I 1914 REEN STOCKINGS \. E. W. MASON MUEL FRENCH, 25 WEST 45th St., New York PARTRIDGE PRESENT Comedy in 3 acts. By Mary Kennedy and Ruth Haw thorne 6 males, 6 females. Modern costumes. 2 interiors Plays 2^ hours. The characters, scenes and situations are thoroughly up-to ate in this altogether delightful American comedy. The heroin* is a woman of tremendous energy, who manages a business a* she manages everything with great success, and at home pre sides over the destinies of a growing son and daughter. Hei Struggle to give the children the opportunities she herself had missed, and the children's ultimate revolt against her well-meant management that is the basis of the plot. The son who is cast* for the part of artist and the daughter who is to go on the stagfr offer numerous opportunities for the development of the comi* possibilities in the theme. The play is one of the most delightful, yet thought-provoking American comedies of recent years, and is warmly recommended to all amateur group So (Royalty on application.) Price, 75 Cents IN THE NEXT ROOM Melodrama in 3 acts. By Eleanor Bobson and Harriel Pord. 8 males, 3 females. 2 interiors. Modern .costume* Plays 2*4 hours. "Philip Vantine has bought a rare copy of an original Boulf cabinet and ordered it shipped to his New York home from Paris When it arrives it is found to be the original itself, the pofr session of which is desired by many strange people. Before th* mystery concerned with the cabinet's shipment can be cleared up, two persons meet mysterious death fooling with it and th> happiness of many otherwise happy actors is threatened" (Burne Mantle). A first-rate mystery play, comprising all the elements of suspense, curiosity, comedy and drama. "In the Next Room* ie quite easy to stage. It can be unreservedly recommended to fcigh schools and colleges., (Royalty, twenty-five dollars.} Price, 75 Cent* SAMUEL FRENCH, 25 West 45th Street, New Tork City New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free on Request Green Stockings A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS BY A. E. W. MASON COPYRIGHT, 1910, BY Louis NETHERSOLE COPYRIGHT, 1912, BY MARGARET ANGLIN HULL COPYRIGHT^ 1914, BY MARGARET ANGLIN HULL All Rights Reserved CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that "GREEN STOCKINGS," being fully protected under the copy- right laws of the United States of America, the British Empire, including the Dominion of Canada, and all the other countries of the Copyright Union, is subject to royalty, and anyone pre- senting the play without the consent of the owners or their authorized agents will be liable to the penalties by law pro- vided. Applications for the amateur acting rights must be made to Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York, N. Y. Appli- cations for the professional acting rights must be made ta Alice Kauser, 1402 Broadway, New York, N. Y. NEW YORK SAMUEL FRENCH PUBLISHER J5 WEST 45TH STREET LONDON SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD. 26 SOUTHAMPTON STREET STRAND, W.C.2 ifoyalty on t LOB s; P : ttt V Aft GREEN STOCKINGS All Rights Reserved Especial notice should be taken that the possession of this book without a valid contract for production first having been obtained from the publisher confers no right or license to professionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly or in private for gain or charity. In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading public only, and no performance, representation, production, recitation, public reading, or radio broadcasting may be given except by special arrangement with Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York. This play may be presented by amateurs upon payment of a royalty of Twenty-five Dollars for each performance, pay- able to Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York, one week before the date when the play is given. Whenever the play is produced the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play: "Produced by special arrangement with Samuel French of New York." Attention is called to the penalty provided by law for any infringement of the author's rights, as follows: "SECTION 4966 : Any person publicly ?jerforming or repre- senting any dramatic or musical composition for which copy- right has been obtained, without the consent of the proprietor of said dramatic or musical composition, or his heirs and assigns, shall be liable for damages thereof, such damages in all cases to be assessed at such sum, not less than one hun- dred Collars for the first and fifty dollars for every subse- quent performance, as to the court shall appear to be just. If the unlawful performance and representation be wilful and for profit, such person or persons shall be guilty of a mis- demeanor, and upon conviction shall be imprisoned for a period not exceeding one year." U. S. Revised Statutes : Title 60, Chap. 3. Printed in the United States of America by THE RICHMOND HILL RECORD, RICHMOND HILL, N.Y. The following is a copy of program of the first perform- ance of GREEN STOCKINGS as produced at the Thirty- ninth Street Theatre, New York, on October 2, 1911 : Liebler and Company presents GREEN STOCKINGS A Comedy in Three Acts By A. E. W. MASON CAST OF CHARACTERS COLONEL J. N. SMITH, D.S.O H. Reeves Smith WILLIAM FARADAY, J.P Stanley Dark ADMIRAL GRICE, R.N Arthur Lawrence HONORABLE ROBERT TARVER Ivo Dawson JAMES RALEIGH Wallace Widdecombe HENRY STEELE Henry Hull MARTIN Halbert Brown CELIA FARADAY Margaret Anglin EVELYN TRENCHARD Mrs. Ruth Holt Boucicault MADGE ROCKINGHAM Helen Lang-ford PHYLLIS FARADAY Gertrude Hits MRS. CHISHOLM FARADAY Maude Granger SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ACT I. Room in Mr. Faraday's House, February nth* Evening. ACT II. Same as Act I. Eight months later. About six o'clock. ACT III. Morning room in Mr. Faraday's house. Evening same day. DESCRIPTION OF CHARACTERS ADMIRAL GRICE (Retired), a testy old gentleman of about sixty-five, with the manner of an old sea dog, of ruddy complexion, with white hair and whiskers. WILLIAM FARADAY, a well- preserved man of about sixty-five. Fashionable, superficial and thor- oughly selfish. COLONEL SMITH, a dignified, dryly humorous man of military bearing, about forty years old. ROBERT TARVER, an empty-headed young swell. HENRY STEELE and JAMES RALEIGH, two young men of about thirty and thirty-five respectively. MARTIN, a dignified old family servant. CELIA FARADAY, an unaffected woman of twenty- nine, with a sense of hivmor. MADGE (MRS. ROCKINGHAM) and EVELYN (LADY TRENCHARD), handsome, well-dressed, fashion- able women of twenty- five and twenty-seven re- spectively. PHYLLIS, the youngest sister, a charming and pretty but thoughtlessly selfish girl of twenty. MRS. CHISHOLM FARADAY, of Chicago (AUNT IDA), a florid, quick-tempered, warm-hearted woman of fifty or thereabouts. Green Stockings ACT I SCENE: A room in MR. FARADAY'S country house; at the upper left corner a little room is recessed, in which is a folding card table and four chairs. Windows at back. On table are two decks of cards, an ashtray and two bridge-markers and pencils. Hanging over table, a shaded electro- lier. There is no door, but people sitting at the card tables are practically off the stage, though they can be seen and heard. At right corner balancing left corner exactly is seen a portion of the morning room (backing used is part of Act HI set). Directly against back is a small table, between two chairs, both of which are fac- ing it. On table, a lighted lamp and an English periodical, also an ashtray and a vase of spring flowers. Note: AH flowers used in this set are spring flowers. Between card room and morn- ing room on back flat, a tapestry is hung, against flat a baby grand piano, keyboard facing right up and down stage; on piano are a scarf, photo- graph frames, vase of flowers and a lamp. In the center of the left wall of the room, proper is hung a large picture ; beneath this stands a large cabinet on which is formal garniture. Below this is a door (L.I) which leads into tlie hall; above door and to left center, a table on which is a sliding book rack holding several books and an English army list. Also a shaded lamp, a 5 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI purse for LADY TRENCHARD to left of table, and a sewing-bag for AUNT IDA to right of table. In R.I is a door balancing that in L.I. It leads to hall. Above door R. is a large mantel. Above this is hung a large picture, balancing that on left wall. On the mantel, a formal garniture of vases; against mantel, a club fender with up- holstered top, fireirons inside fender, grate with lighted coal fire; below fender, facing sofa, an armchair. Opposite and facing the fender and about three feet from it is a large comfort- able sofa, with a number of cushions; against the back of this, a long magazine table. On this ore, beginning at upper end, an English time- table, a large shaded lamp, large cigarette box containing cigarettes, ashtray, match-holder, vase of tulips, photo frame, and at extreme lower end of table seven or eight English peri- odicals. On these, a large blue linen envelope, unsealed, flap being turned in. This contains a few spring fashion plates. With this are four ordinary letters, containing circulars (all of these letters are important). Below table, a square tapestry stool, left of table an armchair, under table a waste-paper basket. Between piano and entrance to morning room is a small light writing table. On this, a small lamp or a pair of shaded candles, a blotting pad with paper, envelopes, ink and pens. Above this a chair. Off L. a door bell and set of chimes. Electric light switch on R. wall to R. of morning room opening. Bell push on L. of back flat. The en- tire room should convey the impression of quiet, dignified, tasteful elegance. Complete darkness at windows, suggesting a rainy night. On rise of curtain, all lamps are lighted and fire aglow. Before the curtain rises, PHYLLIS plays for a moment or two. ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 7 AT RISE: Discovered: PHYLLIS at piano, playing. LADY TRENCHARD seated at upper end of sofa, smoking a cigarette and reading a periodical. MADGE writing a letter at writing table up stage. AUNT IDA seated in armchair at R. of table L,., knitting. The girls and AUNT IDA are in eve- ning dress. PHYLLIS continues to play softly under conversation, something cheerful but not too fast. The opening scene should be played brightly and quickly. MADGE. (Rises. Brightly) Oh, Evelyn EVELYN. Yes, Madge. MADGE. (Coming down to chair L. of table R. with letter in hand) I do want this letter to my husband to catch the Indian mail. Do you know anything about the postal service in this benighted village ? EVELYN. (Continuing to read and speaking over her magazine) No, Madgie, I don't. Celia always attends to those things. She's away. Ring for Martin. (MADGE goes to bell in upper flat L., rings it, and then comes L.c.J AUNT IDA. (Without looking up from her knit- ting) Has anyone gone to the wharf to meet Celia ? EVELYN. (Indifferently) Why, no. She's com- ing home to-night, isn't she ? AUNT IDA. (Vehemently) You got her telegram. MADGE. (Unconcerned) What time is her boat due? AUNT IDA. At eight, and now it's nearly nine. (Enter MARTIN R.IE. and stands.) AUNT IDA. (Continuing) She'll have been wait- ing for an hour on that dreadful wharf. 8 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI EVELYN. (Still reading and speaking over her book) Oh, Martin, the motor must go at once to the wharf to fetch Miss Celia. MARTIN. Yes, your Ladyship, but hadn't I better send down some extra wraps ; it's a very wet night. EVELYN. (Looking up for a moment) Wet? Dear me, is it raining? AUNT IDA. Cats and dogs. EVELYN. (Returning to her reading) Oh, very well, then, Martin, attend to it at once. MARTIN. (Turns to go to door R.) Yes, your Ladyship. MADGE. (From L.c.J Attend to me first, Mar- tin, if you please. MARTIN. (Turns back) Yes, madam. MADGE. How late can I post in order to catch the Indian mail ? MARTIN. Up till ten o'clock, madam. MADGE. (Going back to desk) Oh, then I have time to write a longer letter. (MARTIN exits R.I.) AUNT IDA. (Looking around at girls, who are all occupied and quite oblivious of CELIA'S discomfort. With a deep sigh and shaking her head) Poor Celia. PHYLLIS. (Gives a slight bang on the piano, rises and comes quickly down center. Indignantly) Poor Celia. Well, she's coming back home just at a moment that's going to complicate the whole situation. EVELYN. Why, what do you mean ? PHYLLIS. (Addressing EVELYN) Well, you know how father feels about letting me get married while Celia is settling down day after day into a perma- nent old maid. If she'd stay away a little longer, he might forget for a while, but here she's turning up just this very night, just as Bobby has gained cour- age enough to take the bull by the horns and beard the lion sulking in his tent. ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 9 (Enter TARVER in evening dress, dejectedly, R.U., coming down center.) AUNT IDA. What an extraordinary proceeding. PHYLLIS. (Running up to BOBBY and taking him by the arm) Oh ! Bobby, Bobby ! What news ? TARVER. Well, I'm afraid it's hopeless, though I spoke with singular force. (Sits in chair left of ta- ble B J PHYLLIS. (Stands L. of chair, L. of table Rj Oh, Bobby, how splendid of you! How did you put it? TARVER. In the form of a question. I said to your father, "Are you aware, sir, that I love your daughter and wish to make her mine?" EVELYN. What did Father say? TARVER. Oh, he said, "Has it escaped your ob- servation, sir, that I still have two marriageable daughters ?" PHYLLIS. (Protestingly) But he hasn't, he hasn't. AUNT IDA. Eh? PHYLLIS. You know what I mean, Aunt Ida. I'm marriageable, but Celia well Celiats just un- married. EVELYN. (With smiling sarcasm) And very likely to stay so. AUNT IDA. (Grunts) Huh ! TARVER. That's just it, but tell me, what is your father's dearest wish in life? PHYLLIS. To get rid of us both, of course. AUNT IDA. Phyllis Faraday! EVELYN. (Putting magazine on sofa and putting out cigarette on ashtray) Yes, so that he can give up this house to live at his club, but he promised poor mother to wait till we were all married TARVER. Yes, and he knows there's a better chance of getting Celia off his hands as long as Phyl- lis is about, because people will go on talking of her; io GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI and Celia as the two Faraday girls, and lumping good old Celia into the girl division just out of habit. He won't risk letting Miss Celia put on a third pair of green stockings. (TARVER looks around for ashtray, sees one on upper end of table, rises, goes to upper end of table, flicks ashes on tray and strolls down right of sofa and sits lower end of fender.) AUNT IDA. Eh? Will you tell me what all this has to do with Celia's stockings? (PHYLLIS sits in chair L. of table R.J EVELYN. (Rising leisurely, going to lower end of table, taking her fan and crossing to AUNT IDA, speaking as she goes) Not Celia's stockings, Aunt Ida, her green stockings. AUNT IDA. Eh? EVELYN. Why, yes. Have you never known of the old country custom which requires an elder sister to wear green stockings at the wedding of her younger sister, if that younger sister has captured a husband first? AUNT IDA. (Turning her back to EVELYN with disgust) No, I never heard of such rubbish. EVELYN. (Patronizingly, crossing to head of table R. and speaking as she crosses) And poor old Celia has had to put them on twice already. Once for Madge and once for me, and now comes Phyllis. (Puts her hand on PHYLLIS'S shoulder.) PHYLLIS. And if I have to wait to be married until Celia is out of the way (Sighs. EVELYN moves above table and down R. of sofa.) Oh, couldn't we think of anybody who might marry Ce; lia? Evelyn, do you think yoti could do anything about it with Henry Steele or Jimmie Raleigh ? TARVER. (With a brilliant inspiration) If it comes to that, why shouldn't Admiral Grice be got ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS n to marry Miss Celia? (Everybody exclaims and throws up their hands in horror.) (EVELYN sits on sofa.) PHYLLIS. (Horrified) Oh, Bobby! TARVER. Yes, Grice. (Thoughtfully, strolling center below table) Isn't half a bad idea, come to think of it. I'd like to get even with Grice. (AuNT IDA gives a grunt of disgust.) The way he keeps roaring questions at me all day about my election, and neither he nor Miss Celia are what you might call in the first bloom of their youth. AUNT IDA. (Interrupting sharply) Mr. Tarver, my niece, Miss Celia Faraday, is a dear, delightful young woman, still under thirty. EVELYN. (Again with smiling sarcasm) Yes, but how much under, Aunt Ida ? TARVER. Yes, as Lady Trenchard says, how much is Miss Celia Faraday under thirty? Thirty-two is freezing-point, remember. (PHYLLIS laughs.) AUNT IDA. Tcha! (Picks up knitting and goes on with it angrily.) TARVER. (Chuckling to himself and strolling right to foot of table) Jimmie Raleigh said a very true thing about her. He said, "Whenever I talk to Miss Faraday, I'm warranted to stay cold for days like a Thermos bottle." (Sits on stool.) PHYLLIS. Oh, Bobby! AUNT IDA. Oh, Mr. Tarver ! (Smiling with sup- pressed fury) I should like to have you in Chicago for a week. TARVER. (Taking her seriously) Oh, thanks aw- fully. I dare say some day, after my election, I shall have to look up America. Just at present, though, I have too much on my mind. AUNT IDA. Shouldn't overburden the weak, Mr, Tarver. 12 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI PHYLLIS. (Showing resentment) Oh, Aunt Ida ! (EVELYN laughs.) TARVER. (Rises, gives AUNT IDA a resentful look, turns up R. by fender and addresses EVELYN,) But the great thing now is to get old Grice to propose to Miss Celia. EVELYN. (Very patronizingly) Why, yes, Bobby. Then out of gratitude she might go out and canvass for you. TARVER. (Doubtfully) Ye-es, that would be very nice, of course. (Rises enthusiastically.) But fas- cinating girls are what is needed at a time like this like you, Lady Trenchard, and Phyllis and Mrs. Rockingham. (He bows to each as he addresses them. Going up to MADGE at desk R.) I say, when is your husband coming back from India? MADGE. Not till Christmas. (Rises.) TARVER. Then you can spend all your time can- vassing for me, can't you? MADGE. (Patronizingly) Oh, of course, Bobby. TARVER. (Crossing L. to c.) Thanks awfully. And you two girls can do the same. But your sis- ter well (MADGE comes to head of magazine table.) AUNT IDA. (Turning on him quickly) Well, what, Mr. Tarver? TARVER. (Very diffidently) Well, I'm afraid she wouldn't be of much use you see, she's rather dif- ficultisn't she? AUNT IDA. Difficult ! TARVER. (Seeing he has made a break, tries to recover himself) Well, not quite the sort of person to make friends for one, don't you know ? AUNT IDA. (Growing more and more enraged, rises and faces him) Mr. Tarver! TARVER. (Now thoroughly frightened) Well, shall we say a, a a trifle cold? AUNT IDA. (Backing him across stage to foot of ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 13 table R.J Yes, and who has made her a trifle cold (Imitating TARVERJ and difficult? You and your Henry Steeles and Jimmy Raleighs. ALL THE GIRLS TOGETHER. Aunt Ida! TARVER. Oh, I say! AUNT IDA. Yes, where is she now, I would like to know? Freezing for an hour on an open wharf in the pouring rain, three miles away, because nobody took the trouble to think of her. MADGE. (Coming center. Protestingly) Oh, Aunt Ida, I heard the motor leave not two minutes ago. AUNT IDA. Yes, just about two hours too late. (MADGE goes above table and joins girls, who with TARVER are evidently alarmed under AUNT IDA'S attack and express it in a murmur. TARVER sits.) Oh, if only she doesn't get tired of waiting before the motor can get there. TARVER. (To girls) Don't worry. Don't worry. Why should she get tired ? It would look like a lack of confidence in you if she stopped waiting. AUNT IDA. Yes, and Celia is certainly accustomed to waiting for and on every one of you. GIRLS and TARVER. Now, you know Oh, I say. (MADGE turns up to piano.) AUNT IDA. (Continuing) She is a back number. That's your constant suggestion, and because she hasn't found a Jim Raleigh to love her, she is on the shelf (Disgustedly) & Jim Raleigh. (TARVER and PHYLLIS rise and she consoles him.) RALEIGH. (Entering gayly through morning room) Hello, what's that about me ? (Goes directly to AUNT IDA. They turn to table i*.) I 4 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI (AUNT IDA flustered and exclaiming. Immediately following RALEIGH are FARADAY, GRICE and STEELE in the foregoing order. They are chat- ting and smoking and are all in evening dress.) FARADAY. (Cheerily) You don't mind, girls, if we bring in our cigars? MADGE and EVELYN. Not at all, Father. (FARADAY crosses immediately to card table and looks it over.) GRICE. (Coming down R. of sofa. Gruffly to TARVER J Tarver, I want to ask you a question. TARVER. (Going reluctantly to him) Yes, sir. (PHYLLIS looks reproachfully at GRICE and sits again in chair L. of table R., swinging her foot and watching TARVER and GRICE. STEELE goes to head of sofa and talks with LADY TRENCH- ARD. MADGE remains by piano, turning over music. RALEIGH crosses to left of table, above table, still talking to AUNT IDA. All of this business occurs almost simultaneously and quickly.) FARADAY. (Coming out of card room. Irritably) Madge, where are those new markers ? MADGE. I don't know, Father. Celia attends to everything. FARADAY. (Coming down center. Testily) Well, God bless my soul, where is Celia ? (MADGE gradually comes down c., R. of FARADAY.,) AUNT IDA. (Facing him. Vehemently) God bless your soul, William Faraday, down on the wharf in the pouring rain \ ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 15 FARADAY. What's that? AUNT IDA. (Continuing) Frozen to death by this time. FARADAY. God bless my soul ! AUNT IDA. (Continuing) For all any one cares. FARADAY. But I need her. She must be sent for at once. (Door opens suddenly. CELIA, in dripping oilskins and drenched veil, carrying a soaking wet travel- ing bag, enters and crosses immediately from L.IE. to R.I. All give start of surprise.) OMNES. Celia! Miss Faraday! (Etc.) AUNT IDA. Darling! MADGE. (As CELIA gets center. Coming down center) We did send the motor for you, Celia, only it was too late. CELIA. (Pausing at door) Yes, I know, Madgie, but when I met him, he wouldn't stop. He took me for the fish-monger (Exit quickly R.IE.) FARADAY. Fish-monger! God bless my soul! MADGE, (Idiotically to girls) She must have walked. EVELYN and PHYLLIS. Why, yes. AUNT IDA. Well, she could hardly sleep on the wharf, could she? GRICE. (To STEELED What an unfortunate way that poor woman has of doing things that make everyone feel uncomfortable. STEELE. (To GRICE^ Yes, the idea of her walk- ing up here alone in the rain ! EVELYN. (To girls) Wherever did she get the clothes ? CELIA. (Off stage) Martin, send to the station at once for my hat and coat and return these things to Wilson. He borrowed them from the pilot. GRICE. Wilson ? 16 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI EVELYN. (Patronizingly) He is the man at the station. He's Celia's slave. (CELIA re-enters without oilskins and stands at door R. She is in a simple traveling dress.) FARADAY. (From center of stage) God bless my soul, Celia, where have you been? CELIA. Why; I've been away, Father, for a week. Perhaps you haven't noticed it. FARADAY. Not noticed it? I have missed you very much. I never get all the right things for breakfast when you're away ! CELIA. Sorry, Father. (CELIA crosses quickly to AUNT IDA, who is in the center of the stage, FARA- DAY having turned and gone up into the card room. CELIA nodding as she crosses, to the ADMIRAL and the girls) Good evening, Admiral. Well, girls. (ADMIRAL acknowledges her greeting with a grunt, STEELE with a stiff bow, and the girls say, "Good evening, CELIA/') CELIA. Well, Aunt Ida. AUNT IDA. (Kissing her on both cheeks) Dear child! (CELIA passing L. over to MR. RALEIGH, who is left of table L. CELIA offers her hand, which he takes with a very bored air. Meanwhile, the groups break up after CELIA has passed. LADY TRENCHARD joins the ADMIRAL and STEELE. at upper end of sofa. PHYLLIS joins TARVER; they sit at lower end of fender, PHYLLIS sitting in chair below fender. AUNT IDA joins MADGE and they all talk in dumb show during CELIA'S scene with RALEIGH. ) Pi O ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 17 CELIA. Mr. Raleigh, how are you? RALEIGH. I am very well, thank you. (Pause.) Yes. CELIA. Yes ? RALEIGH. (In a bored monotone, looking straight in front of him) Yes. I hope you enjoyed yourself, Miss Faraday. You were in London? CELIA. No, at Southampton. RALEIGH. Oh, yes er all amongst the ships and things, CELIA. Yes. RALEIGP. Yes. CELIA. Won't you sit down, Mr. Raleigh? RALEIGH. No, thanks. I never sit down. CELIA. Eh? RALEIGH. After dinner. CELIA. Oh. RALEIGH. You have been away quite a long time, Miss Faraday? CELIA. Yes, for me. RALEIGH. Yes, I mean for you. Well nothing much has happened. CELIA. Well, one hardly expects much, does one? RALEIGH. No. Oh, Manners has got himself en- gaged. CELIA. Really ? To Jennie Woodcote, I suppose ? RALEIGH. Yes; they were all saying it was her last chance. CELIA. Yes, they would. RALEIGH. Of course, that's all nonsense. Now- adays, there's no a CELIA. Age limit? RALEIGH. Exactly! (Then catching 1 himself up in great confusion) No, no! Good Lord, no! I didn't mean FARADAY. (Coming forward L.cJ Well, we might as well have some bridge. (Murmurs of "Oh, splendid!") 18 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI RALEIGH. (With a shout of relief backs away from CELIA toward card room) Bridge! Oh, splen- did! (EVELYN and STEELE go slowly to card room. TARVER starts L.) GRICE. (Quickly) Tarver, I have another ques- tion to ask you. TARVER. (To FARADAY, enthusiastically) Ad- miral Grice plays a ripping game. FARADAY. (Gayly) Come along, Admiral. Come along. GRICE. (Crossing left. FARADAY takes him by the arm. They go up to card room together, chat- ting gayly) Not bad. Not bad. (These last few lines are played very quickly. CELIA has remained in chair R. of L. table after RAL- EIGH has gone to card room. AUNT IDA and MADGE are standing up stage and those who have gone into the card room seat themselves in the following fashion, after the settling of part- ners in dumb show: RALEIGH is seated down stage, his back to the audience; LADY TRENCH- ARD to his right, FARADAY to his left, and AD- MIRAL GRICE opposite him. They begin their game of bridge. TARVER has gone up R. of sofa, getting a cigarette at head of table. PHYLLIS throws herself lightly on the sofa on her knees, gathering up CELIA'S letters and flourishing them at her.) PHYLLIS. Celia, here are some letters for you. CELIA. (Crossing to chair L. of table R. and sit- ting) Letters for me? PHYLLIS. One is a big one. (Gives CELIA letters, kneeling on sofa.) ACTI GREEN STOCKINGS 19 CELIA. I don't suppose any of them are very im- portant. PHYLLIS. (Pityingly) No, I don't suppose so. CELIA. (Looking at letters) Circulars. Circu- lars. (Tears open one envelope and takes out circu- lar letter. Then seeing big envelope, says brightly as she picks it up and draws out fashion plates) Oh, spring fashions. PHYLLIS. (With an air of superiority) Oh, you don't want those. Give them to me. (CELIA submissively hands them, over, leaving large blue envelope on table. PHYLLIS takes them and sits on sofa with TARVER, who has come down after lighting his cigarette. They hold hands, backs to CELIA, looking at fashions.) CELIA. (Reading letter that she has opened) "Dear Sir or Madam: Having secured our un- paralleled stock of sherry wine on a falling mar- ket " (Drops envelope and opens another. Reads) "Dear Madam: You are cordially invited to attend our spring opening of household linens " FARADAY. (Coming from card room) Madge, you will play? MADGE. No, thanks, I'll finish my letter. (Who has been talking to AUNT IDA, goes back to writing table up R. and resumes writing.) FARADAY. (Disappointedly) And Phyllis doesn't. AUNT IDA. Well, there's Celia. FARADAY. (Coming down to CELIA,) God bless my soul! Of course, why did I forget? CELIA. Oh that's all right, Father. (Cheerfully opening her letters) It's being done, you know. FARADAY. (To TARVER and PHYLLIS, who are seated on sofa, holding hands) Now, then, you two, none of that ! No holding hands ! (They rise quickly, looking embarrassed and facing father.) You are; not engaged yet, you know. ao GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI CELIA. (Happily) Engaged? Phyllis and Mr. Tarver? FARADAY. (Reassuringly) No, no, certainly not. Nothing of the kind. Cheer up, my dear. (Patting CELIA on the shoulder) You don't suppose I would allow a chick like Phyllis to marry with you on my hands still ? AUNT IDA. (Who has been watching him and listening to him) William ! (She takes him by the arm and they go up to the card room together.) (There are now in the card room GRICE, FARADAY, STEELE, RALEIGH, LADY TRENCHARD and AUNT IDA. AUNT IDA is out of sight. RALEIGH, LADY TRENCHARD, GRICE and FARADAY are playing. STEELE is circulating about above table. TARVER goes up in the morning room, sits left of table, and reads a magazine. CELIA rises and goes to* PHYLLIS, who meets her below sofa.) CELIA. Phyllis ? PHYLLIS. (Eagerly) Oh, Celia, you don't really mind, do you ? Just because you can't I mean, be- cause you don't want to get married, you won't try to stop Bobby and me, will you? CELIA. (In a hurt tone) Phyllis dear PHYLLIS, (Relieved) I knew you wouldn't. I told Bobby ! CELIA. And do you mean to say that Mr. Tar- ver (Controlling herself with effort) Phyllis, dear You ought to know by now there isn't anything I wouldn't do to make my littlest sister happy- (Patting PHYLLIS on cheek.) PHYLLIS. (Carelessly engrossed in her own af- fairs) Oh, of course, I know that. But, Celia, you're quite mistaken and unjust about poor Bobby. ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 21 CELIA. (Smiling, rather bitterly) Oh I hope not, Phyllis. I can't stand injustice! PHYLLIS. (Kneeling on stool R.c.J But you are! In spite of all his worries and preoccupations about his election, Bobby takes the greatest interest in you, Celia CELIA. (Crosses c. Smiles ironically) Yes ? PHYLLIS. I tell you he does! (Forgetting herself in her zeal) As soon as he has time, Bobby means to do everything he can to get Admiral Grice to pro- pose to you! CELIA. (Recoiling) What! ! PHYLLIS. (Crestfallen) Oh I oughtn't to have told you, I suppose. But it's true, all the same. (Reproachfully) You don't appreciate Bobby's no- T}le nature, Celia. You don't know how Bobby real- izes your your loneliness, Celia. Unless you could hear him talk about you, you'd never guess how much darling Bobby pities you. CELIA. (In a changed voice) Phyllis. One mo- ment, please (With an effort at calm) Do you mean to say that you and and Mr. Tarver have been been discussing me? Oh! (Clenching her handkerchief.) PHYLLIS. Not discussing (Self -righteously) Bobby would not discuss anybody. But you see, Celia, we were all Aunt Ida and all of us talking, just in fun, about your having to wear Green Stock- ings once more at my wedding, and Bobby (Laughs to herself) Darling Bobby, is so witty / CELIA. Oh, yes go on, Phyllis. PHYLLIS. (Injured) Well, but he is. CELIA. Oh, yes yes PHYLLIS. And so Bobby was just being most awfully sweet and sympathetic about your your position. CELIA. My position ! (Between her teeth) My position ! And so Mr. Robert Tarver was kind 22 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI enough to express concern, was he because there was no possible chance of any decent man ever want- ing to marry me? PHYLLIS. (Half frightened) Oh, Celia ! (Rises.) CELIA. And he makes jokes about my stockings. ( Goes L. to chair R. of table L. and stands beside it.) I can hear his jokes ! PHYLLIS. Oh, Celia ! Bobby is witty. CELIA. (Ironically) Yes, very. FARADAY. (In card room) I don't think much of that, Admiral. GRICE. (In card room) You don't ? What's the matter with it? (These last two lines are spoken hurriedly, almost together in card room, as CELIA'S expression conveys to the audience her sudden determina- tion to invent her story.) CELIA. (With entire change of manner) Call him down here, Phyllis, please, and tell him I want to speak to him. PHYLLIS. Celia! (Crossing to center) But why? CELIA. Oh, nothing. I only want to thank him, you know, about old Admiral Grice, and tell him that he need no longer complicate his anxiety about his election with worries about me or the color of my stockings. PHYLLIS. (Startled) Why, Celia what do you mean? CELIA. Well, you see (Laughs) I am not quite accustomed to announcing my engagement. PHYLLIS. (With undisguised amazement. Halt" ingly) Your engagement? Why it's impossible. CELIA. Yes, that's what Mr. Tarver says. Well, now suppose we call him down here, Phyllis, and tell him he is mistaken. ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 23 PHYLLIS. Oh Ce lia ! (Embraces CELIA gush- ingly. Rushes up to TARVER and calling) Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby ! (TARVER drops his magazine, PHYLLIS drags him down R. of CELIA. He is right of PHYLLIS.^ What do you think ? Celia's engaged to be married. TARVER. (Looks at her, greatly astonished, drop- ping his eyeglass) Never ! CELIA. (Sarcastically) Thanks so much, Mr. Tarver, for your kind congratulations. PHYLLIS. (Who has run up to card room, calling) Aunt Ida, Aunt Ida ! (TARVER pauses a moment and then goes R V looking over at CELIA incredulously as he goes. He finally sits on fender.) CELIA. (Calling up to PHYLLIS,) Oh, Phyllis, I only meant to tell you and Mr. Tarver. PHYLLIS. (Excitedly. Bringing down AUNT IDA extreme L.) Aunt Ida! Celia is engaged to be married. AUNT IDA. (Coming down left of table and be- low table to CELIA. Smiling happily) Darling at last (Kisses CELIA.J PHYLLIS. (Dances across to center) I can be married now. 7 can be married now. (Runs across to MADGE and sits on piano stool.) AUNT IDA. I knew that this would happen. CELIA. Did you, Aunt Ida? (These last two lines spoken hurriedly and together.) PHYLLIS. Madge, what do you think? Celia is engaged. MADGE. (Rises, drops her pen in blank surprise) Not really! (PHYLLIS runs to BOBBY, who is on fender, and they sit together, talking excitedly, and looking at CELIA.J 24 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI FARADAY. (Entering from card room. Testily) Now then, now then, can't you girls make a little less noise ? MADGE. Oh, Father ! (Rushes to him, brings him c. She is R. of him.) What do you think has hap- pened? Celia is engaged to be married. (Pauses a moment to listen to ensuing dialogue and then runs up to card room and in dumb show tells others of\ CELIA'S engagement. They also in pantomime ex- press surprise and incredulity. They come slowly out of card room.) FARADAY. God bless my soul ! (A broad grin breaks slowly on his face) Celia engaged? CELIA. Why, yes, Father, if you have no objec- tion to the prospect of my leaving you. FARADAY. Objection? (Joyfully) Why, I'm delighted, my dear girl, delighted. (AUNT IDA and CELIA exchange glances and AUNT IDA, disgusted at FARADAY, goes up to card room and talks to EVELYN. ) CELIA. Yes, Father, I thought you would be pleased. FARADAY. Pleased? (With mock sentiment) I hope I show a father's feelings when his eldest daughter proposes to er desert the home-nest. (Murmurs up in card room. Reverting to his former attitude of enthusiasm) And who is he ? What's the d-e-a-r fellow's name? Eh, Celia? (EVELYN comes down extreme left. RALEIGH, GRICE and STEELE up L.C. AUNT IDA comes back of chair, R. of table L, PHYLLIS kneels on sofa, facing CELIA. TARVER comes and sits in chair below fender.) MADGE. (Coming down R.c.j Yes, Celia, tell us ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 25 all about him. Who is he? (Sits L. of table R.J CELIA. (Standing by chair R. of table L. Slowly) Well he is in the army. RALEIGH. (Quickly to STEELED A soldier, eh? SVELYN. What's his rank? CELIA. He's a cap a colonel dear a colonel. (FARADAY center, GRICE up L.C., RALEIGH and STEELE up L.C. EVELYN L. of table L.) FARADAY. Colonel? What's his name? CELIA. (Pause) Smith. (They all show pained surprise.) FARADAY. Smith ? CELIA. Yes, John Smith. FARADAY. Smith huh (Genially) Well, of course the dear fellow isn't to be held responsible for that. Eh, Admiral? (Joins AUNT IDA and GRICE up c.) GRICE. (To FARADAY. Coming down R.cJ Miss Faraday engaged? You might knock me down with a feather. My dear, I congratulate yo him, my dear, him. CELIA. (Smiling and shaking hands with GRICE,) Thank you, Admiral, thank you. RALEIGH. (Up L.C. to STEELE) Engaged! STEELE. By George ! (They contemplate CELIA from a new point of view.) FARADAY. (Up R.C. with AUNT IDA. Smiling broadly and rubbing his hands together) Good old John Smith! EVELYN. (Patronizingly) Well, Father, he may be one of the good Smiths, you know. MADGE. (From chair R.) If Celia would only stop being such a clam, and tell us. CELIA. But, Madge dear, I have told you. 26 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI FARADAY. (Comes down stage to R. of Well, Celia, I suppose he will be coming to see us soon? CELIA. Oh, yes father after the war. (Lean- ing back on chair R. of table L.J PHYLLIS. (Quickly) The war? (All show surprise and interest.) CELIA. Yes, you see he sailed this morning on board a troop ship, for Somaliland. It was just within an hour of his leaving that he spoke to me. FARADAY. But during that hour he might have told you something about himself. PHYLLIS. Oh, Father ! How absurd ! On occa- sions of that kind, an hour passes very quickly, (Turns to TARVER and smiles.) (All laugh.) FARADAY. Well, I remember that when I pro- posed to your mother, I told her my life history three times over in the first hour. (Goes up stage.) EVELYN. (Deprecatingly) Oh, Father! (To CELIA ) What's his regiment? CELIA. Oh, it is a very good one, Evelyn dear. It's one of the West African ones, you know. It has green thing-a-majigs all down the front. (EVELYN goes up L. and crosses R.J TARVER. It sounds like a garden party. MADGE. Well, but Celia (Rises, comes to CELIA and offers hand and passes CELIA in front of her to chair L. of table R.) PHYLLIS. Oh, yes, do tell us. CELIA. (Sitting L. of table R. Eagerly, to get rid of the questions) But there is very little to tell. ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 27 (RALEIGH and STEEL.E drop down R.C. EVELYN joins them. AUNT IDA is back of CELIA. GRICE is c. MADGE L. of CELIA. FARADAY drops down behind CELIA'S chair to R. of AUNT IDA. They are new all grouped about CELIA'S chair, except TARVER, who is in chair below fender. They all show smiling interest.) CELIA. Well, you see, we had been together in the house all the week and er this morning I was in the garden alone and and he joined me. (Pause.) And er it was then. (Covers her -face in mock confusion.) (All laugh sympathetically.) PHYLLIS. (From sofa) What did he say? CELIA. (Looks at TARVER and PHYLLIS and wav- ing toward TARVER,) Oh, you know. (All laugh.) PHYLLIS. And are you happy? CELIA. (Looking at group bending over her) Well, I really believe that this change will make a' very great difference in my life. FARADAY. (Patting CELIA on shoulder) Well, I hope so, my dear child, I hope so. Now, let's go back and finish our rubber. (There is a general bright "buzz of conversation, such as "By jove!" 'Til bet it does," "Why, yes, Celia," "Well, I should think it would," "In- deed it will," etc. FARADAY goes up ta card room with EVELYN, GRICE and AUNT IDA. They resume their bridge game in former po- sitions. MADGE catches TARVER'S eye and they join each other up R V evidently talking about 28 GREEN STOCKINGS AGTI CELIA'S engagement. PHYLLIS stops on sofa, talking across to CELIA, as CELIA glances over the remaining envelopes and slips them into the large blue envelope, in view of audience.) RALEIGH. (To STEELE, L.C.) It's obvious that Smith didn't find it difficult. STEELE. (Who is R. of RALEIGH. Looking thoughtfully at CELIA,) No, he didn't. Perhaps, we have all been mistaken. You know she isn't so bad looking if you look long enough. (STEELE starts to cross to CELIA. RALEIGH stops him and goes over himself. STEELE comes back of chair L.J RALEIGH. Miss Faraday, / haven't congratulated you yet. I hope you won't go off to Southampton soon again. We all missed you dreadfully when you were away. (STEELE shows impatience at RALEIGH'S talking to CELIA. I'm sure you did. My coming back as I've done seems to have made a very great difference. RALEIGH. Oh, great. Believe me, great. Well, youVe every good wish of mine. (Gushingly extend- ing his hand, which CELIA takes amusedly.) CELIA. (Warmly) I am sure I have, Mr. Raleigh. FARADAY. (From card room) Come, Raleigh. RALEIGH. (Over his shoulder) But you threw down your cards. FARADAY. Well, I'm going to take them up again. GRICE. (Impatiently) Come along, Raleigh! STEELE. (Triumphantly motions RALEIGH back to card room and eagerly takes his place beside CELIA'S chair) What Raleigh has just said, I most warmly echo, my dear Miss Faraday. (RALEIGH returns and takes STEELE by the arm.) ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 29 RALEIGH. You are wanted over here, Steele. (CELIA watches them with amusement.) STEELE. But I am cut out. RALEIGH. (Taking STEELE back to card room) Well, you can cut in again. ( STEELE goes reluctantly back to card room, protest- ing to RALEIGH and looking back over his shoul- der at CELIA as he goes. Those in card room resume former positions and go on with bridge game.) MADGE. (Coming down to CELIA and putting her arms around her) Celia ! (TARVER strolls up to morning room and sits right of table and begins reading again.) CELIA. Yes. MADGE. The Indian Mail goes out to-night via Brindisi and Port Said. CELIA. Well ? MADGE. Port Said. That's where letters to Somaliland will be transferred. (CELIA is startled.) PHYLLIS. Oh, of course you must write to him. (Jumps up, runs up to writing table R.C., brfngs blotter from table, containing sheets of paper, en- velopes, pens and ink, and puts them on magazine table; stands above and to the R. of CELIA.,) CELIA. (Protestingly) But it's too late. MADGE. No, the post doesn't go until ten. You have just time. PHYLLIS. (Opening blotting pad and ink well) 30 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI You must, if it is only a note. He will be expecting something. CELIA. Oh, I couldn't write in such a hurry. PHYLLIS. (Forcing pen into CELIA'S hand) You must. CELIA. (Laughingly) Well, I can't write with you two at my elbows, you know. (MADGE goes slowly up into card room, turning and smiling at CELIA as she goes.) PHYLLIS. (Running up and around and down to foot of sofa) I shan't look. (Kneels on Chesterfield sofa, facing CELIA) What do you call him? CELIA. (At a loss) I don't know. PHYLLIS. (Surprised) You don't know ? CELIA. (Recovering herself) I mean, dear, I use a pet name. PHYLLIS. Oh, lovely, what is it ? CELIA. Really, it's too absurd, you know, Phyllis. It's it's Wobbles. PHYLLIS. (Laughing and surprised) Wobbles ! CELIA. Yes, dear. Everybody calls him Wob- bles. PHYLLIS. (Laughing) Celia, it's delicious. Fancy your being married to a man called Wobbles ! (Pretending to write in the air) "My darling Wobbles." (Laughs and runs up to TARVER, who is seated reading in the morning room, saying as she goes) Bobby, what do you think ? (She tells TAR- VER the name of CELIA'S fiance in dumb show as she sits opposite him ) CELIA. (Writing) "My darling Wobbles." (TARVER laughs. Laugh in card room.) CELIA. (Looks around to see that no one is over- looking or watching her. Writes) "I hardly know ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 31 how to write you. It all seems too hauntingly beauti- ful to be true. I see your face everywhere Wobbles. The very tulips have a look of you. Oh, dearest, don't get wounded in the war." (Leans back and laughs to herself) Good Heavens, when I got up this morning, did I ever think that I should be doing anything like this? (Resumes writing) "This is my first love letter, Wobbles, but even I know how it ought to end. Crosses, Wobbles, crosses. One, two, three, four, five, nought, nought, nought, nought, nought. To be taken as required. Thine forever. Celia Faraday." (PHYLLIS comes to right of sofa and hands envelope to CELIA.) Thank you, dear. (TARVER strolls down center, looking at CE- LIA. CELIA turns letter face down on blotter to pre- vent its being seen by PHYLLIS. Then seeing that she is being scrutinised by TARVER and PHYLLIS, she takes envelope from PHYLLIS, places letter in it, ad- dresses it and seals it. Addressing letter) "Colonel Smith, Field Force, Somaliland, Africa." TARVER. I say, Miss Faraday. CELIA. Yes. TARVER. I hope awfully that you will help me in my election. RALEIGH. (Speaking from card room, turning in his chair and holding card aloft) Yes, it's just girls like you, Miss Faraday, who win the day. TARVER. Righto ! ! GRICE. (Thumping the table) Have you none of that suit, sir ? RALEIGH. (Whirling around and playing) Oh, yes, I beg your pardon. (MADGE comes to desk, gets her letter, goes down to foot of sofa and hands it to PHYLLIS. STEELE sees that CELIA has finished letter and comes slowly down c.) 32 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI CELIA. Of course, I will help you, Mr. Tarver. It's awfully nice to have you ask me for help, you know. TARVER. Oh, thanks awfully. (Goes up and around to PHYLLIS, who is on sofa, talks to MADGE and PHYLLIS.,) STEELE. You have finished, Miss Faraday? CELIA. Yes. STEELE. May I put that letter in the box for you? CELIA. No, thanks. I will see to it. STEELE. Well wouldn't you like to come and play a game of billiards ? CELIA. No, thank you. I really must go and change my shoes. (Indicating her feet) You can see that these are quite damp. STEELE. (Most graciously) I can't be expected to see things so small as that. But (Getting chair from left) Won't you let me talk to you for just a minute ? CELIA. (Rising) I really must go and change. (STEELE disconsolately and slowly puts back chair, leaving it turned on stage. He stands watching CELIA for a moment, then walks up L. of table L., looking at big picture on left wall as he goes. NOTE : EVELYN should give him a signal when CELIA exits.) MADGE. I will go with you, dear. (Goes to door R.I and takes the knob in her hand.) (TARVER sits on fender, leans over and talks intently to PHYLLIS.^ CEJLIA. No, don't bother, Madgie. MADGE. It's no bother. I have a lovely new frock ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 33 I want to show you. You might want to copy it for your trousseau. (Exit R.) CELIA. (Puzzled) My trousseau? (Recovers herself) My trousseau, oh, yes, yes, my trousseau. (Looks quickly and vainly about for some place to hide letter, either in her dress or under the table. No one is looking at CELIA during this business. She sees large blue envelope in which she has already placed two unopened letters. NOTE: The flap of this large envelope must be turned in. She quickly holds it up and slips the letter to SMITH inside and hides it between the periodicals on lower end of table. She then looks around to see that no one has observed her and exits quickly R.) (PHYLLIS beckons to TARVER and he sits beside her on sofa. Immediately CELIA exits, STEELE starts after her. When he gets down R.C., RALEIGH rushes after him, carrying a card.) RALEIGH. Where are you going? STEELE. I thought perhaps Miss Faraday might let me put on her slippers. RALEIGH. (Taking STEELE by the arm) Well, she is not going to put them on in the hall. She has gone to her room. You come back here. GRICE. (Shouts loudly and bangs table and jumps up) Raleigh! FARADAY. Is this a game of bridge or a game of tag? RALEIGH and STEELE. I beg your pardon! (They rush back to card room and RALEIGH plays card that he has carried away.) FARADAY. There now, he revoked too, and that's game and rubber. (STEELE strolls down extreme L., goes R. a few steps 34 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI and stands watching door where CELIA has made her exit.) RALEIGH. (Coming down R.C V also looking tow- ard door R.I,) Do I owe anything? (FARADAY goes c. up stage. GRICE comes c. down stage. EVELYN comes R. of L. table with a bridge score in her hand.) GRICE. (Coming down center above and to the L. of RALEIGH^ Do you owe anything ? You have re- voked, lost the rubber, played the worst game I have ever seen, and now you ask if you owe anything. Yes, you owe Lady Trenchard three and six. (RALEIGH turns L. to EVELYN and pays her.) FARADAY. (Moving R. toward morning room) Come and have a whiskey and soda. TARVER. Whiskey and soda. What, ho! (He rises.) (GRICE, FARADAY and TARVER exit through morning room. Enter MARTIN L.I with salver. STEELE starts for door R.I and gets to door. RALEIGH goes up to morning room. Just as he gets to the door, he sees STEELE, who is about to exit . after CELIA J RALEIGH. No, you don't, Steele. You come along here. (STEELE goes up R. of sofa and exits with RALEIGH, protesting. There is a general lively subdued conversation during these exits.) ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 35 MARTIN. (When only PHYLLIS and EVELYN are left on the stage) It is time for the letters, your Ladyship. EVELYN. (Goes L. above table, adding up her bridge score and deferring the matter to PHYLLIS,) Oh, Phyllis. PHYLLIS. (Crossing to MARTIN with letter that MADGE has given her) Here's one of Mrs. Rock- ingham's. (MARTIN comes c,, takes it and turns to door L. PHYLLIS turns back R. Stopping) Oh, Martin. (MARTIN stops at table R.) Has Miss Far- aday given you one ? MARTIN. No, Miss. PHYLLIS. I will call her Wait a minute Perhaps she left it here. (Warn electrician for lights out. PHYLLIS looks about on table and writing desk f then returns to. table. She aimlessly rummages through pile of periodicals at foot of table, knocking them off on the floor. In replacing them, she comes across blue envelope, and in picking this itp by one corner, the letters that CELIA has put in it, including the "Smith" letter, fall to the floor. She goes to re- place the letters, sees the "Smith" letter, and speaks) Oh, here it is. (Reads address) Colonel John Smith, Somaliland. (Crosses and gives letter to MARTIN and he exits L.I. She returns to table, places two of the magazines back on it, then the large blue envelope in which she has replaced other letters, and then the rest of the magazines on top of these. All this should be done quickly and unconsciously, PHYLLIS humming while she is doing it.) EVELYN. (After PHYLLIS has replaced magazines) I wonder who he is. Oh, let's look him up in the army list. (Gets army list from book slide, table L. ) PHYLLIS. Oh, let's. (Crosses to EVELYN and together they turn over the pages to the S's. Read- ing) "Smith Smith Smith Smith" Oh, here it is. "J. N. Smith, D. S. O." 36 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI EVELYN. (With mild surprise) Distinguished Service Order. PHYLLIS. (Reading) "West African Rifles." EVELYN. (Crossing R. to morning room) I sup- pose that's the man. PHYLLIS. It must be. (Replaces army list in book slide and runs after EVELYN toward morning room to electric light switch by door) The Rifles wear green thing-a-majigs on their tunics, don't they? EVELYN. Yes, I think they do. (PHYLLIS switches off light and then EVELYN puts out lamp in the morning room as they exit chat- ting. The room is lighted now only by the fire- light and light in card room. As soon as the stage is clear, CELIA enters cautiously. She goes to table R., looks for large envelope, finds it and throws it quickly into the fire, not looking at its contents. She stands thinking a moment, then goes to table L., looks at book rack, snatches out army list, crosses and, after making sure that it is the army list by looking at it in the firelight, throws it into the fire. NOTE: The electrician should at this point flash on and off a thirty-two amber lamp in the fireplace to give the impres- sion of the burning of the envelope and army list that CELIA has thrown into the fire. AUNT IDA, who has remained out of sight in the card room, enters as CELIA crosses to fire with book.) AUNT IDA. Why, Celia. CELIA. (Turns around, startled. Goes to light switch up R. and turns on lights) Oh, it's you, Aunt Ida. AUNT IDA. (Comes down and crosses to center and sees book in flames) Celia, what was that ? ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 37 CELIA. (Sitting on fender and swinging her foot) That? The army list. AUNT IDA. The army list? And you burned it? Celia! CELIA. Well, Aunt Ida. AUNT IDA. (Beside chair L. of table R. In low voice, almost tearfully) Celia, darling, have you been doing something foolish? (CELIA laughs.) Is there is there anything peculiar about Colonel Smith? CELIA. (Smiling) What would you call pecu- liar, Aunt Ida ? AUNT IDA. (With great gentleness, but evidently distressed) Forgive me, dearest. It is is there anything about Colonel Smith you don't want the family to know ? CELIA. Yes. (Going to AUNT IDA above chair R. Laughs) There is something about Colonel Smith I don't want the family to know. (Laughs.) AUNT IDA. Why, isn't he what you said? CELIA. (Looking at. AUNT IDA and laughing) He is not. AUNT IDA. (Timidly) No ? CELIA. He is not! ! (CELIA, above chair R V swings AUNT IDA into it.) AUNT IDA. Mercy, child ! Don't drive me crazy ! He is not not what ? CELIA. Not at all. (Looks at AUNT IDA and be- gins to laugh irrepressibly.) AUNT IDA. Celia! CELIA. (Bends above AUNT IDA, putting her arms about her from back and kissing her neck) Hush listen, dear Will you swear you won't betray me? AUNT IDA. But Celia ! CELIA. Will you promise, Aunt Ida? I know I can trust you if you will only really promise never 38 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI to breathe a word of what I am going to tell you to any living being? AUNT IDA. Well but I am not sure. CELIA. Oh, very well, then if you don't want to (Crosses to chair R. of table L. and sits.) AUNT IDA. No, no, Celia, I promise. There now, I have promised. CELIA. Very well, then. (Slowly and empfatic- ally) There isn't any Colonel Smith. AUNT IDA. (Helplessly) There isn't any Colonel? CELIA. None. AUNT IDA. Then who is he? CELIA. He isn't. I invented him. AUNT IDA. (Rising) But, Celia your engage- ment? CELIA. Well, naturally I invented that too. AUNT IDA. Celia Faraday, you are not telling the truth. CELIA. (Shaking her head) No. AUNT IDA. (Going towards CELIA) You are de- ceiving everybody. CELIA. Yes. AUNT IDA. You are being frightfully immoral. CELIA. Yes. AUNT IDA. (Startled) And how on earth are you going to keep them from finding out ? CELIA. (Taking AUNT IDA'S hand) Well, first of all, dear, a regiment did sail for Somaliland this morning. AUNT IDA. Yes, but regiments sail back. CELIA. Wobbles won't. AUNT IDA. Wobbles ? CELIA. (Laughing to herself) Isn't that a heav- enly name, Aunt Ida, Wobbles? AUNT IDA. (Turning auvy from CELIA reprov- ingly) Celia ! CELIA. (Still seated, throwing out her arms with a ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 39 big gesture) Oh, the difference that dear, dear man is going to make in my life. Oh, the difference. AUNT IDA. (Going back to CELIA an d putting her hand on her shoulder) Oh, my dearest child. Do give up this mad scheme and come back with me and be happy in Chicago. CELIA. Oh, I couldn't give it up now. It's going to be too much fun. Now be a dear and stand by me through this and then I'll go to Chicago and stay there forever, but first let me have this one mad ex- perience, do let me enjoy my blushing triumph as a brave and absent soldier's adored fiancee. (Crosses to table R. and straightens writing things.) Do you know, Aunt Ida, I just loved writing that first love letter to him just now. AUNT IDA. But Celia, your letter!!! CELIA. That is all right, dear. I burned that. Do you know what I am going to do, Aunt Ida? (Suddenly throwing herself in chair L. of table R.) AUNT IDA. What? CELIA. I am going to make it a point now to shut myself alone in my room every afternoon for hours let someone else look after the house and the ser- vants while I correspond with Wobbles. (AUNT IDA laughs.) I am going to give myself a chance at last. I'm going to do all sorts of wonderful things. AUNT IDA. (Down c.) What? CELIA. (Rising and coming to her) I don't know what, but I'm going to do them. One day I'll wear a haunted look in my eye as I gaze sadly toward Somaliland. I wonder where it is. (Looks around.) The next, I'll have a merry laugh or else a mocking smile. By day, Til wander through the woods and think of him. By night, I'll sit before the fire and dream of him. AUNT IDA. Celia! Celia! CELIA. Oh, I know I'll be a perfect fool, but I'll be the only one who will know it, and if one little fib 40 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI can turn this household upside down, I am going to keep it there now just as long as it pleases me. (Saunters right.) AUNT IDA. (Frightened) Celia, suppose you are found out ! CELIA. (Coming back c.) Now, what should I do ? My heroic Wobbles my beloved Colonel Smith will die in Somaliland. (Going to magazine table, gets calendar, comes down c. to AUNT IDA and runs over leaves.) Now, let me see when when will he die? (Stop's at a leaf.) On October nth. There, now, it is all arranged. (She replaces calendar on table.) After eight brief months of the most perfect understanding, I shall lose Wobbles. After eight months, I'll write out a notice of his death and you will send it to the Times. AUNT IDA. (Slowly) To The Times? I? CELIA. Yes. AUNT IDA. Never. (Sits R. of table L.) CELIA. What? Not if I promise to go with you to Chicago? (AUNT IDA shakes her head.) And you know how much you always wanted me to do that. Oh, yes, you will, Aunt Ida. (Goes to her.) I'll buy the tickets to-morrow. You shall have the very nicest cabin on the whole ship. On October nth we will kill off the Colonel and the very next day we will sail away, we'll sail away. (Crosses R. gayly.) AUNT IDA. I tell you, I will not help you. It's too immoral. CELIA. Oh, very well, then. Have I, or have I not, proved now that I can help myself ? AUNT IDA. (Rising and coming c. Half angry, half laughing) Are you, or are you not, ashamed of yourself, Celia Faraday? CELIA. Ashamed? I? Why, no, not the least little bit in the world. I don't believe I was ever so happy in all my life. ACT i GREEN STOCKINGS 41 AUNT IDA. Oh, oh ! CELIA. It's all very well, dear, for you to "Oh, oh !" at me, but I ask you, Aunt Ida, have you ever been pitied and patronized as I was here to-night, as I have been all these years, and looked upon as old and ugly and dowdy and dull ? AUNT IDA. (Sympathetically) Not that, Celia, not that. CELIA. Oh, don't think I don't know those things about myself. I do, but I don't like to hear them all the time, just the same. Have you ever been a wall-flower at every ball you have gone to, while all the other girls danced and had a perfectly lovely time ? Have you ever been seated next to the oldest, deafest members of the community at every dinner party you have gone to ? Positively, Aunt Ida, I've grown so now that I can't talk at a dinner party except through an ear trumpet. . (Goes R. and then returns.) And, if that Tarver creature or a Jim Raleigh or that old fossil of an Admiral or any other mortal trouser-wearing remnant of humanity had ever condescended to propose to me, there isn't a man or woman in this entire household, beginning with Martin and the boot boy, who wouldn't respect me and treat me quite differently in consequence. AUNT IDA. Yes, I know it. CELIA. Oh, don't / know it? AUNT IDA. Yes, it has been pretty well rubbed in. CELIA. Yes, I should say it has. Well, it has just been rubbed in so hard to-night that, as Phyllis would say, the straw has broken the worm's back and the worm has turned at last. Never, never, never again will I be content to be what I have been all these years. "Good old Celia." (Walking R.j Yes, "Nice old thing." (Walking to c.) Celia who doesn't want things and Celia who looks after things and Celia who doesn't mind things and Celia who attends to things. Well, Celia who attends to things 42 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTI is dead. Now everything attends to Celia. (Warn curtain. From now on, gay and laughing and walk- ing to and fro across stage with AUNT IDA slowly, her arm around AUNT IDA'S waist.) When the day begins and Father shouts, "God bless my soul, what's the matter with this coffee?" (Turns right) I'll be upstairs in bed, drinking chocolate. And then, when the evening comes and Martin says, "Beg pardon, Miss, but the whiskey is out," I'll say, "I don't care. Colonel Smith doesn't drink." (Turns L.) Instead of keeping house accounts, I'm going to write my love letters, and instead of ordering groceries, I'm going to order frocks, and wait until you see the frocks I'm going to order. (They stop walking.) I'm going to be a blazing dream. I'll be younger than the youngest of them, gayer than the gayest, and what do I care now what any of them say or do or think about me? I'll wear just as many green stockings as they wish at as many weddings as they please, and I'll laugh and I'll sing and I'll dance them into holes, because why? Well, I'll have a sweet- heart of my own, don't you see? I'll be the lady love of Wobbles. (Waves her handkerchief in the air and she and AUNT IDA embrace, laughing heart- ily.) QUICK CURTAIN (Running time, thirty to thirty- five minutes, depend- ing on laughs.) ACT II SCENE: Same as Act I. There is a slight rearrangement of furniture and addition of properties. Table and chairs L.C., moved twelve inches nearer center. Arm- chair put left of table and plain chair right of table. The lamp has been moved from table to top of cabinet L., making room for teatray laid for five people. Also on the tray is a plate con- taining plum cake, a three-shelf muffin-stand or curate, containing cakes and sandwiches, is placed below cabinet. Sewing bag, purse and army list have been removed. Throat spray for PHYLLIS behind vase on table R. A medicine bottle in room off R. Embroidery on table R. for PHYLLIS. Election speech (a roll of fools- cap paper) on cabinet L. for TARVER. Waste- paper basket removed. The curtains are drawn closer than in Act I and card table has been folded and placed against backing and chairs distributed against backing of card room. The ladies are in afternoon house dress and FARA- DAY in frock or morning coat. All the flowers are changed and autumn varieties replace those of spring. It is eight months later in the late afternoon. Halfway through the act, it grows darker and lights are required, though lights are full up to commence. As the curtain rises, PHYLLIS is seated on sofa R., doing some embroidery. EVELYN is toying with a book, seated L. of table R. MADGE is at the head of the tea table, pouring tea. FARADAY stands to left of table. 43 44 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII FARADAY. (Running over the books in book slide) Where is that army list ? It's a great nuisance, not a sign of the army list. The army list has disappeared again. I wanted to write to General Partington this morning and I couldn't find out whether he was a K. C. B. or a K. C. S. I. (AuNT IDA enters through card room in outdoor dress and comes directly down L.C. She should show signs of nervous apprehension all through the opening of the Act.) MADGE. Tea, Aunt Ida? AUNT IDA. Please. (Nervously) What's the matter, William? FARADAY. The army list has disappeared again. I haven't seen one for months. Phyllis, will you ask Celia to order another new one ? (Sits left.) PHYLLIS I do, Father, every time, but Celia always forgets it. AUNT IDA. (Sits on edge of chair, R. of table L. On tenter hooks) Has the Times come yet ? FARADAY, No. AUNT IDA. It's very late. FARADAY. (Getting up and getting muffin-stand from below cabinet, setting it between his knees) It is always very late. I eat much too much tea every day, waiting for that Times. It's not good for me. (Selects a big muffin from stand.) EVELYN. But, Father, couldn't you make up your mind to restrain yourself ? (Enter MARTIN through card room.) FARADAY. I can make up my mind all right, but I can't restrain myself. (Bites into the muffin.) MARTIN. (Announcing) Admiral Grice. AGTII GREEN STOCKINGS 45 (Enter GRIGE through card room. MARTIN comes down L. of table to door. GRICE comes down to table.) FARADAY. How do you do, Grice? Have some tea. (All greet ADMIRAL in casual tones.) GRICE. Thanks. (MADGE pours him a cup of tea. He takes it and crosses and shakes hands with LADY TRENCH- ARD and PHYLLIS, then goes and stands below fender.) i FARADAY. (Stopping MARTIN at door L.) And Martin, see that another army list is bought. Send in to Lumley at once. MARTIN. Another army list, sir? Yes, sir. (Exit L.IEj GRICE. (In an injured tone) Celia is not here! PHYLLIS. She has gone to see old Wilson, young Wilson's father. There is a rumor that he's waver- ing. FARADAY. Wavering! Wilson,? He has some influence, too. I do hate a station master who can't stick to his political principles. GRICE. What's Wilson's trouble? EVELYN. Compulsory vaccination. He can't spell it, so he's against it. GRICE. Silly ass ! Well, if anyone can settle him, it will be Celia. PHYLLIS. Yes, isn't she splendid ? I believe Celia could make anybody do anything. AUNT IDA. Have you just discovered that? GRICE. I don't think that's much of a discovery. AUNT IDA. Nor I. 46 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII MADGE. Yes, but Aunt Ida, you never really knew Celia before. AUNT IDA. Before what? MADGE. (Enthusiastically) Before she was en- gaged. Before she let herself go, before she showed us all the Celiaishness of Celia. GRICE. There isn't a finer girl in England. (Puts teacup on mantel.) No, nor a finer dinner than the one I'm giving her to-night. (Enter TARVER L.I, elaborately dressed and spat- tered with mud. He leans against jamb of door weakly. Everyone but AUNT IDA starts in sur- prise at sight of TARVER. NOTE: AUNT IDA does not participate in this scene, being wholly engrossed in the matter of the Times.) PHYLLIS. (Starting up, goes toward TARVER a few steps) Bobby ! ! ! ! TARVER. (Leaning weakly against door) I'm dead to the world. EVELYN. What has happened ? TARVER. The most awful thing. PHYLLIS. It was that dreadful ordeal of laying the corner stone, I suppose. GRICE. (Contemptuously) They asked you to lay a corner stone? TARVER. They had to have a personage. OMNES. A personage! TARVER. You see, the beastly ground was full of puddles and, just as I stepped forward with a trowel in my hand, I slipped, and GRICE. And sat down in one of them, I suppose. TARVER. That's exactly what I did do. Oh! How they all yelled. (All laugh, ADMIRAL loudest. Coming c. and limping) It's all very well for you to laugh, Admiral, but that puddle may cost us the seat. FARADAY. Tarver ! ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 47 GRICE. Tarver! Bring a trowel and a pail of mortar to my garden to-morrow morning at eleven o'clock sharp. I'll teach you how to lay a corner stone. (Gets his cup, goes up and crosses above sofa to t eatable, and puts his cup down.) (PHYLLIS comes c. to TARVER.,) TARVER. Oh, Phyllis, where are my voice loz- enges ? PHYLLIS. (Taking his arm sympathetically) They're all gone, Bobby, but Celia said she would fetch you some. TARVER. That's kind of her. My throat's awful. Where's the spray ? (PHYLLIS runs up and around to R. of sofa, getting spray. TARVER sits on stool below sofa and PHYLLIS comes down to R. of him.) PHYLLIS. (Spraying his throat) Never mind, Bobby, there are only ten days more. TARVER. (Chokes) I don't think I can last out the ten days. When that bench broke last night in the middle of my speech, I really thought it was my nervous system gone at last. GRICE. (Thunderously. Coming c.) Tarver! TARVER. (Jumps) Oh, Admiral, don't speak to me like that or I shall cry. (PHYLLIS sits on foot of sofa, her arm on TARVER'S shoulder.) GRICE, You made a mistake last night. Canada is not to the north of Alaska. TARVER. Did I say it was? (PHYLLIS shakes her head. Looks toward PHYLLIS,) Oh, how awful ! 48 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII GRICE. Tarver, you are dining with me to-night. TARVER. Yes, sir. GRICE. Bring your Atlas. We will go slowly through the countries of the world in my study af- terwards. PHYLLIS. (Rises quickly) Oh, but you can't, Admiral. There's the Philharmonic concert after your dinner party, and we all have to go to it. TARVER. Yes, and my opponent is going to be there. PHYLLIS. If Bobby were late, it would produce a bad impression. GRICE. Then come before dinner. TARVER. (Rising) But, Admiral, I haven't writ- ten a word of my election speech yet except "Gen- tlemen" and that's a lie. GRICE. (Threateningly) Tarver ! Wilson is not the only elector in the Lumley division who is wavering. PHYLLIS. (Starts) Oh, Admiral ! FARADAY. (Seated L.) You, Grice, you? PHYLLIS. Oh, you couldn't vote against Bobby! GRICE. Perhaps not, but I might try. TARVER. Oh! I'll bring my Atlas! (Speaks despairingly. Turns up R._, looking for tonic.) PHYLLIS. (Running to ADMIRAL) Oh, yes, Bob- by will be delighted to bring his Atlas. GRICE. Bobby will be delighted to take away his Atlas. (MARTIN enters L.I with copy of the "Lon- don Times" and a small folded periodical on salver.) Tarver, geography, eight o'clock sharp. Dinner, eight fifteen. (Turns to table.) MARTIN. The Times, sir. FARADAY. At last. GRICE. Ah, the Times ! AUNT IDA. (Rising in alarm and backing up stage from chair. GRICE takes her place in chair.) Oh, the Times, the Times ! ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 49 TARVER. Oh, Phyllis, where is that bottle of Guy's tonic? PHYLLIS. It is out here, Bobby. (Exit in the morning room.) TARVER. (Following her) Thanks awfully. I needed it badly. (MADGE takes periodical and begins to read. FARA- DAY takes the outer sheet of the Times, pulls it off, and throws it across table. It falls to floor R. of table. GRICE stoops to pick it up. EVELYN takes it from his Jmnd as he rises, saying, "Thank you, Admiral" GRICE looks at her disgustedly and sits twiddling his thumbs. NOTE : The outer sheets of the Times must be stuck together in order to have them fall prop- perly. NOTE : The birth, marriage and death column of the Times is in the upper left hand corner of the first page. EVELYN, MADGE and FARADAY have become absorbed in their papers. GRICE looks about him and then, exasperated, seizes a book and sits R. of table L., reading it.) FARADAY. (After a pause) I never saw a paper like this. (Strikes paper with back of his hand.) There is absolutely nothing in this paper. (TARVER and PHYLLIS re-enter, go to fender and sit. TARVER has had his clothes brushed.) GRICE. I never saw a paper with anything in it. (Pause.) How about the bye-elections? FARADAY. (Grunting, absorbed in his paper) Huh! (Long pause.) EVELYN. (Reading front page) Oh, Madge, Elsie Hardiman is engaged. MABGE, Not really? AUNT IDA. (From up stage, comes slightly R.C. 50 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII Uneasily and anxiously 'watching EVELYNJ Isn't there isn't there any other news, Evelyn? EVELYN. No, dear. AUNT IDA. Anybody married ? EVELYN. No one we know. AUNT IDA. (With a forced attempt at cheerful- ness) Or dead ? EVELYN. (Absently. Looking over paper) No, dear. Ab so lutely noth (Her eye suddenly lights on SMITH'S death notice. She reads it in pan- tomime. A look of horror comes over her face and she utters a shrill scream.) (All rise hastily with exclamations.) FARADAY. (Jumping to his feet) God bless my soul ! What's the matter, what's the matter ? TARVER. Great Scott ! What's the matter ? MADGE, What is the matter, Evelyn ? GRICE. (Coming center) Really, Lady Trench- ard, you ought not to startle people like that. It's selfish. (Goes to her, takes paper from her limp hand and comes down stage.) What's the news, eh? FARADAY. (Taking paper from GRICE with im- portance, and crossing L.) I'll tell you. EVELYN. (In hushed whisper) Father, the deaths, the deaths ! (During the following scene, GRICE is fairly dancing with impatience.) FARADAY. (Reads death notice and sits heavily extreme L. with a sigh) Poor girl ! MADGE. (From above table) Father. (FARADAY hands paper to MADGE, saying, "Read, read.") ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 5* PHYLLIS. (After a slight pause runs across stage to MADGEJ What is it, Madge? MADGE. Oh, Phyllis. PHYLLIS. (Stands by MADGE, takes paper and reads) That does seem cruel, doesn't it? GRICE. Why do people want to keep the news to themselves ? (Takes paper away from PHYLLIS and comes down c. He reads) Whew ! (Stands rumi- nating) Well, well, well, well ! (Holds paper to him.) TARVER. (Seated in chair below fender. Plain- tively) Will somebody kindly tell me what's hap- pened ? GRICE. Always thinking of yourself, Tarver. (Reads slowly and impressively) "On October the nth of wounds at Berbera, Somaliland Colonel Smith." TARVER. (Feeling that he must say something) On October the nth that is tough, isn't it? FARADAY. Yes, it's hard. I've been inquiring about rooms at the Club. I didn't expect this. PHYLLIS. (At head of table) It's more terribly and cruelly hard on Celia than it would be upon any other woman. GRICE. (Putting paper on table) Why? PHYLLIS. Because (Breaks off.) Don't you remember the night when she told us of her engagement eight months ago. She said then that her betrothal would make an extraordinary differ- ence in her life. (READY Doorbell.) EVELYN. Then she wasn't happy. Now she is. MADGE. And when she is, this blow falls without even a telegram to break the force of it. PHYLLIS. It is too horrible. Nothing but an an- nouncement in the Times sent by post. 52 GREEN STOCKINGS AGTII (NOTE: The voices in each succeeding line should descend in scale.) MADGE. On October the i ith TARVER. Of wounds FARADAY. At Berbera- EVELYN. Somaliland GRICE. Colonel Smith- TARVER. (Rising and coming L. to stool below table) By Jove ! If Celia withdraws from the con- test, I'm done. (Doorbell rings off L. TARVER sits on stool.) GRICE. (Alarmed) Wasn't that the front door- bell? MADGE. (Coming dozvn stage) Who is to break the news to her? GRICE. (Pauses, looks around and suddenly points to TARVER) Tarver. TARVER. (Springs to his feet in horror) Me? No, no. I think it needs a woman's voice. (Waving his hands feebly up and down in front of him) A woman's gentle fingers. FARADAY. God bless my soul ! It isn't going to be broken to her in the deaf and dumb alphabet. EVELYN. Let's leave Father to break the sad news to her. FARADAY. Me! No, no. I might break down. Someone outside the family would have more com- mand over their emotions. Some old, warm-hearted friend. (Pause, while GRICE shows alarm.) Grice, for instance. GRICE. Me! No, no. Ah! I have an idea. (Comes down stage, and FARADAY, MADGE, EVELYN and TARVER gather about him, FARADAY L., MADGE L.C., GRICE c., EVELYN R.C., TARVER R. Slowly, seri- ously and impressively) Let us all break it to her ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 53 gently when she comes into the room. I'll give the signal one, two, three and then we'll all say together and very gently, "Colonel Smith is dead." (Looks for approval and they all turn away in dis- gust.) (FARADAY goes extreme L., MADGE back to head of table L., TARVER extreme R. and EVELYN to chair R.C.J AUNT IDA. (Coming down stage) Hadn't you better leave it to me? (All show tremendous relief.) MADGE. Of course. FARADAY. You are the very person. GRICE. Hush! Now everybody try to be quite calm and natural and act as though nothing whatever had happened. Oh ! ! ! The Times ! (All rush for the Times. GRICE seizes outer sheet of Times and looks wildly about for some place to hide it. In desperation, he thrusts it up his coat at the back. PHYLLIS seizes a sheet, runs up and hides it under piano cover. MADGE also seizes a sheet and hides it behind curtain of card room. GRICE sits R. of L. table. Everyone as- sumes strained positions with set grins on their faces. Enter CELIA, L.I entrance. She brings with her two small packages wrapped in tissue paper. She is dressed elaborately in outdoor costume and carries a light muff.) CELIA. (Brightly) Good afternoon, everybody. (All give a short, nervous giggle, pause and then say 54 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII together, "Good afternoon, Celia" CELIA crosses to chair L. of table.) FARADAY. (Coming down L. of CELIA, offering to take her muff) Allow me, dear. CELIA. (Giving it to him) Oh! Thank you, Father. (FARADAY holds both his hcmds in muff. PHYLLIS solicitously takes CELIA'S gloves.) MADGE. (In a bereaved tone, offering her a cup of tea) Celia, dear, have some tea? (FARADAY goes up and around to back, R.C.J CELIA. No, thanks, Madge. I've been having tea with the Duchess. Oh, how do you do, Admiral. (Shaking hands across table with GRICE,) You don't know how I'm looking forward to your dinner party to-night. (Sits L. of table L., unwrapping two small parcels and placing tissue paper on book slide.) GRICE. (Very gloomily) It was a good dinner. I suppose that now (FARADAY coughs and all in a strained whisper say, "Admiral!") TARVER. (Rising and coming c.) Did you man- age to catch Wilson? (TARVER'S question shocks all.) PHYLLIS. (Trying to hush him) Bobby ! EVELYN. (In a hoarse whisper) Just at this time, too. CELIA. No, Bobby, he was out ; but see what I brought you some throat lozenges and a box to keep them in. TARVER. (Comes to her at foot of table and takes boxes from her. Lugubriously) It's awfully good ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 55 of you to think of me, Celia. (Crosses back to L.C.) Just at this time, too. (EVELYN pulls TARVER violently around R. He stag- gers across stage and falls in chair extreme R.J OMNES. Hush!!! (GRICE glares at TARVER, PHYLLIS and MADGE offer CELIA tea, FARADAY the muffin-stand, and GRICE offers her the plate of cake. All this is done quickly and simultaneously.) PHYLLIS. You had better have some tea, Celia. GRICE. (Smiling at her) Cake, with plums in it. CELIA. (Laughing) You are all very kind to me this afternoon. (They all turn away hurriedly, quickly putting down the things they have been offering CELIA and laughing nervously.) OMNES. Not at all, dear. Not unusually so. Not a bit. (Etc., etc.) GRICE. Cake, with plums in it. CELIA. (Exchanges looks with AUNT IDA, who has worked down L. after FARADAY has gone up c. AUNT IDA nods her head. Indifferently) Any news in the Times? OMNES. The Times? The Times? Why, no, I don't imagine so. Have you seen the Times? Now where has Martin put that Times? (Etc., etc. NOTE : This should come to a crescendo and then die down.) EVELYN. (In a loud, hoarse whisper to TARVERJ Oh, say something. TARVER. (Very nervously) No, I don't think there was anything, was there, Admiral ? 56 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII GRICE. (Mournfully, staring straight ahead of him) Nothing very lively. OMNES. (In a strained whisper) Admiral! FARADAY. (To relieve situation. Gayly) Now where has the Times got to ? (TARVER rises and looks in fireplace, muttering to himself.) PHYLLIS and MADGE. Where is the Times? Have you seen the Times? I wonder what could have happened to it? (Etc.) (GRICE rises and turns R. and starts up stage. The Times falls out from his back. There is general consternation.) CELIA. (Seeing Times on floor) Why, there it is, isn't it? FARADAY. (In mock, great surprise) God bless my soul ! So it is. (TARVER sinks down on fender.) GRICE, (Coming doiwi stage and picking up paper) Now, how did that get there ? CELIA. May I see it, if everyone has quite fin- ished? (Holds out hand for paper. GRICE reluc- tantly gives paper to her. She opens it and reads. All watch her, strained and anxiously. Cheerfully) Births, marriages, deaths. I always look first at that column, you know. (After a pause. Laughing a little) How very amusing! OMNES. Amusing? Celia!! Great Scott! God bless my soul ! CELIA. (Reading) "On October the nth " EVELYN. (Almost with a sob) Eleventh! CELIA. "Elsie Hardiman to Alfred Bryce." (All ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 57 give tremendous sigh of relief. Looking up) Why didn't somebody tell me Elsie Hardiman was en- gaged ? FARADAY. (Comes to chair R. of L. table and lays muff down on book rack) I wouldn't go into that, Celia. I wouldn't pursue that line of inquiry any further if I were you, my dear. (Tries to take paper.) CELIA. (Retaining her hold on paper) I just want to see if anybody is dead, Father. (Puts out a hand surreptitiously and pulls AUNT IDA near her. They all watch her with tragic anxiety. She sees notice, reads it, and utters a long, low cry of grief, then lets paper drop on table and with another long moan, rises and buries her face in AUNT IDA'S shoulder.) (TARVER curls up in chair extreme R. ; pulling his moustache.) PHYLLIS. (Making sympathetic motion forward) Celia darling. AUNT IDA. (Waving her handkerchief up and down) Sh sh sh sh ! (They stand in grief - stricken attitudes, contemplating her.) FARADAY. (Brokenly) Celia my child AUNT IDA. (Waving her handkerchief up and down) Sh sh sh sh ! EVELYN. Poor Celia! AUNT IDA. Sh sh sh sh ! (Pause.) I think she will say something soon. CELIA. (Raising a flushed, quivering face from AUNT IDA'S shoulder) So you were all trying to keep this from me? GRICE. (Coming down R .) God help us, we were. (Takes off his glasses and wipes his eyes.) PHYLLIS. Ah Celia. 58 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII AUNT IDA. (In same queer, choked way) Wouldn't it be better if you all left her alone with me? FARADAY. (Much relieved) Quite so. Quite so. Come, children. (Crosses a few steps up and right. The girls, with PHYLLIS first, MADGE, then EVELYN, form a line and, with bowed heads and folded hands, walk across tlw morning room door. TARVER rises and walks mournfully up to door.) Come, Admiral. GRICE. (Crossing up R.) No, Faraday. I'll take my leave from this house of grief. (Exits through card room.) CELIA. (Comes L.C.) Wait, Father. (The girls halt in doorway, TARVER above sofa) I only want to say that I don't intend to let this news make any difference outwardly. You see you never knew what I knew about him, so I can't expect you to realize all that I've lost. I don't see what's to be gained by any parade of grief, so I'll go to this dinner party to-night and try to act as though noth- ing whatever had happened. TARVER. (Beaming) That's splendid of you, Celia. It's much the wisest not to give way to sor- row. But you will get those votes you promised me, won't you? FARADAY. Take him away. Take him away. (EVELYN whirls TARVER around and hands him un- ceremoniously off the stage. FARADAY exits. There is a pause, then AUNT IDA and CELIA burst into hearty laughter. AUNT IDA crosses to table R., sits, and CELIA sits on the arm of her chair.) CELIA. Oh, Aunt Ida. Didn't we get through that splendidly? (GRICE re-enters through card room. They quickly turn their laughter into sobs and bury their faces in their handkerchiefs.) ACT it GREEN STOCKINGS 59 GRICE. (Coming down c.) I have been linger- ing, my dear Miss Faraday, just to grasp your hand and whisper a word of cheer. Keep up your heart, my dear. Keep up your heart. Remember there are other fish in the sea big fish. (Bows and elabor- ately exits through card room.) CELIA. Old fool ! Isn't it a mercy I'm going to escape that sort of thing? There'd be a dozen more if I gave them a chance, but instead of that I'm going with you to Chicago to live and die a spinster with an una wakened soul. AUNT IDA. (In a high tragedy tone) Celia, I have a queer feeling we're not done with this thing yet. CELIA. Why, of course we are, you dear; the steamship tickets are up in my room and I'm going with you to-morrow when you leave on the noon train. What a brick you've been through it all, Aunt Ida, what a brick! AUNT IDA. (Laughing, then recovering herself and endeavoring to be moral. Crossing L.J You you you must never do it again, Celia. CELIA. Well, it's hardly the sort of thing one can do very often. AUNT IDA. (Seriously) I never would have helped you send that notice to the Times, Celia, if if oh, dear. (Breaks down and laughs. Severely) Oh, but I consider your whole attitude most immoral. CELIA. (Meekly) Yes, Aunt Ida. I admit my behavior has been shocking and what a contrast to his. (Laughs.) AUNT IDA. (Reprovingly) Celia ! CELIA. Poor Colonel Smith ! What harm has he ever done ? Was ever a career more blameless ? He lifted me down from the shelf. Dear Colonel Smith! He died just at the right moment. Dear Colonel Smith. Oh, you know he was a true soldier. He did his work in silence. Well, peace to his ashes. 60 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII Dear Colonel Smith ! Good gracious, dear, it's get- ting late. It's time to dress for dinner. (She seizes AUNT IDA by the arm, gayly whirls her around, crosses and gets her muff from table.) (Enter PHYLLIS through morning room R. Runs down R. of sofa, calling, "Celia." They resume attitudes of grief. AUNT IDA exits through morning room, holding her handkerchief to her eyes.) PHYLLIS. (Comes c. to CELIA) Celia ! CELIA. Yes, dear. PHYLLIS. I want you to help me. Bobby is frightfully tired. Don't you think that he and I could cut the Admiral's dinner party and dine quietly at home here ? You could make it all right with the Admiral, Celia. (Enter MARTIN, with salver and card, L.IE., leaves door open.) CELIA. I'll try, dear. Martin, there will be two for dinner after all. PHYLLIS. And may we dine in the little morning room here ? (Indicating morning room.) CELIA. In the morning room ? PHYLLIS. It will be more snug. CELIA. Oh, very well, then, Martin. Dinner in the morning room. (MARTIN offers card to CELIA.,) I haven't time to see anyone now. (Crosses R. to door) Who is it? MARTIN. Colonel James Nugent Vavasour. He was sure that you would consent to see him, Miss, when you saw this card. CELIA. Vavasour? Vavasour? It's some election business, of course. Phyllis, it's your affair, after all. Attend to it for me, won't you ? ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 61 PHYLLIS. Very well. (CELIA exits R. MARTIN brings the card over to PHYLLIS. PHYLLIS takes card, reads it and utters a cry) Colonel Smith! Then, then then? (Bewildered) Then he is not dead. It's a mistake. (Runs to door R. as if to re- call CELIA.) MARTIN. It is Colonel Vavasour who has called, Miss. (Goes up to tea-table, gets tray and dishes.) PHYLLIS. But it's Colonel Smith's card. (Turns card over suddenly) Oh, it is a message. (Goes to L. of table R V sits and turns up the lamp.) Written in a failing hand. (Reads) "Good-bye. Be kind to my friend, James Nugent Vavasour." (To MARTIN, who has by now collected the dishes on tray and is below table R.J Show Colonel Vavasour in and then ask Miss Faraday to come down as quickly as she can. Just say that it really is important. MARTIN. Yes, Miss. (PHYLLIS comes L.C. quickly and arranges her hair, etc. MARTIN re-enters, announcing COLONEL VAVASOUR. COLONEL SMITH enters and stands. MARTIN closes door quietly, goes up L., crosses it back, turns on lamp on piano and exits through morning room.) SMITH. (Bowing) I am speaking to Miss Celia Faraday ? PHYLLIS. (Holding card in her hand) Oh, no. I'm her much younger sister, but I have sent for her. Won't you sit down, Colonel Vavasour? (Sits R. of L. table. SMITH sits Lj The card which you sent me proves that your errand is a sad one. I want to ask you to be very gentle in delivering your message to Celia. The news of Colonel Smith's death was first conveyed to her in to-day's "Times." SMITH. I am not very surprised to hear that. PHYLLIS. (Melodramatically) The bolt fell from 62 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII a clear sky. She received no telegram, no letter to warn her of the impending destruction of her happi- ness. (Places card on table.) SMITH. (Meaningly) No, indeed. How could she? PHYLLIS. She was happy. She loved and was loved. (SMITH turns and looks at her.) And then in a second comes Fate with its cruel shears SMITH. (Interrupting her) Excuse me, but do you write for the Sunday papers ? PHYLLIS. No, but I have been listening lately to a great number of election speeches. SMITH. I quite understand. From them those flowers of eloquence were culled. Please go on. PHYLLIS. Celia bore the blow with remarkable courage. But now comes your visit, which will upset her even more than the news of Colonel Smith's death itself. SMITH. Yes, Miss Faraday, I am quite sure that it will do that. You have made an appeal to me to deliver my harrowing message as delicately as I can. You can help me not to make mistakes. PHYLLIS. How? SMITH. By telling me where the lovers met, when they became engaged and how it all happened. PHYLLIS. But you came with Colonel Smith's card and words of recommendation written upon it by his failing hand. Didn't he tell you? SMITH. Well, you see, he was one of those great- hearted men who never speak about themselves. And towards the end, when he might have spoken, he was singularly comatose. PHYLLIS. (Sympathetically) Poor fellow! SMITH. Oh, it's dreadful dreadful ! I suppose your sister was very devoted to him? PHYLLIS. She adored him!! SMITH. Yes. That's the part I understand best. ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 63 PHYLLIS. But Celia's engagement meant more to her than it would to most women. SMITH. (Recoils slightly) Why? PHYLLIS. It had somehow got into everybody's head that Celia didn't (Looks around room) at- tract people. Poor old Celia. (SMITH turns uneas- ily in chair.) Of course, her engagement altered the whole position. SMITH. Oh, I begin to see. PHYLLIS. It was the night that 7 had just an- nounced my engagement to Mr. Tarver. Bobby was so witty about poor old Celia having to wear another pair of Green Stockings at my wedding SMITH. Ah h Then there are other sisters? PHYLLIS. Yes, there's Madge. She is between Celia and myself. SMITH. Engaged? PHYLLIS. More than engaged married. And then comes Evelyn. SMITH. Married? PHYLLIS. Much more than married. (SMITH stares.) A widow. SMITH. And Miss Celia is the eldest of you all ? PHYLLIS. Oh, yes. Well, the moment after Celia was told of my engagement, she announced hers. SMITH. To Colonel Smith. (Turns away from her with sudden understanding.) I see. PHYLLIS. (More melodramatically) You know she had met him at Southampton. (SMITH looks at her.) For a week they had been together. (SMITH turns in his chair.) Only that morning he had told her of his love. An hour later he was steaming down Southampton Water to leave his neglected bones on the arid wastes of a SMITH. (Interrupting her) Ahem! You'll ex- cuse me PHYLLIS. I beg pardon. He was on his way to Somaliland. She wrote to him that night. 64 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII SMITH. (Slowly) Yes, the letter reached him. (Tapping his pocket) I have it here. PHYLLIS. (Sentimentally) He kept it? SMITH. Yes, he kept it. He used to sit and study it by the hour. PHYLLIS. How truly beautiful. Oh, you must tell Celia that. You mustn't rob her of any of her grief. SMITH. No, that would be too bad. So there was no opportunity for Smith to come and make your acquaintance ? PHYLLIS. No, but I have heard so much of him from Celia that I could almost believe I see him. (Stares dreamily at SMITH. SMITH rises slowly , a little disconcerted. PHYLLIS rising and moving R.J Fll go and send Celia to you. (MARTIN enters through morning room.) SMITH. Thanks. Now I know where I am. MARTIN. (Stands up Rj Miss Faraday is com- ing down, Miss. (Crosses and exits L., lighting chandelier in card room.) PHYLLIS. Very well, Martin. Then I'll leave you to deliver your message alone. (Crosses to door R. and opens it, then turns) You have brought, I hope, one or two mementoes from him SMITH. (Puzzled for a moment) I beg your pardon ? PHYLLIS. Little things that Celia can treasure. SMITH. Oh, yes, yes. A few small things trifles which Smith habitually wore. PHYLLIS. (Sentimentally) Just what she will value most. (Exits R.iE.J (SMITH chuckles. He looks at his ring, but can't get it off, then at his knife. That won't do. Then at his cigarette case. That will not do. Also at o O ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 65 his bunch of keys. That won't do. He reluc- tantly takes watch and chain from his waistcoat and looks about for something to wrap it up in. He sees the tissue paper which Celia has left on book slide, gets it and wraps watch and chmn up in it, putting it in his pocket. He takes out his scarf pin, looks at it, starts to replace it in tie. He reconsiders and wraps that up too, put- ting it in his pocket. He hums a snatch of song for CELIA'S entrance. CELIA enters in evening dress R. Comes R.C. SMITH does not look up.) CELIA. Colonel Vavasour. (She speaks briskly, Jiaving no suspicion of his business. SMITH bows al- most reverentially, sighs deeply. Looks as if about to speak, is silent. His head is bowed. Impatiently) I am told that you wish to see me on important busi- ness. (SMITH nods head sadly. He looks up and, on see- ing CELIA, starts ivith pleasurable surprise for a moment.) SMITH. Upon important and lugubrious business. CELIA. Oh ? Don't tell me there's some new difficulty about Mr. Tarver's election ? SMITH. I have come to speak to you about one who is dearer to you than all the world. (CELIA is perplexed.) As soon as I read the announcement in the "Times" this morning I felt that I must come to you at once. CELIA. (Pause) Jhe announcement! in the "Times" ! (She is startled. Stares at SMITH.,) SMITH. Of the death of Colonel Smith. (CELIA is amazed; turns away quickly.) CELIA. You will forgive me, I am sure, Colonel 66 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII Vavasour, but the news of my loss is so recent that you will understand my reluctance to discuss it with a stranger. (She moves up toward morning room as though to epit.) SMITH. Don't go, please. (CELIA turns back.) It was your sister who took the card which intro- duces me. (He takes up card from table L.J See! (CELIA advances L. of table R. and takes card.) CELIA. "Colonel Smith." But there wasn't any I mean (Sits in chair.) Colonel Vavasour, I am a little overwhelmed. SMITH. (Sympathetically) I was afraid you would be. CELIA. (Staring at card) Colonel Smith ! SMITH. I bring to you his last dying message. CELIA. You knew him ! SMITH. (Comes to her) Turn that card over and read the last words written by his failing hand. (CELIA turns card over.) CELIA. "Good-bye." SMITH. Yes. (Sniffs. Very sadly) "Good-bye." CELIA. "Be kind to my friend " SMITH. "James Nugent " CELIA. "Vavasour " SMITH. Col. Smith was my dearest friend. And knowing myself as I do, I can safely say that no one else will ever take his place in my affections. CELIA. How extraordinary (SMITH looks at her.) I mean how very unselfish of you. SMITH. Ah, yes. He compelled one's love. / can appreciate possibly better than any one else how great must be your grief. (CELIA agrees mourn- fully and regards him with ludicrous suspicion. Goes to table L. and sits L. of it ) Before corning here, I ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 67 went to see his dear old people. He had never told them of his engagement, but he was always secre- tive. CELIA. Yes, very secretive. ^ SMITH. His dear little Aunt Mary was very fond of him. CELIA. Oh ! Little Aunt Mary ! SMITH. And when I told her of your engage- ment, she was most anxious to meet you. CELIA. Yes, that would be very delightful but not just yet, please not just yet. SMITH. Not just yet, of course not just yet. But possibly when time has reconciled you to your loss. She expressed the hope that some day but not just yet, of course, you and she might journey together to Somaliland with a wreath. CELIA. Yes. (Choking and turning away her head.) That's a very sweet idea. We might go out for the Xmas holidays. SMITH. Oh, I know. I can gauge, Miss Fara- day, the measure of your grief by my own. But there is just one alleviation which I am very glad to bring to you. CELIA. What is that, please? SMITH. When Colonel Smith died of wounds at Berbera, he died without any pain. CELIA. (Rising, alarmed) It is very good of you, Colonel Vavasour, to have come all the way from London to tell me this. (Starts as if to exit, holding out her hand to SMITH.,) (SMITH also rises, takes her hand and detains her c.) SMITH. This and more. I was with him at the last. How well I remember the scene. He used to lie on his sick bed gazing across the thatched roofs of Berbera to the Arab dhows riding at their an- 68 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII chors in the sea. (She turns away R.J And he gave into my hands a few small things to bring you. (CELIA turns away, horrified.) Trifles which he habitually wore. Here are a few of them. (Brings out packages containing watch and pin from pock- ets.) CELIA. Heavens ! ! No ! I couldn't think of tak- ing them. SMITH. (In surprise, holding them towards CEUAJ They were Smith's, and you couldn't take them! Ah, I understand. You had quarreled. (Puts things into pockets.) CELIA. No, we never quarreled. There was never one harsh word spoken by me to him or by him to me. SMITH. (L.C. Standing) Then why refuse his gifts? CELIA. (Goes to table R. At a loss) Well you see he had never given me anything. SMITH. (Suddenly smiles and brings out parcels again) How like Smith! How very like him! Even he had his failings. But we, who knew him so well, can afford to speak of them frankly. CELIA. I don't think you understand, Colonel Vavasour. Gifts would have been impossible in such an engagement as that which existed between him and me. SMITH. (Severely) Let Smith be the judge of that. (Goes a step toward her) Perhaps he is in this room now watching you refuse his gifts. (CELIA moves R., uneasily looking back over her shoulder. Sternly) Watching you with the pain he didn't feel when he died of wounds at Berbera. (He follows her and forces her to take the watch. She gingerly takes it and unwraps it, letting the watch fall out and hang by the chain, which she holds. It is a large, heavy gold watch of the "turnip" variety.) His watch and chain. (She lifts it up and down to show its weight.) He bids you wear it always on your ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 69 bosom. (She recoils. Pleadingly) To please Smith, whom we both loved. (She looks helplessly about for a moment and then, in essaying to hang the* watch about her neck, it slips and falls down inside her dress. They turn away from each other with varying emotions. Turning back) By Jove ! I say that's ripping of you. CELIA. I beg your pardon, sir! SMITH. (Solemnly) I am thanking you in my dead comrade's name, my dearest friend. (Bows: his head.) CELIA. (Crossing him to L.) Oh, I didn't under- stand. SMITH. (Unwraps second parcel and follows her across the stage) With this, Smith pinned his tie a curious jewel. He was very fond of it. I trust you will treasure it. (CELIA tries to refuse pin f but SMITH forces it upon her. Goes through and empties all his pockets, offering 1 cigarette case, knife, keys, etc.) And here I have a few more things. CELIA. (With a gesture of horror, retreats up stage to card room) No, no, no, no, please ! I don't want them. I (TARVER enters through morning room in dinner jacket. He shows surprise at seeing SMITH. SMITH replaces articles in his pockets.) TARVER. (At door Rj Oh, I am so sorry. I didn't know you were engaged. I think I left my election speech somewhere. CELIA. (Eagerly coming down c.) That's quite all right, Bobby. We have finished our business. Good-bye, Colonel Vavasour. It is extremely kind of you to have taken all this trouble for a stranger. (Crosses down R. as though to exit.) (TARVER crosses to cabinet L. and gets his speech.) 76 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII SMITH. (Follows CELIA to L.C.J But I haven't delivered a single word of the message I am pledged to deliver. TARVER. (Picks up speech and comes down L. of table to L. of SMITH,) I'm just going. SMITH. Don't let me drive you away, Mr. Mr. (Looks to CELIA to introduce him to TAR- VERj (CELIA has turned and walked up stage.) TARVER. Oh, my name is Tarver. SMITH. And mine is Nugent Vavasour. How do you do ? I am delighted to make your acquaint- ance. (Shakes hands with him warmly.) I have just met Miss Phyllis Faraday. TARVER. Oh, have you ? SMITH. Yes. I am just back from Somaliland. TARVER. Are you ? I say ! I don't suppose you could stay a little longer and help me with my elec- tion, could you ? (CELIA, in alarm, rushes to head of table d-nd seizes railway guide.) SMITH. (Enthusiastically) Of course I could, my dear fellow. Why didn't you mention it before ? TARVER. Well, I haven't waited very long. CELIA. (Looking at railway guide) Bobby, we couldn't think of making such a demand upon Colo- nel Vavasour's time. TARVER. Well, it's touch and go with me, you know. SMITH. And I know a great deal about elections. TARVER. (To CELIA) There! SMITH. Yes. I was once on the Committee of a Club. ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 71 (TARVER looks puzzled.) CELIA. (Looking at guide. Firmly) There's an excellent train leaving at eight-thirty. (Lays down guide, pushes chair aside and walks down R.C. be- tween chair and table.) SMITH. I shall be most happy if I can catch it, but I should be false to my friend if I went without delivering his last dying message. TARVER. You can't deliver it to-night, for Celia is going out to a dinner party. (CELIA gives BOBBY a swift, furious glance behind SMITH'S back.) SMITH. (Shocked) To a dinner party? TARVER. Why, yes, and on to a concert after- wards. CELIA. (With great dignity) It's a classical con- cert. (Pause.) By the local Philharmonic Society, and Admiral Grice, with whom we are all dining, is the most important person in the constituency. SMITH. (Sternly) So you are all going out to enjoy yourselves. TARVER. (Crossing R. and up stage) Oh, they are. Phyllis and I for once are going to stay at home and dine quietly. SMITH. (Turns toward TARVER and stops him at door) But is it wise for you, Mr. Tarver, to stay at home at this very critical time? I should have thought, knowing as much as I do about elections, that it was bad policy to offend so important a person as Admiral Grice. TARVER. (In doorway) Oh, that's all right. Celia can twist him around her little finger. He simply worships (CELIA, who has made a ball of the tissue paper on 72 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII the table, throws it at BOBBY, who exits hur- riedly without SMITH'S seeing this.) SMITH. (Sternly. Going to her) You never loved him. CELIA. (Indignantly. Moving R.) Oh! SMITH. On the evening of the very day which brings you news of his decease, you are dressed to conquer and allure. CELIA. (More indignant) Colonel Vavasour ! SMITH. You know as well as I do how at all times Smith disapproved of a decollete gown. Born and brought up in a rigid and unbending family, he never quite emancipated himself from the principles of Calvinism. You know that? (He waits for her to answer.) CELIA. (Weakly. Sinks on stool at bottom of sofa) Yes. SMITH. (Looks at her) And it's not even black ! A dinner party with an amorous Admiral. After the dinner party, the wildest gaieties ! (Goes LJ CELIA. Do you call a classical concert by the local Philharmonic Society "the wildest gaiety"? You never heard one. SMITH. (Reproachfully. Coming back to CELIA,) You know what a low opinion Smith had of all forms of music. Dangerously sensuous. How often have I heard him breathe those words when the regimental band struck up the tune of "Auld Lang Syne." (She rises; goes Rj You never loved him. Give me back the watch and chain. CELIA. (Confused) I can't You utterly fail to understand the situation, Colonel Vavasour. All the help that any of us can give is needed at this election. To-night is particularly important. The two candidates are to meet on neutral ground. ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 73 SMITH. Then certainly Mr. Tarver ought to go not yott. CELIA. But I ask you, would Colonel Smith have wished me at a time like this to shut myself alone In my room with nothing but his memory for my companion ? SMITH. He'd have loved it. FARADAY. (Entering through morning room in evening dress, carrying coat and hat) Ready, Celia, ready! (CELIA and SMITH separate, SMITH going well L. FARADAY puts coat and hat on piano stool and comes down c.) Aren't the others down yet ? CELIA. Father, this is Colonel Vavasour. FARADAY. How do you do? (They shake hands.) SMITH. How do you do? I have just returned from Somaliland. FARADAY. Oh ! Then you knew (SMITH nods; drops his head.) SMITH. My dearest friend. FARADAY. Poor fellow! Poor fellow! (SMITH looks up.) Oh, not for that reason not for that reason, of course. (LADY TRENCHARD, MADGE and PHYLLIS enter, in evening dress, followed by TAR- VER.J My daughters, Colonel Vavasour. We are only waiting for your aunt now. (LADY TRENCHARD shakes hands gushingly, crosses to SMITH and sits R. of table L., drawing on her gloves. MADGE merely bows as she crosses and joins EVELYN. PHYLLIS crosses, and joins them. SMITH goes R.C. FARADAY has gone L. at back and comes down stage L. of table L. TARVER goes directly and sits on fender.) FARADAY. (Continuing) Sorry we can't keep you to dinner. 74 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII CELIA. (Sits on lower end of sofa) That's quite all right, Father. Colonel Vavasour is obliged to return to London to-night. There is an excellent train at eight-thirty. SMITH. (Takes up railway guide which CELIA has left open on table and reads) "Stops at every station, has a two hours' wait at Bletchley, and arrives in London at three-thirty in the morning." (Looks at CELIA) An excellent train. The express goes at ten. FARADAY. Then of course you'll stay and dine here first. Martin shall look after you. SMITH. I shall be most happy. (At CELIA) I have brought a message for Miss Faraday and I shall be unable to deliver it if she goes out to dinner. CELIA. (Speaking over her shoulder) Father, you know I promised you this afternoon that I should not let this news interfere FARADAY. But, my dear child, thinking it over, we can't expect such a sacrifice. PHYLLIS. (In a whisper to MADGE,) But she must go. There's only dinner for two. FARADAY. Dinner for two! What two? TARVER. (Coming down R. to door) Well, you see, I am worn to a shadow, and Phyllis and I thought FARADAY. (Coming c.) Oh, you did! Did you? You get elected first, my lad, and think afterwards. TARVER. Oh, I say! FARADAY. Phyllis and Tarver shall dine with Admiral Grice. PHYLLIS. But, Father FARADAY. Celia and Colonel Vavasour shall stay behind and eat their dinner. TARVER. You don't know how I need a rest. CELIA. Yes, Father, Bobby is very tired. SMITH. As for myself, and I know a great deal ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 75 about elections, I think it would be extremely preju- dical if Mr. Tarver didn't go. FARADAY. Then that settles it. (TARVER exits R.IE., looking back belligerently at COLONEL VAVASOUR. EVELYN in dumb show tells PHYLLIS to get her wraps, and PHYLLIS flounces out through morning room.) MARTIN. (Entering L.I and announcing) Mr. Steele and Mr. Raleigh. (RALEIGH comes c. quickly to FARADAY. STEELE, shaking hands first with EVELYN, then stepping back and sJmking hands with MADGE, speaks from L. of MADGE near door.) STEELE. How do you do, Mr. Faraday? FARADAY. Good evening, boys. STEELE. We have both, I believed, arrived with the same idea. We are all going to the dinner party, aren't we ? I have my mother's brougham and, since you are rather a large party (Looking across at CELIA) I thought I might be allowed to give some one a lift. RALEIGH. / have come in my own motor car, and since you are rather a large party (Also looking pointedly at CELIA^ I thought I might be allowed to give some one a lift. FARADAY. It is very kind of you boys to think of us. We shall be a little bit squeezed. We are rather a large party, though Celia is not going. STEELE and RALEIGH. (Disappointedly) Not go- ing? FARADAY. No. Colonel Smith is dead. (STEELE and RALEIGH turn away and a slow smile breaks over their faces,) This is Colonel Vavasour. 76 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII and RAI^IGH eye SMITH with interest.) He knew Colonel Smith. SMITH. (L. of table R.) His dearest friend. I bring his last dying message. (CELIA rises from sofa, glances at SMITH and goes up to doorway Rj He used to lie on his sickbed, gazing across the thatched roofs of Berbera to the Arab dhows riding at their anchors in the sea. (CELIA comes down R. of sofa.) STEELE. I am sure that must be very affecting, but it will be extremely bad for the cause if Miss Faraday stays at home to-night, and this is a time when it doesn't do for any of us to be selfish. You'll come, won't you, Miss Faraday? FARADAY, (c.) Certainly not. SMITH. (R.C.J It would really be almost inde- cent to press Miss Faraday to go. (SMITH and FARADAY turn up stage.) STEELE. (Slightly piqued) Oh, very well. Then as I can't do anything for anyone, I suppose I had better be getting along. (Exits L.IE. and leaves door open.) RALEIGH. How that fellow Steele does give him- self away. Silly ass ! (Goes R. to CELIA.) I must say, Miss Faraday, that I think you are absolutely right to stay away from the Admiral's. The way that old man dogs your footsteps is positively revolt- ing, but (With insinuating smile, kneeling on stool below sofa. Fatuously) but you might come on to the Philharmonic Concert afterwards. Don't you think so ? (Laughs idiotically.) Don't you think so ? CELIA. (Shaking her head sadly) Not to-night, Mr. Raleigh. Not to-night. (Exits R.IE.) RALEIGH. Oh, very well. It's about time for me to be getting along. (Crosses quickly to door L.) { ACTII GREEN STOCKINGS 77 shall see you all at the Admiral's, (J&xits quickly, closing door.) FARADAY. God bless my soul ! I thought he came to give some of us a lift. MADGE and EVELYN. Why, yes. (AUNT IDA enters quickly through morning room and comes down R.C., looking about her.) AUNT IDA. (Gayly) Hope I am not last. FARADAY. Well, you are. (PHYLLIS and TARVER enter, TARVER in evening dress with his hat and overcoat and atlas. PHYLLIS with her wraps. TARVER goes to head of table R. and studies his atlas. PHYLLIS sits on fender.) AUNT IDA. (Looking about and fastening her gloves) Well, Celia is not down yet. MADGE. Celia isn't coming. AUNT IDA. What ! (SMITH comes down stage to L. of AUNT IDA.) FARADAY. (Coming down L.C. with SMITHJ Ida, this is Colonel Vavasour. My sister-in-law, Mrs. Chisholm Faraday. (To SMITH,) Who has been, I may say, more than a mother to our poor Celia through all this, more than a mother. SMITH. I am delighted to make your acquaint- ance. (Shakes her warmly by the hand.) Friends of Miss Faraday have a claim upon me which can never be obliterated from my mind. AUNT IDA. (Briskly) I am sure it is very pleas* ant to know that. But why ? (SMITH c v AUNT IDA to his right.) 78 GREEN STOCKINGS ACTH FARADAY. Colonel Vavasour has just returned from Somaliland. AUNT IDA. (In horror} What ! ! MADGE. From Somaliland. AUNT IDA. (Involuntarily) But why did he do that? (SMITH looks at FARADAY.) FARADAY. Eh? I don't think you understand, Ida. Colonel Vavasour is here I may say on an errand of mercy. He brings us news of our poor gallant lost friend Smith. AUNT IDA. S-S-Smith ? FARADAY. Colonel Smith. MADGE. Celia's Colonel Smith. TARVER. (Coming c. at back with atlas, beckoning to FARADAY, who joins him, and together they look over the atlas, FARADAY explaining something to TARVERJ Colonel Vavasour knew him quite well. AUNT IDA. (In awestruck voice) You knew the Co Co Colonel ? SMITH. My dearest friend. I bring to Miss Faraday a few trinkets he habitually wore and his last dying message. AUNT IDA. (Wildly. Stands rigidly, staring at SMITH,) Trinkets!! A message! ! (During the fol- lowing speech, AUNT IDA gradually becomes more and more hysterical, culminating in a series of wild shrieks of hysterical laughter and grotesque move- ments of her arms and body.) SMITH. A long message. He used to lie in his sickbed, gazing across the thatched roofs of Berbera to the Arab dhows, riding at their anchors in the sea, and (AUNT IDA, by now, is shrieking wildly and waving her arms above. MADGE runs frightened across ACT ii GREEN STOCKINGS 79 the L. of AUNT IDA and PHYLLIS runs down from fender to R. of AUNT IDA, and together they help her into chair to L. of table R. TAR- VER and FARADAY look up suddenly, startled. SMITH goes up L.C., concealing laughter. PHYL- LIS stands R. of chair below sofa, trying to hold AUNT IDA'S hand. EVELYN runs excitedly and aimlessly about, looking for smelling salts. FARADAY runs up and down extreme L., waving his arms. MADGE above chair, fanning AUNT IDA. TARVER c., fanning AUNT IDA with atlas. He kneels and fans her more vigorously. They all talk excitedly to each other, such as, "What has happened to your Aunt Ida?" "God bless my soul, can't you do something for your aunt?" "She is having a fit," "Go for a doctor," "Fan her, fan her," "Get some water," etc., etc. Dur- ing all this, AUNT IDA is still shrieking.) PHYLLIS. (At a signal from AUNT IDA) The shock has been too much for her. MADGE. She's so devoted to Celia. (AUNT IDA whoops.) FARADAY. Get some vinegar. (AUNT IDA whoops,) EVELYN. No, smelling salts. (AUNT IDA whoops.) TARVER. (Rising) Oh, hold it upside down! FARADAY. Nonsense, that's for drowning. TARVER. Here, I know a remedy. (MADGE takes TARVER'S place at L. of choir and So GREEN STOCKINGS ACTII TARVER goes up above chair, gets spray from table, leans over AUNT IDA'S shoulder