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 Pi l L W7/I TEHEA 1) , Esq'. 
 
 PuMuKl M f. k't.irj/n N?4SMmI Stn/t.hri 177V
 
 THE 
 
 POEMS 
 
 AND 
 
 Mifcellaneous Compositions 
 
 O F 
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD; 
 
 WITH 
 
 EXPLANATORY NOTES on his WRITINGS, 
 
 AND 
 
 HIS LIFE 
 
 WRITTEN BY 
 
 Captain E D JV A R D THOMPSON. 
 
 With a HEAD of the A U T II O R, 
 
 From a Painting by Mr. Gainsborough. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed for G. KEARSLEY, in Fleet Street, and J. RIDLEY, in St. James's Street. 
 
 MDCCLXXVII.
 
 tfnteuD at Stationery ©aiu
 
 fcS 
 
 : 1 1 
 
 T O 
 THE RIGHT HONOURABLE 
 
 FRANCIS DASH WOOD, 
 
 Lord Le DE SPENCER, 
 
 LORD LIEUTENANT AND CUSTOS ROTULORUM OF 
 
 BUCKINGHAMSHIRE, 
 
 COLONEL OF THE BUCKINGHAMSHIRE MILITIA, 
 
 JOINT POST-MASTER-GENERAL, 
 
 ONE OF HIS MAJESTY'S MOST HON. PRIVY COUNCIL,, 
 
 F. R. S. AND LL.D. 
 
 My Lord, 
 
 AS the virtues of Mr. Whitehead were 
 better knov/n to your Lordfhip than to 
 any other perfon, to whom can his Compofitions 
 be addrefled with fo much propriety ? In You, 
 my Lord, Mr. Whitehead found all that the 
 Man of Genius fought, the Friend and Pro- 
 
 7f 3 tea ° n
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 tc6tor. Nature carelefsly produces her Wits, 
 for Men eminent in rank and fortune to raife 
 them to diftinction : fo the Oftrich fcatters her 
 eo-as on the barren fand, and leaves them to 
 be cheriihed by the Sun. The greateft Bards 
 in the more early ages of the world required 
 Protestors, like the Moderns : Horace had his 
 Mectfiias, Shake/pear e his Southampton , and 
 Pope his BoUngbroke : nor had Homer tuned in 
 vain his Epic Song, and follicited alms like a 
 Mendicant Minftrel, if one Prince, or Prince's 
 Minifter, of thofe Seven Cities which con- 
 tended for his birth, had countenanced the com- 
 pofitions of the heroic Bard. But few, very 
 few, my Lord, in thefe days of ignorance and 
 diffipation, are capable of protecting Men of 
 
 Genius,
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 Genius, or of lamenting their mortal diffo- 
 lution like your Lordfhip. The laft bequeft 
 Mr. Whitehead made your Lordfhip was his 
 Heart, the ftrongeft teftimony of his efteem and 
 affe&ion. The firft mark of my refpe£t is to 
 prefent you with his immortal part ; which will 
 ever prove a diftinguiihed ornament to the 
 Author and his Patron. 
 I have the honour to be, 
 
 MY LORD, 
 Your Lordfhip's moft obedient, 
 
 and moft refpe£tful, humble Servant, 
 
 s^t. f;?''i 77 6. Edward Tbompfon. 
 
 a
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 Life of Paul Whitehead 
 
 The State Dunces, a Satire — 
 
 Manners, a Satire 
 
 The Gymnafiad, or Boxing-Match 
 
 ] I inour, a Satire • 
 
 An Epiftle to Doctor Thompfun 
 
 Pag. 
 
 i 
 
 25 
 
 47 
 
 8.9 
 
 109 
 
 150 
 
 : 54 
 157 
 
 Miscellaneous Pieces. 
 
 » acklrcffed to the Ladies 139 
 
 Song in the Entertainment otThe Fair 142 
 Song in Apollo and Dal hue — 147 
 Song for the Annual Meeting of the 
 Governors of the London Hofpital 
 
 A Ballad 
 
 A Fragment 
 
 Verfes on Lady Pomfret's Prefent of 
 Antique Statues to Oxford — 138 
 
 To Doctor King 159 
 
 The Butterfly and Bee 1 60 
 
 Verfes dropt in Mr. Garrick's Temple 
 
 of Shakefpeare 161 
 
 Cupid baffl I ■ ■ 164 
 
 Verfes on the Death of Prince Fre- 
 derick 1 166 
 
 Pao-. 
 
 Extempore 011 hearing of Mr. Pope's 
 Death 166 
 
 Death and the Doctor 167 
 
 Occafional Prologue, at the Opening 
 of Covent-Garden Theatre — 168 
 
 Verfes on converting into a Kitchen 
 the Chapel at the Grcv?> Lord 
 Donnerayle's Seat in Herts 
 
 Verfes on the Duke of Cumberland's 
 Victory at Culloden, 1 746 
 
 Verfes inferibed on The Tomb of Care, a 
 Monument in Mr. R-ich's Garden 
 at Cowley > 
 
 Epitaph on a Marble Pyramid of the 
 Monument of the Duke of Are le 
 
 Verfes on the Name, P. Whitehead, 
 being erafed from the above Epi- 
 taph — I7 8 
 
 Verfes to the Memory of Mrs. Pritchard 1 79 
 
 Verfes to Mr. Brooke, on the Refufal 
 of a Licence to his Play of Guftavus 
 Vafa 
 
 A Song ■ 
 
 172 
 
 175 
 
 176 
 
 177 
 
 To Dr. Schomberg of Bath 
 
 1 bo 
 
 ' 8 5 
 
 PREFACE.
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 DO not know that it is immediately necef- 
 fary for the Editor to affign a reafon for 
 the colle&ing of Mr. Whitehead's Com- 
 positions ' ? but cuftom has rendered it into 
 law, that fome prefatory Apology fhould 
 precede the Work. When fuch a proposition 
 was made to the Friends of the Deceafed, it 
 gave a general fatisfa£tion j and they con- 
 fefled themfelves much pleafed, that the 
 Works of a Man fo valuable to them when 
 living, fhould have his Compofitions refcued 
 from oblivion, and brought forward in a ftyle 
 
 a 2 that
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 that would do honour to his fame. Thefe 
 pleafino- encouragements ftimulated the Editor 
 to purfue the refearch j and with much diffi- 
 culty he recovered thofe Poems which make 
 up this Volume. Mrs. Hutchins his Sifter, 
 Mr. Beard, Mr. Forrest, and Mr. Havard, 
 rendered him every aflfiftance $ and as they 
 were the particular and bofom friends of our 
 Author, they had it in their power to affift 
 the Editor with fuch materials as no other 
 perfons could fupply. 
 
 But the Editor's firft motive for colle&in 
 the literary remains of Mr. Whitehead, was 
 a zealous defire of fnatching from obfcurity 
 the compofitions of a Man, whofe abilities 
 
 had
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 had ever rendered him admired in the world ; 
 and through a true refpedt for his memory 
 and fame. Do£tor Kenrick has made a thort 
 fketch of his chara&er in the Weftminfter 
 Magazine 5 but, though it ihowed the marks 
 of a fkiiful hand and a good painter, yet 
 there were fome informations neceffary to 
 fill up the canvafs, which could only come 
 from his Family and his Friends, and with 
 which the Editor has been fupplied. 
 
 I do not know a tafk fo pleafing to the 
 human mind, as doing juftice to the fame of 
 thofe who are no longer able to defend or 
 affift themfelves : it is a tribute the living 
 owe to the dead, and fuch a one as the 
 
 Editor
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 Editor has now made to the honoured manes 
 of Mr. Whitehead, in collecting the foul 
 and eflence of the Man in his Writings, and 
 placing a golden frame around the laurels of 
 his Wit. Whenever the Man of Virtue dies, 
 his tomb fhould be drefled with the flowers of 
 his merit, to ftimulate thofe who follow him 
 to imitation. When the Hero falls, his 
 efcutcheon fhould be blazoned with military 
 trophies in honour of his atchievements, as 
 the emblems of his gallantry j to infpire the 
 riling youth with a luft to glory and renown. 
 And when the Bard repofes his venerable and 
 reverend head beneath the laurel fhade, it 
 becomes the living to drefs thofe ihrubs of 
 Pawajus, the honourable Ever-greens of his 
 
 mind,
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 mind, in compliment to the fuperiority of his 
 underftanding. This wreath Mr. White- 
 head wove himfelf, to adorn his own brow ; 
 but the feeds of his mental flowers were 
 fcattered up and down the world at random j 
 and though many bloffomed in the fhade, yet 
 their luftre was no ways fullied by the ob- 
 fcurity of their fituation : and as it is not 
 many fweet or beautiful flowers of the fame 
 genus that will form a nofegay, but a variety 
 difpofed with contrafted tafte and elegance, 
 fo the productions of his little garden of 
 Aganippe, when collected together, create an 
 ornamental chaplet for his brow, and a plea- 
 fing pofy for his friends. As the gatherer of 
 thefe flowerets, the Editor claims the meed 
 
 of
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 of the Labourer; he has no fhare in their 
 culture : He was Himielf the skilful Gardener 
 that reared them to maturity, well knowing 
 that one lefs skilful could pick them up, and 
 tie them together for the amufement of the 
 world. 
 
 Such hath been the Editor's task 5 and he 
 flatters himfelf his labour has not been vain.
 
 THE 
 
 LIFE 
 
 O F 
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD; 
 
 WITH SOME 
 
 OBSERVATION 
 
 ON HIS 
 
 CHARACTER and WRITINGS.
 
 !*puq|» rvr- ■ 
 
 T H E 
 
 L I F E 
 
 O F 
 
 &* 
 
 F I ^HERE is not, to the inquifitive mind, an employ- 
 ment more pleafing and inftru&ive, than an en- 
 quiry into the Lives and Writings of thofe who have 
 diftinguifhed themfelves by fuperior abilities, and exalted 
 virtue. Nor know I any other caufe, than that of envy 
 and malevolence, to afiign, why the tribute and reward of 
 praife and merit are held out with a paliied and niggard 
 hand to the Poet, the Philofopher, the Artift, and the Hero. 
 Time and obfervation too ftrongly confirm, that even the 
 
 b 2 very
 
 iv THE LIFE OF 
 
 ttante of praifc, which is fo fcantily granted, is 
 with-held until death has removed the object of that 
 envy, and finally dropped the curtain over the worthy 
 Man that is no more : nor feems this illiherality of mind 
 confined to any age or country ; — for, as in earlier times 
 
 " Seven cities did contend for Homer* dead, 
 
 " Through which the living Homer begg'd his bread, 
 
 fo with us more enlightened Chriftians, Dryden, Otway, 
 Butler, Gay, Lloyd, and others, ftarved :— and yet 
 they had pompous Tombs and Epitaphs at the hands of 
 thole who refufed them a mite, to record their virtues, 
 and hand down to pofterity that fame they fo juftly 
 merited while living. But our Author, the fubject of the 
 following fheets, had no treatment of this fort to com- 
 plain of : he enjoyed life v/ith health to a ripe old-age, 
 in a circle of Friends pofTefTed of judgement and liberality,. 
 
 to diftinguiiTi his abilities, and reward his merits, 
 
 Mr. 
 
 * Smyrna, Rhodes, Colophon, Salamis, Chios, Argos, and Athens.
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, vrc. v 
 
 Mr. Paul Whitehead was the youngeft fon of 
 Mr. Edmund Whitehead, an eminent Tradefman, who 
 lived in the greateft credit and reputation in Caftle-Tard y 
 m the parim of St. A?idrew^ Holborn ; where Paul 
 Whitehead was born, in 1710, on St. Paul\ day, from 
 which circumilance he was fo chriftened. His Father very 
 early difcovered a quick genius and promifing talents in 
 his Son,, but preferred a private to a public education ; 
 for which he placed him under the care and tuition of a 
 learned and worthy Clergyman, at Hitchen in Her t for d- 
 Jhire, where he received his fcholaftic knowledge. His 
 love of the Mufes very early difcovered itfelf ; for no 
 fooner had he learnt to write, than all his letters and 
 requefts to his Father and Family were drefTed in rhime. 
 He was nrft intended for Bufmefs, and for that purpofe 
 was. placed with a Mercer in the City of London ^ with 
 whom the ingenious Mr. Lowth was alfo an Apprentice. 
 An intimacy naturally arofe between thefe Geniuses, 
 
 which,
 
 .i THE LIFE OF 
 
 which foon matured to a firm friendfhip ; for two Youths 
 (■' congenial difpofitions and equal talents could not but 
 love and admire each other : but, as Trade is not cal- 
 culated Tor men of lively parts, and Wit ill agrees with 
 the Yard and the Ledger, thefe young Bards foon began 
 to fpretad the Fcgafcan wing, and explore new feencs and 
 characters. Mr. Lowth attached himfelf to the Theatre, 
 and became an intimate friend of Mr. Quin ; which 
 afterwards brought Mr. Whitehead to the knowledge of 
 Fleetwood, — an acquaintance moft unfortunate and dif- 
 honourable to him ; for he took the advantage of his 
 generous difpofition, and got him to be jointly engaged 
 in a bond of ^3000. After Mr. Whitehead left the City, 
 he retired to the Temple, and ftudied the Law with un- 
 remitting diligence. It was thence he firft threw out his 
 political fquibs, and publicly appeared an Author, 
 thou -h the bond-debt to Mr. Fleetwood's creditors lonp- 
 
 o o 
 
 confined him within the walls of the Fleet prifon ; which 
 
 im-
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &*c. vii 
 
 imprifonment he bore for years without a figh, and 
 with a fortitude that did honour to human nature. 
 The firft whimfical circumftance, which drew the 
 eyes of the world upon him, was his introduction of 
 the Mock Proceffion of Mafonry, in which Mr. 'Squire 
 Carey gave him much afliftance ; and fo powerful was 
 the laugh and fatire againft that fecret Society, that the 
 anniverfary parade was laid afide from that period.* 
 
 In the contefted Election for Weftminfter^ in 1751, 
 between Mr. Trentham and Sir George Vandeput, 
 Whitehead engaged on the part of Sir George, and ex- 
 erted himfelf at every point to fupport his intereft, by per- 
 fonally heading great mobs, and writing fongs and para- 
 graphs for the occafion : but here the Argiunentiun Bacu- 
 Bnum was fo prevalent, that profecutions teemed from 
 the fountain of Law; and the Hon. Alexander Murray 
 fell under the fevereft rigour of perfecution and imprifon- 
 ment, 
 * There is a humorous print extant, defigned by Whitehead.
 
 vlii THE LIFE OF 
 
 ment; v/hofe cafe Mr. Whitehead ftated in a pamphlet to 
 the world in a very mafterly manner, to the fhame and 
 difgracc of the great Duke who fo illiberally interefted 
 himfelf againft the Liberty of the Subject. Falfe evidences 
 re procured in this cafe againft Mr. Murray ; . and 
 his commitment became the debate and bets of Whites, 
 \ bere the Sporting Legislators of England laid wagers 
 according to the opinion of his cafe. Whether thofe, 
 who betted for his confinement, exerted themfelves to 
 procure it, I cannot determine ; but every unworthy 
 wheel was put in motion to rack Mr. Murray, who, on 
 the 6th day of February, *75x> was committed a clofe 
 prifoncr to Ncivgate ; and, though he had been ill for 
 feveral days, he was placed in a room, the windows of 
 which were mattered, and the walls wet, proceeding 
 from the unwholfome fituation of the place, Thefe 
 unfalutary circumftances increasing his diforder, the 
 third day brought on a violent fever : he requefted an 
 
 Apothe-
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, fif* i x 
 
 Apothecary to attend him ; but what was granted to the 
 moll flagitious offender, was absolutely refofed to him. 
 In every diftrefs, with every diforder, refufed the fight of 
 his Relations and Friends, did Mr. Murray ten week? 
 iupport the rigour of this inhuman treatment ; and only 
 for not making an humble fubmiflion on his knees to the 
 Houfe of Commons. Mr. Murray now determining to 
 apply for the relief of the Habeas-Corpus AcT:, Counfel 
 was fir ft to be procured ; but among the fwarms of Legal 
 Orators, not one of eminence was found with rcfolution 
 to engage in the caufe of fo obnoxious a Client : the Britijh 
 Inquifition had ftruck a panic throughout the regions of 
 Law and Juftice, until his Brother, the Lord Elibank, 
 prevailed on the late Sir John Phillips to become the 
 advocate of his diftreffes. This bufinefs Sir John chear- 
 fully engaged in, and in a manly manner pleaded for 
 his Client : but it was all in vain ; the Puifne Judges 
 pronounced the mortifying fentence of his return to his 
 
 c dungeon \
 
 x THE LIFE OF 
 
 dungeon ; founded upon this principle of Law, c that 
 ' the Houfe of Commons was a fnperior Court of Ju- 
 < dicature to the Kings-Bench: Says Whitehead, 
 " What then is become of the boafted Barrier of Britifh 
 " Liberty, the Habeas-corpus Ad? What {hall di- 
 " ftineuifli Britons from thofe who groan under the 
 " moil: arbitrary Governments, if fubjeel: to the like op- 
 <£ preffions of Tyranny? and what fhall defend a Free 
 " Pcoole, when even their Reprefentatives fhall think 
 " fit to conftitute themfelves their Judges, and wan- 
 u tonly inflicl; fevereft pains and penalties by virtue of 
 u their mere will and pleafure ?" 
 
 Thus for five months did this Gentleman endure a 
 noxious prifon ; nor was relieved but by the prorogation 
 of Parliament, on the 25 th of Ju?ic y which put an end 
 to the fefiion, and his imprifonment. (C If there lives 
 <c any one fo abandoned to a love of Slavery, as to re- 
 " main unmoved by this narrative, I fhall leave him 
 
 " in
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, c xi 
 
 in pofleillon of his chains, and think them the moil 
 fuitablc ornaments for fo degenerate a Member of a 
 free Country. But fatisfied I am, every uncorrupted 
 Briton will be roufed at a fcene, much more becoming 
 the meridian of an Oriental 'Tyranny , than the region of 
 Britifo Liberty ; and, though the injury done a private 
 Subject of the Community fliould make little impreflion, 
 yet furely the wound, which the Conftitution itfelf 
 has received through him, muft awaken the hiofl 
 alarming apprehenfions. What has been the fate of 
 one, may prove that of thoufands ; efpecially when it 
 is confidered, that the Statefman is no lefs apt to quote 
 the authority of Precedent than the Lawyer. Who 
 then, at any future Election, mall be hardy enough 
 to exercife the rights of a free Elector, when even an 
 approach to the Huitings, without a minifterial paff- 
 port, has been deemed fo criminal ? Who, hereafter, 
 but muft tamely acquiefce in the authoritative deciiion
 
 vC 
 
 u 
 
 Mi THE LIFE OF 
 
 " of a Returning Officer, when a regular impeachment of it 
 u is held to be fuch a Parliamentary profanation ? Thefe 
 " cffentials in their creation once removed, muft not an 
 " Houfe of Commons become rather a 7uritj/b Divan 
 than a Britijh Reprefentative ? When one part of the 
 Legislature aflumes a privilege peculiar to another, or 
 " wrefts the cognizance of caufes from thofe Courts 
 " erected for the determination of them, what con- 
 " fufion will not arife in the fyftem of Government ? 
 " And, indeed, what fecurity the people are to expect in 
 " fuch an Anarchy of Adminiftration, the cafe of 
 " Mr. Murray too fatally evinces. Though the Law of 
 " the Land has provided, that every Subject fhall be 
 " tried by his Jury, have we not feen a particular power 
 " uniting the three inconfiilent capacities of Judge, 
 k * Jury, and Profecutor ?" — Thus Mr. Whitehead con- 
 cludes his fpiritcd pamphlet on behalf of Mr. Murray, 
 \yhc pref&ons defcrved the arm of every E/7gliJhma?i 
 
 to
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &c. xiii 
 
 to relieve, and the pity of every fufceptible heart.* 
 Thefe public controversies made our Author foon known 
 and efteemed ; and, as the party of the Prince of Wales* 
 Court began to embody, he tided with his Royal High- 
 nefs's partifans, and became the Champion and Bard of 
 lLeicejler-Honfe. The firft pieces which he gave to the 
 world, that drew him any fame, were, The State Dunces y 
 and Manner S) a Satire. The firft was written in 1733, 
 and inferibed to Mr. Pope; the laft was publifhcd in 
 1738. Thefe compositions very early declare our Au- 
 thor's Political principles, which W T ere ftridly Republi- 
 can ; animated with the infpiring zeal for Liberty,— -a 
 patriot flame that always burns the pureft in the breafts of 
 
 Men 
 
 * I would have printed this Pamphlet with the Works of Mr. 
 Whitehead, but it was not interefting enough to ftand in the 
 Volume, and therefore I have given long extracts from it. C. Pug h 
 printed it, in Fket-Jireet, in 1751, for fix-pence, with this title, " The 
 " Cafe of the Hon. Alexander Murray, Efq, in an Appeal to the 
 " People of Great-Britain ; more particularly the Inhabitants of the 
 " City and Liberty oiWeftminftcr"
 
 xiv HE L I F E O F 
 
 Men of Genius. But muft we not be furprifed to fee our 
 Author a conftant attendant at Court, yet in all his 
 lings fo oppofed to it ? But we can anfwer this with 
 truth : it was not an alteration of principle, but to ac- 
 company his friends, whom he never deferted. 
 
 " While cringing crouds at faithlcfs Levees wait, 
 
 DO 
 
 " Fond to be Fools of Fame, or Slaves of State ; 
 <c How blefs'd thy fate, whom calmer hours attend, 
 
 " Peace thy companion, Famp thy faithful friend ! 
 
 State Dunces. 
 
 "Well — of all plagues, which make mankind their 
 
 " fport, 
 " Guard me, ye Heav'ns ! from that worft plague — 
 
 €i a Court. 
 " 'Midft the mad manfions of Moor-jields, I'd be 
 t£ A ftraw-crown'd Monarch, in mock majefty, 
 ci Rather than Sovereign rule Britannia s fate, 
 " Curs'd with the lollies, and the farce of State. 
 
 " Than
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, & e . xv 
 
 " Than Crowns, ye Gods, be any ftate my doom, 
 " Or any dungeon, but — a Drawing- Room. 
 
 This addrefs to Patriotifm is infpired, manly, and 
 poetical. 
 
 " Thrice happy Patriot ! whom no Courts debafe, 
 u No Titles leffen, and no Stars difgrace. 
 " Still nod the Plumage o'er the brainlefs head ; 
 " Still o'er the faithlefs heart the Ribband fpread ; 
 " While You, with Roman Virtue arm'd, difdain 
 " The tinfel trappings and the glitt'ring chain ; 
 " Fond of your Freedom fpurn the venal Fee, 
 " And prove He's only Great — who dare be Free. 
 
 This is truly the language of Genius and Patriotifm, 
 and befpeaks the Author a natural and avowed enemy to 
 Kings and arbitrary power. 
 
 Speaking of Honour in the fame Poem, his language 
 is manly, eafy, and fententious. 
 
 LC 
 
 Afk
 
 xvi THE LIFE OF 
 
 " Afk ye, What's Honour ? I'll the truth impart, 
 
 <£ Know, honour, then, is Honefty of Heart. 
 
 " To the fwect fcenes of focial Stow repair, 
 
 " And fearch the Matter's breart— You'll find it there. 
 
 <£ Too proud to grace the Sycophant or Slave, 
 
 <c It only harbours with the Wife and Brave. 
 
 " Blum to behold this Ray of Nature made 
 
 cc The victim of a Ribband, or Cockade. 
 
 No lines can be more animated than thefe, which highly 
 befpcak the dignity of the Man, and his noble fpirit of 
 Honour and Independence. 
 
 * £ Pcrifh my verfe ! whene'er one venal line 
 
 u Bedaubs a Duke, or makes a King divine. 
 
 <c Firft bid me fwear, he's found who has the plague, 
 
 <£ Or Horace rivals Stanhope at the Harue. 
 
 cf What ! mail I turn a Pandar to the Throne, 
 
 f £ And lift with Bell to roar for Half-a-Crown ? 
 
 Manners.
 
 PAUL WHITEHEA D, &c. xvii 
 
 This Poem, in which there are many beauties, con- 
 cludes with a compliment to the Prince of Wales. 
 
 The reputation which this Poem procured him, ap- 
 pears from the various Editions it paffed through ; and was 
 the means afterwards of producing another, under the 
 title of Honour, not inferior in the fpirit of Poetry and 
 Patriot Virtue. It is by thefe compofitions we are to 
 judge of Mr. Whitehead : by his Poefy we muft con- 
 clude him to be bleffed with a peculiar enthufiafni for 
 Public Virtue ; and the feverity, with which he laflies 
 private vices and public crimes, does honour to his heart 
 and underflanding : yet the company which he kept, 
 laid him under the cenfure of the world, from the fufpicion 
 of his being a Tory ; though no man fpeaks with fuch zeal 
 and warmth againft Kings and Courts, or breathes a 
 more genuine fpirit of Independence. 
 
 a
 
 xviii THE LIFE OF 
 
 " I cannot truckle to a Slave in State, 
 M And praife a Blockhead's wit, becaufe he's great, 
 " See with what zeal yon tiny Infect burns, 
 " And follows Queens from palaces to urns -> 
 <c A Mitre may repay his heav'nly Crown, 
 " And, while he decks her brow, adorn his own. 
 
 Manners* 
 Thus again in his Poem of Honour, 
 
 " Guilt ftill is guilt, to me, in Slave or King, 
 " Fctter'd in Cells, or garter'd in the Ring : 
 " And yet, behold how various the reward, 
 " Wild falls a Felon, Walpole mounts a Lord ! 
 " Blaze, meteors, blaze ! to me is ftill the fame 
 <c The Cart of Juftice, and the Coach of Shame 
 " Vice levels all, however high or low; 
 " And all the difference but confifts in fhow : 
 u Who afks an alms, or fupplicates a Place, 
 " Alike is beggar, though in rags or lace ; 
 
 " Alike
 
 PAUL WHITEHEA D, fl* 
 
 " Alike his Country's fcandal, and its curfe, 
 " Who vends a Vote, or who purloins a purfe ; 
 " Thy Gamblers, Bridewell^ and Saint James\ Bites, 
 " The Rooks of Mordi?ivton\, and Sharks at Whites* 
 
 Honour. 
 
 Mr. Whitehead's aiTociates and his principles were fo 
 very different, that I am inclined to believe, it was rather 
 an unfhaken friendfhip, and gratitude to thofe who 
 had firft taken him up, when he launched on the Mare 
 criticum as a Poet, that produced fuch a fteadinefs on 
 his part, than any party prejudice, or biafs to partial men ; 
 for we fee Mr. Whitehead, through a long and honour- 
 able life, uniform, refpe&ed, ingenuous, and beloved. 
 His works are apparently a ftrong imitation of Mr. Pope ; 
 for, that Author's metre being the mode of the day, 
 he rather chofe to be an humble Imitator of one uni- 
 verfally famous, than a fmall Original without weight 
 to attract the attention of the world : and, though this 
 
 d 2 hath
 
 xx THE LIFE OF 
 
 hath been the cafe of many others befidcs himfelf, 
 yet there is as much rifk of the Poet's reputation, as 
 of the Painter's, or the Actor's ; — for, unfortunately 
 for men in general, when they become profeffed Imita- 
 tors, they are often apt to reft in the defects, rather 
 than in the beauties, of thofe they copy. But, as there is 
 no general rule without an exception, fo Whitehead 
 obtained fame by boldly venturing on the fame Pegafus 
 that carried Pope ; and, if he failed in fmoothnefs and 
 accuracy, he made ample amends by the boldnefs and 
 manlinefs of his iatire ; for, if Pope rode this P ar72ajjla7t 
 Placer lighter and eaiier, Whitehead rode bolder and 
 with more manly grace. Great Poets, Painters, and 
 Actors, have ever fpawned myriads of tiny Imitators : 
 we have had a legion of little Miltons, and lefs Popes \ 
 and Guido and Angelo have made as many inferior 
 pencils, as they had hairs in their brufhes : even the late 
 glorious and manly Churchill produced Bardlings like 
 
 the
 
 PAUL WHITEHEA D, Vc. xxj 
 
 the teeth otCadmus* Dragon, who, without the vigour and 
 poignancy to flay each other, died as foon as they were 
 born. There cannot be an excelling Man in any country, 
 but he gives birth to thoufands \ but to fuch abortions Mr. 
 Whitehead was an exception, for he did honour to the 
 Man he cendefcended to imitate. It is the fame with 
 Actors : we have feen a thoufand o^^-Garricks, but all 
 their imitations were errors : and ftars of a lefs luftre 
 have been copied ; the Roar of Holland, the Whining 
 of Powell, and the Gnafliing of Barry, have all had 
 adopters. Original Genius is a flower of fo rare a growth, 
 and Nature is fo barren in her production of it, that, 
 whenever it lifts its brilliant and beautiful head above the 
 furface of its mother Earth, the inferior race of men 
 croud around to admire, to {hatch a virtue and a grace, 
 and, pleafed with its qualities, attempt with infinite 
 labour at imitation. 
 
 Where
 
 xxii THE LIFE OF 
 
 Where Mr. Whitehead failed in genius, he rofe in 
 judgement ; but a manly expreffion, and an eafy-flowing 
 ftream of Poefy, marked his defcent from the fountain of 
 Helicon ; nor was he without true humour, as his Gym- 
 nafiad will prove, which was written in ridicule of a 
 brutiiTi cuftom of Boxing, of which the illuftrious Duke 
 of Cumberland (famous for the defeat of the Rebel 
 Army in 1745) was a great encourager. This Poem 
 was printed in Three Books, about 1748, and addreffed, 
 in a burlefque manner, to the mod Puiffant and Invincible 
 Mr. J. Broughton, who was the Champion of the 
 Athletic Race. Thus he defcribes him, when entering 
 on a battle with Stephenson : 
 
 <c Now Neptune* Offspring, dreadfully ferene, 
 " Of fize gigantic, and tremendous mien, 
 " Steps forth, and 'midft the fated Lifts appears ; 
 " P.ev'rend his form, but yet not worn with years. 
 
 " Soon
 
 PAUL WHITEIIEA D, fife. xxiii 
 
 " Soon as the Ring their ancient Warrior view'd, 
 " Joy fill'd their hearts, and thund'ring fliouts enfu'd ; 
 " Loud as when o'er Thamefes* gentle flood, 
 " Superior with the Triton Youths he row'd ; 
 " While far a-hcad his winged Wherry flew, 
 " Touch'd the glad more, and claim' d the Badge its 
 " due. 
 
 The preparation for the Combat is well defer i bed, 
 and the allufions made to the Claflic Authors are truly- 
 humorous and good ; and Latinizing the Eng/iJJj names 
 adds a higher colour to the burlefque of this Hockley-in- 
 the-Hole Poefy, where the Olympic Games are celebrated 
 in a novel flyle, 
 
 " This faid — the Heroes for the Fight prepare, 
 " Brace their big limbs, and brawny bodies bare. 
 " The fturdy finews all aghaft behold, 
 u And ample moulders of At lean mould ; 
 
 « Like
 
 xxiv THE LIFE OF 
 
 " Like T/iV?;/ s offspring, who 'gainft Heaven ftrove, 
 <c So each, though mortal, feem'd a match for Jove. 
 
 The defcription of the Fight is truly poetical. 
 
 " Full in the centre now they fix in form, 
 
 " Eye meeting eye, and arm oppos'd to arm ; 
 
 " With wily feints each other now provoke, 
 
 cc And cautious meditate th' impending ftroke. 
 
 11 Th 1 impatient Youth, infpir'd by hopes of fame, 
 
 11 Firft fped his arm, unfaithful to its aim ; 
 
 " The wary Warrior, watchfull of his foe, 
 
 11 Bends back, and 'fcapes the death-deiigning blow ; 
 
 c c With erring glance it founded by his ear, 
 
 " And, whizzing, fpent its idle force in air. 
 
 There is no objection to be made to this Poem, but a 
 careleffnefs in the metre, which muft be attributed to an 
 attention of prcferving the fenfe, and not to Mr. White- 
 head's want of an harmonious ear ;-— and yet no IriJJj 
 
 Bard
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &c. xxv 
 
 Bard would have claffied thefc words together fof 
 rhimes, Eajl, vcft ; — impel, quill \ — wait, bleat \— flood, 
 row a 1 , 6cc. But in this particular we may fay of 
 Mr. Whitehead, as Dryden did of Oldham,* 
 
 tc But Satire needs not thofe, and Wit will mine 
 " Through the harm cadence of a rugged line ; 
 
 O CO 7 
 
 . " A noble error, and but feldom made, 
 <£ When Poets are by too much force betray'd. 
 
 After this period Mr. Whitehead little concerned him- 
 felf with the fame of Writing ; nor have we any material 
 composition of his extant, after his Epiftle to Doctor 
 Thompson. He amufed hiinfeli with a few light Songs, 
 and Epigrams ; and, if he finifhed any other work of 
 more voluminous and material confequence, it went in 
 the general conflagration three days before his death, 
 
 e which 
 
 * An elegant Edition of this Author is lately publilhed by Captain 
 Thompson.
 
 xxvi THE LIFE OF 
 
 which he palled entirely in burning his papers. The 
 Epitaph which he wrote to the memory of John, Duke 
 oFArcyle, though at the requeft of his Duehefs, gave 
 her great offence, becaufe Mr. Whitehead' placed his 
 name at the bottom of it, as follows. 
 
 Br/ton, behold, if Patriot Worth be dear, 
 A fhrine that claims thy tributary tear ! 
 Silent that tongue admiring Senates heard, 
 Nervelefs that arm oppoiing Legions fear'd ! 
 Nor lefs, O Campbell ! thine the pow'r to pleafe, 
 And give to Grandeur all the grace of Eafe. 
 Long, from thy life, let kindred Heroes trace 
 Arts which ennoble frill the nobleft race. 
 Others may owe their future fame to Me j* 
 I borrow immortality from Thee. 
 
 P. Whitehead. 
 
 The 
 
 ^pofed to be written by Hi/lory.
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, »c'. mi 
 The infertion of his name at the bottom of the Epitaph 
 caufed a command to erafe it : the indignity immediately 
 produced this juir. and poignant Epigram, which was 
 never before publifhed. 
 
 O'er the Tombs as pale Envy was hov'ring around, 
 
 The manes of each hallow'd Hero to wound ; 
 
 On Argyll's when me faw only Truth was related 
 
 Of him, whom alive (lie moil mortally hated. 
 
 And finding the record adopted by Fame^ 
 
 In revenge to the Poet — me gnaw d out his name. 
 
 When any perfon could treat Mr. Whitehead with fuch 
 unbecoming arrogance, the pen of the Poet naturally 
 became his defence and their fliame. 
 
 So great an hiatus in Mr. Whitehead's compositions is 
 accounted for by the burning of his Manufcripts ; and, 
 could he have called in and collected the poems already 
 printed, they would have certainly undergone the fame 
 
 e 2 con-
 
 xxviii THE LIFE OF 
 
 condemnation. He feems, in this particular, to have 
 had the fame idea with Mr. Churchill. 
 
 " Let none of thofe, whom, blefs'd with parts above 
 
 " My feeble genius, 
 
 " Pofthumous nonfenfe to the world expofe,. 
 
 <{ And call it mine, 
 
 ;< Know all the world, no greedy Heir fhall find"., 
 " Die when I will, one couplet left behind. 
 
 Churchill. 
 
 But, though Churchill and Whitehead have both vio- 
 lently thrown out this idea, yet it has proved not fixictly 
 true ; for I have by me many manufcript compofitions 
 written by both thefe Gentlemen ; and, which makes their 
 originality incontrovertible, they are written with their own 
 hands. However, I am happy they had not an opportunity 
 of fulfilling their refolution; but, injuftice to the memory 
 of both, I mail not expofe a line, that will fully that 
 
 repu-
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &c. xxix 
 reputation their pens procured them while they lived. 
 From the Writings of Churchill one would conclude, 
 that he had a very particular enmity to P. Whitehead ; 
 but, to do him juftice, he had enmity to no man : very 
 few breafts ever boafted more philanthropy, charity, and 
 honour. In the courfe of his Satires on the living 
 Authors, he has thrown out fome phlegm againft our 
 Bard, and upon thefe priaciples ; that no man ever 
 exclaimed fo hio-hlv ag-ainfl Courts and Courtiers, and 
 Mr. Whitehead accepted of a lucrative place, when 
 his generous Patron came into power. 
 
 " When I look backward for fome fifty years, 
 " And fee protefring Patriots turn'd to Peers j* 
 
 " See men transform'd 
 
 " See Whitehead take a Place, Ralph+ change his pen; 
 
 <c I 
 
 * Sir Francis Dash wood, afterwards Lord Ls Dsspknci 
 
 •f* Once a violent Writer againft. the Court, conjointly with Mr. 
 James Lacey ; but was taken up by the Earl of '. b, ana became 
 
 a par-
 
 xxx T HE LIFE OF 
 
 u I mock the zeal, and deem the men in fport, 
 " Who rail at Miniirers, and curfe a Court. 
 
 Churchill's Conference. 
 
 This part of Mr. Whitehead's conduct might be repre- 
 heniible, particularly in the eyes of Churchill, who 
 was fo very violent in his Politics, that all men who 
 thought differently from him were fure of feeling his 
 flail of Satire. But the favor, which Mr. Whitehead 
 received from his noble and generous patron, Lord le 
 Despencer, was no proof of his alteration of opinion 
 in regard to Courts and Courtiers : his Lordfhip crave 
 him the income to make him comfortable in the vale 
 of life, and to prove a teftimony of his efteem and 
 friendfhip \ and as Mr. Whitehead made no bale, no 
 
 pro- 
 
 a partiian of the Prince of Wales 's Court. Mr. James Lacey fuc- 
 ceeded Fleetwood as Manager of Drury-Lane Theatre ; a man of 
 found judgement, integrity, and firmnefs of mind ; with a head to 
 contrive, and a hand to effect great atchievements.
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &>c. xxxi 
 proftituted ufe of fuch an increafe of his fortune, he was 
 not at all cenfurable. We never heard, after his accept- 
 ance of this annuity, of adulatory Odes, or a drop of 
 ink from his pen, that either betrayed his heart, or fullied 
 the purity of his character ; and therefore the feverc 
 parentheiis, which Churchill introduces in this couplet, 
 is very undeferving and ungenerous. 
 
 cc May I (can worfe clif grace on Manhood fall ? ) 
 " Be born a Whitehead, and baptiz'd a Paul" 
 
 Where could be the difgrace in being born a White- 
 head ? efpecially a Whitehead that moved through 
 life, reputed for fenfe, friendmip, virtue, and honefty. 
 But it was a Pamaffian fquib, that juft flafhed acrofs his 
 brain ; and the rhimes of fall and Paul chinked together, 
 and made a laugh among his friends, againft thofe 
 admired and efteemed by the then Sir Francis Dashwood. 
 In fTiort, it was one of Church iLLsjeux (V cfprit^ in which 
 
 he
 
 xxxii THE LIFE OF 
 
 he meant to be neither illiberal nor ill-natured. It is 
 amazing how parties in Politics change the opinions and 
 difpofitions of men. In the more early hour of Mr. 
 Wilkes's life, when he refided in Aylejbury^ and was 
 Colonel of the Buckingham/hire Militia, he was the con- 
 ftant and facetious friend of the Lord Sandwich and 
 Sir F. Dashwood ; nay, a member of the Mednam Club, 
 where he was honoured with a Mitre, and the title of 
 Joh?i of Ayhjbury : but the impeachment by the Earl of 
 Sandwich for the EJfay on Worncm (which was not his 
 composition) threw this Society into confufion, and the 
 orgies were revealed by this falfe Monk, in a Book 
 printed by him when a prifoner in the King s-Bench y 
 wherein he takes an opportunity to explain thefe lines 
 of Churchill's. 
 
 " Whilft Womanhood, in habit of a Nun, 
 
 " At Mednam lies, by backward Monks undone ; 
 
 (C 
 
 A
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &c. xxxiii 
 
 " A Nation's reck'ning, like an Ale-houfe fcorc, 
 
 " Whilft Paul the aged chalks behind a doer \ 
 
 iC Compell'd to hire a foe to cart it up ; 
 
 " Dash wood fhall pour, from a Comrnunion-cup, 
 
 " Libations to the Goddefs without eyes,* 
 
 " And hob-or-nob in Cyder and Excife. 
 
 The Candidate. 
 
 u Mednam Abbey is a very large houfe on the banks 
 
 " of the Thames, near Marlow in BuckinghaviJJjire. It 
 
 " was formerly a Convent of Cifiertian Monks. The 
 
 " fituation is remarkably fine. Beautiful hanging woods, 
 
 " foft meadows, a cryftal ftream, and a grove of vene- 
 
 " rable old elms near the houfe, with the retirednefs 
 
 <c of the manfion itfelf, made it as fwcet a retreat, 
 
 " as the moft poetical imagination could create. Sir 
 
 " Francis Dashwood, Sir Thomas Stapleton, Paul 
 
 " Whitehead, Mr. Wilkes, and other Gentlemen, to the 
 
 f cc number 
 
 * Bona Dca.
 
 xxxiv THE LIFE OF 
 
 ' number of twelve, rented the Abbey, and often retired 
 ' there in the fummer. Among other amufements, they 
 4C had femetimes a mock celebration of the more ridiculous 
 ' riles of the foreign Religious Orders of the Church of 
 1 Ro?;ie ; of the Franc if ca?is in particular, for the Gen- 
 ' tlemcn had taken that title from their founder, Sir 
 1 Francis Dashwood. Paul the aged was Secretary and 
 £ Steward to the Order. Mr. Wilkes had not been at 
 c the Abbey for many months before the publication of 
 c this poem, in 1764. — No profane eye has dared to 
 c penetrate into the Englif Eleufinian myfteries of the 
 1 chapter-room, where the Monks affembled on all 
 1 folemn occafions, the more fecret rites were performed, 
 c and libations poured forth in much pomp to the Bona 
 ' Dea. I fhall only venture to relate what many 
 ( mortal eyes have feen, and fit m'thi fas audita loqui. 
 
 " Over the grand entrance was the famous infeription 
 11 on Rabelais'* Abbey of Thcleme, Fay ce que vouldras ; 
 
 and
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, feV. xxxv 
 " and at the end of the paffage, over the door, Aude^ 
 " hofpesy contemner e opes. ' At one end of the Refectory 
 " was Harpocrates, the Egyptian God of Silence ; at 
 " the other, the Goddefs Angerona, which feemed to 
 c< imply, that the fame duty was enjoined both fexes. 
 u The garden, the grove, the orchard, the neighbouring 
 " woods, all befpoke the loves and frailties of the 
 cc younger Monks, who feemed, at leaft, to have finned 
 " naturally. You faw in one place, Ici pdma de jo'ie 
 " des mortels le plus heureux — -in another, very imper- 
 " feclly, mourut un amant fur le fern de fa dame — in a 
 " third, en cet endroit mi lie baifers de flamnie furent 
 <c donnesy et mille autres re7idus. Againft a fine old 
 " oak was 
 
 Hie S city rum Naias viSlorem viEla fubegit. 
 
 " At the entrance of a cave was Ve?ius^ ftooping to pull 
 " a thorn out of her foot. The ftatue turned from you, 
 
 f 2 " and
 
 xxxvi THE LIFE OF 
 
 " andjuft over the two nether hills of fnow were thefe 
 
 " lines of Virgil : 
 
 11 Hie locus eft, partes ubi fe via findit in ambas : 
 1 c Hac iter Elyzium nobis ; at Iceva malorum 
 c ' Exercet pcenas, et ad impia T'artara mittit, 
 
 " On the infide, over a moffy couch, was the following 
 " exhortation : 
 
 " Ite y a<rite, 6 juvenes ; par iter fudate medullis 
 " Omnibus inter vos ; non mur7nura veftra columbte, 
 " Brachia no?i hederce, no?i vi?icant ofcula conchce, 
 
 c< The fav r ourite doctrine of the Abbey is certainly 
 
 u not penitence ; for in the centre of the orchard was a 
 
 " very grotefque figure, and in his hand a reed flood 
 
 "flamingo tipt with fire, to ufe Milton's words ; and 
 
 iC you might trace out 
 
 PENI TENTO, 
 non 
 PENITENTI. " On
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &c. xxxvii 
 
 " On the pedeftal was a whimfical rcprcfentation of 
 " < Tropho?iius'% cave, whence all creatures were faid to 
 " come out melancholy. Among that firange, difmal 
 " group, you might, however, mark a Cock crowing, 
 " and a Carmelite laughing. The words gallum galli- 
 " naceum^ et facer dot em gratis , were only legible.* 
 
 " Near the Abbey was a fmall, neat temple, erected 
 cc to Cloacina, with the following infcription, — This 
 " Chapel of Eafe was founded in the year 1760. — Facing 
 " the entrance on the fide, 
 
 ii JEque pauperibus prodefl, locupletibus toque, 
 " JEque negle&um pueris fetiibusque nocebit.-f 
 
 Some 
 
 * Omne animal poft coi'tum trifle eft, prater gallum gallinaceum, 
 et facerdotem gratis fornicantem. 
 
 ■f* There is a letter following this account, in a more falacious 
 ftyle, faid to have been fjrfr. printed in the St. James's Chronicle ; 
 but, as it did not concern Mr. Whitehead, and was rather the pro- 
 duction of fpleen againfl a noble Peer, I have therefore omitted it.
 
 xxxviii THE LIFE OF 
 
 Some may obferve that, in this Life of Mr. Whitehead, 
 I might have drawn a veil over the faces of the Monks, as 
 well as the Nuns, of Meclnam \ but, while the mention 
 of the Abbey and the myfteries of the Inftitution ftand 
 forth fo ofteniibly under the hands of Wilkes and 
 Churchill, others might think, and with equal propriety 
 conclude, there was more meant than even met the car. 
 Now all that can be drawn from the publication of thefe 
 ceremonies is, that a fet of worthy, jolly fellows, happy 
 difciples of Venus and Bacchus ', got occasionally together, 
 to celebrate Woman in wine ; and, to give more zeft 
 to the feftive meeting, they plucked every luxurious 
 idea from the ancients, and enriched their own modern 
 pleafures with the addition of claffic luxury. To this 
 (eminary of the Bons-vivans Mr. Whitehead was Secre- 
 tary, who might humoroufly greet the Brotherhood, 
 u Paul to the Mean ami I cs" I have feen a Poetic 
 Epiille to that purpofe ; and, when expostulating with 
 
 the
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &fV. xx- - 
 
 the Arch-fiend to rather fpare him, and take feme of 
 the other Twelve, he humoroufiy and wittily lays, 
 
 " Why on me then, alone, fliould your vengeance 
 
 " thus fall? 
 cc Why not Thomas, or Francis, as well as St. Paul? 
 " On Aylefbury John why your anger not place, 
 " Who, all mull allow, is fo brim-full of grace ?" 
 
 However, this was a time when they were all in good- 
 humour with each other, and the Monks of the Convent 
 were fleek and fat. Parties in Politics running fo high 
 at the time of the publication of the North Briton, made 
 every individual, like drowning men, catch at feeble 
 ftraws to uphold themfelves, though ever fo fatal to thofe 
 who were fwimming in the fame tempeftuous ocean ; fo 
 Churchill, after defcribing the real majefty of a Bard, 
 draws moft unfairly the following picture for our inge- 
 nious and ingenuous Author, which I will give, becaufc 
 
 truth
 
 xl THE LIFE OF 
 
 truth and honefty can boldly controvert and overwhelm it. 
 Speaking in the perfon of one who is fuppafed to patro- 
 nife Mr. Whitehead, 
 
 " I've kept a Bard myfelf this twenty years, 
 
 " But nothing of this kind in him appears. 
 
 u He, like a thorough true-bred Spaniel, licks 
 
 <c The hand which cuffs him, and the foot which kicks; 
 
 " He fetches, and he carries, blacks my fhoes, 
 
 IC Nor thinks it a difcredit to his Mufe. 
 
 " A creature of the right Cameleon hue, 
 
 <£ He wears my colours, Yellow or True-blue, 
 
 " J u ft as I wear them ; 'tis all one to him, 
 
 " Whether I change through confcience, or through 
 
 <c 
 
 W 
 
 him. 
 
 11 Now this is fomething like ; en fuch a plan 
 
 c< A Bard may find a friend in a Great Man : 
 
 cc But this proud Coxcomb— Zounds! I thought that all 
 
 u Of this queer tribe had been like my old Paul. 
 
 Churchill's Indepe?ide?2ce.
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, & c . xli 
 
 To be fure, Mr. Churchill hath, in this picture, 
 reduced the majefly of a Bard below all nature ; and, as 
 the great forte of a Poet lies in fiction, I do candidly 
 pronounce this the moft poetical, characteriftical fiction 
 he ever gave to the world ; for, as honour, honefty, 
 manly fenfe, and obftinate virtue, moft ftrongiy marked 
 the lines of Mr. Whitehead's character, it is therefore 
 in no refpecr. confident, that the above delineation can 
 be any likenefs of the original. Enough of Churchill. 
 
 In the year 1751, when his Royal Highncfs Frederick, 
 Prince of Wales^ died, whofe cafe was fuppofed to be 
 miftaken by the Phyficians who attended him, our 
 Author was then made eafy in his circumftances by 
 the friendfhip and munificence of his Patron : and 
 from his villa on Twickenham-Heath he iflucd his 
 Epistle to Doctor Thompson, who was his bofom friend 
 and companion, and one whom Nature had endowed 
 with fingular virtues, and virtuous Angularities. To a 
 
 g 
 
 moft
 
 xlii THE LIFE OF 
 
 moil excellent mind was joined a good heart ; and 
 perhaps it might be the congeniality of their fouls, that 
 mutually wove the web of their friendship. The death 
 of the Prince drew all eyes upon his Phyficians ; and 
 Thompson having objected to their method of treating 
 his Hio-hnefs, this produced a physical refentment againft 
 him, he was never able to ftem : and, to be fure, a man 
 may be as well hunted by the hounds of the Inquifltion,, 
 as by a tribe fo deadly. 
 
 <c While You, my Thompson, fpite of Med' cine, fave* 
 
 " Mark how the College peoples ev'ry grave ! 
 
 cc See Mead transfer eftates from Sire to Son, 
 
 <( And * * bar fucceflion to a Throne ! + 
 
 11 See Shaw fcarce leave the paiTing-bell a Fee, 
 
 " And N * fet the captive hufband free ! 
 
 " Though 
 
 -f Nothing (hews the lenity and humanity of Mr. Whitehead, 
 equal to the omimon of this Phyfician's name ; and, as the point was 
 To delicate with him, I do not feel a right to fupply the hiatus*
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, 8fc. 
 " Though widow'd Julia giggles in her weed, 
 " Yet who arraigns the Doctor for the deed ? 
 " O'er life and death all abfolute his will, 
 " Right the Prefcription, whether cure or kill. 
 
 Athough Mr. Whitehead met with many friends, and 
 additions to his fortune, yet he was never in a ftate of 
 indigence, or cramped by fudden reverfes of fortune ; 
 for, in the year 1735, be had the fum of ^10,000 by 
 his wife, Mifs Anna Dyer, a moft amiable Lady, and the 
 only daughter of Sir Swinnerton Dyer, Bart, of Spains- 
 Hall, in EJfex : and therefore, as if the world were 
 fufpicious of his penury, he afks Dr. Thompson, 
 
 " E'er wants my table the health-chearing meal, 
 " With Banjiead Mutton crown'd, or EJfex Veal ? 
 <c Smokes not from Lincoln meads the ftately Loin, 
 " Or rofy Gammon of Hantonian Swine? 
 
 cc From 
 g 2
 
 xliv THE LIFE OF 
 
 " From Darkins roods the Feather'd victims bleed, 
 " And Thames ftill wafts me Ocean's fcaly breed. 
 " Though Gallia* Vines their coftly juice deny, 
 " Still Tajvs* banks the jocund glafs fupply ; 
 " Still diftant worlds neclareous treafures roll, 
 t% And either India fparkles in my bowl. 
 " Rich in thefe gifts, why mould I wiin for more ? 
 " Why barter confeience for fuperfluous ftore ? 
 
 There is, throughout this little poem, fuch a picture 
 of the content and independence of the Author's 
 mind, that we may truly conclude the evening of his 
 days was eafy and tranquil, without the ruffle of a 
 Boreal blaft. To this hermitage of his Mufe his very 
 particular Friends reforted, where he always entertained 
 them with a peculiar, jocofe vein of humour ; and 
 
 mowed 
 
 • The river Tagus, famous for its character among the ancients ; 
 
 the principal river of Portugal, and known for its rapidity and golden 
 
 fands. 
 
 Qua Tagus aurifcr is pallet I ur bat us arenis, Sil. xvi. 55Q.
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &c. xlv 
 
 fiiowed fuch a conviviality of foul, that all were gay 
 and feftive with him. He was a moft facetious com- 
 panion, and truly merited thofe golden epithets, inge- 
 nious and ingenuous. For many years he was a favorite 
 member of the original, clailic, Beef-fteak Club, famous 
 for its heterogeneity of character ; confirming of all fuch, 
 in whatever rank of life, as were celebrated for wit and 
 pleafantry, whether Patricians or Plebeians, Peers, Poets, 
 Players, &c. As few were admitted into this Society, 
 but who were agreeable to the reft of the Club, it was by 
 fuch caution eftablifhed on the happieft convivial footing ; 
 and, by fuch meetings, friendfhips were formed that 
 did honour to the parties. Mr. Beard, Mr. Rich, Mr. 
 Ebenezer Forest, and Mr. Havard, were the choice 
 companions and friends of our Author, to whom I am 
 feverally obliged for many favors towards the compilation 
 and completion of this work. With fuch friends, and an 
 
 ea
 
 xlvi THE LIFE OF 
 
 eafy competence, Mr. Whitehead enjoyed life to the 
 
 full maturity of the rich fere leaf. 
 
 " My eafc and freedom if for aught I vend, 
 
 " Would you not cry, To Bedlam, Bedlam, Friend! 
 
 " But to fpeak out — mall what could ne'er engage 
 
 " My frailer youth, now captivate in age ? 
 
 " What cares can vex, what terrors frightful be, 
 
 <c To him whofe fhield is hoary Sixty-three ? 
 
 M Although grown grey w T ithin my humbler gate, 
 
 " I ne'er kifs'd Hands, or trod the rooms of State j 
 
 M Yet not unhonour'd have I liv'd, and bleft 
 
 " With rich convenience, carelefs of the reft: 
 
 " What boon more grateful can the Gods beftow 
 
 " On thofe avow'd their fav'rite fons below ? 
 
 And though, from the company Mr. Whitehead kept, 
 the world was willing to make him a Tory ; yet this 
 
 couplet
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, & c . xlvii 
 
 couplet weighs more with me than all his iocs can utter, 
 and ftamps him an honeft Man, and a noble Republican. 
 
 11 No friend tofa&io7i, and no dupe to zeal, 
 " Foe to all party, but the Public Weal. 
 
 And certainly thefe were the rules and inclinations of 
 his life j for he never troubled his mind about the parties 
 of State, but ftole to his retreat from the throng, 
 enchanted with the Mule and her lay. 
 
 u Safe, in the harbour of my TwicK nham bower, 
 
 " From all the wrecks of State, or ftorms of Power \ 
 
 u No Wreaths I court, no Subfidies I claim, 
 
 11 Too rich for want, too indolent for fame. 
 
 <c Health, rofy handmaid, at my table waits, 
 
 u And halcyon Peace broods watchful o'er my gates. 
 
 With all thefe bleffings, as real as poetical, he ever 
 diftinguifhes his Thompson from his other friends; and 
 
 feems
 
 xlviii THE LIFE OF 
 
 feems to indicate a vacuum in his blifs, if without him, 
 though poffeffed of every other thing that Health, 
 Fortune, and the Mufe, could give. 
 
 " Thompson, what place enjoys thee, or what friend? 
 " Say, if in Eaftburys* majeftic towers, 
 11 Or wrapt in Ajhleys* amarantine bowers ; 
 11 O'er Peliiam's Politics in judgment fit, 
 " Reform the laws of Nations, or of Wit ? 
 
 There was a fimilitude of manners, and a cognation 
 
 of ientiment, between thefe Gentlemen, that made each 
 
 other's converfe pleafing ; and, though Mr. Whitehead 
 
 was neither fo eccentric or flovenly as the Doctor, yet 
 
 there was a mental participation that proved their fouls 
 
 to be congenial. Doctor Thompson was, without doubt, 
 
 the moft whimfical character, as a Scholar, a Wit, and 
 
 a Gentleman, that I have met with ; and, to tell you 
 
 in finall what he might be in great, he never had his 
 
 fhoes 
 * The Seats of the L ords Mricomb and Middle/ex.
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, ferV. xlix 
 
 fhoes cleaned, but bought them at the Torkjloire Ware- 
 houfe, wore them till his toes were through the upper 
 leather, and then fhook them off at the lame place, and 
 put on a new pair ; and thus did he with all his other 
 habiliments. But take Mr. Whitehead's character of his 
 Friend, from his own hand-writing. 
 
 A Recipe for Doffior Thompson. 
 
 ET not the foil of a preceding day be ever feen on 
 your Linen ; fince your enemies will be apt to 
 impute it rather to an unhappy fcarcity of Shirts, than 
 any philofophical negligence in the wearer of them. 
 
 Let not father Time's dilapidations be difcoverable in 
 the ragged ruins of your garments ; and be particularly 
 careful that no more holes appear in your Stockings than 
 the weaver intended ; that your Shoes preferve the fym- 
 metry of two heels ; and that your Galligafkins betray 
 
 h no
 
 1 THE LIFE OF 
 
 no Poetical Infignia ; for it will be generally concluded, 
 he has very little to do with the repair of others Con- 
 ftitutions, who is unable to preferve that of his own 
 Apparel. 
 
 Let your Wig always fwell to the true College dimen- 
 fions ; and, as frequently as poffible, let the Apothecary 
 Bob give way to the Graduate Tye ; for, what notable 
 recommendation the Head often receives from the co- 
 pioufnefs of its furniture, the venerable Full-bottoms of 
 the Bench may determine. 
 
 Thus dreffed, let your Chariot be always ready to 
 receive you ; nor be ever feen trudging the ftreets with 
 an Herculean Oak, and bemired to the knees ; fince an 
 equipage fo inimitable to a fick Lady's chamber will be 
 apt to induce a belief, that you have no fummons 
 thither. 
 
 Forbear to haunt Cooks Shops, Hedge-Alehoufes, 
 Cyder-Cellars, &c. and to difplay your oratory in thofe 
 
 inferior
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &>c. If 
 
 inferior regions ; for, however this may agree with your 
 Philofophical character, it will by no means enhance your 
 Phyilcal one. 
 
 Never flay telling a long ftory in a Coffec-houfe, when 
 you may be writing a fhort recipe in a Patient's chamber ; 
 and prudently confider, that the firit will coft you Six- 
 pence, while the laft will gain you a Guinea. 
 
 Never go out in the morning without leaving word 
 where you may be met with at noon ; never depart at 
 noon without letting it be known where you may be 
 found at night ; for the lick are apt to be peevifh and 
 impatient ; and remember, that fuffering a Patient to 
 want you, is the ready way for you to want a Patient. 
 
 Be mindful of all meilages, punctual to all appoint- 
 ments, and let but your industry equal your abilities ; 
 then fhall your Phyfical Perfecutors become abafhed, and 
 the Legions of Warwick-Lane and B/ack-Frjuirs fhall not 
 
 be able to prevail againft you. 
 
 h 2 Laftly,
 
 lii THE LIFE OF 
 
 Laftly, read thefe Rules every morning over your tea, 
 and I fancy you will find yourfelf mend upon it.* 
 
 P. W. 
 
 \i thefe whimfies marked the petite part of Dr. Thomf- 
 
 so/sf character, the nobler parts infinitely overbalanced 
 
 fuch peccadillos. 
 
 « Yet, 
 
 * Dr. Thompson was a peculiar floven, and, in the practice of 4 
 Phyfician, an utter and declared enemy to Muffins, which he always 
 forbad his patients. Being one day upon a vint to Lord Mel combe, 
 at Hammerftnith, with Mr. Garrick, Mr. P. Whitehead, &c. 
 the Company was a/Tern bled at breakfafl long before the Doclor 
 appeared : jufl as he entered the room, in an uncouth habit, Lord 
 Melcombe uncovered a plate of Muffins, which Thompson fixing 
 his eyes upon, with fome indignation laid, " My Lord, did I not beleech 
 " your Lordfhip before, never to fuffcr a Muffin in your houie ?" To 
 which his Lordfhip archly replied, " Doclor, I've an utter averfion 
 " to Muffins and Raggamuffins." The pleafantry of the turn, at the 
 Doctor's expence, let the table in a roar. 
 
 •f- He wrote an excellent Treatife on the Method of treating the 
 Small-pox.
 
 PAUL WHITEHEA D, ®V. liii 
 
 " Yet, Thompson ! fay (whole gift it is to fare, 
 " Make Sicknefs fmile, and rcfcue from the grave) 
 " Though Envy all her hiiTing ferpents raife, 
 Ci And join with harpy Fraud, to blair. thy bays ; 
 " Shall wan Difeafe in vain demand thy {kill, 
 u While Heaith but waits the fummons of thy quill ? 
 " Rename the pen ! and be, thyfelf, once more, 
 " What Ratcliff, Friend, and Syd'nham were before. 
 11 Come then, my Friend, if Friendfhip's name can woo, 
 u Come, bring me all I want, — that all in YOU. 
 
 So particular a Man would have afforded many pleafmt 
 anecdotes ; but whatever Mr. Whitehead thought fur- 
 ther of his Friend we do not know, nor have we an Epi- 
 taph extant to perpetuate the memory of fo excellent a 
 
 Gentleman. He died about the year i 760, in his 60th 
 year ; beloved living, honoured for his integrity, and 
 
 lamented by all who knew him. From this period to the 
 difeafe of Mr. Whitehead few things invaded, or inter- 
 rupted,
 
 liy THE LIFE O F 
 
 nipted, his quiet ; nor do we know of any part he too!;, 
 farther than dating the conduct of the four Managers 
 of Cogent-Garden Theatre, freely, impartially, and 
 / may add humoroujly, in a pamphlet fo titled : but, as 
 the fubjed was but the ephemeron of the day, it is not 
 worth adding; to his works. When it is confidered, that 
 he fpent three days in deftroying his papers, I have 
 gleaned many from the fatal conflagration, though I had 
 been happy to have given more, as there is no doubt of 
 their equal merit. The long ficknefs, under which 
 Mr. Whitehead lingered, prepared him gradually for 
 his diilblution ; but I had been much better pleafed with 
 his bequeathing his works, forted by himfelf, to his 
 Patron, rather than the mortuary gift of a mortal heart : 
 the one had proved immortal, the other is but a periihable 
 prefent. Though afflicled with a diforder that no 
 medicine would reach, yet he bore the excruciating pains 
 of a tedious difeafe with a manly refignation, and thus 
 drew up his will, on the 20th of Oclober, 1774.
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &c. h 
 
 "I do hereby charge and direct my Executors,* 
 " herein after named, to caufe my body to be opened, 
 " that the Faculty may, if poflible, difcover, after I am 
 " dead, what they feemed totally ignorant of while I 
 cc was living, the caufe of my death : and I do further 
 " order, that my heart be taken out, and difpofed of 
 cc as under mentioned. I give to the Right Hon. Lord Le 
 " Despencer my heart aforefaid, together v/ithjC $o. to be 
 " laid out in the purchafe of a marble urn, in which I 
 " defire it may be deposited, and placed, if his Lordfhip 
 " pleafes, in fome corner of his Maufoleum, as a memorial 
 " of its warm attachment to the noble Founder." 
 
 This gift of Mr. Whitehead's heart drew many 
 invidious fquibs, which were as illiberal as low. About 
 
 two 
 
 * This will was proved at London, the 4th of June, 1775, before 
 the Worfhipful Francis Simpson, Doctor of Laws, ecc. Surrogate, 
 by the oath of Sarah Hutchings, Widow, the'Sifter of the deceafed, 
 to whom adminiltration was granted.
 
 hi THE LIFE OF 
 
 two months after he had fettled all his wordly affairs, 
 he laid down a life that had been honourably paffed in 
 the variegated courfe of fixty-four years, on the 30th of 
 December, 1774; and, on the 13th of Auguft fucceeding, 
 Lord Le Despencer fulfilled the laft requeft of his Friend, 
 by depofiting, in a maufoleum erected for that purpofe, 
 in his garden at High-Wycowib, in Buckinghamjloire y the 
 Heart of an ho?ieft Man. The order of the ceremony 
 and proceffion was as follows. 
 
 At half part eleven, a Company of the Buckingham- 
 (hire Militia with their Officers (Lord Le Destencer at 
 their head) in regimentals, with crapes round their arms, 
 feven vocal performers habited as a choir, in furplices, 
 attended, with fifes, flutes, horns, and a drum covered 
 with crape. The proceffion began with the Soldiers, &c. 
 who marched round a fpot chofen for that purpofe, 
 three feveral times, the Choir fmging felecl pieces of 
 
 rnufic,
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, &>c. lvii 
 
 mufic conducted by Mr. Atterbury and Mr. Mulso, 
 fuitable to the occafion, accompanied with the oth 
 inftruments. This fmifhed, fix Grenadiers went into the 
 grand hall, and brought the very elegant urn of curious 
 and variegated marble, which contained the Heart. The 
 Epitaph upon the urn was as follows : 
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, ESQ^, 
 
 OF TWICKENHAM, 
 
 OBIIT DEC. 3O, I774. 
 
 UNHALLOWED HANDS, THIS URN FORBEAR ! 
 
 NO GEMS OR ORIENT SPOIL 
 
 LIE HERE CONCEALED BUT, WHAt's MORE RARE, 
 
 A HEART THAT KNEW* NO GUILE ! 
 
 i On 
 
 * All the copies have given this Epitaph different. The lull line 
 thus, " a heart that knows no guile j" alluding to the dead heart within 
 the urn : — for few may conclude that Mr. Whitehead would give 
 fuch a panegyric on his own heart, as to fay himfelf it knew no guile. 
 However, though it is thus written in his own hand, yet it may have 
 been the compofition of a Friend, who might with much truth make 
 this declaration of the perfon who animated it ; and, if he laid it of 
 himfelf, he felt the truth of it forcibly ; though all the Claffic 
 Authors have heretofore agreed — " that all a man fays of himfelf, be 
 " it eve^fo little, is all that little too much."
 
 lviii THE LIFE OF 
 
 On one fidte of the urn was a medallion of white 
 marble, of elegant workmanfhip, with the following 
 curious device : three feveral figures, highly finifhed, 
 appeared in the medallion. I could not learn the hiftory 
 of the firft of them : the fecond was the image of 
 zEsculaiuus, the God of Phyfic, attending the Deceafed 
 in his laft illnefs, but in vain. 
 
 The urn was carried on a bier fupported by fix 
 Grenadiers, who were attended by fix more as a corps 
 de referve. The reft of the Soldiers and Muficians 
 were preceded by Mr. Powel, Curate of Htgh-TVyco?nbe \ 
 and the urn was followed by Lord Le Despencer 
 alone, the Officers and Militia-men following, two by 
 two, which clofed the procefTion. 
 
 The funeral march thus regulated, the proceffion palTed 
 in the mod folemn manner through the gardens to the 
 hiii whereon the Maufolcum was erected \ the time was 
 
 up-
 
 PAUL WHITEHEA D, Bfc. lix 
 upwards of two hours. When the proceflion obtained 
 the Maufoleum, they marched three times round, to 
 indrumental mufic ; and, before the urn was depofited 
 in its niche, this incantation was fung, as fet and written 
 by Dr. Arne. 
 
 From Earth to Heaven Whitehead's foul is fled : 
 Refulgent glories beam around his head ! 
 His Mufe, concording with refounding firings, 
 Gives Angels words to praife the King of Kings. 
 
 The urn was then placed on a very elegant pededal of 
 white marble ; after which, minute guns were fired, and 
 a triple falute by the Soldiery. To give more dignity to 
 this folemn celebration, the Oratorio of Goiiah was per- 
 formed in Wejl-WycGmbc church, having been compofed 
 for the occafion. All perfons were admitted, who gave a 
 mite to the poor-box, and a great concourfe attended to 
 pay their lad refpecls to the guilelefs heart of honed 
 Paul Whitehead. 
 
 1 2 
 
 Mr.
 
 lx THE L I F E O F 
 
 Mr. Whitehead left no iffue by his wife, Anna Dyer, 
 (who died very young) nor any other relation than his 
 Sifter, Mrs. Sarah Hutchings, widow, and fole executrix 
 to his cftatc. 
 
 I know no character, which has been lefs underftood 
 than that of the late Mr. Whitehead ; for, though he 
 was univerfally known by the epithet honefi Paul, yet 
 many fevercly cenfured his conduct, which feemed to- 
 differ widely from his Writings. His Satires prove him to 
 have had an utter diflike to all Kings ; and yet, in 
 following the fortunes of his friends, he got the title of 
 a Tory, though a firm and ftrenuous Republican. The 
 crreat predominant byafs in the character of Mr. White- 
 head was to a firm and pure friend fliip ; and fuch virtuous 
 philanthropy did he boaft, that it was fufneient for 
 . any man to be only unfortunate, to obtain his attention 
 and affection. A breaft fo open to the diftrenes and 
 
 miferies
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, & e . Ixi 
 
 miferies of mankind, was ever liable to impofitions ; 
 and the firfr, pracrifed upon him by Fleetwood, was of 
 fo fevere a nature as to have almoft made any man a 
 mifanthrope ; but was fo far from fouring that milk of 
 Human Kindnefs fo peculiar to his bread, that no provo- 
 cations of his friends, during a long imprifonment, could 
 make him fay a crude, or difrefpectiul word, of a man 
 who had treated him in fo nefarious a manner. 
 
 Though this was a peculiarity in his character, and 
 though no provocations could ftimulate him to launch 
 out againft thofe who had done him any injury ; yet the 
 gall of his Mufe was as bitter as Juvenal's ; and of him 
 we may fay, as was faid of the Duke of Dorset, " He 
 " was the beft-tempered Man, with the worft-tempered 
 " Mufe." 
 
 But as all men have one line of characlcr more flrone 
 than another, Mr. Whitehead's was of the happieft 
 complexion : it was Friendihip, and of fo divine and 
 
 rare
 
 Ixii THE LIFE OF 
 
 rare a fort, that the celefdal element fo mixed in him to 
 give him a pre-eminence over half mankind : and indeed 
 it was with him fo contrary to the world, that the mis- 
 fortunes of his Friend doubled his ardour and attach- 
 ment. He feemed to think with Shakespeare, 
 
 <c The friends thou haft, and their adoptions try'd, 
 " Grapple them to thy foul with hoops of fteel." 
 
 There are many living, who can atteft this heavenly 
 fpark of his fame, and who enjoyed it to a degree of 
 happinefs. To them the very repetition of his excellence 
 will caufe the wounds of grief to break out again ; but 
 a tear dropped on a Friend's grave gives a divine fenfation, 
 that even few are capable of feeling and enjoying. 
 
 His integrity of heart, his fteadinefs of manners, his 
 philanthropy and honour, gained him fuch love and 
 refpeel among men, that few can be faid to have lived 
 more honourably, or died more regretted. Among the 
 
 many
 
 PAUL WHITEHEAD, ®V. Ixiii 
 
 many who admired his talents and difpoiition, was Mr. 
 Garrick^ who hath given fome written teftimonies of his 
 efteem. Of the many Elegiac Verfes offered to his 
 memory, the following are not the moft unworthy of our 
 notice : 
 
 Within this urn lies Whitehead's Heart— 
 Ah, ruthlcfs Death ! why didft thou part 
 Such a body — fuch a mind ? 
 Surely, Death, it was unkind ! 
 Could not fo much Virtue fave 
 Such a Poet from the grave ? 
 But, when no trace remains of heart or limb, 
 His Works mall be a monument to him. 

 
 THE 
 
 STATE DUNCES; 
 
 SATIRE. 
 
 Infcribed to Mr. POPE. Written in 1733. 
 
 / from my foul fi?icerely hate 
 
 Both K — and M rs of State, 
 
 Swift.
 
 i m iam m emsmase mimw » \M*miumM*m* * aB&mx* zmBamm w4 m »*it 
 
 THE 
 
 STATE DUNCES. 
 
 'W 7HILE cringing crouds at faithlefs Levees wait, 
 
 Fond to be Fools of Fame, or Slaves of State ; 
 And others, ftudious to increafe their ftore, 
 Plough the rough Ocean for Peruvian ore; 
 How bleft thy fate, whom calmer hours attend, 
 Peace thy companion, Fame thy faithful friend! 
 While in thy Twickenham bow'rs, devoid of care, 
 You feaft the fancy, and enchant the ear ; 
 Thames gently rolls her filver tide along, 
 And the charm'd Naiads liften to thy fong. 
 
 B 2 Here
 
 4 STATE DUNCES, 
 
 Here peaceful pafs the gentle hours away, 
 While tuneful Science meafures out the day ! 
 Here, happy Bard, as various fancies lead, 
 You paint the blooming Maid, or flow'ry Mead! 
 Sound the rough clangor of tumultuous War* 
 Or fiug the ravijlSd tendrils of the Fairlf 
 Now melting move the tender tear to flow, 
 And wake our fighs with Eloifas woe. J 
 But chief, to Dullnefs ever foe decreed, 
 The Apes of Science with thy fat ire bleed ;§ 
 Peers, Poets, Pa?idars, mingle in the throng, 
 Smart with thy touch, and tremble at thy fong.[| 
 
 Yet vain, O Pope! is all thy fharpeft rage, 
 Still ftarv'ling Dunces perfecute the age ; 
 Faithful to folly, or enrag'd with fpite, 
 Still tajlelcfs Timons build, and Tibbalds write; 
 
 * Homer. + Rape of the Lock. % Eloifa to Abelard. 
 
 § Dunciad. || Epiftles.
 
 A S A T I R E. 5 
 
 Still Welstead* tunes his Becr-infpired lays. 
 
 And Ralph, in metre, holds forth Stanhope's ppaiie: 
 
 Ah! haplefs victim to the Poet's flame, 
 
 While his eulogiums crucify thy fame* 
 
 Shall embrio Wits thy fludious hours eno-ace. 
 Live in thy labours, and prophane thy page; 
 While Virtue, ever-lov'd, demands thy lays, 
 And claims the tuneful tribute of thy praife?" 
 Can Pope be filent, and not grateful lend 
 One (train to ling the Patriot, and the Friend y 
 
 Who 
 
 * Still Welflead, .... And Ralph] Two authors, remarkable for 
 nothing fo much as the figure they make in the Dunciad, where Mr. Pope 
 has condefcended to drag them from obfeurity, and damn them with 
 immortality \ yet they have both ventured, out in print, fince they were 
 entered Dunces on record; the one in a few bad verfes againftMr. Pope's 
 tap, the other in a dull Epiftle to Lord Chefterfield : but both thefe 
 pieces are as entirely loft to fame and memory, as their authors are to 
 modefty and common fenfe, — This Ralph afterwards dtew up a code . ' 
 laws for the Earl of Bute— to inftruSi his prefent Majefly. lie was the 
 author of feveral political pamphlets ; and he wrote a paper, jointly with 
 Mr. James Lacy, of Drury-Lanc Theatre, called Common Scnfe.
 
 b S T A T E DUNCES, 
 
 Who, noblv anxious in liis Country's caufe, 
 Maintains her Honours, and defends her Laws ? 
 Could I, my Bard, but equal numbers raife, 
 Then would I fing — for, oh! I burft to praife— 
 Sing how a Pult'ney* charms the lift'ning throng, 
 While Senates hang enraptured on his tongue; 
 With Tully's fire how each oration glows, 
 In Tully's raufic how each period flows; 
 jnPcrucr. each babe to lift) the Patriot's name, 
 Who in each boiom breathes a Roman flame. 
 
 So, when the Genius of the Roman age 
 otemm'd the ftrong torrent of tyrannic rage, 
 In Freedom's caufe each glowing brcaft he warm'd, 
 And, like a Pult'ney, then a Brutus charm'cL 
 
 How bleft, while we a Britifo Brutus fee, 
 And all the Roman frauds confeft in Thee! 
 
 y worth, but equal were thy doom, 
 To fave Britannia, as he re feu' d Rome: 
 
 Afterwards Earl of Bath, and then forgot tin. 
 
 He
 
 A SATIRE. 
 He from a Tarquin fnatch'd the deftin'd prey ; 
 Britannia ftill laments a Walpole's fway. 
 
 Arife, my tuneful Bard, nor thus in vain 
 Let thy Britannia, whom thou lov'ft, complain 
 If Thou in moanful lays relate her woe, 
 Each heart fhall bleed, each eye with pity flow : 
 If to revenge you fwell the founding ftrain, 
 Revenge and fury fire each Briti/h Swain : 
 Obfequious to thy verfe each breaft fhall move,, 
 Or burn with rage, or foften into love. 
 
 O let Britannia be her Poet's care ! 
 And lafh the Spoiler, while you fave the Fair.. 
 Lo! where he ftands, amidft xhzfervile Crew, 
 Nor blufhes ftain his cheek with crimfon hue, 
 While dire corruption all around he fpreads, 
 And ev'ry duElile confciencc captive leads: 
 Brib'd by his boons, behold the venal band 
 Worfhip the Idol they could once command! 
 
 Sq
 
 t STATE DUNCES, 
 
 So Britain* now, as Judah\ Sons before, 
 Firft raife a golden calf, and then adore. 
 
 Let dull Parnajfian Sons of Rhime no more 
 Provoke thy fatire, and employ thy pow'r; 
 New objects rife to fhare an equal fate, 
 The big) rich % mighty >, Dunces of the State. 
 Shall Ralph, Cooke, Welstead, then engrofs thy rage, 
 While Courts afford a Hervey, York, or Gage ? 
 Dullncfs no more roofts only near the fky, 
 But Senates^ Drawing-rooms, with Garrets vye; 
 Plump Peers, and breadlefs Bards, alike are dull; 
 *S7. James's and Rag-fair club Fool for FooL 
 
 Amidft the mighty Dull, behold how great 
 An Appius fwells the Itbb'ald of the State! 
 Long had he ftrove to fpread his lawlefs fway 
 O'er Britain* Sons, and force them to obey; 
 But, b Lifted all his blooming hopes, he flies 
 To vent his woe, and mourn his loft Excife. 
 
 Penfive
 
 A S'ATrRl, g 
 
 Penflve he fat, and figh'd, while round him lav- 
 Loads of dull lumber, all infpir d by Pay: 
 Here, puny pamphlets, {pun from Prelates' brains ; 
 There, the fmooth jingle of Cook's lighter ftrains : 
 Here, Walsingham's foft lulling Opiates fpread \ 
 There, gloomy Osborn's Quinteffence of Lead: 
 With thefe the Statefma?i ftrove to eafe his care, 
 To footh his forrows, and divert defpair : 
 But long his grief Sleep's gentle aid denies ; 
 At length a flumb'rous Briton clos'd his eyes. 
 
 Yet vain the healing balm of downy reft, 
 To chafe his woe, or eafe his lab ring breaft : 
 Now frightful forms rife hideous to his view, 
 More, Strafford, Laud, and all the headlefs crew; 
 Daggers and halters boding Terror breeds, 
 And here a Dudley fwings, there Villiers bleeds. 
 
 Now Goddefs Dullnefs, watchful o'er his fate, 
 And ever anxious for her Child of State, 
 
 C Fr<
 
 io STATE DUNCES, 
 
 From couch of down flow rais'd her drowiy head, 
 Forfook her {lumbers, and to Appius fped. 
 
 Awake, my Son, awake, the Goddefs cries, - 
 Nor longer mourn thy darling loft Excife; s 
 
 (Here the Kid found unfcal'd the Statefman's eyes) 
 Why {lumbers thus my Son, oppreft with care ? 
 While Dullnefs rules, fay, (hall her Sons defpair ? 
 O'er all I fpread my universal fway ; 
 Kings, Prelates, Peers, and Rulers, all obey : 
 Lo! in the Church my mighty pow'r I ftiew, 
 In Pulpit preach, and flumber in the Pew : 
 The Bench and Bar alike my influence owns ; 
 
 Here prate my Magpies, and there doze my Drones. 
 
 In the grave Dons, how formal is my mien, 
 
 Who rule the Gallipots of Warwick- Lane ! 
 
 At Court behold me ftrut in purple pride, 
 
 At Hockley roar, and in Crane-Court prefide. ,* 
 
 But chief in Thee my mighty pow'r is (ecu. ; 
 
 *Tis I infpire thy mind, and fill thy mien; On
 
 A S A T I R .1 1 1 
 
 On Thee, my Child, my duller bleflings fhed, 
 And pour my opium o'er tliy favorite head; 
 Rais'd thee a Ruler of Britannia's fate, 
 And led thee blund'ring to the Helm or State. 
 
 Here bow'd the Statefman low, and thus addrcft : 
 O Goddefs, fole infpirer of my breaft ! 
 To gall the Briitfh neck with Gallic chain i 
 Long have I ftrove, but long have ftrove in vain ; 
 While Calebs rebel to thy facred pow'r, 
 Unveils thofe eyes which thou haft curtain'd o'er; 
 Makes Britain's Sons my dark defigns forefee, 
 Blaft all my fchemes, and ftruggle to be free. 
 O, had my Projects met a milder fate, 
 How had I reign' d a Bafha of the State ! 
 How o'er Britannia fpread imperial fway ! 
 How taught each free-born Briton to obey! 
 No (tailing Freedom then had chear'd her Swains, 
 But j4fias deferts vy'd with Jllbions plains: 
 
 C 2 Turks*
 
 I2 STATE DUNCES, 
 
 Turks, Vandals, Britain! then compar'd with thee, 
 
 Had lmgg'd their chains, and joy'd that they were free ; 
 
 While wond'ring Nations all around had feen 
 
 Me rife a Great Mogul, or Mazarin: 
 
 Then had I taught Britamiia to adore, 
 
 Then led her captive to my lawlefs pow>. 
 
 Methinks, I view her now no more appear 
 
 Firft in the train, and Faireft 'midft the Fair : 
 
 Joylefs I fee the lovely mourner lie, 
 
 Nor glow her cheek, nor fparkle now her eye ; 
 
 Faded each grace, no fmiling feature warm ; 
 
 Torn all her treffes, blighted evVy charm : 
 
 Nor teeming Plenty now each valley crowns ; 
 
 Slaves are her Sons, and tradelefs all her Towns. 
 
 For this, behold yon peaceful Army fed; 
 
 For this, on Senates fee my bounty fhed; 
 
 For this, what wonders, Goddefs, have I wrought! 
 
 How bully'd, begg'd, how treated, and how fought! 
 
 What
 
 A SATIRE. 13 
 
 What wand'ring maze of error blunder d thro 1 , 
 And how repair'd old blunders ftill by new ! 
 Hence the long train of never-ending jars, 
 Of warful Peaces ', and of peaceful Wars, 
 Each myjlic Treaty of the mighty ftore, 
 Which to explain, demands, ten Treaties more : 
 Hence fcarecrow Navies , floating Raree-Jhows ; 
 And hence Iberian pride, and Britain* woes. 
 Thefe wond'rous works, O Goddefs ! have I done, 
 Works ever worthy Dullnefs'' fav'rite Son. 
 
 Lo! on thy Sons alone my favours fhowY; 
 
 None mare my bounty that difdain thy pow'r: 
 
 Yon Feathers, Ribbons , Titles light as air, 
 
 Behold, Thy choiceft Children only fhare : 
 
 Each views the pageant with admiring eyes, 
 
 And fondly grafps the vifionary prize; 
 
 Now proudly fpreads his Leadi?ig-flring of State, 
 
 And thinks — to be a wretch, is to be great. 
 
 But"
 
 I + STATE DUNCE S, 
 
 But turn, O Goddds ! turn thine eyes, and view 
 The darling Leaders of thy gloomy Crew. 
 
 Full open-mouthM Newcastle there behold, 
 Aping a 7////y, fwell into zfcold, 
 Grievous to mortal ear. — As at the place 
 Where loud-tongu d Virgins vend the fcaly race, 
 Harfh peals of vocal thunder fill the flues, 
 And ftunning founds in hideous difcord rife; 
 So, when He tries the wond'rous pow'r of noife, 
 Each haplefs ear's a victim to his voice. 
 
 How blcft, O Chesei.den! whofe art can mend 
 Thofe ears Newcastle was ordain'd to rend. 
 
 See Harrington fecure in filence fit ; 
 No empty words betray his want of wit : 
 If fenfe in hiding folly is exprefs'd, 
 O Harrington ! thy wifdom ftands confefs a* 
 
 To
 
 A SATIRE. 
 
 To Dullnefs facred caufe for ever true, 
 Thy darling Caledonian, Goddefs, view \ 
 The pride and glory of thy Scotia 's plains, 
 And faithful Leader of her venal Swains : 
 Loaded he moves beneath a fervile weight, 
 The dull laborious Packborfe of the State ; 
 Drudges thro' tracks of infamy for Pay, 
 And hackneys out his confcience by the day: 
 Yonder behold the bufy peerlefs Peer, 
 With aipect meagre and important air; 
 His form how Gothic, and his looks how fage! 
 He feems the living Plato of the age. 
 
 Bleft form! in which alone thy merit's feen, 
 Since all thy wifdom centers in thy mien I 
 
 Here Egmont, Albemarle, (for Senates fit) 
 
 And W by the Wife, in Council fit: 
 
 Here Looby G n, Gr m ever dull, 
 
 By birth a Senator, by fate a Fool. 
 
 With
 
 *6 STATE DUNCES, 
 
 While thefe, Britatmia, watchful o'er thy State, 
 Maintain thine Honours, and direct thy Fate, 
 How fliall admiring Nations round adore, 
 Behold thy Greatnefs, tremble at thy Pow'r ; 
 New Shcbas come, invited by thy Fame, 
 Revere thy Wifdom, and extol thy Name! 
 
 Lo! to yon Be?ich now, Goddefs, turn thine eyes, 
 
 And view thy Sons in folemn dullnefs rife ; 
 
 All doating, wrinkled, grave, and gloomy, fee 
 
 Each form confefs thy dull Divinity; 
 
 True to thy caufe behold each trencher d Sage 
 
 Increas'd in folly as advanc'd in age: 
 
 TIerc Ch — r, learn'd in myftic prophecy, 
 
 ( lonfuting Collins, makes each Prophet lye: 
 
 Po >r Woolston by thy Smallbrook there affair d ; 
 
 Gaah fure convinced him, tho' the Prelate fail'd. 
 
 But chief Pastorius, ever grave and dull, 
 Devoid of fenfe, of zeal divinely full, 
 
 Retail;
 
 A S A T I R E. i- 
 
 Retails his Squibs of Science o'er the town, 
 While Charges^ PaJIWals, thro' each ftrcet rcfound; 
 Thefe teach a heav'nly Jesus to obey, 
 While thofe maintain an earthly Appius' fway. 
 Thy Gofpel truth, Pajlorius^ croft we fee,* 
 While God and Mammon's ferv'd at once by Thee. 
 
 Who would not trim, fpeak, vote, or confeience pawn, 
 To lord it o'er a See, and fwell in Lawn ? 
 
 If arts like thofe, O S k, honours claim, 
 
 Than Thee none merits more the Prelate's name : 
 
 Wond'ring behold him faithful to his Fee, 
 
 Prove Parliaments dependent to be free ; 
 
 In Senates blunder, flounder, and difputc, 
 
 For ever reas'ning, never to confute. 
 
 Since Courts for this their iated gilts decree, 
 
 Say, what is Reputation to a See ? 
 
 D Lo ! 
 
 * A Prelate noted for writing Spiritual Paftorals and Temporal Charge - ; 
 in the one he endeavours to ferve the cauie of Chriltianitv, in the other 
 the Mammon of a Miniftrv.
 
 X B STATE DUNCES, 
 
 Lo ! o'er yon flood H— e cafts his Wring eyes,, 
 And wifhful fees the rev'rend turrets rife. 
 While Lambeth opens to thy longing view, 
 Haplefs ! the Mitre ne'er can bind thy brow : 
 Tho' Courts fhculd deign the gift, how wonxTrous hard 
 By thy own doctrines (till to be debarr'd ! 
 For, if from Change* fuch mighty evil fprings, 
 Tranjlatiom fure, O H— e ! are flnful things. 
 
 Thefe Rulers lee, and namelefs numbers more* 
 O Goddefs, of thy train the choiceft ftore, 
 Who Ignorance in Gravity entrench, 
 And grace alike the Pulpit and the Bencfj. 
 
 Full plac'd and penfion'd, lee ! H-r— o ftands ; 
 
 Begrim'd his face,. unpurifyM his hands : 
 
 To Decency he fcorns all nice pretence, 
 
 And reigns firm foe to Cleanlinefs and Senfe. 
 
 How 
 
 * A noted Sermon preached on the 30th of January, on this text, 
 os /':: unto them that arc green to C/MWge, Sec.
 
 A SATIRE. t 9 
 
 How did H-r — o Britain 's caufe advance ! 
 How mine the Sloven and Buffoon of France 1 
 In Senates now, how fcold, how rave, how roar, 
 Of Treaties run the tedious train-trow o'er ! 
 How blunder out whatever fhould be conceal'd, 
 And how keep fecret what fhould be reveal' d ! 
 True Child of Dullnefs ! fee him, Goddefs, claim 
 Pov/'r next myfelf, as next in Birth and Fame. 
 
 Silence! ye Senates, while enribbon'd Younge 
 Pours forth melodious Nothings from his tongue ! 
 How fweet the accents play around the ear, 
 Forrrt'd of fmooth periods, and of well-tun'd air! 
 Leave, gentle Younge, die Senate's dry debate, 
 Nor labour 'midft the Labyrinths of State ; 
 Suit thy foft Genius to more tender themes, 
 And fing of cooling fhadcs, and purling ftreams ; 
 
 D 2 With
 
 20 STATE DUNCES, 
 
 With modern Sing-fong murder ancient Plays,* 
 Or warble in tweet Ode a Brunswick's praife : 
 So {hall thy (trains in purer Dullncfs flow, 
 And laurels wither on a Cibber's brow. 
 Say, can the Statefman wield the Poet's quill, 
 And quit the Senate for Pai^najfus Hill ? 
 Since there no venal vote a Penfion fhares, 
 Nor wants Apollo Lords Commiflioners. 
 
 There W and P , Goddefs, view, 
 
 Firm in thy caufe, and to thy Appius true I 
 Lo ! from their labours what reward betides ! 
 One pays my Army, one my Navy guides, 
 
 To 
 
 This Gentleman, with the affiftance of Roome, Concanen, and feveral 
 others, committed a harbarous murder on the body of an old Comedy, 
 by turning it into a modern Ballad Opera; which was fcarce exhibited 
 on the Stage, before it was thought neceffary to be contracted into one 
 Act. As this is the only living inftance of the furprifing genius and 
 abilities of thefe Wits, I could not forbear mentioning it.
 
 A S A T I R ■ E. 21 
 
 To dance, drefs, ling, and fercnade the Fair, 
 " Conduct a Finger, or reclaim a Hair," 
 O er baleful Tea with females taught to blame, 
 And fpread a fla-nder o'er a Virgin's fame ; 
 Form'd for thefe fofter arts fhall Hervey ftrain 
 With ftubborn Politics his tender brain ! 
 For Minifters laborious pamphlets write, 
 In Senates prattle, and with Patriots fight ! 
 Thy fond Ambition, pretty Youth, give o'er, 
 Prefide at Balls, old Fafhions loft reftore ; 
 So fhall each Toilette in thy caufe engage, 
 And H — ey fhine a P re of the age. 
 
 Behold a Star emblazon C n's coat ! 
 
 Not that the Knight has Merit, but a Vote. 
 
 And here, O Goddefs, num'rous Wrongheads trace, 
 
 Lur'd by a Pe?ifw?i, Ribba?id y or a Place. 
 
 To
 
 S T ATE "DUNCE S, 
 To rnurSer Science, and 1117 caufe defend, 
 Now ilioals of Grub-JlrW Garretteers defcend ; 
 From Schools and Dcfis the writing infe&s crawl, 
 Unlade their Dullnefs, and for Appius bawl. 
 
 Lo ! to thy darling Osborne turn thine eyes, 
 See him o'er Politics fuperior rife ; 
 While Caleb feels the venom of his quill, 
 And wond'ring Minifters reward his (kill : 
 Unlearn d in Logic, yet he writes by rule, 
 
 And proves himfelf in Syllogifm a Fool ; 
 
 Now flies obedient, war with Senfe to wage, 
 And drags th 1 idea thro' the painful page : 
 Unread, unanfwcr'd, ftill he writes again, 
 Still fpins the endlefs cobweb of his brain ; 
 Charm'd with each line, reviewing what he writ, 
 Bleffes his ftars, and wonders at his wit. 
 
 Nor lefs, O Wai.singham, thy Worth appears ! 
 Mike in merit, tho' unlike in years : HI-
 
 ? 
 
 s 
 
 A SATIRE. 
 
 Ill-fated Youth ! what ftars malignant fried 
 Their baneful influence o'er thy brainlefs head, 
 Doom'd to be ever writing never read ! 
 For bread to libel Liberty and Senfe, 
 And damn thy Patron weekly with defence. 
 Drench'd in the fable flood, O nadir, thou ftill 
 O'er fkins of parchment drove thy venal quill* 
 At Temple Ale-houfe told an idle tale, 
 And pawn'd thy credit for a mug of ale ; 
 Unknown to Appius then had been thy name,. 
 Unlac'd thy coat, unfacrific'd his fame ; 
 Nor vaft unvended reams would Peele deplore, 
 As victims deftin'd to the common-fhore. 
 
 As Dunce to Dunce in endlefs numbers breed, 
 So to Concanen fee a Ralph fuccecd ; 
 A tiny Witling of thefe writing days, 
 Full-fam'd for tunelefs Rhimes, and fhort-liv'd Plays. 
 
 1 "* 
 
 Write
 
 2+ STATE DUNCES, 
 
 Write on, my lucklefs Bard, ftill imafliam'd, 
 Tho' burnt thy Journals, and thy Drama's damn'd ; 
 "Tis Bread infpires thy Politics and Lays, 
 Not thirft of immortality or praife. 
 
 Thefe, Goddefs, view, the choiccft of the train, 
 While yet unnumber'd Dunces ftill remain ; 
 Deans, Critics, Lawyers, Bards, a motley crew, 
 To Dullnefs faithful, as to Appius true. 
 
 Enough, the Goddefs cries, Enough I've feen;^ 
 While thefe fupport, fecure my .Son mall reign ; 
 Still fhalt thou blund'ring rule Britannia's fate, 
 Still Grub-Jireet hail Thee Minijler of State. 
 
 THE END.
 
 MANNERS; 
 
 SATIRE. 
 
 Written in 1738, 
 
 Paulus vel Cojfus vel Drufus moribus ejlo* 
 
 Juvenal.
 
 MANNERS. 
 
 " "IT 7ELL of all plagues which make Mankind their 
 
 " fport, 
 cc Guard me, ye Heav'ns ! from that worft plague— -a Court. 
 c< 'Midft the mad Manfions of Moor-fields ', I'd be 
 " A ftraw-crown'd Monarch, in mock majefty, 
 u Rather than Sovereign rule Britaimias fate, 
 " Gurs'd with the Follies and the Farce of State. 
 " Rather in Newgate Walls, O ! let me dwell, 
 " A doleful Tenant of the darkling Cell, N 
 * c Than fwell, in Palaces, the mighty ftore 
 u Of Fortune's Fools, and Parafites of Pow'r. 
 " Than Crowns, Ye Gods ! be any ftate my doom, 
 
 " Or any dungeon, but a Drawing-Room. 
 
 E 2 " Thrice
 
 28 MANNERS, 
 
 " Thrice happy Patriot ! whom no Courts debaic, 
 M No Titles leffen, and no Stars difgrace. 
 " Still nod the Plumage o'er the brainlefs head ; 
 " c Still o'er the faithlefs heart the Ribband fpread, 
 " Such toys may ferve to fignalize the Tool, 
 " To gild the Knave, or garnifh out the Fool ; 
 11 While You, with Roman virtue arm'd, difdain 
 " The tinfel trappings and the glitt'ring chain : 
 " Fond of your Freedom fpurn the venal Fee, 
 " And prove He's only Great who dares be Free* 
 
 Thus funo; Philemon in his calm retreat, 
 Too wife for pow'r r too virtuous to be great. 
 
 But whence this rage at Courts ? reply'd his Grace, 
 Say, is the mighty crime, to be in Place ? 
 Is that the deadly fin, mark'd out by Heav'n, 
 For which no mortal e'er can be forgiv'n ? 
 Mull All, All fuffer, who in Courts engage, 
 Down from Lord Steward, to the puny Page ? 
 
 Can
 
 A SATIRE. 
 
 Can Courts and Places be fuch finful things, 
 The facred gifts and palaces of Kings ? 
 
 A Place may claim our rev'rence, Sir, I own; 
 But then the Man its dignity muft crown: 
 Tis not the Truncheon, or the Ermine's pride, 
 Can fcreen the Coward, or the Knave can hide. 
 Let Stair and ***-(■ head our Arms and Law, 
 The Judge and Gen'ral muft be view'd with awe: 
 The Villain then would fhudder at the Bar; 
 And Spain grow humble at the found of War. 
 
 What Courts are facred, when I tell your Grace, 
 Manners alone muft fanctify the place ? 
 
 3? 
 
 Hence 
 
 ■f* It is to be lamented that the barrennefs of the prefent times obliges 
 the Author to truft to posterity , for the fupply of a proper character in 
 
 this place. In 1775, the char after isfuppliedin every minute particular' 
 
 by a Judge at the head of the Law,
 
 30 MANNERS, 
 
 Hence only each its proper name receives; 
 
 Haywood's a brothel; White s% a den of thieves: 
 
 Bring whores and thieves to Court, you change the fcene, 
 
 St. James's turns the brothel, and the den. 
 
 Who would the Courtly Chapel holy call, 
 Tho' the whole Bench fhould confecrate the wall ? 
 While the trim Chaplain, confeious of a See, 
 Cries out, " My King, I have no God but Thee;" 
 Lifts to the Royal Seat the afking eye, 
 And pays to George the tribute of the iky ; 
 Proves fin alone from humble roofs muft fpring, 
 Nor can one earthly failing {lain a King. 
 
 Bishops and Kings may confecrate, 'tis true ; 
 
 Manners alone claim homage as their due. 
 
 Without, 
 
 % Dr. Swift fays, "That the late Earl of Oxford, in the time of 
 ■' his Miniftry, never pafs'd hy White's Chocolate-Houfe (the common 
 " rendezvous of infamous Sharpers and noble Cullies) without beftowing 
 " a curfe upon that famous Academy, as the bane of half the Englifh 
 " Nobility."
 
 A SATIRE, 3 , 
 
 Without, the Court and Church are both prophane, 
 Whatever Prelate preach, or Monarch reign ; 
 Religions roftrum Virtue % fcaffold grows, 
 And Crowns and Mitres are mere raree-fhows, 
 
 In vain, behold yon rev'rend turrets rife, 
 And S arums facred ipire falute the flues ! 
 If the lawn'd Levites earthly vote be fold,, 
 And God's free gift retail'd for Mammon gold ; 
 No rev'rence can the proud Cathedral claim, 
 But Henley's fhop, and Sherlock's, are the fame. 
 
 Whence have St. Stepheit\ walls fo hallow'd been ? 
 Whence ? From the virtue of his Sons within . 
 But mould fome guileful Serpent, void of grace, 
 Glide in its bounds, and poifon all the place ; 
 Should e'er the facred voice be fet to fale > 
 And o'er the heart the Golden Fruit prevail ; 
 The place is alter'd, Sir ; nor think it ftrange 
 To fee the Senate fink into a Change.. Or
 
 3 2 MANNERS, 
 
 Or Court, or Church, or Senate-houfe, or Hall, 
 Manners alone beam dignity on all. 
 Without their influence, Palaces are cells ; 
 Crane-Court * a magazine of Cockle-fhells ; 
 The folemn Bench no bofom ftrikes with awe, 
 But Wejtminfiers a warehoufe of the Law. 
 
 Thefe honeft truths, my Lord, deny you can ; 
 Since all allow that c Manners make the Man/ 
 Hence only glories to the Great belong, 
 Or Peers muft mingle with the peafant throng. 
 
 Tho 1 ftrung with Ribbands, yet beheld his Grace 
 Shines but a Lacquey in a higher place ! 
 .Strip the gay Liv'ry from the Courtier's back, 
 What marks the diff'rence 'twixt My Lord and Jack f 
 The fame mean, fupple, mercenary Knave, 
 The Tool of Power, and of State the Slave : 
 
 Alike 
 * The Royal Society.
 
 A SATIRE. 3 3 
 
 Alike the vaflal heart in each prevails, 
 And all his Lordfhip boafts is larger vales. 
 
 "Wealth, Manors, Titles, may defcend, 'tis true ; 
 But ev'ry Heir muft Merit's claim renew. 
 
 Who blufhes not to fee a C Heir 
 
 Turn Have to found, and languifh for a PlayY ?* 
 What piping, fidling, fqueaking, quav'ring, bawling ! 
 What ling- long riot, and what eunuch-fquawling ! 
 
 C , thy worth all Italy fhall own, 
 
 A Statefman fit, where NERof fill'd the throne. 
 
 See poor LjEvinus, anxious lor renown, 
 Through the long gallery trace his lineage down, y 
 And claim each Hero's vifage for his own. J 
 
 F What 
 
 * That living witnefs of the folly, extravagance, and depravity of the 
 Englifli, Farinello, who is now at the Court of Spain, triumphing 
 in the fpoils of our Nobility, as their Pirates are in thofe of our injured 
 Merchants. 
 
 •f- A Roman Emperor remarkable for his paffion for mufic.
 
 -, M A N N E R S, 
 
 What tluV in each the felf-fame features fliine, 
 Unlefs fome lineal virtue marks the line, 
 In vain, alas ! He boafts his Grandfire's name, 
 Or hopes to borrow luftre from his fame. 
 Who but muft fmile, to fee the tim'rous Peer 
 Point 'mong his race our bulwark in the war ? 
 Or in fad Engtifh tell how Senates hung 
 On the fweet muiic of his Father's tongue ? 
 Unconfeious, tho 1 his Sires were wife and brave, 
 Their virtues only find in him a grave-. 
 
 Not io with Stanhope jf fee by him fuftain'd 
 Each hoary honour which his Sires had gaih'd. 
 To him the virtues of his race appear 
 The precious portion of y\yc hundred year ; 
 Defcended down, by him to be enjoy'd, 
 \ et holds the talent loft, if unemploy'd. 
 
 From 
 
 f The Right Honourable the Earl of Chcilerficld.
 
 A SATIRE 
 
 From hence behold his gen'rous ardour rife, 
 To fwell the facred ftream with frefh fappli 
 
 Abroad, the Guardian of his Country's caufi ; 
 At home, a Tully to defend her L 
 Senates with awe the patriot founds imbibe, 
 And bold Corruption almoft drops the bribe. 
 Thus added worth to worth, and grace to gra* 
 He beams new glories back upon his race. 
 
 Afk ye, What's Honour ? I'll the truth impa 
 Know, honour, then, is Honefty of Heart. 
 To the fweet fcenes of focial Stow* repair, 
 And fearch the Matter's breaft, — You'll find it there. 
 Too proud to grace the Sycophant or Sla . 
 It only harbours with the Wife and Brave ; 
 Ungain'd by Title:-, Place, Wealth) or Birth : 
 Learn this, and learn to blufh, ye Sons of Earth ! 
 
 P 2 Blufh 
 
 I '... t of the Right Honourable the Lord Vifcount Cobh.':
 
 3 6 manners;. 
 
 Blufh to behold this Ray of Nature made 
 The vi&im of a Ribband \ or Cockade, 
 
 A(k the proud Peer, What's Honour ? he difplays 
 A purchas'd Patent, or the Herald's blaze y 
 Or, if the Royal Smile his hopes has bleftj 
 Points to the glittering Glory on his Breaft : 
 Yet, if beneath no real virtue reign, 
 On the gay coat the Star is but a ftain : 
 For I could whifper in his Lordfhip's ear, 
 Worth only beams true radiance on the Star, 
 
 Hence fee the Garter'd Glory dart its rays > 
 And mine round E — with redoubled blaze : 
 Afk ye from whence this flood of luftre's feen ? 
 Why E — whifpers, votes, and faw Turin. 
 
 Lono; Milo reijm'd the Minion of Renown ; 
 Loud bis euloo-iums echo'd thro' the Town : 
 
 Where'er
 
 A SA T I'R E, 37 
 
 Where'er he went, ftill crouds around him throng, 
 
 And haiFd the Patriot as he pafs'd along. 
 
 See the loft Peer, unhonour'd now by all, 
 
 Steal through the ftreet, or fkulk along the Mall \ 
 
 Applauding founds no more falute his ear, 
 
 But the loud Pcea?i\ funk into a fneer. 
 
 Whence, you'll enquire, could fpring a change fo fad'?' 
 
 Why, the poor man ran military mad ;;. 
 
 By this miftaken maxim ftill mifled, 
 
 That Men of Honour muft be cloth'd in Red, 
 
 My Grandfire wore it, Milo cries — 'tis good : 
 
 But know, the Grandfire ftain'd it red with blood* 
 
 Firft 'midft the deathful dangers of the field, 
 
 He fhone his Country's guardian, and its fliield ;.. 
 
 Taught Danube 's ftream with Gallic gore to flow ; 
 Hence bloom'd the Laurel on the Grandfire's brow : 
 But fhall the Son expedl the wreath to wear, 
 For the mock triumphs of an Hyde-Park War ? 
 
 Soone;
 
 3 8 M A N N E R S, 
 
 Sooner (ball Bunhill, Blenheims glories claim, 
 Or Billers rival brave Eugene in fame ; 
 Sooner a like reward their labours crown, 
 Who ftorm a Dunghill, and who fack a Town. 
 
 Mark our bright Youths, how gallant and how gay, 
 Frefn plum'd and powder'd in Review Array. 
 Unfpoil'd each feature by the martial fear, 
 
 Lo I A affumes the God of War : 
 
 Yet vain, while prompt to arms by plume and pay, 
 He claims the Soldier's Name from Soldier's Play. 
 This truth, my Warrior, treafure in thy breaft, 
 A ftanding Soldier is a ftanding jeft. 
 When bloody battles dwindle to Reviews, 
 Armies muft then defcend to Puppet-mews ; 
 Where the lae'd Log may ftrut the Soldier's part, 
 Bedeck'd with feather, tho' unarm'd with heart. 
 
 There are who lay, " You lafh the fins of men ! 
 " Leave, leave to Pope the poignance of the pen \ 
 
 " Hope
 
 A SATIRE. 
 4< Hope not the bays mall wreath around thy head ; 
 " Fannius may write, but Flaccus will be read, ,J 
 Shall only One have privilege to blame ? 
 What then, are vice and folly Royal Game ? 
 Mud all be Poachers who attempt to kill ? 
 All, but the mighty Sovereign of the Quill ? 
 Shall Pope, alone, the plenteous harvefi have, 
 And I not glean one ftraggling Fool, or Knave ? 
 Praife, 'tis allow'd, is free to all mankind ; 
 Say, why mould honeft Satire be confined ? 
 Tbo'j like tli' immortal Bard's, my feeble dart 
 Stains not its feather in the culprit heart ; 
 Yet know, the fmalleft infeel of the wing 
 The horfe may teaze, or elephant can fling : 
 Ev'n I, by chance, fome lucky darts may fliowV, 
 And gall fome great Leviathans of Pow'r. 
 
 I name not W e ; You the reafon guefs ; 
 
 Mark yon fell Harpy hov'ring o'er the Prcfs. 
 
 39 
 
 Secure
 
 c0 MANNER S, 
 
 Secure the Mull* may fport with names of Kings ; 
 But Minifters, my Friend, are dangerous things. 
 
 Who would have P n* anfwer what he writ ; 
 
 Or Special Juries, judges of his wit ? 
 
 Pope writes unhurt— -but know, 'tis different quite 
 To beard the lion, and to.crufh the mite. 
 Sale may he dam the Statefman in each line ; 
 Thofe dread his fatire, who dare punifh mine. 
 
 Turn, turn your fatire then, you cry, to praife, 
 Whv, praife is fatire, in thefe finful days. 
 Say, mould I make a Patriot of Sir Bill, 
 
 •Or fwear that G 's Duke has wit at will-; 
 
 From the gull'd Knight could I expect a place, 
 Or hope to lye a dinner from his Grace, 
 Tho 1 a reward be gracioufly beftow'd 
 On the foft fatire of each Birth-day Ode ? 
 
 * A famous Sollicitor. 
 
 The
 
 A SATIRE. 4 x 
 
 The good and bad alike with praife are bleft ; 
 Yet thofe who merit moft, ftill want it leaft : 
 But confcious Vice ftill courts the chearing ray, 
 While Virtue mines, nor afks the glare of day. 
 
 ' O J 
 
 Need I to any, Pult'ney's worth declare ? 
 Or tell Him Carteret charms, who has an ear ? 
 Or, Pitt, can thy example be unknown, 
 While each fond Father marks it to his Son ? 
 
 I cannot truckle to a Slave in State, 
 And praife a Blockhead's wit, becaufe he's great : 
 Down, down, ye hungry Garretteers, defcend, 
 
 Call W e* Burleigh, call him Britain* Friend ; 
 
 Behold the genial ray of Gold appear, 
 
 And rouze, ye fwarms of Grub-ftreet and Rag-fair, 
 
 G See 
 
 • See thele two Characters compared in the Gazetteers ; but, left none 
 •f thofe papers mould have efcaped their common fate, fee the two Cha- 
 racters diftinguifhed in the Craftsman,
 
 ,2 MANNERS, 
 
 i 
 
 See with what zeal yon tiny Infeclf burns, 
 And follows Queens from palaces to urns : 
 Tho' cruel Death has clos'd the Royal ear, 
 The flattering Fly ftill buzzes round the bier i 
 But what avails, fince Queens no longer live ? 
 Why, Kings can read, and Kings, you know, may give. 
 A Mitre may repay his heav'nly Crown, 
 And, while he decks her brow, adorn his own. 
 
 Let Laureat Cibber Birth-day Sonnets ling, 
 Or Fanny crawl, an Ear-wig on the King: 
 While one is void of wit, and one of grace, 
 Why mould. I envy either Song or Place ? 
 I could not flatter, the rich Butt to gain ; 
 Nor fink a Slave, to rife V—e C n. 
 
 Perifh my verfe ! whene'er one venal line 
 Bedaubs a Duke, or makes a King divine, Firlt 
 
 + A certain Court Chaplain, who wrote, or rather ftole, a charac- 
 ter of the late Queen from Dr. Burnet's character of Queen Mary.
 
 A SATIRE, 43 
 
 Firft bid me fwear, he's found who has the plague, 
 Or Horace rivals Stanhope at the Hague, 
 What, mall I turn a Pandar to the Throne, 
 And lift with B--ll* to roar for Half-a-crown ? 
 Sooner T~r — l fhall with Tully vie, 
 Or W~n — n in Senate fcorn a — ; 
 Sooner Iberia tremble for her fate 
 From M h's Arms, or Ab — n's Debate. 
 
 Tho' fawning Flatt 'ry ne'er fliall taint my lays, 
 Yet know, when Virtue calls, I burft to praife. 
 Behold yon Temple-f rais'd by Cobham's hand, 
 Sacred to Worthies of his native land : 
 Ages were ranfack'd for the Wife and Great, 
 Till Barnard came, and made the groupe complete* 
 
 Be 
 
 * A noted Agent in a Mob-Regiment, who is employ 'd to rewaid 
 their venal vociferations, on certain occaiions, with Half-a-crown each 
 Man. 
 
 •f The Temple of Britifh Worthies in the gardens at Stow, in which 
 the Lord Cobham has lately erected the Bufto of Sir John Barnard.
 
 44 MANNERS, 
 
 Be Barnard there — enlivcn'd by the voice, 
 Each Bufto bow'd, and fanctify'd the choice. 
 
 Point! efs all Satire in thefe iron times ; 
 Too faint are colours, and too feeble rhimes. 
 Rife then, gay Fancy, future glories bring, 
 And ftretch o'er happier days thy healing wingv 
 
 Rapt into thought, \o ! I Britannia fee 
 Riling fuperior o'er the fubject Sea , 
 View her gay pendents fpread their filken wings^ 
 Big with the fate of Empires, and of Kings : 
 The tow'ring Barks dance lightly o'er the main, 
 And roll their thunder thro' the realms of Spain. 
 Peace, violated Maid, they afk no more, 
 But waft her back triumphant to our fhore j 
 While buxom Plenty, laughing in her train, 
 Glads ev'ry heart, and crowns the Warrior's pain. 
 
 On
 
 A SATIRE, 45 
 
 On, Fancy, on ! ftill ftretch the pleafing fcene, 
 And bring fair Freedom with her golden reign ; 
 Chear'd by whofe beams ev'n meagre Want can fmile, 
 And the poor Peafant whittle 'midft his toil. 
 
 Such days, what Briton wifhes not to fee ? 
 And fuch each Briton, FRED'RICK,* hopes from Thee, 
 
 * The Father of George the Third., 
 
 THE END.
 
 THE 
 
 G Y M N A S I A D, 
 
 O R 
 
 BOXING-MATCH; 
 
 A very Short, but very Curious 
 
 EPIC POEM. 
 
 WITH THE 
 
 PROLEGOMENA of SCRIBLERUS TERTIUS, 
 
 AND 
 
 NOTES VARIORUM. 
 
 Nos hcec novimus elfe nihil. Mart,
 
 TO THE 
 
 MOST PUISSANT and INVINCIBLE 
 
 Mr. JOHN B R OUG H t O N. 
 
 A D this Dedication been addreffed to fome Reverend 
 Prelate, 01 'Female Court-Favourite ', to fome Blunder- 
 
 ing State/man, or Apojlate Patriot, I mould doubtlefs have 
 launched into the higheft encomiums on Public Spirit, 
 Policy, Virtue, Piety, &c. and, like the reft of my Bro- 
 ther Dedicators, had moft fuccefsfully impofed on their 
 vanity, by afcribing to them qualities they were utterly 
 unacquainted with ; by which means I had prudently reaped 
 the reward of a Panegyrijl from my Patron, and, at the 
 fame time, fecured the reputation of a Satyrijl with the 
 Public. 
 
 II But
 
 [ 50 ] 
 But fcorning thefe bafe arts, I prefent the following 
 Poem to you, unfwayed by either Flattery or Intereft ; iince 
 your Modefty would defend you againft the poifon of the 
 one, and your known Ccconomy prevent an Author's ex- 
 pectations of the other. I mall therefore only tell you, what 
 you really are, and leave thofe (whofe Patrons are of the 
 higher clafs) to tell them what they really are not. But 
 fuch is the depravity of human nature, that every i- 
 
 pliment we beftow on another, is too apt to be deemed a 
 Satire on ourfclves ; yet furely, while I am prailing the 
 Strength of your Arm, no Politician can think it meant as a 
 _ leffion on the Weaknefs of his Head ; or, while I am 
 juftifying your title to the character of a Ma?i, will any 
 modern Petit-Maitre think it an impeachment of his affinity 
 to that of its mimic counterfeit, a Motzkey f 
 
 Were I to attempt a defcription of your qualifications, 
 I might juftly have recourfe to the Majefty of slgamemnonj 
 the Courage of Achilles, the Strength of Ajax, and the 
 T '. T ifdom of Ulyffes ; but, as your own Heroic Actions afford 
 
 us
 
 C 5* ] 
 us the beft mirror of your Merits, I mall leave the Reader 
 to view in that the amazing Luftre of a Character, a few traits 
 of which only, the following Poem was intended to difplay ; 
 and in which, had the ability of the Poet equalled the 
 magnanimity of his Hero, I doubt not but the Gymnasiad 
 had, like the immortal Iliad, been handed, down to the 
 admiration of all pofterity. 
 
 As your fuperior Merits contributed towards railing you to 
 the Dignities you now enjoy, and placed you even as the 
 Safe-guard of Royalty itfelf, fo I cannot help thinking it 
 happy for the Prince, that he is now able to boaft one real 
 Champion in his fervice : and what Frenchman would not 
 tremble more at the puiffant Arm of a Broughton, than at 
 the ceremonious Gauntlet of a Dimmack? 
 
 / am, 
 
 with the mojl profound re/befit 
 to your heroic virtues, 
 your ?noft devoted y 
 
 and mojl humble Servant.
 
 ——< ■—» 
 
 SCRIBLERUS TERTIUS 
 
 OFT HE 
 
 POEM. 
 
 J T is an old faying, rf» t *■«*, * * JM* .f W- 
 
 //0/z : it mould feem then that Poetry, which is afpecies ol 
 Invention, muft naturally derive its being from the fame 
 origin : hence it will be eafy to account for the many flimfy 
 Ghoft-like Apparitions, that every day make their appearance 
 among us ; for if it be true, as Naturalifts obferve, that the 
 health and vigour of the Mother is neceffary to produce the 
 like qualities in the Child, what iffue can be expected 
 from the womb of fo meagre a Pare?jt ? 
 
 But there is another fpecies of Poetry, which, inftead. ol 
 owing its birth to the belly ^ like Minerva (brings at once 
 
 from
 
 [ 54 ] 
 from the head : of this kind arc thofe productions of Wit, 
 Senfe, and Spirit, which once born, like the Goddefs herfelf, 
 immediately become immortal. It is true, thefe are a 
 fort of miraculous births, and therefore it is no wonder they 
 
 fhculd be found fo rare among us. As Glory is the noble 
 
 infpirer of the latter, fo Hunger is the natural incentive of 
 the former : thus Fame and Food are the fpurs with which 
 every Poet mounts his Pegafus ; but, as the impetus of the 
 belly is apt to be more cogent than that of the head^ fo you 
 will ever fee the one pricking and goading a tired Jade to a 
 hobbling trot, while the other only incites the foaming 
 Steed to a majeftic capriol. 
 
 The gentle Reader, it is apprehended, will not long be 
 at a lofs to determine, which f pedes the following Produc- 
 tion ought to be ranked under ; but as the Parent moll un- 
 naturally caft it out as the fpurious iffue of his brain, and 
 even cruelly denies it the common privilege of his name ; 
 
 ftruck
 
 [55 ] 
 ftruck with the delectable beauty of its Features, I could not 
 avoid adopting the little poetic Orphan, and by dreiTing it up 
 with a few Notes, 6cc. prefent it to the Public as perfeel as 
 poffihle. 
 
 Had I, in imitation of other great Authors, only ccn~ 
 fulted my intereft in the publication of this inimitable Piece, 
 (which doubtlefs will undergo numerous impreflions) I might 
 firft have fent it into the world naked, then, by the ad- 
 dition of a Commentary, Notes Variorum, Prolegomena, and 
 all that, levied a new Tax upon the Public ; and after 
 all, by a fort of modern Poetical Legerdemain, changing the 
 name of the principal Hero, and inferting a few hypercritics 
 of a flattering Friend's, have rendered the former Editions 
 incorrect, and cozened the curious Reader out of a treble 
 conjideration for the fame Tfrork \ but however this may fait 
 the tricking Arts of a Bookfeller, it is certainly much below 
 
 the fublime Genius of an Author. 1 know it will be laid, 
 
 that
 
 C 56 3 - 
 
 that a Man has an equal right to make as much as he can 
 of his wi^ as well as of his money : but then it ought to be 
 confidered, whether there may not be fuch a thing as ufury 
 in botli ; and the Law having only provided again ft it in 
 one inftance, is, I apprehend, no very moral plea for the 
 practice of it in the other.* 
 
 The judicious Reader will eafily perceive, that the fol- 
 lowing Poem in all its properties partakes of the Epic ; fuch 
 
 as 
 
 * As this may be thought to be particularly aimed at an Author who 
 as lately reported to be dead, and whofe lofs all Lovers of the Mufes 
 would have the greateft reafon to lament ; it may not be improper to 
 allure the Reader, that it was written, and intended to have been pub- 
 limed, before that report, and was only meant as an attack upon the 
 general abufe of this kind. As to our Author himfelf, he has fre- 
 quently given public testimonies of his veneration for that great Man's 
 (.'cuius; nor may it be unentertaining to the Reader, to acquaint him 
 
 with one private inftance: Immediately on hearing the report of 
 
 Mr. Pope's death, he was heard to break forth in the following ex- 
 clamation : 
 
 Vow dead! Hujh, bujh. Report, the Jland 'reus lye -, 
 
 Fame Jays be lives Immortals never die.
 
 [ 57 3 
 as Fighting, Speeching, Bullying, Ranting, Sec. (to fay no- 
 thing of the Moral) and, as many thoufand verfes are thought 
 neceffary to the conftruction of this kind of Poem, it may be 
 objected, that this is too JJjort to be ranked under that clafs : 
 to which I fhall only anfwer, that as concifenefs is the laft 
 fault a Writer is apt to commit, fo it is generally the firft a 
 Reader is willing to forgive ; and though it may not be 
 altogether fo long, yet I dare fay, it will not be found lefs 
 replete with the true Vis poetica, than (not to mention the 
 Iliad, /Eneid, &c.) even Lec7iidas itfelf. 
 
 It may farther be objected, that the characters of our 
 principal Heroes are too humble for the grandeur of the 
 Epic fable ; but the candid Reader will be pleafed to ob~ 
 ferve, that they are not here celebrated in their mechanic, but 
 in their heroic capacities, as Boxers, who, by the Ancients 
 themfelves, have ever been eftecmed worthy to be immor- 
 talized in the nobleft works of this nature ; of which the 
 
 I Epe'us
 
 [ 58 ] 
 Epeus and Eitryalus of Homer, and the' Entellus and Dares 
 of Virgil, are inconteftable authorities. And as thofe Au- 
 thors were ever careful, that their principal Perfonages 
 (however mean in themfelves) mould derive their pedigree 
 from fome Deity, or illuflrious Hero, fo our Author has 
 with equal propriety made his fpring from Phaeto?i and 
 Neptune ; under which characters he beautifully allegorifes 
 their different occupations oi Waterman and Coachman. — 
 But for my own part, I cannot conceive, that the dignity of 
 the Hero's profeflion is any ways eflential to that of the 
 action ; for, if the greateft pe?fons are guilty of the meanefl 
 aclions, why may not the greateft aclions be afcribed to the 
 meanejl perfons f 
 
 As the main action of this Poem is entirely fupported by 
 the principal Heroes themfelves, it has been malicioufly 
 inhnuatcd to be defigned, as an unmannerly reflection on 
 a late glorious Victory, where, it is pretended, the whole 
 
 action
 
 [ 59 ] 
 action was atcliicvcd without the interpofition of the principal 
 
 Heroes at all. — But as the moft innocent meanings may by 
 ill minds be wrefted to the moft wicked purpofes, if any 
 fuch conftruclion mould be made, I will venture to affirm, 
 that it muft proceed from the factious venom of the Reader, 
 and not from any difloyal malignity in our Author, who 
 is too w r ell acquainted with the power, ever to arraign the 
 purity of Government : befides, the poignance of the Sword 
 is too prevalent for that of the Pen \ and who, when there 
 are at prefent fo many thoufand unanfwerable /landing argu- 
 ments ready to defend, would ever be Quixote enough to 
 attack, either the Omnipotence of a Prince, or the Omni- 
 fcience of his Minifters ? 
 
 Were I to attempt an analyfis of this Poem, I coifd de- 
 monftrate that it contains (as much as a piece of fo fublimc 
 a nature will admit of) all thofe true Jlandards of Wit, 
 Humour, Raillery, Satire, and Ridicule, which a late 
 
 I 2 Writer
 
 [ 6o ] 
 
 Writer has fo marvelloujly difcovered, and might, on the 
 
 part of our Author, fay with that profound Critic, Jafla 
 
 eft Alea : but as the obfcurity of a beauty too ftrongly 
 argues the want of one, fo an endeavour to elucidate the 
 merits of the following performance, might be apt to give 
 the Reader a difadvantageous impreflion againfl: it, as it 
 might tacitly imply they were too myfterious to come within 
 the compafs of his comprehension. I fhall therefore leave 
 them to his more curious obfervation, and bid him heartily 
 farewell Lege & delegare* 
 
 SCRIBLERUS TERTIUS,
 
 THE 
 
 ARGUMENT 
 
 OF THE 
 
 FIRST BOOK. 
 
 THE Invocation, the Proportion, the Night before ihe Battle defcribed ; 
 the Morning opens, and difcovers the Multitude hafting to the place 
 of Action -, their various Profemons, Dignities, &c. illustrated ; the 
 Spectators being feated, the youthful Combatants are firft introduced ; 
 their manner of Fighting difplayed ; to thefe fucceed the Champions 
 of a higher degree ; their fuperior Abilities marked, fome of the mofl 
 eminent particularly celebrated ; mean while, the principal Heroes 
 are reprefented fitting, and ruminating on the approaching Combat, 
 when the Herald fummons them to the Lifts.
 
 THE 
 
 GYMNASIA D 
 
 BOOK I. 
 
 O I N G, ling, Mufe, the dire contefted Fray, 
 
 And bloody honours of that dreadful day, 
 When Phaeton s bold Son (tremendous name) 
 Dar'd Neptune* Offspring to the Lifts of Fame, 
 
 5 What 
 
 V. 3, 4. When Phaetons hold Son f It is ufual for Poets to call the 
 Dard Neptune s Offspring 1 Sons after the names of their 
 Fathers j as Agamemnon the Son of Atreus, and Achilles the Son of PeUus 
 are frequently termed Pelides and Atrides. Oar Author would doubtlels 
 have followed this laudable example, but he found Broughtonides and 
 Stcphenfonidesy or their contractions, too unmufical for metre, and 
 therefore with wonderful art adopts two poetical Parents -, which ob- 
 viates the difficulty, and at the fame time heightens the dignity of his 
 Heroes - BaukSku
 
 64 THE GYMNASIA D, 
 
 5 What Fury fraught Thee with Ambition's fire, 
 Ambition, equal foe to Son and Sire ? 
 One, haplefs fell by Jove\ asthereal arms, 
 And One, the Triton s mighty pow'r difarms. 
 
 Now all lay hufh'd within the folds of night, 
 i o And faw in painted dreams th' important fight ; 
 
 While hopes and fears alternate turn the fcales, 
 
 And now this Hero, and now that prevails ; 
 
 Blows and imaginary blood furvey, 
 
 Then waking, watch the flow approach of day ; 
 1 5 When, lo ! Aurora in her fafTron veft 
 
 Darts a glad ray, and gilds the ruddy Eafl. 
 
 Forth 
 
 V. 6. Ambition, equal foe to Son and Sire?"] It has been maintained by 
 fome Philofophers, that the paffions of the mind are in fome meafure 
 hereditary, as well as the features of the body. According to this doc- 
 trine, our Author very beautifully reprefents the frailty of ambition 
 
 defcending from Father to Son ; and as Original Sin may in fome fort 
 
 be accounted for on this fyftem, it is very probable our Author had a 
 theological, as well as phyfical, and moral meaning in this verfe. 
 
 For the latter part of this Note, we are obliged to an tminent Divine.
 
 AN EPIC FOE M. 65 
 
 Forth ifliiing now all ardent fcek the place 
 Sacred to Fame, and the Athletic race. 
 As from their Hive the clufVring Squadrons pour 
 20 O'er fragrant meads, to fip the vernal flow'r.; 
 So from each Inn the legal Swarms impel, 
 Of banded Seers, and Pupils of the Quill. 
 Senates and Shambles pour forth all their ftorc, 
 Mindful of mutton, and of laws no more ; 
 
 25 E'en 
 
 V. 21. legal Swarms impel,'\ An ingenious Critic of my acquaintance 
 objected to this fimile, and would by no means admit the companion 
 between Bees and Lawyers to be juffc : one, he faid, was an induilrious, 
 harmlefs, and ufeful fpecies, none of which properties could be affirmed 
 of the other; and therefore he thought the Drone, that lives on the plun- 
 der of the hive, a more proper archetype. I muft confefs myfelf in fome 
 meafure inclined to fublcribe my Friend's opinion ; but then we mull 
 confider, that our Author did not intend to defcribe their qualities, but 
 their number -> and in this refpect no one, I think, can have any objection 
 to the propriety of the comparifon. 
 
 V. 24. and of laws no more ;] The original MS. has it bribes ; but, as 
 this might feem to carl: an invidious afperfion on a certain Aflembly, re- 
 markable for their abhorrence of Venality ; and, at the fame time, might 
 
 K l'ubjetf:
 
 68 THE GYMNASIA D> 
 
 But firft, the infant Progeny of Mar^ 
 45 Join in the lifts, and wage their pigmy wars ^ 
 Train' d to the manual fight, and bruifeful toil, 
 The flop defenfive, and gymnaftic foil, 
 With nimble fifts their early prowefs fhow, 
 And mark the future Hero in each blow. 
 
 50 To thefe, the hardy iron race fucceed, 
 
 All Sons of Hockley and fierce Brick-Jlreet breed :. 
 
 Mature in valour, and inur'd to blood, 
 
 Dauntlefs each foe in form terrific ftood ; 
 
 Their callous bodies, frequent in the fray, 
 55 Mock'd the fell ftroke, nor to its force gave way. 
 
 'Mongft: 
 
 V. 44. infant progeny of Mars'] Our Author in this defcription al- 
 ludes to the hiifiis Trojce of Virgil, 
 
 Incedunt Pueri 
 
 Trojce fnventus 
 
 — i Pugnaeque ciunt fimulachrafub armis. 
 
 V. 51. Hockley and fierce Brick-Jlreet breed'] Two famous Athletic 
 
 Seminaries.
 
 AN EPIC POEM. 69 
 
 'Mongft thefe G/overius, not the laft in fame, 
 And he whofe Clog delights the beauteous Dame ; 
 Nor leaft thy praife, whofe artificial Light, 
 In Dians abfence, gilds the clouds of night. 
 
 60 While thefe the Combat's direful arts difplay, 
 And fhare the bloody fortunes of the day, 
 Each Hero fat, revolting in his foul 
 The various means that might his foe controul ; 
 Conqucft and Glory each proud bofom warms, 
 
 65 When, lo ! the Herald fummons them to arms. 
 
 THE 
 
 V. 57. And he whofe Clog, &c.\ Here we are prefented with a laud- 
 able imitation of the ancient Simplicity of manners ; for, as Cincinnatus 
 difdained not the homely employment of a Ploughman, fo we fee our 
 Hero condefcending to the humble occupation of a Clog-maker -, and 
 this is the more to be admired, as it is one characteristic of Modern 
 Heroifm, to be either above or below any occupation at all. 
 
 V. 58. ichofe artificial Light ,] Various and violent have been the con- 
 troversies, whether our Author here intended to celebrate a Lamp-lighter, 
 or a Link- boy -, but as there are Heroes of both capacities at prefent in 
 the School of Honour, it is difficult to determine, whether the Poet 
 alludes to a Wells, or a Buckhorfe.
 
 C 71 ] 
 
 BOOK II. 
 
 TJ4RST, to the Fight, advanc'd the Charioteer : 
 
 High hopes of glory on his brow appear ; 
 Terror vindictive flames from his eye, 
 (To one the Fates the vifual ray deny) ; 
 5 Fierce glow'd his looks, which fpoke his inward rage ; 
 He leaps the bar, and bounds upon the ftage. 
 The roofs re-eccho with exulting cries, 
 And all behold him with admiring eyes. 
 Ill-fated Youth ! what rafh defires could warm 
 io Thy manly heart, to dare the Tr itori s arm ? 
 Ah ! too unequal to thefe martial deeds, 
 
 Tho' none more (kill'd to rule the foaming Steeds. 
 
 L The 
 
 V. 6, j. He leaps the bar> &c. ^ See the defcriptions of Dares in 
 The roofs re-eccho \ Virgil. 
 
 Nee mora, continuo vajlis cum viribus effert 
 Or a Dares, magnoque virumfe murmure tollii.
 
 THE 
 
 ARGUMENT 
 
 OF THE 
 
 SECOND BOOK. 
 
 STEPHENSON enters the Lifts •> a defcription of his Figure ; an en- 
 comium on his Abilities, with refpect to the character of Coachman. 
 Broughton advances ; his reverend Form defcribed; his fuperior fkill 
 in the management of the Lighter and Wherry difplay'd ; his triumph 
 of the Badge celebrated ; his Speech ; his former Victories recounted j 
 the preparation for the Combat, and the horror of the Spectators.* 
 
 * Argument.] It was doubtlefs in obedience to cuftom, and the example of other great 
 Poets, that our Author has thought proper to prefix an Argument to each Book, being 
 
 minded that nothing mould be wanting in the ufual Paraphernalia of works of this kind. For 
 
 my own part, I am at a lofs to account for the ufe of them, unlefs it be to fwell a Volume 
 or, like bills of fare, to advertife the Reader what he is to expect ; that, if it contains nothino- 
 likely to fuit his tafte, he may prefcrve his appetite for the next courfe.
 
 I n ] 
 
 BOOK II. 
 
 THIRST, to the Fight, advanc'd the Charioteer : 
 
 High hopes of glory on his brow appear ; 
 Terror vindictive flafhes from his eye, 
 (To one the Fates the vifual ray deny) ; 
 5 Fierce glow'd his looks, which fpoke his inward rage ; 
 He leaps the bar, and bounds upon the ftage. 
 The roofs re-eccho with exulting cries, 
 And all behold him with admiring eyes. 
 Ill-fated Youth ! what rafh defires could warm 
 io Thy manly heart, to dare the Triton s arm ? 
 Ah ! too unequal to thefe martial deeds, 
 Tho' none more fkill'd to rule the foaming Steeds. 
 
 L The 
 
 V. 6, 7. He leaps the bar, &c. ^ See the defcriptions of Dares in 
 The roofs re-eccho C Virgil. 
 
 Nee mora, continuo vaftis cum viribus eff'ert 
 Or a Dares, magnoque virumfc murmure toll it.
 
 74 THE GYMNASIA D, 
 
 The Couriers, ftill obedient to thy rein,. 
 
 Now urge their flight, or now their flight reftrain, 
 
 15 Had mighty Diomed provok'd the Race, 
 
 Thou far had'ft left the Grecian in difgrace, 
 Where-e'er you drove, each Inn confefs'd your fway,. 
 Maids brought the dram, and Oftlers flew with hayv 
 But know, tho' fkill'd to guide the rapid Car, 
 
 20 None wages like thy foe the Manual War. 
 
 Now Neptimei Offspring dreadfully ferene, ; 
 Of fize p-iaantic, and tremendous mien, 
 Steps forth, and 'midft the fated Lifts appears ; 
 Rev'rcnd his form, but yet not worn with years,. 
 25 To him none equal, in his youthful day, 
 With feather' d Oar to fkim the liquid way ; 
 
 Or 
 
 V. 19. But know, tho Jkiird] Here our Author inculcates a fine moral, 
 by mowing how apt Men are to miftake their talents ; but were Men 
 only to act in their proper fpheres, how often mould we fee the Par/on 
 in the pew of the Pcafant, the Author in the character of his Hawker, or 
 a Beau in the livery of his Footman ! ccc.
 
 AN EPIC POEM. 75 
 
 Or thro' thofe freights whofe waters (tun the ear, 
 The loaded Lighter's bulky weight to fleer. 
 Soon as the Ring their ancient Warrior view'd, 
 30 Joy fill'd their hearts, and thund'ring fliouts arfu'd ; 
 Loud as when o'er Thamcjii gentle flood, 
 Superior with the Triton Youths he row'd ; 
 While far a-head his winged Wherry flew, 
 Touch'd the glad fhore, and claim'd the Badge its due. 
 
 35 Then thus indignant he accofts the Foe, 
 
 (While high Difdain Hit prideful on his brow :) 
 
 Long has the laurel-wreath victorious fpread 
 
 Its facred honours round this hoary head ; 
 
 V. 34. the Badge its due.] A Prize given by Mr. Dogget, to be an- 
 nually contefied on the firft of Auguft. As, among the Ancients, Games 
 
 and Sports were celebrated on mournful as well as joyful events, there 
 has been fome controverfy, whether our loyal Comedian meant the com- 
 pliment to the fetting or riling Monarch of that day ; but, as the Plate 
 has a horfe for its device, I am induced to impute it to ihe latter; and, 
 doubtlefs, he prudently confidered, that, as a living dog is better than A 
 dead lion, the living horfc had, at lead, an equal title to the famQ pre- 
 ference.
 
 76 THE G Y M N A S I A D, 
 
 The prize of conqueft in each doubtful fray,, 
 40 And dear reward of many a dire-fought day. 
 
 Now Youth's cold wane the vig'rous pulfe has chas'd,. 
 
 Froze all my blood, and ev'ry nerve unbrac'd ; 
 
 Now, from thefe temples mail the fpoils be torn, 
 
 In fcornful triumph by my Foe be worn ? 
 45 What then avail my various deeds in arms, 
 
 If this proud creft thy feeble force difarms ?• 
 
 Loft be my glories to recording Fame, 
 
 When, foil'd by Thee, the Coward blafts my name \. 
 
 I, who e'er Manhood my young joints had knit, 
 50 Firft taught the fierce Gnettonius to fubmit ; 
 
 While, drench' d in blood, he profcrate prefs'd the floor, 
 
 And inly groan'd the fatal words 710 more. 
 
 Al~ 
 
 V. 42. Froze all my blood,] See Virgil. 
 
 Sed enim gelidus tarda?ite JbteBa 
 
 Sanguis hebet y Jrigentqua eff'eeta in cor pore vires. 
 
 V. 50. Fierce Grettonius to fubmit 5] Gretton, die moft famous Ath- 
 leta in his days, over whom our Hero obtained his maiden prize.
 
 AN EPIC POEM. ?7 
 
 Jlllenius too, who ev'ry heart difmay'd, 
 
 Whofe blows, like hail, flew rattling round the head • 
 
 55 Him oft the Ring heheld with weeping eyes, 
 
 Stretch'd on the ground,, reluclant yield the prize. 
 
 Then fell the Swa'ui^ with whom none e'er could vie 
 
 Where Harrow's fteeple darts into the fky. 
 
 Next the bold Youth a bleeding victim lay, 
 
 60 Whofe waving curls the Barber's art difplay. 
 
 You 
 V. 53. Alkniut too, qjc] Vulgarly known by the Plebeian name of 
 Pipes, which a learned Critic will have to be derived from the art and 
 
 myftery of 'Pipe '-making, in which it is affirmed this Hero was an adept. 
 
 As he v/as the delicium pugnacis generis, our Author, with marvellous 
 judgement, reprefents the Iling weeping at his defeat. 
 
 V. 54. Whofe blows, like hail, &c] Virgil. 
 
 quam mult a grandine nimbi 
 
 Culminibus crepitant . 
 
 V. $j. -Then fell the Swain,] Jeojfrey Birch, who, in feveral en- 
 counters, ferved only to augment the number of our Hero's triumphs. 
 
 V. 59. Next the bold Tout h] As this Champicn u iiill living, and even 
 difputes the palm of manhood with our]: himfelf, I mall leave 
 him to be the fubjecl of Immortality in.fome future G . ; , fliouid 
 
 the fuperiority of his prowefs ever jultify his title to the Corona j
 
 7 S THE G Y M N A S I A D. 
 
 You too this arm's tremendous prowefs know ; 
 Rafh Man, to make this arm again thy foe ! 
 
 This faid the Heroes for the Fight prepare, 
 
 Brace their big limbs, and brawny bodies bare. 
 
 65 The fturdy finews all agnail behold, 
 And ample fhoulders of Atlean mould ; 
 Like Titans offspring, who 'gainft Heaven ftrove, 
 So each, tho' mortal, feem'd a match for Jove. 
 Now round the ring a filent horror reigns, 
 
 70 Spcechlefs each tongue, and bloodlefs all their veins ; 
 When, lo ! the Champions give the dreadful fign, 
 And hand in hand in friendly token join ; 
 Thofe iron hands, which foon upon the foe 
 With giant-force muft deal the deathful blow. 
 
 V. 63. This faid, &c] Virgil. 
 
 Hcecfatus, duplicem ex Humeris rejecit AmiBum ; 
 Et magnos Membrorum Artus, magna ofj'a lacertofque 
 Exuit.
 
 T H E 
 
 ARGUMENT 
 
 O 1 THE 
 
 THIRD BOOK. 
 
 A Defcription of the Battle ; Stephen/on is vanquished ; the manner of 
 his Body being carried oft' by his Friends ; Broughton claims the 
 Prize, and takes his final leave of the Stage..
 
 C *» ] 
 
 BOOK III. 
 
 [~p U L L in the centre now they fix in form, 
 Eye meeting eye, and arm oppos'd to arm ; 
 With wily feints each other now provoke, 
 And cautious meditate th' impending ftroke. 
 5 Th' impatient Youth, infpir'd by hopes of fame, 
 Firft fped his arm, unfaithful to its aim ; 
 The wary Warrior, watchful of his Foe, 
 Bends back, and 'fcapes the death-defigning blow ; 
 With erring glance it founded by his ear, 
 10 And whizzing, fpent its idle force in air. 
 
 M Then 
 
 V. 7, 8 . ■ ■ watchful of his Foe, 
 
 Bends back, and 'fcapes the death-defigning bk 
 
 tile iSium venientem a vertice velox 
 
 Pravidit, celerique elapfus corpore cej/it. 
 
 V. 10. its idle force in air.] Idem. 
 
 1 ■ vires in ventum cfj'udit 
 
 •«,', J Vir s il
 
 82 THE GYMNASIA D, 
 
 Then quick advancing on th' unguarded head, 
 A dreadful fhow'r of thunderbolts he filed : 
 As when a Whirlwind, from fome cavern broke, 
 With furious blafts aflaults the monarch Oak, 
 i 5 This way and that its lofty top it bends, 
 
 And the fierce ftorm the crackling branches rends ; 
 So wav'd the head, and now to left and right 
 Rebounding flies, and crafh'd beneath the weight. 
 
 Like the young Lion wounded by a dart, 
 20 Whofe fury kindles at the galling fmart ; 
 The Hero rouzes with redoubled rage, 
 Flies on his Foe, and foams upon the ftage. 
 
 Now 
 
 V. 19. Like the young Lion] It may be obferved, that our Author has 
 treated the Reader but with one fimile throughout the two foregoing 
 Books, but, in order to make him ample amends, has given him no lefs 
 than fix in this. Doubtlefs this was in imitation of Homer, and art- 
 fully intended to heighten the dignity of the main action, as well as our 
 admiration, towards the conclulion of his work. — Finis coronat Opus.
 
 AN EPIC POEM. 8; 
 
 Now grappling, both in clofe contention join, 
 Legs lock in legs, and arms in arms entwine : 
 
 25 They fweat, they heave, each tugging nerve they ftrain ; 
 Both, fix'd as oaks, their fturdy trunks fuftain. 
 At length the Chief his wily art difplay'd, 
 Poiz'd on his hip the haplefs Youth he laid ; 
 Aloft in air his quiv'ring limbs he throw'd, 
 
 30 Then on the ground down danVd the pond'rous load. 
 So fome vaft Ruin on a mountain's brow, 
 Which tott'ring hangs, and dreadful nods below, 
 When the fierce tempeft the foundation rends, 
 Whirl'd thro' the air with horrid crufh dcfccnds. 
 
 35 Bold and undaunted up the Hero rofe, 
 
 Fiercer his bofom for the Combat glows ; 
 
 M 2 Shame 
 
 V. 24. Arms in arms entwine •,] Virgil. 
 
 Immifcentque manus manibus, fugnamque hicefjiint, 
 
 V. 35. Bold and undaunted, &c.\ Virgil. 
 
 At non tardatus cafu, neque territus Heros, 
 Acrior ad pugnam redit, 6? vimfufcitat ira. 
 Turn pitdor incendit vires
 
 84 THE GYMNASIA D, 
 
 Shame flung his manly heart, and fiery rage 
 
 New fteel'd each nerve, redoubled war to wage* 
 
 Swift to revenge the dire difgrace he flies,. 
 40 Again fufpended on the hip he lies ; 
 
 Daftfd on the ground, again had fatal fell, 
 
 Haply the barrier caught his flying heel ; 
 
 There faft it hung, th' imprifon'd head gave way, 
 
 And the ftrong arm defrauded of its prey. 
 45 Vain ftrove the Chief to whirl the mountain o'er ; 
 
 It ilipt he headlong rattles on the floor. 
 
 Around 
 
 V. 42. Haply the barrier, &c] Our Author, like Homer himfelf, 
 is no lefs to be admired in the character of an Hiftorian than in that of 
 a Poet : we fee him here faithfully reciting the mofl minute incidents 
 of the Battle, and informing us, that the youthful Hero, being on the 
 Lock, mu ft again inevitably have come to the ground, had not his heel 
 catched the Bar ; and that his Antagonift, by the violence of his {train- 
 ing, ilipt his arm over his head, and by that means received the fall he 
 intended the Enemy. 1 thought it incumbent on me as a Commen- 
 tator to fay thus much, to illuflrate the meaning of our Author, which 
 might feem a little obfeure to thofe who are unacquainted with con- 
 iiids of this kind.
 
 AN EPIC POEM. 85 
 
 Around the ring loud peals of thunder rife, , 
 And fhouts exultant eccho to the fkies. 
 
 Uplifted now inanimate he feems, 
 50 Forth from his noftrils gufh the purple ftreams ; 
 Gafping for breath, and impotent of hand, 
 The Youth beheld his Rival ftagg'ring frand : 
 But he, alas ! had felt th' unnerving blow, 
 And gaz'd, unable to affault the Foe, 
 55 As when two Monarchs of the brindled breed 
 Difpute the proud dominion of the mead, 
 s They fight, they foam, then weary'd in the fray, 
 Aloof retreat, and low'ring ftand at bay ; 
 
 V. 48. eccho to tbejkies, &c] Virgil. 
 // clamor ccelo 
 
 So 
 
 The learned Reader will perceive our Author's frequent allufions to 
 Virgil : and whether he intended them as Tranflations or Imitations of 
 the Roman Poet, muit give us paufe : but as, in our modern productions, 
 we find Imitations are generally nothing more than bad Tranflations^ 
 and tranflations nothing more than bad Imitations -, it would equally, 
 I fuppofe, fatisfy the gall of the Critic, iliould theft unluckily fall 
 wichin either defcriDtion.
 
 86 THE GYMNASIA D, 
 
 So flood the Heroes, and indignant glar'd, 
 60 While grim with blood their rueful fronts were fmear'd ; 
 Till with returning ftrength new rage returns, 
 Again their arms are fleel'd, again each bofom burns. 
 
 IncefTant now their hollow fides they pound, 
 
 Loud on each breaft the bounding bangs refound ; 
 65 Their flying fifts around the temples glow, 
 
 And the jaws crackle with the maily blow. 
 
 The raging Combat evVy eye appalls, 
 
 Strokes following ftrokes, and falls fucceeding falls. 
 
 Now droop' d the Youth, yet, urging all his might, 
 70 With feeble arm ftill vindicates the Fight, 
 
 Till on the part where heav'd the panting breath, 
 
 A fatal blow imprefs'd the feal of death. 
 
 Down 
 
 V. 63. Incejfant now, &c] Virgil. 
 
 Mult a viri ncquicquam i?ite?'fe vulnerajadtant : 
 Mult a cavo lateri ingeminant , & peBore vajlos 
 Dant fori it us , err at que aures & tempora cirewn 
 Crebra manus : duro crepita?itfub vulnere ?nala.
 
 AN EPIC POEM. 87 
 
 Down dropt the Hero, welt'ring in his gore, 
 And his ftretch'd limbs lay quiv'ring on the floor. 
 
 75 So, when a Falcon flams the airy way, 
 
 Stoops from the clouds, and pounces on his prey ; 
 Dafli'd on the earth the feather'd Viclim lies, 
 Expands its feeble wings, and, flutt'ring, dies. 
 His faithful Friends their dying Hero rear'd, 
 
 80 O'er his broad moulders dangling hung his head ; 
 Dragging its limbs, they bear the body forth, 
 Mafh'd teeth and clotted blood came iffuing from his 
 mouth. 
 
 Thus then the Viclor O celeftial PowV I 
 
 Who gave this arm to boaft one triumph more ; 
 
 Now 
 
 V. 79. His faithful Friends'] Virgil. 
 
 Aft ilium fidi JEquales, genua agra trahentem, 
 faftantemque utroque caput, crajfumque cruorem 
 Ore rejefiantem, miftofque in f anguine dentes, 
 Ducunt ad naves
 
 88 THE GYMNASIA D. 
 
 85 Now grey in glory, let my labours ceafe, 
 
 My blood- ftain'd Laurel wed the branch of Peace ; 
 Lur'd by the luftre of the golden Prize, 
 No more in Combat this proud creft fhall rife ; 
 To future Heroes future deeds belong, 
 
 90 Be mine the theme of fome immortal fong. 
 
 This faid — he feiz'd the prize, while round the ring, 
 High foar'd Applaufe on Acclamation's wing. 
 
 V. 88. No more in Combat, &c] Idem. 
 
 . hie ViSior c<?Jius, artemque repono. 
 
 THE END.
 
 HONOUR: 
 
 A. 
 
 SATIRE. 
 
 Written in 1747. 
 
 Primores populi arripuit populumque tributim ; 
 Scilicet uni cequus virtuti at que ejus amicis. 
 
 H 
 
 OR, 
 
 N
 
 I I J 
 
 
 - 
 
 / r
 
 HONOUR. 
 
 <c OAD, load the Pallet, Boy L" hark ! Hogarth cries, 
 
 " Faft as I paint, fre£h fwarms of Fools arife ! 
 " Groups rife on groups, and mock the Pencil's pow'r, 
 lc To catch each new-blown folly of the hour." 
 
 While hum 'rous Hogarth paints each Folly dead, 
 Shall Vice triumphant rear its hydra head? 
 At Satire's fov' reign nod difdain to Ihrink ? 
 New reams of paper, and frefli floods of ink ! 
 On then, my Mufe ! Herculean labours dare* 
 And wage with Virtue's foes eternal war ; 
 Range thro' the Town in fearch of ev'ry ill, 
 And cleanfe xtislugean Stable with thy quilL 
 
 N 2 " But
 
 92 H O N O U R, 
 
 " But what avails the poignance of the fong, 
 
 1 Since all, you cry, ftill perfevere in wrong ? 
 
 1 Would courtly crimes to Mulgrave's* Mufe fubmit ? 
 
 1 Or blufh'd the Monarch tho' a WiLMorf writ ? 
 
 c Still pandar Peers difgrac'd the rooms of State, 
 
 1 Still Ccefar\ bed fuftain'd a foreign weight ; 
 
 ' Slaves worfhipp'd ftill the golden Calf of Pow'r, 
 
 1 And Bifhops, bowing, blefs'd the Scarlet Whore. 
 
 1 Shall then thy Verfe the guilty Great reclaim, 
 
 c Tho' fraught with Dry den's heav n-defcended flame ? 
 
 ' Will harpy Heathcote, from his mould'ring (tore, 
 
 1 Drag forth one chearing drachma to the poor ? 
 
 £ Or Harrington, unfaithful to the Seal, 
 
 c Throw in one fuftrage for the Public Weal ? 
 
 c Pointlcfs all Satire, and mifplac'd its aim, 
 
 ' To wound the bofom, that's obdur'd to fhame : 
 
 4 The callous heart ne'er feels the goad within; 
 
 4 Few dread the cenlure, who can dare the fin. 
 
 Tho 1 
 
 * Author ^Horace's Art of Poetry, and afterwards Duke of 'Buckingham, 
 -f Earl of Rochefter.
 
 A SATIR E. 
 
 Tho' on the Culprit's check no blufh fhould glow, 
 Still let me mark him to Mankind a foe : 
 Strike but the deer, however flight the wound, 
 It ferves at leaft to drive him from the found. 
 Shall reptile linners frowning Juftice fear, 
 And pageant Titles privilege the Peer ? 
 So falls the humbler game in common fields, 
 While the branch'd beaft the royal foreft fhields. 
 On, Satire, then ! purfue thy gen'rous plan, 
 And wind the vice, regardlefs of the Man. 
 Rouze, rouze 1 th' ennobled Herd for public fport, 
 And hunt them thro' the covert of a Court. 
 
 Juft as the Play'r the mimic portrait draws, 
 All claim a right of cenfure or applaufe : 
 What guards the Place-man from an equal fate, 
 Who mounts but Adlor on the Stage of State ? 
 Subject alike to each Man's praife and blame, 
 Each critic voice xhzfat of his fame ; 
 
 93 
 
 t 
 i t 
 
 Tho'
 
 94 HONOUR, 
 
 Tho' to the private fome refpect we pay, 
 All public characters are public prey : 
 Pelham and Garrick, let the verfe forbear 
 What fan&ifies the Treafurer or Play?\ 
 
 Great in her laurel'd Sages Athe7is fee, 
 Free flow'd her Satire while her Sons were free : 
 Then purpled guilt was dragg'd to public fliamej 
 And each offence flood flagrant with a name ; 
 Polluted Ermine no refpedl could win, 
 No hallow' d Lawn could fanclify a fln ; 
 'Till tyrant Pow'r ufurp'd a lawlefs rule : 
 Then facred grew the titled Knave and Fool ; 
 Then penal Statutes aw'd the poignant Song, 
 And Slaves were taught, that Kings could do no Wrong* 
 
 Guilt flill is guilt, to me, in Slave or King, 
 Fetter'd in Cells, or garter'd in the Ring : 
 
 And
 
 A S A T I R E. 95 
 
 And yet behold how various the reward, 
 Wild falls a Felon, Walpole* mounts a Lord ! 
 The little Knave the Law's laft tribute pays, 
 While Crowns around the great One's chariot blaze. 
 Blaze, meteors, blaze ! to me is ftill the fame 
 The Cart of Juftice, or the Coach of Shame. 
 
 Say, what's Nobility, ye gilded Train ! 
 Does Nature give it, or can Guilt fuftain ? 
 Blooms the form fairer, if the birth be high ; 
 Or takes the vital ftream a richer dye ? 
 What ! tho' a long Patrician line ye claim, 
 Are noble fouls entail'd upon a name ? 
 Anjlis may ermine out the lordly earth, 
 Virtue's the herald that proclaims its w r orth. 
 
 Hence mark the radiance of a Stanhope's fhr, 
 
 And glow-worm glitter of thine, D***r : Ig- 
 
 - 
 
 * Though the perfon here meant has indeed paid the debt of Nature, 
 yet, as he left that of Juftice unfatisfied, the Author apprehends that the 
 Public are indifputably entitled to the ailets of his reputation.
 
 96 HONOUR, 
 
 Ignoble fplendor ! that but fhines to all, 
 The humble badge of a Court Hofpital. 
 Let lofty L**R wave his nodding plume, 
 Boaft all the blufhing honours of the loom> 
 Refplendent bondage no regard can bring,. 
 'Tis Methuens heart mult dignify the fixing; 
 
 Vice levels all, however high or low ;: 
 And all the difference but confifts in fhow.. 
 Who afks an alms, or fupplicates a Place,, 
 Alike is beggar, tho' in rags or lace :. 
 Alike his Country's fcandal and its curfe, 
 Who vends a Vote, or who purloins a purfe j 
 Thy Gamblers, Bridewell, and St. James's Bites, 
 The Rooks of Mordington^ and Sharks at Whites, 
 
 ■ ' Why will you urge, Eugemo cries, your fate ? 
 f* Affords the Town no fins but fins of State? 
 # < Perches Vice only on the Court's high hill ? 
 " Or yields Life's vale no quarry for the quill ?" 
 
 Manners
 
 A S A T I R E, 97 
 
 Manners, like fafhions, ftill from Courts defcend, 
 
 And what the Great begin, the Vulgar end. 
 
 If vicious then the mode, correct it here ; 
 
 He faves the Peafant, who reforms the Peer. 
 
 What Hounjlow Knight would ftray from Honour's path, 
 
 If guided by a Brother of the Bath f 
 
 Honour's a miftrefs all mankind purfue ; 
 Yet moft miftake the falfe one for the true : 
 Lur'd by the trappings, dazzled by the paint, 
 We worfhip oft the Idol for the Saint. 
 Courted by all, by few the Fair is won ; 
 Thofe lofe who feek her, and thole gain who mun :, 
 Naked me flies to Merit in diftrefs, 
 And leaves to Courts the garnifh of her drefs. 
 
 The million'd Merchant feeks her in his Gold ; 
 In Schools the Pedant, and in Camps the Bold : 
 
 O The
 
 98 H O N O IT R, 
 
 The Courtier views her, with admiring eyes, 
 Flutter in Ribbons, or in Titles rife : 
 Sir Epicene enjoys her in his Plume ; 
 Mead, in the learned Wainfcot of a Room : 
 By various ways ^all woo the modeft Maid ; 
 Yet lofe the fubftance, grafping at the fhade. 
 
 Who, fmil.ing r fees not with what various ftrife 
 Man blindly runs the giddy maze of life ? 
 To the fame end ftill diff 'rent means employs ; 
 This builds a Church, a Temple That deftroys J 
 Both anxious to obtain a deathlefs name, 
 Yet, erring, both miftake Report for Fame. 
 
 Report, tho' vulture-like the name it bear,. 
 Drags but the carrion carcafs thro' the air ; 
 While Fame> Jove's nobler bird, fuperior flies, 
 And, foaring, mounts the mortal to the fkies. 
 
 So
 
 A SATIRE. 99 
 
 So Richard's* name to diftant ages borne, 
 Unhappy Richard ftill is Britain s fcorn : 
 Be Edward's wafted on Fames eagle wing, 
 Each Patriot mourns the long-departed King ; 
 Yet thine, O Edward ! mall to GEORGK'sf yield, 
 And Dettmge?i eclipfe a CreJJys field. 
 
 Thro' Life's wild Ocean, who would fafely roam, 
 And bring the golden fleece of Glory home, 
 Muft, heedful, fhun the barking Scyllas roar, 
 And fell Charybdis* all-devouring fhore ; 
 With fteady helm an equal courfe fupport, 
 'Twixt Faction's rocks, and quickfands of a Court , 
 By Virtue's beacon ftill direct his aim, 
 Thro' Honour's channel, to the port of Fame. 
 
 Yet, on this fca, how all mankind are toft ! 
 For one that's fav'd, what multitudes are loft I 
 
 Mif- 
 
 * Richard the Second, «f* George the Second,
 
 ioo HONOUR, 
 
 Mifguided by Ambitions treacrfrous light, 
 Thro' want of {kill, few make the harbour right. 
 
 Hence mark what wrecks of Virtue, Friendmip, Fame, 
 For four dead letters added to a name ! 
 Whence dwells fuch Syren Mufic in a word, 
 Or founds not Brutus noble as My Lord ? 
 Tho' crownets, Pult'ney, blazon on thy plate, 
 Adds the bafe mark one fcruple to its weight ? 
 Tho' founds Patrician fwell thy name, O Sandys!: 
 Stretches one acre thy Plebeian Lands ? 
 Say, the proud title meant to plume the Son,. 
 Why gain by guilt, what Virtue might have won ? 
 Vain fhall the Son his herald honours trace, 
 Whofe Parent Peers but Patriot in difgrace. 
 
 Vain, on the folemn head of hoary age, 
 Totters the Mitre, if Ambitions rage 
 To mammon Pow'r the hallow' d heart incline, 
 And Titles only mark the Pricjl divine. Bleft
 
 A SATIRE. 
 
 Blefl race ! to whom the golden age remains, 
 Eafe without care, and plenty without pains : 
 For you the earth tin-labour d treafure yields, 
 And the rich fheaves fpontaneous crown the fields ; 
 No toilfome dews pollute the rev'rend brow, 
 Each holy hand unharden'd by the plough ; 
 Still burft the ficred garners with their ftore # 
 And flails, unceafing, thunder on the floor* 
 
 O bounteous Heav'n ! yet Heaven how feldom fhares 
 The titheful tribute of the Prelates pray'rs ! 
 Loft to the Stall, in Senates ftill they nod r 
 And all the Moiiarch fteals them from the God : 
 Thy praifes, Brunswick, every breaft infpirc, 
 The Throne their Altar, and the Court their Choir ; 
 Here earlier! incenfe they devoutly bring, 
 Here everlafting Hallelujahs fing : 
 
 Thou ! only Thou ! almighty to tranjlat^ 
 
 Thou their great golden Deity of State. 
 
 ici 
 
 Who
 
 ic2 HONOUR, 
 
 Who fecks on Merit's (lock to graft fuccefs, 
 In vain invokes the ray of Pow'r to blefs ; 
 The ftcm, too ftubborn for the courtly foil, 
 With barren branches mocks the virtuous toil. 
 More pliant plants the royal regions fuit, 
 Where Knowledge ftill is held forbidden fruit \ 
 'Tis thefe alone the kindly nurture fhare, 
 And all Hefperids golden treafures bear. 
 
 Let Folly ftill be Fortune's fondling heir, 
 And Science meet a ftep-dame in the Fair. 
 Let Courts, like Fortune, difinherit Senfe, 
 And take the idiot charge from Providence. 
 The idiot head the cap and bells may fit, 
 But how difguife a Lyttelton and Pitt ! 
 
 O ! once-lov'd Youths ! Britannia's blooming hope, 
 7 air Freedom's twins, and once the theme of Pope - y 
 it wond'ring Senates on your accents hung, 
 z Flattery's poifon chill'd the patriot tongue ! 
 
 Rome's
 
 A SATIRE. 
 
 Rome's facred thunder awes no more the ear ; 
 But Pelham fmiles, who trembled once to hear. 
 
 Say, whence this change ? lefs galling is the chain, 
 Tho' Walpole, Carteret, or a Pelham reign ? 
 If Senates ftill the pois'nous bane imbibe, 
 And every palm grows callous with the bribe ; 
 If Sev'n long Years mature the venal voice, 
 While Freedom mourns her long-defrauded choice ; 
 If Juftice waves o'er Fraud a lenient hand, 
 And the red Locuft rages thro' the land. 
 
 Sunk in thefe bonds, to Britain what avails. 
 Who wields her Sword, or balances her Scales ? 
 Veer round the compafs, change to change fucceed. 
 By every Son the Mother now muft bleed : 
 Vain all her hofts, on foreign fhores array 'd, 
 Tho' loft by Went worth, or preferv'd by Wade, 
 
 103 
 
 Fleets
 
 i04 HONOUR, 
 
 Fleets, once which fpread thro 1 diftant worlds her name ! 
 
 Now ride inglorious trophies of her fhame j* 
 
 While fading laurels fhadc her drooping head, 
 
 And mark her Burleighs, Blakes, and Marlbro's dead ! 
 
 Such were thy Sons, O happy Isle ! of old, 
 In counfel prudent, and in action bold : 
 Now view a Pelham puzzling o'er thy fate, 
 Loft in the maze of a perplex' d debate ; 
 And fage Newcastle, with fraternal fkill, 
 Guard the nice conduct of a Nation's quill : 
 See Truncheons trembling in the Coward hand, 
 Tho' bold Rebellion half fubdue the land ; 
 While Ocean's God, indignant, wrefts again 
 
 The long-deputed Trident of the Main.-f* Sleep 
 
 * Alluding to the ever-memorable No-Fight in the Mediterranean : 
 As the Nation was unluckily the only victim on that occaiion, the lenity 
 of our Aquarian Judicature has, I think, evidently proved, that a Court- 
 Martial and a Martial-Court are by no means fynonymous terms. 
 
 •f- The Reader will readily conclude thefe lines were written before 
 our worthy Admirals Anson and Warren had fo eminently diftin- 
 guiflied themfelves in the fervice of their Country,
 
 A SATIRE, 105 
 
 Sleep our loft Heroes in the filent tomb ? 
 Why fpring no future Worthies from the womb ? 
 Not Nature fure, fmce Nature's ftill the fame, 
 But Education bars the road to Fame. 
 Who hopes for Wifdom's crop, muft till the foul, 
 And Virtue's early leflbn mould controul : 
 To the young breaft who Valour would impart, 
 Muft plant it by example in the heart. 
 
 Ere Britain fell to Mimic Modes a prey, 
 And took the foreign polijlj of our day, 
 Train'd to the Martial labours of the field, 
 Our Youth were taught the mafly fpear to wield ; 
 In halcyon Peace, beneath whofe downy wings 
 The Merchant fmiles, and lab'ring Peafant fings, 
 With Civil arts to guard their Country's caufe, 
 Direct her counfels, and defend her laws : 
 Hence a long race of ancient Worthies rofc, 
 Adorn'd the land, and triumph'd o'er our foe;. 
 
 P Ye
 
 io6 HONOUR, 
 
 Ye iacred Shades ! who thro* th' Elyfian grove, 
 With Rome's farn'd Chiefs, and Grecian Sages rove, 
 Blum to behold what arts your offspring grace ! 
 Each fopling Heir now marks his Sire's diigrace ; 
 An embrio breed ! of fuch a doubtful frame, 
 You fcarce could know the fex but by the name : 
 Fraught with the native follies of his home, 
 Torn from the nurfe, the Babe of Birth mufl f cam ; 
 Thro' foreign climes exotic vice explore, 
 And cull each weed, regardlefs of the flow'r, 
 Proud of thy fpoils, O Italy and France ! 
 The foft enervate ftrain, and cap'ring dance i 
 From Stquaris ftreams, and winding banks of Po, 
 He comes* ye Gods ! an all-accomplifVd Beau ! 
 Unhunlaniz'd in drefs, with cheek fo wan ! 
 He mocks God's iiriage in the Mimic Man ; 
 Great Judge of Arts ! o'er toilettes iiow prefidesj 
 Corrects our fafhions, or an Op'ra guides \ 
 
 Frorri
 
 A SATIRE, 107 
 
 From Tyrant Handel rends th' Imperial bay, 
 And guards the Magna Charta of — Sol-fa. 
 
 Sick of a land where Virtue dwells no more* 
 
 See Liberty* prepar'd to quit our ftrore ! 
 
 Pruning her pinions, on yon beacon' d height 
 
 The Goddefs (lands, and meditates her flight ; 
 
 Now fpreads her wings, unwilling yet to fly, 
 
 Again o'er Britain cafts a pitying eye : 
 
 Loath to depart, methinks I hear her fay, 
 
 cc Why urge me thus j ungrateful Isle, away I 
 
 " For you, I left Acbaias happy plains,. 
 
 " For you, refign'd my Romans to their chains - y 
 
 " Here fondly flx'd my laft lov'd favourite feat, 
 
 cc And 'midft the mighty nations made Thee great : 
 
 Why 
 
 * Thefe lines and fentiments are very prophetic ; but WHITEHEAD never 
 lived to fee his darling Liberty take, her flight to America.— His compliment 
 to the Earl o/'Chesterpield is fraught with truth ; and all his Lord/hip's 
 private letters and opinions feelingly defcribe the fate andfall of thefe Kingdoms.
 
 io8 HONOUR. 
 
 " Why urge me the;t y ungrateful Isle, away f" 
 
 Again (he, fighing, fays, or feems to fay. 
 
 O Stanhope !* flcnTd in evVy moving art, 
 That charms the ear, or captivates the heart ! 
 Be your's the tafk, the Goddefs to retain, 
 And call her Parent Virtue back again; 
 Improve your powr a finking land to fave, 
 And vindicate the Servant from the Slave : 
 O ! teach the vaffal Courtier how to mare 
 The Royal favour with the Public pray'r : 
 Like Latiums GENiusf ftem thy Country's doom, 
 And, tho' a Cesar fmile, remember Rome ; 
 With all the Patriot dignify the Place y 
 And prove at leaft one Statefman may have grace, 
 
 * Earl of Chesterfield. + Brutus. 
 
 THE END,
 
 A N 
 
 EPISTLE 
 
 T O 
 
 DOCTOR THOMPSON. 
 
 Publiflied in 1751. 
 
 Sed quia mente minus validus y quam cor fore toto^ 
 
 Nil audire velim> nil difcere> quod levet cegru?n y 
 
 Fidis offender medicis. Hor.
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 *~ ""^HE Reader will perceive, from two or three pafTages m 
 the following Epiftle, that it was written fome time 
 fince ; nor indeed would the whole of it have now been 
 thought interefting enough to the Public, to have pafled the 
 Prefs, had not the Phyfical Perfecution, carried on againft 
 the Gentleman* to whom it is addreffed, provoked the Pub- 
 lication. When a Body of Men, too proud to own their 
 
 errors, 
 
 * T. he celebrated Dr. Thompson was one of the Phyfcians ^Frederick, 
 Prince of Wales, in that diforder which ended his life. Upon that occaficr.. 
 the Doctor differed from all the Phyfcians thai attended his Highnefs, which 
 brought upon him their mojl virulent rage and indignation ; for the Prince 
 dying, the world was inclined to favour Doclor Thompson'; recommendations , 
 He was an intimate Friend of Mr. P. Whitehead, and a favourite with 
 him at the Prince s Court. He was a Man of a peculiar character ; but 
 learned, fngular, and ingenuous.
 
 I II2 ] 
 
 errors ) and too prudent to part with their fees, {hall (with their 
 Legions of Underftrappers) enter into a confpiracy againft a 
 Brother-Practitioner, only for honejlly endeavouring to 
 
 moderate the one, and rectify the other ; fuch a Body, our 
 
 Author apprehends, becomes a justifiable object of Satire ; 
 
 and only wifhes his pen had, on this occalion, a like killing 
 
 efficacy with theirs.
 
 A N 
 
 EPISTLE 
 
 T O 
 
 DOCTOR THOMPSON. 
 
 W 7HY do you afk, " that in this courtly dance, 
 
 " Of In and Out, it ne'er was yet my chance, 
 " To bafk beneath a Statefman's foft'ring fmile, 
 " And fliare the plunder of the Public Spoil ?" 
 
 E'er wants my table the health-chearing meal. 
 With Banflead Mutton crown'd, or EJfex Veal ? 
 Smokes not from Lincoln meads the (lately Loin, 
 Or rofy Gammon of Hanto?iian Swine ? 
 From Darki?i\ roofts the Feather'd victims bleed. 
 And Thames ftill wafts me Ocean's fcalv Breed, 
 
 Q^ Tho'
 
 iT 4 AN EPI8TL E 
 
 Tho' Gafttd\ Vines their coftly juice deny. 
 Still Tajo's* "bariks the jocund giafs fupply; 
 Still diftant worlds neclareous treafures roll, 
 And either India fparkles in my bowL; 
 Or Devon s boughs, or Dorfefs bearded fields^ 
 To Britain* arms a Britifh beverage yields. 
 
 Rich in thefe gifts, why fhould I wifli for more? 
 Why barter confeience for fupe'rfluous ftore ? 
 Or hatmt the levee of a purfe-proud Peer, 
 To rob poor Fielding of the Curule chair ?f 
 
 Let 
 
 '* The Tagus — a principal river of Portugal, famous for golden fands. 
 Qua Tagus aur if eris pallet turbatus arenis. Sil. xvi. 559. 
 
 •f It is reported, that during the time Mr. Addison was Secretary of 
 State, when his old Friend and Ally Ambrose Phillips applied to him 
 for fome preferment, the Great Man very coolly anfwered, that " He 
 il thought he had already provided for him, by making him Juftice for 
 '«« Weftminll:er.' , To which the Bard, with fome indignation, replied, 
 " Though Poetry was a trade he could not live by, yet he fcorned to 
 « f owe his fubfiftance to another, which he ought not to live by."' < 
 Ho-vever Great Men, in our days, may pra&ife the Secretary's prudence, 
 :n it is, the Perfon here pointed at was very far from making a 
 :e ient of his Brother Poet's principles.
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. 115 
 
 Let the lean Bard, whofe belly, void of bread, 
 
 Puffs up Pierian vapours to his head, 
 
 In Birth-day Odes his flimfy fuftian vent, 
 
 And torture truth into a compliment ; 
 Wear out the knocker of a Great-Man's door, 
 
 Be Pimp and Poet, furnifti Rhime or Whore y 
 Or fetch and carry for fome foolifh Lord, 
 To fneak — a Sitting Footman at his board. 
 If fuch the arts that captivate the Great, 
 Be yours, ye Bards ! the fun-ftiine of a State ; 
 For Place or Penfion proftitute each line ; 
 Make Gods of Kings, and Minifters divine ; 
 Swear St. yohns felf could neither read nor write, 
 And * * *+ out-bra voes Mars in fight \ 
 
 Call 
 
 •j* It is apprehended, our modern Campaigns cannot fail of furniming 
 
 the Reader with a proper fupply for this paffage.- As thefe Gentlemen 
 
 were fuppofed to be of the Tory Party, the Duke ^Cumberland is the 
 General meant here, who in 1 745 acledfo well again fl the Rebels,
 
 ,i6" A N ' E ' P I STL E 
 
 Call Dorset Patriot, Wjlles* a Legal tool, 
 HoRACEf a Wit, and Dodington a Fool. 
 Such be your venal talk ; whilft, bleft with eafe, 
 'Tis mine, to fcribble when, and what I pleafe. 
 
 " Hold ! what you pleafe ? (Sir D**y cries) my Friend, 
 Cl Say, muft my labours never, never end ? 
 iC Still doom'd 'gainft wicked wit my pen to draw, 
 
 Correct each Bard by critic rules of Law ; 
 
 'Twixt Guilt and Shame the legal buckler place, 
 
 And guard each courtly Culprit from difgrace ? 
 
 c< 
 
 *C 
 
 tC 
 
 <( 
 
 Hard 
 
 * Lord High Admiral Willes— a title, by which this excellent 
 Chief Magiftrate is often diftinguifhed among our Marine, for his fpirited 
 vindication of the fupremacy of the Civil Flag, and rectifying the 
 Martial mijiakes of fome late Naval Tribunals. 
 
 ■f- A certain Modern of that name, whofe fole pretention to this cha- 
 racter (except a little arch Buffoonery) confifts in a truly Poetical neg- 
 ligence of his Perfon.
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. n 7 
 c< Hard tafk ! fhould future Jurymen inherit 
 " The City-Twelve's felf-judging BritUh fpirit.' 1 * 
 
 While You, my Thompson ! fpite of Med'cine fave, 
 Mark how the College peoples every Grave ! 
 See Mead transfer Eftates from Sire to Son, 
 And * * bar fuccefTion to a Throne \\ 
 
 See 
 
 * Alluding to the conftitutional Verdict, given on the Trial of Wil- 
 liam Owen, for publishing " Ihe Cafe of the Honourable Alexander 
 Murray, Efq . ' a pamphlet written by P. Whitehead. 
 
 •f This line furnifhes. a melancholy memento of the mod fatal cata- 
 flrophe that perhaps ever befel this nation. Among the various tributary 
 verfes which flowed on that occafion, our Author wrote the following ; 
 and which he here takes the liberty to infert, being willing to feize every 
 opportunity, to perpetuate his fenfe of our public lofs, in the death of 
 that truly Patriot Prince, Frederick. 
 
 When Jove, late revolving the fate of Mankind, 
 *Mong Britons no traces of Virtue could find, 
 O'er the If and, indignant, he firetch'd forth his rod ; 
 Earth trembled, and Ocean acknowledg d the God.|| 
 
 Still 
 
 Alluding to the preceding Earthquakes, in 1750.
 
 n8 AN EPISTLE 
 
 See Shaw fcarce leave the paiTing-bell a Fee, 
 And N**'s fet the captive hufband free ! 
 Tho' widow'd Julia giggles in her weed, 
 Yet who arraigns the Doctor for the deed ? 
 O'er Life and Death all abfolute his will, 
 Right the Prefcription, whether cure or kill. 
 
 Not fo, — whofe Practice is the Mind's difeafe ^ 
 His Potion muft not only cure, but pleafe : 
 Apply the Cauftic to the callous heart,. 
 Undone' s the Doctor, if the Patient fmart £ 
 Superior Pow'rs his mental Bill controul, 
 And Law corrects the Phyfic of the Soul.* 
 
 Shall 
 
 Still provok'd by cur crimes, Heaven s vengeance to /how, 
 Ammon, grafping his bolts, aimd at Britain the blow -, 
 
 But paufing more dreadful, his wrath to evince, 
 
 Threw the thunder ajide, andfent Fate for the Prince. 
 
 * A like correction, with regard to the Phyfic of the Body, might 
 prove no bad fecurity for the Life and Property of the Patient, as the 
 Faculty are at prefent accountable to no other Power but that of Heaven, 
 
 for
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON, rig 
 
 Shall Galen s Sons with privilege deftroy, 
 And I not one found Alt'rative employ, 
 To drive the rank diftemper from within ? 
 Or is Man's Life lefs precious than his Sin ? 
 
 With palfied hand fhould Juftice hold the fcale P 
 And o'er a Judge court-complaifance prevail, 
 Satire's ftrong dofe the malady requires : 
 I write*— when, lo ! the Bench indignant fires ; 
 Each hoary head eredts its Load of Hair ; 
 Their Furs all brittle, and their Eye-balls glare ; 
 In rage they roar, " With rev'rend Ermine fport 1 
 * c Seize ! feize him, Tipftaff!— 'Tis Contempt of Court/ 1 
 
 Led 
 
 for the re&itude of their conduct, — And perhaps no civilifed Nation can 
 afford fuch an inftance of Phyfical Anarchy as ours, where the Surgeon is 
 permitted to ufurp the province of the Phyfician, and the Apothecary 
 
 plumes himfelf in the Perriwig and Plunder of both profeflions. In a 
 
 public-fpirited endeavour to cure this Anarchy, and reftorc a proper dii- 
 
 cipline in practice, confifls a Thompson's Empiricifm. Sine i!l<r 
 
 lachryma* ■
 
 120 AN EPISTLE 
 
 Led by the meteor of a Mitre's ray, 
 If Sions Sons thro' paths unhallow'd ftray, 
 For courtly Rites neglect each rubric Rule, 
 Quit all the Saint, and truckle all the Tool ; 
 Their Maker only in the Monarch fee, 
 Nor e'er omit, at Brunswick's name, the Knee ; 
 To cure this loyal Lethargy of Grace, 
 And roufe to Heav'n again its recreant race, 
 Say ! mould the Mufe^ with one irrev'rend line, 
 Probe but the mortal part of the Divine ; 
 'Tis Blafphemy, by ev'ry Prieft decreed ! 
 No Benefit of Clergy may I plead ; 
 With every Cannon* pointed at my head, 
 Alive I'm cenfur'd, and I'm damn'd when dead. 
 
 Lawyer 
 
 * A certain piece of Spiritual Ordnance, which was formerly played 
 off with great execution by our Church-militant ; but at prefent no other- 
 wife terrible, than in its fulminating explofion.
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. 121 
 
 Lawyer and Prieft, like Doctors, ftill agree ; 
 'Tis theirs to give advice ; 'tis ours, the Fee : 
 To them alone all earthly rule is giv'n, 
 Diploma' d from St. James's, and from Heav?u 
 
 Yet ills there are, nor Bench, nor Pulpit reach ; 
 In vain may Ryder charge, or Sherlock preach \ 
 for Law too mighty, and too proud for Grace, 
 Lurk in the Star, or lord it in a Place ; 
 Brood in the facred circle of a Crown, 
 While Fafhion wafts their poifon thro' the Town t 
 Hence o'er each Village the contagion wings, 
 And Peafants catch the maladies of Kings. 
 
 When purpled Vice fhall humble JufHce awe, 
 And Fafhion make it current, fpite of Law ; 
 What fovereign Med'cine can its courfe reclaim ? 
 
 What, but the Poet's Panacea Shame ! 
 
 R Thus
 
 122 AN EPISTLE 
 
 Thus Wit's great Efculapius* once prcvarl'd, 
 And Satire triumph'd, where the Fafces fail'd : 
 No Conful's wreath could lurking Folly hide, 
 No VePcal looks fecure the guilty Bride : 
 The poignant Verfe piere'd thro' each fair difguife, 
 And made Homes Matrons modeft, Statefmen wife. 
 
 Search all your Statutes, Serjeant ! where' s the balm 
 Can cure the itching of a Courtier's palm ? 
 Where the chafte Canon, fay, thou hallow'd Sage, 
 The Virgin's glowing wifhes can affuage ? 
 Let but the Star his longing Lordfhip fee, 
 What pow'r can fet the captive Confcience free r 
 Hang but the fparkling Pendant at her ears, 
 What trembling Maid the gen'rous Lover fears ? 
 
 Whi 
 
 * Horatius Flaccus,
 
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. * 2 j 
 
 When lawlefs pafiion feiz'd th' Imperial Dame,j| 
 Brothels f were only found, to quench the flame ; 
 No Routs, or Balls, the kind convenience gave, 
 To lofe her Virtue, yet her Honour fave. 
 In Cupid's Rites, now, fo improv'd our fkill, 
 Mode finds the means, when Nature finds the will. 
 Each rev'rend Relict keeps a private pack, 
 And fturdy Stallion with Atlea?i back ; 
 Where BritiJJj Dames to myftic rites repair, 
 Nor fail to meet a lurking Chdio there ; 
 In amorous ftealths defraud the public Stews, 
 And rob the Drury Veftal of her dues ; 
 Who haplefs mourns her laft, long-mortgag'd Gown, 
 While Douglafs% damns the Drums of Lady Brown. 
 
 By 
 
 Pompeia, Confort to Julius Caefar, ivhom the young Claudius took 
 i opportunity of /educing at afolemnfacrifice of the Bona Dea. 
 
 •f Intravit calidum veteri centone Iupanar, Juv, 
 
 % An infamous, famous Bazi'd.
 
 9 ? - 
 
 124 AN EPISTLE 
 
 By names celeftial, mortal Females call j 
 Angels they are, but Angels in their fall. 
 One Royal Pfaemx* yet redeems the race, 
 And proves, in Britain* Beauty may have Grace. -f- 
 
 Vain (hall the Mufe the various fymptoms find* 
 When every Doctor's of a different mind. 
 In * *'s palm, be foul Corruption found, 
 Each Court-empiric holds, his Grace is found;. 
 In Sackville'sJ breaft let Public Spirit reign, 
 Blifters ! (they cry) the caufe is in his brain ; 
 So, Talbot's want of Place is want of Senfe, 
 And Dashwood's§ ftubborn Virtue, downright Infolence. 
 
 When- 
 
 • Princess of Wales, Mother of his prefent Majefiy George III. 
 
 4» At this time the Princefs was graceful, and her amability had rendered 
 her unherfal praife : perhaps this Country never made, at one period, fo 
 mam dedications to one Royal Perfonage ; and, had her Highnefs avoided the 
 Butean party, fie might havejlid through the Vale of Life with one continued 
 bappyfmile. 
 
 \ See a Propofal for a Militia, publiflied by Lord Middlefex. 
 
 § Sir Francis Dafhwood, now Lord Le Defpenfer, the Patron and Pro- 
 teclor of our Author.
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. 125 
 
 When ills are thus juft what the Doctors pleafe, 
 And the Soul's health is held the Mind's difeafe ; 
 Not all thy art, O Horace ! had prevail'd ; 
 Here, all thy Roman recipes* had fail'd. 
 
 Had Fate to Flaccu's but our days decreed, 
 What Pollio would admire ? what Ccefar read ? 
 Great Maro\-\ felf had dy'd an humble fwain, 
 And Terence fought a Lcelius now in vain. 
 Science no more employs the Courtier's care, 
 No Mufes voice can charm Northumberland's ear. 
 The folid Vote aerial Verfe outweighs, 
 And wins all courtly favour from the Bays 9 
 Hence flow alone the facred gifts of Kings, 
 Staves, Truncheons, Feathers, Mitres, Stars, and Strings, 
 
 Hence Cradles, fee ! with lifping State fmen (pawn, 
 And Infant limbs befwaddled in the Lawn ; 
 
 Wtifc 
 
 * Satires. \ Virgil,
 
 ti 6 A N E PISTLE 
 
 While honcft Boyle,'* too impotent for Place, ' 
 
 Sets, in meridian glory of Difgrace : 
 
 Nor all the patriot mufic of Malone 
 
 Can charm a Court, like Sackville, or like Stone ; 
 
 Bleft Twins of State ! whom love and pow'r conjoin, 
 
 Like Ledas offspring, made by Jove divine ; 
 
 Fix'd in Hibernian hemifphere to rule, 
 
 And fhed your influence o'er each Knave and Fool.f 
 
 Whilft the fad fummons of the Mortar's knell 
 The rival deeds of each Diploma tell ; 
 And Death's increafing mufter-rolls declare, 
 That Health and Thompson are no longer here; 
 How fhall the Mufe this falutation fend ? 
 What place enjoys Thee ? or what happier Friend ? 
 
 Say, 
 
 * Lord Orrery. 
 
 ■f As our Author lamented the occafion of thefe lines, fo no one more 
 
 lincerely rejoices to find, that the Beam of Public Spirit is likely to dif- 
 
 pel the Clouds which had interpofed between Loyalty and Patriotifm — 
 
 A new political Star in our days, and which fome more Eaftern Magi 
 
 would do well to follow.
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. 127 
 
 Say, if in Eajlbury\% majeftic towers, 
 Or wrapt in xljhley%\ amarantine bowers, 
 By Friendfliip favour'd, and unaw'd by State, 
 You barter Science with the Wife and Great ; 
 O'er Pelham's Politics in judgment fit, 
 Reform the Laws of Nations, or of Wit ;; 
 With Attic zeft enrich the focial bowl, 
 Crack joke on joke, and mingle foul with foul; 
 On Laughter's wanton wing now frolic fport, 
 Nor envy Fox* the clofet of a Court, 
 
 Loft in this darling luxury of Eafe, 
 Alike regardlefs both of Fame and Fees, 
 " Let Shaw (you cry) o'er Phyfic fov'reign reign, 
 cc Or W * * boaft his hecatombs of flain : 
 
 J' A feat belonging to the Right Hon. George Dodinctow 
 || Another, belonging to Lord Middlesex, 
 * Lord Holland* 
 
 IV
 
 i28 AN EPISTLE 
 
 u Be mine, to flay fome Friend's departing breath, 
 
 " And Child's* may take the Drudgery of Death. " 
 
 Yet, Thompson ! fay (whofe gift it is to fave, 
 Make Sicknefs fmile, and refcue from the grave) 
 Sav, to what end this healing pow'r was meant ? 
 Nor hide the talent, which by Heav'n is lent. 
 Tho' Envy all her hilling ferpents raife, 
 And join with harpy Fraud to hlaft thy bays ; 
 Shall wan Difeafe in vain demand thy {kill, 
 While Health but waits the fummons of your quill ? 
 Shall Egypt's Plaguef the Virgin cheek invade, 
 And Beauty's wreck not win Thee to its aid ? 
 
 O! 
 
 * A Coffee-houfe noted for the refort of our modern Efciilapics, where 
 they ply for thofe Patients the Apothecary is pleafed to confign over to 
 them ; and where another Appendage to Phyfic (called the Undertakers) 
 never fails to attend the Phyfical Levee* in order to receive the lucrative 
 news of their joint-endeavours. 
 
 , -f The Small-pox, faid to have firft appeared at Alexandria. See the 
 Doctor's Treatife on this diftemper.
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. 129 
 
 O ! ftretch a faving hand, and let the Fair 
 
 Owe all her future triumphs to thy care ; 
 
 Refume the Pen ! and be Thyfelf, once more, 
 
 What Ratcliff, Friend, and Syd'nham were before, 
 
 Yet, when reviving Patients fet you free, 
 Let Vaughan* yield one focial hour to me. 
 Come then, my Friend ! if Friendship's name can woo, 
 Come ! bring me all I want, that all in You. 
 If rural fcenes have ftill the pow'r to pleafe, 
 Flocks, vallies, hills, ftreams, villas, cots, and trees ; 
 Here all in one harmonious profpeel: blend, 
 And landfcapes rife, fcarce Lambert's-}- art can mend. 
 
 S Thames, 
 
 * Owen Evan Vaughan, Efq; of Bodidris caftle j a Gentleman, in 
 whofe friendfhip the Doctor and our Author more particularly pride them- 
 felves, as he has never polluted his ancient Britifh pedigree with any 
 modern Anti-Britijh principles. 
 
 •f* A handjeape-painter t much celebrated.
 
 i 3 o AN EPISTLE 
 
 Thames, made immortal by her Denham's ftrains, 
 MeancTring glides thro' Twick'nham's flow'ry plains ; 
 While Royal Richmond's cloud-afpiring wood 
 Pours all its pendent pomp upon the flood. 
 By Rome's proud dames let ftoried Tiber flow, 
 And all Palladio grace the banks of Po ; 
 Here Nature's charms in purer luftre rife, 
 Nor feek from wanton Art her vain fupplies* 
 
 Lo ! Windfor^ rev' rend in a length of years, 
 Like Cybele, her tow'r-crown'd fummit rears ; 
 And Hamptons turrets, with majeftic pride, 
 Reflect their glories in the palling tide : 
 There Britifi Henries gave to Gallia law ; 
 Here bloom'd the laurels of a great Najfau.* 
 O ! could thefe fcenes one Monarch more but pleafe, 
 No frozen climates, no tempeftuous feas, 
 
 * William the Third. 
 
 For
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. r 3 « 
 
 For Brunjwick\* weal alarming fears mould brino-, 
 Nor Britain envy meaner Courts her King. 
 
 Here Campbell's+ varied fhades with wonder fee, 
 Like Heav'n's own Eden, ftor'd with every tree ; 
 
 Each plant with plant in verdant glory vies ; 
 
 ? 
 
 High-tow' ring pines, like Titans, fcale the fkies ; > 
 
 And Lebanon* rich groves on Hounflows deferts rife. ^ 
 
 But chief — with awful ftep, O ! let us ftray, 
 Where Britain* Orpheus tun'd his facred lay, 
 Whofe Grove enchanted from his numbers grew, 
 And proves, what once was fabled, now is true. 
 Here oft the Bard with Arbuthnot retir'd ; 
 
 Here flow'd the verfe his Healing Art infpir'd :% 
 
 Alike 
 
 * It was the fajhion to bewail the Kings attachment to his native 
 Hanover; and yet we can fee Scotfmen fond of a clime raw, barren, bare, 
 becaufe the place of their nativity. 
 
 ■f- Duke of Argyle, celebrated as a Warrior and a Stat l efm 
 
 % Pope's Epiftle to Arbuthnot.
 
 f 3 2 AN EPISTLE 
 
 Alike thy merit like thy fame mould rife, 
 Could Friendmip give, what feeble Art denies •< 
 Tho' Pope's immortal verfe the Gods refufe, 
 Accept this off 'ring from an humbler Mufe. 
 Weak tho' her flight, yet honeft foil her foam, 
 And what no Miniftcr could ever gain ; 
 Pleas'd if the grateful tribute of her fong, 
 Thy merit, Thompson ! fhall one day prolong. 
 
 In marflial'd Slaves let hungry Princes trade, 
 And Britain s bullion bribe their venal aid ;* 
 Let brave Boscawen trophied honours gain, 
 And Anson wield the Trident of the Main. 
 
 Safe, 
 
 * Alluding to a modern kind of Military Traffic, which confifls in the 
 exchange of Britifi gold for German valour; and by which means, it is 
 prefumed, our Politicians intend the native wants of either party fhall be 
 reciprocally fupplied.
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. 133 
 
 Safe, in the harbour of my Twtck'namf bower, 
 From all the wrecks of State, or ftorms of Power ; 
 No Wreaths I court, no Subfidies I claim, 
 Too rich for want, too indolent for fame. 
 Whilft here with Vice a bloodlefs war I wage, 
 Or lafh the follies of a trifling age, 
 Each gay-plum'd Hour, upon its downy wings, 
 The Hybla freight of rich Contentment brings ; 
 Health, rofy handmaid, at my table waits, 
 And halcyon Peace broods watchful o'er my gates. 
 
 Here oft, on Contemplatio?i\ pinion bore, 
 To Heav'n I mount, and Nature's works explore \ 
 Or, led by Reaforis intellectual clue, 
 Thro' Error's maze, Truth's fecret fteps purfue ; 
 
 View 
 
 -f He had a neat villa, in the Jlyle of a Chateau, en the north fide of 
 
 Twickenham Common, facred to the Mitfes. It is at prcjbit inhabited by the 
 
 fenfible and Ihely Lady Bridget Tallmach, Daughter of the late Lord 
 
 NORTHINGTON.
 
 i 3 4 AN EPISTLE 
 
 View ages paft in Story $ mirror fhown, 
 
 And make Time's mould'ring treafurcs all my own ; 
 
 Or here the Mufe now fteals me from the throng, 
 
 And wraps me in th' enchantment of her forig. 
 
 Thus flow, and thus for ever flow ! my days, 
 Unaw'd by Cenfure, or unbrib'd by Praife ; 
 No friend to Faction, and no dupe to Zeal ; 
 Foe to all party, but the Public WeaL 
 Why then, from every venal bondage free, 
 Courts have no glitt'ring fhackles left for me : 
 My reafons, Thompson ! prithee afk no more ; 
 Take them, as Oxford's Flaccus fung before.* 
 
 " My eafe and freedom if for aught I vend, 
 
 " Would not you cry, To Bedlam, Bedlam, Friend ! 
 
 " But to fpeak out — fhall what could ne'er engage 
 
 u My frailer youth, now captivate in age ? 
 
 « What 
 
 * See conclufion of Dr. King's Apology.
 
 TO DOCTOR THOMPSON. 135 
 
 cc What cares can vex, what terrors frightful be, 
 " To him whofe fhield is hoary Sixty-three ?* 
 " When life itfelf fo little worth appears, 
 " That Minifters can give no hopes, or fears ; 
 " Altho' grown grey within my humbler gate, 
 " I ne'er kifs'd Hands, or trod the rooms of State ; 
 " Yet not unhonour'd have I liv'd, and bleft 
 " With rich convenience, care lefs of the reft; 
 c< What boon more grateful can the Gods beftow 
 " On thofe avow'd their favourite fons below ?"f 
 
 * Though the Tranik tor's virtue is not yet fecured by this palladium 
 of his Grand Climacteric, yet he flatters himfelf he mall at leaft be able 
 to rival our truly Roman Author, in the practice of his heroic Indiffe- 
 rence, however fhort he may fall of him in his elegant Defcription of it. 
 
 -f Libera fi pretio quant ovis otia vendam, 
 Cui non infanus videar ? Scd apertius audi : 
 Qua juvenem, infirmumque animi c apt are ncquibant, 
 Illafenem capiant f aut qua terrere pcricla 
 Poffe putes hominem, cui dimadlericus annus 
 Prajidio ejl otmii majus f cui vita videtur 
 
 II I
 
 136 AN EPISTLE, &c, 
 
 Hand equidem tanti effe, ut quid caveatve petatvc 
 A regni fair apis y ullaquejit anxius bora. 
 Si mihi non dextram tetigij'e, aut limina regum 
 Contigit, & larefub tenui mea canuit cetas : 
 Attamen aquo animo, non ullis rebus egenus, 
 Non inhonoratus vixi: Neque gratius ufquam 
 Dii munus dederunt, cui ji favijfefatentur. 
 
 THE END.
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES, 
 
 c
 
 O N G, 
 
 :h: L 
 
 I. 
 "\/"E Belles, and ye Flirts, and ye per: little T 
 
 Who trio in this frolic: 
 Prithee tell me from whence this indc 
 
 The iexei ..: :::cj re : n :u:;d : 
 W h a : m : a n s the Cock'd Hi:, an d the mafculir. ; 
 
 Wirh e:. . :i de:;^n'd : 
 
 Bright eves wefc intended :? languifh, no: (tare, 
 
 And foftnefs the tefl f jour fc D. 
 
 And f of. ?t tef: 
 
 -
 
 i 4 o MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 
 
 II. 
 
 The girl, who on beauty depends for fupport, 
 
 May call ev'ry art to her aid ; 
 The Bofom difplay'd, and the Petticoat ftiort, 
 
 Are famples fhe gives of her trade : 
 But you, on whom Fortune indulgently fmilcs, 
 
 And whom Pride has preferv'd from the fnare, 
 Should flily attack us with coynefs and wiles, 
 
 Not with open and infolent air, Brave Girls, 
 
 Not with, &c* 
 III. 
 
 The Venus, whofe ftatue delights all mankind, 
 
 Shrinks modeftly back from the view, 
 And kindly fhou'd feem by the artift dcfign'd 
 
 To ferve as a model for you : 
 Then learn with her beauties to copy her air, 
 
 Nor venture too much to reveal ; 
 Our fancies will paint what you cover with care, 
 
 And double each charm you conceal, Sweet Girls, 
 
 And double ) &c,
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. c + t 
 
 IV. 
 
 The bluiiics of Morn, and the mildnefs of May, 
 
 Are charms which no art can procure : 
 Oh { be but yourfelves, and our homage we'll pay, 
 
 And your empire is folid and fure : 
 But if, Amazon-like, you attack your Gallants, 
 
 And put us in fear of our lives, 
 You may do very well for Sifters and Aunts, 
 
 But, believe me, you'll never be Wives, Poor Girls, 
 
 Believe me, &c.
 
 ■jiii jmimmiii mm 1 111 in i* mi minwTTrnrn nrwtrrfrrwTwmi 
 
 A NEW 
 
 OCCASIONAL SONG, 
 
 As performed by Mr. Beard in the character of a Recruiting Serjeant, 
 at the Theatre-Royal in Covent-Garden, in the Entertainment of 
 The Fair, 
 
 I 
 
 L 
 
 N ftory we're told 
 How our Monarchs of old 
 O'er France fpread their royal domain ; 
 But no annals friall fhow 
 Her pride laid fo low, 
 As when brave George the Second did reign, 
 
 Brave Boys ! 
 As when brave^ &*c. 
 
 of
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. i 43 
 
 II. 
 
 Of Roman and Greek 
 Let Fame no more fpeak ; 
 Tho' their arms did the Old World fubduc, 
 Through the nations around 
 Let her trumpet now found, 
 How Britons have conquer'd the New, 
 
 Brave Boys ! 
 How Britons have, &c* 
 
 III. 
 
 Eaft, Weft, North, and South, 
 
 Our cannons loud mouth 
 Shall the rights of our Monarch maintain ; 
 
 On Americas ftrand 
 
 Amherst limits the Land, 
 Boscawen gives law on the Main, Brave Boys ! 
 
 Bos c a wen gives ^ @V. 
 
 Each
 
 i 4 4 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 
 
 IV. 
 
 Each fort, and each town, 
 
 We ftill make our own, 
 Cape Br£ton, Crown Point, Niagar \ 
 
 Gicardelupe, Senegal, 
 
 And §{uebec\ mighty fall, 
 Shall prove we've no equal in war, Brave Boys ! 
 
 Shall prove we ve, &c, 
 
 V. 
 Though Conflans did boafl: 
 He wou'd conquer our coaft, 
 Our thunder foon made Monfleur mute ; 
 Brave Hawke wing'd his way, 
 Then pounc'd on his prey, 
 And gave him an Englijh falute, Brave Boys ! 
 
 And gave him , &C. 
 
 While
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES, 145 
 
 vi. 
 
 At Mindtri ydti kriovv 
 
 How we frighteft'd the foe, 
 While homeward their army now deals, 
 
 " Though," they ery, " Britifi bands 
 
 " Are too hard for our hands, 
 " Begar ! we^ b£at them- in- Heels, Parbleu I 
 
 Begar ! we % &c. 
 
 VII. 
 
 Whilft our Heroes from home 
 
 For laurels thus roam, 
 Should the Flat-bottom'd Boats but appear, 
 
 Our Militia fhall mow 
 
 No wooden-fhoed foe 
 Can with Freemen in battle compare, Brave boys ! 
 
 Can with Freemen ', &c. 
 
 U Your
 
 146 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Your Fortunes and Lives, 
 Your Children and Wives, 
 To defend, 'tis the time now or never : 
 Then let each Volunteer 
 To the Drum-head repair — 
 King George and Old England for ever! 
 
 Brave Boys ! 
 King George, <§Pa
 
 +^mr*ammmmmmmmmmm*wr*wnmmm*Bmm *[M m ju i v m. mwiau.WLi«^ 
 
 S O N G, 
 
 Sung by Mr. Beard in the Entertainment of Apollo and Dap 
 
 I. 
 
 ' | ^HE fun from the Eaft tips the mountains with gold \ 
 The meadows all fpangled with dew-drops behold ! 
 Hear ! the lark's early matin proclaims the new day, 
 And the Horn's chearful fummons rebukes our delay. 
 
 CHORUS, 
 
 With the f ports of the Field there s no pleafure can vye^ 
 While jocund we fellow the Hounds in full cry. 
 
 II. 
 
 Let the Drudge of the Town make Riches his (port ; 
 The Slave of the State hunt the fmiles of a Court ; 
 
 N 
 
 .,
 
 i 4 8 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 
 
 Nq care and ambition our paftime annoy, 
 But innocence (till gives a zeft to our joy. 
 
 With the /ports, &c. 
 
 MI. 
 
 Mankind are all hunters in various degree ; 
 The Prieft hunts a Living — the Lawyer a Fee, 
 The Doctor a Patient — the Courtier a Place, 
 Though often, like us, he's flung-out in the chace. 
 
 With the /ports, Wc. 
 
 IV. 
 
 The Cit hunts, a Plumb — while the Soldier hunts Fame, 
 The Poet a Dinner — the Patriot a Name ; 
 And the pra&is'd Coquette, tho' fhe feems to refufe, 
 In fpite of her arirs, ftill her Lover purfues. 
 
 With the /ports, &c, 
 
 Let
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 149 
 
 V. 
 
 Let the Bold and the Bufy hunt Glory and Wealth ; 
 All the bleffing we afk is the bleffing of Health, 
 With Hound and with Horn thro' the woodlands to roam, 
 And, when tired abroad, find Contentment at home. 
 
 With the /ports of the Field there s no pleafure can vye> 
 While jocund we follow our Hounds in fuU cry.
 
 '• 
 
 • • - 
 
 O N G, 
 
 
 Sunr by Mr. Beard at the Annual Meeting of the Prefident, Vice- 
 Prefidents, Governors, 6cc. of the London Hofpital. 
 
 /^\F Trophies and Laurels I mean not to fing, 
 
 Of PruJJias brave Prince, or of Britain's good King : 
 Here the Poor claim my fong ; then the art I'll difplay, 
 How you all mail be gainers-— by giving away. 
 
 Derry down. 
 
 The crufe of the widow, you very well know, 
 
 The more it was emptied, the fuller did flow : 
 
 So here with your Purfe the like wonder you'll find ; 
 
 The more you draw out > ftill- — the more left behind* 
 
 Derry down. 
 
 ■ 
 The Prodigal here without danger may fpend ; 
 
 That ne'er can be lavifh'd, to Heaven we lend ; 
 
 And
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 151 
 
 And the Mifcr his purfe-ftrings may draw without pain, 
 For what mifer won't give — when giving is Gain ? 
 
 Derry down. 
 
 The Gamefter, who fits up whole days and whole nights. 
 To hazard his health and his fortune at Whites ; 
 Much more to advantage his Betts he may make, 
 Here, fet what he will, he will double his Stake. 
 
 Derry down. 
 
 The Fair-one, whofe heart the Four Aces controul, 
 Who fighs for Sans-prendre, and dreams of a Vole, 
 Let her here fend a tithe of her gains at Quadrille, 
 And fhe'll ne'er want a friend — in victorious Spadilte. 
 
 Derry down. 
 
 Let the Merchant, who trades on the perilous fea. 
 Come here, and infure, if from lofs he'd be free \ 
 A Policy here from all danger fecures, 
 
 For fafe is the Venture — which Heaven . infures. 
 
 Derry down. 
 
 . . . > 
 
 The
 
 I52 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES,! 
 The Stock-jobber too may fubfcribe without fear, 
 In a Fund which for ever a Premium muft bear ; 
 Where the Stock muft ftill rife, and where Scrip will prevail, 
 Tho' South-Sea, and India, and Omnium, mould fail. 
 
 Derry down. 
 
 *The Churchman likewife his advantage may draw*. 
 
 And here buy a Living, in fpite of the Law— 
 
 In Heaven, I mean ; then, without any fear, 
 
 Let him purchafe away — here's no Simony here. 
 
 I u c .... 
 
 Derry down* 
 
 f Ye Rakes, who the joys of Hymen difclaim, 
 And feek, in the ruin of Virtue, a. fame ; 
 You may here boaft a triumph confiftent with duty, 
 And keep, without guilt, a Seraglio of Beauty. 
 
 Derry down* 
 
 
 * Additional Stanza for the Annual Feaft of the Son* of the Clergy, 
 •f Ditto for the Magdalen HofpitaL
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES, 153 
 
 If from Charity then fuch advantages flow, 
 That you ftill gain the more — the more you bellow ; 
 Here's the place will afford you rich profit with cafe : 
 When the Bafon comes round — be as rich as you plcafe. 
 
 Derry down. 
 
 Then a health to that *Patron, whofe grandeur and (lore 
 Yield aid and defence to the Sick and the Poor ; 
 Who no Courtier can flatter, no Patriot can blame : 
 But, our Preiident's here— or Fd tell you his name. 
 
 ID err y di .. .. 
 
 * The late. Duke of Devonfhire. 
 
 X
 
 BALLAD. 
 
 L 
 
 ONG, Roger in vain 
 Strove Cicley to gain, 
 And that Something he wanted flie knew ; 
 Yet ftill flie reply'd, 
 Firft make me your Bride, 
 Or — I wifli I may die if I do. 
 
 Quoth Roger, Next Fair 
 
 I'll deck out your hair 
 With a Top-knot, green, yellow, or blue. 
 
 No Top-knot, pray, bring 
 
 Without the Gold-Ring, 
 Or — I wifli I may die if I do. 
 
 Together
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIE CI 155 
 
 Together one day, 
 
 When making of hay, 
 Pretty Cis on a haycock he threw : 
 
 His hand did intrude ; 
 
 She cry'd, Don't be rude, 
 For-— I wifh I may die if I do. 
 
 But Roger (till preft 
 
 Her lips and her breaft, 
 Until kinder and kinder me grew v 
 
 A glance from her eye 
 
 He faw give the lye 
 To — " I wifh I may die if I do*" 
 
 He knew what it meant, 
 
 Took looks for confent ; 
 Then — a Fairing prefented to view, 
 
 Which Cis fo amaz'd, 
 
 She figh'd while (he gaz'd — 
 Oh ! I furely mall die-- if I do. What
 
 1 5 6 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES, 
 
 What Lovers conceal 
 
 No Mufe mould reveal ; 
 You mull fancy then what did enfue s 
 
 But (he no more cry'd, 
 
 Firft make me your Bride, 
 Or— I wifli I may die if I do. 
 
 Ah ! Roger ! fays Cis* 
 
 A Fairing like this 
 Cannot fail a young Maid to fubdue^: 
 
 No Knot you need bring ; 
 
 Ne'er mind the Gold-Ring, 
 For-— I wim I may die if I do.
 
 FRAGMENT, 
 
 i. 
 
 "W THEN Bacchusy jolly God, invites 
 
 To revel in his evening rites, 
 In vain his altars I furround, 
 Though with Burgandian incenfe crown'd : 
 No charm has Wine without the Lafs ; 
 'Tis Love gives relifh to the Glafs. 
 
 II. 
 
 Whilft all around, with jocund glee, 
 
 In brimmers toaft their favVite She ; 
 Though ev'ry Nymph my lips proclaim, 
 My heart frill whifpers Chloes name ; 
 And thus with me, by amVous ftealth, 
 Still ev'ry glafs is Chloe\ health.
 
 VERSES 
 
 OccafioDed by Lady £qmfret's Prefent cf fomc Antique Statues 
 to Oxford-, the Streets whereof were foolifhly {aid to be paved 
 with Jacobites, 
 
 XF Oxford's Stones, as Blaco writes, 
 And Pitt affirms, are Jacobites, 
 
 That bid the Court defiance ; 
 How mull the danger now increafe, 
 When Stones are come from Rome and Greece, 
 
 To form a grand alliance ! 
 
 Yet, fprung from lands of Liberty, 
 Thefe Stones can fure no Tories be, 
 
 Or friends to the Pretender ; 
 And Pitt himfelf can ne'er devife, 
 That Whiggijh Stones ihould ever rife 
 Againft our Faith's Defender.
 
 , ""*'""* IW ■ "■ ■ ■■ w wmwiMiuuwi i n iwu,, 
 
 T O 
 
 D R KING. 
 
 /^\FT have I heard, with clam'rous note, 
 A yelping Cur exalt his throat 
 At Cynthia 's filver rays ; 
 So, with the blaze of Learning's light, 
 When You, O King, offend his fight, 
 The Spaniel Blaco bays. 
 
 r 
 
 ti !'
 
 T H E 
 
 BUTTERFLY and BE E. 
 
 To F L A V I A-.. 
 
 OEE ! Fi.avia, fee ! that flutt'ring Thing 
 Skim round yon' flower with fportive wing. 
 
 Yet ne'er its fweets explore ; 
 While, wifer, the induftrious Bee 
 Extracts the honey from the tree, 
 
 And hives the precious ftore„. 
 
 So You, with coy, coquettim art,. 
 Play wanton round your Lover's heart 3 
 
 Infcnfible and free : 
 Love's balmy bleffing would you try, 
 No longer fport a Butterfly, 
 
 But imitate the Bee,
 
 VERSES, 
 
 Dropt in Mr. Garrick's Temple of Sbakefpcar e. 
 
 \^7HILE here to Shakefpeare* Garrick pays 
 
 His tributary thanks and praife ; 
 Invokes the animated ftone, 
 To make the Poet's mind his own; 
 That he each character may trace 
 With humour, dignity, and grace ; 
 And mark, unerring mark, to men, 
 The rich creation of his Pen ; 
 
 Preferr'd the pray'r the marble God 
 
 Methinks I fee, affenting, nod, 
 
 Y Am!, 
 
 * The Statue of Shakespeare, in the "Temple dedicated to the Bard 
 by Mr. Garrick, in his delightful Garden at Hampton, was the work of 
 that able and ingenious Majler, Ro u n i L i a c .
 
 1.6-2 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 
 
 And, pointing to his laurell'd brow, 
 
 Cry— " Half this Wreath to you I owe : 
 
 " Loft to the Stage, and loft to Fame \ 
 
 " Murder'd my Scenes, fcarce known my Name ; 
 
 " Sunk in oblivion and difgrace 
 
 " Among the common, fcribbling race, 
 
 cc Unnotic'd long thy Shakefpeare lay, 
 
 fC To Dullnefs, and to Time, a prey : 
 
 " But now I rife, I breathe, I live 
 
 " In You— my Reprefentative ! 
 
 " Again the Hero's breaft I fire, 
 
 " Again the tender figh infpire ; 
 
 " Each fide, again, with laughter make, 
 
 " And teach the villain-heart to quake ; 
 
 " All this, my Son ! again I do — 
 
 " I ? — No, my Son ! — 'Tis I, and You. 
 
 While thus the grateful Statue fpeaks, 
 A blufh o'erfpreads the Suppliant's cheeks — 
 
 " What
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 163 
 
 " What ! — Half this Wreath, Wit's mighty Chief ?- 
 u O grant," he cries, " one fingle Leaf; 
 " That far o'erpays his humble merit, 
 " Who's but the organ of thy fpirit." 
 
 Phoebus the gen'rous conteft heard — 
 When thus the God addrefs'd the Bard : 
 lt Here, take this Laurel from my brow, 
 " On Him your mortal Wreath beftow ; — 
 <c Each matchlefs, each the Palm mail bear, 
 " In Heav'n the Bard, on Earth the Play'r,
 
 U P I D 
 
 BAFFLE D. 
 
 "1 "VI AN A , hunting on a da 
 
 Beheld where Cupid fleeping la] 
 
 His Quiver by his head : 
 One of his Darts {he ftole away, 
 And one of her's did clofe convey 
 
 Into the other's ftead. 
 
 When next the Archer through the erove, 
 
 In fearch of prey, did wanton rove, 
 Awclia fair he d : 
 
 .', who to Damons pra 
 Diidain'd to lend a tender ear. 
 
 And Cupid % pow'r defy'd. 
 
 Soon
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 165 
 Soon as he ey'd the rebel Maid ; 
 " Now know my pow'r !" cnrag'd, he faid ; 
 
 Then levell'd at her heart : 
 Full to the head the fhaft he drew ; 
 But harmlefs to her breafl it flew, 
 
 For, lo ! — 'twas Diaris Dart. 
 
 Exulting, then the Fair-one cry'd, 
 " Fond Urchin, lay your Bow afide; 
 
 " Your Quiver be unbound : 
 cc Would you Atcrelia\ heart fubdue, 
 " Thy play-thing Arrows ne'er will do ; 
 
 " Bid Damon give the wound.
 
 VERSES 
 
 On the Death of the truly Patriot Prince, Frederick; who died 
 
 March 30, 175 1, aged 43. 
 
 W THEN Jove, late revolving the ftate of mankind, 
 'Mong Britons no traces of Virtue could find ; 
 O'er the ifland, indignant, he ftretch'd forth his rod ; 
 Earth trembled, and Ocean acknowledg'd the God.* 
 
 Still provok'd by our crimes, Heaven's vengeance to mow. 
 Amnion, grafping his bolts, aim'd at Britain the blow ; 
 
 But pauiing more dreadful, his wrath to evince, 
 
 Threw thunder afide, and fent Fate for the Prince. 
 
 * Alluding to the preceding Earthquakes, Feb. 8. and March 8, 1750. 
 
 EXTEMPORE on hearing of Mr. Pope's Death. 
 OPE dead ! hum, hufh, Report, the fland'rous lye : 
 Fame fays he lives Immortals never die.
 
 W>W^WW^«W W t *\ V& ".; ' , ' 
 
 E X^J IW inm » l TW tf» 
 
 DEATH and the DOCTOR 
 
 if | ^WIXT Death and Schomberg, t'other day, 
 
 A conteft did arife ; 
 Death fwore his prize he'd bear away • 
 The Dodtor, Death defies. 
 
 Enrag'd to hear his pow'r defy'd, 
 
 Death drew his keeneft dart ; 
 But wond'ring faw it glance afide, 
 
 And mifs the vital part. 
 
 A N
 
 r .r ■;*>- - ~.*^^»^ n>« v »^vg< - -r i 4 < v» K . , ^ g , ?x- ^^'v M ^^&f^».'sr^'»<s»wr« , Hf>»»ir* mmmmmmmr'mmmmttmmKm 
 
 A N 
 
 OCCASIONAL PROLOGUE, 
 
 Spoken by Mr. Powell, at the Opening of the Theatre-Royal in 
 Covent-Garden, on Monday, Sept. 14, 1767. 
 
 S when the Merchant, to increafe his ftore, 
 For dubious feas, advent'rous quits the fhore ; 
 Still anxious for his freight, he trembling fees 
 Rocks in each buoy, and tempefts in each breeze ; 
 The curl in 7 wave to mountain billows fwells, 
 And ev'ry cloud a fancied ftorm foretells : 
 Thus rafhly launch' d on this Theatric main, 
 Our All on board, each phantom gives us pain ; 
 The Catcall's note feems thunder in our ears, 
 And ev'ry Hifs a hurricane appears ; 
 
 In
 
 Miscellaneous pieces. ^9 
 
 In Journal Squibs we lightning's blaft efpy, 
 And meteors blaze in every Critic's eye. 
 
 Spite of thefe terrors, (till ibme hopes we view, 
 Hopes, ne'er can fail us — fince they're plac'ct — in you. 
 Your Breath the gale, our voyage is fecure, 
 And fafe the venture which your Smiles infure ; 
 Though weak his /kill, th' advent'rer muft, fucceed, 
 Where Candour takes th' endeavour for the deed. 
 For Brentford's ftate, two Kings could once fuffice ; 
 In our's, behold ! four Kings of Brentford rife ; 
 All fmelling to one nofegay's od'rous favour, 
 The balmy nofegay of— the Public Favour. 
 From hence alone, xrnr royal funds we draw, 
 Your pleafure our fupport, your will our law. 
 While fuch our Government, we hope you'll own us ; 
 But mould we ever Tyrant prove— dethrone us. 
 
 Like
 
 1 7 o MISCELLANEOUS PIECES, 
 
 Like Brother Monarchs, who, to coax the nation, 
 Beoran their reign, with fome fair Proclamation, 
 We too mould talk at Ieaft — of Reformation ; 
 Declare, that during our Imperial (way, 
 No Bard (hall mourn his long-neglecled Play ; 
 But then the Play muft have fbme wit, fome fpirit, 
 And We allow'd fole umpires of its merit. 
 
 For thofe deep Sages of the judging Pit r 
 Whofe tafte is too refln'd for modern wit,. 
 From Rome's great Theatre we'll cull the piece y 
 And plant, on Britain 's Stage, the flow'rs of Greece. 
 
 If fome there are, our Britijh Bards can pleafe, 
 Who tafte the ancient wit of ancient days, 
 Be our's to fave, from Time's devouring womb, 
 Their works, and fnatch their laurels from the tomb. 
 
 For you, ye Fair, who fprightlier fcenes may chufe, 
 Where Mufic decks in all her airs the Mufc, 
 
 Gay
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. i-i 
 
 Gay Opera mall all its charms difpenfe, 
 Yet boaft no tuneful triumph over Senfe ; 
 The nobler Bard mall ftill aflert his rieht, 
 Nor Handel rob a Shakespeare of his ni^ht, 
 
 To greet their mortal brethren of our fkies, 
 Here all the Gods of Pantomine mail rife : 
 Yet 'midft the pomp and magic of machines, 
 Some plot may mark the meaning of our Scenes ; 
 Scenes which were held, in good King Rich's days, 
 By Sages, no bad Epilogues to Plays. 
 
 If terms like thefe your fuffrage can engage, 
 To fix our mimic Empire of the Stage ; 
 Confirm our title in your fair opinions, 
 And croud each night to people our Dominions.
 
 VERSES 
 
 On converting the Chapel to a Kitchen, at the Seat of the Lord 
 Donnerayle, called The Grove, in Hertfordfljire. 
 
 T) Y Ovid, among other wonders, we're told 
 
 What chane'd to Philemon and Baucis of old ^ 
 How their Cot to a Temple was conjured by Jove? 
 So a Chapel was chang'd to a Kitchen at Grove. 
 
 The Lord of the Manfion moft rightly conceiting, 
 His guefts lov'd good pray'rs much lefs than good eating ; 
 And poffefs'd by the Devil, as fome folks will tell ye, 
 What was meant for the foul, he aflign'd to the belly. 
 
 The word was fcarce giv'n — when down dropp'd the Clock, 
 And ftrait was feen fix'd in the form of a Jack ; 
 And, fhameful to tell ! Pulpit, Benches, and Pews, 
 Form'd Cupboards and Shelves, for Plates, Saucepans, and 
 Stews, Pray'r-
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 173 
 Pray'r-books turned into Platters ; nor think it a fable, 
 A Dreffer fprung out of the Communion-table ; 
 Which, inftead of the ufual repaft, Bread and Wine, 
 Is ftor'd with rich Soups, and good Englijb Sirloin. 
 
 No fire, but what pure devotion could raife, 
 'Till now, had been known in this Temple to blaze : 
 But, good Lord ! how the neighbours around did admire, 
 When a Chimney rofe up in the room of a Spire ! 
 
 For a Jew many people the Mafter miftook, 
 
 Whofe Levites were Scullions, his High-Prieft a Cook ; 
 
 And thought he defign'd our religion to alter, 
 
 When they faw the Burnt-Offering fmoke at the Altar. 
 
 The Bell's folemn found, that was heard far and near, 
 And oft rouz'd the Chaplain unwilling to pray'r, 
 No more to good Sermons now fummons the Sinner, 
 But blafphemous rings in— the Country to Dinner. 
 
 When
 
 i 7 4 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES, 
 When my good Lord the Bifhop had heard the ftrange ftory, 
 How the place was profan'd, that was built to G— 's glory 5 
 Full of zeal he cried out, " Oh, how impious the deed, 
 u To cram Chriftians with Pudding, inftead of the Creed !*" 
 
 Then away to the Grove hied the Church's Protector, 
 Refolving to give his Lay-brother a Lecture; 
 But he fcarce had begun, when he faw, plac'd before 'em, 
 A Haunch piping hot from the S-an&um SanEtorum* 
 
 " 'Troth !" quoth he, " I find no great fin in the plan, 
 " What was ufelefs to God — to make ufeful to Man : 
 u Befides, 'tis a true Chriftian duty, we read, 
 " The Poor and the Hungry with good things to feed." 
 
 Then again on the walls he beftow'd Confe oration, 
 But referv'd the full rights of a free Vifitation : 
 Thus, 'tis ftill the Lord's Houfe — only varied the treat, 
 Now, there's Meat without Grace — where was Grace with- 
 out Meat.
 
 w— MTTM,— Miu.[j„jgp— wwumwm wmiinuimin 
 
 VERSES 
 
 On the Duke of Cumberland's Victory at Cuffaden, in the Year 1746. 
 
 ^ S his worm-eaten volumes old Time tumbled o'er, 
 To review the great actions that happened of yore ; 
 When the names of young Amman and Ccefar he faw,. 
 He to one oppos'd Churchill— to th' other Nassau ; 
 Then faid, with a figh, " What ! has Britai?i no friend ? 
 " With thefe muft her long race of Heroes have end ?." 
 When ftrait a loud blaft on her Trumpet Fame blew, 
 Which fo long had been filent, the found he. fcarce knew ; 
 But foon in his fight the fwift Goddefs appear'd, 
 And, half out of breath, cry'd— " News, News ! have 
 
 " you heard ? — 
 " I yet have one Hero to add to your /tore, 
 " Brave William has conquer'd — Rebellion s no more." 
 Well pleas'd, in his annals Time fet down the name, 
 Made the record authentic,— and gave it to Fame.
 
 VERSES 
 
 Jnfcribed on a Monument called The Tomb of Care, in the Garden of 
 the late John Rich, Efq. at Cowley, in Middle/ex; whereon three 
 beautiful Boys are covering a funeral Urn with a Veil of Flowers, 
 
 T "Y THY, bu fy Boys, why thus entwine 
 
 The flowery veil around this fhrine ? 
 As if, for halcyon days like thefe, 
 The fight too folemn were to pleafe : 
 Miftaken Boys, what fight's fo fair — 
 To mortals, as the Tomb of Care f 
 Here let the gloomy Tyrant lie ; 
 His urn an altar fhall fupply, 
 Sacred to Eafe^ and focial Mirth ; 
 For Cares deceafe — is P/eafure's birth.
 
 THE 
 
 E P I T A P H 
 
 (In Letters of Brafs, inferted by a female Figure reprefenting Hi/lory ) on a 
 Marble Pyramid of the Monument of JOHN, Duke of ARGYLE. 
 
 RITON, behold, if Patriot Worth be dear, 
 
 A fhrine that claims thy tributary tear! 
 
 Silent that tongue admiring Senates heard, 
 
 Nervelefs that arm oppofing Legions fear'd ! 
 
 Nor lefs, O Campbell ! thine the pow'r to pleafe, 
 
 And give to Grandeur all the grace of Eafe. 
 
 Long, from thy life, let kindred Heroes trace 
 
 Arts which ennoble ftill the noblcft race. — 
 
 Others may owe their future fame to Me ; 
 
 I borrow immortality from Thee, 
 
 A a P. Whitehead. 
 
 JVejlminfler Abbey,
 
 T«rirtBaCfc~i3 
 
 VERSES 
 
 On the Name, P. Whitehead, fubfcribed to the above Infcription, 
 being removed thence fome time after the Monument was erected. 
 
 ^"^\ER the Tombs as pale Envy was hov'ring around, 
 
 The Manes of each hallow'd Hero to wound ; 
 On Argyle's, when fTie faw only Truth was related 
 Of Him, whom alive me moft mortally hated, 
 And finding the record adopted by Fame> 
 In revenge to the Poet — me gnaw d out his name* 
 
 VERSES
 
 VERSES 
 
 •To the Memory of Mrs. Pritchard, who died Auguft, 1761, aged 5;, 
 
 fER Comic vein had ev'ry charm to pleafe ; 
 
 'Twas Natures dictates breath' d with Nature 's cafe : 
 E'en when her pow'rs fuftain'd the Tragic load, 
 Full, clear, and juft, th' harmonious accents flow'd ; 
 And the big paffions of her feeling heart 
 Burft freely forth, and fham'd the Mimic Art. 
 Oft on the fcene, with colours not her own, 
 She painted vice, and taught us what to fhun. 
 One virtuous track her real life purfu'd, 
 That nobler part was uniformly good ; 
 Each duty there to fuch perfection wrought. 
 That, if the precepts fail'd, th 1 example taught. 
 
 Wcjlminjicr Abbey.
 
 VERSES 
 
 To Mr. Brooke, on the Refufal of a Licence to his Play of GuftavusVafa. 
 
 HILE Athens glory'd in her free-born race, 
 And Science flourifli'd round her fav'rite place, 
 The Mufe unfetter' d trod the Grecian Stage ; 
 Free were her pinions, unreftrain'd her rage : 
 Bold and fecure fhe aim'd the pointed dart, 
 And pour'd the precept poignant to the heart, 
 Till dire Dominion ftretch'd her lawlefs fway, 
 And Athens foils were deftin'd to obey : 
 Then firft the Stage a Licens'd Bondage knew, 
 And Tyrants quafh'd the fcene they fear'd to view : 
 Fair Freedom s voice no more was heard to charm ? 
 Or Liberty the Attic audience warm, 
 
 Then
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 181 
 
 Then fled the Mufe, indignant, from the more, 
 Nor deign'd to dwell where Freedom was no more : 
 Vain then, alas ! me fought Britannia % ifle, 
 Charm'd with her voice, and cheer'd us with her fmile. 
 If Gallic laws her gen'rous flight reftrain, 
 And bind her captive with th' ignoble chain j 
 Bold and unlicens'd, in Eliza's days, 
 Free flow'd her numbers, flourifh'd fair her bays \ 
 O'er Britain's Stage majeftic, unconfin'd, 
 She tun'd her Patriot lefTons to mankind ; 
 For mighty Heroes ranfack'd ev'ry age, 
 Then beam'd them glorious in her Shakespeare's page. 
 
 Shakespeare's no more ! — loft was the Poet's name 
 
 Till Thou, my friend, my genius, fprung to Fame ; 
 
 Lux'd by his laurel's never-fading bloom, 
 
 You boldly fnatch'd the trophy from his tomb. 
 
 Taught the declining Mufe again to foar, 
 
 And to Britannia gave one Poet more. 
 
 Pleas'c
 
 iti MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 
 
 Plcas'd, in thy lays we fee Gustavus live ; 
 But, O Gustavus ! if thou canft, forgive. 
 Britons, more favage than the tyrant Dane, 
 Beneath whofe yoke you drew the galling chain, 
 Degenerate Britons, by thy worth difmay'd, 
 Prophane thy glories, and profcribe thy fliade 
 
 SONG.
 
 SONG. 
 
 S Granville's foft numbers tunc Myra\ juft praife, 
 And Chloe mines lovely in Prior's fwcet lays ; 
 So, wou'd Daphne but fmile, their example I'd follow, 
 And, as me looks like Venus, I'd fing like Apollo : 
 But, alas ! while no fmiles from the Fair-one infpirc, 
 How languid my {trains, and how tunelefs my lyre ! 
 
 Go, Zephyrs, falute in foft accents her ear, 
 
 And tell how I languifh, figh, pine, and defpair ; 
 
 In gentleft murmurs my paffion commend, 
 
 But whifper it foftly, for fear you offend : 
 
 For fure, O ye Winds, you may tell her my pain , 
 'Tis Strepho7i\ to fufrcr, but not to complain. 
 
 Wherever I go, or whatever I do, 
 
 Still fomething prefents the fair Nymph to my view. 
 
 If
 
 1 8 4 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. 
 
 If I traverfe the garden, the garden ftill ihows 
 Me her neck in the lily, her lip in the rofe : 
 
 But with her neither lily nor rofe can compare ; 
 
 Far fweeter's her lip, and her bofom more fair. 
 
 If, to vent my fond anguim, I fteal to the grove, 
 The fpring there prefents the frefli bloom of my Love ; 
 The nightingale too, with impertinent noife, 
 Pours forth her fweet ftrains in my Syren's fweet voice : 
 
 Thus the grove and its mufic her image ftill brings ; 
 
 For, like fpring fhe looks fair, like the nightingale lings. 
 
 If, forfaking the groves, I fly to the court, 
 
 Where beauty and fplendor united refort, 
 
 Some glimpfe of my Fair in each charmer I fpy, 
 
 In Richmond's fair form, or in Brudenel's bright eye; 
 
 But, alas ! what wou'd Brudenel or Richmond appear? 
 
 Unheeded they'd pafs, were my Daphne but there. 
 
 If
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIEC r' ; 
 
 If to books I retire, to drown my fond pain, 
 
 And dwell over Horace, or Ovid\ fweet drain ; 
 
 In Lydia, or Chloe, my Daphne I find ; 
 
 But Chke was courteous, and Lydia was kind : 
 
 Like Lydia, or Chloe, wou'd Daphne but prove, 
 Like Horace, or Ovid, I'd fing and I'd love. 
 
 T O 
 
 D R S C H O M B E R G, 
 
 Of BATH. 
 
 T 
 
 "^O Schomberg quoth Death ^ u I your Patient will 
 " have :" 
 
 To Death replied Schomberg, " My Patient Ell fave." 
 Then Death feiz'd his arrow, the Doctor his pen, 
 And each wound the one gave, t'other heal'd it again ; 
 'Till Death fwore he never had met fuch defiance, 
 Since he and the College had been in alliance 
 
 THE END.
 
 E R R A T U : 
 
 Page 1^9, line z : For 176 1, n 17
 
 BOOK 
 
 PUBLISHED BY 
 
 G. K E A R S L E Y and J. R I D L E Y. 
 
 I. f I 'HE Works of Andrew Marvell, Efq; Poetical, Con- 
 X. troverfial, and Political ; containing many Original Letters, 
 Poems, and Tracts, never before printed. 
 
 With a New Life of the Author, by 
 C A P T. EDWARD THOMPSON. 
 In Three Volumes, Quarto, Price Three Guinc 
 
 II. The Constitution of England; or, An Account of 
 the English Government; in which it is compared with 
 the Republican Form of Government, and occallonally with other 
 Monarchies in Europe. 
 
 By J. L. de LOLME, : of Geneva. 
 
 Royal Octavo, Price Ten Shillings and Sixper. 
 
 III. The British Chronologist ; comprehendi. 
 terial Occurrence, Ecclefiaitical, Civil, or Military, i 
 England and Walls, from the Invasion of the Roman" 
 the Prefent Time : Interfperled with Pro.eilions at Coron 
 Inflalments of the Military Honours, Marriages, I
 
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 to the Whole. 
 
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 Two Volumes, fmall Octavo, Price Seven Shillings. 
 


 
 
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