PR 
 3358 
 
 jam 3ODO 
 T55 Gol'- 
 
 University of California 
 
 At Los Angeles 
 The Library 
 
 Form L I 
 
 TR
 
 This book is DUE on the last date stamped helov 
 
 | | 
 
 ' 
 
 1 5 1362 
 
 Form L-9-10m-3,'27
 
 TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 COMEDY 
 
 IN THREE ACTS. 
 
 Performed at the THEATRES ROYAL 
 
 HAY-MARKET, 
 DRURY-LANE, AND COVENT-GARDEN. 
 
 PRINTED UNDER THE INSPECTION OF 
 
 JAMES WRIGHT EN, PROMPTER. 
 
 KXACTLY AGREEABLE TO THi KiPRESEN 
 
 LONDON. 
 PRINTED FOR C. DII.LY, IN THE POULTRY. 
 
 92277
 
 Dramatis Perfonae. 
 
 HAY- MARKET, 1786. 
 
 VILLAMOUR, MR. PALMER. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL, MR. BOOTH. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL, MR. DAVIES. 
 SKIPWELL, MR. R. PALMER. 
 
 SERVANT, MR. LYONS. 
 
 FLORINDA, Miss FARREN. 
 
 LETTY, MRS. BULKLEY.
 
 33 
 T53 
 
 TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 A COMEDY. 
 
 * A C T I. 
 
 SCENE I. An Apartment in MeanweU's Houff. 
 
 J OtoMEANWELL difcovered fitting (with a Letter in hit 
 Hand). 
 
 
 
 JL H I S confidential information given me by ViUi 
 father puzzles me exceedingly ; I don'* know to aft 
 in it, whether 'tis better to forewarn my daughter of the 
 plot meditated againft her, or without affigning my mo- 
 V tives, counfel her to turn his own weapons upon him ? 
 the laft feems to be the beft method ; but I will confult my 
 i\ fon about it/ Oh j here comes Florinda and her con- 
 fidante. 
 
 Enter Tkrinda and Letty. 
 
 \FLORIN,DA. 
 
 What are your commands for .me, Sir ? 
 ? OLD MEANWE'LL. 
 \ I fent for you, my dear, to acquaint you, I've juft re- 
 ceived an account that Young Villamour will be here to- 
 day: but you feem penfive and referved. Pray, child, 
 
 don't be uneafy ; come be candid with me, and you'll find 
 me as indulgent as you could wifti. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Why really, Sir, I was too precipitate in judging for
 
 2 TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 my miftrefs, (he's loth to rifk her heart in the lottery of 
 love, with fo many blanks to a prize. 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Come, come, this is not the point I'll be plain with 
 
 you, Florinda: You muft be fenfible how dear you are 
 to me you know I told you before, that in the laft ex- 
 curfion I made to Ireland this bufmefs came on the tapi?, 
 his father and I agreed to the match, provided you mould 
 mutually like each other, and that no compulsion was to 
 be ufed on either fide. 
 
 FLORJNPA. 
 
 And yet, Sir, it is an aukward kind of interview at the 
 beft. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 I'll lay no injunction on your obedience to me ; if 
 Vtllamour doesn't fuit your inclinations, you need only fay 
 
 fo, and the treaty's at an end ; if you do not pleafe his 
 
 fancy, he'll depart immediately. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Yes, yes, quite like a foldier's courtmip you tike me, 
 
 I like you ; quick, let's be tether'd ! or do you like 
 
 me ? No, nor I you ; fo let's hear no more of it. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 I muft confefs, as I before told you, that 'I never faw 
 Fil/amour-, he was on his travels when I viiited his/ather 
 but from the character he bears, I dare fay you'll join in 
 my prepofieffion for him, and- have reafon to thank us 
 for bringing you together. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 *l'm overpower'd with your goodnefs, Sir ; and fince 
 you throw implicit obedience out of the queflion, I'll ha* 
 zard the trial. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 You (hall decide for yourfelf, Child, and be a free agent 
 pn this occafion. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Then if I dare communicate a project that Letty here 
 has ftruck out for me your compliance with it will en- 
 tirely remove every apprehenfion. OLD
 
 A C O M E D Y. | 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Tell it me, if it is feafible I promife not only my con 
 
 fent, but afliftance 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 'Tis very feafible, Sir- but I am afraid it would be 
 
 intruding too much on your indulgence, 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 No put it to the teft, try me, one fhould be a little 
 too good in this world to be fujficiently fo. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 None but the beft of fathers and of men could utter that 
 expreflion. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Explain yourfelf, my dear. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Villamour, you fay, is expected at our houfe to-day. 
 If I could fo manage it that we might be together without 
 his knowing me, I (hould be quite eafy ; Letty has pre- 
 fence of mind, and clevernefs will you content to our 
 interchanging characters, Jhe to be miftrefs, and I maid. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 A nd fo make a gentlewoman of me in fpite of the three 
 penny planet I was born under; rare work! nothing to 
 do but drink tea, make curtefies, and get a hufband ! 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Odd enough, faith ! the very thing I was going to pro* 
 pofe to her. (dftde.) 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Well, Sir, have I your permiflion? 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Yes, my dear, I permit this metamorphofis, on con- 
 dition you neither of you quit it, 'till I give you leave 
 
 -Bu f t will Letty be equal to her part or the drama ? 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Me, Sir, you know I'm an old fpouter, and have done 
 every character from Cherry to Beatrice at our holiday plays 
 irv the country. Obfcrve the iample, and retufe me due 
 rcfpcct if you dare ? 
 
 ** With a good leg and a good foot, Uncle, and money 
 *' enough in his purfe, futh a man would win any 
 B 2 " w^ma
 
 4 TITFORTAT, 
 
 <c woman in the world, if he could get her good 
 " will." 
 
 What do you think of me now, Sir, can you difcover a 
 trace of low life in your fervant Letty ? 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Hah! hah! hah! very well, very well, indeed 
 
 you'll be a capital performer: but there is no time to be 
 Jtoft, go and equip yourfelves for your refpedtive parts ; 
 make hafte, and tell the reft of the family to be on their 
 guard. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 A very little alteration will anfwer my purpofe, for now 
 adays the maid is a finer lady than the miftrefs. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 But I muft to my toilet. Come, Mrs. Letty, pray 
 attend your duty, Ma'am, and make yourfelf a little handy 
 in your new employment. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 You'll be fatisfied with my dutiful endeavours, Ma'am ! 
 
 (Curtefying.) 
 
 As they are retiring^ enter Young Meanwell. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 Sifter, I congratulate you ; I've juft heard your lover 
 is expected here immediately. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 I'm not your fifter at prefent; pay your attention there, 
 if you pleafe ; but I haven't time to unravel the myftery 
 now, and fo leave my father to expound it. 
 
 [Exeunt Florinda and Letty. 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Come, I'll tell you mire than even (lie herfelf's aware 
 of, Tom. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 What I've already heard is enough to furprife me, Sir. 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 But you muft be fecret Know then, when V'tllamour 
 
 comes here to-dsy, we fnall behold him in difguife. 
 
 YOUNG
 
 A <? O M E D Y. 5 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 In difguife. Is it from a mafquerade, or are you 
 going to give him a fancy- hall at his reception ? 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Neither; but you muft know that his father has given 
 me private notice, that Fillamour (after much importunity) 
 prevailed on him to permit his coming here in a fictitious 
 character. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 How do you mean, Sir ? 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 You recollect that Fillamour is ftill in the army, and 
 that his old campaigner of a fervant ftill lives with him; 
 and I am further to tell you, accompanies his mafter on 
 the prefent occafion to London. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL 
 And what of that pray ? 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 He, in this courtfhip, is to renrefent his matter's name 
 and character, while Villamour attends him in the double 
 capacity of a private foldier, and valet, under his fervam's 
 name, Skipwell. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 What a romantic piece of knight errantry ! 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 And to compleat the jeft, Florinda, equally as uneafy 
 refpe&ing the fight of her lover (whofe plot againft her 
 (he can't have a knowledge of (has juft implored me, that 
 fhe and Letty fhould like-i.ife make a mafquerade of it, by 
 exchanging characters; anJ I've confented. 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 Oh that's a different ftory 1 now fee 'twill produce 
 
 a very original, comic adventure ! . 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 You would not advife me then to let your fifter know 
 the counterplot againft her: 
 
 YOUKO
 
 6 TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 By no means, Sir, love feems to have contrived it, 
 and let fortune have the management of it. 
 Enter Florinda, drejjed as Letty. 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Here I am, Sir and what do you think of me? 
 
 I'll endeavour to be as pert and faucy a waiting- maid as 
 any in the precin&s of St. James's. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 \{Villarnour t s fervant's as clever a fellow as we're told, 
 and has but a good opinion of himfelf, indeed, Sifter, I 
 think you'll be an excellent match for each other. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 As to that matter, if 'tis the fame perfon he had with 
 
 him on his travels 1 hear a good account of him, and 
 
 that he's a very great favourite of his matter's. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Well, for a little fport 1 mould not be difpleafed to 
 flrike his fancy in the part I reprefent, but I mould be 
 more vain to be fure, if I could lure the notice of his 
 mafter. If I can but effecl: a conqueft over him in this 
 difguife, I fijall have a higher opinion of myfelf than ever. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 And (he little knows what a good opportunity (he'll have. 
 {A fide to Young Me a nw ell.) 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 As for the attendant his importunity will not much 
 trouble me ; there will be fomething commanding in. 
 my look and manner that will make him know his pro~ 
 per diftance, and the awful refpeft due to me. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 Notfo faft, Sifter, noi fofaft; you muft confider this 
 fellow will be your equal. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 And will not fail like the reft of them, to make down- 
 right love to you. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 With all my heart; fervants are generally communica- 
 tive >
 
 A C O M E D Y. 7 
 
 tive; love is a great babler, and foldier's always gallant ; 
 fo I'll make him the hiftorian of his matter, and thus have 
 a better chance of unravelling his true character. 
 
 Enter a Servant, 
 
 Sir, there's a foldier below, juft arrived in town he 
 fays, who begs to fpeak with you. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Shew him in. 
 
 [Exit Servant, 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 I fuppofe 'tis Villamour's attendant coming to announce 
 
 his matter. Where's Letty ? 
 
 FLORIXDA. 
 
 I left her at her toilet where I dare fay her looking- 
 gtafs flatters her that we are very imprudent to put Villa- 
 mour in her power but fhe'll be ready before he comes. 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 here's the avant courier / 
 
 Enter a Servant, condu fling Vtllamoiir difguifed In a Light 
 Infantry Uniform as Skipivtll. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 1 was difpatched by my matter, Mr. Villamour^ to Mr, 
 
 Meanwell Is it to him I have the honour of paying 
 
 my duty and refpects ? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 If the matter's but as fmart and well- looking as the fer- 
 vant (^<t/*.) 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Yes, my friend, I'm the perfon you were fent to. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 You have no doubt, Sir, been informed of our coming; 
 my matter is dreffing at the hotel, and fent me before him 
 with hismoft dutiful compliments 'till he confirms them 
 in perfon. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 And you execute your meiTage in a very becoming man- 
 ner ;
 
 * TITFORTAT. 
 
 ner, don't you ! Q k fo, Letty ? and that he's a good fore- 
 runner of his mafter? 
 
 P'LORINDA. 
 I will not give my op 1" ion too ramlv, Sir. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 But you'll welcome the young man, won't you ? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Certainly ! and what's more, I think he promffes 
 
 very well, Sir 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 You do me honour in thinking fo: I only wifh the 
 miftrefs half as charming as the maid. (dfide.) 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 But what's this fancy drefs you have got on ? Is it your 
 mailer's livery ? 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Yes, Sir and cm that I prefer wearing to any other 
 livery in the world ! 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 Very heroic, indeed ! and well fpoken for a foldier of 
 light infantry. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 But can't your matter travel without his body guard ? 
 that he will net let you equip yourfelf like every othery^r- 
 vant- 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 O, Sir, the hardfhips of war endear us foldiers to one 
 another, and we always regard our cloth too well, ever to 
 go on fervice, under falfe colours. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Then you look upon cotirtftiip as a kind of fervice ? 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Certainly ! and the only one a foldier fears, becaufe the 
 moft fatal to his heart. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 Bravo ! he's quite Sterne's La Fleur ! take care of 
 
 your heart, my girl for a faithful foldier always proves 
 himfelfaconftantlover. FLORINDA.
 
 A C O M E D Y. 9 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Afv heart indeed I 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Don't be offended ; what the gentleman's pleafed to 
 fa} 1 ' will not make me prefume mere on the poflibility of 
 gaining it. 
 
 A rnodeft, pretty behaved fellow \.\\\s:(Afide.) 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 This is mighty fine talk but methinks it's a very feri- 
 Ous introduction for people of your clafs j fuch a grave 
 formal manner don't fuit either of you : you mould be 
 free and frolickfome as if acquainted for a month' - This 
 girl's name's Letty, what's your's my friend? 
 VILLAMOUR: 
 
 OLD MEANWELL* 
 
 Come, Tom, we're only a reftraint on them. Go, 
 acquaint your fifter of Mr. Villamour's approach; and, 
 Letty, do you (hew the young man his matter's apart- 
 ments ; and I defire, my friend, that you'll take good 
 care of yourfelf in this houfe. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 Sir, you do me greater honour than I deferve. 
 
 [Exeunt Old and Young 
 (After a Pauje) - FLORINDA. 
 
 They're amufmg themfelves at my expence but 
 Ica'nt help it this lad feems neither ugly norunpleaf- 
 ing ; and 1 mould not pity the fervant maid, that had him 
 for a fweetheart. (dfide). 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 This girl aftonifhes rrre "there is not a rank in life 
 that her figure and manners woudn't do honour to - 
 but I'll know more of her, and gain her confidence for my 
 own fake (/file) (dddreffing himftlf to her) 
 
 Since we are now alone, on the friendly footing of fellow- 
 fervants, tell me, my dear, is your miftrefs as captivating 
 as yourfelf? - At any rate (he mud be exceedingly vain 
 to venture on having an attendant like yyu. 
 
 C FjLORlNDA.
 
 *o TIT FOR TAT. 
 
 FtORlNDA. 
 
 The archnefs of this queftion is a direct proof that yOu'vC 
 a great mind for a little flirtation with me? 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 To tell you the truth, I did not come to this houfe 1 with 
 
 any fuch intention : for foldier as I am, I keep little 
 
 company with fervants, I hate their low-liv'd wit, and the 
 
 vulgarifm of their converfation.-^ 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 . O, the precious coxcomb ! {dfide} 
 
 VlLLAMOUfc. 
 
 But with regard to you it is a different cafe 1 was 
 
 prepoflefled in your favour the inftant I entered the room ; 
 
 and am inclined to treat you with the higheft refpecl: ; > 
 
 then tell me what kind of a waiting -maid are you, with 
 charms like a prineefs ? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 What you have told me is exactly the language of all 
 
 the gentleman's fervants that have feen me. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 And I mould not be much furprifed if it was the opinion 
 of all their majlers. 
 
 FLGRINDA. 
 
 I thank you for that compliment, but I muft obferve to 
 you that I'm never to be duped by the flatteries of their 
 iervants* - 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 That is as much as to fay, that my fbtion don't pleafe 
 you. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 True; for a fortune- teller once prophecied, thatl mould 
 never marry anyone but a gentleman of birth and fortune, 
 and I have fince pofitively fwore never to accept any 
 
 thing elfe. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 That's odd enough! What you have refolved on 
 
 refpecting a hufband, I have long determined on as to a 
 wife, and made a iblemn declaration never to marry any 
 one but a gentlewoman.-
 
 A C O M E D Y. /t 
 
 FLORJNDA. 
 Then you need not folicit me I find. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 I'm not fo much out in my purfuit as you perhaps ima- 
 gine you have a very genteel appearance ! and one is 
 
 often of a good family without knowing it. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Hal) ! hah ! hah ! -1 (hould thank you for that mali- 
 cious compliment, if it was not at the expence of my 
 
 mother. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Revenge yourfelf on mine then, if you think I'm entitled 
 to it. 
 
 f FLORINDA. 
 
 He really deferves it (A fide) But this is not the 
 
 point, Mr. Skipwell, let us have done with this raillery, 
 a man of wealth and fafhion is what I afpire to, and I'll 
 not give up a tittle of it. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Egad ! had I the good fortune to have-been born fuch, 
 I fhould verify fhe fortune-teller's prediction. 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Come, come, this is too much 1 defire once mor$ 
 
 you'll quit this topic. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 You mufl throw away your charms then. 
 
 FLORIVDA. 
 You will not have done then I muft leave you -I 
 
 really mould have done fo before (Afide going) 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Stay one moment if you pleafe I had fomething par- 
 ticular to afk you, but it's gone quite out of my head. 
 
 FLORINDA (returning). 
 
 I too had fomething to fay to ysu t but you have con- 
 fufed me fo ! 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 O : now I remember afking you, if your miftrefs was 
 as pleafing as yourfelf. 
 
 C a FLORINDA.
 
 i* TIT FOR TAT. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 This Is only returning to the old fubjeft. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Oh, no fair Lititia! this merely concerns my matter. 
 
 . j j 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 It was relative to him too that / wiflhed to fpeak ; 
 
 tell me candidly what fort of a man he is j your attachment 
 gives me a good opinion of him j he muft have fome me- 
 rit when you ferve him. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 You can't refufe me thanking you for that flattering 
 compliment however, 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Don't take notice of it it was faid inadvertently, 
 
 and can't be recalled. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 There again is one of thofe cold cruel anfwers that 
 chill me but do what you pleafe, I have only to regret 
 that fortune has not allotted me a ftation worthy of you. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Let's hate no more of this nonfenfe -O here's 
 your matter come at laft j .1 muft ftay and have a peep at 
 him. 
 
 Enter $kipwell (dreff*d in an Officer's Uniform.) 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Ah! SkipweUi are you there? well, were my bag- 
 gage and you gracioufly received ? 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 It was impoflible it could be ocherwife, Sir. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Go, and acquaint my father-in-law and my wife of my 
 arrival. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Whit a difagreeable fellow. {Afide?} I fuppofe yoij 
 mean Mr. Meanwell and his daughter, Sir. 
 
 SKJPWELL. 
 
 Yes, my wife and father-in-law, 'tis the fame thing, 
 isn't it, child? I'm come to be married, and they expecl me 
 
 for
 
 A C O M E D Y. 13 
 
 for that purpofe ; don't they ? It wants nothing but the 
 ceremony, and that's a trifle. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 'Tis a trifle however requiring fojne ferious confedera- 
 tion, Sir - 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Perhaps fo ; but the more one thinks of it, the left 
 they'll like it, * too much pudding will choak a dog.' 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Oh ! curfe your proverbs j I vvi(h they'd choak you 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 I fee that fenfe and merit are at a very cheap rate in your 
 country [Afide to Villamour.] 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 What are you faying to my fervant-man, girl? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Nothing, Sir - but - that I wonder what keeps my 
 mailer. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 Why not my father-in-law, pray ? 
 
 FLQJUNPA. 
 Becaufe he is 1 not yet fo. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Certainly not. Sir, 'till the nuptials are accomplifhed. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 O, langolee for ever ! - I'm ready in a crack -and 
 fo is the Lady, I'll be bail for her. 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Oh! the vulgar wretch [Aftde"] but we muft firft 
 dance at your wedding, Sir and get gloves and favours. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 And was any of my country ever backwards at a wed- 
 ding! though we often get only black eyes for favours 
 and fo call my father-in-law, pray ! 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 there ever fuch an ignorant provoking rafcal ? - 
 
 FLORINDA.
 
 14 TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 You are in great hafte to be married, Sir, though for 
 what you know my miftrefs may be a great coquette, or 
 an arrant fcold ! 
 
 SKIP WELL. 
 
 That won't frighten me ; a man living in a barrack 
 is foon ufed to the clatter of the drums, and may lie clofe 
 to a church /ieeple, without being difturbed by the belli. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 What delicate fentiments ! \_Afide'\ You fpeak quite 
 like a phllofopher^ Sir. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 O, yes, very like a FIELD OFFICER. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Was there ever fuch an infernal blunderer ? (Afide) 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 But harky'e, my girl ; are you my Lady's waiting- 
 maid here, and fmgle, I prefume by your innocence ? 
 She's a mighty fine girl, upon my honour .' 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Both, Sir but not at your fervice. ( Afide} 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Well, how do you like me ? Don't you think I (hall 
 prove very agreeable here. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 O ! mighty agreeable ! very agreeable indeed, Sir ! 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 That's well ; encourage that notion, it may befervice- 
 able to yourfelf, my dear, in the end, r She's a nice 
 
 tit. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Well, Sir, I'll go acquaint my matter that you're come; 
 
 they certainly muft have forgot to tell him. Capricious 
 
 fate! were ever two men fo mifplaced in life (Afide) 
 
 [Exit Florinda. 
 SKIPWELL. 
 Well, Sir, you fee the beginning of the plot goes off 
 
 very well 1 already prove agreeable, and have made 
 
 my way with the prime minifter. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR,
 
 A C O M E D Y. 15 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 You ill-manner'd, incorrigible blockhead ! 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 What, Sir, with fo pleafing an addrefs ! fo genteel an 
 air as mine ! (Looking at bimfelf] 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 After all the inftrucYions I give you, to behave with 
 fuch ignorance and vulgarity ! I particularly defired you 
 to be referred and fedate j to hide your brogue, and avoid 
 proverbs! 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Then you would have me as mute as a fifli, and not fay 
 word. Confider, Sir, I have not been long a gentleman, 
 but I'll improve by practice; and fince I have not gravity 
 enough for you, in future I'll be quite fad, and cry my 
 eyes out, if you chufe it, Sir. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 I do not know what to think, fay, or do I'm quite 
 embaraffed 1 wi(h I had never undertaken this adven- 
 ture. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Why, Sir, does not the lady fuit your palate ? 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Silence ; hei e's fomebody coming O ! it is Mr, 
 
 Meanu'ell, fo mind my advice, deport yourfelf properly ; 
 and if he afks you about Ireland^ do not forget the leflon J 
 
 gave you, particularly the fpeecb 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Mum never fear, Sir; I'll report myfelf pro- 
 
 perly. [Exit Villamour, 
 
 Enter Old MeanwelL 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 My dear Mr. Villamonr^ I afk you a thoufand pardons 
 for having been out oi che way on your arrival. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 A thoufand pardons^ Sir if they came from Rome, are 
 
 quite too many one is fufHcient for one cmi/fisti ; but 
 
 if I had a million, they (hould be at ycur fervice. 
 
 OLD
 
 it Tit FOR TAT, 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 I hope I {hall not have occafion for any more, Sir. 8u 
 I'm quite rejoiced to fee you here, Sir j I hope you left 
 ny good old friend, your father, perfectly well, Sir. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Never better, Sir, never better, and always at your fer- 
 vice. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL, 
 
 So, I find you could not refift vifuing your DearHiber- 
 nia, before your regiment and your miftrefs; you longed, 
 I fuppofe, to behold the many happy changes that {he had 
 experienced in your abfence. 
 
 SKIPWELt. 
 
 Yes, Sir -now for the fpeech (A fide] and was re- 
 joiced to 'find my country as freeJn her commerce and 
 
 conftitution as England with equal profpe&s of wealth^ 
 
 fame, and profperity before her as my mafter fays 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Your mafter \ 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 O curfe my blundering tongue ( A fide) Mafter ! did 
 I fay Mafter ? O yes, the Quarter- Mafter of our regi- 
 ment, a ftaff- officer, Sir And and as great a politi- 
 cian as I am Hem ! to be fure I an't the dandy 
 
 Ajidi) 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 O, your humble fervant, Sir! well recovered, faith! 
 
 (Afide] However we will defer politics 'till we are 
 over the boitle. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 O yes politics is a dry fubjedl: fure enough. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Well, Sir, how do you like the continent and the? 
 couits you've feen in your travels. 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 O vaftly well, Sir 1 learned to caper and take fnufF 
 
 ifl France; the art of war and drinking in Germany; 
 
 to k: fulky and proud as a grandee, in Spain. -r 
 to fyig and play the tiddlc in Italy i and among the 
 
 Turk?
 
 A C O M E D Y. r; 
 
 Turks to chew opium like bacce ; as to learning and 
 
 good manners, they're quite natural to me. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Very great accomplishments indeed ! 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 But I'm vaftly impatient to fee your fair daughter, Sir 
 and have been equiping and adamizing myfelf as you fee 
 to win her 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Hah! hah! hah! (Afide}you judged well, the drefs 
 recommends the wearer, and " the brave deferve the fair.' 1 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 ' But when Oiall I fee her, Sir ? 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Oh : immediately ! She has not been very well, rather 
 a little agitated expecting.) CM. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Oh! dear Sir 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 The bafhfulnefs of a maid you know ! In the mean 
 time, will you take any refrefliment after your journey ? 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 " Will a duck fwim ?" I never refufes to crack a 
 bottle with an honeft fellow, for I love to wet my whittle. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 It's rather early for drinking, but the houfe and cellar 
 are both at your fervice. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 For my part I'll be content with the cellar. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL, 
 Pray, Sir . 
 
 SKIPWELL. . * 
 Oh ! not for the world I'll follow you, Sir* 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Well, Sir, Til fcew the way. Exit.
 
 i8 T I T F O R T A T, 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 If I'm not as polite, and as much a gentleman as my 
 matter, tlie devil burn me. 
 
 (Exit. 
 
 END OF ACT I. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 SCENE I 
 
 Old Meanvcelli and Letty drefid as Florinda. 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 W ELL, Letty, I fee you are drefi'd for your cha- 
 racter what have you to fay to me Y 
 
 LETTY. 
 Sir, fomething very particular to communicate to you. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Ah ! what is it ? 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 To clear up matters, that you may have nothing to re- 
 proach me with hereafter. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 You're very ferious I find. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Very ferious I aiTure you, Sir - 1 readily became an 
 accomplice in the plor, not imagining any confequence 
 from it to myfelf. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Why, what mighty confequence has happened to you? 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 'Tis a bold tafk to praife one's felf ; but in fpite of all 
 the rules ofrnodtftv, J muft inform you, Sir, that if you 
 
 do
 
 A C O M E D Y. rg 
 
 do not reveal matters, your Intended fon-in-Iaw won't have 
 
 a heart to give my miftiefs It is time the mafk was 
 
 thrown off, and that he mould know who is who el fa 
 I cannot be anfwerable for it a day longer. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 And what makes you imagine he will not admire my 
 daughter when he comes to a thorough knowledge of her ? 
 Have you any doubt of her charms, pray ? 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 By no means, Sir, but you have no opinion of mine 
 I forwarn you however that they arc doing great execution 
 and I advife you to guard agairift them. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 O, Ma'am, I beg you a thoufand pardons, I was not 
 acquainted with your powers, Hah ! hah ! hah ! 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Very well, Sir, laugh as much as you pleafe j but believe 
 me I'm right, and 1 can gain my point if I chufe it. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Very well, Letty, do fo, 1 (ball not hinder you allure 
 youifelf. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 I muft be more explicit, Sir Mr. Villamour's heart is 
 
 going very faft ; Ive already won it. 1 know I am not 
 
 deferving of it * he'll have a wretched tafte, and all 
 
 that 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 O, by no means you are too humble indeed. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 You may conceive whatever you pleafe, Sir ; but - 
 mind what I tell you, Sir, by to-morrow he'll be entirely 
 in my leading-firings. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. - 
 
 With all my heart, if he loves you fo defperately let 
 him marry you. 
 
 LETTY. 
 What and you'll not forbid the banas, Sir.
 
 ^Q TITFORTAT, 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Not I, upon my honour, if you can bring him to it. 
 LETTY. 
 
 Once more I warn you to take care, Sir 1 have not 
 
 yet given full fcope to my powers, but if I am permitted 
 to difplay myfelf, and at liberty to exert all the arts of my 
 fex, I'll conquer all before me. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL, 
 
 Conquer, captivate, fink, burn and deftroy in mort- 
 marry him, I give you full permiflion and confent. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Then, Sir, I thank you, and confider my fortune as al- 
 ready made. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 But here comes * your conquering hero.' 
 
 Enter Sktpwell. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Ah ! have I at length found you, my enchanting fair 
 one ? I h^.ve been hunting all round the houfe for you, 
 like a young hound after a liveret, as I'm not happy a 
 
 minute from your fight your fervant, father-in-law 
 
 that is to be 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 Good bye, my children ; a third perfon on thefe occa- 
 
 fions is not the moft acceptable company So I will 
 
 leave you to yourfclves ' Love firft and marry after- 
 wards/ 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 I'm glad, Sir, you have reverfed the proverb, but I can 
 do thofe two things both together. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Have a liitle patience, do not hurry my daughter's fpi- 
 rits, her nerves are very delicate. [Exit. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Yes, fomething like fiddle-JIrings they will bear 
 
 playing upon How much at his eafe the old gentle- 
 man talks, and how quietly he bids us have patience.- 
 
 LETTY,
 
 A * O M E D Y. ii 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 And can I believe, Sir, you are fuch an enemy to de- 
 lay? Jt is certainly your politenefs and gallantry make you 
 fay fo j for I am but juft known to you ; your love cannot 
 have grown to fuch a pitch already ; I may fay it is but 
 newly born. 
 
 SKIPWELL 
 
 You're miftaken, fair lady a love of your making 
 
 fprouts up all at once like a mu/broom.'The firft ogle 
 from the gable-end of your bright eye made him a fine, 
 jolly, amorous, full-grown Cupid like Cupid in the pit- 
 ure at Rome Ah! make much of him then, fmce you 
 are Venus the mother of him. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 How much like a lover and a traveller he talks ( /I fide] 
 You cannot fay, Sir, that he has been cruelly treated, 
 though he is a bold, impudent fellow, you mull own. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 *Till he is better provided for, give him then this 
 pretty, little, white hand of yours for a play thing to amufe 
 the child " When the cat's away the mice will play." 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 There then, you little coaxing, enticing, pleafing rogue, 
 you, fince I cannot quiet you any other way. 
 
 (Giving him her hand. 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Dear, fweet, charming fugar candy of my heart, how 
 it fires me like a fquib of whifkey ! (K'ffi n g 't 
 
 LETTY, 
 
 How familiar and complaifant (Afide] Stop, flop, you 
 are too greedy do not take it for a gingerbread baby, 
 or think that you are fucking a China orange. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Oh! it has fuch a relifli I could devour it, thumb, fingers 
 and all. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Is it poflible you can love me to fuch excefs I can 
 hardly believe the reality of it; 
 
 SKIP*
 
 22 TI T F O R T A.T. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Talk not to me of what's poffible ; I lov-e you to 
 What the devil (hall I fay (A fide} to botheration ; and 
 
 you know I do 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Oh ; there's no refifting you red coats But hift 
 
 here is fome body coining Oh, it is your fervant. 
 
 Enter Villamour. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 May I be allowed the liberty of fpeaking to you, Sir ? 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 No j curs'd be the puppy that dare intrude on our 
 
 privacy, and interrupt our converfation Begone, Sir, 
 
 or elfe 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 J have not above a word or two to fay, Sir. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Excufe me, Ma'am, if he utters above two money fylla- 
 iubs the third (hall be his difcharge. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Oh, damn your fyllabubs Come here, firrah, ungra- 
 cious dunderhead, come near (dfide.} 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Fine ufage for an officer, and a gentleman this (dfide 
 19 Fillamour}-Come, difpatch, or I'll trounce your 
 jacket Excufe me, my queen. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Ufe no ceremony with me, fir, finifli your bufmefs 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Hear me, you fcaramouch, difengage yourfelf from all 
 this mummery do not give into it j appear very ferious 
 and diflatisfied nay, out of humour you undeiitand 
 me. {Afide to Siipwell.) 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Mum (dside\ it is^very yvell, let him call to morrow 
 
 or this evening if you chufe. Ma'am GO, firrah, 
 
 and tell him fo. [Exit
 
 A C iQ M E D Y. 21 
 
 LET TV. 
 Pray who is it, fir ? 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Oh, no body, Ma'am, fome fnip of a taylor, about wed- 
 ding cloaths, that's all a plague on the impertinence 
 
 of fervants. 
 
 LETTY. 
 They are very troublefome indeed, Sir, 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Oh ! Ma'am, but for this intruilon, I had fuch tender 
 things to fay to you But I can only remember what is 
 uppermoft in my heart that I love you, and hope I may 
 expert a mutual return ! 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 'Tis a kind of a fudden---unexpeted -question, (k ; 
 but -you may live in hopes -{Affettedly} 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Do you think then you could make a little hole in your 
 heart for me to creep in zt--~(LanguiJbing) 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Oh ! now you are too coaxing, fr, confider the deco- 
 rum of my fex you have too much tinder and touch- 
 wood about you, and have not patience to raife a flame. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Let me firft light up a match You will be the flint, 
 I the fleel, and fo we'll ftrike up a flafli of love between us I 
 
 LETTY. 
 But what would you have me fay, Sir ? 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Only that you love me -be merely my echo, and re- 
 peat my words, my princefs. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 You are very prefling, fir *- Well, I believe 7 love 
 you, fir. (Holding up her fan) 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Oh, my dear little jewel --how you tranfport me- 
 I fhall die with joy -'I'll not let you fay another ward, 
 but feal up your lips witb,mine (Kifsing hrr.} 
 
 LETTY,
 
 24 TITFORTAT, 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Oh, fye, fir- --Perhaps when you know me thoroughly, 
 you will love me lefs. 
 
 SKIPWELI*' 
 
 Ah, Ma'am, when it comes to that you'll be the great* 
 eft lofer t " and find yourfelf in the wrong box." 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 You do not know what kind of a woman I am, fir ; / 
 <OT not fo worthy of you as you think me. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 And I Cbould be on my knees when / fpeak to you, 
 Ma'am. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 As to me I mould have chofen you in any ftation. Can I 
 flatter myfelf that you'd be as kind to me ? 
 
 SKIPWELL.- 
 
 Ah, my darling, were you only the flea-catcher of a 
 lady's lap dog, or that I faw you with the proker in your 
 hand making the kitchen fire, I would kneel to that as my 
 fceptre, and obey you ; that I would, my Queen of Hearts. 
 
 LETTY; 
 
 I (hall foon put that to the teft (Aside] If I could be 
 fute that your Icve was fincere: 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Let us then fwear to be true and faithful to each other, 
 in fpite of all the chances and chequers of this mortal life. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 With all hearts (They both drop on tleir knees together} 
 Hear us, O Matter Cupid. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 And Cymsn, God of Marriage. 
 LETTY. 
 Who? 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 Cymon, 
 
 LETTY, 
 Hymen you mean, 
 
 SKIPWELL,
 
 A C O M E D Y. 25 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 True, he was a High- man fure enough ! 
 
 LETTY. 
 Hear our vows, that we will ever love and take each 
 
 other for better for worfe though fortune fhould betray 
 
 our hopes and make beggars of either, or both of us. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 And I confent with all my foul and now let's fign 
 
 and feal the bargain (.K'J)* n g her.) 
 
 (They loth rife.) 
 LETTY. 
 
 That feals the deed with a witnefs- and now but 
 
 here's another coming to interrupt us Hum ! 
 
 Enter Pi or in da. 
 LETTY. 
 
 What do you want, Letty ? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 A mefiage, to you, Ma'am. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Muft we always be the flaves of fervants you fee 
 we are bufy, my child ; cannot you come again ? Filly de 
 Chamber* mould not intrude, but when they are called for. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 I've private bufmefs with my Lady, Sir. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Can't you put it off? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Why, really Ma'am 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Curfethat Why it throws me in to the dumps; 
 
 I tell you, girl, your abfence would be very good company. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Oh ! the difagreeable wretch (Aside) It is very ur- 
 gent, Ma'am. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Then, fir, with your leave 
 
 E S&IPWSX.L.
 
 *fc TITFORTAT, 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 If it muft be fo, it muft ; then adieu, my deareft honey* 
 (Looking tenderly at each other.} 
 
 [Exeunt Florinda and Letty. 
 Manet SKIPWELL. 
 
 This is all mighty fine but (han't I be guilty of dif- 
 
 obedience of orders in betraying my mafter ? No 
 
 <he has tjanfmogrified me into a gentleman ; at leaft the 
 
 reprefcntative of one ;---and I am not the firft reprefenta- 
 
 tive that hat betrayed his truft. [Exit. 
 
 Scene changes to another Apartment* 
 
 Enter Florinda and Letty. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 You juft behaved as I wifhed you, Letty, not to fend 
 away that deteftable fellow, 'till I became a witnefs to his 
 vulgarity and ill- breeding. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Upon my word, Ma'am, it is too much for me to play 
 two parts at once I muft either be miftrefs or maid, to 
 command or obey. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Well, but fince he is not prefent, liften to me as your 
 fuperior You plainly fee that he is not agreeabJe to me. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 You have not had time to examine him, Ma'am. 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Is it neceflary to fee him above twicer 1 tell you 
 
 again he will not anfwer my purpofe. 
 
 LETTY 
 
 But he will mine though (dfide] Perhaps your father 
 thinks otherwife, Ma'am. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 It may be fo, for he avoids meeting rne ; nor have I 
 exchanged a fy liable with him fince Villamour's arrival- 
 Thus circurnftanced, it is only you, Letty, that can extri- 
 cate me from this troublefomeaffair, by telling the gentle- 
 flian lhat he dues not fait your tafte. 
 
 LETTV.
 
 A C O M E D Y. a; 
 
 LETTY. 
 I cannot indeed, Ma'am. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 You cannot truly ! Pray what hinders you ? 
 
 LETTY 
 Your father. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 He prevent you ; that is impoftible. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Pofitively forbade me, Ma'am. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 XVell, it is my orders you acquaint him that my diftaftc 
 to this gentleman is invincible ; and I cann-jt think, after 
 what he promifed, that he'll deceive me by detaining 
 Villamour. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Has not his coxcomb of a fkip prejudiced you againft him 
 by fome itories to hisdifadvantage? 
 FLORIMDA. 
 Pray, Ma'am, who gave you liberty to abufe anyone? 
 
 What could his fervant fay to difguft me more than 
 
 his own ill -manners. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 I however miftruft that you liften too much to this prat- 
 ing jackanapes of a foldier who gives hirnfdf airs becaufe 
 he meets encouragement ; I fuppofe (Saucily) 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 I muft once more defne that you will behave yourfelf 
 refpectfully ; the young man is very difcreet, fenlible and 
 deferving, 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Yes, yes, Ma'am, he's a very good flirt, and has art 
 enough to prejudice people in his favour. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 But I defire you'll not impute to the fervant the fixed 
 abhorrence I bear the matter. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Oh ! Ma'am, fince you take his part, I will not ofrend 
 you by faying any thing to his difadvantage. 
 
 1 FLORIXDA/
 
 28 TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 I take his part I juftify him (fluttered} 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Indeed, Ma'am, you feem to entertain a very favourable 
 kind of opinion of him. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 7a favourable / a kind opinion of him -what in- 
 
 folence ! you abfolutely lofe all refpeft for me, and fancy 
 yourfelf, I believe, miftrefs in reality. 
 
 LETTY. 
 I am forry that fuch a trifle {hould offend you, Ma'am. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Get out of my fight ^ I'll take other meafures to dif- 
 engage myfelf from this vexatious bufmefs. 
 
 [Exit Letty. 
 Manet FLORINDA. 
 
 I tremble at the bare thoughts of her fuggeftion 
 How infolently fervants behave when we put ourfelves in 
 their power, and are indifcreet enongh to truft them with 
 our fecrets ! I am vexed at what (he laid it was relative 
 to a fervant ; well, poor fellow, it is not his fault, and I 
 
 (hould not vent my difpleafure on him but 1 fee him 
 
 yonder muling and difturbed it will only diftrefs me to 
 meet him fo I will avoid him. (going.) 
 
 Enter Villamour. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Stay : Are you avoiding me, fair Letitia? What have I 
 done to offend you ? Believe me, for the ftiort time we 
 have to be together, you need not put yourfelf under any 
 reftraint. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 What ! is your matter going to leave us ? We mail not 
 Jjave much lofs of him. 
 
 VjLLAMOUR. 
 
 Nor of me neither ; I have finiflied your fentence, have 
 pot J, Letty ? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 I would not have Ucked that to it, as I was not think- 
 
 ' ou 
 
 VJLLAMOUR,
 
 A C O M E D Y. 29 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 And I never lofe fight of you. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Hear me once for all, Skipwell go, come, or flay^ arfe 
 equally indifferent to me I neither like you, nor dif- 
 
 like you, nor will I ever change this difpofition 1 have 
 
 particular reafons for it, and indeed I might excufe rayfelf 
 iiom telling you fo. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Nay, now you make me miserable if piquing my 
 
 pride was out of the queftion, I mould be made wretched 
 by your indifference. If you felt but half of what I fufter 
 and what an extraordinary fituation I am in. 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 As to that it cannot be more embarrafied than mine, I 
 
 allure you But I hope you are not going to leave us in 
 
 reality. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Yes, I muft go, or lofe my fenfes, as I have already 
 done my heart and I was to blame in not leaving you 
 the inflant I faw you. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 You cannot fay that ever I encouraged your paffion. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 But you cannot hinder me from adoring you, and on 
 my knees, I muft confefs my love though 1 leave you 
 the moment after. 
 
 (//j he is kneeling^ ( Id and Young Meamvell enter at the 
 beck Scene, lijlening.) 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 But before I rife, ah! give me fome affurance that lam 
 not an objedi of your hatted. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Rife, rife, fome body may catch you in this poflure 
 do, I befeech you rife- I'll fay any thing you pleafc 
 ! I do not hate you, I allure you I do not. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR.
 
 jo TITFORTAT, 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 What, Letty, if I was not what I appear to be, but a 
 man of family and fortune, and that I loved you as much 
 as I do now, you would have no diflike to me ? 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 I Diould be a fool if I had. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 You would return me love for love. 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 I fhould return you (Seeing her father and brother 
 
 coming). 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 A very tender, amorous duetto indeed ! What a pity 
 it is to interrupt fuch a pair of cooing doves. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 This compleats my confufion (dftde )Could Thinder 
 the man going on his knees, Sir ? 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL, 
 Not if he was faying his prayers to you, Letty ! 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 I have fomething to fay to you in private, girl with 
 that gentleman's leave ; you can at any time renew your 
 converfation. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 I was juft going as you came in, Sir. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 yes, like a pilgrim to his faint we faw you on your 
 knees. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Go then, and behave with more refpect to your mafter 
 than it is faid you do. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Me, Sir. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 Yes, yotiy Sir ; we hear ftrange ftories of your ingrati- 
 tude, and mifreprefentatiorrof him this damfel is in 
 
 your confidence i find 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 1 do not know what you mean, Sir. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL.
 
 A C O M E D Y. 31 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 You may retire, and juftify yourfelf another time. 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Damnation ! muft I furfer this Oh cruel difguife, 
 
 that fubje&s me to fuch painful reftraint and indignity 
 
 (Afuit) Exit Villamour. 
 
 (Florinda walk; about difcontpofed.} 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 There muft be fomething, dear fifter, there muft be 
 fomething in this - 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 In your head, brother but nothing in mine ex- 
 cept amazement at your queftions and fufpicions. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 Did not I tell you this fpark would make love to you? 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Come, come, it is this mighty foldier that has given you 
 an antipathy to his mafter. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Pray, was it that audacious mock gentlewoman, Mrs. 
 Letty, told you fo ? 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 No indeed, it is evident from your own behaviour, 
 which has become very tcfly and captious of late. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Becaufe I am quite Tick of this fooMm farce, and would 
 have thrown off my difguife before now, had 1 my father's 
 permiffion. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 I cannot at prefent indulge you, and as I agreed to it to 
 humour you, you muft pleafe me by wearing it a little 
 longer. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 If I do, it is very reluctantly, fir ; but I muft aflure 
 you Villamour's fervant is not at all blameable in this affair. 
 
 YOUNG
 
 2 s 'BIT F O R T A T, 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 Well, there is but one way of fettli ng it to the fatisfac- 
 
 tion of all parties Skipwell is fufpe&ed, fo we will per- 
 
 fuade his mafter to difcharge him Do not you think it 
 is the beft method, fitter l(ArMy) 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 O certainly ; and if that is done I muft likewife defire 
 Mrs. Letty not to come near me I hate her even more 
 than Villamour. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Do not be fo prejudiced, my dear ; fufpend your judg- 
 ment 'till you know him better I'll anfwer for it, Vil- 
 
 lamour is the man of your choice at laft. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Will not you allow me to have eyes, to have ears, fir ; 
 I have already heard and feen enough of him to deteft him. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 In fpite of this, I'll lay any wager that you'll marry Vil- 
 lamour, and with your own confent but 1 muft inter- 
 
 ceed for Skipwell^ and beg you will forgive him, fir. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 As he has not offended us, we have no right to be angry 
 with him. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 Then- fince he " fo teizesand he fo pleafes" my fifter, 
 to oblige her, father. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 We will leave him to his mafter. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Well, brother, fince you will not leave off amnfing 
 yourfelf at my expence I'll no longer pay for the en- 
 tertainment ; fo good bye, Mr. Banter. 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 OLD and YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 Hah ! hah ! hah ! 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Well, I think, Tom, by the time the piece is conclu- 
 ded, they will both have reafon to be heartily tired of their 
 characters, and fufficiently punifhed for the plot contrived 
 againft each other. [ Exeunt. 
 
 END OF ACT II.
 
 ACOMEDY. $S 
 
 ACT III. 
 
 Scene an Apartment in Mearewelft Htuft. 
 
 Enter Vnlamour and Skipwell. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Ah ! good Sir, my moft honoured matter I beg of 
 you ' 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 You impudent double faced impoftor. 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 O, Sir, do not take the game out of my hand when I 
 
 am going to muzzle it Do not ftop me when I am juft 
 
 entering the goal be compaffionate to an old faithful fer- 
 vant, whofe fortune entirely depends on your fecrecy. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 A rafcal to think 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 All true, Sir but I am not the frjt rafcal who has . 
 made his fortune. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 What ! would you have me let a worthy man be co 
 j&ened by your tricks, and his family deceived under my 
 name and character ? Would you difgrace your country t 
 you dog, you ? 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Ah ! Sir, what is a man's country to his own intereft f J 
 
 VlLLAMOUB. 
 
 If you never mention it again, the inftant I hare difco- 
 vered you to the family, 1 will have you difmantled of 
 your robes, and put in the pillory. 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 But Men to me, Sir this dear girl adores me- 
 loves me as a kitten does cream If 1 acquaint her of my 
 
 ilation, and that fhe ftill fhould have a liquorifh- tooth for 
 a healthy, clever, tight fellow like me though not a gen- 
 tkman 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Oh ! if they once know you they may do as they plcafe 
 - 'I walh my hands of it. 
 
 F SKIP.
 
 34 T r*T FOR TAT, 
 
 SKIPWELL.- 
 
 Then I'll immediately go and difcover myfelf to the 
 tender-hearted generous lady, unplume myfelf of lace and 
 feathers, and convince you that ii is not the colour or 
 quality of a coat, nor all your borrowed finery, that can 
 make any difference in her love, and as Mr. Homer fays, 
 jn Pope's Eye -lids, 
 
 When great Uly/es 
 
 VfLLAMOUR. 
 
 The fellow's in heroics. 
 
 SKIPWLL. 
 
 You will fee what I am able to do in paupere perfomt^ 
 as we fay in Latin and depend upon it that from car- 
 rying Brown Befs I (hall carry Madam Florinda, and have 
 clevernefs enough, from waiting at the fide-board, to fit 
 at the table j and that inftead'of jolting behind the coach, 
 become an agreeable companion in a poft-chaife. 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 All that pafles here is like a dream-* it is fcarcely 
 
 credible- but I wifh I could fee Letty, perhaps by dif- 
 
 covering myfelf to her, (he could relieve me from this em- 
 barafTment ; and yet to leave her would be the greateft 
 
 misfortune of all !!']! fee if I can find her- Ah ! 
 
 (he's here. 
 
 Enter Florinda: 
 
 VlLLAMOUR, 
 
 I was In fearch of you, Letty. 
 
 FLORINDA, 
 It was hard to find me, for I have loft myfelf (Going,} 
 
 VILLAMOUR (Stopping her.} 
 Stay, I conjure you, ftay, this is the laft time I (haU 
 
 trouble you it is on a matter of the greateft confe- 
 
 quence to your miftrefs and the honour pf the family. 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Tell it to themfelves then 1 never fee you, or hear 
 
 yoy, but you give me fome caufe of uneafinefs. 
 
 Vu,
 
 A C O M E D Y. 35 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 You have the fame effect on me- 'but know, that 
 matters will now wear different face from what they have 
 heretofore done. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Well fince you raife my curiofity, I'll hear you this 
 once, and this time only. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 But will you promife to be fecret ? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 /never yet betrayed any one. 
 
 VILLAMOUR.- 
 
 You only owe the confidence I am going to place in you 
 to the efteem I bear you. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Never mind the motive, but truft my fidelity and be- 
 lieve me. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Then know, that the man now fpeaking to you is not 
 what be feems. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 What arc you then ? (Impatient} 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 O, Letty, now is your time to triumph Is there any 
 f>ne coming ? 
 
 FLORINDA: 
 
 No 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 The fituation things are in forces me to this difcovery. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Well do not keep me in torture, I beg of you. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 The perfon now with your miiirefs is not what (he 
 takes him for ! 
 
 F 2 FLO-
 
 j* TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 What is he then ? 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 My fervant. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Andy ..... (with agitation.) 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 I rayfelf am - ViUamour ! 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Ah! 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 I hoped under this difguife to know your lady more per- 
 fectly before I declared myfelf - but the ftratagem has 
 entangled me I diflike the woman I ought to be mar- 
 ried to, and love the maid who fliould in me only have 
 found a new mafter. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 I'll keep my own council - he (ball not know me yet; 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 How would you have me a& ? Your miftrefs has fuch 
 a vulgar tafte, that (he's actually enamoured of my foot- 
 man ; and if I do not inftantly prevent it, the father will 
 confent to their nuptials - What am I to do? 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Your cafe is a moft extraordinary one indeed, Sir. 
 But firft of all I requeft your pardon for whatever has ap 
 peared difrefpe&ful or improper in my paft behavow ro 
 you. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Do not fpeak of it, it will only recall the diftancc be- 
 tween us, aud make me more wretched and difeonfolate. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 But f permit you, Sir, to revoke all the kind affection- 
 ate declarations made me, as I would not have you let 
 down your dignity, on a poor /want like me. 
 
 VIE-
 
 A C O M E D Y. 37 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 But though I cannot unite my fate with yours, Letty, 
 (fince I am not fortunate enough to gain your lovej yet 
 it is fome confolation that you declared you did not hate 
 me. 
 
 FLORINDA: 
 
 Hift 1 hear fomeby coming have a little pati- 
 ence with regard to your fervant matters are not fo 
 
 defperate as you think we will meet again immedi- 
 ately, and confult how to relieve you from this perplexing 
 affair. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 You (hall entirely dired me. 
 
 (Exit Villamwr. 
 
 Enter Young Meanwell. 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 So I have caught you again, fifter, and perhaps almoft 
 
 in the fame fituation Pray were you teaching the 
 
 young man his prayers again ? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 You may now fay whatever you pleafe, brother, for I 
 have _/#< agreeable news to tell you. 
 
 YOUNG MEONWELL. 
 What about? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Skipwell is not Skipwell nor Villamour Villemour. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 1 do not underftand you you fpeak in riddles. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 I had it juft now from himfelf. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 From whom pray ? or what is it, I cannot comprehend 
 you? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Come, my father muft be informed of it 1 fhall have 
 
 occafion for your afiiftance too 1 muft now concert a 
 
 plan to fccure the heart I before ^jetted rand requeft, 
 
 brother 
 
 82277
 
 j* TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 brother, that you will be very fecret, and not mention * 
 word of iu 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 O! never fear, 111 be fecret enough, for I cannot divulge 
 what I do not know 
 
 FLORINDA 
 
 Come along, brother, let uslofe no time ; there never 
 was any thing more propitious or more pleaiing than this 
 . [Exit baflily. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 I fee that Vdlamwr has thrown off the mafk at lair. 
 Here he comes I'll have fome fport with him. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 Stay, Skipwell, a word with you. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 What would you pleafe to (ay, Sir. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELI. 
 You have made love to our maid, Lettv, I underftand. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 How could one be in company with her, and refrain 
 from it, Sir? 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 Does (he receive you kindly ? 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 You would not have me fo ungallant as to tell, Sir- 
 But fuppofe y&* bad a partiality for me, how does it con- 
 cern/fir, Sir. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 A partiality for you ! a fine ftory truly - No - no 
 flic could not have fuch a defptcable opinion of herfelf as 
 to look at ooc/0 much beneath her hopes. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 So much beneath her hopes ! - 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 Yes, for I'll condefcend to f*#you, Sir, that I have a 
 very bniurtbit r*g*id and brotherly effeBlm for this girl, 
 
 and
 
 A C O M E D Y 39 
 
 and (he knows it, and it is her own fault if (he remains 
 Jong fmgle, let m . ^rher take it as be will. 
 
 VH.LA.MOCR. 
 
 O, this accounts for the nigh and ambitions tone my 
 Jady talks in {Afodt ) 
 
 YOUNG MEAKWEJ.I.. 
 I therefore cannot brook a lover o( your rank in her train. 
 
 VJLLAMOUR. 
 
 Faith ! I believe you, Sir, for I am not latisfied with 
 a rival likejrstf, as you muft of courfc bear away the prize 
 if fhe loves you in return. 
 
 YOUNG MEAN WELL. 
 
 Loves me in return do you imagine I am not deferr- 
 ing of it ? 
 
 VlLLAMOOK. 
 
 O, yes, Sir, bat you do not expect praife from oiujm. 
 fuppofeyour rival? 
 
 YOUNG MEAXWELL. 
 
 Pray who am I fpeaking to ? You feem a very conceited 
 Jund of a gentleman. 
 
 VlLLAMOUK. 
 
 Speaking to, Sir to SkipwelL 
 
 YOUSG MEANWELL. 
 
 Well, I defire I may never hear or fee any more of 
 your attempts on Lettft affeclions if I do, your mafter 
 muft correct you, or you will find me a different perfon to 
 deal with. [Exit Itung MtamotU. 
 
 VltLAMOUR. 
 
 Muft I bear tbefe repeated injuries, and have bth my 
 honour and my love infuited? Yet I think this attachment 
 cannot be mutual : however Lettj (ball clear upall doubts, 
 and one wa; or other difentangle me from this labyrinth of 
 gruuety, hope and perplexity. [Exit
 
 40 TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 Scene changes to another Apartment in JMeanweirs Houfe, 
 
 Enter Old Meanwell and Letty. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Sir, you told me you gave Villamour up entirely to my 
 
 management 1 took you at your word, and have now 
 
 taught him to hop after me like a pet magpie ; but do you 
 think my miftrefs will refign her pretenfions to him. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 O yes ; (he bids me tell you that (he has given up all 
 right and title to him, as you took fo much pains to train 
 him to your own liking. 
 
 LETTY. 
 And have I really your permiffion to marry him, Sir ? 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Have not I given it already ? You have my confent 
 
 without his afking it- but I muft lay one reftrition on 
 
 you to exculpate ourfelves 1 infill upon it, that you 
 
 will give him a hint who you are. 
 LETTY. 
 
 O Lord, Sir, if I give him the leaft hint, that (as my 
 lover himfelf wou'd fay) will be entirely * letting the cat 
 out of the bag.' 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 But you know he follows you about like a pet magpie 
 and he is fo much under your command that J defire you 
 will do it. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Well, for Heaven's fake retire, S5r-r -my enamorato's 
 
 to meet me this you know is the finifhing ftroke to 
 
 inake my fortune fo leave me 4 clear ftage, and fair 
 
 play. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL, 
 Acquit yourfelf handfomely then. 
 
 LETT.Y. 
 
 Never fear, Sir, and now compleat my conqueft ! 
 
 (Exit MeamueU. 
 
 What a lucky girl thou art, Letty O I lhall run wild 
 
 with
 
 A C O M E D Y. 41 
 
 With'my good fortune, and fooutfhine the world in drefs, 
 equipage, routes, mafquerad^s, balls, and I don't knevc 
 what !"' -But here comes my lover - 
 
 Enter Skipwell. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Have I at length found you, my dove? Ah! as the 
 play fay v Was it not unkind to leave me like a turkey 
 draping, all alone?' 
 
 LETTY. 
 Rather illiterate but no matter, his fortune makes 
 
 amends (Afide] 1 am fure, Sir, it is not my wim to 
 
 be abfcnt fjom you for I have drooped like a moultring 
 Canary bird^ fince we parted. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Oh ! you arc fweeter and dearer to me 'than molajjes 
 to a Yankee Doodle. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 And you are the very honey-comb, currant-jelly, and 
 tnarmalade of my affection. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Oh, the delicious words ! do let my lips fmack-ihem 
 
 up from yours 
 
 (Sings} I'm brim-full of love, and you're all over charms. 
 And like a lad of wax I muft melt in your arms. 
 
 (Kiffitg her) 
 LETTY. 
 Oh ! fye, Sir you are hpreffing upon one 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 O that is true pray, Mifs, accept this bucket of myrtle. 
 (Preferring fome myrtlt) 
 LETTY. 
 'Tis vaftly pretty, Sir. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 And like yourfelf, Ma'am, the more you fe^uetze it, th* 
 fweeter it is. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Oh ! Lord, Sir ! 
 
 G SLIP/
 
 42 TITFORTAT, 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Egad, as (he is in fo coming a humour, I had bettef 
 for fear of a difcovery -- Sweet, fugar plumb of affec- 
 tion, I am dying with impatience at the delay of our hap- 
 pinefs What fay you to a private match ! PJl go and 
 marry you inftamly, for I am broiling on Cupid's gridiron. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 I'll ftrike while the iron is hot How he jumps into 
 my wiflics ! (Afide) 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 Well, my primrofe, what fay you ? 
 
 LETTY. 
 Why, Sir> if I thought you would not confider jnc too 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 To'6 forward, mytitmoufe, not in the leaft, I mould 
 hate you if you was too bachvard - In the name of lovej 
 then, let the prieft get before the lawyer ; for I know one 
 at hand, who will tack us together before you can fay trap- 
 flick. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Oh, la, Sir, but what/hall I fay to my papa ? 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Oh ! what's always faid upon thefe occafions, Honey \ 
 We will come back and fall upon our marrow- bones, afk 
 pardon, and fay that our love was fo violent we could not 
 help it. 
 
 LETTY. 
 Well, on one condition, I'll cpnfent. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 Kame it quickly, then, fugar-candy of my foul - 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 That you will keep our marriage fecret, 'till I give you 
 leave to mention it. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Silent as a dumb man Come, then, my girl we 
 will fly to Father Tackum - JU1 throw my commiffion 
 at your feet. [Exeunt 
 
 See*
 
 A C O M E. D Y. 43 
 
 Scene a Room in Mennweir* flouft. 
 
 Enter 02 J and Tmn^ Meanwcll and Plonnda. 
 
 FLORTNDA. 
 
 If I did not love Villamour yoa muft own I (hould be 
 very ungrateful. 
 
 OLD MEANWKLL. 
 
 So you got a little out of him in the convention you 
 had together ? 
 
 YOUNO MEANWELL. 
 
 No, he was too crafty, and never thrown off his guard, 
 though I endeavoured to put his temper to the teft. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Well, I am very glad that he is the dupe of his own 
 ftratagem nothing however can be more flattering to 
 him than the difcretion with which you, Flora, nave hither- 
 to acted 
 
 YOUNO MEANWELL. 
 
 But how far has he proceeded, Sifter ; I hope his jea- 
 loufy of me will not have any adverfe confequences ? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 I have not the leaft reafon to be difiatisfied with him ;*- 
 and as to you, the next interview muft bring about an ex- 
 planation. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Why, girl, you have not vanity enough to expecl thet 
 he'll be fo defperate as to offer you his hand in your prefent 
 character ? 
 
 FLORINDA, 
 
 Yes. Sir, elfe he never fliall have mine but I know 
 
 we are deftined for each -other it was a match regiftered 
 
 above, and rhuft be accomplifhed here ; '.vhat obligations 
 
 1 owe you, Sir, for indulging my fcheme Villamour 
 
 can never think of the ilorv without loving me, and I'll 
 never talk of it, without loving him: it was laying the 
 foundation of our happinels tor lite it was the moft 
 propitious contrivance of chance -the mofi: lucky deception.-* 
 
 Q 2 YOUNG MEAN*-
 
 44 TITFORTAT, 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL, 
 
 Hey day! Sifter, how you run on, what a flood of 1 
 eloquence. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Well, if you end as you began, it will be the moft de- 
 lightful entertainment to all parties. 
 
 FLORINDAj 
 
 You will fee that immediately I tell you Villamour 
 is conquered, and I have him in my chains. t 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 And they are golden ones, which is more than he ex- 
 pected ; but I begin to pity his fufferings, and wifh him 
 relieved from his Solicitude. 
 
 FJLORINDA. 
 
 But I muft be witnefs to more before I difplay my com- 
 paflion. 
 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 
 To fee prudence lofe the victory in the conflict - > 
 Eh, Flora! 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 As much as to fay that he mould be fenftble of his folly 
 %nd difgrace, and yet fubmit to your fafcinaiwn ! What 
 a prefumptuous arrogance of felf-love J. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 It is the felf-love of a woman, father, and that never 
 varies from its object - but go to your pofts, and you'Jl 
 fee how I will compleat my conqueft. 
 
 ( Exeunt 
 
 Scene changes ts anciher Apartment in MeanweU f i Houfe, 
 Enter VUiamour and Skipwdl. 
 
 VlLLAMOUH. 
 
 Well, Skipwell, have you feen the lady and difcovered 
 yourfelf as I ordered you. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 AS \ have fworn fecrecy to my dulcinea about our mar- 
 riage, I nuai: diilemble a little (^/W^O yes, Sir, 
 
 1 told
 
 A C O M E D Y. 45 
 
 I told her I was not what' I feemed, that my real name 
 was Skrpwtll that i was only a poor foldier, and occa- 
 fionally your footman.-* Very well, my lad, faid (he,, 
 every body has fome rank and uniform on the ftage af life 
 -i-your livery cofts you nothing fo much the better lor 
 s both. 
 
 ViLLAMOUR. 
 
 What a ridiculous ftory you are telling me. 
 
 O, Sir, you may lead a woman with a cobweb though 
 you cannot drag her with a cable j and 1 have done it to 
 ibrne purpofe, for we are going to'bs tethered direcily. 
 
 -VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 What ! with the family's content. 
 SKIP WELL. 
 Marry come up, and what difgrace to her family, pray* 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 You are a very impudent fellow, Skipwell ! 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 And if it was not for a little impudence a mode/? m<t* 
 could not thrive in this world, Sir. I purfued iny way 
 and found it. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 It is not poflible ; I will therefore go myfelf snj ac- 
 quaint Mr. Meanwell how matters are fituated. 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Who! old decency, my father-in-law ? O, we 
 have him under our thumb, I aflure you- he is a very 
 good nufured, jolly, honeft cock, and has given his coo-* 
 lent already. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Pmaw ! you are a blockhead - Have you feen Lett/ 
 lately ? 
 
 ' SlUPWELL. 
 
 etty ! not that I recollect- - but I have other fi{h to 
 fry, and above taking notice of fuch low cattle as waiting- 
 maids' I have given up that kind of game to you, Sir. 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 Vanity or love has turned the fellow's brain, I believe. 
 
 SKIP-
 
 4* T I T F O R T A T, 
 
 SKIPWELI* 
 
 You are free and eafy 5 however when I am marritff 
 and fettled, I will be glad to fee you at my houfe in town 
 
 and hope whenever you vifit England, you will make 
 
 we your home, and that we will live together as old 
 friends and new acquaintances. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 You do me a great deal.of honour. Sir. 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 But I fee your waiting-maid there at the end of the 
 gallery perhaps you wi(h to/ee her for I muft to my 
 love 
 
 Exit Jinging < I kifs'd and prattled with fifty '-Jive 
 maids, &c." 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 What an original he is But now for Lctty. 
 Enter Florinda* 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Stay, Letty, fray I intreat you ftay I have fome* 
 thing very ferious to fay to you. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 To me, Sir ? 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 It troubles me to leave you without convincing you I 
 do not think myfelf to blame in fo doing. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Why need you juftify yourfelf to me> Sir, 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 It is my wifh to be undeceived but Young Mean- 
 well loves you ; he told me fo, and with an honourable^ 
 brotherly ajfettion \ 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Very true 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 And I conclude' you are fenfible of his pa/lion from the 
 indifference with which you treat me t 
 
 FLO-
 
 A C O M E D Y. 47 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 I muft own I love him equal to myfelf, but I never can 
 be bis wife, and he knows it. 
 
 VlLJLAMOUR. 
 
 What acontradi<5tion !* -Explain yoxirfelf, I conjure 
 you, and at once tell me your iituation, as my happinefs 
 is flaked upon it. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Tell a man that is leaving me. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 I will not leave you 1 can never leave you. But 
 
 fmce you know I adore you above ( every woman upon, 
 earth. Give me then pofleulon of a hand and heart I 
 value above the world. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 What in fpite of degrading yourfelf in fpite of your 
 father's difpleafure ! 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 He will forgive me the inftant he has feen you as 
 to the world's opinion, my happinefs will fmile at its 
 malice, and your worth be an antidote againft the venom 
 of its cenfure. 
 
 Enter Old and Young Meanwe.ll. 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 * Againft the venom of its cenfure/ 
 
 OLD and YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 Ha ! ha ! h.a \ ha ! 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 We have heard it all, not a fyllable has efcaped us I 
 find you have not waited for my confent. 
 
 Enter Letty and Skipwell. 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 Did not we tell you it would come to this? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 Oh, my deareft father ! 
 
 VILLAMOUH. 
 
 What do I hear htr father .' 
 
 SKIP.
 
 48 TIT FOR TAT, 
 
 SKIPWELL, 
 And v/hat do /hear -her father ! (Afide.) 
 
 VlLLAMOUR. 
 
 You, her father, Sir 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Yes, Villanrour the fameftratagem, the fame decep- 
 tion was contrived by mutual chance agairrft each other. 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 Villamour ! and who theduce have I married ? (dfcde.) 
 SKJPWELL. 
 
 (Going up to Letty] Who the devil-are you, Ma'am? 
 
 LETTY. 
 And who theduce are you, Sir ? (To Skipwell.) 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 This is my footman Madam (to Letty.) 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 And this is my waiting- maid Sir ? (to Skipwell.) 
 
 LETTY. 
 O, how my fine hopes are vaniQied ! 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Zounds ! but what a tumble I have got ! 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Come, Skipweli, no more of this but a you and 
 
 Mrs. Letty have been a&ing for us on this occafion, J 
 (hail endeavour to reward you to your fatisfa&ion. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 Ye?, our good fortune (hall contribute to theirs 
 they muft drrop their grandeur and titles, but they (hall 
 amply experience my kindnefs. 
 
 SKIPWELL. 
 
 Then, Mrs. Rib, I take you with all my foul for 
 
 Skipiveli't himfelf again." 
 
 LETTY. 
 
 And, Bone of my Bone, I am yours with all my heart- 
 and you know we fwore it, ' in fpite of all the changes an4 
 chequers of this immortal life.' 
 
 OJLB
 
 A C O M E D Y. 49 
 
 OLD MEANWELL. 
 
 Well, Flora, did not I tell you, that Villamour would 
 be the man of your choice at laft ? 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 You told me but the truth indeed, fir. 
 YOUNG MEANWELL. 
 Will Villamour forget the affronts I gave to Skipwell ? 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 I not only forgive but thank you. (takes hh hand.} But 
 what delights me moft are the proofs I gave you, Florinda* 
 of the purity and difintereftednefs of my pafllon. 
 
 FLORINDA. 
 
 And you may judge of the value I fet upon your heart, 
 by the means I took to gain it. 
 
 VILLAMOUR. 
 
 Here, however, my dear Florinda, let us jointly re- 
 nounce all difguife and diffimulation j and let us both, for 
 the future, by mutual franknefs and fincerity, endeavour 
 Co atone to each other for our mutual deception. 
 
 FINIS. 
 
 H
 
 Lately Publifhed. 
 
 I. MATCH FOR A WIDOW, a Comic Opera, 
 by the Author of this Piece, is. 6d. 
 
 II. JULIA, or THE ITALIAN LOVER, a. Tra- 
 gedy, by R. Jephfon, Efq. is. 6d. 
 
 III. THE FIRST FLOOR, a Farce, by Mr; 
 Cobb, is. 
 
 IV. THE SULTAN, OR A PEEP INTO THE 
 SERAGLIO, a Farce, 6d. 
 
 V. ENGLISH READINGS, a Comic Piece, is.
 
 A 000 000 839 1 
 
 LES