MacNally
Retaliation
THE LIBRARY
OF
THE UNIVERSITY
OF CALIFORNIA
LOS ANGELES
FREDERIC THOMAS BLANCHARD
ENDOWMENT FUND
RETALIATION,
FARCE.
[PRICE ONE SHILLING.]
35oofe i$ ente&fc at
, accortifng to act of
went
13, 1782.
RETALIATION,
. % A
FA R C E,
IN TWO ACTS,
As it is performed, with'univerfal Applaufe, at the
THEATRE ROYAL, COVENT GARDEN.
By LEONARD MAC NALLY,
THESECOND EDITION.
S. BLD/
. /
/
I
LONDON:
PRINTED FOR F. BLYTH, AND S
PATER-NOSTER-ROW
To the great exertions of the performer s y and the ex-
cellence of their theatrical abilities, the author
imputes the approbation with which RETALIATION
has been received by the public, and he thanks
them for the generous emulation with which they
fupported the piece*
.T O
THOMAS HARRIS, ESQ.
SIR,
TH E kind attention with which you
brought forward the following piece,
claims my moft warm and grateful thanks.
You will excufe me for taking this public
manner of afTuring you how fenfible I am
of the obligation ; and I hope you will be-
lieve me to be,
Your fincere humble fervant,
LEONARD MAC NALLY.
May 10, 178.2.
958181
PROLOGUE,
Spoken by Mr. LEE LEWES.
CJ~ RITE feems our Author's Tajk, when all Creation
Obey the Maxims of Retaliation.
'The old, the young, the rich, poor, great, and fmatt,
Are governed by retorting one and all.
Lord Dangle would intrigue to cut a Figure,
For 'Treachery makes your Folks of Rank look biggar
My Lady's Jtung, andfo, 'twixt Vice and Whim
Intrigues and thus retaliates en him.
Jane, was a Draper's Wife, and "Jane within her
Felt fir ong Temptation to become a Sinner ;
Not from Caprice nor Whim but mark th' Event i$
She^liK'd, and fcarce knew why the elder 'Prentice
The Hit/band hears, and curfing at the Slur,
Refolves to break his vow as 'well as her
So lifts his Maid to fill his Spcufe's Stqtion,
A ble/ed Infiance of Retaliation.
Nor yet to private Life confine this Notion,
It fpreads expanjive as the boundlefs Ocean :
Retaliate, fpeaks the hofiile Cannon's roar
Retaliate echo's from the Eritijh Shore
The Genius of the IJle is now awake,
Speaks like brave Ruffel, frowns like noble'Blake ;
Calls forth fuch Spirits, as of old we re known,
When England's King was crowned on Gallia'j Throne \
When Holland pray" 1 d to fuccour her, diftreft,
And Spanijh Pride had Jlruck her lofty Creft.
" Ifia'ryV fie. fays (< Jh all f mile, fell Difccrd ceafe,
" And War produce the Olive Branch of Peace.
" Britain fecure from all inteftih e Harms,
" // confident againji the W^orld in Arms.
" Now, Britifh Minds, with Britifh Hearts unite,
" Mature the Council, and direct the Fight :
" Again Jhall Britain mighty Deeds perform,
'' Ride on the Whirlwind, and direct the Storm;
PROLOGUE.
" Serenely bra<ve, /mile nubile the Thunder's burVd,
ft And undivided, face the threatening World"
To Strains fo bold our Author dare not rife
He views that Ardor glowing in your Eyes.
There needs no " Mufe of Fire" to roufe the Nation t
You're all united for Retaliation.
This, as a firft EJJTay, our Bard fubmits
To deal in Brokers, Bankrupts*, La-Myers, 'Cits
His Bales are clafs'd with his faft Skill and Cars-
His ardent Wijh is that you like his Ware
And Jince to pleafe you fills his ev'ry Feature,
Then pray retaliate with your beft Good-Nature.
Dramatis
Dramatis Perfonae.
OLD REBATE; Mr. Quick.
PR^ECIPE REBATE, - Mr. Edwin.
TRUE WAN, .. Mr. Wbitfcld.
FRANK, > Mr. Robfon.
EZEKIEL SPOTLESS, Mr. Jones.
SERVANT, Mf. Newton*
AMELIA; - Mrs. Mattocks*
I-w CY, " M's, Wilfon,
RETALIATION,
SCENE. A Hall in Mr. FAIRPORT'S
Houfe.
FRANK fitting reading a News-Paper^ Lucv work-
ing Bottle and Glaffes on the Table,
Frank. /~\ We are ruined, Lucy ! We art
\^J undone !
Lucy. Speak for yourfelf, Frank, heigho !
I am neither ruined nor undone.
Frank. Here's a paragraph confirms all (reads)
" We hear that a great houfe not one hundred
miles from Leadenhall-ftreet, flopped payment
yefterday for a confiderable fum.'" It mull be our
houfe !
Lucy. Yes, it muft be our houfe ; but pray,
Frank, who is this we, who pretends to know fo
much about mafter's affairs ?
Frank. Who is we ? Why in truth, Lucy, I
don't rightly know who we is -, but we is fomebody
who knows, or pretends to know, every body, and
B 2 every
12 RETALIATION.
every thing we ufed to abufe opposition we now
are come over with miniftry we writes agairUl
men on one fide, and we writes againft mealures
on the other we attacks majority in one paper,
and we cuts up minority in another we puffs
admirals and demireps we ridicules generals and
women of character we is an critic who tears
authors % to -pieces it is we who flrives to write
players out of their bread.
Lucy. Then is we an ill-natured, crabbed, un-
confcionable fellow I love play a&ors in my
heart they fay fo many good things I can't think
they do any thing bad.
Prank. As I Jive here comes Mr. Trueman
Lucy. And Mifs Amelia with him there will
be a match, Frank.
Enter TRUEMAN and AMELIA.
I'm. Your hand, honeft Frank the Weft-India
fleet's arrived !
Frank. Bravo !
Tru. And the homeward-bound Eaft-Indiamen
are all fafe in port.
'Frank. BravifTmo !
2>. And Mr. Fairport has traced the report of
our houfe's failure up to old Rebate, the money-
lender.
Amelia. What motive could have urged his
malice to fuch premeditated villainy ?
Tru. The word of motives, madam, refentment
and avarice your uncle refcued a diftrefled
young gentleman from his ufurious demands, and
is indebted to him eleven thoufand pounds.
Jlme. But what brings him here ?
Tru. Your uncle being denied to him in town,
he left a memorandum that he mould come here
to
RETALIATION. jj
to feek him ; and I am commifTicned to give the
rafcal an anfwer to one of the mod im-pudenc
propofals that ever infolence dictated.
' Ame. Pray what is it, Mr. True man ?
Lucy. Ah ! dear fir, what is it ?
Tru. No lefs than a written propofal of mar-
riage, between his fpn and your coufin Augufta
- (to Amelia.')
Lucy. O ! Mercy !
5Tru. Accompanied with a threat to lay on an.
execution immediately, in cafe of a refufal ; and a
difcharge in full of all demands, as a bribe, in
cafe of compliance.
Frank. I know Prascipe his fon well, fir he's as
precious a twig of the law as ever fwitched a client
through Weftminfter hall.
Ame. The old man knows, I fuppofe, that my
coufin's fortune is independent of her father
Lucy. But for Heaven's fake, fir, how did my
young lady receive the propofal ?
Tru. Laughed at it fhe is a generous-hearted
girl, and offered the whole of her fortune to fup-
port her father's credit.
Ame. This is city fentiment the uncourtlv
citizens, not only fpeak as they think, but act as
they fpeak.
2>#. And I wifti, madam, every other clafs of
men, would make their public actions the criterion
of their public profeffions. -Take care, Lucy, old
Rebate's a terrible fellow, tormented with as infa-
tiabie an appetite for young girls as for money
the monfter would devour a virgin every morn-
ing for breakfaft.
Frank. I remember when he was partner in a re-
gifter-office, for the purpofe of ruining young
creatures out of place.
Tru.
24 RETALIATION.
I'm. And though he'd impofe upon his neareft
friend to obtain money, he'd lavifh the earnings
of his avarice with prodigality to deftroy inno-
cence.
Ame. And (han't we be reveng'd on him ?
Suppofe I was to throw myfelf in his way, and fe*
duce him into an intrigue.
Tru. If you do, I'll take a part in the farce, and
we'll retaliate on him with a vengeance.
Lucy. And leave the young lawyer to me-r-ne-
ver fear, I'll bring him to the ftool of repen-
tance (knocking without. )
Frank. Perhaps here they come.
Ame. Then, I'll let them in, and give the anti-
quated Adonis a moft encouraging reception--.
Come, Mr. Trueman. (going.)
Frit. I attend you, madam.
Lucy. Strike him at once, madam, with a Ian-
fuiming look. (Exeunt Amelia and Trueman) La,
rank, there's a icheme in my head .but I'm
afhamed to tell you Well, I'll hide my face
(throws her apron over her face) Suppofe you were
to introduce me to the young attorney as my
lady.
Frank. An excellent thought, my fprightly girl !
run and communicate it to Mr. Trueman and
tylifs Amelia But I muft have a kifs. (ki/esber.)
Enter REBATE.
Reb. To her ! to her ! Hey ! hey ! Egad, tho* the
circulation of cam has flopped here, the circulation
qf the blood flows in a warm tide of wantonnefs.
(Exit. Lucy, Rehatc viewing her through a glafs) Neac
limbed rilender waifted elaftic in her feet* with
a noble protuberance in front, and a moft entic-
ing rotunda in the rear ; no cork; or whalebone in
her compofition, I warrant. Your fervant, young
man,
RETALIATION. *$
man, your fervant Pray who is the elegant young
lady who gave me admittance ?
Frank. I fuppofe it was Mifs Amelia, fir, my
matter's niece I thought you knew her.
Rcb. No, I'm unacquainted with the females of
your family. She is really a charming girl, with a
pair of as piercing, fparkling rogueim eyes, as ever
fported in amorous glance A good fortune, I fup-
pofe ?
Frank. Not a fhilling, fir ; Mifs Amelia is de-
pendent on nay mafter.
Rely. Poor girl a delicious morfel ! but muft
now feek for a new prote&or. Your maf-
ter's broke, young man Have you feen the pub-
lic prints ?
Frank, The public prints, fir there*s no believ-
ing the public prints \ It was but the other day
the General Advertifer made the combined fleets
fixty-fix fail of the line the Courant encreafed
them to eighty fail the Poft anchored them in Nu~
libus the Herald wind-bound them in Breft har-
bour the Gazetteer loft them in a fog the Pub-
lic Advertifer brought them into Plymouth Sound
the Chronicle fent them to the Land's-end, and
the Ledger affured us they were not mips, but
fixty whales, which had made the coaft, and that
the exprefs had been brought up to London-
Bridge by Lieutenant Grampus.
Rebate. Ah! ha! ha! ha! You're a wag but
there's no joke in the lofs of the Eaft and Weft-
India mips You're matter's ruined by it, and I
have his bond for eleven thoufand,
Enter
i6 RETALIATION,
Enter PR^ECIPE.
Pr<ecipe. On which I have advifed you repeat-'
edly, that you may take out a fi. fa. ad fatisfa-
cienduin for ic is laid down in Viner's Abridgement
of the Law, volume the thirty-fixth, page one
thoufand and feventy nine, letter A", that >
Rebate. Silence, I fay, (flopping Prxcipe's
mcuth.)
Pr*cipe.. You Ihould never command filence,
but with an oyez ! oyez! oyez ! (in a court crier's
tone.)
Rebate. O ! confound your tongue -its your
mother's to an inch I'll cut it out, you dog.
Pr<ecipe. Cut out my tongue ! mayhemdeath,
by the Coventry act.
Frank. But do you think, Sir, we fhall be de-
clared bankrupt ?
Rebate. I hope not , for as your bankrupt com-
mifiion bufmefs falls into the hands of the lawyers,
it generally cOnfumes the beft part of the effects.
Pr<cipe. Actionable words let me fee to call
a lawyer ambodexter, or double handed, is
Rebate. Calling him by his right name, you
rafcal.
Enter Servant.
Servant. Mr. Trueman Sir, my matter's clerk,
requefts your company in the parlor.
Rebate. Mr. Trueman, my bufmefs is with j^ur
mafter, not with .his clerk , and in his prefent in-
digent circumftances, it was his duty to have at-
tended me but I'll follow you. (Exit fervant.)
You live in fplendor here, young man, (to Frank)
a noble houie magnificent furniture Heavens !
what luxury ! The Augfburgh merchant, who lent
half a million to an emperor on his bond, and
after-
.RETALIATION. 17
afterwards, at an entertainment, burned his fecu-
rity in a fire of cinnamon, had not a more fuperb
dwelling. Mercy ! What a fide-board of plate !
[Exit.
Prxcipe. My walk down here, as a body may-
fay, has created me a voracious appetite- but I
never travel without belly munition (takes out bread
and meat) and yet, as the faying is, I'm thin as
parchment.
Frank. And it being as necefiary to moiften the
clay, as to manure the foil what think you, Sir,
of a glafs of nice Madeira ?
Prtfripe. A good motion for {laying- -as my
Matter Stripclient fays, it's all the fame to me,
whether I drink at the fuit of the plaintiff, or at
the fuit of the defendant.
Frank. (Bringing a bottle from the table) Here's
Madeira has croffed the Line twice, bright as a
topaz, (filling a glafs) and generous as an old maid
on the day of marriage,
Pr^cipe. Marriage that's in point T am come
down, do you fee me, to marry Mifs Fairport ;
that is, to file a declaration of love, over-rule
her demurrer, and fo join iffue.
Frank. You have feen her, I fuppofe ?
Prtecipe. No, never faw her.
Frank. Why me left the room juft as you came
in.
Prtdpe. Is that fhc ? Egad, fhe's a fine girl,
and faluced me with a moft condefcending frhile.
Frank. Lucy, 1 fee, has begun the attack, (afide.)
Another glafs Mr. Prsecipe, you're a man of
gallantry no doubt.
Pr^cife. I plead guilty to the indictment
Keep as fmart a piece as you'd lay eye on in a
whole circuit,
C frank.
.i8 RETALIATION.
.Frank. And live pleafantly. (helping him.)
Prtcipe. In a funny ftile, as a body may lay
Poll lodges at Iflington, fo I travel down to her
every Saturday afternoon take tea with Poll,
fpend my evening at the Angel Next morning
rife from Poll, fvvallow rum and milk at the
Angel breakfaft with Poll, take my whet and
jill at the Angel Dine with Poll, fpend my after-
noon at the Angel Take tea with Poll, fpend my
evening at the Angel Sup with Poll, take my
Punch at the Angel So on Monday morning,
leave Poll betimes, take the ftage at the Angel,
' and am at chambers by eight.
Frank. Really, Sir, between Mifs Poll and the
Angel, you lead a devilifn angelic life But I fear,
Mr. Prascipe, there is a fatal objection to your
marrying Mifs Fairport.
Pr^cife. You mean my connection with Poll ;
but I can foon get rid ot her, and provide for her
into the bargain Mark a writ againtt her, move her
by Habeas Corpus into the King's Bench, and there,
though wives are not permitted to live with their
hufbands, a demirep may make a fortune.
Frank. You mifUke my young lady's objection
(he has vowed never to marry a lawyer.
Prxcipe. Aye !
Frank. True indeed But if you're not afraid of
a frolic, I'll put you in a way of carrying her; .
Pr<ccips. Afraid ! Never fear me, I love a frolic
in my heart ; neverthelefs, and always providing,
that the faid frolic is not contrary to law- Caveat
afior^ do you understand me, is my msxim.
Frank. Then your father mufl not know a word
of the bufinefs.
Pr^cipe. Right we'll ouft him from the fuit,
and then he'll have no concern in the fortune.
Enter
RETALIATION. 19
Enter SERVANT.
Servant. A Quaker-man, Mr. Frank, defires to
fpeak with Mr. Rebate, or his fon.
Prtecipe. Shew him in. I know his bulinefs.
[Exit Servant.
Frank. I'll (lep into the next room and lay out
a cold venifon-pafty, and if you're the man of
fpirit I take you for, Mifs Fairport and her fortune
will be both your own. [Exit.
Prjcipe. I'll be with you in a twinkling, as the
faying is
Enter EZEKIEL.
Ah friend Ezekiel Spotlefs, welcome from Am-
fterdam What news? Eh.
Ezekiel. There's no time to fpeak of news I
have a large fum to pay unto thy fatker.
Prjcipe. Or to me It is the fame in law, friend
Ezekiel, whether you pay the attorney, or the prin-
cipal.
Ezekiel. True, true, friend Prsecipe, but that
is where the attorney hath a principle. The
clerk informed me at thy houfe of thy coming
here But where's thy father.
Pr<ccipc. My father why my father O my
father's gone a little farther into the country with
the gentleman of the houfe.
Ezekiel. Then will I deliver the monies to thee,
being obliged to go for Oftend this night, having
collectexl ibme material intelligence. Here read
(delivers a Utter to Prjcipe.)
Prxcipe. (reads) Signed *' Primiiive Tribula-
tion" dated " Amilerdam, March 26 1782" Friend
C 2 Rebate,
o RETALIATION.
Rebate, I take the opportunity of the bearer, Eze-
kiel Spotlefs, to inrorm thee, that the copper and
gunpowder, configned by thee unto my care, on
board the good {hip Contraband from Corke, ar-
rived in due time, and, according to thy diFections,
I remit unto thee the amount of the fales thereof,
in Bank of England notes, which I found difficult
to procure here. The bearer will alfo deliver un-
to thy hands the diamonds, which I advifed thee
of, fome time ago, and which thou art to difpole
of for my account. Thy Friend.
EzekieL Here are the notes, and here are the
fdiamonds Sign this receipt (Pr*ripe figns} fare-
jvell, peace be to thy ipirit. [Exif.
Pracipe. Here are the notes here are the
diamonds, (looking at them) and pofTefiion, as the
faying is, is the eleventh point of the law The
devil a milling (hall my honeft father ever touch
of thefe bills And the devil a milling fhall his
honeft correspondent. Tribulation, ever touch of
the produce of thefe diamonds, (looks at them) He,
lie, he, egad, there's more argument in the brilli-
ancy of their fparkle, than in the tongues of the
whole bar, and they mail be my counfel with
Mifs Fairport This letter will keep my father fi-
lent- high treafon to correfpond with the enemy -
but this is lofmg time, and I long to be up to the
elbows in the yenifon-pafty.
[Exit looking at the diamonds.
RETALIATION. <n
SCENE. A Chamber.
Enter REBATE and TRUEMAN.
Rebate. And fo, this young lady, this Mifs
Amelia, Mr Fairport's niece, is entirely depen-
dant on his bounty.
Trueman. Yes, poor lady j her father, on his re-
turn from India, died at Amfterdam , he had eon-
verted his effects into diamonds, but it could never
be difcovered what became of them.
Rebate. No.
Trueman. No, Sir But there is a flrong fufpi-
cion that they were ftolen by a Quaker, at whofc
houfe he lodged.
Rebate. Aye Thefe diamonds muft be the very
fame of which Primitive Tribulation has advifed
me (afide) So you fay her fortune was in dia-
monds well, wejl but to the bufmefs I'm come
upon I am ready to fettle your matter's affairs,
if he agrees to marry his daughter to my fon.
Trueman. And if not, you are ready to feize upon
his effects.
Rebate. I am ready to fecure my property, young
man will he accede to my propofal, he can have
no doubt upon my fufficiency, he knows me to be
a good man.
Trueman. A good man, Sir Yes, yon are a good
man, Sir, and I wifh many whom I know to be
goo.d men, in money tranfacYtons, were gopd men
in the difcharge of every other moral obligation.
Rebate. I don ? t comprehend you, young man.
Trueman. Then I'll be explicit, old gentleman-r
What good does your boafted goodnefs arife from
Is it from tranfading bufmefs with the neceffi-
tous.
22 RETALIATION.
tous, upon fuch terms of hardmip, as cramp every
effort of induftry ? is it from advancing money
on the jointures of diftrefied widows the com-
miffions of reduced officers and the livings of
poor clergymen ?
Rebate. Eh.
ftuevia'n. Do you confider yourfelf a good man,
becaufe you can make good bargains ? or is it be-
caufe you can laugh with good humour at every
man's diftrefs ? I have known the enormous
wealth of fuch good men, who while living never
did a generous action, bequeathed at the hour of
death to build an hofpital, wherein the poor have
languished for want of common neceilaries, while
the ftewards and domeftics have feafted and fat-
tened upon the revenues.
Rebate. Do you forget I have your matter's
bond for eleven thoufand, and could overwhelm
him with ruin ?
True-Man. I tell you, Sir, Mr'. Fairport rejects
your propofal with contempt What would the
world fay, mould a Britilh merchant act with fuch
difhonor.
Relate. Diflionor ! Why, man, there is no fuch
thing as difhonor in a tranfaction of traffic , this is
the golden age, in which every thing is bought and
fold.
True-men. But conference, Mr. Rebate confci-
ence the eltimate of juftice me is a judge whole
admonitions are not to be filenced, and rectitude
alone can fave us from the poignancy cf her
flings.
Relate. Confcience may be a judge for aught I
know ; but eleven thoufand pounds would effectu-
ally filence her accufations many a judge has
held his tongue for half the money But I mall
wair.
RETALIATION. 23
wait to lee your matter, young man, fo will take
a turn in the garden, and, no doubt, will find the
elegance of his improvements equal to the mag-
nificence of his manfion.
Trueman. Sir, your fervant.
Rebate. Your mod obedient fweet-fcented Sir
(Exit Trueman) What an impudent moralizing
rafcal this fellow is not one of your cloven-tongued
gentry, with one tongue for his public, and another
tongue for his private principles he fhould have
been bred to the church But how am I to act ?
intereil and pafilon poflefs me This Amelia mo-
nopolizes my mind Let me confider-, her father
died at Amfterdam in the houfe of a Quaker aye,
it's plain my correfpondent, Tribulation, was the
plunderer of his diamonds, and thefe diamonds he
was to confign to me for fale the uncle's ruined,
and could I perfuade the niece to come under my
protection, this would turn out an Argonaut ex-
pedition, and I mould have the meeting of a
golden fleece Let me fee (Mufing)
Enter LUCY.
Lucy. So ! here he is Have at you, old rogue
Hem ! hem !
Rebate. (Turning about fuddenly.) Ah ! ha ! my
girl (Takes Lucy's hand.) Egad, you are all beauties
in this houfc.
Lucy. Beauties, Sir Mifs Amelia, my mallei's
niece, is beautiful indeed.
Rebate. And a witty rogue, I dare fay.
Lucy. A fool, your honor , for I have heard her
fay, fhe'd prefer an old man to a young one.
Rebate. You joke, hufieyj you joke.
Lucy,
24 RETALIATION.
Lucy. Not I indeed, Sir Then fometimes fhe's
half mad.
Relate. Foolifh and infane ! Both in my fa-
vour. \_Afide.
Lucy. Then to be fare, Sir, as me is foolilh and
maddim, if Ihe was to marry an old gentleman,
now fuppofe fuch a healthy old gentleman as you,
Sir, he /might lock her up, you know, to preserve
her frota young gallants.
Rebate. Egad you're a wit, my girl.
Lucy. Who I ? No, indeed, your honor I am
but young, foolifh, and flighty myfelf ; yet I think
if a huiband was to lock me up, to preferve my
virtue, i*d be tempted to turn fo troublefome a
companion out of my company. But as I was
going to fay, I do think Mifs Amelia has as deli-
cate a (hape as any lady in England.
Rebate. So Ihe has, fo fhe has, you baggage,
and as inticing a look. Could you now contrive
to introduce me to this foolifli, half-mad Amelia ?
Eh.
Lucy. La, Sir, if I was found out in fuch &
bufinefs, it would for ev^r ruin my reputation.
Rebate. But it would get you money, huffey
and thofe who have money are above reputation,
or what would become of parties in mm. con. ?
Za*ry.'Then, your honor, my confcience.
Rebate. Confcience.! Why confcience, child, is
expelled from both ends of the town, or we mould
not get an enemy's fhip infured for love or money ;
the whole fyftem of ftock-jobbing would be over-
turned ; the lottery offices might put out their
lamps, and the deluded people would no longer be
led to deftrucYion by authorized jack-a-lanterns.
Lucy, But my honefty*
Rebate*
RETALIATION. 25
Rebate. Honefty ! Honefly, my lamb, is a ma-
terial drawback on pleafure and profit. Thofe
who never deviate from the paths of honefty, move
like fnails through the world ; they leave a mining
track behind, but make a very flow progrefs in
the road to preferment.
Lucy. But what right have you to expeft I mould
be your friend with the lady ? (Holding out her hand
and rubbing the palm.}
Rebate. When I have given you nothing. Eh !
Well, well ; here, here's a retainer for you. (Gives
her money.)
Lucy. O dear, your honor (Holding up the money
and looking at it.) I fee the matter now quite in a
new light.
Rebate. And don't let me find you one of thofe
voluble advocates who fay a great deal to little
purpofe, or one of thofe tacit pleaders who pockec
their clients fee, and fay nothing.
Lucy. Well, Sir, ftep into the parlour on the left
fide of the hall, I'll attend you immediately, and
will render you every fervice in my power (Going)
but, Sir, remember now you muft be very fecret
There's no lover a woman admires fo much as a
fecret one.
Rebate. Secret ! never fear me, I'm filent as an
air gun, which does execution wichout making
a report But before you go, egad, I muft have
Lucy, (curtfeying and wiping her mouth) A kifs,
your honor (kifs) O dear! dear! I fee you'll
carry the lady.
Rebate. Well, I'll wait in the parlor and fee,
find out my fon, and tell him I defire he may re-
turn to London Kow fweet the little hufley kifles !
nothing fo renovating to age, as the breath of a.
young female its more vivifying than the per-
D fumes
*6 RETALIATION.
fumes of the Spice Iflands, or the odoriferous
breezes of Arabia Felix. [Exit,
Lucy. Oh ! here come the lovers (retires)
Enter AMELIA **/ TRUEMAN.'
Amelia. .Nay, prithee peace now furely this is
no time to fpeak of love.
Lucy, (coming forward and ft anting 'between item)
Indeed, Ma'am, but it is the prcicnt time is al-
ways the bed to fpeak of love, and 1 know the cap-
tair. '.o - you in his foul.
Trueman. The captain ! Lucy What captain ?
Lucy. What captain but yourfelf -are you noc
in the military 'fociation ? Well I never thought the
'fociators would grow fo (lout Indeed, Madam,
they fhoot cannons (Looking at Amelia) O how Mr,
Trueman lovesyou ! don't blufh, Ma'am " Would
Ihe but marry me, my dear Lucy" laid he, when he
gave me this ring " If I had but the good fortune
to gain her conient" (Looking at Trueman) La',
don't look fo fheepifh, Mr. 'I rueman Now I'd
kave 'nothing to Fortune.
'Tfiieman, You are right, Lucy, Fortune's a gay
coquttt, and neglects the loldier or lover, Who de-
pends too much upon her Imiies. My dear Amelia,
will you give me an anfwer ?
Amelia. An anfwer You have'nt afked me the
tion.
Lucy. Lord ! Lord ! M.i'am, can you look in his
face and fay fo ? are r; .-L his tyes twinkling out
this v.-ry mllant, will you marry me, will you mar-
r me Tike her hand, Mr, Trueman i (lie told
aie thievery day you had he, heart.
Amelia. And I faid true {gives her hand) but
you mult procure my uncle's conient. I have ever
found
RETALIATION. 27
found in him the attention and affection of a fa-
ther, and am bound to obey him from gratitude,
as well as duty.
True-nan. My dear Amelia, I admire your can-
dor When a woman approves the honcft addrefies
of a man who loves her, fure there can be no in-
delicacy in confefling that flic's Icnfible of his paf-
fion.
Lucy. O ! O I O ! there's no (landing this ten-
der fcene may, may, .may heaven blefs you
both ! (fobbing)
Enter FRANK.
Frank. I'm as full of intelligence as an Extraor-
dinary Gazette !
Trueman. P*ay don't be a Gazette on the occa-
fion, let us have the whole truth.
Frank. 1 have left Matter Prascipe in the pantry,
where he gormandizes with the appetite of a cor-
morant, and drinks like a fifh. I have fully per-
fuaded him that Lucy is your coufin Augufta,
and (hall prefently introduce him to an interview
with her, quite in a new character.
Lucy. The old gentleman has fwallowed every
thing I've told him, and believes yu, Ma'am, to
be a half witted kind of a flighty hair-brained gen-
tlewoman his paffion has made a fool of him,
and as this is a trial of (kill between Frank and me,
I'll try if I can't get him to take up a new charac-
ter, as well as his ton.
frueman. Why, Lucy, you're a perfect miftrefs
of intrigue.
Lucy. I lived two years at a French board ing-fchool,
Si r befides, women were always better negotia-
tors than men ; and were half a dozen bride girls
D 2, like
28 RETALIATION.
like me, fent out commiffioners to America, we'd
foon fettle bufinefs with the Congrefs.
'Trueman. I have no doubt of your ability.
Lucy. Doubt, Sir La! I wifh we haoV the
fettling of the Irifli affairs.
Amelia. Come, let us retire to our feveral du-
ties.
Lucy. 1*11 go prepare the old man.
Frank. And I the young one.
Trw/nan. And never fear, they fhall both have
a furfeit of amours. [Exeunt,
A C T
RETALIATION. 29
AC T II.
SCENE. A Dreffing-room, a Table,
Drtffing-GlaJs, and Chair*
j/r REBATE, andL,vcY 3 carrying an uniform Juit.
Lucy. "\7'OUR fon, Sir, is gone to town, and
JL fo is Mr. Trueman j and my matter
has fent word he won't be here this evening, and
I've put all the fervants out of the way ; and fo
we'll have a clear coaffc to ourfelves.
Reb. Well, well, that's right, my girl, that's
right But, Lucy, I can fcarcely credit what you
tell me of Amelia's difpofition,
Lucy. Indeed, Sir, it is true; (he loves the
army above all things, and will fometimes fpeak
for an hour together, particularly in the full of
the moon, Sir, about battles, and foldiers, and
cutting of throats. Here are Mr. Trueman's
'fbciation regimentals pay your addreffes to her
in them, Sir, and you'll carry the day.
Reb. Then leave them on the chair, and as
there's no one in the houfe to fee me play the
fool with this mad girl, egad I'll e'en attack her
a la mi lit air e.
Lucy. And while you're drefTing, I'll prepare
your mitlrefs to receive you (Going, Jhe returns)
But remember, you are to perfuade Mifs Amelia,
that you've loved her a long time, and that hear-
ing of her uncle's failure, you're come to offer
her your heart and fortune. [Exit.
Reb. Foolilh and infane as this young lady
may be, i: is rather extraordinary that fhc fliould
prefer
30 RETALIATION.
prefer age to youth, (takes off his coat) As to her
liking foldiers better than men of any other profef-
fion, that's common your green-girls bite as
voracioufly at a red rag as mackarel. (takes off
bis waijlcoat) But what fhould become of me,
if in her madnefs fhe fhould take a fudden aver-
fion to fcarlet, and fly at me like a turkey-
cock ? (puts on the uniform ivaiftcoat) I cannot
think fhe has preference for old men {puts on the
coat, and looks in the glafs) yet why not ? Love
is a capricious pafilon, and not always the con-
fequence of beauty or afiiduity - Thisdrefs really
becomes me (looks in the glafs) and I have
known one lucky moment often produce, what
years of felicitation, rivers of tears, and ftorms
of fighs, could never bring about. (Puts on the
helmet)
Enter Lucy.
Lucy. La, Sir ! You are quite the thing ! I
have prepared Mifs Amelia, and indeed O !
Ihe looks charming.
Reb. But have you been feeling the pulfe of
her affections, how do they beat ? Eh, Lucy
eh, eh (fazing Lucy's hand)
Lucy. Mercy, Sir, let go my hand La, Sir,
why are you fo warm ?
Reb. Warm ! I'm all fire ! irritation, like
rubbing a dry flick, fets me in ablaze! Let
us be going (.)
Lucy. Yes, Sir, but remember you muft ufe
her gently fhe's of a mild, religious difpo-
firion.
Reb. Religious ! That's fuel to my fire No
pleaftire gives fuch exquifite fatis faction to
a man of gallantry, as ruining a devotee \0fidc)
But how do I look, Lucy ? eh !
Lncy
R E T A L I A T I O NT. 31
Lucy. Look ! your honour looks killingly
{walks round him) Thefe light-horfemen are fo
finart about the head, fo fpurred upon the heel,
wear their cloaths fo neat to their fliapes, and
have their fkirts fo trimmed to their hips, they
.dways appear ready for aclion, like fo many-
game-cocks cat out of feather for fighting BUT
your cheeks are not half re<l, Sir (brings a box
from the toilet and paints him) And your eye-
brows mtifl be blackened {brings another box
and blackens his eye-brows) Now, your honour,
you've a noble foldierly appearance.
Reb. Thefe fwingeing eye-brows give me too
fierce a countenance but then they fet off a
fmile (grins in the glafs)
Lucy. Good-day, how amiable you look 1 Btft
you muft hold up your head thus (puts tip his
head) And wear your helmet over your left eye
thus (Jetties his helmet) And keep your arms
thus (Jetties his arms) And I muft tighten your
ftock. (tightens his ftcck.)
Reb. Zounds! Lucy, you'll ftrangle me !
Lucy. Never fear, your honour A foldict
fliould always wear his ftock tight enough to
force a colour into his face a tight ftock is a fol-
dier's dram You fee the guards appear as ruddy
in the face, and as ftiff in the Ihoulders as if they
had been exercifed in a pillory You muft turn
out your toes (turns out his toes with her feet)
Keep your breaft full out thus (Bends bivi
back) March thus (takes him under the arm and
marches) To the right about (they face the au-
*dience) Aye, now you appear perfectly at cafe.
Reb. At eaie ! Egad, my mufcles are cracking
with exquifuc torture. But 1 like this maique-
rading, it feafons an amour to the higheit go -.'if,
and is the very fpice, the poignant fauce of: an
intrigue I lhall reward you liberally !
LU.CJ.
32 RETALIATION.
Lucy. And I fha'n'toppofe your honour's libe-
rality to be proof againft a bribe, would fhew
a vulgar education
Reb. True And perfons of the firft rank ars
rewarded under the head of fecret fervice. But
here (gives her a purfe) You have no more
fcruples now, I hope, about confcience, honour,
and honefty.
Lucy. No indeed, your honour, they are
your's, you have bought them, and may difpofe
of them as you think proper.
Reb. Then I'll give them to thofe who want
them Honour to the Gamblers Confcience
to the Methodifts and Honefty to the Jews.
Lucy. Nay, your honour, keep a little of
each for us poor chriftians.
Reb. Egad, my girl, I fee you're no novice.
Lucy. A novice at eighteen ! No no, we
have more experience at that age in London,
than country girls at twenty-five. City rofes
blow apace, and it's generally fummer with us,
before it fhould be fpring 1 fhot my firft arrow
at fixteen, hit my man, and he turning falfe, I
have ever fince carried two firings to my bow-
But it's time, colonel, I (hould introduce you.
Reb. Lead on, I follow (?'bey marcb off,
Lucy humming a marcb.)
Enter PR^CIPZ and FRANK.
(P R RECIPE In an old faflmned naval uniform end
bat, ajword, Jlick, and black patch on one eye.)
Frank. This uniform fits you exactly, Sir, I
borrowed it from an old fea officer in the neigh-
bourhood You really look as br.ave, and fea-
inan-like, as if you were one of the Admirals in
Weft-
RETALIATION. 33
Weftminfter Abbey, dcfcended from his monu-
ment.
Pr<ccipe. I wifh fome of them had defcended,
they have been wanting Mafter Frank But I
object to this black patch on my eye, it brings
me under Itatute ninth of George the firft, chap-
ter twenty-fecond, which makes it felony with-
out clergy to go with the face difguifed.
Frank. That aft muft have loft its force, Sir,
or what would become of the painted beauties
of London ? %
Pr<cipe. Then, as a body may lay, I am only
a feaman by fiction j but ihe law fays, fictions are
beneficial But then, fays the law again, no fiction
fhall work an injury. Very well, there can be
no injury in my marrying a woman of fortune.
Frank. True, Sir.
Pr^cipe. Let us moot the cafeIn fiction fub-
fifts equity and juftice, fay the books then will
I marry Mifs Fairport in the equity of fiction,
and afterwards be happy.
Frank. In reality, Sir ?
Prrtcipe. If not happy, we can feparate by
fiction I'll ftate you a cafe in point A brings
his action of crim. con. againft B -, now though the
caufe of action had been tranfacted in the moft
loving manner between B, and the wife of A,
yet muft A ftate in his declaration, that the faid
B did wickedly and maliciouflv, with force and
arms, that is to fay, with fticks, clubs, ftaves,
fwords, guns, and other offcnfive weapons, fc-
duce and et extern, the wife of the faid A
Do you underftand me ?
Frank. Perfectly.
Prtfcipe. But this is not all for though A
and wife had lived together, like cat and dog,
as the faying is, yet muft A aver, that B deprived
E him
# RETALIATION.
him of all % worldly comfort. Oh, Matter
Frank, many a good fortune has been made by
the fiftion of trim, con. but now a plaintiff can
icarce recover zjhilling.
Frank. And is .this law, Sir ?
Pr*. Yes, it is law, but nothing to what they do
at the Admiralty, where the whole ocean's brought
upon dry land It was but the. other day a pirate
was tried for felonioufly robbing the good fhip
St. Jofeph, on the high feas, four leagues off
Cape St. Vincent, in the county of Norfolk.
Frank. Now you joke indeed, Mr. Prascipe !
Pr'<cipe. Joke ! The devil a joke ! Why man
it has been proved to the fatisfadion of the ci-
vilians and the bar, that the Thirteen Colonies
of America are fituate in, and part of the county
of Kent. ,
Frank. I think I hear Mifs Fairport's foot
coming down flairs.
Pracipe. Then I'm off You.'ll break the ice
for me
Frank. Never fear She's a good creature,
and as familiar with me as if I was her fellow-
fervant.
Pr<ecipe. But won't it feem odd if I don't
court her myfelf ? .
Frank. Bkfs me ! r-no it's quite fafhionable to
make love by proxy.
Pnecipe. Well then, be my amicys curt*, and I'll
take another glafs or two a man (hould always
appear full of ipirits before his miftrefs.
[Exeunt P recipe.
Enter LUCY, laughing.
Lucy. Ha, ha, ha, I've had a peep at my fwain,
and he looks as tremendous as the head of a
Dutch (hip
Frank
RETALIATION. 35
Frank. Formidable as he looks, Lucy, if you
regard your own intereft you'll make your fortune
of him I fay marry him, marry him !
Lucy. Marry him !
Fran. Yes you (hall marry him I fay you mall
marry him Mr.Trueman fays you (hall marry him
and Mifs Amelia fays you (ball marry him
Come, no denial, I have fcnt to town for a fpecial
licence and the Curate will be here prefently to
tack you together.
Lucy. La Frank ! why the fellow's a fool.
Frank. No fuch thing; the gentleman has wit.
Lucy. In his cups drinking is of the fame ufe
to his brain, as travelling to a blockhead ; it
heightens his impertinence, and transforms him
from a drowfy fool into a prating coxcomb.
Frank. Or, it improves his underftanding as
bottling improves ftnall beer, which then becomes
brifk without growing ftronger.
Lucy. And you infift on my marrying him ?
Frank. I do
Lucy. Then (hall you be my father on the oc-
cafion ; and fee, Frank I'll learn French and
cotillions, and dance perhaps with an Alderman,
at a Lord Mayor's ball. Then I'll pretend to be
half blind, and" fpy at the play-actors through my
glafs (imitating) and I'll walk as if I wanted the
ufe of my limbs (imitating) and fpeak fo nice, that
no one fhall underfland me. (imitating.)
Frank. Nay, but this is lofmg time, Lucy.
Lucy. And I'll blacken my eye-brows, pinkify
my hair, rouge my cheeks, and pearl powder my
neck Then I'll flaunt every fummer at the re-
views in the artillery ground, and go up the river
every autumn a (wan hopping, (running off.)
Frank. A brave girl, taitbj come I'll bring you
to your lover, and make the bcft ufe of your time.
2 [Extent.
3 6 RETALIATION.
SCENE. A Clamber, AMELIA and REBATE
dif covered fitting en afofa.
Reb. Ha ! ha ! ha ! Egad, madam you are a
perfect foldier, and have given me as accurate a
description of a camp, as I could have given my-
fclf who have feen fervice.
Ame. S<;en fervice ! to me, fir, you appear a
veteran, worn out in the lervice ; but are yon
reslly a colonel ? Colonels are in general fo young,
and fubalterns fo old, that from your age I took
you to be a lieutenant.
Reb. We were fpeaking of the qualities necef-
fary to form a commander, madam.
- Ame. True, I was going to communicate to you
a receipt for making commanders-, I had it from
a learned phyfician, who though not diploma'd
from a Univerfuy to kill by the regular rules of
art
Reb. Is a licenfed quack, I fuppofe, madam,
and murders under the authority of letters pa-
tent.
Ame. A cefiation of wit, and liften to my re-
ceipt, fir. Take ten drops of Marlborough fpiiit
one ounre flower of Ligonier two drams pow-
der of Granby one fcruple of Wolfe's laurel, and
a fingle grain of Cumberland oak bark ; let thefe
ingredients be put in a brafs mortar, mix them up
with oil of Andre, marine effence of Farmer and
alkaline fait of Pierfon, and they'll produce an in-
ipiring draught, of fufficient power to infuie a
courageous foul into the moft inanimate body.
Rcb. Why, madam you are a perfect political
Efculapius !
Ame. Yes, colonel, and our new (late phyficians
have ordered my prefcription to be taken in large
dofcs by every commander at fea and land.
Rcb.
RETALIATION. 37
Reb. Let us return to my fuit, fair creature
your uncle is undone you have no friend , puc
yourfclf unifer my proteftion, and we'll live
Ane. (rlfing fuddenly ) In the country ! For I am
enraptured with the Iports of the field, and glory
in the pleafures of the chace Not a fortnight
fince I rode a day's fport after twenty couple of
hounds, ftaunch tartars as ever yelp'd or run a
drag took a flying leap acrofs a flream dafhed
thro' two quickfets, and leaped three five bar
gates,
Reb. Aye!
Ame. We unkennelled Reynard before eight,
had a view hollow by ten Tallee ho, ho ho ho
hoick forward wind him, the villain, wind him.
At eleven he took the water, we plunged after
croffcd the Thames at twelve the whole pack
clofe in with him, you could cover them with a
ftieet, and we killed him exactly at nineteen mi-
nutes three feconds after one.
Reb. Why, madam, you're not only an Ama-
zon, but a Diana.
Ame. Then I can moot fitting or flying kill a
trout or falmon with a fingle hair bit a horfe for
the field, break him in for the carriage {launch a
pointer, and underftand the odds and chances at
horfe- racing, cards, hazard, pafs-dice, Pharoahand
E O, as well as any black-leg of the turf, or
judge in the (land at Newmarket.
Reb. Egad, madam, all the amiable qualities
of a modern high-blooded fine lady feem to be
centered in you.
Ame. Dear Colonel you don't know half In
driving a photon I'll back my fkill againft any ti-
tled or urititled female in the kingdom, and am
ready to lay you three to two, play or pay, that I
drive four hunters from London to Bath, without
once
S 8 RETALIATION.
once lofing the whip-hand of the road, and turn
them on the breadth of a {hilling's edge.
Reb. Why ! you're an Olympic charioteer, ma-
dam.
Ame. And I fay done firft.
(knocking? Amelia goes to the door.)
Reb. It will do it will do raye, aye, (he's half
mad, and when wearied of her I'll foon find a
doftor mall make her compleatly fo. (afide)
Enter FRANK, (Rebate conceals bis face with his bat.)
Frank. News ! madam, news ! I bring news
will delight your ear, and charm your heart: Mr.
Trueman is returned from town, and brings word,
that the Weft India fleet's arrived, that the Eaft
Indiamen are in port^ but, madam, he is here,
and there, and every where, foaming with rage,
and roaring out horrid vengeance againil old Re-
bate.
Reb. O ! Mercy ! I'm loft, (afide.)
Ame. Do you know that old villain. Rebate,
Colonel ?
Reb. No, madam, I'm acquainted with no old
villains, (in an under voice.)
Frank. And one of the fervants, madam, has
told Mr. Truemair^hat this officer's with you, and
he's mad jealous, (goes up to Rebate) Lord your
honour, I would not be in your coat for. a thoufand
pounds , fo to prevent two murders, I'll feek old
Rebate, and get him out of the way. [Exit.
Amelia. I'll lock myfelf up ,in this clofet.
Reb. And I'll follow you
Ame. Not for the world you muft ftay here and
defend me.
Frank, (within) Sir Sir you can't come in
here -
Tru.
RETALIATION. 39
5r.- (within) Frank, I will have entrance -
Ame. Mercy here he comes !
(retires into the clofet, andjhuts the door.)
Reb. So I'm to be affaffinated ! is there no
place of retreat ? (looking about.)
Frank, (within} Put up your fword, dear fir.
Ame. (looking out of the clofet} Infift upon righting
him with piftols, colonel j at fwor'ds, its nothing
with him, but ha, ha, ha, and he whips his antago-
nift, quart over the arm, through the lungs.
Reb. Quart over the- arm, and through the
lungs ! with a ha 1 O my lungs ! (coughs) what
will become of me ?
Ame. (looking out) And, Colonel, don't fight him
with his own piftols, with them he can ftrike the
fpot out of an ace of diamonds, or kill a fwallow
flying with a fingle ball, (/huts the door)
Reb. Kill a fwallow flying then if he kills
me it mall be flying.
Enter TRUEMAN with two /words.
Tru. They are of one length, fir, take your
choice ; (prefenting the fwords) you have injured
me in the tendereft point, injured me in my love
knowing I was a citizen, you prefumed I would
not refent an affront from a foldier ; but I will con-
vince you, fir, that in this country, a foldier and
a citizen are one character.
Reb. Sir, (hiding his face with his hat.)
frit. Sir -
Reb. Sir ^hem fir Having unfortunately re-
ceived a wound in this arm I hem hem I I
cannot hold a fword. (diftorting his ann.)
ru. Then, fir, take your choice of thcfe (pro-
ducing a cafe of piftols.) they are Tower-proof, and
kill point-blank at thirty yards,
Reb.
40 R E T A L 1 A T I O Isf.
Reb, I am an old man I've been ufed to fight
for my countrymen not againft them
(going towards the door.)
'fru. (intercepting kirn} If you have not ipiric to
meet a man, how dare you face a woman.--*-
Heavens; what a figure ! withered like a winter
apple (Rebate walks^ Trueman follows him, ft ill keep-
ing him from the door) mrivelled and decayed like
an autumnal pear weak and bowed down by in-
firmities a living hofpital of old diforders a
martyr to difeafes, cramps, aches, pains, fpafms,
agues, contractions, rheums, and paroxyfrns.
Reb. I know of nothing that ails me but a little
cough (coughs) pray let me pals, (bowing.)
7>. Are you not taped, fnliced, fpiced, and
glewed together like an Egyptian mummy ?
(Relate walking^ 'Trueman following*}
Reb. (Bowing very lew) What you pleafc what
you pleafe.
<Tru. Are you not a burden to yourfelf, a nui-
fance to your acquaintance, an evil example to
youth, and a fcandal to old age ?
Reb. A nuifance ! then pray let me remove the
nuifance. (going}
<Tru. Get home, purchafe flannel, and engage a
nurfe to fwaddle you. But if I ever catch you again
poaching on this ground, I'll mow you no more
mercy than a country juftice (hews a peafant who
kills partridgeI'll truis you up as warreners
trufs up kites, a horrid fcarecrow to birds of prey.
[Exit.
Reb. Trufs me up ! O you damned villain.
(very loud and tkreatning with his hand] Yes, rafcal !
If ever you catch me here again, you may trufs me
up, and quarter me into the bargain O plague on
this lobfter's mell ! (tearing open his caat] I ihall be
the
RETALIATION. 41
the laughing (lock of the whole town. But foftly,
let me lee, he miftakes me for an officer ; fo I'll
leek Lucy, change my cloaths, and make my ef-
cape to town. O woman ! woman ! you make
idiots of the. \vifeft and oldeft of us Why can't
I fhake off this paffion for the fex ? Surely ! fure-
ly ! the greateft curfe under heaven is to be afflict-
ed with an appetite we can neither fatisfy nor get
rid of. [Exit..
Enter Lucy, with PR^CIPE, intoxicated.
Lucy. And fo you've deceived me ? I have mar-
ried an attorney and not a captain ?
Pr<e. There's no difference' I tell you between
tjiem. I've a cafe in point Styles, verfus Nokes
on the Game Laws. John a Nokes was indicted by
Tom a Styles for having a hare in his poflefiion.
Nokes gave in evidence that the hare was killed
in his garden by a hog, and the judge would have
non-prols'd Styles, had not a learned ferjeant ar-
gued contra, that the garne laws were not made
againft hogs, nor made againft dogs, but were
made againft perfons having game in their poffef-
fion, and therefore quo ad hoc a hog was a dog, and
a dog was a hog
Lucy. What ! would you make a hog or a dog
of me ?
Pr<c. No -no 1 am only proving, do you
fee rae, that as captains and attornies have the fame
end in marrying, fo in our cafe, as in the cafe of
the hog and the dog, cteteris paribus, with a quo ad,
hoc, an attorney is a captain and a captain is an
attorney,
Lucy. But my father, I fear, will be dreadfully
angry
Pr<e. Never mind your father -, your fortune is in
your own poflefiion your father never afked your
to marry, and why fhould you afk his ?
41 RETALIATION.
But here my dear Augufta Fairport alias Au-
gufta Rebate alias my love alias my charmer
I endow you with thefe diamonds, and bank;
notes (gives the cajkets and pocket book] and take
care of this letter; it contains evidence to.
hang my father, if he mould take exceptions;
Enter FRANK.
Lucy: Well Mr. Frank, we have made up every-
thing, and we have determined to fport a vis a vis
of the brimftone, and a tim whifkey of the em-
peror's eye.
Pr<ecipe. Yes ; we will have a vis and a timmy,
and never be without wine in the cellar, and cplci
meat in the pantry and now I am married,
I'll drink (fings.)
*' Drink and fet your heart at rcft>
64 Of a bad bargain make the bejl."
Frank. Bravo, Sir. But, Madam, it is time
you mould introduce the old gentleman, Mr.
Prascipe's prepared, I hope.
Lucy. Yes, yes, I have inftrucled him. Well,
adieu ! Heigh-ho \ [Exif*
Pr<cipe. Adieu ! Heigh-ho ! your hand honeit
Frank I have been drinking mod devoutly
toafting on my knees, drinking and courting and
fmo^king and killing- and every thing goes,
round. (Sings.)
" Round the world thus we march with merry glee.'*
You (hall always be welcome to victuals and drink
at our houfe I play as merry a knife and fork as
an overleer of the poor. (Sings.)
^ the roaji beef of Old England,
" O the old Englijh roajt I'eef"
Frank. Remember you are to pafs upon your
father as lieutenant of a man of war, fpeak loud,
difguife your voice, and flourifb your flick.
RETALIATION. 4$
Pr#cipe. Never fear me. Then I have been
Drinking, as my fchool-rhafter ufcd to fay, gram-
maticallydrinking through the tenfes-^-drinking
I ike a camel, for the time paft, the time prefenc,
and the time to come.. (Sings.)
" fill me a bowl^ a mighty boiv! t
" Large as my capacious fwL"
Enter LUCY.
Lucy. Here comes the old gentleman raving with
anger *Myn -we, Hand you here.
Enttf R EB ATE, f in a rage.)
Rebate. My cloaths gone^O fool ! fool ! {beat's
bis bead )
Frank. (Taking Rebate afide.) Keep your tem-
per, colonel ; here's a lieutenant of the ndvy as
furious as a hurricane, and unrelenting as a great
gun he is your rival too, and half drunk.
Rebate. (Stamping.) O blockhead, blockhead,
blockhead.
Prxape. Blockhead ! Let him keep a civil
tongue or I'll make him (kip it was me he called
blockhead, {drawing bis banger.)
Lucy. Indeed, lieutenant, it is not you the co-
lonel calls blockhead begin begin, (pujbing Pr<c-
tipe.)
Lucy. Noble lieutenant, don't draw blood here,
Frank. The fellow muft be a coward by his
noife fuppofe you put his mettle to the proof.
(Afide to Rebate.)
Rebate. I fee you don't know me, Frank
O fhame! Ihame' I am Old Rebate.
Frank. (Affecting fa-prize.) Blefs me! Mr. Re-
bate.
Pr&cipt. Let me at him, I fay, (pretending Jo
flrnggle with Lucy.)
Rebate. Protect me from that bloody-minded fca^
monfter here, here, (gives money.)
44 RETALIATION.
Frank. Keep up your fpirits, Sir, and I will.
[Exit.
Prxcipe. See, old codger, if pafTion has kicked
up a riot in your brain, you had bed call in your
prudence as a conftable to keep the peace.
Rebate. You really miltake me, noble lieu-
tenant, (bowing.)
Pr<cipe. That won't do >you fhan't get at the
blind fide of me I have but one eye, 'tis true ; but
it's an eye \vould frighten me French, the Dutch
and the Spaniards *it's a Hawke'sQ-*y damn me,
it's a Hawked eye it's a Hawke's eye.
Enter FRANK with a blunderbufs, which he gives to
REBATE.
Frank. (A/Me.) Here, Sir, now defend your-
fclf, it's charged up to the muzzle with fwan mot.
Prtecipe. Fire and ttorms.
Rebate. (Kneeling and prefent ing the blunderbufs. )
Out of the way and let me pafs, or I'll make a
riddle of your carcafe.
Pnecipe. (Turning fuddenty about , falls . ) Murder!
mercy ! fpare me j (pul/s off bis hat and black patch,)
confider, dear father, ir you fire, though you
Ihould mifs me, the very intention is death by the
black ad.
Rebate. My gracelefs Ion in confpiracy against
me ! O you unnatural villain I-^-But here comes
another tormcnter, (fill kneeling.)
Enter T R u E M A N . He ftands between REBATE arid
Trueman. What s colonel! I thought you had
Jeft i ic houfe.
Pr<ecipe. I'll make affidavit he's no more a co-
lonel than 1 am.
Trueman. And vho are you, Sir?
Pracipe Praccipe Rebate, at your fervice
fparc me, and hereafter I'll live an honeft attorney <
RETALIATION. 45
Lucy. Live 'an honcft attorney \ No, no, my
love, you flian't live an original character.
Truemsw. Which deferves chattifement mod,
the father or Ton ? (looks at them alternately.} You
are equally dcferving-, for I know of none who
merit feverer punifhment than thole who afiume
his majeflyV livery, and put on the infignia of a
foldier, without pofTcfiing that dignity, honor
and courage, which are efiential to a military cha-
racter.
Lucy. And heaven knows, Sir, there are plenty
of fuch uncommiffioned coxcombs about town.
But pray rife, your honor, (to Rebate] this is ho-
nefl Mr. Rebate, equipt in your 'fociation uni-
form.
Pr<ecipe. Caught with the manor that is to fay,
with the property upon you (to bis father.)
Pracipe. But fee, 1 have done my bufmefs without
your affiftance. I have married Mifs Fairport (puts
his hand under Lucy's arm) here me Hands ; her for-
tune's mine, I am her baron^ fhe's my feme, and
under my coverture.
Lucy. It is true, indeed, Sir, I am your daughter,
but not Mifs Fairport ; and as to fortune, mine
lies in a deal-box.
Prsecipe.' So I have ftultified myfelf in open,
court But father I'm hot an old fool and we
have money enough, and diamonds too and give
me your hand, bone of my bone.
Lucy, (to Prtccipe) In marriage you know a
captain's an attorney, and an attorney's a captain-
So by the lame rule a gentlewoman's a waking
maid, and a waiting maid a gentlewoman.
Prtecipe. A clear cafe, c^teris paribus y with a
quo ad hoc.
Enter
46 RETALIATION.
Enter AMELIA.
Amelia. My dear Mr. Trueman, read this
letter.
Lucy. Which I received from my fpoufe.
Trusman. 'Here is evidence or' the blacked crime
can be committed by a fubjedb againft his king and
country giving luccour to their enemies.
Praclpe. High-treafon ! as I always told you
father uhen you quoted the Dutch as a precedent'
for having, when at war, fold powder and ball to
the enemy to pepper t^ieir own carcaies.
Trueman. Mr. Rebate This letter is directed
to you, Sir, and from its contents, I have reafon to
conclude, that the diamonds you have received
from Amilerdam, are the property of this lady.
Debate. Diamonds!
Amelia. Yes Sir, diamonds This letter is cer-
tainly written by the Quaker, at whole houfe my
father lodged.
Rebate. (Locking at tie letter) O ! I fhall run
mad.
Lucy. Here are the diamonds, Madam (deliver-
ing the cafe)
Rebate. And did you, idio% give a receipt for
thofe monies and diamonds in my name? (to Pr<c~
cipe)
Pracipe. I am an Englifhman, and not bound
to anfwer perfonal interrogatories.
Rebate. I'll hang you for the forgery, you dog.
Prtfcipe. I defy your indictment I acted as
your lawful attorney ; or if I had not, a Quaker
is your only witnefs ; and your Quakers are fo
confcientious, they would let the worit of rogues
efcape, fooner than take an oath.
Rebate. Oh ! you rafcal ^Peter the Great was
right, when having but two lawyers in his domi-
nions, he hung one as an example to the other.
RETALIATION. 47
pr<ftipe. You may abufe the law, father; but
we fhould not have impofing lawyers, if there were
not litigious clients.
Lucy. (Standing on his left hand.} Remember
yowr advice to me, " be afhamed of nothing,
* f ,ucy, but being poor che rich are above
< c fhame."
Amelia. (Standing on Ms right hand ) And re-
member, that the credit of a merchant, like the
virtue of a woman, or the courage of a foldier, is
his point of honor-, and that as no recompenfe can
fatisfy the lofs of credit, no punifhment is too fe-
vere for the villain who dares to traduce it.
Rebate. I'll flay no longer I'll convert all my
effects into cafh, arid fly to Holland, where every
man who has money may be fure of prote5Hon.
[*#.
Prtccipe. Wait for your cloaths, father -my
wife mall recover your fuit *'
frueman. What we have experienced will, I
hope, teach us this moral that while virtue guides
our pafilons, happinefs is the certain confluence,
and that mifery is ever the refult of fubmitting to
vicious habits. May every Briton bring thcfe pre-
cepts into practice and may every Briton alfo re-
member, that as the credit, the wealth, the ftrength,
the dignity of the Britifh empire flow from com-
merce, to fupport and extend commerce is the in-
{Jjipcnfible duty of every BritiCh fubject. [Exeunt.
wr
THE END,
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY
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RECLAIMS OF IRELAND^
JL and the RESOLUTIONS of the VOLUNTEERS vindicated,
on the Principles of Seiden, Sidney, Locke, Kooke, Sir
William Temple, Chatham, Cambden, Rockingham, gf-
ngham, Fox, Burke, *Shelburne, &c.
And bfejPp*Z end them." SHAKES.-
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