■^ ^ \ A Ai I PR6035 Y5Ci+5 1889 Ryley, Madeline Lucette, 1868-193^^, ^ 3KARr oKiVLK. CALIFQgNIA Hiy'tRSID€ Christopher Junior [ADELINE LUCETTE RYLEY AjaUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St., New York ■■r^ J^-l^rf^m fdM CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR ComeDs In jfouc Hct3 BY MADELINE LUCETTE EYLEY Copyright, 1889, by J. H. Ryley , CAUTION. — Amateurs and Professionals are hereby warned that "Christopher Junior," being fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States, is subject to royalty, and any one presenting the play without the consent of the author or her authorized agent will be liable to the penalties by law provided. Application for the right to produce "Christopher Junior" must be made to Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th St., New York City. All rights reserved New York SAMUEL FRENCH PUBLISHER 28-30 WEST 38th STREET London SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 26 Southampton Street STRAND EMPIEE THEATRE, NEW YORK. Sept. 14, 1895. Pf. FOURTH ANNUAL SEASON, VC^ d^ MR. JOHN DREW, Under the management of Charles Frohman Presenting a Comedy in Four Acts, entitled CHRISTOPHER, JR. By ^Iadeline Lucette Ryley. CHARACTERS. Christopher Colt, Jr John Drew Christopher Colt, Sr Harry Harwood, Tom Bellaby Lewis Baker. Major Hedway Leslie Allen. Mr. Simpson Arthur Byron. Mr. Glibb Herbert Ayeling. Job Joseph Humphreys. Whimper Frank Lamb. Mrs. Glibb .Elsie de Wolfe. Mrs. Colt Annie Adams. Nelly Anna Belmont. and Dora Maude Adams. SYNOPSIS Act I. — Christopher, Jr.'s apartments in Grosvenor Gar- dens, London. Act II. — Christopher, Sr.'s reception-room of his house in Devonshire. Act III. — The Major's quarters in Bombay. (Six weeks are supposed to elapse) Intermission — One minute. Act rV. — The same as Act III. Time — The Present, CHRISTOPIIER JUNIOR. Performed at Terry's Theatre, London^ \^th Feb.^ 1896. CHARACTERS. Christopher (Colt) J/dbury Sr. ) ^ j Beauchamp. {an East Indian Merchant).. \ Mrs. (Colt) Jedbury [his Wife) Miss Emily Cross. ^^t^hetBon^"!^^}. ^.^^^'!'^:. ^.'.: \ ^«- Fbederick Kerr. Nelly {their Daughter) Miss Eva Moorb. Whimper {their Man-servant) Mr. Gilbert Farquhar. Joh{vaht to Jedbury Junior) Mr. L. Power. M:i]or Hedwuj {a retired soMier) Mr. J. L. Mackay. Dora, {his Niece) Miss M\ude Millett. Mr Glibb {President of the Association 1 ^^^ j ^ ^^^^^^^^^ for iiuppression oj Jucenitc (jranibLmg) } Mrs. Glihh {Jiis better half) Miss Elsie Chester. Tom Bellaby {a young Lawyer) Mr. Arthur Play fair. Mr Simpson {Manager of the 1 ^^ Edward Be^-cher. Bombay Mouse) j Act I. — Jedbury Junior's apartments in Grosvenor Terrace, London. Act II. — Jedbury Senior's reception room in his house in Devonshire. Act III, — The Major's quarters in Bombay. A.OT IV. — The same. Time. — The Present. When Christopher Junior was produced in London it was under the title of Jedbury Junior, the names of the principal characters having been changed to Jedbury. CHPJSTOPHER JUNIOR. ACT I. Scene. — Jedbury Junior's aiiartments. A very shabby attic room— bedroom communicating r., and door to stairs L. H'indo^o with ragged cnrtains c. back. A balcony out- side, leading to fire escape. A shabby sofa R. ; ricketty table L. ; a few chairs ; sideboard l. back ; cups, saucers, and teapot on sideboard, also su-gar bowl, poker chips, and playing cards ; a woodeti shelf loith brackets, nails, hammer, etc., on Huor near door R. ; brolcen piaster in ceiling over table l. {At rise of cxirtain Job enters door L. He carries large pile of books, then drops them on floor near where shelf is lying. He then returns to door h. and brings in a large assortment of boots and shoes. Tliese he carries across room till he stands before open do.,r R., when he throics boots in, one by one. He returns again to door 1. and fetches bundle of photographs and several pipes, which he carries to mantel over Hreplace R. He arranges photos and pipes on mantel. Knock at door L.) Job. (without turning) Not at home. Salter Bellaby. Bell. The deuce you're not ? (crosses front oj table to c.) Job. (turning) Oh, it's you, sir? 1 beg pardon, but them's the orders. Bell, (looking round) What are you doing here ? Job. We're moving, sir. Bell. Moving I Why, what's up ? Job. We are, sir. Can't get no higher, unless we go on the tiles. Bell. Where is Mr. Jedbury ? Job Just stepped out. He won't be long, sir. Bell. And what has induced him to exchange his flat on the second floor for this garret ? Job. (still arranging photos) Can't say exactly, sir. (going) (crosses to L.c.) Excuse me, we ain't all up yet. Bell. All right, Job, don't mind me ; I'll wait for ft few minutes, (puts down hat and walks to mantel) Job. Take a seat, sir. Job exits u 4 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. Bell. I wonder what Cluis's little game Is. (takes up jihnto— reads) "Christopher Jedbury Junior as Charles Umiace." {takes another) H'm ! "As John Mildniay " I {puts do ivn photos) So he still dabbles in amaleur theatricals. Enter Nelly Jeubuky l. Nelly, (l.) (not seeing who it is) I beg your pardon. Bell, (turns round) Good gracious ! why, it's Nelly 1 (goes to her) I beg your pardon, Miss Jedbury. Nelly, (extending her luind) What ! Tom !— Mr. TSellaby 1 T aril so glad to have met you ; they told me downstairs that Christopher wasn't at home. They almost refused to let me Wflit. (looks ro'find in dismay) Oh ! Bell. What's the matter V Nelly, (going np l.) We must have made a mistake. Oris would never live in this room, (goes np l c.) Bell, (aside) What am I to say ? (down R.) Poor little girl, and she's grown so pretty, too {aloud) I expect it's on account of the air. (Nelly comes doivn) The higher you go uhe j)Ui er it gets, yon know ; and Chris always was a deuce of a fellow for air. (looks at ceiling) He- -he —lives on it. No — no — I don't mean that ! Nelly, (coming down) Poor Chris, what can have haj)pt;ned ? I haven't seen him for two years. I've only just arrived from school in Paris, Whimper, our manservant, mot me at the station with a message that I was to wait for paj)a and mamma here. ( goes iip L.) Bell, (aside) (down R.) Christopher's father coming to town. Now 1 see through it all. This pauper and attic busi- ness is got up especially for the old man's he nejit. (aloud to Nelly, ^rho ruefully examines the shabby furniture) I wouldn't let the sight of this place distress me if I were you. We bachelors don't go in for frivolous embellishments. Solid comfort is all we care about. Nelly, (looks round) Poor Chris, I wish I knew what to do. Bell, (aside, L.) She doesn't like the idea of meeting him before me. I hate to leave her, and yet it's the only respect- able course, (crosses) (aloud) (taking hat) If you don't mind, Mi.ss Je«ll^ury, I'll run away. I really have a most pressing aip'iiitnieiit. You're sure you don't mind. Good-bye ! Nelly, (relieved) Oh, thank you so much — I mean good- bye I (follows him) Good-bye! (left at door, u) Exit Bellaby. Nelly. IIow nice of him to gfo I I know I shall give way when Chrisiopher comes, and I couldn't have done it com- CHRISTOPITKR JUNIOR. 5 fortably before a third persan— especially such s good- looking third person, I hope papa has sent him an invita- tion to iny ball Oil ! Ljok at those dreadful curtains. And the carj)et — {(/oes R., bd'jvtiniiKj to cry) Oh dear, I never felt BO miserable in all my life, (sfanda before open door, k.) That's the bedroom, I -upfjose. Hooks in) A cracked looking- glass ! and what a bed! Oo.'ered with boots and shoe^^ 1 \\ t'll, I can it least put tlun;^s tidy for the poor fellow, {exit into room, R., aiul shiita door) Elder Job door l. ; he carries a qiiuntity of Jed's wearing apparel. Job. {crosses behind table) Here's the clothes ! Where to put 'em is the next thing. There ain't a wardrobe or a cup- board on the blessefi floor, {ih rot ds clothes on sofa r.) (looks round dff^poniknlly) To think tliat Mr. Christopher should have come doivn to this I mean up to this ! (Jko. sinijs ler his arm. Jed. J. (l.c.) I thought I told you to take a holiday ! Job. I'm going, s^r, assing to rain. Jed. J. Tlien leave them. I'll find a place. (Ionics at watc>:) Eleven o'clock ! (aside) By Jove, the Guv'nor. will be here presently, {aloud) Job, you really must, get out into th^> fresh air. You're not lo-.king well, {up to him and aicay, L.) Job. Where shall I go, sir? Jed. J. Oh, on the leads— er — somewhere to liven you up. How about Westminster Abbey or K- nsul Greeu ? Job. (iiicking vp board) What ah.. ut this shelf, sir? Jed. J. I'll fix that ! (Job smiles) Wiiat are you laughing at? Job. At the thouQ;ht of you sir, a-wieldingof a 'ammer. Jed. j. Don t you drop your h's. Job. Job. And don't you drop the 'am;uer, sir. It's very *eavy. Jed. j. {takes bundle from table ; unrolls and displays a torn and dilapidated coat) What do you think of that. Job? Job. WliJit's it fr, sir? Jed. j. What's it jfor? What are coats usually for ? Help me on 1 (Job obeijs ; puts other coat on chair by tahle) Mi^ht have been made for me. Gave a beggar chap ten sliillings for it just now. He's going to retire and live on the interest. Job. I wouldn't call it a barijjain, sir. Jed j. That's because you don't know a bargain when you see one. {tcalks to sidtboard) A man must dr<-ss up to his {takes up teapot, the spo'^it of which is broken) tea2Jot. {listens) Hark ! Job ! you really are extremely pale, and must go home at once, {turns him. L.) Job. You'll never be able to manage it, sir, by yourself. Jed. j. {hustling him offi..) I insist. Job exits l. and Jed. J. closes the door after him. Jed. j {takes off ragjed jacket an,d throws it on sofa) I»jw, \ei me insi^ect the apartments, {looking up) H'm, ought to be plenty of ventilation, {rocks table) Ah, ricketty, that's the style ! {crosses to upper r., picks up hammer, knocks nail in wall, Jiangs up one of the coats brovght in by Job) What evil luck c^uld bring my dad to town just now. when he hasn't set foot out of Devon- shire for over a year ? {drives another nail and hangs another garment). Well, if I don't turn his visit to good account Im not Jedbury Junior, {drives another tuiil along the wall and hangs another coat) And now to spread my frugal re[iast. {gets clotli fn-m sideboard L.) A little too clean t'» appeal to the emotions, but here's a stunning hole, we'll turn that CHKISTOPHER JUNIOR. 7 to the front, (spreaih cloth) 1 ought to have some bread and butter. No, no butter, butter betokens affluence. Bread I Just plain last month's bread ! And a red herring ! That herring idea was an inspiration ! I told the landlady to send out for one ! There is no such sign of abject poverty as a red herring ! ((jets cup, saucer and teapot) That's a good old family relic, I'll be bound ! Shouldn't like to be respon- sible for all the scandal thaVs heard 1 {referring to teapot) Ah ! (jjetshowl) here is some nice, soft, sandy looking sugar 1 That's good ! {knock at door l.) Not at home ! {pauses) Perhaps it's the red herring ! {goes to door as if to speak to someone departing) Here, hold on. {goes out) Enter Nelly from K. ; she carries a torn patchwork counterpane. Nelly. His counterpane 1 I'd mend it if I could find a needle ! {remains atopeiidvor K., examiidng counterpane) Jed. J. (outside) Oh, yes, one will be quite enough {re- enters R., carrying a large loaf and a herring in a piece of paper ; he turns and sees Nelly ; they stand for a moment on the opposite thnsholds, lo<>kiii,g at one another, then Nelly bursrs o\d crying, shouts '■^ Chris ! " and runs as he adiances, and throws her arms about his neck ; drops counterijane by R.D. Nelly. Chris, mv poor Chris ! Jed. J. By Jove, it's our Nell come home from school I Here, Nelly, hold up. You're crying all over the herring, and it's been salted once. Nelly. I couldn't help it, Chris, I am so unhappy. Jed. J. What about ? Nelly. {a.4onished) What about ? Jed. J. {following her glance) Oh, these quarters. Well, they're not altogether eighteen carat, what of that ? {placespar- cels on table and puts on coat which he wore at his first entrance. Nelly. You brave boy ! {goes up and lifts counterpane) Jed. J. {aside) Now, for the first time I feel like a scoundrel. I consider it a meritorious action to deceive the Guv'nor, but it's an outrage on Nelly. Nelly, {coming r.c.) Chris, won't you tell me how it has all happened ? Jed. J. Why, of course I will. But first, let's have a look at you. {turning her round) Quite a little Parisienne, I declare. Well, you've taken me by surprise, Nelly, but it's better than not taking me at all. Kelly. Surprise ! Then Mamma didn't write you that I was to meet them here ? Jed. J. Them ? So Mamma's coming too, eh 1 Well, I might as well tak« the whole dose at once. 8 ^ CHRISTOPHER JUiflOR. Neily. Then it is as I expected. YouVe had another quarn^l with Papn,. Jkd. .). (l.c.) Not another! Only a continuation of the s.ime old original row ! {taking herlmiuL) Nelly, you are not a child now, and you can undu -stand. Christopher, junior, 1.-; and has been a pre' ty bid case, but Christopher, senior, has never done the square thing, upon my honour. The fact is, Nelly Nelly. Excuse me, Chris, but I decline to hear another syllable till you have eatm your breakfast, {goes to table) Shall I pour you out a cup of tea ? Jed. J. {q^dckly foUowinrj) No— no — you don't understand that teapot ! I've some new photog»-aphs over there — amateur theatricals, you know — go and have a look at 'em. Nelly. Oh, yes ! {she goes lo mantel and examines photos) Jed. J. (he opens lid of teapot) {asi'Jt^) Empty ! I forgot all about the tea. Well, I hate tea, anyhow. I know what [ should like though, {looks totrards sideboard and then at tea- pot) By Jove, that's a brilliant idea, {sees that her attention is attracted by photos— goes to sideboard, pours some brandy into teapot, and then f.quirts some soda from syphon in, ii'utching Nelly all the time) {noise of syph->n is Nelly's cue to speak) Nelly, {examining photos) What is this, Chris 1 Jed. J. {ahsenlly) That's tea. Nelly. Eh? Jed. J. Yes, T for Tom, you know. Thomas k Eecket. In the play. Nelly. I didn't know that Thomas k Becket wore a powdered wig. J ED. J. {coming down with teapot) Not that one — the other felh'W at the corner, {povrs out a cnp of soda and brandy and drinks it) Nelly. Oh, how funny you look in this one. (latiyhs) [blioivs it) Jed. J. Hamlet ! Yes, I lo is funny in that I Nelly, {going up n. and glancing at books) 1 am very gUd to know that you keep up your reading. Jed. J. {rushing up ; uneasllij) Don't touch those. You won't understand them ! {taking her away) They're Chinese. Nelly. Chinese ! How clever you must be ! {crosses in front to tai'leh ) Cln-is, I think I'll have a cup of tea. Jed. j. No, don't. You wouldn't enjoy it, it's cold I (e. of table) Nelly, (l. of toMe ; putting her hand on teapot) So it is } just as cold as a stone. CHEISTOPIIER JUNIOR. 9 Jed. J. Yes, I like it like that. Nelly. Well, sit down to your breakfast and I'll sifc opposite and talk to ytiu ,vhile you eat. {site sits and he Ivuki hopci^^s) Jed. J. The fact is, I'm not hungry just now. Really I — Nelly. I insist ! If you don't I will go away this raonienfc and wait in the street, {he sighs and si '•< into chair) Now I will cut the bread for you (pattsing aUh loaf) I suppose you have grown to like it thick these days. Jed, J. Not too thick, {ivatchcs her measure ahont a Udrd of loaf) Nelly. Well, medium then. (c?tts three-inch slice and gives it) Jed. J. (aside) That is what she calls medium, (makes pretence of eating) Nelly. Here is a fork for your fish. Jed. J. Thanks awfully ! (ents some of herring, then secretes small portion behind chair ; aside) Oh, for a friendly feline puss, puss ! Why did 1 discourage that cat's advances t {takes a drink ; eats) Nelly, (seeing him eat) That is better. Now tell me, how did you come to this state of insolvency ? Jed. J. (carelessly) Oh, by degrees. I have never been able to keep out of debt on Dad's allowance, and instead of per- mitting me to augment that ailowan e by going in o busi- ness he has always insisted on a profession, {rises and goes c Nelly rises.) But come, Nell, ch er up, that long fa^e does not sit well on a debutante. By the bye, when is the tlare up? (swiigs her ro mid) Nelly (crosses to R.c.) My dance? Next Wednesday. You are coming down ? {with a')dmation ; he shakes his head) But you nmst, if it is only to meet Dora. Jed. J. Dora? And who is Doia? Nelly, {rapturously) A darling 1 Jed. J. Really 1 Nelly. Chris, I want you to fall desperately in love with her. Jed. J. H'm ! What's she like ? Nelly. Oh, very clever. Not a bit like me — quite superior 1 Jed. J. (aside) That lets me out I She's safe 1 Nelly. She's quite old. Jed. J. (uninterested) Ah I Nelly. Almost twenty- one. Jed. j. (interested) Oh ! And what would such an aged person be doing in a convent school ? Nelly. Studying special branches. Yes, she has made up her mind to become a nun. Chris, I feel sure she haa a history — a past, you know. 10 CHRISTOPnER JUNIOR. Jed. J. {vAth mock seriousness) Mo? (aside, L.C.) Blue spectacles and a broken heart, (alotid) Wt-11, if I'm invited. I'll run down to see the last of a certain jolly little girl (embraces her) who is going to degenerate into a society lady. (looks at watcJi) What tiuie did you expect to be called for ? Nelly. Mamma said about twelve. Jed. J. And Dad said about eleven. Well, that is as near as they ever agree about muythhig. Nelly. Do they still go for weeks without speaking to one another except through Whimper 1 Jed. J. I imagine so. Mrs. Glibb (off) George, these stairs I Jed. J. Hush— here they are. Nelly, (going to door L. and listeiiing) No, it isn't Mamma and Papa, for they are talking quite amiably. Mrs. G. (outside) But, George ! it cannot be bo far up 1 Jed. J. Confound it, it's the Glibbs. Nelly. Who are the Glibbs ? Jed. J. (r.c.) Mrs. Glibb is the founder of the Anti-Pitch and Toss Society. Nelly. And Mr. Glibb 1 Jed. J. Mr. Glibb— Oh, well, he's just Mrs. Glibb's husband, {knock at door ; Jed. J. puis Jinger on his lips ; Nelly goes up and round to R. ) Mrs. G. (puts her head in door L.) Mr. Jedbury Ied. J. (aloud) Not at home I ^«'*; Enter Mrs. Glibb, followed by Mr. Glibb. Jed. J. (crosses ^oith pretended astonishment) Ah ! how de do? Delighted! I said, "Not at home," didn't I? Absurd habit of mine ! Always say, " Not at home " when I mean *' Come in.'' (is shaking hands all the time with Glibb, wIvo is perfectly apathetic) Permit me, my sister Nelly — Mr. and Mrs. Glibb. This is Mr. Glibb. (Glibb releases himself and sits on stool at side of table h. ) Mrs. G. (k.c.) (crossing there) Delighted ! Have heard about you from your dear mother, (shakes Nelly's hand ; effusively to Glibb) George, Miss Jedbury, Christopher's sister, (tie slowly 7iods) Pardon tho familiarity. Miss Nelly, but while in town I have been endeavouring to act a mother's pare to your naughty brother, and Mr. Glibb (looking at him for corroboration) takes the moat vivid interest in the rogue. Glibb's countenatice must he absolutely devoid of exprea- sion now and through the entire play, Nelly, (o.) It is very kind of him. CHIIISTOPHER JUNIOR. 11 Mrs. G. It is. But he is so energetic. Christopher ! (Ionics round) Surely these are not the apartments we visited before ? Jed. J. (l.c.) (aside) Damn it; ehe'U spoil everything. (aloud) Oh yes 1 They've shrunk a bit in the cleaning, bub they're the same. Mrs. G. We had no idea it was so far up. Jed. J. Ah ! ycu must have judged by the going doifm. It isn't half so far going down, (aside to Nelly) D(.n't take any notice of her. No memory -drinks 1 Mrs. G. And where is your grand piano ? (looking at Glibb) It was a grand, was it not, George 1 (Glibb sloivly opens his month as if to speak) Ah, I thought so ! (aside to Nelly, in lowered voice) Mr. Glibb is always the personifica- tion of accuracy. (Glibb begins his business sloivly) But the piano, where is it gone ? Don't tell me you've lent it to a friend, you reckless boy. (to Nelly) He has absolutely no idea of the value of money, (diiring follounng dialogue Glibb absently pours out liquid from teapot iido cvp ; Christopher tries to catch his eye, and looks appealingly at him, but he sips and then drinks the cupful douni unth a perfectly stolid countenance. Christopher dratvs a long sigh of relief — this busiiifss must not be hurried) Ten pounds, my dear, for wax dolls to give to the bootblacks' sisters at our last annual excursion— Mr. Glibb was compelled to lecture him severely, (goes to ma')it:l and exomines photos) An excellent picture ! Full of force, (puts the photo dou-n) And that brings me to the object of our visit, (comes down, K.C.) Mr. Glibb is dying to know if you wont give us a recitation in character— s^jmelhing funny, you know — at our recital for butchers' boys. Jed. J. With pleasure. Mrs. G. (tapping him on shmdder) Good boy ! (to Nelly) To eradicate the gambling instinct, it is necessary to supply the infant mind with constant diversion. Yoit must j in our association, (crosses to L.c.) Now, Christopher, we are going to take one turn round the park, and Mr. Glibb thinks we might persuade your sister to accompany us. /Slie shall be restored to you in an hour. Nelly. Thank you very much. Mrs. G. (crossing L.c.) Then come along ; George, are you quite ready 1 (aside to Nelly, who crosses l., in loin red voire) I should like you to become better acqua-nted with Mr. Gliiib. He's a wonderfrd man ! Au revoir, Chiist(jpher. We will take good care of your oister. Come, Gtrorge 1 Glibb rises : Mrs. Glibb takes Nelly's arm and exits 12 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. L. ; GhiBB follows to door and then pauses, opens hi* mnvth as if to speak to Jedbury Junior, when Mrs. Glibb's voice is heard again outside. IMks. G. (outside) George ! (Glibb subsides and goes quietly of) Jed. J. Ha, Ha 1 Mr. Glibb is quite garrulous this morn- ing. He coughed once, and I caught him elevating his eyebrows on two distinct occasions, (closes door) (going c. ; fedinn his chin) Hang it all. Job forgot to shave me ! Why isn't "a fellow taught to shave at school ? He might practise on the masters. Well, if things continue at this downhill })ac3 I shall have to study the art, so I might as well begin at once, (going to bedroom R.) I think I'd better shut the door, for if 1 were disturbed it might be fatal. (taJces torn coat and exits into bedroom, shutting door) After slight fiause a knock on door L. , followed by the entrance of Christopher Jedbury Senior, Mrs. Jedbury and Whimper ; ihi latter carries Mr. Jed- bury's stii^k in one hand and Mrs. Jedbury's parasol in the other ; Jedbury looks round the room, then walks across to R.c. ; Whimper takes up his posi- tion in the middle, and Mrs. Jedbury sits L. Mrs. J. (hysterically) What a barbarous apartment 1 Jed. S. (r.) Whimper! Whim, (respectfidly but without the slightest inflection of voice) Yes, sir? Jed. S. My compliments to your mistress, and if she doesn't like the apartment she can get out of it. Whim, (roitho'd moving) Yes, sir. {now turns his head to Mrs. J. and gives the least cough) Mr. Jedbury suggests, madam, that it would be more comfortable to you to remain below in the carriage. Mrs. J. Let your master know that my remarks were not addressed to hiin. Whim. Yes, Ma'am, (moving onhi his head and giving the $ame introductory cough) (To Jedbury Senior) Madam is content to remain for the present, (remains im,movable) Jed S. (walking to L. and back again) A pretty state of affairs for my son. Ab.solute paiipeidom ! I suppose he tiiinks that the knowledge of his condition will soften my resolution. The sptndtliriit will tind that he is mistaken. Mrs. J. (sitting r of table) I regret that I directed my d;iugl)ter here, amid such squalor. (Jurns face I4.', sees herring, bus.) Jed. S. (e.g.) Whimper! CHRISTOPIIEU JUNIOR. 13 WnTM. Yes, sir. Jkd S. You can rcniind your mistress that what is good enough for my son is good enough for her daughter. Mrs. J. Whimper ! Whim. Yes, ma'am? Mus. J. If your master wishes to openly insult nie, pray don't let him restrain himself on my account, (a scremn heard frum inside of bedroom) Wliimj-cr ! Thei'e is a tragedy being perpetrated in that room. Give me my parasol, {he obeys) J fin. S. Whimper, come with me. (thry all approach door — Jedbuky, Whimper is in the middle, Mks Jedf.ury. Jed J. comes out withoiit his coat and a gash on his chin from shaving. Mrs. Jedbury drops paiasol and rushes at him ; Whimper /ai/s hack to (x, and Jed. S. drops down r. ) Mrs. J. Christopher, my son ! Jed. J. (falling on her shonlder) Mother ! (aside) Tableau ! (aloiid) Excuse me ! (darts into room and relm-ns in torn ccat, lo' king jienitent) Mrs. J. (hysterically, L.c.) My poor boy, I thought som'- thing f.arful had occurred. Say, oh say, that you were .lot about to take your life. Jed. J. (r.c.) No, mother, I was trying to shave. Mr.s. J. (melod'amaticcdly) Thank Heaven for that! (crossing to L. chair) Jed. S. (r.) Whimper, tell your mi tress not to make a fool of herself. Whim. Y^es, sir. (turns his head and coughs as before) Mrs. J. Whimper, tell your master that I .shouldn't dream of usurping his privilege. Jed. J. (adjusting court plaster to his chin) Nelly has been here, mother. Mrs. J. (with dignity) We met her on the stairs below, — the carpett d stairs, thank goodness ! Mrs. (ilibb has kindly consented to drop her at our hotel. Jed J. (c.) I regret, sir, th .t 1 am compelled to entertain you in such humble quarters, but circum.stances (displayitHj torn coat) over which I have nocomrol Jed. S. (r.) The circum.stances don't api)ear to have got down to your boots yet. Jed. J. (aside) Diuce take it, I forg't all about the boots ! (aloud) It's a man's duty to keep up a|)peararces, and though my clothes (ostentatioi'sly hntloning coat) may look expensive they are not ! I borrowed them from a friend. Jed S. (pointing at those hanging on wall) Thoso are al»o borrowed from a friend, eh 1 14 CHEISTOPHER JL'NIOR. Jed J. (turning) Those ? Oh, no. (confused) That's the stock 1 Jed S. The stock'i Jed. J. Yes, I— I'm going into the business. Jed. S. Indeed I So you haven't disgraced me enough 1 Well, it is to discuss your future I am here. Jed. J. Delighted, (mom-nfully) Hope you'll stay a month or two. I mean an hour or two. Jed S. Ten minutes will be sufficient for the little I have to say, but that little I should prefer to say in ptivate. (looking pointedly at Mrs. Jedbury) In private! (turns up k.) Mrs. J. Whimper ! (crosses tvith dignity) I have no wish to linger where 1 am not wanted. l^xit Ij., followed by Whimper at respectful distance^ who leaves J f.dbvuy's stick against chair by l.d. Jed. S. And now, sir ? (comes donm l.) Jed. J. (aside) It's coming ! (to him) H'm — take a chair 1 Jed. S. (sits l. by table) I am a man of few words. Jed. J. Now I'm in for a synopsis of his entire career. Jed. S. At ten years of age Jed. J. (sitting r.c.) I thought so. Jed. S. I had completed my school education. Jed. J. Yes, sir. Jed. S. At twenty I was a clerk in an East India House, At thirty I was a small trader on my own account. Jed. J. Yes, sir. Jed. S. At fifty I am a millionaire. Now, sir, by what means have I arrived at this pinnacle '{ Jed. J. I give it up. Jed. S. By planning a line of action and by following chat line with industry and undeviating rule. I m.iy say, sir, that HI all my career I have never made a blunder. Jed. J. Indeed. I tho-ught you were resp. nsible f.-r my existence. Jed. S. That is not the question. That you are a blunder is the disappointment of my life, for I looked, with my money and iulluence, to make an aristocrat and a gentleman of you. Jed. J. (rising u'ith impuhive anger) In other words you wanted another background for your vanity. It was not a question of giving your son the benefits you h;id been denied, but it was, " My son is a gentleman. VVho made him such ? Chri.stopher Jedbury, the trader, (getting more angry) My son is reading for the Bar, will in time t.-econic a judge —who has provided the money ? Christopher Jedbury, the mer- chant ! '■ Pah ! (goes up then down c.) (pause) Fojgive ine, father, I lost my self-control. CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 15 Jed. S. I was not aware you ever possessed any. Jed. J. (quietly) I know that I shall never be able to satisfy you in the way that you desire, but I have a business h< ad and a honest desire to put my practicability to the test,. Why not give me a trial ? Jed. S. And your education may go to the winds, (sneer- ingly) Oh, certainly. Which do you prefer — the counting- house or the produce department ? You forget, sir, that the first requisite of a business man is brains. Jed. J. And what proof have you that I lack brains ? Jed. S. Your reckless extravagance. Elder Job l. ; he begins to remove things from table. Jed. J. {seriously) You started late in life to inculcate lessons of econouiy. You put me among a certain set. I did as I saw the others do. (tries to catch Job's eye, but jai'.s) Job begins clearing table, putting things on sideboard at back. Jed. S. (rises and goes h.) Whom have we here? (Job comes c, carrying plates) Jed J. Oh, nobody in particular, (aside) Why the devil did you come back ? Job. (cowtes l c. ) I thought you was done, sir. I've been aU over Westminster Abbey. Jed. S. Introduce us. Jed. J. Certainly (aside) — (aloud) Mr. Job t Jed. S. Job— Job what ? Jed. J. (aside) Handed if I know, (to Job) What is your confounded name, besides Job? Job. Smith, sir. I — I'm very sorry, sir. Jed. J. Smith — of course! Smith — my father! IMy father — Smith. Smith and I are old cbuuis. He comes in and out, and makes himself quite at home. Don't you Smith ? (tlmmps him on the back; knife and fork fall) Jed. S. Proud to know you. (up to him) You'll pard-jn the little tete-a-tete, (extends his 1 and ; Job retreats) Jed. J. Oh, you needn't mind, Job — I mean Smith. We have no secrets, (goes up c.) (aside) Get out! (watches Job nervously till he exits into bei'.room R.) Jed. S. (sitssi. of table) Well, lo return to our subject. T was about to make you a proposition. I want you to uiairy. (Jed. J. looks vp qnicklg) Don't be in a hurry to decline. It is the only way to retrieve your social position and my g.'iod opinion. The lady is a niece of Major Hedway, a retired army officer, who has just purchased an interest in our Bombay house. This union will expand our resources and knit up our interests. 16 CHRISTOPHER JUJS'IOR. Jed. J. (sarcasticnlhj) I see, you want to boom up the busine-s. Jed. S. (ignoring his tone) The girl has a fortune in her own right. She talks about going into a convent, but she is young and impressionable, ami will doiibtli-ss change her mind. Well, there is your chance, (rises) Win this you^g lady and you shall have fifty thousand pounds and your bills receipted on your weddini^ day. Take time to consider. Let nie see- this is Tuesday, we retur>i to Devonshire on Satur- day. Suppose you run down for Nt-Uy's ball next weok. In case you wish to communicate with me before then, we are stay- ing at the Burlington (goes to L.D. aitd takes stick) (Jed. JuNiOK bows) And now I'll leave you to chew the cad of my advice, and I warn you -(stick business) — that your entire future as my son may depend on your decision. Jed. J. (accompanying him to door L.) You shall have an answer this day week without fail, (bow from Jed. Senior.) (exit Jed, Senior) Ah ! It was the easiest way to get rid of him. \\ ell, it only wanted this to make my collapse com- plete, (walking to and fro) Marry ! How the deuce cotdd I 1 — even if I wanted ^o ! If I am not the most unfortunate dog that ever lived, I'll be hanged. Enter Bellaby t. Bell, (l.c.) Don't, old chap. Hanging is become so beastly common. Jed. J. (r.c.) (seizing his hand nbmptly) By Jove, the very man I want. Bell. What is it ? A point on probate — libel — or (looking at room) sudden eviction 1 Jed, J. Tom, don't be flippant. I m in a hole and want you to help me. Bell. Professional job, eh ! (aside) My first I (to him) I'm all attention, (sits, L.) (Iiat bvs.) I'm all attention. Jed. J, (sits, r,c ) You remember, two years ago, my going on a voyage to Trinadad ? Bkll. Yes, and I remember your coming back un- expectedly the next week. Climate too hot, wasn't it ? Jed. J, Well— yes ! The place did become rather warm. The fact is, I got into an awful scrape. Bell. I guessed as much. Well 1 Jed. J. VVell, on the trip out we had an awfnl passage and I kept my cabin till the night before we landed. Then, feeling like having a cigar, I strolled about on deck until the lights were out. I started on a voyage of discovery for my cabin. Finally I reached it, and seeing by a faint streak of moonlight a bundle ia the lower berth, which T thought to CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 17 be my clothes laid out for packing, I just pulled my coat off and jumped into the upper berth {movement of Bell.) In two seconds 1 was sound asleep. I don't know how long I remained so, when the sound of a gei.tle undulating snore (mocement of Bellaby forward) began to mix with my dreams. I did not recognise it as my own, and that awoke me. Bell. And the snore ? Jed. J. Went placidly on. I thought of the bundle in the lower berth and I struck a match. By its flickering light (rises) I saw a sight which seemed to paralyse my spinal column. Hanging on the door peg was a sort of bifurcated jacket, connected by a trellis work down the back. Bell. You don't mean to say Jed. J. Corsets ; I do ! Sit down ! In a flash I was out of that berth, and with coat in hand was making a graceful exit. Bell. By Jove ! what a spree ! Jed. J. Was it ? The spree, as you call it, hadn't com- menci d. I opened the door and made a bolt. Bell. Into yuur own cabin? (rises) Jed. J. No, — sit down (pvts him, back) — into the arms of an elderly military individual, who appeared to be doing the sentry act in front of the lady's cabin. I endeavi urtd to ex- plain but as he had set his heart on my gore, there was nothing to do but to exchange cards, and trust in a just Heaven to kill the Colonel before the meeting came off. Bell. And did the just Heaven come up to time? Jed J. No, not a bit of it. I had been in Trinidad about two hours when I received a note from the Colonel He had changed his mind about killing me. Instead, he intended to marry me. Bell. Eh ? (attempts to rise) Jed. J. (pushing him back) To his daughter Matilda ; and don't keep bobbing abuut He notified me that, notwith- standing his daughter's disinclination, nothing should prevent the ceremony from taking place in three days, and that if 1 premeditated escape I should l)e merely offering my carcase as a target for his men. Now, there was a peculiar circum- stance about this note. He addressed me (patises embarrassed) — well, not by my own name. I looked for an explanation. Bell. Where? Jed. J, In my card case. Bell. Oh, I see. You had given him someone else's card by mistake ? (rising) Jed. J. H'm, yes ! That's it— by mistake, (aside) I can't tell him that it was his own. (alond) Oh, I acted in good faith, but you see it was in the dark, {'"jj to him) 18 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. Bell, (nwhjing him) I say, what a joke on the other fellow! Jed. J. (muhjing back) Capital, wasn't it. Bell. By the bye, who was it ? Wh.it was h^b name? Jed. J. Oh, yes, the name. Well, the name — tl.e name — was Glibb. Bell. Your th accents Major. Finished dinner, Whimper? Whimp. (r.c.) Yes, sir. Coffee will be served here, sir. If you'll kindly take a seat, pir. Major, (r.c.) Very good. Are we the first 1 Whimp. Yes, sir. (Wruiper pins red floiver in the Mxjon'a coat) Major. What's became of my niece, Miss Dora? Whimp. She went up to see Miss Jedbury in her room, sir. Major. Are you expecting many ladies this evening. Whimper? Whimp. A good many young la lies, sir. (slightly up stage L.C.) Major. Real'y ! Really ! (turning) How is my coat ? Whimp. (coming dozen and arranging his coat) A little— that's all right, sii\ Major. No crease? W^HIMP None, sir Major, (r. ) 4 man approaching the prime of life cannot be ton jiarticular about creases, whether they are in his coat, or his constitution. Do you play chess, Whimper ? Whimp. No, sir ; but draughts is a game — Major. Draughts be damned. Whimp. Yes, sir. Majop.. Mow c/(c.s-s stimulates the mental faculties. Whimp. (respectfully wUhdraivii g) Anything more, sir ? Major Yes It renews the exhausted vitality. Look afc ni'' ! Who would believe that I was forty last birthday ? Whimp. (on alewl !i»7/i, Major — after paube) Nobody, sir. Major, (up to Jtim confidt-nHcdly) The recipe is a secret, but I'll give it to you. A twenty minutes' .sleep to be taken twice a day after tne.iLs, and a faitliful application to tlie game of rjicss. D(Mi't forget tliat, Whimper ! (dcnru R.) Whimp. No, sir. (exit c. to R. after waiting for Jed, Sew.) 22 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. Enter Christopher Jedbtjry Senior, o. from a. Jed. S. Ah, Major, as punctual as ever — always the first, eh? Major. You forget I am a military man. {shakes hands heartily) Jed. S, Say rather that you were a military man, for your signature to those papers has transformed you into an East Ind:a merchant. * Major. All owing to the contemptible ingratitude of the nation that puts a young and able-bodied man on the retired list, Jed. S. The nation's loss is my gain, Major. Your influence with the Rajahs will double our Bombay profits in a year. Major. I wouldn't be too sure of that, (laughs) There was never a Hedway yet that knew enough about business to get change for a shilling —unless it was the Queen's shilling. (sits on scat K. of stairs) Jed. S. Well, it is my risk. And as for you, man must have an occupation, if only to keep him out of mischief. Major, (nodding) And my liver won't let me exist out of India. Jed. S. Your niece talks of remaining behind, I under- Btaiid. Major. Yes, Dora's got her mind fixed on a convent. (la^ighs) A convent 1 It's enough to make the dead and gone Hedways come out of their graves I (rises) She says she wants tranquillity. Now, if she would only learn chess — you play cliess, Jedbury 1 (crosses h.) Jed. S. a very little, (voices off) Here are the ladies. This is the only corner of the house left us. Major. Every- where else is given to Nelly and her young folks, (looks at watcli) We've just time for a cup of cotiee in peace and quiet, (crosses L.) Enter Mrs. Jedbury and Mrs Glibb, k.u.e. ; they are chatting ; Mr. Glibe follows. Mrs. J. (shakiiuj hands) Welcome to Devonshire, Major. (lurning) Our friends, Mr. and Mrs. Glibb, Major Hedway. {she goes up back and drops dotun to sit head of table after Glibb is seated L.) Posiiions : — Mrs. Jedbury, r.c. ; Mrs. Glibb, c. ; Mr. Glibb, l.c. Glibb comes foruard as if to sliake hands, Intt Mrs. Glibb steps in, front C(j him, atid he goes to his seat, txtretne h. CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 23 Mi:s. G. Deliglited ! So good of Mrs. Jedbury to invite U'-. Mr. Glibb will be enchnnted to know you. He takes Kii-h an int<>rest in the niiliti i. {lowering her voice) Nature intended Mr. Glibb for a soWier — a leader of nations — but unfortunately he met me (s^(ihs) Major. And surrendered. (gallantly) Sure, it's no wonder, (they sit— Mrs. G. e. of stairs^ Major on her left) Enter Whimfer nnth coffee. Mrs. J. Will you have some cofTee, Mrs. Glibb? Mrs. G. Tliank you. (to Glibb ivho is about to take cvp from Whimper) George, you had better not take any. It makes him so excitable. (Whimper crosses r. to Mrs. G. ; Major avd Jed. S. r.) Jed. S. {on cliair l. of stairs — tasting coffee and turning to Glibb) This is somotliing peculiai'ly fine ; I import it myself from Java. (Glibb loKkilomjinghj at Jed. S.'s ciip ; Mrs. G. converses inandMy with the IVTajor while Jed. S. eontiiiues to address Glibb) Ah, my dear Glibb, you are not in business, I believe ? {Glibb shakes his head and prepares to speak) An arduous life, sir, and one which makes great demands on the intellectual faculties. The reward comes when a man can lean back — {leans back) in his chair and survey the result of his own uniided etforts. {tastes coffee. Whimper at table l.) Whimper, (rises) my compliments to your mistress, and lam acuustomed to take sugar in my coffee, {hands cup to Whimper and goes up at back ; Whimper is at table) Mrs. J. Whimper! (Whimper crosses r.) Yiur master has already had three lumps. If he chooses to ruin his digestion it is no affair of mine, {crosses R. and sits L of stairs ; Whimper carries it to Jed. S., who signs to him to put it on table ; Jedbury then absently hands smjar to Glibb, ?/'/to, ha'.nng no coffee, qnielln takes wgar and eats if, Mrs. G Then you have never entered the matrimonial field, Major? Major. No, that is the only engagement I ever ran away from Woman is man's natural born enemy. Mrs. J But you've been told to love your enemy, Major. Jed. S. Bah ! Major. True, and as a God-fearing man, I've — I've done it. It has been at onue my pain and my delight to love them all — at a distance. Mrs G. But it was your duty to make a choice. Major. What— and slight all the otliers ? Mrs. J. Ah, Major Ileuway, you've njvcr been under fire Major. Indeed I have, but after taking an inventory of »ny wounds I have always come to the conclusion that dis- 24 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. cretion Is the hefc^.e^ part of valour. (Whimper exits quietly tkrowjh door R. U.K. ) Ah, ah ! Allow me ! {rises and crosses to table L. with Mrs. G.'s cnp) Mrs. G. Indeed. Quite a character, and I adore charac- ter. Major Hedway, you must positively come to our next theatrical performance. Major. Delighted, (comes c.) Mrs J. They're making quite a stir in the dramatic world. Major. Ah ! Indeed. Mrs. G. Now, Major! {taps him with fan) Only yester- day {going up to Mrs. J.) the committee waited on Mr, Glibb in a body and in)plortid him, positively implored him, to forsake the amateur for the professional stage. Major. God bless me ! Mrs. G. He expostulated with them for two hours. {appealing to Glibb) It must have been quite two hours, George ? {Glibb prepares to speak) Yes, I thought so. And in spite of all his arguments they would not take no for an answer. Major. H'm 1 Mrs. J. It was very flattering, {rises, crosses down R., puts cup on mantel) Mrs. G. Mr. Glibb's own remark. It iras flattering. {crosMS L to Major) Major Hedway, I should like you to become better acquainted with Mr. Glibb. {impressively) He's a wonderful man. Mrs. J. {going up) Major, {crosses to R.c.) will you take Mrs. Glibb to the ball room 1 I must look after the young people (63 it R.u.E.) Major, (aside, looking at Glibb) I wonder if the mummy will offer any objection ! Mrs. G. (c. ) Heady, Major, {turning, he turns towards stairs and offers his arm) Don't you trouble to come, George. {to the Major) He has such a highly strung temperament, that I am compelled to curb his activity. Enter Whimper c, joes to Jed. S., takes cup, crosses to table s..^ takes it off c. ; Major and Mrs. G. exit up stage. Jed. S. (rixcs — to Gltbh) A man of great nerve, the M ijor. (GuBB, sugar budufss) Well connected, too. Lived in India all his life. Must of the native princes are frienda of his. (both exit r.u.e.) Whimpkr. Well, if the Major's the result of c/iesa, draughts is good enough for me. Enter Jed. J. through archway CR. ; he is vainly strug- qliag to fix his white tie ; one end is m'lch longer than tihe other, and the bow sticks under his chin. CHKISTOPilEU JUNIOll. 25 Jed. J. (exi^itedly) Not a sign of a let ter from Tom, and I've ruined myself in telegrams. If he hasn't found any- thing out, why the duce couldn't he wire and say S)? (pulling at tie) I knew it, and this is the last one. I've mined tliree. I've a good mind to put my pocket handkerchief round my neck. How does Job manage these things '{ I miLdit as well be on a desert island for all the assistance I shall find here. {tears tie off) Confound the thing ! {throws it on the floor) Enter Dora, r.u.e. Dora, (l.o., gently) No, don't do that 1 Let me tie it for you. Jed. J. (r.c, aside) The grey dove in pink plumage ! Dora. (l.c., aside) Young Mr. Jedhury's eccentric friend. {both stoop for the tie and knock their heads together) Jed. J. I beg ten thousand pardons {botJi hold tie) Dora. One will do. {smiles) I've had harder knocks than that, (pntsfan and handkerchief on chair L. of stairs ; flips tie away from him ; taking He) Hold up your chin. (Dora puts tie round his neck) Jed. J. But I couldn't think of — {turns his head away) Dora, {impatiently jerking his head round) Oh yes, you could. Jed. J. But really I — (turning his head away] Who the deuce — 1 Dora. If you don't want to be strangled you had better keep still, (arranges tie) Jed. J. (aside) Who on earth can she be 1 (Dora jerks his head round ana he remains gazing at her till she hasflnished) Dora. There, I think that will do. (steps back and goes up a little) Jed. J. I'm sure it will, beautifully, (aside) I wish I could get it undone again, (crosses L. aloud) If it wouldn't be troubling you too much, you might tighten this wibbly- wobbly bit. (Dora does so) Dora, There, (going) Nuw. remember, the next time you have any differences of opinion with a white tie you must exercise a little patience, and don't "C(mft)ind the thing," for J may not be by to settle your dithciiltii s. Good l)ye. (picks rip fan and leaves her handkerchief without noticing and exits R. ) Jed. J. (looking after he>-) She's gone, confound it ! Who is she 1 She's an apparition— must be. Now you see her, now you don't. Yes, she's a vision— a vision of loveliness. Hello ! (picks up handkerchief) A spiritual pocktthandker- chief. (look^ at corner) " D.H." Now what does " D.H." stand fori Dark horse — dead heat- damned huri^—i/iat fits 26 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. her best, I wonder if I could improve the acquainfance? {sigfiinfj) Perhaps Matilda wouldn't like it. (enter Nelly, R.u.E. ; puts handkerchief in pocket) Why haven't I heard from Tom ? Nelly, (r.o.) Hallo ! Chris ! Jed. J. Nell, has Tom Bellaby turned up yet? Nelly, (pouting) No ; and I think it's very rude of him to be so late, (crosses to stairs) Jed. J, Of course it is. He's a scoundrel of the first order. He promised to write to me, here, on a matter of the utmost importance. Nelly, are you quite sure there was no letter for me yesterday ? Nelly, (shaking her head) Quite sure. I should have seen it. Jed. J. Nelly, who is the pink girl ? (Both by stairs) Nelly. What is she like ? Jed. J. Don't ask me, Nell. She's a sort of angelic ghost. {(joes L.c.) Nelly. The description is too vague, (going to him) Remember you have promised to make yourself agreeable to my friend, Dora. As soon as I have helped Mamma to say how d'ye do to everybody I'll introduce you. (up R.) Jed J, Where is father ? Nelly. I don't know. I think he and mother have had a tiff since dinner. Whimper seems to be very busy. But I must run away. Mind, T expect you to pay great attention to Dora. (Nelly exits up staircase r.) Jed. J. Certainly. Meanwhile (enter Whimper frim L.i.e.) I'll try and find my Will-o'-the-Wisp. (looking off archway) There she is agnin. Whimf. I beg your pardon, sir. Have you seen the mastei ? Jed. J. No, Whimper ; who is that young lady 1 Whimi (looking off) Miss Hedway, sir. Major Hed way's niece, (tur-ns L. and goes up stage) Jed. J. By Jove 1 My intended ! (looks off) Ah I she's gone, (exit r.) Whimp. I wur wife, is to be found, {sits L.c.) It will be difficult to obtain evidence of the ceremony, but I should advise you to steer clear of matrimony till more can be learned. I am sorry for you, old man, but if you will get yourself into equivocal situations you must take the consequences. — Yours always, T. B." {Looking at envelope) " Christopher Jedbury, Enquire." This must be a mistake. " T.B." Ah, it is from young Bellamy, and it is intended for my son. {glances quicMy over letter, tlien starts) So, the young blackguard is married and separated from his wife — a fitting climax to his disgraceful career. {crosses L., walking to and fro, crushing the letter in silent passion) And not a word, not a word about it, when T sug- gested marriage to him. I have invited this rascal to my house, {si(ddenly) He shall not remain here, (c.) I have been weak — weak — but this ends it. (sits chair up stage L.) My son — for whom I have toiled, that he might rest — for whom I have savt d money that he might spend it. The boy who was to have shed lustre on the name of Jedbury The gentleman who was to have raised the tradesman to the summit of his ambition. And this— this is the end of my life's work. EnterJED. J. at archway R., looking back, Jed. J. It's no use. The spectre's vanished again, {he comes downstairs, sees Jed. S.) What's the matter, father? You don't seem well, (starts to come down) Jed. S. {hiding letter) I will give him a chance of explain- ing, {aloud) It is nothing I have been thinking of business. By-the-bye, Christopher, what about my proposition ? Jed. J. (c.) {goes tip io him a little carelessly) Proposition? Ah ! Well, I've been considering it. Jed. S. {watching him narrowly) Indeed? And your reply is favourable ? Jed. J. Distinctly favourable ! (Jed. S. controls his temper with dificxdty) I have had the good fortune to see the lady. Jed, S. (sneeri)igly) Oh ! And you approxe of her ? Jed J. I don't like your way of putting it. The que.-tion is, whether she is ever likely to approve of me. I say ever because I shouldn't think of asking her yet awhile. Jed S. And your object in waiting ? 28 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. Jed. J. (earnestly) Well, the fact is, father, I've a nofinn that I'm capable of earning my living, and I don't intend in marry till I've put my theory to the test. Jed. S. (sarcastically) Really ? Are you sure that ia your only reason ? Jed. J. Is it not enough? Jed.S. You equivocate. And you also seem a little forgetful. Suppose I suggest another — a different sort of impediment. Jed. J. Impediment ? Jed. S. (deliberately) Yes, your being already married, for instance. Jed. J. (crosses down B,. — aside) Good Lord, he's found it out. It's all up. Jed. S. (following him c.) I have surprised you. Then bigamy is in your future list of peccadilloes ? Jed. J. (becoming serious) No, sir. You wrong me. The ridiculous little affair to which you allude must, of course, be illegal. I assure you, on my honour. Jed S. (contemptuously) Your honour. Damn it, sir ! your honour never impelled you to confess to this ' ridiculous little affair." Jed. J. No, the fact is, I was expecting a letter of importance, (confused) And I was temporising until it arrived. Jed. S. (bitterly) Oh, you were ? (crosses to him) Is this the letter ? (hands letter) Jed. J. (reading envelope) " Christopher Jedbury, Esquire." {aside) Tom Bellaby's a fool ! (^itrnsR.) Jed. S. Now the letter having arrived, further temporis- ing is unnecessary. Jed. J. (embarrassed) Of course , but you se^, sir, thia turn of affairs has rather upset my calculations. FoJ instance, I never intended you to see tiiis letter, Jed. S. I gathered that. Jed. J. What the deuce am I saying 1 Music ready. Jed, S. But I am quite interested —go on ! (goes L.o. and sits) Jed. J. (crosses to him — with great ean-estness) Father, there has never been any sort of confidence between us. We have never understood one another, and that I suppose made me diffident when I got into difficulty. But with regard to the difficulty itself, even you, when you learn the particulars, must see that I am not to blame. I'll tell you fche story, (brings chair from L. down) CHKISTOPHER JUNIOR. 29 Jed. S. (passionately) No, sir. (rises) Even my endur- ance has a limit. Not a word of tliis disgraceful intii>iue will 1 hear, so spare yourself a i issue of lies. Jed. J. Father, upon my soul. (Jed. S. cro.-ses R. angrily) Jbd. S. Consider our relations severed, (music for Lancers) From this moment you are in my house under protest. {ijues lip R.C.) Music heard off; Net.ly co'nes k. to top of slairs. Nelly, (culling) Chris— Chris, you're wanied. Lots of ]ieople have come — you must h Ip me to start them dani ing. I've told them to play an e.'i.t.a. (exit Nelly back throuyh ■t,rc)iway R.) Music continues softly. •Trd. J. (quietly, crosses up R.)Then 1 will relieve you of my IT Sf^nce. (crosses R. ; Jed. S. bows, goes towardsL., then halts (iolOii L.C. ) Jed. S. I suppose you have no definite plans 1 Jed. J. (halting) I dou't think, sir, you have any right to emiuire. Jed. S. I have a motive in asking, (fieliing c.) You spoke with some grandeur just now about earning a liviig. (.smiles) I am curious to put your words to the test. I hear tliat Simpson, my managing man in Bouihay, lias discliarg.d a ch'rk ; I have to send someone out at . J. So you've come at last? Nice follow you uro I You've doiio it 1 T'tLlh. Done what ? Jkij. J. That letter! Bell. Well, what about it? Didn't you get it^ Jeij. J. Oh yes, I got it ! Bell. Well? Jeu. J. Wliy hadn't yoa the sense to direct it to me? Bell. I did — Christopher Jedbury, Esquiro. Jed. J. Well, aren't there two of us? Stupid ! Bell. Hang it all ! I forgot the -Junior. It has fallen into your guv'nor's hands ? 1 am awfully sorry, old man ! Jei>. J. So am I. What's the good of that 1 Bell. Not much. Where are you going? Jed. J To India ! Bell. Are you serious ? Jed. J. Do I look as if 1 were joking? Tom, there is no sense in crying over spilt milk The Guv'ntjr and 1 have hid a split, and this time it is beyond repair, (puts dnon bag up dage L.) You'll write to me arhen I got away, for I trust to you to be the one little connecting link betwaea me and England. Bell, (l.) But your sister Nelly ? Jed. J. (l.c. ; Htinghis Up) I— I have given my word to hold no communication. Bell. Upon my soul, Chris, I am sorry ! Jed. J, Show it, Tom— Try aud .straighten out that matri- monial tangle for me — because — because — Bell. You're in debt. Jed. J. Wrong ! I'm in love. Bell, (astonisfted) No ! Well, old fellow, I wish you luck. But is there nothing I can do for you ? Don't be offended, {pulls out money) You know you are welcome to anything I've got ! Jed. J. Thanks no ! I won't start my new career by borrowing. Bell. Rubbish I For old acquaintance' sake have a fiver— Jed. J. {snddenhj) I will — take something. Bell. Good business ! Jed. j, I'll take a cigar I CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 35 Bell. Riglit you are I (going up) I'll get my cigar case. (exit R.u. E.) Jhjd.J. I))ra— something awfully sweet and confiding about that name. She looks like a Dora, (suddenly) I would lik.^ to stay for that waltz, {comes dotvn) It would be worth sw;il!owing a Int of pride for. I'm hanged if I don't go and chan;^e my clothes again, (goes upstairs, taking bag Mth him) Enter Whimper r.u.e. Whisip. I'm sorry. Master Christopher, to be sent with such a me^sa'^e, but the master says — Jed. J. W«in Whimp. He says, sir, that your departure having been ahvady announced there will be no need for you to take leave of tlie family. Jed. J. (doion l. bitterly) Very well, Whimper, anything more? Whimpkr. Yes sir. The carriage is waiting for you at the door Jed. J. Tell my father I prefer to walk. ("Whimper looht pamed) All right, Whimper, it's no fault uf yours! Whimp. I l^eg your pardon, sir, but you'll allow me to send on your hm lor ycu ? Jkd. J. All light, Whimper. Good-bye I (holds out hia hand) Whimp. Gixjd-bye, Master Christopher ! Jed J. Siy good-Viye to the other servants for me. Whisip. Yes, sir. {exits r.o. imth bag). Jed. J. My conge direct. I cannot stay now. No, it would be too humiliatiiig. {tahes kj) his coat arid Jind Doea's handkerchiej) Her handkerchief. Mine now, for as the knights of (rid used to carry their lady's favours to the tilt so shall this go with me, to remind me of the fight I mean to win. (goes l.) Quadrille stops. Nelly enters softly dotnistairs. Nklly. (coming doion, carries eitvelope) Chris 1 Chris I are yon al'>ne ? Jed. J. (r ) Yes, what's the matter, Nell? Nelly, Oh, don't pretend it's nothing, for I know every- thing (cnj^iuj) You re going awny — never to come back any more. Jed. J. (gently) Who knows? Perhaps some day. Don't cry, Nell 1 iS'ELLY, Some day— sounds such a long way off. (goes a. a iittle) 36 CHKISTOPHEE JUNIOR. Jed. J Now, little sister, don't do that, (touchinr) tJ\e eur.tlope) What is this ? Nelly. My birthJay present. A cheque from papa. I've transferred it to you. You wil! take it. won't you t Jed. J. (shnliing Jvis head) IMy dear Ni'lly, I couldn't ! Nelly. I know it isn't nuich, but it will help you till you get settled. Jed. J. It isn't the amount, dear. You don't understand. Nelly, Yes, T do. It is because you are too proud. Jed. J. But, Nelly, there's no necessity. Why, bless your heart, I'm a regular Croesus, (crosses L.c.) Nelly. Really ? Jed J. Really ! (aside) Lord forgive me ! Come, Nell, ■wish me good luck— (enfer Bellaby, e.u.e.)— and show nie a smiling face before I go (evihraces her) Nelly. (Iiysfei-icalhj) Don't laugh at us, Mr. Bellaby. We are saying good bye. (jfalls I'nto Chris's arms) Waltz till end of Act, Bell. Don't mind me I (puts cigars in Jed.'s pocket on chair up k.) Jed. J. There is the waltz music. Go along, Nelly. Take care of her, Tom. Bell, (approaching her) May I ? (crosses over to her) She leans on his arm as lie leads her off R. ; slie turns aihd runs down to Chris, who meets her half way ; they kiss and she and Bellaby exit k. Jed. J. Good-bye. (sighinij) And now to tramp to the station, (hieels and turns his trousersup; goes to vnitdow L. and looks out) I shall go across the park this way. I shan't have to run the gauntlet of the people, (he is ope'idng windoio when wallz music begins) By Jove ! the waltz ! The first waltz ! (listens) I should have liked that waltz, (o.) Enter Dora from door l. Dora. I knew Uncle would go to sleep if he once found a comfortable armchair ! Oh, there you are 1 Have you for- gotten our engagement ? Perhaps you are afraid of missing the train , Jed. J. (rising) Oh, no, not at all ! (absently feeling in pockets) I can get a special, you know. Dora. Can you? Then in fultilment of my promise we will take just one turn here, (goes up a little) One good turn. Music louder. Jed. J. (puts his arm round her waist and dances two of CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 37 three turns ; music softer) One good turn deserves another. (music louder ; they dance arjain ; they stop btj the stairs f music softer) I shall remeniber iny last night in England. Dora. Last night in England 1 Then you are going abroad. Jed. J. Yes, to Bombay (stop dancinff) Dora, (stopping) Bombay ! (going to him) I wish -I wish — you every success. Jed. J. Thank you ! {shakes hands) Good-bye ! D;)RA. (puts out her haul again) Good-bye ! Jed. J. (impulsively kissing her extended hand) Good-bye i God bless you ! (seizes coat, hat a^id portmanteau and rushes off at ivindow, R.U.E.) Dora, (goes to window and looks after him) He's going to Bombay ! Strange ! Uncle is going to Bombay also 1 It seems very sellish of me to let him go alone, (looks at hand) Poor Uncle I He would be so lonely — so very lonoly — with- out me. (she stands silently watching the door whert CHiilsTOPHBR dep'xrted) Music continues fori*. ACT TIL Time : — Six Months Later. Scene : — Bombay. Inti'rlor of bumjaluw or prirafe quartern of Mnjor Hedway. The scene is not mittulely dtsciiiie.d as it is capable of ranch original treatment. There should he rattau or wicker furniture, a piano, and a larye screen. Writing desk uear r.c. Dora discovered at writing table L. Dora, (finishing her letter) There, Miss Nelly, {leaning hack and fanning hersdf) It is warm, there's no denying it. {taking up letter) It strikes ine thei'e is a good dual ot Mr. Blaoik in this letter ; I'll read it — {reads)— '^ My dear Nelly, You may possibly remember Mr. Blank, the young secretary sent out by your father just before we came. He has be- come great friends with uncle." {looks up) With uncle! {reads) " To whom he has confided an important discovery. There has been what he terms a leakage in the treasury, and ik seems that your father's confidence in Mr. Simpson is entirely misplaced. For some strange reason Mr. Blank declines to communicate with your farher, and uncle has such implicit faith in Mr. Blank's ability that he will not inter- fere. However, dear, / have not been bound to secrecy, and you may use my information as you see fit. So j'ou are inyaged. You forgot to mention the name of the hapi-y man. J congratulaie you. /shall never marry now — " {sighs and oohsup) I think I am safe in saying that. (reaie, and exit L.c.) I think I did that very nicely, (walks up, watches Simpson off, rettirns to Dora, who crosses l.) Miss Hedway, baa that man been annoying you 1 {coming dovono.) CHKISTOPHEE JUNIOR. 41 Dora. Yes. No— that is Jed. J. Won't you tell me the truth 1 Dora. (l. of tabic) The truth i.s, I have taken a great dis Hke to Mr. Simpson, and I am foolish enough to show it. That is all. Let us change the subject. Aren't you awfully warm ? Jed. J. (c, fanning himself with hat) No, thanks. I am very comfortable. Dora. With such a heavy coat ? Jed. J. It is the only one I could find. Job ia an awful fellow to conceal one's wearing appavel. Dora. Where is Job t Jed. J. Gone for the mail, confound him ! Dora. Well, take that coat off. Jed J. May 1 1 (removes it) Dora. Dear, dear, you poor helpless mortal. Look at the torn lining. I will stitch it for you if you will bring me that basket. Jed. J. This one 1 (referring to paper basket ; fetches basket from table up r.o.) Dora, (spreads the coat out on her knee) Find me a needle. (Jed. J. hesitates at head of table) Please— Jed. J. That's better— Dora, I am very cross to-day, I can't help it. It's the heat. Jed, J. (giving needle) I don't mind it. Dora, What— the heat, or my temper ? Jed. J. Either, (breaks off very long thread) Dora takes thread, breaks a very small piece off, and throios the remainder away ; Jed. J. picks it up and ivinis it round his finger in an absent manner Dora, (stitching) Is there anything under the sun you do mind ? Jed. J. (idling with contents of work-basket) Only you, I mind you, because —because I can't help myself. Dora, I can't rid myself of the impression that you've grown somehow since you have been out here. Jed. J, I have grown — grown bald, Dora, Nonsense. Jed, J, (behind the table) It is true. Look how thin my hair is on the top. It is worry. Dora. What have you been worrying about ? (laughing) Jed. J. About you, I thought you were going into a con- vent. Dora, [stitching quickly) You don't approve of a woman taking the veil ? Jed. J, Oh, yes, I do, but I think it ought to be a whitt veil, with orange blossoms. 42 CHRISTOPnEll JUNIOR. Dora, (giving him coal and risin/j hurriedly, and crosses n.) It's very warm, (slie crosses to r.c. and sits) Jed. J. Vou said that before. It's an astonishing thing, but the weather becomes a topic of absorbing interest when we are alone, (pause ; tJiey look at eaeli other) Doha, (staiidiitg itear screen) Wv 11 ? (fanning herself) Jed. J. (fan business) Well 1 Dora, (impatiently) Haven't you anything to say 1 Jed. J. Yes. We are going to have rain. Dora. Thank goodness. When ? Jed. J. I don't know when, but we'll have it some of these days. Dora. How ridiculous. Oh, dear, it's very — Jed. J. (hurriedly) Yes, I know. It's a generally accepted fact that it's very warm. Dora, (laughing) How's business ? (leans against arm of chair r.c.) Jed. J. Whose business ? Doha. Your business. Jed. J. Oh, pretty well, thank you. Coffee's weak, nut- megs are rolling, pepj)ers are strong, and cinnamon steady. Dora. What about Mr. Simpson? Jed. J. He's not so steady as the cinnamon. He's begin- ning to tojiple. Dora. What did he say when you told him of your dis- covery ? Jed. J. Became indignant and threatened to kick me out, but he has changed his mind, and has condescended to an explanation. Dora. H'm. Ar.d w ho is going to dictate terras 1 Jed. J. {emphatically) I am. Dora. That is right, (rises) I once told you that I thought '•Arthurs" were heedless and stupid. I withdraw the accusation. Jed. J. Arthur? Oh, yes. Arthur, to be sure Dora. Don't say you have forgotten your own name. Jed. J. No, I haven't forgotten it, but you see, I was neier called Arthur much as a boy. Dora. You have a very odd last name —" Blank." I never knew any one before of that name, (crosses to table t. and pir^s up letter) Jed. J. Neither di^l I. Dora, (crosses to table L. ; offering letter) Will you hava this posted for me ? Jed. J. With pleasure, {lakes it ; aside) Where the deuce have I sei n that writing ? For the English mail, of course. (looking at the mriling) CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 43 Dora. Yes. it is for Miss Jediiury (crosses to R.c.) Jed. J. How is Nelly ? Bless her dear little heart. Dora, (toith dignity) Nelly? Bless her dear little heart! Really you are very familiar, Mr. Blank. Jed. J. I didn't mean to be. Doha. (inovingK. ; adde) I see it all. He is in love with Nelly, and the father wouldn't hear of it. (sits R.) N^rvl know what the stormy interview was about [aloiul) You know Miss Jedbury well ? Jed. J. Intimately. Dora. You admire her ? Jed. J. Immensely. Dora You told her so ? Jed. J, Frequently. Dora. That was very imprudent. What did Nelly say ? Jed. J. Say ? Oh, she said she d always be a sister to me. Dora. She did 1 Then you haven't the ghost of a chance. Jed J. 1 know it. Doka. (r.c.) And you are resigned? Jed. J, (c.) Quite. Dora, (rising) Mr. Blank — Arthur— Jed. J. Yes. That's right. Call me Arthur. Dora. I sympathise with you. You have acted bravely. Lt must have been an airful wrench. Jed. J, (pretend iitq to shitdiier) It was, it was. Yet, I'd go through it all over again to have you sympathise with me. Dora. But to return to Neliy. Jed. J. No, don't return to Nelly, I'd rather stay here with you. Dora, (shakes her finger) When will you learn that I am just an elderly sort of person 1 To be treated seriously. Jed. J. Never. Dora. Then I shall not permit you to talk to me at all. Jed J. Don't — Don't be cruel. I'll call you Gi'midma if you say so. Dora You are incorrigible, {busiiiess ; langlis) But what was I g.'ing to say? Ah! it was about Nelly's brother Christopher. You know him, I believe. Jed. J. Yes— no — that is, slightly. Dora. Well, you have met him. IIow did he impress you ? Jed. J. Impress me ? H'm — I thoi^ght him a good-looking sort of a chap - clever — upright — in fact, on the whole, a noble specimen of perfect manhood, (striking altitude — aside) I consider that a mo.st accurate desc! i])tic'n. (goes L.) boRA. Then I don't agree with you. Between you and me {confidentially) that young man is a vtry bad lot. 44 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. Jed. J. No ! Then I'll never speak to him again. Dora. I know it for a fact. He drinks. Jed. J. No. Dora. And he bets on races. Jed. J. No. Dora. Yes. I noticed it when I visited those rooms In London. Major, (outside) Dora ! Dora ! where's Dora ? Dora, (rises) My uncle, and I have not given orders for his tiffin, (exit L.) Jed. J. (r.c.) A drunkard and a gambler. If the Major's voice hadn't cut short my profligate career, no knowing how I should have ended. I shall never dare to tell her who I am now. No, I am doomed to be A. Blank to the end of the chapter. Enter Job from back L. Jed. J. (Job coming down with letters and papers) Ah, Job, you scoundrel. Any letters ? (extending his hand) Job. (l.C.) None for you, sir. Jed. J. (disappointedly) I am a fool to expect any. Job. It ain't my fault, Mr. Jedbury — Jed. J. (turns quickly) Y<>u call me Mr. Jedbury again and you'll wish you died as an infant. Job. I beg pardon, sir. It's the first slip for months. It must have been old recollections brought about by this here. (produces handbill) There sir, cast your eyes over that. Jed. J. An announcement. Job. Read it, sir. Jed. J. (spreading out hill ; reads) "Mr. and Mrs.Glibb, the renowned philanthropists," Mrs. Glibb ! Can it possibly be my Mrs. Glibb. (voices hear d off) Mrs. G. (outside) My dear Major, Mr. Glibb's brain is positively colossal. Jed. J. It is my Mrs. Glibb, Job. If the Major enquires for me, I'm gone away for a month, (goes towards L. as Mr. Gltbb enters l. sloioly and stands at the door with his hands behind him. Glibb looks at Jed. J. ; wheels suddenly round) Cornered ! Job. (in a loud whisper) Try the verandah, sir. Jed. J. goes to verandah as Mrs. Glibb and Majob appear. Jed. J. No good. Retreat cut off. Job. My advice is, rush it, sir. Fll make a clearing. Follow me. CHRISTOPHEll JUN'IOK. 45 Job poses in pedestrian fashion, and then malces a rnsh for the door at n^hirh Mr. Gtjur is looldng in. He strikes with force against him, iihich causes Glibb to loheel round. Jeu. J. bolts out after Job, and Glibb, who is thoroughly hennldered, stands staring after ihcm, as Majok and Mrs. Glibb enter from verandah. Glibb then drops down behind chair L. Mrs G. And the first lecture, Major. How many tickets may I put you down for ? {writes in note book) Major, {aside) Oh for twenty minutes' sleep, (aloud). We'll say three, (aside, yauming) Just twenty minutes, (sits K. of table) Mrs. G. Three and twenty. Thank you, Major. You military gentlemen are always to be relied upon for generosity in a noble cause, (to Gltsb, ivho has taken up his position behind Major) George. Major, {aside) I felt there was something there, {moves to the other chair extreme l.) Mrs. G. Tell the Major about my treacherous memory. (Mr Glibb prepares to speak) Mr. Glibb is quite right. I had positively forgotten our acquaintance, till he reminded me that Major Hedway would doubtless prove our great support, {enter Dora c.) Ah, your charming niece. George, you remember Miss Hedway 1 (Glibb bows, and gradually moves until he gets behind the Major again) Dora, (r.c) This is a very pleasant surprise. Mrs. G. (l.) You are too good. Dora. Not at all. We are so awfully dull here, that any change is welcome. That is — I mean — Major. Eyes front, Dora, my darling. Dora. It's getting delightfully cool on the verandah, and I think we can offer you a sherbet, (goes to back and chills) Job, Job, please have these chairs taken out for us. Enter Job. Mrs. G. {seeing him) Good gracious. This ia surely % familiar face. (Job starts and tries to get axoay) It is — why — Job, what are you doing out here ? Dora. Job is waiting on a guest of ours. Mrs. G. What 1 You have forsaken Mr. Christopher ? (Job shakes his head and ihm nods violently) Dora. Mr. Christopher ? Mrs. G. Young Mr. Jedbury, Job's former employer, {to Job) What has become of that naughty boy 1 (.Job looks bewildered, and presently casts }i,is eyes up and produces his handkerchief) 46 CHKISTOPHER JUNIOR. Mrs. G. Dead — is it possible ? (Mr. Glibb turns and looli* at door) Dora. Nelly's brother duad ? Mrs. G. What did he die of 1 (Job hesitates, then slotoly raises }us hand to his mutUli, to signify that Jeu. J. died oj drink) Dora. That teapot ! Mrs. G. Oh, how shocking 1 Dora. Poor Nelly. Mrs. G. Oh, George, let it be a warning to you. (Major fees Glibb behind him and changes back into other chair; Glibb ynoves with him and stations himself bthiiul him again ; Job takes chair up) Jed J. ente7-s at back unperceived, except by Job, who rushes to him. Job. Go away, sir, you're dead. Jed. J. Eh, dead— am I ? Then I'll go and bury myself. exit L. bock, foUoived by Job with cliair) Mrs. G. Cliristoyjher dead — I cannot realise it. Major, (after ghmcing behind htm and rising, offering his arm to Mrs. Glibb) A false sentiment to laiU' nt death. We all die, every man Jack of us, and Major Hedway will endeavour to go with his boots on. (aside to Dora) Bring along the gay Lothario, Dora, (strolls off o. with Mrs. Glibb l.) Dora. Mr. Glibb. Come along. It's all right — I shan't hurt you. (Glibb hesitates, then follows her off) Job re-enters back. Jed. J. (looking in at door l.) ll'st — Job ! Job. It's all right, sir, they're gone. Jed. J. Then see they don't come back till I've found my tobacco. I refuse to go to the tomb without my pipe [locking for pipe) What did I die of, Job '{ Job. Drink. Jed. J, (l.o.) Eh 1 Job. I couldn't help it, sir. You'd got to be killed, acme- how. Jed. J., Job, you are a conscientious, good- fur-nothing ficoundrel. Get out. Job exit c.Ij. with second chair. Jed. J. Where the deuce is that pipe ? Ah, here it is I must have removed it from my pocket when Dora mended my coat, (tenderly) Dora — I alisaj's call her Dora when there is no one to hear mo. (paune) I wonder how Bellaby's in* CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 47 restigations are proceeding. Ho says if 1 will only wait seven years I shall be free anyhow. Four years more. How would he like it himself ? (finds crofis attached to chain on desk R.c.) Her locket — must have fallen from her neck. I wonder if I might keep it. {pockets it) I have become a perfect kleptomanic where anything belonging to Dora is concerned. Enter Dora o. Dora. I must have dropped it somewhere. Oh, have yoa found a gold locket with a monogram 1 Jed. J. No, but I'll look for it {snddody kneels and looks on floor) Ah, here it is. {takes it from pocket and pretends to have found it; offers cross hut retains hold of chain) Dora. (l.c.) Oh, thank you. It's intrinsic value is nothing, but it was my poor father's last present. He bought it in Trinidad. Jed. J. {sxiddenly dropping chain) Trinidad? {kneeling L.c.) Dora. Yes. Have you ever been there ? Jed. J. Oh, yes. I've been there. Once. Dora. Once. Then I suppose you don't remember much about it. Jed. J. On the contrary. My remembrance of Trinidad is most distinct. Dora. So is mine, {sighs) It holds the most painful recol- lections for me. Won't j'ou get up ? Jed. J. {cafchhig hold of cross, she has the chain) No, thanks, I am very comfortable, and it makes you look so tall. Away up in the skies, where you belong. Dora, {smiling) You seem to have taken quite a fancy to my lf)cket. Jed. J. Yes. I — I'm trying to read Dora (Dora looks) in this monogram. Dora. Oh, that isn't meant for Dora at all. Dora is really my secnnd name. The first is so hideous that I discarded it when I assumed the other. Jed. J. Assumed ? What other ? Dora. Hedway. {confident udly) I have never told anyone my secret. The fact is, that I have a — there is something. Jed. J. {anxiously) Yes. You have a ? Dora. In the past. Jed. J. (relieved) The past. Oh, bother the past. Think of the future. Your future — my future Dora, forgive me, dear. I can't keep it any longer. I've something to tell you. Something that Dora, (shrinkiiig away) No, you'd better not. Not now. I don't know. I must take time to consider. 48 CHRISTOPHER JUKIOR. Jed. J. Certainly, take seven years. Dora. Eh ? Jed. J. I mean four. You see, it's better not to hurry theae things, and — Enter Simpson l.o. Dora, (turning). Mr. Simpson. (Dora, drops Jed. J.'s hand and exit L. ; ledves Jed. J. on his knees somewhat embarrassed by Simpson's entrance) Jed. J. (aside) A bad beginning for me, but we must see if the positions cannot be reversed before the interview is closed, (rises, calmly points to chair by tal>le) Sit down, Mr. Simpson, I have given orders that we are not to be dis- turbed. Simp, (crossing to L., referring to the position in rohich he found Jed. J.) Didn't you take that precaution a little late ? Jed. J. (carelessly) Better late than never, (draws chair c. and sits) Simp, (smiling) Charming young lady. Miss Hedway. sits L.) Though a little free in her manners, I should imagine. Jed. J. I wouldn't let my imagination run too far, if I were you. Simp. I never do. I may be keen at grasping a situation. (significantly) but I don't deduce anything from it, unless I am driven to do so by circumstances. Jed. J. A safe plan. Simp, (taking cigar from case) Does your fair hostess per- mit ? Jed. J. Yes. Simp, (offering case) Will you join me ? Jed. J. No, 1 prefer my pipe. (ligJds pipe) Simp, (sittinq R. of table) A less expensive habit. I always smoked a pipe when I was a clerk, although I now confess I don't like the flavour. Jed J. That's a pity. Simp. Why? Jed. J. You might have to go back to the pipe. Simp. Possibilities are limitless. You might suddenly develop a taste for expensive cigars. Jed. J. Very likely. But I shall also endeavour to develop the means of paying for them honestly. Simp. Of course, of course. Honesty is always the best policy, and in spite of our little misundertanding, I have never doubted yours. Jed. J. (coldly) Thanks. CHRISTOPUEK JUNIOR. 49 Simp, Bow, wilh your permission, we will revert to the subject of your late Jbd. J. Detection. Simp. H'm — You use very extravagant expressions, but we won't argue about that. Jed. J. No, don't let us argue Simp, {risiiig and ivalking uneasily) You were sent out to me some six months ago with no special recommendation beyond a good education. It was not mercantile, however, and gave you no advantage over thv3 other clerks. I thought I saw in you an intelligent man, and I at once started to bring out whatever germs of business talent you might possess. Jed. J. (quietly) That was your first mistake. Simp, (with slight anger) Observing a taste for mathematica I placed you in the book-keeping department. Jed. J. That was your second mistake. Simp, (witli increased avger) And finally, believing that you were to be trusted, I gave you access to my own private books. Jed. J. That was your third and most serious mistake. Simp, (controlling himself) Go on. I am curious to see how far ingratitude can go. (sits at L.) Jed. J. Are you? Then listen to me. (puffing his pipe) Fifteen years ago, I am told, Mr. Jedbury took into his ser- vice a young man, who not having the drawback of a classical education, plodded on, with the help of his trusting employer, until he obtained sufficient knowledge to fill the important position of manager in the Bombay house. Simp, (impatiently) Narratives do not interest me. Jed. J. Really. I thought you were curious as to in- gratitude. Simp, (assuming ease) Your assurance is simply amusing. Jed. J. Amusing. Wait a bit. I haven't begun to be funny yet. (takes a paper from pocket) You appear anxious fur the denouement, so I'll skip details. A few weeks ago, I sug- gested we should review the last few years' balance sheets, so as to compare with accuracy the annual profits. You agreed. Findirg a slight discrepancy in last year's accounts I looked up the duplicate books which I knew to be in your possession. Simp, (risiiig) You had no right to touch them in my absence. Jed. J. You shouldn't have taken a holiday. Simp, (sits impatiently) Well, sir, y(ju found the books. Jed. J. Yes, but they were not duplicates, except in the matter of bindicg. The totals were distinctly at variance. 50 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. SlJiP. You He. Jkd. J. 'sh ! Don't raise your voice. The Majoi's gona to sleep. Pardon me, did I understand you to say that I liedl? Quite a nii:>t;ike. 1 assure you I speak by the card. (prvduciiui jj 'per) Let me begin wi ii the credit total for 1. fc year. The firm's ledt^er says sixt^-en thousand four hundred and twenty-two p mnds. Your |)rivate ledger for the same (doivly readiii'j) eighteen thi)u:s;uid and — Simp. It is false. Jed J. Yes, 1 know it is. That is what I am getting at. I repeat that your private ledger gives last year's profit at eighteen thousand — JSiMP. Nothiny; of the sort. That is the ninety-two return. Jed. J. Ah, thank you. I wanted to find out how long you had been working this little game. Simp. It is an evi 'ence of your business inexperience tha-- you haven't allowed for my commissions. Jed. J. C'^muiissions ? But how about that extra annual two hundred, noted as the equivalent for commissions ? SiJiP. {micjrily ; rUes) I am not here for cross examination. With an audacity that only iguoiance can excuse, you imj)ly my dishonesty. Jed. J. Oil no. I don't imply, I assert. Mr. Simpson, I charge you with being a thief. Now (standing erect) answer it like a man. (Simpson starts, as if he wunld attack him, then turns aivay smiling) Simp. And you think you will be able to prove your state- ment ? Jed. J. Well, I'm green in the business, as you say, but I have a document here which would ripen the intelligence of a June pippin, {produces letter) SiiiP. A letter to me from the firm 1 Jed. J. No. Not the letter, but a forged copy of it. Simp. Forgery — you are becoming indiscreet. Jed. J. Oh, no, I'm all right, (unfolding letter) Now, Mr. Simpson, the original letter from Mr. Jedbury authorises you to purchase a certain quantity of ivory, if obtainable, at five thousand. This — the copy you made to show to the Rajah— says three thousand five hundred Blauaging man's profit {pointing to Simpson) fifteen hundred. Barring this little discrepancy, the letters are identical. Both the original and this are .-igned " Christopher Jedhury." Simp. What did you expect to prove by that ? Jed. J. Nothing, until I secured your receipt from the Rajah. Here it is. {shoirs paper) You have sent the bogUfl one to London, {pause) Weil, I am waiting — — Simp. Waiting i CHRISTOPUER JUNIOR. 51 Jed. J. Ye'!. I have sttited the case. The question is, what is gnitiy to be done ahout it ? Now, go ahiuxd, and let me h;i\i' yi>iir [iroposirion. Simp, (nsiile) I'lopotsition. He wants a share. Ah \ (aloud) It is a pity iliat in making wliat, you term your discovery you should h;ive assumed so hostile a manm-r. It mu/ht have led to serious results. In f;ic^, my first impulse was to dis- charge you, a-^ you know I have full power to do. But ou second thoughts — Jed. J. Ah, second thoughts are best, (sifs R c.) Simp, (sits l.c.) I say on stcond thoughts I felt I should be injuring the firm by robbing them of a really bright young man, merely to gratify a personal spite. Therefore I am content to let bygones be bygones, and moreover to admit you into a sort of private partnership. First, assuring you that the trifling irregularities you have remarked are strictly in the way of legitimate business. This is my pro- position. What do you say to it ? Jed J. (qvietly) Say to it ? Oh dear, oh dear. Have you any idea whitan infernal rogue you are ? (rises) Now you go home at once and send in your re.si<_'nation, or in twenty- four hours I will communicate with Mr. Jedbury myself. Simp, (rising ; changing tone) Then you mean to fight, do you? Jed. J. I do. Simp, (angrily) You little know your employer if you think that your accusati(nis can weigh against my fifteen years of hard service. My word will stand before yours. Jed. J. (aside; perplexed) I am afraid it will. Simp, (loudly) I can discharge you this instant and give any reason I choose to manufacture. To-day I will make you the talk of Bombay, and to-morrow have you hounded irom the town. Jed. J. (aside qnidhj) What shall I do ? Sink with the phip ? No, 1 11 keep it floating. There's only one way, and here goes, (aloud) So you think that you can appeal to your employ r. What if your employer has already suspected you ? Vv hat if he sent .six months ago a spy to report to him as to the truth of his suspicions? (Simpson starts) Are you still as blind as you were when that spy arrived ? The young clerk talliny liimself Arthur Blank, who now discharges you in his teal 1) m , and in the name of the firm. I am Christopher Jedbury Junior, son of your employer, (points 0.) Now go. Simp, (enraged) A lie I CUKTAIN. ACT IV; Six Weeks Lateb. Scene. — Same as Act III., with slightly different arrange' ment of furniture ; screen near piano ; small table L.o. DoKA. (at desk) What is the matter with me to-day ? I have a fearful attack of blues. Well, the prospect is not cheering. And yet it is no worse than it has been for the last three years, (takes paper from desk, scans it) Yes, three years, (looking up) My marriage contract. I wonder if I could find you, Mr. — Mr. — (looks at paper) — Mr. Bellaby. (looks up) But I don't want to find you, that's the trouble. (pauses) I have a good mind to confide in uncle, (shakes her head) ISo 1 Dear old uncle ! He would only want to kill somebody, and think of the talk— the scandal. No, no ! (puts paper away, and closes desk) Better let it alone, (goes to piano, sits and strikes a few chords) Enter Jed. J. o. ; he goes to chair back of screen. Jed. J. I wonder if I shall get a letter from Tom Bellaby to-day ? I can't bear this suspense any longer. Dora, (to herself) I may as well be candid with myself, and own up what is the matter. It is Christopher 1 Jed. J. (hearing his nime) Eh? {listens; peers round the screen and gives a satisfied sigh) Dora. I dreamed of him last night. I thought he was ill, wounded, and I was nursing him. I was bandaging his forehead, and we were so happy, (sighs) At least 1 was. I wish the dream would come true, (music) It is so delight- ful to minister to those we love. Jed. J. That settles it. (prodvces handkerchief, folds it bandage fashion and binds it on his head) Dora. But Christopher is so wretchedly healthy, (she drums on the piano) Strong as a lion — he'll die of old age ! Jkd. J. If I have my choice he will. Dora. Old age ! Dreadful thought ! (plays and sings) " Falling leaf and fading tree, Lines of white in a sullen sea. Shadows rising on you and me ; The swallows are making them ready to flj, Wheeling out on a windy sky. Good-bye, summer, good-bye, good-bye ! Good-bye to hope, good-bye, good-bye I " CHEISTOPIIER JUNIOR. 63 Wlien she commences Jed. J. peeps over screen and listens ; at the last ''good-bye" she stops with a crash, and falls cry- ing on the piano ; Jed. J. comes from behind the screen. Jed. J. (pulling her hands from before her face) Now don't, dear ! Please don't ! Dora, Dora, — (she looks up quickly) I mean Auntie, don't now, there's a dear girl — I mean there's a good old person. DoKA. (jumping up) Dun't what ? Why, I was just enjoy- ing a good old laugh, (laughs iti forced manner) Jed, J. Ha, ha, ha I What was the joke ? (she continues to force a laugh — he also affecting to laugh) Awfully funny, to be sure. Dora, (catching sight of the bandage) Good gracious, what's the matter ? Jed. J. Which ? Where ? (Dora points to his head ; affect- ing iveakness) Oh, nothing much. I've had a slight accident, that's all. Dora, (aside) Extraordinary — my dream ! (crosses to him) Does it hurt you much ? (touches bandage) Jed, J Ouch ! Yes, but I will try and bear it t Dora. You are faint I Jed. J. Am I ? (she takes him to chair L.o,) Dora. Stay here. I will fetch you some smelling salts, poor fellow, (she goes to door behind screen ; he is aboiit to follow) No, sit still. I won't be a moment, (exit at door r. ) Jed. J. (puslting up the bandage so that it rests turban fashion on his head) No, thanks. No smelling salts. I think I'll go. (as he starts up o. voices are heard off) By Jove ! I know that voice. He peeps off, then rushes behind screen as Mr. and Mrs. Jehbury and Nelly enter c, Hiey are folloived by Whimper, Nelly. We are all right, mamma, I have sent our cards to Major Hedway, (remains up looking off l.c. ) Jed. J. (behind screen) My entire family, by all that's un- expected. How am I to escajie ? Mrs. J (r.c.) Whimper I Whimp. (c.) Yes, ma'am. Mrs. J. My compliments to your master, and I think it would have been more polite to have written the Major that we were coming, Jed. S. (l.o.) Whimper ! Whimp. (unthout moving) Yes, sir, Jed, S. When I require any advice from your mistress, I will ask for it. Whimp. (turning his head to Mrs. J. and giving the least 64 CHKISTOrHER JUNIOR. ifliKjh) Mr. Jedbury tlianks you for the suggestion, ma'am, but thinks the present manner of announcement will be satisfactory. Jed. J. lifts the screen and carries it in front of him, backing till he reaches door r. ; he then drops screen noiselessly and exits door &. ; he should not make any noise with screen. Jed. S. (i(7(o has seen the screen wove) Bless my soul ! Nelly, (coming down slightly) What is the matter, papal Mrs. J. (pointnig to Jed. S.) Whimper — sunstroke. Whimper steps forward. Jed. S. (irritably) Whimper — mind your own business. Nelly, (r.c, soothing her father) I am just dying to see Christopher. I am sure, papa, that you never thcjught he would have acted with so much discretion. Jed. S. When I am in fault, Nelly, I have the justice to acknowledge it. Nelly goes up and looks off l.c. again. Mrs. J. Whimper, you can remind your master that I knew he was in fault all along. Enter Dora hurriedly with smelling salts. Dora. Good gracious ! Mr. and Mrs. Jedbury, how do you do ? (shaking hands) Have you seen Christopher ? Jed. S. Not yet. We have this moment arrived. My dear young lady, we can never thank you enough for the information your letters contained ! Nelly coming duton on tiptoe from R.c, and clasping her hands over Dora's eyes. Dora, (c.) It is Nelly— this is a surprise. But where \% your brother ? I left him here not five minutes ago. He is ill — I am afraid — that is — Mrs J. My son ill ! Oh, retribution ! Whimper, tell your master it is a judgment upon him ! Jei>. S. (do an L. ) Whimper, if your mistress insists on making a fool of herself, let her go outsii'.e and do it. Whimf (witliout niocing) Mr. Jtdbury suggests that you might like a stroll on the verandah, ma'am. Enter Job l. Job. (up G. ; to Mr. and Mrs J.) Major Hed way's com- pliments, sir, and will yuu have the goodness to step thia wayl (Mrs. J. turns up and exits at back followed by Whimper) CHKISTOPUER JUNIOK. 55 Jed. S. (paiising at exit ; looking at Job) Dear me, we have surely met before. Job. {embarrassed) Yes, sir. In London. I'm Job, sir. Job Smith. Jed. S. Mr. Smith, of course, Christo{)her's friend. Very glad to renew your acquaintance, {he sluikes hari'h violently and further embarrasses Job as they exennt L. hack) Nelly. They are gone — now we can have a nice long chat. (Nelly sits on stool c. ; Dora on chair R. of table) Isn't it delightful that papa and Christopher are going to be friends again ? And it's all your doing 1 Dora. Mine I Nelly. Of course. I showed papa your letters, and he determined to come and investigate. Then I wanted to see you so much, that I teased him till he agreed to make it a family party. Dear old Chris, he was too proud to write ; didn't he keep his secret well ? I longed to tell you who Mr. Blank really was, but I didn't dare. And what haa made you change your mind about the convent ? Dora. Well, dear, uncle didn't approve of it. But, Nelly, you have not said a word about your— about your — fiance. Nelly. No. I am saving him till the last. Oh, I'm so happy, Dora, and he is with us, you know. Dora. What? Nelly. Yes. It was his vacation, and I wouldn't let papa rest till he had invited him to come, {risiuy and takincj her hand) Come and let me introduce you. He thinks he remembers catching just a glimpse of you at my birthday ball. Do you remember him ? Dora, {goes to door r.c ) How do I know, when you have never mentioned his name 1 Nelly. Haven't I ? Dora. No. You always say "he "as if there were only one man in the world. Nelly. Oh well I — you shall see him, {going to door, calls) Tom! Dora, {aside) Tom I How I hate that name I {erossen to R.c.) Enter Bellaby. Nelly brings him down z. Nelly. Tom, this is my dearest friend Dora — Miss IJed way. Dora, this is Tom — Mr. Bellaby 1 J)oB.A. {astonished) Bellaby— Mr. Tom Bellaby? Bell, {not noticing hi r agitation) Delighted to meet yju Nelly has talked so muuh of you. Dora, {aside) It must be the same I 56 CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. Nelly. Why, Dora, what's the matter? Dora. Nothing ! I've had so much excitement this morning. Nelly. I want you two to be very good friends. Bell. I shall be delighted if Miss Hedway will permit me. {offers his hand) Dora, (aside, ignoring his hand) We shall either be excel- lent friends or excellent enemies, {crosses to l.) Bell, {aside, disconcerted) What can she mean? (l.c.) Nelly, {to Dora) He is so clever — such a lawyer. He has won every case he has had, so far. Bell. Rather, I think I have. DoKA. A lawyer ! Oh, then, Nelly, I want to consult him. Can T not see him a few minutes alone ? Nelly, {in amazement) Alone ? Dora — Dora. Yes, it is something very important. Something with which your happiness is connected, dearest. Let me see him for five minutes, and then I will send him after you. Nelly. Tom ! Bell. Yes, Nelly, {crosses c.) Nelly. Miss Hedway wishes to consult you on legal business. Bell, {crosses b.., aside) Another case — my second, {crosset L.) I haven't had one since that affair of Christopher's. Dora rises and crosses up c. vnth Nelly. Nelly. I don't often leave Tom, dear, (going) A girl can't see too much of the man she's going to marry, (exits c.) Dora. No, no, she can't, (to him) Mr. Bellaby, you are probably surprised at my seeking a private interview on so short an acquaintance. Bell. Not at all. Miss Hedway. It's a matter of daily occurrence in our profession. Dora, {coming down r.c.) Indeed 1 Bell, (l.c.) We lawyers are used to receiving all sorts of confidences. Dora. But this is a case in which you will be expected to give confidence. Bell, (raiher c donished) Really? Dora. You are engaged to be married to my friend, Miss Jedbury. Bell. I have that honour. Dora. But are you sure you're not married already ? Now be careful how you answer ! Bell. Married already ? No, we shall not be married till the autumn. What would be the use of a secret marriage ? Dora, {severely) Then you do not approve of secret CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 57 mairiagps ? (fie ioolcs amazed) Or irregular marriages? Or marriages at all out of the ordinary line 1 Bell. Certainly not I Dora. Then your first wife is not living ? Now be careful how you answer. Bell, {taking it as a joke) My first wife 1 Well, not if 1 know it I DoKA. Ah, I see — you don't knoiol Bell. Jly experiencB is, that if a man's wife is alive, she generally lets him know it ! Dora. You confess then that you have been married before ? Bell. I have no recollection of such an event. Dora. Your name is Bellaby — you are sure of that ? Bell. I will take my atfidavit. Dora. And your Christian name is — do I clearly under- stand that your Christian name is — 1 {making an effort to pronounce d — fails) Bell, {taking card from case) Tom Bellaby. Rather an unusual name. T.O.M. Bellaby. The only one in the London Directory. Dora, {taking card and looking at it). The same name — the same address that he gave before, {shows great emotion and drops in chair l. of the screen) Bell, {aside) What is the matter with her? {to Dora) Shall I get you anything — a glass of water — smelling salts ? Dora. Nothing — nothing, {rises and crosses a little up c, then douni) And you, sir, can calmly lead that innocent girl to the altar, knowing — as a lawyer you must know — that you are married to another ? Bell, {amazed) Another? What do you mean ? Dora. Do you happen to remember your visit to Trinidad ? Bell. Trinidad? Dora. Ah, you do remember Trinidad 1 Bell. I've seen it on the map. Dora. Perhaps you remember signing a contract, which married you to a young girl — Matilda Dwyer ? Bell, (l.c.) Matilda Dwyer ? {beginning to take in tlie silnation; aside) Oh, Christopher ! Dora, (c.) You do recall it ! I am Matilda Dwyer ! Bell. Good gracious ! {aside) What was the name that Christopher used ? Ah, I remember ! It was Glibb ! (aloud) You are Matilda Dwyer, are you ? Then you are confusing me with someone else. Your name is Glibb. {approaching her) Dora, {astonished) Glibb? What do you mean, sir ? Don't touch me 1 {backs a little to R.O.) 58 CHIUSTOPIIER JUNIOR. Bell. T Tiad no intiMiMou of touching, Miss Dwyerl Dora. My name is Hod way I Bell. Just now you said it was Dwyer I Now be careful how you answer. Dora. So it was— Matilda Dora Dwycr ! Bell. Thou how are yon Miss Hod way ? Dora. When my fatlier died, I assumed my uncle's name —it enabled me to conceal my identity from you. (crosses L.) Bell. Why didn't you continue to conceal your identity? Dora. Because I found that you were to become the husband of my dear friend Nelly. She knows nothing — poor girl — absolutely nothing ! Bell. I beg pardon. Nelly is a very well informed young lady. Dora, (talcing paper from desk R.o.) She'll be a bettor informed young lady presently. I'll show her this marriage contract. Bkll. (crossing to B.C. ; taking paper and looking at it ; aside) My name— in Cltri.s's handwriting— So Vm the friend whose cai\l he gave, and whose name he borrowed — not Glibb. I'd like to i);iy him out for this. Dora. (l.c. taking domment again) Well, sir? Bell, (scnonsly) Miss Hedway, I wasnewr in Trinidad — I never signed that document — the man who did sign it assured me that" the name was Giihb. Dora. Glibb ! (sinks into chair L. of table) Enter Glibb c. as thongh looking for scifiicthinq. He takes no notice of the <.tJurs, but looks over things on table, etc. After Glibb icalks dotcn slowly Dora rises and goes L.C. She continues, aside to Bellaby. Dora. And do you mean to tell me that the person who falsely signed your name to that paper is that harmless man who Wis never known to speak a word against a human being in his life 1 Bell, (r c.) But he wrote this. I merely repeat what I was told. Dora. What is he looking for ? Bell. Peihaps he is looking for his tongue. Ddra yues to Mr. Glibb, takes him by the hand and pulls him donm c. He is frightened. Dora. Tell me the truth, I implore you, if you have never told it in your life before, (/^c exhibits great astonislimait) Were you ever in Trinidad 1 Glibr gazes at her in amazement and tries to get free, and uxdks rapidly and then runs, she after him, roniul tlie room at back, theii to L.; then exit Glibb ra})idly h. ^tightened to death ; Dora Z«o»w against door. CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 59 Bell, (irho has been langliing R.c.) Miss Hedway, let me Bet you riliht. The person who signed that document, using my n;une instead of his own, was — DoKA. (comijifj c.) Was — ? Bkll. Not Glibb. but Cliristopher Jedbury. Doha, (l.c.) Christopher Jedbury I Bkll. He told me thit he used the name of Glibb, but thi? docuniint proves that he used mine. DoKA. (ov^come) Christopher Jedbury ? (chair h. oflahU. L.) Christopher Jedbury, you say ? Christ^.pher Jedbury is my husband ? (rises) Has he any suspicion that I am hii wife ? Bkll. Not the lea.st in the world. DoKA. (as if a sndi^Ien fear had seized her, crosses C. qiiickly) Is it— the old man — or the young ? Bkll. Jedbury Junior, (slie gives a sigh of relief ; he sniUfs) Dora (aside) The darling— the wretch ! He deserves to bt^ punished, (alaiid) Promise me you will not tell him you have made this discovery. Bkll. I promise you (Jbd's voice heard), but look (poiu^ iiuj init back), he is coming. You can tell him yourself. Dora, {embairassed) No, not just yet. (aside, crosses R.) He would read the joy in rny face, (asvle to Bell) You won't tell hitn, will you ? (conf)isidly) I am coming back in a minute — presently — (aside) I must h^ve a moment — to think — to think— all alone. Oh, Sir. Bellaby. (exit door K.) Enter Jed, J. fro^n verandah. Jed. J. (comhxg down c. indifferently) Hailo, old man- how are you .? Bkll. (l.c.) Well, of all the cool customers you are the ni(jst frigid, (they shake hands) Jed. J. (r.o.) Nothing of the sort I have never registered less than eighty since J landed in this balmy climate. Don'r say a word till I get it off my mind. I am head and ears in love ! Phew ! th^it's done ! (sits L.c.) Bell. Chris, old man, I'm with you ! Jed. J. But why haven't you written me all these months / Have you found her ? Is she dead or alive ? Bell. She? Who? Jed, J. There's only one she' Matilda, of course 1 Bell. Oh, Matilda ? She's dead — died of delirium tremens in the Sandwich Islands. Paiticulars in my trunk. Sorry for you, old man, awfully sorry for you. (runs oni bj verandah L.) Jed. J Matilda dead— and he's sorry for me I (claps hii 60 CHEISTOPnER JUNIOE. hands wildly) Dead ! Oli, I'm the happiest m:in on earth. (dances) Matilda (blowing a kiss to the ceiling) I wish yo\i the coinpliments of the season. I hope you have a happy f utui'e before you. Oh, Matilda, Matilda 1 {capers about B. with chair) DoKA enters L. Dora. Really, Mr. Jedbury, your conduct is extra ordinary, (aside) I've borrowed some of uncle's discipline ! (goesc.) Jed. J. Wait, Dora — I may call you Dora this once — I'm so happy. She's dead 1 (dances) It's my natural state of mind. I'm celebrating the arrival of my family. DoPvA. (coldly) You appear to be very fond of your family 1 (aside) I'm doing beautifully 1 Jed. J. Oh, Dora— I may call you Dora just this once — it isn't that. My troubles are all over. I've buried them ! Dora, (ferplexed) Buried them ? Jed. J. Yes. They died of delirium tremens in the Sand- wich Islands. Dora. What on earth are you talking about 1 Jed. J. Oh, Dora— I may call you Dora this once— if I tell you, you will hate me 1 Dora, (tenderly) No, I won't! I — I— couldn't (aside fulling herself together) H'm ! discipline 1 J ED. J. Sit down then ! (jAaces cliair) Dora, (sitting r. by jnano) I'm glad Nelly has come. You need someone near you ! Jed. J. (putting his chair nearer) Yes. Dora, (witkdratving hers a little) A sister — Jed. J. Well, not precisely a sister, don't you know J Dora. Then perh-ps a maiden aunt might do 1 Jed. J. Say a maiden, without the aunt. Dora. We won't be particular about the relationship 1 Jed. J. Excuse me, 1 know you'll excuse me, but we will be particular about the relationship. I've got all the female relations I want, excepting one. Dora. And that is— 1 Jed. J. A wife (rises; sits onpiano) Dora, (pretending to misunderstaud) I see. You haven't been able to persuade any woman to accept you. (sits on piano) Jed. J. Oh, Dora— I may call you Dora just this once. Let me explain. Now, you think I'm a bad fellow, dissi- pated, and — Dora. Think ? Oh no, I don't think 1 Jed , J. You mean that you know it. (turns away o^ended, DoEA stretches otU her hands affectionately behind his back, he CURISTOrilEIl JUNIOR. 61 i1lr'n,ss^l(Jdenly, and, to her confusion, seizesher hands) I accept your apology, {tenderly) Dora — let me call you Dora this once— please be friends with me, for I am not a drunkard, nor a gambler, and — Oh, Dora, I've been in love with you ever since I first saw you, and the only reason I never told you before was because — because — ■ Dora. Because ? Jed. J. Because I was married already ! Dora, {with pretended horror) Mr. Jedbury. {aside) Poor fellow. Jed. J. {with eagerness) But she's dead, Dora, she's dead? Dora, {ptizzled) Dead? Jed. J. Yes, she died of sandwiches— in delirium tremens — I don't know what she died of, but I do know that she's defunct. Gone to a better world ! Dora. How do you know that— that — she is defunct ? Jed. J. Bellaby told me so ! Dora, {astonished) Bellaby told you so ? Jed J. Oh, yes, he's in my confidence. Capital fellow. (taking her hand) But, Dora, don't keep me in suspense 1 Dora, {l.c, tenderly) Iwon'tl {suddenly reme77ibering her- self) Unhand me. sir. Jed. J. (r.o., releasing her) There, Dora, now you are unhanded. Dora. How dared you make love to me, while you were a married man? Why didn't you go to your wife ? Jed. J. (confused) I — I— shouldn't have known where to find her I DoBA. Why didn't you look for her ? Jed. J. What was the use ? I shouldn't have known her ! Dora. Ah ! Your cruelty effected a change in her appear- ance. Jed J. Very likely — that is I don't know, (aside) How the deuce can I say that I never saw her ? She wouldn't believe me. Dora, {with moch severity) So, you deserted her ? Jed. J. Oh, no, I didn't desert her. She— she — that is — ■^^e — we got separated before we were married, you know 1 Dora You mean that she deserted you 1 Jed. J. {jumping at the solution) Exactly. No, that isn't it. The fact is, we deserted each other. You see, she couldn't help it. She was forced into the match by a crazy old father 1 Dora, {aside) That's right. But I must punish him a little more, (aloud) Mr. Jedbury, did I ever give you the slightest encouragement 1 62 CHEISTOPHER JUNIOR. Jed. J. (humbly) No, Dora. Dora, {with dignity) Miss Hedway, if you please. Jed. J. Yes, Miss Hedway— I mean No, Miss Hedway. {gidps down the word) Dora. D.dn't it ever occur to you that I had the best reason in the world for not doing so ? Jed. J. {same bus.) Yes, Miss Doorway— No, Miss Hed- way {yydps as before) Dora. Then I will tell you that I am married already 1 Jed. J. Married ? Married to whom 1 Dora. To your friend Mr. Bellaby^Mr. Tom Bellaby ! Jed J. Bellaby — Bellaby ? {staggers, overcome, leans against table) Dora {alarmed) Chri.s — {catches him by the iorist) Jed J. {imitating her manner) Unhand me, Madame ! Dora, {aside, laughing) Pcor fellow ! {aloud, imitating hi$ manner) Now, you are unhanded. Jed. J. {recovering) Married— to Bellaby 1 Dora. To Mr. Tom Bellaby. Jed. J. And yet the earth revolves on its axis. To Bellaby, I think you said ? Dora. Yes. Jed. J. When? Dora. That is my business. Jed. J. Where 1 Dora. That is his business. Jed. J. How ? Dora. That is our business. If you don't believe it, ask Mr. Bellaby ! .Ted. J. Ask him 1 I'll — I'll exterminate him ! Dora. Very well. Let me know when you get finished. In the meantime, I wish you good morning, {exit r.u.e.) Enter Bellaby by verandah, c.l. Bell, {coming doivn c. ; aside) Now toget even with him. {aloud) Where's Nelly 1 I can't find her 1 Jed. J. (r.c) Scoundrel! Bell, (l.c.) What's the matter ? Jed. J. How dare you ask where 's Nelly ? I have just had a conversation with your wife ! Bell, {puzzled) My wife 1 {a light breaks in u}.on him ; he la%(ghs heartily) Jed. J. (aside) And he can laugh ! {aloud) W^ell, sir, I tan laugh as well as you. (laughs 77itchaiiicaUy) Ha, ha, ha ! Bell. So she told you herself, did she? (laytitg his hand familiarly on his shoulder) Jed. J. (removing the hand with exaggerated dignity) tJhe CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 63 did f Why couldn't you have acted as a man, and told me months ac,'o 1 Bell. Tell you months ago— how could I ? I didn't know it. Jbd. J. Didn't know it? Why, you unblushing hypocrite, how could you be married without knowing it f Don't attempt to lie out of it. Of course you depended on my not finding it out. She told me herself that you were her husband. Bell. She did, did she ? Well (vnth blustering air) I am her husband and that's all there is about it. {down l.o.) Jed. J. .And this wretch can talk in this calm way about it. Are your senses taking leave of you, or are mine ? {up stage) Bell. Yours, dear boy, yours. Try to be calm and cool while I tell you that your sister Nelly and I — ■ Jed. J. {dotmi) You villain, don't you presume to mention my sister Nelly again in the same breath with yourself. Bell, {pretending to get angry) I had Intended telling you all about your wife. I thought you'd perhaps like to know where she is ! Jed J. Where she is ? You told me she was dead. How can I know where she is ? Bell. Yes, I didn't like to tell you all at once, but since you're making such a fool of yourself all because of a little peccadillo of mine — Jed. J. Peccadillo — Great Heaven! — here's a man married to one woman, making love to another, and he calls that a peccadillo. Bell. Aren't you married to one woman, and haven't you been making love to another ? Jed. J. That's a very different affair ! Bell, You're married to Matilda Dwyer, and you've been making love to — {pause) — to my wife, confound you ! Jed. J. But you just told me my wife was dead. That she died of tremendous sandwiches in the Delirium Islands. Bell. That was only my little joke. I've bad news for you. Your wife is alive ! Jed. J. Alive ! Matilda alive — my brain is spinning ! Bell. Yes. Matilda's alive, and what's worse, she's in this very house. Jed. J. Where ? Bell, {tryinq to conceal his laughter) Find out. If you'd treated me decently I migh^ have helped you, but instead of that, I am a scoundrel. Where is she ? Find out. And if you dare to make love to my wife again {shakes his Ast in Jed. J.'s face and goes up c.) 64 CHRISTOPHEK JUNIOR. Jed, J. (follminng hirn up) And if you dare to make love to my sister (follows him up to verandah ; exit Bellaby t.c. ; Jed. J. remains up, looking after him) Jed. S. and Majoe enter door i. Jed. S. (l.o.) Your kindness to my son shall never be forgotten. Major. Shure it's entirely mutual, (goes up K. slightly) Jed S. (seeiny Chris.) Christopher, my son, I've taken a long journey to ask your forgiveness I Enter Mrs. J. Jed. J. (coming down ; extending hand) Don't speak of it dad. (Major goes up r.) Mrs. J. My son ! My dear boy i Jed. J. What, mother ! Jed. S. Whimper ! No, hang it. I don't want him. (crosses to her) Margaret, I've been an old fool. Mrs. J. Christopher, you have. Eiiter Bellaby, Nelly, and Mrs. Glibb ; theV are folloived by Mr« Glibb ; they are all listenirS to Bellaby, tvlio is telling them about his discovery » Bellaby and Nelly go r. ; Mrs. Glibb and Mrs. J. remain together L.c. Glibb. (sloivly and deliberated) Hoo — Hoc — ray 1 (coming O. ; all start) Mrs. G. George, you chatterbox ! Jed. J. (astonished) What's the row ? Bell, {approaching him r.c.) I have some news I Jed. J. No ? Am I free ? Enter Dora o. Bell. On the contrary, you are bound and fettered for life — (Takes Dora bijthe hand and brings her to Jed. J. o.) to Matilda— Dora — Dwyer. (returns to Nelly.) Jed. J. What, you are not — 1 Dora, (c) Yes, I am I Jed. J. (L.C., rapturously) But Bellaby says — Dora. That his name is on my marriage contract. So it is ! Jed. J. (remembering) What an idiot I am ! Forgive me, Tom, for borrowing your name. I was driven to it 1 Jed. S. Then this is the lady you married 1 Jed. J. Hush, the Major doesn't know ! Major, (coming down) Indeed ! And what is it the Major doesn't know ? Jed. J. That I have the honour to — ■ CHRISTOPHER JUNIOR. 65 Major. To bo making love to my niece? (laughs) The slee[)iug partner has had a wakeful eye on you for some tiiiii;. Jeij. J. Then you consent? Major. Yes. With all my heart, (beckoning Jed. S. up sf<((je wiicre they johi) Jkd. J. (aside to Dora.) You won't mind going through it again ? DuKA. No. But this time I shall endeavour to be present at my ov^n wedding. Jki» S. (^o Major m^ stage) I think we had better give him c(jntrol of the Bombay house, Major, Major beckons to Jed. S. and to Mrs. J. and Mrs. Q. They nod and go off l.o. Nelly sees the Major's manmnvres and pvlls Bell 's sleeve. He looks at Dora and Jed. J. and then goes off with Nelly the same as theotliera have done. Glibb is now standing alone up L. gazing at nothing. The Major motions him ; he pay- no attention, then the Major leads him to exit. Glibb is about to drop behind when the Major seizes his arm, thrusts him off. and follows himself. Tliis is all dorn quietly but quickly, while Dora and Jed. J. are talking inaudibly. Jed. J. (roho hasn't seen the manoeuvres, looks at the floor) /atlier, you make me feel very proud - 1 should day that — vv h.it I mean is —(Dora pulls him by the sleeve ; he looks round, sees that they are all gone) He doesn't seem *-o be here (nerroudy) He is a decent sort of chap after all 1 Dora, (nervonshj) Yes, they none of them seen\ to be here. Jkd. J. (nervously) Yes, they are all decent P'"