THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
 GIFT OF 
 
 Mrs. Helen A. Dillon
 
 LIFE
 
 COMMENTS ON THE NOVELS OF 
 
 JOHAN BOJER 
 
 THE GREAT HUNGER 
 
 "It is the first work of fiction I have ever reviewed; and I come to it with a mind 
 hopelessly untrammelled, and a p;eJisj,osition of Interest in its theme. What is it we are 
 aj! after in life? Desire to reach, that is the great hunger. The story of Peer Holm is the 
 pilgrimage of a man half-consciously travelling the long road to the Ultima Thule of his 
 soul; passing unsatisfied the goals of knowledge, of power, of love, all the milestones of a 
 full life and coming very late, very broken, but unconquered, to a realization at the last. 
 This book could only have been written by a Scandinavian. It has the stark realistic spir- 
 ituality characteristic of a race with special depths of darkness to contend with, and its 
 own northern sunlight and beauty. A very deep love of nature colors and freshens the 
 work of this writer, and gives it that I would not say national, but rather local atmos- 
 phere and flavor which is the background of true art. The translation is exceptionally 
 able, and one would think that but little of the atmosphere has leaked away. The story 
 told, fine and pathetic, is common enough in this world of strenuous endeavor, accom- 
 
 Elishment, and decline. Peer Holm, at the lowest ebb of his worldly fortunes, finds satis- 
 iction for his long hunger. A very fine work, both in execution and in meaning." JOHN 
 GALSWORTHY in the London Nation. 
 
 THE POWER OF A LIE 
 
 "This is a great book. I can have no hesitation whatever in saying that. Rarely in 
 reading a modern novel have I felt so strong a sense of reality and so deep an impression of 
 motive. It would be difficult to praise too highly the power and the reticence of this story. 
 When I compare it with other Norwegian novels, even the best and by the best-known 
 writers, I feel that it transcends them in its high seriousness, and in the almost relentless 
 strength with which its dominant idea is carried through. Its atmosphere is often wonder- 
 ful, sometimes startling, and its structure is without any fault that has betrayed itself to 
 me. 
 
 " It does not surprise me to hear that the Academy of France has lately crowned THB 
 POWER og A IIE, for both its morality and its excelling power are of the kind which at 
 the present moment appeal most strongly to the French mind. The reader will find that 
 this book stirs and touches him, and makes him think." SIR HALL CAINE. 
 
 THE FACE OF THE WORLD 
 
 "A big ironic book, finely conceived and very finely executed." JAMES BRANCH 
 CABELL, in the New York Sun. 
 
 "A fine book, moist with life, which stands well out of the surrounding banalities. 
 You will be depriving yourself of a rare pleasure if you do not read it." The Baltimore 
 Sun. 
 
 TREACHEROUS GROUND 
 
 "One of the spring novels which will probably be much read and discussed is Johan 
 Bojer's TREACHEROUS GROUND. The Bojer boom began in this country with the publica- 
 tion of THK GREAT HUNGER, a rather curious story of Norway related in a caressing mono- 
 tone. With the publication of TREACHEROUS GROUND the estimate of Bojer will, I think, 
 gain a notch or so, and in the parlance of the markets, remain firm. It is the most consid- 
 erable, the most intelligently conceived, and the smoothest of the three that I have read. 
 
 "On the surface it is a slightly pensive recitation of rueful and dramatic happenings. 
 Essentially, though, it is an expert and complete analysis of a moralistic moron. With the 
 scalpel of a deft technique Bojer lays bare the flabby heart, the gelatinous spine, the mushy 
 brain, the feeble viscera of a pietistic coward, the man of easy sentiment, ready martyrdom, 
 and quick remorse, the male who distrusts his instincts, clouds his reason with every sham, 
 relies upon a Pippa Passes and Marxian heaven, and wonders why he fares so ill. And so 
 pleasantly interesting is Bojer in this display of clinical virtuosity that you forget to ob- 
 serve that the cadaver is more than a trifle nauseous. At once a scientific and artistic tri- 
 umph, combining the art of the prestidigitateur with that of the surgeon. 
 
 "It is a fine, ironic story, none the less poignant for its being bitter-sweet." BURTON 
 RABCOE, in the Chicago Tribune.
 
 LIFE 
 
 BY 
 
 JOHAN BOJER 
 
 AUTHOR OF "THE GREAT HUNGER" 
 
 TRANSLATED FROM THE NORWEGIAN BY 
 
 JESSIE MUIR 
 
 NEW YORK 
 
 MOFFAT, YARD AND COMPANY 
 
 1920
 
 COPTHIGHT, 1920, 
 ' BY 
 
 MOFFAT, YAED & COMPANY^
 
 College 
 Library 
 
 ?T 
 
 LIFE 
 
 1060341
 
 LIFE 
 
 A FEW days before Easter, Tangen, the 
 artist, met his friend Dr. Holth in the street, 
 and stopped him with a wave of his hand. 
 
 "Why, you're the very person I was think- 
 ing about!" he said. "You're invited to Gen- 
 eral Bang's place in the mountains for Easter, 
 and of course you'll accept with thanks." 
 
 Dr. Holth stood with a bundle of books un- 
 der his arm. He was a man of about forty, 
 square-built and broad, with a tired face and 
 a dark moustache. 
 
 "To the mountains I? Who's going to cor- 
 rect my hundreds of exercise-books and give 
 lectures here, there and everywhere? Oh, no, 
 my friend! A father of a family and school- 
 master can't do quite what a famous artist 
 would do 1" He would have passed on, but the 
 other put his hand through his arm and went 
 
 on with him. 
 
 1
 
 2 Life 
 
 "Now just listen to me, Holth!" he said. 
 "If you were to throw off the bread-winner, 
 schoolmaster and social reformer for a week, 
 you'd see what a different man you'd be when 
 you came back. There'll be moonlight and 
 dancing on the mountains Weib, Wein und 
 Gesang." 
 
 "Don't talk so frivolously to an old man!" 
 
 "Don't you know that an Austrian has dis- 
 covered a preventive of old age? It's called 
 dancing." 
 
 Jorgen Holth, when a student, had been tu- 
 tor at General Bang's when the latter, as colo- 
 nel, lived in town; and since then he had al- 
 ways been welcome in the hospitable house, 
 though latterly he had become such an active 
 socialist that he felt that he no longer fitted in 
 there. 
 
 "Oh, by-the-bye," said the artist, "you 
 weren't made professor this time either." 
 
 "Professor! I!" The other laughed scorn- 
 fully, and quickened his pace. As they went 
 up the palace hill, his tall, slim companion fre- 
 quently raised his hat to acquaintances. He 
 was a little younger than Holth, but had had
 
 Life 3 
 
 wider experience. A poor country lad, he 
 had been apprenticed to a house-painter, but 
 studied and drew at night. He spent a few 
 stirring years in America, came home full of 
 Yankee confidence, became an artist, rapidly 
 made a name, and one fine day married into 
 one of the best families in the country. His 
 fame was now European ; he was a grand seig- 
 neur when he had money, and a magician in 
 finding ways of obtaining more, always thirst- 
 ing for new knowledge and new impressions, 
 which he swallowed with the same healthy ap- 
 petite that he did good dinners and rare wines. 
 He had travelled much and had many suc- 
 cesses and many reverses, both of which he 
 took cheerfully, was a sportsman and a social 
 lion, and remained wonderfully young. 
 
 "There's a girl going to be there who ad- 
 mires you," he said. 
 
 "Oh, indeed! Very likely!" 
 
 "She's been a pupil of yours, and her name's 
 Astrid Riis golden hair and good figure. And 
 there'll be Fru Ramm, a Titian Madonna, and 
 Fru Hiorth well, you must see her for your- 
 self." And the artist went on to give a list of
 
 4 Life 
 
 the young ladies who were going on this moun- 
 tain excursion, clicking his tongue at each 
 name. Holth could not help listening, and in 
 reality had the greatest desire to go, not for 
 the sake of the ladies, but because he could 
 scarcely remember when he had last been in the 
 country and had a real rest. The end of it was 
 that after they had gone a good way, Tangen 
 succeeded in wringing from him a promise. 
 "Though goodness only knows how I'm to get 
 away!" he thought, as he tramped on home- 
 wards with his books under his arm. 
 
 Jorgen Holth was one of those all-round 
 geniuses, who dart about among innumerable 
 things, without actually getting on. He had 
 once meant to be a poet, but as he could not 
 marry on that, he took up social culture, and 
 even took his doctor's degree; but his family 
 had to be provided for, and in the meantime he 
 took to teaching. As years passed and his 
 family increased, his temporary occupation still 
 held him fast. His disappointments had by 
 degrees turned him into an ardent socialist, 
 and lectures and newspaper articles claimed a 
 certain amount of his time. But the same
 
 Life 5 
 
 absence of sunshine and fresh air that pre- 
 vailed in the schoolroom, the working-men's 
 hall, and his own gloomy flat, now began to 
 characterise his reasoning. When he had tried 
 to become a professor, he put down his failure 
 to the intrigues of evilly-disposed persons ; and 
 when he had twice suffered defeat in an elec- 
 tion, it was once more persecution. He had 
 now become a pale, shabbily-dressed man, who 
 slept and fared ill and was often fretful. 
 
 Easter was late this year, and the snow had 
 disappeared from the neighbourhood of Kris- 
 tiania, when, on the morning of Maundy 
 Thursday, the crowded train steamed out of 
 the town. When Holth had arrived at the sta- 
 tion, it was some time before he succeeded, in 
 all the crush and noise, in finding Tangen. He 
 had gazed at all the holiday-clad people, busily 
 engaged in getting their skis registered. Their 
 faces were as pale as his own, but shone with an 
 expectancy that he could not understand. 
 
 "Upon my word, I think all Kristiania's go- 
 ing into the country!" he said to the artist as 
 they passed through the waiting-room. 
 
 "Why," said Tangen, "are you so entirely
 
 6 Life 
 
 out of everything as not to know of the great 
 change of religion in Norway! The churches 
 are empty at the great festivals, my friend, for 
 the gods of the present day have moved up to 
 the mountains." 
 
 They were to travel with the general's eldest 
 son Reidar, a man of about thirty, a merchant 
 and athlete, red-haired, beardless, and with 
 somewhat sleepy eyes. The rest of the party 
 had gone up the day before. The thing now 
 was to find places. 
 
 It was a long train that at last moved out 
 in the grey morning light. Holth sat by 
 the window and watched the last houses dis- 
 appear, and brown fields and dripping trees 
 take their place. But before long, patches of 
 snow began to gleam out here and there, and 
 in a trice they were in the midst of winter. A 
 dusky red sun rose from behind dark hills and 
 lighted up the windows in the scattered dwel- 
 lings. 
 
 "Well, old man!" said Tangen, slapping 
 Holth's knee. "How do you think the com- 
 munity will get on without you? Don't you 
 think it'll be jolly to be a bachelor for a week,
 
 Life 7 
 
 and breathe fresh air in the company of girls?" 
 
 Reidar Bang looked satirical. "You poor 
 married men!" he said. "You'll have an ac- 
 count to render when you get home again!" 
 
 "He's a misogynist and has read too much 
 Schopenhauer," said Tangen with a pitying 
 glance at Reidar. "But just wait a little! 
 We shall soon have him falling deeply in love." 
 
 Reidar raised his light eyebrows and smiled, 
 but said nothing. He knew quite well how 
 busily people were trying to get him to marry. 
 On this occasion his sister Inga had invited a 
 friend of hers, and he quite understood why, 
 but he did not intend to touch her even with 
 a pair of tongs. 
 
 Pipes were lighted and the conversation grew 
 lively, and Holth's spirits began to rise by as- 
 sociation with these merry souls. Later in the 
 morning, Reidar proposed that they should 
 leave the train at the halfway station, and go 
 across the mountains. Holth tnought it a mad 
 idea. "You must be crazy!" he said. "I 
 haven't had a pair of skis on my feet within the 
 memory of man !" Tangen was charmed, how- 
 ever, and all of a sudden, at a station, Reidar
 
 8 Life 
 
 got up, saying, "Here we are !" seized his knap- 
 sack, and hurried out. Tangen followed, and 
 to his own surprise, Holth too found himself 
 standing on the platform with a pair of skis 
 in his hand, while the train rumbled on again. 
 
 "Which way do we go now?" 
 
 "Heavenwards," said the artist, pointing to 
 the moor that rose skywards above the wooded 
 hills, covered with newly-fallen snow. Holth 
 sighed and followed the others, at first with his 
 skis on his shoulder. It was very still after 
 the noisy town, and the air was so fresh and 
 light, that he stopped involuntarily to drink 
 it in. 
 
 The other two seemed to have undergone a 
 transformation. Holth spoke to them, but 
 they did not answer. They hastened on with 
 uplifted head and quivering nostrils, like 
 hounds just loosed. Their bodies seemed 
 greedy for the steep climb, and they hummed 
 to themselves with eagerness and delight. 
 Holth did not relish their company, and would 
 have liked to turn back. People are so dif- 
 ferent, he thought. Here were these two fops 
 in elegant sporting costume, and himself in a
 
 Life 9 
 
 kind of mixture. When they stopped higher 
 up the hill to put on their skis, he looked at 
 their new-fashioned ^'-fastenings that were 
 attached to the foot with a single movement 
 of the hand; and he himself had to use cord 
 and string. No, he did not shine in such com- 
 pany; he ought to have stayed at home! 
 
 "Hurrah!" shouted Reidar out over the val- 
 ley that now lay far below them. They could 
 still hear the roar of the disappearing train like 
 a far-away rattling among the mountains. 
 "Hurrah!'* echoed Tangen, as he raised him- 
 self to his full height and swung his arms to 
 fill his lungs with air. "Now we're off!" 
 
 Holth soon proved the truth of this. As a 
 country lad he had been clever enough on skis, 
 but today he was soon out of breath. The 
 other two had nothing in their hands; but al- 
 though he, after the old-fashioned manner, 
 used a long stick, he kept on falling, and had 
 great difficulty in getting upon his feet again. 
 His boots became filled with snow, he got the 
 points of his skis in among osiers and lost time 
 in getting free again; he slid backwards in a 
 crack and then fell head foremost in the snow,
 
 10 Life 
 
 and swore angrily when the others went quietly 
 on. "You might wait!" he cried. "We must 
 take breath!" "We must begin first," Tangen 
 called back over his shoulder. Holth looked 
 after them and his lips tightened. Things al- 
 ways go right for some people. Here was this 
 artist, who had grown up in a cottage and had 
 had no schooling, and he was famous. And 
 Reidar, an idler at school, but now head of a 
 large business which he himself had made, in- 
 terested in everything, from racing to the latest 
 concert. That is how life favours a few people. 
 But he himself he was always left behind, 
 and would soon be worn out and old. 
 "I say ! You might wait for me 1" 
 He toiled and perspired, and the pulse in his 
 neck hammered so hard against his collar that 
 he had to unfasten the button. The sun melted 
 the snow so that it stuck to the skis and made 
 them very heavy. A large bird flew up among 
 the trees with a dash and a shower of snow in 
 its wake; a little farther on a hare darted away. 
 They got higher and higher, zigzagging up 
 the incline, stooping under boughs and being 
 lashed in the face and half -blinded by fir twigs.
 
 Life 11 
 
 A distant sound of church-bells reached them 
 from the valley. Morning service was over. 
 When Holth stood still, he saw on the other 
 side of the valley, hill behind hill in the blue 
 distance, and last of all the white range of 
 mountains, in billows of gold and blue beneath 
 the clear sky. 
 
 They were now above the tree-limit, and be- 
 fore them rose the moor like an enormous snow- 
 drift. The other two put on dark spectacles, 
 but Holth had not been so provident, and the 
 snow seemed like a white flame that beat into 
 his eyes. The icy wind up here cut through 
 his perspiring body, and he thought of in- 
 flammation of the lungs and death. And now 
 he felt a blister on his heel! He might get 
 blood-poisoning! This would indeed be an 
 Easter! 
 
 At last they sighted the cairn, so the worst 
 was over. But now the very land began to 
 play pranks with him. They went on and 
 on, and the confounded cairn was as far off 
 as ever. Here a hidden plain revealed itself, 
 that must first be crossed; and there lay a 
 valley into which they must descend and then
 
 12 Life 
 
 ascend the opposite side, and so on. Holth 
 gazed dully at the labouring back of the ar- 
 tist, and plodded on and on. He would never 
 survive this! 
 
 The cairn was a little heap of stones upon 
 bare rock, and when at last they reached it, 
 Holth threw himself down with a groan. 
 
 "Are you tired?" asked Tangen, unfasten- 
 ing his skis. 
 
 "Oh no, not in the least!" he answered 
 crossly. 
 
 "Here's an orange," said Bang, taking some 
 out of his knapsack. They peeled and ate this 
 golden fruit that had strayed up into the eter- 
 nal snow. Holth complained of his sore heel, 
 and Reidar said he should put a plaster on it. 
 "Plaster!" snarled Holth. "Won't you run 
 to the chemist's for one?" But with the sleep- 
 iest of expressions Reidar began to remove 
 Holth's ski and boot, saying: "Let's have a 
 look at it !" He drew off the stocking, washed 
 the foot with snow, dried it with his pocket- 
 handkerchief, and took out his pocket-book. 
 "Here's some plaster," he said. "A sports- 
 man carries everything with him." Tangeri
 
 Life 13 
 
 offered vaseline, and Holth was quite touched. 
 It was very long since he had had comrades 
 like this. If they were indifferent to his 
 weariness they were, at any rate, careful 
 enough about his wound. 
 
 When he once more stood up, his foot was 
 all right, and as they glided on in the sunshine, 
 casting long shadows across the dazzling snow, 
 Holth fancied he was not quite so tired. A 
 sense of well-being pervaded his limbs. Ah, 
 he had neglected a powerful frame for many 
 years, but now what had happened? He held 
 up his head and felt inclined to shout out some 
 nonsense, to make the mountains answer and 
 fling it out to the sky. Troubles and reverses 
 seemed to grow small. There would be sure 
 to be some way out of them. 
 
 Many miles off, the white horizon rose and 
 fell, assuming fantastical shapes of men and 
 animals. To the north stood two old wives 
 with their heads up in the sky, gossiping on 
 just the same subjects as they had discussed 
 from time immemorial. A fissure in a moun- 
 tain was a valley containing many villages; 
 and beyond were more mountains and more
 
 14 Life 
 
 fissures. It was Norway. Holth could have 
 described it all in the schoolroom, and yet it 
 now seemed as if he had never seen it before. 
 In town the sky was only a theory, but here 
 it was an actual thing. It glowed in the south, 
 it flickered in the west. The skis glided of 
 themselves ; the feet moved, but only to yield, 
 not to work. It was like a voluptuous dance 
 across a floor bounded by infinity itself, be- 
 neath a dome whose height none had meas- 
 ured. The mind is filled with rhythm, and one 
 looks about smiling. 
 
 "Oh, look there!" cried Bang suddenly, as 
 a flock of white birds rose up and flew quickly 
 away through the blue air. "Ptarmigan!" 
 said Tangen. "Mountain ptarmigan!" said 
 Reidar, his sleepy face becoming wide awake. 
 "I must see how many there were." And he 
 set off after them, bending forward and 
 swinging his arms, his yellow skis looking like 
 flames upon the white snow. He went a 
 such a pace that he had soon dwindled into a 
 speck far away. 
 
 "That's a fellow with lungs and muscles!"
 
 Life 15 
 
 said Tangen. "Come on! He'll catch us 
 up." 
 
 "Has he really never heen engaged?" asked 
 Holth, who now, being in good spirits, was 
 ready to talk about women. 
 
 "He shuns girls, my friend, because he has 
 dreamt that one is going to ruin him. Would 
 you believe that that iron frame is the abode 
 of mysticism? In May last year he dreamt 
 that on the 14th of January this year he was 
 to telegraph such and such a message to his 
 agent in Odessa, about a large grain specula- 
 tion, and he did it and made thousands over 
 it. He is a fatalist and muses upon death, 
 and at the same time plays tennis and ruins 
 his rivals in business. Oh, he'll get on!" 
 
 "There he is again!" And the black speck 
 grew rapidly out of the snowy sheet, then 
 he shouted, and a moment later dashed up to 
 them. "There were at least fifty," he said, 
 wiping the perspiration from his face. 
 
 "And all that exertion only to find out 
 that!" thought Holth. 
 
 The plateau now began to slope down to the 
 next valley, and the pace became quicker.
 
 16 Life 
 
 Tangen went as if on skates, and Reidar in 
 frolicsome bounds from sheer exuberance of 
 spirits. Holth had to lean on his stick, ex- 
 pecting every minute that he would fall. The 
 wind whistled past his ears and cuf through 
 him; his eyes watered and the snow seemed 
 like a fabric running up to and past him. 
 Soon a dark line was visible below. It was 
 the tree-limit once more. In a little while they 
 had glided down on to a frozen lake, and sud- 
 denly heard a shout. 
 
 "They've come to meet us," said Reidar; 
 and soon after they saw on the farther shore 
 two sH-ers, a man and a woman. Before 
 them lay the white, undisturbed surface of 
 the lake, which now, from both sides, became 
 scored with long ski-tracks. In the advancing 
 couple Reidar recognised his youngest sister 
 Inga, and Tangen his brother Henrik. "The 
 rogue knows jolly well what he's about," he 
 said. 
 
 The last time Tangen had seen the young 
 girl, she was in ball-dress, and now she wore 
 a short frieze dress, with embroidered belt 
 and a red woollen cap upon her dark hair.
 
 Life 17 
 
 On her feet she wore great thick boots, out of 
 the tops of which stuck goat's-hair socks. And 
 yet she glided towards them as easily and 
 freely as if she had neved moved upon any- 
 thing but skis. 
 
 "You've frightened us nearly out of our 
 lives," she said, a little breathlessly, as she 
 pushed back a wave of dark hair from her 
 rosy face. "The boy came home from the 
 station with an empty sleigh and not so much 
 as a telegram even." And she smiled, disclos- 
 ing gleaming white teeth. 
 
 "It looks as if you two had guessed which 
 way we should come, however," said Reidar, 
 chucking her under the chin. "Or had you 
 and Henrik thought of running away?" 
 
 Inga gave her companion a sidelong glance, 
 and the young man pulled his fair moustache 
 and laughed. 
 
 Soon the whole party were on their way 
 to the wood, where there was more shelter 
 than on the plateau. 
 
 "I say, old man," said Tangen to his 
 brother, "who gave you leave to go about 
 alone with Froken Bang?"
 
 18 Life 
 
 They smiled at one another, these two 
 brothers, whose mother had been a servant- 
 maid. They had been brought up separately, 
 at the expense of the parish; but when Hen- 
 rik was only just past the confirmation-age, 
 the elder brother had established a position 
 for himself, and was able to help the younger. 
 The young architect had recently returned 
 from a residence of some years in Paris, full 
 of plans for creating something new at home. 
 
 The incline now became steep. Reidar drew 
 his cap down over his ears and disappeared in 
 a cloud of snow brushed from branches and 
 bushes as he sped past. Inga followed him 
 with her hands in her pockets. At one mo- 
 ment it looked as if a branch would cut her in 
 two, but she stooped in time; at another as if 
 she would fall over a tree-stump, but she 
 turned aside and disappeared, her hands in 
 her pockets all the time. Holth came last, 
 and for him the descent was dangerous and 
 full of knocks and falls, cuts and scratches. 
 When at last he reached the general's place, 
 with its little red houses on the hill, his ears 
 were full of snow, and his face burning after
 
 Life 19 
 
 his numerous falls. In the yard there was 
 a little forest of skis stuck into the snow; and 
 the white-haired wife of the general was 
 standing on a balcony, waving her hand to 
 the newcomers. 
 
 "We must have a bucketful of cold water 
 thrown over us to prevent our catching cold," 
 said Reidar, leading Holth into a little bath- 
 house. It was no use making objections. He 
 had to undress; but he nearly fainted with 
 the shock of the cold water. After a good 
 rub down, however, and a change of clothes 
 from his knapsack, he followed the others 
 through the snow over to the main building, 
 with a sense of well-being that made him feel 
 many years younger.
 
 II 
 
 IF any one had asked General Bang 
 whether he was a happy man, he would have 
 answered with a careless wave of. the hand. 
 Happiness or unhappiness as if he had time 
 to ponder over such things! When inspect- 
 ing, he used to come down like a whirlwind, 
 and fill the drill-ground with a mixture of 
 fear, bustle and festive pleasure. Then sud- 
 denly one day he reached the age-limit, to his 
 intense bewilderment. What! Was he, who 
 still had so much to do was he old? Had it 
 come to an end ? There was scarcely one silver 
 thread in his dark beard, and his thick-set 
 frame was as elastic as ever. Was he nearly 
 seventy he? 
 
 It was hard to go about with nothing to 
 do when his friends set off for the drill- 
 ground, and the atmosphere of his pretty 
 house in Drammens Road was oppressive as 
 he wandered restlessly from room to room. 
 
 It had formerly been a recreation for him 
 
 20
 
 Life 21 
 
 to play the violin, but now it only reminded 
 him of idleness. It was better when the shoot- 
 ing began, and before it came lo an end he 
 was fortunate enough to have found mistakes 
 in the province maps which, of course, must 
 be corrected, even if he had to do it himself. 
 Or he discovered regions in which a sana- 
 torium should be built ; or he went into sseters 
 and found things that; might be improved if 
 only people had their eyes open. He wan- 
 dered in forest and mountain, always restless, 
 as if he were afraid of something unpleasant 
 happening to him; indeed, he became so busy 
 again in one good cause or another, that he 
 once more found it a rest to play the violin. 
 He old! 
 
 But when, in his wanderings, he sat with 
 his chin resting upon Els stick, looking out 
 over forest and moor, memories of the past 
 came back to him. How many of his friends 
 were dead ! Ah yes, but some were still living. 
 And then there were the women. Well, who 
 is there thai; can say he has never been to 
 blame? There was that time with Captain 
 Riis. They were rivals in the military acad-
 
 22 Life 
 
 emy, and there Riis was the fortunate one. 
 Later they were captains on the same drill- 
 ground, and were rivals there too; but when 
 Bang, as major, galloped along the line, Riis 
 was passed over and left behind. One fine day 
 Bang galloped along the same line as general, 
 while Riis still stood, a grey-haired captain, 
 who had to lower his sword to salute his su- 
 perior officer. There are ups and downs. 
 And it was summer, with light nights, and 
 Riis, who had married late in life, was visited 
 in camp by his pretty young wife. . . . But 
 there, he must be going on if he is to get home 
 in time for supper. 
 
 Years had passed, and the previous winter 
 Inga came home and spoke about a friend of 
 hers in the gymnastic class, Astrid Riis. Oh 
 yes, she was the daughter of a retired captain. 
 Inga obtained leave to invite her to the Eas^ 
 ;ter outing, but when the general saw the 
 young girl enter the railway-carriage, he 
 started in astonishment. That fresh face un- 
 der the golden hair! Why, it was Fru Riis 
 herself! "Is it really fifteen years since your 
 mother died, Froken Riis? Indeed!"
 
 Life 23 
 
 It was only a little episode, that time long 
 ago, and since then he had been busy about 
 so many things, but that night he had strange 
 dreams. The next morning, even before he 
 had quite finished dressing, Inga came into 
 his room and said: "Is it true that you're 
 going to call on Astrid's father when you 
 go back to town?" "Why, yes! He's an 
 old comrade of mine." "But you mustn't, 
 father!" "Eh, what! Mustn't I?" Inga 
 looked guilty. "No," she said, "because be- 
 cause Astrid didn't dare tell him that that 
 it was to us she was coming." The general 
 stood open-mouthed. "Father, what was 
 there between Captain Riis and you?" 
 
 "Doesn't her father know where she ?" 
 
 "No; but as she keeps house for him and 
 works besides, half the day, in an office, don't 
 you think she deserves a little holiday?" 
 "Jesuit!" said the general, shaking his head. 
 "Besides, he's quite certain never to hear of it, 
 because he never sees anybody." "Doesn't 
 he?" said the general, turning to the window. 
 "Does he never see anybody?" 
 
 General Bang was always busy up in the
 
 24 Life 
 
 mountains too. He would himself sweep 
 paths in the snow to all the little outhouses; 
 he would bring in the firewood with his own 
 hands ; he had his favorite view from one par- 
 ticular window to which he had continually to 
 go; there were visitors and he had much to 
 see to. But today, through it all ran the 
 thought: "So, Captain Riis, you've shut 
 yourself up, have you, and people are deceiv- 
 ing you now too!" 
 
 The new guests arrived, and the fire in the 
 high-raftered room shone upon a noisy assem- 
 bly. There were the children of the house, the 
 sons-in-law, and some friends. There was the 
 eldest son, a forest-inspector, a perfect giant, 
 with brown beard and kind eyes. There was 
 Hjort, a business manager, and his pretty 
 young wife, with whom Tangen was already 
 carrying on a low-toned conversation; and the 
 general was walking about the room with a 
 daughter on each arm, one dark, Fru Ramm, 
 the other fair, Fru Heiberg. In front of the 
 fire sat the youngest son, Harald, an engineer, 
 and when in town a dandy, but here collarless 
 and wearing patched trousers and a coarse
 
 Life 25 
 
 woollen jersey, and thankful that he was a 
 sportsman. He admired his brother Reidar 
 for his triumphs in sport and good strokes 
 of business; and he dreamed of beating him 
 in both lines. 
 
 "Confounded humbug the whole of it!" 
 came from the open door, as the two sons-in- 
 law made their appearance the young beard- 
 less Captain Ramm, and Dr. Heiberg, a 
 plump man with gold-rimmed eyeglasses. 
 
 "Most of it's humbug," said the captain, as 
 he shut the door. "I'm certain that next year 
 the Storthing " 
 
 "For goodness' sake, don't let us have any 
 Storthing talk up here, where we meant to 
 breathe pure air!" 
 
 The walls of the great room were adorned 
 with elks' heads, hunting implements, and 
 hangings woven by the daughters of the 
 house; and the chairs hollowed out of trunks 
 of trees were so big that one could almost 
 have lain down in them. 
 
 "But we ought really to have dinner now," 
 said the active little hostess. "You who've 
 come over the mountains must be fearfully
 
 26 Life 
 
 hungry!" Her small face was rosy under her 
 white hair, and her whole person spotlessly 
 clean, and her brown eyes twinkled roguishly. 
 "Oh, by the by, Holth, you haven't told me 
 anything about your wife and children yet," 
 she went on, taking Holth's hand in both hers 
 and drawing him aside. 
 
 Just then the door opened, and a bent, 
 white-haired old lady entered with a stick in 
 her hand. Cries of "Grandmother! Grand- 
 mother!" greeted her on all sides. It was 
 difficult to believe that Fru Bang, who had 
 long been a grandmother herself, had brought 
 her mother with her up into the mountains. 
 The old lady's name was Fru Kindt, and she 
 used to say jokingly that she did not remem- 
 ber whether she was eighty or ninety. 
 
 "Ah, there's the bad man who never comes 
 to see us now," she said, making her way 
 towards Holth. 
 
 When at last dinner was ready, they had to 
 go out to another little building that stood by 
 itself up among the trees. The path up to it 
 through the snow had become so soft in the 
 sun that they sank ankle-deep in it. This
 
 Life 27 
 
 caused some fun. Some of them found in 
 the kitchen big straw slippers which they put 
 on; the tall forester trusted to his own legs 
 and took his wife upon his back; and the 
 general and Reidar carried the old lady in a 
 dandy-chair, although she screamed like a 
 young girl. Tangen was most unlucky, for 
 as he lifted Fru Hiorth in one arm and set 
 off, he tripped and fell headlong, so that the 
 lady was flung far off into the snow, and be- 
 fore he could come to her assistance, another 
 rescue-party had been sent out to bring her 
 ashore. Laughing and shouting they came 
 into the little raftered room, where they were 
 met by the warmth from another fire and the 
 smell from steaming saucepans. 
 
 It seemed to Holth that no food had ever 
 tasted so good as this with a truly primeval 
 appetite after his exertions on the mountains 
 and the cold shower, and with the sunlight 
 falling across the floor. And tomorrow too 
 he would be free ! The hot meat was pleasant 
 to his palate; there was no wine, but he held 
 up his glass of clear, bright water, and let 
 it sparkle in the sun.
 
 28 Life 
 
 The conversation became general, as at a 
 festive dinner, faces were merry and flushed 
 with the cold, lips smiled and eyes sparkled. 
 
 Holth was placed beside the old lady, who 
 now turned to him to say: "You can't think 
 how different young people are now from 
 what they were in my time/' 
 
 "I can quite believe it," he replied. 
 
 "No longer ago than when the general was 
 a young lieutenant and was courting my 
 daughter, he would come with some fellow- 
 officers and serenade her; while now now 
 they invite one another to tennis and ski-ex- 
 cursions." And the old lady closed her eyes, 
 as if to recall memories of bygone days. 
 
 Suddenly Dr. Heiberg held up a piece of 
 stuff in one hand, and every one looked at it. 
 "I found this in the wood," he said, stroking 
 his beard. "Some ski-ex must have torn his 
 trousers upon a branch in passing; but I won- 
 der whether it was a man." 
 
 The ladies cried out in chorus, and Fru 
 Ramm leaned across the table and snatched 
 the piece of stuff from him. "Oh, was it 
 yours, Anna?" he said, going on with his din-
 
 Life 29 
 
 ner. "Be quiet!" she cried, blushing and look- 
 ing across at Tangen. "Your wife ought to 
 look after your manners a little, for you're 
 getting worse and worse." 
 
 "Do you think I don't try?" said her fair 
 sister, who sat near her. "But he can wait 
 now until we've finished dinner." 
 
 The great, steaming dishes of meat were 
 rapidly emptied. Inga often rose from the 
 table to help with the waiting, and it was 
 easy to see from her important air that she 
 was the youngest daughter of the house. 
 Very soon Astrid Riis was allowed to help 
 her, and the two young girls became quite 
 maternal in their care, as they passed back- 
 wards and forwards across the broad stream 
 of sunshine on the floor, Inga dark and slen- 
 der, Astrid with her golden hair shining in 
 the sun, and both with the free, easy carriage 
 that gymnastics and dancing give. 
 
 The general followed Astrid's movements 
 with little side-glances. "How can you have 
 managed to keep your father in ignorance as 
 to where you are?" he thought. How like 
 her mother she was!
 
 30 Life 
 
 For the young girl too, to be a guest here 
 was like a strange dream. She had always 
 heard from her father that the general was a 
 monster of iniquity, and she had come here 
 with Inga out of a rash desire to venture 
 close up to him. And there he sat, smiling 
 and looking kind and nice, and she was wait- 
 ing on him. How strange! If her father 
 were to know! But there was something so 
 foolhardy about it, too, that a thrill ran down 
 her spine, and she bent her head to hide the 
 smile that came to her lips. 
 
 The hum of conversation continued until 
 nil turned their attention to Tangen, who 
 was saying that culture had its origin in beau- 
 tiful women. 
 
 "When I stand and look down upon Rome 
 or Paris," he said, "I think of all the women 
 who must have shed tears in order that 
 all those beautiful buildings, gardens, parks, 
 monuments and fountains could be pro- 
 duced." 
 
 "Tears?" questioned several voices. 
 
 "A beautiful woman has no soul until her
 
 Life 31 
 
 heart is broken, so of course she cannot in- 
 spire when she smiles." 
 
 "Just listen to him!" 
 
 "Then it's one of the aims of culture to 
 break women's hearts," said the general, smil- 
 ing. 
 
 Tangen was seated beside Fru Hiorth, and 
 the pleasure of it made him almost arrogant. 
 It is true he loved his wife, and at parting 
 had sworn that he would think of her all the 
 time; but it was not easy to be he. He^had 
 had no opportunity of being young until 
 lately, and now he had so much appetite saved 
 up. Then he met one woman who made him 
 feel like a youth of twenty, and then he 
 met another who surpassed all others. There 
 was so much that was beautiful in the 
 world, and at the present moment it was Fru 
 Hiorth and no other. 
 
 She was the daughter of a priest, and was 
 only two or three and twenty. Her oval face, 
 framed by waving brown hair, had acquired 
 an olive tinge up here; and her dark, arched 
 eyebrows, her teeth, her lips, the whole fresh,
 
 34 Life 
 
 "I was ejected, ladies and gentlemen, be- 
 cause I said I would make a slave of my 
 wife." And in his cap and apron he went 
 on down to the other house, followed by peals 
 of laughter. 
 
 The sun was just sinking behind the daz- 
 zingly white ridge in the west, and great red 
 clouds glowed like flames over half the sky. 
 What the sun had melted earlier was now 
 frozen again, and the hill to the north of the 
 houses was soon alive with dark figures, swing- 
 ing arms, and sfcz'-points shooting incessantly 
 past one another. The snow sighed beneath 
 the big forester, who drew his wife by the 
 hand. Hiorth kept fast hold of his too, think- 
 ing, as he glanced at Tangen, that it was best 
 to make sure of what one had. They all gath- 
 ered upon the hill, and looked down into the 
 blue shadows of the valley. The pace would 
 be pretty fast, and for a moment no one-, 
 seemed to be inclined to be the first to try it. 
 
 Inga and Astrid had finished washing-up, 
 and now came up too on their skis. 
 
 "Do you dare?" said Henrik, raising his 
 hand to Inga.
 
 Life 35 
 
 "Catch me if you can!" she answered with 
 a little grimace, and dashed off. For a mo- 
 ment there was the swish of a single pair of 
 skis, and then the young man darted after her, 
 but outside her tracks, so as not to run into 
 her if she fell. What a pace they went at! 
 The air was like ice against face and chest. 
 He saw her a dark figure that kept sinking 
 before him. She had her hands in her jacket- 
 pockets even now, as she came upon a drift 
 and was carried up into the air, bending to 
 take the descent, on again with hair loosened 
 and flying in the wind like a kite. Now she 
 shot up and over the road and he after, though 
 he all but fell. She, in front, broke into a 
 laugh and bending to the right, swung round 
 with a swish up the hill again to stop herself. 
 Then she took her hands out of her pockets 
 and looked round. He dashed up beside her 
 out of breath with the race and the excite- 
 ment of it, and caught hold of her hand, cry- 
 ing: "You said I was to catch you." 
 
 "Yes, but see if you can keep me!" And 
 she was off again up the hill.
 
 34 Life 
 
 "I was ejected, ladies and gentlemen, be- 
 cause I said I would make a slave of my 
 wife." And in his cap and apron he went 
 on down to the other house, followed by peals 
 of laughter. 
 
 The sun was just sinking behind the daz- 
 zingly white ridge in the west, and great red 
 clouds glowed like flames over half the sky. 
 What the sun had melted earlier was now 
 frozen again, and the hill to the north of the 
 houses was soon alive with dark figures, swing- 
 ing arms, and sjfo'-points shooting incessantly 
 past one another. The snow sighed beneath 
 the big forester, who drew his wife by the 
 hand. Hiorth kept fast hold of his too, think- 
 ing, as he glanced at Tangen, that it was best 
 to make sure of what one had. They all gath- 
 ered upon the hill, and looked down into the 
 blue shadows of the valley. The pace would 
 be pretty fast, and for a moment no one 
 seemed to be inclined to be the first to try it. 
 
 Inga and Astrid had finished washing-up, 
 and now came up too on their skis. 
 
 "Do you dare?" said Henrik, raising his 
 hand to Inga.
 
 Life 35 
 
 "Catch me if you can!" she answered with 
 a little grimace, and dashed off. For a mo- 
 ment there was the swish of a single pair of 
 skis, and then the young man darted after her, 
 but outside her tracks, so as not to run into 
 her if she fell. What a pace they went at! 
 The air was like ice against face and chest. 
 He saw her a dark figure that kept sinking 
 before him. She had her hands in her jacket- 
 pockets even now, as she came upon a drift 
 and was carried up into the air, bending to 
 take the descent, on again with hair loosened 
 and flying in the wind like a kite. Now she 
 shot up and over the road and he after, though 
 he all but fell. She, in front, broke into a 
 laugh and bending to the right, swung round 
 with a swish up the hill again to stop herself. 
 Then she took her hands out of her pockets 
 and looked round. He dashed up beside her 
 out of breath with the race and the excite- 
 ment of it, and caught hold of her hand, cry- 
 ing: "You said I was to catch you." 
 
 "Yes, but see if you can keep me!" And 
 she was off again up the hill.
 
 36 Life 
 
 "I was so afraid you'd fall," he said, trying 
 to keep up with her. 
 
 "Oh, rubbish! It was yourself you were 
 afraid for." 
 
 "Oh, I say!" 
 
 "I'm certain that if I broke my neck, you'd 
 be off at once to the next girl." 
 
 "What?" At this he really had to come up 
 with her. 
 
 "Look! Is that Orion?" she said, pointing 
 with her gloved hand; but no sooner had he 
 turned to look at the yellow constellation than 
 she suddenly disappeared, leaving him stand- 
 ing moodily where she left him. 
 
 Hiorth had after all let go of his wife, and 
 Tangen, as he glided past her, seized her 
 hand and drew her with him until they had 
 gone too far to turn. 
 
 "Oh, don't! I shall fall!" she cried. 
 
 "All the better!" he answered quickly. "I 
 know nothing so delightful as to fall with a 
 beautiful woman!" And they dashed on. 
 
 "You mustn't let go of me, Tangen!" 
 
 "Not even in death!" 
 
 The wind carried away his cap. At the
 
 Life 37 
 
 dizzy pace at which they moved, they might 
 very possibly fall with their heads against a 
 disguised rock, or break their limbs, and they 
 kept a convulsive hold of one another's hands, 
 as if to face a common fate; but she felt that 
 he stood firmly on his feet, and it gave her a 
 sense of security ; she trusted herself to him in 
 a voluptuous terror of what the next moment 
 might bring. They came upon a drift, and 
 together leaped into the air, then on again 
 like two flashes of lightning. Suddenly he 
 shot up over a mound of snow that she es- 
 caped; he felt a jerk to his hand and lost his 
 balance, and the next moment there arose 
 clouds of snow in which two figures and two 
 pairs of skis were being whirled along. 
 
 When at last they came to a standstill, they 
 lay motionless for a few moments to collect 
 their scattered senses. Even when they had 
 risen to their feet again, they stood gazing at 
 one another for an instant, as if in wonder at 
 being there together. Finally, they discov- 
 ered that neither their skis nor their limbs 
 were broken, so there was no reason to do 
 anything but laugh as, still half dazed, they
 
 38 Life 
 
 helped one another to get the snow out of 
 collars and ears. In the fall her elbow had 
 struck his face, and as his nose now began to 
 bleed, she seized a handful of snow and 
 pressed it to his forehead. 
 
 "Oh, dear, was it my fault?" 
 
 "Yes, you've shed my blood, so beware I 
 may require something of you in return." 
 
 "Blood?" 
 
 "No," he said; "something else. But not 1 
 now." 
 
 Here Hiorth came flying up to them with 
 an angry look on his face. "Herr Tangen!" 
 he cried, leaning heavily on his staff as a 
 brake. "Herr Tangen, what is the meaning 
 of this? I must say " But the next mo- 
 ment he fell head foremost over a ridge of 
 drifted snow, and disappeared in smoke and 
 vapour. 
 
 "What were you about to say?" asked Tan- 
 gen, when the other had risen and was able 
 Jo breathe again. "I thought you wanted to 
 say something." 
 
 "Go to the devil!" cried Hiorth, still spit- 
 ting snow out of his mouth.
 
 Life 39 
 
 ''Oh, very well, then we'll go," said Tangen, 
 taking the girl's hand. She looked for a mo- 
 ment at her husband. "You didn't hurt 
 yourself, did you, Hans?" "No, indeed!" he 
 answered, taking the snow out of his hair. 
 In his own opinion his life had been in danger 
 when he fell, and for the moment that over- 
 shadowed everything else. The girl went up 
 with Tangen; the men slept in a room by 
 themselves, so her husband would not get 
 properly hold of her until Easter was over. 
 
 Captain Ramm wanted to take his wife 
 with him down the hill, but she shook her 
 head and kept her eyes upon the two who 
 had just fallen together. "No, I tell you!" 
 she said. "I ought never to put on skis again. 
 I'm too old." And her breast seemed to heave 
 with some secret sorrow. 
 
 "Old! What nonsense! But do you see, 
 Anna, most of these ski-ers have been my 
 pupils in gymnastics. Do you see how well 
 they do it?" 
 
 She was not listening to him, and now, as 
 Tangen and Fru Hiorth drew near, she sud- 
 denly started down the hill alone.
 
 40 Life 
 
 Reidar and young Harald were busy piling 
 up snow for a leap. Harald was a little en- 
 vious of his elder brother, who had scored 
 so many successes in sport. But whit a lit- 
 tle! 
 
 "It's about high enough now," said Reidar, 
 standing up beside the great mound of snow. 
 It was about his own height. "Well, we 
 aren't exactly children, are we?" said his 
 brother, quickly tossing up a few more shovel- 
 fuls. 
 
 "Why, that jump will be almost like the 
 Holmenkol one," said Astrid Riis, as she 
 glided past. 
 
 Reidar raised his cap and bowed stiffly. 
 "Yes, Froken Riis; and who would have ex- 
 pected it of us?" 
 
 She pushed on with head bent and lips 
 compressed. Arrogant creature! He'd bet- 
 ter take care! 
 
 "Come here and look!" was the cry. "Rei- 
 dar's going to take the leap!" 
 
 As Reidar quietly zigzagged up towards 
 the wood to get a run, a grey-haired ski-er
 
 Life 41 
 
 came towards him with his cap in his hand and 
 holding out a telegram. 
 
 "Are you Herr Reidar Bang?" 
 
 Reidar took the telegram and read : "Your 
 mill destroyed last night by fire, with grain, 
 flour and machinery. What is to be done?" 
 Reidar looked thoughtful for a moment. 
 -Well, the mill was, of course, insured, but 
 the year's production and profits were lost, 
 and this amounted to several thousand krones. 
 The next moment he wrote, with his most 
 sleepy expression, an answer on the back of 
 the same form, and giving the messenger five 
 krones, told him to go into the kitchen and get 
 a cup of coffee, and then hurry off and de- 
 spatch the telegram. He then went quietly 
 on up the hill to take the jump. "What was 
 that?" cried his brother after him. "Nothing," 
 he answered, and soon disappeared. Befdre 
 long a shout was heard: "Here he comes!" 
 Harald was standing beside the mound to 
 show whereabouts it was. The next moment 
 a dark figure shot out from among the trees, 
 bending his knees a little as he approached 
 the mound, like a spring gathering force, then
 
 42 Life 
 
 flew past Harald and up into the air. A 
 strip of red sky and blue mountain was vis- 
 ible below his skis,, as he sailed up there in the 
 twilight with arms outstretched like the wings 
 of a bird. It looked as if the attraction of 
 gravitation was suspended, and the man be- 
 longed to the air. He began to sink, but 
 the hillside beneath him sank also, and when 
 he finally came to the ground, he still dashed 
 on in a cloud of snow. 
 
 Harald was already up in the wood to do 
 what his brother had done, and when he flew 
 out from the mound and hovered in the air 
 with outstretched arms, he proudly cried 
 "Hurrah!" Even when he descended and con- 
 tinued his course in a cloud of snow, in danger 
 of falling every moment, he cheered again. 
 Now they could see! 
 
 A little later, as the two brothers passed 
 Astrid Riis, she exclaimed enthusiastically: 
 "How splendidly you took the jump, Herr 
 Harald! I've never seen any one do it with 
 such ease!" 
 
 "And what about my brother?" asked the 
 young man, with sparkling eyes.
 
 Life 43 
 
 "Ah, yes," she said demurely, "he did try 
 it, too, didn't he?" Raidar stared vacantly at 
 the spiteful girl, but as he glided on he could 
 not help laughing. Her simple attempt to 
 tease him was quite touching. 
 
 A round moon had risen over the hills in 
 the east not the cold metallic disc of winter, 
 but the dazzling silver lamp of April. The 
 hillside was soon alive with a noisy crowd, 
 flying down with merry cries, standing or fall- 
 ing, struggling up again and flying on cov- 
 ered with snow, returning with shouts and 
 laughter, each breath sent out like a little 
 white cloud in the cold air, and faces ruddy 
 with, warmth. 
 
 Holth was in a strange mood as he stood at 
 the top of the hill looking on. He had not 
 the courage to go down, and he felt he was 
 old and not wanted. When had he been so 
 young? Not when he was twenty, for then he 
 had had to toil for his daily bread by day 
 and study by night. Then he must have been 
 young afterwards, when he swore to some 
 items on an elections programme, and cried 
 "Hurrah!" for the right councillor? Or
 
 44 Life 
 
 I 
 later? Marriage a heavy family load to 
 
 drag where was his youth? 
 
 "Why are you standing here alone?" said 
 Astrid Riis, as she came up to him, a little 
 out of breath with the hill. 
 
 "Don't trouble about me, Froken Riis. 
 You look much nicer when you fly along 
 alone." 
 
 "Come down with me!" 
 
 ; Astrid, like the others in her class, had 
 been an enthusiastic admirer of Holth in his 
 art-history lessons, and now it was most in- 
 teresting to be able to help him to ski. "That's 
 capital!" she cried, as they set off obliquely 
 down the hill, so as to reduce the pace. "Yes, 
 when you've youth with you!" he answered, 
 more than a little anxious. 
 
 On the way back he took her hand, which 
 was warm although she had taken off her 
 woollen glove. She let him keep it as they 
 went on, and for a moment he felt almost 
 giddy and confused with a new, unknown 
 happiness. But suddenly he seemed to see 
 a worn woman and children of various ages 
 at home, a gloomy flat, debt, a hopeless fu-
 
 Life 45 
 
 i 
 
 ture; and involuntarily he dropped the girl's 
 
 hand, and went on with bent head, 
 
 Henrik Tangen was struggling up alone, 
 rubbing his forehead with snow. There was a 
 little girl he had his eye upon; but he might 
 just as well try to catch a fish with his hands. 
 She was here, there, and everywhere. She 
 flew off hand in hand with the doctor, with her 
 sister, or with one of her brothers; and when 
 he approached her, she was off again asking 
 some one else to go with her. "I ought not 
 to have come here," he thought. "I shall 
 never be happy again." And he turned and 
 looked gravely at the moon. 
 
 His brother had another little run with 
 Fru Hiorth, and when they were alone for a 
 moment at the edge of the wood, he stopped 
 and looked into her face. 
 
 "Forgive me for being quite drunk this 
 evening. Is it you, or the moon, or the coun- 
 try, or only that I'm alive, that makes me 
 lose command over myself? Do you know 
 what happiness is? I know too what adver- 
 sity is; but this evening this evening J>
 
 46 Life 
 
 And he suddenly threw himself back into the 
 snow and lay there with outstretched arms. 
 
 "No, stand still like that, so that I can see 
 your head arched over by the sky. Some day 
 we shall die, and then others will play some 
 evening as we are doing. But we are still 
 alive, and we are still young. 
 
 And I call Thee to witness, Eternal God, 
 That the life that Thou gav'st me is lovely." 
 
 "Hush, Tangen!" said the girl, looking 
 about her. "Get up! Some one might see 
 us!" 
 
 "No, I mean to kiss you. Don't be afraid 
 only your shoe, only the edge of your 
 dress." And before she could prevent him, 
 he had taken hold of her foot, and kissed 
 the thick boot, kissed the icy hem of her skirt, 
 trembling with pleasure as though it had been 
 her face. 
 
 "No, no, Tangen! Let me go! Let me go, 
 do you hear?" And she tore herself away 
 and went on, but slowly, and soon stood still 
 and waited for him. 
 
 A gong was heard, calling to supper.
 
 Life 47 
 
 Henrik Tangen had at last got hold of 
 Inga, and the two came up to the house after 
 the others had gone in. All the way up he 
 had talked enthusiastically about his ideas for 
 new buildings here at home, but she listened 
 to him with an ironic smile. He must not 
 become too vain. Up at the house he knelt 
 down in the snow and unfastened her ski- 
 straps, and as she felt with a slight tremor his 
 fingers about her feet, she gazed full at the 
 moon with shining eyes. With his bare hand 
 he carefully brushed the snow from her shoes 
 and stockings. "Thank you," she said. 
 "There, that'll do! That'll do, I say!" 
 
 The party at the supper-table was a noisy 
 one, and faces and hands glowed with the 
 cold and the heat; but the whole outing was 
 only an incitement to further exercise.
 
 Ill 
 
 LIFE on the mountains brings people into 
 a state of innocence, and they become children 
 again. In a dance no woman sits out be- 
 cause she is plain, no man excuses himself 
 with inability to dance, no one makes spiteful 
 remarks in corners about others' dresses, for 
 no one "dresses," and all are alike. 
 
 The walls in the large hall were so dark 
 that neither the fire nor the lamps hanging 
 from the roof could make it very light, and 
 the couples whirled about in a ruddy half- 
 light. There was a noise of sturdy feet, for 
 the dancing shoes were leather boots with 
 inch-thick soles. The room grew warm, and 
 the men discarded their coats and danced on 
 in their shirt-sleeves; they were on the moun- 
 tains. The general had been forbidden to 
 .dance, but how could he remember a little 
 heart-trouble at such a time I Never mind; 
 we all have to die. 
 
 During a pause he went up to Holth, who 
 
 48
 
 Life 49 
 
 stood wiping his forehead after his exertions. 
 
 "Well, monsieur!" he said, slapping him 
 upon the shoulder. "What do you like 
 best at the present moment dancing or so- 
 cialism?" 
 
 "I dance so badly, general. It must be the 
 fault of socialism." 
 
 "Then you can revenge yourself upon all 
 your 'isms and learn a proper waltz." 
 
 "It's too late now." 
 
 "Nonsense! Why, I, a man of seventy, 
 went to a new dancing class last year to learn 
 the Merry Widow waltz, and it's made me 
 younger by twenty years. No, a composer 
 who flings out upon the world a melody so be- 
 witching that even the blind and the lame 
 must get up and waltz, he does far more good 
 to mankind than either kings or trade unions^ 
 What do you say? Write a treatise on that, 
 young man!" 
 
 "Young, yes young!" said Holth with a 
 melancholy smile. 
 
 "Well, is it impossible for you to be more 
 than twenty in the presence of such girls?" 
 The general stroked his handsome beard, and
 
 50 Life 
 
 looked at the dancers with warmth in his gaze. 
 "In olden days a young girl had to sit stoop- 
 ing over embroidery, but look there. Those 
 girls aren't crooked and thin and ready to 
 faint with a little movement, are they? When 
 the next generation comes, born of such moth- 
 ers, we shall become a nation to conquer the 
 world. But listen! That's a new one !" And 
 the old beau was off in search of a partner. 
 
 "You're not dancing. May I have the hon- 
 our?" said Astrid Riis to Holth; and he swung 
 off with her to the softly swaying music, a 
 little uncertain in his time, but aided by her 
 once more. Her waist was so firm to his arm, 
 and her movements so sure; he felt the light 
 touch of her hair against his face, and her 
 breath upon his neck. Oh, how good it could 
 sometimes be to be alive! 
 
 Paul Tangen, the artist, was never more at 
 his ease than when dancing with a young 
 woman. His supple body seemed to turn to 
 music, and his face, with the brown beard 
 and thick fair hair, seemed to be dreaming 
 with closed eyes. And yet there was some- 
 thing tragic about those features, which could
 
 Life 51 
 
 not conceal their forty years, with marks of 
 toil and trouble, but with the blind joy of a 
 youth. 
 
 He was now dancing with Fru Ramm, and 
 said softly into her ear: "You wouldn't go 
 with me on ski." 
 
 A shadow crossed her face, which was half 
 turned up towards him, and her mouth hard- 
 ened a little. 
 
 "No," she said, gathering up her dress. "It 
 was my fault perhaps." 
 
 In a little while he whispered: "Two years 
 ago up here do you remember?" 
 
 She closed her eyes, and after a few rhyth- 
 mical movements, the answer came under her 
 breath: "No, I remember nothing." 
 
 A few minutes later, when she saw him 
 dancing with Fru Hiorth in the same man- 
 ner she rose, said good-night, and went to 
 bed. 
 
 Then the door opened, and the oldest mem- 
 ber of the family appeared, smiling, with her 
 stick in her hand. She was greeted with cries 
 of "Grandmother, grandmother! We thought 
 you were asleep.'*
 
 52 Life 
 
 "Oh, indeed! Do you think any one can 
 sleep in a house like this? Bui I should 
 rather like a dance myself." 
 
 The applause was great ; but when the gen- 
 eral came up and bowed to her, she refused. 
 "It would have to be Reidar, if I do," she 
 said, "for he knows how." Reidar, however, 
 had to put on his jacket before he was allowed 
 to present himself, for she was not accus- 
 tomed, she said, to dance with gentlemen 
 in undress. 
 
 They danced, of course, only a few turns, 
 and then the old lady had to be assisted to a 
 seat, whereupon she declared her intention of 
 remaining where she was and looking on until 
 it was all over. 
 
 The best part was still to come, when the 
 young people of the house began to dance, 
 folk-dances. Harald Bang climbed up with 
 a concertina on to a ladder that leant against; 
 $he wall, and Reidar led Inga out into the 
 middle of the great floor, while all the others 
 sat round the walls to look on. A new cul- 
 ture was played into their minds; the lan- 
 guishing waltz tones gave place to concertina
 
 Life 58 
 
 airs reminiscent of quiet valleys and far-off 
 times. 
 
 Reidar, strong and supple, was in a mo- 
 ment transformed from a gentleman to a peas- 
 ant, and with raising of shoulders and arms, 
 and flinging of legs, he led his sister by the 
 hand, in little jumps, round the floor. His 
 mill was burnt down, he had suffered great 
 loss, but no one knew it; in short, he was go- 
 ing to dance a "springdans." He flung the 
 young girl's hand over his head and then 
 again and again over hers, he crouched, he 
 stamped on the floor and cried: "Hey!" 
 Then there was a kind of private business be- 
 tween them, as they stamped round with 
 short steps, side by side and hand in hand*, 
 but at last it became too much for him, and 
 he seized her round the waist with both hands 
 and whirled her off, their bodies alternately 
 rising and falling. Her hair became unfas- 
 tened and flew out behind in a plait; and her 
 skirts filled the floor with wind. Hey! The 
 peasant lad released the girl, spat on his 
 hands, stamped on the floor and would not 
 hear of any interference. Hey! Now he
 
 54 Life 
 
 seized her again, whirling along, lifted her 
 from the floor in a high arch again and again, 
 released her, clapped his hands hey! and 
 whirled her off once more. 
 
 "That'll do, that'll do!" cried their mother. 
 "Inga will be quite out of breath. No more 
 nowl" 
 
 "Come and take the concertina, Reidar," 
 said Harald from the ladder, "and then we can 
 have a 'hailing.' ' For he, too, was desirous 
 of showing himself off upon the floor. 
 
 The general considered, however, that a 
 "hailing" upon a concertina was nothing 
 short of desecration, so he fetched his violin 
 and mounted the ladder himself. Harald 
 threw off his jersey, stepped out into the 
 middle of the floor, and was a peasant lad 
 from top to toe. He swung his arms and spat 
 on his hands, crying: "Does any one dare?'* 
 
 Reidar said he had danced so much he was 
 going to have a pipe. 
 
 "You must be quite tired out," said Astrid 
 Riis quietly. Reidar glanced carelessly at 
 her and calmly took out his pipe. How that 
 girl kept on at him with her little sarcastic
 
 Life 55 
 
 remarks. She was by no means the languish- 
 ing girl that he had thought her, with matri- 
 mony for her one aim. He really felt thai; 
 he would like to dance with her now. 
 
 "Where is my wife?" said Hiorth, going 
 round and peering with shortsighted eyes into 
 all the corners. But she was not in the 
 room, nor was Paul Tangen either. 
 
 "Well, if no one dares, that alters the case," 
 said Harald, spitting scornfully far over the 
 floor. What a country lad that Carl Johan 
 Street dandy had become. "Will nobody 
 venture?" 
 
 At this, Henrik Tangen quietly divested 
 himself of his coat and stepped out. He was 
 slim and elastic, but now tried to make 
 himself clumsy and broad. 
 
 The violin began a frolicsome, defiant "hall- 
 ing," and an involuntary tremor passed 
 through the assembled party, Even in these 
 town-dwellers, the rousing sounds of the fid- 
 dle conjured up thoughts of strong men, of 
 drinking, stabbing and blood. 
 
 The two in the middle of the floor stood for 
 a moment smiling at one another, but the
 
 56 Life 
 
 music soon transformed their faces, which 
 darkened with excitement. Their shoulders 
 and feet began to move, they advanced with 
 clenched fists, they retreated as if to gather 
 strength, but their eyes darted lightning, and 
 their mouths grew hard. The fiddle excited 
 and egged them on. Hey ! They I ^ked 
 askance at one another, but for a moment 
 their bodies expressed indifference. Pooh! 
 What was there to mind ! The fiddle laughed 
 and jeered, and their feet moved more rap- 
 idly and their elbows shook at their sides. 
 Harald spat upon the floor and said any one 
 who liked could take it up, and his rival 
 came up to ask what he meant by that. 
 Only that any one might come on; he was a 
 full-grown man! Their legs danced until 
 there was hardly room on the floor, and their 
 faces stood at storm. The spectators sat and 
 laughed, for Henrik Tangen was so entirely 
 the old-time peasant that he felt for his sheath- 
 knife at his back, and turned the quid in his 
 mouth. Their movements became wilder and 
 wilder, and the fiddle filled the room with 
 rage. Suddenly Harald sprang up on to a
 
 Life 57 
 
 bench and danced on there, and every one 
 fled before him. One almost expected in a 
 moment to see the gleam of a knife. Henrik 
 sprang up and almost kicked the roof, fell 
 back and lay outstretched for a moment, but 
 sprang up again like a spring, and danced sit- 
 ting upon his haunches. Then he swung 
 across the floor again, and Harald sprang 
 down from his bench and advanced towards 
 him as if he meant to clear the room. 
 
 "That'll do! That'll do!" cried Fru Bang. 
 "Harald! Do you hear! Leave off!" 
 
 The fiddle ceased, and the two young men 
 soon came to themselves, and in the middle 
 of the floor stood two men-about-town, smil- 
 ing and bowing to one another. 
 
 "Where is my wife?" asked Hiorth again; 
 and at the moment it sounded so comical that 
 there was a shout of laughter. 
 
 "I think she's gone up to bed," said Fru 
 Bang reassuringly. 
 
 When the music of the last waltz sounded 
 through the room, Reidar went up to Astrid 
 Riis and asked her for the dance. It was the 
 first time he had shown her a little attention;
 
 58 Life 
 
 but she declined, saying she was tired and 
 that besides she did not dance the same kind 
 of waltz as he did. 
 
 It Reidar reddened and turned to his sister-in- 
 law, who was sitting beside Astrid, saying: "I 
 beg your pardon. I made a mistake. It was 
 you, Ragna, I meant." 
 
 When he brought his sister-in-law back to 
 her place, he heard Astrid say clearly and 
 distinctly to Inga: "Oh, dear no! I could 
 never fall in love with a sportsman, for people 
 like that have much more muscle than brains." 
 
 Reidar pretended not to have heard, but 
 he had to wipe his forehead. 
 
 Paul Tangen was standing outside the 
 house, gazing at a solitary light far away on 
 the mountain. That must be a house, too, 
 where they were dancing. Suddenly silence 
 fell upon the room he had left; the piano was 
 moved and Fru Hiorth's clear voice was heard 
 singing. She sang a Fruhlingslied by Schu- 
 mann, and her voice sounded warm and tri- 
 umphant. 
 
 At about midnight the gong sounded once 
 more, as a signal for retiring to rest.
 
 Life 59 
 
 As soon as Reidar thought every one would 
 be asleep, he got up and dressed quietly. He 
 meant to go across the moor tonight, and down 
 to the station to send another telegram. 
 
 At last everything was quiet in the little 
 houses, and the moon was alone out there, 
 shining upon the blue-white snow and the dark 
 woods. The people inside slept the deep, 
 pleasant sleep that one sleeps when the limbs 
 are full of warm blood and respiration is quiet 
 and easy. Astrid Riis, however, was awake. 
 Her evening prayer had gradually become a 
 ;talk with her dead mother, and now she asked 
 her advice about Reidar. 
 
 His first glance had been stony. "What 
 shall I do with him? What would you have 
 done?" the young girl almost whispered, as she 
 lay with her hands behind her head, looking 
 towards the window. 
 
 Late that night a solitary ski-er glided 
 across the moonlit moor. The wind was icy 
 to his face, and his shadow sped along by his 
 side. While he was dancing the "springdans" 
 he had hit upon an idea for a grain transac- 
 tion that should make good his loss by the
 
 60 Life 
 
 burning of his mill, if only the telegram to 
 Chicago was in time. 
 
 In the morning, his limbs had hungered for 
 movement; now they had acquired the well- 
 controlled strength that could stand yet an- 
 other spell of exertion. And then there was 
 that conceited girl, who had treated him to 
 nothing but sarcasm. Well, wait a little! 
 
 He lighted his pipe and quickened his pace, 
 so that a trail of sparks followed him. Across 
 the desolate waste came the mournful sighing 
 of the wind. 
 
 There was great wonderment the next morn- 
 ing when Reidar was not to be found; but as 
 his dog was also gone, the general thought 
 he must have got up early to see whether there 
 were many hares in the neighbourhood. It 
 would be like him, and in the meantime they 
 must be satisfied with that and wait. 
 
 An expedition was made to the nearest 
 cairn, and in the bright sunshine, the scattered 
 company toiled up through wood and over 
 hill. Holth was among the last, and when at 
 length he reached the top, breathless and 
 warm, the others had already lighted a fire
 
 Life 61 
 
 and spread fL -branches over the snow to sit 
 upon. Skis were taken off, and as the fir- 
 covered space was limited, they had to sit close 
 together. As every one wanted to have the 
 sun in his or her face, it was a matter of course 
 that each leaned back against his or her neigh- 
 bour; so it became a group in which every lap 
 pillowed a head, while faces shone red against 
 the snow, and eyes half closed beneath the 
 warm rays of the sun. 
 
 Paul Tangen talked about starting a fund 
 for the extermination of engineers. "They 
 disfigure everything they touch," he said. 
 "Some day the whole of Norway will be noth- 
 ing but iron pipes and the smell of petrol. 
 Soon, too, we shall have floating hotels in the 
 air, which will empty their dust buckets upon 
 our heads when we believe we are surrounded 
 by nature. That's what's called progress. 
 No, a price should be put upon the heads of 
 engineers." 
 
 They laughed and stretched out their feet. 
 The fire was nice and warm, and shone yellow 
 against the white snow. One or two of the 
 ladies seemed to be dozing.
 
 62 Life 
 
 Harald Bang was standing leaning against 
 a tree-trunk, smiling at the sun and rubbing 
 his face with a handful of snow. He would 
 not trouble to answer the artist, being fully 
 occupied in becoming as sunburnt as possible 
 before once more appearing in Carl Johan 
 Street. 
 
 "Every one has his mission," said Captain 
 Ramm, as he lighted his pipe. 
 
 "Well, there's some sense in your calling," 
 said Paul Tangen. He was lying with his 
 head on Fru Ramm's lap. 
 
 "And what is it?" asked several voices. 
 
 "Beautiful bodies," answered the artist. 
 "Every autumn he receives a batch of deform- 
 ities, and in the following spring delivers them 
 up as Greek statues. That's an education 
 with some sense in it." 
 
 Holth had laid his head against Astrid Riis' 
 knee, and he could feel a little pulse beating 
 under the back of his neck. He looked out 
 over the immeasurable landscape spread out 
 under the sunny blue vault of heaven, and lay 
 breathing with such ease. But when this was 
 over? A desire came over him to stretch out
 
 Life 63 
 
 his hands and pray that these moments might 
 last and never come to an end. 
 
 A shout was heard a little way off, and a 
 ski-eT came in sight. It was Reidar, moving 
 as though a little tired. There was a general 
 rising, and inquiries, and he acknowledged 
 that they were right in supposing that he had 
 been looking for hares. Skis were put on 
 again amid laughter and jest, and one after 
 another the members of the party set off 
 through wood and down hill, while on the 
 mountain-top lay the last remains of the fire, 
 fir boughs and yellow orange-peel in the white 
 snow, as the voices died away among the hills.
 
 IT was late in May, and Astrid Riis sat over 
 her books at the tradesmen's in Stor Street 
 where her mornings were spent. It must be 
 nearly half past one, the sun was shining out- 
 side, and while she tried to add up a long col- 
 umn of figures, her thoughts were occupied 
 with the question of where she was to get cheap 
 fish for dinner. 
 
 At last the time came when she could shut 
 up the greasy books, put on her hat and hurry' 
 away. 
 
 A few minutes lafer she had two small cod 
 wrapped in paper, and as that was not the 
 thing to show one's self in Carl Johan Street 
 with, she hastened up through the town by 
 back streets. The dinner had to be on the 
 table by three punctually, so she had not a 
 minute to lose. She thought how nice her 
 friends would be looking in their spring cos- 
 tumes under the green trees. She herself had 
 to go on wearing her blue serge winter dress, 
 
 64
 
 Life 65 
 
 and when the weather grew warmer she would 
 have to wash her last year's light cotton frock 
 and iron it nicely. Today she had put on a 
 straw sailor hat, so as not to look too wintry. 
 
 She turned from a side street up by the 
 palace, whence came the sounds of a military 
 band, and she stopped for a glimpse of the 
 crowd that covered the hill. The sun shone 
 upon the instruments and uniforms, and here 
 and there a spring costume stood out boldly 
 against the dark background. Her friends, 
 male and female, would be promenading there, 
 she supposed. No matter, she must hasten on. 
 
 Though only twenty, this young girl had 
 much resting upon her shoulders. Before 
 leaving for her office, where she was due at 
 eight in the morning, she had to make break- 
 fast for her father, put three rooms in order, 
 and make purchases on the market. As she 
 now hurried homewards, she was considering 
 whether she could afford to have a few oranges 
 for a second course at dinner today, and at last 
 she decided to commit this extravagance. 
 After going into a shop, and receiving three 
 of the yellow fruit in a bag, she almost ran on,
 
 66 Life 
 
 for her father was not to be trifled with if the 
 meals came to table a minute after time. 
 
 As she stood in her cooking-apron and 
 rolled-up sleeves beside the kitchen fire, there 
 was a ring at the front door, and when she 
 opened it the postman put a couple of letters 
 into her hand. She listened anxiously at the 
 sitting-room door, but her father must be in 
 his room and had heard nothing. The letters 
 were to him, and she saw that they were those 
 everlasting bills of which her brother was the 
 cause; and she hastily crumpled them up and 
 threw them into the fire. 
 
 Captain Riis's fate was like that of so many 
 Norwegian officers. They begin their career 
 full of energy and dreams of getting on, but 
 perhaps they have no private means, and little 
 by little have to let some of the officer go, and 
 take up some civil employment as well. As 
 years go on they must find still more extra 
 employment, for there is a family to maintain ; 
 and they knock at doors and bow and humble 
 themselves, for it is all only temporary; they 
 think they will be promoted some day. A 
 captain reaches the age of forty and begins to
 
 Life 67 
 
 reckon up when his turn will come; and each 
 year the anxiety increases. He will soon be 
 forty-five, and it must happen now. He pulls 
 himself together on the drill-ground, and 
 trembles before those who have his fate in their 
 hand. Soon he is nearly fifty, but there is 
 still hope. Captain Riis was living in a West 
 Country town when, in the midst of his anx- 
 iety, he received a telegram from the general 
 in command to say that he had that day been 
 made lieutenant-colonel. He had enemies, 
 and his wife had been a sorrow to him, but now, 
 in all haste, he gathered his friends together 
 to make merry at his house. While speeches 
 were being made and healths drunk, another 
 telegram came to say that it was a mistake 
 about the promotion. The old officer nearly 
 had a stroke. An enemy must have been af 
 work between the two telegrams, and he soon 
 came to the conclusion that it must have been 
 General Bang. During the years that fol- 
 lowed, while he lived in expectation of redress, 
 he slept like a man in a fever. But he waited 
 in vain. One day he was forced to confess to 
 himself that he could never obtain redress ; and
 
 68 Life 
 
 from that time he had a difficulty in holding 
 himself as erect as before. 
 
 He pulled himself together once more, how- 
 ever. He had a son and a daughter, and 
 when he reached the age-limit, he moved, on 
 their account, into the capital. His son was to 
 be his redress. But his son led a dissolute life, 
 was expelled from the military academy, and 
 was also dismissed from a bank in which he 
 had afterwards obtained employment; and 
 now he had sunk lower, and his father refused 
 to see him again. It was hard, but the old 
 officer still tried to hold himself erect. He 
 still had his daughter, and it was a point of 
 honour with him to pay his son's debts. He 
 could scarcely live upon his pension, but his 
 daughter must help; he sold whatever could 
 be spared, and took a flat in a house in a back 
 yard; he limited himself to one pipe a day, 
 and tried to patch his own shoes. Only when 
 it grew dark did he take his long walks, with 
 his worn silk hat carefully brushed and his 
 old frock-coat buttoned up tightly; but his 
 glance had become so strangely glassy, and he
 
 Life 69 
 
 bowed to no one, and would not see if any one 
 bowed to him. 
 
 Today, too, Astrid was fortunate enough 
 to have the dinner on the table as the clock 
 struck three, and at the same moment the 
 sound of her father clearing his throat came 
 from the next room, the door opened and he 
 appeared, still broad-shouldered and erect. 
 His red, beardless face had a hard expression, 
 his grey hair was brushed forward in curls, 
 his faded uniform was unbuttoned, and his 
 trousers looked as if they had gone with a 
 frock-coat once upon a time. 
 
 "Pf-f !" he said, putting his finger down his 
 collar. 
 
 "Is it your asthma again, father?" 
 
 Without answering he seated himself on the 
 creaky sofa, and unfolded his napkin. There 
 was an ominous pause. 
 
 "Have you read it?" he asked at length. 
 
 "Read what?" 
 
 "The paper, of course. He's become a mem- 
 ber of a royal commission now again. He! 
 Ha, ha!" 
 
 She understood now. Every time he heard
 
 70 Life 
 
 anything about General Bang, it seemed as if 
 all his old wounds were opened afresh, and his 
 breathing became difficult that day. 
 
 In a little while he said: "I thought I heard 
 the bell ring. Was it bills again?" 
 
 "No," she said, bending over her plate. "It 
 was for me." 
 
 He was satisfied, and went on with his fish 
 for a short time, but then he raised his red eyes 
 to her once more. "And who do you get let- 
 ters from?" he said. "Is it the farmer-princess 
 you stayed with at Easter?" 
 
 The young girl laughed a merry laugh. Oh, 
 she had gradually become so accustomed to 
 dissimulate. "Do you suppose it's only girls 
 who write to me?" she said. 
 
 The little room served as both dining and 
 drawing-room, and the grey light that fell 
 from the back-yard on to the few remnants of 
 furniture in it would have been melancholy, 
 had it not been for two or three geraniums in 
 flower, standing in the window. 
 
 The old man suddenly laid down his knife 
 and fork, and leaning back in his seat, looked 
 at her hard.
 
 Life 71 
 
 "What's the matter, father?" He so often 
 looked at her like that. Did he suspect any- 
 thing? 
 
 "I was thinking in the night how fate can 
 be inherited. Even one's grandchildren will 
 look strangely at a grandfather who never 
 came to anything. The next generation ac- 
 cepts the facts, and asks no questions as to 
 the means by which it rose." And he bent his 
 head as if to look into his thought. 
 
 "You ought to go for a walk, father, now, 
 in the middle of the day. There's never so 
 much as a sunbeam gets in to you here." 
 
 "And who do you suppose has shut the sun 
 out from me?" 
 
 "Oh, it's no good always brooding over that, 
 father." 
 
 He laughed scornfully. "No, no, no! You 
 brood over more important things, don't you ?" 
 
 She turned her head towards the window, 
 as if seeking for something brighter to talk 
 about, but the old man went on. "However, 
 I've decided that the bomb shall now explode." 
 
 "The bomb?" 
 
 "Yes. As long as he was on the army lislE,
 
 72 Life 
 
 I was stupid enough to spare him; but now 
 now I can bear it no longer." 
 
 She felt a shiver run down her back. Here, 
 with her father, it seemed to her that it would 
 be a great day when at last he had his revenge ; 
 and yet her best friend was Inga Bang, and 
 they had been exceedingly kind to her at the 
 general's when she was their guest, and be- 
 sides no, that was all. 
 
 "What will you do?" 
 
 "Time will soon show." And he returned 
 once more to his dinner. 
 
 "Father," she said suddenly, trying to 
 brighten things up a little. "We're going to 
 be extravagant today. Can you guess ?" And 
 she went into the kitchen for two oranges. 
 The third must be kept for her brother, in 
 case he should steal in to get something to eat. 
 
 The surprise did really make the old man's 
 face brighter, and he peeled the yellow fruit 
 with great care. "Well, we must be content, 
 child, as long as we can have a second course 
 once a week." 
 
 "Oh, nonsense! Things will be better some 
 day, you'll see."
 
 I 
 
 Life 73 
 
 The captain laughed suddenly, showing' 
 stumps of yellow teeth. "Yes, of course ! Bet- 
 ter, yes! It'll end with cut glass and cham- 
 pagne, you'll see." But he again had a diffi- 
 culty in breathing, his face was distorted, and 
 he put his hand to his throat. The thought of 
 that other one had instantly extinguished this 
 gleam of humour. 
 
 While Astrid washed up in the kitchen, he 
 carefully filled his one daily pipe and lay down 
 on the sofa in his own room. The clouds of 
 tobacco-smoke floated about his head, but he 
 turned this way and that without rest. A 
 name, a memory, a painful thought may poison 
 the pillow and make it useless to close one's 
 eyes ; and this Captain Riis had felt more than 
 once during the years that were past. 
 
 Since he had shut himself up, his whole 
 world had become only a circle of recollections 
 about himself. It was like wandering in a 
 withered wood peopled by dead and living, and 
 all connected with Captain Riis. He fought 
 and lost, he was betrayed and wounded, over 
 and over again, every day, as surely as he
 
 74 Life 
 
 closed his eyes. Sometimes it was so rivid 
 that he spoke aloud and shook his fist. 
 
 But secretly he still had a little hope. He 
 was working upon a plan for a new army or- 
 ganisation, and when it was finished ah, then! 
 He had dim visions of redress on a grand 
 scale, and he remembered what had taken place 
 on such an occasion when he was serving for a 
 time in a French regiment. The general 
 called the happy man up in front of the regi- 
 ment, a speech, an order on his breast, the roll 
 of drums, present arms! Well, who could 
 tell ! In happy moments the event would seem 
 so near that he took out his least faded uni- 
 form and brushed it. 
 
 It was a comfort to let his thoughts run on 
 this now, and at last his eyelids drooped. 
 There was a sound of singing in the kitchen. 
 Ah me! Youth takes everything easily! 
 
 Astrid was scarcely aware of it herself, but 
 when her thoughts were busy with all manner 
 of things at once, she sang even in the street. 
 
 She bent over the fire, thinking of her 
 father's threat against the general. Would 
 anything really happen? She turned to the
 
 Life 79 
 
 window and remembered that there was a ten- 
 nis-party this evening, to which she could not 
 but look forward. The merry Easter party 
 had started a little sports club among them- 
 selves, and just now it was tennis. But every 
 time she and Reidar came together, they car- 
 ried on war. What should she use as a weapon 
 this evening? 
 
 There were footsteps on the stair, followed 
 by a gentle knocking, and her brother's fair 
 head appeared at the door. "Can I ?" he whis- 
 pered. "Yes, yes," she answered, "but be 
 careful." And she served up a meal for him, 
 not forgetting the last orange. 
 
 The young man seated himself jauntily upon 
 the kitchen dresser and swung his legs while 
 he ate. He was two or three and twenty, with 
 unshaven chin and bloodshot eyes, and shabby 
 clothes. She looked at him with eyes that were 
 almost motherly, but what was she to say? 
 
 : . , . - ** 
 
 He was her brother, and her father had to 
 suffer for his excesses. If was all very sad, 
 but there was no use in crying any more. 
 
 "Where have you been?" she asked in a low 
 voice. "Why, it's nearly a week "
 
 76 Life 
 
 "I'm working," he interrupted, munching 
 ravenously at his food. "Indeed, I've got my 
 hands full " 
 
 She made a grimace. "Oh, yes!" 
 
 "I'm studying the only idealists that are 
 still to be found, namely criminals. For that 
 matter, they oughtn't to be called that, for the 
 true criminals are such as him in there." 
 
 Astrid was used to these phrases, and she 
 tossed her head. 
 
 "Then you should let the idealists pay your 
 bills," she said. 
 
 "Oho!" he cried as he peeled his orange. 
 "Then you don't think that those who bring 
 us into the world without first asking leave 
 have any responsibilities " 
 
 "Now drink a cup of coffee, but be quick! 
 He'll soon be awake." 
 
 She put the steaming cup in his hand, and 
 when he had emptied it he went on: "Do you 
 know, I've been wondering how mother came 
 by her end !" 
 
 "You frighten me almost. Now you must 
 go." 
 
 "Very well then, good-bye," he said, as he
 
 Life 77 
 
 slipped off the dresser. "I'll go home to my 
 wife and children." 
 
 "What ?" she said, staring at him. 
 
 "Oh, well, we'll talk about that another 
 time. Good-bye !" 
 
 "Ivar," she said, pressing a two-krone piece 
 into his hand. "You must excuse its not be- 
 ing more." 
 
 "My dear girl, you're too good!" he said, 
 looking at her with a smile upon his thin face, 
 and Astrid went up to him, threw her arms 
 round his neck, and kissed him on the fore- 
 head. Then she pushed him gently out and 
 closed the door after him; but the tears were 
 in her eyes. 
 
 "I thought I heard some one in the kitchen," 
 said the captain, while they were drinking 
 coffee. "Yes, it was the man with the coals," 
 she answered, looking him calmly in the face. 
 
 Later in the afternoon, while she was wash- 
 ing and ironing, she began humming again. 
 She was going out this evening, and before her 
 mind's eye there passed pictures of a blue 
 spring sky, green trees, a setting sun, and 
 happy, healthy people playing.
 
 78 Life 
 
 As she sat at the supper-table, she was try- 
 ing to find an excuse for slipping away, when 
 her father leaned back and looked at her with 
 a mysterious smile. 
 
 "I've got something to read to you this eve- 
 ning, my dear." 
 
 "No, have you really?" 
 
 "Yes. This afternoon, you see, I got a good 
 way on with the section about the division of 
 $he Army. It'll make a nice disturbance in 
 the camp, I can tell you, for I've proved clear- 
 ly that all generals may really be done away 
 with." 
 
 "Couldn't you read it to me tomorrow, 
 father?" I was going to the dentist this eve- 
 ning." 
 
 His placid face instantly darkened, and his 
 hands began to tremble. "Oh, of course, of 
 course! If mademoiselle has anything more 
 important to attend to, I won't hinder her!" 
 And after supper he went into his own room 
 and slammed the door. 
 
 A little later, however, she slipped into his 
 room and said she could listen for half an hour 
 at any rate. He was pacing angrily up and
 
 Life 79 
 
 down the room, but now he grew calmer, found 
 his glasses, and took up a bundle of manu- 
 script. Astrid had her knitting and seated 
 herself by the window, and in his dry voice he 
 went into figures, calculations, technical ex- 
 pressions and arguments that were nothing 
 but Greek to her. She had so often had to 
 listen to it, and there was something touching 
 in the fact that he had no one else to ask ad- 
 vice from. But her thoughts stole away to the 
 tennis-party. What o'clock was it now? She 
 was tired with her day's work, and longed for 
 fresh air, motion and youth. 
 
 It had little by little come to be the rule for 
 her to purchase every pleasure with white lies. 
 At first it troubled her greatly, but after each 
 sunny hour she came home the brighter. 
 
 What o'clock was it now? The man who 
 sat reading had no idea that a young girl could 
 have a thought for anything outside her own 
 sphere. She was to keep his house, share his 
 poverty, earn money to pay his debts, hate his 
 enemies, and help him to do away with gen- 
 erals. She remembered her brother's words. 
 It was horrid of him, and yet Here she
 
 80 Life 
 
 sat herself, filled with bitterness. The others 
 were at the courts by this time, the sun was 
 setting behind the great garden, the evening 
 was passing. Tomorrow she would have to 
 begin again at the same round. Oh, she^ would 
 like to get up and fly far away to get air. 
 
 "What do you think of that?" she suddenly 
 heard. Her father was smiling, and took off 
 his glasses in order to see her better. 
 
 "If only it's not too severe," she said, with- 
 out knowing in the least what it was about. 
 
 "Too severe? As if you could be too hard 
 on that rabble! No, just listen to this!" 
 
 She sighed and stared straight before her. 
 She felt a peculiar coldness from this reading. 
 And yet he was her father, and she was chained 
 to him, and of course she was fond of him too. 
 
 When at last she was free, it was half -past 
 nine, and she hastened away to get at any rate 
 a glimpse of her friends before they went 
 home. 
 
 A bright, crimson-clouded sky arched in 
 houses and trees. A couple of white pigeons 
 flew past her so close that they almost touched 
 her face, putting her in such good spirits that
 
 Life 81 
 
 she once more began to hum. Oh, the delight- 
 ful feeling of a few minutes' freedom. There 
 was much to be sad about, it was true her 
 brother, his debts, her conscientious scruples 
 for deceiving her father ; but out here thoughts 
 of the mountains, ski-ing, dancing, blue sky, 
 and young men, flitted through her mind. It 
 was true that her hands were red with her 
 work, that she was not dressed as well as the 
 others, and that perhaps people knew both 
 about her father and her brother; and yet she 
 was now hastening to them like a moth to a 
 candle. 
 
 The tennis courts were fenced in with wire 
 netting and surrounded with trees. Reidar 
 Bang had come after the others, and there was 
 no one for him to play with. He was there- 
 fore sitting upon a bench with a cigar in his 
 mouth, watching the play. He was vexed at 
 the absence of Froken Riis this evening, for 
 he had prepared some particularly cutting sar- 
 casms for her, and felt in the mood for a tilt 
 with her. Oh, these self-willed little girls, who 
 imagine themselves somebody! 
 
 But there she was! As she entered the
 
 82 Life 
 
 ground and caught sight of him, she suddenly 
 stopped, looked at her hands, blushed, and 
 raised them to her hair. Finally she tossed her 
 head, and barely nodded in answer to his greet- 
 ing. "Now I can have a game, too!" he said 
 as he came up to her. "Oh, I'm no match for 
 you!" she answered dauntlessly, and opened 
 the box in which they kept their shoes. While 
 she was changing, he was going to look an- 
 other way, but discovered a hole in the heel of 
 her stocking, whereupon he turned away in 
 earnest and looked down. That hole in her 
 stocking, those red hands they all at once 
 gave him such a strange feeling. 
 
 "Well, I'm ready," she said behind him, 
 coming forward in her white canvas shoes, and 
 with her racquet in her hand. Now he wanted 
 to talk to her differently from the way he had 
 done before, and pointed to a little locket she 
 wore round her neck. "That little thing is 
 really pretty, Froken Riis. Did it belong to 
 to your mother?" 
 
 She looked down and involuntarily put her 
 hand up to the locket, as though to guard it 
 from his glance. Yes, it had been her mother's,
 
 Life 83 
 
 and perhaps there had been something wrong 
 with her; but why should he come with his 
 arrogant glance and want to touch it? Before 
 she quite knew what she did, she had torn the 
 locket from her neck, and put it in her pocket. 
 "Are we going to play, or are we not?" she 
 asked with flashing eyes. 
 
 "Oh, but really, Froken Riis, I never 
 
 meant " And he fcook off his hat in an 
 
 embarrassed way. 
 
 "Are we going to play or not?" she repeated 
 in a high voice, looking as if she meant to go. 
 
 "Yes, of course, of course! I'm quite 
 ready." 
 
 The ball began to fly between them. She 
 threw off her hat, and her golden hair shone 
 bright against green trees and blue sky. There 
 came cries and laughter from the other play- 
 ers, and soon she laughed, too, louder than 
 any of them. 
 
 "Take it!" She ran backwards and for- 
 wards, waves of hair fell down over her glow- 
 ing face and she was continually pushing them 
 back. She was delighted to find that he was 
 playing badly today, and she took him in
 
 84 Life 
 
 splendidly with little tricks; her whole body 
 reflected her triumph, her nostrils quivered 
 and her eyes shone. Were there really such 
 things as troubles in the world? She did not 
 know them, at any rate. 
 
 Dr. Holth sat outside the enclosure, looking 
 on. He was not a member of the club, and yet 
 there was something that drew him there every 
 evening. At first he thought there was some- 
 thing ridiculous about these grown-up people, 
 who ran hither and thither so excitedly occu- 
 pied with that ball; but now he sat and envied 
 them. It was as if the game made them chil- 
 dren of the air, the light and the green grass. 
 He looked at Fru Ramm, who was playing a 
 single with Paul Tangen, at Fru Hiorth and 
 Captain Ramm, Inga Bang and the young 
 architect. One smile escaped and met another, 
 and the ball flew like a dart between two play- 
 ers. And all the while it is nothing more than 
 that faces may glow, lungs inhale air, lips 
 smile, and thoughts take a refreshing bath as 
 they flutter like butterflies. 
 
 It was at Astrid Riis, however, that Holtli 
 looked most. She was now so warm that her
 
 Life 85 
 
 blouse clung fast to her back, and her head 
 with its golden hair darted hither and thither 
 like a red cloud. Then there were her well- 
 formed hips, her round waist, the gladness of 
 her voice; it all seemed to him to make up a 
 poem on eternal spring. 
 
 "Well, what are you sitting there for, and 
 only looking on?" said Paul Tangen, as he 
 passed, literally shining with perspiration. 
 
 "Outside is the best place for me," answered 
 Holth. 
 
 "Oh, well, of course the only intelligent 
 thing to do is to sit hanging one's head and 
 holding a skull in one's hand. Oh, dear, if 
 you could only forget your own greatness!" 
 
 Holth tried to smile, but felt hurt. 
 
 When Astrid had won her game with Rei- 
 dar, it was too late to play a return. They 
 saluted one another with their racquets, and 
 hastened to different corners to change their 
 shoes. Reidar meant to go home with the 
 young girl, but when he looked for her, the 
 bird was flown. 
 
 Astrid had hurried away, for she thought he 
 would want to give an explanation, and to
 
 86 Life 
 
 prevent this would vex him a little. She fled 
 homewards on rapid feet. Oh, yes, she had 
 indeed been at a dentist's. Even when she 
 got in she was so warm that she had to impro- 
 vise a shower-bath in the kitchen; and it was 
 a pleasure to stand naked on the cool floor, 
 and then rub with a coarse towel until her skin 
 was red and fresh. Then she blacked her 
 father's boots and put them in front of his 
 door, and finally crept into bed happy and 
 light-hearted. Tomorrow the round of work 
 would begin again, but now it all seemed fun.
 
 FEU HOLTH was laying the table for din- 
 ner. The tablecloth was not clean, the glasses 
 were chipped, and the children were making a 
 noise round her. Floor and chairs were cov- 
 ered with pieces of sewing and patching, chil- 
 dren's clothes and toys; but fortunately the 
 corner room was locked up and all in order, 
 with its palms and plush furniture, in case any 
 one should come. 
 
 Fru Holth had once been beautiful, but now 
 she was a worn-out housewife, with hollow 
 cheeks and a bad figure. She had also once 
 been fond of music and reading, but now she 
 contented herself with shopping. She looked 
 at the things in the large shops with a peculiar 
 feeling of happiness, and it was a pleasure to 
 her to handle laces and velvets ; but at the last 
 moment she hesitated and promised to come 
 again. 
 
 When she had married Jorgen Holth, every 
 one had predicted a brilliant future for him; 
 
 87
 
 88 Life 
 
 and in her own heart she had not given up the 
 hope of it yet. Every time she expected him 
 Home to dinner, she dreamt almost unwittingly 
 of some surprise a professorship, a head- 
 mastership, something or other delightful. 
 She would hear the key turn in the lock, and 
 would stand trembling a little, every day, year 
 after year. 
 
 Jorgen Holth was on his way home, a 
 sturdily-built man with books under his arm. 
 Since his Easter holiday, he had made a round 
 every day, so as to pass as many gardens as 
 possible. It was the middle of May, the apple- 
 trees were sprinkled with their pink and white 
 blossoms, and grass and foliage were green 
 and fresh. But when at last he had to turn 
 into the narrow street in which he lived, his 
 steps grew slow and spiritless. 
 
 As he mounted the stairs, he noticed the bad 
 air from the back-yard; and when he reached 
 the third storey and opened the hall-door, he 
 was met by the smell of washing, and ex- 
 claimed: "Goodness me, Selma, can't you 
 keep that kitchen door shut!" 
 
 Fru Holth had stood trembling a little, and
 
 Life 89 
 
 now quickly closed the door; and they were 
 soon all sitting round the table, while she 
 helped the soup. There were five children, 
 from Hans, who was thirteen, to the one-year- 
 old Sigrid, who sat on her mother's knee. The 
 children were not clean, and their mother still 
 wore a stained dressing-gown ; and Holth kept 
 his head down, and tried to think of something 
 else. 
 
 He had been so different since he had re- 
 turned, refreshed and rejuvenated, from his 
 Easter holiday. He dreaded going home every 
 day, and was glad when he could go out ; and 
 he was ashamed that it was so. These big chil- 
 dren, one of whom would soon be a man, re- 
 minded him that he himself was no longer 
 young. Formerly he had not noticed how un- 
 tidy and worn Selma was, and all the disorder 
 and closeness had not troubled him; but now 
 he felt an indefinable desire to hide it all, so 
 that none of those young women should come 
 to know anything about it. 
 
 He rose from the table. 
 
 "Oh, but you can't have had enough to eat 
 surely," she exclaimed; but he murmured
 
 90 Life 
 
 something about being busy, and went into 
 his study. It was a small room looking on to 
 the backyard, and for a moment he stood look- 
 ing out at the grey wall opposite the window; 
 then he sat down on the sofa, staring straight 
 before him. 
 
 In a drawer lay half -finished pieces of work, 
 by means of which he could have risen in the 
 world; but for years he had always hurried to 
 school from a sense of duty to his family, and 
 in the evenings taken extra work from a sense 
 of duty to his family, but never had he felt it 
 so hard as now. 
 
 Up on the mountains there had been young 
 men who had great plans, and they talked 
 about them as of some new sport. And there 
 had been young girls with slender waists, and 
 they danced and breathed out their encourage- 
 ment towards them. 
 
 Holth lay back on the sofa and closed his 
 eyes. "There were young people, too, when 
 you were twenty. Boys and girls set out for 
 the country on Sunday mornings, but you sat 
 at the window with your book. In the evening 
 they streamed back down the street, warm
 
 Life 91 
 
 and glowing, with bunches of foliage and lilac, 
 and you still sat at the window with your book. 
 And now? What do you live for, Jorgen 
 Holth? What have you attained? What are 
 your hopes for the future?" 
 
 He had accompanied Astrid Riis on her way 
 home from the tennis-ground yesterday, and 
 it was an event for him. They made a walk of 
 it in the light but cloudy evening. They sat 
 on a seat and under the trees in the palace 
 park, and watched the swans in the pond ; and 
 for the time he became a different being. He 
 was no longer the father of growing children, 
 or a machine for making political speeches 
 with the bitterness aroused by adversity; no, 
 he was twenty and the world was new. As he 
 talked he carried the young girl with him, 
 showering down upon her words and images, 
 born at the moment, like little airy poems. 
 And after that to come home and be dragged 
 back into himself! The air in the rooms, the 
 big children, the faded wife, his debts, his 
 troubles, his duties. The mirror showed him a 
 wrinkled face and hair turned grey, trousers 
 that bulged at the knees, and a coat that was
 
 92 Life 
 
 shiny at the elbows. He had prayed last night, 
 like the Proven9al poet: "Lord, preserve me 
 from becoming young when it is too late." 
 
 Suddenly Fru Holth appeared at the door, 
 and he sprang up as if he had been caught in 
 something wrong. 
 
 "You must really excuse me," she said, "but 
 I haven't a farthing left." 
 
 He stood struggling with a strange irrita- 
 tion. "But dear me, Selma, didn't you get 
 fifty krones the day before yesterday?" 
 
 "Yes, but there were bills owing both to the 
 baker and the butcher, and now Ragnhild must 
 have shoes, and Jens will soon have no trousers 
 to go to school in. Where do you think I'm 
 to get money from?" 
 
 "And where do you think I'm to get it 
 from?" 
 
 She stood rubbing her hands together, timid 
 and imploring. "I thought you had your sal- 
 ary paid you today." 
 
 "Oh, dear, yes, if that poor three hundred 
 krones is to be eaten up at once, there they 
 are." And he threw his pocket-book upon the 
 table.
 
 Life 93 
 
 Fru Holth sank upon a chair and sighed. 
 "I only wish," she said, "that you'd take over 
 the house yourself, Jorgen. I save and save 
 from morning till night, and go long distances 
 to get something a penny cheaper. I soon 
 shan't have a dress to my back, but all the 
 thanks I get is scolding and ill-temper every 
 single day." She passed her hand across her 
 eyes and added: "You've grown so strange 
 of late, both to me and the children. I'm at 
 my wits' end." 
 
 "How much do you need?" 
 
 "Oh, give me whatever you like." 
 
 He began to walk up and down, and said 
 more gently: "I do wonder whether any one 
 else in our position wastes as much money as 
 we do." 
 
 "Oh, you know very well, Jorgen, that it's 
 the same story all over the town. Every- 
 thing's getting dearer, but I think I manage 
 with less than most." 
 
 He stopped. "Well, I must have a hun- 
 dred for taxes now, if we don't want our goods 
 distrained. But there's the rest." 
 
 "No, no, you must have some yourself."
 
 94 Life 
 
 He pressed the money into her hand, how- 
 ever, but she kept putting some of it back into 
 his, saying that she did not want to be unrea- 
 sonable, and that he must not leave himself 
 without pocket-money. It ended in his put- 
 ting a ten-krone note into his waist-coat 
 pocket, thinking, with a sigh, of the new suit 
 of clothes he had dreamt about. 
 
 With another apology she slowly rose and 
 went quietly out. 
 
 There was no more room for dreams in here 
 now, for she had filled the little room with an 
 atmosphere of daily toil. Indeed ! She would 
 soon not have a dress to her back! 
 
 He walked up and down, and called to mind 
 the bailiff's pretty daughter, who fifteen years 
 ago had placed her future in his hands. She 
 even had a little money, which enabled him to 
 go abroad for a couple of years. But then? 
 He had not managed to make life particularly 
 easy for her, and what had he been busy with 
 of late? He hung his head like a boy that is 
 being scolded, then sank on to a chair, and 
 once more fell into a brown study. 
 
 Of course, Selma must have a dress. A
 
 Life 95 
 
 publisher had offered him proof-reading, but 
 he had refused it in the hope of stealing time 
 for that work in his table-drawer. But he 
 must let that lie for the present. He would 
 go up to the publisher today. Selma should 
 have a dress. 
 
 But when the decision was made, he still sat 
 with his chin in his hands, staring out at the 
 grey wall. 
 
 There was a knock at the door, which he 
 did not hear, and in walked Paul Tangen, in a 
 smart spring suit, and his light Panama hat in 
 his hand. 
 
 "Good morning, you troglodyte, that are 
 never seen! I've news for you." 
 
 Holth felt revived by this visit, and sprang 
 up from his chair exclaiming: "Sit down, sit 
 down! Glad to see you!" 
 
 The artist sat down, not forgetting to draw 
 his trousers up at the knees. "I say," he said, 
 "is it educational and of service to the com- 
 munity to sit in such an atmosphere?" 
 
 "It wouldn't be any better if I opened the 
 window. You see what a place I live in." 
 
 "Then why in the world do you live here?"
 
 96 Life 
 
 "Why in the world should one be poor and 
 powerless?" retorted Holth, beginning to walk 
 up and down. 
 
 "That's what I don't understand either," 
 said Tangen, taking out his cigarette-case. 
 "Of course, I've tried poverty too, but I didn't 
 find it worth keeping on with." 
 
 "You talk as if it were my own fault!" 
 
 "Whose fault do you make it then? Ah, 
 yes, by-the-by, you socialists of course have 
 the community and capital." 
 
 "Oh, it's all very well for you Jo talk 
 big- 
 
 "It's your own fault that you haven't a rea- 
 son for doing it, too. Honestly now, why 
 aren't you a famous man? Why do you go 
 about whimpering that you get nothing done? 
 Why do you live here ?" 
 
 Holth stood still with his hands in his 
 pockets, staring at his visitor. Tangen care- 
 fully lighted his cigarette. "Excuse my smok- 
 ing," he said, "but it'll freshen up the air a 
 little. And in short, it may be considered a 
 mark of genius to ship your oars and let every- 
 thing drift, but "
 
 Life 97 
 
 "And who's shipping their oars?" 
 
 "I don't think it shows a more profound in- 
 telligence to be ill than to be well, and I'm 
 old-fashioned enough to consider that it's even 
 better to triumph over adversity than to give 
 way to it. Which do you like best now scent 
 or stench? Which does your ambition require 
 admiration or pity?" 
 
 Holth sat down on the sofa, and gazed at 
 Tangen with a stiff smile. 
 
 The artist went on: "I think I perceive 
 that you don't like me today. However, I've 
 come to tell you that Reidar Bang is going to 
 have a big party out at his house, for he's lost 
 a lot of money lately." 
 
 "Lost? Is that something to give a party 
 for?" 
 
 "In my opinion, yes. I went out to Bygdo 
 to see him, and found him in a wretched state. 
 That strong man was drinking medicine out 
 of various bottles, and said he had had bad 
 
 % 
 
 dreams; and you know what that means for 
 him. He had a headache and was sleeping 
 badly; and in Hamburg there's a bankruptcy 
 that will make a clean sweep of a hundred
 
 98 Life 
 
 thousand krones. He had tried riding, sail- 
 ing, swimming, gymnastics and tennis, but 
 only got worse and worse. So I said he should 
 give a party." 
 
 "That was certainly good advice," said 
 Holth with an attempt at; a smile. He was 
 still sitting motionless, staring at Tangen. 
 
 "Yes, I told him a little story from my poor- 
 est period in Paris. A wealthy Mexican had 
 bought pictures from me for twenty thousand 
 krones, and for some nights my wife and I 
 could not sleep for sheer joy. Oh, all the 
 things we would buy and make ourselves fine 
 with, with those thousands which we had not 
 yet got, it is true. Then came the Mexican's 
 servant and announced the death of his mas- 
 ter. The money was not paid, the bargain 
 was off. We were stunned for a day or two, 
 but at last I got up, smashed the first thing 
 I came across, and swore I'd give a party. I 
 went out, borrowed or stole money, bought an 
 expensive velvet dress for the wife, and kept a 
 studio cancan going for a day or two, and wine 
 flowing. 'What for?' people asked. 'Because 
 our dreams are in ruins,' I said, and after that
 
 Life 99 
 
 I could look at myself in the glass again and 
 start afresh." 
 
 Holth shook his head. This took his breath 
 away. 
 
 "My view is," Tangen went on, as he flicked 
 the ash from his cigarette, "that one should 
 make one's self respected by fate. If it is too 
 interfering, you give it a kick and say: 'Keep 
 your distance, my friend. I intend to be the 
 master of us two.' Well, Reidar Bang also 
 thought this a good suggestion, and asked me 
 to help him to make the affair as splendid as 
 possible. You'll come, of course?" 
 
 "Have you come here to make fun of me?" 
 
 Tangen threw away his cigarette, and leaned 
 back in his chair. "I thought it would do you 
 a jolly lot of good to get another freshening- 
 up. We can't get on at all without some sur- 
 plus joy in life. Do you think any one can 
 become happy by sitting in such an atmosphere 
 and staring at that wall there?" 
 
 "Do you think any one can become happy 
 by neglectingjiis duty?" 
 
 Tangen laughed. "There isn't such a word 
 as duty in my dictionary. Whatever we don't
 
 100 Life 
 
 do for pleasure will be worthless; but the 
 pleasure comes if we give our life instincts a 
 little play. Honestly, you're too good to be a 
 slave to exercise-books and a few stupid cal- 
 culations." 
 
 Holth got up and answered quickly: "I've 
 been that for many years." And ashamed of 
 this confession, which seemed almost like 
 treachery towards Selma and the children, he 
 passed his hand across his eyes, and turned to 
 the door. 
 
 "Look here, my friend, I think I can see 
 what's the matter. Is your digestion all right?" 
 
 "Yes," said Holth, involuntarily turning 
 round. 
 
 "Then why aren't you happy?" 
 
 "Look here, Paul Tangen !" and Holth sat 
 down again "It's so confoundedly easy for 
 you to talk, who always come out on top." 
 
 "If you had a little feeling of responsibility 
 for your family," continued the painter, "you'd 
 gather together so much joie de vivre that 
 you'd be fit for anything." 
 
 Holth burst into a laugh. "Gather together 
 joie de vivre. Perhaps for the sake of my
 
 Life 101 
 
 family I ought to go in for dissipation and 
 other men's wives and daughters like " 
 
 "I understand you," said Tangen. "But 
 you shouldn't despise us who gather a little 
 honey from various flowers, so that our hearts 
 can have something to feed upon when the 
 winter comes. Confound it, is there any virtue 
 in being faithful to your wife when she has to 
 work herself to death?" 
 
 Holth's lips trembled. He was getting 
 angry. 
 
 "As for you and your unhappiness," said 
 the painter, "I would suggest that you 
 shouldn't begin by kicking fate. Begin, for 
 instance, by ordering a new suit." 
 
 Holth knew Tangen's way of treating his 
 friends, and at last he could not help laughing. 
 "I can't afford it," he said with a sigh. 
 
 Tangen put on his hat. "Has it never oc- 
 curred to you," he said, "that Dame Fortune 
 really exists, and that she doesn't care for men 
 with shiny coats and unshaven chins? Come 
 with me to my court tailor." 
 
 In the end, Holth actually went into town 
 with his friend, but only for the sake of the
 
 102 Life 
 
 walk. They went through the park under the 
 trees, and the artist said: "Haven't you no- 
 ticed that a rejuvenescence is just now passing 
 over Norway? The new generation is not 
 stupified with politics or literary hospital at- 
 mosphere. No, they dress well, go in for sport, 
 dancing and physical training. Out of the 
 joy of living comes action, and if you only 
 wait you'll see. So first the new suit, then 
 another flat, then some one to take your place 
 in the school while you finish your books, and 
 if you're not man enough for that, try and 
 fall in love with a pretty girl, and she'll put 
 life into you." 
 
 Before he knew what he was about, Holth 
 was standing with Tangen outside the tailor's 
 door, and without rightly understanding how 
 it came about, he found himself inside being 
 measured. It was folly, it was nonsense, and 
 yet it was done now. 
 
 When they came out again, Tangen said: 
 "Do you know, I believe Reidar Bang's suf- 
 fering from spring-fever, and I shouldn't won- 
 der if it wasn't on account of Astrid Riis. If
 
 Life 103 
 
 that stone were to take fire, he ought to begin 
 to take medicine in earnest." 
 
 After a brief pause, Holth answered: 
 "Well, he's young, and free, and well-off. It 
 would be a good match for her." 
 
 On his way home alone, he walked with bent 
 head. Yes, of course. Reidar Bang was 
 young. And free. 
 
 He would go to the merrymaking, however, 
 and try to forget his own years. Light dresses 
 against the blue water, bonfires along the 
 shore, music and dancing. Astrid Riis would 
 be there, too. 
 
 He wandered about for a long time in the 
 park. He sat upon the seat where they, too, 
 had sat yesterday. But at last he had to go 
 home. Exercise-books, examination prelim- 
 inaries, municipal elections, lectures, and the 
 literary work in his table-drawer. And then 
 there was the proof-reading and Selma's dress. 
 
 But when Fru Holth opened the door of his 
 study to tell him supper was ready, she stood 
 still with her eyes almost starting out of her 
 head ; for her husband was gliding round and 
 round, practising a waltz.
 
 VI 
 
 IT was by no means always that Paul Tan- 
 gen was in good spirits. When alone in his 
 studio, he would often lie for hours, on a couch, 
 plunged in deepest melancholy. He often felt 
 uncertain with regard to his art, and he had 
 enemies whose opinions would then flow in 
 upon him and overwhelm him. He was sick 
 with impatience at the time it took to become 
 world-renowned, as he thirsted to be, and he 
 would grow so weary of these continual strug- 
 gles to get further, that he felt tempted to give 
 it all up and return to ordinary life. 
 
 At such times, memories of his childhood 
 came to him like actual visions. He was mind- 
 ing the goats on the mountain, he was fishing 
 in the lake, he felt again his terror of thunder 
 and lightning because it might be the Day of 
 Judgment; but he also saw the evening array 
 itself in crimson and gold as a reminiscence of 
 paradise. It is true he was ragged and dirty 
 then, but on the other hand, it was holiday 
 
 104
 
 Life 105 
 
 when he washed. Christmas Eve, with the 
 glow from the stove and a clean shirt airing 
 over a chair-back, filled him with a far greater 
 solemnity than a whole town full of church 
 bells now. And then there were the girls 
 
 It helped a little every summer to strap a 
 knapsack on his back, and wander about at 
 haphazard through forest and mountain. He 
 would go from sseter to sseter, and seemed to 
 get very near to the old days when he joined 
 company with woodcutters, or sat down beside 
 a goatherd, or chopped wood and fetched 
 water for a dairymaid. But when he went on 
 again, something seemed to follow at his back 
 in the clouds and twilight. It was age, whis- 
 pering that what is past can never be recalled. 
 
 The golden light of summer was now 
 streaming through the skylight, and he sud- 
 denly started up as if awaking from sleep. 
 The door opened, and Fru Tangen entered, 
 dressed in a loose white dress, and holding a 
 little girl by the hand. 
 
 "May we come in?" she said with an anxious 
 smile. "I only wanted your opinion about my 
 dress."
 
 106 Life 
 
 She was a woman of about thirty, of medium 
 height, slender and dark. She had once been 
 prettier than she was now, but then it had cost 
 her many a struggle to be resigned and look as 
 if all was well. 
 
 Tangen looked critically at his wife's dress 
 without speaking. She had gradually become 
 quite dependent on his taste, and he designed 
 not only her dresses, but also her bracelets, 
 rings, brooches and pins, which were all little 
 works of art. 
 
 "The large fold over the left hip isn't right/' 
 he said, going up to her to rearrange it. "But 
 except for that it's all right." He put his arm 
 round her waist; there was something so fresh 
 and clean about her ; it was her hair, it was the 
 white dress, it was the warmth of summer in 
 her skin. He took her head between his hands 
 and kissed her lips and eyes. 
 
 "I really have the best wife in the world. 
 That's what I always say." 
 
 "Oh, yes, I'm sure you say so!" 
 
 He gave a little sigh and turned his eyes 
 away for a moment, but then looked into hers 
 again, smiling.
 
 Life 107 
 
 "I was just lying and thinking what would 
 have become of me if the chain hadn't been so 
 strong." 
 
 "Is it I that am the chain?" 
 
 "Yes. Everybody knows jthat I'm a hen- 
 pecked husband." 
 
 "Oh, you're very much to be pitied! Have 
 you been working hard today?" 
 
 "No; but then you haven't been in before." 
 
 "Oh, nonsense!" she said with a rougish 
 smile. "Come, Ragnhild," she went on to the 
 little girl who was occupied in looking at the 
 numerous pictures along the wall. "Come 
 now; we mustn't disturb father, you know." 
 
 Tangen took the little girl up in his arms 
 and carried her to her mother, kissing her on 
 the forehead as he did so. 
 
 "Shall we play blind-man's-buff today, 
 papa?" she asked. 
 
 "Yes, dear. Come up a little before dinner, 
 and you shall blindfold me again." 
 
 "Good-bye, then!" said her mother as she 
 disappeared with the little girl. 
 
 Tangen stood listening to their footsteps as 
 they died away, then stripped off his coat, put
 
 108 Life 
 
 on his painting blouse, and began to work. It 
 was always good to receive a visit from this 
 woman, who never uttered a word of reproach, 
 but accepted with gratitude what he gave. 
 Heigh-ho! 
 
 He now placed on his easel a half-finished 
 picture, which in fact was more a poem. Good- 
 ness knew whether anything would ever come 
 of it, but when he was in good spirits it was a 
 pleasure to him to stand and work at it. 'The 
 Procession' it was called, and he had really 
 got the idea from his brother. It happened 
 one day that the two brothers were wandering 
 through the town and imagining an entirely 
 new capital. They pulled down blocks, and 
 built up beautiful ones in their places; they 
 planned new streets, opened squares, and 
 erected monuments. Henrik Tangen had even 
 begun to make drawings of what they had 
 planned, and for a time worked at them night 
 and day like an inspired poet; and his work 
 was indeed a poem in buildings, colonnades, 
 fountains, gardens and parks. "It will scarce- 
 ly be in our time," he said; "but it will come 
 some day. Not in twenty years, scarcely in
 
 Life 109 
 
 forty; but it will come. In a hundred years, 
 Kristiania will be the Athens of Europe. See 
 here- 
 One day Paul too began to give life to some 
 of this dream-town. The picture showed a 
 temple standing on Ekeberg Hill, with a wide 
 flight of marble steps leading up to it. The 
 great building stood out against a blue sum- 
 mer sky, flecked with silvery clouds, and was 
 surrounded by fir, birch and bird-cherry trees. 
 Up the broad steps went a procession of young 
 women, their slender forms dimly outlined 
 through their flowing white robes, and with 
 sandals on their feet. Their faces were bright 
 and confident, and in one hand they bore 
 branches of apple-blossom, ripened by the sun 
 and the fresh breeze from the blue fjord. 
 
 It was this dream of women of the far-off 
 future that he was now endeavouring to bring 
 to life. There were none such now; no, but 
 there would be some day. They would be chil- 
 dren of their country's wind and sun; they 
 would be the embodiment of the poetry of the 
 mountains, the sea and the light nights. Per- 
 haps they would live in houses where there was
 
 110 Life 
 
 never an inharmonious sound, and where the 
 air was always pure. Perhaps they would live 
 in an age when only one thing would be pun- 
 ished as a sin, namely, bad taste. Perhaps 
 they would be priestesses of a new religion so 
 beautiful that no one now could have any con- 
 ception of it. Where were they going? To 
 sacrifice. To whom? To the God they wor- 
 ship Light perhaps. Were they singing now, 
 or were they going to sing when they came up? 
 Song was already in their eyes, smile, and the 
 movement of their limbs; and the pink and 
 white apple-blossom in their hands was wet 
 with dew. 
 
 It was a colour-poem on young forms, but 
 gradually the artist's own recollections were 
 mingled with it, and he often stood back from 
 it with a smile. Yes, he ought to know these 
 faces as they came more and more to life. Yes, 
 of course ; they were they were women he had 
 -known in years past. 
 
 So they wanted to join this procession, did 
 they? Very well, though many of them were 
 no longer either pretty or young. "Is that
 
 Life 111 
 
 you?" he would say with a smile. "And you, 
 too? But don't you know you're dead?" 
 
 He was just standing with his palette in one 
 hand, and lighting a cigarette when there was 
 a tap at the door, and in a vexed tone he called 
 /'Come in." 
 
 The door opened and General Bang entered, 
 in overcoat and silk hat. 
 
 "Good morning, monsieur!" he said, a little 
 out of breath. Once inside the door, the old 
 gentleman stood with his hat in one hand and 
 his stick in the other, looking about him. Tan- 
 gen wiped his hands and went forward to wel- 
 come him, but the general still stood examin- 
 ing the room from floor to ceiling. 
 
 "Is this a studio?" 
 
 "That's what it's supposed to be. Have you 
 never ?" 
 
 "No, sir. It's the first time I ever entered a 
 temple of art. Indeed! And that is that 
 art? What a number! I thought you sold 
 most of your works. Oh, but see here!" and 
 he took up a position in front of the easel, and 
 took out his glasses. For some time he stood 
 looking at it in silence, and at last exclaimed:
 
 112 Life 
 
 "Confoundedly pretty models you get! What 
 does your wife say to it?" 
 
 "Oh, of course my wife is the model for all 
 of them," said Tangen carelessly, with a smile. 
 
 "So I should think, sir! Oh, yes! So 1 
 should think!" He looked at the picture 
 again, and then turned to the artist. "Have 
 you been successful with the fair sex?" 
 
 "Unfortunately, no. It's only the older 
 beaux who understand the art." 
 
 "Oh, but they don't understand it either, not 
 all of them, at least," said the general, looking 
 away to the window. "One will do all he can 
 with no result, while another is occupied with 
 altogether different things and can have any 
 number. Success and failure they're things 
 one can never understand." 
 
 Tangen drew up an armchair, and the gen- 
 eral looked first at him and then at the chair, 
 and finally said: "Well, I may as well sit 
 down, for I've come to speak to you on a very 
 important matter, or rather to call you to 
 account." He seated himself, placed his hat 
 upon the table and supported both hands upon 
 his stick. Tangen felt a little uneasy, but for
 
 Life 113 
 
 the moment he was not aware of any wrong- 
 doing that concerned this man. 
 
 "You have a nice brother, sir," began the 
 general, looking sharply at the artist. "Well 
 no one can hear us here, I suppose." 
 
 "Oh, dear, no!" 
 
 "What do you say yourself about your 
 brother?" 
 
 "He has just one fault. He's so much 
 greater a man than I." 
 
 "Thanks. But let me tell you that both you 
 and your brother are rogues. What do you 
 say to that?" 
 
 "You are always right, sir." And Tangen 
 offered him a cigar. 
 
 "No, thank you. Keep your cigars to 
 yourself, and don't put me off with atten- 
 tions. I come to you because you introduced 
 your brother into my house, and you must be 
 responsible for what he does." 
 
 "I only wish I had no worse responsibil- 
 ity." 
 
 "There now! You think it's nothing if he 
 turns my daughter's head so that she neither
 
 114 Life 
 
 sleeps nor eats, and goes about talking non- 
 sense about meaning to marry him!" 
 "Doesn't he want to marry her then?" 
 The general jumped up. "Wants to! Did 
 you ask whether he wants to marry my my 
 daughter?" 
 
 Tangen looked at the general and smiled. 
 There was a pause. 
 
 "Why don't you say something?" 
 "To tell the truth, my brother is such a 
 rising man that there'll be a rush for him 
 among the girls ; but I think he might be con- 
 tent with a single one your daughter, for 
 instance." 
 
 The old man stamped on the floor, and 
 seemed inclined to move up and down, but 
 he stood still. 
 
 "Be content, eh? With my daughter, eh? 
 Well, I don't; want to offend you, but 
 
 your brother " 
 
 "Well, my brother has been a carpenter." 
 "Carpenter well, well, it wasn't really 
 
 that, but And the general looked ques- 
 
 tioningly at the other and compressed his 
 lips.
 
 Life 115 
 
 "It comes in very handy now that he's an 
 architect." 
 
 "Architect! May I ask which houses he's 
 built?" 
 
 "Supposing I were to ask what battles 
 you have fought in, sir?" 
 
 The general's face flushed, and he turned 
 as if to go, but stopped again. "Let me tell 
 you," he said, "that that your brother must 
 leave my daughter alone! The fact is I've 
 thought of some one else for her." 
 
 "In four or five years, every one will be 
 saying that she's made a good match." 
 
 The general threw out his hand and began 
 to walk up and down. Tangen stood still, 
 apparently occupied with his picture. There 
 was a fresh pause, while the old man paced 
 up and down. At last he said: "I say, 
 young man, were you really a peasant lad?" 
 He was no longer quite so angry. 
 
 Tangen looked at him and smiled, but 
 made no answer. 
 
 "And your brother is he really " 
 
 "Oh, it's very possible that my brother's 
 better connected."
 
 116 Life 
 
 "Ha, ha, ha! You're not bad at answer- 
 ing! But let me tell you that I've had an 
 idea for a long time that your brother was 
 up to something with my daughter, and I'd 
 have shown him the door long ago, if if I 
 well, confound it, I I when all's said 
 and done, I like him." 
 
 "You're always right, sir." 
 
 "And the confounded part of it is that he's 
 not only turned my daughter's head, but my 
 wife's too, so that there's no peace for me at 
 home now. It's quite preposterous!" 
 
 "May I not now offer my brother's father- 
 in-law a cigar?" 
 
 "Yes, I may just as well take it at once, 
 for I suppose the battle's lost anyhow." 
 
 "And perhaps a glass of cold white wine 
 this hot day?" 
 
 "Wine! No, thank you, you'll not get me 
 as far as that. I came here to drive you 
 into a corner, and now I'm going. Good- 
 by!" And he took up his hat and stick, and 
 drew on one glove. 
 
 "I've got some Johannisberger from 1850." 
 
 The general pretended not to hear, but
 
 Life 117 
 
 murmured "Goodby" again and prepared to 
 go. At the door, however, he turned. "What 
 did you say that wine was?" 
 
 "We'll see in a moment," said the artist, 
 going to the bell and ringing. 
 
 "You're a confounded rogue!" sighed the 
 general, coming slowly back. 
 
 A little later they were sitting with the tall 
 bottle of white wine in ice beside them, while 
 they smoked and toasted one another. No 
 one could be more genial than the old officer 
 when he liked. Suddenly he leaned back and 
 looked at his companion. 
 
 "I say," he said, "what's the matter with 
 my son Reidar? Have you noticed how dif- 
 ferent he is?" 
 
 "It's the spring, sir. It's a dangerous time 
 for young people." 
 
 "La femme?" 
 
 "Do you think, sir, that a man of any ini-^N 
 portance ever goes through a spring without / 
 being in love?" 
 
 The general stretched out his legs and 
 laughed. "It's those confounded Easter par- 
 ties, that's what it is. So many engagements
 
 118 Life 
 
 have come about up on the mountains, that 
 I'm thinking of pulling down the houses. 
 What was I going to say? Oh, yes. Do 
 you know anything about Froken Riis?" 
 
 "She's a fine girl, and pretty, too. But 
 they say she's got an unhappy home." 
 
 The general's face reddened with the wine, 
 and he dropped his eyes. The sun had passed 
 away from the skylight, and the large room 
 was filled with a bluish light. 
 
 "Her father, Captain Riis, was a comrade 
 of mine. There now, he was another man 
 who cut a dash and set to work to get on, 
 but well, there luck comes in again. It 
 was never any use, and at last he got swelled 
 head, and was venomous, too, and he is that 
 still." 
 
 "They say his wife was beautiful," said 
 Tangen innocently, as he lighted a fresh 
 cigar. 
 
 The general looked at him sharply, and 
 then emptied his glass. "Yes," he said, 
 "there's no doubt she was good-looking. 
 Good morning, sir." And he rose, took up
 
 Life 119 
 
 his hat, and walked a little stiffly towards the 
 door. 
 
 "We shall meet at Reidar's at his Midsum- 
 mer Eve party, I suppose? It's put off un- 
 til then, isn't it? And of course you're help- 
 ing him to put a little style into it." 
 
 "It's nice that you're to be one of the party, 
 sir." 
 
 "Be one of the party. You may take your 
 oath that where there are young people I'm 
 one of the party." And he waved his hat 
 and went out backwards. But the next mo- 
 ment he appeared in the doorway again, as 
 if he had forgotten something. 
 
 "By-the-by, have you ever noticed that a 
 young girl can be so exactly the image of her 
 mother that that you feel yourself taken 
 back twenty years? You're right about Fro- 
 ken Riis being a pretty girl." And he nod- 
 ded and disappeared once more. Tangen 
 went downstairs with him. 
 
 He had scarcely settled to work again, 
 when there was a loud knock at the door, and 
 Henrik entered with a cigar in his mouth 
 and his straw hat on the back of his head.
 
 120 Life 
 
 "Bonjour, Monsieur!" he said gaily. The 
 artist, in a trice, turned his picture round, 
 for he would not have his brother see it for 
 the world. 
 
 "Sit down, man, and don't look herej" 
 
 "What in the world " 
 
 "Sit down, and quickly, too, and don't 
 move !" 
 
 "Goodness me, do you think I'm so keen to 
 see what you're daubing at!" And the 
 younger man threw himself on to a couch. 
 
 "I can tell you I've had my work cut out 
 just now to save you from bolts and bars," 
 said the elder brother with a serious face. 
 
 "I can quite believe it." 
 
 "There have been two constables here 
 with the girl's father, wanting to know where 
 you're to be found. The father was green 
 and yellow with rage. What in the devil's 
 name have you done with the girl?" 
 
 Henrik removed the cigar from his mouth 
 and slowly rose. "I say, Paul, what's all this 
 about?" 
 
 "What's it all about? Don't you know 
 that there's the house of correction for a
 
 121 
 
 carpenter who makes love to a general's 
 daughter?" 
 
 At this the younger man burst into a laugh 
 of relief, and threw himself back on the couch 
 again. "Are you sitting and drinking in the 
 very middle of the morning?" he said. 
 
 "I've had to fetch out the first bottle of 
 wine for your wedding. Perhaps there's a 
 little left. Your health!" 
 
 The younger brother still regarded the el- 
 der with reverence, and when Paul talked 
 about women, Henrik became quite bashful. 
 
 He now emptied his glass, and said with a 
 smile: "Do you remember, Paul, when you 
 brought me in from the country, and when 
 at first I slept on the floor of your room?" 
 
 "And when we took a pair of trousers on 
 tick in one shop, and pawned them in another 
 to get money for our supper?" 
 
 "Yes. How different it is now!" 
 
 "What are you doing now, boy? I never 
 see you," said Paul, trying to look severe. 
 
 "Doing? I go about intoxicating myself 
 with scenery and people; that's what I'm do- 
 ing. When you've been away for five years,
 
 122 Life 
 
 you feel famished for your own country. 
 Last night I slept under a tree in Nordmark, 
 this morning I breakfasted with a workman 
 at Grorud, and today I'm going to dine at 
 the general's. How beautiful it all is, isn't 
 it? The people, the wooded hills round the 
 town, the fjord, the islands, the ships that 
 come and go, but most beautiful of all the 
 women. I met the young wife of a workman 
 on a path up in Nordmark, and I emptied 
 my purse and told her she should have it all 
 because she was so pretty, and because she 
 met me just there. She blushed and looked 
 prettier still, and went on with her eyes on 
 the ground. Do you know what it means to 
 live? It's something of that sort. Can you 
 conceive that anybody can be unhappy?" 
 "Be quiet, boy ! You're in love, of course !" 
 The other leaned back and looked straight 
 before him. 
 
 "Then every now and then I came upon a 
 white house among the green trees, and I was 
 so glad every time; for oh, those beaver-huts 
 in dragon-style, and with boils on all sides 
 shocking! Isn't it strange that only when a
 
 Life 123 
 
 human habitation resembles a leper do our 
 prophets become enthusiastic and call it na- 
 tional. No, no, we must have an architec- 
 tural style that is born of our scenery of the 
 curves of the mountains and hills, the majesty 
 of the trees, the strength of the men, the easy 
 carriage of the women. But wait! It will 
 come some day, and it will trickle out over 
 the world like a rejuvenating flood. Wait, 
 wait!" 
 
 "Be quiet, boy! You're in love!" 
 
 "Well, you can't see that in our architec- 
 ture, anyhow that its masters have been in 
 love." 
 
 "And what's your news?" 
 
 Henrik got up and swung round on the 
 floor. I've taken a place in an architect's of- 
 fice in the meantime at two hundred krones 
 a month." 
 
 "And that's what you're going to marry 
 upon?" 
 
 "Of course. And if her rich relations are 
 afraid that we shall be a burden to them, 
 they're very much mistaken. We've agreed 
 only to spend what we earn ourselves."
 
 124 Life 
 
 It sounded very well, but Paul thought with 
 anxiety how this enthusiastic young man 
 might become a slave to his work in order to 
 earn money for his family. 
 
 "But what's that I see?" exclaimed Hen- 
 rik. "Have you begun to model?" And he 
 gazed into the background of the studio, 
 where there stood a bust swathed in a wet 
 sheet. 
 
 Paul coloured as if his brother had sur- 
 prised him in a ridiculous weakness; and a 
 brother is the last person to whom that is 
 allowed. 
 
 "Let it alone!" he said, emptying the last 
 of the wine into the glasses. "But don't you 
 ever feel a desire for other forms of art? 
 I should like to combine painting, music and 
 sculpture in a single work." 
 
 "Why, that's just what architecture does! 
 It's the human mind in stone philosophy 
 and astronomy, poetry and music, colour and 
 line. There's really no need of any other 
 art." 
 
 "Be quiet! You're in love!" said the 
 painter, raising his glass.
 
 Life 125 
 
 They sat for some time talking, and at last 
 Henrik stretched himself full length on the 
 couch. "I don't think I slept much last 
 night; the blossoming bird-cherry I lay and 
 looked up into was so much too beautiful." 
 
 Paul got up and began doing a little here 
 and there in the studio; and when, after a 
 little, he looked at his brother, the young 
 man with the pale face lay with his chin in 
 the air asleep. 
 
 Paul stood looking at him with a peculiar 
 smile. How would things go with him, and 
 how long would his soul keep as fresh and 
 fiery as it now was? 
 
 He found a rug, which he spread with ma- 
 ternal care over his brother, and then went 
 quietly out, leaving him to sleep undisturbed.
 
 VII 
 
 EVERY time Astrid Riis had been one of 
 the merry party at the general's, she seemed 
 to bring home a quantity of sunshine. It was 
 true she was wrong to deceive her father as 
 she did, but it was a comfort that there was 
 at any rate one member of the general's fam- 
 ily whom she could not bear, namely Reidar. 
 Every time she was able to show him cold- 
 ness, or say something cutting to him, she 
 felt her conscience lightened. Thank good- 
 ness, she had not quite gone over to the enemy 
 yet! 
 
 All at once, however, the young merchant 
 altered his behaviour toward her, and became 
 polite and attentive. Astrid felt it was a 
 triumph. She would manage to humble the 
 proud man still morel And yet at the same 
 time she was a little afraid. How was this 
 going to end? 
 
 Her father was ailing for a few days, and 
 
 she had to stay at home; and now it seemed 
 
 I2e
 
 Life 127 
 
 as if not only her father's complaints, buf 
 every little thing in the house acted upon her 
 and called her back into her old ways. The 
 atmosphere was heavy indoors, the sun did 
 not shine in until the evening, and only a 
 glimpse of the sky was to be seen above the 
 housetops, but the flowers in the window 
 seemed so neglected that it became a pleasure 
 to her to be there and tend them again, and 
 even the copper kettle in the kitchen seemed 
 to ask her where she had been. "Have you 
 betrayed your father, yourself and us?" And 
 when she had to go in to the old man, it was 
 with bowed head. 
 
 "I won't do it again," she said to herself. 
 "If father were to die now, I should never 
 have another happy day." 
 
 So she stayed at home, and the copper ket- 
 tle grew brighter, the window-plants more 
 vigorous, and her father in better spirits, be- 
 cause she took such a lively interest in his 
 great plans for army organisation; but she 
 herself began to pass sleepless nights, and 
 it was hard to get up in the morning, and
 
 128 Life 
 
 the day seemed so unspeakably grey and 
 long. 
 
 There awoke in her young body a kind of 
 hunger for blue sky and happy motion; and 
 when she left her office, and took a road past 
 as many gardens and groups of trees as pos- 
 sible, and then had to hurry home, it was like 
 going into a prison. It was not only that 
 her home was poor, sunless and confined, but 
 its range of ideas was nothing but plans of 
 revenge and pain; and she often felt it so 
 clammy and uninviting that she wanted to 
 shake it off. 
 
 Her brother came now and then by the 
 back stairs to get something to eat, and 
 while he as usual spoke evil of the old man, 
 Astrid sat quietly listening. She shook her 
 head, it is true, but each time she shook it 
 a little less; for she had to confess to herself 
 that General Bang was certainly not a mon- 
 ster. It was inconceivable that he could 
 have wanted to crush any one. Was her 
 father mistaken, or ? 
 
 But once more she shook it off. It was too 
 bad of her to think such things of her father.
 
 Life 129 
 
 An invitation came for her to Reidar 
 Bang's Midsummer Eve party, and she de- 
 clined it. But she was obliged to have a sum- 
 mer dress, and in order to be able to afford 
 it, she dismissed the woman who had done 
 the heaviest part of the cleaning for her, and 
 washed floors and stairs herself; and she was 
 often thoroughly tired out when she went to 
 bed. Her hands gfre_w rough and her arms 
 red; and when she looked in the glass, she 
 thought there were rings under her eyes. 
 
 More of her brother's bills had come to 
 the house, and after a couple of sleepless 
 nights, the captain decided to go out and 
 look for some sort of work. It was no road 
 to glory he trod; he was old and would be 
 rejected, but he went. He knocked at sev- 
 eral doors, and tried to hold himself erect as 
 he went to the next, and at last was given 
 some map-work for a firm of engineers. 
 Then one day he stood with his glasses half- 
 way down his nose, trying to draw. It went 
 well for a time, but soon his eyes failed him, 
 and his hand was no longer steady. But 
 it must be done.
 
 130 Life 
 
 One day he read that General Bang had 
 received a Russian order. That man was 
 always rising in the favour of the Fates, while 
 he himself always fell. And what about the 
 bomb he had so long been threatened with? 
 
 He did not find it easier to sleep after this. 
 Up on the heights his enemy holds high fes- 
 tival in the golden halls. What victories have 
 you won, general? Oh, I crushed a fellow 
 officer. Well done! Here is an order. And 
 where is Captain Riis? He is in chains in 
 the cellar, and his children well. And the 
 captain turned in bed, and looked out into 
 the darkness, and raved. 
 
 Finally he rose one day with unusual en- 
 ergy, and with compressed lips began to turn 
 over some papers; but when the little packet 
 of yellow documents lay upon the writing- 
 table before him, they seemed to have shrunk 
 into something that would not bear the light 
 of day. As long as they lay in the drawer, 
 they had seemed to him a bomb, but now! 
 
 And yet he brushed his faded frock-coat, 
 Smoothed his worn silk hat, and walked with 
 fixed gaze and eager steps down town to the
 
 Life 131 
 
 office of his belowed "Morning Paper." He 
 felt it like a visit to a doctor about suffering 
 that had gone on for years and could no 
 longer be borne. 
 
 An hour later he came up again, with 
 heavy steps and taking side streets. The 
 editor had refused him; the subject was too 
 old and doubtful, and was no longer of in- 
 terest. 
 
 Out in the streets the life was gay and the 
 sun shone, and people laughed and ran on, 
 and everything seemed to taunt him with the 
 words: "Do you think the world has noth- 
 ing to do but listen to your nonsense?" Cap- 
 tain Riis compressed his lips and walked on, 
 trying to hold himself erect. The worst of it 
 was that he felt an enemy within himself. It 
 was a feeling of shame. Every one could see 
 that he was a hero who had wanted to de- 
 nounce a fellow-officer, but had been refused. 
 
 When Astrid came home, she found her 
 father in bed, and for the next few days his 
 temper was trying. What he ate and drank 
 tasted ill, his bed was badly made, the room 
 was too dark or it was too light, Astrid was
 
 132 Life 
 
 in his room too much, but as soon as she left 
 it he rang the bell again. 
 
 One day, on her way home from the office, 
 she met Dr. Holth. 
 
 "Why, this is really a discovery!" he ex- 
 claimed. "Where have you been all this time, 
 Froken Riis?" 
 
 She really enjoyed walking with him, not 
 only because it recalled the merry Easter 
 party, but because he talked in just as inter- 
 esting a way now as when he taught art- 
 history and Norwegian at her school. She 
 had raved about him then, and he was still 
 surrounded by a kind of halo of all the beau- 
 tiful ideas he had put before his pupils. 
 
 They went up the palace hill under the 
 green trees, and though she ought to have 
 hurried, they walked slowly. 
 
 "Do you know, Froken Riis, that no town 
 is more beautiful than our beloved capital 
 just now? It's not the building, oh, dear 
 no! Nor the hills, nor the fjord, nor the long 
 evenings. No, it's the young girls. When 
 they come out of the offices and shops at 
 dinner-time, and stream up through the
 
 Life 133 
 
 town, they are like perpetual summer. Their 
 faces have felt the first breath of the sun, 
 their eyes are full of expectation of an expe- 
 dition or a meeting, and they set off, so sim- 
 ply dressed, but glowing with health and 
 good spirits. Isn't it strange that I see it 
 this year for the first time? If only I were 
 a poet and could write a hymn to the young 
 Norwegian girl ! But here I am walking with 
 one of them, and though life is full of misery, 
 your being here and looking at me a little 
 and listening to me compensates for a good 
 deal." 
 
 She blushed and smiled. "Why, it's much 
 more fun for me to walk with and listen to 
 you!" 
 
 "Really? Then we can walk up together 
 another time." 
 
 And now she was joined by Dr. Holth on 
 her way home nearly every day. She did not 
 consider much whether it was chance or not, 
 but to listen to him was like taking journeys 
 into distant regions. His voice was feeling, 
 his words so earnest. It was now the only 
 diversion in her long day, and when she
 
 134 Life 
 
 parted from him, it was to go into a dismal 
 backyard flat, where poverty and tribulation 
 sat waiting on every chair. 
 
 Her father was up again, now standing 
 for a moment at his drawing-table, and the 
 next being struck with a good idea for his 
 army-organisation plan, and going to another 
 table to make a note of it. The first was 
 duty work, the second the little spark of hope 
 that still kept him up. Oh, there was still a 
 slight possibility of redress; the thing was to 
 hold out. 
 
 Astrid came in from her conversation with 
 Holth in such good spirits that she herself 
 suggested that her father should read aloud 
 to her again. He read for hours, and she 
 sat and listened with a strange far-away look 
 in her eyes, but always impatient to hear 
 more. She had so much to make up to him. 
 
 Holth lent her an illustrated history of art, 
 and she lay and read it at night in bed. Again 
 it was like travelling in regions where every- 
 thing was brighter and richer than here. 
 Some of it she did not understand, and she
 
 Life 135 
 
 looked forward to her next meeting with 
 Holth, when she could ask him about it. 
 
 But many of the pictures resembled Reidar 
 Bang. She found him as a condottiere on 
 horseback; he was a Greek statue, the Roman 
 Csesar; and at last she threw down the book 
 in vexation. She began to think more than 
 ever of her mother. Why did her father men- 
 tion her so seldom? There must have been 
 something wrong about her, too. In her 
 room there hung a faded photograph of a 
 young woman in a white dress and with a 
 bright smile. That was what she was like. 
 What had the days been like for her, and why 
 did she die so early? Had she, too, had a 
 sunless home to toil in? Was she, too, chained 
 to some one who only thought of himself? 
 Perhaps she too had to steal away to the 
 pleasure she was to have, and then one day 
 conscience had said "Stop!" and her duties 
 began. 'And then she died. Yes, then she 
 died. 
 
 A strange time began for Astrid now. 
 This mother of hers began to be so real; she 
 felt her beside her when she was tired; she
 
 136 Life 
 
 sided with her when her father was unreason- 
 able; and when she lay despondent in her 
 bed and shed tears, that bright picture on the 
 wall smiled at her until she felt a desire to 
 fold her hands and pray to her. 
 
 She knew very little about this woman, and 
 she did not notice that she endowed her with 
 her own secret wishes; but it was not so 
 hard to think a little defiantly about her 
 father, or to long for a game of tennis, when 
 her mother always took her part. 
 
 One day at supper she said: "Father, do 
 you know today I saw a son of General 
 Bang." 
 
 "Did you really? Well, lie must have been 
 a fine gentleman!" 
 
 "He was awful!" she said. "A conceited 
 dandy! They say he rides well and is clever 
 at ski-iug, but in other respects he's rather 
 wanting in intelligence." 
 
 "Where did you have the honour of mak- 
 ing the gentleman's acquaintance?" asked the 
 old man, raising his red-rimmed eyes. 
 
 She was afraid of blushing, but answered 
 quietly: "He came into the office. My
 
 Life 137 
 
 principal seems to have business transactions 
 with him." 
 
 Thank goodness, she managed that alright! 
 But the fresh untruth was like giving her old 
 father a blow in the face. How could she 
 those hollow cheeks and sleepless eyes! Never 
 again, never again! 
 
 To cheer him she went on after a little: 
 "Father, you once said that the bomb was 
 soon going to explode, didn't you?" 
 
 "Oh yes, yes," he answered peevishly. "Of 
 course it's going to explode all in good time! 
 Just don't you meddle!" 
 
 Afterwards Astrid felt very uncomfort- 
 able because she had also told an untruth about 
 Reidar Bang. He wasn't conceited, and he 
 wasn't a dandy at all. It wasn't true. 
 
 Nevertheless it was not long before she 
 again cheered tne old man by saying some- 
 thing unkind about the general's son. Peo- 
 ple said he was dreadful to his work-people, 
 and he would willingly risk his whole for- 
 tune to crush a rival. That was what he 
 was like. Yes, he took after his father. 
 
 Afterwards she was ashamed of herself
 
 138 Life 
 
 again, for Reidar was very good to his work- 
 people, and ready to help his brother-mer- 
 chants. She had said what was not true. 
 
 But a strange desire was always impelling 
 her to bring him into the conversation, and 
 then she would say something bad about him 
 rather than not mention his name. 
 
 One evening she lay as usual, looking at 
 the bright portrait over there on the wall, 
 when a thought came into her head, so fool- 
 ish and impossible that she could not help 
 laughing. Supposing she were some day to 
 become fond of Reidar and appeared before 
 her father to say she was going to marry a 
 son of General Bang. Heavens! Her father 
 would either have a fit, or send her flying 
 down the stairs! 
 
 "But what would you say, mother?" she 
 suddenly asked, looking towards the picture. 
 And the bright woman over there answered: 
 
 "First of all, be happy! The old have no 
 right to stand in your way." 
 
 She turned to the wall, and drew the 
 clothes over her head. If Reidar knew the 
 bad things she had said of him! Oh well, she
 
 Life 139 
 
 didn't care! And she turned over again and 
 tried to sleep. 
 
 How pleading and humble he was when he 
 stood with his hat in his hand on the tennis- 
 ground asking if he might see her home, and 
 her answer had been like a slap in the face. 
 And what had she not said to him that time 
 and that time and that time! 
 
 She didn't care! Now she would be be- 
 traying her father in this too. Now she 
 would begin to like Reidar, you would see! 
 No, never, never! There are limits to every- 
 thing. 
 
 But people say he is so good to his mother, 
 and his grandmother worships him. He 
 looks well after his work-people too. They 
 say he has a big library and beautiful paint- 
 ings in his home. What was it you said to 
 him that time and that and that? 
 
 One night she sprang up, half asleep, and 
 cried out: "Mother, help me! Don't you 
 see how he haunts me?" 
 
 One afternoon she was ironing in the 
 kitchen when there came a knock at the back 
 door. When she opened it, Inga Bang ap-
 
 140 Life 
 
 peared, breathless and rosy, but pretty in her 
 new summer dress. 
 
 "What in the world has become of you, 
 you naughty girl! Thank goodness I've 
 found you at last!" And she came in, though 
 Astrid would have liked to ask her to go 
 again. They had been friends for a couple 
 of years, but until now Inga had never been 
 allowed to come up. It was not only for the 
 captain's sake, but Astrid was ashamed for 
 her to see their rooms. 
 
 "Well, you can see I'm the maid," she said, 
 pointing to the spots on her kitchen-apron. 
 
 "We thought you must be ill," said the 
 other. "But to be a maid why, that's only 
 jolly." 
 
 "You think it's jolly, do you?" 
 
 "Of course. I'm going to be one myself 
 
 soon." 
 
 "What?" 
 
 "And such a tiny kitchen, and so few 
 things on the walls oh, it's splendid!" The 
 young girl was charmed with the barely fur- 
 nished kitchen. "That's just how we shall 
 have it. Oh, it will be fun!"
 
 Life 141 
 
 "Really today you're speaking in riddles. 
 Did you say you were going to have a kitchen 
 like this?" 
 
 "Exactly like it, Astrid. I'm going to get 
 married soon, you see, and Henrik earns 
 only two hundred krones a month, and he 
 swears that no one shall help us with a far- 
 thing and I quite agree with him. But we 
 shan't be able to afford a servant, you see, so 
 I shall have to do everything myself, and 
 that'll be fun. Tell me, isn't it awfully jolly 
 to cook and wash up?" 
 
 Astrid had first of all to kiss her friend 
 and congratulate her. "I did have a suspi- 
 cion of it," she said, "but are you really go- 
 ing to be married soon?" 
 
 "Oh yes, why should we wait? Henrik 
 is busy making the furniture, for he wants 
 to do everything himself. And every time 
 we go for a walk, we go and look at flats. 
 Three rooms and a kitchen in the meantime. 
 You don't know how splendid it is!" 
 
 Astrid looked at this pretty, spoiled daugh- 
 ter of wealthy parents, who had never needed 
 to put her hand to anything. She talked
 
 142 Life 
 
 about cooking and running the house for al- 
 most nothing, as if it were a dance or a ski- 
 ing expedition with her fiance. 
 
 "Now, Astrid, you must really teach me 
 how to save, for I've no idea how to do it. 
 Do you think one box of matches a week 
 will be enough? I'm calculating all day 
 long, but I must make some of the items less. 
 Is half a krone a week for soft soap too 
 much? Fancy! I shall wash my husband's 
 shirts myself! Won't it be fun?" 
 
 Astrid smiled, but sighed. "Oh yes, per- 
 haps it'll be fun when it's for your husband." 
 
 "How much meat shall we need a month? 
 But I expect you can live cheaper on fish, 
 and really meat is not very necessary, is it?" 
 
 Astrid did not want to discourage her, but 
 she looked at the young girl, standing there 
 pretty and cheerful, full of a desire to work 
 and save for the man she loved. And she 
 herself? 
 
 "Sit down now, and take a cup of tea with 
 me out here in the kitchen," she said. "I 
 can't ask you in unfortunately." 
 
 Inga gathered up her dress and sat down,
 
 Life 143 
 
 her gloved hand resting on the handle of her 
 sunshade. The white veil on her straw hat 
 waved about her rosy face and dark hair, 
 her arching eyebrows and sparkling eyes. 
 
 "And there's one more thing that you 
 really must do for me. You must engage 
 me as your servant for a few hours every 
 day. No, don't laugh, for I'm in earnest. 
 I'll come here and learn to make a nice 
 dinner out of little things, and I'll wash floors, 
 and mend and iron and do the shopping, and 
 you can slap my ringers and scold when I'm 
 stupid. At home mother won't let me, you 
 know, nor father either; but I will, I will 
 learn it all thoroughly before we start house- 
 keeping. Won't you do this for me?'* 
 
 Astrid was busy with the tea over the fire, 
 and said: "I think you're quite mad today, 
 Inga. Did you come here to make fun of 
 me?" 
 
 "To make fun of you! Why it's you, I 
 should say, who are conceited because you're 
 so much cleverer. You don't know how peo- 
 ple admire you and talk about you, as if you
 
 144 Life 
 
 were a perfect saint. Because, you know, 
 it's leaked out how splendid you are." 
 
 "Who talks about me?" said Astrid, turn- 
 ing to her companion. 
 
 "You should hear my brother Reidar, the 
 woman-hater. You've tamed him thoroughly. 
 He asks after you a dozen times in an hour, 
 and I think he has a wild idea of coming up 
 Jo the kitchen here to find you." 
 
 Astrid turned away to the range and said: 
 "I think he'd better not try that." 
 
 Inga laughed. "Better not try! And you 
 think! Do you think he cares what you 
 think, or what's proper? Oh, no, if one day 
 he considers it's right, he'll come, and if you, 
 fasten the door he'll put his shoulder against 
 it and break it in. He's a man who does 
 what he likes, so make no mistake. But I 
 say, you don't really mean you're not coming 
 the day after tomorrow?" 
 
 "Yes, I do. I have a mind of my own too, 
 and I don't intend to come." 
 
 Astrid poured out the tea, and the two girls 
 sat at the kitchen dresser while they drank it.
 
 Life 145 
 
 Inga grew more and more eager. Why 
 wouldn't she come and have a little fun? 
 
 "Let's change the subject." 
 
 "Don't you like Reidar?" 
 
 "That's a pretty dress you've got on." 
 
 "Tell me honestly now do you think he's 
 so bad? You should just know who it 
 really is he's making all this fuss for." 
 
 Astrid looked at Inga. "Who it's for?" 
 she said tonelessly. 
 
 "Yes. Do you think it's like him to get 
 together so many people at his house, and 
 engage a whole orchestra and decorate and 
 turn everything topsy turvy just for one eve- 
 ning he who likes nothing better than ly- 
 ing alone and drifting in a sailing-boat." 
 
 "I don't understand what you mean," said 
 Astrid, looking towards the window. "Be- 
 sides, I haven't a dress." 
 
 "That's capital!" said the other, jumping 
 up in delight. 
 
 "What! Is it capital that I haven't a 
 dress?" 
 
 "Yes, for then we'll make one, of course. 
 You can understand that I shall have to make
 
 146 Life 
 
 my own dresses hereafter, and so I've been 
 learning a little cutting out. We'll set about 
 it at once. Have you got the stuff?" 
 
 "I see you're quite mad today. No, I 
 haven't the stuff, either." 
 
 "Then we'll go out and buy it. Have you 
 any money? If not 
 
 "Yes, yes, set your mind at rest. I've 
 money enough for quite a cheap summer 
 dress." 
 
 "All right, then put on your things.' 7 
 
 Inga had come like a breath of fresh air 
 from all that Astrid secretly longed for; and 
 without quite realising it, she dressed and 
 found herself on the way downstairs to go 
 out and buy a dress-material. She had to 
 have it in any case. She was not going to 
 the merrymaking. Nothing would induce 
 herl 
 
 At supper, the old captain made no objec- 
 tion to Astrid's having a dressmaker in the 
 house. "It's a good thing if you can afford 
 anything of the sort," he said with a sigh. 
 
 "Well, father," she said, "I've saved a
 
 Life 147 
 
 little this month by washing the floors and 
 stairs myself." 
 
 "Very well, child, I've nothing to say 
 against it. But isn't the dressmaker going to 
 have any supper?" 
 
 "Yes, she's having it in the kitchen." 
 
 There was a great deal of whispering be- 
 tween the two girls later in the evening. They 
 cut out, they tacked, they tried on again and 
 again, and the sewing-machine hummed. But 
 suddenly a well-known footstep was heard, 
 and Astrid's heart stood still. The door 
 opened and the captain stood on the thresh- 
 old. Inga jumped up and curtseyed. 
 
 "Froken Isaken," said Astrid by way of 
 introduction, and saved the situation. Inga 
 had quite forgotten the part she was to play, 
 and was about to correct the name, but felt 
 a foot upon her own. The captain saw his 
 coming had disturbed them, and smilingly 
 withdrew. When he was gone, both the girls 
 drew a breath of relief. 
 
 When Inga finally went, she had obtained 
 leave to come again and act as servant. All
 
 148 Life 
 
 that was needed was to prepare the old man, 
 and it would be all right. 
 
 During the night, the half-finished dress 
 on the chair seemed to become alive. Astrid 
 thought her mother came and put it on. 
 "Look, my daughter! I was once beautiful 
 too. You are beautiful now. Festivities 
 were held for me too in the long summer eve- 
 nings; but then I was put into fetters, and at 
 last I could do no more. Take care, child! 
 You are only young once; don't waste your 
 best days; one day it will be too late." 
 
 The following evening Inga could not come 
 and help her, for Reidar wanted her out at 
 his house. "Thank goodness!" thought As- 
 trid. "Then the dress won't be ready, and 
 that can be my excuse." 
 
 And yet after supper she could not settle 
 to anything else, neither needlework nor a 
 book; and almost without her will, the sew- 
 ing-machine began to hum, and the hours 
 passed. The red summer evening sky glowed 
 above the house-roofs outside, and flooded 
 her hair and face with a golden light, while 
 her hands worked and her thoughts flew far.
 
 Life 149 
 
 At last there was nothing left to do but to 
 sew the buttons on, and that she would not 
 do. And yet her hands began to sew them 
 on. 
 
 Her father was probably lying awake 
 thinking melancholy thoughts, while she 
 what was she doing? Every stitch seemed 
 like treachery, and suddenly her hands 
 dropped in her lap. Why was she doing 
 this? And for the first time her eyes were 
 opened to the fact that lately whenever she 
 had had dreams of freedom and youth, she 
 had involuntarily thought of Reidar Bang. 
 Her brightest hopes had apparelled them- 
 selves in his form and why? Why? It was 
 as though he stood upon the other side of an 
 abyss and beckoned. "Come here! There is 
 everything here that you long for. Only 
 come! Dare the leap, even if you have to set 
 your foot upon your father!" 
 
 She wanted to sew, but her fingers trem- 
 bled. She looked imploringly up at the bright 
 picture on the wall, and it smiled encourage- 
 ment at her. There was only one more but- 
 ton now, and for Reidar's sake she might as
 
 150 Life 
 
 well sew it on; and her very hands tingled 
 with joy, as if it were her wedding-dress she 
 was working at, and then with fear, as if she 
 were stitching at her father's shroud. 
 
 When at last the dress was finished, she 
 threw herself upon the bed and buried her 
 face in the pillow.
 
 yin 
 
 IT was true midsummer weather in the 
 Kristiania valley, with pale blue haze and 
 the air so still that the sailing boats on the 
 fjord seemed to be hovering motionless above 
 rosy clouds and brown hillsides. Flags were 
 flying over the town, upon the hills around, 
 over the forest of masts in the harbour, and 
 over Reidar Bang's house on Bygdo Island, 
 where the fir-wood stretched green arches 
 down to the fjord. 
 
 Indoors Inga was carrying on a reign of 
 terror among the maids, in preparation for 
 the arrival of the guests. Reidar himself was 
 walking on the shore, bareheaded and in 
 smoking- jacket, glancing now and again at 
 Paul Tangen, who walked beside him. He 
 felt desperate, for here was he in a state of 
 anxiety as to whether a certain little girl 
 were coming or not! "You're becoming a 
 weakling!" he said to himself. "You once 
 
 ventured to defy your father and leave the 
 
 161
 
 152 Life 
 
 military college. You didn't go home after- 
 wards, but went on board an emigrant-ship, 
 and many of your experiences in Klondyke 
 are worthy of a man. But now now you 
 can't sleep at night because hff!" 
 
 He felt as if something cowardly had be- 
 gun to steal round him, and what he had to 
 do was to get rid of it. If the girl did not 
 come, he would hold high festival this evening, 
 treat every one to champagne, pour paraffin 
 on the big wood-stack down on the rocks, so 
 that his Midsummer Eve bonfire should be 
 talked about. Did she think she could spoil 
 his party then? 
 
 "Will you do me a service by letting your- 
 self go tonight?" he said to Tangen. 
 
 "Yes, by the gods I will!" 
 
 But Paul Tangen was pale, and inwardly 
 he was feeling far from gay. With his usual 
 carelessness in money-matters he had recently 
 fallen into the hands of money-lenders, and 
 several hopes of selling pictures had been 
 disappointed. He would never think of ask- 
 ing his wealthy friend for assistance, and 
 now his home must be put up for auction.
 
 Life 153 
 
 Well, to move into the country and begin 
 a new struggle with poverty did not frighten 
 him exactly; but when he got his head above 
 water again, he would not be young any 
 longer. The gay light-hearted years of which 
 he had had no experience until he was near- 
 ing forty, were probably over now and would 
 never come again. He was holding festival 
 this evening for the last time; but even his 
 wife did not know it yet, for he wanted her to 
 have a cloudless Midsummer Eve. 
 
 "I'm not well," said Reidar, looking philo- 
 sophically into the distance. 
 
 "No, I've noticed it!" 
 
 "What! Have you really noticed it?" 
 
 "Who could help it?" Tangen answered, 
 talking as if he himself was free from care 
 and therefore able to enter into his friend's 
 troubles. "Through the latter part of the 
 spring you've not been yourself at all. I 
 don't allude to your having given up dumb- 
 bells and cold water, and taken to medicine 
 before and after meals. No, you've become 
 so full of feeling, my friend. This year 
 you've tended your flowers with your own
 
 154 Life 
 
 hand; you've taken to keeping pigeons and 
 a canary; and your handkerchiefs are so per- 
 fumed that the wasps fly after you, thinking 
 you're a flower. There's something the mat- 
 ter with him, I've said " 
 
 "You're a confounded idiot," cried Reidar, 
 giving him a push so that he fell into an ap- 
 ple-tree. "And besides, you're mistaken, be- 
 cause the fact is I'm studying a subject for a 
 novel!" 
 
 "What!" exclaimed Tangen, who was once 
 more at his side. "What are vou studying, 
 did you say?" 
 
 "You can make as much fun of me as you 
 like, but I've often said, most of what's writ- 
 ten in novels is nonsense from beginning to 
 end. Lave, for instance, oloesn't beginjwith 
 sighs and moonlight. Oh, no! I will sup- 
 pose a man at first despises a girl, and thinks 
 her stupid and ugly, but then this is only a 
 supposed case then one day he sees her 
 changing her shoes and discovers a little hole 
 in the heel of her stocking." 
 
 "Aha!" said the artist. "And what then?" 
 
 "What then'? Why this poor little heel
 
 Life 155 
 
 keeps coming into his mind after that, and he 
 also remembers that her hands are red, and 
 la desire comes upon him to take her into 
 his arms and carry her away into a brighter 
 world. He approaches her, but she mistrusts 
 him ; he humbles himself, but she answers him 
 with flashing eyes. And he he swears he'll 
 have nothing to do with her; but he can't do 
 it, and it's all the fault of that confounded 
 stocking-heel. Yes, that's how love can be- 
 gin, or rather that's how a sensible man loses 
 his head. No, you're quite right; one ought 
 to punch misfortune's head, and give a party 
 to defy it." 
 
 At that moment a motor-car stopped at 
 'the garden gate, and the two men hastened 
 towards it. It was the general with his wife 
 and daughter, Fru Captain Ramm, and 
 youngest son the engineer. Inga was in- 
 stantly on the spot as hostess, still warm with 
 all she had done, in a pale yellow muslin 
 frock with a wide lace collar and yellow 
 flowers in her dark hair. The general looked 
 at her for a moment, and then stooped and 
 kissed her hand.
 
 156 Life 
 
 "Are you pleased with me, father?" 
 
 "Come here, Inga," called Fru Bang, who 
 was already on the verandah. She did not 
 approve of her husband's manner of treating 
 his daughters. 
 
 "This evening we're going to dance our- 
 selves happy and mad again," said Paul Tan- 
 gen to Fru Ramm. 
 
 "Yes, you others," she replied with a faint 
 smile, as she put up her parasol. 
 
 She was dressed in white, and wore a white 
 hat with a large black ostrich feather; and of 
 late her almost too round rosy face had ac- 
 quired a shade of melancholy that made her 
 prettier than before. 
 
 "You're never to be seen now," he said 
 lightly, to which she replied with a bitter 
 smile and turned away. 
 
 The garden gate opened again, and Inga 
 and Reidar were kept busy in their capacity 
 of hostess and host. Light dresses and uni- 
 forms sailed in among dark clothes, and now 
 and then a pair of striped trousers beneath 
 a long coat. There were engineers, come 
 from railways that were being laid through
 
 Life 157 
 
 forest and over mountain, as brown as In- 
 dians, busy city men who had only just had 
 time to go home and change. Then came a 
 sunburnt arctic traveller, then a couple of 
 barristers and a young diplomat, and lastly 
 a forty-year-old industrial king, plump and 
 smiling, between a Danish prima donna and 
 a famous singer. They kept on coming, 
 mostly young people old enough to have made 
 a position, but still with sufficient absence 
 from care to make a night of it. 
 
 "Glad to see you, Louisa," said Inga to a 
 young girl in red with a plait down her 
 back. "And you too, Ida. Oh, how pretty 
 your dress is!" 
 
 The white house stood in the middle of a 
 large garden, which sloped down to the fjord 
 with fir wood on either side. It was soon a 
 lively scene under the green trees, where the 
 guests gathered in groups, talking and laugh- 
 ing. There was a gentle breeze coming in 
 from the fjord, bearing the scent of seaweed 
 and pines; and the gentle plash of the waves 
 upon the shore mingled with the rustling of 
 the tree-tops and the merry voices.
 
 158 Life 
 
 "Do you see how stylish our ladies are be- 
 ginning to be?" said Tangen to Dr. Holth, 
 who was wandering about looking for Astrid 
 Riis. "And there's that young engineer Bang 
 pretending to be nothing but a dandy, while 
 without his father's knowledge he's made a 
 bold move and bought a waterfall and formed 
 a company, and is going to build a factory. 
 r Beware of men nowadays who press their 
 V trousers carefully; there's something in them." 
 Suddenly the artist started as he saw 
 Hjorth enter with his young wife. Since 
 the Easter outing he had been violently at- 
 tracted by this beautiful woman, but he might 
 just as well have expected to catch a salmon 
 with his hands. And yet it had been an 
 exciting game when she alternately hid her- 
 self and enticed him, always gliding away 
 whenever he thought he had triumphed. And 
 now she was coming towards him dressed in 
 pink as light as air, which dimly revealed 
 the curves of her figure. Her yellow straw 
 hat was worn a little off her face, which, 
 framed by her dark hair, shone out as from 
 a glory. Young, slender and yet of rounded
 
 Life 159 
 
 form, she moved forward with nods and smiles 
 to all sides. 
 
 "How do you do, Wilhelmine?" came from 
 every quarter. "How do you do, Hjorth?" 
 
 As Tangen took her hand, he had the feel- 
 ing that it was for the last time; and when 
 she noticed that his hand trembled, she 
 dropped her eyes. 
 
 "I'm going away very soon," he said in a 
 low voice. 
 
 "For a long time?" She also spoke in an 
 undertone. 
 
 "For some years." 
 
 "Isn't your wife here?" she asked loud 
 enough for all to hear, as she passed on; but 
 that she lowered her voice to say something 
 to him made his pulses beat. Why? Did he 
 expect anything from it? No; and yet 
 and yet 
 
 "It's nine o'clock," said Fru Bang to Rei- 
 dar. "We must have supper." But he still 
 stood looking towards the gate as if he ex- 
 pected others. 
 
 "Just a moment!" he said. 
 
 But then the general came up and said he
 
 160 Life 
 
 was hungry, and again Reidar looked through 
 the trees, hoping to catch sight of a white 
 dress; but the trees stood bathed in the rosy 
 evening light, and there was no one to be 
 seen. 
 
 At last Inga came out on the verandah 
 and clapped her hands to call the guests to 
 supper; and one after another the couples 
 passed up through the garden and into the 
 house. The tennis-court, which lay behind 
 the red stable-building, was boarded over so 
 that they could dance upon it, and a band 
 of musicians was already on the ground tun- 
 ing up. 
 
 In the meantime Astrid had passed a 
 strange day. In the office she had entered 
 amounts in the wrong books, and later when 
 she was on her way home, every one seemed 
 to her to be in high spirits, ready to dance 
 out of doors. When finally she entered her 
 little kitchen, it seemed so dark, so poor, so 
 comfortless, that she sank into a chair with 
 her hands in her lap. 
 
 But dinner had to be prepared, and as she 
 stood over the fire, with the smoke in her
 
 Life 161 
 
 face and soot on her hands, she was thinking 
 of the blue sky arid fresh green trees as a 
 thirsty m#n thinks of water. And she 
 seemed to hear her mother say to her: "Go 
 to the party, child! You've earned a little 
 amusement." 
 
 Astrid opened the window to the yard, but 
 instead of fresh air there streamed in the 
 stench of backyard air, and she had to shut 
 it again. "Yes," she asid to herself, "I'll go! 
 I can't help it; I must go!" 
 
 But at dinner-time she thought she had 
 never seen her father look so old. It seemed 
 to her that if she went to Reidar's party this 
 evening, something extraordinary would hap- 
 pen. Her father was in good spirits because 
 he had finished part of his army-reorganisa- 
 tion plan; and his poor little hope of obtain- 
 ing satisfaction so touched her now that her 
 food seemed to choke her. Could she de- 
 ceive him again this evening? She turned 
 her eyes to the sitting-room and everything 
 in it seemed to say: "Of course you can go 
 if you like and become the wife of a rich mer-
 
 162 Life 
 
 chant, but we everything in here we won't 
 desert your father." 
 
 "You're not eating, child," said the cap- 
 tain. 
 
 "It's so hot in here," she said. 
 
 Later in the afternoon she lay down for a 
 little while on her bed. The picture on the 
 wall seemed to talk and talk, and she drew 
 the sheet over her face so as to think of 
 something else. But it was really so hot, and 
 the flies were so disagreeable, and she felt in 
 her body a thirst for fresh air and happy 
 movement, laughter and a high, blue sky. 
 Oh, if she only could! 
 
 Suddenly she got up, and a little while 
 after went quietly in to the old man, who was 
 once more sitting at his work. 
 
 "Read me something," she said with the 
 look of one who is paying dearly for some- 
 thing. The captain polished his glasses, and 
 adjusted them upon his red nose, and began 
 to read from the written sheets. It took a 
 long time, and the room was very close. 
 When at last he ended, she had heard it all 
 and began to discuss it with him. At last she
 
 Life 163 
 
 mentioned the general. How this would 
 make him smart when it came out. After 
 that she spoke ill of Reidar, and Inga, a 
 daughter of the general, whom she had now 
 also met. It was a terrible family! Astrid 
 racked her brains to think of something more 
 to say; she would spare nothing in order to 
 pay dearly for this evening. 
 
 When she rose, she looked about her with 
 a feeling that something was over now. 
 
 After supper she said she would go for a 
 walk. "That's right!" said her father, 
 charmed and happy over all the pleasure she 
 had given him that day. "Do go for a walk, 
 child!" 
 
 She put on her white dress, and fastened 
 her locket round her neck. She would not 
 hide it from him today. 
 
 As she stood looking at herself in the mir- 
 ror, the thought of this dress filled her with 
 terror. She had washed stairs in order to be 
 able to afford it, and while she sewed at it, 
 she had been working herself stitch by stitch 
 away from her father and over to well, to 
 whom? And without knowing what she did,
 
 164 Life 
 
 she examined all the folds of the dress, as if 
 she expected to find an ugly stain. 
 
 In her white hat, which she had made her- 
 self out of plaited paper, and with mittens 
 drawn up over her red arms, she hurried 
 through the town; and when she reached the 
 quays where the wide heavens, the fjord and 
 the wooded hills were spread out before her, 
 she felt as if she must stretch out her arms 
 and cry aloud. The fjord was swarming 
 with little steamers hurring in to and out 
 from the quays; the sun had gone down, and 
 the bonfires were lighted, their yellow flames 
 burning brightly along both shores, out on 
 the islands, and up among the blue hills. 
 
 When she had crossed the bay on the 
 steamer and was making her way through the 
 wood, her nostrils quivered and she drew deep 
 breaths of the warm pin-scented air, while her 
 movements resembled those of a young deer. 
 She passed a number of people seated among 
 the trees, riders, open-air restaurants, and 
 house after house; but she asked her way, and 
 hastened on in the direction indicated. The 
 pine-needles under her feet were warm and
 
 Life 165 
 
 crackled gaily, and all was fresh and bright, 
 and home nothing but a dream. She smelt 
 the salt from the sea and stopped to drink it 
 in. Where was she going? What was she 
 doing? Well, she must go on. 
 
 "There she is!" cried Inga, coming out 
 flushed with dancing. "Who?" asked Reidar, 
 who had also just finished a dance. "Look for 
 yourself 1" 
 
 Yes, there she was, stealing along cau- 
 tiously, as if ready at any moment to turn and 
 fly, the red light through the trees flecking her 
 white dress and hat, her face flushed with 
 warmth or shyness; but she drew nearer and 
 nearer. 
 
 "Is that you at last, you bad person!" cried 
 Inga, running towards her. 
 
 After supper Reidar's guests had stood for 
 some time in groups round the bonfire on the 
 beach, and dancing had only just begun; and 
 Paul Tangen now led Fru Hjorth on to the 
 floor to dance the first waltz. 
 
 "You said you were going away," she whis- 
 pered, as they swung round in the merry 
 throng.
 
 166 Life 
 
 "It's necessary unfortunately." 
 
 "Why?" 
 
 "Don't ask me." 
 
 She understood that some misfortune was 
 at the bottom of it. And it seemed to him that 
 she all at once leaned more heavily on his arm, 
 as she bent back and gathered up her dress in 
 one hand. Paul Tangen never forgot that 
 dance. She seemed in farewell to bpeathe out 
 the whole of her youth over him; above them 
 was the blue sky, and he drank in the perfume 
 of her hair with the scent of the pines, while 
 the rustle of her pink dress mingled with the 
 plash of the waves. He was swept away by 
 it all in a feeling of happiness as great as if 
 it were the young summer itself he held in his 
 embrace. 
 
 "How can you close your eyes when there 
 is such a glorious sky above you?" he said. 
 
 She answered with a little glance through 
 her long eyelashes. "Do you think my sky is 
 any less beautiful than yours?" 
 
 "Then I'll see it too," he said and closed his 
 eyes. And it seemed to him that they melted 
 together into a single warm wave, borne along
 
 Life 167 
 
 by the long, divine rhythm which is both pain 
 and pleasure, which trembles in everything 
 that lives and dies, from the worm to the plan- 
 ets, which is the mystery of light and sound, 
 and perhaps the origin of the universe. 
 
 "Shall we stop? Are you tired?" 
 
 "No, no!" she whispered. 
 
 The big tennis-ground was one whirl of 
 light dresses and tall men, and warm, breath- 
 less couples were continually resorting to the 
 long table by the garden fence, where young 
 girls in white caps stood and served refresh- 
 ments. 
 
 The general had of course danced until he 
 was quite warm, and as he stood by the table 
 drinking soda water, the arctic explorer came 
 up with Fru Tangen to look for a glass. 
 
 "Well, sir," said the general, "I suppose 
 you've seen polar bears dancing at the north 
 pole?" 
 
 "Not polar bears," said the weatherbeaten 
 man with a smile, "but seals. They now and 
 then have a wedding at the edge of the ice, 
 and tumble about and yell like drunken peas- 
 ants in olden days."
 
 168 Life 
 
 The general turned to watch Reidar, who 
 was leading out Astrid Riis to dance. They 
 swung in among the others, she hanging yield- 
 ingly upon his arm, as though she had drifted 
 here against her will, and was now being swept 
 away in a joy so sinful that she had to hide 
 her face. 
 
 Reider would have been perfectly happy 
 now that she was here at last, if he had not 
 been trembling with anxiety over what was 
 soon to happen. He was very careful that 
 she should get no bumps in the crush, and in 
 
 a little while began in a whisper : "Why 
 
 But she instantly pressed his hand and said: 
 "Don't ask!" It seemed to him that in saying 
 this she had put her arms round his neck, and 
 he smiled down into her face so kindly that she 
 smiled back at him. The soft rhythm of the 
 dance felt like something motherly that took 
 them into its embrace to prevent anything 
 fateful happening to them yet. 
 
 Flushed with warmth, the couples began to 
 take little walks through the garden, fanning 
 their hot faces with fans and handkerchiefs, 
 while laughter and happy talk sounded out in
 
 Life 169 
 
 the pale blue night. Down on the beach, the 
 tar-barrel still sent up smoke and fire as if in 
 greeting to its comrades flaming far, far off; 
 and the gentle breeze on the fjord had dropped 
 again, so that the white-sailed yachts seemed 
 to stand up out of the deep sky of the sea it- 
 self. 
 
 When Paul Tangen had given up Fru 
 Hjorth to another partner, he had no desire 
 to dance any more. He wandered alone along 
 the shore and looked across at the sleeping 
 town on the other side of the bay, where tow- 
 ers and church-spires rose out of the copper- 
 hued haze. 
 
 "It'll have to be work after this," he said to 
 Himself. "And what does it matter? And 
 poverty and toil for a few miserable shillings, 
 and doing without things but what does that 
 matter either?" 
 
 "Oh, is that you?" said a voice, and his 
 brother came up and joined him. "Isn't it 
 splendid here? Do you know what I've 
 thought of?" And Paul was told about a mod- 
 ern temple, its roof borne up by columns which 
 were to be statues of great men. In its bright
 
 170 Life 
 
 halls youth should hold festival, generation af- 
 ter generation, while the nation's famous men, 
 one after another, were immortalised as pil- 
 lars of the temple of youth. 
 
 "Be quiet!" said Paul. "You're in love, 
 you know." 
 
 "Don't you ever think how sad it is that 
 one can't keep any part of an evening like 
 this? Just think that all this symphony of 
 colour, rhythm and happy cries is over and 
 gone past recall tomorrow!" And the young 
 man's chin was pushed out in a melancholy 
 smile. 
 
 / "Life is extravagant and can afford to be 
 wasteful, my friend." And at that moment 
 catching sight of his wife, he hastened up to 
 her and asked for a dance. 
 
 "Fancy!" she said. "Have you really recol- 
 lected my existence?" 
 
 "Oh, don't suppose I haven't seen how 
 you've been making up to the arctic explorer 
 this evening! You've made me quite jealous!" 
 
 And the frivolous man danced with this 
 woman, who was the only one he would care 
 to have married, and to whom he always re-
 
 Life 171 
 
 turned. He would soon have to tell her of 
 the trouble that had come upon them, that they 
 would have to give up all the pretty things 
 they had got together, and become poor people 
 in an attic again. 
 
 "How beautiful you are this evening!" he 
 whispered with a sad smile. "Do you remem- 
 ber it was an evening like this when we got 
 engaged?" 
 
 She raised her beautiful brown eyes to him, 
 and looked pleased; and the dance seemed to 
 sweep away the intervening years and they 
 were engaged afresh. 
 
 When Reidar finished his dance with Astrid. 
 he meant to take her a little way off, and she 
 understood this and looked about for help. It 
 came in the shape of the general asking for a 
 dance, and Reidar found himself standing 
 alone once more. 
 
 And Astrid was dancing with her father's 
 deadly enemy! His arm was about her waist, 
 and he was saying nice things to her about 
 her dress. She was glad she had escaped hav- 
 ing to go with Reidar, for goodness knows
 
 172 Life 
 
 what would have happened if she had done; 
 but was this any better? 
 
 "You dance just as delightfully as your 
 mother," said the general, charmed. "She was 
 a regular open-air creature. A poet once 
 called her a daughter of the sun and the wind." 
 
 "Did you know my mother?" 
 
 His answer, after a short pause, "Yes, in- 
 deed I did," was said in such a manner that it 
 sent a cold shiver down her back. What had 
 there been between the general and her moth- 
 er? She had to go on dancing, but would have 
 liked to tear herself away and fly. 
 
 When at last they left the floor, Holth was 
 standing by and fortunately asked^ her for a 
 dance; but before they entered the whirl, she 
 whispered: "Will you see me home? Bui 
 don't tell any one." 
 
 Reidar had wandered excitedly up and down 
 in the garden, waiting for Astrid to be disen- 
 gaged; but as he once more approached the 
 dancing-ground, Fru Ramm came up to him 
 and said: "Froken Riis asked me to say good- 
 by to you. She had to go home to her father, 
 and Holth went with her."
 
 Life 173 
 
 "What! Oh well, that's capital!" said Rei- 
 3ar, bursting into a laugh. ^ 
 
 A little later some one shouted "Hurrah!" 
 as large baskets of champagne were seen be- 
 ing carried from the verandah over to the long 
 table under- the trees. 
 
 "Lookf Look!" came from all sides. "Hur- 
 rah! Hurrah!" 
 
 And at the same time a monster flame 
 sprang up from the beach, as a match was put 
 to the wood-stack over which paraffin had been 
 poured. A couple who had been sitting be- 
 hind a bush down there, rushed out as if the 
 unexpetced light had caught them doing some- 
 thing wrong. The huge bonfire threatened to 
 destroy the fir-trees close by, which it dyed 
 red; and showers of sparks were thrown up 
 higher than the flames before they fell. The 
 whole garden "became red, and faces and 
 dresses ; the houe became red, and smoke and 
 flame were mirrored in the smooth water of the 
 fjord. 
 
 There was a report at the table, and Reidar 
 suddenly got upon a bench with a foaming 
 glass held above his red head, and made a
 
 174 Life 
 
 speech in honour of pleasure. White arms 
 raised glasses, healths were drunk, and cheers 
 given. It was the signal for a regular out- 
 break of jollity. The rotund industrial king 
 stood on a table in the centre of a group of 
 ladies, and proposed the health of their host. 
 Then it was the general himself who managed 
 to get up on to something or other to extol 
 woman; and before he knew where he was, he 
 was seized by young girls and carried in tri- 
 umph round the ground. 
 
 There was a continual popping of corks, and 
 the garden was soon a scene of wild confusion. 
 People danced wherever they could, without 
 looking what they were trampling upon; 
 women fled away screaming, followed by their 
 partners; couples strayed along the shore, 
 looking into one another's eyes and whisper- 
 ing; and the great tall forester, the general's 
 eldest son, suddenly appeared with his wife 
 struggling in his arms, and said he was going 
 to throw her into the water because she was 
 unfaithful. 
 
 In a few minutes the stableman, by his mas- 
 ter's order, had mowed down all the flowers
 
 Life 175 
 
 in the beds, and Reidar went about with a huge 
 basket scattering red, yellow and white flow- 
 ers over women and men, crying: "Adorn 
 yourselves! Adorn yourselves!" 
 
 "Dear me, is that why you've been garden- 
 ing so industriously this summer," said Fru 
 Ramm. 
 
 "Yes," answered Reidar, with a forced 
 laugh. "Yes, of course, that was why. Here, 
 good people, adorn yourselves! And why 
 aren't you drinking?" 
 
 The arctic explorer and Harald Bang came 
 up to him arm in arm. "He doesn't think I 
 can swim out to that little island there!" said 
 Harald. 
 
 "Well, then, you can show him you can at 
 once," said Reidar. "I could do it and empty 
 a bottle on the way." 
 
 "So could I," said Paul Tangen, who came 
 up just then. 
 
 The bonfire had now burnt low, and was 
 nothing but ashes and smoke; but from be- 
 hind the hills in the east rose flames from the 
 dawning day. 
 
 The general went home, but the young peo-
 
 176 Life 
 
 pie were invited to breakfast out on the little 
 island; and soon four boats put out from the 
 land, adorned with green branches, and with 
 the band in the first. Reidar, Harald, Paul 
 Tangen and the arctic explorer were to follow 
 immediately. 
 
 The red fjord was as smooth as glass. A 
 couple of yachts lay with flapping sails as if 
 they slept, and as the merry party glided past 
 a loaded sloop, they noticed the fresh smell of 
 newly-baked bread. 
 
 "Oh look! Look!" 
 
 It was four swimmers who shot out from 
 a promontory a little way from Reidar's house, 
 and headed with even strokes for the island. 
 
 "Goodness!" cried the Danish prima donna. 
 "Who are those crazy people? Fancy if they 
 were to drown !" 
 
 It was easy to see who they were, and the 
 band immediately struck up. The boats drew 
 nearer so as to be at hand if required; and 
 suddenly the sun shot up, casting its ruddy 
 light upon the four heads rising out of the 
 water. 
 
 "Hullo!" cried Reidar. "We're going to
 
 Life 177 
 
 drink to your Health !" And the bodies of four 
 men came into view as they stood treading 
 water with the sun shining red upon their wet 
 skin. "Your health!" And Reidar held up a 
 bottle of champagne, made the cork fly, and 
 put it to his mouth, after which it went the 
 round of the others. 
 
 "Bravo! Bravo!" shouted the rest of the 
 party, and then the green-garlanded boats 
 passed on across the smooth fjord to the ac- 
 companiment of music and laughter. 
 
 At last they landed upon the little island, 
 the swimmers in a secluded spot, where Henrik 
 Tangen brought them their clothes, which had 
 been brought in one of the boats. A fire was 
 lighted, and soon they were all lying on the 
 grass drinking freshly-made coffee, while the 
 sun rose higher and higher, and the life on the 
 fjord began to awake. 
 
 A couple of hours later Reidar sat alone 
 upon his verandah, looking idly at the garden, 
 which was overstrewn with bottles and broken 
 glass, and where the half-withered flowers lay 
 trampled down upon the paths and grass- 
 plots.
 
 178 Life 
 
 For a moment he covered his face with his 
 hands and felt inclined to weep or laugh 
 scornfully or sleep or go far away ; but sud- 
 denly he raised his head defiantly. "Not for 
 the world!" he said aloud. "I'll show you that 
 I'm the strongest!" 
 
 Then he rose, and instead of going to bed, 
 he changed his clothes and went through some 
 gymnastic exercises; and a moment later he 
 was darting across the red bay to town in his 
 white motor-boat, steering with one hand and 
 trying to peel an orange with the other. The 
 others might sleep if they liked. He was go- 
 ing to the office to work. Was he the master 
 of his own destiny or not?
 
 IX 
 
 A COUPLE of days later, Jorgen Holth was 
 on his homeward way in such good spirits that 
 he could not help whistling. He had once 
 more, as if by chance, met Astrid Riis; and 
 when he boldly suggested a walk to Holmen- 
 kollen tomorrow evening, she had actually an- 
 swered yes. 
 
 "Ha-ha!" he laughed to himself. "I'm go- 
 ing to hold a tryst at last!" 
 
 He was toiling hard at examination-papers 
 just now, and at home, in the heat, it was 
 stuffier than ever. The children worried him 
 to let them go into the country, and Selma's 
 eyes pleaded for it too; and he had not got a 
 step farther with the two books he was writ- 
 ing. Was courage lacking? Was it too late? 
 No, but when his duties were over in the after- 
 noon, and he sat down at his writing-table, his 
 head was weary and his thoughts were sad. 
 He would sit with his chin resting upon his 
 hand, looking straight before him, and before 
 
 179
 
 180 Life 
 
 he was aware of it he was dreaming of a 
 golden-haired girl. For him she represented 
 the youth that he was never to experience, but 
 of which he nevertheless tried every day to ob- 
 tain a glimpse. And now tomorrow I 
 
 It was the first time he had ever come home 
 with a joy that he was obliged to conceal. At 
 dinner Selma asked: "Has anything hap- 
 pened, Jorgen?" "No, why?" "You look so 
 pleased." Selma, of course, was always ex- 
 pecting that little miracle to happen the ap- 
 pointment to a headmastership or professor- 
 ship. Some day, surely, good fortune must 
 knock at their door too! 
 
 Next morning she said again: "Were you 
 ill in the night, Jorgen?" 
 
 "111? I?" 
 
 "You were so restless, and got up several 
 times to look out of the window." 
 
 This was true. He had spent the night in a 
 childish anxiety lest it should rain, for then 
 she would not meet him, he supposed. 
 
 It was a long day at school, and still longer 
 at home. How endless an hour seems when 
 one wants it to pass ! How long dinner takes
 
 Life 181 
 
 when the children make messes and dawdle 
 and can never be done 1 But he kept down his 
 irritability, and played with little Susanna, and 
 gave the eldest boy good advice about his ex- 
 amination the following day; he even listened 
 patiently to Selma's tale of domestic troubles. 
 He could so well afford it now. In an hour 
 in half-an-hour ! 
 
 At last he said he had to go to a school- 
 festival, and therefore had to dress. But jusf 
 as he was going, he stopped involuntarily for 
 a moment, and looked round the rooms where 
 Selma and he had together gone through so 
 much, both evil and good. "Don't go!" a 
 voice within him said. Selma was sitting 
 patching a little pair of trousers, and tired and 
 faded Jhough she was, seemed happy today, 
 because he had been so kind. "Don't go!" 
 But he went. Only this once ! Out in the pas- 
 sage, little Susanna came to him and wanted 
 to go too, and in her eagerness clasped her arms 
 round his knees and let herself be dragged 
 along. He never forgot how he had to unclasp 
 her little hands by force, nor her cry as he 
 went down the stairs. What was he doing?
 
 182 Life 
 
 And yet the town had never seemed so beau- 
 tiful to him before. The people that passed 
 had happy faces, and he felt as if at last, after 
 many years' injustice, he was going to receive 
 restitution. 
 
 He sat on a bench at Majorstuen and 
 waited. He prepared something bright and 
 pretty to say to the young girl, and it was like 
 getting rid of book-dust and domestic trou- 
 bles, and adorning himself with young, fresh 
 colours. Would she not soon be coming. 
 
 A barrister and a doctor, both socialists, 
 passed him, and when they saw him and nod- 
 ded to him, he was quite embarrassed. "Well, 
 why weren't you too at the labour festival at 
 Kampen?" asked the doctor, stopping a mo- 
 ment. 
 
 "Examination papers, my friend!" an- 
 swered Holth, waving them away without 
 knowing he did it. The two gentlemen 
 stepped into the tram and disappeared. 
 
 Was she not coming? Even this anxiety 
 was something he positively enjoyed. It was 
 like a breath from earlier years. It was not 
 social sorrow, or pecuniary troubles, or jeal-
 
 Life 183 
 
 ousy of colleagues, but something brighter 
 and purer. Now he thought he saw her, but 
 was disappointed; then he discovered far 
 down the street a hat like hers, but again it 
 was some one else's. Then all at once she was 
 standing in front of him, red and breathless 
 with hurrying. 
 
 "Have you been waiting? I couldn't come 
 before." 
 
 She was in a light cotton frock, with a 
 leather belt about her waist, and upon her 
 golden hair the white hat of plaited paper. 
 They decided to take the tram to Slemdal, and 
 walk on from there. In the tram they talked 
 about the party on Bygdo, which had been 
 such fun. 
 
 When they left the tram, they went with 
 several other people up a road towards the 
 wood, and before long were alone. White and 
 brown houses were just visible through the 
 green trees and firs on both sides, the tall 
 trunks of the fir-trees showed red in the sun- 
 light, and birds flew backwards and forwards 
 above their heads. 
 
 "I'm looking forward to hearing about your
 
 184 Life 
 
 work," she said. "Or perhaps you were only 
 making fun of me when you promised to tell 
 me about it." 
 
 "Yes, I only said it in fun." 
 
 "You consider I'm too stupid, of course." 
 
 "Just so; and conceited." 
 
 "Thank you!" 
 
 They both laughed; the sentences were like 
 chirps. What good friends they were already! 
 It happened that they turned into a path 
 where they were obliged to walk closer to- 
 gether, and soon the trees hung so low over 
 their heads that they often had to stoop. 
 
 "I can't be out very long," said Astrid. 
 "Father's not very well just now." 
 
 "Why, we've only just started!" 
 
 "How she looks at me!" he thought, remem- 
 bering his grey hair and ageing face. He 
 must make her see something younger and 
 more beautiful in him. What he was writing? 
 A book on the divine Csesar Borgia, and he 
 had also planned one on Dante. And just 
 listen how the pope's son, the beautiful blood- 
 hound, really took after the poet of heaven
 
 Life 185 
 
 and hell! His words came so easily, his voice 
 was full and warm. 
 
 Was it not a splendid walk? Every time 
 he could tell her about something beautiful, it 
 seemed as If a buried gem were dug out of his 
 memory, and allowed to sparkle in the light 
 again. And he gave it to her, wishing it had 
 all been still more beautiful. Later on they 
 sat down on the heather and while she, with 
 bent head, drew a stalk of grass through her 
 fingers, he lay back with his hands behind his 
 head, and told her about Heloi'se and Abelard. 
 High above the tree-tops rose the blue heaven, 
 and he lay there in the wood with a young girl 
 sitting beside him, and was a poet of twenty 
 again. 
 
 When at last they stood taking leave of one 
 another down in the town, he pressed her hand 
 respectfully. "Thank you for my first sum- 
 mer evening," he said with a melancholy smile. 
 "I'm wondering whether you'll make me a 
 present of one more." He watched her lips 
 anxiously. 
 
 She answered as if to herself: "I've no one
 
 186 Life 
 
 else to go with now. Father always wants to 
 go alone?' 
 
 "But your friends, Froken Bang and Rei- 
 dar and ?" 
 
 "Good night!" she said hurriedly, and has- 
 tened away. 
 
 Thus began a series of excursions in the 
 neighbourhood of the town, which filled 
 Holth's days with the brightest expectations. 
 He had either been promised a new excursion 
 to which he could look forward, or he expected 
 to meet her, as if by chance, at dinner-time, 
 and then propose another. His step grew 
 brisk, his appetite good, and all difficulties 
 seemed surmountable. Now he went about 
 whistling, whether he was going into the town 
 or home. 
 
 And he never noticed that the young girl 
 was always like one walking in her sleep, and 
 that she often interrupted with questions that 
 had nothing whatever to do with the subject 
 on which he was discoursing.
 
 EVERY time Astrid left home, she had a 
 vague feeling that Holth could give her good 
 advice ; but no sooner was she beside him than 
 she felt it impossible. To no one in the world, 
 not even to him, could she venture to speak 
 about this. 
 
 She tried to laugh at the suspicion that had 
 taken root within Iier when she was dancing 
 with the general; but it fitted in so much too 
 well with various insinuations of her father, 
 and she now always had it in her mind. 
 
 If there were any truth in it, it would make 
 the gulf between herself and Reidar doubly 
 deep. It was bad enough that the general had 
 ruined her father's career; but now after this 
 to go up to the old man and say, "I love that 
 man's son? Never! She could never do it!" 
 
 Her mother's portrait still hung in her 
 room, and at one moment she felt she would 
 like to turn its face to the wall, at another to 
 speak in her defense. This dead woman had 
 
 187
 
 188 Life 
 
 latterly seemed so near her; she had become 
 her inward voice, upon which she relied. But 
 now it was as if she herself had a share in her 
 wrong-doing; and when, at meals, she met her 
 father's red-rimmed eyes, she hung her head 
 as if in shame. 
 
 Inga Bang was in earnest about coming as 
 maid-servant, but Astrid, when she came, was 
 so obstinate in her refusal to allow it that Inga 
 was quite offended when she went away. 
 "Well," thought Astrid, "I suppose I've 
 broken with the whole family, so that's all 
 settled and done with." 
 
 Hot July came, and people began to go into 
 the country, and the old captain indulged in a 
 little holiday. He smoked an extra pipe, sit- 
 ting with a map spread out before him, on 
 which he followed the manoeuvres as the papers 
 described them. The pins he moved back- 
 wards and forwards were soldiers. But sud- 
 denly he would push it all away, and spring 
 up, saying: "Nonsense! There's no use in it 
 now!" And he would pace the floor for hours. 
 
 Astrid sat with him during the afternoon 
 with her sewing, and beneath her downcast
 
 Life 189 
 
 lids there swarmed a whole world of fancies. 
 
 "We're you fond of him, mother that other 
 one? Couldn't you help being fond of him?" 
 And in her thoughts she went with this mother 
 to an unlawful tryst; but, strange to say, it 
 was Reidar who came. 
 
 A little later she raised her eyes to look at 
 her father as he paced the floor. He might 
 live for another twenty years and she would 
 have to go on living the same life as now, and 
 afterwards end it, she supposed, in the poor- 
 house. 
 
 The only brightness in her life now was her 
 meeting with Holth, but often when she left 
 home she tried to imagine that it was Reidar 
 who was waiting for her. Her work had to 
 be done both at the office and at home, but she 
 lived in a kind of twilight in which dream and 
 reality so easily mingled. In the kitchen she 
 often cheered herself with the thought, "I 
 shall meet him again this evening"; and she 
 would dress and even put a little powder on 
 her hands, and then when she saw him why 
 it was Holth ! 
 
 After a long absence, her brother one day
 
 190 Life 
 
 knocked at the door when the old man was 
 taking his afternoon nap. When the much 
 worn macintosh was removed, it appeared that 
 he had neither waistcoat nor jacket. He was 
 unshaven and dirty, wore some wrecks of shoes 
 upon his feet, and smelt strongly of spirits. 
 
 "Don't look at me like that, confound you! 
 Tjn in full dress in my own fashion, and am 
 quite comfortable. How are all my rela- 
 tions?" 
 
 "Hush! Don't talk so loud! Where have 
 you been since last you were here?" She could 
 not take her eyes from him, and involuntarily 
 felt for something on which to lean. 
 
 "Shall I go?" he said harshly, when he saw 
 the impression he made upon her. 
 
 "No, no! You shall have something to eat. 
 But for goodness sake be careful that he 
 doesn't hear you!" 
 
 The young man swallowed the food greed- 
 ily. His long, reddish hair fell over his fore- 
 head, and there were blue rings round his eyes. 
 She had given up scolding, beseeching, and 
 helping him long ago. 
 
 "And the old man? He must be as com-
 
 Life 191 
 
 fortable as an egg in its shell, now that I'm 
 out of sight." 
 
 "He's been going out so much lately, and 
 I think that secretly he's looking for you." 
 
 "Ha, ha, ha! That's a good one! But I 
 say, do you still hold little conversations with 
 mother? What has she been saying to you 
 lately?" 
 
 Astrid turned her head away and made no 
 answer. 
 
 "Do you believe the souls of the dead some- 
 times mix with the living? How is it, for in- 
 stance, that in many things you're so like 
 mother? Do you remember anything about 
 her?" 
 
 "Oh, yes !"^ 
 
 "Do you remember the last time we were 
 with her how she took us by the hand and 
 smiled?" 
 
 In a little while Astrid answered in a low 
 voice: "That's just the thing I remember best 
 about her." 
 
 "Well, isn't it strange that you've got ex- 
 actly the same smile ? And the way she moved 
 her first finger when she held out her hand to
 
 192 Life 
 
 me, I've since seen in you. How do you ex- 
 plain that?" 
 
 Astrid closed her eyes and smiled, and with- 
 out knowing it moved the first finger of one 
 hand. 
 
 "Really and truly, old girl, do you know 
 how mother ended her days?" 
 
 Astrid opened her eyes. "Now, Ivar," she 
 said. "You asked me that question some time 
 ago. What is it you're fancying?" 
 [ "Fancying! I know it! But we wanted to 
 spare you!" 
 
 Her eyes grew large, and she involuntarily 
 drew a step nearer. "What! What do you 
 mean?" 
 
 Her brother put down his spoon and wiped 
 his mouth with his hand, "Well, as I'm going 
 on a long journey and am not going to take a 
 return ticket, you may as well hear it. You 
 know mother was from Nordland?" 
 
 "Yes, of course I know that." 
 
 "A sea-bird or a bit of wind and storm I 
 And then to be chained to father! She was 
 out sailing when she ought to have been darn- 
 ing stockings, took air-baths in the coldest
 
 Life 193 
 
 north wind, and played the flute when he 
 whimpered about his small income. Once she 
 knelt at the window worshipping the sun, 
 while other people were going to church." 
 
 Astrid leaned against the kitchen dresser 
 again and closed her eyes. Had she heard this 
 before, or dreamt it, or had a desire to do just 
 the same herself? 
 
 "How do you know this?" 
 
 "From a bankrupt merchant on the west 
 coast, w r ho was once a friend of hers, but after- 
 wards got into prison. A splendid fellow!" 
 
 "And didn't she die of inflammation of the 
 lungs?" asked Astrid, again opening her eyes. 
 
 "Not she except officially. There was an 
 illicit love affair, too. The old 'un managed 
 to stifle her soul, but there was a little sinful 
 capacity for adoration left. It ended with her 
 trying to make away with herself when out 
 sailing; but she was dragged ashore and went 
 to bed, and it appeared that that she that 
 she was in the family way, as people had been 
 saying already. Shall I go on?" 
 
 Without answering, Astrid went to the little
 
 194 Life 
 
 window; but though she gazed out, it was her 
 mother that she saw. 
 
 "Well, good-bye! Next time I come I'll go 
 in and have a farewell settling-up with him. 
 And just take care he doesn't ruin you, too. 
 A wise man in the East End has said that 
 certain people cast poisonous shadows. Good- 
 bye!" 
 
 Astrid heard him go, but still stood motion- 
 less with closed eyes. She was living through 
 it with her mother. And once more it seemed 
 to her that she had heard it before or dreamt 
 it, or wished to experience it. She passed her 
 hand across her forehead as if to rouse herself. 
 Her mother's fate was like a whirlpool into 
 which she was gazing, and she felt as if she 
 must cling tightly to something so as not to be 
 carried away. 
 
 The next time Holth saw her coming, he 
 thought how pale she looked, and said he hoped 
 she was not working too hard in this hot 
 weather. 
 
 "I?" she said. "No, I'm taking it quite 
 easy now. But today I hunted up an old flute 
 of mother's, and when father began complain-
 
 Life 195 
 
 ing about expenses, tried to play it. But, by 
 the way, couldn't you manage to get a boat, 
 so that we could go on the water for a change?" 
 
 "Why, of course! That would be easy 
 enough. My friend Reidar Bang has several." 
 
 Astrid involuntarily stood still and dropped 
 her eyes. "Oh, has he? But whatever you do, 
 don't tell him it's for me." 
 
 "No, of course not! You may be quite sure 
 of that." 
 
 For that matter it was only delightful that 
 it should be one of Reidar's boats ; and the first 
 time she was setting out for a sail, she was once 
 more almost sure it was Reidar who was com- 
 ing. 
 
 It was an evening when there was a windy- 
 grey fjord and an overclouded sky. The sails 
 filled, and she lay in the bottom of the boat 
 and felt she would like to stroke its sides. It 
 rocked her so gently, and bore her as if in a 
 pair of strong arms. 
 
 The wind went down, and they lay motion- 
 less with flapping sails. Holth began to tell 
 her stories again, and she was carried away by 
 the variety of images; but nevertheless she
 
 196 Life 
 
 said to herself; "I'm sure Reidar is better at 
 telling stories." His voice was just as good, 
 and his hair was not turning grey. No, he 
 was the hero coming through the air on skis, 
 a form of splendid strength, having kinship 
 with the moorland and the light. And yet it 
 was she that he loved! Was he suffering 
 now? Should she write to him? She laid her 
 cheek against the side of the boat. There sat 
 Holth, who was something like him. Perhaps 
 his clothes had touched Reidar's this very day. 
 She felt she would like to go and stroke his 
 sleeves with her hand. Then she cunningly 
 turned the conversation as to say something 
 bad about Reidar; and when Holth defended 
 him, felt inclined to kiss him for speaking well 
 of the man she loved. 
 
 It was not easy to be Jorgen Holth and sif 
 there quietly while the girl lay so carelessly a 
 few feet from him; but he had always been 
 careful, and it was essential that he should not 
 frighten her and so upset everything. And, 
 besides, what did he want? 
 
 Sometimes when he was standing talking to 
 his wife at home, he could not help thinking
 
 Life 197 
 
 of the other's young face, and he would invol- 
 untarily brighten up, so that Selma could not 
 help smiling, too. He would kiss her, and 
 imagine to himself that it was the girl he was 
 kissing, and the kiss would be so passionate 
 that the no longer young woman was quite 
 confused. While she sat sewing and patching, 
 he would come and tell her something so beau- 
 tiful that she could remember nothing like it 
 since the time they were engaged. But then, 
 too, he would sometimes spring up and go 
 away ashamed, saying to himself: "Confound 
 you ! You're making use of your own wife to 
 rehearse upon for the other!" 
 
 Jorgen Holth began to lead a different life 
 now. He had hitherto been an insatiable 
 newspaper-reader, and now he considered the 
 papers something quite unnecessary. "All 
 that vile stuff shut out both the sun and the 
 stars from me when I was young," he said to 
 himself. "And I've had enough of it." On 
 the other hand he became a particular man, 
 who took a daily bath and rub-down, and al- 
 ways wore clean linen. He felt as if two
 
 198 Life 
 
 young eyes were always fixed upon him, and 
 they must not be disappointed. 
 
 One day when he saw his wife busy pressing 
 his trousers, he was strangely moved. "My 
 dear!" he said, putting his arm round her 
 waist. "You ought to let the maid do that.'* 
 
 "You wouldn't care to put them on if I 
 did!" 
 
 He kissed her affectionately, but at the 
 same moment thought of the far-off possibility 
 that some day his trousers might be pressed by 
 other hands. 
 
 In the meantime he had managed to get 
 together money to send his wife and children 
 into the country, and when he put it into 
 Selma's hand, her eyes grew moist with grati- 
 tude. She knew what it must have cost him. 
 There was great rejoicing, too, among the 
 children, and that night Jorgen Holth went to 
 bed with the feelings of a father worshipped 
 by wife and children. 
 
 The good spirits in which he always came 
 home now began to exert a peculiar influence 
 upon his wife. She was not quite so tired as 
 before, she began to keep the house in better
 
 Life 199 
 
 order, she found time to dress her hair, and 
 put on a pretty blouse for dinner, and she even 
 now and then sat down at the piano and tried 
 to freshen up her youthful accomplishments. 
 
 "There's Jorgen," she said to herself, 
 "working and toiling from morning to night, 
 and I do nothing to make things comfortable 
 for him." 
 
 He took care not to mention Astrid's name 
 at home, but when his thoughts of her grew 
 too real, he would often put his arm round his 
 wife's waist, and talk about the brightness and 
 wealth of life. 
 
 A few days before they were going into the 
 country, Fru Holth was sitting in the chil- 
 dren's room after they had gone to bed. She 
 was fighting a strange battle. She wanted to 
 present her husband with a costly gift, because 
 he had been so good to her; but the gift must 
 unfortunately come from the children as well 
 as herself. There was complaining and whim- 
 pering over little shattered childish dreams, 
 but their mother would not give it, and grew 
 more and more eloquent, although tears were 
 running down her own cheeks, too.
 
 200 Life 
 
 The next day, when Holth sat down at the 
 dinner-table, little Susanna came up to him 
 and gave him an envelope, saying as she did 
 so: "We don't want to go into the country, 
 father. You have so little money, and we can 
 go another time." 
 
 "What nonsense is this?" he said, lifting his 
 head and looking at them all. Selma's face 
 was radiant, and the children smiled a little 
 shyly, and at last he understood. And he re- 
 membered how on the way home he had been 
 wondering how he could .manage to make some 
 sort of present to Astrid Riis. And now here 
 was the money! The envelope began to trem- 
 ble in his hand, and a lump rose in his throat. 
 He kissed the little girl, and said thank you; 
 but to himself he said: "Of course, they shall 
 go to the country! I'll give the money to 
 Selma this evening." 
 
 That day he was going to meet Astrid, and 
 before he left home he sat for a long time in 
 his study with his head in his hands, engaged 
 in an inward struggle. "I won't! I won't! 
 I'll stay at home with Selma and the children." 
 
 But when the time came, his feet carried him 
 away.
 
 XI 
 
 ASTRID Rus stood upon the Pipervik quay, 
 watching Reidar's boat come sailing in from 
 Bygdo. She knew perfectly well that it was 
 Holth, but today she was too sad to acknowl- 
 edge it to herself. No, it was, it must be Rei- 
 dar, and they were going out together. 
 
 Sometimes she would question to herself the 
 advisability of going about so much with a 
 married man, but always answered with a cer- 
 tain amount of bitterness: "Oh, of course I 
 ought to give this up, too!" Her meetings 
 with him were now her only pleasure, and had 
 lately acquired a new attraction from the fact 
 that she could stand and see Reidar's boat 
 come in, and imagine it was he. She did not 
 know Fru Holth, and by a mutual instinct she 
 was never named between them. 
 
 The boat soon shot out of the harbour, and 
 as usual she lay down at the bottom and gazed 
 up into the sky. It was so easy there to fall 
 
 into the hazy condition in which dream and 
 
 201
 
 202 Life 
 
 reality mingled. At one moment she was her 
 mother addressing her petitions to the sun, and 
 at another was with Reidar, bathing from an 
 island out in the sea, lying in the warm sand 
 and letting the wind dry their skin, and then 
 creeping into white linen that smelt of sun and 
 wind, and sitting close together with the sky 
 stretching in a wide arch over sea and land. 
 
 Had she dreamt it last night? Would it 
 ever happen to her? 
 
 It was at the beginning of August, and the 
 fjord, and hills around, lay in a pale blue twi- 
 light, while a long, fiery yellow bank of cloud 
 lay in the western sky. All round them the 
 water was churned up by little steamers and 
 sailing-boats, and now and then they heard 
 the regular beat of a motor-boat. 
 
 Holth today was shaken with strong emo- 
 tion as he thought of those he had left at home ; 
 and at the same time every movement that the 
 girl made set his nerves quivering. 
 
 "I say," she said, "was Reidar Bang as stu- 
 pid at school as he is now?" 
 
 "She's always making hits at Reidar," 
 thought Holth. "I wonder what there's been
 
 Life 203 
 
 between those two!" Aloud he spoke in Rei- 
 dar's defense. "Stupid? Reidar? No, in- 
 deed 1 He's shown that well enough since." 
 Then out came her head from under the sail, 
 and she looked at him with a peculiar smile. 
 
 The wind soon fell completely, and the fjord 
 became almost white as the twilight deepened. 
 
 "How beautiful it is!" she said. 
 
 It was a relief to Holth under the pressure 
 of this unrest to begin to talk, and his voice 
 was full of feeling and warmth. 
 
 "Yes, it is beautiful, and the darkness, 
 thank goodness, doesn't fall so suddenly as it 
 does farther south. I love our long northern 
 twilight, when men turn their faces towards 
 the sky and feel that the day is dying. I can 
 remember, too, how as a goatherd on the 
 mountains, I would sometimes wake with my 
 head against a sleeping cow, and see the dawn 
 breaking in the clouds. Other clouds came up 
 and blotted it out, but it fought on, established 
 itself in another quarter, poured its creamy 
 light over more and more clouds which tried 
 to shake it off, and at last all over the sky and
 
 204 Life 
 
 then over the earth. It was like a long, pain- 
 ful birth that ended in joy." 
 
 He stopped and listened, and she moved her 
 hand as if stroking the boat. Then he began 
 again : 
 
 "Do you know, Froken Riis, that your gen- 
 eration has much clearer eyes to see what is 
 beautiful than mine? We grew up with Zola 
 and Ibsen, and the truth we were taught to 
 worship was uncomfortable and painful. Now 
 it seems wonderful to me that then, too, the 
 apple-trees and lilacs stood full of blossom 
 every single year; but there wasn't a green 
 leaf to be found in all the abstract questions 
 we young people went about with. It's only 
 lately yes, fancy that I should one day wake 
 up and see that the earth is beautiful!" He 
 turned his face towards the yellow strip in the 
 west and drew a deep breath as if to breathe 
 in something from the sleeping evening. 
 
 "Have you never gone in for sport ski-mg 
 or riding?" 
 
 After a pause he went on as before: 
 
 "Yes, I remember when I was a tutor in 
 Toten, I was riding one evening through
 
 Life 205 
 
 wooded country on a blood-red horse. I can 
 still see the fiery yellow sky above the black 
 hills. The corn was standing on stakes and 
 gave out a moldy smell. When I dismounted 
 to open a gate, the damp wood made my hands 
 cold, and when the gate swung to, the wooden 
 latch gave out a sodden sound. I passed a 
 lonely house whose windows were aflame, and 
 by the wayside stood a woman with a sieve 
 under her arm, shading her eyes with her hand 
 as she looked at me. At last I came out right 
 up on a hill, with Lake Mjosen flaming red in 
 the darkness below me. I remember the horse 
 stopped dead and reared, as if the fjord below 
 were something bloody. Out on a large field 
 I saw a ploughman who whistled as he unhar- 
 nessed his horses; and the solitary sound 
 seemed to me at the moment to be the song of 
 the twilight itself." 
 
 After a little he added : "You must forgive 
 me for sitting here and talking like this, but 
 just now I'm living my youth over again, and 
 much that then passed witEout leaving any 
 impression now appears to me both rich and 
 beautiful. That's what comes of being in the
 
 206 Life 
 
 company of a young woman. It not only 
 awakens bright hopes, but it also gilds one's 
 recollections." 
 
 He ventured warily on this advance, and 
 she once more stroked the side of the boat with 
 her hand. A large steamer with coloured 
 lights at the masthead was coming along one 
 of those floating palaces, whose inhabitants 
 could fill a town. The enormous shadow drew 
 nearer with a wave of form in front, and then 
 glided past, high, heavy, with long rows of 
 lighted windows, and several decks covered 
 with summer-clad travellers, who gazed at the 
 little vessels down on the dark fjord. Then it 
 had passed, and their little boat was tossing up 
 and down on the waves it had raised, while the 
 steamer itself ploughed its way along, under 
 clouds of smoke, in towards the confusion and 
 light of the town. They two in their little boat 
 were as nothing compared to this monster, and 
 for a moment they sat silently looking at one 
 another, left alone together in the dark. 
 
 "There were a great many English there," 
 said Astrid, as she wiped a splash of water 
 from her face with her handkerchief.
 
 Life 207 
 
 "Yes; and many of them will go home en- 
 gaged." 
 
 A little later they had drifted up under an 
 island, where a beam of light fell from a house 
 on to the water; and as they sat there, a door 
 opened on to a balcony, and a woman in white 
 came out and leaning on the balustrade looked 
 out. At last she caught sight of the boat, and 
 called timidly, in a low voice: "Is that you, 
 Herman?" In a little while she said again: 
 "Herman! Is that you?" 
 
 "No!" said Holth, laughing, and the woman 
 quickly withdrew. 
 
 Astrid laughed, too, and threw herself down. 
 
 "I don't suppose it was her husband," said 
 Holth. 
 
 "Don't you think so?" For a moment they 
 pictured to themselves a love-story, and both 
 felt a desire to draw closer together. It was 
 quite dark now, and above the yellow strip in 
 the west rose a steely sky overstrewn with 
 stars. Holth began to talk again, but his 
 voice shook and he steadied his elbows on his 
 knees, his chin in his hands. 
 
 "What a lot of love-making will be going
 
 208 Life 
 
 on just now all over the country! I can im- 
 agine a young couple who have stolen out 
 from a hydro in a boat, or two who have to 
 row across a mountain lake, but forget the 
 oars, or who go along a path from one sseter 
 to another and think they must rest a little. 
 That steamer now was probably bringing 
 young people up to hotels and hunting-cot- 
 tages in the mountains ; and what do you think 
 they will have experienced before they go 
 back? Why, you may be sure the little invisi- 
 ble god will play tricks with most of them, 
 either in a wood, or on an island far out, or in 
 a solitary boat on the water. Then they'll sep- 
 arate and perhaps never see one another again, 
 and the remembrance will be a secret comfort 
 to them both through the years to come, even 
 when one is the mother of a family and the 
 other a husband." 
 
 "How lovely it would be to get into the 
 country for a little!" sighed Astrid. 
 
 "Yes, we can't get away, either you or I." 
 And for a moment they were united in a com- 
 mon poverty, and there was a long silence. 
 Then he began again.
 
 Life 209 
 
 "I often fancy I can see the little boat rock- 
 ing upon the lake one moonlight evening, in 
 which a young man is rowing a girl across. 
 There is a scent of hay and ripe fruit wafted 
 from the shore, and he stops rowing to breathe 
 in the perfume of her dress and warm skin. 
 And what happens? Something happens, and 
 when they go up the hill on the other side, they 
 turn and take one another by the hand, look 
 back at the lake and send it a farewell kiss. 
 In another moment they are gone, and the 
 lake once more lies like a mirror of love, wait- 
 ing for the next. The years pass, those two 
 grow old, and they die with the Little secret in 
 their hearts." 
 
 Astrid closed her eyes; she could see it all; 
 and her mother seemed to agree so fully. 
 "Where are we?" she asked in a little while. 
 
 "We're near Robinson's Island, where no- 
 body lives. Have you seen it in starlight?" 
 
 She did not answer, but drew a deep breath 
 and lay back again. The darkness seemed so 
 warm and heavy; they were far from other 
 boats, and they had drifted up under the little 
 uninhabited island. Holth began to row in
 
 210 Life 
 
 strange excitement. Whither? Towards the 
 Island. He only heard his heart beating, and 
 thought he heard hers, too. The boat touched 
 the beach and he leaped out and drew it up. 
 "What is it?" she asked, half dazed. Without 
 answering he gave her his hand, and she took 
 it and sprang ashore. As they went up 
 through the soft sand, they saw their shadows 
 in front of them and involuntarily turned and 
 stood facing the yellow, shining bank of cloud 
 in the west. 
 
 "That's you and I," he said when they went 
 on again, pointing to their shadows. 
 
 She tried to laugh. "Yes, it's we two, but 
 it might just as well be others." 
 
 "How wonderful it is to be wandering here 
 with a young, beautiful woman, and that I 
 I should be doing it!" And he took her 
 hand. 
 
 She stood still as if to listen. Was it his 
 voice, or another's? There was love now all 
 over the land, but she would never have a love- 
 tale of her own she who would end her days 
 in the poorhouse. 
 
 "Let's sit down here," he said, and looking
 
 Life 211 
 
 round she sat down and lay back in the soft 
 heather and sand, with her hands behind her 
 head, looking up at the stars. Oh, if it were 
 Reidar who was here! Why, of course it was 
 he ! They were out on the island and had 
 bathed and dressed in fresh-smelling, clean 
 linen, and were going to sit there together. 
 And she closed her eyes and saw it all so 
 vividly. 
 
 She felt a face approaching hers, a breath, 
 heard a hymn of love, many sweet words. It 
 was it must be Reidar. She could hear the 
 waves breaking on the shore where they had 
 bathed. Now she felt kisses, and involuntarily 
 threw her arms about his neck, holding him 
 tight, in fear that it might not be he. 
 
 Another tourist-steamer ploughed its way 
 past with all its lights, and its waves washed 
 in foaming ridges in towards the island. 
 
 When Holth, late that night, approached 
 his house, he saw lights in the windows, and 
 wondered why Selma was still up. He was 
 intoxicated with joy. A wonder had hap- 
 pened. Was it true? Had he triumphed? 
 He?
 
 212 Life 
 
 On the way upstairs he stopped and put his 
 hand to his forehead. As a man of honour, 
 there was only one thing for him to do now. 
 What had hitherto appeared as a far-off rosy 
 dream, had now become a necessity; he must 
 obtain a divorce. He could not desert the 
 young girl; he must marry her. It would be 
 hard to tear himself away from those in the 
 house here, but he would have to bear that. 
 He even felt that he could talk to Selma about 
 it now. 
 
 She came to the door herself. "You are late, 
 poor thing," she said. "Have you been lectur- 
 ing again, or taking extra lessons?" 
 
 "Why are you sitting up so late?" he asked, 
 trying to avoid her arm, which she put about 
 his shoulders. 
 
 "Oh, it's because of Susanna, who was taken 
 suddenly ill. But don't you trouble about it. 
 Go to bed, and I'll sit up alone." 
 
 "What do you say?" And he hurried into 
 the nursery. A night light burnt beside the 
 low bed. The other children were asleep, but 
 little Susanna lay flushed and hot, turning 
 over restlessly.
 
 Life 213 
 
 "D'ink!" she murmured. "D'ink, mother!" 
 
 "Yes, you shall have a drink directly." And 
 she brought the child a fresh supply of water. 
 
 "We must fetch a doctor," said Holth. He 
 wanted to go out again. 
 
 "He's been. He was afraid it might be in- 
 flammation of the lungs." 
 
 Holth did not go to bed. The little girl was 
 in a high fever and delirious, and kept trying 
 to get up. Her mother walked up and down 
 with her, and Holth had to relieve her; and 
 while she went backwards and forwards with 
 the moaning child in her arms, he thought of 
 the first time he had gone to meet Astrid by 
 appointment, and had unclasped the little 
 hands clinging round his knees. 
 
 "And now you're to have a divorce," said an 
 inward voice. "You're so happy, you know. 
 It's been a wonderful evening you've had." 
 "Yes, yes!" his heart cried in answer. "I 
 wouldn't exchange it for anything in the 
 world." And thoughts of Astrid crowded in 
 Upon him, making him forget his poor home 
 and the sick child, and filled him with a joy so 
 intense, so painful, and so strangely beautiful,
 
 214 Life 
 
 that he nearly let the child slip out of his arms. 
 Then he awoke, and looked anxiously at Su- 
 sanna, who felt safe in his strong arms, and 
 turned her face towards him as she settled 
 down to sleep. 
 
 "Father," she murmured sleepily. "Are we 
 going to the country tomorrow?" 
 
 "Yes, yes, dear. Go to sleep now. We're 
 going to the country tomorrow." 
 
 The night passed, and Selma took his place 
 again, while he went into his study and threw 
 himself on the sofa. Suppose the child were 
 to die today, would he nevertheless go this 
 evening to meet her the other one as they 
 had arranged? 
 
 "Yes!" he cried wildly and in desperation. 
 "Yes ! It is to her I now belong, and nothing 
 in the world shall tear me from her!" But he 
 groaned, his mind was in a whirl; he wanted to 
 call for help, and yet did not want to be saved. 
 
 The day passed in taking turns in carrying 
 the sick child up and down the room, and the 
 doctor came again. Towards evening Holth 
 tottered into his room to change his clothes and
 
 Life 215 
 
 shave, for he meant to go out. He told Selma 
 he was going to fetch another doctor. 
 
 While he stood at the glass, scraping the 
 soap off his face, he could hear his wife walk- 
 ing up and^lown with the little one, and try- 
 ing to sing, although her voice was worn and 
 hoarse : 
 
 "Pussy sat spinning tinder the stove, 
 When mousey came out of her hole." 
 
 At last he was ready, hut just as he had left 
 the room on his way to the door, he met the 
 eldest boy in the passage with a letter for him. 
 
 He knew her handwriting and went into the 
 study to read it. His heart trembled ; the little 
 piece of paper breathed love, and he kissed it 
 with a smile. But when he opened it, it was 
 to read: 
 Dear Mr. Holth: 
 
 I am not coming this evening, nor tomor- 
 row, nor any other time. If only I had not 
 gone yesterday! Perhaps I shall get through 
 these days, too, but God help me! 
 
 I forbid you to meet me any more. 
 t Yours truly, 
 
 Astrid Riis.
 
 216 t Life 
 
 Holth stared before him with fixed gaze, 
 then crushed the paper between his hands, and 
 let his head sink upon his breast. Then he 
 threw himself upon the sofa, turned his face 
 to the wall and closed his eyes. And as he did 
 so, he heard again, to the accompaniment of 
 tired footsteps: 
 
 "Pussy sat spinning under the stove, 
 When mousey came out of her hole. 
 Tra la la la, tra la la."
 
 XII 
 
 THE house on Bygdo was quiet while Rei- 
 dar Bang lay and smoked a cigar after dinner. 
 All the other members of his family were on 
 the mountains, but he had not time to go away, 
 for just now he was engaged in a big specula- 
 tion in metal-deposits, and often sat working, 
 or at meetings, until far on in the night. To- 
 day he had been for a good hard ride and had 
 then had a swim, after which both his dinner 
 and the rest after it were very enjoyable. 
 
 This ceaseless work helped him to forget 
 that in reality he was not happy. This was 
 not, of course, on account of a girl. No, it was 
 something invisible that was always stealing 
 about him and trying to rob him of his sleep 
 and of his power to work, and make him weak 
 and discouraged. The same desire to scorn a 
 sorrow that had made him, on Midsummer 
 Eve, set light to that bonfire, now kept him 
 continually at work with the one object of set- 
 ting his foot upon the invisible evil. 
 
 217
 
 218 Life 
 
 The verandah door stood open, and the 
 awning fluttered in a light breeze from the 
 fjord. A brown gordon setter came stealing 
 in and licked his master's hand; but when he 
 did not obtain so much as a look in answer, he 
 curled up on the floor with his nose upon his 
 hind legs. 
 
 "If that fly gets to the top of the pane with- 
 out flying away," said Reidar to himself, "I'll 
 send her a letter this evening." But suddenly 
 he turned over quickly and tried to sleep. He 
 remembered how often he had got up in the 
 middle of the night to write a letter, which he 
 always tore up as soon as it was written. 
 
 A step sounded on the verandah. A woman's 
 step? He sprang up. Was he not always ex- 
 pecting something? But the dog ran out with 
 a bark of joy, and in another moment Inga 
 stood in the doorway with the dog's fore-paws 
 resting on her hips. 
 
 "Oh, is it you?" he said, passing his hand 
 across his forehead. "Are you in town?" 
 
 "Why, of course, I had to come in and see 
 whether Henrik was alive. He isn't going to 
 have any holiday, poor fellow. And just
 
 Life 219 
 
 fancy! In his spare time he's made all the 
 drawing-room furniture!" 
 
 "Would you like some strawberries and 
 cream?" 
 
 "Yes, thank you." 
 
 The young girl was as brown as a Red In- 
 'dian, and her eyes beamed with health and 
 good spirits ; and she attacked the strawberries, 
 when they came, with voracity. 
 
 "So your young man's building your nest, 
 is he? That must be jolly." Reidar was sit- 
 ting in his shirt-sleeves, with his chin sup- 
 ported in his hands. 
 
 "Yes, and do you know but it's a secret, 
 let me ask you to remember in the autumn, 
 before we get married, he has decided to leave 
 the place he's in now, and start business on his 
 own account. And you mustn't think he'll 
 take a farthing from either father or you. 
 He's going to manage it all by himself. And 
 if he doesn't get any houses to build, it'll be 
 terribly exciting." And she went on to tell 
 him of their life on the mountains, about her 
 father, who had begun writing a book on the 
 Franco- German War, her mother, who was
 
 220 Life 
 
 weaving, and Fru Ramm, who was looking 
 after the children. 
 
 "Have you seen any one else in town?" 
 asked Reidar vaguely. 
 
 "I caught a glimpse of Astrid Riis with a 
 basket on her arm, but you needn't think I'd 
 go up to her after the way she treated me the 
 last time we were together. Do you know 
 what they're saying about her now? It's only 
 a story, of course " 
 
 "What are they saying?" Reidar suddenly 
 stood up. 
 
 "Nothing," said his sister evasively. "The 
 strawberries were delicious," she went on, as 
 she pushed away the empty plate. 
 
 "No, I say, you must tell me. What have 
 you heard?" He was giving himself away 
 beautifully, only his youngest sister had al- 
 ready guessed it long ago. 
 
 "Well, I must be off again," she said, get- 
 ting up. "I'm going by the five o'clock train." 
 
 But Reidar put his hands upon her shoul- 
 ders and held her firmly. "Out with it ! What 
 have you heard?" 
 
 The young girl laughed up into his face.
 
 Life 221 
 
 "Do you think you'll get anything out of me 
 in that way? What have I heard? Nothing, 
 my dear boy. It was only my nonsense. Will 
 you let me go now, you wicked ogre? Now, 
 good-bye, and mind you eat a little, for you're 
 on the way to become a skeleton ; but I won't 
 tell mother that. Now, let me go! Good- 
 bye!" As she went out, she turned and her 
 white teeth gleamed in a smile as she added: 
 "You shouldn't trouble yourself about people 
 who don't deserve it, Reidar. You should be 
 above that. Good-bye! Shall I give them 
 your love at home?" 
 
 Reidar stood looking at nothing in particu- 
 lar, and forgot to see her out. 
 
 That night again he got out of bed to write, 
 but his writing became illegible, and the con- 
 tents of the letter confused ; and when the sun 
 peeped in at the window, he was still sitting 
 in his night-shirt with his elbows on the writ- 
 ing-table. 
 
 A few evenings later, after he had gone to 
 bed, he heard a familiar voice beneath his win- 
 dow, calling, "Hullo, old fellow! Are you 
 asleep?"
 
 222 Life 
 
 When he went to the open window, he saw 
 Paul Tangen standing in the garden. 
 
 "Why, bless me, are you in town, too? I'll 
 come down and open the door." 
 
 He padded down on his bare feet, and 
 brought his friend up to his bedroom. 
 
 "By-the-bye," said Reidar, as he began to 
 draw on his trousers; "the first thing I owe 
 you is a sound flogging." 
 
 "No, really?" said Tangen, seating himself 
 in a comfortable chair, and beginning to fill 
 his pipe. 
 
 "Yes, when I heard that you'd let all your 
 goods and chattels be sold by auction like any 
 bankrupt, without so much as giving me warn- 
 ing, I felt inclined to come after you and give 
 you a thrashing. You don't know, perhaps, 
 that it's a reflection on us who are your 
 friends?" 
 
 "My dear fellow," the painter lighted his 
 pipe and blew out the match "if you ever get 
 put up for auction, I'm scarcely likely to be 
 able to rescue you. Perhaps you'd have gone 
 to my auction and bought my nicest things,
 
 Life 223 
 
 and I should have met them again here in your 
 rooms. No, thank you!' 
 
 "I could have lent you the money you 
 wanted, of course." Reidar had got into his 
 dressing-gown, and was walking up and down 
 exictedly. 
 
 "And from that day the painter was to have 
 lived like a parasite upon his rich friend. 
 Thank you kindly! One reads of such things 
 in novels. And now I propose that we talk 
 of something else. How are you ? How many 
 of your rivals have you got rid of lately?" 
 
 "Oh, bother!" Reidar sat down and lighted 
 a cigarette. 
 
 "You look well!" said Tangen, taking care 
 not to smile. He was almost appalled at the 
 sight of his friend's face, which was changed 
 into bone and hard lines. 
 
 "Tell me a little about what you're doing 
 out in the country. Do you really mean to 
 bury yourself there for ever and a day?" 
 
 "It's splendid to live in the country. You 
 become so honest towards yourself. Fate saw 
 that I was in want of a header, and there I 
 am, sunning myself day after day, in punish-
 
 224 Life 
 
 ment and retribution. No flirtations ; no great 
 man's whims. I was positively on the way to 
 become a superficial and make-believe artist; 
 but now I'm getting the dust out of my eyes 
 and becoming able to see originality again. 
 Things such as a little ragged urchin, a load 
 of hay, or a tethered horse, not to mention a 
 birch or pine in a wind, are all of them mys- 
 teries that might give an artist enough to pon- 
 der over for a whole lifetime. But you don't 
 want to hear all this!" 
 
 "And your wife?" 
 
 Tangen got up. "An idyl, my dear boy! 
 Love-making and newly-married nonsense be- 
 tween us from morning till night. Envy me, 
 you wealthy hermit!" 
 
 "Then what are you doing in town?" 
 
 Tangen did not answer at once. He did not 
 want to tell the truth, which was that he was 
 afraid how it might end with Reidar, if things 
 were as he suspected. 
 
 "Well," he said, "I've found a ptarmigan- 
 shoot up in Valdres, and I wanted to come 
 down and tempt you." 
 
 "Haven't time now. And I'm not well,
 
 Life 225 
 
 either." Reidar looked at his brown dog, 
 which sat gazing at him and moving its tail 
 along the floor, as if it understood what they 
 were talking about. 
 
 "By-the-bye, do you see anything of the 
 schoolmaster?" 
 
 "Holth? No, not much. He's been here 
 two or three times to borrow a boat. I sup- 
 pose it's to take his family on the fjord." 
 
 Tangen looked out of the window and 
 nodded. "Y-yes, of course." But then he 
 began to talk about his new dog, about the 
 splendid shoot in Valdres, about lakes full of 
 trout, about sasters and superstitious old 
 women. Reidar looked as if he were waking 
 up, and at last he sprang np. "What's to- 
 day?" 
 
 "It's the twenty-fifth the day after tomor- 
 row." 
 
 "Then, confound it, take me with you. I'm 
 getting perfectly mouldy here with calcula- 
 tions and want of sleep and all kinds of idio- 
 cies. A taste of mountain air should do one 
 good." And he began to dress, as if he were 
 going to set off at once.
 
 226 Life 
 
 The next morning they were seated in the 
 train to Valdres and towards evening they 
 were walking up a stony mountain road with 
 gun, game-bag, and each his dog on a chain. 
 The wooded hills lay below them, and when 
 they looked back they could just see, far below 
 in the valley, mown hay-fields and yellow corn- 
 fields beside narrow lakes ; and far to the north 
 the blue ranges of Jotunheim with their snowy 
 summits. 
 
 Reidar often sat down, and though he drew 
 deep breaths of enjoyment, and unbuttoned 
 his coat to get the cool wind, Tangen could see 
 how done-up he was, and how the perspiration 
 ran down his forehead. 
 
 "There must have been uncommonly high 
 pressure to put such an engine as that out of 
 gear," he thought. "Upon my word, it was 
 high time to get him away for a little." 
 
 As they walked along side by side over the 
 moor, Reidar suddenly stopped and stood 
 gazing at the ground between the car-ruts. 
 
 "What's that?" he said, looking up at Tan- 
 gen. "That's the third time since we began 
 to climb that I've come upon a cross." And
 
 Life 227 
 
 he pointed down at two twigs, one of which 
 happened to be lying across the other. "You 
 may say what you like, but we shall soon hear 
 of a death." 
 
 "Oh, well, there's always some one or other 
 dying," answered Tangen carelessly. "Oh, 
 you calculating man of iron, do you still culti- 
 vate mysticism?" 
 
 Reidar sat down upon a stone once more, 
 and mechanically patted his dog, which had 
 laid its head upon his knee. Tangen sat down 
 close by, and looked at his friend. "We shall 
 hardly reach our destination by supper-time," 
 he thought. "But never mind!" 
 
 "Mysticism," began Reidar, passing his 
 hand .over his tired face. "As if most things 
 were not inexplicable in this world ! Now you 
 think that an artist is something very ethereal, 
 and that a business-man tramps over the 
 ground in wooden shoes. But suppose I were 
 to tell you of the music of gold and the money- 
 market?" 
 
 "Eh? Music?" 
 
 "Yes, music. The fortunate speculator is 
 not he who calculates best, but he who knows
 
 228 Life 
 
 how to listen. I know a man who has several 
 times risked his whole fortune, but never been 
 nervous, because he was sure he had heard cor- 
 rectly. He is lying one night half asleep, and 
 notices the rustle of corn over the earth, and 
 in men's minds and the exchanges and money- 
 market tables, and he takes a pencil and puts 
 down some figures as a composer would put 
 down his notes. Then comes the moment when 
 he feels he has to strike, and it is like a bow 
 drawn across a violin. A fortnight ago I lay 
 awake, too, and suddenly began to hear the 
 ore sing, Nordland ore, the endless abundance 
 that will soon create towns and enormous busi- 
 nesses. I listened for a while, and then got up 
 and began to go through the papers I have 
 relating to the mines there. I found none of 
 them satisfactory, but the next day a Lapp 
 comes to me and shows me samples. "There it 
 is," I say to myself, and again I hear the 
 strange song. To make sure, I go to the gov- 
 ernment analyst and get an analysis, and it is 
 first-rate. Well, now I'm deep in the matter, 
 and have thrown my whole being into it. What 
 do you say to that?"
 
 Life 229 
 
 Tangen sat looking at him. "I've heard of 
 something like this before," he thought. 
 "When strong men go through a period of 
 excitement, they either go mad or become like 
 him." 
 
 It was dark when they reached a cluster of 
 sasters just visible beside a narrow lake at the 
 foot of a high grey mountain-ridge. Here and 
 there a cowbell sounded from the low cow- 
 sheds, and at one of the cottages Tangen 
 stopped, saying: "Here it is." 
 
 They entered a dimly-lighted room, and saw 
 a fat woman with a rope round her waist, 
 standing at the fire, stirring something in a 
 pot. A long table of planks, a spinning-wheel 
 upon the floor, and cheeses and flat tubs of 
 milk on shelves along the walls, were just dis- 
 cernible ; and the room was filled with a mixed 
 smell of milk, cheese, cooking, bed-clothes, 
 human beings and burning juniper branches. 
 
 The woman knew the artist at once, as he 
 had been there before; and she hastened to 
 light a candle, dry her right hand upon her 
 skirt, and extend it to them in welcome. Half 
 an hour later a meal consisting of thick sour
 
 230 Life 
 
 cream, fried trout, a monster cheese and bread 
 as hard as iron, stood upon the table ; and the 
 sportsmen were as hungry as wolves after 
 their long tramp. 
 
 For sleeping accommodation they were 
 shown a broad bed out in a tiny room, where 
 the tallow candle cast a dim light upon walls 
 papered with old, yellow newspapers. 
 
 The artist went out to look at the weather, 
 and when he came in said: "I can hear the 
 ptarmigan cackling all round about. By to- 
 morrow evening several of them won't have 
 much to say." 
 
 It was almost sad to think of the long pro- 
 cession of sportsmen and dogs that had noisily 
 passed up through the valley. Tomorrow they 
 would be let loose upon the peaceable birds for 
 miles over the mountains, shots would echo 
 from every hill, and many a bleeding wing 
 would beat among the osiers. 
 
 The mattress proved to be fresh hay with a 
 coloured woollen covering laid over it. The 
 tired travellers lay down side by side and soon 
 fell asleep, while the dogs on the floor kicked 
 and whimpered in restless dreams of sport.
 
 Life 231 
 
 Early the next morning, after a cup of 
 coffee, the two men set off across the sseter- 
 enclosure with their pipes in their mouths. A 
 heavy watery sky lay low over mountain and 
 moor, and mirrored its woolly clouds in tarn 
 and lake. Tangen's white setter tumbled 
 about over stock and stone with its black ears 
 turned inside out; and Reidar's dark brown 
 galloped backwards and forwards between the 
 juniper-bushes with its nose to the ground. 
 
 "What sort of a blunderbuss is that you've 
 got there?" growled Reidar contemptuously, 
 when he saw the artist's gun taken out of its 
 case. "Look here !" And he exhibited his new 
 hammerless of the newest model. 
 
 "Take care, old man, that I don't bring 
 down more birds than that does!" answered 
 Tangen gaily, stepping out briskly. 
 
 The heather was so wet that their gaiters 
 were soon shining and dripping, and a cutting 
 wind froze their hands and faces. But who 
 would notice such trifles now! 
 
 "Do you believe in dreams?" asked Reidar, 
 as he puf two cartridges into his gun. 
 
 "I doubt more than I believe," answered the
 
 232 Life 
 
 other, hoping to make his companion tell him 
 more about himself. "Did you dream any- 
 thing special last night?" 
 
 "Pan's got scent of something!" Both men 
 stopped. The brown dog had become very 
 cautious in its movements, its back long and 
 low, and its face wise-looking. The white dog 
 noticed it, and approached with the same cau- 
 tion, though it had evidently not yet caught 
 the scent; and then began that play between 
 two dogs that suspect the presence of game, 
 but do not yet know where it is. Now and 
 then they stood still and sniffed the air, and 
 then went over to each other as if to say: 
 "What do you think?" or "Now take care and 
 don't make a mistake!" The two sportsmen 
 stood ready with their loaded guns, watching 
 anxiously. 
 
 "Wild's got it," exclaimed Tangen, pleased 
 that it was his dog, as the white dog moved 
 right in the face of the wind, its tail waving 
 vigorously. Now it stood still for a moment 
 with head stretched forward, then moved on a 
 few paces, stopped again, quivering with ex- 
 citement, then took another cautious step, and
 
 Life 233 
 
 at last stood motionless with extended tail, 
 looking a little to one side as it raised one fore- 
 foot. 
 
 "Careful now, Wild!" cautioned Tangen, as 
 the two men approached with beating hearts. 
 
 "There's Pan standing, too!" said Reidar. 
 "It's a big covey." 
 
 But it was the first day, and the birds kept 
 close, so that the dogs had to be made to ad- 
 vance again and again. The birds must have 
 hidden themselves behind some large juniper 
 bushes, for look as they would they could not 
 discover a feather. 
 
 "Forward, Wild! Careful!" The white 
 dog advanced a couple of steps, but then lay 
 down trembling with anxiety lest it should do 
 anything wrong. 
 
 Suddenly the brown heather a few paces in 
 front of Tangen's feet became alive, and a 
 flock of brown birds with white wing-feathers 
 got up. Four shots were fired, Tangen's last 
 and at a greater interval, as he gave himself 
 time to take aim. Two birds fell, and he was 
 sure they were his ; but Reidar declared angrily 
 that one of them was his. "Very well,"
 
 234 Life 
 
 thought Tangen, "let him think so; but he 
 fired off his shots like a raw recruit, and missed 
 as sure as I stand here. He must be in a bad 
 way!" 
 
 They agreed to separate and each work on 
 his own account. Reidar's dog put up many 
 birds, but the fault with them all was that 
 they flew. The artist's gun was heard con- 
 tinually, and fortune favoured him; but when 
 a couple of hours had passed, and Reidar out 
 of twenty shots had only killed two birds, he 
 called in his dog, sat down upon a stone and 
 wiped his forehead. "It's no use," he said to 
 himself, "I'm only thinking of her all the 
 time." 
 
 For the ninety-ninth time he asked himself 
 what his sister could have meant. Why would 
 she not tell him? What had happened? 
 
 "Don't worry 1" he counselled himself, as he 
 took out his pipe, filled and lighted it, and, 
 leaning on his elbow, gazed lazily out over the 
 expanse of pink ling stretching away beneath 
 the woolly sky. He heard the sombre sounds 
 of the mountain, the rushing of brooks, the 
 rustle of the ling in the wind, the distant cry
 
 Life 235 
 
 of an eagle from the clouds, cow-bells on the 
 other side of the lake, and now and then the 
 report of a gun. His eyelids dropped, and he 
 was moving in the same dream-country as last 
 night. He heard a scream from a thicket, 
 went to it and found her, wounded and bleed- 
 ing. Ah, that was a dream, too! But now he 
 heard cow-bells close by, and sprang up to find 
 himself surrounded by a herd of angry cows 
 trying to get at his dog. The next moment he 
 was on his feet, beating his way through them 
 with the butt end of his gun; but for a long 
 time the furious animals continued to follow 
 the dog, which always sought refuge with his 
 master. 
 
 In the meantime, Tangen had been fortu- 
 nate and had filled his game-bag. He had got 
 in among some steep mountain cliffs, and 
 thought he must be a long way from human 
 beings, when suddenly the mountains opened 
 out round a small lake, on the shore of which 
 stood a cluster of red-painted sseters. He 
 went into one of them, where he found a young 
 girl in Norwegian peasant dress, who not only 
 supplied him with milk, but was easily pro-
 
 236 Life 
 
 voked to laughter. Whether she had a sweet- 
 heart? Perhaps! And what was he? At the 
 school for teachers. What was her name? 
 "Really? My sweetheart's name is Ragnhild, 
 too," said the artist; "so I think you might sit 
 upon my knee for a little." The girl pushed 
 her dark hair off her forehead, laughed, and 
 sat upon his knee for a little while; and after 
 a little persuasion he also got a kiss, and later 
 on another. Gay and cheered by his little ad- 
 venture, he then went on his way after paying 
 liberally for the milk. 
 
 Later in the day he came upon the ruins of 
 an old saster beside a lonely tarn. The little 
 window in the cottage was broken, the roof of 
 the low cow-shed had fallen in, the saeter- 
 enclosure was overgrown with trees, and there 
 were only remnants of the fence. Tangen was 
 lost in contemplation of the sight, and in a 
 little while sat down, lighted his pipe, and lay 
 leaning upon his elbow. This forsaken dwell- 
 ing filled him with a strange emotion. Grass 
 had grown over the paths made by people and 
 animals, and perhaps fifty years ago a young 
 Ragnhild lived here, who blew the cow-herd's
 
 Life 237 
 
 horn and made the mountains echo for miles 
 round. And in the autumn evenings, when the 
 wind whistled round the corners of the hut, 
 she listened for footsteps; but there was only 
 the sound of the brook as it ran. The moon 
 played upon the tarn where the fish leaped, 
 the cow-bell rang in the cow-shed, and the fire 
 crackled on the hearth, but no one came. 
 
 Then at last one night he came. The hay 
 in the bed was fresh and crisp. 
 
 A couple of months later he had married 
 another, and she lay there and buried her face 
 in the pillow of rough sacking. The hay swal- 
 lowed her tears and the darkness her moans. 
 It is fifty years ago now, but fifty years before 
 that the same thing happened to her grand- 
 mother, only the lad who came then wore shoes 
 with buckles, and knee-breeches; but the hay 
 in the bed smelt as fresh and was just as crisp 
 then as now. 
 
 It is only a hundred years altogether, but 
 the saeter has stood here for a long, long time, 
 so much will have happened. But now the 
 paths are grass-grown, and all the old Ragn- 
 hilds lie in the churchyard, and weep no more,
 
 238 Life 
 
 and no longer wait for any one, no matter how 
 brightly the moon shines. 
 
 And you, Paul Tangen, who are forty now 
 your youth is dead, too. The time when you 
 ran to the sseter because some one was expect- 
 ing you when you won, lost, received and 
 gave among young women that time lies 
 buried in the churchyard. And yet you are 
 alive ! Is it worth it ! 
 
 Oh, to be twenty again, and be able to begin 
 at the beginning! And again his thoughts 
 flew to his old home, where he dimly believed 
 that the girls he had known as a lad still went 
 about as slim and pretty as ever. 
 
 When at last he rose and left the spot, he 
 turned several times and looked back, as if 
 the spirits of those girls of long ago still fre- 
 quented the forsaken place. 
 
 Late in the day he walked across a mountain- 
 ridge with the brown grass underfoot, juniper- 
 bushes all round him, and in front a dark talus 
 sloping up into the rolling mist. A pair of 
 eagles cried up in the air, and he stood and 
 watched their flight as they now hung motion- 
 less with grey wings outstretched, now fol-
 
 Life 239 
 
 lowed one another in wild chase. They came 
 so close to him that he could see their curved 
 beaks; he fired off both barrels, but with his 
 small shot he might just as well have shot at 
 the moon. At last beside a cairn he caught 
 sight of Reidar, standing out, motionless, 
 against the sky, leaning on his gun. 
 
 He shouted to him, but the other did not 
 answer, and it was only when the artist came 
 close up to him that he seemed to wake up. 
 His bag lay on the ground almost empty. 
 
 "It's beautiful here," said Reidar without 
 changing his position, and for a moment they 
 both stood looking at the wide landscapes far 
 below them, stretching for miles on all sides 
 in the grey light, with shining lakes dotted 
 over the brown moors, grey bogs and autumn- 
 tinted dwarf birch. The wind had dropped, 
 and the sky, with its clouds like hanging 
 masses of wool, was reflected in the lakes ; but 
 here and there, on a mountain-side or on the 
 moor, a streak of light pierced the cloud and 
 made a little yellow patch on the dark ground. 
 
 "I'm going home," said Reidar, shouldering 
 his gun. Tangen went with him. Reidar said
 
 240 Life 
 
 very little on the way, but all at once he 
 stopped and said: "Do you believe in 
 dreams?" 
 
 "You've asked me that once before today. 
 Do you believe in them yourself?" 
 
 Reidar did not reply at once, but then said: 
 "Have you never had a feeling that some one 
 far away is calling you?" 
 
 "My dear fellow, you're so strange. Hadn't 
 you better tell me straight out what's wrong?" 
 
 Reidar made no answer for a long time, but 
 before they reached the saster he said: "If we 
 human beings were not so idiotically proud, 
 
 things might perhaps be very different. As 
 far as fate is concerned, you've said one ought 
 to give it a kick if it showed itself unpleasant ; 
 but now suppose it were to be a long struggle? 
 It's perhaps easy for gods to preserve their | 
 v dignity, but it's difficult enough for humans." 
 After a bathe in the lake, they came into 
 the saeter, changed their clothes and had din- 
 ner ; and it was late when they at last sat with 
 their pipes, drinking whisky and water by the 
 miserable light of a tallow candle, while the 
 little house was shaken by the gusts of wind,
 
 Life 241 
 
 which hacl risen once more. Tangen tried to 
 put Reidar in good spirits by telling some of 
 his wildest stories, but it was hopeless, and at 
 last he became quite low-spirited himself. 
 
 In the middle of the night, when they had 
 both been asleep for some time, Reidar sud- 
 denly sat up and rubbed his eyes. He had 
 dreamt the same as the night before, and al- 
 most unconsciously he got out of bed. "What 
 now?" he said to himself. "What am I do- 
 ing?" And while he dressed, he kept asking 
 himself what he was doing. 
 
 He dressed without waking Tangen, and 
 then, lighting the candle, he wrote a few words 
 on a leaf torn from his pocket-book, placed it 
 upon the table, and crept out. He was fortu- 
 nate enough to get hold of his gun and his dog 
 without waking the old woman in there; and 
 with his bag in his hand he silently left the 
 saeter. 
 
 There was a yellow, stormy light upon the 
 moors beneath the clear sky, across which 
 great black masses of cloud chased one another 
 in wild flight ; and as he set off along the rough 
 road with his dog, and his gun slung across his
 
 242 Life 
 
 back, he saw his own and the dog's shadow 
 following like some monstrous moving phan- 
 tom in the wind. 
 
 "Goodness knows what's going to happen," 
 he thought. "But she's in trouble, she has 
 need of me, and I'm coming."
 
 XIII 
 
 IT was true, perhaps, that Astrid Riis did 
 not sleep so well just as this time, that she had 
 no appetite, that her head ached strangely, and 
 that both in the office and in the kitchen she 
 would often fall into a brown study and just 
 sit staring before her. But she was strong, 
 and pulled herself together so that no one 
 should notice anything; she had to listen to 
 her father reading, and appear pleased that he 
 would soon be finished. There was no one to 
 ask how she was, and no one who gave it a 
 thought. 
 
 It had been easier before, when she could 
 imagine all the things she had to do without. 
 The little kitchen had more than once become 
 a ski-iug hill, full of youthful figures, the little 
 drawing-room a ball-room, her father's step 
 in the adjoining room, the step of a young 
 man coming to her. But now it was disgust- 
 ing to dream, her dreams had played tricks 
 with her, betrayed her, so that she had been 
 
 243
 
 244 Life 
 
 driven into that affair with Holth. The truth 
 was that she was sinking lower and lower, that 
 she could never raise herself and become a 
 pure, innocent girl again. It was best to look 
 things straight in the face and try to bear 
 them. 
 
 One day she was standing in the kitchen 
 when the bell rang, and thinking it was a 
 message-boy, she went to open the door with- 
 out taking off her apron. 
 
 At the door stood Reidar Bang. She ut- 
 tered a little cry, but before she could shut the 
 door again, he was in the passage. 
 
 "No, no!" she stammered. "You 
 mustn't " 
 
 "Froken Riis, I must speak to you." 
 
 "Oh, go! Father he's in there!" 
 
 "I intend to speak to your father, too," he 
 said quietly, and catching sight at that mo- 
 ment of a half-open door, he went straight 
 towards it. 
 
 "But that's the kitchen, Herr Bang, and it" 
 looks dreadful. Do you hear?" 
 
 It did have a slightly confusing effect upon
 
 Life 245 
 
 him, too, but they had both entered now, and 
 he closed the door behind her. 
 
 "Froken Astrid!" he said, seizing both her 
 hands. 
 
 "Oh, no! You must go!" she said, as trem- 
 bling and with downcast eyes she tried to free 
 herself. 
 
 "Tell me honestly " he began. 
 
 "Let me go! Let me go!" 
 
 "You're unhappy!" 
 
 "Let me go!" 
 
 She breathed heavily. There was a little 
 pause, and she raised her eyes and met his. At 
 once her hands ceased struggling, for this was 
 no dream; it was no horrible man she was 
 imagining; it was he he! 
 
 "Mayn't I help you, Astrid!" 
 
 But the next moment her arms were round 
 his neck and she was clinging to him with her 
 face hidden on his breast. 
 
 Reidar was not one to be easily upset, and 
 the only thing for him to do now was to kiss 
 her; but when he gently raised her face, she 
 suddenly tore herself away and pushed him 
 from her.
 
 246 Life 
 
 "No, no! You must go!" 
 
 "Astrid!" 
 
 "It's too late, Reidar." And she fled from 
 him to the other side of the room. "It's too 
 late," sl^e repeated. "Do you hear? You 
 must go I" 
 
 "Too late?" he questioned with wide-open 
 eyes, and taking a step forward. 
 
 "Oh, do go! Here comes father! Oh dear, 
 oh dear!" 
 
 He saw the fear in her face, and involun- 
 tarily drew back. "Too late?" he repeated as 
 if to himself. "Too late?" 
 
 "Reidar, don't break my heart ! Go, oh go !" 
 
 He gave in to her and allowed himself to be 
 pushed out, but retained sufficient presence of 
 mind to say: "Well, I'll go now, but of course 
 I shall come again, Astrid." 
 
 As he went downstairs, he was vexed to find 
 that his knees were trembling. "Idiot!" he 
 murmured. "You're not drunk!" 
 
 Meanwhile the captain had opened the door 
 from the dining-room. "What's all this? 
 Who was that?" 
 He saw that she hastened to smooth her
 
 Life 247 
 
 hair, and when she stammered that it was the 
 man with the coals, he pursed up his mouth 
 and hurrying to the kitchen-door, tore it open. 
 But there was no one to be seen on the stairs. 
 
 "I wonder what's going on here," he mur- 
 mured, as he shuffled back again. 
 
 Later in the day, when she had somewhat 
 calmed down again, she received a telegram: 
 "When can we meet?" During the few mo- 
 ments in which she pondered her answer, she 
 thought of two things of her father, who 
 would have a stroke, and of herself, who would 
 have to tell Reidar about Holth. Then she 
 wrote her answer: "Cannot. Forget mel" 
 After it was gone she had to sit for a long time 
 and hold herself tightly ; but then suddenly she 
 could not help smiling, for he was still fond 
 of her, and she had had her arms round his 
 neck today. She did not feel able to stay in 
 this back flat now ; she must go out and try to 
 find some sunshine. And why did she stand 
 in front of her mirror and put on pretty things 
 as if she were going to meet some one, and why 
 did she go and sit down on a seat in the palace 
 park as if she were waiting for some one?
 
 248 Life 
 
 Many young men appeared in the distance and 
 passed, and in the distance some of them re- 
 sembled Reidar ; but why was she disappointed 
 when they came nearer? She knew what an- 
 swer she had given. 
 
 The captain had to wait a long time for his 
 supper, and when at last Astrid came in, he 
 was flushed and angrily pacing the floor. 
 
 "Well, I must say!" 
 
 "I've been for a walk," she said indiffe .nt- 
 ly, going towards her room. 
 
 "So you've been for a walk, have you? And 
 I I've been sitting working and toiling, and 
 haven't even had supper !" 
 
 "There's bread and butter on the kitchen 
 dresser," she said, smiling almost maliciously. 
 "I've been toiling too today, and I'm tired 
 now. .Good-night !" 
 
 He stood staring at the door after it had 
 closed upon her. This was a new way of an- 
 swering and behaving! He called her, and 
 knocked at her door, but it was locked; and 
 when an hour later his anger had died down, 
 he sat on lost in thought. This was like was 
 like a woman who was dead. And that even-
 
 Life 249 
 
 ing Captain Riis forgot to get any supper for 
 himself. 
 
 The next day she was the same as usual, but 
 when he had lain down for a nap after 
 dinner, if she didn't begin playing the flute 
 out in the kitchen! He put his feet to the 
 ground preparatory to rushing out to her, but 
 got no farther. This conscious way of defying 
 him reminded him so vividly of another, and 
 it made him so strangely powerless. 
 
 The same afternoon, while Astrid was busy 
 making the coffee, she heard a well-known 
 step on the back-stair, and her brother put in 
 his head. 
 
 "Can I come in?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 This time he wore a new suit of clothes, was 
 well shaved and clean ; and there was an unu- 
 sual expression of seriousness and determina- 
 tion upon his face. 
 
 "You're looking at me," he said. "Well, 
 I'm on that journey now that I mentioned be- 
 fore. And what about my farewell words to 
 the old 'un?" 
 
 "What are you going to say, Ivar?"
 
 250 Life 
 
 He pushed his reddish hair off his forehead 
 and laughed. 
 
 "Isn't it funny that what has kept me up 
 all these years has been the desire to meet 
 father one day and look him in the face and 
 contradict him. When I was little he gave 
 me the birch on my bare back, later on he 
 boxed my ears so that I stumbled right across 
 tEe room, and last of all he preached sermons 
 at me twelve times a day. And I was always 
 a coward and shrunk up like a wet rag, and of 
 course he thought that I couldn't even think 
 anything myself. Well, since then I've given 
 Elm some trouble, but that was my way of 
 hitting back, though that was cowardly too. 
 But today well, I've borrowed clothes for 
 the ceremony. I've thought out a good deal 
 in all these years, and now he shall bear it, if 
 only I don't let myself be hounded again and 
 lose the thread. I've brisked myself up just 
 enough." 
 
 He stood there tall, thin and with clean- 
 shaven face, and winked his red eyelids, as he 
 fidgeted with his new straw hat like a boy. 
 
 "Ivar, things are happening with me just
 
 Life 251 
 
 as you said. Nothing can save me now, and 
 the worst of it is that I've begun to be so 
 naughty and bad, and feel as if I did so want 
 Jo hurt father." 
 
 He looked at her for a moment. Was it the 
 new clothes that made him so tactful? He 
 sat down beside her, and took her hand in his, 
 and before she quite knew what she was doing, 
 she was telling him all about it. 
 
 "Oh indeed," he said at last, and turned his 
 his pale face towards the window. Then he 
 stroked her hair and stood up, seeming taller 
 than before. 
 
 "Come with me!" he said/ 
 
 "No, Ivar! No, No!" 
 
 "Come!" he said, drawing her with him. 
 She followed him in a dazed way; she wanted 
 to be with him when he faced their imperious 
 father. But suppose suppose that should 
 happen which she had once looked upon as a 
 desperate idea, but had latterly begun to feel 
 more and more as a terrible possibility that 
 she too would have the courage to rise and 
 free herself. It was her only hope of salva- 
 tion now, but she involuntarily looked at her
 
 252 Life 
 
 hands as if she expected they would be bloody. 
 
 "Come on!" 
 
 They were in the dark passage, and near- 
 ing the door. 
 
 "Let me go, Ivarl I can't, I tell you!" 
 
 "Come on!" 
 
 They entered, but the little drawing-room, 
 with its windows looking on to grey walls, 
 was empty. There was the sound of some one 
 moving about in the next room, however, and 
 presently the door, opened and the captain ap- 
 peared, looking a little sleepy, and with his 
 coat unbuttoned. In one hand he held a long 
 meerschaum pipe, and his mouth moved as if 
 it still held the mouthpiece. "Well!" he said, 
 expecting Astrid had brought his coffee, but 
 then he stopped, all at once wide awake. His 
 son stood there. 
 
 "Good day, father!" said the young man, 
 bowing, but uncertain whether to hold out his 
 hand. 
 
 "What!" The hand with the meerschaum 
 pipe began to tremble, and the old man re- 
 treated a step.
 
 Life 253 
 
 "I've come to say good-bye, father. I start 
 for America this evening." 
 
 "Oh! Really! Another voyage to Amer- 
 ica!" The captain recalled the times he had 
 given money before for the passage, and now 
 perhaps it was the same again. 
 
 The young man looked calmly at his father. 
 "I've got help from a friend," he said. "And 
 I hope I shall not have to ask you for money 
 any more." 
 
 "Thank you! And you're going this even- 
 ing in downright earnest?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "Well, well," said the old man, looking at 
 his pipe, and drawing a deep breath. "Well, 
 God be with you then, Ivar! I I every- 
 thing shall be forgotten as far as I am con- 
 cerned." 
 
 The young man put down his hat and pass- 
 ed his hand across his forehead as if to collect 
 himself. "There was something I wanted to 
 say to you, though, father." 
 
 The old man thought it was to be a prayer 
 for forgiveness and waved it aside. "No need,
 
 254 Life 
 
 Ivar. Behave better where you're going, 
 that's all." 
 
 "Well, that wasn't what I was going to 
 say." There was a pause, during which the 
 father and son looked at one another. 
 
 "Wasn't it?" 
 
 Astrid here tried to slip out, but her brother 
 put his hand upon the door-handle and pre- 
 vented her. 
 
 "Ivar!" she begged. 
 
 "No, stay here, Astrid." 
 
 "What is it?" said the captain looking from 
 one to the other. 
 
 Astrid leaned against the wall, feeling as 
 if the floor was slipping away from her; for 
 it was coming now. 
 
 "I've something to settle up," said the young 
 man, looking his father straight in the face. 
 
 The captain's lips grew hard. 
 
 "Won't you sit down, father?" 
 
 "Thank you, I'd rather stand." He laid 
 down his pipe in the window. 
 
 "You you're unhappy, father." 
 
 "What!" said the old man, standing erect. 
 
 "For we're unhappy too, Astrid and I."
 
 Life 255 
 
 "Oh! And is that my fault?" 
 
 "Has that never occurred to you?" 
 
 The captain drew a step nearer, with wide- 
 open eyes, and there was a pause. 
 
 "Ivar!" said Astrid again beseechingly, but 
 her brother refused to let her go. 
 
 "What was that you said?" 
 
 The son again passed his hand across his 
 forehead, as if to find the right words. 
 
 "Yes, father, it's quite true that you've had 
 trouble, but if the parents are ill, have they a 
 right to infect their children?" 
 
 The old man threw back his head and gazed 
 open-mouthed. 
 
 "And if the parents suffer mental torture, 
 have they a right to shut up their children in 
 the same everlasting torture?" 
 
 Captain Riis looked like a man whose hat 
 had blown off, and who did not know which 
 way it had gone. He went up to Ivar. 
 
 "You've been drinking, Ivar, and you must 
 go." And unconsciously the young man fell 
 back a step as he had so often done before 
 when he was going to be punished; but at the
 
 256 Life 
 
 door he stopped again, picking up his courage 
 again, and faced his father once more. 
 
 "Go, Ivar!" 
 
 Here Astrid went to her brother, and again 
 the captain opened his eyes in astonishment. 
 
 "Yes, father, I'm going; but first you shall 
 know that we had a miserable childhood, both 
 Astrid and I.'* 
 
 The captain turned his eyes to his daughter. 
 "Astrid, do you hear that?" 
 1 The young girl stood leaning against the 
 wall, pale and trembling. It seemed to her 
 that her mother was near her, and she uncon- 
 sciously stretched out her hands for invisible 
 aid. 
 
 "Astrid!" repeated the old man. "Do you 
 hear that?" But she only closed her eyes to 
 avoid his. 
 
 At this the captain fell back a step, feeling 
 with outstretched hand for a chair to lean 
 upon, and gazed from one to the other of the 
 two children who seemed to have conspired 
 against him. 
 
 "Has it never occurred to you, father, that 
 you have ill-used us?" continued the young
 
 Life 257 
 
 man. "When we were little we were never al- 
 lowed to play, or laugh, or sing, or be children. 
 We were to feel your sorrows, hate your ene- 
 mies, feel sorry for you, and become this thing 
 or the other, so that you should have your 
 revenge and satisfaction. There was never any 
 sunshine for us. I turned out as might have 
 been expected ; there's nothing more to be said 
 about that. But now there's Astrid!" 
 
 "Ivar!" broke in the young girl; but she put 
 her arm about her brother, as if seeking his 
 protection; and once more the old man re- 
 treated before them. 
 
 "Astrid!" he cried in a trembling voice, as 
 if he could not yet believe it. "Astrid, do you 
 hear what he says?" 
 
 Captain Riis was accustomed to feel him- 
 self a martyr, and at war with heaven and 
 earth ; but that he himself should be to blame ? 
 His feet moved mechanically, as if he no 
 longer dared rely upon the floor he stood upon. 
 
 "Astrid, why don't you answer him? Do 
 you hear, my child? Have I have I been so 
 unkind to you?" 
 
 The young girl trembled and closed her
 
 258 Life 
 
 eyes, and again her hand moved as if seeking 
 a support that no one else could see. 
 
 There was a coldness about these two, they 
 were strangers, indeed they were enemies ; and 
 now the captain had to sit down because the 
 room began to go round. He put his hand 
 over his eyes to wake himself. He passed it 
 over his thin grey hair, as if he expected it 
 had turned white. He tried to laugh, but it was 
 half a sob, tried to rise, but found it difficult. 
 When at last he stood up, he leaned one hand 
 on the back of a chair for support, and with 
 the other eased his collar to make breathing 
 easier, and at last got out the words : 
 
 "Oh indeed! That that's enough!" Then 
 he turned to go to his room, but at the door 
 half turned, leaned against the frame and 
 stood erect. 
 
 He meant to have said "good-bye," but the 
 word would not come. There must be some 
 mistake. He must lower himself so far as to 
 say a few words in self-defence to his own 
 children. 
 
 "Well," he began, as if talking to the room 
 "well, there may possibly seem to have been
 
 Life 259 
 
 little sunshine here, that's quite true. You 
 two have not had things like others of your 
 own age. But what about me? Has no one 
 ill-used me? Great heavens, have I been al- 
 lowed to live my own life ? I was once a young, 
 ambitious lieutenant, who dreamt of rising 
 high; but I had to bring my education to an 
 end and take a post as civilian, because my 
 mother and brothers and sisters had to be pro- 
 vided for. Afterwards it was your mother 
 and you two. My school-fellows could go on 
 with their special subjects and get promoted; 
 but I was left behind, for I had first of all to 
 earn money always more, always more. And 
 what did I get in return? I sacrificed my 
 youth, my career, my happiness, and what did 
 I get in return? Your mother well, peace 
 be with her. And you two? You, Astrid, I 
 thought but there! You you too stand 
 there and call me a criminal ! And what is my 
 life then? Is it sunshine? Ha, ha, ha!" He 
 laughed a dismal laugh. "Well, perhaps I 
 am one of those people who are only born to 
 be trampled upon; but it's not so easy to be 
 content with it." His head dropped on his
 
 260 Life 
 
 breast; it seemed as if he were ashamed to 
 stand and lay his soul bare before his children. 
 
 "Father!" cried Astrid, going to him and 
 throwing her arms round his neck. The old 
 man clasped her to him with a sob, though he 
 smiled, for he had got back his daughter. But 
 the younger man, who was himself shaken with 
 emotion, felt that his sister had now lost her 
 foothold, and must be helped. 
 
 "I know you've had a hard time, father," he 
 said respectfully, going nearer. "And I've 
 I've much to ask your pardon for. But it was 
 about Astrid " 
 
 "Ivar!" said the young girl beseechingly. 
 
 "Astrid?" repeated the old man, putting his 
 hand on his daughter's head. "What about 
 you, child?" 
 
 Summoning up all his courage, the younger 
 man replied: "She's engaged." 
 
 "Ivar, Ivar!" 
 
 The old man looked from one to the other. 
 "Engaged?" he repeated. 
 
 "Yes, and you must not oppose rE, father." 
 
 "I?" the captain still understood nothing 
 "No, of course not, but "
 
 Life 261 
 
 "She didn't dare tell you." 
 
 The old man again looked at his daughter, 
 who now drew away from him. "Is it true, 
 Astrid? But why who is he?" 
 
 "It's Reidar Bang, son of the general," said 
 her brother retreating a step. 
 
 "Ivar!" groaned the young girl and fled to 
 the door. 
 
 "Who did you say it was?" The old man 
 came a step nearer, and seemed not to have 
 heard correctly. 
 
 "A son of General Bang; and that's why she 
 didn't dare tell you," repeated Ivar, as he 
 once more prevented his sister from running 
 away. There was a pause, and the captain 
 stared at his daughter, who crouched together 
 at the door. 
 
 "Astrid!" he said at last. "Do you hear 
 what he says?" 
 
 "Yes, father," she replied, recovering her- 
 self at last, but looking involuntarily at her 
 hands. 
 
 "Bang, did you say?" And he trembled so 
 that he had to cling to the door-frame. "Are 
 you engaged to him?"
 
 262 Life 
 
 "Yes, father." She looked at her father 
 with wide-open eyes, as if expecting some- 
 thing to happen ; but the old man did not fall 
 to the floor. 
 
 "Astrid!" he said beseechingly. "Don't 
 make fun of me. Say it isn't true !" 
 
 "It is true father," she whispered, closing 
 her eyes. 
 
 Ivar now took up his hat and turned to go ; 
 but at the door he stopped. "If Astrid is to 
 live her own life, father," he said, "it must be 
 now. If you want her to be happy, you must 
 give her leave." 
 
 The captain still tried not to believe it. "But 
 dear me, child, you don't know any of the 
 family!" 
 
 Astrid, who had so often said what was not 
 true on this subject, felt relieved at being able 
 to speak out. 
 
 "Yes, father, I've often met him. I've 
 stayed at the general's, and his daughter has 
 been my best friend for a long time." 
 
 The old man's head dropped upon his breast 
 and he shrank together as if he had been 
 struck. So it was true; the last light was ex-
 
 Life 263 
 
 tinguished, and these children, to whom he had 
 just confessed his failings, had betrayed him 
 and gone over to the enemy. 
 
 He advanced a couple of paces, seized a 
 chair, and raising it, brought it down so forci- 
 bly upon the floor that the back gave way. 
 "Very well," he cried, beginning to laugh 
 again. "Then go to the general! Go, Astrid!" 
 And hastening to the door, he opened it, then 
 on to the hall-door and opened that, shouting, 
 beside himself with rage: "Go! Go! Go!" 
 
 Astrid managed to get hold of her hat, and 
 ran with her brother down the stairs. In the 
 entry at the bottom they paused for a moment 
 and looked at one another. "I managed it!" 
 said the young man, his thoughts on his own 
 share in the matter. "But it wasn't easy!" 
 
 Astrid put on her hat, and they went into 
 the street. The sun was shining, and for a 
 moment seemed to dazzle them. 
 
 "Where will you go now, Astrid?" 
 
 "I I shall go up to father." 
 
 "Indeed you shan't! You must promise me 
 you'll go to Reidar Bang, indeed I'll go with 
 you. I'll get a cab."
 
 264 Life 
 
 "No, no, I'd rather come down to the boat 
 with you. There'll be nobody coming to say 
 goodbye to you, I suppose." 
 
 They got into a cab, and for the first and 
 last time the brother and sister drove together 
 through the noisy town. Then among busy 
 dock-labourers and a crowd of people, they 
 bade each other goodbye, and Astrid clung to 
 her brother with her arms about his neck. 
 
 "Goodbye, my dear girl. Thanks for all the 
 food you've smuggled into me." He tried to 
 laugh. 
 
 "Write often, Ivar; and promise me you'll 
 behave." 
 
 Then they parted, but as he was going on 
 board he heard her voice again, and turned 
 back. 
 
 "Look here !" she said, putting a little locket 
 into his hand. "It's mother's." 
 
 "No, Astrid, it's yours." 
 
 "You take it now. I've nothing else to give 
 you. And think of her and me." She tried 
 to smile through her tears, then turned and 
 hurried away through the crowd.
 
 Life 265 
 
 The Bang family had just moved in from 
 the country, and the two old people were sit- 
 ting alone late that evening, when the bell 
 rang. A little while after there was a tap at 
 the door. "Come inf cried the general, rais- 
 ing his eyes from his book. The door opened, 
 and Reidar pushed the bashful young 1 girl 
 before him into the room. 
 
 "Here I come with my sweetheart," he said. 
 "And perhaps mother and father will give 
 her house-room for a time." 
 
 A couple of hours later Astrid was lying 
 in a large well-lighted room, and Fru Bang 
 sat by the bedside, stroking her cheek and tell- 
 ing her that all would be well. The young 
 girl smiled and sobbed both at once. She 
 could not forget the sight of the coffee stand- 
 ing ready out in the little kitchen at home, 
 and that it had not been taken into the draw- 
 ing-room. Everything had been left as if 
 there had been a sudden fire in the house. 
 Here she lay in one of Inga's nightdresses. 
 What had her father done? By this time her 
 brother was far out on the fjord, and she 
 would never see him again. And in the midst
 
 266 Life 
 
 of all these dreadful things she had spent some 
 hours with Reidar at last, at last ! And now 
 she was here, and they were all trying to see 
 who could show her most kindness. Was it 
 all a dream, another of her visions? 
 
 The end of it was that Inga's bed had to be 
 moved into her room, as she was afraid to sleep 
 by herself. 
 
 When all the others had retired for the 
 night, the general was still walking up and 
 down on the thick carpet in the drawing-room. 
 Now and then he stopped to listen, as if he 
 expected he might hear the breathing of the 
 young, beautiful woman who had been wafted 
 so suddenly into his house. 
 
 How exactly she resembled her mother! 
 And how time passes !
 
 XIV 
 
 EARLY the next morning the general sent 
 the following letter to Captain Riis: 
 
 "My dear comrade, 
 
 It looks as if we were going to the manoeu- 
 vres again together. May I report myself at 
 your service today at one o'clock?" 
 
 At the appointed time he walked with his 
 usual easy gait through the street. He could 
 not possibly take the eccentric old man very 
 seriously ; and he had nothing to reproach him- 
 self with. A man hungers for life and work, 
 and rushes about from one thing to another; 
 and now and then he meets with a little ad- 
 venture, which he takes discreetly and then 
 hastens elsewhere, because duty calls him. 
 Who can say he has not done so? Perhaps 
 some one or other suffers for it ; but that a man 
 who is worth anything can sit down and stare 
 at a little suspicion, even engage it as his 
 companion for years and years no, the gen- 
 
 267
 
 268 Life 
 
 eral could not understand that, he could not 
 possibly take it seriously, and now he was go- 
 ing to let a little fresh air into the old hermit's 
 abode. 
 
 Astrid had lain awake for a long time, but 
 after her great excitement she was thoroughly 
 worn out, and went on sleeping and sleeping. 
 When at last she opened her eyes, the room 
 was full of sunshine, and Fru Bang was, 
 standing beside her, smiling. 
 
 "Well, I'm glad you've slept so well, my 
 child," said the pretty, white-haired old lady. 
 Astrid sat up in bewilderment. What had 
 happened? Where was she? 
 
 "Reidar was here early, and has telephoned 
 several times since; but I told him that a 
 newly-engaged girl needs sleep." 
 
 "What time is it?" 
 
 "Oh, only twelve, or perhaps a little past 
 one ; but you may go to sleep again if you like, 
 child." 
 
 It was strange, this getting up. ,She felt 
 as if she were in a calm after a storm, but that 
 something would soon break out again. She 
 had dreamt of becoming a daughter-in-law of
 
 Life 269 
 
 this house, and now here she was; and yet she 
 looked about her as at a strange place. What 
 was the matter? She was told that Reidar 
 had already given notice to her employers that 
 she would not be returning to the office, so she 
 would not have to dress in a hurry to be off, 
 nor light the kitchen fire, nor lay the table 
 and make the beds, nor wash up. She was free 
 at last free! And yet there was something 
 wrong. 
 
 Fru Bang left her and half an hour later, 
 when Astrid went down and entered the large, 
 bright corner-room, she found herself in the 
 midst of a family conclave, consisting of 
 Reidar himself, his parents, Fru Ramm and 
 Inga. There was a dead silence when she 
 entered. "Here she isl" said the general, has- 
 tening towards her and putting an arm round 
 her waist. "Now let's hear what she thinks!" 
 said Reidar, taking both her hands in his; 
 Astrid did not look as if she had any opinion, 
 but seemed inclined rather to take flight. Fru 
 Ramm got up, smoothed down her well-fitting 
 skirt, and looked with a little astonishment at 
 Astrid's faded cotton dress, but then went up
 
 270 Life 
 
 to her and kissed her, saying: "Welcome into 
 the family! So it was you who were to turn 
 Reidar's head at last, was it?" 
 
 "Your fiance's so impatient, Astrid," said 
 Fru Bang. "He wants to get married this 
 very day, and he won't understand that it 
 wouldn't be decent before a month at least." 
 
 Astrid, who had seated herself on a chair, 
 now looked down and blushed. 
 
 "Well, we were engaged for two years," 
 said Fru Ramm glancing in the mirror to ar- 
 range the veil round her hat. 
 
 "And Henrik and I !" added Inga, evidently 
 not liking that things should be made so much 
 smoother for her friend. 
 
 Reidar stood beside Astrid, with his hand 
 on the back of her chair. "Well, it's a good 
 thing to receive good advice," he said smiling. 
 
 Fru Ramm and Inga exchanged glances, 
 understanding that they must not interfere 
 any more in the matter. 
 
 "But first of all, Astrid," said Fru Bang, 
 smiling a little uncertainly. "We must try 
 to come to an arrangement with your father."
 
 Life 271 
 
 The young girl's head sank lower, and she hid 
 her face in her hands. 
 
 "Excuse me, mother, but I would suggest 
 that Astrid has a little breakfast," said Reidar, 
 knowing that she must feel as if she had been 
 dragged into court; and he gave her his arm 
 and led her into the dining-room, where a meal 
 was laid for one. "Now, then, eat away, and 
 leave everything else to me. Did you sleep 
 well?" he asked, bending back her head, and 
 kissing her eyes. 
 
 She did not answer, but sat down and tried 
 to eat, while he went round the table and 
 smiled at her from one side. Fancy! She 
 used her knife and fork like any ordinary per- 
 son! And when she chewed her food, her cheek 
 bulged out on one side, just like other people's! 
 She threw side-glances at him too, and smiled 
 a little anxiously. For weeks they had both 
 been making pictures of one another in their 
 own minds, and it did not follow that they 
 were correct. They were suddenly engaged, 
 these two. 
 
 He pressed her to eat, and sat down beside 
 her. At last she was sitting in his parents*
 
 272 Life 
 
 house! Her hands were still red, and he was 
 angry when he felt a lump rise in his throat. 
 A hum of voices came from the next room, and 
 it disturbed him. He would go in and put 
 an end to it. 
 
 "The only thing is," Fru Bang was saying 
 as he entered, "what shall we say to people? 
 Astrid is heartily welcome here, but of course 
 every one knows that until now she's lived 
 with her father, and how shall we explain " 
 
 "I'll tell you how, mother," said Reidar. 
 I'll take Astrid with me to the magistrate this 
 very morning, and then we'll go back to my 
 house a married couple; and you can sit here 
 and wonder what people will say." His 
 freckled face was quite red now, and his eyes 
 not in the least sleepy. Did they think they 
 could forbid him to marry? 
 
 "Now, now Reidar 1" said his mother. 
 "Don't be so hasty! Isn't that just like you!" 
 
 Fru Ramm and Inga smiled at one another. 
 
 "Well, I agree with Reidar!" said the gen- 
 eral suddenly, rising. "We can surely be al- 
 lowed to have a daughter-in-law staying in the 
 house without having to account to all the
 
 Life 273 
 
 world for it. And as for that old curmudgeon 
 I've gone once to Canossa, and confound 
 it, I'm not going to do it again! The girl's of 
 age. Give the old man three weeks, and if he 
 hasn't capitulated then, just have the wedding 
 and say he's dead, and there's an end of it." 
 
 "Very well, then that's settled," said Fru 
 Bang. But Inga pursed up her lips into a 
 grimace, and hurried out. 
 
 Astrid could not rest, and persuaded Reidar 
 to go at once with her to her father, for the 
 worst might have happened since yesterday. 
 So for the first time the two young people 
 walked together through the town, the well- 
 dressed young man making a great contrast 
 to the young girl in her faded straw hat and 
 cotton dress; she might have been his maid- 
 servant. 
 
 "If we only knew what there was between 
 our fathers," said Reidar. 
 
 "Yes. I suppose you couldn't very well ask 
 your father?" 
 
 "No. I couldn't. In some matters he's a 
 little difficult to approach." 
 
 Soon they were standing ringing at the
 
 274 Life 
 
 door through which Astrid had so often en- 
 tered with her own key. The bell sounded as 
 if the house were empty, but the porter had 
 told them that the captain had not been out. 
 They rang again and again, ready to go in, 
 hand in hand, to the old man; but there was 
 no sign of any living being. At last Astrid 
 turned, pale and frightened, to Reidar, and 
 he understood her. "We must wait till to- 
 morrow," he said. "Then if the worst comes 
 to the worst, we must burst open the door." 
 
 The next day, however, they met the old 
 charwoman on the stairs. She told them that 
 as she went up the stairs that morning, the 
 captain was just opening his letter-box, and 
 he asked her to go out and get him something 
 to eat. She was engaged to come and look 
 after him now, but she was strictly forbidden 
 to let any one in. 
 
 "How is he?" 
 
 "Oh, he's better now, since he's had some- 
 thing to eat. He's shaved too, and now he's 
 sitting turning over the pages of a big manu- 
 script." 
 
 It was an indescribable relief to Astrid. The
 
 Life 275 
 
 worst had not happened. He was walking 
 about, had engaged some one to look after him, 
 had eaten, and had begun to work. As soon 
 as they reached a secluded corner of the stairs, 
 she threw her arms round Reidar's neck, say- 
 ing: "Now it'll be all right again, you'll see!" 
 
 Reidar too felt relieved, and on the way 
 home said: 
 
 "We'll go and buy some flowers for mother, 
 for I was rather hard on her yesterday, and 
 then you must come with me to grandmother's. 
 You don't know how pleased she'll be. And 
 that'll be the only visit we'll make." 
 
 So the captain was left in peace for a little 
 while, and in the meantime Astrid tried to be 
 happy and hope that things would turn out all 
 right. But although one anxiety was removed, 
 another took its place. "Holth!" sang always 
 in her ears. "Are you going to tell Reidar 
 everything now?" No, no, she dared not; it 
 would be risking everything. But could she 
 have a single happy day if she kept on deceiv- 
 ing him? No, but could she not put off doing 
 it now? "And if he gets to know of it in some 
 other way," she thought. "Well, then every-
 
 276 Life 
 
 thing would be over, and it will be with me as 
 it was with mother. But perhaps it will be 
 some time before the dreadful thing happens, 
 and until then I'll be happy for once, too." 
 
 She was accustomed to carry about a secret 
 pain that no one must see, and the continual 
 fear only made her cling the closer to Reidar. 
 She really did not know him. Now she was 
 so near him, he was not altogether what she 
 had thought him. His voice was different, his 
 glance, his chin, his mouth. In her thoughts 
 she had always pictured him on skis, as he had 
 been that Easter; and gradually he had come 
 to represent all that she had missed, play, free- 
 dom, the blue sky, and he even became the 
 standard of a tremendous obstinacy that gave 
 her a delightful feeling of dizziness. But nowl 
 Why, he could sing, and talk about art! He 
 had had to begin as a barber in America, and 
 had frozen and starved in Klondyke he, the 
 general's son ! He took her to church, not to 
 hear the priest, but the singing and the organ. 
 He was quick to become angry, and it was 
 quickly over; but he tried to hide both condi- 
 tions. She never seemed to come to the end
 
 Life 277 
 
 of him, and when she was more than usually 
 anxious, he was more than a human being to 
 her; he was for her the bright life to which 
 she clung. 
 
 Just because she had a feeling that it would 
 all soon come to an end, the days that followed 
 were wonderfully full. To wake in the morn- 
 ing and say to herself: "You're not going to 
 the office, nor into the kitchen; you're free 
 free! It's certain you'll get no scolding to- 
 day! It's Reidar," she thought, and would 
 have liked to embrace him there and then. 
 Was it not nice to call every little pleasure 
 by his name? To have early morning coffee, 
 and then be lazy a little longer, because there 
 was nothing she was obliged to get up for. 
 To go into the big bathroom, and do gymnas- 
 tics before the open window, take a cold 
 shower-bath and then towel herself until the 
 skin was red. Thank goodness, she thought, 
 as she looked at her shapely limbs, "I'm just 
 as strong now as I was when I was in the gym- 
 nastic-class. The warm, comfortable glow 
 afterwards, filled her mind with thoughts of 
 an open-air life in wind and sunshine. It was
 
 278 Life 
 
 Reidar, she thought again, with a smile. In 
 her room where all the paint was white, when 
 she drew back the yellow curtains, she no 
 longer saw sooty walls, but only yellowing 
 tree-tops, and beyond, the fjord. The sun 
 shone upon her, and she let her dressing-gown 
 drop, and turned round and round in the 
 bright light. It was Reidar again. "Did you 
 do this, mother, that time?" 
 
 She had never dreamt it could be such a 
 pleasure to dress herself, but now everything 
 she put on was perfectly new and clean. 
 Strangely disguised parcels were always be- 
 ing brought her by Fru Bang. There was a 
 superabundance and it would have been pain- 
 ful to have received it all, if she had not sus- 
 pected from whom it really came. He might 
 transform her as much as he liked; it all, and 
 she herself, belonged to him. Her hands 
 touched everything caressingly before she put 
 it on. But in the midst of all her joy, a fear 
 would dart in. "Father left alone in pov- 
 erty!" She would write to him. "But Holth! 
 If Reidar knew !" It was as if she were hold-
 
 Life 279 
 
 ing roses in her hands and they suddenly 
 pricked them and made them bleed. 
 
 Well, it would all soon be at an end, but 
 for that very reason every little thing was won- 
 derfully delightful. Those long stockings, for 
 instance, they must be silk; there was such a 
 pleasant feeling when she drew them on. It 
 was Reidar she whispered, trembling, she 
 knew not why, and with beating heart. All 
 her garments, and the pretty shoes, were all 
 something of Reidar in which she clothed her- 
 self. When she moved, their touch upon her 
 body was like tiny caresses, and a wave of 
 feeling rose within her, and her eyes dropped. 
 Then she stood before the mirror and put up 
 her yellow hair; but where have all these new 
 brushes with tortoise-shell backs come from? 
 On her dressing-table lay a whole world of 
 combs, and boxes, and bottles, and all the 
 thousand and one things that are woman's se- 
 cret; and involuntarily she smiled at her re- 
 flection in the mirror. 
 
 The morning was passing, however, and 
 downstairs the general would suddenly rush 
 in from the study with his pen behind his ear,
 
 280 Life 
 
 to ask whether the child were not up yet. "No," 
 said his wife. "You said yourself that she 
 was to think of nothing but eating and sleep- 
 ing." Yes, yes, of course, he had said so, and 
 yet he waited about impatiently. "What do 
 you think of her, Marie?" he asked, stopping 
 in front of his wife, who sat sewing with spec- 
 tacles on. After a slight pause, she answered: 
 "Oh, well, it's easy to see she's never had any 
 real home ; but we must hope for the best." 
 
 "I'm thinking of 'taking her for a drive to- 
 day. You others monopolise her altogether." 
 And he trotted up and down qaite angrily. 
 "Yes," said his wife, smiling. "It's easy to 
 see you're in love with her." "Of course, I'm 
 in love with her! And it does one good too; 
 it makes one feel quite young." 
 
 Before they had paid their visit to the old- 
 est member of the family, the old lady herself 
 came in one day, with stick in hand, and 
 paused in the middle of the room. "Well, 
 what's going on here?" she said. "Is it that 
 young woman?" And she turned her long- 
 handled glasses upon Astrid. "Oh, so that's 
 what the girl's like who's at last bewitched
 
 Life 281 
 
 that obstinate boy. She's got red hair, and so 
 has he. There'll be a beautiful collection in 
 this house in time." Then she sat down, and 
 pointing to a chair beside her, said: "Come 
 here, child, and let us have a little talk to- 
 gether." 
 
 It was wonderful to become all at once a 
 daughter in a wealthy house. They were at 
 her beck and call because she was Reidar's 
 fiancee; and at the same time it was strange 
 how they spoke of him. "My extraordinary 
 son," the general would say with an ironical 
 smile. When Inga mentioned him she often 
 laughed. His mother shook her head and 
 smiled. But no sooner did he enter than they 
 all flocked about him. 
 
 The time for the wedding was drawing near, 
 and according to custom, it should have been 
 held at the house of the bride's father! But 
 Astrid's father! The whole of her trousseau 
 she had to take from her parents-in-law. It 
 was a little humiliating, but she hoped it wuold 
 all be paid for by Reidar. She went with 
 Fru Bang to costumiers where she chose ma- 
 terials without regard to their price, and tried
 
 282 Life 
 
 on dresses so beautiful that she hardly dared 
 touch them. It was like a fairy-tale, and so 
 overpowered her that she would have liked to 
 hide herself. The general, who was always 
 covertly watching her, noticed that she was 
 undergoing a great transformation. Her car- 
 riage became more graceful, her step lighter; 
 her voice took on a brighter tone, and when 
 she raised her eyes to look at one, it was with 
 a faint beautiful smile. 
 
 "I must try to do something in return," 
 she thought, and fortunately she had had a 
 few krones in her purse when she left home 
 so hurriedly. She had earned them honestly, 
 and they were just sufficint to buy a white 
 waistcoat for Reidar and a cloth for Fru 
 Bang. She would embroider them both her- 
 self, the cloth in the morning, when she sat 
 with Fru Bang and Inga, but the waistcoat 
 only came out when she was alone at night. 
 As she sat working this for her lover, every 
 stitch seemed something between them. But 
 often a fear would start up within her, and 
 her hands would tremble. 
 
 She had not written to her father yet. She
 
 Life 283 
 
 went on hoping that things would right them- 
 selves. Perhaps he would come himself. But 
 every day she hurried up the back stair to 
 hold a whispered conversation with the old 
 charwoman. Things seemed to be going on 
 all right, and it was a comfort to her to be able 
 to send in something nice for him to eat. 
 
 Reidar had to put up with a good deal of 
 teasing from his friends at this time. "Here 
 comes the woman-hater!" they would say. 
 "Yes, you are right; woman is the very devil!" 
 But Reidar would smile and hurry on with a 
 wave of the hand. He was not one to neglect 
 his business because he happened to be going 
 to be married; but the worst of it was that he 
 often had to tear up a long business-letter, be- 
 cause some ridiculous lyric had slipped into 
 it. What was still worse was that he forgot 
 his horse, so that it stood in the stable for three 
 days without exercise. While going through 
 his gymnastic exercises in the morning, he 
 would remember something that might be 
 made prettier downstairs before Astrid came, 
 and he would leave off and run down to see. 
 It vexed him greatly, and he often swore mild-
 
 284. Life 
 
 ly at himself, and called himself an idiot. What 
 was the good now of being afraid that he 
 might have ventured out into pure gambling 
 in his business? He would be careful now, 
 and remember tha;t he was responsible for 
 others beside himself. All his thoughts were 
 centered on bringing things safely to land and 
 being wise. But was it not only nonsense? 
 He must not let the girl make him a coward? 
 And yet he was much better than he had been, 
 and he no longer had the feeling that some- 
 thing invisible was creeping about him and 
 trying to injure him. He had at last trodden 
 it underfoot; he had triumphed, he was free. 
 Ah, what cannot love do! 
 
 There was one person, however, who was 
 not happy just now, and that was Inga. She 
 had to appear to be good friends with Astrid 
 again, but she had been the spoilt child of the 
 house, and now she was always being pushed 
 on one side. It was nothing but Astrid all 
 day long now. And here was she practising 
 how to save and be poor, while the other was 
 actually receiving instruction in being extrav- 
 agant and rich. It was certainly not easy to
 
 Life 285 
 
 be always smiling and look as if everything 
 was alright. 
 
 Today she was hastening down townwards 
 to meet Henrik as he came from his office. 
 Reidar's motor-car had come to fetch Astrid, 
 but she would not accept the invitation to ride 
 with her no, thank goodness, she had feet to 
 walk with ! No one knew that she and Henrik 
 had taken a small flat up in Homansby, and 
 hat it was almost fcomplete. Henrik had 
 made most of the furniture himself. It had 
 been proposed that they should get married the 
 same day as Reidar, but Inga had emphat- 
 ically refused; she would not be tacked on to 
 them for all the world, and they had now de- 
 cided to be married at a registry and then go 
 home quite alone and have dinner. 
 
 There he was ! When he came up, she took 
 his arm and they went off together without 
 any fixed destination. 
 
 "You're so pale again today," she said. 
 H]ave you been disobedient and sitting up 
 last night?" 
 
 He pushed his large felt hat off his face 
 and smiled. "Only a few hours," he said. "I
 
 286 Life 
 
 had an idea the other day, and was working a 
 little at it. What do you think about a new 
 laying-out of Kampen? It's a miserable 
 neighbourhood now with its alleys and huts 
 and all manner of filth ; but it's got a splendid 
 situation, and some day there'll be broad ave- 
 nues with fine houses and gardens and foun- 
 tains up there. Shall we go up now?" 
 
 "I don't think I've got time. Oh yes, though, 
 I can all the same." 
 
 Formerly his brother had been accustomed 
 to go with him on these expeditions, when he 
 went about with his ideas of transforming the 
 town into something great and splendid; but 
 now it was Inga, and the young girl was proud 
 of being allowed to share his ideas, eveiv 
 though it sometimes took her into the most 
 evil-smelling parts of the town. Now and 
 then she would take the opportunity and get 
 him into some archway to give him a kiss. 
 And when he came to the end of a long expla- 
 nation, she would say: "And when are we 
 going to set about it in earnest?" 
 
 There was a little pause before he answered:
 
 Life 287 
 
 "Well that is well it'll scarcely be in our 
 time." 
 
 "What? Won't it be in? Then why are 
 you bothering about it?" 
 
 "It'll be done some day, that you may be 
 sure of. The idea's there, and that's the chief 
 thing." 
 
 "But dear me, we can't live on that, we 
 two!" 
 
 "Oh, nonsense! It won't be difficult to 
 scrape together enough for us to live upon." 
 
 "Well, I shan't want much, Henrik." And 
 so they wandered on, beginning another ro- 
 mance. 
 
 The last Sunday before the wedding, Astrid 
 and Reidar went into the country in the motor 
 up among the Bserum Hills, where they wan- 
 dered about in the woods with a basket be- 
 tween them, and at last encamped under a 
 tree. Astrid laid out a little lunch upon a 
 spread-out rug, and they ate and drank to 
 one another. When they had finished and 
 packed everything into the basket again, they 
 shook out the rug and then lay down on it 
 side by side, she with her head upon his shoul-
 
 288 Life 
 
 der. He could smell the perfume of her hair, 
 as he buried his face in it. Over the tree-tops 
 spread the blue September sky, and a little 
 way off, a hawk hovered motionless with out- 
 stretched wings. 
 
 "Do you know," she said suddenly, "I really 
 don't know you at all." 
 
 "I've thought the same thing. Even when 
 we're together we don't get much idea of one 
 another." 
 
 "Do you believe in fate?" 
 
 He kissed her closed eyelids and answered: 
 "I believe in everything and nothing; but at 
 any rate I believe in you." 
 
 "Is it true that you're so unmerciful to- 
 wards your rivals?" 
 
 "I'll be kinder henceforward," he answered, 
 kissing her on the forehead. She opened her 
 eyes and her hand went up to his hair. 
 
 "What is one person to another?" he con- 
 tinued. "If we could accourit for that, it 
 would be incredible. I love you, but who can 
 say why. Perhaps you're a memory for me, 
 a little bit of sunshine or shade, a glance, a 
 turn of the head. Or perhaps a fear."
 
 Life 289 
 
 "Or a bare heel, a hole in a stocking." 
 
 "What?" 
 
 "You said so once. I conquered you by 
 having a hole in my stocking. Deny it if you 
 can." And she pricked his face with a piece 
 of grass. 
 
 "Do you know it's been prophesied that a 
 woman will be my ruin?" 
 
 "Well, here she is." And she put her arm 
 about his neck, and then, burying her face in 
 his breast, she said: "Oh Reidar, Reidar, you 
 you must bear with me." 
 
 "Bear with you? Oh yes, I almost think 
 I shall be able to manage that." 
 
 She raised her head again, opened her eyes, 
 and looked up into the blue sky. 
 
 "We shall go about a great deal, shan't we? 
 I'll go with you shooting and let all the winds 
 blow right through me; and sailing out to a 
 far-off island, where we can breathe together 
 and let the wind dry us as we lie in the stiff 
 sea-grass. And we'll go out into the world 
 and see all the beautiful things that are to be 
 seen." And she closed her eyes and dreamt
 
 290 Life 
 
 herself away. "Mother," she said to herself. 
 "What do you say to that?" 
 
 Suddenly she sat up, and looked at him 
 almost in fear. "Suppose anything should 
 come in the way!" 
 
 "In the way?" 
 
 "Yes, you often hear of of, for instance, 
 the bride dying the day before the wedding." 
 
 "What nonsense! You've said that once 
 before." 
 
 1 She lay down again, and closed her eyes, her 
 hand on his head. She still had him ; he knew 
 nothing yet. It was as though she lay at the 
 bottom of a boat, drifting down a beautiful 
 river; but wher.e was it going? To close her 
 eyes and let it go yes, but suppose the roar 
 of a waterfall grew louder and louder? 
 
 "Which of your friends are coming to the 
 wedding?" she asked, forcing herself to be 
 calm. 
 
 He mentioned some names; there were 
 many. Holth was among them, and she start- 
 ed. 
 
 "Is he coming too?" 
 
 "It's not certain that he will. He answered
 
 Life 291 
 
 so strangely that I think he probably won't." 
 She lay quiet for a little while. A shiver 
 ran through her. Suppose this with Holth 
 should have consequences that there would be 
 no hope of hiding! The possibility cut like a 
 knife. If it happened, then it meant death. 
 Was this the terrible thing that she felt coming 
 upon her? She opened her eyes, but what she 
 saw was not the trees or the blue sky. It was 
 her mother, far off and yet near, unreal and 
 yet alive, standing smiling at her. "That is 
 how it happened with me, and it will be your 
 fate too. Then we shall be together." And 
 the white figure extended her arms. 
 
 "What are you thinking about?" asked 
 Reidar, turning her face up to his. And again 
 she threw her arms about his neck, and cling- 
 ing to him, moaned: "Reidar! Reidar!"
 
 XV 
 
 SINCE Captain Riis had been alone, much 
 fiad happened; but now it was all over and 
 he began to be quite calm. The night after 
 his children had gone, he wandered about in 
 the woods outside the town. Towards morn- 
 ing it began to rain, and he discovered that he 
 had lost his hat and had only slippers on his 
 feet. When he got home he went to bed, but 
 felt he must get up again. While he was 
 standing gazing down into the yard, a man 
 appeared there. What? The general! Sat- 
 isfaction! Begging for forgiveness! Yes, of 
 course! But it was too late now. The bell 
 rang. He got into bed again. It rang again. 
 He drew the clothes over his head. It rang 
 several times. Let him ring! Later in the 
 afternoon the bell rang again. He had not 
 seen who it was this time, but he guessed. He 
 was still in bed, and did not get up. 
 
 Once in a fight, he had seen a man struck 
 down to the ground several times, but each 
 
 292
 
 Life 293 
 
 time getting up to strike back, and each time 
 paler and bloodier. He got up on to his 
 knees, but was struck down; he raised himself 
 on his elbow and received another blow; at 
 last he only raised his head, still with the hope 
 of revenge in the dull eyes, but the strokes 
 were merciless. He was an old, grey-haired 
 man. Captain Riis had also again and again 
 been struck to the earth, and now he was try- 
 ing for the last time to rise, trying in his way 
 to hit back. He pulled himself together to 
 finish his army-organization scheme ; he would 
 show that he was not crushed yet. One day 
 he really brought it to a conclusion. He brush- 
 ed his faded coat and silk hat, and set out with 
 a packet under his arm. It was a great day. 
 He also obtained an audience with the minis- 
 ter of war, and entered. It was a great mo- 
 ment. 
 
 His speech was a little hesitating, but his 
 eyes shone as he held out his packet. The 
 minister looked astonished, and seemed unwill- 
 ing to take it. "But don't you know," he said, 
 "that the military committee are finished with 
 the army organization? Oh no, Storthing has
 
 294 Life 
 
 not taken it up yet, but when both the larger 
 committee and the Department are agreed 
 about it, a completely new scheme will scarcely 
 be likely to have any influence." The minister 
 turned to the window for a moment, as he 
 stroked his dark moustache. "I may perhaps 
 tell you that we have been positively flooded 
 with new schemes, especially by retired offi- 
 cers." And he smiled to soften the effect of 
 his words. "But you'd better go to the chair- 
 man of the military committee," he concluded 
 evidently to get rid of his visitor. 
 
 With compressed lips, Captain Riis made 
 his way out of the room with his packet. The 
 military committee had often called in General 
 Bang as adviser, and its chairman was a young 
 captain. Should he humble himself and go 
 there too and be sent away? No! But half 
 way up the street he turned. There was still 
 a remnant of hope. He tried to hold himself 
 erect, and went there. 
 
 A couple of hours later the charwoman was 
 busy cleaning the house, when he tottered in, 
 threw the packet on the table and sank into 
 a chair with his hat on. His eyes were blood-
 
 Life 295 
 
 shot and he spoke to himself of things that the 
 old woman did not understand a word of. At 
 last he allowed her to help him into bed, and 
 there he remained for a couple of days. 
 
 But now this was over too. Captain Riis 
 felt that he had passed through his last disap- 
 pointment, and that there was nothing left 
 for him to hope for. He began to busy him- 
 self again with little things, and discovered 
 that he had still legs to walk with. The days 
 were rather long, however. An empty house 
 is an advantage for any one working, but he 
 had nothing to do now. A retired captain is 
 nothing very much, but while he is forming 
 an army-scheme he is more than a general; 
 he becomes a ruler, and his hand is all-power- 
 ful. But now that was all over too. He was 
 once more degraded into an old, crushed man, 
 who could not sleep at night and dared not go 
 out in daylight. He tried to draw for the en- 
 gineer's office, but his hand trembled and his 
 eyes were worse than ever. He had a debt of 
 honour now, and it became clear to him that 
 he must give up all thought of paying it. 
 
 Time really hung upon his hands. He went
 
 296 Life 
 
 to bed at night without having done anything 
 in the day; he got up in the morning without 
 expectation of anything good. He went out 
 at twilight, always with the old fear of meeting 
 at the next corner some one to whom his son 
 owed money. There was no one expecting 
 him when he came home. The bell never rang 
 now, and he began to miss it. 
 
 He would sit for hours at the window, look- 
 ing over the house-roofs. Far off there was 
 a shining church-tower upon which the sun 
 shone, and it gradually became a kind of 
 friend; and he was glad it was an inanimate 
 thing that could not deceive him. 
 
 One day when he went out, he found a 
 bunch of flowers at the door. He took them in 
 to Astrid's room, where the charwoman was 
 not allowed. Everything in it stood as it had 
 stood when she last left it. She had not had 
 time to make the bed, and the pillow still re- 
 tained a hollow where her head had rested, and 
 the mattress where her body had lain. Some 
 clothes hung upon the wall, and a faded pic- 
 ture of her mother ; and a pair of slippers stood 
 by the bed. It still seemed to hold her pres-
 
 Life 297 
 
 ence, and he stood looking from one thing to 
 another until his lips began to tremble. 
 
 Sometimes some dish at dinner tasted par- 
 ticularly good. He often thought he heard a 
 whispering in the kitchen as if there were some 
 one youthful in the house; and when the old 
 woman came in, he thought he could see his 
 daughter's smile upon her face. 
 
 At last there came a letter from Astrid. His 
 glasses often needed wiping while he read it. 
 A day or two later a large printed card came 
 from General Bang, who had the honour to 
 invite him to dinner on the following Satur- 
 day, on the occasion of his son's marriage with 
 Frcken Astrid Riis. He held the card in 
 his thin hands, and he did not laugh scornfully, 
 nor tear it to pieces ; he laid it one side. 
 
 The reason of his calmness was his inability 
 to do anything more. At night he closed his 
 eyes wishing he were never to wake again. He 
 expected nothing from any one else. He him- 
 self was nothing. Life went on, and had 
 enough to do in helping the happy, the strong, 
 the victorious. Now and then some one fell
 
 298 Life 
 
 under the wheels of the triumphal car. What 
 matter if they did? 
 
 "So you're to be a bride on Saturday, As- 
 trid? And many of the bridegroom's family 
 will be there, but none from yours. You'll be 
 alone. So you're going to get married now, 
 Astrid?" 
 
 Looking towards the window, he went on: 
 "Why do I hate General Bang? He kept 
 me from being promoted. Is that certain? 
 A woman. What's a woman? She's a man's 
 life. And what's a life?" He looked at the 
 distant church-tower and sat on. This per- 
 petual hatred, this long plan of revenge, this 
 hope that had kept him up what were they 
 really? 
 
 The next day he turned over the pages of 
 his manuscript not to correct anything, but 
 from an indefinable desire to look into himself. 
 Once he had heard General Bang say that a 
 regiment ought to be in three battalions; he 
 himself suggested four. The general had also 
 once said that a battery should have four guns; 
 he had put six. Why? He closed his eyes, 
 as if to examine himself, then opened them,
 
 Life x 299 
 
 turned over more pages, and closed them 
 again. Why that and that? 
 
 He had not gone to the other and chal- 
 lenged him that time; he did not thrash him. 
 He mobilised instead on paper a whole 
 army. Was it so? He raised thousands of 
 soldiers, divided up brigade-districts, made 
 regiments and batteries, built fortresses here 
 and not there, increased the cavalry, reduced 
 the engineers; it was a life-work. But why? 
 It had been the work of years. Satisfaction? 
 Revenge? The whole Norwegian army was 
 to be reorganised because he himself was un- 
 happy. Does such a thing often happen? Do 
 other men do the same? Each shouts for him- 
 self, wants to take the world for his own use; 
 the voice of one is lost in the noise, another ob- 
 tains a moment or two's hearing, and it is 
 called a victory, it is doing good. What is it? 
 
 The captain laid the papers aside and 
 smiled. He was almost sorry for this great 
 work that patiently mirrored his desire for 
 vain glory. He had had a picture of the world 
 in his head. A wheel goes over it one day, and 
 a world is extinguished. What matter? A
 
 300 Life 
 
 grain of corn falls upon a stone and does not 
 germinate; a planet in space is annihilated. 
 What of that? 
 
 He rose and paced slowly up and down and 
 looked at his thin hands. It was Thursday, 
 and the day after tomorrow little Astrid was 
 to be a bride. He must answer. He felt it 
 impossible to say yes, and still more to say no. 
 Friday came. "If I were to go tomorrow and 
 give away my daughter, I should humble my- 
 self, fall at my enemy's feet. But who am I? 
 One who has done nothing. I cannot pay my 
 debt of honour. Am I any better than a beg- 
 gar?" 
 
 The next morning Captain Riis rose and 
 began to brush up his least faded uniform. 
 He took a scarf and epaulettes too out of a 
 drawer and looked at them. He had once 
 thought of donning his dress uniform once 
 more in his life, and that was on the day when 
 he obtained satisfaction, though how it would 
 all take place had not been quite clear to him. 
 But he had so often recalled what had taken 
 place once when he was serving in a French 
 Regiment. The general called up the happy
 
 Life 301 
 
 man, there was a speech, an order, beating of 
 drums, presenting of arms. It was a recollec- 
 tion, and each one of us has some such indis- 
 tinct fancy, which is at once a recollection and 
 a hope. Had this moment now arrived? 
 
 No, and yet the captain took great trouble 
 in inking over the shiny places on his uniform. 
 It would be the last time he was in full dress. 
 Did he really mean to go to church for little 
 Astrid's sake? To forgive her or the other? 
 Had he then, who was nothing, owned nothing 
 but debts, and whom no one noticed had he 
 anything to give away? 
 
 He put on his uniform ; his boots shone. He 
 looked at himself in the glass. He was well 
 shaved, but his eyes were perhaps redder and 
 his cheeks hollower than they had been. His 
 hair was white. He put on his epaulets and 
 scarf; but as he was about to buckle on his 
 sword, he dropped into a chair and sat lost in 
 thought. 
 
 To forgive ! It was like going to one's own 
 funeral. To give his hand to the general. 
 To go to his home. To look as if nothing were 
 the matter. He had not answered the invita-
 
 302 Life 
 
 tion, but now he was going to confess his 
 weakness. The other would smile and tri- 
 umph. This was his satisfaction ; this was how 
 it was to end. He rose with difficulty and 
 buckled on his sword. He was ready. When 
 the time came for him to go, he put his hand 
 to his collar which seemed to strangle him. 
 Then he went to the door, where he stood for 
 a moment looking back at the rooms where he 
 had suffered much, but where hatred and a 
 dream had kept him up. It was over now, 
 and he was on his way to throw himself under 
 the wheels of the other's chariot ; he was on his 
 way to forgive. He was effacing himself. 
 Present arms!
 
 XVI 
 
 PAUL TANGEN had come to town to be 
 Reidar's best man, and set out in good time 
 for Bygdo, to fetch the bridegroom. After 
 crossing the ferry, he tramped through the 
 yellow woods along the bay, looking across 
 to the town with its wavy masses of houses in 
 the pale autumn sunshine. The season was 
 beginning in there, and he would have to stay 
 for years in the country to work and save. It 
 was enough to make one weep. 
 
 He found Reidar walking up and down his 
 dining-room in full dress. "Help yourself to 
 a cigar and sit down," he said and went on with 
 his walk. Through a window the sun spread 
 a square patch of light on the floor, and now 
 he crossed this patch of light, now went into 
 the shadow beyond it. He put his hand up to 
 his pale, freckled face to feel if he was properly 
 shaved, and then passed it over his short, red 
 hair, pulled down his cuffs over his strong- 
 
 303
 
 304 Life 
 
 looking hands, threw back his shoulders, and 
 continued his walk. 
 
 "You look as if you were going up for an 
 examination," said Tangen, seating himself in 
 a comfortable chair with a cigar. 
 
 "Do I look so serious?" said Reidar, trying 
 to laugh. Tangen continued: "On such a 
 great day as this, I think you might run to a 
 white waistcoat." Reidar stopped short and 
 looked at him, wondering how he could think 
 of anything so unimportant now. 
 
 "I suppose you've been dressed since first 
 thing this morning, and have been having a 
 private settlement with Providence." Reidar 
 looked at him and smiled, and then went on 
 walking a little more slowly than before. "And 
 now you've got to appear before the church, 
 my friend. To tell the truth, I didn't know 
 you were confirmed. Wasn't it then you had 
 a row with your father?" Reidar shook his 
 head. "You gave in that time then?" Reidar 
 nodded. "Then it was when you went to 
 America without any one knowing?" Reidar 
 smiled. "And then shot an Irishman at 
 Klondyke a quarter of a minute before his
 
 Life 305 
 
 knife could reach you." Reidar passed his 
 hand over his forehead and stopped. "Why 
 do you mention that now?" "I'm taking your 
 measure," said Tangen. "I'd rather not be 
 your enemy." Reidar made an impatient gest- 
 ure and began walking up and down again. 
 But suddenly he took a chair, and went and 
 sat down in front of the other. "Now, Paul 
 Tangen, answer me a question." Reidar was 
 evidently a little embarrassed. "Now honestly, 
 do you never feel sorry to have no religion?" 
 "Yes, perhaps." "We human beings are in 
 reality so defenceless." "Yes, we are." "And 
 yet at the same time there's no good in 
 churches and priests." "Why, you're going 
 to church today!" 
 
 Reidar got up and again began his restless 
 walk. "There's music and a vaulted roof, at 
 any rate. But don't you think our descend- 
 ants will have temples that answer a little bet- 
 ter to the universal spirit? I'm dreading to 
 hear the priest speak to Astrid about God and 
 sin in the same breath. Sin! As if the Lord 
 of light and the universe hadn't something bet- 
 ter to do!" "Ah," said Tangen, "you ought
 
 306 Life 
 
 to have had me as your priest. I would have 
 preached about something different." Reidar 
 suddenly thawed, and they both had a good 
 laugh. "Now I must really have a cigar too," 
 he said, as if to shake the whole subject off. 
 
 At the same time Astrid was sitting in her 
 room, holding in her hands a bouquet. Reidar's 
 last present to her in their engagement days. 
 She was to take it to church with her, so it 
 would also be his first in their married life. 
 She had been sitting there for several hours 
 looking at it with a far-away look in her eyes. 
 Of late Astrid had gone through so many emo- 
 tional experiences that she scarcely felt them 
 now. She seemed to turn to them and try to 
 smile. It hurt her a little not having heard 
 yet from her father. The general refused to 
 take any notice of this, and was giving a large 
 party this evening, he was so bent on going 
 his own way. Ah well, she would get over it! 
 And there was something worse, something 
 terrible. Ever since she had fled to Reidar 
 she had had a feeling that her happiness would 
 not continue. It would soon come to an end. 
 And now she knew what it was. That strange
 
 Life 307 
 
 evening 1 on the 'fjord what had happened 
 then it could not be hidden, and it was the 
 same thing as that she could not live. It was 
 an abyss to look down into, but she tried to 
 smile. She would like to have lived with 
 Reidar, but to come to him she had had to de- 
 ceive her father. There was a great price to 
 pay for happiness. She had grown up in a 
 dark house where she had longed for sunshine 
 and youth ; but to get them she always had to 
 tell untruths and deceive; sunshine was so 
 dear! It must have been the same with her 
 mother. Had not the fate of that dead mother 
 enticed her farther and farther, and at last 
 dragged her with her? Well, there was no 
 help for it now. 
 
 "Dear Reidar, so we are to be married to- 
 day." She knew in her own mind that that 
 time on the fjord it was only a dream about 
 Reidar. She closed her eyes and called him 
 to her. It was his neck round which she 
 threw her arms. It was to him she gave her 
 soul. The dream about Reidar was beautiful 
 the other was death. Astrid raised the flow-
 
 308 Life 
 
 ers to her face for a moment, then let them 
 fall again with the same far-away look. 
 
 "Now, child, we must make haste," said Fru 
 Bang, coming in with the dressmaker. Her 
 dress was produced from a cardboard box. It 
 was white silk embroidered with gold, so light 
 and airy that she looked as if she were clothed 
 in light. Then Inga came in, dressed in pale 
 yellow silk, and with white flowers in her hair. 
 She also had a little box, out of which she now 
 took the green myrtle wreath. For a moment 
 the two friends stood looking at one another. 
 Inga smiled as if she were asking forgiveness 
 for something, and at last she said: "Do you 
 object to my putting this on for you, Astrid?" 
 "No," said Astrid. "Who else do you think 
 I should wish to do it?" So Inga took up the 
 wreath, and fastened it to Astrid's golden hair, 
 and the two girls kissed one another. 
 
 Fru Bang fastened upon Astrid's breast a 
 tiny gold watch set with diamonds. "It is 
 from Reidar," she said, and then took from 
 her own arm a bracelet of lava, and placed it 
 upon the bride's, saying: "That is from me, 
 or perhaps today you would like it to be from
 
 Life 309 
 
 your mother." Astrid threw her arms about 
 her neck. 
 
 The next moment the door opened and the 
 old grandmother entered, dressed in black silk, 
 and with her stick. She put up her veil, and 
 after looking at Astrid for a little while, ex- 
 claimed, "Ah, Reidar knows how to choose!" 
 A ruby cross was hanging on a gold chain 
 round her neck, and this she now took off and 
 fastened round the bride's neck, saying as she 
 did so: "Take my blessing with it, my child. 
 My grandmother, my mother and myself all 
 wore it as brides. May you also one day put it 
 round your grandchild's neck." And she 
 kissed the bride on both cheeks. Astrid tried 
 to thank her, and then looked at herself in the 
 glass with all this finery on, and smiled as 
 before. 
 
 A wedding such as this gathers a number of 
 spectators, and there was already a large 
 crowd round Frogner Church. Carriages 
 drove up, and the wedding-guests got out and 
 went into the church. There was a stir when 
 a particularly bridal-looking carriage and pair 
 drove up, but it contained two gentlemen, the
 
 310 Life 
 
 bridegroom and the best man. The two tall 
 men raised their hats. 
 
 As Reidar walked up the church, he looked 
 about him as if he had never been in a church 
 before. There were onlookers in the pews, 
 and up in the choir sat relatives and friends, 
 who nodded to him; but he bent his head and 
 made no response. It was all so solemn in this 
 silence and the light from the coloured win- 
 dows. He recalled the emotions he had felt 
 during the summer. Today they were to be 
 sung out in hymns and borne up by the organ. 
 The old clerk, in a black skull-cap, showed 
 them to a bench opposite which was another 
 which he knew was for the bride. 
 
 "Who's that old officer down there?" whis- 
 pered Tangen. They both looked down the 
 dimly-lighted church. An old, white-haired 
 officer had just come in and taken up a posi- 
 tion behind a pillar, as if he did not want to 
 be seen. He looked at the two men, and his 
 eyes looked keen and red. The bridegroom 
 shook his head. He did not know him. 
 
 But the bride would soon be here, and it 
 seemed to Reidar that something wonderful
 
 Life 911 
 
 must happen then. The great nave seemed 
 breathless, people sat motionless, and the clerk 
 put on his spectacles and began to turn over 
 the leaves of his hymn-book. What now? 
 
 Suddenly the organ burst out, and the 
 vaulted roof was filled with its tones. The 
 whole congregation rose, and at the door at the 
 bottom of the church appeared the general 
 with his gold epaulets and orders, holding in 
 one hand his plumed hat, and by his side some- 
 thing white the bride. 
 
 Reidar never forgot that moment. A wave 
 of emotion passed over him, and he felt as if 
 he must get hold of something to cling to. 
 That white figure was supernatural. She did 
 not seem to walk; she floated. His father, 
 who was leading her, now looked so splendid 
 that he felt he ought never to have opposed 
 him. At that moment the church was more 
 than a place of beautiful music, and a good 
 old man who was there and looked kindly at 
 them both was the far-off, universal spirit. 
 And he felt himself so unworthy, so humble, 
 that he involuntarily bowed his head and whis-
 
 312 Life 
 
 pered to himself: "If I have sinned much, 
 O God, forgive me!" 
 
 General Bang was seventy, hut he walked 
 lightly and easily, as if he himself were the 
 bridegroom; and upon his cheerful face was a 
 look as if something from long ago had once 
 more become young and living. . 
 
 Suddenly his eyes fell upon the white-haired 
 captain, and he gazed curiously at him. The 
 captain had risen behind his pillar, and was 
 looking at the two. The general started, but 
 noticing that the bride had fortunately seen 
 nothing, he led her to her place opposite the 
 bridegroom, took his sword in his hand, and 
 sat down beside her. 
 
 Astrid looked across at Reidar and smiled, 
 but for a moment he felt unable to smile back. 
 Then she looked about the church, as if seek- 
 ing some of her own people, but finding none 
 she again smiled at Reidar, and raised her 
 bouquet to her face. 
 
 The ceremony did not take long. The priest 
 was by no means a young man, but every time 
 he had to address the bride, he seemed to lose 
 the thread and had to pull himself together.
 
 Life 313 
 
 It was too bad that she should smile like that 
 when she looked at him. When the pair knelt 
 and she gave her hand to Reidar, she did not 
 look at him, but at the coloured light from the 
 window, as if she were being wedded to it. 
 
 As the general walked with his wife after 
 the bridal pair down the church, he looked 
 anxiously for the old officer behind the pillar. 
 He was afraid of a scene if the bride discov- 
 ered him. But the stranger was gone, and the 
 general felt relieved. While the organ poured 
 forth its tones, the couple passed out of the 
 church; but there the bride suddenly stopped 
 and clung to Reidar. The couples following 
 down the aisle came to a standstill. What was 
 it ? People got on to the benches to see better ; 
 others tried to force their way out. 
 
 Astrid had caught sight of her father, and 
 for a moment almost took him for a ghost. 
 Her eyes opened wide, and she felt as if she 
 should faint; she wanted to call for help, and 
 could scarcely stand. Her father approached, 
 and she saw his hair was white, but he had 
 made himself as smart as he could. His face 
 was almost unrecognisable, but he smiled and
 
 314 Life 
 
 saluted. He did it to her. He meant no 
 harm; and the next moment the bride had 
 rushed to him and thrown her arms about his 
 neck, crying: "Father! Father!" 
 
 The organ still went on playing in the 
 church, but the crowd could get no farther. 
 Only those outside saw the old officer take the 
 bride in his arms. For a moment it looked as 
 if he were going to carry her away. The 
 bridegroom gazed at the stranger, but know- 
 ing who it was, did not interfere. 
 
 "I forgive you!" whispered Captain Riis, 
 smiling at his daughter. "There now! Try 
 to stand up ! How fine you are today! I only 
 came to congratulate you." And he smiled 
 with the tears running down his cheeks. 
 
 The bride could stand again now, and she 
 turned to Reidar, but at this moment the gen- 
 eral pressed forward, and clasped Captain Riis 
 by the hand, saying in a voice loud enough 
 for all to hear: "Dear old friend, how nice of 
 you to come after all! Are you better now? 
 Now let's be getting on!" The old captain 
 stood erect and saluted the general, after 
 which he allowed himself to be led away. The
 
 ^ Life 315 
 
 whole incident had only occupied a minute ; the 
 carriages drove up, and the general arranged 
 so that he and the captain should drive to- 
 gether alone. And there they sat side by side, 
 rolling along after the bridal carriage. The 
 captain smiled and spoke respectfully, and 
 was then lost beside the other. They were of 
 the same age, they had been school-fellows; 
 and now one of them sat there, healthy and 
 strong, magnificent in plumes, gold epaulets 
 and orders, while the other was worn and 
 white-haired, with dark ink-spots on his breast 
 where orders might have hung. But the happy 
 man has his shadow, and at this moment it was 
 evident that General Bang had his. 
 
 All the windows in the pretty house on 
 Drammens Road were lighted up that eve- 
 ning, and a number of people gathered out- 
 side, to see what was going on. A window was 
 open, and they could hear speeches, and after- 
 wards music and dancing. 
 
 Captain Riis had the general's wife on his 
 right at dinner, and the bride on his left. 
 Everything seemed swimming in a golden 
 mist. There were flowers and champagne and
 
 316 Life 
 
 his daughter a bride, and his enemy proposing 
 his health. It was something like satisfaction ! 
 In the dance that followed, he led out Fru 
 Bang to dance, and then his daughter. It was 
 long since he had danced, and it was quite 
 strange. Afterwards he had to rest. He saw 
 the general dancing with Astrid, and a mem- 
 ory suddenly darted into his mind of some- 
 thing similar having happened once before. 
 He could see now how like Astrid was to her 
 mother. But be calm all is past! 
 
 He had only drunk one glass of champagne, 
 but the day had been too much for him; his 
 head sank back against the sofa-back, and 
 then he knew he was being helped into a room 
 with a soft bed, in which it was pleasant to 
 sleep. 
 
 Under a tree in the shadow beyond the zone 
 of light that fell from the windows of the house 
 on to the street stood a bench on which sat a 
 man with his hat drawn down over his eyes. 
 He knew that hours were passing, and that it 
 was late ; but he still sat on with his eyes upon 
 the house. He was waiting for something. 
 Some people seek a certain pain as others seek
 
 Life 317 
 
 pleasure^ and this man wanted to see the bride 
 drive away with another man. 
 
 At last a motor-car came up, and he recog- 
 nised it. It stopped outside the house and 
 waited, and in a little while two figures came 
 out. He rose and gazed at them. He recog- 
 nised Reidar; and the other, who was wrapped 
 in a dark shawl with something white below it, 
 must be she. They got in; he could see the 
 white at the window; the horn sounded and 
 they glided away. He stood looking after 
 them until their light was lost in the darkness, 
 and then with bent head he began to walk 
 briskly without noticing where he went. 
 
 It was over. Jorgen Holth had a feeling 
 as of having had a tooth drawn, and now it 
 was to be hoped things would go on better 
 again. A wave had taken him and lifted him 
 high up into the light and then dropped him 
 head foremost into darkness; and now he was 
 once more on land. It was all over, and at 
 last he found himself upon the familiar road 
 from the school to his dull home. "Life is 
 strange," he thought, when he found himself 
 on his way home. He recalled how last win-
 
 318 Life 
 
 ter he had begun to lose all feeling both for 
 ideas and people, and how youth had come, 
 the visit of a sunbeam, the kiss of a fairy ; and 
 he had waked, clung to the fairy and deceived 
 his wife and children; he became young, felt 
 hope spring up within him, and began literary 
 composition again. And his worn, untidy 
 wife began to smile ; his kisses that were warm 
 with thoughts of another made her faded 
 cheek glow. She began to keep the house 
 cleaner, managed to dress better, and grew 
 young again under his false warmth ; she read 
 papers and books so as to have something to 
 talk with him about; she woke up more and 
 more, as if her youth had only been asleep. 
 Once he thought it was horrible, and would 
 have liked to tell her to leave off, but it was 
 different when he was crushed. Then it was 
 not so easy to reject her tenderness, and they 
 were strange days that followed. He was 
 angry and scolded about everything, and she 
 only smiled and was always in a good temper. 
 He walked up and down at night and said he 
 was tired and could see no way of getting on; 
 and she sat up with him, trying to encourage
 
 Life 319 
 
 him, and forcing herself to look at things in a 
 bright light only to calm him. He could not 
 scold her; he had to kiss her out of pity. 
 She became a heroine under these kisses, and 
 it ended with his clinging to her, not because 
 he hungered for youth, but because he felt a 
 desire to thank, to expiate, to ask forgiveness. 
 
 The evil days began to fade into the back- 
 ground; and nothing brought such rest to his 
 mind as closing his eyes at night with his wife's 
 hand in his. 4 
 
 He had been now to bid a last farewell to 
 the past. Youth belonged to youth. It had 
 to be borne, and he would harden himself by 
 seeing them go away together, and try to be 
 strong from that day. 
 
 It was done now. His wife could not know 
 where he was so late, but she waited for him. 
 She was waiting for a good-night kiss, wait- 
 ing for the hand from his bed, and for the 
 certainty that he slept. 
 
 Holth unlocked the street door. There was 
 a close smell on the stairs, but he said to him- 
 self that some day it would be better. He 
 entered the hall, and knew that the air there
 
 320 Life 
 
 was as fresh as Selma could possibly make it. 
 He thought of his books that perhaps would 
 never be finished. There was no help for that ; 
 it was something to work for his wife and chil- 
 dren, and duty was something too. And he 
 was not old yet ; he might still have time for a 
 good deal. 
 
 And he had a memory in his heart that was 
 wonderful and that would never die. 
 
 "Is that you, Jorgen?" said a voice as he 
 entered the bedroom.
 
 XVII 
 
 THE only being who could bend General 
 Bang's will was Inga. She begged, she sat 
 on his knee and caressed him, she sulked, she 
 wept, and at last she threatened; and when it 
 was all of no avail she took to her bed. It 
 ended in her getting her way in what Henrik 
 and she considered a point of honour. They 
 were allowed to be married by the magistrate 
 quite quietly, with only her parents and two 
 witnesses present. Afterwards they went and 
 ate their wedding dinner alone in their own 
 little home, taking turns in waiting upon one 
 another. 
 
 There followed some wonderful days, when 
 they went out together to buy the things for 
 dinner, when he carried the parcels home, and 
 she boiled and fried, and he helped her to wash 
 up. He had saved a couple of hundred krones, 
 and even if it meant starving and living on a 
 penny a day, they were both agreed that the 
 
 321
 
 322 Life 
 
 money had to last until he got a house to 
 build. 
 
 Henrik always thought that the general 
 and all the family considered him quite un- 
 worthy of the young girl, and he supposed 
 they were only waiting now until they had to 
 help them. Well, they might wait ! Inga was 
 wholly on his side, and meant to do without a 
 servant and do everything herself, even if it 
 went on for years. 
 
 Now when they went out together, they no 
 longer discussed the rebuilding of the various 
 blocks, for they had long ago decided what 
 the town was to look like. They went about 
 to discover the cheapest greengrocer, the most 
 reasonable butcher; they discussed the ques- 
 tion as to whether fish were not more nourish- 
 ing than meat, and whether carrots were not 
 better than anything else. They were agreed 
 that people ate too much, and were determined 
 to show that one could be healthy and happy; 
 with little. 
 
 The tall, pale man, and the slender, dark 
 girl went about arm in arm, apparently blind 
 to the fact that people lived round about them.
 
 Life 323 
 
 She was still the well-dressed daughter of a 
 general, and carried herself well as if she were 
 only for show. No one was to see that her 
 back was often a little stiff with scrubbing 
 floors, and her hands both red and swollen. 
 The parcels that they carried home were a 
 little lighter each day. Everything in the 
 little three-roomed flat, with its view, over 
 house-tops, of the fjord, was spotlessly clean 
 and tidy, the chairs and sofa were in a new 
 style created by the master himself, the table- 
 cloths and curtains had been woven by Inga 
 in their engagement-days, and in the outer 
 room a large table strewn with drawings, in 
 case any one should come. They were always 
 waiting for some one to ring and come in and 
 order a house; but they had agreed to say to 
 the first that came that unfortunately Henrik 
 was overloaded with work, and would have a 
 difficulty in undertaking anything more. 
 
 He wrote an article on how much cheaper 
 it is to build pretty houses than ugly ones, and 
 it was really printed in a paper. He expected 
 an answer from some one, but when none 
 came he wrote one himself under another
 
 324 Life 
 
 name, so that he could appear once more un- 
 der his own. The thing was to get one's self 
 known a little. Afterwards they waited trem- 
 bling for steps on the stair and the ringing of 
 the bell. He had submitted to the town cor- 
 poration plans for a handsome block of work- 
 people's flats, and to private companies plans 
 for a villa-suburb. He waited for their an- 
 swers and he got them; but they were "No," 
 and in the evening they went to sleep in one 
 another's arms, she in tears, and he with com- 
 pressed lips. The bell did ring, but it was 
 their relations come to see them. There were 
 steps on the stairs, but they were only mes- 
 sengers with bills. Things began to look dark, 
 but they rose every morning with renewed 
 hope, and accustomed themselves to do with- 
 out coffee at breakfast and after dinner, and 
 never thought of having a sweet to dinner. 
 Inga toiled and washed and scoured heroically, 
 and shed a few tears in secret, but laughed 
 and kept up her husband's courage when they 
 were together. 
 
 One day he was standing, sleeves turned
 
 Life 325 
 
 up, helping Inga to iron his collars, when the 
 bell rang. 
 
 "Hurry up!" said Inga. "That is some- 
 body, for mother never comes so early." 
 
 Henrik dried his hands, turned down his 
 sleeves and put on his coat, and went rather 
 anxiously to open the door. Inga could hear 
 it was a man who came in. Henrik was a long 
 time in the next room, and it sounded as if a 
 discussion were going on. She tiptoed to the 
 door and listened with beating heart, but could 
 catch nothing. At last the stranger left, and 
 Henrik rushed in, crying: "Where are you?" 
 He ran to her, took her in his arms and car- 
 ried her round the room. "Don't be so silly!" 
 cried Inga. "But tell me what it was." 
 "You're my little wife, and the prettiest in 
 the world, and I'm your husband, and it's all 
 just splendid!" "No, no, don't! You can 
 kiss me afterwards! Tell me what it is!" 
 "An Englishman, a Croesus, who wants a 
 large house in Asker." "Oh dear ! I suppose 
 you didn't say no?" "I really couldn't! Was 
 it wrong of me ?" "Why of course not ! Now 
 we must have a dinner to celebrate it." "Yes,
 
 326 Life 
 
 and today I've still got time to help you. 
 Come along! I'll stand treat for beer." 
 "And I for a pudding." "And I for coffee." 
 "And I for a cigar." And they danced about 
 the room, kissing one another, delighted, ra- 
 diant with youth. 
 
 There are often beautiful days in October, 
 too, days when the scarlet rowan trees and 
 yellow aspens lift their dying colours against 
 a background of blue fjord and green fir- 
 woods. Out at Astrid and Reidar's it was 
 very peaceful now that the relations left them 
 to themselves. In the twilight, when he came 
 home from the office, they went along the 
 shore together, and looked at the water and 
 the red-brown hills above Baekkelaget, at the 
 ships coming in, and at the strip of red sky 
 far out. 
 
 They had once agreed to have a wedding- 
 trip to England, where Reidar had business to 
 transact; but Astrid said she would rather 
 wait, and the journey was put off. 
 
 It seemed as if he did not know her so well 
 now; she seemed to be slipping out of his
 
 Life 827 
 
 hands, moving away into regions where he 
 could not follow her, avoided his caresses, and 
 yet was more tender, more devoted, and pret- 
 tier than she had ever been. 
 
 The housekeeper, who had dreaded being 
 dismissed when the young mistress came, was 
 still allowed to manage the house. Astrid was 
 late in rising, and ate her food without no- 
 ticing what it consisted of, and then wandered 
 from room to room and looked at all the beau- 
 tiful things with the same distant smile. Was 
 she not only a guest here? She would soon 
 have to go away. 
 
 She went to see her father in the little back- 
 yard flat, and thought it darker than ever; 
 she went into the little kitchen, and was 
 touched at the sight of the big copper kettle 
 and the few utensils. The captain was kind, 
 but he walked about as if he could not settle 
 anywhere. 
 
 One day Reidar prepared a surprise for her. 
 He came driving out with her father, and 
 after them came a little load of furniture. 
 The old man was to live in his daughter's 
 house, and was given a pretty room on the
 
 328 Life 
 
 first floor. Astrid put her arms round her 
 husband's neck and said he was too kind. 
 
 "Perhaps it'll make you laugh a little 
 oftener, will it?" he asked. 
 
 "Yes, perhaps." 
 
 So Captain Riis was installed in a beautiful 
 house, where he had to dress better, and where 
 he could manage to pay off his debts ; and he 
 could smoke as many pipes as he liked. He 
 could at last go for a walk in broad daylight 
 without fear of meeting a creditor, and he no 
 longer smarted with vexation, hatred and 
 plans for revenge that kept him awake at 
 night. And yet it was strange to get up and 
 begin a day. He had nothing to hope for. 
 He was comfortable ; but had been forced into 
 it, as it were; he had not won it for himself, 
 it was not what he had merited. There werei 
 times when he sat with bowed head and a feel- 
 ing of shame. 
 
 Once the general suddenly entered the 
 room, and the captain involuntarily rose to 
 salute. The general put his hands on his 
 shoulders and pressed him into a chair, called 
 him "dear friend," and overflowed with kind-
 
 Life 329 
 
 ness. The captain tried to be natural in re- 
 turn, but was only respectful. This mortal 
 enemy, who had done him so much harm, but 
 who had always lived in the sunshine, so 
 dazzled him when at close quarters that he 
 felt exceedingly small. The captain liked 
 best to be alone in his room, when he tried to 
 withdraw into himself; but after all it was 
 only to find painful memories, the ruins of a 
 hatred and a hope, and besides, nothing. At 
 last he took to reading, the first book being 
 General Marbot's Reminiscences. This was 
 quite in his line, and his own youthful dreams 
 lived again. He had once hoped himself to 
 gain victories and pass through vanquished 
 towns. Now he read of Napoleon and his gen- 
 erals, and lost himself in the brilliant life for 
 which he had himself been intended; and the 
 world around him was blotted out entirely. 
 
 In a happy moment, Reidar proposed that 
 he should begin to ride. It was a great day 
 when, in uniiorm, he mounted the beautiful 
 horse and trotted through the wood. He was 
 a little stiff at first, but that went off; and 
 now he had his war-reading and riding, and
 
 330 Life 
 
 the one supplemented the other. Every time 
 he mounted, he had a feeling of having risen 
 after all, that he was a staff -officer and was 
 setting off for the manoeuvres. He discov- 
 ered strategic points in the country around, 
 and began to imagine the battles of which he 
 read being fought before his eyes. If now 
 Kutusov had drawn up the Russian army dif- 
 ferently at Austerlitz, in such a way, for in- 
 stance. Another day he led Napoleon's left 
 wing at Jena, and swords flashed and cannon 
 thundered. It sometimes became so real to 
 him that he would point with his hand as if 
 giving commands to an aide-de-camp; and 
 sometimes he would suddenly put the horse 
 into a gallop to hasten to the aid of some hard- 
 pressed regiment. 
 
 People walking about Bygdo began to get 
 accustomed to this solitary rider, white-haired 
 and in a faded uniform, who talked to him- 
 self, and would suddenly galk x ) up on to a 
 hill to arrange something or other. The Oc- 
 tober wind blew clouds of yellow leaves across 
 the fields, and the horseman stood out against
 
 Life 331 
 
 the sky, motionless, with outstretched hand, a 
 living monument in the wind. 
 
 Astrid was anxious every time she saw him 
 ride away, but Reidar assured her that the 
 horse was steady, and that there was no 
 danger. 
 
 One moonlight evening, when the trees 
 along the bay sparkled with frost, the newly- 
 married couple were walking along the shore 
 stopping every now and then to look at the 
 lights of the harbour and town. Astrid went 
 down to the water, stooped and put her finger 
 in. 
 
 "I hope you're not thinking of bathing?" 
 said Reidar. 
 
 "It's not really cold," she said, smiling and 
 coming back. He took her arm and drew her 
 on. "I remember," he said, "the first time I 
 saw you. You weren't so pretty then as you 
 are now." 
 
 "And I remember when I saw you in the 
 air on skis," she said, turning towards him. 
 "Always afterwards, when I was in the dark 
 kitchen at home, and thought of sun and blue 
 sky, it was of you I thought."
 
 332 Life 
 
 "Perhaps you'd like to go up there for a 
 little now. We can take a maid and live there 
 quite quietly." 
 
 She turned and looked towards the distant 
 hills in the moonlight, as if her thoughts had 
 flown there where they had met that Easter, 
 and were going through it all again. Then 
 she shook her head. "No, Reidar, not now. 
 You mustn't mind, but I can't now." 
 
 "I can't think what's the matter with you, 
 Astrid. You used to be so well and happy, 
 and could never do too much, and now you 
 don't care about anything. It must be my 
 fault. I often wonder how I can change my- 
 self so as to be what you like." 
 
 "But, dear, you can't mean that! It's I 
 who am impossible. But you must bear with 
 me a little longer." And she clung to him, 
 full of tenderness, a soft warmth, without 
 fire. 
 
 What was he to do? At table she would 
 fix her eyes upon him, far-away yet piercing, 
 as if she wanted to imprint his image upon her 
 memory. She never laughed; she smiled. 
 Her hands were now white and pretty, and
 
 Life 333 
 
 they often stroked his hair, or they were 
 folded about his neck or his arm. It was de- 
 lightful, but it was not enough. He proposed 
 teaching her to ride, taking a trip to Paris, 
 going to the theatre, or for a motor-car ride, 
 but it was always No; she would rather be at 
 home and sit still and look at him without 
 speaking. The only thing that roused her was 
 accounts of his travels, of shooting expedi- 
 tions, of exciting sails and races. She would 
 lie on the sofa with closed eyes, her hands 
 clasped behind her head, smiling and saying 
 every now and then: "Go on! It's lovely!" 
 Once she said: "Have you ever shot an 
 eagle?" 
 
 "Yes, once." 
 
 "Did it cry when it was struck up in the 
 air?" 
 
 "I shot it with a bullet. I didn't hear 
 whether it made any sound. But it scratched 
 me badly on the hand. There's the mark 
 still." 
 
 She took his hand and kissed the white scar 
 left by the bird's claws, then lay back on the 
 cushion and looked up at the ceiling.
 
 334 Life 
 
 , "There are people who believe that after 
 death one can be what one likes," she said 
 presently. "A bird, for instance. Suppose 
 they were right?" 
 
 "Well, what then?" 
 
 "I was thinking of mother. If she could 
 choose, perhaps she would be sailing about 
 somewhere or other in the clouds like an 
 eagle." 
 
 Reidar was walking up and down the room 
 in the lamplight. He looked at her askance 
 and did not know what to answer. She was 
 once more in regions to which he was a 
 stranger. 
 
 When Astrid was alone at home, she would 
 say to herself: "All this about mother can 
 only be a morbid fancy." But then she would 
 shake her head. Years before she had begun 
 to say her evening prayers to the dead mother 
 whom she missed, and the mother had become 
 like a living being to her, a voice within her to 
 comfort her and guide her. She knew now 
 that it had been her mother who wanted her 
 to go to the mountains at Easter, who encour- 
 aged her to love Reidar; and the more there
 
 Life 335 
 
 was that bound her to the dead mother, the 
 greater desire did she feel to share her fate. 
 It was going to happen now. She had lived 
 as her mother had lived; she must die for the 
 same reason, and she supposed in the same 
 way. There was no help for that. And the 
 nearer the time came, the more she felt her- 
 self one with the dead. She recalled one little 
 thing after another, and involuntarily began 
 to do the same. She sat at the window one 
 day, looking at the sun, and she remembered 
 that her mother had prayed to it when other 
 people were going to church; and she folded 
 her own hands. She hunted up the old flute, 
 and would sit playing it for a long time in the 
 quiet house. She remembered her mother's 
 last sail, and Reidar's boat on the beach be- 
 came a friend to whom she often went. There 
 were times, indeed, when she was no longer 
 certain whether her mother and she were not 
 the same person. 
 
 Then one day Fru Bang came with an elder- 
 ly man whom she introduced as a friend, Dr. 
 Falk. Astrid suspected a plot, and dared not 
 look him in the face, although he was kind and
 
 336 Life 
 
 only spoke on matters of general interest ; but 
 when they were gone, she remained sitting 
 lost in thought, with her usual smile. There 
 was no putting it off any longer. When 
 Reidar came home, she looked closely at him, 
 but noticed nothing unusual. She was glad, 
 and that evening she promised to go with him 
 to the mountains, to Paris, wherever he liked. 
 She was well now. He seemed delighted, but 
 now and then looked curiously at her when she 
 was not looking. 
 
 That night she slept upon his shoulder. 
 She listened to the beating of a heart that 
 seemed strong enough to beat for ever; and 
 now and then she passed her hand softly over 
 his hair. 
 
 In the morning, when he bent over her as 
 usual in bed to say good-bye before going to 
 the office, she held his face before her for a 
 long time, as if she were trying to take in his 
 features and remember them. 
 
 "Good-bye, dear!" 
 
 "Good-bye, Astrid! I'll telephone from 
 the office some time during the morning."
 
 Life 337, 
 
 His steps died away, and she lay listening to 
 them until they ceased. 
 
 It was a grey autumn day, with gusts of 
 wind darkening the surface of the water; and 
 when Astrid, later in the morning, asked the 
 man to get the boat ready, he hesitated and 
 proposed going with her. 
 
 "No," said Astrid. "I'm going to fetch my 
 husband; and you know I'm a sailor." 
 
 The man, an elderly, grey-bearded man, did 
 at last as she desired, but kept looking up at 
 the grey bank of cloud in the north. 
 
 At last she was in the boat, the sails filled, 
 and she sped across the bay. Astrid was well 
 wrapped up and held the rudder, while the 
 wind ruffled her hair. She looked back smil- 
 ing to the shore, where the man stood watch- 
 ing her. He could see now. Gusts of wind 
 took the sails, but it was too early yet, and 
 she stood out over the fjord. A large steamer 
 came towards her, but she would pass that. 
 The gulls cried and sailed on the wind. She 
 remembered the little kitchen with the smells 
 from the back yard. Now she drew deep 
 breaths of the fresh sea- wind, and felt her face
 
 338 Life 
 
 glow with the salt spray. She looked at the 
 sky with its grey, rolling clouds, where storm 
 and sunshine would always follow one an- 
 other, and beyond lay hills and mountains al- 
 ready white with snow. Easter, youth, a man 
 in the air on skis! 
 
 Suddenly she started. High up there was 
 a grey streak in the clouds. It was a solitary 
 eagle. Did it see her? 
 
 Later that morning Reidar was standing in 
 his office dictating a letter, and strolled to the 
 window for a moment to consider. He looked 
 across the open square towards the cavalry 
 barracks, and noticed a troop of soldiers in 
 white jackets just turning into the square on 
 their steaming horses. Then he heard the 
 tramp of hoofs and the calls of the men. 
 
 "Telephone!" said a voice behind him. He 
 went and put the apparatus to his ear. It 
 was the housekeeper's voice. 
 
 "What? What?" And a little later: 
 "Your mistress? When?" 
 
 The voice still went on, and suddenly he 
 turned pale. The hand holding the apparatus
 
 Life 339 
 
 trembled, but he kept it to his ear and went 
 on listening. "Send the car!" he said at last 
 and rang off. 
 
 He woulo 1 not make a display of his emo- 
 tion before his clerks, and therefore forced 
 himself to continue the dictation of his letter. 
 The motor-car must soon be there. But its 
 horn had not sounded when he had finished, 
 so he began to dictate another letter. Once 
 more he had a feeling of something invisible 
 that wanted to force him on to his knees, but 
 he would try to stand. 
 
 At last the horn sounded, and he took up 
 his hat and hurried down. A few questions 
 put to the chauffeur were enough. He got in 
 and pressed his hat down upon his forehead; 
 and the yellow car started, turned the corner, 
 and sped more and more quickly through the 
 town.
 
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