MacNally 
 Retaliation
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
 FREDERIC THOMAS BLANCHARD 
 ENDOWMENT FUND
 
 RETALIATION, 
 
 FARCE. 
 
 [PRICE ONE SHILLING.]
 
 35oofe i$ ente&fc at 
 , accortifng to act of 
 went 
 
 13, 1782.
 
 RETALIATION, 
 
 . % A 
 
 FA R C E, 
 
 IN TWO ACTS, 
 
 As it is performed, with'univerfal Applaufe, at the 
 THEATRE ROYAL, COVENT GARDEN. 
 
 By LEONARD MAC NALLY, 
 
 THESECOND EDITION. 
 
 S. BLD/ 
 . / 
 
 / 
 
 I 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 PRINTED FOR F. BLYTH, AND S 
 PATER-NOSTER-ROW
 
 To the great exertions of the performer s y and the ex- 
 cellence of their theatrical abilities, the author 
 imputes the approbation with which RETALIATION 
 has been received by the public, and he thanks 
 them for the generous emulation with which they 
 fupported the piece*
 
 .T O 
 
 THOMAS HARRIS, ESQ. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 TH E kind attention with which you 
 brought forward the following piece, 
 claims my moft warm and grateful thanks. 
 You will excufe me for taking this public 
 manner of afTuring you how fenfible I am 
 of the obligation ; and I hope you will be- 
 lieve me to be, 
 
 Your fincere humble fervant, 
 LEONARD MAC NALLY. 
 
 May 10, 178.2. 
 
 958181
 
 PROLOGUE, 
 
 Spoken by Mr. LEE LEWES. 
 
 CJ~ RITE feems our Author's Tajk, when all Creation 
 
 Obey the Maxims of Retaliation. 
 
 'The old, the young, the rich, poor, great, and fmatt, 
 Are governed by retorting one and all. 
 
 Lord Dangle would intrigue to cut a Figure, 
 For 'Treachery makes your Folks of Rank look biggar 
 My Lady's Jtung, andfo, 'twixt Vice and Whim 
 Intrigues and thus retaliates en him. 
 
 Jane, was a Draper's Wife, and "Jane within her 
 Felt fir ong Temptation to become a Sinner ; 
 Not from Caprice nor Whim but mark th' Event i$ 
 She^liK'd, and fcarce knew why the elder 'Prentice 
 The Hit/band hears, and curfing at the Slur, 
 Refolves to break his vow as 'well as her 
 So lifts his Maid to fill his Spcufe's Stqtion, 
 A ble/ed Infiance of Retaliation. 
 
 Nor yet to private Life confine this Notion, 
 It fpreads expanjive as the boundlefs Ocean : 
 Retaliate, fpeaks the hofiile Cannon's roar 
 Retaliate echo's from the Eritijh Shore 
 The Genius of the IJle is now awake, 
 Speaks like brave Ruffel, frowns like noble'Blake ; 
 Calls forth fuch Spirits, as of old we re known, 
 When England's King was crowned on Gallia'j Throne \ 
 When Holland pray" 1 d to fuccour her, diftreft, 
 And Spanijh Pride had Jlruck her lofty Creft. 
 " Ifia'ryV fie. fays (< Jh all f mile, fell Difccrd ceafe, 
 " And War produce the Olive Branch of Peace. 
 " Britain fecure from all inteftih e Harms, 
 " // confident againji the W^orld in Arms. 
 " Now, Britifh Minds, with Britifh Hearts unite, 
 " Mature the Council, and direct the Fight : 
 " Again Jhall Britain mighty Deeds perform, 
 '' Ride on the Whirlwind, and direct the Storm;
 
 PROLOGUE. 
 
 " Serenely bra<ve, /mile nubile the Thunder's burVd, 
 ft And undivided, face the threatening World" 
 
 To Strains fo bold our Author dare not rife 
 He views that Ardor glowing in your Eyes. 
 There needs no " Mufe of Fire" to roufe the Nation t 
 You're all united for Retaliation. 
 
 This, as a firft EJJTay, our Bard fubmits 
 To deal in Brokers, Bankrupts*, La-Myers, 'Cits 
 His Bales are clafs'd with his faft Skill and Cars- 
 His ardent Wijh is that you like his Ware 
 And Jince to pleafe you fills his ev'ry Feature, 
 Then pray retaliate with your beft Good-Nature. 
 
 Dramatis
 
 Dramatis Perfonae. 
 
 OLD REBATE; Mr. Quick. 
 
 PR^ECIPE REBATE, - Mr. Edwin. 
 TRUE WAN, .. Mr. Wbitfcld. 
 
 FRANK, > Mr. Robfon. 
 
 EZEKIEL SPOTLESS, Mr. Jones. 
 
 SERVANT, Mf. Newton* 
 
 AMELIA; - Mrs. Mattocks* 
 
 I-w CY, " M's, Wilfon,
 
 RETALIATION, 
 
 SCENE. A Hall in Mr. FAIRPORT'S 
 Houfe. 
 
 FRANK fitting reading a News-Paper^ Lucv work- 
 ing Bottle and Glaffes on the Table, 
 
 Frank. /~\ We are ruined, Lucy ! We art 
 \^J undone ! 
 
 Lucy. Speak for yourfelf, Frank, heigho ! 
 I am neither ruined nor undone. 
 
 Frank. Here's a paragraph confirms all (reads) 
 " We hear that a great houfe not one hundred 
 miles from Leadenhall-ftreet, flopped payment 
 yefterday for a confiderable fum.'" It mull be our 
 houfe ! 
 
 Lucy. Yes, it muft be our houfe ; but pray, 
 Frank, who is this we, who pretends to know fo 
 much about mafter's affairs ? 
 
 Frank. Who is we ? Why in truth, Lucy, I 
 
 don't rightly know who we is -, but we is fomebody 
 
 who knows, or pretends to know, every body, and 
 
 B 2 every
 
 12 RETALIATION. 
 
 every thing we ufed to abufe opposition we now 
 are come over with miniftry we writes agairUl 
 men on one fide, and we writes againft mealures 
 on the other we attacks majority in one paper, 
 and we cuts up minority in another we puffs 
 admirals and demireps we ridicules generals and 
 women of character we is an critic who tears 
 authors % to -pieces it is we who flrives to write 
 players out of their bread. 
 
 Lucy. Then is we an ill-natured, crabbed, un- 
 confcionable fellow I love play a&ors in my 
 heart they fay fo many good things I can't think 
 they do any thing bad. 
 
 Prank. As I Jive here comes Mr. Trueman 
 Lucy. And Mifs Amelia with him there will 
 be a match, Frank. 
 
 Enter TRUEMAN and AMELIA. 
 
 I'm. Your hand, honeft Frank the Weft-India 
 fleet's arrived ! 
 
 Frank. Bravo ! 
 
 Tru. And the homeward-bound Eaft-Indiamen 
 are all fafe in port. 
 
 'Frank. BravifTmo ! 
 
 2>. And Mr. Fairport has traced the report of 
 our houfe's failure up to old Rebate, the money- 
 lender. 
 
 Amelia. What motive could have urged his 
 malice to fuch premeditated villainy ? 
 
 Tru. The word of motives, madam, refentment 
 and avarice your uncle refcued a diftrefled 
 young gentleman from his ufurious demands, and 
 is indebted to him eleven thoufand pounds. 
 
 Jlme. But what brings him here ? 
 
 Tru. Your uncle being denied to him in town, 
 he left a memorandum that he mould come here 
 
 to
 
 RETALIATION. jj 
 
 to feek him ; and I am commifTicned to give the 
 rafcal an anfwer to one of the mod im-pudenc 
 propofals that ever infolence dictated. 
 ' Ame. Pray what is it, Mr. True man ? 
 
 Lucy. Ah ! dear fir, what is it ? 
 
 Tru. No lefs than a written propofal of mar- 
 riage, between his fpn and your coufin Augufta 
 
 - (to Amelia.') 
 
 Lucy. O ! Mercy ! 
 
 5Tru. Accompanied with a threat to lay on an. 
 execution immediately, in cafe of a refufal ; and a 
 difcharge in full of all demands, as a bribe, in 
 cafe of compliance. 
 
 Frank. I know Prascipe his fon well, fir he's as 
 precious a twig of the law as ever fwitched a client 
 through Weftminfter hall. 
 
 Ame. The old man knows, I fuppofe, that my 
 coufin's fortune is independent of her father 
 
 Lucy. But for Heaven's fake, fir, how did my 
 young lady receive the propofal ? 
 
 Tru. Laughed at it fhe is a generous-hearted 
 girl, and offered the whole of her fortune to fup- 
 port her father's credit. 
 
 Ame. This is city fentiment the uncourtlv 
 citizens, not only fpeak as they think, but act as 
 they fpeak. 
 
 2>#. And I wifti, madam, every other clafs of 
 men, would make their public actions the criterion 
 of their public profeffions. -Take care, Lucy, old 
 Rebate's a terrible fellow, tormented with as infa- 
 tiabie an appetite for young girls as for money 
 the monfter would devour a virgin every morn- 
 ing for breakfaft. 
 
 Frank. I remember when he was partner in a re- 
 gifter-office, for the purpofe of ruining young 
 creatures out of place. 
 
 Tru.
 
 24 RETALIATION. 
 
 I'm. And though he'd impofe upon his neareft 
 friend to obtain money, he'd lavifh the earnings 
 of his avarice with prodigality to deftroy inno- 
 cence. 
 
 Ame. And (han't we be reveng'd on him ? 
 Suppofe I was to throw myfelf in his way, and fe* 
 duce him into an intrigue. 
 
 Tru. If you do, I'll take a part in the farce, and 
 we'll retaliate on him with a vengeance. 
 
 Lucy. And leave the young lawyer to me-r-ne- 
 ver fear, I'll bring him to the ftool of repen- 
 tance (knocking without. ) 
 
 Frank. Perhaps here they come. 
 
 Ame. Then, I'll let them in, and give the anti- 
 quated Adonis a moft encouraging reception--. 
 Come, Mr. Trueman. (going.) 
 
 Frit. I attend you, madam. 
 
 Lucy. Strike him at once, madam, with a Ian- 
 
 fuiming look. (Exeunt Amelia and Trueman) La, 
 rank, there's a icheme in my head .but I'm 
 afhamed to tell you Well, I'll hide my face 
 (throws her apron over her face) Suppofe you were 
 to introduce me to the young attorney as my 
 lady. 
 
 Frank. An excellent thought, my fprightly girl ! 
 run and communicate it to Mr. Trueman and 
 tylifs Amelia But I muft have a kifs. (ki/esber.) 
 
 Enter REBATE. 
 
 Reb. To her ! to her ! Hey ! hey ! Egad, tho* the 
 circulation of cam has flopped here, the circulation 
 qf the blood flows in a warm tide of wantonnefs. 
 (Exit. Lucy, Rehatc viewing her through a glafs) Neac 
 limbed rilender waifted elaftic in her feet* with 
 a noble protuberance in front, and a moft entic- 
 ing rotunda in the rear ; no cork; or whalebone in 
 her compofition, I warrant. Your fervant, young 
 
 man,
 
 RETALIATION. *$ 
 
 man, your fervant Pray who is the elegant young 
 lady who gave me admittance ? 
 
 Frank. I fuppofe it was Mifs Amelia, fir, my 
 matter's niece I thought you knew her. 
 
 Rcb. No, I'm unacquainted with the females of 
 your family. She is really a charming girl, with a 
 pair of as piercing, fparkling rogueim eyes, as ever 
 fported in amorous glance A good fortune, I fup- 
 pofe ? 
 
 Frank. Not a fhilling, fir ; Mifs Amelia is de- 
 pendent on nay mafter. 
 
 Rely. Poor girl a delicious morfel ! but muft 
 now feek for a new prote&or. Your maf- 
 ter's broke, young man Have you feen the pub- 
 lic prints ? 
 
 Frank, The public prints, fir there*s no believ- 
 ing the public prints \ It was but the other day 
 the General Advertifer made the combined fleets 
 fixty-fix fail of the line the Courant encreafed 
 them to eighty fail the Poft anchored them in Nu~ 
 libus the Herald wind-bound them in Breft har- 
 bour the Gazetteer loft them in a fog the Pub- 
 lic Advertifer brought them into Plymouth Sound 
 the Chronicle fent them to the Land's-end, and 
 the Ledger affured us they were not mips, but 
 fixty whales, which had made the coaft, and that 
 the exprefs had been brought up to London- 
 Bridge by Lieutenant Grampus. 
 
 Rebate. Ah! ha! ha! ha! You're a wag but 
 there's no joke in the lofs of the Eaft and Weft- 
 India mips You're matter's ruined by it, and I 
 have his bond for eleven thoufand, 
 
 Enter
 
 i6 RETALIATION, 
 
 Enter PR^ECIPE. 
 
 Pr<ecipe. On which I have advifed you repeat-' 
 edly, that you may take out a fi. fa. ad fatisfa- 
 cienduin for ic is laid down in Viner's Abridgement 
 of the Law, volume the thirty-fixth, page one 
 thoufand and feventy nine, letter A", that > 
 
 Rebate. Silence, I fay, (flopping Prxcipe's 
 mcuth.) 
 
 Pr*cipe.. You Ihould never command filence, 
 but with an oyez ! oyez! oyez ! (in a court crier's 
 tone.) 
 
 Rebate. O ! confound your tongue -its your 
 mother's to an inch I'll cut it out, you dog. 
 
 Pr<ecipe. Cut out my tongue ! mayhemdeath, 
 by the Coventry act. 
 
 Frank. But do you think, Sir, we fhall be de- 
 clared bankrupt ? 
 
 Rebate. I hope not , for as your bankrupt com- 
 mifiion bufmefs falls into the hands of the lawyers, 
 it generally cOnfumes the beft part of the effects. 
 
 Pr<cipe. Actionable words let me fee to call 
 a lawyer ambodexter, or double handed, is 
 
 Rebate. Calling him by his right name, you 
 rafcal. 
 
 Enter Servant. 
 
 Servant. Mr. Trueman Sir, my matter's clerk, 
 requefts your company in the parlor. 
 
 Rebate. Mr. Trueman, my bufmefs is with j^ur 
 mafter, not with .his clerk , and in his prefent in- 
 digent circumftances, it was his duty to have at- 
 tended me but I'll follow you. (Exit fervant.) 
 You live in fplendor here, young man, (to Frank) 
 a noble houie magnificent furniture Heavens ! 
 what luxury ! The Augfburgh merchant, who lent 
 half a million to an emperor on his bond, and 
 
 after-
 
 .RETALIATION. 17 
 
 afterwards, at an entertainment, burned his fecu- 
 rity in a fire of cinnamon, had not a more fuperb 
 dwelling. Mercy ! What a fide-board of plate ! 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 Prxcipe. My walk down here, as a body may- 
 fay, has created me a voracious appetite- but I 
 never travel without belly munition (takes out bread 
 and meat) and yet, as the faying is, I'm thin as 
 parchment. 
 
 Frank. And it being as necefiary to moiften the 
 clay, as to manure the foil what think you, Sir, 
 of a glafs of nice Madeira ? 
 
 Prtfripe. A good motion for {laying- -as my 
 Matter Stripclient fays, it's all the fame to me, 
 whether I drink at the fuit of the plaintiff, or at 
 the fuit of the defendant. 
 
 Frank. (Bringing a bottle from the table) Here's 
 Madeira has croffed the Line twice, bright as a 
 topaz, (filling a glafs) and generous as an old maid 
 on the day of marriage, 
 
 Pr^cipe. Marriage that's in point T am come 
 down, do you fee me, to marry Mifs Fairport ; 
 that is, to file a declaration of love, over-rule 
 her demurrer, and fo join iffue. 
 
 Frank. You have feen her, I fuppofe ? 
 
 Prtecipe. No, never faw her. 
 
 Frank. Why me left the room juft as you came 
 in. 
 
 Prtdpe. Is that fhc ? Egad, fhe's a fine girl, 
 and faluced me with a moft condefcending frhile. 
 
 Frank. Lucy, 1 fee, has begun the attack, (afide.) 
 Another glafs Mr. Prsecipe, you're a man of 
 gallantry no doubt. 
 
 Pr^cife. I plead guilty to the indictment 
 Keep as fmart a piece as you'd lay eye on in a 
 whole circuit, 
 
 C frank.
 
 .i8 RETALIATION. 
 
 .Frank. And live pleafantly. (helping him.) 
 
 Prtcipe. In a funny ftile, as a body may lay 
 Poll lodges at Iflington, fo I travel down to her 
 every Saturday afternoon take tea with Poll, 
 fpend my evening at the Angel Next morning 
 rife from Poll, fvvallow rum and milk at the 
 Angel breakfaft with Poll, take my whet and 
 jill at the Angel Dine with Poll, fpend my after- 
 noon at the Angel Take tea with Poll, fpend my 
 
 evening at the Angel Sup with Poll, take my 
 
 Punch at the Angel So on Monday morning, 
 leave Poll betimes, take the ftage at the Angel, 
 ' and am at chambers by eight. 
 
 Frank. Really, Sir, between Mifs Poll and the 
 Angel, you lead a devilifn angelic life But I fear, 
 Mr. Prascipe, there is a fatal objection to your 
 marrying Mifs Fairport. 
 
 Pr^cife. You mean my connection with Poll ; 
 but I can foon get rid ot her, and provide for her 
 into the bargain Mark a writ againtt her, move her 
 by Habeas Corpus into the King's Bench, and there, 
 though wives are not permitted to live with their 
 hufbands, a demirep may make a fortune. 
 
 Frank. You mifUke my young lady's objection 
 (he has vowed never to marry a lawyer. 
 
 Prxcipe. Aye ! 
 
 Frank. True indeed But if you're not afraid of 
 a frolic, I'll put you in a way of carrying her; . 
 
 Pr<ccips. Afraid ! Never fear me, I love a frolic 
 in my heart ; neverthelefs, and always providing, 
 that the faid frolic is not contrary to law- Caveat 
 afior^ do you understand me, is my msxim. 
 
 Frank. Then your father mufl not know a word 
 of the bufinefs. 
 
 Pr^cipe. Right we'll ouft him from the fuit, 
 and then he'll have no concern in the fortune. 
 
 Enter
 
 RETALIATION. 19 
 
 Enter SERVANT. 
 
 Servant. A Quaker-man, Mr. Frank, defires to 
 fpeak with Mr. Rebate, or his fon. 
 
 Prtecipe. Shew him in. I know his bulinefs. 
 
 [Exit Servant. 
 
 Frank. I'll (lep into the next room and lay out 
 a cold venifon-pafty, and if you're the man of 
 fpirit I take you for, Mifs Fairport and her fortune 
 will be both your own. [Exit. 
 
 Prjcipe. I'll be with you in a twinkling, as the 
 faying is 
 
 Enter EZEKIEL. 
 
 Ah friend Ezekiel Spotlefs, welcome from Am- 
 fterdam What news? Eh. 
 
 Ezekiel. There's no time to fpeak of news I 
 have a large fum to pay unto thy fatker. 
 
 Prjcipe. Or to me It is the fame in law, friend 
 Ezekiel, whether you pay the attorney, or the prin- 
 cipal. 
 
 Ezekiel. True, true, friend Prsecipe, but that 
 is where the attorney hath a principle. The 
 clerk informed me at thy houfe of thy coming 
 here But where's thy father. 
 
 Pr<ccipc. My father why my father O my 
 father's gone a little farther into the country with 
 the gentleman of the houfe. 
 
 Ezekiel. Then will I deliver the monies to thee, 
 being obliged to go for Oftend this night, having 
 collectexl ibme material intelligence. Here read 
 (delivers a Utter to Prjcipe.) 
 
 Prxcipe. (reads) Signed *' Primiiive Tribula- 
 tion" dated " Amilerdam, March 26 1782" Friend 
 C 2 Rebate,
 
 o RETALIATION. 
 
 Rebate, I take the opportunity of the bearer, Eze- 
 kiel Spotlefs, to inrorm thee, that the copper and 
 gunpowder, configned by thee unto my care, on 
 board the good {hip Contraband from Corke, ar- 
 rived in due time, and, according to thy diFections, 
 I remit unto thee the amount of the fales thereof, 
 in Bank of England notes, which I found difficult 
 to procure here. The bearer will alfo deliver un- 
 to thy hands the diamonds, which I advifed thee 
 of, fome time ago, and which thou art to difpole 
 of for my account. Thy Friend. 
 EzekieL Here are the notes, and here are the 
 fdiamonds Sign this receipt (Pr*ripe figns} fare- 
 jvell, peace be to thy ipirit. [Exif. 
 
 Pracipe. Here are the notes here are the 
 diamonds, (looking at them) and pofTefiion, as the 
 faying is, is the eleventh point of the law The 
 devil a milling (hall my honeft father ever touch 
 of thefe bills And the devil a milling fhall his 
 honeft correspondent. Tribulation, ever touch of 
 the produce of thefe diamonds, (looks at them) He, 
 lie, he, egad, there's more argument in the brilli- 
 ancy of their fparkle, than in the tongues of the 
 whole bar, and they mail be my counfel with 
 Mifs Fairport This letter will keep my father fi- 
 lent- high treafon to correfpond with the enemy - 
 but this is lofmg time, and I long to be up to the 
 elbows in the yenifon-pafty. 
 
 [Exit looking at the diamonds.
 
 RETALIATION. <n 
 
 SCENE. A Chamber. 
 Enter REBATE and TRUEMAN. 
 
 Rebate. And fo, this young lady, this Mifs 
 Amelia, Mr Fairport's niece, is entirely depen- 
 dant on his bounty. 
 
 Trueman. Yes, poor lady j her father, on his re- 
 turn from India, died at Amfterdam , he had eon- 
 verted his effects into diamonds, but it could never 
 be difcovered what became of them. 
 
 Rebate. No. 
 
 Trueman. No, Sir But there is a flrong fufpi- 
 cion that they were ftolen by a Quaker, at whofc 
 houfe he lodged. 
 
 Rebate. Aye Thefe diamonds muft be the very 
 fame of which Primitive Tribulation has advifed 
 me (afide) So you fay her fortune was in dia- 
 monds well, wejl but to the bufmefs I'm come 
 upon I am ready to fettle your matter's affairs, 
 if he agrees to marry his daughter to my fon. 
 
 Trueman. And if not, you are ready to feize upon 
 his effects. 
 
 Rebate. I am ready to fecure my property, young 
 man will he accede to my propofal, he can have 
 no doubt upon my fufficiency, he knows me to be 
 a good man. 
 
 Trueman. A good man, Sir Yes, yon are a good 
 man, Sir, and I wifh many whom I know to be 
 goo.d men, in money tranfacYtons, were gopd men 
 in the difcharge of every other moral obligation. 
 
 Rebate. I don ? t comprehend you, young man. 
 
 Trueman. Then I'll be explicit, old gentleman-r 
 What good does your boafted goodnefs arife from 
 Is it from tranfading bufmefs with the neceffi- 
 
 tous.
 
 22 RETALIATION. 
 
 tous, upon fuch terms of hardmip, as cramp every 
 effort of induftry ? is it from advancing money 
 on the jointures of diftrefied widows the com- 
 miffions of reduced officers and the livings of 
 poor clergymen ? 
 
 Rebate. Eh. 
 
 ftuevia'n. Do you confider yourfelf a good man, 
 becaufe you can make good bargains ? or is it be- 
 caufe you can laugh with good humour at every 
 man's diftrefs ? I have known the enormous 
 wealth of fuch good men, who while living never 
 did a generous action, bequeathed at the hour of 
 death to build an hofpital, wherein the poor have 
 languished for want of common neceilaries, while 
 the ftewards and domeftics have feafted and fat- 
 tened upon the revenues. 
 
 Rebate. Do you forget I have your matter's 
 bond for eleven thoufand, and could overwhelm 
 him with ruin ? 
 
 True-Man. I tell you, Sir, Mr'. Fairport rejects 
 your propofal with contempt What would the 
 world fay, mould a Britilh merchant act with fuch 
 difhonor. 
 
 Relate. Diflionor ! Why, man, there is no fuch 
 thing as difhonor in a tranfaction of traffic , this is 
 the golden age, in which every thing is bought and 
 fold. 
 
 True-men. But conference, Mr. Rebate confci- 
 ence the eltimate of juftice me is a judge whole 
 admonitions are not to be filenced, and rectitude 
 alone can fave us from the poignancy cf her 
 flings. 
 
 Relate. Confcience may be a judge for aught I 
 know ; but eleven thoufand pounds would effectu- 
 ally filence her accufations many a judge has 
 held his tongue for half the money But I mall 
 
 wair.
 
 RETALIATION. 23 
 
 wait to lee your matter, young man, fo will take 
 a turn in the garden, and, no doubt, will find the 
 elegance of his improvements equal to the mag- 
 nificence of his manfion. 
 
 Trueman. Sir, your fervant. 
 
 Rebate. Your mod obedient fweet-fcented Sir 
 (Exit Trueman) What an impudent moralizing 
 rafcal this fellow is not one of your cloven-tongued 
 gentry, with one tongue for his public, and another 
 tongue for his private principles he fhould have 
 been bred to the church But how am I to act ? 
 intereil and pafilon poflefs me This Amelia mo- 
 nopolizes my mind Let me confider-, her father 
 died at Amfterdam in the houfe of a Quaker aye, 
 it's plain my correfpondent, Tribulation, was the 
 plunderer of his diamonds, and thefe diamonds he 
 was to confign to me for fale the uncle's ruined, 
 and could I perfuade the niece to come under my 
 protection, this would turn out an Argonaut ex- 
 pedition, and I mould have the meeting of a 
 golden fleece Let me fee (Mufing) 
 
 Enter LUCY. 
 
 Lucy. So ! here he is Have at you, old rogue 
 Hem ! hem ! 
 
 Rebate. (Turning about fuddenly.) Ah ! ha ! my 
 girl (Takes Lucy's hand.) Egad, you are all beauties 
 in this houfc. 
 
 Lucy. Beauties, Sir Mifs Amelia, my mallei's 
 niece, is beautiful indeed. 
 
 Rebate. And a witty rogue, I dare fay. 
 
 Lucy. A fool, your honor , for I have heard her 
 fay, fhe'd prefer an old man to a young one. 
 
 Rebate. You joke, hufieyj you joke. 
 
 Lucy,
 
 24 RETALIATION. 
 
 Lucy. Not I indeed, Sir Then fometimes fhe's 
 half mad. 
 
 Relate. Foolifh and infane ! Both in my fa- 
 vour. \_Afide. 
 
 Lucy. Then to be fare, Sir, as me is foolilh and 
 maddim, if Ihe was to marry an old gentleman, 
 now fuppofe fuch a healthy old gentleman as you, 
 Sir, he /might lock her up, you know, to preserve 
 her frota young gallants. 
 
 Rebate. Egad you're a wit, my girl. 
 
 Lucy. Who I ? No, indeed, your honor I am 
 but young, foolifh, and flighty myfelf ; yet I think 
 if a huiband was to lock me up, to preferve my 
 virtue, i*d be tempted to turn fo troublefome a 
 companion out of my company. But as I was 
 going to fay, I do think Mifs Amelia has as deli- 
 cate a (hape as any lady in England. 
 
 Rebate. So Ihe has, fo fhe has, you baggage, 
 and as inticing a look. Could you now contrive 
 to introduce me to this foolifli, half-mad Amelia ? 
 Eh. 
 
 Lucy. La, Sir, if I was found out in fuch & 
 bufinefs, it would for ev^r ruin my reputation. 
 
 Rebate. But it would get you money, huffey 
 and thofe who have money are above reputation, 
 or what would become of parties in mm. con. ? 
 
 Za*ry.'Then, your honor, my confcience. 
 
 Rebate. Confcience.! Why confcience, child, is 
 expelled from both ends of the town, or we mould 
 not get an enemy's fhip infured for love or money ; 
 the whole fyftem of ftock-jobbing would be over- 
 turned ; the lottery offices might put out their 
 lamps, and the deluded people would no longer be 
 led to deftrucYion by authorized jack-a-lanterns. 
 
 Lucy, But my honefty* 
 
 Rebate*
 
 RETALIATION. 25 
 
 Rebate. Honefty ! Honefly, my lamb, is a ma- 
 terial drawback on pleafure and profit. Thofe 
 who never deviate from the paths of honefty, move 
 like fnails through the world ; they leave a mining 
 track behind, but make a very flow progrefs in 
 the road to preferment. 
 
 Lucy. But what right have you to expeft I mould 
 be your friend with the lady ? (Holding out her hand 
 and rubbing the palm.} 
 
 Rebate. When I have given you nothing. Eh ! 
 Well, well ; here, here's a retainer for you. (Gives 
 her money.) 
 
 Lucy. O dear, your honor (Holding up the money 
 and looking at it.) I fee the matter now quite in a 
 new light. 
 
 Rebate. And don't let me find you one of thofe 
 voluble advocates who fay a great deal to little 
 purpofe, or one of thofe tacit pleaders who pockec 
 their clients fee, and fay nothing. 
 
 Lucy. Well, Sir, ftep into the parlour on the left 
 fide of the hall, I'll attend you immediately, and 
 will render you every fervice in my power (Going) 
 but, Sir, remember now you muft be very fecret 
 There's no lover a woman admires fo much as a 
 fecret one. 
 
 Rebate. Secret ! never fear me, I'm filent as an 
 air gun, which does execution wichout making 
 a report But before you go, egad, I muft have 
 
 Lucy, (curtfeying and wiping her mouth) A kifs, 
 your honor (kifs) O dear! dear! I fee you'll 
 carry the lady. 
 
 Rebate. Well, I'll wait in the parlor and fee, 
 find out my fon, and tell him I defire he may re- 
 turn to London Kow fweet the little hufley kifles ! 
 nothing fo renovating to age, as the breath of a. 
 young female its more vivifying than the per- 
 D fumes
 
 *6 RETALIATION. 
 
 fumes of the Spice Iflands, or the odoriferous 
 
 breezes of Arabia Felix. [Exit, 
 
 Lucy. Oh ! here come the lovers (retires) 
 
 Enter AMELIA **/ TRUEMAN.' 
 
 Amelia. .Nay, prithee peace now furely this is 
 no time to fpeak of love. 
 
 Lucy, (coming forward and ft anting 'between item) 
 Indeed, Ma'am, but it is the prcicnt time is al- 
 ways the bed to fpeak of love, and 1 know the cap- 
 tair. '.o - you in his foul. 
 
 Trueman. The captain ! Lucy What captain ? 
 Lucy. What captain but yourfelf -are you noc 
 in the military 'fociation ? Well I never thought the 
 'fociators would grow fo (lout Indeed, Madam, 
 they fhoot cannons (Looking at Amelia) O how Mr, 
 Trueman lovesyou ! don't blufh, Ma'am " Would 
 Ihe but marry me, my dear Lucy" laid he, when he 
 gave me this ring " If I had but the good fortune 
 to gain her conient" (Looking at Trueman) La', 
 don't look fo fheepifh, Mr. 'I rueman Now I'd 
 kave 'nothing to Fortune. 
 
 'Tfiieman, You are right, Lucy, Fortune's a gay 
 coquttt, and neglects the loldier or lover, Who de- 
 pends too much upon her Imiies. My dear Amelia, 
 will you give me an anfwer ? 
 
 Amelia. An anfwer You have'nt afked me the 
 
 tion. 
 
 Lucy. Lord ! Lord ! M.i'am, can you look in his 
 face and fay fo ? are r; .-L his tyes twinkling out 
 this v.-ry mllant, will you marry me, will you mar- 
 r me Tike her hand, Mr, Trueman i (lie told 
 aie thievery day you had he, heart. 
 
 Amelia. And I faid true {gives her hand) but 
 you mult procure my uncle's conient. I have ever 
 
 found
 
 RETALIATION. 27 
 
 found in him the attention and affection of a fa- 
 ther, and am bound to obey him from gratitude, 
 as well as duty. 
 
 True-nan. My dear Amelia, I admire your can- 
 dor When a woman approves the honcft addrefies 
 of a man who loves her, fure there can be no in- 
 delicacy in confefling that flic's Icnfible of his paf- 
 fion. 
 
 Lucy. O ! O I O ! there's no (landing this ten- 
 der fcene may, may, .may heaven blefs you 
 both ! (fobbing) 
 
 Enter FRANK. 
 
 Frank. I'm as full of intelligence as an Extraor- 
 dinary Gazette ! 
 
 Trueman. P*ay don't be a Gazette on the occa- 
 fion, let us have the whole truth. 
 
 Frank. 1 have left Matter Prascipe in the pantry, 
 where he gormandizes with the appetite of a cor- 
 morant, and drinks like a fifh. I have fully per- 
 fuaded him that Lucy is your coufin Augufta, 
 and (hall prefently introduce him to an interview 
 with her, quite in a new character. 
 
 Lucy. The old gentleman has fwallowed every 
 thing I've told him, and believes yu, Ma'am, to 
 be a half witted kind of a flighty hair-brained gen- 
 tlewoman his paffion has made a fool of him, 
 and as this is a trial of (kill between Frank and me, 
 I'll try if I can't get him to take up a new charac- 
 ter, as well as his ton. 
 
 frueman. Why, Lucy, you're a perfect miftrefs 
 of intrigue. 
 
 Lucy. I lived two years at a French board ing-fchool, 
 Si r befides, women were always better negotia- 
 tors than men ; and were half a dozen bride girls 
 D 2, like
 
 28 RETALIATION. 
 
 like me, fent out commiffioners to America, we'd 
 foon fettle bufinefs with the Congrefs. 
 
 'Trueman. I have no doubt of your ability. 
 
 Lucy. Doubt, Sir La! I wifh we haoV the 
 fettling of the Irifli affairs. 
 
 Amelia. Come, let us retire to our feveral du- 
 ties. 
 
 Lucy. 1*11 go prepare the old man. 
 
 Frank. And I the young one. 
 
 Trw/nan. And never fear, they fhall both have 
 a furfeit of amours. [Exeunt, 
 
 A C T
 
 RETALIATION. 29 
 
 AC T II. 
 
 SCENE. A Dreffing-room, a Table, 
 Drtffing-GlaJs, and Chair* 
 
 j/r REBATE, andL,vcY 3 carrying an uniform Juit. 
 
 Lucy. "\7'OUR fon, Sir, is gone to town, and 
 JL fo is Mr. Trueman j and my matter 
 has fent word he won't be here this evening, and 
 I've put all the fervants out of the way ; and fo 
 we'll have a clear coaffc to ourfelves. 
 
 Reb. Well, well, that's right, my girl, that's 
 right But, Lucy, I can fcarcely credit what you 
 tell me of Amelia's difpofition, 
 
 Lucy. Indeed, Sir, it is true; (he loves the 
 army above all things, and will fometimes fpeak 
 for an hour together, particularly in the full of 
 the moon, Sir, about battles, and foldiers, and 
 cutting of throats. Here are Mr. Trueman's 
 'fbciation regimentals pay your addreffes to her 
 in them, Sir, and you'll carry the day. 
 
 Reb. Then leave them on the chair, and as 
 there's no one in the houfe to fee me play the 
 fool with this mad girl, egad I'll e'en attack her 
 a la mi lit air e. 
 
 Lucy. And while you're drefTing, I'll prepare 
 your mitlrefs to receive you (Going, Jhe returns) 
 But remember, you are to perfuade Mifs Amelia, 
 that you've loved her a long time, and that hear- 
 ing of her uncle's failure, you're come to offer 
 her your heart and fortune. [Exit. 
 
 Reb. Foolilh and infane as this young lady 
 may be, i: is rather extraordinary that fhc fliould 
 
 prefer
 
 30 RETALIATION. 
 
 prefer age to youth, (takes off his coat) As to her 
 liking foldiers better than men of any other profef- 
 fion, that's common your green-girls bite as 
 voracioufly at a red rag as mackarel. (takes off 
 bis waijlcoat) But what fhould become of me, 
 if in her madnefs fhe fhould take a fudden aver- 
 fion to fcarlet, and fly at me like a turkey- 
 cock ? (puts on the uniform ivaiftcoat) I cannot 
 think fhe has preference for old men {puts on the 
 coat, and looks in the glafs) yet why not ? Love 
 is a capricious pafilon, and not always the con- 
 fequence of beauty or afiiduity - Thisdrefs really 
 becomes me (looks in the glafs) and I have 
 known one lucky moment often produce, what 
 years of felicitation, rivers of tears, and ftorms 
 of fighs, could never bring about. (Puts on the 
 helmet) 
 
 Enter Lucy. 
 
 Lucy. La, Sir ! You are quite the thing ! I 
 have prepared Mifs Amelia, and indeed O ! 
 Ihe looks charming. 
 
 Reb. But have you been feeling the pulfe of 
 her affections, how do they beat ? Eh, Lucy 
 eh, eh (fazing Lucy's hand) 
 
 Lucy. Mercy, Sir, let go my hand La, Sir, 
 why are you fo warm ? 
 
 Reb. Warm ! I'm all fire ! irritation, like 
 rubbing a dry flick, fets me in ablaze! Let 
 us be going (.) 
 
 Lucy. Yes, Sir, but remember you muft ufe 
 her gently fhe's of a mild, religious difpo- 
 firion. 
 
 Reb. Religious ! That's fuel to my fire No 
 pleaftire gives fuch exquifite fatis faction to 
 a man of gallantry, as ruining a devotee \0fidc) 
 But how do I look, Lucy ? eh ! 
 
 Lncy
 
 R E T A L I A T I O NT. 31 
 
 Lucy. Look ! your honour looks killingly 
 {walks round him) Thefe light-horfemen are fo 
 finart about the head, fo fpurred upon the heel, 
 wear their cloaths fo neat to their fliapes, and 
 have their fkirts fo trimmed to their hips, they 
 .dways appear ready for aclion, like fo many- 
 game-cocks cat out of feather for fighting BUT 
 your cheeks are not half re<l, Sir (brings a box 
 from the toilet and paints him) And your eye- 
 brows mtifl be blackened {brings another box 
 and blackens his eye-brows) Now, your honour, 
 you've a noble foldierly appearance. 
 
 Reb. Thefe fwingeing eye-brows give me too 
 fierce a countenance but then they fet off a 
 fmile (grins in the glafs) 
 
 Lucy. Good-day, how amiable you look 1 Btft 
 you muft hold up your head thus (puts tip his 
 head) And wear your helmet over your left eye 
 thus (Jetties his helmet) And keep your arms 
 thus (Jetties his arms) And I muft tighten your 
 ftock. (tightens his ftcck.) 
 
 Reb. Zounds! Lucy, you'll ftrangle me ! 
 
 Lucy. Never fear, your honour A foldict 
 fliould always wear his ftock tight enough to 
 force a colour into his face a tight ftock is a fol- 
 dier's dram You fee the guards appear as ruddy 
 in the face, and as ftiff in the Ihoulders as if they 
 had been exercifed in a pillory You muft turn 
 out your toes (turns out his toes with her feet) 
 Keep your breaft full out thus (Bends bivi 
 back) March thus (takes him under the arm and 
 marches) To the right about (they face the au- 
 *dience) Aye, now you appear perfectly at cafe. 
 
 Reb. At eaie ! Egad, my mufcles are cracking 
 with exquifuc torture. But 1 like this maique- 
 rading, it feafons an amour to the higheit go -.'if, 
 and is the very fpice, the poignant fauce of: an 
 intrigue I lhall reward you liberally ! 
 
 LU.CJ.
 
 32 RETALIATION. 
 
 Lucy. And I fha'n'toppofe your honour's libe- 
 rality to be proof againft a bribe, would fhew 
 a vulgar education 
 
 Reb. True And perfons of the firft rank ars 
 rewarded under the head of fecret fervice. But 
 here (gives her a purfe) You have no more 
 fcruples now, I hope, about confcience, honour, 
 and honefty. 
 
 Lucy. No indeed, your honour, they are 
 your's, you have bought them, and may difpofe 
 of them as you think proper. 
 
 Reb. Then I'll give them to thofe who want 
 them Honour to the Gamblers Confcience 
 to the Methodifts and Honefty to the Jews. 
 
 Lucy. Nay, your honour, keep a little of 
 each for us poor chriftians. 
 
 Reb. Egad, my girl, I fee you're no novice. 
 
 Lucy. A novice at eighteen ! No no, we 
 have more experience at that age in London, 
 than country girls at twenty-five. City rofes 
 blow apace, and it's generally fummer with us, 
 before it fhould be fpring 1 fhot my firft arrow 
 at fixteen, hit my man, and he turning falfe, I 
 have ever fince carried two firings to my bow- 
 But it's time, colonel, I (hould introduce you. 
 
 Reb. Lead on, I follow (?'bey marcb off, 
 Lucy humming a marcb.) 
 
 Enter PR^CIPZ and FRANK. 
 
 (P R RECIPE In an old faflmned naval uniform end 
 bat, ajword, Jlick, and black patch on one eye.) 
 
 Frank. This uniform fits you exactly, Sir, I 
 borrowed it from an old fea officer in the neigh- 
 bourhood You really look as br.ave, and fea- 
 inan-like, as if you were one of the Admirals in 
 
 Weft-
 
 RETALIATION. 33 
 
 Weftminfter Abbey, dcfcended from his monu- 
 ment. 
 
 Pr<ccipe. I wifh fome of them had defcended, 
 they have been wanting Mafter Frank But I 
 object to this black patch on my eye, it brings 
 me under Itatute ninth of George the firft, chap- 
 ter twenty-fecond, which makes it felony with- 
 out clergy to go with the face difguifed. 
 
 Frank. That aft muft have loft its force, Sir, 
 or what would become of the painted beauties 
 of London ? % 
 
 Pr<cipe. Then, as a body may lay, I am only 
 a feaman by fiction j but ihe law fays, fictions are 
 beneficial But then, fays the law again, no fiction 
 fhall work an injury. Very well, there can be 
 no injury in my marrying a woman of fortune. 
 
 Frank. True, Sir. 
 
 Pr^cipe. Let us moot the cafeIn fiction fub- 
 fifts equity and juftice, fay the books then will 
 I marry Mifs Fairport in the equity of fiction, 
 and afterwards be happy. 
 
 Frank. In reality, Sir ? 
 
 Prrtcipe. If not happy, we can feparate by 
 fiction I'll ftate you a cafe in point A brings 
 his action of crim. con. againft B -, now though the 
 caufe of action had been tranfacted in the moft 
 loving manner between B, and the wife of A, 
 yet muft A ftate in his declaration, that the faid 
 B did wickedly and maliciouflv, with force and 
 arms, that is to fay, with fticks, clubs, ftaves, 
 fwords, guns, and other offcnfive weapons, fc- 
 
 duce and et extern, the wife of the faid A 
 
 Do you underftand me ? 
 
 Frank. Perfectly. 
 
 Prtfcipe. But this is not all for though A 
 
 and wife had lived together, like cat and dog, 
 
 as the faying is, yet muft A aver, that B deprived 
 
 E him
 
 # RETALIATION. 
 
 him of all % worldly comfort. Oh, Matter 
 Frank, many a good fortune has been made by 
 the fiftion of trim, con. but now a plaintiff can 
 icarce recover zjhilling. 
 
 Frank. And is .this law, Sir ? 
 
 Pr*. Yes, it is law, but nothing to what they do 
 at the Admiralty, where the whole ocean's brought 
 upon dry land It was but the. other day a pirate 
 was tried for felonioufly robbing the good fhip 
 St. Jofeph, on the high feas, four leagues off 
 Cape St. Vincent, in the county of Norfolk. 
 
 Frank. Now you joke indeed, Mr. Prascipe ! 
 
 Pr'<cipe. Joke ! The devil a joke ! Why man 
 it has been proved to the fatisfadion of the ci- 
 vilians and the bar, that the Thirteen Colonies 
 of America are fituate in, and part of the county 
 of Kent. , 
 
 Frank. I think I hear Mifs Fairport's foot 
 coming down flairs. 
 
 Pracipe. Then I'm off You.'ll break the ice 
 for me 
 
 Frank. Never fear She's a good creature, 
 and as familiar with me as if I was her fellow- 
 fervant. 
 
 Pr<ecipe. But won't it feem odd if I don't 
 court her myfelf ? . 
 
 Frank. Bkfs me ! r-no it's quite fafhionable to 
 make love by proxy. 
 
 Pnecipe. Well then, be my amicys curt*, and I'll 
 take another glafs or two a man (hould always 
 appear full of ipirits before his miftrefs. 
 
 [Exeunt P recipe. 
 
 Enter LUCY, laughing. 
 
 Lucy. Ha, ha, ha, I've had a peep at my fwain, 
 and he looks as tremendous as the head of a 
 Dutch (hip 
 
 Frank
 
 RETALIATION. 35 
 
 Frank. Formidable as he looks, Lucy, if you 
 regard your own intereft you'll make your fortune 
 of him I fay marry him, marry him ! 
 
 Lucy. Marry him ! 
 
 Fran. Yes you (hall marry him I fay you mall 
 marry him Mr.Trueman fays you (hall marry him 
 and Mifs Amelia fays you (ball marry him 
 Come, no denial, I have fcnt to town for a fpecial 
 licence and the Curate will be here prefently to 
 tack you together. 
 
 Lucy. La Frank ! why the fellow's a fool. 
 
 Frank. No fuch thing; the gentleman has wit. 
 
 Lucy. In his cups drinking is of the fame ufe 
 to his brain, as travelling to a blockhead ; it 
 heightens his impertinence, and transforms him 
 from a drowfy fool into a prating coxcomb. 
 
 Frank. Or, it improves his underftanding as 
 bottling improves ftnall beer, which then becomes 
 brifk without growing ftronger. 
 
 Lucy. And you infift on my marrying him ? 
 
 Frank. I do 
 
 Lucy. Then (hall you be my father on the oc- 
 cafion ; and fee, Frank I'll learn French and 
 cotillions, and dance perhaps with an Alderman, 
 at a Lord Mayor's ball. Then I'll pretend to be 
 half blind, and" fpy at the play-actors through my 
 glafs (imitating) and I'll walk as if I wanted the 
 ufe of my limbs (imitating) and fpeak fo nice, that 
 no one fhall underfland me. (imitating.) 
 
 Frank. Nay, but this is lofmg time, Lucy. 
 
 Lucy. And I'll blacken my eye-brows, pinkify 
 my hair, rouge my cheeks, and pearl powder my 
 neck Then I'll flaunt every fummer at the re- 
 views in the artillery ground, and go up the river 
 every autumn a (wan hopping, (running off.) 
 
 Frank. A brave girl, taitbj come I'll bring you 
 
 to your lover, and make the bcft ufe of your time. 
 
 2 [Extent.
 
 3 6 RETALIATION. 
 
 SCENE. A Clamber, AMELIA and REBATE 
 dif covered fitting en afofa. 
 
 Reb. Ha ! ha ! ha ! Egad, madam you are a 
 perfect foldier, and have given me as accurate a 
 description of a camp, as I could have given my- 
 fclf who have feen fervice. 
 
 Ame. S<;en fervice ! to me, fir, you appear a 
 veteran, worn out in the lervice ; but are yon 
 reslly a colonel ? Colonels are in general fo young, 
 and fubalterns fo old, that from your age I took 
 you to be a lieutenant. 
 
 Reb. We were fpeaking of the qualities necef- 
 fary to form a commander, madam. 
 
 - Ame. True, I was going to communicate to you 
 a receipt for making commanders-, I had it from 
 a learned phyfician, who though not diploma'd 
 from a Univerfuy to kill by the regular rules of 
 art 
 
 Reb. Is a licenfed quack, I fuppofe, madam, 
 and murders under the authority of letters pa- 
 tent. 
 
 Ame. A cefiation of wit, and liften to my re- 
 ceipt, fir. Take ten drops of Marlborough fpiiit 
 one ounre flower of Ligonier two drams pow- 
 der of Granby one fcruple of Wolfe's laurel, and 
 a fingle grain of Cumberland oak bark ; let thefe 
 ingredients be put in a brafs mortar, mix them up 
 with oil of Andre, marine effence of Farmer and 
 alkaline fait of Pierfon, and they'll produce an in- 
 ipiring draught, of fufficient power to infuie a 
 courageous foul into the moft inanimate body. 
 
 Rcb. Why, madam you are a perfect political 
 Efculapius ! 
 
 Ame. Yes, colonel, and our new (late phyficians 
 have ordered my prefcription to be taken in large 
 dofcs by every commander at fea and land. 
 
 Rcb.
 
 RETALIATION. 37 
 
 Reb. Let us return to my fuit, fair creature 
 your uncle is undone you have no friend , puc 
 yourfclf unifer my proteftion, and we'll live 
 
 Ane. (rlfing fuddenly ) In the country ! For I am 
 enraptured with the Iports of the field, and glory 
 in the pleafures of the chace Not a fortnight 
 fince I rode a day's fport after twenty couple of 
 hounds, ftaunch tartars as ever yelp'd or run a 
 drag took a flying leap acrofs a flream dafhed 
 thro' two quickfets, and leaped three five bar 
 gates, 
 
 Reb. Aye! 
 
 Ame. We unkennelled Reynard before eight, 
 had a view hollow by ten Tallee ho, ho ho ho 
 hoick forward wind him, the villain, wind him. 
 At eleven he took the water, we plunged after 
 croffcd the Thames at twelve the whole pack 
 clofe in with him, you could cover them with a 
 ftieet, and we killed him exactly at nineteen mi- 
 nutes three feconds after one. 
 
 Reb. Why, madam, you're not only an Ama- 
 zon, but a Diana. 
 
 Ame. Then I can moot fitting or flying kill a 
 trout or falmon with a fingle hair bit a horfe for 
 the field, break him in for the carriage {launch a 
 pointer, and underftand the odds and chances at 
 horfe- racing, cards, hazard, pafs-dice, Pharoahand 
 E O, as well as any black-leg of the turf, or 
 judge in the (land at Newmarket. 
 
 Reb. Egad, madam, all the amiable qualities 
 of a modern high-blooded fine lady feem to be 
 centered in you. 
 
 Ame. Dear Colonel you don't know half In 
 driving a photon I'll back my fkill againft any ti- 
 tled or urititled female in the kingdom, and am 
 ready to lay you three to two, play or pay, that I 
 drive four hunters from London to Bath, without 
 
 once
 
 S 8 RETALIATION. 
 
 once lofing the whip-hand of the road, and turn 
 them on the breadth of a {hilling's edge. 
 
 Reb. Why ! you're an Olympic charioteer, ma- 
 dam. 
 
 Ame. And I fay done firft. 
 
 (knocking? Amelia goes to the door.) 
 
 Reb. It will do it will do raye, aye, (he's half 
 mad, and when wearied of her I'll foon find a 
 doftor mall make her compleatly fo. (afide) 
 
 Enter FRANK, (Rebate conceals bis face with his bat.) 
 
 Frank. News ! madam, news ! I bring news 
 will delight your ear, and charm your heart: Mr. 
 Trueman is returned from town, and brings word, 
 that the Weft India fleet's arrived, that the Eaft 
 Indiamen are in port^ but, madam, he is here, 
 and there, and every where, foaming with rage, 
 and roaring out horrid vengeance againil old Re- 
 bate. 
 
 Reb. O ! Mercy ! I'm loft, (afide.) 
 
 Ame. Do you know that old villain. Rebate, 
 Colonel ? 
 
 Reb. No, madam, I'm acquainted with no old 
 villains, (in an under voice.) 
 
 Frank. And one of the fervants, madam, has 
 told Mr. Truemair^hat this officer's with you, and 
 he's mad jealous, (goes up to Rebate) Lord your 
 honour, I would not be in your coat for. a thoufand 
 pounds , fo to prevent two murders, I'll feek old 
 Rebate, and get him out of the way. [Exit. 
 
 Amelia. I'll lock myfelf up ,in this clofet. 
 Reb. And I'll follow you 
 
 Ame. Not for the world you muft ftay here and 
 defend me. 
 
 Frank, (within) Sir Sir you can't come in 
 here - 
 
 Tru.
 
 RETALIATION. 39 
 
 5r.- (within) Frank, I will have entrance - 
 
 Ame. Mercy here he comes ! 
 
 (retires into the clofet, andjhuts the door.) 
 
 Reb. So I'm to be affaffinated ! is there no 
 place of retreat ? (looking about.) 
 
 Frank, (within} Put up your fword, dear fir. 
 
 Ame. (looking out of the clofet} Infift upon righting 
 him with piftols, colonel j at fwor'ds, its nothing 
 with him, but ha, ha, ha, and he whips his antago- 
 nift, quart over the arm, through the lungs. 
 
 Reb. Quart over the- arm, and through the 
 lungs ! with a ha 1 O my lungs ! (coughs) what 
 will become of me ? 
 
 Ame. (looking out) And, Colonel, don't fight him 
 with his own piftols, with them he can ftrike the 
 fpot out of an ace of diamonds, or kill a fwallow 
 flying with a fingle ball, (/huts the door) 
 
 Reb. Kill a fwallow flying then if he kills 
 me it mall be flying. 
 
 Enter TRUEMAN with two /words. 
 
 Tru. They are of one length, fir, take your 
 choice ; (prefenting the fwords) you have injured 
 me in the tendereft point, injured me in my love 
 knowing I was a citizen, you prefumed I would 
 not refent an affront from a foldier ; but I will con- 
 vince you, fir, that in this country, a foldier and 
 a citizen are one character. 
 
 Reb. Sir, (hiding his face with his hat.) 
 
 frit. Sir - 
 
 Reb. Sir ^hem fir Having unfortunately re- 
 ceived a wound in this arm I hem hem I I 
 cannot hold a fword. (diftorting his ann.) 
 
 ru. Then, fir, take your choice of thcfe (pro- 
 ducing a cafe of piftols.) they are Tower-proof, and 
 kill point-blank at thirty yards, 
 
 Reb.
 
 40 R E T A L 1 A T I O Isf. 
 
 Reb, I am an old man I've been ufed to fight 
 for my countrymen not againft them 
 
 (going towards the door.) 
 
 'fru. (intercepting kirn} If you have not ipiric to 
 meet a man, how dare you face a woman.--*- 
 Heavens; what a figure ! withered like a winter 
 apple (Rebate walks^ Trueman follows him, ft ill keep- 
 ing him from the door) mrivelled and decayed like 
 an autumnal pear weak and bowed down by in- 
 firmities a living hofpital of old diforders a 
 martyr to difeafes, cramps, aches, pains, fpafms, 
 agues, contractions, rheums, and paroxyfrns. 
 
 Reb. I know of nothing that ails me but a little 
 cough (coughs) pray let me pals, (bowing.) 
 
 7>. Are you not taped, fnliced, fpiced, and 
 glewed together like an Egyptian mummy ? 
 
 (Relate walking^ 'Trueman following*} 
 
 Reb. (Bowing very lew) What you pleafc what 
 you pleafe. 
 
 <Tru. Are you not a burden to yourfelf, a nui- 
 fance to your acquaintance, an evil example to 
 youth, and a fcandal to old age ? 
 
 Reb. A nuifance ! then pray let me remove the 
 nuifance. (going} 
 
 <Tru. Get home, purchafe flannel, and engage a 
 nurfe to fwaddle you. But if I ever catch you again 
 poaching on this ground, I'll mow you no more 
 mercy than a country juftice (hews a peafant who 
 kills partridgeI'll truis you up as warreners 
 trufs up kites, a horrid fcarecrow to birds of prey. 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 Reb. Trufs me up ! O you damned villain. 
 (very loud and tkreatning with his hand] Yes, rafcal ! 
 If ever you catch me here again, you may trufs me 
 up, and quarter me into the bargain O plague on 
 this lobfter's mell ! (tearing open his caat] I ihall be 
 
 the
 
 RETALIATION. 41 
 
 the laughing (lock of the whole town. But foftly, 
 let me lee, he miftakes me for an officer ; fo I'll 
 leek Lucy, change my cloaths, and make my ef- 
 cape to town. O woman ! woman ! you make 
 idiots of the. \vifeft and oldeft of us Why can't 
 I fhake off this paffion for the fex ? Surely ! fure- 
 ly ! the greateft curfe under heaven is to be afflict- 
 ed with an appetite we can neither fatisfy nor get 
 rid of. [Exit.. 
 
 Enter Lucy, with PR^CIPE, intoxicated. 
 
 Lucy. And fo you've deceived me ? I have mar- 
 ried an attorney and not a captain ? 
 
 Pr<e. There's no difference' I tell you between 
 tjiem. I've a cafe in point Styles, verfus Nokes 
 on the Game Laws. John a Nokes was indicted by 
 Tom a Styles for having a hare in his poflefiion. 
 Nokes gave in evidence that the hare was killed 
 in his garden by a hog, and the judge would have 
 non-prols'd Styles, had not a learned ferjeant ar- 
 gued contra, that the garne laws were not made 
 againft hogs, nor made againft dogs, but were 
 made againft perfons having game in their poffef- 
 fion, and therefore quo ad hoc a hog was a dog, and 
 a dog was a hog 
 
 Lucy. What ! would you make a hog or a dog 
 of me ? 
 
 Pr<c. No -no 1 am only proving, do you 
 
 fee rae, that as captains and attornies have the fame 
 end in marrying, fo in our cafe, as in the cafe of 
 the hog and the dog, cteteris paribus, with a quo ad, 
 hoc, an attorney is a captain and a captain is an 
 attorney, 
 
 Lucy. But my father, I fear, will be dreadfully 
 angry 
 
 Pr<e. Never mind your father -, your fortune is in 
 your own poflefiion your father never afked your 
 to marry, and why fhould you afk his ?
 
 41 RETALIATION. 
 
 But here my dear Augufta Fairport alias Au- 
 gufta Rebate alias my love alias my charmer 
 I endow you with thefe diamonds, and bank; 
 notes (gives the cajkets and pocket book] and take 
 care of this letter; it contains evidence to. 
 hang my father, if he mould take exceptions; 
 
 Enter FRANK. 
 
 Lucy: Well Mr. Frank, we have made up every- 
 thing, and we have determined to fport a vis a vis 
 of the brimftone, and a tim whifkey of the em- 
 peror's eye. 
 
 Pr<ecipe. Yes ; we will have a vis and a timmy, 
 and never be without wine in the cellar, and cplci 
 meat in the pantry and now I am married, 
 I'll drink (fings.) 
 
 *' Drink and fet your heart at rcft> 
 64 Of a bad bargain make the bejl." 
 
 Frank. Bravo, Sir. But, Madam, it is time 
 you mould introduce the old gentleman, Mr. 
 Prascipe's prepared, I hope. 
 
 Lucy. Yes, yes, I have inftrucled him. Well, 
 adieu ! Heigh-ho \ [Exif* 
 
 Pr<cipe. Adieu ! Heigh-ho ! your hand honeit 
 Frank I have been drinking mod devoutly 
 toafting on my knees, drinking and courting and 
 fmo^king and killing- and every thing goes, 
 round. (Sings.) 
 
 " Round the world thus we march with merry glee.'* 
 You (hall always be welcome to victuals and drink 
 at our houfe I play as merry a knife and fork as 
 an overleer of the poor. (Sings.) 
 
 ^ the roaji beef of Old England, 
 " O the old Englijh roajt I'eef" 
 
 Frank. Remember you are to pafs upon your 
 father as lieutenant of a man of war, fpeak loud, 
 difguife your voice, and flourifb your flick.
 
 RETALIATION. 4$ 
 
 Pr#cipe. Never fear me. Then I have been 
 Drinking, as my fchool-rhafter ufcd to fay, gram- 
 maticallydrinking through the tenfes-^-drinking 
 I ike a camel, for the time paft, the time prefenc, 
 and the time to come.. (Sings.) 
 
 " fill me a bowl^ a mighty boiv! t 
 
 " Large as my capacious fwL" 
 
 Enter LUCY. 
 
 Lucy. Here comes the old gentleman raving with 
 anger *Myn -we, Hand you here. 
 
 Enttf R EB ATE, f in a rage.) 
 
 Rebate. My cloaths gone^O fool ! fool ! {beat's 
 bis bead ) 
 
 Frank. (Taking Rebate afide.) Keep your tem- 
 per, colonel ; here's a lieutenant of the ndvy as 
 furious as a hurricane, and unrelenting as a great 
 gun he is your rival too, and half drunk. 
 
 Rebate. (Stamping.) O blockhead, blockhead, 
 blockhead. 
 
 Prxape. Blockhead ! Let him keep a civil 
 tongue or I'll make him (kip it was me he called 
 blockhead, {drawing bis banger.) 
 
 Lucy. Indeed, lieutenant, it is not you the co- 
 lonel calls blockhead begin begin, (pujbing Pr<c- 
 tipe.) 
 
 Lucy. Noble lieutenant, don't draw blood here, 
 
 Frank. The fellow muft be a coward by his 
 noife fuppofe you put his mettle to the proof. 
 (Afide to Rebate.) 
 
 Rebate. I fee you don't know me, Frank 
 O fhame! Ihame' I am Old Rebate. 
 
 Frank. (Affecting fa-prize.) Blefs me! Mr. Re- 
 bate. 
 
 Pr&cipt. Let me at him, I fay, (pretending Jo 
 flrnggle with Lucy.) 
 
 Rebate. Protect me from that bloody-minded fca^ 
 monfter here, here, (gives money.)
 
 44 RETALIATION. 
 
 Frank. Keep up your fpirits, Sir, and I will. 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 Prxcipe. See, old codger, if pafTion has kicked 
 up a riot in your brain, you had bed call in your 
 prudence as a conftable to keep the peace. 
 
 Rebate. You really miltake me, noble lieu- 
 tenant, (bowing.) 
 
 Pr<cipe. That won't do >you fhan't get at the 
 blind fide of me I have but one eye, 'tis true ; but 
 it's an eye \vould frighten me French, the Dutch 
 and the Spaniards *it's a Hawke'sQ-*y damn me, 
 it's a Hawked eye it's a Hawke's eye. 
 
 Enter FRANK with a blunderbufs, which he gives to 
 REBATE. 
 
 Frank. (A/Me.) Here, Sir, now defend your- 
 fclf, it's charged up to the muzzle with fwan mot. 
 
 Prtecipe. Fire and ttorms. 
 
 Rebate. (Kneeling and prefent ing the blunderbufs. ) 
 Out of the way and let me pafs, or I'll make a 
 riddle of your carcafe. 
 
 Pnecipe. (Turning fuddenty about , falls . ) Murder! 
 mercy ! fpare me j (pul/s off bis hat and black patch,) 
 confider, dear father, ir you fire, though you 
 Ihould mifs me, the very intention is death by the 
 black ad. 
 
 Rebate. My gracelefs Ion in confpiracy against 
 me ! O you unnatural villain I-^-But here comes 
 another tormcnter, (fill kneeling.) 
 
 Enter T R u E M A N . He ftands between REBATE arid 
 
 Trueman. What s colonel! I thought you had 
 Jeft i ic houfe. 
 
 Pr<ecipe. I'll make affidavit he's no more a co- 
 lonel than 1 am. 
 
 Trueman. And vho are you, Sir? 
 
 Pracipe Praccipe Rebate, at your fervice 
 fparc me, and hereafter I'll live an honeft attorney <
 
 RETALIATION. 45 
 
 Lucy. Live 'an honcft attorney \ No, no, my 
 love, you flian't live an original character. 
 
 Truemsw. Which deferves chattifement mod, 
 the father or Ton ? (looks at them alternately.} You 
 are equally dcferving-, for I know of none who 
 merit feverer punifhment than thole who afiume 
 his majeflyV livery, and put on the infignia of a 
 foldier, without pofTcfiing that dignity, honor 
 and courage, which are efiential to a military cha- 
 racter. 
 
 Lucy. And heaven knows, Sir, there are plenty 
 of fuch uncommiffioned coxcombs about town. 
 But pray rife, your honor, (to Rebate] this is ho- 
 nefl Mr. Rebate, equipt in your 'fociation uni- 
 form. 
 
 Pr<ecipe. Caught with the manor that is to fay, 
 with the property upon you (to bis father.) 
 
 Pracipe. But fee, 1 have done my bufmefs without 
 your affiftance. I have married Mifs Fairport (puts 
 his hand under Lucy's arm) here me Hands ; her for- 
 tune's mine, I am her baron^ fhe's my feme, and 
 under my coverture. 
 
 Lucy. It is true, indeed, Sir, I am your daughter, 
 but not Mifs Fairport ; and as to fortune, mine 
 lies in a deal-box. 
 
 Prsecipe.' So I have ftultified myfelf in open, 
 court But father I'm hot an old fool and we 
 have money enough, and diamonds too and give 
 me your hand, bone of my bone. 
 
 Lucy, (to Prtccipe) In marriage you know a 
 captain's an attorney, and an attorney's a captain- 
 So by the lame rule a gentlewoman's a waking 
 maid, and a waiting maid a gentlewoman. 
 
 Prtecipe. A clear cafe, c^teris paribus y with a 
 quo ad hoc. 
 
 Enter
 
 46 RETALIATION. 
 
 Enter AMELIA. 
 
 Amelia. My dear Mr. Trueman, read this 
 letter. 
 
 Lucy. Which I received from my fpoufe. 
 
 Trusman. 'Here is evidence or' the blacked crime 
 can be committed by a fubjedb againft his king and 
 country giving luccour to their enemies. 
 
 Praclpe. High-treafon ! as I always told you 
 father uhen you quoted the Dutch as a precedent' 
 for having, when at war, fold powder and ball to 
 the enemy to pepper t^ieir own carcaies. 
 
 Trueman. Mr. Rebate This letter is directed 
 to you, Sir, and from its contents, I have reafon to 
 conclude, that the diamonds you have received 
 from Amilerdam, are the property of this lady. 
 
 Debate. Diamonds! 
 
 Amelia. Yes Sir, diamonds This letter is cer- 
 tainly written by the Quaker, at whole houfe my 
 father lodged. 
 
 Rebate. (Locking at tie letter) O ! I fhall run 
 mad. 
 
 Lucy. Here are the diamonds, Madam (deliver- 
 ing the cafe) 
 
 Rebate. And did you, idio% give a receipt for 
 thofe monies and diamonds in my name? (to Pr<c~ 
 cipe) 
 
 Pracipe. I am an Englifhman, and not bound 
 to anfwer perfonal interrogatories. 
 
 Rebate. I'll hang you for the forgery, you dog. 
 
 Prtfcipe. I defy your indictment I acted as 
 your lawful attorney ; or if I had not, a Quaker 
 is your only witnefs ; and your Quakers are fo 
 confcientious, they would let the worit of rogues 
 efcape, fooner than take an oath. 
 
 Rebate. Oh ! you rafcal ^Peter the Great was 
 right, when having but two lawyers in his domi- 
 nions, he hung one as an example to the other.
 
 RETALIATION. 47 
 
 pr<ftipe. You may abufe the law, father; but 
 we fhould not have impofing lawyers, if there were 
 not litigious clients. 
 
 Lucy. (Standing on his left hand.} Remember 
 yowr advice to me, " be afhamed of nothing, 
 * f ,ucy, but being poor che rich are above 
 < c fhame." 
 
 Amelia. (Standing on Ms right hand ) And re- 
 member, that the credit of a merchant, like the 
 virtue of a woman, or the courage of a foldier, is 
 his point of honor-, and that as no recompenfe can 
 fatisfy the lofs of credit, no punifhment is too fe- 
 vere for the villain who dares to traduce it. 
 
 Rebate. I'll flay no longer I'll convert all my 
 effects into cafh, arid fly to Holland, where every 
 man who has money may be fure of prote5Hon. 
 
 [*#. 
 
 Prtccipe. Wait for your cloaths, father -my 
 wife mall recover your fuit *' 
 
 frueman. What we have experienced will, I 
 hope, teach us this moral that while virtue guides 
 our pafilons, happinefs is the certain confluence, 
 and that mifery is ever the refult of fubmitting to 
 vicious habits. May every Briton bring thcfe pre- 
 cepts into practice and may every Briton alfo re- 
 member, that as the credit, the wealth, the ftrength, 
 the dignity of the Britifh empire flow from com- 
 merce, to fupport and extend commerce is the in- 
 {Jjipcnfible duty of every BritiCh fubject. [Exeunt. 
 
 wr 
 
 THE END,
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY 
 
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