BANCROFT 
 LIBRARY 
 
 o 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
MORMONISM; 
 
 OR, 
 
 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS 
 
 EMILY M. AUSTIN, 
 
 BEING AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH; INCLUDING AN 
 
 EXPERIENCE OF FOURTEEN YEARS OF 
 
 MORMON LIFE. 
 
 MADISON, WIS. 
 
 M. J. CANTWELL, BOOK AND JOB PRINTER, KING ST. 
 
 1882. 
 
F 
 
BANCROFT 
 LIBRARY 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 To those who read this narrative, I will say, 
 no flowery words will accompany these pages; 
 and, as it is a true story, I trust it will meet the 
 approval as also the common good of all. Feel- 
 ing my incapability of doing literary work, I 
 hope to be generously pardoned for all mis- 
 takes, both in form and in language, of this little 
 history; hoping to furnish something which the 
 reader never would have had without the ear- 
 nest perseverance of the author; the benefits of 
 which, I believe, will prove to be of value to all 
 who peruse this volume carefully. There are 
 disinterested persons who have advised me and 
 even urged that I should write my experience 
 those in whom I have the utmost confidence 
 and regard, and who have had some knowledge 
 of my former experience; and through their 
 repeated requests, I have finally decided to give 
 this work to the public, hoping my efforts will 
 meet with their approbation. 
 
 I have devoted much time and, I may say, 
 unlimited attention to accomplish this task, in 
 
4 PREFACE. 
 
 view of giving an accurate account in the his- 
 torical part, the circumstances of which have 
 occurred within my own knowledge; and care- 
 fully observing to found all goodness in religious 
 principles. Some people probably may tnink 
 that that should have been excluded, but I know 
 with whom I have to deal; and I hope I may 
 thus allure those thoughtless creatures to higher 
 things. Add to this, some of my acquaintances 
 or wordly friends, are afraid I shall be too 
 Methodislical, a term which is applied to vital 
 Christianity. In that kind of prudence, there 
 is but little safety. May I therefore be strenght- 
 ened by Him who is able to make us wise, and 
 may we increase in knowledge through Christ 
 our living head. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 KEEPING a hotel at the foot of the Alleghany 
 mountains as early as the year 1813, was not a 
 very easy task, as there were no railroads, all 
 transportation of merchandise was conveyed 
 by four-horse teams, and all cooking done 
 in fire-places, and to hear teams coming 
 down the steep mountains in the dead hours of 
 night with that continual "paddy whep," 
 " paddy whep, whey," this was not a morphine 
 to sleep by, but on the contrary; every mem- 
 ber of the house was up making preparations 
 for a hungry crowd of Pennsylvania teamsters. 
 My father's family were the only New York 
 people in that vicinity, and we never learned the 
 dialect of the Pennsylvanians. The people 
 were hardy and very industrious, and in many 
 respects, obliging. Our house was conducted 
 in quietness, and I believe, prosperiety crowned 
 our most sanguine wishes consistent with the 
 view of making money. Nevertheless there 
 were things to be considered beyond the chance 
 of gain, and in view of the class of people with 
 
6 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 whom our associations were immediately con- 
 cerned, also in view of many co-operative mo- 
 tives, the minds of our parents agreed as one to 
 make our stay as limited as possible in that 
 locality. However, two or three years elapsed 
 before a removal could be made without a great 
 sacrifice. The prospects, too, were flattering. 
 Finding it a matter to be duly considered, and 
 whether it was not better to make the sacrifice 
 and remain a few years longer at least, was the 
 question. With a view of pecuniary advant- 
 ages, the latter suggestion predominated. But 
 the situation was not in anywise adapted to the 
 taste of my parents. My father's previous avo- 
 cation, that of music-teaching, had in former 
 years been attended with success. Not so in 
 keeping a boarding house. While at this we 
 had much hurry and bustle ; we had critical and 
 fastidious people to please, and, in many in- 
 stances, we were somewhat baffled to know 
 how to gain that point. 
 
 Five years had now passed and our home 
 was no longer at the Mountain House, but a 
 far happier home on the Unadilla river, in the 
 state of New York. The birds sang sweetly 
 in the trees on the river bank and in the bright 
 sunlight, and welcomed us from the shade of 
 mountain life, into a more congenial clime. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 7 
 
 My brothers and sisters all seemed to enjoy the 
 sunlight away from the mountain, amid birds 
 and flowers, and a clear purling river at the 
 lower part of our garden. I had at this time 
 four sisters and two brothers, and a more lively 
 family was never reared by parents, take the 
 world over. Our mother was the daughter of 
 Colonel Lyon, a distinguished officer in the war 
 of 1812; he was also in high standing in the 
 Masonic lodge, and was counted one of the first 
 in the most tender regards and affections of 
 good society. It is needful also to say that our 
 father was one of the foremost in the same 
 lodge and in society. Colonel Lyon was one 
 of the first settlers in Chenango county, N. Y. 
 The city now called Oxford was then known 
 as Lyon's settlement. Two or three of his 
 brothers were with him in this Indian forest, 
 and they were the only white men within 
 seventy miles. Lyon and his brothers were 
 Indian traders, and for several years this was 
 their constant business. Their buildings were 
 logs, the roofs and floors of bark; the fire- 
 places, the roots of trees. In this border home, 
 with his brothers settled around him, no man 
 could be more happy then he. They were for- 
 tunate in getting shipment for the abundant 
 choice furs which they purchased of the Indians 
 
8 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 for very small sums, and for which they received 
 large pay ; and, eventually, they became wealthy. 
 Emigration now began to pour in, and the place 
 became settled with white inhabitants. It was 
 about this time the war of 1812 commenced, and 
 Thomas Lyon was one of the first who enlisted, 
 being a bold, courageous soldier. He was soon 
 promoted to office and afterward became col- 
 onel of a regiment. His regiment, with several 
 others, was sent to Canada, where he lost his 
 life by the explosion of a magazine; an act of 
 the British; hundreds were swept into eternicy 
 at that instant. 
 
 The sword of Colonel Lyon was all they ever 
 obtained. This had his name in silver letters 
 upon the hilt; his mahogany casket and grave 
 clothes and sword were sent to his family in 
 New York, and his death was commemorated 
 as one who had laid down his useful life for his 
 country. His casket was followed to the place 
 of interment accompanied with a band of music, 
 he was buried with the honors of war, and by 
 the Masonic order. I am proud to see his name 
 recorded in the United States history ; further- 
 more, to know I am a grand-daughter of so 
 bold a patriot; and, although his mortality is 
 oblivious, his name still lives. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 I am willing that my readers should know 
 something of my ancestry, for reasons which 
 may be followed with good results, both for the 
 reader as also the writer; furthermore, it is 
 necessary for particular reasons that my read- 
 ers should, in a compact form, know something 
 of our beginning, as it measurably shows the 
 probability, or the possibility, of people who are 
 ever so well protected and reared, of the mon- 
 ster breaking the walls, and error entering in 
 and taking the place of truth and uprightness. 
 We are constantly traveling in slippery paths, 
 in which the utmost watchfulness and care 
 should be taken to keep our feet from the snares 
 of the fowler. 
 
 After making these few preliminary remarks, 
 I will proceed. The voice of music was now 
 apparent, in fact, in the days of which I am 
 writing, we knew of no time that our father 
 
10 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 had not lessons in music to give; thus his time 
 was taken up away from home. I have some- 
 times accused my father of partiality, as he 
 taught the eldest of our family the rules of sing- 
 ing and never taught the younger ones; finely, 
 to free my mind, I said, "father, why do you 
 not learn us the rules of singing?" "It is be- 
 cause," said he " you have natural voices and 
 you know what time is, if you wish to learn to 
 play on the instrument I will teach you." Our 
 mother was a very good woman and very care- 
 ful and industrious, as we used to say when she 
 told us how terribly she disliked to see so many 
 little fingers idle; so she hired a lady in the 
 house to learn us to braid straw. It was not 
 the common kind of braiding, but the manufac- 
 turing fine braid for bonnets; we also learned 
 to make gimp and all kinds of straw trimmings, 
 which was at this time and for many years 
 after, very fashionable, and there were many 
 large manufactories in this business. The gimp 
 was not as tedious to learn as we had antici- 
 pated. We readily learned this, also making 
 all patterns and designs. The style and fashion 
 made the demand more than we could fill. We 
 were not the only ones who engaged in this, 
 however, there were many who made fortunes 
 at this beautiful work of art. Our iather, not 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. n 
 
 being satisfied with his salary, went to Canada 
 to try his fortune in teaching; his income being 
 far less than what he considered worth the time 
 and attention which he performed. Deeming 
 this his duty, he left for a far better prospect 
 in the future. After telling us he w r ould not 
 return empty handed, we bade him farewell; 
 and, after he had shaken our little hands and 
 kissed us good bye, he departed. 
 
 Allured by the sallies of youth we sprang to 
 each duty as an enjoyment, filling up the meas- 
 ure of our days in an enjoyment of the fanciful, 
 or the realities and practical events, of our happy 
 existence; each one of us falling in the ranks of 
 social plays, whether theatrical or that which 
 the eldest of our circle suggested. But now the 
 separation of two of our sisters was considered 
 by us unbearable. Our mother being over-per- 
 suaded by a lady friend to let them go into fam- 
 ilies who had no daughters, they were adopted 
 as their own ; thinking, probably, that we had 
 more than our share of girls, but we children 
 could not be persuaded- that we had any to 
 spare; there were only five, and now we had 
 but three. This reminds me of a family in the 
 east. They were farmers and had nine boys. 
 Their farm was productive (which indeed it 
 should be) and yielded abundance of large pota- 
 
12 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 toes. One day the youngest of the nine, feeling 
 a keen demand of appetite, went slily, and get- 
 ting a large number of potatoes covered them 
 up in a bed of hot coals in the mammoth fire- 
 place, which served for roasting potatoes as 
 well as every other kind of cooking. He then 
 went out to his work thinking of the feast when 
 those potatoes were done. After working for 
 an hour he returned, and on examining the pile 
 he began to think it did not look as large as 
 when he left them, yet he had one advantage; 
 his lower limbs were far more than ordinary 
 length, and he would soon find out how many 
 he had. Fortunately he could work more 
 handy for being tall; he therefore began to 
 poke, and, and fining himself mtnus^ he began 
 to cry and started to find his mother who was 
 in the cheese house. He made long strides to 
 where she was working and bawled out 
 " Mother, the boys have got most all my pota- 
 toes; I haint got but fouiteen left." "Yes," 
 she said, " and they will get the remaining part 
 too, if you don't hurry back." The boy ran. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 I will proceed with my story. I can truly say 
 we missed our sisters. It is a feast for sisters 
 to be in each others society while in the spring 
 time of life. Allow me to say furthermore if 
 parents knew or could realize the tender union 
 which often exists between children, it is my 
 candid opinion they would, in all probability, 
 use more caution in breaking that union. My 
 sister who was two years younger than myself, 
 was my only messmate; neither did I take her 
 as a substitute for those who had left home. 
 Our spirits were always congenial to each other 
 from the cradle up to old age. In fact, I can 
 say truly, that a more united band of brothers 
 and sisters were never reared. We knew noth- 
 ing of quarels or disputes in our father's family. 
 I have many times thought of Paul's words, 
 " Be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, 
 forgiving one another even as God for Christ's 
 sake hath forgiven you." 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 The sudden illness of our sister caused silence 
 to reign in our cottage; and the quietness, to- 
 gether with the monotony of straw braiding, at 
 times became irksome. Then a stroll in wood- 
 land was cool and refreshing, on a summer day, 
 to listen to the sweet songsters of the forest. 
 Thus we beguiled the long lonely hours, talking 
 the while of our two sisters' departure from 
 home, and how sad and lonely we had been 
 since they left us. We traversed the hills in 
 search of the wintergreen, which in some places 
 along the hillside, grew plentifully, with their 
 red berries ; and we culled the wild roses which 
 came within our reach, and wandered over 
 rough places in search of the squawberries, 
 which grew under the dry foliage. We thus 
 wandered on, insensible of home duties, until 
 we were weary; and sleep, insensibly, stole up- 
 on us. -We we were now in dreamland among 
 the fairies; and I wonder the robin did not 
 cover us over with leaves, we so much resem- 
 bled the babes in the woods ; now forgetful of 
 home and our sister, who was ill, our mother 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MOEMONS. 15 
 
 and brothers, the scenes on the river, the mem- 
 ory of which draws my mind back through 
 mist of time to covet the moments we were en- 
 joying then. 
 
 Who will not say that childhood and youth 
 were the happiest period of their life? At that 
 time the ills of our existence were not visible. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 We awoke. A robin is on a limb near us 
 with a worm in his mouth. We jump from our 
 summer day's retreat, and turn our feet home- 
 ward. " Dear mother," said my sister Jane, as 
 we entered the cottage, " we have been asleep 
 in the woods and a robin came and waked us ; 
 what did you think had become of us, mother? " 
 " O, I hardly know what I thought," said she. 
 " I supposed you were in the shade somewhere." 
 "How is sister? has the doctor been to see 
 her?" I asked. "Yes, my child, and his coun- 
 tenance tells of what he thinks is approaching 
 rapidly." 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 Day after day we watchfull} stood by her 
 bed; and, when night came, we did not slacken 
 our vigilance. One only had to behold her, to 
 pronounce her past the skill of any one, on this 
 earth, to cure. Our friends and neighbors 
 were attentive, all seeming to show a kindly, 
 helping hand and a sympathizing heart. One 
 brighi morning, as the sun was shining through 
 the window shutters, we asked her if the sun 
 did not hurt her eyes. " O, no," she said, " I love 
 it ; " and began to sing the words, 
 
 " Refreshing showers of grace divine, 
 From Jesus flows to every vine, 
 Which makes the dead revive." 
 
 We were now convinced that her stay was not 
 with us; but, when the doctor visited her in the 
 evening, he was pleased to find her better. 
 Slowly she began to regain her strength, and 
 fourteen weeks, to a day, found her again on her 
 fi-i-t. We could now attend our Sabbath school 
 and church which we had been deprived of so 
 long; and, feeling ourselves at liberty, we re- 
 
LIFE AMOXG THE MOR MO AX 17 
 
 joiced in our sister's recovery, and in again 
 joining our class in Sabbath school. 
 
 After this our eldest brother went to a trade 
 with our uncle, who lived in the town of Guil- 
 ford, Chenango county. He was to stay until 
 twenty-one; and now only four of us children 
 remained at home. Our time was taken up in 
 going to school, and straw work; and our clean 
 blue and white checked aprons never made an 
 apology for our doing otherwise, for they always 
 seemed to be ready and laid out where we 
 could see them plainly. k - We must see Esquire, 
 Lacy/' said mother one morning as we sat at 
 the breakfast table, "you must go this after- 
 noon," mother said to our brother Morris." 
 " What have you reference to, mother ? " said 
 Morris, sitting back in his chair and looking 
 inquiringly, and at the same time patting little 
 Mink on the head; "to see if any of your 
 father's scholars have left any more money for 
 us, as they promised. I have been looking for 
 a letter, but I cannot wait much longer. It is 
 the first of September, and we have had only 
 two or three payments from that school. I 
 have had to pay the family doctor, and now I 
 am short again ; I put ten into the treasury box 
 and intend to keep it their, at least as long as I 
 can." "O, that will do," said mother in re- 
 
 2 
 
1 8 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 sponse to my brother; "we must learn some- 
 thing of rural economy," continued mother, 
 " this is a profitable lesson to learn, my son, and 
 the sooner we learn it the better, what do you 
 say at that ? " "I say 
 
 I wonder not, things have been, 
 
 'Tis clear enough to any ; 
 The few alone can be rich, 
 
 The poor must be many. 
 
 And who can wonder at the state 
 
 Of being blue or jolly; 
 Dame nature, on her page of fa?e. 
 
 Writes fun or melancholy. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 " Come, that will answer," said mother, as 
 she removed the table cloth from the little neat 
 breakfast table. "Suppose you harness the 
 ponies and take me with you sister," Sarah said, 
 " a ride in our easy carriage will, I am sure, 
 help me much; and it's been so long since I 
 saw town." They were soon oft' and had passed 
 behind the hill a little ways from the river 
 leading to the villa. Our home here was pic- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 19 
 
 turesque, with the road running past the cottage 
 and a hill jutting out just below us, which made 
 a curve, or a circle, for teams to pass betw r een 
 that and the river. The hill was covered with 
 laurel, which in the spring of the year sent out 
 its fragrance from its blossoms. The woods 
 were not very far from our cottage, just back a 
 little from the upper part of our garden ; shrub- 
 bery was of a choice cultivation, consisting of 
 several varieties of rose trees and many other 
 very choice and delicious forms of shrubs. 
 This place was made still more picturesque by 
 a view from the opposite side of the river, as 
 building was in progress of almost every kind; 
 mills, in a particular manner, were in rapid 
 progress, and the level green and the rocks and 
 hills made the scenery still more beautiful. A 
 large porch was in front of our cottage; and 
 in summer we spent many pleasant evenings 
 enjoying the cool, refreshing breeze from the 
 river, and listening to the whippoorwill. We 
 received letters from our father time after time, 
 and as often received money. We had now 
 advanced a considerable in means, our income 
 was not large, however; we were satisfied with 
 the expectation that our father would bring 
 home considerable money. We were mindful 
 of the promise he made on leaving home, that 
 
20 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 he should not come empty-handed. We spent 
 months and years, in the anticipation of hap- 
 pier times to come, yet how could we wish 
 more happiness than that which we already en- 
 joyed. Was it not enough that we could crowd 
 in among roses, double roses, June roses, pink 
 roses wet with the dew of heaven, our morning 
 resort ? Yes, and to hear the sweet singing of 
 birds, names unknown to us then! Our happy 
 home on the river of Unadilla, Unadilla village 
 almost within hailing distance; friends and 
 companions crowded our pathway as we jour- 
 nied onward in life's thoroughfare, interming- 
 ling golden threads of joy and happiness. 
 
 God was good to us then, although we did 
 not realize it; we knew of a Majesty, a Great 
 Ruler of the universe; yet we had not thought 
 of loving him, knew too, or at least had been 
 taught that he made all things; and we picked 
 flowers to inspect the magnificent handiwork 
 of our Creator, and it was wonderful. We 
 loved his work, and the author we could not 
 see. We imagined He must be a beautiful 
 being, as we scrutinized the soft petals of the 
 rose and other flowers, the vines, the woodbine 
 and jasamine, clinging to the lattice of the 
 porch. We touched the petals of flowers to 
 our cheeks; the touch was soft and velvety, and 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 2 I 
 
 we thought, who but a lovely being could give 
 to us such riches. We looked up to the sky as 
 the shade of night had gathered over us, and 
 there, we too, beheld the work of His hands; 
 the stars, radiant with glittering brightness, and 
 wondered if such a God was mindful of us. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Our elder brother visited us four times a year. 
 He came to see us and stayed three days every 
 visit. Our uncle, whose name was Samuel 
 Mills, lived in the town of Guilford, Chenango 
 county, New York. Here my brother served 
 three years apprenticeship at the tanners trade. 
 Our uncle had several sons. It may be needful 
 to mention their names, some of them at least. 
 The first Wilcox; second, Samuel; third, Sim- 
 eon; fourth, Harvey. These were the only 
 ones I remember, but there were several more, 
 and a number of daughters. Uncle Sam, as 
 we called him, was a strictly business man, and 
 at the time of which I am writing, had a large 
 dairy, and always (I mean in the summer) made 
 
22 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 abundance of cheese and butter from forty cows 
 He also had a large tannery and boot and shoe 
 shop. My brother remained there. I think at 
 the time I have spoken of his visit, he had ac- 
 complished half of his time; and now as our 
 brother had come, we must all join in to make his 
 stay as agreeable as possible. So one afternoon 
 as mother was on business away from home, and 
 being detained until dark we were conversant 
 with nearly all the plays in vogue, and were in the 
 height of their merits when a loud rap at the 
 front door startled us, and springing, we opened 
 the door. A gentlemen stepped in, removing 
 his hat, he enquired: " Does Mrs. C. live here," 
 when answered in the affirmative, he then asked 
 if she was at home. The voice was our fathers, 
 but we could not designate his countenance as 
 a half partition across the large front room shut 
 the light from his face. " She will come pres- 
 ently," said my brother, "please be seated." 
 He readily accepted the chair offered, when 
 our mother came in. On entering she glanced 
 at the stranger. She flew to his arms, and 
 pronouncing his name, says: "Is this my hus- 
 band ? " " Is this the woman I call my wife," 
 was the response. By this time we were all 
 around him. We were all glad indeed to see 
 him safe from a far country. It had been a little 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 23 
 
 over three years he had been away from home. 
 We were all happy in his embrace once more. 
 We were twice glad when father took from his 
 portmanteau a bag, and on untying the string, 
 he filled mothers lap full of gold and silver. 
 "This is too heavy for me too handle," said 
 mother, dipping it into the leather sack with 
 her hand. " O! see the gold," says one. "How 
 pretty it is," says another. "I wonder you 
 were not robbed," said another. " We will put 
 this away," said father, "or we may get rid of 
 it sooner than we like. We will lock it up in 
 the secretary, that will be a safe place." We 
 soon arranged supper, enjoying a comfortable 
 repast once more with our father's presence at 
 the head of the table. "My thoughts have 
 been on coming home for some time, especially 
 when I learned of Sarah's illness, until you 
 wrote me of her recovery, having a great deal 
 to do at the time of her illness it was an impos- 
 sibility to leave at that time; however she looks 
 well now, and you are all looking remarkably 
 well," taking out his handkerchief to wipe off a 
 greatful tear. "Yes, all is well that ends well," 
 said our mother. " Esick will soon, or within 
 a few months, finish his trade, and then I intend 
 going to a better place than this, I shall buy a 
 farm probably." " O ? I hope you wont think 
 
24 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 best to wait until his time is out, dear papa," 
 said sister Sarah, " we can go onto a farm with- 
 out him. He will not be a farmer any more 
 than papa is, will you brother?" " No," said 
 Esick, as he took up father's hat and put it on 
 his own head; we all laughed heartily, for he 
 looked altogether too small for such a hat. 
 
 Our brother, Esick Lyon, was a small, young 
 man, only a little over five feet in height. He 
 was also of a slender form. Our father was 
 fleshy and rudy, light, curly hair, blue eyes, 
 which were large and expressive, his forehead 
 high and white; he was not tall, but of medium 
 height. I have now given a description of some 
 of our family, it is not needful to say more on 
 this subject. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Six months had passed, which found us on a 
 farm in the township of Greene, after bidding 
 farewell to our cottage home, on that beautiful 
 river the Unadilla. Here life opened out alto- 
 gether different from what we had been accus- 
 tomed to. However we managed to depicture 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 25 
 
 the farmer in the opening, leaving the view of 
 success equivocal; although our father availed 
 himself of all the useful information attainable, 
 as to the best plan of arranging things in such 
 a manner as to make it profitable. Remote 
 from the advantages we had hitherto enjoyed, 
 shut out from the world in view of benefits, 
 which were uncertain, we knew the only way 
 was to solace ourselves with the thought that 
 our parents would, after a few years, get a dis- 
 like to that way of living. It is true we were 
 situated pleasantly; the farm was productive, 
 and one of father's brothers opened a farm 
 joining us. He was a magistrate, and often had 
 other business to attend to, which called his 
 attention away from home a great part of the 
 time. Our father, too, had besettings from 
 every town around us; for teaching, however, 
 he managed this to the best advantage, having 
 his schools the nearest home possible, the eldest 
 members of the family attending with him, 
 sometimes accompanied by our uncle H. M. C. 
 As I have already taken up too much time 
 with the story of our beginning, I will endeavor 
 to make this as limited as possible, as nothing 
 of importance transpired, excepting the death 
 of a dear little sister, the memory of which left 
 its pang on all of our hearts. Subsequently 
 
2 6 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 our father, and our uncle, sold their farms for 
 a good round sum, and bought a residence in 
 the pleasant town of Guilford, Chenango county, 
 New York. Our brother's time had been long 
 expired, yet he still remained as a journeyman 
 with Uncle Mills, and suiting his action to his 
 words, that " practice makes perfect." 
 
 " Now what? " said mother, as brother Esick 
 came in one very fine evening and smiling 
 pleasantly; "any good news? I see you are 
 looking happy." "Yes, mother," he said, 
 " where is sister?" taking off his hat and seat- 
 ing himself near to us. Jane turned, and said 
 she could guess what was up. "Then you 
 think you can guess, do you, little pet?" well, 
 guess once, "no, I shan't; but I know all the 
 same. I don't tell all I know in one breath." 
 " There, lass," said brother, patting her curls 
 with the tip of his fingers, " run and tell Sarah 
 I wish to see her immediately; run quick 
 please." Sarah came all out of breath, enquir- 
 ingly putting her ear close to brother's face to 
 hear the secret, for Jane told her it was 'twas a 
 great secret. "Are you crazy, or what?" said 
 brother Esick Lyon, as he arose, and putting 
 his arm around her waist, and quietly dancing 
 a light French step, no he said " its no secret, I 
 only wish you to accompany me to a social 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MOEMONS. 27 
 
 party, now sister put on style, there's a very 
 nice young lady going to be there, and I hear 
 she is from Philadelphia, too. O, where's my 
 trunk, ma ? " he said, as he made up an awful 
 face, and at the same time staggering like a 
 drunken man, and in the performance hitched 
 his toe and upset mother, but she was taken up 
 as soon as she was taken down, and here the 
 play was ended. I never saw my sister look 
 prettier. She was dressed in blue silk, trimmed 
 with white lace, a gold chain and watch, with a 
 pink rose in her light auburn hair, which in- 
 clined to curl, always bright and wavy. My 
 brother, too, was dressed in black broadcloth, 
 a gold watch and a French necktie, looking ex- 
 tremely well. The coach came, and they dis- 
 appeard through the hall door. As they passed 
 out, mother looked at us and smiled, as only 
 mothers can, and then a proud look passed over 
 her countenance; proud of her children, as only 
 mothers are. We need not ask how they en- 
 joyed the evening, their countenance plainly 
 told. 
 
 My brother was delighted with Miss Jewel; 
 and more than one looked upon Esick Lyon with 
 a suspicious, jealous eye, whenever their obser- 
 vation found them together; and it was not my 
 brother's or Miss Jewel's intention to render 
 
28 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 the circumstances of this case more equal, as 
 far as this concerned them, they both agreed to 
 relinquish etiquette for a time and adopt obso- 
 lete custom. This was undoubtedly their privil- 
 ege, for they were lovers at first sight. There 
 were presumptious remarks made by the young 
 people, both male and female. In fact one 
 young lady remarked to Esick Lyon that she 
 had the first claim and also she had the staff' in 
 her own hands. " Ah," said my brother, " you 
 forget that through politeness a young man 
 often compliments a young lady without the 
 least motive of making her his wife." " Esick 
 Lyon you have made your choice, probably, 
 but let me say to you, that Miss Jewel shall 
 never marry you, never! never! that is, if I 
 can hinder it. Probably she will finish her visit 
 at Deacon Jewel's and then return to Philadel- 
 phia, and that will end the courtship between 
 you. Another thing is, she is a milliner, and 
 knows nothing of housekeeping, and her com- 
 plexion shows that she is entirely and universally 
 unacquainted with a rural or domestic life, and 
 now what do you want of a city lady? asked 
 Luanda Hartwell, as she took her handkerchief 
 to dry a falling tear. An interruption caused 
 them to be silent for a moment, then Esick 
 Lyon replied, " Miss Jewel is of a good, re- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 29 
 
 spectable family; no one can say aught of her. 
 Add to this, her relatives, the Jewels here whom 
 she is visiting, are the very bone and sinew of 
 society in this town; this you know. Further- 
 more, we are engaged." " Then you and I will 
 exchange gifts, or keepsakes, will we not?" 
 asked Lucinda, as she arose, giving a look of 
 sarcasm, and turning to Esick Lyon to receive 
 the answer. "Suit yourself," was the answer, 
 and all he could say in regard to her inquiry. 
 The presents were returned, and not many 
 weeks had expired before a wedding was an- 
 nounced, and a cordial invitation was given out 
 by the Rev. Mr. Donelson, the pastor of the 
 Presbyterian church in Gilford. The house 
 was crowded to the utmost, from the entry to 
 the gallery. The large organ opened the ser- 
 vice; the minister came down from the pulpit; 
 the bridal party advanced, and the solemn cer- 
 emony was said in the presence of several hun- 
 dred persons. Now after all the ceremony was 
 accomplished, and a wedding trip to the great 
 metropolis of the state of Pennsylyania via 
 New York had been made; and this was among 
 the things which have been, they, looking for- 
 ward for things to come, quietly settled down 
 in a snug little home of their own ; each one re- 
 suming his or her accustomed avocation. 
 
3 o LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 At this time I was desired to go and assist 
 my brother's wife; she wanted me as an ap- 
 prentice girl, as she was running a large millin- 
 ery establishment; and eventually I was one 
 among a number of girls, learning the millin- 
 ery, with a proprietor at the head. Two years 
 had elapsed; at this time my sister had married 
 and lived in the town of Colesville, Broom 
 county, New York. Her husband's name was 
 Newel Knight. He was a staunch Universal- 
 ist, and his father, Joseph Knight, was also of 
 the same belief. Sister Sarah was of the Pres- 
 byterian faith. However, I never knew of any 
 argument between them concerning their reli- 
 gious views. I was now just entering my third 
 year at my brother's, and a revival of religion 
 commenced in the Presbyterian church, and 
 many were exhibiting a great interest in form- 
 ing a new and more useful life; and I found 
 . myself one of that happy number. 
 
 During this revival, many were brought to 
 see that the blood of Christ was sufficient to 
 cleanse them from all sin; and I felt an assur- 
 ance that I was also adopted into the family of 
 God, through his blood. I was now, as I con- 
 sidered and in fact it was my most earnest 
 wish to lay aside selfish longings, and look a 
 little to the comfort and good of others. It is 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 31 
 
 true I now had, at an early age, learned a trade; 
 and choosing not to eat the bread of idleness, 
 and furthermore to let independence be my aim, 
 and ever look upon avarice as my worst foe, I 
 felt determined to start out in the right path in 
 pursuing the journey of life. To emulate the 
 example of the good Samaritan effectually, one 
 must be in possession of an independence. 
 
 My brother Esick Lyon lived in Pennsylva- 
 nia, in the town of Sandford, Crawford county. 
 I still remained with them, only making occa- 
 sional visits at my fathers, in Guilford, and at 
 Colesville; and it was optional with me where 
 to commence when I snould arrive at an age 
 sufficient to do business for myself. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Six months had elapsed, and we hear a rumor 
 going around that Joe Smith, of whom we had 
 often heard as a fortune teller, was at this time 
 in Colesville, preaching a very strange doctrine, 
 and that our sister and her husband were atten- 
 tive listeners to his fanaticism. This rumor 
 
32 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 staggered our wits to comprehend. The story 
 was repeated in our ears almost daily. We 
 knew this same Joe Smith had often been in 
 Coles ville, to visit his Universalist friends or 
 brethren. I had seen him two or three times, 
 while visiting at my sisters, but did not think it 
 worth my while to take any notice of him. I 
 never spoke to him, for he was a total stranger 
 to me. However, I thought him odd looking 
 and queer. He also told his friends that he 
 could see money in pots, under the ground. 
 He pretended to foretell people's future destiny, 
 and, according to his prognostication, his friends 
 agreed to suspend their avocations and dig for 
 the treasures, which were hidden in the earth; 
 a great share of which, he said, was on Joseph 
 Knight's farm. 
 
 Old Uncle Joe, as we called him, was a wool 
 carder, and a farmer; yet he abandoned all busi- 
 ness, and joined with a number of others, to 
 dig for money on his premises. While I was 
 visiting my sister, we have walked out to see 
 the places where they had dug for money, and 
 laughed to think of the absurdity of any peo- 
 ple having common intellect to indulge in such 
 a thought or action. However, all of those 
 things had long since become oblivious; for in 
 the time of their digging for mone} and not 
 
LIFE. AMONG THE MORMONS. 33 
 
 finding it attainable, Joe Smith told them there 
 was a charm on the pots of money, and if some 
 animal was killed and the blood sprinkled 
 around the place, then they could get it. So 
 they killed a dog, and tried this method of ob- 
 taining the precious metal; but again money 
 was scarce in those diggings. Still, they dug 
 and dug, but never came to the precious treas- 
 ure. Alas! how vivid was the expectation 
 when the blood of poor Tray was used to take 
 off the charm, and after all to find their mis- 
 take, that it did not speak better things than 
 that of Abel. And now they were obliged to 
 give up in despair, and Joseph went home again 
 to his father's, in Palmyra. 
 
 Some months after this fruitless enterprise 
 he was married to Miss Emma Hale, a school 
 teacher, a fine girl, of good repute and respect- 
 able, though poor parentage. It was at this 
 time, which I have mentioned previously, that 
 the rumor was in circulation concerning the 
 strange doctrine which he was setting forth; 
 and which, indeed, was creating quite a stir 
 among the people, and it surprised us to hear 
 of his return to Coles ville with his wife, to 
 meet again with his old money diggers. But 
 now he had entered upon a new project. He 
 declared an angel had appeared to him and told 
 
34 
 
 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 him of golden plates, which were hidden up to 
 come forth on a certain day; and also that the 
 plates were sacred, containing a history of a peo- 
 ple who inhabited this continent in ancient days ; 
 also it was that which Isaiah the prophet had 
 spoken of; a vision which should become as the 
 words of a book that is sealed; which was de- 
 livered to one that was learned, saying: " Read 
 this, I pray thee ;" and he said, " I cannot, for it 
 is sealed;" and the book is delivered to one that 
 is unlearned, saying: "Read this, I pray thee;" 
 and he said, "I cannot, for I am unlearned; 
 moreover, inasmuch as this people draw near 
 me, with their mouths and with their lips do 
 honor me, therefore I will proceed to do a mar- 
 velous work and a wonder; for the wisdom of 
 their wise men shall perish, and the understand- 
 ing of their prudent men shall be hid." 
 
 This is what was circulated throughout the 
 country, and this is the rumor which was now 
 afloat. Smith brought up many prophecies to 
 show that the Lord was about to do a marvel- 
 ous work in the last days. He also affirmed 
 that he had seen the angel, and had talked with 
 him face to face ; and the angel told him at a 
 certain time he would conduct him to the place 
 where the plates could be obtained; also that 
 he was a chosen vessel in the hands of God, to 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 35 
 
 translate them, and bring them to the world. 
 All this was heard and believed by a large 
 number of persons in Colesville, among whom 
 was my own dear sister and her husband. 
 
 Onward hastened the time. The book was 
 translated from the golden plates; it was called 
 the Book of Mormon. Witnesses set their 
 names to the book, testifying that they had seen 
 the plates, and had handled them with their 
 hands; also that they had the appearance of 
 gold. Names of the witnesses: Oliver Cowdry, 
 David Whitmer, Peter Whitmer. Finally, the 
 books were sent out to a wondering people, 
 and many believed in the new doctrine; some 
 of undisputable respectability, taking in both 
 rich and poor. On learning of our sister's con- 
 version into this faith, we were doubtful as to 
 the accuracy of the report ; also believing her 
 to be of an unshaken mind and principle, we 
 therefore consoled ourselves with the thought 
 of this being a probable mistake. At this time 
 they had organized a church, which consisted 
 of sixty members. They were also at the com- 
 mencement baptizing and confirming by the 
 laying on of hands, for the reception of the 
 Holy Ghost. The same ordinance also was 
 practiced to heal the sick and cast out devils ; 
 all of which was accomplished by the laying on 
 
36 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 of the hands of the ordained elders of the 
 Church of Latter Day Saints. 
 
 I now visited my sister to try if possible to 
 convince her of the error into which she had 
 innocently been decoyed and deceived. How- 
 ever, this was of no effect whatever. She was 
 as firm as the everlasting hills in the belief of 
 Mormonism, and seemed to have the whole 
 Bible at her tongue's end. She was of the be- 
 lief that God had again visited His people, and 
 again set His hand, the second time, to recover 
 the house of Israel. She also was of the belief 
 that this was the work, and warned me against 
 condemning that which I did not understand, 
 lest I should be found fighting against God's 
 will. 
 
 By this time my faith had grown weak in re- 
 gard to changing her mind, and I thought it 
 best for me to go back to my brother's, and 
 henceforth to let them alone. I considered it a 
 deception and delusion ; but as I was necessarily 
 detained over the Sabbath, I attended services 
 with my sister. The discourse was delivered 
 by Oliver Cowdry, an elder of the Mormon 
 church, and a witness to the gold plates. After 
 preaching, several were baptized, and the con- 
 verts were increasing rapidly. For some time, 
 having meetings daily, and also evenings, the 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 37 
 
 excitement was great, insomuch that many were 
 overcome by the spirit, and were, seemingly, 
 unconscious of all around them. On awaking 
 from this trance, they would say they were 
 happy, and had seen angels and talked with 
 them. However, I did not feel interested in 
 this direction. It had hitherto appeared most 
 simple of all things, and I was decidedly against 
 such proceedings. I was still detained at my 
 sister's. For some reason I could not get back 
 to my brother's, in Sandf ord ; and, at this time, 
 I cannot remember the cause of my prolonged 
 stay. While I tarried I attended church with 
 my sister. Sidney Rigdon came into Colesville 
 any preached to a numerous congregation. We 
 did not class him as a Mormon, as we were in- 
 formed that he was a Baptist minister, from 
 Paynsville, Ohio. The words of his text - 
 " O, foolish Gallatians, who hath bewitched you 
 that ye should not obey the truth?" It was, in- 
 deed interesting, and great attention and silence 
 prevailed; and it was acknowledged by all to 
 be the best sermon ever preached in that vicin- 
 ity. He stayed several days, seeming to have 
 special business with Joseph Smith and the 
 leaders of the new Mormon church. I mention 
 these facts only because I think to this day 
 that he had something to do in getting up the 
 
38 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 Book of Mormon, and we found, after his re- 
 turn to Ohio, that he was also a believer in the 
 new doctrine. 
 
 This seemed rather strange, that a man of 
 his talents should be a believer in anything so 
 strange as this appeared to be; and, as I 
 was now about to go back to my brother's in 
 Sandford, my sister told me that God would 
 give me a sure witness to the truth of this 
 work, if I would only ask him; it was my cus- 
 tom to daily go to him. I therefore thought to 
 make this an item to be remembered, and, in 
 my feeble petition I humbly asked Him to show 
 me the truth of this, least I should be found to 
 rebel against His holy will. I had selected a 
 retired place in the grove, and an incident oc- 
 curred which is to this day beyond my compre- 
 hension. It was three loud raps on a tree near 
 me; so loud, and in quick succession, that I felt 
 the jar and wind of the blows. I immediately 
 arose to my feet and closely examined the place. 
 All was silent, and nothing could be seen. I 
 was somewhat frightened, and never thought 
 of this as a witness to the truth of Mormonism. 
 The excitement had now reached to a high 
 pitch ; and the old father of all mischief and dis- 
 turbance, helped to circulate a report that I was 
 intending to join the Mormon church on the 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 39 
 
 Sabbath following. This false rumor reached 
 the attention of my brother, and the church of 
 which I was a member. A complaint was en- 
 tered against me to the church ; next, a course 
 of gospel labor commenced. They visited me 
 three times; each time I assured them I had no 
 thought of joining them (the Mormons). This 
 they did not seem to hear; and, to sum up the 
 matter, their uncharitable actions drove me far- 
 ther and still farther from believing in anything 
 good. I was not yet eighteen years of age. 
 My heart was stricken, and I could see no love 
 manifested. In the advancement of time I per- 
 ceived they still believed I intended joining that 
 church, without listening to what I told them 
 or trying to ascertain the truth in -regard to it. 
 They did not come to me in love and ask me 
 to go with them to my brother's or my father's, 
 but continued to come and see me. I had been 
 homesick, and had had several hearty crying 
 spells in secret, because I could not get back to 
 my brothers. The team was always in use, or 
 some other very essential thing to attend to. I 
 acknowledge my feelings were not as pleasant 
 as they probably might have been had I been 
 situated in a more pleasing, cheerful, delightful 
 attitude. 
 
 It was one Sabbath day, beautiful and 
 
4 o 
 
 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 and bright. We had been to church. Several 
 had assembled at Newell Knight's, as was the 
 general custom, for he was an elder. A mes- 
 sage was sent to me that Esick Lyon wished 
 to see me at the grove, which was some dis- 
 tance from the house ; that he wished a friendly 
 interview with me. I felt reluctant in granting 
 his request, but through the advice of my sister 
 I ventured to go. I at this time attempted to 
 make plain to him the reason of my tarrying 
 at my sister's, and I then believed he under- 
 stood me perfectly. While in the midst of our 
 conversation, who should come but the Rev. 
 Mr. Sherer, pastor of our church in Sandford. 
 He came and took my hand, and holding it so 
 long and firmly I thought it odd. I had tried 
 to disengage this unwelcome cordiality, but had 
 no success. I then asked my brother's assist- 
 ance; but he declined, saying I would do well 
 to listen to Mr. Sherer's council. However, we 
 were not in the least surprised to find every 
 member of the Mormon church on hand. My 
 sister hastened to me, and soon wrenched off 
 the hand that held mine. " What are you do- 
 ing with my sister?" she asked with an author- 
 itative expression. " What are you doing with 
 my sister?" again she asked, her face looking 
 white as snow as she uttered these words. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 41 
 
 There were about sixty Mormons now in close 
 contest with my brother and Mr. Sherer. I left 
 them to settle the matter as best they could; I 
 cared not how if I only obtained my liberty. I 
 thn enjoyed a few moments of sweet, uninter- 
 rupted tranquility, having the house to myself 
 for at least one half hour. This might proba- 
 bly have been a little skirmish in the Christian 
 warfare; but if this is the case, O, tell it not in 
 Gath. 
 
 The members of the household were gath- 
 ered in again from the field of strife, together 
 with quite a number of elders, and also mem- 
 bers, and were once more seated composedly, 
 talking and singing, when my uncle rode up to 
 the door on a white, stately, beautiful horse, 
 and as he drew up he exclaimed, "You are 
 happy now you have accomplished your pur- 
 pose, and I hope you enjoy it; but this will not 
 be of long endurance, let me tell you." " O, 
 yes," said one of the elders, " you are an attor- 
 ney, probably you will take steps in this matter, 
 but not to-day." Sir," said another Mormon 
 elder, " you are mad ; you look as white as the 
 horse you are riding; to-day is the holy Sab- 
 bath, and you are a deacon; don't indulge in 
 such a passion." Many hard words were used 
 
42 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 on both sides; and here the subject ended, by 
 putting spurs to the white steed, under a two 
 hundred and twenty burden, which seemed 
 light and easy for the noble animal. That night 
 was- dark and rainy. A messenger was plod- 
 ding through darkness, mud and rain, and dead 
 of night, to my father's in Guilford, thirty miles 
 distant. The messenger said he did not spare 
 the horse. He arrived at Guilford some time 
 in the night, and, waking them, told the story. 
 Afer getting permission, he went to a lawyer 
 and obtained a power of attorney. Arriving 
 at Colesville, he came to me saying he now had 
 authority to take me away. I told him " I could 
 go without all that trouble, and did not think it 
 necessary to use the law in the case; and now, 
 as I have a good opportunity, I will speak a 
 few words for myself this was my brother- 
 in-law, whom I will call P - T . Prob- 
 ably you are somewhat unacquainted with the 
 affair altogether ; I will say, that I came here for 
 the purpose of talking with my sister about the 
 absurdity of believing in Mormonism, and find- 
 ing it useless to say more on that subject, I 
 concluded to return to my brother, Esick Lyon, 
 and let her enjoy her own opinion. But New- 
 ell Knight was busy, and could not spare the 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 43 
 
 time or the team either to take me home, and 
 
 he desired me to tarry a few days, he would 
 
 then go with me. 
 
 . "Not long after this it was circulated that I 
 
 intended to go into the Mormon church, and a 
 
 copy of the complaint which was entered 
 
 against me to the church in Sandford, was 
 
 handed me. It read as follows: 
 
 " To the Church of Christ, in Sandford: 
 
 " WHEREAS, E. M.. a member of said church, 
 embraces a most wicked and dangerous heresy; 
 and whereas, we have taken with her the first 
 and second steps of gospel labor, without ob- 
 taining satisfaction, we therefore make com- 
 plaint to the church of which said E. M. is a 
 member, praying that the brethren of said 
 church would bring her to an account for her 
 unchristian conduct; and, as in duty bound, your 
 servants will ever pray. H. M. ' 
 
 E. L. 
 B. S." 
 
 " Those are the names of the officers in our 
 church who signed this copy of complaint. 
 And now you are here with authority to take 
 me away. What does all this bustle signify? 
 Explain to me, if you can? It is all plain to 
 me; I am willing, yes, more than willing, to go 
 back to my brother's." " Can you go to-mor- 
 
44 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 row ?" asked P T . " I can go to-day, 
 
 if }ou like," I answered; "but let me ask, what 
 did you understand in this affair? Probably you 
 understood that I was obstinate in this matter, 
 
 did you not ?" " I did," said P T , " and 
 
 I believe what you have stated to be true as 
 gospel. I also know who the instigator is, but 
 I shall decline telling at present, for certain rea- 
 sons." " I know who you allude to, but it would 
 not be proper to mention his name ; the church 
 have great confidence in him, so let the matter 
 rest." 
 
 The day following we started early, and be- 
 fore dinner time we reached Sandford. I met 
 sober faces and cold hands on my arrival, but 
 tried to choke down my feelings as best 1 could, 
 knowing that a lane, though ever so long, must 
 have a turn. I received daily visits from the 
 pastor of our church, who gave me a prayer 
 book and wished me to learn some of the 
 prayers; but I returned the book, saying I 
 wished to be led and taught by one who said, 
 "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me." 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 The day was beautiful as ever eyes witnessed, 
 and on the checkered lattice the sun shone gold- 
 like through the green leaves, intermingled 
 with bright purple blossoms ; and all was quiet 
 in the household, and all the duties of domestic 
 toil for that day was over. My brother Esick 
 Lyon and his wife had gone to a neighboring 
 town on business, and I was the only occupant 
 of the premises. I had seated myself in a place 
 convenient to notice the the door of the millin- 
 ery establishment, attending part of my duty 
 at that post also. I was now drawn into a train 
 of meditation, while my needle was my right 
 hand companion; and, although it had an eye, 
 it shed not a tear over my bitter memories of 
 the past, and made not an apology for half-ut- 
 tered grievances. "Are you' alone?" said a 
 voice which I readily recognized as my cousins. 
 " Yes, I am alone; come in, Esther. Why did 
 you not come sooner?" I asked, as she care- 
 lessly drew up a chair close to me. " What 
 have you been thinking about? your eyes look 
 red, E. M. What is the matter?" she contin- 
 
46 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 ued, as she bent over with her elbows on her 
 knees, in a listening attitude. " Dear Esther," 
 at last I said, "you cannot know how it grieves 
 me to think how unwise some have acted to- 
 ward me; I have been treated as though I was 
 some guilty culprit trying to escape the hand 
 of justice. Shame on the instigator of such 
 mischief; and as to the story that I was obsti- 
 nate, and would not leave Colesville unless I 
 was forced, that is not true. And now I am 
 watched so close all the time I dare not stir out 
 of the house five minutes before they are look- 
 ing for me." "I wonder how they dare leave 
 you to-day," said my cousin, laughingly, and 
 continued, " E. M., did you know your uncle 
 was in the grove with a horse and buggy at the 
 time cousin Esick Lyon talked with you?" "I 
 did not know of it; never heard of it until now. 
 O, Esther Nash, you surprise me; and did he 
 intend taking me at that time?" " Yes, he did." 
 " Well, that is why Mr. Sherer held my hand 
 so firmly; I really thought he was crazy. He 
 told me to go with him, and tried to drag me 
 farther and farther down the road. I did not 
 know then that uncle was in the neighborhood, 
 until he rode up to the door at Sarah's; but 
 they were all defeated in that plan. O, Esther, 
 to think of kidnapping a poor little inoffensive 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 47 
 
 girl! Only think of a big man like uncle mak- 
 ing such a heroic conquest! He ought to be 
 proud of even the attempt." 
 
 Here the talk ended, with a shrug of the 
 shoulders and a hearty laugh. " I must go," 
 said Esther, putting on her sunbonnet. " Don't 
 hurry away so quickly, dear cousin, I shall be 
 lonely." " We expect company to-morrow, and 
 I must help; now look on the bright side," she 
 said, as she tripped oft* to the hotel, whose pro- 
 prietor was David Nash, and who probably 
 some of my readers will recognize, as he spent 
 the last of his days in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. 
 But I must hasten with my narrative ; and know- 
 ing the value of time, I will make the best use 
 possible of that which is allotted to me, know- 
 ing that each moment, as it flies, will never 
 return. 
 
 After quietude was once more established in 
 our circle, the pastor, as was his custom, came 
 to visit me. This time, however, was some- 
 thing special. He told me there would be a 
 meeting at the church the day following, and 
 he wished me to attend; also, it immediately 
 concerned me, etc. I did not intend to be ob- 
 stinate, but my feelings revolted against it. I 
 went, however, as the meeting was expressly 
 for the purpose of bringing me to an account. 
 
48 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 I was now before the church to say what I 
 could in my own defense; for, until I had made 
 reconciliation to the church I could not be per- 
 mitted at the communion table. The time came 
 for me to reply to the complaint entered against 
 me, and I arose and told them the charges 
 brought against me were incorrect, and I was 
 very sorry that so much hard labor had been 
 done under false colors; but this I would say, 
 for the satisfaction of the church, that inasmuch 
 as I had been the means of so much dissatisfac- 
 tion, I felt heartily sorry, and hoped that God 
 and the church would pardon that mistake. 
 This seemed to be all that was necessary, and 
 they gave me the hand of fellowship, and here 
 the trouble ended. 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 Now the sun shone out brightly after a storm 
 of strife, and I felt myself at liberty. The culp- 
 ability of the past had disappeared within the 
 folds of foggy suggestions, and as I hoped, had 
 landed and buried up in the sea of falsehoods, 
 its legitimate mould. I now felt the load was 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 49 
 
 removed, and 1 was no longer treated as a 
 stranger in a strange land. My aunt, Mrs. 
 Nash, was now, as I noticed, making prelimin- 
 ary arrangements for a ride, as I had heard her 
 giving orders to the hostler to clean the car- 
 riage, and reserve the fleet team for her use. 
 The next morning she came in and said she 
 was getting up a party to go to the town of 
 Guilford, and asked my brother's wife if she 
 would be one of the number. " Most assured- 
 ly," answered H. "I have been wishing to go 
 on a visit for a number of weeks; in fact, aunt, 
 Deacon Jewel will think, will blame, will dis- 
 own me, if I don't visit him soon." "O, no; 
 not so bad as that," my aunt said laughingly, 
 " Deacon Jewell is not a man who invents evil." 
 " Aunt, can I go?" "Of course you must. 
 Now girls, be ready early; I will start at seven 
 A. M.; now be ready, the team won't stand a 
 moment." The next morning found us mov- 
 ing rapidly toward Guilford. My aunt was a 
 model for a landlady; she was large and w r ell 
 adapted to her station, which she nobly filled, 
 most elegantly, in every department of her oc- 
 cupation. To see her smile was enough to 
 make one feel welcome and at home. I arrived 
 at my father's house in time for dinner, and 
 once more partook of a repast at my father's 
 
50 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 table, with my parents and brothers and sisters. 
 I was happy to get home once more. " Home, 
 sweet home ! " Did ever words reach a prodi- 
 gal's ear which sounded more sweet than those 
 to mine? O, what a comfort it is to get home; 
 although we have wandered long from the 
 home of our childhood and the fold of the good 
 shepherd, what peace fills our aching hearts 
 the moment we the welcome voice proclaim 
 " Rejoice, my house! " 
 
 Will you, dear reader, meet your unworthy 
 friend in that home which is prepared by our 
 Redeemer's own hands, where we can see the 
 smiling face of Him whose invitation is to all; 
 and when a few more days of suffering scenes 
 are finished, will you then meet me in our heav- 
 enly home? That home, dear readers, is not 
 as far oft' as many believe it to be ; it is here on 
 this earth, and above us, and all around and 
 about us; it is illimitable and spiritual, and can 
 only be discerned by the spirit. They need 
 not the light of the sun nor the moon, for our 
 Heavenly Father giveth them light. 
 
 Now I was once more in the fold of my 
 father's house, and in the society of my beloved 
 sister Jane. Braiding straw bonnets was still 
 the unrelenting custom and occupation while at 
 home, although we were accustomed to this 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 51 
 
 work at an early age, besides going to the acad- 
 emy for five years ; and now, after serving my 
 time at millinery for two years, I will leave my 
 readers to judge whether my time was spent in 
 idleness. I now resumed my straw work with 
 my sister, and as we did dot attend school at 
 this time, it was work, work, work, with our 
 straw, in the same attitude from morning to 
 night, and not unfrequently until a very late 
 hour, also. This was the everlasting routine 
 of the monotonous life of the straw-braider. 
 However, we enjoyed times of recreation. Our 
 mother was not as exacting as all this, and if 
 we worked early and late it was at our own 
 option, and the result of our own ambition, and 
 as we termed it, " gaining time." We enjoyed 
 our old theatrical performances, the same as 
 when we were younger, and longed to call 
 back the memories of the past, our bright days 
 of childhood. 
 
 Seating ourselves one evening beneath a 
 beech tree, to listen to the cheering notes of 
 birds, the sound of the busy crowd had ceased 
 and were joining in with the feathered tribes 
 in musical harmony. The sun, too, had long 
 since sank behind the autumn-tinted trees, and 
 a robin near us sleepily singing its last notes ; 
 and the sound of our father's flute and our 
 
52 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 brother's drum, called us from our resting place 
 and we marched homeward, keeping time with 
 the martial music. The caprice of youth ; ah, 
 how fleeting, fleeting! the fairies, the ghosts, 
 the water nymphs, all float before our vision. 
 
 "Well, the night-fall closed in upon you," 
 said mother as we skipped into the sitting room. 
 " Yes, we were planning for the future, moth- 
 er." " Do you think you will have a future 
 mother?" said our mamma. "Yes, and you 
 will have future girls, too, by the appearance 
 of that straw pile. Isn't it splendid?" " O, 
 yes, it looks beautiful, so white and fine." " Is 
 it prepared with the finest gauge?" "No; I 
 will want those bonnets all finished before the 
 gimp, or trimming," said my mother. 
 
 I wonder not that some are straight ; 
 
 Nature has her perfections ; 
 The dwarfed, the twisted also blend 
 
 In all of her collections. 
 
 At this period nothing transpired to obstruct 
 our onward prosperity and peace. But the hu- 
 man heart is ever active, and who can say 
 whether it will beat for our happiness or our 
 misery? for the human heart is deceitful above 
 all things. 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 
 
 
 Now, with regard to what is termed appar- 
 itions, or ghosts this is a subject we hardly 
 dare to approach, for the very reason that we 
 see no just grounds on which to build our faith. 
 I will, however, relate somewhat of a mystery 
 in my experience, and leave my readers to de- 
 cide according to their own opinion. I am 
 aware that there are various views concerning 
 those mysteries ; yet we all have equal rights to 
 judge of those matters according to each one's 
 tastes, which are generally as various as their 
 countenances. 
 
 Once I awoke from a sound sleep; my 
 thoughts were on things relating to what had 
 transpired during my stay at giy sister's in 
 Colesville. Why did not my father come or 
 send after me when he heard of my intention 
 to join the Mormon church? Why did they 
 give a power of attorney to disgrace and igno- 
 miniously drag away their poor child among 
 those who could not have the feelings of a kind 
 and tender parent? As these thoughts were 
 suggested to my mind, I arose and passed 
 
54 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 through the room where our servant girl was 
 sleeping, and our parent's room also, and on 
 the porch. My parents were sleeping sweetly, 
 and my opening and closing the doors of each 
 apartment did not disturb the inmates in the 
 least. This was apparent, as the loud breath- 
 ing could be heard from every sleeping apart- 
 ment. The moon had climbed its highest 
 summit, and as I was viewing it and the stars, 
 the work of God's hands, and pensively listen- 
 ing to the slow clinking of the distant cow bell, 
 and the steady chippering of the katy-did, sud- 
 denly there arose from the ground a personage, 
 about three rods from where I stood on the 
 verandah. This person was dressed in dark, 
 and a dark cloak covered her shoulders. I at 
 once thought it my sister, who probably had 
 undertaken to pass a joke on me, and had 
 thrown herself flat on the ground for this pur- 
 pose, after which to frighten me by rising up. 
 I therefore commenced talking to her, and called 
 "Jane; "but she gave no answer. She then 
 stepped toward me ; I looked at her a few mo- 
 ments, I then stepped toward her. I could now 
 almost reach her; but I found it was no one I 
 had ever seen. She now came so near I could 
 plainly see that her hair was mixed with gray. 
 After we looked at each other for some mo- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 55 
 
 merits, a chill passed over me, and with a with- 
 ering shudder I left the apparation and went 
 into the house. I then watched her from the 
 window; she stood in the same attitude for at 
 least a half hour, and then gliding slowly along 
 for about twenty yards, she sank in an instant 
 into the ground; I saw her disappear as plainly 
 as ever I saw anything by bright moonlight. 
 I then thought of waking my parents to tell 
 them what I had seen, but could not make up 
 my mind to do so. I then looked to see what 
 time it was, and it was light enough to see dis- 
 tinctly. The time was almost two o'clock in 
 the morning. I then went to the servant girl's 
 room and told her the ghost story. She im- 
 mediately dressed and we went out; I told her 
 the place where she arose, also where she dis- 
 appeared. We made a considerable noise, and 
 at Clara's suggestion we went into all parts of 
 the premises to find what I knew was not to be 
 found, for I saw the ghost disappear out of 
 sight. This probably was suggestive of good, 
 as I now had something to think of, rather 
 than to doubt the sincerity of the love of my 
 parents. Nothing of any importance trans- 
 pired, excepting the routine of everyday life, 
 and the common course of business. I confess 
 my feelings were of a peculiar nature at this 
 
56 . LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 period; but my religious views were strictly the 
 same as when I could say " My Lord and my 
 God " for the first time. I prayed that my life 
 should be spent in the service of my God, and 
 my example, too, should lead many to Christ. 
 O, how I love that ever blessed name; I love it 
 because there is "no other name given under 
 heaven whereby we can be saved," only through 
 the name of Jesus. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 A SINGULAR PRESENTIMENT. 
 
 In the autumn of the year, when silence pre- 
 vailed through the household, and also the out- 
 ward world seemed in slumber, a thought came 
 into my mind that my sister Sarah and her 
 husband, Newell Knight, would come within 
 an hour or two. I tried to abandon the thought, 
 but it still sounded in my mind, over and over 
 again. I could not think of anything else. 
 Finally, I said to mother that my impression 
 was that Sarah and her husband would be there 
 within two hours. This astonished my mother, 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 57 
 
 and she wondered how I could think they 
 would come, as we had not heard from them 
 for several months. I then said I would go to 
 one of the neighbors and wait their coming, ior 
 the time would seem tiresome. However, I 
 was soon in the company of the old lady, with 
 whom F loved to visit. But my stay was of 
 short duration, for here came my little brother 
 with his silken locks waving in the wind. " Sa- 
 rah has come," he said, laughing; "She has 
 come!" I soon proved this assertion, to my 
 own astonishment, as well as to the surprise of 
 all ot the household. We met as loving sisters 
 meet. This strange presentiment seemed to 
 baffle our skill to overcome in a degree possible 
 to enter into conversation for a time, as we 
 found it difficult to collect our usual decision of 
 thought. 
 
 This was my sister, from whose house I had 
 been once compelled to go on account of their 
 being Mormons; and, strange as it may appear, 
 my sister prevailed on my parents to let me go 
 with them when they returned home; and yet 
 more strange when, as if by some unknown 
 power, I was baptized and confirmed in the 
 Mormon church the next Sabbath after! How 
 it thus happened I will ask my readers to ex- 
 plain, for that intention had not entered my 
 
58 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 heart when I left my father's house; and I look 
 back with surprise to this day, when I think 
 of those awful days of temptation when I 
 united with the Mormon church. I verily 
 thought I was in the way of my duty, for 
 Christ said, " He that loveth father or mother, 
 brother or sister more than me is not worthy 
 of me." 
 
 My sister Sarah was a kind and loving sister; 
 no one could be more kind and no one could be 
 more truthful; so having the utmost confidence 
 in her integrity, it is not strange that I, who 
 was much younger, should coincide with her 
 without any detriment to myself. We are told 
 to " prove all things, and hold fast that which 
 good." This maxim is applicable in this case 
 as well as to mortals. The truth is, women 
 covet knowledge in this as in other things. The 
 pursuit of knowledge, as regards them, is 
 always attended with difficulties. Another fact 
 is, from our birth to our death we are the slaves 
 of prejudice and of circumstances. 
 
 The winter following I went with several 
 others to Kirtland, Ohio. They were estab- 
 lishing a Mormon church in that thriving little 
 village. The members now numbered about 
 one hundred persons, the greater part of whom 
 were the brightest and best of the community, 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 59 
 
 merchants, lawyers and doctors. All were 
 united in the belief that God had set his hand 
 again the second time to recover the house 
 of Israel. Those people of whom I have just 
 spoken all seemed to feel an interest in the 
 Church of Latter Day Saints (as they styled 
 themselves). I felt as a stranger, and longed 
 to go back to my home ; and many a night I 
 spent in weeping for thus leaving my father's 
 house. And I will truthfully say I was not the 
 only one who had thus been led away by those 
 false teachers, for many a house had been de- 
 serted and many a family broken up on this 
 account, not only in America, but also in Eng- 
 land, Norway, Scotland, Germany, and in Pal- 
 estine ; in fact all parts of the world are partial 
 witnesses to this strange and dangerous delusion. 
 The Mormon elders were sent out into all 
 parts, to build up churches; Kirtland being the 
 place called by the Saints, one of the stakes of 
 Zion, to prepare to go to the land of promise. 
 Missouri was called the hill of Zion, a land 
 that flows with milk and honey. People were 
 now coming from all parts of the world, and 
 Kirtland was filled with emigrants preparing 
 to go to Missouri. The Colesville church was 
 expected the following summer, and I looked 
 forward to their coming, for I could then enjoy 
 
60 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 the sweet society of my beloved sister. Prep- 
 arations were in progress for a final exit to the 
 Hill of Zion ; all was hurry and laying plans for 
 the journey; property was sold at auction for 
 half its value. Joseph Smith was the one who 
 dictated in all matters relative to alleviating 
 those who were officially detained in other busi- 
 ness. The Colesville church had now arrived, 
 but would necessarily stay until the committee 
 should give directions from Missouri, for them 
 and other churches which were constantly com- 
 ing into Kirtland, as all things were ordered to 
 be done in order and in wisdom, by Joseph 
 Smith, the prophet. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 We were detained a few months in Kirtland, 
 and during this time my sister was preparing, 
 as all others were, to be ready whenever the 
 word came to go to Missouri. I remember, as 
 we were busily engaged, I said to her that I had 
 but little faith in Mormonism, and would much 
 rather go home. " How absurd you talk," she 
 said. "Did you not ask God for a witness?" 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 6 1 
 
 " Most assuredly, I made this an item in a 
 special manner," I replied. " Well, did you 
 ever get an answer?". "Now sister," I said, 
 " I will tell you all about that. It is probable 
 you will remember soon after you made this 
 request that I should ask God for a witness, I 
 came into the house one day, and looking very 
 pale and frightened, you asked me what made 
 so great a change in my looks; but feeling as 
 I did, I gave no answer. I will now explain all. 
 I have said I went into the woods, and after 
 selecting a place, I knelt in prayer, and as I 
 was earnestly engaged, there came three loud 
 blows on the log, 39 near me that I felt the 
 wind of the sudden strokes visibly. I then 
 arose, and on looking around I could see 
 nothing. All was still; not even a leaf stirred 
 to break the death-like silence. I then ran to 
 the house, as frightened as when you saw me 
 looking so pale." " Did you take that as evi- 
 dence of the truth of the Mormons?" asked 
 my sister. " Not by any means," I replied; "I 
 took it exactly the reverse. God's works are 
 in love and tenderness. Indeed, I never could 
 make out what this could mean ; sometimes I 
 have thought this was the work of the devil to 
 deceive me, my dear sister." This reminds me 
 of what Christ said: "And when he putteth 
 
62 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and 
 the sheep follow him, for they know his voice; 
 and a stranger will they not follow, but will flee 
 from him, for they know not the voice of a 
 stranger." 
 
 Now, after the above conversation, Sarah 
 said: "And this is why your faith is lacking, 
 is it? " " The reason," I said, "is simply this: 
 The bible carries with it a spirit of conviction ; 
 the book of Mormon is- totally void of the spirit 
 of conviction; the bible begets a living faith; 
 the book of Mormon is too mysterious to beget 
 any. Finally, I am not afraid to venture my 
 hopes of happiness on the bible, while I should 
 be afraid to risk my eternal all on the other." 
 I deeply lamented that I had ever been so 
 foolish as to fall in with anything so absurd and 
 unreasonable, the votaries of which I am una- 
 ble to tell whether they really are to be pitied 
 rather than censured. There were now hun- 
 dreds who were called people of good sense 
 and judgment, men who were valued in good 
 society ; yet they were firm believers in Mor- 
 monism. I will say, as regards polygamy, it 
 was not yet thought of or mentioned among 
 the Mormons. I am willing to be qualified to 
 this assertion. I mention this fact because there 
 are those who think it has been practiced in the 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 63 
 
 church from the first. This r however, is a mis- 
 take, and we will not lay more to their charge 
 than they are absolutely deserving. The prob- 
 ability is they will not fall short in this respect 
 when they are weighed in the balance. 
 
 Now, as time advanced, the little church from 
 Colesville received word from those commis- 
 sioners who were sent by the church to Mis- 
 souri to look out lands, and, as preparation had 
 already been made for the journey, we all 
 started for the Ohio river in wagons twenty- 
 four in number, twelve in each company. The 
 company I was in was called Newell Knight's, 
 and we started one day in advance of the oth- 
 ers, as provisions could be more readily pur- 
 chased for twelve teams than for twenty-four. 
 People all along the road stared at us as they 
 would at a circus or a caravan, and our appear- 
 ance did not deceive the public eye. We most 
 truly were a band of pilgrims, started out to 
 seek a better country. On arriving at the Ohio 
 river, at a place called Big Beaver, we put up 
 at hotels and awaited the second company's ar- 
 rival. Fortunately there were no crying chil- 
 dren in our band. Our patronage was not 
 partial to only one hotel, and this gave us an 
 opportunity to receive the generous hospitality 
 of all the boarding houses in this little village. 
 
64 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 The next day we all embarked on a steam- 
 boat bound for Cincinnati; from thence to the 
 Missouri river. In our journey Joseph Smith 
 and Sidney Rigdon came on board the boat; 
 this was not expected when we left Kirtland. 
 However, I noticed there was something which 
 we did not all understand. I did not criticise 
 the matter very closely, as it did not concern 
 me, therefore I will only mention a remark 
 which I accidentally heard made by Sidney 
 Rigdon in conversation with Joseph Smith and 
 the officials of the Colesville church. It was 
 this: "I wish my name was buried in oblivion," 
 at the same time bringing his hand down with 
 violence upon his knee. Another circumstance 
 I will also mention: I observed that Smith and 
 Rigdon were not seen in the day time while 
 they were on the boat. The inference which I 
 drew from these facts was, that they expected 
 officers of the law were in close pursuit of them. 
 However, we accomplished our journey with- 
 out any molestation. We were told we w r ere 
 the most peaceable and quiet emigrants they: 
 had ever carried west; "no profanity, no bad 
 language, no gambling and no drinking," said 
 the captain, as he was good-naturedly talking 
 with some of the head ones of our company. 
 We were nearing the place of our landing. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 65 
 
 We now resorted to flat boats to take us up 
 the river to the mouth of Big Blue, in Jackson 
 county, and to the ferry landing, and here we 
 disembarked and our journey was ended, ex- 
 cept a few miles by land into the country. My 
 first impression was, " is this the Hill of Zion, 
 a land prepared for the Saints?" And as I had 
 been informed of the direction, I walked on in 
 advance of the company, not intending to lose 
 sight of those who were shortly coming. I 
 walked on slowly, thinking how strange it was 
 to think of this being the Hill of Zion, when 
 suddenly an Indian made his appearance, with 
 a rifle on his shoulder. This was the first In- 
 dian I had ever seen, and I must confess I was 
 considerably startled at his appearance. When 
 he saw me he took a roundabout way, and did 
 not look at me as I noticed. I had seen one of 
 the so-called Lamonites, and also the so-called 
 land of promise. 
 
CHAPTER XV. 
 
 The church had become numerous within a 
 year or two after we arrived, and we were in a 
 new country, without farming machinery to 
 work with, the effects of which aroused them 
 to something still more difficult than to pur- 
 chase farms; therefore teams were dispatched 
 to St. Louis for the purpose of obtaining the 
 necessary implements for farming purposes. 
 This required the space of four days to accom- 
 plish, in making one trip. The demand for 
 ^farming tools increased, as the Mormons were 
 constantly coming into Jackson county. Con- 
 sequently teams were constantly on the road to 
 St. Louis, not only for farming machinery, but 
 for other necessaries, such as mercantile goods, 
 all of such as were needful, both in groceries 
 and dry goods. Probably it is indispensably 
 requisite to say that all the money belonging to 
 the wealthy members of the Mormon commu- 
 nity was put into the church treasury; and one 
 man had the entire charge of air financial affairs. 
 Had it not been thus, there would have been 
 great suffering among the poor and the aged, 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 67 
 
 who were in this way both fed and clothed 
 Probably this is the origin of the report that 
 they had all things in common; and this is true. 
 The poor were provided for, as well as those 
 who had put their money into the treasury. 
 They were all satisfied and happy to all ap- 
 pearance, and all seemed to enjoy them- 
 selves. 
 
 The time to break prairie had come, and it 
 was a strange sight indeed, to see four or five 
 yoke of oxen turning up the rich soil. Fencing 
 and other improvements went on in rapid suc- 
 cession. Cabins were built and prepared for 
 families as fast as time, money and labor could 
 accomplish the work ; and our homes in this 
 new country presented a prosperous appear- 
 ance almost equal to Paradise itself and 
 our peace and happiness, as we flattered our- 
 selves, were not in a great degree deficient to 
 that of our first parents in the garden of Eden, 
 as no labor or painstaking was spared in the 
 cultivation of flowers and shrubbery of a choice 
 selection,, from a green-house in St. Louis mar- 
 ket. I was not of a criticising nature, conse- 
 quently 1 had not as yet seen anything to stag- 
 ger my faith in the sincerity of the Saints. I 
 can furthermore say, I was pleased with the 
 country, and became more and more reconciled 
 
68 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 trying daily, in my own mind, to make the dif- 
 ferences appear consistent. 
 
 In the year 1833 I was married to a young 
 man from our own neighborhood, in the state 
 of New York a nephew of the governor of 
 the state of Vermont. He was of rich parent- 
 age, and of high respectability; and having 
 received the many honors and hospitalities and 
 congratulations of our numerous friends, and 
 spending a few weeks in traveling, we located 
 on a farm in a settlement near my sister Sarah's 
 pleasant home. It was at this period we prom- 
 ised ourselves a happy, enjoyable life; a life of 
 peace and plenty ; a life devoted to the service 
 of God; a life of benevolence to those who 
 were unfortunate and needy ; a life to bind up 
 the broken-hearted and comfort the mourner; 
 a life to teach by example, as well as precept; 
 a life of charity; a life to show to the world that 
 we had been with Christ, and learned of Him. 
 
 On several occasions we received intelligence 
 that the inhabitants of Jackson county were 
 displeased at the idea of so many coming into 
 the county. They said the range for their cat- 
 tle would be taken by the Mormon cattle, and 
 the " shuck " was devoured by the Mormon 
 pigs; and they boldly declared they would not 
 suffer this so to be; and to maintain their integ- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 69 
 
 rity, complaint was made to the state authorities 
 and the governor issued a command that every 
 Mormon should leave the county at once. But 
 the Saints refused to obey the order. The 
 Mormons said they had paid their money just 
 the same as others. " Yes, we have paid for 
 our land," said they, " and in accordance with 
 the laws of the land and the constitution, we 
 have, therefore, the same right as other citizens, 
 and we propose to stick to our farms." On 
 hearing this, the Missourians rose en masse and 
 demanded all fire-arms, and I believe they suc- 
 ceeded in getting a few old shot guns and old 
 axes belonging to the Mormons, and then rode 
 off, with their broad-rimmed hats and blanket 
 overcoats, which costume was in those days 
 characteristic of a fully developed Missourian. 
 Deeming their courage without a rival, they 
 twirled their broad-rimmed hats in the tri- 
 umphant thought that they had disarmed the 
 Mormons. They visited us the next Sabbath 
 in order to ascertain our intention as regarded 
 the governor's command. The Saints replied 
 that they would resist unto blood. Then war 
 commenced between the two parties; the 
 former declaring if we were not gone by the 
 Sabbath following they would exterminate 
 every man, woman and child remaining; and 
 
y LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 when they visited us again they would visit us 
 with terror. Among those who was thus 
 breathing out threats, a man by the name of 
 Mr. E. Campbell was sent out to their horses, 
 which were standing before the door, to get a 
 loaded pistol. The horse pistol was brought 
 into the house and preparations were made for 
 that which had been previously threatened; 
 and stepping up to my sister-in-law with his 
 murderous weapon, he said: "Madam, where 
 is your husband? tell me the truth; do you see 
 this weapon, which is only waiting for your 
 heart's blood?" My sister-in-law calmly re- 
 plied that she knew nothing as to his where- 
 abouts, and could not tell anything more about 
 it. " Well, can you tell us when the Yankee's 
 intend to leave this county?" said he. " No, I 
 cannot," she replied. "Now, madam," said 
 the leader, "if you are not gone by next Sun- 
 day (stamping his foot, which caused the house 
 to tremble), do you now understand? I say death 
 will be your portion if you are here over an- 
 other Sunday." So saying, they all mounted 
 their horses and hastened away to another Mor- 
 mon settlement, where they dealt out the same 
 horrible abuse. 
 
 The day following we received intelligence 
 that the Missourians were close upon us ; and 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. yi 
 
 no sooner had the news reached our settlement 
 than every man flew to their arms, drew them 
 from their hiding places, loaded, shouldered 
 and started to the scene of action. A battle 
 ensued, and many were killed and several 
 wounded, both of the Saints and Missourians. 
 This difliculty lasted several months, and the 
 Mormons, not willing to give up their farms, 
 suffered great damages and endured many very 
 great hardships, being deprived of the privi- 
 lege of lodging in their own houses at night; 
 and there was no safety in burning lights or 
 speaking a loud word after nightfall. This or- 
 der of things was kept up until late in autumn. 
 During this time the governor's command was 
 repeated, that the Saints should leave Jackson 
 county, and that Clay county should be a place 
 of safety for them. Colonel Atchison was, to 
 all appearance, a friend of the Mormon church, 
 and through his counsel and advice the Saints 
 agreed on the conditions that, if Jackson county 
 people would buy their improvements and 
 farms with the produce, then, for the sake of 
 peace, they would leave the county. The coun- 
 sel of Colonel Atchison was, that the Mormons 
 would act more wisely to move directly, as cold 
 weather would set in before they could possibly 
 get arrangements made comfortable for their 
 
72 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 families. " In view of this, I will see that you 
 all have your rights," said the Colonel. "You 
 come and get your produce, and your farms 
 can be sold at your own time ; but get your 
 families in comfortable quarters and then look 
 after your property, is my advice," he said. 
 His advice was not very pleasing to the Latter 
 Day Saints. However, if there was a " must " 
 in the case, there remained no alternative, and 
 we gathered up what little we could take in 
 wagons and crossed the Missouri river and 
 pitched our tents in Clay county, on the bank 
 of the river. Many were taken with chills and 
 fever, and altogether the Mormons presented a 
 pitiable spectacle. 
 
 At this distressing period, every man who 
 was able to work went to the farmers for em- 
 ployment, in order to maintain their families. 
 I will say for the praise of Clay county that a 
 more free and generous people I never saw in 
 any country. The Colesville church, together 
 with twenty or thirty other branches of the 
 Mormon church, had already arrived at this 
 point, and more were on the way, and many 
 were camped on the river below, and some 
 above us. We lived in tents until winter set in, 
 and did our cooking out in the wind and storms. 
 Log heaps were our parlor stoves, and the cold, 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS, 
 
 73 
 
 wet ground our velvet carpets, and the crying 
 of little children our piano forte; while the 
 shivering, sick people hovered over the burn- 
 ing log piles here and there, some begging for 
 cold water and others for hot coffee or tea. 
 We found it convenient to have near neighbors; 
 if we wished to borrow we had not far to go 
 after it; and the hottest log heap was hunted 
 out by those whose chill was just coming on. 
 The snow covered our sleeping tents, and the 
 scene reminded one of the gathering of the 
 house of Israel. Every tent was covered with 
 snow six or eight inches deep. It now looked 
 more like a city than before the snow fall. In 
 our tent my husband had obtained boards and 
 made a floor, and then, spreading the large buf- 
 falo robe over the boards, made our sleeping 
 tent look comfortable, and our pride was to 
 keep it tidy. 
 
 In the latter part of winter the Mormons 
 built cabins, and made them convenient and 
 comfortable also. The floors were made of 
 puncheons and the roofing made of oak shin- 
 gles, which served wondrously well in the place 
 of a better material. As people, although we 
 did not enjoy the legal rights of civilized citi- 
 zens, yet we maintained the right of freedom of 
 conscience ; neither could we be deprived of the 
 
hA LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 liberty of serving God according to our views. 
 We also had the liberty of thought, and ac- 
 cording to the constitution the liberty of speech 
 also. Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon had 
 long since left Missouri and gone to Kirtland, 
 where the Saints were gathering, and where 
 the former was president of the Kirtland bank- 
 ing house, and Sidney Rigdon vice-president; 
 therefore, their attention and interest were un- 
 mistakably requisite. Not only this, but the 
 fact that the Mormon church was building a 
 temple ; this also called them to that place to 
 oversee the work. 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 Now a new joy sprang up in our cottage 
 home. A little daughter had come to brighten 
 our hopes, to cheer and strengthen our efforts 
 along life's rugged pathway. Then came beau- 
 tiful spring, with its birds and flowers, and the 
 river running not far from our little cottage 
 door. All was quietude and harmony ; no rail- 
 ing, threatening mob to disturb us then, for we 
 had the promise of a peaceful and safe posses- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 75 
 
 sion. Here let me pause for one moment and 
 ask one question: Dear reader, how would you 
 enjoy this? Think you, the notes of birds, or 
 the beautiful tinted flowers, or the flowing river, 
 would soothe your aching, injured heart and 
 spirit; driven from your hard earned homes, 
 and compelled to wander without home or 
 shelter; being buiTetted and smitten, until the 
 blood ran down the clothes of those who tried 
 to obtain their grain and other produce in Jack- 
 son county; after being bruised with sled stakes, 
 they were brought home by those of the com- 
 pany who were fortunate enough to escape 
 their blood-stained hands. This was done with- 
 out provocation. I beg leave to say that my 
 faith in Mormonism never was firmly estab- 
 lished, by any means, and I never could see the 
 consistency of this mysterious faith; but give 
 me the true gospel of Christ, and then I feel 
 that my feet are firmly fixed upon the rock ; 
 and without hesitation I will say, I am a be- 
 liever in consistency in every case. That which 
 is right is under all circumstances approvable. 
 Nevertheless, two wrongs did not make one 
 right in this case. How. true it is, that the 
 wicked pass on from one degree of wickedness 
 to another; they pass on and are punished. If 
 the Mormons were a deceived people, there 
 
76 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 were many well meaning people among them 
 who had toiled to procure homes for themselves, 
 and it was not according to the law of God or 
 man to drive them from their possessions. " I 
 allow," said my husband, one day as we were 
 talking this matter over, " that there is a time 
 when 'forbearance ceases to be a virtue;' and 
 in my opinion in this example the blame unmis- 
 takably rests upon our persecutors. It is right 
 to a certain extent to show charity and pity to 
 those who err, and more especially to those who 
 are innocent, and still misled by others." 
 " That is true," I said, " and I am glad to hear 
 you make that remark." " May I ask you why 
 you are glad?" said my husband. "Well, that 
 looks to me as though you considered the Mor- 
 mons a misled people." " Very well, supposing 
 they are a deluded sect, is that any reason why 
 a greater calamity should come upon us? Is it 
 not better to pity than chide the erring? This 
 is not the way to reclaim the wicked. ' Weep 
 with those who weep, and rejoice with those 
 who rejoice.' " 
 
 And let me say, furthermore, if a being upon 
 whom the allwise Creator has bestowed the 
 finer feelings of a sympathetic nature, smothers 
 and buries within the deep recesses of its own 
 heart all those feelings which awaken at the 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 77 
 
 misfortune of others, is it doing wrong by dis- 
 obeying the laws which a Supreme Being has 
 established, who would hide his face to blush 
 and weep over a withered and broken flower? 
 it is so life like ; or some frail bud, which we 
 have especially nourished long and tenderly, 
 that has prematurely and suddenly withered 
 away like the last soft tint of the declining sun 
 upon a summer sky, nature is all beautiful; 
 and, were it not intended that our hearts should 
 be stirred even each emotion therein, by the 
 sight of so much purity, why, then these beau- 
 ties which surround us? What mission have 
 the flowers but to teach us our own fraility, 
 and inspire us to good and generous actions. 
 And thus, if we would look into objects which 
 the breath of the Almighty has brought into 
 existence, we would draw therefrom some very 
 useful and needed lessons. 
 
 " Life," says an able writer, " is like the flow 
 of a mighty river that is ever hastening onward 
 to the goal that is beyond, until it is almost lost 
 in immensity; and yet still preserving its iden- 
 tity; and we shall preserve our own individu- 
 ality while wandering through the illimited 
 space, and our life and character formed here, 
 will correspond with that life which shall be 
 hereafter." Then why not strive to beautify the 
 
y8 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 soul while here, and throw around it every 
 charm that could allure an angel from its bright 
 abode? The human soul is like a bright bird 
 that flutters and flings itself against the bars of 
 its dark prison house, striving in vain to free 
 itself and soar away to some more congenial 
 clime, where the weary, throbbing heart shall be 
 still and the sweet gentle voice of its dear mate 
 would soothe it to rest. The little bird that 
 blithly hops from tree to tree, strives not to 
 stifle the feelings that are swelling in its little 
 breast, but pours them forth in one long, thrill- 
 ing gush of melody; filling the air with its cry 
 of joy, or its shrill-piercing notes of woe, until 
 its song seems to die away and is lost, perhaps 
 in some distant realm of the spirit-land where 
 they are caught up and re-echoed by the glori- 
 ous Paradisiacal hosts, until its silvery chime fills 
 all the arches of yonder glorious heaven. 
 
 What a charming thought, that we are at- 
 tended by some pure being from the celestial 
 world, and that our departed friends are ever 
 waiting to administer to our happiness; to 
 whisper words of comfort, of love and wisdom, 
 and point us onward to that haven of rest! 
 Since life can do but little save to allure us for a 
 while, with its soft' balmy air or the fragrance 
 of flowers and the melody of birds and the flow 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 79 
 
 of pure streamlets, let us look upward to the 
 throne of light, and entreat the good, the beau- 
 tiful and the true, to come and dwell with us ; 
 and by their pure and loving influence, allure 
 our minds to dwell on things heavenly, and as- 
 sist us to cultivate our heart's emotions aright, 
 that we may ever " rejoice with those who re- 
 joice, and weep with those who weep." 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 We are still living in our cabins. Our church, 
 or rather the building in which we worshipped, 
 was built very large and cohimodious, suitable 
 to accommodate eight families; and on the 
 Sabbath and one evening in every week the 
 church assembled for worship in the building. 
 There were two large fire-places, the chimneys 
 of which were built of sticks and mortar; built 
 very particular and straight. The logs of this 
 building were hewed, and the entire building 
 elegantly whitewashed outwardly, and papered 
 inside; all of which was very creditably done. 
 It was, in fact, a parsonage, as no other than 
 
80 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 the elders of the church lived in that building. 
 It was called the White House, from the fact 
 that there was no other cabin whitewashed, 
 except this, in our settlement. Some of our 
 Gentile neighbors would attend meeting on the 
 Sabbath, probably through curiosity, as it is 
 my opinion they never entered a place of wor- 
 ship in all their life before. The voice of prayer 
 and singing averted their attention from the 
 hunting ground of the dense forest, and they 
 seemed to enjoy sitting with us in meeting. 
 
 " The sound of a church-going bell 
 
 These valleys and rocks never heard ; 
 Never sighed at the sound of a knell, 
 Or smiled when the Sabbath appeared." 
 
 " The proud willows seem to waive over our 
 humble cottage," said my husband, as we were 
 enjoying the cool evening breeze from the river; 
 " and their proud tops whisper defiance to our 
 rising above our present condition," he con- 
 tinued, a yet my darling, we are young, and our 
 means to procure another home is not by any 
 means exhausted, so you need not weep over 
 our misfortune. Our little Nellie will be pro- 
 vided for, God being my helper. Another 
 thing I have to comfort me, that is there is not 
 a spot upon God's throne that will appear 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 8 1 
 
 against me in any respect, which has brought 
 this calamity upon us, I have wronged no one, 
 and if you remember, my dear, he continued, 
 they told us if we would renounce Mormonism, 
 we could remain there and be respectable citi- 
 zens among them." " Yes," I replied hesitat- 
 ingly, " I remember one Sabbath as they met us 
 as we were going home from church." " Yes, 
 that is the time; and about the respectability, 
 what did you think of that," asked my husband, 
 laughingly. "I was just going to say the 
 mantle would fall upon us in that respect." 
 
 We found it not in our nature to settle down 
 in poverty and degradation, and resolved to put 
 forth our best energies to acquire a better po- 
 sition. However, it was not the order of the 
 Mormon church for any of the members to 
 separate from the main body, and the Coles- 
 ville church remained together. Therefore our 
 experience in many respects differed from that 
 of other branches of the church. 
 
 Some of the Jackson county persecutors vis- 
 ited our side of the river, in companies of four 
 and five in number; what their mission was we 
 did not learn; however, in one instance they 
 came with a flat boat, and after drawing the 
 boat upon the land, they shouldered their rifles 
 and went over the bluffs in pursuit of game. 
 
82 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 While they tarried, some of the Mormons find- 
 ing the boat, took oft' a plank and bored several 
 places in the bottom of the boat and placed the 
 plank back as before. The men came, and 
 finding the boat all right, as they supposed, 
 started over, and before they reached the mid- 
 dle of the river the boat sank, and two of the 
 men were drowned. One of the men who 
 were drowned was Mr. E. Campbell, the one 
 who threatened extermination to our men, wo- 
 men and children in Jackson county. The 
 other unfortunate man was one of Campbell's 
 own accomplices. 
 
 The time had now arrived to commence 
 farming, and we rented a farm two miles from 
 the river. This farm was ample for two or 
 three families. According to this considera- 
 tion, my husband and two of his brothers, also 
 his mother and sister, Mrs. Rogers, removed 
 to this more convenient place for each family. 
 We now enjoyed a peaceable habitation; al- 
 though our Gentile neighbors were slavehold- 
 ers, yet they were warm-hearted, friendly and 
 obliging. The second year we were afflicted 
 with chills and fever, which continued through 
 the entire season, and not one escaped this 
 dreadful malady. There were none on whom 
 we could depend for even a drink of water. I 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 83 
 
 have visited hospitals, but never witnessed any 
 sickness as distressing as this. Newell Knight, 
 my brother-in-law, lived among the bluffs, a 
 mile and a half from the river. A thick forest 
 surrounded their wigwam; for it was truly an 
 Indian camp, or wigwam. I think I never saw 
 a more broken piece of land, the bluffs running 
 up to a point, the top of which was so sharp it 
 would be impossible for a man to stand with 
 both feet on the summit. Away down amidst 
 those massive mountains my sister and her in- 
 fant child are sleeping in one casket. They are 
 folded together in that mansion where the 
 lambs of Christ are gathered; there is Sarah 
 and her infant. 
 
 Count .rue thy sister, O, thou weary one, 
 Struggling along amid the toils of life ; 
 
 Standing erect, though almost overcome, 
 Waging a warfare in unequal strife. 
 
 Count me thy sister, O, thou sore oppressed, 
 Wearing a bond which fetters thee to earth ; 
 
 Enduring wrongs which ne'er can be redress' d, 
 'Till death shall issue in thy heavenly birth. 
 
 Count me thy sister, tried and tempted soul, 
 
 Seeking for light, though smothered by the dark ; 
 
 Lured by the siren's voice, yet keeping whole 
 The soul's purest virtue and the spotless heart. 
 
84 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 Count me thy sister, O, thou son of Him, 
 Who with patient tenderness loveth all ; * 
 
 Help me to do thy will, forsake all sin, 
 
 That I may hear thy sweet voice shortly call, 
 And own me thine, thy sister we shall meet. 
 
 After sister Sarah's departure I sent my pa- 
 rents the sad intelligence of our loss. The an- 
 swer was undelayed, and they uniformly partook 
 with me in our bereavement; not as those who 
 have no hope, for we were not separated for- 
 ever; only a few short days and we will meet 
 again in a more congenial clime, where sorrow 
 and death will not disturb our peace. 
 
 The chills and fever continued with us. It 
 seemed to have an attraction which was hard to 
 shake off. I took my sister's sick child, a little 
 boy two years old, and now I had two sick 
 babies, besides being sick myself with chills and 
 fever, and also a paralytic stroke came upon 
 me, from rinsing clothes in cold water. My 
 husband was also ill until winter, and in fact 
 until after the holidays. This gigantic disease 
 we found more difficult to contend with than it 
 was for Israel to contend with the Canaanites; 
 and as we began to recover, the demand for 
 food would have tempted us to become para- 
 sitical in order to obtain a good rich meal of 
 victuals. In fact, so exhorbitant was our demand 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 85 
 
 that a quarter of beef, in the eyes of those three 
 families, looked like a small pittance. 
 
 The winter was a severe one, and as a mat- 
 ter of course we endured very many hardships, 
 and in those terrible chastisements we were re- 
 membered in mercy ; and although in a country 
 of wicked practices, in some measure, yet for- 
 bearance on our part was a harbinger of safety, 
 and prudence our maxim. At all events we 
 were blessed with a better retreat than horse- 
 racing, gambling, drinking and profanity, even 
 to a Mormon meeting on the Sabbath, where 
 prayer was wont to be made, and where the 
 voice of singing made the forest ring with mel- 
 ody, and rejoice at a sound it never had 
 heard. 
 
 A year had now passed since my sister's 
 death. Newell Knight had been to Kirtland, 
 and returning with a wife they took little Sam- 
 uel to their own home. Having now been freed 
 from the care of this interesting little boy, an- 
 other precious treasure filled our hearts with 
 joy. It was another beautiful little girLhad 
 come to cheer us, amid the toil and care of our 
 pilgrim life, and enrich our ideas of the useful- 
 ness of our existence, and the importance of a 
 well refined example. The church now assem- 
 bled to make arrangements for purchasing 
 
86 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 farms. It was therefore put to vote in this as- 
 sembly, and carried, that Newell Knight, I. 
 Morly, aricl J. Carrel, were elected to go to Cald- 
 well county, Missouri, and look out lands for 
 the Mormon church. On returning, they 
 brought a good report, that the site was far su- 
 perior to any they had previously seen ; a good 
 grazing country, plenty of timber and good 
 water, and few inhabitants. We at once began 
 to pull up stakes again for another removal; 
 and the time was well occupied until we were 
 again settled, in our new homes. The church 
 soon built up a city on a rolling, expansive prai- 
 rie. One could feel at home, and be satisfied 
 with the prospect. My husband bought farm- 
 ing land and timber sufficient for a lifetime ; he 
 also built a dwelling house in the city. Our city 
 lot was one acre of ground, and all required 
 buildings were properly erected. Finding 
 this part of the country far superior to Jackson 
 county, the Saints proposed to abide there per- 
 manently. Preparations were being made for 
 building a temple upon the most sightly place 
 in the city of Far West, for this was the name; 
 but this could not be done until the ground was 
 dedicated, and the corner stone must be also 
 dedicated, or some ceremony performed, and 
 the prophet Joseph Smith was the only efficient 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 87 
 
 one who had the power or authority to officiate 
 in such matters. 
 
 In the year 1835 (as near as my memory 
 serves me), in the latter part of June, the .bishop 
 of the church sent for Brother Joseph, as he 
 was called, to come to Far West city immedi- 
 ately, on important business. At this period 
 the bank of Kirtland was under good opera- 
 tion. However, Joseph made due arrange- 
 ments in consideration of the banking business, 
 and came to Far West, accompanied by Sidney 
 Rigdon. They remained in Far West until 
 after the fourth of July. Preparations were 
 made for the dedication, and nothing remained 
 excepting to roll the stone to its proper place; 
 and this was to be accomplished on the day of 
 the fourth of July. Independence day came; 
 the Saints assembled at the bower. The speak- 
 er ascended to the stand accompanied by Smith. 
 The speaker, which was no other than Rigdon, 
 and his attendant, took their seats and awaited 
 the assemblage. Our city was visited on this 
 occasion by people from a distance, among 
 whom were some of the broad-rims, as was no- 
 ticed by the Saints. The speaker and attend- 
 ant came down from the stand and proceeded 
 to the place where the corner stone of the tem- 
 ple was to be laid. Joseph Smith made a 
 
88 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 prayer, after which the Saints sung a piece 
 composed for this purpose. Then a few re- 
 marks were made by L. Pattrage, the bishop 
 of the church, and one of the high priests, and 
 Parley Pratt, an elder of the church; then sing- 
 ing, and the benediction, pronounced by Joseph 
 Smith. After which they proceeded to their 
 respective seats. The constitution was read 
 by P. P. Pratt. Sidney Rigdon followed by 
 delivering an address on the liberty and free- 
 dom of the American people, and wound up by 
 saying he defied the people of Caldwell county 
 to drive us from Far West and the country ad- 
 joining; that the Great Jehovah would interfere 
 and fight our battles for us. This was con- 
 firmed by the Saints, and three loud and long 
 cheers and amens rent the air. At this a very 
 great excitement arose among the old settlers, 
 and Rigdon's life could not have been insured 
 for five coppers. The people were all crazy 
 with excitement, running and rushing to and 
 from, and tumbling one over another in every 
 direction. I must say I was rejoiced to make 
 exit with my two little children, with the help 
 of my husband. 
 
 This remark from Mr. Rigdon was procuct- 
 ive of much evil. We endured threatening on 
 every hand. Troops were sent to Far West to 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 89 
 
 keep down insurrection. Our gardens and 
 barns were plundered. The church tried in 
 vain to secure their property, but found that 
 nothing \\ as safe from the hands of the militia. 
 At this point I observed a secret Mormon meet- 
 ing W as called, and my conclusion was that 
 they were forming a treaty. However, this 
 was not the case. Their plan was to form a 
 club called "Danites." Those were of the 
 rough class of people; those who, through 
 good fortune, rather than good management, 
 escaped from the law of justice and found pro- 
 tection in the Mormon church. Of what the 
 ceremony of initiating members consisted, I am 
 not able to say, as this was a profound secret. 
 This club formed their own laws and customs, 
 and each officer and member was apprised of 
 each one's success or defeat. The mission of 
 Danites is to rob, murder and steal, or do any 
 wicked act, especially to those who leave the 
 church. Nothing is considered too hostile for 
 one who leaves the Mormon church. " Better 
 not to have known the way, than after they 
 have known it to depart from it." This is 
 their maxim, and a general principle throughout 
 the church; and this principle is just as unalter- 
 able as the laws of the Medes and Persians 
 among the Mormons. 
 
00 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 At this period three hundred mounted men 
 were stationed among us, and their aim was to 
 take the town and hold us prisoners until we 
 were set at liberty, by each family separating 
 out and moving off by themselves, as soon as 
 prepa-ations could be made. Two of those 
 militia officers boarded with us while we re- 
 mained in Far West. Some time previous to 
 this state of affairs I had begged of my hus- 
 band to leave the Mormons ; to sell what prop- 
 erty we could for ready money, and leave the 
 remainder, for we would be obliged to leave all 
 we had if we remained there. This was 
 now clearly apparent to my husband, and to 
 our desponding hearts. After being apprised 
 of the depredations of the Danites in the sur- 
 rounding country, we became more and more 
 averse to the hazardous management of the so- 
 called Latter Day Saints, and 1 for one strove 
 hard to free myself from this awful state of 
 things ; and, under the consideration that I could 
 speak out my views about the inconsistency of 
 Mormonism (having the officers placed in our 
 reach), I felt safe to say as I thought about this 
 matter, and not feel that I would be given over 
 to the mercy of the Danites, who were at this 
 time lurking in ambush far out in the country, 
 and at night they came forth in pursuit of spoil, 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 9 1 
 
 coming into Far West just before the break 
 of day. 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 " Have you seen the spoil which was brought 
 into town?" This question came from a young 
 lady who came to our well for water, a little 
 before sunrise one fine morning. " No, I Jiave 
 not," I answered. " Well, make some errand 
 over, and as you pass that " (pointing to a wag- 
 on), "just, for' pity sake, cast your eye into the 
 wagon and see the plunder; then come into the 
 house and Mrs. Stebbins will give you some- 
 thing to take home, for we know not who is 
 watching." According to Miss CorrelFs sug- 
 gestion, I put on my sunbonnet and went over; 
 I passed several steps beyond the wagon, and 
 then turned back to the wagon. I looked in, 
 and there was dead geese and chickens, and a 
 pig dressed without scalding; an old plow, two 
 or three shovels, three or four hoes, and grain 
 in sacks, and corn and firewood. I then passed 
 into the house, where we enjoyed a hearty 
 laugh. Mrs. Stebbins gave me something done 
 
p 2 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 up in a paper to take home, in order to keep 
 down suspicion, if any were criticising our 
 movements. When I opened the paper her 
 sunbonnet dropped out. 
 
 Many days and nights we labored to accom- 
 plish what we most desired, even to the sacri- 
 fice of all we possessed. And, in conclusive 
 views of our aim we departed from the state of 
 Missouri, leaving all we possessed, except our 
 team and a few household goods. Having 
 three little ones now to care for, and not suffi- 
 cient means to make another beginning, my 
 husband became disheartened ; his courage in 
 some degree faltered. Yet this he tried to con- 
 ceal from me. I saw all; would that my knowl- 
 edge of this could become a night dream, from 
 which I could wake and say, " It's a dream." 
 
 Our purpose for a stopping place was de- 
 cided upon after leaving Far West. Our com- 
 pany consisted of my husband's two brothers, 
 his mother and sister; we had three covered 
 wagons in the company. Pittsfield, Illinois; was 
 agreed upon for our present locality. After 
 arriving there we were guests at Springer's 
 hotel for some weeks, or until a proper location 
 for farming could be procured. Winter being 
 over, my husband and his eldest brother, who 
 was also a farmer, had taken land of Colonel 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 93 
 
 Ross and Captain Davis, of Pittsfield; and now 
 it remained with us to test the truth of the 
 proverb which says: "Better is a dry morsel 
 and quietness therewith, than a house full of 
 sacrifices, with strife;" although the alarming 
 condition of my husband's health often brought 
 my courage low, as to even a dry morsel. The 
 consumption, which was his disease, laid a sure 
 foundation for my fears. The farm which we 
 occupied was one-half mile from Pittsfield, and 
 was not by any means productive. However, 
 Colonel Ross was not a selfish man ; I believe 
 he gave us nearly all we raised the first year, 
 and the second year we left the place and re- 
 moved to Pittsfield before the crops were gath- 
 ered, as we found it difficult in the latter part 
 of the season to get water. Another consider- 
 ation was, we were away from any school, 
 church or neighbors. There was yet another: In 
 the village I could work at the millinery busi- 
 ness, and thus help my husband a little. Our 
 children now numbered four, and my husband's 
 youngest brother remained with us. We ap- 
 preciated the privilege of living in a land of 
 peace, and felt at times that we had nothing to 
 trouble us; no hostile foe to encounter; no 
 threatening mob to dread when we retired at 
 night; even the recollection of which fills me 
 
9 4 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 with astonishment. That we were brave- 
 hearted enough to sojourn in such a land of 
 wickedness and strife, and endure such hard- 
 ships as we endured, and for such a long period, 
 is surprising. 
 
 My husband's eldest brother, his sister and 
 mother, all moved to Nauvoo, where the Mor- 
 mons had gathered after leaving Far West. 
 This desolate place was called Commerce, at 
 this period, and there were not more than a 
 dozen inhabitants there. It was afterwards 
 called Nauvoo, by the Mormons, a Hebrew 
 name, the interpretation of which is, " Pleasant 
 Land." The Mormons all gathered at this 
 point, and improvements were rapidly made. 
 Every improvement was calculated to give 
 place for others of the Mormon society to come 
 to ; so that all things should, so far as possible, 
 be prepared before hand for those who were 
 coming from Kirtland. 
 
 We often received news from our relatives in 
 Nauvoo relative to the proceedings and pur- 
 poses of the church; and, through newspapers, 
 we observed many reports which were pub- 
 lished, probably by mistaken individuals, and 
 so far as we knew of these by experience, we 
 gave no heed to them. However, in many re- 
 spects the analogy of these reports were not 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 95 
 
 detected only by those who had the experience. 
 This calls my attention to one thing in partic- 
 ular : One beautiful morning my husband came 
 in with a newspaper in his hand, saying he had 
 something he wished to read to me. It was the 
 testimony of an English girl against Brigham 
 Young and others. She stated that while on a 
 visit from her school to Nauvoo, to her mother's, 
 she called on'a lady friend, and while conversing, 
 her friend invited her to go with her to her 
 husband's store. Miss Brotherton accepted the 
 invitation, and they walked on together, Miss 
 B. observing by the way, her friend's cordiality 
 and unusual politeness. On arriving at Mr. 
 K's store, they were politely seated by a good- 
 natured clerk; Mr. K. also appeared very cour- 
 teous, which was indeed agreeable, after which 
 he waited upon his wife. Turning to the teach- 
 er, he said: "Would you not like a dress of 
 some of those choice pieces of goods, Miss 
 Brotherton ? " " Not to-day," said she, " I am 
 not prepared to do trading." " Here are very 
 choice poplins," he replied, " would any of those 
 suit your taste?" " Not to-day, sir," said Miss 
 B. But look," he continued, " you shall have 
 a present of one of those handsome poplins, if 
 you like." " O, no," was her answer, and at 
 the same time she blushingly proposed to wait 
 
96 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 until she should draw her school money ; " then 
 I will call and get what I think is necessary," 
 she added. "You had better get a dress to- 
 day," said Mrs. K., coaxingly. " You are fool- 
 ish if you do not, as you now have time to make 
 it during vacation." " That is most truly the 
 case," was the response; "but, dear woman, 
 the weather is too warm to work upon such 
 goods;" at the same time taking her dainty 
 little handkerchief to dry her forehead. " The 
 heat is intense," said Mrs. K. " Suppose we 
 go up into the parlor and rest awhile, it is cool 
 and pleasant up there; besides, we can enjoy a 
 social chat together, and get rested and re- 
 freshed." Martha complied with this kind offer 
 and ascended the stairs with Mrs. K. Upon 
 reaching the landing above, Mrs. K. took a key 
 from her pocket and unlocked the door. The 
 key which she used was a large, old-fashioned 
 one, such as they used in old times to unlock 
 large, heavy doors with; then pushing the door 
 open bade Martha enter. She stepped hur- 
 riedly in and saw at a glance the room was 
 large and beautifully furnished. As her atten- 
 tion was at once drawn to the east end of the 
 room, she thought that was not the room where 
 Mrs. K. intended to stop, but further on, prob- 
 ably ; and on looking around she discovered that 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 97 
 
 Mrs. K. had not yet entered the apartment. In 
 the east end she saw Joseph Smith, Hiram 
 Smith, Mr. Taylor, Brigham Young, and sev- 
 eral others whom she did not know. They 
 were all seated, and seemingly enjoying them- 
 selves amazingly well. She went to the door 
 and found it fastened. Brigham, finding her 
 embarrassed, stepped up to her, bringing with 
 him a chair, and told her to sit down, that Mrs. 
 K. would return soon. She thereupon com- 
 posed herself as best she could, in hopes that 
 Mrs. K. would come and explain all. So, after 
 talking with Mr. Young a few moments, Brig- 
 ham drew his chair close to her and put his 
 arm around her waist, in spite of her efforts to 
 defend herself. She therefore thought to use 
 artifice. Mr. Young began: " Have you heard 
 of the new order of things which has been re- 
 vealed to the prophet?" "I have not heard of 
 any in particular," said Martha, " although I am 
 aware that brother Joseph often receives reve- 
 lations; however, I have not the opportunity 
 which some are favored with, as I am engaged 
 in my school in the country most of my time ; 
 and if there is anything new I would like so 
 much to hear it." " Very true," said Brigham; 
 " and now if I should propose marriage to you 
 would you accept it?" Martha studied for an 
 
9 8 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 answer, and then said: " You have a wife, have 
 you not?" "O, yes; but if the Lord should 
 give a revelation to that effect, would you 
 accept me? " " If I was sure it came from God 
 I should most assuredly accept it." " This order 
 came by a revelation from God," replied Brig- 
 ham, " through his prophet Joseph ; and if you 
 will give your permission we will be united." 
 " Well," said Martha, " this is something new 
 to me, indeed ; I never heard of this order until 
 now, and, if my mother will give her consent, I 
 will agreeably adhere to your strange propo- 
 sal." "How soon can you see your mother?" 
 asked Brigham, seeming to be in haste to bring 
 about the welcome day. " O, I can see her and 
 talk this matter over within an hour," she re- 
 plied. " Indeed, I never take steps without I 
 first consult mother. I will acquaint her of the 
 fact that it is a revelation from God, and I am 
 satisfied she will agree to it." Saying this she 
 started to go. Brigham also arose, and taking 
 a night key from his vest pocket he unlocked 
 the door; Brigham saying, as he took out a 
 splendid gold watch, " You will return within 
 one hour half past ten you will call again 
 at half past eleven, sure?" "Yes," said Mar- 
 tha, smartly, as she pinned -her lace shawl more 
 closely. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 99 
 
 Within ten minutes she reached her mother's 
 house. As she entered, her mother observed 
 something strange in her daughter's appear- 
 ance, and began to interrogate the matter. As 
 Mrs. Brotherton began to question her, Martha 
 raised both hands, exclaiming: "O, mother, 
 mother! let the dinner and everything go to- 
 day, and put on your bonnet and shawl and go 
 with me over the river, and while you are get- 
 ting ready I will tell you in a few words what 
 has happened. Do hurry! Where is brother? 
 Call him to row the boat. Are you ready? do 
 hurry, dear mother." " Martha, my child," said 
 the mother, "what has happened?" "Well, 
 brother Joseph has given a revelation that men 
 can have as many wives as they can support, 
 and Brigham wants to marry me; the time is 
 half gone; put down the window curtains and 
 lock the door. Your basket, yes; now run, 
 and when we are in the middle of the river we 
 are out of all danger. Now, brother, stretch 
 those little arms of yours, and paddle for dear 
 life; perhaps we can get out of their reach be- 
 fore they know of our leaving." " Yes," said 
 her brother, " if we are not observed by Dan- 
 ites in our haste to get away from Nauvoo; these 
 islands are infested with them at this time." 
 "Well, never mind, please do hurry," said the 
 
100 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 sister. " Do not hurry me, I am tired out now, 
 and I am not very stout," he replied. " Well, 
 let me." So saying, Martha took the paddle 
 and almost lifted the boat from the water. 
 Within a few moments they were out of dan- 
 ger; the paddle dropped from her swollen, del- 
 icate hands, and she fainted and fell to the 
 bottom of the boat. Her mother now remem- 
 bered a vial of ammonia in her basket; this, 
 with the help of water which her brother ad- 
 ministered, was sufficient to bring life again to 
 her exhausted and frightened nerves. On look- 
 ing to their whereabouts they found they had 
 floated two or three miles down the river, and 
 the rocky blufts on the landing shore prevented 
 them from stepping on land for a mile or two 
 below; so they could but pass on slowly and 
 calmly, laying plans for the future. They 
 finally came to a little village and there stayed 
 two or three days or a week perhaps, before 
 Martha went to Carthage, the county seat of 
 Hancock county, where she was qualified to 
 this statement, and probably never visited Nau- 
 voo again. 
 
 After reading the above, my husband folded 
 the paper, making a few remarks in doubtful 
 accents on what he had read, and we both 
 agreed that it was too absurd to believe, as we 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. IQI 
 
 never had heard anything of the kind before. 
 It did not look reasonable that people who pro- 
 fessed Christianity would so far listen to the evil 
 one as to carry out such base principles. 
 
 Something of more importance now awak- 
 ened my most sensitive powers more import- 
 ant to me at least ; for, although of the story 
 just related I was doubtful, of one thing I was 
 not in the least doubt. Our little flock num- 
 bered five. My husband was passing away. 
 Each rising sun proclaimed that his stay would 
 not be long with us; the dreadful disease had 
 laid claim to its victim. He lingered some time, 
 and then sank into the tomb, fully prepared for 
 the Master's use. 
 
 Dearest husband, thou hast left us, 
 
 Here thy loss we deeply feel ; 
 But His God who hath bereft us, 
 
 He can all our sorrows heal. 
 
 Peaceful be thy silent slumber ; 
 
 Peaceful be thy grave so low, 
 Thou no more will join our number, 
 
 Thou no more our sorrows know. 
 
 Yet again we hope to meet thee 
 When the dreams of life are fled, 
 
 There, in heaven, we hope to greet thee, 
 Where no farewell tear is shed. 
 
 He sleeps in the cemetery in Pittsfield, Illinois. 
 
I0 2 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 How dark the shadows gathered around me, 
 seeming to dash all courage and hope far be- 
 yond my reach ; and despondency and grief are 
 those besetments which baffle every effort to 
 rise above the present forebodings of that which 
 then appeared unavoidable want. My pre- 
 tended friends soon came in possession of what 
 my husband left for me and his little children ; 
 and now nothing remained except myself and 
 five little fatherless babes, the eldest nine years 
 and the youngest six months old. Those I in- 
 tended to keep with me, at all events; they were 
 all I had left, and I determined to keep my little 
 flock with me ; and 1 often flattered myself that 
 as they grew to be larger, their companionship 
 would be a great blessing and comfort to me. 
 I was advised to move to Nauvoo, where my 
 husband's relatives could assist me. The 
 weather was at this period very warm and 
 sultry; however, I ventured the journey, which 
 was one hundred miles ; and besides, I had with 
 me a sick babe. My child's illness was of a se- 
 rious nature, requiring all my attention. 
 
 This period of my life will last on memory's 
 pages while life remains, and then I shall leave 
 it for those who survive me to read, when my 
 spirit shall have passed away to a happier clime, 
 where sickness, sorrow and death cannot enter. 
 
CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 Just as my infant was so dangerously ill that 
 it could not be left a moment, news came to me 
 by one of my neighbors that all four of my 
 children were floating down the river in a skifF; 
 that they were about in the middle of the 
 stream, where the water ran swift. I immedi- 
 ately took my sick child, throwing the blanket 
 over it, and ran to the river bank. I saw the 
 skiff, but the distance was so far I could not see 
 the little sailors. The skiff looked very small ; 
 I watched the boat for some time, and at last I 
 saw two men pulling toward them with all 
 speed. Lucky for them that no steamboat was 
 passing at that time to upset their little craft in 
 the waves which always follow. 
 
 At this period I had been in Nauvoo about 
 three months, as near as I can remember, and 
 owing to the illness of my child I could not pay 
 much attention to the other little ones, and they 
 were feeling at full liberty to go where and 
 when they pleased. The family who resided in 
 the same house with me were strangers, and I 
 said but little to them. The lady was a native 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 of the East Indies and her husband was an En- 
 glish gentleman and a Mormon elder. They 
 were very pleasant, and I believe tried to live 
 Christians. Taking the liberty to inquire their 
 name they told me it was Brotherton. I made 
 no reply, but like Mary of old, pondered those 
 things in my heart. " Can it be," thought I, 
 " that this man is a relative of Martha Brother- 
 ton?" However, I kept all to myself. Some 
 weeks after we were all seated in the front 
 room; the evening was made beautiful by the 
 brightness of the moon, which had risen to its 
 summit, and cast its silvery light upon the still 
 waters of the great Mississippi. This room 
 where we sat was radiant with the reflection of 
 the moon upon the water; and not a word was 
 spoken to disturb our thoughts for some time. 
 At last I broke the silence, and said: "Mr. 
 Brotherton, are you willing that I should ask 
 you a question? " He replied that I could ask 
 any question I saw proper, and if it was any- 
 thing he could answer he would most willingly 
 do so. " Yes," said Mrs. B., " if there is *any- 
 thine you wish which we can do, we are per- 
 fectly willing. It appears you are not without 
 trouble as well as ourselves and many others ; 
 you need not doubt our sincerity," she contin- 
 ued, " but say what you like and it shall go no 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 105 
 
 farther." " The question is this," I replied, " are 
 you a relative of Miss Martha Brotherton, who 
 published a piece in a Carthage paper against 
 Brigham Young?" "Yes, I am her brother," 
 was the response. " Well, do you know her to 
 be a truthful girl?" I said; "please pardon my 
 inquisitiveness." " Most assuredly, yes," said 
 her brother. " She published nothing but the 
 truth." " One more question and I am done," 
 I said. " Do you know that polygamy is prac- 
 ticed in the church?" "I do," he answered 
 firmly; "but we must not mention this to any 
 one." " I shall not stay here," I replied. " As 
 soon as my child is well enough I shall leave 
 this horrible wicked place." 
 
 This explains all; no good Christian mothers; 
 no one to say one word of sympathy or conso- 
 lation; no mutual sensibility; no Good Samari- 
 tan to administer relief to the needs of the sick 
 and suffering; this was all plain to me now; 
 there was no light in their sin-darkened hearts ; 
 no love of God, and it was no wonder they 
 knew nothing of me or my distress. These 
 were the thoughts which were passing in my 
 mind, when Mrs. B. remarked in a low voice, 
 " We are intending to go away as soon as pos- 
 sible; but we keep all this to ourselves, and we 
 advise you to do the same ; if we wish safety 
 
I0 6 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 we must be wise." " Exactly so," I said, in a 
 low voice, " I know something of this by expe- 
 rience." "All right," said Mrs. B. After the 
 above conversation we retired. I could not be- 
 lieve that all the good had turned to bitterness, 
 and there remained not one who was laboring 
 for God and heaven. O for a display of God's 
 providence; for something more genuine, more 
 congenial and high, noble; more pure, more 
 peaceful, more strengthening, more glorious! 
 I thought upon these things with a sorrowing 
 heart; and, as I studied upon them, those words 
 came to me as if spoken by some good spirit: 
 " He that putteth his trust in Me shall never be 
 ashamed." This was a pleasing thought, that 
 there was one in whom we could trust and 
 never be ashamed; and the conclusion of the 
 whole matter is, to " fear God and keep His 
 commandments, for this is the whole duty of 
 man; for God will bring every work into judg- 
 ment, with every secret thing, whether it be 
 good or whether it be evil." 
 
 I could make no confidant of any one ; and in 
 consideration of my own safety I kept my mind 
 to myself. My own helplessness, as well as 
 that of many others, was a defense to those 
 whose barbarous principles were to take the 
 advantage of our weakness in making known 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 107 
 
 their unlawful deeds. This we dare not under- 
 take, as our lives were dear to us. The Dan- 
 ites were close upon the track of those who 
 otherwise would have strangled polygamy in 
 its infancy. 
 
 Having now found relief for my invalid child, 
 whose illness had been such a burden for both 
 child and mother, for the period of a year, and 
 as I began gradually to find my attention a 
 little more relieved as he grew stronger, I now 
 felt the unmistakable need of putting my very 
 best energies into practice ; therefore, after in- 
 vestigating the probability of my being compe- 
 tent to teach a small school, I drew up a paper 
 and proceeded to get signers for an elementary 
 school. I found no difficulty in getting twenty 
 scholars within the space of two hours time. I 
 agreed to teach sixty days, at two dollars a 
 scholar. Previous to this I had sold my team 
 for a house and lot in town, in the expectation 
 of selling the property when I removed east, as 
 I had for some time contemplated; but having 
 no deed as yet, I found myself unable to make 
 any change in this direction, and this is why I 
 remained in Nauvoo up to this period. It was 
 now getting into autumn. I had left my last 
 cow in Pittsfield, and I now had an opportu- 
 nity offered of having her driven up to Nauvoo 
 
I0 8 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 for me; but the man returned without the cow, 
 and told me that those having charge of her 
 refused to let her go, and so kept her for their 
 trouble. My belief is, that the man who offer- 
 ed to drive her for me, or the man who had 
 had charge of her, sold the cow and put the 
 money in his own pocket. I know not who it 
 was, but there is an ever watchful eye who 
 knows and sees the one who robbed the widow 
 and fatherless children. I mention such events 
 only to show the evil which lurks in the dark 
 recesses of the human heart, and whosoever is 
 guilty of such things will find when too late 
 that the interest of such petty thieving will be 
 gathered in and compounded. 
 
 My school was progressing, and as it was 
 kept in my own house, it was considered a 
 blessing both by myself and little ones, that we 
 were not compelled to trudge oft' through snow 
 or rain to a cold school house. Some of my 
 patrons paid in advance. My firewood was 
 provided ready for use at my door, and all 
 seemed highly pleased with the way the school 
 was conducted. While teaching this school, a 
 note was sent to me desiring my attendance at 
 a wedding at Deacon Lovey's. I at once began 
 to question who it could be. There was no one 
 in Deacon Lovey's family who was old enough 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 109 
 
 to marry, thought L Probably it is some one 
 who dares not belong to the family. However, 
 I attended at the hour appointed, and when the 
 parties advanced it was Deacon Lovey himself, 
 leading an old maid by the name of Elmyra 
 Mack. I was more astonished now than I ever 
 was. There sat his other wife, looking per- 
 fectly happy. The ceremony was said, after 
 which a lively time ensued, and all seemed joy- 
 ous and full af merriment. But for my own 
 part I was dumb; and when the question was 
 asked me how I enjoyed the evening, I made 
 reply that I had talked so much in school I felt 
 very tired ; 1 therefore prayed to be excused, 
 and left the merry party to their own hilarity. 
 I thought this matter over, and resolved on 
 leaving Nauvoo as speedily as possible, making 
 my arrangements to that effect. 1, as yet, had 
 not obtained my deed; also two of my little 
 girls had for some time past been living with 
 their father's relatives in the country. Those 
 two facts were obstacles which remained to 
 be settled by a plural number, and I felt at a 
 loss to know how it would turn out. I had not 
 as yet made known my intentions, and patiently 
 awaited the close of my school and the return 
 of spring. I closed school the first of April. 
 Then my garden was plowed and a portion of 
 
HO LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 it planted. The spring was pleasant and warm ; 
 the sun shone out brightly, and the birds with 
 their sweet notes welcomed the queen of the 
 season. 
 
 I now visited the man with whom my busi- 
 ness was intrusted, and told him I had come to 
 see about my deed, or something to show that 
 I had paid for the house and lot. He declined 
 giving any security, but said he would make 
 that all right. Mrs. Smith invited me to stay 
 to dinner, but I refused, saying I had obligated 
 myself to return in two hours. While I stop- 
 ped a few moments in conversation with Mrs. 
 Smith, her husband rode up in a splendid car- 
 riage and asked if I would not ride, as he was 
 going on business the way I was to return. I 
 accepted the offer, and on our way he asked if 
 I had tried to inform myself of the great work 
 which was enjoined upon us as God's children? 
 I told him I knew of nothing but to serve God 
 with an honest and uprigKt heart. "This is 
 not all," he said; " God's work is progressive, 
 ever onward; as his children grow more nume- 
 rous their wants increase, doing for us all we 
 wish or desire ; if we trust in Him, He has prom- 
 ised us all things, if we live faithful to him. 
 And now, since these promises are left us for our 
 benefit, why not accept?" "Accept what?" 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 Ill 
 
 I asked. " Accept and obey God's command," 
 he replied, " which He has given through His 
 servant Joseph ; that is, a man can have all the 
 wives he can get if he marries them for time and 
 eternity ; that is, if he takes care of them in time 
 they will also be his in eternity; for the glory 
 of man is the woman ; the more women he has 
 the more glory will crown him in heaven. And 
 now, if when you consider this properly, and 
 think it better to have one who will provide for 
 and protect you, let me know your mind, and 
 all will be well." Here we parted, and I was 
 left to think over the conversation which had 
 passed. He little thought of what passed my 
 mind while he conversed with me on the way. 
 Ah, little did he imagine that which almost 
 came from my lips, and would have formed into 
 words had it not been at the peril of my life. 
 " A wise head keeps a close mouth." " Death 
 and life are in the power of the tongue, and 
 they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."- 
 Prov., 18: 21. 
 
 The next morning was a beautiful one, one 
 upon whose brightness the happy spirits love to 
 come down to earth and sweeten every cup of 
 sorrow by imparting to their sweetness and pu- 
 rity, in the melody of birds or the bursting forth 
 of some unexpected flower. What more could 
 
!I2 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 mortals ask, while thus welcomed to earth and 
 heaven by a new born day like this? Peace of 
 mind, in the great giver of all good; my con- 
 science also bearing me witness that I am His 
 and He is mine. 
 
 I rented my place to Deacon Lovey and re- 
 ceived part of the rent for four years' posses- 
 sion, not revealing my intentions to my nearest 
 neighbors, and dreaded the approach of my 
 aforesaid assailant. This man of whom I have 
 spoken once belonged to the Presbyterian 
 church, and was an influential member. He 
 possessed sobriety, and to all outward appear- 
 ance was an honest man. He was very neat in 
 his attire, and his general deportment was ex- 
 cellent well fitted to gain the good will and 
 high esteem of all with whom he -associated. I 
 mention these facts, as there are those who are 
 misinformed as regards the Mormons, in many 
 respects; but believing, also knowing, that their 
 sins in their pretended religious views, are ex- 
 horbitant. I find it not in my heart to make 
 any allowance for their unchristian-like, and 
 also their unloyal deed. At the time of which 
 I am writing, I felt in my heart that which my 
 tongue dare not utter. 
 
 I left Nauvoo for a period of four years, then 
 to return for my two little girls, in hopes that 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 113 
 
 kind providence would mete out changes for 
 our most earnest wishes, in this our helpless 
 condition. My feelings, I must acknowledge, 
 was not parallel with the circumstances by 
 which I was governed in respect to leaving my 
 two little girls in Nauvoo among the Mormons. 
 However, our relatives in that place were not 
 polygamists; yet they were firm believers in 
 the first principles of the Mormon belief. I 
 kept my plans to myself as much as possible, 
 and started on my journey before any one knew 
 of my intentions; or at least but few were in- 
 formed of the fact. Had I made known my 
 plans publicly, I probably never should have 
 made my escape from that place. I arrived at 
 my friends in Ohio with three little children. 
 After spending the usual time in visiting my 
 friends, I rented a house and again established 
 a home, with my little family. I was rejoiced 
 to find myself among people who feared God 
 and regarded the law of our country, and could 
 rest in safety and security from those with 
 whom there was no safety. 
 
 8 
 
CHAPTER XX. 
 
 My aim in writing this history is to give an 
 account of the commencement of the Mormon 
 church. It is not taken from hearsay, or any 
 history, but is a true statement of the facts con- 
 cerning the origin of the Mormon belief. I 
 therefore ask pardon for writing so much of my 
 own experience, but this train of consequences 
 forbids its exclusion. 
 
 Finding my efforts a little dashed when I 
 tried the millinery business, I soon found it use- 
 less to try to make a fortune, and came to the 
 decision to only make a good living, and be 
 content with food and raiment. Those little 
 ones who remained far away, among a people 
 in whom there remained no veracity, I often 
 talked of. They were in my mind constantly, 
 ever remaining as a shadow over a running 
 brook, while the dashing waters of the cares 
 of this life hurried onward. Those shadows 
 seemed to vibrate continually in my memory. 
 .Yet there is a time for all things, and I awaited 
 the time to advance and bring about the wel- 
 come day when those little ones should be gath- 
 ered to my own care and protection. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 One year and six months had now passed 
 since my arrival in Ohio. I had repeatedly re^ 
 ceived letters from Nauvoo, one of which 
 brought tidings of the sad death of Newell 
 Knight, who was sent as one of the commission- 
 ers to Salt Lake in pursuit of a land of safety 
 for the Latter Day Saints. This was at an 
 early period, and no travel had broken the way 
 except that of gold miners to California. Those 
 commissioners traveled as far as the Rocky 
 Mountains, and here they were compelled to 
 yield to their merciless doom starvation. I 
 received intelligence also of many arrests in 
 Nauvoo, and also imprisonments, and many 
 courts were called. In this case the Mormons 
 always affirmed innocence in behalf of a Mor- 
 mon. This state of things was carried on ever 
 after the Danites were organized. I will now 
 give the detail of a letter which I received from 
 my sister-in-law, from Nauvoo, reading as 
 follows: 
 
 " NAUVOO, 111., May 14, 1838. 
 
 " DEAR SISTER: I will spare no time in ad- 
 dressing you, as I have dreadful news to write. 
 The church was awe-stricken yesterday by the 
 sad news that brother Joseph Smith and Hiram 
 were both shot in Carthage jail; Hiram was 
 shot on the floor, and brother Joseph was shot 
 
Il6 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 while trying to make his escape through the 
 window. Sixteen bullets passed through his 
 body, and he fell from the window on the out- 
 side of the jail, which was twenty feet. They 
 had their trial in court and were put back to 
 await another trial, and a mob gathered around 
 the jail, forty in number, and forced an en- 
 trance, killing three and wounding several oth- 
 ers; all of which was perpetrated within ten 
 minutes time. Some one of the mob saw 
 Smith's body on the outside and stabbed him 
 through and through with his sword, saying as 
 he did so, ' You are the man that killed my 
 father.' Our doors are draped with crape, and 
 the church is dressed in deep mourning. 
 
 ANN CLEAVELAND." 
 
 This was astonishing news to me, and I have 
 tried in many ways to find out where they were 
 buried; but this is not known to any except 
 those who laid them away. I have been told 
 the church thought they would be raised from 
 the dead, and kept them several days in expec- 
 tation of seeing that miracle performed ; but 
 they began to putrify to such a degree they 
 were obliged to put them away. How true 
 this is I am not prepared to assert; and yet my 
 authority is such that I can feel safe to vindi- 
 cate the assertion as truth, knowing as I do that 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 such absurdities have prevailed from the com- 
 mencement of the church. I therefore do not 
 feel at liberty to discard this saying as untrue. 
 The Danites are kept in constant knowledge of 
 all secrets of the Mormon society, and while I 
 remained with the church after those secret 
 clubs were formed, I felt in almost constant 
 alarm. I now and then noticed groups of Dan- 
 ites away oft' in some retired place, busily talk- 
 ing, and they looked like anything but good 
 men. Their appearance more resembled fiends, 
 as near as I could judge; and many is the time 
 I have wondered to myself how I should make 
 my escape from among them. 
 
 I was about changing my situation to fill a 
 vacancy as nurse ; I therefore found places for 
 my children, and expected within two or three 
 weeks to be released, and again return to my 
 former home with my family. The gentleman 
 who employed me was Mr. Joshua Foabs, of 
 Wayne, Ashtabula county, Ohio. One morn- 
 ing in March I started to go and see my little 
 boy, who was staying with a lady some four 
 miles distant. Mr. Foabs offered me a horse to 
 ride, and also told me of a nearer way than the 
 general public road. I therefore confidently 
 rode on until I came to a saw mill. The water 
 was dashing over the embankment so furiously 
 
nS LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 I was fearful that the animal would get fright- 
 ened at its roaring, so I led the horse across 
 on the ice. My feet had no more than reached 
 the land when the ice suddenly gave way and 
 went dashing over the embankment. I suc- 
 ceeded in saving the horse, as he happened to 
 be very nimble, and keeping the reins fast in 
 my hands I led the animal to a saw log and 
 sat down until I was a little more composed. 
 The horse, too, trembled piteously. 
 
 When I returned, Mr. Foabs told me he had 
 just noticed a paragraph in his paper announc- 
 ing the expected and immediate exodus of the 
 Mormon church to Utah territory; also asking 
 me if I had any children in Nauvoo. I told 
 him I had two little girls remaining there. " Do 
 you wish to get them?" he asked. " Most as- 
 suredly, I must have them," I answered; "of 
 course I must have my children," I said. 
 " Well, if that is the case I will see what can 
 be done for you," he replied. The next day he 
 tried at two or three places for money to help 
 get my children, but to no purpose. He stated 
 the fact to me, but said I need not fear, he 
 would let me have the money, but thought 
 probably some others would be glad to help. 
 " But you shall go," he continued ; " I will do 
 all myself." Tears filled my eyes, and I turned 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 to Mrs. Foabs to hide my emotions from her 
 husband. Mrs. Foabs was on the sofa, and 
 when I looked at her she smiled pleasantly and 
 approvingly at what her husband had just told 
 me. I never can forget that angel countenance. 
 Mrs. Foabs had lost her voice, yet she could 
 hear, but could not speak above a whisper. 
 
 I started with a family who were moving to 
 Burlington, Iowa, by the name of Allen, a near 
 neighbor of Mr. Foabs, who were company 
 for me all the way to Nauvoo. I landed there 
 the second day of May, at 2 o'clock A. M. It 
 was raining, and dark as Egypt. The mud 
 was black and sticky, and it was one mile to the 
 nearest house. I noticed on leaving the boat a 
 young lady who had landed, for the light shone 
 brightly on the wharf. I asked her if she was 
 acquainted in Nauvoo. The answer was, " No." 
 She then said she had come to see her brother 
 before he went to Salt Lake. The boat was 
 now leaving the wharf, and we had found the 
 road which led to the temple, and then we were 
 in total darkness, rain and mud. However, we 
 managed to keep the road, as the weeds soon re- 
 minded us when we were out of the way; so 
 long as we were in the mud we considered our- 
 selves all right. If I had not had my trunk to 
 carry we could have helped ourselves much 
 
120 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 better. We were obliged to sit down every 
 now and then, and it served for a seat to rest 
 ourselves. " Have you ever heard of the Dan- 
 ites?" I asked my companion. "No, what are 
 they?" she asked. " Well, they are a set of 
 men who are appointed by the leaders of the 
 Mormon church to arrest any who are leaving 
 the church and bring them back here." I 
 paused, for I heard two persons hurriedly pass- 
 ing us. " What is that?" she whispered, trem- 
 blingly. "I do not know," was the answer. 
 " Do you think they were Danites? " "No," I 
 said, perceiving she was intimidated. "O, no; 
 they are some persons who came from the 
 wharf, probably;" yet I had my own opinion 
 about it, but kept this to myself. We hurried 
 as fast as the darkness would permit. The rain 
 had made our clothes very wet and heavy; the 
 mud also had collected on our boots until it 
 seemed thai it was impossible to make much 
 headway; besides, I had my trunk to carry. 
 We cleaned off our boots on the weeds and sat 
 down to rest. I could just perceive the shape 
 of the rise of ground where the temple stood; 
 and, further observation presented a light, al- 
 though very dim. I told my companion I saw 
 a light, but she could not see it. We again took 
 the trunk and traveled on for some time. " Yes, 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 121 
 
 I see the light now," said the patient 
 thought her patience endured bravely; but she 
 said she had much rather help me than to try 
 to find the way alone. But now we had got 
 almost to the house where the light was. 
 " What if they are Danites?" said the girl. " O, 
 well, if they are they will know we have just 
 come to Nauvoo, and they in all probability 
 won't ask any questions; but here is the house." 
 I rapped at the door, and after a considerable 
 bustle in the house, a woman unlocked it and 
 let us in. "Can we find a shelter here until 
 daylight?" I inquired. The woman hesitated 
 and then said : " If you can put up with poor 
 fare." " All we ask is a place to stop until it is 
 light enough to find our friends," we said, " so 
 make yourself no trouble." She parted her 
 bed and made us a bed on the floor; and now 
 we had a place to rest our weary limbs for at 
 least two hours. We told her we came from 
 the boat and the night was dark and rainy; that 
 we were very thankful to get a place to stay as 
 comfortable as that was. She then told us they 
 were getting ready to move, and everything 
 was so unsettled and comfortless, she said she 
 would be rejoiced when they were on the road. 
 " Ah, you are going east? " I said. " No, we 
 are going to Salt Lake. See," she said, point- 
 
122 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 ing to a wagon wheel in the corner of the room, 
 " we have to take one wheel off of our wagon 
 and x bring it into the house to keep the mob 
 from running the wagon off in the night." 
 
 The chickens now proclaiming the approach 
 of day, made my heart leap for joy. The 
 thought that I should soon see my little girls 
 caused feelings which none but a mother's heart 
 can know. Daylight had once more dawned 
 upon us; and we were on our way to the tem- 
 ple. Here we separated, and each one went in 
 search of her friends. After procuring a con- 
 veyance, I soon arrived at the place desired. 
 My arrival was very unexpected, and one of 
 my little girls did not know me, as she was only 
 four years old when I left Nauvoo, and the 
 other eight years old. My sorrowful heart 
 could not find utterance, when I saw my neg- 
 lected, fatherless children neglected because 
 their aunt and grandmother were too busily en- 
 gaged to attend to anything except to make 
 tents and other necessaries for their journey to 
 Salt Lake, and then they intended to get the 
 children ready also. I could not talk. I there- 
 fore spent a few days looking to see the changes 
 that had taken place since I left; my two little 
 girls holding my hands and joyfully hopping 
 along by my side. " Mother," said Elizabeth, 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 123 
 
 "are you going back to Ohio? I want to go 
 with you if you are; Ed. and Angeline don't 
 treat me very well, and Ansro makes me black 
 his boots, and if I don't he whips me. Do you 
 think that's right, mamma?" " No, my child, 
 he is old enough to be a gentleman now, but 
 his ideas of gentility are not as they should be. 
 But never mind, this will all be right," I replied. 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 I often looked upon those children with fond 
 hopes of taking them with me; but when the 
 time came that I should be interrogated on this 
 point, then probably it would be soon enough 
 to make known my purpose. I did not feel 
 flattered when I so often heard them called 
 handsome, for I could see how they looked as 
 well as others; I could see that nature had 
 formed them with many charms, so far as fea- 
 tures, form and complexion were concerned; 
 and I felt a determination that those two little 
 girls should not be raised in the Mormon belief 
 if it should be necessary to put the. law in force. 
 
124 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 I could readily get help in this direction, as the 
 Mormons had but few friends in the county. 
 
 Sarah lived with her aunt and grandmother, 
 while the other lived with her uncle and aunt. 
 Elizabeth was the oldest, being at the age of 
 ten, and Sarah six years old; and I found in 
 those little girls delectableness in their confi- 
 dence, as I could unfold my mind to them with- 
 out the least fear of exposure. I therefore 
 made plain to them that I had come on purpose 
 after them, and should not return without them. 
 I furthermore told them not to show by their 
 actions that they thought of going with me. 
 While conversing with my sister-in-law one 
 day, she asked if I intended taking the girls 
 with me. I told her I should try and get a deed 
 of my house and lot in the first place, and then 
 we would talk about that. "You can't have 
 Elizabeth ; if you think of that, you will be dis- 
 appointed; I expect to keep her until some one 
 takes her from me, when she is old enough to 
 marry," she said. "Very well," I answered, 
 "then you will take her to Salt Lake?" "Of 
 course I will," was the reply ; " she is better oft 
 with us than she could be with you; and Ann 
 says she shall keep Sarah." Here the talk 
 ended, for a time. The next day I went to see' 
 Mrs. Smith about my deed, and Elizabeth ac- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 125 
 
 companied me, for I did not feel safe to leave 
 them both there, fearing they would send them 
 ofF, or conceal them from me. I now had an 
 opportunity of telling Elizabeth what I should 
 do if they tried to keep them from me. If 
 nothing else would do, I should get help in 
 Carthage; but I thought it not best to use harsh- 
 ness as long as anything else would answer the 
 purpose. I was now at Mrs. Smith's. She in- 
 formed me that her business was in court; but 
 if I could wait until June court, she would give 
 me a deed, as sho would then have permission 
 from court to give deeds. The matter seemed 
 at a long pause to wait until the June t court; 
 however, having some things needful to attend 
 to before I could return, I went about it as 
 speedily as circumstances would allow. I had 
 sewing for my children to do, and had to attend 
 to the sale of my furniture, which I had left in 
 Nauvoo when going to Ohio. This was diffi- 
 cult, as so many had left, and others were about 
 to leave. I therefore employed a good honest 
 man (although a Mormon), to see to the imme- 
 diate disposition of my furniture, the avails of a 
 small portion of which would be required to 
 clothe my children. The furniture was taken 
 over the river to Mt. Rose, and left for sale. 
 My daughter Elizabeth lived with her aunt 
 
126 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 Roxania, who was the daughter of Elder Rog- 
 ers, a Methodist minister then residing in the 
 town of Bainbridge, Chenango county, N. Y. 
 It is needful to mention these facts, in order to 
 more fully explain my story ; also for other pur- 
 poses which it is not needful to mention. One 
 day, as I was in conversation with Benjamin 
 and Roxania, I asked them why they did not 
 go to see their father in Bainbridge before going 
 to Salt Lake. Said I, ic the road will be left 
 open for you to go when you please to Salt 
 Lake; another thing, your health is not suffi- 
 cient to endure the hardships of so new a coun- 
 try again as that is at the present time; but 
 when the roads are better traveled, and when 
 they begin to have things in a more comforta- 
 ble manner, you can then have that enjoyment 
 which, if you should go now, you would be 
 totally deprived of. Now, what do you think 
 about my suggestion?" Benjamin turned 
 around with his back toward me (which always 
 meant approval), and after a few moments he 
 said: "Probably it would be better for us." 
 " We would not need Elizabeth," said his wife, 
 " if we go east ; probably you will take her with 
 you? " as she turned to me for the answer. " O, 
 of course I shall take her if you do not need 
 her; that is all right." The night previous to 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 127 
 
 this conversation some one knew of a poor 
 widow who spent the long, weary night in 
 prayer to Him who said He would be the wid- 
 ow's God and guide, and a father to the father- 
 less. He also said, " If any lack wisdom, let 
 him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberty 
 and upbraideth not." That same widow had 
 made this a subject of prayer for a number of 
 weeks, and this is the work of God, and not 
 hers. " The eyes of the Lord are upon the 
 righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry. 
 The righteous cry and the Lord heareth and 
 delivereth them out of their troubles. Many 
 are the afflictions of the righteous ; but the Lord 
 delivereth him out of them all." Psalms, 24: 
 15,17, 19. Only a day or two before this, Roxania 
 told me in plain English that I should not have 
 Elizabeth. This was also written on her coun- 
 tenance. Howbeit, it was written on my heart 
 with something indelible, which never could be 
 erased, " I will have my little girls." I after- 
 wards talked with Ann Cleaveland in regard to 
 taking Sarah Frances with me, and she said it 
 remained for her mother to say concerning that. 
 It was decided that it would be better not to 
 separate the little girls. Thus was it all settled, 
 joyfully settled in my behalf. Yet if I had been 
 two weeks later they would have been gone far 
 
128 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 beyond my reach. But now a dark cloud gath- 
 ered, and what this strange foreboding could 
 mean I was at a great loss to understand. Had 
 my friends prevaricated in this way to throw 
 me off my guard, and thus evade, and slip my 
 children away privately? This I could not be- 
 lieve of my good old mother-in-law; she would 
 not stoop so low as that, neither would any of 
 her family. Yet they were very zealous in the 
 Mormon belief, but not in polygamy. I in- 
 quired why they did not believe in this also; 
 their answer was that the church had become 
 corrupt, and for an illustration, compared it to a 
 fruit tree the roots were good and healthy, 
 but the enemy had crept in and was destroying 
 and making nests and webs in some of the 
 branches. This was done through neglect. 
 They have not acted wisely, and for this reason 
 the enemy has obtained a strong hold in many 
 instances ; and until these offences are eradicated 
 from the church, they never will prosper. " I 
 am heartily glad to hear that you are not be- 
 lievers in polygamy," said I; "would to God 
 that you were not Mormons." Here the con- 
 versation ended. 
 
 The next day my husband's youngest brother 
 came in. " I think your faith in Mormonism is 
 very small, or you would not go back among 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 129 
 
 the Gentiles," he said. " You know, George," 
 I replied, " 1 have three children there." " Very 
 well," said he, " but your children won't save 
 your soul." " Neither will Mormonism save 
 me," I replied. " O, yes; you are an apostate; 
 I thought so, and now have your own words for 
 it." " Well," I responded, " I shall be miserable 
 without my children." " Then," he said, " you 
 prefer your children to the only true and relia- 
 ble light ? " " Not so, George," was my answer ; 
 " however, I think a mother is not necessarily 
 compelled to be separated from her children in 
 order to enjoy the true light. Why, George, 
 how unreasonable you talk. Do you know what 
 the unerring way is? I think it is to love God 
 with all the heart, might, mind and strength, 
 and love our neighbor as ourselves; and in or- 
 der to do this we must be cleansed from all sin, 
 through the blood of Christ." " Ah, but," said 
 George, " we must live up to the requirements, 
 too." " Yes ; what have I refused to do which 
 he required? " I asked. " You refuse to go to 
 Salt Lake, which is a command of God," said 
 he. " Yes, but the church was also command- 
 ed to go to Missouri, and that was the land of 
 promise ; but now He has altered His mind and 
 says Salt Lake is the land of promise," I said. 
 I had gone as far as was prudent, and some- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 thing called me away in the midst of this con- 
 versation. 
 
 About the first of July, as near as I remem- 
 ber, my sister-in-law started for the plains with 
 her mother, an old lady over seventy years old, 
 and three little boys. Mr. Cleaveland, her hus- 
 band, was one who was wounded in a battle in 
 the Mormon war, in Missouri, from which he 
 never recovered, his right arm and right lung 
 almost disabling him for any kind of labor. In 
 this helpless condition,, with the weather ex- 
 tremely warm, they bid farewell to their last 
 home in the States, and their friends, to sojourn 
 in a strange land. My feelings, on seeing them 
 depart, were indescribable. My little girls spent 
 the day in weeping, neither tasting food until 
 the next day noon. Brother Benjamin and 
 family also left their home to sojourn among 
 friends in the East. Now we were lonely and 
 disconsolate; none remained on the farm except 
 George and his wife and one child, myself and 
 two children. Some time in June I received 
 my deed, and now, having only a garment or 
 two to finish up, and then nothing remained 
 except going to town after my money, and I 
 should also start for Ohio. 
 
 We had heard of considerable sickness in 
 the country adjoining, but had not a distant 
 
AMONG THE XuXMOXS. 
 
 thought that it would n 
 
 George and his wife and child were all taken 
 down with this fearful malady. The weather 
 continued oppressively warm and dry; I think 
 I never witnessed so warm a summer since my 
 remembrance. The fever was now gaining 
 ground, and nothing was heard of but distress 
 in the whole country around. Myself and chil- 
 dren were also taken ill with this fever, which 
 was considered beyond the skill of any physi- 
 cian to arrest. We were now helpless ; no one to 
 assist us until my sister-in-^w's mother, Mrs. 
 Commins, \ ible to state 
 
 ho\\ before I found 
 
 relief, as 1 v 't of the tinu; how- 
 
 ever, it could not have been more than two or 
 three days. My children's illness turned to the 
 ague, so that part of the time they could help 
 Mrs. Commins. I had taken medicine which 
 had helped me, and feeling anxious to recover, 
 I put forth my best energies to start on my 
 journey. My greatest dread was of being 
 buried in Nauvoo; I had much rather my rest- 
 ing place should be in the bottom of the Missis- 
 sippi river. I engaged a lady to take me to 
 Nauvoo in her covered carriage, where I could 
 get my furniture money. The covered car- 
 riage I thought would protect me from the hot 
 
132 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 sun. I then charged her to drive slow, as I was 
 too weak to endure the trip, with all the care 
 that could possibly be taken. On arriving there 
 the man had gone over to Mt. Rose and would 
 not return until about sundown. His wife ad- 
 vised me to stay over night, which invitation I 
 accepted, and as I had already gone beyond my 
 strength, I retired to bed, up stairs. There 
 were no blinds to the windows, and the hot sun 
 had sent in its heat during the day, and I fan- 
 cied a hot bed in a hot house would be far more 
 enjoyable for a sleeping room than this empty, 
 comfortless apartment. This was Saturday, 
 late in the afternoon, probably four or five 
 o'clock. From this hour until ten the next day 
 I saw no human face. Seventeen hours with- 
 out even a drink of water. Just after I retired 
 I awoke, and could wring the sweat from my 
 my hair and clothes. I expected the lady would 
 come up to see me before bed time, but she did 
 not. It was now very dark, and the sound of 
 distant thunder proclaimed a shower not very 
 far off. When it came it was most terriffic. 
 One peal of thunder after another, in quick suc- 
 cession. It seemed that the horizon was in a 
 complete blaze of liquid fire. The wind and 
 torrents of rain which would terrify a strong 
 person, now filled me with horror; and a sick- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 133 
 
 ness which I had not hitherto experienced came 
 over me. I never shall forget that night. The 
 house was so constructed there was no passing 
 from the rooms below up into my room, except 
 from the outside of the building, and the sever- 
 ity of the storm prevented an exit either way. 
 I would gladly have changed places with Laz- 
 arus, but could more properly claim the place 
 of the rich man. Howbeit, I survived that 
 dreadful night, and thankful was I to see the 
 dawn of another day; and, in the gray twilight 
 I arose from that horrible couch, and as I passed 
 into the front room I saw a tall figure approach- 
 ing me, with its ashy and ghostly visage, with 
 long hair in dark masses, hanging in wild con- 
 fusion over the shoulders. I shrank and stag- 
 gered back; and in order to show me how I 
 appeared, this ghost shrank and staggered, pre- 
 cisely as one can mock another. On taking the 
 second thought I discovered how feeble my im- 
 aginations, how perfectly prostrated my physi- 
 cal strength had become; my appearance, too, 
 was as one just from the tomb. At ten o'clock 
 the lady of the house made her appearance. 
 She came, she said, to know if I wished any 
 breakfast. I told her I would like a cup of tea. 
 She soon returned with the tea and a bit of 
 hard rye bread and a little beef soup. The 
 
134 LIFE A XXG THE MORMONS. 
 
 soup tasted Lkc. brine, and the tea tasted like 
 warm wa'.cr turned out of an old ru3ty tea pot. 
 The breakfast did not relish, and I knew it was 
 my taste. This lady \vas very pleasing in all 
 her movements, courteous and obliging, and 
 with all very handsome. She assisted me in 
 putting on my clothes and helped me down the 
 long stairs into her apartment. Her husband 
 gave me the money for which the furniture was 
 sold, and after paying him for his trouble I be- 
 gan to think about going back to* my brother- 
 in-laws. Thankful was I to feel so well after 
 such a night of distress. I now thought I 
 should be able to start on my journey in a few 
 days. Those people were Mormons, and were 
 intending to start for Salt Lake as soon as the 
 warm weather subsided. They were remark- 
 ably good to me in offering to take me home on 
 a bed in the wagon, and a little girl to hold an 
 an umbrella over me; but now it was nearly 
 noon, and I felt the fever was coming on. They 
 advised me to get to my friends as soon as pos- 
 sible, which just suited me; and as soon as it 
 was possible we were on the way. The rea- 
 son I did not press the matter was because I 
 heard them say the team had had a hard trip 
 the day previous, so I awaited this kind offer. 
 But now I was not able to make any calcula- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 135 
 
 tions about anything; the fever was at the high- 
 est, and my mind was not capable of care. 
 
 The man drove up to the door and called 
 George to come and take me into the house, 
 but George \vas on the bed very sick ; however, 
 >. Cummins and Elizabeth came and helped 
 me into the house and to a bed. Three days 
 later I found myself better, with a will which 
 nothing but death could baffle, and making the 
 best of everything which obstructed my pro- 
 gress. I immediately bent my steps to my de- 
 termination, and agreeable to this I took my 
 cane not such as gentlemen use, but one made 
 of a corn stalk not wholly to support my dig- 
 nity, either, but to bear up my remarkably \veak 
 and feeble frame until it should please my 
 venly Father to place us, forsooth, safely 
 on a boat eastward bound. I engaged a team 
 to take me to my own house in town, then I 
 would be nearer the steamboat landing; for my 
 desi: e was to start on my journey the very next 
 day. \Ve arrived at the long deserted house, 
 but what could we do here? We had taken 
 .iculur pains to put up a salt sack of flour 
 and a little cup of salt, in case of emergency; 
 but we had nothing to cook and nothing to 
 cook in. Fortunately I had a bed and trunk, 
 but we had no place to rest ourselves ex- 
 
136 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 cept on the trunk and bed, which was not 
 boxed up, only tied up in a sheet. This an- 
 swered very well such a time as this, when the 
 whole town was in confusion and so many sick. 
 It would be beyond the art of an able writer to 
 describe the distressing scenes which were daily 
 taking place in Nauvoo at this period. 
 
 Night was coming on, and now what should 
 we do for supper? My children had both had 
 the ague that day, and were very sick for a 
 time; but now they were up again. Finally, 
 we talked about what we should do for supper 
 again, and concluded to go without ; but we had 
 no dinner and not much breakfast. " Ma, I 
 know where we can get a pan to bake bread 
 in," said Elizabeth. "Is it an iron pan?" I 
 asked. " Yes, but its dreadful rusty," she said, 
 " I'll go and get it." The pan was pulled up 
 out of the grass, and after a good time digging 
 and scraping at the old pan, my girls made a 
 fire out in the door-yard, after building a little 
 stone arch to sit the pan on, according as I told 
 them. This was splendid. In the mean time I 
 had stirred up pancakes with salt and water, 
 and heating the pan and rubbing thoroughly 
 with salt and a bit of brown paper, I managed 
 to bake the cakes without greasing the pan. 
 Those cakes and a cup of cold water made out 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 137 
 
 our repast. We had not finished the cakes 
 when we were surprised to hear the sound of 
 distant thunder. " O, what shall we do?" said 
 the little girls, both speaking at once. Just at 
 this instant I was thinking I should not stay in 
 the old deserted place over night; I could not, 
 for there was no knowing who harbored in the 
 house. Probably every night Danites met there 
 to hold council. Imaginations of this character 
 tilled me with horror, knowing that at this period 
 Nauvoo was a poor place for safety. Every 
 movement of the Mormon church indicated re- 
 bellion against the civil law and against those 
 whom they termed Gentiles. This term indi- 
 cates Paganism, applied to those who are skep- 
 tical in the Mormon belief. They make no 
 distinction whatever, and the Gentile law is the 
 same to them as the heathen law or customs 
 would be to us. This, however, is a secret be- 
 lief among them, and a recent feature in the 
 Mormon church; I mean not until they were 
 driven out of Missouri did I ever hear anything 
 of this character advocated among them. How- 
 ever, they stick to the text without variableness 
 or shadow of turning, and the thought that a 
 man of this order should so far elude the com- 
 monwealth as to gain a hearing at the seat of 
 government under the American flag, looks 
 
138 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 strange to all who have had any experience 
 in the Mormon church. Let me here say I 
 would just as soon be called a Parricide as to 
 bear the name of a Mormon, a name which I 
 have always been ashamed of; and yet I can 
 say of a truth that no disgrace is attached to 
 my experience among this people. But I have 
 wandered far from my situation in the deserted 
 house. 
 
 The west wind now began to blow furiously, 
 and whatever there remained to be done must 
 be executed speedily, else we would be left in 
 the dark and rain. Elizabeth ran to the nearest 
 neighbor and asked if we could stay there over 
 night. An affirmative answer soon brought 
 her back, accompanied by a boy to take my 
 goods over, also. We had just got our beds 
 arranged, and were all comfortably in bed when 
 the rain descended and the floods came. This 
 was a new brick house, not finished off; up stairs 
 a window was left out, and the chamber floor 
 consisted of loose boards near enough together 
 to step on. My bed happened to be in the right 
 place to catch the rain from the window. The 
 lady of the house, I discovered, had got out of 
 bed and was trying to fasten something up to 
 the window up stairs. There was no man 
 about the premises to assist ; the lady tried in 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 139 
 
 i to secure the window as the storm beat 
 upon her unprotected form, and she 
 compelled to yield. Not a wor 1 coul 
 
 :\1: the roar of rain and wind was terrible. 
 I.i the. m.'.iniime Elizabeth and Sarah h 
 to see 1 ; a better position. I had cr. 
 a drv goods box and wrapped up in we: bed 
 in order to protect myself from the 
 
 I. On looking for my children to beckon 
 them *o me, a flash of lightning revealed the place 
 of their retreat, and the water was dripping from 
 
 r faces and hair. The storm passed gradually 
 nd as soon as I could be heard, I called 
 
 Httle girls to me and wrapped them up as 
 best I could in wet clothes, and \ve spent the 
 night in this awful condition. Morning came, 
 and we immediately hailed the glorious wel- 
 come dawn to prepare to leave the city of 
 trouble. The sun rose in magnificent splendor, 
 and in the consideration of our night of cruel 
 exposure, we arranged our affairs wondrously 
 well through the day. I got permission to do 
 my washing at the next nearest neighbors, and 
 after putting our bed out to dry, we immedi- 
 ately changed our place and got our breakfast 
 at Mr. Farnsworth's, glad to get where. we 
 could get something to eat. We partook of 
 the repast with a relish which we had not hith- 
 
140 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 erto enjoyed for some time. Mrs. Farnsworth 
 assisted in getting the wash water ready for us, 
 and while she thus assisted I, with the help of 
 my cane, walked over to Mr. Fielding's to en- 
 gage him with his team to take us to the land- 
 ing, the next morning at 9 o'clock. After resting 
 a few moments, I inquired if Mr. Fielding was 
 at home. His wife said he was fixing his wag- 
 on in the back yard, and he would be in pres- 
 ently. I waited a few moments, and while I 
 sat waiting, Mrs. Fielding's baby began to 
 worry, and she gave the child to a boy who 
 came in, saying: "Jim, take Charley out to 
 papa ;" and a minute after another ludy came 
 from another room ; she also had a child in her 
 arms. She sat down and her child began to 
 cry, and its mother gave it to a little girl and 
 said, " Take Georgy out to his papa." Those 
 two wives of Mr. Fielding's were large, portly, 
 good-looking women; but O, my God! to think 
 of those people being criminals, fit subjects for 
 the penitentiary. I was glad, and even rejoiced 
 to leave that house, and under any other cir- 
 cumstances I should not have spoken to such 
 people or took notice of them, if I had my right 
 mind. 
 
 I kept silent on this question ; as I had enough 
 to attend to of my own affairs; and another es- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 141 
 
 sential thing was, if I had told my mind there 
 remained not one doubt but a fatal result would 
 have occurred, and that speeeily. I returned 
 to my wash room, and with the assistance of 
 my little girls we got along wonderfully well. 
 A doctor visited at Farnsworth's during the 
 dav and said I was a plucky woman, for he 
 never saw a person at wgrk as ill as I was. 
 Said he, " You will pay dear for this ; and ten 
 chances to one if you ever recover. Your place 
 is in bed; you have a settled, malignant fever, 
 and ought rather to be under the careful treat- 
 ment of a skillful physician and nurse, than to 
 be so presumptuous." His talk did not aftect 
 me though in the least, and we worked on until 
 about sundown. We then hung out the few 
 pieces which had caused us so much hard la- 
 bor; and while hanging out our little washing 
 I improved the opportunity of telling Elizabeth 
 what we must do; that Mr. Farnsworth had 
 asked me to become his wife, and . " Well, 
 well; what did you say to him? " " I told him 
 I had no time to attend to such things now, but 
 when I felt more settled, after I got to Salt 
 Lake, I would then think more about such du- 
 ties, probably." "Now what must we do?" 
 she asked. " Well, we must keep awake to- 
 night, my child ; can you, think ? " " Yes," said 
 
I 4 2 
 
 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 Elizabeth, " I can keep awake, but it will make 
 you worse." I am sure we did not sleep a wink 
 last night; and such a night! " O, mother, you 
 are killing yourself," said Elizabeth. " Well, 
 my child, if I can get away with you and Sarah 
 Frances, I cannot ask for anything more; if 1 
 find I am not going to live, I will place you in 
 the care of some ggod people on the boat and 
 tell them where to send you, and all about it ; 
 but we can keep awake one more night." 
 
 After this conversation we had some change 
 to make in our clothing, and as directed by 
 Mrs. Farnsworth, we retired to a small room, 
 probably seven by ten in size. While there, we 
 noticed there was no window except a pane of 
 glass, and that looked out into a wagon shop. 
 It was now T getting dark, yet it was as light as 
 early twilight. Just before we were ready to 
 leave the room, my daughter hurriedly exclaim- 
 
 , " I am afraid this room is not safe for us," 
 pointing to a bloody place on the wall, and a 
 great blood puddle on the floor; and on looking 
 farther, a rifle in one corner, and directly under 
 my feet a trap door. We lost no time in hur- 
 rying out, and shuddered as we went. We 
 were now confident there was cause enough to 
 fear that all was not right, as the doctor went 
 out the same direction of this room before men- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMOSS. 143 
 
 tioned. I cannot say what the doctor's business 
 s, but I have my own opinion about it. Those 
 bloody places looked almost fresh, only dried 
 over a little. The murder was committed, 
 probably the previous night during that storm. 
 " Only a little longer," was sounded and repeat- 
 ed in my mind; "only a little longer, and all will 
 be well." This was the assurance, and this 
 was what gave me strength and fortitude. If 
 I hi :i opposition to their 
 
 "ild have s he same fate of 
 
 iv others. \\\- .arilecl several time* 
 
 during tl , but found ourselves all safe at 
 
 ; >rning came. That duv we rejoiced 
 to think we should bid adieu to the City of Des- 
 truction, and after eating a hurried breakfast 
 set about getting ourselves ready to depart ; 
 and we were happy, although we resembled 
 patients just free from a long occupancy of in- 
 firmary lodgings. 
 
 At 9 o'clock A. M. the team for which \ve had 
 been in long waiting stood before the door, and 
 after settling with my host, w r e started for the 
 landing. On arriving there we unexpectedly 
 found a house of entertainment at the wharf; 
 and on making inquiry, I found that a boat going 
 eastward was not expected until the next day. 
 I concluded to let patience have its perfect work, 
 
I 44 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 and in view of this I set my mind at rest. That 
 day my children shook harder with the ague 
 than ever before, and at 3 o'clock p. M. my 
 fever returned double fold, and we were shown 
 to a bed up stairs. I do not recollect having 
 any attention, and only remember that we were 
 all on one bed up stairs. This is all I can recol- 
 lect, until about 12 o'clock that night. I was 
 then awakened by the sound of some one com- 
 ing up stairs with heavy boots, and I shuddered 
 from head to foot. I now thought my time had 
 come. ^The messenger opened the door and 
 called out, "Where's that sick woman?" A 
 voice in another apartment said, " In the next 
 room." He came and said, " Woman, you left 
 your money and things on the center table in 
 the sitting room; here's your money, and I'll 
 just lay your other things on this table here. A 
 lot of fellows came into the sitting room to play 
 cards, and they took your things, money and 
 all, and laid them on the settee. It's a wonder 
 they didn't notice the money, if they had you 
 may bet you never would have seen it again, 
 for I see it's silver or gold. I didn't undo it; 
 you better count it when it gets daylight." I 
 made no reply to this, but he went down mut- 
 tering to himself " It's the tarnalest thing in 
 creation that w r omen don't know nothing; they'd 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 145 
 
 better lose their heads and done with it ; that 
 would be the thing for 'em to lose." I must 
 say I was heartily glad to hear the voice and 
 clatter of the old man's boots die away in the 
 distance. I now felt relieved, and again drop- 
 ped into a sound sleep. Morning, noon and 
 night came, and no boat in sight. At last, about 
 two o'clock in the night, or rather in the morn- 
 ing, a sudden rushing noise was heard through 
 the house, and the inmates all seemed to be 
 astir. < A boat in sight!" was heard from be- 
 low. I sprang to my feet and staggered to the 
 chair which contained our clothes, at the same 
 time awaking my children. We made a speedy 
 toilet and was ready when the proprietor came 
 up with a light, saying that the boat would only 
 touch the wharf. However, he promised to see 
 us on the boat all right. Now all I had to do 
 was to settle my bill. I was led onto the plank 
 and my children carried until we reached the 
 ladies' cabin. Our state room was fitted up 
 splendidly, and we retired immediately to our 
 own room, now of peace and safety. Elizabeth 
 was excited with joy, and the thought of our 
 final escape caused tears of gratitude to flow, 
 as from a newly broken fountain. 
 
 Sarah was now fast asleep in her berth, and 
 
 Elizabeth stood by me, while we thus gave 
 10 
 
146 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 vent to our bursting hearts. We were filled 
 with gratitude to God for the kind care and 
 protection He had manifested to us. The ladies 
 came in to see us ; they had been informed that 
 we had made our escape from that infuriated 
 people, the Mormons. This was soon after the 
 assassination of Joseph Smith and others of the 
 leaders of the Mormon church. They asked 
 me several questions, saying they were very 
 anxious to hear something of our history, in 
 that most exciting time among the Mormons. 
 I told them I should at present beg an excuse, 
 as sickness and fatigue would forbid me this 
 pleasure. They then offered to aid me in any- 
 thing I should wish, and assured me that I need 
 not feel any delicacy in making my wants 
 known to them, as they would most gladly do 
 anything for me and my children. I told them 
 a little rest and quiet would be a great help to 
 us at present. I was very grateful for their 
 kindness; for most truly it made me feel at 
 home and among friends. 
 
 The next morning I sent to the clerk's office 
 to pay for my ticket to Cincinnati, Ohio, but 
 the answer came that my ticket was free. 
 When this word came to me, my gratitude was 
 only expressed with tears, as my tongue could 
 not give utterance to what I wished to say. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 147 
 
 "What kind of people are those on this boat," 
 thought I; "it must be they are Christians, or 
 they would not bestow so many favors upon 
 us?" That day the ladies came in to see us, 
 and among them was one who told me of her 
 own experience among the Mormons, at which 
 I was surprised. She said her husband had 
 taken another wife, after which she became dis- 
 gusted and left him and also her property; and 
 he had sold all and gone to Salt Lake City. 
 This lady also said there were three or four 
 more on the boat, who were making their exit 
 from the Mormons, privately though, and con- 
 sequently kept secluded. Now I felt that I was 
 not alone. 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 The kindness of the people on this boat sup- 
 plied our every want ; even luxuries and dainties 
 were freely dealt out to us both by the captain 
 and the passengers. All seemed to take an in- 
 terest in our comfort and welfare. I inquired 
 what it all meant. The answer was that I had 
 performed that which six strong men would 
 
148 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 not dare to undertake, and they considered me 
 worthy of all they could do for me and my 
 children. " He that giveth to the poor, lendeth 
 unto the Lord; and that which he hath given, 
 will He pay him again; good measure, pressed 
 down, shaken together and running over." 
 
 The weather continued warm; and as we 
 traveled on, day after day, every day brought 
 us nearer our separation, which I so much 
 dreaded; as I should take another boat at Cin- 
 cinnati, and should then be separated from those 
 who were so friendly to us. We could not ex- 
 pect this treatment from everyone, and we set 
 this down, not as a general rule, but as an ex- 
 ception. The time arrived for us to change, 
 and when we were about to separate, they 
 handed me seventeen dollars, to be used as I 
 should need it. I shook hands with them, but 
 said not a word, as they carefully helped us on 
 to the next boat. We now were among 
 strangers, and by all appearances, we could not 
 think of finding much sympathy or hospitality. 
 The people appeared different altogether from 
 those on the first boat. A gaming table I no- 
 ticed in the center of the ladies cabin, and oc- 
 casionally a set of bloated, red faced men and 
 women seated themselves to take a game of 
 cards. I saw nothing of this among those sen- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 149 
 
 sible people on the other boat. One afternoon 
 the card-players assembled and began their 
 merriment, as usual. My children and myself 
 were out now, and had been sitting quietly for 
 some time, resting in easy chairs, when those 
 people came rushing in. They were a lively 
 set, and their merry laughter rang in our ears, 
 which was not in the least agreeable to our 
 throbbing, aching heads. My little girls asked 
 what they were doing. I did not tell them, but 
 caressingly smoothed back their curls, and re- 
 quested them to lie down upon the sofa. And 
 now they were soon asleep, and as I looked 
 upon them, so pale, so poor, O, how my strick- 
 en heart ached for those faithful little creatures. 
 They had wisely kept all I told them in Nau- 
 voo, and in consequence of this we had made 
 our escape safely. I was not able to leave my 
 state room much of the time, only to go to my 
 meals, and this was very seldom. However, in 
 a few days we arrived at Big Beaver, on the 
 Ohio river. Here we took a canal packet to 
 the city of Warren. The cabin maid on this 
 packet was a colored lady and a Christian. I 
 received all the attention and care I needed. 
 She attended to our every want with all the 
 promptness of an own mother, i remember 
 the nice dish of blackberries she brought to us, 
 
150 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 with sugar and cream ; I can see just how they 
 looked, although it is now over thirty-five 
 years ago. 
 
 We arrived at Warren and went thence to 
 our friends and acquaintances. At this time 
 there were no railroads in this part of the coun- 
 try, and the weary traveler was doomed to sit 
 in a carriage and jolt a long time before he 
 could reach his place of destination. We ar- 
 rived at our friends after being on the road 
 three weeks, which was then called a quick 
 trip. At this time I was very ill and felt per- 
 fectly resigned to pass away and be at rest. 
 We were all safe, and nothing more to fear; 
 but my time had not come ; I must struggle on, 
 I had my children to care for. Had it not been 
 for them I would have nothing to care for ; but 
 these were all I had left, and if I had not these, 
 what would I have to care for in this world? 
 I have thought, at times, when the air castles 
 were being erected in my imagination, which 
 would glisten with the magnificence of Solo- 
 mon's temple; the anticipation of which would 
 gild the picture of them, when they should 
 become young women, and companionship 
 should be enjoyed, and pride crown my old age, 
 that they are my children whom I have reared 
 through much care and suffering, for the world 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 151 
 
 to admire. How many mothers, think you, 
 have had the same hope? and how many, think 
 you, have had those hopes crushed to the 
 ground, and their aged heads brought down 
 with sorrow to the grave? The culture of 
 children can be improved ; but where there are 
 children there needs also be wealth, in order to 
 rear them properly and approvingly. They 
 can be taught, even in infancy, the Lord's 
 prayer, and in after years the meaning of the 
 words. They can also be taught how to act 
 toward other children. They can learn how to 
 mind their parents and to reverence old people, 
 and how to be pleasant and courteous. Noth- 
 ing looks better than this; it is something which 
 every one admires. This is one great secret 
 courtesy will pave your way with pebbles of 
 gold all along life's path, removing thorns and 
 thistles, and will make soft your pillow at night. 
 Teach your children courtesy, and they have 
 an armor which will win the victory over almost 
 any obstacle in life. But I have wandered 
 strangely from my story. My strength was 
 fast failing, and I had become so weak I could 
 not speak above a whisper. My physician told 
 me there was no hopes of my recovery; that he 
 would do all he could, but the case was not in 
 any manner an encouraging one; however, if 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 the weather became cool there might possibly 
 be a little better prospect. My choice, whether 
 to live or die was a matter of little consequence 
 to me. Had it not been for my family I should 
 have chosen rather to go and be at rest; but 
 my time had not come, and my work was not 
 accomplished. I was still more convinced that 
 my days were not numbered when reading the 
 first verses which met my observation on open- 
 ing the bible, which were as follows: "The 
 right hand of the Lord is exalted. The right 
 hand of the Lord doeth valiantly. I shall not 
 die, but shall live and declare the works of the 
 Lord. The Lord hath chastened me sore, but 
 He hath not given me over unto death." I 
 closed the book, and now felt an assurance that 
 I should get well; and telling my nurse, who 
 was a Christian lady, that I should recover, I 
 referred her to the book of Psalms, n8th chap- 
 ter, i6th, iyth and i8th verses. She read the 
 verses and replied that it was a very singular 
 paragraph for me to open to just then, and very 
 appropriate too ; but I saw that she doubted the 
 assurance which I cherished; this lady was my 
 nurse, but not matronly, she was only twenty 
 years of age, and very amiable. However, I per- 
 ceived that a change was taking place. Howbeit, 
 my friends were incredulous in regard to my sur- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 153 
 
 viving the period of two days at the longest, 
 and as they took me in their arms and carrid 
 me into another apartment where it would be 
 more convenient to lay me out, I should have 
 laughed if I had not been too weak, for I knew 
 just what it meant; but I did not believe it 
 would turn out as they thought. Nevertheless, 
 I was perfectly willing that they should enjoy 
 their own opinion if that would be any 
 satisfaction. 
 
 My little girls had recovered and gone to live 
 with good people in the vicinity where my 
 friends resided. My recovery was slow, but at 
 the close of every week I found myself a little 
 better; and six long months elapsed before I 
 could call myself free from this horrible fever. 
 I look back upon the period with perfect dread. 
 I am sometimes half persuaded to believe that 
 satan himself had a hand in the whole transac- 
 tion. Read Job, nth chapter, 6th verse: " And 
 the Lord said unto Satan, * Behold, he is in thine 
 hand, but save his life.' r I have also thought 
 sometimes that I was smitten with the fever 
 that I might not make my escape with my chil- 
 dren from the danger which awaited us. How- 
 ever, I had now recovered enough to sit up a 
 little, and within a few weeks could help myself 
 more and more. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 I was now at a loss to know how things 
 would turn in regard to my support. The pro- 
 tracted illness, together with so many hardships 
 and care and fear while rescuing my children 
 from the fate which would surely have overtaken 
 them, made me labor with a will, and I accom- 
 plished my purpose through the never-failing 
 assistance of Him who is able to do all things. 
 
 At the time of which I am writing I was so 
 reduced in flesh that my weight could not have 
 been over sixty pounds; whereas my usual 
 weight is one hundred and twenty-two. A cap 
 was a substitute for my once well set hair, and 
 a cane was my support. I was at this time in 
 my thirty-fourth year. This was in the year 
 of our Lord 1846. My memory was much im- 
 paired, as also other mental and physical facul- 
 ties, which casualities were for a long time a 
 source of great inconvenience. At this time 
 my greatest trouble was that my hair would be 
 gray when it began to grow out again ; but in 
 this I was happily disappointed, for when it 
 came out it was a dark brown, and was in 
 waves all over my head. Having necessarily 
 given myself sufficient time to regain my 
 strength, I went to a little village four miles 
 distant. I soon found I had made a poor selec- 
 tion in a boarding place, however hard they 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 155 
 
 endeavored to conceal it ; but I had friends who 
 helped me out and directed me to a respectable 
 citizen and an old resident. Here I found pleas- 
 ant and agreeable people. My millinery work 
 increased, and in many respects I was prosper- 
 ed, feeling at home and happy as the circum- 
 stances would allow me to be. Being away 
 from my children caused me many a tear and 
 many a deep sigh. How true it is 
 
 "The blithesome bird that haunts the vale 
 
 Will bear but half her grief; 
 Sin tioat- lu-r sorrows on the gale, 
 
 And gives her soul relief. 
 
 The meanest flowret on field 
 
 Basks in the noon-day sun, 
 And every creature hath a rest 
 
 When daily toil is done, 
 I to myself made silent moan, 
 
 And bore my sorrows all alone." 
 
 Consistency in the things pertaining to a 
 divine life had hitherto been preferable to me, 
 as God's laws are invariable and his works in 
 perfect order; in perfect principle; in perfect 
 loveliness. But I had long since found that this 
 world was not consistent; yet in my younger 
 days I was inclined to " believe all things and 
 hold fast that which was good." However, my 
 foes were alive, and my warfare not ended. I 
 
156 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 now was compelled to endure a rumor which 
 was set afloat upon the wings of the wind, by 
 that most hateful thing called malice a rumor 
 which had been freshly manufactured and pre- 
 sented to those who are ever ready to " roll a lie 
 as a sweet morsel under their tongue," and seem- 
 ing to relish it the better if they could only obtain 
 it before the agreeable odor of fire and brimstone 
 had passed off, and the smell of the bottomless 
 pit. This odor and taste were sweeter to them 
 than honey in the honey comb. Who was he 
 that said: "Blessed are ye when men shall re- 
 vile you and shall persecute you, and shall say 
 all manner of evil against you falsely, for My 
 sake. Rejoice and be exceeding glad, for great 
 is your reward in heaven ; for so persecuted they 
 the prophets which were before you? This 
 was He who suffered death for us, and can we 
 not bear a little reproach for His sake? for the 
 eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and 
 His ears are open unto their prayers ; but the 
 face of the Lord is against them that do evil; 
 and who is he that will harm you if ye be fol- 
 lowers of that which is good? And if ye suffer 
 for righteousness sake, happy are ye. Be not 
 afraid of their terror; neither be troubled, hav- 
 ing a good conscience, that whereas they speak 
 evil of you as of evil doers, they may be 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 157 
 
 ashamed that falsely accuse your good conver- 
 sation in Christ." i Peter, 3: 12, 13, 14, 16. 
 Therefore, having the blessed assurance that 
 happily I was Christ's, and that He was mine, 
 this assurance raised me far above and beyond 
 the vain and transitory things of this sinful 
 world;! could rest peacefully on His blessed 
 promises, and look away to that beautiful home 
 prepared for the poor, weary pilgrim, by the 
 Savior's own hand. That same hand will 
 smooth our dying pillow, and wipe away all 
 tears from our eyes. How sweet the words 
 " Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the 
 kingdom prepared for you." 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 My time at the millinery table was as well 
 improved as my feeble strength would allow; 
 but the thought of being separated from my 
 family almost destroyed my reason. At night, 
 in my wakeful hours, I have asked myself these 
 questions: "Have they comfortable places to 
 sleep? Do they fare as well as they would with 
 
158 LIFE AMONG THE MOEMONS. 
 
 me, or are they neglected, and no one to care 
 for them? O, God, protect and take care of 
 them." Then the thought came that if I trust- 
 ed in Him, my children should not suffer. I had 
 one consolation, and that was, 
 
 " We would not live always, I ask not to stay 
 Where storm after storm rises dark o'er the way." 
 
 No, we like all others were passing away, and 
 in a few days, perhaps years, if we are patient, 
 we shall join that happy company who have 
 passed through the furnace of affliction, and 
 have been purified as gold is purified in the fur- 
 nace. This was a very great trial, which re- 
 quired a special degree of grace and firmness. 
 I now was called upon to attend a family who 
 were all sick ; I think there was not one exempt. 
 1 called the next day and found a house resem- 
 bling a hospital. I told them I would do for 
 them the best in my power, but they had cho- 
 sen a poor nurse, I feared. But they were glad 
 of even my assistance. We concluded it was 
 caused by something they had eaten ; they were 
 covered with boils. " We are dreadfully afflict- 
 ed," said the lady, " and would be glad of your 
 assistance. Did the little boy tell you what our 
 illness was? " inquired the lady. " Yes, he said 
 you were all covered over with boils." The 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 159 
 
 lady smiled and said the family were all on beds, 
 some in one place and some in another, above 
 and below; " and for three days and nights we 
 have had no rest," she said. " Go where you 
 will, there is a couch and sick child, and I am 
 tired out, but have to watch the baby " (point- 
 ing to a bed room); "they are quiet now for 
 the first time, the mercy knows how long. Now 
 if you will help us through," said the good 
 lady, "I will be very grateful -indeed; further- 
 more, you shall be well remunerated for your 
 trouble." " O, I will not refuse; some one must 
 help you, that is apparent," I said. And suit- 
 ing my actions to my words, feeling that I had 
 a duty before me, I commenced the work, to 
 do by others as I would have them do by me 
 under like circumstances. 
 
 The time passed off much more agreeable than 
 any one would dare imagine, and three weeks 
 told the story. I was free once more, and re- 
 turned to my boarding place with the satisfac- 
 tion that I had done my duty. During the 
 latter part of summer I made arrangements to 
 again commence keeping house. I informed 
 Mrs. E. of the fact, to which she objected, say- 
 ing she could not think of my leaving her. 
 " You have been with us over a year, and seem 
 like one of our own family, and you can remain 
 
l6o LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 with us as long as you live for that matter." 
 Of course, I too would not wish to leave; but 
 after one has had a home of their own they re- 
 alize its comforts. " Ah, remember," said Mrs. 
 E., " you had some one then to provide for that 
 home. However, it is perfectly natural and 
 right; but you will find it more difficult to get 
 along than you now do; and another thing, 
 your health is not by any means sufficient to 
 maintain your family and pay all expenses. You 
 have lost sight of the many difficulties which 
 attends housekeeping. In fact, it is easy to 
 think, but hard to do," Mrs. E. said. " We find, 
 too, that it is easy to be a fair-weather Christian, 
 bold where there is nothing to be done, and 
 confident where there is nothing to be feared; 
 difficulties unmask him to others; temptations 
 unmask him to himself. He discovers that al- 
 though he is a professor he is no Christian." 
 "Mrs. E.,your argument is good," I said; "but 
 still I have a mind to try it, and if I do not suc- 
 ceed, which truly I may not, it will be no more 
 than others have done." " True," she replied, 
 " but like a brave soldier who is supported under 
 dangers by a strong faith, that the fruits of that 
 victory for which he is fighting will be safety, 
 peace and glory; but alas, the pleasures of this 
 life are present and visible ; the honors are re- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 161 
 
 mote for which he is striving; he therefore fails 
 because nothing short of a lively faith can ever 
 outweigh a strong present temptation, and lead 
 one to prefer joys of conquest to the pleasures 
 of indulgence." " Well, Mrs. E., your council 
 is answered in few words; that you almost con- 
 vince me of my weakness in judgment concern- 
 ing this matter. And yet I can truly say that 
 if there is anything contrary to the code of 
 wisdom and good judgment, the dictates of 
 which I should be tempted to follow, it would 
 most assuredly be that of having a snug little 
 home of my own. But Providence has taken 
 away every means of my earthly support, and 
 my nature is in opposition to His decree. Noth- 
 ing can ever reconcile me to my loss but the 
 special grace of God." 
 
 Again, when I meditate that this was a di- 
 vine appointment, my murmurings are not 
 uttered; I would drive them from my inmost 
 thoughts when desires come like the love of a 
 pleasant home, and when we cannot see the 
 faintest shadow of harm, we are most likely to 
 bring it about, even if it is in a temporary struc- 
 ture, or some form which could answer in part 
 our inmost desires, and thus alleviate our sor- 
 rows, and for a time beguile the realities of 
 
 misfortunes. I therefore rented rooms of Mr. 
 11 
 
162 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 A., and with the assistance of my oldest daugh- 
 ter prepared for a removal. Mr. and Mrs. E. 
 loaded the wagon with necessaries for house- 
 keeping, the same as for an own daughter, and 
 tears ran down their withered cheeks as they 
 were loading the team for my departure. They 
 were old people and quite gray, and if ever my 
 heart ached for any people beside my own pa- 
 rents, it was for them. However, I told them 
 they would now have a place to visit, which 
 they readily agreed to. Those people were 
 highly respected. Mr. E. was educated for the 
 ministry, and had been in public business in his 
 young days, and Mrs. E. was a Friend a 
 Quaker in her religious views, but did not use 
 the Quaker phrases. While I remained with 
 them, I became acquainted with their children, 
 who were leading men and women in the higher 
 ranks of society. One of their daughters was 
 in long membership with the M. E. church in 
 E. V., to which I had joined as a probationer, 
 and afterward joined in full membership. This 
 was in Espyville, Pa., in the year 1847. In our 
 little quiet home w r e passed many happy days 
 and hours, and were not neglected by those 
 good old people, Mr. and Mrs. Espy. Our stay 
 at this place was only about two or three years. 
 I had procured homes for some of my children 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 163 
 
 where they intended stopping permanently, as 
 my health, it was evident, would never be suffi- 
 cient to maintain them. I had a severe attack 
 of rheumatism, and being. necessarily under 
 medical treatment, I was compelled to abandon 
 all hopes of ever procuring a home for myself 
 and children, as I had sometimes fancied I could. 
 My place in Nauvoo would not make a home 
 for us unless the taxes were kept paid up. At 
 this period my health had become very much 
 impaired with hard labor and exposure, through 
 wet and cold, and fatigue of getting a living. 
 Impaired and disabled, I was still under 
 medical treatment, I did not slacken my vigi- 
 lance, working on early and late, and at times 
 working all night in order to fill my engage- 
 ments although this is nothing unusual for 
 any who follow sewing for a livelihood. 
 
 At the time of which I am writing, my daugh- 
 ter Nellie was with me most of the time; a 
 small portion of the time she spent with friends 
 four miles away. She was a splendid child, 
 both in looks and in behavior. She Was four- 
 teen and was ambitious, frugal and tidy. My 
 oldest son, William, was now ten ; a very prom- 
 ising, smart little boy, very quiet, though full of 
 merriment and attractiveness. My two sons 
 were in their infancy brought very low with 
 
164 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 illnes, even to the verge of the grave, but were 
 raised through much care and watchfulness. I 
 thought, at the time of which I now write, they 
 all had as good places as could be found, and I 
 tried to think the people with whom I had en- 
 trusted them would do the fair thing by them. 
 But there is no torture so cruel as for a mother 
 to be separated from her children; however 
 hard this may be, many a mother has been un- 
 der the necessity of enduring this thorn in her 
 side during her natural life. 
 
 In this little home we still lingered. Some- 
 times we could get what was necessary, but 
 when the snow was deep we could not get 
 enough for our comforts; but the rain never 
 hindered us ; we could go through mud and rain 
 to get work, and take it home when finished. 
 In a small village work must be done cheaply, 
 and consequently a great deal of work must be 
 done for a little money. House rent must be 
 paid, wood must be got and cut fire length, and 
 paid for, besides clothing and all other necessa- 
 ries of life must be had. Notwithstanding all 
 the difficulties under which we were laboring, 
 I can truly say, as King David, " I had rather 
 be a door-keeper in the house of God than to 
 dwell in the tents of wickedness. I was away 
 from the Mormons, and my children were safe 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 165 
 
 too. I ought never to complain a word about 
 anything more as long as I live; it seems wick- 
 ed. God had done so much for us, placed us 
 among Christians, and a people who respect the 
 law; people who regard morality, and chastity, 
 and virtue; people who are charitable to the 
 unfortunate, and were engaging their utmost 
 powers to subdue evil and promote good, and 
 to crush out wickedness and build up righteous- 
 ness. These were the people among whom we 
 dwelt; and this being the case, what had we 
 to fear? 
 
 I received a letter from my mother, who then 
 resided in Wisconsin, requesting me to come to 
 her ; that she could cure me, she thought. But 
 not having strength to undergo the journey, I 
 resolved on going to my brother's in Meadville, 
 as two of my brothers resided in that place, 
 which was only twenty miles distant. Here I 
 probably should abide until I recovered from 
 my painful disease, the rheumatism. The jour- 
 ney, though a short one, was productive of a 
 long siege of utter helplessness, and I could not 
 be moved in bed for the time of three weeks. 
 However, after this period, I began to mend ; and 
 received another letter from my mother to come 
 to Wisconsin as soon as I should be able to travel; 
 but as there was no railroad as yet from Mead- 
 
166 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 ville to Erie, I abandoned all hopes of getting 
 out to Madison, Wisconsin, for some length of 
 time. As soon as I was able to get about again 
 I commenced work in a millinery establishment 
 with Mrs. Vincent a large emporium of mil- 
 linery and dress goods and remained there 
 throughout the business part of the winter sea- 
 son, through which term my brother's house 
 was filled with boarders, students of the Alle- 
 gheney College; and through the summer sea- 
 son also, this house was the students' home. 
 
 Notwithstanding my brother's manifestation 
 of his desire that I should remain with him 
 until I should permanently regain my health, I 
 had a great desire to again see my dear old 
 mother, and acknowledge to her by word how 
 sorry I had always felt for leaving home and 
 going with the Mormons; that I truly believed 
 this illness and misfortune was all caused by 
 doing that which I knew was contrary to the 
 wishes of my parents. I therefore conducted 
 my affairs to suit this resolve as properly as my 
 ability would allow, and agreeable to this con- 
 clusion I started in the stage for Erie, it being 
 thirty miles from Meadville. I said I started, 
 but the stage coach stood before the door in 
 patient waiting; for a number of our friends had 
 assembled early at my brother's to bid me fare- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 167 
 
 well, and the delay was caused by the many 
 tears and good wishes and cautions to take 
 good care of myself. These were they who 
 were in the serenade under the window the 
 night previous. The music was lovely, and the 
 words magnificent and applicable; beautiful as 
 the splendor and stillness of night. After the 
 door of the coach was opened and I had found 
 a seat, each one of those ladies came and pre- 
 sented their card, and after the compliment was 
 returned and the farewells repeated, we were 
 speedily whirled away. A long sigh was a 
 short rest to me, as the stage drove up to a wa- 
 tering trough, and the passengers had one after 
 another alighted upon the platform in front of 
 a hotel ; but it was a sigh of relief. They had 
 all left the stage in order to get straightened 
 out and rested. An old gentleman and myself 
 were now the only occupants, and as this old 
 gentleman noticed the sigh which almost un- 
 consciously escaped my lips, he said : " Madam, 
 are you ill? " "Yes, I have been afflicted some 
 time with rheumatism," I replied. " Poor mor- 
 tal," said the good old gentleman, while tears 
 of pity and compassion filled his eyes. Sure 
 enough, thought I, if any one upon this earth 
 needs pity, I think it is me. However, within a 
 few moments the passengers returned, and I 
 
168 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 again was compelled to cramp myself up into 
 close quarters, and remain in the same position 
 until I arrived at a hotel in Erie. On reaching 
 there my sufferings were great, and I almost 
 abandoned the idea of taking a boat the morn- 
 ing following. That night at the hotel was one 
 long to be remembered. I was tortured with 
 pain from head to foot, and with much difficulty 
 I managed to keep my groans to myself, with- 
 out disturbing the inmates. However, the 
 morning came at last, and with the morning 
 came bitter memories of the necessity I was 
 under to leave those loved ones, and seek relief 
 at the hands of my mother yet so far away. 
 
 This was the first time I had ever seen Lake 
 Erie in the summer, and a steamboat on the 
 lake, under sail, did not look larger than a small 
 bird flying in the air. I started the next morn- 
 ing for Detroit, Michigan, and after a stormy 
 night and the horrors of being buried in the 
 deep, we finally landed in Detroit about day- 
 light. I had received a card while at Erie, for 
 the "Johnson House," saying all baggage car- 
 ried free to and from the landing. After arriv- 
 ing at the house the proprietor came and said I 
 had better get my baggage checked, and also 
 directed me to the depot, which I immediately 
 attended to. This was something which I was 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 169 
 
 not accustomed to, for as yet I had never seen 
 a car, and consequently had this all to learn. 
 After getting my baggage checked I met the 
 drayman as I was going into the ladies sitting 
 room, who accosted me with this: " Fifty cents, 
 madam, for bring up your baggage." " I am 
 stopping at the Johnson House, and my card 
 tells me that all baggage is carried free to and 
 from the landing." "Can't help that; I shall 
 take your goods if you don't pay." I paid no 
 attention to this; but after this the baggage- 
 master had to interpose, else he would have 
 taken my goods. At half past five the passen- 
 s began to assemble at the depot, and at six 
 p. M. I was on my way to Milwaukee, after 
 which I arrived at my mothers, in or near Mad- 
 ison. This was a journey long to be remem- 
 bered ; however, the satisfaction of seeing my 
 mother and sisters was indescribable, and I will 
 not attempt it at this time. 
 
 I remained at my mother's until my health 
 had so far recovered that I considered myself 
 almost as well as ever, and I went to work at 
 my trade in the city of Madison. Having 
 learned that my beloved sister Jane was living 
 at Fond du Lac, I immediately wrote her of 
 my arrival. I had not seen this favorite sister 
 since we joined in girlish glee at our own 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 father's fireside; yet our correspondence never 
 had been relinquished, and the same sisterly 
 affection still remained, pure as when our little 
 feet wandered together in woodlands sweetest 
 bower, to see the murmuring streamlet or listen 
 to the charmingly sweet songsters of the fresh, 
 green forest, which re-echoed the clapping of 
 our hands and merry voices, at some unexpected 
 joy of the newly discovered curiosities. The 
 friendship still remained just as pure as then, 
 and in reply to my letter I received the follow- 
 ing answer: 
 
 "MY DEAR SISTER: Do visions of a dream, 
 in hours of slumber, again occupy my anxious 
 mind? or do messengers of winged ones revisit 
 the hours of midnight flattering a heart swelled 
 with hope and despair, when accents in soft 
 whispers have said to me, " You shall see her 
 again before death closes the scene." Those 
 dreams and thoughts have filled my anxious 
 mind since you, my dear sister, left me. I can- 
 not tell now how I spent my time after being 
 bereft of your society; no other one at home 
 whom I could substitute for your loss. Seek- 
 ing the society of others only added grief to 
 disappointment. My walks were lonely and 
 disconsolate; I was like a dove who mourned 
 her absent mate. I often absented myself from 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 171 
 
 the family to seek meditation, and resorted to 
 the hills or groves, or sought a spreading tree. 
 . There I would seat myself, and the times when 
 you were with me would crowd upon my mem- 
 ory, and for a time fanciful ideas have magni- 
 fied realities, until coming to myself as awak- 
 ing from a pleasant dream. 
 
 The melody of a summer breeze, 
 
 The thrilling notes of bird-, 
 Can never be so dear to me 
 
 As your remembered words. 
 
 I sought a balm for a wounded spirit in various 
 ways. The merry and giddy dance I sought 
 it there, but found it not. I often took my little 
 book as a companion ; not the novelties of a 
 character of benighted merits, which had hith- 
 erto been my refuge, but one which may well 
 be called a cordial for every wounded spirit. 
 This blessed history, the Hero of which is of 
 such a character, so full of pity, whose eyes are 
 ever moved, and whose ear is neve: turned, nor 
 
 I 1 is arm ever shortened, this is the companion I 
 now chose; and from that happy moment I 
 have found Him to be all I could wish or desire, 
 or worthy to receive. Years have, however, 
 found me the mother of a family, and I am 
 aware that this period of my life is to me ot the 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 greatest importance ; I realize the need of a well 
 fortified mind. 
 
 I have wandered far from what I wished first 
 to say; it is this: Can it be that my own dearest 
 k sister is in Madison, and we shall meet again? 
 This was what filled my mind when I read your 
 welcome letter. You may look for me the first 
 of November, if you remain there. I will try 
 to wait until I see you; and for the present, 
 farewell. J. H." 
 
 I will not attempt here to describe my feel- 
 ings on reading this letter. My feeble language 
 would fail at the attempt should I try to tell 
 what sad forebodings of the past were now 
 presented to my memory. I little thought how 
 firmly her affections were placed on me. She 
 had repeatedly written me, yet she never had 
 expressed her feelings so plainly as now; and 
 my heart was torn asunder, and that not unde- 
 servingly, either, for I felt that I had thought- 
 lessly forfeited true happiness for an uncertain 
 reward of peace and satisfaction, when the tide 
 of rewards should come in. Alas! the time had 
 passed and gone forever ; I could not recall the 
 days and years which might have been spent 
 with her and given comfort to her most noble 
 heart. However just or unjust may be the 
 cause of our separation, I must leave this to be 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 173 
 
 decided in the unknown future; and now I must 
 sutler remorse for doing what I truly thought 
 at the time would be acceptable in the sight of 
 God. " He that loveth father or mother, broth- 
 er or sister, house or land, more than Me, is not 
 worthy of me." These are the words of our 
 blessed Savior; and for fear I should be found 
 to fight against God's works, I left my home 
 and friends and went with the deluded Mormon 
 church, from whom I could not obtain a surety 
 for a peaceful or a glorious victory or reward 
 at last. But here I leave this story and con- 
 template the visit from my sister in person. 
 
 The time at length arrived when she intend- 
 ed to come to Madison. It had rained for three 
 days and nights; the streets were all in a com- 
 plete float of water, and not a person could be 
 seen upon the sidewalks. Whenever I cast a 
 glance at the deplorable condition of the weath- 
 er, all I could see to gladden me was the large 
 letters on the " Argus "printing office. " What 
 is it that a printer cannot do? " thought I; they 
 can make fair weather when it rains.; they 
 make one smile through a tear; they can turn 
 winter into summer, and thorns and thistles into 
 fresh roses and beautiful flowers ; they can make 
 a poor man rich; they can create friends and 
 subdue enemies ; they can build up or pull down ; 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 they can make pleasant homes ; they can make 
 your life happy and agreeable yes, they can 
 do this and much more. I cannot enumerate 
 all they can do, thought I to myself as I turned 
 from the window against which the rain was 
 dashing furiously. And now I was seated again 
 at the work table, and forgetful of the time my 
 poor sister would have if she had started just 
 before this unmerciful rain. No doubt she 
 laid by for the rain to subside. 
 
 The next morning it was still raining; and 
 after the usual routine of housework was ac- 
 complished, as also my toilet, I was standing 
 at the front window, and all I could see was 
 "Argus" office, looking earnestly to catch a 
 glimpse, or a transitory object of a cheerful na- 
 ture, to drive dull cares away, for it was one of 
 those dismal days which makes one feel like 
 one forsaken. I was viewing the awful condi- 
 tion of the roads and the prospect of traveling; 
 thinking of my sister, and saying to myself, 
 " O, dear, it always does rain when I am in any 
 great expectation about anything;" when sud- 
 denly a carriage drove up to my door. It was 
 now pouring rain. I concluded they were com- 
 ing in a moment to find a shelter from the storm. 
 The driver immediately alighted, and hurriedly 
 throwing open the carriage door, a young, good 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 175 
 
 looking lady stepped out, and a hurried rap \vas 
 heard at the front door. I led the way into a 
 warm, comfortable apartment, and asked her to 
 lay off her damp cloak and hat; but she said 
 they would go again soon ; and after a brief 
 conversation about the rain, and she had sur- 
 veyed me closely, she inquired: " Are you si 
 to Mrs. Hulce? Jane Hulce, I mean." "Yes, 
 I am her sister; or at least I have a sister by 
 that name." " Well," said the young lady, "she 
 is out at aunt's, in the country; I am her daugh- 
 ter, and have come after you." "O, heaven; 
 is that possible?" I exclaimed. "Is this Jane's 
 own daughter; my abused, poor sister whom I 
 left, to go off with the Mormons?" This was 
 what filled my mind as this cqme from the beau- 
 tiful lips of Jane's own daughter, Nettie Hulce; 
 and in less time than I am writing this, I was 
 in the carriage, whirling along through mud 
 and water. It was eight miles travel. How- 
 ever, we reached the abode of Adeline Butter- 
 field, and my sister Jane and I were in each 
 other's arms. I tried to speak, but it was not 
 possible. I tried again, but could not utter a 
 word; if I could have spoken, they would have 
 been words of repentence. She understood all, 
 but said not a word. - If we could have spoken, 
 I should have said: "Can you forgive me?" 
 
1 76 LIFE AMONG THE MOEMONS. 
 
 and her answer would have been a four-fold 
 acquittance, right from her heart, too. Twenty 
 long, weary years had passed since we sepa- 
 rated at our father's house. In vain we tried 
 to find words to communicate our satisfaction 
 and thankfulness to meet once more ; but we 
 soon found that tears were a far better substi- 
 tute than the deficient English language. 
 
 After all, our visit was a sober one ; we were 
 both willing it should be; memories of the past 
 had so gathered around our hearts, it really 
 seemed cruel to even smile ; consequently, our 
 meeting was attended with sobriety. The rain 
 had now subsided, and only now and then a 
 cloud could be seen. The next morning we 
 arose to once more^ inhale the fresh atmosphere. 
 O, how unsurpassingly delightful, to once more 
 take a stroll in this newly washed herbage and 
 air, with my own dear sister. The herbage, 
 however, was a second growth of grass and 
 flowers on the prairie, as the frost had turned 
 the most early herbage to a dark redish hue. 
 The breeze seemed to blow for the self same 
 purpose, to accommodate our wishes, and gave 
 us strength and life. We were now wrapped 
 together in that sweetest of all love, that of 
 which the Savior said, " See that ye love one 
 another fervently." 
 
CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 In the year 1855, we consigned our mother 
 and sister and her husband to the grave. The 
 small-pox had caused mortality to ivign in our 
 midst, and taken those who were dear to us, 
 and now only two sisters remained in the vicin- 
 ity of Madison. One of those was Mrs. M. A. 
 Cook, wife of Dr. J. Cook, who was president 
 <>f Dane county poor house. After my moth- 
 tth I removed to BelK \ ur, Iowa, as at 
 this time my oldest daughter had married and 
 came to that place with my two sons, expecting 
 to make that their permanent home. After my 
 arrival there, and finding there was no milliner 
 in the place, I commenced the work, determined 
 on making it a success. I therefore thought to 
 use caution, not as yet knowing what the result 
 would be. My work increased, and I may well 
 say the prospect looked promising. I now 
 found myself with a large run of custom, and 
 had reason to fancy that my work was appre- 
 ciated by all. This was a great satisfaction in- 
 deed. Money was plenty, and all business in a 
 flourishing condition; and finding it necessary 
 to procure help, I engaged a young lady millin- 
 
 12 
 
178 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 er to assist in the business, having all I could do 
 attending to orders and the many wants which 
 were proclaimed in my ears every hour in the 
 day. Applications to take apprentice girls 
 were not in the least uncommon, and this afford- 
 ed me a chance to take my choice. I stocked 
 my store in small bills in the commencement, 
 until I was overrun with as many solicitations 
 for things I had not got as there is hours in 
 business, and consequently I procured an assort- 
 ment to accommodate if possible all demands 
 of my worthy patrons. I filled up my store; 
 my income increased far beyond my expecta- 
 tions and continued good for a number of years. 
 One morning I received a call from two 
 young ladies just from England, applying to me 
 for a place as apprentices. I did not need but 
 one to fill a vacancy, and it was decided that 
 the oldest should come. I soon learned by her 
 that she only wished to stay three or four weeks 
 and then set up the business for themselves. I 
 must say I was not a little surprised at this, and 
 concluded for that short period I could not 
 afford to be very particular in teaching her all 
 the trade. She informed me that her sister 
 would join with her; also that they had a leg- 
 acy, and they wished to put it to the best use 
 possible; and believing the millinery a business 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 179 
 
 by which they could more than double their 
 money within a short time, they concluded they 
 could not be too soon in availing themselves of 
 this golden opportunity. I told them their mis- 
 take ; that they would do better to put their 
 money out at interest than to invest it in mil- 
 linery i^oods and try to sell them in Bellevue to 
 double their capital; but they did not listen to 
 my selfish whim. They knew better than all 
 that; and very soon they had a host of choice, 
 costly goods put up in their shop window in a 
 style more befitting London than our small vil- 
 lage. Their management plainly showed their 
 lack of knowledge in the business, the need of 
 which they found when too late, and the fruits of 
 which were sure to send them back to their 
 own country without a penny at their journey's 
 end. 
 
 At the end of six months I visited them. As 
 I entered, I saw at a glance that their continu- 
 ance was that of troubled anxiety. After a 
 brief conversation of an indifferent character, I 
 inquired how they prospered in business. They 
 told me they had sold just enough to know that 
 one-fdurth of the money which they thought 
 could be made was not realized by them as yet, 
 and unless they could do better for six months 
 to come than they had done, they would give 
 
180 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 up the trade and willingly seek some other em- 
 ployment for their money and their hands; but 
 now the main part of their goods were yet on 
 the shelf, and they must dispose of them in 
 some shape. They told me they had no one to 
 blame but themselves for not falling in with my 
 advice in this matter. They had, in the short 
 period of six months, lost six hundred dollars. 
 
 Another year told the story. They lost all 
 except just enough to defray the expenses of 
 one of them to England. The other was soon 
 married and in domestic employment. Those 
 young ladies were handsome and pleasant, also 
 industrious, but did not understand finance in 
 America, and probably not in their own coun- 
 try, for they were young and inexperienced. 
 This is no wonder, for many who are older and 
 more experienced Americans do not keep clear 
 from difficulties of a far more serious nature 
 than the one I have just named. However, I 
 mention this as one of the events within my ex- 
 perience, not as anything uncommon or won- 
 derful ; but it perhaps might be a profit to those 
 who are about to take a step in any kind of 
 speculation, to " look before they leap." 
 
 At this time I was surprised also to find a 
 discontinuance in my own custom; money more 
 scarce, and people generally were talking about 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 181 
 
 hard times. State banks were failing; and 
 finally a regular money panic ensued, which 
 not at this time groundless. The caution 
 about trading was apparent. Clerks went to 
 sleep on the counter at all business places, or 
 else devotedly pressed into some entangled love 
 story. For some time I did not know how 
 things would turn out, knowing all who were 
 in business would suffer loss. My business was 
 in a shape which gave me trouble, although it 
 was not a great amount; but a few hundred dol- 
 lars \\as more than I was willing my creditors 
 should lose by me. They came to see me, but 
 it was not possible to pay them with the money 
 I had; and after trying to sell what I had to 
 raise the money, I also failed in that. I there- 
 fore wrote to them saying they could take the 
 goods at the price they charged me, and then 
 endorse the same on my note, which was satis- 
 factory to both parties. I felt relieved and 
 willing to owe less for goods, and do a small 
 business at such a time as this. 
 
CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 After the care and burden of having so much 
 on my hands had settled into a small compass, 
 which made it more in accordance with the de- 
 mand of this embarrassing time, and hard labor 
 was both capital and interest, I still had the 
 comfort of having my children, all except one, 
 near me. My oldest daughter was married, 
 and my oldest son was only five miles in the 
 country, with a rich old farmer, Captain Potter, 
 at which place he remained until the commence- 
 ment of the civil war, in 1861. My youngest 
 son remained with me, and found employment 
 in a steam lath mill, for which he received one 
 dollar per day. He was now thirteen years of 
 age, and his wages amounted to twenty-six dol- 
 lars per month. The gentleman for whom he 
 worked was Thomas Hays, a worthy citizen of 
 Bellevue. My daughter Elizabeth remained 
 with her sister Nellie for some time, after which 
 she returned to Ohio, and shortly after was 
 married. 
 
 The subject of Mormonism had not as yet 
 ever been mentioned to my/youngest children, 
 nor had I ever, under any circumstances, named 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 183 
 
 to them the sad event that I ever had any 
 knowledge of them. Those of my family who 
 were of an age to know something about it 
 were repeatedly cautioned in regard to reveal- 
 ing this secret to anyone. With much caution 
 I managed to keep this from the public, until 
 of late I have felt it my duty to let it be known, 
 that the public may beware of the leaders of 
 Salt Lake Mormons in particular. There are 
 some very good people among them I do not 
 deny; but the ground work is dangerous. By 
 experience I know what their principles were 
 before they left Illinois to go to Salt Lake; 
 these principles they took with them, and they 
 have been carried out, to all intents and pur- 
 poses. 1 know their schemes, and how they 
 make use of God's word to carry out their dark 
 designs and purposes. The Book of Mormon 
 is said to contain a history of old prophets who 
 came to this continent in an early age. Their 
 names were Nephi, Laman, Mormon, Lemuel, 
 Lehi and Sam. It appears by this Book of 
 Mormon that the Lord commanded those men 
 to build a boat and cross the big waters; and as 
 they were building the craft the Lord told them 
 how it should be built ; that there should be a 
 hold in the top thereof and a hold in the bot- 
 tom thereof, and the boat was to be round. 
 
184 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 This is the way they journeyed to this goodly 
 land, that flows with milk and honey. The 
 Mormons say that the Indians are descendants 
 of Laman, and Nephi was the son of Laman. 
 I think I am not mistaken, although it has been 
 a great many years since 1 saw the Book of 
 Mormon; however, I think I am correct. The 
 Indians are called Lamonites by all the Mor- 
 mons, and the white people who do not believe 
 in the Mormons are called Gentiles, or Pagans. 
 The Mormons believe firmly, too, that the La- 
 monites will tread down the Gentiles, for they 
 say the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it. 
 They also say that when they are of a suffi- 
 cient number they will help the Lamonites tread 
 down the wicked Pagans, or Gentiles. As their 
 numbers increase their hearts no doubt rejoice, 
 thinking of the time when victory shall be won. 
 Being numerous, and their number continually 
 increasing, they expect one day to overthrow 
 this republic. This has long since been in the 
 minds of the Latter Day Saints, and it is no 
 mistake of the writer. I have heard this talked 
 of and preached by the Saints and Elders of the 
 church, time after time. It is no wonder that 
 polygamy has been introduced among the Salt 
 Lake Mormons, pretending as they do that 
 they have a perfect right to serve God accord- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 185 
 
 ing to the dictates of their own conscience ; and 
 this is according to the constitution of our gov- 
 ernment. They pretend that this is a revela- 
 tion from God, and also a command of God; 
 and to increase their number they are not in 
 the least backward about obeying this com- 
 mand; also pretending that this is according to 
 the will of God and the laws of the land. Po- 
 lygamy was nut practiced until the Mormons 
 were driven out of Missouri, and their com- 
 pelled exodus from their possessions aroused in 
 them such indignation towards the government 
 that rebellion tilled every Mormon's heart. 
 But concerning the Lamonites treading down 
 the Gentiles, I often heard this spoken of: " For," 
 said they, "the Indians have been driven from 
 their homes and hunting grounds, and we have 
 shared the same; and the time will come, breth- 
 ren, when they will wade in blood up to their 
 horses bridles. We have petitioned to govern- 
 ment for redress, but they have refused to grant 
 our petition; we have suffered, brethren and 
 sisters, often suffered with cold and hunger, and 
 weariness; driven from our homes and quiet 
 firesides, we have been smitten, buffeted, des- 
 pised, tormented and hated; we wandered in 
 wet and cold, without shelter or friends, law or 
 justice; we have sought our own but it was de- 
 
!86 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 nied us. Heaven demands justice, but it is still 
 refused. May God hasten his work ; may judg- 
 ment follow our appressors." 
 
 This is what I have heard repeatedly from 
 the Mormon elders, while they were preaching 
 on the Sabbath day. It is not according to the 
 gospel of Christ, which says, " Whosoever shall 
 smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the 
 other also; and if any man will sue thee at the 
 law and take away thy coat, let him have thy 
 cloak also. Love your enemies ; bless them that 
 curse you; do good to them that hate you, and 
 pray for them that despitefully use you and per- 
 secute you; for he maketh the sun to shine on 
 the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on 
 the just and on the unjust." And still I have 
 something to say in favor of these people. One 
 thing is, they are industrious and frugal, and 
 very cleanly; cleanliness with the Mormons is 
 Christ-like. They preach this also from the 
 Book of Covenants. This book is also said to 
 be a revealed work of God, through Joseph 
 Smith, the Mormon prophet. The Book of 
 Commandments is likewise called a revelation 
 from God. The Book of Covenants and that 
 of Revelation*fe compose one book, although in 
 two volumes; and by those books the Mormon 
 church is governed. A committe is elected by 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 187 
 
 the church for the purpose of visiting each fam- 
 ily, in order to ascertain how their houses are 
 kept, and if any filth exists. When each house 
 is thoroughly searched, the committee orders 
 the tilth, if any is found, speedily removed; and 
 if it is not attended to before their next visit, 
 those members are reported to higher authori- 
 ties. Kvery house is visited each week by the 
 committee, and a thorough examination is made. 
 Door yards, in the summer time, are also ex- 
 amined, and all uncleanliness speedily eradicat- 
 ed and buried deep with fresh earth. This is 
 to arrest disease by timely antecedence. This 
 order is strictly kept up, whether in the city or 
 otherwise. In each ward is a committee ap- 
 pointed, and those rules are strictly and cau- 
 tiously adhered to. All clothing must likewise 
 be kept clean and sweet, and children are not 
 allowed to be seen in the street with uncombed 
 heads or unwashed faces. Their clothing also 
 must be made with taste and elegance, and kept 
 perfectly tidy. 
 
 The Mormons have two other books besides 
 the Book of Mormon, or in other words, as it is 
 sometimes called, the Mormon Bible ; the Words 
 of Wisdom and their hymn book. These con- 
 stitute the whole number of books by which 
 they worship and are governed. Their 
 
l88 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 children are baptized at the age of eight years. 
 Their form of baptism is immersion, and no 
 other way is allowed to be baptism. The rules 
 of the church prohibit eating meat except on 
 special occasions, namely: at a feast or social 
 gathering or a wedding, and then to eat very 
 sparing. At those amusements they are allow- 
 ed to have wine, but this must be of their own 
 manufacture, of the pure juice of the grape. 
 No coffee or tea is allowed to be usedj as they 
 are taught in the Word of Wisdom that hot 
 drinks are not good for man. But I must 
 change the subject for the present. 
 
 It was now a time to see sober faces ; all busi- 
 ness was suspended; almost every person who 
 was depending on day labor for their support 
 carried with them a sad countenance. Add to 
 this there was but little demand for the produc- 
 tion of manufacturers in many business houses ; 
 the winters were long and severe, and it seem- 
 ed impossible for poor people to subsist upon 
 the small pittance they received for a day's labor. 
 If even they were so lucky as to obtain a day's 
 work, how gratefully the sum of fifty cents a 
 day was received by the poor laborer. How- 
 ever, spring came at last, bringing with it, as it 
 always does, bright and fresh courage, and I 
 again resumed my accustomed occupation, the 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 189 
 
 straw millinery. I could by this keep clear 
 from debt and pay my expenses, although the 
 work was hard and difficult, which is always 
 the case in this business. I still kept the col- 
 
 i girl, and dismissed all the other help, ex- 
 cept now and then an assistant for a day or two. 
 Kctinishing was the orders of each day, as un- 
 customed would say money was too scare < 
 allow them to purchase new materials. My 
 pressing was accomplished by hand, as it would 
 not answer the purpose to press so many dif- 
 
 nt shapes with a pressing machine, which 
 was not adequate for this purpose; and as my 
 work was clone in the upper part of a drug- 
 store, I found it not only hard but inconvenient. 
 I therefore thought to make a little alteration in 
 the arrangement, which would be lessening the 
 trouble of doing my bleaching in rainy weather. 
 I knew of a room which had not been opened 
 or occupied since I came into the house, and for 
 years before probably, and on examination I 
 found the fastening only consisted of a nail put 
 in tightly over the latch, and with my scissors 
 I drew it out, and the door came open as if by 
 magic. I entered, and the odor nearly over- 
 came me; the atmosphere was stifling. This 
 owing to its having had no ventilation. In 
 one corner there was an old barrel, straw and 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 litter of every kind, an old pair of rusty tongs, 
 and a huge looking bench in the center. I was 
 thinking I would have Jane come and clean the 
 apartment at once. " But look here," said my 
 boy, who was examining the contents of the 
 barrel, " here is something tied up in a rag." 
 " Put that right down, I beseech you," said I as 
 we stepped to the door. It was a private room 
 for dissectieg dead bodies. This so frightened 
 my son that he ran to Jane exclaiming, "Jane, 
 Jane, there are ghosts in that room ! " I found 
 it impossible to pacify either my son or the 
 black girl. They declared they would not stay 
 in the house one night. I tried to get Jane to 
 promise to stay with me one night, but she said 
 she would not; and to use her own words, she 
 said: "Now Miss, mark my word, if ye stay 
 heah you'll suffer de consequence, now I tell 
 ye. I stay heah? no, no; I stay in no ghost 
 house; mebbe some dese dark nights you'll be 
 missin' in de mornin'. Now listen, Miss; dese 
 fellers jes lib bile ye up as look at ye, dat's 
 what's de mattah ; dey hab no princ'pl wat eber, 
 now I tell ye, Miss," and her countenance was 
 so earnestly expressive of her fear, that if I had 
 been sure her suggestions had been true, I 
 should have laughed heartily to see her expres- 
 sion. I told her we had not been molested and 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 191 
 
 there was no more danger now than there was 
 K- fore the room was opened. " Nonsense, Jane; 
 it is not worth thinking about." " Well, Miss," 
 she replied, "I tell ye dar was jes' much danga 
 afore de do was open, only we dono it afo; but 
 now lem me tell ye, if ye don git out ob dis 
 house somethin' will apeah som ob dese dark 
 nights, an' ye'll wish ye was dun gon in som 
 
 place, and mebbe dey'll kill ye rite oil'." 
 With much difficulty I prevailed on those 
 frightened creatures to remain with me one 
 night. We retired that night feeling quite com- 
 posed, to all appearance, and I felt comforted 
 when I heard from each bed a sound sleeping 
 breathing, which reminded me that all was well. 
 I too, soon forgot my trouble. This slumber 
 was not long enjoyed, however, for if half of 
 the house had broken down it could not have 
 made more racket than that which brought us 
 to our feet. The lamp was lighted by a trem- 
 bling hand, and my little boy and Jane were 
 almost breathless. The noise was in the back 
 hall. We could do no more than to go into the 
 millinery room, and after fastening each door 
 securely and turning down the lamp, we spent 
 the night talking and wondering what that 
 crashing noise could mean. The next day, 
 however, I noticed that the human bones in the 
 
i 9 2 LIFE AMONG THE MORMOttS. 
 
 barrel in the mysterious room had all disap- 
 peared. Here I will pause, and go back. The 
 noise we heard in the hall was remote from the 
 mysterious room, being entirely on the opposite 
 side of the building. My impression was that 
 some one had broken the door down in the hall, 
 which 1 had always kept bolted, as soon as dark, 
 and as we came out of our bed rooms I intend- 
 ed to unlock the inside hall door and see what 
 had happened. I bade my son to take some 
 kind of a weapon, a stick of wood or a flat- 
 iron, and when I opened the door he must throw 
 it with all his might ; the stick was in his hand, 
 upraised, and I unlocked the door, while the 
 white of Jane's eyes and half-opened mouth, 
 showed plainly of her wonderful terror; she 
 almost breathlessly begged me not to open the 
 door, for, said she, " you have opened one door, 
 and see what trouble it made." My hand was 
 on the door nob and my son stood ready to 
 throw, while Jane uttered those words. Finally 
 my courage failed, and I quickly locked the 
 door again, and spent the night in the millinery 
 department. But I hear some one say, " Yes, 
 that is just like a woman, they cannot rest a 
 moment without investigating; yes, every nook 
 and corner must be criticised, and thorough 
 work made in the examination, too." This 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 193 
 
 charge, I, for one, do not deny; and if luckily 
 there is one who does deny this, it is not a wo- 
 man; they inherit this disposition from Mother 
 Father Adam also had propensities, that 
 is, to lay all the blame to God and his wife 
 when he transgressed, saying, "The woman 
 whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me 
 of the tree and I did eat." That day I was left 
 alone, for before the setting of the sun both 
 Jane and my boy had deserted the premises of 
 the ghost department. 
 
 I was now left to myself to think over the 
 past, and wonder why something good could 
 never come into my life's pathway; some cheer- 
 ing ray to gild the rough landscape which now 
 lay stretched out before my saddened spirit. 
 After a little hasty walk, I prevailed on a maid- 
 en lady of my acquaintance to accompany me 
 for a short time until I could arrange my busi- 
 ness ditlerently, and change my situation; but 
 as Miss Linn was engaged to teach, she could 
 not agree to stay for any definite period, but 
 would gladly stay as long as circumstances 
 would allow; but as she could not be my com- 
 pany that present evening, I was obliged to 
 spend the night solitary and alone. It was in- 
 tensely warm weather; I consequently raised 
 the windows, and the paper curtains were 
 
 13 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 moved by the quiet breeze in such a manner as 
 to remind one of a person struggling for breath; 
 and it sounded so perfectly heinous to me that 
 sleep entirely left my eyelids, and I once more 
 rejoiced to see the dawn of another day. To 
 change my place of residence was now my 
 greatest desire, and to this purpose I directed 
 every faculty; and in this period I should have 
 the pleasure of Miss Linn's society, which now 
 I knew so well how to prize. " Then you are 
 surely going away? " she said, the morning she 
 entered my room. " Yes, I think of going," I 
 said, " but don't know how soon." " Pray tell 
 me," said she, " where you think of going." 
 " Well," I answered, " I have not mentioned 
 that to any but one, and that is my daughter." 
 "O, yes," she replied; "she must dread to part 
 with you." " Of course she does," I said; " but 
 what can a person do in such a place as this? 
 I depend on working at my trade for a living, 
 and if I can't get that to do, what can I do? 
 You know I am not able to work very hard, 
 and " - " Well," she interrupted me, " what 
 do you suppose Judge K. and Squire R. and 
 Lawyer G. will say if you leave here? " " O, 
 well, I shan't ask them," I replied, " to say any- 
 thing about it. And by the way, I see you are 
 in a jocular mood, and I am really glad to see 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 you feeling so well. O, how I wish I could feel 
 as happy and well myself. I hope, Lizzy, you 
 will always enjoy yourself and never see such 
 days and hours as I have." " But," said Miss 
 Linn, "you generally seem light-hearted; yet I 
 know the world does not seem always to go 
 right with one; yet at other times the silver 
 lining will make its appearance on the other 
 side of every dark cloud." M I Jut," said I, 
 " when trouble comes without the least provo- 
 cation on my part, it appears hard to become 
 resigned; more so than it does when I have 
 been in fault myself. This transitory silver 
 cloud lining which you are so kind as to speak 
 of, has sometimes given me comfort for a short 
 time, and then the dark cloud appears again." 
 
 it it is not a good th id Miss Linn, to 
 
 lay trouble to heart, but always look on the 
 bright side of the picture? " " Yes, your coun- 
 sel is good," I said, "but it is not always prac- 
 ticable. We can find silver spoons at the end 
 of the rainbow, too; but when we get to where 
 it appeared to be, it is just as far from you as 
 it was before, and so we are lured on from one 
 
 ement to another, never coming to the end 
 of the rainbow. Even riches do not satisfy the 
 cravings of the human heart. The desires of 
 the wealthy are not appeased, but they are for- 
 
! 9 6 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 ever grasping after bright objects in the future, 
 so as to add something more beautiful to their 
 treasury; add wealth to wealth, until their 
 barns and storehouses are too small to contain 
 their goods ; and then they are not prepared to 
 receive it. .So the things that are wanted can- 
 not be numbered." 
 
 CHAPTER XXVI. 
 
 The time had now arrived" when I intended 
 going to Nauvoo. So after spending a few 
 weeks at my daughter's, I bid farewell to the 
 loved ones to try my fortune, as I supposed, 
 among strangers. The house and lot which I 
 had bought several years before, I wished if 
 possible to make my home. I had not heard 
 anything in particular concerning the place 
 since I left there with my two children. I had 
 written to the recorder of deeds concerning my 
 property, but*could not learn that any deed had 
 been placed on record except my own. How- 
 ever, my lot, with a number of others, had been 
 vacated and thrown into an open field since the 
 
Lll-'K AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 197 
 
 Mormons left there, which had been fourteen 
 years since; but I could not learn whether the 
 buildings had been removed, or anything defi- 
 nite about it, only that no other deed had been 
 recorded. On reaching there, I soon found 
 that the place had gone out of my hands, and I 
 could not prevail on the one who had the tax- 
 title to give me the chance of redeeming it, al- 
 though he promised me something in the place 
 of it, but afterwards refused to let me have a 
 penny's worth of anything. This was a disap- 
 pointment which I did not look for, and still I 
 had no reason to look for anything else from 
 such a man. It is true I had friends that would 
 not see me suffer, and some who were once 
 Mormons had remained there. Joseph Smith's 
 wife was now an old lady, and was keeping a 
 hotel, and several others who had been Mor- 
 mons were now the old settlers of the place. I 
 stayed with an old acquaintance during the first 
 winter, and I must acknowledge I was not the 
 happiest person in the world, for every attempt 
 I made toward a living, or to bring about any 
 purpose in regard to my welfare or prosperity, 
 was sure to turn out a disappointment, and I 
 became discouraged. The place had, since the 
 Mormons left, been settled with a French com- 
 munity ; after which the Germans came in and 
 
198 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 bought them out, and at the time of which I 
 am writing there were but few French and 
 fewer Mormons left in the place. I considered 
 myself a stranger, without one whom I could 
 substitute for those I had left. It is true I could 
 see persons who once had been my acquaint- 
 ances ; but many years had made many changes 
 in them. 
 
 The matter of dress was not considered ex- 
 pedient, therefore I could not expect much work 
 in this line. My ambition, however, was not 
 that of being idle ; I was therefore prompted to 
 commence some kind of work. The landlady 
 of the mansion employed me to make a suit of 
 clothes for her son; this was the first, after be- 
 ing settled in a little quiet home I called my 
 own as long as I could pay the rent. But dark 
 shadows hung over my head with no flattering 
 interests, and all I had to encourage me was, I 
 knew I could do almost any kind of work, and 
 at a small price in this place, as people here 
 were not in fact able to pay much for work. In 
 this way I persevered for a number of months, 
 having not enough to eat to be in the least de- 
 gree half comfortable. My rent must be paid 
 at all events, and my firewood cost me some- 
 thing, too, before it was prepared to use. I 
 shall not go into the particulars of how much 
 
Lii-i: AMONG Tin-: uuitMoys. 199 
 
 embarrassment I endured at this period, but 
 will hasten onward to other events, one of 
 which is that of teaching a small school. As 
 soon as the district school was closed it was 
 now very warm, but as it was my fate to bear 
 the burden and heat of the day, I fell victim to 
 to this burden also however, under existing 
 circumstances I considered that I was some- 
 what favored in obtaining the school. My time 
 and attention being fully occupied, I tried to 
 make it enjoyable and pleasant. I had agreed 
 to teach sixty days, but my marriage broke 
 into this calculation; I only continued the school 
 
 weeks. 
 
 Now 1 had a home; but finding that my hus- 
 bands means, or income, was not as I had an- 
 ticipated, I in a short time began my accustomed 
 occupation, the millinery business. Although 
 he had dealt largely in merchandising in the 
 east, and had bought this beautiful residence in 
 this now quiet little city of Nauvoo, his income 
 was not what I had supposed it to be. Never- 
 theless, willing heart and hands are what we 
 need on such occasions, and I found myself pos- 
 sessed of both. Although my health or strength 
 were not equal to the accomplishing of so much 
 hard labor, yet I managed to the best advan- 
 : and feeling also that it would be humilia- 
 
200 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 ting to surrender for the want of strength to 
 accomplish and complete all in a respectable 
 manner, I doubled every faculty in order to 
 carry out my taste and purpose; and again, I 
 did not intend to be*superceded by any of my 
 neighbors in housekeeping or any other domes- 
 tic belongings. The work of millinery increased 
 so that in a year or two I found it difficult to 
 accommodate all who came with hats to recon- 
 struct. This branch of the business was by far 
 the hardest of any part, and I deemed it neces- 
 sary to only attempt to have just enough, so 
 that what was done should be neatly accom- 
 plished. My commendation depended upon the 
 neatness of the work; also, having no assistance 
 all was done by my own hands. On the first 
 fourth of July I received over forty-two dollars 
 in addition to what I had obtained for work the 
 three months previous. It was now plain to 
 me that the matter of dress was considered ex- 
 pedient, although it had been suggested to me 
 differently at the commencement. My hus- 
 band's two little girls now began to be a help 
 in many respects. They were both very pretty ; 
 and this was not all, they were very good 
 to me, which made me love them, although 
 they were not my own. I now began to appre- 
 ciate my expenses and hard labor about the 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 2 OI 
 
 place. It began to look more and more like 
 home, for many changes had been made and it 
 presented a different appearance. 
 
 1 do not remember the number of inhabitants 
 in Nauvoo at this time, but think it was about 
 two thousand. The Temple had, four years 
 previous to this been set on fire, and only one 
 corner of the front was now remaining, and 
 this was high, running up to a sharp point in 
 such a manner as to render it unsafe for passers 
 by. It originally was a large, spacious build- 
 ing in front, with large stone pillars and a 
 steeple or turret very large and high, on which 
 was engraved in large letters, " Holiness to the 
 Lord." These letters were overlaid with gold; 
 the year it was completed was also engraved 
 in gold figures. The windows of the upright 
 part were round, with painted glass, the colors 
 red, white and blu<>; and running back from this 
 was a part called the "Endowment room." 
 This was also very large and long, but not as 
 high as the other, with a flat roof and twenty- 
 four windows. These could be moved oft' as 
 desired, coming up to a point, with a ring in the 
 top. After the finishing of the Temple, which 
 was several years in building, it was very at- 
 tractive. The man's head, and a hand holding 
 a trumpet, were also a very great addition to 
 
202 LIFE AMONG THE MOEMONS. 
 
 the beauty of this magnificent structure. I vis- 
 ited this building with a number of other per- 
 sons of my acquaintance and strangers who 
 were almost constantly coming to see it and 
 the city. The workmanship of the building 
 was splendid. In the basement was a fountain 
 with an oblong baptismal basin sculptured out, 
 forming a complete baptismal fount, as it is 
 called by the Mormon church. On each side 
 of this basin of solid rock (this was large, and 
 the water was conveyed either way through 
 the bottom of the basin) there we e oxen of 
 white lime stone, very natural, and twelve in 
 number, all perfectly executed, so that the veins 
 in the ears and nose were plainly seen. The 
 horns were perfectly natural, with small wrin- 
 kles at the bottom. By these the fount was 
 supported, and only the heads and fore shoul- 
 ders were visible. We went into every part of 
 the temple except in the endowment room. We 
 were, however, on the top of that, and removed 
 some of the windows and looked in, as we did 
 not intend to leave the place until our curiosity 
 was perfectly satisfied. It is impossible to des- 
 cribe all we saw, cr to give a full description of 
 the building. It was built by poor people, un- 
 der the leadership of Joseph Smith, who said 
 he was directed by revelations from God. The 
 
LIFE AMONG Till-: MORMONS. 203 
 
 Mormon church at this period may well be said 
 to have been in its infancv; but at the time of 
 which I am writing it was in ruins, and the 
 Mormon church had nearly all emigrated four- 
 teen years ago, and built up another city at Salt 
 Lake. 
 
 In the year 1861 the civil war commenced, 
 and my oldest son enlisted in the First Iowa 
 cavalry. This news brought sadness to my 
 stricken heart; but remonstrance on my part 
 of no avail. He was mustered into service 
 in Davenport, after which he visited me at 
 Nauvoo, and then joined his regiment in St. 
 Louis. As they were stationed some time in 
 IJenton barracks I frequentlv received letters 
 from him, and awaited with dread the time thev 
 should be ordered away. That would be the 
 trying time with me. I acknowledge I was not 
 in this respect very full of patriotic zeal; yet I 
 felt this coming very near, for I had always de- 
 pended on him for my support in my old age; 
 and as things at this time presented rather an 
 uncertain cast, I looked upon my son's enlisting 
 in the army with feelings which I cannot des- 
 cribe. Golden fancies did not magnify realities 
 in my condition, and my only hope depended 
 on uncertainty; that is, if William should be 
 killed or anything should happen to disable 
 
204 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 him, I should not know where to look for my 
 maintenance, as for some time before his enlist- 
 ment my heakh had been failing, and at that 
 time I was unable to labor. My husband was 
 aged and knew but little about managing with 
 want or necessity. He never had labored for 
 his living. As his father was wealthy and 
 gave him a good start in the wholesale and re- 
 tail merchandise, he was not prepared for toil, 
 fatigue, hard labor or want. My youngest son 
 had now enlisted also, and informed me that he 
 would be transferred to the First Iowa light 
 dragoons on arriving at St. Louis, and then 
 they would serve in company L, under one 
 command in an independent company, that is, 
 being allowed to have their own horses. 
 
 There is One who knows the anguish of 
 mind I was enduring at this time, and He is the 
 only one who can know what thousands of mo- 
 thers endured at this awful period. Being in 
 constant expectation of the worst news that pos- 
 sibly could reach my hearing, I spent many long 
 dreary nights in prayer and weeping. I have 
 sometimes thought that if, in this life, we receive 
 all the good or ill, and never have any part in 
 any reward hereafter, how useless are our lives, 
 and how unwise is our existence; but having a 
 more sure promise, as the scripture says, " cast 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 205 
 
 not away, therefore, your confidence, which 
 hath great recompense of reward, for ye have 
 need of patience; that after ye have done the 
 will of God, ye may receive the promise" I 
 felt the need of patience at this trying time, and 
 also that I had a duty to perform. My hus- 
 band's son was a lunatic, and also was atllicted 
 with fits; and in a few years he became so 
 troublesome we sent him to Jacksonville Insane 
 I lospital. The sad burden was now removed, 
 for a time, and the fear and dread also. My 
 sons both came to visit me while on a furlough, 
 but when the farewells were said, that was a 
 time of weeping. My eldest daughter's hus- 
 band had also enlisted in the army, and his reg- 
 iment was ordered away to Pittsburgh Land- 
 ing. He was in an engagement soon after they 
 arrived at that place and was wounded and 
 brought up to Keokuk, Iowa, with a boat load 
 of wounded and sick soldiers. Every building 
 which could be converted into a hospital was 
 fitted up for the Iowa wounded soldiers, and 
 filled. Keokuk is only twelve miles from Nau- 
 voo, consequently we had an opportunity of 
 visiting the hospitals whenever we were in the 
 place. My son-in-law remained in the hospital 
 three or four months almost entirely helpless, 
 being wounded in the right hand, or wrist. 
 
206 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 The small slivers of bones were working out 
 daily, but he was considered highly favored, 
 that it was no worse; as hundreds were dying 
 daily in those hospitals, and it became a matter 
 of little importance when a death occurred. I 
 often received letters from my sons, and also 
 money ; and all through the war I was informed 
 of all the proceedings of the first Iowa brigade, 
 which was truly a great satisfaction. My 
 daughter, who then lived in Keokuk, was also 
 partaker with me in the hope that they would 
 soon return to us safe and sound. My niece, 
 who also lived in Keokuk, often visited me with 
 words of comfort. She was an esteemable 
 guest with us all indeed Miss Wood's visits 
 were looked forward to with great interest and 
 anxiety. Being of a lively, cheerful disposition, 
 her presence was a solace to every sorrow and 
 care. Her words were fitly spoken, bringing 
 life to a broken spirit. She seemed next to my 
 own, in my heart's affections; and ever has had 
 a place in my tender regards, as a faithful and 
 living friend. 
 
 It was now autumn ; the leaves on the trees 
 were changing their color for a more rich hue, 
 and the willows on the islands in the Missis- 
 sippi were a yellowish red, and so compact that 
 they resembled curling clouds at sunset; pre- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 207 
 
 senting a scenery most charming and beautiful. 
 It was one of those days which makes one feel 
 half joyful, half sad; and, forgetting one's self 
 for a time, and also being beguiled by the beau- 
 ties of nature, and forgetting (so to speak) even 
 their own existence, and yet in silent meditations 
 I thus wandered on, not knowing whither I 
 was bound. \Vhv was I left here to ^rope 
 my way through this world alone? Why was 
 my husband called away and I left here, 
 only to be disappointed and deeieved, and to 
 meet with all the difficulty which human crea- 
 tures are subject to or able to endure? I do 
 not wish to stay where storms are awaiting me; 
 no, I could not live always, and now on coming 
 to myself, I was nearing the river bank and a 
 short distance, a very short distance too, would 
 have landed me twenty feet down a steep bank 
 into deep water, (this bank had been washed 
 under, in high freshets, leaving the surface very 
 shallow, and the ground being sandy) I was at 
 this time in a somewhat dangerous situation, 
 and immediately turned my feet homeward to 
 think no more of the past. 
 
 After receiving my supply of fall goods I 
 commenced my usual business. My husband 
 bein<j well acquainted in that vicinity, assisted 
 me in obtaining work, and I soon had a full 
 
208 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 supply; therefore my whole attention was taken 
 up. The two little girls were adequate, for most 
 of the work about the house, and this was a 
 great relief. In again receiving letters from the 
 war department, I learned that, instead of my 
 sons coming home, they would be ordered 
 away to Texas, under command of General 
 Custer; that five Iowa regiments would be sent 
 there as soon as the veteran infantry were dis- 
 charged, as trouble was expected from Mexico. 
 This news called for more patience on my part, 
 but I found myself equal to this in a far greater 
 degree than I had hitherto been. A little more 
 and I should be as brave as any one could be. 
 During their stay in Texas, after they had 
 reached Galveston, I received letters from them 
 as often as they could reasonably be expected 
 to write; and I was iniormed of the transac- 
 tions in that department while they remained 
 there. In 1865, we were informed of President 
 Lincoln's assassination. However slow the 
 time appeared, the word came that the first 
 Iowa cavalry were to be mustered out of ser- 
 vice with several other regiments; and that was 
 welcome new 7 s to me as it was to many others. 
 My two sons and two sons-in-law reached 
 home, and only one of them wounded and 
 neither of them had been taken prisoners. 
 
CHAPTER XXVII. 
 
 Soon after the closing of the war my oldest 
 son rented a farm near Bellevue, after which 
 he was married and removed to Sonora, Illinois. 
 My youngest son remained near Bellevue for a 
 number of years. Having thus far been so for- 
 tunate in having my greatest desire answered, 
 I felt that if any one had reason to praise God 
 it was myself. "We will rejoice in thy salva- 
 tion, and in the name of our God we will set 
 up our banners. The Lord fulfil all thy peti- 
 tions." Psalms, 20: 5. 
 
 Soon after I retuaned from a visit to Bellevue 
 one of my neighbors inquired how I liked the 
 place. Bellevue is a place, I am fully prepared 
 to say, rather romantic in its appearance. Those 
 high bluffs present a fanciful appearance for 
 one thing; and again, the town is built in a place 
 prepared for that purpose, a tract of land which 
 is level running back from the river, forms a 
 half circle, and high bluffs on either side. Within 
 this half circle is a good mill site, formed en- 
 tirely by enormous springs. In the center of 
 this half circle there is an outlet, admitting of 
 a road into the country; and above and below, 
 
 14 
 
2io LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 on the river, are also roads leading into the 
 country. It is also favored in a commercial 
 view, first by water, second by railroad. I will 
 relate a little adventure which happened while 
 I was there at my son's. One fair, bright morn- 
 ing I started on a short walk. It was in the 
 spring of the year; the birds were making 
 joyous the air with resounding echoes of their 
 happy mates, and all nature was awakened. 
 Beauties were lavishly meted out in every di- 
 rection, to amuse and stimulate us to action. 
 My son had two hours before gone to his farm, 
 and I concluded a little excursion around the 
 bluffs to his place would be exhilarating. The 
 distance was over a mile. I tripped on and en- 
 joyed the morning walk very much as I hurried 
 through the forest, and heard the woodland ring 
 with the singing of beautiful feathered song- 
 sters. I now came to the farm, and after I had 
 seen it and the prospects of farming, I was 
 ready to bend steps homeward. My son di- 
 rected a nearer route ; I should go a little way 
 up the bluff and I would find a foot path leading 
 around it at the left. I commenced climbing. 
 At first it was not very steep, and I expected 
 soon to come to the path, but I found it was 
 impossible. Being determined not to give up, 
 I kept climbing until my feet was far above the 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 2 II 
 
 tops of the highest trees, which grew highest 
 on the blurt*. It was now very steep and hard, 
 so that nothing would grow, not a bush or 
 shrub of any description to hold on to; and 
 there was no such thing as turning to go down, 
 I kept on. If I had made any attempt to go 
 clown I should have fallen at least seventy feet 
 before I could have been stopped by any tree 
 or shrub, so my course was onward and up- 
 ward. I had now got so high that I dared not 
 look back, neither could I look to the right or 
 left, and the little round stones were all I had 
 to hold myself to the bluff; and sometimes these 
 would come loose either in one hand or the 
 other, and also under my feet. But now anoth- 
 er obstacle came in my way; that was a ledge 
 of rock. This parapet I considered impossible 
 to surmount, but my only way was to try. The 
 ground was so steep and slanting under my 
 feet that I could not hang on only with my 
 hands. There was no foothold in the rock, it 
 being perfectly tfhiooth all the way up. I knew 
 a mighty struggle must be made, very soon, 
 too; my strength began to fail, and I felt faint 
 and sick. But suddenly my resolution returned ; 
 I prayed to God for strength and courage, for 
 it was life or death; and this was quickly de- 
 cided. I placed my hands firmly on the rock 
 
212 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 and pulled with a determination, and succeeded 
 in pulling myself up, and then crawled on my 
 hands and knees until I reached the top. I 
 then sat down upon the brink of that horrible 
 precipice, completely bewildered. My head 
 swam, and for a time I was unconscious ; but 
 when I recovered I did not rise to my feet, for 
 I was too near the brink, and my head was by 
 no means regulated. It is still a mystery how 
 I reached home. When my son came I was 
 surprised to know it was noon, and my late ad- 
 venture seemed like a dream, although it was a 
 reality. My son declared, much as he needed 
 money, he could not have been hired to go 
 where I did for fifty dollars. " Only think," 
 said he, " a woman of your age going where a 
 strong man would not think of going for any 
 small amount of money." " Well, say no more 
 about it," said I; "I shall not try that over 
 again." 
 
 I have often looked with admiration on those 
 high bluffs along the Mississippi river; with 
 feelings of great delight have I watched the 
 birds flying around them where no man can 
 climb. What a lovely place to build their nests 
 and hatch their young. But now I can truly 
 say they have no charms for me ; I never could 
 look upon a bluff again without a shudder. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 213 
 
 I was now brought down again with illness. 
 The fever, which had many times in my life 
 brought me near the grave, had again come in 
 a time when I was little prepared to meet its 
 demands, and continued for some time. My 
 husband's youngest daughter had gone to a 
 hi^h school in Ohio, and the oldest was married, 
 and now we were alone; and as main things 
 depended on my aid, it was a hard thing to sur- 
 mount every difficulty. I had never heard from 
 my friends in Salt Lake, except by a man from 
 there who visited one of our neighbors. lie 
 informed me all he knew about them. How- 
 jever, his call had long since been forgotten 
 when I received a letter from my first husband's 
 The letter read as follows: 
 
 "SALT LAKE CITY, April 3, 1870. 
 
 "DEAR AUNT: We happened to hear 
 about you, by one of our Mormon missiona 
 calling at your town, by the name of Lewis 
 Robinson. Since he returned to Salt Lakr, I 
 have not seen him myself, so have not heard 
 any particulars. He says you are keeping a 
 millinery shop and doing well; that your child- 
 ren are all married. My children are all grown, 
 but I don't think they ever will marry here. 
 1'iule Men eame out here about two years ago, 
 He is very mm h dissatisfied with this pi. 
 
2I 4 
 
 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 and talks of going back this summer. I should 
 like to ask you a few questions about Mormon- 
 ism there. Is it anything like it used to be in 
 Joseph's day, or is it all a humbug like it is 
 here? We hear strange stories. Mormonism 
 out here is divided into several classes: the 
 Brighamites, and the Godbeites, and the Joseph- 
 ites, and it puts one to their wits end to know 
 which is right. We have been so terribly hum- 
 bugged by Brigham, that I shall not be in any 
 hurry to join another. There is a great com- 
 motion about the Cullens bill here. The women 
 held a mass-meeting and passed resolutions, 
 some of which would have made you laugh, 
 should you have seen them. Then the men 
 thought they would throw the women's calcu- 
 lations into the shade, and held another; but I 
 think they will have their labor for their pains. 
 We all want to go back there to settle, if its any 
 healthier there than it used to be. Aunt will 
 go back this spring if she can get her money. 
 When you write, direct to Salt Lake City, 
 Utah Territory. Respectfully, 
 
 " HORTENTIA HARTWELL." 
 
 My answer was as follows: 
 
 "DEAR NIECE: I was happy to hear once 
 more from you and yours, and happy to hear, 
 by your most esteemed letter, the fact that you 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 215 
 
 are convinced of the prodigality of Mormonism, 
 and have come to the conclusion that it is all a 
 humbug, and are now willing to return to a 
 land of law, morality and the bible. I think the 
 Mormons have all paid dear for the husks they 
 have eaten, and have learned a lesson they 
 never will forget. For my own part, I am 
 thankful I was not one of the number who went 
 to Salt Lake. Polygamy is one of the greatest 
 curses that ever spit its poisonous venom into 
 the hearts of any civilized community, doin^; a 
 wrong which cannot be recalled; and I doubt 
 if it can be ever pardoned. I am heartily sorry 
 your parents were ever so zealous in a faith 
 which has no foundation, but a quicksand muck, 
 into which, if you step your foot, you sink 
 deeper and deeper; and there is one thing 
 which rejoices me, that is, that you have not 
 been allured away into that horrible pit and 
 mire, the measure of its depth no one knows, 
 and the cast of its blackness is enough to startle 
 any soul that ever had one thought of purity. 
 Innocence is the happiness of the soul; once 
 forfeited and lost, it will leave us forever and 
 no repentance can recall it. 
 
 " Dear niece, I have spoken plain, but it is 
 the truth, and I must tell you what I believe to 
 be true, or not say anything in regard to it; 
 
2i6 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 and as you have requested me to tell you how 
 it is here, I have done so, freely and plainly. I 
 must close. Hoping to hear from you again 
 soon, I still remain your affectionate aunt, 
 
 "E. M. S." 
 
 This was the first and the only news I have 
 ever received direct from Salt Lake ; however, 
 I have often heard from there, but it was in- 
 direct, and in the common news. My sister's 
 little boy, who was left in my charge in Mis- 
 souri, (after his mother's death) is now in Salt 
 Lake and holds a high position. This vile doc- 
 trine has separated families and friends far 
 apart, both in united relationship as well as in 
 distance. It has destroyed the peace of happy, 
 inoffensive neighborhoods, and seduced many a 
 virtuous and respectable woman into vices from 
 which there is no redemption. 
 
CHAPTER XXVIII. 
 
 It was now getting late for millinery work to 
 be called for; every one seemed to be supplied 
 for the summer. I had accomplished a ^i\ -at 
 deal of hard work at the straw ivtinishin^ dur- 
 ing the hot weather. This kind of work must 
 be done with speed and neatly executed, in or- 
 der to make it a paying enterprise. It is also 
 necessary that every part of it should be done 
 so that it will bear the criticism of a skillful 
 workman, and there is no other way to do this, 
 in order to give satisfaction to your patrons and 
 peace to one's self as when it is so respectably 
 done that it commands silence on the part of the 
 employer. However, as I have said before, my 
 work was about done for the summer, and I 
 was prepared to let the last jobs go whenever 
 they were called for. 
 
 Just then I received a note from an old ac- 
 quaintance, formerly from Espyville, Penn., re- 
 questing me to make her a visit at Fort Madi- 
 son. This was a surprise, that one of my old 
 classmates should be so near and yet so remote 
 in mv imagination. I could not treat her with 
 indifference, that never would answer; and I 
 
2i8 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 soon made myself happy in her presence. This 
 Mrs. Allen was a daughter of Mr. and Mrs. 
 Espy, of Espyville, with whom I boarded in 
 that place, and a good time was enjoyed by us. 
 It had been a long separation, and the changes 
 had been many both with Mrs. Allen and my- 
 self. Thomas Espy was practicing law in Fort 
 Madison (this was a brother to the lady before 
 mentioned). " We came out here," she said, 
 "in '51; -my husband bought a farm and paid 
 one thousand dollars down, and agreed to pay 
 the balance within the term of five years at 
 least so the notes ran but within one year he 
 was taken ill and died. It is seven years now, 
 and nothing is paid yet; however, it is in my 
 brother's care, but how it will turn I know not." 
 " Well," said I, "it is in good hands, Mrs. Allen; 
 your brother is a good man, he will do the fair 
 thing by you and secure your land; and he is a 
 successful lawyer, therefore you have nothing 
 to fear in regard to this." 
 
 I now began to think about returning home ; 
 but Mrs. Allen would not listen to this. " We 
 will visit the state's prison," she said, " and that 
 will be something new. We will attend service 
 at six o'clock Sabbath morning, and then we 
 will see the convicts marched out. It will be 
 splendid, indeed." " Yes," I replied, " I should 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 219 
 
 be highly delighted to see them; I presume they 
 are attended with good people." The best of 
 associates is the company they keep, and no 
 other. Their beautiful striped suits, too; how 
 
 miing. We attended the early services and 
 saw eighty convicts marched into the large 
 dining room, which was prepared for the pur- 
 pose of holding the meeting. An excellent 
 
 non was preached, and some of the prison- 
 
 ioined in singing, and many of those unfor- 
 tunate creatures showed deep emotion. The 
 words of the text \v< cted by one of the 
 
 oners. After services they were marched 
 into their dark prison cells and the heavy jron 
 doors were shut with a jarring, screeching n< 
 and the door was locked. " Now who knows 
 but some of those poor prisoners are really - 
 
 ome no doubt are as clear from crime as 
 those who visit those cells and are at liberty to 
 go where they please," thought I. "'Tis not 
 all who escape punishment that are deserving of 
 liberty; and it is not all who are confined in 
 prison cells who are not deserving liberty. And 
 who knows but some of those are Christians, 
 being confined and yet approved of God; and 
 having a conscience void of offence toward God 
 and man, they can rejoice that they are counted 
 worthy to sutler for Christ's sake, knowing also 
 
220 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 that nothing can separate them from the love 
 of God." " Shall tribulation, or distress, or 
 persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, 
 or sword, as it is written, for Thy sake we are 
 killed all the daylong; we are counted as sheep 
 for the slaughter." " Nay, in all these things 
 we are more than conquerors through Him that 
 loved us ; for I am persuaded that neither death 
 nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor pow- 
 ers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor 
 hight, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall 
 be able to separate us from the love of God, 
 which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord." 
 
 The next morning was clear and pleasant, 
 and my mind was homeward; yet Mrs. Allen 
 insisted on my remaining until we visited her 
 brother, which I agreed to do that afternoon 
 providing she would not detain me another day. 
 This she agreed to. The visit being accom- 
 plished with much satisfaction and enjoyment, 
 the following morning I took the train for 
 home. 
 
CHAPTER XXIX. 
 
 The summer grew warmer as the season ad- 
 vanced. Nothing of importance happened ex- 
 cept the usual routine of summer life. The 
 heat of the summer had now got to a great 
 pitch; I never witnessed more intensity of 
 heat since my remembrance, and I was seized 
 a^ain with fever. This was not an uncommon 
 urrence. This malady by which my father 
 had several years before fallen a victim, was 
 now preying upon my already wasted constitu- 
 tion, and for the next four months I knew but 
 little of what passed. When I recovered I 
 found it necessary to work in Fort Madison for 
 at least one season of the millinery work, for 
 reasons which I shall not name at present. 
 Having become settled in a convenient place, 
 and also having the assurance of having a full 
 stock of millinery goods (which was according 
 to agreement), to be supplied by one Mr. F. and 
 his wife. The lady wished to learn the business 
 of millinery, and agreed to furnish all the goods 
 and give me half the profits for my work. This 
 proved a failure, and non-performance of the 
 agreement, and as fictitious as the initial of his 
 
222 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 name. However, I had agreed to take the 
 house for a certain period, and expected to do 
 as I agreed. But the only way which was sure, 
 I could depend on myslef if all others failed. 
 There was one thing I felt sure of, and that was 
 a living, if no more ; that was by hard work at 
 the straw millinery. 
 
 I received a call one morning as I entered my 
 shop; it was a young lady who wanted a situa- 
 tion with a milliner. She had worked at bleach- 
 ing, and coloring and pressing; she also said 
 she had goods and would bring them. This 
 was what I so much needed, a good strong per- 
 son to press hats, but I did not know as I could 
 depend on her, I had been taken in so many 
 times (she being a stranger) that now I did not 
 know who to believe. This lady lived In Illi- 
 nois, just over the river. I did not give her a 
 decided answer, and she came to see me again 
 the next week. I was at this time crowded 
 with work, and must have help immediately; 
 consequently I told her to come the next morn- 
 ing. When she came I did not notice any mil- 
 linery goods ; so this being a matter that did 
 not concern me directly, I opened not my mouth 
 until the next day or two; I then asked her if 
 she brought any goods, or did she expect her 
 goods sent to her on the ferry boat? " O, I 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 223 
 
 have them with me," she said; and putting her 
 hand in her pocket she took out a small parcel, 
 and undoing it, " Yes, here is pretty near a 
 vard of silk illusion and a little wire," she 
 whined. "But where are your goods?" I 
 asked, quietly, and at the same time feeling a 
 little disgusted at her littleness. " This is all I 
 have," she whined again. I almost fainted with 
 sheer surprise. " You don't pretend to say 
 that is millinery goods, do you? " " To be sure 
 I do," she replied; ain't this millinery goods? " 
 slu* said, holding up the strip of silk illusion. 
 " I must confess I am surprised," I said, "but 
 iH'viT mind, we will proceed with our work and 
 let that go." 
 
 In a few days I received another call. A 
 young lady wished a situation to learn bleach- 
 ing, coloring and pressing hats, for which I 
 should receive certain benefits. This proposal 
 was agreed to, and she gave me ten dollars to 
 sral the contract. The next week she came 
 and told me she only wanted to stay one month ; 
 she would pay me for her board, and said she 
 could learn in one month. I noticed a great 
 difference in those two girls. One was stubborn 
 and unyielding, morose and disagreeable, while 
 the other showed a mild, pleasant, obliging dis- 
 position. One would judge them both very 
 
224 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 amiable, good dispositions, and worthy to be 
 loved ; but alas, the deception practiced by some 
 no tongue can tell. Now as the month had 
 passed, and my best girl had left me, well 
 pleased and wholly satisfied that her time and 
 money had been put to good use, Mary and I 
 were left to argue and contend about this work 
 not being done as it should be, or that lady was 
 hard to please, or something of the kind. I 
 many times thought they were easy to please 
 if they would take the work she pronounced 
 good. For my own part I should not accept it 
 if it had been for me; however, I thought she 
 would never have another opportunity of hurt- 
 ing my custom, and I rejoiced when she left my 
 shop. 
 
 I still kept the place, and only visited my 
 friends occasionally, for the reason that I could 
 live there without having more to do than I was 
 able to perform, on account of my ill health. I 
 received a letter from my daughter, who lived 
 in Kansas, requesting me to come to her; but 
 the journey was long, it seemed like a long way 
 to go, for me, at least, and I could not harbor 
 the thought for a moment. My oldest son still 
 lived in Sonora, Illinois, thirteen miles down the 
 river below Fort Madison. The fall months 
 were pleasant, the air mellow and fragrant with 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 22$ 
 
 ripe fruit and autumn leaves. Nature itself 
 had exhausted its powers and was now at rest; 
 and the birds, after having a good supply out 
 of God's full storehouse, could cease their war- 
 bling and fold their wings, and with their heads 
 under their wings could rest without a thought 
 or a care <>f to-morrow. The weather became 
 a little more bracing and invigorating; the 
 nights were cool and healthful, and poor weary 
 mortals could find sweet repose when daily toil 
 was done. At twilight, when the busy hours 
 were over, and the hum of the work in the city 
 was ended, this was a good time for silent med- 
 itation. I could then think over the past, and 
 wonder at the goodness administered to me; 
 that my life had been spared through so many 
 clangers and my mind had still retained its rea- 
 son. This has been a wonder many times, 
 and is still a token of the unspeakable goodness 
 of God. O, God, be thou my strong habitation 
 whereunto I may continually resort. Thou hast 
 n commandment to save me, for Thou art 
 my rock and my fortress. 
 
 15 
 
CHAPTER XXX. 
 
 Toward the last of December I fancied a 
 visit to my son's would be quite pleasant, as the 
 loneliness of my situation demanded something 
 to cheer me. The distance, I imagined was 
 not so far that I could not by any means what- 
 ever see him, and it was not impossible but I 
 could get there. If I should start, probably af- 
 ter crossing the river I should fall in with a 
 team passing that way; but after crossing the 
 river I was disappointed not to see a ready op- 
 portunity, and walked on. The snow had be- 
 gan to melt fast, for the sun had taken a deep 
 hold of the roads, and the water had already 
 began to run in streams, which were over my 
 rubbers. The river was one mile wide, and to 
 return home would be to lose my journey thus 
 far, and I continued on my way, but not rejoic- 
 ing. At last a team came in sight; it was load- 
 ed with wood, and my chance for a convenient 
 place to ride was rather slim. However, I made 
 the best of a bad bargain, and for some time 
 got along very well, until the going became so 
 horrid it was not safe to go any farther, and I 
 walked to Nauvoo that day. The next morn- 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 227 
 
 ing I labored hard to get to my son's, the dis- 
 tance being four miles. I could have walked 
 that with less difficulty had it not been for my 
 trip the day before. My son was not a little 
 surprised to see me, and wondered at my un- 
 dertaking such a trip. I told him he need not 
 be in the least surprised, for this was a day of 
 wonders and no one need be surprised at any 
 occurrences whatever. The next morning the 
 sun shone out bright and warm, reminding me 
 of the danger in crossing over to Fort Madison 
 again, which I intended to do. The next day 
 the wind changed, blowing from the north. It 
 had fro/en considerable during the night, and 
 on arriving at Fort Madison crossing, we were 
 told it was not safe for teams on the ice, and 
 they doubted its being safe for one person to 
 cross alone, as the river was rising very fast, 
 and a part of the old ice had sunk, and the only 
 chance of getting over would be on the thin 
 scale which had frozen since the wind changed 
 to the north. I do not know the thickness of 
 the ice; however, I* ventured to go alone, but 
 had not proceeded over three or four rods be- 
 fore the ice began to sink and I stepped lightly 
 back to the shore. Just then I observed two 
 men coming down to the river. They beckon- 
 ed me to come that way and I immediately 
 
228 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 went to them. " I expected to see you break 
 through the ice," said one, and continued, " now 
 if you will follow me, I think I can pilot you 
 over." "You are very kind," said I; "but 
 probably when we reach the second island I 
 will be safe to try getting over alone." " I do 
 not know how that is," said my friend, " we 
 can tell better when we get there." We hur- 
 ried on until we came to the first island: the ice 
 sank a little every step, and as we advanced it 
 became worse and more dangerous ; the old ice 
 had sunk just enough to allow the current 
 through between the old and the new ice, and 
 this caused a kind of groaning, melancholy 
 sound, and as near as I can conceive the noise 
 resembled unhappy spi: its in torment. We 
 came to a broken place; it was the steamboat 
 channel, and this was fathomless. The water 
 was pouring, foaming, and dashing through this 
 channel with such fury, and a groaning noise, 
 that I thought and said it was impossible to get 
 over; still my friend told me 'twas not safe to 
 stand one minute on the ice; we had nothing to 
 help ourselves, neither rope nor pole, and de- 
 pended entirely on Providence. In much less 
 time than it takes to tell this, my escort had 
 leaped over and reached me his hand. I could 
 not get a very firm grasp, the distance was so 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 229 
 
 far, but gave a desperate spring and my feet 
 just cleared the edge of the ice. Thinking this 
 was the only place we would have to cross, we 
 hurried on to the second island. The going was 
 more difficult owing to the sharp, freezing cold 
 wind, and a light snow. This made it very 
 slipperv w, liking as well as the momentary clan- 
 <>f falling through the ice. After crossing 
 the second island just at the edge of the land, 
 there was another broken place, worse than the 
 first; and now what way to manage to cross? 
 This was perfectly awful. The cold wind had 
 so chilled me, I was thinking I should not be 
 able to hold out much longer at the best ; how- 
 ever, twenty minutes would decide the case; it 
 would be either life or death. My companion 
 leaped over and reached me his hand. At first 
 I could not get anywhere near touching his 
 hand, but coming as close to the edge as I pos- 
 sibly could, and reaching as far as I could, he 
 pulled mt> over this horrible place also. I was 
 very thankful that we had thus far escaped the 
 clanger. We passed on without knowing what 
 clanger awaited us before reaching the opposite 
 side of the river. We now were half way over, 
 and the most dangerous part was before us; 
 this was the main body of the river. The cur- 
 rent was washing under the thin scale of glassy 
 
230 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 ice, and as we passed along the rocking, teter- 
 ing road, and heard the water gurgling and 
 groaning just under our feet, it made me shud- 
 der to think of the danger which lay in our 
 path, and from which there was no escape. 
 However, we were within hailing distance of 
 Fort Madison, and as we came nearer we came 
 to another broken place, but this was soon rem- 
 edied. Those on shore ran with a plank, and 
 I was safe! 
 
 The remaining part of winter passed pleas- 
 antly, and beautiful spring appeared, dressed in 
 green, smiling at the singing of birds and the 
 thought of the rose wreathed-mantle which 
 Dame Nature was weaving for her graceful 
 shoulders. I have often thought, while gazing 
 upon those beautiful wild rose wreaths, climb- 
 ing along the thick shelving green lamina- 
 like groves, or wild woodland, and presenting 
 an appearance which reminds one of sweet 
 Heaven where roses are without thorns, and 
 have often thought I should see them depicted 
 in that happy abode, which is prepared for those 
 who are faithful. 
 
 The summer was magnificent which invites 
 the human family to come forth, to inhale the 
 life-giving atmosphere. This was a luxury of 
 which many availed themselves, and the appre- 
 
LII-'K AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 231 
 
 elation of the splendid summer was shown by 
 the numerous representatives. In every direc- 
 tion men, women and children were seen stroll- 
 ing along the river bank, or sailing in boats, or 
 wandering in meadows, or green pastures, or in 
 gardens or bowers; all seemed to love the fresh, 
 bracing, invigorating, loving atmosphere. My 
 time had been vigorous ;pied during the 
 
 summer months, with my usual avocation. It 
 was now September, and as 1 promised myself 
 a visit to Kansas this pleasant fall, preparations 
 were made accordingly. In October I made 
 this promise good. Arriving at Atchison I was 
 surprised to see so large a city, and, as we 
 passed along, the farms and all improvements 
 showed thrift and enterprise. Two cl; 
 travel brought me to Burlingame, Osage county 
 and at the conclusion of my journey, the country 
 presented a pleasing view. The rolling prairie, 
 the clear and living brooks, the groves of wild 
 plums and forest trees interspersed, dotting the 
 land with nature's own bowery; the lowing of 
 fat cattle, having a bountiful supply of free 
 range, wallowing in luxurious abundance; this, 
 with many other benefits by no means trifling, 
 surrounded and filled the state of Kansas. 
 
 I was now at my daughter's, and surrounded 
 with smiling faces and cheerful hearts and 
 
232 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 hands. Sarah and William Montgomery were 
 the owners of a farm five miles from Burlin- 
 game. The prospect around them looked 
 favorable in many respects. My son-in-law had 
 settled there soon after the war, and had strug- 
 gled hard to make a beginning, and w r hich had 
 succeeded; and now the prospect was a well to 
 do future. At this period, the roads were 
 thronged with emigrants. The first winter the 
 house was filled with movers who could get no 
 further on account of the cold and snow; and 
 sometimes would remain two weeks or more. 
 Mr. Montgomery was a man who never could 
 say " no," or " I don't know ; " he always said 
 "yes, stay and welcome, as long as you can make 
 yourselves comfortable." I thought sometimes 
 they put too long a meaning to his words, and 
 stayed longer than any of us could be comfort- 
 able; for the noise of children completely 
 drowned every word spoken in the house; and 
 it appeared to me I should soon be a fit subject 
 for the insane asylum. "It is a satisfaction, 
 notwithstanding, to know that the winter will 
 not continue long," I said to my daughter as the 
 house became clear from emigrants. "Yes, 
 but it will last two or three months longer," 
 said Sarah, "they have commenced coming 
 early, they all seem to know where they can 
 
LIFE AMONG THK 
 
 233 
 
 stop, and stay, too. Hundred and Ten Creek 
 seems to be known by all who come this way; 
 what a bother!" 
 
 Spring at last came, the snow and ice disap- 
 peared, and the green grass was spread over 
 the vast rolling prairie. I think of all seasons 
 of the year, springtime is the most exhilarating. 
 I love the spring for its flowers and birds, its 
 en herbage, its fresh soft air; for its season 
 to work, for business of all kinds, for stir and 
 enterprise in labor both domestic and mental. 
 As the season advanced emigration became 
 abundant, long strings of covered wagons could 
 be seen as far as the eye could reach. Some 
 of the emigrants we found, as they camped at 
 I lundred and Ten Creek, were in want of pro- 
 visions, while others were abundantly supplied 
 with all things* necessary for they journey. 
 This travel was continued until the grasshopper 
 famine which brought much suffering. The 
 travel was then discontinued and almost all 
 business suspended. 
 
 At this period I was engaged in a millinery 
 room in the village of Burlingame, but the 
 famine plainly indicated to me what my pros- 
 pect would be in the future. The relief com- 
 mittee distributed aid among that class of suf- 
 ferers who bad families of children. Farmers 
 
234 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 who but a few days ago had proudly examined 
 their bountiful fields and returned with faces 
 beaming with delight, thrift, and a gladsome 
 harvest in their imagination, now walked out 
 only to see the destroyer's handiwork accom- 
 plished in one day's time, and returned with 
 arms folded, and on their countenances was the 
 picture of starvation. The change was won- 
 derful. It was now apparent that a change 
 must ensue with me. In my circumstances 
 I could not remain where people were not 
 able to furnish sufficient patronage for my 
 support. Some farmers were profane in their 
 expressions concerning the grasshoppers ; others 
 seemed more thoughtful. Some were leaving 
 their farms and going to their friends in the 
 east; that, however, was not a general thing, as 
 but few could leave all. "The scourge grows 
 worse every year," said one man to his niegh- 
 bor. "The ground is full of grasshopper eggs 
 and there's no getting rid of them." " My 
 friend, said the other, " did you ever read what 
 Christ said? 'ask, and ye shall receive; seek 
 and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened 
 unto you.' Now, I think if we turn our atten- 
 tion to God, and give more heed to the welfare 
 of our souls, and not care so much about the 
 things of this life, it would be better for us. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 235 
 
 God designs that we shall trust in Him and 
 look to Him for our daily bread; and after we 
 have done all we can and continue to do all in 
 our power to His honor and glory and feel re- 
 ed to His dealings toward us, we will find 
 He is not slack concerning His promises." 
 " Yes," said the first, " I know all about that. 
 I thought once I was a Christian; but since I 
 came to Kansas, somehow or other, things 
 have gone against me; and I know I have not 
 felt as thankful as I used to feel for His favors. 
 In fact, I have thought but little about it. I 
 came out here for the purpose of getting some- 
 thing ahead, but I have come to nothing now." 
 M Yes, I see how it is," said the other, "'he that 
 seeks to save his life, shall loose it; and he that 
 seeks to loose his life, for My sake, shall find 
 it.' The cares of this life choke the good seed 
 that was sown in our hearts, and bring no fruit 
 to perfection ; so it's no w r onder the fruit of our 
 fields are cut off and our prospects are barren 
 also. When I read what great and mighty 
 works have been done through prayer and faith 
 toward God, 'by faith kingdoms have been 
 subdued, righteousness wrought, promises ob- 
 tained, the mouths of lions stopped, the violence 
 of fire quenched, the edge of the sword escaped ; 
 and out of weakness men have been made 
 
236 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 strong, and waxed valiant in fight, turning to 
 flight the armies of the aliens, all of these" things 
 have deen done through faith,' I am ashamed 
 of myself as a professor of Christianity." "So 
 am I," said the other, "and hope for the future 
 to live more as God designed. I see now that 
 I have missed a great deal of good. Let me 
 live (hereafter) the life of the righteous, that my 
 last days may be like theirs; and those little 
 hinderances, let us pass them by, for the scrip- 
 ture tells us that if we endure chastisement, 
 * God dealeth with us as with sons; for what son 
 is he whom the father chastiseth not, for if ye 
 be without chastisement, then are ye bastards 
 and not sons.' ' ! 
 
 I many times saw what I never expected to 
 see that is want of something to eat, and 
 no possible way of getting one mouthful. Yet 
 I considered myself better off than many oth- 
 ers. I made no application for help, knowing 
 there were others who needed all they could 
 get to keep their little ones from starvation. In 
 the month of November I bid my children in 
 Kansas farewell. Mrs. Friend, the pastor's 
 wife, and Mrs. Judge Billings, accompanied me 
 to the depot; they also bestowed many little 
 comforts necessary for my journey. The train 
 came, and I left their smiling faces to meet again 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 237 
 
 where the parting kiss will never be on our 
 lips, and "good bye" will never be repeated. 
 I was now leaving the associations which 
 twined around my heart my children, my 
 Christian friends and the church. The scenes 
 were diilbrent and changeable, although it 
 otlered time for meditation. I also found that 
 many were leaving Kansas on account of the 
 -shopper famine. The first night on the 
 road I observed a lady dressed in deep mourn- 
 ing, who had four little children; and thinking 
 she had probably just lost her husband, and her 
 being next to mine, I inquired if her home 
 was in Kansas. "No, I have been living in 
 Mexico," she said. "Is your husband livin 
 I inquired. "No, he was killed in Mexico 
 about two months ago. I le was a cattle deal- 
 er; he was shot otVhis horse by one of his men. 
 Those Mexicans are rough; it's nothing for 
 them to shoot a man; it is a common occurrence 
 there. I had no relatives in that country, and 
 sold my property for about half its value, and 
 am going to my father's, in Illinois." " I can 
 in a small measure sympathize with you," I 
 said. " I came to Kansas to visit my daughter, 
 and while there my son wrote of my husband's 
 death. I intended to make Kansas my home 
 after this news, but the grasshopper famine 
 
238 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 came, and that put an end to this calculation. 
 My daughter had written to me to come to 
 Madison, Wisconsin, some time ago, but think- 
 ing probably times would be better, I remained 
 another year, and finding it still more difficult 
 to . live, I abandoned all hope of remaining 
 where peaple were not able to give me employ- 
 ment." I then said, "It is a good thing to 
 know of one who knows all our troubles, one 
 in whom we can confide all our sorrows; the 
 only one who can fully satisfy and comfort us 
 in our afflictions." " Probably that is the case," 
 she said; "religion is something I know noth- 
 ing about ; my husband was a man of the world, 
 and riches was all we cared about." " Don't 
 you think it would have been better," I asked, 
 " if you had sought the kingdom of Christ and 
 tried to live Christians?" "Perhaps it would," 
 she said, " but I don't know." " Do you ever 
 read the bible?" I inquired. "No, I have not 
 lately, or since I left my home ; I mean my fa- 
 ther's," she replied. " Now let me tell you one 
 thing," I continued, " if you will turn your at- 
 tention to this subject, and pray for His holy 
 spirit to direct you in wisdom's ways, you will 
 soon say the half had not been told you. The 
 enjoyment of the religion of Christ is the great- 
 est enjoyment which possibly can be obtained 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 239 
 
 in this life: and if we neglect this we are de- 
 priving ourselves of the greatest happiness that 
 can be enjoyed." The passengers had gathered 
 around to hear the conversation, and some of 
 them finally got into an argument, and I said 
 no more on that subject. 
 
 It now began to show daylight in the east, 
 and glad was I that one night more would end 
 the journey. We crossed the Mississippi river 
 at daylight, and the next morning at four o'clock 
 we arrived at Madison. Alter a visit to my 
 daughter's, for the period of two months, I then 
 received an answer to a letter from my sister in 
 Fond du Lac, requesting me to visit her, as it 
 was uncertain if I would ever have a'nother 
 chance to see her in this life. My sister, Mrs. 
 I hike, had at this time been under the care of 
 a skillful physician for some time, and now ev- 
 ery hour of delay admonished me of the danger 
 of being too late, as the best of medical aid did not 
 have any effect. I therefore hastened to her. I 
 found her better; but the change which time 
 had made was striking; and her appearance in- 
 dicated that her time with us had almost expired. 
 Although she revived for a short period, she 
 again grew weaker and weaker, and finally fell 
 to sleep, being fully prepared for the Mas- 
 ter's use. 
 
240 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 Hark, a voice divides the sky ; 
 
 Happy are the faithful dead, 
 In the Lord who sweetly die ; 
 
 Them the Spirit hath declared 
 Blest, unutterably blest. 
 
 Jesus is their great reward ; 
 Jesus is their endless rest. 
 
 My beloved sister Jane had also left me. One 
 after another were dropping into the tomb, and 
 I am left to spend a few more days of loneliness, 
 then if I am faithful I shall meet them in a hap- 
 pier world, where all will be perfectness and 
 love. May God in His goodness grant that we 
 may all meet in a far better and brighter world, 
 where " farewell " is never a cause of tears, but 
 where peace and joy unspeakable fills every 
 heart. Parents and children will greet each 
 other there, when all worldly objects are past, 
 and all temptations overcome through the pow- 
 er of faith in Christ ; and where all sinfulness 
 and care, adversity and hardships and toil, will 
 forever pass from our memory. How easy our 
 Savior has made it for us to come to Him. We 
 are not worthy, but He is worthy. We are 
 sinful, but He is holy and pure and righteous, 
 and through His worthiness we can come and 
 He will save us. If we are ever so poor we 
 , can come to Him just as well as though we 
 possessed thousands; and if we are ever so 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 241 
 
 much despised and low in the eyes of the world, 
 he will receive us just as well as though we 
 were kings or queens. He says He will pre- 
 pare a place for us, and where He is there we 
 can be also. O, what a beautiful place it must 
 be, prepared by the Savior; one who has laid 
 down His life for our salvation. O, \vhy arc' 
 we so careless? Had we not better serve Him 
 with good, honest hearts? Since our blessed 
 Savior has done so much for us, can we do too 
 much for Him? 
 
 " Ashamed of Jesus, that dear friend, 
 On whom my hopes of heaven depend ? 
 No, when I blush be this my shame, 
 That I no more adore His name. 
 Ashamed of Jesus? yes I may, 
 When Fve no guilt to wash away ; 
 ear to wipe, no good to crave, 
 No fear to quell, no soul to save. 
 'Till then, nor is my boasting vain ; 
 'Till then I boast a Savior slain ; 
 And O, may this my glory be, 
 That Christ is not ashamed of me. 
 
 When I look over the scenes of my past life 
 and the life which is to come, my hope within 
 the vale is like an anchor to the soul. I can 
 rest with the assurance that I have chosen a 
 safe foundation for my hopes of happiness here, 
 and in that glorious mansion, life everlasting. 
 
 16 
 
242 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 I should be afraid to venture my eternal all on 
 any other foundation than the one which is laid 
 down in the bible as to the plan of salvation. 
 All worldly reason is but mockery a dazzling 
 of the scenes, if it mistakes the decisive points 
 of the plan of salvation. There is nothing impor- 
 tant in life but this single object; all the rest is 
 a dream, in which any mistake is of little im- 
 portance. Trust not yourselves, therefore to 
 the multitude which is of the party wh6 err. 
 Take not as guides those who can never be your 
 sureties ; leave nothing to chance or to the un- 
 certainty of events, it is the hight of folly, where 
 eternity is concerned. There is an infinity of 
 paths which appear right to many; yet never- 
 theless they lead to endless death. Almost all 
 who perish, do it in the belief that they are in 
 the way to everlasting life, and all reprobates 
 will be surprised when they hear the sentence, 
 because they expected the inheritance of the just. 
 We must undergo the moulding and shap- 
 ing into whatever form our good Master de- 
 signs, and if we cannot endure to be moulded 
 and refined as clay in the potter's hands, or as 
 gold in the furnace, we are not fit for the Mas- 
 ter's use. If I have suffered for the Kingdom 
 of God, happy am I; glory to His holy name. 
 And O, if I could be counted worthy to be one 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 of that number who came out of great tribula- 
 tion, having my robe washed white in the blood 
 of the lamb, and be permitted to stand with 
 those who have sutlered before His throne and 
 ve Him day and night in His temple! "He 
 that sitteth on the throne shall dwell with them; 
 they shall hunger no more, neither shall they 
 thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on 
 them, nor any heat, for the Lamb which is in 
 the midst of the throne shall feed them, and 
 shall lead them unto living fountains of wa 
 and God shall wipe away all tears from their 
 eyes." It is now over forty years since God, 
 for Christ's sake, forgave my sins; since that 
 time I have the assurance that if anything was 
 lacking, or any hindrance which kept me from 
 the comfort of His love in my heart, it was my 
 own fault. He has always been ready to re- 
 ceive me back whenever I came to Him. This 
 has taught me my dependence on Him every 
 moment, and a continual watchfulness. I there- 
 fore find it a very great thing to live a divine 
 life. We have a work to perform; something 
 to do; and in order to do this work we must not 
 trust to our own strength, we must keep our 
 hand in His. " He that overcometh the same 
 shall be clothed in white raiment ; and I will not 
 blot out his name out of the book of life, but 
 
244 LIF ^ AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 will confess his name before my father and be- 
 fore his angels." 
 
 What eye, save one, seeth in secret; notices 
 the human heart enjoying fellowship with God? 
 What ear, save the one that heareth every sigh, 
 is open to listen in those moments of soul re- 
 pentings and deep sorrowings for its follies, 
 mistakes and sins? There are seasons of soul 
 elevation, when the sincere walk softly before 
 God, with prayers and tears, which flow in- 
 wardly, cleansing the soul of pollution, unseen, 
 unheard by friend or neighbor, but seen and 
 heard by Him who keeps " the book of remem- 
 brance." " They shall be mine, saith the Lord 
 of hosts, when I come to make up my jewels." 
 
 CHRISTIAN AT WORK. 
 
 " What is your secret? " asked a lady of Tur- 
 ner, the great painter. "I have no secret, 
 madam, but hard work." " The difference," 
 says Dr. Arnold, " between one man and anoth- 
 er, is not so much in talent as in energy." It 
 was a saying of Sir Joshua Reynolds, that 
 " nothing is denied well directed labor, and 
 nothing is to be attained without it." " Excel- 
 lence," says Dr. Johnson, " can now be obtained 
 by by the labor of lifetime ; but it is not to be 
 purchased at a lesser price." Says Sidney 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 245 
 
 Smith, " There is but one method, and that is 
 hard labor; for distinction had better at once 
 dedicate himself to^ the "pursuit of the fox." 
 a French proverb which reads, " step 
 by-step, one goes vei \ far." It is a well known 
 saying of Mirabeau, that "Nothing is impossi- 
 ble to a man who can will. This is the only 
 law of success." "Have you ever entered a 
 cottage, ever traveled in a coach, ever talked 
 with a peasant in the field, or loitered with a 
 mechanical the loom," asked Sir Edward P>. 
 :on, " and not found that each of these men 
 had a talent you had not; knew something you 
 knew not ?" Work, constant, honest, well din 
 eel work ; that is the royal road to permanent dis- 
 tinction, to lasting success; and there is no man, 
 however moderate his mental endowments may 
 be, who may not by faithful work, give the 
 world something which it never would have 
 had without him. 
 
CHAPTER XXXI. 
 
 There is one more clause concerning the gov- 
 ernment and rules of the Mormon church; that 
 is this: All members, according to their law, 
 are strictly forbidden to speak one slanderous, 
 word against his neighbor. This is in their 
 book of commandments by which the church 
 is governed. It reads thus: "Cease to speak 
 evil one of another; cease to be idle, for the 
 idler shall not eat the bread nor wear the gar- 
 ment of labor; cease to eat meat; and again, 
 hot drinks are not good for man, neither strong 
 drink, which is not good for man nor beasts; 
 cease to do evil and learn to do well; and again, 
 cleanliness is commendable, and next to godli- 
 ness." These rules are, or were, strictly ad- 
 hered to while we remained among the Mor- 
 mons. I do not know what has been their creed 
 since their removal to Salt Lake, as I never 
 visited that place. 
 
 IMMORALITY AND THE DRUNKARD. 
 
 Those two evils always go hand in hand. 
 They are twin brothers. What one suggests, 
 the other readily agrees to. They are always 
 
LIFE AMONG Tiff-: ^r<)RMONS. 2 j; 
 
 good friends, and never disagree except when 
 " Drunk falls into the ditch." " Immorality " 
 never lends him a helping hand, for this is 
 nst his principles. The drunkard, therefore, 
 wallows in the mire until the aid of Sobriety or 
 Morality is obtained, and then " Immorality " 
 folds his arms and looks on, until he is able to 
 walk again. Then " Immorality takes him by 
 the hand and they travel on, good friends as 
 ever. My erring friends, this is what Tempe- 
 rance is doing for you; will you be helped out 
 of the mire? 
 
 IJTTI.K CIIILDK 
 
 My dear little friends: I wish to say a few 
 words to you before I close this book, and will 
 say as good things as I can think of, and that you 
 will find in the bible, that teaches us all how to 
 be good. Did you ever read where it says: 
 " Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for 
 this is right." And then it says: " Honor thy 
 father and thy mother," which is the first com- 
 mandment, with promise that it may be well with 
 thee, and that thou mayest live long on the 
 earth. You all would rather live than to die 
 and leave your parents, and brothers and sisters, 
 and schoolmates. If so, you have the promise 
 of living if you keep this commandment. In 
 
248 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 the First Book of John, in the beginning of the 
 second chapter, it says : " Little children, these 
 things write I unto you, that ye sin not." And 
 also the 28th verse: " And now, little children, 
 abide in Him, that when He shall appear we 
 may have confidence, and not be ashamed be- 
 fore Him at His coming." And again he says, 
 in the third chapter, seventh verse: "Let no 
 man deceive you. He that doeth righteousness 
 is righteous, even as he is righteous." And in 
 the second chapter, i2th verse, he says: "I 
 write unto you little children because your sins 
 are forgiven you for His name's sake." We read 
 that Jesus called little children to him and said : 
 " Suffer little children to come unto me, and 
 forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of 
 heaven." The bible tells a great deal more 
 about little children ; you must find all you can 
 that it says about you, for then you will know 
 how to act, and how to be good children ; and 
 then when you are men and women you will 
 be respected and loved by everybody. Will 
 you try? 
 
 THE YOUTH. 
 
 I have a word to say to my youthful friends. 
 
 My hearty wishes and desires could not be at 
 
 peace without a little friendly advice. I will say, 
 
/, //-'A 1 AMu\t; THE MORMOXS. 
 
 2 49 
 
 in the first place, I have been young, therefore 
 I know the besetments which lurk in the path of 
 the youth. That is the time which is the most 
 dangerous period of their life, and that is the 
 time they need counsel; but, alas! how few ac- 
 cept it, even from their best friends. You will 
 find good counsel in the Book of Proverbs, 
 which savs: "My son, forget not mv law, but 
 let thy heart keep my commandments; for 
 length of days, and long life, and peace, shall 
 they add to them; let not mercy and truth for- 
 sake thee; bind them about thy neck; write 
 them upon the table of thine heart; soshaltthou 
 find favor and good understanding in the sight 
 of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all 
 thine heart, and lean not unto thine own under- 
 standing; in all thy ways acknowledge Him, 
 and lie shall direct thy paths; be not wise in 
 thine own eyes; fear the Lord and depart 
 from evil." 
 
 These are the words of a wise man, and 
 happy would those be who follow his counsel. 
 If you should obey your parents you need not 
 disobey any of those valuable sayings; for no 
 good person will advise their children to act 
 unwisely. The fourth chapter of Proverbs 
 says: "Hear ye, children, the instruction of a 
 father, and attend to know understanding!}' ; for 
 
250 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 I give you good doctrine; forsake ye not my 
 law. Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, 
 and the man that getteth understanding, for the 
 merchandise of it is better than the merchan- 
 dise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine 
 gold. Wisdom is more precious than rubies; 
 and all the things thou canst desire are not to 
 be compared to her." We read that the "fear 
 of God is the beginning of wisdom." 
 
 THE MORMON TEMPLE. 
 
 The temple at Nauvoo, Illinois, was built by 
 tithing. It was the custom, or the law of the 
 Mormon church to receive the tenth part of 
 what each member possessed. If there were 
 members who did not own property, they were 
 expected to work on some public building or 
 public improvement, one tenth part of his or 
 her time. The ladies paid their tithing by 
 making carpets ; or, if skilled, in making sale- 
 able embroaidery, or bedspreads, or quilts, or 
 clothing, or hosiery, or any fancy saleable work 
 which could be turned into money, by a com- 
 mittee chosen for that purpose, and appropri- 
 ated for the good of the church, in buildings or 
 improvements, to increase and enrich the value 
 of the church at large. 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 251 
 
 MY BROTHER'S DEATH. 
 
 I have just received news of my oldest 
 brother's death, with whom I resided when 
 Mormonism first ma'de its appearance, and with 
 whom I conversed in the grove at the time Mr. 
 Sherer held my hand, and who was one of those 
 who signed the copy of complaint entered 
 against me by the Presbyterian church in Sand- 
 ford, New York. All of those concerned in 
 this iiflair, have now left the theater of earth; 
 and, like the messenger sent to Job, I alone am 
 escaped to tell the story. 
 
 THK DANITES. 
 
 Some of the truths herein disclosed may bring 
 some to wonder that any should be so well 
 versed in the theorem of those secret bands of 
 prowling Danites, who are traveling through 
 the country under the name of tramps. This 
 country has for many years past been filled 
 with an unusual flood of burglars. It may be 
 already understood J;hat many evil-designing 
 persons have united with the Mormon church 
 for the purpose of having a shelter for their 
 crimes; knowing at the same time that the 
 Mormons would have to bear the name, also 
 the blame, of their evil deeds. 
 
252 LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 
 
 It has now been many years since I was so 
 fortunate as to make my escape from that class 
 of people; and hoping this will be a warning 
 to others, I feel it my duty to explain those 
 things; and, of a truth, will further say that 
 they are unlike what they appeared to be in the 
 commencement. I now look back with as- 
 tonishment, that so many well-meaning people, 
 also those of high respectability, and even dis- 
 tinction in good moral and religious society, 
 have, unfortunately, been drawn into their un- 
 observed coils. 
 
 The order, or practice of healing the sick 
 among the Mormons, is the laying on of hands; 
 therefore, if any are sick among them, they call 
 on the Elders of the church, two or more ; and, 
 as they say, the prayer of faith shall save the 
 sick; and if they have committed sin, it shall 
 be forgiven them. The order, also, of baptizing 
 for any sickness, is considered essential to 
 health ; however in this case, they also perform 
 the same ceremony as for converts. They are 
 also baptized for their dead friends, vicariously 
 taking upon themselves the name of the de- 
 ceased friend, those who have died without be- 
 ing baptized; as they say, "thus bringing them 
 into the kingdom of God." 
 
 Speaking in tongues is also praticed among 
 
LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS. 253 
 
 the so-called Saints, and the interpretation of 
 tongues. Order, in all business concerns, is 
 truly a marked feature among them in all pur- 
 suits of life. 
 
 I have, in relation to what I have written 
 concerning the Mormons, given an accurate 
 account of all events which have occurred 
 within my own knowledge; and have relied on 
 the principle, "to prove all tilings and hold fast 
 to that which is good."