Ex Libris 
 C. K. OGDEN
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 SYLVIE AND BRUNO 
 CONCLUDED
 
 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 For over 25 years, I have made it my chief object, 
 with regard to my books, that they should be of the 
 best workmanship attainable for the price. And I 
 am deeply annoyed to find that the last issue of 
 " Through the Looking-Glass," consisting of the 
 Sixtieth Thousand, has been put on sale without its 
 being noticed that most of the pictures have failed 
 so much, in the printing, as to make the book not 
 worth buying. I request all holders of copies to 
 send them to Messrs. Macmillan & Co., 29 Bedford 
 Street, Covent Garden, with their names and 
 addresses ; and copies of the next issue shall be 
 sent them in exchange. 
 
 Instead, however, of destroying the unsold copies, 
 I propose to utilise them by giving them away, to 
 Mechanics' Institutes, Village Reading-Rooms, and 
 similar institutions, where the means for purchasing 
 such books are scanty. Accordingly I invite appli- 
 cations for such gifts, addressed to me, " care of 
 Messrs. Macmillan." Every such application should 
 be signed by some responsible person, and should 
 state how far they are able to buy books for them- 
 selves, and what is the average number of readers. 
 
 I take this opportunity of announcing that, if 
 at any future time I should wish to communicate 
 anything to my Readers, I will do so by advertising, 
 in the 'Agony' Column of some of the Daily Papers, 
 #n the first Tuesday in the month. 
 
 LEWIS CARROLL. 
 
 Christmas, 1893.
 
 [See p. 304.
 
 SYLVIE AND BRUNO 
 CONCLUDED 
 
 WITH FORTY-SIX ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 BY 
 HARRY FURNISS 
 
 PRICE THREE HALF-CROWNS 
 
 Slontion 
 MAC MILL AN AND CO. 
 
 AND NEW YORK 
 '893 
 
 The Right of Translation and Reproduction is Reserved
 
 RICHARD CLAY AND SONS, LIMITED 
 LONDON AND BUNGAY.
 
 Library 
 
 Breams, tijat elutie tfje SJBafcer's fren^teti grasp- 
 Mantis, starfc ant still, on a fceafc ^ftotfjer's fcreast, 
 nebermorc stall render clasp for clasp, 
 j) sootfje a toeeptng CfjiltJ to rest 
 Jn sucfjltfee forms me listed to portraj) 
 Cale, fjere entjeti. ^Tijou tjeltcious 
 
 Cfje guardian of a Spttte tfjat libes to tease tfjee 
 ILobing in earnest, carting tut in plaj) 
 C^e merrj) mocking iSruno! SHto, tfjat sees tfjee, 
 (Kan fail to lobe tfjee, Barling, eben as !? 
 stoeetest 5Blbte, toe must sag ' 
 
 icsiros
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 I MUST begin with the same announcement as in 
 the previous Volume (which I shall henceforward 
 refer to as "Vol. I.," calling the present Volume 
 "Vol. II."), viz. that the Locket, at p. 405, was drawn 
 by ' Miss Alice Havers.' And my reason, for not 
 
 stating this on the title-page that it seems only 
 
 due, to the artist of these wonderful pictures, that 
 
 his name should stand there alone has, I think, 
 
 even greater weight in Vol. II. than it had in Vol. I. 
 Let me call especial attention to the three " Little 
 Birds" borders, at pp. 365, 371, 377. The way, in 
 which he has managed to introduce the most minute 
 details of the stanzas to be illustrated, seems to me 
 a triumph of artistic ingenuity. 
 
 Let me here express my sincere gratitude to the 
 many Reviewers who have noticed, whether favorably 
 or unfavorably, the previous Volume. Their unfavor- 
 able remarks were, most probably, well-deserved ; 
 the favorable ones less probably so. Both kinds 
 have no doubt served to make the book known, and 
 have helped the reading Public to form their opinions 
 of it. Let me also here assure them that it is not 
 from any want of respect for their criticisms, that I
 
 x PREFACE. 
 
 have carefully forborne from reading any of them. 
 I am strongly of opinion that an author had far 
 better not read any reviews of his books : the un- 
 favorable ones are almost certain to make him 
 cross, and the favorable ones conceited ; and neither 
 of these results is desirable. 
 
 Criticisms have, however, reached me from private 
 sources, to some of which I propose to offer a reply. 
 
 One such critic complains that Arthur's strictures, 
 on sermons and on choristers, are too severe. Let me 
 say, in reply, that I do not hold myself responsible 
 for any of the opinions expressed by the characters 
 in my book. They are simply opinions which, it 
 seemed to me, might probably be held by the persons 
 into whose mouths I put them, and which were 
 worth consideration. 
 
 Other critics have objected to certain innovations 
 in spelling, such as " ca'n't," " wo'n't," " traveler." In 
 reply, I can only plead my firm conviction that the 
 popular usage is wrong. As to "ca'n't," it will not 
 be disputed that, in all other words ending in " n't," 
 these letters are an abbreviation of " not " ; and it is 
 surely absurd to suppose that, in this solitary instance, 
 " not " is represented by " 't " ! In fact " can't " is 
 \heproper abbreviation for "can it," just as "is't" is 
 for " is it." Again, in " wo'n't," the first apostrophe 
 is needed, because the word " would " is here abridged 
 into " wo " : but I hold it proper to spell " don't " 
 with only one apostrophe, because the word " do " is 
 here complete. As to such words as " traveler," I 
 hold the correct principle to be, to double the con-
 
 PREFACE. xi 
 
 sonant when the accent falls on that syllable ; other- 
 wise to leave it single. This rule is observed in most 
 cases (e.g. we double the " r " in " preferred," but 
 leave it single in "offered"), so that I am only ex- 
 tending, to other cases, an existing rule. I admit, 
 however, that I do not spell " parallel," as the rule 
 would have it ; but here we are constrained, by the 
 etymology, to insert the double " 1 ". 
 
 In the Preface to Vol. I. were two puzzles, on which 
 my readers might exercise their ingenuity. One was, 
 to detect the 3 lines of " padding," which I had found 
 it necessary to supply in the passage extending from 
 the top of p. 35 to the middle of p. 38. They are 
 the I4th, 1 5th, and i6th lines of p. 37. The other 
 puzzle was, to determine which (if any) of the 8 
 stanzas of the Gardener's Song (see pp. 65, 78, 83, 
 90, 1 06, 1 1 6, 164, 1 68) were adapted to the context, 
 and which (if any) had the context adapted to them. 
 The last of them is the only one that was adapted to 
 the context, the " Garden-Door that opened with a 
 key" having been substituted for some creature (a 
 Cormorant, I think) " that nestled in a tree." At 
 pp. 78, 1 06, and 164, the context was adapted to the 
 stanza. At p. 90, neither stanza nor context was 
 altered : the connection between them was simply a 
 piece of good luck. 
 
 In the Preface to Vol. 1., at pp. ix., x., I gave an 
 account of the making-up of the story of " Sylvie and 
 Bruno." A few more details may perhaps be accept- 
 able to my Readers.
 
 xii PREFACE. 
 
 It was in 1873, as I now believe, that the idea 
 first occurred to me that a little fairy-tale (written, 
 in 1867, for "Aunt Judy's Magazine," under the title 
 " Bruno's Revenge ") might serve as the nucleus of a 
 longer story. This I surmise, from having found the 
 original draft of the last paragraph of Vol. II., dated 
 1873. So that this paragraph has been waiting 20 
 
 years for its chance of emerging into print more 
 
 than twice the period so cautiously recommended by 
 Horace for ' repressing ' one's literary efforts ! 
 
 It was in February, 1885, that I entered into nego- 
 tiations, with Mr. Harry Furniss, for illustrating the 
 book. Most of the substance of both Volumes was 
 then in existence in manuscript : and my original 
 intention was to publish the whole story at once. 
 In September, 1885, I received from Mr. Furniss the 
 
 first set of drawings the four which illustrate 
 
 "Peter and Paul" (see I. pp. 144, 147, 150, 154): in 
 
 November, 1886, I received the second set the 
 
 three which illustrate the Professor's song about the 
 "little man" who had "a little gun" (Vol. II. pp. 
 265, 266, 267): and in January, 1887, I received the 
 third set the four which illustrate the " Pig-Tale." 
 
 So we went on, illustrating first one bit of the 
 story, and then another, without any idea of sequence. 
 And it was not till March, 1889, that, having calcu- 
 lated the number of pages the story would occupy, I 
 decided on dividing it into two portions, and publish- 
 ing it half at a time. This necessitated the writing 
 of a sort of conclusion for the first Volume : and most 
 of my Readers, I fancy, regarded this as the actual
 
 PREFACE. xiii 
 
 conclusion, when that Volume appeared in December, 
 1889. At any rate, among all the letters I received 
 about it, there was only one which expressed any sus- 
 picion that it was not a final conclusion. This letter 
 was from a child. She wrote " we were so glad, 
 when we came to the end of the book, to find that 
 there was no ending-up, for that shows us that you 
 are going to write a sequel." 
 
 It may interest some of my Readers to know the 
 theory on which this story is constructed. It is an 
 attempt to show what might possibly happen, suppos- 
 ing that Fairies really existed ; and that they were 
 sometimes visible to us, and we to them ; and that 
 they were sometimes able to assume human form : 
 and supposing, also, that human beings might some- 
 times become conscious of what goes on in the Fairy- 
 world by actual transference of their immaterial 
 
 essence, such as we meet with in ' Esoteric Buddhism.' 
 
 I have supposed a Human being to be capable of 
 various psychical states, with varying degrees of 
 consciousness, as follows : 
 
 (a) the ordinary state, with no consciousness of the 
 presence of Fairies ; 
 
 (<) the ' eerie ' state, in which, while conscious of 
 actual surroundings, he is also conscious of the pre- 
 sence of Fairies ; 
 
 (c) a form of trance, in which, while ?^zconscious 
 of actual surroundings, and apparently asleep, he (i.e. 
 his immaterial essence) migrates to other scenes, in 
 the actual world, or in Fairyland, and is conscious of 
 the presence of Fairies.
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 i have also supposed a Fairy to be capable of mi- 
 grating from Fairyland into the actual world, and 
 of assuming, at pleasure, a Human form ; and also 
 to be capable of various psychical states, viz. 
 
 (a) the ordinary state, with no consciousness of 
 the presence of Human beings ; 
 
 (b} a sort of ' eerie ' state, in which he is conscious, 
 if in the actual world, of the presence of actual Human 
 beings ; if in Fairyland, of the presence of the im- 
 material essences of Human beings. 
 
 I will here tabulate the passages, in both Volumes, 
 where abnormal states occur. 
 
 Vol. I. 
 
 Historian's Locality and State. 
 
 Other characters. 
 
 pp. i 16 
 33 55 
 65 79 
 83 99 
 105117 
 119 183 
 
 190 221 
 225233 
 
 247253 
 262, 263 
 263 269 
 
 
 b 
 
 a. 
 c 
 
 b 
 b 
 c 
 a. 
 a 
 b 
 
 Chancellor () p. 2. 
 
 S. and B. (6) pp. 158163. 
 Professor (b) p. 169. 
 Bruno (b) pp. 198220. 
 S. and B. (/>). 
 do. (b). 
 
 S. B. and Professor in Human 
 form. 
 
 S. and B. (/,). 
 S. B. and Professor (b). 
 S. and B. in Human form. 
 
 S. and B. (b). 
 
 do 
 
 do 
 
 At lodgings 
 
 On beach 
 At lodgings 
 
 
 do. sleep-walking . 
 Among ruins 
 
 do. dreaming . . 
 do. sleep-walking 
 
 279294 
 304323 
 329344 
 345356 
 361 382 
 
 
 In garden 
 
 
 
 
 
 Vol. II. 
 pp.4 1 8 
 47 5 2 
 
 53 7? 
 79- 92 
 
 152 211 
 212 246 
 262 270 
 304309 
 3"345 
 351399 
 
 407 end. 
 
 
 b 
 b 
 b 
 b 
 a 
 c 
 c 
 b 
 c 
 c 
 
 b 
 
 S. and B. (b). 
 do (b). 
 do in Human form, 
 do (b). 
 do in Human form, 
 do (b). 
 do (b). 
 do (a) ; Lady Muriel (i). 
 
 
 do 
 
 do 
 
 In drawing-room .... 
 do. .... 
 In smoking-room .... 
 In wood 
 
 do 
 
 do 

 
 PREFACE xv 
 
 In the Preface to Vol. I., at p. x., I gave an account 
 of the origination of some of the ideas embodied in 
 the book. A few more such details may perhaps in- 
 terest my Readers : 
 
 I. p. 203. The very peculiar use, here made of a 
 dead mouse, comes from real life. I once found two 
 very small boys, in a garden, playing a microscopic 
 game of c Single-Wicket.' The bat was, I think, about 
 the size of a table-spoon ; and the utmost distance 
 attained by the ball, in its most daring flights, was 
 some 4 or 5 yards. The exact length was of course a 
 matter of supreme importance ; and it was always 
 carefully measured out (the batsman and the bowler 
 amicably sharing the toil) with a dead mouse ! 
 
 I. p. 259. The two quasi-mathematical Axioms, 
 quoted by Arthur at p. 259 of Vol. I., (" Things that 
 are greater than the same are greater than one 
 another," and " All angles are equal ") were actually 
 enunciated, in all seriousness, by undergraduates at a 
 University situated not 100 miles from Ely. 
 
 II. p. 10. Bruno's remark (" I can, if I like, &c.") 
 was actually made by a little boy. 
 
 II. p. 12. So also was his remark (" I know what 
 it doesn't spell.") And his remark (" I just twiddled 
 my eyes, &c.") I heard from the lips of a little girl, 
 who had just solved a puzzle I had set her. 
 
 II. p. 55. Bruno's soliloquy ("For its father, &c.") 
 was actually spoken by a little girl, looking out of 
 the window of a railway-carriage. 
 
 II. p. 138. The remark, made by a guest at the 
 dinner-party, when asking for a dish of fruit (" I've
 
 xvi PREFACE. 
 
 been wishing for them, &c.") I heard made by the 
 great Poet-Laureate, whose loss the whole reading- 
 world has so lately had to deplore. 
 
 II. p. 163. Bruno's speech, on the subject of the 
 age of ' Mein Herr,' embodies the reply of a little 
 girl to the question " Is your grandmother an old 
 lady ? " " I don't know if she's an old lady," said this 
 cautious young person ; " she's eighty-three." 
 
 II. p. 203. The speech about 'Obstruction' is no 
 mere creature of my imagination ! It is copied ver- 
 batim from the columns of the Standard, and was 
 spoken by Sir William Harcourt, who was, at the 
 time, a member of the ' Opposition,' at the ' National 
 Liberal Club,' on July the i6th, 1890. 
 
 II. p. 329. The Professor's remark, about a dog's 
 tail, that " it doesn't bite at that end," was actually 
 made by a child, when warned of the danger he was 
 incurring by pulling the dog's tail. 
 
 II. p. 374. The dialogue between Sylvie and Bruno, 
 which occupies lines 6 to 15, is a verbatim report 
 (merely substituting "cake" for "penny") of a dia- 
 logue overheard between two children. 
 
 One story in this Volume ' Bruno's Picnic '- 
 
 I can vouch for as suitable for telling to children, 
 having tested it again and again ; and, whether my 
 audience has been a dozen little girls in a village- 
 school, or some thirty or forty in a London drawing- 
 room, or a hundred in a High School, I have always 
 found them earnestly attentive, and keenly appreci- 
 ative of such fun as the story supplied.
 
 PREFACE. xvii 
 
 May I take this opportunity of calling attention to 
 what I flatter myself was a successful piece of name- 
 coining, at p. 42 of Vol. I. Does not the name 
 ' Sibimet ' fairly embody the character of the Sub- 
 Warden ? The gentle Reader has no doubt observed 
 what a singularly useless article in a house a brazen 
 trumpet is, if you simply leave it lying about, and 
 never blow it ! 
 
 Readers of the first Volume, who have amused 
 themselves by trying to solve the two puzzles pro- 
 pounded at pp. xi., xii. of the Preface, may perhaps 
 like to exercise their ingenuity in discovering which 
 (if any) of the following parallelisms were intentional, 
 and which (if any) accidental. 
 
 " Little Birds." Events, and Persons. 
 
 Stanza i. Banquet. 
 
 2. Chancellor. 
 
 3. Empress and Spinach (II. 325). 
 
 4. Warden's Return. 
 
 5. Professor's Lecture (II. 339). 
 
 6. Other Professor's song (I. 138' 
 
 7. Petting of Uggug. 
 
 8. Baron Doppelgeist. 
 
 9. Jester and Bear (I. 119). Little Foxes. 
 10. Bruno's Dinner-Bell ; Little Foxes. 
 
 I will publish the answer to this puzzle in the 
 Preface to a little book of " Original Games and 
 Puzzles," now in course of preparation. 
 
 b
 
 xviii PREFACE. 
 
 I have reserved, for the last, one or two rather more 
 serious topics. 
 
 I had intended, in this Preface, to discuss more 
 fully, than I had done in the previous Volume, the 
 ' Morality of Sport ', with special reference to letters 
 I have received from lovers of Sport, in which they 
 point out the many great advantages which men get 
 from it, and try to prove that the suffering, which it 
 inflicts on animals, is too trivial to be regarded. 
 
 But, when I came to think the subject out, and to 
 arrange the whole of the arguments ' pro ' and ' con ', 
 I found it much too large for treatment here. Some 
 day, I hope to publish an essay on this subject. At 
 present, I will content myself with stating the net 
 result I have arrived at. 
 
 It is, that God has given to Man an absolute right 
 to take the lives of other animals, for any reasonable 
 cause, such as the supply of food : but that He has 
 not given to Man the right to inflict pain, unless 
 when necessary: that mere pleasure, or advantage, 
 does not constitute such a necessity : and, con- 
 sequently, that pain, inflicted for the purposes of 
 Sport, is cruel, and therefore wrong. But I find it a 
 far more complex question than I had supposed ; 
 and that the ' case ', on the side of the Sportsman, is 
 a much stronger one than I had supposed. So, for 
 the present, I say no more about it. 
 
 Objections have been raised to the severe language 
 I have put into the mouth of ' Arthur ', at p. 277, on
 
 PREFACE. xix 
 
 the subject of * Sermons,' and at pp. 273, 274, on the 
 subjects of Choral Services and ' Choristers.' 
 
 I have already protested against the assumption 
 that I am ready to endorse the opinions of characters 
 in my story. But, in these two instances, I admit 
 that I am much in sympathy with ' Arthur.' In my 
 opinion, far too many sermons are expected from our 
 preachers ; and, as a consequence, a great many are 
 preached, which are not worth listening to ; and, as a 
 consequence of that, we are very apt not to listen. 
 The reader of this paragraph probably heard a sermon 
 last Sunday morning ? Well, let him, if he can, name 
 the text, and state how the preacher treated it ! 
 
 Then, as-to ' Choristers,' and all the other accessories 
 
 of music, vestments, processions, &c., which 
 
 have come, along with them, into fashion while freely 
 
 admitting that the ' Ritual ' movement was sorely 
 needed, and that it has effected a vast improvement 
 in our Church-Services, which had become dead and 
 dry to the last degree, I hold that, like many other 
 desirable movements, it has gone too far in the oppo- 
 site direction, and has introduced many new dangers. 
 
 For the Congregation this new movement involves 
 the danger of learning to think that the Services are 
 done for them ; and that their bodily presence is all 
 they need contribute. And, for Clergy and Con- 
 gregation alike, it involves the danger of regarding 
 these elaborate Services as ends in themselves, and 
 of forgetting that they are simply means, and the 
 very hollo west of mockeries, unless they bear fruit in 
 our lives. 
 
 b 2
 
 xx PREFACE. 
 
 For the Choristers it seems to involve the danger 
 of self-conceit, as described at p. 274 (N.B. " stagy- 
 entrances " is a misprint for " stage-entrances "), the 
 danger of regarding those parts of the Service, where 
 their help is not required, as not worth attending to, 
 the danger of coming to regard the Service as a mere 
 
 outward form a series of postures to be assumed, 
 
 and of words to be said or sung, while the thoughts 
 
 are elsewhere and the danger of ' familiarity ' 
 
 breeding ' contempt ' for sacred things. 
 
 Let me illustrate these last two forms of danger, 
 from my own experience. Not long ago, I attended 
 a Cathedral-Service, and was placed immediately 
 behind a row of men, members of the Choir ; and I 
 could not help noticing that they treated the Lessons 
 as a part of the Service to which they needed not to 
 give any attention, and as affording them a convenient 
 opportunity for arranging music-books, &c., &c. Also 
 I have frequently seen a row of little choristers, after 
 marching in procession to their places, kneel down, as 
 if about to pray, and rise from their knees after a 
 minute spent in looking about them, it being but too 
 evident that the attitude was a mere mockery. Surely 
 it is very dangerous, for these children, to thus ac- 
 custom them to pretend to pray ? As an instance of 
 irreverent treatment of holy things, I will mention a 
 custom, which no doubt many of my readers have 
 noticed in Churches where the Clergy and Choir enter 
 in procession, viz. that, at the end of the private de- 
 votions, which are carried on in the vestry, and which 
 are of course inaudible to the Congregation, the final
 
 PREFACE. xxi 
 
 " Amen " is shouted, loud enough to be heard all 
 through the Church. This serves as a signal, to the 
 Congregation, to prepare to rise when the procession 
 appears : and it admits of no dispute that it is for this 
 purpose that it is thus shouted. When we remember 
 to Whom that " Amen " is really addressed, and con- 
 sider that it is here used for the same purpose as one 
 of the Church-bells, we must surely admit that it is a 
 piece of gross irreverence ? To me it is much as if 
 I were to see a Bible used as a footstool. 
 
 As an instance of the dangers, .for the Clergy 
 themselves, introduced by this new movement, let 
 me mention the fact that, according to my experi- 
 ence, Clergymen of this school are specially apt to 
 retail comic anecdotes, in which the most sacred 
 
 names and words sometimes actual texts from 
 
 the Bible are used as themes for jesting. Many 
 
 such things are repeated as having been originally 
 said by children, whose utter ignorance of evil must 
 no doubt acquit them, in the sight of God, of all 
 blame ; but it must be otherwise for those who 
 consciously use such innocent utterances as material 
 for their unholy mirth. 
 
 Let me add, however, most earnestly, that I fully 
 believe that this profanity is, in many cases, wwcon- 
 scious : the ' environment ' (as I have tried to explain 
 at p. 123) makes all the difference between man and 
 man ; and I rejoice to think that many of these pro- 
 fane stories which / find so painful to listen to, 
 
 and should feel it a sin to repeat give to their ears 
 
 no pain, and to their consciences no shock ; and that
 
 xxii PREFACE. 
 
 they can utter, not less sincerely than myself, the 
 two prayers, " Hallowed be TJiy Name" and "from 
 hardness of heart, and 'contempt of Thy Word and 
 Commandment, Good Lord, deliver us ! " To which 
 I would desire to add, for their sake and for my own, 
 Keble's beautiful petition, "help us, this and every day, 
 To live more nearly as we pray /" It is, in fact, for 
 its consequences for the grave dangers, both to speaker 
 and to hearer, which it involves rather than for what 
 it is in itself, that I mourn over this clerical habit of 
 profanity in social talk. To the believing hearer it 
 brings the danger of loss of reverence for holy things, 
 by the mere act of listening to, and enjoying, such 
 jests ; and also the temptation to retail them for the 
 amusement of others. To the unbelieving hearer it 
 brings a welcome confirmation of his theory that 
 religion is a fable, in the spectacle of its accredited 
 champions thus betraying their trust. And to the 
 speaker himself it must surely bring the danger of 
 loss of faith. For surely such jests, if uttered with 
 no consciousness of harm, must necessarily be also 
 uttered with no consciousness, at the moment, of the 
 reality of God, as a living being-,-who hears all we say. 
 And he, who allows himself the habit of thus uttering 
 holy words, with no thought of their meaning, is but 
 too likely to find that, for him, God has become a 
 myth, and heaven a poetic fancy that, for him, the 
 light of life is gone, and that he is at heart an atheist, 
 lost in " darkness that may be felt." 
 
 There is, I fear, at the present time, an increasing 
 tendency to irreverent treatment of the name of God
 
 PREFACE. xxiii 
 
 and of subjects connected with religion. Some of 
 our theatres are helping this downward movement by 
 the gross caricatures of clergymen which they put 
 upon the stage : some of our clergy are themselves 
 helping it, by showing that they can lay aside the 
 spirit of reverence, along with their surplices, and can 
 treat as jests, when outside their churches, names and 
 things to which they pay an almost superstitious 
 veneration when inside: the " Salvation Army" has, 
 I fear, with the best intentions, done much to help it, 
 by the coarse familiarity with which they treat holy 
 things : and surely every one, who desires to live in 
 the spirit of the prayer " Hallowed be thy Name" 
 ought to do what he can, however little that may be, 
 to check it So I have gladly taken this unique 
 opportunity, however unfit the topic may seem for the 
 Preface to a book of this kind, to express some 
 thoughts which have weighed on my mind for a long 
 time. I did not expect, when I wrote the Preface to 
 Vol. I, that it would be read to any appreciable ex- 
 tent : but I rejoice to believe, from evidence that has 
 reached me, that it has been read by many, and to 
 hope that this Preface will also be so : and I think 
 that, among them, some will be found ready to 
 sympathise with the views I have put forwards, and 
 ready to help, with their prayers and their example, 
 the revival, in Society, of the waning spirit of 
 reverence. 
 
 Christmas, 1893.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 i. BRUNO'S LESSONS i 
 
 II. LOVE'S CURFEW 20 
 
 III. STREAKS OF DAWN 36 
 
 IV. THE DOG-KING 52 
 
 V. MATILDA JANE 67 
 
 vi. WILLIE'S WIFE 82 
 
 VI T. FORTUNATUS* PURSE 96 
 
 VIII. IN A SHADY PLACE IIO 
 
 IX. THE FAREWELL-PARTY 128 
 
 X. JABBERING AND JAM 147 
 
 XI. THE MAN IN THE MOON 162 
 
 XII. FAIRY-MUSIC 175 
 
 XIII. WHAT TOTTLES MEANT 194 
 
 xiv. : BRUNO'S PICNIC , . 212
 
 CONTENTS. xxvii 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 XV. THE LITTLE FOXES 233 
 
 XVI. BEYOND THESE VOICES 247 
 
 XVII. TO THE RESCUE.' 262 
 
 XVIII. A NEWSPAPER-CUTTING 282 
 
 XIX. A FAIRY-DUET 287 
 
 XX. GAMMON AND SPINACH 310 
 
 xxi. THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE 329 
 
 XXII. THE BANQUET 346 
 
 XXIII. THE PIG-TALE 363 
 
 xxiv. THE BEGGAR'S RETURN 381 
 
 XXV. LIFE OUT OF DEATH 400 
 
 GENERAL INDEX 413 
 
 LIST OF WORKS 426
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS TO VOL. I. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 THE MARCH-UP 3 
 
 VISITING THE PROFESSOR II 
 
 BOOTS FOR HORIZONTAL WEATHER 15 
 
 A PORTABLE PLUNGE-BATH 24 
 
 REMOVAL OF UGGUG 41 
 
 ' WHAT A GAME ! ' 48 
 
 ' DRINK THIS ! ' 53 
 
 'COME, YOU BE OFF !. ' 62 
 
 THE GARDENER 66 
 
 A BEGGAR'S PALACE Front. 
 
 THE CRIMSON LOCKET ... - 77 
 
 'HE THOUGHT HE SAW A BUFFALO' 79 
 
 'IT WAS A HIPPOPOTAMUS' 91 
 
 THE MAP OF FAIRYLAND 96 
 
 'HE THOUGHT HE SAW A KANGAROO' 106 
 
 THE MOUSE-LION IO8 
 
 'HAMMER IT IN ! ' 115 
 
 A BEAR WITHOUT A HEAD 117 
 
 'COME UP, BRUIN!' 123 
 
 THE OTHER PROFESSOR 135 
 
 ' HOW CHEERFULLY THE BOND HE SIGNED ! ' ... 144 
 
 'POOR PETER SHUDDERED IN DESPAIR' 147
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS TO VOL. I. xxix 
 
 PAGE 
 
 'SUCH BOOTS AS THESE YOU SELDOM SEE' .... 150 
 
 'I WILL LEND YOU FIFTY MORE!' 154 
 
 'HE THOUGHT HE SAW AN ALBATROSS' 165 
 
 THE MASTIFF-SENTINEL ...' 172 
 
 THE DOG-KING , . 176 
 
 FAIRY-SYLVIE 193 
 
 BRUNO'S REVENGE ' 213 
 
 FAIRIES RESTING 226 
 
 A CHANGED CROCODILE 229 
 
 A LECTURE ON ART 240 
 
 'THREE BADGERS ON A MOSSY STONE' 247 
 
 'THE FATHER-BADGER, WRITHING IN A CAVE* . . . 249 
 
 'THOSE AGED ONES WAXED GAY' 252 
 
 ' HOW PERFECTLY ISOCHRONOUS ! ' 268 
 
 THE LAME CHILD 280 
 
 'IT WENT IN TWO HALVES' 285 
 
 FIVE O'CLOCK TEA 296 
 
 ' WHAT'S THE MATTER, DARLING ? ' 307 
 
 THE DEAD HARE 321 
 
 CROSSING THE LINE 341 
 
 'THE PUG-DOG SAT UP' 351 
 
 THE QUEEN'S BABY 363 
 
 THE FROGS' BIRTHDAY-TREAT 373 
 
 ' HE WRENCHED OUT THAT CROCODILE'S TOOF ! ' . . 380 
 
 'LOOK EASTWARD!' 395
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS TO VOL. II. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 SYLVIE'S TRUANT-PUPIL . . 8 
 
 KING FISHER'S WOOING 15 
 
 'SPEND IT ALL FOR MINNIE' 22 
 
 ' ARE NOT THOSE ORCHISES ? ' 50 
 
 A ROYAL THIEF-TAKER 62 
 
 ' SUMMAT WRONG Wl' MY SPECTACLES !'.... 64 
 
 BESSIE'S SONG 75 
 
 THE RESCUE OF WILLIE 83 
 
 WILLIE'S WIFE 88 
 
 FORTUNATUS' PURSE 103 
 
 'I AM SITTING AT YOUR FEET' 119 
 
 MEIN HERR'S FAIRY-FRIENDS 163 
 
 'HOW CALL YOU THE OPERA?' ....... 178 
 
 SCHOLAR-HUNTING : THE PURSUED 1 88 
 
 SCHOLAR-HUNTING : THE PURSUERS 189 
 
 THE EGG-MERCHANT 197 
 
 STARTING FOR BRUNO'S PICNIC 230 
 
 'ENTER THE LION' . . . . 236 
 
 ' WHIHUAUCH ! WHIHUAUCH ! ' 242 
 
 ' NEVER ! ' YELLED TOTTLES 248 
 
 BRUNO'S BED-TIME . . 265 
 
 ' LONG CEREMONIOUS CALLS ' ... 266
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS TO VOL. II. xxxi 
 
 PAGE 
 
 THE VOICES 267 
 
 'HIS SOUL SHALL BE SAD FOR THE SPIDER' . . . 268 
 
 LORDS OF THE CREATION 271 
 
 'WILL YOU NOT SPARE ME?' 277 
 
 IN THE CHURCH-YARD 2QI 
 
 A FAIRY-DUET Front. 
 
 THE OTHER PROFESSOR FOUND 317 
 
 'HER IMPERIAL HIGHNESS is SURPRISED!' ... 326 
 
 'HE THOUGHT HE SAW AN ELEPHANT' . . . . 335 
 
 AN EXPLOSION 345 
 
 'A CANNOT SHAK' HANDS wi' THEE!' 350 
 
 THE OTHER PROFESSOR'S FALL 352 
 
 'TEACHING TIGRESSES TO SMILE ' 365 
 
 'HORRID WAS THAT PIG'S DESPAIR!' 367 
 
 THE FATAL JUMP 369 
 
 'BATHING CROCODILES IN CREAM' .... . 371 
 
 THAT PIG LAY STILL AS ANY STONE' 372 
 
 'STILL HE SITS IN MISERIE' 373 
 
 ' BLESSED BY HAPPY STAGS ' 377 
 
 THE OLD BEGGAR'S RETURN 382 
 
 ' PORCUPINE !'.... 386 
 
 ' GOOD-NIGHT, PROFESSOR ! ' 395 
 
 'HIS WIFE KNELT DOWN AT HIS SIDE' .... 401 
 
 THE BLUE LOCKET 405 
 
 ' IT IS LOVE ! ' 407
 
 SYLVIE AND BRUNO 
 CONCLUDED. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 BRUNO'S LESSONS. 
 
 DURING the next month or two my solitary 
 town-life seemed, by contrast, unusually dull 
 and tedious. I missed . the pleasant friends I 
 had left behind at Elveston the genial inter- 
 change of thought the sympathy which gave 
 
 to one's ideas a new and vivid reality : but, 
 perhaps more than all, I missed the companion- 
 ship of the two Fairies or Dream-Children, 
 
 for I had not yet solved the problem as to 
 who or what they were whose sweet playful- 
 ness had shed a magic radiance over my life. 
 
 In office-hours which I suppose reduce 
 
 most men to the mental condition of a coffee- 
 IE B
 
 2 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 mill or a mangle time sped along much as 
 
 usual : it was in the pauses of life, the desolate 
 hours when books and newspapers palled on 
 the sated appetite, and when, thrown back 
 upon one's own dreary musings, one strove 
 
 all in vain to people the vacant air with the 
 
 dear faces of absent friends, that the real bitter- 
 ness of solitude made itself felt. 
 
 One evening, feeling my life a little more 
 wearisome than usual, I strolled down to my 
 Club, not so much with the hope of meeting 
 any friend there, for London was now ' out of 
 town,' as with the feeling that here, at least, 
 I should hear ' sweet words of human speech/ 
 and come into contact with human thought. 
 
 However, almost the first face I saw there 
 was that of a friend. Eric Lindon was loung- 
 ing, with rather a 'bored' expression of face, 
 over a newspaper ; and we fell into conversa- 
 tion with a mutual satisfaction which neither 
 of us tried to conceal. 
 
 After a while I ventured to introduce what 
 was just then the main subject of my thoughts. 
 "And so the Doctor" (a name we had adopted 
 by a tacit agreement, as a convenient com-
 
 i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 3 
 
 promise between the formality of ' Doctor 
 
 Forester' and the intimacy to which Eric 
 
 Lindon hardly seemed entitled of 'Arthur') 
 
 "has gone abroad by this time, I suppose? 
 Can you give me his present address ? " 
 
 " He is still at Elveston 1 believe," was 
 
 the reply. "But I have not been there since 
 I last met you." 
 
 I did not know which part of this intelligence 
 
 to wonder at most. " And might I ask if 
 
 it isn't taking too much of a liberty when 
 
 your wedding-bells are to or perhaps they 
 
 have rung, already ? " 
 
 " No," said Eric, in a steady voice, which 
 betrayed scarcely a trace of emotion : "//^en- 
 gagement is at an end. I am still ' Benedick 
 the //Tzmarried man.' ' 
 
 After this, the thick-coming fancies all 
 
 radiant with new possibilities of happiness for 
 
 Arthur were far too bewildering to admit of 
 
 any further conversation, and I was only too 
 glad to avail myself of the first decent excuse, 
 that offered itself, for retiring into silence. 
 
 The next day I wrote to Arthur, with as 
 much of a reprimand for his long silence as I 
 
 B 2
 
 4 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 could bring myself to put into words, begging 
 him to tell me how the world went with him. 
 
 Needs must that three or four days pos- 
 sibly more should elapse before I could 
 
 receive his reply ; and never had I known days 
 drag their slow length along with a more tedi- 
 ous indolence. 
 
 To while away the time, I strolled, one after- 
 noon, into Kensington Gardens, and, wandering 
 aimlessly along any path that presented itself, 
 I soon became aware that I had somehow 
 strayed into one that was wholly new to me. 
 Still, my elfish experiences seemed to have so 
 completely faded out of my life that nothing 
 was further from my thoughts than the idea of 
 again meeting my fairy-friends, when I chanced 
 to notice a small creature, moving among the 
 grass that fringed the path, that did not seem 
 to be an insect, or a frog, or any other living 
 thing that I could think of. Cautiously kneel- 
 ing down, and making an ex tempore cage of 
 my two hands, I imprisoned the little wanderer, 
 .and felt a sudden thrill of surprise and delight 
 on discovering that my prisoner was no other 
 than Bruno himself!
 
 i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 5 
 
 Bruno took the matter very coolly, and, when 
 I had replaced him on the ground, where he 
 would be within easy conversational distance, 
 he began talking, just as if it were only a few 
 minutes since last we had met. 
 
 " Doos oo know what the Rule is," he en- 
 quired, " when oo catches a Fairy, withouten 
 its having tolded oo where it was ? " (Bruno's 
 notions of English Grammar had certainly not 
 improved since our last meeting.) 
 
 " No," I said. " I didn't know there was any 
 Rule about it." 
 
 " I think oo've got a right to eat me," said 
 the little fellow, looking up into my face with a 
 winning smile. " But I'm not pruffickly sure. 
 Oo'd better hot do it wizout asking." 
 
 It did indeed seem reasonable not to take so 
 irrevocable a step as that, without due enquiry. 
 " I'll certainly ask about it, first," I said. " Be- 
 sides, I don't know yet whether you would be 
 worth eating ! " 
 
 " I guess I'm deliriously good to eat," Bruno 
 remarked in a satisfied tone, as if it were some- 
 thing to be rather proud of. 
 
 " And what are you doing here, Bruno ?"
 
 6 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Tkafs not iny name!" said my cunning 
 little friend. " Don't oo know my name's ' Oh 
 Bruno ! ' ? That's what Sylvie always calls me, 
 when- I says mine lessons." 
 
 " Well then, what are you doing here, oh 
 Bruno?" 
 
 " Doing mine lessons, a-course ! " With 
 that roguish twinkle in his eye, that always 
 came when he knew he was talking nonsense. 
 
 " Oh, thafs the way you do your lessons, 
 is it ? And do you remember them well ? " 
 
 " Always can 'member mine lessons," said 
 Bruno. " It's Sylvie s lessons that's so dreffully 
 hard to 'member ! '' He frowned, as if in 
 agonies of thought, and tapped his forehead 
 with his knuckles. " I cant think enough to 
 understand them!" he said despairingly. " It 
 wants double thinking, I believe ! " 
 
 " But where's Sylvie gone ? " 
 
 " That's just what / want to know ! " said 
 Bruno disconsolately. " What ever's the good 
 of setting me lessons, when she isn't here to 
 'splain the hard bits ? " 
 
 " /'// find her for you ! " I volunteered ; and, 
 getting up, I wandered round the tree under
 
 i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 7 
 
 whose shade I had been reclining, looking on 
 all sides for Sylvie. In another minute I again 
 noticed some strange thing moving among the 
 grass, and, kneeling down, was immediately 
 confronted with Sylvie's innocent face, lighted 
 up with a joyful surprise at seeing me, and was 
 accosted, in the sweet voice I knew so well, 
 with what seemed to be the end of a sentence 
 whose beginning I had failed to catch. 
 
 " - - and I think he ought to have finished 
 them by this time. So I'm going back to him. 
 Will you come too ? It's only just round at 
 the other side of this tree." 
 
 It was but a few steps for me ; but it was a 
 great many for Sylvie ; and I had to be very 
 careful to walk slowly, in order not to leave 
 the little creature so far behind as to lose 
 sight of her. 
 
 To find Bruno's lessons was easy enough : 
 they appeared to be neatly written out on large 
 smooth ivy-leaves, which were scattered in some 
 confusion over a little patch of ground where 
 the grass had been worn away ; but the pale 
 student, who ought by rights to have been 
 bending over them, was nowhere to be seen :
 
 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 we looked in all directions, for some time, In 
 vain ; but at last Sylvie's sharp eyes detected 
 him, swinging on a tendril of ivy, and Sylvie's 
 stern voice commanded his instant return to 
 terra firma and to the business of Life.
 
 I] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 9 
 
 "Pleasure first and business afterwards" 
 seemed to be the motto of these tiny folk, so 
 many hugs and kisses had to be interchanged 
 before anything else could be done. 
 
 " Now, Bruno," Sylvie said reproachfully, 
 " didn't I tell you you were to go on with your 
 lessons, unless you heard to the contrary ? " 
 
 " But I did heard to the contrary ! " Bruno 
 insisted, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 
 
 " What did you hear, you wicked boy ?" 
 
 " It were a sort of noise in the air," said 
 Bruno : " a sort of a scrambling noise. Didn't 
 oo hear it, Mister Sir ? " 
 
 " Well, anyhow, you needn't go to sleep over 
 them, you lazy-lazy ! " For Bruno had curled 
 himself up, on the largest ' lesson,' and was 
 arranging another as a pillow. 
 
 " I ivasnt asleep ! " said Bruno, in a deeply- 
 injured tone. " When I shuts mine eyes, it's 
 to show that I'm awake!" 
 
 :( Well, how much have you learned, then ?" 
 
 " I've learned a little tiny bit," said Bruno, 
 modestly, being evidently afraid of overstating 
 his achievement. " Cant learn no more ! " 
 
 " Oh Bruno ! You know you can, if you like."
 
 io SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Course I can, if I like" the pale student 
 replied ; "but I ca'n't if I dorit like !" 
 
 Sylvie had a way which I could not too 
 
 highly admire of evading Bruno's logical 
 
 perplexities by suddenly striking into a new 
 line of thought ; and this masterly stratagem 
 she now adopted. 
 
 " Well, I must say one thing " 
 
 " Did oo know, Mister Sir," Bruno thought- 
 fully remarked, " that Sylvie ca'n't count ? 
 Whenever she says ' I must say one thing,' I 
 know quite well she'll say two things ! And 
 she always doos." 
 
 " Two heads are better than one, Bruno," I 
 said, but with no very distinct idea as to what 
 I meant by it. 
 
 " I shouldn't mind having two heads" Bruno 
 said softly to himself : " one head to eat mine 
 dinner, and one head to argue wiz Sylvie 
 doos oo think oo'd look prettier if oo'd got 
 two heads, Mister Sir ? " 
 
 The case did not, I assured him, admit of a 
 doubt. 
 
 " The reason why Sylvie's so cross- 
 Bruno went on very seriously, almost sadly.
 
 i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. n 
 
 Sylvie's eyes grew large and round with 
 
 surprise at this new line of enquiry her rosy 
 
 face being perfectly radiant with good humour. 
 But she said nothing. 
 
 " Wouldn't it be better to tell me after the 
 lessons are over ? " I suggested. 
 
 " Very well," Bruno said with a resigned air : 
 " only she wo'n't be cross then." 
 
 " There's only three lessons to do," said Sylvie. 
 "Spelling, and Geography, and Singing." 
 
 " Not Arithmetic ?" I said. 
 
 " No, he hasn't a head for Arithmetic 
 
 "Course I haven't!" said Bruno. "Mine 
 head's for hair. \ haven't got a lot of heads ! " 
 
 " - - and he ca'n't learn his Multiplication- 
 table " 
 
 " I like History ever so much better," Bruno 
 remarked. " Oo has to repeat that Muddlecome 
 table " 
 
 " Well, and you have to repeat 
 
 " No, oo hasn't ! " Bruno interrupted. " His- 
 tory repeats itself. The Professor said so ! " 
 
 Sylvie was arranging some letters on a 
 
 board E V I L. " Now, Bruno," she 
 
 said, " what does that spell ?"
 
 12 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Bruno looked at it, in solemn silence, for a 
 minute. " I knows what it doosrit spell ! " he 
 said at last. 
 
 " That's no good," said Sylvie. " What does 
 it spell?" 
 
 Bruno took another look at the mysterious 
 letters. "Why, it's 'LIVE,' backwards!" he 
 exclaimed. (I thought it was, indeed.) 
 
 " How did you manage to see that ? " said 
 Sylvie. 
 
 " I just twiddled my eyes," said Bruno, 
 " and then I saw it directly. Now may I 
 sing the King-fisher Song ?" 
 
 " Geography next," said Sylvie. " Don't you 
 know the Rules ? " 
 
 " I thinks there oughtn't to be such a lot of 
 Rules, Sylvie ! I thinks 
 
 " Yes, there ought to be such a lot of Rules, 
 you wicked, wicked boy ! And how dare you 
 think at all about it ? And shut up that 
 mouth directly ! " 
 
 So, as ' that mouth ' didn't seem inclined to 
 
 shut up of itself, Sylvie shut it for him with 
 
 both hands and sealed it with a kiss, just as 
 
 you would fasten up a letter.
 
 l] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 13 
 
 " Now that Bruno is fastened up from 
 talking," she went on, turning to me, " I'll 
 show you the Map he does his lessons on." 
 
 And there it was, a large Map of the World, 
 spread out on the ground. It was so large that 
 Bruno had to crawl about on it, to point out the 
 places named in the 'King-fisher Lesson.' 
 
 " When a King-fisher sees a Lady-bird flying 
 away, he says ' Ceylon, if you Candia /' And 
 when he catches it, he says ' Come to Media ! 
 And if you're Hungary or thirsty, I'll give you 
 some Nubia / ' When he takes it in his claws, 
 he says ' Europe ! ' When he puts it into his 
 beak, he says ' India ! ' When he's swallowed 
 it, he says ' Eton / ' That's all." 
 
 " That's quite perfect," said Sylvie. " Now 
 you may sing the King-fisher Song." 
 
 "Will oo sing the chorus ? " Bruno said to me. 
 
 I was just beginning to say " I'm afraid I 
 don't know the words" when Sylvie silently 
 turned the map over, and I found the words 
 were all written on the back. In one respect 
 it was a very peculiar song : the chorus to each 
 verse came in the middle., instead of at the end 
 of it. However, the tune was so easy that I
 
 14 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 soon picked it up, and managed the chorus as 
 well, perhaps, as it is possible for one person to 
 manage such a thing. It was in vain that I 
 signed to Sylvie to help me : she only smiled 
 sweetly and shook her head. 
 
 "King Fislier courted Lady Bird 
 
 Sing Beans, sing Bones, sing Butterflies ! 
 ' Find me my match,' he said, 
 ' With sucJi a noble head 
 With such a beard, as white as curd 
 With stick expressive eyes ! ' 
 
 " ' Yet pins have heads,' said Lady Bird- 
 
 Sing Prunes, sing Prawns, sing Primrose-Hill ! 
 
 ' A nd, where you stick tliem in, 
 They stay, and thus a pin 
 Is very much to be preferred 
 To one that's never still /' 
 
 " ' Oysters have beards ,' said Lady Bird 
 Sing Flies, sing Frogs, sing Fiddle-strings ! 
 ' / love them, for I knoiv 
 They never chatter so : 
 They would not say one single word 
 Not if you crowned them Kings ! '
 
 BRUNO'S LESSONS. 
 
 " ' Needles Jiave eyes,' said Lady Bird- 
 
 Sing Cats, sing Corks, sing Cowslip-tea! 
 
 ' And they are sJiarp -justwJiat 
 
 Your Majesty is not : 
 So get you gone 'tis too absurd 
 
 To come a-courting me ! ' '
 
 16 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "So he went away," Bruno added as a kind 
 of postscript, when the last note of the song 
 had died away. " Just like he always did." 
 
 " Oh, my dear Bruno ! " Sylvie exclaimed, 
 with her hands over her ears. "You shouldn't 
 say ' like ' : you should say ' what! ' 
 
 To which Bruno replied, doggedly, " I only 
 says ' what ! ' when oo doosn't speak loud, so 
 as I can hear oo." 
 
 " Where did he go to ?" I asked, hoping to 
 prevent an argument. 
 
 " He went more far than he'd never been 
 before," said Bruno. 
 
 "You should never say 'more far,'" Sylvie 
 corrected him : " you should say 'farther' ' 
 
 " Then oo shouldn't say ' more broth,' when 
 we're at dinner," Bruno retorted : " oo should 
 say ' brother ' I " 
 
 This time Sylvie evaded an argument by 
 turning away, and beginning to roll up the 
 Map. " Lessons are over ! " she proclaimed 
 in her sweetest tones. 
 
 " And has there been no crying over them ? " 
 I enquired. " Little boys always cry over their 
 lessons, don't they ? "
 
 i] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 17 
 
 " I never cries after twelve o'clock," said 
 Bruno: "'cause then it's getting so near to 
 dinner-time." 
 
 " Sometimes, in the morning," Sylvie said in 
 a low voice ; " when it's Geography-day, and 
 when he's been disobe 
 
 " What a fellow you are to talk, Sylvie ! " 
 Bruno hastily interposed. " Doos oo think 
 the world was made for oo to talk in ? " 
 
 " Why, where would you have me talk, 
 then ? " Sylvie said, evidently quite ready for 
 an argument. 
 
 But Bruno answered resolutely. " I'm not 
 going to argue about it, 'cause it's getting late, 
 
 and there wo'n't be time but oo's as 'ong as 
 
 ever oo can be ! " And he rubbed the back of 
 his hand across his eyes, in which tears were 
 beginning to glitter. 
 
 Sylvie s eyes filled with tears in a moment. 
 " I didn't mean it, Bruno, darling /" she whis- 
 pered ; and the rest of the argument was lost 
 'amid the tangles of Nea^ra's hair,' while the 
 two disputants hugged and kissed each other. 
 
 But this new form of argument was brought 
 to a sudden end by a flash of lightning, which 
 
 c
 
 i8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 was closely followed by a peal of thunder, and 
 by a torrent of rain-drops, which came hissing 
 and spitting, almost like live creatures, through 
 the leaves of the tree that sheltered us. 
 
 " Why, it's raining cats and dogs ! " I said. 
 
 "And all the dogs has come down first" 
 said Bruno : " there's nothing but cats coming 
 down now ! " 
 
 In another minute the pattering ceased, as 
 suddenly as it had begun. I stepped out from 
 under the tree, and found that the storm was 
 over ; but I looked in vain, on my return, for 
 my tiny companions. They had vanished with 
 the storm, and there was nothing for it but to 
 make the best of my way home. 
 
 On the table lay, awaiting my return, an 
 envelope of that peculiar yellow tint which 
 always announces a telegram, and which must 
 be, in the memories of so many of us, in- 
 separably linked with some great and sudden 
 
 sorrow something that has cast a shadow, 
 
 never in this world to be wholly lifted off, on 
 the brightness of Life. No doubt it has also 
 
 heralded for many of us some sudden 
 
 news of joy ; but this, I think, is less common :
 
 I] BRUNO'S LESSONS. 19 
 
 human life seems, on the whole, to contain 
 more of sorrow than of joy. And yet the 
 world goes on. Who knows why ? 
 
 This time, however, there was no shock of 
 sorrow to be faced : in fact, the few words it 
 contained (" Could not bring myself to write. 
 Come soon. Always welcome. A letter follows 
 this. Arthur.") seemed so like Arthur himself 
 speaking, that it gave me quite a thrill of 
 pleasure, and I at once began the preparations 
 needed for the journey.
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 LOVE'S CURFEW. 
 
 " FAYFIELD Junction ! Change for Elveston!" 
 What subtle memory could there be, linked 
 to these commonplace words, that caused such 
 a flood of happy thoughts to fill my brain ? I 
 dismounted from the carriage in a state of 
 joyful excitement for which I could not at first 
 account. True, I had taken this very journey, 
 and at the same hour of the day, six months 
 ago ; but many things had happened since 
 then, and an old man's memory has but a 
 slender hold on recent events : I sought ' the 
 missing link ' in vain. Suddenly I caught 
 sight of a bench the only one provided on
 
 II] LOVE'S CURFEW. 21 
 
 the cheerless platform with a lady seated 
 
 on it, and the whole forgotten scene flashed 
 upon me as vividly as if it were happening 
 over again. 
 
 "Yes," I thought. " This bare platform is, 
 for me, rich with the memory of a dear friend ! 
 She was sitting on that very bench, and in- 
 vited me to share it, with some quotation from 
 
 Shakespeare 1 forget what. I'll try the 
 
 Earl's plan for the Dramatisation of Life, and 
 fancy that figure to be Lady Muriel ; and I 
 won't undeceive myself too soon ! " 
 
 So I strolled along the platform, resolutely 
 ' making-believe ' (as children say) that the 
 casual passenger, seated on that bench, was 
 the Lady Muriel I remembered so well. She 
 was facing away from me, which aided the 
 elaborate cheatery I was practising on myself : 
 but, though I was careful, in passing the spot, 
 to look the other way, in order to prolong the 
 pleasant illusion, it was inevitable that, when I 
 turned to walk back again, I should see who 
 it was. It was Lady Muriel herself! 
 
 The whole scene now returned vividly to 
 my memory ; and, to make this repetition of
 
 22 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED 
 
 it stranger still, there was the same old man, 
 whom I remembered seeing so roughly ordered 
 off, by the Station- Master, to make room for 
 his titled passenger. The same, but ' with a 
 difference ' : no longer tottering feebly along 
 the platform, but actually seated at Lady 
 Muriel's side, and in conversation with her ! 
 " Yes, put it in your purse," she was saying, 
 " and remember you're to spend it all for 
 Minnie. And mind you bring her something 
 nice, that'll do her real good ! And give her
 
 n] LOVE'S CURFEW. 23 
 
 my love ! " So intent was she on saying these 
 words, that, although the sound of my footstep 
 had made her lift her head and look at me, 
 she did not at first recognise me. 
 
 I raised my hat as I approached, and then 
 there flashed across her face a genuine look 
 of joy, which so exactly recalled the sweet face 
 of Sylvie, when last we met in Kensington 
 Gardens, that I felt quite bewildered. 
 
 Rather than disturb the poor old man at her 
 side, she rose from her seat, and joined me in 
 my walk up and down the platform, and for a 
 minute or two our conversation was as utterly 
 trivial and commonplace as if we were merely 
 two casual guests in a London drawing-room. 
 Each of us seemed to shrink, just at first, 
 from touching on the deeper interests which 
 linked our lives together. 
 
 The Elveston train had drawn up at the 
 platform, while we talked ; and, in obedience 
 to the Station-Master's obsequious hint of 
 " This way, my Lady ! Time's up ! ", we were 
 making the best of our way towards the end 
 which contained the sole first-class carriage, 
 and were just passing the now-empty bench,
 
 24 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 when Lady Muriel noticed, lying on it, the 
 purse in which her gift had just been so 
 carefully bestowed, the owner of which, all 
 unconscious of his loss, was being helped into 
 a carriage at the other end of the train. She 
 pounced on it instantly. " Poor old man ! " 
 she cried. " He mustn't go off, and think 
 he's lost it ! " 
 
 " Let me run with it ! I can go quicker 
 than you ! " I said. But she was already 
 half-way down the platform, flying (' running ' 
 is much too mundane a word for such fairy- 
 like motion) at a pace that left all possible 
 efforts of mine hopelessly in the rear. 
 
 She was back again before I had well com- 
 pleted my audacious boast of speed in running, 
 and was saying, quite demurely, as we entered 
 our carriage, " and you really think you could 
 have done it quicker ? " 
 
 " No indeed ! " I replied. " I plead ' Guilty ' 
 of gross exaggeration, and throw myself on the 
 mercy of the Court ! " 
 
 " The Court will overlook it for this 
 
 once ! " Then her manner suddenly changed 
 from playfulness to an anxious gravity.
 
 n] LOVE'S CURFEW. 25 
 
 " You are not looking your best ! " she said 
 with an anxious glance. "In fact, I think you 
 look more of an invalid than when you left us. 
 I very much doubt if London agrees with you ? " 
 
 "It may be the London air," I said, " or it 
 
 may be the hard work or my rather lonely 
 
 life : anyhow, I've not been feeling very well, 
 lately. But Elveston will soon set me up 
 
 again. Arthur's prescription he's my doctor, 
 
 you know, and I heard from him this morn- 
 ing is ' plenty of ozone, and new milk, and 
 
 pleasant society : ! " 
 
 " Pleasant society ? " said Lady Muriel, with 
 a pretty make-believe of considering the 
 question. " Well, really I don't know where 
 we can find that for you ! We have so few 
 neighbours. But new milk we can manage. Do 
 get it of my old friend Mrs. Hunter, up there, 
 on the hill-side. You may rely upon the 
 quality. And her little Bessie comes to school 
 every day, and passes your lodgings. So it 
 would be very easy to send it." 
 
 " I'll follow your advice, with pleasure," I 
 said ; " and I'll go and arrange about it to- 
 morrow. I know Arthur will want a walk."
 
 26 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " You'll find it quite an easy walk under 
 
 three miles, I think." 
 
 " Well, now that we've settled that point, let 
 me retort your own remark upon yourself. I 
 don't think you re looking quite your best ! " 
 
 " I daresay not," she replied in a low voice ; 
 and a sudden shadow seemed to overspread her 
 face. " I've had some troubles lately. It's a 
 matter about which I've been long wishing to 
 consult you, but I couldn't easily write about 
 it. I'm so glad to have this opportunity ! " 
 
 " Do you think," she began again, after a 
 minute's silence, and with a visible embarrass- 
 ment of manner most unusual in her, " that 
 a promise, deliberately and solemnly given, is 
 
 always binding except, of course, where its 
 
 fulfilment would involve some actual sin ? " 
 
 " I ca'n't think of any other exception at this 
 moment," I said. " That branch of casuistry 
 is usually, I believe, treated as a question of 
 truth and untruth 
 
 "Surely that is the principle?" she eagerly 
 interrupted. " I always thought the Bible- 
 teaching about it consisted of such texts as 
 ' lie not one to another ' ? "
 
 ll] LOVE'S CURFEW. 27 
 
 " I have thought about that point," I re- 
 plied ; " and it seems to me that the essence of 
 lying\s the intention of deceiving. If you give 
 a promise, fully intending to fulfil it, you are 
 certainly acting truthfully then; and, if you 
 afterwards break it, that does not involve 
 any deception. I cannot call it untruthful" 
 
 Another pause of silence ensued. Lady 
 Muriel's face was hard to read : she looked 
 pleased, I thought, but also puzzled ; and I 
 felt curious to know whether her question 
 had, as I began to suspect, some bearing on 
 the breaking off of her engagement with 
 Captain (now Major) Lindon. 
 
 " You have relieved me from a great fear," 
 she said ; " but the thing is of course wrong, 
 somehow. What texts would you quote, to 
 prove it wrong ? " 
 
 "Any that enforce the payment of debts. 
 If A promises something to B, B has a claim 
 upon A. And A's sin, if he breaks his 
 promise, seems to me more analogous to 
 stealing than to lying." 
 
 " It's a new way of looking at it to me," 
 
 she said ; "but it seems a true way, also.
 
 28 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 However, I won't deal in generalities, with 
 an old friend like you ! For we are old 
 friends, somehow. Do you know, I think we 
 began as old friends ? " she said with a play- 
 fulness of tone that ill accorded with the tears 
 that glistened in her eyes. 
 
 " Thank you very much for saying so," I 
 replied. " I like to think of you as an old 
 
 friend," ( <{ though you don't look it ! " would 
 
 have been the almost necessary sequence, with 
 any other lady ; but she and I seemed to have 
 long passed out of the time when compliments, 
 or any such trivialities, were possible.) 
 
 Here the train paused at a station, where 
 two or three passengers entered the carriage ; 
 so no more was said till we had reached our 
 journey's end. 
 
 On our arrival at Elveston, she readily 
 adopted my suggestion that we should walk 
 up together ; so, as soon as our luggage had 
 been duly taken charge of hers by the ser- 
 vant who met her at the station, and mine by 
 
 one of the porters we set out together along 
 
 the familiar lanes, now linked in my memory 
 with so many delightful associations. Lady
 
 n] LOVE'S CURFEW. 29 
 
 Muriel at once recommenced the conversation 
 at the point where it had been interrupted. 
 
 "You knew of my engagement to my 
 cousin Eric. Did you also hear 
 
 " Yes," I interrupted, anxious to spare her 
 the pain of giving any details. " I heard it 
 had all come to an end." 
 
 " I would like to tell you how it happened," 
 she said ; "as that is the very point I want 
 your advice about. I had long realised that 
 we were not in sympathy in religious belief. 
 His ideas of Christianity are very shadowy; 
 and even as to the existence of a God he lives 
 in a sort of dreamland. But it has not affected 
 his life ! I feel sure, now, that the most abso- 
 lute Atheist may be leading, though walking 
 blindfold, a pure and noble life. And if you 
 knew half the good deeds " she broke off 
 suddenly, and turned away her head. 
 
 " I entirely agree with you," I said. " And 
 have we not our Saviour's own promise that 
 such a life shall surely lead to the light ? " 
 
 " Yes, I know it," she said in a broken voice, 
 still keeping her head turned away. "And so 
 I told him. He said he would believe, for my
 
 30 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED 
 
 sake, if he could. And he wished, for my sake, 
 he could see things as I did. But that is all 
 wrong ! " she went on passionately. " God 
 cannot approve such low motives as that ! 
 Still it was not / that broke it off. I knew 
 he loved me ; and I had promised ; and 
 "Then it was he that broke it off?" 
 " He released me unconditionally." She 
 faced me again now, having quite recovered 
 her usual calmness of manner. 
 
 " Then what difficulty remains ? " 
 " It is this, that I don't believe he did it of 
 his own free will. Now, supposing he did it 
 against his will, merely to satisfy my scruples, 
 would not his claim on me remain just as 
 strong as ever ? And would not my promise 
 be as binding as ever ? My father says 
 ' no ' ; but I ca'n't help fearing he is biased 
 by his love for me. And I've asked no one 
 
 else. I have many friends friends for the 
 
 bright sunny weather ; not friends for the 
 clouds and storms of life ; not old friends 
 like you ! " 
 
 " Let me think a little," I said : and for 
 some minutes we walked on in silence, while
 
 ii] LOVE'S CURFEW. 31 
 
 pained to the heart at seeing the bitter trial 
 that had come upon this pure and gentle soul, 
 I strove in vain to see my way through the 
 tangled skein of conflicting motives. 
 
 "If she loves him truly," (I seemed at last 
 to grasp the clue to the problem) " is not that, 
 for her, the voice of God ? May she not hope 
 that she is sent to him, even as Ananias was 
 sent to Saul in his blindness, that he may re- 
 ceive his sight ? " Once more I seemed to 
 hear Arthur whispering " What knowest thou, 
 O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband ? " 
 and I broke the silence with the words " If 
 you still love him truly 
 
 "I do not!" she hastily interrupted. "At 
 
 least not in that way. I believe I loved him 
 
 when I promised ; but I was very young : it 
 is % hard to know. But, whatever the feeling 
 was, it is dead now. The motive on his side 
 is Love : on mine it is Duty ! " 
 
 Again there was a long silence. The whole 
 skein of thought was tangled worse than ever. 
 This time she broke the silence. " Don't mis- 
 understand me ! " she said. " When I said my 
 heart was not his, I did not mean it was any
 
 32 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 one else's ! At present I feel bound to him ; 
 and, till I know I am absolutely free, in the 
 sight of God, to love any other than him, 
 
 I'll never even think of any one else in 
 
 that way, I mean. I would die sooner ! " I 
 had never imagined my gentle friend capable 
 of such passionate utterances. 
 
 I ventured on no further remark until we 
 had nearly arrived at the Hall-gate ; but, the 
 longer I reflected, the clearer it became 
 to me that no call of Duty demanded the 
 
 sacrifice possibly of the happiness of a life 
 
 which she seemed ready to make. I tried 
 
 to make this clear to her also, adding some 
 warnings on the dangers that surely awaited 
 a union in which mutual love was wanting. 
 " The only argument for it, worth consider- 
 ing," I said in conclusion, " seems to be his 
 supposed reluctance in releasing you from 
 your promise. I have tried to give to that 
 argument its full weight, and my conclusion 
 is that it does not affect the rights of the 
 case, or invalidate the release he has given 
 you. My belief is that you are entirely free 
 to act as now seems right."
 
 II] LOVE'S CURFEW. 33 
 
 " I am very grateful to you," she said 
 earnestly. " Believe it, please ! I ca'n't put 
 it into proper words ! " and the subject was 
 dropped by mutual consent : and I only 
 learned, long afterwards, that our discussion 
 had really served to dispel the doubts that 
 had harassed her so long. 
 
 We parted at the Hall-gate, and I found 
 Arthur eagerly awaiting my arrival ; and, before 
 we parted for the night, I had heard the whole 
 
 story how he had put off his journey from 
 
 day to day, feeling that he could not go away 
 from the place till his fate had been irrevocably 
 settled by the wedding taking place : how the 
 preparations for the wedding, and the excite- 
 ment in the neighbourhood, had suddenly come 
 to an end, and he had learned (from Major 
 Lindon, who called to wish him good-bye) that 
 the engagement had been broken off by mutual 
 consent : how he had instantly abandoned all 
 his plans for going abroad, and had decided to 
 stay on at Elveston, for a year or two at any 
 rate, till his newly-awakened hopes should 
 prove true or false ; and how, since that 
 memorable day, he had avoided all meetings 
 
 D
 
 34 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 with Lady Muriel, fearing to betray his 
 feelings before he had had any sufficient 
 evidence as to how she regarded him. " But 
 it is nearly six weeks since all that happened," 
 he said in conclusion, " and we can meet in the 
 ordinary way, now, with no need for any painful 
 allusions. I would have written to tell you all 
 this : only I kept hoping from day to day, 
 that that there would be more to tell ! " 
 
 " And how should there be more, you foolish 
 fellow," I fondly urged, " if you never even go 
 near her ? Do you expect the offer to come 
 from her ? " 
 
 Arthur was betrayed into a smile. " No," 
 he said, " I hardly expect that. But I'm a 
 desperate coward. There's no doubt about it ! " 
 
 " And what reasons have you heard of for 
 breaking off the engagement ? " 
 
 "A good many," Arthur replied, and pro- 
 ceeded to count them on his fingers. "First, it 
 
 was found that she was dying of something ; 
 
 so he broke it off. Then it was found that he 
 
 was dying of some other thing ; so she broke 
 
 it off. Then the Major turned out to be a 
 confirmed gamester ; so the Earl broke it off.
 
 n] LOVE'S CURFEW. 35 
 
 Then the Earl insulted him ; so the Major 
 broke it off. It got a good deal broken off, all 
 things considered ! " 
 
 " You have all this on the very best authority, 
 of course ? " 
 
 " Oh, certainly ! And communicated in the 
 strictest confidence ! Whatever defects Elves- 
 ton society suffers from, want of information 
 isn't one of them ! " 
 
 "Nor reticence, either, it seems. But, se- 
 riously, do you know the real reason ? " 
 
 " No, I'm quite in the dark." 
 
 I did not feel that I had any right to 
 enlighten him ; so I changed the subject, to the 
 less engrossing one of " new milk," and we 
 agreed that I should walk over, next day, to 
 Hunter's farm, Arthur undertaking to set me 
 part of the way, after which he had to return 
 to keep a business-engagement. 
 
 D 2
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 STREAKS OF DAWN. 
 
 NEXT day proved warm and sunny, and we 
 started early, to enjoy the luxury of a good long 
 chat before he would be obliged to leave me. 
 
 " This neighbourhood has more than its due 
 proportion of the very poor," I remarked, as 
 we passed a group of hovels, too dilapidated 
 to deserve the name of "cottages." 
 
 " But the few rich," Arthur replied, " give 
 more than their due proportion of help in 
 charity. So the balance is kept." 
 
 " I suppose the Earl does a good deal ? " 
 
 " He gives liberally ; but he has not the 
 health or strength to do more. Lady Muriel
 
 in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 37 
 
 does more in the way of school-teaching and 
 cottage-visiting than she would like me to 
 reveal." 
 
 " Then she, at least, is not one of the ' idle 
 mouths ' one so often meets with among the 
 upper classes. I have sometimes thought they 
 would have a hard time of it, if suddenly 
 called on to give their raison detre, and to 
 show cause why they should be allowed to 
 live any longer ! " 
 
 " The whole subject," said Arthur, " of what 
 we may call 'idle mouths' (I mean persons 
 who absorb some of the material wealth of a 
 
 community -in the form of food, clothes, and 
 
 so on without contributing its equivalent in 
 
 the form of productive labour] is a compli- 
 cated one, no doubt. I've tried to think it 
 out. And it seemed to me that the simplest 
 form of the problem, to start with, is a com- 
 munity without money, who buy and sell by 
 barter only ; and it makes it yet simpler to 
 suppose the food and other things to be capable 
 of keeping for many years without spoiling." 
 
 " Yours is an excellent plan," I said. " What 
 is your solution of the problem ? "
 
 38 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "The commonest type of 'idle mouths,'' 
 said Arthur, "is no doubt due to money being 
 left by parents to their own children. So I 
 
 imagined a man either exceptionally clever, 
 
 or exceptionally strong and industrious 
 who had contributed so much valuable labour 
 to the needs of the community that its equiv- 
 alent, in clothes, &c., was (say) five times as 
 much as he needed for himself. We cannot 
 deny his absolute right to give the superfluous 
 wealth as he chooses. So, if he leaves four 
 children behind him (say two sons and two 
 daughters), with enough of all the necessaries 
 of life to last them a life-time, I cannot see 
 that the community is in any way wronged if 
 they choose to do nothing in life but to ' eat, 
 drink, and be merry.' Most certainly, the 
 community could not fairly say, in reference to 
 them, ' if a man will not work, neither let htm 
 eat." Their reply would be crushing. 'The 
 labour has already been done, which is a fair 
 equivalent for the food we are eating ; and 
 you have had the benefit of it. On what 
 principle of justice can you demand two quotas 
 of work for one quota of food ? '
 
 in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 39 
 
 " Yet surely," I said, " there is something 
 wrong somewhere, if these four people are well 
 able to do useful work, and if that work is 
 actually needed by the community, and they 
 elect to sit idle ? " 
 
 " I think there is" said Arthur : "but it 
 seems to me to arise from a Law of God- 
 that every one shall do as much as he can 
 
 to help others and not from any rights, on 
 
 the part of the community, to exact labour as 
 an equivalent for food that has already been 
 fairly earned." 
 
 " I suppose the second form of the problem 
 is where the ' idle mouths ' possess money in- 
 stead of material wealth ? " 
 
 "Yes," replied Arthur: "and I think the 
 simplest case is that of paper- money. Gold 
 is itself a form of material wealth ; but a bank- 
 note is merely a promise to hand over so 
 much material wealth when called upon to do 
 so. The father of these four 'idle mouths,' 
 had done (let us say) five thousand pounds' 
 worth of useful work for the community. In 
 return for this, the community had given him 
 what amounted to a written promise to hand
 
 40 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 over, whenever called upon to do so, five 
 thousand pounds' worth of food, &c. Then, 
 if he only uses one thousand pounds' worth 
 himself, and leaves the rest of the notes to his 
 children, surely they have a full right to pre- 
 sent these written promises, and to say ' hand 
 over the food, for which the equivalent labour 
 has been already done.' Now I think this 
 case well worth stating, publicly and clearly. 
 I should like to drive it into the heads of 
 those Socialists who are priming our ignorant 
 paupers with such sentiments as ' Look at 
 them bloated haristocrats ! Doing not a stroke 
 o' work for theirselves, and living on the sweat 
 of our brows ! ' I should like to force them 
 to see that the money, which those ' haristo- 
 crats' are spending, represents so much labour 
 already done for the community, and whose 
 equivalent, in material wealth, is due from 
 the community" 
 
 " Might not the Socialists reply ' Much of 
 this money does not represent honest labour 
 at all. If you could trace it back, from owner 
 to owner, though you might begin with several 
 legitimate steps, such as gift, or bequeathing
 
 in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 41 
 
 by will, or ' value received,' you would soon 
 reach an owner who had no moral right to 
 it, but had got it by fraud or other crimes ; 
 and of course his successors in the line would 
 have no better right to it than he had." 
 
 " No doubt, no doubt," Arthur replied. 
 " But surely that involves the logical fallacy 
 of proving too much ? It is quite as applic- 
 able to material wealth, as it is to money. If 
 we once begin to go back beyond the fact 
 that the present owner of certain property 
 came by it honestly, and to ask whether any 
 previous owner, in past ages, got it by fraud, 
 would any property be secure ? " 
 
 After a minute's thought, I felt obliged to 
 admit the truth of this. 
 
 " My general conclusion," Arthur continued, 
 " from the mere standpoint of human rights, 
 
 man against man, was this that if some 
 
 wealthy ' idle mouth,' who has come by his 
 money in a lawful way, even though not one 
 atom of the labour it represents has been his 
 own doing, chooses to spend it on his own 
 needs, without contributing any labour to the 
 community from whom he buys his food and
 
 42 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 clothes, that community has no right to inter- 
 fere with him. But it's quite another thing, 
 when we come to consider' the divine law. 
 Measured by that standard, such a man is 
 undoubtedly doing wrong, if he fails to use, 
 for the good of those in need, the strength 
 or the skill, that God has given him. That 
 strength and skill do not belong to the com- 
 munity, to be paid to them as a debt: they 
 do not belong to the man himself, to be used 
 for his own enjoyment : they do belong to God, 
 to be used according to His will ; and we are 
 not left in doubt as to what that will is. ' Do 
 good, and lend, hoping for nothing again' ' 
 
 "Anyhow," I said, "an 'idle mouth' very 
 often gives away a great deal in charity." 
 
 "In so-called 'charity,'" he corrected me. 
 " Excuse me if I seem to speak uncharitably. 
 I would not dream of applying the term to 
 any individztal. But I would say, generally, 
 that a man who gratifies every fancy that 
 
 occurs to him denying himself in nothing 
 
 and merely gives to the poor some part, or 
 even all, of his superfluous wealth, is only 
 deceiving himself if he calls it charity.'"
 
 ill] STREAKS OF DAWN. 43 
 
 " But, even in giving away superfluous 
 wealth, he may be denying himself the miser's 
 pleasure in hoarding ? " 
 
 " I grant you that, gladly," said Arthur. 
 "Given that he kas that morbid craving, he 
 is doing a good deed in restraining it." 
 
 " But, even in spending on himself" I per- 
 sisted, " our typical rich man often does good, 
 by employing people who would otherwise be 
 out of work : and that is often better than 
 pauperising them by giving the money." 
 
 "I'm glad you've said that!" said Arthur. 
 " I would not like to quit the subject without 
 
 exposing the two fallacies of that statement 
 
 which have gone so long uncontradicted that 
 Society now accepts it as an axiom ! " 
 
 "What are they?" I said. "I don't even 
 see one, myself." 
 
 " One is merely the fallacy of ambiguity 
 the assumption that ' doing good' (that is, bene- 
 fiting somebody) is necessarily a good thing to 
 do (that is, a right thing). The other is the 
 assumption that, if one of two specified acts 
 is better than another, it is necessarily a good 
 act in itself. I should like to call this the
 
 44 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 fallacy of comparison meaning that it as- 
 sumes that what is comparatively good is 
 therefore positively good." 
 
 " Then what is your test of a good act ? " 
 
 " That it shall be our best'' Arthur con- 
 fidently replied. " And even then ' we are 
 unprofitable servants.' But let me illustrate 
 the two fallacies. Nothing illustrates a fal- 
 lacy so well as an extreme case, which fairly 
 comes under it. Suppose I find two children 
 drowning in a pond. I rush in, and save one 
 of the children, and then walk away, leaving 
 the other to drown. Clearly I have 'done good,' 
 in saving a child's life ? But . Again, 
 supposing I meet an inoffensive stranger, and 
 knock him down, and walk on. Clearly that 
 is 'better' than if I had proceeded to jump 
 upon him and break his ribs ? But 
 
 "Those ' buts ' are quite unanswerable," I 
 said. " But I should like an instance from 
 real life." 
 
 " Well, let us take one of those abomina- 
 tions of modern Society, a Charity- Bazaar. 
 
 It's an interesting question to think out how 
 
 much of the money, that reaches the object in
 
 ill] STREAKS OF DAWN. 45 
 
 view, is genuine charity ; and whether even 
 that is spent in the best way. But the subject 
 needs regular classification, and analysis, to 
 understand it properly." 
 
 " I should be glad to have it analysed," I 
 said : "it has often puzzled me." 
 
 "Well, if I am really not boring you. Let 
 us suppose our Charity- Bazaar to have been 
 organised to aid the funds of some Hospital : 
 and that A, B, C give their services in making 
 articles to sell, and in acting as salesmen, 
 while X, Y, Z buy the articles, and the money 
 so paid goes to the Hospital. 
 
 " There are two distinct species of such 
 Bazaars : one, where the payment exacted is 
 merely the market-value of the goods supplied, 
 that is, exactly what you would have to pay at 
 a shop : the other, where fancy-prices are 
 asked. We must take these separately. 
 
 "First, the 'market-value' case. Here A, 
 B, C are exactly in the same position as ordinary 
 shopkeepers ; the only difference being that 
 they give the proceeds to the Hospital. Prac- 
 tically, they are giving their skilled labour for 
 the benefit of the Hospital. This seems to
 
 46 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 me to be genuine charity. And I don't see 
 how they could use it better. But X, Y, Z, 
 are exactly in the same position as any 
 ordinary purchasers of goods. To talk of 
 ' charity ' in connection with their share of the 
 business, is sheer nonsense. Yet they are 
 very likely to do so. 
 
 "Secondly, the case of 'fancy-prices.' Here 
 I think the simplest plan is to divide the pay- 
 ment into two parts, the ' market-value ' and 
 the excess over that. The ' market-value ' 
 part is on the same footing as in the first case : 
 the excess is all we have to consider. Well, 
 A, B, C do not earn it ; so we may put them 
 out of the question : it is a gift, from X, Y, Z, 
 to the Hospital. And my opinion is that it is 
 not given in the best way : far better buy what 
 they choose to buy, and give what they choose 
 to give, as two separate transactions : then 
 there is some chance that their motive in giving 
 may be real charity, instead of a mixed 
 
 motive half charity, half self-pleasing. ' The 
 
 trail of the serpent is over it all.' And there- 
 fore it is that I hold all such spurious 
 ' Charities ' in utter abomination ! " He ended
 
 in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 47 
 
 with unusual energy, and savagely beheaded, 
 with his stick, a tall thistle at the road-side, 
 behind which I was startled to see Sylvie 
 and Bruno standing. I caught at his arm, 
 but too late to stop him. Whether the 
 stick reached them, or not, I could not feel 
 sure : at any rate they took not the smallest 
 notice of it, but smiled gaily, and nodded to 
 me ; and I saw at once that they were only 
 visible to me : the ' eerie ' influence had not 
 reached to Arthur. 
 
 "Why did you try to save it?" he said. 
 " Thafs not the wheedling Secretary of a 
 Charity-Bazaar! I only wish it were!" he 
 added grimly. 
 
 " Doos oo know, that stick went right froo 
 my head ! " said Bruno. (They had run round 
 to me by this time, and each had secured a 
 hand.) " Just under my chin ! I are glad I 
 aren't a thistle ! " 
 
 " Well, we've threshed that subject out, 
 anyhow !" Arthur resumed. "I'm afraid I've 
 been talking too much, for your patience and 
 for my strength. I must be turning soon. 
 This is about the end of my tether."
 
 48 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Take, O boatman, thrice thy fee ; 
 Take, I give it willingly ; 
 For, invisible to thee, 
 Spirits twain Jiave crossed ivitJi me ! " 
 
 I quoted, involuntarily. 
 
 " For utterly inappropriate and irrelevant 
 quotations," laughed Arthur, " you are 'ekalled 
 by few, and excelled by none ' ! " And we 
 strolled on. 
 
 As we passed the head of the lane that led 
 down to the beach, I noticed a single figure, 
 moving slowly along it, seawards. She was a 
 good way off, and had her back to us : but it 
 was Lady Muriel, unmistakably. Knowing 
 that Arthur had not seen her, as he had been 
 looking, in the other direction, at a gathering 
 rain-cloud, I made no remark, but tried to 
 think of some plausible pretext for sending 
 him back by the sea. 
 
 The opportunity instantly presented itself. 
 " I'm getting tired," he said. " I don't think 
 it would be prudent to go further. I had 
 better turn here. 
 
 I turned with him, for a few steps, and as 
 we again approached the head of the lane, I
 
 in] STREAKS OF DAWN. 49 
 
 said, as carelessly as I could, " Don't go back 
 by the road. It's too hot and dusty. Down 
 this lane, and along the beach, is nearly as 
 short ; and you'll get a breeze off the sea." 
 
 "Yes, I think I will," Arthur began ; but at 
 that moment we came into sight of Lady 
 Muriel, and he checked himself. " No, it's 
 too far round. Yet it certainly would be 
 
 cooler He stood, hesitating, looking 
 
 first one way and then the other a melan- 
 choly picture of utter infirmity of purpose ! 
 
 How long this humiliating scene would have 
 continued, if / had been the only external 
 influence, it is impossible to say ; for at this 
 moment Sylvie, with a swift decision worthy 
 of Napoleon himself, took the matter into 
 her own hands. " You go and drive her, up 
 this way," she said to Bruno. " I'll get him 
 along ! " And she took hold of the stick that 
 Arthur was carrying, and gently pulled him 
 down the lane. 
 
 He was totally unconscious that any will 
 but his own was acting on the stick, and 
 appeared to think it had taken a horizontal 
 position simply because he was pointing with 
 
 E
 
 50 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 it. "Are not those orchises under the hedge 
 there ? " he said. " I think that decides me. 
 I'll gather some as I go along." 
 
 Meanwhile Bruno had run on beyond Lady 
 Muriel, and, with much jumping about and shout- 
 ing (shouts audible to no one but Sylvie and 
 myself), much as if he were driving sheep, he 
 managed to turn her round and make her
 
 ill] STREAKS OF DAWN. 51 
 
 walk, with eyes demurely cast upon the ground, 
 in our direction. 
 
 The victory was ours ! And, since it was 
 evident that the lovers, thus urged together, 
 must meet in another minute, I turned and 
 walked on, hoping that Sylvie and Bruno 
 would follow my example, as I felt sure that 
 the fewer the spectators the better it would be 
 for Arthur and his good angel. 
 
 "And what sort of meeting was it?" I 
 wondered, as I paced dreamily on.
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 T^E DOG-KING. 
 
 " THEY shocked hands," said Bruno, who 
 was trotting at my side, in answer to the un- 
 spoken question. 
 
 " And they looked ever so pleased ! " Sylvie 
 added from the other side. 
 
 "Well, we must get on, now, as quick as we 
 can," I said. "If only I knew the best way to 
 Hunter's farm ! " 
 
 " They'll be sure to know in this cottage," 
 said Sylvie. 
 
 " Yes, I suppose they will. Bruno, would 
 you run in and ask ? "
 
 iv] THE DOG-KING. 53 
 
 Sylvie stopped him, laughingly, as he ran off. 
 "Wait a minute," she said. " I must make you 
 visible first, you know." 
 
 "And audible too, I suppose ? " I said, as she 
 took the jewel, that hung round her neck, and 
 waved it over his head, and touched his eyes 
 and lips with it. 
 
 " Yes," said Sylvie : " and once, do you know, 
 I made him audible, and forgot to make him 
 visible ! And he went to buy some sweeties in 
 a shop. And the man was so frightened ! A 
 voice seemed to come out of the air, ' Please, I 
 want two ounces of barley-sugar drops ! ' And 
 a shilling came bang down upon the counter ! 
 And the man said ' I ca'n't see you ! ' And 
 Bruno said ' It doosn't sinnify seeing me, so 
 long as oo can see the shilling!' But the man 
 said he never sold barley-sugar drops to people 
 
 he couldn't see. So we had to Now, Bruno, 
 
 you're ready ! " And away he trotted. 
 
 Sylvie spent the time, while we were waiting 
 for him, in making herself visible also. '' It's 
 rather awkward, you know," she explained to 
 me, "when we meet people, and they can see 
 one of us, and ca'n't see the other ! "
 
 54 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 In a minute or two Bruno returned, looking 
 rather disconsolate. " He'd got friends with 
 him, and he were cross ! " he said. " He asked 
 me who I were. And I said ' I'm Bruno : who 
 is these peoples ? ' And he said ' One's my 
 half-brother, and t'other's my half-sister : and I 
 don't want no more company ! Go along with 
 yer ! ' And I said 'I ca'n't go along wizout 
 mine self!' And I said ' Oo shouldn't have bits 
 of peoples lying about like that! It's welly 
 untidy ! ' And he said ' Oh, don't talk to me ! ' 
 And he pushted me outside ! And he shutted 
 the door ! " 
 
 " And you never asked where Hunter's farm 
 was ? " queried Sylvie. 
 
 " Hadn't room for any questions," said 
 Bruno. " The room were so crowded." 
 
 " Three people couldrit crowd a room," said 
 Sylvie. 
 
 "They did, though," Bruno persisted. "He 
 crowded it most. He's such a welly thick 
 man so as oo couldn't knock him down." 
 
 I failed to see the drift of Bruno's argument. 
 " Surely anybody could be knocked down," I 
 said : "thick or thin wouldn't matter."
 
 iv] THE DOG-KING. 55 
 
 " Oo couldn't knock him down," said Bruno. 
 " He's more wider than he's high : so, when 
 he's lying down, he's more higher than when 
 he's standing : so a-course oo couldn't knock 
 him down ! " 
 
 " Here's another cottage," I said: "/Y/ask 
 the way, this time." 
 
 There was no need to go in, this time, as the 
 woman was standing in the doorway, with a 
 baby in her arms, talking to a respectably 
 
 dressed man a farmer, as I guessed who 
 
 seemed to be on his way to the town. 
 
 and when there's drink to be had," he 
 was saying, " he's just the worst o' the lot, is 
 your Willie. So they tell me. He gets fairly 
 mad wi' it ! " 
 
 "I'd have given 'em the lie to their faces, a 
 twelvemonth back ! " the woman said in a 
 broken voice. " But a' canna noo ! A' canna 
 noo ! " She checked herself, on catching sight 
 of us, and hastily retreated into the house, 
 shutting the door after her. 
 
 " Perhaps you can tell me where Hunter's 
 farm is ? " I said to the man, as he turned away 
 from the house.
 
 56 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " I can that, Sir ! " he replied with a smile. 
 " I'm John Hunter hissel, at your sarvice. 
 
 It's nobbut half a mile further the only 
 
 house in sight, when you get round bend o' the 
 road yonder. You'll find my good woman 
 within, if so be you've business wi' her. Or 
 mebbe I'll do as well ? " 
 
 " Thanks," I said. " I want to order some 
 milk. Perhaps I had better arrange it with 
 your wife ? " 
 
 "Aye," said the man. "She minds all that. 
 
 Good day t'ye, Master and to your bonnie 
 
 childer, as well ! " And he trudged on. 
 
 " He should have said ' child', not ' childer ' '," 
 said Bruno. " Sylvie's not a childer ! " 
 
 " He meant both of us," said Sylvie. 
 
 " No, he didn't ! " Bruno persisted. " 'cause 
 he said ' bonnie ', oo know ! " 
 
 "Well, at any rate he looked at us both," 
 Sylvie maintained. 
 
 " Well, then he must have seen we're not 
 both bonnie!" Bruno retorted. " A-course I'm 
 much uglier than oo ! Didn't he mean Sylvie, 
 Mister Sir ? " he shouted over his shoulder, as 
 he ran off.
 
 iv] THE DOG-KING. 57 
 
 But there was no use in replying, as he had 
 already vanished round the bend of the road. 
 When we overtook him he was climbing a 
 gate, and was gazing earnestly into the field, 
 where a horse, a cow, and a kid were browsing 
 amicably together. " For its father, a Horse" 
 he murmured to himself. " For its mother, a 
 Cow. For their dear little child, a little Goat, 
 is the most curiousest thing I ever seen in my 
 world ! " 
 
 "Bruno's World!" I pondered. "Yes, I 
 suppose every child has a world of his own 
 and every man, too, for the matter of that. 
 I wonder if that's the cause for all the mis- 
 understanding there is in Life ? " 
 
 " That must be Hunter's farm ! " said Sylvie, 
 pointing to a house on the brow of the hill, led 
 up to by a cart-road. " There's no other farm 
 in sight, this way ; and you said we must be 
 nearly there by this time." 
 
 I had thought it, while Bruno was climbing 
 the gate, but I couldn't remember having said 
 it. However, Sylvie was evidently in the 
 right. " Get down, Bruno," I said, " and open 
 the gate for us."
 
 $8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "It's a good thing we's with oo, isnt it, 
 Mister Sir ? " said Bruno, as we entered the 
 field. " That big dog might have bited oo, if 
 oo'd been alone ! Oo needn't be /lightened 
 of it ! " he whispered, clinging tight to my hand 
 to encourage me. "It aren't fierce ! " 
 
 " Fierce ! " Sylvie scornfully echoed, as the 
 
 dog a magnificent Newfoundland that had 
 
 come galloping down the field to meet us, 
 began curveting round us, in gambols full of 
 graceful beauty, and welcoming us with short 
 joyful barks. " Fierce ! Why, it's as gentle 
 
 as a lamb ! It's why, Bruno, don't you 
 
 know it ? It's 
 
 " So it are ! " cried Bruno, rushing forwards 
 and throwing his arms round its neck. " Oh, 
 you dear dog !" And.it seemed as if the two 
 children would never have done hugging and 
 stroking it. 
 
 " And how ever did he get here? " said Bruno. 
 " Ask him, Sylvie. I doosn't know how." 
 
 And then began an eager talk in Doggee, 
 which of course was lost upon me ; and I could 
 only guess, when the beautiful creature, with 
 a sly glance at me, whispered something in
 
 iv] THE DOG-KING. 59 
 
 Sylvie's ear, that / was now the subject of con- 
 versation. Sylvie looked round laughingly. 
 
 "He asked me who you are," she explained. 
 "And I said 'He's out friend' And he said 
 ' What's his name ? ' And I said ' It's Mister 
 Sir: And he said 'Bosh!'" 
 
 " What is ' Bosh ! ' in Doggee ? " I enquired. 
 
 " It's the same as in English," said Sylvie. 
 " Only, when a dog says it, it's a sort of a 
 whisper, that's half a cough and half a bark. 
 Nero, say 'Bosh!'" 
 
 And Nero, who had now begun gamboling 
 round us again, said " Bosh ! " several times ; 
 and I found that Sylvie's description of the 
 sound was perfectly accurate. 
 
 " I wonder what's behind this long wall ? " 
 I said, as we walked on. 
 
 " It's the Orchard" Sylvie replied, after a 
 consultation with Nero. " See, there's a boy 
 getting down off the wall, at that far corner. 
 And now he's running away across the field. I 
 do believe he's been stealing the apples ! " 
 
 Bruno set off after him, but returned to us in 
 a few moments, as he had evidently no chance 
 of overtaking the young rascal.
 
 60 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " I couldn't catch him! " he said. " Iwiss 
 I'd started a little sooner. His pockets was 
 full of apples ! " 
 
 The Dog-King looked up at Sylvie, and 
 said something in Doggee. 
 
 " Why, of course you. can ! " Sylvie exclaimed. 
 "How stupid not to think of it ! Nero\\ hold 
 him for us, Bruno ! But I'd better make him 
 invisible, first." And she hastily got out the 
 Magic Jewel, and began waving it over Nero's 
 head, and down along his back. 
 
 " That'll do ! " cried Bruno, impatiently. 
 "After him, good Doggie!" 
 
 " Oh, Bruno ! " Sylvie exclaimed reproach- 
 fully. " You shouldn't have sent him off so 
 quick ! I hadn't done the tail ! " 
 
 Meanwhile Nero was coursing like a grey- 
 hound down the field : so at least I concluded 
 
 from all / could see of him the long feathery 
 
 tail, which floated like a meteor through the 
 
 air and in a very few seconds he had come 
 
 up with the little thief. 
 
 " He's got him safe, by one foot ! " cried 
 Sylvie, who was eagerly watching the chase. 
 14 Now there's no hurry, Bruno ! "
 
 iv] THE DOG-KING. 61 
 
 So we walked, quite leisurely, down the 
 field, to where the frightened lad stood. A 
 more curious sight I had seldom seen, in all 
 my ' eerie ' experiences. Every bit of him was 
 in violent action, except the left foot, which was 
 
 apparently glued to the ground there being 
 
 nothing visibly holding it : while, at some little 
 distance, the long feathery tail was waving 
 gracefully from side to side, showing that Nero, 
 at least, regarded the whole affair as nothing 
 but a magnificent game of play. 
 
 " What's the matter with you ? " I said, as 
 gravely as I could. 
 
 " Got the crahmp in me ahnkle ! " the thief 
 groaned in reply. " An' me fut's gone to 
 sleep ! " And he began to blubber aloud. 
 
 " Now, look here ! " Bruno said in a com- 
 manding tone, getting in front of him. " Oo've 
 got to give up those apples ! " 
 
 The lad glanced at me, but didn't seem 
 to reckon my interference as worth anything. 
 Then he glanced at Sylvie : she clearly didn't 
 count for very much, either. Then he took 
 courage. " It'll take a better man than any of 
 yer to get 'em ! " he retorted defiantly.
 
 62 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
 
 iv] THE DOG-KING. 63 
 
 Sylvie stooped and patted the invisible Nero. 
 " A little tighter ! " she whispered. And a sharp 
 yell from the ragged boy showed how promptly 
 the Dog- King had taken the hint. 
 
 " What's the matter now?" I said. "Is 
 your ankle worse ? " 
 
 " And it'll get worse, and worse, and worse,'' 
 Bruno solemnly assured him, " till oo gives 
 up those apples ! " 
 
 Apparently the thief was convinced of this 
 at last, and he sulkily began emptying his 
 pockets of the apples. The children watched 
 from a little distance, Bruno dancing with 
 delight at every fresh yell extracted from 
 Nero's terrified prisoner. 
 
 " That's all," the boy said at last. 
 
 "It isrit all ! " cried Bruno. " There's three 
 more in that pocket ! " 
 
 Another hint from Sylvie to the Dog- King 
 another sharp yell from the thief, now 
 
 convicted of lying also and the remaining 
 
 three apples were surrendered. 
 
 " Let him go, please," Sylvie said in Doggee, 
 and the lad limped away at a great pace, 
 stooping now and then to rub the ailing ankle,
 
 64 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
 
 iv] THE DOG-KING. 65 
 
 in fear, seemingly, that the ' crahmp ' might 
 attack it again. 
 
 Bruno ran back, with his booty, to the 
 orchard wall, and pitched the apples over it 
 one by one. " I's welly afraid some of them's 
 gone under the wrong trees ! " he panted, on 
 overtaking us again. 
 
 " The wrong trees ! " laughed Sylvie. " Trees 
 cant do wrong ! There's no such things as 
 wrong trees ! " 
 
 " Then there's no such things as right 
 trees, neither ! " cried Bruno. And Sylvie gave 
 up the point. 
 
 "Wait a minute, please!" she said to me. 
 "I must make Nero visible, you know!" 
 
 " No, please don't ! " cried Bruno, who had 
 by this time mounted on the Royal back, and 
 was twisting the Royal hair into a bridle. 
 " It'll be such fun to have him like this ! " 
 
 "Well, it does look funny," Sylvie admitted, 
 and led the way to the farm-house, where the 
 farmer's wife stood, evidently much perplexed 
 at the weird procession now approaching her. 
 " It's summat gone wrong wi' my spectacles, 
 I doubt ! " she murmured, as she took them
 
 66 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 off, and began diligently rubbing them with a 
 corner of her apron. 
 
 Meanwhile Sylvie had hastily pulled Bruno 
 down from his steed, and had just time to make 
 His Majesty wholly visible before the spectacles 
 were resumed. 
 
 All was natural, now ; but the good woman 
 still looked a little uneasy about it. " My 
 eyesight's getting bad," she said, "but I see 
 you now, my darlings ! You'll give me a kiss, 
 wo'n't you ? " 
 
 Bruno got behind me, in a moment : however 
 Sylvie put up her face, to be kissed, as repre- 
 sentative of both, and we all went in together. 
 

 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 MATILDA JANE. 
 
 " COME to me, my little gentleman,'' said 
 our hostess, lifting Bruno into her lap, "and 
 tell me everything." 
 
 " I ca'n't," said Bruno. " There wouldn't be 
 time. Besides, I don't know everything." 
 
 The good woman looked a little puzzled, 
 and turned to Sylvie for help. " Does he like 
 riding ? " she asked. 
 
 " Yes, I think so," Sylvie gently replied. 
 " He's just had a ride on JVero." 
 
 " Ah, Nero's a grand dog, isn't he ? Were 
 you ever outside a horse, my little man ? " 
 
 F 2
 
 68 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Always /" Bruno said with great decision. 
 " Never was inside one. Was oo ? " 
 
 Here I thought it well to interpose, and to 
 mention the business on which we had come, 
 and so relieved her, for a few minutes, from 
 Bruno's perplexing questions. 
 
 " And those dear children will like a bit of 
 cake, /'//warrant ! " said the farmer's hospitable 
 wife, when the business was concluded, as she 
 opened her cupboard, and brought out a cake. 
 "And don't you waste the crust, little gentle- 
 man ! " she added, as she handed a good slice 
 of it to Bruno. " You know what the poetry- 
 book says about wilful waste ?" 
 
 " No, I dont," said Bruno. " What doos he 
 say about it ? " 
 
 " Tell him, Bessie ! " And the mother looked 
 down, proudly and lovingly, on a rosy little 
 maiden, who had just crept shyly into the room, 
 and was leaning against her knee. " W T hat's 
 that your poetry-book says about wilful waste ? " 
 
 "For wilful waste makes woeful want" Bessie 
 recited, in an almost inaudible whisper: "and you 
 may live to say ' How much I wish 1 had the 
 crust that then I threw away / '
 
 v] MATILDA JANE. 69 
 
 " Now try if you can say it, my dear ! For 
 wilful 
 
 "For wifful siimfinoruvver " Bruno be- 
 gan, readily enough ; and then there came a 
 dead pause. " Ca'n't remember no more ! " 
 
 " Well, what do you learn from it, then ? You 
 can tell us that, at any rate ? " 
 
 Bruno ate a little more cake, and considered : 
 but the moral did not seem to him to be a very 
 obvious one. 
 
 "Always to Sylvie prompted him in 
 
 a whisper. 
 
 " Always to ' Bruno softly repeated : and 
 then, with sudden inspiration, " always to look 
 where it goes to ! " 
 
 " Where what goes to, darling ? " 
 
 " Why the crust, a course ! " said Bruno. 
 "Then, if I lived to say 'How much I wiss 
 
 I had the crust ' (and all that), I'd know 
 
 where I frew it to ! " 
 
 This new interpretation quite puzzled the 
 good woman. She returned to the subject of 
 'Bessie.' "Wouldn't you like to see Bessie's 
 doll, my dears ! Bessie, take the little lady and 
 gentleman to see Matilda Jane ! "
 
 70 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Bessie's shyness thawed away in a moment. 
 " Matilda Jane has just woke up," she stated, 
 confidentially, to Sylvie. " Wo'n't you help 
 me on with her frock ? Them strings is such 
 a bother to tie ! " 
 
 " I can tie strings," we heard, in Sylvie's 
 gentle voice, as the two little girls left the room 
 together. Bruno ignored the whole proceeding, 
 and strolled to the window, quite with the air of 
 a fashionable gentleman. Little girls, and dolls, 
 were not at all in his line. 
 
 And forthwith the fond mother proceeded to 
 tell me (as what mother is not ready to do ?) 
 of all Bessie's virtues (and vices too, for the 
 matter of that) and of the many fearful maladies 
 which, notwithstanding those ruddy cheeks and 
 that plump little figure, had nearly, time and 
 again, swept her from the face of the earth. 
 
 When the full stream of loving memories had 
 nearly run itself out, I began to question her 
 about the working men of that neighbourhood, 
 and specially the ' Willie.' whom we had heard 
 of at his cottage. "He was a good fellow 
 once," said my kind hostess : " but it's the drink 
 has ruined him ! Not that I'd rob them of the
 
 v] MATILDA JANE. 71 
 
 drink it's good for the most of them 
 
 but there's some as is too weak to stand 
 agin' temptations : it's a thousand pities, for 
 them, as they ever built the Golden Lion at 
 the corner there ! " 
 
 " The Golden Lion ? " I repeated. 
 
 " It's the new Public," my hostess explained. 
 " And it stands right in the way. and handy 
 for the workmen, as they come back from the 
 brickfields, as it might be to-day, with their 
 week's wages. A deal of money gets wasted 
 that way. And some of 'em gets drunk." 
 
 " If only they could have it in their own 
 houses " I mused, hardly knowing I had said 
 the words out loud. 
 
 " That's it ! " she eagerly exclaimed. It was 
 evidently a solution, of the problem, that she 
 had already thought out. "If only you could 
 manage, so's each man to have his own little 
 
 barrel in his own house there'd hardly be 
 
 a drunken man in the length and breadth of 
 the land ! " 
 
 And then I told her the old story about 
 
 a certain cottager who bought himself a little 
 barrel of beer, and installed his wife as bar-
 
 72 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 keeper : and how, every time he wanted his 
 mug of beer, he regularly paid her over the 
 counter for it : and how she never would let 
 him go on ' tick,' and was a perfectly inflexible 
 bar-keeper in never letting him have more than 
 his proper allowance : and how, every time the 
 barrel needed refilling, she had plenty to do it 
 with, and something over for her money-box : 
 and how, at the end of the year, he not 
 only found himself in first-rate health and spirits, 
 with that undefinable but quite unmistakeable 
 air which always distinguishes the sober man 
 from the one who takes ' a drop too much,' but 
 had quite a box full of money, all saved out of 
 his own pence ! 
 
 " If only they'd all do like that!" said the 
 good woman, wiping her eyes, which were over- 
 flowing with kindly sympathy. " Drink hadn't 
 need to be the curse it is to some 
 
 " Only a curse," I said, " when it is used 
 wrongly. Any of God's gifts may be turned 
 into a curse, unless we use it wisely. But 
 we must be getting home. Would you call the 
 little girls ? Matilda Jane has seen enough 
 of company, for one day, I'm sure ! "
 
 v] MATILDA JANE. 73 
 
 " I'll find 'em in a minute," said my hostess, 
 as she rose to leave the room. " Maybe that 
 young gentleman saw which way they went ? " 
 
 " Where are they, Bruno ?" I said. 
 
 " They ain't in the field," was Bruno's rather 
 evasive reply, " 'cause there's nothing but pigs 
 there, and Sylvie isn't a pig. Now don't 
 imperrupt me any more, 'cause I'm telling a 
 story to this fly ; and it won't attend ! " 
 
 "They're among the apples, I'll warrant 
 'em ! " said the Farmer's wife. So we left 
 Bruno to finish his story, and went out into the 
 orchard, where we soon came upon the children, 
 walking sedately side by side, Sylvie carrying 
 the doll, while little Bess carefully shaded, its 
 face, with a large cabbage-leaf for a parasol. 
 
 As soon as they caught sight of us, little Bess 
 dropped her cabbage-leaf and came running to 
 meet us, Sylvie following more slowly, as her 
 precious charge evidently needed great care 
 and attention. 
 
 " I'm its Mamma, and Sylvie's the Head- 
 Nurse," Bessie explained : "and Sylvie's taught 
 me ever such a pretty song, for me to sing to 
 Matilda Jane ! "
 
 74 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Let's hear it once more, Sylvie," I said, 
 delighted at getting the chance I had long 
 wished for, of hearing her sing. But Sylvie 
 turned shy and frightened in a moment. " No, 
 please not ! " she said, in an earnest ' aside ' to 
 me. " Bessie knows it quite perfect now. 
 Bessie can sing it ! " 
 
 " Aye, aye ! Let Bessie sing it ! " said the 
 proud mother. " Bessie has a bonny voice of 
 her own," (this again was an ' aside ' to me) 
 " though I say it as shouldn't ! " 
 
 Bessie was only too happy to accept the 
 ' encore.' So the plump little Mamma sat 
 down at our feet, with her hideous daughter 
 reclining stiffly across her lap (it was one of 
 a kind that wo'n't sit down, under any amount 
 of persuasion), and, with a face simply beaming 
 with delight, began the lullaby, in a shout that 
 ought to have frightened the poor baby into fits. 
 The Head-Nurse crouched down behind her, 
 keeping herself respectfully in the back-ground, 
 with her hands on the shoulders of her little 
 mistress, so as to be ready to act as Prompter, 
 if required, and to supply ' each gap in faithless 
 memory void'
 
 v] 
 
 MATILDA JANE. 
 
 75 
 
 The shout, with which she began, proved to 
 be only a momentary effort. After a very few 
 notes, Bessie toned down, and sang on in a 
 small but very sweet voice. At first her great 
 black eyes were fixed on her mother, but soon 
 her gaze wandered upwards, among the apples, 
 and she seemed to have quite forgotten that 
 she had any other audience than her Baby, and 
 her Head-Nurse, who once or twice supplied, 
 almost inaudibly, the right note, when the singer 
 was getting a little ' flat.'
 
 76 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "Matilda Jane, you never look 
 At any toy or picture-book : 
 I show you pretty things in vain 
 You must be blind, Matilda Jane ! 
 
 " / ask you riddles, tell you tales, 
 But all our conversation fails: 
 You never answer me again 
 / fear you're dumb, Matilda Jane ! 
 
 "Matilda, darling, when I call, 
 You never seem to hear at all: 
 I shout with all my migJit and main 
 But you're so deaf, Matilda Jane ! 
 
 "Matilda Jane, you needn't mind: 
 For, though you're deaf, and dumb, and blind, 
 There s some one loves you, it is plain- 
 And that is me, Matilda Jane ! " 
 
 She sang three of the verses in a rather per- 
 functory style, but the last stanza evidently 
 excited the little maiden. Her voice rose, ever 
 clearer and louder : she had a rapt look on her 
 face, as if suddenly inspired, and, as she sang 
 the last few words, she clasped to her heart 
 the inattentive Matilda Jane.
 
 v] MATILDA JANE. 77 
 
 " Kiss it now !" prompted the Head-Nurse. 
 And in a moment the simpering meaningless 
 face of the Baby was covered with a shower 
 of passionate kisses. 
 
 " What a bonny song ! " cried the Farmer's 
 wife. " Who made the words, dearie ? " 
 
 " I I think I'll look for Bruno," Sylvie 
 said demurely, and left us hastily. The curious 
 child seemed always afraid of being praised, or 
 even noticed. 
 
 " Sylvie planned the words," Bessie informed 
 us, proud of her superior information: "and 
 
 Bruno planned the music and / sang it ! ' 
 
 (this last circumstance, by the way, we did not 
 need to be told). 
 
 So we followed Sylvie, and all entered the 
 parlour together. Bruno was still standing at 
 the window, with his elbows on the sill. He 
 had, apparently, finished the story that he was 
 telling to the fly, and had found a new 
 occupation. "Don't imperrupt!" he said as 
 we came in. "I'm counting the Pigs in the 
 held ! " 
 
 " How many are there ? " I enquired. 
 
 " About a thousand and four," said Bruno.
 
 78 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " You mean ' about a thousand,' ' Sylvie 
 corrected him. " There's no good saying { and 
 four ' : you cant be sure about the four ! ' 
 
 "And you're as wrong as ever!" Bruno 
 exclaimed triumphantly. " It's just the four I 
 can be sure about ; 'cause they're here, grub-- 
 bling under the window! It's the thousand 
 I isn't pruffickly sure about ! " 
 
 " But some of them have gone into the 
 sty," Sylvie said, leaning over him to look out 
 of the window. 
 
 " Yes," said Bruno ; " but they went so slowly 
 and so fewly, I didn't care to count than" 
 
 "We must be going, children," I said. 
 "Wish Bessie good-bye." Sylvie flung her 
 arms round the little maiden's neck, and kissed 
 her : but Bruno stood aloof, looking unusually 
 shy. ("I never kiss nobody but Sylvie ! " he 
 explained to me afterwards.) The farmer's 
 wife showed us out : and we were soon on our 
 way back to Elveston. 
 
 " And that's the new public-house that we 
 were talking about, I suppose ? " I said, as 
 we came in sight of a long low building, with 
 the words ' THE GOLDEN LION ' over the door.
 
 v] MATILDA JANE. 79 
 
 "Yes, that's it," said Sylvie. "1 wonder if 
 her Willie's inside ? Run in, Bruno, and see 
 if he's there." 
 
 I interposed, feeling that Bruno was, in a 
 sort of way, in my care. "That's not a place 
 to send a child into." For already the revelers 
 were getting noisy : and a wild discord of 
 singing, shouting, and meaningless laughter 
 came to us through the open windows. 
 
 " They wo'n't see him, you know," Sylvie 
 explained. " Wait a minute, Bruno ! " She 
 clasped the jewel, that always hung round her 
 neck, between the palms of her hands, and 
 muttered a few words to herself. What they 
 were I could not at all make out, but some 
 mysterious change seemed instantly to pass 
 over us. My feet seemed to me no longer to 
 press the ground, and the dream-like feeling 
 came upon me, that I was suddenly endowed 
 with the power of floating in the air. I could 
 still just see the children : but their forms were 
 shadowy and unsubstantial, and their voices 
 sounded as if they came from some distant 
 place and time, they were so unreal. How- 
 ever, I offered no further opposition to Bruno's
 
 8o SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 going into the house. He was back again in 
 a few moments. " No, he isn't come yet," he 
 said. " They're talking about him inside, and 
 saying how drunk he was last week," 
 
 While he was speaking, one of the men 
 lounged out through the door, a pipe in one 
 hand and a mug of beer in the other, and 
 crossed to where we were standing, so as to 
 get a better view along the road. Two or 
 three others leaned out through the open 
 window, each holding his mug of beer, with 
 red faces and sleepy eyes. " Canst see him, 
 lad ? " one of them asked. 
 
 " I dunnot know," the man said, taking a 
 step forwards, which brought us nearly face 
 to face. Sylvie hastily pulled me out of his 
 way. " Thanks, child," I said. " I had for- 
 gotten he couldn't see us. What would have 
 happened if I had staid in his way ? " 
 
 " I don't know," Sylvie said gravely. "It 
 wouldn't matter to tts ; but you may be diffe- 
 rent." She said this in her usual voice, but 
 the man took no sort of notice, though she 
 was standing close in front of him, and looking 
 up into his face as she spoke.
 
 v] MATILDA JANE. Hi 
 
 " He's coming now ! " cried Bruno, pointing 
 down the road. 
 
 " He be a-coomin noo!" echoed the man, 
 stretching out his arm exactly over Bruno's 
 head, and pointing with his pipe. 
 
 " Then chorus agin ! " was shouted out by 
 one of the red-faced men in the window : and 
 forthwith a dozen voices yelled, to a harsh 
 discordant melody, the refrain : 
 
 " There's him, an' yo, an me, 
 
 Roariii laddies ! 
 We loves a bit d spree, 
 Roariri laddies we, 
 
 Roarirt laddies 
 Roarin' laddies ! " 
 
 The man lounged back again to the house, 
 joining lustily in the chorus as he went : so 
 that only the children and I .were in the road 
 when ' Willie ' came up.
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 WILLIE'S WIFE. 
 
 HE made for the door of the public-house, 
 but the children intercepted him. Sylvie clang 
 to one arm ; while Bruno, on the opposite 
 side, was pushing him with all his strength, 
 with many inarticulate cries of " Gee-up ! Gee- 
 back ! Woah then ! " which he had picked up 
 from the waggoners. 
 
 ' Willie ' took not the least notice of them : 
 he was simply conscious that something had 
 checked him : and, for want of any other way 
 of accounting for it, he seemed to regard it 
 as his own act.
 
 VI] 
 
 WILLIE'S WIFE. 
 
 ' I wunnut coom in," he said : " not to-day." 
 " A mug o' beer wunnut hurt 'ee ! " his 
 friends shouted in chorus. " Two mugs wunnut 
 hurt 'ee ! Nor a dozen mugs ! " 
 
 G 2
 
 84 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Nay," said Willie. " I'm agoan whoam." 
 
 " What, withouten thy drink, Willie man ? " 
 shouted the others. But ' Willie man ' would 
 have no more discussion, and turned doggedly 
 away, the children keeping one on each side of 
 him, to guard him against any change in his 
 sudden resolution. 
 
 For a while he walked on stoutly enough, 
 keeping his hands in his pockets, and softly 
 whistling a tune, in time to his heavy tread : 
 his success, in appearing entirely at his ease, 
 was almost complete ; but a careful observer 
 would have noted that he had forgotten the 
 second part of the air, and that, when it broke 
 down, he instantly began it. again, being too 
 nervous to think of another, and too restless 
 to endure silence. 
 
 It was not the old fear that possessed him 
 now the old fear, that had been his dreary 
 companion every Saturday night he could re- 
 member, as he had reeled along, steadying 
 himself against gates and garden-palings, and 
 when the shrill reproaches of his wife had 
 seemed to his dazed brain only the echo of a 
 yet more piercing voice within, the intolerable
 
 vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 85 
 
 wail of a hopeless remorse : it was a wholly 
 new fear that had come to him now : life had 
 taken on itself a new set of colours, and was 
 lighted up with a new and dazzling radiance, 
 and he did not see, as yet, how his home-life, 
 and his wife and child, would fit into the new 
 order of things : the very novelty of it all was, 
 to his simple mind, a perplexity and an over- 
 whelming terror. 
 
 And now the tune died into sudden silence 
 on the trembling lips, as he turned a sharp 
 corner, and came in sight of his own cottage, 
 where his wife stood, leaning with folded arms 
 on the wicket-gate, and looking up the road 
 with a pale face, that had in it no glimmer of 
 the light of hope only the heavy shadow of 
 a deep stony despair. 
 
 " Fine an' early, lad ! Fine an' early ! " The 
 words might have been words of welcoming, 
 but oh, the bitterness of the tone in which she 
 said it ! "What brings thee from thy merry 
 mates, and all the fiddling and the jigging ? 
 Pockets empty, I doubt ? Or thou'st come, 
 mebbe, for to see thy little one die ? The 
 bairnie's clemmed, and I've nor bite nor sup
 
 86 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 to gie her. But what does tkou care ? " She 
 flung the gate open, and met him with blazing 
 eyes of fury. 
 
 The man said no word. Slowly, and with 
 downcast eyes, he passed into the house, while 
 she, half terrified at his strange silence, followed 
 him in without another word ; and it was not 
 till he had sunk into a chair, with his arms 
 crossed on the table and with drooping head, 
 that she found her voice again. 
 
 It seemed entirely natural for us to go in 
 with them : at another time one would have 
 asked leave for this, but I felt, I knew not 
 why, that we were in some mysterious way 
 invisible, and as free to come and to go as 
 disembodied spirits. 
 
 The child in the cradle woke up, and raised 
 a piteous cry, which in a moment brought the 
 children to its side : ' Bruno rocked the cradle, 
 while Sylvie tenderly replaced the little head on 
 the pillow from which it had slipped. But the 
 mother took no heed of the cry, nor yet of the 
 satisfied ' coo ' that it set up when Sylvie had 
 made it happy again : she only stood gazing at 
 her husband, and vainly trying, with white
 
 vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 87 
 
 quivering lips (I believe she thought he was 
 mad), to speak in the old tones of shrill up- 
 braiding that he knew so well. 
 
 "And thou'st spent all thy wages I'll 
 
 swear thou hast on the devil's own drink 
 
 and thou'st been and made thysen a beast 
 again as thou allus dost 
 
 " Hasna ! " the man muttered, his voice hardly 
 rising above a whisper, as he slowly emptied 
 his pockets on the table. " There's th' wage, 
 Missus, every penny on't." 
 
 The woman gasped, and put. one hand to her 
 heart, as if under some great shock of surprise. 
 " Then how 's thee gotten th' drink ? " 
 
 " Hasna gotten it," he answered her, in a 
 tone more sad than sullen. " I hanna touched 
 a drop this blessed day. No ! " he cried aloud, 
 bringing, his clenched fist heavily down upon 
 the table, and looking up at her with gleaming 
 eyes, "nor I'll never touch another drop o' the 
 
 cursed drink till 1 die so help me God 
 
 my Maker!" His voice, which had suddenly 
 risen to a hoarse shout, dropped again as 
 suddenly : and once more he bowed his head, 
 and buried his face in his folded arms.
 
 88 
 
 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
 
 vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 89 
 
 The woman had dropped upon her knees by 
 the cradle, while he was speaking. She neither 
 looked at him nor seemed to hear him. With 
 hands clasped above her head, she rocked her- 
 self wildly to and fro. " Oh my God ! Oh my 
 God ! " was all she said, over and over again. 
 
 Sylvie and Bruno gently unclasped her hands 
 
 and drew them down till she had an arm 
 
 round each of them, though she took no notice 
 of them, but knelt on with eyes gazing upwards, 
 and lips that moved as if in silent thanksgiving. 
 The man kept his face hidden, and uttered no 
 sound : but one could see the sobs that shook 
 him from head to foot. 
 
 After a while he raised his head his face 
 all wet with tears. " Polly ! " he said softly ; 
 and then, louder, " Old Poll ! " 
 
 Then she rose from her knees and came to 
 him, with a dazed look, as if she were walk- 
 ing in her sleep. " Who was it called me 
 old Poll ? " she asked : her voice took on it a 
 tender playfulness : her eyes sparkled ; and 
 the rosy light of Youth flushed her pale cheeks, 
 till she looked more like a happy girl of seven- 
 teen than a worn woman of forty. " Was
 
 90 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 that my own lad, my Willie, a- waiting for me 
 at the stile ? " 
 
 His face too was transformed, in the same 
 magic light, to the likeness of a bashful boy : 
 and boy and girl they seemed, as he wound 
 an arm about her, and drew her to his side, 
 while with the other hand he thrust from him 
 the heap of money, as though it were something 
 hateful to the touch. " Tak it, lass," he said, 
 "tak it all! An' fetch us summat to eat : but 
 get a sup o' milk, first, for t' bairn/' 
 
 " My little bairn ! " she murmured as she 
 gathered up the coins. " My own little lassie !" 
 Then she moved to the door, and was passing 
 out, but a sudden thought seemed to arrest 
 
 her : she hastily returned first to kneel down 
 
 and kiss the sleeping child, and then to throw 
 herself into her husband's arms and be strained 
 to his heart. The next moment she was on 
 her way, taking with her a jug that hung on 
 a peg near the door : we followed close behind. 
 We had not gone far before we came in sight 
 of a swinging sign-board bearing the word 
 ' DAIRY ' on it, and here she went in, welcomed 
 by a little curly white dog, who, not being
 
 vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 91 
 
 under the ' eerie ' influence, saw the children, 
 and received them with the most effusive affec- 
 tion. When I got inside, the dairyman was in 
 the act of taking the money. " Is't for thysen, 
 Missus, or for t' bairn ? " he asked, when he had 
 filled the jug, pausing with it in his hand. 
 
 "For t' bairn!" she said, almost reproach- 
 fully. " Think'st tha I'd touch a drop my sen, 
 while as she hadna got her fill ? " 
 
 "All right, Missus," the man replied, turning 
 away with the jug in his hand. " Let's just 
 rnak sure it's good measure." He went back 
 among his shelves of milk-bowls, carefully keep- 
 ing his back towards her while he emptied a 
 little measure of cream into the jug, muttering 
 to himself "mebbe it'll hearten her up a bit, 
 the little lassie ! " 
 
 The woman never noticed the kind deed, 
 but took back the jug with a simple " Good 
 evening, Master," and went her way : but the 
 children had been more observant, and, as 
 we followed her out, Bruno remarked " That 
 were welly kind : and I loves that man : and 
 if I was welly rich I'd give him a hundred 
 pounds and a bun. That little grurnmeling
 
 92 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 dog doosn't know its business ! '' He referred 
 to the dairyman's little dog, who had apparently 
 quite forgotten the affectionate welcome he had 
 given us on our arrival, and was now follow- 
 ing at a respectful distance, doing his best to 
 ' speed the parting guest ' with a shower of 
 little shrill barks, that seemed to tread on one 
 another's heels. 
 
 " What is a. dog's business ? " laughed Sylvie. 
 " Dogs ca'n't keep shops and give change ! " 
 
 " Sisters' businesses isrit to laugh at their 
 brothers," Bruno replied with perfect gravity. 
 
 "And dogs' businesses is to bark not like 
 
 that : it should finish one bark before it begins 
 
 another : and it should Oh Sylvie, there's 
 
 some dindledums ! " 
 
 And in another moment the happy children 
 were flying across the common, racing for the 
 patch of dandelions. 
 
 While I stood watching them, a strange 
 dreamy feeling came upon me : a railway-plat- 
 form seemed to take the place of the green 
 sward, and, instead of the light figure of Sylvie 
 bounding along, I seemed to see the flying 
 form of Lady Muriel ; but whether Bruno
 
 vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 93 
 
 had also undergone a transformation, and had 
 become the old man whom she was running to 
 overtake, I was unable to judge, so instan- 
 taneously did the feeling come and go. 
 
 When I re-entered the little sitting-room 
 which I shared with Arthur, he was standing 
 with his back to me, looking out of the open 
 window, and evidently had not heard me enter. 
 A cup of tea, apparently just tasted and pushed 
 aside, stood on the table, on the opposite side of 
 which was a letter, just begun, with the pen 
 lying across it : an open book lay on the sofa : 
 the London paper occupied the easy chair ; and 
 on the little table, which stood by it, I noticed 
 an unlighted cigar and an open box of cigar- 
 lights : all things betokened that the Doctor, 
 usually so methodical and so self-contained, had 
 been trying every form of occupation, and could 
 settle to none ! 
 
 "This is very unlike you, Doctor!" I was 
 beginning, but checked myself, as he turned at 
 the sound of my voice, in sheer amazement at 
 the wonderful change that had taken place in 
 his appearance. Never had I seen a face so 
 radiant with happiness, or eyes that sparkled
 
 94 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 with such unearthly light! "Even thus," I 
 thought, " must the herald-angel have looked, 
 who brought to the shepherds, watching over 
 their flocks by night, that sweet message of 
 ' peace on earth, good-will to men' /" 
 
 " Yes, dear friend ! " he said, as if in answer 
 to the question that I suppose he read in my 
 face. " It is true ! It is true ! " 
 
 No need to ask what was true. " God bless 
 you both ! " I said, as I felt the happy tears 
 brimming to my eyes. "You were made for 
 each other ! " 
 
 " Yes," he said, simply, " I believe we were. 
 And what a change it makes in one's Life ! 
 This isn't the same world ! That isn't the sky 
 
 I saw yesterday ! Those clouds 1 never 
 
 saw such clouds in all my life before ! They 
 look like troops of hovering angels ! " 
 
 To me they looked very ordinary clouds 
 indeed : but then / had not fed ' on honey- 
 dew, And drunk the milk of Paradise ' ! 
 
 " She wants to see you at once," he 
 
 continued, descending suddenly to the things 
 of earth. "She says that is the one drop yet 
 wanting in her cup of happiness ! "
 
 vi] WILLIE'S WIFE. 95 
 
 " I'll go at once," I said, as I turned to leave 
 the room. " Wo'n't you come with me ? " 
 
 " No, Sir ! " said the Doctor, with a sudden 
 
 effort which proved an utter failure to 
 
 resume his professional manner. " Do I look 
 like coming with you ? Have you never heard 
 
 that two is company, and " 
 
 'Yes," I said, " I have heard it: and I'm 
 painfully aware that / am Number Three ! But, 
 when shall we three meet again ? " 
 
 " When the hurly-burly s done / " he answered 
 with a happy laugh, such as I had not heard 
 from him for many a year.
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 MEIN HERR. 
 
 So I went on my lonely way, and, on reach- 
 ing the Hall, I found Lady Muriel standing at 
 the garden-gate waiting for me. 
 
 " No need to give you joy, or to wish you 
 joy ? " I began. 
 
 "None whatever!" she replied, with the 
 joyous laugh of a child. " We give people what 
 they haven't got : we wish for something that 
 is yet to come. For me, it's all here! It's all 
 mine I Dear friend," she suddenly broke off, 
 "do you think Heaven ever begins on Earth, 
 for any of us ? "
 
 vii] MEIN HERR. 97 
 
 " For some ," I said. " For some, perhaps, who 
 are simple and childlike. You know He said 
 ' of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.' ' 
 
 Lady Muriel clasped her hands, and gazed up 
 into the cloudless sky, with a look I had often 
 seen in Sylvie's eyes. " I feel as if it had begun 
 for me" she almost whispered. " I feel as if / 
 were one of the happy children, whom He bid 
 them bring near to Him, though the people 
 would have kept them back. Yes, He has seen 
 me in the throng. He has read the wistful 
 longing in my eyes. He has beckoned me to 
 Him. They have had to make way for me. 
 He has taken me up in His arms. He has put 
 His hands upon me and blessed me!" She 
 paused, breathless in her perfect happiness. 
 
 " Yes," I said. " I think He has ! " 
 
 " You must come and speak to my father," 
 she went on, as we stood side by side at the 
 gate, looking down the shady lane. But, even 
 as she said the words, the ' eerie ' sensation 
 came over me like a flood : I saw the dear 
 old Professor approaching us, and also saw, 
 what was stranger still, that he was visible to 
 Lady Muriel ! 
 
 H
 
 98 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 What was to be done ? Had the fairy-life 
 been merged in the real life ? Or was Lady 
 Muriel ' eerie ' also, and thus able to enter into 
 the fairy-world along with me ? The words 
 were on my lips (" I see an old friend of mine 
 in the lane : if you don't know him, may I 
 introduce him to you ? ") when the strangest 
 thing of all happened : Lady Muriel spoke. 
 
 " I see an old friend of mine in the lane," 
 she said : " if you don't know him, may I 
 introduce him to you ? " 
 
 I seemed to wake out of a dream : for the 
 ' eerie ' feeling was still strong upon me, and 
 the figure outside seemed to be changing at 
 every moment, like one of the shapes in a 
 kaleidoscope : now he was the Professor, and 
 now he was somebody else ! By the time he 
 had reached the gate, he certainly was some- 
 body else : and I felt that the proper course 
 was for Lady Muriel, not for me, to introduce 
 him. She greeted him kindly, and, opening 
 the gate, admitted the venerable old man 
 
 a German, obviously who looked about him 
 
 with dazed eyes, as if he, too, had but just 
 awaked from a dream !
 
 vn] MEIN HERR. 99 
 
 No, it was certainly not the Professor ! My 
 old friend coiild not have grown that mag- 
 nificent beard since last we met : moreover, he 
 would have recognised me, for I was certain 
 that / had not changed much in the time. 
 
 As it was, he simply looked at me vaguely, 
 and took off his hat in response to Lady 
 Muriel's words " Let me introduce Mein Herr 
 to you " ; while in the words, spoken in a 
 strong German accent, "proud to make your 
 acquaintance, Sir ! " I could detect no trace 
 of an idea that we had ever met before. 
 
 Lady Muriel led us to the well-known shady 
 nook, where preparations for afternoon- tea had 
 already been made, and, while she went in to 
 look for the Earl, we seated ourselves in two 
 easy-chairs, and 'Mein Herr' took up Lady 
 Muriel's work, and examined it through his 
 large spectacles (one of the adjuncts that 
 made him so provokingly like the Professor). 
 "Hemming pocket-handkerchiefs?" he said, 
 musingly. " So that is what the. English 
 miladies occupy themselves with, is it ? " 
 
 " It is the one accomplishment," I said, "in 
 which Man has never yet rivaled Woman ! " 
 
 H 2
 
 ioo SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Here Lady Muriel returned with her father ; 
 and, after he had exchanged some friendly 
 words with ' Mein Herr/ and we had all been 
 supplied with the needful ' creature-comforts,' 
 the newcomer returned to the suggestive sub- 
 ject of Pocket-handkerchiefs. 
 
 " You have heard of Fortunatus's Purse, 
 Miladi ? Ah, so ! Would you be surprised 
 to hear that, with three of these leetle hand- 
 kerchiefs, you shall make the Purse of Fortu- 
 natus, quite soon, quite easily ? " 
 
 "Shall I indeed?" Lady Muriel eagerly 
 replied, as she took a heap of them into her 
 lap, and threaded her needle. " Please tell 
 me how, Mein Herr! I'll make one before 
 I touch another drop of tea ! f> 
 
 " You shall first," said Mein Herr, possessing 
 himself of two of the handkerchiefs, spreading 
 one upon the other, and holding them up by 
 two corners, " you shall first join together 
 these upper corners, the right to the right, 
 the left to the left ; and the opening between 
 them shall be the mouth of the Purse." 
 
 A very few stitches sufficed to carry out this 
 direction. "Now, if I sew the other three
 
 vil] MEIN HERR. 101 
 
 edges together," she suggested, " the bag is 
 complete ? " 
 
 " Not so, Miladi : the lower edges shall first 
 
 be joined ah, not so ! " (as she was beginning 
 
 to sew them together). " Turn one of them 
 over, and join the right lower corner of the 
 one to the left lower corner of the other, and 
 sew the lower edges together in what you 
 would call the wrong way." 
 
 " / see ! " said Lady Muriel, as she deftly 
 executed the order. " And a very twisted, 
 uncomfortable, uncanny-looking bag it makes ! 
 But the moral is a lovely one. Unlimited 
 wealth can only be attained by doing things 
 in the wrong way ! And how are we to join 
 up these mysterious no, I mean this mys- 
 terious opening ? " (twisting the thing round 
 and round with a puzzled air.) "Yes, it is one 
 opening. I thought it was two, at first." 
 
 " You have seen the puzzle of the Paper 
 Ring ? " Mein Herr said, addressing the Earl. 
 " Where you take a slip of paper, and join 
 its ends together, first twisting one, so as to 
 join the upper corner of one end to the lower 
 corner of the other ? "
 
 102 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " I saw one made, only yesterday," the 
 Earl replied. " Muriel, my child, were you 
 not making one, to amuse those children you 
 had to tea ? " 
 
 " Yes, I know that Puzzle," said Lady 
 Muriel. " The Ring has only one surface, and 
 only one edge. It's very mysterious ! " 
 
 " The bag is just like that, isn't it ? " I sug- 
 gested. "Is not the outer surface of one side 
 of it continuous with the inner surface of the 
 other side ? " 
 
 "So it is!" she exclaimed. " Only it isrit 
 a bag, just yet. How shall we fill up this 
 opening, Mein Herr?" 
 
 " Thus ! " said the old man impressively, 
 taking the bag from her, and rising to his feet 
 in the excitement of the explanation. " The 
 edge of the opening consists of four hand- 
 kerchief-edges, and you can trace it continu- 
 ously, round and round the opening : down the 
 right edge of one handkerchief, up the left edge 
 of the other, and then down the left edge of 
 the one, and up the right edge of the other!" 
 
 " So you can ! " Lady Muriel murmured 
 thoughtfully, leaning her head on her hand,
 
 VI l] 
 
 MEIN HERR. 
 
 103 
 
 and earnestly watching the old man. " And 
 that proves it to be only one opening ! " 
 
 She looked so strangely like a child, puzzling 
 over a difficult lesson, and Mein Herr had 
 become, for the moment, so strangely like the 
 old Professor, that I felt utterly bewildered : 
 the ' eerie ' feeling was on me in its full force, 
 and I felt almost impelled to say " Do you 
 understand it, Sylvie ? ' However I checked 
 myself by a great effort, and let the dream 
 (if indeed it was a dream) go on to its end.
 
 104 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Now, this third handkerchief," Mem Herr 
 proceeded, " has also four edges, which you 
 can trace continuously round and round : all 
 you need do is to join its four edges to the 
 four edges of the opening. The Purse is then 
 complete, and its outer surface 
 
 "/ see!" Lady Muriel eagerly interrupted. 
 " Its outer surface will be continuous with its 
 inner surface ! But it will take time. I'll sew 
 it up after tea." She laid aside the bag, and 
 resumed her cup of tea. " But why do you 
 call it Fortunatus's Purse, Mein Herr?" 
 
 The dear old man beamed upon her, with a 
 jolly smile, looking more exactly like the Pro- 
 fessor than ever. " Don't you see, my child 
 
 I should say M iladi ? Whatever is inside 
 that Purse, is outside it ; and whatever is O2tt- 
 side it, is inside it. So you have all the 
 wealth of the world in that leetle Purse ! " 
 
 His pupil clapped her hands, in unrestrained 
 delight. " I'll certainly sew the third hand- 
 kerchief in some time," she said: "but I 
 
 wo'n't take up your time by trying it now. 
 Tell us some more wonderful things, please ! " 
 And her face and her voice so exactly recalled
 
 vn] MEIN HERR. 105 
 
 Sylvie, that I could not help glancing round, 
 half-expecting to see Bruno also ! 
 
 Mein Herr began thoughtfully balancing his 
 spoon on the edge of his teacup, while he 
 pondered over this request. " Something 
 
 wonderful like Fortunatus's Purse ? That 
 
 will give you when it is made wealth 
 
 beyond your wildest dreams : but it will not 
 give you Time ! " 
 
 A pause of silence ensued utilised by 
 
 Lady Muriel for the very practical purpose 
 of refilling the teacups. 
 
 " In your country," Mein Herr began with a 
 startling abruptness, "what becomes of all the 
 wasted Time ? " 
 
 Lady Muriel looked grave. " Who can 
 tell ?" she half-whispered to herself. "All one 
 knows is that it is gone past recall ! " 
 
 "Well, in my 1 mean in a country /have 
 
 visited," said the old man, " they store it up : 
 and it comes in very useful, years afterwards j 
 For example, suppose you have a long tedious 
 evening before you : nobody to talk to : nothing 
 you care to do : and yet hours too soon to go 
 to bed. How do you behave then ?"
 
 io6 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " I get very cross," she frankly admitted : 
 "and I want to throw things about the room ! " 
 
 " When that happens to to the people I 
 
 have visited, they never act so. By a short and 
 simple process which I cannot explain to you 
 
 they store up the useless hours : and, on 
 some other occasion, when they happen to need 
 extra time, they get them out again." 
 
 The Earl was listening with a slightly in- 
 credulous smile. " Why cannot you explain the 
 process ? " he enquired. 
 
 Mein Herr was ready with a quite unanswer- 
 able reason. " Because you have no ivords, in 
 your language, to convey the ideas which are 
 
 needed. I could explain it in in but you 
 
 would not understand it ! " 
 
 "No indeed!" said Lady Muriel, graciously 
 dispensing with the name of the unknown 
 
 language. " I never learnt it at least, not 
 
 to speak it fluently, you know. Please tell us 
 some more wonderful things ! ' 
 
 " They run their railway-trains without any 
 
 engines nothing is needed but machinery to 
 
 stop them with. Is that wonderful enough, 
 Miladi?"
 
 vn] MEIN HERR. 107 
 
 "But where does the force come from ? " I 
 ventured to ask. 
 
 Mein Herr turned quickly round, to look at 
 the new speaker. Then he took off his spec- 
 tacles, and polished them, and looked at me 
 again, in evident bewilderment. I could see 
 
 he was thinking as indeed / was also that 
 
 we must have met before. 
 
 " They use the force of gravity" he said. 
 "It is a force known also in your country, I 
 believe ? " 
 
 " But that would need a railway going down- 
 Jiill" the Earl remarked. " You ca'n't have all 
 your railways going down-hill ? " 
 
 " They all do," said Mein Herr. 
 
 "Not from both ends?" 
 
 " From both ends." 
 
 " Then I give it up ! " said the Earl. 
 
 " Can you explain the process?" said Lady 
 Muriel. "Without using that language, that I 
 ca'n't speak fluently ? " 
 
 " Easily," said Mein Herr. " Each railway 
 is in a long tunnel, perfectly straight : so of 
 course the middle of it is nearer the centre of 
 the globe than the two ends : so every train
 
 io8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 runs half-way down-\\\\\, and that gives it force 
 enough to run the other half up-\i\\\" 
 
 " Thank you. I understand that perfectly," 
 said Lady Muriel. " But the velocity, in the 
 middle of the tunnel, must be something 
 fearful /" 
 
 ' Mein Herr' was evidently much gratified 
 at the intelligent interest Lady Muriel took in 
 his remarks. At every moment the old man 
 seemed to grow more chatty and more fluent. 
 " You would like to know our methods of 
 driving?" he smilingly enquired. "To us, a 
 run-away horse is of no import at all ! " 
 
 Lady Muriel slightly shuddered. " To us 
 it is a very real danger," she said. 
 
 " That is because your carriage is wholly 
 behind your horse. Your horse runs. Your 
 carriage follows. Perhaps your horse has the 
 bit in his teeth. Who shall stop him ? You 
 fly, ever faster and faster ! Finally comes the 
 inevitable upset ! " 
 
 " But suppose your horse manages to get the 
 bit in his teeth ? " 
 
 " No matter ! We would not concern our- 
 selves. Our horse is harnessed in the very
 
 Vll] MEIN HERR. 109 
 
 centre of our carriage. Two wheels are in 
 front of him, and two behind. To the roof is 
 attached one end of a broad belt. This goes 
 under the horse's body, and the other end is 
 attached to a leetle what you call a ' wind- 
 lass,' I think. The horse takes the bit in his 
 teeth, He runs away. We are flying at ten 
 miles an hour ! We turn our little windlass, 
 
 five turns, six turns, seven turns, and poof! 
 
 Our horse is off the ground ! Now let him 
 gallop in the air, as much as he pleases : our 
 carriage stands still. We sit round him, and 
 watch him till he is tired. Then we let him 
 down. Our horse is glad, very much glad, 
 when his feet once more touch the ground ! " 
 
 " Capital ! " said the Earl, who had been 
 listening attentively. "Are there any other 
 peculiarities in your carriages ? " 
 
 " In the wheels, sometimes, my Lord. For 
 your health, you go to sea : to be pitched, to 
 be rolled, occasionally to be drowned. We do 
 all that on land : we are pitched, as you ; we 
 are rolled, as you ; but drowned, no ! There 
 is no water ! " 
 
 " What are the wheels like, then ? "
 
 no SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " They are oval, my Lord. Therefore the 
 carriages rise and fall." 
 
 " Yes, and pitch the carriage backwards and 
 forwards : but how do they make it roll ? " 
 
 " They do not match, my Lord. The end of 
 one wheel answers to the side of the opposite 
 wheel. So first one side of the carriage rises, 
 then the other. And it pitches all the while. 
 Ah, you must be a good sailor, to drive in our 
 boat-carriages ! " 
 
 " I can easily believe it," said the Earl. 
 
 Mein Herr rose to his feet. " I must leave 
 you now, Miladi," he said, consulting his watch. 
 " I have another engagement." 
 
 " I only wish we had stored up some extra 
 time ! " Lady Muriel said, as she shook hands 
 with him. " Then we could have kept you a 
 little longer ! " 
 
 "In that case I would gladly stay," replied 
 
 Mein Herr. "As it is 1 fear I must say 
 
 good-bye ! " 
 
 " Where did you first meet him ? " I asked 
 Lady Muriel, when Mein Herr had left us. 
 " And where does he live ? And what is his 
 real name ? "
 
 vn] MEIN HERR. ill 
 
 " We first met him ' she musingly 
 
 replied, "really, I ca'n't remember where! 
 And I've no idea where he lives ! And I 
 never heard any other name! It's very 
 curious. It never occurred to me before to 
 consider what a mystery he is ! " 
 
 " I hope we shall meet again," I said : "he 
 interests me very much." 
 
 " He will be at our farewell-party, this day 
 fortnight," said the Earl. " Of course you will 
 come ? Muriel is anxious to gather all our 
 friends around us once more, before we leave 
 the place." 
 
 And then he explained to me as Lady 
 
 Muriel had left us together that he was so 
 
 anxious to get his daughter away from a place 
 full of so many painful memories connected 
 with the now-canceled engagement with Major 
 Lindon, that they had arranged to have the 
 wedding in a month's time, after which Arthur 
 and his wife were to go on a foreign tour. 
 
 " Don't forget Tuesday week ! " he said as 
 we shook hands at parting. " I only wish you 
 could bring with you those charming children, 
 that you introduced to us in the summer.
 
 112 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Talk of the mystery of Mein Herr ! That's 
 nothing to the mystery that seems to attend 
 them ! I shall never forget those marvellous 
 flowers ! " 
 
 " I will bring them if I possibly can," I said. 
 But how to fulfil such a promise, I mused to 
 myself on my way back to our lodgings, was 
 a problem entirely beyond my skill !
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 IN A SHADY PLACE. 
 
 THE ten days glided swiftly away : and, the 
 day before the great party was to take place, 
 Arthur proposed that we should stroll down 
 to the Hall, in time for afternoon-tea. 
 
 " Hadn't you better go alone ?" I suggested. 
 " Surely / shall be very much de trop ? " 
 
 " Well, it'll be a kind of experiment" he 
 said. "Fiat experimentum in corpore vili!" 
 he added, with a graceful bow of mock polite- 
 ness towards the unfortunate victim. " You 
 see I shall have to bear the sight, to-morrow 
 night, of my lady-love making herself agreable 
 
 I
 
 IH SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 to everybody except the right person, and I 
 shall bear the agony all the better if we have 
 a dress-rehearsal beforehand ! " 
 
 " My part in the play being, apparently, that 
 of the sample wrong person ? " 
 
 " Well, no>" Arthur said musingly, as we set 
 forth : " there's no such part in a regular 
 company. ' Heavy Father '? That won't do : 
 that's filled already. ' Singing Chambermaid ' ? 
 Well, the ' First Lady ' doubles that part. 
 ' Comic Old Man ' ? You're not comic enough. 
 After all, I'm afraid there's no part for you 
 but the ' Well-dressed Villain : only," with a 
 critical side-glance, "I'm a leetle uncertain 
 about the dress ! " 
 
 We found Lady Muriel alone, the Earl 
 having gone out to make a call, and at once 
 resumed old terms of intimacy, in the shady 
 arbour where the tea-things seemed to be 
 always waiting. The only novelty in the 
 arrangements (one which Lady Muriel seemed 
 to regard as entirely a matter of course), was 
 that two of the chairs were placed quite close 
 together, side by side. Strange to say, / was 
 not invited to occupy either of them !
 
 vill] IN A SHADY PLACE. 115 
 
 "We have been arranging, as we came 
 along, about letter-writing," Arthur began. 
 " He will want to know how we're enjoying 
 our Swiss tour : and of course we must pretend 
 we are ? " 
 
 " Of course," she meekly assented. 
 
 " And the skeleton-in-the-cupboard " I 
 
 suggested. 
 
 " is always a difficulty," she quickly put 
 
 in, " when you're traveling about, and when 
 there are no cupboards in the hotels. How- 
 ever, ours is a very portable one ; and will be 
 neatly packed, in a nice leather case 
 
 "But please don't think about writing" I 
 said, " when you've anything more attractive 
 on hand. I delight in reading letters, but I 
 know well how tiring it is to write them.' 
 
 "It is, sometimes," Arthur assented. " For 
 instance, when you're very shy of the person 
 you have to write to.' 
 
 " Does that show itself in the letter ? " Lady 
 Muriel enquired. " Of course, when I hear 
 any one talking -yoii, for instance I can 
 see how desperately shy he is ! But can you 
 see that in a letter ? " 
 
 I 2
 
 ii6 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Well, of course, when you hear any one 
 
 talk fluently -you, for instance you can see 
 
 how desperately zm-shy she is not to say 
 
 saucy ! But the shyest and most intermittent 
 talker must seem fluent in letter-writing. He 
 may have taken half-an-hour to compose his 
 second sentence ; but there it is, close after 
 the first ! " 
 
 " Then letters don't express all that they 
 might express ?" 
 
 " That's merely because our system of letter- 
 writing is incomplete. A shy writer ought to 
 be able to show that he is so. Why shouldn't 
 he make pauses in writing, just as he would 
 do in speaking ? He might leave blank spaces 
 say half a page at a time. And a very shy 
 
 girl if there is such a thing might write 
 
 a sentence on \hefirst sheet of her letter- 
 then put in a couple of blank sheets then 
 
 a sentence on the fourth sheet : and so on " 
 
 " I quite foresee that we 1 mean this clever 
 
 little boy and myself " Lady Muriel said to 
 me, evidently with the kind wish to bring me 
 
 into the conversation, " are going to become 
 
 famous of course all our inventions are
 
 vni] IN A SHADY PLACE. 117 
 
 common property now for a new Code of 
 
 Rules for Letter-writing ! Please invent some 
 more, little boy ! " 
 
 " Well, another thing greatly needed, little 
 girl, is some way of expressing that we dorit 
 mean anything." 
 
 " Explain yourself, little boy ! Surely you 
 can find no difficulty in expressing a total 
 absence of meaning ? " 
 
 " I mean that you should be able, when you 
 dorit mean a thing to be taken seriously, to 
 express that wish. For human nature is so 
 constituted that whatever you write seriously 
 is taken as a joke, and whatever you mean 
 as a joke is taken seriously ! At any rate, it 
 is so in writing to a lady ! " 
 
 "Ah! you're not used to writing to ladies!" 
 Lady Muriel remarked, leaning back in her 
 chair, and gazing thoughtfully into the sky. 
 "You should try." 
 
 "Very good," said Arthur. " How many 
 ladies may I begin writing to ? As many as I 
 can count on the fingers of both hands ? " 
 
 "As many as you can count on the thumbs 
 of one hand ! " his lady-love replied with much
 
 ii8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 severity. " What a very naughty little boy he 
 is ! Isn't he ? " (with an appealing glance at 
 me). 
 
 " He's a little fractious," I said. " Perhaps 
 he's cutting a tooth." While to myself I said 
 " How exactly like Sylvie talking to Bruno ! " 
 
 " He wants his tea." (The naughty little boy 
 volunteered the information.) " He's getting 
 very tired, at the mere prospect of the great 
 party to-morrow ! " 
 
 " Then he shall have a good rest before- 
 hand ! " she soothingly replied. " The tea isn't 
 made yet. Come, little boy, lean well back in 
 
 your chair, and think about nothing or about 
 
 me, whichever you prefer ! " 
 
 " All the same, all the same ! " Arthur sleepi- 
 ly murmured, watching her with loving eyes, 
 as she moved her chair away to the tea-table, 
 and began to make the tea. " Then he'll wait 
 for his tea. like a good, patient little boy ! " 
 
 "Shall I bring you the London Papers?" 
 said Lady Muriel. " I saw them lying on the 
 table as I came out, but my father said there 
 was nothing in them, except that horrid murder- 
 trial." (Society was just then enjoying its daily
 
 VIIl] 
 
 IN A SHADY PLACE. 
 
 119 
 
 thrill of excitement in studying the details of a 
 specially sensational murder in a thieves' den in 
 the East of London.) 
 
 " I have no appetite for horrors," Arthur 
 replied. " But I hope we have learned the 
 
 lesson they should teach us though we are 
 
 very apt to read it backwards ! " 
 
 " You speak in riddles," said Lady Muriel. 
 " Please explain yourself. See now," suiting 
 the action to the word, " I am sitting at your 
 feet, just as if you were a second Gamaliel !
 
 120 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Thanks, no." (This was to me, who had risen 
 to bring her chair back to its former place.) 
 " Pray don't disturb yourself. This tree and 
 the grass make a very nice easy-chair. What is 
 the lesson that one always reads wrong ? " 
 
 Arthur was silent for a minute. " I would 
 like to be clear what it is I mean," he said, 
 slowly and thoughtfully, " before I say anything 
 \& you because you think about it." 
 
 Anything approaching to a compliment was 
 so unusual an utterance for Arthur, that it 
 brought a flush of pleasure to her cheek, as she 
 replied " It is you, that give me the ideas to 
 think about." 
 
 " One's first thought," Arthur proceeded, <: in 
 reading of anything specially vile or barbarous, 
 as done by a fellow-creature, is apt to be that 
 we see a new depth of Sin revealed beneath us : 
 and we seem to gaze down into that abyss from 
 some higher ground, far apart from it." 
 
 " I think I understand you now. You mean 
 
 that one. ought to think not ' God, I thank 
 
 Thee that I am not as other men are '- but 
 ' God, be merciful to me also, who might be, 
 but for Thy grace, a sinner as vile as he ! '
 
 vin] IN A SHADY PLACE. 121 
 
 " No," said Arthur. " I meant a great deal 
 more than that." 
 
 She looked up quickly, but checked herself, 
 and waited in silence. 
 
 " One must begin further back, I think. 
 Think of some other man, the same age as this 
 poor wretch. Look back to the time when 
 
 they both began life before they had sense 
 
 enough to know Right from Wrong. Then, at 
 any rate, they were equal in God's sight ? " 
 
 She nodded assent. 
 
 " We have, then, two distinct epochs at which 
 we may contemplate the two men whose lives 
 we are comparing. At the first epoch they are, 
 so far as moral responsibility is concerned, on 
 precisely the same footing : they are alike 
 incapable of doing right or wrong. At the 
 
 second epoch the one man 1 am taking an 
 
 extreme case, for contrast has won the esteem 
 
 and love of all around him : his character is 
 stainless, and his name will be held in honour 
 hereafter : the other man's history is one 
 unvaried record of crime, and his life is at last 
 forfeited to the outraged laws of his country. 
 Now what have been the causes, in each case,
 
 122 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 of each man's condition being what it is at the 
 
 second epoch ? They are of two kinds one 
 
 acting from within, the other from without. 
 These two kinds need to be discussed separ- 
 ately that is, if I have not already tired you 
 
 with my prosing ? " 
 
 " On the contrary," said Lady Muriel, " it is 
 a special delight to me to have a question 
 
 discussed in this way analysed and arranged, 
 
 so that one can understand it. Some books, 
 that profess to argue out a question, are to me 
 intolerably wearisome, simply because the ideas 
 
 are all arranged hap-hazard a sort of ' first 
 
 come, first served.' ' 
 
 " You are very encouraging," Arthur replied, 
 with a pleased look. " The causes, acting from 
 within, which make a man's character what it is 
 at any given moment, are his successive acts of 
 
 volition that is, his acts of choosing whether 
 
 he will do this or that." 
 
 " We are to assume the existence of Free- 
 Will ? " I said, in order to have that point made 
 quite clear. 
 
 "If not," was the quiet reply, " cadit 
 quaestio : and I have no more to say."
 
 vin] IN A SHADY PLACE. 123 
 
 "We will assume it!" the rest of the 
 
 audience the majority, I may say, looking at 
 
 it from Arthur's point of view imperiously 
 
 proclaimed. The orator proceeded. 
 
 " The causes, acting from without, are his 
 
 surroundings what Mr. Herbert Spencer 
 
 calls his ' environment.' Now the point I want 
 to make clear is this, that a man is responsible 
 for his acts of choosing, but not responsible 
 for his environment. Hence, if these two men 
 make, on some given occasion, when they are 
 exposed to equal temptation, equal efforts to 
 resist and to choose the right, their condition, 
 in the sight of God, must be the same. If He 
 is pleased in the one case, so will He be in the 
 other ; if displeased in the one case, so also in 
 the other." 
 
 " That is so, no doubt : I see it quite clearly," 
 Lady Muriel put in. 
 
 " And yet, owing to their different environ- 
 ments, the one may win a great victory over the 
 temptation, while the other falls into some black 
 abyss of crime." 
 
 " But surely you would not say those men 
 were equally guilty in the sight of God ?"
 
 124 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Either that,' 1 said Arthur, " or else I must 
 give up my belief in God's perfect justice. 
 But let me put one more case, which will show 
 my meaning even more forcibly. Let the one 
 
 man be in a high social position the other, 
 
 say, a common thief. Let the one be tempted 
 to some trivial act of unfair dealing some- 
 thing which he can do with the absolute 
 
 <_> 
 
 certainty that it will never be discovered 
 
 something which he can with perfect ease 
 
 forbear from doing and which he distinctly 
 
 knows to be a sin. Let the other be tempted 
 
 to some terrible crime as men would consider 
 
 it but under an almost overwhelming pressure 
 
 of motives of course not quite overwhelming, 
 
 as that would destroy all responsibility. Now, 
 in this case, let the second man make a greater 
 effort at resistance than the first. Also suppose 
 
 both to fall under the temptation 1 say that 
 
 the second man is, in God's sight, less guilty 
 than the other." 
 
 Lady Muriel drew a long breath. "It upsets 
 
 all one's ideas of Right and Wrong just at 
 
 first ! Why, in that dreadful murder-trial, you 
 would say, I suppose, that it was possible that
 
 vin] IN A SHADY PLACE. 125 
 
 the least guilty man in the Court was the 
 murderer, and that possibly the judge who 
 tried him, by yielding to the temptation of 
 making one unfair remark, had committed a 
 crime outweighing the criminal's whole career!" 
 '"Certainly I should," Arthur firmly replied. 
 " It sounds like a paradox, I admit. But just 
 think what a grievous sin it must be, in God's 
 sight, to yield to some very slight temptation, 
 which we could have resisted with perfect ease, 
 and to do it deliberately, and in the full light 
 of God's Law. What penance can atone for 
 a sin like that ? " 
 
 " I ca'n't reject your theory," I said. " But 
 how it seems to widen the possible area of Sin 
 in the world ! " 
 
 "Is that so ? " Lady Muriel anxiously 
 enquired. 
 
 " Oh, not so, not so !" was the eager reply. 
 " To me it seems to clear away much of the 
 cloud that hangs over the world's history. 
 When this view first made itself clear to me, 
 I remember walking out into the fields, re- 
 peating to myself that line of Tennyson ' There 
 seemed no room for sense of wrong ! ' The
 
 126 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 thought, that perhaps the real guilt of the 
 human race was infinitely less than I fancied 
 
 it that the millions, whom I had thought of 
 
 as sunk in hopeless depths of sin, were per- 
 haps, in God's sight, scarcely sinning at all 
 
 was more sweet than words can tell ! Life 
 seemed more bright and beautiful, when once 
 that thought had come ! * A livelier emerald 
 twinkles in the grass, A purer sapphire melts 
 into the sea!' His voice trembled as he 
 concluded, and the tears stood in his eyes. 
 
 Lady Muriel shaded her face with her hand, 
 and was silent for a minute. " It is a beautiful 
 thought," she said, looking up at last. " Thank 
 you Arthur, for putting it into my head ! " 
 
 The Earl returned in time to join us at tea, 
 and to give us the very unwelcome tidings that 
 a fever had broken out in the little harbour- 
 town that lay below us a fever of so malig- 
 nant a type that, though it had only appeared a 
 day or two ago, there were already more than 
 a dozen down in it, two or three of whom were 
 reported to be in imminent danger. 
 
 In answer to the eager questions of Arthur 
 who of course took a deep scientific interest
 
 vin] IN A SHADY PLACE. 127 
 
 in the matter he could give very few technical 
 
 details, though he had met the local doctor. It 
 appeared, however, that it was an almost new 
 
 disease at least in this century, though it 
 
 might prove to be identical with the ' Plague ' 
 
 recorded in History very infectious, and 
 
 frightfully rapid in its action. "It will not, 
 however, prevent our party to-morrow," he 
 said in conclusion. " None of the guests be- 
 long to the infected district, which is, as you 
 know, exclusively peopled by fishermen : so 
 you may come without any fear." 
 
 Arthur was very silent, all the way back, 
 and, on reaching our lodgings, immediately 
 plunged into medical studies, connected with 
 the alarming malady of whose arrival we had 
 just heard.
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 
 
 ON the following day, Arthur and I reached 
 the Hall in good time, as only a few of the 
 
 guests it was to be a party of eighteen 
 
 had as yet arrived ; and these were talking with 
 the Earl, leaving us the opportunity of a few 
 words apart with our hostess. 
 
 "Who is that very learned-looking man with 
 the large spectacles ? " Arthur enquired. " I 
 haven't met him here before, have I ? " 
 
 " No, he's a new friend of ours," said Lady 
 Muriel: "a German, I believe. He is such a 
 dear old thing ! And quite the most learned
 
 IX] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 129 
 
 man I ever met with one exception, of 
 
 course ! " she added humbly, as Arthur drew 
 himself up with an air of offended dignity. 
 
 -' And the young lady in blue, just beyond 
 him, talking to that foreign-looking man. Is 
 she learned, too ? " 
 
 " I don't know," said Lady Muriel. " But 
 I'm told she's a wonderful piano-forte-player. I 
 hope you'll hear her to-night. I asked that 
 foreigner to take her in, because hes very 
 musical, too. He's a French Count, I believe ; 
 and he sings splendidly ! " 
 
 " Science music singing you have in- 
 deed got a complete party ! " said Arthur. " I 
 feel quite a privileged person, meeting all these 
 stars. I do love music ! " 
 
 " But the party isn't quite complete ! " said 
 Lady Muriel. " You haven't brought us those 
 two beautiful children," she went on, turning 
 to me. " He brought them here to tea, you 
 know, one day last summer," again addressing 
 Arthur ; " and they are such darlings ! " 
 
 " They are, indeed" I assented. 
 
 " But why haven't you brought them with 
 you ? You promised my father you would" 
 
 K
 
 130 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " I'm very sorry," I said ; " but really it was 
 impossible to bring them with me." Here I 
 most certainly meant to conclude the sentence: 
 and it was with a feeling of utter amazement, 
 which I cannot adequately describe, that I 
 
 heard myself going on speaking. " but they 
 
 are to join me here in the course of the even- 
 ing " were the words, uttered in my voice, and 
 seeming to come from my lips. 
 
 " I'm so glad ! " Lady Muriel joyfully replied. 
 " I shall enjoy introducing them to some of my 
 friends here ! When do you expect them ? " 
 
 I took refuge in silence. The only honest 
 reply would have been " That was not my 
 remark. / didn't say it, and it isnt true!" 
 But I had not the moral courage to make such 
 a confession. The character of a ' lunatic ' is 
 not, I believe, very difficult to acquire : but it 
 is amazingly difficult to get rid of: and it 
 seemed quite certain that any such speech as 
 that would quite justify the issue of a writ ( de 
 lunatico inquirendo? 
 
 Lady Muriel evidently thought I had failed 
 to hear her question, and turned to Arthur 
 with a remark on some other subject ; and I
 
 ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 131 
 
 had time to recover from my shock of surprise 
 
 or to awake out of my momentary ' eerie ' 
 
 condition, whichever it was. 
 
 When things around me seemed once more 
 to be real, Arthur was saying " Tm afraid 
 there's no help for it : they must be finite in 
 number." 
 
 " I should be sorry to have to believe it," 
 said Lady Muriel. "Yet, when one comes to 
 think of it, there are no new melodies, now-a- 
 days. What people talk of as ' the last new 
 song' always recalls to me some tune I've 
 known as a child ! " 
 
 " The day must come if the world lasts 
 
 long enough ' said Arthur, "when every 
 
 possible tune will have been composed every 
 
 possible pun perpetrated " (Lady Muriel 
 
 wrung her hands, like a tragedy- queen) "and, 
 worse than that, every possible book written ! 
 For the number of words is finite." 
 
 " It'll make very little difference to the 
 authors" I suggested. " Instead of saying 
 ' what book shall I write ? ' an author will ask 
 himself ' which book shall I write ? ' A mere 
 verbal distinction ! "
 
 T32 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Lady Muriel gave me an approving smile. 
 " But lunatics would always write new books, 
 surely ? " she went on. " They couldnt write 
 the sane books over again ! " 
 
 " True," said Arthur. " But their books 
 would come to an end, also. The number of 
 lunatic books is as finite as the number of 
 lunatics." 
 
 " And that number is becoming greater 
 every year," said a pompous man, whom I 
 recognised as the self-appointed showman on 
 the day of the picnic. 
 
 " So they say," replied Arthur. " And, when 
 ninety per cent, of us are lunatics," (he seemed 
 to be in a wildly nonsensical mood) " the 
 asylums will be put to their proper use." 
 
 " And that is ? " the pompous man 
 
 gravely enquired. 
 
 " To shelter the sane /" said Arthur. " We 
 shall bar ourselves in. The lunatics will have 
 it all their own way, outside. They '11 do it 
 a little queerly, no doubt. Railway-collisions 
 will be always happening : steamers always 
 blowing up : most of the towns will be burnt 
 down : most of the ships sunk
 
 IX] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 133 
 
 "And most of the men. killed!" murmured 
 the pompous man, who was evidently hopelessly 
 bewildered. 
 
 " Certainly," Arthur assented. " Till at last 
 there will be fewer lunatics than sane men. 
 Then we come out : they go in : and things 
 return to their normal condition ! " 
 
 The pompous man frowned darkly, and bit 
 his lip, and folded his arms, vainly trying to 
 think it out. "He is jesting!" he muttered 
 to himself at last, in a tone of withering con- 
 tempt, as he stalked away. 
 
 By this time the other guests had arrived ; 
 and dinner was announced. Arthur of course 
 took down Lady Muriel : and / was pleased 
 to find myself seated at her other side, with 
 a severe-looking old lady (whom I had not 
 met before, and whose name I had, as is usual 
 in introductions, entirely failed to catch, merely 
 gathering that it sounded like a compound- 
 name) as my partner for the banquet. 
 
 She appeared, however, to be acquainted 
 with Arthur, and confided to me in a low voice 
 her opinion that he was " a very argumentative 
 young man." Arthur, for his part, seemed well
 
 134 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 inclined to show himself worthy of the character 
 she had given him, and, hearing her say " I 
 never take wine with my soup ! " (this was not 
 a confidence to me, but was launched upon 
 Society, as a matter of general interest), he 
 at once challenged a combat by asking her 
 " ivhen would you say that property commence 
 in a plate of soup ? " 
 
 " This is my soup," she sternly replied : 
 " and what is before you is yours." 
 
 " No doubt," said Arthur : " but when did I 
 begin to own it ? Up to the moment of its 
 being put into the plate, it was the property 
 of our host : while being offered round the 
 table, it was, let us say, held in trust by the 
 waiter : did it become mine when I accepted 
 it ? Or when it was placed before me ? Or 
 when I took the first spoonful ? " 
 
 " He is a very argumentative young man ! " 
 was all the old lady would say : but she said 
 it audibly, this time, feeling that Society had a 
 right to know it. 
 
 Arthur smiled mischievously. " I shouldn't 
 mind betting you a shilling," he said, " that the 
 Eminent Barrister next you" (It certainly is
 
 ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 135 
 
 possible to say words so as to make them 
 begin with capitals !) " ca'n't answer me ! " 
 
 " I never bet," she sternly replied. 
 
 " Not even sixpenny points at whist ? " 
 
 " Never ! " she repeated. " Whist is inno- 
 cent enough : but whist played for money ! " 
 She shuddered. 
 
 Arthur became serious again. " I'm afraid I 
 ca'n't take that view," he said. " I consider 
 that the introduction of small stakes for card- 
 playing was one of the most moral acts Society 
 ever did, as Society." 
 
 " How was it so ? " said Lady Muriel. 
 
 " Because it took Cards, once for all, out of 
 the category of games at which cheating is pos- 
 sible. Look at the way Croquet is demoralising 
 Society. Ladies are beginning to cheat at it, 
 terribly : and, if they're found out, they only 
 laugh, and call it fun. But when there's money 
 at stake, that is out of the question. The 
 swindler is not accepted as a wit. When a 
 man sits down to cards, and cheats his friends 
 out of their money, he doesn't get much fun 
 
 out of it unless he thinks it fun to be kicked 
 
 down stairs ! "
 
 136 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " If all gentlemen thought as badly of ladies 
 as you do," my neighbour remarked with some 
 
 bitterness, " there would be very few very 
 
 few ." She seemed doubtful how to end 
 her sentence, but at last took " honeymoons " 
 as a safe word. 
 
 " On the contrary," said Arthur, the mis- 
 chievous smile returning to his face, " if only 
 people would adopt my theory, the number of 
 
 honeymoons quite of a new kind would 
 
 be greatly increased ! " 
 
 " May we hear about this new kind of 
 honeymoon ? " said Lady Muriel. 
 
 " Let X be the gentleman," Arthur began, in 
 a slightly raised voice, as he now found himself 
 with an audience of six, including ' Mein Herr,' 
 who was seated at the other side of my poly- 
 nomial partner. " Let X be the gentleman, 
 and Kthe lady to whom he thinks of proposing. 
 He applies for an Experimental Honeymoon. 
 It is granted. Forthwith the young couple- 
 accompanied by the great-aunt of K, to act as 
 
 chaperone start for a month's tour, during 
 
 which they have many a moonlight-walk, and 
 many a tete-a-tete conversation, and each can
 
 ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 137 
 
 form a more correct estimate of the other's 
 character, in four weeks, than would have been 
 possible in as many years, when meeting under 
 the ordinary restrictions of Society. And it is 
 only after their return that X finally decides 
 whether he will, or will not, put the momentous 
 question to F/" 
 
 "In nine cases out of ten," the pompous man 
 proclaimed, " he would decide to break it off! " 
 
 " Then, in nine cases out of ten," Arthur 
 rejoined, " an unsuitable match would be pre- 
 vented, and both parties saved from misery ! " 
 
 "The only really unsuitable matches," the 
 old lady remarked, " are those made without 
 sufficient Money. Love may come afterwards. 
 Money is needed to begin with ! " 
 
 This remark was cast loose upon Society, as 
 a sort of general challenge ; and, as such, it was 
 at once accepted by several of those within 
 hearing : Money became the key-note of the 
 conversation for some time ; and a fitful echo of 
 it was again heard, when the dessert had been 
 placed upon the table, the servants had left the 
 room, and the Earl had started the \vine in 
 its welcome progress round the table.
 
 138 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " I'm very glad to see you keep up the old 
 customs," I said to Lady Muriel as I filled her 
 glass. " It's really delightful to experience, 
 once more, the peaceful feeling that comes over 
 one when the waiters have left the room- 
 when one can converse without the feeling of 
 being overheard, and without having dishes 
 constantly thrust over one's shoulder. How 
 much more sociable it is to be able to pour 
 out the wine for the ladies, and to hand the 
 dishes to those who wish for them ! " 
 
 "In that case, kindly send those peaches 
 down here," said a fat red-faced man, who was 
 seated beyond our pompous friend. " I've 
 
 been wishing for them diagonally for some 
 
 time ! " 
 
 " Yes, it is a ghastly innovation," Lady 
 Muriel replied, " letting the waiters carry round 
 the wine at dessert. For one thing, they 
 
 always take it the wrong way round which of 
 
 course brings bad luck to everybody present ! " 
 
 " Better go the wrong way than not go at 
 all!" said our host. "Would you kindly help 
 yourself?" (This was to the fat red-faced 
 man.) " You are not a teetotaler, I think ? "
 
 ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY 139 
 
 " Indeed but I am ! " he replied, as he 
 pushed on the bottles. " Nearly twice as 
 much money is spent in England on Drink, 
 as on any other article of food. Read this 
 card." (What faddist ever goes about without 
 a pocketful of the appropriate literature ?) 
 " The stripes of different colours represent the 
 amounts spent on various articles of food. 
 Look at the highest three. Money spent on 
 butter and on cheese, thirty-five millions : on 
 bread, seventy millions : on intoxicating liquors, 
 one hundred and thirty-six millions ! If I 
 had my way, I would close every public-house 
 in the land ! Look at that card, and read the 
 motto. That's where all the money goes to ! " 
 
 " Have you seen the Anti-Teetotal Card? r 
 Arthur innocently enquired. 
 
 " No, Sir, I have not ! " the orator savagely 
 replied. " What is it like ? " 
 
 " Almost exactly like this one. The coloured 
 stripes are the same. Only, instead of the 
 words ' Money spent on,' it has ' Incomes 
 derived from sale of ; and, instead of ' That's 
 where all the money goes to,' its motto is 
 ' Thafs where all the money comes from ! ' '
 
 140 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 The red-faced man scowled, but evidently 
 considered Arthur beneath his notice. So 
 Lady Muriel took up the cudgels. " Do you 
 hold the theory," she enquired, " that people 
 can preach teetotalism more effectually by be- 
 ing teetotalers themselves ? " 
 
 " Certainly I do ! " replied the red-faced man. 
 " Now, here is a case in point," unfolding 
 a newspaper-cutting : " let me read you this 
 letter from a teetotaler. To the Editor. 
 Sir, I was once a moderate drinker, and knew 
 a man ivho drank to excess. I went to him. 
 ' Give up this drink,' I said. ' It will ruin your 
 health ! ' ' You drink,' he said : ' why shouldn't 
 I ? ' ' Yes] I said, ' but I know when to 
 leave off.' He turned away from me. ' You 
 drink in your way ] he said: ''let me drink 
 in mine. Be off !' Then 1 saw that, to do 
 any good with him, I must forswear drink. 
 From that hour I haven t touched a drop !" 
 
 " There ! What do you say to that ? " He 
 looked round triumphantly, while the cutting 
 was handed round for inspection. 
 
 " How very curious ! " exclaimed Arthur, 
 when it had reached him. " Did you happen
 
 rx] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 141 
 
 to see a letter, last week, about early rising ? 
 It was strangely like this one." 
 
 The red-faced man's curiosity was roused. 
 " Where did it appear ? " he asked. 
 
 " Let me read it to you," said Arthur. He 
 took some papers from his pocket, opened one 
 of them, and read as follows. To the Editor. 
 Sir, I was once a moderate sleeper, and knew a 
 man who slept to excess. I pleaded with him. 
 ' Give up this lying in bed,' I said, ' It will 
 ruin your health /' ' You go to bed 1 , he said: 
 ' why shouldnt I ?' ' Yes,' I said, 'but I know 
 when to get up in the morning' He turned away 
 from me. ' You sleep in your way,' he said : 
 ' let me sleep in mine. Be off ! ' Then I saw 
 that to do any good with him, I must forswear 
 sleep. From that hour I haven t been to bed ! " 
 
 Arthur folded and pocketed his paper, and 
 passed on the newspaper-cutting. None of us 
 dared to laugh, the red-faced man was 
 evidently so angry. " Your parallel doesn't run 
 on all fours ! " he snarled. 
 
 "Moderate drinkers never do so!" Arthur 
 quietly replied. Even the stern old lady 
 laughed at this.
 
 H2 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " But it needs many other things to make a 
 perfect dinner ! " said Lady Muriel, evidently 
 anxious to change the subject. " Mein Herr ! 
 What is your idea of a perfect dinner-party ? " 
 
 The old man looked round smilingly, and 
 his gigantic spectacles seemed more gigantic 
 than ever. "A perfect dinner-party?'' he 
 repeated. " First, it must be presided over 
 by our present hostess ! " 
 
 "That, of course!" she gaily interposed. 
 " But what else, Mein Herr ? " 
 
 " I can but tell you what I have seen," said 
 
 Mein Herr, "in mine own in the country I 
 
 have traveled in." 
 
 He paused for a full minute, and gazed 
 
 steadily at the ceiling with so dreamy an 
 
 expression on his face, that I feared he was 
 going off into a reverie, which seemed to be 
 his normal state. However, after a minute, 
 he suddenly began again. 
 
 " That which chiefly causes the failure of a 
 
 dinner-party, is the running-short not of meat, 
 
 nor yet of drink, but of conversation''' 
 
 " In an English dinner-party," I remarked, 
 '' I have never known small-talk run short ! "
 
 ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 143 
 
 " Pardon me," Mein Herr respectfully replied, 
 " I did not say 'small-talk.' I said 'conversa- 
 tion.' All such topics as the weather, or politics, 
 or local gossip, are unknown among us. They 
 are either vapid or controversial. What we 
 need for conversation is a topic of interest and 
 of novelty. To secure these things we have 
 tried various plans Moving-Pictures, Wild- 
 Creatures, Moving-Guests, and a Revolving- 
 Humorist. But this last is only adapted to 
 small parties." 
 
 " Let us have it in four separate Chapters, 
 please ! " said Lady Muriel, who was evidently 
 
 deeply interested as, indeed, most of the 
 
 party were, by this time : and, all down the 
 table, talk had ceased, and heads were leaning 
 forwards, eager to catch fragments of Mein 
 Herr's oration. 
 
 "Chapter One! Moving-Pictures!" was pro- 
 claimed in the silvery voice of our hostess. 
 
 " The dining-table is shaped like a circular 
 ring," Mein Herr began, in low dreamy tones, 
 which, however, were perfectly audible in the 
 silence. " The guests are seated at the inner 
 side as well as the outer, having ascended to
 
 144 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 their places by a winding-staircase, from the 
 room below. Along the middle of the table 
 runs a little railway ; and there is an endless 
 train of trucks, worked round by machinery ; 
 and on each truck there are two pictures, lean- 
 ing back to back. The train makes two circuits 
 during dinner ; and, when it has been once 
 round, the waiters turn the pictures round in 
 each truck, making them face the other way. 
 Thus every guest sees every picture ! " 
 
 He paused, and the silence seemed deader 
 than ever. Lady Muriel looked aghast. 
 " Really, if this goes on," she exclaimed, " I 
 shall have to drop a pin ! Oh, it's my fault, is 
 it ? " (In answer to an appealing look from Mein 
 Herr.) " I was forgetting my duty. Chapter 
 Two ! Wild-Creatures ! " 
 
 " We found the Moving-Pictures a little 
 monotonous," said Mein Herr. " People 
 didn't care to talk Art through a whole dinner ; 
 so we tried Wild-Creatures. Among the flowers, 
 which we laid (just as you do) about the table, 
 were to be seen, here a mouse, there a beetle ; 
 here a spider," (Lady Muriel shuddered) "there 
 a wasp ; here a toad, there a snake ;" ("Father ! "
 
 ix] THE FAREWELL-PARTY. 145 
 
 said Lady Muriel, plaintively. " Did you hear 
 that ?") "so we had plenty to talk about ! " 
 
 " And when you got stung " the old lady 
 
 began. 
 
 " They were all chained-up, dear Madam ! " 
 
 And the old lady gave a satisfied nod. 
 
 There was no silence to follow, this time. 
 " Third Chapter ! " Lady Muriel proclaimed at 
 once, " Moving-Guests ! " 
 
 " Even the Wild- Creatures proved mono- 
 tonous/' the orator proceeded. " So we left the 
 guests to choose their own subjects ; and, to 
 avoid monotony, we changed them. We made 
 the table of two rings ; and the inner ring 
 moved slowly round, all the time, along with 
 the floor in the middle and the inner row of 
 guests. Thus every inner guest was brought 
 face-to-face with every outer guest. It was a 
 little confusing, sometimes, to have to begin a 
 story to one friend and finish it to another ; 
 but every plan has its faults, you know." 
 
 " Fourth Chapter ! " Lady Muriel hastened 
 to announce. "The Revolving- H umorist !" 
 
 " For a small party we found it an excellent 
 plan to have a round table, with a hole cut in 
 
 L
 
 146 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 the middle large enough to hold one guest. 
 Here we placed our best talker. He revolved 
 slowly, facing every other guest in turn : and 
 he told lively anecdotes the whole time ! " 
 
 " I shouldn't like it ! " murmured the pompous 
 man. " It would make me giddy, revolving 
 like that ! I should decline to ' here it 
 appeared to dawn upon him that perhaps the 
 assumption he was making was not warranted 
 by the circumstances : he took a hasty gulp of 
 wine, and choked himself. 
 
 But Mein Herr had relapsed into reverie, 
 and made no further remark. Lady Muriel 
 gave the signal, and the ladies left the room.
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 JABBERING AND JAM. 
 
 WHEN the last lady had disappeared, and 
 the Earl, taking his place at the head of the 
 table, had issued the military order " Gentle- 
 men ! Close up the ranks, if you please ! ", 
 and when, in obedience to his command, we 
 had gathered ourselves compactly round him, 
 the pompous man gave a deep sigh of relief, 
 filled his glass to the brim, pushed on the 
 wine, and began one of his favorite orations. 
 " They are charming, no doubt ! Charming, 
 but very frivolous. They drag us down, so 
 to speak, to a lower level. They 
 
 L 2
 
 148 SYLVJE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Do not all pronouns require antecedent 
 nouns ? " the Earl gently enquired. 
 
 " Pardon me," said the pompous man, with 
 lofty condescension. " I had overlooked the 
 noun. The ladies. We regret their absence. 
 Yet we console ourselves. Thought is free. 
 With them, we are limited to trivial topics- 
 Art, Literature, Politics, and so forth. One 
 can bear to discuss such paltry matters with 
 
 a lady. But no man, in his senses " (he 
 
 looked sternly round the table, as if defying 
 
 contradiction) " ever yet discussed WINE 
 
 with a lady ! " He sipped his glass of port, 
 leaned back in his chair, and slowly raised it 
 up to his eye, so as to look through it at the 
 lamp. "The vintage, my Lord ? " he enquired, 
 glancing at his host. 
 
 The Earl named the date. 
 
 " So I had supposed. But one likes to be 
 certain. The tint is, perhaps, slightly pale. 
 But the body is unquestionable. And as for 
 the bouquet 
 
 Ah, that magic Bouquet ! How vividly 
 that single word recalled the scene ! The 
 little beggar-boy turning his somersault in
 
 x] JABBERING AND JAM. 149 
 
 the road the sweet little crippled maiden in 
 
 my arms the mysterious evanescent nurse- 
 maid all rushed tumultuously into my mind, 
 
 like the creatures of a dream : and through 
 this mental haze there still boomed on, like 
 the tolling of a bell, the solemn voice of the 
 great connoisseur of WINE ! 
 
 Even his utterances had taken on themselves 
 a strange and dream-like form. " No," he 
 
 resumed and zv/ty is it, I pause to ask, that, 
 
 in taking up the broken thread of a dialogue, 
 one always begins with this cheerless monosyl- 
 lable ? After much anxious thought, I have 
 come to the conclusion that the object in view 
 is the same as that of the schoolboy, when the 
 sum he is working has got into a hopeless 
 muddle, and when in despair he takes the 
 sponge, washes it all out, and begins again. 
 Just in the same way the bewildered orator, 
 by the simple process of denying everything 
 that has been hitherto asserted, makes a clean 
 sweep of the whole discussion, and can ' start 
 fair' with a fresh theory. " No," he resumed : 
 " there's nothing like cherry-jam, after all. 
 That's what / say ! "
 
 150 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Not for all qualities ! " an eager little man 
 shrilly interposed. " For richness of general 
 tone I don't say that it has a rival. But for 
 
 delicacy of modulation for what one may call 
 
 the ' harmonics ' of flavour give me good 
 
 old raspberry -jam \ " 
 
 " Allow me one word ! " The fat red-faced 
 man, quite hoarse with excitement, broke into 
 the dialogue. " It's too important a question 
 to be settled by Amateurs ! I can give you 
 
 the views of a Professional perhaps the most 
 
 experienced jam-taster now living. Why, I've 
 known him fix the age of strawberry-jam, to 
 
 a day and we all know what a difficult jam 
 
 it is to give a date to on a single tasting ! 
 
 Well, I put to him the very question you are 
 discussing. His words were l cherry-yam is 
 best, for mere chiaroscuro of flavour: raspberry- 
 jam lends itself best to those resolved discords 
 that linger so lovingly on the tongue : but, for 
 rapturous ittterness of saccharine perfection, it's 
 apricot-jam first and the rest nowhere ! ' That 
 was well put, wasnt it ? " 
 
 " Consummately put ! " shrieked the eager 
 little man.
 
 x] JABBERING AND JAM. 151 
 
 " I know your friend well," said the pompous 
 man. "As a jam-taster, he has no rival! Yet 
 I scarcely think 
 
 But here the discussion became general : and 
 his words were lost in a confused medley of 
 names, every guest sounding the praises of his 
 own favorite jam. At length, through the 
 din, our host's voice made itself heard. " Let 
 us join the ladies ! " These words seemed to 
 recall me to waking life ; and I felt sure that, 
 for the last few minutes, I had relapsed into 
 the ' eerie ' state. 
 
 " A strange dream ! " I said to myself as we 
 trooped upstairs. " Grown men discussing, as 
 seriously as if they were matters of life and 
 death, the hopelessly trivial details of mere 
 delicacies, that appeal to no higher human 
 function than the nerves of the tongue and 
 palate ! What a humiliating spectacle such a 
 discussion would be in waking life ! " 
 
 When, on our way to the drawing-room, I 
 received from the housekeeper my little friends, 
 clad in the daintiest of evening costumes, and 
 looking, in the flush of expectant delight, more 
 radiantly beautiful than I had ever seen them
 
 152 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 before, I felt no shock of surprise, but accepted 
 the fact with the same unreasoning apathy with 
 which one meets the events of a dream, and 
 was merely conscious of a vague anxiety as to 
 how they would acquit themselves in so novel 
 
 a scene forgetting that Court-life in Outland 
 
 was as good training as they could need for 
 Society in the more substantial world. 
 
 It would be best, I thought, to introduce 
 them as soon as possible to some good-natured 
 lady-guest, and I selected the young lady whose 
 piano-forte-playing had been so much talked of. 
 " I am sure you like children," I said. " May 
 I introduce two little friends of mine ? This is 
 
 Sylvie and this is Bruno." 
 
 The young lady kissed Sylvie very graciously. 
 She would have done the same for Bruno, but 
 he hastily drew back out of reach. " Their 
 faces are new to me," she said. " Where do 
 you come from, my dear ?" 
 
 I had not anticipated so inconvenient a 
 question ; and, fearing that it might embarrass 
 Sylvie, I answered for her. " They come from 
 some distance. They are only here just for 
 this one evening."
 
 x] JABBERING AND JAM. 153 
 
 " How far have you come, dear ? " the young 
 lady persisted. 
 
 Sylvie looked puzzled. " A mile or two, I 
 think" she said doubtfully. 
 
 " A mile or three" said Bruno. 
 
 " You shouldn't say ' a mile or three] " Sylvie 
 corrected him. 
 
 The young lady nodded approval. " Sylvie's 
 quite right. It isn't usual to say ' a mile or 
 three: " 
 
 " It would be usual if we said it often 
 
 enough," said Bruno. 
 
 It was the young lady's turn to look puzzled 
 now. " He's very quick, for his age ! " she 
 murmured. " You're not more than seven, are 
 you, dear ? " she added aloud. 
 
 ''I'm not so many as that" said Bruno. 
 " I'm one. Sylvie's one. Sylvie and me is 
 two. Sylvie taught me to count." 
 
 " Oh, I wasn't counting you, you know ! " 
 the young lady laughingly replied. 
 
 " Hasn't oo learnt to count ? " said Bruno. 
 
 The young lady bit her lip. " Dear ! What 
 embarrassing questions he does ask ! " she said 
 in a half-audible ' aside.'
 
 154 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Bruno, you shouldn't ! " Sylvie said re- 
 provingly. 
 
 "Shouldn't what?" said Bruno. 
 
 " You shouldn't ask that sort of questions." 
 
 " What sort of questions?" Bruno mis- 
 chievously persisted. 
 
 " What she told you not," Sylvie replied, 
 with a shy glance at the young lady, and losing 
 all sense of grammar in her confusion. 
 
 " Oo ca'n't pronounce it ! " Bruno triumph- 
 antly cried. And he turned to the young lady, 
 for sympathy in his victory. " I knewed she 
 couldn't pronounce ' umbrella-sting ' ! " 
 
 The young lady thought it best to return to 
 the arithmetical problem. " When I asked if 
 you were seven, you know, I didn't mean 
 ' how many children ? ' I meant ' how many 
 years ' 
 
 " Only got two ears," said Bruno. " Nobody's 
 got seven ears." 
 
 "And you belong to this little girl?" the 
 young lady continued, skilfully evading the 
 anatomical problem. 
 
 "No, I doosn't belong to her!" said Bruno. 
 "Sylvie belongs to me!" And he clasped
 
 x] JABBERING AND JAM. 155 
 
 his arms round her as he added " She are my 
 very mine ! " 
 
 " And, do you know," said the young lady, 
 " I've a little sister at home, exactly \ikeyour 
 sister ? I'm sure they'd love each other." 
 
 " They'd be very extremely useful to each 
 other," Bruno said, thoughtfully. "And they 
 wouldn't want no looking-glasses to brush their 
 hair wiz." 
 
 "Why not, my child ?" 
 
 " Why, each one would do for the other one's 
 looking-glass, a-course ! " cried Bruno. 
 
 But here Lady Muriel, who had been stand- 
 ing by, listening to this bewildering dialogue, 
 interrupted it to ask if the young lady would 
 favour us with some music ; and the children 
 followed their new friend to the piano. 
 
 Arthur came and sat down by me. "If 
 rumour speaks truly," he whispered, " we are to 
 have a real treat ! " And then, amid a breath- 
 less silence, the performance began. 
 
 She was one of those players whom Society 
 talks of as ' brilliant,' and she dashed into the 
 loveliest of Haydn's Symphonies in a style that 
 was clearly the outcome of years of patient
 
 156 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 study under the best masters. At first it 
 seemed to be the perfection of piano-forte- 
 playing ; but in a few minutes I began to ask 
 myself, wearily, " What is it that is wanting ? 
 Why does one get no pleasure from it ? " 
 
 Then I set myself to listen intently to 
 every note ; and the mystery explained itself. 
 There was an almost-perfect mechanical cor- 
 rectness and there was nothing else ! False 
 
 notes, of course, did not occur : she knew the 
 piece too well for that; but there was just 
 enough irregularity of time to betray that the 
 
 player had no real ' ear ' for music just 
 
 enough inarticulateness in the more elaborate 
 passages to show that she did not think her 
 
 audience worth taking real pains for just 
 
 enough mechanical monotony of accent to take 
 all soul out of the heavenly modulations she 
 was profaning in short, it was simply irritat- 
 ing ; and, when she had rattled off the finale 
 and had struck the final chord as if, the instru- 
 ment being now done with, it didn't matter 
 how many wires she broke, I could not even 
 affect to join in the stereotyped " Oh, thank 
 you ! " which was chorused around me.
 
 x] JABBERING AND JAM. 157 
 
 Lady Muriel joined us for a moment. 
 " Isn't it beautiful ? " she whispered, to Arthur, 
 with a mischievous smile. 
 
 " No, it isn't ! " said Arthur. But the gentle 
 sweetness of his face quite neutralised the 
 apparent rudeness of the reply. 
 
 " Such execution, you know ! " she persisted. 
 
 " That's what she deserves" Arthur doggedly 
 replied : " but people are so prejudiced against 
 capital 
 
 " Now you're beginning to talk nonsense ! " 
 Lady Muriel cried. " But you do like Music, 
 don't you ? You said so just now." 
 
 " Do I like Music ? " the Doctor repeated 
 softly to himself. " My dear Lady Muriel, 
 there is Music and Music. Your question is 
 painfully vague. You might as well ask ' Do 
 you like People ? ' " 
 
 Lady Muriel bit her lip, frowned, and 
 stamped with one tiny foot. As a dramatic 
 representation of ill-temper, it was distinctly 
 not a success. However, it took in one of her 
 audience, and Bruno hastened to interpose, as 
 peacemaker in a rising quarrel, with the remark 
 " / likes Peoples ! "
 
 158 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Arthur laid a loving hand on the little curly 
 head. " What ? All Peoples ? " he enquired. 
 
 " Not all Peoples," Bruno explained. " Only 
 
 but Sylvie and Lady Muriel and him 
 
 (pointing to the Earl) " and oo and oo ! " 
 
 " You shouldn't point at people,' said Sylvie. 
 <l It's very rude." 
 
 " In Bruno's World," I said, " there are only 
 four People worth mentioning ! " 
 
 "In Bruno's World !" Lady Muriel repeated 
 thoughtfully. " A bright and flowery world. 
 Where the grass is always green, where the 
 breezes always blow softly, and the rain-clouds 
 never gather ; where there are no wild beasts, 
 and no deserts 
 
 " There must be deserts," Arthur decisively 
 remarked. " At least if it was my ideal world." 
 
 " But what possible use is there in a desert? 1 
 said Lady Muriel. " Surely you would have 
 no wilderness in your ideal world ? " 
 
 Arthur smiled. " But indeed I would f" he 
 said. " A wilderness would be more necessary 
 than a railway ; and far more conducive to 
 general happiness than church-bells ! " 
 
 " But what would you use it for ? "
 
 X] JABBERING AND JAM. 159 
 
 " To practise music in" he replied. " All the 
 young ladies, that have no ear for music, but 
 insist on learning it, should be conveyed, 
 every morning, two or three miles into the 
 wilderness. There each would find a comfort- 
 able room provided for her, and also a cheap 
 second-hand piano-forte, on which she might 
 play for hours, without adding one needless 
 pang to the sum of human misery ! " 
 
 Lady Muriel glanced round in alarm, lest 
 these barbarous sentiments should be over- 
 heard. But the fair musician was at a safe 
 distance. " At any rate you must allow that 
 she's a sweet girl ? " she resumed. 
 
 " Oh, certainly. As sweet as eau sucrfa, if 
 you choose and nearly as interesting ! " 
 
 " You are incorrigible ! " said Lady Muriel, 
 and turned to me. " I hope you found Mrs. 
 Mills an interesting companion ?" 
 
 " Oh, that's her name, is it ? " I said. " I 
 fancied there was more of it." 
 
 " So there is : and it will be ' at your proper 
 peril ' (whatever that may mean) if you ever 
 presume to address her as ' Mrs. Mills.' She 
 is 'Mrs. Ernest Atkinson Mills'!
 
 160 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " She is one of those would-be grandees," 
 said Arthur, " who think that, by tacking on to 
 their surname all their spare Christian-names, 
 with hyphens between, they can give it an 
 aristocratic flavour. As if it wasn't trouble 
 enough to remember one surname ! " 
 
 By this time the room was getting crowded, 
 as the guests, invited for the evening-party, 
 were beginning to arrive, and Lady Muriel 
 had to devote herself to the task of welcoming 
 them, which she did with the sweetest grace 
 imaginable. Sylvie and Bruno stood by her, 
 deeply interested in the process. 
 
 " I hope you like my friends ? " she said to 
 them. " Specially my dear old friend, Mein 
 Herr (What's become of him, I wonder ? 
 Oh, there he is !), that old gentleman in 
 spectacles, with a long beard ? " 
 
 " He's a grand old gentleman ! " Sylvie said, 
 gazing admiringly at ' Mein Herr,' who had 
 settled down in a corner, from which his mild 
 eyes beamed on us through a gigantic pair of 
 spectacles. " And what a lovely beard ! " 
 
 " What does he call his-self ? " Bruno 
 whispered.
 
 xj JABBERING AND JAM. 161 
 
 "He calls himself ' Mein Herr,'" Sylvie 
 whispered in reply. 
 
 Bruno shook his head impatiently. " That's 
 what he calls his hair, not his self, oo silly ! " 
 He appealed to me. " What doos he call his 
 self, Mister Sir ? " 
 
 " That's the only name / know of," I said. 
 11 But he looks very lonely. Don't you pity his 
 grey hairs ? " 
 
 " I pities his self," said Bruno, still harping 
 on the misnomer; "but I doosn't pity his 
 hair, one bit. His hair ca'n't feel ! " 
 
 " We met him this afternoon," said Sylvie. 
 " We'd been to see Nero, and we'd had such 
 fun with him, making him invisible again ! 
 And we saw that nice old gentleman as we 
 came back." 
 
 "Well, let's go and talk to him, and cheer 
 him up a little," I said : '' and perhaps we 
 shall find out what he calls himself," 
 
 M
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 THE MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 THE children came willingly. With one of 
 them on each side of me, I approached the 
 corner occupied by ' Mein Herr.' " You 
 don't object to children, I hope ? " I began. 
 
 " Crabbed age and youth cannot live to- 
 gether ! " the old man cheerfully replied, with 
 a most genial smile. " Now take a good look 
 at me, my children ! You would guess me to 
 be an old man, wouldn't you ? " 
 
 At first sight, though his face had reminded 
 me so mysteriously of " the Professor/' he 
 had seemed to be decidedly a younger man :
 
 XI] 
 
 THE MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 163 
 
 but, when I came to look into the wonderful 
 depth of those large dreamy eyes, I felt, 
 with a strange sense of awe, that he was in- 
 calculably older : he seemed to gaze at us 
 out of some by-gone age, centuries away. 
 
 " I don't know if oo're an old man," Bruno 
 answered, as the children, won over by the 
 gentle voice, crept a little closer to him. " I 
 thinks oo're eighty-three'' 
 
 M 2
 
 164 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " He is very exact ! " said Mein Herr. 
 
 "Is he anything like right ? " I said. 
 
 "There are reasons," Mein Herr gently 
 replied, " reasons which I am not at liberty 
 to explain, for not mentioning definitely any 
 Persons, Places, or Dates. One remark only 
 
 I will permit myself to make that the 
 
 period of life, between the ages of a hundred- 
 and-sixty-five and a hundred-and-seventy-five, 
 is a specially safe one." 
 
 "How do you make that out?" I said. 
 
 " Thus. You would consider swimming to 
 be a very safe amusement, if you scarcely 
 ever heard of any one dying of it. Am I 
 not right in thinking that you never heard of 
 any one dying between those two ages ? " 
 
 "I see what you mean," I said : "but I'm 
 afraid you ca'n't prove swimming to be safe, 
 on the same principle. It is no uncommon 
 thing to hear of some one being drowned" 
 
 "In my country," said Mein Herr, "no 
 one is ever drowned." 
 
 "Is there no water deep enough ? " 
 
 " Plenty ! But we ca'n't sink. We are all 
 lighter than water. Let me explain," he added,
 
 XI] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 165 
 
 seeing my look of surprise. " Suppose you 
 desire a race of pigeons of a particular shape 
 or colour, do you not select, from year to 
 year, those that are nearest to the shape or 
 colour you want, and keep those, and part 
 with the others ? " 
 
 "We do," I replied. "We call it 'Arti- 
 ficial Selection." 
 
 " Exactly so," said Mein Herr. " Well, we 
 have practised that for some centuries con- 
 stantly selecting the lightest people : so that, 
 now, everybody is lighter than water." 
 
 " Then you never can be drowned at sea ?" 
 " Never ! It is only on the land for in- 
 stance, when attending a play in a theatre 
 that we are in such a danger. 
 
 "How can that happen at a theatre ? " 
 "Our theatres are all underground. Large 
 tanks of water are placed above. If a fire 
 breaks out, the taps are turned, and in one 
 minute the theatre is flooded, up to the very 
 roof! Thus the fire is extinguished." 
 " And the audience, I presume ? " 
 "That is a minor matter," Mein Herr care- 
 lessly replied. " But they have the comfort of
 
 166 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 knowing that, whether drowned or not, they 
 are all lighter than water. We have not yet 
 reached the standard of making people lighter 
 than air : but we are aiming at it ; and, in 
 another thousand years or so 
 
 " What doos oo do wiz the peoples that's 
 too heavy ? " Bruno solemnly enquired. 
 
 " We have applied the same process," Mein 
 Herr continued, not noticing Bruno's ques- 
 tion, " to many other purposes. We have 
 
 gone on selecting walking-sticks always 
 
 keeping those that walked best till' we have 
 
 obtained some, that can walk by themselves ! 
 We have gone on selecting cotton-wool, till we 
 have got some lighter than air ! You've no 
 idea what a useful material it is ! We call 
 it ' Imponderal.' ' 
 
 '' What do you use it for ? " 
 
 "Well, chiefly for packing articles, to go 
 by Parcel-Post. It makes them weigh less 
 than nothing, you know." 
 
 " And how do the Post-Office people know 
 what you have to pay ? ' 
 
 "That's the beauty of the new system!" 
 Mein Herr cried exultingly. "They pay us:
 
 xi] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 167 
 
 we don't pay them ! I've often got as much 
 as five shillings for sending a parcel." 
 
 " But doesn't your Government object ? " 
 
 "Well, they do object, a little. They say 
 it comes so expensive, in the long run. But 
 the thing's as clear as daylight, by their own 
 rules. If I send a parcel, that weighs a 
 pound more than nothing, I pay three-pence : 
 so, of course, if it weighs a pound less than 
 nothing, I ought to receive three-pence." 
 
 "It is indeed a useful article ! " I said. 
 
 " Yet even ' Imponderal ' has its disadvan- 
 tages," he resumed. " I bought some, a few 
 days ago, and put it into my hat, to carry it 
 home, and the hat simply floated away ! " 
 
 " Had oo some of that funny stuff in oor hat 
 today?" Bruno enquired. " Sylvie and me 
 saw oo in the road, and oor hat were ever so 
 high up ! Weren't it, Sylvie ? " 
 
 " No, that was quite another thing," said 
 Mein Herr. " There was a drop or two of 
 rain falling : so I put my hat on the top of 
 
 my stick as an umbrella, you know. As I 
 
 came along the road," he continued, turning 
 to me, " I was overtaken by "
 
 168 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 a shower of rain ? " said Bruno. 
 
 " Well, it looked more like the tail of a dog," 
 Mein Herr replied. " It was the most curious 
 thing ! Something rubbed affectionately against 
 my knee. And I looked down. And I could 
 see nothing ! Only, about a yard off, there was 
 a dog's tail, wagging, all by itself! " 
 
 "Oh, Sylvie /" Bruno murmured reproach- 
 fully. " Oo didn't finish making him visible ! " 
 
 "I'm so sorry!" Sylvie said, looking very 
 penitent. " I meant to rub it along his back, 
 but we were in such a hurry. We'll go and 
 finish him tomorrow. Poor thing ! Perhaps 
 he'll get no supper tonight ! " 
 
 " Course he won't ! " said Bruno. " Nobody 
 never gives bones to a dog's tail ! " 
 
 Mein Herr looked from one to the other in 
 blank astonishment. " I do not understand 
 you," he said. " I had lost my way, and I was 
 consulting a pocket-map, and somehow I had 
 dropped one of my gloves, and this invisible 
 Something, that had rubbed against my knee, 
 actually brought it back to me ! " 
 
 " Course he did ! " said Bruno. " He's 
 welly fond of fetching things."
 
 xi] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 169 
 
 Mein Herr looked so thoroughly bewildered 
 that I thought it best to change the subject. 
 " What a useful thing a pocket-map is ! " I 
 remarked. 
 
 " That's another thing we've learned from 
 
 your Nation," said Mein Herr, " map-making. 
 
 But we've carried it much further than you. 
 
 What do you consider the largest map that 
 
 would be really useful ? " 
 
 " About six inches to the mile. ' 
 
 " Only six inches ! " exclaimed Mein Herr. 
 " We very soon got to six yards to the mile. 
 Then we tried a hundred yards to the mile. 
 And then came the grandest idea of all ! We 
 actually made a map of the country, on the 
 scale of a mile to the mile ! ' ' 
 
 " Have you used it much ? " I enquired. 
 
 "It has never been spread out, yet," said 
 Mein Herr : " the farmers objected : they said 
 it would cover the whole country, and shut out 
 the sunlight ! So we now use the country it- 
 self, as its own map, and I assure you it does 
 nearly as well. Now let me ask you another 
 question. What is the smallest world you 
 would care to inhabit ? "
 
 170 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "/ know!" cried Bruno, who was listening 
 intently. " I'd like a little teeny-tiny world, 
 just big enough for Sylvie and me ! " 
 
 " Then you would have to stand on opposite 
 sides of it," said Mein Herr. " And so you 
 would never see your sister at all /" 
 
 "And I'd have no lessons" said Bruno. 
 
 " You don't mean to say you've been trying 
 experiments in that direction ! " I said. 
 
 " Well, not experiments exactly. We do not 
 profess to construct planets. But a scientific 
 friend of mine, who has made several balloon- 
 voyages, assures me he has visited a planet so 
 small that he could walk right round it in 
 twenty minutes ! There had been a great 
 battle, just before his visit, which had ended 
 rather oddly : the vanquished army ran away 
 at full speed, and in a very few minutes found 
 themselves face-to-face with the victorious 
 army, who were marching home again, and 
 who were so frightened at finding themselves 
 between two armies, that they surrendered at 
 once ! Of course that lost them the battle, 
 though, as a matter of fact, they had killed all 
 the soldiers on the other side."
 
 xi] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 171 
 
 " Killed soldiers cdrit run away," Bruno 
 thoughtfully remarked. 
 
 " ' Killed ' is a technical word," replied Mein 
 Herr. "In the little planet I speak of, the 
 bullets were made of soft black stuff, which 
 marked everything it touched. So, after a 
 battle, all you had to do was to count how 
 many soldiers on each side were ' killed '- 
 that means ' marked on the back? for marks in 
 front didn't count." 
 
 " Then you couldn't ' kill ' any, unless they 
 ran away ? " I said. 
 
 " My scientific friend found out a better 
 plan than that. He pointed out that, if only 
 the bullets were sent the other way round the 
 world, they would hit the enemy in the back. 
 After that, the worst marksmen were consid- 
 ered the best soldiers ; and the very worst of 
 all always got First Prize." 
 
 "And how did you decide which was the 
 very worst of all ? " 
 
 " Easily. The best possible shooting is, you 
 know, to hit what is exactly in front of you : 
 so of course the worst possible is to hit what 
 is exactly behind you."
 
 172 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " They were strange people in that little 
 planet !" I said. 
 
 " They were indeed ! Perhaps their method 
 of government was the strangest of all. In 
 this planet, I am told, a Nation consists of a 
 number of Subjects, and one King : but, in 
 the little planet I speak of, it consisted of a 
 number of Kings, and one Subject ! " 
 
 " You say you are ' told ' what happens in 
 this planet," I said. "May I venture to guess 
 that you yourself are a visitor from some other 
 planet ? " 
 
 Bruno clapped his hands in his excitement. 
 " Is oo the Man-in-the-Moon ?" he cried. 
 
 Mein Herr looked uneasy. " I am not in 
 the Moon, my child," he said evasively. " To 
 return to what I was saying. I think that 
 method of government ought to answer well. 
 You see, the Kings would be sure to make 
 Laws contradicting each other : so the Subject 
 could never be punished, because, whatever he 
 did, he'd be obeying some Law." 
 
 " And, whatever he did, he'd be ^obeying 
 some Law ! " cried Bruno. " So he'd always 
 be punished ! "
 
 xi] THE MAN IN THE MOON. 173 
 
 Lady Muriel was passing at the moment, and 
 caught the last word. " Nobody's going to 
 be punished here ! " she said, taking Bruno 
 in her arms. " This is Liberty-Hall ! Would 
 you lend me the children for a minute ? " 
 
 " The children desert us, you see," I said to 
 Mein Herr, as she carried them off: " so we 
 old folk must keep each other company ! " 
 
 The old man sighed. " Ah, well ! We're old 
 folk now ; and yet I was a child myself, once 
 at least I fancy so.' 
 
 It did seem a rather unlikely fancy, I could 
 
 not help owning to myself looking at the 
 
 shaggy white hair, and the long beard that 
 
 he could ever have been a child. " You are 
 fond of young people ? " I said. 
 
 " Young men" he replied. " Not of children 
 
 exactly. I used to teach young men many 
 
 a year ago in my dear old University ! " 
 
 " I didn't quite catch its name ? " I hinted. 
 
 " I did not name it," the old man replied 
 mildly. " Nor would you know the name if I 
 did. Strange tales I could tell you of all the 
 changes I have witnessed there ! But it would 
 weary you, I fear."
 
 174 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " No, indeed! " I said. " Pray go on. What 
 kind of changes ? " 
 
 But the old man seemed to be more in a 
 humour for questions than for answers. " Tell 
 me," he said, laying his hand impressively on 
 my arm, " tell me something. For I am a 
 stranger in your land, and I know little of yoiir 
 modes of education : yet something tells me 
 we are further on than you in the eternal cycle 
 
 of change and that many a theory we have 
 
 tried and found to fail, you also will try, with 
 a wilder enthusiasm : you also will find to fail, 
 with a bitterer despair ! " 
 
 It was strange to see how, as he talked, and 
 his words flowed more and more freely, with a 
 certain rhythmic eloquence, his features seemed 
 to glow with an inner light, and the whole man 
 seemed to be transformed, as if he had grown 
 fifty years younger in a moment of time.
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 FAIRY-MUSIC. 
 
 THE silence that ensued was broken by the 
 voice of the musical young lady, who had seated 
 herself near us, and was conversing- with one of 
 the newly-arrived guests. " Well ! " she said in 
 a tone of scornful surprise. " We are to have 
 something new in the way of music, it appears ! " 
 
 I looked round for an explanation, and was 
 nearly as much astonished as the speaker her- 
 self : it was Sylvie whom Lady Muriel was 
 leading to the piano ! 
 
 "Do try it, my darling!" she was saying. 
 "I'm sure you can play very nicely ! "
 
 176 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Sylvie looked round at me, with tears in her 
 eyes. I tried to give her an encouraging 
 smile, but it was evidently a great strain on the 
 nerves of a child so wholly unused to be made 
 an exhibition of, and she was frightened and 
 unhappy. Yet here came out the perfect sweet- 
 ness of her disposition : I could see that she 
 was resolved to forget herself, and do her best 
 to give pleasure to Lady Muriel and her friends. 
 She seated herself at the instrument, and began 
 instantly. Time and expression, so far as one 
 could judge, were perfect : but her touch was 
 one of such extraordinary lightness that it was 
 at first scarcely possible, through the hum of 
 conversation which still continued, to catch a 
 note of what she was playing. 
 
 But in a minute the hum had died away into 
 absolute silence, and we all sat, entranced and 
 breathless, to listen to such heavenly music as 
 none then present could ever forget. 
 
 Hardly touching the notes at first, she played 
 
 a sort of introduction in a minor key like an 
 
 embodied twilight ; one felt as though the lights 
 were growing dim, and a mist were creeping 
 through the room. Then there flashed through
 
 Xii] FAIRY-MUSIC. 177 
 
 the gathering gloom the first few notes of a 
 melody so lovely, so delicate, that one held 
 one's breath, fearful to lose a single note of it. 
 Ever and again the music dropped into the 
 pathetic minor key with which it had begun, 
 and, each time that the melody forced its way, 
 so to speak, through the enshrouding gloom 
 into the light of day, it was more entrancing, 
 more magically sweet. Under the airy touch 
 of the child, the instrument actually seemed 
 to warble, like a bird. " Rise up, my love, my 
 fair one" it seemed to sing, " and come away ! 
 For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and 
 gone ; the flowers appear on the earth ; the time 
 of the singing of birds is come ! " One could 
 fancy one heard the tinkle of the last few 
 drops, shaken from the trees by a passing 
 
 gust that one saw the first glittering rays 
 
 of the sun, breaking through the clouds. 
 
 The Count hurried across the room in great 
 excitement. " I cannot remember myself," he 
 exclaimed, " of the name of this so charming 
 an air ! It is of an opera, most surely. Yet 
 not even will the opera remind his name to 
 me ! What you call him, dear child ? " 
 
 N
 
 178 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Sylvie looked round at him with a rapt ex- 
 pression of face. She had ceased playing, but 
 her fingers still wandered fitfully over the keys. 
 All fear and shyness had quite passed away 
 now, and nothing remained but the pure joy 
 of the music that had thrilled our hearts. 
 
 " The title of it ! " the Count repeated im- 
 patiently. " How call you the opera ? " 
 
 " I don't know what an opera -is," Sylvie 
 half- whispered.
 
 xn] FAIRY-MUSIC. 179 
 
 " How, then, call you the air ? " 
 
 " I don't know any name for it," Sylvie 
 replied, as she rose from the instrument. 
 
 " But this is marvellous ! " exclaimed the 
 Count, following the child, and addressing 
 himself to me, as if I were the proprietor of 
 this musical prodigy, and so must know the 
 origin of her music. "You have heard her 
 
 play this, sooner -I would say ' before this 
 
 occasion ' ? How call you the air ? " 
 
 I shook my head ; but was saved from more 
 questions by Lady Muriel, who came up to 
 petition the Count for a song. 
 
 The Count spread out his hands apologeti- 
 cally, and ducked his head. " But, Milady, I 
 have already respected 1 would say pro- 
 spected all your songs ; and there shall be 
 
 none fitted to my voice ! They are not for 
 basso voices ! " 
 
 " Wo'n't you look at them again ? " Lady 
 Muriel implored. 
 
 " Let's help him ! " Bruno whispered to 
 Sylvie. " Let's get him you know ! " 
 
 Sylvie nodded. " Shall we look for a song 
 for you ? " she said sweetly to the Count. 
 
 N 7.
 
 i8o SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "Mais oui I " the little man exclaimed. 
 
 " Of course we may ! " said Bruno, while, 
 each taking a hand of the delighted Count, 
 they led him to the music-stand. 
 
 " There is still hope ! " said Lady Muriel 
 over her shoulder, as she followed them. 
 
 I turned to ' Mein Herr,' hoping to resume 
 our interrupted conversation. " You were re- 
 marking I began : but at this moment 
 Sylvie came to call Bruno, who had returned 
 to my side, looking unusually serious. " Do 
 come, Bruno ! " she entreated. " You know r 
 we've nearly found it ! " Then, in a whisper, 
 " The locket's in my hand, now. I couldn't 
 get it out while they were looking ! " 
 
 But Bruno drew back. " The man called 
 me names," he said with dignity. 
 
 " What names ? " I enquired with some 
 curiosity. 
 
 "I asked him," said Bruno, "which sort of 
 song he liked. And he said ' A song of a 
 man, not of a lady.' And I said ' Shall Syl- 
 vie and me find you the song of Mister Tot- 
 ties ?' And he said 'Wait, eel!' And I'm 
 not an eel, oo know ! "
 
 xn] FAIRY-MUSIC. 181 
 
 " I'm sure he didn't mean it ! " Sylvie said 
 
 earnestly. "It's something French you 
 
 know he can't talk English so well as 
 
 Bruno relented visibly. " Course he knows 
 no better, if he's Flench ! Flenchmen never 
 can speak English so goodly as us ! " And 
 Sylvie led him away, a willing captive. 
 
 " Nice children ! " said the old man, taking 
 off his spectacles and rubbing them carefully. 
 Then he put them on again, and watched with 
 an approving smile, while the children tossed 
 over the heap of music, and we just caught 
 Sylvie's reproving words, " We're not making 
 hay, Bruno ! " 
 
 "This has been a long interruption to our 
 conversation," I said. " Pray let us go on ! " 
 
 " Willingly ! " replied the gentle old man. 
 " I was much interested in what you 
 He paused a moment, and passed his hand 
 uneasily across his brow. " One forgets," he 
 murmured. " W T hat was I saying ? Oh ! Some- 
 thing you were to tell me. Yes. Which of 
 your teachers do you value the most highly, 
 those whose words are easily understood, or 
 those who puzzle you at every turn ? "
 
 182 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 I felt obliged to admit that we generally 
 admired most the teachers we couldn't quite 
 understand. 
 
 " Just so," said Mein Herr. " That's the 
 way it begins. Well, we were at that stage 
 
 some eighty years ago or was it ninety ? Our 
 
 favourite teacher got more obscure every year ; 
 
 and every year we admired him more just 
 
 as your Art-fanciers call mist the fairest feature 
 in a landscape, and admire a view with frantic 
 delight when they can see nothing! Now I'll 
 tell you how it ended. It was Moral Philosophy 
 that our idol lectured on. Well, his pupils 
 couldn't make head or tail of it, but they got 
 it all by heart ; and, when Examination-time 
 came, they wrote it down ; and the Examiners 
 said ' Beautiful ! What depth ! ' " 
 
 "But what good was it to the young men 
 afterwards ? " 
 
 " Why, don't you see ? " replied Mein Herr. 
 " They became teachers in their turn, and they 
 said all these things over again ; and their 
 pupils wrote it all down ; and the Examiners 
 accepted it ; and nobody had the ghost of an 
 idea what it all meant ! "
 
 xii] FAIRY-MUSIC. 183 
 
 "And how did it end?" 
 
 "It ended this way. We woke up one fine 
 day, and found there was no one in the place 
 that knew anything about Moral Philosophy. 
 So we abolished it, teachers, classes, examiners, 
 and all. And if any one wanted to learn any- 
 thing about it, he had to make it out for 
 himself; and after another twenty years or so 
 there were several men that really knew some- 
 thing about it ! Now tell me another thing. 
 How long do you teach a youth before you 
 examine him, in your Universities ? " 
 
 I told him, three or four years. 
 
 " Just so, just what we did ! " he exclaimed. 
 " We taught 'em a bit, and, just as they were 
 beginning to take it in, we took it all out again ! 
 We pumped our wells dry before they were a 
 
 quarter full we stripped our orchards while 
 
 the apples were still in blossom we applied 
 
 the severe logic of arithmetic to our chickens, 
 while peacefully slumbering in their shells ! 
 Doubtless it's the early bird that picks up the 
 
 worm but if the bird gets up so outrageously 
 
 early that the worm is still deep underground, 
 what then is its chance of a breakfast ? "
 
 184 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Not much, I admitted. 
 
 " Now see how that works ! " he went on 
 eagerly. "If you want to pump your wells 
 
 so soon and I suppose you tell me that is 
 
 what you must do ? " 
 
 " We must," I said. " In an over-crowded 
 country like this, nothing but Competitive 
 Examinations 
 
 Mein Herr threw up his hands wildly. 
 "What, again ?" he cried. " I thought it was 
 dead, fifty years ago ! Oh this Upas-tree of 
 Competitive Examinations ! Beneath whose 
 deadly shade all the original genius, all the 
 exhaustive research, all the untiring life-long 
 diligence by which our fore-fathers have so 
 advanced human knowledge, must slowly but 
 surely wither away, and give place to a sys- 
 tem of Cookery, in which the human mind is 
 a sausage, and all we ask is, how much indigest- 
 ible stuff can be crammed into it ! " 
 
 Always, after these bursts of eloquence, he 
 seemed to forget himself for a moment, and 
 only to hold on to the thread of thought by 
 some single word. " Yes, crammed," he re- 
 peated. "We went through all that stage of
 
 XII] FAIRY-MUSIC. 185 
 
 the disease had it bad, I warrant you ! Of 
 
 course, as the Examination was all in all, we 
 
 tried to put in just what was wanted and the 
 
 great thing to aim at was, that the Candidate 
 should know absolutely nothing beyond the 
 needs of the Examination ! I don't say it was 
 ever quite achieved : but one of my own pupils 
 (pardon an old man's egotism) came very near 
 it. After the Examination, he mentioned to 
 me the few facts which he knew but had not 
 been able to bring in, and I can assure you 
 they were trivial, Sir, absolutely trivial ! " 
 
 I feebly expressed my surprise and delight. 
 
 The old man bowed, with a gratified smile, 
 and proceeded. " At that time, no one had 
 hit on the much more rational plan of watch- 
 ing for the individual scintillations of genius, 
 and rewarding them as they occurred. As it 
 was, we made our unfortunate pupil into a 
 
 Leyden-jar, charged him up to the eyelids 
 
 then applied the knob of a Competitive Ex- 
 amination, and drew off one magnificent spark, 
 which very often cracked the jar ! What 
 mattered that ? We labeled it ' First Class 
 Spark,' and put it away on the shelf."
 
 186 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED 
 
 " But the more rational system - ? " I 
 suggested. 
 
 "Ah, yes! that came next. Instead of 
 giving the whole reward of learning in one 
 lump, we used to pay for every good answer as 
 it occurred. How well I remember lecturing 
 in those days, with a heap of small coins at my 
 elbow! It was 'A very good answer, Mr. 
 Jones ! ' (that meant a shilling, mostly). ' Bravo, 
 Mr. Robinson ! ' (that meant half-a-crown). 
 Now I'll tell you how that worked. Not one 
 single fact would any of them take in, without 
 a fee ! And when a clever boy came up from 
 school, he got paid more for learning than we 
 got paid for teaching him ! Then came the 
 wildest craze of all." 
 
 " What, another craze ? " I said. 
 
 "It's the last one," said the old man. " I 
 must have tired you out with my long story. 
 Each College wanted to get the clever boys : 
 so we adopted a system which we had heard 
 was very popular in England : the Colleges 
 competed against each other, and the boys 
 let themselves out to the highest bidder ! 
 What geese we were ! Why, they were bound
 
 xil] FAIRY-MUSIC. 187 
 
 to come to the University somehow. We 
 needn't have paid 'em ! And all our money 
 went in getting clever boys to come to one 
 College rather than another ! The competition 
 was so keen, that at last mere money-payments 
 were not enough. Any College, that wished 
 to secure some specially clever young man, 
 had to waylay him at the Station, and hunt 
 him through the streets. The first who 
 touched him was allowed to have him." 
 
 " That hunting-down of the scholars, as they 
 arrived, must have been a curious business," 
 I said. " Could you give me some idea of 
 what it was like ? " 
 
 " Willingly ! " said the old man. " I will 
 describe to you the very last Hunt that took 
 place, before that form of Sport (for it was 
 actually reckoned among the Sports of the 
 day: we called it 'Cub-Hunting') was finally 
 abandoned. 1 witnessed it myself, as I hap- 
 pened to be passing by at the moment, and 
 was what we called ' in at the death.' I can 
 see it now ! " he went on in an excited tone, 
 gazing into vacancy with those large dreamy 
 eyes of his. "It seems like yesterday ; and
 
 1 88 
 
 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 yet it happened He checked himself 
 
 hastily, and the remaining words died away 
 into a whisper. 
 
 "How many years ago did you say?" I 
 asked, much interested in the prospect of at 
 last learning some definite fact in his history. 
 
 " Many years ago," he replied. " The scene 
 at the Railway-Station had been (so they told 
 me) one of wild excitement. Eight or nine 
 Heads of Colleges had assembled at the gates 
 (no one was allowed inside), and the Station- 
 Master had drawn a line on the pavement, 
 and insisted on their all standing behind it.
 
 XII] 
 
 FAIRY-MUSIC. 
 
 189 
 
 The gates were flung open ! The young man 
 darted through them, and fled like lightning 
 down the street, while the Heads of Colleges 
 actually yelled with excitement on catching 
 sight of him ! The Proctor gave the word, 
 in the old statutory form, ' Seme I ! Bis ! Ter ! 
 Currite!\ and the Hunt began! Oh, it was 
 a fine sight, believe me ! At the first corner 
 he dropped his Greek Lexicon : further on, 
 his railway-rug : then various small articles :
 
 I 9 o SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 then his umbrella : lastly, what I suppose he 
 prized most, his hand-bag : but the game was 
 up : the spherical Principal of - of 
 
 "Of which College?" I said. 
 
 of one of the Colleges," he resumed, 
 
 "had put into operation the Theory his own 
 
 discovery of Accelerated Velocity, and cap- 
 tured him just opposite to where I stood. I 
 shall never forget that wild breathless struggle ! 
 But it was soon over. Once in those great 
 bony hands, escape was impossible ! " 
 
 " May I ask why you speak of him as the 
 ' spherical' Principal?" I said. 
 
 " The epithet referred to his shape, which 
 was a perfect sphere. You are aware that 
 a bullet, another instance of a perfect sphere, 
 when falling in a perfectly straight line, moves 
 with Accelerated Velocity ? " 
 
 I bowed assent. 
 
 " Well, my spherical friend (as I am proud 
 to call him) set himself to investigate the 
 causes of this. He found them to be three. 
 One ; that it is a perfect sphere. Two ; that 
 it moves in a straight line. Three ; that its 
 direction is not upwards. When these three
 
 xn] FAIRY-MUSIC. 191 
 
 conditions are fulfilled, you get Accelerated 
 Velocity." 
 
 " Hardly," I said : "' if you will excuse my 
 differing from you. Suppose we apply the 
 theory to horizontal motion. If a bullet is 
 fired horizontally, it 
 
 - it does not move in a straight line" 
 he quietly finished my sentence for me. 
 
 " I yield the point," I said. " What did 
 your friend do next ? " 
 
 " The next thing was to apply the theory, 
 as you rightly suggest, to horizontal motion. 
 But the moving body, ever tending to fall, 
 needs constant support, if it is to move in a 
 true horizontal line. ' What, then/ he asked 
 himself, ' will give constant support to a mov- 
 ing body ? ' And his answer was ' Human 
 legs ! ' That was the discovery that immor- 
 talised his name ! " 
 
 " His name being ? " I suggested. 
 
 " I had not mentioned it," was the gentle 
 reply of my most unsatisfactory informant. 
 " His next step was an obvious one. He 
 took to a diet of suet-dumplings, until his 
 body had become a perfect sphere. Then
 
 192 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 he went out for his first experimental run 
 which nearly cost him his life ! " 
 " How was 
 
 " Well, you see, he had no idea of the tre- 
 mendoiis new Force in Nature that he was 
 calling into play. He began too fast. In a 
 very few minutes he found himself moving at 
 a hundred miles an hour ! And, if he had 
 not had the presence of mind to charge into 
 the middle of a haystack (which he scattered 
 to the four winds) there can be no doubt that 
 he would have left the Planet he belonged to, 
 and gone right away into Space ! " 
 
 " And how came that to be the last of the 
 Cub- Hunts?" I enquired. 
 
 " Well, you see, it led to a rather scandal- 
 ous dispute between two of the Colleges. 
 Another Principal had laid his hand on the 
 young man, so nearly at the same moment 
 as the spherical one, that there was no know- 
 ing which had touched him first. The dispute 
 got into print, and did us no credit, and, in 
 short, Cub- Hunts came to an end. Now I'll 
 tell you what cured us of that wild craze of 
 ours, the bidding against each other, for the
 
 xil] FAIRY-MUSIC. 193 
 
 clever scholars, just as if they were articles 
 to be sold by auction ! Just when the craze 
 had reached its highest point, and when one 
 of the Colleges had actually advertised a 
 Scholarship of one thousand pounds per 
 annum, one of our tourists brought us the 
 
 manuscript of an old African legend 1 
 
 happen to have a copy of it in my pocket. 
 Shall I translate it for you ? " 
 
 " Pray go on," I said, though I felt I was 
 getting very sleepy.
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 
 
 MEIN Herr unrolled the manuscript, but, to 
 my great surprise, instead of reading it, he 
 began to sing it, in a rich mellow voice that 
 seemed to ring through the room. 
 
 " One thousand pounds per annuum 
 
 Is not so bad a figure, come ! " 
 
 Cried Tattles. "And I tell you, flat, 
 
 A man may marry well on that ! 
 
 To say ' the Husband needs the Wife ' 
 
 Is not the way to represent it. 
 
 The crowning joy of Woman s life 
 
 Is Man ! " said J^ottles (and he meant it}.
 
 xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 195 
 
 The blissful Honey-moon is past : 
 The Pair have settled down at last : 
 
 Mamma-in-laiv their home zvill share, 
 
 And make their happiness her care. 
 
 " Your income is an ample one ; 
 
 Go if, my children!" (And they went if). 
 
 "I rayther think this kind of fun 
 
 Wont last!" said Tottles (and lie meant if). 
 
 They took a little country-box- 
 
 A box at Covent Garden also: 
 
 They lived a life of double-knocks, 
 
 Acquaintances began to call so ; 
 
 Their London house zvas much the same 
 
 (It took three hundred, clear, to rent if): 
 
 " Life is a very jolly game ! " 
 
 Cried happy Tottles (and he meant if). 
 
 ' Contented with a frugal lot ' 
 (He always used that phrase at Gunters), 
 He bought a handy little yacht 
 A dozen serviceable Jmnters 
 The fishing of a Highland Loch 
 A sailing-boat to circumvent it 
 " The sounding- of that Gaelic ' och ' 
 Beats me ! " said Tottles (and he meant if)." 
 
 O 2
 
 196 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Here, with one of those convulsive starts 
 that wake one up in the very act of dropping 
 off to sleep, I became conscious that the deep 
 musical tones that thrilled me did not belong 
 to Mein Herr, but to the French Count. The 
 old man was still conning the manuscript. 
 
 " I beg your pardon for keeping you wait- 
 ing!" he said. " I was just making sure that 
 I knew the English for all the words. I am 
 quite ready now." And he read me the fol- 
 lowing Legend : 
 
 " In a city that stands in the very centre 
 of Africa, and is rarely visited by the casual 
 tourist, the people had always bought eggs 
 a daily necessary in a climate where egg-flip 
 
 was the usual diet from a Merchant who 
 
 came to their gates once a week. And the 
 people always bid wildly against each other : 
 so there was quite a lively auction every time 
 the Merchant came, and the last egg in his 
 basket used to fetch the value of two or three 
 camels, or thereabouts. And eggs got dearer 
 every week. And still they drank their egg- 
 flip, and wondered where all their money 
 went to.
 
 XIII] 
 
 WHAT TOTTLES MEANT 
 
 197 
 
 " And there came a day when they put their 
 heads together. And they understood what 
 donkeys they had been. 
 
 "And next day, when the Merchant came, 
 only one Man went forth. And he said ' Oh, 
 thou of the hook-nose and the goggle-eyes, 
 thou of the measureless beard, how much for 
 that lot of eggs ? '
 
 198 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " And the Merchant answered him ' I could 
 let thee have that lot at ten thousand piastres 
 the dozen.' 
 
 "And the Man chuckled inwardly, and said 
 ' Ten piastres the dozen I offer thee, and no 
 more, oh descendant of a distinguished grand- 
 father ! ' 
 
 "And the Merchant stroked his beard, and 
 said ' Hum ! I will await the coming of thy 
 friends.' So he waited. And the Man waited 
 with him. And they waited both together." 
 
 " The manuscript breaks off here," said 
 Mein Herr, as he rolled it up again; "but 
 it was enough to open our eyes. We saw 
 
 what simpletons we had been buying our 
 
 Scholars much as those ignorant savages 
 
 bought their eggs and the ruinous system 
 
 was abandoned. If only we could have aban- 
 doned, along with it, all the other fashions we 
 had borrowed from you, instead of carrying 
 them to their logical results ! But it was not 
 to be. What ruined my country, and drove 
 me from my home, was the introduction 
 
 into the Army, of all places of your theory 
 
 of Political Dichotomy ! "
 
 xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT, 199 
 
 "Shall I trouble you too much," I said, "if 
 I ask you to explain what you mean by ' the 
 Theory of Political Dichotomy ' ? " 
 
 " No trouble at all ! " was Mein Herr's most 
 courteous reply. " I quite enjoy talking, when 
 I get so good a listener. What started the 
 thing, with us, was the report brought to us, 
 by one of our most eminent statesmen, who 
 had stayed some time in England, of the way 
 affairs were managed there. It was a political 
 necessity (so he assured us, and we believed 
 him, though we had never discovered it till 
 that moment) that there should be two Parties, 
 in every affair and on every subject. In 
 Politics, the two Parties, which you had found 
 it necessary to institute, were called, he told 
 us, ' Whigs ' and ' Tories '." 
 
 " That must have been some time ago ? " 
 I remarked. 
 
 " It was some time ago," he admitted. 
 "And this was the way the affairs of the 
 British Nation were managed. (You will 
 correct me if I misrepresent it. I do but 
 repeat what our traveler told us.) These 
 two Parties which were in chronic hostility
 
 200 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 to each other took turns in conducting the 
 
 Government ; and the Party, that happened 
 not to be in power, was called the ' Opposition', 
 I believe ? " 
 
 " That is the right name," I said. " There 
 have always been, so long as we have had a 
 Parliament at all, two Parties, one ' in ', and 
 one 'out'." 
 
 "Well, the function of the 'Ins' (if I may 
 so call them) was to do the best they could 
 
 for the national welfare in such things as 
 
 making war or peace, commercial treaties, and 
 so forth ? " 
 
 (( Undoubtedly," I said. 
 
 "And the function of the 'Outs' was (so 
 our traveller assured us, though we were very 
 incredulous at first) to prevent the ' Ins ' from 
 succeeding in any of these things ? " 
 
 " To criticize and to amend their proceed- 
 ings," I corrected him. "It would be un- 
 patriotic to hinder the Government in doing 
 what was for the good of the Nation ! We 
 have always held a Patriot to be the greatest 
 of heroes, and an unpatriotic spirit to be one 
 of the worst of human ills ! "
 
 xni] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 201 
 
 "Excuse me for a moment," the old gentle- 
 man courteously replied, taking out his pocket- 
 book. " I have a few memoranda here, of a 
 correspondence I had with our tourist, and, 
 if you will allow me, I'll just refresh my mem- 
 ory although I quite agree with you it 
 
 is, as you say, one of the worst of human 
 ills And, here Mein Herr began singing 
 
 again : 
 
 But oh, the worst of human ills 
 (Poor Tottles found} are ' little bills ' ! 
 And, with no balance in the Bank, 
 What wonder that his spirits sank? 
 Still, as the money flozved away, 
 He wondered how on earth she spent it, 
 " You cost me tiventy pounds a day, 
 At least ! " cried Tottles (and he meant it]. 
 
 Slie sighed. " TJwse Draiving Rooms, you know! 
 I really never thought about it : 
 Mamma declared we ought to go 
 We should be Nobodies without it. 
 That diamond-circlet for my brow 
 
 / quite believed that she had sent it, 
 Until tJie Bill came in just noiv 
 "Viper!" cried Tottles (and Jie meant it}.
 
 202 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Poor Mrs, T. could bear no more, 
 
 But fainted flat upon the floor. 
 
 Mamma-in-laiv, with anguish wild, 
 
 Seeks, all in vain, to rouse her child. 
 
 " Quick ! Take this box of smelling-salts ! 
 
 Dont scold her, James, or you'll repent it, 
 
 She's a dear girl, with all her fait Its 
 
 " She is ! " groaned Tattles (and he meant it]. 
 
 " I was a donkey" Tottles cried, 
 
 " To choose your daughter for my bride ! 
 
 ' Twas you that bid us cut a dash ! 
 
 ' Tis you have brougJtt us to this smash ! 
 
 You don't suggest one single thing 
 
 That can in any ivay prevent it - 
 
 Then whafs the use of arguing? 
 
 Shut up ! " cried Tottles (and he meant it}. 
 
 Once more I started into wakefulness, and 
 realised that Mein Herr was not the singer. 
 He was still consulting his memoranda. 
 
 " It is exactly what my friend told me," he 
 resumed, after conning over various papers. 
 "'Unpatriotic' is the very word I had used, 
 in writing to him, and ''hinder' is the very 
 word he used in his reply ! Allow me to read 
 you a portion of his letter :
 
 xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 203 
 
 "'/ can assure you' he writes, 'that, un- 
 patriotic as yoit may think it, the recognised 
 function of the ' Opposition ' is to hinder, in 
 every manner not forbidden by the Law, the 
 action of the Government. This process is 
 called ' Legitimate Obstruction ' : and the great- 
 est triumph the ' Opposition ' can ever enjoy, 
 is when they are able to point out that, owing 
 to their ' Obstruction ', the Government have 
 failed in everything they have tried to do for 
 the good of the Nation ! ' 
 
 " Your friend has not put it quite correctly," 
 I said. "The Opposition would no doubt be 
 glad to point out that the Government had 
 failed through their own fault ; but not that 
 they had failed on account of Obstruction ! " 
 
 " You think so ?" he gently replied. " Allow 
 me now to read to you this newspaper-cutting, 
 which my friend enclosed in his letter. It is 
 part of the report of a public speech, made 
 by a Statesman who was at the time a mem- 
 ber of the ' Opposition ' : 
 
 " ' At the close of the Session, he thought 
 they had no reason to be discontented with the
 
 204 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 fortunes of the campaign. They had routed 
 the enemy at every point. But the pursuit 
 must be continued. They had only to follow 
 up a disordered and dispirited foe. ' ' 
 
 " Now to what portion of your national 
 history would you guess that the speaker 
 was referring ? " 
 
 " Really, the number of successful wars we 
 have waged during the last century," I replied, 
 with a glow of British pride, " is far too great 
 for me to guess, with any chance of success, 
 which it was we were then engaged in. How- 
 ever, I will name ' India ' as the most prob- 
 able. The Mutiny was no doubt, all but 
 crushed, at the time that speech was made. 
 What a fine, manly, patriotic speech it must 
 have been ! " I exclaimed in an outburst 
 of enthusiasm. 
 
 " You think so ? " he replied, in a tone of 
 gentle pity. " Yet my friend tells me that 
 the ' disordered and dispirited foe ' simply 
 meant the Statesmen who happened to be in 
 power at the moment ; that the 'pursuit ' 
 simply meant ' Obstruction ' ; and that the
 
 xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 205 
 
 words ' they had routed the enemy ' simply 
 meant that the ' Opposition ' had succeeded in 
 hindering the Government from doing any of 
 the work which the Nation had empowered 
 them to do!" 
 
 I thought it best to say nothing. 
 
 " It seemed queer to MS, just at first," he 
 resumed, after courteously waiting a minute 
 for me to speak : " but, when once we had mas- 
 tered the idea, our respect for your Nation 
 was so great that we carried it into every 
 department of life ! It was ' the beginning of 
 the end" with us. My country never held up 
 its head again ! " And the poor old gentleman 
 sighed deeply. 
 
 " Let us change the subject," I said. " Do 
 not distress yourself, I beg ! " 
 
 " No, no ! " he said, with an effort to recover 
 himself. " I had rather finish my story ! The 
 next step (after reducing our Government to 
 impotence, and putting a stop to all useful 
 legislation, which did not take us long to do) 
 was to introduce what we called ' the glorious 
 British Principle of Dichotomy ' into Agricul- 
 ture, We persuaded many of the well-to-do
 
 206 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 farmers to divide their staff of labourers into 
 two Parties, and to set them one against the 
 other. They were called, like our political 
 Parties, the 'Ins' and the 'Outs' : the business 
 of the 'Ins' was to do as much of ploughing, 
 sowing, or whatever might be needed, as they 
 could manage in a day, and at night they were 
 paid according to the amount they had done : 
 the business of the ' Outs ' was to hinder them, 
 and they were paid for the amount they had 
 hindered. The farmers found they had to pay 
 only half as much wages as they did before, 
 and they didn't observe that the amount of 
 work done was only a quarter as much as was 
 done before: so they took it up quite enthu- 
 siastically, at first" 
 
 " And afterwards - ? " I enquired. 
 
 "Well, afterwards they didn't like it quite 
 so well. In a very short time, things settled 
 down into a regular routine. No work at all 
 was done. So the ' Ins ' got no wages, and 
 the ' Outs ' got full pay. And the farmers 
 never discovered, till most of them were 
 ruined, that the rascals had agreed to manage 
 it so, and had shared the pay between them !
 
 xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 207 
 
 While the thing lasted, there were funny sights 
 to be seen ! Why, I've often watched a 
 ploughman, with two horses harnessed to the 
 plough, doing his best to get it forwards; while 
 the opposition-ploughman, with three donkeys 
 harnessed at the other end, was doing his best 
 to get it backwards ! And the plough never 
 moving an inch, either way ! " 
 
 " But we never did anything like that!" I 
 exclaimed. 
 
 " Simply because you were less logical than 
 we were," replied Mein Herr ".There is 
 
 sometimes an advantage in being a donk 
 
 Excuse me ! No personal allusion intended. 
 All this happened long ago, you know ! " 
 
 " Did the Dichotomy-Principle succeed in 
 any direction ? " I enquired. 
 
 " In none," Mein Herr candidly confessed. 
 " It had a very short trial in Commerce. The 
 shop-keepers wouldn't take it up, after once 
 trying the plan of having half the attendants 
 busy in folding up and carrying away the 
 goods which the other half were trying to 
 spread out upon the counters. They said the 
 Public didn't like it ! "
 
 208 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " I don't wonder at it," I remarked. 
 
 " Well, we tried ' the British Principle ' for 
 
 some years. And the end of it all was " 
 
 His voice suddenly dropped, almost to a 
 whisper ; and large tears began to roll down 
 his cheeks. " the end was that we got in- 
 volved in a war ; and there was a great battle, 
 in which we far out-numbered the enemy. 
 But what could one expect, when only half of 
 our soldiers were fighting, and the other half 
 pulling them back ? It ended in a crushing 
 defeat an utter rout. This caused a Revolu- 
 tion ; and most of the Government were 
 banished. I myself was accused of Treason, 
 for having so strongly advocated ' the British 
 Principle.' My property was all forfeited, 
 
 and and 1 was driven into exile! ' Now 
 
 the mischief's done,' they said, ' perhaps you'll 
 kindly leave the country ? ' It nearly broke 
 my heart, but I had to go ! " 
 
 The melancholy tone became a wail : the 
 wail became a chant : the chant became a 
 
 song though whether it was Mein Herr that 
 
 was singing, this time, or somebody else, I 
 could not feel certain.
 
 xin] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 209 
 
 "And, now the mischiefs done, perhaps 
 You'll kindly go and pack your traps ? 
 Since two (your daughter and your son} 
 Are Company, but three are none. 
 A course of saving we'll begin : 
 When change is needed, I'll invent it: 
 Don't think to put your finger in 
 This pie ! " cried Tattles (and he meant if). 
 
 The music seemed to die away. Mein Herr 
 was again speaking in his ordinary voice. 
 " Now tell me one thing more," he said. " Am 
 I right in thinking that in your Universities, 
 though a man may reside some thirty or forty 
 years, you examine him, once for all, at the 
 end of the first three or four ? " 
 
 " That is so, undoubtedly," I admitted. 
 
 " Practically, then, you examine a man at the 
 beginning of his career ! " the old man said 
 to himself rather than to me. " And what 
 guarantee have you that he retains the know- 
 ledge for which you have rewarded him 
 beforehand, as we should say ? " 
 
 " None," I admitted, feeling a little puzzled 
 at the drift of his remarks. <( How do you 
 secure that object ? " 
 
 p
 
 210 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " By examining him at the end of his thirty 
 
 or forty years not at the beginning," he 
 
 gently replied. " On an average, the know- 
 ledge then found is about one-fifth of what 
 
 it was at first the process of forgetting 
 
 going on at a very steady uniform rate and 
 
 he, who forgets least, gets most honour, and 
 most rewards." 
 
 " Then you give him the money when he 
 needs it no longer ? And you make him live 
 most of his life on nothing ! " 
 
 " Hardly that. He gives his orders to the 
 tradesmen : they supply him, for forty, some- 
 times fifty, years, at their own risk : then he 
 
 gets his Fellowship which pays him in one 
 
 year as much as your Fellowships pay in fifty 
 
 and then he can easily pay all his bills, 
 with interest." 
 
 " But suppose he fails to get his Fellowship ? 
 That must occasionally happen." 
 
 " That occasionally happens." It was Mein 
 Herr's turn, now, to make admissions. 
 
 " And what becomes of the tradesmen ?" 
 
 " They calculate accordingly. When a man 
 appears to be getting alarmingly ignorant, or
 
 xill] WHAT TOTTLES MEANT. 211 
 
 stupid, they will sometimes refuse to supply 
 him any longer. You have no idea with what 
 enthusiasm a man will begin to rub up his 
 forgotten sciences or languages, when his 
 butcher has cut off the supply of beef and 
 mutton ! " 
 
 " And who are the Examiners ? " 
 
 " The young men who have just come, 
 brimming over with knowledge. You would 
 think it a curious sight," he went on, " to 
 see mere boys examining such old men. I 
 have known a man set to examine his own 
 grandfather. It was a little painful for both 
 of them, no doubt. The old gentleman was 
 as bald as a coot 
 
 " How bald would that be?" I've no idea 
 why I asked this question. I felt I was getting 
 foolish.
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 
 BRUNO'S PICNIC. 
 
 " As bald as bald," was the bewildering 
 reply. " Now, Bruno, I'll tell you a story." 
 
 "And I'll tell oo a story," said Bruno, begin- 
 ning in a great hurry for fear of Sylvie getting 
 the start of him : " once there were a Mouse 
 
 a little tiny Mouse such a tiny little Mouse ! 
 
 Oo never saw such a tiny Mouse 
 
 " Did nothing ever happen to it, Bruno ? " I 
 asked. " Haven't you anything more to tell 
 us, besides its being so tiny ? " 
 
 " Nothing never happened to it," Bruno 
 solemnly replied.
 
 xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 213 
 
 " Why did nothing never happen to it ? " said 
 Sylvie, who was sitting, with her head on 
 Bruno's shoulder, patiently waiting for a chance 
 of beginning her story. 
 
 " It were too tiny," Bruno explained. 
 
 ''That's no reason!" I said. "However 
 tiny it was, things might happen to it." 
 
 Bruno looked pityingly at me, as if he thought 
 me very stupid. "It were too tiny," he repeated. 
 " If anything happened to it, it would die- 
 it were so very tiny ! " 
 
 " Really that's enough about its being tiny ! " 
 Sylvie put in. " Haven't you invented any more 
 about it ? " 
 
 " Haven't invented no more yet." 
 
 " Well then, you shouldn't begin a story till 
 you've invented more ! Now be quiet, there's 
 a good boy, and listen to my story." 
 
 And Bruno, having quite exhausted all his 
 inventive faculty, by beginning in too great 
 a hurry, quietly resigned himself to listening. 
 " Tell about the other Bruno, please," he said 
 coaxingly. 
 
 Sylvie put her arms round his neck, and 
 began :
 
 214 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " The wind was whispering among the trees," 
 ("That wasn't good manners!" Bruno in- 
 terrupted. " Never mind about manners/'' said 
 
 Sylvie) " and it was evening a nice moony 
 
 evening, and the Owls were hooting 
 
 " Pretend they weren't Owls! " Bruno pleaded, 
 stroking her cheek with his fat little hand. " I 
 don't like Owls. Owls have such great big eyes. 
 Pretend they were Chickens ! " 
 
 " Are you afraid of their great big eyes, 
 Bruno ? " I said. 
 
 " Aren't 'fraidot nothing," Bruno answered in 
 as careless a tone as he could manage : " they're 
 ugly with their great big eyes. I think if they 
 
 cried, the tears would be as big oh, as big as 
 
 the moon ! " And he laughed merrily. " Doos 
 Owls cry ever, Mister Sir ? " 
 
 " Owls cry never," I said gravely, trying to 
 copy Bruno's way of speaking : " they've got 
 nothing to be sorry for, you know." 
 
 " Oh, but they have ! " Bruno exclaimed. 
 "They're ever so sorry, 'cause they killed the 
 poor little Mouses ! " 
 
 " But they're not sorry when they're hungry, 
 I suppose ? "
 
 xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 215 
 
 " Oo don't know nothing about Owls!" Bruno 
 scornfully remarked. " When they're hungry, 
 they're very, very sorry they killed the little 
 Mouses, 'cause if they hadrtt killed them there'd 
 be sumfin for supper, oo know ! " 
 
 Bruno was evidently getting into a danger- 
 ously inventive state of mind, so Sylvie broke in 
 with " Now I'm going on with the story. So 
 the Owls the Chickens, I mean were look- 
 ing to see if they could find a nice fat Mouse 
 for their supper 
 
 " Pretend it was a nice 'abbit ! " said Bruno. 
 
 " But it wasrit a nice habit, to kill Mouses," 
 Sylvie argued. " I can't pretend that /" 
 
 " I didn't say ' habit] oo silly fellow ! " Bruno 
 replied with a merry twinkle in his eye. " Bab- 
 bits that runs about in the fields ! " 
 
 " Rabbit ? Well it can be a Rabbit, if you like. 
 But you mustn't alter my story so much, Bruno. 
 A Chicken couldnt eat a Rabbit ! " 
 
 " But it might have wished to see if it could 
 try to eat it." 
 
 " Well, it wished to see if it could try oh, 
 
 really, Bruno, that's nonsense ! I shall go back 
 to the Owls."
 
 216 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Well then, pretend they hadn't great eyes ! " 
 
 " And they saw a little Boy," Sylvie went 
 on, disdaining to make any further corrections. 
 " And he asked them to tell him a story. And 
 the Owls hooted and flew away (" Oo 
 shouldn't say ' flewed ;' oo should say ' flied? ' 
 Bruno whispered. But Sylvie wouldn't hear.) 
 " And he met a Lion. And he asked the Lion 
 to tell him a story. And the Lion said ' yes/ 
 it would. And, while the Lion was telling him 
 the story, it nibbled some of his head off 
 
 " Don't say ' nibbled ' ! " Bruno entreated. 
 
 " Only little things nibble little thin sharp 
 
 things, with edges 
 
 " Well then, it ' nubbled,' " said Sylvie. " And 
 when it had nubbled alt his head off, he went 
 away, and he never said ' thank you ' ! " 
 
 " That were very rude," said Bruno. " If he 
 
 couldn't speak, he might have nodded no, 
 
 he couldn't nod. Well, he might have shaked 
 hands with the Lion ! " 
 
 <( Oh, I'd forgotten that part!" said Sylvie. 
 " He did shake hands with it. He came back 
 again, you know, and he thanked the Lion very 
 much, for telling him the story."
 
 xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 217 
 
 " Then his head had growed up again ? " said 
 Bruno. 
 
 " Oh yes, it grew up in a minute. And the 
 Lion begged pardon, and said it wouldn't nubble 
 off little boys' heads not never no more ! " 
 
 Bruno looked much pleased at this change of 
 events. "Now that are a really nice story!" 
 he said. " Arerit it a nice story, Mister Sir ? " 
 
 "Very," I said. " I would like to hear an- 
 other story about that Boy." 
 
 " So would /," said Brunp, stroking Sylvie's 
 cheek again. "Please tell about Bruno's Pic- 
 nic ; and don't talk about nubbly Lions ! " 
 
 " I won't, if it frightens you," said Sylvie. 
 
 " Flightens me ! " Bruno exclaimed indig- 
 nantly. "It isn't that \ -It's 'cause ' nubbly ' 's 
 such a grumbly word to say when one per- 
 son 's got her head on another person's shoul- 
 der. When she talks like that," he explained 
 to me, "the talking goes down bofe sides of 
 
 my face all the way to my chin and it 
 
 doos tickle so ! It's enough to make a beard 
 grow, that it is ! " 
 
 He said this with great severity, but it was 
 evidently meant for a joke : so Sylvie laughed
 
 2i8 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 a delicious musical little laugh, and laid her 
 soft cheek on the top of her brother's curly 
 head, as if it were a pillow, while she went on 
 with the story. " So this Boy - 
 
 " But it wasn't me, oo know ! " Bruno inter- 
 rupted. "And oo needn't try to look as if 
 it was, Mister Sir ! " 
 
 I represented, respectfully, that I was trying 
 to look as if it wasn't. 
 
 " he was a middling good Boy " 
 
 "He were a welly good Boy ! " Bruno cor- 
 rected her. "And he never did nothing he 
 wasn't told to do " 
 
 " That doesn't make a good Boy ! " Sylvie 
 said contemptuously. 
 
 " That do make a good Boy ! " Bruno in- 
 sisted. 
 
 Sylvie gave up the point. " Well, he was 
 a very good Boy, and he always kept his pro- 
 mises, and he had a big cupboard 
 
 - for to keep all his promises in ! " cried 
 Bruno. 
 
 " If he kept all his promises," Sylvie said, 
 with a mischievous look in her eyes, " he wasn't 
 like some Boys I know of! "
 
 xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 219 
 
 " He had to put salt with them, a-course," 
 Bruno said gravely : " oo ca'n't keep promises 
 when there isn't any salt. And he kept his 
 birthday on the second shelf." 
 
 " How long did he keep his birthday ? " I 
 asked. <: I never can keep mine more than 
 twenty-four hours." 
 
 " Why, a birthday stays that long by itself! " 
 cried Bruno. "Oo doosn't know how to keep 
 birthdays ! This Boy kept his a whole year ! " 
 
 " And then the next birthday would begin," 
 said Sylvie. " So it would be his birthday 
 always" 
 
 "So it were," said Bruno. " Doos oo have 
 treats on oor birthday, Mister Sir ? " 
 
 " Sometimes," I said. 
 
 "When oo're ^wdf, I suppose ?" 
 
 " Why, it is a sort of treat, being good, isn't 
 it ? " I said. 
 
 "A sort of treat-!" Bruno repeated. " It's 
 a sort of punishment, I think ! " 
 
 " Oh, Bruno ! " Sylvie interrupted, almost 
 sadly. "How can you ? " 
 
 " Well, but it is" Bruno persisted. " Why. 
 look here, Mister Sir! This is being good!"
 
 220 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 And he sat bolt upright, and put on an 
 absurdly solemn face. " First oo must sit up 
 as straight as pokers 
 
 - as a poker," Sylvie corrected him. 
 
 - as straight as pokers" Bruno firmly 
 repeated. " Then oo must clasp oor hands 
 
 so. Then ' Why hasn't oo brushed oor 
 
 hair ? Go and brush it toreckly ! ' Then 
 
 ' Oh, Bruno, oo mustn't dog's-ear the daisies ! ' 
 Did oo learn oor spelling wiz daisies, Mister 
 Sir ? " 
 
 " I want to hear about that Boy's Birthday'' 
 I said. 
 
 Bruno returned to the story instantly. 
 " Well, so this Boy said 'Now it's my Birth- 
 day ! ' And so I'm tired ! " he suddenly broke 
 
 off, laying his head in Sylvie's lap. " Sylvie 
 knows it best. Sylvie's grown-upper than me. 
 Go on, Sylvie ! " 
 
 Sylvie patiently took up. the thread of the 
 story again. "So he said ' Now it's my 
 Birthday. Whatever shall I do to keep my 
 Birthday ? All good little Boys " (Sylvie 
 turned away from Bruno, and made a great pre- 
 tence of whispering to me] " all good little
 
 xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 221 
 
 Boys Boys that learn their lessons quite 
 perfect - they always keep their birthdays, 
 you know. So of course this little Boy kept 
 his Birthday." 
 
 " Oo may call him Bruno, if oo like," the 
 little fellow carelessly remarked. " It weren't 
 me, but it makes it more interesting." 
 
 " So Bruno said to himself ' The properest 
 thing to do is to have a Picnic, all by myself, 
 on the top of the hill. And I'll take some 
 Milk, and some Bread, and some Apples : and 
 first and foremost, I want some Milk T So, 
 first and foremost, Bruno took a milk-pail 
 
 " And he went and milkted the Cow ! " 
 Bruno put in. 
 
 " Yes," said Sylvie, meekly accepting the 
 new verb. " And the Cow said ' Moo ! What 
 are you going to do with all that Milk ? ' And 
 Bruno said ' Please'm, I want it for my Picnic.' 
 And the Cow said ' Moo ! But I hope you 
 wo'n't boil any of it ? ' And Bruno said ' No, 
 indeed I won't! New Milk's so nice and so 
 warm, it wants no boiling ! ' : 
 
 " It doesn't want no boiling," Bruno offered 
 as an amended version.
 
 222 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " So Bruno put the Milk in a bottle. And 
 then Bruno said 'Now I want some Bread!' 
 So he went to the Oven, and he took out a 
 delicious new Loaf. And the Oven 
 
 " ever so light and so puffy!" Bruno 
 
 impatiently corrected her " Oo shouldn't 
 leave out so many words ! " 
 
 Sylvie humbly apologised. " a delicious 
 
 new Loaf, ever so light and so puffy. And 
 the Oven said Here Sylvie made a long 
 
 pause. " Really I don't know what an Oven 
 begins with, when it wants to speak ! " 
 
 Both children looked appealingly at me ; but 
 I could only say, helplessly, " I haven't the 
 least idea ! / never heard an Oven speak ! " 
 
 For a minute or two we all sat silent ; and 
 then Bruno said, very softly, " Oven begins 
 wiz ' O '." 
 
 " Good little boy ! " Sylvie exclaimed. " He 
 does his spelling very nicely. Hes cleverer 
 than he knows ! " she added, aside, to me. 
 " So the Oven said ' O ! What are you going 
 to do with all that Bread ? ' And Bruno said 
 ' Please Is an Oven ' Sir ' or ' 'm,' would 
 you say ? " She looked to me for a reply.
 
 Xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 223 
 
 " Both, I think," seemed to me the safest 
 thing to say. 
 
 Sylvie adopted the suggestion instantly. 
 " So Bruno said ' Please, Sirm, I want it for 
 my Picnic.' And the Oven said 'O! But I 
 hope you wo'n't toast any of it ? ' And Bruno 
 said ' No, indeed I wo'n't ! New Bread's so 
 light and so puffy, it wants no toasting ! ' 
 
 " It never doesn't want no toasting," said 
 Bruno. " I wiss oo wouldn't say it so short! " 
 
 " So Bruno put the Bread in the hamper. 
 Then Bruno said ' Now I want some Apples ! ' 
 So he took the hamper, and he went to the 
 Apple-Tree, and he picked some lovely ripe 
 Apples. And the Apple-Tree said"- Here 
 
 followed another long pause. 
 
 Bruno adopted his favourite expedient of 
 tapping his forehead ; while Sylvie gazed 
 earnestly upwards, as if she hoped for some 
 suggestion from the birds, who were singing 
 merrily among the branches overhead. But 
 no result followed. 
 
 " What does an Apple-tree begin with, when 
 it wants to speak ? " Sylvie murmured despair- 
 ingly, to the irresponsive birds.
 
 224 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 At last, taking a leaf out of Bruno's book, 
 I ventured on a remark. " Doesn't ' Apple- 
 tree' always begin with 'Eh!'?" 
 
 "Why, of course it does! How clever of 
 you ! " Sylvie cried delightedly. 
 
 Bruno jumped up, and patted me on the 
 head. I tried not to feel conceited. 
 
 "So the Apple-Tree said 'Eh! What are 
 you going to do with all those Apples ? ' And 
 Bruno said ' Please, Sir, I want them for 
 my Picnic.' And the Apple-Tree said ' Eh ! 
 But I hope you wo'n't bake any of them ? ' 
 And Bruno said ' No, indeed I wo'n't ! Ripe 
 Apples are so nice and so sweet, they want 
 no baking ! ' ' 
 
 " They never doesn't Bruno was be- 
 ginning, but Sylvie corrected herself before 
 he could get the words out. 
 
 " ' They never doesn't nohow want no 
 baking.' So Bruno put the Apples in the 
 hamper, along with the Bread, and the bottle 
 of Milk. And he set off to have a Picnic, 
 on the top of the hill, all by himself 
 
 " He wasn't greedy, oo know, to have it all 
 by himself," Bruno said, patting me on the
 
 xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 225 
 
 cheek to call my attention ; " 'cause he hadn't 
 got no brothers and sisters." 
 
 "It was very sad to have no sisters, wasn't 
 it ? " I said. 
 
 "Well, I don't know," Bruno said thought- 
 fully ; " 'cause he hadn't no lessons to do. So 
 he didn't mind." 
 
 Sylvie went on. "So, as he was walking 
 along the road, he heard behind him such a 
 
 curious sort of noise a sort of a Thump ! 
 
 Thump ! Thump ! ' Whatever is that ? ' said 
 Bruno. ' Oh, I know ! ' said Bruno. ' Why, 
 it's only my Watch a-ticking ! ' ' 
 
 "Were it his Watch a-ticking?" Bruno 
 asked me, with eyes that fairly sparkled with 
 mischievous delight. 
 
 " No doubt of it ! " I replied. And Bruno 
 laughed exultingly. 
 
 "Then Bruno thought a little harder. And 
 he said 'No! It cant be my Watch a-tick- 
 ing ; because I haven't got a Watch ! ' : 
 
 Bruno peered up anxiously into my face, 
 to see how I took it. I hung my head, and 
 put a thumb into my mouth, to the evident 
 delight of the little fellow. 
 
 o
 
 226 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED 
 
 " So Bruno went a little further along the 
 road. And then he heard it again, that queer 
 
 noise Thump ! Thump ! Thump ! ' What 
 
 ever is that ? ' said Bruno. ' Oh, I know ! ' 
 said Bruno. ' Why, it's only the Carpenter 
 a-mending my Wheelbarrow ! ' 
 
 " Were it the Carterpenter a-mending his 
 Wheelbarrow ? " Bruno asked me. 
 
 I brightened up, and said "It must have 
 been ! " in a tone of absolute conviction. 
 
 Bruno threw his arms round Sylvie's neck. 
 " Sylvie ! " he said, in a perfectly audible 
 whisper. "He says it must have been!" 
 
 " Then Bruno thought a little harder. And 
 he said ' No ! It cant be the Carpenter 
 amending my Wheelbarrow, because I haven't 
 got a Wheelbarrow ! ' 
 
 This time I hid my face in my hands, quite 
 unable to meet Bruno's look of triumph. 
 
 " So Bruno went a little further along the 
 road. And then he heard that queer noise 
 
 again Thump ! Thump ! Thump ! So he 
 
 thought he'd look round, this time, just to see 
 what it was. And what should it be but a 
 great Lion ! "
 
 xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 227 
 
 "A great big Lion," Bruno corrected her. 
 
 "A great big Lion. And Bruno was ever 
 so frightened, and he ran 
 
 "No, he wasn't flight ened a bit ! " Bruno 
 interrupted. (He was evidently anxious for 
 the reputation of his namesake.) " He runned 
 away to get a good look at the Lion ; 'cause 
 he wanted to see if it were the same Lion 
 what used to nubble little Boys' heads off; and 
 he wanted to know how big it was ! " 
 
 " Well, he ran away, to get a good look at 
 the* Lion. And the Lion trotted slowly after 
 him. And the Lion called after him, in a very 
 gentle voice, ' Little Boy, little Boy ! You 
 needn't be afraid of me! I'm a very gentle 
 old Lion now. I never nubble little Boys' 
 heads off, as I used to do.' And so Bruno 
 said ' Don't you really, Sir ? Then what do 
 you live on ? ' And the Lion 
 
 " Oo see he weren't a bit flightened ! " 
 Bruno said to me, patting my cheek again. 
 " 'cause he remembered to call it ' Sir,' oo 
 know." 
 
 I said that no doubt that was the real test 
 whether a person was frightened or not. 
 
 Q 2
 
 228 SYLV1E AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " And the Lion said ' Oh, I live on bread- 
 and-butter, and cherries, and marmalade, and 
 plum-cake 
 
 " and apples ! " Bruno put in. 
 
 " Yes, 'and apples.' And Bruno said 'Won't 
 you come with me to my Picnic ? ' And the 
 Lion said ' Oh, I should like it very much in- 
 deed / ' And Bruno and the Lion went away 
 together." Sylvie stopped suddenly. 
 
 " Is that all?" I asked, despondingly. 
 
 " Not quite all," Sylvie slily replied. " There's 
 a sentence or two more. Isn't there, Bruno ? " 
 
 " Yes," with a carelessness that was evi- 
 dently put on : "just a sentence or two more." 
 
 " And, as they were walking along, they 
 looked over a hedge, and who should they see 
 but a little black Lamb ! And the Lamb was 
 ever so frightened. And it ran " 
 
 " It were really flightened !" Bruno put in. 
 
 " It ran away. And Bruno ran after it. And 
 he called ' Little Lamb ! You needn't be afraid 
 of this Lion! It never kills things! It lives 
 on cherries, and marmalade ' 
 
 " and apples f " said Bruno. " Oo 
 
 always forgets the apples ! "
 
 xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 229 
 
 " And Bruno said ' Wo'n't you come with 
 us to my Picnic ? ' And the Lamb said ' Oh, 
 I should like it very much indeed, if my Ma 
 will let me ! ' And Bruno said ' Let's go and 
 ask your Ma ! ' And they went to the old 
 Sheep. And Bruno said ' Please, may your 
 little Lamb come to my Picnic ? ' And the 
 Sheep said ' Yes, if it's learnt all its lessons.' 
 And the Lamb said ' Oh yes, Ma ! I've learnt 
 all my lessons ! ' ' 
 
 " Pretend it hadn't any lessons ! " Bruno 
 earnestly pleaded. 
 
 " Oh, that would never do ! " said Sylvie. 
 " I ca'n't leave out all about the lessons ! And 
 the old Sheep said ' Do you know your ABC 
 yet ? Have you learnt A ? ' And the Lamb 
 said ' Oh yes, Ma ! I went to the A-field, and 
 I helped them to make A ! ' ' Very good, my 
 child! And have you learnt B?' 'Oh yes, 
 Ma ! I went to the B-hive, and the B gave me 
 some honey ! ' ' Very good, my child ! And 
 have you learnt C ? ' ' Oh yes, Ma ! I went 
 to the C-side, and I saw the ships sailing on 
 the C ! ' ' Very good, my child ! You may go 
 to Bruno's Picnic.'
 
 230 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " So they set off. And Bruno walked in the 
 middle, so that the Lamb mightn't see the 
 Lion 
 
 "It were fliglitened" Bruno explained. 
 
 " Yes, and it trembled so ; and it got paler 
 and paler ; and, before they'd got to the top 
 
 of the hill, it was a 'white little JLamb as 
 
 white as snow ! "
 
 Xiv] BRUNO'S PICNIC. 231 
 
 " But Bruno weren't flightened ! " said the 
 owner of that name. ''So he staid black ! " 
 
 " No, he didn't stay black ! He staid pink ! " 
 laughed Sylvie. " I shouldn't kiss you like this, 
 you know, if you were black ! " 
 
 " Oo'd have to ! " Bruno said with great de- 
 cision. " Besides, Bruno wasn't Bruno, oo 
 
 know 1 mean, Bruno wasn't me 1 mean 
 
 don't talk nonsense, Sylvie ! " 
 
 "I won't do it again!" Sylvie said very 
 humbly. " And so, as they went along, the 
 Lion said * Oh, I'll tell you what I used to do 
 when I was a young Lion. I used to hide be- 
 hind trees, to watch for little Boys.' " (Bruno 
 cuddled a little closer to her.) " ' And, if a 
 little thin scraggy Boy came by, why, I used 
 to let him go. But, if a little fat juicy 
 
 Bruno could bear no more. " Pretend he 
 wasn't juicy ! " he pleaded, half-sobbing. 
 
 " Nonsense, Bruno ! " Sylvie briskly replied. 
 
 "It'll be done in a moment! ' if a little 
 
 fat juicy Boy came by, why, I used to spring 
 out and gobble him up ! Oh, you've no idea 
 
 what a delicious thing it is a little juicy 
 
 Boy ! ' And Bruno said ' Oh, if you please,
 
 232 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Sir, dorit talk about eating little boys ! It 
 makes me so shivery! ' 
 
 The real Bruno shivered, in sympathy with 
 the hero. 
 
 " And the Lion said ' Oh, well, we won't talk 
 about it, then ! I'll tell you what happened on 
 my wedding-day 
 
 " I like this part better," said Bruno, patting 
 my cheek to keep me awake. 
 
 " ' There was, oh, such a lovely wedding- 
 breakfast ! At one end of the table there was 
 a large plum -pudding. And at the other end 
 there was a nice roasted Lamb ! Oh, you've 
 
 no idea what a delicious thing it is a nice 
 
 roasted Lamb ! ' And the Lamb said ' Oh, 
 if you please, Sir, dorit talk about eating 
 Lambs ! 1 1 makes me so shivery ! ' And the 
 Lion said ' Oh, well, we won't talk about it, 
 then ! ' "
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 THE LITTLE FOXES. 
 
 "So, when they got to the top of the hill, 
 Bruno opened the hamper : and he took out 
 the Bread, and the Apples, and the Milk : 
 and they ate, and they drank. And when 
 they'd finished the Milk, and eaten half the 
 Bread and half the Apples, the Lamb said 
 ' Oh, my paws is so sticky ! I want to wash 
 my paws ! ' And the Lion said ' Well, go 
 down the hill, and wash them in the brook, 
 yonder. We'll wait for you ! ' ' 
 
 "It never corned back!" Bruno solemnly 
 whispered to me. .
 
 234 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 But Sylvie overheard him. " You're not to 
 whisper, Bruno! It spoils the story! And 
 when the Lamb had been gone a long time, 
 the Lion said to Bruno ' Do go and see after 
 that silly little Lamb ! It must have lost its 
 way.' And Bruno went down the hill. And 
 when he got to the brook, he saw the Lamb 
 sitting on the bank : and who should be sitting 
 by it but an old Fox ! " 
 
 " Don't know who should be sitting by it," 
 Bruno said thoughtfully to himself. " A old 
 Fox were sitting by it." 
 
 " And the old Fox were saying," Sylvie went 
 on, for once conceding the grammatical point, 
 " ' Yes, my dear, you'll be ever so happy with 
 us, if you'll only come and see us ! I've got 
 three little Foxes there, and we do love little 
 Lambs so dearly ! ' And the Lamb said ' But 
 you never eat them, do you, Sir ? ' And the 
 Fox said ' Oh, no ! What, eat a Lamb ? We 
 never dream of doing such a thing ! ' So the 
 Lamb said ' Then I'll come with you.' And 
 off they went, hand in hand." 
 
 " That Fox were welly extremely wicked, 
 wererit it ? " said Bruno.
 
 xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 235 
 
 " No, no ! " said Sylvie, rather shocked at 
 such violent language. "It wasn't quite so 
 bad as that!" 
 
 "Well, I mean, it wasn't nice," the little 
 fellow corrected himself. 
 
 "And so Bruno went back to the Lion. 
 ' Oh, come quick ! ' he said. ' The Fox has 
 taken the Lamb to his house with him ! I'm 
 sure he means to eat it ! ' And the Lion said 
 ' I'll come as quick as ever I can!' And they 
 trotted down the hill." 
 
 " Do oo think he caught the Fox, Mister 
 Sir ? " said Bruno. I shook my head, not 
 liking to speak : and Sylvie went on. 
 
 "And when they got to the house, Bruno 
 looked in at the window. And there he saw 
 the three little Foxes sitting round the table, 
 with their clean pinafores on, and spoons in 
 their hands 
 
 " Spoons in their hands ! " Bruno repeated 
 in an ecstasy of delight. 
 
 " And the Fox had got a great big knife 
 
 all ready to kill the poor little Lamb " 
 
 ("Oo needn't be flightened, Mister Sir!" 
 Bruno put in, in a hasty whisper.)
 
 236 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
 
 xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 237 
 
 "And just as he was going to do it, Bruno 
 heard a great ROAR (The real Bruno 
 
 put his hand into mine, and held tight), "and 
 the Lion came bang through the door, and 
 the next moment it had bitten off the old 
 Fox's head ! And Bruno jumped in at the 
 window, and went leaping round the room, and 
 crying out ' Hooray ! Hooray ! The old Fox 
 is dead ! The old Fox is dead ! ' ' 
 
 Bruno got up in some excitement. " May I 
 do it now ? " he enquired. 
 
 Sylvie was quite decided on this point. 
 " Wait till afterwards," she said. " The speeches 
 come next, don't you know ? You always love 
 the speeches, dorit you ? " 
 
 " Yes, I doos," said Bruno : and sat down 
 again. 
 
 " The Lion's speech. ' Now, you silly little 
 Lamb, go home to your mother, and never 
 listen to old Foxes again. And be very good 
 and obedient.' 
 
 "The Lamb's speech. 'Oh, indeed, Sir, I 
 will, Sir!' and the Lamb went away." (" But 
 oo needn't go away!" Bruno explained. " It's 
 quite the nicest part what's coming now ! "
 
 238 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Sylvie smiled. She liked having an appreci- 
 ative audience.) 
 
 " The Lion's speech to Bruno. ' Now, 
 Bruno, take those little Foxes home with 
 you, and teach them to be good obedient 
 little Foxes ! Not like that wicked old thing 
 there, that's got no head ! " (" That hasn't 
 got no head," Bruno repeated.) 
 
 " Bruno's speech to the Lion. Oh, indeed, 
 Sir, I will, Sir!' And the Lion went away." 
 (" It gets betterer and betterer, now," Bruno 
 whispered to me, " right away to the end ! ") 
 
 " Bruno's speech to the little Foxes. ' Now, 
 little Foxes, you're going to have your first 
 lesson in being good. I'm going to put you 
 into the hamper, along with the Apples and the 
 Bread : and you're not to eat the Apples : and 
 you're not to eat the Bread : and you're not to 
 
 eat anything till we get to my house : and 
 
 then you'll have your supper.' 
 
 " The little Foxes' speech to Bruno. The 
 little Foxes said nothing. 
 
 " So Bruno put the Apples into the hamper 
 
 and the little Foxes and the Bread 
 
 ("They had picnicked all the Milk," Bruno
 
 xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 239 
 
 explained in a whisper) " and he set off 
 
 to go to his house." ("We're getting near 
 the end now," said Bruno.) 
 
 " And, when he had got a little way, he 
 thought he would look into the hamper, and 
 see how the little Foxes were getting on." 
 
 " So he opened the door " said Bruno. 
 
 "Oh, Bruno!" Sylvie exclaimed, " yoiire 
 not telling the story ! So he opened the door, 
 and behold, there were no Apples ! So Bruno 
 said ' Eldest little Fox, have you been eating 
 the Apples ? ' And the eldest little Fox said 
 ' No no no! 1 ' (It is impossible to give the 
 tone in which Sylvie repeated this rapid little 
 ' No no no ! ' The nearest I can come to it 
 is to say that it was much as if a young and 
 excited duck had tried to quack the words. 
 It was too quick for a quack, and yet too harsh 
 to be anything else.) " Then he said ' Second 
 little Fox, have you been eating the Apples ? ' 
 And the second little Fox said ' No no no ! ' 
 Then he said ' Youngest little Fox, have you 
 been eating the Apples ? ' And the youngest 
 little Fox tried to say ' No no no ! ' but its 
 mouth was so full, it couldn't, and it only
 
 240 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 said ' Wauch ! Wauch ! Wauch ! ' And Bruno 
 looked into its mouth. And its mouth was 
 full of Apples ! And Bruno shook his head, 
 and he said ' Oh dear, oh dear ! What bad 
 creatures these Foxes are ! ' 
 
 Bruno was listening intently : and, when 
 Sylvie paused to take breath, he could only 
 just gasp out the words " About the Bread ? " 
 
 "Yes," said Sylvie, ''the Bread comes next. 
 So he shut the door again ; and he went a 
 little further ; and then he thought he'd just 
 peep in once more. And behold, there was no 
 Bread!" ("What do 'behold' mean?" said 
 Bruno. "Hush!" said Sylvie.) "And he said 
 ' Eldest little Fox, have you been eating the 
 Bread ? ' And the eldest little Fox said ' No 
 no no ! ' ' Second little Fox, have you been 
 eating the Bread ? ' And the second little Fox 
 only said ' Wauch ! Wauch ! Wauch ! ' And 
 Bruno looked into its mouth, and its mouth 
 was full of Bread!" (" It might have chokeded 
 it," said Bruno.) " So he said ' Oh dear, oh 
 dear ! What shall I do with these Foxes ? ' 
 And he went a little further." (" Now comes 
 the most interesting part," Bruno whispered.)
 
 xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 241 
 
 " And when Bruno opened the hamper again, 
 what do you think he saw ? " (" Only two 
 Foxes ! " Bruno cried in a great hurry.) " You 
 shouldn't tell it so quick. However, he did 
 see only two Foxes. And he said ' Eldest 
 little Fox, have you been eating the youngest 
 little Fox ? ' And the eldest little Fox said 
 'No no no!' 'Second little Fox, have you 
 been eating the youngest little Fox ? ' And 
 the second little Fox did its very best to say 
 'No no no!' but it could only say 'Weuchk! 
 Weuchk ! Weuchk ! ' And when Bruno looked 
 into its mouth, it was half full of Bread, and 
 half full of Fox ! " (Bruno said nothing in the 
 pause this time. He was beginning to pant a 
 little, as he knew the crisis was coming.) 
 
 " And when he'd got nearly home, he looked 
 once more into the hamper, and he saw 
 
 " Only " Bruno began, but a generous 
 
 thought struck him, and he looked at me. " Oo 
 may say it, this time, Mister Sir ! " he whis- 
 pered. It was a noble offer, but I wouldn't 
 rob him of the treat. "Go on, Bruno," I said, 
 
 "you say it much the best." " Only but 
 
 one Fox ! " Bruno said with great solemnity. 
 
 R
 
 242 
 
 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " ' Eldest little Fox,' " Sylvie said, dropping 
 the narrative-form in her eagerness. " ' you've 
 been so good that I can hardly believe youve 
 been disobedient : but I'm afraid you've been 
 eating your little sister ? ' And the eldest little 
 Fox said ' Whihuauch ! Whihuauch ! ' and then 
 it choked. And Bruno looked into its mouth, 
 and it was full ! " (Sylvie paused to take 
 breath, and Bruno lay back among the daisies,
 
 xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 243 
 
 and looked at me triumphantly. " Isn't it 
 grand, Mister Sir ? " said he. I tried hard to 
 assume a critical tone. " It's grand," I said : 
 "but it frightens one so!" "Oo may sit a 
 little closer to me, if oo like," said Bruno.) 
 
 " And so Bruno went home : and took the 
 hamper into the kitchen, and opened it. And 
 
 he saw " Sylvie looked at me, this time, as 
 
 if she thought I had been rather neglected and 
 ought to be allowed one guess, at any rate. 
 
 " He ca'n't guess ! " Bruno cried eagerly. 
 
 " I 'fraid I must tell him! There weren't 
 
 nuffin in the hamper ! " I shivered in terror, 
 and Bruno clapped his hands with delight. 
 " He is flightened, Sylvie ! Tell the rest ! " 
 
 " So Bruno said ' Eldest little Fox, have you 
 been eating yoiirself, you wicked little Fox ? ' 
 And the eldest little Fox said ' Whihuauch ! ' 
 And then Bruno saw there was only its moutk 
 in the hamper ! So he took the mouth, and he 
 opened it, and shook, and shook ! And at last 
 he shook the little Fox out of its own mouth ! 
 And then he said ' Open your mouth again, 
 you wicked little thing ! ' And he shook, and 
 shook ! And he shook out the second little 
 
 R 2
 
 244 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Fox ! And he said ' Now open your mouth ! ' 
 And he shook, and shook ! And he shook out 
 the youngest little Fox, and all the Apples, and 
 all the Bread ! 
 
 "And then Bruno stood the little Foxes up 
 against the wall : and he made .them a little 
 speech. ' Now, little Foxes, you've begun very 
 
 wickedly and you'll have to be punished. 
 
 First you'll go up to the nursery, and wash 
 your faces, and put on clean pinafores. Then 
 you'll hear the bell ring for supper. Then you'll 
 come down : and you wont have any supper : 
 but you'll have a good whipping ! Then you'll 
 go to bed. Then in the morning you'll hear 
 the bell ring for breakfast. But you wont have 
 any breakfast ! You'll have a good whipping ! 
 Then you'll have your lessons. And, perhaps, 
 if you're very good, when dinner-time comes, 
 you'll have a little dinner, and no more 
 whipping ! ' : (" How very kind he was ! " I 
 whispered to Bruno. "Middling kind," Bruno 
 corrected me gravely.) 
 
 " So the little Foxes ran up to the nursery. 
 And soon Bruno went into the hall, and rang 
 the big bell. ' Tingle, tingle, tingle ! Supper,
 
 xv] THE LITTLE FOXES. 245 
 
 supper, supper ! ' Down came the little Foxes, 
 in such a hurry for their supper ! Clean pina- 
 fores ! Spoons in their hands ! And, when they 
 got into the dining-room, there was ever such 
 a white table-cloth on the table ! But there was 
 nothing on it but a big whip. And they had 
 such a whipping !" (I put my handkerchief to 
 my eyes, and Bruno hastily climbed upon my 
 knee and stroked my face. " Only one more 
 whipping, Mister Sir ! " he whispered. " Don't 
 cry more than oo ca'n't help ! ") 
 
 "And the next morning early, Bruno rang 
 the big bell again. ' Tingle, tingle, tingle ! 
 Breakfast, breakfast, breakfast ! ' Down came 
 the little Foxes ! Clean pinafores ! Spoons in 
 their hands ! No breakfast ! Only the big 
 whip ! Then came lessons," Sylvie hurried on, 
 for I still had my handkerchief to my eyes. 
 " And the little Foxes were ever so good ! 
 And they learned their lessons backwards, 
 and forwards, and upside-down. And at last 
 Bruno rang the big bell again. ' Tingle, tingle, 
 tingle ! Dinner, dinner, dinner ! ' And when 
 
 the little Foxes came down "(" Had they 
 
 clean pinafores on ? " Bruno enquired. " Of
 
 246 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 course ! " said Sylvie. " And spoons ? " '' Why, 
 you know they had !" " Couldn't be certain" 
 
 said Bruno.) " they came as slow as slow ! 
 
 And they said ' Oh ! There'll be no dinner ! 
 There'll only be the big whip ! ' But, when 
 they got into the room, they saw the most 
 lovely dinner !" ("Buns?" cried Bruno, clap- 
 ping his hands.) " Buns, and cake, and 
 
 ("and jam ? " said Bruno.) " Yes, jam 
 
 and soup and " (" and sugar plums /" 
 
 Bruno put in once more ; and Sylvie seemed 
 satisfied.) 
 
 " And ever after that, they were such good 
 little Foxes ! They did their lessons as good 
 
 as gold and they never did what Bruno told 
 
 them not to and they never ate each other 
 
 any more and they never ate themselves ! " 
 
 The story came to an end so suddenly, 
 it almost took my breath away ; however I did 
 my best to make a pretty speech of thanks. 
 
 "I'm sure it's very very very much so, 
 
 I'm sure!" I seemed to hear myself say.
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 BEYOND THESE VOICES. 
 
 " I DIDN'T quite catch what you said ! " were 
 the next words that reached my ear, but cer- 
 tainly not in the voice either of Sylvie or of 
 Bruno, whom I could just see, through the 
 crowd of guests, standing by the piano, and 
 listening to the Count's song. Mein Herr was 
 the speaker. " I didn't quite catch what you 
 said!" he repeated. " But I've no doubt you 
 take my view of it. Thank you very much for 
 your kind attention. There is only but one 
 verse left to be sung ! " These last words were 
 not in the gentle voice of Mein Herr, but in
 
 248 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 the deep bass of the French Count. And, in 
 the silence that followed, the final stanza of 
 ' Tottles ' rang through the room. 
 
 See now this couple settled down 
 In quiet lodgings, out of town : 
 Submissively the tearful ivife 
 Accepts a plain and J tumble life : 
 Yet begs one boon on bended knee : 
 ' My ducky -darling, don't resent it ! 
 
 Mamma might come for two or three ' 
 
 1 NE VER ! ' yelled Tottles. A nd he meant it.
 
 xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 249 
 
 The conclusion of the song was followed by 
 quite a chorus of thanks and compliments from 
 all parts of the room, which the gratified singer 
 responded to by bowing low in all directions. 
 " It is to me a great privilege," he said to Lady 
 Muriel, " to have met with this so marvellous a 
 song. The accompaniment to him is so strange, 
 so mysterious : it is as if a new music were to 
 be invented ! I will play him once again so as 
 that to show you what I mean." He returned 
 to the piano, but the song had vanished. 
 
 The bewildered singer searched through the 
 heap of music lying on an adjoining table, but 
 it was not there, either. Lady Muriel helped 
 in the search : others soon joined : the excite- 
 ment grew. " What can have become of it ? " 
 exclaimed Lady Muriel. Nobody knew : one 
 thing only was certain, that no one had been 
 near the piano since the Count had sung the 
 last verse of the song. 
 
 " Nevare mind him ! " he said, most good- 
 naturedly. " I shall give it you with memory 
 alone ! " He sat down, and began vaguely fing- 
 ering the notes ; but nothing resembling the 
 tune came out. Then he, too, grew excited.
 
 250 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " But what oddness ! How much of singularity ! 
 That I might lose, not the words alone, but the 
 tune also that is quite curious, I suppose ? " 
 
 We all supposed it, heartily. 
 
 " It was that sweet little boy, who found it 
 for me," the Count suggested. " Quite perhaps 
 he is the thief ? " 
 
 "Of course he is!" cried Lady Muriel. 
 " Bruno ! Where are you, my darling ? " 
 
 But no Bruno replied : it seemed that the 
 two children had vanished as suddenly, and as 
 mysteriously, as the song. 
 
 " They are playing us a trick ! " Lady Muriel 
 gaily exclaimed. " This is only an ex tempore 
 game of Hide-and-Seek ! That little Bruno is 
 an embodied Mischief!" 
 
 The suggestion was a welcome one to most 
 of us, for some of the guests were beginning 
 to look decidedly uneasy. A general search was 
 set on foot with much enthusiasm : curtains were 
 thrown back and shaken, cupboards opened, and 
 ottomans turned over ; but the number of pos- 
 sible hiding-places proved to be strictly limited ; 
 and the search came to an end almost as soon 
 as it had begun.
 
 xvi] ' BEYOND THESE VOICES. 251 
 
 " They must have run out, while we were 
 wrapped up in the song," Lady Muriel said, 
 addressing herself to the Count, who seemed 
 more agitated than the others ; "and no doubt 
 they've found their way back to the house- 
 keeper's room." 
 
 " Not by this door ! " was the earnest protest 
 of a knot of two or three gentlemen, who had 
 been grouped round the door (one of them 
 actually leaning against it) for the last half- 
 hour, as they declared. " This door has not 
 been opened since the song began ! " 
 
 An uncomfortable silence followed this an- 
 nouncement. Lady Muriel ventured no further 
 conjectures, but quietly examined the fastenings 
 of the windows, which opened as doors. They 
 all proved to be well fastened, inside. 
 
 Not yet at the end of her resources, Lady 
 Muriel rang the bell. "Ask the housekeeper 
 to step here," she said, "and to bring the 
 children's walking-things with her." 
 
 "I've brought them, my Lady," said the 
 obsequious housekeeper, entering after another 
 minute of silence. " I thought the young 
 lady would have come to my room to put on
 
 252 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 her boots. Here's your boots, my love ! " she 
 added cheerfully, looking in all directions for 
 the children. There was no answer, and she 
 turned to Lady Muriel with a puzzled smile. 
 " Have the little darlings hid themselves ?" 
 
 " I don't see them, just now," Lady Muriel 
 replied, rather evasively. " You can leave their 
 things here, Wilson. /'// dress them, when 
 they're ready to go." 
 
 The two little hats, and Sylvie's walking- 
 jacket, were handed round among the ladies, 
 with many exclamations of delight. There 
 certainly was a sort of witchery of beauty about 
 them. Even the little boots did not miss their 
 share of favorable criticism. " Such natty little 
 things ! " the musical young lady exclaimed, 
 almost fondling them as she spoke. "And 
 what tiny tiny feet they must have ! " 
 
 Finally, the things were piled together on the 
 centre-ottoman, and the guests, despairing of 
 seeing the children again, began to wish good- 
 night and leave the house. 
 
 There were only some eight or nine left 
 
 to whom the Count was explaining, for the 
 twentieth time, how he had had his eye on the
 
 xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 253 
 
 children during the last verse of the song ; how 
 he had then glanced round the room, to see 
 what effect " de great chest-note " had had 
 upon his audience ; and how, when he looked 
 
 back again, they had both disappeared when 
 
 exclamations of dismay began to be heard 
 on all sides, the Count hastily bringing his 
 story to an end to join in the outcry. 
 
 The walking-things had all disappeared ! 
 
 After the utter failure of the search for the 
 children, there was a very half-hearted search 
 made for their apparel. The remaining guests 
 seemed only too glad to get away, leaving only 
 the Count and our four selves. 
 
 The Count sank into an easy-chair, and 
 panted a little. 
 
 " Who then are these dear children, I pray 
 you?" he said. "Why come they, why go 
 they, in this so little ordinary a fashion ? That 
 
 the music should make itself to vanish that 
 
 the hats, the boots, should make themselves to 
 vanish how is it, I pray you ? " 
 
 " I've no idea where they are ! " was all I 
 could say, on finding myself appealed to, by 
 general consent, for an explanation.
 
 254 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 The Count seemed about to ask further 
 questions, but checked himself. 
 
 " The hour makes himself to become late," 
 he said. " I wish to you a very good night, 
 
 my Lady. I betake myself to my bed to 
 
 dream if that indeed I be not dreaming 
 
 now ! " And he hastily left the room. 
 
 " Stay awhile, stay awhile !" said the Earl, 
 as I was about to follow the Count. " You 
 are not a guest, you know ! Arthur's friend 
 is at home here ! " 
 
 " Thanks ! " I said, as, with true English 
 instincts, we drew our chairs together round 
 the fire-place, though no fire was burning- 
 Lady Muriel having taken the heap of music 
 on her knee, to have one more search for the 
 strangely-vanished song. 
 
 " Don't you sometimes feel a wild longing," 
 she said, addressing herself to me, " to have 
 something more to do with your hands, while 
 you talk, than just holding a cigar, and now 
 and then knocking off the ash ? Oh, I know 
 all that you're going to say ! " (This was to 
 Arthur, who appeared about to interrupt her.) 
 " The Majesty of Thought supersedes the
 
 xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 255 
 
 work of the fingers. A Man's severe thinking, 
 plus the shaking-off a cigar-ash, comes to the 
 same total as a Woman's trivial fancies, plus 
 the most elaborate embroidery. That's your 
 sentiment, isn't it, only better expressed ? " 
 
 Arthur looked into the radiant, mischievous 
 face, with a grave and very tender smile. 
 " Yes," he said resignedly : " that is my senti- 
 ment, exactly." 
 
 " Rest of body, and activity of mind," I put 
 in. " Some writer tells us that is the acme of 
 human happiness." 
 
 " Plenty of bodily rest, at any rate ! " Lady 
 Muriel replied, glancing at the three recum- 
 bent figures around her. " But what you call 
 activity of mind " 
 
 " is the privilege of young Physicians 
 
 only I' said the Earl. " We old men have no 
 claim to be active ! What can an old man 
 do bid die ? " 
 
 " A good many other things, I should hope" 
 Arthur said earnestly. 
 
 " Well, maybe. Still you have the advan- 
 tage of me in many ways, dear boy ! Not 
 only that your day is dawning while mine is
 
 256 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 setting, but jour interest in Life somehow I 
 
 ca'n't help envying you that. It will be many 
 a year before you lose your hold of that" 
 
 " Yet surely many human interests survive 
 human Life ? " I said. 
 
 " Many do, no doubt. And some forms of 
 Science ; but only some, I think. Mathematics, 
 for instance : that seems to possess an endless 
 interest : one ca'n't imagine any form of Life, 
 or any race of intelligent beings, where Mathe- 
 matical truth would lose its meaning. But I 
 fear Medicine stands on a different footing. 
 Suppose you discover a remedy for some dis- 
 ease hitherto supposed to be incurable. Well, 
 
 it is delightful for the moment, no doubt full 
 
 of interest perhaps it brings you fame and 
 
 fortune. But what then ? Look on, a few 
 years, into a life where disease has no exist- 
 ence. What is your discovery worth, then ? 
 Milton makes Jove promise too much. ' Of 
 so much fame in heaven expect thy meed. ' Poor 
 comfort, when one's ' fame ' concerns matters 
 that will have ceased to have a meaning ! " 
 
 " At any rate, one wouldn't care to make 
 any fresh medical discoveries," said Arthur.
 
 xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 257 
 
 " I see no help for that -though I shall be 
 sorry to give up my favorite studies. Still, 
 
 medicine, disease, pain, sorrow, sin 1 fear 
 
 they're all linked together. Banish sin, and 
 you banish them all ! " 
 
 " Military science is a yet stronger instance/' 
 said the Earl. " Without sin, war would surely 
 be impossible. Still any mind, that has had in 
 this life any keen interest, not in itself sinful, 
 will surely find itself some congenial line of 
 work hereafter. Wellington may have no more 
 battles to fight and yet 
 
 ' We doubt not that, for one so true, 
 There must be other, nobler work to do, 
 Than when he fought at Waterloo, 
 
 And Victor he must ever be ! ' ' 
 
 He lingered over the beautiful words, as if 
 he loved them : and his voice, like distant 
 music, died away into silence. 
 
 After a minute or two he began again. " If 
 I'm not wearying you, I would like to tell you 
 an idea of the future Life which has haunted 
 me for years, like a sort of waking night- 
 mare 1 ca'n't reason myself out of it." 
 
 s
 
 258 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Pray do," Arthur and I replied, almost in 
 a breath. Lady Muriel put aside the heap 
 of music, and folded her hands together. 
 
 "The one idea," the Earl resumed, "that 
 has seemed to me to overshadow all the rest, 
 
 is that of Eternity involving, as it seems to 
 
 do, the necessary exhaustion of all subjects of 
 human interest. Take Pure Mathematics, for 
 instance a Science independent of our pres- 
 ent surroundings. I have studied it, myself, 
 a little. Take the subject of circles and ellip- 
 ses what we call ' curves of the second de- 
 gree.' In a future Life, it would only be a 
 question of so many years (or hundreds of 
 years, if you like), for a man to work out all 
 their properties. Then he might go to curves 
 of the third degree. Say that took ten times 
 as long (you see we have unlimited time to 
 deal with). I can hardly imagine his interest 
 in the subject holding out even for those ; and, 
 though there is no limit to the degree of the 
 curves he might study, yet surely the time, 
 needed to exhaust all the novelty and interest 
 of the subject, would be absolutely finite ? 
 And so of all other branches of Science. And,
 
 XVI] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 259 
 
 when I transport myself, in thought, through 
 some thousands or millions of years, and fancy 
 myself possessed of as much Science as one 
 created reason can carry, I ask myself ' What 
 then ? With nothing more to learn, can one 
 rest content on knowledge, for the eternity yet 
 to be lived through ?' It has been a very 
 wearying thought to me. I have sometimes 
 fancied one might, in that event, say 'It is 
 better not to be,' and pray for personal anni- 
 hilation the Nirvana of the Buddhists." 
 
 " But that is only half the picture," I said. 
 " Besides working for oneself, may there not 
 be the helping of others ? " 
 
 " Surely, surely ! " Lady Muriel exclaimed 
 in a tone of relief, looking at her father with 
 sparkling eyes. 
 
 "Yes," said the Earl, " so long as there were 
 any others needing help. But, given ages and 
 ages more, surely all created reasons would at 
 length reach the same dead level of satiety. 
 And then what is there to look forward to ? " 
 
 " I know that weary feeling," said the young 
 Doctor. " I have gone through it all, more 
 than once. Now let me tell you how I have 
 
 s 2
 
 260 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 put it to myself. I have imagined a little child, 
 playing with toys on his nursery-floor, and yet 
 able to reason, and to look on, thirty years 
 ahead. Might he not say to himself ' By that 
 time I shall have had enough of bricks and 
 ninepins. How weary Life will be ! ' Yet, if 
 we look forward through those thirty years, we 
 find him a great statesman, full of interests and 
 joys far more intense than his baby-life could 
 give joys wholly inconceivable to his baby- 
 mind joys such as no baby-language could in 
 
 the faintest degree describe. Now, may not our 
 life, a million years hence, have the same rela- 
 tion, to our life now, that the man's life has to 
 the child's ? And, just as one might try, all in 
 vain, to express to that child, in the language 
 of bricks and ninepins, the meaning of ' politics,' 
 so perhaps all those descriptions of Heaven, 
 with its music, and its feasts, and its streets of 
 gold, may be only attempts to describe, in our 
 words, things for which we really have no 
 words at all. Don't you think that, in your 
 picture of another life, you are in fact trans- 
 planting that child into political life, without 
 making any allowance for his growing up ? "
 
 xvi] BEYOND THESE VOICES. 261 
 
 " I think I understand you," said the Earl. 
 " The music of Heaven may be something 
 beyond our powers of thought. Yet the music 
 of Earth is sweet ! Muriel, my child, sing us 
 something before we go to bed ! " 
 
 " Do," said Arthur, as he rose and lit the 
 candles on the cottage-piano, lately banished 
 from the drawing-room to make room for a 
 'semi-grand.' "There is a song here, that I 
 have never heard you sing. 
 
 'Hail to thee, blithe spirit ! 
 
 Bird tJwu never wert, 
 That from Heaven, or near it, 
 
 P cures t thy f 11 II heart ! ' ' 
 
 he read from the page he had spread open 
 before her. 
 
 ""And our little life here," the Earl went on, 
 " is, to that grand time, like a child's summer- 
 day ! One gets tired as night draws on," he 
 added, with a touch of sadness in his voice, 
 " and one gets to long for bed ! For those 
 welcome words ' Come, child, 'tis bed-time ! '
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 TO THE RESCUE ! 
 
 " IT isrit bed-time!" said a sleepy little 
 voice. " The owls hasn't gone to bed, and I 
 s'a'n't go to seep wizout oo sings to me ! " 
 
 " Oh, Bruno ! " cried Sylvie. " Don't you 
 know the owls have only just got up ? But 
 the frogs have gone to bed, ages ago." 
 
 " Well, / aren't a frog," said Bruno. 
 
 " What shall I sing ? " said Sylvie, skilfully 
 avoiding the argument. 
 
 " Ask Mister Sir," Bruno lazily replied, clasp- 
 ing his hands behind his curly head, and lying 
 back on his fern-leaf, till it almost bent over
 
 xvn] TO THE RESCUE ! 263 
 
 with his weight. " This aren't a comfable leaf, 
 
 Sylvie. Find me a comfabler please ! " he 
 
 added, as an after-thought, in obedience to a 
 warning finger held up by Sylvie. " I doosn't 
 like being feet-upwards ! " 
 
 It was a pretty sight to see the motherly 
 
 way in which the fairy-child gathered up her 
 little brother in her arms, and laid him on a 
 stronger leaf. She gave it just a touch to set 
 it rocking, and it went on vigorously by itself, 
 as if it contained some hidden machinery. It 
 certainly wasn't the wind, for the evening-breeze 
 had quite died away again, and not a leaf was 
 stirring over our heads. 
 
 "Why does that one leaf rock so, without 
 the others ? " I asked Sylvie. She only smiled 
 sweetly and shook her head. " I don't know 
 why I' she said. "It always does, if it's got a 
 fairy-child on it. It has to, you know." 
 
 " And can people see the leaf rock, who ca'n't 
 see the Fairy on it ? " 
 
 " Why, of course ! " cried Sylvie. " A leaf's 
 a leaf, and everybody can see it ; but Bruno's 
 Bruno, and they ca'n't see him, unless they're 
 eerie, like you."
 
 264 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Then I understood how it was that one 
 
 sometimes sees going through the woods in 
 
 a still evening one fern-leaf rocking steadily 
 
 on, all by itself. Haven't you ever seen that ? 
 Try if you can see the fairy-sleeper on it, next 
 time ; but don't pick the leaf, whatever you do ; 
 let the little one sleep on ! 
 
 But all this time Bruno was getting sleepier 
 and sleepier. " Sing, sing ! " he murmured fret- 
 fully. Sylvie looked to me for instructions. 
 " What shall it be ? " she said. 
 
 " Could you sing him the nursery-song you 
 once told me of ? " I suggested. " The one 
 that had been put through the mind-mangle, 
 you know. ' The little man that had a little 
 gun} I think it was. ' 
 
 "Why, that are one of the Professors 
 songs ! " cried Bruno. " I likes the little man ; 
 
 and I likes the way they spinned him like a 
 
 teetle-totle-tum." And he turned a loving look 
 on the gentle old man who was sitting at the 
 other side of his leaf-bed, and who instantly 
 began to sing, accompanying himself on his 
 Outlandish guitar, while the snail, on which he 
 sat, waved its horns in time to the music.
 
 XVIl] 
 
 TO THE RESCUE! 
 
 265 
 
 In stature the Manlet was dwarfish 
 No burly big Blunderbore he : 
 
 And he wearily gazed on tJie cra^vfish 
 His Wifelet had dressed for his tea. 
 
 " Now reach me, sweet Atom, my gunlet, 
 And hurl tJie old -shoelet for luck : 
 
 Let me hie to the bank of the runlet, 
 And shoot thee a Duck ! " 
 
 She has reached him his minikin gunlet : 
 She has hurled the old sJioelet for luck 
 
 She is busily baking a bunlet, 
 
 To welcome him Jioine with his Duck.
 
 266 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 On he speeds, never wasting a wordlet, 
 
 Though thoughtlets cling, closely as wax, 
 To the spot iv/tere the beautiful birdlet 
 So quietly quacks. 
 
 Where the Lobsterlet lurks, and the Crablet 
 
 So slowly and sleepily crawls : 
 Where the Dolphins at home, and the Dablet 
 
 Pays long ceremonious calls: 
 Where the Grublet is sought by the Froglet: 
 
 Where the Frog is pursued by the Duck : 
 Where tJie Ducklct is chased by the Doglet 
 So runs the world's hick I
 
 XVJlJ 
 
 TO THE RESCUE ! 
 
 267 
 
 He has loaded with bullet and powder : 
 His footfall is noiseless as air : 
 
 But the Voices groiv louder and louder. 
 And bellow, and bluster, and blare. 
 
 They bristle before him and after, 
 They flutter above and below, 
 
 Shrill shriekings of lubberly laughter, 
 Weird wailings of woe ! 
 
 They echo without him, wit ft in him : 
 
 They thrill through his whiskers and beard: 
 
 Like a teetotum seeming to spin him, 
 With sneers never hitherto sneered.
 
 268 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Avengement" they cry, "on our Foelet ! 
 
 Let the Manikin weep for our wrongs ! 
 Let its drench him, from toplet to toelet, 
 With Nursery-Songs ! 
 
 " He shall mnse upon ' Hey ! Diddle ! Diddle ! 
 
 On the Cow tJiat surmounted the Moon : 
 He shall rave of the Cat and tJie Fiddle, 
 
 And the Dish tJiat eloped with the Spoon: 
 A nd his soul shall be sad for the Spider, 
 
 When Jlftss Muffct zvas sipping her whey, 
 That so tenderly sat down beside her, 
 And scared her away !
 
 xvil] TO THE RESCUE ! 269 
 
 " The music of Midsummer-madness 
 Shall sting him with many a bite, 
 
 Till, in rapture of rollicking sadness, 
 He shall groan with a gloomy delight : 
 
 He shall swathe him, like mists of the morning, 
 In platitudes luscious and limp, 
 
 Such as deck, with a deathless adorning, 
 The Song of the Shrimp ! 
 
 " When the Duck let's dark doom is decided, 
 We will trundle him home in a trice : 
 
 And the banquet, so plainly provided, 
 Shall round into rose-buds and rice : 
 
 In a blaze of pragmatic invention 
 
 He shall wrestle with Fate, and shall reign 
 
 But he has not a friend fit to mention, 
 So hit him again ! " 
 
 He has shot it, the delicate darling! 
 
 And tJte Voices have ceased from their strife 
 Not a whisper of sneering or snarling, 
 
 As he carries it home to his wife: 
 Then, cheerily champing the bunlet 
 
 His spouse was so skilful to bake, 
 He hies him once more to the runlet, 
 To fetch her the Drake !
 
 270 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " He's sound asleep now," said Sylvie, care- 
 fully tucking in the edge of a violet-leaf, which 
 she had been spreading over him as a sort of 
 blanket: "good night!" 
 
 " Good night ! " I echoed. 
 
 " You may well say ' good night ' ! " laughed 
 Lady Muriel, rising and shutting up the piano 
 
 as she spoke. When you've been nid nid 
 
 nodding all the time I've been singing for 
 
 your benefit ! What was it all about, now ? " 
 she demanded imperiously. 
 
 " Something about a duck ? " I hazarded. 
 "Well, a bird of some kind?" I corrected 
 myself, perceiving at once that that guess was 
 wrong, at any rate. 
 
 "Something about a bird of some kind!" 
 Lady Muriel repeated, with as much withering 
 scorn as her sweet face was capable of con- 
 veying. " And that's the way he speaks of 
 Shelley's Sky- Lark, is it? When the Poet 
 particularly says ' Hail to thee y blithe spirit ! 
 Bird thou never wert ! ' 
 
 She led the way to the smoking-room, where, 
 ignoring all the usages of Society and all the 
 instincts of Chivalry, the three Lords of the
 
 XVII] 
 
 TO THE RESCUE! 
 
 271 
 
 Creation reposed at their ease in low rocking- 
 chairs, and permitted the one lady who was 
 present to glide gracefully about among us, 
 supplying our wants in the form of cooling 
 drinks, cigarettes, and lights. Nay, it was only 
 one of the three who had the chivalry to go
 
 272 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 beyond the common-place " thank you," and to 
 quote the Poet's exquisite description of how 
 Geraint, when waited on by Enid, was moved 
 
 " To stoop and kiss the tender little thumb 
 TJiat crossed the platter as she laid it down" 
 
 and to suit the action to the word an auda- 
 cious liberty for which, I feel bound to report, 
 he was not duly reprimanded. 
 
 As no topic of conversation seemed to occur 
 to any one, and as we were, all four, on those 
 delightful terms with one another (the only 
 terms, I think, on which any friendship, that 
 deserves the name of intimacy, can be main- 
 tained) which involve no sort of necessity for 
 speaking for mere speaking's sake, we sat in 
 silence for some minutes. 
 
 At length I broke the silence by asking " Is 
 there any fresh news from the harbour about 
 the Fever ?" 
 
 " None since this morning," the Earl said, 
 looking very grave. " But that was alarming 
 enough. The Fever is spreading fast : the 
 London doctor has taken fright and left the 
 place, and the only one now available isn't a
 
 xvn] TO THE RESCUE! 273 
 
 regular doctor at all : he is apothecary, and 
 doctor, and dentist, and I don't know what 
 other trades, all in one. It's a bad outlook 
 
 for those poor fishermen and a worse one 
 
 for all the women and children." 
 
 " How many are there of them altogether ? " 
 Arthur asked. 
 
 " There were nearly one hundred, a week 
 ago," said the Earl: "but there have been 
 twenty or thirty deaths since then." 
 
 "And what religious ministrations are there 
 to be had ? " 
 
 " There are three brave men down there," 
 the Earl replied, his voice trembling with emo- 
 tion, " gallant heroes as ever won the Victoria 
 Cross ! I am certain that no one of the three 
 will ever leave the place merely to save his 
 own life. There's the Curate : his wife is with 
 him : they have no children. Then there's the 
 Roman Catholic Priest. And there's the Wes- 
 leyan Minister. They go amongst their own 
 flocks, mostly ; but I'm told that those who 
 are dying like to have any of the three with 
 them. How slight the barriers seem to be 
 that part Christian from Christian, when one 
 
 T
 
 274 . SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 has to deal with the great facts of Life and the 
 reality of Death ! " 
 
 "So it must be, and so it should be 
 Arthur was beginning, when the front-door 
 bell rang, suddenly and violently. 
 
 We heard the front-door hastily opened, and 
 voices outside : then a knock at the door of 
 the smoking-room, and the old house-keeper 
 appeared, looking a little scared. 
 
 " Two persons, my Lord, to speak with Dr. 
 Forester." 
 
 Arthur stepped outside at once, and we heard 
 his cheery " Well, my men ? " but the answer 
 was less audible, the only words I could dis- 
 tinctly catch being " ten since morning, and two 
 more just 
 
 '' But there is a doctor there ? " we heard 
 Arthur say : and a deep voice, that we had not 
 heard before, replied " Dead, Sir. Died three 
 hours ago." 
 
 Lady Muriel shuddered, and hid her face in 
 her hands : but at this moment the front-door 
 was quietly closed, and we heard no more. 
 
 For a few minutes we sat quite silent : then 
 the Earl left the room, and soon returned to
 
 XVH] TO THE RESCUE! 275 
 
 tell us that Arthur had gone away with the 
 two fishermen, leaving word that he would 
 be back in about an hour. And, true enough, 
 
 at the end of that interval during which 
 
 very little was said, none of us seeming to 
 
 have the heart to talk the front-door once 
 
 more creaked on its rusty hinges, and a step 
 was heard in the passage, hardly to be recog- 
 nised as Arthur's, so slow and uncertain was 
 it, like a blind man feeling his way. 
 
 He came in, and stood before Lady Muriel, 
 resting one hand heavily on the table, and 
 with a strange look in his eyes, as if he were 
 walking in his sleep. 
 
 " Muriel my love " he paused, and his 
 
 lips quivered : but after a minute he went on 
 
 more steadily. " Muriel my darling they 
 
 want me down in the harbour." 
 
 " Must you go ? " she pleaded, rising and 
 laying her hands on his shoulders, and looking 
 up into his face with her great eyes brimming 
 over with tears. " Must yoii go, Arthur ? It 
 may mean death \ " 
 
 He met her gaze without flinching. " It 
 does mean death," he said, in a husky whisper : 
 
 T 2
 
 276 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " but darling 1 am called. And even my 
 
 life itself His voice failed him, and he 
 
 said no more. 
 
 For a minute she stood quite silent, looking 
 upwards with a helpless gaze, as if even prayer 1 
 were now useless, while her features worked 
 and quivered with the great agony she was 
 enduring. Then a sudden inspiration seemed 
 to come upon her and light up her face with 
 a strange sweet smile. " Your life ?" she re- 
 peated. "It is not yours to give ! " 
 
 Arthur had recovered himself by this time, 
 and could reply quite firmly, " That is true," he 
 said. " It is not mine to give. It is yours, now, 
 
 my wife that is to be ! And you && you 
 
 forbid me to go ? Will you not spare me, my 
 own beloved one ? " 
 
 Still clinging to him, she laid her head softly 
 on his breast. She had never done such a 
 thing in my presence before, and I knew how 
 deeply she must be moved. " I will spare you," 
 she said, calmly and quietly, "to God." 
 
 "And to God's poor,' : he whispered. 
 
 "And to God's poor," she added. "When 
 must it be, sweet love ? "
 
 XVI I] 
 
 TO THE RESCUE! 
 
 277 
 
 " To-morrow morning," he replied. " And I 
 have much to do before then." 
 
 And then he told us how he had spent his 
 hour of absence. He had been to the Vicarage, 
 and had arranged for the wedding to take place 
 at eight the next morning (there was no legal 
 obstacle, as he had, some time before this, 
 obtained a Special License) in the little church
 
 278 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 we knew so well. " My old friend here," 
 indicating me, " will act as ' Best Man,' I know : 
 your father will be there to give you away : 
 
 and and- you will dispense with bride's- 
 
 maids, my darling ? " 
 
 She nodded : no words came. 
 
 " And then I can go with a willing heart 
 
 to do God's work knowing that we are one 
 
 and that we are together in spirit, though 
 
 not in bodily presence and are most of all 
 
 together when we pray ! Our prayers will go 
 up together 
 
 "Yes, yes!" sobbed Lady Muriel. "But 
 you must not stay longer now, my darling ! 
 Go home and take some rest. You will need 
 all your strength to-morrow 
 
 14 Well, I will go," said Arthur. " We will 
 be here in good time to-morrow. Good night, 
 my own own darling ! " 
 
 I followed his example, and we two left the 
 house together. As we walked back to our 
 lodgings, Arthur sighed deeply once or twice, 
 
 and seemed about to speak but no words 
 
 came, till we had entered the house, and had 
 lit our candles, and were at our bedroom-
 
 xvn] TO THE RESCUE ! 279 
 
 doors. Then Arthur said "Good night, old 
 fellow ! God bless you ! " 
 
 " God bless you ! " I echoed, from the very 
 depths of my heart. 
 
 We were back again at the Hall by eight in 
 the morning, and found Lady Muriel and the 
 Earl, and the old Vicar, waiting for us. It was 
 a strangely sad and silent party that walked up 
 to the little church and back ; and I could not 
 help feeling that it was much more like a funeral 
 than a wedding : to Lady Muriel it was in fact, a 
 funeral rather than a wedding, so heavily did 
 the presentiment weigh upon her (as she told 
 us afterwards) that her newly-won husband was 
 going forth to his death. 
 
 Then we had breakfast ; and, all too soon, 
 the vehicle was at the door, which was to con- 
 vey Arthur, first to his lodgings, to pick up the 
 things he was taking with him, and then as 
 far towards the death-stricken hamlet as it was 
 considered safe to go. One or two of the 
 fishermen were to meet him on the road, to 
 carry his things the rest of the way. 
 
 " And are you quite sure you are taking all 
 that you will need ? " Lady Muriel a,sked.
 
 280 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " All that I shall need as a doctor, certainly. 
 And my own personal needs are few : I shall 
 not even take any of my own wardrobe- 
 there is a fisherman's suit, ready-made, that 
 is waiting for me at my lodgings. I shall 
 only take my watch, and a few books, and 
 
 stay there is one book I should like to add, 
 
 a pocket-Testament to use at the bedsides 
 
 of the sick and dying 
 
 " Take mine ! " said Lady Muriel : and she 
 ran upstairs to fetch it. "It has nothing 
 written in it but ' Muriel,' " she said as she 
 returned with it : " shall I inscribe 
 
 " No, my own one," said Arthur, taking it 
 from her. ' ' What could you inscribe better 
 than that ? Could any human name mark it 
 more clearly as my own individual property ? 
 Are you not mine ? Are you not," (with all 
 the old playfulness of manner) " as Bruno 
 would say, ' my very mine ' ? " 
 
 He bade a long and loving adieu to the 
 Earl and to me, and left the room, accompanied 
 only by his wife, who was bearing up bravely, 
 
 and was outwardly, at least less overcome 
 
 than her old father. We waited in the room a
 
 xvil] TO THE RESCUE! 281 
 
 minute or two, till the sound of wheels had told 
 us that Arthur had driven away ; and even 
 then we waited still, for the step of Lady 
 Muriel, going upstairs to her room, to die away 
 in the distance. Her step, usually so light 
 and joyous, now sounded slow and weary, like 
 one who plods on under a load of hopeless 
 misery ; and I felt almost as hopeless, and 
 almost as wretched, as she. "Are we four 
 destined ever to meet again, on this side the 
 grave ? " I asked myself, as I walked to my 
 home. And the tolling of a distant bell seemed 
 to answer me, "No! No I No!"
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 A NEWSPAPER-CUTTING. 
 EXTRACT FROM THE " FAY FIELD CHRONICLE? 
 
 Our readers will have followed with painful 
 interest, the accounts we have from time to time 
 piiblished of the terrible epidemic which has, 
 ditring the last two months, carried off most of 
 the inhabitants of the little fishing-harbour ad- 
 joining the village of Elveston. The last sur- 
 vivors, numbering twenty-three only, oztt of a 
 population which, three short months ago, ex- 
 ceeded one hundred and twenty, were removed 
 on Wednesday last, under the authority of the
 
 xvm] A NEWSPAPER-CUTTING. 283 
 
 Local Board, and safely lodged in the County 
 Hospital : and the place is now veritably ' a city 
 of the dead} without a single human voice to 
 break its silence. 
 
 The rescuing party consisted of six sturdy 
 fellows -fishermen from the neighbourhood- 
 directed by the resident Physician of the Hos- 
 pital, who came over for that purpose, heading a 
 train of hospital-ambulances. The six men had 
 been selected -from a mucJi larger number who 
 had volunteered for this peace f^d 'forlorn hope ' 
 
 for their strength and robust health, as the 
 expedition was considered to be, even now, when 
 the malady has expended its chief force, not 
 unattended with danger. 
 
 Every precaution that science could suggest, 
 against the risk of infection, was adopted : and 
 the sufferers were tenderly carried on litters, 
 one by one, up the steep hill, and placed in the 
 ambulances which, each provided with a hospital 
 nurse, were waiting on the level road. The 
 fifteen miles, to the Hospital, were done at a 
 walking-pace, as some of the patients were in too 
 prostrate a condition to bear jolting, and the 
 journey occupied the whole afternoon.
 
 284 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 The twenty-three patients consist of nine men, 
 six women, and eight children. It has not been 
 found possible to identify them all, as some of 
 the children -left with no surviving relatives 
 are infants ; and two men and one woman 
 are not yet able to make rational replies, the 
 brain-powers being entirely in abeyance. Among 
 a -more well-to-do-race, there would no doubt 
 have been names marked on the clothes; but 
 here no such evidence is forthcoming. 
 
 Besides the poor fishermen and their families, 
 there were b^lt five persons to be accounted for : 
 and it was ascertained, beyond a doubt, that all 
 five are numbered with the dead. It is a melan- 
 choly pleasure to place on record the names of 
 
 these genuine martyrs than whom none, surely, 
 
 are more worthy to be entered on the glory-roll 
 of England s heroes ! They are as follows : 
 
 The Rev. James Biirgess, M.A., and Emma 
 his wife. He was the Curate at the Harbour, 
 not thirty years old, and had been married only 
 two years. A written record was found in 
 their house, of the dates of -their deaths. 
 
 Next to theirs we will place the honoured 
 name of Dr. Arthur Forester, who, on the death
 
 xvm] A NEWSPAPER-CUTTING. 285 
 
 of the local physician, nobly faced the imminent 
 peril of death, rather than leave these poor folk 
 uncared for in their last extremity. No record 
 of his name, or of the date of his death, was 
 found: but the corpse was easily identified, 
 although dressed in the ordinary fisherman s 
 suit (which he was known to have adopted when 
 he went down there], by a copy of the New 
 Testament, the gift of his wife, which was 
 found, placed next his heart, with his hands 
 crossed over it. It was not thoiight prudent to 
 remove the body, for burial elsewhere : and ac- 
 cordingly it was at once committed to the gro2ind, 
 along with four others found in different houses, 
 with all diie reverence. His wife, whose maiden 
 name was Lady Muriel Orme, had been married 
 to him on the very morning on which he under- 
 took his self-sacrificing mission. 
 
 Next we record the Rev. Walter Saunders, 
 Wesley an Minister. His death is believed to 
 have taken place two or three weeks ago, as the 
 words ' Died October 5 ' were found written on 
 the wall of the room which he is known to have 
 occupied the house being shut up, and appar- 
 ently not having been entered for some time.
 
 286 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Last though not a whit behind the other 
 
 four in glorious self-denial and devotion to duty 
 
 let us record the name of Father Francis, 
 a young fe suit Priest who had been only a few 
 months in the place. He had not been dead 
 many hours when the exploring party came 2ipon 
 the body, which was identified, beyond the possi- 
 bility of doubt, by the dress, and by the crucifix, 
 which was, like the young Doctor s Testament, 
 clasped closely to his heart. 
 
 Since reaching the hospital, two of the men 
 and one of the children have died. Hope is en- 
 tertained for all the others : though there are 
 two or three cases where the vital powers seem 
 to be so entirely exhausted that it is but ' hoping 
 against hope ' to regard ultimate recovery as 
 even possible.
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 A FAIRY-DUET. 
 
 THE year what an eventful year it had 
 
 been for me ! was drawing to a close, and 
 
 the brief wintry day hardly gave light enough 
 to recognise the old familiar objects, bound up 
 with so many happy memories, as the train 
 glided round the last bend into the station, 
 and the hoarse cry of " Elveston ! Elveston ! " 
 resounded along the platform. 
 
 It was sad to return to the place, and to 
 feel that I should never again see the glad 
 smile of welcome, that had awaited me here 
 so few months ago. "And yet, if I were to
 
 288 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED 
 
 find him here," I muttered, as in solitary state 
 I followed the porter, who was wheeling my 
 luggage on a barrow, "and if he were to 'strike 
 a sudden hand in mine, And ask a thousand 
 
 things of home', I should not no, ' / should 
 
 not feel u to be strange ' / " 
 
 Having given directions to have my luggage 
 taken to my old lodgings, I strolled off alone, 
 to pay a visit, before settling down in my own 
 
 quarters, to my dear old friends for such I 
 
 indeed felt them to be, though it was barely 
 
 half a year since first we met the Earl and 
 
 his widowed daughter. 
 
 The shortest way, as I well remembered, was 
 to cross through the churchyard. I pushed 
 open the little wicket-gate and slowly took my 
 way among the solemn memorials of the quiet 
 dead, thinking of the many who had, during 
 the past year, disappeared from the place, and 
 had gone to 'join the majority.' A very few 
 steps brought me in sight of the object of my 
 search. Lady Muriel, dressed in the deepest 
 mourning, her face hidden by a long crape veil, 
 was kneeling before a little marble cross, round 
 which she was fastening a wreath of flowers.
 
 xix] A FAIRY- DUET. 289 
 
 The cross stood on a piece of level turf, un- 
 broken by any mound, and I knew that it was 
 simply a memorial-cross, for one whose dust 
 reposed elsewhere, even before reading the 
 simple inscription : 
 
 In loving Memory of 
 ARTHUR FORESTER, M.D. 
 
 whose mortal remains lie buried by the sea : 
 whose spirit has returned to God who gave it. 
 
 "reater lobe fyatfj no man tfjan tfjts, tfyat 
 a man lag iofon tys life for fjis friends." 
 
 She threw back her veil on seeing me ap- 
 proach, and came forwards to meet me, with a 
 quiet smile, and far more self-possessed than I 
 could have expected. 
 
 " It is quite like old times, seeing you here 
 again ! " she said, in tones of genuine pleasure. 
 " Have you been to see my father ? " 
 
 " No," I said : " I was on my way there, and 
 came through here as the shortest way. I 
 hope he is well, and you also ? " 
 
 " Thanks, we are both quite well. And you ? 
 Are you any better yet ? " 
 
 u
 
 2QQ SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "Not much better, I fear : but no worse, I 
 am thankful to say." 
 
 " Let us sit here awhile, and have a quiet 
 chat," she said. The calmness almost in- 
 difference of her manner quite took me by 
 
 surprise. I little guessed what a fierce restraint 
 she was putting upon herself. 
 
 " One can be so quiet here," she resumed. 
 " I come here every every day." 
 
 " It is very peaceful," I said. 
 
 " You got my letter ? " 
 
 " Yes, but I delayed writing. It is so hard 
 to say on paper " 
 
 " I know. It was kind of you. You were 
 
 with us when we saw the last of She 
 
 paused a moment, and went on more hurriedly. 
 " I went down to the harbour several times, 
 but no one knows which of those vast graves it 
 is. However, they showed me the house he 
 died in : that was some comfort. I stood in the 
 very room where where ." She strug- 
 gled in vain to go on. The flood-gates had 
 given way at last, and the outburst of grief was 
 the most terrible I had ever witnessed. Totally 
 regardless of my presence, she flung herself
 
 XIX] 
 
 A FAIRY-DUET. 
 
 down on the turf, burying her face in the grass, 
 and with her hands clasped round the little 
 marble cross, " Oh, my darling, my darling ! " 
 she sobbed. " And God meant your life to be 
 so beautiful ! " 
 
 I was startled to hear, thus repeated by Lady 
 Muriel, the very words of the darling child 
 whom I had seen weeping so bitterly over 
 the dead hare. Had some mysterious influ- 
 ence passed, from that sweet fairy-spirit, ere 
 
 u 2
 
 292 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 she went back to Fairyland, into the human 
 spirit that loved her so dearly ? The idea 
 seemed too wild for belief. And yet, are there 
 not ' more things in heaven and earth than 
 are dreamt of in oiir philosophy ' ? 
 
 " God meant it to be beautiful," I whispered, 
 " and surely it was beautiful ? God's purpose 
 never fails ! " I dared say no more, but rose 
 and left her. At the entrance-gate to the 
 Earl's house I waited, leaning on the gate and 
 watching the sun set, revolving many memories 
 
 some happy, some sorrowful until Lady 
 
 Muriel joined me. 
 
 She was quite calm again now. " Do come 
 in," she said. " My father will be so pleased 
 to see you ! " 
 
 The old man rose from his chair, with a smile, 
 to welcome me ; but his self-command was far 
 less than his daughter's, and the tears coursed 
 down his face as he grasped both my hands 
 in his, and pressed them warmly. 
 
 My heart was too full to speak ; and we all 
 sat silent for a minute or two. Then Lady 
 Muriel rang the bell for tea. " You do take 
 five o'clock tea, I know ! " she said to me,
 
 xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 293 
 
 with the sweet playfulness of manner I remem- 
 bered so well, " even though you cant work 
 your wicked will on the Law of Gravity, and 
 make the teacups descend into Infinite Space, 
 a little faster than the tea ! " 
 
 This remark gave the tone to our conversa- 
 tion. By a tacit mutual consent, we avoided, 
 during this our first meeting after her great 
 sorrow, the painful topics that filled our thoughts, 
 and talked like light-hearted children who had 
 never known a care. 
 
 " Did you ever ask yourself the question," 
 Lady Muriel began, a propos of nothing, 
 " what is the chief advantage of being a Man 
 instead of a Dog ? " 
 
 " No, indeed," I said : " but I think there 
 are advantages on the Dog's side of the 
 question, as well." 
 
 " No doubt," she replied, with that pretty 
 mock-gravity that became her so well : " but, 
 on Mans side, the chief advantage seems to 
 me to consist in having pockets ! It was borne 
 
 in upon me upon us, I should say ; for my 
 
 father and I were returning from a walk- 
 only yesterday. We met a dog carrying home
 
 294 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 a bone. What it wanted it for, I've no idea: 
 certainly there was no meat on it 
 
 A strange sensation came over me, that I 
 had heard all this, or something exactly like 
 it, before : and I almost expected her next 
 words to be " perhaps he meant to make a 
 cloak for the winter ? " However what she 
 really said was "and my father tried to ac- 
 count for it by some wretched joke about pro 
 bono publico. Well, the dog laid down the 
 
 bone not in disgust with the pun, which 
 
 would have shown it to be a dog of taste- 
 but simply to rest its jaws, poor thing ! I 
 did pity it so ! Won't you join my Charitable 
 Association for supplying dogs with pockets ? 
 How would you like to have to carry your 
 walking-stick in your mouth ? " 
 
 Ignoring the difficult question as to the 
 raison dtre of a walking-stick, supposing one 
 had no hands, I mentioned a curious instance, 
 I had once witnessed, of reasoning by a dog. 
 A gentleman, with a lady, and child, and a 
 large dog, were down at the end of a pier on 
 which I was walking. To amuse his child, 
 I suppose, the gentleman put down on the
 
 Xixj A FAIRY-DUET. 295 
 
 ground his umbrella and the lady's parasol, 
 and then led the way to the other end of the 
 pier, from which he sent the dog back for the 
 deserted articles. I was watching with some 
 curiosity. The dog came racing back to where 
 I stood, but found an unexpected difficulty in 
 picking 'up the things it had come for. With 
 the umbrella in its mouth, its jaws were so 
 far apart that it could get no firm grip on the 
 parasol. After two or three failures, it paused 
 and considered the matter. 
 
 Then it put down the umbrella and began 
 with the parasol. Of course that didn't open 
 its jaws nearly so wide, and it was able to 
 get a good hold of the umbrella, and galloped 
 off in triumph. One couldn't doubt that it had 
 gone through a real train of logical thought. 
 
 " I entirely agree with you," said Lady 
 Muriel : "but don't orthodox writers condemn 
 that view, as putting Man on the level of the 
 lower animals ? Don't they draw a sharp 
 boundary-line between Reason and Instinct?" 
 
 " That certainly was the orthodox view, a 
 generation ago," said the Earl. " The truth 
 of Religion seemed ready to stand or fall with
 
 296 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 the assertion that Man was the only reasoning 
 animal. But that is at an end now. Man can 
 
 still claim certain monopolies for instance, 
 
 such a use of language as enables us to utilise 
 the work of many, by ' division of labour.' 
 But the belief, that we have a monopoly of 
 Reason, has long been swept away. Yet no 
 catastrophe has followed. As some old poet 
 says, ' God is where he was' ' 
 
 " Most religious believers would now agree 
 with Bishop Butler," said I, "and not reject 
 a line of argument, even if it led straight to 
 the conclusion that animals have some kind 
 of soul, which survives their bodily death." 
 
 " I would like to know that to be true ! " 
 Lady Muriel exclaimed. "If only for the sake 
 of trie poor horses. Sometimes I've thought 
 that, if anything could make me cease to be- 
 lieve in a God of perfect justice, it would be 
 the sufferings of horses without guilt to de- 
 serve it, and without any compensation ! " 
 
 " It is only part of the great Riddle," said 
 the Earl, "why innocent beings ever suffer. It 
 
 is a great strain on Faith but not a breaking 
 
 strain, I think."
 
 xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 297 
 
 "The sufferings of horses" I said, "are 
 chiefly caused by Mans cruelty. So that is 
 merely one of the many instances of Sin 
 causing suffering to others than the Sinner 
 himself. But don't you find a greater diffi- 
 culty in sufferings inflicted by animals upon 
 each other ? For instance, a cat playing with 
 a mouse. Assuming it to have no moral 
 responsibility, isn't that a greater mystery 
 than a man over-driving a horse ? " 
 
 " I think it is" said Lady Muriel, looking a 
 mute appeal to her father. 
 
 " What right have we to make that assump- 
 tion ? " said the Earl. " Many of our religious 
 difficulties are merely deductions from unwar- 
 ranted assumptions. The wisest answer to 
 most of them, is, I think, ' behold, we know not 
 anything? ' : 
 
 " You mentioned ' division of labour,' just 
 now," I said. " Surely it is carried to a 
 wonderful perfection in a hive of bees ? " 
 
 " So wonderful so entirely super-human 
 
 said the Earl, " and so entirely incon- 
 sistent with the intelligence they show in other 
 ways that I feel no doubt at all that it is
 
 298 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 pure Instinct, and not, as some hold, a very 
 high order of Reason. Look at the utter 
 stupidity of a bee, trying to find its way out of 
 an open window! It doesrit try, in any rea- 
 sonable sense of the word : it simply bangs 
 itself about ! We should call a puppy imbecile, 
 that behaved so. And yet we are asked to 
 believe that its intellectual level is above Sir 
 Isaac Newton ! " 
 
 "Then you hold that pure Instinct contains 
 no Reason at all ? " 
 
 " On the contrary," said the Earl, " I hold 
 that the work of a bee-hive involves Reason of 
 the highest order. But none of it is done by 
 the Bee. God has reasoned it all out, and has 
 put into the mind of the Bee the conclusions, 
 only, of the reasoning process." 
 
 " But how do their minds come to work 
 together?" I asked. 
 
 "What right have we to assume that they 
 have minds ? " 
 
 " Special pleading, special pleading ! " Lady 
 Muriel cried, in a most unfilial tone of triumph. 
 " Why, you yourself said, just now, ' the mind 
 of the Bee'!"
 
 xix] A FAIRY- DUET. 299 
 
 "But I did not say ' minds,' my child," the 
 Earl gently replied. "It has occurred to me, 
 as the most probable solution of the ' Bee '- 
 mystery, that a swarm of Bees have only one 
 mind among them. We often see one mind 
 animating a most complex collection of limbs 
 and organs, when joined together. How do 
 we know that any material connection is neces- 
 sary ? May not mere neighbourhood be 
 enough ? If so, a swarm of bees is simply a 
 single animal whose many limbs are not quite 
 close together ! " 
 
 " It is a bewildering thought," I said, " and 
 needs a night's rest to grasp it properly. Rea- 
 son and Instinct both tell me I ought to go 
 home. So, good-night ! " 
 
 " I'll ' set ' you part of the way," said Lady 
 Muriel. " I've had no walk to-day. It will 
 do me good, and I have more to say to you. 
 Shall we go through the wood ? It will be 
 pleasanter than over the common, even though 
 it is getting a little dark." 
 
 We turned aside into the shade of interlacing 
 boughs, which formed an architecture of almost 
 perfect symmetry, grouped into lovely groined
 
 300 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 arches, or running out, far as the eye could 
 follow, into endless aisles, and chancels, and 
 naves, like some ghostly cathedral, fashioned 
 out of the dream of a moon-struck poet. 
 
 "Always, in this wood," she began after a 
 pause (silence seemed natural in this dim 
 solitude), " I begin thinking of Fairies ! May 
 I ask you a question ? " she added hesitatingly. 
 " Do you believe in Fairies ? " 
 
 The momentary impulse was so strong to 
 tell her of my experiences in this very wood, 
 that I had to make a real effort to keep back 
 the words that rushed to my lips. "If you 
 mean, by ' believe,' ' believe in their possible 
 existence,' I say 'Yes.' For their actual exist- 
 ence, of course, one would need evidence" 
 
 " You were saying, the other day," she went 
 on, " that you would accept anything, on good 
 evidence, that was not a priori impossible. 
 And I think you named Ghosts as an instance 
 of a provable phenomenon. Would Fairies be 
 another instance ? " 
 
 " Yes, I think so." And again it was hard 
 to check the wish to say more : but I was not 
 yet sure of a sympathetic listener.
 
 xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 301 
 
 "And have you any theory as to what sort 
 of place they would occupy in Creation ? Do 
 tell me what you think about them ! Would 
 they, for instance (supposing such beings to 
 exist), would they have any moral responsi- 
 bility ? I mean " (and the light bantering tone 
 suddenly changed to one of deep seriousness) 
 "would they be capable of sin?" 
 
 " They can reason on a lower level, per- 
 haps, than men and women never rising, I 
 
 think, above the faculties of a child ; and they 
 have a moral sense, most surely. Such a 
 being, without free will, would be an absurdity. 
 So I am driven to the conclusion that they 
 are capable of sin." 
 
 " You believe in them ? " she cried de- 
 lightedly, with a sudden motion as if about to 
 clap her hands. " Now tell me, have you any 
 reason for it ? " 
 
 And still I strove to keep back the revela- 
 tion I felt sure was coming. " I believe that 
 
 there is life everywhere not material only, 
 
 not merely what is palpable to our senses but 
 
 immaterial and invisible as well. We believe 
 in our own immaterial essence call it ' soul,'
 
 302 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 or ' spirit,' or what you will. Why should not 
 other similar essences exist around us, not 
 linked on to a visible and material body ? 
 Did not God make this swarm of happy in- 
 sects, to dance in this sunbeam for one hour of 
 bliss, for no other object, that we can imagine, 
 than to swell . the sum of conscious happiness ? 
 And where shall we dare to draw the line, and 
 say ' He has made all these and no more ' ? " 
 
 " Yes, yes ! " she assented, watching me with 
 sparkling eyes. " But these are only reasons 
 for not denying. You have more reasons than 
 this, have you not ? " 
 
 " Well, yes," I said, feeling I might safely 
 tell all now. "And I could not find a fitter 
 
 time or place to say it. I have seen them 
 
 and in this very wood ! " 
 
 Lady Muriel asked no more questions. Si- 
 lently she paced at my side, with head bowed 
 down and hands clasped tightly together. 
 Only, as my tale went on, she drew a little 
 short quick breath now and then, like a child 
 panting with delight. And I told her what I 
 had never yet breathed to any other listener, 
 of my double life, and, more than that (for
 
 xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 303 
 
 mine might have been but a noonday-dream), 
 of the double life of those two dear children. 
 
 And when I told her of Bruno's wild gambols, 
 she laughed merrily ; and when I spoke of 
 Sylvie's sweetness and her utter unselfishness 
 and trustful love, she drew a deep breath, like 
 one who hears at last some precious tidings for 
 which the heart has ached for a long while ; 
 and the happy tears chased one another down 
 her cheeks. 
 
 " I have often longed to meet an angel," she 
 whispered, so low that I could hardly catch the 
 words. " I'm so glad I've seen Sylvie ! My 
 heart went out to the child the first moment 
 
 that I saw her Listen ! " she broke off 
 
 suddenly. " That's Sylvie singing ! I'm sure 
 of it ! Don't you know her voice ? " 
 
 " I have heard Brimo sing, more than once," 
 I said : " but I never heard Sylvie." 
 
 " I have only heard her once" said Lady- 
 Muriel. " It was that day when you brought 
 us those mysterious flowers. The children 
 had run out into the garden ; and I saw Eric 
 coming in that way, and went to the window 
 to meet him : and Sylvie was singing, under
 
 304 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 the trees, a song I had never heard before. 
 The words were something like ' I think it is 
 Love, I feel it is Love.' Her voice sounded 
 far away, like a dream, but it was beautiful 
 
 beyond all words as sweet as an infant's 
 
 first smile, or the first gleam of the white, cliffs 
 when one is coming home after weary years 
 
 a voice that seemed to fill one's whole 
 
 being with peace and heavenly thoughts- 
 Listen ! " she cried, breaking off again in her 
 excitement. " That is her voice, and that's 
 the very song ! " 
 
 I could distinguish no words, but there was 
 a dreamy sense of music in the air that seemed 
 to grow ever louder and louder, as if coming 
 nearer to us. We stood quite silent, and in 
 another minute the two children appeared, 
 coming straight towards us through an arched 
 opening among the trees. Each had an arm 
 round the other, and the setting sun shed a 
 golden halo round their heads, like what one 
 sees in pictures of saints. They were looking 
 in our direction, but evidently did not see us, 
 and I soon made out that Lady Muriel had 
 for once passed into a condition familiar to
 
 xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 305 
 
 me, that we were both of us ' eerie ', and that, 
 though we could see the children so plainly, 
 we were quite invisible to them. 
 
 The song ceased just as they came into 
 sight : but, to my delight, Bruno instantly said 
 " Let's sing it all again, Sylvie ! It did sound 
 so pretty ! " And Sylvie replied " Very well. 
 It's you to begin, you know." 
 
 So Bruno began, in the sweet childish treble 
 I knew so well : 
 
 "Say, what is tJie spell, when her fledgelings are 
 
 cheeping, 
 
 That hires the bird home to her nest ? 
 Or ivakes the tired mother, whose infant is weeping, 
 
 To cuddle and croon it to rest? 
 Whafs the magic that charms the glad babe in her 
 
 arms, 
 Till it cooes with the voice of the dove ? " 
 
 And now ensued quite the strangest of all 
 the strange experiences that marked the won- 
 derful year whose history I am writing the 
 
 experience of first hearing Sylvie's voice in 
 
 song. Her part was a very short one only a 
 
 few words and she sang it timidly, and very 
 
 low indeed, scarcely audibly, but the sweetness 
 
 'x
 
 306 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 of her voice was simply indescribable ; I have 
 never heard any earthly music like it. 
 
 " ' Tis a secret, and so let ^^s whisper it low 
 A nd the name of the secret is Love ! " 
 
 On me the first effect of her voice was a 
 sudden sharp pang that seemed to pierce 
 through one's very heart. (I had felt such a 
 pang only once before in my life, and it had 
 been from seeing what, at the moment, realised 
 
 one's idea of perfect beauty it was in a 
 
 London exhibition, where, in making my way 
 through a crowd, I suddenly met, face to face, 
 a child of quite unearthly beauty.) Then came 
 a rush of burning tears to the eyes, as though 
 one could weep one's soul away for pure de- 
 light. And lastly there fell on me a sense of 
 
 awe that was almost terror some such feeling 
 
 as Moses must have had when he heard the 
 words " Put off thy shoes from off thy feet, 
 for the place whereon thou standest is holy 
 ground" The figures of the children be- 
 came vague and shadowy, like glimmering 
 meteors : while their voices rang together in 
 exquisite harmony as they sang :
 
 Xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 307 
 
 " For I think it is Love, 
 
 For I feel it is Love, 
 For Pm sure it is notJiing but Love!" 
 
 By this time I could see them clearly once 
 more. Bruno again sang by himself: 
 
 " Say, whence is the voice that, when anger is 
 
 burning, 
 
 Bids the whirl of the tempest to cease ? 
 That stirs the vexed soul with an aching a 
 
 yearning 
 
 For the brotherly hand-grip of peace ? 
 Whence the music that fills all our being th fit- 
 thrills 
 A round us, beneath, and above ? " 
 
 Sylvie sang more courageously, this time : 
 the words seemed to carry her away, out of 
 herself : 
 
 " ' Tis a secret : none knows how it comes, how it 
 
 goes : 
 But the name of the secret is Love!" 
 
 And clear and strong the chorus rang out : 
 
 " For I think it is Love, 
 
 For I feel it is Love, 
 For I'm sure it is nothing but Love ! " 
 
 X 2
 
 308 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Once more we heard Bruno's delicate little 
 voice alone : 
 
 " Say whose is the skill that paints valley and hill, 
 
 Like a picture so fair to the sight ? 
 That flecks the green meadow with sunshine and 
 
 shadow, 
 Till the little lambs leap with delight ? " 
 
 And again uprose that silvery voice, whose 
 angelic sweetness I could hardly bear : 
 
 "'Tts a secret untold to hearts cruel and cold, 
 
 Though 'tis siing, by the angels above, 
 In notes that ring clear for the ears that can 
 
 hear 
 And the name of the secret is Love!" 
 
 And then Bruno joined in again with 
 
 " For I think it is Love, 
 
 For I feel it is Love, 
 For I'm sure it is nothing but Love!" 
 
 " That are pretty ! " the little fellow exclaimed, 
 
 as the children passed us so closely that we 
 
 drew back a little to make room for them, and 
 it seemed we had only to reach out a hand to 
 touch them : but this we did not attempt.
 
 xix] A FAIRY-DUET. 309 
 
 " No use to try and stop them ! " I said, as 
 they passed away into the shadows. "Why, 
 they could not even see us ! " 
 
 " No use at all," Lady Muriel echoed with a 
 sigh. " One would like to meet them again, in 
 living form ! But I feel, somehow, that can 
 never be. They have passed out of our lives ! " 
 She sighed again ; and no more was said, till 
 we came out into the main road, at a point 
 near my lodgings. 
 
 "Well, I will leave you here," she said. " I 
 want to get back before dark : and I have a 
 cottage-friend to visit, first. Good night, dear 
 
 friend ! Let us see you soon and often ! " 
 
 she added, with an affectionate warmth that 
 went to my very heart. "For those are few 
 we hold as dear ! " 
 
 " Good night ! " I answered. " Tennyson 
 said that of a worthier friend than me." 
 
 " Tennyson didn't know what he was talking 
 about ! " she saucily rejoined, with a touch of 
 her old childish gaiety ; and we parted.
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 GAMMON AND SPINACH. 
 
 MY landlady's welcome had an extra hearti- 
 ness about it : and though, with a rare delicacy 
 of feeling, she made no direct allusion to the 
 friend whose companionship had done so much 
 to brighten life for me, I felt sure that it was a 
 kindly sympathy with my solitary state that 
 made her so specially anxious to do all she 
 could think of to ensure my comfort, and make 
 me feel at home. 
 
 The lonely evening seemed long and tedious : 
 yet I lingered on, watching the dying fire, and 
 letting Fancy mould the red embers into the
 
 xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 311 
 
 forms and faces belonging to bygone scenes. 
 Now it seemed to be Bruno's roguish smile 
 that sparkled for a moment, and died away : 
 now it was Sylvie's rosy cheek : and now the 
 Professor's jolly round face, beaming with deT 
 light. " You're welcome, my little ones ! " he 
 seemed to say. And then the red coal, which 
 for the moment embodied the dear old Pro- 
 fessor, began to wax dim, and with its dying 
 lustre the words seemed to die away into si- 
 lence. I seized the poker, and with an artful 
 touch or two revived the waning glow, while 
 
 Fancy no coy minstrel she sang me once 
 
 again the magic strain I loved to hear. 
 
 " You're welcome, little ones ! " the cheery 
 voice repeated. " I told them you were 
 coming. Your rooms are all ready for you. 
 
 And the Emperor and the Empress well, 
 
 I think they're rather pleased than otherwise ! 
 In fact, Her Highness said ' I hope they'll be 
 in time for the Banquet ! ' . Those were her 
 very words, I assure you ! " 
 
 "Will Uggug be at the Banquet?" Bruno 
 asked. And both children looked uneasy at the 
 dismal suggestion.
 
 312 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Why, of course he will ! " chuckled the Pro- 
 fessor. " Why, it's his birthday, don't you 
 know ? And his health will be drunk, and all 
 that sort of thing. What would the Banquet be 
 without him ? " 
 
 " Ever so much nicer," said Bruno. But he 
 said it in a very low voice, and nobody but 
 Sylvie heard him. 
 
 The Professor chuckled again. " It'll be a 
 jolly Banquet, now you've come, my little man ! 
 I am so glad to see you again ! " 
 
 " I 'fraid we've been very long in coming," 
 Bruno politely remarked. 
 
 " Well, yes," the Professor assented. " How- 
 ever, you're very short now you're come : that's 
 some comfort." And he went on to enumerate 
 the plans for the day. " The Lecture comes 
 first," he said. " That the Empress insists on. 
 She says people will eat so much at the Ban- 
 quet, they'll be too sleepy to attend to the 
 
 Lecture afterwards and perhaps she's right. 
 
 There'll just be a little refreshment, when the 
 
 people first arrive as a kind of surprise 
 
 for the Empress, you know. Ever since 
 she's been well, not quite so clever as she
 
 xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 313 
 
 once was we've found it desirable to con- 
 coct little surprises for her. Then comes the 
 Lecture 
 
 " What ? The Lecture you were getting 
 ready ever so long ago ? " Sylvie enquired. 
 
 " Yes that's the one," the Professor rather 
 
 reluctantly admitted. " It has taken a goodish 
 time to prepare. I've got so many other 
 things to attend to. For instance, I'm Court- 
 Physician. I have to keep all the Royal 
 
 Servants in good health and that reminds 
 
 me ! " he cried, ringing the bell in a great 
 hurry. " This is Medicine-Day ! We only 
 give Medicine once a week. If we were to 
 begin giving it every day, the bottles would 
 soon be empty ! " 
 
 " But if they were ill on the other days ? " 
 Sylvie suggested. 
 
 " What, ill on the wrong day /" exclaimed 
 the Professor. " Oh, that would never do ! 
 A Servant would be dismissed at once, who 
 was ill on the wrong day ! This is the Medi- 
 cine for today," he went on, taking down a 
 large jug from a shelf. " I mixed it, myself, 
 first thing this morning. Taste it ! " he said,
 
 314 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 holding out the jug to Bruno. " Dip in your 
 finger, and taste it ! " 
 
 Bruno did so, and made such an excru- 
 ciatingly wry face that Sylvie exclaimed, in 
 alarm, " Oh, Bruno, you mustn't ! " 
 
 "It's welly extremely nasty!" Bruno said, 
 as his face resumed its natural shape. 
 
 "Nasty?" said the Professor. "Why, of 
 course it is ! What would Medicine be, if it 
 wasn't nasty ? " 
 
 " Nice," said Bruno. 
 
 " I was going to say the Professor 
 faltered, rather taken aback by the prompt- 
 ness of Bruno's reply, " that that would 
 
 never do ! Medicine has to be nasty, you 
 know. Be good enough to take this jug, 
 down into the Servants' Hall," he said to the 
 footman who answered the bell : " and tell 
 them it's their Medicine for today" 
 
 11 Which of them is to drink it ? " the foot- 
 man asked, as he carried off the jug. 
 
 "Oh, I've not settled that yet!" the Pro- 
 fessor briskly replied. " I'll come and settle 
 that, soon. Tell them not to begin, on any 
 account, till I come! It's really wonderful"
 
 XX] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 315 
 
 he said, turning to the children, "the suc- 
 cess I've had in curing Diseases! Here are 
 some of my memoranda." He took down 
 from the shelf a heap of little bits of paper, 
 pinned together in twos and threes. "Just 
 look at this set, now. ' Under-Cook Number 
 Thirteen recovered from Common Fever Fe- 
 bris Communist And now see what's pinned 
 to it. ' Gave Under-Cook Number Thirteen a 
 Double Dose of Medicine' That ' s something 
 to be proud of, isnt it ? " 
 
 "But which happened first ?" said Sylvie, 
 looking very much puzzled. 
 
 The Professor examined the papers care- 
 fully. "They are not dated, I find," he said 
 with a slightly dejected air : " so I fear I ca'n't 
 tell you. But they both happened : there's no 
 doubt of that. The Medicine s the great thing, 
 you know. The Diseases are much less im- 
 portant. You can keep a Medicine, for years 
 and years : but nobody ever wants to keep 
 a Disease ! By the way, come and look at 
 the platform. The Gardener asked me to 
 come and see if it would do. We may as 
 well go before it gets dark."
 
 316 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " We'd like to, very much ! " Sylvie replied. 
 " Come, Bruno, put on your hat. Don't keep 
 the dear Professor waiting!" 
 
 "Can't find my hat!" the little fellow sadly 
 replied. " I were rolling it about. And it's 
 rolled itself away ! " 
 
 " Maybe it's rolled in there" Sylvie sug- 
 gested, pointing to a dark recess, the door of 
 which stood half open : and Bruno ran in to 
 look. After a minute he came slowly out 
 again, looking very grave, and carefully shut 
 the cupboard-door after him. 
 
 " It aren't in there," he said, with such un- 
 usual solemnity, that Sylvie's curiosity was 
 roused. 
 
 " What is in there, Bruno ? " 
 
 " There's cobwebs and two spiders- 
 Bruno thoughtfully replied, checking off the 
 
 catalogue on his fingers, " and the cover 
 
 of a picture-book and a tortoise and a 
 
 dish of nuts and an old man." 
 
 "An old man!" cried the Professor, trotting 
 across the room in great excitement. " Why, 
 it must be the Other Professor, that's been lost 
 for ever so long ! "
 
 XX] 
 
 GAMMON AND SPINACH. 
 
 317 
 
 He opened the 
 door of the cup- 
 board wide : and 
 there he was, the 
 Other Professor, 
 sitting in a chair, 
 with a book on 
 his knee, and in 
 the act of help- 
 ing himself to a 
 nut from a dish, 
 which he had ta- 
 ken down off a 
 shelf just within 
 his reach. He 
 looked round at 
 us, but said nothing till he had cracked and 
 eaten the nut. Then he asked the old ques- 
 tion. " Is the Lecture all ready?" 
 
 " It'll begin in an hour," the Professor said, 
 evading the question. " First, we must have 
 something to surprise the Empress. And then 
 
 comes the Banquet 
 
 " The Banquet ! " cried the Other Professor, 
 springing up, and filling the room with a cloud
 
 318 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 of dust. Then I'd better go and and brush 
 
 myself a little. What a state I'm in ! " 
 
 " He does want brushing ! " the Professor 
 said, with a critical air, " Here's your hat, little 
 man! I had put it on by mistake. I'd quite 
 forgotten I had one on, already. Let's go 
 and look at the platform." 
 
 "And there's that nice old Gardener sing- 
 ing still!" Bruno exclaimed in delight, as we 
 went out into the garden. " I do believe he's 
 been singing that very song ever since we 
 went away ! " 
 
 " Why, of course he has ! " replied the Pro- 
 fessor. "It wouldn't be the thing to leave off, 
 you know." 
 
 " Wouldn't be what thing ? " said Bruno : 
 but the Professor thought it best not to hear 
 the question. " What are you doing with that 
 hedgehog ? " he shouted at the Gardener, whom 
 they found standing upon one foot, singing 
 softly to himself, and rolling a hedgehog up 
 and down with the other foot. 
 
 "Well, I wanted fur to know what hedge- 
 hogs lives on : so I be a-keeping this here 
 hedgehog fur to see if it eats potatoes
 
 xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 319 
 
 " Much better keep a potato," said the Pro- 
 fessor ; " and see if hedgehogs eat it ! " 
 
 "That be the roight way, sure-ly!" the de- 
 lighted Gardener exclaimed. " Be you come 
 to see the platform ? " 
 
 "Aye, aye!" the Professor cheerily replied 
 " And the children have come back, you see ! " 
 
 The Gardener looked round at them with a 
 grin. Then he led the way to the Pavilion ; 
 and as he went he sang : 
 
 "He looked again, and found it was 
 
 A Double Rule of Three : 
 ' And all its Mystery' he said, 
 Is clear as day to me ! ' ' 
 
 " You've been months over that song," said 
 the Professor. " Isn't it finished yet ?" 
 
 " There be only one verse more," the Gar- 
 dener sadly replied. And, with tears streaming 
 down his cheeks, he sang the last verse : 
 
 " He thought he saw an Argument 
 That proved he was tJie Pope : 
 He looked again, and found it was 
 
 A Bar of Mottled Soap. 
 ' A fact so dread,' he faintly said, 
 ' Extinguishes all hope ! ' '
 
 320 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Choking with sobs, the Gardener hastily 
 stepped on a few yards ahead of the party, 
 to conceal his emotion. 
 
 "Did he see the Bar of Mottled Soap?" 
 Sylvie enquired, as we followed. 
 
 " Oh, certainly ! " said the Professor. " That 
 song is his own history, you know." 
 
 Tears of an ever-ready sympathy glittered 
 in Bruno's eyes. " Ps welly sorry he isn't the 
 Pope ! " he said. " Aren't you sorry, Sylvie ? " 
 
 "Well 1 hardly know," Sylvie replied in 
 
 the vaguest manner. " Would it make him 
 any happier ? " she asked the Professor. 
 
 "It wouldn't make the Pope any happier," 
 said the Professor. " Isn't the platform lovely ?" 
 he asked, as we entered the Pavilion. 
 
 " I've put an extra beam under it!" said the 
 Gardener, paUing it affectionately as he spoke. 
 
 " And now it's that strong, as as a mad 
 
 elephant might dance upon it ! " 
 
 " Thank you very much ! " the Professor 
 heartily rejoined. " I don't know that we shall 
 
 exactly require but it's convenient to know." 
 
 And he led the children upon the platform, to 
 explain the arrangements to them. " Here are
 
 xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 321 
 
 three seats, you see, for the Emperor and the 
 Empress and Prince Uggug. But there must 
 be two more chairs here ! " he said, looking 
 down at the Gardener. " One for Lady Sylvie, 
 and one for the smaller animal ! " 
 
 " And may I help in the Lecture ? " said 
 Bruno. " I can do some conjuring-tricks." 
 
 " Well, it's not exactly a conjuring lecture," 
 the Professor said, as he arranged some curious- 
 looking machines on the table. " However, 
 what can you do ? Did you ever go through a 
 table, for instance ? " 
 
 " Often ! " said Bruno. " Haven t I, Sylvie ?" 
 
 The Professor was evidently surprised, though 
 he tried not to show it. " This must be looked 
 into," he muttered to himself, taking out a note- 
 book. " And first what kind of table ? " 
 
 " Tell him ! " Bruno whispered to Sylvie, 
 putting his arms round her neck. 
 
 " Tell him yourself," said Sylvie. 
 
 " Can't," said Bruno. " It's a bony word." 
 
 " Nonsense ! " laughed Sylvie. " You can 
 say it well enough, if you only try. Come ! " 
 
 "Muddle " said Bruno. "That's a bit 
 
 of it."
 
 322 SYLV1E AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " What does he say ? " cried the bewildered 
 Professor. 
 
 " He means the multiplication-table," Sylvie 
 explained. 
 
 The Professor looked annoyed, and shut up 
 his note-book again. " Oh, that's quite another 
 thing," he said. 
 
 " It are ever so many other things," said 
 Bruno. " Arerit it, Sylvie ? " 
 
 A loud blast of trumpets interrupted this 
 conversation. " Why, the entertainment has 
 begun / " the Professor exclaimed, as he hur- 
 ried the children into the Reception-Saloon. 
 " I had no idea it was so late ! " 
 
 A small table, containing cake and wine, 
 stood in a corner of the Saloon ; and here we 
 found the Emperor and Empress waiting for 
 us. The rest of the Saloon had been cleared 
 of furniture, to make room for the guests. 
 I was much struck by the great change a few 
 months had made in the faces of the Impe- 
 rial Pair. A vacant stare was now the Em- 
 peror s usual expression ; while over the face 
 of the Empress there flitted, ever and anon, 
 a meaningless smile.
 
 xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 323 
 
 " So you're come at last ! " the Emperor 
 sulkily remarked, as the Professor and the 
 children took their places. It was evident that 
 he was very much out of temper : and we were 
 not long in learning the cause of this. He did 
 not consider the preparations, made for the 
 Imperial party, to be such as suited their 
 rank. " A common mahogany table ! " he 
 growled, pointing to it contemptuously with 
 his thumb. " Why wasn't it made of gold, I 
 should like to know ? " 
 
 " It would have taken a very long " the 
 
 Professor began, but the Emperor cut the 
 sentence short. 
 
 " Then the cake 1 Ordinary plum ! Why 
 
 wasn't it made of of " He broke off 
 
 again. " Then the wine ! Merely old Madeira ! 
 
 Why wasn't it ? Then this chair ! That's 
 
 worst of all. Why wasn't it a throne ? One 
 might excuse the other omissions, but I cant 
 get over the chair ! " 
 
 " W'hat / ca'n't get over," said the Empress, 
 in eager sympathy with her angry husband, " is 
 the table ! " 
 
 " Pooh !" said the Emperor. 
 
 Y 2
 
 324 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "It is much to be regretted ! " the Professor 
 mildly replied, as soon as he had a chance 
 of speaking. After a moment's thought he 
 strengthened the remark. "Everything" he 
 said, addressing Society in general, " is very 
 much to be regretted ! " 
 
 A murmur of " Hear, hear ! " rose from the 
 crowded Saloon. 
 
 There was a rather awkward pause : ' the 
 Professor evidently didn't know how to begin. 
 The Empress leant forwards, and whispered to 
 him. "A few jokes, you know, Professor- 
 just to put people at their ease ! " 
 
 " True, true, Madam ! " the Professor meekly 
 replied. " This little boy 
 
 " Please don't make any jokes about me / " 
 Bruno exclaimed, his eyes filling with tears. 
 
 " I won't if you'd rather I didn't," said the 
 kind-hearted Professor. "It was only some- 
 thing about a Ship's Buoy : a harmless pun- 
 but it doesn't matter." Here he turned to the 
 crowd and addressed them in a loud voice. 
 "Learn your A's!" he shouted. "Your B's! 
 Your C's ! And your D's ! Then you'll be at 
 your ease ! "
 
 xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 325 
 
 There was a roar of laughter from all the 
 assembly, and then a great deal of confused 
 whispering. " What was it he said ? Some- 
 thing about bees, I fancy ." 
 
 The Empress smiled in her meaningless 
 way, and fanned herself. The poor Professor 
 looked at her timidly : he was clearly at his 
 wits' end again, and hoping for another hint. 
 The Empress whispered again. 
 
 " Some spinach, you know, Professor, as a 
 surprise." 
 
 The Professor beckoned to the Head-Cook, 
 and said something to him in a low voice. 
 Then the Head-Cook left the room, followed 
 by all the other cooks. 
 
 "It's difficult to get things started," the Pro- 
 fessor remarked to Bruno. " When once we 
 get started, it'll go on all right, you'll see." 
 
 " If oo want to startle people," said Bruno, 
 "oo should put live frogs on their backs." 
 
 Here the cooks all came in again, in a 
 procession, the Head-Cook coming last and 
 carrying something, which the others tried to 
 hide by waving flags all round it. " Nothing 
 but flags, Your Imperial Highness! Nothing
 
 326 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
 
 xx] GAMMON AND SPINACH. 327 
 
 but flags ! " he kept repeating, as he set it 
 before her. Then all the flags were dropped 
 in a moment, as the Head-Cook raised the 
 cover from an enormous dish. 
 
 " What is it ? " the Empress said faintly, as 
 she put her spy-glass to her eye. " Why, it's 
 Spinach, I declare ! " 
 
 " Her Imperial Highness is surprised," the 
 Professor explained to the attendants : and 
 some of them clapped their hands. The 
 Head-Cook made a low bow, and in doing 
 so dropped a spoon on the table, as if by 
 accident, just within reach of the Empress, 
 who looked the other way and pretended not 
 to see it. 
 
 " I am surprised ! " the Empress said to 
 Bruno. " Aren't you ? " 
 
 "Not a bit," said Bruno. "I heard " 
 
 but Sylvie put her hand over his mouth, and 
 spoke for him. " He's rather tired, I think. 
 He wants the Lecture to begin." 
 
 " I want the supper to begin," Bruno cor- 
 rected her. 
 
 The Empress took up the spoon in an 
 absent manner, and tried to balance it across
 
 328 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 the back of her hand, and in doing this she 
 dropped it into the dish : and, when she took 
 it out again, it was full of spinach. " How 
 curious ! " she said, and put it into her mouth. 
 " It tastes just like real spinach ! I thought it 
 
 was an imitation but I do believe it's real ! " 
 
 And she took another spoonful. 
 
 "It wo'n't be real much longer," said Bruno. 
 
 But the Empress had had enough spinach 
 
 by this time, and somehow 1 failed to notice 
 
 the exact process we all found ourselves in 
 
 the Pavilion, and the Professor in the act of 
 beginning the long-expected Lecture.
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 
 
 " IN Science in fact, in most things it is 
 
 usually best to begin at the beginning. In some 
 things, of course, it's better to begin at the 
 other end. For instance, if you wanted to 
 paint a dog green, it might be best to begin 
 with the tail, as it doesn't bite at that end. 
 And so " 
 
 " May / help oo ?" Bruno interrupted. 
 
 "Help me to do what?" said the puzzled 
 Professor, looking up for a moment, but keep- 
 ing his finger on the book he was reading from, 
 so as not to lose his place.
 
 330 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " To paint a dog green ! " cried Bruno. " Oo 
 can begin wiz its mouf, and I'll 
 
 " No, no ! " said the Professor. " We haven't 
 got to the Experiments yet. And so," return- 
 ing to his note-book, " I'll give you the Axioms 
 of Science. After that I shall exhibit some 
 Specimens. Then I shall explain a Process or 
 two. And I shall conclude with a few Ex- 
 periments. An Axiom, you know, is a thing 
 that you accept without contradiction. For 
 instance, if I were to say ' Here we are ! ', that 
 would be accepted without any contradiction, 
 and it's a nice sort of remark to begin a con- 
 versation with. So it would be an Axiom. Or 
 again, supposing I were to say ' Here we are 
 not ! '. that would be 
 
 " a fib ! " cried Bruno. 
 
 " Oh, Bruno ! " said Sylvie in a warning 
 whisper. " Of course it would be an Axiom, 
 if the Professor said it ! " 
 
 " that would be accepted, if people were 
 
 civil," continued the Professor ; " so it would 
 be another Axiom." 
 
 " It might be an Axledum," Bruno said : 
 " but it wouldn't be true f"
 
 Xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 331 
 
 " Ignorance of Axioms," the Lecturer con- 
 tinued, " is a great drawback in life. It wastes 
 so much time to have to say them over and 
 over again. For instance, take the Axiom 'No- 
 thing is greater than itself ; that is, ' Nothing 
 can contain itself' How often you hear people 
 say ' He was so excited, he was quite unable 
 to contain himself.' Why, of course he was 
 unable ! The excitement had nothing to do 
 with it ! " 
 
 " I say, look here, you know ! " said the 
 Emperor, who was getting a little restless. 
 " How many Axioms are you going to give 
 us ? At this rate, we sha'n't get to the Experi- 
 ments till to-morrow-week ! " 
 
 " Oh, sooner than that, I assure you ! " the 
 Professor replied, looking up in alarm. " There 
 are only," (he referred to his notes again) " only 
 two more, that are really necessary." 
 
 " Read 'em out, and get on to the Speci- 
 mens" grumbled the Emperor. 
 
 " The First Axiom," the Professor read out 
 in a great hurry, " consists of these words, 
 ' Whatever is, is.' And the Second consists of 
 these words, ' Whatever isrit, isrit? We will
 
 332 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 now go on to the Specimens. The first tray 
 contains Crystals and other Things." He 
 drew it towards him, and again referred to his 
 
 note-book. " Some of the labels owing to 
 
 insufficient adhesion Here he stopped 
 
 again, and carefully examined the page with 
 his eyeglass. " I ca'n't quite read the rest of 
 the sentence," he said at last, " but it means 
 that the labels have come loose, and the Things 
 have got mixed 
 
 " Let me stick 'em on again ! " cried Bruno 
 eagerly, and began licking them, like postage- 
 stamps, and dabbing them down upon the Crys- 
 tals and the other Things. But the Professor 
 hastily moved the tray out of his reach. " They 
 might get fixed to the wrong Specimens, you 
 know ! " he said. 
 
 " Oo shouldn't have any wrong peppermints 
 in the tray ! " Bruno boldly replied. " Should 
 he, Sylvie ? " 
 
 But Sylvie only shook her head. 
 
 The Professor heard him not. He had taken 
 up one of the bottles, and was carefully reading 
 the label through his eye-glass. " Our first 
 Specimen " he announced, as he placed the
 
 xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 333 
 
 bottle in front of the other Things, " is that 
 
 is, it is called " here he took it up, and 
 
 examined the label again, as if he thought 
 it might have changed since he last saw it, 
 
 " is called Aqua Pura common water the 
 
 fluid that cheers " 
 
 "Hip! Hip! Hip!" the Head-Cook began 
 enthusiastically. 
 
 " but not inebriates ! " the Professor went 
 
 on quickly, but only just in time to check 
 the " Hooroar ! " which was beginning. 
 
 " Our second Specimen," he went on, care- 
 fully opening a small jar, " is " here he 
 
 removed the lid, and a large beetle instantly 
 darted out, and with an angry buzz went 
 
 straight out of the Pavilion, " is -or rather, 
 
 I should say," looking sadly into the empty 
 
 jar, "it was a curious kind of Blue Beetle. 
 
 Did any one happen to remark as it went 
 
 past three blue spots under each wing?" 
 
 Nobody had remarked them. 
 
 " Ah, well ! " the Professor said with a sigh. 
 "It's a pity. Unless you remark that kind of 
 thing at the moment, it's very apt to get over- 
 looked ! The next Specimen, at any rate, will
 
 334 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 not fly away! It is in short, or perhaps, 
 
 more correctly, at length an Elephant. You 
 
 will observe ." Here he beckoned to the 
 
 Gardener to come up on the platform, and with 
 his help began putting together what looked 
 like an enormous dog-kennel, with short tubes 
 projecting out of it on both sides. 
 
 " But we've seen Elephants before," the 
 Emperor grumbled. 
 
 " Yes, but not through a Megaloscope ! " the 
 Professor eagerly replied. " You know you 
 can't see a Flea, properly, without a magnify- 
 
 z/^-glass what we call a Microscope. Well, 
 
 just in the same way, you ca'n't see an Ele- 
 phant, properly, without a mimmi/yzng--g\ass. 
 There's one in each of these little tubes. And 
 this is a Megaloscope ! The Gardener will 
 now bring in the next Specimen. Please open 
 both curtains, down at the end there, and make 
 way for the Elephant ! " 
 
 There was a general rush to the sides of the 
 Pavilion, and all eyes were turned to the open 
 end, watching for the return of the Gardener, 
 who had gone away singing " He thought he 
 saw an Elephant That practised on a Fife ! "
 
 xxi] 
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 
 
 335 
 
 There was silence for a minute : and then his 
 harsh voice was heard again in the distance. 
 
 " He looked again come up, then ! He looked 
 
 again, and found it was woa back ! and 
 
 found it was A letter from his make way 
 
 there ! He's a-coming ! " 
 
 And in marched, or waddled it is hard to 
 
 say which is the right word an Elephant, on 
 
 its hind-legs, and playing on an enormous fife 
 which it held with its fore-feet
 
 336 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 The Professor hastily threw open a large 
 door at the end of the Megaloscope, and the 
 huge animal, at a signal from the Gardener, 
 dropped the fife, and obediently trotted into 
 the machine, the door of which was at once 
 shut by the Professor. " The Specimen is 
 now ready for observation ! " he proclaimed. 
 "It is exactly the size of the Common Mouse 
 
 Mus Communis ! " 
 
 There was a general rush to the tubes, 
 and the spectators watched with delight the 
 minikin creature, as it playfully coiled its trunk 
 round the Professor's extended finger, finally 
 taking its stand upon the palm of his hand, 
 while he carefully lifted it out, and carried it off 
 to exhibit to the Imperial party. 
 
 " Isn't it a darling ? " cried Bruno. " May I 
 stroke it, please ? I'll touch it welly gently ! " 
 
 The Empress inspected it solemnly with her 
 eye-glass. " It is very small," she said in a 
 deep voice. " Smaller than elephants usually 
 are, I believe ? " 
 
 The Professor gave a start of delighted 
 surprise. " Why, that's true / " he murmured to 
 himself. Then louder, turning to the audience,
 
 xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 337 
 
 " Her Imperial Highness has made a remark 
 which is perfectly sensible ! " And a wild cheer 
 arose from that vast multitude. 
 
 " The next Specimen," the Professor pro- 
 claimed, after carefully placing the little Ele- 
 phant in the tray, among the Crystals and 
 other Things, " is a Flea, which we will enlarge 
 for the purposes of observation." Taking a 
 small pill-box from the tray, he advanced to 
 the Megaloscope, and reversed all the tubes. 
 " The Specimen is ready ! " he cried, with his 
 eye at one of the tubes, while he carefully 
 emptied the pill-box through a little hole at the 
 side. " It is now the size of the Common 
 Horse Equus Communis ! " 
 
 There was another general rush, to look 
 through the tubes, and the Pavilion rang with 
 shouts of delight, through which the Professor's 
 anxious tones could scarcely be heard. " Keep 
 the door of the Microscope shut /" he cried. 
 "If the creature were to escape, this size, it 
 
 would " But the mischief was done. The 
 
 door had swung open, and in another moment 
 the Monster had got out, and was trampling 
 down the terrified, shrieking spectators. 
 
 z
 
 338 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 But the Professor's presence of mind did not 
 desert him. " Undraw those curtains ! " he 
 shouted. It was done. The Monster gathered 
 its legs together, and in one tremendous bound 
 vanished into the sky. 
 
 " Where is it ? " said the Emperor, rubbing 
 his eyes. 
 
 "In the next Province, I fancy," the Pro- 
 fessor replied. " That jump would take it at 
 least five miles ! The next thing is to ex- 
 plain a Process or two. But I find there is 
 
 hardly room enough to operate the smaller 
 
 animal is rather in my way " 
 
 <( Who does he mean ? " Bruno whispered 
 to Sylvie. 
 
 "He means you ! " Sylvie whispered back. 
 "Hush!" 
 
 " Be kind enough to move angularly 
 
 to this corner," the Professor said, addressing 
 himself to Bruno. 
 
 Bruno hastily moved his chair in the direc- 
 tion indicated. " Did I move angrily enough ? " 
 he inquired. But the Professor was once more 
 absorbed in his Lecture, which he was reading 
 from his note-book.
 
 XXI] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 339 
 
 " I will now explain the Process of the 
 
 name is blotted, I'm sorry to say. It will 
 
 be illustrated by a number of of " here 
 
 he examined the page for some time, and 
 at last said " It seems to be either ' Ex- 
 periments ' or ' Specimens ' " 
 
 " Let it be Experiments" said the Emperor. 
 " We've seen plenty of Specimens!' 
 
 " Certainly, certainly ! " the Professor as- 
 sented. " We will have some Experiments." 
 
 " May / do them ? " Bruno eagerly asked. 
 
 " Oh dear no ! " The Professor looked dis- 
 mayed. " I really don't know what would 
 happen if you did them ! " 
 
 " Nor nobody doosn't know what'll happen 
 if oo doos them ! " Bruno retorted. 
 
 " Our First Experiment requires a Machine. 
 
 It has two knobs only two you can count 
 
 thern, if you like." 
 
 The Head-Cook stepped forwards, counted 
 them, and retired satisfied. 
 
 " Now you might press those two knobs to- 
 gether but that's not the way to do it. Or 
 
 you might turn the Machine upside-down 
 
 but that's not the way to do it ! " 
 
 z 2
 
 340 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " What are the way to do it ? " said Bruno, 
 who was listening very attentively. 
 
 The Professor smiled benignantly. " Ah, 
 yes ! " he said, in a voice like the heading of a 
 chapter. " The Way To Do It ! Permit me ! " 
 and in a moment he had whisked Bruno upon 
 the table. " I divide my subject," he began, 
 " into three parts " 
 
 " I think I'll get down !" Bruno whispered to 
 Sylvie. " It aren't nice to be divided ! " 
 
 " He hasn't got a knife, silly boy ! " Sylvie 
 whispered in reply. " Stand still ! You'll break 
 all the bottles ! " 
 
 " The first part is to take hold of the knobs," 
 putting them into Bruno's hands. " The second 
 part is Here he turned the handle, and, 
 
 with a loud " Oh ! ", Bruno dropped both the 
 knobs, and began rubbing his elbows. 
 
 The Professor chuckled in delight. "It had 
 a sensible effect Hadrit it ? " he enquired. 
 
 " No, it hadn't a sensible effect ! " Bruno said 
 indignantly. " It were very silly indeed. It 
 jingled my elbows, and it banged my back, 
 and it crinkled my hair, and it buzzed among 
 my bones!"
 
 xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 341 
 
 "I'm sure it didrit!" said Sylvie. "You're 
 only inventing ! " 
 
 " Oo doosn't know nuffin about it ! " Bruno 
 replied. " Oo wasn't there to see. Nobody 
 ca'n't go among my bones. There isn't room ! " 
 
 " Our Second Experiment," the Professor 
 announced, as Bruno returned to his place, still 
 thoughtfully rubbing his elbows, " is the pro- 
 duction of that seldom-seen-but-greatly-to-be- 
 admired phenomenon, Black Light ! You have 
 seen White Light, Red Light, Green Light, and 
 so on : but never, till this wonderful day, have 
 any eyes but mine seen Black Light ! This 
 box," carefully lifting it upon the table, and 
 covering it with a heap of blankets, " is quite 
 
 full of it. The way I made it was this 1 
 
 took a lighted candle into a dark cupboard and 
 shut the door. Of course the cupboard was 
 then full of Yellow Light. Then I took a bottle 
 of Black ink, and poured it over the candle : 
 and, to my delight, every atom of the Yellow 
 Light turned Black ! That was indeed the 
 proudest moment of my life ! Then I filled a 
 
 box with it. And now would any one like 
 
 to get under the blankets and see it ? "
 
 342 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 Dead silence followed this appeal : but at last 
 Bruno said " /'// get under, if it won't jingle 
 my elbows." 
 
 Satisfied on this point, Bruno crawled .under 
 the blankets, and, after a minute or two, crawled 
 out again, very hot and dusty, and with his hair 
 in the wildest confusion. 
 
 " What did you see in the box ? " Sylvie 
 eagerly enquired. 
 
 "I saw nuffinf" Bruno sadly replied. "It 
 were too dark ! " 
 
 " He has described the appearance of the 
 thing exactly ! " the Professor exclaimed with 
 enthusiasm. " Black Light, and Nothing, look 
 so extremely alike, at first sight, that I don't 
 wonder he failed to distinguish them ! We will 
 now proceed to the Third Experiment." 
 
 The Professor came down, and led the way 
 to where a post had been driven firmly into 
 the ground. To one side of the post was 
 fastened a chain, with an iron weight hooked 
 on to the end of it, and from the other side 
 projected a piece of whalebone, with a ring 
 at the end of it. " This is a most interesting 
 Experiment!" the Professor announced. "It
 
 xxi] THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 343 
 
 will need time, I'm afraid : but that is a trifling 
 disadvantage. Now observe. If I were to un- 
 hook this weight, and let go, it would fall to the 
 ground. You do not deny that ? " 
 
 Nobody denied it. 
 
 "And in the same way, if I were to bend 
 
 this piece of whalebone round the post thus 
 
 and put the ring over this hook thus it 
 
 stays bent : but, if I unhook it, it straightens 
 itself again. You do not deny that?" 
 
 Again, nobody denied it. 
 
 " Well, now, suppose we left things just as 
 they are, for a long time. The force of the 
 whalebone would get exhausted, you know, and 
 it would stay bent, even when you unhooked it. 
 Now, why shouldn't the same thing happen 
 with the weight ? The whalebone gets so 
 used to being bent, that it ca'n't straighten 
 itself any more. Why shouldn't the weight 
 get so used to being held up, that it ca'n't fall 
 any more ? That's what / want to know ! " 
 
 " That's what we want to know ! " echoed 
 the crowd. 
 
 " How long must we wait ? " grumbled the 
 Emperor.
 
 344 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 The Professor looked at his watch. "Well, 
 I think a thousand years will do to begin with," 
 he said. " Then we will cautiously unhook 
 the weight : and, if it still shows (as perhaps 
 it will) a slight tendency to fall, we will hook 
 it on to the chain again, and leave it for 
 another thousand years." 
 
 Here the Empress experienced one of those 
 flashes of Common Sense which were the sur- 
 prise of all around her. " Meanwhile there'll 
 be time for another Experiment," she said. 
 
 "There will indeed/" cried the delighted 
 Professor. " Let us return to the platform, and 
 proceed to the Fourth Experiment ! " 
 
 " For this concluding Experiment, I will take 
 
 a certain Alkali, or Acid 1 forget which. 
 
 Now you'll see what will happen when I mix 
 it with Some ' here he took up a bottle, 
 
 and looked at it doubtfully, " when I mix 
 
 it with with Something 
 
 Here the Emperor interrupted. " What's the 
 name of the stuff?" he asked. 
 
 " I don't remember the name" said the Pro- 
 fessor : "and the label has come off/' He 
 emptied it quickly into the other bottle, and,
 
 xxi] 
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S LECTURE. 
 
 345 
 
 with a tremendous bang, both bottles flew to 
 pieces, upsetting all the machines, and filling 
 the Pavilion with thick black smoke. I sprang 
 
 to my feet in terror, and and found myself 
 
 standing before my solitary hearth, where the 
 poker, dropping at last from the hand of the 
 sleeper, had knocked over the tcngs and the 
 shovel, and had upset the kettle, filling the air 
 with clouds of steam. With a weary sigh, I 
 betook myself to bed.
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 THE BANQUET. 
 
 " Heaviness may endure for a night : but joy 
 comet h in the morning." The next day found 
 me quite another being. Even the memories of 
 my lost friend and companion were sunny as 
 the genial weather that smiled around me. I 
 did not venture to trouble Lady Muriel, or her 
 father, with another call so soon : but took a 
 walk into the country, and only turned home- 
 wards when the low sunbeams warned me that 
 day would soon be over. 
 
 On my way home, I passed the cottage where 
 the old man lived, whose face always recalled
 
 XXII] THE BANQUET. 347 
 
 to me the day when I first met Lady Muriel ; 
 and I glanced in as I passed, half-curious to see 
 if he were still living there. 
 
 Yes : the old man was still alive. He was 
 sitting out in the porch, looking just as he did 
 
 when I first saw him at Fay field Junction 
 
 it seemed only a few days ago ! 
 
 " Good evening ! " I said, pausing. 
 
 " Good evening, Maister ! " he cheerfully 
 responded. " Won't ee step in ? " 
 
 I stepped in, and took a seat on the bench 
 in the porch. " I'm glad to see you looking 
 so hearty," I began. " Last time, I remember, 
 I chanced to pass just as Lady Muriel was 
 coming away from the house. Does she still 
 come to see you ? " 
 
 " Ees," he answered slowly. " She has na 
 forgotten me. I don't lose her bonny face for 
 many days together. Well I mind the very 
 first time she come, after we'd met at Railway 
 Station. She told me as she come to mak' 
 amends. Dear child! Only think o' that! 
 To mak' amends ! " 
 
 " To make amends for what ? " I enquired. 
 " What could she have done to need it ? "
 
 348 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Well, it were loike this, you see ? We were 
 both on us a- waiting fur t' train at t' Junction. 
 And I had setten mysen down upat t' bench. 
 And Station-Maister, he comes and he orders 
 
 me off fur t' mak' room for her Ladyship, 
 
 you understand ? " 
 
 " I remember it all," I said. " I was there 
 myself, that day." 
 
 " Was you, now ? Well, an' she axes my 
 pardon fur 't. Think o' that, now ! My pardon ! 
 An owd ne'er-do-weel like me ! Ah ! She's 
 been here many a time, sin' then. Why, she 
 were in here only yestere'en, as it were, a- 
 sittin', as it might be, where you're a-sitting 
 now, an' lookin' sweeter and kinder nor an 
 angel ! An' she says ' You've not got your 
 Minnie, now, ' she says, ' to fettle for ye.' 
 Minnie was my grand-daughter, Sir, as lived 
 wi' me. She died, a matter of two months 
 
 ago or it may be three. She was a bonny 
 
 lass and a good lass, too. Eh, but life has 
 
 been rare an' lonely without her ! " 
 
 He covered his face in his hands : and I 
 waited a minute or two, in silence, for him to 
 recover himself.
 
 XXII] THE BANQUET. 349 
 
 " So she says ' Just tak' me fur your Minnie ! ' 
 she says. ' Didna Minnie mak' your tea fur 
 you?' says she. 'Ay,' says I. An' she mak's 
 the tea. * An' didna Minnie light your pipe ? ' 
 says she. 'Ay,' says I. An' she lights the 
 pipe for me. ' An' didna Minnie set out your 
 tea in t' porch ? ' An' I says ' My dear,' I 
 says, 'I'm thinking you're Minnie hersen!' 
 An' she cries a bit. We both on us cries a 
 bit ." 
 
 Again I kept silence for a while. 
 
 " An' while I smokes my pipe, she sits an' 
 
 talks to me as loving an' as pleasant ! I'll 
 
 be bound I thowt it were Minnie come again ! 
 An' when she gets up to go, I says ' Winnot ye 
 shak' hands wi' me ? ' says I. An' she says 
 ' Na,' she says: 'a cannot shaft hands wi' 
 thee ! ' she says." 
 
 " I'm sorry she said that" I put in, thinking 
 it was the only instance I had ever known of 
 pride of rank showing itself in Lady Muriel. 
 
 " Bless you, it werena pride ! " said the 
 old man, reading my thoughts. " She says 
 ' Your Minnie never shook hands wi' you ! ' she 
 says. 'An' I'm your Minnie now,' she says.
 
 350 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 <r 
 
 An' she just puts her dear arms about my 
 
 neck and she kisses me on t' cheek an' 
 
 may God in Heaven bless her ! " And here 
 the poor old man broke down entirely, and 
 could say no more. 
 
 " God bless her ! " I echoed. " And good 
 night to you ! " I pressed his hand, and left
 
 XXII] THE BANQUET. 351 
 
 him. " Lady Muriel," I said softly to myself 
 as I went homewards, " truly you know how 
 to ' mak' amends ' ! " 
 
 Seated once more by my lonely fireside, I 
 tried to recall the strange vision of the night 
 before, and to conjure up the face of the dear 
 old Professor among the blazing coals. " That 
 
 black one with just a touch of red would 
 
 suit him well," I thought. " After such a catas- 
 trophe, it would be sure to be covered with 
 black stains and he would say : 
 
 " The result of that combination you may 
 
 have noticed ? was an Explosion ! Shall I 
 
 repeat the Experiment ? " 
 
 " No, no ! Don't trouble yourself ! " was the 
 general cry. And we all trooped off, in hot 
 haste, to the Banqueting- Hall, where the feast 
 had already begun. 
 
 No time was lost in helping the dishes, and 
 very speedily every guest found his plate filled 
 with good things. 
 
 " I have always maintained the principle," 
 the Professor began, " that it is a good rule 
 
 to take some food occasionally. The great 
 
 advantage of dinner-parties " he broke off
 
 352 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
 
 Xxn] THE BANQUET. 353 
 
 suddenly. " Why, actually here's the Other 
 Professor ! " he cried. " And there's no place 
 left for him ! " 
 
 The Other Professor came in reading a large 
 book, which he held close to his eyes. One 
 result of his not looking where he was going 
 was that he tripped up, as he crossed the 
 Saloon, flew up into the air, and fell heavily 
 on his face in the middle of the table. 
 
 " What a pity ! " cried the kind-hearted Pro- 
 fessor, as he helped him up. 
 
 " It wouldn't be me, if I didn't trip," said the 
 Other Professor. 
 
 The Professor looked much shocked. " Al- 
 most anything would be better than that ! " he 
 exclaimed. " It never does," he added, aside 
 to Bruno, " to be anybody else, does it ?" 
 
 To which Bruno gravely replied " I's got 
 nuffin on my plate." 
 
 The Professor hastily put on his spectacles, 
 to make sure that the facts were all right, to 
 begin with : then he turned his jolly round 
 face upon the unfortunate owner of the empty 
 plate. " And what would you like next, 
 my little man ? " 
 
 A A
 
 354 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "Well," Bruno said, a little doubtfully, "I 
 think I'll take some plum-pudding, please 
 while I think of it." 
 
 "Oh, Bruno!" (This was a whisper from 
 Sylvie.) "It isn't good manners to ask for a 
 dish before it comes ! " 
 
 And Bruno whispered back " But I might for- 
 get to ask for some, when it comes, oo know 
 
 I do forget things, sometimes," he added, 
 seeing Sylvie about to whisper more. 
 
 And this assertion Sylvie did not venture to 
 contradict. 
 
 Meanwhile a chair had been placed for the 
 Other Professor, between the Empress and 
 Sylvie. Sylvie found him a rather uninterest- 
 ing neighbour : in fact, she couldn't afterwards 
 remember that he had made more than one 
 remark to her during the whole banquet, and 
 that was "What a comfort a Dictionary is!" 
 (She told Bruno, afterwards, that she had been 
 too much afraid of him to say more than " Yes, 
 Sir," in reply ; and that had been the end of 
 their conversation. On which Bruno expressed 
 a very decided opinion that that wasn't worth 
 calling a ' conversation ' at all. " Oo should
 
 xxn] THE BANQUET. 355 
 
 have asked him a riddle ! " he added trium- 
 phantly. " Why, / asked the Professor three 
 riddles ! One was that one you asked me in 
 the morning, ' How many pennies is there in 
 two shillings ? ' And another was '' Oh, 
 
 Bruno ! " Sylvie interrupted. " That wasn't a 
 riddle!" " It were!'" Bruno fiercely replied.) 
 
 By this time a waiter had supplied Bruno 
 with a plateful of something, which drove the 
 plum-pudding out of his head. 
 
 "Another advantage of dinner-parties," the 
 Professor cheerfully explained, for the benefit 
 of any one that would listen, " is that it helps 
 you to see your friends. If you want to see a 
 man, offer him something to eat. It's the same 
 rule with a mouse." 
 
 " This Cat's very kind to the Mouses," Bruno 
 said, stooping to stroke a remarkably fat speci- 
 men of the race, that had just waddled into the 
 room, and was rubbing itself affectionately 
 against the leg of his chair. " Please, Sylvie, 
 pour some milk in your saucer. Pussie's ever 
 so thirsty ! " 
 
 " Why do you want my saucer ? " said Sylvie 
 " You've got one yourself! " 
 
 A A 2
 
 356 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "Yes, I know," said Bruno: "but I wanted 
 mine for to give it some more milk in." 
 
 Sylvie looked unconvinced : however it 
 seemed quite impossible for her ever to refuse 
 what her brother asked : so she quietly filled 
 her saucer with milk, and handed it to Bruno, 
 who got down off his chair to administer it to 
 the cat. 
 
 " The room's very hot, with all this crowd," 
 the Professor said to Sylvie. " I wonder why 
 they don't put some lumps of ice in the grate ? 
 You fill it with lumps of coal in the winter, you 
 know, and you sit round it and enjoy the 
 warmth. How jolly it would be to fill it now 
 with lumps of ice, and sit round it and enjoy 
 the coolth ! " 
 
 Hot as it was, Sylvie shivered a little at the 
 idea. " It's very cold oiitside" she said. " My 
 feet got almost frozen to-day." 
 
 " That's the shoemaker s fault ! " the Pro- 
 fessor cheerfully replied. " How often I've 
 explained to him that he ought to make boots 
 with little iron frames under the soles, to hold 
 lamps ! But he never thinks. No one would 
 suffer from cold, if only they would think of
 
 XXH] THE BANQUET. 357 
 
 those little things. I always use hot ink, my- 
 self, in the winter. Very few people ever think 
 of that I Yet how simple it is ! " 
 
 "Yes, it's very simple," Sylvie said politely. 
 "Has the cat had enough?" This was to 
 Bruno, who had brought back the saucer only 
 half-emptied. 
 
 But Bruno did not hear the question. 
 " There's somebody scratching at the door 
 and wanting to come in," he said. And he 
 scrambled down off his chair, and went and 
 cautiously peeped out through the door-way. 
 
 " Who was it wanted to come in ? " Sylvie 
 asked, as he returned to his place. 
 
 "It were a Mouse," said Bruno. "And it 
 peepted in. And it saw the Cat. And it said 
 ' I'll come in another day.' And I said ' Oo 
 needn't be flightened. The Cat's welly kind 
 to Mouses.' And it said ' But I's got some 
 imporkant business, what I must attend to. 1 
 And it said ' I'll call again to-morrow.' And it 
 said ' Give my love to the Cat.' " 
 
 " What a fat cat it is ! " said the Lord Chan- 
 cellor, leaning across the Professor to address 
 his small neighbour. " It's quite a wonder ! "
 
 358 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " It was awfully fat when it earned in," said 
 Bruno: "so it would be more wonderfuller if 
 it got thin all in a minute." 
 
 "And that was the reason, I suppose," the 
 Lord Chancellor suggested, "why you didn't 
 give it the rest of the milk ? " 
 
 " No," said Bruno. " It were a betterer 
 reason. I tooked the saucer up 'cause it were 
 so discontented ! " 
 
 "It doesn't look so to me" said the Lord 
 Chancellor. "What made you think it was 
 discontented ? " 
 
 "'cause it grumbled in its throat." 
 
 "Oh, Bruno!" cried Sylvie. "Why, that's 
 the way cats show they ' re pleased!" 
 
 Bruno looked doubtful. " It's not a good 
 way," he objected. " Oo wouldn't say / were 
 pleased, if I made that noise in my throat ! " 
 
 " What a singular boy ! " the Lord Chan- 
 cellor whispered to himself: but Bruno had 
 caught the words. 
 
 " What do it mean to say ' a singular boy ' ? " 
 he whispered to Sylvie. 
 
 " It means one boy," Sylvie whispered in 
 return. " And /;-#/ means two or three."
 
 xxn] THE BANQUET. 359 
 
 "Then I's welly glad I is a singular boy ! '' 
 Bruno said with great emphasis. "It would be 
 horrid to be two or three boys ! P'raps they 
 wouldn't play with me ! " 
 
 "Why should they?" said the Other Pro- 
 fessor, suddenly waking up out of a deep 
 reverie. "They might be asleep, you know." 
 
 "Couldn't, if / was awake," Bruno said 
 cunningly. 
 
 "Oh, but they might indeed!" the Other 
 Professor protested. " Boys don't all go to 
 sleep at once, you know. So these boys 
 but who are you talking about ? " 
 
 "He never remembers to ask that first ! " the 
 Professor whispered to the children. 
 
 "Why, the rest of me, a-course!" Bruno 
 exclaimed triumphantly. " Supposing I was 
 two or three boys ! " 
 
 The Other Professor sighed, and seemed to 
 be sinking back into his reverie ; but suddenly 
 brightened up again, and addressed the Pro- 
 fessor. " There's nothing more to be done 
 now, is there ? " 
 
 "Well, there's the dinner to finish," the Pro- 
 fessor said with a bewildered smile : " and the
 
 360 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 heat to bear. I hope you'll enjoy the dinner 
 
 such as it is ; and that you won't mind the 
 heat such as it isn't." 
 
 The sentence sounded well, but somehow I 
 couldn't quite understand it ; and the Other 
 Professor seemed to be no better off. " Such 
 as it isn't what?" he peevishly enquired. 
 
 " It isn't as hot as it might be," the Pro- 
 fessor replied, catching at the first idea that 
 came to hand. 
 
 "Ah, I see what you mean now I' 1 ' the Other 
 Professor graciously remarked. " It's very 
 badly expressed, but I quite see it now ! Thir- 
 teen minutes and a half ago," he went on, 
 looking first at Bruno and then at his watch 
 as he spoke, "you said 'this Cat's very kind to 
 the Mouses.' It must be a singular animal !" 
 
 " So it are," said Bruno, after carefully ex- 
 amining the Cat, to make sure how many there 
 were of it. 
 
 " But how do you know it's kind to the 
 
 Mouses or, more correctly speaking, the 
 
 Mice ?" 
 
 " 'cause it plays with the Mouses," said Bruno ; 
 " for to amuse them, oo know."
 
 xxii] THE BANQUET. 361 
 
 " But that is just what I dorit know," the 
 Other Professor rejoined. " My belief is, it 
 plays with them to kill them ! " 
 
 " Oh, that's quite a accident I " Bruno began, 
 so eagerly, that it was evident he had already 
 propounded this very difficulty to the Cat. 
 "It 'splained all that to me, while it were 
 drinking the milk. It said ' I teaches the 
 Mouses new games : the Mouses likes it ever 
 so much.' It said 'Sometimes little accidents 
 happens : sometimes the Mouses kills their- 
 selves.' It said ' I's always welly sorry, when 
 the Mouses kills theirselves.' It said 
 
 " If it was so very sorry," Sylvie said, rather 
 disdainfully, "it wouldn't eat the Mouses after 
 they'd killed themselves ! " 
 
 But this difficulty, also, had evidently not 
 been lost sight of in the exhaustive ethical dis- 
 cussion just concluded. " It said (the 
 orator constantly omitted, as superfluous, his 
 own share in the dialogue, and merely gave us 
 the replies of the Cat) " It said ' Dead Mouses 
 never objecks to be eaten.' It said 'There's no 
 use wasting good Mouses.' It said ' Wifful 
 sumfinoruvver. It said 'And oo may live to
 
 362 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 say ' How much I wiss I had the Mouse that 
 then I frew away !' It said ." 
 
 "It hadn't time to say such a lot of things ! " 
 Sylvie interrupted indignantly. 
 
 " Oo doosn't know how Cats speaks ! " Bruno 
 rejoined contemptuously. " Cats speaks welly 
 quick ! "
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 THE PIG-TALE. 
 
 BY this time the appetites of the guests 
 seemed to be nearly satisfied, and even Bruno 
 had the resolution to say, when the Professor 
 offered him a fourth slice of plum- pudding, 
 " I thinks three helpings is enough ! " 
 
 Suddenly the Professor started as if he had 
 been electrified. " Why, I had nearly for- 
 gotten the most important part of the enter- 
 tainment ! The Other Professor is to recite a 
 Tale of a Pig 1 mean a Pig-Tale," he cor- 
 rected himself. "It has Introductory Verses 
 at the beginning, and at the end."
 
 364 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 "It ca'n't have Introductory Verses at the 
 end, can it ? " said Sylvie. 
 
 " Wait till you hear it," said the Professor : 
 " then you'll see. I'm not sure it hasn't some 
 in the middle, as well." Here he rose to his 
 feet, and there was an instant silence through 
 the Banqueting-Hall: they evidently expected 
 a speech. 
 
 " Ladies, and gentlemen," the Professor 
 began, " the Other Professor is so kind as to 
 recite a Poem. The title of it is ' The Pig- 
 Tale.' He never recited it before ! " (General 
 cheering among the guests.) " He will never 
 recite it again ! " (Frantic excitement, and wild 
 cheering all down the hall, the Professor himself 
 mounting the table in hot haste, to lead the 
 cheering, and waving his spectacles in one hand 
 and a spoon in the other.) 
 
 Then the Other Professor got up, and 
 began : 
 
 Little Birds are dining 
 
 Warily and well, 
 
 Hid in mossy cell: 
 Hid, 1 say, by waiters 
 Gorgeous in their gaiters 
 
 I've a Tale to tell.
 
 XXIll] 
 
 THE PIG-TALE 
 
 365 
 
 Little Birds are feeding 
 Justices with jam, 
 Rich in frizzled ham : 
 Rich, I say, in oysters 
 Haunting shady cloisters 
 That is what I am. 
 
 Little Birds are teaching 
 Tigresses to smile, 
 Innocent of guile : 
 
 Smile, I say, not smirkle 
 
 Month a semicircle, 
 
 That's the proper style ! 
 
 Little Birds are sleeping 
 All among the pins, 
 Where the loser wins: 
 Where, I say, he sneezes 
 When and how he pleases 
 So the Tale begins. 
 
 jT-~lH_> ^^ 
 
 fflk 
 gMpfrt
 
 366 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 There was a Pig that sat alone 
 
 Beside a ruined Pump : 
 By day and night he made his moan 
 It would have stirred a heart of stone 
 To see him wring his hoofs and groan, 
 
 Because he could not jump. 
 
 A certain Camel heard him shout 
 
 A Camel with a hump. 
 " Oh, is it Grief, or is it Gout ? 
 What is this bellowing about ? " 
 That Pig replied, with quivering snout, 
 
 "Because I cannot jump f" 
 
 That Camel scanned Jiirn, dreamy-eyed. 
 
 " Met/links you are too plump. 
 I never knew a Pig so wide 
 That wobbled so from side to side 
 Who could, however much he tried, 
 
 Do such a thing as jump ! 
 
 " Yet mark those trees, two miles away, 
 
 All clustered in a clump: 
 If you could trot there twice a day, 
 Nor ever pause for rest or play, 
 In the far future Who can say ?- 
 
 You may be fit to jump!'
 
 xxin] 
 
 THE PIG-TALE. 
 
 367 
 
 That Camel passed, and left him there 
 
 Beside the ruined Pump. 
 Oh, horrid was that Pig's despair ! 
 His shrieks of anguish filled the air. 
 He wrung his hoofs, he rent his hair, 
 
 Because he could not jump. 
 
 There was a Frog that wandered by 
 
 A sleek and shining lump: 
 Inspected him with fishy eye,
 
 368 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 And said " O Pig, what makes you cry ?" 
 And bitter was that Pig's reply, 
 " Because I cannot jump ! " 
 
 That Frog he grinned a grin of glee, 
 
 And hit his chest a tJiump. 
 " O Pig" lie said, " be ruled by me, 
 A nd you shall see what you shall see. 
 This minute, for a trifling fee, 
 
 Til teach you how to jump ! 
 
 " You may be faint from many a fall, 
 
 And bruised by many a bump: 
 But, if you persevere through all, 
 And practise first on something small, 
 Concluding with a ten-foot wall, 
 You'll find that you can jump ! " 
 
 That Pig looked up with joyful start : 
 
 " Oh Frog, you are a trump ! 
 Your words have healed my inward smart- 
 Come, name your fee and do your part : 
 Bring comfort to a broken heart, 
 By teaching me to jump ! " 
 
 " My fee shall be a mutton-chop, 
 
 My goal this ruined Pump. 
 Observe with what an airy flop
 
 XXIIl] 
 
 THE PIG-TALE. 
 
 369 
 
 / plant myself upon the top ! 
 Nozv bend your knees and take a hop, 
 For that's the way to jump ! " 
 
 Uprose that Pig, and rushed, full whack. 
 
 Against the ruined Pump : 
 Rolled over like an empty sack, 
 And settled down upon his back, 
 While all his bones at once went ' Crack ! ' 
 
 It was a fatal jump. 
 
 B B
 
 370 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 When the Other Professor had recited this 
 Verse, he went across to the fire-place, and 
 put his head up the chimney. In doing this, 
 he lost his balance, and fell head-first into the 
 empty grate, and got so firmly fixed there 
 that it was some time before he could be 
 dragged out again. 
 
 Bruno had had time to say " I thought he 
 wanted to see how many peoples was up 
 the chimbley." 
 
 And Sylvie had said " Chimney not 
 
 chimbley." 
 
 And Bruno had said " Don't talk 'ubbish ! " 
 
 All this, while the Other Professor was being 
 extracted. 
 
 " You must have blacked your face ! " the 
 Empress said anxiously. " Let me send for 
 some soap ? " 
 
 " Thanks, no," said the Other Professor, 
 keeping his face turned away. " Black's quite 
 a respectable colour. Besides, soap would be 
 no use without water." 
 
 Keeping his back well turned away from 
 the audience, he went on with the Intro- 
 ductory Verses ;
 
 xxm] 
 
 THE PIG-TALE. 
 
 371 
 
 Little Birds are writing 
 Interesting books, 
 To be read by cooks : 
 Read, I say, not roasted 
 Letterpress, when toasted, 
 Loses its good looks. 
 
 Little Birds are playing 
 Bagpipes on the shore, 
 Where the tourists snore . 
 
 ' Thanks ! " they cry. " ' Tis 
 thrilling ! 
 
 Take, oh take this shilling! 
 Let us have no more ! " 
 
 Little Birds are bathing 
 Crocodiles in cream, 
 Like a happy dream : 
 Like, but not so lasting 
 Crocodiles, when fasting, 
 A re not all they seem !
 
 372 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 That Camel passed, as Day grew dim 
 
 Around the ruined Pump. 
 " O broken heart ! O broken limb ! 
 ft needs" that Camel said to him, 
 " Something more fairy-like and slim, 
 
 To execute a jump ! " 
 
 That Pig lay still as any stone, 
 
 A nd could not stir a stump : 
 Nor ever, if the trutJi were known,
 
 xxiii] THE PIG-TALE. 
 
 Was lie again observed to moan, 
 Nor ever wring liis hoofs and groan, 
 Because he could not jump. 
 
 Tliat Frog made no remark, for he 
 
 Was dismal as a dump : 
 He knew the consequence must be 
 That lie would never get his fee 
 And still he sits, in miserie, 
 Upon that ruined Pump ! 
 
 373 
 
 "It's a miserable story!" said Bruno. "It 
 begins miserably, and it ends miserablier. I 
 think I shall cry. Sylvie, please lend me your 
 handkerchief."
 
 374 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " I haven't got it with me," Sylvie whispered. 
 
 " Then I won't cry," said Bruno manfully. 
 
 "There are more Introductory Verses to 
 come," said the Other Professor, "but I'm 
 hungry." He sat down, cut a large slice 
 of cake, put it on Bruno's plate, and gazed 
 at his own empty plate in astonishment. 
 
 "Where did you get that cake?" Sylvie 
 whispered to Bruno. 
 
 " He gived it me," said Bruno. 
 
 " But you shouldn't ask for things ! You 
 know you shouldn't ! " 
 
 " I didrit ask," said Bruno, taking a fresh 
 mouthful : " he gived it me." 
 
 Sylvie considered this for a moment : then 
 she saw her way out of it. " Well, then, ask 
 him to give me some ! " 
 
 " You seem to enjoy that cake ? " the Pro- 
 fessor remarked. 
 
 " Doos that mean ' munch ' ? " Bruno whis- 
 pered to Sylvie. 
 
 Sylvie nodded. " It means 'to munch' and 
 ' to like to munch.' ' 
 
 Bruno smiled at the Professor. " I doos 
 enjoy it," he said.
 
 xxni] THE PIG-TALE. 375 
 
 The Other Professor caught the word. " And 
 I hope you're enjoying yourself, little Man ? "" 
 he enquired. 
 
 Bruno's look of horror quite startled him. 
 " No, indeed I aren't!" he said. 
 
 The Other Professor looked thoroughly 
 puzzled. " Well, well ! " he said. " Try some 
 cowslip wine ! " And he filled a glass and 
 handed it to Bruno. " Drink this, my dear,, 
 and you'll be quite another man ! " 
 
 " Who shall I be ? " said Bruno, pausing in 
 the act of putting it to his lips. 
 
 " Don't ask so many questions ! " Sylvie 
 interposed, anxious to save the poor old man 
 from further bewilderment. " Suppose we get 
 the Professor to tell us a story." 
 
 Bruno adopted the idea with enthusiasm. 
 " Please do ! " he cried eagerly. " Sumfin 
 about tigers and bumble-bees and robin- 
 redbreasts, oo knows ! " 
 
 " Why should you always have live things 
 in stories ?" said the Professor. "Why don't 
 you have events, or circumstances ? " 
 
 "Q\\ t please invent a story like that! "cried 
 Bruno.
 
 376 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 The Professor began fluently enough. " Once 
 a coincidence was taking a walk with a little 
 
 accident, and they met an explanation a very 
 
 old explanation so old that it was quite 
 
 doubled up, and looked more like a conun- 
 drum " he broke off suddenly. 
 
 " Please go on ! " both children exclaimed. 
 
 The Professor made a candid confession. 
 " It's a very difficult sort to invent, I find. 
 Suppose Bruno tells one, first." 
 
 Bruno was only too happy to adopt the 
 suggestion. 
 
 " Once there were a Pig, and a Accordion, 
 and two Jars of Orange-marmalade 
 
 " The dramatis persons" murmured the 
 Professor. " Well, what then ? " 
 
 " So, when the Pig played on the Accordion," 
 Bruno went on, " one of the Jars of Orange- 
 marmalade didn't like the tune, and the other 
 Jar of Orange-marmalade did like the tune 
 I know I shall get confused among those Jars 
 of Orange-marmalade, Sylvie ! " he whispered 
 anxiously. 
 
 " I will now recite the other Introductory 
 Verses," said the Other Professor.
 
 XXIll] 
 
 THE PIG-TALE. 
 
 377 
 
 Little Birds are choking 
 Baronets with him, 
 Taught to fire a gun : 
 TaugJit, I say, to splinter 
 Salmon in the zvinter 
 Merely for the fun. 
 
 Little Birds are hiding 
 Crimes in carpet-bags, 
 Blessed by happy stags: 
 Blessed, I say, though beaten 
 Since our friends are eaten 
 When the memory flags. 
 
 Little Birds are tasting 
 Gratitude and gold, 
 Pale with sudden cold: 
 Pale, I say, and wrinkled 
 When the bells have tinkled, 
 And the Tale is told.
 
 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 That Camel passed, as Day grew dim 
 
 Around the ruined Pump. 
 " O broken heart ! O broken limb ! 
 It needs" that Camel said to him, 
 " Something more fairy-like and slim, 
 
 To execute a jump ! " 
 
 That Pig lay still as any stone, 
 
 A nd could not stir a stump : 
 Nor ever, if the truth were known,
 
 XXIII] 
 
 THE PIG-TALE. 
 
 373 
 
 Was lie again observed to moan, 
 Nor ever wring his hoofs and groan, 
 Because he could not jump. 
 
 That Frog made no remark, for he 
 
 Was dismal as a dump : 
 He knew the consequence must be 
 That he would never get his fee 
 And still he sits, in miser ie, 
 Upon that ruined Pump ! 
 
 "It's a miserable story!" said Bruno. " It 
 begins miserably, and it ends miserablier. I 
 think I shall cry. Sylvie, please lend me your 
 handkerchief."
 
 380 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 The Lord Chancellor wrung his hands in 
 despair. " He is mad, good people! " he was 
 beginning. But both speeches stopped sud- 
 denly and, in the dead silence that followed, 
 
 a knocking was heard at the outer door. 
 
 " What is it ? " was the general cry. People 
 began running in and out. The excitement 
 increased every moment. The Lord Chancellor, 
 forgetting all the rules of Court-ceremony, ran 
 full speed down the hall, and in a minute 
 returned, pale and gasping for breath. 

 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 
 
 " YOUR Imperial Highnesses ! " he began. 
 " It's the old Beggar again! Shall we set the 
 dogs at him ? " 
 
 " Bring him here ! " said the Emperor 
 
 The Chancellor could scarcely believe his 
 ears. " Here, your Imperial Highness ? Did 
 I rightly understand .' 
 
 " Bring him here ! " the Emperor thundered 
 once more, The Chancellor tottered down 
 
 the hall and in another minute the crowd 
 
 divided, and the poor old Beggar was seen 
 entering the Banqueting- Hall.
 
 382 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 He was indeed a pitiable object : the rags, 
 that hung about him, were all splashed with 
 mud : his white hair and his long beard were 
 tossed about in wild disorder. Yet he walked 
 upright, with a stately tread, as if used to com- 
 mand : and strangest sight of all Sylvie 
 
 and Bruno came with him, clinging to his hands, 
 and gazing at him with looks of silent love.
 
 xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 383 
 
 Men looked eagerly to see how the Em- 
 peror would receive the bold intruder. Would 
 he hurl him from the steps of the dais ? But 
 no. To their utter astonishment, the Emper- 
 or knelt as the beggar approached, and with 
 bowed head murmured " Forgive us ! " 
 
 " Forgive us ! " the Empress, kneeling at her 
 husband's side, meekly repeated. 
 
 The Outcast smiled. " Rise up ! " he said. 
 " I forgive you ! " And men saw with wonder 
 that a change had passed over the old beggar, 
 even as he spoke. What had seemed, but now, 
 to be vile rags and splashes of mud, were seen 
 to be in truth kingly trappings, broidered with 
 gold, and sparkling with gems. All knew him 
 now, and bent low before the Elder Brother, the 
 true Warden. 
 
 " Brother mine, and Sister mine ! " the War- 
 den began, in a clear voice that was heard all 
 through that vast hall. " I come not to disturb 
 you. Rule on, as Emperor, and rule wisely. 
 For I am chosen King of Elfland. To-morrow 
 I return there, taking nought from hence, save 
 
 only save only " his voice trembled, and 
 
 with a look of ineffable tenderness, he laid
 
 384 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED, 
 
 his hands in silence on the heads of the two 
 little ones who clung around him. 
 
 But he recovered himself in a moment, and 
 beckoned to the Emperor to resume his place 
 at the table. The company seated themselves 
 
 again room being found for the Elfin- King 
 
 between his two children and the Lord 
 
 Chancellor rose once more, to propose the 
 next toast. 
 
 " The next toast the hero of the day- 
 why, he isn't here ! " he broke off in wild 
 confusion. 
 
 Good gracious ! Everybody had forgotten 
 Prince Uggug ! 
 
 " He was told of the Banquet, of course ? " 
 said the Emperor. 
 
 " Undoubtedly ! " replied the Chancellor. 
 " That would be the duty of the Gold Stick 
 in Waiting." 
 
 " Let the Gold Stick come forwards ! " the 
 Emperor gravely said. 
 
 The Gold Stick came forwards. " I attended 
 on His Imperial Fatness," was the statement 
 made by the trembling official. " I told him 
 of the Lecture and the Banquet ."
 
 xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 385 
 
 "What followed?" said the Emperor: for 
 the unhappy man seemed almost too frightened 
 to go on. 
 
 " His Imperial Fatness was graciously pleased 
 to be sulky. His Imperial Fatness was gra- 
 ciously pleased to box my ears. His Imperial 
 Fatness was graciously pleased to say ' I don't 
 care ! ' " 
 
 " ' Don't-care ' came to a bad end," Sylvie 
 whispered to Bruno. " I'm not sure, but I 
 believe he was hanged." 
 
 The Professor overheard her. " That result," 
 he blandly remarked, " was merely a case of 
 mistaken identity." 
 
 Both children looked puzzled. 
 
 " Permit me to explain. ' Don't-care ' and 
 ' Care' were twin-brothers. ' Care,' you know, 
 killed the Cat. And they caught ' Don't-care ' 
 by mistake, and hanged him instead. And so 
 ' Care ' is alive still. But he's very unhappy 
 without his brother. That's why they say 
 ' Begone, dull Care ! ' " 
 
 " Thank you ! " Sylvie said, heartily. " It's 
 very extremely interesting. Why, it seems to 
 explain everything!" 
 
 c c
 
 386 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Well, not quite everything, " the Professor 
 modestly rejoined. " There are two or three 
 scientific difficulties 
 
 " What was your general impression as to 
 His Imperial Fatness ? " the Emperor asked 
 the Gold Stick. 
 
 " My impression was that His Imperial Fat- 
 ness was getting more 
 
 " More what ? " 
 
 All listened breathlessly for the next word. 
 
 " More PRICKLY !" 
 
 "He must be sent for at once!" the Em- 
 peror exclaimed. And the Gold Stick went off 
 like a shot. The Elfin-King sadly shook his 
 head. " No use, no use ! " he murmured to 
 himself. " Loveless, loveless !" 
 
 Pale, trembling, speechless, the Gold Stick 
 came slowly back again. 
 
 "Well?" said the Emperor. "Why does 
 not the Prince appear ? " 
 
 " One can easily guess, said the Professor. 
 " His Imperial Fatness is, without doubt, a 
 little preoccupied." 
 
 Bruno turned a look of solemn enquiry on 
 his old friend. " What do that word mean ?"
 
 xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 387 
 
 But the Professor took no notice of the ques- 
 tion. He was eagerly listening to the Gold 
 Stick's reply. 
 
 " Please your Highness ! His Imperial Fat- 
 ness is Not a word more could he utter. 
 
 The Empress rose in an agony of alarm. 
 " Let us go to him ! " she cried. And there 
 was a general rush for the door. 
 
 Bruno slipped off his chair in a moment. 
 "May we go too?" he eagerly asked. But 
 the King did not hear the question, as the 
 Professor was speaking to him. " Preoccupied, 
 your Majesty ! " he was saying. " That is 
 what he is, no doubt ! " 
 
 " May we go and see him ? " Bruno repeated. 
 The King nodded assent, and the children ran 
 off. In a minute or two they returned, slowly 
 and gravely. " Well ? " said the King. " What's 
 the matter with the Prince ? " 
 
 " He's - - what you said,'" Bruno replied 
 looking at the Professor. " That hard word." 
 And he looked to Sylvie for assistance. 
 
 " Porcupine," said Sylvie. 
 
 " No, no ! " the Professor corrected her. 
 " ' Pre-occupied' you mean." 
 
 C C 2
 
 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
 
 xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 389 
 
 " No, it's porcupine" persisted Sylvie. " Not 
 that other word at all. And please will you 
 come ? The house is all in an uproar." ("And 
 oo'd better bring an uproar-glass wiz oo ! " 
 added Bruno.) 
 
 We got up in great haste, and followed the 
 children upstairs. No one took the least notice 
 of me, but I wasn't at all surprised at this, as I 
 had long realised that I was quite invisible to 
 them all even to Sylvie and Bruno. 
 
 All along the gallery, that led to the Prince's 
 apartment, an excited crowd was surging to and 
 fro, and the Babel of voices was deafening : 
 against the door of the room three strong men 
 
 were leaning, vainly trying to shut it for some 
 
 great animal inside was constantly bursting it 
 half open, and we had a glimpse, before the men 
 could push it back again, of the head of a furious 
 wild beast, with great fiery eyes and gnashing 
 
 teeth. Its voice was a sort of mixture there 
 
 was the roaring of a lion, and the bellowing of a 
 bull, and now and then a scream like a gigantic 
 parrot. " There is no judging by the voice ! " 
 the Professor cried in great excitement. " What 
 is it ? " he shouted to the men at the door.
 
 390 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 And a general chorus of voices answered him 
 " Porcupine ! Prince Uggug has turned into 
 a Porcupine ! " 
 
 " A new Specimen ! " exclaimed the delighted 
 Professor. " Pray let me go in. It should be 
 labeled at once ! " 
 
 But the strong men only pushed him back. 
 "Label it, indeed! Do you want to be eaten 
 up ? " they cried. 
 
 " Never mind about Specimens, Professor ! " 
 said the Emperor, pushing his way through the 
 crowd. " Tell us how to keep him safe ! " 
 
 " A large cage ! " the Professor promptly re- 
 plied. " Bring a large cage," he said to the 
 people generally, " with strong bars of steel, 
 and a portcullis made to go up and down like 
 a mouse-trap ! Does any one happen to have 
 such a thing about him ? " 
 
 It didn't sound a likely sort of thing for any 
 one to have about him ; however, they brought 
 him one directly : curiously enough, there hap- 
 pened to be one standing in the gallery. 
 
 " Put it facing the opening of the door, and 
 draw up the portcullis ! " This was done in a 
 moment.
 
 xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 391 
 
 " Blankets now ! " cried the Professor. " This 
 is a most interesting Experiment ! " 
 
 There happened to be a pile of blankets 
 close by: and the Professor had hardly said the 
 word, when they were all unfolded and held up 
 like curtains all around. The Professor rapidly 
 arranged them in two rows, so as to make a 
 dark passage, leading straight from the door to 
 the mouth of the cage. 
 
 " Now fling the door open! " This did not 
 need to be done : the three men had only to 
 leap out of the way, and the fearful monster 
 flung the door open for itself, and, with a yell 
 like the whistle of a steam-engine, rushed into 
 the cage. 
 
 " Down with the portcullis ! " No sooner 
 said than done : and all breathed freely once 
 more, on seeing the Porcupine safely caged. 
 
 The Professor rubbed his hands in childish 
 delight. " The Experiment has succeeded ! " he 
 proclaimed. " All that is needed now is to 
 feed it three times a day, on chopped carrots 
 and ." 
 
 " Never mind about its food, just now ! " 
 the Emperor interrupted. " Let us return to
 
 392 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 the Banquet. Brother, will you lead the way ? " 
 And the old man, attended by his children, 
 headed the procession down stairs. "Seethe 
 fate of a loveless life ! " he said to Bruno, as 
 they returned to their places. To which 
 Bruno made reply, " I always loved Sylvie, 
 so I'll never get prickly like that ! " 
 
 " He is prickly, certainly," said the Professor, 
 who had caught the last words, "but we must 
 remember that, however porcupiny, he is royal 
 still ! After this feast is over, I'm going to 
 
 take a little present to Prince Uggug just 
 
 to soothe him, you know : it isn't pleasant 
 living in a cage." 
 
 "What'll you give him for a birthday-pre- 
 sent ? " Bruno enquired. 
 
 " A small saucer of chopped carrots," replied 
 the Professor. "In giving birthday-presents, 
 
 my motto is cheapness ! I should think I 
 
 save forty pounds a year by giving oh, what 
 
 a twinge of pain ! " 
 
 " What is it ? " said Sylvie anxiously. 
 
 "My old enemy!" groaned the Professor. 
 
 " Lumbago rheumatism that sort of thing. 
 
 I think I'll go and lie down a bit." And he
 
 xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 393 
 
 hobbled out of the Saloon, watched by the 
 pitying eyes of the two children. 
 
 " He'll be better soon ! " the Elfin- King said 
 cheerily. " Brother ! " turning to the Emperor, 
 " I have some business to arrange with you 
 to-night. The Empress will take care of the 
 children." And the two Brothers went away 
 together, arm-in-arm. 
 
 The Empress found the children rather sad 
 company. They could talk of nothing but 
 " the dear Professor," and " what a pity he's 
 so ill ! ", till at last she made the welcome 
 proposal " Let's go and see him ! " 
 
 The children eagerly grasped the hands she 
 offered them : and we went off to the Profes- 
 sor's study, and found him lying on the sofa, 
 covered up with blankets, and reading a little 
 manuscript-book. " Notes on Vol. Three ! " he 
 murmured, looking up at us. And there, on a 
 table near him, lay the book he was seeking 
 when first I saw him. 
 
 " And how are you now, Professor ? " the 
 Empress asked, bending over the invalid. 
 
 The Professor looked up, and smiled feebly. 
 "As devoted to your Imperial Highness as
 
 394 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED 
 
 ever!" he said in a weak voice. "All of me, 
 that is not Lumbago, is Loyalty ! " 
 
 " A sweet sentiment ! " the Empress ex- 
 claimed with tears in her eyes. "You seldom 
 
 hear anything so beautiful as that even in 
 
 a Valentine ! " 
 
 " We must take you to stay at the seaside," 
 Sylvie said, tenderly. " It'll do you ever so 
 much good ! And the Sea's so grand ! " 
 
 " But a Mountain's grander ! " said Bruno. 
 
 " What is there grand about the Sea ? " said 
 the Professor. " Why, you could put it all 
 into a teacup ! " 
 
 " Some of it," Sylvie corrected him. 
 
 " Well, you'd only want a certain number 
 of tea-cups to hold it all. And then where's 
 
 the grandeur ? Then as to a Mountain why, 
 
 you could carry it all away in a wheel-barrow, 
 in a certain number of years ! " 
 
 " It wouldn't look grand the bits of it in 
 
 the wheel-barrow," Sylvie candidly admitted. 
 
 " But when oo put it together again 
 Bruno began. 
 
 " When you're older," said the Professor, 
 " you'll know that you cant put Mountains
 
 xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 395 
 
 together again so easily ! One lives and one 
 learns, you know ! " 
 
 " But it needn't be the same one, need it ? " 
 said Bruno. " Wo' n't it do, if / live, and if 
 Sylvie learns ? " 
 
 " I cant learn without living ! " said Sylvie. 
 
 "But I can live without learning!" Bruno 
 retorted. " Oo just try me ! " 
 
 " What I meant, was " the Professor began, 
 
 looking much puzzled, "was that you don't 
 
 know everything, you know." 
 
 "But I do know everything I know!" per- 
 sisted the little fellow. " I know ever so many- 
 things ! Everything, 'cept the things I don't 
 know. And Sylvie knows all the rest. " 
 
 The Professor sighed, and gave it up. " Do 
 you know what a Boojum is ? " 
 
 "7 know!" cried Bruno. "It's the thing 
 what wrenches people out of their boots ! " 
 
 "He means ' bootjack, ' Sylvie explained 
 in a whisper. 
 
 "You ca'n't wrench people out of boots" the 
 Professor mildly observed. 
 
 Bruno laughed saucily. " Oo can, though ! 
 Unless they're welly tight in."
 
 396 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Once upon a time there was a Boojum- 
 
 the Professor began, but stopped suddenly. 
 " I forget the rest of the Fable," he said. 
 " And there was a lesson to be learned from 
 it. I'm afraid I forget that, too." 
 
 " /'// tell oo a Fable ! " Bruno began in 
 a great hurry. "Once there were a Locust, 
 and a Magpie, and a Engine-driver. And the 
 Lesson is, to learn to get up early 
 
 " It isn't a bit interesting!" Sylvie said con- 
 temptuously. " You shouldn't put the Lesson 
 so soon." 
 
 " When did you invent that Fable ? " said 
 the Professor. " Last week ? " 
 
 "No!" said Bruno. "A deal shorter ago 
 than that. Guess again ! " 
 
 " I ca'n't guess," said the Professor. " How 
 long ago ? " 
 
 " Why, it isn't invented yet ! " Bruno ex- 
 claimed triumphantly. " But I have invented 
 a lovely one ! Shall I say it ? " 
 
 " If you've finished inventing it," said Syl- 
 vie. " And let the Lesson be ' to try again ' ! " 
 
 " No," said Bruno with great decision. " The 
 Lesson are ' not to try again ' ! " " Once there
 
 xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 397 
 
 were a lovely china man, what stood on the 
 chimbley-piece. And he stood, and he stood. 
 And one day he tumbleded off, and he didn't 
 hurt his self one bit. Only he would try again. 
 And the next time he tumbleded off, he hurted 
 his self welly much, and breaked off ever so 
 much varnish." 
 
 " But how did he come back on the chim- 
 ney-piece after his first tumble ? " said the 
 Empress. (It was the first sensible question 
 she had asked in all her life. 
 
 "/put him there ! " cried Bruno. 
 
 " Then I'm afraid you know something about 
 his tumbling," said the Professor. " Perhaps 
 you pushed him ? " 
 
 To which Bruno replied, very seriously, 
 
 " Didn't pushed him muck he were a lovely 
 
 china man," he added hastily, evidently very 
 anxious to change the subject. 
 
 " Come, my children ! " said the Elfin- King, 
 who had just entered the room. " We must 
 have a little chat together, before you go to 
 bed." And he was leading them away, but 
 at the door they let go his hands, and ran back 
 again to wish the Professor good night.
 
 398 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Good night, Professor, good night ! " And 
 Bruno solemnly shook hands with the old 
 man, who gazed at him with a loving smile, 
 while Sylvie bent down to press her sweet lips 
 upon his forehead. 
 
 " Good night, little ones ! " said the Professor. 
 
 " You may leave me now to ruminate. I'm 
 
 as jolly as the day is long, except when it's 
 necessary to ruminate on some very difficult 
 subject. All of me," he murmured sleepily
 
 xxiv] THE BEGGAR'S RETURN. 399 
 
 as we left the room, " all of me, that isn't 
 Bonhommie, is Rumination ! " 
 
 " What did he say, Bruno ? " Sylvie enquired, 
 as soon as we were safely out of hearing. 
 
 " I think he said ' All of me that isn't Bone- 
 disease is Rheumatism.' Whatever are that 
 knocking, Sylvie ? " 
 
 Sylvie stopped, and listened anxiously. It 
 sounded like some one kicking at a door. " I 
 hope it isn't that Porcupine breaking loose ! " 
 she exclaimed. 
 
 " Let's go on ! " Bruno said hastily. " There's 
 nuffin to wait for, oo know ! '
 
 CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 
 
 THE sound of kicking, or knocking, grew 
 louder every moment : and at last a door opened 
 somewhere near us. " Did you say ' come in ! ' 
 Sir ? " my landlady asked timidly. 
 
 " Oh yes, come in ! " I replied. " What's 
 the matter ? " 
 
 " A note has just been left for you, Sir, by 
 the baker's boy. He said he was passing the 
 Hall, and they asked him to come round and 
 leave it here." 
 
 The note contained five words only. " Please 
 come at once. Muriel."
 
 xxv] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 401 
 
 A sudden terror seemed to chill my very 
 heart. " The Earl is ill ! " I said to myself. 
 " Dying, perhaps ! " And I hastily prepared 
 to leave the house. 
 
 " No bad news, Sir, I hope ?" my landlady 
 said, as she saw me out. " The boy said as 
 some one had arrived unexpectedly ." 
 
 11 I hope that is it ! " I said. But my feelings 
 were those of fear rather than of hope : though, 
 on entering the house, I was somewhat reassured 
 by finding luggage lying in the entrance, bear- 
 ing the initials " E. L." 
 
 " It's only Eric Lindon after all ! " I thought, 
 half relieved and half annoyed. " Surely she 
 need not have sent for me for that ! " 
 
 Lady Muriel met me in the passage. Her 
 eyes were gleaming but it was the excite- 
 ment of joy, rather than of grief. " I have 
 a surprise for you ! " she whispered. 
 
 " You mean that Eric Lindon is here ? " I 
 said, vainly trying to disguise the involuntary 
 bitterness of my tone. " ' The funeral baked 
 meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage- 
 tables^ " I could not help repeating to myself. 
 How cruelly I was misjudging her ! 
 
 D D
 
 402 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED'. 
 
 "No, no!" she eagerly replied. "At least 
 Eric is here. But ," her voice quivered, 
 
 " but there is another ! " 
 
 No need for further question. I eagerly 
 followed her in. There on the bed, he lay- 
 pale and worn the mere shadow of his old 
 
 self my old friend come back again from 
 
 the dead ! 
 
 "Arthur!" I exclaimed. I could not say 
 another word. 
 
 " Yes, back again, old boy ! " he murmured, 
 smiling as I grasped his hand. " He" indica- 
 ting Eric, who stood near, "saved my life 
 He brought me back. Next to God, we must 
 thank him, Muriel, my wife ! " 
 
 Silently I shook hands with Eric and with 
 the Earl : and with one consent we moved into 
 the shaded side of the room, where we could 
 talk without disturbing the invalid, who lay, 
 silent and happy, holding his wife's hand in 
 his, and watching her with eyes that shone 
 with the deep steady light of Love. 
 
 " He has been delirious till to-day," Eric 
 explained in a low voice : " and even to-day he 
 has been wandering more than once. But the
 
 xxv] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 403 
 
 sight of her has been new life to him." And 
 then he went on to tell us, in would-be careless 
 
 tones 1 knew how he hated any display of 
 
 feeling how he had insisted on going back to 
 
 the plague-stricken town, to bring away a man 
 whom the doctor had abandoned as dying, but 
 who might, he fancied, recover if brought to 
 the hospital : how he had seen nothing in the 
 wasted features to remind him of Arthur, and 
 only recognised him when he visited the 
 hospital a month after : how the doctor had 
 forbidden him to announce the discovery, say- 
 ing that any shock to the over-taxed brain 
 might kill him at once : how he had staid on at 
 the hospital, and nursed the sick man by night 
 
 and day all this with the studied indifference 
 
 of one who is relating the commonplace acts 
 of some chance acquaintance ! 
 
 " And this was his rival ! " I thought. " The 
 man who had won from him the heart of the 
 woman he loved ! " 
 
 " The sun is setting," said Lady Muriel, 
 rising and leading the way to the open window. 
 "Just look at the western sky! What lovely 
 crimson tints ! We shall have a glorious day 
 
 D D 2
 
 404 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED.
 
 xxv] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 405 
 
 to-morrow We had followed her across 
 
 the room, and were standing in a little group, 
 talking in low tones in the gathering gloom, 
 when we were startled by the voice of the sick 
 man, murmuring words too indistinct for the 
 ear to catch. 
 
 " He is wandering again," Lady Muriel 
 whispered, and returned to the bedside. We 
 drew a little nearer also : but no, this had none 
 of the incoherence of delirium. " What reward 
 shall I give unto the Lord" the tremulous lips 
 were saying, "for all the benefits that He hath 
 done unto me ? I will receive the cup of salva- 
 tion, and call and call ' but here the 
 
 poor weakened memory failed, and the feeble 
 voice died into silence. 
 
 His wife knelt down at the bedside, raised 
 one of his arms, and drew it across her own, 
 fondly kissing the. thin white hand that lay 
 so listlessly in her loving grasp. It seemed 
 to me a good opportunity for stealing away 
 without making her go through any form of 
 parting : so, nodding to the Earl and Eric, I 
 silently left the room. Eric followed me down 
 the stairs, and out into the night.
 
 406 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Is it Life or Death ? " I asked him, as 
 soon as we were far enough from the house 
 for me to speak in ordinary tones. 
 
 " It is Life ! " he replied with eager emphasis. 
 " The doctors are quite agreed as to that. All 
 he needs now, they say, is rest, and perfect 
 quiet, and good nursing. He's quite sure to 
 get rest and quiet, here : and, as for the nursing 
 why, I think it's \\&\. possible " (he tried hard 
 to make his trembling voice assume a playful 
 tone) " he may even get fairly well nursed, in 
 his present quarters ! " 
 
 "I'm sure of it!" I said. "Thank you so 
 much for coming out to tell me ! " And, think- 
 ing he had now said all he had come to say, I 
 held out my hand to bid him good night. He 
 grasped it warmly, and added, turning his face 
 away as he spoke, " By the way, there is one 
 other thing I wanted to say. I thought you'd 
 
 like to know that that I'm not not in the 
 
 mind I was in when last we met. It isn't 
 
 that I can accept Christian belief at least, 
 
 not yet. But all this came about so strangely. 
 And she had prayed, you know. And I had 
 prayed. And and " his voice broke, and
 
 XXV] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 407 
 
 I could only just catch the concluding words, 
 ' ' there is a God that answers prayer ! I know 
 it for certain now." He wrung my hand once 
 more, and left me suddenly. Never before had 
 I seen him so deeply moved. 
 
 So, in the gathering twilight, I paced slowly 
 homewards, in a tumultuous whirl of happy 
 thoughts : my heart seemed full, and running 
 over, with joy and thankfulness : all that I had 
 so fervently longed for, and prayed for, seemed 
 now to have come to pass. And, though I re- 
 proached myself, bitterly, for the unworthy sus- 
 picion I had for one moment harboured against 
 the true-hearted Lady Muriel, I took comfort 
 in knowing it had been but a passing thought. 
 
 Not Bruno himself could have mounted the 
 stairs with so buoyant a step, as I felt my way 
 up in the dark, not pausing to strike a light 
 in the entry, as I knew I had left the lamp 
 burning in my sitting-room. 
 
 But it was no common lamplight into which 
 I now stepped, with a strange, new, dreamy 
 sensation of some subtle witchery that had come 
 over the place. Light, richer and more golden 
 than any lamp could give, flooded the room,
 
 408 SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 streaming in from a window I had somehow 
 never noticed before, and lighting up a group of 
 three shadowy figures, that grew momently 
 
 more distinct a grave old man in royal robes, 
 
 leaning back in an easy chair, and two children, 
 a girl and a boy, standing at his side. 
 
 " Have you the Jewel still, my child ? " the 
 old man was saying. 
 
 " Oh, yes ! " Sylvie exclaimed with unusual 
 eagerness. " Do you think I'd ever lose it or 
 forget it ? " She undid the ribbon round her 
 neck, as she spoke, and laid the Jewel in her 
 father's hand. 
 
 Bruno looked at it admiringly. " What a 
 lovely brightness ! " he said. " It's just like a 
 little red star ! May I take it in my hand ? " 
 
 Sylvie nodded : and Bruno carried it off to 
 the window, and held it aloft against the sky, 
 whose deepening blue was already spangled 
 with stars. Soon he came running back in 
 some excitement. "Sylvie! Look here!" he 
 cried. " I can see right through it when I hold 
 it up to the sky. And it isn't red a bit : it's, oh 
 such a lovely blue ! And the words are all 
 different ! Do look at it ! "
 
 xxv] LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 409 
 
 Sylvie was quite excited, too, by this time ; 
 and the two children eagerly held up the Jewel 
 to the light, and spelled out the legend between 
 
 them, " ALL WILL LOVE SYLVIE." 
 
 " Why, this is the other Jewel ! " cried 
 Bruno. " Don't you remember, Sylvie ? The 
 one you didrit choose ! " 
 
 Sylvie took it from him, with a puzzled look, 
 and held it, now up to the light, now down. 
 "It's blue, one way," she said softly to herself, 
 " and it's red, the other way ! Why, I thought 
 there were two of them -Father ! " she sud- 
 denly exclaimed, laying the Jewel once more in 
 his hand, " I do believe it was the same Jewel 
 all the time ! "
 
 4 io SYLVIE AND BRUNO CONCLUDED. 
 
 " Then you choosed it from itself" Bruno 
 thoughtfully remarked. " Father, could Sylvie 
 choose a thing from itself ? " 
 
 " Yes, my own one," the old man replied 
 to Sylvie, not noticing Bruno's embarrassing 
 
 question, "it was the same Jewel but you 
 
 chose quite right." And he fastened the ribbon 
 round her neck again. 
 
 '*' SYLVIE WILL LOVE ALL ALL WILL LOVE 
 
 SYLVIE," Bruno murmured, raising himself on 
 tiptoe to kiss the 'little red star.' " And, when 
 you look at it, it's red and fierce like the sun 
 and, when you look through it, it's gentle 
 and blue like the sky ! " 
 
 " God's own sky," Sylvie said, dreamily. 
 
 "God's own sky," the little fellow repeated, 
 as they stood, lovingly clinging together, and 
 looking out into the night. " But oh, Sylvie, 
 what makes the sky such a darling blue ? " 
 
 Sylvie's sweet lips shaped themselves to 
 reply, but her voice sounded faint and very 
 far away. The vision was fast slipping from 
 my eager gaze : but it seemed to me, in that 
 last bewildering moment, that not Sylvie but 
 an angel was looking out through those trustful
 
 xxv] 
 
 LIFE OUT OF DEATH. 
 
 brown eyes, and that not Sylvie's but an angel's 
 voice was whispering 
 
 is 
 
 THE END.
 
 GENERAL INDEX. 
 
 [N.B. ' I ' refers to " Sylvie and Bruno," ' II' to " Sylvie 
 and Bruno Concluded."] 
 
 Accelerated Velocity, causes of; II. 190 
 
 Air, Cotton-wool lighter than, how to obtain ; II. 166 
 
 Animal-Suffering, mystery of ; II. 296 
 
 Anti-Teetotal Card ; II. 139 
 
 Artistic effect said to require Indistinctness ; I. 241 
 
 Asylums, Lunatic-, future use for ; II. 132 
 
 Axioms of Science ; II. 330 
 
 Badgers, the Three (Poem) ; I. 247 
 Barometer, sideways motion of; I. 13 
 Baron Doppelgeist ; I. 85 
 Bath, Portable, for Tourists; I. 25 
 Bazaars, Charity-; II. 44 
 Beauty, Pain of realising; II. 337 
 Bed, reason for never going to ; II. 141 
 Bees, Mind of; II. 298 
 Bessie's Song; II. 76 
 Bible-Selections for Children ; I. xiii 
 
 ,, learning by heart ; I. xiv 
 
 Black Light, how to produce ; II. 341 
 Boat, motion of, how to imitate on land; II. 108 
 Books, or Minds. Which contain most Science? I. 21 
 Boots for Horizontal Weather; I. 14
 
 4H GENERAL INDEX. 
 
 Brain, inverted position of; I. 243 
 Bread-sauce appropriate for Weltering ; I. 58 
 Breaking promises. Why is it wrong? II. 27 
 Bruno's Song : I. 215 
 
 Burden of Proof misplaced by Crocodiles; I. 230 
 Ladies; I. 235 
 
 Watts, Dr. ; do. 
 
 'Care' and ' Don't-Care,' history of; II. 
 
 Carrying one's self. Why is it not fatiguing? I. 169 
 
 Charity-Bazaars ; II. 44 
 
 ,, fallacies as to ; II. 43 
 
 Pseudo- ; II. 42 
 Child's Bible ; I. xiii 
 
 ,, Sunday, in last generation ; I. 387 
 
 ,, view of Adult Life ; II. 260 
 Present Life ; I. 330 
 Choral Services, effect of; I. 273. II. xix 
 Chorister's life, dangers of; I. 274. II. xix 
 Church-going, true principle of: I. 272 
 Competition for Scholars ; II. 187 
 Competitive Examination ; II. 184 
 Conceited Critic always depreciates; I. 237 
 Content, opportunity for cultivating; I. 152 
 'Convenient' and 'Inconvenient,' difference in meaning; 
 
 I. 140 
 Conversation at Dinner-parties, how to promote : (see 
 
 " Dinner-parties ") 
 
 Cotton-wool lighter than air, how to obtain ; II. 166 
 Critic, conceited, always depreciates : I. 237 
 
 ,, how to gain character of; I. 238 
 Crocodiles, Logic of; I. 230 
 Croquet. Why is it demoralising? II. 135
 
 GENERAL INDEX. 415 
 
 Darwinism reversed ; I. 64 
 
 Day, length and shortness of, compared ; I. 159 
 
 true length of; I. 159 
 Death, certainty of, effect of realising ; I. xix 
 Debts, how to avoid Payment of; I. 131 
 Deserts, use for; II. 158 
 
 Dichotomy, Political, in common life; II. 198, 205, 207 
 Dinner-parties, how to promote Conversation at : 
 
 Moving-Guests; II. 145 
 Pictures ; II. 143 
 
 Revolving-Humorist; II. 145 
 
 Wild-Creatures ; II. 144 
 Dog-King, the, ('Nero'); I- i?5- II. 58 
 Dog, Man's advantage over ; II. 293 
 
 reasoning power of; II. 294 
 ' Doing good,' ambiguity of phrase ; II. 43 
 Doppelgeist, Baron ; I. 85 
 Dramatization of Life ; I. 333 
 Dreaminess, certain cure for; I. 136 
 Drunkenness, how to prevent ; II. 71 
 
 Eggs, how to purchase ; II. 196 
 Electricity, influence of, on Literature ; I. 64 
 Enjoyment of Life ; I. 335 
 
 ,, Novel-reading; I. 336 
 
 Eternity, contemplation of. Why is it wearisome ? II. 258 
 Events in reverse order ; I. 350 
 Examination, Competitive ; II. 184 
 Experimental Honeymoons ; II. 136 
 Eye, images inverted in the ; I. 242 
 
 Fairies, captured, how to treat ; II. 5 
 
 character of, how to improve ; I. 190
 
 416 GENERAL INDEX. 
 
 Fairies, existence of, possible ; II. 300 
 
 ,, presence of, how to recognise ; I. 191. II. 264 
 
 ,, moral responsibility of; II. 301 
 Falling Houses, Life in; I. 100 
 Final Causes, problem in ; I. 297 
 Fires in Theatres, how to prevent ; II. 165 
 Fortunatus' Purse, how to make ; II. 100 
 Free- Will and Nerve-Force; I. 390 
 Frog, young, how to amuse ; I. 364 
 Future Life. What interests will survive in it ? II. 256 
 
 Gardener's Song : 
 
 Albatross; I. 164. Argument; 11.319. Banker's 
 Clerk; I. 90. Bar of Mottled Soap ; II. 319. Bear 
 without a head; I. 116. Buffalo; I. 78. Coach- 
 and-Four ; I. 116. Double Rule of Three; I. 168. 
 Elephant ; I. 65; II. 334. Garden-Door; I. 168. 
 Hippopotamus ; I. 90. Kangaroo ; I. 106. Letter 
 from his Wife; I. 65. Middle of Next Week; 
 I. 83. Penny-Postage-Stamp; I. 164. Rattlesnake; 
 I. 83. Sister's Husband's Niece ; I. 78. Vege- 
 table-Pill ; I. 1 06 
 
 Ghosts, treatment of, by Shakespeare ; I. 60 
 
 ,, in Railway-Literature ; I. 58 
 
 Weltering, Bread-sauce appropriate for ; I. 58 
 
 Girls' Shakespeare ; I. xv 
 
 Government with many Kings and one Subject ; II. 172 
 
 Graduated races of Man ; I. 299 
 
 Guests, Moving-; II. 145 
 
 Happiness, excessive, how to moderate ; I. 159 
 Heaven inconceivable to those on Earth ; II. 260 
 Honesty, Dr. Watts' argument for; I. 235
 
 GENERAL INDEX. 4*7 
 
 Honeymoons, Experimental ; II. 136 
 Horizontal Weather, Boots for; I. 14 
 Horses, Runaway, how to control ; II. IQ&-- 
 Hot Ink, use of; II. 357 
 Houses, Falling, Life in ; I. 100 
 Humorist, Revolving ; II. 145 
 Hunting, Morality of; I. xx, 318; II. xviii 
 Hymns appealing to Selfishness ; I. 276 
 
 'Idle Mouths'; II. 37 
 ' Imponderal ' ; II. 166 
 ' Inconvenient ' and 'Convenient,' difference in meaning of; 
 
 I. 140 
 
 Indistinctness said to be necessary for Artistic effect ; I. 241 
 Ink, Hot, use of; II. 357 
 Instinct and Reason ; II. 295 
 Inversion of Brain ; I. 243 
 
 ,, images on Retina ; I. 242 
 
 Jam-tasting; II. 150 
 
 Jesting in Letter- writing, how to indicate ; II. 117 
 
 'King Fisher' Song; II. 14 
 
 Knocking-down, some persons not liable to ; II. 54 
 
 Ladies, Logic of; I. 235 
 
 Least Common Multiple, rule of, applied to Literature ; I. 22 
 Letter-writing, how to indicate Jesting in ; II. 117 
 Shyness in; II. 115 
 
 Life, adult, Child's view of; II. 260 
 ,, Dramatization of; I. 133 
 
 Future, What interests will survive in it ? II. 256 
 
 E E
 
 418 GENERAL INDEX. 
 
 Life, how to enjoy ; I. 335 
 
 in Falling Houses; I. 100 
 
 ,, reverse order; I. 350 
 
 Present, Child's view of; I. 330 
 Light, Black, how to produce ; II. 341 
 Literature as influenced by Electricity ; I. 64 
 ,, Steam ; I. 64 
 
 for Railway ; I. 58 
 
 ,, treated by rule of Least Common Multiple ; I. 22 
 "Little Birds' (Poem); II. 364, 371, 377 
 'Little Man' (Poem); II. 265 
 
 ,, privilege of being ; I. 299 
 
 Liturgy, Choral, effect of; I. 273 
 Logic of Crocodiles ; I. 230 
 
 of Ladies; I. 235 
 
 ,, of Dr. Watts ; do. 
 
 requisites for complete Argument in ; I. 259 
 Loving or being loved. Which is best ? 1-77 
 Lunatic-Asylums, future use for; II. 132 
 Lunatics out-numbering the Sane, result of; II. 133 
 
 Man, advantages of, over the Dog ; II. 293 
 
 ,, graduated races of; I. 299 
 
 ,, Little, privilege of being ; 1.299 
 Maps, best size for; II. 169 
 ' Matilda Jane ' (Poem) ; II. 76 
 ' Megaloscope ' ; II. 334 
 
 Minds, or Books. Which contain most Science ? I. 2 1 
 Money, effect of increasing value of; I. 312 
 
 playing for, a moral act; II. 135 
 Morality of Sport ; I. xx, 318. II. xviii. 
 Moral Philosophy, teachers of. Which are most esteemed ? 
 
 II. 181
 
 GENERAL INDEX. 419, 
 
 Moving-Guests; II. 145 
 
 ,, Pictures; II. 143 
 Music, how to get largest amount of in given time ; I. 338. 
 
 Why is it sometimes not pleasing? II. 156 
 
 'Nero ' the Dog-King ; I. 175. II. 58 
 Nerve-Force and Free-Will ; I. 390 
 Nerves, slow action of; I. 158 
 Novel-reading, how to enjoy ; I. 336 
 
 ' Obstruction,' Political, in common life ; II. 203 
 'Onus probandi ' misplaced by Crocodiles ; I. 230 
 
 Ladies ; I. 235 
 
 ,, Dr. Watts ; do. 
 
 ' Opposition,' Political, in common life ; II. 200 
 
 Pain, how to minimise ; 1-337 
 Paley's definition of Virtue ; I. 273 
 Parentheses in Conversation, how to indicate; I. 251 
 Passages, Selected, for learning by heart ; I. xv 
 Payment of Debts, how to avoid ; I. 1 3 1 
 'Peter and Paul ' (Poem) ; I. 143 
 
 Philosophy, Moral. What kind is most esteemed? II. 181 
 Phlizz, a visionary flower ; I. 282 
 fruit ; I. 75 
 
 ,, nurse-maid ; I. 283 
 
 Pictures, how to criticize ; I. 238 
 
 Moving ; II. 143 
 ' Pig Tale ' (Poem) ; I. 138; II. 366, 372 
 Planets, small; II. 170 
 Playing for money, a moral act; II. 135 
 Pleasure, how to maximise ; 1-335
 
 420 GENERAL INDEX 
 
 Plunge-Bath, portable, for Tourists; I. 25 
 Poems, first lines of : 
 
 ' He stept so lightly to the land ' ; I. 291 
 ' He thought he saw an Albatross ' ; I. 164 
 ., an Argument '; II. 319 
 
 a Banker's Clerk ' ; 1.90 
 
 a Buffalo'; I. 78 
 a Coach-and-Four ' ; I. 116 
 
 an Elephant ' ; I. 65 ; II. 334 
 ,, ,, a Garden-Door '; I. 168 
 
 ,, a Kangaroo ' ; I. 106 
 
 ,, ,, a Rattlesnake ' ; I. 83 
 
 ' In Stature the Manlet was dwarfish '; II. 265 
 ' King Fisher courted Lady Bird ' ; II. 14 
 ' Little Birds are &c. '; II. 364, 371, 377 
 ' Matilda Jane, you never look ' ; II. 76 
 ' One thousand pounds per annuum ' ; II. 194 
 ' Peter is poor, said noble Paul' ; I. 143 
 ' Rise, oh rise ! The daylight dies ' ; I. 215 
 ' Say, what is the spell, when her fledgelings are 
 
 cheeping'; II. 305 
 
 ' There be three Badgers on a mossy stone ' ; I. 247 
 ' There was a Pig, that sat alone ' ; I. 138; II. 366, 372 
 Political Dichotomy in common life; II. 198, 205, 207 I 
 
 ., ' Opposition ' in common life ; II. 200 
 Poor people, method for enriching; I. 312 
 Poverty, blessings of; I. 152 
 Prayer for temporal blessings, efficacy of; I. 391 
 Preachers appealing to Selfishness; I. 276 
 exceptional privileges of; I. 277 
 Promises. When are they binding ? 11.26 
 
 breaking of. Why is it wrong ? II. 27 
 
 Proof, Burden of; (see ' Burden of Proof)
 
 GENERAL INDEX. 421 
 
 Property, inherited, duties of owner of ; II. 39 
 
 Pseudo-Charity ; II. 43 
 
 Purse of Fortunatus, how to make ; II. 100 
 
 Questions in Conversation, how to indicate; I. 251 
 
 Rail way- Literature ; I. 58 
 
 Scenes, Dramatization of; I. 333 
 Rain, Horizontal, Boots for ; I. 14 
 Reason and Instinct ; II. 295 
 
 power of, in Dog ; II. 294 
 Retina, images inverted on ; I. 242 
 Reversed order of Events ; I. 350 
 Revolving-Humorist ; II. 145 
 Runaway Horses, how to control; II. 108 
 
 Scenery enjoyed most by Little Men ; I. 299 
 
 Scholars, Competition for; II. 187 
 
 Science, Axioms of; II. 330 
 
 Do Books, or Minds, contain most? I. 21 
 
 Selections from Bible, for Children ; I. xiii 
 
 ,, for learning by heart ; I. xiv 
 
 ,, Prose and Verse, ,, ; I. xv 
 
 ,, from Shakespeare, for Girls ; I. xv 
 
 Selfishness appealed to in Hymns ; I. 276 
 
 religious teaching ; do. 
 
 ,, ,, Sermons ; do. 
 
 Sermons appealing to Selfishness ; do. 
 faults of; I. 277 ; II. xix 
 
 Services, Choral, effect of; I. 273 
 
 Shakespeare, passages of, discussed : 
 'All the world's a stage ' ; I. 335 
 'Aye, every inrh a king ! ' ; I. 373
 
 422 GENERAL INDEX. 
 
 Shakespeare, passages of, discussed : 
 
 ' Is this a dagger that I see before me ? ' ; I. 371 
 ' Rest, rest, perturbed Spirit ! ' ; I. 60 
 ' To be, or not to be ' ; I. 370 
 Selections from, for Girls ; I. xv 
 
 ,, treatment of Ghosts by ; I. 60 
 
 Shyness, how to indicate in Letter-writing; II. 115 
 'Sillygism,' requisites for; I. 259 
 Sinfulness, amount of, in World; II. 125 
 
 of an act differs with environment; II. 123 
 Sobriety, extreme, inconvenience of; I. 140 
 Spencer, Herbert, difficulties in ; I. 258 
 Spherical, advantage of being; II. 190. 
 Sport, Morality of; I. xx, 318. II. xviii. 
 Steam, influence of, on Literature ; I. 64 
 Sufferings of Animals, mystery of; II. 296 
 Sunday, as spent by children of last generation ; I. 387- 
 
 observance of; I. 385 
 Sylvie and Bruno's Song ; II. 305 
 
 Teetotal-Card ; II. 139 
 
 Theatres, Fires in, how to prevent; II. 165 
 
 'Three Badgers' (Poem); I. 247 
 
 Time, how to put back; I. 314, 347 
 
 reverse; I. 350 
 ,, storage of; II. 105 
 'Tottles' (Poem); II. 194, 201, 209, 248 
 Tourists' Portable Bath ; I. 25 
 Trains running without engines; II. 106 
 
 Velocity, Accelerated, causes of; II. 190 
 Virtue, Paley's definition of; I. 274 
 Voyages on Land ; II. 109
 
 GENERAL INDEX. 423 
 
 Walking-sticks that walk alone, how to obtain ; II. 166 
 Water, people lighter than, how to obtain ; II. 165 
 Watts, Dr., Argument for Honesty; I. 235 
 
 Logic of; do. 
 Weather, Horizontal, Boots for; I. 14 
 Weight, force of, how to exhaust ; II. 343 
 
 ,, relative, conceivable non-existence of; I. too 
 Weltering, Bread-sauce appropriate for; I. 58 
 ' What Tottles meant' (Poem) ; II. 194, 201, 209, 248 
 Wild-Creatures; II. 144 
 ~\Vilderness, use for; II. 158 
 - Wilful waste, &c.,' lesson to be learnt from ; II. 69 
 
 RICHARD CLAY AND Soxs, LIMITED, LONDON AND BUNGAY.
 
 TURN OVER,
 
 WORKS BY LEWIS CARROLL. 
 
 PUBLISHED BY 
 
 MACMILLAN AND CO., LONDON. 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. With 
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 WORKS BY LEWIS CARROLL 
 
 PUBLISHED BY 
 
 MACMILLAN AND CO., LONDON. 
 
 CAUTIONS TO READERS. 
 
 On August 1st, 1881, a story appeared in Aunl Jiidy 1 * Magazine 
 No. 184, entitled "The Land of Idleness, by LEWIS CARROLL." 
 This story \vas really written by a lady, FRAULEIN IDA LACKOWITZ. 
 Acting on her behalf, Mr. CARROLL forwarded it to the Editor : and 
 this led to the mistake of naming him as its author. 
 
 In October, 1887, the writer of an article on " Literature for the Little 
 Ones," in The Nineteenth Century, stated that in 1864, "TOM HOOD 
 was delighting the world with such works as from Nowhere to the 
 North Pole. Between TOM HOOD and Mr. LEWIS CARROLL there is 
 more than a suspicion of resemblance in some particulars. Alice's 
 Adventures in Wonderland narrowly escapes challenging a comparison 
 with From Nowhere to the North Pole. The idea of both is so similar 
 that Mr. CARROLL can hardly have been surprised if some people have 
 believed he was inspired by HOOD." The date 1864 is a mistake. From 
 Nowhere to the North Pole was first published in 1874, nine years after 
 the publication of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. 
 
 ADVICE TO WRITERS. 
 
 Buy "THEWONDERLANDCASE FOR POSTAGE-STAMPS," 
 invented by LEWIS CARROLL, Oct. 29, 1888, size 4 inches by 3, 
 containing 12 separate pockets for stamps of different values, 2 Coloured 
 Pictorial Surprises taken from Alice in Wonderland, and 8 or 9 Wise 
 Words about Letter- Writing. It is published by Messrs. EMBERLIN & 
 SON, 4 Magdalen Street, Oxford. Price is. 
 
 N. B. If ordered by Post, an additional payment will be required, to 
 cover cost of postage, as follows : 
 
 One copy i^d. 
 
 Two or three do. zd. 
 
 Four do i\d. 
 
 Five to fourteen do 3</. 
 
 Each subsequent fourteen or fraction thereof . . . I \d. 
 
 [TURN OVER.
 
 [SPECIMEN PAGE] 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES UNDER GROUND. By Lewis Carroll. 
 -OUx-e. 
 
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 Being a Facsimile of the Original MS. Book, afterwards developed into "Alice's 
 
 -Adventures in Wonderland." With Thirtyseven Illustrations by the Author. 
 
 Crown 8vo, 4s. 
 
 MACMILLAN & CO., LONDON.
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY, LOS ANGELES 
 
 COLLEGE LIBRARY 
 
 This book is due on the last date stamped below. 
 
 Book Slip-35m-7,'63(D8634s4)4280
 
 UCLA-College Library 
 
 PR4611S984 
 
 L 005 669 1 74 4 
 
 College 
 Library 
 
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