1 E D W A--& D, VARIOUS VIEWS HUMAN NATURE, TAKEN From LIFE and MANNERS, Chiefly in ENGLAND. Dicimus autem Hos quoque Felices, qui ferre incommoda vitz, Nee jaftare jugum, vita didicere magiftra. j uy. By the AUTHOR of ZELUCO. IN TWO VOLUMES. VOL. I. LONDON: Printed for A. STRAHAN, and T. CADELE jun. and W. DAVIES (Succefibrs to Mr. CADELL) in the Strand, MTCCSCTl, - D W A R VOL. I. E D W 'A R D. CHAP. I. The Sympathy of a benevolent MM. MRS. BARNET, wife of Mr. George Barnet, who lived at no great dif- tance from London, had been in town to put her daughter to a boarding fchool. She had taken a poft-chaife, that the chariot might remain for the ufe of her huf- band, whofe conftant cuftom it was to drive out every day before dinner, to acquire an appetite, the only fenfible reafon- which, in Mr. Barnet's opinion, any man in eafy circumftances could have for being at the trouble of exercife. VOL. i. B As 2 EDWARD. As Mrs. Barnet returned from town, the poft-chaife broke down in the middle of the road a ftage-coach came up at the inftant that Mrs. Barnet and her maid had got fafely out of the poft-chaife ; the coachman knew Mrs. Barnet, and his cou'rfe being directly through a village contiguous to her huf- band's houfe, he ftopp'd, and offered to fet her down at her own door. Mrs. Barnet perceiving that it would take a confiderable time before the chaife could be mended, agreed to the coachman's propofal, and de- fired her maid to put a fmall bundle into the coach. "Lard, madam," cried the maid, as Toon as me had peeped into the coach, " here is a frightful old woman and a beggarly look- ing boy you cannot poflibly go in here." " As for the old woman and the boy,'* faid the coachman, " although they are fitting within, they are no more than outfide paf- fengers for as ill luck would have it, I chanced to have none within; fo when the rain came on, I took pity on the boy, and defired him to take fhelter in the coach, which EDWARD. 3 which he refufed, unlefs the old woman was allowed to go in alfo ; fo as the boy, you fee, is a very pretty boy, I could not bear that he fhould be expofed to the rain, and fo I was obliged to let in both ; but now, to be fure, if her ladyfhip infifts on it, they muft both go on the outfide, which will be no great hardfhip, for it begins to grow fair." " Fair or foul, they muft get out directly," faid the maid ; " do you imagine that my miftrefs will fit with fuch creatures as thefe, more particularly in fuch a dirty machine r" " Hark you, young woman," faid the coachman, '' you may fay of the old woman and the boy what you pleafe, they do not belong to me ; but as for the coach, it is my coach, and I would have you to know, bears as good a reputation as any on the road, perhaps a better than your own ; fo I would not advife you for to go for to flurify the character of thofe who are faying nothing againft yours : But as for you, my dear, you muft come out," continued he, B 2 taking 4 EDWARD. taking the boy by the arm, " fmce this here gentlewoman infifts upon it." " By no means," faid Mrs. Barnet ; " let the child remain, and the woman alfo; there is room for us all." So faying, fhe ftepped into the coach ; the maid followed, and the coachman drove on. This arrangement was highly difagree- able to the maid, who feemed greatly mor- tified at being feated near a woman fo mean- ly drefled^ Mrs. Barnet, on the other hand, was pleaf- ed with the opportunity of accommodating the poor woman and boy for this lady was of a benevolent difpofition, and although fhe was likewife mod uncommonly free from vanity, yet if all the maid's ftock had T)een divided between them, the miflrefs and maid together would have made a couple of very vain women. Mrs. Barnet was in rather low fpirits,. owing to her being feparated now, for the firft time in her life, from her daughter I the EDWARD. 5 the old woman, on the contrary, being de- lighted with her fituation in the coach, was in high fpirits, and much difpofed to fhare them with all the company. She made repeated attempts to draw Mrs. Barnet into con verfation, but without fuccefs ; for although from a civility of difpofition which never forfook her, fhe anfwered with affability all the woman's queflions, flie al- ways relapfed into penfive filence. The old woman was furprifed as well as difappointed at this fhe never in the courfe of her life had met with fo filent a woman, and thinking it next to impoffible that fhe fhould ftumble upon two on the fame day, in the fame coach, of the fame difpofition, fhe ventured to addrefs the maid, in .fpite of her repulfive looks, faying, " Pray, miftrefs, as the fun begins to break out, do you not think it will turn out a good day ?" In this attempt to lead the maid into converfation, fhe was flill more unfuccefsful than fhe had been with the miftrefs ; for although the former did not partake of the B 3 'latter's 6 E D \V A R D. latter' s dejection of fpirits, and had no kind of averfion in general to talking, yet {he deemed a perfon drafted as this poor woman was, far beneath her anfvvering therefore furveying the woman's ruflet gown with contempt, and at the fame time brufhing the duft from the fleeves of her own, which was of filk, with an elevated nofe and projected under lip, fhe turned her difdainful eyes to the other fide, with- out making the poor woman any anfwer. Baffled in all her atteVnpts to provoke at converfaticn, and quite unable to hold her tongue, as a laft recourfe the old woman began to talk with the boy. His prattle foon difturbed the meditations and attracted the attention of Mrs. Barnet, who at length afked the old woman, what relation the boy was to her. Pleafed with this opportunity of giving freedom to her tongue, fhe anfwered with great rapidity, and almoft in one breath, " relation to me ! All my relations are dead, pleafe your Ladyfliip, except my nephew, the pawn-broker in Shug-lane, who is grown fo EDWARD. 7 ib rich and fo proud, that he hardly fpeaks to me ; but as for that there boy I never faw him in my life, till this here blefled day, when I received him from the overfeers of the work-houfe, to take him to my own houfe in the country; where I already have fix children all boarded at the rate of poor three {hillings a week, which your Lady- fhip mud acknowledge is too little in all confcience for my trouble and expence; but the hearts of thofe who take care of the poor of feme parifhes, are as hard as the very church walls. Now,pleafe yourLady- fhip, this poor child, it feerns, was lately ill of the affluenza, and cannot be 'put out to a trade till he grows ftronger. And fo they gave him to me with the other children, for the benefice of country air ; which I do allure your Ladyfhip does quite and clean the contrirary of doctors drugs, for it recovers the health of the children, and gives them all a monftrous devouring appetite, as I am fure I finds to my coft and fo if fo be as " B 4 " Pray 8 EDWARD. " Pray, who are his parents?" faid Mrs. Barnet, interrupting the old woman's flu- ency, which fhe faw was inexhauftible. " The Lord above, he only knows," re- plied the old woman; " for they told me he was brought to the work-houfe when he was only a few months old; the parifti officers received him from a poor woman, who faid fhe was not his mother, but his name was Edward Evelin ; but who was his mother, is difficult to tell; and ftill more, who was his real father, as your Ladyfhip well knows, for they have never been found out ; but it (lands to reafon, that he muft have had both, for I never heard of any body who had neither father nor mo- ther, except Michael Hifendeck, of whom the parfon of our parifh preached laft Sun- day; but Michael lived in the bible days, which is different from thefe here times ; fo this boy's parents muft be perfons un- known ; but be who they will, I fufpecl: that they were no better than they (hould be; in which cafe it is pretty clear that this EDWARD. 9 this here boy, faving your Ladyfhip's pre- fence, is neither more nor lefs than an. unnatural child ; for if he had been born in the natural way of marriage, it ftands to reafon that his parents would have owned him long ago." Mrs. Barnet, affected with the condition of this boy, who began life under fuch un- favourable aufpices, faid, " Are you not forry, my dear, to leave home ?" " No," anfwered he; " I don't care." " Is there not fomebody at home whom you are forry to leave?" refumed me. " No," replied the boy; " I am not forry to leave any body." " What, not thofe who are good to you ?" rejoined me. " Nobody was ever good to me" faid the boy. Mrs. Barnet was touched with the child's anfwers, which ftrongly painted his helplefs lot, and the cruel indifference of the world. She thought of her own child now, for the firft time, left to the care of ftrangers, and the tear flood in her eye. "My io EDWARD. " My poor little fellow," faid me, after a fhort paufe, l< was nobody ever good to you?" " No," anfwered he, " they are good only to the Miftrefs's fon." ' tc And have you no friend, my dear?" added Ihe with a figh. " No, for old Robin the foot-man died laflweek."' " Was he your friend ? " Yes, that he was, replied the boy ; he once gave me a piece of ginger-bread." -. Mrs. Barnet could not help fmiling at the expreflive fimplicity of the anfwer, and felt herfelf fo much interefled in him, and fo much affeded at feeing fo fine a child thrown as it were at random on the world, that while me yet fmiled, the tears flowed from her eyes which the boy obfervirig, and miftaking their caufe, faid, " I fell a crying myielf, when -I heard that poor old Robin was dead." " That was like a good boy," faid Mrs. Barnet. " No, EDWARD. IT " No, it was like a naughty boy," faid he ; " and the matron whipt me for it." " My poor dear little fellow," exclaimed Mrs. Barnet, " that was hard indeed !" " It is very right howfomever, Madam, faid the old woman, that children fhould be whipt for crying ; if I did not make that at conftant rule at my houfe, there would be nothing but fquawling from morning to night for I'll tell you, as how I always ferves them there little chits, whenever they begins to make 'a noife I takes them " Here the old woman was interrupted by the flopping of the coach at the part of the common where fhe was to get out and walk to her own houfe. Mrs. Barnet warmly recommended the boy to her care, putting at the fame time a guinea into her hand, and adding that fhe would perhaps call upon her fometimes, and would reward her more liberally if fhe found that the boy was treated with kind- nefs. The old woman having promifed to treat him kindly, led him away, and the coach drove on. iz. EDWARD. CHAP. II. Qnaz ComseJia Mimus Qws melior plorante gula ? Ju v. 'T^HE forlorn condition of this poor boy, deftitute of father, mother, re- lation, or protestor, fo ftrongly awakened the humane feelings of Mrs. Barnet, that hejr thoughts were divided between him and her own child for the remainder of the way; apd when fhe arrived at her own feoufe, after giving her hufband a particular account of every thing relative to the eftab- lifhnaent of his daughter, fhe began the hiftory of the workhoufe boy ; but fhe had not proceeded far, when Mr. Barnet haftily rung the bell to know whether dinner was near ready, faying, " that be had eaten little or nothing fince his breakfaft, and indeed not a great deal then, owing to the careleflf- nefs of the maid, who had not put butter enough upon the toaft." " Why did you not EDWARD. 13 not order her to make fome with more, my dear ?" faid Mrs. Barnet. " Becaufe," re- plied he, " I did not obferve it till I could eat no more ; fo that, upon the whole, I made a very uncomfortable breakfaft." " I am forry for it," faid Mrs. Barnet ; " but I hope you have had fomething fmce." " Very little," replied he ; " for I was put fo out of humour with the toaft, that I have had little or no appetite until now." " That is provoking, indeed," faid Mrs. Barnet, in a fympathifmg tone of voice* " But here comes the dinner, and I truft you will now be able to make up for the lofs of your breakfaft." "I wifh to God, my dear, the fifh be not overdone," cried Mr. Barnet, fixing an alarmed look on the difh. " Pray do not 'terrify yourfelf," replied Mrs. Barnet ; "the fi(h is done to a moment; and the veal, as well as the beans and bacon, feem admirable allow me to help you." Mrs, Barnet accordingly helped her huf- band to every thing fhe knew he liked, which, he being a man of few words, parti- cularly 14 EDWARD. cularly at meals, accepted in filent compla- cency. After having amply indemnified himfelf for the misfortunes of the breakfaft, and having attempted, in vain, to fwallow another morfel, he looked with benignity at .his wife, and faid, " I really wifh you would eat a little bit yourfelf, my dear." " I believe the parting with our fweet girl has entirely deprived me of appetite ; it is not in my power to eat much ; but, if you pleafe, I will drink a glafs of wine with you." " I will juft take one draught more of ale firft ; I believe there is but one other draught in the tankard." Mr. Barnet, having rimmed his ale, "Upon my word," faid he, " this ale is excellent and now, my dear, I am ready to join you in a glafs of wine. Here, my dear, is your very good health, with all my heart, not forgetting our dear Louifa." After Mr. Barriet had drank a few glafTes more, and praifed the port as found, and ftomachic, and of a good body;" I am glad . to fee you here again, my dear," faid he ; ' they EDWARD, 15 " they may talk of the comforts and con- veniences of London as they pleafe, but I think there is no place where one finds every thing fo neat, and fo clean, and fo comfortable, as in one's own houfe here, and at one's own, good, warm, fnug firefide." Mrs. Barnet, defirous of interefting her hufband in the poor boy, thought this a good opportunity, and after expreffing her own fatisfaction in the thoughts of his finding home fo agreeable, Ihe proceeded in the fol- lowing terms: " Yet, my dear, in the midft of thofe comforts which Providence has fo bountifully beftowed upon us, it is impof- fible not to feel uneafmefs in refleclirjg on the numbers of our fellow -creatures, who, inftead of thofe conveniences which we en- joy, are fain, after fatigue and labour, to feek a little refrefhment, and repofe upon ftraw, in cold uncomfortable habitations, and from fcanty provifions ! The fine boy, whom I already mentioned, was going from a workhoufe, to the miferable cottage of a wretched old woman, who had no natural intereft in him, and" Here r6 EDWARD. Here Mrs.Barnet ftopp'd,becaufe me per- ceived that her hufband had fallen afleep. The following day they had vifitors, and Mrs. Barnet found no proper opportunity of mentioning to her hufband the boy in whom fhe felt fo flrong an intereft. The day after, fhe was again prevented by the following accident : A large company were invited to dine on turtle, at an inn in the village. This dinner was given by a gentle- man, whofe intereft in the county Mr. Barnet oppofed, of courfe he was not in- vited to the feaft; but the inn-keeper, who had private reafons for cultivating the good will of Mr. Barnet, and knew by what means that was to be moft effe&ually ob- tained, gave him to know that a copious bafon of the turtle fhould be fent to him. Mr. Barnet having prepared himfelf for the occaiion, by a longer airing than ufual, was waiting with impatience for the ac- compHihment of the inn-keeper's promife, when he was informed, that in conveying the foup from the inn, the fervant had ftumbled, and fpik the rich cargo on the ground. E D \V A R D. 17 ground. This melancholy accident affected Mr. Barnet fo deeply, that his wife plainly perceived it would be vain to expect that he flioiikl, for that day at leaft, think of any body's misfortune but his own. VOL, I. i8 EDWARD. CHAP. III. How few, like thee, enquire the wretched out, And court the offices of foft humanity ? ROWE. / TpHE following morning, Mrs. Barnet, on the pretext of paying an early vifit, drove to the old woman's Cottage, to enquire after the poor boy. She foon obferved him fitting on a ftone before the old woman's door, apart frorri the other children, who were playing on the heath. He fprung, with extended arms, to- wards Mrs. Barnet, as foon as he faw her. " Why are you not playing with the other children ?" faid ihe. " Becaufe," faid he, " you promifed to come and fee me, and I have watched for* you ever fmce." " That he has, indeed, madam," faid the old woman, who came out of the hovel, when fhe faw the carriage Hop ; " he has been EDWARD. 19 been conftantly on the look-out from morn- ing to night, although I told him '* Youfiily fool," faid I, " do you think that that there fine lady will take the trouble to come to fee fuch a poor little wretch as you and what does your ladyfhip think he anfwered ?" " What did he anfwer?" laid Mrs. Barnet. " Yes, I do think it," fays he; " for {he promifed to do fo," faid he, " and the par- fon of the workhoufe fchool told us, that good folks always kept their promife," fays he. tc And I am fure," continued the old woman, " that your ladyfhip always will, particularly to me, whereof your ladyfliip muft remember that you promifed to re- ward me, if fo be I treated this boy kindly, which God he knows I have done, as in duty bound.'* *' Have you had any breakfaft, my dear?" faid Mrs. Barnet to the boy. " I was juft going to give him fome," anfwered the old woman, " when your ladymip arrived. Was I not, child ?" " I don't know," faid the boy. c 2 He o EDWARD. " He does not underftand politenefs as yet, pleafe your ladyfhip," faid the old woman; " but I will foon teach him in time; for indeed I was juft going to give him fome breakfaft, as in duty bound.'* Mrs. Barnet continued to talk with the boy for a confiderabie time, and was high- ly pleafed with all he faid. She then gave fome money to the woman, repeating her injunctions, " that fhe fhould be careful and attentive to the boy;" and now, " my dear, here is fomething for you, 1 * added (he; pre- ienting him with a large fweet-cake. " Are you going away already ?" faid the boy, with a forrowful look. " Yes, my dear, I muft go, 1 ' replied he. " There," faid the boy, giving the cake to the old woman, " you may divide that among the children." " Firft take fome yourfelf," rejoined the old woman ; tearing off a piece, and offer- ing it to the boy. " No," faid he; "I do not like it now" " You cannot choofe but like it," faid fhe, taking a large bite of the cake herfelf. " Here, EDWARD. 21 " Here, here," refumed fhe, as foon as {he could articulate; " I aflure you it is very nice, fo there is a piece for you." " I cannot eat it now," replied he, reject- ing the cake, and looking mournfully at Mrs. Earner.. " I will come and fee you again, my dear," faid Mrs. Barnet, tapping his cheek; "but I am obliged to go at prefent : pray be a good boy." " 1 cannot be a good boy," refumed he, ready to cry; " when you are going away." " I will foon return," faid (lie, " but pray be good." " I will try," faid the boy, with a fob ; " but I fear I cannot." Mrs. Barnet had not only a warm bene- volent heart, but alfo fomething of a warm imagination. The accidental manner in which fhe had met with this boy, and the fudden and growing intereft which his ap- pearance, behaviour, and forlorn condition created in her breaft, fhe confidered as the impulfe of Providence urging her to fave a tine boy from vice, infamy, and ruin. c 3 Fraught 32 E D W A R D. Fraught with this idea, fhe returned to her own houfe a little before her hufband arofe ; and by the time he was drefled, fhe had every thing arranged for his breakfaft. Mr. Barnet entered the parlour with a newfpaper in his hand, and what was fel- dom the cafe, with a cheerful countenance. " I fancy you have good news to com-' municate," faid Mrs. Barnet. " Why, yes," faid he; " I find flocks have rifea one and a half per cent, by which I fruli gain a pretty round fum." " 1 am glad to hear it," faid fhe, prefent- ing him with a bafon of tea. '* I do not fee why we fhould not have a difii of john-dorys for dinner to-day, let them coft what they will," refumed he. " You fhall have it, my dear," faid Mrs. Barnet ; " Til give orders about it diredly." While Mrs. Barnet was giving the orders, her hufband helped himfelf very plentifully to the toad, which he found buttered to his tafte. He continued to eat, with every ap- pearance of fatisfadion, for a confiderable time after his wife returned ; and when he could eat no more, he prefented her a plate *8 of EDWARD. 23 of toaft, with his ufual phrafe on like oc- cafions " 1 really wtfb you 'would eat a little bit yoiirfelf, my dear" " With all my heart," faid Mrs. Barnet, " for I rejoice to fee you look fo cheerful and well this morning." " Why truly," faid he, ftroking his belly, u I do feel myfelf pretty comfortable." Mrs, Barnet thinking this the lucky mo- ment for renaming the ftory of the poor boy defcribed his fine looks and helplefs condition in fuch eloquent and pathetic terms, that her hufband, in fpite of his na- tural indifference to every thing which did not perfonally regard himfelf, feemed a little affected. Mrs. Barnet perceiving this, con- tinued : " I do aflure you, my dear, that you never faw a prettier boy.'* " I make no manner of doubt of it," faid Mr. Barnet ; " but as for the old woman," refumed his wife, "me feemed to be an unfeeling creature, and fmelt of gin." *' I make no manner of doubt of it," faid Mr. Barnet, " for I have known feveral old women fmell of gin." c 4 u I am 5 4 EDWARD. " I am fure (he will negled: the poor boy," refumed fhe. u Well, my dear, fmce you are perfuaded of that, I think we muft fend for the old wo- man, and advife her to take care of him; and 1 am willing to give her a few (hillings out of my pocket for fo doing ;" faid Mr. Barnet. " That would make her promife to take care of him," faid Mrs. Barnet, " and make her appear very kind to him when you or I are with her, but what will become of the poor child when we are not prefent ?" " Why, he muft take his chance, like the other children," faid the hufband. " The other children have all feme re- lation to inquire about them," faid Mrs. Barnet; "but this poor boy is quite deftitute of relation, friend, or protector. The poor creature himfelf told me that the only friend he ever had, died laft week." " And who was he ?" faid Mr. Barnet. " A poor old foot-man," replied his wife, " And are you making all this fufs, Jane, about a little frieiidlefs vagabond, whom nobody knows ?" faid Mr, Barnet. "If EDWARD. 25 " If this poor boy were known and had friends, he would not ftand in need of our protection," replied Mrs. Barnet. " That is very true," faid Mr. Barnet ; " but on the other hand, it is very hard on us, to be the only protector of poor friend- lefs vagabond boys." u This is but one boy," replied Mrs. Bar- net; " perhaps Providence will never throw another fo particularly in our way*" " Why truly, Jane, you furprife me," faid the hufband ; " you feem to be as much concerned about this boy, as if he were your own." " So would you^ if you had only feen him ; he is a moft bewitching little fellow, and although he is fomewhat pale and ema- ciated, I never in my life beheld a boy with finer features and a more interefting countenance: he brought to my remem- brance our own poor George, who is dead and gone" Here me burft into tears, and was unable to fpeak for a few minutes. " Pray, do not afflict yourfelf for what cannot be helped/ 3 faid Mr. Barnet ; " you know, 26 EDWARD. know, my dear, we did all we could for George, and the apothecary did all he could alfo ; he could not have prefcribed a greater number of draughts, and cordials, and julaps, to the only fon of a Duke; for his bill was as long as a fpit, fo there is no caufe for forrow or reflection. And as for this hoipital boy, although he is nothing to me, yet fince he bears fuch a refemblance to George, I am willing to make a weekly allowance, out of my own pocket, to the old woman, to make fcer careful of him." Mrs. Barnet (hook her head. " Why, what would you have me do ?" refumed the hufband; " you would not furely have me take him quite out of the hands of the old woman, and be at the whole burden, pf his maintenance myfelf !" Mrs. Barnet fmiled with a nod of aflent. " Good gracious, my dear! You do not reflect," added the huiband, " bow ftrange a thing it would be for us to take a poor mi- ferable wretch of a boy, perhaps the fon of a foot-man, under our care, and be at the whole expence of maintaining him. I (hould EDWARD. 27 fhould be glad to know who will thank us for it?" " Our own hearts," faid Mrs. Barnet. " My heart never thanked me for any fuch thing fmce I was born," faid Mr. Bar> net, " and I am fure all our acquaintances would laugh at us, and turn us into ridi- cule." " All the laughters in the world cannot turn benevolence into ridicule," faid Mrs. Barnet j " and the narrow minded may be hurt to fee you do what they cannot imitate ; but malice itfelf can neither prevent the pleafure which a charitable action will af- ford to your own breaft, my dear, nor the refpect which will attend it." "So your drift is," replied the hufband, " to teafe me till I take this boy into my houfe." " My drift has never been to teafe you, but always to make you happy, my dear. I own I am affeded with the friendlefs condition of this poor orphan, and ftruck with his refemblance to the child who was torn from us at the fame age ; as for the poor 28 EDWARD. poor young creature's maintenance, it will be a mere trifle to us, but of infinite im- portance to him ; it may fave him from vice, and the worft kind of ruin. The reflection of having done fo charitable an office to a lovely boy, like your own de- parted fon, would no doubt afford you cverlafting fatisfaction : but," continued (he, perceiving that her hufband began to be affected, " I defire you to do nothing which is not prompted by the generous feelings of your own heart; for of this I am certain, that your acting up to them will ren- der you more profperous even in this world, and fecure you a reward of an hun- dred fold in the next." The earneflnefs of Mrs. Barnet's man- ner, and the recollection of a fon whom he had loved as much as he could love any thing, had already touched the heart of the hufband; and this laft intimation of im- mediate profperity and future reward, found- ing in his ears fomething like accumulated intereft and a large premium, came neareft his feelings, and overcame him entirely. " Well, EDWARD. 29 " Well, my dear," faid he, prefled furprife, he immediately aflerted, " that the horfe could trot twenty ;" and the energy of his affertions ufually kept pace with the ftrength of the arguments ufed againft them, and the improbability of what he himfelf fapported. VOL. I. E 50 EDWARD. CHAP. VI. Eamus Quo ducit gula. Hon.' A S Sir Robert Barnet's mind was entire- ly engrofled by the purfuk of riches, he paid little attention to the education of his fon, but allowed him to live with his grand- mother till he arrived at that age when he thought it would be proper to inftruft the young man in mercantile bufmefs. - Sir Robert took a good deal of pains to con- vince his mother-in-law of the propriety of this meafure, and at laft prevailed on her to agree to his leaving her houfe, and remov* ing to his in the city. This alteration was iefs difagreeable fof fome time to George than he expected; for as it was the feafon when turtle is mofl plentiful, Sir Robert was in a courfe of en- tertaining and being entertained by his city friends, and his fon was frequently invited to EDWARD. 51 to the turtle and venifon feafts with which thofe luxurious traders regale each other. George had {hewn an early tafte for good living, a phrafe which at prefent implies good eating. This tafte was greatly improved at his grandmother's, who kept an excellent cook, and fpared no expence on her table, where George heard many enlightened con- verfations on the comparative merit of the refpective difhes, and became an adept both in the theory and practice of this fcience. His knowledge of the beft difhes and the tnoft delicate parts of each di(h, gave him a vaft advantage over the ignorant. Theit blunders were a fertile fubject of George's ridicule at every feaft. He tippM the wink to fome knowing friend as often as he per- ceived them neglecting the delicate bits and devouring the coarfe; he never failed to give a bad character of every difh he pre- ferred, that it might fall to his own fhare or thofe of his favourites ; and on all thofe occafions he looked as waggifh and ironical, as the flat rotundity of his countenance Would permit. Thus accompliihed, George E 2 was S 2 E D W A R D. was confidered as a fmart young mail by many of the guefts during the feafon of feftivity and feafting; but it muft be confefled at the fame time, that this was the -^pnly branch of his father's bufmefs which he ever underflcod, or in which he had the leafl wifh to take a fhare. Sir Robert how- ever was at confidcrable pains to give his fwi ufeful ideas concerning commerce in genera], and his own in particular point- ing out fuch vaft and various fources of wealth, as he thought would excite avidity and ftimulate exertion : But as George bad been nurfed from his birth in the lap of affluence, and had hardly ever felt the waut of money, it was impoffible to give him the fame ardour for accumulating that his father had; befides, his faculties were already too much benumbed with indolence to bear trouble or application of any kind. The young man was fo confcious of this averfion to bufmefs, that he viewed the rich profpets which his father pointed out, as Mofes viewed the land of promife, from caount Nebc, with a certitude that by his 3 own EDWARD. 53 own exertions he never could attain the objecls he contemplated. In fpite of Sir Robert's remonftrances, inftead of attending the counting houfe, George fpent his time in parties to the country, or in lounging at the public places with a few young men of the city, in whom the fruits of their fathers' induftry had pro- duced no other effect than infpiring them with contempt for the fource from which they were derived. Sir Robert had known young men, who from levity and thoughtlefTnefs were care- Jefs of reputation; others who difregard- ed the diftinclions of rank and titles ; he had been acquainted with fome few who were infenfible to the allurements of beauty. All thofe difpofitions he thought extraordinary, yet ftill he could account for their exiftence in the human breaft; but that any man, young or old, fhoukj have a fair profpecl: of acquiring an im-* menfe fortune, (which in Sir Robert's opi- nion comprehended reputation, honours, influence, the pofleffion of beauty, and all E 3 that \ 54 EDWARD. that is gratifying to the heart of man,) and behold fuch a profpeft with indifference, was what he could not comprehend, and he thought it fo particularly improbable that a child of his could be of fuch a dif- ppfition, that if he had ever entertained any fufpicions of his wife's infidelity this would have confirmed them. One day, after having enumerated the ad- vantages of a new fpeculation in trade which he meditated, and endeavoured to convince his fon that this alone, if carefully conduct- ed, would prove a permanent fource of opu- lence, he added, " but above all things re- member, that this requires great alertnefs, activity, and attention on our part ; no fcheme of this nature can be rendered fuc- cefsful without conftant and laborious at- tention for a certain time, after which it will go on of itfelf, with a moderate in- fpedion and then, my boy, we will enjoy the fruits of our labour." Perceiving that his fon heard all this with little or no emotion " Good God !" cried he, u George, are you awake ?" " Awake," repeated^ EDWARD. 55 repeated George, rubbing his eyes " I be- lieve fo." " I am glad of it," faid Sir Robert, " for you look'd as cold and indifferent as if you had been at church, or as if I had been repeat- ing one of the fermons which parfon Drow- fy preaches to your grandmother in the country." " The very laft fermon I heard the par- fon preach," faid George, " was fomething to the fame purpofe.'' " To the fame purpofe ! How do you mean?" * Yes, indeed," replied George, " it feem- cd pretty much to the fame purpofe ; for the whole tendency of his difcourfe was, that we ought to watch and pray, and labour without ceafmg, that we might enjoy a trea- fure hereafter. And Jack Revel, whom my grandmother had coaxed that day to church, whifpered in my ear, That is as much as to fay, make fure of Hell while you live, and you will go to Heaven perhaps when you die." E 4 Jack 56 EDWARD. " Jack Revel is a worthlefs profligate, and a fool befides," cried Sir Robert ; " for how can the acquifitioii of riches, which makes a heaven on earth, be compared to hell?" " The labour of gathering them would be purgatory to me," anfwered George. After this converfation Sir Robert de-* fpaired of his fon's ever making any figure as a merchant; inftead of teafing the young man and vexing himfelf therefore by fruit- lefs perfuafions, he began to revolve in his mind in what line of life his fon had a chance of making a more decent appearance. Mr. Quirk his attorney happened to call on Mm while he was meditating on the. fubjed j Sir Robert mentioned it to him ~ Mr. Quirk had on two or three occafions been witnefs to young George's obftinacy in difpute and perfevefance in fupporting a bad caufe: " On this foundation," he faid, " there was reafon to believe that the young gentle- man was pcflefled of very promifing talents for the bar ;" but Sir Robert infifted " that George was by much too indolent for that prp-? EDWARD. 57 profeflion and he feared had not capacity fufficient for conducting any branch of com- merce ; we mud therefore think," added he, *' of fome kind of employment which will give him little trouble and requires but a moderate extent of capacity." " You had beft put him into parliament then," faid Mr. Quirk; "that gives little trouble, and has fucceeded wonderfully with men of as moderate capacities as are to be met with." As feveral examples, ftrongly corrobora- tive of the attorney's aflertion, occurred to Sir Robert in the inftant, he feemed to relilh the propofal, and invited Mr. Quirk to flay and dine, for there was to be no company but George. The attorney confented, and after dinner Sir Robert aiked his fon " How he ihould like to be a Member of the Houfe of Commons ?" On Mr. George's hefitating, Mr. Quirk adjoined, " it is a very honourable fituation for young men who have nothing to do, and it requires neither application nor ftudy." "What 58 EDWARD. " What does it require then ?" faid George. '< It requires money to purchafe a feat/' anfwered Mr. Quirk. " Which I am willing to advance/* added Sir Robert. " I believe the houfe meets at the hour of dinner," faid George, "and fome of the Members make defperate long fpeeches." " The young gentleman's remark is equal- ly acute and juft,'' rejoined the attorney,, looking to Sir Robert ; " neverthelefs, I can allure him, that any Member may withdraw \vhen he is tired, whether at the beginning,, middle, or end of a fpeech.'* " Are you abfolutely certain of that ?' added Mr. George. " Abfolutely certain," replied Mr. Quirk, * otherwife who would be a Member of Par- liament ?" " Not I, for one," anfwered Mr. George. " You need be under no appreh^nfion of that fort ; for no fuch ftricl attendance as you dread is required," faid Mr. Quirk. " I Ihould EDWARD, 59 " I fhpuld be glad to know what is ab- folutely requifite in a Member of Parlia T jnent," faid George, " Only that you fhould be able to fay Ay or No," faid Sir Robert, a little angrily, " Will that fatisfy you ?" " Very well, Sir," replied George, bowing to his father ; " I have now no objection to feeing in parliament.'* CHAP. VII. Crefcit amor nummi, quantum ipfa pecunia crefcit. JUVEN. >TpHE contraft between the characters o ^ the father and the fon, however great it may fecm, in all probability depended on the different fituadons in which they began life, and not on any great difference of their natural powers or difpofitions. The former fet out in narrow circumftances, goaded to early exertions by the apprehenfions of poverty, and a full conviction that he had nothing to rely upon but his per- fonal diligence; habit rendered application in a ihort time eafy, and the increafing wealth which attended this application at laft communicated to it a fenfe of pleafure. Whereas the latter, from the time of his brother's death, knew that he was heir to, an opulent fortune, that his wants would all be fupplied without any labour of his own. EDWARD. 61 own, and being devoid of every kind of ambition, lie was foon infected with indo- lence, a difeafe whofe nature it is to aug- ment every moment, and the more hope- lefs, becaufe, not being like many other diftempers removable by the mere efforts of nature, it ftands in need of the affiftance of art an affiftant which in George's cafe was never called in. In many particulars the father and Ton were congenial, both being narrow minded and felfim ; only the felfilhnefs of the father appeared in his affiduous application to one objed, to which in his mind all others were fubordinate, namely, the accumulation of wealth ; whereas the felfimnefs of the fon manifefted itfelf in the indulgence of eafe and gratification of appetite at whatever ex-" pence. George was at no pains to conceal his predominant propentities; he probably found many people to fympathize with him, and therefore the pleafiires of the table formed a principal topic of his converfation ; but a fpirit of covetoumefs is fo odious and un- fociable, 62 fc D W A R D. fociable, that nobody dare avow it, and Sir Robert endeavoured to conceal the fource of his indefatigable grafping as much as he could. He often declared, " that he thought himfelf rich enough, and that on his own perfonal account, he had not the flighted wilh for more ; but that he confi- dered it as an indifpenfible duty to provide liberally for his children, that his fort would foon marry, and probably have a numerous family; he was anxious therefore to fecure a provifion for them ; that hav- ing himfelf received an ample fortune with his wife, he owed it to her memory to provide amply for all her defcendants ; that thefe confiderations alone induced him to continue the toil of bufmefs, and remain in the fmoke of the city, at a time of life which required eafe and retirement, and when his mind had loft all relifh for additional wealth." Thofe and fimilar pretexts deceived no- body; all Sir Robert Barnet's acquaintance knew, that the fovereign paffion of his foul was the love of money, in the indulgence of EDWARD. -63 Df which he confidered himfelf, and himfelf only; and as for his fon, and his fon's chil- dren who were not yet born, he thought as little of them in his exertions for wealth as they did of him. It is curious to obferve the various malks under which men endeavour to conceal the- odious features of permanent or increafing avarice yet they impofe on none, but thofe who ufe them : We are all fufficiently fliarp-fighted to fee through the flimfy veils, under which our neighbours endeavour to hide what is unamiable in their difpofnions.; yet we are weak enough to imagine, that the fame piece of old tattered gauze, when thrown over our own foibles, will be im- pervious to the eyes of all mankind. The favourite wi(h of Sir Robert's heart had once been to increafe his fortune to a plum, r" If I were worth a hundred thou- fand pounds," faid he, " I fhould be fatis- fied." When he had acquired this however, he felt the fame ardent defire for two hun- dred thoufand pounds that he formerly had for one v for, thought he, " if I were once * 4 worth 64 E D W A R D. worth two plums, I could foon make a third." A new fource of covetoufnefs and dif- content fprung up in the mind of Sir Ro- bert about this time. Curtaj nefcio quid Temper abeft reJ. An old friend of his, who let out in life at the fame time with himfelf, but remained in very confined circumftances feveral years after Sir Robert was in affluence, returned about this time from the Eaft Indies ; he lived in great fplendor, and was reputed to be worth above two hundred thoufand pounds That a man, whom he had known fo much poorer than himfelf, fhould in the fpace of a few years acquire more money than he had been able to do in the courfe of many, was a reflection which deprived Sir Robert of all fatisfacHon from the great fortune he himfeif pofleffed, and imbittered all his enjoyments. " All this availeth me nothing," faid Haman the favourite of Ahafuerus, " fo.long as I fee Mordecai the Jew fitting at the King's gate." " My EDWARD. 6c 3 *' My .hundred thoufand pounds availeth me nothing," thought Sir Robert Bamet, " as long as this curfed old friend of mine has double that fum." ^_ _ -| A ff \ ' ' Two hundred thoufand pounds at leaft, and as much more as he could, was .Sir Robert therefore bent upon acquiring, and he fet about it as eagerly as he had done at the beginning of life. His efforts were for fome time fuccefsful, which redoubled his ardour, in the midft of which, he made an imprudent pufh, and, inftead of raifing his fortune to two hundred thoufand pounds, it was funk to ninety thoufand j a fum which appeared downright poverty in his eyes. Sir Robert Barnet's voyage through life had hitherto been remarkably profperous ; wary and cautious at the outfet, he had carefully fhunned the rocks and quickfands on which lefs prudent adventurers ftrike. But when he feemed to enjoy a very fa- vourable gale, he was unexpectedly driven back by an adverfe guft to a greater diftance from the port he aimed at than he had been for feveral years. VOL. i. F His 66 EDWARD. His mind xvas unable to fuftain the fhock of fuch an unexpe&ed reverfe of fortune. Had Sir Rpbert been lefs uniformly pro- fperous, had fortune dealt her favours to him with a more fparing ^and, had he been more accuftomed to checks and reverfes, it is probable that he would either have ob- viated his prefent misfortune, or been able- to fupport it with greater firmnefs. The fame man who could not bear the Jdea of being worth only ninety thoufand pounds, becaufe he had once poflefTed above one hundred thoufand pounds, would have lived tolerably fatisfied, with twenty thou- fand or much lefs, if he had never poflefled more. The original caufe of Sir Robert's dejection of fpirits therefore was, rather that he had at one time acquired too much, than that he was ever reduced to too little. He never recovered his fpirits after this accident, and died in a ihort time of what was called a nervous fever. EDWARD. 67 CHAP. VHL Sedulitas autem ftulte quern diiigit urget. HOR , E old lady bore the death of Sir Robert with the fame degree of real concern that he had done that of his wife. George, however, burft into tears when he was told of his father's death, and feemed rather de- jeded for fome days after it. Alarmed left his health might fuffer, the old lady ufed every means to comfort him and difpel his affliction ; alluring him that the natural tendency of grief was to injure the health of the living, without being of any fervice to the dead ; and that although he were to grieve himfelf into a confumption, his father would after all remain as dead as before. Whether it was the force or novelty of this argument that fupported him, certain it is that George's health did not greatly fuffer by his affliction, which diminished liis appetite fo little, that a very fhort time F 2 after 68 ED W A R D. after his father's death he had a fevere fit of indigeftion from eating too plentifully of turtle. His grandmother imputed this indifpofi- tion to a glafs of water which, with the rafh- nefs natural to youth, fhe {aid he had drank in the time of dinner. George himfelf ex- prefled fome fufpicions againft the turtle ; but the old lady vindicated the animal's character -with all the ardour of affection, afferting its innocence not only from her own experience but on the authority of Dr. Truffle, who thought it a great fup- porter of the fyftem, and that no fup- pofable quantity of that dim received into the fiomach could prove mortal, of which many refpedlable perfons of her acquaint- ance, ftill alive, were fufficient evidence. Whatever was the caufe of his diforder, George was in fo much diftrefs, that Dr. Truffle was fent for ; and had he not hap- pened to be otherwife engaged, very pof- fibly the hiftory of Mr. Barnet would have terminated at this place. Whether the reader would have confidered this as a fortunate circumftance for himfelf, or not, EDWARD. 6g not, it certainly was lucky for George that a phyfician of very different notions from Dr. Truffle attended him ; his grand- mother fhewing infinite concern for the young man, and fuperintending the admi- niftration of every remedy, without excep- tion. But all her tendernefs could not make her refrain from giving frequent hints that he had brought it on himfelf by that im- prudent draught of cold water; and the wretched patient fuffered little lefs from the teazing of the old lady, than from the pain of his bowels. The phyfician made his fecond vifit, while this perfevering old woman was expatiat- ing on the mifchievous effects of cold water, and the wilfulnefs of thofe who ufe it. " But here comes the doctor," cried fhe, " he will confirm all I have been faying." " Pray doctor," continued fhe, " is it not highly imprudent to drink raw, cold, windy, unwholefome liquors at dinner." " I fhould think fo," replied the doftor, " and at fupper equally fo." p 3 "Do 70 EDWARD. " Do you hear that, ray dear," faid fTie^ addreffing herfelf to George, who was too uneafy at the moment to make any reply ? Then turning to the phyfician,. fhe rejoined, " and is it not moft dangerous to begin to take fuch drinks before the ftomach is ha- bituated to them." " I fufpeft that moft people are rafh enough to begin things before they arc habituated to them," replied the doctor, fin il ing. tf Ay ! doftor, you may langh," faid the old lady, " fmce you and your brethren reap the benefit of thofe people's raflinefe and folly : But is it not your ferious opinion that cold, windy, pernicious liquors are peculiarly improper for a young man like my gracdfon r" " I fliould think fuch liquors as you de- fcribe improper for young, old, and middle- aged, madam," faid ,the doctor. " But efpeciaHy for men of fortune like my grandfon," refumed the lady, " who have all the comforts of life at command, and who be- ing young may expect to enjoy them long. Your poor beggarly people may do as they pleafe. E t> \V A R IX 71 pleafe, for they have nothing to lofe ; but for tmein my grandfon's circumftances to throw away his life in fuch a manner is quite ;n- excufable." 41 For when once his life is thrown away/' added the doctor, " he will be reduced to the fame circumftances with the poor." *' Ah! fo we are told," faid throld lady with a figh, " and a very hard thing it is.'* " But do you not think that there may be fome difference made," continued Ihe, "be- tween the better fort of people and the in- ferior orders after all, doctor ? for if they are put exactly on the fame footing, the rich will be more feverely dealt with." " How fo?" faid the dodor. " Becaufe," replied fne, " the poor have always been accuftomed to hardfhips; and ill ufage of any kind would be a much flight- er punifhment to them, than to the rich, \vho have been ufed to comforts all their lives." " That does make a difference," rejoined the doctor, " and there will be a difference after death alfo, madam ; for the rich will have 71 EDWARD. have more magnificent funerals, and much more comfortable graves." " That, is but cold comfort," replied the old lady with a forrowfulface : " But. you hear what he has faid," continued fhe, turn- ing to her grandfon, " and if you do not profit by it, it is neither his fault nor mine." " I neither blame him nor you," replied George, with a look of anguim; " but I muft beg that you will both leave the room for a few minutes." Mr. Barnet foon recovered from this com- plaint ; and although in the courfe of his life he had many attacks of the fame nature, he never after could impute them to the fame caufe, for he never ventured on another glafs of unmixed water; but, by his grand- mother's direction, always corrected the raw and pernicious qualities, which fhe thought belonged to that liquid, with fome other of a warmer nature ; and he continued to live with the old lady, in a very comfort- able manner, to ufe a favourite phrafe of hers, which afterwards became a noted one of Mr. George's, E D \V A R D. 73 CHAP. IX. A lazy, lolling fort, Unfeen at church, at fenate, or at court, Of ever little fs loit'rers, that attend No caufe, no truft, no duty, and no friend. POPE. * LT HOUGH the thread of this old lady's *^ life was of a very tough texture, and although fhe endeavoured to fpin it out as long as poffible, fhe could not prevent its fnapping at laft. By her laft will, fhe left her whole for- tune to her grandfon ; notwithftanding this circumftance, he was uneafy at her death. George was more than moft men the flave of habit; he felt fuch a blank on lofing the old lady, as he, who was by no means fer- tile in refources, was for fome time at a lofs how to fupply. -Previous to the death of his grandmother, he had loft fome of his ac- quaintance ; but as their deaths made lefs alteration in the routine of his own life, and did 74 E D W A R D. did not interrupt the daily return of what he called his comforts, he forgot them very fpeedily: whereas now feveral things on which he put importance were neglected, or prefented to him in a lefs comfortable ftyle than formerly, his grief for the old lady was of courfe more poignant and durable than any thing of the fame kind he had ever felt before. At the diflance of two complete months after (he had been, with all due honours, interred, and when no idea of her exifted in the memory of any other perfon, Mr. George gave a linking proof that a grateful recollection of her remained in. his; for one day at his own table, on tafting a difli of ftewed carp, he exclaimed *' that the cook had fpoiled it;" adding in a forrowful tone of voice* and with tears in liis eyes, " If my 'worthy grandmother wtre alive ^ I J):ould not be fo Jerked" This oblervation, though directly lev elled at the cook, glanced obliquely at his fifter Catherine, who then fat at his table, and on whom he had devolved the management of his houfe after their grandmother's death. l This EDWARD. 75 This young lady had been left but a. very moderate fortune by her father; on his death,, fhe went and boarded with a female rela- tion. George, on the other hand^ had pre- vailed on his grandmother, a confiderable time before her death, to take an elegant houfe in the weft end of the town, where they lived for one half of the year^ and fpent the other at her villa in the country ; he now invited his filler to prefide over both. There are few things in which mankind make greater miftakes than in the obje&a in which they place their own happinefs, and in their eftimate of the happinefs of others. -Mifs Barnet was often confidered as an unfortunate young woman, becaufe her father left her a fmaHer portion than her ought, and becaufe fhe was not a favourite of her grandmother; yet there is no doubt that fhe was by far the happieii in the Bar- net family. Sir Robert was quoted as at fortunate man, and envied by half the city on account of his rapid accumulation of' wealth; yet this, fo far from producing. content. 76 EDWARD. content, only augmented covetoufnefs, made him unable to fuftaiu the firft blow of ad- verfity, and rendered him the vidim of de- ipondency. And his fon George was con- iidered as one of the luckieft fellows in life, becaufe he fucceeded early to both his father's and grandmother's fortunes, which, in fact, were what bribed him into indo- lence, and finally deprived him of all that gives relifh to exiftence. To a mind like that of George, devoid of ambition and cu- riofity, the fpur of poverty was perhaps the only thing which could have roufed him into that degree of exertion that is necef- fary to render a man at all refpettable in the eyes of others, or tolerably happy in himfelf. Obliged to do nothing, he ne- ver knew what to do; he found it a diffi- cult matter to get through the day; and as this difficulty recurred every day, life on the whole was rather an oppreffive bufmefs to him. In town, his only exercife was a lounge in Bond-ftreet, or a ride in Hyde Park ; and his only bufmefs drefling, for his ride, and 10 afterwards EDWARD. 77 afterwards for his dinner. At one time he (hewed fome fondnefs for drefs, and it was thought he would have become a fop, but his natural and acquired indolence over- came that kind of vanity, and the fatigue of dreffing became unfupportable to him. The happieft part of his life was that which fuc- ceeded his ride, for 'he had then generally an appetite, and was in the well-affured hope of a good dinner ; but when he had quite fubdued his appetite, having no tafte for converfation no pieafure in reflection no curiofity to gratify no ambition to ex- cite him, if he did not fall afleep, tedium returned, and exiftence became a burden ; from which he was folhetimes tempted to feek temporary relief in the moft per- nicious of all palliatives, and was in danger of gradually finking into a fot; from this laft ftage of human degradation he was faved by the vigilant exertions of his fifter, who with infinite addrefs diverted him from that kind of indulgence as often as fhe faw him inclined to it ; and when they dined alone, fhe either had com- pany engaged early after dinner, or per- fuaded 78 EDWARD. fuaded him to accompany her to Come of the theatres, though he had little or no en^ joyment at the playhoufe, unlefs when a pantomime, or a play exceedingly like a pantomime, was exhibited. He affected to have a tafte for mufic, and went occafionally to the Opera, where he was extremely apt to indulge in a {lumber. Of all theatrical enter- tainments, tumbling and rope-dancing af- forded him the greateft pleafure, and he was allowed to be a tolerable critic in both. He always had a regular fupper, for al- though he never had any appetite at that meal, he loved to pick a bit, merely to pafs away the time; and he went to bed from a wearinefs of being awake, more than any need of fleep. Such was Mr. George Bar- net's life in town, and it was not a great deal pleafanter in the country: he kept hunters, it is true, but having an early pro- penfity to corpulency he found hunting by much too fatiguing an amufement; cock-fighting and horfe-racing were more to his tafte, becaufe in thele all the danger and fatigue belonged to his horfes and cocks; EDWARD. 79 cocks ; yet when the victories of the one or the other were mentioned, George plumed ^limfelf as much as if he had won them ia perfon, like the general who arrogates to hipfelf the praife of a fuccefsful attack made, unknown to him, while he was at Dinner four miles from the fcene of action. So E D W A R P. C H A P. X. Nee tarn veaeris quantum lludiofa culin;c. HOR. A s Mr. George Barnet's fifter was more indulgent to his humours than any body elfe, he liked her company better than that of any other woman ; and he acknow- ledged that he never found things fo com- fortable when {he was abfent. So that he often prevailed on her to accompany him to hcrfe- races, and always to the watering- places, to fome one or other of which he went every feafon. He himfelf ufed to exprefs furprife that he mould have any return of this inclina- tion ; " for I am no fooner at any one of thefe watering-places," faid he, " than in fpite of their balls, and concerts, and lot- teries, I am fure to wifh myfelf at one or other of my own fnug comfortable houfes." Indolence EDWARD. 81 Indolence increafing hourly, Mr. Barnet renounced the delights of the watering places, and determined to fpend his time entirely at his own houfes; from which he feldom went, except to a horfe-race ; for he ftill adhered a little to the turf. He be- came, however, every day more capricious, peevifh, and querulous ; fo that it required all that affection, which, in fpite of the op- pofition of their characters, his filter really had for him, to enable her to live with him. fo long as fhe did ; and it is probable that fhe would have loft patience, and quitted him foon, even although the event I am now about to mention had never taken place. Mr. Temple, a young clergyman, who had a living at no great diftance from Mr. Barnet's houfe in the country, paid his ad- dreffestoMifs Catharine; and their marriage, which in due time took place, furnifhedher with a fair pretext for leaving her brother. Mrs. Temple's moft intimate friend was a young lady of the name of Lewis, with whom fhe had formed an acquaintance at VCH., i. G the 82 EDWARD. the boarding-fchool. Mifs Lewis was niece to the miftrefs of the fchool, and daughter of a clergyman in Wales, on whofe death Mifs Lewis was invited by her aunt to live with her, of which invitation, as the young lady was an only child, and had loft her mother previous to the death of her father, me accepted. Although Mr. Lewis at his death could not bequeath to his daughter much of that fpecies of wealth for which there is the moft univerfal demand, he had been affi- duous during his life, in conveying to her another kind of wealth, in which he was himfelf uncommonly opulent j he had from her childhood enriched her mind with the virtues of benevolence and refignntion ; from nature me derived an excellent under- flanding, and one of the happieft tempers in the world. Mifs Lewis was about the fame age with her friend, but fhe had made greater advances in fome branches of know- ledge ; and Mrs. Temple often mentioned her to her hufband in terms equally affec- tionate and refpeclful. EDWARD. 83 Mifs Lewis was invited to pafs a few weeks with the new married couple, and her company was fo agreeable to both, that they never ceafed importuning the aunt, till (he confented to allow her niece to fpend the fummer with them; a permiflion which, after a fhort vifit to the aunt, was extended to the fucceeding autumn. Unable to live in the country by himfelf, Mr. Barnet re- moved to town earlier than ufual, and when there, his moft agreeable refource was driv- ing to Mr. Temple's refidence in the coun- try. The air of affection, content, and cheer- fulnefs, that Mr. Barnet always found on the face of his brother-in-law and fitter, form- ed a ftrong contraft with the expreffion of thofe countenances he left behind him in town, as well as with his own fenfitioas. Thcfe fenfations were rendered more dif- agreeable, by fome very confiderabie lofTes he met with on the turf. Notwithflanding all the weaknefs of her brother's character, Mrs. Temple had a G 2 great 84 EDWARD. great affection for him, and a very warm defire to promote his happinefs, which (he imagined could not be fo effectually done by any means as by his marriage with Mifs Lewis j fhe had long had this plan in her head, and often regretted that her brother feemed to be little affected by the attractions of her friend, who was a handfbme, as well as a very accomplished woman. When fhe heard of her brother's recent loffes, fhe became more earned: than ever for the accomplifhment of her plan; fhe faw that his affairs would gradually go in- to confufion, from the extreme indolence of his temper; and dreaded that he might be precipitated into more expeditious ruin by gaming : fhe thought thofe evils would be prevented, and her brother fecured in all the happinefs of which he was fufceptible, by his marriage with a woman of Mifs Lewis's admirable good fenfe and prudence. It muft be confeffed that Mrs. Temple on this occafion fhewed more folicitude for her brother's happinefs, than for her friend's; but perhaps fhe had a more favourable opi- nion 14 EDWARD. 8 nion of his character than the reader en-- terrains. She imparted her fcheme to her hufband, and prevailed on him to aflift her in the accomplishing it. The day after the hufband and wife had formed this treaty Mr. Barnet, dined with them ^there was a difli of ftewed carp on the table, which Mrs, Temple had taken care to have drefled exactly to her brother's tafte ; he eat heartily of it, and commended it very much. " Ah ! fifter," faid he, how infinitely better drefled this is, than what we once had at my table," referring to that for- merly mentioned, which brought his de<- ceafed grandmother fo pathetically to his recollection. " I acknowledge it, brother," replied Mrs.Temple,"and could, if I pleafed, explain the reafon of it." She then turn- ed to other fubje&s, addreffing her difcourfe to Mifs Lewis. This was a point of too much importance with Mr. Barnet, as his fifter well knew, for him to let flip without inveftigation. The G 3 fame 86 EDWARD.- fame afternoon he put her in mind of her promife, begging (he would inform him how {he came by fo important an improve- ment. " Really, brother," anfwered {he," I muft confefs that I am obliged to Mifs Lewis for the greateft improvements I ever made." " Say you fo ?" cried Barnet, with furprife; " I had no idea that (he had fo good a no~ tion of cookery." < There are very few things of import- ance of which {he has not a good notion," refumed Mrs. Temple. " Mifs Lewis is cer- tainly a very accomplifhed woman," added her hufband. " She muft be an accompliftied woman indeed" faid Baniet; " it was without ex- ception a dih of the beft ftewed carp I ever tafted." Mrs. Temple obferved with fatisfadtion, after this converfation, " that her brother paid much more attention to Mifs Lewis than he had ever done before." 13 Having EDWARD. 87 Having a mare to run at Epfom, he thought himfelf obliged to attend the races there ; but he feemed to leave Mr. Temple's with regret, and acknowledged that, " were he to indulge his own tafte, he would rather have ftaid." 88 EDWARD. CHAP. XL L' orgueil a plus de part que la bonte aux remontrances que nous faifons a ceux qui commettent des fautes. ROCHEFOUCAULT. TT7HEN the races were over, Mr. Barnet returned to the hotife of his brother- in-law, with Mr. Wormwood, whom he had met at Epfom. This gentleman was his near relation, a batchelor, who fol- lowed no profeffion, but lived on the in- tereft of his money, which produced a mo- derate annual fum, that he had no great de- fire of increalmg. He was one of thofe men who are apt to give their advice before it is afked, and who teftify their good will to their friends, by informing them of their failings. Mr. Wormwood was a man of knowledge and fenfe, but as he imagined that he poflefled a greater ihare of both than he did in reality, and was of a fatirical turn, EDWARD. 89 turn, the liberality with which he beftowed advice was thought to proceed fully as much from pride, or indulgence of his own vein, as from benevolence. He had made a large collection of prudential maxims refpecting the conduct of life, in the ufe of which he could not be accufed of felnfhnefs, as he dif- tributed them freely among his friends and acquaintance, without deriving much benefit from them himfelf. A man of this charac- ter, it will readily be believed, frequently difobliged thofe he affected to ferve, and fometimes loft the friend he intended to warn. Mr. Barnet had a partiality, however, for his coufm Wormwood, arid at this par- ticular time that partiality was ftronger in his favour than ufual, for a favourite mare of Mr. Barnet^having been diftanced at the races, by which he loft a confiderable fum, and was in very bad humour ; but as the owner of the victorious hone was a man of whom Mr f Wormwood had an ill opi- nion, he had gratified his friend by abufing this 90 E D W A R D. this man all the way as they returned to- gether from Epfom. Mr. Barnet and Wormwood pafled fome days at Mr. Temple's ; during this time the former paid unufual attention to Mifs Lewis, and fometimes fpoke in her praife to Mr. Wormwood. This did not efcape Mr. Worm- wood's obfervation. While they walked to- gether one day in the garden, Barnet men- tioned Mifs Lewis two or three times, and once he feemed to hefitate, and appeared embarrafled, like one who has fomething on his mind that he does not know how to communicate. To fave him farther trouble or circumlo- cution, Wormwood faid, " I have a great notion you wim to tell me that you are in love with Mifs Lewis." ** I don't know," faid Mr. Barnet, after a look of furprize, " how you came by that notion, but I confefs I have a great refpeft for the lady." <{ Yes, yes, no doubt, you have an amaz- ing deal of refpect for her. I dare be fworn you think ib," faid Wormwood. "If I EDWARD. 91 " If I think fo, it muft be bccaufe it is fo," rejoined Bar net. " I am not quite fo certain of that," faid Wormwood ; " did you never take a fancy into your head that was without founda- tion ?" " Not fuch a fancy as this ; no man can imagine he is fond of a woman, unlefs he be fond of her." 44 There you are quite miftaken, my good friend j but it is a very common miftake : I have known men, -who, from a traniient glow, a mere freak, have imagined them- felves in love with women, whom on re- flection they hated, as they found to be the cafe immediately after marrying them." " I know nothing of your freaks or fud- den glows," foid Barnet, " but I have a fin- cere and well-founded efteem. for Mifs Lewis." 44 A fincere and well-founded efteem !" repeated Wormwood, with a fneering ac- cent. 44 Yes, to be fure, I have," faid Barnet, angrily. " Lord ! 92 EDWARD. " Lord ! Lord ! what fhort-fighted ani- mals men are !" " What do you mean ?" " I mean," anfwered Wormwood, " that it is a very common thing for good-na- tured men to be miftaken," replied Worm- wood. " Ay, and for ill-natured men alfo, let me tell you that," rejoined Barnet. " You are right, my good friend," faid Wormwood, " Men of all defcriptions are liable to miftake.s j but the greateft of all mif- takes is, for a plain worthy man to fancy he is in love, when he is no fuch thing." " May not a plain worthy man be iu love as well as another ?" Barnet afked. " Not all plain worthy men," anfwered Wormwood. " Why not ?" " Becaufe fome very plain worthy men are not fufceptible of the paffion ; and you, my good friend, are of the number. " Not fufceptible of love !" repeated Bar- net. "Not EDWARD. 93 " Not of the kind of love now in quef- tion," replied Wormwood, with the utmoft gravity. " I well know, my worthy friend, that there is another fpecies of the fame paffion to which you have very great fuf- ceptibility ; indeed no man, I will venture to affirm, was ever more in love with ftewed carp ; or could ihew more partiality to turtle, or to venifon when in feafon for as the wife man fays, and as I have often heard you repeat, there is a feafon for every thing; for venifon and turtle, as well as for green peafe and oyfters : but our love for fuch objeds, however amiable in them- felves, is of a different nature from what we have for the fair fex and believe me, my dear Barnet, this whim which you have taken up about Mifs Lewis, amounts to no- thing like the paffion of love properly fo fo called." " You think not?" faid Barnet. " I am fure of it," replied Wormwood, * c and befides, if you were as much in love as you imagine, and could perfuade the lady to become your wife, it would be as un- lucky for her as for you." Why 94 EDWARD. " Why do you think fo ?" faid Earner. " Becaufe you are not fuited to each other your characters are oppofite." " In what refpeft ?" " In ail refpe&s; yourtaftes are quite dif- ferent: the lady, I underftand, loves reading ; flie feems to be a woman of reflection ; it is well known that you hate every thing of that kind. Befides, Mifs Lewis is a woman of a very clear underftanding ." " Well, what then?" cried Barnet, in a rage. " O ! I aik your pardon, 7 ' replied Worm- wood, recollecting himfelf; "I did not mean any thing ofFenfive, quite the contrary ; your underftanding is in fome things clear alfo ; but neverthelefs your underftanding is very different from hers, and they never wonld blend together." " You really think fo ?" faid Barnet. " Really and truly," anfwered the other; " for, independent of the oppofition in your taftes in general, you cannot but be fenfiWe that you have a thoufand little whims and peculiarities, which your fervants are obliged to iubmit to, and which your fifter was fo obliging as to bear, yet no woman of fenfe EDWARD. 95- fenfe and fpirit could endure ; and none but a. fincere friend like me would inform you of." " I am greatly obliged to you," faid Bar- net, bowing very low. " You will be obliged to me, if what I have urged convinces you of your miftake as to being in love; and make you refolve never to think of a wife, but to die an old batchelor." " An old batchelor ! I'll be damned be- fore I die an old batchelor," cried Barnet with indignation. " I am of a different opinion," anfwered Wormwood, with coolnefs ; " I imagine you will die an old batchelor before you are damned." " I deteft old batchelors," refumed Barnet. " That curfed fellow, whofe horfe dif- tanced my mare, is a very old batchelor; damn him, and his horfe alfo," " Let us preferve reafon in our rage, my worthy friend," faid Wormwood ; " inftead of damning the horfe, if you follow my advice, you'll purchafe him ; and as for the man, 96 EDWARD. man, you may truft that bufmefs to himfelf; but although you fliould hate him, pray hate him for fomething elfe, and not for being of a clafs to which you yourfelf will belong." " Never, never," cried Barnet. " Well, I am convinced it will be fo, and that this whim of your being fond of Mifs Lewis will foon pafs away; at any rate I have performed the duty of a relation and friend.'* So faying, Mr. Wormwood went into the houfe, leaving Mr. Barnet in the garden. EDWARD. 97 CHAP. XII. Je veux une femme indulgent?, Dont la beaute douce et compatiffante, A mes defauts facile a fe plier, Daigne avec moi me reconcilier, Me corriger, fans prendre un ton cauftique. Me gouverner, fans etre tyrannique, Et dans mon coeur penetrer pas a pas Comme un jour doux dans des yeux delicats. VOLTAIRE. n TTR. and Mrs. Temple were walking on **- the other fide of a hedge in the gar- den, and had overheard the dialogue be- tween Barnet and Wormwood; when it ceafed, they turned, and joined the former. Mr. Temple had frequently obferved the effecT: of contradiction, on the irritable mind of Barnet; and it inftantly occurred to him that this capricious difpofition might be made ufeful, in promoting the fcheme which Mrs. Temple and he had i n view. " That wife gentleman," faid Barnet, pointing after Wormwood, as Mr. and VOL. I. H 9$ E D \V A R D.- Mrs. Temple joined him ; " that wife and penetrating gentleman, has taken it into his head that I fhall be an old bachelor. " I do moft fmcerely hope fo," faid Mr. Temple. " Why fo?" faid Earner. " Becaufe if you do not live to be an old bachelor, you mud die very foon," an- fwered Mr. Temple. " I fhould be glad to know what is to hinder me from marrying to-morrow, if I pleafe," faid Barnet. " You never will pleafe , brother, take my word for it;" replied Mr. Temple. " How are you fo certain of that, Sir ?" cried Barnet. " Why truly, brother," replied Mr. Tem- ple, " there are fome things which one is quite convinced of, without being able to give a reafon for fo being." " Quite convinced !" cried Earner; " Yes truly, I may fay quite convinced," refumed Mr. Temple; " yet I might be at a lofs to tell precifely why: But all your ways are the ways of a bachelor; the ge- neral EDWARD. 99 neral expreffion of your countenance indi- cates, I don't know how, that you never wall have the courage to marry ; your drefs alfo and manner of walking are all in the ftyle of an old bachelor. Barnet flared in Temple's face, which retained its gravity with admirable fteadi- nefs j he then looked at his own legs, and turning fuddenly to Mrs. Temple, he faid, " Pray fifter do you perceive any thing in my face, drefs, or manner of walking, that gives me the air of an old bachelor ?" " Why, brother," anfwered fhe, " you are too young to have the air of a very old bachelor; but I mud corifefs I have feen fome very old bachelors who had much of your air and manner." "O! you have," cried Barnet; "and from which you conclude, no doubt, that I ihall be a bachelor all my life." " I own, brother," Mrs. Temple anfwered, " that I think there is a probability that you will die before you marry, but I do fmcerely hope you will live to be an old unmarried man." H 2 That joo E D W A R D. *' That you hope I fhall remain all my life unmarried, fitter," refumed Barnet \vith anger," I make no manner of doubt-; but perhaps you may find yourfelf rnif- taken, and fooner than you think of, let me tell you that" " Although that be your opinion, my dear brother, and the other mine," replied Mrs. Temple with meeknefs, " why fhould this put you in a paflion ?" " In a paflion," exclaimed Barnet furi- oufly ; " who the devil is in a paflion:" " What puts it into your head, my dear, that your brother is in a paflion ? don't you fee he is quite cool?" faid Mr. Temple, addrefling his wife. To prove his coolnefs, Barnet began to hum a tune: and then wheeled abruptly from them and went into the houfe, and left Mr. and Mrs. Temple to continue their walk. Mr. Barnet found Mifs Lewis alone, and the anger with which he was kindled in- fpiring him with courage, he directly made her a propofal of marriage in a more ani- 6 mated EDWARD. 101 mated manner, and with a better grace, than if he had been in his natural ftate. As nothing could be lefs expected, Mifs Le\vis was thrown into fome confufiori, and did not give fo decided and peremptory a refufal as other wife fhe would have done. Barnet preffed his fuit in a more manly ftile than he had ever before ufed. The courtfhip was interrupted by the coming of company. The fame evening Mifs Lewis informed her friend of her brother's propofal, at which Mrs. Temple exprefled the greateft fatisfaclion, combating Mifs Lewis's objec- tions with a zeal infpired by the affection fhe bore her brother. Mifs Lewis long withftood the importu- nities of her friend and the continued ad- dreifes of Mr. Barnet, which became every day more ardent by the provoking infmu- ations of Wormwood : At laft, however, {he *was prevailed on to give him her hand in marriage, to the great joy of Mr. and Mrs. Temple ; and Barnet had the double fatisfaction of overcoming the lady's re- H 3 fiftance, 102 E D W A R D. fiftance, and confuting the afiertions of his friends. Mr. Barnet derived a degree of refpect and importance in the world, from his marriage with a woman of Mifs Lewis's good fenfe and agreeable manners, which his own character never would have pro* cured. With infinite addrefs, me gradually wean- ed him from horfe-racing, cock-fighting, every kind of gaming, and fome other fources of expence, not only luperfluous but alfo difreptitable. Her chief art con- fifted in everlafting good humour, and in rendering home fo comfortable and cheerful, that he loft all inclination to be elfewhere, and preferred domeftic fociety to thofe ruin- ous habits into which he had been led, His greateft enjoyment, however, was a good dinner, drefled exactly to his tafte, and a certain quantity of port wine after it ; if any accident difturbed the regular re- turn of this meal, or the accuracy of his cookery, a misfortune of that magnitude baffled all the foothings of his wife; nothing but E D W A R D. 103 but the lenient hand of time, and a moft unexceptionable dinner the following day, could bring him again into tolerable tem- per: Mrs. Barnet therefore found that a good cook was the mod powerful auxiliary {he could have, in her grand object of pro- moting the happinefs of her hufband; and fhe fpared no labour or expence, until (he engaged one more to his tafte than any he had ever employed before. In the ar- ticle of drink her taik was much eafier; for he drank nothing but mild ale with his victuals, and port wine after dinner; the latter he preferred to the French wines, which he aflerted were all of too light and too frivolous a nature, to agree with an English ftomach; adding, in a common phraie of his, " this (lands to reafon." To make her hufband in reality a man of fenfe or benevolence, was not in Mrs. Barnet's power; but fhe managed matters fo as to make him frequently appear fuch: he was vifited by the moft refpectable peo- ple in the county, ceconomy was combined with hofpitality in his family, and he has H 4 been 104 E D W A R D. been heard to declare, that upon the whole he lived as Comfortably with his wife as he had done with his grandmother. Having prevailed in the great point of turning her hufband from habits which led to certain ruin, Mrs. Barnet was cau- tious of interfering with his taftes or whims of a lefs important nature. As Barnet was a man who acted on all occafions from humour, it was in the power of thofe around him, to lead him or provoke him into any meafure they pleafed ; and as nobody was fo much with him as his wife, fhe might have managed him in all refpecls, had fhe thought it proper or becoming : Yet Mr. Barnet was fo little fenfible of this, that he valued himfelf on the fteadinefs of his cha- racter, in following his own ideas, and never being influenced by thofe of others-; but of all weaknefles, he faid, the greateft was, that of being biafled by women; and he cxprefled the utmoft contempt for thofe hufbands who are under petticoat govern- ment, hinting fometimes," that this was the cafe with his brother-in-law j but that as for EDWARD. 105 for himfelf, he was determined, riotwith- ilanding the regard he had for his wife, never to permit her to meddle in any con- cern above her natural fphere and capa- city." The truth was, Mrs. Temple had too high an opinion of her hufband, to attempt to govern him in any thing; and Mrs. Barnet, who had no defire of governing, never in- terfered unlefs when the object was of great importance. The paffive difpofition of Mrs. Barnet in this particular, was not approved of by her friend Mrs. Temple, who imagined, that by a little more exertion, the former might have turned her hufband from fome very ill-ad vifed projects, and this was fome- times a fource of difpute between the two friends. Several years after Mr. Barnet's marriage, and immediately after the parim boy was brought to his houfe, Mrs. Temple blamed her friend with more warmth th^n ufual, for not endeavouring to put a flop to a project io6 EDWARD. projed of a ridiculous nature, in which Barnet had engaged with uncommon eager- nefs; and fhe concluded her remonftrance, by declaring, that fhe Ihould confider Mrs. Barnet as the promoter of all the fooliih projects, from which fhe did not at leaft endeavour to divert her hufband. " How am I certain that it is in my power to divert him from them?" faid Mrs. Barnet; "perhaps the very attempt might make him, more eager to purfue them, and unqueftionably would in the firft place pro- duce a difpute, and difputes are things I always ftrive to avoid, particularly with my hufband; having often obferved that they are the fources of ill humour between mar- ried people, and fdmetimes of difgufl and hatred. How do I know what degree of enjoyment he derives from thofe fchemes which you think whimfical? and were I to fucceed in diverting him from them, am I certain of fubftituting others which to him, framed and conftituted as his mind is, will afford him equal fatisfadion or amufement ? I am not, my dear friend,", continued Mrs. EDWARD. 107 Mrs. Barnet, " to make my particular tafte or turn of thought the rule of his ; he has a right to follow the dictates of his own fancy, when it prompts him to nothing criminal or hurtful to others." " But this ftrange whim that he has taken about the houfe^ will be hurtful to you, my dear, and to your daughter," re- plied Mrs. Temple ; " he has already thrown away a confiderable fum of money on it, and will, if you do not interfere, throw away more every year." " You forget, my friend," faid Mrs. Barnet, " that I brought no fortune to your brother; am I to attempt to con- trol him in the ufe he makes of his own r" " Yes, certainly you are," anfwered Mrs. Temple ; " and if you remain paffive any longer, in my opinion you neglect what you owe to yourfelf, to your child, and even to your hufband." But to underftand the drift of this con- verfation, it will be requifite to mention $vhat had pafled previous to it. io8 E D W A R D. CHAP. XIII. In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas Corpora. Ovio. A CERTAIN houfe carpenter, whofe ufual refidence was at London, occafionally vifited a relation who refided in the village near which Mr. Barnet's houfe flood: This carpenter happened to make a pur- chafe of an agreeable piece of ground, on which he built a houfe, which he afterwards fold to very great advantage. When Mr. Barnet heard of this, he felt fome uneafmefs at the thought of fo much of his money remaining at a moderate in- tereft in the funds, when it might be fo much more advantageoufly employed, and he determined to follow the carpenter's example ; for this purpofe he alfo bought a piece of ground, and procured the plan of a howfe, more than double the fize of the carpenter's, by the fale of which, ac- cording EDWARD. 109 cording to his own calculation, he expected to gain twice as much as the carpenter had done; or by letting it at what he thought a reafonable rent, he imagined he could not fail to make much more of his money than he received in the funds. Barnet had been ftimulated to this un- dertaking by the tranfient fuggeftions of ava- rice, on hearing the great profits of the car- penter mentioned in feveral companies in, the .neighbourhood ; and this new fancy was kept alive by the pleafure he took in mewing the plan, explaining the beauties and con- veniences of the houfe he intended to build ; but as the carpenter's profits grew lefs arid lefs the fubjecl: of converfation, and as Bar^ net's pleafure in difplaying his plan began alfo to diminim, it is very probable that his natural indolence would have prevented him from carrying his project farther, had he not been ftimulated anew, and his almoft blunted purpofe keenly whetted by the inter- ference of his friend Mr. Wormwood. This gentleman happening to pay Mr. Barnet a vifit, difapproved of the plan of his no E D W A R D. his houfe, aflured him, that the carpenter's profits had been exaggerated ; and advifed him to relinquim a fcheme which would in- jure his fortune, and at the fame time re- der him ridiculous. Barnet was fo much {hocked at hearing a project, on which he valued himfelf not a little, treated in this manner, that he was unable to fpeak, and before he could reco- ver himfelf, Wormwood added, " I fhould be heartily concerned, my good friend, to think that fuch a foolifh and expenfive project was ever to be executed ; but I rely on your ufual indecifion and ficklenefs, that it never will." This fpeech clinched the bufmefs; Bar- net fent for the architect, agreed to his terms, and the houfe was raifed with won- derful expedition. But after the houfe was completely finilh- cd, and the ground belonging to it neatly dreffed, to Mr. Barnet's aftonimment nei- ther purchafor nor tenant appeared ; when it had remained in this neglected condition for twelve months, " did I not tell you," faid E D \V A R D. iix faid Mr. Wormwood to his friend Barnet, " that this would be the cafe ? now you find, when it is too late, that you have already loft a whole year's intereft of your money." " I mall not lofe a fmgle farthing," re- plied Barnet ; " for I intend to add the in- tereft of the money I have expended to the price fixed laft year; and I will not part with the premifes for a milling lefs, no, not to my fifcer." The houfe flood empty another year nobody offering near the fum he had fixed upon as the loweft price for it. " The bidders for this villa of yours, are very backward at coming forward," faid Mr. Wormwood. " They mall gain nothing however by their dilatorineis," replied Barnet ; " for I now mail infift on two years intereft being added to the original price; and if they provoke me by much longer delay, I will add the inter ejl of the intereft" This threat, inftead of making people hur- ry to the purchafe, as Mr. Barnet expected, 1 4 feemed 112 E D W A R D. fcemec! rather to intimidate them, he neve? had a fmgle offer after. Finding this to be the cafe, Mr. Barnet refolved to make fuch improvements as he imagined could not fail to pleafe people of tafte; and render this villa more mar- ketable. He began by forming an oval pond, be- tween the front of his houfe and the river; this pond he (locked with carp and tench, and bought a couple of fvvans to fwim in it; he built a wooden room amidft the branches of a large beech, which flood in a hollow behind the houfe, and made a very neat flaircafe up to this airy apartment, on the front of which was infcribed in letters of gold The Belvtdere. He befpoke two fphinxes of the beft free-ftone to be placed on a couple of pillars, on each fide of the gate ; the fculptor happening to have a lion and an unicorn ready made, which had laid long on his hands, endeavoured to perfuade Mr. Barnet to take them inftead of the~fph.inxes. Mr. EDWARD. 113 Mr. Barnet at firft feemed to relifli the propofal, until it was fuggefted to him by his friend the innkeeper, that as he was attached to the party at that time in op- pofition, his friends might imagine, that erecting thefe two old fupporters of the crown at his gate, had the air of relinquifh- ing his party. Mr. Barnet was fo ftriick with the force of this, that he rejected the fculptor's propofal, and infilled on his own. The fculptor finding htm pofitive fell to work, and did his utmoft to metamorphofe the lion and unicorn into acoupleoffphinxes; and it was under this new denomina- tion, that they were placed as centinels at the gate of Mr. Barnet's new edifice; yet it muft be acknowledged that they ftill retained a caft of their original charac- ters. It was with a view to put an end to fuch expenfive and ridiculous projects, and prevent any farther attempt to improve this houfe, that Mrs. Temple began the ex- VOL, I. 1 poftulatioa ii 4 EDWARD. poftulation above mentioned with her friend: but Mrs. Barnet had fo great an averfion to arguing with her hufband, or any thing which might be considered as croffing his inclina- tion, or difturbing his amufements, that fhc would not promiie to interfere directly nor indirectly in the bufinef* to which her friend prompted her. At length a thought ftriking her, " HI tell you what I am willing to do," faid {he to Mrs. Temple ; " and if you will aflift me, my dear, there is reafon to believe we ftiall fucceed, and it will have nearly the fame effect with your plan. I will propofe to my huibarid, that we ourfelves fhould re- move to this new houfe; we {hall then have it in our power to fell or let that in which we refide at prefent; for this we fhall foon find either a purchafer or tenant at a greater price or rent than my hufband afks for the other." " But how will you be able to bear the pond and the belvidere, and above all, thofe two odious monfters at the gate?" faid Mrs. Temple. " I fliall EDWARD. " I fhall bear the fight of all thefe with very little difturbance, my dear," anfwered Mrs. Barnet ; " and much better than I fliould bear the idea of plaguing my huf- band, by croffing him in things from which he feems to derive enjoyment. Truly, my good friend," added (he, " if we begin to turn into ridicule every amufement of our neighbours, that is not, ftriclly fpeaking, ufeful, and for which we ourfelves have no relifh, we mail be in danger of deftroying the quiet of domeftic life, and producing an evil much greater than that againft which we direct our fatire. Befides, Mr. Barnet has lately difplayed fo much good- nefs of heart, on a particular occafion, as more than compenfates for the little whims we have been fpeaking of." Mrs. Barnet then gave fuch an account of the adventure of the poor boy, as was highly honourable to her hufband, to whom Ihe afligned the whole merit. This converfation happened only a few hours after Mrs. Barnet had prevailed on her hufband to take the boy. Mrs. Temple no I 2 longer n6 EDWARD. longer oppofed her friend's plan of removing ro the new houfe, and felling that in which jQie lived : but it was not neceflary to put this plan in execution; for the very next day a young mulatto, whofe father had left him t confiderable fortune in one of our Weft India iHands, happening to drive his phae- fon through the village near which this curious fabric ftood, one of his horfes loft a fhoe, which obliged him to flop until it *,vas replaced. He was accompanied by a lady of the town, whom he kept ; and as be was then in fearch of a country houfe, he and his companion walked to take a view of that which we have been fpeaking of. The lady declared it to be one of the moft tafly things of the kind fhe had ever feen, and the young gentleman was in rap- tures with the room in the beech tree ; they both were delighted with the fphinxes; one of them, in particular, fixed the atten- tion of a negro footman who attended them. " You feem to admire that creature greatly, Pompey," faid the Lady to the footman. 5 " Yes, EDWARD. 117 " Yes, madam,! admire her very muchj" replied he ; " and mafia fhould admire her more." "How for" faid the lady. " Becaufe," replied the footman, " fhe is very like mafia's mother, and if fhe were made of black ftone inftead of ivbite t her face would be quite almcil the fame." The young gentleman feemed a little out of countenance at this remark, and it was fortunate for Pompey that he was in Eng- land, and not in the Weft Indies, when he made it. However, it did not fo far difguft the mulatto as to prevent him from purchafmg a houfe, which in all other refpedts was fo much to his tafte. He agreed at once to Mr. Barnet's demand, fent an upholftercr from London to furnifli the houfe, and came foon after with his miftrefs to inhabit it. Mrs. Barnet would have brought the poor boy home immediately after fhe had i 3 prevailed ii8 EDWARD. prevailed on her hufband to admit hire; but an order from the parifh officers, who had placed him with the old woman, was neceflary, before he could be taken from her. When Mr. Barnet underfbod this, he highly obliged and furprifed his wife, by declaring, that as he was under the neceflity of going to town within a few days on bufmefs, he would take that opportunity of informing the parifti officers of his inten- tions refpeding the boy; and that after he had received the order, he would call at the old woman's on his return, and bring the boy home with him. If the reader be a complaifant hufband, whofe chief pleafure is to oblige his wife, he will think this piece of complaifance a thing of courfe, and not worth recording ; but as Mr, George Barnet hardly ever thought of doing an obliging thing to any body, unlefs when he was prompted to it by his wife, it feemed neceflary to mention one thing of that nature, which arofe from his own proper fuggeftion, and was in all likelihood owing to the extraordinary good humour he was EDWARD. 119 put Into by the fortunate fale of the houfe to the mulatto. This is the more pro- bable, becaufe, as foon as Mr. Barnet ar- rived in London, he hurried to his friend Wormwood, on purpofe to triumph over him on account of his fuccefs in that tranf- aftion. After informing him of it, and of the profit he had gained, " Now," faid he, ** Mr. Wormwood, with all your wifdom, what do you think now?" " Think," faid Wormwood ; " I think what I have long thought, that it is bet- ter to be lucky than wife. But pray," added he, " what is become of the lion and unicorn?" " What lion and unicorn ? I know not what you mean," faid Barnet. " Why, the lion and unicorn that flood at the gate," continued Wormwood ; " has the mulatto got them to the bargain ?" " You mean the two fphinxes," faid Barnet. " Aye, you were pleafed to call them. fphinxes," replied Wormwood j " but I do 1 4 allure 120 E D \V A R D. afTure you, my good friend, that all the fculptor's labour was not able to conceal the original features of our old acquaintance the lion and unicorn, which were as fully recognized by the whole country, when they flood at the gate of your celebrated fabric, as when they were in the fculptor's court. And let me now tell you, my good friend, that this attempt to convert thofe two royal animals into a couple of bafe Egyptians, was thought as difgraceful to his Majefty's arms, as permitting them to be placed over the (hop-doors of perfumers, milliners, cork- cutters, fhoe-makers, breeches- makers, and other tradefmen ; as in every quarter of London they are now feen with indignation, by all who wifh to keep up the proper dif- tindtion between the king and the cobler." Mr. Barnet, having left Wormwood, went about the principal bufinefs that had brought him to town, and then waited on the over- feers of the workhoufe from which the boy had been fent. They had been previoufly informed by a letter from Mrs. Barnet of his intentions, and immediately gave him aa EDWARD. 121 an order to the old woman, to deliver to his care Edward Evilen, which was the name pinned to the child's cap when he was firft left at the workhoufe, and by which he was called while there. 12* EDWARD. CHAP. XIV. Let not ambition mock their ufeful toil, Their humble joys and deftiny obfcure, Nor grandeur hear with a difdainful fmile. The fhort and fimple annals of the poor. GRAY. A S Mr. Barnet, on his return to his own houfe, approached the old woman's cottage , a young man in a very high phae- ton drove rapidly pad him over the heath, His name was Sir Charles Royfton; he was heir to a very confiderable eftate, and at the age of eighteen, by the afliftance of Jews, and Chriftians of the fame latitude of confcience, contrived to fpend fix times as much money as he was allowed by his guardians. Sir Charles looked frequently behind him, and laughed immoderately, as often as he turned his head; the footmen feemed as merry as their matter. When EDWARD. 123 When Mr. Barnet came to the part of the common nearly oppofite to the old woman's cottage, he found that all this mirth was occafioned by the phaeton's hav- ing thrown down a feaman with a wooden leg, who had not been expeditious enough in getting out of the way, as this youth drove ' along : the feaman was fo much bruifed that he could not ftand; a circle of people from the adjacent hamlets fur- rounded him as he lay on the ground. Sir Mathew Maukim and his lady flopped their carriage, and inquired what was the matter. " It is a poor failor," faid one of the crowd," who has been overturned, and fadly bruifed by a gentleman in a phaeton.'* " Why did not the fellow get out of the gentleman's way ?" faid Sir Mathew. " He tried to do fo; but it was not in his power to run faft enough, being as how he has a wooden leg," faid one of the group. "A wooden leg!" cried Sir Mathew; ? how came he by a wooden leg r" "His 124 E D W A R D. " His real leg was carried off by a cannon bullet in a fea-fight, 1 ' anfwered the lame perfon. "A fea- fight!" repeated Sir Mathew; " what the devil took him into a fea-fight ?" " He went to fight for his king and coun- try," anfwered another, (a penfioner from Chelfea hofpital,) " as was his duty." c Yes, yes," faid Sir Mathew, " that was his duty, to be fure ; we muft all fight for our king and country; but he ought to have got out of the gentleman's way, for all that; he ought to have ftepp'd a little afide to let him pafs." *' Why, pleafe your honour," faid the N penfioner, ' the gentleman drove fo damn'd faft, that the poor fellow could not get out of his way more than of the bullet's ; if he had had time he would have ftepp'd a little afide to let them both pafs." " Well, in my opinion," rejoined Sir Ma- thew, " the gentleman was to blame, and if he were here, I fhould tell him fo." " The poor man feems much bruifed, and unable to move," faid the penfioner. " Poor EDWARD. 125 " Poor creature !" cried Lady Bab Mau- kifh, in a very fympathizing tone, " he is much to be pitied." " That he is," echoed feveral voices from the crowd. " Is that boy the poor man's fon?" faid Lady Bab, pointing to Edward Evilen, who fat by the man, helping to fupport his head with one hand, and holding a piece of gin- gerbread to his mouth with the other; "is that man your father, child?" continued jQie, addrefling Edward. " No," replied he ; "I have no fa- ther." " Where is your mother ?" rejoined Lady Bab. " I have no mother neither," anfwered the boy. 41 What, are they both dead ?" faid me. " I can't tell," faid he ; I never faw them." " Has nobody ever told you, whether your parents were dead or alive ?" "I never faw anybody that knew them." " What 126 E D W A R D, " What a miferable little wretch thou muft be 1" cried Lady Bab, fhrugging up her fhoulders. " Well, but," refumed Sir Mathew Mauk- ifh, addreiftng the crowd, " why do you not carry this bruifed man into fome of your houfes and put him to bed, and give him a cordial, and take care of him 'till he recovers ?" " Why, Lord ! your honour/' cried one of the people, " none of us have fpare beds ; moft of us lie two or three in a bed al- ready." " Ah ! the odious creatures!" cried Lady Maukifli. " I'll tell you, neighbours," faid one, who was well acquainted with the character of Sir Mathew ; " we had beft carry this poor man to Sir Mathew MaukiuYs houfej he will certainly order him to be well taken care of, and he is much more able than any of us to maintain him till he reco- rers." II "Drive EDWARD. 127 "Drive on," cried Sir Mathew, put- ting his head haftily out of the coach win- dow. " Why do you not drive on, firrah," fqueaked Lady Bab, from the other win- dow. " Ah, the odious creatures !" faid the old foldier, mimicking Lady Bab's voice. " The devil drive you both for a couple of hard-hearted niggards," cried the perfon who knew Sir Mathew and his lady. " What a pity to let a man lie alone on the cold ground !" faid a young woman. *' Efpecially a fellow chriftian!" added an old one, who flood by her. " Chriftian or Turk," faid the Chelfea penfioner, " fmce nothing better can be done, if fome of you will help me to carry him into my hut, I'll take the beft care of him I can, and I know my wife will make him welcome. How fare you now, old boy?" continued he, addreffing the fea- man, who feemed to recover. " Thank you, thank you, brother," re*- plied the feaman, " only a little damaged in tb* 128 EDWARD. the larboard fide, and in the ftern j but I hope to live and repay your confort and you for all your kindnefs ; and if I chance to meet the frefh-water fpark who ran foul of me, mayhap I fliall repay him alfo." The failor, being carried into the old fol- dier's hut, was laid on a bed of ftraw, pre- pared by his wife. At that inftant Evilen, who had preffed into the hut with the crowd, was called out by the old woman, who prefented him to Mr. Barnet. The boy feemed uneafy when the old woman told him, that he was to go with that gentleman. " The children are always forry to leave me, pleafe your honour," faid the old woman. " I am not a bit forry to leave you," faid Evilen. " What are you forry for then?" faid Barnet. " To go with^ow," replied the boy. " Your honour muft excufe his ignorance," faid the old woman ; " for he has been but a fhort time with me; and was bred among the low Vulgar at the work-houfe." "Why EDWARD. 129 " Why are you forry to go with me ?" faid Barnet to the boy. " Becaufe you are a gentleman," he re- plied. " What makes you diflike gentlefolks ?" Mr. Barnet afked. " One of them drove over the poor failor with the wooden leg, and then laughed at him, when he tumbled on the ground," faid the boy. " You muft not go, child, for to prefume to blame quality folks," faid the old woman ; " which, to be fure, are our betters, being by the orders of Providence more richer than the poor; and although the hearts of the rich quality, mayhap, are harder than ours be, yet," continued fhe, addreffing Mr. Barnet, " that is not their fault, for your ho- nour knows they cannot help it, on account of their money, which would make poor folks the fame, if fo be that they had it. Might it not, pleafe your honour?" " Perhaps it might," faid Barnet ; " there is no knowing till they are tried." VOL. I. K I wifh 130 E D W A R D. " I wim I was tried," faid the old woman, 'i juft for the fatisfaction of knowing ; but it is not for you," continued me, looking at the boy, " to throw dirt on the rich, for mayhap you may fome day be one of them, yourfelf." " I'd much rather be a poor man, like Nic the old foldier," faid Evilen. " Who is Nic the old foldier?' 1 Mr. Bar- net alked. " He is a poor Chelfea penfioner, who Jives with his wife in that there cottage, and fometimes does a job of work to help the penfion to hold out to the year's end. He is liked very much in thefe here parts, pleafe your honour, becaufe he is always ready with his joke, and tells us ftories of the wars, and General Wolf, and General Quebec, and fuch li -vC great commanders ; but after all, he is but a poor devil, with hardly a whole rag to his back, except upon Sundays, and upon the verfenary of General Quebec." " What is that?" faid Barnet. "Good EDWARD. 131 "Good Lord! does your honour not know the verfenary of General Quebec ?" cried fhe. " Not I," faid Earner. " Well, that is curous," faid the old wo- man ; " but we all know it in thefe here parts, by the means of old Nic. Good gra- cious, I wifh your honour but faw him at the verfenary!" " Why, what the devil is the verfenary ?" cried Barnet. " I'll tell you pirticulary, pleafe your ho- nour," faid {he, " if your honour will only have a little patience." " Well, well," cried Barnet, " let us hear." "Why, then, your honour muft know, that the verfenary of General Quebec comes round, like Chriftmas, only once a year, and then old Nic appears in all his glory, with his red fear- let coat on his back, and fierce cock'd laced hat on his head, and a uniformal fword by his fide ; and then he ftruts away to the ale- houfe, where he ufually meets three or four old foldiers, who comes there to keep the verfe- K 2 nary E D W A R D. nary along with him ; and fo they drinks the healths of all the old commanders who were killed abroad : and then they begins to tell ftories about the wars, and defcribe how the battles were won by the Engliih, and loft by the French and Spaniards ; for your honour knows, that the French and Spaniards never beat the Englifli in their lives, though they are two to one. And then old Nic gives a full and true account of how Ge- neral Wolf was killed, and General Quebec taken pnlbner ; and then they defire blind George, who was once a grenadier, and now iells ballads, to ling the Britiflj Grenadiers^ which he does ; all about Mars the god of war, and all the other gods defcending upon fpcars *, and then they all join in the rorus, and beats the grenadiers march with their tongues, and they are all as drunk as lords, * To underftand this it may be neceflary to infert one ftan7 of the fong to which the old woman alludes: " Great Jove, the god of thunder, and Mars, the god of war; ' Neptune with his trident, Apollo in his car, And all the gods celeftial, defcendtd 'frsm their fpkeres t ' To view with admiration the Britifh Grenadiers." and EDWARD. 133 and then I always helps Margery to carry Nic home. -And then and then, this is the verfenary of General Quebec, pleafe your honour." The old woman, who Teemed to be ani- mated with the fubject, fpoke with fo much vehemence in giving this account, that Evi- len imagined me was in a paffion, and had been giving a bad character of the foldier to Mr. Barnet; the boy therefore faid, " But for all that you have been telling, poor old Nic took the feaman with the wooden leg into his houfe." " That he did," faid the old woman; " for old Nic is a good-natured devil in the main, though he loves fport, and is a little too much on the jokobus with his betters fome- times." a All your jokers," faid Barnet, " are in- clined, out of mere fpite, to throw them out on ready-money people." " But your ready-money people, as your honour muft know," faid the old woman, " are no ways inclined to throw it out on jokers." K 3 For 134 EDWARD. " For which reafon," faid Barnet, " old Nic is more merry than wife." " Your honour is in the right," faid the old woman ; " and that may be the reafon of his being fo poor; for the rich are feldom fo merry as one would expert, confidering they have nothing to do, but are often fad and dull, as your honour muft know by ex- perience. " Is the man with the wooden leg much hurt?" faid Barnet. " Yes," replied Evilen, " for he could not eat gingerbread." " Poor man !" faid Barnet, a little afFe&ed. " Come and fee him," faid Evilen, point- ing at the foldier's hut ; " he is in there." " Hold your peace, ybu little fool," faid the old woman ; "do you think, his honour will go for to enter into fuch a hole. You muft excufe him, pleafe your honour," con- tinued me, " he fpeaks through ignorance, not knowing the nature of gentlefolks ; but he does not mean to affront your honour, more or lefs." "I do EDWARD. 135 *' I do not fuppofe he does," faid Barnet ; *' but there are fuch a number of poor ob- jects, and diftreffing ftories, popping on one from every quarter, that my hand," conti- nued he, pulling out his purfe, " is hardly ever out of my purfe j but here," added he, putting half a crown into the boy's hand, " go and give the feaman this." Evilen ran bounding for joy." There, faid he to the failor, the geutl ^man in the coach fends you that." " God blefs the gentleman, and you both, my dear boy,'* faid the feaman. " Amen," cried the foldier. " I am glad to fee any thing good come from a coach at laft." " Now," faid Barnet, when Evilen re- turned, " I am going to carry you to a good friend of yours." " Ah," cried the old woman, " this worthy gentleman is going to take you to the lady who was fo kind to you." " Are you ?" cried the boy. " I am, indeed," faid Barnet. K 4 Let 136 EDWARD. " Let us go then," faid he, grafping Mr. Barnet's hand. Having made a fmall prefent to the old woman, Mr. Barnet ordered the coachman to drive home. Evilen afked frequently as they drove along, if they were near the lady's houfe, and he ihewed the ftrongeft figns of joy at the end of their journey, when he faw Mrs. Barnet. The neglect which this poor boy had ex- perienced in general, and the hard ufage he had received from fome individuals, ren- dered him peculiarly fenfible to the kindnefs ef Mrs. Barnet, which kindled within his young bofom fuch a glow of gratitude and affection as he had never felt before. Mrs. Barnet could not help perceiving this, and was equally pleafed with that in- genuoufnefs of difpofition, and quicknefs of apprehenfion, of which he gave daily proofs ; and which ingratiated him more and more with this good woman, who felt augment- ing fatisfaction in the thought of faving fo fine a boy from being crufhed by poverty and EDWARD. 137 and neglect, and in the hopes of bringing the rewards of talents and integrity within his reach. As he had been fo lately ill, Ihe poft- poned boarding him at a fchool till he fhould fully recover his ftrength. Meanwhile, Ihe ordered cloathstobe made up, and appointed a bed for him in a clofet adjoining to her own dreffing-room. Edward, in common with all children, de- rived pleafure, no doubt, from the fight of his new cloaths, as well as from the other com- forts of his prefent fituation ; but his own good fortune had not the effect on his mind, which it has been obferved to have on the minds of many; it feemed not even in the fmalleft degree to render him unfeeling to the misfortunes of others, or forgetful of his former acquaintance. Of his remembrance of the old foldier and the failor, he gave a fingular proof one day when fome com- pany dined with Mr. Barnet; for, on feeing more victuals fet on the table than he thought fufficient for the people prefent, he &id aloud, looking to Mr. Earner,, " I wifh old i 3 8 E D W A R D. old Nichadfome of that !" This unexpected wifh threw the company into a fit of laugh- ter ; and Mrs. Barnet, when fhe recovered herielf, faid to him, " why do you wifh fo, child :" " Eecaufe," anfwered he, " it would maintain him and bis wife feveral days, and he would give part of it to the poor bruifed jailor." This reply did not make the matter clearer; but Mrs. Barnet perceiving that her hufband underftood to what the boy alluded, requefted an explanation of him. He de- iked Edward himfelf to inform the com- pany of the whole ftory of the Chelfea penfioner, and the feaman with the wooden leg. Evilen acquitted himfelf of this tafk in the dialect of a child, it is true, yet fo as to intereft every one that heard him, greatly affected the heart of Mrs. Barnet, and {hewed the goodnefs of his own. For as the fick and weakly have in general more fympathy with thofe labour- ing under difeafe or delicacy of conflitution, than the healthy and robuft, fo this judicious woman had obferved, that fome people, while they feem to compaflionate the mife- ries EDWA R D. 139 ries of others, are only pitying themfelves. Such people give proofs of humanity only while their feelings are kept alive by the dread of falling into misfortunes fimilar to thofe which they compaflionate in others, but the fame perfons being by accident raifed above the fphere of like calamities, (hake off their fympathy, and feem to change their nature, like grubs converted into butterflies; who being raifed from the duft on their new lent wings, expand all their finery, flutter from oae flowery object to another, court the fun-fhine, and think no more of their old humble companions. Mrs. Barnet therefore was highly pleafed to find that Evilen was not of this clifpofition, but re- tained his fenfibility towards the inhabitants of the heath, after he himfelf was tranfported to a warmer region. 140 E D W A R D. CHAP. XV. -Non in caro voluptas Summa, fed in teipfo eft, tu pulmemaria quasre Sudar.do. Ho*i T\yfRS. Barnet was not a perfon in whom the emotions of pity evaporate in fighs, or melt in tears, without any other effect nor one of thofe fafhionable philanthro- pifts, who taking credit for an unlimited portion of humanity, by oftentatious fymp- toms of fenfibility, wipe their eyes, pocket their handkerchiefs, and think no more on the wretched, in whofe diftrefs they have taken fo affecting a part. Nobody had heard Mrs. Barnet's fighs, nor feen her tears for the maimed feaman ; yet his ftory had dwelt in her mind, and feeling a flrong defire to fee both him and the foldier, fhe took the refolution of driving to the hut of the latter. 1 i That EDWARD. 141 That me might have the more time for this jaunt, no company being invited but the parfon, fhe propofed next day to her hu- band, that they fhould dine a little earlier than ufual ; and to induce him to agree to her propofal, fhe hinted that two or three of his favourite dimes were ordered for dinner. . He immediately aflented ; but unfortu- nately when the dinner was ferved, Mr. Barnet had little or no appetite, and was in very ill-humour. It is not quite clear whe- ther his ill-humour deprived him of appetite, or his want of appetite put him into ill-hu- mour ; but it is certain, that he fat down to dinner with both thofe difagreeable guefls, and as the firft was greatly difliked by Mr. Barnet, and the fecond by his wife, it is pro- bable that neither was invited, but that the one introduced the other. Mr. Barnet had hardly tafted the carp, till he declared that it was not fuffieiently done. It was immediately fent back to the cook. On its return, Barnet fwore it was worfe than at tirft, quite over-ftewed, and abfolutely not eatable "This mutton, how- ever, 14* E D W A R D. ever, is excellent, my dear," faid Mrs. Bar- net, " mall I have the pleafure of helping you to a little ?" " No I am iurfeited with mutton," an- fwered Barnet pee^v'fhly. tc But I wi(h you had only thought of ordering fome of the venifon we had yefterday to be ftewed. * I fhould have liked a litrle of that ; but no fuch thing is ever thought of in my family." As he finimed his obfervation, a footman entered with a diih of ftewed venifon. " I am glad, my dear," laid Mrs. Barnet, * 6 that it has happened to be thought of to- day." Barnqt was more difappointed at lofmg a pretext for venting his ill-humour, than pleafed at the appearance of the difh. After fwallowing a few mouthfuls, he fent it away, faying, " it was fmoked." " Allow me to help you to a wing of a chicken, my dear," refumed Mrs. Barnet; " you ufed to like chicken, with a flice of tongue. 1 ' 10 Is EDWARD. i 43 " Is the tongue fmoked ?" faid Barnet. " No, my dear," replied his wife. 4< Then I am for none of either," fald Barnet ; " though, if the tongue had been fmoked inftead of the venifon, I might have made a tolerable dinner.' 1 Mrs. Barnet nodded to a footman, who immediately withdrew. " It is very hard," continued Mr. Barnet, " that they fhould have fpoiled one difh, by what would have rendered the other excel- lent." " It is fortunate, my dear, that we chance to have a very good fmoked tongue alfo," faid Mrs. Barnet ; , and explained in gentle terms, that he had nothing to depend upon to recommend him to favout in the world, but his perfonal talents and accomplifhments ; giving him to underftand at the fame time, that with a perfcvering and vigorous exertion of thefe, he EDWARD. 163 he would be more efteemed and more efti- mable than thofe who, ftarting in life with greater advantages, were lefs attentive to the means of improvement. This doctrine funk deep into the boy's mind, young as he was ; and the rapid progrefs he after- wards made in various attainments was probably owing to its influence. Above all, Mrs. Barnet was affiduous to inculcate every principle of religion and virtue of which {he thought his underftanding fufceptible, and without which, ihe aflured him, all other attainments would fail to render him happy, either in this world or the next. After fome inftrudicns of this nature, flio faid one day, " Well, my dear, I may rely on your promife, that you will be very di- ligent at fchool ?" Edward. Yes, indeed you may. Mrs. B. If you fhould deceive me, the lofs will fall on yourfelf. Ed. I don't care what falls on myfelf, but I will never deceive you. Mrs. B. You are fenfible how fhame- ful it is to break a promife ? (The boy was filent.) M 2 Mrs. 164 E D \V A R D. Mrs. B. I am perfuadecl you never tell lies? (No anfwer.) Mrs. B. What does this mean ? Don't you know that it is a great fault to tell what is not true ? Ed. Yes, I have been told fo. Mrs. B. Surely then you would not be guilty of it ? (He made no anfwer.) Mrs, B. What ! Do you ever tell lies ? Ed. Ye Yes, (replied he fobbing,) I do fometimes. Mrs. B. I am very forry for it. Ed. I am very forry for it too. Mrs. B. How came you to be guilty of it then ? fid. I never was guilty of it, till I was feverely whipt for acknowledging the truth. Mrs. B. But have you not been told that liars go to hell ? Ed. Yes, the fchool-mafter of the work- houfe told me fo. Mrs. B. Well, was you not -much more afraid of going to hell than of being whipt? Ed. No, I was more afraid of being whipt than of going to hell. 6 Mrs. EDWARD. t6 5 Mrs. B. How came that ; for you muft furely know that hell is an infinitely greater punifhment ? Ed. Yes, but hell is a long while after this, and the mafter was prepared to whip me inftantly. However weak fuch a manner of think- ing may feem, Mrs. Barnet could not be furprifed to find it in a child of his age, particularly as fo many men and women of every age feem to be influenced by the fame kind of reafoning. Refuming the converfation, after a (hort paufe, " Indeed, my dear," faid me, " you have acted with great folly and weaknefs : Would you agree to be hanged to-morrow rather than bear a pinch of the ear to-night ? Ed. No, I would not. Mrs. B. But you did fomething like this, when rather than bear the pain of being whipt, you preferred the rifle of going to hell. The boy feemed a little embarraffed by this at length, he faid, " At firft, when the mafter told me I mould go to hell if I told M 3 lies, 1 66 E D \V A R D. lies, I believed what he faid, but after- ward I began to doubt it." " How could you have any doubts re- garding what your mailer aflured you ?" re- joined he. " Becaufe I afterwards difcovered," an- fwered Edward, " that the matter told lies himfelf ; which I thought he would hardly have done, if he had really believed that liars were fent to hell/' " That matter is a very bad man, and has fet you an ill example," faid Mrs. Bar- net ; " but now that you are forry for hav- ing been guilty of fuch a mean thing as lying, I hope you will avoid it in future I could not love a liar." " I never will tell another lie in all my life," replied he, with vehemence ; " no, not although I were to be whipt a dozen times for telling the truth. " " That is a brave boy," faid Mrs. Barnet; " and the way to be loved and refpected." The candour he had difplayed in ac- knowledging what he could have fo eafily concealed, increafed the good opinion fhe had of his character, and the affectionate in- terca EDWARD. 167 tereft (he took in him ; while the wholefome nourimment with which he was fupplied, and the encouragement he received at Mrs. Barnet's houfe, had the happieft effect on his confthudon and looks, and he gained freih vigour and beauty every day. The na- tural indolence and indifference of Mr. Bar- net himielf was gradually overcome by the charms of his countenance and the amufe- ment of his prattle. To allow the growing partiality to take root in the heart of her hufband, Mrs. Barnet found pretexts for poftponing the boy's being fent to fchool : in a fhort time however fhe perceived that it would require as much addrefs to prevail on her hufband to allow him to be boarded out of the houfe, as it had been to induce him to admit the boy into it: Mr. Barnet how- ever agreed, at laft, to let him go ; and fhe informed Edward that he was to leave them the following day. At this news his chearfulnefs forfook him, and he feemed dejeded. " Nay," faid Mrs. Barnet ; you muft not look fo forrowful at the thought of go- ing to fchool." M 4 " It i68 E D W A R D. " It is not for that," faid he, ready to'cry. " If going to fchool makes you look for- rowful, I mall not love you," continued me. " I do not look forrowful," cried he ; brufhing the tears haftily from his eyes with the back of his hand, and attempting to fmile in her face. " You ought not to be forry to do what is for your good," added me. " I will never be forry to do what you choofe," replied he, " whether it is for my good or not." EDWARD. 169 CHAP. XIX. Et genus, et formam regina pecunia donat; Ac bene nummatum decorat Suadela Venufque. HORAT. /T-VHE fchool to which Edward was fent had once enjoyed a good reputation, through the merits of the mailer by whom it was eftablifhed : at his death, the widow endeavoured to keep it up by the means of the ufhers; but me foon after married a man grofsly ignorant, and in all re- fpe&s unfit for the office of a fchool- mafter. The fchool however continued to thrive through the ftrength of its former repu- tation. Seminaries of learning, as well as parti- cular fhops, are fometimes frequented more on account of what they have been, than what they are: fo many inftances of this might be produced, that it feems to be a prevailing opinion in this Ifland, that talents and genius, like cats, are raore attached to particular 170 E D \V A R D. particular walls and houfes, than to the per- fons who refide within them. Mrs. Barnet was induced to board the boy at this fchool, by the advice of thofe whom fhe confidered as better judges than herfelf. Although the head mafter, or rather the undertaker of this fchool, was devoid of fenfe and knowledge, one of the ufhers poflefTed a confiderable lhare of both. Edward fortu- nately was put under his particular care, and was fcon diftinguimed by the quicknefs of his npprehenfion and his affiduity in fludy. Mrs. Barnet was happy to hear accounts of this nature, and ftill 'more, when fhe underftood that he was efteemed and loved by his fchool-fellows. After remaining here two or three years, he made a diflinguifhed figure at the public examinations, and never failed to ob- tain one or two of the prizes diftributed on fuch occafions; but he had the misfortune at laft to incur the difpleafure of a perfon of fuch importance, as entirely altered his fituation. Lady Lofty, at this time, lived at a villa at no great diftance from this fchool; which tempted EDWARD. i ?I tempted her to fend her nephew, Lord Fil- lagree, a boy about two years older than Edward, as a boarder there. The refpe&ful attention paid to this young nobleman by the mafter arid miftrefs, his being fent for every Friday evening, and carried back every Monday morning, in his aunt's chariot, added to his title, gave him an importance among his fchool-fellows, which his difpo- fition and acquirements would not have pro- duced. It had been an eftablifhed cuftom with the former mafter of this fchool, to give the boys fome general inftructions every Sun- day, regarding their religious duties and moral conduct. This was thought to have a good effed, and was confidered as one caufe of the profperity of the fchool. The prefent mafter was willing therefore to keep up fuch a profitable inftitution ; and although utterly difqualified for affifting the boys in their other ftudies, he undertook the Sunday lectures himfelf. His method was to make the boys read portions of the Bible ; there he ought to have flopped, or at leaft have bor- rowed the explanation of fome abler com- mentator 172 E D W A R D. mentator than himfelf ; but with a felf-con- ceit, which often attends ignorance, he pro- ceeded to afk foolifh queftions, and to make ridiculous remarks on the facred text. As when, by the fenfation of hunger, a man in a weakly ftate becomes fenfible that his flomach is empty, it forms a favourable prefumption; fo it is much in favour of him, who labours under a deficiency of know- ledge, to be fenfible of his ignorance. But when a man's ftomach is empty, if he has the fenfation of its being full, he is certainly a good deal out of order: our fchool-mafter laboured under this miftake, refpecting his head ; although uncommonly empty, he, poor man! imagined it remarkably full, which prompted him, as it has done fome others, to comment on the Bible, without making any thing clearer or better under- ftood than it was before, except the ftate of their own underftanding. Lord Fillagree, contrary to cuftom, had been left one particular Friday at fchool, owing to his aunt's being on a vifit ; (he was to return however on the Sunday morning, and the fchool being on her way, fhe called at E D AV A R D. 173 at the time when the mailer was employed in the , pious talk above mentioned. Defir- ous of being witnefg to the fuperiority of her young kinfman over plebeian boys, fhe defired that her prefence might make no interruption, but that the examination might be continued. The mafter, proud of an op- portunity of difplaying his fagacity in com- menting on the fcriptures, gladly aflented. Her ladymip being feated, the mafter calkd up the young Lord, and being fenfible that he was apt to blunder, to avoid the probability of leading him aftray, the maf- ter determined to take no new path, but to keep to that which they had frequently trod- den already : in conformity with this refo- lution, he began with the very firft chapter of the Bible. " Pray, my Lord," faid the mafter, " does your Lordfhip recollect how long time God took to create the world?" " Six days," replied his Lordfhip. " Admirably anftvered," faid the mafter ; " and does your Lordfhip recollect what he did on the feventh?" "He 174 E D \V A R D. " He reded from his work," faid Lord Fillagree. " Right, my Lord," cried the matter ; u from which, as I have often informed you, men are mflrucled to reft when their work is finifhed, which otherwife they might neglect to do; for it is a melan- choly truth, that mankind in general are too apt to neglect their mod important duties. Now, my Lord, pray be pleafed to inform me, who was the firft man in the world?" was received affectionately by Mrs. Earner, and with kindnefs by her hufband ; who, during his confinement to the houfe, found fome amufement in the boy's company; for although Barnet never could undergo the fatigue of reading hitn- felf, yet he could fometimes bear to hear a few pages read by another, and he lift- ened with more patience to the little ftories which Edward felected for his entertain- ment, than he had ever fhewed on like, occafions before; fo 1 that the boy was not only a fource of amufement to Mr. Barnet, but a powerful auxiliary to his wife, in the very difficult tafk of diverting his caprices, and rendering time lefs bur- denfome to him. Mr. Barnet's fondnefs for Edward was attended with one circum- ftance which might have ruined the boy entirely; EDWARD. 18.; entirely ; he could not refrain from prefiing him fornetimes after dinner, to drink port wine. One day after Mrs. Barnet left the room, Mr. Wormwood interpofed, when the child was defired to take another glafs, faying it would injure his health. " Pprt wine," replied Barnet, " provided it be genuine, can injure the health of no mortal ; but, on the contrary, as I myfelf am a proof, it has a great tendency to promote health" " And vivacity," added Wormwood. " Very true, coufm Wormwood," faid Barnet, not remarking the irony , *' for I am never in fo good fpirits as after a .certain quantity of port, and I have never been troubled with any co-mplaint fmce I took to port, except the gout, and now and then a fit of indigeftion." Wormwood. Do you not think thofe fnf- ficient ? Bgrnet. Certainly, Mr. Wormwood ; and more than fufficient : yet they are not owing to port, but to the curfed claret and 1 bur- gundy, -which I drank in my youth ; and the reafon is plain. Wormwood. i86 ED WARD. Wormwood. I will thank you for the rea- fon ; for, plain as it is, I cannot fee it. Barnct. The reafon is, becaufe they are weaker, and colder on the flomach. Wormwood. Thofe then who have con- fined themfelves all their lives to water, ihould have the gout oftener and more feverely than others. Barnet. I know nothing about water- drinkers, Mr. Wormood ; I keep no fuch company : but this I do know by experience, that genuine port wine never injured the health of man, woman, or child. Wormwood. Your experience can only ,be derived from two of thofe claflesj you can have none as a woman. Ear net. True, nor as a child. Wormwood. That is not quite fo clear. Barnet. It is as clear as day-light ; for I never tafted port until I was twenty- five years of age, Wormwood. Many people continue to be children beyond that period, coufm ; and I know one who is a very great child even at your age. Mrs. EDWARD. 187 Mrs. Barnet happening to return to the room, her hufband faid, For hunger kindles you and lawlefs want ; But lavilh fed, in nature's bounty roll'd, To joy in anguifh, and delight in blood, Is what your horrid bofom never knew, THOMSbN. HAD Lord Filtagree's ill habits been lefs Confirmed, or had he remained Jonger than he did at the fchool where he was now placed, he might have reaped confiderable benefit from being among a fet of boys who would not bear his arrogance, and under matters who gave it no protection. The petulance of his malice was fre- quently pointed againft Edward ; but moft of his attempts to mortify him ended in the mortification of the aggreflbr. On one occafion, when a number of the boys were playing at cricket in a field near the fchool, and in the prefence of one of the umers, a perfon, who was looking on, being ftruck with the fymmetry, vigour, arid ad- drefs EDWARD. drefs of Edward, afked a boy, who had come to fchcol only the preceding day, \vho Edward was ? The boy anfwefed, "He did not know." Lord Fillagree, overhearing the quef- tion and anfwer, burft into laughter, and faid, " You have afked a queflion, Sir, very difficult to be anfwered j nobody knows who the devil he is. 1 * Edward heard the laugh, and fufpeding, by the looks of the byftanders being all directed to him, that Fillagree had faid fomething infulting, he walked coolly up to him, " May I requeft of your Lord- {hip to repeat what you have juft faid ?" u All I have faid," replied Fillagree in a fcoffing manner, " is, that nobody knows v;hat you are ; you have the misfortune, Sir, not to be known." " And all I fay in return," replied Ed- ward, " is, that every body knows what you are ; you have the misfortune, my Lord, to be known." The laugh was now turned againft Filla- gree ; but Edward returned to cricket with- out joining in it. This EDWARD. 233 This tended to augment Lord Fillagree's hatred againft Edward, which a frefh inci- dent exalted to the higheft point. The young Lord was fond of a diverfion, which, to the difgrace of human nature, was for- merly practifed, at a particular feafon of the year, in the ftreets of London and in many villages of Great Britain ; it confifted of tying a cock to a ftake, and throwing flicks at the poor animal till he was killed or un- able to (land. This horrid diverfion was revived, through his Lordfhip's patronage, by a fel- low who lived near the fchool. The young Lord himfelf, by dint of practice, had ac- quired fuch fuperior dexterity, that while other boys paid but a fmall pittance for a throw, the man declared he would not af- ford one to his Lordfhip much under the full price of the cock. This diftindion was fo flattering to the groveling ambition of the young Lord, that he confidered it as an ample compenfation for the wretched figure he made as a fcholar. Although nobody liked better to ileep in a found fkin, yet nothing delighted him fo much as be- 9 holding 234- E D W A R D. holding others, whether men or beafts, bruifing and mangling each other ; indeed, no kind of amufement Teemed to intereft him, unlefs ibme circum fiances of cruelty belonged to it. When he walked in the fields, his great pleafute confided in throw- ing ftones at all the birds, or other unrefift- ing animals, that he could reach. Saunter- ing alone, immediately behind the fchooi, one morning, he faw a tame pigeon, a" fa- vourite of the matter's, feeding a few yards from him ; after attentively looking around, and believing that nobody faw him, he threw a {tone, and killed the pigeon on the fpot. Whatever pleafure could be derived from the coniciouinefs of fuch an exploit, his Lordmip, no doubt, enjoyed it ; but he could have none from the applaufe of others. The bird being uncommonly beau- tiful and familiar with all the boys, was not only the mailer's favourite, but, what feldom happens to favourites, was generally be- loved. The young Lord therefore durft not truft his greateft intimate with the- knowledge of this at, but retired with ail j i fpeed EDWARD. 235 fpeed to a diftance, that he might not be fufpeaed. Clifton, Edward, and another boy, how- ever, had, from a back window of the ichool, *een the whole tranfaclion. " Let us go tliiectly," faid the boy, " and acquaint the mafter." " /{hall nor," faid Edward, " and I hope neither of you will." " To my knoxvledge," faid the other, u he hates you, and would do you every mifchief in his power." " I know it," replied Edward ; " and if he mould continue to hate me, I am deter- mined that it (hall be without caufe." " I don't like to be a tale-bearer more than you," faid the boy ; Cl but it is a pity that he mould efcape unpuniflied for fuch an a&ion." " He fhall not efcape," cried Clifton. Edward earneftly begged that they would not mention what they had fee a ; repre- fenting, that although the deed deferved punifhment, it was beneath them to appear as informers ; that as they were known to be on bad terms with his Lordihip, it would appear 236 E D \V A R D. appear as if they were actuated by re- venge. U I own that I am actuated by revenge," cried Clifton ; " I will avenge the poor pigeon's death ; for although I fcorn to in- form, I will pick a quarrel with him, and fight him." " You had not beft pick a quarrel with him on this fcore," laid Edward ; " fmce that would certainly lead to the mafter's knowledge of the whole affair, which would be doing in a fecret and indirect manner what you fcorn to do openly." " Well, perhaps you are right," faid Clifton ; " I fhall therefore fay nothing about this bufmefs, either to the mafter or himfelf." This was agreed to ; but an incident of a fingular nature brought the whole to light a fhort time after. Lord Fillagree had found it difficult to introduce the amufement of throwing at cocks among the boys ; many of them, however, were fond of cock-fighting , and although interdicted by the mafter, fome cf them fecretly kept cocks for that purpofe. Lord EDWARD. 237 Lord Fillagree was particularly fond of this amufement, and was prefent, as often as he poffibly couid, at all the cock matches that were fought in the neighbourhood. The moft eminent cock-fighter in thefe parts was a butcher. This man had one very line cock, which had won feveral battles, and gained him a good deal of money ; but one day, being tempted by what he thought an advantageous bet, when the bird was almoft exhaufted with repeated victo- ries, this wretch, with the unfeeling cold- nefs of a covetous heart,, matched him with a frefh cock. The generous animal began this lafl combat with unabated fpirit ; but it loon appeared, from his feeble attacks and tottering fteps, that although his courage was intire, his ftrength was wafted ; his op- ' ponent ftruck him a blow which was deemed mortal ; he lay without motion on the ground, and the victory was declared in favour of the frefh cock. The wounded veteran, however, did not expire on the fpot, as was expected ; but after fome time fhevved figns of recovery. Neverthelefs, the lofs of his money threw the 2^S EDWARD. the man, if fuch a brute may be called a man, into fo violent a r a g e > that, unmind- ful of the paft merit, and unmoved at the mangled condition of the panting animal, " Damn him," cried the wretch, "he will never gain me another milling by fighting ; but he is ftiil worth throwing at, and ib, my Lord," continued he, addrefTmg Lord Fillagree, t: for half a crown, you may have a throw at him at the ufual diftance." The young Lord accepted the offer ; and the helplefs animal would have fallen a fa- crifice to the rafe and wanton cruelty of two creatures, in many refpecls his infe- riors, had not Edward accidentally pafTed that way. After being informed of the circum (lances, he pulled out feven or eight fhillings, all the money he had in his pocket, and offered them to the butcher for the cock, that he might fave fo fine an animal from a fate fo cruel and unmerited. " No, curfe him," cried the butcher, " he has loft me a damnation, fum of money; and I mail at leaft have the pleafure of fee- ing his brains beat out." Edward EDWARD. 239 Edward threw down the money, fnatched up the cock, and declared he would not fuffer him to be thrown at. Fillagree faid, " the cock was the man's property ; that he had a right to do with him what he pleafed." A boy, of the name~of \Vormly, an ob- fequious companion of the young Lord, fupporfed his opinion, which encouraged Fillagree to lay hold of Edward, and en- deavour to take the cock from him by vio- lence. After being requefted in vain to de- fift, he was checked by a blow from Ed- ward, which brought blood from the young Lord's nofe. The butcher, on making the fame at- tempt, met with the fame kind of rebuke from Clifton ; who, with another boy, had juft come up. The butcher returned Clif- ton's blow with fuch a force as brought that youth to the graund, where he received a fecond from Fillagree. The butcher, Wormly, and Fillagree, were now fiercely attacked by Edward and the other boy ; and on Clifton's recovering and joining them, EDWARD. them, Fillagree took to flight, Wormly fol- lowed him ; and the butcher bellowed for mercy. " You ought to be afhamed to pronounce the word, villain," iaid Edward ; " but what you would not {hew to this poor bird, which merited fo much, we will fhew to you, though you deferve none." So fay- ing, he begged his friends to fpare the fel- low ; and defiring him again to take up the money he had thrown down, as the price of the cock, he and his companions walked away j Edward carrying the cock with him, which indeed he had never quitted, having fought all the time wi,th his right hand only. EDWARD. 241 CHAP. XXVI. They that on glorious anceftors enlarge Produce their debt, inftead of their difcharge. YOUNG. following day the butcher had the impudence to make a formal com- plaint to the head mafter of the fchool, that Edward had firft robbed him of his cock, and then, in conjunction with Clifton and another boy, had beaten him unmercifully adducing Fillagree and Wormly as wit- nefles ; who not only fupported the butch- er's accufation in every point, but added frefh matter of charge on their own ac- count ; but in the courfe of the examina- tion the true ftate of the cafe was made ma- nifeft ; the boy, who with Clifton and Ed- ward had been witnefs to the killing of the pigeon, felt fo much indignation at Filla- gree's accufation of Edward, who had acted fo different a part refpecting him, that he informed the mafter of that incident alfo. VOL. I. R " Why 242 E D W A R D. " Why did you not inform me of this immediately after it happened?" faid the matter. " So I would," replied the boy, " had I not be en prevented by Edward himfelf, who fcorned to appear as an evidence againft one whom he knew to be his enemy." He then told the mafter all that patted between Clifton, Edward, and himfelf, at the time. Lord Fillagree was fo confounded at this teftimony, with the applaufe it procured to Edward, and the difgrace it threw on himfelf, that he was unable to offer a word in his own defence, and feemed over- whelmed with confcious guilt. The mafter then turning to the butcher, laid, " If there is no law to punifh fuch un- provoked and deteftable wickednefs as you have manifefted, it is owing to its not having entered into the mind of the legiilature that ever there could exift a wretch capable of it. Your horrid conduct has proved what could not before be imagined, and you muft henceforth be held in abhorrence by every perfon endowed with a fmgle fpark of hu- manity. As for the young man of whom you EDWARD. 243 you have had the effrontery to complain, all the world muft approve of his conduct, as much as they muft deteft yours. Go, vile wretch, hide yourfelf from the eyes of humanity, to which you are a difgrace." The butcher flunk away amidft the hifles of the boys. The mafter then addrefled himfeif to Fillagree in thefe words : " You deferve to be feverely punifhed, both for killing the pigeon, arid alfo for offering to abet, in any way, the odious rage of that vile fellow. I am content, however, to pafs over your behaviour without farther notice, becaufe the pigeon was mine, and alfo in confideration of what you now fuffer, from the wretched figure you make in the eyes of your fchool-fellows, which I am willing to hope will be fufficient to work a favour- able change in your behaviour." Having faid this, the mafter difmiffed the boys ; they attended Edward with the moft genuine marks of applaufe, while Fillagree fneaked off to his chamber, abafhed and confounded at the iffue of an affair, R 2 from 244 E D W A R D. from which he had flattered himfelf with the gratification of his revenge. It was not in the mailer's power entirely toabolifh cock- lighting, although he took great pains to make the boys relinquish a diverfion, the tendency of which is to harden the heart, and to infufe a reliih for fights of cruelty and bloodmed. There feems to be fome principle in nature which renders the fight of righting highly inte- refting to the generality of mankind. In this country, the only mortal combats which are permitted, and prevail as a public amufement, are thofe of cocks; but the ihocking fcenes which were adted on the Roman amphitheatres prove to what a height this tafte for bloody fpe&acles may be brought in a whole nation. To behold men cut and mangle each other; to ex- pofe them to be torn in pieces righting with wild beads, became the favourite en- tertainment of that people, and increafed to iuch a degree, that all other amufements became comparatively infipid ; ,_they re- EDWARD. 245 mained whole days in the amphitheatres, feafting their eyes on thefe horrid fcenes, from which the calls of bufmefs or duty were often too feeble to draw them. Were the Romans of a different nature from the reft of mankind ? or, Were the hearts of that people gradually hardened by the horrid policy of permitting fuch fpe&acles ? Is it clear that thofe who take delight in viewing cocks mangle and kill each other, but think with horror of what pafled on the Roman amphitheatres, would not gradually come to relifh the combats of gladiators and of wild beafts, if fuch combats were permitted by the government and laws of the country? Mankind are efTentially the fame in all cli- mates; the points in which they differ are few and trifling when compared with thofe in which they agree. Britons are more humane than the Romans, becaufe their government is better, their laws milder, and becaufe the fame fcenes of cruelty are riot exhibited before their eyes. The poet's obfervation refpecting vice in general is peculiarly true when applied to fcenes of cruelty : R 3 Which 246 E D \V A R D. Which to be hated need but to be feen ; Yet feen too oft, fami!:;' - with her face, We firft end:.-,-?, then/j/y, than embrace, If then a good government is one of the moft powerful engines for precluding na- tional vice and promoting national virtue, is it not the duty of every Englishman to do what is in his power for the prefervation, not of the forms only, but the ipirit of that free Conftitution which was eftablifhed in Great Britain and Ireland in the year 1688? A few hours after the fcuffle about the cock took place, Lord Fillagree had written a very partial account of it to his aunt, Lady Lofty, imagining that fhe would write to the matter on the fubjeft, and expecting that her Ladyfhip's letter would make him declare againft Edward, and in his own fa- vour. In confequence of this manoeuvre. Lady Lofty fent by cxprefs a letter to the matter, in the following terms : "SIR, " I have heard with aftonifhment that my nephew, the Right Honourable Lord Filla- gree, EDWARD. 247 gree, was infulted in the grofleft manner by a low boy, who by fome overfight has been admitted into your fchool ; this crea- ture, I underftarcd, is fupported by charity, and came originally from an hcfpital. " I take it for granted that you have already punifhed the villain ; but I muft farther infift, that he (hall be without delay expelled ; this is neceflfary for your own character, and without it you can- not expect that I, or others of the firft rank, will permit their relations to remain at your fchool. I am, &c. &c. &c." How much both the young Lord and her Ladyfhip had miftaken the character of the mafter, will appear by his anfwer, which was as follows : " MADAM, " I have the honour of your Ladyfhip's letter, and muft fuppofe that the affair be- tween your nephew and young Edward has been very much mifreprefented to you ; for after a very' full examination into all the R 4 circum- 348 E D W A R D. circumftances, I can aflure your Ladyfhip that there is inconteftible proof of the lat- ter' s having behaved through the whole with equal fpirit and humanity, which in- deed is conformable to the character I re- ceived of him when he firft came to the fchool, and which he has fupported ever fince he has been in it. With regard to the unfortunate circumftance in this youth's fituation, to which you allude, I have only to obferve, that whatever his birth may be, his difpofition, talents, and conduct, are fuch as would do credit to the moft illuftrious. " Your Ladyftiip muft therefore perceive, that if expulfion were a meafure neceflary to be adopted on the prefent occafion, he is not the perfonon whom it would be ex- ercifed ; and even had his behaviour been as blameable as it is praifeworthy, it is my duty to inform your Ladyihip, that his pu- nimment would neither have been increafed jior diminimed by what you might injijl upon, nor by the opinion of peribns of any other rank, except that of mafter of tliis, fchool. EDWARD. 249 fchool. As your Ladyfhip has been pleafed to hint at what you think neceflary for my own character, that being a point which touches me only, it would be unreafonable to expect that you fhould give yourfelf farther trouble about it. *' I am, with all duerefpeft, your Ladyfhip's moft obedient humble fervant, JOSEPH GEORGICS." The immediate confequence of this letter, as the mafter expected, was Lord Fillagree's removal from the fchool. From this time the Countefs often fpoke againft this parti- cular feminary, and public fchools in ge- neral, which {he defcribed as the nurferies of licentioufnefs and hot-beds of fedition, where ranks were too much confounded, and where drudging afliduity and vulgar acutenefs were fometimes permitted to triumph over the higheft diftinctions of birth ; and fhe exprefled her furprife that the fons of the nobility were not kept diftinct from thofe of commoners, by being placed 250 E D W A R D. placed in feparate chambers when at fchooJ, as the peers and commoners are in parlia- ment, by which means the fuperiority of the nobility over commoners, in all praife- worthy endowments, would be as evident in the public fchools as it is in parliament. EDWARD. CHAP. XXVII. -. - We might have fpared our coming hither, Fruitlefs to me, though fruit be here to excefs. MILTOJT. and Edward remained a confi- derable time at this ichool, which proved advantageous to both, not only on account of the progrefs they made in claflical lite- rature, but alfo from the fer vices they reci- procally rendered each other. Clifton's at- tachment to Edward drew the attention of feveral perfons of rank on the latter, by whom otherwife he probably never would have been noticed ; and the high efteem in which Clifton was held by Edward, gave the former an importance in the eyes of a few diicerning men, which he would not have derived from his fortune and birth. The period at lad arrived when Clifton's relations thought proper that hefliould go to che Univerfity ; and when the two youths feparated at the fummer vacation, they ex- prefled 252 E D W A R D. prefled mutual hopes of meeting there, Mrs. Harriet's inclination was, that Edward fhould have a complete education in the firft place j and that he fhould then be left to his own choice, with refpect to his pro- feflion. With this view, fhe wifhed that he fhould pafs fome time at one of the Univer- fities ; but while fhe was confidering how to render this meafure agreeable to her hufband, an incident took place which faved her all farther thought on that head. An old acquaintance of Mr. Barnet's hap- pened to call upon him one day, when his brother-in-law, Mr. Temple, and his coufm Wormwood were with him. In the courfe of converfation, the gentleman mentioned his intention of fending his ion, a youth of eighteen, to one of the Univerfuies. " I prefume," faid Mr. Wormwood; " your fon is intended for the church." " No, Sir," replied the gentleman ; " he has always fhewed an averfion to the church." " He is intended, perhaps, for the fludy of phyfic," refumed Wormwood. "So EDWARD. " So far from it," faid the gentleman, 4< that he loaths phyfick more, if poflible, than divinity." " Your fon may make a very refpedable figure in life, for all that," faid Mr. Barnet ; " for I muft own I was very much of his tafte at his age." " Well, but what advantage," refumed Wormwood, " do you propofe to your fon from fpending two or three years at the Univerfity ?" " In the firft place," replied the gentle- man, " he will be removed for two or three years from the fedudions of London, which I think a very great advantage." " A very great advantage, indeed !" added Mr. Barnet. " It is an advantage, however," faid Mr. Wormwood, " that he might reap in patting his time in any county of England, Middk- fex excepted." " That is very true likewife," rejoined Barnet, after a little mufmg " Yes, to be fure, he is as clear of the feductions of Lon- 12 don 254 E D W A R D. don in Cornwall or Cumberland* as at Ox- ford." " The greateft inducement to ftudy is the pleafure it affords," refumed Wormwood ; " if your Ion has a tafte for ftudy, he will indulge it wherever he goes." " I cannot fay, that hitherto he has (hewn any tafte for it," anfwered the gentle- man. " You had beft wait till he does fliew a little," faid Wormwood, " before you fend him to the Univerfity ; for although fuch a tafte may be ftrengthened and improved, it feldom is created there." " It is precifely, becaufe he has betrayed a diftafte for ftudy every where elfe, that I have taken the refolution of obliging him, much againft his own inclination, to pafs a couple of years at the Univerfity, in the hopes that he may acquire a fondnefs for it there," faid the gentleman. " Why, Sir, you may juft as well fhut a man up in a cathedral for a couple of years, on EDWARD. 255- on purpofe to give him a tafte for the church," rejoined Wormwood. " You muft allow," faid the gentleman, " that it is impoffible for a young man to be fo diffipated at a feminary of learning as in the capital." " I will allow that it is impoffible to be diffipated in the fame manner," faid Wormwood ; '* but lounging all the morn- ing, and drinking port all the evening, are as unlikely to create a tafte for fludy, as paffing the fame time at Hyde Park and the Theatres." " The accefs which ftudents have to the public libraries is furely a great advantage," refumed the gentleman. " I am told," anfwered Mr. Wormwood, " that your own library in the country is an excellent one." " Not equal to thofe in the Univerfities," faid the gentleman ; " and if ftudents do not profit by them there, it is their own fault." " If my fon were to raifpend the time al- lotted for ftudy, it would afford me no con- folation," replied Mr. Wormwood, " that H it 256 EDWARD. it was his own fault ; neither would it maker much difference, whether this happened at the Univerfity or at my own houfe ; only, at the latter I fhould probably be fooner ac- quainted with it.'* " He may attend the public lectures at the Univerfity," added the gentleman. " Whether it is owing to their being ill- attended to, or from fome other caufe, I cannot fay," anfwered Mr. Wormwood ; " but I believe thefe are pretty much laid afide." " If they are," faid the gentleman, " ftill there are many perfons to be found at our Univerfities exceedingly well qualified to affift young gentlemen in their ftudies." " There certainly are," refumed Worm- wood ; " but as your fon will need but one, he will reap no additional advantage by- going, where there are many." " He may be privately inftructed at ei- ther Univerfity," faid the gentleman. " Not more privately," anfwered Worm- wood, " than at your houfe in the coun- try." . " One EDWARD. 257 " One perfon cannot teach another every thing," faid the gentleman ; " particularly one of my fon's age." " My dear Sir," rejoined Mr. Worm- wood, " I am fo far from thinking that one man can teach another every thing, that I have long had a notion that no man can teach another any thing." " How do people acquire learning, then ?" faid the gentleman. " They teach themfelves," anfwered Wormwood. " But what becomes of thofe who cannot take that trouble r" the other afked. " They learn little or nothing," anfwered Wormwood ; "for although a little Latin and Greek may be whipt into a boy at fchool, whether he will or will not, all is foon forgot, if they do not afterwards culti- vate thofe languages from tafte. Believe me, therefore, Sir, that until your fon has ac- qqired a real fondnefs for fludy, until he finds it one of the enjoyments of his life, to which he is led by the pleafure it pro- duces, it will be of little importance to fend him to the Univerfity. Indeed, if be is fent VOL. i. s contrary 258 EDWARD. contrary to his own inclination, the proba- bility is, that his diflike to ftudy and literary fociety will increafe there ; whereas, if he had already fome tafte for fuch purfuits and fuch fociety, he would himfelf be impatient to go there; his tafte would be improved, and he might acquire more literary know- ledge than, perhaps, he could in the fame time, and with equal application any where elfe. All depends on his own turn of mind ; without a ftrong defire, nothing can be learnt at your fon's age. Where many maf- ters are employed, it generally happens that the leaft is learnt ; but he that is fond of ftudy will foon find thofe who can aflift him." The gentleman, after a cc*nfiderable paufe, refumed. " Mod of the young men of rank, in this country, pafs two or three years at one or other of the Univerfities ; an early acquaintance and friendfhip with fome of them may be highly advantageous to my fon, as it has been to many others." " I have heard that argument fo often ufed," faid Wormwood, " as a reafon for fend- ing young men to the Univerfities, that I begin EDWARD. 259 Begin to think it has more extenfive weight than any other ; it operates on the mind like the great prizes in the lottery j people are fo much tempted by them as to forget that it is a lofmg game on the whole ; and that the acquaintance and example of thofe high- born youths may lead others into habits and purfuits which will more than counterba- lance all the advantages to be derived from, their friendfhips, although there were a cer- tainty of retaining them. Befides," continued he, " if your greateft inducement in fending your fon to an Univerfity is his forming an acquaintance with men of quality, I imagine I could put you on a plan which would give him a ftill better chance of fucceeding." " Pray what is that ?" cried Barnet. " Send him to Newmarket and the gam- ing-houfes," anfwered Wormwood. " I believe there is fomething in that," cried Mr. Barnet ; " for there is Tom, Sweepftakes, whofe father was a ccok, and who never ftudied any thing but hazard and horfe-racing ; yet he is hand and glove with a greater number of Lords and Duke$ than any fellow of any Univerfity." s a Mr* 260 EDWARD. Mr. Temple, who hitherto had liftencd to the converfation without taking any part, now addrefled himfeif to Wormwood in the following terms : " After all you hare faid, it is evident, that the utmoft which can be done to ren- der a feminary of education ufeful, is to- unite in, it as many inducements to ftudy as we can, and exclude whatever corrupts the morals, and tends to promote difiipation, Thofe objects are, in fome degree, accom- plimed at our Univerfities; tvhere the tafte of the ftudent may be formed to literature by the fociety and converfation of men of letters, where he has a command of the heft books in every branch of learning, is ftimu- lated by emulation and by literary rewards, while he is fequeftered from the fplendid luxuries of life, the diflipating amufements of the capital, from afTemblies, operas, plays, and has nothing prefented to his view but fuch objects as favour contemplation, and excite the defire of intellectual improve- ment. There is not, indeed, an abfolute obligation on the young men to ftudy; they are EDWARD. 261 are not compelled to their tafks, norterrified to exertion by the fame means that are ufed at inferior feminaries and you yourfelf, Mr. Wormwood, have admitted, that after a. certain age whatever a perfon learns effec- tually, he acquires by his own voluntary efforts ; and that thofe who rely on the la- bour of teachers learn little or nothing. At our Univerfities, no doubt, as every where fife, many young men are averfe to fludy, fond of pleafure, and incapable of fteady application. The ablefl inftrudtors, and the beft inftructions, will be of little uie to youths of fuch difpofitions, and they will receive as little literary improvement at the Univcrfity as they would have done had they palled the fame time in the country or in the capital. The fair queftion is, Whe- ther a young man, with a tafte for letters, and a defire for knowledge, has it, or has it not in his power to improve himfelf more at the Univerfity, than he could in the fame time any where elfe in this kingdom ? Now, that the inducements to fludy, and the means of literary improvement, are united there as fuccefsfully as in any other part of s 3 EDWARD. this liland, or in Europe, feems probable, from this obfervation, that no country, or feminary of learning in Europe, has pro- duced a greater number of eminently learned men than England, the moll diftinguiftied of whom, were educated at its Univer-? Titles." Mr. Wormwood, finding himfelf unpre- pared to make a ferious anfwer to Mr. Temple's obfervation, was driven to the fubterfuge of attempting a jeft, inftead of an argument ; he faid, with a carelefs air, " This fertility of learning is, no doubt, owing, in a great meafure, to the quantities of port wine which is drank at the Uni- verfities." Mr. Temple not deigning to make any return to this, the converfation took a dif- ferent turn. The fame evening Mr. Barnet, who never underftood irony, however obvious, being alone with his coufm Wormwood, faid to him, " I never knew that port wine was fo much relifhcd at the Univerfities." " Relilhed !" cried Wormwood, whom the claret he had drank after dinner had put EDWARD. 263 put him in a gayer mood than ufual; " that // is, (continued he,) moft of the ftudents, over and above all their other improve-* ments, acquire at the Univerftties a decided tafte for port wine.** " It is the beft tafte they can acquire,** faid Mr. Barnet ; " for it is not only the cheapeft, but alfo the wholefomeft wine they can drink I have always found it fo.'* " It does not infpire thofe light airy fan- cies,'* faid Wormwood, " which your thin iparkling French wines produce, but folid, fubftantial, and weighty converfation.** " I have always found it fo,** repeated Mr. Barnet. " Port wine infpires politics as copioufly as the ftreams of Caftalia did poetry,*' con- tinued Wormwood. " As for my part," faid Mr. Barnet, " I never tafte any flream whatever ; but I have been told that the greateft politician in the kingdom drinks^ nothing but port wine.'* " How could he otherwife have ftood fo long againft oppofition ?" rejoined Worm-- wood.'* 34 "IfufpecV 264 E D W A R D. " I fufpca," faid Mr. Barnet, " that the leading Members of Oppofition deal too much in your frifky French wines, and in that fame ftream you mentioned." " You think, perhaps, they had belter apply to the great politician^c/ar mentioned, for a portion of his port," faid Worm- wood. " That is my real opinion," anfwered Barnet. " It mud be owned," faid Wormwood, tc that a very great many people in this coun- try are of the fame opinion." Here the dialogue was interrupted by Mrs. Barnet's joining them. Perhaps it would be too much to affcrt that Mr. Barnet was determined to fend Edward to the Univerfity, entirely by the hopes of his acquiring a tafte for port wine, and fo becoming a more agreeable compa- nion to Barnet himfelf ; but he certainly often regretted that the boy did not relifh it, and was fomctimes a little cut of humour with his wife for encouraging him in his abftinence ; and it is alfo certain that the day after this converfation with Worm- wood, EDWARD. 265 ptrood, he told Mrs. Barnet that he was re- folved to fend Edward to the Univerfity, on purpofe to finifh his education. Mrs. Barnet approved highly of this meafure, which was put in execution a fortnight after. The friendfhip which had fo long fub- fifted between Edward and Clifton conti- nued with undiminifhed fervour at the Univerfity, notwithftanding a corifiderable difference in their characters. The latter difplaying a fire and impetuo- fity of temper which often overleaped the bounds of prudence or propriety, while the pafilons of the other were more under the control of reflection. This difference feemed to have arifen from their oppofite fituations in life, more than from any original difference in their difpofmons or natural powers. One being nobly defcended, the>. heir of a confider- able fortune, fplendidly connected, fur- rounded by thoie who admired his viva- city and encouraged his diffipation. The dependent (late in which the other was placed Simulated exertion and awakened circumfpedtion. The firft ftate often pro- 1 duces 266 EDWARD. duces an arrogant and unfeeling character. This was prevented in Clifton by early hints from his mother, who, notwithstanding her life of fafhionable diffipation, was a woman of good underftanding and great benevo- lence. The fecond ftate fometimes finks the mind into defpondency ; or, which is a ilill greater misfortune, by fuggefting flat- tery and fawning, produces an abject cha- ra&er ; this was prevented in Edward by native fund of firmnefs and manly pride* E D \V A R n 267 CHAP. XXVIII. As, forc'd from wind-guns, lead itfelf can fly, And pond'rcus flugs cut fwiftly through the fky } As clocks to weight their nimble motion owe, The wheels above urged by the load below ; Him emptinefs and dulnefs could infpire, And were hi$ elafticity and fire. POPE. y\ T the Univerfity Edward became ac- quainted with all the companions of his friend Clifton, the natural carelefsnefs and gaiety of whofe temper rendered him lefs delicate in his choice than he ought to have been in lo important an article; the relifli he had for whatever was fingular and ridi- culous in character led him fometimes to prefer the company of thofe who were fo diftinguifhed to more eftimable ibciety; from this, more than from being his kinf- man, proceeded that degree of intimacy which fubfifted between him and Mr. Carnaby Shadow. This young man was the fon by a former marriage of Lady Maukifh, 3 who 268 E D W A R D. who was nearly related to Clifton's mother ; he was of courfe fon-in-law to Sir Ma^ thew Maukiih, \vhofe behaviour to the lame failor on the heath it is hoped the reader has not forgot. As Sir Mathew is about to appear again on the icene, it will be proper to give ibme account of his birth and parentage. It xvas fortunatf for Sir Mathew, who valued himfelf for being much of a gentle- man, that he was born in the city of Lon- don ; for had he been born elfewhere, there is a chance that he never would have pafTed for a gentleman at all ; for it is only in London that people of the fphere of life in which his progenitors moved could have accumulated fuch a quantity of riches, a*, by the courtefy of England, procures the title of gentleman to the meaneft of man- kind. Yet as often as Sir Mathew had occafion to mention his family he pronounced the v/ord rerun do ore, and with as ilrong em- phafis as if it had been emblazoned with the proudeft hieroglyphics of heraldry. AH EDWARD. 2 % All we could ever learn, however, either from written annals or oral tradition, con- cerning the houfe of Maukim, is, that the grand-father of the prefent Sir Matthew was renowned for one of the beft furniihed ilop-mops in Wapping ; and that his father was for many years an eminent oilman in the environs of Drury-lane. His mo- ther likewife diftinguifhed herfelf by va- rious improvements in the myfteries of fmoaking and pickling, fo that the very beft fmoaked tongues and niceft pickles in London were thought to be prepared and fold by her. By the joint efforts of this rcfpedlable couple they accumulated a confide rable for- tune, with part of which they purchafed a moderate eftate at no great diftance from London, to which, in the wane of life, " they retired with their family, confiding of a fon and daughter. The latter died young ; the fon had an UniverGty education, and on, the death of his father came into the pof- feftion of a very confiderable fortune, which it was the ruling paffion of his min W A R D. forfome minutes to fob as if her heart were breaking. When (he feemed to hax^e recovered her- felf a little, " I hope you will forgive me, Madam," faid Edward,' in the moft refpect- ful manner ; " but I heard you hint that your finances were flender at prefent ; may I beg therefore that you will oblige me by accepting of this trifle, till you are in eafier circumftances." The lady, looking with furprize at him, faid, " You are extremely good, Sir ; but I believe I have money enough to carry me to town, where I am not without hopes of getting a fupply e'er it be long." " Why fhould you run any rifk, Madam ?" replied he with earneftnefs; " you may not find your friends directly on your arrival ; what I offer is a trifle only five guineas for which I have no immediate ule, and you mall repay them when you pleafe. I earneftly beg your acceptance of them. Pray do, Madam, you will indeed oblige me very much." The lady defiring to know to whom flic was obliged, and taking his addrefs, at length 10 yielded E D W A R D. 337 yielded to his intreades, and accepted the five guineas. When Edward withdrew, to his pleafure and furprife he met Mr. Temple in the paf- fage. That gentleman had arrived fome hours before on his way to London, and had been detained at the inn by an incident that mail be explained in due time. While he fat in an upper room, he had heard the laughter of the grooms and foot- men, and on one of the waiters entering, he afked what was the occafion of all that mirth ? " They are laughing," anfwered the fellow, " at a kind of a gentlewoman who is juft arrived in a pod chaife. Scarcely having money enough to hold out the re- maining polls, me could give the poftillion only a milling, which to be fure is a little upon the fhabby order in fuch rainy wea- ther ; and me now fits moping by herfelf, until the arrival of the ftage coach, which to be fure is more fitter, an' pleafe your honour, for fuch fecond-hand gentry, than a poft chaife." VOL. i. z Mr, 338 E D W A R D. Mr. Temple defired to be fhewn where the Lady Was, in a manner that indicated difpleafure. " I meant no offence, pleafe your ho* nour," faid the waiter. " I always refpects the cloth, becaufe they orders the beft of whatever is in the houfe, and fometirnes allows to waiters genteelly." Mr. Temple having again defired to be {hewn to the Lady, was informed that a gentleman was with her. Waiting until he could fpeak to her alone, he met Edward, and being at the fame inftant told that the Lady was difengaged, he defired Edward to wait a few minutes for him in another room. Mr. Temple himfelf then went to- the parlour in which the Lady was, and in the moft delicate terms made her an offer of the fame nature with that which he had prevailed on her to accept. " This is very furprifing," exclaimed the X.ady, " that two propofals of this na- ture ihould be made to me in one day." She then affured him that he had been anti- cipated in his generous intention, and that EDWARD. 339 {he no longer ftood in need of the affiftance he feemed fo willing to lend. Mr. Temple had no notion that Edward tvas the perfon who had been with the Lady when he met him in the paffage ; but he fhewed great fatisfaclion as foon as he dif- covered from her defcription that it was fo. " I prefume, Sir," faid the Lady, " that charming youth is a near relation of yours; fure I am, your fouls are akin.'* Mr. Teonple bowed without farther ex- planationj and then hinted a defire that fhe would place the fame confidence in him that Jhe had in Edward, and oblige him by ac- cepting his offer alfo. To this the Lady replied, " that (he was not quite fatisfied with herfelf for having yielded to the intreaties of his friend. " It is poflible," continued fhe, " that I may not have need of the money he has lent me ; but there was fo much goodnefs in his motive for making me the offer, fo much candour and benevolence in his countenance, and fuch delicate earneft- nefs in his manner, that I found them irre- fiftible ; and when I accepted, it was really zs in 340 E D \V A R D. in fome degree to oblige him. The fams motives would have made the fame impref- (ion, continued (he, had your humane pro- pofal preceded his ; but you fee, my good Sir, there is no longer the fame neceffity." Mr. Temple feeming uneafy at her per- fifting in her refufal, the Lady added, " I am exceedingly fenfible, Sir, of your good- nefs ; and although your young friend was in too much hurry to hear my ftory, per- haps you will have patience to learn fome- thing of the perfon you are fo ready to oblige." She then informed Mr. Temple, that ihe was the widow of an officer of the ar- tillery, who had died in the Weft Indies ; that me had one fon, a youth of about thir- teen, who was at fchool in London ; that ihe nad hardly any thing to maintain her- felf and this boy, except the penfion of a fubaltern officer's widow ; that me had been living with a relation in the country for a conliderable time, on purpofe to enable her to pay her fon's expences at fchool, and was now, on her way to town to fee her fon, and make EDWARD. 341 make interefl to get him received as a cadet on the eftablifhinent at Woolwich. Mr. Temple faid, he was happy fhe had informed him of her errand to London, becaufe he had hopes that it would be in his power to promote her views, as he had the honour of being known to the Mafter- General of the Ordnance, and would cer- tainly fpeak to him in favour of her fon ; adding, that from the known attention he paid to the duties of his office, and the pa- tronage he willingly beftowed on the fons of officers, there was little room to doubt of fuccefs, The Lady poured forth a profufion of grateful acknowledgments to Mr. Temple, while he wrote in his pocket-book the name and iltuation of the fchool where her fon was, with her own addrefs, that he might know where to find them in London. The waiter entered to inform her that the flage-coach was arrived ; that he had fe- cured her a place, as one of the paflengers was to go no farther in the coach ; and that it would not proceed for near an hour, by Z 3 vrhich 342 E D W A R D. which time he hoped that the rain, which was very violent, would abate. On leaving the Lady, Mr. Temple found Edward in the pafTage. The coachman having affifted a young woman with an infant in her arms, from, the coach-box, was leading her, drenched with rain, and the water pouring from her clothes, into the kitchen. Edward and Mr. Temple followed them. Sir George Royfton, who has been, already mentioned, and Colonel Snug, of whom the reader will know more hereafter, flood before the fire ; they waited for frefh horfes to their chaife. " If that creature comes hither," cried the Colonel ; " by G d we {hall be all afloat !" Edward drew a large chair near the fire, and expreffing fympathy at the ftate ihe was in, defired the woman to fit down. " I do not mind myfelf," faid the poor woman ; " but I fear for my child." Her apprehenfions were without founda- tion ; for when the rain began fhe had pulled off her cloak, and ftript herfeff of fome EDWARD. 343 ibme other parts of her drefs, to fcreen the infant ; and although fhe herfelf had been foon wet to the {kin, when the cloak and other wrappings were removed, the child's uiual clothes were found quite dry. While the mother, ftill apprehenfive that her child might have fuffered, examined him with affectionate folicitude, the infant ieemed alarmed at the number of ftrange faces that were gazing on him, which Ed ward remarking, gently prefled the woman's head nearer the child, an$l at the fame in- ftant tickling the cheek of the latter, re- peated from Virgil's eclogue Incipe y parve pner t rifu cognofcert inatrem. The infant, as if it had uriderftood the words, diflipated the mother's fears, and re- paid her care by immediately fmiling in her face. Edward then whifpered the Landlady to take the poor woman into a bed-chamber, and give her a dry gown and cloak, for which he would indemnify her. The Landlady did as fhe was defired. z 4 " Pool 344 EDWARD. " Poor young woman," faid the coachman, as fhe left the room, " I am forry there was not room for her within the coach ; fhe has been expofed to the rain above two hours ; and I am fure fhe is drenched to the {kin, and is much to be pitied." " She looks like a new-ducked w re," faid Sir George Royfton, with a laugh. " She is not handfome enough to be of that profefTion," laid' Colonel Snug. " A woman under misfortunes has a right to be pitied, pleafe your honours," faid the coachman, "whetherfhe is handfome or not." " She may have a right to what fhe pleafes ; but nobody ever troubles their heads with thofe who are not handfome," rejoined Sir George, " Handfome is who handfome does^ pleafe your honours," faid the coachman ; " this poor woman pulled the clothes from her o'.vn back, and expofed herfelf to the florin to protect her child-^-that is what I calls handfome." fct Ay, my good fellow," laid Mr. Temple, clapping tfye coachman's fhoulder ; " and what EDWARD. 345 what every humane and feeling man will call handfome." " Parfons, to be fure, are in general men of feeling," faid Colonel Snug, fneeringly. " Brave men are generally humane," xe plied Mr. Temple, fixing the Colonel ; " and when a foldler is otherwife, he difho- nours his profeffion." " The rain was fo violent, and continued fo long," refumed the coachman, " that I fear the poor woman will fuffer in her health." ** Thofe creatures never fuffer in their health," faid Snug ; " I have feen foldiers wives, with children on their backs, keep pace with the men on a march in the midft of froft and fnow, and I never heard of their being the worfe for it." " It is nothing to thofe who are ufed to it," added Sir George Royfton. Mr. Temple, fupprefling his indignation at this difcourfe, and addrefling the coach- man, faid, " Friend, you feem to take fome intereft in this poor woman ; pray what do you know of her ?" All 346 EDWARD. " All that I know, pleafe your honour, about this here young woman juft gone out is, that her hufband is a lea- faring man ; xvho was taken by a prefs-gang in theftreets of London about a month ago, and fent to Portfmouth. When fhe heard of this, flie followed him without more delay, notwith- ftanding her grief for ftich an accident; whereof fhe took her child with her, and remained there until the fliip on which her hufband was aboard failed, and moft of her money was expended on neceilaries to fit him out, which flie fent to him after {he came afhore, by the boatfwain, although her huf- band, like an honed- hearted failor, had de- fired her not to do it, for fear of diftreffing her ; and fo, being fhort of money, fhe took a feat on the outfide of my coach, and to be fure fhe diji nothing but cry and figh, although I faid all I could to comfort her, by telling her of a relation of my own whofe hufband went to fea, and left hei' with five children, inftcad of one ; and he was abfent for nine years without her ever feeing him, and yet he returned at laft in perfect E D \V A R D. 347 perfect health, and with a good deal of money, about a month after his wife's death. I told the poor woman all this to keep up her fpirits, faying, that I hoped the fame would not happen to her, as to the article of dying, but only as to her hufband's return- ing in perfect health, and with a good deal of money ; but all I could fay was not able to comfort her." " I hope you was able to comfort her, however," faid Colonel Snu.g, " when me was ftripped ; for I think you told us me ftripped herfelf at laft?" " When the rain began," anfwered the coachman, " me ftripped herfelf of part of her clothes to fhelter her child ; and without; difparagement, I hope that you, nor none of your relations, ever ftript for a more fmful purpofe." " Do you know, friend, to whom Ihe goes when me arrives in London," faid Mr. Temple. " She told me," replied the coachman, " that {he was going to her hufband's mo- ther, who is a poor woman who lives in Holborn. 348 E D \V A R D. Holborn. Her own father is butler to Mr. Bloffom, a rich nabob from the Eaft In- dies ; but he was fo enraged at her quitting her fervice to marry the failor, that he has not feen her fince, although the failor is of an honeft character and a handfome man ; but handfomenefs in ahufband, pleafe your honour, is nothing to a father, although it is a great deal to a daughter.'* a I am very well acquainted with Mr. Bloffom," faid Mr. Temple ; and I will fpeak to him on the fubject, and I hope he will prevail on his butler to receive his daughter with kindnefs, and provide for her and her child till her hufband fliall return." ct God Almighty blefs you, my good Sir, for your intention," cried the poor woman, who returned to the kitchen with the Land- lady, and had overheard Mr. Temple; "but my father, who is a very honeft man, is fo paffionate, that it will be difficult to bring him to confent to take me home ; and if he did, he would be apt to fpeak of my deav Richard EDWARD. Richard in a way that would break my heart." Mr, Temple defired her to make herfelf eaiy, as he fhould take care to mention the affair in fach a manner as would reconcile her father." Sir George furveyed her with aftonuli- ment ; he could hardly believe (he was the fame whom he had feen fhivering with cold and drenched with rain a little before. Anxiety for her child had likewife contributed to drive the rofe from her cheek, impair the luftre of her eye, and to give her the fickly look of dejection. The altera- tion of drefs, the refreshment {he had taken, and above all the cheering fmiles of her in- fant, had now reftored the native beauty of her countenance, which was alfo augment- ed by the glow of gratitude. " Upon my foul, my dear, I am glad to fee you fo much recovered," faid Sir George ; " I was afraid you had fuffered from the rain. As for the gentleman in whofe fervice your father is, he is my intimate friend. O, I am convinced that he and I together will fooa prevail D W A k D. prevail on him to be reconciled t6 you; and, hark you, (added he, drawing her a little afide, and fpeaking in a low voice,^ you will call on me after to-morrow j there is my ad- drefa; I mall by that time have ieen your father, and will probably have good news to impart ; in the mean time here is fomething to purchafe clothes for your child." So faying, he flipped a guinea into her hand with his card. By this time Colonel Snug was feated in Royfton's carnage, which had arrived the moment before. When Sir George was ftepping in after him, he was followed to the door of the chaife by the young wo- man, who with an air of mpdefty and gra- titude returned him thanks. Colonel Snug was fomewhat ftruck alfo with the favour- able alteration in the appearance of the young woman; and obferving that there were a good many fpe&ators, he was prompted by oftentation, with a flight mixture of good- will, to exhibit his ge- nerofity. 8 " La EDWARD. 35 < " La Plume," he called with an air of dignity, as he drew on his glove ; " La Plume, give this young woman a couple of guineas on my account.'* When the poor woman had exprefled her thankfulnefs for this frefh inftance of liberality, La Plume came to the fide of the chaife, and informed the Colonel that his money was already expended all to within; a few {hillings, and defired five guineas more from his matter that he might give- two to the woman, and keep the reft for future difburfements. " Blockhead," cried the Colonel, " why did you not tell me fo before I drew on my gloves; it is impofTible for me now to fumble for my purfe ; poftillion, drive on." The poftillion obeyed, and the car- riage difappeared. The ruftic group who were witnefTes to this fcene were {hocked ; curfes againft the Colonel burft from every mouth, and when they came to comment upon his conduct,. the general conftruclion was, that he had ordered the two guirieas to be given from flieer 35* EDWARD. fheer vanity, knowing that his valet had no money, and that the order could not be executed. In this, however, they were miftaken. Colonel Snug had really be- lieved that his fervant had forne guineas of his money remaining, and he intended bonafide that two of them fhould have been given to the woman. The Colonel was in the habit of profufion, and although always in debt, he was never in want, and there- fore put little value on fmall fums. He had ordered the money to be given, becaufe he was pleafed with the woman's face, becaufe (he had attracted the people's attention, and becaufe parting with two guineas by a word to his valet, gave him no trouble ; whereas pulling off his glove gave him a little. The fpedlators had no idea that any man could ib cruelly difappoint a perfon in the poor woman's circumftances, merely to fave himfelf fo very fmall a piece of trouble j for the moft felfifh villager has no conception of that degree of felfifhnefs and infenfibi- lity to the feelings of others which exifts among the fons of luxury and floth in 5 capitals, EDWARD. 353 capitals, where the heart is rendered callous by the daily exhibition of profufion con- trafted with want, mifery with mirth, and where people are fo often the witnefles or accomplices of the ruin of friends or ac- quaintance. VOL. I. A A 354 E D W A R D. CHAP. XXXV. La charite fanflifie les adions les plus communes, e? vertus. ROCHEFOUCAULD. i'orgueil corrompt les plus fublimes vertus. part of the foregoing converfa- tion, Edward had fettled every article regarding the young woman, and the ftage- coach being ready, the landlady informed her that the clothes fhe had borrowed were now her own, the young gentleman having paid for them, and for an infide paflage for her in the coach. The poor woman, unable to exprefs her gratitude, burft into tears. Mr. Temple, having handed the officer's widow into the carriage, next lent his affift- ance to this woman. " Dry up your tears," good woman," faid he, u and ftep in ; but led me advife you not to go near the gentle- man who whifpered you, until I have pre- vailed on your father to fee you, which I (hall EDWARD. 355 I fhall endeavour to do as foon as I get to London." She affured him, that fhe would obferve his advice ; and the coach drove away. When he turned about he found Mr. Shuffle and Carnaby (landing behind him ; they had come in fearch of Edward, who prefented Mr. Temple to Shuffle as a friend of his, whom he had prevailed on to dine with them. In a mort converfation which Mr. Tem- ple had apart with Edward, immediately before they fat down to dinner, the former afked whether Edward intended to proceed to London that evening, or remain with thofe gentlemen at the inn ? Edward anfwered, " That Mr. Shadow and he himfelf were determined to go to town very ibon after dinner." " As for Mr. Shadow's determinations," faid Mr. Temple, *i you ought to be fuffi- ciently acquainted with him to know, that their execution depends more on the will of the company in which he is than his own ; A A 2 and 356 EDWARD. and from what I have heard of two of his prefent companions, I think it is moft likely that the one, by pufhing the bottle, and the other, by propofing gaming, will detain him here for this night." " He fhall remain without me, then,*' faid Edward ; " for I am refolved to go to tdwn." It was then agreed, that in cafe Carnaby chofe to remain, Edward fhould fet out with Mr. Temple, who mentioned, at the fame time, his having been already detained much longer than he originally intended ; and that he now waited for a perfon with vrhom he had fome bufmefs, and who would probably call for him before they had done dinner ; foon after which he would order the chaife." During the dinner Myrtle called for a variety of wine, and was continually in- viting one or other of the company to drink. Mr. Temple drank two glafles with him, but refufed when he propofed a third. " I never EDWARD. 357 " I never knew a man of your pro- feffion," faid Shuffle, addreffing Mr. Tem- ple, " who did not love his bottle." " I have known feveral of yours," replied the latter, " who liked to keep themfelves quite cool, and therefore de- clined it." As Shuffle lived by gaming, and knew thathe was looked on as a^ro/^fo/gamefter, this reply pinched him a little ; however, after a fhort paufe, he faid: " My profeffion ! I have no profeffion but that of a gentle- man, Sir." " And did you never know a gentleman, Sir," anfvvered Mr. Temple, " who liked to keep himfelf cool, and therefore Declined drinking J" " Gentlemen! I fpoke of clergymen," "" jfaid Shuffle. " They are included in the other clafs," faid Mr. Temple ; " and in general fupport the character as honourably as the men of any profeflion whatever, without ex- cepting thofe, Sir, who profefs to be gen- tlemen and nothing elfe." A A 3 Mr 358 EDWARD. Mr. Shuffle was of a difpofition to be in- folent, when he could with fafety, and pe- culiarly inclined to be witty on the clergy. Mr. Temple's manner convinced him, that it would be prudent to reierve certain jokes which he had ready prepared on that fub- ject for fome other opportunity. After a fhort paufe the converfadon became more amicable. About an hour after dinner, Mr. Temple called for a bill, faying he was obliged to go to town. This demand for the bill was repeated by Mr. Shuffle, who heartily wifhed him gone, as he felt himfelf in conficlerable reftraint in his prefence, and feared that he would be a bar to fome of his projects. He was vexed, however, when s he heard Edward propofe to Carnaby that they mould go alfo. This being violently oppofed by Mr. Myrtle, Carnaby declared that he could not think of quitting good company fo foon. " Then," faid Edward, " as I am under that neceffity, I will be obliged to Mr. Temple for a place in his chaife." In EDWARD. 359 In collecting the bill, Shuffle made fuch a demand from each as left eighteen (hillings for the waiter. Mr. Temple, after paying his proportion, obferved, that this was a great deal too much. " Pray what would you be for giving him >" faid Shuffle. " The, third part, at the utmoft," replied Mr. Temple j " and in giving more I (hould think I did wrong." " What would you do with the remain- ing twelve ihillings ?" faid Shuffle. " I will be damned fooner than take a fixpence ofi," " There is no need of the alternative," faid Mr. Temple, " as I think the twelve {hillings may be better difpofed of than either by giving them to the waiter, or re- fuming them ourfelves." They all agreed that he fhould difpofe of them as he pleafed. Mr. Temple then rung the bell, and defired that the young man who waited below to fpeak to him might be fent up. A A 4 " Gentlemen," 360 EDWARD. " Gentlemen," faid he, addrefiing the company, " I arrived here this morning a confiderable time before any of you ; and, as I pafled into the parlour, I faw the youth I have now fent for pay half-a-crown to the waiter for a bottle of wine ; he was pale, emaciated, and feemed to ftand more in need of victuals than of drink ; he had, be- fides, a look of forrow which interefted me. * Is that wine for your own drinking, my lad r faid I. < God forbid !' anfwered he, with a look of horror. " On my inquiring farther, he told me, that his aunt was ill of a putrid fore throat ; that the apothecary had fent fome powders of Jefuits bark, with directions that they fhould be taken in port wine. I afked, if he himfelf was at the expence of this ? Be- fore he could arifwer, the Oftler, who flood by, faid, ' Ay, that he is, and of the apothe- cary's drugs alfo.* Well,' refumed the youth, ' and fo I ought ; did not fhe maintain me when I was a helplefs child, after my father and mother's EDWARD. 361 mother's death, and prevent my coming on the parim. ?' f ' It is not every one, however, that would do the fame,' replied the Oilier ; * but thou art a worthy foul, Joe, and God's bleffing will follow thee. This poor young fellow,' continued the Oftler, ad- dreffing me, * has taken as much care of his aunt as if (he had been his mother. 7 " ' Well, and fo I ought,' faid the youth ; * (he took as much care of me as if I had been her fon.' " I then afked him,'* continued Mr. Temple, " by what means he was enabled to maintain his aunt. He anfwered that he was a houfe-carpenter, and gained fornetimes two (hillings, and fometimes half- a-crown a-day. The Oftler again broke in, faying, That the young lad had almoft killed himfelf, by working extra hours, as he called ir, to procure neceflaries, and dodor's ftuff to his aunt ; adding, that, to his knowledge, the very coat that ought to be on his back was at that moment in pawn for that purpofe* " What 362 . EDWARD. " 4 What care I for a coat ?' faid the youth ; * if my aunt recovers, I will foon get ano- ther coat ; but if fhe die, where fhall I find 4 fo kind a relation ?' " Here the tears flowed from his eyes ; and I confefs, gentlemen," continued Mr. Temple, " I was much touched with the dutiful and generous behaviour of this young man ; and but here he is." It was evident from the youth's wan face, and emaciated perfon, that very little of his v/ages had been fpent on his own diet. " Well, Joe,'' faid Mr. Temple ; " how did you leave your aunt ?" " Much better," replied he, " thanks be to God and your honour ; fhe has taken two of the powders and three glafles of wine, and is fo much revived that the apothecary now thinks fhe will recover entirely." " I am glad to hear it," faid Mr. Temple ; . " and have to inform you, that thofe gentle- men defire you will accept of twelve fhil- lings to affift yourfelf and her until , her health is quite re-eftablifhed." "lam EDWARD. 363 " I am much obliged to the gentlemen," faid Joe ; " but the fix bottles of wine you fent from the inn, and the guinea you gave me " " Well, well," interrupted Mr. Temple, " fay no more of that ; but here take the gentlemen's money, and when you are able to come to town, call where I directed." Joe retired, and Mr. Temple faid,