mil s-Mii i-JC/i s^fhi - l rxi «>«« HYPOCRISY, A SATIRE, IN THREE BOOKS. eocooooooeoeeoooooooooooeoo»oooooooaoooos' much mischief as Mr. Dennis. * "Galeatum sero duclli jioetutet.'*' HYPOCRISY. 3 Nought might these wretches 5 mad revenge control, Had they great Caesar's power — but Caesar's soul ; Fools o'etlook benefits, but wrongs o'errate, Sluggish in gratitude, alert in hate ; But Caesar's mind was cast in different mould, As warm to friendship, as to vengeance cold ; Lord of himself, as of the world, he chose To conquer still by benefits his foes; Christians ! that memory was a pagan's lot, That nothing e'er but injuries forgot. Hail then, ye dunces, dignified abuse, And cheer with loud anathemas my muse, Blast not with cruel smile the Poet's bays, Nor blight them with the mildew of your praise; * Rail on, and railing fan the kindling hope I may at least in one thing j* rival Pope ; Whose pigmy faes ennobled by the hand That slew them, hence alone some fame command ; J Their very names from U& had been concealed, But that their darts stick in a Giant's shield. § Thus the vile lead that laid great Nelson low, In gold and chrystal set, becomes a show. * "Pessimum inimicorurn genus laudantes." Indiscriminate encomiasts are our worst enemies. flu the bate of Dunces. % "Give me half a Crown," Siid Swift to Pope, "and I will engage that pos.erity shall know no more of your enemies than you chuse to tell them." § The Dunci-td. J The points ©f resemblance here are, the yileness of the 4 HVPOCRISY. Then let your anger smoke, it cannot blaze, Your friendship ruin is, your satire praise : Mistake each motive, and each act misstate, Those 1 must pity, 1 can never hate ; And fools will have in verse, or prose, their long Prescriptive right, to be for-ever wrong ; Whilst I your slanders to improvement turn, As fire but brightens what it cannot burn ; And truth, with fear and cautious care pursue, Fearless, and careless what may thence ensue. Those who reform the least, will most resent, ' Quick to revile, but tardy to repent ; Yet grateful, half your rage ye might suppress, Could ye but half what I've rejected guess ; instruments, and the circumstance of their becoming notorious by an attack which proved quite unable to wound the fame of those great men. Mr. Beattie, Surgeon of the Victory, is in possession of the ball that caused Nelson's death ; I am in- formed it is set in chrystal in a very curious and costly manner, and part of the epaulette, which it carried away is still to be seen adhering to it. Were Great Britain to apostrophise' would she not exclaim with .Eneas "Spoliis indute meorum'' and reflecting on the loss of her gallant Son, would she not add in nearly The same words with Evander, "Sollicita; O utinam dederas promissa Parenti Cautius ut ssevovelles te credere Marti ! " In the library of Buonaparte were lateh observed thebusts of two Englishmen, Nelson and Fox ; an Italian translation of Ossiau vus lying on the table, apparently much thumbed* HYPOCRISY. 5 But, should ye snarling o'er these fragments starve, We may some second course hereafter carve ; Though of the two I'd rather that your rage Should lash, than your applause disgrace my page, Since such to please we must not go too far, As peace with such more dangerous is than war, Lest some cracked wretch that cannot read should write, And with his clumsy praise undo me quite. By approbation's loud unmeaning grin, A Blockhead thought stern Johnson's * heart to win, Whate'er escaped the Doctor's lips, the Spark Exclaimed most witty, yet profound remark! Sam, whom a Dunce's admiration teased, Addressed the Coxcomb — Sir it seems you're pleased, * E > t , esuinptuous as it may be deemed, I Cannot but think that Johnson's genius has been overrated. He exhibits no bad specimen of the good effects of a little seasonable bullying ; nor is every literary pugilist so fortunate in his bottle holders. But in addition to this, his talents were blazoned by the Church, she being, and with iea-on, proud of so orthodox a Champion in a coloured coat ; at a time too when Addison was no more, and when her /ay defenders were not numerous. His imitation of the third and tenth Satires of Juvenal he never afterwards equalled, and it is melancholy to consider that we are indebt- ed to his necessities for his best efforts. "Ingenii venter, largi- tor." it was observed by one who knew him well, that if for- tune hud thought fit to place the Doctor in a field-of clover, be would have lain down and rolled in it. 6 HYPOCRISY. I hope (and rising grasped his oaken wand.) I have said nothing vou can understand. Give me the Critic formed in ancient School, No placeman's pensioner, no party's tool, No hireling, doomed, by venal printers fed, To scribble scandal for- his daily bread ; Who dares refuse, tho' courts and rulers frown, To write, against his judgement, Genius downi "But prays that wit and talent may succeed Alike on this, or that side of the Tweed ; And owns, e'en while he doth my faults reprove, 'Tis easier far to find them, than remove ; An ear submissive may 1 ever lend To such, and lose the critic in the friend. Did such the deed command, I'd not refuse To burn * the dearest offspring of my muse, And grateful learn, while CYabbeand Nature smile, From them, to shun the modern fustian style : Where Metaphors, like an ill-woven veil, Expose each blemish, and each charm conceal ; V here Similes like nought in heaven or earth, Destroy the muse that gives the monsters birth ; * This brings to my recollection, the advice which Dr. Johnson gave Mrs. Macaulay. This Lady having submitted her History of England to his inspection, attempted to palliate its faults by observing that she had a gn at many irons in the fire. 1 lie Doctor coolly replied, "Theu I recommend you, Madam, to put your history where your Irons are." HYPOCRISY. 7 Where wit to puns and low conceits descend*, And swoln bombast begins where grandeur ends : Where groveling thoughts mid cumbrous words expire, As heaps of fuel choak the feeble fire. Such Authors to fine writing make pretence. Yet spurn that rare endowment, common sense j These Milton's measure not his style command, And filch that Master's harp, but not his hand; Through tomes of epic lumber, labour hard, Resembling but in blindness .Sinai's bard; Now Southey's Madoc quits the groaning stall, To visit at the Grocer's, Sotheby's Saul ; Now o'er this deluged land Exodiads bring. A greater plague than all the plagues they sing- W herein poor Pharaoh deems it sad to sink With Hoyle, * drowned o'er again in seas of Ink. Hiffh thoughts from heaven derive illustrious birth! Words are the fickle "daughters of die Earth>" Some Drivellers anxious this extreme to fir, Call want of sense and sound — Simplicity; * Mr. H. must not expect to pass current as an Epic Poetv on the mere credit of having written ^o many thousand linen of. blank verse, until he can persuade mankind to shut their eyes* OpjitafyiMx MEN !i! «//£fC-£ } «*?•» §'n)iw »-A»r ; i 8 HYFOCR 1SY. Or prove, if for themselves they think 'at all, In mere absurdities original ; Each yellow leaf that falls, each flower that dies, These mere describers with a theme supplies. With microscopic eye, these Nature guage, And rather spell than read her ample page; More skilled in words than sentences, they get No farther still than Nature's alphabet ; What in acuteness * she may gain, their muse In comprehension is condemned to lose ; They start, Ah labour lost, to win the prize, Then stopping short, each other criticise. Thus mongrel curs, while Sportsmen cry — for shame ! Each other worry, when they miss the game. But in the offing what strange sail appears ? Critics ! and Printers ! hail her with three cheers ! Fresh from the Tweed she seems, yet falls to leward Tho' steer'd by skilful Scott, The Anna Seward, f Freighted with rhymes for England, and we're told Brings Constable's piled quartos in her hold ! J * An eye so acute as to perceive the motion of the hour hand of a clock, would not be able to ascertain the time of the day. f See Anna Seward's Poetical works, edited by Walter Scott. % Mr. Constable is in possession of t tcelve quarto volume of this Lady's correspondence, which she observed were but one twelfth part of what she had written. HYPOCRISY. 9 like Palinurus, * Scott foresees a wreck, Yawns at the helm, then 'dozes on the deck. Death stronger far than Gallery-gods, or men, Drained not the plethora of Seward's pen. But ah, to greet them, not a Muse will rise, Though magazines lift females ■)• to the skies ; Whose Volumes vast, by sleep refreshed in vain, Just shake their dust off, but to sleep again; Exhausted Acres J are not fertile fields, Tho' British taste to French politeness yields. That ample wreath by Sydney borne away, Left his poor Poet not one sprig of bay ; Wielding, like Csesar, both the pen and sword, His own gazettes his glories best record ; * Te Palinure petens tibi tristia Somnia portans Insonti. It will be evident to every reader of this edition of Miss Seward's works, that her Editor, Mr. Scott, foresees the fate of his Cargo, and its "alacrity in sinking." But having imposed upon himself the task of introducing these "Magnas Nugas" to the public, he has been prudent enough not todoit "Magno Conatu." Considering what the public have a right to expect from that time which such a writer as Mr. Scott may dedicate to literary exertions, 1 conceive every lover of the muses will exclaim "His vellem nunquam nugistotaistadedisset tempora.'' t Phyllidas Hissipylas Vatum et plorabile si quid. J See a republication of Mrs. Cowley's Ep ; c Poem the Siege of Acre. B 10 HYPOCRISY. In the short pause of fury, blood, and rage, His fire unquench'd illumes his ardent page ; * Fierce from the fervor of the unfinished fight, With the free spirit of a youthful Knight, He boldly blazons each brave feat, and name, And stamps their memory on the scroll of fame. But lo! the living tempest sweeps the plain, He springs indignant to the field again; Again the war-cloud blackens all the beach, Again he meets it, in the deadly breach ! In vain Napoleon gives the fatal shock, An heart like thine, O Richard, guards thy Rock ; That fatal force which makes whole Empires fall, Finds Acre's ruins an impervious wall. Such mighty deeds transcend a woman's pen, The rage of combat is a theme for men ; * Addison, at the request of Lord Godolphin, and in consi- deiation of a sum of money, manufactured into a pcem the Battle of Blenheim. This poem was satirically termed a ga- zette in mime. To say this of Mrs. Co« lev's poem would he a compliment, as her hero, Sir Sydney, has evinced in his dis- patches the elegance of the Scholar, attempering the fire of the most favoured knight of Chivalry. .In short his whole narra- tion i* a rom nice, but written with the sternest pen of Truth. The Port of Acre was formed, taken by Richard Cceurde I. ion, in conjunction with Philip; and on this ocraion history pre- sents us with a solitary instance of a King of France and Eng- land fighting together in defence of one common cause. HYPOCRISY. 11 As soon her hand might rule the scythed Gar, As justly pafht th' infuriate scenes of War. In the light sock with sportive ease she treads, Or graceful follows where fair Burney leads ; Or, with the Enchantress from the Tuscan cave, Whence wizard bards oft charmed their Arno's wave, Seeks, with the hurried step and gaze of fear, Udolpho's turrets, * and the forest drear; But let her not attempt Ulysses' bow, Nor rashly strive Achilles' lance to throw. Hail Devon, ^ hail each rhime re-echoing stream, Famed for poor poetry, and richest cream ! That might with love of tea the Nine inspire, While Epic Bards by dozens blow the fire ; Inclosures stop, with geese each common fill, And send us, Neckingar, thy patent mill ; % * Mrs. RadclifFe's Mysteries of Udolpho, and herRomancI: of the Forest, the two mightiest efforts of a female pen ! f A Lady at Exeter lately gave a tea party to six Gentle- men : on comparing notes, it came out that every individual of this marvellous Symposium had writteu an Epic Poem. I shall not mention their Names, as their knuckles are still sore from the gentle rapping of some Northern Critics ; but on mu- tually condoling with each other, on this tender subject, they were heard to exclaim, Et nos ergo manum feruise subuximus, et nos. This covey of bards was a meeting purely accidental ; miserum est cum tut ubique vatibus occurras. % A Mill invented in Germany, to restore paper spoiled by, 12 HYPOCRISY. Let Printer's devils too, "a grisly band," The flood-gates lift of ink, and drown the land , Or stop, by all we've read, and more we fear To read, O scribblers, stop your blind career ; Forbear with hands profane, and gallic rage, To revolutionise * the British page ! Ye make no figure with your feeble trash But, like the Whip club, merely cut a dash / Few authors write too little, Nine in Ten Are ruined by the fulness of their pen ; Thus, while but few from rigid fasting die, Feasts, with their thousand victims, death supply ; Like wealth, with toil and hazard fame is gained, But easily increased if once obtained ; Though wits, like bankrupts, oft their golden crop Have lost, for want of knowing when to stop. Some start at highest speed, yet faster still Write down themselves, the more they work the quill ; As those who first lead off the mazy dance, Descend each step, and sink as they advance. printing to its former texture, and whiteness. The old excuse for not writing, peritutee parcere chartie, is therefore now done aw ay. * For some excellent remarks on this subjecf, see the Edin- burgh Review on the different publicat'ons of Messrs, Soutbey and Wordsworth; Arcade* Ambo, Et canture pares, et respondfre parati. HYPOCRISY. 13 But shall these Dravvlers dare to form a. style, And Pope, and Swift unheeded stand the while? Shall such be read, and Gray be thrown aside, And dust that Harp, the muse's solace hide? As though its chords the graces had not strung, As if e'en sorrow smiled not while he sung ! As though, while prejudice and Johnson* frowned, He had not been high Priest of Phoebus crowned. Mourn Conway's heights, if Gray be doomed to die, Mourn the departed dew of Sacred Poesy ! O, when these mighty Masters cease to charm, May life's red tide no more my bosom warm ; * "Modeste de tanto Viro pronunciandum*" But on the Dr's unfortunate criticism of Gray, G/Wakefield thus expresses himself, "If at any time we feel ourselves dazzled by Dr. Johnson's bright and diffusive powers of understanding, we may turn for relief to his criticisms upon Gray, and to his prayers and meditations." But he makes up for this in ano- ther place, thus, "I esteem his live3 of the English Poets to be the noblest specimen of entertaining and solid criticism that modern times have produced, well worthy of ranking on the same shelf with Aristotle, and Quintilian." From this last sentence the hallowed shade of Milton turns with indignation; the salt that will preserve the Lives of the Poi-t>. is to be found in the comparison that woik contains of Pope and Dryden, and in the account of the metaphysical Poets. For the respective merits of Johnson and Wakefield on Gray, vide appendix. By the bye, Gray's two finest odes narrowly escaped the fate to which Virgil had doomed hisJEneid; in consequence of some fastidious cavils of Mason, to whose perusal Gray had submitted them. Mason criticising; Grav ! Anser — Olorem ! 14 HYPOCRISY. My refuge, and my prize, their hallowed page My youth delighted, and shall cheer my age ; Tlieii* glorious track with trembling hope I view, Too fond to quit, too feeble to pursue ; Nor can I, Darwin, tinsel o'er my rhimes, To suit the tawdry taste of modern times, Though Ladies weep in sentimental showers, Their tears may not revive thy fading floieers. Thy prize a tulip, honey* thy pursuit, Poor bee ! Thou didst for blossom lose the fruit. I cease on ashes scarcely cold to tread, 'Tis vain to lecture, harsh to blame the dead. I too, more pleased to learn than others teach, Had on this subject rather hear than preach : Remote from scholars as from books I live, And want, believe me, that advice I give: But memory must the place of books supply, Wit's f friend, Invention's treacherous ally. * Abundat dulcibus vitii«. f It will be obvious to any reader of Hudibras, that memory was the most faithful handmaid of the Author's wit. This it was that sr> readily presented him with the most unexpected and remote resemblances ; drawn from things, and circum- stanccs,uith which his profound erudition had previously stored his mind. Mere reading without memory never could have effected this. We are told writing makes an exact man, speak- ing a ready man, and reading a full man 1 fear we might often add a dull man. It was well said by *>ome one of him- self, "I should have been as stupid as the Commentators, if HYPOCRISY. 15 O Tbou to whom the talents rare belong To explore the source, and rule the tide of song ! O Thou, deemed tit the Critic's office high To fill, Preceptor, Guide of Poesy ; Serene that canst, with wisdom's tempering rein The foaming Heliconian Steed restrain ; Or, with ambition's spur his might provoke, To spurn at imitation's servile yoke; O come ! I shall at thy tribunal kneel And seek from thij decision, no appeal : From thee, the chilling frown shall not offend, Nor keen reproofs, that what they chide, amend; Spare not the knife, the caustic use, no groan Shall 'scape my lips ; — my Muse is all your own. Th' obscure illumine, and the gross refine, Prune the redundant, lop the faulty line; Teach me the leaves to thin, t' increase the fruit, To make the blossom wit, sound sense the root. For wit, though Butler own it, hath been shown To be no longer wit, too thickly sown ; I had read as much." Two men shall read the same Authors, with the same diligence ; one shall have a good memory, the other a bad one ; the difference between them will be this; the former keeps a shop well assorted, and well arranged ; and ean oblige his friends with any article at a moment's notice; the latter also keeps a shop, which is equally full, but in the utmost disorder, and confusion ; in >o much that he is entirelv at a loss where to look for anv article in demand; 16 HYPOCRISY. As Diamonds set teo close, in solid mass, Appear not diamonds, but a lump of glass. AVhere all is wit * Men think that none is there, As stars are hid in light, and lost in glare. which therefore his customers are likely to go without, unless they can find it themselves. * Pope carried this rule too far when he observed, "Rather than all things wit, let none be there." But of all the rules laid down by him, this is the only one the moderns have reli- giously observed. It has been remarked that there is not a single joke in all Demosthenes; Cicero's two witticisms, or rather puns, are wretched ; Milton's attempts of this kind are, if possible, worse J Mr. Pitt, on one occasion, only, ventured on wit; and Burke's quotation on seeing Wilkes chaired by the mob, "Numerisque fertur lege solutis ;" is re- corded as the only witty thing uttered by him. But on the other hand, the Earl of Chatham and Mr. Sheridan are shining instances that wit is not incompatible with the highest flights of eloquence. If we are to believe the Commentators, an union of the sublime and the witty, is impossible. Two in- stances however of such an union, I think, may be found in the two following passages, which must conclude this ram- bling note. "Superior beings when of late they saw, An human form expound all nature's law, Admired such wisdom in a mortal shape, And showed a Newton as we show an Ape." •'For lo)'alty is still the same, Whether it win or lose the Game, True, as the dial to the sun, Although it be not shined upon." HYPOCRISY.' 1? Sons of the Stagy rite, all such draw nigh, Clothed with an unassuming dignity, And break that sceptre formed Of brass and lead t By trading * critics brandished o'er our head ; Who on some mangled •)* author doomed to dine, O'er faultless works in sullen silence pine. More short-lived than the carcase they devour, Like carrion flies they bounce, and buzz an hour. Were writers perfect, critics were undone, With them the greatest fault is — to have none. On specks alone and blemishes they live, On foulest blood as leeches fastest thrive ; Tho' stern as Mulgrave, on his quarter-deck, Like crabs J they make no meal without a wreck. * The public are not fully aware how widely the good or ill effeets produced by impartial or interested criticism extend themselves; neither do men duly consider how deeply its de- crees may influence the decisions of that important law, the law of opinion. Horace Wal.iole has this observation, "The manoeuvres of bookselling are now equal in number to the stratagems in war ; publishers open and shut the sluices of re- putation as their various iuteiests lead them ; and it is become more and more difficult to judge of the merit or fame of recent publications." f "No beggar is so poor but he can keep a cur, and no au- thor is so beggarly but he can keep a critic," J The resemblance will be more complete if v»e reflect that an engagement by tea isas great a feast to the crabs, a& a paper War by land is to the critic.-. C IS HYPOCRISY. Self-constituted kings of A, B, C, Shielded in their majestic title — We, * In solitary garret they reside, Which with congenial spiders they divide; Like them, in flimsy lines their labours ply r And catch an Author, as these catch a fly. Such judges stamp all Authors tame and trite, That cannot contrarieties unite : The style sublime and bold, wants common sense ; The modest, strength ; the nervous, diffidence. Have we botli fire and force, they quote against one The Prince of namby-pamby — sheepish Shenstone -, As Porteus plausible, as Cottle cold, As Wordsworth wild, as soaring Southey bold; All these extremes at once, and more than these, Must they unite, that would such Critics please ; Who guard the tree of knowledge ; less intent To taste themselves, than others to prevent ; Like eunuchs, whom stern Solymans employ To watch o'er beauties they can ne'er enjoy. * The Virgin Queen condescended sometimes to a little flir- tation. Shakespeare whs performing the part of a king. The t)\< at:e was small, "Parva fuit, si prima velis eleraenta referrf, Roma." Queen Elizabeth's box vus contiguous 10 the stuge » she purposely dropped her handkerchief, upon the bcKm't at the fiet of Shakespeare, bavii g a mind to try whether her poet would stoop from his assume.! majesty. She was mis- taken, "Take up our sister's handkerchief," was his prompt and dignified enter, to one of the actors in his train. HYPOCRISY. 'TO Frowns undeserved, misplaced severities, The modest only silence, and the wise ; But fools, through folly bold, through blindness rash, Still scribble faster from the critics lash. Nor critics, speakers, commons, lords, nor gods Can gag a dunce; nor ushers, nor black rods! Th' astonished senate saw despair and shame Gibbon's * proud periods into silence tame ; But hears, tho' called to order, many a dolt Fearless as F r, shoot his random bolt. * It is well known that Gibbon never attempted to speak in the house of Commons, though highly gifted with many of the requisites of oratory. The feelings that prevented h:m, he thus explained to a friend, "The good speakers filled me with despair, the bad ones with apprehension." The imbecili- ty also of Hare and Addison, in the House of Commons, form- ed a curious contrast with theiracknow^edged powers out of it; the latter, indeed, did not shine even in conversation, on which account it was wittily observed of him, that although he never had a guinea in his pocket, he could at any time draw for a thousand pounds upon his Banker. Lord Shaftesbury ex- perienced a temporary embarrassment of this kind, on introdu- cing his motion for extending the privilege of Counsel to those attainted of High Treason ; but he immediately adduced the very embarrassment under which he then laboured, as t lie strongest argument for the necessity of that very privilege for which he was contending. Thus d d that great genius, like Antaeus, gather strength from his fall ; and from the awkward situation in which he felt himself placed, b- ut him that pleases rather than disgusts'. Most of his e- meudations were conceived in this spirit, "meo periculo, re«* pugnaisiibus omnibus j" and at times by way of climax, "ipso auctore." But with all his faults, he might repeat that he had fo gotten more than mwt of our modern Critics have tvpr HYPOCRISY. 21 Such judges, (did but ye in Court preside,) Turn'd criminals, in shame their heads must hide. Ah with those mighty Dead 'tis hardly fair I grant, our mushroom Critics to compare ; For in that war where thousands fall, the best Atone of ages firmly stand the test. No wonder then, if such recruits should yield To Veterans, who so long have kept the field; Such daily die, like thorns that choak the land, To clear that wood where Parr * and Porson stand. learned ; or to use another favourite expression of his, "what he did know,and what they rfowo* know, would make a large Book. '" * I have heard my Father relate the following anecdote, it may be authentic, as he was extremely intimate with one of the Parties. Dr. Samuel Gash had carried away in his head, an amazing cargo of Greek, from Eton and Cambridge, into Warwickshire ; there it grew a little mouldy. Dr. Parr paid him a literary visit : so much Greek was quoted, and talked, amidst such a dearth of English, that if Lord Monboddo had been present, he might have fancied himself transported to his beloved Attica. "When Greek meets Greek, then comes the tug of War." After a very late hour, for these Grecians were no starters, poor Gash knocked under, confessing himself out- greeked, out smokedy and out-quoted; but he concluded his concession, with this apology ; that he had lived so Ioi.g in the country, insulated as it were, from alt literary society, that he was become '«Ba§j?a§os t*i\.» /3a§/?a§a?." Dr.P. without the slight- est hesitation, or a moment's pause, consoled the vanquished Grecian with this fine fragment (1 think) of Menander, i( avyt (3ag^a|0? ; 22 HYPOCRISY. Such live, but how, men neither know nor care, And die, men ask not when, and mark not where. But while they may, in short-lived monthly page, They fret and fume their hour upon the stage ; Through thick and thin they slash and criticize, E'en from the Theban Bard they tear the prize ; More nice than wise, their blind resentment wreak On Fox's English, or on Pindar's * Greek. Their insect-eye each trifling blemish sees, But grasps not Demosthenic Demotes. There are, who deaf, a ticking time-piece near, But nought sublime, nor grand, nor distant, hear ' So these, while syllables their minds engage, Mark not the mighty thunder of the page ! These captious cavillers, as Stoics cool By taste and feeling judge not, but by rule; A pliant leaden rule, that every hour Can bend to party, prejudice, or power. They read the Bards, their Masters, but to start Tcacliers of those fk>m whom they learnt their art. * Some Reviewers lately fell foul on an unfortunate passage of Greek. After proving, to their own great satisfaction, and as they supposed, to the chagrin of Mr. P. Knight, that his Greek was a barbarous modem jargon, Mr. K thus replies; —"Gentlemen, if you will turn to such a page, and such a verse, you will find the passage you have made yourselves so merry withal, to be verbatim a quotation from Pindar ; if Pindar's Greek is not good enougn for you, I am very sor- rv for it." HYPOCRISY. 23 But Avon's Swan ! their cumbrous chains defies, Splendid Transgressor of dull Unities; On towering wing he soars, that prize to gain That lies beyond the Critics' scant domain. Each monument of taste these Goths deface, To build their own vile hovel in its place ; With savage joy the ruined pile survey, And hunt amid the marble, for the clay ; Thus Cossacks, when the Turk their fury fled, Destroyed each Mosque and Palace for its lead. 'Tis well their wants these hireling pens divide, And make them fight, like Swiss, on either side ; Else might these mercenaries, kept in pay By Booksellers, in night blot out the day; Thus a third "Deluge learning might o'errun," And Critics end what Goths and Monks begun ! For in the Tenants of the Roic, we view The Lords of Authors, and of Critics too; The Row ! that goodly Paradise of Fools, \\ here, o'er the Tree of folly, Dulness rules: Here Dedicators that can white- wash jet, And Editors of Epitaphs to let ; Puffers and Newsmen, Authors, Auctioneers, Conductors of Reviews, * and Pamphleteers, * A witty, but anonymous writer thus addresses the Review- ers. "Herein Ties tho gand secret of your art te hit the vu]« 24 HYPOCRISY. With all the black Militia of the Trade, * At Lintot's Levee punctually parade. Here Reputations much the worse for wear Are cured, that seemed to need a Change of air ; Here stolen Ideas vamped and gilt, receive New shapes their lawful owners to deceive ; Here reams of fulsome flatteries appear, The squalid resurrection j" of Rag-fair I Still sheltering Vermin^ though to rank restored, The shreds % that clothed a Beggar, screen a Lord* nerable heel of each literary Achilles ; no work of genius can unite opposite characters of excellence ; massive grandeur is without the grace of lightness; and what is beautiful and airy, attains not the sublime. All the merits of the first writers, may be compressed in one impressive sentence ; the Qualities adverse to their genius will afford pages ! Here then we have discovered an inexhaustible fountain of criticism, from whence the "waters of bitterness'" can never cease to flow. If a Work be solid and instructive, abuse it for not exhilirating its readers with pleasantry and wit ; or if it be seasoned with wit and pltasuntry, damn it for not being solid and instructive. In a labeur of painful erudition, exclaim, how heavily it moves ! If* it displays the charms of composition, lament over those su- perficial graces ! Throw into your articles an artful prodigali- ty of the pour and the contrc ; thus at the expense of one au- thor, you will tickle a Thousand Readers ! What odds in your favour my lads ! !" * A term which the fraternity of Booksellers have appro- priated to themselves. f "Miraturque novas frondes." $ Itis not improbable that a noble Peer, as for instance Lord HYPOCRISY. 25 Bards leave these precincts rich, that sought them poor, For a Maecenas * stands at every door; North, (in whose wicker-work plans we discover the cradle of the French Revolution,) may have had a dish of flattery served up to him, on the tattered remains of his own chemise. If in this shape, we trace the genealogy of a Panegyric, we may ex- claim, "Patronyrniea hrec sunt," his Lordship — his Gentle- man— his Gentleman's Gentleman —a 13eggar — a Jew — Rag fair — the Row : from thence "gratior et pulchro veniens in corpore," it expands its white wings, and revisits its first titled Proprietor, in the form of a defence ! or a dedication ! * Mr. Gibbon had invited a few friends to dine with him ; just as they were taking their seats at table, they were all asto- nished by a thundering lap at the front door. A Patron of Literature from the purlieus of the Row, had chosen tins parti- cular moment to wait on Mr. Gibbon. "Tell the Gentleman I am particularly engaged." — "I have Sir, but he begged I would inform you his business is of a literary nature, and of the greatest importance." "Well, Well, show him into the Library." When they met in the Library, the Patron of Geni- us thus addressed the Historian; "You must know, Sir, that L am a Rewarder of merit, and that 1 have now in the Press a History of England conducted by several hands : as I have heard that you have a hind of a knack at thkm there things, 1 should be happy to give you every reasonable encouragement, in case a sample or two from your pen met my approbation." Gibbon ran 1othe bell, and ringing it most violently, exclaim- ed, "Sir, the only chance you have to escape being kicked down stairs, is to be at the bottom of them, before my Servant can £et to the top ;" this strong hint was no sooner given, than D 26 HYPOCRISY. From whose swol'n port we learn, and lofty look, How better far to sell than write a book. They boast a capital would purchase clean All Tempe, Helicon ! and Hippocrene ! AVith All, who pots upon Parnassus boil, Freeholders, or Rack-renters ; — Homer — Hoyle. Well might their own Sir Richard * feel afraid T' attack such purse-proud Masters of his trade. \\ ith them, by far the worst thing can be said Of any book is, that — it is not read ; But hold, I crave their pardon, 'tis a thought Disturbs them little — so the Book be bought. taken. This tenaut of the Row seems to have formed about as high a uotion of a modern Historian, as the late Lord Mon- boddo, the eccentric and learned contemporary ! of Robertson ! Hume ! and Gibbon ! The Passage is curious, here it is, "Of some late writers (/History in Brit-tin I shall say nothing ; I read not to find fault, but to admire and be pleased. And when I cannot be entertained in that way, I chuse not to read at all. Now to criticise such works it is necessary to read them (not always my Lord) and that is a task I cannot submit to. Leaving therefore, such Authors to be praised, or dispraised, by th£ Reviewers, as they are paid or not paid, I will conclude this subject of History." * This great Prince of Booksellers, and ci decant generalissi- mo of Reviews, has unwarily iu one of his recent publications, suffered the arcanum magnum of his trade to escupe him. This secret is valuable, coming from one who was so long the Custos Custodum, and grand manager of the mysteries of Book- making ;— — —"Qua-que ipse miserriaia vidit, HYPOCRISY. 37 Each of the Trade from Aldgate to Pal-mal Would print the Bible backwards— if 'twould sell, Save One, * Who with his former self at strife, Bitys up at twice its worth his Heathen life! And shall these traffickers joined hand in hand By filthy lucre, lord it o'er the land ? Shall wit serve slaves that o'er her feast preside? Shall talent walk, and learning's lacqueys -\ ride? Et quorum pars magna fuit." His method is this ; when a respectable publication is to be cut up con amore, it is absolutely necessary to engage some Author, who has written worse on a similar subject, to undertake the office of its Executioner ; and for two reasons ; he will perform his task without mercy ; and without reward. * Mr. Lackington, who some time since undertook the deli- cate task of becoming his own biographer. Either he was too candid in his details, or he now sees himself in a New Light ; as he has industriously bought up all the copies he can lay his hands upon, of what he now terms his heathen life. He has lately built a Chapel at Taunton, close to the road *ide, where the following inscription, written in gigantick characters, 'verbis sesquipedalibus,' arrests the attention of the passenger, "This Temple is a Monument of God's Mercy in convineibjg an Inti- del of the important Truths of Christianity." "No zealot ever took in hand, To plant a church in barren land ; Or ever thought it worth his while, A Swiss or Russ to reconcile." t It is evident that the publisher of any work, is merely the fiisvur, or valet of hrs author; inasmuch as it is the sole bnsi- 28 HYPOCRISY. Shall such vile things, the sweepings of a Shop, The Bard's career accelerate? or stop? O'er Intellect shall vile Mechanics reiirn ? Rather revive Star-chambers once again, Freedom of thought and speech in vain we boast , France owns one Despot, Britain counts an Host ; Thy fetters Genius loose, thy wrongs redress, Save us from petty Tyrants of the Press ; ness of the former, to see the latter decently dressed before be makes his appearance in public. And, were things as they ought to be, then could Booksellers, and Publishers do no more for a book, than dress for a female. Thus if a woman happen to be either very handsome, or very plain, we may ob- serve that the. most splendid dress cannot heighten her beauty on the one hand, nor hide her deformity on the other. But if she be neither handsome, nor plain, but something between both, she may then receive some assistance from Dress. About as much us this, we might permit a Bookseller to do for a Book. But modern publishers, by no means satisfied with the narrow extent of their privileges and prerogatives, are striving hard to erect a new dynasty of the ; r own in Literature. Hence from their Paper-mint in the Row they are continually affixing to counterfeits the stamp of genius, and patching up dotage and debility, in the alluring forms of youth and novelty. Thus they give an attractive frontispiece, and high sounding title, to w orks of which it may be justly said, "fronti nulla fides." On such occasions I would advise the Public to keep their shil- lings in their poekt-tr ; us in these exhibitions, like those of wild beasts, the representation on the outside, which they may see for nothing, is much better executed than the monstrous things within, which they must pay for examining ; "desinit in uiscetn inuher furmosa superne" ITYPOCRISY. 29 Nor tamely see the Lion yield his breath Trampled by Mulish foes, and kicked to death. O in what splended JEra's glorious light ! Shall Blockheads feel their weakness, Wits their might? When learning's famed Triumvirate, * again Dethroning dullness, shall bid Talent reign. Shallfools combined, in nought but union strong, 'Gainst single wits th' unequal war prolong ? And shall not each high-mettled Courser bleed To save from herded wolves their Champion Steed ! -j* Too oft, alas, his brethren stand aloof. And mark his heart's blood stain his thundering hoof! He sinks ! but in death's agonizing throes, Feels more the baseness of his friends, than foes. * Pope, Swift, and Arbuthnot. f Droves of wild Horses have always a champion, "Victor Equus," or Leader. "Primus et ire viam et fluvios tentare minaces Audet, et ignoto sese committere ponti. iWe ratios horret sirepilus." A common Sense of their own imbecility makes the Dunces unite; but in spirits of an higher order, there is often th^t proud independence, which, while it makes them too confident jn their own powers, renders them also jealous of the assist- ance of othprs; hence it happensthat like Horses attacked by wolves, «'duin singuli ptignant oinnes viccnntor.'' 30 HYPOCRISY. Like fogs shall Printers, Critics, and the Trade, * The British. Press, that Sun of wisdom shade I * There are instances on record in which these Gentlemen have seriously injured themselves, in attempting to drive too bard a bargain with an Author. Paley's Moral Philosophy was offered to Mr. Faulder in Bond-Street for £100. He de- clined the purchase ; after the merits of that work were in some degree ascertained, it was again offered to Mr. Faulder for £300. Mr. F. then offered £-250. While this treaty was. pending, a Bookseller in Carlisle happened to go to London, when he was immediately commissioned by an eminent pub- lisher in the Row,, to offer Mr. Paley £i000for the Copy- right of that work. This offer was instantly communicated to Mr. Paley at Carlisle, and through him despatched to the Bishop of Clonfert, who was then in London, and who had undertaken, at Mr. Paley's request, to negociate that business with Mr. Faulder. Fortunately for the Author, the Bargain was not concluded before Mr. Paley's letter, announcing the above intelligence, reached the Bishop. But mark the sequel. Mr. Faulder was not a little surprised, at so great and" so un- expected an advance in Mr. Paley's demand ; yet this very man, who had at first refused -to give £100 for a copy-riifht, and on a second occasion, had been haggling so long for £50; agreed to give £1000 for the same work, before the Bishop of C. left his house. "Never," observes Mr. Paley, "did 1 suffer so much anxious fear as on this occasion ; lest my Friend should have concluded the Bargain, before my Letter reached him. Little did I think 1 should even make a £1000 by any book of mine." "Quod optanti, Divom promittere nemo au« Jeret, volvenda dies en attulit ultro." Many useful hints may be collected from the above facts. In the first place, what hath been related, may hrlp us to form some idea of the sagacity with which Book-elle-s usually esti- HYPOCRISY, 31 This task Napoleon's fatal intellect, In zenith throned of conquest, can't effect. Though Chieftains from his changeful Zodiac sped Like Comets! gloomy. glared midst darkness shed. Lamented Palm, there still remains a Press Thy fate to publish, and thy name to bless ! Though Scaffolds with judicial murder bleed, And laws perverted authorize the deed ; Though passive justice drop an iron tear, Her Ermine still, though stained, compelled to wear, And reassume, though trampled on the ground, Her robes polluted, while a Despot frowned. mate the value of a Book. Secondly, it may serve to inspire authors with a spirit of independence, and save them from prostituting their talents to booksellers ; from such a spirit much good must arise to themselves and the puhlic. To the Public; because dull and heavy Productions would then sink by their own weight, as they ought to do ; neither would non- sense be continually crammed down en r throats by the Trade, because they had previously bought it : To Authors — because if their works have merit, they themselves, who most deserve it, would then meet their reward ; and not the Booksellers. * The only light which Buonaparte suffers to emanate from the press, is that gloomy glare which informs the continent of the successes of his generals. The Battle of Trafalgar was thus noticed by him, "Fie was sorry to inform the Legislative Bodies that he had lost some ships in a storm ! ! /" I am c-edi- bly informed that the continental presses are in such complete subjection, that the circumstance of s'udi a Battle having' taken olace rs not generally known. '- * ? 32 HYPOCUISV. Wisdom to banish ignorance and night Bestowed the Press, and said — Let there be light ! In a Baeotian atmosphere appeared That beam that Luther hailed, and Leo * feared ; Gross Papal darkness fled the rising ray, Scorned and exposed, each Tyrant felt dismay ; His Captive too, in Dungeon doomed to dwell, Then hailed the day-spring that surprized his Cell ! Of Intellect's bright world thou brightest Sun, Pursue thy proud career so well begun ! O mayestthou still, by freedom's sacred voice Refreshed, — to run thy Giant-course, rejoice ! By envy blighted, may thy warmth revive, And bid each drooping plant of Genius thrive ; * The discovery of the Press on the eve of the Reformation, I have ever considered a signal interposition of Providence > and Leo the X spoke the sentiments of every tyrant, when he observed on that occasion, "Here is an instrument that will destroy us, or ice must destroy it." Hume has an observation to the following effect: "If in the most tyrannical Eastern government, an asylum were permitted to exist, where the opi- nions of all might be sal'ely published, and freely canvassed; this single circumstance would sooner or later, lay the founda- tion of Liberty, and eventually change the despotic nature and hpirit of «uch a government.'* And Mr. Sheridan has been heard to exclaim in the Seuate, with his usual tire, "Give me a slavish, u»id a sycophantic nobility, partial and interested judges, a corrupt and venal House of Commons; yet, leave «ne the single advantage of a free Press, and, amidst all these frib I will B ©t df^aic." HYPOCRISY. 33 Still may thy beams, unwarped by virtue's foes, Corruption's foul and murky Den expose ; O'er Albion still their full * effulgence shed, Though galled Napoleon lives ! and Fox be dead ! * An unsuccessful attempt to fetter the Press of this Coun- try was lately made, by the present Ruler of France, in the trial of Peltier. On this occasion the Press found a most elo- quent advocate, and able protector, in the splendid talents of Mr. Mackintosh, author of the Vindicia; Gallicfe, and now Sir James Mackintosh, Recorder of Bombay. Notwithstanding the great abilities of this Gentleman, it was his fate, once in his life, to be contundcd by one of these climaxes, in the effulmi- nation of which, Dr. Parr shines with such unrivalled brilliancy. A change, rather sudden, had taken place in the politics of Mr. M . This gave rise to some little coolness between him and Dr. Parr, On some public occasion, however, at a very 1-rge party, they met. The conversation happened to turn on O'Quigley, who had just paid the forfeiture of his Life to the Laws. Dr. Parr, as some little palliation of O'Quigley's offence, obsened that he was no impostor, but although deceived, yet died in the conviction, though a mista- ken one, that he was suffering in a good cause. "I am hurt," rejoined Mr. M, to hear Dr. Parr employing his great talents in the defence of such a wretch as O'Quigley, whom I pro- nounce as bad a man as could possibly be in every point of view in. which we can consider him. "No, No!" replied the Doctor, "not so bad as a man could possibly be neither, Jem- my ! for recollect, O'Quigley v.as a Priest, he might havirbeen a Lawyer ; he was an Irishma i, he might have been a Scotch- man ; he was consistent, Jemmv ! he might have been an apos- tate" There was no answering this, accompanied as it was by E 34 HYPOCRISY. Though Science weep, while Literati * smile, Drawn up on Gallic ground in rank and file ; Prepared with ready pen their Tyrant's will To perpetrate,— like Soldiers at a Drill ! The British Press, Palladium of the world ! Hath to Napoleon calm defiance hurled; Firm mid the general wreck, it mocks his rage, Land-mark, and Light-house, of some happier age! Preserved, to shake the faith of future times, With the red record of successful crimes ; To tell, how wading through the tide of Blood, On Jaffa's plain the Plague f of Egypt stood ; the usual quantum of Powder from the Doctor's cloud c»m- pelling wig. "Hi motus animorum, atque hac certamina tanta, Pulveris imffimsi jactu compressa quiescent ! * The French Academician f "Tristius haud illo monstrum, nee saevior ulla, Pfstis, et ira Deum, Stygiis sese extulit undis." To this modern Pest may we not apply the lines of Lucretius on that of antiquity. "Funestos reddidit agros, Vastavitque vias, exhausitcivibus urbes." And in allusion to the horrid circumstance supposed to have taken place in the French military hospital, on the retreat of their Army, after the massacre at Jaffa, may we not add from the same author, on the same subject, * ( Omnes, Inde catervatico morbe mortiqne dabantnr." HYPOCRISY. 35 Mid slaughtered foes, the mandate signed, that sends Unwept, to sleep eternal, poisoned Friends ! That scroll of Death the mute Physician * read, While his hand trembled, and his bosom bled ! * "Mussabat tac'ito Medicina timore." If it be true, (and there is great reason to suspect it is) that the French on their retreat relieved themselves from the em- barrassment of an Hospital, by the means above mentioned, the favourite Machiavelian system of expedience will of course be resorted to t by the defenders of such a measure. But we would ask whence arose the expedience ? solely from the pre- vious massacre of those Turks who formed the garrison of Jaffa. Here then we see the hand of retributive justice strong- ly marked, "Raro antecedentem scelestum, Deseruit pede poena claudo." But even that massacre, which the French do not deny, but rather boast of, is also defended on the doctrine of expedience, by those, who would persuade us that success is an end, that will justify, and consecrate the most attrocious means. "Ausi omnesimmane nefas ! — Ausoque potiti. It is well known that three days, « 'a dreadful interval," elap- sed, after the taking of Jaffa, before the sentence of a military council was carried into execution. And for the honour of humanity, it appears that three divisions of the French army, on this occasion, refused to act. — Sir Sjdney Smith can in- form the Pubtocwhat difficulties he encountered, in preventing the full operation of the /ex talionis, on the French Prisoners at Acre. I have heard from good authority, that a French officer of some Rank, about to be sabred by aTurk, threw himself at the feet of Sir Sydney : and that it was some time before the . 36 HYPOCRISY. Still the fleet Arab halts his proud array, To mouru, the deeds of Jaffa's dreadful * day; Their startled Steeds the turbaned Chieftains rein, And bend indignant o'er the whitening plain ; Count in the bleaching Piles their Country's loss, While the pale Crescent blushes for the Cross. The Spot, those Pyramids of bones declare, That taint full many a league the putrid air ; remonstrances of that generous, and gallant Chief could save the life of his Prisoner. At length the Turk returned his Scy- mitar into the scabbard, first waving it over the head of his vic- tim, and exclaiming "Jaffa! Jaffa ! Jaffa !" * Should ever French influence be powerful enough to awe the British Press into silence, then we might consent, and even wish that the very remembrance of this dreadful day, might perish forever; we would then exclaim and nearly in the words of Statius, "Excidat ilia dies aevo, nee postera credant, Saecula ! Si nosmet taceamus, et obruta multa, Nocte, tegi tantcE patiamur crimina pestis. I was myself a witness to the following fact. A few years ago this Paragraph was posted up at the window of a Coffee Room in Tiverton ; "Two thousand Turks were murdered in cold Blood at Jalfuby the order of General Buonaparte." General Boyer was at that time a Prisoner on Parole in Tiverton, and happened to have had a command in the army of Egypt. He read this bulletin, and with true french sangfroid took out his pencil, and altered the words "two thousand" into "three thousand rive hundred," the true amount of the sufferers. Should this anecdote be ever circulated in France, the General will thank me for having been wstriniental in his promotion. HYPOCRISY. 37 That ghastly monument a Coward built, Of unresisting blood, in coolness spilt ; Then fled stern Kleber's* glance, and dying groan! And where he feared a scaffold — found a Throne I * General Kleber was assassinated by a fanatic Turk in a garden at Cairo. The death of this great man is involved in a cloud of mystery ; if it was not contrived by Buonaparte, yet it is* no secret, that the intelligence of that event was highly gratifying to him ; in consequence of some very unpleasant communications, which that General was prepared to make, to his own government, of the conduct of his chief in Egypt. Observe, in this short but eventful part of the Cor*ican's career, how much Fortune effected for her favourite child, and how very little in these particulai ins ances, he was indebted to any resources, or exertions of his oicn.— Having deserted from his army in Egypt, which he left in want of every thing, and al- most without a livre in its military chest ; he arrives safe in France, having escaped in a solitary Frigate, a superior Bri- tish force, by the intervention of a fog. *'Sedqualisrediit, nempe una nave cruentis, Fluctibus." His greatest enemy in Egypt is now suddenly taken off, and Menou, one of his own creatures, succeeds to the command. Shrinking from the just indignation of the People, he displays in the Council of five hundred, at a most critical juncture, a contemptible want of firmness ; but he is compelled, as it were, to rally his scattered spirits, by the magnanimity of his brother Lucien : who with the fraternal feeling and courage of Tela- mon, rushes to the assistance of this fallen Teucer and protects him with his shield ; His popularity is at the lowest ebb, but by the intrigues of the 3S hypoc i;i>y. Thy dark Career, Vsnrper J mark me well, The British Press shall ever dare to tell ; Ordained with torch of Truth that Union dread To show, of Meekest heart, and brightest * head ! Doomed to disclose, though wrapped in foulest night, Thy hapless story, murdered, martyred Wright! f now neglected Sieves, and the discarded Empress Josephine, he wnppomted first consul, and soon afterwards sets out to command the army of Italy. He loses the battle in the plains of Ma- 1 ; he exclaims to Berthier that "all is lost ;** and eren that Mens does not send a detachment of Catalry, *°«nake noth him and his staff prisoners of war. Bat in direct di s obed ie n c e to the orders of his general, Dessaix returns at the heel of the engagement, and recovers the Victory ; snatching the short- lived and reeking laurels from the brows of the Aus- trian*. Dessaix falls at the head of his Grenadiers, and by this last erect fortune confers on her minion, the undivided glory of that bloody day. He returns to Paris, to grace a tri- umph, who bad other vise been doomed to perform the primci* pal part in an Executi<«n. * This by no mean* contradicts what has been advanced in the former note. A br ght bead be certainly has, which not only enables him to make the most of the smib s of fortune ; but which has taught him even a more important Lesson ; the Secret of putting Proper Mem in Proper Places He does not appoint a W— t — k, to command an Expedition; neither doe* b- despatch one General to sign away with his pen in a treaty * that harvest, which another had reaped, with his sword, in th field. f For some verv interesting and authentic particulars con- cerning Captain Wright, who died a Pr.soner of war in the Temple, at Paris, vide appendix. HYPOCRISY. 39 Yea doomed, O thou that wouldest the world en- thrall, Tyrant, to mar thy feme, and mark thy fall ! But hold my muse, this theme the Brave appals; She smiles, and points to England's Wooden Walls; Yet rash the tongue that Tyrants reprimands. Such * have long memories, and longer hands: Nor am 1 versed in all the turns, and tricks. Cheats, and Chicaneries of Politics ; As Sieves | shrewd, who in the direst times, When Paris reeked with cruelties and crimes, * "Odia in Ionium jacentia, Qui conderent, auctaque promerent." f Dr. Moore, father ©f the gallant Genera!, was at Paris** the breaking out of the Revolution. He wished to parehase a few of the bu?ts of those Demagogues who bad, rach in rbe.r turn, strutted tbeir hour on that bloody stage. "AhSir!** exclaimed the artist, "our"s has been a losing trade of late ; as the real heads have often taken leave of the shouiders of their owners, before the artificial ones, which we were model- ling, could be exhibited for sale. It then became as danger- ous to have them, as before it was te be without them. Bat here Sir," said he, handing him the bast of the Abbe Sieves, "here is an head that has not yet quarrelled with its shoulders. This Head in some decree makes up for what *e have l*»i Lv its companions ; it is in great request still, and telis mt^.V. The Abbe has lately had much leisure time open his haad^ : may we indulge the hope thit he has employed itin preparing the History of his own times? If to this drlicate task he would hrin^ the hocr^v of Bu:n**t, * : .th©Jt h*s L-redaltv. he 40 HYPOCRISY. By turns ruled All ; — and as each Colleague bled, Contrived, — no trifling task, — to wear an head; Though favourites daily fell, dragged forth to die Unheard, or ere their plaister Busts were dry. Quit then, my muse, to sing of humbler things, * This mighty Manufacturer of Kings ! ! ! Him leave, to fear, distrust, perplexing doubt, And care a prey, — till conscience find him out. Should I, pronounced presumptuous, vain, or trite, Be doomed, what none perchance will read, to write, might bequeath to Posterity the most interesting volume that ever was written. — Km^a to- am. For somt account of the present state of this extraordinary Man, see the following quotation from Juvenal. "Venit et Crtspi jucunda senectus, Cujus erant mores, qualisfacundia, mite Ingenium. — Maria ac terras populosque regenti, Quis comes utilior ? Si clade et Peste sub ilia Ssevitiam damnare, et honestum afferre liceret Consilium ; sed quid Violentius aure Tyranni? 7// ge fortunes have been made by working mines of copper, or of lead ; and perhaps even larger profits have arisen from an article of still less value, namely coal ; which has on this account been termed, not in- aptly, the Black Diamond. Milton was proprietor of a gold mine on Parnassus, but he was Poor, "divite Vena." For his Paradise lost he received only fifteen pounds paid by Instal- ments. Johnson went a begging with his London in his hand ; many Booksellers refused even to run the risk of printing it; at length, Dodsley, who was certaiidy the most liberal Mrecaenas of his day, after printingit, ventured to remunerate the Author with ten Pounds, for a Poem which, as it were, electrified the metropolis, and extorted the strongest approba- tion from Pope ; who, from that moment, in satire at least, could no longer be said to have "No Rival near the Throne." * "Semper Ego Auditor tanum." f That Mr. Crabbe's Poems were read to Mr. Fox on his diath-bed, is a fact as creditable to the talents of the Gne, as to the taste of the other. % "Sed multae Urbes, nee publica Vota Vicerunt." HYPOCRISY. 47 But think not Crabbe, though Fox approved thy lays, I envy thee, that glory of thy bays, Few, ! Few ! deserve, their talents to caress, So great a Patron more, or need him less. On, then, my courage Numbers * must inspire, And work th' effects of Patron, Muse, and Fire ; Drawn up in Columns dense, our Land can boast Of Epic, and Heroic Bards, an Host ; High rolls th'o'erwhelming tide of copious song ! Printers drive Critics, Critics Bards along ! Sleepless to nodding hearers they rehearse, While wit decreases, with increasing verse ; From barren brains they fly, and empty scull, To fertile page of common-place book, full ; On the gross Volume scribbled o'er and o'er, Inside and out, nor finished j" jet, they pore; * "D fendit numerus, junctneque umbone Phalanges." Strada tho' a Jcsuite, was certainly a Piouhet when he wrote the following Passage ; "Nullus hodie mortalium aut nascitur, aut morkur; aut prccliatur, aut rnsticatur; aut abit, aut redit ; autnubit; aut est, aut nonest; (nam etiam mortuis Isti canunt,) cui non Mi extemplo cudant Epicedia, Genethliaca, Protreptica, Panaegy- rica, Epithalamia,Vaticnia, Propemptica, Soterica, Pavaenetica Naenias, Nttgas" f "Et summi plenus jam margine Yibri Scriptui, et in tergo, nee dam rinitus." 4fc HYPOCRISY. While in that Warehouse Vast of pilfered goods To hatch a new idea, Dullness broods ; With self-complacence views her stores, o'ergrown With foreign wealth, and treasures not her own. Ah for their own, in vairt her sons may quote Anothers thoughts, in dull unvaried note ; Nor shall sweet Avon's Nightingale despair, Though robbed, and then abused by sly Voltaire ; * Cease plaintive Philomel to mourn thy wrong, That Cuckoo stole thine Eggs, but not thy song. * Whenever Voltaire ushered any play into the world, in which he had borrowed freely from Shakespeare ; he prefaced the theft with more or less abuse of his Master, in exact pro- portion to the extent of the depredation. He styled Shake- speare a man of Genius, Sans-Culottes. In this expression he was more happy, than when he compared the Bard of Avon to a Dunghill. The spirited reply of Mrs. Montague is well known, "Then he is a Dunghill that has enriched a \ery un- grateful soil." The following quotatiou has been wittily ap- plied to Mrs. M's attack upon Voltaire ; "Pallas te hoc Vulnere, Pallas, Immolat." In the French Theatre the audience express their disappro- bation by whistling. When Piron's Tragedy of Gustavus came out, it met the fate above mentioned. Voltaire triumph- ed over poor Piron on this occasion, condoling with him sar- castically on that event. Soon afterwards, Voltaire's Tragedy of Zaire came out ; on met ting Piron, he exclaimed, "Well, you see, I escaped without a single whistle." "True," replied Piron, "but remember, it is impossible for an audience to whistle, and i/atcn at the same time." HYPOCRISY. 49 While Shakespeare * rules the feast, and quaffs the wine, Voltaire shall wait, their valet, on the nine ; Prepared to load with frippery and lace Their simple dignity, and native grace; Like him j* who longed to clothe in silk Pelisse, Cythera's breathing statue, pride of Greece. Piron having sacrificed rather freely to Bacchus, was taken up by the Watchman of the Night, in the Streets of Paris. He was carried, on the following morning, before the Lieute- nant of the Police, who interrogated him, with much hauteur, concerning his business, and profession. "I am a Poet, Sir," said Piron ; "Oh, oh, a Poet are you," said the magistrate ; "well, well, I have a brother who is a Poet;" "Then we are even," said Piron, "for I have a brother who is a fool." Pi- ron seems to have been in Paris, what Savage was in London ; a dissolute, and libertine, but not unsuccessful admirer of the muses. There is a great similarity in their characters ; but in the article of a cruel and unnatural mother, let us hope Savage is without a competitor. The respective merits, or rather demerits of this question, I thought had been decided by Dr. Johnson ; — they have been, however, lately agitated again ; and it seems we may still ask in the words of Virgil, "Crudelis Mater inagis ? an Puer improbus Ille." * "Cui Phoebi chorus assurrexerit omnis. Qui genus humanum ingenio superavit, et omnes Prsestinxit Stellas, exortus uti sethereus Sol I" •j* One of the Popes, whose name I do not wish to remem- ber, in order to heighten the charms of the Venus de Mtdicis, proposed the addition of a superb dress ! > G 40 HYPOCRISY. From want of time, * or genius, or of both, Some borrow, some, more culpable, from sloth ; Bankrupts in wit, their Book-debts few repay With princely prodigality ,—like Gray ! And fewer still, with Milton's magic art, The spirit catch, yet leave the grosser part; Rich debtors these ! who cancel quick the loan? With something far more precious, of their own ! Unlike Prometheus, if they steal a Ray, They purge it from, not blend it with the Clay ! Old strains that Homer erst, or Maro sung, By Milton's hand awakened, yet are young ; Their flowrets thus transplanted, still are seen To flourish, like their bays, for evergreen ! The choicest fruits, of fragrant Poesy, Matured by suns, and skies of Italy, On Milton's stock f engrafted, stronger thrive,, And mid the Northern blast immortal live. Rifled by him, her muses yield their charms, Love for the Ravisher their rage disarms ; ■ -i - -l -V ! ! trs ^— I ' * Dryden, we are told, never borrowed but from wantof time, Pope never but from want of genius ; Addison, i'rom wantof both, t In the lives, characters a «d writings of Dante and Mil- ton, there are some very striking points of resemblance ; Dante might exclaim to Milton, "Sed carrnina tantum Nostra valeut Lyeida tela inter martia, quantum Chaonias dicunt «quili veniente Columi as." Thi* simile is beautiful, as the Roman standard was an Eygl«. Lucau terms the civil v.ar "pares /lytti/as." This circumstance gives additional force to that prophecy of our Saviour ; —"Where the carcase is, there shall the Eagles be gathered together." HYPOCRISY. &\ Spoiled of their stores, and of their sweets bereft, They style the crime a conquest, hot a theft. In vain great Marvel # to that vicious age, With Barrow ^ sung their Poet's wondrous page ; ifiua* * Andrew Marvel, member for Hull. The merits of this true Patriot are not duly appreciated. Republican Rome could not boast a more honest and independent spirit ; nor Imperial Rome a more polished and enlightened mind. His Encomium on Milton is well known. It wa» this great man's Misfortune to live under the reign of the Second Charles; **Ast inter scabiem tantam et contagia lueri Nil parvum sapiebat, adhuc sublimiacurans." Lord Danby waited on him at his lodgings in an obscure court in the Strand, to inform him that he was commissioned by his- Majesty to offer hirn any situation in the ministry, if he would support the measures of that abandoned court. Marvel replied, that it was not in the King's power to serve him ; neither could he accept any offer from his Majesty, without being ungrateful to his Constituents, by betraying their interests, or to the King, by voting against birr*. Lord Danby then informed him that he had brought with him a thousand pounds, of which the King begged his acceptance, as a mark of his pri- vate esteem and regard ; Marvel instantly rang the bell. "John, what did you provide for my dinned yesterdav ?" "A shoulder of mutton, Sir ;" — « What am I to have to day ?" — "The remainder hashed ;"— "What shall I have to morrow ?' — "The Blade-bone broiled." Then, having dismissed fn> sen ant, he turned to Lord Danby, and not without an honest indignation observed ; **You see, my Lord, I am not a man to be bribed." Poor as h« was, the King of England was 52 HYPOCRISY* Those times — that miracle might not receive, But after ages worship, and believe ! Most like bis Mighty Master,— but to fill 1 he likeness, Zoilns * was wanting still ; not rich enough to purchase him. His wants were small, and his integrity great. "Quae Virtus, quantumque boni sit vivere parvo." That he borrowed a Guinea that same evening of a friend, is a fact that must not be omitted. It is probable Lord Danby never paid so extraordinary a visit before; but 1 suspect this creature of the court, was too deeply tainted by the contagi- ous leprosy of corruption, to be rendered whole and sound, by the great Example he had that moment witnessed. A- bashed, and confused, he sluuk from the presence of the Pa- triot, like Gehazi from the scrutinizing glance of Elisha. Perhaps he never before had sat down with a man who had the courage to refuse a bribe; and to say to his titled guest, if not in the words, at least in the Spirit of Evander, "AudeHospes coutemnere opes, et te quoque dignum, Finge Deo." On this noble passage, Dryden ha«this fine expression, «When I read it, I despise the world ; when I attempt to translate it, I despise myself." t The great Isaac Barrow ; a most unfair writer on all sub- jects ; in as much as he so completely exhausts whatever is the object of his discussions, as to leave all future writers nothing to say. His Sermons, it is well known, were most favourite compositions, with the great Earl of Chatham, who styles them, a "mine of nervous expression." * "Hoc tltfuit unurh Miltono." HYPOCRISY. 5«1 This Caledonia saw, then heaved a sigh, And bade her son that sole defect supply. Let Lauder * forge, and the malicious fraud Let Johnson, willingly deceived, applaud ; Faster shall Truth expunge, than Envy blot, W hen Douglas arms ! to shame each scribbling Scot. But why so zealous for great Milton's name I Too full, without him, are the lists of fame, * William Lauder, a native of Scotland; he published aa Essay on Milton's use and imitation of the moderns. His pre- tended quotations from Grotius, and others, passed as genuine for some time ; but at length they were detected, and proved to be forgeries of Lauder's own, by Dr. Douglas, late Bishop of Salisbury ; a Prelate, who united the honest simplicity of the Patriarch, with the affability of the Gentleman, and the erudition of the Scholar. His greatest work is the Criterion, the best answer to Hume. In the list of those who were deceived by Lauder's publica- tion, the name of Johnson is most conspicuous. It is doubt- ful whether the ingenuity of the Essay, or the Doctor's pre- judices against the subject of it, contributed most to his error. It is butfiiirto add, that Johnson, the moment he was unde- ceived, dictated with his own hand a confession of Lauder's offence, which he insisted on his signing ; and to make up for having written in praise of Lauder's fabrication, when Comas was acted for the benefit of Mrs. Clarke, a grand-danjjhter of Milton, Dr. Johnson wrote the Prologue. 54 hVpocrtsy. So vast a space He fills, there's hardly room For both* the Bloomfields, Burges, f Blackmore, Brome ; | Let Miltoh's page be thrown neglected by, Moderns by fifties ! § shall his place supply ; * "Ne sntor ultra crepidaro" is a maxim not at all affected, by the present case. By adhering to this Rule Nathan might have saved himself the trouble of manufacturing some mid- dling poetry ; but we must agree with iYlr. Capel Loft, that the Public are much obliged to Robert for his infringement of it. t Peter Pindar rallies his own foibles at times, '"vineta cs*dit saa." Perhaps he was the Author of the following Epigram in dog Latin, and Monkish Rhime, on the four Can- didates for the vacanl Laurent. *'NosPoetee sumus tribus I Peter Pindar, Pye, and Pybus ; Si Ulterius ire pergis Nobis add Sir Jumes Bland Burges. \ Jortin was not the only man to whom Pope was not asha- med to owe a silent obligation. Brome was one of the junta that assisted him in his translation, or rather transformation of the Iliad. "Indocti discant et ament meminisse periti." I shall therefore quote the well-known couplet on this subject; "Pope has translated Homer, but some say Brome went before, and kindly swept the way." § Our modern poets make uu in quantity, what they want in quality ; they give «is bulk instead of bullion. From the great glut in the market, their Paper credit is below par. Milton was a monopolist of fame ; in his room we have an hundred hucksters, and retailers. When the great Tureune HYPOCRISY. &3 Bis blazing mine they ransack, and purloin Mis gold, to circulate their baser coin ; Exhausted Helicon, for Sinai's iVlount They quit ; for Jordan, the Pierian fount, Desert Hymettus' Hill, and Tempi's vale, To breathe with Eve, fair Eden's fresher gale \ The scribbling influenza of their quill Hath ng specific, but spreads farther still ; Since those who write its remedy, are sure To catch the foul contagion thev would cure. *b* W hen Witlings write 'gainst reason, taste, and rbime, When Patriots sell set speeches against time, Speeches that hireling pens in garret wrote, Speeches that Cobbett * begged in vain to quote; fell Louis the XIV created a number of generals, mar- shals of France. Madame de Cornuel wittily observed — that the Grand Monarque bad melted down his great coin, into small change. * Cobbett ou his trial requested permission to quote passa- ges from some speeches delivered in the House of Commons ; his object it would seem was to convince the court that he had not expressed himself, in his political Register, in stronger language, than the British Senate had been accustomed to hear on similar subjects, within the walls of St. Stephens'. Permission to avail himself of such authorities was refused. For tome Remarks on Mr. Cobbett's definition of liberty, and Lord Folkstone's motion on the Ex officio informations wf *he Attorney General, vide Appendix. 56 UVPOCRISY. When crackbrained Authors load the groaning press, Talk much, write more, read little, and think less \ All questions treat with turbid fluency, Look into all things, into nothing see ,* Exhaust no subject, but each theme o'erwhelnt In sluggish deluge of Boeotian Phlegm ; \\ ho in this rhyming, scribbling, spouting age. Dare hope to grace with novelty their page! The task is hard, — and yet that Pen 'tis true, 1 hat in these days writes sense, writes something new. Perchance my favourite were I free to chuse, I had not fixed on the Satiric muse; But must, sweet Minstrel, since the rest are thine. E'en woo the least attractive of the nine. On Thee stern Caledonia proudly smiled, And owned Thee last, wot least. Her darling Child! Each flowret sweet in Fancy's fairy ground, By Pope o'erlooked, or Dryden, Thou hast found ; Yea, hast forestalled, by Phoebus, worse and worse, Each guinea left in bounteous Murray's * purse 1 I have heard that Mr. Cobbett is in the habit of submitting his weekly lucubrations to the perusal of a Gentleman in the Profession, confidentially employed ; but that on the day when the ill-fated number alluded to came out, this precaution had been unfortunately neglected, "Quandoque bonus dormitat Homerus." * An eminent Bookseller in Fleet Street, who purchased ttVPoCRisv. 57 While we, poor leasers lagging far behind, With eyes less keen, have still less left to find ; Where Pratt * the refuse gleaning forms the rear, Nor leaves on Helicon one scattered ear ; the Lady of the Lake (as I have been informed) for one thou- sand guineas. This is a very respectable Poem, if we reflect that PliUus went halves with Apollo, in furnishing the inspira- tion. "An hsec animos aerugo et curapeculi Cum semel imbuerit, speramus Carmina fingi, Posse linenda cedro, et l«evi servanda cupresso?" I will venture to prophesy that Mr. Scott has not yet produ- ced his best Work. He has hitherto been unfortunate in his Fable, and throughout all his poems I humbly think has succeeded best in those Passages which allow him to expa- tiate, disentangled as it were, and disencumbered from tbe trammels and fetters imposed on his Genius, by his Story. But at all events, Mr. Scott is not a Writer who has the least oc- casion to dispose of his works to Booksellers, to give them po- pularity, or push them into circulation. * An indefatigable Traveller both by Sea and Land; and a voluminous sentimental writer, both in Prose and Verse. "Of all the cants in this canting age, the cant of Hypocrisy is the worst, the cant of Criticism the most tormenting," —and we may add, the cant of Sentiment the most contemptible. Of all our Sentimental Poets, the Author of the Pleasures of Hope is certainly the best; he seems to unite Feeling with Sentiment, which is not always the case. Sterne drew torrents of tears from bis female Readers, by an exquisite speci men of sentimental rant upon a Dead Ass ; at the same time that it is said he had a living Mother starving, and, by him at least, neglected. II AS HYPOCRISY. like Butler's rat,* prepared for lake or land, On verse to sink, or solid prose to stand; Poor prating Pratt, like Priestly, all things tried, But nought at last, not Jen a Poet died. Yet hope we still rich crops of Knaves and Fools, While Mammon Church and State triumphant rules ; Let Satire then her keenest Sickle wield, And Gotham 1 's land shall fullest harvests yield, Where, Wakefield f thanks in Prison Fox for bread, WTiile Power rains Mitres on some Thurlow's J head ; * "So some Rats of Amphibious nature* Are either for the Land or Water." •f A Subscription of between four and five thousand Pounds was raised for Gilbert Wakefield, while a Prisoner in Dorchester Jail. At the head of the list stood the names of Charles Fox, and the Duke of Bedford. It is too probable that he died in consequence of that imprisonment. After a confinement of two years, he somewhat too suddenly, and eagerly recommen- ced his former habits of activity ; habits rendered doubly sweet to him by the sincerest congratulations of his numerous Frieuds, and the re-enjoyment of his Liberty. So sudden a change was too much for his delicate and susceptible mind ; and he sunk under a kind of typhus fever, in the prime of his age, and the full vigour of his intellect. •«« Civis erat qui Libera posset, Verba animi proferre, et Vitam impendere vero ?" The unfortunate Passage that caused his imprisonment, and HYPOCRISY. 59 Bold Genius scorns, on sneaking dullness doats, As Asses thrive on Thistles, starve on Oats ; perhaps his death, appeared in an answer of his to a Pamphlet published by the present Bishop of Landaff, in which his> Lord- ship with his usual eloquence, undertakes a defence of the Income Tax. One of the arguments adduced by Wakefield is so ingenious, that my readers will pardon me, if 1 attempt to recollect the substance of it. His Lordship had compared the British constitution to a beautiful building, and the In- come Tax to a weight placed upon the top of it ; but bearing on the whole structure with a pressure so equable and propor- tionate, as to sink indeed the building a little deeper into the earth, without deranging the juxtaposition of its parts, or destroying the symmetry of its architecture. To which, Mr* W. replies, "This is a very pretty Simile for you, my Lord, to make use of, who, with your titled companions, both spiritual and temporal, are basking and frisking in the second story of this beautiful building ; but you will recollect, my Lord, that I, with a very large Majority, am already on the ground Jloor, and if we sink, ive shall be in the Cellar. It would have been more honourable to the liberality which usually marks the proceedings of that University, if the Syndics of the Cam- N bridge Press had not withdrawn their patronage from the Silva Critica. Surely in that Field of sacred Criticism, there were no plants whose growth would have been noxious to the tall cedars of Lebanon. The generous conduct of Mr. Tyrwhit, who defrayed the whole expense of the subsequent publication, cannot be too much applauded. % A Prelate' despatched to Durham, by his Brother the Chancellor, in a style not the most apostolic. "Poh ! poh ! Blockhead ! go, get to Durham, and if you cannot answer 60 HYPOCRISY. Where, Fortune sends, while all her freaks bewail, Mansfield t to court, and \\ oodfall to a Jail ; Cold-hearted Mansfield ! whose unaltered Eye, With side-long glance observed great Chatham die. Say, did he sit, with such a steady gaze, When faction ffh i' link before that Patriot's bl^ze ? all the objections to Christianity, it is your own fault ; You have heard them often enough from me." Although, "every thing lo6esby translation except a Bishop," yet it would seem that this Brother was not quite so dull as the Chancellor con- ceived ; for when once settled at Durham, it does not appear that he aspired after any higher or better translations. To a Friend, who rallied hiro on his over anxiety in the care of his health, he observed, "It is certain that I am Bishop ofDui- lram here, but it is not quite so certain, that I shall be Bishop of Durham hereafter." The great Lord Chancellor, his Bro- ther, seems to have been formed by Nature in one of her most capricious moods. She gave him an head of chrystal, an heart of iron, and nerves of brass. * Lord Mansfield was certainly a Man pf shining talent, but alas, "In nullum reipublioe usum inclaruit."— — 'fSplendeat usu," may be said of genius, as well as of wealth. His whole life was one constant efl'ort to impose fetters on the freedom of the Press, and the liberty of the Subject. Pope has this fine line upon him, "How sweet a Poet was in Murray lost." I think so too ; he certainly succeeded best in fiction. In the fine jrainthig of the deatli of Lord Chatham (I think by West,) the Earl of Mansfield is represented as the only Member of that bouse who keeps his seat, and surveys the moving scene with the most callous iudtfftrence. "Sedet eeteruumque sedebif.'' HYPOCRISY. 61 Nor feel with Felix in his trembling soul, Of truth's stern voice, th' invincible control? Law in his head, and in his heart a stone, Like Zembla's Ice, he chilled us while he shone. Hail land for Satire made ! where suppliant knaves Close Corporations canvass -to be slaves ; Where wealth can dignify the meanest mind, And want disgrace the noblest of mankind ; The following, account is extracted from a letter written on this occasion by Lord Camden to a nobleman of the highest rank, with whom, notwithstanding their temporary differences in politics, he hat} ever maintained an inviolable friendship. "I saw him in the prince's chamber, before he went into the house, and conversed a little with him ; but such was the fee- ble state of his body, and indeed the distempered agitation of his mind, that I did forbode his strength would certainly fail him before he had finished his speech. The earl spoke, but was not like himself. His speech faltering, his sentences bro- ken, and his mind not master of itself. His words were shreds of unconnected eloquence, and flashes of the same fire that he, Prometheus-like, had stolen from heaven, and were then re- turning to the place from whence they were taken. He fell back upon his seat, and was to all appearance in the pangs of death. This threw the whole house into confusion. Many crowded about the Earl. Even those who might have felt a secret pleasure in the accident, yet put on the appearance of distress — except only the earl of Mansfield, who sat still, almost as much uumoved as the senseless body itself." 62 HYPOCRISY. Where Justice avaricious grown, and old. Weighs in her scales, not equity, but gold. While chancery suits which death, nor judgement end, From Son, to Grandson, like Heir-looms descend ; Where Special Pleaders spin the thread of Law, Nor stop till Client's purse proclaims a flaw, Then if the Victor o'er the vanquished brags, O'er nakedness, the triumph 'tis — of Rags ; Where Fops, like Plants in Pleasure's hot-bed lie, And ere they bud, etiolated die ; Whose health, like Plethorics, is their disease, Their Youth their bane, their curse inglorious ease. A\ ho start, the prize of infamy to win, Of nought ashamed, but ignorance in Sin ; Their strength, their wealth, in that ignoble race Exhaust, to gain diseases, and disgrace ; W ith love perverse of ignominy curst, Less proud to be, than to appear, the worst ; Who cut the friend that dares to be alive, In spite of drams, or dice, at thirty-five ; Voltaire compared the Earl of Chatham, in allusion to his strength, of mind and infirmity of body to that image seen in a dream by. Nebuchadnezzar ; which had an head of Gold, and feet of Clay ! The Earl of Chatham on one occasion thus apos- trophized Lord Mansfield in the house of Peers, "We know whence the muddy torrent flows, but where are we to look for the purling rill ? Is it you, <>r you, or you, Sir ? Ah Felfx trembles !" HYPOCRISY. 63 Extract a tooth, * with knowing lisp to swear, And squirt tobacco with a Coachman's air ! Who crimes affect, that cannot coexist, Should wme"\ blot rape or murder from tlie list; Then, Hypocrites of Vice, ere manhood bloom, Not ripe, but rotten, drop into the Tomb. Hail Gotham's land, we will, we must succeed, Thou dost such subjects for our Satire breed ; To Power's Topmast, where each pensioned Slave Clings, though the Vessel founder in the wave ; There fixed secure, abandons to the storm, The ladder of his proud ascent, — Reform. J * There are instances on record in the fashionable world, where a front-tooth has been sacrificed, for the purpose of attaining perfection in the two elegant accomplishments above mentioned. See the Archives ! oftheKill-D — 1, Thorough. Vermin, H — 1-Fire, and Whip Clubs. t "Tibi quid nam accedet adistam, Quam puer ac validus prsesumis mollitiem, seu Dira Valetudo incident, seu tarda senectus." % This is a ladder which most ministers have found it conve- nient to kick aside, on ascending the topmast of Power. From this eminence, a strange alteration usually takes place in their views of things; and they then see many gathering clouds in the political horizon, whose lowering aspect is fatal to Reform. Therefore, they will not spare any hands to stop the leak of corruption, because the whole crew is busily employed at the pumps. But even then they pretend to admire the principle, butshriuk with fear from the practice. Thus it appears that 64 HYPOCRISY. Phlebotomists, Sangrados, that are sure A Nation's blood, a Nation's ills must cure, Whose expeditions ruinous, demand Like Minotaurs, the best blood in the Land ; So badly planned, I grant, that their success, If possible, must more confound than bless. Whose monstrous scheme it is, to crown the Pope Abroad — at home to proffer hiin a Rope ! like Grapes in Scotland, Reform is a good thing, but never in season. Those who defend Mr. Pitt's dereliction of his first Princi- ples, have surely never read his resistless juvenile eloquence, when the Son of Chatham commenced his promising career, the determined enemy of corruption, and the intrepid advocate of political ceconomy, and parliamentary reform. But even then, the eagle-eye of Paley was so far from being dazzled by the splendour of this rising Sun, that before a large party in Yorkshire, he exposed the designs of this modern Octavius, and unmasked the young Patriot's pretentions to public" con- fidence, with such force of ridicule, as deeply to displease some of his most zealous admirers. However most of them after- wards owned, that in his promises, and pledges as a man, and a minister, they had placed too firm a reliance. "lie seemed For dignity composed, and high exploit, But all was false and hollow ; though his tongue Dropped Manna, and could make the worse appear The heller reason." HYPOCRISY. 65 Who bid poor Britain, of each friend bereft, O madness ! with her right hand wound her left ; * Divide a People's hearts, then forceful bands Of Union form, to join their jealous hands; Hands, not in silken cords of love entwined, But linked by chains that rather gall than bind ; That //•£/ not fasten, hurt but cannot hold, Though forged by Pitt, and rivetted with gold. ■(• Hail glorious Rulers, whose starvation plans First banish beef, then tax our pots and pans ! Who plof to puzzle, meddle but to mar, And patch and cobble all things, nought repair. And doing still, that nothing may be done, Permit none else to end, what ye've begun ; Oh generous Britain ! worthy nobler fate, Nibbled, and gnawed to death, by Rats of State : How long! of Errors must thou sit and see, This mirthful, mournful, Tragi-comedy ! Hail Land for Satire made, for smiles, and sneers, For scorn, and pity, merriment, and tears ; * Could Alexander the sixth be permitted to take a peep at the Map of Europe ; on surveying the present situation of England, Ireland, and Portugal, would he not again exclaim to Borgia, "Vides mi Fili ! quaui leve sit discrimen, patibulum inter et statuam." f The open and unblushing bribery by which the union with Ireland was carried, is too notoiious to be here enlarged upon. I 66 HYPOCRISY. Where factions fret and fume, and follies rule, To ronze our rage, or feed our ridicule ; Where scenes most solemn still suffuse our eyes, As grief, or laughter force the drops to rise ; Where Christians own That God their deeds defy, With lips confessing whom their lives deny ; While Intidels, * by doubts and terrors torn, By night half worship, whom by day they scorn, Whose hand blaspheming, trembles while it writes, And proves that Atheists are but Hypocrites. * Infidels begin by attempting to prove Christianity a bauble ; the toy of grown children, and weak and superannu- ated minds. But having persuaded themselves that it is a toy, do not these same Infidels act the part of children, when, having neither skill nor talent to take it to pieces, and examine its parts, they destroy and demolish it, to find out its contents? Like the onset of the French troops, they make their attack with much noise and fury, but they deal more in sound than in sense ; and if we can ever wring from them the articles of their creed, we find that they are Infidels from the most paradoxical of all reasons, believing too much. The stream of their Eloquence, fed by no perennial fountain of li- ving Waters, loses itself in the dreary wastes of absurdity, and oonjecture, like the Niger, which after wandering through the deserts of Africa, is at length lost and absorbed in the sands. From the disorder and confusion apparent in this world, they would argue that it is the Prison of the Universe ; but a future life is that master key which alone can set them at Liberty, and- tnis they will not apply. With the means of escaping in their hands, and a reprieve signed and sealed by the Lord of Life HYPQCRI9Y. 67 Hail Land for Satire made, whose soil affords Rich Bankrupts, brainless Bards, and beggared Lords ; Where Courts old Women * guide, and Young the Camp, » And vice made current, wears a royaj stamp, The bloodless blade while fribble favourites wear, And spread the charlock's j" useless gaudy glare ; in their possession, they perversely prefer a dungeon to Liberty, and darkness to Light. They have said in their hearts, but not in their heads there is no God ; this is their hope, net their convictiou. Miserable hope ! which deprives life of all its dignity, but disarms Death of none of its terrors. I have heard that Lord Bolingbroke, when in France, attempted to convert a French Abbe. He heard all his Lordship's objections with great patience and politeness. "You have now informed me, my Lord," said he, "what you do not believe ; will you do ma the favour to be equally communicative on a different subject, and make me acquainted with what it is you do believe?" The Abbe having heard his Lordship's creed, concluded the dialogue with this laconic comment ; "I now perceive that if your Lord- ship is an Infidel, it is not for want of faith." Do not Infidels strive to make Proselytes from motives of fear, rather than of zeal ? and do not their attempts to convert others, betray their own doubts, rather than their convictions ? "Defendit nume- rus«" And they shrink with horror from the idea of being left alone, in the solitary possession of a system so gloomy and forlorn. • Eg. gr. The late Duke of Portland. When Mr. Fox was asked why it was so common to compare thatMinister to an old wo- man, he replied,"I suppose the reason is,t hat he is pasta// bearing, f A gaudy weed, remarkable for impoverishing the Laud. *68 HYPOCRISY* Stars, garters, ribbons, riches, rank, inherit, •Conquering with ease all obstacles— but merit Where others bolder, first seduce our wives, In pure compassion then demand our lives ; Strong to destroy, but impotent to save, '• And to defend their vices only, brave ; Whose foul adulteries, should blood be spilt, And murder crown them, are no longer guilt ! If such things are, shall virtue vainly weep? Shall Vice be broad awake, and Satire sleep I Such Soldiers were, I will not say they are, Nor shall the muse their growing merit mar, Fain would she twine, to live in after days, Their lasting laurels, with her dying bays ; Show them the foe, their follies they forsake, And instant in the Hero, lose the Rake. The Sword once drawn, a Hector in £he field. Each Bond-street Paris bids the Gascon yield. The intrepid Actors of such glorious deeds, Who strives to stain, must blush if he succeeds ; Their foibles, or their faults, let those proclaim, Who never heard the glorious trump of Fame, Parched Egypt's sands, or Maida's plains resound, Vimiera's Vale, or Talavera's Mound, And Anholt's Isle, where steady as the Rock He guarded, Maurice met th' unequal shock! But who is he ? with Sorrow's sombre mien, Born for high deeds, yet shunning to be seen ; HYPOCRISY. (J) Who seeks in yon deep Shades where none intrude, Some shrine, by nature raised, to Solitude ; Droops, like the widowed Dove beneath the storm, Though strong to brave it, in its rudest form; Yet doomed to win that prize he seems to fly, Though grief bedims the lightning of his Eye ; Now dear to Sympathy, but soon to fame More dear, all hail ! victorious, pensive Graeme. * Go fond Enthusiast, quit the Cypress gloom, Too constant Mourner at thy Laura's tomb ; Enough of tears already hast thou shed, The voice of weeping cannot wake the dead, I bid thee not the paths of pleasure trace, Nor quit her Image, for some Syren face : Still sliall She follow, through the devious way, Tho' distant realms behold her wanderer stray ; Mid brightest scenes, the tear shall dim thine eye* And pale the splendours of sl southern sky. * See Mr. Sheridan's speech, for a very interesting account, of the severe domestic calamity that induced the subject of these lines to enter the Army, at a late period of life. Having lost the dearest object of his affections, he became a disconso- late wanderer over the face of Europe, the victim of the deep- est melancholy. At Toulon he joined the British Forces' as a volunteer, and was constantly in the post of danger ; here his innate military talents first displayed themselves, and from his topographical knowledge, he was enabled to render most im- portant services to the British Army. 70 . HYPOCRISY. But o'er Gaul's proudest Haven, he surveys St. George's Ensign like a Meteor, blaze ! There, instant Britain claims her generous Son, And grief no longer holds him all her own ; The Martial trumpet sounds the loud alarms ; New to the Field, he shines- the first in arms ! His wondrous worth, stern Veterans attest, And heaven-bom Generals are no more a jest; Corunna's Chief applauds with parting breath, And on his kindred bosom sinks in Death. Oh catch a spark from that expiring fire, And to unrivalled praise brave Graeme aspire,! E'en for thy low laid Fair exalt thy name, That she who had thy love, may share thy fame ; Let Europe know, and haughty Gallia feel, Th' unequalled temper of the British Steel I He heard, and sought those Heights where Britain's sword Dared do, what Britain's pen scarce dares record! Where pondering noblest feats, her Warriors stood, Firm astlie Mountain Pines that fringed the Wood ; While Graham read in each unaltered Eye, "Barossa's Sun shall set in Victory !" Hath the long March tamed their fierce Spirit ? No ; Light are the steps that lead them to the Foe ; Fatigue they scorn, and with more swiftness run, Dangers to seek, than others do to shun. HYPOCRISY. 71 To paint that scene of triumph, and of ruth, Romance thy glowing pencil lend to truth. Where Valour's self might have retired, unstained, "The Graeme " on prouder purpose bent, remained ! Nor stayed to count the Foe, but onward sped — The gallant Few were Britons that he led ! Advanced, to plant the laurel on that ground, Where safe retreat had been with glory crowned ! Though dangers hemmed him in, which but to shun And 'scape with skill, most victories liad out-done. Great without Titles, brilliant without Stars, Thy passports to Promotion are thy Scars ; Those Scars thy modest worth would fain conceal, It is the Poet's office to reveal. And Britain's favourite Prince, those formal bands Regrets, that bind awhile his grateful hands ! Ah! think not France, that generous Chieftain viewed Thy carnage red, with exultation rude ; Mid desolating war, some peaceful plan He still revolved, that meant the good of man ! Beneath his tented couch, loved Scotland's Chart* Proved the poor Peasant's Welfare, near his heart! * In his tent might be seen very accurate delineations of his possessions iu Scotland; and his intervals of leisure were constantly dedicated to his favourite object, the bettering the conditio!) of the Scotch Peasants ; th;ui whom, there are no men who cau subsist with fewer comforts, or who deserve rnor.e* 72 HYPOCRISY. Mis Heart ! no tump of Ice, that feelings (fear To sorrow cbilled, or froze compassion's tear. Yet, when he thoughton Her, who from the skies, Perchance, beheld him win the glorious prize ! Oh then, a flash of joy's unvconted beam Broke on thy Breast, victorious, pensive Graeme; As when, through parting clouds the Lunar ray, Cheers the worn Seaman's melancholy way . Then Pity's Self was pleased, ana smiled to see True Valour, close allied to Sympathy ! In the same breast she saw united grow, The sternest courage, and the softest woe : Which, o'er his Valour cast that sombre shade, Round Britain's Oak, by circling Ivy made ! Illustrious Chief ! whose virtues, where they chuse^ Decoy that willing wanderer, my muse, Farewell ; I hear some critic damn the verse, Approve the Subject, — the digression curse ; To conquer Britain's open foes, be thine, To brand her false and fatal friends be mine. To mightier hands, ah ! gladly would I yield The toils, and triumphs of this fertile field ; GifFord awake ! resume thy powerful pen, That dread of knaves, and hope of honest men ; Rouze then, refreshed like Sampson, from thy bed Of sloth, and crush proud guilt's triumphant head ; Each mean misnomer scorn, be thine the task To strip from things, no less than men, the Mask ; HYPOCRISY. 73 Call vice and virtue by their proper * name, 'Though this a Palace, that a Prison shame ; * To give fair names to foul thirgs, is a specie* of hypocri- sy, the baleful influences of which spread more widely, and in- fect Society more dee ;ly, than is generally imagined. In this fashionable vocabulary wholesale murder becomes Victory, In- justice and Oppression, Strong Measures ; A postacy,Cont mion, • Lying Inconsistency ; picking Pockets on a large scale, Pecu- lation; Sfc. and in private life, Swindling is softened down in- to Bankruptcy, Cheating by law, into Chicanery; to seduce the Wife, is an Intrigue ; to shoot the Husband, is an Affair •/Honour; to dine with a friend in order to ruin him irretrie- vably, or ourselves in the attempt, is to be fond of Play ; and he who his carried the three last vices to the greatest perfec- tion, is dubbed a Man of Gaiety. But this species of Hypo- crisy doth not only give fair names to foul things, but foul names to fair ones. Thus Pal riots on this side of the Chan- nel, have been termed, to suit certain purposes, Jacobins; Libeial Men Levellers ; and Reformers Revolutionists. On the other side of the Water, Loyalty is Treason, and Resto- ration, Rebellion. This kind of Hypocrisy is of very ancient growth, but it would seem that civilization is the soil in which it thrives with the greatest luxuriance. The Athenians were a polite People, and Jortiu has informed us they were notorious for this Vice. Thus they termed the Jail a House ; the Hang- man a Commoner; and the Thief, a Lever. This vice flourish- ed also at Rome, and most in the Augustan age, under the fostering hand of that great Emperor of Hypocrites. Some- times it was united with elegance, a* when Cicero consoles Sulpicius, by reminding him that in a season so calamitous, to (lie republic, the Gods could not be said to have taken cwny K 74 HYPOCRISY. Shared they the felon's fate, that share his sin, Hags might quit Newgate, to let Ruffles in ; Raise then thy Voice, and in thy boldest strain Revive the great Aquinian * once again, Grasp at that fame, the poet's proudest hope, The first in satire since the days of Pope. I grant the monstrous vices of the land, The great axe rather than the pen^ demand, And well deserve, to thin their horrid list, An Executioner — Their Satirist ! ! Young, who the mark nor failed nor feared to hit, Yet blinds us with one constant blaze of wit, Dazzled, but not enlightened by the Rhime, The point so charms, we scarce detest the crime ; Tickled, not taught, we must refuse the palm To Young's j" o'ergrown, gigantic Epigram. life from his Son, but to have given him death. And in a manner equally ingenious, but not quite so refined, did Pa- trick account for the death of his Friend, to one who enquired what had become of their mutual companion, "By my shoul, now, an unfortunate little accident happened to him one day ; he was engaged in very earnest conversation with the Priest, opposite the old Bailey, when the Plank on which he was standing gave way, the Priest escaped unhurt, but our poor Friend Murphy, dislocated his neck in the fall. * This alludes to Mr. G's spirited Translation of Juvenal, who was born at Aquinum in Italy. t From this censure I would wish to exempt the Night Thoughts; a work wherein son:c tine specimens of sentent;- HYPOCRISY. 75 \Y ho laughs * men out of follies, if the nice Attempt succeed not, laughs them into vice; And One in Satire's garb, of place and time Mere slave, sculked forth, th' apologist cf crime, To Tully's fire, and Cato's -j* courage blind, Yet, could all worth in false Octavius find ; With that Imperial Hypocrite to dwell, To manly freedom bade a long fare veil ; Hut Truth, and Flaccus parted there, he went To Court I ween, and Truth to banishment. Stern Churchill's J lines want elegance, and ease They often petrify, but seldom please ; ous satire may be found, surrounded, I admit, by many ab- surdities. It would seem that Young extolled the charms of retirement, and mediocrity; and then was offended with the world, for believing him in earnest, There have been men, since the days of Aristippus, who have commended cabbao-«s in the country, chiefly because they could not command three courses at court. Non pranderent olus, si scirent Regibus uti. * Young's wit was certainly of the first water, but after all, it is a delicite task to laugh down follies, or vices. Clumsy ridicule, reverts upon its author, and thus emboldens those whom it attacks. Besides, it is necessary to make a thing al- most harmless, before a wise man will permit himself to laugh at it. t For some remarks on this line see Appendix. J His Prophecy of Famine seems to have excited, at the. time it was written, more attention than it deserved; and at pre* sent, in common with all his other works, is perhaps too much neglected. But. this is the usual fate of all writers who are in- 76 HYP0CRI9T. / In garb of limey woolsey, rough, and coarse, He clothes his muse, proud, petulant, and hoarse,, A bold, but blind and boisterous partizan, He wounds the Vice, less deeply than the Man. Cowper, whom of this charge we must acquit Yet faijs in splendour, sprightliness, and wit, Of their bright wheels deprived, his cumbrous Verse Drags on, more slow and solemn than an hearse ; Thro' tides of ink it moves, as heavily As Pharaoh's Chariot thro' th* o'erwhelming Sea ; Where oft, mid froth and foam of words, we trace Some tame trite truth, correct and common place ; Good moral stuff, that neither heals nor harms, Disgusts us never, but too seldom charms. He flew too low, hence nobler game he missed, Nor pounced his prey, a mousing Satyrist. Yet can this melancholy Bird of night Sustain at times a loftier, bolder flight, Hence twice perused, I throw the volume down, Glad to approve, and scarce inclined to frown. debted to political parties, or national prejudices for their P ©- pularity. When the Prophecy of Famine was, shewn to Wilkes, previous to its publication, he shrewdly observed, that "It must take, for it was political, personal, and poetical." May not then the fame of Churchill be considered to have been e- rected on a kind of Tripos ? and if the Fabric now begins to totter, is it not because the hand of Time has deprived* it of two of its logs, Politics, and Personalities ? HYPOCRISY. 77 If two, the least complacent of the nine, Thy suit rejected, all the rest were thine ; Though Homer blame thy too officious quill, Cowper, "with all thy faults I love thee still." Most when with vivid flash thy genius proud, Illumes thy grief, the lightning of the cloud ! \\ hen beaming through the tear, thy brightning eye Perceives the Rainbow in thy troubled sky ; Then faith and hope proclaim, with holy joy, Storms may overwhelm thee, but shall not destroy. But not each petty vice of private life, The Squire's dull rage, or Rector's stupid strife, Not each low meanness of these little greats Deserves the Satyrist's contempt, or hate ; The Eagle, soaring near the Eye of day, Stoops not on vile or refuse things to prey, But towering far above ignoble fowls, Leaves carcases to Crows, and mice to Owls ; The Knave ennobled, mitred, starred, arrayed In merit's garb, Right Honourable * made, Whom plenitude of power and pomp support* A Monarch's Master, stationed high at Court ; * It has been observed, that a King can make men ho- nourable, or right honour able ; but he cannot make them Men of Honour. Cicero has th is sentence, "Oesar, cum quos- dam ornare voluit, non illos honestavit, sed orniuaeuta ipsa turpavit»" 78 HYPOCRISY. Such to transfix, yon Eagle throned above, Might steal a thunderbolt from slumbering Jove; May such keen Satire's stroke be doomed to feel, More just, and searching as a Felton's steel. * No blows from feathers, strike from flints the spark, No pointless arrows penetrate the mark ; Wit lent the wing, keen satire edged the dart That made Lord Fanny feel, proud Chandos smart ; True to their object did those arrows fly, As that on which was labelled — Plulijy's Eye. * It has been lately proved that the famous ghost story, related by Clarendon, was a family contrivance, to prevent the Duke of Buckingham from embarking in that expedition. His assassination by Felton was an unforeseen coincidence, which gave great plausibility to thedeception. It is now known also, that Mrs. Veale's apparition was a fabrication got up by the Booksellers, to promote the sde of Drelincourt on Death ; a publication which Mrs. Veale is made to recommend, in pre- ference to Sherlock — no great evidence by the bye of her post' humous taste. Time, which has made a great many real Ghosts, has also unmade many false ones. I sincerely wish it was in my power to give any satisfactory solution of a similar affair, at Sampford, which at the moment I am now writing, namely, June30:h, 1811, is going on with unabated violence. A sum exceeding two hundred Pounds has been ready for any one who can explain the causes of the Phenomena, but no claimant has yet been found. The affair has been going on t*o years. HYPOCRISY. 79 And all I wound are free their wrath to cfrown In Aster's blood — whene'er they take a Town. * But quit we Politics, that nauseous theme, We fain would drown in Lethe's deepest stream ! Since state disorders our state Quacks, 'tis true, Ascribe not, Britons, to themselves, but you ; And to your lack of trust in them, each ill Attribute, rather than their lack of skill ; Thus monks, when sainted relics fail, are sure To impute to want of faith, j* the w ant of cure. * This alludes to the well known story of the King of Macedon. An Arrow was shot from the ramparts of a Town he was besieging, on which was inscribed, "For King Philip's right Eye." It reached its royal destination; on this, Philip ordered the same arrow to be thrown again into the Town, but with a different inscription, "When Philip takes the Town, he will hang up Aster." A facetious French Abbe had engaged a box at the Opera, from which (after being seated,) he was rudely turned out by a certain Mareschal of France. He brought his action in a court of honour, and pleaded his own cause ; he began thus : "It is not of Mareschal Turenne, who took so many towns, of Suffrein, who took so many ships, or of Cre- billon, who took Minorca, that I have to complain ; but if, is of that Mareschal who took my box at the opera, and never took any thing else, in the whole course of his life." t When the liquefaction of the blood of St. Januariue, or any other species of solemn legerdemain does not succeed, those conjurors in Cowls impute their failure, either to the ab- sence of faith, or the presence of heresy. 80 HYPOCRISY. Such Rulers too, like those sly Priests, support, And with like views, thro' right, or wrong, the Court, Both love, for good of Church and State, to nurse Those twins, the Prince's power, the people's purse ; Nor would they leave, did Whitbread cease to frown, The subject sixpence, or the King a crown. And some (for grossest Errors Rulers cloud y As thickest fogs the loftiest mountain's shroud,) To office raised, have gloried in their shame, And on their very blunders built a name ; From dizzy height of power, a Peer was known To claim dear Walcheren's laurels all his own ; He with a Pygmy's strut stalked after Pitt, * This an huge Elephant, that — a Tom Tit, AYho daring in his mighty track to tread, Sunk in each footstep, deeper than his head. Then sick of Parties, Placemen, and their tools, Formed but to rule, like Popery, rogues and fools ; * It has been fashionable at certain anniversary Dinners for Ministers to worship their Idol, the Ghost of Pitt ! with an enthusiastic veneration, hardly exceeded by that which the Turtle, and Venison command. So gross, and servile has been their adoration of the memory of "The great Statesman now no more" that they will not venture to take to themselves even the merit to which some of their late plans are perhaps entitled. Thus like some other admirers of that Minister on the Banks of the Cam,they have turned poor Glory out of the Senate-house» to make room for the Statue of Pitt. HYPOCRISY. $1 Shall I this cacoethes of my brain Unpurged, in suffering silence still sustain? Or all that's monstrous steal from Shakespeare's verse, Arabian Calibans, Kehama's * Curse, * We cannot sympathize with such Beings as these. "Homo sum, nihil humani alienum a me puto." Here we are put in possession of the grand motive to benevolence, and compas- sion. But these imaginary Beings partake of nothing in com- mon with us j nor are they liable to any of the feelings, or ac- cidents, griefs, or pleasures which ''flesh is heir to." There- fore we weep not when they weep, we rejoice not when they rejoice. An insatiable craving for som 3 new thing is, perhaps the only point in which modern readers resemble the ancient Athenians. It is not therefore to be wcndered at, if even such a writer as Mr. Southey, whose powers it were ridiculous to de- ny, from the manifest difficulty of satisfying the public taste with originalities, serves up a dish of high seasoned absurdities in their stead. Comparisons have now been so often compa- red ; things capable of description, so often described ; and remote resemblances so often connected ; that it is in a just, and novel application of old Ideas, rather than the invention of new ones, that modern wiiters must look for celebrity. Perhaps there is no such thing as absolute originality. We are all indebted more or less to others. Would Shakespeare, Locke, or Newton have attained the highest excellence in their respective departments, had they been shut up in an |»land, and condemned to live with half a dozen such Poets I- 82 HYPOCRISY. Or pine like Chatterton, or Canning thrive ; On Satire starve, or Panegyric live ! The muse that praises on the Knave bestows, On a vile Dunghill costly incense throws; And more to puzzle and perplex her lays, Must make the virtues that she means to praise. Then lend me, Pratt, in Truth and nature's spite, Thine art, on nothing, something still to write. If I write ill, * sage Critics! Who can tell ! It may provoke your worships to write well ; and Philosophers as Voltaire, and to read half a dozen such Authors as Godwin ? * Nonum promatur in annum, might have been a good rule for antediluvian Authors. Nonam promatur in horam would better apply to this present work. It is well known that many of the sheets were sent to the Press on the day they were writ- ten. I do not plead this as an admissible excuse for inaccura- cy ; but whether by taking race pains I could write better, is a question I cannot resolve, having never m ide the experi- ment. 1 am inclined to think Style is like Hay ; that which gave the fi.ost trouble in making, and took up the most time in putting toge'her, is usually the worst. 1 admit that no time can be too long, no attention too vigi- lant, no labour too unremitting, which is occupied in render- ing ourselves fully acquainted with the subject on which we propose to wpte? But thinking, which is ptrhaps the most prtcious part of our life, is also the shortest part of it. To think is truly to l.ve ; Cogitamus ergo sumus ; alas If life were measured by this scale ouly, whit Ephctneride* would HYPOCRISY. 83 So vice be slain, 'twill not my temper move That I the whetstone, not the sword, must prove. On then, my muse, th' exhanstless theme rehearse, New follies rise much faster than thy verse ; Follies though past, like Rivers, are not gone, Still flowing by, yet ever coming on. It must be so, while o'er the world preside Two Sister Queens, Hypocrisy, and Pride ; Alike their sovereign jurisdiction own The Jail, the Church, the Cottage, and the Throne. most men be. Those who will be at the pains to think before they write, rather than afterwards, will find that words and ex- pressions will follow of course. If some writers are not easily understood, it is because ihey do not understand themselves. All who are intelligent, are usually intelligible. Therefore let us be quite sure a thing is worth saying at alt, before we rack our brains to say it well. To clothe poor ideas in rich expressions, is but the amusement of grown children, busied in dressing up their trumpery dolls in tawdry habiliments. After all, the public are perhaps a Lttle unreasonable, when they expect a Satirist to torture his brains for their amuse- ment, whose only encouragement is the certainty of abuse. For hit a knave where we will, we are sure not to please him; and a fool is often angry without being hit at ail. But I have one consolition, as I have not half the genius of Pope, or Dry- den, I may hope to escape with half the censures lavished upoa them* 84 HYPOCRISY. Of Rank and Riches proud, the Placeman see, The stern Republican, of Poverty. And Broadbrim sports his dittos, and his hat, Proud as Lord Fanny of his silk cravat. Proud of his debts and Phaeton in four, Sir John to borrow seeks Avaro's door, Who to the Senate just about to ride, On half-starved hunter mounts, to show his pride ; Sir John his suit obtains, but stranger yet, Pride makes a miser scorn to claim a debt. * * John Elwes. This extraordinary man was never known to demand a debt. Avarice was his ruling passion, but pride was the disturbing force that produced no small eccentricity in his character. His conduct in Parliament was perfectly in- dependent, and to say that he changed his principles as often as his dreis, would be in truth to say that he was the most con- sistent member of that house. He represented Berkshire, and was much respected in the County. I have heard my Father say he has known more than one instance wherein two parties had mutually agreed to be decided by his single arbitration, without appeal. In settling the affairs of a widow Lady, Mr. Elwes had taken great pains, and had performed two or three journies to London. At a large dinner party, this Lady warmly expressed her gratitude, and observed, that 9he much wished she could hit on any plan of recompensing Mr. Elwes, without wounding his pride. A Gentleman present enquired, •'Pray, Madam, how many times has Mr. Elwes rode to Lon- don on your business ?" She replied, ** three times ;" "Oh then, send him half a Crown, he will put eighteen-pence clear gain in his pocket , L " HYPOCRISY. 85 O Pride ! flie Scholar's spur, the Coxcomb's aim, That changing still, art in each change the same, Supreme alike o'er beggars, bards, and kings, The Poet feels thine influence, while he sings ; What art? that cans't ten thousand shapes assume In Church, in Senate, Camp, and Drawing-Room ; That canst, while Benchers stare, make E-k-e bless, Yet damn by deeds, the freedom of the Press ; Make Whitbread scorn, weak P— ty worship power, Teach Gibbs to woo the Court, Burdett the Tower ; Send Doctors M : and D : with stomachs full. And empty heads, to measure Person's * skull, On that dense Cranium, with fond amaze, Consoling sight to them! they raptured gaze ! In dissertation deep indulge, t' explain How head so thick, such learning could contain ; While these with Gall, and these with Kamper side. Let common sense for once the point decide, To skull so thick, grave Sirs ! 'tis past all doubt, Whatever once got in, — could ne'er get out. A name is all, — from Garrick's breath, a puff Of praise, gave immortality to snuff! * To ascertain the cause of Mr. Porso^'s death, his head was opened ; when to the confusion of all Craniologists, and the consolation of all B/oc/c-heads, he was found to have the thickest skull of any Professor in Europe* 80 HYPOCIUSY. Since which, each Connoisseur, a transient heaven Finds, in each pinch of Hardharri s * thirty seven ; Though Crichtons now, nor Mirandolas, strive An age of learned monsters to revive, Yet, what mad systems will not Scholars frame, Whose goad is vanity, whose object fame ; To far Angola see Monboddo sail, To prove Men, Monkeys, — had they but a Tail, f * Garrick, when at the height of his popularity, made his friend Hardham's fortune, merely by puffing his Snuff occa- sionally on the stage, when acting any part which admitted the use of a snuff-box. f Adarn Clarke, L. L. D. has out heroded Herod ; as a monkey-monger he has thrown Lord Monboddo completely into the back ground. He has undertaken to prove, gentle Reader, that the animal which deceived Eve, was no more or less than an Ouran Outang ! He hath also kindly informed us that he \erily hath some charity left for those who differ from him in opinion; I hope his stock is large, as the run upon it will be great. In his quarto Bible with Annotations, there is a most prolix and learned note on the Hebrew Term Na» ehash, Genesis, Chapter 3d. This term our Translators, sim- pleSouls! had rendered — Serpent. But it is f.»ir to let Dr. Clarke, who I understand, can preach fluently in twelve lan- guages, speak in plain English for himself. He thus con- cludes a most elaborate note ; "It therefore appears to me, that a creature of the ape, or Ouran Outang kind, is here in- tended ; and that Satan made use of this creature, as the most proper in>trument for the accomplishment of his murderous purposes, agninst the life and soul of Man." HYPOCRISY. 87 To foreign lands for fit examples roam, That Bond-street might have furnished, nearer home ; But Bond-street owns thy sceptre, Pride, again Tli j wand can turn her monkeys, into men. Her beausthe coachman ape, at thy command, These useless things now manage Four in Hand ! O Pride, thou canst such good, produce, and evil, Art thou of light a Spirit, or — the Devil ; Thou canst makeCollyer scribble, Fuller speak, Teach Sheridan to construe Belgrave's * Greek, While county -members all agog to hear A peerless speech, see but a — speechless Peer t ! Through Pride mistaken Richlieu would the Cid Out-rant, -j* but Paris that attempt forbid; * A noblemm notcmous for quoting Demosthenes in the House of Commons. Mr. Sheridan, at times took the liberty of translating hisGreek for thebenefitof the county members. f This great Statesman was extremely jealous of the genius of Corneiile. He was much exasperated with the Parisians, for their just, but marked and decided preference of the Cid, to all the dramatic efforts of their Minister. He was very desi- rous of literary fame, but not at all scrupulous how he ac- quired it. He ottered Mr. Jay a considerable sum of money, if he would permit him to have the credit of his Polyglott Bi- ble. On seeing the statue of this Cardinal at the Sorbonne, Peter the great exclaimed — "Illustrious Statesman now no nrrtire ! How gladly wou-ld I huve given thee one half cf my 88 HYPOCRISY. Hence did Sir Robert * his just fame forego, Less proud to be the Statesman, than the Beau, Through Pride did Wranghamf write in angry fit, Lest Strangers should mistake him for a Wit ; AY*hen grapes from brambles, thorns from vines we pull, Then Wrangham may be bright, Matthias dull. Hence Capel + cries, — no wonder meteors fall, When rising bards are hid in Crispin's stall, kingdom, to teach me how to govern the other." I suspect this would have been a dangerous experiment ; had the Czar given the Cardinal one half of his kingdom, that cunning Churchman would soon have possessed himself of the whole. * Sir Robert Walpole was more anxious to be thought a successful gallant, than a Statesman. Lord Chesterfield cun- ningly advised Courliers not to flatter Walpole on his politic cal talents, because this subject was a stale one ; but rather to compliment him on his successes with the Ladies. •j" This Gentleman has taken much unnecessary pains to convince the world he did not write the Pursuits of Literature. * Mr. Capel Loft, the zealous admirer, and indefatigable Pa- tron of Bloornfield. This Gentleman's benevolent but unsuc- cessful attempt to recover an unfortunate young woman, who had been hanged at Bury, is well known. A simi- lar experiment was performed on the body of D r. Dodd. I have heard the late Dainea Barrington affirm, that he was one of a party who had prepared a Room, with all the apparatus ne- cessary to resuscitate Dr. Dodd. That the hangman viasfeed, that ihe Doctor's neck was not dislocated, and that he had no HYPOCRISY. 89 Now wastes his breath on verses, now on winds, And now a Cornet^ now a Cobler finds ! By gas poetic, or galvanic led, Now makes the living sleep, now wakes the dead ! O Pride, thou born in Heaven, bnt nursed in Hell, What contradictions mark thy potent spell 1 Satan, mistaking thee, might stand aloof ! Posed by an angel, with a cloven hoof! In state to church hence Dignitaries ride, There sent by both, — Hypocrisy and Pride, In silk and sat tin clothed, sleek as a mole, They, Paul's poor wardrobe, staff and scrip extol ; Though Sirius rage, both scarf and hood put on, Nor spare one scarlet rag, from Babylon ; From Pride, e'en tho' their gilded carriage wait, They preach humility, — then "dine on plate." O what "fantastic airs before high Heaven," Doth man affect, puffed up by this vain leaven ! A proud Apostle is that prince of fools That wounds himself, whene'er lie works his tools. doubt they should have succeeded, but that the immense croud, and vast assemblage of Carriages, prevented the hearse from reaching the scene of action, until it was too late; but that even then a few taint symptoms of life were perceptible. M 90 HYPOCRISY. O take deception, any shape, beside High-church Humility, — that worst of Pride, That Root* of Vanity, that creeps so low, But that th' aspiring head more high may grow. Is there a light, a solemn mockery, Ye cannot act — Pride, and Hypocrisy ! Ye can make Churchmen sink the price of pews, Touched by some feast's, or fast's portentous news ; Teach them to split precedence to an hair, And for the red book quit the book of prayer ; "While high-bred Dames "f e'en at God's altar see Viscountess A, deposed by Countess B. Ye can teach Priests to lisp, my Darling Dove ! While their Religion stoops, to fan their love, A double love they feel, a fiercer spark, When theypreferment court,— and Mistress Clarke. { Ye bade proud Ilorsley preach the Right divine Of Kings, and o'er fallen Papal Priestcraft whine ! * "Quae quantum vertire ad auras JEtbereas, tantum radice in Tartara tendit." See Paley on "Rooting." f Those who have witnessed some extraordinary scenes in certain fashionable Chapels at Bath, will need no explanation of these lines. % A Certain Doctor's laudable ambition to preach before Royalty, the public are well acquainted with. HYPOCRISY. 91 Hence Pope at Timon's * taste and Villa laughed, Then disavowed the Mark, but owned the Shaft ; With aukward zeal, that more inflamed the part, Laboured in vain t' extract th' envenomed dart ; Then mean concessions made, that nought re- trieved, And wrote apologies that none believed. Ye could, to Ferney banished, teach Voltaire -\ To change his Notions, when he changed his air ; His honied flatteries, for satiric stings To quit, and caned from Courts, to rail at Kings. Allied, Ye could inspire Prophetic Kett ; Make Middleton remember to forget ; * Duke of Chandos. f Voltaire flattered Kings to their faces, and lampooned them behind their backs. When at Berlin, he wrote this Epi- gram on bis patron, and host, the King of Prussia ; ♦'King, Author, Philosopher, Hero, Musician, Free Mason, (Economist, Bard, Politician, How had Europe rejoiced if a Christian he'd been, If a Mao, how he then had enraptured his Queen." For this effort of wit Voltaire was paid with just thirty lashes on his bare back, administered by the King's Serjeant at Arms, and was actually obliged to sign the following curious Receipt for the same. "Received from the right hand of Conrad Baehoffner, thirty lashes on my naked back, being in full for an Epigram on Frederick the third, King of Prussia. I say received by me, Voltaire. Vive le R >i ! ! !" 93 HYPOCRISY. Ill Hastings point a Verres out to Burke, And bid place-hunting in Philippics lurk. Ye could clear Johnson's * Eyes, and make him swear Whigs might be honest, Patrons insincere ; That to one pension merit might succeed, And that one Scot wrote something fit to read. Ye tutored Pitt to bellow, promise, prate, Reform j* or Ruin to vociferate ; * Johnson altered his ideas of pensions and of patrons, af- ter he had experienced the substantial help of the one, and the professing, but delusive politeness of the other. In hi* Poem, entitled "Vanity of human wishes," a Couplet was al- tered ; it now stands thus, "There mark what ills the Scholar's life assail, Toil, envy, want, the Patron, and the Jail." And in his Dictionary this definition follows that ill-starred word, "Patron, Commonly a wretch who supports with in- solence, and is repaid with flattery." The Doctor having ob- served, with more prejudice than taste, that no Scotchman ever wrote any thing worth reading, a Gentleman present, quaintly rejoined, "Pray Doctor, what do you think of Lord Bute's or- der on the Treasury for your pension of three hundred per annum ? I am inclined to hope, that there are but few En- glishmen, (who feel at all interested in the literary reputation of their Country,) who do not wish another cypher had been adled to that sum. Happy would it be for England, had all her pensions been so well bestowed." t 1 have heard that Mr. Pitt, when in opposition, pulled HYPOCRISY. 93 Then Freedom's Friends to Newgate dare to send, For printing Pamphlets he himself had penned! * While hackneyed, hoary sycophants applaud Their Chief, — a beardless Veteran in Fraud; out his watch, and exclaimed, "Every hour that retards Re- form, accelerates our Ruin." When we consider how many hours this man was minister, and that he never made one mo- tion on Reform, except to impede its progress ; is it not self- evident that power was that plank to which he had determined to cling, even amidst the wreck of (he Constitution. That he was "The Pilot that weathered the Storm," is a sentiment that hath been often said, and often sung; But I would have these speech-making and song-singing bottle-holders to the Ghost of Pitt, remember that the ruinous consequences of his admi- nistration will more and more be felt. These form the tailqfthat hurricane whose increasing violence it were wisdom to anticipate, prudence to provide for, and fool-hardiness to de- spise. It is little to say that he who presided over an administration notoriously venal, was himself free from the charge of corrup- tion. If an horde of Banditti overpower us, gag us and pick our pockets, is it any consolation, that their Leader, who counte- nanced the Robbery, partook not of the spoil ? * In the Rev. Mr. Hall's Pamphlet, on the Freedom of the Press, published during Mr. Pitt's administration, which Pamphlet ran through many Editions, we find the following bold and important assertion. "Mr. Holt, a Printer at Newark is now imprisoned in Newgate for two years, for re- printing, verbatim, an address to the People, on Reform, which was sanctioned for certain, and probably written by the Duke of Richmond, and Mr. Pitt." Par nobile fmtrum ! I 94 HYPOCRISY. Spaniels that must their feeder still commend, Till unpaid Pensions shall their flatteries end ; Was Fox his friend? Was Jenkinson his foe ? Did Paley praise ? Did Horseley blame him ?— No. Could Genius bless? Could Ignorance bemoan His reign, who damned all Talent— but his own? firmly believe this to be true, for the subsequent reasons; be- cause Mr. Hall is far too respectable a character, both as an Author, a Man, and a Minister, to affirm a falsity, or even ad- vance an accusation so heinous, on light grounds ; because this statement, (to the best of my knowledge) has never been contradicted ; and lastly, because I know that many were sent to different prisons in the kingdom, and more were threatened, for advocating the cause of Reform, and reprobating the Sys- tem of Corruption, in language much less violent, than Mr, Pitt himself had used when out of office, in support of those same patriotic, and constitutional principles, from which, when once in Power, he apostatized so meanly. "Fuit enim non ve- ris virtutibus, tantum mirabilis, quantum arte quadam abju- venta, in ostentationem earum compositus." There was aeon- tutional coldness, and a freezing hauteur about this minister, which yielded not to the most intoxicating draught of intem- perance ; yet it must not be said, "Ad evertendam rempubli- ctm sobrium arcessisse." On the contrary, he seems to have made in all his war-whoops old Ennius his model, who "Nunquam nisi potus t ad arma, Succurrit dicenda." Butit would seem, that neither the fire of Youth, nor of Love, nor of Wine, could thaw the icicles that guarded his heart. Ht, and with an hurried step. He so ordered it, that an handsome sum ofMoney should be immediately con- veyed to her, and that her eldest son should have permission *o feturn to his home ! O si sic omnia ! ! t * The Pope was not a little astonished to hear of an Heretic •.■ho could pray with at least as much sincerity as any of his g.\ 11 mitred predecessors, and fight with much more vigour. Waller and Walton, pars pro toto. They were not the ot-ts and Theologians that turned to worship the rising Brian W ; altou's Polyglott Bible in six folio volumes, uae oiig ually dedicated to Oliver Cromwell ; after the resto^ ration it v\ as addressed to Charles, and the former dedication v. as studiously suppressed. Some Copies, however, are ex- Wailer's P.uiegyrick on Cromweil, is a much inore- *uirited Poem than his Congratula ion to Charlts. This d«d not escape ihe ; eoetration of that witty monarch ; but who- ouiil sty a <40od thing to him was safe; and Waller nude the amcttcit honorable, when he reminded Charles that Poets HYPOCRISY. 09 Mid Mirth, to Freedom dealt severest wounds, With smiles more fatal than his Father's frowns ; From wit, and wine arose, to take a life * That wild commotion spared and civil strife. Faithless, and cruel proved, to gain his ends, Both to forgiving foes, and suffering friends. Then James, through lust of power, for gallic Gold, Himself, his honor, and his Country sold ; More deeply still his subjects to enslave, Under the Bigot's mask, concealed the Knave ; A Tiger, to the Foes he could disarm, Most to be dreaded, when he feigned alarm ; Prepared by Torture to support his Throne, And hint that horrid wish he dared not own ; always succeeded best in fiction. However, both the Poems have ment, and seem to contradict, (for Waller was a Water- drinker,) that axiom of Horace, "Nulla placere diu, nee vivere Carmina pos^unt, Quae scribuntur aquce potoribus." Those were times of general expectation, and of almost as ge- neral disppointment. But it is melancholy to reflect that when rewards rould be found for the apostacy of Turn Coats the unskrinking loyalty of such men as Butler, and Cowley, was left to starve on barren praise, and empty admiration. * Algernon Sidney, "What joy can human things to us afford, When we see perish thus by cross events, l'l men, and wretched accidents, The best cause, and the best man that ever drew a sword. " 100 HYPOCRISY. Cold, callous wretch, whose ignominious reign Made Treason, Virtue ; Loyalty, a Stain : Compound accurst, of Tyrant, Hypocrite, Who style him Kn.ave, or Bigot, both are right. * * This alludes to the la:e controversy between Mr. Fox and Mr. Rose, on the character of James the second. It would seem that these Statesmen are both right, and both wrong. For the contradictory extremes of Knave and Bigot, exhibited their monstrous union in the Heart of that unprincipled Mo- narch. It ought to be generally known, that an anonymous, but authoritative tran?lation of Mr. Fox's History, has lately been published at Paris. In this Gallico-sycophantic, and emasculated translation, or to use more properly the French word, traduction, all the fine passages in favour of liberty, are either omitied, or melted down into common place generali- ties. Of course, we search in vain in this translation, for Mr. Fox's splendid eulogium on Washington. His just censure also ot Hume, for becoming the apologist of Charles, in the murder of Algernon Sidney, is also, for reasons sufficiently plain, expunged. The tine contrast between Churchill, the tool of James, and the same Man as Marlborough the Gene- ral of Anne and humbler of Louis, is emitted; and the de- spondency of the Nation, on observing the despotic temper of Charles the second, is also obliterated, by this trembling Traducleur. "Lugdunensem Rhetor dicturus ad aram !" One sentiment, which escaped from Mr. Fox, is made the most of, and conspicuously introduced, notwi hstanding the free and uncourtly tenor of the context; I allude to that pas- sage where Mr. Fox ofestrves that a Restoration, is usually the mo->t bloody and dangeious of all Revolutions. But to return to the real charac.er of James. Even his own brother must HYPOCRISY. 101 But hold, some captious Critic, * choaked with rage, Refers my readers to my Title-page, have entertained a most contemptible opinion of him, as ap- pears from the following anecdote ; James, when Duke of York, was exhorting his brother Charles, to make use of great- er precaution to preserve his life from assassination ; Charles replied, "Never fear, brother, while you live I am safe; no man will murder me to lmke you King." The Bigotry of James appears strongly in his attempt to convert Colonel Kirke to popery. Kirke, who had improved a disposition naturally savage by a command at Tangier, informed the pro- selyting Monarch, that he was pre-engaged ; being under a promise to the Dey, if ever he changed his religion, to turn Mahommedan. The Knavery of this Prince, I think, is equally conspicuous in his conduct towards Monmouth. Un- der an hope of Pardon he prevailed on him to sign a document of his own illegitimacy, when at the same time he had deter- mined on his execution, within forty eight hours after the in- terview. Though he trembled at the thought of openly a- vowing so heinous an intention, yet it is too evident from his own letter to the council at Edinburgh, that it was his secret wish that Argyle should be tortured previous to his execution. * It may be objected to me, th^t censures on the Critics do not come with a very good grace from one who has in some de- gree imitated them, in the freedom of his remarks on others. But my strictures are not anonymous; and in addition to this, I have brought my own stock also into the literary market. My rhimes are heartily at the service of both critics, and Au- thors. I wish them the same pleasure in cutting them up, I had in composing them. But an Author, attacked by Critics, 10a HYPOCRISY. Now growls a curse, now rubs his eyes, to scan The comprehensive circle of my plan. The cause and source, my motto * might explain, Of that variety that racks his brain, But ah ! 'tis Latin^ and this Morning's dawn Saw him for Tripe his Dictionary pawn. who give hitn no specimen of their own productions, and wh« conceal their names, resembles a Man in the pillory ; he is covered with mud, without an opportunity of retaliation. One of our best Critics has been candid enough to make this con- cession, "The worst piece of Poetry that ever was written, is worth more than the best piece of Criticism that ever was writ- ten upon it." It is notorious that the Critics, from their ma- nifest partialities, and prejudices, have for some time ceased t» possess any influence over the public taste. There are many literjry characters who constantly purchase those publications the critics have honoured by their censures ; and as constantly decline the perusal of those which the Critics have disgraced by their encomiums. The price of Criticism per sheet, is as well known and settled, as of beef per pound ; the latter com- modity is perhaps the most digestible. But let any author re- view his own work, let him do it fairly, but favourably ; let him forward it gratis, and without a Name, to any of the Re- views ; I will answer for its reception. The Critics may per- haps reply, that in my own case, an exception would certainly be made. I can assure them 1 do not intend to try them. But to make sure of some wit, I shall insert their remarks, in a second Edition. * Docebo Dissimulare Omnes, certa ratione, modoque. HYPOCRISY. 103 Then Truth ! his garret seek in English dress, Tell Him All knaves dissemble, more, or less ; All who to sin unblamed, to cheat unknown, Assume another's garb, or drop their own. Ah teach me, sapient Critic, to enchain Like Sorbonist in rope of sand, the main : Fetter the mind ! with sceptered arm controul The settled purpose of a Cato's soul ! On Chair of state enthroned, curb in the waves! Make Frenchmen, Freemen! Generous Britons, Slaves ! White-wash Napoleon's crimes ; their number write, Or lash a Knave, and spare an Hypocrite. Hypocrisy, thy reign I must uphold, Extensive as Creation, and as old ; The Sun's an Hypocrite ! that darts us down Fevers with smiles, and kills without a. frown; Converts with sudden stroke of fatal ray, * To endless night, the Indian's garish day ; Sends Famine forth, decked out in garments bright, And tantalizes thirst with Jloods of light, What time the Mirage, j" with deceitful beams, The fainting Arab mocks with airv streams. * The Coup Soleil, or stroke of the Sun, which often pro- duces instant death. f The Mirage is an optical delusion effected in the deserts, 104 HYPOCRISY. And Earth's an Hypocrite ; when all around With plenty laughing Ceres clothes the ground, She opes her horrid jaws, and swallows down Her monstrous meal, a Province, or a Town ; Then bids whole Vineyards, torn from mountain's side, Rush through the trembling Vale, on fiery tide. * The Sea's an Hypocrite, to all who pass His Surface, smooth and flattering as a glass, Jocund, they dream not of the Ruffian storm, That waits the night, his vengeance to perform. And Time, that grave, and hoary Hypocrite, For ever runs, yet conquers all by flight, Makes known each hidden thing, yet lies concealed Himself, in dark, mysterious mantle veiled ; Time future is not come, Time past is o'er, -\ Time present, while we grasp it, is no more ! bv the R iys of the Sun. An appearance most refreshing, but most deceitful, is pourtrayed, *o as to impose on the most accurate observer of nature, if he has never before witnessed the phenomenon. * The lava. See Brydonne. The most elegant writer of Travels in our Language. "Non anglus, sed angelus, siforet Christianus." f The above line separated from its context has too much the appearance of a truism; but it is introduced to shew theab- fcurdit\ of flattering ourselves with the possession of that, of which cool reflection muot convince us we can command so little. HYPOCRISY. JOS And Love himself, dissembler turned, the old Links to the young, in sordid chains of gold. And Death's an Hypocrite that beats the whole, With laughter kills, or the mirth-wakening bowl, Summons from peaceful Plenty's loaded board More Victims, than from Famine, or the Sword; He knows, ah Traitor! with overwhelming joy, * No less than slower sorrow to destroy ! Into his cold embraces men beguiles With beauty's lures, or hollow friendship's smiles; Or craftier still, in ambush loves to lie In the bright mirror of Camilla's Eye. So vast my subject 'tis a task to tell Not where it doth, but where it doth not dwell. Close then my book, all ye that hope to see On theme so varied, uniformity. While Critics, f ever glad of an excuse, From lofty garret level low abuse ; * This is like giving a man a prize in the lottery with one hand, and the sentence for his immediate execution, with the other. f Critics, says Sterne, ought ruther to become the objects of our pity, than of our resentment ; since like Hangmen, they are obliged to execute for bread. It should therefore be a consi- derable advantage to a work, to have received their censures; o 106 HYPOCRISY Scurrility sublime in Attics writ, But not with Roman strength, nor Attic wit, for an Author may set what price he pleases on a Book, that has been condemned to be burnt, by the hands of the common Hangman. In some extracts he has made from Miss Seward's letters, Sir Richard Philips thus comments on the probable consequences of her severity on the Reveiwers. "Her just ex- ecration of Reviews, and of the principles, and of the practices of anonymous criticism, will however draw down upon her the denunciations of those, who live by that species of Felony; and probably tarnish the lustre, and diminish the sale of the Work." Bravo, Sir Richard ! this is candid ; But "Quis custodiat ipsos Custodes ? TVJiss Seward records an anecdote of Johnson, I do not remem- ber to have seen before, which, as it is ad rem, I shall give my Readers. "I remember," says that Lady, "to have been pre- sent, when Lucy Porter enquired of Dr. Johnson how far she might be guided by the Reviewers, in the purchase of books? You will find them infallible, said he, provided you buy every thing they abuse, aud nothing that they praise." "When I was at Bristol," says Miss Seward, "a Lady said to me, my Son is at Merchant Taylor's School ; he has there a friend, and school- fellow not yet sixteen, who has been em- ployed by one of the Review Editors, to write strictures for his Work, on your Memoirs of Dr. Darwin." Such are often the presumptuous deciders on new publications, A Friend of mine, has infornitd me of a similar instance. It was, he s-iid, with a mixed sensation of merriment, and dbgust, that he saw a certain undergraduate at Cambridge, very far from being HYPOCRISY. 107 Like Scales, those No-Name Cowards, one and all, Ne'er rise, until their adversary fall ; Affect to feel the least, what galls them most, But look out sharp for some defenceless post ; Meek Hypocrites, whose Patience nought offends, 'Tis not their own wound grieves them, — but a Friends. * To me their frowns or smiles are much the same, Malice I dread not, and 1 court not fame. Be this my meed, "Unpensioned, and unpraised, In Virtue's cause his feeble voice he raised; arrived at years of discretion, strutting about his Room, writ- ing anathemas, and forging thunderbolts of criticism for the Reviewers, with all the infallibility of a Pope, and the con- ceited arrogance of a School-boy Prepostor. A Pen in such hands, is a Razor in the hands of a Monkey : with which he is much more likely to cut his own throat, than that of another. * When Churchill's Rosciad came out, a cunous scene pre- sented itself in the Green Room. All the Actors pretended not to feel what had been said of themselves, but were only sorry, and hurt thit Mr. such an one, that harmless, quiet, goad sort of a man, should have been attacked. This Gen'leman, who happened to overhear their affected commiserations, suddenly exclaimed, "and pray Gentlemen what right have you to suppose thtt I have not as much philosophy as yourselves ; and to set me down for the only one amongst you, who has not sense e- Hough to be indifferent to such animadversions :" 108 HYPOCRISY. Prized Independence, and a private post, More than all Queensbury won, or Anson lost ! * With noble rashness, in a selfish age, Defied of power and prejudice, the rage; Nor cringed to Sycophants, nor stooped to Slaves, Nor feared the wrath of fools, j- the wit of Knaves ; Could see and scorn the Worldling's dirty toil, Could mark the scramble, and despise the spoil." Worldlings, in search of wants, overlook their joys, A few things granted, all the rest are toys ; Old wine to cheer me give, old wood to warm, Old books to solace, and old friends to charm ; $ * The unvarying successes of the late Duke of Queensbury, on the turf, when Lord March, not a little disconcerted the knoicing ones ; they falsly cdculated, on'the usual quantum of folly, to which Lords are entitled, both by birth, and educa- tion. In Lord Anson, they found an harvest. The treasure of the Spanish galleon, became the prize of some Sharpers at Bath; on which occassion it was observed, that Lord Anson had been round the world, and over the world, but never in the world. f The impenetrable shield of dulness, which often prevents a fool from feel ng an attack, as often renders harmltss the ef- fects of his resentment; like the cumbersome armour, used by the Knights of Chivalry, whose solidity protected the wearers, but whose weight prevented them from injuring others. + Thtse were the four modest wishes of King Alj'honso the wise. Were Princes always as moderate, both they and their subjects, would be much more happy ! HYPOCRISY. 109 Thus let me live, when winds with wintry sound, Cast Autumn's yellow mantle o'er the ground; ^Y lien morn my limbs hath on the mountains braced, And northern blasts in steel my nerves have cased ; Pressed by no load from indigestion bred, Light as the Swift, that as he flies is fed. Ah, while the poor * from pining want com- plain, And cloyed abundance gives the Affluent pain, I thank my God, who gave me what was meet, And to the middle path restrained my feet; Made temperance needful, and to shun excess, My duty first, and now my happiness! Hail Temperance! Thou giv'st unenvied wealth, Unguilty joys, unmedicated health, Sleep undisturbed, and appetite uncloyed, And the sweet meal, first earned, and then enjoyed. O mayest thou still my frugal board controul, Physician of the body, and the soul ; Beneath thy culture thrives each virtuous seed, Nurse of the generous thought, and manly deed ; * Paley quaintly observes that the difference between the Rich and Poor is simply this The Poor have plenty of ap- petite, but nothing to eat ; the Rich have plenty to eat, but no appetite. 110 HYPOCRISY. Rome's legions trained by thee, their flag unfurled, Themselves they conquered first, and then the World; " 'Till Earth's stern Masters, Luxury subdued, * More fell than Gothic Rage, or Civil Feud; From fallen degraded Rome, then didst thou fly, To bolder spirits, and a bleaker sky ; There still the tenant of the mountain rear, To grasp his Highland steel, pale Gallia's fear ! Shall I, Contentment, Independence, Health, Forego, for sordid servitude of Wealth ? For filthy gain, these blessed gifts of heaven Shall I renounce, "and hope to be forgiven V Vast wealth, and sleepless nights are near allied, Oceans, not streamlets, feel the restless tide ; Small houses, greatest comforts oft possess, And small estates the greatest happiness ; Men put the rose-bud's essence, brought from far, In smallest phials, never in ajar ! Crowned with mild ale, brown jugs no poison hold ; Fear ye the laurel juice, f Who quaff in gold ! * "Tantum non est mihi crede ab armata acie periculum, quantum a eircumfusis undique Voluptatibus." •f ■ ■ "Sed nulla aconita bibuntur Fictilibus, tunc ilia time, cum pocula sumes Gemmata, et lato sentinum ardebit in auro." Sir Theodosius Boughton was poisoned by Donnellan with HYPOCRISY. Ill More pleased to pluck than taste their hoarded fruit, The worldly * lose enjoyment, in pursuit ; a distillation from the laurel. He had married a Sister of Sir Theodosius, and hoped by murdering him to succeed to his possessions. ■ "Tanti tibi non sit opaci Omnis artna Tagi, cjuodque in Mare volvitur Aurum Ut somno careas, ponendaqne prsemia suraas." * Worldlings have been with much accuracy, and vivacity, described as follows, by the pen of one who added the expe- rience of near a century, to the erudition of the Scholar, the close observation of the successful Dramatist, the vigilance of the man of business, and the unimpeached integrity of the Gentleman. "A man who is gifted with these lucky talents, is armed with hands, as a ship with grappling irons, ready to catch hold of, and make himself fast to every thing he comes in contact with; and such a man, with all these properties of adhesion, has also the property, like the Polypus, of a most miraculous and convenient indivisibility ; cut off his hold, nay, cut him how you will, he is still a Polypus, whole and entire. Men' of this sort shall work their way out of their obscurity like cock- roaches out of the hold of a ship, and crawl into notice, nay, even into king's palaces, as the frogs did into Pharaoh's. But there are more than these — Vain men will have their flatterers, rich men their followers, and powerful men their dependants. A great man in office is like a great whale in the ocean ; there will be a sword-fish and a thresher, a Junius and a John Wilkes, ever in his wake and arming to attack him: These are the vext spirits of the deep, who trouble the waters, turning them lip from the very bottom, that they miy emerge 112 HYPOCRISY. From care to care they rush, from crime to crime, Resolving to be happy, — when they've time; A time that never comes, while day by day They pine, by fever burnt of hope's delay. from their mud, and float upon the surface of the billows in foam of their own making." "But whilst these men may be said to fight their way into consequence, ami so long as they can but live in notice are con- lent to live in trouble, there is a vast majority of easy, unam- bitious, courteous humble servants, whose unoffending vanity aspires no higher than like Samson's bees to make honey in the bowels of a lion, and fatten on the offal of a rich man's super- fluities. They ask no more of fortune than to float, like the horse dung with the apples, and enjoy the credit of good com- pany as they travel down the smooth and easy stream of life. For these there is a vast demand, and their talents are as va- rious as the uses they are put to. Every great, rich and con- sequential man, who has not the wisdom to hold his tongue, must enjoy his privilege of talking, and there must be dull fel- lows to listen to him ; again, if, by talking about what he does not understand, he gets into embarrassments, there must be clever fellosvs to help him out of them : when he would be merry, there must be witty rogues to make him laugh ; when he would be sorrowful, there mu4 be sad rogues to sigh aud groan and make long faces : as a great man mu-t be never in the wrong, there must be hardy rascals, who will swear he is always in the right; as he must never shovv fear, of course he must never see danger; and as his courage must atno time sink, there must be friends at all times ready to prevent its beiiiir tried." , HYPOCRISY. 113 Unto the means, their ignominious strife Would sacrifice the noblest end of life ; For toys they fight, nor give the conflict breath, Madmen, until their own be stopped by death ; Contend for Prizes better lust than won, Then die like Chargers with their trappings on. Blind moles, enough of Earth that cannot have, Till it o'erwhelm and close thein in the Grave ; Untaught the dreadful ditference between Present and obvious, future and unseen. Like men doomed ne'er to die, they live, and then Die with vain hope, they ne'er may live again ; Their chief fear then is, that they cannot die, Cursed (awful thought) with Immortality. Eternal life, with half the toils and pains They take to be undone, the Christian gains ) Thus, doth the Father of all lies deceive Those, who, the God of Love, to serve him, leave. Task- Master hard, destruction is his pay, Nor doth his Service boast one Sabbath- Day ; Their souls, their bodies, like the God of Truth, He too demands ; their Manhood, x\ge, and Youth. And Conscience, sacrifice more costly still, Must they surrender, to their Master's will. A\ liile he, on their swift ruin most intent, Their very wages makes their punishment ; Mocks them with pomp and spendid vanities. That prove a sorry retuge, not a prize ; 114 HYPOCRISY. Denies their soul its health, yet bids them take His nauseous remedy ! their thirst to slake ; The cup Circean, whose disgusting lees Their jaded appetite no longer please. Doubly deceived, in falshood's maze perplext, That neither leads to this world, nor the next, Go, sordid wretches, go, and count your gains, Ideal pleasures, and substantial pains ; Remorseful stings, from talents misapplied, From gifts abused, from promises belied ; From all the foes your treacheries have made, From all the friends your friendships have be- trayed ; From arts that youth's fair Morn with clouds overcast, From dread of future ill, and bootless grief for past. Deceived themselves, who live but to deceive, All such to mercy, and to God I leave ! Not as though I, like Abdiel remained Midst those Apostates I condemn, unstained ; Too well, the Writer knows himself to feel The sad contagion he would gladly heal ; For heaven's pure lamp illumines human mould, And earthen Vessels living waters hold. Are no Physicians to prescribe, but those Who boast immunity from human woes \ Were Vice unblamed save by the blameless, then Must Mortals yield to Angel-hands the pen ! HYPOCRISY. 115 Weep Sages, Heroes, weep and smile with me O'er Man, that Mass of Inconsistency ; Behold Iskander, * gauge that mighty mind ! That Earth enclosed, in limits too confined ; Trained by th' ambitious Seer, -j* whose potent pen The Realms of Science ruled, to conquer men. * Alexander is an instance how much less difficult it is to conquer others, than ourselves. At Persepolis he fired the magnificent Palace of Xerxes, at the instigation of Thais an Athenian Courtezan. His cruelty at Thebes, and his treat- ment of Betis and Calisthenes, ean hardly be reconciled with his generosity to Porus, and the tears he shed for the unhappy fate of Darius. Even at the festal board, Clitus fell a victim to the ungovernable passion of that Hero, whose life he had saved on the banks of the Granicus. But we are still more at a loss, when we compare his besotted extravaganzas at Babylon, with the cool and calculating foresight, and political sagacity he discovered in Egypt, when he laid the foundation of Alex- andria ; a city which from its peculiar geographical advantages, must have been at this moment the Emporium of the World, had it not been for a circumstance which Alexander could not possibly have foreseen the Discovery of the Polarity of the Magnet. t Philip thanked the Gods, for having given him a son at the time when an Aristotle could be found to educate him* The empire over the intellectual World, established by the Preceptor, was as universal, and much more permanent, than that of the Pupil, over the material. The physics and meta- physics of that Athenian Oracle, have received some » u de shocks from the hands of Bacon, and of Newton ; and their Coup de Grace has now been dealt to them, from the lumi- nious pens of Reid, and of Stewart. In one of our Universi- 116 HYPOCRISY. See the World's Lord, the Puppet of a Punk, A God when sober : less than mortal, drunk ; In fight brave, generous : cruel at the feast, In Egypt sage ; at Babylon a Beast. Or turn to him whose spirit-stirring tongue New-braced each nerve, each palsied sinew strung; Who dared defy both Philip, and his Gold, Yet saved by flight * that Traitor-head he sold. ties, Aristotle was long considered the forerunner of Jesus Christ in Philosophy, as John the Baptist was in Grace. A disciple of Newton on hearing some enthusiastic admirers of Aristotle affirm that every thing worthy to be known, might be found in his Works, observed that he could tell them where much more ktio*le ige was contained in a mach smaller com- pass, — He referred them to their alphabet// In the famous Jesuit edition of the Priocipia of Sir Is>de, or the subject of a separate volume ; ef which he hopes Luc- ceius vs ill make him the hero, and even ventures to suggest the propr.ety of h.s telling posterity some handsome l.cs about him. It is curious that Saliust has undertaken the task, aud written the whole account of the Cou

le aim and end of his labours, was to make science useful. With one exception (his iilusrious Name-sake) it might be said more truly than of Socrites, '* .Mihi primus videlur a rebus occultis, et ab ipsa nnura in- 118 HYPOCRISY. Wisdom's bright Sun, enlightener of the world, From his high zenith for corruption hurled. volutis, evocavisse Philosophiam, et ad vitam communem ad- duxisse ; Primus, devocavit a Ccelo, et in Urbibus collocavit, et in Domos etiam introduxit." Young men are sent to the Universities to study the elements of Science, pure Mathema- tics, Logic, and the import of the various terms made use of to express abstract ideas. But all this is done, not with a view that they should take their tropes and figures into Society; or the ten predicaments into the House of Commons; but that having stored their minds with souud Principles, and strength- ened them by habits of reflection and enquiry, they may digest their erudition, and apply it in a form less crude, to the use- ful purposes of social life. These Elements of Knowledge should support the superstructure ; but like all other founda- tions, they should lie concealed. The first thing that a Man, deeply versed in pure Mathematics, must learn, if he would make his knowledge useful, is, that there is no such thing as a straight line, a triangle, nor a circle in nature. But without those previous acquirements, it were impossible for such men to ha\e been eminently beneficial to Society. A very old author observes, *« We feed Sheep with grass, not in hopes of obtaining a crop of Hay from their backs; but that they may supply us with Mutton, and clothe us with Wool.'* But to return to the Chancellor, it is melancholy to reflect that this great man was convicted of notorious bribery and corruption, and sentenced by the House of Lords to pay a fine of forty thousand pounds, and to be imprisoned in the Tower during theKing's pleasuie. Perhaps the greatest share of the blame attaches to his Servants; and the literary habits of their master, might facilitate their depredations. That he himself attributed his ruin to them, is evident, for when on his return HYPOCRISY. 1 19 Insolvent died, and unrevered he lived, By crimes through which his servants only thrived. Or mark, where Charles, to glut a faction * bled, Who, had he kept his word, had saved his head : from his trial they all rose up on his entering into a room, where they were sitting, he exclaimed " Sit down, my Masters, your rise hath been my fall." * It has been fashionable for ignorance and credulity, to attribute the beheading of this Monarch to the Presbyterians. But the truth js, that they were as guiltless of his blood, as the Presbyterians of the present day are of the blood of Louis. Charles the first, by his violent measures, by his attachment to Popery, by the conduct of his fleet, in the affair at Rochelle ; by his countenancing the Massacre of the Protestants in Ireland ; (as fully appeared on the trial of the Marquis of Antrim ;) by his attempt to reign without a Parliament; by his gross violations of the liberty of the subject; by his un- constitutional levies of money ; by his establishment of a kind of Inquisition, of which Laud was Inquisitor-General; by his notorious prevarications, and shameless departures from his promises; by these and many such like enormities, we are justified in affirming that this Monarch committed a sort of Regal Suicide, and unkinged himself. Burnet expressly tell* us, thatwith respect to the death of he King, Cromwell was in suspense, and that Fairfax was distracted about it. The latter would have saved him if he could. Bunet goes on to say that Ireton whom he compares to Cassius, in temper, and in princi- ples, was the person who was chiefli/ eiu ged in taking the King's Life. But he expressly informs us, mat the Presbyte- rians were much agiinst this measure ; and were every where fasting and praying for the King's preservation. Mr. Fox also clearly absolves them, and attributes the death of Charles to its 120 HYPOCRISY* Whose boundless, lawless lust of Power, combined Decisive measures, with a wavering mind. true cause, a Military Faction, whose Councils were dictated by Ireton, and acquiesced in, not unwillingly, by Cromwell. But after Cromwell had purged the House, as he called it, of one hundred and forty of its mos r loyal members, and things were rapidly advancing to a crisis, even then the Presby- terians were the only men who h;id the courage to appear openly for the King. They exerted themselves both in public and private, to save his life. Forty of their most respectable mi- nisters addressed a letter to the General and Officers of the Army, against \he seizing and imprisoning the person of the King. This famous letter to the Army is drawn up in the strongest terms expressive of their abhorrence of the bloody and violent measures then in contemplation; and in a strain of no common eloquence they appeal to Men and ADgels, to witness their solemn protestations against the shedding of Royal Blood. Even on the very day he was beheaded, Calamy, a leading minister amongst them, and others, requested Fair- fax to attempt his rescue. It was too late ; Fairfax found that he was over-reached, and that he had lost his influence with the Army ; " For Oliver had gotten ground To hem him, with his Warriors round." I will be bold to say that there is no fact in History, capable of higher proof, or which rests on more satisfactory evidence than the following ; namely, that the Execution of Charles the first, was a measuie entirely repugnant to the feelings and the wishes of the Presbyterians. To use an homely proverb, I have in this note merely attempted to put the Saddle upon the riirht Horse. Through evil report and good report, I hope I •hall always have boldness to speak the Truth. Unanimity HYPOCRISY. 121 His Royal promise, wind : bis Oath, a breath : Faithless through life : magnanimous in death : With firmness steeled to meet that tragic end, From which he dared not snatch a stedfast friend. False to himself, to God, and men, he dies Mid Priests and prayers, and treacheries and lies. Subjects in silence mourn their Monarch's woe, But Strafford's blood rebukes the tears that flow. amongst ourselves (so far as it can be attained) is of paramount importance in the present times. All Prejudices calculated to widen the breach ought to be rooted up. Therefore I shall mention one instance of the magnanimous conduct of the Dis- senters, which a Protestant Reformed church ought not to for- get. Burnet informs us that at a time when all reflecting per- sons entertained most just fears of a Papal ascendancy, that the Presbyterians submitted voluntarily to the amercement of rights, and to the imposition of tests, that a more effectual se- curity might be found against Popery, and that nothing might interpose till that was done. In the House they commissioned their own member, Love, to say that when the giound for ap- prehensions of a Papal ascendancy was removed, they would try to deserve some favour, but at present they were willing to lie under the severity of the Laws, rather than clog a more necessary icork with their concerns. The House in gratitude passed a vote to bring in a Bill in favour of Protestant Dissentos ; but nothing was done for them, and this voie turned out to be a "Vox et pra?fcerea nihil," Q 122 HYPOCRISY. Hear next, for who the voice of Truth can hush ! How Churchill's * faults make Marlborough's merits blush ; * This man, afterwardsDuke of Marlborough, was employed as an inferior Agent, in the most contemptible and nefari- ous transaction on record in History ; 1 mean when James the second of England, sold himself to Louis the fourteenth of France. Mr. Fox's reflection on this occassion, my Readers, I am positive, will pardon me for quoiing. "How little could Barillon guess that he was negociating with one who was des- tined to be at the head of an administration, which, in a few j-ears, would send the same Lord Churchill, not to Paris to implore Lewis for succours towards enslaving England, or to thank him for pensions to her monarch, but to combine all Europe against him, in the cause of liberty ; to rout his armies, to take his towns, to humble his pride, and to shake to the foundation that fabrick of power which it had been the busi- ness of a long life to raise, at the expense of every sentiment of tenderness to his subjects, and of justice and good faith t» foreign nations ! It is with difficulty the reader can persuade himself that theGodolphin and Churchill here mentioned, are the same persons who were afterwards, one in the cabinet, one in the field, the great conductors of the war of the Succession. How little do they appear in one instance! how great in the other! And the investigation of the cause to which this ex- cessive difference is principally owing, will produce a most use- ful lesson. Is the difference to be attributed to any superior- ity of genius in the prince whom they served in the latter pe- riod of their lives? Queen Anne's capacity appears to liave been inferior even to her father's. Did they enjoy in a greater degree her favour and confidence ? The very reverse is the ff ct. But in one case they were the tools of a King plotting HYPOCRISY. 123 Now the vile Tool of Bourbon's Sceptred Slave f Now Blenheim's hero, bravest of the Brave! But Who is he ? whose Sword a single stain Bedims— his luckless star points out Germaine;* At Fontenoy the Lion of the van ! Appalled at Minden, by a foe that ran. Shall we th' apostate Patriot-Band review \ In Wilkes behold a sample of the Crew ; Much breath he wasted, and much ink he shed, For Freedom ranted, and for Freedom bled ; Could write, harangue,and fight, — then look askance For power at home, or annual bribe from France ! \ against his people ; in the other, the ministers of a free go- vernment, acting upon enlarged principles, and with energies which no state that is not in some degree republican can sup- ply. How forcibly must the contemplation of these men in such opposite situations, teach persons engaged in political life, that a free and popular government is desirable, not only for the public good, but for their own greatness and consideration, for every object of generous ambition. * At the Battle of Fontenoy this Nobleman charged so bravely at the head of his Grenadiers, and had penetrated so far into the lines of the enemy, that when he received a musket Ball through his breast, his wound was absolutely dressed in one of the Tents appropriated to the Retinue of the French King. On his subsequent conduct at Minden, when he com- manded the Cavalry, I shall not enlarge. f "Depend upon it, my dear Sir, (writes Walpole in one of his letters) that Wilkes was in the pay of France during the Wilkes and Liberty days. Calling one day on the French 124 HYPOCRISY. Would ye the Prince of Contradictions know I Sift that embodied Paradox, Rousseau!* Minister, I observed a book on his table, with Wilkes's name on thefirst leaf. This led to a conversation which convinced me. Other circumstances, too long and minute to be here re- peated, strengthened, if necessary, tint conviction, lam as sure ef it as of any fact I know. Wilkes at first cringed to Lord Bute. The embassy to Constantinople was the object of his ambition ; it was refused, and you know what followed. * The father of this extraordinary man was a Watch-maker at Geneva, a rigid Calvinist; after the business of the day, it was his custom to read and to expound the Bible to his Son. These early Impressions, Rousseau could never entirely erase. He is ingenuous enough to admit that the Gospel account of the life and death of our Saviour, of the truth of which he ob- serves many are inclined to doubt, carries with it more internal proofs of veracity, than the account of the life and death of Socrates; of the truth of which all men are satisfied. This paragon of Inconsistency composed plays, and declaimed a- gainst the amusements of the theatre. In his Emilius he puts forth all the poweis of his persuasive eloquence, in recommend- ing mothers to suckle their ch'ldren ; but he renounced his own, and sent them to the Hospital of Foundlings. And to putitout of his own power, at some compassionate moment to reclaim them, he expressly ordered that no mark, date, nor document should be preserved, by which he might be enabled to demand them back. He was about to write in favour of civilization, the belles lettres, and fine art?. "If you do," faid Diderot, "nobody will read you ; this is an age of Para- doxes, write against them." He did so, and won the prize. Deeply imbued with serious and awful views of Christianity, yet was he a leading member of the Club of Atheists at the HYPOCRISY. 125 Whose birth was destined for those precious times, Which suited best his vanities, and crimes ; That Age, for blasphemies and impious wit Renowned, was made for him, — and he for it. No love was found in his capacious soul, For individuals — but he grasped the whole; He could with tears the slightest grief bemoan, Of Adam's Children, yet renounce his own! Nor wife, nor friend, nor parent, made a part Of that society which charmed his heart. A civil war, more fierce than Lucan sung, Set his whole life at variance with his tongue ; Hotel d'Holbach. No man was more eloquent in praise of virtue; and yet his whole life was a practical contradiction of his writings. But he has himself recorded that life, which he acknowledges not to have been distinguished by a single good action ; yet this is the life, says Burke, which with a wiUi de- fiance, he flings in the face of his Creator, whom he acknow- ledges only to brave. His conduct to Hume, during his visit to England, is too well known to require any comment. Burke seems to think, and justly, that vanity was his ruling passion. But to recapitulate all his inconsistencies would be, in other words, to write his life. All his Virtues were theoretical, all his Vices practical. A monster of cruelty to the individual, he could exhaust all the flowers of rhetoric, in praise of benevo- lence far the Species. Burke finely observes that the senti- mental Philanthropist is read and admired by thousands ; while the tender Husband, and affectionate Father, shall be scarcely known in the precincts of then own Parish. 126 HYPOCRISY. By day, of Atheist-Clubs the fond delight, A trembling, Semi-Calvinist by night ; A Social Savage, whose repulsive gloom Silenced the soothing eloquence of Hume ! Seductive moralist, but most in vogue Where it was deemed no stain to be a Rogue, He pleaded guilty, yet defied the Rod, Nor mercy craved, but justice from his God! Vainest, and worst, where All were vain and bad; Chief Madman, on a Stage where All were mad, A baseless, worthless monument he built, Of shadowy virtues, and substantial guilt. Born in an sera that adjudged the prize To splendid fictions, and alluring lies, V'hen Atheists quenched Religion's piercing spark, To act their tragic horrors in the dark ; His genius, like the German's chymic light,:}: Owed all it's lustre to surrounding night ! Pure Motives, with Consistency of Plan, Are heav'n-born gifts, that rarely meet, in man ; IS or dare we hope, to grace tli' historic page, A Washington, or William, in an age. Let some to scale the Wall of China* run, And some to gaze where Venus j* dots the Sun ! * Phosphorus, discovered by Boyle, first sold by a German. * Dr. Jjhnson said he would take off his hat to any man whose «ret- grandfather had seen the wall of China. f Sir Joseph Banks, the learned and amiable President of HYPOCRISY. 127 For fears, aud foes, let others* quit their friends, T' explore where Nile begins, or Niger ends ; To see a grander sight, I'd farther roam, More perils face, renounce a dearer home ; To hail an Honest Man ! God's noblest work ! Jew, Christian, Pagan, Bramin, Bonze, f or Turk. All ye, who think the World -enlivening ray Which glads the heart of man, and rules the day, A gift less precious than that purer light, That cheers the darkness of the Moral night ; Who deeply dread and deprecate that hour, When Freedom's Voice shall fail, suppressed by Power ; All ye, who boast an independent mind, Firm as the rock ! unfettered as the wind ! the Royal Society, was carried out to Otaheite, to observe the Transit of the Planet Venus, over the Sun's disk. This phe- nomenon might have been seen at home, but the object of as- certaining the Sun's parallax would not have been attained. * Bruce, and Mungo Park. The former of these intrepid men, encountered dangers, and overcame difficulties a > road, tventually to become the object of contempt, and ridicule at home; and to live suspected of ampliticatiou, and lies. It is more than probable that the latter, will never have an oppor- tunity of experiencing the ingratitude of the world. f The Bonzes of China are the Priests of the Fohi^ts, and are computed at fifty thousand ; let us hope in charity, there may be one honest man, amongst so many. 1*28 HYPOCRISY. Who deem thai none but slaves are bought, or sold, That chains are chains, though every link be gold ; Ye small but mighty band ! ye matchless few ! Propitious deign to praise 1 write for you. So Friends of Virtue, Truth and Freedom smile, Let B igots * threaten, Hypocrites revile ; Wretches, whose apathy and rage, by turns The Suppliant freezes, and the Sufferer burns ; At once both cold, and cruel, their device And emblem this a burning lens -\ of Ice. Whilst laws have loop-holes, fearless villains gold ; Whilst new deceptions shall outdo the old ; Whilst Dupes are credulous, Impostors keen, The flatterer servile, or the flattered mean, The craving active, or the sated dull, The empty wakeful, prone to sleep the full ; * Paley has this observation, "That as the man who attacks a flourishing establishment writes with an halter about his neck, fe.v will be found to attempt alterations, but men of more spirit than prudence ; of more sincerity than caution ; and of warm, eager, aud impetuous tempers. That conse- quently if we are to wait for improvement, till the cool, the calm, the discreet part of mankind begin it, till Church-Gover- nors solicit, or till Ministers of State propose it; 1 will venture," says he, "to pronounce, that we may remain as we are, till the renovation of all things." t To ascertain whether a convex lens of Ice would produce all the effects of a burning glass, is an experiment which hag •fien been tried with success. HYPOCRISY. J29 Whilst wants or wishes, hopes or fears are found, Hypocrisy shall flourish and abound. Be rich, but care not in what dirty soil You delve for gold, nor what fond Friend you spoil ; Be rich, nor lack of staunch dependents dread, To court thee living, to extol thee dead; Though still with sinful tires thy bosom glow, Whose head is blanched like Hecla's, white as snow ! Though Time that lends thy W oods a deeper shade, More dark with crimes their Owner's mind hath made ; Thy Woods, o'er which, his vast aerial ring The wearied Hawk* describes, with flagging wing; While Cooksfrom France, and Baths of Milk supply With sap of youth thy stale debility, And spur thy jaded lust, and light thy glazing eye ! Libido left a Name as black as night, His wealth, like snow, shall render all things white ; On reams of parchment scribbled o'er and o'er, Lords, Knights, Pimps, Caterers, Punks, and Doctors, pore ! * "Die Passer cui tot montes, tot pnedia servas Appula, tot milvos intra tua puscua lassos.'' Whoever has observtd the circle described by the Hawk or Buzzard, will recollect that this circle is always in proportion to the dimensions of the Copse or Wood over which they a.e towering. R 130 HYPOCRISY. The rich Man's Heirs, should his foul memory stink, In splendid Monument to hide it, think ; Thus, lest the Carcase taint their honied house, Do liees * in wax embalm a Putrid mouse ! Will he accept, Who fills th' eternal Throne, For an unspotted life, a spotless stone \ Though Mausoleums o'er a Wharton rise, Aud Columns lift his Statue to the Skies ; I * The following curious fact in the natural History of Bies, is well known to ail who have paid much attention to the pro- ceeds gs of these half- reasoning Insects. They will unani- mously form a little Phalanx, to draw the dead carcase of a Wasp, or a Drone out of their hive. If a Mouse, who has a fancy for a little honey, should invade their territories, they attack him with their stings. Overcome by numbers, he falls! "Piocutnb.t humi Mus .'" What is now to be done with this dead Gulliver, amongst the Lilliputians ? Their embattled ho^t is in consternation ; "Fremere miles, non tumultus, non quies ; sed quale magna? irae, ac m* gni metus, silentium !'* It is evident that their united efforts would not be sufficient to draw this gigantic Juti u er out of their hive. They know not how destructive to vast a mass of putridity would prove to their little common- wealth ; they are also ignorant that the total exclusion of air wtuld prevent the decomposition of animal sul'Stances ; but iusti ct has instructed them how to guard a- gainst the pernicious effluvia fr.im the mountain carcase of their vanquished Invader ; and has taught them to have re- c< urse to their wax ; their nearest, best, and only remedy. Heme it is i o unusu 1 til ng, on destroy. ng an Hive, to find a 'tend mou»e in a *tae ofcompleat preservation, thus in- Ciusied, and embalmed. HYPOCRISY. 131 Though of his wealth o'ergrown, he settle half On Cam, and Isis, for an Epitaph. We prize and venerate a noble mind, With titles, rank, and noble birth combined ; But all, by blushing Heralds only praised, And by Forefather's crimes, or merits, raised, To fame unknown, born but to fill a space In Calendars, — in Courts a vacant place, Let such be shunned, their Palaces, and Plate Provoke our Scorn, their Arrogance our hate; Pledge not their goblet, though their Cellars hold Tokay, as precious deemed as liquid gold! Though every climate, soil, and sun, combine To swell the banquet, and enrich the wine! Though either Ind her fragrant fruits impart, Till nature drained, implores the aid of art ; Where e'en Lucullus, might be grieved to fast, And own the famed Apollo's * pomp surpassed ; Where swoln Apicius "\ to the feast restored, Might hail new Worlds to glut his Paunch explored; * Lucullus, who did not like trouble, gnve every banquet- ing Room in his house a particular title. The Apollo wa: his most sumptuous Apartment ; and so many sestertia were al- lotted to a feast in that Room. Therefore, when he meant to treat in his most magnificent style, he had only to siy to his Maitred'Hotel, "I dme in the Apollo.' 1 t There were three Gluttons of this name. The chief of them, sailed to the coast of Africa to eat oysters. On not finding them so good as he expected, he returned, without condescending to bind. 132 HYPOCRISY. Cerberian Epicure ! * whose sudden doom Lowered the price of luxuries in Rome ! Were Youth immortal, health, and vigour sold For Continents of land, and Mines of gold ! Some plea we then might offer for the bad, Then were not Worldlings blind, nor Misers mad. But since each acre adds a pang to death, Yet may not purchase one poor moment's breath ; Let Fools their treasures boast — the Wise retort, ' Vast as they are, their tenure must be short. ' What mighty things Cognatus, let me ask, Has't gained, deceived Dissembler ! — by thy mask ? In Youth, each peevish Patron's needy slave, Now rich, but old, and hastening to thy grave. With liaraillai's -\ joyless eye, thy state Thy wealth and splendor view — they come too late ; * Diodonis and Epicharides were said to have swallowed their patrimony as you would a pill. Ctesippus, to provide liitu>e!f with Luxuries, sold the monument of his f ither, which the Athenians had erected at the expense of a thousand drachmas. f And the King said unto Barzillai, come thou over wkh me, and I will feed thee with me, in Jerusalem. And Barzil- lai said unto the King, how long have I to live, that I should go up with the K'u.g unto Jerusalem ? 1 am this day four- score years old, and can I discern between good and evil ? Can thy Servant taste what I eat, or what I drink? Can I hear any more the voice of singing men, or singing women? Wherefore 'hen should thy servant be yet a burden uuto my Lord the King? 11 Samuel xix. HYPOCRISY. 133 Fatiguing pomp, and ceremonial show, Add but a gilded burthen, to thy woe. Who stars and garters seek, with hoary head, Would fain be finely dressed, to go to bed. Without Religion's hopes, the pains, and fears, Darest thou encounter, of declining years ; For age his lines doth in thy forehead trace, But leaves no mark of wisdom, nor of grace ; True Wisdom ! not that purblind worldly thing From which thy rise, thy fall, and ruin spring ; Age mocks thee too with wealth, that bootless prize, Vain wages now of flatteries, fraud, and lies. Feel then, tho' dead to pleasure, Satire's smart, That ownest a palsied head, and hardened heart. Age in each furrowed wrinkle's deepening lines, Thy Sorrows sows, thy pleasures undermines ; Toils on, with shrivelled hand, and brow forlorn, To root the flowret up, and plant the thorn ; Bids sense of pain, in young enjoyment's room, Thrive, like the yew, most lively near the tomb ! With sad remembrance of departed joys, And taste of present woe, thy peace destroj^s ; Gives thee for wit, and wine, and power to please, f n life'e stale cup, the bitter dregs, and lees ; Black dregs, on which each nerve and muscle fed, Ah ! still to torment live, — to transport dead. Age the scene darkens, ere the curtain drops, Detains the guest, and yet the banquet stops/ 134 HYPOCRISY. Thine eyes bedims, in moisture drowns their fire, And chills with icy touch each warm desire ; Condemns thee, in the dark thy .vay to grope, By life's tired guides deserted — Patience — Hope ! Then, Mendicant of air, with gasping breath Leads thee, through pain's dark avenue, to death; There ends, 'twixt nature and disease, the strife ; Death is the Cure where the complaint is life! Thus shall thy race of folly, fraud, and sin, In sorrows end, that did in sighs begin. Then ask not length of days, that giftless gift, * More pleased like Wolfe to die, than live like Swift! f Who with prophetic plaint his doom divined ; The body made the living tomb of mind ! Rudder and compass gone, of thought, and speech! He lay — a mighty wreck, on Wisdom's beach ! Couldst thou, Cognatus, like the setting sun, Review a race, both bright, and useful, run ; O could I promise that thy honoured bier, Should claim the Widow's sigh, the Orphan's tear; Awpot a-vpot. f Swift seems to have entertained some gloomy forebodings of the melancholy fate that awaited him. On seeing a tree the top of which was withered, he shook his head, and ex- claimed I shall behke that tree, I shall die at top. For seven years, only one expression indicative of reason, escaped those lips from which Europe had derived so much pleasure and instruction. HYPOCRISY. 135 And that thy pallid lips, devoid of guile, Should cheer thy weeping friends with dying smile ; Then might I, warmed by love, by duty led, Revere thine age ! and hail thy hoary head, That meekly bows, the stroke of death to meet, As to the sickle bends the ripened wheat ! This is true Wisdom's gift ! that length * of days, Believers pray for, and Blasphemers praise. But, loving none, and, ah ! by none beloved, By scorn without, remorse within, .eproved, Canst thou, Cognatus ! with thyself at strife, And Man, and God, endure the load of life? Sad gift indeed to thee is lengthened age, V/ith conscience war internal doomed to wage. From Heirs who wish thee dead, thy wealth commands Cold, heartless help, doled out by niggard hands; Who grudge th' assistance that thy pangs allays, And curse the kindness that prolongs thy days. Each year to mourn some dear dissevered friend, And o'er the grave thy time-bleached head to bend, This bane of Age, to scape, 'tis thine alone, Who hast nor friendship's griefs nor pleasures known. * "Length of days is in her right hand." 136 HYPOCRISY. But if Youth's joys, by vile dependence crossed, And present prospects, nipped by age's frost, Be all thy gains,— O think on pleasures lost. A form for manly feats of vigour framed, Refreshed by exercise, by toil untamed ; Elastic Spirits, buoyant as the flood, A Pulse that owns no drop of servile blood ; A liberal heart, an independent mind, An eye that beams with candour, bold, yet kind ; All that ennobles, all that gladdens life, The faithful friend, the sympathizing wife ; Chaste flames, extinguishing impure desire, As the Sun's light puts out each baser fire : Charms, that in love and friendship only reign r Each joy to double, to divide each pain ; Disinterested love, and converse sweet, The Social board, where equals, equals * meet ; Where no feigned welcome greets the formal guest, Where temperance finds the relish, wit the zest. These hadst thou found, then also hadst thou known, That secret rare, to live content alone ; Who best can fill true Friendship's sacred post, * IN eeds Friends the least, yet knows to prize them most. Then hadst thou dared to scorn the titled herd, And golden hours,the Mantuan'sj* choice preferred ; * Nulla nisi inter aequales amicitia. ■f "O fortunati nitnium sua si boua uorint Agricolae !" HYPOCRISY. 137 In sweet communion with th* illustrious dead, Whom fancy warmed, and Truth immortal led ; Friends that ne'er flatter, slander, or intrude, Yet bidden, come, to charm our solitude ! These, while they yielded sweets that never cloj T , Had strengthened all thy powers to enjoy, With memory strong had blest thee, to digest And keep, with judgement free to chuse, the best; With taste, untaught to cringe in gallic school, Which Patrons might respect, but might not rule; With spirit bold, and manly, to decry In letters, as in creeds — all Popery ; That dares detect, because as odious quite, In learning, as in faith, — an Hypocrite ! Then justly meet without scorn's chilling eye, And hear within that voice thou canst not fly ; That woe-denouncing voice, whose accents deep, While midnight silence listens, murder sleep ;* Sounds like to those that wronged Cassandra grieved, Too long discredited, too late believed ! A voice thou mightst not fly, couldst thou the wind That drives the tempest, to thine axle bind ! Yea the space-cleaving pinion of the Dove, Without her innocence, would useless prove; * "Surdo, verbere credit. 138 HYPOCRISY. Who bears his own tormentor in his breast, O whither can he fly, and be at rest ? Live, — that thy body and thy soul may be Foes that can n't part j and friends that cann't agree ; And wish for Death, yet hope thy wishes vain, For Death, at once thy antidote, and bane ; A shelter sad, to which thou fain wouldst fly, A dangerous refuge, which thou darest not try ! ThuSj the tossed Bark, of winds and waves the sport, Would shun the storm, but dreads the hostile Port I Death ! foe to vice, but Virtue's surest Friend, Thou endless 111 ! or of all Ills the end ! Hope-blasting blank, or life-conferring prize, That mayst make happy, and that must make wise t Thou dreadful, soothing, sure, uncertain thing, Herald of Light, of shadowy darkness King; What art ! in whom such wide extremes appear! The Captive's solace, and the Tyrant's fear. By thee, the world, in awful balance weighed, Is lighter than the shadow of a shade ; Yea systems, placed in thy mysterious scale, With all their Suns, and subject Planets, fail! Thou, their inflated emptiness to try, Dost weigh them all against Eternity ; Outweighed, Time's transient creatures kick the beam, Eternity discovers them a Dream ! HYPOCRISY. 139 Of Thrace, and Ephesus * illustrious Seers O for your constant smiles, and ceaseless tears ; Ye laughed, and wept, though then j* no Ideots gazed At Popes, no Bigots raved, no martyrs blazed; * Democritus and Heraclitus, the laughing aud weeping Philosophers. "Jamne igiturlaudas, quod de Sapientibus, alter Ridebat, quoties de limine moverat unum Protuleratque pedem ; flebat contrarius alter ? Mirum est unde illis oculis suffecerit humor, Sed facilis rigidi ciiivis censura cachinni." t i Q uanquam non essent Urbibus illis Pnetexta, et trabeaj, fasces, lectica, tribunal. juv. Translations of this Author are in every one's hands; there* fore I have not thought it necessary to subjoin them to the quo- tations. It is curious that an Author whose condensed and sententious style is so very unfriendly to the task of transla- tors, should have been so often attempted by them ; and what is more, with such success as hath crowned the labours of Mr. Gifford and Mr. Hodgson. It strikes me that the paucity of good poetical translations may be fairly traced to the follow- ing cause; the Poet in composing, has generally made choice out of various Ideas that present themselves, those particular ones which the language in which he writes, and the metre which he has chosen, wiil permit him to express in the most elegant and ftlicitous manner. It is evident that this choice of Ideas is an advantage of which the Translator cannot avail himself. If this be true, of course it would follow that good translaions of Prose Authors, would be much more common than of ihe Poets. Now has not experience proved that this is the X40 HYPOCRISY. Ere o'er fell Torquemada's * fiendlike tongue, In gloomy raptures, Isabella hung; Ere sealed Indulgences, and Peter's-pence Reared Folly's throne, o'er wreck of common sense ; case ? I apprehend a Translator, if he wishes to giin credit by his labours, ought to select an Author who abounds with lively images, and vigorous thoughts, but not pourtrayed and ex- pressed in the must felicitous manner. It is the "curiosa dicendi felicitas,' and the'melliti verborum globuli,' that render it quite impossible for any Translator to do justice t_> the Odes of Ho- race, or the Moral Painting of Pope. It sometimes happens, that some favourite, and almost vernacular phrase in the lan- guage of the Translator, may suit a particular passage better than that mode of expression adopted by the Author himself. In this case, the Translation will surpass ihe Original. A Friend of mine translated a Latiu Distich which he saw on a window at Glastonbury. 1 shall give it my readers, as it is a strong proof of the truth of the above position. The only part of the Monastery theie, which still resists the ravages of time, happens to be the kitchen of those good Fathers. VTempla ruunt, et Sancta Dei, sed tanta palati Cura fuit mouachis, tuta Culina manet." "Their kitchen stands, their ruined Altars nod, The Reason's plain, their belli/ was their God /" * Isabella of Castile married Ferdinand King of Arragon; by this marriage the two Crowns were united. John Dt Tor- quemada.a Dominican, and her Confessor, had extorted from her a solemn promi->e that she would do every thing in her power, to extirpate Heretics. This man is to be considered as Under Satan, the principal instrument of the establishment of the Inquisition in Spain. He was made Cardinal, and Inqui- HYPOCRISY. 141 Ere rich Loretto's shrine, or Beckett's * stone, High mass, or Tabernacle cant, were known. Ye wept and laughed, e'en in those favoured times, Before James*scribbled prose, or Hopkins f rhimes; sitor General ; and during the fourteen years of his adminis- tration, he kept the great square of Madrid in one constant blaze. He prosecuted one hundred thousand persons^ and condemned six thousand to the flames. * The follies and extravagances acted at the tomb of Beckett were equal to anything of the sort in the Papal dominions. At this sepulchre, Henry the second submitted to a sound fla- gellation, on his bare back, administered by the Monks. It appears that the devotion shewn to Beckett at Canterbury had quite effaced the' adoration of the Deity. The donations of one year stood thus; at the high altar of God, one penny ; at the altar of the Virgin, /-4 Is 8d. At the Altar of Beckett 1954, 6s 3d. The great riches of his Shrine attracted the attention of Henry the eighth. He robbed it of its treasures ; and he cited the dead Saint to answer in court. It does not however appear that he obeyed the summons. Death was not to be cheated of his» victim, by an Habeas Corpus ad respondendum. As an appearance in Court after being so long immured in a sepulchre, happened to be one of the few miracles this saint could not perform^ he was of course condemned as a Traitor ; and bis name was erased from the Calendar. t James th^ 6ih of Scotland, and first of England, wrote a Commentary on the Revelations; Basilicon Doron, or advice tohisSon; Dremonology, or a Treatise on Witchcraft; and a pamphlet entitled a Counterblast against Tobacco. He effectually took care to prevent Sir Walter Raleigh, the Intro- 142 HYPOCRISY. Ere Henry * female blood in torrents spilt, To shun a crime less deep — the Adulterer's guilt. Ere shovel-hats, square caps, gold-headed canes, Or three-tailed wigs, supplied the lack of brains ; Ere suits at Chancery Court, or Lincoln's Inn Were heard — more hard to finish, than begin ; On Cambrian sheep ere pampered Pleaders dined, While o'er the parchment skins, starved clients pined ; Ere Eunuchs could a Nation's taste reproach, Ere Fidlers kept, or Nobles drove, a coach ; Ere wit and Sheridan; gave up the stage To Carpenters, and Pantomimic rage ; Ere Sophs for public dinners, read a week, To startle Aldermen with scraps of Greek ; Ere Bards the year with monthly Epics crowned, And Grocers purchased Poems by the pound ; ducer of that Weed, from using it, by cutting off his head,fif* teen years after sentence. * Sternhold and Hopkins— "Par nobile Fratrum !" "Et cantarc siraul et respondere parati." In an -early edition, of their Version, there is this passag* from Psalm lxxir, 5. A Man was famous according as he had lifted up axes on the thick trees. «'A Man was had in re-pu-ta-ti-on, Who lifted up his axe great trees upon ! ! + Henry the eighth, who never spared a man in his anger, cor a woman in his lust, teas also an Author, and wrote a book a- gainst Luther ; for this book the Pope complimented him with the title of Defender of the Faith. HYPOCRISY. 143 Ere travelling Cubs by pedant Priests were led, Ere Critics censured books they never read ; Ere grave Hypocrisy, with flag unfurled, Bestrid this doleful laughing-stock the world ! This Tragi-comedy, and empty show, For Realms above — enacted here below. Whose Follies every Bard hath felt and sung, But sung in vain, from Homer down to Young. Men know they serve for nought, yet slaves remain, Th' exploded bubble grasp, and hug the chain. Illustrious Seers ! this age your strength had tried, Laughter had burst your veins, or sorrow dried ; An age that with more Monsters doth abound, Than Galilseo in the Zodiac found ; An age when Sharpers make or unmake Kings, And meat and drink are proved superfluous* things ; Guineas incumbrances ! that merely tend To burthen those who monthly millions spend ; When witty Lords "f are poor, rich Poets £ dull, And brains are worn in pocket, not in skull ; * Several Friends of mine have seen that extraordinary wo- man, Mrs. Ann Moore, often mentioned in the News-papers, who left off eating and drinking about three years ago, and re at ill alive. f Lord Byron. % Hayiey. 144 HYPOCRISY. From Hemp escaped, when Knavery struts in silk, And in an Envoys-Beauty finds a Bilk; When men of honour deem all wrongs redressed, Would their kind Foe but shoot them through the breast ; When States like Bankrupts, richer day by day Become, by debts 'twould ruin thein to pay ; When Britain sneers at foiled Napoleon's brags, And beats him with the refuse of French * Rags! When Peru's heights, o'ertopped by proud Cornhill, Lament their treasuries have no Paper-mill ; When Suns contain no heat, star-gazers swear, And Seas no water "f hold, but empty air ; * Bank notes, always manufactured from Cambric Rags. •f Professor Davy has carried on so successful* war wiih the Elements, that we shall very soon have none left; his last vic- tory was gained over alkali. To set the Thames on fire, does not require so great a Conjuror as was formerly imagined. To all who, like the Spartan Youth, may he induced to im- mortalize themselves by a glorious bonfire, it may be consol- ing to be informed that Water has an inflammable base. One of the most sagacious conjectures that ever escaped from mortal lips, a conjtciure the result of observation as acute, as it was extensive, aud hazarded, if it could be called a hazard, on the ground of patient enquiry, and scientific deduction, was made by Sir Isaac Newton. At the time when Water and the Dia- mond had defied all the powers of chemical analization, this profound Observer was induced to imagine, from their great. refractive powers, that they were bodies possessing an inflamraa- HYPOCRISY. 145 When parts destroyed, diminish not the whole, Though Berkeley takes the body, Hume the soul! With whom 'twere vain to reason, since a post * Might best confute theirs*, the last a Ghost, "j* ble base. It has now been clearly proved that pure Carbon, the most combustible of all bodies, is the base of the Diamond ; and that Hydrogen, the most inflammable of all the airs, is the base of water. * Berkeley, Bishop of Cloyne, a man whose talents were only exceeded by his Virtues, wrote a book, to prove the non- existence of matter. His reasoning was so ingenious as to have been considered unanswerable, till Reid and Dugald Stewart detected its sophistry. "Physics, of Metaphysics beg defence, And Metaphysics fly to Common-sense" On hurrying down the Strand to his Bookseller, with the fa- mous manuscript in which he had annihilated matter, in his pocket, he ran against a post, in the dark ; . and our philoso- pher broke his shins. This accident might have convinced any one but a Theorist ; of all whom it may be said, "Non persuadebis, etiamsi persuaseris." They love their theory, which is private properly, better than truth, which is common stock. f It is a well-known saying of Hume, "One Ghost would convince me more than fifty iolios." I am inclined to think otherwise. He that believed not Moses, nor a greater than Moses, would not have been convinced, though one had risen from the dead. What Cicero s.ud of other Sceptics may be applied to Hume, "Hie si sibi ipseconsentiat, et non interdum natura: bonitate vincatur, neque amicitiam co'.ere () ote>t, nee justitiam, nee liberalitatem," In Hume the "jNatura? boni-. T 146 HYPOCRISY. But tears, alas! much wore than smiles prevail, Where less is found to laugh at, than bewail ; One universal mourning Europe wears, And every wind wafts news to swell her tears ; Her vineyards languish, and unsown remain Her widowed lands, by blood enriched in vain. Offences needs must come, but thou beware, By whose ambition these offences are. Christian ! in patience keep thy soul, mid all The miseries that fill this earthly ball ! Each doubt and mystery with master-key, Thou canst unlock — Man's immortality! Yet marvel thou ! that scorners scorn advice, With Death so near, and deem nought strange, but vice. The Man contemns the Boy, the Sage the Man ! The Christian all — he dares alike to scan, While Seraph pity quells his holy rage, The toys o/ childhood, and the toils of age ; Sees children string their sea-shells on the shore, Or Madmen add to conquered kingdoms * more. They're empty all, and vain, sage Solomon Grown old, exclaimed, of pleasures past, andgone; tas" overcame the bad tendencies of his creed ; if that could be called a creed which ended with the two first words. * Ex. gr. Spain ; in liis foul attempt to conquer which kingdom, Buonaparte has announced to the world in general, and to his unfortunate subjects in particular, that his ambition is as blind and inconsiderate, as it is insatiable and unrelenting. HYPOCRISY. 147 But, wiser far, is he, who can descry In present joys, the same Inanity. Ah think not Hypocrites ! that none remain Who stamp the World,* and all its bawbles, vain ; Who nothing more contemptible, and low, Except those arts by which ye gain them, — know, But all, who value at so mean a rate These Idols of your heart, ye deeply hate ! ■(• Ye know that Diamonds dim the spurious stone, And curse all merits that eclipse your own ; Wisely, on Fools and Dunces, are ye mute, As Wasps feed only on the finest fruit ; Vile as ye are, your tongue's J your vilest part, Save the black fountain of its gall, your heart. * As by the attraction of gravitation, all material things on earth, have a tendency to descend to one common centre, which is below ; may we not in some sense suppose the God- head to be that common centre above, to which all spiritual things ought to aspire. f If Aristotle be right, in pronouncing that friendship chiefly consists in loving, and in hating the same things ; and if the observation of Sallust be just, that "Idem velle, atque idem nolle, eu demum firma a.n'tcitia est," then will it follow by parity of reasoning that we must dislike those, who highly esteem those things, which we thoroughly despise, and who thoroughly despise, what we highly csieem % X " Lingua mali pars pessima." 148 HYPOCRISY. To wound the Best ye run with envious haste, * Swear Brutus was not brave, Lucretia chaste; Nor Cimon true, nor Aristides just, Nor holy Socrates unstained with lust ; Oh had he seen Judea's rising Sun, Then had he owned his life and death outshone, f Yet he 'tis thought, from Wisdom's Height, foresaw, And hailed the twilight of a. purer Law! On Pisgah's Summit thus did Moses stand, And viewed, but entered not, the Promised Land. To be reviled, was not the doom alone Of all that in old Rome or Athens shone; Of this be sure, wherever Lights abound, There Hypocrites to cloud them, will be found. Nor sleeping guards, nor dogs that never bark, More dear to thieves, than to the Knave, the Dark. " curramus praecipites, et Dum jacet in ripa calcemus." •j* Rousseau concludes a very brilliant piece of declamation, wherein he draws a comparison between Socrates and our Sa- viour, with the following sentence. "The death of Socrates was the death of a Philosopher ; but the death of Jesus was the death of a God." With stronger passions than Rousseau, Socrates did not pervert his resistless eloquence, to justify the gratification of them. But he called in the aid of as powerful a reason as mere mortal ever possessed, to overcome tendencies almost as powerful, to depravity. This ancient Philosopher could build his unostentatious humility even on the founda- tion of his virtues; while our modern one, attempted to rear a HYPOCRISY. 149 With feigned Conviction, such, and look demure, Think WicklinVs zeal, nor Luther's motives pure ; Nor Butler * Orthodox, nor Law sincere, Nor Skelton f great with forty pounds a year; showy fabric of pride and exultation, with the base materials which he collected from his vices. In as much as the soul is of more value than the body, Quackery in Philosophy, is more hurtful than Quackery in Medicine. Rousseau was a Char- latan, whose business it was to be noticed. No sooner, there- fore, hid he mounted the stage than he found that antithesis, paradox, and declamation, would suit his purposes much better than the severity of truth, or the sobriety of argument. " Si Populus vult decipi, decipiatur," seems to have been his motto through life ; and the members of the National Institu- tion would do well to inscribe this epitaph on his tombstone, "In nullum Reipubliccc usum,ambitiosasane inclaruit loquela." * Butler, the great author of the Analogy, seems to have possessed the " subtile acumen Ingenii, in imam penetrans ve- ritatem." He saw truth, as Patercul us informs us Cicero saw the Catalinarian Conspiracy— "Animovidit,Ingenio complexus est ;" and if we could add eloquentia illuminavit, we might then safely pronounce the Analogy to be one of the greatest efforts of the human mind. t Philip Skelton, Author of Deism revealed, some excel- lent sermons, and sundry valuable Tracts. He was many years Curate of Monaghan in Ireland. He did as much good with an Income of forty Pounds a year, as some do, with as many thousands. In a time of scarcity, he sold his library to feed the poor. The Bishop of Clogher gave him two livings. Preferment so besto-ved reflects the highest credit on the giver. By the advancement of such men, the true interests of the church are best served, and their Promoters best honoured. 150 HYPOCRISY. Nor Paley honest, nor Erasmus sound, Nor Jortin * learned, nor Hooker's self profound ; In Wilson's life their envy spied a blot, Though the recording Angel saw no spot. Their Voice, that bolt of heaven, pierced Papal Rome, Braved her anathemas, dispelled her gloom, Struck the pale Conclave mute ! and shook proud, Leo's -\ Dome ! The giant Sceptic's contradictions wild Of Fate and Chance, Errors on Errors piled, * It would }nve been quite as creditable to Bishop Hurd, and Bishop Warburion, if their correspondence had abounded less w ith flatteries of ejch other, and abuse of poor Jortin. These Divines were on much better terras with themselves than with any other persons. The adulatory dose, regularly con- veyed to each other by return of post, might perhaps have been what the Chymists call, an elegant preparation. But dancing is not the only thing which maybe done " elegantius quam Honestis decorum." Their bandying of compliments I can compare to nothing better than to the congratulatory bows and grimaces of the First and Second Fiddler at the Opera, after having tickled the ears of their audience with a piece of music, whose principal merit, like the Divine Legation, con- sisted in the tlifjiculty of its execution, and the novelty of its conception. If the whole of the Epistles of St. Paul, would furnish only on-i sentence of such flummery as may be found in every page of this Episcopal Correspondence, I should trem- ble for Christianity. f St. Peter's, the Building of which was principally defray- ed by the Sale of Indulgences. HYPOCRISY. 151 They next o'erthrevv; seraphic Symphonies Now chaunt their bright, yet bloodless Victories ; Triumphs of Truth, in Book of Life engraved, Not by the slain made glorious, but the saved! Now look, where circling the Redeemer's Throne, By crowns ofgold,and snow-white Vestments known, Tried and approved, that Host, the Martyrs stand !* Shrink from their glance, ye Hypocritic Band f * "Qui stantes ardent /" f 1 am thoroughly convinced that most Persecutors are Hypocrites. There may be an example or two to the contrary ; but they only serve to strengthen the general rule. If we «losely examine the character of these advocates for fire, and faggot, and read the lives of the Inquisitors, we shall find that sensuality, pride, ambiiion, avarice, and malevolence, single or united, have been the fuel that heated the furnace of their pre- tended zeal. A zeal so blind, and indiscriminating, as not to perceive the madness of burning the body, for the good of the soul. I am willing to admit that John Calvin m ght have been sincere, in the motives that induced him to roust his friend Scr- vetus, at Geneva ; and as wiling to hope that his icarmest ad- mirers do no. defend that part of his conduct. A Persecu- ting Spirit, is the foulest blot, even in the brghtest mind. It argues so gross an ignorance of the cau^e it pretends to de- fend, that it is extremely difficult to reconcile it, with a sound head, or a good heart. Therefore I would lay this down as a generil axiom ; that we are warranted to pronounce, all Perse- cutors, the Joulest Hypocrites ; unless the? can weigh down the charge by producing in every other part of their conduct, the most satisfactory and unimpea hable integrity ; and un- less they can she * us a life deeply devoted to the interests of a 152 HYPOCRISY. But time would fail to tell th' illustrious names, Ye starved, immured, or led to feed the flames. A crown of Thorns their dignity below, Like Him, their Lord, preeminent in woe. Did Persecution's storm their path pursue, That brought their haven nearer to their view, And as the Sun of human hope went down, Then faith more clearly shewed her heavenly crown ; Through the dark prospect brighter beamed the prize, As night, that hides the Earth, * reveals the Skies. Nor Java's -\ soil, nor Earth, nor Hell, a tree Sustain of deadlier growth than Bigotry ; Malice the Stem, Hypocrisy the Root, And Persecution is the bitter fruit. Hail Christian Scaevola ! J I see thee stand, And burn its error from thy shrivelled hand ; Could nought but lire expunge that single stain AVhose keen remembrance blunts all other pain ? future world, and as clearly detached from the pleasures, pur- suits, and emoluments of the present, * See Eclectic Review, Life of Tasso. t The climate of this Island is particularly unwholesome ; but the poisonous tree called the Yupas, supposed to giow in the centre of the Island, is fabulous. X After a confinement of three years in a loathsome prison, the victim of such wretches as Bonner and Thirlby, it was HYPOCRISY. 153 Great Priest, and Victim, to thyself severe, I mourn thy pangs, and e'en thy fault revere ! I see the living incense pierce the Skies, The Altar Truth, and thou the Sacrifice ! While earth-born Daemons, reck not in that fire ! They light a taper, that shall ne'er expire ; Noras they watch thine agonizing frame ; Mark they the Saint, ascending through the flame. Thus, unperceived, save by inspired eyes, On fiery Car Elijah sought the Skies. not to be wondered at if human nature was overcome. It was under such circumstances, that Crannaer was induced to sign the instrument of his abjuration. When dragged Lo the stake at Oxford, he first held his right hand in the flames, exclaiming, "this unworthy hand" He was a man of so generous, and forgi- ving a disposition, that it was a common saying, "Do my Lord of Canterbury an ill turn, and he will be your friend forever." Scicvola having foiled in an attempt to assassinate Porsenna, Kingof Etruria, burnt off his right hand, to show the King what Romans could undergo, "Et facere, et piti Romannm est." The Pdgan burnt a hand that had failed to commit a murder; the Christian did the same, because that "unworthy hand" had been guilty only of a weakness. Scsevola could endure the pain, while he was breathing defiance against an open Enemy, whom his perfidy had devoted to death. Cranmer could endure the same, while praying for the t'orgiveness of those wretches from whom he had experienced no mercy; whom he also knew to be the foulest enenves of that cause for which he died, no less than of that Master whom he had served on Earth, and whom he was about to join in Heaven. V 154 HYPOCRISY. In Panoply * of proof celestial dight, And armed for deeds of more than mortal might, See Luther singly brave the Papal Ban, The Bulls, and Thunders of the Vatican ; Steeled for the times, pursue his firm career, Nor Earth, nor Hell, j" can pale Him with a fear. See Him, o'er embers of the Martyred Dead, Mid fires by living malice lighted, tread ! While slander J blows the flames, with fiendlike breath, And power that ne'er owned mercy, threatens death. Like Him, who treads the Lava's treacherous soil, Where Whirlpools red, in sulphurous eddies boil ; Whose molten roof conceals a fiery tomb, Or shows through hideous rents, § a pitchy womb. While baneful fumes through steaming chinks ascend, Spread fate above, and Hell beneath portend. Yet some, whose warm and manly hearts beat high, Stood forth his Friends || with generous sympathy, * u T*j» ait anu^if Hottoirhta*.' •f Notwithstanding the fate of Huss, Luther said he would go to Worms, though there were as many Devils there, as tiles upon the Houses. + One of the ridiculous calumnies of that day, was that Luther was begotten by an Incubus. § Avaffriyvi pmcr ix 6a9pa y%?> u'Jtx Tt yt^a/AEva TafTapa. j || Melancthon, the Elector of Saxony, and others. I wish we could add Erasmus to ihe list; he certainly wished him success, but dared not openly avow his wishes. HYPOCRISY. 155 From caution cold, and selfish fears exempt, These hailed his holy rage, and high attempt ; Through threatening flames he caught the cheer- ing sound, Truth is the prize, they cry, maintain thy ground, And matchless as the cause, the Champion shall be found ! And are there some who still prefer the night, Of Papal error, to the gospel's light I Strange that such things should be,and stranger still, That murder should the law of love fulfil , Fell Bigotry, in meek Religiou's breast Nourished awhile, an Infant, and caressed, To Manhood grown, this Monster, carnage-fed, Turns his poor Mother out, to seek her bread. See him, her handmaid, Charity expel, Invite the Furies in her house to dwell, Retain the Serpent, but dismiss the Dove, And bind in chains of torment, not of love ; Plant Persecution Guard, where Mercy stood, Spurn at his Mother's Milk, and thirst for blood! Thus, by the pitying Goat, * the Wolf was reared, Suckled and soothed, by warmth maternal cheered ! Pleased yet amazed, she sees his glistening eyes, Dart fire, and feels his budding teeth arise ; * In the greek Epigram, which re< ords this fable the the Goat is m;ideto moralize, and to blame the Shepherd. 156 HYPOCRISY. Fondles the fangs by which she soon shall bleed, And her milk nurtures him, her heart shall feed. Thrice hail, ye faithful Shepherds of the Fold, By tortures unsubdued, unbribed by gold ; In your high scorn of Honours, honoured most, Ye chose the Martyr's, not the Prelate's Post; Firmly the thorny path of suffering trod, And counted death "all gain," to live with God ! But are none left ; and must th' insatiate tomb Inclose all merit in her silent Womb ? Perish the thought, some labourers in the field Of living worth might no mean harvest yield ; Yea, have we some for good of others born, That might the Gospels purest age adorn ; These Baal scorn, nor is the Church bereft Of all, the Lord hath still some Prophets * left. Around his Altar high, prepared to stand, Should Atheists spoils or Bigots light the land. Tremble each hollow Hypocrite, and fly The thunder of their voice, and lightning of their eye. But sweeter far than tinkling tongue of Bard, Approving Conscience is their high reward; * "Non divitiis cum divite, ivque factione cum f ctioso, sed cum stienuo vrrtute, cum modesto pudore, turn innocente abstinentia certab.nt ; ita, quo minus gluriam uetebaut, eo magis ads.quebantur." HYPOCRISY 157 That voice of God within them, far outweighs The loudest blast of fickle mortal's praise ; Yet, such there are, and some who condescend To style me, though I praise them not, their friend. Who with such men could live, yet not improve, Might unperfumed walk through the Citron Grove ; They shed like Carmel's Cedars fragrance forth, To Heaven aspire, adorn and hallow Earth. But worth, or ere life's arduous race be run, We may not praise, nor till the setting Sun Was Sacrifice to Antient Heroes * done ! Then let Knaves \ win the World their only care. By ostentatious alms, and puhlic J prayer ; By prayer ', § Priscillian could his lust refresh, And make the spirit pander to the flesh ; * A beautiful allusion to this custom of the antients is made by Jortin, to the late amiable and leamtd Bishop Home. t Knaves of this description may be compared to Almanack makers, who by telling lies to the credulous and igno ant, concerning other worlds, contrive to get their livelihood in this* % I alwa}s suspect those who make such a pa a !e of their Religion, with their lips, but who sh^w us little in their lives. He whose whole fortune consists of a few guine;s, will try to gain credit for more, by const mtl shaking them n his purse. A man who brings a few mackarel to town, mak-s a much greater noise about it, than he who lodges a thousand pounds in the Bank. § For the character of this Spanish Fl^resiarc'i se^ Su'picius Severus. Hs doctrine to h ; s fo lowers was, that when the spi- rit which comes from Cod was perfectly united to them by a 158 HYPOCRISY. By ostentatious alms, * detected Dodd f Once hoped to forge a pasport to — his J God ! certain form of Prayer, which he taught them, they might then lawfully give a full scope to the lusts of the flesh. He con- fessed on his trial, "Obscenis se studuisse doctrinis, noctur- nos etiam turpiumfaeminarum egisse conventus, nudumque so- litum orare I" * It is easy to be generous with other people's money. King James on hearing a man, who was a great Niggard, preach- ing a Charity Sermon, made this Royal Pun, "Qui suadet, sua det." t Dodd's attempt to bribe the Chancellor with ,£3000 for Ins nomination to the Rectory of St. George's, Hanover Square, is well known. This drove him to Geneva, where he met his Pupil the Earl of Chesterfield. One circumstance attached to his forgery on the Earl for £4,200 is not generally known. Notwithstanding the previous execution of the Per- rotts, it is probable that his Majesty would have listened to the powerful solicitations that were made in favour of Dodd. But what I am about to relate, I have reason to think true, and it is thought produced in the Royal breast an inflexible determi- nation not to exercise the Prerogative. The Earl had advan- ced very considerable sums of money, from time to time, to Dodd, for the sole use and benefit of an unfortunate young woman, the object of his Lordship's youthful Gallantry. An Interview between the Principals, was effectually prevented by the Almoner for a great length of time. At last it took place accidentally. It then came out, that she had been kept by Dodd, in a state approaching to starvation, while he had ap- plied the money to such ostentatious largesses, as were better suited to his ambitious and worldly views and designs. The King, I have heard, was not ignorant of this. X By which I mean the world. On the strength of a few HYPOCRISY. 159 In genuine worth who dare not hope t' excel, Her semblance chuse, it serves their turn as well ; True Virtue's proud, they say, and hard to win* To court what looks so like her, can n't be sin; flowery harangues, and frothy declamations from the Pulpit, this man contrived to get the reputation of being a Scholar. "I know nothing against Mr. such an one, said Paley, ''except that he is a Popular Preacher." It is amazing how small ta- lents are necessary to obtain celebrity in this department; and to act the Hypocrite with success, in learning, as well as in Religion. These men dash on, through thick and thin; they find the frons aheneus quite as useful as the mttrus; and —"take possession of a subject, as a Highwayman does of a Purse, without knowing its contents, or caring to whom it be- longs." I have seen numberless instances wherein men pos- sessed of this specious address, and conversant with the world, will increase their literary fame, even by the well-timed, and ingenious manner in which they will hide their Ignorance, Whereas on the other hand, the cloistered Pedant shall often excite no other sensation than contempt, by his aukward man- ner of displaying his erudition. The late Dr. Smith, Master of Pembroke College, Oxford, with a knowledge of Books by no means superficial, united a thorough knowledge of the World, and of those wholivtd in it. Of course, he was an excellent Companion, and occasionally of the order of liquids, \alher than •f mutes. But as he was never guilty of excess, habitually tem- perate, and gifted with wit, no man could extricate himself from any little conversational dilemma with a better grace. Before a large pany at his own house, the Doctor was ex- patiating on the proceedings of the Council of Trent, (in which Council, by the bye, as in the Books of Thucydides, more was said than done.) The Doctor descanted much on the gre it 160 HYPOCRISY. Thus, when the sensual Suitor-Band were seen To sculk confounded, from Ulysses' Queen, They wooed her Maids, * who with the Royal Bride In all things, but in sterling Honour vied. On foot, or in emblazoned Chariot drawn, In homespun Woollen clothed, or courtly Lawn, Layman, or Priest, I hail an Honest Man, Nor stay to ask his politics, or clan. length of time that Council s*t ; when a Lady suddenly stop- ped his career, l.y this unexpected question. — "And pray Doc- tor,how long did the Council of Trtnt sit ?" Ignorance here was aukward; a reply at a venture hazardous; silence insupportable* Fortunately for the Doctor, the candles wanted snuffing ! But a Woman's cuiiosity was not to be put ofl'by the snuffing of a candle. She returned again to the charge, with the same distressing interrogation — "But pray Doctor, how long did the Council of Trent sit ?" All turned their eyes upon our Divine ; "attention held them mute."— "Sit Madam ? They sat (ill their bottoms were sore/ * Even Penelope has not escaped the breath of Slander. Lycophron termed her Buao-ctfct Kao-crwpvaa-a, and that Scaven- ger Scoppa, has raked up all the tilth he could find against her. The twelve maids of Honour, debauched by the Suitors, Ulysses condemned to die by the sword; but Telemachus thought they deserved a more ignominious fate. "T«i>» Suhxx •jta.ca.i umihws tTrt&jj-a?, A French Author has remarked, that it is curious that Homer should have handed down Penelope to posterity as a pattern of Chastity, who was a woman of dissolute life; and that Virgil should have represented Dido, as an lmpure t who was a Wo- HYPOCRISY. 161 Truth owns no paity, and her friends may pine, Not e'en on barren praise * allowed to dine; Her lamp, when darkness thickens, Worldlings use. But oil to feed the precious flame -J- refuse. man of Chastity and Honour. I believe the position concern- ing Dido to be true. But even Lucretia has her calumniators. St. Augustin seems to think that her self-murder cannot be extenuated, without aggravaiingthe adultery; nor theadultery extenuated, without aggravating the murder. "Si adulterata, cur laudata; si pudica, cur oc< isa ?" This casuistry of St. Augustin gave rise to an Epigram which ends thus, "Frustra igitur laudem captas Lucetia, naraque Velfuriosa ruis, vel sceleri-ta cadis." But such reasoners forget that Lucretia uas the choke flower of Antiquity; doomed to adorn the soil of rising Home ; and fostered amidst her early sons, those high-souled, and stern admirers of unsullied purity. Therefore to try Lucretia by the severe standard of the Gospel, is to pass upon her the harsh stntence of an "ex post facto" Law. * A man who speaks the truth must not expect to please any party. Truth is always painted naked ; hy this I presume we are to understand, that those who court her must love her fur herself alone. She is indeed an indotala Virgo, and her dowry will be found as scanty as her wardrobe. To suit her present reduced circumstances, the adage must be altered, "Probitas culpatur et alget." f Anaxagoras, finding himself dest-rted in his old age, muffled himself up in his cloak, an i threw himself on ins Pal- let, having made a resolution to die of hunger. Pericles called on him, with an intention to relieve him. The dying Philo- sopher, raising himself up in his bed, pathetically xclaimed, "Ah Pericles, those who use a lamp, should lake care to i'vad it with oil." X 16-2 HYPOCRISY. He sows the seeds of hate, and harvests shame, Who boldly writes, and bolder signs his name; E'en though the "faultless monster" while he sung, Grasped Dryden's strength, Pope's grace, and wit of Young; Though even disappointed Authors praise, And jealous Coxcombs tolerate the lays. Write but the truth, a Valla * shall be found To blot thy merits, and thy faults to sound ; * Lawrence Valla, born at Rome in the fifteenth Century ; the Prince of Critics. He spared none, ancient or modern. He furiously attacked the barbarisms of the Latin then in vogue, but when he came to write himself, his style fell very short of his rules. He was a free-thinker, as well as a free-wri- ter ; and did not stick even at blasphemies. This impious boast once escaped him, horresco referens, "that he had arrows in his quiver even against the Messiah himself!" "Jgne carere putas armamentaria cceli ?*' A Latin Epitaph was written on him, beginning in this manner, "Nunc post quam manes defunctus Valla petivit, Non andet Pluto verba latina loqui." Since Valla's dead, and into Hell conveyed, To cpeak in Latin Pluto is afraid. Another Epitaph on Valla runs thus, "Ohe ut Valla silet, sol it us qui parcere nilli est, Si quaeris quid agat, nunc quoque mordet humiun" Tho' Valla, who used none to spare, Mute in his grave is found, If you should ask what he does there, E 'en now he bites the ground. HYPOCRISY. 163 Though thy bold hand, t* illume the glowing theme Snatch from the Sun thy pen — a burning beam ! To stamp in clearest characters of light, On each Impostor's forehead, — Hypocrite. Who wish to rise, must blazon forth with zeal Their Patron's talents, and their own conceal ; Think what ye write, and swim, who fear to sink, With gallant Wakefield, * writing what ye think ; He struck not, though his keel had crushed the ground, And fought his swivels, though his decks were drowned. Vain Popularity, -j* such minds contemn, Nor follow it but make it follow them. * This honest and intrepid man, when called up to receive judgment, in an action filed by the Attorney General for a libel, made a much more spirited speech than that which he h.d previously delivered, when on his defence. "Non vultus instantis tyran:ii meme quatit solida." t ''Popularity, ray dear friend," says Sir Robert Wal pole, iu a confidential letter, "is nothing more than the step-ladder for imbuion, to ie ch the summit of place and preferment. We have ail our prices, and if it be asked why I continued so long in opposi ion to me Court, my answer is, because the// did not eime up to mine. There is scarcely a Member whose price 1 do 01 k 10*, to a -ingle sixpence; and whose very soul I could not .ilrao->t purchase m the first offer. A staunch Opposi- t a io tiie court, o i two or Uiee questions, right or wrong, gets n as iiriug C m >oner a nan ; half a dozn impudent uuuieaaiug spe^aes, tae aaunrauon ; aud a treasonable pa n- 164 HYPOCRISY. To feme, they sternly say, "get thee behind," Thou empty thing, more fickle than the wind. The Sun unnoticed pours a flood of light, Unheeded climbs his proud meridian height ; But if eclipsed, each Philosophic ass Is peeping at Him through his smoaky glass. Thus, when misfortunes cloud them, envy finds And magnifies each fault, in noble minds ; But dreading blindness, this foul bird of night Scarce blinks on genius, shining in its might ! Hfence it oft happens, that the changeful breath That cursed the Patriot's * life, laments his death; phlet the very souls of the people. Patriotic barbers toast him in alehouses ; public spirited shoe-makers harangue for him iu the streets ; and free born chairmen and house-breakers sing forth h;s praises in erery night-cellar within the bills of morta- lity. I remember I never thought my point completely car- ried, till they clapped me into the Tower. I looked upon myself then a made man ; and the event fully justified my expecta- tions. " This is an extract from a very long letter, addressed by Sir Robert to his friend Robert Coade Esq. of Lyme Regis. 1 recommend an attentive perusal of the whole of it, to a certain Baronet. * It is evident that the true Patriot is here intended ; not the designing Demagogue, the Idol of a Rabble, as violent as the mob he governs, but never so sincere. The opinions of an ob- scure individual, like myself, can be of little consequence to the world ; but, to prevent misrepresentation, I shall take this opportunity of saying, that I am no friend to that short-lived freed i in, which Mobs or Demagogues might wish to force upon us. The Tyranny of the Ciesara was to be preferred to HYPOCRISY. 165 And the same hands that on his ruin bent Pulled down his house, erect his monument ! the bloody anarchy of the Praetorian Band ; and the despotism of a grand Seignior, to the mad supremacy of the Janissaries. The political, and constitutional principles so eloquently sup- ported by the Earl of Chatham, in the House of Lords, and Mr. Fox intheHouseof Commons; principles which the Son of the former, deserted, after they had served his ambitious de- signs— These are my Principles. I assent most cordially, to the superiority of the British over every other form of Govern- ment, antient, or modern. And I look to the freedom of the Press, and triennial Representation, as the only means by which the Augiean stable of corruption can be cleansed ; and as the two powerful levers by which the Theory and Practice of the British Constitution, can be brought nearer to each other, and made to coalesce. By a most unaccountable infatuation, it has happened, that many have been set down for enemies to the constitution, merely from their marked disapprobation of the measures of Mr. Pitt. Absurd, and lamentable conclusion ! May the number of such enemies daily and hourly increase; At the head of the list we proudly place the names of Wake- field, Paley, Fox, and Holland ! Mr. Pitt might be the na- tural Son of Lord Chatham ; his Political Son, was Mr. Fux. Mr. Fox was also that great Man's Heir, in a much higher sense than Mr. Pitt could be said to be. To Mr. Pitt, he left only a part of his properly ; to Mr. Fox, he bequeathed the wkoleofhis Principles ! But the fame of Mr. Pitt already be- gins to show symptoms of a decline, lingering indeed, but fatal. The funeral of his fame will be most respectfully attended, no doubt, by unpaid Pensioners, disgorged Contractors, and extrw ded Placemen ; Septennial Representation, and Bribery on the one hand ; and Bankruptcy and Paper Credit on the other, will be the .supporters of the Pall; — but Truth, Common Sense 166 HYPOCRISY. Grand in their object, gifted with an eye To pierce the womb of dark futurity, and Integrity, will not be found among the Mourners. Those who will attend the funeral of this great man's fime with the most unfeigned sorrow, will be those who will most sensibly feel the Pathos of the following Epitaph on the Cardinal de Riche- lieu ; inscribed by the pen of Benserade. "Here lies, ay, here doth lie, ntorbleu ! The Cardinal de Richelieu, And what is worse, my Pension loo* To the Oratorical Talents of Mr. Pitt, I subscribe with full reverence, and while ld«spise his lust of Po.ver, I admire his contempt ©f wealth. "Splendide Pauper." Victorious in the Senate, and as constantly humbled in the Field, he displayed a fortitude which could bear, rather than a prudence which could prevent calamities. He had a more arduous task to perform than King William the third ; but a generous nation had put him in uncontrolled possession of resources far more ample, to perform it. How he employed them, let impartial History de- cidp. Hid he acted with the cautious prudence that distin- guished the councils, and influenced the measures, of that Great Statesman, Prince, and Warrior ; had he, like William, waited till the Continent felt her ott'« strength ; and only as- sisted her, when she clearly possessed the power, no less than the»i// to check the gigantic strides, and ambitious views of the common Tyrant; — The liberties of Europe, might then kave been to this moment, preserved. We should not then have hud to lament, that the Continent had been precipitated into crude and immature confederacies, which contained within themselves the seeds of their own destruction ; having no firm and lasting band of union ; no common cause to warm and animate them, no common interests to defend. Confederacies, which have been successively rumed iu detail', because, jea- HYPOCRISY. 167 The truly great, eccentric in their course, Bold * in their plans, and boundless in resource, lousy of each others power was suffered to swallow up (very- nobler feeling; because the general good, was repeatedly sa- crificed to individual aggrandizement ; and because plunder not principle, was the mouldering cement by which they were connected. That the British Constitution may survive the wreck of the rest of Europe, is a wish in which our very Ene- mies, if they were not as blind as they are malevolent, ought cordially to join. It is perhaps the only constitution left in Europe, under which Freemen would wish to live ; assuredly the only one for which they would care to die. "Esto Perpe- tua." Its overthrow, would be the most dreadful thing that could happen to mankind ; an event which civilized Society ia every quarter of the Universe ought to deprecate; an event, the very anticipation of which, if there were any cause for en- tertaining it, ought to fill every thinking mind with the most gloomy forebodings. But we hope better things. The age ©f Chivalry indeed, is past, but not the age of Valour. There are still many left amongst us, fully equ-d to the defence of Nations ; in whose breasts the flame of pure and ancient patri- otism, burns with undiminished lustre. "Meliore luto fin^it pvaecoidia." Rather than survive the ruin of their country, or bow their head to the Sceptre of the Corsican Adventurer, they would each exclaim, "Me m'ihi, ante alios, fortunatusque laborum, Egregiusque animi, qui ne quid tale videret, Procubuit Moriens, etHumum semelore momordit." * If secrecy be the soul of all great designs, courage is the body. "'It is necessary I should goon such an expedition," saidPompey, "but it is not necessary that I should live." AndCsesar reproved the fear* of the t>erubliug boat-mau, in the midst of the tem- uest by reminding him, that he carried Ccesar and all his for' 168 HYPOCRISY. Of self regardless, scorn and peril brave, Infatuate States, * against their tcill, to save ; tunes. Popilius was sent to Antiochus, with dispatches from the Roman Senate. Antiochus was in the midst of a career of splendid victories. "I will consider," said he, "of your letter." Popilius drew a circle round him with his stick. "I will have an answer," said he, "before thou quittest that Circle." The answer was short, but it restored a Kingdom ! "With three Words Severus crushed a most alarming mutiny of the Praeto- rian Band, even when their brandished weapons menaced his life. "Citizens lay down your arms." He was obeyed. In fact, without a proper degree of confidence, we can succeed in nothing. Without confidence, the Pilot at the Helm of the State, or at the Helm ot the Vessel, w< uld be alike unable to weather the Storm. Confidence is as necessary to him who balances an Empire, as to h'm who balances a pole ; to the Ceneral of an Army, or to him who walks the dizzy height of Power ; as to the leader of the Band at the Opera, or the Rcpe Dancer at the Circus. In all these instances, the effects pro- duced by a want of confidence, wuuld Le the same ; they would differ only in the importance of their consequences. In the ruin of the former, the fate of Nations and Empires would be involved; and Poets and Historians would be busily em- ployed to "point the moral, or adorn the tale." But should the latter miscarn, the Fiddler only breaks his Fiddle, or the Funambulist his neck ; and the utmost posthumous fame he can aspire to, will be some ;uch an Epitaph as that which immor- talizes the Conductor of the fire-works at Vauxhall ; "Here lies I, Killed by a Sky— Rocket in my Eye !" * States often foster in their bosom some "gratissimvs Er- ror-" some darling, but destructive delubion, which eveutual- HYPOCRISY. 169 Their very faults, that move our vulgar spleen, Are by their shining virtu.es/arther seen ! ly turns out a Serpent, that stings them to death. To see the lurking evil inembrjo, requires the keenest discernment ; to prevent its consequences, the nicest caution ; and to extermi- nate it altogether, the most determined fortitude. Woe be to that Patriot, however upright or sincere, who shall rashly at- tempt this task. "Periculosoe plenum opus aleai." To set about to reform a luxurious and corrupt Nation, is to embark on a tempestuous ocean, in which those who are not thoroughly ballasted, both in judgement and experience, are sure to be swallowed up. But to fall from noble darings is the dread pri- vihgeonly of great minds. Sometimes the imaginary fears and groundless terrors of the multitude are to be both combated and despised. True greatness then consists in not shrinking; from the danger of such a task ; it stands as it were in the gap ; and courts rather than avoids the censure. Thus Csesar, snatching the axe from one of his trembling Soldiers, gave the first blow to the consecrated Oaks at Marseilles ; exclaiming, •'Credite me fecisse nefts." Lay the whole blame upon me. At other times an experienced and sagueious mind may avail itself of the ignorance of the Mill'on, to further and promote its beneficial designs. We have a fine instance of this, in the politic use which Columbus made of an Eclipse, whose ap- proach his astronomical sk 11 enabled him to foresee. But such fe ts as these are only to be attempted by men of first-rate powers and endowments. Statesmen whose talents are but a few degrees above mediocrity, are content to connive at evils, they dare not undertake to cure, "Quieta nc movete," is their mean and pusillanimous maxim; and they prefer their owl power and aggrandizement, to the prosperity or amend- ment of the People ; well aware that to rant about reformation Y 170 HYPOCRISY. Like Comets, formed to work extensive good Unthanked, and be as little understood; Like them, of ills they did not cause, accused, And for their very services abused. By Courts and Kings repulsed with cold disdain, Columbus * proffered a new World, — in vain ; is always a safe and excellent Ladder; but to put their boasts in execution, a fatal scaffold. How destructive these favourite evils, alluded to above, have proved, to the Reformer if reme- died, or to the People if not, every page of History can inform us. To cite instances will be superfluous to most of my rea- ders. Otherwise, we might adduce the Gladiatorial shows, the "Sportula, Panem et Circtnses" of antient Rome. Or we might ask, Where are those Herculean talents to be found a- mongst ourselves, equal to the task of cleansing that Augaean Stable, our System of Poor Laws— that foul, and putrifying sink of dependant misery? That the comforts of the Poor might be increased, and the evils of that System diminished, let us hope is not impracticable ; notwithstanding Mr. Pitt shrunk fiom the task. Scotland has no Poor Laws. If she had, ldo not think that the provident industry and honest in- dependent Spirit, even of her Peasantry, would long be proof against their deteriorating influence. * The necessary existence of a Western Hemisphere, was a vast Idea, with which this wonderful man seems to have labour- ed dte, ly and long. ".Estuat infelix angusto in limite mundi." When at length, with all the throes and strivings of Genius, he had brought forth his Plan, a difficulty still remained, to find any one bold enough to adopt the Gigantic offspring. It was an infant of no common growth, of no puny stature ; **J)um lener in C'unis,jam Jove dignus crat." HYPOCRISY. 171 An audience begged, with supplication low, Exhaustless mines ! and Empires to bestow ! Till Ferdinand vouchsafed with cautious fear, A crown, far richer than his own, to wear; Kings alone mustbe the "Nursing Fathers" or it perishes from want ! The trucking and chaffering Spirit evinced by Ferdi- nand, before he yielded his slow consent to the execution of the plan, forms a striking contrast with the boldness of its con- ception. And the cold and calculating avarice of the Monarch is rendered still more contemptible, by the magnanimous and enterprizing temerity of the Subject. It is melancholy to re- flect that this great Man was sent back to Europe in Irons, from that World he had discovered. "Te maris et lerrae numeroque caientis arena? Mensorem ! cohibent /" The Captain of the Vessel felt for the indignity put upon his illustrious Prisoner, and offered to release him from his chains^ but Columbus refused to be liberated, except in the presence of his Sovereign. He ordered that his fetters should be buried with him, in his grave. Columbus has been beautifully compared to the Dove, which was sent from the Ark, and brought back again some tidings of a World, till then hid by the waters. It is far from my in- tention to tarnish the freshness of his bloodless laurels. But it is known that Seneca had made, in the reign of Nero, this for- tunate Conjecture in some lines, where he seems to have beau- tifully fulfilled the double office of the Vates. The passage occurs in the chorus of his Mederum laxet, et ingens Puteat tell us, Tiphysque novos Detegat orbes ; nee sit terris Ultima Tkule." "In some future jg-, the time shall come, when the Ocean ahull loosen the Chains of things ; when an immense Continent and a new World shal appear ; and when Thule shall no lon- ger be the b undary of the Earth." * Socrates. Cicero, Pertinax, the De Witts, Sir Walter flatvlt-igj), Algernon Sidney, may servefor a specimen of those wbu hive been doomed to fee. the fatal ingratitude of their Cqieuij.oianes, and to receive the unavailing praises aud ad- HYPOCRISY. 173 Then purblind mortals mutter— "earth to earth," And as lie moulders, prize a Sidney's worth ! To find his merits, seek death's noisome cell, As Indians search for pearls — the putrid shell/* Few "f may, like Washington, for others live, And blessing share that happiness they give ; To deeds successful, as unstained, aspire, Then to the laurelled shade revered retire ; By Foes respected, and by Friends adored, While sternest Veterans weep — resign the sword. O Thou ! by Nature, J in her happiest mood, Enriched with all that's generous ! great ! and good ! miration of Posterity. "Virtutemincolumem odimus, sublatam ex oculis quserimus invidi." The Converse of this is generally true of Demagogues and Tyrants. They usually contrive to secure to themselves a sufficient store of this world's goods ; and are content to submit to the execrations of all honest Men when dead*, if they can command the flatteries of Slaves when living. * At the Pearl fishery on the Coromandel Coast, the Oys- ters are never examined, or opened while fresh ; but are thrown up in heaps to rot and putrify. In this state they are so'd to the Speculators, and more readily surrender their treasures to the fortunate adventurer. f "Pauci quos iEquus amavit Jupiter, aul ardens evexit ad aethera virtus DiisGmiti potuere." % "Quem tu Dea, tempore in omni, j. Omnibus ornatum voluisti excellere rebus !" 1 74 HYPOCRISY. Whose morn, and noon, and eve, * of life, proclaim One path may lead to Virtue and to Fame ; Whose Valour could a Nation's wrongs redress, Yet rue the dreadful price of just success; Whose heart, by no false blaze of glory t l e( ^ Mourned with the mourner,with the bleeding bled ; Thy purer name, a stain eternal brings On Vulgar Chieftains, raised by Crimes to Kings. Imposing trick, and ostentatious glare, These didst thou scorn, that make the stupid stare ; No trap to catch the mob, the Coxcomb finds In one deemed greatest, — but by greatest J minds. * "Ad imum, Qua'is ab iucepto processerat, et sibi constat." f Jus babet ille sui Palpo ? quem ducit hianteoi Cretata ambitio" "perfusaque gloria fuco." Per si us and Ovid must contribute to tins last line. t The bravest can best appreciate Courage, and the most excellent, Virtue ; as the most eminent Artist discovers beauties in a fine piece of painting, wh ch a common observer would overlook. That is true greatness which is acknowledged by the most Great ; "Vera puta Curius quid sentit, et ambo Scipiadse, quid Fabricius, manesque Camilli !" Of Washington, we may also add, "Itaro hinc talis ad Illos Umbra venit ?" But the nearer we are to perfection the greater the distance appears to be ; and then it is that we most clearly perceive the difficulty of attaining it. A person entirely ignorant of the mathematics, would form a very inadequate notion of the vast HYPOCRISY. 175 Sole Heir of general unrebuked applause, The firmest Champion in the noblest Cause, Defeat thy Spirit tried, but never broke, As the blast strengthens, while it shakes the Oak ! Pillar of State ! and Bulwark of the Field ! An Host thy Presence, and thine Arm a Shield? By head and hand, to save thy Country born, To win an Empire, and a Sceptre scorn; In proffered Dignities declined, more great * Than if ten Kings did at thy Levee wait, and almost supernatural effort of genius displayed by Sir Isaac Newton, in the discovery of Fluxions. A Rustic was asked if he could read Greek, his answer was, he did not know, he- cause he had never tried. I remember once I went to see a Giant ; he was very near eight feet high, well made, healthy and active. I was much surprized on observing that Children were less struck with his appearance, th tn grown Persons. On mentioning this to the Giant, he said he had remarked the same, and he also added, that those who were the tallest, invariably received the greatest gratification on seeing him. The reason of this puzzled me for some time. At last I began to reflect that Children, and Per- sons of short stature, are constantly in the habit of looking' up at otherpeople, and therefore, it costs them no great exertion* to look up a little higher at a Giant ; but tall men, who are in the habit of looking down upon all other persons, are beyond measure astonished, on seeing any one whose very superior stature obliges them to look up. * Some sloop, like Verres, from their high career, and de- scend from their elevation, to pick up the golden apple of fil- thy lucre; 176 HYPOCRISY. In thy last * conquest o'er thy self, renowned Far more than false Napoleon, triple-crowned, f "Declinant cursus, Aurumque volubile tollunt." Others, like Anthony, are unnerved for arduous exploit and manly exertion, by the smiles of beauty, or the allurements of effeminate luxury and pomp, *'Et Venere etCcenis et plumis Sardanapali." And others, like Cicero, deviate from the rugged path of pa- tient, unassuming merit, to catch and forestall the applauses of the Vulgar, *'Queis dulce est digito monstrari, et dicier hie est !'* But Washington cared for none of these things. The ultimate emancipation of his country was an object which he steadily pursued, and at last attained, through means, worthy of the end. His was the choice of Hercules, and he loitered not to pick up the flowers with which a grateful People presented him, even though they strewed them in his path. In the high and magnanimous sacrifice of the love of fame, that "last infirmity of noble minds," there seems to have been a great similarity in the characters of the late General Moore and of Washington. "Illustres anim.e, siquid mea Carolina possint, Nulla dies ambos clare vos eximet aevo !" * In the beginning of his career, he drew the eyes of all mea on himself,by a display of cool eonduct, and fertility of resource, in saving the wreck of Braddock's Army. The meridian of his life, is but the History of the Emancipation of America. But it is the Evening Ray, emitted by this Luminary of the West- ern Hemisphere, (when he retired to Mount Vernon) that both the Philosopher, the Warrior, and the Politician, must con- template with the purest delight, and most unqualified ap- probation. That this Sun of the new World! maybe without a spot, HYPOCRISY. 177 The Wise, the Good, denouncing him abhorred, With Cincinnatus join Mount Vernon's Lord ! But could a selfish race such worth admire, And to the genuine Patriot's fame aspire, Yet what avails it, 'mid the Combat's rage, To whisper 1 Virtue to an Iron * age ? When each revolving year a lecture reads, Unfolds a crimson scroll of bloody deeds ; Mis9 Seward, in her late posthumous edition of Letters, has candidly informed us of a very interesting fact. She narrates, that in consequence of her Monody on the death of Major An- dre, Washington sent his Aid du Camp to her, furnished with documents that completely convinced her, in spite of precon- ceived opinion, and even prejudice to the contrary, that there was not a heart in England that sympathized more deeply in the sentence of Andre, than the heart of Washington, nor a man on Earth, who laboured more earnestly to prevent its execution. We will therefore now sum up his character, in the language of our Iramoital Bard, who alone is worthy to eulogize Wash- ington ; "A Combination, and a Form indeed ! Where every God did seem to set his seal, To give the world assurance of a Man." •j- France, Italy, and Holland. * Caesar, though he destroyed the liberties of his Country, yet disdained to make use of treachery, even to an Enemy. When opposed to Ariovistus, and a tempting opportunity pre- sented itself, yet would he not stoop by such means, to steal, as he said, a Victory. But the shameless abandonment of public Z 17S hypocrht. When every moment teems some monstrous birth, And falling kingdoms shake the solid Earth ; When a Marauder's wild decrees have made Commerce a Crime, and Massacre a Trade ; Whom no compunctious visitings restrain, Or if they plead for mercy, plead in vain ; W ho, to produce conviction, Cannon brings, Those loud resistless arguments of Kings ; * To full dominion stalks through tides of gore, Though mangled j* Europe bleeds at every pore ; Yet can for Rule and Precedent, recall All former Tyrants, and improve on all. Who muchtofriends, and times J and chances § owes. And something to himself, but most to Foes ,• faith, and the gross violation of the Law of Nations, which distinguish modern warfare, might warrant us in applying to the present age, a worse epithet than that of Iron ; "Pcjoraque saeculayi?rri Temporibus ; quorum sceleri noninvenit ipsa, IN omen, et a nullo posuitnatura metall:*' * "Ratio ultima Regum." t "Cum jam semianimem Iaeeraret Flavius orbem." t The Men are more often made by the Times, than the Times by the Men. § A great deal of good fortune goes to the making up of a Hero, a Casar, an Alexander, or a Charlemagne. I do not recollect that Ctesar was ever so much as wounded, in all the variety of dangers to which he f.eely exposed himself ; al- though this "Mighty Hunter" of military renown, on different •ccasions, was actually * to cool him, tempted forth To fight the frost, the Madman* of the North ! Could I the wasted Land a Desart show, In nothing fertile, but in sights of woe ; Point where, behind that veil by Glory spread, Contagion tends the dying, midst the dead, Teach Men the Conqueror's \ blood-stained name to hate, Ere dire experience makes them wise — too late ; * AtPultowa, Charles the twelfth experienced a terrible defeat, and lost the fruit of many splendid Victories. Peter the Great was accustomed to say, " My Brother of Sweden fancies himself an Alexander ; but he shall not find me a Darius. ■f " They err who count it glorious to subdue By Conquest far and wide, to overrun Large Countries, and in Field great battles win, Great Cities by assault; what da these Worthies ? But rob and spoil, burn, slaughter, and inslave Peaceable Nations, neighbouring, or remote, Made captive, yet deserving freedom more Than those their conquerors; who leave behind Nothing but ruin, wheresoe'er they rove, And all the flourishing Works of Peace destroy. Then swell with Pride, and must be titled Gods! Till Conqueror Death discovers them scarce men, Rolling in brutish Vices, and deformed, Violent or shameful Death, their due reward." hypocrisy. 185 That Fame, doomed soon to perish, and to fade, Unwept, 'mid ruins which itself hath made ; Then — might I string the Minstrel's * Harp, to tell The Clash of Arms, the rushing Battle's yell ; * Mr. Scott's Flodden Field is justly considered the best description of a modern battle extant. 1 repeat my convictions that Mr. Scott can write better than he has hitherto done. The danger is, that he will exhaust his muse, before he finds a subject worthy of her. Mr. Scott's popularity bids fair to overwhelm us with an host of imitators. Would modern Poetasters have the resolution to strip each thought as it arises, of every ornament of expression, dress of language, and har- mony of numbers ; if they would muster up courage to ask themselves these formidable questions; Is this idea just, con- vincing, or beautiful ; is it pregnant with meaning, and is it new in its conception, if not in its application ; in short, is it worth while to say it at all ? If the Genus irritabile would de- termine to deal thus plainly with themselves, it is amazing how many good consequences would ensue. We should have very little Poetry, but that little would be good. " Pauca, sed ilia Rosas." Were this plan adopted, all those who sit down suddenly to write, for the worst of all reasons, because they have nothing to do, would as suddenly, for the best of all rea- sons, conclude, because they have nothing to say. The next good consequence would be this, that Criticism would cease, and that Critics would be changed into useful members of So- ciety. For these Gentlemen who give so full an account of all other Persons, but who are neither able, nor willing to give any account of themselves, would then find it necessery to comply with the pressing invitations they would receive to take a salt- water excursion in his Majesty's Navy. They might A a J 86 HYPOCRISY. That Work begun at morn, and closed at eve, Foul work, that years of Peace may not retrieve. What time the stricken Tents, at peep of day Vanish, like snow, before the solar ray, there continue, as at present, to shift with the wirid; nor would their occupation, nor their residence, undergo any very material change, as their hand would still be against every man* and their Head Quarters— The Fleet ! Again — as abortions usually give more pain than vigo- rous and healthy births, so it is extremely possible that some of our modern Rhimers take more pains to write ill, than a Gray or a Shakespeare took to write well. My plan would not only exempt them from these pains, but would snatch them from that purgatory and hell of Authors, Publication, and Criticism. Publication indeed may be compared to Matrimony ; those who think the most lightly of it before-hand, are usually those who have cause to th are enveloped in armour. £ To facilitate the passage of Artillery. § The Tumbrils, 188 HYPOCRISY. What time each Column, at the Rocket's * blaze With rapid wheel the lengthening Line displays ! Now doubt and confidence, and hope and fear, By turns proclaim defeat, or conquest, near, And Fate, 'twixt both suspends her awful screen, And in mysterious grandeur clouds the scene ! Is there, that solemn pause who cannot feel \ O envy not the wretch his heart of steel ; Sure one fond thought of all he left behind, Might, for that moment, melt the sternest mind ! But — Charge ! that fear and doubt-dispelling word, That sound to British Heroes dear, is heard ! Eager, as Coursers from the goal, their Foes They seek, and soon with weapons crossed, they close. Earth feels the sudden shock, while shouts resound, And groans, half heard, in din of battle drowned. Steeds answering Steeds, with smoking breath, from far, Swell the rough concert, and provoke the war. See now the broken line of battle reel, See front to front opposed, and steel to steel ; As when the blast drives Euxine's maddened wave, The Danube's j* strength, by Torrents swollen, to brave ! * In modern war fore I am informed it is usual to come up in columns and at the firing of a Rocket, or some other sig- nal, to deploy or to wheel instantaneously into ffne. t Thisi* far from being an unequal conflict. The Danube HYPOCRISY. 189 Now Discord plays the direful Game of Kings, And roused by Trumpet, flaps her vulture wings ; Here with convulsive grasp, the Youth, * retains Though fallen ! the standard that his life-blood stains, While Veterans mark their favourite's dying groan, And to revenge his wounds, forget their own. There, swift as Hurricanes, with flowing rein, And crimson spur, the Squadrons •]* sweep the plain, Through smouldering clouds they meet, with thun- dering crash, While Sabres dart the lightning's fatal flash! Fierce, plunging into death, the wounded Horse Drags through the routed ranks,the trampled Corse ; is fed by sixty navigable Rivers, and one hundred ond twenty sjnaller streams ; and it discharges itself with such rapidity into the Euxine, that the current of its waters is sensibly observed for several miles. Speaking of the Rhine, and the Danube, Gibbon observes, " The latter of those mighty streams, which rises at the distance of only thirty miles from the former, flows above thirteen hundred miles, for the most part to the South- east, collects the tribute of sixty navigable rivers, and is at length through six mouths received into the Euxine, ivhich ap- pears scarcely equal to such an accession of Waters." * Can it be necessary to mention here the name of Walsh ? ■f Notwithstanding the superior euphony and power of the greek language, yet I have often thought that even Homer, rvhen he has indulged in an attempt to make the sound an echo to the sense, has never surpassed that line of Virgil's *« Quadrupedante putrem sonitu cjuatit UngulaCampum." 190 HYPOCRISY. Crushed 'neath his hoof, both spear and scymitar Bestrew the field with steel, — the wreck of War; With sulph'rous cloud, while Cannon cloke the Sun, In red eclipse, till their fell work be done ; In yawning furrows plough the channePd mead, And sow the ravaged Earth with iron seed ! Seed, that manured with blood, and wet with tears, No- reaper gladdens, and no harvest bears. Now bursting bombs, those winged Volcanoes, rake Th' advancing Phalanx, and its firmness shake; In fiery curve, display from rear to van, The hell-born * ingenuity of man ! Man wise to shorten life, but not prolong, To give it feeble, but to take it strong. And close behind — the Phantom Glory treads, And o'er the fallen her flimsy mantle spreads; Ah! can her tinselled Vestment, wove by Pride, That hideous wreck, her dismal triumph, hide ? * Milton attributes the invention of Gunpowder to the Devils. Have the commentators found no allegory here? When Milton informs us that Sin was born in heaven, we are instructed to admire the address and sagacity of the Poet, who takes this method of reminding us that every Vice is the excess of some Virtue ! But what shall we say of Falshood, Cruelty, Ingratitude, Brutality, Blasphemy, et c?et? These are cer« tainly Vices t but I am at a loss to know of what Virtues they are the excess. HYPOCRISY. 193 Ah ! can her smile, and unavailing praise, Those prostrate forms, her mute adorers raise? Can glory cheer the grave, * or bid one tear Relieve the bursting heart of dumb despair ? Or close his eyes, who left on Battle-plain To linger, envies his Companions slain? Or stay that female Fiend, the night hath sped To pierce the dying, and to spoil the dead ? Thou Sun ! that didst this Morning's pomp survey, The burnished Field, the Battle's proud array. Now view the tragick change, the woeful price Of Glory's sad, and sumptuous sacrifice! Behold, where'er thy blazing eye may ken, An offered host, and hecatombs of men ! Then leave to night and darkness Europe's grave, For happier scenes — beyond the western wave ! * "Nunclevior cippus non imprim't ossa, Landat Posteritas — nunc non e Manibusillis, Nunc non e tutnulo fortunataque favillii Nascuntur Viola? !" An Irishman, on beimj; awked what was meant by Posthumous Works, replied, " Posthumous Works \ take to be the Works a man writes after he is dead." Now if it be true of Fame, that "just what we hear we have;" and this was the observa- tion of no common mind , then it follows that we can give no better account of posthumous fame, than the Irishman gave of posthumous works; namely, that posthumous fame is that fame which a man hears after he is dead J 192 HYPOCRISY. All ! when will Kings, grown honest, cease to dress In gorgeous garb Destruction and Distress? When Subjects, rendered wise, deny to war Its pride, its pomp, its gaze-attracting Car. O in what woe-warned, time-taught, happier age, Shall War be blotted from th' historic page ? When Men, indignant, shall erase from fame The Conqueror's splendid villanies and name ; When sceptered Plunderers shall their Murders met And cease to spoil the many for the few. Ne'er doth Hypocrisy so foul appear, As when she teaches Kings * to feign a fear y * From all the preambles, and perorations to any procla- mation of War, one would be led to suppose that Kings and Emperors were universally the most peace-loving, inoffensive, forgiving, and yet injured and insulted Beings under Heaven, But their neighbours have never so much cause to tremble for their safety, as when Kings announce to them, that their own is in danger. The late Emperor of Russia was mad; but madmen sometimes start a good idea. He proposed a plan for making wars less blood)-, shorter, and ltss frequent. It was simple, and if adopted, would prove efficacious. He re- commended that the Potentates of Europe should meet and set' tie their respective differences by single combat / The most notorious piece of Hypocrisy, " de la Guerre," on record, is to be found in the conduct of the Emperor Charles the Vth, when he sacked Rome, and took the Pope piisoner. This royal Juggler beat his Infallible Antagonist, even at his own weapons; for he pretended to feel most extreme sorrow for the victory ; he forbad the ringing of bells ; he even went int» HYPOCRISY. 1^3 Excuses finds, and prompts their royal Breath To plead with Eloquence, the cause of Death ; Beneath their ermhied velvet hides the Paw, And spring elastic of the Tiger's Claw ; With milk of mercy smoothes each honied word, But in the flesh of thousands sheathes their Sword ! O'er tombs and deserts then let Conquerors reign, And wield a shadowy sceptre o'er the slain ; Their Peace a Solitude ! * where friends nor foes Are left, their crimes to flatter or oppose. mourning, and caused processions to be made in Rome, and prayers to be offered up in all the churches, that it would please the Almighty, in his good time, to permit him to release his Holy Prisoner, But amidst all this outward appearance and show of contrition, he winked at the shocking excesses committed by his army in the Capital of the Pontiff; nor did he release him until he had acceded to his demands ! "Servetur ad Imum." That such a thorough-paced Impos- tor as this should begin by deceiving others, and end by de- ceiving himself, is not to be wondered at ; (he transition is not an uncommon one. The retirement of this Royal Pantimo- roumenos to the Monastery of St. Justus ; his intrusions on the repose of a few poor Monks ; his inflictions of voluntary flagel- lations on himself; and lastly, that climax of his absurdities, the celebration of his own obsequies, before his death, and the solemn rehearsal of his funeral; these were but the natural and consequential parts of such a character ; and surprize me no moie than acts of cruelty and revenge in a Nero ; or of re- signation and forgiveness in a Socrates. * "Ubi Solitudiuem fa.iunt, Paean appellant." B b 194 HYPOCRISY. The Prince who knows and guards a Nation's ri ghts, Who Peace, with all her Sister-Arts, invites, Who deems it, — unseduced by Courtier Knaves, More glorious far to rule the Free, than Slaves, Who strives much less t'increase his wide domain, Than the true good of all his realms contain ; He builds, more firm than brass, or Parian stone, Not o'er our graves, but in our hearts, his throne ! There reigns unarmed, more safe, and more renowned Than Caesar, by twelve Legions compassed round. But soon I close awhile the lengthened strain, Should Varius smile, 1 have not sung in vain ; Long since too large, I ween, if wretched stuff, My Page hatli swollen ; — if not, — 'tis large enough ; Though some small pains it cost, we dare confess It might have been made larger, with much less. * Not like Pelides armed to take the field, A quill thine only spear, a rag "j* thy shield, * Those who dislike a Book for being small, do not reflect, with how much less pains the Author foul 1 have made it larger. Perspicuous brevity in writing evinces as »reat a knowledge of that art, as good foreshortening does of he art of Painting, I by m> means presume to hope that this is an excellence of wri- ting ti) it 1 have attained ; but we m..y be allowed to ad'oire what we cannot reach ; and even to give rules to others, which we cannot exemplify in ourselves. f Wdlpoie cpjotes this line from Fletcher, — the Idea w HYPOCRISY. 195 Go little Book ! — pursue thy vast attempt Through warm resentment, and through cold contempt ; Before tribunals destined to be led, And what is worse, to be condemned, unread; For hope not thou to rout Enchantments, Knights, Dwarfs, Curses, Monsters, Castles, Spectres, Sprites ; , Or please, with modest truth, a sensual herd, T'Anacreon,* or Ambrosio preferred; Or charm those ears, that love the style profane And balderdash, of some French Sceptic's f brain ; quiint. He says of Authors "The Goose lends them a Spear, and every R,g a Shield." * Why do^-s n<>t Mr. Moore write something fit to read ? He has powers. f I have some charity for the Infidelity of a Frenchman, who forms his no'ions of Christianity from the mummery and masquerade of Popery. But that French Sceptics should find disciples in England, is rather extraordinary ; and still more so, that these disciples should plume themselves upon their conversion. But as a little learning makes a man a Sciolist ; so, a smattering in Philosophy makes him an Infidel. Free- thinkers, nine in ten, are not those who think freely, but ra- ther those who are free from thinking. This is a glorious li- berty, truly, to be proud of ; and whcli-is enj wed in common with the brutes. As men of pleasure, by attempting to be more happy than any man can be, become more miserable than most men are ; so Infidels, by affecting to be wise beyond what is permitted to man, are, in fact, more blind and ignorant, than the multitude they despise. To walk in darkness, rather 196 HYPOCRISY. A precious Cargo, smuggled § to our shores With fripperies, fans, pricked Wines, and painted Whores. than in light is the melancholy privilege of which they boast, in the language, but not in the spirit of Euryalus, "Est hie est animus lucis conttmptor.** I shall sum up the character of these men in the words of Jortin, "A total ignorance," says he, "of the learned languages, an acquaintance with modern Books, and tianslations of old ones; some knowledge of mo- dern languages, a smattering in Natural Philosophy, Poetical taste, vivacity of expression, with a large stock of Impiety ; these constitute a Voltaire, or a modern Genius of the first Hank ; fit to be patronized by Priutes, and caressed by No- bles. Whilst learned men have leave to go and chuse on what tree they will please to hang themselves." From all that I have observed in the Officers of the French Army, and my opportunities here have been frequent, I am inclined to think the bulk of them are Deists. But, as I be- fore hinted, there is some excuse to be offered for them. Necessarily, from their active habits as Soldiers, unacquainted with the pages of antiquity, from which they might have learned the inestimable obligations which Society owes to this Religion, and perfect strangers to the purer ages of primitive Chris- tianity ; they come to the examination of it, with minds un- fortunately prejudiced against it, by all they have seen, heard, •and read. From ihiir earliest impressions they are instructed to form their ideas of it, not from the " College of Fishermen.,'''' as Lord Chatham observed, but from the "College of 'Cardinals. 1 * " Es>e aliquos Manes et subterranea regna Nee Pueri credunt." If they entertain any doubts, the volumes of Voltaire or Fred*, ric, or Voluey, are at. hand to dismiss them. But as Professor Powell observed ou another occasion, these are the HYPOCRISY. 197 Nor hope to win those wanton eyes, that burn, Or weep, or languish, o'er insidious Sterne. He knows to loose the fine-spun chains, that tie The hidden soul of sobbing Sympathy ; He can its chords, and secret strings untwist, Serene — 'mid sighs — a whining Apathist ! Well -versed with smooth, yet deep designing art, To trace that labyrinth,— a Woman's heart ; Its close meandring mazes he defies, Secure in silken clue of flimsy flatteries ; Then bribes its virtues to betray their trust, And lights, at Love's pure shrine, the torch of Lust. With tongue to pity tuned, and heart of steel, Too full of sounding sentiment, to feel, He could unmoved a starving Mother * pass, To pour his sorrows o'er a dying Ass ! Go First-born of my Muse, and with thee take The Martyr's Courage, when he meets the stake ; Thee, shall some mumping Critic *f steal— -for pelf, Then strive to make thee hideous, as himself; Authors which I had hoped would be read and admired in this country, when Butler, Leland, Newton, and Paley are for- got ten ! But not till then. § " Advectus Romam quo pruna et coctona veuto." * " I know," says Horace Walpole, " from indubitable au- thority, that Sterne's Mother, who kept a School, having run in debt on account of an extravagant daughter, would have rotted in jail, if the parents of her Scholars had not raised a subscription for her." f If my Readers revert to tome lines in the introductory 198 HYPOCRISY. Shall change thy Voice, thy Tone, and in their stead, Shall make thee talk his gibberish— -for bread; part of the Poem, they will perceive that 1 entertain a high res,>ect for legitimate criticism. I kneel at its tribunal, and se» k no appeal from its decisions. So far from depreciating the art, I wish to see it more honoured than it is. It is a noble and a useful art ; and the Office of the true Critic is an high and important Office. But it so happens, that no two things are more distinct than Criticism, and those Traders who now-a- da\ 8 style themselves Critics; it is certainly possible to cherish a v«-ry profound respect for the former ; and at the same time to think but me inly of the fatter ; just as a man may venerate the laws of his country, without being obliged to transfer that veneration t> every country Petifogger. Neither aie the Re- marks I have made, the ebullitions of private pique, or the effec of ny disappointment in authorship ; as the Critics have never yet had occasion to write a single line for or against me. But of this I am persuaded ; that it is not authors, but critics, who divgrace their own art, by making a Trade of it. Tiiat they lower themselves by becoming the tools of Esta- blishment^ Sects, Parties, and Prejudices, is so notorious, that there is not a Man of them, except those gentle- men who write in Mr. Cumberland's Review, who is not ashamed to put his name to his own performances. For everything anonymous, and foi anonymous Criticism in particular, I ever shall avow the most insuperable contempt. But (say the Critics) Truth is Truth, and not the more or the less f-n, for having a name attached to it ; and if our remarks J»re not founded on Truth, they mu>t fall. Admitted. But unf ; tun a^ely the public are not gi u^rally in possession of the Works >ou criticize; many know of their publication, only through you; and many more are waiting the decision of your impartial tribunal, before they venture to purchase. Now, it HYPOCRISY. 199 Thy piteous cries, thy tortures, tears, and pains, Shall but promote this pilfering- Vagrant's gains; so happens, that no Book is so good, but that some weak a ad defective passages may be found in it; as for instance, Milton's Puns on Gunpowder, in his battle of the A-igels. If the Book is to be cried down, these passages are ol course advanced, enlarged upon, and made the most conspicuous. But tuere is no Book so bad, but that some favourable passage* ma- be found in it ; if the Book is to be extoiled, >h« se are of course adduced as the specimens. Row Critics would be ashamed of this juggling and chicanery, this cup ai-.d ball Criticism, if it were the universal practice to higu their Names. Again — I do affirm that what is said about a Book is not of so much consequence, as by whom it is said. This single cir- cumstance makes all the difference; and if known, would often convert what was censure, into praise; and wh t was praise, into censure. For instance, it might come out that some private enemy of the Author had said i;, or that the Aa~ thor had said it himself. Or that a Sectarian had been reviewing a Doctor of Divinity, or a Doctor of Divinity a Sectarian ; or that the remarks came from one who»e eyes w> re not blinded by partiality, or by prejudice, but by ignorance. Or i< might appear that one Author who had written badly upon a su'njt'ct, had been reviewing another, who had written better upon the same; or that the Criticisms of Mr. A. had ben inserted, because his necessities obliged him to drudge for a Pub- lisher, at a guinea per sheet less than Mr. B. These, and a thousand other thing-;, are necess-ry to he known, but which anonymous criticism prevents our knowing ; before we permit our judgment to be guided by the Critics, with re- spect to tb se Authors, with whom we have no acquaintance, but through the introduction of their remarks and observations. I request my Headers to reflect a little on the above po itions- 200 HYPOCRISY. By worse than Gipsey*-hands disguised, defiled, 1 shall not know again my kidnapped Child. But to return to my anonymous Friends. Mr. A, B, C,orD, educated nobody knows where, and qualified for his office, nobody knows how, scribbles a little essay, containing his pri- vate opinion of the merits, or demerits of some unfortunate Au- thor. Now it is obvious that this little essay, value about three halfpence, and written by an obscure individual, as for in- stance, myself, would produce no effect at all upon the public opinion, or public taste. It might circulate to the amount of one or two hundred copies, in that little circle or atmosphere of notoriety which every man, more or less, concentrates around himself. But the Author of this little essay procures its inser- tion in some Review, the Editors of which perceive it has a lit- tle vivacity, and that it contains nothing that runs counter to those principles on which their publication is conducted. Now mark the mighty change; stitched up with some other similar attempts; ornamented with covers of blue Paper, and digni- fied with the Royal Title of We, and the Critics, our meta- morphosed little three-half-penny Essay becomes at once the organ that regulates the taste and opinion of a vast reading and reflecting population; and opens, or shuts the purses of thou- sands of his Majesty's Subjects, who voluntarily submit to a Capitation Tax in this shape, who, in any other form would resist it to the uttermost. When we consider the effect pro- duced by these publications, and the flimsy materials of which most of them are composed, can wehelp exclaiming, "An quid- quain stultius quam quos singutos contemnas, eos aliquid pu- taie esse universos ?" "Can any thing be more ridiculous, than to think that those are of consequence when united, whom as Individuals we despise ?" That there are some Gentlemen ©f very respectable talents, HYPOCRISY. 201 Now Critics ! for a space, farewell, — to write To please you, were in truth — to starve you quite; Cheer up! my lines have faults that shall revive Your hearts ; who live to growl, must growl — to live. When once the helmet's on, 'tis then too late With foes to parley, thundering at the gate ! Before the trumpet's j* sound, 'tis wise to weigh With steady hand, the dangers of the fray ; ^Tis done ; — your keenest shafts, nor foulest breath, Shall wound my peace, nor frighten me to death ; engaged in this department of Literature, is evident, from the manner in which some of the Articles are reviewed. Surely the names of those Gentlemen who could write such articles, would not only be an honour to any critical publication, but would also be the means of exciting an additional curiosity in the public, and of awakening a greater degree of attention to their remarks. * In this comparison of the Gipsey, some more points of resemblance might be adduced ; but I leave them to the ima- gination of my Readers. I hav* heard of an Author who read nearly a whole Article in one of the Reviews, without discovering that he was reading an account of his own Work. " Where ignorance is bliss ' tis folly to be icise ;" and in this happy state, he would have remained, had not a solitary quo- tation, in the last page, let him into the secret ; namely, that he had been enjoying, a laugh at his own expense, f Tecum prins ergo voluta Haec animo, ante tubas ; galeatum sera duelli Pcenitet." C c 202 HYPOCRISY. Though White, * your poisoned arrows from hi* breast, In mute forgiveness drew, — then sunk to rest! At those who court the combat hurl the dart, "\ But spare the bruised reed, the broken heart. Then do your worst, exert your utmost rage, Twist, mangle, rack for blemishes, my page, And when you've finished, and are quite aground, Ten that you've missed, I'll shew, for one you've found. * See Remains of Henry Kirke White, ■f On attempting to recollect any thing that mightyinr/y be adduced, in f.-vour of anonymous criticism, the whole se> ms reducible to this. The feelings of Mr. Nobody, the Critic, are of much more consequence than the feelings of Mr. Somebody, the Author : therefore the Critic must be allowed to fight in close and safe quarters ; because it takes many years of hard study and close application to make a Critic ! Whereas, a fevr hours of light reading aie quite sufficient to constitute an Au- thor. Again — Those Reviews, the writers of which are un- knotnt, may wnture to be more spiiited, cutting, and saicas- tic ; iherefoie they sell better ; because all men rejoice to see an Author humbled ; and none are more pleased to see this than Brother Authors. But whatever Spirit there may be in anon) nmus Reviews, it appears to me to be as easy to be brave at the risk and hazard of an Editor, (since he is the only osten- sible person,) us it i« to be generous at another man's expense. But I slia ! evtr think that is the most spirited Publication, the writers of wh.ch disdain to shoot their arrows, like the Indian, from some secure and secret lurking plate ; but who come forward boldly rith Nisns, and exclaim, "Adsurn qui feci." "Here 1 am, who did it." HYPOCRISY. 203 But should my Pen (more than it hopes) attain The Vulgar Plaudit, — where's the mighty gain, If, while the Page be praised, the Author's hissed? Men Satire love, but hate the Satirist. Yet, when we think of what vile things are made The great and little Vulgar, str'ctly weighed, Say dull Mundanus, * shall I woo the nine, To please such play cold, cautious hearts, — as thine; Mundanus,— drilled to cringe and kiss the Rod, — Who, ere he praises waits his Patron's Nod ; From fear of wrong, who never dares be right, From selfish dread of censure, useless quite ; Whose feet ne'er ventured on untrodden ground, In trammels stiff of rules and customs bound ; Formed like the Trees, by climate, and by soil, Whose blood, like sap, doth creep, but never boil, Whose life, insipid, smooth as Hay ley's "\ song, With sleep-inviting current steals along ; * It will not be necessary to appropriate to any individual, the character of Mundanus. It happens to be, with some slight modifications, the character of the great majority. The old manly, rough, and independent English Character, seems to he worn down in a servile attendance on those who command the patronage of rotten Boroughs, Ecclesiastical Preferments, and Close Corporations. Such Sycophants in one respect may be compared to old Guineas;— the more smooth they are, the lejs valuable ; — I wish they were as scarce. f If 1 have mentioned Mr. Hay ley more than once, it is be- 204 HYPOCRISY. Who owns a spiritless, a tasteless mind, Vapid as wines, o'er-racked, and o'er-refined ; Too wise the Fool, to dull the Knave to prove, Too cold for Friendship, too discreet for Love, "Whose heart ne'er glowed another heart to meet, Incapable as lead of welding * heat A bloodless, senseless, lukewarm, harmless thing, That bears no honey, and that wears no sting. Then who would write the multitude to please ? Formed, as in truth they are, of such as these I O for a shop of shops, where all who need, Might purchase Sense ! the books they buy — to read ; cause he is, with respect to the sale of his Works, one of our mostsucceseful Rhimers. Perhaps it is my misfortune that I can discover no beauties in his Poetry, notwithstanding I can see many in his Prose. But he has qualities far more amiable. It is not my intention to pay (what no man will thank one for) a compliment to his heatt at the expense of his head. For I repeat my convictions that in his Prose Writings he has merit- ed the title of an Ehgant Scholar. I shall not think one atom the worse of Mr. Hay ley, if he should retort that neither my Verse nor Prose contain any thing worth reading. "Nos haec novimu- e--se nihil." * A Capability of being indissolubly united at a certain heat, calkd by Workmen the welding heat. This is a property pecu'iar to the finest Iron ; the more pure, and free from Sul- phur the metal is, the better. 1 have heard that Platina will weld; but its hi^h price and obstinate infusibilily, make this quality of little value iu Platina. HYPdCRisY. 205 Wigs have attained perfection, nought remains For the Great Seal to stamp, but patent Brains ; Shall brains alone their baffled art defy, Who give us Teeth, or Ears, a Nose * or Eye \ \ A friend to all that's good, in Churchy or State, No foe to worth I cannot emulate ; * "Sic adscititios nasos, de clune torosi Vectoris, docta secuit Talicotius arte." T I have somewhere read a story of an unfortunate Christian who gained a livelihood in Constantinople, by making specta- cles, and artificial Eyes. He had the honour to make an Eye for the Grand Seignior, and was handsomely paid. About a month after that, he was sent for, and was to his great astonishment surely bastinadoed for a Cheat. The Gen- tlemen who administer these punishments, are usually not very communicative of any thing but blows. But at last, he found out that the Grand Seignior had worn his E>e, with all Ma- hommedan patience for a whole month, and yet could see no bet* t-er with it, than he could on the first day it was put in ! £ I have referred my readers, for a note on the word Priest, to the Appendix; but as that will not be printed till the third Book is finished, at the end of which it will be annexed ; I shall offer what few observations I had to make on that head, here. Once for all, I attach no importance whatever to any of my remarks. If I am wrong, 1 shall be very much obliged to any one who will set me right. There; may be a thousand reasons for differing in opinion ; s-ldo n one good reason for quarrel- ling about them. Conformity in essentials is a real good, so far as it can be obtained by argument, not by force; by per- suasion, not by penalties. «|ln necessariis sit unitas ; in non 206 HYPOCRISY. No faction's tool, but proud to plead the cause Of Freedom while she venerates the laws, necessariis, liberalitas, in omnibus, Charitas" Therefore I shall use the common privilege of every rational creature, to "conjecture with freedom, to propose with diffidence, to dissent with civility." I have in a former note attempted to clear the Presbyterians from a false aspersion. Many will be ready to infer from this that I am an enemy to the Establishment. No such thing. To say that the Members of the Establishment, or that those who compose Dissenting Congregations are perfect, would be to say that they are not men, A little of their zeal and activity, would not hurt us ; a little of our liberality would not hurt them. Were the power and patronage of the Esta- blishment removed into other hands, I am far from thinking the uew possessors would evince a greater degree of modera- tion in the enjoyment of them. While any Church is con- nected with a Government, that Church will always have something to gi\e; and it will ever be matter of contention, who are the most fit to receive it. But in this struggle for temporalities the great advantages Christianity is capable of bestowing even on the present state of Society, (for it is a so- cial Religion,) are annihilated. "There hath not been disco- vered," says Lord Bacon, "in any age, any Philosophy, Opi- nion, Religion, L^w, or Discipline, which so greatly exalts the common, and lessens the in dividual Interest, as the Christian Religion doth." My partiality for the Establishment, has not made me blind to its faults. In many things, but most of all in its Ar- ticles, I humbly conceive there is room, and shortly may be opportunity, for improvement. When we reflect who and what those men are, who have seceded from us, because they couhi not, in tlieir prtseut state, conscientiously subscribe to the Articles; we must acknowledge, we can ill afford to lose HYPOCRISY. 207 I look on earth for no Utopian plan Of pure angelic excellence, in man ; such talents, enhanced hy such integrity. Some years since a very large proportion of the Clergy gave manifest and public proof of their wishes, on this occasion. I am inclined to think that this proportion hath of late increased. When Paley was asked for his vote on this occasion, his reply was, " I sincerely wish well to the cause, but cannot at present afford to keep a conscience." A foolish and thoughtless joke, which on such an occasion had been better spared. But some may say, " Ha9 the Church Power to revise, alter, or annul any of her Articles ? Head her own language in these very Articles ; General Councils are assemblies of men, all of whom may not be governed by the Spirit and Word of God : they may err, and sometimes have erred ; and all tilings ordained by them as neces- sary to salvation, have neither strength, nor authority, unless it may be declared that they are taken out of the holy scriptureSm Every particular, or national church, hatli authority to ordain, change, or abolish ceremonies or riles of the church, ordained only by men's authority. Much learned labour hath of late been bestowed, to prove that these Articles are not Calvi- inistic ; and that they are Apostolic. I must conceive it is of infinitely more consequence to make out the hitter proposition, than the former. As far as Calvin, or any other Reformer, or Teacher,can be reconciled to the Gospel, so far he is entitled to our attention, and no farther. In defence of Calvin's perse- cuting Spirit it has been usual to say it was the error of the Times in which he lived ; and the necessary fault of his Educa- tion. But surely one, who after tearing himself from the pale of the Church of Rome, became, a kind of Protestant Pope at Geneva ; who after escaping from the very laboratory of Persecution, was ever after blinded by the smoke, "Ardcnii* 208 HYPOCRISY. The faults that in myself I tolerate, I can in others pity, more than hate. Masste fuliginelippus ;*' who, in the case of Servetus, gave woe- ful proofs that with all his wisdom, he was not above the dread- ful errors of the age in which he lived ; surely, such an one is not exactly the Oracle that is to guide the faith, and regu- late the opi nions of Posterity. But supposing Calvin had given us, what he certainly has not, the best proof that he was indeed entitled to the highest veneration and authority a- xnongst Posterity ; namely, that he himself was above the errors of his own day ; yet even that, in the present case, would hardly justify us in pinning our faith upon his sleeve. Because the superadded experience of so many centuries, and the glo- rious light of the Reformation, of which he was only one of the Morning Stars, have enabled us to be much better judges in these matter now for ourselves, than Calvin could at that time have possibly been for us. On this subject Lord Bacon has expressed himself with his usual pregnant brevity. "De antiquitate autem, opinio quam homilies de ipsa fovent, neg- ligens omnino est, et vix verbo ipsi tongrua. Mundi euiin Se- nium, et Grandsevitas pio antiquitate vere habenda suut; quae temporibus nustris tribui debent, non juniori aetati muudi, qualisapud antiquos fuit . Ilia enim retas respectu nostra, unti- qua et major ; respectu mundi ipsius nova et minor fuit.' *'But that opinion which men entertain concerning antiquity, is altogether vague, and hardly to be reconciled to the veiy term itself. For the old and advanced age of the world, may indeed be considered to be tree antiquity ; and this antiquity belongs to modern times ; not to that yourger age of the Woild, such as it was amongst the Anticnls. For that age of the Antients, with respect to our age, is certainly the older of the two ; but with nspeetto the world, it is as certainly the younger." HYPOCRISY. 209 Taught by plain Truth alone, and Common Sense, I make to inspiration no pretence, Hare Gift ! — to prove it, mark the Grecian's page, Th' unrivalled wonder still of every age. But, if the Honest, Wise, and Good can find Just cause of anger to a generous mind, One vice encouraged, or one virtue grieved, Then — let the volume perish, unreprieved ; If ought but Worth or Genius, have my praise, Or ought but Guilt my Censure — damn the lays. Wouldst ride, not walk I a Panegyric write, To Lords A, B, or C, the Scroll indite, Long as their rent-roll ; as their coffers full ; False as their pleasures ; as their converse dull. He knows them not, who flatters Fools by halves, Then be not nice in cramming golden calves. But would his Grace be tickled, swear he is Unmatched by all the Dukes in Genesis ! Or plead some Nabob's cause, whose avarice Against rupees, weighed out the hoarded rice ; Or prove his victories just, his title good To fame, whose piled Pagodas* smell of blood ; Thus win their Friendship ; of their smiles pos- sessed, Worm next the fatal secret^ from their breast ; * An Indian Coin, f *« Scire volunt geceta Domvis atque inde timeri." D d 210 HYPOCRISY. Dear is his wealth to Clive, + but dearer still The wretch that can accuse him when he wili ; *f" Carus erit Verri, qui Verrem tempore, quo vult, Accusare potest. Tanti tibi non sit opaci Omnis arena Tagi, quodque in mare volvitur aurum, Ut siimno careas, pohendaque prsemia somas Tristis, et a magno semper timearis anilco." The epithet of an heaven-born Gefieral was invented by Lord Chatham, and by him applied to this extraordinary man. In the year 1773, a motion was made in the House of Commons, to resolve, that in the acquisition of his wealth, Lord Clive had abused the powers with which he had been entrusted. This motion was rejected, and it was voted that he who may be considered the Founder of the British Empire in India, had rendered great and meritorious services to his Country. He had been previously presented by the Court of Directors with a superb and Costly Sword, set with Diamonds. But the horrid fears and remorseful agitations which overcame this Hero on his couch, and rendered solitude a scene more dread- ful than the ensanguined field, or the fire of artillery, together with the shocking circumstance of his putting a period to his own existence, do not tend to weaken our doubts of the purity of the means by which his vast wealth was accumulated. The avarice which clouded the character of another Hero, Marl- borough, ended at last in the second childhood of dotage and debility. This Passion " grew with his growth," but it does not appear, (as in the case of Elwes and most other misers) that it "strengthened with his weakness." At a dinner, where many Ambassadors were present, Mailborough, when called upon for a toast, gave " My Queen," meaning Queen Anne. One of the guests, who sat next to prince Eugene, enquired of him whatQu.eu the Duke alluded to ? " 1 have never heard of HYPOCRISY. 211 But far more dear, to quench the Candle 1 s spark, And sleep unmatched, no Coward in the Dark. Sweet balmy Sleep ! once fled, thou'rt not restored By Votes of Senates, or a diamond Sword ; Ah ! what can purchase thee ? Not all the golcj. By famed Pactolus to the Ocean rolled ; Not all the treasure his Imperial Slave To false Pizarro * for a ransom gave ; any but one," said the Prince, "to her indeed he is a most de- voted Subject, " Regina Pecunia." * When Pizarro look Atahualpa, the Emperor of Peru, prisontr, he offered, says Dr. Robertson, a ransom for his liberty which astonished the Spaniards, even after all they knew of the opulence of his kingdom. The apartment in which he was confined was twenty-two feet in length, and sixteen in breadth, and he undertook to fill it with vessels of gold as high as he could reach. The Inca actually perfomed his part of the agreement, but the Spaniards most perfidiously deceived him. They seized the treasure of the captive monarch, and still detained him in custody. But they soon proceeded to a much higher act of treachery and injustice; they pretended to bring to a trial, before a tribunal of Spanish Judges, the independent Emperor of Peru, on the ridiculous arraignment that he had rebelled against his /awful Sovereign, the king of Castile, to whom the Pope had granted a right to his do- minions ! Men who cou!d thus pro&titute the forms of law and justice, had resolved to commit murder, and were solicitous only to avoid the infamy of it. The trial accordingly termi- nated in condemnation, and the unfortunate Atahualpa soon after suffered the death of a criminal ! 2X1 HYPOCRISY. He dared not set that potent Inca free, Who such a price could pay for liberty. Think not that I all praise or censure scorn, Or that my callous heart is made of horn ; Yea some there are, whose calm approving voice Hath power to make despondency rejoice ; Should these applaud, all's well, I shall not rate Their value by their number, but their weight. Ah ! Who that hath not felt them, who can tell The fears that sink, the rising hopes that swell His breast, who courts, as yet to fame unknown, The maiden Muse, unfriended * and alone ; * What has been said of giving, may be as truly said of ap- proving. " Bis laudat, qui cito laudat". "He praised me," said Johnson, " when as yet 1 was in obscurity, without friends, and without money ; and when praise was of service to me. 1 ' In general, we are afraid to commit ourselves, by praising any thing that is new; we wait for the Public ; the Public for the Critics ; the Critics for the watchword of their Party; or the nod of their Patron ; or the fees of their Pay-masters. A fig for such commendations. Any skirler or babbler can follow the pack, or re-echo the cry; give me the reader, " Acuti naris," who boldly challenges upon the scent, and first and singly announces the game. To bestow praise in the proper place, and to come forward with it in the proper season, re- quirts more taste and more courage than to censure. Any mob can pull down what an architect only could erect. But praise should be the incentive, not the principle ; the spur, not the prize; the cordial that refreshes and revives, not the dram thai ictoxictts and overcomes. A man may be smother- HYPOCRISY. 213 Doomed all the Moor's distrustful pangs to prove, To " doat, yet doubt ;* suspect, yet strongly love." 1 scorn myself, when raptured I survey The mighty Masters of th' immortal lay ; Thus, one who strives with glance of naked eye, The Pyramids, -f their height, and breadth to try 9 ed in honey, like Voltaire; no less than in gall, like Salmasius, Whoever would persuade us that he is indifferent to the praise of the wise and the virtuous, either will not be believed, or if he saves his veracity, it will be at the expense of qualities al- most as valuable. " Laudari baud metuarn, neque enira mihi cornea fibra est, Sed rict ' Jinem exlremumque esse recuso, Euge tuum, et belle." * See Shakespeare's Othello. " Incipit, et dubitat, scribit, damnatque tabellas, Et notat, et delet, mutat, culpatque, probatque ; In que vicem sumptas ponit, positasque resuinit." " Now he begins, now stops, and stopping frames New doubts, now writes, and now his writing damns; By tivns defaces, alters, likes, and blames; Oft throws in haste his pen and paper by, Then takes them up again, as hastily," \ These stupendous monuments of human folly and vanity have been poetical and oratorical property ever since they were built. " In what year of our Lord did that happen ? " said my uncle Toby. Ask the critics, I neither know nor care. I have heard that Buonaparte, when first Consul, made the follow- ing fine allusion to the^e monuments of Antiquity, in a speech before the Deputies of the Departments : " France, externally formidable and successful, but internally weak and miserable, wants a peace. She may be compared to those Pyramids I 214 HYPOCRISY. Learns well his own contrasted littleness, But must their awful Grandeur only guess. The Model I propose, I cannot reach, Nor seeing, show ; * nor, lost in wonder, teach j Else might the bright description grace my style, And one Oasis -\ in the desert smile. have lately seen in Egypt ; their outward appearance, indeed, fills the mind of the spectator with ideas of their grandeur, strength, and magnificence; but when he enters them, what does he behold ? Inanimated ashes, and the silence of the tomb ! * «« Hunc talem nequeo monstrare, et sentio taatum.'* I am for from thinking what follows a finished Portrait ; it is more strictly a rough sketch, nor would it have been ex- hibited to my readers, at least for the present, and in the crude state in which it is, had not some unforeseen changes taken place in my plan of publication. A partial Jury of a few friendg who have seen it, recommended its insertion. Imperfect as this attempt is, it may serve to remind Modern versifi- ers that the true Poet, from the man\ rare endowments which must conspire, and co-operate in his formation, cannot be a very common character; and that we may safely walk through the crowded Streets of the Metropolis, and even venture into the Row, without any danger of being jostled by true Poets, even in this rhyming age. *« Ex quovis Ligno non fit Poeta." An observation I once made to an American of the name of Woody who showed me some wretched rhymes of his own composing. f The Oases are highly fruitful and culthated spots, green and beautiful as emeralds, which occasionally may be found in the midst of the desert, filling the exhausted traveller with de- light and astonishment. He readily ackonwledg^s them to be HYPOCRISY. 215 The Bard, Creation's heir, and Fancy's child, Rich as the Vale, and as the Mountain wild ; From Critics cold takes not, but gives * the rule, Nor floats on common-place, that stagnant pool ; both " rich " and " rare," but " wonders how the devil they got there? 1 * It is notorious that the greatest of the Poets have -preceded the Critics of their respective countries ; and that the finest productions of the human mind have been finished before the rules for composing them were laid down. Thus Aristotle wrote after Homer; Quintilian and Longinus after Virgil ; and in our own country, the very name of a native Critic was hardly known, till long after Shakespeare and Milton were dead. " Ofortunati nimium ! " It appears then that the Cri- tics have not been the Proestolatores, who marching in the van. of the Poet, have facilitated his progress, by clearing the un- discovered land of its difficulties and impediments ; but that they have been content, like Sutlers, to bring up the rear ; to bethe mere proclaimers of the Poet's Victory, or the Pageants of his Triumph. After thty have recovered from their asto- nishment at the marvellous prowess, the " speciosa miracula" displayed by him, they next encumber him with their officious help; or else, like the Rhetorician who undertook to tench Hannibal the art of war, presume to tell him how he might hare done better ! It has been observed " that there are two periods favourable to Poets, a rude age when a genius may hazard any thing, and when nothing has been forestalled. The other i<, when after an age of barbarism, a master or two,as Milton, pro- duce models formed by purity, and taste." But in general that * xcessive refinement superinduced by a classical education, and an intimacy with the pure models of antiquity, while it shar- pens the judgement, has a natural tendency to discourage en- 216 HYPOCRISY. Knows, with the river's smoothness, to combine The torrent's force, in his resistless line ; Where, like the Nile, all eyes with wonder own The stream majestic, but the source unknown! E'en in his youth, his front, with proud desire Of Fame that beams, betokens nascent fire; Thus, o'er yon eastern cloud, the rising ray Predicts the splendour of the coming day. Whene'er he stoops, 'tis from that Eagle's height That o'ertops others, in his lowest flight ; He starts no mean, no common race to run, And if he falls, illustriously undone, Tis the bright fall of him who dared to guide the Sun. Within the magic circle of his eye, All Nature's beauties, all her terrors lie, She reigns unrivalled o'er a willing heart, That scorns the charms of meretricious Art ; terprize, fetter invention, and repress originality. Such men find it more easy to give rules for fine writing to others, than to exemplify them in themselves. They seldom realize the high expectations that were formed of them ; and usually fail as authors, from a vain attempt to produce better bread than cm be made of wheal. We have many instances of such characters, of whom the world would have thought more highly, had they never written. In this respect they may be compared to that literary phcenomenon Crichton, to whom, with a slight alter- ation, a sentence in Tacitus may be adapted ; " Orauiutn consensu capax scribendi, nisi scrlpsisset. HYPOCRISY. 217 Can Art touch Nature in effect, or plan? Can God be rivalled in his Creature Man? To Slaves of Wealth, the Bard displays a mind, From low pursuits, and sordid cares refined ; True friend to social joys, the brawling feast He shuns, where o'er the man presides the beast ; The flow of ignorance, the feast of Swine, * Where old ideas pall us, and new wine. Luxuriant Vale, or cloud-enveloped Height, The soothing Rill, tempestuous Ocean's might, The trim smooth-shaven Lawn, the shaggy Wood, The lake of Glass, the wild torrentuo us flood, Frequented Walk, or lonely Precipice, That frowns forlorn o'er Conway's dread abyss ; These, yield him pleasures that no pains alloy, What others anxious hold, 'tis his t' enjoy. But chief the Bard, on bold invention's wing, In fancy's boundless realms delights to sing. Each thought, brought forth in rapture, not in pain, Starts, bright as Pallas from the Thunderer's brain ; Nor doth the vast exhaustless Ocean hold More wealth unclaimed, more undiscovered gold. Seated in contemplation's diamond Car, Calm he surveys the elemental war ; * '* Prandent Porcelli, Porcorum Pigra prop«go 1" The ancients, whenever they wished to enjoy the " feast of Reason, and the flow of Soul" very wisely restricted their parties to a number not less than the graces, nor more than the muses, E e 218 , HYPOCRISY. Or stands on hoarse Niagra's trembling mound, While notes heard farther than his waves resound ; Immortal Verse, that shall not cease to flow, When time shall lay that watery wonder low. Or lost in midnight gaze of rapture, rims O'er heaven's star-studded arch, that wilderness of suns ; Suns that saw rebel-angels headlong hurled, Ere from the germ of chaos burst the world ; Where grand profusion, negligent, sublime, Acts uncontrolled by matter, space or time ; Where Newton erst beheld, with ravished eye, The grand Sensorium *f of Deity ! * 1 have often been much struck with the following descrip- tion of the Deity. *' From his grand Sensoriuna, Infinity of Space, and Eternity of Duration, he directs all the move- ments of nature ; and is determined, by his own unalterable perfections, to maintain in it, at all times, and in all places, the highest possible quantity of happiness, by the best possible means." There are three reflections, which have often assist- ed me in forroiug awful, but very inadequate conceptions of the immensity of God's Works. The first is, that the whole diameter of the Earth's orbit, from Cancer to Capricorn, be- comes a mere point, when compared with the inconceivable distance of the fixed stars. The truth of this is evident; be- cause Sirius, which is the nearest fixed star, is the only one which has a perceptible, annual parallax. The second reflec- tion is, that such immense bodies as the Comets, fchould have •* ample scope ai:d space enough" allowed them, tode^ribe such vast and eccentric orbits, and yet never endanger the workmanship, or destroy the beauty of the firmament, by HYPOCRISY. 219 " Nature's High Priest," in reverential mood, Modest, unconscious of his worth, he stood, Himself a nobler light than all the suns he viewed ! getting within those spheres of attraction produced by the Sung of other systems. The third is this —When Herschel first took sweeps of the Heavens, with his forty-foot Reflector, the starry host he observed, appeared to be multiplied under his eye. Before the Philosophical Society, he hazarded this bold con- jecture. " My Reflector," said he, "gives me in some sort a power of looking back into time past ; since I have good reason to conclude that some of the fixed stars I have discovered by its means, must have been created two millions of years ago ! /'* From some observations on clusters of fixed stars, which to the naked eye appear like nebulae, and which are situated at the remotest perceptible point of the Galaxy, this Philosopher was led to conclude, that a ray of light coming from the farthest of them, would require a period of nearly two millions of years, to travel the immeasurable distance which separates our earth from them. But this distance must have been passed through by their rays, or the stars from whence they emanate, would not be visible ; since no object can be seen except by rays that come from it. It has been calculated with q»uch ac- curacy, that light reaches us from the sun in more than eight, and less than nine minutes. It is supposed a ray from Sirius would reach us in about six years ; since it is demon- strable, he cannot be less than a certain distance from our earth, by observations on his parallax. Of Spate and of Duration, it has always struck me, that it is much less difficult to conceive them infinite than bounded. Neither do ihe grandest discoveries of Astronomy, nor the boldest conceptions of Philosophers, invalidate the only ra- tional and consistent account we have of the Creation, namely 220 HYPOCRISY. With fainter beam, more transient, less refined, The body these irradiate — He the mind ! But Suns, nor Systems, glorious as they are, Not these their Maker's wisdom most declare ; Nor best, — one object doth the Poet prize, More high than all the marvels of the skies; He dares, but with no vulgar eye, to scan Each glorious work of God — and mostly Man !* the Mosaic; since that in all probability, relates only to our system. " And God made two great lights ; the greater light to rule the Day; and the lesser light to rule the night ; he made the stars also.'' , This, 1 humbly conceive to be a simple, yet sublime account of our system, the sun, the moon, and the planets; the Creation of all which must have been, fiom the known laws of gravity, coeval. Although the researches of Philosophy have uniformly con- firmed the Sacred History, yet there are difficulties she may not overcome, and mysteries she must not penetrate. On these occasions, it is surely more safe, and more creditable, to stand on the Terra-Firma of Revelation, in company with such men as Newton and Bacon ; than to commit ourselves to the un- Icnown regious of Scepticism, and conjecture, attended by such guides as Volney and Voltaire. " Fidei, etejus firmamentis, standum." * " Quicquid agunt Homines." Poetry has for its legiti- mate and principal object man; his character, manners, pas- sions, sentiments, actions ; for those things will always most sensibly affect us to which we are most nearly related. But we are most nearly related to man ; therefore man, hist actions and passions are the proper subjects for the poet. Tragedy, that mo-,t interesting department of the art, owes all its powers to this single circumstance, that of being the most lively and HYPOCRISY. 221 Can sink or swell, can rouse or lull to rest, Each chord that jars, or modulates the breast ; affecting imitation of important human actions. "E^ti* a» Tfayuhai mnvm vpctl-tus < of time, and the transactions of some 224 HYPOCRISY. In Him, the Bard precedes, outstrips the man, Subject of Charles he lives, but writes for Anne; particular moment ; whereas the Poet can represent, not only the action, but its remotest consequences. One superiority I will admit. A fine Painting addresses itself to all nations, and charms every one that has eyes. But it is not always that the efforts of the Pencil fully explain themselves. *« Speak" was the last word a statuary uttered, on giving the finishing-touch of his chissel to the Statue. Though a Painter has often oc- casion to wish this, yet it is what "optanti Divom promiitere nemo auderet" — "Hoc defuit unum." Moreover, in addi- tion to the charms of numbers and of harmony, to which Painting can have no pretence, the Poet can effect all with his pen, that the Painter can accomplish with his Pencil, and very much that he cannot. Take, for instance, the death of Tur- nus. The Painter could give us the stern countenance of JEneas, the supplicating look of the vanquished Turnus, and the gorgeous belt that adorned his person. But he could never inform us, as the Poet has done, that jEneas recognized, in that belt, the belt of Pallas; that Pallas was his dearest friend; that this dearest friend Turnus had slain. Yet the tragical ca- tastrophe, the death of Turnus, hinges upon these very cir- cumstances ; none of which the Painter could have described ; but all of which the Poet has represented, and most inimitably; — ■ " Tune inquit Spoliis indute meorum, Eripiare mihi ?" •« Canst thou hope to escape my -ven- geance, clad as thou art in the spoils of my dearest Fnend ?* In short, Poetry seems to combine the powers, both of Music and of Painting ; she comprehends all that her sister arts can embrace, and very much they cannot reach. But I observed that she enriches her favourites with gifts more imperishable and indeprivable — •« afford au. A Poet, were he to lose the •enses of hearing and of sight, might yet solace himself by jthe HYPOCRISY. 225 He meets improvement, and adorns his page With the pure diction of a future age ; Gives to his native tongue strength not its own, And leaves it marble,* though he found it stone; Mid the rude efforts of unskilful hands, A finished monument ! his labour stands ; resources, and though blind, enlighten others by the powers of his art. But deprive the Musician only of the first ofthes* senses, and the Pai nter only of the second, and »t would be next to impossible for them to delight others, or to amuse themselves. Sir Joshua Reynolds was struck with blindness; and we know that he bore the stroke with the firmness of a Philosopher, and the resignation of a Christian. But his fa- vourite art, so far from being able to administer him any con- solation, was note, alas ! itself converted into the most poig- nant source of his sorrow. *« Hinc illae lichrymae." But the Poet, under the pressure of the same calamity, illuminates the darkness that surrounds him ; he solaces his privacy, he im- mortalizes his fame, and bequeaths to a grateful posterity, that inestimable Legacy, The Paradise Lost / * Lateritiam invenit, marmoream reliquit." Were we to fit any particular reign as the aera of the Augustan age of England, perhaps the majority of voices would be in favour of the reign of Anne ; Fuit Ilium et in gens Gloria Teucrorum.'* Both in Arts and in Arms, we then shone most conspicuous, blessed with the propitious smiles, " Utriusque Minervae." Dr. Johnson seems inclined to declare in favour of Eliza- beth ; «« From the Authors which arose in the time of Eliza* F f 226 HYPOCRISY. Thus rears the Czar,* to crown the shapeless block, His polished Statue, on the rugged rock. Master of style, expression's every grace, Each elegance of speech, 'tis his to trace ; beth," says he, •' a speech might be formed adequate to all the purposes of use, and of elegance. If the language of Theology were extracted from Hooker, and the translation of the Bible ; the terms of natural knowledge from Bacon; the phrases of policy, war, and navigation, from Raleigh ; the dialect of poetry and fiction from Spenser and Sidney; and the diction of com- mon life from Shakspeare, few Ideas would be lost to man- kind for want of English words, in which they might be ex- pressed." * The largest stone ever moved by human ingenuity, is that on which the Empress Catharine caused the statue of Peter the Great to be raised, in the square of Petersburgh. This stone was placed by levers on a wooden frame, nearly in the shape of a sledge, having grooves in which cannon balls were placed ; on these the stone traversed, as on friction rollers. When at the end of the frame, a similar one, with corresponding grooves was placed before it, and when it reached the end of the second, the first frame was again brought forward; of course it was necessary to smooth and level the line of March, The rugged asperities of this immense stone, not one of which was per- mitted to be touched by the chissel, formed a fine contrast with the polished statue of Marble fixed upon the top of it. The rugged stone which formed the base of the statue, was em- blematical of the state of barbarism in which Peter found the Russian Empire, when he came to the throne. The sculptured Marble, on the top of it, was meant to designate the state of civilization and improvement, in which Peter left his domi- nions. HYPOCRISY. 227 Each delicate, discriminating shade, * Soft as the tints by suns autumnal made. To Grandeur should the bold conception rise, A Style as bold his flowing tongue supplies ; Pours forth the full majestic tide of song, Profound, yet lucid ; beautiful, yet strong ; Both Sense f and Soul enraptured, love the line, Where harmony and thought resistless charms combine. Though Nature's nobler language be his own, To him no minstrel sounds are quite unknown ; Albeit he sheds the bootless tear, to see The Muses' Seat— the Den % of Slavery ! Yet dear, and hallowed by the hand of Time, To him the Doric reed, the Delphic rhime, Trinacria's artless pipe, and Homer's strain sub- lime. Full dear the notes, that from Ilissu's shore, The Mantuan Swan § to his own Tiber bore ; * If Men had only the power of expressing themselves alike, in all instances wherein they think alike, then half the folios* which no one reads, no one had written, f " For eloquence the Soul, song charms the Sense." £ I allude to the present state of Greece. § Virgil had travelled into Greece, in quest of some place of retirement, where he might put the last polish to his iEneid. It is extraordinary that he makes no mention of Homer, in any part of his works; a Poet to whom we regret that he was so much indebted ; as he always succeeds best, when he quits his 228 HYPOCRISY. But, dearer still his harp, by angels strung, W ho higher than his mighty Masters sung ; ' model. Surely in Greece* the " Sacer admonitus locorum" must have brought Homer before his eyes. A respectful mention of him would have been creditable to both. At Athens Virgil met Augustus, and was about to return with him to Italy. It would httm that we are indebted to Tucca and Varius, for the preservation of the jEneid from the flames, and not to Augus- tus. Virgil, who cii-il at Brundusium, soon after his interview with Augustus, requested that his manuscripts might be brought to him, in order that he might commit the JSneid to the flaiufs. But Tucca and Varius persuaded him to spare that Poem, taking it upon themselves to say that Augustus would not permit it. *« Verum Tucca et Varius" (says Dona- tus) «« monuerunt id Augustum non permissurum." We must, however, give Augustus the merit of seeing the con* ditions on which Virgil left the jEneid to Varius, punctu- ally performed. In fact, the great esteem in which he held Virgil snd his writings, forms the most amiable part of that Emperor's character, yirgil soon afterwards was doomed to experience the truth of that homely proverb, ** New Lords, new Laws." For Caligula kicked his works out of all the libraries in Rome, as a Poet (says Suetonius) " of no genius, and the least possible learning ;" " Nullius ingenii, minimaeque doctrinse." Virgil was one of the few Poets who did full jus- tice to his own Verses, in the recitation of them. He declaim- ed •« maximS, cum suavitate, et miris lenociniis." Could he have heard Virgil recite his own verses, Caligula might have been induced to think more justly of them. Perhaps that Emperor read the Poem himself; " Et male dum recitas, in- cipit esse tuum." I think I have somewhere heard, that Queen Caroline, {who read Butler's analogy for amuaement,) HYPOCRISY. 229 Who having roamed all Helicon || in vain, On Sinai heard a more exalted strain ! being much pleased on hearing a Sermon preached by a certain divine, borrowed it to peruse; on returning it, she observed she liked it better when she heard it preached. " Madam," replied the divine, " when your majesty read the sermon, you had only the fiddle, when you heard it, you had the fiddle, and thejiddle~slick." But to return to Virgil ; I think a good excuse for Shakspeare's departures from the unities, may be found in a gross violation of them by so correct a Poet as Vir- gil, iu his amours of Dido and ./Eneas. In the first place, it is notorious that Dido was a womau of exemplary chastity ; and if cited to appear in court, so far from losing her cause, might have obtained damages against the Poet ; by proving aa anachronism of 300 years in his evidence. If this were not enough to convince her jury, she might have exclaimed "Flectere si nequeo Superos, Acheronta movebo ;" and have called up Pluto to make out an alibi for her pretend- ed Paramour. " I have ninety-nine reasons," said a Counsel, ** for my Client's not appearing in court. The first is, that he is dead" — "Stop," said the Judge, "we will not trouble you for the other ninety-eight." I shall conclude this gossipping note with a quotation from De Lille ; because it imparts new beauty, and gives a fresh interest to the Georgics ; superfluous perhaps, in as much as they were before confessedly the most perfect of all antient Poems. "La longue duree des guerre9 civiles avoit presquedepeuple les campagnes, et Rome meme 1' etoit au point, qu, Augustese Tit menace de ne regner que sur des deserts et des tombeaux. Une grande partie des terres de. 1' Italic avoit ete partagce entre les soldats, qui s'eloient occupes trop long terns a les ravager pour avoir appris a les culiiver. II lalloit done ranimer parrai '230 HYPOCRISY. Nor doth he scorn, with proud, pedantic eye, Romantic tale of highborn chivalry ; That tells how bright in polished Sidney * shone The Lover, Hero, Bard — combined in one ; i ; ' les Romains leur premier amour et leur premier talent pour Y Agriculture. Mecene qui mettoit toute sa gloire a aug- menter celle de son maitre et tie sou ami, engagea Virgile a se charger de cette entreprise. Virgile employa sept ans a la composition de cet ouvrage. On y reconnoit par tout le dessein dans lequel il l* avoit com- pose, et les vues de Mecene. Mais on les reconnoit sur tout dans ces plaintes touchanies sur la decadence de 1' Agricul- ture, qu' on lit a la fin du premier Livre ; encore plus dans cc bel eloge de la vie champetre qui termine le second, et dans lequel Virgile semble avoir reuni toute la force et toutes les graces de la Poesie, pour rappeller les Romains a leur ancien amour de I' Agriculture." |J Milton, with a genius second to none of them, commenced his poetical career with a degree of erudition superior to all Other Poets, ancient, or modern. Milton and Sir Isaac New- ton, are signal.instances of what may be effected by the rare, but felicitous union of exalted talent, patient industry, and unremitting application. * Sir Philip Sidney, author of the celebrated Romance, Arcadia. He also wrote Ourania, and several other smaller poetical pieces. As illustrious in arms, as in arts, his reputa- tion, for valour and wisdom stood so high, that in the year 15S5, he was thought a tit Person to be a candidate for the Crown of Polaud ; but Queen Elizabeth did not choose that England should lose so great a Jewel. After displaying un- common bravery, he received a nioital wound at the battle of Zutphem While he was in the arms of his attendants, who HYPOCRISY. 231 Iiow Royal Francis kneeled on crimson plain To Bayard's sword ; the Knight without a stain ! While jousts, and tilts, and tournaments inflame, With love of matchless Chief, the peerless Dame ; Such generous love, I ween, such virtuous rage, Sounds but a fiction, in a selfish age ; "When Beauty's Queen, + in savage triumph led, i^ound that thy Spirit, Chivalry! was fled; had procured for him a bottle of wine to allay his thirst, a wounded soldier was carried past him, and cast a wishful eye on the bottle. Sir Philip ordered it to be takeu to him, say- ing, " Poor fellow ! thy necessity is greater than mine." f The Queen of France. — Y\ hen we look back on the lasi twenty years, and reflect on the misery and devastation of the human species, in that short but eventful period, the question of " Cui bono?" imperiously forces itself upon our minds. We hope indeed that the effusion of so much blood, and the permission of so much misery, have some higher object than the only one at present perceptible — the aggrandizement of au unprincipled Upstart. While we hope this, we also fear that those evils may be intended as corrections, rather than cures. That national punishments, and national rewards, make a part of God's moral government, the Scriptures do not permit us to doubt. But these rewards or punishments must take place on, earth, because men are nationally accountable o;.ly here, although they are individually responsible hereafter. The French nation, which has suffered most, seems to have been benefited the least ; unless indeed an extent of territory to the monarch, may be considered as a salvo for the imposition of the severest restraint upon the subject. But it mutters little to me how large my prison is, if I am confined to a cello? it. 232 HYPOCRISY. Mid the fell rout tho' loyal valour wept, The Sword of Knighthood in its scabbard slept. Frenchmen/ee/ that civil inquisitions ha?ebeen erected at home, and are promised that religious ones shall be pulled down abroad. But Popery is the same evil, whether she carries on her trade of delusion, solely on her own firm, or in copartnership with a tyrant. France, once the cradle, is now the grave of liberty. Her sons have compounded with despotism ; that thejr territory may cease to be a slaughter-house, they have submitted to its becoming a barrack. But was there no middle point, between the extremes of anarchy and slavery ? " Virtus est medium vitiorum." This should be the frontlet, and the breastplate of Reformers. But the Philanthropists gravely tell us that posterity is to be bene- fited by the destruction of the present race. Posterity has been dubbed a Prince by Swift; but some are exalting it into a Deity, and a terrible one too ; a Moloch, to whom they Would sacri- fice millions of human victims. The following quotation from Burke, seems to have been dictated by the very spirit of Prophecy. Observe, it was written in the year one thousand seven hundred and ninety. **ln the weakness of one kind of authority, and in the fluctuation of all, the officers of the army will remain for some time muti- nous, and full of faction, until some popular general, who un- derstands the art of conciliating the soldiery, and tcho possesses the true spirit of command, shall draw the eyes of all men upon himself. Armies will obey him on his personal account. There is no other way of securing military obedience in this state of things. But the moment in which that event shall happen, the person who really commands the army is your Master, the Mas- ter (that is little J of your King, the Master of your Assembly, the Master of your whole Republic.** HYPOCRISY. 233 The Bard, triumphant o'er the frowns of fate, Want, Envy, Calumny, the Tyrant's * hate, * Irritability belongs to Poetasters, not to Poets. The following account will show that Poetry works no mira- cle, to defend the bodies of her Votaries from cruelties or persecutions, although she is indeed able to 8olace and sup- port their minds, under the infliction of them. It will also appear that she boasts of no Palladium, to protect her favourites from the numerous casualties and accidents incident to hu- manity. Menander, the prince of Comedy, whose eulogist was Quintilian, whose admirer was Ceesar ; Ctesar, who could only allow to Terence hal/'the merits of his grecian Model, " O di- midiate Menander ! " This poet, the Idol of his own times, and the desiderium of Posterity, must begin the list. He was drowned in the harbour of the Piraeus. The remainder of this melancholy catalogue is already finished to my hands, in the elegant preface to some translations from the greek Anthology. " By a strange fatality, a great proportion of the Writers of Antiquity, were thus prematurely cut off from existence. — Euripides and Heraclitus were torn to pieces by dogs; Theo- critus was strangled by order of Hiero; Empedoeles was lost in the Crater of Mount JEtna; Hesiod was murdered by his secret enemies ; Archilochus and Ibycus by banditti ; Sappho threw herself from a precipice ; iEsehylus perished by the fall of a Tortoise ; Anacreon was choked with a grape-stone ! Cratinus and Terence experienced the same fate with Menan- der ; Seneca and Lucan, condemned to death by the tyrant Nero, cut their veins, and died repeating thtir own verses ; Pe- tronius met a similar fate; Lucretius, it is said, wrote under the delirium of a philtre, administred by his mistress,and destroyed himself from its effects; Poison, though swallowed under very different circumstances, cut short the days of both Socrates and Demosthenes ; and Cicero fell under the proscription of 234 HYPOCRISY. Can conquer all tilings — save that inward foe, 'Tis Man's to fight — but God's to overthrow ; the Triumvirate. It is truly wonderful that so many men, the professed Votaries of peace and retirement, should have met with fates so widely different from what their pursuits and habits should seem to have exposed them to." Were we in- clined to increase this extraordinary list, we might add that Sophocles died of Joy ; Bion of Poison; Philemon of Laugh- ter ; Longinus on the Scaffold. And amongst the moderns, Algernon Sidney and Sir Walter Raleigh were unjustly be- headed ; Clarendon dragged out of his bed by a party of drunken Sailors, almost miraculously escaped being murdered ; Dante died of Vexation ; Voltaire of Flattery ; Sir Philip Sidney of a wound in the battle ; Otway and Chatterton of Starvation; Savage and Burns of Intemperance; and Fal- coner, after having escaped one shipwreck, perished by another ; the Victim of that element, whose fury he had des- cribed with so much pathos and classic elegance. As I have mentioned Menander at the head of this note, I shall add the opinion which that lamented Statesmen, and true Patriot, the honourable C. J. Fox, entertained of his merits. From the few but precious fragments of that Poet, which have escaped the ravages of time, it was this great man's opinion, that the loss of the dramas of Menander is more to be deplored, than of any other antient writings whatever. The testimony of such a Man, who, unlike his great Rival, possessed a taste to appre- ciate, and a heart to feel the beauties of Poetry, will justify us in applying to Menander the beautiful quotation from Phce- drus, so elegantly addressed by Addison, to Sappho ; *' O suavis anima .' qualem te dicam bonam Antehac fuisse, tales cum tint reliquire ? " It it curious that Camoens, the great Author of the Luiiad., HYPOCRISY. 235 All that Revenge or Malice can contrive, He can endure, and what is more — forgive ! All nature his extended views survey, Thence learns he wrongs with kindness to repay ; E'en brutes can teach forgiveness ; some to feed And clothe their slaughterer, unresisting bleed ; Stifled within her waxen cell, the Bee With sweets returns the cruel injury; Foaled on the sands, and in the desert nursed, Th' expiring Camel * slakes his murderer's thirst. narrowly escaped the fate of Menander. On his passage home from the East Indies, he suffered shipwreck ; and the Lusiad, like the Commentaries of Csesar, was preserved by the intre- pidity of the Writer, who swam with one hand, while he grasped his poem in the other. This would be a dangerous experiment for some of our modern Poets, whose works possess such an " alacrity in sinking," and are so utterly destitute of the *' t* vyix-Tov" or faculty of swimming. * This Quadi uped has been beauitifully styled the Ship of the Desert. Were it not for the Camel, the Wilds of Arabia would not be habitable by Man; and her illimitable Sands would prove the grave of the traveller. The Arab looks upon this Animal, as the most valuable gift of heaven. Trained by his master, to share the fatigue and privation of a life of hazard and of enterprise, and equal to the boldest efforts of predatory ■warfare, this animal seems to unite the speed of the Horse, with the patience of the Ox, and the strength of the Elephant. A troop of Camels disciplined" by the Arabs, and bearing each of them, three Soldiers fully equipped for war, can perform a journey of nine hundred miles, in eight days. To follow such 236 HYPOCRISY. Nay, things inanimate, revengeful rage Rebuke ; so taught th' enlightened Eastern * Sage ; a foe on horseback, would be to pursue the wind. But, in another point of view, the Camel supersedes all other beasts of burthen. The exhausted Traveller, in cases of extreme distress for food and water, instead of perishing by hunger and thirst, kills one of the Camels in his Troop. His flesh supplies him with a wholesome and not unsavoury meal ; and in his stomach, he finds a reservoir of water to assuage his thirst. As the Camel can endure a privation often days from water, this reservoir, or fifth stomach, is capable of holding from twelve to fourteen gallons. This element is there preserved, pure, limpid, perfectly unmixed with the aliment; although the Camel, by a voluntary contraction of certain muscles has a power of causing any quantity of it to ascend even as high as the oesophagus. The advocates of blind chance, who can be- lieve that a fortuitous concourse of atoms supplied the Camel with this singular apparatus, and then fixed him in the Desert, where only such a peculiarity of conformation could be useful, »uch men are certainly not unbelievers, for want of credulity I '* Quis credat tantas operum, sine nutnire, moles Ex minimis, csecoque treatum fcedere mundum ? Si Sors ista dedit nobis, Sors ipsa gubernat." * Confucius. In the eleventh anniversary discourse, by Sir William Jones, in the fourth volume of Asiatic Researches, the following passage occurs; — " It has been usual with zeal- ous men, to ridicule and abuse all those, who dare on thig point to quote the Chinese philosopher ; but, instead of sup- porting their cause, they would shake it, if it could be shaken, by their uncandid asperity; for they ought to remember, that one great end of revelation, as it is most expressly declared, was not to instruct the wise and few, but the many and unen- lightened. W the conversion, therefore, of the Pandits and HYPOCRISY. 237 The falling Sandal-Tree sheds fragrance round, Perfumes the axe that fells it to the ground ; Some through their tortured trunks a balm supply, And to give life to their destroyer — die ; And Earth's torn, mangled breast, but yields the more, And pours from deepest wounds her richest store, Maulavis in this country shall ever be attempted by protestant missionaries, they must beware of asserting, while they teach the gospel of truth, what those Pandits and Maulavis would know to he false: the former would cite the beautiful Aeryd couplet, which was written at least three centuries before our era, and which pronounces the duty of a good man, even in the moment of his destruction, to consist not only in forgiving, but even in a desire of benefiting, his destroyer, as the Sandal tree, in the instant of its overthrow, sheds perfume on the axe which fells it; and the latter would triumph in repeating the verse of Sadi who represents a return of good, for good, as a slight reel' procity, but says to the virtuous man, ' Confer benefits on him icho has injured thee,' using an Arabic sentence, and a maxim apparently of the antient Arabs. Nor would the Mussulman ^fail to recite four distichs of Hafiz, who has illustrated that maxim with fanciful but elegant allusions : " Learn from yon orient shell to love thy foe, And store with pearls the hand that brings thee woe ; Free, like yon rock, from base vindictive pride, Imblaze with gems the wrist that rends thy side : Mark, where yon tree rewards the stony showV, With fruit nectareous, or the balmy flow'r: All nature calls aloud: s Shall man do less Than heal the sroiterand the railer blegs?' " 238 .HYPOCRISY. Nor Time, nor Place, nor Planet, may control The wayward workings of the Poet's soul ; Banished from Vales, and Groves, and Italy, His * fire illumes the frozen Scythian sky ! A " Sea-boy "j* on the high and giddy mast," In hideous wreck on steep Colonna cast, Could Surges hear the Bard, that storm had slept, Palemon had not died, nor Anna wept ! But listening Greece mourned o'er that piteous tale, And thought Maeonian numbers swelled the gale. Should Melancholy, sable Queen, impart Her sacred influence to her PoeCs $ heart ; Should she direct his eyes in thought profound To heaven, or teach them still to ' love the ground?' He sings, — in notes more melting, pure, and high, Than ever Mirth can lend to minstrelsy ; That scattered sentences of the purest morality may now and then be found in the pages of the Oriental, no less than Grecian Phi'osophers, is not to be denied ; but for a complete and comprehensive System, where are we to go for any thing comparable to Christianity ? And which of the antient Teachers can produce the life of Jesus ? With some rare exceptions, such as Confucius and Socrates, the lives and the writings of the I'agunMoialists, were so much at variance, that it is neces- sary to forget the impurities of the Source, before we venture to drink of the Stream. * Ovid. f Falconer. % Gray. HYPOCRISY. 239 More sadly sweet than Attic warbler's lay, From covert pierced by Cynthia's silver ray ; Nor tones, that from yon harp aeolian flow, Are tuned so true to melody, and woe ; Tho' zephyrs wild, and winds that scorn control, Have taught those artless chords the sounds that soothe my soul. Condemned to till bleak Scotland's rugged soil, His * muse beguiles the task, and charms the toil ; The generous Youth their native carol hear, Join the blithe reel, or shed the lover's tear; The note is changed— at Bruee's stern command, They grasp the targe, they wield the highland brand. Ere Time had marred his voice, or bleached his head, Or dimmed his eye, we mourn our Bion -j* dead ! J * Bums has great inequalities, but in his happier efforts, he is inimitable. The witchery of his versification is much height- ened by the Doric simplicity of his native tongue. "f" " Ot1< Eimc TfQvax.EK o BmkoX©*, ct?z aw uvtui Kat TO (*&&• itbvcuz, Keel wXeto Au)t>l$ ctai^cc' K.a,i (3o)Ta? ifayaiv , xou atidun ivo^n/z, Kai av^iyyxt; inv^t, xai aha. upiXyz, Kai TiCt^uv iQiocuTKi tpiXa^xTcx, xect r E^ra ET£s(pjy sy xoXttoi^J, Kxi -nz-Ti Try Atpjiurnr' 240 HYPOCRISY. Mute is the Doric reed, and Melody, That Dryad Nymph, is fain with him to fly ; Ah ! what bold hand, O thrice-lamented Burns ! Thy pipe and crook unhangs? thy self-taught numbers learns 1 Ah ! could ye not, Sylphs, Fauns, and Fairies ! guard From fatal snares, your rash, your reckless Bard? Uncharm the Spell that held him pleasure-bound I And dash the cup of Circe to the ground ? Weep Muses ! o'er that ravaged, ruined mind, By you the soil of noblest fruits designed ; A Garden, fed by rich Invention's stream, And warmed by glowing Fancy's brightest beam ! Where nature had so well performed her part, That, save to wonder, nought was left for Art ; But, like the forest Boar, with headlong haste, Rushed Passion furious forth, and laid that Eden waste ! God's ! what a chaos fills th' hiatus wide, That's destined Apes from Angels to divide ; Virtues — that bear the stamp of heavenly birth, Vices— that leave their native Hell for Earth. Mixed with alloy must be the chains, that bind Terrestrial matter with ethereal mind ; Yet must both worlds be joined, to fill the plan, Their frail, yet firm connecting link — is Man. HYPOCRISY. 241 Should yon red Planet scatter from his car, As now, destruction, pestilence, and war, And shake with falling Thrones the trembling earth, A nobler influence rules a Milton's birth. The civil * blast that rends the moral sky, But lends him force on stronger wing to fly ; * Milton lived in the most turbulent times. And in the civil commotions of his day, not even a Roman would accuse him of a cowardly or selfish neutrality ; although Dr. Johnson has doneso. If he erred, it was not on the side of lukewarmness, or inactivity. His peace of mind was harrassed by domestic, no less than civil discord. Secretary to a most wily and ambitions Usurper, and engaged with Salmasius, no puny champion, in a literary war, so virulent that the one lost his eyes, and the other his life, yet could he find time to fill the various and ulmostin- compatible provinces of the Politician, Theologian, Contro- versialist, Preceptor, Grammarian, Historian, Lexicographer, and Poet ! Butler, a staunch and keen d^'ender of Royally, has a sarcastic allusion to Milton's Controversy with Salmasius, in his Satire on the abuse of Human Learning. He seems to have been of the same opinion with Dr. Johnson, who on this controversy observes, that rights of Nations, and of Kings, sink into questions of grammar, if grammarians discuss them. The lines are these, " Thus he who fought at barriers with Salmans, Engaged with nothing but his style and phrases, Waived to assert the minder of a Prince, The author of false Latin to convince ; L 1 242 HYPOCRISY. And Discord's foaming billows as they rise, Lift his proud Spirit nearer to the skies ! To Time, that mars the Monarch's sculptured name, He boldly trusts the pillars of his fame ; And calmly sees vile husks to pearls preferred, By the misjudging, gross, and sensual * herd ; But laid the merits of the cause aside, By those that understood them to be Tried ; And counted breaking Pri&cian's head, a thing More capital than to behead a King." * If we except Barrow, Marvel, Dryden, and a few other literary characters, none of Milton's cotemporaries seem to have appreciated the beauties of a Poem, which, ou its first ap- pearance, might be termed, in more senses than one, a Paradise Lost/ Of those lumps of clay kneaded up with blood,who formed the court of the second Charles, few had the taste, and fewer still the courage to admire a Poem written by the author of the Defence of the People, and of the Iconoclastes, If I remember right, Waller, an elegant rhymer, but a cameleon of the Court, thus notices* Milton's Poem, in a letter to a frieud ; M One John JSlilton, a blind School-master, hath put forth a Poem, entitled t Paradise Lost ; which, if length be any excellence, hath that to recommend, it." That Miiton himself did not calculate on contemporaneous fame, is evident, from a hope' which he expresses, of " leaving something .so written to after ages, that they should not willingly let it die." «• But this," says he, " is not to be obtained, but by devout prayer to that eternal Spirit, that can enrich with all utterance and knowledge, and sends out the Seraphim with the HYPOCRISY. 243 Above their frowns and smiles, the lofty page He forms, the wonder of each future age ! hallowed fire of his altar, to touch and purify the lips of whom he pleases." Johnson's whole account of Milton is a struggle and a conflict between his judgment and his prejudices; be- tween his own felt convictions of the Poet's merit, and his de- termination to suppress them. No reader of taste will form his opinion of Milton, on the ipse dixit of Doctor Johnson ; who, we know, styled his to be a Babylonish dialect, who was the author of those three Graces, the Comus, L' Allegro, and II Penseroso! Surely such a charge comes with a very ill grace from the mouth of him who was the author of the triplological sentences, inflated epithets, balanced periods, and many-lan- guaged prose of The Rambler ; from one who in his Diction- ary, amidst a thousand other definitions equally satisfactory, favours us with the following one, — " Network, any thing re- ticulated or decussated, with interstices, at equal distances, be- tween the intersections." Here half a dozen more dictionaries seem to be necessary, to explain the explanation ! The moat charitable thing that can be said of this dictionary is, that it is capable of very great improvement. We acted with regard to our language as the Freuch have done in their politics. We were in danger of Anarchy, therefore wc acquiesced in a bad go» vernment, rather than have none. Doctor Johnson seems to hint that thequerulous and plain- tive passages which occur in the Paradise Lost, were the off- spring of petulance ; that they were not justified by sufficient cause ; and that Milton, on the whole, had more reason to be thankful than dissatisfied. But on this subject Johnson is by no means good authority. His prejudices iu favour of Royal- ty, like those of Milton in favour of Republicanism, were vio- lent, and excessive; but unlike the prejudices of Milton, they 244 HYPOCRISY. Above bis own dull rera's fogs, elates His awful head, and Time's decision waits. were supported and strengthened by a pension. Yet he admits that Milton was •* poor and blind ;" impoverished by severe and repeated pecuniary losses ; and harrassed by civil alarms and domestic discord. That "he w*s depressed by fortune, and disarmed by nature." That he wus racked with a chroni- cal gout, so tormenting that without it even blindness would have been tolerable. Surely such a man may be allowed to com- plain, without being censured ; even if he does not give vent to bis sorrows in numbers so touching, beautiful, and harmoni- ous, that our sympathy is exceeded only by our admiration. Johnson's prejudice:- on this subject have so blinded him that be often contradicts himself; thus, he accuses Milton of being a man of " great promises, and small performances ;" and re- quests us to join with him, in laughing at one, who " hastens home, because his countrymen were contending for their liber- ties, and when he reaches the scene of action, vapours away his patriotism in a private boarding school." But in another passage, he acknowledges that this man of "great promises, and small performances," lent his personal Estate to the Par- liament, and was never repaid, — that he de/ended all that wanted defence'''' — that " he continued to kick, when he could no longer strike" — and that " what in him was wanting in health, was supplied by zeal" Nor is Johnson more consistent in his ac- count of Milton's works. He terms the Paradise Lost a Poem which with respect to design may claim the first place, and with respect to performance the second, among the produc- tions of the human mind. Before the greatness displayed in Milton's poem, all other greatness shrinks away ; when he can- not raise wonder by the sublimity of his mind, he gives delight by its fertility ; whatever be done he is always great." Yet in HYPOCRISY. 245 Thus, while as yet the Earth in darkness lies, When the first tint of purple streaks the skies, Famed Teneriffe * salutes the virgin ray, Fresh from the Sun, fair herald of the day ; the course of a few pages, we are told, that this Poet, who "whatever be done is always great," has disgraced his work by a fiction that is ludicrous ; that a Poem which when it does not "raise us by its sublimity, delights us by its fertility," is a Book which the reader " admires, lays down, and forgets to take up again;" that "None ever wished it longer than it is; 3 * that its perusal is a duty, rather than a pleasure ;" that "we read Milton for instruction, retire harassed, and overburdened, and look elsewhere for recreation ;" that " we desert our Master, and seek for companions.' 1 Were all the Doctor's criticisms conceived in the same spirit, which dictated many of his re- marks on Milton, and on Grey, we should no longer suspect the truth of that aphorism which gave him so much alarm ; name- ly "That the writer of a Dictionary may be alloived to know the meaning of any one ivord in a language, but not of two put together" * This account of Teneriffe is more than poetically true. A French Gentleman informed me he had often, on a clear morning, observed the Peak surrounded, as it were, with a lu- minous halo, while the valley from whkh he witnessed the phenomenon was still immersed in darkness. He said he had once the pleasure of beholding the sun rise, while he himself was situated on the highest point of the mountain. There are but a few months in the year, when it is safe to attempt this arduous enterprise, the mountain being subject to those sudden and overwhelming avalanches of snow, so common in the moun- tains of Savoy. A volcano terrifically deep, but of a narrow crater, was perceptible on the vertex. 246 HYPOCRISY. Views from his loftr summit, clothed with light, The vale, where linger still the shades of night. His mighty genius, with the lightning's force, All opposition shivers in its course ; ? Mid Thunders doth its giant task perform, And beams most vivid in the blackest storm. Blind, and denied the gross corporeal light, His intellectual eye but shines more bright ! Strength in disease he finds, and radiance in night ! On " evil days," though fallen, and sceptred foes, In want and woe condemned life's day to close, In age deserted, his unconquered mind Still in itself its rich reward can find. Though friends prove false, he to himself is true, Prepared alike to suffer, as to do. Kings, * in his presence, drop their haughty style, Return improved, who came but to revile ; * It has been recorded, and it is thought with truth, that James the second, when Duke of York, honoured Milton with a visit in his obscurity. It is admitted that Milton sacrificed his eyes, which were weak and inflamed, to his unremittiug ex- ertions in preparing his answer to Salmasius. The contracted and illiberal spirit of James, induced him to glance at this cir- cumstance, in his interview with Milton ; he went so far as to construe his blindness into a judgment of Providence. To an insinuation so replete wilh bigotry, and meanness, we are in- formed that the Poet made a reply as dignified and spirited, as the remark which produced it was vile and contemptible ; "Before your Royal H'ghness pursues such a principle too far, HYPOCRISY. 247 Thus clouds, that would obscure the Lord of Day, Themselves are gilded by his setting ray ! " Majestic though in ruin ! " all confess Their favourite ne'er so great— as in distress ! Men see, and feel the tirraness of the Rock, Most, when it triumphs o'er the Tempest's shock ! To form One perfect whole, in him | conspire The Painter's pencil, and the Minstrel's lyre, The wisdom of the Sage ! and Prophet's hallowed fire ! No trodden track the Bard's adventurous feet Directs, to scale proud Wisdom's highest seat ! His iron pen graves in the Dome of Fame On rock unhewn of Adamant — a name ; it were prudent to reflect tchere it will lead you ,- if I am to attribute the loss of mine eyes to any sius which I may have committed, of what crimes must he have been guilty who has lost his head? To the credit of James, it is said, that he was so struck with the magnanimity of the Poet, that he returned with a more enlightened spirit thau he came. f Cui in memoria, totus Orbis ; in intellectu, Sapientia ; in voluntate, ardor gloria? ; in ore, eloquentia; harmonico* caelestium sphaerarum souitus audienti ; characteres mirabilium naturae, Magistra. Philosophic legenti ; antiquitatum latebras, vetustatisexcidia,eruditionis ambages, exquirenti, ptrcurrenti ; llli in cujus virtutibus evulgandis, nee ora farca?, nechorninum stupor iu laudandis, sufficiant." 248 HYPOCRISY. A single name— but in itself a Host ! Great Shakespeare ! the World's * wonder, Albion's boast ! * I am aware that Shakespeare is not duly appreciated, on the continent. But I call him the wonder of the World, in the spirit of Prophecy ! " Tu Marcellus eris." If we might be allowed to hope the realization of the splendid theory of Bishop Wilkins, concerning A Universal Language, there are cir- cumstances on which to ground the presumption,that such aLan- guage would be the English. The unquestioned preeminence of our writers, on every subject, a truth admitted by the best informed, even of the French, has already made the English tongue the language of the literary world. Our naval supe- riority, so decided and brilliant, hath made it the lan- guage of Commerce, and wafted, it as it were upon the wings of the wind, to every region under heaven. Peculiar dispensa- tions of Providence, have fixed it on a rock, and conferred upon it a vigorous and youthful revivescence, by allotting it a rising and extensive Empire, in the most flourishing provinces of the Western Hemisphere. I anticipate the time when the genius of North America shall penetrate the Isthmus of Darien ; when by the powerful ascendancy of her arts and her arms, she shall subjugate unto herself the whole of the Southern Peninsula, and make the British language the vernacular tougue of the Transatlantic World. In short, if we reflect on the present situation of the habit ible parts of the Globe, if we consider what nation it is that hath peopled New Holland ; who it is that holds the keys of the Eastern and Western Indies ; and hath swept the flag of France from the Ocean; we shall acquire fresh evidence for the probability of that glorious event, the universal extension of the English Tongue ! HYPOCRISY. 249 Mirror of Universal Nature! — She More lovely seems, reflected back by thee ! Their Skies two Muses quitted at thy birth, Skies dear no more— their Shakspeare was on Earth ! Both claimed thy heart, their sole peculiar care, And both were grieved, to find the other there ; Two Rival Queens, whose mutual jealousy Exceeded all things — but their love of thee. Thalia woos in Rosalind, but fears Ophelia's beauty, heightened by her tears ! That thou mayst cease to doubt, and they to pine, By Universal Suffrage — Both are thine ! All that thou hast attempted, All approve ! Delighted still, shouldst thou conduct, we rove Where clangs the trump of war, or breathes the lute of love ! Hear frenzied Richard sleep invoke, in vain, Or see brave Harry mourn o'er Hotspur slain ; Yet hail with smiles, though rages yet the fight, The resurrection of the merry Knight ! Consistent still, destruction of her prey He cheats, and lives to laugh another* day; * In the Merry Wives of Windsor. It is well known that this play was written at the request of Queen Elizabeth, who expressed an ardent desire to see Falstaff in love. Our immor- tal Bard has contrived to gratify the wish of his Royal Mis- tress, without sacrificing the consistency of FalstafFs character, M m 250 HYPOCRISY. All own the wit that could their Prince enthral, And mixed emotions mark the curtain's fall. O wondrous grasp of mind, at once t' embrace With strength of iEschylus, Menander's grace ; With Otway's tragic pathos, to combine All Congreve's wit, and Jonson's force divine ! Thus, the same gale that bids the jocund wave In dalliance blithe, the Bark's deep bosom lave, And fans, at ease reelined, the cabin-boy, And fills the hoary helmsman's heart with joy, Now — Daemon of the Storm, its fury guides, And armed with thunder o'er th' Atlantic rides ; Yon low'ring cloud his ebon chariot makes, A nd billows for his foaming coursers takes ; Then, wide, o'erwhelming havoc spreads around, Till not the ruin of a wreck be found ! Till sink th' unconqnered Brave* and Britain weeps ! Ah then, too late, the fell Destroyer sleeps! Shakspeare knew, although Elizabeth did not, that love was a passion too refined for Falstaff to entertain. He therefore very properly exhibits the Knight, as the dupe of a mercenary and sensual appetite ; such an appetite being the nearest ap- proximation to love, compatible with so gross a mind. * I allude to the loss of the St. George, the Defence, and the Hero. It is some consolation, to have it now ascertained, that this melancholy event must be attributed to causts, which no human foresight could prevent, aud no human exertion* overcome. HYPOCRISY. 251 From that sad scene of real woes, I turn To fling a fading wreath o'er Shakspeare's urn •, Toil fond, as vain ,• the pleasure of the task The sole reward my gratitude shall ask. To roses fragrance, freshness to the spring, Flowrets to summer, fruits to autumn bring, Rays to the sun, stars to the galaxy Present — or plaudits, Heir of Fame, to thee ! Fame — that our tributary streams of praise No more augment — than rivers ocean raise. Thou know'st to please all ranks, and every age> The young, the old, the peasant and the sage ; While these are charmed, nor least who ask not why, No Critic smiles — He must his rules apply ; iVIust strive great Nature's workings to conceal, Till Aristotle gives him — leave to feel. Thy vast overwhelming theme so fills the mind, No room for him that formed it, can we find ; Dazzled by rays that from thy genius dart, We lose at once the Poet, and his art ;* * With the single exception of Homer, no Poet so com- pletely veils himself and his art behind his characters, as Shakspeare. In poetry, as in oratory, the "ars celare artein" is a high proof of talent. It was a nobler eulogium on Demos* thenes, when the Athenians left him, breathing this unanimous sentiment, " Let us go and fight against Philip" than if they had expressed th mselve9, as the mob of Rome did on Cicero, " What a fine Speech our Orator has made. 1 ' And we in like manner forget Shakespeare, while we tremble with Macbeth, 252 HYPOCRISY. Thy rich Creation, not its cause, we see, Forced to forget alike ourselves— and Thee ! Magician ! that canst work the firmest spell, And all enchant — thyself invisible ! Midst all the works of God, to nothing blind, Save the vast force of thy transcendent mind, Hopeless, as negligent * of future fame, A breath of present praise thine only aim, or weep with Qthello, or sympathize with Hamlet ; and when most: affected by the Passions he has excited, we think least of the Poet who has awakened them. * Many circumstances seem to indicate that Shakspeare was singularly unambitious of future tame. Qn his learning, much has been said. A decent knowledge of Latin may be perhaps allowed him, although as translations were even then not uncommon, and as Shakspeare was a great devourer of books, he might from that source have acquired much infor- mation. His Caesar bespeaks no mean acquaintance with the manners and customs of the antient Romans. "Nee licuit populis te parvura Nile videre" is a line which has been applied with singular felicity to Grey ; whose first productions were great. "Dum tener in cunis jaru Jove dignus erat." The reverse of this may be said of Shaks- peare, as unfortunately tradition has preserved a first attempt of his. It is a fragment of a Satire on Sir Thomas Lucy of Charlecote, from whose Park he had carried off some deer. The fragment begins thus, but it is too miserable to quote at length ; " A parliament Member, a Justice of Peace, At home a poor scare-crow, at London an Ass." Thete are the first lines, and the best t HYPOCRISY. 253 Unconscious builder ! of what must withstand The ceaseless stroke of time's oblivious hand, Great Glory's self, more * glorious still to shine, Sues that her humbler name may be allied to thine. What thou commandest, all become, who scan Thy page — that full epitome of man ; The soldier, scholar, statesman, bond or free, Peasant or prince, behold themselves in Thee ! O witchery of verse, O height of skill, As wax, to melt and mould us to thy will. From fictions high, and stores of antient lore, From Latian vale, or famed iEgaean shore, With fresh delight to Avon's bank I come, ,As to my native soil, and dearest home ; Here first my boyhood roved, through fragrant flowers, To weave an artless wreath in Shakspeare's bowers; And here, O let me, youth and manhood past, Where sprung my first enjoyments — seek my last. When freedom's foes, and faction's fouler band Shall hurl destruction o'er thy native land, When toads and snakes shall unmolested creep, Where millions met, at Garrick's voice to weep ! * Perhaps this is no hyperbole ; for as Glory herself is dis- graced, when coupled with a Mahomet, a Jenghis Khan, or a Napoleon ; so is she in some degree retrieved, by being associa- ted withaTrajau, an Antoninus, or an Alfred, 254 HYPOCRISY. When hooting owls shall fill, and bats deface That proud resort of fashion, wit and grace, When tangled weeds shall hide, and briers rude, That sacred soil by beauty's tears bedewed, Thy name, should that ill-fated day arrive, Thy name,, thy country's ruin shall survive, And on Ohio's bank in youth unladed, thrive. Amazed, the Western hemisphere shall see Her own sublimest scenes surpassed by thee ; Her snow-clad heights thy woodnotes wild shall cheer, Her vast Savannahs, and her forests drear. More far and wide than from his mountain throne Proud Chimborazzo * sees, shalt thou be known; Though torrid suns their cloudless lustre shed, And gild, with rays unfelt, his icy head ; Though storms, nor thunders shake his awful seat, And harmless lightnings flash around his feet ; While he surveys, above the tempest's roar, Two mijjhtv oceans break on either shore. Erected instant, at their Bard's command, Theatric piles shall press the Western strand ; * The highest point of the Andes, whose chain extends four thousand three hundred miles, forming the barrier of the vast pacific ocean. Whether the atlantic is discernible from the top of Cuimborazzo cau never be known, for the impassable hue of perpetual congelation commences, many thousand feet below his apex, which is one third higher than the highest mountain iu the old world. HYPOCRISY. 255 Roused by thine Orphic spell, the stones shall rise, Obedient form the Dome, and rush into the skies * All nations may be proud to bow to thee, Who hast enthralled the sons of liberty. In vain, 'twixt fame and talent, interpose Atlantic waves, or Andes' barrier snows ; Chili's dark youth, shall mourn the royal Dane, Or spurn the tyrant vanquished in the Thane ; Peruvian maids, chaste Desdemona's wrong Shall chaunt, sad Juliet's fate, Ophelia's song, And charmed Maragnon's wave the dying dirge prolong ; While heaving sighs, from sable bosoms, prove The voice of nature, boundless, as her love. Philip's dread son his useless banners furled, Sighed for fresh conquests, and another world, To thee, that world Iskaunder * asked in vain, Columbus gives, beyond th' Atlantic main ! Then still on deathless pinion soar sublime, And charm a future age, a distant clime ; Prepared the fierce extremes of melting love, Or chilling fear, of height, or depth to prove -; * As Shakspeareis not only read, but acted in many parts of North America, we may venture to give him,at the hands of Columbus, that other world* for which Alexander sighed in vain. 256 HYPOCRISY. Now stooping low to hear the shepherd's tale, Or mark the humblest flowret # of the vale ; Now tow'ring high, to drink the blaze of day, Bathed in effulgence of the solar ray ; W hile raptured mortals view, with dread delight, The solitary grandeur of thy flight. Thus, high o'er Cotopaxa's j- summit hoar, In " pride of place," the Condor dares to soar, »*' On her left breast A mole cinque-spotted, like the crimson drops 1* the bottom of a Cowslip." Cymbeline. This might have escaped all but a botanist. f This is another peak of the Andes. Exposed to the vertical rays of the sun, above the clouds, and situated nearly in the centre of the torrid zone, yet are these frozen regions covered with everlasting snows. These bleak, and dreary heights, whose silent solitude must be for ever undisturbed by the footstep* or the voice of man, are rendered vocal, only by the piercing scream of the Condor, by far the largest, and most powerful of the Eagle race. The lonely tenant of these icy craggs, he is endowed with a vigour of circulation to endure their cold, and a strength of pinion, to soar far above their summits ; yet can he dart like a thunder-bolt upon the prey, plunging from the zenith of his flight, at once in the deep and 6ultry valleys of Lima. To him, the instantaneous and violent changes of height and depth, of heat and cold, are alike indifferent ; and he can precipitate himself, as it were, in a moment, from the temperature of the Poles, to that of the Line. In those vast and luxuriant Savanuahs,which have been compared to stas of grass, HYPOCRISY. 257 He reigns, where flagging Eagles may not fly, Sole monarch of that cold and chrystal sky ; Above the sad vicissitudes of things, Departing Empires, and degraded Kings ! But should he ken the prey, or scent the slain, Down through the vast abyss he darts amain, To shade with cow'ring wing parched Lima's sultry plain ! and under the cloudless canopy of a Peruvian sky, no living object shall be discernible throughout the whole horizon. Yet, the Buccaneer shall have scarcely stripped the ham-stringed Buffalo of his hide, before the Condor shall be seen hovering over him, and covering him with his wings; allured to the prey, from heights beyond the ken of human vision. The anatomy of this wonderful bird must be for many reasons extremely cu- rious. It would open to us another page in the book of Nature; that comprehensive and exhaustless volume, every line and letter of which addresses itself to all our senses, and consoles us with one interesting, joyful, and all pervading truth. A truth, the full and adequate expression of which, can only be found in the volume of Revelation, that other monument of God's wisdom and benevolence. That sacred page re-echoes back the voice of nature, when it declares that " Great and Glorious art Tiy Works, end in Wisdom hast Thou made them all .'" END OF THE FIRST BOOK. Wn APPENBIX $G. TO THE FIRST BOOK. JlTwas my intention to hayemade some farther observations on the title of this Poem, in the first note. But as the half sheet containing it went to press during my absence from Tiverton, it is, in my own opinion, more imperfect than any other part of the Poem ; and I have to lament some insertions, and some omissions. The anecdote, for instance, of Dr. Johnson ought to have appeared, not in the poetry, but, (if any where) in the note. Alas ! " Quid mc dempta jurat spinis de pluribus una ? " On my return, the whole impression of the first half sheet was taken off; so that I had only time to regret, what it was too late to remedy. What I meant to have said on the subject of my Title, I shall offer here. Candid Judges will not pronounce theTitle to have been ill chosen, until they have seen the whole of the Work. At present, the first Book only is before them. They will, also, admit the difficulty of writing a long Poem on any one particular vice, without some digressions ; these, most readers will pardon, should they be found to rise not un- naturally out of the subject; « ex re nata." My Jirst Book is very near three thousand lines; quite enough, if good for any 260 APPENDIX. thing ; a great deal too much— if good for nothing. Therefore, I must request my readers to suspend their sentence on the in- congruity of the Title, until the whole Work is before them. They may then, if they think proper, re-christen it what they please. It was my fixed determination to give the Poem a single title. And I must presume that no one term can be found in the language, to suit the general tenor of the work so well as HYPOCRISY. There may be parts to which that term does not quite apply. — When we see a likeness, we ex- claim, *that is the portrait of such a man ;' and it is not the less so, because the picture may have trees and cattle in it. Even panegyric has been considered, by some, as a digression, in a satirical poem ; however, it is a digression in which all the Sa- tinets have indulged, and to me, it has proved the most grateful part of my task. Nor should it be forgotten, that the praise of the good, is often the severest, always the safest, censure on the bad. It also enables the Poet to heighten k the effect, by a contrast, as necessary to the painting of the pen, as light and shade to that of the pencil. Egotism I think as unpleasant to the writer, as tiresome to the reader. Nevertheless 1 shall offer a few remarks on my- self, which will not be wholly unacceptable, if what I have al- ready written has excited any interest iu my readers ; if it has not, it matters little what I write. In the first place, it would have been more prudent in me to have con cealed my name — because no one is sufficiently perfect to take upon himself the avowed office of a Censor — because young men, and young au- thors, in particular, ought to be very careful not to make ene- mies ; in as much as fame is an empty breath, but revenge an ac, ice principle , and because nothing is so strdng,but that which is weak may injure it. Pope himself never ventured on satire, until he had established his fortune and his fame. And Juve- nal, the Sam} sou of his tribe, biubhed not to own his appre- hensions from the power of Nero; APPENDIX. 2Cl «* Pone TigcUhmm, tcedd lucebis in Hid Qud stantes ardent, qui fix gutturefumant." And from this motive, in his very outset, heannouaces his in- tention of deposing the vices principally of those whose bodies the Earth had covered. *' Quorum Flaminid tegitur Cinis, atque Latind" Concealment also enables an author, either to escape.the hiss* es, or eventually to come forward, to receive the plaudits of his audience, Moreover on the principle of " ignotum pro rnagni- fico," a degree of mysterious, nay awful importance is at*ach- ed to a spirited publication, whose author is unknown. Busjr conjecture has ample scope allowed her ; the sleepless eye of suspicion glances around ; — — »"2Vcc conspicit usquam Auctorem." Could Belshazzar be cited to appear, he would confess that the hand which wrote upon the wall, derived its most appall* ing terrors from its want of a body. I have watched the pro- gress of one or two anonymous works, which it appeared after* wards were written by obscure individuals. I have heard them ascribed to someone having authority ; and have been told in a whisper that they proceeded from one as formidable from his power, aa respectable from his rank ; qualified for his higk office by native genius, and acquired erudition ; well kerned in years, ripe in judgement, and rich in experience, that fruit of slowest growth, and costliest cultivation. The very obscurity which enshrouds an anonymous work, awakens our attention ; because it increases the difficulty of fully discoveiing that very object which it magnifies. The sun appears larger through a mist, and the shadow is usually greater than the substance. If I am not deceived, the "Magni nominis Umbra" contributed more to the popularity of Junius, than the name of any individual, however esteemed, of a Fox, or a Chatham. Perhaps few things have issued from the Press, which excited at the time, a greater sensation than the notes 20*2 APPENDIX. to the Pursuits of "Literature. To so respectable a reception tbey were fully entitled, both from their matter and their style, of which it could not be said ** matericm super abat opus" But their imposing solemnity excited less attention, and their authoritative egotism more disgust, the moment the author was known* The last advantage 1 shall enumerate, though not the least, is this ; Even witling Scribblers, pedantic Coxcombs, and disappointed Poetasters, a formidable Phalanx, can bear to praise an anonymous publication ; because Mr. Any-body is Mr. Nobody, and he happens to be the only gentleman whom brother-authors will admit to be as wise as themselves. Under the above circumstances, and many more, which the Critics, who fully appreciate the blessings of sleeping in a sound skin, might inform us of, the question unavoidably obtrudes itself.— How came I to pursue a contrary course ? I have a short an- swer — In despite of all these prudent considerations I have affixed my name, " Adsum qui feci" because for every thing anonymous, except Charity, / have a rooted contempt, and in* super able aversion. Of what is before them, the public will judge :— '* Fugit irrevocabile verbum." On what is to fotlow, they are not so competent to decide. I have promised two more books ; they are already in a state of forwaidness, and my port-folio reports progress. The main subject will be more closely followed up than in the first book. But in what manner I have treated it, and in what points of view I have considered it, it is quite impossible for any one to predict. Suffice it to say, that Hypocrisy is not confined to the church. It is a copious subject, a fruitful theme ; a tree of tallest growth, whose ambitious head aspires even uuto Heaven ;of deepest root, whose ramifications penetrate through the most secret caverns of the earth, even unto Tartarus ; She extends her branches over seas and over continents ; and with their broad and ample foliage she overshadows the nations. APPENDIX.. 263 Hypocrisy is indeed a subject which can only fail with the generation of men ; and this enables me to say— " Quicquid agunt homines, nostri farrago libelli." Of the two books that are forth coming, I shall premise ojae thing. It is my fixed and settled determination neither per- sonally, nor allusively, by remote inference, or direct applica- tion, to attack the character, or wound the feelings of any one living being whatever. Motives very different from fear, have operated with me, in forming this resolution. The iriere Braggadocio may succeed in bullying half the world ; but the. other half will as certainly bully him. Even in my first book, where I have not been quite so scrupulous, it is known to one or two, that I have rejected what some might think the best passages of the Satire. If I have made this sacrifice to fear, then I exhibit a contradictory union of what, perhaps, never was united— Cowardice and Temerity ; since enough is already inserted to insure me the anathemas of booksellers, critics, poetasters, and politicians. But every reader of taste and can- dour, (and such alone am I ambitious to please) will listen more attentively to the still small voice within his own breast, than to the hue and cry from without. ** Hcec novimus esse nihil" It may be that I have not sprinkled my pages sufficiently with Cayenne, to keep the worm out of them. I care not for that. Sugar will preserve, as well as salt ; and I shall ever deem it a more grateful task to praise an honest Man, than tolasha knave. In my historical allusions I hope I shall not be compared to those who had rather say a witty thing, than a true one. "Qui modo ahquid argute vel acute dicere videantur, plerumqne ve- rumne sit, an falsum, propemodutn non curant." To the wit I do not pretend, and I would wish not to incur the falsnood. Whenever I have dissected the dead, I have dcrie it, as the Anatomist, for thebeneft of the living. My library indeedis not copious, and my books of reference far from numerous; neither 464 APPENDIX. are the streets of the town where I reside thronged with walk- ing Lexicons. Not that we are always to expect the greatest learning from those who possess the greatest libraries. It was well said of Hobbes, ** Ingentem librortim supellectilem qua su- per blunt Bibliotheea nan rnagni fecit ; auctores versabat pan- cos, sed tamen opiimos" It is not unusual in conversation, to say. " I should never have suspected Mr. Such-a-one of wri- ting that Book ; he appears never to study/' Such persons forget that reflection, thought, and contemplation form the very essence of study ; and that these may be exercised in the fields, better than in libraries. Some authors are praised by every body, and read by nobody ; and it is with books, as with companions, the best knowledge is that which teaches us which to avoid ; and in both cases much valuable time is lost, before we discover that it has been thrown away upon those who are worse than useless. I would give the devourers of books, the Helluones libro- rum, some such advice as this: — cease to read, begin to think; shut your eyes, open your understandings ; quityuur libraries, retire into yourselves ; let repletion end, that di- gestion may begin. " Claudite jam rivos, sat prata biberunl" Perhaps no one thing so completely hebetates the powers of the understanding, as constant reading without reflection. Suck have been well described by Milton, to be. " Deep read in books, but shallow in themselves." A great Scholar who prided himself on his ignorance of Meu t% and vast knowledge of books, once received, from a plain un- lettered man, this humiliating rebuke : " The Lord double your learning, and then you will be twice the foot you are at present /" ADBJENBA, ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ANECDOTES TO THE PRECEDING PARTS OF THE POEM ILLUSTRATIVE and EXPLANATORY. Page 7. — ic Words are the jickle daughters of the Earthy NOTHING is more common than fine words, and nothing more scarce than fine conceptions. Great capitalists in ivords, but mere bankrupts in ideas, modern Poetasters do not seem to understand that all eloquence resides far less in the ex- pression, than in the thought. Many of Shakspeare's finest passages are monosyllabic. While no poet better understood the superiority of the moral sublime to the natural, or knew better how to increase the effect of each by joining them to- gether ; yet, when he most astonishes us by the awful sublimity of the thought, then it is that ha often charms us most by the ar;less simplicity of the expression. Let him who would fully understand the difficulty of writing like Shakspeare, attempt to imitate him, *' Speret idem, sudet mulium, frustraque laboret, Ausus idem." I n confirmation of what has been advanced above, it this mo- 266 APPENDIX. uient strikes me, that the confessedly sublimest passage in the whole Bible, is composed of monosyllables throughout, " God said, Let there be light, and there was light." The style of Milton is usually much more laboured than that of Shakspeare, but no reader of taste will think that sesqui- pedalian verbiage, or phraseological pomp, could add to the grandeur of such conceptions as these, » " Where peace And rest can never dwell, hope never comes, That comes to all." " The mind is its own place, and of itself Can make a heavn of hell, a hell of heavn." " His trust was, with th* Eternal to be deenCd Equal in Strength, and rather than be less, Card not to be at all; with that care lost Went all his fear : of God, or hell, or worse He reck' d not." • '• Which God by curse Created evil,— for evil only Where all life dies, death lives" Passages as little indebted as these to splendor of diction, for their sublimity, occur frequently in Milton. Page 8. — " Brings Constable's piled quartos in her hold." Miss Seward's Letters are far more interesting, and do her much more credit thau her Poetry. It was her good fortune to move in a very exalted sphere, and, (if measured by the only proper standard, mind) to enjoy the noblest society. From a correspondent so circumstanced, the merest diary could not be dull ; the matter must impart some animation to the style. Nor could the task be difficult, as it seems to require little more than to see, hear, and remember. But Miss Seward may aspire to much higher praise ; she was evidently gifted with talent to profit by the enviable advantages she enjoyed, no less than APPENDIX. 267 taste duly to appreciate them. She is not so much a recorder, as an actor in the scene ; the equal, and the friend of wits, not the dependent retailer of their witticisms ; a Gem, that could reflect the flashes by which she was illuminated. Page 10. — "With the free spirit of a youthful Knight." I have heard that the Jailor of the Temple in Paris had formed so high an opinion of English honor and courage, as he saw them embodied in the person of his prisoner, that he has declared that if Sir Sidney knew that he was to be executed at one, and had requested permission to walk unattended through the streets of Paris at tioe/ve, he should have granted the re- quest, on receiving Sir Sidney's bare word that he would re- turn. One chief merit of the stratagem by which Sir Sydney escaped was, that while it liberated his body, it secured his honour. Poor Phillippeaux, the heroic friend and deliverer of Sir Sidney, died from fatigue, in the campaign of Egypt. Amidst the cold and calculating selfishness of modern times, an instance of such chivalrous and disinterested attachment, refreshes us like an Oasis in the desert. An attempt of a similar nature was lately made by two young Americans, equal to the one to which I have alluded in its heroism, but not in its success. Having a very slight and re- mote acquaintance with Fayette, but deeply impressed with an esteem for his character, they determined to undertake his liberation from his horrid imprisonment at Olrautz. Their fortunes and their lives became a secondary considera- tion. They took lodgings near his prison, and gradually in- sinuated themselves irto the good graces of the Keeper. A few cursory questions concerning the prisoners naturally introduced the name of Fayette. They commisserated his hard fate, and found that the Keeper sympathized with them. In the course of conversation, they discovered that Monsieur F. was per- mitted to walk at stated hours on the ramparts, guarded «by a. 268 APPENDIX. soldier. They then ventured to observe that they had a few books which were at the service of the prisoner, to beguile the tedious hours of confinement, and were delighted to hear that the Jailor had no objection to indulge him with the perusal of them, in ca6e the volumes were previously submitted to hi» inspection. By underscoring with a pencil such single words in different pages, as expressed the ideas they wished to commu- nicate, and by a marginal hint to join them in the order in which they were underscored, a correspondence, unsuspected by the Jailor, was soon established ; to keep up which, nothing more was necessary, than the exchange of a few volumes. To be brief— Fayette, at the appointed time, breaks from his guards, and throws himself into the arms of his friends, who are waiting on the skirts of the forest with horses ; only a few leagues are to be passed, and they are out of the power of Austria. But the sword in the belt of one of his De- liverers, struck the head of his horse,in theact of mounting, and he broke from those who held him. A noble rivalry now suc- ceeded, which of them should be left behind? The point is settled by one of them taking up Fayette behind him. Much time is lost, the Tocsin sounds the alarm — the whole Country is in arms — two roads present themselves— they hesitate, but decide upon the wrong—they are taken. It was with the greatest difficulty that the Austrian Government could be convinced that a scheme so daring, could be digested and at- tempted by two private and disinterested individuals. When this was fully made out, they were suffered, after a severe and tedious confinement, to depart with their lives. During the long and very rigorous confinement of Mons. F, his liberation was the subject of more than one motion m parliament. The interference of our government was al- ways sternly objected to by Mr. Pitt. This strengthens an anecdote I have heard of the King;. To a Nobleman, who la- mented tlje sufferings of Fayette, in his Majesty's presence, APPENDIX. 069 not without a hope of gaining so powerful a solicitor in his be- half, our Sovereign made use of these remarkable words — " Remember Andre ;"-— a short sentence, but pregnant with meaning. His Majesty was ever remarkable for an excellent memory ; and amidst all the sufferings of Fayette, there are some things in his character, which would almost justify the application of those lines of Ovid, " Neque lex estjustior nil a, Quam necis artifices arteperire sud." Page 14. — " Nor can 1 Darzoin tinsel o'er my rhymes." The "flimsy, gauzy, gossamery lines, and sweet tentandryan monogynian strains''' of Dr. Darwin have received a sufficient castigation from the author of the Pursuits of Literature. But the Doctor does not seem to have profited much by criticism. His last Poem, " The Teniple of Nature," prepared for the Press before his death, but published after it, abounds with all the meretricious ornaments, turgid diction, puerile personifica- tions, loose analogies, and uwdidactie philosophy, which dis- tinguish The Botanic Garden. With the single excepdon of Lucretius, no Poet has so often incurred the charge of <5 o6- scurum per obscurius." To explain the connection between unorganized matter and intelligent existence, is a problem as yet unsolved. Those who have sought for its solution in vain, in the groves of Academus, the Portico, or the Lycceum, are not likely to find it in the Rhymes of Dr. Darwin ; unless in- deed they are satisfied with such explanations as these ; " Next the long nerves unite their silver train, And young Sensation! permeates the brain, Through each new sense the keen E notions dart. Flush the young cheek, and swell the throbbing heart. From pain and pleasure quick Volitions rise, Lift the strong arm, or point th' enquiring eyes ; With Reasons light bewildered Man direct, And right and wrong with balance nice detect ; 2 70 APPENDIX. Last in thick swarms Associations spring, Thoughts join to Thoughts, to Motions Motions cling, Whence in long train of Catenation flow, Imagined joy, and voluntary woe*" " Ohe jam satis" The Doctor appears to have been (like some other Doctors)[ a martyr to his own Theory, which I sus- pect was this, '• Segnius irritant oculos demissa per aures, Quam qua: sunt oculis suhjecta Jidelibus ; *' for in the Botanic Garden, in a kind of note, he condescends to inform his Bookseller that the words expressive of the ideas belonging to Vision, make up the principal part of poetical language. In due conformity with this system, he accuses Pope of having written a bad line in his Windsor Forest ; " And Kennel swift for silver Eels renowned" ** The word renowned," observes the Doctor, " does not pre- sent the idea of a visible object to the mind, and is therefore prosaic, but change the line thus— " And Kennet swift where silver graylings play," And it becomes poetry, because the scenery is then brought before the eye." Any reader of taste, will perceive how often the Doctor has failed, by pushing this theory too far, and in how many instances he has been misled by these optical de- lusions. Page 23. — " Thus Cossacks when the Turk their furij Jled" Dr. Clarke has drawn a true and dreadful picture of the subju- gation of the Crimea by the Russians ; " At Caffa, during the time we remained, the soldiers were allowed to overthrow the beautiful Mosques, or to convert them into Magazines, to pull down the Minarets, tear up the public Fountains, and to de- stioy all the public Aqueducts, for the sake of a small quanti- ty of lead, which they were thereby enabled to obtain. Such is the true nature of Itussian protection ; such the sort of alli- ance which Ltuksiansendeavour to form with every nation weak enough to become their dupe. While these works of destruc- APPENDIX 271 tion were going on, the Officers were amusing themselves in be- holding the mischief. Tall and stately Minarets, whose lofty spires added such grace and dignity to the town, were daily levelled with the ground ; which besides their connexion with religious establishments, for whose maintenance the integrity of the Russian Empire had been pledged, were of no other value than to supply a few Soldiers with bullets, or their officers with a dram. I was in a Turkish Coffee-House at Caffa, when the principle Minaret, one of theantient and characteristic monu- ments of the country, to which the Russians hud been em- ployed in fixing blocks and ropes, came down with such vio- lence that its fall shook every house in the place. The Turks seated on divans, were all smoaking, and when chat is the case an earthquake will scarcely rouse them. Nevertheless at this flagrant act of impiety and dishonour, they rose, breathing out deep and bitter curses against the enemies of their Prophet.'* There are very few books of travels from which I have derived so much iustruction and entertainment, as from this work of Or. Clarke. His narrative perfectly corresponds with an ac- count of that unwieldy Empire, rotten before it ripens, which I received from a gentleman now resilient in Petersburg!!, who is fully qualified to write a supplement to Dr. Clarke's book, were it adviseable for any man to draw a faithful picture of the Russians, who is condemned to live amongst them. One knows not which to pity most, the brutal sensuality and galling tyranny of a mean and sycophantic aristocracy ; or the degraded vassal- age, and abject penury of a peasantry doomed to subdue the iron soil, and to combat with the climate of Russia, in order to raise that harvest of which they dare not participate, and which is immediately dispatched to pamper the bloated pride, and support the filthy magnificence of Moscow and Petersburg!). " O Imitatores servum pecas, ,y is a remark strongly exem- plified in the lower' order of the Russians. It would appear that in % the powers of imitation, they excel even the Chinese. 27& APPENDIX. «* Imitation," says Dr. Clarke," is the very acme of the Russian intellect. The meanest Russian slave has been found adequate to the accomplishment of the most intricate and most delicate works of mechanism ; to copy with his single hand, what has de- manded the joint labours k of the best workmen in France or England." With superior powers of imitation, it is presumed the Russians unite more ingenuity than the Chinese. A Chinese will make the model of a watch so minutely that its owner shall perceive no difference between the copy and the original, except that the former will not go. I have heard that an English factor at Canton, employed a Chinese Taylor to make him a nankeen jacket, and lent him his old one for a pattern. It fitted him to a nicety, but wherever there was a patch on the old jacket, a similar one appeared on the new. — It would appear from Dr. Clarke's narrative that the Cossacks are in every point of view far superior to the Russians. Page 32." That Beam which Luther hailed, and Leo feared." As the intrepid and resistless advocate of the right of pri- vate judgement in matters of faith, as the victorious Comba- tant of Papal Tyranny, the Disperser of mental darkness, and stern Contemner of all temporal honours and worldly distinc- tions, where are we to search for an individual so fully entitled to the admiration and the gratitude of posterity, as Martin Lu- ther ? These were the sterling qualities in his character which the fire of persecution could not have rendered more pure, and which it could never have consumed. But when we view him as the Founder of a Church, and the Head of a Sect, I fear we must exclaim, ** Huw is the Gold become dim, and the fine Gold changed f So much more injurious to ourselves doe* power often prove, in our own hands, than in the hands of others. There is too much reason to believe that the doctrine of the real presence, and of justification by faith alone, were APPENDIX. 273 tenets, to support which Luther scrupled not to employ the fleshly arm of civil power and temporal authority. These he was inclined to resort to against those whose private judgments, his scriptural erudition, deep and extensive as it was, could not convince, nor his eloquence persuade. The first part of Lu- ther's character I have attempted to eulogize, in a subsequent passage of this poem. Luther's harsh conduct to Carlcstadt, and Calvin's unrelenting cruelty to Servetus, are strong proofs, if such icere note wanting, that we may have some charity for those who differ from us altogether, but none for those who agree with us in some points, but presume to dissent from us in others. The absurd reveries of Luther concerning the Devil, claim a most conspicuous place amongst the "fears of the brave, and follies of the tvise." Mr. Coleridge has given us a very interesting and curious solution ot this subject. It seems he saw the very stain from the inkstand hurled at the head of his satanic majesty, having been admitted into the very room in which — " The Devil appeared to Martin Luther in Germany, for certain, And would have gulled him ivith a trick, But Martin was too politick ." The rays of Luther's geiiius } like some other rays, had their aberrations; thus he informs us that he had an acquaintance with the Devil by no means slight or superficial; having eaten " more than a bushel of salt with him." " Ego Diabolum intus et in cute novi, quippe quocum plus uno Salis modio co- mederim," " Diabolus, multo frequent ius et proprius mihi in lecto accubare solet, seu condormit, quam mea i-aiharina.'" He. farther informs us that Lis satanic majesty is a most keen ar;d subtle disputant, whom no man can accuse of dtlay or pro- fixity. " Uno moment o,' f says he, " qucestio et rezponsio ab- solviiur." Jn one moment the question and the answer is dis- patched. This puts it beyond a doubt that the Devil does not Qq 274 APPENDIX. preside in the Court of Chancery, as some have supposed. The mostantient caiicatuie I have heard of, is that which originally belonged to the Queen of Navarre. It is of Tapestry, and re- represents Luther and Calvin in the act of administering a Cathartic to the Pope, but not of the most lenitive kind, nor in the most delicate manner. This operation puts his Infal- lible Holiness in great commotion, and obliges him to eva- cuate abundance of Kingdoms and Sovereignties, such as Denmark, Sweden, the Duchy of Saxony, etc.— Wickliffe, John Huss, and others, are represented in the back ground, as having failed in a similar attempt. They undertook to cure the disease, before the Crisis. Even Luther's eloquence and intrepidity might have failed, if many circumstances had not conspired in his favour, of which the opportune discovery ef printing was not the least. It has been shrewdly said that in- terest brought about the reformation in Germany, Lust in Eng- land, and Novelty in France. In Germany the needy and im- poverished Nobles found a treasonable supply in the wealth of the Monasteries which they pillaged, and the estates of the Abbeys which they appropriated to themselves. We find from Luther, that this ill-gotten wealth did not prosper; and he applies to the sacrilegious rapacity of the Nobles, the fable of the Eagle, who stealing from the altar of Jove a sacrifice which was placed upon it, took up with ita burning coal, which filed the nest, and destroyed the young ones. It fared no better with the unhallowed wealth of Henry the eighth. The blessing of God (says Spelman, gravely !) was not upon it. Be that as it may, within five years after Henry had sacked all the Monaste- ries in the K'u gclom, with all their treasures, and princely pos- sessions, he was absolutely distressed for money to build a few Block-houses for th* defence of the Coast. The libraries of these religious establishments were scarcely more respected than if they had been in the hands of Turks or Vandals. One merchant bought the contents of two noble libraries, for forty APPENDIX. 275 shillings apiece ; their Volumes he applied for the space of more than ten years, instead of grey paper, to wrap up his goods. But to return to Luther ; Protestants who condemn his iolent and unbending temper, should consider the com- plexion of the times, and the power of his adversaries. If we wish to cut Iron, we must make use of Steel ; and the peculiar difficulties of his situation, required a mind case-hardened, as it were, and tempered to overcome them. Tint age required a Reformer composed of sterner stuff than Erasmus, or Me- lancthon ; the latter of whom, when Luther boxed his ears, was wont to retaliate, only with a complimentary hexameter, " Rege animum Luthere tuum, cui ccetera parent." Page 32.~ a Thj/ hapless storj/, murdered, martyred Wright.'''' Time, the great discoverer of the secrets and the crimes of Tyrants ; Time, that neither flatters norjears, may one day remove the veil of mystery which at present conceals the fate of this gallant man. I shall relate two stories, ol which I am reminded by this melancholy subject ; I shall give them just as I heard them ; I have great reason to think them true, and, as when connected they throw a glimmering light on a very dark affair, I shall make no apology for their insertion. An English gentleman, who has been resident for many years in a very respectable situation at Petersburg!), who has married a Russian Lady, and who now resides in that Capital, told me as follows. — Some little time before thecondemnation, or rather judicial assassination of Palm the Bookseller at Nuremberg, a French Gentleman suddenly arrived at Petersburgh. It was observed that he maae anxious enquiries if there was any vessel in the Neva, about to sail for England ; and that he heard with visible marks of consternation, that it was probable many days would elapse, before a vessel bound for England would sad. Before that event took place, this Gentleman disappeared, in as sudden a manner as he had arrived. It was confidently re- 276 APPEKD1X. ported at Perersburgh that the French Government had got possession of his person, and that he was reconducted, under a strong escort, to Paris. He has not since been heard of. The account he gave of himself to one or two confidential persons in Petersburgh was this. He said he was a Notary public at Paris ; that he was walking home one evening, when the waiter of a certain Ho' el begged him instantly to attend one of his Guests, who was at the point of death. He followed, and was ushered into a room where sat a Gentleman in the greatest ap- parent agony of mind and body ; who, after the waiter had retired, thus addressed him — pointing to a bHg of money on the table — " That" said he *' is jours, it is the price of blood; but transcribe faithfully what I shall relate to you, and make it public the moment you are out of the power of France. I am a Physician, and I received yesterday, an order (signed Talleyrand) to repair immediately to the Prison of the Tem- ple. I obeyed — I was then conducted into one of the dun- geons of that prison, to superintend the infliction of torture on one of the Prisoners. I have neither strength nor time to detail the particulars of that horrid sight ; suffice it to say, that the Prisoner bore his sufferings with the most unshaken fortitude. He twice began to speak, when I was immediately hurried in- to another apartment. It appeared that his communications were not satisfactory, as I was reconducted into the dungeon, and the tortores were resumed. Twice I interfered, and an- nounced to them that the sufferer could bear no more ; the second time I was attended to, and the torture was suspended. I took a slight refreshment, received a hint to be silent, and was ordered to attend again to-day, precisely at the same hour. This day the Prisoner was, if possible, more firm ; not a word escaped his lips ; and notwithstanding my remonstrances, the torture was carried to such a length that I suspect the Prisoner has not long to live. I am convinced from his air, manner, and appearance, that the Prisoner teas an Englishman, After this, APPENDIX. 277 the Sum of money on the table was put into my hands, and I was interrogate! closely if the transactions of yesterday had been suffered to escape my lips. I partook of some refreshment again in the refectory, and in less than one hour afterwards, I felt that / had taken poison.''* Here the Physician's strength and voice began to fail him ; and he expired in the course of the night. But the Notary continued his narration, by adding that he by no means found himself at ease in the possession of so dangerous a secret ; and that his fears were not diminished by discovering that the Police Officers had been at his house, and that it was known that he had attended on the last moments of the Physician. On this, he fled to Nuremberg, and com- municated the whole affair to Palm. Not thinking himself safe at Nuremberg, after the commencement of the prosecution of Palm, he fled to the Capital of Puissia, intending as soon as possible to sail for England. Unfortunately the last part of his plan he was not able to carry iuto execution. There is every reason to believe the poor Notary was shortly afterwards obliged to perform a much longer journey. This circumstance will account for the seizure of Palm's papers, and also for the precipitancy with which his trial and execution were conducted. To the best of my recollection, the death of Captain Wright was announced to the world about the time of Palm's execution. But a correspondence of dates is not of prime importance on this occasion, because it is ever in the power of Tyrants to assign what date they please to the death of their Prisoners. What follows will corroborate what has been advanced above, and I have reason to think there is no doubt of its truth. Whea Captain Wright wis taken prisoner, two young English Gen- tlemen were taken with him ; one of them was a Mr. Manse!, a son of the present Bishop of Bristol. These two Gentlemen were confined for a long period together in the same apartment of the Prison, but a room immediately over them, and insulated 278 APPENDIX. from theirs was allotted to Captain Wright. However, with great difficulty, a small perforation through the solid flooring was effected ; by means of which, a conversation might at times be carried on, between Captain Wright, and his two com- panions in captivity. Captain W. had always used the language of hope and con- solation ; but one morning he informed them that he now per- ceived that he was in the hands of a merciless enemy ; that the severest tortures had already been inflicted on him ; and that he was in hourly expectation of death. '* But," continued he, "one thing I must caution you never to believe of me, and if you return to England, peremptorily to deny. You will shortly be informed that I have destroyed myself. If I know any thing of my own heart, I think I have sufficient fortitude to bear my sufferings, aided by that firm dependance on God, which will render such a crime, under any circumstances, and I dread the worst, impossible." Soon after this conversation, it happened as he had foretold. Mr. Manstl and his companion were informed by the Jailor, that their Captain had put a period to his existence. After this event, they were immediately removed to the fortress of Va- lenciennes. From that place these two young Gentlemen attempted their escape ; the enterprise was conducted with singular talent and intrepidity, and was crowned with the suc- cess it deserved. Some time after the battle of Trafalgar, Sir Sidney Smith passed through this town on his way to Plymouth. He was introduced, during his short stay here, to an officer of high rank in the French service. This officer was on the eve of being exchanged ; and in daily expectation of his passport. I 6hall omit his name for obvious reasons ; but he faithfully pro- mised Sir Sidney that he would use every method consistent with his own honour and safety, to acquaint him with the par- ticulars of the death of his highly esteemed and lamented friend and former fellow prisoner Captain Wright. APPENDIX. 279 Page 55.--" Speeches that Cobbett begged in tain to quote.'" Mr. Cobbett thus observes on the freedom of the Press. — " To call it liberty of the Press to be able with safety to publish a Spelling-book, or a Psalter, or the Story of Goody two- Shoes, merely because they are printed by the same sort of machine as the censure upon the conduct of a public man is printed, is as stupid as it would be to insist that oat-meal is the same thing as wheat-meal, because both have been ground in the same mill." This is well ; — but this periodical writer, who relates facts with boldness, and comments on them with sound sense, has not, I think, expressed himself with his usual accuracy, in his defini- tion of Liberty. " Liberty, actively speaking" says he, lt means the right or power of doing with safety to yourself, that which is naturally disagreeable, or contrary to the interests of another, be that other ivho he may. Turn it as often as you please, this is the true definition of Liberty in the active sense oftheivord." Is this liberty ? To me it sounds more like licentiousness. Since 1 must conceive that two absurd consequences might be de- duced from the above definition. First, that of all men in exist- ence, Tyrants are the greatest lovers of liberty ; and secondly, that a triumphant and lawless banditti, are ihe freest men in the icorld. 1 would rather substitute some such a definition as this; " Civil liberty is the omnipotence of such laws as are framed by a full and fair majority." But it may be objected that an absurd inference might be drawn from this definition also, of civil libeity ; for it might happen that a majority of the people might consent to pass a law to extinguish the freedom of the Press. Would this be as consistent with civil liberty, as with the above definition of it ? To this I reply, The case is possi- ble, but not very probable, except in a society of Hottentots. But even such a law, if enacted by a fair majority, would not be destructive of the civil liberty of the framers of it ; because ir. i* self-evident that all men are free, who are governed by those 280 APPENDIX. laws only which they have volvntarily imposed upon them- selves ; and it is as clear that they cease to be free, only when Tyrants or Demagogues, single or united, foreign or domestic, begin to govern them by laws which have had neither the ap- probation nor the concurrence of the governed. The Public are much indebted to Lord Folkstone for the able manner in which he introduced his motion on the Ex Officio Informations of the Attorney General. Those who re- collect the very important enquiry which occupied the attention of the House, at the time alluded to, will not be at a loss to account for the very uuusual number of Ex Officio Informa- tions, suspended over the heads of Newspaper Editors, at that particular moment ; and they will be still less surprized at the invincible taciturnity of the Attorney General, and the marked reluctance he displayed to assign the true cause of that amazing increase in the number of such Informations, which induced Lord Folkstone to bring forward that motion in Parliament. With respect to the law of libel, I shall just observe, that if Lord Mansfield had carried his point of making the Jury triers only of the fact of writing, or of publishing, and of constituting the Court the sole Judge of the criminality of the libel, there would not have existed from that moment a free press in Europe. The Jury are now empowered to decide on both points, as reason and equity demand ; and not on the first only, as op- pression and Lord Mansfield advised. For this important victory over the secret enemies of our liberties at home, more important to Englishmen than ten victories over their open enemies in the field, we may thank the resistless Eloquence of Lord Erskine. His success ou this occasion forms the bright- est part of his political career. " Melioribns olim Auspiciis" See the trial of the Dean of St.. Asaph. APPENDIX. 981 Page 56.--" When crack-brained Authors load the groaning Press." An Author whose wit is like the edge of a scythe, coarse but keen, compares Plagiarists to those Hogs in Westphalia, who thrive on each others excrements. It was a conjecture of Sir Isaac Newton, that if primordial atoms could be brought into absolute contact, all the solid matter in the world might be compressed into the space of a nutshell. Something like what that Philosopher remarked of matter, might be affirmed of mind. If Authors were restricted in their writings to genuine thoughts and original ideas , there would not exist such an evil as a folio, or a quarto in the world. These ponderous Tomes would contract their size, as suddenly as Milton's Devils in Pandemonium ; " Behold a wonder ! They but novo who seemed In bigness to surpass Earth's Giant Sons, Now, less than smallest Dwarfs, in narrow room Throng numberless. 1 * $hakspeare would suffer less than any other Author by such an experiment; he might stand a chance of preserving "his awn dimensions, like himself" unhurt amid the war of elements, the wreck of paper, and the crush of boards /—About the middle of the sixth century, Amri, a Saracen General, ordered all the Books in the Alexandrian Library to be destroyed. Amri had applied to the Calif Omar for directions how to act on this occasion. He replied in the true spirit of Mahommedan Or* thodoxy, " If the Books you mention contain any thing con- trary to the Koran, they are pernicious; if they contain nothing contrary to it, they are superfluous.''^ The number of volumes was so immense,that they served as fuel to parboil the Alexandria ansforaix months; although they were distributed amongst for- ty thousand Baths. Had it not been forthis event, their contents might, perhaps, have kept the whole World in hoi water, fo* a 282 APPENDIX. much longer period. How many Eruditi would have read themselves stone blind over these musty manuscripts, before they would have been able to have informed the unlearned, that nine hundred and ninety-nine, out of every thousand, were not worth the perusal. As some compensation therefore for the destruction of that noble library, may we not presume that the moderns have gained in originality and invention, more than they have lost in information and in erudition ; and that this event hath induced many to strengthen their minds by thinking, who had otherwise only weakened their eyes by read- ing ? Page 60. — u Mansfield to Court, and Woodfallto a Jail" Mansfield would have been a second Jeffries had he lived under the reign of James ; but there would havebeenthis dif- ference between them, where Jtffiies used a hatchet, Mansfield would have preferred a razor. Every one has something to say on Junius. Lord Mansfield found his Editor, Woodfall, not very communicative, when a- live ; his Ghost is not likely to be more so now. I have heard that promises were resorted to on this occasion, no less than fines, imprisonments, and prosecutions; and that Woodfall was officially requested to say what was the lowest Sum for which he would give up his author. These overtures he effec- tually checked by answei ing, ONE MILLION J It has often struck me, that Junius died very soon after the publication of those letters. lie certainly was not silenced by a bribe, for he had transgressed beyond all hope of pardon, or any pension except svs-pension. Nor do I think that Junius was a Cerbe- rus to be lulled by a sop. But, had he lived, he could not have been a slent spectator of the great events which soon afterwards took place in Europe; and I suspect, had he con- tinued to write, his style must have betrayed him. But I do not offer this last argument as decisive, because we all know with what ease aud felicity some have concealed their own APPENDIX. 283 style, and imitated that of another. There is a Greek passage very apposite on this subject, but my own patience, and my printer's types would be exhausted, before the quotation. Nay, in some instances, where no alteration has been made in the style, the mere substitution of a name, has been suffici- ent to deceive the penetrating eye of Criticism. The peculi- arity of Burke's style, all will admit ; and yet weknow that he wrote the celebrated inauguraldissertations by which Sir Joshua Reynolds gained such amazing credit. Yet Dr. Johnson, who was intimately acquainted with the powers of both of them, never discovered in those dissertations the great Author of " The Sublime and Beautiful ;" and Sir Joshua Reynolds might have enjoyed, to this day, the full credit of those elo- quent compositions, for which he furnished only the hints on sculpture and painting, had it not been for an accidental cir- cumstance Tiie increasing weakness of his eyes, obliged him to employ an amanuensis to transcribe the manuscripts, when the hand writing of Edmund Burke was immediately re- cognized. Page 173.— Note. For Cicero consoles Sulpicius, read, Sulpicius consoles Cicero, and in the same sentence for Son, read Daughter. Nor am I sure that this is quite correct, as I quote from memory ; in which case I shall be compared to George Faulkener. editor of the Dublin Journal. " George," said a friend, " you have made a sad blunder in your last Journal; you have printed it thus—" His Grace the Duchess:" " Well, well," said George, " it shall be corrected in our next." On the following week the good people of Dublin were set right : " Erratum in our last, for His Grace the Duchess, read Her Grace the Duke." I shall take this opportunity of apologizing to the public for press errors, which I fear too frequently occur. I am obliged to submit to the task of being my own corrector, an office which 284 APPENDIX. I shall be happy shortly to resign to the Critics. It is certaia that an author is, of all men, the least qualified to correct hi* own work. If a Pin be out of place in the dress of his mis- tress, the lover will be the last to discover it. Page 75. — " To Tutty's fire, and Colo's courage blind." Some will accuse me of having forgotten Horace's celebrated eompliment to Cato, or rather to Augustus ; " Et cuncta terrarum subacta Prater atrocem animum Catonis" I am ready to admit that this is the most sublime passage that Poet ever wrote. But it is a compliment of a very doubtful kind to Cato. " Noscitur a sociis" will apply to words, as well as to men. Now the word atrox is constantly used by Horace, (and I suspect by others,) in a bad sense ; and if Horace had been speaking of Cataline, he could not have applied a more degrading epithet. Cicero could have supplied him with a more grand and faithful portrait of Cato, whom he represents as standing upright amidst the ruins of the Republic, the noblest spectacle which the Universe could afford to Jupiter. Some will be ready to accuse Virgil of similar injustice to his two illustrious cotemporaries Cato and Cicero. But we must re- member that the jEneid was an unfinished work, and a posthu- mous publication ; and also that it was edited by two creatures of Augustus, who certainly added nothing, yet we know not what they may have suppressed. It is but fair to observe, that one of the finest passages in this Poem, concludes with a compliment to Cato. Yet none of them have surpassed that line of Lucan, «« Victrix causa Diis placuit, sed victa Catoni." Which proves that antithesis, although it be usually con- aected with wit, is not incompatible with sublimity. APPENDIX. 285 Page 84. — all those *« Who lave not England's cause, nor England's weal.'* S s 290 APPENDIX. Page 95. — "And make Napoleon play both Knave and fool" The Game must be desperate when Talleyrand throws down his Cards; and foul must be the play in which he blushes to co-operate. It is probable that the annals of Louis the XII. furnished Buonaparte with the model of his Spanish expedi- tion. That indeed succeeded, but let him remember that Vil- lany does not always prosper. Spain may teach Europe what it is that will satisfy the common oppressor; Not all the mili- tary and naval resources of a nation — not all its population— not all its treasuie. These he fully enjoyed, at the moment he was meditating the complete destruction of a sincere and generous ally. From every thing 1 can collect from the remarks and obser- vations of those French Officers who last arrived in this town, as Prisoners of War, I will undertake to say that Buonaparte's most unprincipled attack on Spain is a death blow to his popu- larity. The sad experience of battle after battle, and cam- paign after campaign, has now convinced his firmest veterans that they are doomed to serve a military Despot, whose lust of empire hath no bounds. These men now perceive that the life of a Soldier, under such a Commander, presents nothing but a barren and a gloomy prospect of perils and privations, to be terminated only by death. " Have we not seen," they ex- claim, "our bravest companions sacrificed to the ambition of him who is as greedy of dominion, as he is prodigal of blood ? Have we not beheld army after army coolly abandoned to ine- vitable de>tructiou ? Witness the parching sands of Egypt, the snows of Poland, the pestilent morasses of Domingo, and the dear-won fortresses of Spain ! And for what are we covered with scars and polluted with blood ? To render the name of a Frenchman execrable throughout the world ; to aggrandize an ungrateful task-master, to forge his fetters, and to increase his slaves ! Nor have our children a better prospect at home. They also are daily subject to be dragged away to the armies ; APPENDIX. 291 •r if they escape, for a season, the iron grasp of the conscrip- tion, they must submit to live under a state of espionage so jealous and vigilant, that to be suspected even of being suspi- cious, is a sufficient crime." There are the strongest reasons to believe that such sentiments are rapidly increasing through- out the armies of France ; the protraction of the contest in Spain is daily making fresh proselytes to these opinions; the time is not far distant when those who think thus will form the majority. When that moment arrives, Europe may repeat an exclamation made over the dead body of Charles the XII — ** The Farce is over." Page 97. — eac loss and inconvenience, as Mr. Chave has expended a considerable sum in improvements, and could have continued on a reduced rent. When one of the labourers on the Canal was -mot, the Newspapers informed us, that this took place a the house of the Mr. Chave above mentioned. The fact is, that this circumstance happened in another part of the village, at the house of another Mr. Chave, neither related nor connected with the Mr. Chave in question. If these nocturnal and diurnal visnatious are the effects of a plot, the agents are marvellously secret and indefatigable. It 294 APPENDIX. has been going on more than three years. And if it be the re- sult of human machination, there must be more than sixty- persons concerned in it. Now I cannot but think it rather strange that a secret by which no one can possibly get any thing, should be so well kept ; particularly when I inform the public what the Newspapers would not, or could not acquaint them with ; namely, that a Reward of two hundred and fifty Pounds has been advertized, for any one who can give such information as may lead to a discovery. Nearly two years have elapsed, and no claimant has appeared. I mysel f , who have been abused as the dupe at one time, and the promoter of this affair at another, was the first to come forward with one hundred pounds, and the late Mayor of Tiverton has now an instrument in his hands empowering him to call on me for the payment of that sum, to any one who can explain the cause of the phenomena. An authentic narrative of all the occurrences at Sampford up to a certain date, was published by me, and may be had at the Publisher's and Booksellers. Many circumstances, if possible still more extraordinary than those I have related, have since occurred, but as they do not afford the least clue that may enable us to discover the cause that produced them, I shall do the public no service by relating them. A gentleman who commanded a company in the Hereford Militia was stationed at Sampford ; his curiosity was much excited, and he sat up in Mr. Chave's house at different times, thirty nights. I dined with him at Ottery Barracks ; his brother officers were anxious to know his opinion of that affair. He immediately replied, '* Mr. Colton, who sits opposite, has engaged to give one hun- dred pounds to any person who can discover it. If he will hand me half a guinea across the table, I engage before you all to pay Ihe money instead of him, whenever he is called upon." I did not take his offer. A clear proof that neither of us think a discovery the most probable thing in the world. APPENDIX. 295 Page 184 — ci Teach men the conqueror's blood-stained name to hate." At a time of very general despondency, I tried bow far it was possible *o vindicate warlike measures on Christian principles. — I remember I was not pleased with my cause, nor my defence of it. Page 203 — " From fear of wrong who never dares be right." I have heard of a milk and water good sort of a man, of this stamp, so very cautious not to give offence, that he abstained from all places of religious worship on the ground ofneutrality» He had not the slightest objection he would say to goto church, but was afraid the Devil might take it ill. Page 209. — " Dear is his gold to Clrve y but dearer still. 1 * In a Country like this where every thing, and almost every man, has his price, Wealth is certainly power. But Talent is also power. Wherein then consists the difference ? The in- fluence which wealth obtains in any nation will always be in exact proportion to its degradation and debasement ; but the influence of talent will always be most felt and acknowledged, as nations become more exalted and refined. So that from the preponderancy of talent and genius in any government, we may justly infer its health and vigour ; but from the prepon- derancy of money, its dotage and degeneration. Page 223.— See the Note. In styling Poetry an imitative Art, I have sided with Aris- totle; although some modern writers have argued very learned- ly, to prove the contrary. Whai I have said of Sir Joshua Reynold's blindness may need a qualification. 1 am not certain that he was absolutely blind, nor does it much affect the argu- ment. If 1 remember right, this eminent artist died from a •very extraordinary enlargement of the liver. fgS APPENDIX. I shall conclude by remarking that some Critics vill think alliteration occurs rather too frequently in this Poem. But if alliteration be a fault, it is a fault in which the best Poets have indulged themselves, A friend of whose taste and judgment I have the highest opinion, knows 'that I have altered many lines, and sometimes for the worse, to avoid alliteration. 1 hope I am open to conviction ; but I shall not think any objections to al- literation valid, unless they come from one who substitute* better words. To such a Critic I shall bow with deference. Smith, Printer, Tiverton. c/ <0 'JNV-SO^ ^IAINiHWV ^/^w-- A >» UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY Los Angeles This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. 3 1158 00288 1018 UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY AA 000 076 207 o