5/Vu v.3 THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES I SOUTHERN BRANCH VERS1TY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY LOS ANGELES, CALIF. THE SPIRITUAL U I X O T E. V O L. III. RO ;X T I S P IE CE Vol 3 THE SPIRITUAL QUIXOTE: OR, THE SUMMER'S RAMBLE O F Mr. GEOFFRY WILDGOOSE, A COMIC ROMANCE. A NEW EDITION, Correted and Improved. pudet hire opprobria nobil t did potuifle Hon. Humour without a moral is buffoonry, H'JOKIS, LONDON: PRINTED FOR J. DODSLEY, PALL-MALL, M DCCLXXXIII. J*GROSSER r , [ v J CONTENTS THE THIRD VOLUME. BOOK IX. CHAP. I. QOOD Effects of Mr. WUdgoofes Labours. p. I CHAP. II. The Hotel at Tewkflury. p. 4 CHAP. III. Life of a Stroller. Criticifms on Shakefpeare. p. 7 C-H A P.-' IV. State of Religion at Worcester. p. 12 CHAP. V. An unexpected Rencounter. p. 14 CHAP. VI. A jujl Character of Lady Lyttelton, from a difcarded Servant. p. ig CHAP. VII. A Sketch of The Leafowes, and of the Character of the worthy PoJfiJ/br of that Place. p. 23 CHAP. VIII. A Practical Leflure again/I the Vanities of this World. p. 27 A3 CHAP. vi CONTENTS OF CHAP. IX. A Difcourfe on Idolatry. p. 29 CHAP. X. Slight P erf ecut ions. p. 32 CHAP. XI. A Glimpfe of Mifs Town fend. p. 36 CHAP. XII. Meet with a fsafonable Invitation. p. 40 CHAP. XIII. Some Account of a Stranger. p. 45 CHAP. XIV. The Life of a dying Man. p. 47 CHAP. XV. A Remedy for Want of Appetite. p. 52 CHAP. XVI. Hi/lory of a Long-liver, and other Chit-chat. CHAP. XVII. Rules for Health. p. 58 CHAP. XVIII. A new Syjitw of Education. p. 62 CHAP. XIX. Account of the little fat Rettor. p. 66 CHAP. XX. Further Account of him. p. 69 CHAP. XXI. Set out for Ajhbourn^ near the Peak. p. 73 BOOK THE THIRD VOLUME, vii BOOK X. CHAP. 1. A Phenomenon. P. 75 CHAP. II. P. 77 The Generofity of a Quack. p. 80 CHAP. IV. Ecce autem alterum ! p. 82 CHAP. V. An affetting Scene. Tugwell in Jeopardy, p. 85 CHAP. VI. A judicious Magiftrate. p. 88 CHAP. VII. They fet forth towards the High Peak. p. 92 CHAP. VIII. Fall in With a muftcal Party. p. 95 CHAP. IX. Characters of Sir William and Lady Farefler. p. 99 CHAP. X. Character of Colonel Rappee. p. 102 CHAP. XI. A Conyerfation on Religion^ and other Suljefts. p. 105 CHAP. XII. A Scene in tht Nurfery. p. 1 12 CHAP. viii CONTENTS OF CHAP. XIII. Family Prayers ; followed by Repartees. p. 1 1 5 CHAP. XIV. A Morning Converfation on the Back Stairs. p. IIQ CHAP. XV. On the Expediency of a regular Ordination, p. 121 CHAP. XVI. A Leffure in the Servants Nail. p. 125 CHAP. XVII. Lady Forefter's Morning Engagement. p. 129 CHAP. XVIII. A Scene more agreeable than the laft. p. 132 CHAP. XIX. A flight Alarm. p. 135 CHAP. XX. The Lawfulnefs of eating a good Dinner, p. 137 CHAP. XXI. Protejlant Nunneries. The difconfolate Widow. p. 141 CHAP. XXII. Frailty not confined to Females. p. 148 CHAP XXIIL Wonders of the Peak. p. 151 CHAP. XXIV. View of a Lead-mine. p. 156 CHAP. XXV. Meautns of Nature* p. 162 CHAP, THE THIRD VOLUME, ix CHAP. XXVI. Narrative of a licentious Amour. p. 164 CHAP. XXVII. 77)e Narrative continued. p. 1 68 CHAP. XXVIII. Its fatal Event. P- 17 CHAP. XXIX. A Remedy againjl Suicide. p. 174 CHAP. XXX. Love triumphant over Senfuality. p. 178 CHAP. XXXI. More nocJurnal Perils. p. 180 BOOK XI. CHAP. I. The two Pilgrims decamp^ without Beat of Drum, p. 184 CHAP. II. A le&rned Inn-keeper. Mr. Wildgoofe meets an old Acquaintance. p. 188 CHAP. III. The lajl Efforts of expiring Vanity. p. 192 CHAP. IV. A Parody on the Speech of faques, in Shakefpeare* s As you like it. p. 197 CHAP. V. Trifling Difficulties. p. 201 CHAP. x CONTENTS OF CHAP. VI. Tugivell is under a NeceJJlty of drinking Strong-beer in/lead of Small. p. 203 CHAP. VII. The fortunate Ifabella. p. 208 CHAP. VIII. Further Account of her. p. 211 CHAP. IX. A curious Infcription. p. 217 CHAP. X. Mr. Wildgoofe makes a new Acquaintance* p. 219 CHAP. XI. At Warwick. p. 223 CHAP. XII. Olympic Honours. p, 225 CHAP. XIII. Mr. Wildgoofe's Farewell Sermon. p. 227 CHAP. XIV. Work for the Doclor. p. 230 CHAP. XV. An old Gentleman in Black arrives. p. 233 CHAP. XVI. Character of Dr: Gremlle. p. 235 CHAP. XVII. Dr. G revs lie and Mr. Wildgoofe. p. 239 CHAP. XVIII. At Dr. Greville's* P- 242 CHAP. THE THIRD VOLUME. xi CHAP. XIX. Mrs. Mahoney's Intelligence canvajfid. p. 247 CHAP. XX. Mr, Wildgoofe retires to Reft. p. 249 BOOK XII. CHAP. I. The Inn at Warwick. p. 253 CHAP. II. Kitchen-fluff. p. 257 CHAP. III. At Dr. Greville's. p. 260 CHAP. IV. At Mr. Townfend" s. p. 264 CHAP. V. At Dr. Greville's. p. 268 CHAP. VI. An Interview. p. 278 CHAP. VII. Mrs. Mahoney's Story finijhed. p. 280 CHAP. VIII. At Dr. Greville's. p. 285 CHAP. IX. An Invitation to Mr. Townfend's. p. 288 CHAP. X. At Stratford upon Avon. p. 289 CHAP. xtt CONTENTS. CHAP. XI. More Lumber yet j a Wife and two Children. p, 292 CHAP. XII. A Plan for Reformation. CHAP. XIII. 'The Suljett continued. CHAP. XIV. Mr. Wildgoofes Reception at Home. CHAP. XV. Jerry Tugwell's Reception at Home. CHAP. XVI. The grand Point fettled. CHAP. XVII. Modern Tafte^ and that of our Ancejlors. CHAP. XVIII. Other Matters adjujled. CONCLUSION. THE [ I ] THE SPIRITUAL QUIXOTE, BOOK IX. CHAP I. Good Effetts of Mr. Wildgoofe's Labours. BOTH Wildgoofe and his friend Jere- miah, having each of them been fome- what difappointed (the former in his ex- pectation of meeting MifsTownfend at Glou- cefter, and the latter in his hopes of returning home to his Dame Dorothy), travelled on for fome time with a kind of folemn taciturnity. Tugwell, at length, ventured firft to break fi- lence, by obferving, " that they might now " have got home in one day's time, if fo be as VOL. III. B Jim 2 THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. " how his Worfhip had been fo difpofed." Wildgoofe replied, with fome degree of pee- vifhnefs, " Why, Jerry, to be fure, you are " not my hired fervant; and I cannot oblige " you to attend me againft your will : but how " can you think fo meanly of me, as to ima- " gine I will defert my poft, and not execute <( the commiflion which Mr. Whitfield has * given me ; efpecially as Heaven has inclined " the hearts of fuch numbers to liften to my *' inftru&ions, and I have fo fair a profpecr, of ** converting fo many poor fouls from the error " of their ways ?" " Convart them !" fays Tugwell. " Odhang " it, Mafter ! why, to be fure, your Wor- ** fhip does preach main well, that is certain ; " but, as for convarting^ methinks fome of " them are only convarted from bad to worfe. c< There is the Barber now : he was poor " enough, I believe, when we firft went to *' his houfe ; but he is now convarted^ from a " poor, honeft Shaver, to a wicked Robber, '* and, from fcarifying men's faces, to ttrrify- " ing folks upon the highway." Wildgoofe was not pleafed with being reminded of this unlucky inftance ; but fai'd, " the Barber's 55 was a particular cafe j that he was perfe- " cuted THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. 3 <* cuted by his neighbours, and driven by " neceffity to one wicked attempt ; and that, " he made no doubt, the Barb.er was* ftill in, " a ftate of Grace, though appearances were " againft him." " Then there is Madam Sarfenet," fays Tugwell ; " to my thinking, (he was a very " good fort of woman before (he was unvaried, " and maintained her mother and her fifter ; " and I faw them at dinner upon fome good " roaft mutton and baked pudding ; and " now, fince (he has been convarted, it feems " to be but poor with them ; or elfe, me- " thinks, they would have had a bit of foft " cheefe, or butter, with their bunch of " radimes laft night." Wildgoofe not thinking it worth while to make any anfwer to his friend's obfervation, filence again enfued for fome timej and, in ftiort, nothing material befell the two tra- vellers before they reached Tewkfbury, about twelve o'clock ; where they halted for an hour or two, to refrefh themfelves in the heat of the day. B2 CHAP, 4 THE SPIRITUAL QUIXOTE. CHAP. II. The Hotel at Tewkfbury. MR. Wildgoofe, enquiring of my Landlord where they flopped, " what he could " have to eat," was anfwered, " Whatever " you pleafe, Sir j but," continues mine Hoir, " you may dine with us, if you chufe it. We " have a fine leg of veal, an excellent gammon " of bacon, and a couple of charming fowls u got his walks cleaned out, and made the " men work fo late, in order to finifh the " cataract, where his friend had firft feen him." As Wildgoofe knew the elegance of Mr* Shenftone's tafte, he could not but add his fuffrage to thofe of the reft of the world, in admiring his place ; and obferved, " that) u doubtlefs, the pleafufes we receive from " gardens, woods, and lawns, and other " rural embellifliments, were the moft in- u nocent of any amufements\ but then we 41 fhould confider them as amufemtnts only, " and not let them engrofs too much of our " attention ; that we ought to fpiritualize "our ideas as much as poffible; and that it VOL. IIL C was '26 THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. "* was worth while to enquire, how far too " violent a fondnefs for thefe merely inanimate " beauties might interfere with our love of "God, and attach us too flrongly to the w things of this world." This gave Mr. Shenftone an opportunity, in his turn, of combating his friend's enthuft- aitic notions; who (he found by his own ac- count) had deferted the {ration in which his own choice and his Mother's approbation had fixed him, to fally forth and preach the Gofpel, without any other call to that office than what a warm imagination had fuggefted, and which a romantic view of converting finners at large had prompted him to under- take. The two friends, however, fupped together very amicably ; and, after drinking a cool- tankard, and fpending a pretty late evening in talking over the incidents of their youth, which they had fpent together in the Univer- fity, Mr. Shenftone {hewed his friend into an elegant bed-chamber, fitted up in a Gothic tafte ; to which the bed itfelf, the reft of the furniture, and the painted glafs in the window, all correfponded. And contiguous to this, he lodged THE SPIRITUAL (QUIXOTE. 27 lodged Tugwell, his trufty Squire and fellow- traveller, and wiibed them a good night. CHAP. VIII. A praSllcal Lefture againft the Vanities of this World. AS foon as Mr. Shenftone rofe in th- morning (which was not always at a very early hour), he went up to his friend's apartment, to fummon him to breakfaft j when, to his furprize, he found both him and his companion departed, without taking leave of him ; and upon Wiidgoofe's table was left the following letter : " My good Friend, . they heard two or three feHows in a work-fhop, up two pair of flairs, quarrelling, i'wearing, and curfmg, in a mod tremendous manner. Wildgoofe, thinking it incumbent upon him ; to reprove their profanenefs, made an halt ; and, beckoning with his hand,, called out to the vociferous garreteers, " to hold their w blafphemous tongues." The litigants, ob- fervirig a man of a tolerable appearance addrefT- ing himfelf to them, were filent for a moment; fcu.t, wh.en they heard Wildgoofe,, wijh an TJTE SPIRITUAL QjtfTXOTE. 33 air of authority, charging them, in the name of the King of kings, " not to take the name " of God in vain ;" with a mixture of mirth, indignation, and contempt, they redoubled their oaths and imprecations upon the Preacher; and one of them emptied the ftale contents of an unfcowered pifs-pot full upon the heads of him and his companion. As Mr. Wildgoofe was got almoft into the middle of the ftreet, ia order to direct: his voice to them more com- modioufly, he received only a flight fprink- ling of their intended kindnefs ; but,, as Tug- well flood juft under the window, with his mouth open, waiting the event of his Matter's exhortation, he received a more liberal portion^, part of which came full into his mouth^ and pe- netrated pretty deeply into the cavity of his throat. Wildgoofe, obferving the inefficacy of his" rebuke, cried out, in the Apoftolical ftyle;, "Well, my brethren j I have delivered my " own foul : look you to it ; your blood be " upon your own heads !"' Tugwell, being lefs patient (at this ill re- turn of their intended favour) fpicting and' rubbing his face, and fhaking his cloaths, ex- claimed with fome indignation againft his C 5 Matter,, 34 THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. Mafter, for this unfeafonable interpofition ; " Pok-i-cat take it, for me ! the blood^ and " guts, and the Devil, and all, I think, is " upon our heads : and it was no otherwife "likely; what, the .dickins / had we to do, *' with folks that were quarrelling up in a " garret, and never troubled their heads about " us ?" "Well," quoth Wildgoofe, "as the Ro- " man Emperor faid, when he laid a tax up- " on urine, c the fmell of money is fweet, " whencefoever it comes ;' fo, I can fa'yy * { perfecution is fweet and wholefome, in any " fhape whatfoever.'* " Yes," fays Tugwell, ** even in the fhape of a pifs-pot, I fuppofe. * 5 The fmell of money may be fweet j but, " I am fure, neither the fmell, nor the tafte, tt of what was thrown upon our heads was " either fweet or wholefome j at leaft, I had "rather you Worfhip fliould have it than " I, if you think it fo very fweet and fo whole-' fome." The haplefs Pilgrims now pafled on through Birmingham ; Wildgoofe leading the way, and Tugwell at fome little diftance behind him. Wildgoofe, reflecting upon what had" jail happened, faid, u he began to wonder ** wha* THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. 3 " what they had done, that the world was fa " civil to them." " Odfbobs !" cries Jerry (looking up to- the window of a little fhop), " there is a fine " plumb-pudding !" " The friendfhip of the world is enmity " with God," continues Wildgoofe. " It is fmoaking hot, juft out of the oven," fays Tug well. " My zeal began to cool;, and I grew quite " remifs in my duty," proceeds the Matter. " I have a great-mind to have a penny-worth "'of it," fays the man.. "But come, let us make the beft of our " way, to refcue the poor Miners from the "power of Satan," fays Wildgpofe. " I muft and will go back 1 , and have a (lice ** of that pudding," fays Tugwell.- Thus the Mafter and Man proceeded Jn a kind of foliloquy, entirely, inattentive to each other. But, when Wildgoofe difcovered his fellow-traveller's gluttonous intention, and faw him return with a good flice of pudding in his hand, "AhJ Jerry, Jerry" (cries he) " fwallow thy fpittle, and fubdue thy appetite. " I. thought thou had ft juft fatisfied the de- " mands of Nature with an hearty brcakfaft ; C'6 36 THE SPIRITUAL QUIXOTE,. ** and now thou art at it again : if thou hadft anc ^ a fpoon-full of cream, and a little " orange-flower- water, and make a little ? ryMTf&Trf* " do not luaik ! * which immediately put a * c flop to that unneceflary confumption of time, " as they efteemed it." " Well," fays Slicer, " I fhould be forry, " on account of my brethren of the quill, to " have that laconic ftile introduced into our /Elian. Var. Hift. ' law- THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. 57 * c law-proceedings. But you put me in mind " of another inftance of Spartan feverity, not " foreign to our purpofe, on the fubjeft of " health. '* * Lyfander going upon public bufmefs " into Ionia, amongft other prefents fent him ** upon his landing, there was fome ox-beef *' and a large cheefe-cake. He furveyed the " latter with fome curiofity ; and, in the *' modern phrafe, enquired, c what the Devil " it was ?' Thofe that brought it told him, " ' it was a compofition of honey, cheefe, ' and other ingredients.' c Oh ! very well,' " fays he ; c give that to my fervants ; for I " and the other ftretchcd out, and defiring " every one he faw to (rand off; for, (fays he) "if you do but touch my Duftus Tboracicus^ I u am a dead man." " Yes," fays Slicer ; " and I have heard an *' addition to that ftory, which, I fuppofe, you " do not care to mention. Sir John Shad- " well, Phyfician to George the Firft, was " telling this very ftory at court to Lady D , who laughed heartily at it; and, " meeting the Doaor the next day, fhe put " herfelf in the fame attitude, and defired him ^ D 6 "4o 60 THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. " to ftand off; for, (fays (he) if you do but u touch my -what do you call it ? I am a dead " woman." Well," fays the little -Reftor, it is and had taken this opportunity of marching out of town with- out being pelted by the mob, as he richly de- ferved. An old man, however, whofe wife was a. favourer of the Method i its, faid, " fuch fellows " as Wildgoofe and his companion ought to u be punifhed, for making a difturbance, and u hindering $O THE SPIRITUAL QJU1XOTE. " hindering people from their work; that they " had convartedhis wife in particular, who ufed " to mind her knitting, and buttle about, and " fcold at him, all the day long. But, fince thefe " Methodifts had come about, and convarted her, ** fhe minded nothing but reading and pray- u ing, and finging Pfalms, from morning to w night." The good Juftice faid, " if the con- " varting his wife was all the mifchief they had " done, he wifhed they would convart all the u fcolds in the parifh." And fo, after afldng; Wildgoofe a few queftions, he ordered the Con- flable to releafe them, and difmifled the com- pany from his prefence. The Jacobite Barber, whofe caufe (as we obferved) Tugwell had efpoufed, as foon as his Worfhip was out of fight, clapped Jerry on the (boulder, by way of triumph ; and faid, " as " he himfelf'was acquainted with the Butler; " and Tugwell, he found, was a curious man ; " he would {hew him a curiofity. The Prince *' is in this houfe now," (fays he, whifpering in Tugwell's ear.) Jerry darting with furprize, the Barber got his friend the Butler to take him up the back ftairs, into a long gallery, which led to the principal bed-chambers ; on the doors of which had been written by the Quarter- mafter THE SPIRITUAL QJHXOTE. T mafter with chalk (and afterwards traced over with white-lead by way of curiofity) the names of the Prince^ Lord Ogilvy, Pitfligo, and other Rebel-chiefs ; who, in their way to Derby, having halted one night in Ambourn, had been quartered in this Gentleman's houfe. Tugwell expreiled great furprife at feeing the very place where fo renowned a perfonage had lately lodged ; whofe name he had often heard read in the Gloucefter Journal ; which Mrs. Wildgoofe had lent the Vicar, the Vicar had fmuggled to his Clerk, who had frequently retailed it to the whole parifh, under the great elm, at Tugwell's cottage-gate. Wildgoofe returning to the inn before his fellow-traveller, and rinding a number of people, who had been aflembled on the report of Tug- well's being taken into cuftody, (till loitering about, took the opportunity of mounting the fuggejium (or horfe-block) once more, though without much effect j people's paffions being rather calm in a morning, and not fo well dif- pofed to catch theiire of enthufiafm in open day- light, as amidft the dazzling luftre of fconces and chandeliers at the evening tabernacle. Some of thofe who had taken a cup in the morning were a little riotous \ fome few, however, feemed affected, $2 THE SPIRITUAL QJJI3COTE. affe&ed, and confulted with Wildgoofe what-: further was to be done towards their converfion ; , and alfo informed him which were the moft- uncultivated parts of the Peak, and flood moftt in need of the labours of his mifiion* G H A P. VII. They fet forth towards the High- Peak* OUR Spiritual Quixote was now impatient- to Tally forth, in queft of more fpirituaL adventures. But Tugwell, hearing fo romantic an account of the mountainous country they were going to traverfe, intreated his Mafter not to do any thing ralhly, nor fet. out upon an-; empty ftomach ;, and, it being now paft the middle of the day, they made a pretty hearty meal upon fome cold mutton-pye ; a good feg- ment of which,, for fear of accidents, Jerry flowed in his wallet : and about three o'clock they fet out on the Buxton road for the High- Peak. After travelling.about an hour and a half, our two Pilgrims imagined they had climbed to the fummit of the mountains : but they ftill found " Alps on Alps arife !" At length, however, they THE SPIRITUAL qyiXOTE. 93 they came upon an extenfive plain, to the ex- tremity of which their fight could not reach. Jerry, after read ing fo many books of travels, and having been near two months on foot, now lifting up his hands with aftonifhment, cried out, " he did not think the world had been -*' half fo wide." As the fun had new journeyed far towards the >weft; and they could fee neither village, hut, nor even a Tingle tree to Shelter them from the dews of the night ; Jerry's heart began to full him : and he could not forbear again to wifli 'himfelf at home with Dorothy, in his own" .chimney-corner ; or at leaft at the inn at Afli- bourn, which they had quitted fo late in the day. As the road led them by degrees towards the extremity of the moor; they heard, at adiftance on the left-hand, the found of a French-horn ; which a little revived Tugwell's fpirits, though it revived at the fame time the jeopardy he had been in amongft the ftag-hunters, as related in the beginning of this hiftory. Jerry, however, intreated his Matter (as the evening was coming on) " to turn afide, and try " whether they could find any place to lodge " at ; efpecially as there was nothing to preach "to, 7 94 THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTB. " to, but a few flieep and fome black cattk, " which were feeding amongft the rocks." Though Wildgoofe was unwilling to liften to any overtures of indulgence, he thought it prudent enough to comply with his friend's pro- pofal. Proceeding, therefore, towards the edge of the plain, they came to a precipice of an af- tonifhing height - } from which was a ftupendous view into a deep valley; the hill rifing on the oppofite fide, covered with woods, near half a mile perpendicularly. The river Dove ran winding at the bottom, amidft pyramidical rocks, that rife detached from the hill, with flirubs growing from their tops, and the roots hanging down in a grotefque manner. In fome places, they almoft meet, and intercept the view ; in others they open, and difcover rocks beyond rocks, in long perfpeclive up the valley, in a moft beautiful profufion. CHAP. THE SPIRITUAL QJUIXOTE. 95 CHAP. VIII. Fall in with a mufical party* THE French horns, which were blown by two fervants, placed in the oppofite woods, now ceafed ; and upon their approach- ing, out of curiofity, to the edge of the precipice, the two Pilgrims were furprized to hear (feem- ingly about half way down the hill) an an- gelic voice, accompanied by two German- flutes, finging a fong from the Mafque of Comus: *' On ev'ry hill, in ev'ry grove, " Along the margin of each ftream j " Dear, confcious fcenes of former love! " I moan ; and Damon is my theme. " The hills, the groves, the rocks remain j But Damon there I feek in vain." Wildgoofe was filled with rapture at the found : and, when the fong was finifhed, could not forbear repeating to himfelf (yet loud enough for his fellow-traveller to hear) thcfe beautiful lines from Shakefpeare, with whom 96 THE SPIRITUAL QUIXOTE-. whom (as we obferved) he had formerly been converfant : ' I thought that all things had been favage here tl But, whate'er you are * That, in this defert inaccefllble, ' Lofe and neglecT. the creeping hours of time j If ever ycm have liv'd in better days ; If ever been where bells have knollM to church-' ** Ah !" fays Tugwell, U I wifh I could hear that, if he fhould difmifs him " from his fervice, he had fpoilt him for any " other place ; as he could never fubmit to the " arbitrary and capricious treatment which " fervants met with from too many mafters." Mrs. Molly, who flood at the door with her work in her hand, faid, " fhe had a complaint " of the fame kind againft her Lady. "Wild- goofe replied, " if that was all their complain*, u he hoped they would not, like too many fer- " vants, make it their whole bufmefs, when " they got together in the hall, to abufe their " Mafter and Miftrefs, to wafte their vidiualg, " damage the furniture, notch the tables, and " do all the little mifchief in their power. " But," continued Wildgoofe, " we have " all one greater Mafter, of whofe favour we " ought to be more ambitious ; and with a view " to whofe approbation, we ought to fervc our " earthly mafters with fidelity and care." G 4 Wildgpofe J28 THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. Wildgoofe then proceeded to afk each of them fome queilions about the principles of Religion j and found Lady Forefter had taken great pains in inftrucling them : but, as he thought them yet ignorant of the true Faith, and the doctrine of the New Birth (as he and Mr. Whitfield underflood it), he began to talk to them a little myfterioufiy on that fubjeft ; when, fome of his expreffions being neceflarily capable of a double meaning, Mrs. Molly caft down her eyes, but gave Mr. George a fide-look, with a wanton archnefs ; who, being apprehenfive that the fame tender glances might be directed where he would not wifli them to be, told her, with a jealous furlinefs, " that fne had better go to her " Lady's dreffing-room, or to the nurfery, " which was her proper fphere." Lady Forefter, indeed, now rang the bell ; on which the fervants all difperfed to their feveral ftations : and, after her Ladyfhip had given the Houfe-keeper her neceflary orders, Ihe fummoned Mr. Wildgoofe to attend her and Mifs Sainthill in their morning walk. CHAP, THE 5PIKITCTAL QJJIXOTE.^ 1ZC[ C H A P. XVII. Lady Forefter's Morning Engagement^ LADY Forefter always made it a rule, to* anfwer every demand of duty^ before flie indulged herfelf in any kind of amufementj and accordingly went her circuit, almoft every morning, amongft the poor people in the village, however flie might be engaged the remaining part of the day. Having made up fome linen for a poor woman that was near her time, her Ladyfhip's firft vifit was made to her, to whom fhe delivered the bundle. As the woman had generally a child every year, Lady Forefter had got the linen made of a ftrong new cloth, that it might ferve for more than one child. The poor woman turned it about, and furveyed it with fome attention; and, upon Lady Forefter's afking her, " how " {he liked it j" ihe faid, " it was pretty " coarfe, but fhe believed it might do." Mifs Sainthill afked the woman, " if fhe " did not thank her Ladyfhip for her trouble ?" The woman replied, " Ah ! my Lady has G 5 " fo J0 ' THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. " fo many maidens to work for her, it is no " great trouble to Jhe" Wildgoofe fhook his head ; and Lady Fo- refter fmiled, and proceeded to another cottage, where lived a poor woman with feven or eight fmall children, almoft naked, and who ap- peared to be half-ftarved. Lady Forefter enquired, " why fhe had not " fent for fome broth for her children, as (he " ufed to do ?" The woman replied, " Why, " to tell you the truth, my Lady, the broth is " not fo good as it ufed to be, fmce this new u Cook came." " I am forry for that," fays my Lady j " but what is the matter with it " now?" ** Ah !" cries the woman, " Mrs. " Filch, the old Cook, ufed to give a poor " body a bit of meat now and then with one's w broth. Mrs. Filch had fome charity, and " was very good to the poor." " I am afraid not," fays my Lady : " fhe " was good to fome of them (whrn fhe was in " the humour for it), and bad to others : fhe " would give what was very improper to thofe " that were her favourites, and fend others " away with reproaches and empty pitchers, " juft as the whim feized her : and that was a " principal reafon for my parting with her." In THE SPIRITUAL QJLJ I X T E. l^T In the next houfe which they came to, lived poor man, that had had an ague for fome time ; to whom Lady Forefler had fenta cordial infu- fion of the Bark. She enquired, " how it " agreed with him, and whether he had yet '* got rid of his ague?" The man replied, * c the fluff had done him no good at all." " Perhaps you did not take it regularly ?" fays my Lady. " Ah ! no," replies the man ; " it " was fo bitter^ I could not bear the tafle of it.'* Lady Forefter told him, " all the virtue of " itconfifted in its bitternefs; and, if he would " not take that, there was no other remedy lt for an ague." The man faid, " then it " muft be as it pleafed God; for he could not " take Doffor'sjlujfc if he died for it." And fo they left him. They now met a poor miferable-looking old fellow, who feemed to be juft flipped out of an ale- houfe, which flood by the road-fide, near the end of the village. " Well, John," cried Lady Forefter, " I am glad to fee you abroad " again ; I thought your lamenefs had ftill w confined you. How do you like the book " which I fent you to read in your confine- *' ment ?" " I don't know, my Lady ; to be " fure, it is a very good book j but I have been G 6 " fo J32 THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. " fo bufy, I have not had time to read a word " of it." Wildgoofe could not but obferve, " that her " Ladyfhip had been rather unfuccefsful in her " endeavours to do good amongft her poor " neighbours ;" but added, " that fhe would " not lofe her reward." Lady Forefter replied, " fhe was fufficiently u rewarded, in the confcioufnefs of having * c difcharged her duty." Wildgoofe added, " if " her Ladyfhip could but bring them to have a " true Faith, {he would fee the effedts of it, " in bringing forth the fruits of the Spirit, " Meeknefs, Humility, Sobriety, and every Chriftian virtue." " Well," replied Lady Forefter, " that you " may not think all my efforts entirely fruit- " lefs, I will take you to one of my more pro- V mifing inftitutions." CHAP. XVIII. A Scene more agreeable than the loft* LADY Forefter now took Wildgoofe to a more neat, or rather an elegant, habita- tion, on a little eminence near the Park-wall. There was a fmall court before it, planted with THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. 13$ with fweet herbs, fhrubs, and flowers. On their approach, the door immediately opened to them, and difcovered near twenty little girls and boys, working or reading j and a genteel elderly woman in the midft of them, inftruiting them in their needle-work, or in their books. The moment Lady Forefter entered, one of the little girls threw herfelf upon her knees before her, and begged her Ladyfliip, " not to " fend her home j and fhe would never be " guilty of ftubbornnefs any more." This, it feems, was a piece of difcipline obferved by the Matron of the fchool, that, when any of the children were refractory, and a flight pu- nifhment proved ineffectual, fhe turned them over to her Ladyfhip's vifitatorial authority; which kept them more in awe, than the fevereft corporal chaftifement would probably have done. The children were all clean and neat j and their drefs was reduced to a kind of uniform, by a fort of band, or handkerchief, with which they were prefented when they came to the fchool : and, as the children were employed part of the day in weeding the garden, or other neceflary bufmefs about the houfe, feveral ufe- ful fervants had been fent out from this femi- nary, 134 THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. nary, within the nine or ten years that Lady Forefter had been in the neighbourhood. Wildgoofe afked the School-miftrefs, " what " religious books fhe taught the children ; and " whether fhe had met with any of Mr. " Weftey's excellent traits for that purpofe r" She replied, " that me had taught them the " Church-Catechifm, and a fhort Expofition of " it j and endeavoured, from thence, to incul- " cate into them their duty to God, their neigh- " bour, and themfelves : but did not think " children of that age capable of any fpeculative " notions, or any of the myfterious d6lrines M of Chriftianity." Wildgoofe replied, " that there had been of *' late many inftances of children at five or fix, " nay, even at three years old*, wha had had " great experiences, and had ajjiirance of their " fins being pardoned, and had alfo been fa- " voured with vifions and revelations of an ** extraordinary nature* j and that we had no " reafon to doubt, that even now, as well as in " times of old, God could make even babes and ** fucklmgs inftruments of his glory." The School-miftrefs expreffed fome furprize at this difcourfe ; as being ignorant of Wild- # Mr, We%'8 Journals, pajfim t goofe's THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. 13$ goofe's peculiar character. But Lady Forefter faid, " they were going to take a walk in the give an account of what had befallen him. The cafe was, Tugwell being fo little verfed in the natural hiftory of animals, as not to dif- tinguifh a Stag from a Jack-afs (which fuffici- ently appeared at his firft fetting out on his travels), he had rambled into the Park, to fee the deer j where meeting with a large herd, one of them (which had been bred up as a tame fawn) advanced before the reft, and offered his fore- head to be fcratched ; with which inftance of familiarity Tugwell was at firft highly delight- ed. But the young deer, who was now above a year old, waxing wanton, began by degrees to be more familiar than Jerry approved of ; who therefore poking him off with his ftaff, the deer began to be in earneft, and, drawing himfelf up, attacked Tugwell in front with great vehemence, and foon overfet him ; and, when down, battered him with his young horns fo furioufly, that Jerry had good reafon to cry out for affiftance. The young pricket, however, at fight of Bob Tench, had made off, and joined the herd ; fo that Wildgoofe thought his friend had again been alarmed (as he was at Cardiff) by the vain terrors of imaination. THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. 137 Wildgoofe now returned, to find out the Ladies, and acquaint them with the caufe of the outcry they had heard : but they were fo terri- fied, that they had run home and alarmed the whole family, many of whom were by this time come to the Park-gate ; and, being informed of the truth of the affair, were greatly diverted with the baftinado Jerry had received from the tame deer, and only lamented that they had not come foon enough to be witnefs to the lu- dicrous operation. But though Tugwell was not much damaged in his perfon by this accident ; Sir William, for fear of the flag's becoming more mifchievous as his horns became more capable of doing mi (chief, ordered the poor animal to be {hot the firft opportunity. CHAP. XX. The Lawfulness of eating a good Dinner, IT being now dinner-time, moft of the com- pany were aflembled in thedining-parlour; where (as Sir William kept a conftant table) the cloth was laid, and the fide-board fet out with fome degree of fplendor. Wildgoofe could not 138 THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. not forbear making a comparifon between the elegance with which Sir William lived, and the fcenes of mifery which they had j aft been view- ing amongft the poor people in the village : and, addreffing himfelf to Lady Forefter, faid, " he " ought not to indulge himfelf in faring fump- " tuoujly, whilft the poor Miners were periftiing " for want of that fpiritual food with which he " had undertaken to fupply them." " Well," fays Lady Forefter, " but there is a time for all 44 things j we will not detain you when you have *' fixed upon a plan of operation."" Why, " I think," fays the young Templar, " it would " be a proper aft of mortification, for the " Gentleman to fet out upon his miflion imme- ** diately, now dinner is coming upon the table : " as 1 have heard Mr. Wefley and his friends " (when they firft fet up this fcheme of refor- '* mation in the Univerfity) ufed frequently to " befpeak an handfome dinner, and, as foon as " it was brought in, fend it immediately to the " andwhat do you infer from this gofliping tale ? *' That women are poor frail creatures, and do " not thoroughly know their own hearts ; but " frequently aft contrary to their beft-formed " refolutions ?" " Yes," fays Wildgoofe, " and we are all cc equally frail and impotent, without theaffift- u ance of the Divine Spirit. This Lady indeed ** feemed fenfible of her own weaknefs, by her "firft THE SPIRITUAL (^UIXQTE. 149 " firft refolution to avoid the very fight of a " man for the future ; for there is no fecurity, " but by guarding every avenue of the foul " againft the approach of our fpiritual adver- fary !" " I am afraid, however," fays Sir William, " there are as many inftances of frailty to be " met with in ours, as in that which is called " the fofter fex. The Lady, whom the Colo- " nel has mentioned, was guilty of a very com- " mon, and, I fuppofe, a very innocent frailty. " She buried one hufband, and married ano- " ther. But there has lately happened a very " {hocking inftance of frailty, or rather of an " irregular indulgence of the paflions, in one of " our fex ; the particulars of which (as I be- " lieve it was in his neighbourhood) Mr.Wild- " goofe perhaps may be able to inform us of: " I mean, the dreadful ftory of Sir W. K. who, " in a fit of jealoufy, as I have heard, burnt "himfelf and a magnificent houfe, which he " had built to pleafe the fancy of an imperious " Miftrefs, whom he kept j though he had " really been as fond of his own Lady, as the " Dowager (Colonel Rappee talks of) was of " her hufband." H 3 Wildgoofe I5O THE SPIRITUAL QJJIXOTE. Wildgoofe replied, " that the particulars of " that affair were known to all the neighbour- " hood in which he lived. But the cataftrophe