Professor,
springing up, and filling the room with a cloud
318 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
of dust. Then I'd better go and and brush
myself a little. What a state I'm in ! "
" He does want brushing ! " the Professor
said, with a critical air, " Here's your hat, little
man! I had put it on by mistake. I'd quite
forgotten I had one on, already. Let's go
and look at the platform."
"And there's that nice old Gardener sing-
ing still!" Bruno exclaimed in delight, as we
went out into the garden. " I do believe he's
been singing that very song ever since we
went away ! "
" Why, of course he has ! " replied the Pro-
fessor. "It wouldn't be the thing to leave off,
you know."
" Wouldn't be what thing ? " said Bruno :
but the Professor thought it best not to hear
the question. " What are you doing with that
hedgehog ? " he shouted at the Gardener, whom
they found standing upon one foot, singing
softly to himself, and rolling a hedgehog up
and down with the other foot.
"Well, I wanted fur to know what hedge-
hogs lives on : so I be a-keeping this here
hedgehog fur to see if it eats potatoes
xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 319
" Much better keep a potato," said the Pro-
fessor ; " and see if hedgehogs eat it ! "
"That be the roight way, sure-ly!" the de-
lighted Gardener exclaimed. " Be you come
to see the platform ? "
"Aye, aye!" the Professor cheerily replied
" And the children have come back, you see ! "
The Gardener looked round at them with a
grin. Then he led the way to the Pavilion ;
and as he went he sang :
"He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three :
' And all its Mystery' he said,
Is clear as day to me ! ' '
" You've been months over that song," said
the Professor. " Isn't it finished yet ?"
" There be only one verse more," the Gar-
dener sadly replied. And, with tears streaming
down his cheeks, he sang the last verse :
" He thought he saw an Argument
That proved he was tJie Pope :
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
' A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
' Extinguishes all hope ! ' '
320 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Choking with sobs, the Gardener hastily
stepped on a few yards ahead of the party,
to conceal his emotion.
"Did he see the Bar of Mottled Soap?"
Sylvie enquired, as we followed.
" Oh, certainly ! " said the Professor. " That
song is his own history, you know."
Tears of an ever-ready sympathy glittered
in Bruno's eyes. " Ps welly sorry he isn't the
Pope ! " he said. " Aren't you sorry, Sylvie ? "
"Well 1 hardly know," Sylvie replied in
the vaguest manner. " Would it make him
any happier ? " she asked the Professor.
"It wouldn't make the Pope any happier,"
said the Professor. " Isn't the platform lovely ?"
he asked, as we entered the Pavilion.
" I've put an extra beam under it!" said the
Gardener, paUing it affectionately as he spoke.
" And now it's that strong, as as a mad
elephant might dance upon it ! "
" Thank you very much ! " the Professor
heartily rejoined. " I don't know that we shall
exactly require but it's convenient to know."
And he led the children upon the platform, to
explain the arrangements to them. " Here are
xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 321
three seats, you see, for the Emperor and the
Empress and Prince Uggug. But there must
be two more chairs here ! " he said, looking
down at the Gardener. " One for Lady Sylvie,
and one for the smaller animal ! "
" And may I help in the Lecture ? " said
Bruno. " I can do some conjuring-tricks."
" Well, it's not exactly a conjuring lecture,"
the Professor said, as he arranged some curious-
looking machines on the table. " However,
what can you do ? Did you ever go through a
table, for instance ? "
" Often ! " said Bruno. " Haven t I, Sylvie ?"
The Professor was evidently surprised, though
he tried not to show it. " This must be looked
into," he muttered to himself, taking out a note-
book. " And first what kind of table ? "
" Tell him ! " Bruno whispered to Sylvie,
putting his arms round her neck.
" Tell him yourself," said Sylvie.
" Can't," said Bruno. " It's a bony word."
" Nonsense ! " laughed Sylvie. " You can
say it well enough, if you only try. Come ! "
"Muddle " said Bruno. "That's a bit
of it."
322 SYLV1E AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" What does he say ? " cried the bewildered
Professor.
" He means the multiplication-table," Sylvie
explained.
The Professor looked annoyed, and shut up
his note-book again. " Oh, that's quite another
thing," he said.
" It are ever so many other things," said
Bruno. " Arerit it, Sylvie ? "
A loud blast of trumpets interrupted this
conversation. " Why, the entertainment has
begun / " the Professor exclaimed, as he hur-
ried the children into the Reception-Saloon.
" I had no idea it was so late ! "
A small table, containing cake and wine,
stood in a corner of the Saloon ; and here we
found the Emperor and Empress waiting for
us. The rest of the Saloon had been cleared
of furniture, to make room for the guests.
I was much struck by the great change a few
months had made in the faces of the Impe-
rial Pair. A vacant stare was now the Em-
peror s usual expression ; while over the face
of the Empress there flitted, ever and anon,
a meaningless smile.
xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 323
" So you're come at last ! " the Emperor
sulkily remarked, as the Professor and the
children took their places. It was evident that
he was very much out of temper : and we were
not long in learning the cause of this. He did
not consider the preparations, made for the
Imperial party, to be such as suited their
rank. " A common mahogany table ! " he
growled, pointing to it contemptuously with
his thumb. " Why wasn't it made of gold, I
should like to know ? "
" It would have taken a very long " the
Professor began, but the Emperor cut the
sentence short.
" Then the cake 1 Ordinary plum ! Why
wasn't it made of of " He broke off
again. " Then the wine ! Merely old Madeira !
Why wasn't it ? Then this chair ! That's
worst of all. Why wasn't it a throne ? One
might excuse the other omissions, but I cant
get over the chair ! "
" W'hat / ca'n't get over," said the Empress,
in eager sympathy with her angry husband, " is
the table ! "
" Pooh !" said the Emperor.
Y 2
324 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"It is much to be regretted ! " the Professor
mildly replied, as soon as he had a chance
of speaking. After a moment's thought he
strengthened the remark. "Everything" he
said, addressing Society in general, " is very
much to be regretted ! "
A murmur of " Hear, hear ! " rose from the
crowded Saloon.
There was a rather awkward pause : ' the
Professor evidently didn't know how to begin.
The Empress leant forwards, and whispered to
him. "A few jokes, you know, Professor-
just to put people at their ease ! "
" True, true, Madam ! " the Professor meekly
replied. " This little boy
" Please don't make any jokes about me / "
Bruno exclaimed, his eyes filling with tears.
" I won't if you'd rather I didn't," said the
kind-hearted Professor. "It was only some-
thing about a Ship's Buoy : a harmless pun-
but it doesn't matter." Here he turned to the
crowd and addressed them in a loud voice.
"Learn your A's!" he shouted. "Your B's!
Your C's ! And your D's ! Then you'll be at
your ease ! "
xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 325
There was a roar of laughter from all the
assembly, and then a great deal of confused
whispering. " What was it he said ? Some-
thing about bees, I fancy ."
The Empress smiled in her meaningless
way, and fanned herself. The poor Professor
looked at her timidly : he was clearly at his
wits' end again, and hoping for another hint.
The Empress whispered again.
" Some spinach, you know, Professor, as a
surprise."
The Professor beckoned to the Head-Cook,
and said something to him in a low voice.
Then the Head-Cook left the room, followed
by all the other cooks.
"It's difficult to get things started," the Pro-
fessor remarked to Bruno. " When once we
get started, it'll go on all right, you'll see."
" If oo want to startle people," said Bruno,
"oo should put live frogs on their backs."
Here the cooks all came in again, in a
procession, the Head-Cook coming last and
carrying something, which the others tried to
hide by waving flags all round it. " Nothing
but flags, Your Imperial Highness! Nothing
326 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 327
but flags ! " he kept repeating, as he set it
before her. Then all the flags were dropped
in a moment, as the Head-Cook raised the
cover from an enormous dish.
" What is it ? " the Empress said faintly, as
she put her spy-glass to her eye. " Why, it's
Spinach, I declare ! "
" Her Imperial Highness is surprised," the
Professor explained to the attendants : and
some of them clapped their hands. The
Head-Cook made a low bow, and in doing
so dropped a spoon on the table, as if by
accident, just within reach of the Empress,
who looked the other way and pretended not
to see it.
" I am surprised ! " the Empress said to
Bruno. " Aren't you ? "
"Not a bit," said Bruno. "I heard "
but Sylvie put her hand over his mouth, and
spoke for him. " He's rather tired, I think.
He wants the Lecture to begin."
" I want the supper to begin," Bruno cor-
rected her.
The Empress took up the spoon in an
absent manner, and tried to balance it across
328 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
the back of her hand, and in doing this she
dropped it into the dish : and, when she took
it out again, it was full of spinach. " How
curious ! " she said, and put it into her mouth.
" It tastes just like real spinach ! I thought it
was an imitation but I do believe it's real ! "
And she took another spoonful.
"It wo'n't be real much longer," said Bruno.
But the Empress had had enough spinach
by this time, and somehow 1 failed to notice
the exact process we all found ourselves in
the Pavilion, and the Professor in the act of
beginning the long-expected Lecture.
CHAPTER XXI.
THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE.
" IN Science in fact, in most things it is
usually best to begin at the beginning. In some
things, of course, it's better to begin at the
other end. For instance, if you wanted to
paint a dog green, it might be best to begin
with the tail, as it doesn't bite at that end.
And so "
" May / help oo ?" Bruno interrupted.
"Help me to do what?" said the puzzled
Professor, looking up for a moment, but keep-
ing his finger on the book he was reading from,
so as not to lose his place.
330 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" To paint a dog green ! " cried Bruno. " Oo
can begin wiz its mouf, and I'll
" No, no ! " said the Professor. " We haven't
got to the Experiments yet. And so," return-
ing to his note-book, " I'll give you the Axioms
of Science. After that I shall exhibit some
Specimens. Then I shall explain a Process or
two. And I shall conclude with a few Ex-
periments. An Axiom, you know, is a thing
that you accept without contradiction. For
instance, if I were to say ' Here we are ! ', that
would be accepted without any contradiction,
and it's a nice sort of remark to begin a con-
versation with. So it would be an Axiom. Or
again, supposing I were to say ' Here we are
not ! '. that would be
" a fib ! " cried Bruno.
" Oh, Bruno ! " said Sylvie in a warning
whisper. " Of course it would be an Axiom,
if the Professor said it ! "
" that would be accepted, if people were
civil," continued the Professor ; " so it would
be another Axiom."
" It might be an Axledum," Bruno said :
" but it wouldn't be true f"
Xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 331
" Ignorance of Axioms," the Lecturer con-
tinued, " is a great drawback in life. It wastes
so much time to have to say them over and
over again. For instance, take the Axiom 'No-
thing is greater than itself ; that is, ' Nothing
can contain itself' How often you hear people
say ' He was so excited, he was quite unable
to contain himself.' Why, of course he was
unable ! The excitement had nothing to do
with it ! "
" I say, look here, you know ! " said the
Emperor, who was getting a little restless.
" How many Axioms are you going to give
us ? At this rate, we sha'n't get to the Experi-
ments till to-morrow-week ! "
" Oh, sooner than that, I assure you ! " the
Professor replied, looking up in alarm. " There
are only," (he referred to his notes again) " only
two more, that are really necessary."
" Read 'em out, and get on to the Speci-
mens" grumbled the Emperor.
" The First Axiom," the Professor read out
in a great hurry, " consists of these words,
' Whatever is, is.' And the Second consists of
these words, ' Whatever isrit, isrit? We will
332 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
now go on to the Specimens. The first tray
contains Crystals and other Things." He
drew it towards him, and again referred to his
note-book. " Some of the labels owing to
insufficient adhesion Here he stopped
again, and carefully examined the page with
his eyeglass. " I ca'n't quite read the rest of
the sentence," he said at last, " but it means
that the labels have come loose, and the Things
have got mixed
" Let me stick 'em on again ! " cried Bruno
eagerly, and began licking them, like postage-
stamps, and dabbing them down upon the Crys-
tals and the other Things. But the Professor
hastily moved the tray out of his reach. " They
might get fixed to the wrong Specimens, you
know ! " he said.
" Oo shouldn't have any wrong peppermints
in the tray ! " Bruno boldly replied. " Should
he, Sylvie ? "
But Sylvie only shook her head.
The Professor heard him not. He had taken
up one of the bottles, and was carefully reading
the label through his eye-glass. " Our first
Specimen " he announced, as he placed the
xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 333
bottle in front of the other Things, " is that
is, it is called " here he took it up, and
examined the label again, as if he thought
it might have changed since he last saw it,
" is called Aqua Pura common water the
fluid that cheers "
"Hip! Hip! Hip!" the Head-Cook began
enthusiastically.
" but not inebriates ! " the Professor went
on quickly, but only just in time to check
the " Hooroar ! " which was beginning.
" Our second Specimen," he went on, care-
fully opening a small jar, " is " here he
removed the lid, and a large beetle instantly
darted out, and with an angry buzz went
straight out of the Pavilion, " is -or rather,
I should say," looking sadly into the empty
jar, "it was a curious kind of Blue Beetle.
Did any one happen to remark as it went
past three blue spots under each wing?"
Nobody had remarked them.
" Ah, well ! " the Professor said with a sigh.
"It's a pity. Unless you remark that kind of
thing at the moment, it's very apt to get over-
looked ! The next Specimen, at any rate, will
334 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
not fly away! It is in short, or perhaps,
more correctly, at length an Elephant. You
will observe ." Here he beckoned to the
Gardener to come up on the platform, and with
his help began putting together what looked
like an enormous dog-kennel, with short tubes
projecting out of it on both sides.
" But we've seen Elephants before," the
Emperor grumbled.
" Yes, but not through a Megaloscope ! " the
Professor eagerly replied. " You know you
can't see a Flea, properly, without a magnify-
z/^-glass what we call a Microscope. Well,
just in the same way, you ca'n't see an Ele-
phant, properly, without a mimmi/yzng--g\ass.
There's one in each of these little tubes. And
this is a Megaloscope ! The Gardener will
now bring in the next Specimen. Please open
both curtains, down at the end there, and make
way for the Elephant ! "
There was a general rush to the sides of the
Pavilion, and all eyes were turned to the open
end, watching for the return of the Gardener,
who had gone away singing " He thought he
saw an Elephant That practised on a Fife ! "
xxi]
THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE.
335
There was silence for a minute : and then his
harsh voice was heard again in the distance.
" He looked again come up, then ! He looked
again, and found it was woa back ! and
found it was A letter from his make way
there ! He's a-coming ! "
And in marched, or waddled it is hard to
say which is the right word an Elephant, on
its hind-legs, and playing on an enormous fife
which it held with its fore-feet
336 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
The Professor hastily threw open a large
door at the end of the Megaloscope, and the
huge animal, at a signal from the Gardener,
dropped the fife, and obediently trotted into
the machine, the door of which was at once
shut by the Professor. " The Specimen is
now ready for observation ! " he proclaimed.
"It is exactly the size of the Common Mouse
Mus Communis ! "
There was a general rush to the tubes,
and the spectators watched with delight the
minikin creature, as it playfully coiled its trunk
round the Professor's extended finger, finally
taking its stand upon the palm of his hand,
while he carefully lifted it out, and carried it off
to exhibit to the Imperial party.
" Isn't it a darling ? " cried Bruno. " May I
stroke it, please ? I'll touch it welly gently ! "
The Empress inspected it solemnly with her
eye-glass. " It is very small," she said in a
deep voice. " Smaller than elephants usually
are, I believe ? "
The Professor gave a start of delighted
surprise. " Why, that's true / " he murmured to
himself. Then louder, turning to the audience,
xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 337
" Her Imperial Highness has made a remark
which is perfectly sensible ! " And a wild cheer
arose from that vast multitude.
" The next Specimen," the Professor pro-
claimed, after carefully placing the little Ele-
phant in the tray, among the Crystals and
other Things, " is a Flea, which we will enlarge
for the purposes of observation." Taking a
small pill-box from the tray, he advanced to
the Megaloscope, and reversed all the tubes.
" The Specimen is ready ! " he cried, with his
eye at one of the tubes, while he carefully
emptied the pill-box through a little hole at the
side. " It is now the size of the Common
Horse Equus Communis ! "
There was another general rush, to look
through the tubes, and the Pavilion rang with
shouts of delight, through which the Professor's
anxious tones could scarcely be heard. " Keep
the door of the Microscope shut /" he cried.
"If the creature were to escape, this size, it
would " But the mischief was done. The
door had swung open, and in another moment
the Monster had got out, and was trampling
down the terrified, shrieking spectators.
z
338 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
But the Professor's presence of mind did not
desert him. " Undraw those curtains ! " he
shouted. It was done. The Monster gathered
its legs together, and in one tremendous bound
vanished into the sky.
" Where is it ? " said the Emperor, rubbing
his eyes.
"In the next Province, I fancy," the Pro-
fessor replied. " That jump would take it at
least five miles ! The next thing is to ex-
plain a Process or two. But I find there is
hardly room enough to operate the smaller
animal is rather in my way "
<( Who does he mean ? " Bruno whispered
to Sylvie.
"He means you ! " Sylvie whispered back.
"Hush!"
" Be kind enough to move angularly
to this corner," the Professor said, addressing
himself to Bruno.
Bruno hastily moved his chair in the direc-
tion indicated. " Did I move angrily enough ? "
he inquired. But the Professor was once more
absorbed in his Lecture, which he was reading
from his note-book.
XXI] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 339
" I will now explain the Process of the
name is blotted, I'm sorry to say. It will
be illustrated by a number of of " here
he examined the page for some time, and
at last said " It seems to be either ' Ex-
periments ' or ' Specimens ' "
" Let it be Experiments" said the Emperor.
" We've seen plenty of Specimens!'
" Certainly, certainly ! " the Professor as-
sented. " We will have some Experiments."
" May / do them ? " Bruno eagerly asked.
" Oh dear no ! " The Professor looked dis-
mayed. " I really don't know what would
happen if you did them ! "
" Nor nobody doosn't know what'll happen
if oo doos them ! " Bruno retorted.
" Our First Experiment requires a Machine.
It has two knobs only two you can count
thern, if you like."
The Head-Cook stepped forwards, counted
them, and retired satisfied.
" Now you might press those two knobs to-
gether but that's not the way to do it. Or
you might turn the Machine upside-down
but that's not the way to do it ! "
z 2
340 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" What are the way to do it ? " said Bruno,
who was listening very attentively.
The Professor smiled benignantly. " Ah,
yes ! " he said, in a voice like the heading of a
chapter. " The Way To Do It ! Permit me ! "
and in a moment he had whisked Bruno upon
the table. " I divide my subject," he began,
" into three parts "
" I think I'll get down !" Bruno whispered to
Sylvie. " It aren't nice to be divided ! "
" He hasn't got a knife, silly boy ! " Sylvie
whispered in reply. " Stand still ! You'll break
all the bottles ! "
" The first part is to take hold of the knobs,"
putting them into Bruno's hands. " The second
part is Here he turned the handle, and,
with a loud " Oh ! ", Bruno dropped both the
knobs, and began rubbing his elbows.
The Professor chuckled in delight. "It had
a sensible effect Hadrit it ? " he enquired.
" No, it hadn't a sensible effect ! " Bruno said
indignantly. " It were very silly indeed. It
jingled my elbows, and it banged my back,
and it crinkled my hair, and it buzzed among
my bones!"
xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 341
"I'm sure it didrit!" said Sylvie. "You're
only inventing ! "
" Oo doosn't know nuffin about it ! " Bruno
replied. " Oo wasn't there to see. Nobody
ca'n't go among my bones. There isn't room ! "
" Our Second Experiment," the Professor
announced, as Bruno returned to his place, still
thoughtfully rubbing his elbows, " is the pro-
duction of that seldom-seen-but-greatly-to-be-
admired phenomenon, Black Light ! You have
seen White Light, Red Light, Green Light, and
so on : but never, till this wonderful day, have
any eyes but mine seen Black Light ! This
box," carefully lifting it upon the table, and
covering it with a heap of blankets, " is quite
full of it. The way I made it was this 1
took a lighted candle into a dark cupboard and
shut the door. Of course the cupboard was
then full of Yellow Light. Then I took a bottle
of Black ink, and poured it over the candle :
and, to my delight, every atom of the Yellow
Light turned Black ! That was indeed the
proudest moment of my life ! Then I filled a
box with it. And now would any one like
to get under the blankets and see it ? "
342 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Dead silence followed this appeal : but at last
Bruno said " /'// get under, if it won't jingle
my elbows."
Satisfied on this point, Bruno crawled .under
the blankets, and, after a minute or two, crawled
out again, very hot and dusty, and with his hair
in the wildest confusion.
" What did you see in the box ? " Sylvie
eagerly enquired.
"I saw nuffinf" Bruno sadly replied. "It
were too dark ! "
" He has described the appearance of the
thing exactly ! " the Professor exclaimed with
enthusiasm. " Black Light, and Nothing, look
so extremely alike, at first sight, that I don't
wonder he failed to distinguish them ! We will
now proceed to the Third Experiment."
The Professor came down, and led the way
to where a post had been driven firmly into
the ground. To one side of the post was
fastened a chain, with an iron weight hooked
on to the end of it, and from the other side
projected a piece of whalebone, with a ring
at the end of it. " This is a most interesting
Experiment!" the Professor announced. "It
xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 343
will need time, I'm afraid : but that is a trifling
disadvantage. Now observe. If I were to un-
hook this weight, and let go, it would fall to the
ground. You do not deny that ? "
Nobody denied it.
"And in the same way, if I were to bend
this piece of whalebone round the post thus
and put the ring over this hook thus it
stays bent : but, if I unhook it, it straightens
itself again. You do not deny that?"
Again, nobody denied it.
" Well, now, suppose we left things just as
they are, for a long time. The force of the
whalebone would get exhausted, you know, and
it would stay bent, even when you unhooked it.
Now, why shouldn't the same thing happen
with the weight ? The whalebone gets so
used to being bent, that it ca'n't straighten
itself any more. Why shouldn't the weight
get so used to being held up, that it ca'n't fall
any more ? That's what / want to know ! "
" That's what we want to know ! " echoed
the crowd.
" How long must we wait ? " grumbled the
Emperor.
344 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
The Professor looked at his watch. "Well,
I think a thousand years will do to begin with,"
he said. " Then we will cautiously unhook
the weight : and, if it still shows (as perhaps
it will) a slight tendency to fall, we will hook
it on to the chain again, and leave it for
another thousand years."
Here the Empress experienced one of those
flashes of Common Sense which were the sur-
prise of all around her. " Meanwhile there'll
be time for another Experiment," she said.
"There will indeed/" cried the delighted
Professor. " Let us return to the platform, and
proceed to the Fourth Experiment ! "
" For this concluding Experiment, I will take
a certain Alkali, or Acid 1 forget which.
Now you'll see what will happen when I mix
it with Some ' here he took up a bottle,
and looked at it doubtfully, " when I mix
it with with Something
Here the Emperor interrupted. " What's the
name of the stuff?" he asked.
" I don't remember the name" said the Pro-
fessor : "and the label has come off/' He
emptied it quickly into the other bottle, and,
xxi]
THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE.
345
with a tremendous bang, both bottles flew to
pieces, upsetting all the machines, and filling
the Pavilion with thick black smoke. I sprang
to my feet in terror, and and found myself
standing before my solitary hearth, where the
poker, dropping at last from the hand of the
sleeper, had knocked over the tcngs and the
shovel, and had upset the kettle, filling the air
with clouds of steam. With a weary sigh, I
betook myself to bed.
CHAPTER XXII.
THE BANQUET.
" Heaviness may endure for a night : but joy
comet h in the morning." The next day found
me quite another being. Even the memories of
my lost friend and companion were sunny as
the genial weather that smiled around me. I
did not venture to trouble Lady Muriel, or her
father, with another call so soon : but took a
walk into the country, and only turned home-
wards when the low sunbeams warned me that
day would soon be over.
On my way home, I passed the cottage where
the old man lived, whose face always recalled
XXII] THE BANQUET. 347
to me the day when I first met Lady Muriel ;
and I glanced in as I passed, half-curious to see
if he were still living there.
Yes : the old man was still alive. He was
sitting out in the porch, looking just as he did
when I first saw him at Fay field Junction
it seemed only a few days ago !
" Good evening ! " I said, pausing.
" Good evening, Maister ! " he cheerfully
responded. " Won't ee step in ? "
I stepped in, and took a seat on the bench
in the porch. " I'm glad to see you looking
so hearty," I began. " Last time, I remember,
I chanced to pass just as Lady Muriel was
coming away from the house. Does she still
come to see you ? "
" Ees," he answered slowly. " She has na
forgotten me. I don't lose her bonny face for
many days together. Well I mind the very
first time she come, after we'd met at Railway
Station. She told me as she come to mak'
amends. Dear child! Only think o' that!
To mak' amends ! "
" To make amends for what ? " I enquired.
" What could she have done to need it ? "
348 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Well, it were loike this, you see ? We were
both on us a- waiting fur t' train at t' Junction.
And I had setten mysen down upat t' bench.
And Station-Maister, he comes and he orders
me off fur t' mak' room for her Ladyship,
you understand ? "
" I remember it all," I said. " I was there
myself, that day."
" Was you, now ? Well, an' she axes my
pardon fur 't. Think o' that, now ! My pardon !
An owd ne'er-do-weel like me ! Ah ! She's
been here many a time, sin' then. Why, she
were in here only yestere'en, as it were, a-
sittin', as it might be, where you're a-sitting
now, an' lookin' sweeter and kinder nor an
angel ! An' she says ' You've not got your
Minnie, now, ' she says, ' to fettle for ye.'
Minnie was my grand-daughter, Sir, as lived
wi' me. She died, a matter of two months
ago or it may be three. She was a bonny
lass and a good lass, too. Eh, but life has
been rare an' lonely without her ! "
He covered his face in his hands : and I
waited a minute or two, in silence, for him to
recover himself.
XXII] THE BANQUET. 349
" So she says ' Just tak' me fur your Minnie ! '
she says. ' Didna Minnie mak' your tea fur
you?' says she. 'Ay,' says I. An' she mak's
the tea. * An' didna Minnie light your pipe ? '
says she. 'Ay,' says I. An' she lights the
pipe for me. ' An' didna Minnie set out your
tea in t' porch ? ' An' I says ' My dear,' I
says, 'I'm thinking you're Minnie hersen!'
An' she cries a bit. We both on us cries a
bit ."
Again I kept silence for a while.
" An' while I smokes my pipe, she sits an'
talks to me as loving an' as pleasant ! I'll
be bound I thowt it were Minnie come again !
An' when she gets up to go, I says ' Winnot ye
shak' hands wi' me ? ' says I. An' she says
' Na,' she says: 'a cannot shaft hands wi'
thee ! ' she says."
" I'm sorry she said that" I put in, thinking
it was the only instance I had ever known of
pride of rank showing itself in Lady Muriel.
" Bless you, it werena pride ! " said the
old man, reading my thoughts. " She says
' Your Minnie never shook hands wi' you ! ' she
says. 'An' I'm your Minnie now,' she says.
350 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
<r
An' she just puts her dear arms about my
neck and she kisses me on t' cheek an'
may God in Heaven bless her ! " And here
the poor old man broke down entirely, and
could say no more.
" God bless her ! " I echoed. " And good
night to you ! " I pressed his hand, and left
XXII] THE BANQUET. 351
him. " Lady Muriel," I said softly to myself
as I went homewards, " truly you know how
to ' mak' amends ' ! "
Seated once more by my lonely fireside, I
tried to recall the strange vision of the night
before, and to conjure up the face of the dear
old Professor among the blazing coals. " That
black one with just a touch of red would
suit him well," I thought. " After such a catas-
trophe, it would be sure to be covered with
black stains and he would say :
" The result of that combination you may
have noticed ? was an Explosion ! Shall I
repeat the Experiment ? "
" No, no ! Don't trouble yourself ! " was the
general cry. And we all trooped off, in hot
haste, to the Banqueting- Hall, where the feast
had already begun.
No time was lost in helping the dishes, and
very speedily every guest found his plate filled
with good things.
" I have always maintained the principle,"
the Professor began, " that it is a good rule
to take some food occasionally. The great
advantage of dinner-parties " he broke off
352 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
Xxn] THE BANQUET. 353
suddenly. " Why, actually here's the Other
Professor ! " he cried. " And there's no place
left for him ! "
The Other Professor came in reading a large
book, which he held close to his eyes. One
result of his not looking where he was going
was that he tripped up, as he crossed the
Saloon, flew up into the air, and fell heavily
on his face in the middle of the table.
" What a pity ! " cried the kind-hearted Pro-
fessor, as he helped him up.
" It wouldn't be me, if I didn't trip," said the
Other Professor.
The Professor looked much shocked. " Al-
most anything would be better than that ! " he
exclaimed. " It never does," he added, aside
to Bruno, " to be anybody else, does it ?"
To which Bruno gravely replied " I's got
nuffin on my plate."
The Professor hastily put on his spectacles,
to make sure that the facts were all right, to
begin with : then he turned his jolly round
face upon the unfortunate owner of the empty
plate. " And what would you like next,
my little man ? "
A A
354 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"Well," Bruno said, a little doubtfully, "I
think I'll take some plum-pudding, please
while I think of it."
"Oh, Bruno!" (This was a whisper from
Sylvie.) "It isn't good manners to ask for a
dish before it comes ! "
And Bruno whispered back " But I might for-
get to ask for some, when it comes, oo know
I do forget things, sometimes," he added,
seeing Sylvie about to whisper more.
And this assertion Sylvie did not venture to
contradict.
Meanwhile a chair had been placed for the
Other Professor, between the Empress and
Sylvie. Sylvie found him a rather uninterest-
ing neighbour : in fact, she couldn't afterwards
remember that he had made more than one
remark to her during the whole banquet, and
that was "What a comfort a Dictionary is!"
(She told Bruno, afterwards, that she had been
too much afraid of him to say more than " Yes,
Sir," in reply ; and that had been the end of
their conversation. On which Bruno expressed
a very decided opinion that that wasn't worth
calling a ' conversation ' at all. " Oo should
xxn] THE BANQUET. 355
have asked him a riddle ! " he added trium-
phantly. " Why, / asked the Professor three
riddles ! One was that one you asked me in
the morning, ' How many pennies is there in
two shillings ? ' And another was '' Oh,
Bruno ! " Sylvie interrupted. " That wasn't a
riddle!" " It were!'" Bruno fiercely replied.)
By this time a waiter had supplied Bruno
with a plateful of something, which drove the
plum-pudding out of his head.
"Another advantage of dinner-parties," the
Professor cheerfully explained, for the benefit
of any one that would listen, " is that it helps
you to see your friends. If you want to see a
man, offer him something to eat. It's the same
rule with a mouse."
" This Cat's very kind to the Mouses," Bruno
said, stooping to stroke a remarkably fat speci-
men of the race, that had just waddled into the
room, and was rubbing itself affectionately
against the leg of his chair. " Please, Sylvie,
pour some milk in your saucer. Pussie's ever
so thirsty ! "
" Why do you want my saucer ? " said Sylvie
" You've got one yourself! "
A A 2
356 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"Yes, I know," said Bruno: "but I wanted
mine for to give it some more milk in."
Sylvie looked unconvinced : however it
seemed quite impossible for her ever to refuse
what her brother asked : so she quietly filled
her saucer with milk, and handed it to Bruno,
who got down off his chair to administer it to
the cat.
" The room's very hot, with all this crowd,"
the Professor said to Sylvie. " I wonder why
they don't put some lumps of ice in the grate ?
You fill it with lumps of coal in the winter, you
know, and you sit round it and enjoy the
warmth. How jolly it would be to fill it now
with lumps of ice, and sit round it and enjoy
the coolth ! "
Hot as it was, Sylvie shivered a little at the
idea. " It's very cold oiitside" she said. " My
feet got almost frozen to-day."
" That's the shoemaker s fault ! " the Pro-
fessor cheerfully replied. " How often I've
explained to him that he ought to make boots
with little iron frames under the soles, to hold
lamps ! But he never thinks. No one would
suffer from cold, if only they would think of
XXH] THE BANQUET. 357
those little things. I always use hot ink, my-
self, in the winter. Very few people ever think
of that I Yet how simple it is ! "
"Yes, it's very simple," Sylvie said politely.
"Has the cat had enough?" This was to
Bruno, who had brought back the saucer only
half-emptied.
But Bruno did not hear the question.
" There's somebody scratching at the door
and wanting to come in," he said. And he
scrambled down off his chair, and went and
cautiously peeped out through the door-way.
" Who was it wanted to come in ? " Sylvie
asked, as he returned to his place.
"It were a Mouse," said Bruno. "And it
peepted in. And it saw the Cat. And it said
' I'll come in another day.' And I said ' Oo
needn't be flightened. The Cat's welly kind
to Mouses.' And it said ' But I's got some
imporkant business, what I must attend to. 1
And it said ' I'll call again to-morrow.' And it
said ' Give my love to the Cat.' "
" What a fat cat it is ! " said the Lord Chan-
cellor, leaning across the Professor to address
his small neighbour. " It's quite a wonder ! "
358 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" It was awfully fat when it earned in," said
Bruno: "so it would be more wonderfuller if
it got thin all in a minute."
"And that was the reason, I suppose," the
Lord Chancellor suggested, "why you didn't
give it the rest of the milk ? "
" No," said Bruno. " It were a betterer
reason. I tooked the saucer up 'cause it were
so discontented ! "
"It doesn't look so to me" said the Lord
Chancellor. "What made you think it was
discontented ? "
"'cause it grumbled in its throat."
"Oh, Bruno!" cried Sylvie. "Why, that's
the way cats show they ' re pleased!"
Bruno looked doubtful. " It's not a good
way," he objected. " Oo wouldn't say / were
pleased, if I made that noise in my throat ! "
" What a singular boy ! " the Lord Chan-
cellor whispered to himself: but Bruno had
caught the words.
" What do it mean to say ' a singular boy ' ? "
he whispered to Sylvie.
" It means one boy," Sylvie whispered in
return. " And /;-#/ means two or three."
xxn] THE BANQUET. 359
"Then I's welly glad I is a singular boy ! ''
Bruno said with great emphasis. "It would be
horrid to be two or three boys ! P'raps they
wouldn't play with me ! "
"Why should they?" said the Other Pro-
fessor, suddenly waking up out of a deep
reverie. "They might be asleep, you know."
"Couldn't, if / was awake," Bruno said
cunningly.
"Oh, but they might indeed!" the Other
Professor protested. " Boys don't all go to
sleep at once, you know. So these boys
but who are you talking about ? "
"He never remembers to ask that first ! " the
Professor whispered to the children.
"Why, the rest of me, a-course!" Bruno
exclaimed triumphantly. " Supposing I was
two or three boys ! "
The Other Professor sighed, and seemed to
be sinking back into his reverie ; but suddenly
brightened up again, and addressed the Pro-
fessor. " There's nothing more to be done
now, is there ? "
"Well, there's the dinner to finish," the Pro-
fessor said with a bewildered smile : " and the
360 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
heat to bear. I hope you'll enjoy the dinner
such as it is ; and that you won't mind the
heat such as it isn't."
The sentence sounded well, but somehow I
couldn't quite understand it ; and the Other
Professor seemed to be no better off. " Such
as it isn't what?" he peevishly enquired.
" It isn't as hot as it might be," the Pro-
fessor replied, catching at the first idea that
came to hand.
"Ah, I see what you mean now I' 1 ' the Other
Professor graciously remarked. " It's very
badly expressed, but I quite see it now ! Thir-
teen minutes and a half ago," he went on,
looking first at Bruno and then at his watch
as he spoke, "you said 'this Cat's very kind to
the Mouses.' It must be a singular animal !"
" So it are," said Bruno, after carefully ex-
amining the Cat, to make sure how many there
were of it.
" But how do you know it's kind to the
Mouses or, more correctly speaking, the
Mice ?"
" 'cause it plays with the Mouses," said Bruno ;
" for to amuse them, oo know."
xxii] THE BANQUET. 361
" But that is just what I dorit know," the
Other Professor rejoined. " My belief is, it
plays with them to kill them ! "
" Oh, that's quite a accident I " Bruno began,
so eagerly, that it was evident he had already
propounded this very difficulty to the Cat.
"It 'splained all that to me, while it were
drinking the milk. It said ' I teaches the
Mouses new games : the Mouses likes it ever
so much.' It said 'Sometimes little accidents
happens : sometimes the Mouses kills their-
selves.' It said ' I's always welly sorry, when
the Mouses kills theirselves.' It said
" If it was so very sorry," Sylvie said, rather
disdainfully, "it wouldn't eat the Mouses after
they'd killed themselves ! "
But this difficulty, also, had evidently not
been lost sight of in the exhaustive ethical dis-
cussion just concluded. " It said (the
orator constantly omitted, as superfluous, his
own share in the dialogue, and merely gave us
the replies of the Cat) " It said ' Dead Mouses
never objecks to be eaten.' It said 'There's no
use wasting good Mouses.' It said ' Wifful
sumfinoruvver. It said 'And oo may live to
362 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
say ' How much I wiss I had the Mouse that
then I frew away !' It said ."
"It hadn't time to say such a lot of things ! "
Sylvie interrupted indignantly.
" Oo doosn't know how Cats speaks ! " Bruno
rejoined contemptuously. " Cats speaks welly
quick ! "
CHAPTER XXIII.
THE PIG-TALE.
BY this time the appetites of the guests
seemed to be nearly satisfied, and even Bruno
had the resolution to say, when the Professor
offered him a fourth slice of plum- pudding,
" I thinks three helpings is enough ! "
Suddenly the Professor started as if he had
been electrified. " Why, I had nearly for-
gotten the most important part of the enter-
tainment ! The Other Professor is to recite a
Tale of a Pig 1 mean a Pig-Tale," he cor-
rected himself. "It has Introductory Verses
at the beginning, and at the end."
364 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
"It ca'n't have Introductory Verses at the
end, can it ? " said Sylvie.
" Wait till you hear it," said the Professor :
" then you'll see. I'm not sure it hasn't some
in the middle, as well." Here he rose to his
feet, and there was an instant silence through
the Banqueting-Hall: they evidently expected
a speech.
" Ladies, and gentlemen," the Professor
began, " the Other Professor is so kind as to
recite a Poem. The title of it is ' The Pig-
Tale.' He never recited it before ! " (General
cheering among the guests.) " He will never
recite it again ! " (Frantic excitement, and wild
cheering all down the hall, the Professor himself
mounting the table in hot haste, to lead the
cheering, and waving his spectacles in one hand
and a spoon in the other.)
Then the Other Professor got up, and
began :
Little Birds are dining
Warily and well,
Hid in mossy cell:
Hid, 1 say, by waiters
Gorgeous in their gaiters
I've a Tale to tell.
XXIll]
THE PIG-TALE
365
Little Birds are feeding
Justices with jam,
Rich in frizzled ham :
Rich, I say, in oysters
Haunting shady cloisters
That is what I am.
Little Birds are teaching
Tigresses to smile,
Innocent of guile :
Smile, I say, not smirkle
Month a semicircle,
That's the proper style !
Little Birds are sleeping
All among the pins,
Where the loser wins:
Where, I say, he sneezes
When and how he pleases
So the Tale begins.
jT-~lH_> ^^
fflk
gMpfrt
366 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
There was a Pig that sat alone
Beside a ruined Pump :
By day and night he made his moan
It would have stirred a heart of stone
To see him wring his hoofs and groan,
Because he could not jump.
A certain Camel heard him shout
A Camel with a hump.
" Oh, is it Grief, or is it Gout ?
What is this bellowing about ? "
That Pig replied, with quivering snout,
"Because I cannot jump f"
That Camel scanned Jiirn, dreamy-eyed.
" Met/links you are too plump.
I never knew a Pig so wide
That wobbled so from side to side
Who could, however much he tried,
Do such a thing as jump !
" Yet mark those trees, two miles away,
All clustered in a clump:
If you could trot there twice a day,
Nor ever pause for rest or play,
In the far future Who can say ?-
You may be fit to jump!'
xxin]
THE PIG-TALE.
367
That Camel passed, and left him there
Beside the ruined Pump.
Oh, horrid was that Pig's despair !
His shrieks of anguish filled the air.
He wrung his hoofs, he rent his hair,
Because he could not jump.
There was a Frog that wandered by
A sleek and shining lump:
Inspected him with fishy eye,
368 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
And said " O Pig, what makes you cry ?"
And bitter was that Pig's reply,
" Because I cannot jump ! "
That Frog he grinned a grin of glee,
And hit his chest a tJiump.
" O Pig" lie said, " be ruled by me,
A nd you shall see what you shall see.
This minute, for a trifling fee,
Til teach you how to jump !
" You may be faint from many a fall,
And bruised by many a bump:
But, if you persevere through all,
And practise first on something small,
Concluding with a ten-foot wall,
You'll find that you can jump ! "
That Pig looked up with joyful start :
" Oh Frog, you are a trump !
Your words have healed my inward smart-
Come, name your fee and do your part :
Bring comfort to a broken heart,
By teaching me to jump ! "
" My fee shall be a mutton-chop,
My goal this ruined Pump.
Observe with what an airy flop
XXIIl]
THE PIG-TALE.
369
/ plant myself upon the top !
Nozv bend your knees and take a hop,
For that's the way to jump ! "
Uprose that Pig, and rushed, full whack.
Against the ruined Pump :
Rolled over like an empty sack,
And settled down upon his back,
While all his bones at once went ' Crack ! '
It was a fatal jump.
B B
370 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
When the Other Professor had recited this
Verse, he went across to the fire-place, and
put his head up the chimney. In doing this,
he lost his balance, and fell head-first into the
empty grate, and got so firmly fixed there
that it was some time before he could be
dragged out again.
Bruno had had time to say " I thought he
wanted to see how many peoples was up
the chimbley."
And Sylvie had said " Chimney not
chimbley."
And Bruno had said " Don't talk 'ubbish ! "
All this, while the Other Professor was being
extracted.
" You must have blacked your face ! " the
Empress said anxiously. " Let me send for
some soap ? "
" Thanks, no," said the Other Professor,
keeping his face turned away. " Black's quite
a respectable colour. Besides, soap would be
no use without water."
Keeping his back well turned away from
the audience, he went on with the Intro-
ductory Verses ;
xxm]
THE PIG-TALE.
371
Little Birds are writing
Interesting books,
To be read by cooks :
Read, I say, not roasted
Letterpress, when toasted,
Loses its good looks.
Little Birds are playing
Bagpipes on the shore,
Where the tourists snore .
' Thanks ! " they cry. " ' Tis
thrilling !
Take, oh take this shilling!
Let us have no more ! "
Little Birds are bathing
Crocodiles in cream,
Like a happy dream :
Like, but not so lasting
Crocodiles, when fasting,
A re not all they seem !
372 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
That Camel passed, as Day grew dim
Around the ruined Pump.
" O broken heart ! O broken limb !
ft needs" that Camel said to him,
" Something more fairy-like and slim,
To execute a jump ! "
That Pig lay still as any stone,
A nd could not stir a stump :
Nor ever, if the trutJi were known,
xxiii] THE PIG-TALE.
Was lie again observed to moan,
Nor ever wring liis hoofs and groan,
Because he could not jump.
Tliat Frog made no remark, for he
Was dismal as a dump :
He knew the consequence must be
That lie would never get his fee
And still he sits, in miserie,
Upon that ruined Pump !
373
"It's a miserable story!" said Bruno. "It
begins miserably, and it ends miserablier. I
think I shall cry. Sylvie, please lend me your
handkerchief."
374 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" I haven't got it with me," Sylvie whispered.
" Then I won't cry," said Bruno manfully.
"There are more Introductory Verses to
come," said the Other Professor, "but I'm
hungry." He sat down, cut a large slice
of cake, put it on Bruno's plate, and gazed
at his own empty plate in astonishment.
"Where did you get that cake?" Sylvie
whispered to Bruno.
" He gived it me," said Bruno.
" But you shouldn't ask for things ! You
know you shouldn't ! "
" I didrit ask," said Bruno, taking a fresh
mouthful : " he gived it me."
Sylvie considered this for a moment : then
she saw her way out of it. " Well, then, ask
him to give me some ! "
" You seem to enjoy that cake ? " the Pro-
fessor remarked.
" Doos that mean ' munch ' ? " Bruno whis-
pered to Sylvie.
Sylvie nodded. " It means 'to munch' and
' to like to munch.' '
Bruno smiled at the Professor. " I doos
enjoy it," he said.
xxni] THE PIG-TALE. 375
The Other Professor caught the word. " And
I hope you're enjoying yourself, little Man ? ""
he enquired.
Bruno's look of horror quite startled him.
" No, indeed I aren't!" he said.
The Other Professor looked thoroughly
puzzled. " Well, well ! " he said. " Try some
cowslip wine ! " And he filled a glass and
handed it to Bruno. " Drink this, my dear,,
and you'll be quite another man ! "
" Who shall I be ? " said Bruno, pausing in
the act of putting it to his lips.
" Don't ask so many questions ! " Sylvie
interposed, anxious to save the poor old man
from further bewilderment. " Suppose we get
the Professor to tell us a story."
Bruno adopted the idea with enthusiasm.
" Please do ! " he cried eagerly. " Sumfin
about tigers and bumble-bees and robin-
redbreasts, oo knows ! "
" Why should you always have live things
in stories ?" said the Professor. "Why don't
you have events, or circumstances ? "
"Q\\ t please invent a story like that! "cried
Bruno.
376 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
The Professor began fluently enough. " Once
a coincidence was taking a walk with a little
accident, and they met an explanation a very
old explanation so old that it was quite
doubled up, and looked more like a conun-
drum " he broke off suddenly.
" Please go on ! " both children exclaimed.
The Professor made a candid confession.
" It's a very difficult sort to invent, I find.
Suppose Bruno tells one, first."
Bruno was only too happy to adopt the
suggestion.
" Once there were a Pig, and a Accordion,
and two Jars of Orange-marmalade
" The dramatis persons" murmured the
Professor. " Well, what then ? "
" So, when the Pig played on the Accordion,"
Bruno went on, " one of the Jars of Orange-
marmalade didn't like the tune, and the other
Jar of Orange-marmalade did like the tune
I know I shall get confused among those Jars
of Orange-marmalade, Sylvie ! " he whispered
anxiously.
" I will now recite the other Introductory
Verses," said the Other Professor.
XXIll]
THE PIG-TALE.
377
Little Birds are choking
Baronets with him,
Taught to fire a gun :
TaugJit, I say, to splinter
Salmon in the zvinter
Merely for the fun.
Little Birds are hiding
Crimes in carpet-bags,
Blessed by happy stags:
Blessed, I say, though beaten
Since our friends are eaten
When the memory flags.
Little Birds are tasting
Gratitude and gold,
Pale with sudden cold:
Pale, I say, and wrinkled
When the bells have tinkled,
And the Tale is told.
SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
That Camel passed, as Day grew dim
Around the ruined Pump.
" O broken heart ! O broken limb !
It needs" that Camel said to him,
" Something more fairy-like and slim,
To execute a jump ! "
That Pig lay still as any stone,
A nd could not stir a stump :
Nor ever, if the truth were known,
XXIII]
THE PIG-TALE.
373
Was lie again observed to moan,
Nor ever wring his hoofs and groan,
Because he could not jump.
That Frog made no remark, for he
Was dismal as a dump :
He knew the consequence must be
That he would never get his fee
And still he sits, in miser ie,
Upon that ruined Pump !
"It's a miserable story!" said Bruno. " It
begins miserably, and it ends miserablier. I
think I shall cry. Sylvie, please lend me your
handkerchief."
380 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
The Lord Chancellor wrung his hands in
despair. " He is mad, good people! " he was
beginning. But both speeches stopped sud-
denly and, in the dead silence that followed,
a knocking was heard at the outer door.
" What is it ? " was the general cry. People
began running in and out. The excitement
increased every moment. The Lord Chancellor,
forgetting all the rules of Court-ceremony, ran
full speed down the hall, and in a minute
returned, pale and gasping for breath.
CHAPTER XXIV.
THE BEGGAR'S RETURN.
" YOUR Imperial Highnesses ! " he began.
" It's the old Beggar again! Shall we set the
dogs at him ? "
" Bring him here ! " said the Emperor
The Chancellor could scarcely believe his
ears. " Here, your Imperial Highness ? Did
I rightly understand .'
" Bring him here ! " the Emperor thundered
once more, The Chancellor tottered down
the hall and in another minute the crowd
divided, and the poor old Beggar was seen
entering the Banqueting- Hall.
382 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
He was indeed a pitiable object : the rags,
that hung about him, were all splashed with
mud : his white hair and his long beard were
tossed about in wild disorder. Yet he walked
upright, with a stately tread, as if used to com-
mand : and strangest sight of all Sylvie
and Bruno came with him, clinging to his hands,
and gazing at him with looks of silent love.
xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 383
Men looked eagerly to see how the Em-
peror would receive the bold intruder. Would
he hurl him from the steps of the dais ? But
no. To their utter astonishment, the Emper-
or knelt as the beggar approached, and with
bowed head murmured " Forgive us ! "
" Forgive us ! " the Empress, kneeling at her
husband's side, meekly repeated.
The Outcast smiled. " Rise up ! " he said.
" I forgive you ! " And men saw with wonder
that a change had passed over the old beggar,
even as he spoke. What had seemed, but now,
to be vile rags and splashes of mud, were seen
to be in truth kingly trappings, broidered with
gold, and sparkling with gems. All knew him
now, and bent low before the Elder Brother, the
true Warden.
" Brother mine, and Sister mine ! " the War-
den began, in a clear voice that was heard all
through that vast hall. " I come not to disturb
you. Rule on, as Emperor, and rule wisely.
For I am chosen King of Elfland. To-morrow
I return there, taking nought from hence, save
only save only " his voice trembled, and
with a look of ineffable tenderness, he laid
384 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED,
his hands in silence on the heads of the two
little ones who clung around him.
But he recovered himself in a moment, and
beckoned to the Emperor to resume his place
at the table. The company seated themselves
again room being found for the Elfin- King
between his two children and the Lord
Chancellor rose once more, to propose the
next toast.
" The next toast the hero of the day-
why, he isn't here ! " he broke off in wild
confusion.
Good gracious ! Everybody had forgotten
Prince Uggug !
" He was told of the Banquet, of course ? "
said the Emperor.
" Undoubtedly ! " replied the Chancellor.
" That would be the duty of the Gold Stick
in Waiting."
" Let the Gold Stick come forwards ! " the
Emperor gravely said.
The Gold Stick came forwards. " I attended
on His Imperial Fatness," was the statement
made by the trembling official. " I told him
of the Lecture and the Banquet ."
xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 385
"What followed?" said the Emperor: for
the unhappy man seemed almost too frightened
to go on.
" His Imperial Fatness was graciously pleased
to be sulky. His Imperial Fatness was gra-
ciously pleased to box my ears. His Imperial
Fatness was graciously pleased to say ' I don't
care ! ' "
" ' Don't-care ' came to a bad end," Sylvie
whispered to Bruno. " I'm not sure, but I
believe he was hanged."
The Professor overheard her. " That result,"
he blandly remarked, " was merely a case of
mistaken identity."
Both children looked puzzled.
" Permit me to explain. ' Don't-care ' and
' Care' were twin-brothers. ' Care,' you know,
killed the Cat. And they caught ' Don't-care '
by mistake, and hanged him instead. And so
' Care ' is alive still. But he's very unhappy
without his brother. That's why they say
' Begone, dull Care ! ' "
" Thank you ! " Sylvie said, heartily. " It's
very extremely interesting. Why, it seems to
explain everything!"
c c
386 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Well, not quite everything, " the Professor
modestly rejoined. " There are two or three
scientific difficulties
" What was your general impression as to
His Imperial Fatness ? " the Emperor asked
the Gold Stick.
" My impression was that His Imperial Fat-
ness was getting more
" More what ? "
All listened breathlessly for the next word.
" More PRICKLY !"
"He must be sent for at once!" the Em-
peror exclaimed. And the Gold Stick went off
like a shot. The Elfin-King sadly shook his
head. " No use, no use ! " he murmured to
himself. " Loveless, loveless !"
Pale, trembling, speechless, the Gold Stick
came slowly back again.
"Well?" said the Emperor. "Why does
not the Prince appear ? "
" One can easily guess, said the Professor.
" His Imperial Fatness is, without doubt, a
little preoccupied."
Bruno turned a look of solemn enquiry on
his old friend. " What do that word mean ?"
xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 387
But the Professor took no notice of the ques-
tion. He was eagerly listening to the Gold
Stick's reply.
" Please your Highness ! His Imperial Fat-
ness is Not a word more could he utter.
The Empress rose in an agony of alarm.
" Let us go to him ! " she cried. And there
was a general rush for the door.
Bruno slipped off his chair in a moment.
"May we go too?" he eagerly asked. But
the King did not hear the question, as the
Professor was speaking to him. " Preoccupied,
your Majesty ! " he was saying. " That is
what he is, no doubt ! "
" May we go and see him ? " Bruno repeated.
The King nodded assent, and the children ran
off. In a minute or two they returned, slowly
and gravely. " Well ? " said the King. " What's
the matter with the Prince ? "
" He's - - what you said,'" Bruno replied
looking at the Professor. " That hard word."
And he looked to Sylvie for assistance.
" Porcupine," said Sylvie.
" No, no ! " the Professor corrected her.
" ' Pre-occupied' you mean."
C C 2
SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 389
" No, it's porcupine" persisted Sylvie. " Not
that other word at all. And please will you
come ? The house is all in an uproar." ("And
oo'd better bring an uproar-glass wiz oo ! "
added Bruno.)
We got up in great haste, and followed the
children upstairs. No one took the least notice
of me, but I wasn't at all surprised at this, as I
had long realised that I was quite invisible to
them all even to Sylvie and Bruno.
All along the gallery, that led to the Prince's
apartment, an excited crowd was surging to and
fro, and the Babel of voices was deafening :
against the door of the room three strong men
were leaning, vainly trying to shut it for some
great animal inside was constantly bursting it
half open, and we had a glimpse, before the men
could push it back again, of the head of a furious
wild beast, with great fiery eyes and gnashing
teeth. Its voice was a sort of mixture there
was the roaring of a lion, and the bellowing of a
bull, and now and then a scream like a gigantic
parrot. " There is no judging by the voice ! "
the Professor cried in great excitement. " What
is it ? " he shouted to the men at the door.
390 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
And a general chorus of voices answered him
" Porcupine ! Prince Uggug has turned into
a Porcupine ! "
" A new Specimen ! " exclaimed the delighted
Professor. " Pray let me go in. It should be
labeled at once ! "
But the strong men only pushed him back.
"Label it, indeed! Do you want to be eaten
up ? " they cried.
" Never mind about Specimens, Professor ! "
said the Emperor, pushing his way through the
crowd. " Tell us how to keep him safe ! "
" A large cage ! " the Professor promptly re-
plied. " Bring a large cage," he said to the
people generally, " with strong bars of steel,
and a portcullis made to go up and down like
a mouse-trap ! Does any one happen to have
such a thing about him ? "
It didn't sound a likely sort of thing for any
one to have about him ; however, they brought
him one directly : curiously enough, there hap-
pened to be one standing in the gallery.
" Put it facing the opening of the door, and
draw up the portcullis ! " This was done in a
moment.
xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 391
" Blankets now ! " cried the Professor. " This
is a most interesting Experiment ! "
There happened to be a pile of blankets
close by: and the Professor had hardly said the
word, when they were all unfolded and held up
like curtains all around. The Professor rapidly
arranged them in two rows, so as to make a
dark passage, leading straight from the door to
the mouth of the cage.
" Now fling the door open! " This did not
need to be done : the three men had only to
leap out of the way, and the fearful monster
flung the door open for itself, and, with a yell
like the whistle of a steam-engine, rushed into
the cage.
" Down with the portcullis ! " No sooner
said than done : and all breathed freely once
more, on seeing the Porcupine safely caged.
The Professor rubbed his hands in childish
delight. " The Experiment has succeeded ! " he
proclaimed. " All that is needed now is to
feed it three times a day, on chopped carrots
and ."
" Never mind about its food, just now ! "
the Emperor interrupted. " Let us return to
392 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
the Banquet. Brother, will you lead the way ? "
And the old man, attended by his children,
headed the procession down stairs. "Seethe
fate of a loveless life ! " he said to Bruno, as
they returned to their places. To which
Bruno made reply, " I always loved Sylvie,
so I'll never get prickly like that ! "
" He is prickly, certainly," said the Professor,
who had caught the last words, "but we must
remember that, however porcupiny, he is royal
still ! After this feast is over, I'm going to
take a little present to Prince Uggug just
to soothe him, you know : it isn't pleasant
living in a cage."
"What'll you give him for a birthday-pre-
sent ? " Bruno enquired.
" A small saucer of chopped carrots," replied
the Professor. "In giving birthday-presents,
my motto is cheapness ! I should think I
save forty pounds a year by giving oh, what
a twinge of pain ! "
" What is it ? " said Sylvie anxiously.
"My old enemy!" groaned the Professor.
" Lumbago rheumatism that sort of thing.
I think I'll go and lie down a bit." And he
xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 393
hobbled out of the Saloon, watched by the
pitying eyes of the two children.
" He'll be better soon ! " the Elfin- King said
cheerily. " Brother ! " turning to the Emperor,
" I have some business to arrange with you
to-night. The Empress will take care of the
children." And the two Brothers went away
together, arm-in-arm.
The Empress found the children rather sad
company. They could talk of nothing but
" the dear Professor," and " what a pity he's
so ill ! ", till at last she made the welcome
proposal " Let's go and see him ! "
The children eagerly grasped the hands she
offered them : and we went off to the Profes-
sor's study, and found him lying on the sofa,
covered up with blankets, and reading a little
manuscript-book. " Notes on Vol. Three ! " he
murmured, looking up at us. And there, on a
table near him, lay the book he was seeking
when first I saw him.
" And how are you now, Professor ? " the
Empress asked, bending over the invalid.
The Professor looked up, and smiled feebly.
"As devoted to your Imperial Highness as
394 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED
ever!" he said in a weak voice. "All of me,
that is not Lumbago, is Loyalty ! "
" A sweet sentiment ! " the Empress ex-
claimed with tears in her eyes. "You seldom
hear anything so beautiful as that even in
a Valentine ! "
" We must take you to stay at the seaside,"
Sylvie said, tenderly. " It'll do you ever so
much good ! And the Sea's so grand ! "
" But a Mountain's grander ! " said Bruno.
" What is there grand about the Sea ? " said
the Professor. " Why, you could put it all
into a teacup ! "
" Some of it," Sylvie corrected him.
" Well, you'd only want a certain number
of tea-cups to hold it all. And then where's
the grandeur ? Then as to a Mountain why,
you could carry it all away in a wheel-barrow,
in a certain number of years ! "
" It wouldn't look grand the bits of it in
the wheel-barrow," Sylvie candidly admitted.
" But when oo put it together again
Bruno began.
" When you're older," said the Professor,
" you'll know that you cant put Mountains
xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 395
together again so easily ! One lives and one
learns, you know ! "
" But it needn't be the same one, need it ? "
said Bruno. " Wo' n't it do, if / live, and if
Sylvie learns ? "
" I cant learn without living ! " said Sylvie.
"But I can live without learning!" Bruno
retorted. " Oo just try me ! "
" What I meant, was " the Professor began,
looking much puzzled, "was that you don't
know everything, you know."
"But I do know everything I know!" per-
sisted the little fellow. " I know ever so many-
things ! Everything, 'cept the things I don't
know. And Sylvie knows all the rest. "
The Professor sighed, and gave it up. " Do
you know what a Boojum is ? "
"7 know!" cried Bruno. "It's the thing
what wrenches people out of their boots ! "
"He means ' bootjack, ' Sylvie explained
in a whisper.
"You ca'n't wrench people out of boots" the
Professor mildly observed.
Bruno laughed saucily. " Oo can, though !
Unless they're welly tight in."
396 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Once upon a time there was a Boojum-
the Professor began, but stopped suddenly.
" I forget the rest of the Fable," he said.
" And there was a lesson to be learned from
it. I'm afraid I forget that, too."
" /'// tell oo a Fable ! " Bruno began in
a great hurry. "Once there were a Locust,
and a Magpie, and a Engine-driver. And the
Lesson is, to learn to get up early
" It isn't a bit interesting!" Sylvie said con-
temptuously. " You shouldn't put the Lesson
so soon."
" When did you invent that Fable ? " said
the Professor. " Last week ? "
"No!" said Bruno. "A deal shorter ago
than that. Guess again ! "
" I ca'n't guess," said the Professor. " How
long ago ? "
" Why, it isn't invented yet ! " Bruno ex-
claimed triumphantly. " But I have invented
a lovely one ! Shall I say it ? "
" If you've finished inventing it," said Syl-
vie. " And let the Lesson be ' to try again ' ! "
" No," said Bruno with great decision. " The
Lesson are ' not to try again ' ! " " Once there
xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 397
were a lovely china man, what stood on the
chimbley-piece. And he stood, and he stood.
And one day he tumbleded off, and he didn't
hurt his self one bit. Only he would try again.
And the next time he tumbleded off, he hurted
his self welly much, and breaked off ever so
much varnish."
" But how did he come back on the chim-
ney-piece after his first tumble ? " said the
Empress. (It was the first sensible question
she had asked in all her life.
"/put him there ! " cried Bruno.
" Then I'm afraid you know something about
his tumbling," said the Professor. " Perhaps
you pushed him ? "
To which Bruno replied, very seriously,
" Didn't pushed him muck he were a lovely
china man," he added hastily, evidently very
anxious to change the subject.
" Come, my children ! " said the Elfin- King,
who had just entered the room. " We must
have a little chat together, before you go to
bed." And he was leading them away, but
at the door they let go his hands, and ran back
again to wish the Professor good night.
398 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Good night, Professor, good night ! " And
Bruno solemnly shook hands with the old
man, who gazed at him with a loving smile,
while Sylvie bent down to press her sweet lips
upon his forehead.
" Good night, little ones ! " said the Professor.
" You may leave me now to ruminate. I'm
as jolly as the day is long, except when it's
necessary to ruminate on some very difficult
subject. All of me," he murmured sleepily
xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 399
as we left the room, " all of me, that isn't
Bonhommie, is Rumination ! "
" What did he say, Bruno ? " Sylvie enquired,
as soon as we were safely out of hearing.
" I think he said ' All of me that isn't Bone-
disease is Rheumatism.' Whatever are that
knocking, Sylvie ? "
Sylvie stopped, and listened anxiously. It
sounded like some one kicking at a door. " I
hope it isn't that Porcupine breaking loose ! "
she exclaimed.
" Let's go on ! " Bruno said hastily. " There's
nuffin to wait for, oo know ! '
CHAPTER XXV.
LIFE OUT OF DEATH.
THE sound of kicking, or knocking, grew
louder every moment : and at last a door opened
somewhere near us. " Did you say ' come in ! '
Sir ? " my landlady asked timidly.
" Oh yes, come in ! " I replied. " What's
the matter ? "
" A note has just been left for you, Sir, by
the baker's boy. He said he was passing the
Hall, and they asked him to come round and
leave it here."
The note contained five words only. " Please
come at once. Muriel."
xxv] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 401
A sudden terror seemed to chill my very
heart. " The Earl is ill ! " I said to myself.
" Dying, perhaps ! " And I hastily prepared
to leave the house.
" No bad news, Sir, I hope ?" my landlady
said, as she saw me out. " The boy said as
some one had arrived unexpectedly ."
11 I hope that is it ! " I said. But my feelings
were those of fear rather than of hope : though,
on entering the house, I was somewhat reassured
by finding luggage lying in the entrance, bear-
ing the initials " E. L."
" It's only Eric Lindon after all ! " I thought,
half relieved and half annoyed. " Surely she
need not have sent for me for that ! "
Lady Muriel met me in the passage. Her
eyes were gleaming but it was the excite-
ment of joy, rather than of grief. " I have
a surprise for you ! " she whispered.
" You mean that Eric Lindon is here ? " I
said, vainly trying to disguise the involuntary
bitterness of my tone. " ' The funeral baked
meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage-
tables^ " I could not help repeating to myself.
How cruelly I was misjudging her !
D D
402 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED'.
"No, no!" she eagerly replied. "At least
Eric is here. But ," her voice quivered,
" but there is another ! "
No need for further question. I eagerly
followed her in. There on the bed, he lay-
pale and worn the mere shadow of his old
self my old friend come back again from
the dead !
"Arthur!" I exclaimed. I could not say
another word.
" Yes, back again, old boy ! " he murmured,
smiling as I grasped his hand. " He" indica-
ting Eric, who stood near, "saved my life
He brought me back. Next to God, we must
thank him, Muriel, my wife ! "
Silently I shook hands with Eric and with
the Earl : and with one consent we moved into
the shaded side of the room, where we could
talk without disturbing the invalid, who lay,
silent and happy, holding his wife's hand in
his, and watching her with eyes that shone
with the deep steady light of Love.
" He has been delirious till to-day," Eric
explained in a low voice : " and even to-day he
has been wandering more than once. But the
xxv] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 403
sight of her has been new life to him." And
then he went on to tell us, in would-be careless
tones 1 knew how he hated any display of
feeling how he had insisted on going back to
the plague-stricken town, to bring away a man
whom the doctor had abandoned as dying, but
who might, he fancied, recover if brought to
the hospital : how he had seen nothing in the
wasted features to remind him of Arthur, and
only recognised him when he visited the
hospital a month after : how the doctor had
forbidden him to announce the discovery, say-
ing that any shock to the over-taxed brain
might kill him at once : how he had staid on at
the hospital, and nursed the sick man by night
and day all this with the studied indifference
of one who is relating the commonplace acts
of some chance acquaintance !
" And this was his rival ! " I thought. " The
man who had won from him the heart of the
woman he loved ! "
" The sun is setting," said Lady Muriel,
rising and leading the way to the open window.
"Just look at the western sky! What lovely
crimson tints ! We shall have a glorious day
D D 2
404 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
xxv] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 405
to-morrow We had followed her across
the room, and were standing in a little group,
talking in low tones in the gathering gloom,
when we were startled by the voice of the sick
man, murmuring words too indistinct for the
ear to catch.
" He is wandering again," Lady Muriel
whispered, and returned to the bedside. We
drew a little nearer also : but no, this had none
of the incoherence of delirium. " What reward
shall I give unto the Lord" the tremulous lips
were saying, "for all the benefits that He hath
done unto me ? I will receive the cup of salva-
tion, and call and call ' but here the
poor weakened memory failed, and the feeble
voice died into silence.
His wife knelt down at the bedside, raised
one of his arms, and drew it across her own,
fondly kissing the. thin white hand that lay
so listlessly in her loving grasp. It seemed
to me a good opportunity for stealing away
without making her go through any form of
parting : so, nodding to the Earl and Eric, I
silently left the room. Eric followed me down
the stairs, and out into the night.
406 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Is it Life or Death ? " I asked him, as
soon as we were far enough from the house
for me to speak in ordinary tones.
" It is Life ! " he replied with eager emphasis.
" The doctors are quite agreed as to that. All
he needs now, they say, is rest, and perfect
quiet, and good nursing. He's quite sure to
get rest and quiet, here : and, as for the nursing
why, I think it's \\&\. possible " (he tried hard
to make his trembling voice assume a playful
tone) " he may even get fairly well nursed, in
his present quarters ! "
"I'm sure of it!" I said. "Thank you so
much for coming out to tell me ! " And, think-
ing he had now said all he had come to say, I
held out my hand to bid him good night. He
grasped it warmly, and added, turning his face
away as he spoke, " By the way, there is one
other thing I wanted to say. I thought you'd
like to know that that I'm not not in the
mind I was in when last we met. It isn't
that I can accept Christian belief at least,
not yet. But all this came about so strangely.
And she had prayed, you know. And I had
prayed. And and " his voice broke, and
XXV] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 407
I could only just catch the concluding words,
' ' there is a God that answers prayer ! I know
it for certain now." He wrung my hand once
more, and left me suddenly. Never before had
I seen him so deeply moved.
So, in the gathering twilight, I paced slowly
homewards, in a tumultuous whirl of happy
thoughts : my heart seemed full, and running
over, with joy and thankfulness : all that I had
so fervently longed for, and prayed for, seemed
now to have come to pass. And, though I re-
proached myself, bitterly, for the unworthy sus-
picion I had for one moment harboured against
the true-hearted Lady Muriel, I took comfort
in knowing it had been but a passing thought.
Not Bruno himself could have mounted the
stairs with so buoyant a step, as I felt my way
up in the dark, not pausing to strike a light
in the entry, as I knew I had left the lamp
burning in my sitting-room.
But it was no common lamplight into which
I now stepped, with a strange, new, dreamy
sensation of some subtle witchery that had come
over the place. Light, richer and more golden
than any lamp could give, flooded the room,
408 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
streaming in from a window I had somehow
never noticed before, and lighting up a group of
three shadowy figures, that grew momently
more distinct a grave old man in royal robes,
leaning back in an easy chair, and two children,
a girl and a boy, standing at his side.
" Have you the Jewel still, my child ? " the
old man was saying.
" Oh, yes ! " Sylvie exclaimed with unusual
eagerness. " Do you think I'd ever lose it or
forget it ? " She undid the ribbon round her
neck, as she spoke, and laid the Jewel in her
father's hand.
Bruno looked at it admiringly. " What a
lovely brightness ! " he said. " It's just like a
little red star ! May I take it in my hand ? "
Sylvie nodded : and Bruno carried it off to
the window, and held it aloft against the sky,
whose deepening blue was already spangled
with stars. Soon he came running back in
some excitement. "Sylvie! Look here!" he
cried. " I can see right through it when I hold
it up to the sky. And it isn't red a bit : it's, oh
such a lovely blue ! And the words are all
different ! Do look at it ! "
xxv] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 409
Sylvie was quite excited, too, by this time ;
and the two children eagerly held up the Jewel
to the light, and spelled out the legend between
them, " ALL WILL LOVE SYLVIE."
" Why, this is the other Jewel ! " cried
Bruno. " Don't you remember, Sylvie ? The
one you didrit choose ! "
Sylvie took it from him, with a puzzled look,
and held it, now up to the light, now down.
"It's blue, one way," she said softly to herself,
" and it's red, the other way ! Why, I thought
there were two of them -Father ! " she sud-
denly exclaimed, laying the Jewel once more in
his hand, " I do believe it was the same Jewel
all the time ! "
4 io SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
" Then you choosed it from itself" Bruno
thoughtfully remarked. " Father, could Sylvie
choose a thing from itself ? "
" Yes, my own one," the old man replied
to Sylvie, not noticing Bruno's embarrassing
question, "it was the same Jewel but you
chose quite right." And he fastened the ribbon
round her neck again.
'*' SYLVIE WILL LOVE ALL ALL WILL LOVE
SYLVIE," Bruno murmured, raising himself on
tiptoe to kiss the 'little red star.' " And, when
you look at it, it's red and fierce like the sun
and, when you look through it, it's gentle
and blue like the sky ! "
" God's own sky," Sylvie said, dreamily.
"God's own sky," the little fellow repeated,
as they stood, lovingly clinging together, and
looking out into the night. " But oh, Sylvie,
what makes the sky such a darling blue ? "
Sylvie's sweet lips shaped themselves to
reply, but her voice sounded faint and very
far away. The vision was fast slipping from
my eager gaze : but it seemed to me, in that
last bewildering moment, that not Sylvie but
an angel was looking out through those trustful
xxv]
LIFE OUT OF DEATH.
brown eyes, and that not Sylvie's but an angel's
voice was whispering
is
THE END.
GENERAL INDEX.
[N.B. ' I ' refers to " Sylvie and Bruno," ' II' to " Sylvie
and Bruno Concluded."]
Accelerated Velocity, causes of; II. 190
Air, Cotton-wool lighter than, how to obtain ; II. 166
Animal-Suffering, mystery of ; II. 296
Anti-Teetotal Card ; II. 139
Artistic effect said to require Indistinctness ; I. 241
Asylums, Lunatic-, future use for ; II. 132
Axioms of Science ; II. 330
Badgers, the Three (Poem) ; I. 247
Barometer, sideways motion of; I. 13
Baron Doppelgeist ; I. 85
Bath, Portable, for Tourists; I. 25
Bazaars, Charity-; II. 44
Beauty, Pain of realising; II. 337
Bed, reason for never going to ; II. 141
Bees, Mind of; II. 298
Bessie's Song; II. 76
Bible-Selections for Children ; I. xiii
,, learning by heart ; I. xiv
Black Light, how to produce ; II. 341
Boat, motion of, how to imitate on land; II. 108
Books, or Minds. Which contain most Science? I. 21
Boots for Horizontal Weather; I. 14
4H GENERAL INDEX.
Brain, inverted position of; I. 243
Bread-sauce appropriate for Weltering ; I. 58
Breaking promises. Why is it wrong? II. 27
Bruno's Song : I. 215
Burden of Proof misplaced by Crocodiles; I. 230
Ladies; I. 235
Watts, Dr. ; do.
'Care' and ' Don't-Care,' history of; II.
Carrying one's self. Why is it not fatiguing? I. 169
Charity-Bazaars ; II. 44
,, fallacies as to ; II. 43
Pseudo- ; II. 42
Child's Bible ; I. xiii
,, Sunday, in last generation ; I. 387
,, view of Adult Life ; II. 260
Present Life ; I. 330
Choral Services, effect of; I. 273. II. xix
Chorister's life, dangers of; I. 274. II. xix
Church-going, true principle of: I. 272
Competition for Scholars ; II. 187
Competitive Examination ; II. 184
Conceited Critic always depreciates; I. 237
Content, opportunity for cultivating; I. 152
'Convenient' and 'Inconvenient,' difference in meaning;
I. 140
Conversation at Dinner-parties, how to promote : (see
" Dinner-parties ")
Cotton-wool lighter than air, how to obtain ; II. 166
Critic, conceited, always depreciates : I. 237
,, how to gain character of; I. 238
Crocodiles, Logic of; I. 230
Croquet. Why is it demoralising? II. 135
GENERAL INDEX. 415
Darwinism reversed ; I. 64
Day, length and shortness of, compared ; I. 159
true length of; I. 159
Death, certainty of, effect of realising ; I. xix
Debts, how to avoid Payment of; I. 131
Deserts, use for; II. 158
Dichotomy, Political, in common life; II. 198, 205, 207
Dinner-parties, how to promote Conversation at :
Moving-Guests; II. 145
Pictures ; II. 143
Revolving-Humorist; II. 145
Wild-Creatures ; II. 144
Dog-King, the, ('Nero'); I- i?5- II. 58
Dog, Man's advantage over ; II. 293
reasoning power of; II. 294
' Doing good,' ambiguity of phrase ; II. 43
Doppelgeist, Baron ; I. 85
Dramatization of Life ; I. 333
Dreaminess, certain cure for; I. 136
Drunkenness, how to prevent ; II. 71
Eggs, how to purchase ; II. 196
Electricity, influence of, on Literature ; I. 64
Enjoyment of Life ; I. 335
,, Novel-reading; I. 336
Eternity, contemplation of. Why is it wearisome ? II. 258
Events in reverse order ; I. 350
Examination, Competitive ; II. 184
Experimental Honeymoons ; II. 136
Eye, images inverted in the ; I. 242
Fairies, captured, how to treat ; II. 5
character of, how to improve ; I. 190
416 GENERAL INDEX.
Fairies, existence of, possible ; II. 300
,, presence of, how to recognise ; I. 191. II. 264
,, moral responsibility of; II. 301
Falling Houses, Life in; I. 100
Final Causes, problem in ; I. 297
Fires in Theatres, how to prevent ; II. 165
Fortunatus' Purse, how to make ; II. 100
Free- Will and Nerve-Force; I. 390
Frog, young, how to amuse ; I. 364
Future Life. What interests will survive in it ? II. 256
Gardener's Song :
Albatross; I. 164. Argument; 11.319. Banker's
Clerk; I. 90. Bar of Mottled Soap ; II. 319. Bear
without a head; I. 116. Buffalo; I. 78. Coach-
and-Four ; I. 116. Double Rule of Three; I. 168.
Elephant ; I. 65; II. 334. Garden-Door; I. 168.
Hippopotamus ; I. 90. Kangaroo ; I. 106. Letter
from his Wife; I. 65. Middle of Next Week;
I. 83. Penny-Postage-Stamp; I. 164. Rattlesnake;
I. 83. Sister's Husband's Niece ; I. 78. Vege-
table-Pill ; I. 1 06
Ghosts, treatment of, by Shakespeare ; I. 60
,, in Railway-Literature ; I. 58
Weltering, Bread-sauce appropriate for ; I. 58
Girls' Shakespeare ; I. xv
Government with many Kings and one Subject ; II. 172
Graduated races of Man ; I. 299
Guests, Moving-; II. 145
Happiness, excessive, how to moderate ; I. 159
Heaven inconceivable to those on Earth ; II. 260
Honesty, Dr. Watts' argument for; I. 235
GENERAL INDEX. 4*7
Honeymoons, Experimental ; II. 136
Horizontal Weather, Boots for; I. 14
Horses, Runaway, how to control ; II. IQ&--
Hot Ink, use of; II. 357
Houses, Falling, Life in ; I. 100
Humorist, Revolving ; II. 145
Hunting, Morality of; I. xx, 318; II. xviii
Hymns appealing to Selfishness ; I. 276
'Idle Mouths'; II. 37
' Imponderal ' ; II. 166
' Inconvenient ' and 'Convenient,' difference in meaning of;
I. 140
Indistinctness said to be necessary for Artistic effect ; I. 241
Ink, Hot, use of; II. 357
Instinct and Reason ; II. 295
Inversion of Brain ; I. 243
,, images on Retina ; I. 242
Jam-tasting; II. 150
Jesting in Letter- writing, how to indicate ; II. 117
'King Fisher' Song; II. 14
Knocking-down, some persons not liable to ; II. 54
Ladies, Logic of; I. 235
Least Common Multiple, rule of, applied to Literature ; I. 22
Letter-writing, how to indicate Jesting in ; II. 117
Shyness in; II. 115
Life, adult, Child's view of; II. 260
,, Dramatization of; I. 133
Future, What interests will survive in it ? II. 256
E E
418 GENERAL INDEX.
Life, how to enjoy ; I. 335
in Falling Houses; I. 100
,, reverse order; I. 350
Present, Child's view of; I. 330
Light, Black, how to produce ; II. 341
Literature as influenced by Electricity ; I. 64
,, Steam ; I. 64
for Railway ; I. 58
,, treated by rule of Least Common Multiple ; I. 22
"Little Birds' (Poem); II. 364, 371, 377
'Little Man' (Poem); II. 265
,, privilege of being ; I. 299
Liturgy, Choral, effect of; I. 273
Logic of Crocodiles ; I. 230
of Ladies; I. 235
,, of Dr. Watts ; do.
requisites for complete Argument in ; I. 259
Loving or being loved. Which is best ? 1-77
Lunatic-Asylums, future use for; II. 132
Lunatics out-numbering the Sane, result of; II. 133
Man, advantages of, over the Dog ; II. 293
,, graduated races of; I. 299
,, Little, privilege of being ; 1.299
Maps, best size for; II. 169
' Matilda Jane ' (Poem) ; II. 76
' Megaloscope ' ; II. 334
Minds, or Books. Which contain most Science ? I. 2 1
Money, effect of increasing value of; I. 312
playing for, a moral act; II. 135
Morality of Sport ; I. xx, 318. II. xviii.
Moral Philosophy, teachers of. Which are most esteemed ?
II. 181
GENERAL INDEX. 419,
Moving-Guests; II. 145
,, Pictures; II. 143
Music, how to get largest amount of in given time ; I. 338.
Why is it sometimes not pleasing? II. 156
'Nero ' the Dog-King ; I. 175. II. 58
Nerve-Force and Free-Will ; I. 390
Nerves, slow action of; I. 158
Novel-reading, how to enjoy ; I. 336
' Obstruction,' Political, in common life ; II. 203
'Onus probandi ' misplaced by Crocodiles ; I. 230
Ladies ; I. 235
,, Dr. Watts ; do.
' Opposition,' Political, in common life ; II. 200
Pain, how to minimise ; 1-337
Paley's definition of Virtue ; I. 273
Parentheses in Conversation, how to indicate; I. 251
Passages, Selected, for learning by heart ; I. xv
Payment of Debts, how to avoid ; I. 1 3 1
'Peter and Paul ' (Poem) ; I. 143
Philosophy, Moral. What kind is most esteemed? II. 181
Phlizz, a visionary flower ; I. 282
fruit ; I. 75
,, nurse-maid ; I. 283
Pictures, how to criticize ; I. 238
Moving ; II. 143
' Pig Tale ' (Poem) ; I. 138; II. 366, 372
Planets, small; II. 170
Playing for money, a moral act; II. 135
Pleasure, how to maximise ; 1-335
420 GENERAL INDEX
Plunge-Bath, portable, for Tourists; I. 25
Poems, first lines of :
' He stept so lightly to the land ' ; I. 291
' He thought he saw an Albatross ' ; I. 164
., an Argument '; II. 319
a Banker's Clerk ' ; 1.90
a Buffalo'; I. 78
a Coach-and-Four ' ; I. 116
an Elephant ' ; I. 65 ; II. 334
,, ,, a Garden-Door '; I. 168
,, a Kangaroo ' ; I. 106
,, ,, a Rattlesnake ' ; I. 83
' In Stature the Manlet was dwarfish '; II. 265
' King Fisher courted Lady Bird ' ; II. 14
' Little Birds are &c. '; II. 364, 371, 377
' Matilda Jane, you never look ' ; II. 76
' One thousand pounds per annuum ' ; II. 194
' Peter is poor, said noble Paul' ; I. 143
' Rise, oh rise ! The daylight dies ' ; I. 215
' Say, what is the spell, when her fledgelings are
cheeping'; II. 305
' There be three Badgers on a mossy stone ' ; I. 247
' There was a Pig, that sat alone ' ; I. 138; II. 366, 372
Political Dichotomy in common life; II. 198, 205, 207 I
., ' Opposition ' in common life ; II. 200
Poor people, method for enriching; I. 312
Poverty, blessings of; I. 152
Prayer for temporal blessings, efficacy of; I. 391
Preachers appealing to Selfishness; I. 276
exceptional privileges of; I. 277
Promises. When are they binding ? 11.26
breaking of. Why is it wrong ? II. 27
Proof, Burden of; (see ' Burden of Proof)
GENERAL INDEX. 421
Property, inherited, duties of owner of ; II. 39
Pseudo-Charity ; II. 43
Purse of Fortunatus, how to make ; II. 100
Questions in Conversation, how to indicate; I. 251
Rail way- Literature ; I. 58
Scenes, Dramatization of; I. 333
Rain, Horizontal, Boots for ; I. 14
Reason and Instinct ; II. 295
power of, in Dog ; II. 294
Retina, images inverted on ; I. 242
Reversed order of Events ; I. 350
Revolving-Humorist ; II. 145
Runaway Horses, how to control; II. 108
Scenery enjoyed most by Little Men ; I. 299
Scholars, Competition for; II. 187
Science, Axioms of; II. 330
Do Books, or Minds, contain most? I. 21
Selections from Bible, for Children ; I. xiii
,, for learning by heart ; I. xiv
,, Prose and Verse, ,, ; I. xv
,, from Shakespeare, for Girls ; I. xv
Selfishness appealed to in Hymns ; I. 276
religious teaching ; do.
,, ,, Sermons ; do.
Sermons appealing to Selfishness ; do.
faults of; I. 277 ; II. xix
Services, Choral, effect of; I. 273
Shakespeare, passages of, discussed :
'All the world's a stage ' ; I. 335
'Aye, every inrh a king ! ' ; I. 373
422 GENERAL INDEX.
Shakespeare, passages of, discussed :
' Is this a dagger that I see before me ? ' ; I. 371
' Rest, rest, perturbed Spirit ! ' ; I. 60
' To be, or not to be ' ; I. 370
Selections from, for Girls ; I. xv
,, treatment of Ghosts by ; I. 60
Shyness, how to indicate in Letter-writing; II. 115
'Sillygism,' requisites for; I. 259
Sinfulness, amount of, in World; II. 125
of an act differs with environment; II. 123
Sobriety, extreme, inconvenience of; I. 140
Spencer, Herbert, difficulties in ; I. 258
Spherical, advantage of being; II. 190.
Sport, Morality of; I. xx, 318. II. xviii.
Steam, influence of, on Literature ; I. 64
Sufferings of Animals, mystery of; II. 296
Sunday, as spent by children of last generation ; I. 387-
observance of; I. 385
Sylvie and Bruno's Song ; II. 305
Teetotal-Card ; II. 139
Theatres, Fires in, how to prevent; II. 165
'Three Badgers' (Poem); I. 247
Time, how to put back; I. 314, 347
reverse; I. 350
,, storage of; II. 105
'Tottles' (Poem); II. 194, 201, 209, 248
Tourists' Portable Bath ; I. 25
Trains running without engines; II. 106
Velocity, Accelerated, causes of; II. 190
Virtue, Paley's definition of; I. 274
Voyages on Land ; II. 109
GENERAL INDEX. 423
Walking-sticks that walk alone, how to obtain ; II. 166
Water, people lighter than, how to obtain ; II. 165
Watts, Dr., Argument for Honesty; I. 235
Logic of; do.
Weather, Horizontal, Boots for; I. 14
Weight, force of, how to exhaust ; II. 343
,, relative, conceivable non-existence of; I. too
Weltering, Bread-sauce appropriate for; I. 58
' What Tottles meant' (Poem) ; II. 194, 201, 209, 248
Wild-Creatures; II. 144
~\Vilderness, use for; II. 158
- Wilful waste, &c.,' lesson to be learnt from ; II. 69
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Illustrations by Miss E. GERTRUDE THOMSON. Crown 8vo, cloth,
gilt edges. [In preparation.
THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, and
Other Poems. With Illustrations by Miss E. GERTRUDE
THOMSON. Crown 8vo, cloth, gilt edges.
N.B. This will be a reprint, possibly with a few additions, of the
serious portion of " Phantasmagoria, and other Poems," published
in 1 869. [In preparation.
WORKS BY LEWIS CARROLL
PUBLISHED BY
MACMILLAN AND CO., LONDON.
CAUTIONS TO READERS.
On August 1st, 1881, a story appeared in Aunl Jiidy 1 * Magazine
No. 184, entitled "The Land of Idleness, by LEWIS CARROLL."
This story \vas really written by a lady, FRAULEIN IDA LACKOWITZ.
Acting on her behalf, Mr. CARROLL forwarded it to the Editor : and
this led to the mistake of naming him as its author.
In October, 1887, the writer of an article on " Literature for the Little
Ones," in The Nineteenth Century, stated that in 1864, "TOM HOOD
was delighting the world with such works as from Nowhere to the
North Pole. Between TOM HOOD and Mr. LEWIS CARROLL there is
more than a suspicion of resemblance in some particulars. Alice's
Adventures in Wonderland narrowly escapes challenging a comparison
with From Nowhere to the North Pole. The idea of both is so similar
that Mr. CARROLL can hardly have been surprised if some people have
believed he was inspired by HOOD." The date 1864 is a mistake. From
Nowhere to the North Pole was first published in 1874, nine years after
the publication of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
ADVICE TO WRITERS.
Buy "THEWONDERLANDCASE FOR POSTAGE-STAMPS,"
invented by LEWIS CARROLL, Oct. 29, 1888, size 4 inches by 3,
containing 12 separate pockets for stamps of different values, 2 Coloured
Pictorial Surprises taken from Alice in Wonderland, and 8 or 9 Wise
Words about Letter- Writing. It is published by Messrs. EMBERLIN &
SON, 4 Magdalen Street, Oxford. Price is.
N. B. If ordered by Post, an additional payment will be required, to
cover cost of postage, as follows :
One copy i^d.
Two or three do. zd.
Four do i\d.
Five to fourteen do 3</.
Each subsequent fourteen or fraction thereof . . . I \d.
[TURN OVER.
[SPECIMEN PAGE]
ALICE'S ADVENTURES UNDER GROUND. By Lewis Carroll.
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Being a Facsimile of the Original MS. Book, afterwards developed into "Alice's
-Adventures in Wonderland." With Thirtyseven Illustrations by the Author.
Crown 8vo, 4s.
MACMILLAN & CO., LONDON.
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY, LOS ANGELES
COLLEGE LIBRARY
This book is due on the last date stamped below.
Book Slip-35m-7,'63(D8634s4)4280
UCLA-College Library
PR4611S984
L 005 669 1 74 4
College
Library
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