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THE DIARY 
 
 OF A JAPANESE CONVERT 
 
 By KANZO UCHIMURA 
 
 ENCOURAGEMENT: 
 
 "Veracity, true simplicity of heart, how valuable are these always! 
 He that speaks what is really in him, will find men to listen, thouj?h 
 under never such impediments." — Thomas Carlyle. 
 
 FLEMING H. REVELL COMPANY 
 
 NEW YOHK CHICAGO TOROWTO 
 
 Tokyo, Japan : Keiseisha : Idzumocho. Kyobashikn 
 
u-5 
 
 I am grateful to you for sending me the advance sheets of 
 this wonderful book, for it is a wonderful book. It is an inter- 
 pretative study which a man makes of himself in life's crises and 
 in the more serious periods of his career. It has visions of truth 
 such as are given to but few to see. It also has a vital element in 
 every part, which grips one to the book with tremendous fixedness. 
 
 I shall be interested to know whether the thinking people of 
 .America wake up to the presence among themselves of a book of 
 this character. 
 
 What a satisfaction it is to come into close relations with a 
 mighty mind! Most of us human beings are fitted for only a com- 
 mon life. Of course "God likes common people," as it is said, 
 "or He would not have made so many of us," but after all I am 
 sure that he prefers the nobly uncommon, and we ourselves cer- 
 tainly like the uncommon and conspicuous. 
 
 CHAS. F. THWING. 
 
 President oj Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio. 
 
 lof^ 
 
 ^0 
 
 I am glad that this heart experience of a Japanese is to be given 
 to the public in America. It is suggestive, instructive and val- 
 uable in many ways. No one can read it without realizing more 
 fully the strength of Christianity, and that its strength is in the 
 living Christ himself, who dwells with the soul who will receive 
 Him. 
 
 I am srlad that this picture is given of the outcome of the year 
 of work which President Clark did in Sapporo, as he helped to 
 ortjanize the Agricultural College there, and insisted that the 
 Bible sliould be taken as the ba«?is of the morality taught in the 
 in«5titution. The little band of believers whom he left there have 
 hell on through more than twenty years, almost everyone of them 
 a tower of strength ni Jai)an. 
 
 I am glad of this tribute tf) the noble heart of President Seelye, 
 (jf Amh^'rst, as well as for the words ( in general just ) of criticism, 
 favor.iblc and unfavorable, upon our American Christianity, and 
 upon foreign missions. J. D. DAVIS, 
 
 0/ Doshislia University, Kyoto, Japan, and Author of '''■Life of Nescima,'" 
 
 October, /8qj. 
 
 Copyright, 1895. by Fleming H. Revell Company. 
 
TO ALL THE GOODLY SOULS 
 
 WHO APPEAR IN THESE PAGES BY THEIR 
 
 INITIALS AND OTHERWISE, 
 
 AS GOD-SENT MESSENGERS TO PREPARE Ml? 
 
 SOUL FOR HEAVEN, 
 
 THIS HUMBLE DESCRIPTION OF THE 
 
 CHIEFEST OF SINNERS 
 
 IS MOST AFFECTIONATELY 
 
 DEDICATED. 
 
NOTE, 
 
 This Book by a native Japanese, written in English by 
 himself, from his Japanese home, will, we believe, be accept- 
 able to a wide circle of American readers. So far as we 
 know, it is the only book of the kind ever published in any 
 language ; and as a vivid portraiture of a struggling soul 
 seeking light and peace for his and his nation's salvation, it 
 will be read with deep interest by all who desire the good of 
 humanity. It touches upon many vital questions connected 
 with Christian missions in *' heathen " lands ; and written in 
 autobiographical form, it has all the freshness and reality of 
 the author's own actual experiences. 
 
 Except in a few instances when the meaning might not 
 have been quite clear, the work is issued as written by the 
 author. The occasional indications of a foreign idiom but 
 enhances the reader's interest, and it was not thought best 
 to alter these or critically correct every minor inaccurate 
 form of expression as judged by our English usage. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 In many a religious gathering to which I was in- 
 vited during my stay in America to give a talk for 
 fifteen minutes and no more (as some great doctor, 
 the chief speaker of the meeting, was to fill up the 
 most of the time), I often asked the chairman (or 
 the chairwoman) what they would like to hear 
 from me. The commonest answer I received was, 
 "O just tell us how you were converted." I was 
 always at a loss how to comply with such a de- 
 mand, as I could not in any way tell in '^fifteen 
 minutes and no more" the awful change that 
 came over my soul since I was brought in contact 
 with Christianity. The fact is, the conversion of 
 a heathen is always a matter of wonder, if not of 
 curiosity, to the Christian public; and it was just 
 natural' that I too was asked to tell them some 
 vivid accounts of how ''I threw my idols into the 
 fire, and clung unto the Gospel." But mine was 
 a more obdurate case than those of many other 
 converts. Though moments of ecstacy and sudden 
 spiritual illuminations were not wanting, my 
 conversion was a slow gradual process. I was not 
 converted in a day. Long after I ceased to pros- 
 trate myself before idols, yea long after I was 
 baptized, I lacked those beliefs in the funda- 
 mental teachings of Christianity which I now con- 
 sider to be essential in calling myself a Christian. 
 Even yet ''I count not myself to have apprehend- 
 ed" ; and as T press toward the mark for the prize 
 of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, I know 
 
6 Preface, 
 
 not whether I maj yet find my present position 
 to be still heathenish. These pages are the hon- 
 est confessions of the various stages of the 
 spiritual growth I have passed through. Will 
 the reader receive them as the unadorned ex- 
 pressions of a human heart, and judge with 
 leniency the language in which they are written, 
 as it is not the tongue that I learned from my 
 mother's lips, and the ornate literature is not the 
 trade by which I live in this world. K. U. 
 
 An Isle in the Pacific. 
 May 1, 1895. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER. PAGE. 
 
 Introduction 9 
 
 I. Heathenism ii 
 
 II. Introduction to Christianity . . . 19 
 
 III. The Incipient Church .... 29 
 
 IV. A New Church and Lay-Preaching . . 65 
 
 V. Out into the World— Sentimental Chris- 
 tianity 86 
 
 VI. The First Impressions of Christendom . lOi 
 
 VII. In Christendom— Among Philanthropists . ii6 
 
 VIII. In Christendom— New England College Life I4i 
 
 IX. In Christendom— a Dip into Theology . . i69 
 
 X. The Net Impressions of Christendom— Re- 
 turn Home i86 
 
DIARY OF A JAPANESE 
 CONVERT. 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 I propose to write how I became a Christian and 
 not whj. The so-called "philosophy of conver- 
 sion" is not mj theme. I will onlj describe its 
 ^'phenomena," and will furnish materials for more 
 disciplined minds than mine to philosophize upon. 
 I early contracted the habit of keeping my diary, 
 in which I noted down whatever ideas and events 
 came to pass upon me. I made mj^self a subject 
 of careful observations, and found it more mys- 
 terious than anything I ever have studied. I 
 jotted down its rise and progress, its falls and 
 backslidings, its joys and hopes, its sins and dark- 
 ness; and notwithstanding all the awfulness that 
 attends such an observation like this, I found it 
 more seriously interesting than any study I ever 
 have undertaken. I call my diary a ''log-book," 
 as a book in which is entered the daily progress 
 of this poor bark toward the upper haven through 
 sins, and tears, and many a woe. I might just as 
 well call it a "biologist's sketch-book," in which is 
 kept the accounts of all the morphological and 
 physiological changes of a soul in its embryolog- 
 ical development from a seed to a full-eared corn. 
 A part of such a record is now given to the 
 
10 Dion/ of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 public, and the reader may draw whatever con- 
 clusions he likes from it. My diary, however, 
 beji^ins only a few months 'before 1 accepted 
 Christianity. 
 
Heathenism. 11 
 
 CHAPTER L 
 
 HEATHENISM 
 
 I was born, according to the Gregorian calendar, 
 on the 28th of March, 1861. My family belonged 
 to the warrior class; so I was born to fight — 
 vivere est militare, — from the very cradle. My 
 paternal grandfather was every-inch a soldier. 
 He was never so happy as when he appeared In 
 his ponderous armour, decked with a bamboo-bow 
 and pheasant-feathered arrows and a 50-pound 
 fire-lock. He lamented that the land was in peace, 
 and died with regret that he never was able to 
 put his trade in practice. My father was more 
 cultured, could write good poetry, and was 
 learned in the art of ruling man. He too w^as a 
 man of no mean military ability, and could lead a 
 most turbulent regiment in a very creditable 
 way. — Maternally, my grandfather was essential- 
 ly an honest man. Indeed he had few other 
 abilities than honesty, if honesty could be called 
 an ability in this glorious selfish century. It is 
 told of him that when he w^as asked to lend out 
 some public money with usury-interest (a custom 
 very common with treasurers of petty provincial 
 lords, who of course pocketed the whole of the 
 interest money), my grandfather was too wise to 
 offend his head-officers by disobeying them, but 
 was too conscientious to exact exorbitant rates 
 from the poor borrowers; so he kept the money 
 with him, and at the expiration of the term, he 
 returned it to the usurious officers, with high in- 
 
12 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 terest upon it out of his own pocket. He also was 
 a total abstainer. I do not believe more than 
 twenty cups of fiery drinks ever passed his lips in 
 his life-time, and this only by the recommendation 
 of his doctors. — My maternal grandmother was 
 a worthy companion to this honest and ab- 
 stemious man. She was born to work, — vivere 
 est laborare for her, — and for forty years she did 
 work as any frail human being could work. For 
 fifty years she lived a life of widowhood, brought 
 up and educated five children with her own hands, 
 never proved false to her neighbor, never ran in 
 debt; and now in her four-scores-and-four, with 
 her ears closed to the noise and din of the world, 
 her deep eyes ever bathed with tears, she calmly 
 w^aits for the shadow to relieve her from the life 
 she so bravely fought through. A pathos there is 
 in "heathenism" so noble as hers. She is too 
 sacred to be touched with the hand of inex- 
 perience whatever theologies and philosophies it 
 can handle. Let the Spirit of God alone mould 
 her, and no ill shall come to her well-tried soul.* 
 My mother has inherited from her mother this 
 mania for work. She forgets all the pains and 
 sorrows of life in her work. She is one of those 
 who "can't afford" to be gloomy because life is 
 hard. Her little home is her kingdom, and she 
 rules it, washes it, feeds it, as no queen has ever 
 done. 
 
 Such was my parentage, and such were the 
 hearts which moulded me. But to no one of them 
 do I trace the origin of my "religious sensibilities" 
 which I early acquired in my 'boyhood. My father 
 
 * She passed away in peace during the preparation of 
 this book. 
 
Heathenism, 13 
 
 was decidedly blasphemous toward heathen gods 
 of all sorts. He once dropped a base coin into 
 the monev-chest of a Buddhist temple, and scorn- 
 fully addressed the idols there that they would 
 haye another such coin if they would in any way 
 help him to win a law-case in which he was then 
 engaged; — a feat wholly beyond my power at 
 any period of my religious experience. But T 
 always thank my God that I neyer haye tasted 
 human flesh, or prostrated myself before the 
 wheels of Juggernaut, or witnessed infants fed 
 to gayials. If in my childhood I had no blessed 
 Sabbath home to draw upward my secret heart 
 with influence sweet, I was spared much of mam- 
 monism, of the fearful curse of rum-traffic, so com- 
 mon in other doms than heathendoms. If there 
 were no Gospel stories to calm down my childish 
 passion's rage, that excitement and rush of the 
 so-called Christendom which whirls men and 
 women into premature grayes was unknown to 
 me. If heathenism is the reign of darkness, it is 
 the reign of moon and stars, of obscure lights no 
 doubt, but withal of repose and comparatiye in- 
 nocence. 
 
 My father was a good Confucian scholar, who 
 could repeat from memory almost eyery passage 
 in the writings and sayings of the sage. So na- 
 turally my early education was in that line; and 
 though I could not understand the ethico-political 
 precepts of the Chinese sages, I was imbued with 
 the general sentiments of their teachings. 
 Loyality to my feudal lords, and fidelity and re- 
 spects to my parents and teachers, were the cen- 
 tral themes of the Chinese ethics. Filial piety 
 was taught to be the source of all yirtues, akin 
 to the Solomonic precept of 'Tear of God is the 
 beginning of wisdom." The story of a filial youth 
 
Ix Dkiry of a Japanese Convert 
 
 responding to an unreasonable demand of an old 
 parent to have a tender bamboo-shoot (the aspara- 
 jTjus of the Orient) at midwinter, of his search for 
 it in forest, and of its miraculous sprout from 
 under the snow is as vivid to the memory of every 
 child in my land as the story of Joseph to that 
 of every Christian youth. Even parental tyranny 
 and oppression were to be meekly borne, and 
 many illustrations were cited from the deeds of 
 ancient worthies in this respect. — Loyality to 
 feudal lords, especially in time of war, took more 
 \^omantic shapes in the ethical conceptions of the 
 youth of my land. He was to consider his life as 
 light as dust when called to serve his lord in 
 exigency; and the noblest spot where he could 
 die was in front of his master's steed, thrice 
 blessed if his corpse was trumpled under its hoof. 
 — No less weightier was to be the youth's con- 
 sideration for his master (his intellectual and 
 moral preceptor), who was to him no mere school- 
 teacher or college professor on quid pro quo 
 principle, but a veritable didaskalos, in whom he 
 could and must completely confide the care of his 
 body and soul. The Lord, the Father, and the 
 Master, constituted his Trinity. Neither one of 
 them was inferior to any other in his considera- 
 tion, and the most vexing question to him was 
 which he would save, if the three of them were on 
 the point of drowning at the same time, and he 
 had ability to save but one. Then, their enemies 
 were to be his own enemies, with whom he was 
 not allowed to bear the same benignant heaven. 
 These were to be pursued even to the very ends of 
 the earth, and satisfaction must be had, eye for 
 eye, tooth for tooth. 
 
 Strong in inculcating obedience and reverence 
 toward our superiors, the oriental precepts ar^ 
 
Heathenism. 15 
 
 not wanting in regard to our relations to our 
 equals and inferiors. Sincerity in friendship, 
 harmony in brotherhood, and leniency toward 
 the inferior and the governed are strongly 
 insisted upon. Much reported cruelties of 
 heathens toward women do not find en- 
 couragement to that effect in their moral code, 
 neither is it entirely silent upon the subject Our 
 ideal mothers and wives and sisters are not very 
 inferior to the conception of the highest Christian 
 womanhood, and the very fact that some of them 
 achieved high excellence in deeds and character 
 without the exalting influence of Christianity 
 makes me to admire them so much more. 
 
 Side by side with these and other instructions, 
 not inferior, I sincerely believe, to those which are 
 imparted to, and possessed by, many who call 
 themselves Christians, I was not free from many 
 drawbacks and much superstition. 
 
 The most defective point in Chinese ethics is ^ 
 its weakness when it deals with sexual morality. 
 Not that it is wholly silent upon the virtue of 
 social purity, but the way in which the violation 
 of the law of chastity is usually dealt with, and 
 its connivance upon the perpetrators of the same, 
 resulted in general apathy in this respect. Poly- 
 gamy in its strict sense has never entered into 
 oriental minds; but concubinage, which amounts 
 to the same thing, has met only mildest rebukes, 
 if any, from their moralists. Amidst solemn in- 
 structions of my father about duty and high 
 ambition, I discerned words of emulation for 
 study and industry with an opulent harem in view.-^ 
 Great statesmanship and learning may exist with- 
 out ideas of chastity. He that grasps the rein of 
 the state in sober hours may rest upon a bosom 
 of uncleanliness in less serious moments. Glar- 
 
16 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 ing profligacy does often attend acute intellect 
 and high regard for public honor, and though I 
 am not blind to darkness as great in other -coun- 
 tries than my own, I do not hesitate in attributing 
 impotence to Chinese ethics when it deals wuth 
 questions of social purity. 
 
 But no retrospect of my bygone days causes in 
 me a greater humiliation than the spiritual dark- 
 ness I groped under, laboriously sustained wath 
 gross superstitions. I believed, and that sin- 
 cerely, that there dw^elt in each of innumerable 
 temples its god, jealous over its jurisdiction, ready 
 with punishment to any transgressor that fell 
 under his displeasure. The god w^hom I reverenced 
 and adored most was the god of learning and 
 writing, for w^hom I faithfully observed the 25th 
 of every month with due sanctity and sacrifice. I 
 prostrated myself before his image, earnestly im- 
 plored his aid to improve my handwriting and 
 help my memory. Then there is a god who pre- 
 sides over rice-culture, and his errands unto 
 mortals are white foxes. He can be approached 
 with prayers to protect our houses from fire and 
 robbery, and as mj father was mostly away from 
 home, and I was alone with my mother, I ceased 
 not to beseach this god of rice to keep my poor 
 home from the said disasters. There w^as another 
 god whom I feared more than all others. His 
 emblem was a black raven, and he w^as the search- 
 er of man's inmost heart. The keeper of his 
 temple issued papers upon which ravens were 
 printed in sombre colors, the whole having a mir- 
 aculous property to cause immediate hemorrage 
 when taken into stomach by any one who told 
 falsehood. I often vindicated my truthfulness be- 
 fore my comrades by calling upon them to test 
 my veracity by the use of a piece of this sacred 
 
Heathenism. 17 
 
 paper, if they stood in suspicion of what I asserted. 
 Still another god exercises healing power upon 
 those who suffer from toothache. Him also did 
 I call upon, as I was a constant sufferer from this 
 painful malady. He would exact from his devotee 
 a vow to abstain from pears as specially ob- 
 noxious to him, and I was of course most willing 
 to undergo the required privation. Future study 
 in Chemistry and Toxicology revealed to me a 
 good scientific foundation for this abstinence, as 
 the injurious effect of grape-sugar upon the de- 
 caying teeth is well-known. But all of heathen 
 superstitions cannot be so happily explained. 
 One god would impose upon me abstinence from 
 the use of eggs, another from beans, till after I 
 made all my vows, many of my boyish delicacies 
 were entered upon the prohibition list. Multipli-V 
 city of gods often involved the contradiction of 
 the requirements of one god with those of another, 
 and sad was the plight of a conscientious soul^ 
 when he had to satisfy more than one god. With 
 so many gods to satisfy and appease, I was na- 
 turally a fretful timid child. I framed a general 
 prayer to be offered to every one of them, adding 
 of course special requests appropriate to each, as 
 I happened to pass before each temple. Every 
 morning as soon as I washed myself, I offered 
 this common prayer to each of the four groups of 
 gods located in the four points of the compass, 
 paying special attention to the eastern group, as 
 the Rising Sun was the greatest of all gods. 
 Where several temples were contiguous to one 
 another, the trouble of repeating the same prayer 
 so many times was very great; and I would often 
 prefer a longer route with less number of sanc- 
 tuaries in order to avoid the trouble of saying 
 my prayers without scruples of my conscience. 
 
18 D lay II of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 The number of dieties to be worsliipped increased 
 da.v by day, till I found my little soul totally in- 
 capable of plBasing them all. But a relief came at 
 last 
 
Jntrodmtion to Christianity, 19 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 INTRODUCTION TO CHRISTIANITY. 
 
 One Sunday morning a school-mate of mine 
 asked me whether I would not go with him to "a 
 certain place in foreigners' quarter, where we can 
 hear pretty women sing, and a tall big man with 
 long beard shout and howl upon an elevated place, 
 flinging his arms and twisting his body in all 
 fantastic manners, to all which admittance is 
 entirely free." Such was his description of a 
 Christian house of worship conducted in the 
 language which was new to me then. I followed 
 my friend, and I was not displeased with the place. 
 Sunday after Sunday I resorted to this place, not 
 knowing the awful consequence that was to fol- 
 low such a practice. An old English lady from 
 whom I learned my first lessons in English took 
 a great delight in my church-going, unaware of 
 the fact that sight-seeing, and not truth-seeking, \ 
 was the only view I had in my "Sunday excursion 
 to the settlement" as I called it. 
 
 Christianity was an enjoyable thing to me so 
 long as I was not asked to accept it. Its music, 
 its stories, the kindness shown me by its followers, 
 pleased me immensely. But five years after, when 
 it was formally presented to me to accept, with 
 certain stringent laws to keep and much sacrifice 
 to make, my whole nature revolted against sub- 
 mitting myself to such a course. That I must set 
 aside one day out of seven specially for religious 
 purpose, wherein I must keep myself from all my 
 
20 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 other studies and enjoyments, was a sacrifi'ce 
 which I thoujijht next to impossible to make. And 
 it was uo^Jle^ b. alon ^^Kluch revolted against ac- 
 cepting me new faith. learty^earned to honor 
 my nation above all others, andSa^wor^ip my 
 fiition's gods and no others. I thou^t P^Qpld 
 not be forced even by death itself m vow 
 allegiance to any other gods than my/country' 
 
 , I should be a traitor to my country, and 
 apostate from my national faith by/accepting a 
 faith which is exotic in its origin. /All mv.'lloble 
 ambitions which Tiad been built upon n*y former 
 conceptions of duty and patriotisji>^rae to be de- 
 
 >U,nolished by suclL .aa^'eygrtTTre!^ I was then a 
 Freshman in a new Government College, where by 
 an effort of a New England Christian scientist, 
 the whole of the upper class (there were but two 
 classes then in the whole college) had already 
 been converted to Christianity. The imperious 
 attitude of the Sophomores toward the "baby 
 Freshmen" is the same the world over, and when 
 to it was added a new religious enthusiasm and 
 spirit of propagandism, their impressions upon 
 the poor "Freshies" can easily be imagined. They 
 tried to convert the Freshies by storm ; but there 
 was one among the latter who thought himself 
 capable of not only withstanding the combined 
 assault of the ''Sofihomoric rushes," (in this case, 
 religion-rush, not cane-rush), but even of recon- 
 verting them to their old faith. But alas! mighty 
 men around me were falling and surrendering to 
 the enemy. I alone was left a "heathen," the mucli 
 detested idolator, the incorrigible worshipper of 
 wood and stones. I well remember the extremity 
 and loneliness to which I was reduced then. One 
 afternoon I resorted to a heathen temple in the 
 vicinity, said to have been "authorized by the 
 
tntrodncflon to Christianity. ^1 
 
 Government" to be tlie guardian-god of the dis- 
 trict. At some distance from the sacred mirror 
 which represented the invisible presence of the 
 deitv, I prostrated myself upon coarse dried grass, 
 and there burst into a prayer as sincere and 
 genuine as any I have ever offered to my Christian 
 God since then. I beseeched that guardian-god 
 to speedily extinguish the new enthusiasm in my 
 college, to punish such as those who obstinately 
 refused to disown the strange god, and to help 
 me in my humble endeavor in the patriotic cause 
 I w^as upholding then. After the devotion I re- 
 turned to my dormitory, again to be tormented 
 with the most unwelcome persuasion to accept 
 the^ew faith. 
 
 The public opinion of the college w^as too strong 
 against me, which it was beyond my power to 
 withstand. They forced me to sign the covenant 
 given below, somewhat in a manner of extreme 
 temperance men prevailing upon an incorrigible 
 drunkard to sign a temperani-e pledge. I finally 
 yielded and signed it. I often asked myself 
 whether I ought to have refrained from sub- 
 mitting myself to such a coercion. I was but a 
 mere lad of sixteen then, and the boys who thus 
 forced me "to come in" were all much bigger than 
 I. So, you see, my first step toward Christianity 
 was a forced one, against my will, and I must 
 confess, somewhat against my conscience too. 
 The covenant I signed read as follows : 
 
 COVENANT OF BELIEVERS IN JESUS. 
 
 ^'The undersigned members of S. A. College, 
 desiring to confess Christ according to his com- 
 mand, and to perform with true fidelity every 
 Christian duty in order to show our love and 
 
22 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 gratitude to that blessed Savior who has made 
 atonement for our sins by his death on the cross; 
 and earnestly wishing to advance his Kingdom 
 among men for the promotion of his glory and the 
 salvation of those for whom he died, do solemnly 
 covenant with God and with each other from this 
 time forth to be his faithful disciples, and to live 
 in strict compliance with the letter and the spirit 
 of his teachings; and w^henever a suitable op- 
 portunity offers we promise to present ourselves 
 for examination, baptism and admission to some 
 evangelical church. 
 
 "We believe the Bi'ble to be the only direct 
 revelation in language from God to man, and the 
 only perfect and infallible guide to a glorious 
 future life. 
 
 "We believe in one everlasting God who is our 
 Merciful Father, our just and sovereign Ruler, 
 and who is to be our final Judge. 
 
 "We believe that all who sincerely repent and 
 by faith in the Son of God obtain the forgiveness 
 of their sins, will be graciously guided through 
 this life by the Holy Spirit and protected by the 
 watchful providence of the Heavenly Father, and 
 so at length prepared for the enjoyments and 
 pursuits of the redeemed and holy ones; 
 but that all who refuse to accept the in- 
 vitation of the Gospel must perish in their 
 sins, and be forever punished from the presence 
 of the Lord. 
 
 "The following commandments we promise to 
 remember and obey through all the vicissitudes 
 of our earthly lives: 
 
 "Thou Shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy 
 heart and with all thy soul, and with all thy 
 strength and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor 
 as thyself. 
 
Introduction to Christ km ity. 23 
 
 "Thou shalt not worship any graven image or 
 any likeness of any created beii>g or thing. 
 
 "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy 
 God in vain. 
 
 "Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy, 
 avoiding all unnecessary labor, and devoting it as 
 far as possible to the study of the Bible and the 
 preparation of thyself and others for a holy life. 
 
 "Thou shalt obey and honor thy parents and 
 rulers. 
 
 "Thou shalt not commit murder, adultery, or 
 other impurity, theft or deception. 
 
 "Thou shalt do no evil to thy neighbor. 
 
 "Pray without ceasing. 
 
 "For mutual assistance and encouragement we 
 hereby constitute ourselves an association under 
 the name "Believers in Jesus," and we promise 
 faithfullly to attend one or more meetings each 
 week while living together, for the reading of the 
 Bible or other religious books or papers, for con- 
 ference and for social prayer; and we sincerely 
 desire the manifest presence in our hearts of the 
 Holy Spirit to quicken our love, to strengthen our 
 faith, and to guide us into a saving knowledge of 
 the truth. , S.— March 5, 1877." 
 
 The whole was framed in English by the Ameri- 
 can Christian scientist mentioned before, himself 
 a graduate of, and once a professor in, one of the 
 most evangelical of the New England Colleges. 
 His own signature was followed by those of the 
 fifteen of his students, and my class-mates swelled 
 the number to over thirty. My name, I suppose, 
 stood the last but one or two. 
 
 The practical advantage of the new faith was 
 evident to me at once. I had felt it even while I 
 was engaging all my powers to repel it from me. 
 I was taught that there was but one God in the 
 
24 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 Universe, and not many, — over eight millions, — 
 as I had formerly believed. The Christian mono- 
 theism laid its axe at the root of all my supersti- 
 tions. All the vows I had made, and the manifold 
 forms of worship with which I had been attempt- 
 ing to appease my angry gods, could now be dis- 
 pensed with by owning this one God; and my 
 reason and conscience responded "yea!" One 
 God, and not many, w^as indeed a glad tiding to 
 my litlle soul. No more use of saying my long 
 prayers every morning to the four groups of gods 
 situated in the four points of the compass; of 
 repeating a long prayer to every temple I passed 
 by in the streets; and of observing this day for 
 this god and that day for that god, with vows and 
 abstinence peculiar to each. Oh, how proudly I 
 passed by temples after temples with my head 
 erect and conscience clear, with full confidence 
 that they could punish me no longer for my not 
 saying my prayers to them, for I found the God of 
 gods to back and uphold me." -My friends noticed 
 the change in my mood at once. While I used to 
 stop my conversation as soon as a temple came in 
 view, for I had to say my prayer to it in my heart, 
 they observed me to continue in cheer and laugh- 
 ter all through my way to the school. I was not\ 
 sorry that I was forced to sign the covenant of the \ 
 "Believers in Jesus." Monotheism made me a new 
 /^man. I resumed my beans and eggs. I thought 
 I comprehended the whole of Christianity, so in- 
 spiring was the idea of one God. The new spirit- 
 ual freedom given by the new faith had a healthy 
 influence upon my mind and body. My studies 
 were pursued with more concentration. Rejoic- 
 ing in the newly-imparted activity of my body I 
 roamed over fields and mountains, o-bserved the 
 lillies of the valley and birds of the air, and sought 
 
Introduction to Christianity, 25 
 
 to commune tlirougli Xature witli Nature's God. 
 A few extracts from my Diary may now be in- 
 serted. 
 
 Sept. 9, 1877— Took walk with S. and M. in 
 morning. In evening heard the Christ- 
 prayer of the Sophomores. 
 
 "Christ-prayer," a peculiar expression, this. I 
 discern a sort of scorn in it. 
 
 Dec. 1. — Entered the gate of the "Jesus Re- 
 ligion." 
 
 Or rather forced to enter; i. e. forced to sign 
 the covenant of the ''Believers in Jesus." 
 
 Feb. 10, 1878, Sunday.— O., a Sophomore, 
 comes and talks in my room (about Chris- 
 tianity). Took walk with T., M., F., H., and 
 Ot, by the river. On the way home observed 
 the killing of street dogs. In evening, O. 
 comes again, and played "lots'^ with us. 
 
 Not very puritanic way of keeping Sabbath. O. 
 turned out to be the pastor of our church in after 
 years. We called him a "missionary monk," and 
 he was the one who teased me most while I was 
 yet a heathen. The extermination of houseless 
 dogs was going on then, and the boys liked to 
 witness the cruel process, and we thought it was 
 not a sin to do so even on Sundays. "Lots" was 
 our favorite play in which good and bad lucks 
 were distributed in chance manners among the 
 players; and our would-be pastor and clergyman 
 thought it was not below his sacerdotal dignity 
 to join such a party in Sunday evening. 
 
20 Diari/ of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 March 3, Sunday.— Ilad a tea-party in 
 
 afternoon. A church in O.' s room in evenins". 
 
 Pleasures of flesh still indulged in on holy days. 
 O. is still the centre of the religious movement, 
 and a ''church," or more properly a religious 
 meeting, was held for the first time in his room. 
 
 March 31, Sunday. — A church in Ot.'s room. 
 The chapter of the evening was really inter- 
 esting. 
 
 I think the chapter was Romans XII. Our con- 
 science was pricked, -because we were not in mood 
 "to feed our enemy in his hunger." 
 
 April 21, Sunday. — At 9 in morning had a 
 prayer meeting with F., M., Ot, H., and T. 
 Great joy for the first time. 
 
 Getting to be more spiritual. Began to feel joy 
 in prayers. 
 
 May 19, Sunday. — Too much criticism in 
 the meeting. In afternoon, rambled in the 
 forest with F., Ot., M., A., and T. Brought 
 some cherry-blossoms with us. Very pleas- 
 ant. 
 
 A germ of religious dissension already, which 
 was dissipated by flower-hunting in the spring 
 air. The best way of settling difficulties in any 
 church, I suppose. 
 
 June 1, Saturday. — The day for the Col- 
 lege sport. No recitations. Some two hun- 
 dred spectators on the ground. Regular 
 
Introduction to Christianity, 27 
 
 stomach-stuffing in the hall in evening. A 
 scuffle with H. 
 
 Very unfitting preparation for the day that 
 followed. H. was a "church" member, and I dis- 
 agreed with him on some theological opinions. 
 
 June 2, Sunday.— At 10 A. M. heard a 
 sermon from Rev. Mr. H. At 3 P. M. after 
 another sermon and prayers, received bap- 
 tism from him, together with the six brothers 
 Ot., M., A., H., T., and F. Prayer and sermon 
 
 A never-to-be-forgotten day. Mr. H. was a 
 Methodist missionary from America, who came 
 once a year to render us help in religious matters. 
 We remember how we kneeled before him, and 
 how tremblingly though resolutely we responded 
 Amen, as we were asked to own the name of Him 
 who was crucified for our sins. ^Ye thought that 
 each of us should adopt a Christian name at the 
 same time as we confessed ourselves as Christian^ 
 before men. So we looked over the appendix to 
 Webster's dictionary, and each selected a name 
 as it seemed well fitted to him. Ot. called himself 
 Paul: he was literary in his inclination, and he 
 thought the name of a pupil of Gamaliel would 
 go very well with him. F. adopted Hugh for his 
 Christian name for no other reason than that it 
 sounded very much like his nick-name "Nu" mean- 
 ing "bald-headed.'' T. was called Frederick, A., 
 Edwin, H., Charles, M., Francis, and I named 
 myself Jonathan, because I was a strong advocate 
 of the virtue of friendship, and Jo-nathan's love 
 for David pleased me well. 
 
28 Diarji of a Japanese Convo \ 
 
 The Rubicon was thus crossed forever. Wo 
 vowed our alleg:iance to our new Master, and the 
 sign of the Cross was made upon our brows. Let 
 us serve Him with the lojaljty w^e have been 
 taught to show toward our earthly lord and 
 master, and go on conquering kingdom after king- 
 dom, 
 
 "Till earth's remotest nation 
 Has learned Messiah's name." 
 
 Once we were converted, we too became mission- 
 aries. But a church must first be organized. 
 
The Incipient Church, 29 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 THE INCIPIENT CHURCH. 
 
 Now that we were baptized we felt we w^ere new 
 men; at least we tried to feel so, and to appear so. 
 Within a month we were to give up the humiliat- 
 ing name of the "Freshies," and with the advent 
 of younger brothers below us, we thought we 
 ought to behave more like men and less like chil- 
 dren. Christians and Sophomores ought to be ex- \ 
 emplars in conduct and scholarship to heathens > 
 and Freshmen. But heathenism and Freshman- 
 ism were not to be given up without due farewells 
 to them. At the close of the term, therefore, the 
 converted Freshmen assembled together, — it was 
 not on a Sunday though, — and repeated on a 
 grander scale than ever before a feU of the two 
 isffis we were leaving behind us. Edwin was sent 
 to the farm to procure the biggest squash he could 
 find, together with a quantity of radishes, cab- 
 bages and tomatoes. Francis our Botanist knew 
 where the dandalion leaves could be found, and 
 I was sent with his tin-can to pick up the can-full 
 of these delicious plants. Frederick who was a 
 skilled Chemist and always foremost in both the 
 theory and practice of the Culinary Science, was 
 ready with his alkali, salts, and sugar; and Hugh 
 contributed his proficiency in Mathematics and 
 Physics by kindling the hottest fire for our pur- 
 pose. The literary Paul was always lazy at such 
 a time, though he was second to none when the 
 consumption began. WTien all was ready, a signal 
 
30 Diarj/ of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 was given for the cousiimption, and the whole was 
 dispatched in half an hour. Since then we tried 
 to care less about our stomachs, and more about 
 our souls. 
 
 Before entering into the description of the little 
 '^church" we formed in our private rooms, I must 
 notice here some of the personal traits of its 
 members. 
 
 The eldest of us was Hugh. He was a Mathe- 
 matician and Engineer; was always practical, 
 and had solid cash in view, of course with Chris- 
 tian aim. He need not inquire much into the 
 reasons of Christianity, provided it could make 
 men fair and square in business. He hated mean- 
 ness and hypocrisy of all sorts, and his tact in 
 tricks, of which he had a fertile resource, often 
 cropped out in the "church," inflicting peculiarly 
 painful wounds upon his victims. He has ever 
 been a reliable financial supporter of the church, 
 has often been its treasurer, and calculated 
 "strength of materials" for our new church-build- 
 ing some years afterward. 
 
 Next in age came Edwin. He was a good- 
 hearted fellow, foremost in everything, ready with 
 his tears when his sympathy was called for, and 
 was always serviceable as "Commissioner for Ar- 
 rangement." At Christmas, in Dedication ser- 
 vices, he would often "forget his meals" to have 
 all things look nice and pretty. Dig in theology 
 was not his. Some stories from the illustrated 
 religious papers impressed him more and drew 
 more of his abundant tears than the best argu- 
 ment in "Butler's Analogy" or "Liddon's Bampton 
 Lectures." 
 
 Francis had the roundest character among us, 
 with "malice toward none, and charity toward 
 all." "He is naturally good," we used to say, "and 
 
The Incipient Church. 31 
 
 he need not exert himself to be good." His 
 presence was peace, and when the incipient church 
 was on the point of dissolution on account of 
 personal animosities or odium theologicum among 
 its members, he was the cynosure around which 
 we began to revolve once more in peace and har- 
 mony. He turned to be the best Botanist in the 
 country, and as a Christian layman his service 
 has always been invaluable in the advancement 
 of God's kingdom among his countrymen. 
 
 Frederick, like Hugh, was a practical man, but 
 with shrewdness and insight uncommon with a 
 boy of his age. His favorite study was Chemistry, 
 and he became one of the foremost Technologists 
 in the country. His literary accomplishment was 
 considerable. He mastered German and French 
 without the help of instructors and could enjoy 
 Schiller, Milton and Shakespeare. He doubted 
 some of the fundamental teachings of Chris- 
 tianity, but he early saw the impossibility 
 of disposing of all such difficulties by applying 
 himself at them. He pressed on with a ''pure, 
 spotless life" in view, and as far as human judge- 
 ment goes, he attained it. His too-much practical 
 common-sense was sometimes not very congenial 
 with the boyish air of the '^church." Still he bore, 
 and we bore, and for four long years, he very 
 seldom was absent from the meeting. 
 
 Paul was a ''scholar.-' He often suffered from 
 neuralgia, and was near-sighted. He could doubt 
 all things, could manufacture new doubts, and 
 must test and prove everything before he could 
 accept it. Thomas he should have surnamed him- 
 self. But with his spectacles and all his assumed 
 scholarly airs, he was a guileless boy at heart; 
 and he could join with his comrades in a fete 
 champeti-e under cherry-blossoms in a Sabbath 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
32 Dianj of a Japanese Convert 
 
 afternoon, after tliat very morning having cooled 
 the enthusiasm of the ^'church" with his gloomy 
 and intricate doubts about Providence and Pre- 
 destination. 
 
 Charles was a compound character. He was 
 second only to Frederick in his shrewd common 
 sense, but was more like Paul in his intellectual 
 attitude toward Christianity. He like many 
 other ardent youths tried to comprehend God and 
 Universe by the aid of his intellect, and to con- 
 form himself to the very letter of God's eternal 
 law by his own efforts; in which failing, he oscil- 
 lated to an entirely different aspect of Christiani- 
 ty, and settled in his faith in the ''gospel of good 
 works." He turned to be a learned engineer, and 
 his sympathy in substantial forms can always be 
 relied upon when some practical good is con- 
 templated either within or without the church. 
 
 Jonathan need not confess himself, as he is the 
 subject of our study in this little volume. 
 
 Such were "the seven" that formed the little 
 "church." With us joined for the first two years 
 one S., "Kahau" we nicknamed him, for he ap- 
 peared as stub and acute as that monkey tribe. 
 He was baptized a year before us, and had more 
 of Christian experience than any one of "the 
 seven." 
 
 The Juniors had their religious meetings by 
 themselves, and we, the Christian Sophomores, 
 assembled by ourselves, but in the Sunday even- 
 ing both joined together for the study of the 
 Bible. It was generally acceded, however, that 
 the Sophomores were more earnest than the 
 Juniors, and our meeting was often coveted by 
 the more earnest among the latter. 
 
 Our Sunday services were conducted on this 
 wise: The little church was entirely democratic, 
 
The Incipient Church. 33 
 
 and every one of us stood on the same ecclesiasti- 
 cal footing as the rest of the members. This we 
 found to be thoroughly Biblical and Apostolic. 
 The leadership of the meeting therefore devolved 
 upon each one of us in turn. He was to be our 
 pastor, priest, and teacher, — even servant, — for 
 the day. He was responsible for calling us to- 
 gether at the appointed time, his room was to be 
 our church, and he must look how we were to be 
 seated there. He alone could sit upon a stool, 
 and his people sat before him in the true oriental 
 fashion, upon blankets spread upon the floor. For 
 our pulpit the mechanical Hugh fitted up a flour- 
 barrel which we covered with a blue blanket. 
 Thus dignified, the pastor opened the service with 
 a prayer, which was followed by reading from the 
 Bible. He then gave a little talk of his own, and 
 called up each of his sheep to give a talk of his 
 own in turn. Sometime after we were baptized, 
 Paul made a motion that some eatables be in- 
 troduced to our meetings to serve as '^attractions," 
 to which we all agreed. Therefore, the first thing 
 on a Sunday morning was for the pastor of the 
 day to make collections for this purpose, and to 
 pro\ide for the meeting some sweet things. 
 Frederick favored the quality, but Hugh and 
 Charles urged upon the quantity of these "attrac- 
 tions," but we left the selection to the choice of the 
 pastor. Thus provided, with water and tea be- 
 sides, the service began; and when the pastor 
 finished his talk, his helper distributed the cakes 
 equally among the members; and "talks" went 
 on as we helped ourselves with these refresh- 
 ments. Each one made his own characteristic 
 talk. Hugh's favorite book was "Nelson on In- 
 fidelity," and he condemned unbelief with his 
 usual hatred against unfaithfulness of all sorts. 
 
34 Diary of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 Edwiu would tell liow Susie and Charlie saw 
 the goodness of God in "snow, beautiful snow," 
 and liow the merciful Providence fed helpless 
 little birdies with tender grubs. Frederick's 
 talks were usually short. His usual subjct was 
 the majesty of God, and aw^e and reverence we 
 should pay to Him. Charles would read a page 
 or so from Liddon's "Bampton Lectures" which 
 he specially ordered from England, but he could 
 only half-understand what was stated therein, 
 and we his hearers even less. Paul's talks were 
 essentially argumentative, and were always 
 scholarly and well prepared. Francis never failed 
 to inculcate upon us something solid and thought- 
 ful. Jonathan would pour out his heart before 
 them, whether it be fear or joy that engrossed 
 him at the moment. "Kahau" read a chapter 
 from the ''Village Sermons" which we always en- 
 joyed, but his talks were often altogether too 
 long. Our sweet-meats were consumed usually 
 long before the talks were over, and the rest of 
 the time we kept our mouths moving by the occa- 
 sional draughts of our unsugared and unmilked 
 tea. The dinner-bell at half-past 12 o'clock was 
 the signal for the close of the meeting. The 
 apostolic benediction was said, and on we hast- 
 ened to the dining room, after some four hours' 
 continual sitting upon the hard floor. 
 
 As no religious books in our vernacular were 
 available for our purpose, we had recourse mostly 
 to English and American publications. ]iy the 
 effort of some of our Christian friends, some 
 eighty volumes of the publications of the Ameri- 
 can Tract Society were secured, and the bound 
 volumes of the "Illuslrated Christian Weeklies" 
 were endless sources of enjoyments to us. We had 
 also about one hundred volumes sent by the Lon- 
 
, r J r. The Incipient Church, ^ 35 
 
 Mc^t €^ t^-^e.4^ ^..r^oZ'.<:^>- Ui u>€L.i A^v>, /^nx 
 
 don Tract Society and tlie Soc. of Promoting 
 Christian Knowledge. Later, tlie Unitarian As- 
 sociation of Boston kindly contributed to us a 
 good set of their publications, which too we were 
 not afraid to read. But the books that helped us 
 most were the well-known Commentaries by the 
 lamented Rev. Albert Barnes of Philadelphia. 
 The deep spirituality that pervades these volumes 
 their simple but lucid style and so much of Puri- 
 tanism in them as to serve as healthy astringents 
 upon the young converts in a heathen land, made 
 these commentaries specially useful and fascinat- 
 ing to us. I believe by the end of my college 
 course I read every word in his commentaries 
 upon the New Testament, and the theological 
 stamp of this w^orthy divine has never been re- 
 moved from my mind. Blessed is he that makes 
 good books! 
 
 Our week-day prayer-meeting was held on the 
 Wednesday evening at half-past 9 o'clock. There 
 were no "talks," but all prayed, and it took an 
 hour for the meeting to close. An hour's con- 
 tinual kneeling upon the hard floor was not very 
 comfortable. We learned afterward from our 
 professor in physiology that such a prolonged 
 kneeling, if long continued, might result in syno- 
 vitis of the knee-joints. 
 
 We took comparatively little part in the united 
 Bible-meeting in Sunday evening with the mem- 
 bers of the upper class. There O. the ^'Missionary 
 Monk," S. the '^Eldest," and W. the '^Crocodile" 
 had more ponderous arguments than w^e could 
 offer for the defence and vindication of Chris- 
 tianity. We v»^ere usually glad when this meet- 
 ing was over, w^hen we had our own private 
 service to refresh us once more before we closed 
 this most enjoyable day of the week. 
 
30 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 With these remarks I am ready to give some 
 more of extracts from my diaries. 
 
 June 19, iS7T.^-Went to the theater with 
 the "six brothers." 
 Not three weeks yet after we were baptized! 
 
 July 5. — Received |17.50 as prizes for ex- 
 
 ceHency in my studies. In afternoon, went to 
 
 theatre with the whole class. 
 
 We early disassociated theater-going from Chris- 
 tianity. I did not go with very clear conscience, 
 this for the second time since I was baptized. 
 But this was the last for me in my life thus far 
 to cross the threshold of a theater of any descrip- 
 tion. I have learned, however, in after years 
 that Christians may go to theater without detri- 
 ment to the welfare of their souls, and that many 
 of them really ^^o go. Yes, theater-going may not 
 be a sin as adultery is sin, but if I can get along - 
 without these ''amusements that kill," I believe I 
 can just as well stay away from them without 
 much detriment to my body or mind. 
 
 Sept. 29, Sunday. — Spent the afternoon in 
 the forest Avith the "six brothers." Enjoyed 
 wild grapes and berries, prayed and sang. 
 Very fine day. 
 
 One of those never-to-.be-forgotten days wlien 
 we uplifted our hearts to our Creator in the 
 primeval forest. 
 
 Oct. 20, Sunday.— Climbed the "Stone-Hill" 
 with the "seven brothers." Prayed and sang 
 
The Incipient Church, 37 
 
 as usual. Refreshed with the wild berries od 
 the way back. 
 
 Another such day. We were not permitted to 
 sing in our rooms, neither had we courage to do 
 so, as we sang each in his own way, and there was 
 no "musical melody" in our voices uncultivated 
 and tunes untutored. Paul said he could sing all 
 hymns with 'Toplady," which was really the only 
 tune he knew! Yet, hills and mountains could 
 bear with our music, and God knows that our 
 songs had one element of good music in them — 
 the feeling heart. 
 
 Dec. 1. — Joined the Methodist Episcopal 
 Church through Mr. H. 
 
 The Rev. Mr. H. our beloved missionary was 
 again in the town, and we joined his church 
 without scrutinizing pro or con of his or any other 
 denomination. We only knew he was a good 
 man, and thought that his church must be good 
 too. 
 
 Dec. 8, Sunday. — In evening, had serious 
 talks with the "seven brothers." We con- 
 fessed our inmost thoughts to each other, and 
 promised to bring about great reformations 
 in our hearts. 
 
 The best day we had had since we accepted 
 Christianity. I believe we talked and prayed 
 until long after midnight, for it was not many 
 hours before the day dawned after we went to our 
 beds. Everybody appeared like an angel on 
 that night. The ''spiny" Jonathan, the "knobby" 
 Hugh, and the "scraggy" Frederick were as 
 round as the "globular" Francis on that evening. 
 
38 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 The skeptic Paul found no objections against 
 siicli a Christianity. O for more of such a night 
 like this! Was that night more beautiful than 
 this, when the angelic choir was heard in the 
 heaven, and the Star of Bethlehem led the wise 
 men of the East to the Infant Jesus! 
 
 Dec. 25, Christmas. — Commemorated the 
 coming to the earth of our Savior. No end to 
 our pleasures. 
 
 The first Christmas we have had. The Juniors 
 had '^no faith" for this celebration. They imi- 
 tated us the next year. 
 
 Dec. 29, Sunday. — Etc., etc., about the oil in 
 evening. 
 
 This was the last Sabbath of the year, and the 
 Christian members of both classes were seriously 
 considering all the faults and short-comings of 
 the year that was closing, and all the hopes and 
 possibilities of the year that was coming. Our 
 praj'ers and exhortations were unusually earnest 
 that evening. But all at once we heard some one 
 crying that Prof. I. was back, and that he would 
 demonstrate to us the possibility of making as 
 good light with the rape-seed oil as with the 
 kerosene. The fact was that the government 
 authority passed a decree some weeks ago that 
 imported articles be dispensed with as much as 
 possible, and the kerosene oil coming all from the 
 hills of Pennsylvania and New York must be 
 substituted by the rape-seed oil of our own pro- 
 duction. Our Yankee lamps therefore were all 
 confiscated, and new lamps to burn the vegetable 
 oil were ollered us. P>ut the light so made was 
 miserably poor compared with the light given 
 
TJie Incipient Church, 39 
 
 by the American mineral oil, and this served as a 
 good excuse for neglect in our study. Mr. I. was 
 an instructor in Mathematics, and we did not 
 like him much. That Sunday night he was well 
 saturated with alcohol, and his locomotory and 
 yocal organs were not entirely under his control. 
 To the usual complaints of one of the students 
 about the new lamps, he replied that a little more 
 common sense on our part would prove the case 
 to be otherwise, and he was going to demonstrate 
 to us his statement in a scientific manner. The 
 opportunity was a good one to demonstrate to 
 him how much we regarded him. Both Chris- 
 tians and non-Christians united in this demon- 
 stration. Some of our semi-heathen Junior 
 brothers, such as Y. the "Square-faced," U. the 
 "Good-natured," and T. the "Pterodactyl" threw 
 their Bibles upon the floor, and rushed at once 
 into the scene of excitement. The professor's 
 scientific demonstration was not what he wanted. 
 We took him outside, rolled him in snow, aimed at 
 him a good number of snow-balls, and called him 
 by all kinds of ungentlemanly names. Our 
 Charles who was then in his best religious mood 
 entreated us to withhold ourselves from such un- 
 christian acts, but all in vain. After the- poor 
 professor under the influence of the alcoholic 
 stimulus was well tempered in the snow, the boys 
 returned to the sacred meeting, and there was no 
 St. Ambrose to keep out these little Theodosii 
 from the room of worship. The sensation we ex- 
 perienced that Sunday evening can never be for- 
 gotten. Few penitential prayers were said, and 
 the meeting was adjourned till the next year. 
 Every one of us felt that Christ was not present in 
 that meeting; or if he was, He left it as soon as 
 some of us rushed out of the room to attack our 
 
40 Diarj/ of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 poor professor with snow-balls. How far our 
 practical Christianity was lagging behind our 
 theoretic Christianity, we sincerely felt that 
 evening. 
 
 March 9, 1879. — A change in the way of 
 conducting our prayer-meetings. 
 
 We were afraid of "synovitis" by too much con- 
 tinued kneeling. The general cry was for short 
 prayers. The same things were not to be re- 
 peated in one and the same meeting. This cur- 
 tail led the service to about 20 minutes, and we 
 were not a little relieved. 
 
 I think it was about this time when an episode 
 occurred in our usual prayer-meeting, which I 
 failed to note down in my diary. The day was a 
 Wednesday, and we were quite tired down after 
 three hours' manual labour upon the college farm. 
 After heavy meals and usual drudging over our 
 lessons, we were not in very fine mood to engage 
 in spiritual communion with a Higher Power. 
 But tiie rule was not to be changed, and when the 
 bell rang Frederick who was our pastor for the 
 evening gathered his sheep together for prayer. 
 He kneeled by the flour-barrel, his head imbedded 
 in his folded arms upon the pulpit, and opened the 
 HK^eting with his short pra^^er. The other boys 
 followed him one by one, each wishing that the 
 meeting be closed as soon as possible. We were 
 glad wlien the last one prayed, and were impatient 
 to be excused at once Iby our pastor when the last 
 amen was said. It was said and responded to, 
 but the pastor was silent. His apostolic bene- 
 diction did not come, and nobody else had the 
 authority to adjourn the nuH'ting. There was a 
 perfect silence for about five minutes, — a long 
 
TJie Incipient Church. 41 
 
 time for tliat night. We could kneel no longer. 
 Jonathan was kneeling beside the pastor. He 
 lifted up his head to see what was the matter with 
 Frederick. Behold the pastor was fast asleep 
 upon the flour-barrel, and no wonder no bene- 
 diction camel We might sit up the whole night if 
 we waited for his holj words. Jonathan thought 
 the case was exceptional, and that the rule could 
 be temporarily modified on such an occasion with- 
 out the consent of our "ecumenical council." So 
 he rose, and said in a solemn voice: ''As our 
 brother Frederick fell asleep, God will pardon me 
 to exercise the pastor's office. May the grace of 
 our Lord Jesus Christ, etc. Amen." "Amen" all 
 responded, and up came our tired heads. But 
 Frederick's was upon the barrel, as immovable as 
 a log. Charles shook him, and he awoke. He 
 was going to dismiss us with his benediction, — ^he 
 did not forget his duty in the dreamland, — but it 
 was already said, and we were ready to separate. 
 It was too bad for Frederick that he slept on his 
 pulpit, but we could all forgive him, for we were 
 all very sleepy on that night. Even the holy 
 Apostles slept while their Master was praying, 
 and why not vre young Christians after hard 
 labor and good square meals! 
 
 May 11, Sunday. — Cherry-blossom hunting 
 in afternoon. 
 
 May 18, Sunday. — Excursion to the forest 
 in afternoon. 
 
 June 2, Monday. — The anniversary of our 
 new birth (that is, of baptism). Tea-party 
 
42 Diarj/ of a Japanese Convert 
 
 with the seven brothers, and pleasant conver- 
 sations for several hours. 
 
 The conmiemoratiou of our spiritual birth-day. 
 I see no reason why we should not remember this 
 day, and have as nice time as on the day our 
 mothers gave us birth to this weary earth. Yet 
 with many a Christian both in my country and 
 others, the spiritual birth-day seems to have not 
 half as many kind words and beautiful presents as 
 the day of the advent of our perishable body to 
 this earth. 
 
 June 15, Sunday. — The day of festival for 
 the guardian god of the district. Very much 
 distressed. But I did see horse-race, I did 
 accept invitation from Francis^ uncle (for 
 ^•^cardinal pleasures") and I did gormandize. 
 Alas! 
 
 Our puritanic Sabbath was much disturbed by 
 the heathen festival, and I yielded to the tempta- 
 tions. "Though I would do good, evil was present 
 with me; and with the flesh I served the law of 
 sin. O wretched man that I was!'' 
 
 The summer of 1879 I spent in my home in the 
 metropolis, some GOO miles south of where my 
 college was, the good Francis accompanying me 
 in the travel. The chief aim I had in taking this 
 long journey was to preach the gospel of Christ 
 to my father and mother, brothers and sisters. It 
 was ver}^ pleasant to come home after two years' 
 absence from it. Wherever there was a mission 
 station on our way, we called upon our Christian 
 friends, and religion was tlie main topic of our con- 
 versations. I told my mother that I became a new 
 man in S., and that she too must become what I 
 
The Incipient Church, 43 
 
 became. But she was so mucli taken up with the 
 joy of seeing her son again that she cared nothing 
 about what I told her about Christianity. Usual 
 oblations were offered to the family idols to re- 
 turn thanks for my safe arrival, which of course 
 gave me sore pain in my heart. I often retired to 
 my closet to beseech my Savior to save this 
 heathen home. I did sinc ereh^^beljexeJJiat unbap- 
 tized -souls werejjg the^da^ger of eternal con -^ 
 demnation in the hell, and my whole energy was 
 directed toward the conversion of my family mem- 
 bers. But the mother was indifferent, the father 
 was decidedly antagonistic, and my younger 
 brother who afterward became a fine Christian 
 was so provoking as to have turned a copy of the 
 Epistle to the Romans which I gave him into a 
 ''codex rescriptus," writing in between the sacred 
 columns something to show his contempt of Chris- 
 tianity. Yet I persevered and continued on pray- 
 ing, till near the time of my departure for my col- 
 lege I succeeded in extracting from my father a 
 promise to examine the faith I implored him to 
 receive. 
 
 While in the metropolis, I met with many 
 "brothers and sisters," and feasted upon sermons 
 and addresses which it was wholly impossible to 
 hear in the place where my college w^as. I be- 
 lieved that Christians were an entirely different 
 set of people from heathens, and that the fellow- 
 disciples of Christ ought to stick closer than 
 brothers to each other. We knew such was the 
 case among the brethren in our little church, and 
 thought the same was true throughout the church 
 universal. So confident, so unsuspicious, we were 
 received with welcome everywhere, and we 
 thought our beliefs on that point were correct. 
 We saw several good churches, with pulpits, not 
 
44 Diary of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 like ours made of a flour-barrel, rows of benches 
 far superior to our blue-blankets spread upon the 
 hard floor, organs to attune voices, etc. They all 
 made us eagerly anticipate the time, when after 
 finishing our college-course we would have a 
 cliurch made for us like those we saw in the more 
 civilized part of our country. There also we were 
 taught in many things, and among the rest, how to 
 say our grace before our meals. This we never 
 had done thus far, and w^e w^ent at once to our 
 meals, as dogs and heathens do when they are 
 hungry. We paid a visit to a native Methodist 
 minister, and there was also present with him one 
 Mr. Y., a young Presbyterian. They asked us to 
 stop for the dinner, which we gladly did; and 
 when a little wooden stand with a cupfull of white 
 rice, a fish, and some vegetables upon it was placed 
 before each of us, Francis and I in our usual sav- 
 age style, lifted our chop-sticks, and proceeded 
 right at once to help ourselves. Mr. Y. then 
 gravely said, ^'Do you not pray before you eat? 
 Let us pray." We stood abashed, laid our sticks 
 down, bowed our heads as they did, and waited 
 for the outcome. The grace was said, but we 
 hesitated to commence eating, for we were afraid 
 we might be asked to do something more. They 
 then kindly told us to begin. I still remember 
 every word that was said then, and everything 
 that wan offered me to eat. The fish was a gray 
 sole, with five black horizontal bars across its 
 back, its mouth on the left side of the body and 
 making a curvature a little above the pectoral fin. 
 I did observe all this while I cast down my eyes 
 in shame and confusion. But the lesson once 
 tauglit has never been forgotten since. We 
 taught it to our brethren when we returned to 
 our college in the Fall, and the "grace-less" meals 
 
The Incipient Church, 45 
 
 soon fbecame signs of the reprobate* among as. 
 On many an occasion in after years, where religion 
 was held in scorn and contempt, and prayers be- 
 fore meals were watched with ridicule, I have 
 never failed to stick to the practice I learned in 
 a Methodist minister's room. 
 
 Aug. 25, Monday.— Reached S. at 7 P. M. 
 No end to the joys of the brethren to see us 
 again. Deeply impressed with their love and 
 faithfulness. 
 
 Glad to be in our College-home once more. We 
 found a table well spread with tea and sweet 
 things waiting us. We told the brethren all what 
 we saw in the metropolis, mostly about churches 
 and Christians there. The impressions of the 
 metropolitan churches upon us were not alto- 
 gether satisfactory. We might just as well re- 
 main contented with the flour-barrel pulpit and all 
 the rustic simplicities of our own little ''church.'' 
 
 Aug. 31, Sunday. — Meeting very interest- 
 ing. 
 
 It could not be otherwise after the absence of 
 two of its members for about two months. 
 
 Nothing worth noting down to the end of the 
 year. There was one experiment, however, which 
 we tried in our Sunday services, which must have 
 taken place sometime 'between this and Christ- 
 mas. We got tired with our "talks,'' and some 
 changes in the methods of conducting our meet- 
 ings were very desirable. One of us made a sug- 
 gestion that we might prepare ourselves during 
 our College days to meet infidels whom we would 
 be sure to meet when we went into the world. 
 We all discussed the plan, and concluded that the 
 
46 DUtnj of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 best metli6d would be to divide the ''churcli" into 
 two divisions, one representing the Christian and 
 the other the infidel side, and to let each division 
 take the two sides alternately. The members of 
 the infidel side were to ask all manner of ques- 
 tions which infidels might ask, and those of the 
 Christian side were to answer them. The plan 
 was agreed upon, and it was to be carried into 
 practice from the next Sunday. 
 
 On that day, — the first Sabbath when the meet- 
 ing was conducted on the new method, — we divid- 
 ed the members into two parties by lots, Charles, 
 Jonathan, Frederick and" Edwin falling into the 
 Christian side, and Francis, Hugh, Paul and 
 ^'Kalian" into the skeptic or infidel side. A ^Yar- 
 burton, a Chalmers, a Liddon and a Gladstone 
 were arrayed on one side, and a Bolinbroke, a 
 Hume, a Gi'bbon and a Huxley on the other. 
 After prayers and distribution of eatables as 
 usual, the engagement began. The subject of the 
 day was the ''Existence of God." Fi'ancis the first 
 skeptic attacked Charles the first apologist. To 
 the challenge that the Universe could have existed 
 by itself, Charles brought forth arguments show- 
 ing that matter had unmistakable characteristics 
 of manufactured articles (the argument borrowed 
 from Maxwell, I suppose), and that as such it 
 could not be self -existing. The first attack was 
 repulsed, and our faith was nobly defended. The 
 practical Hugh had not many formidable argu- 
 ments to array against Christianity, and Jona- 
 than's task was not a difficult one to meet his 
 objections. Now it was conclusiveh^ proved that 
 this Universe must have had its Creator, that this 
 Creator was self-existing, and that He was Al- 
 mighty and All-wise. But now it was Paul's turn 
 to make an assault, and Frederick was to meet 
 
The Incipx€m^Miwy^^\^^^ 47 
 
 him. They had not been on yery friendly terms 
 for some days, and we were afraid of the outcome 
 of such an encounter. We haye ah-eady seen that 
 the scholarly Paul had more doubts than he could 
 answer; and the present occasion gaye him the 
 first-rate opportunity to pour out the stiffest doubt 
 he could manufacture in his neuralgic head. '^I 
 grant," he began, ''that this Uniyerse is a created 
 Uniyerse, that God is All-wise and Almighty, and 
 that nothing is impossible with this God. But 
 how can you proye to me that this God, after He 
 created this Uniyerse and set it in motion so that 
 it can grow and deyelop by itself with the poten- 
 tial energy imparted by Him, — that this Creator 
 hath not put an end to His own existence and 
 annihilated Himself. If He can do a// things, 
 why cannot He commit suicide!" An intricate, 
 almost blasphemous question ! How can the prac- 
 tical Frederick dispose of this question? Our 
 eyes were fixed upon the perplexed apologist, ,ind 
 even the infidel side was solicitous about Fred's 
 answer. For a moment he was silent, but the tri- 
 umphant Paul still pressed on with his attack. 
 Frederick must say something. Mustering his 
 courage, he said in a scornful way, "Well, only 
 fools will ask such questions." "Why, fools? 5'Ou 
 call me a fool then?" retorted the exasperated 
 Paul. "Yes, I should say so," was Frederick's de- 
 termined answer. Paul could hold himself no 
 longer. "Brethren," he said, as he rose and beat 
 his breast, ''I can bear this company no longer." 
 Away he rushed out of the room, the door yio- 
 lently shut after him, and we heard him groaning 
 till he reached his own room. The rest of us were 
 taken up with dismay. Some said Paul was 
 wrong, others that Frederick was wrong too. The 
 important question in issue was laid aside. We 
 
48 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 were now anxious liow to reconcile the belligerent 
 parties. The meeting was closed without further 
 discussions, and the new plan was given up alto- 
 gether. We found out that we ourselves had 
 more doubts than we could answer, and that 
 perhaps the best way w^ould be for us to solve 
 them in our own hearts with the help from on high. 
 The next Sunday we resumed our old method, 
 and the lion and the ox did lie together in peace. 
 
 Dec. 24, Christmas Eve. — Examination in 
 surveying. Busy with Edwin in arranging 
 for the evening. The meeting began at 7 P. 
 M. All the Christians were present as one 
 body. Eatings and tea-drinkings and mis- 
 cellaneous talks till 11 P. M. No end to our 
 pleasures. 
 
 Our upper-class men united with us in the 
 Christmas feast this year. The commemoration 
 was made on a grander scale than it was the last 
 year. The college kindly lent us a recitation hall 
 which we nicely decorated, and enough contribu- 
 tions were made to make the festival truly enjoy- 
 able. There was wrestling of a white and red 
 ^^Darumas,"* the latter very ingeniously fitted up 
 by one John K., an upper-class man. Y. the 
 *'Square-Faced" rolled himself into the effigy, and 
 when it first appeared everybody thought it was 
 nothing but a common idol, ''with eyes that see 
 not, and ears that cannot understand." All at 
 once, however, its eyes began to move, the ''apodal 
 Daruma" stood upon its own feet, two arms were 
 
 * Dharma, — a Chinese Buddhist, whose images are 
 common toys for children. He is usually represented as 
 having no feet. 
 
The Incipient Church. 49 
 
 thrust forth through his sides, and the whole 
 began to dance. Then a white Daruma came out 
 to meet him, and the two wrestled under the 
 umpireship of Jonathan. O, it was such fun! 
 When they retired, there came out a savage, 
 naked except round his loin, and the same was 
 no other than S. the ^Eldest," who as the tallest 
 and oldest 'boy^mong fhFL'Jiristiai^rwas'aTwajs 
 looked upon as ouFleader in religious matters. 
 He danced in this formidable attire, and retired. 
 We did laugh till our diaphrams were well nigh 
 gone down. We were so glad that our Savior 
 came down to the earth to save us. Four hundred 
 years ago, Savonarola instituted such holy car- 
 nivals in Florence, and the monks danced as they 
 sang. 
 
 ''Never was there so sweet a gladness, 
 Joy of so pure and strong a fashion. 
 As with zeal, love, and passion. 
 Thus to embrace Christ's holy madness. 
 Cry with me, cry now as I cry. 
 Madness, madness, holy madness!" 
 
 Dec. 25.— Meeting at half-past 10 o'clock. 
 The greatest pleasures (holy) since we came 
 to S. 
 
 This was a true thanksgiving meeting. No 
 tea or cakes in this meeting. There were prayers 
 and serious talks, S. the ''Eldest" leading the 
 meeting. O. the "Missionary Monk" gave us a 
 talk on the history and raison d'etre of the Christ- 
 mas festival. Indeed everybody was serious that 
 morning. I heard in New Orleans that Lent with 
 its fastings and penance is preceded by carnivals 
 
50 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 of the wildest sort. Onl^^ we were not so in- 
 duljiijent as the Louisianians. 
 
 Nothing further is noted down till 
 
 March 28, 1880, Sunday. — Meeting greatly 
 declines in interest. 
 
 We could not hold ourselves in white heat all 
 the while. Indeed, there was a decided flagging 
 in our enthusiasm all through the spring of this 
 year. Sometimes some petty affairs among the 
 members disturbed the peace and harmony of the 
 whole ^^church.'^ Once we prayed with our faces 
 turned toward the walls, saying something 'insin- 
 uating" in our prayers, not to be heard, of course, 
 by our Father in Heaven, but by the one these 
 words were aimed at. Yet with all these, we for- 
 sook not "the assembling of ourselves together." 
 Heb. X, 25. 
 
 June was a busy month to us religiously. We 
 celebrated our second anniversary of our new 
 birth with the usual hilarity. The snow having 
 melted and the fair w^eather setting in, we had 
 visits from three missionaries in succession, — one 
 American and two British, — and our hungry souls 
 were fed with good supplies of sermons and other 
 religious instructions. The Hon. Mr. U., a British 
 consul in a neighboring sea-port, was also here, 
 and in the house where he sta^^ed, there was held 
 an Episcopal service on the grandest scale we 
 ever had witnessed so far. The general impres- 
 sion of the service upon the boys was that it was 
 I somewhat ^'Buddhistic," its liturgy and surplice 
 / being not entirely consonant with our idea of 
 simplicity in religion. The notable event in this 
 service was the demeanor of our semi-heathenish 
 U. the ''Good-Natured," T. the 'Pterodactyl," and 
 
The Incipient Church, 51 
 
 some others, who burst into a loud laughter when 
 they saw two English ladies saluting each other 
 by bringing their lips in contact. We read in the 
 Bible how Laban kissed his sons and daughters, 
 but had never seen the actual kissing before. 
 Our misdemeanor was really inexcusable. 
 
 In July the upper-class graduated, and the 
 cause of Christianity was much strengthened 
 thereby. There were eight Christians among 
 them, viz.: S. the "Eldest," O. the ''Missionary 
 Monk," U. the "Good-Xatured," T. the ''Ptero- 
 dactyl," John K. an Episcopalian, W. the "Croco- 
 dile," K. the "Patagonian" and Y. the "Square- 
 Faced." All very nice fellows; and notwithstand- 
 ing the semi-heathenish appearances of some of 
 them, and remnants of sinful and tricky propen- 
 sities inherited from their ancestors, they were 
 in the bottom of their hearts genuine Christian 
 gentlemen. We take a photograph together, 
 dine together, and discuss about the erection of a 
 house of worship in a near future. Within a 
 year, we the remaining eight shall join them, and 
 together we shall carry the Gospel of Christ to the 
 people among whom we live. 
 
 Sept. 18 — The Rev. Mr. D. arrives here. 
 
 Sept. 19, Sunday. — Made a call upon Mr. D. 
 
 Sept. 20. — An English service by Mr. D. in 
 
 the evening. 
 
 Mr. D. took the place of our beloved mission- 
 ary Mr. H., and he was now on the second visit 
 to our place. W^e had something to tell him 
 about our plan for the future church, to which 
 he did not give all his consents. 
 
52 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 Oct. 3. — Consultation about the new church 
 building-. 
 
 Now that several Christians have gone out 
 Into the active world, we may have a church of 
 our own; and we are not idle in planning for it. 
 
 Oct. 15. — The Revs. Messrs. Den. and P. are 
 here. We meet them at Mr. N.'s. 
 
 Have frequent visits from missionaries this 
 year. Messrs. Den. and P. are Episcopalians. 
 Our movements are calling forth the attention of 
 the religious world, and we are not neglected. 
 
 Oct. 17, Sunday. — Meeting at Mr. S.'s. Six 
 
 baptisms. Holy Sacrament at 3 P. M. 
 
 Xumbers are being added to our holy company, 
 thank God. One thing we were sorry about; 
 i. e. there were distinct tendencies toward our hav- 
 ing two churches in the little place, one an Episco- 
 palian, and the other a Methodist church. "One 
 Lord, one faith, one baptism," w^e began to ponder 
 in our hearts. What is the use of having two 
 separate Christian communities, when even one 
 Is not strong enough to stand upon its own feet. 
 We felt for the first time in our Christian experi- 
 ence theeyila of denomjnational i^m. 
 
 Nov. 21, Sunday. — All the Christians of the 
 place are in the meeting. 
 
 Since our upi)er-class men graduated, we have 
 not had a full meeting for a long while. Now that 
 we meet all togetlier, we discuss once* moio about 
 the new church, — its scope, its constitution, the 
 advisability of having but one church in the 
 place, etc. 
 
The Incipient Church. 53 
 
 Dec. 26, Sunday. — Perplexed about "Elec- 
 tion." 
 
 Our little churcli discusses once more about tlie 
 doctrine of Election. Tlie cliaiDter of the morning 
 was Rom. IX. 
 
 In the old Bible which I spoiled pretty thor- 
 oughly with underscorings and marginal-notings 
 with inks of diverse colors, I find a large interro- 
 gation mark (?) hanging like a large fish-hook over 
 the awful and mysterious chapter. Our Paul's 
 pessimistic conclusion was this: "If God made 
 one vessel unto honour and another unto dis- 
 honour, there is no use of attempting to be saved, 
 for God will take care of His own, and we shall 
 be saved or damned notwithstanding all our ef- 
 forts to be otherwise." A similar doubt torments 
 e^ ery ruminating Christian in every clime. Well 
 let it be by, for we cannot afford to give up the 
 Bible and Christianity because we cannot com- 
 prehend the doctrine of Election. 
 
 Jan. 3, 1881. — Invitation from "Palmyra." 
 Games and lots till 9 in the evening. 
 
 Our Christian baccalaureates had their home, 
 several of them domiciling under one roof. As 
 their nest lay in the midst of a large farm, away 
 from the habitations of human kind, we called 
 it by the name of the city of the beautiful Zenobia, 
 '^the city in the Desert." Such invitations were 
 quite frequent, and they did much to knit our 
 hearts together. We had our love-feasts, more 
 substantial than those of the followers of Wesley, 
 in that ours consisted of beef, pork, chicken, 
 onion, beet, potatoes, all thrown into one iron pot 
 and boiled therein. The Christians, both men 
 and women, surrounded the metallic receptacle 
 
54 Dianj of a Japanese Convert 
 
 and feasted therefrom. Not much of etiquette in 
 this, of course; but oftentimes severit}^ in eti- 
 quette is inversely proportional as the square-of 
 distance between^ tlie— eonimuning heartsJ "Men 
 rwtnrate Tice out of the same ketlTe" is our popular 
 1 saving about the intima.cy well nigh approaching 
 \ the bond of blood-relationship; and we believed 
 \and still believe in the necessity of some other 
 bonds of union for those who are to fight and 
 suffer for one and the same cause than the break- 
 ing of bread and drinking of wine by the hand of 
 an officiating minister. Could such a band be 
 divided into "two €^iur^€*---a5:£n_though minis- 
 ters'of two denominations wrote the stgn: 
 Cross upon our foreheads? Yea, we are one,- 
 the chicken we boiled in our kettle was one, and 
 a large potato which Jonathan shared with Hugh 
 after it came out of the stove w^as one. 
 
 Jan. 9, Sunday. — Am appointed one of the 
 Committee for the construction of the new 
 church. 
 
 The new church was decided upon, and a com- 
 mittee was appointed therefor. It consisted of S. 
 the "Eldest," W. the "Crocodile," O. the "Mission- 
 ary Monk," Edwin and myself. 
 
 March 18, Friday. — A meeting of the Com- 
 mittee. Decide upon the lot and the building. 
 
 We had a letter from Rev. Mr. 1). telling us 
 that the Methodist Episcopal Church of America 
 would help us with four hundred dollars to build 
 a new church for us. We did not wish 
 to have it given us; we would only bor- 
 row it, to be returned at the earliest pos- 
 sible opportunity. There was a strong 
 
The Incipieni Church. 55 
 
 reason for having such a desire, which we shall 
 see bye and bye. The lot was to cost one hundred 
 dollars, and the rest we would spend upon the 
 building. But, wait, brethren, four hundred dol- 
 lars in Mexican silver will be some seven hundred 
 dollars in our paper money; and are you sure 
 you can pay up all this sum within a year or so, 
 each of you receiving, as you do, only thirty 
 dollars for your monthly salary? Uh! Serious! 
 We want, and must have a church, but to be 
 indep , well we don't know\ 
 
 March 20, Sunday. — Our carpenter comes 
 
 and presents us his estimate for the new 
 
 church building. 
 
 The plan of the building looks nice, but we 
 must incur debt for making such a church. Uh! 
 
 March 24, Thursday. — Money-order arrives 
 
 from Mr. D. Have it cashed in the bank. A 
 
 meeting of the Committee in evening. Write 
 
 a letter to Mr. D. 
 
 The money finally comes. Jonathan is to be 
 the treasurer for a time; and he brings four-inch- 
 thickness of paper money into his room in the 
 college dormitory. It is the largest sum of money 
 he ever has handled in his life. But look, my soul, 
 the money is not thine, neither is it properly the 
 church's. // is to be 7-eturned; use it with caution. 
 
 March 31. — Marriage ceremony of John K. 
 at 7 P. M., Rev. Mr. Den. officiating. Enter- 
 tainment with tea and cakes afterward. In- 
 
56 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 finite pleasures till 10 P. M. The first mar- 
 riage among the S. Christians. 
 
 John an Episcopalian was the first among the 
 Christian bojs to enter into the state of matri- 
 Dionial bliss. The ceremony was conducted in an 
 Episcopalian style, the bride and the bridegroom 
 exchanging their rings at the altar. It was quite 
 a departure from the custom we had been used to 
 in our country. At the table where refreshments 
 were served up, several boys made speeches one 
 after another, and bade success and God-speed 
 to the new couple. But we could hardly believe 
 that he who fitted up a red Dharma for us on a 
 Christmas eve w^as now a husband! "The Lord 
 make the woman that is come unto thine house 
 like Rachel and like Leah, which two did build 
 the house of Isreal." Ruth IV, 11. She might in 
 a similar manner help to huild up the house of 
 God we w^ere planning then. 
 
 March 31. — The church matter getting into 
 troubles. The Committee meets in evening, 
 and decides to give up the idea of a new 
 building. 
 
 The fact was, the lot of land which we proposed 
 to buy was not to be had, and as it was not pos- 
 sible to find another lot, "we must either hang our 
 church in the air," as K. the "Patagonian" sug- 
 gested, "after the fashion of Queen Semiramis' 
 garden, or give up the idea of the new building 
 altojrother." And we were not sorry that we 
 came to such a conclusion, for we were extremely 
 afraid of runninf,^ into a big debt; and if we could 
 have any place for worship — be it ever so humble 
 — we would greatly prefer it to a stately building 
 built upon our credit. 
 
The Tncipknt Church. 57 
 
 April 1. — The carpenter is away, and the 
 matter gets into further trouble. 
 
 April 3.— S. the "Eldest" talks with the 
 carpenter, and the matter looks to settle 
 fairly. 
 
 April 15. — Decide to pay $20 to the car- 
 penter. 
 
 The obtrusive Edwin, one of the members of the 
 Committee, made an arrangement with the car- 
 penter to have the timber ready within a fixed 
 period. The carpenter therefore sent his men to 
 mountains to hew the wood. The difficulty was 
 this: Solomon made a verbal contract with 
 Hiram to have a temple built for him in Jerusa- 
 lem. Hiram believed in Solomon; so he sent his 
 men at once to the Lebanon to cut down its cedars 
 for the royal purpose. But subsequently Solomon 
 found out that the Mt. Moriah where he intended 
 to build his temple was not to be had, for some 
 one else had already possessed it; and he was not 
 very willing to run in debt with Pharaoh, which 
 was necessary in order to execute Ms plan. So he 
 gave up the plan of building the temple. But 
 the Lebanon was resounding with the axes of the 
 men of Hiram chopping wood for Solomon. Mean- 
 while Hiram went down to Zidon on his own 
 business account, so that Solomon could not find 
 him out to tell him of the change that was made 
 about the new building. Each day that Solomon 
 delayed in transmitting the news to Hiram in- 
 volved either party in further troubles ; and Solo- 
 mon and his councillors became uneasy. At last, 
 Hiram returned to Tyre, 'Solomon informed him 
 that the temple was not to be built, and asked him 
 
58 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 to call back all his men from the Lebanon. But 
 Hiram's men had been in the mountains for over 
 two weeks, and a considerable number of cedars 
 and cypresses had been alreadj^ cut down and pre- 
 pared for timbers; and Hiram wanted. to have the 
 loss covered by Solomon. Solomon asks his coun- 
 cillors about the matter. B. the "Eldest" and W. 
 the "Crocodile'' read something in Bentham and 
 John Stuart Mill, and they think that as Solomon 
 did not put his royal seal upon the contract made 
 with Hiram, therefore Solomon has no legal obli- 
 gation to pay for Hiram's loss. But the king's 
 other councillors, O. the "Missionary Monk" and 
 Jonathan, think otherwise. 'Hiram trusted in 
 Solomon's words as the words of one who believes 
 in Jehovah and His covenant; and it makes no 
 difference whether the royal seal was put or not. 
 The king must pay, or else the house of David 
 shall lose the confidence of the public. But S. 
 and W. are strong in their legal convictions, and 
 the whole people of Israel approve their agree- 
 ments. O. and Jonathan, however, cannot bear 
 such a course. They meet one cold winter 
 morning upon snow, and there come into 
 the conclusion that they shall bear the 
 responsibility by themselves. They see Hiram 
 privately, tell him that they themselves 
 are poor, but that they are sorry to see him un- 
 fairly treated. iHiram is touched with the sin- 
 cerity of the two men of Isreal, says that he too 
 shall bear a part of the loss, and that |20 from the 
 Isrealites will satisfy him. Jonathan is yet a 
 student, and his regular income is only ten cents 
 a week. O. pays the whole sum, and Jonathan will 
 settle account with him when the latter will 
 graduate from the colh^ge in the next July. The 
 whole dilllculty was thus settled with little self- 
 
The Incipient Church. 59 
 
 sacrifice on the part of the two of Solomon's 
 councillors. Subsequently, U. the *'Good-Na- 
 tured" and Hugh came to the help of O. and 
 Jonathan, and shared part of the debt the last 
 two incurred. — A petty affair not worth mention- 
 ing, my readers may say; but such an experience 
 like this teaches us more about God and man than 
 whole lots of theologies and philosophies we diye 
 into. 
 
 April 17, Sunday. — Take walk w4th Charles 
 in afternoon to seek a house. The Committee 
 meets at the house of S. the "Eldest." 
 
 A new building being giyen up, we begin to 
 find out a house already built. 
 
 April 24. — Meet with O., and consult with 
 him about the church. 
 
 April 30. — Call upon O. The independence 
 of the church is spoken of for the first time. 
 
 We are not yery successful in haying a house 
 of worship. The members are getting somewhat 
 discouraged. Our Episcopalian brethren haye al- 
 ready their house of worship; and why cannot 
 we become one, and all assemble in their church? 
 "Necessity is the mother of inyentions." Our fail- 
 ures in haying a church droye us to a higher and 
 nobler conception of Christian unity and inde- 
 pendence. It was the Spirit that was guiding us! 
 
 May 15, Sunday. — The church meets in 
 "Palmyra," and discusses about independ- 
 ence. Opinions are various. The meeting 
 
60 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 closed Avithout coming into any definite con- 
 clusion. 
 
 The matter is getting to be more serious. Let 
 all the Christians meet, and discuss about this 
 most important question of the church independ- 
 ence. Jonathan is young, idealistic, and impul- 
 sive. He sees no difficulty in separating ourselves 
 from the existing denominations and in consti- 
 tuting ourselves into a new and independent body. 
 But S. the "Eldest" and W. the ^'Crocodile" are 
 prudent, and they will not tiave such rashness 
 committed among us. U. the ''Good-Natured" and 
 O. the "Missionary Monk" take sides with Jona- 
 than, but are not so confident of success as he. 
 We came to no definite conclusion on that after- 
 noon. 
 
 May 22, Sunday. — The church independ- 
 ence is getting to be the public opinion among 
 its members. Meet with O. in evening, and 
 draw up a constitution with him. 
 
 May 23. — Meet with O., and consult with 
 him about the church affairs. Entertained 
 with buck-wheat by him. 
 
 The cry for independence is getting upper-hand. 
 O. and Jonathan attempt a draft of the constitu- 
 tion for the would-be independent church. The 
 idea that two boys of twenties should undertake 
 a task which baffled the biggest heads of Europe 
 and America! Preposterous! But courage! "for 
 God hath chosen the foolish things of the world 
 to confound the wise." But let us refresh our- 
 selves with buck-wheat when we ^et tired. 
 
 Near the end of the month, 'Mr. D. made his 
 
The Incipient Church. 61 
 
 third visit to us, and ministered unto us with 
 sermons, baptisms, and the Lord's supper, as 
 usual. But we could not very well conceal from 
 him our intention of separating ourselves from his 
 church, — the Methodist Episcopal Church, — and 
 he was not very well pleased with such an inten- 
 tion. He returned to his mission station after 
 staying with us for nine days, — not the happiest 
 visit he had made to us. 
 
 Meanwhile, our college-days were coming near 
 their end. 
 
 June 26, Sunday. — The last Sabbath in the 
 college. The brethren spoke out their hearts 
 in the meeting. W. offered prayer. I spoke 
 that for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven I 
 would choose no place w^here I might be sent 
 to. Charles spoke how he would work for the 
 Kingdom's sake while engaged in a secular 
 work, and he strongly maintained the import- 
 ance of this phase of the Christian Tvork. 
 Then Francis, Edwin, Paul, Hugh followed, 
 and told how^ much they were benefitted by 
 our meetings during our college days. Y. 
 gave us an exhortation. Z. laid stress upon 
 the improvement of human hearts as the 
 work of mankind. ^^Kahau'' also had some- 
 thing to tell of his feeling. Frederick prayed 
 at the close of the meeting. No such meet- 
 ing during all our college days. 
 
 A most impressive meeting. The "church" 
 which met through hot and cold, in love and 
 
62 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 hatred, during four long years, was now to be 
 dissolved. Good-bve to the hour-barrel pulpit! 
 We may in the da^'S to come visit Boston, and 
 worship in its Tremont Temple or Trinity Church ; 
 or roam through Europe, and hear the sacred 
 mass at the Notre Dame in Paris, or at the famed 
 cathedral in Cologne; may receive the papal bene- 
 diction at kSt. Peter's, Rome; but the charm, the 
 sacredness that attended thee when Frederick or 
 Hugh passed the apostolic benediction from thee 
 shall never be surpassed. Good-bye to the be- 
 loved water jug which drew us together to f east- 
 ings both sacred and profane! Wine that we may 
 partake from golden chalices shall never have 
 that communing power with which the cool spark- 
 ling liquid as it came out of thy mouth knitted 
 our heterogeneous hearts into one harmonious 
 whole. Good-bye, ye blue blankets! The ''pews" 
 ye offered us were the comfortablest we shall ever 
 have. Good-b^^e to the little "church" with all its 
 "attractions" and childish experiments; its bick- 
 erings and insinuating prayers; its sweet talks 
 and Sunday-afternoon feasts! 
 
 "Sweet Sabbath School ! more dear to me 
 
 Than fairest palace dome, 
 My heart e'er turns with joy to thee, 
 
 My own dear Sabbath home. 
 
 "Here first my wilful, wandering heart, 
 
 The way of life was shown; 
 Here first I sought the better part, 
 
 And gained a Sabbath Home. 
 
 "Here Jesus stood with loving voice, 
 
 Entreating me to come. 
 And make of Him my only choice, 
 
 In this dear Sabbath Home." 
 
The Incipient Church. 63 
 
 **Sabbath Home! Blessed Home! 
 My heart e'er turns witli joy to tliee, 
 My own dear Sabbatli Home." 
 
 July 9, Saturday. — The commencement 
 day. Military drill at 1:15 P. M. Literary 
 exercises begin at 2. The orations were as 
 follows: 
 
 How Blessed is Rest after Toil, — Edwin. 
 
 The Importance of Morality in the Farmer, 
 — Charles. 
 
 Agriculture as an Aid to Civilization, — 
 Paul. 
 
 The Relation of Botany to Agriculture, — 
 Francis. 
 
 The Relation of Chemistry to Agriculture, 
 — Frederick. 
 
 Fishery as a Science, — Jonathan. 
 The distribution of diplomas by the president 
 amidst loud applause. ****♦*♦ 
 
 I thank my Heavenly Father for all the 
 honors of this day. The day for leaving the 
 college is at hand ; and as I think of the heavy 
 responsibility I have to bear, how I must go 
 among the sons of Satan (the world), I feel 
 how strong should my faith become. Joys 
 there are in my heart, but tears are not want- 
 ing. I only pray for the grace to serve my 
 Heavenly Father with all humility. 
 
64 Diari/ of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 The class entered the college with twenty-one. 
 By illness and defection, we were reduced to 
 twelve when we graduated. Seven of them were 
 Christians, and they were the seven which 
 occupied the first seven seats on the day 
 of graduation. One main objection of the 
 non-Christian part of the class against 
 Christianity was that it did not allow them 
 to study on Sundays. We the Christians 
 accepted this Sabbath law; and though our 
 examinations began always on Monday mornings, 
 Sundays were days of rest to us, and Physics, 
 Mathematics, or any thing that pertained to 
 ''flesh" was cast aside on holy days. But lo! at 
 the close of our college days, when all our '"marks" 
 were summed up, we the Sabbath-keepers were 
 given us the first seven seats in the class, were 
 to make all the class speeches, and to carry away 
 all the prizes but one! Thus we gave one more 
 proof of the ''practical advantage" of Sabbath- 
 keeping, saying nothing of its intrinsic worth as 
 a part of God's eternal laws. 
 
 Seven more were now added to the "contri- 
 butable" force of Christians, and a true, veritable 
 church might now be had. Had it not been our 
 dream to have a real church, — not a toy church, — 
 as soon as we went out to the world? Before we 
 thought of having homes or making money, we 
 thought of building a church. Let us, as our John 
 said in his sermon, "disperse heathens as we do 
 street-dogs," and conquer men, devils, and all, 
 with our united force and courage. 
 
 "In the lexicon of youth, which fate reserves 
 for a bright manhood, there is no such word as 
 — fail."— Lytton. 
 
A New Church and Lay 'Preaching. 65 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 A NEW CHURCH AND LAY-PREACHING. 
 
 As soon as we graduated from our college, each 
 of us was offered a position with a salary of thirtv 
 dollars a month. We were taught in practical 
 sciences, and were intended to develop the ma- 
 terial resources of our country. We never have 
 swerved from this aim. In Jesus of Nazareth we 
 saw a man who was the Savior of mankind by 
 being the son of a carpenter, and we his lowly 
 disciples might be farmers, fishermen, engineers, 
 manufacturers, and be at the same time preachers 
 of the gospel of peace. Peter a fisherman and 
 Paul a tent-maker were our examples. We never 
 have construed Christianity as a hierarchy or ec- 
 clesiasticalism of any sort. We take it essentially 
 as people's religion, and our being "men of the 
 world" are of no obstacles whatever for our being 
 preachers and missionaries. We believe, no more 
 consecrated set of young men e^er left a hall of 
 learning than we when we left our science college. 
 Our aim was spiritual, though our training and 
 destinations were material. 
 
 After I finished my college-course, I made an- 
 other visit to my home in the metropolis, this 
 time all the ''six brethren" coming up with me. 
 Our stay in the city was thoroughly enjoyable. 
 We had many invitations from missionaries, were 
 lauded for what little we had done; were asked to 
 speak of our experiences in their meetings. We 
 
 f^ OF THK ^>'X 
 
 I UNIVEBSITY l 
 
G6 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 studied the construction of churches, and the 
 ways of managing them, to apply them in our own 
 church when we returned to our place. Though 
 coming from the far north, from amidst primeval 
 forests and bears and wolves, we found we were 
 not the least intelligent among Christians. What 
 we heard from the Hour-barrel pulpit and talked 
 about upon the blue blankets, were not the crud- 
 est thoughts when compared with the teachings 
 and cultures of the metropolitan churches. On 
 some points, indeed, we thought we had pro- 
 founder and healthier views than our friends who 
 were nurtured under the care of professional 
 theologians. 
 
 I also carried on my missionary work among 
 my friends and relatives, as I had done two years 
 ago. The arch-heretic was my father, who with 
 his learning and strong convictions of his own, 
 was the hardest to approach with my faith. For 
 three years I had been sending him books and 
 pamphlets, and had written him constantly, im- 
 ploring him to come to Christ and receive His sal- 
 vation. He was a voracious reader and my books 
 were not entirely ignored. But nothing could 
 move him. He was a righteous man as far as 
 social morality was concerned, and as is always 
 the case with such a man, he was not one who felt 
 the need of salvation most. At the close of my 
 college course, I was again awarded with a little 
 sum of money for m3' study and industry, and I 
 thought of using it in the most profitable way 
 possible. I prayed my God over it. Just then a 
 thought occurred to me that I might take some 
 presents to my parents; and no better articles 
 were suggested to me for this purpose than the 
 commentary on the Gospel of St. Mark, written 
 by Dr. Faber, a German missionary in China. 
 
A New Church and Lay -Preaching, 67 
 
 The work was in five Tolumes, and as a product 
 of sound and broad scholarship in the learnings 
 of the people for whom it was intended, it w^as, 
 and still is, very highly spoken of. It was written 
 in unpointed Chinese, and I thought the difiiculty 
 of reading it, if not anything else, might whet my 
 father's intellectual appetite to peruse it. I in- 
 vested two dollars upon this work, and 
 carried it in my trunk to my father. But 
 alas I when I gave it to my father, no 
 words of thanks or appreciation came from 
 his lips, and all the best wishes of my 
 heart met his coldest reception. I went into a 
 closet and wept. The books were thrown into a 
 box with other rubbishes; but I took out the first 
 volume and left it on his table. In his leisure 
 when he had nothing else to do, he would read 
 a page or so, and again it went into the rubbish. 
 I took it out again, and placed it upon his table as 
 before. My patience was as great as his reluc- 
 tance to read these books. Finally, however, I 
 prevailed; he went through the first volume! He 
 stopped to scoft' at Christianity! Something in 
 the book must have touched his heart! I did the 
 same thing with the second volume as with the 
 first. Yes, he finished the second volume too, and 
 he began to speak favorably of Christianity. 
 Thank God, he was coming. He finished the third 
 volume, and I observed some change in his life and 
 manners. He would drink less wine, and his be- 
 haviors toward his wife and children were be- 
 coming more affectionate than before. The fourth 
 volume was finished, and his heart came down! 
 "Son," he said, ''I have been a proud man. From 
 this dav, you may be sure, I will be a disciple of 
 Jesus."^ i took him to a church, and observed 
 in him the convulsion of his whole nature. Every- 
 thing he heard there moved him. The eyes that 
 
68 Diari/ of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 were all masculine and soldierly were now wet 
 with tears. I/^ 7vonld not touch his wine any 
 viore. Twelve months more, and he was baptized. 
 He has studied the Scripture quite thoroughly, 
 and though he never w^as a bad man, he has been 
 a Christian man ever since. How thankful his 
 son was, the reader may judge for himself. — 
 Jericho fell, and the other cities of Canaan were 
 captured in succession. My cousin, my uncle, my 
 brothers, my mother, and my sister, all followed; 
 and for ten years, though the hand of Providence 
 hath dealt quite bitterly with us, and we have 
 been made to pass through many a deep water; 
 and though the faith we ow^ned has made us re- 
 pulsive in the eyes of the world, and much of the 
 comforts of life were to be given up for His name's 
 sake, I believe we are still second to no other 
 family in the land in our love and loyality to our 
 Heavenly Master. Four years ago, another mem- 
 ber was added to our family. She came to us as 
 a "heathen," but within a year, no woman was 
 more faithful to her Lord and Savior than she. 
 The good Lord removed her away from us after 
 she remained with us only a year and a half; but 
 her coming to us was her opportunity of finding 
 the Savior of her soul; and in Him confiding she 
 passed into His joy and bliss, after fighting right 
 nobly for her Master and country. Blessed is she 
 that sleepeth in the Lord, and blessed are we all 
 whose bond is in Him and is spiritual. 
 
 In autumn I returned once more to my field 
 of activity in the north. I took my younger 
 brother with me, as my family was poor, and I had 
 to unburden my parents, now that T became a 
 salaried man. T entered into a copartnership with 
 Edwin, Hugh, Charles, and Paul, and we together 
 kept a house. It was a continuation of our college 
 
A New Church and Lay -Preaching, 69 
 
 life, only with a little more of freedom and com- 
 fort in it than in our school dormitory. 
 
 Oct. 16, Sunday. — Mr. K. preaches in the 
 morning. We meet for the first time in our 
 new church in the South Street. 
 
 Mr. K. was a Presbyterian; not a college gradu- 
 ate, but a precious addition to our Christian com- 
 munity. He was a young man yet, but a man of 
 deep spirituality and extensive Christian experi- 
 ences. 
 
 During our absence in the metropolis, O. the 
 "Missionary Monk'' was industrious in finding a 
 house of worship for us. The place he hit upon 
 was one half of one building, and was procured 
 at the cost of two hundred and seventy dollars. 
 Our portion was about 30 x 36 feet, two stories 
 high, the roof shingled, and had a garden twice 
 as extensive as the house itself. It was built as 
 a tenement house, and a kitchen and fire-places 
 occupied a very large part of it. We rented the 
 two rooms in the upper story to help the general 
 expense of the church. The basement floor was 
 all fitted up for the church. Hugh ordered for us 
 six strong benches, and they were reserved for the 
 male part of the attendants. Ladies sat upon 
 straw mats, right in front of the pulpit which 
 consisted of an elevated platform and a table of 
 the simplest construction. But it was a decided 
 improvement upon the flour-barrel pulpit in our 
 "incipient church." When there were more at- 
 tendants than these seats could hold, a large fire- 
 place which was a rectangular space cut into the 
 floor, was covered with pine boards; and blankets 
 spread upon them afforded seats for about ten 
 more. The house was crowded to its utmost ca- 
 
70 Dian/ of a Japanese Convert 
 
 pa city when fifty were present, and in winter- 
 time when a stove occupied a large space in front 
 of the pulpit so that a smoke-pipe hid the face of 
 the preacher from the view of the male population 
 of the congregation, every nook of the house was 
 filled by a human species of some kind, sitting 
 or reclining as it seemed most comfortable to 
 him. We had an organ too by this time. It was 
 given us by our friend. Rev. Mr. Den., — not the 
 most perfect of its kind, but good enough for the 
 congregation it was to lead in the holy music. The 
 kind Providence provided a musician to play upon 
 this instrument in the person of one Mr. F., who 
 likewise was another valuable addition to the 
 church. As the ceiling was not more than ten feet 
 above the floor, the bellow of the organ swelled 
 hy the chorus of fifty or more untutored voices 
 shook the building with discordant vibrations of 
 the most dreadful kind. The peace of our neigh- 
 bors who lived next door to our wall w^as thus 
 much infringed upon, and their complaints which 
 were not altogether unjust were constant. And 
 woe was he, who boarded in the upper story! The 
 Sunday being the best day in the week, the breth- 
 ren resorted to the house of worship from very 
 early in the morning; and not till the evening ser- 
 vice was over at 10 p. m., and they all retired to 
 their nests, was the house free from human voices 
 of some kind. For the first time in our lives we 
 had a house of our own, and we used it as no 
 house was ever used. The eldest member of the 
 church who had recently joined us, called it an 
 *'inn," where we might drop in at any time in our 
 life-journey to recu])erate ourselves; and his 
 dropping-ins were as frequent as the moments of 
 rest he needed in his busy life in an advanced age. 
 It was a reading-room, a class-room, a committee- 
 
'A Neiv Clmrcti and Lay-Preaching, 71 
 
 room, a refresliment-room, and a club-room at tlie 
 same time. Laughters tliat almost burst our 
 diaphrams, sobs of penitence that touched our in- 
 nermost hearts, arguments that wearied the big- 
 gest and soundest of our heads, and talks about 
 markets and money-making schemes, were all 
 heard in this most convenient of houses. Such 
 was our church, and we never have seen the like 
 of it in the whole world. 
 
 The work for union and independence was 
 pushed on quite vigorouslv. Our Episcopalian 
 brethren and sisters would give up their house 
 of worship and join with us, and thev brought 
 with them their books and organ. The Church 
 Missionary Society of England that helped them 
 to buy the house would use it for its own purpose, 
 and its "converts" would unite with us Methodists 
 to pay back our debts to the Methodist Episcopal 
 Mission. Both parties were to leave their re- 
 spective denominations as soon as the debts were 
 paid over, and the two to constitute themselves 
 into one independent native church. The plan 
 was agreed upon, and we on our part felt no 
 difficulty about it. Only our outside friends dis- 
 cussed much about the propriety and feasibility 
 of the plan, and the grave difficulties that might 
 lie in our future. But w^e were blind as to our 
 future, and thanks to our "blessed ignorance,'' 
 the union was effected without any of the diffi- 
 culties anticipated by our over-solicitous friends. 
 
 The constitution of the new church was the 
 simplest that can be imagined. Our creed was 
 the Apostle's Creed, and the church discipline was 
 based upon the "Covenant of the Believers in 
 Jesus," drawn up by our New England 
 professor five years ago. The church was 
 managed by a committee of five, one of 
 
72 Dianj of a Japanese Convert 
 
 them the treasurer. All common business 
 was transacted by them; but when matters 
 came up that the Covenant did not touch upon, 
 such as the admission and dismission of members, 
 the whole church was called together, and the 
 votes of the two-thirds of the whole membership 
 was required to carry them into effect. T/ie 
 church required every one of its me?nders to do 
 something for it. No one of them was to be idle, 
 and if he could not do anything else, let him saw- 
 wood for our stove. Everybody was responsible 
 for its growth and prosperity, and in this respect 
 O. the ^'Missionary Monk" was no more responsi- 
 ble than our little "Miss Pine," the tiniest member 
 of our church. Of course, not every one of us 
 felt like preaching. So, O. the "Missionary Monk," 
 W. the "Crocodile," John the "Episcopalian," and 
 Jonathan occupied the pulpit in turn, and Mr. 
 K. our Presbyterian friend helped us considerably 
 in this line. Hugh was our faithful treasurer, and 
 kept our accounts by the double-entry system of 
 book-keeping. There was a special visiting com- 
 mittee, where our good Edwin appeared most 
 conspicuously. The younger of our members 
 formed a colporteur party, selling Bibles and 
 tracts among the neighboring towns and villages. 
 Many of us stayed mostly outside of the town, in 
 exploring new lands, in surveying, in railroad 
 construction, etc.; but they were all busy in 
 Christian works as we at home. We will see 
 further on how the whole machinery worked for 
 the great aim we had in view. 
 
 Oct. 23.— We constitute a Y. M. C. A. Am 
 
 appointed a vice-president. 
 
 Special works for young men became impera- 
 tive, and a Y. M. C. A. was added to our works. 
 
A New Church and Lay-Preaching, 73 
 
 The idea we got wMle we were in the metropolis 
 last summer. 
 
 Nov. 12. — The opening meeting of Y. M. C. 
 A. The audience, about 60. Entertainment 
 with tough rice after the meeting. A very 
 prosperous gathering. 
 
 Our little church was filled to its utmost ca- 
 pacity. Tough rice is rice steamed with red beans, 
 and is usually served up on occasions of congratu- 
 lation. It tastes good, but our dyspeptic friends 
 better not touch it, for only tough stomachs can 
 bear it— I remember I was one of the speakers 
 of the day. My subject was: "The Relation of 
 the Seal lop-Shell to Christianity." The point was 
 to reconcile Geology with the' Book of Genesis; 
 and the scallop-shell was especially chosen for 
 this purpose, as our species Pecten yessoensis was 
 the commonest mollusk on our coast, and its shells 
 were abundantly found as fossils. Such words 
 and phrases as "Evolution," "the Struggle for 
 Existence," and ''the Survival of the Fittest" were 
 being heard in our circles; and a blow was found 
 necessary upon the atheistic evolutionists who 
 were beginning to make some figures in our coun- 
 try about that time. My subject sounded odd, 
 and the boys heard me well. 
 
 Nov. 15, Tuesday.— Meet with W. and O. at 
 3 P. M. and consult about the church. The 
 whole congregation meets at 4, and discusses 
 about the future of the church. — One hundred 
 dollars (flOO) in U. S. gold sent by Prof. Dr. C. 
 is received. 
 
 A preliminary meeting of three members of the 
 
74 Diavji of a JujxincHc Convert. 
 
 committee was followed by tlie general gathering 
 of the whole congregation. Now that we set sail 
 on the boisterous sea of the practical life, we 
 found the human existence to be a more real and 
 serious affair than we had imagined in our class- 
 rooms. Things did not move as we willed and 
 planned. Not every one of us was in red-hot earn- 
 estness about the church, and some flaggings of 
 interest w^ere recognizable in certain quarters. 
 We had already run into a debt of four hundred 
 dollars, and the general expense of the church 
 was not small, though we paid nothing to our 
 preachers. How to meet all these difficulties w^as 
 the question to be decided in the meeting. No 
 good thoughts were coming. Only let us be pre- 
 pared to unstring our purses, for we might be re- 
 quired to give all we had for the cause. We 
 separated with sighs and anxieties. — O. the ''Mis- 
 sionary Monk" returns to his nest, and behold, 
 something is w^aiting for him. A cheque for one 
 hundred dollars in U. S. gold sent for the church 
 by the originator of the "Covenant of the Be- 
 lievers in Jesus," sent away from his home in New 
 England! Jehovah-jireh, — the Lord will pro- 
 vide! Lift up your heads, ye brethren! We are 
 not forsaken by the Father in Heaven. The good 
 news spreads through the congregation, and hope 
 revives within us. 
 
 Dec. 18, Sunday. — Severe snow-storm. I 
 preached. Much distressed by the snow 
 being driven into the church. 
 
 Our cheap wooden structure w^as not snow- 
 proof, and our ladies' quarter was not available 
 for use on that day. The sledge that carried them 
 stuck in the snow, and they had a hard time in 
 
A New Cliurcli and Lay -Preaching, 75 
 
 reacliing their home. >We forget not such a meet- 
 ing in such a weather. 
 
 Dec. 29, Thursday. — Busy through the 
 whole afternoon. All things were ready be- 
 fore dusk. The meeting began at 6 P. M. 
 Brethren and sisters to the number of 30 were 
 present. The best meeting we have had in S. 
 All spoke of their hearts, and enjoyed the 
 evening freely till half-past 9 o'clock. 
 
 The usual Christmas festival was postponed 
 till this day, when all the members of the church 
 could be back in the town. This was essentially 
 a Christian gathering; no more wrestling of 
 Dharmas and dancing of a savage as in the Christ- 
 mas of two years ago. The joy we felt this even- 
 ing was truly spiritual. The year in whole was a 
 successful one, and the works we had accom- 
 plished were not small. Sweet were the pleasures 
 after toils! 
 
 Jan. 1, 1882, Sunday. — All meet in the 
 church in afternoon and express their feel- 
 ings. Letters from Messrs. D. and H. Much 
 distressed. 
 
 The fact was, while we were saying Happy- 
 New- Year's to one another, rejoicing in God's 
 blessings for the year that had just gone by, two 
 letters were received by us, one from Rev. Mr. H. 
 our beloved missionary friend, and the other from 
 Rev. Mr. D. The latter was a short, incisive letter, 
 stating briefly that he could not very well give 
 his consent to our plan of forming an independent 
 church, and asking us to pay back to him by tele- 
 
76 Dianj of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 gram any part of the money which his church had 
 forwarded to lis to build a house of worship. His 
 letter was construed as his avowed dissent from 
 our procedure, which was enforced by a require- 
 ment to square our accounts with his church if we 
 would separate ourselves from his denomination. 
 And such a construction of his letter was not 
 wholly unreasonable, for our financial state must 
 have been well known to him, and his words were 
 too few to carry any sentiments of real sympathy 
 in our motive. If the Methodist Episcopal Mission 
 lent us monej' that we might start its denomina- 
 tional church in our place, we should never have 
 asked its aid. Our independence was not in- 
 tended as a revolt against Methodism, but as an 
 expression of our real attachment to our heavenly 
 Master, and of the highest sentiment of our love 
 to our nation. We borrowed the money, though 
 the mission said it would be given us. We w^ere 
 all young then, and our animal spirit w^as high 
 too. ''Let's pay it at once. Prof. C.'s money is 
 still untouched, and let the church chest be 
 emptied to the last cent to clear our debt!" said 
 one. "Agreed! Pay on!" all rejoined. Jonathan 
 was charged to consult with Hugh the treasurer, 
 and to send to Mr. D. by a telegraphic money 
 order all the available sum of money in the church 
 treasury. I believe nothing knitted the two 
 Christian bodies of the place more firmly than 
 this very unwelcome letter on the first day of 
 January. 
 
 Jan. G.— Send |200 to Rev. Mr. D. by tele- 
 graphic money order. 
 
 We tried to comply with Mr. D.'s requirement 
 at once by paying him all our debt to his denomi- 
 
A. Isfew Church and Lay-Preaching. 77 
 
 nation. But tMs we could not do with all our 
 possible means. We had been taxing our breth- 
 ren pretty heavily, and we could not exact any 
 more from them. Prof. C.'s money formed the 
 main bulk of the present installment. We were 
 not very happy in letting go the money so soon 
 after it reached us. 
 
 Jan. 7. — Busy in arranging for the Dedica- 
 tion Service of to-morrow. 
 
 Jan. 8. — The Dedication Service of the S. 
 Church begins at 2 P. M. 
 
 The attendance about 50. To-day we dedi- 
 cate this church to God. May His glory shine 
 forth in this district from this place. 
 
 The common burden v/e had to bear knitted our 
 hearts together, and we might now enter into a 
 formal union, and publicly dedicate to God the 
 church of our own. The little wooden building 
 shook with the hallelujahs of fifty united voices, 
 — woe to our poor neighbors I Our organ, whose 
 two keys were out of tune, bellowed forth the 
 loudest anthems at the touch of Mr. F.'s fingers. 
 Unto the name of the Most High God we dedicate 
 this humble dwelling, the best and utmost of all 
 we can offer! Let this be the veritable Shekinah, 
 and His presence be as real in it as in the gorgeous 
 temple of the wise son of David. He liketh a 
 broken and contrite heart under whatever garbs 
 it dwells; and the church that He liketh best has 
 no need of pipe-organs, stained glass windows, 
 and baptismal fonts. A clear January sun shined 
 upon plain unvarnished benches through two win- 
 dows partly covered by curtains of the coarsest 
 texture, as our good O. passed his benediction 
 
78 Diary of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 upon tlie humble crowd tliat bowed in gratitude. 
 We could almost hear in the dry bracing wintry 
 air the voice of Him who said, ''Of a truth I say 
 unto Tou, that this poor widow hath cast in more 
 than they all." Luke XXI, 2. 
 
 Feb. 16, Thursday.— Meet with O. W., and 
 John to frame rules for the S. Church. Mon- 
 day, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday are fixed 
 as the days for meeting. 
 
 Now that we dedicated our house of worship, 
 some written forms af the church regulations be- 
 came imperative. Four of the members of the 
 Executive Committee were empowered to prepare 
 drafts of such rules. We were to consider what 
 should rule this most unique of Christian 
 churches, — to preserve all that were essential in 
 Christianity, and to adapt them to our new sur- 
 roundings. For seven days the discussions con- 
 tinued, which resulted in a rough frame-work of 
 the church organizations. The meeting was 
 0])ened with prayers and closed with prayers. 
 We were awfully earnest, and disposed of articles 
 after articles as we surrounded a little fire-place 
 and heard a tea-kettle singing for us a resonant 
 music with its steam-jets. Jonathan's dashing 
 thoughts were tempered by O.'s cool judgement; 
 and John's opportune ideas were corrected by 
 W.'s legality to adjust them to the time. The 
 whole now needed the consent of the church 
 council to become effective. 
 
 March 6. — Removed to the church-build- 
 ing. 
 
 They offered me a room in the upper story of 
 the church, but not for nothing. I was charged 
 
A New Church and La y-P reaching. 79 
 
 to sweep tlie meeting-place, to look after the 
 church-library, and to take up all the duties of a 
 janitor and a sexton; and to pay to the treasury 
 two dollars a month as my room-rent. I have not 
 seen such a convenient church-officer anywhere 
 else. From this day, my room became a regular 
 resorting place of the brethren. 
 
 March 13. — Made a mutual pledge to clear 
 the church debt by the October of this year. 
 
 Our debt-paying must not be indefinitely de- 
 layed. Let every body make up his mind to pay 
 his portion within the specified time. Suppose 
 you give up your European restaurant for ten 
 months; that will help you to pay half your 
 portion. Suppose you go with your old jacket and 
 pants until the next year; that will enable you to 
 fill up your share of the common burden. The net 
 income of each of us was twenty-five dollars a 
 month, and we were to pay a whole month's salary 
 by the October next. 
 
 Sept. 2 — Set out to the A-mill with Brother 
 Ts. I preached in the evening. 
 
 Sept. 3. — Left the A-mill in morning. Stop- 
 ped at Mr. H.'s and preached. The outlook in 
 the Mill is hopeful. 
 
 The opening of a preaching station in the A — 
 mill is one of the most memorable episodes in our 
 church history, and one that illustrates the 
 methods of our united Christian work better than 
 any other work we had accomplished. The mill 
 was about fifteen miles from our place, up in a 
 mountain district, where the Government had 
 recently introduced an American turbine wheel 
 
80 Dianj of a Japanese Convert 
 
 to reduce huge pine forests to shingles and tim- 
 bers. A carriage road was to be constructed from 
 our phice to the new mill, and surveyors were 
 sent out to reconnoitre for the new highway. It 
 so happened that our U. the "Good-Natured" was 
 the chief-surveyor in this expedition, and w4iile 
 he was engaged in his work, he did what he could 
 to introduce the Bible and Christianity to the 
 little colony that was formed around the mill. 
 As soon as the route was determined upon, the 
 final survey was entrusted to Hugh, our church- 
 treasurer, who during his stay in the mountain 
 succeeded in bringing one very precious soul to 
 •Christ, O. nicknamed the ''Apodal." Now that 
 the road was surveyed, the man who was appoint- 
 ed to construct it was Mr. H., another member of 
 our church. He too labored for Christ among 
 his colleagues, and his words in the dead silence 
 of the primeval forest were not without effects. 
 Before the road was fairly finished another 
 worthy soul was won for the Master. Meanwhile 
 the seed which U. the "Good-Natured'' had sown 
 in the mill was sprouting and making good 
 growth. The people there were impatient for 
 the opening of the new road, and tliey sent us 
 words to come and preach the Gospel to them, 
 So 1 was sent with Brother T. on this errand, 
 and we were the firf^t that trod the road which 
 was reconnoitred by a Christian, surveyed by a 
 Christian, and built by a Christian. Before a 
 single piece of timber was carried over this road, 
 the feet of those that carried the glad tidings 
 of Peace were upon it. It was essentially a "Chris- 
 tian" road, and ''the Way" we called it. ''Every 
 valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and 
 hill shall be made low," that the King of Glory 
 may come in. 
 
A New Church and Lay-Preaching. 81 
 
 Sept. 23, Saturday. — A national holiday. 
 Not a speck of cloud in the sky. At 1 P. M. all 
 gathered at the church, and together pro- 
 ceeded to the museum ground. There were 
 poem-makings, tea-parties, and ring-throw- 
 ing. All enjoyed the day completely. 
 
 This was a "field day" for our church-members, 
 which we repeated usually twice a year, — in 
 spring and in autumn. While we were yet ''hea- 
 thens/' we had such /eU chajnpeire, with poison- 
 ous drinks to cause unnatural exhilarations, and 
 '*deyil-ings," as plays were called where one of 
 us nominated a ''deyil'' was to catch any one who 
 strayed out of the "heayen,'' and he who was 
 thus caught was to be a deyil himself. But the 
 new religion had ameliorated our tempers, and 
 though we enjoyed open air and innocent plays 
 as much as eyer before, we substituted poem- 
 makings and tea-drinkings to "deyil-ings" and 
 alcohol-drinkings; and the pleasures we deriyed 
 from such a change we found to be far superior 
 to what our unconyerted friends were still indulg- 
 ing in. I haye already told my readers how we 
 knitted our hearts together in winter-time around 
 one common iron kettle. Either when ''snow- 
 bound," or on the "museum ground," we counted 
 much upon these social gatherings for the effect- 
 iveness of our united church-work. 
 
 Between this and the end of the year, nothing 
 worth mentioning came in our experiences. I 
 was busy both in religious and secular works. 
 The condition of the church was fairly settled 
 by this time. As we had pledged early this year, 
 the money to be paid back to the M. E. Mission 
 was gradually coming in. Not everybody paid his 
 
82 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 portion very willingly, but pay lie did neverthe- 
 less. Near the close of the year, John and I 
 were in the metropolis, and we were entrusted 
 with the money to square our accounts with the 
 mission. 
 
 Dec. 28. — Drew money from the Bank, and 
 paid it to Rev. Mr. S. 
 
 S Church is Independent. 
 Joys inexpressable and indescribable! 
 
 The result of two years' economy and industry 
 was our freedom from the church-debt, and well 
 we might leap with joy and thanksgiving. Here 
 is our Magna Chart a: 
 
 ^'1181.31. Metropolis, Dec. 28, 1882. 
 
 Rec'd of Mr. Jonathan X., the sum of One 
 Hundred and Eighty One Dollars and Thirty One 
 Sen, being the Balance due the M. E. Mission, 
 on account of a Loan (|698.40) to the S. Christians, 
 to assist them in building a church, in the year 
 1881. J. S." 
 
 We were thankful that we now owed no man 
 anything, except in our sense of gratitude for 
 the help extended toward us, enabling us to use 
 the money without i?iterest for two years. 
 
 They do err who think that our church-inde- 
 pendence was intended as an open rebellion 
 against the denomination to which we once be- 
 longed. It was an humble attempt to reach the 
 one great aim we had in view; namely, to come 
 to the full consciousness of our own powers and 
 capabilities (Ciod-given), and to remove obstacles 
 in the way of others seeking Ood's Truth for the 
 salvation of their souls. He only knows how 
 
A Xeic Church (Did La y-P reaching. 83 
 
 much lie reallj can do who knows how to rely 
 upon himself. A dependent man is the most 
 helpless being in this universe. Many a church 
 complains of its lack of means whose members 
 could afford to spend much upon unnecessary 
 luxuries. Many a church can stand upon its own 
 feet if but its members could forego some of their 
 "hobbies." Indepeiidence is the conscious real- 
 ization of one's 0W71 capabilities; and I believe 
 this to be the beginning of the realization of many 
 other possibilities in the field of human activity. 
 This is the kindliest and most philosophic way 
 of looking at independence of any kind. To stig- 
 matize it as a rebellion, or as an instigation of 
 the unthinking mass by a few ambitious men, 
 is not generous, especially in a Christian, whose 
 peculiarity should be that he '"thinketh no evil.'' 
 
 Dec. 29.— The members of the S. Church 
 who were present in the metropolis assemble 
 at Francis' at 1 P. M. Together we went to 
 the "Plum Restaurant" in the Morning Grass 
 Park, and supped together, and celebrated 
 the Independence of our Church. 
 
 This was our first "Fourth of July." I think 
 there were with us Francis, W. the ''Crocodile," 
 and T. the "Pterodactyl." The last in his usual 
 savage style swallowed the contents of the first 
 cup of soup that was brought to him ; and after- 
 ward asked the waitress what was in the soup. 
 Upon being answered that there w^ere some tiny 
 clam-shells in it, he confessed that he was so glad 
 of church-independence that he sent everything 
 that was in the cup through his oesophagus with- 
 out the process of mastication taking place upon 
 
84 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 it in liis ante-pliarvngeal cliamber. I think the 
 real explanation of it was he was really very 
 hungry. 
 
 With the independence of my church, I took 
 my farewell of it. The church needs a separate 
 history for itself, to describe it in all its bearings 
 upon the great question of the evangelization of 
 nations. Four years ago, I paid a visit to my 
 old home-church, and to my most grateful satis- 
 faction, I found it in a very much more prosper- 
 ous state than when I left it thirteen years ago. 
 I found O. the ''Missionary Monk" the same faith- 
 ful pastor, receiving not a cent for his whole- 
 souled devotion to his church, earning a liveli- 
 hood by teaching in the college where I gradu- 
 ated. The members numbered some 250. They 
 engaged two salaried evangelists, had a prosper- 
 ous Y. M. C. A., originated and sustained a strong 
 temperance union. During 1885, the year that 
 witnessed the greatest activity among the Chris- 
 tians of all denominations in our land, the amount 
 of contribution per capita of some of the more 
 influential churches were as follows: 
 
 Independent Native Church |7.32 
 
 Congregational Church 2.63 
 
 Presbyterian and Dutch Reformed 2.00 
 
 Methodist Church 1.74 
 
 English Episcopal Church 1.74 
 
 The comparison speaks too well for our own 
 church. They built a new church costing some 
 one thousand dollars, and though it looked some- 
 what like a "nigger church" which I saw in Vir- 
 ginia, it was a decided improvement upon that 
 ''one-half of one building" whose janitor and sex- 
 ton I once was. A new organ they had too, with 
 
A Neio Church and Lay-Preaching, 85 
 
 kejs all in order. They were speaking of erecting 
 a new stone-church before long. It is really the 
 only church in the whole country, which is inde- 
 pendent in the full significance of that term. 
 Xot only financially, but ecclesiastically and theo- 
 logically, they were carrying on their Christian 
 works upon their own responsibilities, with the 
 happiest results. They have a system and princi- 
 ples peculiar to their own, and we believe the 
 Lord wants them to retain those peculiarities 
 as sacred. They have a special mission to fulfill, 
 let no one disturb them in their simplicity and 
 contentment. 
 
86 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 OUT INTO THE WORLD.— SENTIMENTAL CHRIS- 
 TIANITY. 
 
 "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring 
 her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably 
 unto her. And I will give her vineyards from 
 thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope; 
 and she shall sing there, as in the days of her 
 youth, and as in the day when she came up out 
 of the land of Egypt. And it shall be at that 
 day, saith the Lord, that thou shalt call me Ishi; 
 and shall call me no more Baali." — Hoshea, II, 
 14, 15, 16. 
 
 So my Lord and Husband must have said to 
 Himself when He drove me from my peaceful 
 home-church. He did this by creating a vacuum 
 in my heart. Nobody goes to a desert who has 
 his all in his home. Nature abhors vacuum, and 
 human heart abhors it more than anything else 
 in the Universe. I descried in myself an empty 
 space which neither activity in religious works, 
 nor success in scientific experiments, could fill. 
 What the exact nature of that emptiness was, 
 I was not able to discern. 'May be, my health 
 was getting poor, and I yearned after repose and 
 . easier tasks. Or, as I was rapidly growing into 
 > mj manhood, that irresistible call of nature for 
 companionship might have made me feel so hag- 
 gard and empty. At all events, a vacuum there 
 was, and it must be filled somehow with so^ne- 
 
'Sentimental Christianity. 87 
 
 fh'ng. I thought sotnetJmig there was in this 
 vague universe which could make me feel happy 
 and contented; but I had no idea whatever of 
 what that something was. Like a pigeon that 
 was deprived of its cerebrum by the knife of a 
 physiologist, I started, not knowing whither and 
 wherefore, but because stay I could not. From 
 this time on, my whole energy was thrown into 
 this one task of filling up this vacuum. 
 
 April 12, 1883. — Depression ; no spirit. 
 
 April 22. — Repented my past sins deeply, 
 and felt my total inability to save myself by 
 my own efforts. 
 
 Incontestable signs that the good Angel was 
 coming down occasionally to disturb the stagnant 
 pool of my soul, that healing might come to it 
 some future day. 
 
 May 8.— The Third Great Gathering of 
 Christians opens at 9 A. M. in the New Pros- 
 perity St. Presbyterian Church. I repre- 
 sented the S. Church. Prayers and business 
 in morning. Reports on the state of the Faith 
 throughout the land, in afternoon. The be- 
 lievers number 5,000 in all. The meeting ad- 
 journed at 6 P. M. 
 
 This was some twenty years after Christianity 
 was first introduced into my country. The be- 
 lievers numbered 5,000 among 40,000,000 of the 
 entire population; — a small flock indeed, but fired 
 with holy ambition to leaven the whole mass of 
 Ignorance and superstition around them within 
 
88 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 a quarter of a century! This sanguine hope was 
 based upon a calculation made by one Mr. T., an 
 elderly brother of the most optimistic type of 
 mind, that even if each of the five-thousand 
 Christians be so lazy as to lead but a single soul to 
 Christ in one year, the congregation ought to 
 swell to many times the number of living souls 
 in the whole land within that short period. The 
 fact was the increase in the number of new con- 
 verts had been from 25 to 33 per cent, for the last 
 three or four years, and the coolest heads among 
 us did not doubt 25 per cent, as the average in- 
 crease for the coming quarter of a century. Writ- 
 ing now, however, ten years after this memorable 
 meeting, I have a sad task of telling my readers 
 that history has proved quite otherwise from 
 what we expected or prophesied. They say there 
 are now 35,000 Christians throughout the land, 
 and that the yearly average of increase is rapidly 
 falling. Yes, a nation cannot be converted in a 
 day! Let it be! Our aim is qualitative as well 
 as qua7ititative. A man who for the first time 
 in his life saw a baby grow, thought that as it 
 gained a pound in a w^eek, therefore it ought to 
 be as big as a good-sized elephant when it would 
 get to be thirty years of age. Either our own 
 laziness or God's own wisdom has always kept 
 the numerical value of the believers at compar- 
 atively low figures. 
 
 Be the future whatever it might, our dream on 
 that day was resplendent with glory. It was 
 unanimously agreed upon that a veritable Pen- 
 tecost did set in after it had ceased to be a human 
 experience for over eighteen centuries. And there 
 was every sign that such was truly the case. 
 First, there was much groaning for sins. Every- 
 body wept, and he was considered a block-heart 
 
Sentimental Christianity. 89 
 
 who could not weep on such an occasion. Some 
 miraculous conversions were reported. It was 
 said that a group of children of a mission school 
 were so endowed with the power of spirit that 
 they captured a poor Buddhist pilgrim in a street, 
 prayed with him, and argued with him, stripped 
 his sacerdotal robe from him, and compelled him 
 to own Jesus as his Savior. A young man, con- 
 spicuous among his fellows for his stammering 
 tongue, was said to have had the restraint re- 
 moved from him, and to have preached with all 
 the fire and freedom of the Apostle Peter. And 
 what was more, we had among us a Corean, a 
 high-born representative of that hermit nation! 
 He was baptized a week before this, and was with 
 us in all the dignity of his native attire. He 
 too prayed in his own language, not intelligible 
 to us except his closing Amen, but forcible be- 
 cause his presence and unlntelligibility made the 
 scene still more Pentecostal. We only needed a 
 physical tongue of fire to make it entirely so; 
 but this we furnished with our own imaginations. 
 We all felt something miraculous and stupendous 
 coming over us. We even doubted whether the 
 sun was still shining over our heads. 
 
 May 9. — Meeting of the delegates in the 
 Morning Grass Presbyterian Church at 8 A. 
 M. The subject of discussion, "the Free 
 Burial." 
 
 The gathering continues. Something must be 
 done with a law still extant in the country, which 
 enforced the signature of a heathen priest be- 
 fore a corpse was committed to earth. Legally 
 such a thing as Christian burial was not allowed; 
 and such was procured only by the connivance 
 
90 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 of presiding]: priests, or in many actual cases, by 
 bribing them. I for one maintained that tlie 
 dead miglit be buriedj by the dead withoivt-a&y 
 detriment tD~the~soul"that once dwelt in it, and 
 that since our God was the God oTthe living. 
 He would not require from us any special mode 
 of disposing of our lifeless bodies. But those 
 of my brethren otherwise-minded on this subject 
 carried the day, and the majority vote decided 
 upon making a special petition to the government 
 to change the said law. This was thought to be 
 the beginning of a great movement which must 
 ultimately be taken up for bestowal of religious 
 liberty upon the nation. Events proved, however, 
 that legalism was fruitless in all cases. What 
 clamorings for right could not obtain, time and 
 progress of thought freely gave. The nation has 
 now a Constitution with religious liberty as a 
 conspicuous clause. 
 
 May 12. — The Great Meeting closes. It had 
 wonderful effects. Churches revived, con- 
 sciences tried, and love and union consider- 
 ably strengthened. Very Pentecostal in its 
 general character. 
 
 All in all, the mee'tings were profitable to us 
 all. Enthusiasm ran so high that after-meetings 
 were continued for one week more. To me the 
 scene was one which I had never seen before in 
 my life. The so-called "revival" set in upon the 
 metropolitan churches, and to me who was trained 
 a little in Mental Physiology, the movement ap- 
 j)eared somewhat insanoid. Carpenter in his 
 Mental Physiology tells us of a case of a whole 
 monastery whicli went to imitating a cat's mew- 
 ing, after one of its inmates, a nun, contracted this 
 
Sentimental Christianity. 91 
 
 propensity. Many at least of the phenomena of 
 reviyals could he explained as abnormal actions 
 of the sympathetic nerves. But as the movement 
 was fanned and supported by the highest of 
 church-dignitaries and reverend gentlemen, I 
 suppressed my skepticism, and allowed myself to 
 be swayed over by the prevailing sentiment of 
 the hour. When I saw and heard many who 
 spoke of the joy that came over their souls by the 
 mysterious influence of what they could never ex- 
 plain, but no less real on that account,— the joy, 
 they told us, exceeding that the eye hath ever 
 seen, or the ear hath ever heard of,— my science 
 was carried over by my desire to have the simi- 
 lar joy myself. Having been taught by a fiery 
 Methodist preacher liow to obtain this unspeak- 
 able gift of spirit, I applied mj^self right earnestly 
 at the work, focusing my mental vision upon my 
 ^'deceitful heart," meanwhile blinding my eyes to 
 Huxley, Carpenter, and Gegenbaur, as to visions 
 which were infernal in their origin. But alas! 
 the welcome voice "thy sins are forgiven thee" 
 was not to be caught either by my physical or 
 mental or spiritual tympanum. After three con- / 
 secutive days of groanings and beatings of my 
 breast, I was the same son of depravity as ever 
 before. To me was denied the much envied privi- 
 lege of showing myself before my fellow-Chris- 
 tians as a special object of heaven's favor, full of 
 hope and of joy. My disappointment was indeed 
 sore. Shall I exp lain a ^wa y "revivals" as a sort V 
 6t hypuoLism^ phenom'ena psycho-electrical in 
 their origin ; or is the profundity of my depravity 
 the real cause of my non-susceptibility to them? 
 Yes, the world was not created in a single day 
 or week, and I may yet hope to be recreated 
 through processes more "natural" than those pre- 
 scribed by my Methodist friend. 
 
92 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 Wrth the daily and weekly increase of friends 
 and acquaintances amonj? tlie believers, my reli- 
 ifgion was fast inclining toward sentimentalism. 
 Feastino^s upon religious talks were often carried 
 to excess, and we thought more about Christian 
 tea-parties and dinner-parties than of the grave 
 responsibilities of conquering the dominion of 
 darkness around us. Fresh from my country 
 church, with childish innocence and credulity, I 
 plunged mj'self into the Turkish-bath-society of 
 metropolitan Christianity, to be lulled and sham- 
 pooned by hymns sung by maidens, and sermons 
 that offended nobody. God's kin gdom was imag- 
 inedj^i-be-one of perfect repose a^rn 
 
 lange of good wishes, where tea-parties and' 
 love-makings could be indulged in with the sanc- 
 tion of the religion of free communions and fre( 
 love. Missionaries will pay all the arr^iLP^^f 
 
 Th expenses,_a nd-tto v l o o will fli^ gTout Bud- 
 dhism and other obnoxious superstitions around 
 us. But we, dear brethren, who bow no 
 more to wood and stones, and sweet sisters with 
 woman's right bestowed upon you by the new 
 faith, — let us be going to tea-parties and church- 
 sociables, and there sing "Blest be the tie that 
 binds," and pray and weep and dream and rejoice. 
 Away with that Confucian superstition that for- 
 bids children of two sexes above seven years of 
 age to sit together in one and the same room, 
 and with that Buddhist nonsens(i that requires 
 from womanhood modest^' and subjection so de- 
 basing to her noble sex. Love is a mutual affair, 
 and heaven itself cannot interfere in the com- 
 munion of youthful hearts prompted by this holy 
 and all pervading influence! 
 
 () Christian Freedom, thou that withstood 
 black famine and Spanish halberds in the Hooded 
 
Sentimental Christianity, 93 
 
 fortress of Lejden, that hissed upon the faggots 
 of Smithfield, and bled upon the top of Bunker 
 Hill, how often hast thou lent thy name to Sirens 
 of Destruction born, and to Jupiter's amorous 
 son I O may t^y name be cautiously held back 
 from the people who to Sinai are not first led, 
 there to learn the majesty of the Law, before 
 thou liftest them aboye the Law. Thy tidings 
 glad were not meant for those who from restraints 
 are yainly striying to flee, but for those chosen 
 children of God, who in their anxious efforts to 
 conform themselyes to the Law, are "helped by 
 Thee to make the Law their will. 
 
 But when the numerical increase of conyerts in 
 geometric progression is had in yiew by the mes- 
 sengers of the Gospel (though not an altogether 
 unpardonable weakness of humanity), this stern 
 idea of Freedom must not be yery conspicuously 
 placed before heathens. Hence the more or less / 
 laxity of practical morality among the conyerts 
 thus recruited, and the hedonistic yiew of the 
 freedom of spirit engendered among them. 
 
 March 14. — Read John Howard's Life with 
 
 tears. Gave me great joy and consolation. 
 
 Failure in putting off my old Adamic skin at 
 once droye me to find a consolation in the works 
 of my own hand. And why not? Sentimental 
 Christianity, like all other pleasures of senses, 
 soon becomes insipid, and something more real 
 and substantial is needed to keep a hungering 
 soul at rest. ''Is not practical charity the essence 
 of Christianity," I began to ask myself. Certainly 
 the immortal Buddha taught it as the yery first 
 of the four conditions for a man to enter the bliss 
 of Nirvana. "What dofh it profit, my brethren," 
 
94 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 so runs the weighty admonition of the royal 
 Apostle, ''though a man say he hath faith, and 
 have not works? can faith save him?" Prayer- 
 meeting sentimentalisms and camp-meeting 
 psycho-electricities, — to what do they all amount 
 if not a single beggar has his belly tilled thereby! 
 We used to give something solid and substantial 
 to wayside beggars when we paid our monthly 
 pilgrimage to our family-idols; but now that we 
 are converted to Christianity, we give nothing 
 but empty words to them. Such should not be, 
 my soul ! As well a man catch a bream by bait- 
 ing his hook with a lobster, as a Christian enter 
 his heaven by dealing out winds of doctrines to 
 others. So I bought a little volume of the life of 
 John Howard written in English, and read and 
 re-read it with intense applications. ^'Such I shall 
 be," I said to myself, and I already imagined my- 
 self visiting all the penitentiaries of the world, 
 and dying at last while attending a fever-stricken 
 soldier. I also bought Charles Loring Brace's 
 ^'Gesta Christi," and found therein all that I 
 needed to convince me of the missioh appropriate 
 for all true lovers of Christ. Though my idea of 
 Christian philanthropy has considerably changed 
 since then, the healthy influence of that New York 
 philanthropist upon the whole turn of my thought 
 and action is above all I can thank for. 
 
 June 6. — Left my lodgino^ at 7:80 A. M. 
 Hired a boat at Port "Barbaric," and row^ed 
 by four sailors, started for Cape Eagle to 
 study the neighboring sea-bottom. Stopped 
 at llotel No. 11 in the Cape. 
 
 Once more in the Government employ, I was 
 sent out upon another scientific tour. This boat- 
 
Sentimental C 
 
 excursion during my stay in the little island of 
 S. — I specially remember as one wlien my temper- 
 ance principle was put to quite a test. Still 
 tenaciously holding teetotalism as a part of my 
 Christian profession, I was scrupulously careful 
 not to touch the fiery liquid even if presented with 
 the most plausible reasons. As was hinted in a 
 former chapter, liquor-drinking forms a large 
 part of my national etiquettes, and to refuse 
 cordial cups is to refuse friendship and intimacy 
 solicited by one who presents them. And in no 
 other respect was Christianity a sorer thorn in my 
 flesh than in this constant fear of offending my 
 hosts when asked to partake of friendly draughts 
 of rice-beer. But the sacred pledge was not to be 
 forgone; so I persisted. 
 
 But a new trial was to be met at Cape Eagle, 
 for there at the utmost outskirts of civilization, 
 in a lonely fishing-village, "Hotel No. 11" was the 
 only house where travelers could find shelter at 
 night. And the host of the hotel was a con- 
 firmed drunkard, known throughout the whole 
 island as a Bacchus out of a ibeer-barrel born, and 
 whose admiration of the "holy water" was so 
 intense, and generosity toward his fellowmen so 
 jealously strong, that he would not allow any 
 mortal to pass a night under his roof without 
 sharing his elixir with him, and so adding one 
 more praise to the liquid that makes even gods to 
 rejoice. I was told that not a single person had 
 ever been known having courage to refuse the cup 
 when presented by his imperious hand, and that 
 this once at least I must put my teetotalism 
 by, if to the Cape I must go. My answer w^as: 
 "To the Cape I will go, but the drink I will not / 
 touch." The little community that sent me out 
 was taken up with quite a fuss over the possible 
 
96 1) lav II of a Japanese Convert 
 
 outcome of a singular contest which was to take 
 phice between the upholders of the two diametri- 
 callj opposite principles. 
 
 It was near the dusk of the day when I found 
 myself at the gate of the much-dreaded "Hotel 
 No. 11." The man who received me was some 
 sixty years of age, haggard in appearance and 
 short in stature, and wearing unmistakable signs 
 of alcoholic medications of a life-time. I at once 
 recognized in him the man so much spoken of 
 throughout the island, and I was on my guard to 
 behave m^^self accordingly. All the courtesies 
 and welcomes of country hotel-keepers were en- 
 tirely lacking in him, and I had to tell him of my 
 official dignity before he agreed to grudge me a 
 shelter for the night. After bathing and tea- 
 drinking as usual, the matron of the house came 
 to me, and asked me to "drink" before the supper. 
 "Not a drop of the liquor, madam," I resolutely 
 replied, assured that everything depended upon 
 my first answer. She retired, and in a moment 
 a young man appeared with a wooden stand, upon 
 which were arranged white rice, vegetables and 
 boiled shell-fish in due order. The day's exposure 
 to sun and sea prepared my stomach for the 
 speedy consumption of the plain supper. Then 
 I waited for the real tug of the battle, when the 
 old man would appear with a bottle in his 
 withered arm. But it was not so to be. Soon a 
 bed was prepared for me, and without any inter- 
 ruption I passed a sweet peaceful night. I 
 thought my friends had merely frightened me, 
 and the whole story of the old man's demoniacal 
 habits was manufactured solely for this purpose. 
 
 The next morning after bi-eakfast, I was again 
 on my 'boat. My men on their oars, my anxious 
 inquiry was about the eventlessness of the night 
 
Sentinivntal Christianiti/. 97 
 
 before. The whole mystery was now explained 
 to me. ''The hotel-keeper was the same old man," 
 said one of mv men, "but it was you, my young 
 lord, who made the whole household so quiet last 
 night. He told his seryants that he himself would 
 not drink for the fear that he might disturb the 
 young guest, at which the whole family was taken 
 with surprise, though not thankless on that ac- 
 count; for now for the first time since they en- 
 tered the seryice of the drunkard master, the 
 night was to be without murmurings and brawl- 
 ings and other confusions." "Yes," said another 
 of my men, ''the matron expressed her thanks for 
 the blessings of the night before. 8he said this 
 morning before we left the house, that the sleep 
 she enjoyed last night was the most delicious she 
 eyer had." "Victory!" I cried out; and as I was 
 preaching to my men the horrors of the drinking 
 habit and the power of braye resistence, heayen 
 itself seemed to haye joined in our triumph, for 
 soon the wind veered to our back, and distending 
 our full-stretched sail, wafted us proudly into the 
 harbor, there to tell my anxious friends of the 
 yictory that crowned my steadfast denial, — Bac- 
 chus himself disarmed of his bottles, and a peace- 
 ful repose giyen to his innocent household. 
 
 But the yacuum in my soul was not to be ob- 
 literated by a few such experiences, the more so 
 as Sentimental Christianity, itself a yacuity, had 
 made it larger and more conspicuous than ever 
 before. Failing to find the desired satisfaction in 
 my own land, I, Rasselas-like, thought of extend- 
 ing my search to a land differently constituted 
 from my own, even to Christendom, where, — 
 Christianity haying had undisputed power and 
 influence for hundreds of years, must, I imagined, 
 be found Peace and Joy in a measure inconceiy- 
 
98 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 able to us of heathen extraction, and easily pro- 
 curable by any sincere seeker after the Truth. 
 The pain of separation from dear ones, the ex- 
 pense almost unbearably heavy to one of my cir- 
 cumstances, and above all, that saddest of all 
 human experiences, roaming a penniless exile in 
 a strange land, — all these were to be cheerfully 
 borne that I might win the coveted prize, and so 
 make my existence endurable. ^ -->^ 
 
 /But the search after personal satisfaction was^ 
 /not the only motive that imj^elled me to take this 
 bold step. The land which gave me birth requires 
 from every one of its youths some unstinted con- 
 tributions to its honor and glory; and that I , 
 might be a faithful son of my soil, I needed ex- ; 
 ..perience, knowledge, and observations extending ' 
 beyond the limit of my country. To be a 7nan ' 
 first, and^then a Patriot, was my aim in__g.oing/ 
 
 abroad. ^ " — — — -^—-^ 
 
 By the willing sacrifice of my poor family, and 
 the result of my economy during the past three 
 years, I provided myself with enough means to 
 secure passage across the broadest of oceans, 
 trusting all the rest in the hand of Him who would 
 not suller me to die with hunger in a strange land. 
 My good father, who was already a devout Chris- 
 tian, sent me out with cheer and God-speed, giving 
 me, together with all that he had, his heart and 
 love for his beloved son, expressed in a native 
 stanza of his own production: 
 
 "Where I see not, Jehovah seeth; 
 Where I hear not. Almighty heareth. 
 Go my son, be not 'fraid; 
 He thy help, there, as here." 
 
 The solemnity of the hour of separation called 
 forth from us a nature which dogmas could not 
 
 \ 
 
Sentimental Christianity. 99 
 
 suppress. After my father's heart-rending 
 prayers for tlie watchful care of Providence over 
 his son, he took me to the ancestral shrine which 
 we still kept, and there >bade me to address myself 
 to the soul of my departed grandfather before I 
 would cross the threshold of my house on this 
 hazardous voyage. ''Had thy grandsire been 
 here," he said in tears, ''what an amazement it 
 must have been for him that his grandson should 
 go to the people whom he regarded as utter bu?- 
 barians!" I bowed my head, and my soul, directed 
 alike to my Heavenly Father and to the departed 
 spirits of my ancestors, engaged in a sort of medi- 
 tation at once a pra^'j3j:.aad a re t ros pect!^. Our 
 dogm atigJ^adigrs might have frowned upon us 
 Tor-ourconduct so Buddhistic or Popish; but it 
 was not time for us to argue then. We loved our 
 God, our country, and our forefathers, and we re- 
 membered them all on this solemn occasion. 
 
 Love of country, like all other loves, is in its 
 best and highest at the time of separation. 'That 
 strange Something, which, when at home, is no 
 more to us than a mere grouping of rills and 
 valleys, mountains and hills, is now transformed 
 to that living Somebody, — Nature etherialized 
 into a spirit; — and like as a woman speaks to her 
 children, it summons us to noble deeds, — a Cor- 
 nelia sending forth young Gracchii that they 
 might live and die worthy of their illustrious 
 mother. The yonder imperial peak that hangs 
 majestically against the western sky, white- 
 capped with eternal snow, — is that not her chaste 
 brow, the inspirer of the nation's heart? The 
 pine-clad hills that encircle the peak, and golden 
 fields that in its bottom lie, — is that not the 
 bosom that suckled me, and the knee that took 
 me up? And the waves dashing at its foot, and 
 
100 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 breaking? into f 0111113^ sprays, — are they not pearl- 
 set frills tliat fringe her gown as she strides forth 
 in her majestic march? A mother so pure, so 
 noble and lovely, — shall not her sons be loyal to 
 her? I left her coast, and soon I was upon board 
 a ship, flying a color of another nation, and 
 manned by men of other races. The ship begins to 
 move, — farewell to the mother-land, — and after 
 few hours of tossing, only the tip of the peak im- 
 perial can be seen. ''All to the deck," we cry; 
 *'one more homage to the dear, dear land." Be- 
 low the billowy horizon she is setting; and our 
 hearts with deep solemnity catch the words of the 
 Quaker poet, and say, 
 
 "Land of lands, for thee we give. 
 
 Our hearts, our pray'rs, our service free; 
 
 For thee thy sons shall nobly live, 
 And at thy need shall die for thee." 
 
In Christendom, 101 
 
 CHAPTER Vi. 
 THE FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF CHRISTENDOM. 
 
 That I looked upon Christendom and English- 
 speaking peoples with peculiar reverence was not 
 an altogether inexcusable weakness on my part. 
 It was the same weakness that made the Great 
 Frederick of Prussia a slavish adorer of every- 
 thing that was French. I learnt all that was 
 noble, useful, and uplifting through the vehicle 
 of the English language. I read my Bible in En- 
 glish, Barnes' commentaries were written in 
 English, John Howard was an Englishman, and 
 Washington and Daniel Webster were of English 
 descent. A "dime-novel" was never placed in my 
 hand, and as for slangs,— the word itself I did 
 not learn till long after my living among English- 
 speaking people. My idea of Christian America 
 was lofty, religious, Puritanic. I dreamed of its 
 templed' hills, and rocks that rang with hymns 
 and praises. Hebraisms, I thought, to be the pre- 
 vailing speech of the American commonality, and 
 cherub and cherubim, hallelujahs and amens, the 
 common language of its streets. 
 
 I was often told upon good testimony that 
 monev is all in all in America, and that it is wor- 
 shipped there as Almighty Dollar; that the race 
 pre'judlce is so strong there that the yellow skin 
 and almond-shaped eyes pass for objects of de- 
 rision and dog-barking; etc., etc. But for me to 
 credit such statements as anything near the 
 
102 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 truth was utterly impossible. The land of Pat- 
 rick Henry and Abraham Lincoln, of Dorothea 
 Dix and Stephen Girard, — how could it be a land 
 of mammon-worship and race-distinction! I 
 thought I had different eyes to judge of the mat- 
 [ ter — so strong was my confidence in what I had 
 j read and heard about the superiority of the Chris- 
 , tian civilization over that of the Pagan. Indeed, 
 /the image of America as pictured upon my mind 
 \was that of a Holy Land. 
 
 At the day-break of Nov. 24, 1884, my enrap- 
 tured eyes first caught the faint views of Christen- 
 dom. Once more I descended to my steerage- 
 cabin, and there I was upon my knees — the mo- 
 ment was too serious for me to join with the popu- 
 lar excitement of the hour. As the low Coast 
 Range came clearer to my views, the sense of my 
 dreams being now realized overwhelmed me with 
 gratitude, and tears trickled rapidly down my 
 cheeks. Soon the Golden Gate was passed, and all 
 the chimneys and mast-tops now presented to my 
 vision appeared like so many church-spires point- 
 ing toward the sky. We landed— the company of 
 some twenty young men — and were hackneyed to 
 a hotel owned by an Irishman who was known to 
 show special kindness to men of my nation. As 
 my previous acquaintance with the Caucasian 
 race had been mostly with missionaries, the idea 
 stuck close to my mind; and so all the people 
 / whom I met in the street appeared to me like so 
 many ministers fraught with high Christian pur- 
 pose, and I could not but imagine myself as walk- 
 ' ing among the congregation of the First-born. It 
 was only gradually, very gradually, that I un- 
 learnt this childish notion. 
 
 Yes, Hebraism in one sense at least I found to 
 be a common form of speech in America. First 
 
In Christendom. 103 
 
 of all, evervbodv has a Hebrew name, and even 
 horses are christened there. The words which we 
 have never pronounced without the sense of ex- 
 treme awe and reverence are upon the lips of 
 workmen, carriage-drivers, shoe-blacks, and 
 others of more exalted occupations. Every little 
 offense is accompanied bv a religious oath of some 
 kind. In a hotel-parlor we asked a respectable- 
 looking gentleman how he liked the new presi- 
 dent-elect (Cleveland), and his emphatic answer 
 was stronglv Hebraic. '^By G— " he said, "I tell 
 you he is a devil." The gentleman was afterward 
 known to be a staunch Republican. We started 
 in an emigrant train toward the East, and when 
 the car stopped with a jerk so that we were almost 
 thrown out of our seats, one of our fellow-pas- 
 sengers expressed his vexations with another 
 
 Hebraism, 'M Ch ," and accompanied it 
 
 with a stamping. And so forth. All these were of 
 course utterly strange to our ears. Soon I was 
 able to discover the deep profanity that lay at the 
 bottom of all these Hebraisms, and I took them 
 as open violations of the Third Commandment, of 
 whose special use and significance I had never 
 been able to comprehend thus far, but now for 
 the first time, was taught with -living examples." 
 So universal is the use of religious terms in 
 everv-dav speech of the American people, that 
 a storv is told of a French immigrant who carried 
 an English-French dictionary in his pocket, to 
 which he referred for every English word that he 
 heard from the very beginning of his departure 
 from Havre. On his landing at the P^iil^^delphia 
 wharf the commonest word that he heard the 
 people spoke was -damn-devil." He at once went 
 ?o his dictionary, but failing to find such a word 
 therein, he threw it away, thinking that a diction- 
 
104 Diari/ of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 arj tliat did not contain so common a word must 
 be of no f urtliei' use to him in America. 
 
 The report that money was the almighty power 
 in America was corroborated by many of our 
 actual experiences. Immediately after our arrival 
 at San Francisco, our faith in ''Christian civiliza- 
 tion" was severely tested by a disaster that befell 
 one of our numbers. He was pick-pocketed of a 
 purse that contained a five-dollar-gold piece! 
 "Pick-pocket-ing in Christendom as in Pagan- 
 dom," we cautioned to each other; and while in 
 dismay and confusion w^e were consoling our 
 robbed brother, an elderly lady, w^ho afterward 
 told us that she believed in the universal salva- 
 tion of mankind, good as well as bad, took our 
 misfortune heavily upon her heart, and warned 
 us of further dangers, as pick-pocketing, burglary- 
 ing, high-way-ing, and all other transgressions of 
 sinful humanity were not unknown in her land as 
 well. We did only wish, however, that that crank 
 who despoiled us of that precious five-dollar-piece 
 would never go to heaven. 
 
 But it was when we came to Chicago that mam- 
 monism in the highest spiritual sense was revealed 
 to our vision. In the depot-restaurant, where, 
 after four-days' jerking in an emigrant train, we 
 refreshed ourselves with a piece each of cold 
 chicken, with grateful remembrance of the Re- 
 fresher of our souls, we were surrounded by a 
 group of waiters whose black skin and wooly hair 
 were the unmistakable signs of their Hamitic 
 origin. On our bowing our heads before we par- 
 took of the gifts of the table, one of them patted 
 our shoulders, and said, "you're gut men, you!" 
 Upon our telling them of our faith (we believed 
 in the literal sense of Matt. 10: 32), they told us 
 that they were all Methodists, and took a great 
 
In Christendom, 105 
 
 deal of interest in the universal spreading of God's 
 Kingdom. Soon there appeared another Hamite, 
 who was introduced to us as the deacon of their 
 church. He was very kind to us, heard with seem- 
 ing interest what we told him of the advance of 
 our mutual Faith in our land. We exchanged our 
 good wishes and exhortations for the cause of our 
 common Lord and Master. He attended upon us 
 for full two hours, when the time for our de- 
 parture came. He took all our valises upon his 
 shoulders, followed us to the place where our 
 tickets were examined — such was his care and at- 
 tention for us. With courtesy and many thanks 
 we extended our hands to take our goods to our- 
 selves, to which our Methodist deacon objected; 
 but stretching forth his dusky hand toward us, 
 said, "Jist gib me somding." He had our valises 
 in his custody, and only "somding" could recover 
 them from his hands. The engine-bell was ring- 
 ing; it was not time to argue with him. Each of 
 us dropped a 50-cent piece into his hand, our 
 things were transferred to us, to a coach we has- 
 tened, and as the train began to move, we looked 
 to each other in amazement, and said, "Even/-^ 
 charity is bartered here." Since then we never 
 have trusted in the kind words of black deacons. 
 One year after this, when I was again robbed 
 of my new silk-umbrella on a Fall River steamer, 
 — whose superb ornamentation and exquisite 
 music conveyed to me no idea whatever of the 
 spirit of knavery that lurked underneath,— and so 
 did once more liberate my heathen innocence, 1/ 
 felt the misfortune so keenly, that only once in 
 my life I prayed for the damnation of that ex- 
 ecrable devil, who could steal a shelter from a 
 homeless stranger at the time of his dire neces- 
 sity. Even the Chinese civilization of forty cen- 
 
100 Diarj/ of a Japanese Coiwerf. 
 
 tiiries a^o could boast of a state of society when 
 nobody picked up things dropped on the street. 
 But here upon Christian waters, in a floating 
 palace, under the spell of the music of Handel and 
 Mendelssohn, things were as unsafe as in a den of 
 robbers. 
 
 Indeed, insecurity of things in Christendom is 
 something to which we were wholly unaccus- 
 tomed. Never haA^e I seen more extensive use of 
 keys than among these Christian people. We in 
 our heathen homes have but very little recourse 
 to keys. Our houses, most of them, are open to 
 everybody. Cats come in and out at their own 
 sweet pleasures, and men go to siesta in their beds 
 with zephyrs blowing over their faces; and no 
 apprehensions are felt of our servants or neigh- 
 bors ever transgressing upon our possessions. But 
 things are quite otherwise in Christendom. Not 
 only are safes and trunks locked, but doors and 
 windows of all descriptions, chests, drawers, ice- 
 boxes, sugar-vases, all. The housewife goes about 
 her business with a bundle of keys jingling at her 
 side; and a bachelor coming home in the even- 
 ing has first to thrust his hand into his pocket 
 to draw out a cluster of some twenty or thirty 
 keys to find out one which will open to him his 
 lonely cell. The house is locked from the front- 
 door to the pin-box, as if the spirit of robbery 
 pervaded every cubic-inch of the air. In our coun- 
 try we have this saying, uttered by the most sus- 
 picious of mankind, I suppose: ''When you look 
 at a light, think that it is a fire which can consume 
 all your substances; when you look at a man, 
 tliink that he is a robber who can rob you of all 
 your possessions." But never have I seen this in- 
 junction put into practice in a more literal sense 
 than in a well-locked American household. It is a 
 
In Christendom. 107 
 
 miniature feudal castle modified to meet tlie pre- 
 vailing cupidity of tlie age. Wliellier a civiliza- 
 tion which requires cemented cellars and stone- 
 cut vaults, watched over by bull-dogs and battal- 
 ions of policemen, could be called Christian is 
 seriously doubted by honest heathens. 
 
 In no other respect, however, did Christendom 
 appear to me more like heathendom than in a 
 strong race prejudice still existing among its peo- 
 ple. After a "century of dishonor," the copper- 
 colored children of the forest from whom the land 
 was wrested by many cruel and inhuman means, 
 are still looked upon by the commonality as no 
 better than buffaloes or Rocky Mountain sheep, to 
 be trapped and hunted like wild beasts. As for 
 ten millions of Hamites whom they originally im- 
 ported from Africa, as they now import Devon 
 bulls and Jersey cows, and just for the very same 
 purpose, there w^as shown considerable sympathy 
 and Christian brothership some thirty years ago; 
 and beginning with John Brown, that righteous 
 Saxon, .500,000 of the flower of the nation were to 
 be butchered to atone for the iniquity of merchan- 
 dising upon God's images. And though they now 
 have so condescended themselves as to ride in the 
 same cars with the "darkies," they still keep up 
 their Japhetic vanity by keeping themselves at 
 respectable distances from the race which they 
 bought with their own blood. Down in the state 
 of Delaware, whither I was once taken by a friend 
 of mine as his guest, I was astonished to find a 
 separate portion of a town given up wholly to ne- 
 groes. Upon telling my friend that this making 
 a sharp racial distinction appeared to me very Pa- 
 gan-like, his emphatic answer was that he would 
 rather be a Pagan and live separate from "nig- 
 
108 Dianj of a Japanese Conrevt. 
 
 gers," than be a Cliristian and live in the same 
 quarters ^Yith them! 
 
 But strong and unchristian as their feeling is 
 against the Indians and the Africans, the preju- 
 dice, the aversion, the repugnance, which they en- 
 tertain against the children of Sinim is something 
 which we in heathendom have never seen the like. 
 ' The land which sends over missionaries to China, 
 to convert her sons and daughters to Christianity 
 from the nonsense of Confucius and the supersti- 
 tions of Buddha, — the very same land abhors even 
 the shadow of a Chinaman cast upon its soil. 
 There never was seen such an anomaly upon the 
 face of this earth. Is Christian mission a child's 
 play, a chivalry more puerile than that engaged 
 the wit of Cervantes, that it should be sent to a 
 people so much disliked by the people who send it? 
 
 The main reasons which make the Chinese so 
 objectionable to the Christian Americans I under- 
 stand to be three: 
 
 I. The C/ihiese carry away all their savings to 
 their home, and thus impoverish the land. — That 
 is, that they might be acceptable to the Ameri- 
 cans, they must spend up all they earned in Amer- 
 ica, and go home empty-handed. A strange doc- 
 trine this to hear from the people w^ho inculcate 
 the lessons of industry and provision upon them- 
 selves. "All things whatsoever ye would that 
 men should do to you, do ye even so to them." Do 
 all the American and European merchants and 
 savants and engineers who come to our shores, — 
 do they leave all their earnings with us, and go 
 home without bank-accounts in their favor? Do 
 we not pay each one of them, 200, 300, 400, 500, 
 800 dollars a month in solid gold, scarcely a third 
 of which he usually spends in our land, and goes 
 away with the rest to buy ease and comforts in 
 
In Christendom, 109 
 
 his homeland? And vet we send them out with 
 thanks, with presents of silli-robes and bronze- 
 vases, and oftentimes with imperial decorations 
 and pensions affixed thereto. Tliej did the serv- 
 ice corresponding to the money we paid them (at 
 least we suppose they did), and we do not think 
 ourselves robbed by them. By what laws under \ 
 heaven are the Chinese compelled to leave all 
 their earnings in America after they have helped 
 to cut a railroad through the Rocky Mountains, 
 and planted and watered vineyards in California? 
 They do not carry away gold for nothing, as self- 
 styled Christians sometimes did by directing muz- 
 zles of guns at the defenceless heathens, and kid- 
 napping supple babies from the breasts of suck- 
 ling mothers. The Chinamen leave the work be- 
 hind them equivalent to the money they carry 
 away. The gold is not theirs by Nature's inher- 
 ent iaw, and who art thou that deniest the sacred 
 right of property to the sons of honest toil? We 
 the "pitiable heathens" send our foreign employes 
 with honors and ceremonies, and they the ''bles- 
 sed Christians" kick us out with derisive lan- 
 guages. Can these things be, O God of Ven- 
 geance! 
 
 2. These Chmese, with their stubborn adherence 
 to their national ways and customs, bring inde- 
 cencies upon the Christian com?nunity. — True, 
 pigtails and flowing pantaloons are not very de- 
 cent things to be seen in the streets of Boston or 
 New York. But do you think corsets and com- 
 pressed abdomens are fine things to see in the 
 streets of Peking or Hankow? "But Chinese are 
 filthy in their habits, and tricky in their dealings 
 with others," you say. I wish I could show you 
 some specimens of the noble Caucasian race roam- 
 ing in the Eastern ports, who are as filthy, as 
 
110 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 stinky, as putrefactive, as a poor pox-stricken Chi- 
 naman who is dungeoned by the San Francisco 
 quarantine in a manner as if he had upset ten im- 
 perial thrones. As for the alleged moral ob- 
 liquity of the Chinese: Have you ever heard of 
 a Chinaman throwing a bombshell at city police, 
 or disgracing the American womanhood in the 
 mid-day sun? WTiy not enact anti-German 
 laws and anti-Italian laws as well if the 
 social order and decency are your aim? 
 What are the iniquities of the poor China- 
 men that you persecute them with so much 
 rigor, except they be their defencelessness 
 and abject submission to your Gothic will? 
 "Would that the iniquities of the Caucasian so- 
 journers in our land were counted that they might 
 be weighed over against those of Chinamen ! If 
 'we had done to American or English citizens in 
 oiir land half as much indignities as are done to 
 the helpless Chinese in America, we would soon 
 be visited with fleets of gunboats, and in the name 
 of justice and humanity, would be compelled to 
 pay $50,000 per capita for the lives of those worth- 
 less loafers, whose only worth as human beings 
 consist in their having blue eyes and white skins, 
 and in nothing more. Christendom seems to pos- 
 sess another Gospel, in addition to one preached 
 by Paul and Cephas, which teaclies among other 
 detestable things this: 
 
 Might is Right, and Money is that Might. 
 
 J. The Chinese by their lo7V wages do injiwy to 
 the A?nerican laborer. — This sounds more plausi- 
 ble than the otlier two reasons. It is "Protec- 
 tion" applied to the imported labor. I do not like 
 to see any American household deprived of its 
 chicken-pies on Sunday that a Chinaman might 
 have a morsel more of his steamed rice. But let 
 
In Christendom, 111 
 
 America's national conscience ask this question 
 of itself: Is 4,000,000 square miles of land flow- 
 ing with milk and honej not wide enough for 65,- 
 000,000 of its people? Are there no spaces left in 
 Idaho, Montana, and elsewhere, where the packed 
 population of Canton and Foochow mav be given 
 opportunities of coping with buffaloes and grizzly 
 bears to subdue the land for humankind? 
 Where in God's Sacred Writings, or in Nature's 
 fossiled tablets, can be found a statement that 
 goes to prove an assumption that America must 
 be possessed by the white race alone? Or if you 
 like to be argued with without having your vanity 
 touched in any way, you may be persuaded thus: 
 Grudge to the poor Chinamen so much charity as 
 the unpardoning Jews did to the heathen Gibeon- 
 ites; that is, make them ''hewers of wood and 
 drawers of water" to you, and you go to some 
 more lordly occupations befitting your Teutonic 
 or Celtic origin. Let them wash all your cuffs 
 and collars and shirts for you; and they will serve 
 you with lamblike meekness, and for half the 
 price your own Caucasian laundrymen charge 
 you. Or send them down into the Arizona or 
 New Mexico mines to fetch from the bosom of in- 
 fernal darkness the metal we prize so highly in 
 day-light. A "strike" is yet unknown among the 
 poor heathens, unless some of you teach them 
 how to do it. A class of laborers so meek, so un- 
 complaining, so industrious, and so cheap, you 
 cannot find anywhere else under the sun.* That 
 
 * "I will admit that at one time I had fears of the Chi- 
 ese overrunning this country, but for some years I have 
 had none. * * * I do not know what we would do 
 without them, and I undertake to say that they are the 
 most quiet, industrious and altogether commendable class 
 of foreigners who come here. There is no other class so 
 quick to learn and none so faithful." — Senator Stanford 
 of California* 
 
112 Diarij of a Japanese Convert 
 
 to so use them iu a sphere of industry peculiarly 
 their own is not only befitting your Christian pro- 
 fession, but profitable as well for your pockets, 
 you have proved more than once by '^smugglings 
 of Chinamen" often enacted upon the Canadian 
 frontiers. Why refuse to bless your fellowmen 
 by ''policies" out of jealousies and rum-shops 
 born? Why not believe in the Law of Prophets, 
 and be kind and merciful to strangers, that the 
 Lord of hosts may open you the windows of 
 heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there 
 / shall not be room enough to receive it? But as 
 they now are, the whole tenor of anti-Chinese laws 
 appears to me to be anti-Biblical, anti-Christian, 
 anti-evangelical, and anti-humanitarian. Even 
 \ the nonsense of Confucius teaches us very much 
 \ better things than these. 
 
 ' It is perhaps hardly necessary for me to say 
 , that I am not a Chinaman myself. Though 
 ' I am never ashamed of my racial relationship to 
 that most ancient of nations, — that nation that 
 gave Mencius and Confucius to the world, and in- 
 vented the mariner's compass and printing ma- 
 chines centuries before the Europeans even 
 dreamed of them, — yet to receive in my person all 
 the indignities and asperities with which the poor 
 coolies from Canton are goaded by the American 
 populace, required nothing less than Christian 
 forbearance to keep my head and heart in right 
 order. Here again, American Hebraisms, which 
 are applied even in the nomenclatures of horses, 
 are made use of in the designations of the Chinese. 
 They are all called "John," and even the kind po- 
 licemen of the city of New York call us by that 
 name. "Pick up those Chinamen in," was the po- 
 lite language of a Cliicago coachman, to whom we 
 paid the regular fare, and did nothing to hurt his 
 vanity as a protege of St. Patrick. A well-clad 
 
In Christendom. 113 
 
 gentleman sharing the same seat with me in a 
 car asked me to have my comb to brush his grizzly 
 beard; and instead of a thank which we in hea- 
 thendom consider as appropriate upon such an 
 occasion, he returned the comb, saying, "Well, 
 John, where do you keep your laundry shop?" An 
 intelligent-looking gentleman asked us when we 
 did cut our cues; and when told that we never 
 had cues, "Why," he said, "I thought all China- 
 men have cues." That these very gentlemen, who 
 seem to take peculiar delight in deriding our Mon- 
 golian origin, are themselves peculiarly sensitive 
 as to their Saxon birthright, is well illustrated by 
 the following little incident: 
 
 A group of young Japanese engineers went to 
 examine the Brooklyn Bridge. When under the 
 pier, the structure and tension of each of the sus- 
 pending ropes were being discussed upon, a silk- 
 hatted, spectacled, and decently dressed Ameri- 
 can gentleman approached them. "Well, John," 
 he intruded upon the Japanese scientists, "these 
 things must look awful strange to you from 
 China, ey?" One among the Japanese retorted 
 the insulting question, and said, "So they must 
 be to you from Ireland." The gentleman got an- 
 gry and said, "No, indeed not. I am not Irish." 
 "And so we are not Chinese," was the gentle re- 
 joinder. It was a good blow, and the silk-hatted 
 sulked away. He did not like to be called an 
 Irish. 
 
 Time fails me to speak of other unchristian feat- 
 ures of Christendom. What about J^galized lot- 
 tery which can depend for its stability upon its 
 millions in gold and silver, right in face of simple 
 morality clear even to the understanding of a 
 child; of widespread gambling propensities, as 
 witnessed in scenes of cock-fights, horse-race, and 
 
< 
 
 y 
 
 111 Dianj of a Japanese Convert 
 
 foot-ball matches; of pugilism, more inhuman 
 than Spanish bull-fights; of l^^^iing, fitted more 
 for Hottentots than for the people of a free Re- 
 public; of rum-traffic, whose magnitude can find 
 no parallel Tn'the trade of the whole world; of 
 demagogism in politics; of deiioiainational jeal;^ 
 ousies in religion; of capitalists' tyranny and la- 
 borers' insolence; of millionaires' fooleries; of 
 men's liypocritical love toward their wives; etc., 
 etc., etc.? Is this the civilization we were taught 
 by missionaries to accept as an evidence of the 
 superiority of Christian Religion over other re- 
 ligions? With what shamefacedness did they de- 
 clare unto us that the religion w^hich made Europe 
 and America must surely be the religion from on 
 high? If it was Christianity tliat made the so- 
 called Christendom of to-day, let Heaven's eternal 
 curse rest upon it! Peace is the last thing we can 
 find in Christendom. Turmoils, complexities, in- 
 sane asylums, penitentiaries, poor-houses! 
 
 O for the rest of the Morning Land, the quie- 
 tude of the Lotus Pond! Not the steam whistle 
 that alarms us from our disturbed sleep, but the 
 carol of the Bird of Paradise that wakens us from 
 our delicious slumber; not the dust and jar of an 
 elevated railroad, but a palanquin borne by a low- 
 ing cow; not marble mansions built with price of 
 blood earned in the Wall Street battle-market, 
 but thatched roofs with sweet contentment in Na- 
 ture's bounties. Are not sun, moon, and stars 
 purer and more beautiful objects of worship than 
 money and honors and empty shows? 
 
 O heaven, I am undone! I was deceived! I 
 gave up what was really I*eace for that which is 
 no Peace! To go back to my old faith I am now 
 too overgrown; to acquiesce in my new faith is 
 impossible. O for Blessed Ignorance that might 
 
In Christendom. 115 
 
 have kept me from the knowledge of faith other 
 than that which satisfied my good grandma! It 
 made her industrious, patient, true; and not a 
 compunction clouded her face as she drew her last 
 breath. Hers was Peace and mine is Doubt; and 
 woe is me that I called her an idolator, and pitied 
 her superstition, and prayed for her soul, when 
 I myself had launched upon an unfathomable 
 abyss, tossed with fear and sin and doubt. One ^.^^ 
 thing I shall never do in future: I shall never i \ 
 defend Christianity upon its being the religion of ] ^y" 
 Europe and America. An ''external evidence" of / 
 this nature is not only weak, but actually vicious 
 in its general effects. The religion that can sup- 
 port an immortal soul must have surer and pro- 
 founder bases than such a ''show" evidence to rest 
 upon. Yet I once built my faith upon a straw like 
 that. 
 
IIG Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 CHAPTER Vn. 
 
 IN CHRISTENDOM— AMONG PHILANTHROPISTS. 
 
 It was well said by a Cliinese sage that ''he who 
 stays in a mountain knows not the mountain.'^ 
 The fact is, distance lends not only enchantment 
 to a view, but comprehensiveness as well. A 
 mountain in its true proportion can be viewed 
 only from a distance. 
 
 So with one's own country. As long as he liVes 
 in it, he really knows it not. That he may under- 
 stand its true situation as a part of the great 
 whole, its goodness and badness, its strength and 
 weakness, he must stand away from it. Who is 
 more ignorant of the city of New York than some 
 of its domiciled denizens, to whom the Central 
 Park is the only "wild" in the universe, and the 
 City Museum the hole through which they can 
 peep into the wide world! The English aristo- 
 crats are famous for their ignorance about their 
 own Island Empire, which makes their expensive 
 travels around the world almost a necessity to 
 make them anything near sensible subjects of her 
 Britannic Majesty. So oftentimes, missionaries 
 sent out to convert heathens come home convert- 
 ed themselves, not indeed from their Christianity, 
 but from much, ver^^ much, of views they used to 
 hold about themselves, Christendom, the ''elec- 
 tion" of Christians, the damnation of heathens, 
 etc., etc. "Send your darling son to travel," is a 
 &aying common among my countrymen. Nothing 
 disenchants a man so much as traveling. 
 
In CTiristendom, 117 
 
 My views about my native land were extremely 
 one-sided while I stayed in it. While yet a 
 heathen, my country was to me the centre of the 
 universe, the envy of the world. ''The soil gives 
 the five grains'^ in luxurious abundance; its cli- 
 mate the equablest in the world; its scenery the 
 richest, its seas and lakes like the eyes of a maid- 
 en, and its pine-clad hills her crescent-shaped eye- 
 brows; the land itself overcharged with spirit, 
 the very abode of gods, the fountain of light." 
 Such, I say, I thought my country to be, while I 
 was yet a heathen. But how opposite when I was 
 "converted!" I was told of "happy lands far, far 
 away;" of America, with four hundred colleges 
 and universities; of England, the Puritan's home; 
 of Germany, Luther's Fatherland; of Switzer- 
 land, Zwingli's pride; of Knox's Scotland and 
 Adolphus' Sweden. Soon an idea caught my 
 mind that my country was really ''good-for-noth- 
 ing." It was a heathen land which required mis- 
 sionaries from other countries to make it good. 
 God of Heaven had never thought much about it ; 
 He left it so many years wholly in the hand of 
 devils. Speaking of any of its moral or social de- 
 fects, we were constantly told that it was no so in 
 America or Europe. Whether it could ever be a 
 Massachusetts or an England, I sincerely doubt- 
 ed. I did truly believe that the w^orld would not 
 be any w^orse even if my country were wiped out 
 of existence. "Is there such a thing as tax-pay- 
 ing in Japan?" a girl in a mission school was heard 
 to have asked her teacher. Poor, innocent soul, 
 she imagined her own people to be in such a degra- 
 dation that extortion or some other heathen meth- 
 od of "sipping the people's blood" was still re- 
 
 * Rice, wheat, barley, bean, millet. 
 
118 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 sorted to in her land, and equity and right the 
 things peculiar to her adored America. ''Dena- 
 tionalizing influences of missionaries" are not phe- 
 nomena wholly unknown in mission-fields. 
 
 But looking at a distance from the land of my 
 exile, my country ceased to me a "good-for-noth- 
 ing." It began to appear superbly beautiful, — 
 not the grotesque beauty of my heathen days, but 
 the harmonic beauty of true proportions, occupy- 
 ing a definite space in the universe with its own 
 
 )C historic individualities. Its existence as a nation 
 was decreed by Heaven Itself, and its mission to 
 the world and human race was, and is being, dis- 
 tinctly announced. It was seen to be a sacred 
 reality, with purpose high and ambition noble, 
 to be for the w^orld and mankind. Thrice thank- 
 ful was I that such a glorious view of my country 
 was vouchsafed to my vision. 
 
 This is not the only salubrious result of foreign 
 travel, however. Under no other circumstances 
 are we driven more into ourselves than when we 
 live in a strange land. Paradoxical though it 
 may seem, we go into the world that we may learn 
 
 fs more about oarselves. Self is revealed to us no- 
 where more clearly than where we come in con- 
 tact with other peoples and other countries. In- 
 trospection begins when another world is present- 
 ed to our view. 
 
 Several things conspire to bring about this re- 
 sult. First and most evident of all, loneliness is 
 unavoidable to any sojourner in a strange laud. 
 With the best of friendship he may form in it, and 
 the freest use of its language, he is still a stranger. 
 A conversation, which otherwise might have been 
 enjoyable and exhilarating, is made burdensome 
 by an extra mental energy required in conjugat- 
 ing verbs for right tenses and moods, in giving 
 
In Christendom. 119 
 
 singular predicates to singular nouns, (tilings un- 
 known in my language), and in selecting riglit 
 prepositions out of scores that differ but slightly 
 from one another. Invitations to friendly dinners 
 are deprived of much of the anticipated pleasures 
 on account of extra attentions necessary for con- 
 ducting prehensions, mastications^ and degluti- 
 tions in accordance with the fixed table-laws. We 
 would greatly prefer, therefore, toHbe alone, and 
 help ourselves in our own styles, undisturbed by 
 the staring looks of some ladies watching our sav- 
 age demeanors with their keen, critical eyes. 
 Loneliness becomes doubly sweet to us under 
 such circumstances. Monologues and introspec- 
 tions are daily feasted upon, and the objective 
 and the subjective selfs are in constant commun- 
 ion with each other. 
 
 Secondly, one is more than an individual when 
 he steps out of his country. He carries in himself 
 his nation and his race. His words and actions 
 are judged not simply as his, but as his race's and 
 his nation's as well.' Thus in a sense, every so- 
 journer in a strange land is a minister plenipoten- 
 tiary of his country. He represents his land and 
 his people. The world reads his nation through 
 him. We know that nothing steadies a man so 
 much as the sense of high responsibility. And 
 when I know that my country is condemned or ap- 
 plauded as I behave myself meanly or nobly, then 
 flippancies, flirtings, and levities of all sorts de- 
 part from me at once. I become as grave as an 
 ambassador to the sublime court of St. James. 
 Hence reflection, consideration, and judgment. 
 He who behaves otherwise is not worthy of his na- 
 tion, I believe. 
 
 Thirdly, we all know what homesickness is. It 
 is Nature's recoil upon one's uncongenial sur- 
 
120 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 roiindings. Those familiar faces and hills and 
 fields, which we now miss, but cannot erase from 
 our mental vision, seek for dominancy in our 
 souls; and in our very efforts to conform our- 
 selves to the new environments, the home with its 
 jealous love binds us more to its sweet recollec- 
 tions. Then comes Melancholy to dissolve the 
 aching heart to tears, and drives us into dells and 
 woods to engage in musings and fitful prayers. 
 Our eyes follow the sun as he rolls down into the 
 western main, and bid him to tell our dear ones 
 at home as they behold him in his rising glory, 
 that we are well here and think of them. Thus 
 in spirits' land we dwell. Swallows come and go, 
 men sell and gain or lose, but to the exiled from 
 home monotony runs throughout the year, — com- 
 munion with himself, with God, and with spirits. 
 It must have been with some such providential 
 purposes that Moses was driven to the land of the 
 Midianites before he came forth as a deliverer of 
 his people. Elijah's "flight to Beer-sheba" has 
 ever been a fact ot infinite consolation to one who 
 in a strange land strives to seek God in the loneli- 
 ness of his soul. 
 
 "Sit on the desert stone 
 Like Elijah at Horeb's cave alone; 
 And a gentle voice comes through the wild, 
 Like a father consoling his fretful child, 
 That banishes bitterness, wrath, and fear, 
 Saying 'Man is distant, but God is near.' " 
 
 St. Paul's "Arabia" has always been construed in 
 such a sense, for nothing could be more natural 
 than that the Apostle to the Gentiles should have 
 his term of internal discipline, that he might 
 grasp the Son "at the first hand," and come forth 
 and announce to the world and say: — 
 "I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which 
 
In Christendom. 121 
 
 was preaclied of me is not after man. For I 
 neither received it of man, neither was I taught 
 it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ." 
 
 Soon after my arrival in America, I was '^picked 
 up" bj a Pennsylvania doctor, himself a philan- 
 thropist of the most practical type. After prob- 
 ing a little into my inner nature, he agreed to take 
 me into his custody, and placed me among his "at- 
 tendants" with a prospect that I might taste all 
 the ways up from the very low^est of practical 
 charity. The change was quite a sudden one for 
 me from an officer in an Imperial Government to 
 an attendant in an asylum for idiots; but I did 
 not feel it, as the Carpenter-Son of Nazareth 
 taught me now an entirely new view of life. 
 
 Let me here note that I entered a hospital serv- . 
 ice with somewhat the same aim as that which 
 drove Martin Luther into his Erfurth convent. I 
 took this step, not because I thought the world 
 needed my service in that line, much less did I 
 seek it as an occupation (poor though I was), but 
 because I thought it to be the only refuge from > 
 "the wrath to come," there to put my tiesh in sub- 
 jection, and to so discipline myself as to reach the 
 state of inward purity, and thus inherit the king- 
 dom of heaven. At the bottom, therefore, I was 
 egoistic, and I was to learn through many a pain- 
 ful experience that egoism in whatever form it 
 appears is of devils, and is sin. In my efforts to 
 conform myself to the requirements of Philan-X 
 thropy, which are perfect self-sacrifice and total 
 self-forgetfulness, my innate selfishness was re- 
 vealed to me in all its fearful enormities; and 
 overpowered with the darkness I descried in my- 
 self, I sunk, and writhed in unspeakable agonies. 
 Hence the dreary records of this part of my exist- 
 ence. The present-day reader, more accustomed 
 to the sunny side of human existence, may not be 
 
122 Diary of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 disposed to take them in with any degree of seri- 
 ousness; but to the sufferer himself, they are the 
 accounts of veritable Actualities out of which 
 came the long-sought Peace, and all the blessed 
 
 fruits resulting therefrom, = 
 
 But aside from my internal struggle^^ my life 
 in the Hospital was very far from being unpleas- 
 ant. The Superintendent was a man who took 
 genuine interest in my welfare, and looked after 
 me with real affections, second only to those he 
 lavished upon his own children. He believed in 
 the right state of body for right morals and con- 
 ducts; so naturally his solicitude toward me was 
 more about my stomach than about my soul. 
 Those who knew him not took him for a rabid ma- 
 terialist, especially w^hen they heard him talk 
 about his favorite subject, ''Moral Imbecility," 
 meaning by that constitutional depravity caused 
 by parental mistakes and vile environments. But 
 a materialist and atheis^ he was not. He had a 
 firm trust in Providence, as shown in his constant 
 references to it as the Hand that guided him 
 tlirough all his life. He even attributed my com- 
 ing under his care to Something more than mere 
 chance, and cared and watched over me accord- 
 ingly. His Biblical knowledge w^as extensive, 
 and though not strictly ''Orthodox" in his relig- 
 ious professions, he abhored the heartless intel- 
 lectualism, and would often pronounce Unitarian- 
 ism as "the narrowest and driest of sects," and 
 tliis, notwithstanding his wife was a charming 
 Unitarian woman, and a large part of his employes 
 were recruited from Massachusetts. He indeed 
 sometimes "roared like a devil," as my Irish col- 
 leagues used to tell me, at which the whole house 
 trembled, and everybody tried to stand at a safe 
 distance from him; but withal he had a heart en- 
 
in Christendom, 123 
 
 compassing tlie whole of his large heterogeneous 
 family, a maimed little Johnny and a mute little 
 Sophie being equally at ease with him as our able 
 and strong matron, who would often keep him at 
 bay, and bid him to keep his mouth shut. The 
 Doctor's musical skill was considerable, and 
 many a time after the family was dismissed, he 
 sung to the piano played by our music teacher; 
 and many a time in my internal agonies, my soul 
 was stilled by his tremulous yoice as he threw his 
 whole feryor into his fayorite piece, 
 
 ''Slowly by God's hand unfurled, 
 Down around the weary world. 
 Falls the darkness; Oh! how still 
 Is the working of His will." 
 
 But it was neither his religion nor his music 
 that made me his admirer and faithful learner. 
 It was his systematie thought steadily carried- 
 Into practice, his well-directed will which grad- 
 ually subdued rocky Pennsylyania hills, and made 
 out of them a flourishing colony for the most un- 
 fortunate of mankind; his administratiye skill 
 which could rule and guide and keep in subjec- 
 tion some seyen hundred demented souls; his 
 large ambition extending to dim future, which it 
 will take his lifetime, and his sons' lifetime to re- 
 alize, — all these made him a w^onder and a study 
 to me, such that I neyer haye seen either in my 
 homeland or anywhere else. If he helped me not 
 in unriddling the tough religious doubts with 
 which I was then afflicted, he taught me how to 
 make the most out of my life and religion; that 
 Philanthropy with whateyer high and delicate 
 sentiment if might be backed, is of but little prac- 
 tical use in this practical world, unless it has a 
 
124 Diary of a Japanese Cmivert 
 
 clear head and an iron will to make it a blessing 
 to the suffering humanity. No courses in "Practic- 
 al Theology" could have taught me this invalua- 
 ble lesson so well and so impressively as the living 
 example of this practical man. He it was who 
 rescued me from degenerating into that morbid 
 religiosity (if I may so call it) wherein those so 
 afiaicted 
 
 ^^Sigh for wretchedness, yet shun the wretched, 
 Nursing in some delicious solitude, 
 Their daint loves and slothful sympathies." 
 
 The Doctor remained to the last hour the most 
 trusted of my friends; and with all the differences 
 in age, race, nationality and temperament, the love 
 I contracted toward him has proved to be the most 
 enduring. Oft in my New England college days, 
 when others of my good friends were solicitous 
 about my heart and head, he remembered my 
 stomach, and would often send me some substan- 
 tial helps, bidding me to fetch good square meals 
 ■and be cheerful. And even after my return home, 
 when my out-of-routine ways of action put my 
 mental and spiritual sanity in question with many 
 who belonged to the same household of Faith with 
 me, it was he who never doubted my Veracity as 
 well as Orthodoxy, and sent me succor and cheer 
 from beyond the ocean. Indeed it was he who 
 humanized me. My Christianity would have been 
 a cold and rigid and unpractical thing had I only 
 books and colleges and seminaries to teach me in 
 it. In how manifold a way the Great Spirit does 
 mould us! 
 
 Mrs. Superintendent was a Unitarian. In all 
 my readings in Christian literature at home, I con- 
 ceived anything but favorable opinions about 
 
In Christendom, 125 
 
 Unitarianism. I thought it worse than heathen- 
 ism, and more dangerous because of its seeming 
 affinity to Christianity. I confess, at first I look- 
 ed upon her with strong suspicions. I imagined 
 she was all brain and no heart, insensible to all 
 that was tender and divinely womanly in the life 
 of the Great Master. And I did not conceal my 
 repugnance of the Unitarian doctrines from be- 
 fore my good hostess, — a rude barbarian as I was. 
 But lo! she proved her possession of heart, a good 
 tender womanly heart, by her work in accordance 
 with her own Unitarian principles. My Ortho- 
 doxy was no obstacle to her in befriending me. 
 She'^with the Doctor succored me frequently, and 
 more than he, with her womanly instinct, she 
 "sniffed out" my peculiar pains and comforted me 
 accordingly. Oft during her last illness she remem- 
 bered me in the tenderest terms; and only a few 
 days before she joined Dorothea Dix and other 
 Unitarian saintesses the one who "incorrigibly" 
 supported the Puritanic doctrines was not forgot- 
 ten; and as her last mission-work for the heathen, 
 she sent me from beyond the seas a Christmas 
 gift of most substantial shape to help me forward 
 in the work which she knew was not Unitarian. 
 I believe an Orthodoxy that cannot be reconciled 
 with such aUnitarianism is notworthy to be called 
 Orthodox or Straight-Doctrined. The true liber- ^ 
 ality, as I take it, is allowance and forbearance 
 of all honest beliefs with an unflinching convic- 
 tion in one's own faith. Belief in myself that I 
 can know some Truth, and disbelief in myself that 
 I can know all Truths, are the foundations of the 
 true Christian liberality, the sources of all gooid- 
 wills and peaceful dealings with all mankind. Of 
 course I was not converted to these healthy views 
 in a day, but that our worthy Mrs. Superintendent 
 
126 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 was largely instrumental in /bringing me up to 
 this ideal, I liave no doubt whatever. 
 
 Another inspiring object in the Hospital was 
 its matron! No man I know of was firmer than 
 she; yet she was a woman! She scoured through 
 the spacious building from one end to the other, 
 casting her observant eyes on this boy and that 
 girl; and woe to a careless attendant who put 
 Johnny's stockings to Georgie's feet, or Sarah's 
 bonnet upon Susie's head. That woman ca7i rule as 
 well as man was demonstrated to me by this wor- 
 thy lady bej^ond any question of doubt. She cer- 
 tainly is a product of Christian America, to whom 
 heathendom with all the grace and virtue of its 
 womanhood cannot bring forth any equal. 
 
 One more lovable soul to whom I became firmly 
 attached during my hospital days I must not fail 
 to mention, as one who smoothed away much of 
 my angular Christianity. He was from the state 
 of Delaware, was decidedly a Southerner in sym- 
 pathy, a skilled young physician, an Episcopalian 
 in his religious professon, agile and dexterous, 
 could make an excellent actor, could write poetry, 
 an admirer of the Stuart kings, good, kind, and a 
 most sympathetic friend. In his presence, disap- 
 peared all at once my prejudice against the Kebel- 
 South, engendered in my bosom by my New Eng- 
 land sympathies and acquaintances. My Puri- 
 tanic faith and Cromwellian admiration were no 
 obstacles to admit him to my confidence and love. 
 He once took me to his Delaware home, that he 
 might show me real ladies, at all comi)arable to 
 tliose whom I described to him as my ideals. He 
 said that such did really exist in America, but not 
 in Pennsylvania or Massachusetts. He hired a 
 hackney coach, and took me round first 
 to the Governor's house, and then to the 
 
In Christendom, 127 
 
 ex-Governor's, and so on; and as often as 
 we came out of the presence of a beauty 
 to whom we paid our homage, he asked me 
 ''How is that?" Upon telling Mm that she was 
 not yet up to my ideal, he tried another, and then 
 stilfanother, doing his utmost to wrest the words 
 of approbation from me, as the old knight did 
 from his contestant for his idol. But I remained 
 true to myself, and disappointed him at last. 
 "WTiat do you want then in Delaware?" he said 
 to me finally in bewilderment. It was the peach 
 season, and'l studied in Geography while at home 
 about the superlative quality of Delaware peach- 
 es. I therefore asked for some of the best of them 
 in the state. Such he speedily and gladly ordered, 
 and I had all I wanted and was perfectly sat- 
 isfied. — This was he who revealed to me the half 
 of America from which my Yankee sympathies 
 had kept me in ignorance. Generous, sympa- 
 thetic, true, unsuspicious, — why the whole of 
 American Christianity does not go by dollars and 
 cents, with Jonathan Edwards and Theodore Par- 
 ker. There is such a thing as chivalric Christian- 
 ity, a thing very much to my national heart. I 
 took up somewhat of the spirit of my Southern 
 friend, committed to memory many passages from 
 the Book of Common Prayer which he presented 
 me with, and began to take delight in attending 
 the Episcopal services. Led by God's Spirit, 
 breadth does never contradict one's growing con- 
 'viction in his own faith; and I am ever thankful 
 that I befriended half of Christendom througii my 
 Delaware friend, without weakening in the least 
 my unbounded admiration for Oliver Cromwell, 
 and my attachments to those precious truths con- 
 tained*^ in the Puritanic form of Christianity. 
 The limited space only forbids^nieJiimake men- 
 
 "^ OF THB ^y 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 :£^ CA LI F0RH\^ 
 
128 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 tion of other good friends and sweet influences, 
 wlio and wliicli acted upon me during mj stay in 
 tlie Hospital. Even from the Irish soil, and that 
 not from among its gentries, came inspirations 
 and widening of my mental and spiritual horizons. 
 One strong man I particularly remember, who had 
 a worshipful admiration for Gladstone, and who, 
 when I told him of my envy for his owning such a 
 mighty sovereign as Queen Victoria, signified his 
 strong dissent with a stamping and a remark: ''I 
 would rather be ruled by the king of Abyssinia 
 than be a subject of that d — able woman." And 
 yet what a goodness of heart, and piety too, in 
 these misrepresented sons and daughters of the 
 Emerald Isle. 
 
 With these descriptions of my surroundings I 
 may be allowed to give some more of my diaries. 
 
 Jan. 1, 1885.— Cold. Last night felt much 
 about ^justification by faith! Was on duty 
 during night The first time I took up the 
 work of caring the sick. I thanked God that 
 He opened a way for me. 
 
 The first day as an attendant in an asylum. 
 The long-cherished line of labor, hallowed by the 
 names of John Howard, Elizabeth Fry, and in- 
 numerable other saints and saintesses, was now 
 opened to me. Indeed, I felt I became a saint 
 myself. But already from the very beginning of 
 this my attempt to justify myself by ^'the works 
 of the law," a voice said deep dow^n in my bosom, 
 "a man is justified by faith without the deeds of 
 the law." 
 
 Jan. 6.— Read the Book of Job; much con- 
 soled. 
 
In Christendom, 129 
 
 Again with the help of the venerable Albert 
 Barnes. The two volumes of his Commentaries 
 were hurried through without a stop. That the 
 final outcome of all evils is good, w^s now indeli- 
 bly impressed upon my mind. Ever since I sel- 
 dom have missed this view of life, even amidst the 
 darkest of clouds. 
 
 Jan. 11, Sunday. — Was on duty all the day 
 through. Read Havergal; much taught in 
 spiritual things. 
 
 Jan. 25, Sunday. — This life is a school 
 where we are taught how^ to enter the heaven. 
 The greatest achievement of this life, there- 
 fore, is to learn "the precious and eternal les- 
 sons." 
 
 New lessons are being taught by ministering 
 angels, Francis Havergal the most conspicuous 
 among them. Till then this earthly life was all 
 in all to me, even under the Christian dispensa- 
 tion. The new faith was accepted more for util- 
 itarian purposes, such as happy homes, free gov- 
 ernments, etc., than for its intrinsic spiritual 
 worth. ^'To make my country as strong as Eu- 
 rope or America," was the prime aim of my life, 
 and I welcomed Christianity, as I thought it a 
 great en^ina--lef'-eatTyiTrg'-tmtthifr design. And 
 O ho^^^lnany do still accept it for its socio-political, 
 ■^sons! But now the love of country was to be 
 sacrificed for the love of heaven, that the former 
 might be restored to me in its truest and highest 
 significance. 
 
 ^Feb^-2;— ==Ttie~rcrea of my sonship to God; 
 greatly encouraged. 
 
130 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 Feb. 11.— Read Phillips Brooks on "Influ- 
 ence of Jesus," and greatly encouraged. 
 
 A grand discovery that I am 'Grod's son and not 
 his brother or equal. Why strive to compete with 
 him in strength and purity, that I be received 
 upon '^equal footings" by Him? Presumptuous 
 little god of the world! know thyself, and things 
 will go well with thee. 
 
 And Phillips Brooks! what struggling souls 
 did he strengthen and support? What a depth 
 under his surplice, and ^iiat a broadness behind 
 his Prayer-Book! As I pored over his book, I 
 thought he knew personally all my ills for which 
 he had specifics to offer. A wayfarer takes in a 
 breath after a draught of his elixir, and for a week 
 or two, he marches on with songs upon his lips, 
 the earth with all its bristles and mountains and 
 valleys leveled and smoothed before him. 
 
 Feb. 14. — As far as I know is my own 
 know^ledge and truth. The world may have 
 different opinions, but they are not mine; 
 hence I am not responsible for them. Let me 
 care for what I know, and for no more. 
 
 The extent and limit of my knowledge was to be 
 defined that 1 might armor myself against the 
 multitudinous opinions which were now forced 
 upon me for acceptance. xVmerica is a land of 
 sects, where each tries to augment its numbers 
 at the expense of others. Already such strange 
 isms as Unitarianism, Swedenborgism, Quaker- 
 ism, etc., to say nothing of others with which I 
 was already familiar, were being tried upon me. 
 The poor heathen convert is at loss which to make 
 his own; so I made up my mind to accept none 
 
In Christendom, 131 
 
 of them. What mortals under heaven can make 
 a "right choice" out of dozens and scores of de- 
 nominations, each having its own merits and de- 
 merits? Whv torment a poor convert with the 
 etymology of [^aTmeu and persuade him to be 
 "dipped," when authorities equally as great and 
 pious maintain that even sprinkling is not neces- 
 sary for his eternal salvation. Be merciful to the 
 poor convert, ye "Christians at home." 
 
 Feb. 18. — Much doubting; not a little 
 troubled. My heart must be fixed upon God. 
 Men^s opinions are various, but God's Truth 
 must be one. Unless taught by God Himself, 
 the true knowledge cannot be obtained. 
 
 Horrid struggles with the "selections" of Truth. 
 Is Jesus a God or a man? If I believe He is a 
 man, shall I not be condemned in eternal hell-fire? 
 ^^et they say that Emerson, Garrison, Lowell, 
 /^Martineau, and other great and brave and learned 
 ( men said that He was a man. My belief in the di 
 \^ vinity of Christ was then as foolish and ground- 
 "M^ss as the superstitious idolatary I had left J^ 
 hind with so much sacrifice. While my struggle 
 upon this point is yet unsettled, another set of di- 
 vines comes to me, and kindly cautions me not to 
 be deceived by Protestant devils, and favors me 
 with a copy of Cardinal Gibbons' "Faith of Our 
 Fathers," to peruse it with all prayerful diligence. 
 And as soon as my attention is seriously turned 
 toward the solution of this momentous problem, 
 the agnostic in the name of Darwin, Huxley, and 
 Spencer, admonishes me to give up the futile ques- 
 tion, and to rest in the visible and the tangible. 
 Then souls in all outward appearances as pious as 
 Madame Guiyon herself, tells me that M^^r prophet 
 
132 Dkuij of (( Japanese Convert 
 
 Swedenborg saw lieaven with liis own eyes, and 
 testified with all his mighty intellect that all what 
 he said and wrote was absolutely true. But says 
 great ph3^,siologist Dr. Flint, that Swedenborg 
 was a genuine lunatic. Woe is a conscientious 
 heathen convert in the midst of all these contro- 
 versies. His mind is hurled from one end of the 
 intellectual universe to the other, with no posi- 
 tion safe from some attacks of most ponderous na- 
 ture. Once more I thought of peace and serenity 
 in my grandma's ''heathen" faith. Say not, O ye 
 sect-bound Christians, "Better one year of Europe 
 than a cycle of Cathay;" for you promised us a 
 peace which you really do not have. If dissen- 
 sions and religious animosities are the things to 
 be desired, we had them enough in ''Cathay" with- 
 out entangling ourselves in fresh dissensions of 
 your make and origin. I rememiber I once went 
 to a missionar}^ and asked him the raison d'etre^, 
 if there was one, of sects among Christians. He 
 told me that in his view the existence of sects was 
 a real blessing, as it engendered "emulation" 
 among ditferent denominations, and thus brought 
 about more purity in churches, and rapider 
 growth of God's kingdom. When, however, a few 
 months after this, we started up a new church of 
 our own, contrived in a fashion not very palatable 
 to his taste, the very same missionary sharply 
 reprimanded our audacity, by telling us that we 
 must not add one more new sect to hundreds 
 which were already disgracing the cause of Chris- 
 tianity. But we never have been able to compre- 
 hend his logic. If the existence of sects is "a real 
 blessing," why not increase the number of sects, 
 and get more benefit out of them I P>ut if it is a 
 curse, as we poor converts imagine it to be, why 
 not attempt to annihilate it, and make Methodism, 
 
In Clmstendom, 133 
 
 Presbyterianism, Congregationalism, Quakerism, 
 and all otlier harmless and harmful isms into one 
 great united whole. Crank-headed as we are, we 
 never can unriddle the paradoxical statement of 
 our missionary friend. 
 
 March 8. — Feeling the importance of sanc- 
 tification more and more. The "Ideal Purity" 
 lies before my eyes, but I cannot enter that 
 state. A wretched being that I am ! 
 
 March 22. — Man is too finite a creature to 
 be able to rest upon, and occupy, the whole of 
 the Infinite Foundation of Wisdom. The 
 only thing he can do is to lodge himself in a 
 little corner of this Foundation. As soon as 
 he gets to even this corner, he can be calm 
 and quiet, — so strong is the Rock. This ex- 
 plains the existence of different sects, and the 
 success of every one of them. 
 
 A more humane and rational explanation of 
 "sects." I believe Phillips Brooks helped me out 
 to this. 
 
 April 5, Easter Sunday. — Beautiful day. 
 Spirit was poured out, and for the first time in 
 my life, had a glimpse of Heaven and Immor- 
 tality! O the joy inestimable! A moment of 
 such holy joy is worth years of all the joys 
 which the world can give. My spiritual blind- 
 ness was felt more and more, and I prayed 
 earnestly for light. 
 
134 Dianj of a Japanese Convert 
 
 A day of Resurrection indeed! After months of 
 continual gloom and wrestlings with Spirit, this 
 revelation and respite were welcome to me be- 
 yond my powders of description. I remember I 
 tasted the painted eggs placed before me with a 
 relish more than lingual. In them, (i. e. when 
 they were fresh, and not after they were boiled 
 and hardened and painteid,) I read a sermon illus- 
 trasting the then state of my soul. All my stock 
 of embryological knowledge was now brought be- 
 fore my mind for spiritualization, and I pondered 
 in what stage of soul-development I then was, — 
 whether it was in the "cleavage stage,'' or in the 
 "mulberry stage," or so far advanced as to be near 
 the "chick stage." Soon the shell shall be broken, 
 and I shall mount high on my wings to my Savior 
 and Perfection. O for more light! 
 
 April 6. — More zest and fervor in teaching 
 
 the idiotic children. 
 
 The day before this, I came in contact with one 
 of the most remarkable men I ever have seen in 
 my life-time. The same was the late James B. 
 Richards, of world-wide renown as an indefati- 
 gable teacher of idiotic children. I heard from his 
 very lips some of his early pedagogic experiences, 
 demonstrating to us the practical possibility of 
 "showing the Father" even to the lowest of His 
 children. The impression I received was electric, 
 and its effect, permanent. Since then Philan- 
 throjjy and Education ceased to be the works of 
 mere Pity and Utility. Both were seen to have 
 high religious purposes, — dispencers of God, the 
 only Good. My attendantsh'ip in the asylum was 
 now glorified to a holy and sacred office, and Duty 
 dropped all the slavish elements it had in it. 
 
In Christendom. 135 
 
 Him, Richards, Unitarian in his church-relation- 
 ship, I count among the best missionaries that 
 have been sent to me. His personality, his depth 
 of sympathy, saying nothing of his extraordinary 
 genius as a teacher, smoothed away much of my 
 Trinitarian prejudices I was bred up to in my 
 Orthodox relationship and reading. 
 
 April 8. — The highest conception of human 
 capabilities may be the origin of Unitarian- 
 ism in its purest and highest form. Man, 
 howeyer, cannot attain his highest possible 
 moral altitude by his own efforts; so he drags 
 dowm Christ to suit his w^eak intellect. 
 
 Conception of God is perfectly clear till we 
 come to Christ. Here all stumble. I often 
 think how' clear a yiew^ must I haye with re- 
 gard to my God had there been no Christ. 
 
 Christ a stumblingblock, not only to the 
 heathen Greeks of old, but to the heathen 
 Japanese, Chinese, and all other heathens 
 of this yery day. The Unitarian explanation of 
 him is too simple for the mystic Oriental, but the 
 Trinitarian ''theory" is no less unbelieyable. Who 
 shall roll away the stone for me? 
 
 April 16. — Read Fernald's "True Christian 
 Life." 
 
 April 18. — Much interested in reading 
 Drummond's "Natural Law in Spiritual 
 World." 
 
136 Diarj/ of a Japanrsc Convert, 
 
 April 19. — Took great interest in reading 
 Revelation. 
 
 Fernald was the first Swedenborgian author I 
 read with any degree of seriousness. Indeed I 
 peeped into "Arcana Celestia" some three years 
 before this, but then it w^as too spiritual for my 
 materially-disposed mind. But now in a strange 
 land, grappling with great spiritual problems, 
 mysticism of any sort w^as welcome to me, for 
 what I could not remove in Fact, I could fly over 
 in my Spirit. Then came Drummond to spirit- 
 ualize my science, and they two made me ex- 
 tremely spiritual, ^ow there was left _not hing 
 thati could not ex^taln' aw ay. So I~tQoS up 
 'Revelation, the book that Thad left untouched 
 for fear that it might turn me a skeptic, — a book, 
 I thought, which was intended for angel-kind, 
 and not for inductive human-kind. But if it is a 
 ^ivid portraiture of man's spiritual experiences, 
 I lacked nothing in me to illustrate every passage 
 in it. The Trinity chasm can also be bridged 
 over in that way, and the Immaculate Conception 
 and Resurrection are soon counted among of- 
 courses. And that fearful struggle about the 
 reconciliation of Genesis and Geology, the struggle 
 that drove the famed author of the "Natural His- 
 tory of Selbourne" to madness — it too melts away 
 as easily as September frost before the sun, under 
 the treatment of the author of "Arcana Celestia." 
 But I never have counted 'Swedenborg among 
 blockheads, as many people do. His was a mind 
 beyond my power of conception, and his insights 
 in very many cases are truly wonderful. He who 
 tries to p^et the whole truth from Swedenborg 
 may stumble; but he that goes to him in true 
 scholarly humility and wdth iChristian reverence, 
 
In Christendom, 187 
 
 will, I doubt not, come out greatly blessed. After 
 mucb gross spiritualism into wbicli I sank at my 
 first contact with his doctrines, the influence of 
 that remarkable man upon my thought has ever 
 been healthful. This is not the place, liowever, to 
 state in detail in what respect it was so. 
 
 May 14. — Read Jeremiah; much affected. 
 
 May 16. — Jeremiah affected me a great 
 deal. 
 
 May 27. — Much benefitted by reading Jere- 
 miah. 
 
 My religious readings thus far had been more 
 from '^Christian Evidences" and such stuffs, and 
 less from the Bible itself. Hence I conceived an 
 idea that the Old Testament prophesies were 
 mostly future-tellings, delivered unto mankind to 
 astonish the world with ''coincidences" when the 
 Savior of the race did come at last. So I early 
 included the books of prophets among the incom- 
 prehensible. I read adout them, but not in them. 
 But now with half curiosity and half fear, I 
 peeped into Jeremiah, though the Superintendent 
 once gave us a notice that he would not allow 
 any Jeremiah upon his ground, for such woald 
 set the wbole house to weeping in sight of all the 
 miseries in the Hospital. And lo! what a book! 
 So human, so understandable; so little of future- 
 tellings in it, and so much of present warnings! 
 Without a single incident of miracle-working in 
 the whole book, the man Jeremiah was presented 
 to me in all the strength and weakness of hu- 
 manity. "May not all great men be called 
 prophets?" I said to myself. I recounted to myself 
 
Duiry of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 the great men of my own lieatlien land and 
 wei«»lied their words and conducts; and I came 
 to the conclusion that the same God that spoke to 
 Jim^mhil Ldid also speak to some of my own co un- 
 t rymen, thoug h not so audibly as to him: thatiie 
 
 did notU£ax£,ji s entirely without His light a nd' 
 
 gUida^ e^but W^rl ng qnrl^-ntrhe<"' nvpf~ns tlj^F^ 
 
 long cenTuri?^ as iie''"^T3Tlie most Christian of 
 nations. The thought was inspiring beyond my 
 power of expression. Patriotism that w^as 
 quenched somewhat by accepting a faith that was 
 exotic in origin, now returned to me with hundred- 
 fold mare yigor and impression. I looked at the 
 nxap of my country, and weeped and prayed over^ 
 I compared Russia to Babylonia, and the Czar 
 to Nebuchadnezzar, and my country to the belp- 
 ess Judea to be sayed only by owning the God of 
 hteousness. In my old English Bible I note^ 
 dovKi^such remarks as these: 
 
 Jer.^THyJ^Sj-— \Vho can resis t^ this soli citation? 
 
 Jer. IV, nSp^TliFFrafe' words of sorrow. Ah, 
 my country, my empire, follow thou not the foot- 
 steps of Judea. 
 
 Jer. IX, 18-31; — Is not Russia of the North our 
 Chaldea? Etc. 
 
 For two years from this time I read almost noth- 
 ing from my Bible but the Prophets. The whole 
 j^f- my religious thought was changed thereby-. 
 My friends say that my religion is more a form of 
 Judaism than the Christianity of Gospels. Biit 
 it is not so. I learnt from Christ and His Apostles 
 how to save my soul, but from the Prophets, /w7£j 
 to save my coimtry. 
 
 4 remained in the hospital'serrice for nearly 
 eight moiTtlra , wh err^^tlQubts-^ within me became 
 impossible to be borne for any greater length of 
 time. Relief must be sought somewhere. The 
 
in Christendom. 130 
 
 good Doctor said I needed rest, and prescribed for 
 me Appolinaris' ^yater for my torpid liver; for 
 in his practical view, mucli, if not all, of so-called 
 spiritual struggles could be explained by some 
 derangement of digestive organs. Taking ad- 
 vantage of his medical advice, I went to New 
 England where I had some friends from my na- 
 tive land, for I thought something '4ucky" might 
 come out by change of locations. My heathen 
 trust in ''good lucks" always cropped out when 
 I came to extremities. 
 
 With a sad heart I left the Hospital and many 
 good friends I made there, deeply regretting my 
 imperfect services, and change of plans so soon 
 after committing myself to the care of the good 
 Doctor. Philanthropy, "love-man'' business, I 
 found to be not my own till my "love-self pro- 
 pensity is totally annihilated within me. Soul- 
 cure must precede body-cure, in my case at least; 
 and Philanthropy of itself was powerless for the 
 former purpose. 
 
 But be it far from me to say anything de- 
 preciatory of the work which "angels do envy." 
 It is a work nobler than w^hich cannot be met with 
 anywhere else in this wide universe. Some say 
 mission work to the heathen is nobler. Perhaps 
 so, since as the body is more than garments, so 
 the soul is more than i^s garment, the body. But 
 who ever separated the body from the soul, as 
 we do the orange-skin from the pulp inside? Who 
 ever can save the soul without reaching it through 
 the body? A minister of religion working upon 
 the depart-in-peace-be-ye-fllled-and-warmed prin- 
 ciple is as far removed from heaven, as a curer 
 of the body working upon the health-f or-fees prin- 
 ciple is near to heaven's opposite extremities. 
 Philanthropy is Agapanthropy, if you are particu- 
 
140 Diari/ of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 lar about the relative meanings of the two Greek 
 words for love. "Medicine" said a Chinese sage, 
 ''is an art of love," and as far as I know, the 
 Christianity of Gospels seems to approve this 
 saying though uttered by a heathen. Who then 
 can distinguish Medicine from Theology? 
 
In Christendom, 141 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 IN CHRISTENDOM— NEW ENGLAND COLLEGE LIFE. 
 
 I was to see New England by all means, for my 
 Christianity came originally from New England, 
 and she was responsible for all the internal strug- 
 gles caused thereby. I had a sort of claim upon 
 her, and so I boldly entrusted myself to her. I 
 first went to Boston, and thence to a fishing town 
 near Cape Ann, there to acclimatize myself to 
 New England blue-berries, and to Yankee modes 
 of life and action. For two weeks I wrestled in 
 prayer upon a rocky promontory of the Eastern 
 Massachussetts, with the billows of the Atlantic 
 to moan my wretchedness, and the granite quarries 
 of the state to illustrate the hardness of my heart. 
 I returned to Boston somewhat becalmed. I se- 
 cluded myself in one of its obscure cow-traced 
 streets about a fortnight more, and then I made 
 my way to the Connecticut valley. 
 
 My object in going there was to see a man, the 
 president of a well-known college, of whose piety 
 and learning I had previously tasted in my home- 
 land through some of his writings. To us poor 
 heathens, the idea of great intellectual attain- 
 ments always carries with it that of imperious- 
 ness, and hence of unapproachableness. A man 
 with the double-title of D. D. and LL. D. need not 
 condescend to the commonality to solve its doubts 
 and see to its sorrows. Is not his mind always 
 occupied with ^'Evolution," ''Conservation of 
 
142 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 Energy," and such like? To expect from liini any- 
 thing like personal help to my little soul, I thought 
 to be wholly presumptuous on mj part. I was 
 told, however, that I could see him, and I made 
 up my mind to see him from a distance, if I could 
 do nothing else. 
 
 Miserably clad in an old nasty suit, with no 
 more than seven silver dollars in my pocket, and 
 five volumes of Gibbon's Rome in my valise, I 
 entered the college town, and soon appeared in 
 the president's gate. A friend of mine had previ- 
 ously introduced my name to him; so he knew 
 that a young savage was coming to him. I was 
 introduced to his parlor, and there waited for my 
 doom to be stunned by his intellectuality and 
 Platonic majesty. Hush! he is coming! Prepare 
 thy soul to stand before his sinless presence. He 
 may look through thy heart at once, and take thee 
 for what thou really art, and refuse to own thee 
 as his pupil. The door opened, and behold the 
 Meekness! A large well-built figure, the leonine 
 eyes suffused with tears, the warm grasp of hands 
 unusually tight, orderly words of welcome and 
 sympathy, — why, this was not the form, the mind, 
 the man I had pictured to myself before I saw 
 him. I at once felt a peculiar ease in myself. I 
 confided myself to his help which he most gladly 
 promised. I retired, and from that time on my 
 Christianity has taken an entirely new direction. 
 
 I was given a room in the college dormitory free 
 of charge; and as I had neither a table, nor a 
 chair, nor a bed, nor even a washtub, the kind 
 president ordered the janitor to provide me with 
 few such necessities. There in a room in the 
 uppermost story I settled myself, firmly making 
 up my mind never to move from the place till the 
 Almighty should show^ Himself unto me. With 
 
In Christendom. 143 
 
 an aim like this in view, I was entirely insensible 
 to the lack of mj personal comforts. The former 
 occupant of mv room had the carpet removed 
 from the floor, and the new occupant was not able 
 to re-carpet it. There I found however a table 
 crippled of its drawers, but as its four feet were 
 stiff and strong, I made a very good use of it. 
 There was also an old easy chair with one of its 
 corners broken off, so that it stood really upon 
 tripods; but with a slight equiposing of my body, 
 I could sit and work upon it quite comfortably. 
 The bedstead was of wooden frame and a good 
 one, but it squeaked, and the bed-cover harbored 
 some living specimens of Cimex lectularius, com- 
 monly called the bed-bug. I provided myself with 
 a Yankee lamp of the simplest construction, and 
 this with a small wash-vase besides constituted 
 the whole of my furnitures. I had my pen and 
 ink and paper, and a praying heart to fill up all 
 the rest. 
 
 Thus I began my New England college life. To 
 describe it fully is not demanded by my American 
 or English readers. I got from it all the fun and 
 jest which every student carries away with him. 
 I liked all its professors. Professor in German 
 was the j oiliest man I ever saw. I read Goethe's 
 Faust with him, and he made it exceedingly in- 
 teresting to me, adding not a little of his own 
 pathos to it. The tragedy struck me like a thun- 
 derbolt from Heaven. I still refer to that ''World- 
 Bible" only less frequently than to the Bible itself. 
 Professor in History was a genuine gentleman. 
 He taught me how to be fair in judging the past, 
 and with it, the present as well. His lectures ><f 
 were to me a veritable course in Divinity, though 
 he seldom spoke about religion, but touched most- 
 ly upon ''the progress of humanity." Professor in 
 
144 DUnij of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 Biblical Interpretation gave me special lessons in 
 Old Testament History and Theism. The good old 
 Doctor looked after me with genuine interest, and 
 as I was the only student in his class, we two had 
 a regular debating club for three terms in succes- 
 sion. He fished out Confucianism and other good 
 heathenisms that were in me, and weighed them 
 '/ over against the Scriptural standards. In Philo- 
 sophy I was a total failure. My deductive 
 Oriental mind \tas-wb^lly incompa^itrle.^ with 
 rigoroii»4iiTlucRve processes of perceptions, con- 
 ions and all that, all of which appeared to 
 either as self-evident facts which needed ng 
 distinguishing, or as different names for one an^ 
 the same thing, so treated that the philosouhfer 
 ^ have something to do to kill his tirn^TTo 
 us OrlehtHbr who^depend more ugon:jiu¥-«ight 
 than upon logic foFTlie establisHment of Truth, 
 the Philosophy as I was taught in my New Eng- 
 land college is of comparatively little use in clear- 
 ing up our doubts and spiritual phantasmagorias. 
 I believe no body made a greater mistake than 
 those Unitarian and other intellectually-minded 
 missionaries, who thought that we Orientals are 
 intellectual peoples, and hence w^e must be in- 
 tellectually converted to Christianity. We are 
 poets and not scientists, and the labyrinth of 
 syllogism is not the path by which we arrive at 
 the Truth. It is said of thej[£w»41ratthej eanie to 
 the knowledge.-jo^-^rne'^God by "a succession "of 
 jieyekrttOnsT^ So I believe all the Asiatics ^^^ 
 
 So I liked Geology and -Mineralfrgr-tetrre' than 
 Philosophy, not only for what they really are, 
 but as helps to lead me to the knowledge of Peace 
 that passeth all understandings. Crystallography 
 was to me a sermon by itself, and the measure- 
 ment of the angles of a topaz or an amethyst was 
 
In Christendom. 145 
 
 to me a real spiritual pastime. Then our Pro- 
 fessor in these branches of our study was the best 
 of mankind. He could talk on whole hours upon a 
 single stone picked up on the street, while a Roger 
 and a \Miitmarsh and other good fellows were 
 indulging in delicious naps in one corner of his 
 lecture-room. I never asked mv Professor how he 
 reconciled Genesis to Geology, for I knew his 
 head had no place for such things, stuffed as it 
 was with rocks and minerals and fossils and foot- 
 prints more than it could easily hold. 
 
 But none influenced and changed me more than 
 the worthy President himself. It was enough that 
 he stood up in the chapel, gave out a hymn, read 
 from the Scripture, and prayed. I never have 
 "cut" my chapel-service, i. e. absented myself from 
 it, even for the sole purpose of casting a view 
 upon the venerable man. He believed in God, in 
 the Bible, and in the power of prayer to accom- 
 plish all things. I think those innocent fellows 
 who studied their Latin lessons while that holy 
 man prayed will repent of their doings when they 
 go to heaven. To me I needed nothing more than 
 his clear ringing voice to prepare myself for the 
 battle of the day. That God is our Father, who is 
 more zealous of His love over us than we of Him; 
 that His blessings are so emanant throughout the 
 Universe that we need but open our hearts for 
 His fulness to ''rush in;" that our real mistakes 
 lay ir| nur very effort S-to- bc pure when ^ 
 God Himself could make us pure; that selfishness 
 is really hatred of self, for he that reallylo: 
 jimself^ ould fir s t ^ a±a ^imself an d.gi^e'gij 
 for others; etc., etc.; — these and other precious 
 lessons the good President taught me by his words 
 and deeds. I confess Satan's power over me be- 
 gan to slacken ever since I came in contact with 
 
14() Diary of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 tliat man. Gradually I was exorcized of my sins 
 original and sins derived. I tliink after two years 
 of my college life (for I joined the Junior class), 
 I found myself in a path which pointed heaven- 
 ward. Not that I ceased to stumble, for that I 
 still constantly do, but because I now know that 
 the Lord is merciful, and that He blotted out my 
 sin in His Son, on whom relying I am not 
 estranged from the Everlasting Love. My subse- 
 quent diaries will show that such was really the 
 case. 
 
 Soon after my settlement in the college, I was 
 taken by the President to attend one of great mis- 
 sionary meetings. Indeed, nothing is more indica- 
 tive of the christianness of Christendom than 
 these meetings. Heathendom has no such things; 
 for we care nothing about other people's souls. 
 The mere fact that ten thousand intelligent men 
 and women should fill three or four spacious halls 
 to overflowing to hear about how they can make 
 other nations taste the goodness of Gospel, is by 
 itself impressive enough. Granted that many do 
 come to see shows, and that many others come to 
 be such shows, the fact remains clear that to these 
 people the mission work among heathens is worth 
 to be made a show ; and it is doubtless the noblest 
 and divinest of all religious shows. But when 
 this Mission-show is partaken by the toughest and 
 coolest of the nation's heads, and men and women 
 deadly earnest about it ai)pear upon the stage, 
 and with scars and wrinkles upon their foreheads, 
 tell of their moral warfare with the Kaffirs and 
 the Hottentotts, then the show ceases to be a 
 show, and we too get fired by it. I advise any one 
 of my non-Christian countrymen to be in one of 
 these Mission-shows whenever he finds such an 
 opportunity in Christendom; and I can assure him 
 
In Christendom. 147 
 
 that he ^ill not repent of doing so. The show is 
 worth seeing in all respects. He may see in it the 
 reason of Christendom's greatness, and at the 
 same time, that of his country's smallness. He 
 may thus cease to speak loud about ''the brutality 
 of Christians." I tell you, those Mission-shows 
 are inspiring. 
 
 But the worst lot in these shows falls to some 
 specimens of conyerted heathens who happen to 
 be there. They are sure to be made good use of,' 
 as circus-men make use of tamed rhinoceroses. 
 They are fetcht d up for shows; and such wonder- 
 ful shows! Till but recently bowing before wood 
 and stones, but now owning the same God as that 
 of these white people! "O just tell us how you 
 were conyerted," they clamour; ''but in fifteen 
 minutes and no more, as we are going to hear 
 from the great Reyerend Doctor So-and-So about 
 the ways and means and rationale of the mission." 
 The tamed rhinoceros is a Hying illustration; not 
 a blackboard illustration, but the yeriest speci- 
 men from the yeriest field. And those rhinoce- 
 roses who like to be seen and petted gladly obey 
 the behest of these people, and in the most awk- 
 yvard manner, tell them how they ceased to be 
 animals and began to liye like men. But tliere 
 are other rhinoceroses who do not like to be so 
 used. They do not like to be robbed of their 
 internal peace by being made shows to the people, 
 all of vvhom cannot comprehend through what 
 tortuous and painful processes were they made to 
 giye up the rhinoceros-life. They like to be left 
 alone, and walk silently in God's green field away 
 from the sight of man. But the circus-men do not 
 usually like such rhinoceroses. So they some- 
 times bring some wieldy specimens from the In- 
 dian jungles for this special purpose, (usually yery 
 
1 is Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 joung ones), and take them through the land, 
 show tlliem to the Sunday school children, fetch 
 them upon pulpits, and make them sing rhinoceros 
 songs, and get people interested in missionwork 
 in that way. 
 
 Now I, a regenerate rhinoceros, advise the mis- 
 sion circus-men to be more considerate in this 
 matter. On one hand, they spoil the tamed 
 rhinoceroses, and also induce the untamed ones to 
 simulate the tamed, for that they find the easiest 
 possible way of getting things good for their 
 rhinoceros-flesh. On the other hand, I believe you 
 give false conceptions of w^hat the Christian mis- 
 sion really is to the people whom you like to get 
 interested in your work in that way. I do not 
 read in the Bible that Paul or Barnabus brought 
 a Titus or a Timothy to Jerusalem for the purpose 
 of making them sing Gentile songs, and tell the 
 brethren there in his queer half-incomprehensible 
 way " how he cast his idols into fire and clung 
 unto the Gospel." I read how the great Apostle 
 defended the cause of Gentiles with all his 
 vehemence, and told God's people that they were 
 no better than the godless Gentiles, that both 
 were condemned in sins, and came short of the 
 glory of God; — from all which I conclude that to 
 Paul and Paully-minded people, Gentilism was 
 nothing to make merry about, or even to be 
 "pitied," but it was a thing to be sympathized 
 with, to be taken as their own state, and hence 
 to be treated with all reverence and Christian 
 graces. I do not value tliose contributions raised 
 by making a -Hindoo youth in his native attire 
 sing Toplady in his own Paoli, any more than I do 
 money raised by showing tamed ourangoutangs. 1 
 do not call that a Mission-work that appeals to 
 people's Pharisaic pride, and showing them that 
 
In Christendom, 149 
 
 tiiej are better tlian heathens, urges "the Chris- 
 tians at home" to "pity them." The best of mis-X 
 siouaries are always upholders of the cause and 
 dignity of the people to whom they are sent, and 
 they are as sensitive as the patriotic natives them- 
 selves to expose the idolatories and other degrada- 
 tions before the so-called Christian public. 
 
 Indeed, there are some people w^ho seem to 
 imagine that the cause of Missions can be upheld 
 only by picturing the darkness of heathens in con- 
 trast with the light of Christians. So they make 
 a diagram showing heathens by jet-black squares, 
 and Protestant Christians by ^^hite squares. Mis- 
 sionary Magazines, Reviews, Heralds, all are full 
 of the accounts of the wickedness, the degrations, 
 the gross superstitions of heathens, and scarcely 
 any account of their nobleness, godliness, and 
 highly Christlike characters makes its way into 
 their columns. Many a time in our own experi- 
 ences, we were not a little chagrined to meet no 
 words of approbation for the talks we gave in some 
 mission gatherings, as we touched more upon the 
 virtuous part of our national character, and less 
 upon the heathenish aspect of the same. They 
 said, "If your people are so fine a set of people, 
 why, there is no need of sending them mission- 
 aries." "My dear friend," we often replied, "it 
 is those virtuous set of people who hunger after 
 Christianity more than any other class." The fact 
 is, if we heathens are but slightly better than gib- 
 bons or chimpanzees, the Christians may give up 
 their mission works as total failures. It is be- 
 cause we know something about Right and 
 Wrong, Truth and Falsehood, that we are readily 
 brought to the Cross of Christ. I sincerely believe 
 that the Christian mission based upon no higher 
 motive than "pity for heathens" may have its sup- 
 
150 Diary of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 port entirely withdrawn, without much detriment 
 either to the sender or to the sent. 
 
 March 1. — When God giveth us gifts, they 
 are substantial. Not mere speculations sup- 
 ported by the opinions of others, nor mere 
 visions which are products of imaginations, 
 but real substance which cannot be disturbed 
 by the winds of the world. 
 
 March 8. — Very important day in my life. 
 Never was the atoning power of Christ more 
 clearly revealed to me than it is to-day. In 
 the crucifixion of the Son of God lies the solu- 
 tion of all the difficulties that buffeted my 
 mind thus far. Christ paying all my debts, 
 can bring me back to the purity and inno- 
 cence of the first man before the Fall. Now I 
 am God's child, and my duty is to believe 
 Jesus. For Eis sake, God will give me all I 
 want. He will use me for His glory, and will 
 save me in Heaven at last. ***** 
 
 Those of you who are 'Thilosophically" inclined 
 may read the above passage with a sort of pity, 
 if not with disdain. You say, by the advent of 
 new science into this world, the religion of Luther, 
 Cromwell, and Bunyan, has now passed into a 
 ^'tradition." You say that ''it stands against 
 reason" that faith in a dead Saviour should give 
 a man life. I do not argue with you then. Per- 
 haps a thing like "the responsible soul before the 
 Almighty God" has never troubled you much. 
 
In Christendom.- 151 
 
 Your ambition mav not extend beyond this short 
 span of existence called Life, and your Almighty 
 Judge may be that conventional thing called 
 Society, whose ''good enough'' may give you all 
 the peace you need. Yes, the crucified Saviour is 
 necessarv onlv to him or her who has eternity to 
 hope for^ and^he Spirit of the Universe to judge 
 his or her inmost heart. To such the religion of 
 Luther and Cromwell and Bunyan is no/ a tradi- 
 tion, but the verity of all verities. 
 
 With all the ups and downs that followed the 
 final grasping of the Crucified Son of God, I will 
 not trouble mv reader. Downs there were; but 
 thev were less than ups. The One Thing rivetted 
 my' attention, and my whole soul was possessed 
 by It. I thought of it day and night. Even while 
 bringing up scuttles of coal from the basement- 
 floor to the topmost story where my lodging was, 
 I meditated upon Christ, the Bible, the Trinity, 
 the Resurrection, and other kindred subjects. 
 Once I laid down my two scuttles (I carried two 
 to balance myself) when I reached the middle 
 floor, and then and there burst into a thanks- 
 giving prayer for a new explanation of the Trinity 
 Uiat was revealed to me on my way from the ''coal- 
 Liill." Mv paradise came when the vacation be- 
 can, and the boys all went home to see their 
 mammas, leaving me the sole occupant of the col- 
 lege-hill, to be alone with my Mamma, the gentle 
 Spirit of God. The hill that rang with class-yells 
 and other heathenish noises was now transformed 
 into a veritable Zion. \Mienever Satan left me 
 free to mvself, I pictured to myself the dear and 
 blessed homeland away beyond the seas, and 
 spotted it with churches and Christian colleges, 
 which of course had their existences in my imagi- 
 nations only. No inspiring thought ever came to 
 
152 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 mj mind but I reserved it as a message to my 
 countrymen. Indeed, an empire and its people 
 swallowed up all my leisure hours. 
 
 May 26. — Much impressed by the thought 
 that there is so much more good in this world 
 than the evil. Birds, flowers, sun, air, — how 
 beautiful, bright, balmy! Yet man is com- 
 plaining all the while of the evil. The world 
 needs but one thing to make it a paradise, 
 and that is the Religion of Jesus Christ. 
 
 Am getting to be a real optimist, and this just 
 after I passed a severe New England winter with- 
 out a stove of mine to warm me, and while I was 
 yet in uncertainty as to the payment of my term- 
 bills! 
 
 June 3. — Studied the doctrine of Predes- 
 tination, and was strongly impressed with its 
 import. Heart leaped with joy. Temptations 
 seem to vanish away, and all the noble quali- 
 ties of my mind burn with emotions. Where 
 is fear, where is the power of the tempter, if 
 I am one of God's chosen elects, predesti- 
 nated for his heirship before the foundation 
 of the world! 
 ^ The doctrine that once proved to be the great- 
 est stumbling block to me is now turned to be the 
 corner-stone of my faith. And I believe this doc- 
 trine was enunciated for such very purposes. I 
 believe those are pretty sure to find themselves 
 among the elect who are really seriously anxious 
 about their election while they are doing their 
 
f^ OF THJt^^V-X 
 
 « UNlVEBsiTYJ 
 In (^^irisiemt^miSF^^^^^^^ 
 
 best to please their God. The non-elect do not 
 usually trouble themselves with this question. 
 
 June 5. — O a thought which should humble 
 every Christian! What worthiness attaches 
 to me that I should be one of the elects! Yet 
 to think that I am daily committing sins! 
 
 ^'Enviable delusion!" my Philosopher-friend 
 will say. But not so enviable as you imagine, for 
 the lot of God's elect is the miserablest upon this 
 earth, and you will surely decline it were it offered 
 unto you. ^ Die-to-self-ing day-by-day, that is the 
 election. How do you like it, my Philosopher- 
 friend? 
 
 June 15.— Salvation of my soul is entirely 
 unconnected with the conditions of my sur- 
 roundings and worldly fortunes. Even 
 though I be "steeped" in gold, my soul would 
 remain wholly unaffected. Even though I 
 pass through the severest disciplines of an 
 ascetic, my soul would be like a hungry beast, 
 and would pride itself in its devotion. Unless 
 the Spirit of God touches my heart directly, 
 there cannot be any conversion. What a con- 
 soling thought ! I mourn for poverty, because 
 my flesh suffers thereby. I fear prosperity, be- 
 cause my souPs salvation is in danger. But 
 no! salvation is of God, and no man or thing 
 or circumstance can take it from me. It is 
 surer than a mountain itself. 
 
 This is my version of Rom. VIH, 38, 39. Be not 
 
154 Diary of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 cast down O Poor, for His grace is sufficient unto 
 thee. Be not afraid, O Rich, for He can let go a 
 camel through the eye of a needle. 
 
 July 31. — A terrific thunder-storm last 
 night. I was just then meditating upon 
 eternal life, and fighting against some of my 
 infirmities. All at once, flashings and thun- 
 derlngs removed these "fleshy elements" from 
 my heart, and I found myself dreaming of be- 
 ing struck by a thunder-bolt and lying in rest- 
 ful peace. The first time in my life when I 
 enjoyed a rattling thunder-storm. 
 
 I disliked thunder, and I always thought my 
 end did come when it rattled right above my head. 
 In my heathen da^'s, I called in the help of all my 
 protecting gods, burnt incense to them, and took 
 my refuge under a mosquito-net as the safest place 
 to flee from "the wrath of heaven." And oft in my 
 Christian days as well, my faith was put to the 
 severest test when ''God roared" in the cloud. 
 But now by the grace of God, I was thunder- 
 Ijroof, for fear of all sorts had departed from my 
 heart by the revelation of the crucified Jesus unto 
 me. I said in my heart, ''Strike O Thunder, for I 
 am safe." 
 
 Aug. 16. — O what joys and peace in Jesus, 
 joys in loneliness, joys in friendlessness, yea 
 joys too in sinfulness. O my soul, cling to 
 this precious truth, and turn thy whole at- 
 tention to it! 
 
 *'A mere rhetorical contrast," my critic will say. 
 
In Christendom. 155 
 
 But not so, my friend in Syntax. We Christians 
 do rejoice in our sinfulness. It was the philoso- 
 pher Leibnitz who said that nothing served to lift 
 mankind more than its fall in Adam. Sin is a 
 lever by which we mount to God through His 
 Son, oftentimes to a height wholly unattainable 
 by men and women of the Marcus Aurelius type. 
 
 Sept. 13. — Evening was serene and beauti- 
 ful. Just when I w^as going out to my sup- 
 per, thought came to me that devils cannot 
 attack me when I am dead to the flesh. And 
 this "death to sin" can be accomplished, not 
 by looking into my sinful heart, but by look- 
 ing up to Jesus crucified. I can be more than 
 a conqueror through Him that loved me. The 
 thought was extremely refreshing, and all the 
 burdens of the day were entirely forgotten. 
 Gratitude filled my heart, and I wished to 
 commemorate the day by partaking the Lord's 
 supper. So I pressed a little juice out of a 
 cluster of wild grapes, and put it in a little 
 porcelain dish. Also I cut a small piece of 
 biscuit. I placed these upon a cleanly -washed 
 handkerchief, and I sat in front of them. 
 After a thanksgiving and a prayer, I took the 
 Lord's body and blood with very thankful 
 heart. Extremely sanctifying. I must repeat 
 this again and again during my life. 
 
 "Sacrilegious ! Playing with a holy ordinance," 
 the Churchism and other Popish isms will say to 
 
156 Diaty of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 this. But wlij defj tlie Roman Pope and his 
 fellow priests in this matter of the Sacrament, 
 and grudge to us the same mortals as yourselves 
 this priviledge of remembering the Lord's death 
 when we feel most to do so. If the Pope has no 
 exclusive authority of sanctifying this ceremony, 
 and his vicarship a mere figment of imagination, 
 what authorities have you to support your "apos- 
 tolicity?" I know a Japanese who presented him- 
 self for membership to a certain evangelical 
 church as a baptized Christian, and who, when 
 asked what authorized prelate baptized him, an- 
 swered ^'Heaven." The fact was, one summer 
 afternoon, he was deeply convinced of his sin and 
 found forgiveness in crucified Jesus. He thought 
 the occasion was too solemn to let go without pre- 
 senting himself for the Holy Baptism. But no 
 ^'licensed minister" w^as to be found within twen- 
 ty-five miles of his residence. Just then, however, 
 a summer shower of the most refreshing sort 
 came pouring upon his district. He thought the 
 heaven itself was inviting him to the holy cere- 
 mony. So he rushed right into the midst of rain, 
 and there in a reverential attitude had his whole 
 body drenched by the "heavenly water." He felt 
 the process satisfactory to his conscience, and 
 ever since confessed himself as a disciple of 
 Christ before his idolatrous countrymen. I do 
 not disturb other peoples in their reverence 
 toward the host and golden chalices; and I do 
 not wis'h myself to be disturbed in my preference 
 in these matters. The pith of the whole affair is 
 He Himself, and nie»-^^"iaitfe{UeJheiii^w«^^^ 
 appropriating Him. \Liberty in non-essentiajsl^ 
 
 Nov. 24. — Thanksgiving Recess begins. A 
 very refreshing rest. — In morning as I got up, 
 
In Christendom, 157 
 
 I found outside the door of my room a pile 
 of ruddy palatable apples in an artistic tri- 
 angular basket. It was a great surprise to 
 me. Some kind friend must have left it there 
 to console my lonely soul. O what a kind- 
 ness! Remember, my Soul, such an experi- 
 ence! Often a deed of such kind, though small 
 it- is, touches a human heart more than gifts 
 of hundreds of dollars. How I felt comforted 
 throughout the whole da}- , knowing that there 
 are some unknown souls who think of me, and 
 take interest in me! I bowed down, and of- 
 fered a prayer of thanks with tears of grati- 
 tude. 
 
 Blessings upon blessings be upon that somebody 
 who has not yet made his name known to me! 
 
 Nov. 26. — Visited David Brainard's tomb. 
 
 Nov. 28. — Read the life of David Brainard. 
 As I read his diaries, I felt as if I was reading 
 my own. When I came to the passage where 
 he says "that which makes all my difficulties 
 grievous to be borne, is that God hides his 
 face from me," I could not help crying. It 
 was, however, very consoling to think that I 
 am not the only one whom God disciplines 
 with goads internal and external. I yearned 
 after that sweet communion in heaven with 
 such blessed and tried spirits as his. 
 
158 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 Dec. 4. — In morning at the President's class, 
 I spoke how I came to believe Christianity as 
 the Truth. I honestly and openly told the 
 class how I came to find the conciliation of 
 "moral schism-' only in Christ, and closed my 
 remarks with Luther's words, "I cannot do 
 otherwise; God help me." Indeed, God 
 helped me, and I felt throughout the day that 
 I had done something honest and conscien- 
 tious. Be instructed, O my Soul, that thou 
 art to be a "witness" of what God hath done 
 unto thee. Thou art not to proclaim to the 
 world what thy little intellect has framed to 
 thyself. Trust in the Lord, and be saved 
 through His righteousness. 
 
 Our worthy President, like all true Christians, 
 looked upon ^'heathen converts" with profound 
 respect. (I speak this from my own experience). 
 He told me, how early in 1859, when one of my 
 countryman, a Christian, passed a night under 
 his roof, he was so overtaken with the solemnity 
 of the fact that ''the Gentiles heard the Gospel," 
 that he could not sleep all through the night. I 
 was even afraid that he attached undue worth to 
 us converted heathens, so much so that I had to 
 frankly tell him once that any helps tendered me 
 on account of my being a Christian must be de- 
 clined by all means. But I was always willing 
 to be of any service to him in his classes and 
 prayer-meetings, as I knew he was not going to 
 use me as a specimen of the tamed rhinoceros. 
 That morning I was to confess myself, how with- 
 out any hereditary influence, I came to embrace 
 
Ill Christendom. 159 
 
 Christianity as my faith. I did so right frankly, 
 and I felt the better for having done so. 
 
 Dec. 5. — Much impressed by the thought 
 that God's providence must be in my nation. 
 If all good gifts are from Him, then some of 
 the laudable characters of my countrymen 
 must be also from on high. We must try to 
 serve our God and the world with gifts and 
 boons peculiar to ourselves. God does not"" 
 want our national characters attained by the 
 discipline of twenty centuries to be wholly 
 supplanted by American and European ideas. 
 The beauty of Christianity is that it can sanc- 
 tify all the peculiar traits which God gave to 
 each nation. A blessed and encouraging 
 thought that Japan too is God^s nation, 
 
 Dec. 23. — Took much thought about the 
 means of paying my term bill. 
 
 Some of my readers may be curious to know 
 how I got my living all these days. In several 
 ways. My earnings in Pennsylvania, together 
 with little story- telling with my awkward pen, 
 kept me comfortable pretty nearly through the 
 first year of my college existence. The good Dr. 
 F., my teacher in Biblical Interpretation, once 
 dropped one hundred dollars into my pocket, as 
 from a friend of his, and told me ''to come again" 
 in time of need. Then I am ashamed to say, I 
 showed myself a tamed rhinoceros about half-a- 
 dozen times, and had some things given me in that 
 wav, but not much. Here let it be said in honor 
 
IGO Diary of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 of Christian America, that a heathen convert who 
 proposes to become a minister of the Gospel 
 among his countrymen, usually has no difficulty 
 about his bodily necessities, yea comforts, in that 
 land. But here hypocrisy creeps in, and some 
 Turks, Greeks, Armenians, Hindoos, Brazilians, 
 Chinese, Japanese, who really love their bellies 
 more than their God, feign themselves tamed rhi- 
 noceroses, and craftily indulge in the kindheart- 
 edness of the American Christians in that way. 
 And once in a while the home-churches are cau- 
 tioned by their missionaries on the field of their 
 "promiscuous charity." They are told that those 
 converts whom they housed and educated while 
 they stayed with them, cast their Gospel into the 
 sea on their way home, entered government serv- 
 ice or some others of Devil's service, and even 
 went so far as to malign Christendom before their 
 heathen countrymen. 
 
 But that is not the worst suspicion which a con- 
 scientious convert likes to avoid. He goes back 
 to his homeland, to preach the Gospel he learnt in 
 Christendom by charity. What say his country- 
 men of him and his Gospel? Why, they say 
 "<"there is money in that Gospel," and hoot him and 
 his Gospel off. Poor Convert! he is to sacrifice 
 the very Christian charity to which ne is entitled 
 by his other sacrifices, that he might win his kins- 
 men to Christ. 
 
 Unde r such circumstances, indep^n denceis pru- 
 . dFrm^pEo^say the least, anji.I made up myuund to" 
 stick to it as much as possible. First of all, I cut 
 down my expense to a minimum, and tried to get 
 from the fresh air and God's Spirit whatever nu- 
 triment and comforts that were lacking in my 
 food and garnitures. For the first eighteen 
 months of my college days things went pretty 
 
In Christendom. 161 
 
 nearly as I calculated. But now, this my second 
 Christmas in New England, I had not seen a 
 greenback or a ''We Trust in God" for a long 
 while. I fervently prayed for veritable manna 
 from heaven, but it did not come. I remembered 
 good Dr. F.'s words. I prayed again, made up my 
 mind, and waded through snow and slashes to his 
 home. O how the way appeared long to me that 
 night, though it was not more than a few hun- 
 dred rods! Finally I came to the front of his 
 house, and gazed at the light in his study. Shall 
 I enter and ask for help? For ten long minutes 
 I stood amid snow, reflecting. What if my coun- 
 trymen say that I lived by my religion? My 
 heart failed. I could proceed no further. 
 "Wait," I said finally to myself, and once more I 
 turned my lonely steps toward my room, now the 
 only lighted room upon the whole college hill. I^ 
 weighed two advantages, and found hunger pref- 
 erable to misunderstanding, both by my country- 
 men and other countrymen, — for the Gospel's 
 sake. 
 
 Jan. 5, 1887. — In evening, called upon Dr. 
 F. to ask for some monitary help. It was in- 
 deed a fiery trial. I could scarcely control 
 myself. But he was very kind to me, and 
 promised me to get some. 
 
 I had put off the trial, and tried to remove it 
 from me by my efforts during the Christmas re- 
 cess. Indeed, necessity drove me to show myself 
 a tamed rhinoceros once or twice in some country 
 churches; but still there remained a considerable 
 deficit. The dilemma was now for me either to 
 tax American Christianity, or to remain in debt 
 to the mistress of my boarding house, — she a 
 
162 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 good-hearted woman, recently widowed. While 
 in this terrible dilemma, Providence sent me a 
 help, not indeed in the foi'm of the eatable manna 
 as I expected, but in a thought which has ever 
 since been of priceless value to me. In an old 
 magazine that I took up during those drowzy 
 hours, my eyes caught the following stanza, by 
 one of America's sweetest singers, Adelaide A. 
 Proctor: 
 
 hold him great who, for love's sake, 
 Can give with generous, earnest will; 
 Yet he who takes for love's sweet sake 
 I think I hold more generous still." 
 
 In the power of this song, I once more braved 
 my way to the Doctor, laid my case before him, 
 though tremblingly, and passed through the firey 
 trial in that way. A few days a/fter he fulfilled 
 his promise, when I met him right in front of the 
 town post office. It was near the dusk when one 
 could hardly know another. The good man ap- 
 proached me, said a few kind words, thrust some- 
 thing into my pocket, and soon plodded away, 
 leaving the world to darkness and to me. — Having 
 had m.j bodil}^ need supplied, I dived once more 
 for the pearls of the Spiritual Truth. 
 
 Feb. 5. — Clear, cold. — There are cold days 
 in spiritual world too. I try to warm my 
 heart, to increase my love toward others, to 
 make my prayers more earnest; but such ef- 
 forts are like coal-fires in a cold weather, and 
 are only partially and temporarily effectual. 
 But once the warm and genial wind of the 
 
In Christendom. 163 
 
 Spirit blow, and how easy to warm my love, 
 how earnest become my prayers, and how 
 easy to be cheerful and satisfied! With all 
 the efforts on our part, we are yet miserable 
 sinners. There must come a Help superna- 
 tural to make us pure and holy. 
 
 Those piercing Xew England winters were se- 
 verely felt by me, not so much on account of their 
 biting effects upon my body, for I soon got accus- 
 tomed to them, but because of their consumptive 
 power of my precious coal. The very bricks of 
 the dormitory building had to absorb heat from 
 the poor student's stove before he got himself 
 warmed thereby. But are there not some spir- 
 itual lessons too in this climatic phenomenon? 
 The cheerless room is my heart when left by the 
 Spirit of God, which howmuchsoever we heat is 
 still cold. That genial wind from the direction of 
 the Bermudas is His Spirit, which when it blows 
 put all things to thawing, and relieves the poor 
 student from the fear of coal bills. Blow, O 
 Heavenly Zephyr, and let freezings cease in my 
 heart and elsewhere. 
 
 April 15. — Morning Prayer: I come unto 
 Thee, not because I am clean and pure and 
 loving. I came unto Thee that I may be 
 filled by Thee, so that I can pray to Thee more 
 earnestly, love more, and be instructed more 
 in Thy words and truth. Thou requirest me 
 to feed on Thee, to possess Thee, the Fountain 
 of all goodness, mercy, and love. Obedience, 
 faithfulness, purity come only from Thee, and 
 
1G4: Diari/ of a Japanese Convert 
 
 I cannot produce them by the most strenuous 
 efforts of mine. Thou orderest obedience to 
 Thy laws, not because we are capable of so- 
 doing by ourselves, but that by becoming con- 
 scious of our incapabilities, AA^e may come unto 
 Thee, and possess Thee. Thou hast given us 
 Law that it may take us to Thee. So O Lord, 
 acknowledging my total incapacity and de- 
 pravity, I come unto Thee to be filled with 
 Thy life. I am unclean ; I pray Thee to cleanse 
 me. I have no faith; give TJioit me faith. 
 Thou art Goodness Itself, and without Thee 
 I am all darkness. Behold my foulness, and 
 cleanse Thou me from my guiltiness. Amen. 
 
 April 23. — The Christian's prayer is not 
 asking for his desires to be fulfilled by God's 
 special interpositions. It is truly a commun- 
 ion with the Eternal Spirit, so that he is made 
 to pray for what He hath already in His 
 Mind. All prayers offered in such an attitude 
 will and must be heard. The Christian's 
 prayer is, therefore, a prophecy. 
 
 This I say is a considerable improvement upon 
 my old heathen idea of prayer, which I am sorry 
 to say, is still held by many under the Christian 
 dispensation. I imagined, and many do still im- 
 agine, that God can be so prevailed upon with 
 our prayers that the very laws of Nature can be 
 reversed thereby. Not so, my Soul. Conform 
 thy will to His which always meaneth good, and 
 
In Christendom, 165 
 
 thou Shalt cease to wrestle in impossible prayers 
 to stop the sun in its course, and get more light 
 and pleasure therefrom. 
 
 With reflections like these, my New England 
 college days came to close. I entered it in heavi- 
 ness of heart, and left it with triumphant glory- 
 ings in my Lord and Savior. Since then I studied 
 more and learnt more, but only to corroborate 
 what I learnt upon the classic hill of my college. 
 I believe I was really converted, that is turned 
 
 --^^ back, there, some ten years after I was baptized 
 in my homeland. The Lord revealed Himself to 
 me there, especially through that one man, — the 
 
 ^^'^ pnrrlp-eved ^lion-faced, lamb-hearte jj^fifesident of 
 my college. The Spirit within me, examples be- 
 fore me, and Nature and things around me, sub- 
 jugated me at last. Of course the complete sub- 
 jugation is the work of life-time; but I was right- 
 ed so far as to depend no more upon vain efforts 
 of mine in subjugating myself, but to have re- 
 course to the Power of the L^niverse for that end. 
 A little god of the world, — he is subjugatable only 
 by the Almighty Power Itself. 
 
 As for my intellectual gains in my college, they 
 amounted to but very little; or at least they ap- 
 peared so in comparison with what I gained in 
 my spirit. A student whose mind is so much 
 taken up with the salvation of his own soul, and 
 not a little about the sustenance of his body, can- 
 not be expected to make much progress in his 
 study. But the college dealt with me very leni- 
 ently, indeed munificently. Though I entered it 
 as a special student, and hence was not entitled 
 to any organic relation with it, they adopted me, 
 and gave me a place among her genuine sons, and 
 the boys gave me three yells for the honor thus 
 conferred upon me. Thus I was made to live 
 
If) 6 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 noblj and honorably, not only for my religion and 
 country, but for my alma mater as well. The 
 ^'college-spirit," outside of baseball grounds, is a 
 noble and Christian sentiment, which if loyally 
 stuck to, should alone be sufficient to keep her sons 
 from demagogism, cloth-worship, man-face-fear- 
 ing, and meannesses and unmanlinesses of very 
 many kinds in this world. I understand the 
 spirit of my college to be noble independence, 
 braye defiance of hollow shows of all kinds, 
 patient and reyerential search after Truth, 
 orthodoxy in aiiti-head-religion sense of the 
 term, and not published Paganism, not the re- 
 ligion of ''the greatest probability," not "success" 
 in its yulgar nineteenth century sense. I am ex- 
 ceedingl}^ thankful that I was giyen another such 
 mother to serye and satisfy. May I live worthy 
 of her name and glory! 
 
 I stayed during two long months of the summer 
 vacation alone in the dormitory, now deserted by 
 its turbulent occupants, to prepare myself for en- 
 trance to a theological seminary in the coming 
 Fall. The time thus spent was the best I have 
 had in my life. Serene loneliness, beautiful nat- 
 ural surroundings, constant presence of God's 
 Spirit within me, reflections upon Past and Fu- 
 ture, — indeed the whole hill was beautified into a 
 Zion, a Home of my God. Here is the record of 
 one of those happy days: 
 
 Aug. 27. — Clear, delightful day. — Calm. 
 Often feel very lonely, but I rest upon my God. 
 I asked my soul what shall she do if God take 
 away my life right now. She answered: "I 
 shall rejoice even though He slay me. God's 
 will will surely be carried out even though I 
 
In Cliristendom. 167 
 
 be destroyed. The consecrated soul rejoices 
 only in the glorification of God, and not in its 
 own success." 
 
 Sept. 12. — The last day in A. — A very im- 
 pressive day. I thought of many struggles 
 and temptations I met here during the last 
 two years. I also thought of many triumph- 
 ant victories I have gained over my sin and 
 weakness by God's help, and of many glorious 
 revelations from Him. Indeed, my whole 
 life has been directed toward new paths, in 
 which I can now proceed with hope and cour- 
 age. May God's choicest blessings accom- 
 pany this hallowed hill!— Went to see Presi- 
 dent to say good-bye. As usual, tears came 
 to my eyes when I stood before that vener- 
 able man, and I had but very little to say, 
 because I had so much to say. After giving 
 me some advice, he handed me one hundred 
 dollars to help me in my further career, and 
 then dismissed me with rich blessing. Tears 
 burst into my eyes, and I spoke to him some 
 sobbing words. Lord knoweth how much I 
 think of that man. He did me everything, 
 and now after receiving my education, di- 
 ploma, and many other things, I go away 
 
 with I as a ^'balance," as he said! O my 
 
 Soul, be sure to open thy purse and heart 
 
168 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 freely to the poor and afflicted when Lord will 
 intrust thee with money and grace. — When I 
 returned to my room, I found three swallows 
 straying into it, because the night was dark 
 and boisterous outside. They flapped their 
 wings furiously against the walls. I gently 
 caught the timid creatures, and though I was 
 afraid of sending them into darkness, I dared 
 not to keep them in my room, because they 
 w^ere afraid of my presence. So after com- 
 mending them to the merciful care of the 
 Father of the Universe, I sent them away. 
 
 The next day, I left my college-town, and came 
 to my seminary. 
 
In Christendom, 169 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 IN CHRISTENDOM— A DIP INTO THEOLOGY. 
 
 It was after long-continued fearful struggles 
 that I finally submitted myself to become a tbeo- 
 logue. I toid you before that I was born in a sol- 
 dier family, and soldiers with all practical men 
 despise pedantries and sentimentalities of all 
 kinds. And what class of men are usually more 
 unpractical than priests? The wares they deal 
 out to this busy society are what they call senti- 
 ments, — those uncertain nothings manufactur- 
 able by the worst sluggard in the world, — for 
 which they get in return food, clothing, and other 
 things of real and substantial worth. So we say 
 priests liye by charity, and we belieyed sword to 
 be more honorable means of existence than char- 
 ity. 
 
 To be a priest is bad enough ; but to be a Chris- 
 tian priest I considered to be the end of my doom. 
 In a heathen country like mine. Christian minis- y 
 ters are supported either directly or indirectly by 
 foreigners, and are to place themselyes under the 
 jurisdiction of foreign bishops of one kind or the 
 other. As no true German suffers himself to be 
 ruled by an Italian or a French priest, so no true 
 countryman of mine suffers himself to be shackled 
 by a foreign influence of any kind. To call in an 
 aid of economic principles, like Laissez faire and 
 Quid pro quo, to deliyer oneself from this consci- 
 entious regard for national honor, we consider to 
 be a baseness, and eyen a danger to our national 
 
1 70 D ia )!/ of a J a pa n r,9r Con vert 
 
 independence. Thought is cosmopolitan, and we 
 are ghid, yea thankful, to be taught by all men of 
 all nations. But not so bread. The fact is, the 
 bondage of mind is not the most dangerous kind 
 of bondage; but that of stomach is. France had 
 great Frederick's mind in bondage; but it was he 
 who delivered Germany from French domination. 
 I*russia had Voltaire's stomach in bondage; and 
 behold his misery and degradation. Cosmopoli- 
 tanism in the sphere of things is always a vicious 
 principle. 
 
 Thus in my case Christian priesthood meant a 
 bondage of dou'ble nature; and honor for myself 
 and honor for my country had kept me from con- 
 ceiving any idea whatever of entering into v^hris- 
 tian ministerial service. Indeed, the first and 
 grea^€si-"fEirriE--hM-4di£iiJLjms_fi^ 
 ^accgjytChristianity was that they might make a 
 priesFoiTrof me. — ±Trd afterward when my enthu- 
 siasm in religious works called forth the attention 
 of my Christian friends, and made them think 
 that m}^ probable mission in this life might be 
 preaching, I rejected their suggestions with oaths 
 ;^and fistings. Professional clergymen I hated 
 from the bottom of my heart, and I was perfectly 
 wild when any of my friends persuaded me to be- 
 come one. 
 y But this life-long prejudice against priesthood 
 was greatly mitigated by my contact with clergy- 
 men of high and noble order. The worthy Presi- 
 dent of my New England college was a clergyman 
 and theologian. The Methodist minister from 
 whom I received baptism was a clergyman of 
 most admiring character; and I always excepted 
 him wlien I indulged in my usual denunciations 
 of priest-class. Dr. F., my teacher in the Biblical 
 Interpretation, Dr. B., our college-pastor, and oth- 
 
In Christendom. I'J'l 
 
 ers,— they were all elergTmen, and were not hum- 
 bugs and traders in wind. I cauie to see that 
 clergymen are sometimes the most useful mem- 
 bers of society, that it does pay to haye a good 
 minister, that'they are here upon this earth doing 
 something, and many a time, great things. 
 
 Was not Luther too a clergyman, though not a 
 common clergyman? Was not John Knox, that 
 yaliant idol-breaker, a clergyman and theologian . 
 VN^ere not some of the world's greatest warriors 
 too thoughtful students of Theology? John 
 Hampden, my ideal gentleman and Christian, 
 thouo-h an Englishman he,— was not his heroic 
 deedW result of his profound theologic conyic- 
 tions? Gaspar de Coligny,— was his Theology of 
 no account to him in forming his gigantic scliemes 
 for the renoyation of his beloyed France? If The- 
 ology was a plaything and a sorcerer's cup ot tne 
 world's greatest liars and hypocrites, has it not 
 also been the employment of the world's mightiest 
 intellects, and the discipliner of the world s no- 
 blest souls? If, as its etymology indicates, ihe- 
 oloijy is the science of God, what true sons of 
 Adam can excuse themselyes from the reyerential 
 study of the same? What science of God s Ln - 
 yerse is not Theology? And what actions of man 
 Ian be right and true if not guided by the science 
 of God'^ O my Soul, be thou a theologue then. 
 Deliyer it from^the hand of hypocrites and spirit- 
 ual quacks, as Dayid did God's Ark from the 
 hand of the Philistines. The science itself is the 
 noblest of all; man only is yile who leayes it in 
 the hand of ''heathens." . 
 
 The daily increasing sense of reality of spiritual: 
 experiences helped me to dispel all the notions of 
 hoHowness and non-utility which I had once at^ 
 tached to Theology. Indeed I saw the reason of 
 
172 Dianj of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 my hatred of Theology. If spirit is real, as rice 
 and potatoes are real, why despise Theology and 
 praise Agriculture? If it is noble to grow corn, 
 and feed myself and my hungering fellowmen 
 with the fruits of God's Earth, why ignoble to 
 learn of His Laws to appropriate His Spirit to our 
 hungering souls, and be made nobbier and manlier 
 thereby? xVgriculture that raises only husks and 
 straw, and gives them out to the public as real 
 wheat and rice, we despise and hoot at. That 
 indeed is no Agriculture, but it is Rock-Culture 
 and Sand-Culture, which really feed nobodj'. So 
 Theology I have been reviling at is Xo-Theology. 
 It was Demonology. that gives out wind in place 
 of spirit, rhetoric in place of sermon, and sound 
 in place of music. Theology is substantial, eat- 
 able and drinkable, — so substantial, so nutritious 
 that whosoever drinketh of the water it giveth 
 shall not thirst, and whosoever eateth of the flesh 
 it giveth shall not hunger. Ashamed of The- 
 ology? Yes, be thou forever ashamed of No-The- 
 ology, of Demonology, be it taught in Theological 
 Seminaries or other institutions; but of Theology 
 proper, wherever taught, be thou proud. The 
 world that holds in honor the names of George 
 Peabody and Stephen Girard, who freely gave out 
 their perishable possessions for the relief of the 
 poor and hungry, will continue to revere the 
 names of Neander and Julius Muller and others 
 of their kind, who systematized our religious 
 thought, and made good-doing and God-serving 
 almost a scientific possibility. "Heart is the cen- 
 tre of Theology," said the father of the Church 
 History, and he that has no heart, but stomach 
 only, should stand outside of it. 
 
 Thus persuaded, I made up my mind to study 
 Theology, but upon one important condition; and 
 
In Christendom, 173 
 
 that was that / shoul d never be licensed, I said 
 in my heart, "Lord, i sHall ^sluayTheologv if Thou 
 compellest me not to be a reverend. Should I 
 succeed to take in all the theologies of Christen- 
 dom, I shall not add to mv name that ponderous 
 title designated bv double D's. Fi'om that Thou 
 must release me for this final sacrifice of mine." 
 He said Yea, and upon that agreement I entered 
 a Theological Seminary. 
 
 Sept. 18. Sunday. — If Theology is a science 
 in which there is nothing real and practical, 
 it is not worth studying. True Theolog}^ 
 how^ever, is something real, yea, more real 
 than any other science. Medicine alleviates 
 physical sufferings of man; Jurisprudence 
 treats of the civil relations of man to man; 
 but Theology looks into the very cause of 
 physical diseases and civil disorders. The true 
 Theologian is naturally an idealist, but he is 
 not a dreamer. The realization of his idea 
 lies many centuries in future. His w^ork is 
 like contributing a brick or tw^o into a mas- 
 sive building w^hich takes an infinite number 
 of years to be completed. He puts his hand 
 upon it, only believing that honest and faith- 
 ful w^orks will never be lost. 
 
 -^ Sept. 19. — Theology is too big a theme to be 
 comprehended by small men. When small 
 minds find themselves too small for such a 
 gigantic theme, they construct their ow^n 
 
174 Diarif of a Japanese Convert 
 
 theologies fitting their own smallness, and 
 throw anathemas at those who comprehend 
 it better than thej. O my Soul, do not con- 
 tract Theology to fit thy smallness, but ex- 
 pand thyself to fit its largeness. 
 
 Oct. 12. — Rather disgusted with works in 
 the recitation rooms. We discussed upon hell 
 and purgatory in New Testament exegesis, 
 and on equally unsubstantial subjects in 
 Apolegetics. Spiritless Theology is the driest 
 and most worthless of all studies. To see 
 students laughing and jesting while discus- 
 sing serious subjects is almost shocking. No 
 wonder they cannot get at the bottom of the 
 Truth. It requires the utmost zeal and earn- 
 estness to draw life from the Rock of Ages. 
 
 Nov. 3. — I am seeking for a higher type of 
 morality than "must." I am hungering after 
 the morality that cometh from God's grace. 
 But such a morality is denied not only by the 
 majority of mankind, but very little seems to 
 be believed in by the students and professors 
 of theological seminaries. I do not hear any- 
 thing new and different within these sacred 
 walls from those which I hear outside. Con- 
 fucius and Buddha can teach me the largest 
 part of what these theologues are presuming 
 to teach to the heathen. 
 
In Christendom, 175 
 
 Nov. 7. — What is this world? It is a scene 
 of universal enmity and dissension. Infidelity 
 versus Christianity, Roman Catholicism ver- 
 sus Protestantism, Unitarianism versus Or- 
 thodoxy, — mankind pitches its tent, one part 
 against another part, one section of one part 
 against another section of the same part, — 
 each trying to benefit itself by the mistakes 
 and failures of others. Not only are individ- 
 ;uals not to be trusted, but mankind as a whole 
 ^re generations of vipers, manhaters, descend- 
 ants of Cain. O my soul, away from isms, he)( 
 they Methodism or Congregationalism, or any 
 other high-sounding isms. Seek the Truth, 
 quit thyself like a man, cease from men, and 
 look above thee. 
 
 Nov. 18. — Am reading Life of David Hume. 
 My religious enthusiasm is cooled down by 
 coming in contact with the cool mind of this 
 acute philospher. But I am willing to test 
 my religious experiences in rigorous scientific 
 ways. I want to be intellectually certain that 
 I am not dwelling in "the Fata Morgana of 
 philosophic dreamland.'' In this age of pro- 
 gress of physical science, it won't do to get 
 rid of doubters with anathemas. Religion 
 must be objectivized, made "tangible" and 
 scientifically comprehensible. Yet alas! I 
 
176 Dianj of a Japanese VonrerL 
 
 see around me the trodding of the same old 
 paths, each trying to excel the other how to 
 ape the good old ministers who were "very 
 much liked by their parishioners." 
 
 Dec. 5. — In every man's life there is a sort 
 of paradigm divinely appointed beforehand. 
 Ills success consists in conforming himself to 
 this paradigm, neither coming short of it, nor 
 exceeding it. In it alone is perfect peace. 
 His body and mind can be used to the best 
 possible advantage when he walks in it. Lack 
 of ambition often keeps him short of it, and 
 he goes away from this world without accom- 
 plishing his work to the utmost of his capac- 
 ity. On the other hand, too much ambition 
 causes him to overleap it; hence shattered 
 system and premature death. Man's selective 
 power (free-will) lies in conforming himself to 
 this paradigm. Once he puts himself in the 
 current, then his efforts are no more spent in 
 propelling him forward, but only in keeping 
 him in the current. Take up, enjoy any bless- 
 ings that lie in this current, but never go out of 
 it to hunt after them. Dare through any ob- 
 stacle which obstructs this current, for it can- 
 not be an immovable mountain, since God ap- 
 pointed the way. For all this, trust not thy- 
 self. God hath appointed thy current ; He also 
 
In Christendom, 177 
 
 hath appointed a Captain for thee. "Hear ye 
 
 Dec. 29. — I feel ashamed that I am still 
 ashamed sometimes before others of my 
 studying Theology. The fact is, the worldly- 
 minded cannot see the spiritual side of any 
 study, and of course the idea of preaching for 
 the sake of bread and butter must appear to 
 them extremely mean. The real self-sacrifice/' 
 of becoming a true preacher of the Gospel 
 lies in the fact that the self-sacrifice does not 
 look like a self-sacrifice to the mass of man- 
 kind. Yea more, it does look like the greatest 
 possible meanness to them. Not so with prac- 
 tical charity and kind deeds of other sorts. 
 To hide it (study of Theology) as much as pos- 
 sible from those who consider it a sacrifice, 
 and to confess it before those who consider it 
 a meanness, — ah yes, the Christian must go 
 on a pretty thorny path in this world. In- 
 deed, narrow is the way that is alloted to the 
 children of the Cross. Father, forgive my 
 open denials of Thee before men, and give me 
 more courage and confidence in my calling. 
 
 But I was not to continue my study of Theology 
 any further. Severe mental strains of the past 
 three years unsettled my nerves, and chronic in- 
 somnia of a mo^t fearful kind took hold of me. 
 
178 Diai'ii of a Japanese Convert 
 
 Rest, bromides, prayers proved ineffectual, and 
 the only way now open for me was one leading 
 toward my homeland. I was to quit Theology, 
 and to go home with whatever gains I had made 
 during my exile in foreign lands. 
 
 Further recollections showed me, however, the 
 wisdom and reasonableness of such an order of 
 Providence. American seminaries, established 
 expressly to train young men for American 
 churches, are not the fittest places to train one 
 destined for fields otherwise circumstanced than 
 that country. Besides the exegetical studies of 
 the Old and New Testaments, much that is taught 
 in these seminaries may be dispensed with with- 
 out detracting much from the usefulness of prac- 
 tical workers in missionary lands. Not that Pas- 
 toral and Historical and Dogmatic and Syste- 
 matic Theologies are of no moment to us, for I 
 sincerely believe there is no branch of the human 
 knowledge which the Christian need not know; 
 but the question is that of comparative import- 
 ance. Not sceptic Hume, nor analytic Baur are 
 we to grapple with, but with the subtilities of 
 Hindoo philosophies, the non-religiosities of Chi- 
 nese moralists, together with the confused 
 thoughts and actions of new-born nations, mate- 
 rialistic in their new aspirations, but spiritual- 
 istic in their fundamental conceptions. ''Church'^' 
 in the common acceptation of the term as used by 
 the Occidental Christians is wholly unknown 
 among my countr;yTiien, and it is yet a grave ques- 
 tion whether this institution, valuable though it 
 doubtless is in other countries, can be planted 
 with any hope of stability among the people to 
 whom I belong. The method of moral and relig- 
 ious teachings to which we have been accustomed 
 during twenty centuries of our national existence 
 
In Christendom. 179 
 
 is not that of sermonizing upon texts and deliv- 
 ery from pulpits. With us we make no distinc- 
 tions between moral and intellectual trainings. 
 The school is our church, and we are expected to 
 bring up our whole beings in it. Idea of special- 
 ity in religion sounds extremely odd, and even re- 
 pulsive, to our ears. Priests we have, but they 
 are essentially temple-keepers, and not teachers 
 in Truth and Eternal Verities. All our moral re- 
 formers were teachers, ''pedagogues," who taught 
 in things of spirit while they taught in letters and 
 science. "Knowledge is of worth as it enlightens 
 ways of righteousness. Man applies himself to 
 its acquisition nof to become a professional mor- 
 alist thereby." So said Takayama Hikokuro, 
 that eccentric heathen Japanese, and it was he, 
 together with many such as he, that wrought the 
 grandest and noblest reform, moral, political, and 
 otherwise, that that island empire has ever wit- 
 nessed. 
 
 And what about means and arts of soul-convert- 
 ing, church-member-making, and other similar 
 business? A soul converted to Christianity by 
 means and arts can be reconverted to healhenism 
 also by means and arts. We in this materialistic 
 century make too much out of environments. 
 Darwinism seems to have converted Christianity 
 at last. Good choirs, pleasant church sociables, 
 young ladies' bazars, free lunches, Sunday-school 
 picnics, — all such are now considered as ' impori- 
 a?it 7neans to keep up spirit, and much of "Pas- 
 toral Theology" seems to be occupied with such 
 business. And if polished Rhetoric is more cov- 
 eted by young theologues than Fire, — and even 
 that Fire for Rhetoric's sake, — and if preachers' 
 sermons are talked about more from the elocution- 
 ary and dramatic standpoints of view than from 
 
180 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 their fire-setting and idol-breaking aspects, well 
 might Chrysostom curse his tongue that deliv- 
 ered heavenly oracles with golden resonance, and 
 Augustine despise Rhetoric as an art of deception. 
 If, as critics tell us, St. Paul was not the handsom- 
 est of men, and his Greek not the purest of its 
 kind; if Bossuet's eloquence and Masillon's fin- 
 ished style could not revert the onslaught of the 
 French Revolution ; if Bunyan a tinker and Moody 
 a store clerk could make as good preachers of 
 Gospel Truth as their ages could wish, — then 
 need I not be sorry that I was not able to finish 
 my training in a theological seminary. 
 
 I told you that I came to my seminary upon an 
 agreement that I should never be licensed. Some 
 of my good friends were sorry of my quitting the- 
 ological study without having gone with it so far 
 as to get a license. With me, however, license 
 was the thing I was seriously afraid of. And the 
 fear that I had entertained about the bestowal of 
 this new privilege upon me grew more as I ob- 
 served its benefits talked about within the walls 
 of my seminar3\ ''One thousand dollars with 
 parsonage," "twenty dollars' sermon upon Chi- 
 cago anarchy," and similar combinations of such 
 words and phrases sounded very discordantly to 
 my ears. That sermons have market-values, as 
 porks and tomatoes and pumpkins have, is not an 
 Oriental idea at least. We Orientals are very 
 suspicious set of peoiple. So remarked John Stu- 
 art Mill, and compared us to Catholic Spaniards. 
 And none we suspect more than one who has re- 
 ligion for sale. With us, religion is no^ usually 
 convertible into cash. Indeed, more religion, /^ss 
 cash. Superstitious as we are, we cannot yet rec- 
 oncile Religion with Political Economy. And if 
 license seals market-values upon our religion, 
 
In Christendom, 181 
 
 happj am I if I am not so sealed, for I thus escaipe 
 from the temptation. 
 
 Indeed, this matter of paid ministry is yet a 
 much mooted question with us. Our heathen 
 teachers used to have no stipulated pays for their 
 services. Twice every year, their pupils brought 
 to them whatever did lie in the power of each to 
 bring. From ten pieces of gold to a bundle of 
 parsnips or carrots, were gradations of such 
 ''tokens of gratitude," as they were called. They 
 had no deacons to poke them to death for church- 
 dues and pew-rents, and other such things. A 
 teacher was expected to remain as no-teacher till 
 he had made enough progress in his spiritual dis- 
 ciplines as to be able to rely entirely upon heaven 
 and his fellowmen for the support of his body. 
 This they considered a most practical method of 
 "natural selection," no danger thus of being im- 
 posed upon with pseudo-teachers and time-serv- 
 ers. 
 
 I grant that man does not live by spirit alone, 
 but by every thing that springs out of the ground 
 as well. This is an argument for paid ministry, 
 and we consider it an entirely fair argument. Our 
 present-day Physiology deduces forces mental 
 and forces spiritual from pieces of bread and mut- 
 ton ; and why not upon the principle of ''Transmu- 
 tability of Energy" exchange spirit for mutto7i? 
 Starvation of our bodies is no less a sin than that 
 of our souls. Divine laws of health require that 
 head-working and heart-taxing ministers of Gos- 
 pel be properly and nicely fed and clothed. 
 
 The poor exacting Orientals cannot, however, 
 see into this simple scientific argument. They 
 do believe that man does not live by bread alone; 
 that spirit somehow is a bodily food as well, and 
 that mutton-chops and chicken-pies can be dis- 
 
182 Dianj of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 pensed with bv tliose who live with the plenitude 
 of heavenly spirit in them. Hence ''unkind" crit- 
 icisms upon the ways of missionaries' living. Of 
 course these missionaries do not live in "palatial 
 styles/' as sometimes reported by the enemies of 
 Missions. They only live as they live in their 
 own lands. But to the people among whom they 
 are sent, they do appear to live palatially. You 
 know w^ealth and comforts are only comparative 
 terms, and a lounge is a luxury to one who rolls 
 upon a straw-mat. Herein comes, therefore, one 
 barrier through which missionaries' zeal had to 
 work pretty hard, in order to reach the perishing 
 heathens with the glad tidings of salvation. 
 
 And once in a while come some ''blessed" mis- 
 sionaries, who, looking into this idiosyncracy of 
 heathens, comport themselves accordingly. They 
 strip off their white neckties, have their heads pig- 
 tailed, deny themselves of pies and other home- 
 delicacies, learn to bend their legs upon straw- 
 mats, and in all ways and diverse manners, go 
 into their earnest business of winning souls to 
 Jesus. To such we heathens 'bear with gladness. 
 They help us wonderfully in coming to Light and 
 Trulh, and we bless them and Him that sent them 
 for the good they do unto us. Such a missionary 
 was one Mr. Crossett, a Presbyterian missionary 
 to China. He became a Chinaman himself, and 
 that not a Mandarin kind of Chinamen. Finally 
 his "eccentricity" deprived him of home-support; 
 but he had heathens themselves to help his works 
 on. He started poor-houses in Pekin, supported 
 by heathen Pekinese merchants. He travelled 
 in steerage with average Chinamen. While thus 
 on his mission over the Yellow Sea, the call to his 
 high home came to him. The remonstrance of the 
 ship's captain to him to come to his cabin and 
 
tn Christendom. 183 
 
 there lie in comfort was gently declined, as lie 
 would like to die among tlie people to whom he 
 was sent. They forced him to the cabin, and 
 there he expired, commending all around him to 
 his God and Savior. The news of his death 
 reached his homeland. Religious papers passed 
 it over without much comment upon it. Yea 
 more. Cases were cited tacitly proving that his 
 sacrifice was a foolish sacrifice, that good can be 
 done in the first-class cabin, with white neck-ties 
 on. Yet Pekinese and Tentsinese and other pig- 
 tailed gentlemen do not forget his service. They 
 gave him the name of '^Christian Buddha,"— so 
 hallowed was his presence among them. Of his 
 religion perhaps verv few of them benefited them- 
 selves; but of him\ill had to learn something 
 about divine sorrow and love. 
 
 A fortunate missionary he! Perhaps not every- 
 body can imitate him. Perhaps his stomach was 
 that of an ostrich, that could digest Chinamen's 
 food without dyspeptic effects. I say he was fortu- 
 nate, because 'such as he need not complain of 
 '^the difficulty of the station." We will not try to 
 ape him, because aping is hypocrisy, and no good 
 conies out of it. Pigtailing and steeraging are 
 not the essence of the matter, of course; but his 
 spirit isy which we will not despise as an ''eccen- 
 tricity." We will pray to be made like him, if 
 any of us are ever ambitious to be successful mis- 
 sionaries among heathens. 
 
 But this adaptability to all surroundings is not 
 to be acquired by seminary trainings. Such train- 
 ings do indeed adapt us to wrong surroundings, 
 from which it is extremely difficult to un-adapt 
 ourselves. Many a case do I know of my own 
 eountrvmen, who have adapted themselves to Oc- 
 cidental ways of life and thought during such 
 
184 Dianj of a Japanese Cmwert 
 
 trainings, and coming Tiome as strangers, "has 
 each to re-adapt himself to his former surround- 
 ings with the utmost difficulty. Boiled rice and 
 smashed beans do not afford him all the nutriment 
 his newly-adapted system requires, and sittings 
 upon hard straw-mats cause synovitis and other 
 troubles of his lower limbs. His throat suffers, 
 because native churches have no steam-heaters to 
 take off chill from the air, and his head rings, be- 
 cause the ventilation is poor. The least he needs 
 is greatest in the eyes of his people. He loses 
 flesh, and with flesh, spirit. Preaching becomes 
 unbearable. To some other occupations he be- 
 takes himself, and others hardier than he take his 
 place. Struggle for existence is too much for 
 him. — ^Then his method of thought: how incom- 
 patible it too has become with that of his country- 
 men! He denounces Hume-ism and Theodore- 
 Parker-ism; but Hume and Parker have had no 
 existence in the minds of the people to whom he 
 is preaching. The downfall of the Roman Em- 
 pire and the persecutions of Bloody Mary sound 
 as ''wind to the horse's ear," as we term all incom- 
 prehensibilities. He proves Biblical truths by 
 the Bible; but the Bible is no more to these people 
 than some sooty parchments of idle antiquarians. 
 His sermons fly over their heads and vanish into 
 the air. He is disappointed with his hearers, 
 and his hearers with him. Dissatisfaction, 
 grumbling, resignation, separation. Should we 
 make princes to send to beggars? * * * 
 
 But these are only the negative aspects of sem- 
 inary life, which I called forth to my reflections 
 to console myself in the misfortune of the hour. 
 The positive benefits of theological training need 
 not be counted here in detail. If a seminary can- 
 not make a prophet, — for the prophet, like the 
 
hi Christendom, 185 
 
 poet, is born^ — it is tlie very best place for him to 
 grow and develop. If it is not an abode of angels, 
 — for sucb is nowhere to 'be found in this nether 
 world, — it is a purer and holier association than 
 any under heayen. The yery fact that its defects 
 stand out in stronger reliefs than those of any 
 other institutions, proves the light shining therein 
 to be brighter and more searching. Poor theo- 
 logues, they stand in the greatest disadvantage 
 in their attitude toward this criticism-loving gen- 
 eration. The world expects from them what it 
 can expect only from angels; it throws stones at 
 them, while it is guilt3' of the very same sins it 
 condemns in them. Mammonism it openly and Po- 
 litical-Economicaily follows, it reviles in the min- 
 isters of Gospel. Let Christian ministers, mis- 
 sionaries, repent in ashes and sackclothes toward 
 their Almighty God and Savior; but toward men, 
 they as a class need not feel ashamed. We of the 
 King's household make so much of failings which 
 in the outsider's estimate are not worth a mo- 
 ment's reflection. Let not the commotion in Zion 
 be construed by them as similar in nature to bowl- 
 ings and gnashings of teeth in their own Mam- 
 mondom. 
 
 I left my seminary to retrace my steps toward 
 my homeland. 
 
186 Diary of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE NET IMPRESSIONS OF CHRISTENDOM.— 
 RETURN HOME. 
 
 Now that my disciplines in Christendom came 
 to end, my readers would like to know what I 
 think of it after all. Did I retain to the last the 
 impressions I received on my first landing upon 
 it? Is Christendom after all better than Hea- 
 thendom? Is Christianity worth introducing to 
 my country; or is there raison d'etre of Christian 
 mission? 
 
 First let me frankly -confess that I was not en- 
 tirely taken up by Christendom. Three-and-a- 
 half years' stay in it, with the best of hospitality 
 it gave me, and the closest of friendships I formed 
 in it, did not entirely naturalize me to it. I re- 
 mained a stranger throughout, and I never had 
 exerted myself to be otherwise. Not as Terra-del- 
 Fuegians in a civilized country yearn after their 
 former roamings over the foamy cliffs under the 
 Southern Cross, or as latinized Indians seek for 
 re-companionship with buffaloes in their native 
 prairies, but with aims higher and nobler I 3^earn- 
 ed after my homeland with "Home-Sweet-Home-^ 
 yearnings till the very last 'of my stay in Christen- 
 dom. Never have I entertained any wish what- 
 ever of becoming an American or an Englishman; 
 but I rather reckoned my heathen relationship 
 a special privilege of my own, and thanked God 
 once and again for having brought me out into 
 this world as a "heathen," and n'ot as a Christian. 
 
'Net Impnssions of Christendom. 187 
 
 For there are several advantages to be born a 
 heathen. Heathenism I consider as an undevel- 
 oped stage of humanity, developable into a high^ 
 and perfecter stage than that attained by any\ 
 form of Christianity. There are perennial hopes/ 
 in heathen nations still untouched by Christian-' 
 ity; hopes as of the youth venturing for life 
 grander than that of all his predecessors. And 
 though my nation is more than two thousand 
 years old in History, it is yet a child in Christ, and 
 all the hopes and possibilities of future lie 
 shrouded in its rapidly developing days. Thrice 
 thankful am I that I can witness many such days. 
 Then I could feel the power of the New Truth 
 more. What to the '^born Christians'' sounded 
 as time-worn commonplaces, were to me new rev- 
 elations, and called forth from me all the praises 
 sung perhaps by our first parents, when, 
 
 " 'neath a curtain of translucent dew, 
 Bathed in the rays of the great setting flame, 
 Hesperus, with the host of heaven, came. 
 And lo! creation widened in man's view." 
 
 In myself I could witness the changes and prog- 
 ress of the eighteen Christian centuries, and when 
 I came out of all my strifes, I found myself a sym- 
 pathetic man, acquainted as I was with all the 
 stages of spiritual development from idol-worship 
 up to soul's emancipation in the Crucified Son -of 
 God. Such visions and experiences are not 
 vouchsafed to all of G-od's children, and w^e who 
 are called in the eleventh hour haA^e at least this 
 privilege to make up for all the loss of having re- 
 mained in darkness so long. 
 
 In forming any right estimate of Christendom, 
 it is essential for us first of all to make a rigid 
 
188 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 distiiU'Hon between Christianity pure and simple, 
 and Christianity garnished and dogmatized by 
 its professors. I believe no sane man of this gen- 
 eration dare speak ill of Christianity itself. After 
 reading all the skeptic literature that had come 
 to my hand, I came to the conclusion that Jesus 
 of Nazareth remains untouched after all the fu- 
 rious attacks made upon those who are called by 
 His name. If Christianity is what I now believe 
 it to be, it is as firm and fixed as the Himalaya it- 
 self. He that attacks it does so to his own disad- 
 vantage. \Yho but fools dare rush at rocks? 
 Some indeed rush at what they imagine to be 
 Christianity, which in fact is no Christianity, but 
 superstructures over the same, built by some 
 faithless believers, who, thinking that the Rock 
 by itself cannot stand all the wear and tear of 
 Time, shed it over with shrines, cathedrals, 
 churches, doctrines, Thirty Nine Articles, and 
 other structures of combustible nature; and 
 some fools of this world, knowing that such are 
 combustible, set fire to them, and rejoice over 
 their conflagration, and think that the Rock itself 
 has also vanished in the flame. Behold the Rock 
 is there, "towering o'er the w^recks of Time." 
 
 But what is Christianity? Certainly it is not 
 the Bible itself, though much of it, and perhaps 
 the essence of it, is contained />2 it. Neither can 
 it be any set of Bogmas framed by men to meet 
 the exigencies of a time. Really we know more 
 of what it is not than what it is. 
 
 We Kay Christianity Is Tnjth, — Buljthat is de- 
 fining an undefinable by another undefinabTeT 
 "What is Truth?" is asked by the Roman Pilate 
 and other unveracions men. Truth, like Life, is 
 hardest, yea impossible, to be defined; and this 
 mechanical century has begun to doubt both be- 
 
"Net Impress ions of Christendom. 189 
 
 cause of their undefinability. Bichat, Trevi- 
 ranus, Beclard, Huxlev, Spencer, Haeckel, each 
 •has his own definition of Life; but all unsatisfac- 
 tory. ^'Organization in action/' says one; "the 
 sum total of the forces which resist death," says 
 another. But we know it is more. The true 
 knowledge of Life ocmes only by living it. Scal- 
 pel and Microscope show only the mechanism of 
 it. — So Truth. We come to know it only by keep- 
 ing it. Logic-<chopping, hair-splitting, and wire- 
 drawing only make it less true. Truth is there, 
 unmistakable, majestic; and we have but to go 
 there from ourselves, and not call it to us. The 
 very attempt to define Truth shows our own stu- 
 pidity, for what but the Infinite Universe can de- 
 fine or limit Truth? So we shall give up the defi- 
 nition of Truth, if for the mere purpose of hiding 
 our own stupidity. 
 
 So I came to see that the undefinability of 
 Christianity is not an evidence of its non-exist- 
 ence, much less of its humbugness. The very fact 
 that it grows more to me the more I conform my- 
 self to its teachings, shows its close relationship 
 with the Infinite Truth itself. I know it is not a 
 thing wholly unrelated to other religions. It is 
 one of "ten great religions," and we will not, like 
 some, depreciate all others to make it appear as 
 the only religion that is worth having. But to 
 me it is more, very much more, than any religion 
 that I am acquainted with. At least it is per- 
 fecter than the religion in which I was brought 
 up, and now after sifting all that has been lec- 
 tured upon "Comparative Keligion," I can yet 
 think of nothing perfecter than it. 
 
 "But no more panegyrics," you say. "Tell us 
 in what respect it is perfecter than your heathen- 
 ism," 
 
190 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 Heathenism, like mucli of what passes for 
 Christianity in Christendom, teaches morality, 
 and inculcates upon us the keeping of the same. 
 It shows us the way, and commands us to walk 
 therein. No more and no less. As for Jugger- 
 naut, infant-sacrifice, and so forth, let us elimi- 
 nate them from our account of heathenism, for 
 they are not it, as mamm'on-worship, and infant- 
 killing by other methods than that of throwing 
 them to gavials, and other horrors and supersti- 
 tions of Christendom are not Christianity. There- 
 in let us be fair and forgiving in judging others. 
 We will meet our enemy in his best and strongest. 
 
 I do not hesitate to say that Christianity does 
 the same ; i. e., shows us the way to walk in. In- 
 deed, it does so more clearly and unmistakably 
 than any other religion. In it there is no will-of- 
 the-wisp-ness of the guiding light that I often 
 meet with in other faiths. Indeed, one promi- 
 nent feature of Christianity is this sharpness of 
 distinction between Light and Darkness, Life and 
 Death. But let any fair judge compare the Ten 
 Commandments of Moses with those of Buddha, 
 and he will see at once that the difference is not 
 that of day from night. '^The Rectitude of Life" 
 as taught by Buddha, Confucius, and other 
 ^'heathen" teachers, is something, which if care- 
 fully studied by Christians, will make them 
 ashamed of their former self-satisfaction. Do 
 but make the Chinese and the Japanese keep the 
 commandments of their own Confucius, and you 
 make fairer Christendoms out of these two na- 
 tions than any you have in Europe or America. 
 The best of Christian converts has nevergiven up 
 the essence of Buddlii^nt-oi^f^otrfiTr-ianism. We 
 weliuwfte-ChiTslianity, because it heli)s us to be- 
 come more like our own ideals. Only zealots^ 
 
^et Impressions of Christendom, 191 
 
 ^'reyiyalists,'' pleasers of some show-loving mis- 
 sionaries, indulge in the auto-da-fe of the objects 
 of their former worship. "I came to fulfill, and 
 not to destroy," said the Founder of Christianity. 
 
 Christianity is more and higher than Heathen- 
 ism /« ///^/ /V makes tis keep the laiv. It is Hea- 
 thenism plus Life. By it alone the law-keeping 
 becomes a possibility. It is the Spirit of the Law. 
 It of all religions works from inside. It is what 
 Heathenism has been searching and groping after 
 with much wee^Hng. It not only shows us the 
 Good, but it makes us good by taking us right at 
 once to the Eternal Goodness Himself. It pro- 
 vides us not only with the Way, but with the Life 
 as well; with the Rail as well as with the Engine; 
 I am yet to be taught by "Comparative Religion'' 
 of some other religion that does likewise.* 
 
 With the "Philosophy of the Plan of Salvation" 
 let Philosophical Wisdom concern itself to its 
 heart's content. The fact of salvation is there, 
 and Philosophy or No-Philosophy cannot unmake 
 facts. The human experience has yet known of 
 no other name under heaven given among men, 
 whereby we must be saved. Of moral science we 
 have more than enough. That any Ph. D. can tell 
 us, if we but pay big fees to him. We know we 
 must not steal, without a doctor to teach us. But 
 oh not to steal, in the jnanifold and spiritual sense 
 
 * The Right Honorable William Ewart Gladstone's 
 definition of Christianity is this: 
 
 "Christianity in the established Christian sense, is 
 the presentation to us, not of abstract dogmas for ac- 
 ceptance, but of a living and a Divine Person, to whom 
 we are to be united by a vital incorporation. It is the 
 reunion to God of a nature severed from God by sin, and 
 the process is one, not of teaching lessons, but of impart- 
 ing a new life, with its ordained equipment of gifts and 
 powders." — From Criticism on "Robert Elsmere," 
 
192 Diary of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 of stealing! "Look at me, and be ye saved." "As 
 Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even 
 so must the Son of Man be lifted up; that who- 
 soever believeth in him should not perish, but 
 have eternal life." In this looking at Him is our 
 salvation, whatever be the philosophy of it. The 
 nineteen Christian centuries teach me so, and my 
 little soul too can testify (God be thanked) that 
 it is so. 
 
 This then is Christianity. It is at least so to 
 me. Deliverance from sin by the atoning grace of 
 the Son of God. It may be more, but it cannot be 
 less. This the essence of Christianity then; and 
 popes and bishops and reverends and 'other ad- 
 juncts, useful and otherwise, are no^ tlie necessary 
 parts of it. As such it is worth having above all 
 other things. No true man can get along without 
 it, and Peace cannot be his without it. 
 
 Webster defines Christendom as "that portion 
 of the world in wliich Christianity prevails, or 
 which is governed under Christian institutions, 
 in distinction from heathen or Mohammedan 
 lands." He does not say it is a land of perfected 
 angels. It is where Christianity prevails, or is 
 looked up to by the majority of the people as the 
 guide of their lives. Two elements. Belief and 
 Believers, determine the practical morality of any 
 nation. Fierce Saxons, piratical Scandinavians, 
 pleasure-loving French, trying to manage them- 
 selves in this world by the tenets of the Divine 
 Man of Nazareth,— that is what we witness in 
 Christendom. Lay no blame then upon Christi- 
 anity for ^/lei'r untowardness; but rather praise 
 it for its subduing power over tigers such as tbey. 
 
 What if these people had no Christianity? 
 What if no Pope Leos are with them to curb their 
 depredations, and turn them over to Justice and 
 
ISlet Impressions of Christendom. 193 
 
 Forgiveness? Buddhism and Confucianism will 
 be to them as Apollinaris' Water is to chronic 
 dyspepsia, — inertness, insipidity, the return of 
 animalism, eternal destruction. It is only by 
 the Church Militant arrayed against the huge 
 monstrosities of mammonism, rum-traffic, Louisi- 
 ana lottery, and other enormities, that Christen- 
 dom is kept from precipitating into immediate 
 ruin and death. A son of a Presbyterian minister, 
 by the name of Ro'bert Ingersoll, said that it 
 would be better fk)r his country to turn all of its 
 churches into theatres. He said so because he was 
 sure that his country would never follow his ad- 
 vice. Say whatever we may of the ''beastliness" 
 of Christendom ; does not its very disease testify 
 to the vitality oi the Life that keeps it alive? 
 
 Then observe this optic phenomenon of the 
 greatest darkness with the greatest light. The 
 shadow is the deeper, the brighter the light that 
 casts it. One characteristic of Truth is that it 
 makes the bad worse and the good better. It is 
 useless to ask why this is so. "For whosoever 
 hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have 
 more abundance: but w^hosoever hath not, from 
 him shall be taken away even that he hath;" — in 
 morals as in economics. The same sun that melts 
 wax hardens clay. If Christianity is light unto 
 all men, it is not to be wondered at that it de- 
 velops badness as well as goodness. We may 
 reasonably expect therefore the worst badness in 
 Christendom. 
 
 It is said that th^ state of New York with a 
 population of 5,000,000 produces more murderers 
 than Japan with 40,000,000 souls. General 
 Grant's observation in the latter country was that 
 the number and state of its poor were nothing 
 compared with what he saw in his own United 
 
194 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 States. London is proverbial for tlie magnitude 
 of its pauperism, and Christendom generally for 
 its gambling and drinking habits. Some of the 
 alcoholic liquors that can satisfy the appetite of 
 these people are strong enough to upset the heads 
 of our drunkards, if taken in any considerable 
 quantity. Scenes in those back streets of some 
 of the largest cities of Christendom, which no 
 decent men dare even to look into, can be de- 
 scribed with no milder words than the vilest in 
 any language. Shameless gamblings, open-day 
 piracies, co'ol-blooded sacrifice of fellowmen for 
 one's own aggrandizement, are being conducted 
 there on gigantic, business-like scales. You who 
 look with pity upon heathens, and glory in the 
 blessedness of your Christian civilization, read 
 with fair open eyes the following that came to 
 my ears from one of your own philanthropists: 
 
 In the suburb of the capital city of one of the 
 most Christian of Christian countries, lived in 
 silence an old couple, in apparent enjoyment of 
 the good things of this world. The cause of their 
 wellbeing remained a secret to themselves alone. 
 One thing peculiar, however. They had a stove 
 which to all outward appearances was altogether 
 too large for their cooking purpo.ses; and the 
 chimnoy-pipe smoked late in the stillness of night, 
 when no man eats, but all go to sleep. The quaint 
 little household called forth the attention of a 
 heroic woman of the city, who with her keen 
 womanly instinct combined a tact of the most 
 practical kind when in pursuit of the dark things 
 of the world. She investigated the case carefully, 
 quietly. Evidences upon evidences were secured, 
 and further skepticism became impossible. One 
 dark night, she v*'ith proper authorities breaks 
 into the house. The stove is the object of sus- 
 
'Net Impressions of Chrisitndom, 195 
 
 pi'cion. Thej open it, and wliat do jou think they 
 find in there? Embers of anthracites to cheer 
 the old age? Xo. The horror of horrors! Human- 
 looking things there I Supple babies being baked ! 
 The price of baking, two dollars a piece! En- 
 gaged in this business for twenty years unmo- 
 lested! and made quite a fortune out of it, too! 
 For what purpose this horror? To cover and 
 annihilate the shame that called the unlucky 
 babies into being! The city too full of illegiti- 
 macies; hence the prosperity of the old couple's 
 trade! And my narrator continued, ''I do not 
 wonder if some of these poor things owed their 
 
 advent to this world to " 
 
 (disgrace upon disgrace)! 
 
 Moloch-worship in Christendom as well! No 
 need of scouring through Indian mythologies to 
 create in one's imagination the horrors of Jugger- 
 naut. The heathen Ammonites sacrificed their 
 infants with distinct religious purposes; but 
 these night-hags, with no higher aim than those 
 "two dollars a piece." Assuredly you have 
 "heathens at vour door." "Christendom is a 
 beastly land." So report some of my countrymen 
 who have travelled abroad, and saw only its dark 
 half. True, they are unfair; but as far as the 
 said beastliness "^goes, the impressions they have 
 received are correct. Heathendom cannot com- 
 pete with Christendom in its beastliness as well. 
 But if Christendom's bad is so bad, how good 
 is its good! Seek through the length and breadth 
 of Heathendom, and see whether you can find one 
 John Howard to ornament its history of humanity. 
 Mv father, who, as I told you in my first chapter, 
 is*^a deep Confucian scholar, and whose admira- 
 tion for the ancients of China is very strong, has 
 told me once and again, that from what he knows 
 
lliG Diarij of a '/(ipdncse Convert, 
 
 of George Washington, Ya'o and Sliun, upon 
 wliom Confucius spent all his stock of eulogies, 
 were nothing compared with this liberator of 
 America; and I, with more knowledge of Wash- 
 ington than my father, can endorse his ''historic 
 criticism" in full. Such combinations of heroism 
 and tenderness of heart, of ability and disinterest- 
 edness of purpose, of common-sense and en- 
 thusiasm in his religious conviction, as were those 
 of Oliver Cromwell, cannot be imagined of ex- 
 istence under non-Christian dispensation. We 
 have heard of our magnates hoarding millions, and 
 spending them upon temples, or feeding the poor 
 for their own ''future's sake;" but a George Pea- 
 body or a Stephen Girard, who "hoarded for the 
 sake of giving, and took delight in giving, is not 
 a phenomenon observable among heathens. And 
 not these select few only, but widely distributed 
 throughout Christendom, though necessarily hid- 
 den from view, are to be found w^hat might be 
 specially named good men, — souls who love good- 
 ness for its own sake, and are bent toward doing 
 good, as mankind in general is bent toward doing 
 evil. How these souls, charily keeping themselves 
 from the view of the public, are striving to make 
 this world any bit better by their efforts and 
 prayers; how they often shed tears for the 
 wretchedness of the state of the people of whom 
 they read only in newspapers; how they lay upon 
 their liearts the welfare of the whole mankind; 
 and how willing they are to take part in the 
 work of ameliorating human misery and igno- 
 rance; — these I saw and witnessed with my own 
 eyes, and can testify to the genuine spirit that 
 underlies them all. These silent men are they, 
 who in their country's peril are the first to lay 
 down their lives in its service; who, when told of 
 
Net Impressions of Christendom, 107 
 
 a new mission enterprise in a lieafhen land, will 
 deliver tlieir railroad fares to the missionary wlio 
 undertakes it, and return home tramping on their 
 own feet, and praise God for their having done so; 
 who in their big tearful hearts, understand all 
 the mysteries of Divine Mercy, and hence are 
 merciful toward all around Ihenu. .]^^o fierceness 
 and blind zeal with these men, but gentlen^»,^d 
 cool calculation in doing good. Indeed, I can sa> 
 with all truthfulness that I saw good moi only 
 in Christendom. Brave men, honest men, righte- 
 ous/men are not wanting in Heathendom, but I 
 doiibt whether good men^ — by that I mean those 
 men summed up in that one English word which ' 
 haWio equivalent in any other language: 
 w«^,j^-jdQubt whether such is possible^ 
 'the religion of Jesus Christ to mould us. ''The 
 Christian, God Almighty's gentleTnan,^^ — he-i^s a 
 unique figure in this world, undescribably beauti- 
 ful, noble, and lovable. 
 
 And not only are there such good men in Chris- 
 tendom, but their_^?w£r_ over bad men is im- 
 mense, considering the comparative scarcity of 
 good men even in Christendom. This is another 
 feature of Christendom, that goodness is more 
 possible and more powerful there than in Hea- 
 thendom. One Lloyd Garrison "friendless and un- 
 seen," and the freedom of a race began with him. 
 One John B. Gough, and the huge intemperance 
 begins to totter. Minority does not mean defeat 
 with these people, though their Constitution 
 seems to imply that effect. They are sure of their 
 righteous cause, and soire of the national con- 
 science, they feel sure to win the nation over to 
 them. Klch men they fear and honor and admire, 
 but good men, more. They are more proud of the 
 goodness of Washington than of his bravery; of 
 
198 Diary of a Japanese Convert 
 
 Phillips Brooks than of Jay Gould. (Indeed, very 
 many of them are really ashamed of the latter.) 
 Righteousness with them is a power; and an 
 ounce of righteousness goes against a pound of 
 wealth, and often outweighs it. 
 
 Tlien their national conscience^ — .by that I mean 
 the sum total of the people's conscience as a na- 
 tion, — ^how infinitely higher and purer than their 
 average conscience! What as individuals they 
 freely indulge in, they as a nation strongly pro- 
 test against. I have heard it stated that many 
 a blasphemer died a Christian death on the bat- 
 tlefields of the late Civil War in America; and 
 I do not doubt the statement. The battle w^as 
 one of principles, and not of honor and filthy lucre. 
 They marched with a Christian aim in view : the 
 liberation of an inferior race. Never in History 
 has a nation gone into war with such an altruis- 
 tic end in view. None but a Christian nation can 
 go to such a war. Yet all were not Christians who 
 went to this war. — Observe, too, how scrupulous 
 these people are about the moral perfection of the 
 men whom they choose as their Presidents. The 
 men must not merely be able men, but moral men 
 as well. No Richelieus or Mazarins can be their 
 Presidents. Woe to that poor candidate, who in 
 other respects is the fittest to rule; but a stain 
 or two that mar his charaicter has made him a 
 failure. Morality does not usually count with 
 statesmanship in Heathendom. — Why do they pur- 
 sue the Mormons with so much rigor? Are not 
 concubinage and polygamy of an '^occult kind" 
 actually practiced among these people? A 
 strange inconsistency, you say. Strange, but to 
 be admired. As a nation they cannot allow poly- 
 gamy. Let those who practice it, do it secretly. 
 The national conscience is not yet sharp enoug'h 
 
TVe/ Impressions of Christendom. 199 
 
 to look after secrecies of this sort. But polygamy 
 as an institution, under the sufferance and pro- 
 tection of the nation's laws, that neither Chris- 
 tians nor infidels will wink at. The Mormons 
 must submit; else Utah shall not add one more 
 star to the banner already spangled with so many 
 bright and honorable stars. 
 
 The same national conscience that fosters all 
 noble and worthy sentiments, keeps at bay all that 
 are ignoble and unworthy. Broad daylight is 
 denied to hags of all kinds. Such must put on 
 garments of rig-hteousness when they appear 
 among the people; else they will be ''lynched" by 
 the very hags like themselves, and handed over 
 to Oblivion and his angels. Mammon walks by 
 the ^a-ws of righteousness. Honesty is believed 
 to be the best policy, in politics as well as in other 
 money-getting business. A man kisses his wife 
 in society, whom he beats in his home. Gambling- 
 houses go bv the name of 'billiard rooms, and even 
 the fallen angels by the title of ''ladies." Saloons 
 are all screened from outside views, and men 
 drink in darkness, in evident shame of their evil 
 habit. All very productive of tne hypocrisies of 
 the worst sort,' you say. But does Virtue mean 
 the licence of evils? I think not. 
 
 So then, this differencing of good from evil, of 
 sky-loving larks from cave-dwelling bats, of sheep 
 on the right hand from goats on the left, — this I 
 consider to be a Christian state, the foretaste of 
 that into which we are all going, the complete 
 separation of the good from the bad. Th is Earth j_ 
 though b ^ a^^^-i^"!; ^^^^ ^»^ nriginnlly uT^nt ns nn 
 angel-land. It w;as meant as a schooLio. prepare., 
 ^msTor some other places^. This edu^-<itional xxilue, 
 : — of the Earth must not be lost sight of in our poor 
 attempts to make it what it should be. Utilitari- 
 
200 Dkirji of a Japanese Convert. 
 
 anism, Sentimental Christianity, and other shal- 
 low things, that, like the ancient Greeks, think 
 this world to be gods' home, will stumble at Crom- 
 wells and other no-sweet prophets, because they 
 cannot make all happy. In too many cases, ''the 
 greatest happiness to the greatest number" means 
 just the reverse of a righteous and just govern- 
 ment. I suppose nowhere under heaven are more 
 ''universal satisfactions" found than in African 
 jungles upon the Congo or the Zambesi. That 
 state is the best in wliich the best discipline of 
 soul is possible, and hence the original aim of the 
 creation of this Earth is best realized. When 
 this is done, we all may quit this earth, and go, 
 some of us to eternal bliss, and others to eternal 
 no-bliss, and the Earth itself to its original ele- 
 ments, as a thing that has finished its business. 
 
 One more feature of Christendom before I cease 
 to speak good things about it. There is one doc- 
 trine in Christianity upon which the recent Bio- 
 logy makes many after-dinner speeches; — I mean 
 Resurrection. Let Renan and his disciples make 
 whatever they please out of this doctrine; but 
 the practical significance of this unique doctrine 
 cannot be overlooked by "historical schools" of 
 any turn of mind. Why is it that heathens in 
 general go into decay so soon, but Christians in 
 general know no decay whatever, but hope even in 
 Death itself? Octogenarians still scheming for 
 future as if they were still in twenties are objects 
 of almost miraculous wonders with us heathens. 
 We count men above forty among the old age, 
 while in Christendom no man below fifty is con- 
 sidered to be fit for a position of any great re- 
 sponsibility. We think of rest and retirement as 
 soon as our children come to age; and backed 
 by the teaching of filial piety, we are entitled to 
 
Xet Impressions of Christendom. 201 
 
 lazv idleness, to be eared and caressed by the 
 young generation. Judson, a missionary, after 
 hardships of his life-time, exclaims he wants to 
 live and work more, as he has eternity to rest. 
 Victor Hugo in his eighty-four can say: ''I im- 
 prove every hour because I love this world as my 
 fatherland. My work is only beginning. My 
 monument is hardly above its foundation. 1 
 would be glad to see it mounting and mounting 
 forever." Compare these with a Chinese poet 
 Tao-Yuen-Ming who sought the solace of his old 
 age in cups of liquor, or many of my own country- 
 men excusing themselves from the busy world as 
 soon as grayness appears upon their heads. The 
 godless physiology attributes all this to difference 
 in diet, climate, and so forth; but the ver. fact 
 that we too with our rice and monsoon can be 
 other than what we used to be, calls for some 
 other explanation than physiological. 
 
 I attribute the progressiveness of Christendom 
 to its Christianity. Faith, Hope, and Charity, the 
 three Life-angels that defy and shun Death and 
 his angels, have worked upon it for the past nine- 
 teen hundred years, and have made it as we have 
 it now. 
 
 "Life mocks the idle hate 
 Of his arch-enemy Death, — yea sits himself 
 Upon the tyrant's throne, the sepulchre, 
 And of the triumphs of his ghostly foe 
 Makes his own nourishment." — Bryant. 
 
 Enormous yet though their sins are, these people 
 have the power to overcome them. They have yet 
 no sorrows which they think they cannot heal. Is 
 not Christianity worth having if but for this 
 power alone? 
 
202 Diarjj of a Japanese Convert 
 
 The raison d' ctre of Christian mission? 1 
 think I have stated it already. It is the raison 
 d' etre of Christianity itself. Said David Livinj;- 
 stone: ''The spirit of missions is the spirit of our 
 Master; the very genius of His religion. A diffu- 
 sive philanthropy is Christianity itself. It re- 
 quires perpetual propagation to attest its genuine- 
 ness." Once it ceases to propagate, it ceases to 
 live. Have you ever thought why it is that God 
 leaves so large a part of the human race still in 
 the darkness of heathenism? I think it is that 
 your Christianity may live and grow by your ef- 
 forts to diminish the darkness. One hundred and 
 thirty-four millions of heathens yet! Thank God, 
 there are still so many, for w^e need not like Alex- 
 ander weep for the lack of the world to be con- 
 quered. Suppose God tells you to stay at home, 
 and keep your purse-strings tight, and your hearts 
 closed toward heathens. Think you you will thank 
 Him for relieving you from useless obligations? 
 If Christian mission is an obligation to you, for 
 wliich you must have God's further blessings to 
 reward you, and heathens' gratitude to keep your 
 hearts warm, I believe you better cease to take 
 any part in it, as neither God nor heathens get 
 any good from you. "Woe is me if I preach not the 
 Gospel." That was Apostle Paul. I believe, to 
 him the greatest trial was not to be a missionary. 
 With an expansive life in him, could he refrain 
 himself from expanding into universal charity, 
 which is Christian mission. I believe we better 
 confess rig'ht honestly -that we have no Chris- 
 tianity to speak of, than to grumble at ''the diffi- 
 culties of the station," "the insolence of heathens," 
 and other cowardly things. 
 
 But why send missionaries to heathens when 
 you have heathens enough in your own land? 
 
UNIVERSITY \ 
 
 Net Impressions of Christendom. 203 
 
 You know this world is a unit, and the human 
 race is one great family. This is what I read in my 
 Christian Bible, though Patriotisms, Christian 
 and otherwise, seem to deny this. You cannot 
 make yourself perfect without making others per- 
 fect. An idea of a perfect Christendom in the 
 midst of encircling heathenism is impossible. In 
 Christianizing other peoples, you Christianize 
 yourself. This is a philosophy abundantly illus- 
 trated by actual experiences. 
 
 Suppose you stop your foreign mission, and 
 concentrate your whole energy upon home mis- 
 sion. What will you have? Many more striking 
 conversions, many more homes freed from the 
 curses of whisky, many more children decently 
 clothed, no doubt. But 'withal what? Many more 
 heresy-huntings, many more denominational back- 
 bitings, with perhaps more Sunday-school excur- 
 sions, and '^Japanese marriages" in churches. I 
 think you who have had Christianity now over 
 eighteen hundred years have got over by this 
 time that foolish and heathenish notion, that good 
 done in one direction diminishes good to be done in 
 others — Growth outside always means growth in- 
 side. You are troubled with some intestine 
 lethargy. You go to your physician, and he medi- 
 cates upon you nostrum after nostrum. But noth- 
 ing heals you, and you begin to lose faith in your 
 doctor. Finally you come to the true knowledge 
 of your trouble. You turn your attention from 
 inside; that is, you forget yourself, and go to 
 some outside work, cultivation of cabbages, it may 
 be. Then you begin to breathe freely, your bicep- 
 muscles get bigger and firmer. Gradually you 
 feel your trouble is gone, and you are now a 
 stronger man than before. You healed yourself 
 
204 Diary of a Japanese Cofiivert, 
 
 by reflex influeuces. You gave yourself upon cab- 
 bages, and cabbages healed you. 
 
 So with churches. Pruning with heresy-hunt- 
 ings, and medicating with New Theologies may 
 never heal them. Nay, they may grow even worse. 
 Now some wise men prescribe foreign missions 
 to them. They take part in it, and they soon get 
 interested in it. They have taken the whole 
 world into their sympathy, and they feel them- 
 selves expanding by having done so. The new 
 sympathy thus engendered calls up the old sym- 
 pathy that has gone to sleep by heresy-trials and 
 New Theology medicatings What they failed to 
 revive within them by spending themselves upon 
 themselves, they now see returning to them by 
 spending themselves upon other than themselves. 
 You converted heathens, and heathens now re- 
 convert you. Such is humanity, so intimately are 
 you connected with the whole race. Pity the 
 heathen? Do you pity your own brother in 
 w^retchedness? Are you not ashamed of him, and 
 blame yourself for his wretched state? I believe 
 this is the true philosophy of Christian mission; 
 and missions started on any other basis than this 
 are shows, plays, things to be criticized by their 
 enemies, and disregarded by the very heathens to 
 whom they are sent. 
 
 But you ask: Do you heathens like to have 
 Christianity? 
 
 Yes, we sensible heathens do; and the insensi- 
 ble among us, though they throw stones at mis- 
 sionaries, and do other mischievous things upon 
 them, as soon as they resume their sensibility, 
 will see that they did wrong. Of course, we do 
 not like many things that come under the name 
 of Christianity. Hoj^ts, surplices, compulsory 
 prayer-books, theologies, unless they are absolute- 
 
Net Impressions of Christendom, 205 
 
 Iv necessary to convey Christianity itself to us in / 
 our present state of 'mental deyelopment, we do ^ 
 desire to be spared from. We also like to haye 
 no Americanianity and Anglicanianity imposed 
 upon us as Christianity. I hope none of us ^ver 
 ^rew stones at Christ Him^self. If we did, we 
 stoned at the Almighty Throne itself, and we 
 shall haye the Truth itself to condemn us. But 
 chide us not for throwing stones at missionaries 
 who in the name of Christ teach us their own 
 yiews, — theologies they call them, — and also their 
 own manners and customs, such as "free mar- 
 riages/' "woman's rights," and others, all more 
 or less objectionable to us. We do this for self- 
 preseryation. You who tolerate Catholicism, but 
 not Roma?i Catholicism, who fling your pulpit ad- 
 dresses and newspaper editorials right at the 
 faces of Piuses and Leos for their interference in 
 your school and other public affairs, sympathize 
 with us in our protest against Americanism, 
 Anglicanism, and other foreign isms. 
 
 Then, when you come to us, come with strong 
 common sense. Do not belieye the words of those 
 mission-circus men who tell you that a nation can 
 be converted in a day. There is no spiritual El 
 Dorado to be found upon this earth. Nowhere 
 can souls be converted by dozens and hundreds. 
 The same matter-of-fact world here as there. Men 
 do doubt, simulate, stumble, here as elsewhere. 
 I know some missionaries who preach to us as if 
 we were their own countrymen. They seem to 
 think that the method of Moody and Sankey that 
 goes so successfully with Americans and English- 
 men, should succeed equally well with Japanese 
 and Chinese. But Japanese and Chinese are not 
 Americans, as you well know. They had not their 
 childhood mothered with "Lord is my shepherd," 
 
20G Diari/ of a Japanese Convert, 
 
 "Now I lay me down to sleep," and other angelic 
 melodies. ^ They take as mucli delight in gong- 
 bells as in Esley pipe-organs. They are "hea- 
 thens," and you must teach them accordingly. But 
 some preach Jesus Christ to them, give them a 
 copy of New Testament, persuade them to be 
 baptized, get their names enrolled in church-mem- 
 bership, and so have them reported to home- 
 churches, and think that they are safe, and will 
 go to heaven somehow. Perhaps they may, per- 
 haps they may not. Hereditary influences, mental 
 idiosyncracies, social environments, to say noth- 
 ing of the same old Adamic propensity to sin in 
 them, are not so readily conformable to the new 
 and strange doctrines that are preached to them. 
 Though we despise godless science, yet scienceless 
 evangelization we do not put much value upon. 
 I believe faith is wholly compatible with common- 
 sense, and all zealous and successful missionaries 
 have had this sense in abundance. 
 
 Come to us also, after fighting out Devils in 
 your own souls. You know John Bunyan speaks 
 of a reverend gentleman who had but very little 
 experience with Devils. As he was not able to 
 cure Bunyan's soul, so such as he cannot cure us 
 heathens. "Born Christians," who have only 
 heard of conversions, as "reports from a distance," 
 cannot help us much in our death-struggles from 
 Darkness to Light. I know a Quaker professor in 
 America, who, when I told him of the doubts and 
 difficulties that I had to overcome in my struggles 
 Christward, said that he "could not very well see 
 how that could have been, seeing that Christianity 
 was so simple a thing as was contained in one 
 monosyllable L-O-V-E." Only a monosyllable, 
 but the Universe itself cannot contain it! An 
 enviable man he. His ancestors had fought out 
 
"Net Impressions of Christendom. 207 
 
 the battles for him. He 'came into this world un- 
 conscious of struggles, a ready-made Christian. 
 Like as a millionaire's son cannot comprehend the 
 miseries and strifes of a self-made man, so this 
 professor and many like him in Christendom can- 
 not comprehend what we heathens have to fight 
 out in our souls before we get settled in peace in 
 that monosyllable. I adyise such as he to stay at 
 home as professors, and not come to us as mis- 
 sionaries, for our complexities and sinuosities 
 may confound them, as their simplicities and 
 straight-cuttedness confound us. Indeed, those of 
 us who haye had some earnest experiences with 
 Christianity;, haye found it not an altogether easy- 
 going, home-sweet-home, and peace-unto-all-men 
 affair. We haye found it somewhat like poet 
 Bryant's Freedom, 
 
 "A bearded man. 
 Armed to the teeth, art thou; one mailed hand 
 Grasps the broad shield, and one the sword; thy 
 brow 
 Glorious in beauty though it be, is scarred 
 With tokens of old wars; thy massiye limbs 
 Are strong with struggling." 
 
 We can appreciate "Pilgrim's Progress," but as 
 for that happy, happy, honey-moon style religion, 
 we know not what it is, but that it is not the 
 Christianity of the Crucified One. Heathenism 
 first subdued in your own soul ; then you can sub- 
 due it right successfully in us. 
 
 With your Christianity sifted from your own 
 isms, and your common-sense well sharpened (if 
 not sharp already), and best of all, with Devils 
 fought out in your own souls, I see no reason why 
 you should fail to do immense good to heathens. 
 
208 Dianj of n Japanese Convert. 
 
 Heathendom has had such missionaries (God be 
 thanked,) and it is crying for more. We soon take 
 no thought of them that they are strangers. Even 
 their very kick of our language is no barrier be- 
 tween them and us. Christianity is in their very 
 eyes. We feel it in their grasp of our hands. O 
 how they shine among us! Their very presence 
 dispels darkness. They need not preach unto us. 
 We will preach for them; only let them hold us 
 from behind. Rather one such than dozens and 
 hundreds of missionary adventurers and experi- 
 menters. ''The work which an Archangel may 
 envy, — the work of preaching Christ to the hea- 
 then." Who but an archangel himself can engage 
 in this enviable work? 
 
 Yes, Christianity we do need. We need it not 
 so much to demolish our idols of wood and stone. 
 Those are innocent things compared with other 
 idols worshiped in Heathendom and elsewhere. 
 We need it to make our bad appear worse, and 
 our good appear better. It only can convince us 
 of sin; and convincing us of it, can help us to rise 
 above it, and conquer it. Heathenism I always 
 consider as a tepid state of human existence; — 
 it is neither very warm nor ve7y cold. A lethargic 
 life is a weak life. It feels pain less; hence re- 
 joices less. £>e profundis is not of heathenism. 
 We need Christianity to intensify us; to swear 
 fealty to our God, and enmity toward Devils. Not 
 a butterfly-life, but an eagle-life; not the dimuni- 
 tive perfection of a pink-rose, but the sturdy 
 strength •f an oak. Heathenism will do for our 
 childhood, but Christianity alone for manhood. 
 The world is growing, and we with the world. 
 Christianity is getting to be a necessity with all 
 of us. 
 
 For fifty days I was upon the sea on my way 
 
^et Impressions of Christendom. 209 
 
 home. I sailed under the Southern Cross, saw the 
 True Cross stand, and the False Cross fall. But 
 think you not I was happy to see my dear ones 
 so soon? Yes, happy in the sense that a soldier 
 is happy, who dreams of conquests after encounter 
 with his enemies. I was found by Him, and He 
 girded me, and intimated to me that He would 
 carry me whither I would not. Battles He as- 
 signed me in my own small sphere, and I was not 
 to answer Nay. Alas I sought Him with much 
 fightings. I found Him, and He ordered me at 
 once to His battlefield! This the lot of one born 
 in a soldier-family. Let me not murmur, but feel 
 thankful. 
 
 May 16, Noon. — Clear, hazy in afternoon. — 
 Came to the sight of my land about 10 A. M. 
 Run 282 miles since yesterday noon. 63 miles 
 more, and home.— Read 32nd chapter of Gene- 
 sis. Much consoled by the thought that I am 
 not worthy of the least of all the mercies 
 which God hath shewed unto me during these 
 years of my exile. His grace fills up all the 
 vacancies left by the sad experiences of life. 
 I know my life hath been guided by Him, and 
 though I go with much fear and trembling to 
 my homeland, I fear no evil, for He will still 
 manifest more of Himself unto me. 
 
 Midnight. Reached home 9 :30 P. M. Thank 
 God I am here at last after travelling some 
 20,000 miles. The joy of the whole family 
 knew no bounds. Perhaps it was the happiest 
 
210 Diarij of a Japanese Convert 
 
 time my poor parents ever have had. Brother 
 and sister grown big, the former an active 
 little fellow, and the latter a quite nice girl. 
 Talked with father all night. Mother doesn't 
 care to learn about the world; she is only glad 
 that her son is safely at home. I thank God 
 for keeping my family all these years of my 
 absence from them. My prayer has been to 
 see my father in safety to tell Him all that I 
 have seen and experienced. 
 
 "And Jacob said, O God of my father Abraham, 
 and God of my father Isaac, the Lord which saidst 
 unto me, Return unto thy country, and to thy 
 kindred, and I will deal well with thee. I am not 
 worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all 
 the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy ser- 
 vant; for with one staff I passed over the Jordan; 
 and now I am become two bands." (Gen. XXXII, 
 9, 10.) This the state of one wliom the Lord liketh 
 to honor. Jacob had in Haran all that he had 
 sought after and prayed for: Leah and Rachel, 
 children, sheep. I too, a poor servant of His, had 
 in Christendom all that I had sought after and 
 prayed for. Not indeed the kind with wliich Jacob 
 was blessed. Indeed, so strait was my condition 
 in this respect that I had only 75 cents left in my 
 pocket after my roamings over 20,000 miles of land 
 and sea. My meutal capital too, which I carried 
 home was inconsiderable compared with that 
 which is usually brought back by my countrymen 
 of my own aj^je and circumstance. Science, Medi- 
 oine, IMiilosopliy, Divinity, — not a sheepskin of 
 this kind had 1 in my trunk to please my parents 
 
Xet Impressions of Chrisitndom, 211 
 
 as my present to them. Bu-t I had what I wished 
 to have, even , "unto the Jews a stumbling- 
 block, and unto the Greeks foolishness." True, 
 I did not find it in Christendom in the way I had 
 expected; i. e. I had not picked it up in streets, 
 or even in churches or in theological seminaries; 
 but in ways various and contrarious, I had it 
 nevertheless, and I was satisfied. This then my 
 present to my parents and countrymen, whether 
 they like it or not. This the Hope of human souls, 
 this the Life of nations. Xo philosophy or divinity 
 can take //'i- place in the history of mankind. "I 
 am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ; for it is 
 the power of God unto salvation to every one 
 that believeth, to the Jew first, and also to the 
 Greek." 
 
 I reached my home late in evening. There upon 
 a hill, enclosed by Cryptomeria hedge, stood my 
 paternal cottage. "Mamma," I cried as I opened 
 the gate, "your son is back again." Her lean 
 form, with many more marks of toil upon it, how 
 beautiful ! The ideal beauty that I failed to recog- 
 nize in the choices of my Delaware friend, I found 
 again in the sacred form of my mother. And my 
 father, the owner of a twelfth part of an acre upon 
 this spacious globe, — ^he is a right herwtoo, a just 
 and patient man. Here is a spot then ^-"hich I may 
 call my own, and by which I am chained to this 
 Land and Earth. Here my Home and my Battle- 
 field as well, the soil that shall have my service, 
 my prayers, my life, free. 
 
 The day after my arrival at home, I received 
 an invitation to the principal ship of a Christian 
 college said to have been started by heathens. A 
 singular institution this, unique in the history of 
 the world. Shall I accept it? 
 
 But here this book must close. I have told you 
 
212 
 
 Diary of a Japdncse Convert. 
 
 how I became a convert to Christianity. Should 
 my life prove eventful enough, and my readers 
 not tired of my ways of tellinjr. I have in mind 
 another book of later experiences. 
 
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