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 ADVE:NrTURES 
 
 OF 
 
 AN ATTORNEY 
 
 IN 
 
 SEARCH OF PRACTICE 
 
 By SAMUEL WARREN, 
 
 AUTHOR OF "DIARY OF A PHYSICIAN," "LA.V STUDIES," ETC., ETC. 
 
 " Est enim haec, judices, non scripta sod nata l-x : quam non didici- 
 mus, accepimus, leginius; veriiru ex natura ipsa arripuimus, hausiinus. 
 eipre.«simu.'i; ad (luam non docti, sed facti : non institwti, sed irabnti 
 Bumus." — Cic. 
 
 
 
 CHICAGO : 
 
 JAMES COCKCROFT & COMPANY. 
 
 1872. 
 
 ^ *> • * *9 
 
 • J O J » o 
 
 3 i > i 1 i ) 
 
 » 3 > J >
 
 K 
 
 
 
 ADVENTURES, &c. 
 
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 ^ CHAPTER I. 
 
 •' Quos clientes nemo habere velit.'' — Cic. 
 
 There is something vastly agreeable in tli( 
 first day of a professional life ; clerkship, servi- 
 tude, and drudgery are all at an end; one no 
 longer asks the hour, with sore consciousness 
 of being too late for office, or dire misgivings 
 
 V^ of having being inquired for; and racking 
 one's wits in vain for some new excuse, not yet 
 exhausted, of " gone to the Temple," " examin- 
 ing an abstract," or " serving a notice ! " I 
 
 \a was in such a desperate hurry to begin, that 
 though I had not a client nor the dream of one, 
 
 and was filled with lofty ambition to do the 
 ^ thing well, and start with all the magnificence 
 of a house, I had not patience to wait till I 
 
 428059
 
 2 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 could find one, but engaged a first floor over a 
 Bliop, bought a desk and half-a-dozen chairs 
 second-DP.nd, incarccratad the first strav lad I 
 could catch, in a, dark cell c^ight feet by six, 
 tied up Did precedent.^ with new tape, and then 
 painted my name gorgeously on the door posts 
 with all the dignity of " Mr. Sharpe, Solicitor," 
 at full length. 
 
 Such was my self-complacency at the inde- 
 pendence of my novel position, that I believe I 
 rung my hand-bell for my clerk half a score of 
 times in the course of an hour, merely for the 
 pleasure of having it answered; though there 
 was charity in the act, for without this stimulus 
 to attention, he would inevitably have gone to 
 sleep for lack of better employment. " Well," 
 I thought to myself, " here I am at last, and 
 there's an end to Blackstone and Tidd, and 
 Barton's Precedents, and all tha.t for the pres- 
 ent; and as to leases, and settlements, and 
 wills, they are bad enough to be sure, in any 
 view of the case, but at all events I shall draw 
 them to pay myself, and that is something." 
 And thus comforting myself for the plague of 
 prospective labor, I eyed the grave red-lettered 
 calf-skin, resumed the newspaper, read every
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. '6 
 
 advertisement, and finally gaped out of the 
 window in vain speculation of finding a client 
 in some passer bj. 
 
 How long this interesting state of indolent 
 expectation might have continued, had I waited 
 for clients to come to me, I cannot say, but 
 after a week or two I began to find it as ennuy- 
 ant as it was profitless, and resolved, as nobody 
 seemed willing to find me out, to try my luck 
 in finding out them. It was very clear that my 
 extraordinary merits were still unknown, and an 
 attorney, though he ought certainly to " blush 
 unseen," if he blushes at all, cannot by any 
 means afibrd to waste his sweetness on the desert 
 air. Hence I changed my plan ; left word with 
 my clerk that if any body called I was " gone 
 to the Temple," and sallied forth on a Paul Pry 
 expedition among all my friends and acquaint- 
 ances; but I verily believe that the demon of 
 ill-luck, if there is such a deity in heathen 
 mythology, presided over my first essays. ISTot 
 a. Boul had called on me for three weeks, except 
 two or three idle lads to see " how I got on," 
 when, while engaged on one of my marauding 
 expeditions, a certain noble lord of very large 
 property, hitherto unprovided with a solicitor,
 
 4 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOUNEY 
 
 and to whom I had been favorably mentioned 
 by a common relative, drove up to my door, and 
 called to instruct me to file an information 
 against the trustees of an important charity. 
 " Gone to the Temple " was as unintelligible to 
 his noble ears as if my clerk had reported me 
 "gone to the devil;" perhaps, in his opinion 
 the expressions were synonymous, as in truth, I 
 have often considered them myself: however 
 this may be, I never saw any more of his lord- 
 ship, or heard another syllable of his instruc- 
 tions, (except that another solicitor had filed the 
 information,) though on three successive morn- 
 ings I left my card at his mansion in Grosvenor 
 Square; at no cost of time, for I had nothing 
 else to do, but at an immense expense of coach- 
 hire, omnibuses not then being in fashion. It 
 is all for the best : I have since seen and heard 
 much of his lordship ; he is a worthy man, but 
 his notions, however becoming his high rank, 
 would never have agreed with my temper at 
 that early time of day; and had we quarrelled, 
 I should have lost clients in his connexion that 
 I have still retained, and value far more highly. 
 This was a bad beginning, but I made the 
 best of it, as has been my rule through life ; a
 
 IN SEARCU OF PRACTICE. 5 
 
 Wealthy client of noble rank is a prize to any 
 man, but to a beginner at the age of four-and- 
 twentv, the loss of him is a serious aftair ; so I 
 complained to my friends of my bad fortune, 
 wondered how anybody, noble or plebeian, 
 could be so unreasonable as to expect to find a 
 man of business always at home without mak- 
 ing an appointment, and a few days after was 
 solaced by a call from a gentleman that 1 had 
 long knoAvn, who wished for my advice on a 
 case where he clearly had not a leg to stand on ; 
 and so I told him. 
 
 *' But must I lose the money, Sharpe ? " 
 
 "I am afraid so." 
 
 " Then vou think there is nothino; in it? " 
 
 " I won't go so far as that, but I think you 
 are wrong." 
 
 " Umph ! a pretty joke to let this villain rob 
 rae in this way ! I thought you would get me 
 out of it; but vou sav vou are not certain. I 
 should like to ask Mr. Scarlett." 
 
 Lord Abinger at that time ruled the day. I 
 suggested the opinion of a junior counsel, as 
 more easily attainable, and the opinion was 
 taken. It confirmed mine,- but my client was 
 still dissatisfied ; he went to another attorney,
 
 6 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 who brought the action, and succeeding by 
 Scarlett's aid, against law and reason, swamped 
 my credit; for though the plaintiff has been my 
 friend, and a kind one too, for more than 
 twenty years, he has never again been my client 
 from that day to this. I met him a few days 
 after the trial, and our conversation was rather 
 amusing. 
 
 " Well, "Wright, you have gained the day ! " 
 " Yes, to be sure : but little thanks to you." 
 "I admit it; for I still think you were all 
 wrong." 
 
 " Ay; but wiser folks thought me all right." 
 " Scarlett never thought so, whatever the jury 
 might." 
 
 "But Scarlett did think eo, and said so." 
 " Oh yes ! he told the jury so of course, and 
 they were fools enough to believe him ; but did 
 he tell you so, at your consultation ? " 
 
 " He said nothing at the consultation ! he 
 never once asked me to sit down ; but he 
 cocked his eye at the attorney, nodded to the 
 other counsel, poked the fire, and I saw at once 
 it was all right. I paid two guineas or more 
 for that cock of the eye ; but it don't matter for 
 that, so long as that rascal can't rob me ai^l
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 7 
 
 lauo-h at me to boot: and lie would have done 
 both, had I followed your advice." 
 
 ""Well, don't cry till you are out of the 
 wood; he'll move for a new trial, and will get 
 it, take my word for it ; and then Scarlett him- 
 self will tell you who is right." 
 
 My friend made a wry face at this prediction, 
 and had his opponent then chanced to meet 
 with him, and taken him between wind and 
 water, he would gladly have drawn stakes ; but 
 as my ill-luck would have it, I was again out, 
 for a new trial was not moved for, my friend 
 recovered damages and costs, and has ever since 
 voted me a fool, and himself the very cleverest 
 biped in creation : yet the case was as clear as 
 the daylight. I earned, by this matter, £2. 14s. 
 ad., and lost my cHent and my legal repute into 
 the bargain 
 
 Weeks and even months rolled on, and my 
 neat new floorcloth was still scarcely soiled by 
 a trace of rich city mud, my desk was yet un- 
 stained by ink, my red tape retained its virgin 
 bloom, my papers had not gathered an ounce 
 of " blacks" my clerk had acquired an habitual 
 deze, and even my hand-bell seemed to have lost 
 its power of disturbing his siesta! Matters
 
 8 ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 
 
 looked desperate, and some extraordinary effort 
 must be made to maintain appearances ? Things 
 were in this state when I received a. call from a 
 venerable old gentleman, for whom I had been 
 actively employed in my clerkship. Though I 
 had almost jumped up in ecstacy at the un- 
 wonted sound of voices in the outer room, I felt 
 bitter disappointment when my visitor was 
 ushered in ; for I inferred that his object could 
 only be to discuss old business of which I 
 thought I had taken leave for ever, or to bother 
 me with the yet more provoking inquiry after 
 papers or documents long since sent to the 
 tomb of the Capulets. I w^as mistaken. 
 
 ' Mr. Sharpe, I have been at a stand-still ever 
 since I lost you : nobody understands my case : 
 nobody will read my papers : I have to begin 
 again, and go over all the old ground, — what 
 can I do ? " 
 
 " Tell me how I can help you, and I will with 
 all my heart." 
 
 " You must take the business into your own 
 hands." 
 
 " That would be unfair to my late masters," 
 
 " They wish it themselves." 
 
 I inquired into the fact, and found it was so.
 
 IN SEARCn OF PKACTICE. 9 
 
 I cannot consistently, with the mask that I am 
 obliged to assume, mention their names ; and 
 if I could, my testimony to their liberal and 
 i>:eneroas behaviour could add but little to the 
 very distinguished station which they have 
 long and deservedly occupied in the profession. 
 This old gentleman was the claimant of prop- 
 erty exceeding half a million sterling. I believe 
 that it was nearly double that amount, but I 
 never accurately learnt the sum. lie ^^'as a 
 man of fLrst-rate abilities and wonderful reso- 
 lution ; he had been engaged for a cpiarter of a 
 century in prosecuting this claim, and had 
 accumulated papers upon it sufficient to load a 
 coal-wagon. Disappointment, however, had 
 attended all his efforts : he had three times 
 memorialized the special tribunal w^hich parlia- 
 ment had appointed for the investigation of his 
 and similar cases, and he had three times been 
 turned back. In this dilemma, he was recom- 
 mended to apply to the eminent house to which 
 I have alluded: his papers were in a foreign 
 lano;ua2:e which I alone in the office under- 
 stood; and hence he was handed over to my 
 care. When I left the office, I had, by dint of 
 
 immense exertion, reduced his voluminous 
 1*
 
 10 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOE,NEY 
 
 papers to a manageable form, and put the mat- 
 ter in such a simple train for explanation, that 
 I never dreamt of my further aid being required. 
 It is difficult, however, for the ablest man to 
 take up another's w^ork ; and poor Mr. Boyle 
 soon found himself at sea with my successor. 
 Had I at this time made a bargain with him, 
 he felt his case so beset with difficulties, and so 
 likely to survive, if not to murder him, for he 
 was then seventy-two, that he would gladly 
 have allowed nie live per cent, on all that I 
 might recover ; indeed, he hinted as much ; but 
 I neither then nor now think such a mode of 
 doing business quite honest, or at least, respec- 
 table. ^Hien relieved from all scruples of deli- 
 cacy, by the kindness of his former solicitors, I 
 resumed the case with all the energy I could 
 command. His age prevented his daily coming 
 to me; and consequently, I spent my time, 
 often extending far into night, at his house. I 
 succeeded for him to the full extent of his de- 
 mand ; but not till my statement of it, and 
 my proofs, had been submitted to the keen 
 scrutiny and close consideration of that clear- 
 headed statesman, the late Mr. Huskisson. I 
 shall not soon forget the grateful elation with
 
 IN SEARCH OF rRACTICE. H 
 
 which Mr. Bojle announced to me his success. 
 He had been laboring for years in vain. He 
 had spent life's best existence in painful re- 
 search, in self-denying privation, in prison, in 
 want, and in personal danger ; resolved never 
 to abandon, but with life itself, the prosecution 
 of a case which aftbrded him the only prospect 
 of satisfying creditors who owed their losses to 
 his most unmerited misfortunes. He had at 
 length triumphed. He frankly and gratefully 
 acknowledged that he owed that triumph essen- 
 tially to my intelligence and industry. He was 
 placed by it in circumstances, not only, of inde- 
 pendence, but of wealth, even after paying to the 
 uttermost farthing every sixpence that he owed ; 
 and to his honor it should be added that efHux- 
 ion of time had long extinguished every legal 
 liability. His creditors nobly acknowledged 
 his merit, for they not only returned him the 
 interest on their debts, but presented him wdth 
 an estate which cost them sixty thousand 
 pounds. He called for my bill, and I looked 
 on my fortune as made : it somewhat exceeded 
 forty-one pounds, five shillings, and sixpence, 
 and was paid to a fraction; but I lost my 
 client! I did afterwards conduct for him an
 
 12 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 appeal to the privy council, invoh'ing a com- 
 paratively trifling sum of five or six thousand 
 pounds, and I lost it on a point of law. He 
 was too noble-minded to have resented this, as 
 the failure was not mine. I attribute his deser- 
 tion of me to a very different cause, and one 
 which, I fear, vindicated it to his own mind. 
 Having paid his creditors in full, he wished to 
 supersede his bankruptcy. The commission 
 was of nearly thirty years' date ; he was very 
 old and infirm ; and I collected from him that 
 complicated and serious accounts were still out- 
 standing between him and the estate of his de- 
 ceased partner. I deprecated the supersedeas 
 of his bankruptcy, lest it should rip open 
 differences which costly and perennial litigation 
 alone could settle: he could not comprehend 
 the difficulty, and, I fear, ascribed it to motives 
 that he disdained, — a wish to protect him by 
 technical defense, from obligations that he 
 knew were just. K this was not the cause of 
 his alienation from me, I know it not to this 
 hour; but so dire was the offense that I un- 
 consciously gave him, that he limited his grati- 
 tude strictly to my demand, and cut me from 
 that day, or nearly so, to the day of his death,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 13 
 
 twelve years after. I have met with many un- 
 accountable disappointments in my professional 
 career, but few of tbem bave been more myster- 
 ious to me, tban how I happened to offend this 
 venerable client, by recovering for him half a 
 million of money under desperate circumstances, 
 at a cost of £41. 5.?. 6d. 
 
 This disappointment mortified me much at 
 the time, and even still I feel it ; but somehow 
 or other I gradually crept on in connexion, 
 though still destined to lose my clients as 
 rapidly as I acquired them. I have always had 
 the credit of being a good-natured fellow : it is 
 the worst reputation that an attorney can enjoy ; 
 he may be as acid as Sir Vicary Gibbs (my 
 younger readers will scarcely understand the 
 allusion), as roguish as Ikey Solomons (this 
 comes nearer the present day), as ignorant of 
 law as my Lord B (nobody will misunder- 
 stand this), and yet, if he is not unluckily a 
 good-natured fellow, he will make money and 
 retain clients. A reverend clergyman, whom 1 
 had known intimatelv at Cambridge, had a 
 pretty servant-girl. The pretty servant-girl had 
 previously lived in a wealthy family of rank, 
 where she had sriven g-reat satisfaction ; so
 
 14 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 great, that she looked for higher wages, and 
 these being refused, she took herself off. A 
 pretty girl is not likely to he long out of 
 place, if she conducts herself decently, and very 
 soon she found one to her heart's content ; hut 
 character was required, and her former mistress 
 being piqued at her abrupt departure, declared 
 
 y her to be all that was excellent, but nodded her 
 head, and added that she was " unsteady." A 
 nod of the head, whether from a prime minister 
 or a prima donna, is no trifle ; the pretty, but 
 " unsteady " services of the girl were rejected; 
 the fair one took refuge with the reverend 
 gentleman; and he appealed, with Quixotic 
 benevolence, to my confounded good-nature to 
 see the girl " righted." I brought an action 
 
 1 for the libel, against my pleader's advice this 
 time, for I had had experience enough of being 
 too clear-sighted; I laid the damages high; 
 assigned as many mischievous inuendoes to the 
 word " unsteady," as an Irishman reeling along 
 in all his glory could have devised; and, 
 against all reason, law, and common sense, re- 
 covered a hundred pounds, when as many pence 
 would have been ample indemnity. A new 
 trial was moved for, and of course obtained, on
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 15 
 
 payment of costs by tlie defendant. The costs 
 were paid ; the record again brought down ; 
 the cause called on; the jury sworn; and then 
 the defendant cried peccavi ! offered to submit 
 to the damages assessed before, and pay all 
 costs of the second trial. TMiat man in his 
 sober senses would reject such overtures ! Of 
 course I acceded to them, packed up ray brie£?, 
 and bolted. The costs were very heavv, for 
 witnesses had been subpoenaed to rebut the 
 pleas of justification. I write from recollection, 
 but if my memory does not deceive me, the 
 taxed costs between party and party were more 
 than <£300. Mv extra costs would have swal- 
 lowed up the damages, but my " good-nature " 
 would only accept those out of pocket, about 
 thirty pounds; leaving the pretty " unsteady " 
 lass seventy to comfort herself with, on the 
 strength of which she married a very steady 
 l)aker in less than a month. But again I lost 
 my reverend client ! " TVas ever such a gross 
 dereliction of duty ! to submit to a dastardly 
 compi'omise; to spare the well-deserved ex- 
 posure ! such scandalous oppression ! such un- 
 heard-of, such base, such unprecedented calumny 
 on a poor, helpless, unfriended girl ! and her
 
 16 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 own attorney, after taking up her cause ' good- 
 naturedly,' benevolently, and boldly, to cow 
 before the front of cruelty, and the pride of rank 
 and purse !!!'"' &c. &c. &c. So my reverend 
 friend bade me good-by ; transferred his patron- 
 age and his business elsewhere; and, though 
 vve have once or twice, during the last twenty 
 years, met on cool and distant terms, I have 
 never seen him or any of his connexion, within 
 the walls of my office, from that hour to this. 
 "We were previously on terms of intimacy. 
 
 My " good nature " has been eternally in ray 
 way; another early incident of my professional 
 life will show this in another light. In the last 
 instance, it led me into the folly of espousing a 
 bad case on its merits, on the solicitation of an 
 ass who could not understand its demerits ; and 
 though I won the case, I lost the blockhead's 
 business, which was far better worth gaining ; 
 but the next folly into which my "good nature" 
 plunged me entailed with it loss of time, trouble, 
 money, and connexion too, simply becawse I 
 laid people under obligations, who were too 
 poor to discharge them, and too proud to 
 acknowledge them ! and, perhaps I should say, 
 too mean to offer that indirect, but satisfactory
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 17 
 
 acquittance which is easily won hv the favor- 
 able introduction of a young professional man 
 to the circles of rank and wealth. 
 
 I had still next to nothing to do, when acci- 
 dent brought me to the acquaintance of a lady 
 of high birth and considerable property, but 
 whose affairs were deeply, though not irretriev- 
 ably involved. The peculiar introduction which 
 I had to her, though the object of it was ex- 
 pressly to offer my professional services, com- 
 pelled me, as I thought, to offer them gratui- 
 tously. They were accepted with an avidity 
 that ouffht to have made me distrustful of their 
 value being appreciated : but I had undertaken 
 no trifling duty; there were bailiffs to baifle, 
 duns to tranquilize, annuitants to awe, friends to 
 coax, and, in a word, the de^^il to pay. How I 
 ever got through it, I cannot tell, but I did clear 
 the road; and finally, by cutting down one claim, 
 compromising another, and setting at defiance 
 two or three score, till they willingly took a 
 shilling in the pound, T succeeded in extricat- 
 ing my "honorable" client, and comfortably 
 left her to make the best shift she could on 
 some twelve hundred a-year. I was never 
 asked for mv costs, nor ever asked her for them,
 
 18 AUVENTUllES OF AN ATTORNBV 
 
 though they would have heen no trifle; but a 
 year or two after I casually met her in the 
 park, where certainly I had no business to be. 
 She was walking with a female relative. 
 
 " Good morning, Mrs. Leighton : it is a 
 lovely day." 
 
 The glass to the eye, and a distant courtesy. 
 
 " I wonder that the park is so deserted in this 
 weather." 
 
 A second courtesy, partaking rather of the 
 bow. If I have too much good-nature, I cer- 
 tainly seldom want assurance; and that is a 
 kind of compensation-balance — a good set-oflT, 
 as my brethren would say. 
 
 " Laura, my dear, I fear the carriage will 
 miss us ; " and so saying, my " honorable " 
 client was meditating an escapade closely border- 
 ing on the cut direct. I resolved this should 
 not succeed. 
 
 " Apropos of the carriage, Mrs. Leighton, 
 had you any more trouble with that rascal h 
 coach-maker, Stiffspring ? " 
 
 " Oh, my dear Mr. Sharpe, I declare I didn't 
 know you! don't mention the fellow's name; 
 you quite distress me, — the horrid creature ! 
 but I can't stop to talk now, for the wind is
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 19 
 
 very cold, (it was a sultry day in July I) I sliall 
 see you soon," and so saying, she directly 
 turned back, assuring "Laura" that the carri- 
 age must have gone the other way. I pursued 
 my own ; and never have seen her since, though 
 I hear she is again in the same quagmire in 
 which I first found her : and there she may 
 remain for me.
 
 20 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 "Non nostrum inter vos ta^.ms componere lites."— JScl. III. 
 
 It was my destiny, for a long time, to fall in 
 witli most unmanageable clients. I have no 
 doubt that everv solicitor who has to make his 
 own connexion, as it is called^ meets with the 
 same adventures, more or less; but I cannot 
 help thinking that I have had more than my 
 fair share. There are two classes of clients 
 that I have always found especially tickle and 
 difficult to please; and yet in the first instance, 
 they are always the most confiding and appar- 
 ently the most docile. Docility is a great 
 point in a client: some attorneys will laud 
 ductility as a better virtue, and very near akin 
 to it; I will not dispute this, when the client 
 has the other properties of gold; but by docil- 
 ity, I mean something between ductility, plia- 
 bility, and capability: whereas clients of the
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 21 
 
 classes I am about to mention have very sel- 
 dom any of either of these good qualities after 
 their first or second interview. 
 
 Whatever wears a petticoat, whether ladies 
 or clergymen, is an absolute nuisance in an 
 attorney's ofiice. I have given a specimen of 
 both, but not exactly in the character to which 
 I now allude. 
 
 One day when I was meditating gravely 
 on the past, and speculating anxiously on the 
 future, each foot on the hob, and leaning back 
 in my office chair, which began now to exhibit 
 a little of the professional dignity of fading 
 morocco, a portly gentleman, with a rosy face 
 that confessed to a daily bottle of port for at 
 least forty summers, was announced as "the 
 Venerable the Archdeacon Tithestraw." I rose, 
 and bowed, and offiBred him the professional 
 throne on which I had been myself seated, not, 
 I protest, from any obsequious deference, though 
 I own to certain pleasurable anticipations of 
 an exchequer suit, but simply because my 
 mind misgave me as to the sufficiency of any 
 other chair in the room, adequate to his safe 
 reception, in point of strength and capacity. 
 
 "You are a Cambridge man, Mr. Sharpe?"
 
 22 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "I have that honor, Sir.' 
 
 "May I ask what college?" 
 
 So many Cantabrigian sins rushed to my 
 conscience, though it had slumbered over them 
 for years in peace, that I was awe -struck by 
 the interrogatory, not less than by the pom- 
 posity of his tone, and the inflated dignity of 
 his manner. 
 
 "Certainly, Sir; but excuse me for first in- 
 quiring why you ask?" 
 
 " Sir, I am unfortunately compelled, by con- 
 scientious principles, to embark in a contro- 
 versy of the most painful nature with one of 
 my parishioners; and as mine is a peculiar, 
 indeed I may say a very uncommon case, I 
 would fain avail myself of the assistance of a 
 legal adviser whose sympathies, not less than 
 his professional zeal, would be enlisted in my 
 behalf. I heard in our combination-room, that 
 you and I, Sir, were both children of the same 
 Alma Matei', and hence I inquired your col- 
 lege to assure myself of your identity." 
 
 This long-winded enunciation of himself 
 and his business, did not by any means pre- 
 possess me in favor of my visitor: however, 
 six and eight-pence is worth having, come
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 23 
 
 from what pocket it may, so I declared my col- 
 lege, and satisfied his doubts : he then proceeded. 
 
 "It is most painful, Sir, to any man who 
 feels the due importance of the pastoral rela- 
 tion, to be involved in a controversy with a 
 parishioner about the temporalities of the 
 church; but we owe a duty to our successors, 
 which is too frequently opposed to our natural 
 inclination to yield, rather than assert by law, 
 our most undoubted rights." 
 
 The sentiment was awfully impressive, and 
 might possibly be sincere. I bowed, and 
 hemmed acquiescence. 
 
 "I need not remind you. Sir, that though 
 in the present day, and for some centuries 
 past, that revolution that occurred in our 
 ecclesiastical polity in the days of the eighth 
 Henry, completely secularized all property in 
 tithes, and subjected them to the manifold 
 incidents of a lay -fee, yet on the acknowl- 
 edged principles of our common law, spiritual 
 persons alone are entitled to receive them." 
 
 The Archdeacon now became awfully learned ! 
 I again bowed and hemmed, but with some- 
 what more of the hem critical, than the hem 
 acquiescent: he advanced in his syllogism.
 
 24 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "I, Sir, am a spiritual person, as my card 
 has doubtless assured you. I am the vicar of 
 Dumbleton cum Quagland, in the county of 
 Lincoln; and by virtue of the endowment, I 
 claim, as of indisputable right, all the tithes 
 of* hay, wool, agistment, sheep, calves, poultry, 
 and garden stuff, and all oblations, mortuaries, 
 and dues thereto belonging, or in any way 
 appurtenant to the same." 
 
 It admitted of no question; on my part it 
 would have been downright folly to doubt it : 
 my assent to the position was tbis time most 
 cordial. 
 
 "Easter offerings. Sir, are, as you of course 
 well know, dues of common right." 
 
 He paused, as if for a professional confirma- 
 tion of the dogma, but I knew nothing about 
 it, though I was afraid to say so. My policy 
 was to parry the thrust by a simple 
 
 "Well, Sir?' 
 
 "I may be wrong. Sir; I do not pretend to 
 be an authority in sucb matters, but the slight 
 research which my clerical duties have allowed 
 me to make into them, has taught me to con- 
 sider this as an axiom in law; for I find it 
 60 laid down by my Lord Coke, and also
 
 m SEARCH OV PRACTICE. 25 
 
 recognized in the learned book of Peere Wil- 
 liams, ' for/ says the chief baron Gilbert, ' Eas- 
 ter offerings are a compensation for personal 
 tithes, or as other authorities maintain, for the 
 tithe of personal labor; inasmuch us by the 
 statute 2 and 3 of Edward VI, chap, xiii, sec. 
 7, it is enacted, that every person shall yearly, 
 at or before Easter, pay, for his personal tithe, 
 the tenth part of his clear gain, his charges 
 and expenses being allowed according to his 
 degree." 
 
 I began to gasp for breath, ha^ing long 
 since been out of my depth, but my venerable 
 visitor had not o-ot to the be<>:innino- of his 
 case; and in spite of exchequer suits in view, 
 I trembled at the prospect. Silence was ob- 
 viously my cue, and I allowed him to go on 
 without interruption. 
 
 "It was determined in Newn versus Cham- 
 berlain, 1 Ecjuity Cases Abridged, page 366, 
 that the clear profit of a corn-mill must be 
 reckoned after deducting the charge of erect- 
 ing the mill; and this has been decided over 
 and over again, for which see Ambler, Ver- 
 non, Brown, Lee, and many other old and 
 
 valuable reports." 
 2
 
 26 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 I was absolutely in coiisternation : exami- 
 nation before admission was nothing to it; I 
 quaked horribly, and could only still reply : 
 
 "Well, Sir?" 
 
 "Well, Sir; Peter Tyler, the miller at Dum- 
 bleton cum Quagland, my wealthiest parish- 
 ioner, sets me at defiance, and insists that the 
 sails are an annual charge to be deducted 
 from his clear profits before he will pay his 
 personal tithe of labor, commonly called Eas- 
 ter dues!" 
 
 I began to suspect a hoax, but it was not 
 prudent to avow the suspicion. 
 
 "I thought. Sir, at least I always under- 
 stood, that two-pence or three-pence per head 
 was universally recognized as the rate of 
 Easter dues!" 
 
 "I know not by what law or statute that 
 limit can be prescribed, Sir, nor do I know 
 any precedent that can overrule the act of 
 Edward the Sixth. Will you favor me with 
 a case, Sir?" 
 
 I was convinced the man was hoaxing me, 
 and I resolved to be even with him. 
 
 "The case of Twitch and Tweakem is de- 
 cisive on that point."
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 27 
 
 "Twitch and Tweakem," taking out his 
 pocket-book and noting it down: "have the 
 goodness to refer me to the report." 
 
 'You will find it," I said, turning over a 
 common place book with nothing in it, "at 
 page 551 of Quotem's Reports, vol. 15." 
 
 But there was no joking in the matter: he 
 returned to me the next dav to tell me that 
 he had been to the Temple and Lincoln's 
 Inn libraries, and even to the British Museum, 
 but could discover neither the case nor the 
 book. 
 
 "Very likely. Sir; it is extremely scai'ce, 
 and not to be met with, except by sheer acci- 
 dent; but what do you wish me to do?" 
 
 "I wish you to compel Peter Tyler, Sir, to 
 render an account, a true and just account, of 
 his clear annual profits; and in a case, Sir, 
 like this, where the interests of the church (of 
 which I am an unworthy minister) are at 
 stake, I am willing to bear any reasonable 
 expense, even if it should, by the tedious un- 
 certainty of the law, (for which I blame no 
 one) absorb twenty, or thirty, or peradventure 
 fifty pounds." 
 
 I could scarcely forbear a laugh at the mag-
 
 28 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 nificeuce of his proffered martyrdom to the gen- 
 eral interests of the churcli; or at the naivete 
 with which he thought to disguise, under such 
 a flimsy veil, a splenetic and vindictive feeling 
 against the poor miller of Dumbleton cum 
 Quagland: on my assuring him that he must 
 reckon on costs upon a ten -fold scale, he 
 applied his snow-white camhric to his olfac- 
 tory organ, replaced his shovel-hat upon his 
 brows, and with most dignified courtesy bade 
 me good-morning. I never heard what be- 
 came of Peter Tyler and his mill, nor whether 
 my estimate of costs, or my joke, had settled 
 the point, but I did hear, that shortly after- 
 wards the venerable archdeacon was a trustee 
 defendant in an important cause in which I 
 was retained by — nobody!
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 29 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 " Lucent genialibus altis 
 Aurea fulcra toris, epulreque ante ora paratae 
 Kegifico luxu: Furiarum maxima juxta 
 Accubat, et manibus prohibet contingere mensas, 
 Exsurgitque facem attollens." — ^n. VI. 
 
 I WAS still musing on my misfortunes, for 
 lack of other more interesting topics of pro- 
 fessional meditation, when about ten days after 
 this mortifying discoyery, a ticket-porter came 
 bustling up to my office door, bearing an 
 antiquated box well protected by iron clamps, 
 corded and locked, and duly directed to Greg- 
 ory Sharpe, Esq., Attorney at Law, &c., "to 
 be kept di\y, this side uppermost," and all the 
 rest of it. The man demanded fifteen shillings 
 for the carriage, and two more for the porter- 
 age ; but where it came from, except from that 
 Maelstorm of parcels and passengers, the Golden 
 Cross, or what it contained, he knew no more 
 than the dead. I again suspected a hoax of
 
 30 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOllNEY 
 
 stones and brickbats, by way of apology for 
 demanding seventeen shillings, but there was a 
 sweet promise about the venerable chest, which 
 determined me on venturing, atid I paid for, 
 and received the charge. Day after day, and 
 week after week passed over, but no explanatory 
 letter arriv^ed; and though the box was dis- 
 tinctly addressed to me, yet as it was securely 
 locked and no key had been forwarded, I was 
 deterred by scruples of delicacy, from opening 
 it. I eyed it and examined it daily and curi- 
 ously, and various and profound were my 
 speculations. It was to be "kept dry;" this 
 argued papers or deeds within ; but then the 
 top was " to be kept uppermost," and I well 
 knew that all the writings and deeds of the 
 richest land-holders in the kingdom were hourly 
 turned over in an attorney's office, without up- 
 setting a title. ISIy scruples might have re- 
 stricted mv curiositv for a twelvemonth, bnt 
 for the seasonable visit of a fair damsel, who 
 carried on the mvsterv of bonnet-makino;. She 
 called on me one morning in considerable 
 agitation; under such excitement indeed, that 
 my professional dreams always haunting my 
 sanguine imagination, took a new form, and
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 31 
 
 "breach of promise," with all its interesting 
 details flitted before my eyes ! I had almost 
 instinctively rung my bell to dispatch a retainer 
 to Serjeant Wilde, when, having recovered her 
 breath, exhausted by the steepness of my stairs, 
 the damsel exclaimed in a tone which showed 
 that she had not by any means recovered her 
 composure, " Pray Mr. Sharpe, if that be your 
 name, why haven't you sent me Mrs. Eudall's 
 bonnet?" 
 
 " Simply because I have not received it, and 
 have not the honor of knowing such a ladv." 
 
 " Well, now, that is strange ! and isn't your 
 name Sharpe? and ain't you an attorney of 
 law? and don't you live at K'o. 10. in this here 
 street ? " 
 
 " Precisely so, my good lady ; but you seem 
 to know ten times more about me than I do of 
 you, or Mrs. Rudall either." 
 
 She then drew a letter out of her pocket, and 
 showing me the address, inquired if I knew the 
 writing. I disclaimed all acquaintance with it. 
 She returned it to her pocket, without reading 
 a line of it, and saying there must be some 
 strange mistake, and begging pardon for the 
 intrusion, withdrew. Here was new matter for
 
 32 ADVENTURES OF AX ATTORNEY 
 
 curiosity, l>ut lay tliouglits still foudly cliuging 
 at intervals, to the box, I began to penetrate the 
 mystery, and without more hesitation, sent for 
 a smith to open it. The first object that met 
 my eye, was the unlucky bonnet, most carefully 
 hedged round with papers and parchments to 
 sustain it in its vertical position. I removed it 
 with all possible care, and found deposited im- 
 mediately beneath it, a letter addressed to my- 
 self, in an elegant female hand, on beautiful 
 embossed paper, and slightly sealed with wax 
 of celestial blue, impressed with Cupid retaining 
 a dove by a silken cord. 
 
 " Mrs. Eudall presents her compliments to 
 Mr. Gregory Sharpe, and begs permission to 
 forward to him all her deeds and papers, being 
 involved in a most cruel dispute witli her land- 
 lord, and having heard from their mutual 
 friend, the Rev. Mr. Fairfax, an old college 
 acquaintance of Mr. Sharpens, the highest testi- 
 monv to his character and abilities. Mrs. 
 Rudall will trouble Mr. Sharpe to allow some 
 of his people to take the bonnet, which she has 
 enclosed for safety in the box, to Madame 
 Livorne. Mr. Sharpe will please to direct all 
 possible care to be taken of the bonnet, and to
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 33 
 
 favor Mrs. Rudall with liis opinion on her case, 
 as early as possible, her landlord behaving like 
 a brute, and being very troublesome ! " 
 
 "P. S. Mrs. Rudall will be glad if Madame 
 Livorne can send home the bonnet by this day 
 week." 
 
 Here was I in a pretty mess ! the letter had 
 no date or address; mere ornamental append- 
 ages in the opinion of most fair correspondents. 
 More than a fortnight had already gone by. T 
 had no certain clue to Madame Livorne, and as 
 to the case, and tlie brute of a landlord, had I 
 been Theseus himself, my lovely client had 
 shown herself no Ariadne. I turned over the 
 papers with a vengeance, but I could make 
 nothing of them. I had lost sight of Fairfax 
 for above seven vears, and never knew more of 
 him, than as a casual companion to take wine 
 with. In short, I resolved to leave the affair to 
 the chance of the tables, after making an hon- 
 est and ineffectual attempt to trace the bonnet- 
 maker 
 
 Another week elapsed, and to my relief, 
 though somewhat also to my surprise, a lady 
 drove up to my office door, sending up a tiger 
 to beg that I would oblige her by stepping 
 
 9*
 
 34 ADVENTURES OF AK ATTORNEY 
 
 down to her carriage. I immediately obeyed; 
 and a good - looldug lady of some thirty years' 
 (hde, and sweetly smiling a self- introduction, 
 announced herself as Mrs. Rudall. 
 
 '■^Have you got my bonnet, Mr. Sharpe?" 
 "I have, madam, and several deeds and 
 papers that came -svith it." 
 
 " Oh, never mind the deeds and papers, they 
 will keep till to-morrow; hut how could you 
 be so inconsiderate as to detain my bonnet?" 
 
 " Really, madam, had you told me where to 
 send it, I would — " 
 
 "Why, I told you to Madame Livorne! " 
 "But you never told me where she lived." 
 "In St. James's street, to be sure; everybody 
 knows where Madame Livorne lives; " laying a 
 stress on the word "everybody," with some- 
 thing between a sneer and a tone of incredulity. 
 I lisped out some nonsense about ray profes- 
 sional distance from the world of fashion, and 
 offered the amende honorable^ by forthmth for- 
 warding the bonnet to its destination ; but this 
 she declined, taking the precious charge upon 
 herself; and at the same time promising to 
 make an appointment to see me on "her case," 
 before she left town. I had the wit to ask her
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 35 
 
 address, and I called at her hotel three succes- 
 sive days without once finding her sufficiently 
 at leisure to enter on the subject. I did not call 
 again, though she staid a week in London. 
 The day before she quitted it, I received an- 
 other note from her, which, though not sealed 
 with doves or blue wax, I opened with alacrity, 
 but found it only contained an order to deliver 
 over the box with its contents to another attor- 
 ney, the brother-in-law of Madame Livorne, 
 "whom she had luckily found an opportunity 
 of putting in possession of all the circum- 
 stances of her unfortunate case ! ! ! " 
 
 I was indebted to the kindness of Miss Gor- 
 don, a lady of high connexions, and intimate 
 with many members of my own family, for 
 an introduction to Lady Carysfort, who, with 
 her two sisters, Mrs. Walsingham and Miss 
 St. Clair, were entitled to the accumulations of 
 a very large property, amounting to ^£80,000. 
 The income of their father had for peculiar 
 reasons, not necessary to explain, been made 
 over to trustees to allow him a certain mainte- 
 nance for life, and on his decease to distribute 
 the principal with all the accumulations among 
 his three daughters, subject, however, to the
 
 36 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 discharge of his just debts. The father died; 
 but the trustees demurred to the iniinediate dis- 
 tribution, on account of certain outstanding 
 chiims of an indefinite and questionable char- 
 acter. My assistance was required in preference 
 to that of the family solicitor, to obtain for the 
 ladies the money to which they were entitled. 
 I bestowed considerable pains on the investiga- 
 tion of the case, and eventually succeeded in 
 satisfying the trustees that they might safely 
 set the alleged creditors at deiiance, except as to 
 a coniparatively trifling sum; on this they con- 
 sented to [»roceed to a distribution, on being 
 indemnified by the cestui que trusts. Having 
 thus, at the end of two or three months, com- 
 pletely cleared away all difficulties, I explained 
 tlie matter to my clients, that I might obtain 
 the requisite instructions as to the indemnity. 
 I first called upon Miss St. Clair. 
 
 "Indeed, Mr. Sharpe, this is really good 
 news! so we shall get all our money at last?" 
 
 "Yes, ma'am; subject to the indemnity." 
 
 "I don't quite understand this indemnity 
 business, though you liave said so much to 
 explain it." 
 
 "It onlv amounts to this — if the trustees are
 
 IN SEAllCU OF PKACTICE. 37 
 
 compelled to satisfy these creditors, whieli I am 
 convinced tliey never will be, you must, jointly 
 with your sisters, refund as much money as 
 they pay on that account.'"' 
 
 " Well, if that is all, there can be no objec- 
 tion to that; but will this aifect my rights 
 under my aunt Carisbrook's mil?" 
 
 I beo-an to feel alarm ; I had never heard of 
 such a will, nor of such a person, and the plain 
 course was to say so. 
 
 "I never heard of the will of Mrs. Carisbrook!" 
 
 "The Countess of Carisbrook," laying a 
 slight emphasis on the word " Countess," be- 
 queathed to me =£500 per annum, so long as 
 my father lived." 
 
 " Then, ma'am, it mil not aifect your rights, 
 for by your father's death the annuity is gone 
 already!" 
 
 "Indeed, Mr. Sharpe, I never thought of 
 that ! this makes the matter doubly important 
 to me; of course I will give the indemnity." 
 
 And leaving my client to ponder over the 
 wonderful discoverv, I hastened to call on Mrs. 
 TValsingham. She at once comprehended the 
 whole aifair ; when, unluckily I observed that 
 it would be necessary for me to explain it also 
 
 438059
 
 38 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 to her husband, the Rev. Mr. Walsingham. 
 The lady instantly bridled up, and I saw that I 
 had perpetrated a blunder, but of what nature J 
 could not divine. 
 
 " I cannot imagine, Sir, what Mr. "Walsing 
 ham can have to do in the matter ! it is my 
 money, not Mr. Walsingham's ! " 
 
 " I believe, Madam, it is not comprised in 
 your settlement, and of course, therefore, his 
 concurrence is necessary." 
 
 " It is not of course, Mr. Gregory Sharpe, nor 
 shall I ask Mr. "Walsingham's concurrence in 
 any step that I think proper to take." 
 
 " I beg pardon for persisting in a point which 
 seems irksome to you, but you must be aware 
 that in contemplation of law, you and Mr. 
 Walsingham have a common interest, and are 
 identified." 
 
 "Identified, Sir! identified with Mr. Wal- 
 singham ! a common interest with Mr. "W"al- 
 singham ! " raising her voice at every period, 
 till at last it almost amounted to a scream. 
 
 " Well, Madam, perhaps you will oblige me 
 by at least speaking to him on the subject." 
 
 " /speak to Mr. "Walsingham ! speak to Mtyi. 
 on the subject ! or on any subject whatever ! ! !
 
 IN SEARCH OF PKACTICK. 39 
 
 Indeed, Sir, you must excuse me;" rising a' 
 the same time to ring the bell. 
 
 doubted whether she was sane ; but I sav 
 clearly that she was at all events frantic witl 
 anger; and to avoid being kicked out, whict 
 seemed highly probable, I took up my hat and 
 made my bow. 
 
 I found Lady Carysfort at home, and Sir 
 William with her, as well as Miss St. Clair, 
 who had already preceded me, and communi- 
 cated my intelligence, I was cordially received ; 
 and the sister's communication saved me all 
 trouble in explaining, but Lady Carysfort's 
 settlement had not been sent to me with Mrs. 
 Walsingham's. 
 
 " Your Ladyship will be aware of the neces- 
 sity of my ascertaining whether these moneys 
 formed anj portion of the settlement funds." 
 
 There was a little hesitation, and a slight 
 suffusion of the face, (it had been a beautiful 
 one,) as she inquired — 
 
 " What can that have to do ■\Adth it. Sir ? Is 
 not the money mine ? " 
 
 " I cannot answer that question precisely 
 without seeing the settlement. Sir William 
 may take an interest in it, or your children."
 
 40 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "Mj children, Mr. Sliarpe! my children!" 
 
 The exclamation was uttered with a shriek; 
 the poor lady immediately became hysterical; 
 Miss St. Clair sobbed audibly ; and Sir Will- 
 iam strided across the room, evidently embar- 
 rassed. The very lap - dog on the rug displayed 
 his fangs, and growled out his indignation. 
 Here was another pretty mess that I had made 
 of it ! I began to think the whole family crazy ; 
 and commissions of lunacy crossed my vision ; 
 how could I apologise, unconscious as I was (;f 
 offense ? 
 
 "Mr. Sharpe!" said Sir William sternly, 
 and suddenl}^ paused. 
 
 " Really, Mr. Sharpe," sobbed out Miss St. 
 Clair, and was again silent. 
 
 "Oh! Mr. Sharpe, if" — and poor Lady 
 Carysfort was mute from utter exhaustion. 
 
 " May I ring for assistance, Sir William ? " 
 
 " ISTo, Sir ; I want no witnesses of this un- 
 happy scene." 
 
 "Allow me to open the window, Sir, and then 
 to retire ; I will wait on her Ladyship at any 
 other time when she feels more composed." Sir 
 William approached the bell himself, and I was 
 about to withdraw.
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICK. 41 
 
 " ] think, Sir William," said Miss St. Clair, 
 "Mr. Sharpe's suggestioD, however paiiifnl, is 
 nnavoidahle; " hut T had had enough of it, and 
 expressing hastily ray regret at having been the 
 unintentional cause of so much distress, I left 
 the room, intending to call again the following 
 day. I received the following laconic letter, 
 however, in less than an hour : 
 
 " Sir William Carysfort's complimonts to 
 Mr. Sharpe, he is requested to send his account 
 to Mr. Longhead, the family solicitor, who has 
 Sir William's order to discharge it. Mr. Long- 
 head's familiar acquaintance with the domestic 
 circumstances of Sir William, points him out 
 as the proper party to bring this affair to a 
 conclusion." 
 
 I soon had the mystery explained by mv 
 friend Miss Gordon. Mr. and Mrs. Walsing- 
 bam had been separated by deed, for fifteen 
 years, and the union of Sir William and Lady 
 Carysfort was generally understood to be one, 
 though they were received in society, that would 
 have subjected more plebeian folks to certain 
 pains and penalties. One so ignorant of fashion- 
 able scandal as myself, and so little versed in 
 heraldry as never to have heard of the extinct
 
 42 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 title of Lord Carisbrook, could scarcely' be 
 expected to be skilled in family settlements. 
 Mr, Longhead managed matters better, and 
 wonnd np the distribution of the father's estate 
 1 ) y an amicable suit which lasted fifteen years.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 43 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 ''Avr,p yap yp-f}ffrbc aid^lffOac cd£l." — I<PI. EN AYA. 
 
 I coi'LD multiply these anecdotes of earlier 
 days, ad injirdtmn. Sometimes I failed to please 
 from excess of zeal; sometimes by supposed 
 lack of it, tlioiigli if my clients could have 
 penetrated my bosom, and witnessed my anx- 
 ious feelings about professional success, this 
 would have been the last fault laid to my 
 charge. On other occasions temper led me 
 astray. I plead guilty to this accusation ; and 
 yet it has not unfrequently been the case that I 
 have been reproached with coolness and want 
 of sympathy in my client's outraged feelings! 
 I have selected the preceding failures, not only 
 as curious in themselves, but as illustrating the 
 first maxim "v^^hich I would impress on a young 
 solicitor: he must inform himself, of course, of
 
 44 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 the merits of his employer's cause of complaint, 
 and judge a little for himself of his emplo^-er's 
 merits as well. It will be observed that in all 
 the instances I have mentioned, I had hut one 
 trial; and to the best of my judgment, I failed 
 in every instance to retain my client, not by 
 professional unskilfulness or negligence, but 
 by offense to my client's self-complacency. I 
 made many friends in the \cvy lirst years of 
 business; and allowing for the partial loss of 
 them by death, or bankruptcy, (a sort of com- 
 mercial syncope rarely follo\^'ed by resuscitation) 
 I retain them still. These are men with whom 
 I have grown up in the aifairs of life ; men who 
 know and understand me, and who are equally 
 understood by me. We are familiar with each 
 other's peculiarities, and not less so with each 
 other's value. It is no trifle that will sever a 
 connexion between solicitor and client, based 
 upon this mutuality of knowledge; but a man 
 who begins business at four - and - twenty has 
 but few connexions of this character; he must 
 make them for himself; if I may judge from 
 my own experience, there is no greater fallacy 
 than to conclude that the friends gained at 
 school or college, are sufficient to launch you
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 45 
 
 in the sea of life. I had siicli ephemeral ac- 
 quaintance by the hundred; but they rarely 
 stick by one for any practical good: the ma- 
 jority of them are themselves embarked in the 
 same great adventure of professional specula- 
 tion, and consequently have themselves to look 
 to first, and little leisure and less inclination to 
 assist others who may perchance hereafter 
 prove their rivals. Moreover the frankness of 
 youth discloses its defects as well as its merits, 
 and it is rare indeed that boys carry their favor- 
 able recollections of a school -fellow to the ao-e 
 of maturity. It is among those with whom 
 business, in its proper sense, brings us first ac- 
 (juainted, that we must seek to establish a con- 
 nexion ; and if that connexion is to be perma- 
 nent, their tastes, their tempers, and their 
 habits, must be as much the subject of our 
 study, as the redress of their injuries, or the 
 protection of their rights. Such is the self- 
 importance of mankind, that it is thought no 
 common favor by a senior to allow a young 
 man even one opportunity of rendering him- 
 self acceptable in his profession. Clients are 
 not very ready to intrust themselves to juvenile 
 advice; and if by the entreaty or influence of
 
 46 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 friends, or by any other accident they are in- 
 duced to do so, not only do they expect most 
 deferential gratitude, but they scan with an 
 illiberal and almost inquisitorial eye, every 
 word and gesture that in men of longer stand- 
 ing would be overlooked. Let me not be mis- 
 understood. Anything approaching to obse- 
 quious servility is disgraceful to a member of a 
 liberal profession, however young : any dis- 
 position to precipitate familiarity, or any un- 
 becoming descent to the low habits of vulgar 
 society, because wealthy clients may occasion- 
 ally be found in it, is discreditable, and for the 
 most part disgusting, even to those who are the 
 objects of such unworthy conciliation. A 
 solicitor must never forget that he is his client's 
 adviser ; and that the very act of asking advice 
 implies an acknowledged superiority of informa- 
 tion or of judgment in the party consulted. 
 
 But it is perfectly consistent with necessary 
 self- respect to fall in with the feelings, and be 
 kindly indulgent even to the prejudices and 
 wiiims of a client ; he is very often more taken 
 with this good-natured sympathy than with the 
 most brilliant parade of learning, or the most 
 triumphant success. In fact, clients come to
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 47 
 
 their solicitor to be consoled, as often as to l)e 
 assisted : and a prompt self- adaptation to their 
 oddities, a clieerfal chiming -in with their 
 fancies, a silent aeqniesccnce in their infirmities 
 of pride or temper, Avill rivet the confidence 
 which chance only perhaps, or at best a patron- 
 izing spirit, has first induced them to repose. 
 To do this skillfully, and to avoid all nial a 
 propos allusions, like the gaucheries to which I 
 have just confessed, a man must take some little 
 trouble to inform himself of his client's domes- 
 tic position. In taking instructions for wills 
 or family settlements, this is so obviously 
 indispensable, that it cannot be avoided ; but 
 some of the cases that I have above narrated, 
 will prove that it is equally requisite on occa- 
 sions that scarcely appear to trench at all on the 
 domestic relations. Without some insight into 
 such matters, we can never judge to what ex- 
 tent our advice may not be counteracted by the 
 paramount influence of a wife, a partner, or 
 even a more remote connexion. It once fell to 
 my lot to solicit a bankrupt's certificate, where 
 there were nearly a hundred creditors to be 
 canvassed : I found my applications fruitless in 
 three cases out of five, till T had enlisted the
 
 48 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOKNIiV 
 
 wife in my service, and then all was plain sail- 
 ing. I have, at the present time, an extensive 
 circle of clients, all of whom arc more or less 
 allied to a gentleman of deserved reputation for 
 good sense and a clear head, though but little 
 versed in business. I am rarely consulted by 
 one in this circle, upon a mixed question of law 
 and prudence, but I am told, " I must ask my 
 cousin what he thinks of the matter ; " this 
 cousin being somewhat timid withal, I have 
 sometimes found my counsel rejected through 
 his resistance, and generally to the injury of my 
 client. Yet I do not feel it politic to deprecate' 
 such appeals. I always yield to them as satis- 
 factory to my client, however little so to myself. 
 It is not difficult to collect this kind of infor- 
 mation without appearing to seek it officiously. 
 I have now and then pointedly asked a man 
 who has seemed half distrustful of my advice, 
 if he has no intimate friend that we could take 
 into our counsel? whether his wife or his son 
 feels an interest in the affiiir ? whether he is on 
 such terms with his family as to be sure of their 
 approbation, however things might turn out? 
 if such an investment, or such a proceeding 
 would bring him into unpleasant collision with
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 49 
 
 his partners, his correspondents, his customers, 
 etc. ; and such questions, if ]Dut with tact, 
 usually elicit sufficient of his feelings or his 
 apprehensions to enable one to detect his weak 
 side, and avoid the risk of unconsciously wound- 
 ing it. In all cases of character, such as libc-ls, 
 breach of trust, non- performance of contract, 
 or composition with creditors, these inquiries 
 are due even to the party himself.
 
 60 ADVEiMTUKJiS OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 " Si quid fecimus, certe irati non fecimus."— IV Tosc, 51. 
 
 Close, but silent observation of the manners 
 of a new client, is productive of much conven- 
 ience in our future intercourse with him. Some 
 men lay themselves bare at once, in their impet- 
 uous exposure of their injuries and grievances: 
 they rush into your office, agitated, excited, and 
 breathless with impatience, to find not merely 
 an adviser, but a ready listener. Attention 
 must be profound, but credulity scarce; never 
 believe above half of what an angry client may 
 sa}', but most patiently endure the whole of it. 
 Mr, Wilson, a merchant of great respectability, 
 one day entered my room, accompanied by his 
 senior clerk, who usually attended him as a sort 
 of peripatetic day-book. His face betrayed an 
 irritated mind ; and he seated himself in silence, 
 half afraid of trusting himself to speak on the 
 subject on which he had called to consult me:
 
 IN SHARCII OF PRACTICE. 51 
 
 after a minute's pause his clerk came to his 
 assistance. 
 
 "Mr. Wilson has called on you, Mr. Sharpe, 
 to mention — " 
 
 "Be silent, Taylor, I can speak for myself, 1 
 suppose." 
 
 "I beg pardon, Sir, hut T thought — " 
 
 "AVhat business have ymi to thiidc? Attend 
 to your own affairs, Pir." 
 
 The clerk was silenced; hut Wilson still hesi- 
 tated, cleared his throat, and began. "'Tis very 
 unpleasant, Mr. Sharpe — " He paused again, 
 again coughed, and once more made a futile 
 attempt. "'Tis really painful, Sir, when a gen- 
 tleman who has for forty years — " He could 
 not get further. 
 
 "Forty -one years last Michaelmas," inter- 
 posed Mr. Taylor. 
 
 "You are right, Taylor; forty-one years ago, 
 did T — " and then, after another momentary 
 pause, "and now to come to this!" I thought 
 it must be commercial failure, or something 
 nearly as awful ; but I wisely held my peace. 
 
 "Would you believe it. Sir? it is not an hour 
 since that villain, that dastardlv villain, called 
 me a swindler, Sir."
 
 62 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOllNEY 
 
 He almost choked in the utterance, and to 
 protect myself from a smile, I affected surprise. 
 " You a swindler, Mr. "Wilson ! " 
 
 "He did indeed, Sir: he called nie, Sir, a 
 Bwindler — a swindler! and on 'Change too!" 
 
 "A dirti/ swindler," interposed Taylor. 
 
 "Be silent, or I'll break your head, block- 
 head! he called me a swindler, I tell vou, Mr. 
 Sharpe." 
 
 "Dirty," whispered Taylor again." 
 
 "Another word, you scoundrel, and you 
 shall eat it." 
 
 "How did it happen, Mr. Wilson?" 
 
 "I went on 'Change at four, Sir — " 
 
 "Ten minutes to four by our clock," ob- 
 served Taylor, with provoking punctuality. 
 
 'I tell you it was four, Sir! Don't heed that 
 booby: at four o'clock exactly I went on 
 'Change: it is always my custom," 
 
 " Except on Saturdays," interjected Taylor. 
 
 " T haven't missed three Saturdavs tbis 
 twelvemonth, jackanapes." 
 
 " Eamsgate excepted," rejoined Taylor, still 
 correcting him. 
 
 "And didn't I go to Eamsgate for health, 
 Sir? Is a man of my years to die on 'Change?"
 
 IN SEARCH OP PRACTICE. 53 
 
 " You always said you would die at tlie desk, 
 Sir?" 
 
 "And mayn't I die where I please, Sir?" 
 
 " But the affair on 'Change, Mr. Wilson. I 
 think you had better not interrupt }Our em- 
 ployer, Mr. Taylor." 
 
 "You are right, Sir; he is always interrupt- 
 ing me: where did I leave off", Taylor?" 
 
 " At ' dirty swindler,' Sir." 
 
 " You lie, rascal, you lie ! he did not say 
 'dirty:' bad enough as 'twas, he never said 
 ' dirty.' " 
 
 " It is not material, Mr. Wilson ; ' swindler ' 
 is the actionable word." 
 
 " It is actionable then ? thank you. Sir ; 
 thank you twenty times, Mr. Sharpe : that's all 
 I wanted to know." 
 
 "Beg pardon," began Taylor; "you wanted 
 to know if ' cheat ' and ' blackguard ' were ac- 
 tionable too." 
 
 " Did he use all these coarse epithets, Mr. 
 Wilson ? It would not have been exactly legal, 
 but I think, in your place, I should have 
 knocked him down." 
 
 But Wilson turned again on his unlucky 
 clerk; and I almost feared he was about to
 
 54 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 begin the knocking -down system before my 
 face: he raised bis umbrella, and shaking it 
 violently, swore he wonld break every bone in 
 his skin, if he presumed to open his lips again, 
 and then turned to me. 
 
 " He called me swindler, Sir, and nothing 
 else; but that's enough for me, you say it is 
 actionable, and I'll proceed, or my name is not 
 Wilson ! He disgraced me before all 'Clninge, 
 the infamous villain; but thank heaven, I did 
 not knock him down : bring the action, Sir, 
 immediately ; retain Scarlett, retain the At- 
 torney-General, retain Gurney, Brougham, and 
 all of them. I'll have the whole bar, Sir ; forty- 
 one years have I imported from the Baltic, and 
 never was called ' swindler ' before ! " 
 
 " You forget Lloyd's in the panic," observed 
 the accurate clerk. 
 
 " I forget nothing. Sir ; I never forgot any 
 thing in my life, Mr. Make -mischief! " 
 
 " And that job about the bark Sally," again 
 said Tavlor. 
 
 "Say another word, Sir! say another word, 
 that's all ! say onl}^ one more word, Mr. Taylor I 
 only s]^eak again, Mr. Taylor ! one more word, 
 Sir, and—"
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 00 
 
 Poor "Wilson could say no more himself, and 
 gasping for breath, and apparently suffocated 
 with rage, he put on his hat, and left mo 
 abruptly : before he reached the foot of the 
 stairs, he reiterated his instructions in a peremp- 
 tory tone : " Immediately, Mr. Sharpe, if you 
 please, immediately." Taylor remained behind, 
 apparently" unmoved by all the scene, and un- 
 conscious of any thing extraordinary. 
 
 "Well, Mr. Taylor, I have my suspicions; 
 pray who used the pretty words ' cheat and 
 blackguard ? ' " 
 
 " Mr. Wilson." 
 
 " I thought as much . and who began the 
 controversy ? " 
 
 " Mr. Wilson." 
 
 " And what was it all about? " 
 
 " Tallow." 
 
 "Who sold it?" 
 
 "Mr. Wilson." 
 
 " Wliat was the compltiint ? ' 
 
 " ISTot equal to sample." * 
 
 " Who was right ? " 
 
 " Mr. Wilson." 
 
 " Tallows have fallen ? " 
 
 " Yes."
 
 66 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " Then bring Mr. Wilson here again to-mor- 
 row." 
 
 He came accordingly, cool and composed; 
 laughed at the affair of the previous day, 
 thanked me for my negligence in not retaining 
 all the bar, employed me on the tallow -contract 
 where he proved to be right, and without litiga- 
 tion beyond the service of a writ, he obtained 
 nearly all the difference in the value of the 
 consignment.
 
 m SEARCH OE PRACTICE. 67 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 " Qui modus trbi fuit frumenti aestimandi ? aut honararii ? "— Cic. 
 
 A MAN constantly on the look-out, can hard- 
 ly fail of linding something to do. Though my 
 success in Boyle's affair got me very little 
 money, it acquired me some credit for capabili- 
 ty. A puhlic inquiry of great national impoj-- 
 tance was in progress ; an insulated matter con- 
 nected witli it, required professional investiga- 
 tion, and many solicitors of ten times my 
 experience having declined the duty, not only 
 because it was unpopular in itself, but attended, 
 as was supposed, with some little personal risk, 
 I was invited to undertake it, I was so very 
 green at this time, that I was unconscious of 
 the fa\-orable position in which I stood, and 
 the advantage it gave me in fixing my own 
 terms, for time pressed; I was to embark 
 
 within four -and -twenty hours of receiving my 
 8*
 
 58 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 instructions, and as I have noticed, nearly a 
 dozen attorneys having already refused the 
 otRce, the government was so driven into a cor- 
 ner, that I might have named what compensa- 
 tion I pleased ; it would have heen promptly 
 given. The same insouciance about the position 
 of my employers, misled me here. I was sum- 
 moned to the Foreign Office. At the end of a 
 long apartment, busily occupied in papers from 
 which he seemed unwilling to take his eye, aat 
 a young man scarcely older than myself, and 
 dressed in the extreme of fashion, with whis- 
 kers and moustaches of no common dim«^n- 
 sions ; they were at that period much less than 
 at present; his heels were decorated with gilt 
 spurs of extraordinary length ; his trousers 
 braided en miUfaire, and in fact his whole cos- 
 tume partook of the style of military undress. 
 It was not Lord Lyndhurst, then Sir John Cop- 
 ley, though the very next day I recollect meet- 
 ing this learned Solicitor -General, in consulta- 
 tion with his yet more learned colleague, in 
 precisely the same equipment. It was not till 
 long aft«r, that I found out the title of my 
 dandy instructor ; on this occasion I knew not 
 whether he was lord or commoner, patrician or
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 59 
 
 plebeian, beyond what tlie locality argued. I 
 had been standing some "Ra'c minutes or more, 
 when he first looked up, eyeing me with a 
 stare compounded of hauteur, scrutiny, and 
 surprise. I thought to myself even then, and 
 very frequently on similar occasions since, how 
 vastly ignorant these great folks are of every- 
 thing and everybody, beyond the circle of their 
 own little world ! or would it never enter into 
 their imaginations to conceive that even the 
 most juvenile attorney on the roll would be 
 abashed for a single moment by a supercilious 
 official stare : we should indeed have labored in 
 vain at judge's chambers, and the master's 
 office, if such petty courtesies of life did not at 
 once secure our self-possession. I never meet 
 with a rude man, especially one who is conde- 
 scendingly rude, but I immediately vote him 
 vulgar ; and vulgar men are below the level of 
 gentility, let their birth or station be what it 
 may, and therefore below mine ! By this little 
 syllogism, I can always recall my self-compla- 
 cency, Avhatever may be the offense. I recom- 
 mend it strongly to the adoption of my profes- 
 sional brethren. 
 
 " What may be your name, Sir ? "
 
 60 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "Mr. Gregory Sliarpe." 
 
 " [Hcni.) Yoii are young, Mr. Sharpe." 
 
 " A^ery young, Sir," taking a chair, for he had 
 not invited me to sit down, so I invited myself. 
 
 " You are an attorney I believe, Mr. Sharpe ?" 
 
 " I am, Sir." 
 
 " Where were you educated ? " 
 
 I did not choose to understand him, as I 
 thought the catechism Verging on the impertin- 
 ent, so I replied, with a well-founded conviction 
 that it would, check his aristocratic condescen- 
 sion; "I am a Cambridge man, Sir." This 
 Uttle academical sally changed his tone, as I 
 anticipated. 
 
 " You misunderstand me, Mr. Sharpe, I was 
 alluding to your professional education ; pray 
 draw a little nearer, Sir, (I had been sitting 
 near the door :) this is a very important matter, 
 and though you have been strongly recom- 
 mended to us, 1 did not expect to see so young 
 a man. You understand French, of course ? " 
 
 "I do. Sir." 
 
 " Have you traveled abroad ? " 
 
 "ITot on the continent." 
 
 An expression of surprise again crossed his 
 features, but it was transient this time.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 61 
 
 ""Well, Sir, tins is a delicate aftair; you will 
 I am sure act with prudence and caution ; in 
 case of unforeseen difficulty, you "svill address 
 
 yourself to Sir Charles . How soon can 
 
 vou start ? " 
 
 " In an hour if vou wish it." 
 
 " Yerv well; vou will receive vour further in- 
 Btructions from the Attorney -General, and you 
 will write to us by every post, (rood morning, 
 Mr, Sharpe," and I was bowed out accordingly. 
 Extraordinarv to sav, I was afterwards in- 
 formed, by good authority too, that I had 
 " made a favorable impression on Lord CI — ! " 
 
 The Attorney - General was carefully minute 
 in the delivery of his instructions. Sir John 
 Copley lounged into the room for five minutes, 
 examined me with his glass as though I had 
 been a kangaroo, adjusted his black stock 
 before the mirror, played about his spurs with 
 a spruce jockey -whip elegantly mounted with 
 gold, and then lounged out again, with the 
 grace and foppery of a French dancing- master I 
 but I suppose this was in keeping with the 
 saloons of Carlton House. 
 
 . I proceeded on my journey, and succeeded in 
 mv mission ; it would have been difficult to fail
 
 62 ADVENTURES OF AX ATTORNEY 
 
 under the guidance of one so clear and so acute 
 as Giffbrd ; I was absent for five weeks, I was 
 only five nights in bed, and received for my 
 services exactly one hundred pounds ! ! I Had 
 I known my men better, I niiglit have had five 
 times as much. 
 
 But the occasions are rare in which a solici- 
 tor can with propriety, or indeed with safety, 
 make any ultra -professional stipulations on 
 the subject of costs. Where, as in the (iase I 
 have just mentioned, the duty is out of the or- 
 dinary course of business, arduous and respon- 
 sible in itself, and of a nature to carrj^ the 
 attorney away from his daily clients, it is not 
 onlj' competent to him, but usual to })rovide 
 that he shall receive a specific sum for his ser- 
 vices ; and as he cannot tell whether bv his 
 absence he may not lose other business of the 
 highest and most lucrative kind, he is war- 
 ranted in demanding a sum equal to what he 
 might have earned on the most liberal scale of 
 costs allowed by the courts, or by practice: 
 thus, had I been occupied in Parliamentary 
 appeals during the five weeks I was abroad, I 
 might have gained five guineas a day, and 
 adding to this a similar fee for the nights which
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 6? 
 
 I steadilj devoted to tlic pressing duty, my re 
 miineration should luive amounted to nearly 
 three times the sum that T actually received. 
 But the extraordinarv and ur2;ent nature of the 
 duty would have justified me in exjjecting still 
 further inducement, and under the circum- 
 stances, £500 would not have been thought an 
 unreasonable fee by any man acquainted with 
 the profession. Few things are more difficult, 
 than to answer the important preliminary in- 
 (luiry, "What will the costs be?" Of late 
 vears my replv has alwavs been plainlv, that I 
 cannot tell; but it was long before experience 
 convinced me, that this is the onlv safe answer 
 to give. 
 
 Connected with the sul;»j(.>ct matter of the last 
 atiair, was another in which I lost my client, 
 owing, I believe, to this common error of pre- 
 dicting the amount of costs, whereby five times 
 (•ut of six we mislead our elients, and cramp 
 our own exertions. 
 
 Mr. Bedworth was an oratorical tradesman of 
 strong politics, and had made himself conspicu- 
 ous by his ill-judged and ostentatious violence 
 on many occasions. He became obnoxious to 
 the public press, and was libelled and abused
 
 64 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 as \'irulentlj as the fondest lover of notoriety 
 could desire : lie applied to me for counsel. 
 " I am a very ill-used man, Mr. Sliarpe," 
 " I think jou are, Sir, hut I thought you 
 were the last man to complain of hard usage 
 in the good cause." 
 
 " That is very true, and I don't complain ; 
 hut these detestable papers must he put down. 
 It is a foul shame that this licentious ribaldry 
 — this tyrannical despotism of the press should 
 be tolerated : to a man of less iron nerve than 
 myself, such unmerited calumny would be 
 fatal ; to a raian more open to suspicion than 
 myself, it would be ruin." I was not tKen 
 aware that Mr. Bedworth had been twice a 
 bankrupt, three times insolvent, and, in a 
 word, " on the town " for the last five vears. 
 " I am bound by principle, Mr. Sharpc, I am 
 impelled ])y the imperious dictates- of honor 
 and conscience, to stand forward on this oc- 
 casion, and vindicate my fellow-countrymen 
 from a base thraldom, more cruel than the 
 sway of Nero. What will be said of me, what 
 will be thought of me," laying a fond empha- 
 sis on the pronoun, " if I flinch from the 
 patriotic duty!"
 
 IX SEARCH OF PKACTICE, , (JO 
 
 My humble opinion was that he would liave 
 run a better chance of getting credit for com- 
 mon sense than he ever did before; but that 
 was no affair of mine; men never consult their 
 attorneys to be complimented on their good 
 sense. I remained dumb, while the orator pro- 
 ceeded. 
 
 "These are fine days, indeed, Mr. Sharpe, 
 when a man like myself — and I pretend to be 
 nobody, I assure you, though they are pleased 
 to compliment the little talent of public speak- 
 ing, which nature has blessed me with, but let 
 that pass: I am but a humble individual, 
 exerting myself in my sphere for the public 
 good; I have no higher ambition, I assure 
 you, Sir; and if a seat were offered me to- 
 morrow, (I was in^'ited to stand for the bor- 
 ough where I was born, at the last election ; 
 though on public principle, I was obliged to 
 decline, for the deputation could not guaran- 
 tee me against expense : but this in confidence, 
 Mr. Sharpe — only by the bye — you under- 
 stand?) I say, Sir, that if I were seated to-mor- 
 row, and offered place the next day, I would 
 decline it: I would indeed, Sir, unless consci- 
 entiously assured that I could serve my coun-
 
 66 ADVENTl-EES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 try with credit (as indeed some folks say tliat 
 I could be very useful): but I am only a 
 humble individual, however kindly my friends 
 may be pleased to think of me; and I repeat, 
 that matters are come to a line pass indeed, 
 if such a humble and unpretending man as 
 myself cannot take his proper share in the 
 public duty without being scurrilously libelled, 
 and mercilessly and falsely abused! " 
 
 "Really, it is too bad, Mr. Bedworth; I am 
 not surprised at your temper being a little 
 ruffled by it." 
 
 "Pardon me, Sir, there you are wrong — 
 quite wrong: I have lived too much before 
 the world to allow my temper to be ruffled by 
 any provocation: no man is fit for public 
 life, who allows his temper to be ruffled. I 
 never was ruffled in my life, Sir; never!" 
 
 I saw I was in danger, and speedily re- 
 treated. 
 
 "I beg your pardon, Mr. Bedworth. I 
 judged of you by myself; my patience never 
 could have brooked so much contumely and 
 insult; but I was not born for public life." 
 
 "True, Mr. Sharpe; very few men are; it 
 was long before I discovered my own peculiar
 
 IN SEARCH OF PK.\CTICE. 07 
 
 fituess for it; but you are losing sight of the 
 iiximediate question." 
 
 The orator himself had lost sight of it, like 
 many other modern orators ; but we must 
 humour our clients a little. 
 
 " I have indeed, Mr. Bedworth : you quite 
 carried away my feelings, and that I confess, is 
 a great fatilt in one of my profession; but 
 what course do you intend to take ? " 
 
 He was flattered by this deferential appeal to 
 his superior sagacity. 
 
 " Certainly, Mr. Sharpe ; I well thought 
 over the subject before I called on you ; in fact 
 I gave to it all the powers of my mind : under 
 your correction, Sir, I think that a criminal 
 information is the course." 
 
 "That is scarcely usual in cases of private 
 libel, unless the libel is intended to provoke a 
 challenge." 
 
 " Private libel, Mr. Sharpe ! private libel, do 
 you call it, where a base and cowardly attack 
 is made on a public man ? " 
 
 I was again in imminent peril. 
 
 "Doubtless, Sir, it is your public character 
 that has induced the libel; but it is neverthe- 
 less a libel peculiarly of a private character, to
 
 08 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 reflect upon the honesty of a tradesman's -past 
 
 career." 
 
 "But all my friends will expect me to take 
 the more dignified course on such a serious 
 occasion ; so I have determined upon it, if you 
 please." 
 
 " Very well, Air. Bed worth ; the first thing 
 then is the afiidavit. I see you are called a 
 "gaol-bird," a "rogue of enterprise," and a 
 "gazetted thief;" your name is not specified 
 certainly, but you have no doubt, I presume, 
 that you are the party intended?" 
 
 " None at all, none whatever : ' the principal 
 speaker ' at this celebrated meeting, could be 
 nobody but me, Sir. I was undoubtedly the 
 principal speaker there. I moved the first reso- 
 lution ; I seconded the third ; I spoke on the 
 fourth ; I opposed the amendment ; and finally, 
 I returned thanks to the chair. Indeed, I may 
 say that nobod}'^ of any consequence took any 
 part in the affair, but myself." 
 
 " Then it is unquestionable. Mr. Bedworth, 
 that you are the ' gaol-bird ? ' " 
 " 1 am, Sir." 
 
 " And the ' rogue of enterprise ? ' " 
 "lam, Sir."
 
 IN SEARCH OP' PEACTIOli. 69 
 
 " And a ' gazetted thief? ' " 
 
 "I am, Sir. I am the ' goal- bird/ the ' rogue 
 cf enterprise,' and the ' gazetted thief : ' all in 
 cne — TriaJ'.mcta in una, Sir." 
 
 " Well then, we must deny it all on oath." 
 
 " That is easily done." 
 
 "I will prepare the affida\dt to-night, if you 
 will favor me with a short narrative of the last 
 few years of your trading life." 
 
 "What has that to do -wdth it?" [in obvious 
 alarm). 
 
 " We must go into court with clean hands, 
 you know ; and not only deny the charge, hut 
 all color and foundation for it." 
 
 A dead pause followed, for which I was at a 
 loss to account, and therefore deemed it prudent 
 not to interrupt it. 
 
 " 1 am thinking, Air. Sharpe, that a wise 
 man must look a little to himself, even in puhlie 
 affairs. A criminal information is a costly 
 article, I fear." 
 
 "Yes: it costs some money: fees to counsel 
 on two motions — office copies of long affidavits 
 — fees again on the trial, mount up to some- 
 thing." 
 
 "What do you suppose?"
 
 70 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "A hundred and fifty pounds, at least," 
 " A hundred and fifty pounds, Sir ! a hundred 
 and fifty pounds, Mr. Sharpe ! ! ! ]^o informa- 
 tion for me on such terms. So because a man 
 is a public man, he may be libelled, scandalized, 
 vilified, and can only purchase redress by utter 
 ruin ! Oh, how little does the world imagine 
 what we must endure who devote ourselves to 
 the public good!" 
 
 "You may bring an action, Mr. Bedworth." 
 
 " And get a farthing damages for my pains; 
 
 for a man in my station cannot expect to find 
 
 twelve men together, without a political enemy 
 
 among them ! " 
 
 " Then you may indict," 
 "What will that cost me?" 
 "A trifle comparatively — fifty or sixty 
 pounds." 
 
 "Do you call that a trifle ? " 
 " Yes ; for such a luxury as law," 
 " Well, I don't know : I am so committed to 
 my friends and with my part}-: I must do 
 Bomething. Can't you say forty pounds ? " 
 " It may be no more : I can not pledge myself." 
 " ' Tis a hard case, a very hard case, a cruel 
 case; but I must stick to principle : so indict."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 71 
 
 To cut short a long^ story, though not want- 
 ing in instruction, the bill was preferred six 
 times, before it was returned a true bill; the 
 press caught scent of the proceedings, and re- 
 venged themselves by new libels that piqued 
 my wrong - headed client into renewed exertion ; 
 and finally his costs swelled up to three hun- 
 dred and sixty pounds. He then libelled me for 
 having deceived him: paid me with a bill at 
 twelve months, which was dishonored ; and at 
 the end of some three years, and not before, my 
 costs were paid, and my public -spirited client 
 forever lost to me, not less, however,   to my 
 satisfaction than to his.
 
 72 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOENEY 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 "Emit doinum— prope dimidio carius, quam sestimabat." 
 
 Cic. pro Dom. 
 
 One axiom on the question of costs is so 
 obviously true, that we can not avoid surprise at 
 our clients so often losing sight of it. If they 
 AN'ish only to pay their attorney like a shoe- 
 black, they will soon have only shoe -blacks for 
 their attorneys. No man can limit himself as 
 to the extent of costs, without cramping his 
 exertions to a degree that may prove highly in- 
 jurious to his client's interests. The casualties 
 and accidents of litigation are so frequent, and 
 sometimes so expensive, that they occasion 
 more expenditure than even the whole of the 
 proceedings that go on in the accustomed 
 course; and if the cause of action is not of 
 sufficient importance to warrant costs out of 
 the ordinary routine, if necessary, it is wiser
 
 IN iSEARCU OF PKACTiCE. 73 
 
 and more honest to advise tlie client to submit 
 to his loss. This maxim must be received cum 
 grano, certainl}-; but in cases where character is 
 not involved, or rights ultra the subject-matter 
 of the litigation, it is invariably true. In ordi- 
 nary- actions tu recover debts, or damages for 
 pecuniary injury, the expense resolves itself into 
 mere matter of arithmetical calculation; such 
 actions, however, forju by no means the staple 
 commodity in the business of an eminent attor- 
 ney. A curious instance of this accidental 
 expenditure to a small extent, once occurred to 
 myself. 
 
 I was engaged in a cause at the assizes about 
 fifty miles from London. It stood first in the 
 paper for the day following my arrival. I had 
 traveled from town in a post-chaise with two 
 of my witnesses, one of whom was a surveyor 
 of eminence, who had been subpoenaed to pro- 
 duce his report of certain dilapidations. This 
 gentleman was one of the convivial corps, 
 remarkably corpulent, jolly, and good-humored. 
 On arriving at the assize town about seven 
 o'clock in the evening, I placed him in the post 
 that he had been anxiously coveting for some 
 three or four hours previously, at a table en-
 
 74 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 sconced in a snug box in the coffee-room, with 
 his favorite dish before him, a bottle of the 
 best port, and such a fire by his side as one 
 views with pleasure in a raw, cold evening in 
 March. He had been up with me all the pre- 
 ceding night, discussing evidence. I now told 
 him to discuss his steak, make himself com- 
 fortable, and go to bed, while I attended the 
 consultation. Mr. Baron Gurney was my 
 counsel; a man that no flaw in evidence could 
 escape. 
 
 " Has Mr. Gubble been served with a duces 
 tecum, Mr. Sharpe?" 
 
 " Yes, Sir." 
 
 " Where is his report ? " 
 
 " Here, Sir," [producing it.) 
 
 " This ! " said Gurney. " This can never be 
 the orio-inal : it is too neat and methodical. 
 "Wliere are the memorandums from which he 
 prepared it? " 
 
 It had quite escaped me to ask for them ; yet 
 it was obvious that the non- production of 
 them would seem suspicious, and insure the 
 rejection of the copy as evidence. I hastily 
 returned to Gubble, and found him wrapt in 
 full enjoyment: the cloth removed; the bottle
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 75 
 
 but half exhausted ; the feet relieved from the 
 incumbrance of tight damp boots, and relaxing 
 their swelled tendons in comfortable slippers; 
 the legs extended on a second chair, and the 
 ejes heedlessly- closing over the leading article 
 of a daily paper ; while a night- cap was already 
 overshadowing his bald temples. 
 
 " Mr. Gubble ! Mr. Gubble ! " I exclaimed, 
 " rouse yourself, ^,h\ Gubble, and come to the 
 consultation ! " 
 
 "Eouse myself! consultation! What do 
 you mean ? is the house on fire ? " 
 
 "You must explain your report. Gurney 
 doesn't understand it." 
 
 "Report! consultation! I had just settled 
 into a doze. Confound your ways of business ! 
 I don't half like them." 
 
 "Come, man; off with your cap, and on 
 with your boots, and come along with me." 
 
 He slowly raised one leg from the chair, and 
 then the other, gasping between each operation ; 
 pushed the cap back on his forehead ; groped 
 along the table for his snufi'-box ; and with the 
 finger and thumb on the hd, not yet raised, 
 growled out, " Con-sul-ta-tion ! what d'ye 
 mean ? " I repeated my summons, but he was
 
 tb ADVKXTrilES OF AN ATTUK.NEY 
 
 iu no liurry ; and deliberately exhausting the 
 piuch with one hand, while he supplied his 
 glass with the other, desired me to ring the bell. 
 
 " Waiter, send cliamb'maid. Con-sul-ta-tion ! 
 A\liat has a wearj man like me to do with con- 
 sultations ? Chamb'maid ! " 
 
 She entered. 
 
 "Lit the fire, Betty?" 
 
 " Yes, Sir." 
 
 " Bed uppermost, Betty ? " 
 
 "Yes, Sir." 
 
 " Three blankets ? " 
 
 " All right. Sir." 
 
 "Pan of coals?" 
 
 "Aired it well, Sir." 
 
 "Live coals at nine, Betty; stir the fire a 
 iittle before, Betty; draw the curtains; mind a 
 rush - light ; send waiter. " 
 
 The waiter again appeared. 
 
 "What can I have for supper, waiter?" 
 
 "What you please. Sir." 
 
 "Something light: devilled gizzard? 
 
 "1^0, Sir." 
 
 "Sausages?" 
 
 " Can't recommend 'em. Sir." 
 
 "Oysters?"
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 77 
 
 "Very fine, Sir, and fresh: how would you 
 like 'em?" 
 
 "Scalloped — Welsh rabbit to follow — egg 
 flip." 
 
 "When, Sir?" 
 
 "Immediately — in ten minutes: and now for 
 your con-sul-ta-tion, Mr. Sharpe." 
 
 The night-cap was easily siipers^eded by the 
 hat, but all the bootmakers in London could 
 not have replaced the calf- skin on his expanderl 
 limbs. He toddled along in his slippers as well 
 as he could, over the slippery, half- frozen 
 stones. I would not suffer him to wait to re- 
 sume his coat, which he had cxcLanged for his 
 dressing-gown before he began his dinner. 
 Groaning, yawning, and cursing all law and 
 all lawyers, Gubble t-ntered the chambers, 
 sfaring round in perplexity, and rubbing 
 his eyes, as if doubtfnl whether it was not a 
 dream. 
 
 "Mr. Gubble, vour memorandums." 
 " Memorandums ! " 
 
 "Yes: those from which your report is pre- 
 pared." 
 "Report!" 
 "Yes; your report. Are you awake, man?"
 
 78 \DVENTUIIES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "Zounds! I scarcely know. I was just go- 
 ing to bed." 
 
 "Go when you like; but we must have tlie 
 memorandums." 
 
 " Memorandums ! I've got no memoran- 
 dums. Bharpe has the report." 
 
 " Tut ! man ; I have the report here, in my 
 hand, but where is your note-book?" 
 
 "iTote-book!" 
 
 "Yes; note -book: have you no papers but 
 this?" 
 
 " Why, I don't know what more you want. 
 I have a sort of pocket-book, but it's of no 
 use." 
 
 "Where is it?" 
 
 "At home." 
 
 "Where?" 
 
 "At Hackney." 
 
 " You must go for it ! " 
 
 "Go for it!!!" 
 
 " Certainly." 
 
 " AYhat, to Hackney ! ! ! " 
 
 " To Hackney." 
 
 "Well, this is a queer business! go back to 
 Hackney, and subpoenaed here ! " 
 
 "Not at all; you must fetch it."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 79 
 
 " I fetch it ! that's a good one ! Boots must 
 call me early in the morning, I fancy ! " 
 
 " Morning, man ! you must be back by the 
 morning ! " 
 
 "Back by morning! Hackney, to-night! ! ! 
 a hundred miles to-night!!! sure you are 
 mad ! " 
 
 "Very likely; " coolly observed Gurney, "but 
 it must be done." 
 
 "You'll not catch me doing it, I can tell you, 
 done or undone ; I've not half finished my din- 
 ner; and ten minutes more would have found 
 me in bed, which I never leave at night, unless 
 burnt out." 
 
 But Mr. Gurney had given me my cue. A 
 chaise and four was already at the door ; poor 
 Gubble's great coat and boots safely deposited 
 within it, with an extra blanket, and a second 
 bottle to keep him warm. We bundled and 
 heaved him into the chaise, half by persuasion, 
 and half by force, and cautioned the boys not 
 to let him oat for the first two stashes ; trusting 
 to his fears and his good sense to do the rest, 
 when he was sufficiently awake to reflect on it. 
 We reckoned rightly. He was back by ten the 
 next morning; entered the court as we were
 
 80 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 called on, unsliavcd, undressed, but elated with 
 the thought of his activity; produced his 
 pocket-book, and saved the cause, though at 
 an accidental cost of some five -and -twenty 
 pounds. The fault, however, was not mine: 
 for I had cautioned him by letter, as I always 
 do on such occasions, to bring with him every 
 scrap of paper that he possessed, and he told 
 me that he had done so. 
 
 These accidental "aggravations of expense," 
 (it is the best term I can invent for them,) are 
 not uncommon, after bestowing the utmost care 
 that foresight can suggest. A very similar in- 
 stance has occurred to my recollection whihi 
 writing the preceding one. It happened to me 
 during my clerkship, and is the more instruc- 
 tive, because it shows that even the discretion 
 of a clerk must sometimes be largely exercised 
 on the necessity of incurring extra costs. I 
 had been entrusted with the management of a 
 very important case, involving the interests of a 
 gi-eat commercial body, as well as the personal 
 character of some of its members holding high 
 rank in the city. In this, as in many cases, I 
 dare not be more particular. It was deemeil of 
 such couse(iueu('e to obtain a verdict, that the
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICl';. 81 
 
 witness on whose testinioiiy wc principally 
 relied, had been maintained in seclusion at a 
 country place two hundred miles from London, 
 for nearly two years, at an expense of £150 per 
 annum, till the case was ripe for trial. All this 
 time he was vigilantly watched, unknown to 
 himself. I dared not bring him to town till the 
 day but one before the trial ; but that was time 
 enough for mischief; he threw himself in the 
 way of one of the defendants, and the next 
 morning he was on his road to Calais. As 
 soon as I found that he was missing, I reported 
 the matter to Mr. Gurney, who on this occasion 
 also, was the leading counsel. It was one of 
 the many qualities of this distinguished advo- 
 cate, that he was not only in vtriimque, but in 
 quodcunque paratus. I was almost desperate 
 with disappointment; but while he felt the 
 embarrassment, he at once suggested the rem- 
 edy. The fellow -clerk of the rascal that had 
 absconded was almost equally familiar with the 
 facts we wished to prove, but, as we feared, still 
 less trustworthy, 
 
 " It's bad enough, Mr. Sharpe, bad enough, 
 certainly; but it can't be helped; subpoena 
 
 Wliite." 
 
 4*
 
 82 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 Away I started to subpoena Mr. White ; it 
 was still early in the day. This young man 
 was engaged in the counting-house of some 
 merchants in the city ; people in large business. 
 I rang the bell, and was answered by one of 
 the clerks. " Is Mr. White within ? " "I will 
 inquire, Sir." I waited nearly five minutes ; 
 and thinking that so simple a question might 
 have received a more speedy answer, I de- 
 termined to follow into the counting-house. It 
 was divided by railing into compounds. I 
 walked up to the railing of the nearest desk. 
 ■•' Is Mr. White within ? " 
 
 "ITo, Sir." 
 
 " When do you expect him ? " 
 
 " It is very uncertain." 
 
 " Where does he live ? " 
 
 "At Walworth." 
 
 " The street ? " 
 
 "I don't know, Sir." 
 
 During this parley I kept my eyes about me, 
 and observed that several of the clerks bent 
 their heads over their desks, while two or three 
 were obviously retaining laughter with some 
 diiJiculty. I effected to be considering what I 
 should do, while in reality I was counting the
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 83 
 
 clerks, and comparing their number with the 
 hats which I saw hung up against the walh 
 There was a hat too many, and a vacant desk. 
 " So ho ! " thought I to myself, " the seat is 
 still warm ; " for I was an old sportsman, while 
 yet a very young man ; " the game can't be 
 very far off," and then without more ceremony, 
 I opened the door of the compound, and seating 
 myself on the vacant stool, said I would leave 
 a note for him. I found the keys in the lock, 
 — an additional proof that my suspicions were 
 correct. Under pretense of looking for some 
 paper, on which to write my note, I opened the 
 desk; found in it, after tumbling over some 
 loose papers, a letter with his address at "Wal- 
 worth; and then, saying that I had changed 
 my mind as to writing, and would call again 
 in the evening, I quitted the house. I lost no 
 time in sending off a messenger express to 
 Dover, with a copy of the subpoena, and a des- 
 cription of his person, while I started myself 
 for AValworth, and arrived just ten minutes 
 after he had left it in a chaise for Dartford ! 
 His servant or his mfe, whichever it might be, 
 thinking him safely off, honestly confessed that 
 he had absconded to avoid service of the sub-
 
 84 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 poena, liaving long expected it ; he was actually 
 in tlie counting-house, when I had called there : 
 the clerk, who opened the door to me, detected 
 my business by a piece of red tape hanging out 
 of my pocket ; and whilst I was catechising the 
 others as to his residence, he had escaped by 
 another door, run home to get another hat and 
 bolted. But I was prepared : I had post-horses 
 waiting for me a hundred yards off: o^ot first 
 to Dartford ; subpoenaed him as he drove into 
 the yard ; brough t him back in the same chaise ; 
 and by his evidence, obtained a verdict the next 
 day, but certainly at no slight additional costs, 
 in the shape of traveling expenses! 
 
 The casualties of litigation are so numerous 
 and diversified, that it is utterly impossible, 
 unless in the simplest matter, to foretel the ex- 
 penses. The recent reforms in pleading, by 
 compelling a disclosure of the real defense, have 
 reduced, but not superseded the speculative 
 guesses of the attorney : indeed, in one respect, 
 they have added to the difficulty ; because, by 
 success on one issue, and failure on another, a 
 debtor and creditor account of costs is estab- 
 lished, the balance of which may, by possibility, 
 be against a plaintiif, though he has been sue-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 85 
 
 cessful on the general merits. It is a very 
 pleasant thing, no doubt, to have to tell your 
 client, " Oh yes, Sir ! we have succeeded for 
 you ; but instead of receiving costs, j^'ou will 
 have forty or fifty pounds to pay to your oppon- 
 ent." Independently of this, a hundred acci- 
 dents may occur, all tending to multiply costs. 
 A witness mav be ill, and the record must be 
 withdrawn ; a bill for discovery may be ad\*ised; 
 an injunction may be obtained by the defendant; 
 a cross action may be brought; indispensable 
 witnesses may have made a trip to Xaples or 
 Xew York, and must be examined on interrog- 
 atories; in a word, so many deviations may, 
 and generally do occur, that no prudent solici- 
 tor will ever insure his client against the 
 amount of costs, unless in the most general, 
 and therefore the most unsatisfactory way. 
 The right answer is, " If costs are an object, 
 settle your quarrel out of court, as best you 
 may : " and to clients themselves, I may ob- 
 serve, that if an attorney is disposed to be dis- 
 honest, no skill can avail them against over- 
 charges; for his charges may be individually 
 reasonable, and even low, but so needlessly 
 frequent, as to make the sum total of his bill
 
 86 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 notliing less than frauduleut, tliougii none Lut 
 a brother - attorney can detect the fraud. It is 
 often the case with mean and illiberal clients, 
 that they submit their attorney's bill to another 
 practitioner, unknown to him. Every solicitor 
 should be prepared for this ; for I have known 
 too many instances, where to curry favor with 
 a new acquaintance, or to acquire on easy terms 
 a credit for moderation, an attorney has pro- 
 nounced severe and mischievous judgment on 
 the costs of his respectable neighbor, though all 
 in the profession would rightly consign the 
 critic himself to the shades of Kewgate, as an 
 incorrigible thief. 
 
 How my unprofessional readers will stare (if 
 I chance to find any), when I remark that one 
 of the most difficult problems that an attorney 
 has to solve, is to what extent he may properly 
 miake any charge at all ! Yet I rejoice to say, 
 for it is to the credit of my profession, that with 
 the respectable members of it, this is frequently 
 a preplexing question. It occurs in many 
 ways ; the most common is this : — an old and 
 valuable client becomes acquainted with a case 
 of great hardship, and perhaps oppression, 
 involving legal points ; he calls on his attorney,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 87 
 
 and avowedly on benevolent impulse, asks his 
 opinion ; tlie opinion involves, as a matter of 
 course, inquiry into fact and evidence, for very 
 few clients understand the value of the one, or 
 detail the other with accuracy ; the sufferer is 
 sent to explain his grievance : it admits of re- 
 dress; the client liberally offers to indemnify 
 against disbursements ; the attorney can do no 
 less than waive profits ; and thus a suit is begun 
 gratuitously, partly from charitable feeling, yet 
 more from anxiety to oblige a client, and time 
 and labor are soon bestowed to a most incon- 
 venient extent. In a simple case like this, there 
 is no help for it : matters must proceed to an 
 end in the usual routine, and compensation 
 must be found in conscience ; but this simple 
 case admits of many variations, and then the 
 difficulty begins. The client may go no further 
 than just asking an opinion ; the opinion is, on 
 the whole, favorable; the injured pauper is not 
 poor enough to claim a pauper's privilege ; if 
 you desert him, you offend your client, who, 
 ignorant of the expense, as well as trouble that 
 the offer implies, expects you will spontaneously 
 take up the case ; partial success follows ; a 
 wrong-headed jury, — and nineteen out of
 
 88 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 twenty are wrong-headed, — give ten pounds 
 damages for a broken leg, when tlicy woukl 
 not have their own gouty toes trod upon 
 for fifty ; some thirty more are recovered for 
 taxed costs, and (the case has occurred to my- 
 self) after receiving these '■^ ixirty and party ^' 
 allowances, you remain more than twenty out 
 of pocket. You maj' gain a ^'crdict for your 
 pauper client, and swallow up all the fruits of 
 his triumph, even to repay extra costs out of 
 pocket ! Reason and equitj' would say in such 
 a case, that the attorney is excusable for pocket- 
 ing the damages, as well as the costs; yet 
 character and interest forbid it. It is a hard 
 case: but the attorney must relinquish all, 
 though successful ; and to retain the character 
 of a gentleman, must abandon, not only re- 
 muneration, but bare indemnity. The most 
 annoying of all causes that a man- can under- 
 take, is where he recovers damages, moderate 
 or temperate damages, as they are called, that 
 is to say, fifty pounds for the loss of an 
 eye, or thirty for the crippling of a limb, 
 for a humble client thrust upon him by a 
 wealthy patron, or adopted out of Christian 
 charity ! How often have I known jurymen
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 89 
 
 vaunt with self-complacency, of their justice, 
 when some poor devil has obtained from this 
 same justice, just enough to pay his surgeon's 
 bill, after having been disabled for life b}' a 
 drunken coachman, or a larking dandy; whiJe 
 the attorney, who has brought the action from 
 mere compassion, has had the pleasure of 
 hearinoj himself branded bv counsel, as a wretch 
 prowling about the streets for quarrels, and 
 obtains for his benevolence, taxed costs that 
 will just pay for coach -hire and a blue bag to 
 take his papers home ! I lament to add that I 
 never heard of counsel relinquishing fees for a 
 successful pauper ; though I have known many 
 in which the attorney of that pauper has been 
 left to pay such fees out of his own pocket. 
 
 There are other instances, where even among 
 the wealthy, good feeling prohibits an attorney 
 from asking costs. As a general rule, it may 
 be laid down that they never should be taken 
 from a charity purse. The retainer may be re- 
 fused : but if accepted, nothing can be claimed, 
 but money actually expended. Sometimes, 
 however, yet greater liberality should be shown. 
 It once fell to my lot to be consulted by a poor 
 clergyman, who enjoyed a small benefice in the
 
 90 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 country. In the plenitude of Christian good- 
 nature, he had hccome security to the extent of 
 £1000, for the good conduct of a worthless rela- 
 tive, whose only chance of reform appeared to 
 be in accepting a situation of some pecuniary 
 trust, which his friends had procured for him. 
 I never knew a case in which such good offices 
 worked out the object for which they were in- 
 tended; and so it happened here: the rascal 
 became possessed of a considerable sum, far ex- 
 ceeding the penalty of the bond, and absconded. 
 My client was immediately required to indeni- 
 nify the employers. He was conscious of no 
 defense, and utterly destitute of all means of 
 satisfying the demand, except by mortgaging 
 his living. His self- reproaches, for forgetting 
 what was due to his wife and infant famil}^ in 
 entering into such a bond, not unmingled with 
 painful misgivings whether he had acted hon- 
 estly even toward his opponents, in giving an 
 indemnity that he found he could not satisfy, 
 were enough to touch a miser's heart. I offii-- 
 cd my assistance: but here again the good man 
 hesitated, because "he could not pay me." I 
 re -assured him on this point, by declining pay- 
 ment, on the principle that professional aid
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 91 
 
 was all 1 had it iu 1113' power to give in too 
 many cases where I ought to be more liberal, 
 and therefore I made a compromise witli mv 
 conscience at times, by sacrificing six -and - 
 eightpence, and debiting charity with the 
 amount. He smiled at my quaint morality iu 
 book-keeping, and allowed me to investigate 
 his case; the rather, because there was too 
 much reason to fear that my tronl^Ie would 
 only extend to a little negoeiation for indul- 
 gence. I was too much interested in his case to 
 be niggardly in my exertions, and }>y dint of 
 close inquiry, I learned that the money which 
 the man had embezzled, was lu-ivate money, 
 not belonging to his employers collectively, but 
 entrusted to his charge by one of them on his 
 separate account. I had extreme difficulty in 
 obtaining evidence of this; but eventually 1 
 succeeded, and defeated the claim, or rather 
 compromised it on terms of abandoning all 
 costs. They amounted to nearly a hundre 1 
 pounds. Meanwhile, my reverend friend be- 
 came exposed to further difficulty, by having 
 the young family of a brother thrown upon his 
 hands, by that brother's premature decease. 
 Could a solicitor, under such circumstances,
 
 92 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 call on him for costs? or ought he to have 
 withheld his aid? I cannot answer these ques- 
 tions for others; hut I know many of my pro- 
 fession who would have followed the same 
 course as myself. Many similar instances 
 could be given; but I have said enough on the 
 subject. I will only add, that it is prudent to re- 
 linquish costs altogether, or to charge the usual 
 and reasonable fees. I never once knew a client 
 that gave one credit for a compromise.
 
 IN SEARCH or PRACTICE. 93 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 "Quo virtus, quo ferat error?" — Hob. 
 
 - Our doubts are traitors, 
 
 And make us lose the good we oft might win 
 
 By fearing to attempt." — Measure foe Measure. 
 
 The " timid " form a very unmanageable 
 class of clients. I think it was Dr. Johnson, 
 who compared plaintiff and defendant to two 
 men ducking their heads in a bucket, and dar- 
 ing each other to remain longest under water ; 
 but there are some who are so shy of the im- 
 mersion, that the very sight of the bucket 
 makes them faint. They may with more jus- 
 tice, be compared to a dentist's patient : a rack- 
 ing tooth -ache, of which he knows neither the 
 beginning nor the end, drives him to the sur- 
 geon ; but the bare mention of " extracting " 
 procures temporary ease — the sight of the 
 instrument completes the cure. " I feel better 
 already. Sir : the tooth may be serviceable still :
 
 94 ADVENTUliES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 I'll call agaiu to-morrow." The twitch re- 
 turns; but he prefers pain to mutilation, and 
 endures till the nerve grows callous. In like 
 manner, I have often found clients, especially 
 after one severe operation, submit to wrong, 
 injury, and fraud of no trilling amount in the 
 annual rests in their ledger, rather than avail 
 themselves of their solicitor's aid, to establish a 
 protecting principle in their dealings, or make 
 an example of an habitual depredator. As my 
 practice extended I met many characters of this 
 class : they try one's patience to the utmost. 
 One morning I was intent on a voluminous 
 abstract studiously prepared, so as to envelope 
 in mystery the title it professed to expose. I 
 had already perused it twice to no purpose ; and 
 beginning to doubt whether my own stupidity, 
 or the conveyancer's knavery, was the cause of 
 all the obscurity, I had manfully resolved on a 
 third perusal, while the subject was fresh on 
 my mind ; when in walked Messrs. Simkin and 
 Soft, extensive traders in Cheapside. 
 
 " This is Mr. Soft, my partner, Mr. Sharpe : 
 my own name is Simkin." 
 
 I bowed, handed them chairs, poked the fire, 
 and asked their business.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 95 
 
 " You see, Mr. Sharpe," began Simkin, " we 
 are in an unpleasant affair; and your friends, 
 Messrs. Wilson and Co., having recommended 
 us to you, we wish to explain that — " 
 
 " Now, my dear Simkin, you should begin at 
 the beginning," interrupted Soft ; "Mr. Simkin 
 should have told you. Sir, that for many years 
 past we have carried on the business of — " 
 
 "Excuse me, Soft: we did not begin that 
 business till 1811 ; but I will take it up from 
 the very commencement. I will begin at the 
 beginning, as Soft says. In the year 1808, we 
 were engaged in an adventure — " 
 
 " Indeed, Simkin, you are wrong; I was not 
 in the firm in 1808 ; and besides, that adventure 
 had nothing to do with it ! " 
 
 " I am not going to speak about the wools, 
 Soft." 
 
 " Well, you know best, Simkin ; but unless 
 you tell how it has all happened, I am sure Mr. 
 Sharpe will not understand our case : but tell 
 it your own way." 
 
 " Thank ye. Soft ; you're always a kind 
 fellow. So, Mr. Sharpe, as I was saying, in 
 the year 1808, w^e first became acquainted with 
 Shycoeke. 
 
 ?5
 
 96 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 " ISTo, indeed, Simkiii : I must interrupt you 
 there ; for you are quite out. Shycocke arrived 
 at Bristol, in the Twin Brothers, as supercargo, 
 in June, 1809." 
 
 "I believe you're right, Soft: you always 
 are. Yes: Shycocke arrived in 1809, with 
 letters of credit from Puncheon, Lees, and Co." 
 
 " They were the shippers, Simkin." 
 
 " They were : do you remember the captain's 
 name? " 
 
 " I think it was Hobbs." 
 
 " Surely not : wasn't it Dobson ? ' 
 
 " Hobbs or Dobbs, I'm pretty sure." 
 
 I saw no end to this, and took the liberty of 
 edging in a word. 
 
 " Pray, gentleman, has Mr. Dobbs, or Hobbs, 
 anything to do with your present embarrass- 
 ment ? " 
 
 "Embarrassment, Mr. Sharpe!" exclaimed 
 Soft. 
 
 ".Did you say embarrassed?" asked Sim- 
 kin. 
 
 " We are by no means embarrassed. Sir ! '* 
 indignantly cried both together. 
 
 "You mistake me; I thought you spoke of 
 some unpleasant aftair."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 97 
 
 "Yes," said Simkin : " and a very unpleasant 
 affair it is: isn't it, Soft?" 
 
 "It is indeed; and one we arc by no means 
 used to — " answered the partner. 
 
 "Pray, what is it, gentlemen ?" and this plain 
 question, rather abruptly put, surprised them 
 into a plain answer. 
 
 " An attorney's letter," replied Simkin, in a 
 most lugubrious tone. 
 
 " It is indeed," hysterically added Soft; "it 
 is an attorney's letter, begging your pardon, 
 Mr. Sharpe." 
 
 " Well, gentlemen, there is no great harm in 
 that: here is a score of them (pointing to my 
 desk), and you might eat them for any harm 
 they would do you. Let me read it." 
 
 Mr. Simkin drew out his pocket-book, ^vith 
 as much solemnity as I have seen a reverend 
 antiquarian produce a venerable Hebrew manu- 
 script, and unfolded its various clasps, with the 
 same gra^dty that the said antiquarian would 
 slowly unroll the interminable vellum from its 
 silver rollers ; while poor Soft eyed the pro- 
 ceeding with a fixedness of gaze, that argued 
 intense horror of the contents. I could scarcely 
 
 forbear laughing outright at the a'^vful delibera- 
 6
 
 98 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 tion with which, the letter of Messrs. Snappit 
 and Smart was submitted to my inspection. 
 
 " Eead it, Mr. Sharpe," said Simkin, with 
 impressive dignity. 
 
 " Only read it, Sir," echoed Soft, with trem- 
 bling eagerness. 
 
 I obeyed. 
 
 " Manchester, Januarg 21, 1827. 
 Gentlemen, 
 
 We are peremptorily instructed by our 
 respectable clients, Messrs. Lomax and Co., of 
 this place, to demand payment of the sum of 
 £11^. 5.S. 2(i., being the invoice price of the 
 cottons consigned to your house at New York, 
 in the month of May, 1825 ; and to inform you 
 that unless the same is fortliAvith paid, together 
 with 6s. 8(i. for the costs of the application, we 
 shall proceed against you, without further 
 notice. 
 
 We are. Gentlemen, 
 
 Your obedient servants, 
 
 Snappit & Smart." 
 
 "X173. 5s. 2d., Mr. Sharpe!" 
 "Together with six-and-eightpence, Mr. 
 Sharpe ! ! "
 
 TN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 99 
 
 " Forthwith, Sir ! what do you say to that? " 
 " And without further notice, too ! " half 
 sobbed out Soft. 
 
 "Well but, gentlemen, I suppose you pur- 
 chased the cottons ? " 
 
 "Did ?rc buy them. Soft?" 
 " I think not indeed, my dear Simpkin." 
 " Then who did ? were they bought at all ? " 
 " There it is, Mr. Sharpe I there it is ! " 
 " There is wdiere the shoe pinches, Sir ! " 
 "It's all along of that rascal Sh^'cocke. I 
 was coming to him, when Soft interrupted me." 
 "Ay : 'tis all his doing, Simkin." 
 I foresaw another duet ; but beo'inning to 
 understand my new friends, I perceived that 
 the only way to cut short the matter, was to 
 cross-examine them for myself; and soon 
 arrived at the simple fiict, that this Shycocke 
 was a great rogue, that had been carying on 
 trade on his own account, but in the name of 
 his employers, who had placed their foreign 
 establishment at Xew York entirely under his 
 care. But here was the difficulty : they had 
 rashly confided to this agent powers so ample, 
 that it was scarcely possible to contend that 
 the goods had been supplied on Ms credit, and
 
 100 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 not tlieir own ; while to recognize Ms agency 
 on this occasion, by adopting a contract tliat 
 he was not empowered to make, exposed them 
 to simihir demands, the extent of which could 
 not even be guessed at. In this dilemma, I of 
 course advised the bolder course of resisting 
 the first application, even at the risk of costs. 
 
 " Well, Mr. Sharpe, I understand all you 
 eay ; heigh-ho! I understand, — diddled either 
 way ; but I can't help thinking it best to pay 
 the money." 
 
 " Sad job ; but first loss is the least ! " sorrow- 
 fully ejaculated Soft. 
 
 " Very true, Mr. Soft, if you can be sure that 
 it is the last as well as the first." 
 
 " What did you say the costs would be, Sir ? " 
 
 " I told you I did not know, Mr. Simkin : 
 we must examine evidence in America." 
 
 " Evidence in America ! oh dear, oh dear ! " 
 
 " I think. Soft, you had better go to N"ew 
 York. Won't that do, Mr. Sharpe ? " 
 
 "Me go to New York! bless me, Simkin, 
 what do you mean ? " 
 
 '*It would be a pleasant trip, Mr. Soft." 
 
 "Pleasant trip, Sir! la, Sir! do you know 
 what it would cost ? "
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 101 
 
 " Can't you do without evidence, Mr. 
 Sharpe?" [coaxinghi.) ' •' '.' ^ v . 
 
 "It is just possible that, we nHcfht ;cbjitri,ve' 
 by a fishing bill in Chancery — " 
 
 " Chancery ! " groaned Simkin. 
 
 " Chancery ! " screamed Soft. " Throw us 
 into Chancery ! Heaven have mercy on us ! "We 
 had better pay the money, and have done with 
 it, Simkin." 
 
 " I'd rather pay it ten times over," replied his 
 partner, " than get my head into Chancery. 
 How can you talk so, Mr. Sharpe ? but I see 
 you were only joking." 
 
 " Indeed I never joke on serious business; " 
 a great lie by the way, for which my conscience 
 pricked me; for I always joke where I can: 
 but this was clearly no fitting occasion, as I 
 seemed as certain of losing my clients, as they 
 were of losing their money ; so I put a grave 
 face on the matter, and continued, 
 
 " It does not cost much to file a bill in Chan- 
 cery, and compel an answer." 
 
 "You'll not make me believe that. Sir, verv 
 easily; there's my poor brother's orphans have 
 been in Chancery these twel"^e years, poor 
 things ! and all their little fortune as safely
 
 102 ADVENTUllES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 unK^r. lock and kej-.as if buried in their father's 
 
 gra^e.*' 
 
 .;/. pAxi^'. i too couid .tell a dismal story like 
 that, couldn't I, Simkin? Oh dear me, I 
 little thought how this unhappy business 
 would end ! my poor dear children ! we 
 shall all get into Chancery, I see that, if we 
 don't pay the money, Simkin." 
 
 "But surely, Mr. Sharpe, you can tell us 
 what the Chancery will cost, as you say it is 
 not much ? " 
 
 " Oh, dear Mr. Simldn, good Mr. Simkin, 
 
 do pay the money, and think no more about it? " 
 
 "iTonscnse, Soft! for shame. Soft! do act 
 
 like a man! What will it cost, Mr. Sharpe, 
 
 this Chancery business ? " 
 
 " The bill would be very short, but as their 
 answer might be long, and you would, of 
 course, have to pay their costs too, it may — " 
 "Pay their costs too ! " 
 
 "Wliat! Messrs. Snappit's and Smart's 
 costs! Then I've done with it, Mr. Sharpe; 
 I've done with it; that's flat: I'll run all 
 risks; I'll sec them hanged first!'' 
 
 "Yes, we'll run all risks, Mr. Sharpe: 
 thank'ye, Simkin, you are always the wisest
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. lOo 
 
 man, I know. Very sorry we have taken up 
 so much of vour time, Sir. "What do we 
 owe you. Sir? Pray let's go, Sirakin : k't's go at 
 once. You'll send in your little hill, Mr, Sharpe, 
 for tliis morning's advice. Good day. Sir." 
 
 And away went the silly pair, each afraid 
 lest a longer stay should con^nnce the other 
 of his folly. They paid the demand : in the 
 course of the year they settled a similar claim 
 for nearly two hundred more : and in the year 
 following they liquidated divers otlier debts 
 of Mr. Shycocke, amounting in the whole to 
 about £1,500 ; all of which might have been 
 saved by resolute defiance in Jxmnc. 
 
 This same moral cowardice displays itself in 
 a hundred ways, even in men other^dse clear- 
 headed and strong-minded: a paroxysm of 
 fear at the mention of the Court of Chancerv 
 does not much surprise one. That unlucky 
 tribunal labors under so much obloquy both 
 merited and unmerited, that facilis decensm 
 Averni is retorted on you by every client to 
 whom you speak of equity; and not without 
 reason. I once came into a suit that had 
 survived three solicitors, two generations of 
 clients, three chancellors, (Lord Eldon inter
 
 104 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 alios) and more tliau half the masters. It 
 fairly promised an annuity to my grandchil- 
 dren; but like a conscientious fool as I was, 
 I compromised it in the second year of my 
 acquaintance with its very peculiar merits, and 
 saved £2,000 out of the fire for somebody, 
 though many a year passed over before we 
 could discover who the " somebody " was ! 
 The Court of Chancery, however, though bad 
 enough in all consc'ience, is not the only bug- 
 bear that frightens clients. 
 
 "I have been swindled, Mr. Sharpe, out of 
 five hundred pounds I '' exclaimed my friend 
 "Wyatt, on entering my office, 
 
 "I am extremely sorry to hear it: how has 
 it happened ? " 
 
 "The old story — a friend wanted money — 
 not convenient to lend it — my name would do 
 — gave him my acceptance — proved a greater 
 ass than myself — a Jew l)roker has discounted 
 it by bolting." 
 
 "A bad case, certainly. Have you any clue 
 to the rascal's retreat ? ' " 
 
 "Don't know — might be found perhaps — 
 what then? Find him at one end of the 
 world, and the bill at the other ! "
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 105 
 
 " Come, come, you jump too fast and too 
 far. What date is the bill ? " 
 
 " Six months." 
 
 "Well, you have a chance yet; your credit 
 is good; but even with you, a bill for X500 
 at six months will wander about some time 
 before it finds a home. "When did it hap- 
 pen?" 
 
 "Yesterday." 
 
 "Then give me the names, and I'll find the 
 paper." 
 
 " Can't get it back, if you do 
 
 "Ifot without paying a trifle 
 
 " How will you manage ? " 
 
 " Leave that to me." 
 
 He was content to do so, and furnished me 
 with all particulars. I happened at that time 
 to have a friend in the Bench. Friends of this 
 sort are a great nuisance ; but there are times 
 when they can do good service. I soon learned 
 through him, the names of the whole gang 
 with which the broker was connected; and 
 was not long in discovering the holder of the 
 bill — an innocent, bona fide holder, of course. 
 A negotiation was commenced, but £200 was 
 
 the least he would take, and exactly four 
 
 5*
 
 106 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 times more than I was disposed to give. My 
 client called on me tlie followino- morning. 
 
 " So, Sharpe, you have found the bill ? " 
 
 "Yes, for £200." 
 
 "Pay it with all my heart." 
 
 " You shall do no such thing." 
 
 " Can't help myself — must pay — no choice." 
 
 "You must show fight." 
 
 "Show fiddlesticks — neither fio-ht nor law 
 for me — rather lose the £500, and £500 to the 
 tail of that ! " 
 
 " You called yourself a'- ass yesterday; you'll 
 prove yourself the prince of asses to-daj-, if 
 you pay the money." 
 
 "What can I do?" 
 
 " I have alreadv taken out ^ summons for 
 the fellow to account for his porj^wion of the 
 bill." 
 
 " Summons ! — magistrate ! — Bow Street ! — 
 police report ! — Times paper ! — explanations ! 
 — advertisements! ISTo, no, no! I'll see you 
 and the bill at Old Nick, ere I run this gaunt- 
 let: pay the mon(!y, and have done ^vith it. 
 Here's the check! " [sitting down to icritc it.) 
 
 I reasoned and expostulated, but in vain. I 
 felt the question of credit was something,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PR ACT PC K. 107 
 
 though he was not iu trade; but two hundred 
 pound.s was far too large a sacrifice for mere 
 credit's sake with him. I shook his resohi- 
 tion for a minute, by setting one fear against 
 another. 
 
 "What will Mrs. Vi'jatt say to such folly?" 
 "Yes — sure enough — somethmg in that; but 
 {after a pause) she shan't know it." 
 
 ""Why, you have told her already, haven't 
 you?" 
 
 " Not exactly — rather afraid — least said soon- 
 est mended — ought to tell her though — sure to 
 find it out — but those infernal police reports — 
 she'll go mad, that's certain — no peace for a 
 twelvemonth. I'll pay the money, so take it." 
 I had no alternative; but I resolved to do 
 my best. I summoned the man in defiance 
 of my client; and had he had courage enough 
 to face the matter, I should have got back the 
 bill for nothing, or at least have impounded 
 it safely. He got ofi" better than he deserved, 
 for just before the hour of attendance, I re- 
 ceived an anonymous letter, offering to return 
 the bill for a hundred. I replied that I would 
 give fifty; and at the police -oflElce door, the 
 bill was put into one hand, while I gave a
 
 108 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 £50 note witli tbo other! My hare -hearted 
 client was a liberal one, however, thono'h odd- 
 tempered : he pressed on me a fee of the same 
 amount, and because I peremptorily declined 
 it, quarrelled with me for a year ! I cared 
 little for this, knowing that his good sense 
 would eventuallv brine; him round ; as it did : 
 when he honestly told me that he had taken 
 the next dilemma in which he found himself, 
 to our mutual friend, Mr. Lowestoff, because 
 I was " too proud to be paid for my trouble ! " 
 Some men show their timiditj' in a far more 
 reprehensible form, and instead of honestly 
 ti'usting the attorney whom they affect to con- 
 sult, are laying traps for him, to measure his 
 skill or his integrit3\ I was often exposed to 
 this low-minded cunnino- in mv earlier davs, 
 though now that T feel fti-mly seated in my 
 chair of state, I should be sorely tempted to 
 kick such fellows out of my office. On the 
 whole, I incline to recommend this as the wisest 
 course to pursue at all times, however scantily 
 filled our attendance -books may be. A trader 
 in a very' extensive business called on me on one 
 occasion, telling mc that he wished me to pre- 
 pare a new agreement with one of his commis-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 109 
 
 sion - travelers, and he produced the old one, as 
 mj instructions. He was not an habitual client, 
 but one of those sneaking fellows that if they 
 meet you by accident,' always have a legal point 
 on which to catechize you, without the fear of 
 fees before their eyes. They pin you up in the 
 corner of a drawing-room, or edge in their chair 
 next to yours at the dinner -table, to tell a long 
 cock-and-bull story about a stray parcel; or 
 sometimes they cross you in the street, seize you 
 by the button, and incarcerate you in the door- 
 way of a pastry-cook, till they have run 
 through the pedigree of their great grand- 
 mothers, as preliminary to a "just tell me what 
 you think " of their right to a lapsed legacy of 
 tifty pounds, " supposed to have been left by 
 the fourth cousin of an uncle's aunt, who died six 
 months ago." My client belonged to this class. 
 
 " If you see no objection to this agreement, 
 Mr. Sharpe, I want a new one on the same 
 model; as you see the time here mentioned is 
 expired." 
 
 "I see no objection to it (hastily glancing it 
 over) : it is somewhat vaguely expressed, but if 
 you have understood each other so long, it is 
 best not to alter it."
 
 110 ADVENTURES 0¥ AN ATTOHNKY 
 
 " It's all right tlieu, in point of law ? " 
 
 " Yes : except that it is anstaiiiped ; but that 
 is of little consecpience : when do you want the 
 new^ draft ? Before I prepare it, it would be 
 better to see your traveller on the subject." 
 
 "Oh, he is out of town, and I am in no 
 hurry! If you will just sign your name to 
 this old agreement, as being free from any legal 
 objection, that will satisfy him, and save 
 trouble." 
 
 I thought the request an odd one; but hav- 
 ing had frequent experience of the paltry econ- 
 omy of the man, I concluded that his only 
 object was to save expense, by inducing his 
 traveller to abide by my opinion, without the 
 formal discussion and settling of a new instru- 
 ment. I therefore wrote on the agreement a 
 sort of certificate, that I saw no legal objection 
 to the agreement, and he took it away with 
 him. The next day explained the whole trans- 
 action. Two attorneys called on me, nearly at 
 the same time. We were all well acquainted. 
 Mr. Stubbs entered first. 
 
 " On my word, Sharpe, 1 am much obliged 
 to you." 
 
 "What's the matter?"
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. Ill 
 
 "For telling ]\Ir. Crewkman that I am a con- 
 summate fool." 
 
 " Telling him yon are a fool I I told him no 
 such thing : what have you to do with Crewk- 
 man?" and before the question could be an- 
 swered, in rushed Mr. Hobbs. 
 
 " Sharpe, I've a crow to pick with you ! 
 Stubbs, glad you are here; I am sure you'll 
 not countenance such dirty practice ! " 
 
 "Hoity-toity, my good friends! what ails 
 you both ? " 
 
 "You are a prett)- fellow to ask, after trying 
 to cheat my poor client out of his cause and his 
 senses also ! " 
 
 " "What, is Crewkman your client, too ? " 
 
 " My client ! no indeed : nor did I dream 
 that he was yours, till yesterday." 
 
 " Then he is your client, Sharpe ? " said 
 Stubbs. "Well, I am readv enouo;h to hand 
 over his papers, as soon as you get the order; 
 but I must say it is shabby work to rob one of 
 his clients by such low artifice as this." 
 
 I was all amazement. " Let us talk without 
 prejudice, gentlemen, and we shall understand 
 each other : at present, it is clear we are all in 
 the dark."
 
 112 /ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 The certificate signed by me, the day before, 
 was produced by Stubbs. I admitted it to be 
 mine, and explained the circumstances under 
 which I arave it. It seems that Crewkman and 
 his traveller were involved in litigation, on this 
 very agreement : the one contended that it 
 amounted to a partnership, and claimed an 
 account of profits : Crewkman denied the part- 
 nership. Stubbs had advised him that he 
 was wrong, and recommended a compromise. 
 Distrusting Stubbs, he had come to ask my 
 opinion, without ever calling my attention to 
 the real point at issue. He took the opinion to 
 Stubbs to challenge him with ignorance ; and 
 then to his traveller, to impress on him the 
 hopelessness of his suit, and work him into a 
 compromise. I do not now recollect how the 
 matter terminated. 
 
 I have often known this underhanded dcaUng 
 practiced by men who think themselves wiser 
 than their solicitors; and in most cases, they 
 bring their own punishment, in getting con- 
 flicting advice, by submitting one state of facts 
 to one attorney, and another to another; un- 
 conscious themselves of the importance of 
 minute accuracy, they report these contradic-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 113 
 
 tory opinions to their friends, ns edifying illns- 
 trations of the " glorious uncertainty of tlie 
 law! " There is, however, another less fre(|Uont, 
 but more galling way of testing their adviser's 
 judgment; more galling, because it implies a 
 doubt of his honesty of purpose. I have had 
 a client consulting me very gravely on his case, 
 and after I had given it the closest attention, 
 and reluctantly told him that I thought him 
 wrong, he has fairly turned on me, with the 
 laughing avowal that he had deceived me, and 
 reversed his position, being the intended plain- 
 tiff, and not defendant, in the matter ; that he 
 wanted to be sure that he was right, and had 
 therefore misrepresented his position in the 
 dispute ! A cautious man will not always, nor 
 often suspect, but he will always be prepared 
 againts traps laid for him by his own client. 
 
 The mention of this habit of appealing from 
 one solicitor to another, wiithout fairly appris- 
 ing either party of the fact, recalls to my mind 
 an atRiir of earlier days that mav teach mv read- 
 ers to avoid, as much as possible, another class 
 of clients whom I shall designate as the indis- 
 creet. In a certain sense, all clients except 
 those who come to you on " preventive duty,"
 
 114 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 to he protected against anticipated risk, are 
 indiscreet; and it is to repair their indiscre- 
 tion, that your aid is wanted : hut there are 
 some instances, in which it is difficult for an 
 attorney, at least a very young one, to avoid 
 involving himself in the folly of his client; any 
 man, however, might innocently have got into 
 the following scrape, whether professional oi- 
 not.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 115 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 "Quomodo ergo id quod fit creco casu tt voluljilitate fortunae 
 prffisentiri potestY" — Cic. de Div. 
 
 While my thoughts were yet but little occu- 
 pied with the cares of business (and alas ! I was 
 full thirty ere business had much to do with 
 them), I used to ramble about at parties and 
 soirees, in the certainty of finding amusement, 
 if I did not find clients. On one of these oc- 
 casions, I fell into company with a very agree- 
 able lady of four -and -twenty. I knew that 
 she was engaged, and shortly to be married : 
 hence love had nothing to do with it; but I 
 played the agreeable so delightfully, that the 
 fair creature, knowing I was a "lawyer," as 
 they are all pleased to call us, told me she 
 wanted to consult me about her affairs. It is 
 of little use preaching about it ; I am going to 
 read a very instructive lesson; and yet I am
 
 116 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 quite certain that there is not one of my readers 
 to be found, under seven or eight -and -twenty, 
 ■who will not as assuredly as I did, fall into the 
 same error, if he has the opportunity. She 
 declared that she was serious ; it is quite im- 
 possible to advise while one is waltzing — tlie 
 head is too giddy, to say nothing of other en- 
 chantments ; so I invited her to call on me the 
 following day. She came, chaperoned by the 
 lady at whose house she was staying, and who 
 was as young and yet prettier than herself. I 
 must give her name a norm de guerre, and I will 
 (.all her Mrs. Chartres, My fair client's object 
 was bona lidc to ask me her own position in 
 respect of some proceedings in an amicable suit, 
 in which all her family were involved, but 
 which as they supposed, was conducted by the 
 family solicitor with somewhat less activity 
 than was desirable. I think she called on me 
 twice after this. It is very iiuuiy years ago, 
 and I cannot exactly remember how many 
 times we met; but it was sufficiently often to 
 make me familiar ^^■ith the nature and position 
 of her property. About six weeks after our 
 first interview, I received a very singular note 
 from her. She resided ten miles from town,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 117 
 
 and she wrote to request that I would ride over 
 to see her the following day at three o'clock, to 
 advise her on urgent business. There was so far 
 nothing extraordinary ; but the note concluded 
 with saying, that her mother's house was so 
 full of friends, that she could not hope to talk 
 with me there, with any convenience, but she 
 would call on me at the inn in the town I I 
 hesitated long before I could decide on the 
 proper course to take ; but as the word " urgent " 
 was twice underlined, it seemed cruel to refuse ; 
 and notwithstanding she had imposed confi- 
 dence on me, I determined to call en our 
 mutual friend, Mrs. Chartres, and consult her. 
 I showed her the letter. " You need not enter- 
 tain any doubt on the case," said Mrs. Char- 
 tres : "I know that her lover has had a quarrel 
 with the mother, and the marriage has been 
 put off; she wants you to be the mediator." 
 "Very well; but I think her lover would 
 scarcely like this stolen interview at an inn, 
 nevertheless; will you go with me?" "With 
 all my heart ; " and we ordered our horses : both 
 her horses and mine were at livery at the same 
 stables. " "We have a few friends to dine with 
 us at five; will you join us at dinner?" I
 
 118 ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 
 
 accepted her invitation. Thinking it might 
 occasion some tattling below stairs, at our 
 friend's expense, Mrs. Chartres would not take 
 her groom, though he had always attended us 
 in our rides, which were not unfrequent. When 
 we arrived at the inn at * * * * ^^ the young- 
 lady was not there. We waited nearly an hour; 
 and began to feel uneasy, when the damsel 
 appeared. 
 
 " Bless me, Sophia ! what a figure you have 
 made of yourself!" exclaimed Mrs. Chartres. 
 " One would think you had got all your ward- 
 robe on your back ! " 
 
 " So I have, except a trunk that I have had 
 smuggled here ! " 
 
 " What is it all about ! where are you going ! " 
 
 " I am going off! " 
 
 "Where? when?" 
 
 " To Yorkshire — to-night! " 
 
 "Not with me, I presume, Miss Dan vers ? " 
 I asked, half laughing, but really uneasy. 
 
 " No, Mr. Sliarpe; not all the way; but I do 
 want you to put me in the mail." 
 
 " And why did not Mr. Douglas meet you 
 himself?" 
 
 " Because he is watched at every step."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 119 
 
 " Was this then, the ' urgent ' affair you 
 wanted me to advise in ? " 
 
 " Not altogether ; Mr. Douglas wished you 
 to prepare something for me in the way of 
 settlement, to take with me, for we shall be 
 married the day after to-morrow." 
 
 " Your mother of course knows nothing of 
 this frolic. I hope you have left a letter for 
 her?" 
 
 " No, I have not ; she went yesterday to my 
 aunt's, at Croydon," 
 
 Both Mrs. Chartres and I exerted all our 
 powers to divert her from her purpose, but in 
 vuin : she had ordered a chaise, and it was at 
 the door; we continued arguing with her for 
 about an hour, and the most we could obtain 
 from her was to leave a letter for her mother, 
 which nearly another hour was spent in pre- 
 paring . the next point was, whether it was 
 right to accompany her to the coach ! It was 
 already six o'clock, and the spring not far ad- 
 vanced; consequently it was growing dark, 
 and would be quite so by the time she reached 
 London. I could not allow Mrs. Chartres to 
 ride home, a distance of ten miles, unattended; 
 but the good-natured girl put an end to the
 
 120 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 difficulty, by saying she would accompany us 
 in the chaise. I therefore sent our horses back 
 to their stables by the ostler of the inn, with a 
 verbal message, which the blockhead forgot. 
 We arrived just in time to secure the only re- 
 maining place inside the York mail, and giving 
 Miss Danvers a few hurried lines to Mr. Douii- 
 las, to suggest the sort of prenuptial agreement 
 it would be right to make, we took our leave 
 of her. Some accidents impeded their marriage 
 for a short time, but it soon took place, and I 
 believe it proved a happy one. 
 
 l!Tow, however, came the fun of the affair. 
 So intent had both of us been on the discussion 
 with Miss Danvers, and so absorbed by the 
 interest we felt in her strange position, that 
 Mrs. Chartres and I had alike forgotton the 
 dinner, the party, the time, and every thing 
 else. Meanwhile a curious scene was acting in 
 Bryanstone Square. Four o'clock came. 
 " Where is your mistress, Anne? " 
 " She is gone out for a ride, Sir." 
 " When did she say she would return ? " 
 " She only told me in good time to dress, 
 Sir." 
 
 " Who was with her ? "
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 121 
 
 "Mr. Sliarpe, Sir." 
 
 Half- past four! 
 
 " Is Mrs. Cliartres eome home ? " 
 
 "No, Sir." 
 
 " Yerv careless ! did John q-q with her? " ' 
 
 "m, Sir." 
 
 " Verv strano-e!" 
 
 Five o'clock, and no Mrs. Chartres ! Half 
 past five! Tliere were Mrs. Langston, and 
 Miss Langston, and Mr. Henderson, and the 
 two Miss Dixons, and the Rev. Doctor, and 
 half-a-dozen besides; all simpering and all 
 wondering, and all divided between cnriositv 
 and hunger, with sundry good-natured sug- 
 gestions, and explanations, and sympathizing 
 consolations; some would wait half- an -horn- 
 longer, and some would order up dinner; for 
 "dear Mrs. Chartres would be so distressed;" 
 while the poor husband smiled and giggled 
 it off; and Mr. Chetwyn, her fiither, who 
 began to susj^ect it was no jest at all, "didn't 
 likt such jesting, and ramlding about after 
 dark ; and dinner spoilt while that brainless 
 young Sharpe was leading his daughter scamp- 
 ering about the country, etc., etc. : if I were 
 
 you, Tom, I would lock her up whenever that 
 6
 
 122 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 scape -grace turned his horse's head this way." 
 This was giving so pointed a turn to the aifair, 
 that hy way of closing the discussion Chartrcs 
 ordered up the dinner, and handed down the 
 ladies ; hut matters hegan to he uncomfortahlc, 
 and Chartres soon made them worse hy sud- 
 denly exclaiming, as the clock struck seven : 
 
 "I see how it is! they have had an acci- 
 dent : and running to the hell, ordered John 
 to go instantly to the stables and inquire if 
 the horses had been sent home, while the other 
 servant brought a chaise to the door to be 
 promptly ready to go in search of the sufferers. 
 
 "It must be so! dear Mr. Chartres, now 
 don't distress yourself, pray don't." 
 
 " That we should never liave thought of this 
 sooner ! " 
 
 "Poor dear Mrs. Cliartres, what she must 
 Buffer ! " 
 
 " Well, I hope she has not broken her leg ! " 
 
 " ISTow be composed, Mr. Chartres, all will 
 be well!" 
 
 '* Had you not better send for Mr. Brod'u , 
 immediately?" 
 
 And half a hundred similar speeches ^^■(■l^• 
 simultaneously poured forth by all their sweet
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 123 
 
 voices united; Cliartres striding from Lis chair 
 to the window, and back to his chair, and 
 Chetwyn sitting silent, till he groaned out, 
 " That's the onlv word of sense that's said : 
 send for Brodie, directly." In the midst of 
 the hubbub re-entered John. 
 
 " Are the horses come back?"' thundered out 
 Chartres. 
 
 "Yes, Sir." 
 
 '* Oh la ! and is she killed ? where is she 
 hurt ? get her bed ready, and call Anne," etc., 
 etc., etc., while John stood mute, but with a 
 sort of half - repressed grin on his face, that 
 at once dispelled immediah alarm about her 
 safety. 
 
 "Are the horses hurt ?" asked Chartres. 
 
 "No, Sir." 
 
 "Who brought them ?" 
 
 "The ostler at ***** *.» 
 
 "Any message ?" 
 
 "No, Sir." 
 
 "Did you ask the man ?" 
 
 "Yes, Sir.' 
 
 "Don't stand twisting your mouth that way, 
 blockhead, with your 'yes' and 'no ! ' Tell us 
 what passed."
 
 1^4 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " The man said, Sir, as how mistress and 
 Mr. Sharpe — " [pausing.) 
 
 "Speak out, Sir;" shouted Chartres. 
 
 " Gone off, Sir, in a Dartford chaise." 
 
 "Impossible !" groaned Chetwyn. 
 
 "Oh la!" "oh dear!'- "how shocking!" 
 "how very odd!" "how sad an event!" 
 screamed Miss Langston, and Mrs. Langston, 
 and the two Miss Dixons, in every variety of 
 intonation. 
 
 " Awfully wicked ! " observed the Rev. Doc- 
 tor, deliberately exhausting a glass of port. 
 
 " Order four horses to the chaise at the door! 
 Henderson, you'll accompany me — Dover 
 Road! do you hear there?" and so saying 
 ('liartres left the room ; mounted the flight of 
 stairs in a hop, step, and jump; hurried on a 
 great coat ; and was equipped for Calais in less 
 than ten minutes. Meanwhile the ladies hysteri- 
 cised, and fainted, and ran this way and the 
 other way, as ladies will do on such occasions ; 
 and the ladies' maids chattered, and comforted, 
 and cloaked as fast as they could ; while harts- 
 horn, and sal volatile, and burnt feathers, were 
 poured and scattered here and there, and the 
 whole house one Babel of confusion ; not one
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 125 
 
 of the party dreaming of going, in spite of 
 preparation for it, Avliile a chance remained 
 of gleaning more food for curiosity and scan- 
 dal 
 
 The hubbub had scarcely at all subsided, when 
 a loud rap at the door announced a visitor. 
 "Not at home!" exclaimed Mr. Chetwyn, to 
 prevent intrusion at such an unseasonable hour : 
 but the mandate was unheeded in the general 
 confusion below stairs. The ladies hearing 
 footsteps ascending resumed their chairs, with 
 as much calmness as they could muster. The 
 door opened; and in walked Mrs. Cliartres, 
 more radiant with smiles than ever, though not 
 a little surprised at the strange chaos which 
 seemed to reign ; while I followed close behind 
 her, as cheerful and composed as if nothing had 
 occurred to disturb me. 
 
 " Very extraordinary, Mrs. Chartres ! very 
 strange conduct this, Mr. Sharpe ! " said her 
 husband sternly. 
 
 " Where the devil have you been ? " cried her 
 father. 
 
 " Dear Mrs. Chartres ! " exclaimed all the 
 ladies at once. 
 
 " Chartres," I said, " your vnfe is tired :
 
 126 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 take her up stairs, and slie'll give you a good 
 hour's laugh : " for though this denouement had 
 never ouce occurred to either of us during the 
 whole of the busy scene in which we had been 
 engaged, I saw, by a glance of the eye, what it 
 all meant. 
 
 "And now, Mr. Chetwyn, order us some 
 dinner if you please; for we have not tasted 
 any to-day." 
 
 Manifold indeed were the inquiries, and 
 ardent the curiosity — all unbonneted and un- 
 shawled again, but we could not gratify them : 
 though when Chartres re-entered the room ten 
 minutes after, and shook me by the hand most 
 cordially, laughing all the time, and loudly 
 commending my chivalry, the fair creatures 
 almost forgot their disappointment that there 
 was no elopement after all, in their unfeigned 
 delight at the returning spirit of domestic 
 harmony and love.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 127 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 " Junonem interea compellat Jupiter 111^0." — ^^. X. 
 
 Indiscretion is a failing not limited to youth 
 or sex ; nor is it by any means identified with 
 careless iudifterence about every - day matters of 
 pounds, shillings, and pence. Mr. Bnmby was 
 an early client of mine, for whom I felt consid- 
 erable regard. Accident led me one dav to his 
 shop to purchase some trifling article of jewel- 
 ery. I have a natural disposition to indulge in 
 good-humored gossip with strangers, where 
 circumstances j»avc the way ; and occasional 
 purchases, accompanied with friendly chit-chat 
 across the counter, laid the foundation for a 
 professional connexion between us, of no very 
 important extent, yet profitable to me and satis- 
 factory to him. Shortly after I became ac- 
 quainted with him, Mr. Bumby retired from
 
 128 ADVENTUHES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 business, having serapod together a sum of 
 twelve thousand pounds, which he considered 
 amply sufficient provision for the evening of 
 life, having no family but his wife and a 
 married daughter comparatively independent of 
 him. This daughter however, had two chil- 
 dren ; and her husband was somewliat specu- 
 lative and scheming in business. Bumby was 
 a blunt, honest fellow, turned of seventy, and 
 on the whole, acute as well as sensible. His 
 wife was full twenty years his junior, good- 
 looking for forty-eight, and, I believe, sincerely 
 attached to him ; j'et her attachment was by 
 no means of that high caste that contemplated 
 self- immolation on his tomb : she ob\aously 
 reckoned on a long survivorship. One of the 
 first duties that Bumby proposed to discharge 
 on relinquishing trade, was to make his will ; 
 and he called on me with his wife to give the 
 usual instructions. 
 
 " You see, Sharpe, I've nothing else to do ; 
 so I may as well set my house in order." 
 
 " Well, Mr. Bumby, that's a good 'un ! as 
 if I hadn't always kept it tidy as need Ix;, 
 though I say it that shouldn't say it ! House 
 in order, truly ! it's never been out of order
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACriOE. 120 
 
 these three - and - twenty years — shop, counter, 
 master, and all ! " 
 
 " Mind your own business, Betty, and don't 
 speak till you are asked. I can talk to Mr, 
 Sharpe without your help, I want to make 
 my ^vill, Sharpe." 
 
 " There now, Bumby, that's coming to the 
 point ! we want to make the will, Mr. Sharj^e." 
 
 "I shall be happy to attend to your instruc- 
 tions, Sir : I believe I know generally what 
 your property is ? " 
 
 "Let's see. there's the consols, £7850, and 
 the reduced, £2300, and the India bonds, and 
 the — " 
 
 " Don't forget the policy, Bumby ! you 
 remember the policy ? " 
 
 "Deuce take the policy and you too! you 
 are always harping about the policy, I believe 
 you'd see me hanged to-morrow to get hold of 
 that eternal policy." 
 
 "You needn't snub me that way, Bumby," 
 whimpered his loving wife. 
 
 "Well, Sir;" interposing, as I always do 
 
 to escape a scene, "there are the India bonds 
 
 and the policy." 
 
 "And the shop and dwelling-house in 
 6*
 
 130 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 Crookecl lane," added Mrs. Biimby, but in a 
 tone somewliat subdued, though still sharp and 
 prompt. 
 
 " What's that to you, Betty? I shall do as 
 I please with the shop and dwelling-house in 
 Crooked lane." 
 
 " To be sure, Bumby, no doubt : but you 
 always said that Crooked lane would do for 
 me, you know." 
 
 " I presume no part of the property is in 
 settlement ? " 
 
 " The more the pity ! " softly ejaculated 
 Betty. 
 
 " Say another word," rejoined Bumby 
 angrily, " I'll make no will at all ! " 
 
 "And how would the policy go theii^ Mr. 
 Sharpe?" retorted his wife. 
 
 " Before I had time to answer, Bumby took 
 out his pocket-book, and slowly fixing his 
 spectacles, read from it his instructions, to the 
 effect that his widow was to enjoy the interest 
 of the whole for her life, and then it was to 
 go to their daughter. 
 
 " But here's where it is, Sharpe ; Betty and 
 I, you see, can't agree about the way to give 
 it to our girl.: that wild chap her husband,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 131 
 
 may die or be hanged, and then the fool would 
 marry again, and her children starve in the 
 workhouse; so I should like to tie it all uj. 
 for them, out of harm's way: but Betty is foi- 
 giving it her outright ! " 
 
 " And so I would, Bumby ; if the girl don't 
 marry again, she'll do worse." 
 
 " Ay, ay : she takes sorely after her mother." 
 
 Mrs. Bumby knit her brows, pursed up her 
 mouth, fanned herself with her pocket-hand- 
 kerchief, and pendulated her body to and fro 
 in her chair with that awful dignity, which in 
 ladies of a certain age and considerable- 
 diameter, argues preparation for an explosion 
 of no ordinary force. I hurried to the rescue 
 of her unlucky spouse. 
 
 " I'll take a note of your instructions, Mr. 
 Bumby, and — " 
 
 " You'll please to hear me too, I hope, Mr. 
 Sharpe ? " 
 
 " Certainly Ma'am : but lest I should for- 
 get-" 
 
 " You'll please not to forget the policy, Mr. 
 Sharpe ? " 
 
 " He's not likely while you are by, Betty." 
 
 "I was speaking to ^Mr. Sharpe, Mr.
 
 182 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 Buraby ! I suppose I may do that, ]Mr. Bumby : 
 Though Sally do take after me, Sir, I'm glad 
 she takes after nobod}' worse ! but 'tain't every 
 child as knows her own fiither, Mr. Sharpe I 
 no wonder Sail don't ! Mr. Bumby, you're a 
 wicked man, you are ! you are a vile, wicked, 
 old man ! you don't deserve to have a young- 
 woman like me for a wife ! me, who has been 
 the kindest, fondest wife as ever loved a man 
 old enough to be her father! you wicked 
 wretch ! you unkind, cruel monster ! " and she 
 blubbered outright. 
 
 " Well, well, Betty : I meant no harm ; so 
 say no more about it," cried Bumby; and 
 ashamed of her, and more than half ashamed of 
 himself too, he bustled up, pinched her cliin by 
 way of coaxing, and took her off, telling me he 
 would call again in a day or two. I fancied 
 that there was something more in this little 
 conjugal quarrel than met the ear, and was 
 rather curious to get at the bottom of it. 
 Bumby'e- visit the next day explained it. 
 
 " Now, Mr. Sharpe ; now I can speak com- 
 fortably when we're alone, you know. Betty's 
 a good soul, but a little up now and then, like 
 a bottle of soda-water, all flutter, splutter, and
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 133 
 
 fiz ; but does one good after a glass too much : 
 60 let her have the policy, Sharpe, as she's set 
 her heart on it ; but she shan't have the rest, 
 except on mj terms. You understand, Sharpe ? 
 'Twas all my eye about Sally : only we didn't 
 like to tell you. The girl don't want the 
 money till her mother dies — in good business 
 — only two children — can do well enough 
 without : but I know where the land lies : my 
 young woman wants to marry again when I'm 
 gone, Sharpe ; and I've no mind she should : 
 or she'll squander it all away while you wind 
 up a watch. So tie it up close as you can ; 
 and when she dies, let her do what she will 
 with it." 
 
 This was not unreasonable had Mrs. Bumby 
 been somewhat younger, but I suspected it 
 would prove very unpalatable to her ; and as it 
 was obviously impossible to keep the intended 
 testamentary arrangements from her, I appre- 
 hended it might lead to a domestic discussion, 
 not very favorable to the comfort of my vener- 
 able chent. I ventured to throw out a hint of 
 this. 
 
 " I think I know my own mind best, Sharpe ! 
 all rou have to do is to put it in black and white."
 
 134 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "It is far from my wish to exceed my pro- 
 vince, but considering Mrs. Bum])y's advanced 
 age, a second marriage seems not very probable." 
 
 "She is a young woman, Sharpe; a veri/ 
 young woman, and 'tis as much as I can do to 
 keep her quiet ; what she will do when I am 
 gone, Heaven knows ! marry you, perhaps ! 
 but you shan't clutch my money if you do." 
 
 I now perceived that jealous}' was at the 
 bottom of this extreme caution, and jealousy is 
 impracticable at any age, so I gave way; 
 merely observing that I felt certain that his 
 wife's remarkable fondness for him (" fondness" 
 is the only appeasing word on such occasions,) 
 precluded all idea of a new engagement. This 
 pleased him, and he left me in good humor. 
 In the course of the same morning his wife 
 repeated her visit. 
 
 " So my dear Bumby has been with you 
 again, Mr. Sharpe ? " 
 
 " He has, Ma'am." 
 
 " And what more has he told you ?" 
 
 "You are to have the policy ! " 
 
 " He is a dear good man when left to himself 
 — and about Sally ? " 
 
 " He is quite resolute there."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 135 
 
 "Then I am to be tied up after all!" 
 (sharply.) 
 
 " You have committed yourself, Mrs. Bumby, 
 but it does not matter, for jour husband has 
 told me that the question was about yourself, 
 and not your daughter." 
 
 " To be sure it is, Sir, and a very important 
 question too ! a woman at my age does not 
 like to be treated like a boarding-school miss, 
 who would spend her money in sugar plums." 
 
 " At your age, Mrs. Bumby ! why you are 
 young enough to marry again, and have a 
 family to bring up ! " 
 
 " La ! Mr. Sharpe, (simpering,) how can you 
 say so? I declare I never dreamt of such a 
 thing : but if you really think so, and I have 
 been taken for Sally 'tis true, no wonder you 
 agree with Bumby about the will." 
 
 " Indeed I rather opposed him till I saw that 
 he suspected me of a lurking interest in the 
 matter." 
 
 " That can hardly be. Sir, (bridling up a 
 little, but still simpering sweetly,) it is time 
 enough indeed, to talk of such things ! but 
 good morning, Mr. Sharpe; I must have a 
 little more explanation with Bumby ! "
 
 136 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 The next day I paid the penalty of my folly : 
 they had their explanation truh', and arrived at 
 a \'ery good understanding by throwing all the 
 hlanie on me! The}- again called together. 
 Mr. Bumby had mounted my stairs with all 
 the vigor and speed of a man determined to 
 find immediate vent for indomitable wrath : 
 he was corpulent, short -legged, and a little 
 asthmatic, so that the unwonted exertion, 
 coupled with much excitement, brought on by 
 the said explanation, almost deprived him of 
 the power of utterance, by the time he had 
 opened my office -door. 
 
 " I'm come, Sharpe, to tell you that" — (ugh! 
 ugh ! ugh ! tearing his great coat hastily asun- 
 der,) "to tell you, Sir," — (ugh! ugh! — the 
 cough was redoubled, and Mrs. Bumb} , who 
 had seated herself with the dignified pendula- 
 tion I have before described, untied and finally 
 removed his neckcloth) " to tell you to your 
 impudent face " — (ngli ! ugh! ugh! He could 
 not get on, and I rose to ofier him a glass of 
 water, but he motioned it away with his hand 
 so abruptly, that all the contents of the glas? 
 were spilt on that abdominal projection in 
 which most men exult after passing their grand
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 137 
 
 climacteric, which his tender wile, in her anxi- 
 ety to procure fair play for his (k-pressed 
 diaphragm, had exposed to view in all its 
 natural rotundity, by unbuttoning not only 
 his vest, but the waist -band of the lower habili- 
 ments ! I can't guess, indeed, how far her 
 tenderness might have carried her, had not the 
 sudden ablution operated like a charm, and 
 instantly restored the faculty of speech in all 
 its eloquence. 
 
 " Confound the jade ! would ye drown me 
 before I have made my will, Betty ? " 
 
 "!No, dear Bumby, nor after either; but you 
 were choking: be composed, Bumby!" 
 
 " Xow, then, Mv. Bumby, what is your com- 
 plaint of me ? '■' 
 
 " Complaint I what right have you to make 
 love to my wife before she is a widow ? and she 
 won't have you timi, I can tell you, Sir." 
 
 "Kot so old, neither, Sir," added the lady, 
 "though you icere pleased to talk to Mr. B. 
 of my advanced age ! " 
 
 " Talk to my wife of a young family, Sir ! 
 I'm old myself, or I would teach you better 
 manners, puppy ! " 
 
 " Though some folks hav- taken me for my
 
 138 ADVENTUKES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 daughter, Mr. Shai-pe, I have thought of no 
 such nonsense for more than a year gone by, 
 and I don't mean to think of it again, I assure 
 you, Sir ! " 
 
 " J^ay, nay, Betty, speak the truth ; 3-ou 
 think of nothing else but that and the policy : 
 speak truth, and shame the devil, if you can't 
 shame Mr. Impudence, there ! " 
 
 This was a diversion in my favor, for Betty 
 blushed, if her natural crimson did not belie 
 her, and at all events was silenced; while 
 Bumby chuckled over his repartee, buttoned 
 ujt his unmentionables, and stared at me with 
 such a ludicrous mixture of self-complacency, 
 dehance, and doubt in his face, that I could not 
 help myself, and indulged in a hearty laugh at 
 them both. A laugh when cordial, is infectious, 
 and Bumby laughed too, nor could his wife 
 wholly resist it. 
 
 '* So you have been comparing notes, and 
 like a couple of fools retailing to each other all 
 yt)ur conversations with me? I heartily wish 
 Mrs. Bumby may never have another husband, 
 or another child as long as she lives, nor you 
 another wife to cool your stomach, and save you 
 from choking. But you shall agree on your
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 139 
 
 instructions before I make your will." And so 
 they finally settled for tliemselves; the will was 
 never made. Mrs. Bumby died about three 
 years after, and the old gentleman soon followed 
 her, intestate ! but he continued to be my client 
 till he died.
 
 140 ADVE^{TUKEft VF AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 " I hope well of to-morrow."— Antony and Cleopatea. 
 
 Happen what will, an attorney must never 
 lose his temper or his self-possession with a 
 client: they often try one shamefully, but we 
 must put up with all, save perhaps in some 
 extreme and peculiar cases. K a client chal- 
 lenge you with losing his cause, or advising 
 him rashly to embark in litigation, you may 
 be sure, if your conscience honestly acquits 
 you, that this is preliminary to a quarrel 
 about your bill, and possibly to a taxation of 
 it, and then show as much spirit as you please. 
 I have always armed myself against such 
 assaults with clients that I at all suspected, by 
 addressing a letter to them previous to the suit, 
 in which, after stating the facts of the case, 
 as they have reported them, I have recorded 
 my opinion on the course that under the cir-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PEACTICE. 141 
 
 cumstances tliey ought to take. It is very 
 satisfactory to be able to appeal afterwards to 
 sucli a testimony to your own straight -forward 
 proceedings. After all, however, clients are 
 entitled to be captious, impatient, and unrea- 
 sonable; it is foolish as well as unjust on their 
 part, for they often weary and alienate the sym- 
 pathy of their attorney, and thus render him 
 less energetic in their service; they sometimes 
 bewilder him, and thereby make him uncertain 
 and indecisive; nor will any client of liberal 
 feelings forget that there may chance to be 
 twenty other matters going forward in the 
 office, every one of which may be as urgent 
 and as important as his own : but be the client 
 what he may, the attorney must humor and 
 indulge him, except in one point; a nervous 
 and iidgety client should never be allowed to 
 be present when his cause is tried ; the chances 
 are ten to one that he ruins the best case ever 
 hiid before a jury, unless his counsel is endowed 
 "with more than common firmness : he will 
 never "let well alone," but persevere in prompt- 
 ing his attorney and his counsel, till he makes 
 the jury share the distrust that he feels him- 
 self.
 
 142 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 A Deginner has one advantage which he 
 never enjoys in after life, if he acquires an}' 
 business at all; he is allowed the reputation 
 of being able and willing to devote all his time 
 to a client's interest. It is very true that this 
 reasonable expectation is formed by nineteen 
 clients out of twenty, whether their solicitor 
 is old or young; a new man, or established 
 in credit and connexion ; but it is certainly a 
 powerful inducement to come to a juvenile 
 attorney, provided he is clever, honest, and all 
 that, that he has nothing else to do. Hence 
 it often arises that in cases of long acumu- 
 lating confusion, where correspondence, at Urst 
 friendly and explanatory, and then expostula- 
 tory, and finally hostile and menacing, has 
 brought the parties to that happy position in 
 which neither knows what the other means, 
 or when the squabble began, or where it is to 
 end, they seek out a solicitor not so much to 
 advise on the quid agendum, as to unravel the 
 web which conflicting interests, aided by ill- 
 temper, have woven around them; this duty 
 peculiarly falls to the lot of a young man who 
 '' has nothing else to do!" Yet it is in busi- 
 ness of this description that I have most
 
 I.N SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 143 
 
 frequently fouud clients of all others the most 
 difficult to guide; I can find no happier term 
 for them than " the class despondent." In the 
 majority of cases despondency springs more 
 from temper than from a con\dction of insuper- 
 able difficulty. One disappointment, of slight 
 moment, and only on a collateral issue, is 
 speedily followed by a second, possibly by a 
 third ; though the merits of the dispute are 
 still untouched, a sanguine or anxious man 
 attaches to every interlocutory matter an im- 
 portance that does not belong to it ; he makes 
 up his mind that all must turn upon that 
 single question, and if decided against him 
 he becomes ahattu. We have no English word 
 exactly to convey the meaning, unless it is the 
 expressive slang, that he is " floored." WTien 
 two or three defeats of this kind have followed 
 each other rapidly, however trifling they may 
 be in themselves, and the result most probably 
 of some pettifoggery of a grasping opponent, 
 practiced to obtain a dirty profit of three or 
 four pounds in costs by way of penalty for an 
 oversight or blunder, the client becomes dis- 
 heartened : he is " an unlucky man " — " noth- 
 ing ever succeeds with him," and his con-
 
 144 ADVENTURES OP AN ATTORNEY 
 
 fidence in his solicitor is imperceptibly shaken, 
 though he would be at a loss himself to say 
 why. It is principally in proceedings in equity 
 or bankruptcy that cases of this description 
 occur ; partly because in modern times a 
 practice of doubtful propriety, though un- 
 doubted convenience, has crept u]> of disposing 
 of a cause by a sidewind motion ; but chiefly 
 because such proceedings, from their procrasti- 
 nated and infinitesimal character, admit of 
 niuch appeal to the court upon collateral and 
 incidental points. There is considerable diffi- 
 culty in dealing with such clients : if you give 
 into their despondency with misplaced sym- 
 pathy, you run the chance of confinning them 
 in their secretly cherished though unacknowl- 
 edged purpose of compromising the affair for 
 themselves, at whatever disadvantage; and 
 you are privately accused of the heavy loss 
 they sustain. The injury derived from these 
 whispered charges, industriously circulated to 
 excuse their own irresolution, may prove 
 incal(;ulably great throughout your whole con- 
 nexion. On the other hand, if vou sustain 
 and encourage their desponding spirits, yon 
 subject yourself, in the event of failure, to the
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 145 
 
 certain imputation of influencing jour client 
 to unprofitable and endless litigation for self- 
 interested purposes, while " lie was all along 
 willing to settle it, but his attorney would iioi 
 let him." I can suggest no better rule for :ni 
 attorney to follow in cases of this kind than 
 honestly to inform himself, by the opinion of 
 vAi honest counsel, by which I mean a man 
 ^'>ho will give you credit, which few of them 
 will do, for consulting your client's interest in 
 disregard of your own, what is the proper 
 course to pursue, and to take that course, 
 utterly regardless of any reproach which the 
 client may subsequently make. 
 
 There are clients, however, of the class des- 
 pondent, who are neither chargeable with 
 temper nor injustice, and such men impose on 
 their legal adviser duties more akin to the phy- 
 sician's or the clergyman's than the lawyer's. I 
 fell in with one of this description in verv earlv 
 life. I hate a sentimental tragedy, — "scenes" 
 of all kinds are a positive nuisance; but as pro- 
 fessional adventures, when truly related, must 
 partake of every hue, my readers will excuse me 
 for troubling them with one; we shall turn 
 again to fun with redoubled zest.
 
 146 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 My friend Harris was a young man of un- 
 usual attainments : but the res angusta doyni did 
 not allow him to devote himself to professional 
 life, for which, in any quiet and unobtrusive 
 branch, he was peculiarly adapted. It often 
 occurs to such men, that they follow literature 
 or science just to the extent that humanizes the 
 character, and gives exquisite refinement to the 
 mental tone, but falls short of imparting that 
 vigor of mind which can discriminate justly 
 between merited and undeserved reproach, so as 
 to set at naught the one, while they shun the 
 other as the severest of human calamities. 
 Harris found himself at the age of five -an d- 
 twenty, possessed of about two thousand 
 pounds, the bequest of a female relative ; hav- 
 ing up to that period, Invguished away a petty 
 patrimony of less than a fourth of that sum, 
 spinning it out as best he could, till the patron- 
 age of a distant connexion could find him "an 
 appointment " equal to his birth and education. 
 
 Harris's understanding was too good not to 
 be aware that two thousand pounds would go 
 but a little way towards maintaining him, 
 while he acquired the rudiments of legal or 
 medical instruction, and afterwards waited for
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE, ;47 
 
 employnieiit; Init like many men of good 
 understanding whom I have met with in a life 
 now not a ver}- sliort one, he fell into the mis- 
 take of supposing that commercial liusiness is 
 so simple and inartificial as to allow any man 
 of common sense and eonnnon prudence, to 
 embark in it with certain i)rofit. He inquired 
 for and soon found " a highly respectable man 
 that w^anted a partnei- with a few thousand, who 
 might take an active part, or not, in the con- 
 cern, as he might feel inchned." We all know 
 in our profession, that such "opportunities" 
 are to be found daily by the score; but njy 
 poor friend was not an attorney, and had no 
 attorney at his elbow. He took the precaution, 
 however, of employing an accountant to ex- 
 amine the "opportunity'" books; and the 
 accountant overhauled waste -book, and bill- 
 book, and pass-book, and ledger, and all the 
 double entry and other Sybilliiie leaves <jf trad- 
 ing mystery, till his brains were addled, if he 
 ever had any. Of course he reported all right; 
 and in an e^dl hour, Harris invested his little 
 capital in "the concern." He was not lono- in 
 discovering that his partner was a " very clever 
 fellow," and that he himself knew nothing;
 
 148 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 hence, with the natural modesty of a well- 
 educated man, and with the natural confidence 
 of an inexperienced one, he left all to the 
 management of his " very clever " partner, and 
 shrunk back into the station of a mere count- 
 ing - house clerk : the transition to a sleeping, 
 and eventually to an absentee partner, was a 
 matter of course. From this slumber he was 
 abruptly awakened about two years from its 
 commencement, by finding that his " very 
 clever " and very active partner had taken ship- 
 ping one fine morning for America ! ^o sooner 
 was it known, than claims came pouring in 
 from all directions : goods supplied on commis- 
 sion, goods consigned from abroad, all abruptly 
 found owners; but neither tbe owners nor 
 Harris could discover the goods : bills accepted 
 and bills dishonored fell from the skies like 
 leaves in October ; but the consideration for 
 them, or the funds to meet them, were alike 
 evanescent. Harris found himself in a laby- 
 rinth of liability, a perfect wilderness of paper 
 and arithmetic, from which extrication appeared 
 hopeless — ruin certain and irretrievable. This 
 was his position when he first applied to me. 
 Amazed, bewildered, and lost, the very excite-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 149 
 
 ment of extreme misfortune, and hourly per- 
 plexity, at first kept liim active and alive. T 
 called liis creditors together, explained to them 
 his situation, begged their indulgence for time 
 to look about us, and subject to certain angry 
 curses, and still more provoking costs incurred 
 by carrion attorneys on the principle of first 
 come first served, I succeeded in getting hostile 
 proceedings suspended for a month. That 
 month enabled me to sift many of the most 
 clamorous demands, and as is usual in such 
 cases, I found the most clamorous, the most 
 equivocal. T silenced half-a-dozen by gentle 
 intimations of partnership liability arising out 
 of their dealings, others I disposed of on tlie 
 ground of fraud, and I began to see my way 
 clearly to a decent dividend, provided aftaii-s 
 were wound up under a trust deed. This was 
 all satisfiictory : but poor Harris, after the first 
 storm had subsided, became nervous, agitated, 
 and helpless, as he was ignorant, as a child. 
 He was with mo daily; but it was only to 
 bemoan himself, and ask unmeaning questions, 
 or tender unavailing service. Advice, consola- 
 tion, encouragement, were all thrown away; 
 " he cared little for his money — he despised his
 
 150 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 creditors — he bud no doubt of success iu some 
 otber calling; but wliat would become of bis 
 chiira(?ter and fair fame?" and to tbat extent 
 did be carry tbis morbid sensibility, tbat wben 
 at lengtb I prevailed on all tbe bona fide credi- 
 tors to come into tbe proposed arrangement, be 
 defeated it entirely by peremptorily refusing to 
 execute any deed tbat migbt empower tbe 
 trustees to litigate tbe doubtful claims ! Tbere 
 was a mystery about tbis pusillanimity tbat I 
 could not penetrate, but it was soon explained ; 
 be bad a very sufficient reason for deprecating 
 publicity ! Bona fide creditors, bowever, an; 
 not men to be trifled witli ; wben Harris per- 
 emptorily refused to ratify tbe arrangement 
 wbicb I bad promised on bis bebalf, a commis- 
 sion was soon sued out; tbe appearance of bis 
 name in tbe gazette brougbt to ligbt, at tbe 
 same time tbat it f )r excr terminated an en- 
 tratrement wbicb be bad made with tbe daugbter 
 of an eminent merchant — a worthless, though 
 amiable woman (for, alas ! I have not lived 
 forty years in the world, without learning that 
 amiability may consist with utter baseness), 
 and Harris became bankrupt and broken- 
 hearted the same day. Had he possessed more
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 151 
 
 firmness, I still could liave la-ouglit liiin 
 througli : for a time he was quite docile, from 
 mere despondency. As the truth became 
 known, hostility gave place to commiseration, 
 and his certificate would have been signed with 
 alacrity; but a circumstance happened which 
 threatened yet deeper disgrace. His villainous 
 partner was the trustee of funds that he had 
 appropriated ; it became necessary, for the pro- 
 tection of the estate, to try the question at law, 
 whether these funds had been applied to the use 
 of the partnership ; the bare suspicion of such 
 a fraud was too much for my poor friend, and 
 he died before the trial took place. The lady 
 to whom he was betrothed, soon found a 
 wealthier husband, and not long after her 
 marriage, found also a more agreeable lover ! 
 but whether she too has buried her more 
 merited sorrow in the grave, I know not. T 
 saw her years afterwards, caressing with fond- 
 ness a child that did not bear its mother's 
 name ; she looked at me with an expression of 
 eager, yet retreating anxiety, and tears were in 
 her eyes ; but I dreaded retrospect not less than 
 she could do, and we passed in silence. I have 
 nevep seen or heard of her since.
 
 152 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 Clients of this character require something 
 more than professional aid. My poor friend's 
 case was not one of the ordinary description, 
 certainly ; but this morbid sensibility is not of 
 such rare occurrence as may be supposed, though 
 it is very rarely that the accidents of life wound 
 it thus deeply. It is not easy, perhaps, to esti- 
 mate the true value of early and total disappoint- 
 ment in worldly prospects ; yet on the other 
 hand, it is certain that very early disappoint- 
 ment is by no means fatal to ultimate, and even 
 brilliant success. That there h "a tide in the 
 aft'airs of men " is true enough ; l)ut the hour of 
 its ebb or flood is fortunately too capricious to 
 allow of the maxim being of n\uch practical 
 use. When we are introduced to a client dis- 
 posed to surrender himself to the hopeless feel- 
 ings of Harris, we arc bound to sympathize in 
 them, even with fraternal tenderness; but 'not 
 to share them. In proportion as he is cast 
 down, we must maintain a cheerful, yet tran- 
 quil attitude. 
 
 Cases of the class which I have been describ- 
 ing are, perhaps, the only cases in which an 
 attorney can scarcely go too far in taking a 
 personal interest in his client's aft'airs; yet even
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICK. loo 
 
 here, that interest must stop short of identity 
 of feeling; a calm self-possession must be 
 maintained, or he will fail in encouraging liis 
 client, for encouragement to hope is imparted 
 more by example than by precept. To under- 
 value difficulties, to laugh at obstacles which 
 can only be surmounted by patient ingenuity, 
 is inexpedient and dangerous : when their real 
 magnitude becomes apparent, the client will 
 distrust your professional knowledge, and his 
 despondency becomes deeper by the failure of 
 his confidence. All should be clearly and 
 honestly explained to him ; but the explanation 
 should be given with the manner of one who 
 knows what he has to encounter, and is consci- 
 ous that there is nothing in it so formidable, 
 but perseverance and good sense may insure 
 success. All this is obvious and commonplace, 
 yet it is a most difficult doctrine to reduce to 
 practice ; for it is much opposed to that policy 
 which guides the younger members of the pro- 
 fession. Some, I fear too many, think it wise 
 to exaggerate difficulties, that they may secure 
 proportionate credit for surmounting them : 
 others from natural diffidence if not timidity, 
 rate them too highly, to pave the way for ex-
 
 .154 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 pected defeat : there is yet a third class who 
 apprehend their client's displeasure, if they 
 appear to entertain less anxiety and alarm than 
 himself, at the critical position in which h(> 
 stands. All these motives are personal and 
 selfish, when traced to their source ; and selfish- 
 ness 80 surely predominates, that the chances 
 are always in favor of an inexperienced attorney 
 acting upon them, in preference to more gener- 
 ous principles. I am convinced, however, that 
 this selfish policy is short-sighted; I have 
 known more than one instance of counsel ac- 
 quiring an extent of husiness for which their 
 learning little qualified them, hy the consolatory 
 spirit in which they always predicate success. 
 I know many in which counsel of profound 
 knowledge and high attainments have pursued 
 a long career of yearly disappointment, hecause 
 the nervous apprehension of heing turned 
 round on some point whicli few hut themselves 
 would have the acuteness to discover, dismisses 
 the attorney from his conference with gloomy 
 forebodings of the issue. If, notwithstanding 
 he succeeds, he doubts the soundness of the 
 advice, and at all events retains no pleasing 
 recollcotioii of his adviser. The same rule
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. If).') 
 
 holds in every respect, between the attorney an! 
 his client. A cheerful, I do not mean a 
 sanguine expectation, rallies the spirits, and 
 gives courDge to the drooping litigant: it is 
 impossible to give strength of mind to one who 
 is utterly destitute of it, but a temporary firm- 
 ness, sufficient for the occasion, may often be 
 generated in a timid man who feels himself 
 thrown upon superior resolution for support ; 
 and the most certain mode of strencrtheniner his 
 confidence, and removing his depression, is to 
 exhibit the energy that he wants, while you do 
 not deny the emergency that requires it. 
 
 It is scarcely foreign to this subject to observe 
 that a great mistake obtains among the junior 
 branches of the profession, and perhaps among 
 many of all ages out of it, as to the qualities 
 which are j)eculiarly desirable in a solicitor. 
 It is rightly assumed that he must possess a 
 certain share of legal knowledge ; though even 
 here, if I may judge by the prosperity of many, 
 less will serve his turn than is commonly sup- 
 posed : a liberal education ultra the law, is 
 mostly, but very erroneously, regarded as mere 
 accomplishment. I am ashamed to say of my 
 brethren, that I know too manv amono- them.
 
 156 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 the style of whose composition would disgrace 
 a chamhonnaid, and the tone of whose manners 
 would exclude them from the butler's pantry, 
 r know not one however, of this description, 
 who has ever attained, or even aspired to a 
 liigher rank in it, than that which might bo 
 allowed to a sheriff's officer, or a money -lend- 
 ino- Jew. Honestv, in the ordinarv and limited 
 sense of the term, is generally presumed as a 
 qualification of course, though ill-natured 
 people do say that it is rather an extraordinary 
 professional trait. All however, are agreed, 
 that to a greater or less extent, according to 
 taste and the character of his business, hiw, 
 general knowledge, and couimon honesty are 
 required in an attorney : but discuss the desir- 
 able a little further, and we find the usual 
 definition sciveu of the desiderated animal is 
 that he shall be "a sharp, clever fellow." In 
 deference to this favorite notion, I have assumed 
 my nom de voyage ; yet with the inconsistency 
 of many who travel the continent as captains 
 and colonels (I know one gaUant old gentleman 
 at this moment, who designates himself abroad 
 as " Monsieur le Colonel," in virtue of an old 
 uniform to which he had acquired a title under
 
 m SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 157 
 
 the volunteer system), I am bold enough to say 
 not only that your " sharp, clever fellows " 
 make your worst attorneys, but that they rarely 
 gain admission to the higher classes of respect- 
 able clients : this sounds a little paradoxical, 
 but there is sufficient reason for it. The sort 
 of cleverness which obtains this reputation for 
 an attorney, is to be found in every office on 
 very cheap terms. Every common law or 
 chancery clerk (as a piano that has been prac- 
 ticed on for two or three years, arrives at its 
 prime) is after a short probation, pre-eminent 
 for it; and no office of any extent in business 
 is without a convenient appendage of this kind, 
 whose special duty it is to set snares and catch 
 an opponent tripping : whenever he or his em- 
 ployer is at fault, the pleader or a junior counsel 
 will soon make a skillful cast for the scent. 
 This conflict of wit for petty advantage often 
 occurs among the subordinates of an attorney's 
 office ; and where (though that is very seldom,) 
 the client reaps any real benefit from it, the 
 principal, by reflected honor from his clerk, is 
 voted a "sharp and clever fellow." Among 
 respectable men, however, these paltry conten- 
 tions are despised, and also discouraged;
 
 158 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "because they tend to create angry and vindic- 
 tive feeling, without any counter- balancing 
 advantage, except, perchance, two or three 
 pounds that mav he successfullv extracted 
 from the pocket of an opponent in the shape of 
 costs, with as much credit, though more safety, 
 than by picking it of a watch and seals. It 
 generally happens that clerks who spend their 
 noviciate in learning this cleverness, pique 
 themselves so much on the acquisition of it, 
 that they learn but little else ; and when they 
 enter upon practice on their own account, have 
 no other accomplishment to bring to their aid. 
 Hence their minds degenerate; their business 
 is low, because it is chieflv in low business that 
 such smartness enables them to shine; and 
 even low and vulgar clients very soon discover, 
 that while in the progress of a cause, these 
 " sharp, clever fellows " are daily met and 
 defeated by pleaders and counsel, if not by 
 attorneys, as sharp and clever as themselves, 
 their sharpness is frequently turned upon their 
 employers, of whose dullness they can render 
 very profitable account! The truth is, that it 
 is only clients of very doubtful honest}^, and 
 who have business to transact which demands
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE, 159 
 
 the protection of those resources to which 
 knavery alone will stoop, that require the aid 
 of these " sharp, clever men; " but such clients 
 are not worth having on any terms, and if you 
 have too many of them, you will secure a 
 reputation for cunning and address that will 
 keep more respectable connexions at a respectful 
 distance. If I were asked to define the pro- 
 fessional character to which I should most 
 Avillingly trust myself, in an affair of delicacy 
 or importance, involved in intricate details of 
 circumstance, and entangled, perhaps, with 
 much of personal and private feeling, I should 
 select a man distinguished by calm energy, a 
 clear head, and sound common sense : if in 
 addition to this, he were gifted with a cheerful 
 disposition, and marked, not by fastidious 
 delicacy of mind, but by that enlarged honesty 
 which is usually intended by " honorable 
 principle," I should consider that he possessed 
 the finest qualities for a useful attorney. Of 
 course there are not many who come up to this 
 standard ; but in proportion as they approacli 
 it, and as the general nature of their Inisiiiess 
 implies that the}- keep it constantly in view, a 
 client ma. consider himself safe in their hands.
 
 160 ADVENTUKES OE AN ATTORNEY 
 
 K mj work were not necessarily anonymous, 
 and anonymous praise, however sincere, goes 
 for nothing, I could with ease name a hundred 
 solicitors that well deserve to be classed with 
 such as I have here described.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 163 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 " Cum pertinacia recte disputari non potest."— Cic. de Fin. 
 
 " Qua in re mihi ridicule es visus esse inconstans."— Pro. Qu. R. 
 
 But I have been tempted into a long digres 
 sion from - my immediate subjeet. I might 
 distinguish and ckissify eUents by as many 
 pecuharities as there are passions in humau 
 nature : I wish, however, only to mention sonu 
 of the more usual \arieties. There is a very 
 large and veiy profitable elass that may be 
 described as the '• wrong-headed.'' Wrong- 
 headedness may spring from temper, from tim- 
 idity, from ignorance, and a multitude of causes, 
 I have already given a few specimens of the 
 class that will illustrate this, but the vvrong- 
 headedness to w^hich I am now alluding, is an 
 infirmity of itself, more nearly allied to pride, 
 perhaps, than to any other- kindred spirit, but 
 distinguishable in many points even from that. 
 It is an obstinacy ot that peculiar character that
 
 162 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 will I'esolutely act for itself, even while it admits 
 its inability to judge, or to collect the materials 
 for judging correctly. It acknowledges its 
 own dullness ; it seeks to be enlightened ; it 
 professes an eager anxiety to " see its way 
 clearly;" it owns to perplexity; and acknow- 
 ledges inexperience. The attorney is taken with 
 this show of deferential confidence ; he exposes 
 the true position of the party, points out the 
 material circumstances, explains the collateral 
 bearings of the subjects, suggests the difficulties 
 and advises on the prudential course ; when to 
 his surprise and mortification, he finds he has 
 been talking to the winds. 
 
 " I admit all you say, Mr. Sharpe; there is a 
 great deal of truth in it ; perhaps you are right ; 
 only it does not seem to me that I must go on as 
 I proposed." 
 
 " Then, Sir, you will assuredly subject your- 
 self to costs, and probably to disappointment." 
 
 " It is very honest in you to say so, Mr. Sharpe, 
 Init I own I have formed my opinion long 
 since." 
 
 " Your opinion was formed under a mistaken 
 ^•iew of the case : you now see your position 
 better."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 163 
 
 " Yes, but I am not apt to be iiii-staken ; I 
 find others agree with me in my iirst impres- 
 sions." 
 
 " PerhajDS you did not so fully explain your- 
 self and your situation to them." 
 
 " It may be so ; but I do not well see how I 
 can alter my purpose." 
 
 " You have not understood before how desti- 
 tute you are of e^ddence." 
 
 " Yes : but I may find some better evidence 
 yet." 
 
 " Then the legal point is doubtful, if you do." 
 
 " That's true: but I must trust to counsel for 
 that. It strikes mc that I must go on." 
 
 "Should vou eventually fail, vou widen the 
 breach that it is your interest to heal." 
 
 "I aiii aware of that: still I (hm't see how 1 
 can help myself." 
 
 " I feel it my duty to say that I think your 
 determination a rash one." 
 
 "I am very sorry for that. Sir; very sorry, in- 
 deed : but if vou are unwillino; to undertake the 
 cause I must consult Mr. Darall. I have heard 
 all you have said with attention ; but I confess I 
 am not convinced, so I cannot alter my mind.'" 
 
 And if you remain honestly firm to your
 
 164 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 opinion, no matter liow rational or how disin- 
 terested, you lose your client. Here is a clioice 
 of difficulties : take up the cause and fail, and 
 the failure is not thrown on your client's obstin- 
 acy, not even by his own conscience, but on 
 your ignorance and irresolution : should you 
 succeed, the probability is that you lose his 
 coniidence hereafter, because your success gives 
 the lie to your own predictions. Reputation is 
 endangered either way, for I know to my cost, 
 that a character for being too cautious is as fatal 
 to professional repute, as the opposite extreme 
 of temerity. These wrong-headed customers 
 are the most profitable of any, when they do 
 happen to be right ; this however, is but seldom, 
 for if they do not find a post in their way, they 
 will soon make one to run their heads aerainst. 
 On the whole, I dread a "but" and a "yes, but" 
 client. Pleas by confession and avoidance are 
 most provoking. 
 
 The "whimsical" species is a very large 
 family; and if not very perplexing, certainly 
 very far from agreeable. I may observe of this 
 class, as of the last, that their business is gen- 
 erally of a nature peculiar to themselves. The 
 case of the wrong-headed is usually one of some
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 165 
 
 very equivocal right : the abatement of an al- 
 leged nuisance; the restraint of a customary 
 trespass; resistance to a doubtful encroachment; 
 enforcement of a vague contract; or above all, 
 the assertion of some very questionable right of 
 way, of toll, of common, and so forth. With 
 clergymen invariably it arises on the titheable 
 character of a twig of hazel or an alder bush. 
 So with the client whimsical, his wrongs are 
 always characteristic of the man : they savor 
 of frivolity, — he has been deceived in the value 
 of a painting or a horse, — or the mail has 
 started before its time, and left hini behind 
 — or he has contracted for a green -house <>r a 
 dog- kennel, and the builder has built it one Avay 
 while he ordered it another; and then comes 
 objection; objection ends in quarrel; and each 
 party flies to his attorney, to bring the other to 
 book ; it by no means follows that the attorney 
 is empowered to act, however. I had an amus- 
 ing instance of this indecision in a man w^ho 
 was otherwise sensible, and who chanced, on 
 this occasion, to be right on the merits. My 
 friend had contracted for extensive alterations 
 in his house; a specifi.cation had been prepared, 
 but as usual, the original plan had been aband-
 
 1(36 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 oned, revived, again abandoned, and eventually 
 vai'ied a dozen times. Of course a bill for extra 
 veork to no small amount, was sent in. He 
 brought it to me. 
 
 " Here's a pretty rascal for you ! he contracted 
 to do the job for a hundred pounds, which I 
 paid him, and here is sixty - three more ! I shall 
 not pay it. Can he make me, Sharpe ? " 
 
 " That depends on circumstances ; was the 
 work included in the contract?" 
 
 " Some of it was ; he was to open a door into 
 the drawing-room, but I afterwards ordered 
 folding -doors." 
 
 " Is that the only deviation ? " 
 
 " No : the new windows were to be sash win- 
 dows, and they were altered to French." 
 
 " Any thing more ? " 
 
 " Wliy, I was obliged to change the position 
 of the fire-place on account of the kitchen flues." 
 
 "Was this all?" 
 
 "Pretty nearly, only the recess was turned 
 into a closet." 
 
 " Have you done now ?" 
 
 " Let me see! No: I forgot the flooring. It 
 was new laid to correspond with the other 
 floor."
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 167 
 
 "And there the alterations ended?" 
 
 " The hinges of the new doors were changed 
 for patent hinges," 
 
 " Then the rest was done according to the 
 contract ? " 
 
 "ISTot entirely; we did not like the white 
 marble, so we substituted Douro." 
 
 "And the painting and papering?" 
 
 "It was to have been papered, certainly, but 
 we found that painting was better for the pic- 
 tures." 
 
 "That led to further change?" 
 
 " Why, you know we were obliged to have 
 the oak graining to correspond with the draw- 
 ing-room." 
 
 " And the cornices?" 
 
 "Oh, dear, I forgot the cornice; of course 
 that was made of the same pattern as the other." 
 
 " Then with these deviations the specification 
 was adhered to. 
 
 " Except iti a few trifling matters, perhaps." " 
 
 On showing him the contract and the plan, I 
 easily satisfied him that the specification had 
 Ijcen abandoned in every particular, but he " did 
 not intend to pay nevertheless," and I nmst 
 w ri te iUid say so ; the next day he repeated his call.
 
 168 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " Have you written, Sharpe ?" 
 
 " No : I kuew you would change your mind.'' 
 
 "I'm glad of it; I want you to write and 
 propose a reference." 
 
 This was more rational, but I still hesitated 
 till he called again. 
 
 " Will he refer it, Sharpe ?" 
 
 " I have not asked him." 
 
 " Ver}^ right, for I think if you were to tender 
 him ten or twenty pounds, I shall hear no more 
 about it." 
 
 I thought so too; but I was by no means 
 sure that my friend would be of the same 
 mind for four -and -twenty hours, and then 
 we should be worse off than ever. I judged 
 correctly. 
 
 " I hope you have not offered the money, 
 Sharpe?" were the first words on the following 
 day. 
 
 " Not yet; I shall do so before night." 
 
 " By no means ; I have made up my mind to 
 resist the claim altogether, for the work's ill 
 done; I am determined to resist it." 
 
 Before the week ended, came the attoi-ney's 
 letter enclosing the writ, and my client soon 
 followed it to my office.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 169 
 
 " This looks serious, Sharpe ; liave you re- 
 tained Serjeant Wilde ? " 
 
 "No doubt that is done already by the plain- 
 tifl", but I will send a retainer at once for the 
 chance." 
 
 The plaintiff had secured him the previous 
 day. 
 
 "Yery unlucky indeed, Sharpe! A'ery un- 
 fortunate ! what can I do now ? " 
 
 " Tender him twenty pounds." 
 
 " He won't take it : 'tis too late for that." 
 
 "Propose a reference." 
 
 " I think that would have done a week ago, 
 but 'tis useless now." 
 
 " Write and say you will delend the action." 
 
 " Yes, and pay all the costs on botii sides ! 
 juries always give \erdicts for brother trades- 
 men." 
 
 "Then pay the money; or go to Brighton 
 and make yourself scarce for a month, and 
 leave the matter to me." 
 
 The latter alternative was the most agreeable. 
 1 offered a reference to any surveyor of eminence, 
 and added that I should give the ofter in evi- 
 dence; it was accepted, the work vwis iiica.jiired, 
 
 sixty pounds taken oft the sixty -three (this is 
 8
 
 170 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 literally" true), and five pounds more for the 
 survey and costs settled the whole transaction. 
 The whimsicality of my client was not the less 
 mischievously absurd. Time is always lost, 
 costs often incurred, and favorable opportunities 
 of amicable compromise, or of testing the in 
 terrorem power of professional decision, are 
 fooKshly allowed to slip by.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 171 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 " Multitudo snperbe dominatur." — Liv. 
 
 The " client collective " is an untameable 
 hydra! There are many varieties of this 
 species : sometimes it is found in the form of 
 parish vestries ; sometimes of a bench of magis- 
 trates ; sometimes of a professional or scientific 
 council ; at others of a coffee-house assemblao-e 
 of rapacious creditors, or of an insurance or 
 railroad board. In -whatever form the mon- 
 ster appears, it requires Herculean powers 
 to encounter it. It has fallen to my lot to meet 
 it in every shape, }et I scarcely know how to 
 prepare myself, much less others, for the con- 
 flict. To drop metaphor; we must recollect 
 that wlien men assemble in considerable num- 
 bers to effect any common object, but not sub- 
 jected to any rigorous discipline because they 
 assemble spontaneously, and therefore on terms
 
 172 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 of republican equality, eacli brings to the dis- 
 cussion not merely bis peculiar knowledge, but 
 bis peculiar temper and absurdities : tbe most 
 good-natured man is voted to the chair, and 
 unless firmness and good sense mark his de- 
 portment, his good -nature is in bis own way 
 and the way of every body else : passion breaks 
 loose ; absurdity gains ground, (for every man 
 is more or less absurd on some point), the chair- 
 man appeals to the good sense of the board, 
 long after every symptom of it has vanished, 
 and then the dernier ressort is to the authority of 
 the legal adviser. But this officer usually stands 
 in a very unlucky predicament. He has an ac- 
 knowledged interest in the question of costs, on 
 every important matter that provokes debate. 
 Collective bodies are destitute of delicacy or 
 shame ; where reproach is distributed among 
 many, each man's share becomes imperceptibly 
 light ; hence the most cutting sarcasm and illib- 
 eral sneers are unsparingly vented on profes- 
 sional rapacity, by men who would blush indi- 
 A'idually to be suspected of a shabby economy. 
 In their official chairs however, they " are trus- 
 tees for the public;" and under this convenient 
 salvo, they uphold penurious parsimony as a
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 173 
 
 laudable duty that they are bound to practice. 
 Now to all tills, the attorney must submit with 
 patience, — nay, with cheerfulness; for if he 
 appears to wince under the lash, punishment is 
 redoubled; should he be provoked into a re- 
 tort, he challenges a trial of official strength ; 
 for there is nothing that assembled officials like 
 to display so much as their power. Yet their 
 attorney must answer every appeal with calm 
 good -humor, as well as deferential gravity. 
 
 A favorable opportunity occurred to me in 
 the third year of my professional life, to start a 
 public company for a very legitimate purpose. 
 Joint- stock speculations were not at that time 
 so much distrusted as they are now; foreign 
 mining was the rage, and fortunate was the man 
 who could state on decent authority that Chili 
 or Peru had still a barren mountain unpro\dded 
 with a wealthy owner, l^o sooner was it an-- 
 nounced by me that the rich soil of Bubbillassi 
 was in the market than shareholders, directors, 
 and trustees came in by shoals. I knew neither 
 its latitude nor longitude. I was equally ignor- 
 ant of its products, its capabilities, and its 
 \'alue. An enterprising friend had spent three 
 months on the South American continent dab-
 
 174 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 blino: a little in ffeoloffv, mineral offv, and " all 
 the other olosi'ies ; " he returned home at the nick 
 of time, prated fluently about gold and silver 
 lodes, veins unexplored, and hidden treasures, all 
 of which needed but a few thousand pounds, 
 and a clever agent like himself, to secure them 
 to the first bidder in the market of British cap- 
 italists. I own that at this age I was scandal- 
 ously green as to the advantages to be derived 
 from such lucrative projects; I little dreamt of 
 the mystery of issuing shares most grudgingly, 
 swearing that they were all bespoke, long ere 
 one had been subscribed for, bribing an active 
 stock -broker with the disposal of a few hun- 
 dreds of them, and then pocketing the premium 
 before a first installment had been paid. Had I 
 comprehended all this thimble -riggery then, I 
 should have been far above the necessity now of 
 " soft- solderino^ " clients I but let human nature 
 be as bad as it may, I do maintain that such 
 knowledge is not to be acquired by intuition, 
 even bv a man born in the Hotunda, and cradled 
 in the Stock Exchange ! no, not thougli ho 
 should be blest with a Jew -attorney for a dry- 
 nurse. My prospectus of the Bubbillassi Min- 
 ing Company was soon published, (I was always
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 175 
 
 a good hand at drawing a prospectus,) and 
 bankers, merchants, stock -brokers, ship-own- 
 ers, and East India captains were at me by the 
 dozen. Even metropolitan M, P.'s and w'or- 
 shipful Aldermen thought it no sin to assure 
 me that " thej liked the scheme ; it was a mag- 
 nificent idea, they had much time on their hands 
 and would be happj to take a few shares, and 
 even to give weight to the direction by taking a 
 part in it, if all the seats were not yet filled up." 
 I might have suspected that all this meant some- 
 thing, but like a confiding greenhorn as I was, 
 I innocently interpreted these kind assurances 
 au pied de lettre, and bestowed my patronage in 
 the order of the applications made to me. 
 Thus I soon found myself surrounded by a 
 motley crew, all of my own appointment, and 
 as I of course inferred, all most gratefully dis- 
 posed to admit a reciprocity of obligation. For 
 a time things went on swimmingly ; not a soul 
 among us knew anything about tlie mines, or 
 smelting, or Chili, or Peru, or aught connected 
 therewith ! Less still did they understand the 
 science of organizing associated bodies ; all was 
 left to my ingenuity, and aided Ijy the local in- 
 formation of my ingenious coadjutor,! contrived
 
 176 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 to satisfy all doubts, overcome all obstacles, and 
 launch the speculation so plausibly and dexter- 
 ously, that shares rose in the market to a 
 premium that enriched every body but myself, 
 and those who paid it ! Of our eventful success 
 I shall say no more ; there are thousands and 
 tens of thousands who will be at no loss to 
 identify their Company by this short sketch of 
 its commencement, and if a lurking doubt 
 should still remain, the following scene at a 
 weekly board will remove it. There are sundry 
 articles of furniture, of " property," I believe I 
 should say in theatrical phrase, that are essential 
 to Company dramas. Twelve mahogany chairs 
 of massive dignity, duly covered with green 
 morocco, and commanded by one of loftier pre- 
 tensions in capacity and elevation of back; a 
 very neat ivory turned hammer somewhat larger 
 than an auctioneer's, to assist in resolving into 
 its simple ideas the compound eloquence of 
 twelve gentlemen of " considerable influence, 
 well known in the city;" six daily newspapers 
 to amuse the thoughts of those who "take no 
 interest in the immediate subject of discussion ; " 
 a dozen memorandum books interleaved with 
 blotting-paper to employ the linger during the
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 177 
 
 tedious process of reading over minutes, and 
 formal correspondence; and above all, a lengthj 
 table, at which twenty aldermen might dine 
 without crowdino', which said table viiist be 
 covered with superfine green cloth : all these 
 several properties are actually indispensable to 
 the due performance of directorial parts, though 
 on the whole, I am inclined to think the green 
 table the most important of them all. 
 
 The first occasion on which my professional 
 assistance was formally requested, arose on 
 a matter that seemed to me ludicrously insignifi- 
 cant; but I had not then learnt that the zeal 
 of a " collective client " increases in a direct 
 ratio with the insignificance of the subject, and 
 rightly so ; for what dependence can be placed 
 on the wisdom and frugality of " a public 
 board," if even in trifles involving however 
 slightly the "interests of the share -holders," 
 they lose sight of economy, or foolishly confide 
 the management specially entrusted to then' 
 selves, to the skill of subordinate officials ? The 
 deed of settlement was a document of awful 
 length, extending over some thirty skins of 
 parchment of more than ordinary dimensions ; 
 
 I had succeeded in procuring the signatures of 
 8*
 
 178 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 all the proprietors, and as in duty bound, 
 reported progress, and laid the mighty roll on 
 the table. " What next?" was the perplexing 
 inquiry that led to the following scene. 
 
 " Gentlemen," began the chairman with most 
 becoming gravity, after a short prelude with 
 the ivory hammer, " Gentlemen," and the 
 hammer was again called into action : "I must 
 entreat silence, gentlemen, for one minute, 
 while" — 
 
 " Mr. Chairman," exclaimed a pert youth of 
 about five -and -twenty, who gloried in the 
 name of Gribble, " I wish to know, Mr. Chair- 
 man, why that enormous mass of parchment, 
 which of course cost money, might not have 
 been saved ? paper would have done as well ! " 
 
 " I was going to explain, Mr. Gribble," 
 promptly answered the chairman; but ere he 
 could finish the sentence, a new orator broke 
 forth in a Mr. Lounch, a steady, substantial, and 
 straight -forward tradesman of the old school. 
 
 " Saving's a very good thing, Mr. Chairman, 
 but order is still better; and I call Mr. Gribble 
 to order, seeing that you. Sir, were in possession 
 of the chair ! " 
 
 '* I don't well see how he could be out of it,"
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 179 
 
 retorted Mr. Gribble, " but I contend I am 
 not out of order, for if such confounded Wiiste 
 as that" — 
 
 " Order, order," shouted three or four at 
 once, " there is no motion before the board! " 
 
 " If a speedy motion is desirable to prevent 
 disorder," interposed Dr. Fhibotham, " I will 
 move that in all future operations of our body, 
 waste paper be substituted for parchment." 
 
 " Chair ! chair ! no professional allusions, 
 Doctor ! " 
 
 " Dr. Flabotham, it is my duty to say " — 
 
 " I scorn all professional allusions," inter- 
 rupted the Doctor, " I merely wish to purge 
 this board of the disorder that is always pre- 
 dicated by the want of motion." 
 
 "Motion or no motion, lam in possession 
 of the chair; " again began Mr. Gribble. 
 
 " I think you have no occasion for it, and 
 should be kicked out of it," interposed the 
 plain-speaking Mr. Lounch. 
 
 The activity of the hammer here becanu; 
 terrific ; the entreaties of the chairman assumed 
 a tone almost of rebuke ; not an ear heard him, 
 however, for not a tongue was silent, and re- 
 monstrance was in vain.
 
 180 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "Kicked, did you say, Sir? did you say 
 kicked?" 
 
 " And a motion before tile chair ! " 
 
 "But not seconded." 
 
 " The chairman was going to explain when 
 Gribble interrupted." 
 
 " I move that the words be taken down." 
 
 " I second that motion." 
 
 " Impossible; it is contrary to all rule: you 
 must move an amendment." 
 
 "I appeal to the chairman." 
 
 " Gentlemen, gentlemen, it is impossible to 
 keep order, unless " — 
 
 " I again ask, did you say kicked, Sir ? " 
 
 " Address yourself to the chair, Mr. Gribble, 
 these personal applications " — 
 
 " He did not kick me, Sir ! What do you 
 mean to insinuate by personal applications ? " 
 
 "I vote that this meeting do adjourn ! " 
 
 " What, without doing business? " 
 
 " It is you have interrupted it, Lounch ! " 
 
 "I did not; Gribble said he had taken the 
 chair, when I am sure he did not want it " 
 
 And so the tumultuous chorus was sustained, 
 till exhaustion silenced the majority ; when the 
 chairman availed himself of a momentary pause
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 181 
 
 to ask the question, how it all began 'i This 
 was a signal for re -commencing the row. 
 
 " It was Mr. Gribble who " — 
 
 " Dr. Flabotham moved that " — 
 
 " Lonnch wanted to kick " — 
 
 " 'Tis one o'clock, gentlemen, and I must be 
 off to the Phoenix," exclaimed Lounch, in a 
 resolute but quiet tone, that induced several to 
 follow his example, and take their hats ; peace 
 was now restored ; a quasi apology exchanged 
 between the most obstreperous, who resumed 
 their seats, and to seal the general reconcilia- 
 tion, the chairman gravely proposed that Mr. 
 Sharpe's opinion should be requested on the 
 point in dispute. To this an immediate assent 
 was given, and I was summoned from the 
 adjoining room, to which I had retreated when 
 matters were becoming serious. 
 
 " Mr. Sharpe," the chairman blandly began, 
 " the Board wish for your opinion on the subject 
 that has excited so much unpleasant discussion : 
 will you have the goodness to favor us with it?" 
 
 " May I ask what the question is, Sir? " 
 
 " Perhaps you will explain it, Mr. Gribble," 
 said the chairman, prudently evading the very 
 difficult task.
 
 182 ADVENTURES OF AN ATICENEY 
 
 " The question is, Mr. Sharpe, what's the use 
 of all that heap of parchment yonder, except to 
 swell your bill of costs ? can you tell me that, Sir ?" 
 
 " I beg pardon," interposed Lounch, " that 
 was not the question at all." 
 
 " Then perhaps you will explain what was, as 
 you understand it so well," rejoined Gribble. 
 
 " The question was about the Doctor's 
 motion." 
 
 " 'Twas no such thing; 'twas a point of order," 
 observed the Doctor. 
 
 "There you're quite out; for the chair de- 
 cided it against you." 
 
 " I decided nothing, gentlemen, but as Mr. 
 Sharpe cannot answer the question till he hears 
 it, I beg to propose that it shall be written 
 down." 
 
 " A good thought that," observed a humorous 
 man, about fifty, who had been the only peace- 
 able one in the party ; "I move that every man 
 shall write his question down." 
 
 The hint was promptly taken; everybody 
 seized a pen, and in five minutes I was favored 
 with as many questions as there were directors, 
 that is to say, exactly fifteen ; and the best of it 
 was that no two were at all alike. I read them
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 183 
 
 all with becoming gravity, but to aihswer half 
 or even a tenth of them was impossible. I ex- 
 tricated myself from the difficulty without much 
 trouble. 
 
 " Gentlemen, I can easily remove all your 
 doubts, but it will be at considerable expense." 
 
 " Costs again ! Sharpe never thinks of any- 
 thing but costs ! " observed Gribble. 
 
 "Yes, Sir, the costs will be very heavy indeed, 
 and that is my reason for hesitating." 
 
 " Wliy, can't you open your mouth but we 
 must pay for it ? " 
 
 " Precisely so. Sir ! you have asked me fifteen 
 questions, and at six-and-eightpence each the 
 answers will be exactly five pounds ! " 
 
 My quiet friend, who had been looking over 
 some of the papers simultaneously with myself, 
 observed that they would not get off so cheaply, 
 for at least two -thirds of them required the 
 opinion of counsel ! It was finally determined 
 that I should select for myself such as most 
 ob\n.ously required an answer, when, like a fool, 
 I replied, "there was but one;" and thereby 
 deeply offended the self-complacency of four- 
 teen - fifteenths of my collective client ! " Which 
 is it?" was eagerly asked on every side, each
 
 184 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 man expecting the honor of being deemed the 
 most intelligible, if not the most sagacious. 
 
 "It is Mr, Lounch's — 'What is to be done 
 _with the deed V " 
 
 I had no time allowed me however, to answer 
 it, or probably they thought six-and-eightpence 
 too high a price, for the hubbub immediately 
 recommenced. 
 
 " I move that it be taken to the bankers." 
 " I move an amendment, that it be deposited 
 in our own safe." 
 
 " I propose that it shall be left in the solicitor's 
 charge." 
 
 " The trustees should have the custody of it! " 
 " It more properl}' belongs to the chair ! " 
 " Let it be sold to the tailor for measures," 
 moved Gribble, "we shall at least save some- 
 thing by that." 
 
 And motion followed motion, and amend- 
 ment supplanted amendment, till the quiet man 
 of fifty at length put an end to the disturbance 
 by suggesting an inquir}^ of the deed itself, 
 which of course provided properly for all such 
 treasures. The board, glad to be relieved, then 
 determined its sitting; but its absurdities were 
 CO -existent with its term of collective life.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 185 
 
 Let not my readers suppose that this is a 
 mere sketch of fancy, got up in the same spirit 
 of exaggerated representation in wlii(.-h \ve lind 
 all the scenes of bubble companies delineated 
 by the humorists of the day ; I have varied 
 names a little to avoid beino- charsred with libel, 
 but I have studiouslv refrained from overcharo'- 
 ing the tacts, or it v^^ould have been easy to have 
 added much ridicule to this description ; I doubt 
 not but many will be able to draw a parallel 
 from their own experience: were I not afi-aid 
 of identifying the actors, I could multiply 
 tenfold such scenes from real life. I will ven- 
 ture to give one more, because coupled with 
 the last, it conveys a useful hint to the young- 
 attorney as to his 1)cliavior in such dignified 
 presence. 
 
 The eligibility of a furtlier investment in the 
 purchase of a contiguous property had been the 
 subject of discussion ; the case scarcely admitted 
 of a doubt, if the speculation was to proceed at 
 all, but where a dozen individuals are to decide 
 (in any question, though as clear as the sun at 
 noon -day, there will assuredly be a dozen doubts 
 .suggested, and a dozen speeches of irresistible 
 force and point, not one of which has any ob^i.-
 
 186 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 ous bearing on the subject. A great deal of 
 this kind of oratory had been alread}^ expended, 
 when I was called in to advise my hydra -headed 
 client. The usual ivory -hammer preliminaries 
 being settled, I was addressed by the chairman 
 with unwonted solemnity, the spirit of contra- 
 diction and interruption having been laid by 
 exorcisms of unusual power. 
 
 " Take a chair, Mr. Sharpe : draw nearer if 
 you please. Sir ; I am rather hoarse to-day." 
 
 " A little this way, if you please. Sir," begged 
 a venerable gentleman, who always pleaded deaf- 
 ness for density of understanding; "I am anxi- 
 ous to hear you." 
 
 "Do come forward. Sir;" tartly interposed 
 Mr. Gribble, " I have several questions to put 
 to you;" and at length, having adjusted my place 
 and my chair to the seeming satisfaction of all 
 parties, the chairman proceeded. 
 
 " The board has been occupied for an hour, 
 Mr. Sharpe," — 
 
 " An hour and three-quarters b}'- my watch," 
 interrupted Mr. Lounch. 
 
 " Well, Lounch, it don't matter; the board 
 has been engaged for a long time, Sir," — 
 
 "Too long by half," exclaimed Gribble, who
 
 IN SEAKCH OF PRACTICE. 187 
 
 I found had been the chief talker for the wliole 
 sitting. 
 
 "Mr. Gribble, I must entreat silence; the 
 board, Mr. Sharpe, has been considering whether 
 it should avail itself of an unexpected oppor- 
 tunity"— 
 
 "A new symptom," observed Dr. Flaboth- 
 am. 
 
 " Really, Doctor, I must appeal to the board, 
 if I am thus interrupted — really" — "Chair, 
 chair," resounded from every quarter. " I am 
 paralyzed," said the Doctor, and the chairman 
 resumed with graceful perturbation : 
 
 " I am extremely sorry, gentlemen, to com- 
 plain of any disregard to my authority, as 
 chairman, but the delicate and very important 
 duty I have to discharge, while I have the dis- 
 tinguished honor of filling this chair" — here 
 his voice was drowned in loud and reiterated 
 cries of hear ! hear ! that overpowered his mod- 
 esty while they appeased his transient dis- 
 pleasure, and at length in a tone of elevated 
 dignity, he pursued his address to me. 
 
 " You will have gathered from what I have 
 already said, Mr. Sharpe, that this is a question 
 of very complicated and difficult character, and
 
 188 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 the board is desirous, indeed I may say anxious, 
 to hear your sentiments upon it. 
 
 Here he paused and looked steadily at me. I 
 returned the look in expecting silence ; his com- 
 peers, one and all, assumed an attitude of fixed 
 attention ; and for the first time that I had ever 
 assisted in their consultation, a pin might have 
 been heard to drop. 
 
 "Well, Mr. Sharpe, what is your opinion?" 
 
 " "What do you say to it, Mr. Sharpe ? what 
 will the costs be?" added Gribble ; while five 
 or six more chimed in with similar interroe-a- 
 tions. It was a painful position ; for neither 
 case nor question had yet been stated, nor the 
 most distant hint given except by Gribble's in- 
 quiry about the costs, as to the matter of then- 
 two hours' debate : it was clear however, that 
 every man at the table considered that I had 
 been furnished with ample materials to form my 
 expected judgment. I had no alternative but 
 to confess my dullness. 
 
 " Not having heard your previous discussion, 
 I do not quite catch the point, Mr. Chairman." 
 
 " That is very extraordinary. Sir; I thought 
 I had expressed myself clearly ; but I will repeat 
 my explanation. We have been offered the
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 189 
 
 property of , Avbich you are aware, abuts 
 
 on our principal mine, at a price which all thiugs 
 considered, is above the mark certain] j — " 
 
 " By £2,800," observed Mr. Lounch. 
 
 " There you are quite out," said Gribble, "by 
 at least £10,000, if you leave out the costs; 
 and they will probably be £10,000 more." 
 
 ''I avail myself of this opportunity for to 
 give notice that next board - day I shall move 
 that all costs sent in by Mr. Sharpe, be taxed 
 in the usual manner," said a Mr. Sniggle, a 
 vinegar - faeed, elderly gentleman, who had 
 acquired a large fortune during the war, by 
 certain practices in a foreign port, that com- 
 bined much of the character of smuggling and 
 treasonable aid to an enemy in open hostilities. 
 
 "I have long entertained the same purpose 
 myself, Sniggle ; and I am prepared with some 
 very laborious calculations to prove that Mr. 
 Sharpe's bills have hitherto been a charge of 
 one shilling and three half- pence per cent., on 
 every investment, besides coals and candles for 
 his office, which I move be no longer allowed!" 
 
 " Did you take in the cart-load of sheepskin, 
 Pinchpenny ? " 
 
 " Gentlemen, we are digressing from the
 
 190 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 point : I must call you to order. I believe, 
 ]\rr. Sharpe, you now comprehend very clearly 
 the difBculty we feel, and we shall be obliged 
 to you to state your sentiments." 
 
 But this same digression about costs had by 
 no means tended to clarify my bewildered 
 thoughts, though the acrimonious and even 
 spiteful tone of it, served to show the character 
 of their recent controversy. 
 
 "I am somewhat doubtful, Sir, — " but I 
 was not permitted to finish the sentence, half a 
 dozen pitching into me at once, with vindictive 
 pleasure. 
 
 " You doubtful, Mr. Sharpe ! why you voted 
 us all fools the other day, because you could 
 not understand our questions ! " 
 
 " Ay : there was only one, you thought, that 
 required an answer." 
 
 " Some people are so wise that they never see 
 anybody's meaning but their own." 
 
 " If it were a long bill, Sharpe, you'd under- 
 stand it fast enough." 
 
 And many such kind speeches uttered with 
 every variety of intonation, but each partaking 
 largely of the bark malicious, not only gave 
 me time to think, but unluckily to grow
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 191 
 
 warm. Alas ! it is very difficult for youth to 
 submit to unmerited reproach, and that too 
 from illiberal and ignorant lips; but I have 
 often been taught the lesson since. 
 
 " I see your difficulty, gentlemen. You 
 want to buy the property, but not to pay the 
 costs ! I am the last man to consult on such a 
 point, so I beg leave to withdraw." 
 
 I did withdraw: for I had good reason to 
 complain. I had never yet delivered them a 
 full bill, as we technically call it; yet mod- 
 erate as my charges were, they were never paid 
 without grudging scrutiny and penurious hesi- 
 tation. It seemed apparent to me that this 
 very interview had been sought to make a dead 
 set at me about costs, from vindictive resent- 
 ment at my ill-timed pleasantry in the pre- 
 ceding week, and I could scarcely conceal the 
 disgust and indignation that I felt. I was 
 visited next day with a vote of censure, and a 
 menace of dismission, but it was vox et prceterea 
 nihil; for in less than a month the company 
 was dissolved, when every man among them 
 came to me, privately, to complain of the 
 grasping and selfish spirit of his coadjutors, 
 and to consult me how he might most securely
 
 192 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOllNEY 
 
 protect himself from contribution to the gen- 
 eral loss ? I spontaneously relinquished my 
 claim for all the costs of the society's forma- 
 tion, and pocketed but seventy pounds by all 
 its operations ; yet the failure sprung from no 
 fault of mine, nor yet of the projector, nor 
 even from any inherent defect in the project 
 itself; but from the stock -jobbing character of 
 my Avorthy directors, who thereby forfeited the 
 confidence of the shareholders, and of course 
 could not raise the funds necessary to complete 
 their contracts. 
 
 It is of very little consequence what may be 
 the outward and visible form of your " collective 
 client." A parish vestry, or a corporation 
 court, or any other body of associated wisdom, 
 is equally tyrannical, illiberal, and absurd in 
 all its ojQicial proceedings, except in those cases 
 where such assemblies are compelled to act 
 under the check of publicity, and exposed by 
 the press to the constant observation of their 
 constituents. Quickness, both of eye and ear, 
 good -temper, calm self-possession, and caution 
 bordering on reserve, are the only qualities by 
 which their legal adviser can hope to gain their 
 confidence, or appl}' his infiuence successfully
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 193 
 
 to niaiiage tliem. He will not be the less a 
 fool liowcvcr, if he attempt to propitiate such 
 clients hy any s[)()ntaneous deduction from his 
 legitimate charges. Such deductions are con- 
 sidered, not as liberal and gratuitous conces- 
 sions, but as admissions of the justice of com- 
 plaint, and of course as apologies for future 
 and more rigorous taxation. I have already 
 dwelt on the general subject of costs ; I content 
 myself with adding that the remark which I 
 have before made is peculiarly applicable to 
 "collective clients;" that there is no inter- 
 inediate course between charging every penn}- 
 to which you are reasonably entitled, or charg- 
 ing nothing: no credit whatever is obtained by 
 a compromise. 
 
 A principle of equal importance in every 
 collision with clients of this class is to avoid 
 all struggle on the question of power. It re- 
 quires much self-command to practice this 
 forbearance, I admit, for the frivolous rules 
 continually introduced, and vexatiously en- 
 forced by small-minded masters, often try the 
 temper most seriously. One man wants busi- 
 ness to be done in this way, and another in that ; 
 ]SIr. Brown suggests a daily report of progress,
 
 194 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 £111(1 Mr. Smith never wants a report at all; nay, 
 ill matters too trivial for even a passing sugges- 
 tion, the same meddling interference is eternally 
 exhibited. I have known two hours spent in 
 solemn discussion whether official letters should 
 be written on note paper or foolscap. I have 
 heard a debate adjourned from week to week 
 for a month together, on the mighty question, 
 whether the secretary should sit on the chair- 
 man's right hand or his left ! at the same board 
 or at a separate table ! ! ! and times out of 
 number have I been required to prepare sche- 
 dules, vouch for copies, or check calculations 
 Avholly foreign to my duties, and for which 
 costs have been refused; and yet so far from 
 tliinking they asked a favor in thus murdering 
 my professional time, the instructions have 
 been issued in the high mandatory tone of " an 
 order of the board !!!'*' but petty annoyances 
 like these must be borne with calm philosophy. 
 Cases may arise where this official tyranny is 
 carried to the extent of insult, alike destructive 
 of personal comfort and professional respecta- 
 bility; and in such cases, when personal re- 
 sponsibility attaches to no individual, firm 
 remonstrance becomes a duty. Here, however,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 195 
 
 the attorney must be particularly on his guard ; 
 the only court of appeal is the body of share- 
 holders, ^dth whom the directors must be 
 presumed to have paramount influence; to 
 avoid the hazard of an open conflict with the 
 shareholders, or to guard against the mischief 
 of it, if it proves inevitable, it will be prudent 
 to reduce remonstrance to writing, and to em- 
 body in it every substantial ground of com- 
 plaint : this, if done pointedly, yet temperately, 
 will prove an indictment on which, even in the 
 pride of power, few directors will like to be 
 arraigned; but like all well -drawn indictments, 
 it must be clear, certain, and precise; for no 
 public assembl}' will listen to or understand 
 voluminous statements ; a man is ruined who 
 seeks justice from a jury, whether of twelve or 
 twelve hundred, through a mass of complicated 
 detail. But precautions like these, though by 
 possibility they may be required, and therefore 
 it is my duty to mention them, can only be 
 necessary in extreme cases. With " collective 
 clients," as with individuals, long experience 
 of a man's value will secure his just influence, 
 and though associated bodies are rarely 
 manageable, and too often irrational in their
 
 V)6 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 proceedings, I have long been connected with 
 many not less liberal and indulgent, than the}' 
 are turbulent and troublesome. The " Jicuic 
 ceuiam petirnusque damusque vicissim," is a prin- 
 ciple that long acquaintance, where it generates 
 mutual esteem, as it always will do among 
 honorable men, vnW assuredly introduce into 
 the daily transactions of business, till pardon 
 becomes unnecessary, because provocation is 
 never given. 
 
 As there are sundry little artifices in eveiy 
 trade, by which its manipular operations are 
 facilitated, so there are some rules that we may 
 almost term mechanical, by which we may 
 conveniently govern our intercourse with 
 " collective clients." It is very easy to lay 
 down general moral principles of self-com- 
 mand, patience, good -humor, and so forth, 
 and the scenes that I have been describing 
 explain, to a certain extent, how to reduce 
 these principles to practice ; but I may usefully 
 mention a few maxims that do not so readily 
 present themselves to beginners. Young law- 
 yers always labor under a false impression, as 
 to the degree of weight attached to their 
 opinion, even on such legal points as they are
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 197 
 
 . / . -^ '^■-J 
 
 expressly invitccl to explain : tliej consequentfy' 
 ussame a high position at the very commence- 
 ment of the conference ; " lay down the law," 
 as it is called, in a dosrmatical manner ; a-iv.' 
 the go-by to any question of which they do 
 not immediately perceive the drift ; and answer 
 others precipitately and decidedly, under the 
 impression that any hesitation will he ascribed 
 to ignorance, while any error they may commit 
 will pass unheeded by men avowedly ignorant 
 of law. A certain measure of self-confidence 
 is unquestionably necessary to give confidence 
 to others ; but if this axiom is carried too far, 
 it is highly impolitic in a large and mixed 
 circle, where some one or other is almost 
 certain to be found who can justly discriminate 
 between the self-confidence of knowledo-e, and 
 the assurance of mock experience. The man 
 gifted with this discrimination is usually the 
 man of most influence, though silent]}^ exerted ; 
 and if he imbibes an unfavorable opinion of 
 the solicitor, that opinion will of course work 
 to his serious prejudice in the long run. Hence 
 niv first counsel to the beginner is to allow full 
 scope to all the eagerness of debate and appeal, 
 before he interposes a word of advice ; to listen
 
 198 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 cautiously and closely to every question and 
 every remark, relevant or irrelevant, proceed 
 from whom it may ; and especially to be on 
 the watch to discover on which side the most 
 quiet and most acknowledged members of thr 
 board have ranged themselves. Akin to this 
 suggestion, is another not less applicable to 
 single clients, than it is to an assembled body 
 of them, — to evade all reply till every essential 
 point has been clearly explained, and every 
 written document to which allusion may have 
 been made, is fairly before him. I have often 
 been reduced to the unpleasant necessity of re- 
 tracting, or at least qualifying and softening 
 down an expressed opinion, because I have after- 
 wards found that not one half of the important 
 facts had been communicated to me. Clients 
 rarely appreciate as they deserve, minor and 
 collateral circumstances; though it often hap- 
 pens that on these it altogether depends, 
 whether their case can be distinguished from 
 one already decided, or be made an exception 
 to an established principle of law. With two 
 cautions of yet higher practical importance, I 
 will take my leave of the subject of " collective 
 clients." I^ever allow yourself to be hurried
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 199 
 
 into au answer to any serious question, till it is 
 reduced to writing ; and be equally careful to 
 observe the same ceremony with your opinion. 
 Quod scriptmn remanet, is a motto that should 
 be inscribed over everv office -door. It is as 
 protective to the honest man, as it is incon- 
 venient to the knave. 
 
 It will occur at times, especially after any 
 warm and protracted discussion, that having 
 given your opinion on the point at issue, one 
 or two of the party will straggle afterwards 
 into your office, ostensibly to talk over the 
 subject, but in reality to give vent to irritation 
 against one or more of their noisv colleao-ues. 
 This opportunity of earwigging the board is 
 tempting, when in its confusion you have been 
 unable to obtain proper attention, or have suf- 
 fered from its collective injustice; but it must 
 be avoided It is inconcei^^able to what extent 
 the several members of such republican gov- 
 ernments are jealous of each other. A private 
 interview, or an ex ixirte discussion with the 
 solicitor, is invariably regarded as the signal 
 for general disturbance. In the row that fol- 
 lows, the officer is sacrificed as a peace-offering 
 to restore the harmony of the board, and all
 
 200 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 the TOiRiinderstanding is empliatically ascribed 
 to his underhand manoeuvres. It cannot be 
 too strongly laid down that perfect openness, 
 and straight -forward dealing, essential as they 
 are to the peace as well as the respectability of 
 all men, are indispensable to the very existence, 
 in an official sense, of the attorney of " col- 
 lective clients."
 
 IN SEIARCH OF PRACTICE. 201 
 
 CHAPTER XIY. 
 
 " Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false 
 knaves: it will go near to be thought so shortly." 
 
 Much Ado about Nothing. 
 
 By the time I bad acquired the experimental 
 knowledge which I have here endeavored to 
 impart, I fonnd myself pretty well versed in 
 the art of clientiziner; hnt clients are bv no 
 means the only people an attorney has to deal 
 with ! in truth, our only object ^vith them is to 
 keep them; but there are other folks of whom 
 we are only anxious to get quit, as soon as 
 business will allow us ; these are our profes- 
 sional brethren ! I need scarcely observe that 
 I write only for such young men as are enter- 
 ing on their legal career with the honest and 
 commendable intention of acquiring a station 
 in the respectable class of the profession ; a 
 station that can only be acquired by respectable 
 
 business, carried on in a respectable; manner. 
 9-
 
 202 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 There is no term, however, in use in our pro- 
 fession, so general and yet so equivocal as this 
 same word " respectable." By a sort of con- 
 ventional rule, the appellation is liberally 
 bestowed on every attorney, of whatever class 
 and however moderate his pretensions, so long 
 as he has, whether by ingenuity or good luck, 
 contrived to escape a hostile motion to strike 
 him off the roll. My construction of the word 
 is somewhat more rigorous; I will explain 
 myself by negatives — by describing that class 
 of business, and those men who, in my estima- 
 tion, are decidedly 7iot respectable. I am 
 happy to say that in this portion of my task I 
 speak from report, not from personal knowl- 
 edge, but I will only mention such matters as I 
 firmly believe have been given to me on good 
 a,uthority. 
 
 Before I describe the 7i07i- respectable of our 
 body, it may be expedient to advert very briefly 
 to our relative position in society, as a profes- 
 sional class; for without a little explanation on 
 that head, it is very difficult to conceive how 
 such a medley of extremes should be found in 
 a common pursuit, where a common system of 
 education is adopted, from an age generally so
 
 rX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 203 
 
 earlv that the taste and habits of the pupil can 
 not be supposed to have been previously 
 formed. It must be confessed tliat till witliiu 
 the last forty or fifty years, an attorney's title 
 to be ranked even among tlie middle classes of 
 society, was very equivocaL Mr. Latitat was 
 the rogue of every farce — the knave of everv 
 novel : his occupation made him adroit and 
 intelligent, but it also made him suspected; it 
 fi'equently brought him into personal contact 
 with the dishonest and degraded, and he 
 acquired, often undeservedly, a taint of reputa- 
 tion from the verv circumstance that enabled 
 him to understand, and bv understandino- to 
 defeat, the arts and stratagems of villainy. 
 Legal business itself was at this period of a 
 very inferior stamp : now and then cases might 
 arise on family settlements — on real titles — on 
 complicated relations of debtor and creditor — 
 or doubtful customs in trade or commerce; 
 but these were comparatively rare, and by no 
 means constituted the bulk of legal practice; 
 that was to be found in petty personal disputes 
 or delinquencies — in small controversy between 
 small people. Law too, like everything else, 
 was comparatively cheap, and even the bar,
 
 204 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 though always to a certain extent the resource 
 of pauper -aristocracy, was scarcely regarded 
 in any other light than a refuge for the desti- 
 tute, suited to the j^oungest sons of younger 
 brothers, who had no turn for the army, and 
 no character for the church. In our days, 
 though this inferior business still remains, and 
 is even extended as population has extended, 
 and the lower classes have acquired greater 
 property, yet it by no means forms the prin- 
 cipal inducement to enter the profession. So 
 intimately has commerce become interwoven 
 with law, in all its branches, that there is 
 scarcely any important transaction in which 
 the merchant can engage, that does not more 
 or less require the counsel of his solicitor, till 
 long familiarity with the subject has made him 
 half a lawyer himself. The law of insurance, 
 the law of principal and factor, of lien, of 
 partnership, of bankruptcy, of bills of ex- 
 change, and many other heads that might be 
 mentioned, enter into the daily affairs of the 
 (Counting -house. So many, too, of our patri- 
 cian families have of late years found it con- 
 venient to place their sons in mercantile, or 
 J^anking houses, and consequently to raise
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 205 
 
 capital by the mortgage or sale of their patri- 
 monial estates, tliat questions of pure convey- 
 ancing often become entangled with commer- 
 cial law; and the nobleman, not less than the 
 merchant, is thrown more frequently and more 
 entirely into the hands of his attorney. The 
 immense increase of public companies and 
 parliamentary business, and even the growing 
 importance and independence of our colonies, 
 have largely contributed to swell the stream of 
 professional profit, and at the same time to 
 purify its source, by giving a legitimate and 
 acknowledged value to the solicitor's services. 
 This gradual elevation of our duties has natur- 
 ally led to the introduction among us of many 
 young men from that rank of life, who, less 
 than half a century ago, ^vould have spurned 
 t)ie calling as derogatory to their birth ; and 
 attorneys in the higher walks of the profession, 
 have in many instances, established for them- 
 selves an acknowledged title to rank with the 
 first circles ; though I do not say the most 
 fashionable, for I by no means class these 
 among the most worth}-, or the most import- 
 ant ; but though by this accession of better 
 born, and therefore generally better educated
 
 206 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 men, we have improved our social position, 
 and can now ennmerate hundreds among us, 
 wlio are not less gentlemen by birth, by feeling, 
 and by manners, than we are by act of parlia- 
 ment, there still remains too much of that low 
 business which was once the staple of out 
 trade, not to attract many low people into the 
 profession ; the rather because if once admitted 
 there, the best prizes are as open to them as to 
 others, if by happy accident they can insinu- 
 ate themselves into the first or second class of 
 competition : indeed to be an attorney is itself 
 a great step in life, a sort of gentility of station, 
 in the estimate of the lower ranks of shopkeep- 
 ers and mechanics ; nor does it require any 
 great outlay of money to give a son a title to 
 the name, provided no lavish expenditure has 
 been made in his previous education. Let it 
 not be supposed that I feel contempt for this 
 laudable and even humble ambition; far from 
 it, for I profess principles too liberal, as well in 
 politics as I trust in Christian faith, to deride 
 it ; but I still think myself at liberty to pro- 
 test against the absurdity, as well as the silly 
 pretension of placing a boy of sixteen in an 
 attorney's office, without any preparatory edu-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 207 
 
 cation beyond the Latin grarninar, and too 
 often less than that, simply to qualify him to 
 be a gentleman, whilst his brothers are tinkers 
 and tailors, and his father a Bow-street runner 
 or 8heriff''s officer. 
 
 I have digressed a little, however, from my 
 subject. I only wish to explain how it hap- 
 pens, that in a profession which is now justly 
 esteemed a liberal one, and in which we daih- 
 meet with men well qualified to adorn any 
 rank of life, we should yet more frequently fall 
 in with others whose manners would exclude 
 them from our servants' hall, and whose char- 
 acters would compel us to count our spoons, if 
 by any accident they gained admission there. 
 It is but too true that we have among- us a 
 large body of adventurers, who have little edu- 
 cation, less principle, and neither capital nor 
 connexion. It is probable that in some in- 
 stances their friends have selected them for 
 attorneys, because they have early exhibited a 
 predilection for that speculative inquiry' into 
 the rights of property, which, by a more sum- 
 mary process, leads those who have no relatives 
 to the gallows 
 
 There ai-e various ways by which these ad-
 
 208 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 venturerB contrive to work out a livelihood in 
 a " respectable " manner. The secret of their 
 art is to establish a familiar acquaintance with 
 any humble class where the ceremon}- of spe- 
 cial introduction is of small account, and in 
 the words of the play, to " push it as far as it 
 will go." There are many classes of this de- 
 scription daily to be found in our crowded 
 metropolis ; and all of them, either from their 
 helpless ignorance, or dishonest pursuits, stand 
 in daily need of " a professional adviser." 
 Among the helpless, may be enumerated the 
 thoughtless sailor just returned from sea — the 
 inferior tradesman trembling on the verge of 
 bankruptcy — the pigeon who, after plucking, 
 hesitates between reform and desperation — the 
 ruined spendthrift, but expectant heir — and yet 
 more frequently the beggared gentleman that 
 prefers enjoying his last hundred within the 
 prison -walls, to dividing it among fifty ci-edi- 
 tors at the rate of sixpence in the pound. The 
 dishonest class is, perhaps, less accessible, but 
 far more profitable : it consists of cent per cent 
 money-lenders and annuity - mongers ; of bro- 
 kers who will discount a six months' bill on 
 the security of a watch or a well-secui^ed post-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 209 
 
 obit; hell -proprietors and blacklegs of Regent 
 street and St. James's; swindlers of the turf; 
 smugglers bj profession ; " fences " of the lanes 
 and alleys of the town, including of course nine- 
 tenths of the pawn - brokers and dealers in 
 marine stores ; and finallj', all the thieves and 
 pickpockets in the bills of mortality. 
 
 It may excite a little wonder among the un- 
 initiated, how any attorney, however poor or 
 adventurous, can find it worth while to seek for 
 clients in the first of these wretched classes ; 
 and it is true enough that if on first acquaint- 
 ance, he finds them in utter destitution, that 
 acquaintance will be but a short one; but 
 even among the poorest, there are often decent 
 pickings to be found. A glass of grog with 
 an open-hearted seaman in a public- house at 
 Wapping will extract the whole history of his 
 hardships, his hopes, and his disappointments 
 for the last ten years of his life; his tales of 
 sad mishaps will win the heart of his legal 
 auditor, as surely as Desdemona's; sympathy 
 begets confidence; and in less than an hour, 
 the sympathizing friend receives instructions 
 for a dozen actions against captain, mate, and 
 owners, for sundry assaults, and false imprison-
 
 210 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 ments, and u long arrear of unpaid wages : 
 witnesses are found on board as surely as if 
 they Avere entered in the ship's manifest ; and 
 as one good turn deserves another, the plaintiti" 
 and the witnesses frequently change places, and 
 endless litigation is extracted from a single 
 glass of rum and water. K the affair is com- 
 promised by ten or twenty pounds, paid by the 
 defendant to get out of the scrape in the short- 
 est and cheapest way, the attorney and his 
 client go shares (the first taking the lion's part), 
 and the poor sailor recommends his kind and 
 disinterested friend to lialf the merchant service. 
 A dozen of such adventures — and his fortune 
 is made ! So in the other cases, the tottering 
 shop-keeper will accept bills for a thousand, to 
 get the temporary aid of lift}' pounds, and 
 pledge all his last year's stock as security, at a 
 tenth of the cost -price: a fiat of bankruptcy 
 speedily follows ; and his friend in need is the 
 first to help him out of the difficulty, and 
 insure his certificate by proving for the thou- 
 sand pounds : the plucked pigeon will stake his 
 soul for one more chance at the tables, and the 
 legal adventurer would sell it to the devil for 
 six -pence beyond the sum advanced: the
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 211 
 
 ruined spendthrift is equally ready to charge 
 his res^ersion at five hundred per cent, pro- 
 vided the cash is imm.ediately forthcoming, and 
 gratefully recommends his " friends " to every 
 expectant heir in her Majesty's household 
 troops : the heggared gentleman, after two 
 weeks' confinement, speculates on being dis- 
 charged, and having perchance, forty pounds 
 still left, gives thirty of it to "his lawyer" to 
 " carrv him throuo-h " the court. 
 
 But the dishonest trade is a better thing by 
 far. It requires some dexterity to gain a locus 
 standi in it : a man must not be too nice, and 
 the less he says about character the better ; a 
 little hard, but clever swearing now and then, 
 will stand him in good stead ; for nothing tells 
 more with clients of this class, than a dexterity 
 in drawing safe afiidavits. Let an attorney 
 once " get his name up " for this, and he has 
 bought a free admission for life into the whole 
 fraternity; and then there are indeed glorious 
 opportunities, the least of them not to be des- 
 pised ! — suits in equity to set aside annuity 
 transactions; colorable bills of sale, to defeat 
 the executions of just creditors ; assigneeships of 
 bankrupt estates; gaming-house prosecutions;
 
 212 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 and, "sweeter far," their compromise; ex- 
 chequer informations and qui tarn actions, — 
 language fails to enumerate a tenth part of the 
 prolific sources of practice to the happy man 
 who once secures the aifections of the charming 
 set. The husiness of the Old Bailey is a step 
 lower, but even here, much " good can be 
 done : " it is no bad thing to have the run of 
 !N"ewgate, and be cock of the walk at Clerken- 
 well Sessions -house. Independently of the 
 sweets of the police -ofiice, and the profitable 
 eclat of daily figuring in the newspaper reports, 
 as " attending to watch " a score of cases in 
 every part of the metropolis, it is notorious that 
 when a thief is once captured in a " lagging " 
 matter, he begins to set his aftairs in order; 
 and many of these fellows are " well oif in the 
 world," having abundant occasion for pro- 
 fessional assistance in the operation. The 
 special advantage of all business of this des- 
 cription is the certainty of payment ; from the 
 nature of the case, there can be no trust, and 
 consequently there are no bills of costs ; every 
 thing is done for ready money, and for a round 
 sum — two guineas, ten, twenty, according to 
 the emergency and the client's means ; and if
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 213 
 
 the client is liangecl, there the matter ends, 
 without taxation and without comphiint. 
 
 There is still another class of legal adven- 
 turers who are a scale higher in the estimation 
 of the world, hut with very little higher merit; 
 they are men who prowl about for bad debts, 
 and dishonored bills: they call on tradesmen 
 of the better order at Midsummer or Christmas, 
 as punctually as the tax-gatherers, and inquire 
 the extent of bad and doubtful debts in their 
 ledger : they buy them up according to circum- 
 stances, and obtain a rich harvest, if thev can 
 purchase five or six hundred pounds due from 
 a score of customers, at five shillings in the 
 pound; twenty actions are thus secured, and 
 as many writs issued on returning to office ; in 
 half they recover nothing but the costs ; if in 
 the remaining ten they can manage to average 
 ten shillings in the pound, they are indem- 
 nified for the purchase -money, and pocket the 
 costs of twenty actions by the adventure, be- 
 sides the frequent chance of being incidentally 
 introduced to some half- ruined man, who 
 wants an attorney's aid to get whitewashed by 
 bankruptcy, or the insolvent court. 
 
 Thus I have explained the character of those
 
 214 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 whom I exclude from the " respectable " class 
 of my profession, whatever others may call 
 them ; and these are the attorneys of whom T 
 always feel a painful anxiety to get quit as soon 
 as decency will allow ; but some address is re- 
 quired to manage one's intercourse with them, 
 when driven by necessity into communication. 
 There is one peculiarity of disposition insepar- 
 able from such fellows. They invariable try to 
 snap some advantage at your personal cost, 
 and if they fail, they uniformly pick a quarrel 
 about nothing ; so certainly is it the case, that 
 in common with all my liberal brethren, I am 
 accustomed to infer the quality of a man's 
 clients by the " sharpness " of his practice, as 
 it is termed, and I set him down for an Old 
 Bailey attorney as a matter of course, if I find 
 him grasping at undue advantage, or losing his 
 temper in the attempt; a coarse, bullying 
 manner, and disingenuous disposition, may be 
 fairly assumed to indicate the accustomed 
 accociate of thieves and blacklegs ; they always 
 do with me, and it is one of the few points on 
 which I have never found myself mistaken. 
 
 There are three important rules to be 
 observed in dealing with these men, and by
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 215 
 
 close attention to them, the most inexperienced 
 solicitor on the roll may escape unscathed. 
 
 The first is never to be seduced into any 
 " without prejudice " negotiation ; always keep 
 them at arm's length, and hold strictly to the 
 rights, as well as the rules of business : these 
 sort of men are rarely formidable in lair open 
 fight, and with very few exceptions are as 
 profoundly ignorant of law, as they are shrewd 
 and over- reaching in practice; therefore lay 
 yourself under no obligation to them for time, 
 for admissions, for concession of any kind ; nor 
 ever hope to benefit your client by amicable 
 overtures of reference or arrangement out of 
 court : 3"ou cannot, it is true, safely assume 
 that their honest wish is to try the issue, and 
 that consequently they are insincere in any 
 attempts to anticipate the result by less e: 
 pensive process; for too many of them con- 
 tract with their clients to " carry them through" 
 for a given sum, and hence they are gainers by 
 an abrupt termination of the suit; but as a 
 general maxim, take it for granted that a 
 " sharp practicer" will force litigation to the 
 utmost possible extremity, if his client is a 
 man of substance; and therefore that all over-
 
 216 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 tures of compromise are only made to increase 
 costs by discussion, or gain time till some 
 absent witness is forthcoming. Meet liini 
 therefore in court, and meet him no where else. 
 I have often been trapped by the honest desire 
 of getting my client as well as myself out of 
 such dirty hands, into costly discussion, but I 
 never once succeeded in the extruation on 
 better terms than I should have obtained by an 
 adverse verdict. My second rule is to abjure 
 all personal comnmnication with suspected 
 men : very little direct intercourse is necessary 
 with the opposite attorney in the ordinary 
 course of an action, and what little is indis- 
 pensable, can be managed better, and far more 
 safely in writing than verbally; even letters 
 should be dry and laconic, consisting of little 
 more than the date, subscription, and address, 
 and the simple monosyllabic reply of " yes " or 
 "no" between the formal parts. But if, as 
 does sometimes occur, the man's impudence 
 will force an interview, and you cannot pru- 
 dently kick him down stairs, my third rule is 
 of the utmost importance, namely, to master all 
 your establishment as witnesses of your misfortune: 
 I am not enjoining caution that I do not prac-
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 217 
 
 tice. Some years ago an attorney called on 
 me — a man whose word I would not have 
 credited had he pledged it with a halter round 
 his neck. The door from my own office into 
 my clerk's was wide ajar, and he saw me at my 
 desk as he stealthily entered ; however, he had 
 the decency to ask, 
 
 " Is Mr. Sharpe at home ?" 
 "N'o;" replied the clerk. 
 " ^o ! why I see him in his office." 
 " He is not at home, Sir." 
 "Well, I must speak to his ghost then," he 
 rejoined, approaching my room ; there was no 
 time to be lost; I rose from my seat, rushed 
 into the clerk's office, nearlv overturnino: the 
 intruder in mv haste, and auirrilv exclaimed to 
 my clerk, "What do you mean by this, you 
 young rascal? did I not tell you when Mr. 
 Tricker called, to deny me ? I tell you I am 
 not at home, Sir ; I am attending the Common 
 Pleas!" and slamming the door in his face, 
 and audibly turning the key, I left him aghast 
 at finding for once his own impudence out- 
 done ! He left the place as soon as he recovered 
 from his amazement, and I never was trouljled 
 
 by him again. It is not always so easy to 
 10
 
 2] 8 ADVENTUllES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 release yourself, and if you are condemned to 
 be closeted, and rudeness is out of place, the 
 simple course is to ring fortliwitli for your 
 common law clerk, and desire him to search 
 fur a letter of the oOth of February last, in the 
 largest bundle of papers in the room ! You 
 have no other chance of safety Avith a professed 
 affidavit- monger. 
 
 These are the sort of men of whom, as I 
 have observed, I always wish to get rid as soon 
 as possible ; it is to be lamented, however, that 
 even among the worthiest of the profession, 
 there are men to be found as difficult to 
 numage, though for very different reasons. It 
 must be owned that there is a something in the 
 nature of our daily duty, harassed as we are 
 by a multiplicity of minute details, and hourly 
 irritated by the absurdities of clients, the care- 
 less blunders of clerks, and the excitement of 
 all litiijcation, that tends to exacerbate the 
 temper ; though nine times out of ten I have 
 found that the direst feuds between principals, 
 have originated in the quarrels and misstate- 
 ments of their respective clerks. The young- 
 gentlemen, in their impetuous zeal for their 
 employers' interest, are but too prone to exhibit
 
 IN SEAKCH OF PRACTICE. 219 
 
 their small powers iri grasping at a small 
 advantage, and where tliej succeed, to aggra- 
 vate the mortification of their rival by exulta- 
 tion, — where they fail, to vent their spleen by 
 insult. This contemptible rivalry displays 
 itself more in that bear-garden, the master's 
 office, on taxation of costs, than on any other 
 occasion. A squabble of half an hour about 
 three - and - sixpence sends both parties home in 
 the temper of wild cats ; they report the scene ; 
 the attorney espouses the angry feelings of his 
 clerk, instead of rebuking him for his ungen- 
 tlemanly temper; and the princij^als become 
 imperceptibly involved in recriminating corre- 
 spondence, followed up by a host of alternate 
 applications to the court, that serve nobody but 
 some hungry junior who acquires briefs by his 
 skill in practice. I remember a contest of this 
 kind carried on between one of the first offices 
 in London, and a little deformed attorney of 
 the very lowest stamp, which lasted for several 
 years with varying success, till at last it was 
 referred to the master to decide on which side the 
 pecuniary balance lay. On setting ofi" costs on 
 one side against costs on the other, to the 
 amount of more than three hundred pounds on
 
 220 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 either, the balance due to the successful party 
 Avas exactly £4. Ss. 2d. ! The whole of this 
 mighty feud began in the irregular service of 
 an attachment for non-payment of some 
 fifteen pounds of costs, but enough vindictive 
 feeling was displayed to have done credit to a 
 Highland or American chief. It is our duty 
 to uphold our clerks where they are decidedly 
 right; it is not less so to rel)uke them with 
 severity where they are clearly wrong, even 
 while we make large allowance for their zeal : 
 but above all, it behoves ns, and I wish I 
 could honestly say that I had always adhered 
 to my own doctrine, to guard ourselves against 
 all participation in their feuds. 
 
 Kow and then, however, our professional 
 squabbles are entirely of our own creation; 
 and then they are unpardonable. There is but 
 one case in which I can allow an apology for 
 them; and that is where, with the full con- 
 sciousness that our client is morally, if not 
 legally right, and that he has been victimized 
 by a swindler, we find our professional oppo- 
 nent lending himself to the fraud of his client, 
 and on the convenient but erroneous principle 
 tliat it is liis duty to make the best he can of
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 221 
 
 his employer's case, supporting him by tech- 
 nical astuteness. I have very recently experi- 
 enced this provocation. I was destitute of 
 evidence to prove that a man who had filed a 
 bill against my client for indcnmity against a 
 covenant to repair, had already received a sum 
 of X400 to cover the risk. I knew it to be the 
 fact, because the man himself had admitted it 
 to me long before litigation, or even the risk of 
 it, was ever contemplated ; but the admission 
 was made in confidential conversation, and 
 therefore I could not be a witness. By the 
 ad^dce of my counsel, and under the impression 
 that the plaintiff was a man of principle, as he 
 had long made loud religious professions, I 
 filed a cross bill for a discovery; but I w^as 
 mistaken in my calculation : he got into the 
 hands of a solicitor otherwise respectable, who 
 from peculiar circumstances mast have known 
 how the fact really stood, but who felt little 
 scruple in putting in an ingenious answer that 
 successfully shuffled out of the admission, and 
 thus our expectation of evidence was defeated, 
 and the man pocketed his £400 twice over, 
 gratefully appropriating a part of it to present 
 his unscrapaloas adviser with a piece of plate
 
 .yi)0 
 
 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 ultra Ills costs ! I hope for the sake of both 
 parties that it was unmerited. Cases like this 
 cannot fail to raise the bile ; and more especially 
 Avhen, as in that which I have been mentioning, 
 one feels assured that the proceedings are 
 pressed on merely for costs, against a perfect 
 conviction of their injustice. But it is very 
 rare that we have such fair excuse for our 
 irritability. 
 
 We should steadily bear in mind, that after 
 all, we are oiili/ the attorneys, not the principals 
 in the cause; it is generally from losing sight 
 of this, that we are betrayed into excitement 
 and ill-will; exactly in proportion as we do 
 lose sight of it, and identify ourselves with our 
 client's feelings, we not only expose ourselves 
 to the risk of quarreling, but incapacitate 
 ourselves from discharging our duty to him 
 with calm and dispassionate judgment. When 
 liowever, it occurs, as of course it will occasion- 
 ally, that we are opposed to a man who blusters 
 and writes angry letters, the same course should 
 be taken as with the affidavit -monger — avoid 
 all personal interviews, and write your replies 
 as laconically as is consistent with courtesy ; a 
 long letter, unless confined to simple explana-
 
 IN" SEARCH OP PRACTICE. 223 
 
 tiou, will rarely produce peace; and it is an 
 excellent maxim that T learnt from one of the 
 most honorable and respected men in thie pro- 
 fession, Mr. Greaves, never to answer an angry 
 coramnnication, till it has lain four- and -twentv 
 hours on your desk. 
 
 Whenever I see an attorney bristling up his 
 quills in porcupine fashion, before any body 
 thinks of attacking him, I always write him 
 down an ass, unless his juvenile appearance can 
 plead inexperience in behalf of ignorance : ours 
 is of necessity a rough profession in many of 
 its encounters, and we must expect rough 
 knocks in it, and learn to bear them ; but I 
 deprecate our needlessly provoking each other 
 to inflict them, and I am convinced, that by 
 following the principles I have suggested, many 
 a blow may be saved, and the disposition to 
 give the blow often restrained. 
 
 "While I sincerely believe that there are very 
 many in the profession with whom we may 
 safely trust ourselves in frank discussion of the 
 merits of our case, with a view to avoid expense 
 and possibility to put an end to threatened 
 litigation, I am compelled to say as a general 
 rule, that it is by no means prudent to enter
 
 1224 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 into anv Irregular correspondence, either by 
 letter or in person, even to restore peace. I 
 wish it were otherwise, for I am convinced that 
 justice might often be done between contending 
 parties, without law and at little costs, if their 
 respective solicitors could place that confidence 
 in each other which would insure an honest 
 overture being received with ec[nal cordiality. 
 It is clear that every difference involving no 
 legal question, can only arise from a misunder- 
 standing on facts, or from irritation of temper; 
 and all experienced attorneys are well aware 
 that not one case in fift\' brought under our 
 notice, will be found to turn upon a new Y'oint 
 of law, or upon such nice distinctions of 
 circumstance as to take it out of an acknowl- 
 edged principle. Where error as to fact, or 
 excitement of temper involves men of respect- 
 ability in a controvers}" about their respective 
 rio-hts, how easv is it for a clear-headed at- 
 torney to get at the truth by a little open con- 
 versation with his opponent, if that opponent 
 will only meet him with the same laudable 
 purpose of setting the parties right ! nor, if I 
 may judge from my own experience, is this 
 conciliatory disposition a losing game in the
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICi:. 225 
 
 long I'un : it may be attended by a sacrifice of 
 costs in the particular case, but on the other 
 hand, it insures a return of vour client on 
 every difficulty. 
 
 Such, however, is our unfortunate jealousy 
 of each other, and so powerful the habit of 
 zealously espousing the client's cause, whether 
 right or wrong, that a solicitor's character 
 must stand very high indeed, to warrant us in 
 any conciliatory appeal to him, with a view to 
 an amicable arrano-ement. I have known the 
 strongest disposition professed to avoid ex- 
 tremes, and followed up too by an apparently 
 frank exchange of explanation; when after all, 
 the opposite attorney has abruptly terminated 
 the negotiation, throwing the fault on his 
 client's obstinacy, and availing himself of the 
 knowledge which he has thus acquired of your 
 case, to prepare himself the better to meet and 
 to defeat it; for it must be recollected that 
 though letters may be written " without preju- 
 dice," and thus protected from all attempt to 
 misapply them, knowledge or information can 
 not, f;-oiii the nature of the case, be conveyed 
 without prejudice, unless you could insure a 
 
 man's divesting his mind, as jurymen are ab- 
 10*
 
 226 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 snrdly directed to do, of all tliat he lias pre- 
 viously heard. I heartily wish that attorneys 
 of the respectable class would more habitually 
 repose a friendly confidence in each other, 
 though I scarcely know how it can be ex- 
 pected, till some better protection can be 
 devised for amicable negotiation. 
 
 Nor again, must any attorney blindly trust 
 to the good -nature or indulgence of an oppo- 
 nent, however respectable, or however person- 
 ally friendly. I was nearly involved in utter 
 ruin by a blunder of this kind, though I was 
 engaged with one of the largest and most 
 respectable houses in the city, with the heads 
 of which I have always been on the best under 
 standing. A client of mine, a trustee, had 
 sold the trust estates on most advantageous 
 terms. The purchase was to be completed by 
 a certain day. The solicitors in question were 
 acting for a mortgagee whom we had given 
 notice that we would pay ofl" out of the pur- 
 chase-money. When the day arrived, I was 
 unable to complete the purchase, in conse- 
 quence of my conveyancer having been called 
 out of town by the fatal illness of his mother, 
 and taken with him the draft reconveyance of
 
 TN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 227 
 
 the mortgage. Believing myself to be in fair- 
 and friendly hands, I gave myself no trouble 
 about it, and in a few weeks after, being then 
 read}-, I proposed to settle the transaction. To 
 my utter amazement, these gentlemen obsti- 
 nately refused, insisting that their client was 
 entitled to a fresh notice of six months, befoi'c 
 he was paid off! There was no pretext for 
 saying that he had lost any opportunity of 
 otherwise investing his money, but '■'■sic volo, 
 sic jubeo," was all their argument. Meanwhile, 
 the purchaser had his money ready, and in- 
 sisted on completing the purchase, or being let 
 off his bargain ; while m}- client menaced me 
 wdth responsibility for any loss of price, if 
 driven to a re -sale of the estates : that loss, in 
 all probability, would have been many thou- 
 Band pounds. I appealed, but I appealed in 
 vain to the liberality of my city friends ; their 
 six months' notice they would have, if I died 
 in jail as the consequence; my trustee client 
 had obviously no power to spare me ; I was 
 saved by the liberal kindness of the purchaser, 
 who, though anxious to be released from his 
 contract, would not buy that release at my 
 expense, and consented to wait till the six
 
 228 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 months had expired. I might on three occa- 
 pions since, have re- borrowed the money for 
 other clients from the city mortgagee, but I 
 have had at least the satisfaction of declining 
 further business of the kind with such punc- 
 tilious gentlemen.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 229 
 
 CHAPTER XY. 
 
 "Mutua benevolentia utetur cum sciat se tanto plus prseetitisse 
 
 Ipse litigantium auxiliator egebit auxilio." 
 
 QuiNCT. de Inst. Orat. 
 
 I HAVE found it far more difficult to reg-ulate 
 my intercourse with counsel by any systematic 
 rules, than to manage either my client or 
 opposing solicitors. We certainly have less 
 provocation to temper in this case, because we 
 can never come into personal collision with the 
 members of the bar, except in open court, 
 where the authority of the judge is, or ought 
 to be, exerted to preserve not only the peace, 
 but the decorum of society. I have sometimes 
 witnessed a great deal of overbearing insolence 
 from barristers of every standing; but never 
 except from men naturally coarse, and like 
 some solicitors that I have described, mere 
 adventurers, though often successful ones, in 
 their profession. So far, however, as my own
 
 230 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 experience has gone, these men are exceptions 
 to the general rule. I recollect one occasion 
 about eighteen years ago, when a learned bar- 
 rister was defending a prisoner whom I wa^ 
 prosecuting, his eloquence was at a loss for a 
 better argument, and therefore in addressing 
 the jury, he charged me with having falsely 
 instructed counsel ! his client was convicted, 
 and thus the jury showed their sense of the 
 value of the charge. I was then so young that 
 1 knew not how slight was the insult conveyed 
 by such professional attacks ; but being my 
 opponent's equal in all the adventitious circum- 
 stances of education and social position, and 
 somewhat his superior in birth and connexion, 
 I resented the supposed affront by giving him 
 my card. I cannot describe my amazement, 
 when instead of receiving the hint in silence he 
 tossed it from him with an air of affected 
 inditference, saying, " I throw it back with 
 contempt;" but taking especial care at the 
 same time to fix the attention of the judge on 
 this daring violation of forensic privilege, so 
 as to avoid the bare possibility of unpleasant 
 consequences. The obliging interposition of 
 Mr. Law, the present recorder, healed my
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 231 
 
 wounded feelings; or I might have been be- 
 trayed by anger into a very disagreeable posi- 
 tion. These attacks, however, are, as I have 
 observed, rarely made on solicitors of acknowl- 
 edged character; nor, in truth, could I quote 
 another such instance towards myself in nearly 
 twenty -five years' acquaintance with the courts; 
 it is because it is almost unique, that I think it 
 worth mentioning. The usual style of inso- 
 lence is of a very different description : it is a 
 supercilious hauteur that implies total disre- 
 gard of the attorney, the client, the cause, and 
 the fee. On the latter point, I incline to think 
 that the disregard is entirely' assumed, but iu 
 all other particulars, it is too natural to be 
 insincere. This is a professional folly that 
 often entails its own punishment, for I have 
 good reason to know that gentlemen of this 
 character always lose business, unless they can 
 command their briefs in spite of the attorneys, 
 and are rarely employed of spontaneous good- 
 will, but only because our clients will not be 
 satisfied ^'ithout retaining them. It may be a 
 good policy of our clients, but it is an expen- 
 sive one; for rnanv a time have I been com- 
 pelled to employ two leaders when one would
 
 232 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 have sufficed, and when only the costs of one 
 were allowed, that I might make sure of 
 havine: a man who would condescend to read 
 his brief, and listen to a suggestion even from 
 the attorney. "What a contrast to such men 
 was aiForded by Garrow, Best, Vaughan, 
 Gurney, and even Sir Vicary Gibbs ! And in 
 the present day, though Campbell is supposed 
 to be difficult of approach, I never found him 
 inaccessible ; while Wilde and F. Pollock will 
 readily and kindly listen to every word, 
 whether to the purpose or not. Brougham 
 was another most ready listener, as well as a 
 most efficient advocate; I believe that many 
 regret yet more than he does himself, that he 
 ever left the bar for the bench. Erie, though 
 reserved, is always courteous to formality; 
 Talfourd is not only courteous, but cordial; 
 and R. Y. Richards pays more good-natured 
 attention to one's case, and fights it through 
 with more vigor than any man I ever met with 
 except Wilde or Gurney. The success of Law 
 and Thesiger, distinguished as they both un- 
 questionably are for forensic power, is perhaps 
 vet more to be attributed to their frank o-ood- 
 humor. I never employed Follett, and there-
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 233 
 
 fore am unable to speak of liis merits or 
 demerits in this particular. I was oiu-e op- 
 posed to liim on a reference before Serjeant 
 Storks many years ago: and as he was also 
 opposed to the Serjeant on every legal point 
 that occurred in it, I conclude he knows some- 
 thing of law. I might mention too many of a 
 very different disposition, but it is not fair in 
 an anonymous work to quote the names of 
 private individuals to their prejudice. 
 
 But to return to my immediate subject. If 
 we find ourselves uncourteously received by 
 counsel, 1 think that the fault is essentially our 
 own : it may happen with such men as Scarlett 
 used to be, and perhaps, with two or three 
 others of the present day, that they are raised 
 by talent, and yet more frequently by happy 
 opportunities, to a distinguished position that 
 renders them independent of the good-^vill of 
 the attorneys. When this is the case, if they 
 haughtily forget the kind offices that first 
 found for them opportunities of attaining 
 acknowledged distinction, it only shows that 
 their minds are little, however great their law : 
 we should rather feel pity for them, than 
 trouble ourselves about the contempt they may
 
 234 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 affect for us. Witli all inferior men, however, 
 we have the remedy in our own hands, had we 
 only sufficient esprit de corps to use it. I recol- 
 lect when, several years ago, we were obliged to 
 employ four or five leaders in every stage of 
 every cause in Chancery, because we never 
 could reckon with certainty on the attendance 
 of even one ! This man was at the E.0II8 when 
 we wanted him before the Chancellor, and that 
 man was in the vice- Chancellor's court when 
 wanted at the Rolls. The solicitors made 
 common cause of it, and published their deter- 
 mination to give no brief to any counsel that 
 would not confine himself to one court. The 
 bar blustered and talked big, and such was our 
 jealousy of each other, and our want of union, 
 that our purposed reform was almost defeated ; 
 but the demand was reasonable, and every man 
 of ffood feelino^ was convinced that the interests 
 and the money of our clients ought not to be 
 sacrificed to the grasping cupidity of counsel. 
 I think it was Shadwell who first announced 
 his intention of confining himself to one court, 
 — the vice -Chancellor's. His example was 
 gradually followed, and we have now for 
 several years had the advantage of knowing
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 235 
 
 where to find our leaders when we want them ; 
 the victory is to be ascribed to our having the 
 good sense to avail ourselves of the power 
 which the bar, not less than ourselves, arc 
 conscious that we have over them. I am far 
 from saying that this power ought to be, or 
 indeed could be successfully exerted on every 
 petty occasion, but undoubtedly it might be 
 fairly brought into play against any barrister 
 who habitually insulted us; and even that share 
 of it, which each individual enjoys in propor- 
 tion to the extent of his business, ought to be 
 sufficient, if managed with dexterity, to protect 
 him from any repetition of personal offense. 
 Barristers have at least as much if not more 
 sensibility about the failure of clients than 
 ourselves, however they may affect a lofty 
 disregard of the emoluments of their profession. 
 I have often been amused at the indirect 
 appeals, and sometimes the downright men- 
 dacity of cousins, connexions, and friends, for 
 a stray brief, or a casual motion on behalf of a 
 "relation at the bar, if my engagements to 
 other gentlemen allowed me ! " 
 
 Independently, however, of the influence 
 which we derive from this acknowledged
 
 236 ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 
 
 dependence upon us, and wliich we are well 
 warranted in using for our own protection, I 
 cannot help thinking that we may find a yet 
 better security for due respect in our own 
 deportment. We must always hear in mind 
 that in point of etiquette our professional grade 
 is lower, and therefore we are not justified in 
 expecting deference as lawyers, however well 
 entitled to insist on courtesy as gentlemen. 
 This should be the limit of our pretensions; it 
 is only when this is forgotten that we have any 
 title to complain, "We are excusable in resent- 
 ing any imputation against our conduct as 
 gentlemen, let it proceed from whom it may, or 
 any sneering recognition of our station. But 
 we are not entitled to assume a professional 
 equality with the bar, merely because it draws 
 its immediate support from us. There is, it is 
 true, an exclusive temper in its conventional 
 etiquette, that, in these liberal times, is perfectly 
 ridiculous. I ha^e known a brother refuse to 
 dine with a brother in an assize town, the one 
 being counsel, the other attorney, because it 
 wa.^ held C07itra bonos mores at the bar mess. 
 Springing as this does from the jealous feeling 
 that barristers entertain of each other, lest
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 237 
 
 undue means should be exerted in familiar 
 intercourse to obtain briefs, it is not less con- 
 fessedly diso^raceful to themselves as a bod\-, 
 than it is offensive to those whom it insults : 
 this exrclusiveness reflects no discredit on our 
 class, though much, avowedly, on their own. 
 Against offenses of this kind we cannot protect 
 ourselves; but against any offered to us indi- 
 vidually, we easily may, by always observing 
 that self- respect which commands respect, birAtv 
 animo, from others. I have mentioned the onh" 
 instance that has ever occurred to myself, in 
 which I could fairly quote language applied to 
 me by counsel, of which I feel justified in 
 complaining ; and I attribute my exemption 
 from an annoyance to which I have daily seen 
 others exposed, principally to the care which I 
 have always anxiously taken never to lay myself 
 open to reproach for conduct unworthy of an 
 honorable member of my profession ; but in 
 some degree also to a demeanor implying at 
 once perfect equality of station, and yet 
 respectful, deference to superior knowledge and 
 professional rank. "We should recollect that as 
 the military officer is nobody except on the 
 parade, or in the ball-room, so the lawyer loses
 
 238 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 iill distinction out of Westminster Hall, and 
 when we meet in the world, we meet on equal 
 terms; this is perfectly consistent with the 
 discipline of the ranks. 
 
 Occasions do now and then occur where the 
 self-command that I am recommendins; be- 
 comes extremely difficult to practice; more 
 particularly when we are attending gentlemen 
 high in legal office. I remember a case of this 
 kind with the late Master Stratford. A solici- 
 tor of great eminence was attending him ; the 
 Master had already intimated a very strong 
 opinion on the matter in dispute, and it is well 
 known that he was not very well pleased with 
 contradiction, nor much disposed to listen to 
 it; the solicitor, however, was resolute to be 
 heard, and finding there was little chance in 
 any other way, determined on angering him into 
 silence; rather a novel means of obtaining an 
 audience, but in this instance quite successful. 
 
 "I was observing, Master Stratford — " 
 
 " I have heard your observations. Sir, 
 [cmgrily^ till I am weary of them ; I beg you 
 will be silent, I have quite made up my mind." 
 
 "I see you have, Sir, but it strikes me 
 that — "
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 239 
 
 " I really cannot help what strikes you, Sir, 
 I shall not hear another word." 
 
 " I am sorry for it, Sir, I have a great many 
 yet to ofter." 
 
 " Indeed! {half nsivg from his chair, and then 
 resuming if,) pray, how long may you intend to 
 talk?" 
 
 "Prohably half an hour, Sir; it depends on 
 the attention you will be so good as to 
 give me." 
 
 "Half an hour, Sir! did you say half an 
 hour, Sir ? do you know who you are talking 
 to?" 
 
 " It may take me a trifle longer, Master 
 Stratford, it depends on yourself in some 
 measure." 
 
 " On me. Sir ! on me ! insufferable insolence ! 
 half an hour! depends on myself ! pray what 
 may your name be. Sir?" 
 
 " Fairfield, Sir. If you are ready I will 
 begin." 
 
 Here the learned Master drew back his chair, 
 and actually gaped in astonished frenzy at this 
 unwonted defiance of his "v^Tath, durinsf which 
 Mr. Fairfield coolly proceeded with his argu- 
 ment, wholly undisturbed by the judicial
 
 240 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 agitation, and quoted cases by the dozen. 
 Meanwhile his client, an honest tradesman who 
 knew as little of the etiquette of the Master's 
 office as of St. James's, being weary of standing, 
 seated himself on the nearest chair. This new 
 offense actually bewildered poor Stratford ; he 
 looked from the solicitor to the client, and 
 from the client to the solicitor, in mute amaze- 
 ment, wholly regardless of the argument and 
 the authorities, when at this instant a servant 
 boy entered the august presence with the coal - 
 scuttle. A happy idea flashed across the 
 Master's mind. Rising precipitately from his 
 chair, and grasping the lad by the arm, he 
 forced him into it. 
 
 " Here, Jack, take my chair ! take my chair! 
 I don't see why one gentleman should not sit 
 down as well as another ! " 
 
 The frightened boy took the chair; Fairfield, 
 who was a man of uncommon talent, that 
 justified as it was supported by uncommon 
 assurance, continued speaking, as if uncon- 
 scious of the substitution ; the farce was too 
 much even for the Master's wrath ; he laughed 
 himself into good humor, heard the argument 
 to the end, and, mirabile dicta, altered his
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 241 
 
 opinion ; not the less readily perhaps, because 
 he knew that Fairfield was a character not to 
 be trifled with. 
 
 A case not very dissimilar so far as regards 
 its judicial dignity, occurred to myself. An 
 action had been compromised between me and 
 the opposite attorney, subject to a question of 
 costs on which we could not agree, and which 
 we were both perfectly willing to leave to the 
 decision of the judge : with the view of obtain- 
 ing his opinion we attended him on a summons, 
 the terms of which had been previously 
 arranged between us, " to show cause why 
 proceedings should not be stayed without 
 payment of costs." We were the first whose 
 turn it was to enter. His lordship glanced at 
 the summons, and seemed somewhat doubtful 
 as to its meaning, but began very sharply, not 
 addressing himself particularly to either of us . 
 
 " Well, Sir, what cause have you to show ? " 
 
 " We have agreed, my lord," — 
 
 " Then if you are agreed. Sir, why do you 
 trouble me? {impa.tiently ,) call the next sum- 
 mons." 
 
 "Your lordship has misunderstood me ; we 
 
 agreed to leave it to " — 
 11
 
 242 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " Well, Sir, you may take your leave when 
 you please; {snappishly^ are the next parties 
 ready ?" 
 
 ' ' If you will not hear, my lord, it is useless to " — 
 
 "Kot hear you, Sir! {ayigrily.) I asked you 
 what cause you had to show? and you can 
 show none." 
 
 "It is not my business, my lord; it is my 
 summons." 
 
 " Well then., (turning short round to my 
 opponent,) can you show cause ? " 
 
 " I think I can, my lord, if you will listen 
 to me." 
 
 " And haven't I been listening to you for the 
 last half- hour? go on. Sir." 
 
 " The action has been compromised, my 
 lord, but" — 
 
 " Compromised ! then why do you come 
 here ? (turning to his clerk,) call in the next. 
 What business have you here ? " 
 
 " Really, my lord" — I began, but in vain. 
 
 " Can you show cause, Sir?" 
 
 " I have already told your lordship that the 
 summons is mine." 
 
 " Then can you show cause, Sir ? " turning 
 again to the other.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 243 
 
 " Not without explaiuing tlie case, my lord." 
 "Then, gentlemen, 3'ou may go; you may 
 take your order : call in the next." 
 
 " On these terms I cannot take it, my lord." 
 "I imposed no terms, Sir; the order is 
 made — call in the next." 
 "Your lordship will" — 
 "Be silent, Sir; you can show no cause — 
 call in the next summons." 
 
 " If your lordship will give me one minute" — 
 "Silence, Sir; I have decided the point; — 
 are the next ready ?" 
 
 And so w^e took nothing by our motion, 
 though we retired deeply impressed with the 
 condescending kindness, no less than the pro- 
 found learning, and calm endurance of the 
 judge. We went to the chambers of Mr. 
 Baron Yaughan, explained the matter to him ; 
 and his lordship, Avith an affability and a kind- 
 ness that I never can forget, not only settled 
 the immediate point, but perceiving that it 
 involved a personality of feeling between our 
 respective clients, entered into the whole subject 
 with extra-judicial interest, and suggested a 
 course for the perfect arrangement of all 
 remaining difficulties. His lordship's advice
 
 244 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 was followed to the letter, and with entire 
 success. 
 
 The dignity of the judicial ermine is not 
 always thus pleasingly illustrated: the pre- 
 eminent purity and lofty pretensions of the 
 forensic hody require occasionally to be vindi- 
 cated from the bench, in a way less calculated, 
 I confess, to secure our grateful acquiescence. 
 It can only be attributed to a sense of what 
 was due to the corps of which he has been so 
 long a distinguished member, that Lord Abin- 
 ger, in charging the jury on the trial of a 
 cause lately before him, made use of the follow- 
 ing expression in reference to a libellous attack 
 on Mr. Thesiger and a solicitor of the name of 
 liar mar: "It might be very well for Mr. 
 Thesiger to treat that with contempt which 
 Mr. Harmar, moving in the sphere of an attorney^ 
 might be called on \vith equal propriety to 
 defend himself from the effects of." It cannot 
 but have given pain to a man of his lordship's 
 acknowledged urbanity, thus to iind himself 
 compelled by a sense of duty, to teach our 
 whole profession a lesson of humility, and 
 check those aspirings which might have led 
 many of us in our ignorance, to place ourselves
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 245 
 
 in reference to our domestic life, its feelingrs, 
 and its wrongs, on a level \s\\h Mr. Tbesiger I 
 Those who do not know how entirelv tlie 
 judicial mind enjoys its existence, separate and 
 apart from the man who owns it, would be apt 
 to mistake this judicial dictum for an illiberal 
 sneer, unworthy of the judge, and foreign to 
 the subject ! 
 
 TVe sometimes find ourselves in a position, 
 in which, it must be acknowledged, that 
 temper and self- possession are sorely tried ; yet 
 it is one from which, by preserving both 
 temper and presence of mind, we can always 
 extricate ourselves with advantnge. A prudent 
 attorney will never put himself in the witness- 
 box, if he can avoid it ; occasionally, however, 
 it is inevitable, and when he gets there, he is 
 considered fair game. I never was in this 
 situation but twice : on one of these occasions 
 I was under the fire of a cross-examination by 
 Scarlett, no very enviable position even for the 
 most honest witness, it must be owned. An 
 important letter had been lost in my oflice ; lost 
 by that excess of precaution which one some- 
 times takes with very important documents ; I 
 had locked it up in some drawer for security,
 
 246 ADVENTURES OP AN ATTORNEY 
 
 and on tlie eve of trial could not discover where 
 I had phxced it ; hut when engaged in consuU- 
 ins: counsel on the case hefore I commenced the 
 action, nearly three years before the cause was 
 tried, I had introduced a copy of this letter into 
 the statement, and had read the letter to my 
 clerk while he transcribed it. I tendered this 
 copy in evidence : of course Scarlett opposed 
 its admission, for nearly the whole question of 
 damages turned upon it. 
 
 " "Do you commonly read letters for your clerks 
 to copy, Mr. Sharpe? " 
 
 " No, Sir." 
 
 " It would be rather an inconvenient practice?" 
 
 " Certainly." 
 
 " Did you examine this copy after he had 
 made it ? " 
 
 "Not that I remember; certainly not to 
 check its accuracy." 
 
 " Then you cannot swear to its accuracy ? " 
 
 " I cannot ; but I believe it to be accurate." 
 • "Whv?" 
 
 " Because it consists of but five lines, so there 
 is not much room for error ; and I had every 
 inducement to be accurate in consulting counsel 
 on the merits of mv client's c.ase."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 247 
 
 "Did you show tlie original letter to your 
 counsel ? " 
 
 " Most likely I did. I cannot be certain at 
 this distance of time, but I have no doubt I 
 did." 
 
 " Then you did not at that time rely suffici- 
 ently on your belief in its accuracy to trust to 
 the copy only ? " 
 
 I saw the drift of the question, and hesitated ; 
 of course I received the usual rough salute, 
 
 "No hesitation, Sir; did you then believe the 
 copy to be accurate ? " 
 
 I still demurred — repeating the question, but 
 not answering. 
 
 " Come, Sir ! no fencing with me ; as an 
 attorney you ought to know better." 
 
 I remained silent, pondering over the ques- 
 tion. 
 
 " I will have an answer, Sir : did you then 
 believe the copy to be faithful ? " 
 
 " To what time do you refer ? " 
 
 " When you consulted counsel." 
 
 " Three years ago ? " 
 
 " Yes, Sir ; three years ago." 
 
 " Then I will not answer your question, un- 
 less liis lordship decides against me."
 
 248 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 My own counsel ought to have made the 
 objection, but, from discretion sometimes, they 
 are too tardy in protecting a witness. Lord 
 Denman, however, (who knew me well, and 
 from whom I never but once received a harsh 
 word, and even then I believed he designed it 
 kindly, though it was unjust) came to my aid. 
 
 " WHiat is your objection, Mr. Shurpe ? " 
 
 "Your Lordship will perceive that the ques- 
 tion does not refer to present belief nor to a past 
 fact, but to the impression existing on my 
 mind three years ago ; how is it possible for 
 any man to state with certainty the precise 
 limits of his belief not as to what were the 
 occurrences of to-day, or yesterday, but as to 
 what he believed at a period so remote ? " 
 
 His lordship reflected for a moment, and 
 overruled the question. 
 
 " It is not a fair one, Mr. Scarlett. Go on." 
 
 But Scarlett had had enough of it, and left 
 me to gain a verdict without further interrup- 
 tion, though he looked as if he could have 
 eaten me, however unaccustomed to fare so 
 tough 
 
 Many assaults, far more rude than this, are 
 hourly made by counsel at nisi prius, on attorney
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 249 
 
 witnesses, and I cannot forbear observing, that 
 in 2:eneral the court is far too indulm'nt to the 
 bar on these occasions. It is possible that in 
 an idle hour even these pages may meet a judi- 
 cial eye ; I have known some of their lordships 
 amuse themselves with more unprofitable books ! 
 should such an honor await n:e, I must be ex- 
 cused for reminding my most learned lounger 
 that it is the duty of the bench to protect a 
 witness, not less than to compel the truth. I 
 do not say to screen him, but emphatically to 
 protect him : and where a judge, from reluc- 
 tance to face the sneers of counsel, or to en- 
 counter his coarse remonstrance, allows him to 
 practice on the timidity, or outrage the just 
 sensiblility of a defenseless witness, or what is 
 worse, to calumniate and stigmatize one who is 
 no party, except professionally, to the cause, 
 and who has no opportunity of being heard in 
 explanation, that judge is not less guilty of a 
 violation of his oath, than if he sold his opinion 
 or his influence to the highest bidder : I have 
 often been disgusted, not less with the cowardly 
 license assumed by the bar in their comments 
 on third parties, under the convenient plea of 
 
 forensic liberty of speech, than I have with the 
 11*
 
 250 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 apathy of the judge who heard them, and 
 silently permitted the scandalous abuse that he 
 ouo-ht to have checked with solemn indignation. 
 On some rare occasions, when the language of 
 counsel has grossly exceeded the limits of com- 
 mon decency, and the insulted witness has been 
 provoked into keen retort, the bench perchance 
 has interfered ; but how ? by haughty reproof 
 to the unfortunate victim, and expostulation 
 with his vulgar assailant, so mild and so equivo- 
 cal, as to imply sympath}' with the oifense, 
 rather than stern rebuke to the offender. It is 
 a national feeling to love and reverence our 
 judges, and long may it continue to be so : but 
 they little know how they shake that love and 
 reverence to their very foundation, when they 
 thus betray a partiality to their corps, that 
 tends to deter all men of respectability and of 
 nervous temperament, from the highest duty of 
 a citizen, bearino; his testimonv to truth and 
 
 7 CD •> 
 
 justice in open court ! Such is the horror of 
 the witness box, that I have often known a 
 good and honest case abandoned, to spare a 
 relative, or a friend, the pain of entering it ; 
 and on one occasion, I have even known a 
 "uitnesf^ pay the debt and costs, rather than be
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 251 
 
 exposed to the risk of insult that he dared not 
 resent in court, and would not have brooked 
 elsewhere ! Attorneys, however, ought to recol- 
 lect that the same man who insults them for 
 the guinea he receives from their opponent, 
 will readily eat his own words if they choose 
 to give him two ; and, consequently, that this, 
 as far as they are concerned, is the full value 
 of the libel. Where counsel offend this wav 
 haVAtually, their names should be written on a 
 black board in the hall of the Law Institution, 
 as proscribed men. This would speedily work 
 reform.
 
 262 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 " Doubtless the pleasure is as great 
 Of being cheated, as to cheat."— Butler. 
 
 Yet it is a pleasure which in duty to our 
 clients, we must deny ourselves, however profit- 
 able may be the litigation into which they 
 sometimes cheat us. 
 
 I have already hinted that the statements of 
 an angry client are never to be received for 
 gospel. It was long before I disco \ered this, 
 and yet longer before I also found that his 
 witnesses are rarely to be trusted at all I The 
 mistake is very natural : in the first place one 
 feels strangely predisposed to place implicit 
 faith in an honest fellow who gives the best 
 possible proof of sound judgment in choosing 
 you as his adviser ; and then, one's pocket 
 sympathies are wonderfully excited in his 
 behalf, (especially if the case is a heavy one,) 
 and after all, he must know his own afiairs
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 253 
 
 better than we can do ! Moreover, when it 
 does happen that ex superabundcmti cautela, we 
 ask him for his proofs, there never is any hiek 
 of evidence. " Mr. Johnson is a witness ! he 
 heard every syllable ! and Mr. Atkins managed 
 the whole business, and can vouch for every- 
 thing ! " The next day he brings Mr. Johnson 
 and Mr. Atkins, and they do vouch for every- 
 thing, and in the state of excitement under 
 which they see their employers labor, would 
 willingly vouch for ten times more if necessary, 
 and find twenty other witnesses to back theni. 
 No wonder if the attorney is deeply impressed 
 with the conviction that all is true and accu- 
 rate ! especially when the bare intimation of a 
 doubt will be interpreted into the lie direct, 
 and resented as a serious insult by the client, 
 who came good - naturedly to employ him ! 
 Hence the writ is issued, retainers are given, 
 and it is not till the eve of trial, when costs to 
 a large amount have been incurred on both 
 sides, that the attorney begins to think it 
 strange that so clear a case should be so reso- 
 lutely defended ; he again catechizes his client, 
 who by this time has become calm; and their 
 employer being calm, the clerks become doubt-
 
 254 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY ' 
 
 ful, whereupon the "very clear case" becomes 
 as hazy as the city in N^ovemher, and the only 
 obvious point remaining is, that the notice of 
 trial should be countermanded, and the costs 
 taxed and paid! Mutatis mutandis, the same 
 result still oftener happens on the defendant's 
 side. When, however, the excitement has sub- 
 sided, and the sober certain t}' of costs only 
 occupies the mind, it is rare indeed to find a 
 client possessed of that amiable disposition, 
 that he will admit having had '* value received" 
 in the sympathizing credulity with which his 
 attorney listened in the first instance to the tale 
 of his supposed wrongs : on the contrary, he 
 blames you behind your back, and reproaches 
 you to your face for " not having set him 
 right," forgetting that had you even attempted 
 it, at a moment when he would not believe the 
 possibility of his being wrong, he would have 
 made a quarrel of it, and gone elsewhere for 
 advice ! 
 
 An absurd blunder of this kind once oc- 
 curred to me, which, though of trifling pecu- 
 niary amount, will serve to illustrate my 
 meaning, A friend who resided at a consider- 
 able distance from town had a quantity of old
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 255 
 
 family plate, wliieh he wished to be cleaned 
 and repaired by a London jeweler. lie trans- 
 mitted the plate chest, with a large parcel of 
 papers, separately packed up, to his agent, 
 with directions to leave the plate chest at the 
 jeweler's, and retain the papers. These direc- 
 tions were literally complied with as regarded 
 the plate, but not having a convenient place to 
 deposit the papers in, he sent them to the 
 jeweler's along with the chest. After two or 
 three months, the plate was sent home, and the 
 jeweler at the same time returned the paper 
 parcel to the agent. My country friend on 
 arriving in town, a considerable time after, 
 applied to the agent for the papers which he 
 had sent to him ; the parcel was delivered np, 
 but on opening it some turnpike bonds were 
 missed ! The agent declared he had never 
 received them, nor even opened the parcel 
 beyond removing the outside envelope. A vio- 
 lent altercation ensued, in which my client 
 used the terms " thief," and " swindler," some- 
 what emphatically, and was, therefore, some- 
 what emphatically kicked out of the agent's 
 chambers. In the full tide of fury he came to 
 me. attended bv his servant.
 
 256 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "I have "been robbed, Mr. Sbarpe! robbed 
 and kicked ! yes, actually kicked, Mr. Sharpe ! 
 haven't I, John ?" 
 
 " Sure you have, Sir ! " answered the groom. 
 
 " Robbed ! kicked ! what do you mean ! was 
 it in the street?" 
 
 " Master was kicked into the street, Sir, sure 
 enough ! " 
 
 "Ay, Mr. Sharpe!" kicked into the street 
 by the ruffian that robbed me." 
 
 " What, in open day ! we must go to Bow 
 street; tell me the facts while my clerk calls a 
 coach." 
 
 But on hearing the circumstances as above 
 detailed, it occurred to me that even the charge 
 of embezzlement could scarcelv be sustained, 
 though I entertained no doubt that the man 
 had sold or pledged the bonds, especially when 
 after another minute search, everything else 
 was discovered in the parcel. My client had 
 brought his servant with him to confirm his 
 statement, and John swore stoutly that he had 
 packed the plate chest, and made up the parcel 
 himself He had grown up in his master's 
 service from childhood, and I checked a suspi- 
 cion thft flashed across my mind, that he
 
 i:n search of practice. 257 
 
 might himself be the thief. The agent had a 
 fair reputation, and was supposed to be in 
 good circumstances. I therefore, without more 
 hesitation, brought the action. Mj client left 
 town, and proceedings went on in the usual 
 course, till the sittings approached. I then 
 thought it high time to take instructions for 
 my brief, and subpoena John. It was also 
 necessary to prove the safe carriage of the 
 parcel till its delivery; and to collect this 
 evidence, I put myself into the mail, and pro- 
 ceeded to my client's residence in the country. 
 I obtained all the evidence I wanted in the 
 course of two or three days, but he must needs 
 have a party to meet me at dinner the day 
 before I left him. It consisted of five or six of 
 tlie neighboring gentry and their families, and 
 the splendor of the sideboard on which his 
 plate was now set out for the first time since its 
 return from the jeweler, naturally led the con- 
 versation to the approaching trial. Many and 
 bitter were the comments made on the assurance 
 of the agent in carrying matters to such ex- 
 tremes; and many and cordial were the good 
 wishes for a safe deliverance to the host. 
 
 " Ay, ay," said Mr. Hubblebubble, joining
 
 258 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 in the chorus, " I'll get some satisfaction for 
 niy kick now, or the devil's in it. T^Hiat costs 
 will he have to pay? eh ! Sharpe?" 
 
 " The costs on both sides, I should think, 
 will be near two hundred, taking in the five 
 witnesses I sent up to-day." 
 
 " Two hundred ! is that all ? well ! 'tis some 
 comfort to make him pay two hundred pounds 
 for smart money; mind you lay it on thick, 
 Sharpe : don't spare the fellow." 
 
 Here John, who had just entered the room 
 with a bottle or two of very choice claret, in 
 wliich his master wished to drink to our suc- 
 cess, came close to his elbow, with the look of a 
 famished pointer caught in the larder, holding 
 the silver -mounted claret jug in his hand, and 
 whispered into his ear in a semi- audible tone, 
 
 "Master! Master! can I speak to you, Master?" 
 
 " Speak out, fool ! what's the matter ? is the 
 cellar robbed ? " 
 
 " The bonds, master ! — the action — the claret 
 — the bonds — " hesitating between each word 
 as if it choked him, and apparently as much 
 afraid to finish his explanation, as the said 
 pointer to finish his meal in the face of the 
 angry cook,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 259 
 
 "What do you stand jabbering there for, 
 like a crow in the colic ? speak out. Sir I "' 
 
 " I've brought the chiret, Sir, 'tis the right 
 sort. Sir, I'm sure, as sure as I packed the plate 
 chest, master! but the bonds, — the bonds. Sir, 
 — the claret jug, — " 
 
 He obviously dared not proceed, and gaped 
 open-mouthed at his master, who returned the 
 gape with interest, having some undefined pre- 
 sentiment of evil, but too tipsy to arrange his 
 ideas: I guessed the solution, and came to 
 their common assistance. 
 
 " I suppose you removed the false bottom of 
 the plate chest in getting out the jug, and there 
 found the bonds ? " 
 
 " Exactly so, Sir. Miss Letitia thought they 
 would be safer there than in the parcel, and put 
 them in while I was in the kitchen ! " 
 
 Hubblebubble was sobered in an instant, 
 though one universal titter, more painful even 
 than the kick, pervaded the room : it was too 
 much for mortal patience; he pushed back his 
 chair — put down the untasted claret — and 
 alternately staring first at John, and then at 
 me, slowly and painfully drawled out the ques- 
 tion,
 
 260 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " Two hundred pounds, did you say, Mr. 
 Sharpe ? two hundred pounds for costs ? " 
 
 "Yes, Sir." 
 
 " Then why the devil didn't you think of 
 this before, Sir ? " 
 
 But the laugh was too hearty, and too well 
 merited, to allow ill -humor to remain. Before 
 the claret was finished, the kick was acknowl- 
 edged to be deserved, and the action was settled 
 by that night's post. 
 
 It would have required more than ordinary 
 acuteness to have escaped this catastrophe, and 
 I cannot to this day confess to error on my 
 part, but this was not a common case. I will 
 mention one of more frequent occurrence. 
 
 Every Cantab, however steady his career, 
 and I must acknowledge that mine was not 
 remarkable for sobriety, is sure of falling in 
 with some wild acquaintanc^j, who in after 
 years stands in great need of assistance in one 
 way or other. It is an easy transition from 
 academic "gaiety" to metropolitan dissi^Dation ; 
 and the dissipation of young men " on the 
 town," has gradual, but certain stages from 
 difficulty to shifts, — from shifts to gaming, — 
 from gaming to the depths of ruin. One of
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 261 
 
 these unliappy wretches called on me in the 
 stage of shifts ; his brother had remitted him 
 three hundred pounds from India, by a good 
 bill on merchants in the city. The spendthrift 
 took the bill to his agent to be discounted ; the 
 agent declined discounting it, but retained the 
 bill till it arrived at mattirity, and received the 
 money. My client applied for it, and was 
 refused ; he came to me with this story, but he 
 told me nothing else; it was " a clear case." 
 I demanded payment by letter, and obtained no 
 answer. I called on the agent half-a-dozen 
 times, but he was never at home. I arrested 
 the man, but he put in bail, and defended the 
 action ; his attorney was not less cautious than 
 himself. I could get no information — no clue 
 to the intended defense; the days of special 
 pleading had not yet burst upon us in all their 
 glory, and the plea left me as ignorant of the 
 case as I was before. I catechized my client 
 with determined scrutiny. 
 
 " What did he say to you when you gave 
 him the bill?" 
 
 " He would see about it." 
 
 " "Were you alone ?" 
 
 " Scamperdale was with me."
 
 262 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 - " Did you ever ask him to discount a bill 
 before?" 
 
 " Twice, and he did it." 
 
 " Have you had many transactions with him ?" 
 
 " Of course I have ; as agent for my regi- 
 ment I could not avoid it." 
 
 " Do you owe him money ?" 
 
 " No ! not a farthing." 
 
 " You are certain ? " 
 
 " Quite so." 
 
 Scamperdale confirmed the statement, and 
 we proceeded to trial, my counsel, as well as 
 myself, being assured of a verdict. (Scamper- 
 dale was put into the bar to prove the delivery 
 of the bill ; but what was my amazement at his 
 cross-examination ! 
 
 " You are a brother officer of the plaintiff? " 
 
 "lam." 
 
 " You have had many pecuniary transactions 
 with him ? " 
 
 " Certainly." 
 
 " Is this your writing? " producing a bill of 
 exchange. 
 
 " It is." 
 
 " Did the plaintiff accept that bill for you?" 
 
 " Yes."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 263 
 
 " And wTio discounted it ? " 
 " The defendant." 
 
 *' How long has it been over- due ? " 
 " I see by the date that it is above two years ! " 
 It was a bill for £S50, and the defendant 
 further produced a letter from my thoughtless 
 client, authorizing him to deduct it from the 
 first moneys of his that came to his hands. It 
 had been the subject of much angry correspon- 
 dence at the time ; but two years are a sort of 
 Lethe to a frequenter of hells and saloons. He 
 liad utterly forgotten the dishonored acceptance, 
 and I, to my shame be it spoken, had also 
 forgotten to ask for all correspondence between 
 the parties. The plaintiff was taken in execu- 
 tion for the costs, and when twenty detainers 
 had been lodged, sold his commission, obtained 
 his discharge by a shilling in the pound, and 
 emerged from the Bench after two years' im- 
 prisonment, a finished blackleg ! 
 
 No matter what a client says, or swears ; no 
 matter what his friends, his clerks, or his 
 servants say, or swear, for him; let the first rule 
 be, whatever facts are in dispute, or a case seems 
 too clear to admit of doubt, and the resistance is 
 unaccountable, to ask for all correspondence.
 
 264 ADVENTUllES OP AN ATTORNEY 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 " Quot scelerata gerat foemlna mente dolos ! " — Ovid. 
 
 Op all witnesses in an honest cause, an in- 
 telligent child is the best. Of all witnesses, in 
 any cause, a woman is the worst, unless she 
 happens to be very pretty and engaging, and 
 then she will answer the purpose, whatever it 
 be, most successfully. The counsel examining 
 in chief, ogles her with one eye and the jury 
 with the other, while a marked suavity of 
 demeanor seduces the fair debutante into perfect 
 ease ; the gallantry of the bench, let his lord- 
 ship be as old as Methuselah, bestows some- 
 w^hatmore than a transient glance, and wanders 
 into a conversational familiarity on every doubt- 
 ful or hesitating answer. The jury, one and 
 all, lay down their notes, fix both eyes and ears 
 on the witness-box, whisper to each other, smile 
 indulgently on every pretty little embarras, and
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 265 
 
 let tlie lady swear what she will, cross - examina- 
 tion is out of the question. Such outrage to 
 the charmer's self-complacency would be 
 suicidal to the best of causes. 
 
 I once experienced a very vexatious iUustra- 
 tion of all this. I was engaged for the plain tifi* 
 in an action for libel, where a justification had 
 been pleaded. The libel was a gross one, and 
 we were going on swimmingly towards ample 
 damages. The action was founded upon an 
 imputation of falsehood conveyed in very coarse 
 lano'uao-e, in havins; charo^ed a master with 
 oppressive and cruel treatment of a servant. 
 The servant herself had been put into the box, 
 and fully bore out the heavy charges my client 
 had preferred on her behalf; her quiet and 
 collective manner of giving her evidence had 
 obviously produced a favorable impression on 
 the jury. To discredit her testimony, a young 
 lady of only two - and - twenty , the daughter of 
 the defendant, was called. She was uncom- 
 monly pretty, I might even say beautiful, and 
 the elegance of her manners and dress rendered 
 her irresistible. "Wilde, who was my counsel, 
 was horror - struck with the apparition : he 
 
 leaned over the desk to me, after attentively 
 12
 
 266 ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 
 
 eyeing the jury, " Sharpc, we are done!" and 
 ''done" we were most assuredly, though her 
 evidence, strictly weighed, was not worth a 
 straw, for the jury gave us but live pounds, and 
 we thought ourselves fortunate in getting even 
 that, under such untoward circumstances. 
 
 My reader will say that this instance mili- 
 tates against my general position, and to a 
 certain extent I admit it; but for one fair wit- 
 ness like this you will meet with twenty as 
 ugly as Hecate, and as nervous as a young orator 
 on his first appearance on the platform; nor, 
 and I grieve to say it, is youth, or sex, or 
 beauty, any security for honest testimony: the 
 most disgusting, the most dreadful instance of 
 spontaneous, deliberate perjury, that I ever met 
 ■with in all my professional life, was in one in 
 whom all these attractions were combined, and 
 that to no common degree. My work is neces- 
 sarily anonymous; but my anecdotes, though 
 for the reasons. I have given at the commence- 
 ment, in some measure disguised, are all sub- 
 stantially true. In that which I am about to 
 mention, I will be literally, as well as substan- 
 tially accurate, that I may not be charged with 
 a libel on human nature, bad as that nature is.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 267 
 
 It was an object of great importance to a 
 client of mine, of great respectability, to trace 
 the steps of a man on a given day ; this man 
 being suspected of certain designs highly in- 
 jurious to his family, and the justice of those 
 suspicions depending in some degree on the 
 locale of the man at the time in question. I 
 had reason to believe that this man was at 
 Tetsworth, on a Tuesday, on the very day that 
 my client's daughter chanced to be on her way 
 from Oxford to town. I should premise that 
 it was a case in which marriage was impossible. 
 She called on me by her fatlier's directions the 
 day after her arrival, to deliver a message of 
 some importance. I had for many years been 
 on terms of close intimacy with all the family, 
 and had previously been requested by her 
 father to expostulate with her on the degrading 
 and dangerous tendency of her acquaintance 
 with Mr. Ball, who was a low tradesman, much 
 her inferior in station and birth. It was about 
 three months before this visit to me, that the 
 expostulation had taken place, and as it was 
 made with kindness, so it was received with 
 grateful acquiescence. After she had communi- 
 cated her message, I expressed a hope that the
 
 268 ADVENTURES 0¥ AN ATTORNEY 
 
 domestic peace had been uninterrupted since 
 our last meeting ; slie assured me that she had 
 followed my advice so strictly, that she had 
 broken oif all acquaintance with Mr. Ball, and 
 had neither seen nor heard from him for three 
 months 'past. I expressed my extreme satisfac- 
 tion at this, and we parted. On the Thursday 
 she again called on me to say that she was 
 returning to the country the following day, and 
 would be happy to take back any message to 
 her father; but it so happened that I had 
 business to transact very near their country 
 residence, and was going down myself. I 
 told her so, and promised myself the pleasure 
 of being her escort. I observed that she turned 
 very pale, while she muttered something about 
 the unexpected satisfaction, and so forth, and 
 did not seem half so well pleased as she pro- 
 fessed herself to be. However, we settled that 
 we would leave town the following day by the 
 coach, and I engaged to secure her place with 
 my own. 
 
 In less than an hour she returned to my 
 office to say that unexpected circumstances had 
 compelled her to defer her departure till Satur- 
 day afternoon. I was surprised, but made no
 
 IN SEARCH :;• PRACTICE. 269 
 
 remark, aDd adhering to my own plans, I left 
 town for Oxford by the coach, at the time I 
 proposed. We changed horses beyond Tets- 
 worth, but on passing through the village, the 
 coachman drew up at the door of the inn, and 
 asked for a great coat that had been left there 
 by the gentleman that he took up on Tuesday. 
 Sundry coats were produced, but it was difficult 
 to decide which was the right one ; after much 
 description of the passenger's person, the land- 
 lord appeared, and put an end to the difficulty, 
 by producing a card which he said had been 
 left by the owner of one of them, to identify 
 his own w^hen he sent for it. The coachman 
 immediately recollected the name, and received 
 the coat, asking at the same time for the card, 
 that he might remember where he was to send 
 it, as he had forgotten the passenger's address. 
 I returned to town the following day by the 
 same coach, and as we approached London, I 
 reminded the man of his carelessness, and in- 
 quired if he still had the card, little suspecting 
 the discovery to which it would lead ; he pro- 
 duced it, and I offijred to note down the address 
 on his way-bill; having done so, I retained 
 the card, which had the name of Ball engraved
 
 270 ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 
 
 on it, ill the usual form of a visiting card, and 
 not like a tradesman's. Hence I felt doubtful 
 of its belonging to the party suspected. 
 
 On arriving at my office, I dispatched to the 
 lady a letter that I had brought for her from 
 lier friends, and I enclosed it in a note from 
 myself, requesting to see her before she left 
 town the following day. She called; I will 
 give the conversation as it passed. After the 
 usual salutations, she proceeded : 
 
 "I shall have a dull journey to-morrow, 
 Mr. Sharpe ; I am now sorry that I could not 
 go with you." 
 
 " So am I, Mrs. Haller, but you may chance 
 to fall in with more amusing fellow -travelers." 
 
 " Oh no ! I fear I shall be all alone, as I was 
 in coming up." 
 
 " It was on this point that I wanted to speak 
 to you; had you no companion then ?" 
 
 " Onh- part of the way ; a lady got in at 
 Uxb ridge." 
 
 " Well, that is very strange, for I understood 
 from the coachman that a gentleman got in at 
 Tetsworth." 
 
 " Dear me ! I quite forgot that, so he did ; 
 but he onlv traveled a mile or two."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 271 
 
 I saw she was practicing on me, and I pur- 
 posely changed the subject; she remained for 
 half an hour while I wrote to her fother on the 
 business in Avhich I was engaged for him ; as I 
 was about to seal the letter, she asked to look 
 at it. I guessed her motive, though she excused 
 her curiosity on the pretext of wishing to give 
 any verbal explanation, if I wanted to convey a 
 further message by her. After she had read it, 
 and found that it contained no allusion to her- 
 self, her countenance brightened up, and she 
 hastily rose to take leave As she approached 
 the door, the letter being still unsealed, I said 
 to her very gravely, 
 
 " Mrs. Haller, I should like to add a post- 
 script to this letter, if you will allow me." 
 
 " What may it be ? " 
 
 " You know your poor father's intense 
 anxiety on a certain subject ; may I assure him 
 that your connexion with Ball is wholly at an 
 end?" 
 
 " You may indeed ! on my honor you may." 
 
 " And that you have never seen him, or 
 written to him since that unfortunate quarrel ? " 
 
 "You may tell him so with truth, and I 
 shall be obliged to vou for it."
 
 272 ADVENTUllES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "AYith perfect ivMlht" 
 
 " I declare before God, you may." 
 
 " That is a strong expression, especially from 
 a lady's lips. Are you serious ? " 
 
 ^^ I repeat in the presence of tJte Ahnighty^ that 
 I have never seen, or communicated with the man 
 for the last three months. I hate and despise 
 him!" 
 
 " That is indeed a solemn oath — I cannot 
 doubt it." 
 
 And I did not; but in her eagerness to 
 dispel suspicions which she felt were too well 
 founded, the unhappy woman a third time, 
 with an impassioned energy that was almost ter- 
 ritic, reiterated the awful adjuration in still 
 more emphatic terms ! ! I could not discredit 
 her, and was convinced that I had been misled 
 by some singular coincidence of name. 
 
 " I rejoice," I said, '"■ that I have asked you ; 
 hei'e is some strange mistake that ought, for 
 your own sake, to be cleared up, and (producing 
 the card) we must find out to whom this be- 
 longs; I got it at Tets worth." 
 
 Xever, to my dying hour, can I forget the 
 scene that followed ! No sooner did the miser- 
 able wonuin see the card, than she uttered a
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 273 
 
 maniac shriek, gazed at me with a wild and 
 vacant look, and fell senseless in my arms ! It 
 was no affectation. Shame, terror, and re- 
 morse, gave dreadful sincerity to the scene. 
 I dared not call for help, lest in the first return 
 of consciousness her feelings should hetray her 
 to third parties. A glass of water that I threw 
 suddenly on her face, recalled her to life, and 
 though she continued hysterical for some time, 
 she rallied with a facility that astonished me. 
 She now confessed the assignation, and much 
 more of deeper guilt than I desired to hear, but 
 her openness now would not be restrained ; it 
 was as if it comforted her thus to atone for her 
 late duplicity. In concert with her father, I 
 easily succeeded in breaking off that con- 
 nexion ; indeed so easily, that it was clear, if 
 affection ever had existed, it was for ever gone ; 
 we even saved her from exposure, but I fear 
 that we wholly failed in restoring her to a 
 better path, for as it afterwards appeared, this 
 had not been her first, nor even her second 
 deviation from it. Yet she was young — fair 
 as an ansrel from heaven, and her lovelv features 
 seemed stamped with the expression of truth 
 
 itself. Years have rolled over since that mel- 
 12*
 
 274 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 ancholy scene, and I have seen lier but once 
 since it occurred ; that once was sufficient ; she 
 is still young, but all her beauty is gone ! 
 
 We cannot be too guarded in the confidence 
 we repose in female testimony, or too pointed 
 in our preliminary examinations. Miss Stan- 
 ton was a young lady of eighteen, who had 
 certainly been very ill-used by a thoughtlesy 
 coxcomb, a clergyman of six - and - twenty : 
 like many rascals of the same species, he had 
 won the girl's affections, and breaking off his 
 acquaintance with her, traduced her character 
 as an excuse for his heartless caprice. Her 
 parents, most unwisely in my opinion, brought 
 an action for the breach of promise. To prove 
 the promise, we were to call the sister, exactly a 
 year younger than herself. I was assured by 
 the father and mother, that her evidence would 
 be quite satisfactory, but she was very reluctant 
 to be examined by me ; for this very reason I 
 resolved to interrogate her closely. She came 
 to my office accompanied by her mother. 
 
 " "Well, Miss Stanton, you were a good deal 
 in your sister's confidence ? " 
 
 " No, sir," playing with a reticule, and look- 
 ing sheepishly on the ground.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 275 
 
 "You were aware of her intimacj with. 
 Thornhill?" 
 
 " No, Sir," taking her handkerchief out of 
 the said reticule, and unconsciously replacing it. 
 
 " I believe you have seen them often to- 
 gether ? " 
 
 " Sometimes, Sir." She had now tied the 
 strings into a complicated knot, and was in- 
 tently engaged in untying it. 
 
 " Attend to me, my dear young lady ; I am 
 speaking of important matters." 
 
 " Oh, la ! Sir, what do you mean ? I know 
 nothing about it, I'm sure ; do I, Ma ? " 
 
 " Never mind your Mamma, my dear, but 
 just answer my questions." 
 
 " You had better ask my sister herself, Sir ; 
 she can tell you all about it, I suppose." 
 
 " No doubt ; but she can't speak for herself, 
 you know." 
 
 " Indeed she can. Sir ; she's never much at a 
 loss." 
 
 " "Well ; at present she is not here, so I would 
 rather hear you." 
 
 " Oh ! Ma can bring her to-morrow; won't 
 you, Ma ? " and here the little fool again took 
 out her handkerchief, and affected to wipe her eyes«
 
 276 ADVEiS^TURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " She is very nervous, Mr. Sharpe ; slie is 
 easily excited, poor thing; and she feels very 
 deeply for her sister; we had better defer it 
 to another day, Sir." 
 
 " There is no time like the present, Mrs. Stan- 
 ton ; I think she will be more at her ease if you 
 will leave her alone with me for five minutes." 
 
 " Don't go, Ma ! pray don't leave me, Ma ! " 
 sobbed out the simpleton. "I'm sure I know 
 nothing at all about it; pray don't go. Ma!" 
 
 However, as Ma ! was still coaxing, and caress- 
 ing, and consoling her, I saw she would only 
 make matters worse, so I insisted on having a 
 tete-a-tete, and prevailed on the old lady to 
 withdraw into the next room. As soon as she 
 was gone, I changed my mode of attack. 
 
 " Now, Mary, tell me all about it." 
 
 " Well, where am I to begin ?" she asked, 
 promptly responding to the tone of levity in 
 which I addressed her. 
 
 " Where you please, my dear." 
 
 " Oh dear, Mr. Sharpe ! you are so funny ; but 
 I'll tell you all I know, only don't tell Pa or 
 Ma : promise me that, won't you ? I won't say 
 a word if you don't! I won't indeed." 
 
 "I*^ever fear; you are quite safe."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 277 
 
 "Well, then, you must know that Mr. Thorn- 
 hill, — but is that door shut ?" and she rose from 
 her chair to examine it, and then listened to try 
 if she could overhear anything : having satisfied 
 herself on this point, she resumed her seat, again 
 had recourse to her reticule, tied and untied the 
 knot, and then began a second time, 
 
 " But do you want to hear about Mr, Thorn- 
 hill, or Anne ?" 
 
 " Tell your story your own way, Mary." 
 
 "Don't you think Mr. Thornhill is a very 
 nice man, Mr. Sharpe ?" 
 
 I stared at her, wholly unable to guess where 
 this was to end, and made no answer, lest I 
 should provoke her to draw back. 
 
 " Well, I see you don't like him any more 
 than the rest ; but he certainly is very hand- 
 some, and dresses very well." 
 
 " When did you first become acquainted with 
 him?" 
 
 " Oh ! you know he was paying his addresses 
 to Anne when I came home from school." 
 
 " What did he say to her?" 
 
 " I really don't know, I never attended to 
 him, till one day he took me on his knee, and 
 asked me how I liked him."
 
 278 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 "What! did he pay his addresses to you 
 too?" 
 
 " La ! no, not then ; he was all after Anne, 
 at that time." 
 
 " And how far did he go with you ? " 
 
 " That's not fair, Mr. Sharpe ; I ought not 
 to tell you that; you shouldn't ask me." 
 
 " I don't want to pry into your vSecrets, but I 
 suppose he kissed you now and then ?" 
 
 "Hush, hush, Mr. Sharpe! Ma will hear 
 you ; " running to the door to see that it was 
 still closed. 
 
 " And he quarrelled with Anne on your ac- 
 count, didn't he?" 
 
 " Well, if he did, it was not my fault, nor 
 Ms either ! Anne was so cross with him." 
 
 " When did you last hear from him?" 
 
 " Who told you that he wrote to me? I must 
 have dropped the letter ! " opening and search- 
 ing her reticule with obvious alarm; "oh no! 
 liere it is, all safe," returning a letter into the 
 bag, " but you promised me you would not 
 tell Ma." 
 
 Such was the innocent young lady on whom 
 the anxious parents relied, to sustain the char- 
 nc'ter of her deserted sister! of course the
 
 IN SEARCH or PRACTICE. 279 
 
 action was abandoned, and about twelve months 
 after, the little coquette eloped with the reverend 
 Lothario.
 
 280 ADVENTURES OS AN ATTORNEY 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 "Crede ratem ventis, anlmum ne crede puellis."— Ovid. 
 
 There is this marked distinction to be ob- 
 served in the management of children, and 
 female witnesses, — the former cannot be ex- 
 amined too lightly ; the latter must be probed 
 to the bottom. The child must be reminded 
 of time, place, and circumstance, and these 
 facts may be impressed on the recollection, by 
 quietly collating them with holidays, birthdays, 
 sight -seeing, or any other incidents dear to 
 infantine memory; but there our duty ends: 
 every word said to a witness under fourteen, 
 and sometimes much above that age, that tends 
 to open his understanding to the direct or 
 collateral importance of a given fact, tends to 
 alarm, and by alarming, to confuse or em- 
 barrass him ; not that he seeks to trim his evi- 
 dence, but that he fears the consequences of it,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 281 
 
 and thus takes elaborate pains to correct, when 
 if he spoke fearlessly, he would be naturally 
 correct without exertion. Whichever \\i\y he 
 may betray anxiety, whether for or against the 
 party calling him, it tells equally in favor of an 
 opponent; for counsel will always, with an 
 ingenuity that though professional is malevo- 
 lent, ascribe embarrassment to the shame of 
 conscious disingenuousness. Juries are not yet 
 sufficiently enlightened, and I suspect never 
 will be, to detect the artifices of counsel, before 
 they leave the jury-box. An infant witness 
 may, and often does, fall short of the mark, but 
 that is comparatively immaterial, so long as he 
 is not embarrassed in what he does say; he 
 never will prove himself embarrassed, though 
 he may be disconcerted, merely by the rough- 
 ness of cross-examination. I have seen a child 
 so frightened by it as to burst into tears, and 
 this tells as well as a woman's pretty face, if the 
 evidence in chief has been consistent and 
 straight -forward: but embarrassment is the 
 inevitable result of any previous preparation, 
 however honestly intended; such as "mind 
 you don't forget this," or, " be sure you speak 
 out, and tell every thing you heard," etc. In a
 
 282 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 word, a child is tlie best, or the most dangerous 
 witness you can call. 
 
 Women however, of whatever age, demand 
 the most sedulous attention, before you can 
 rely on the evidence they profess to give ; the 
 anecdotes that I have just mentioned show 
 this, but as they relate to artful females, and in 
 the first case to an unprincipled one, they are 
 not characteristic of the sex, it may be hoped. 
 I will give another example. 
 
 I had occasion to prove the due execution of 
 a will to pass real estate, in a cause in which I 
 was concerned for a devisee against the heir-at- 
 law. My client's title was not altogether devoid 
 of suspicion, and of course I was the more 
 anxious about the consistency of the attesting 
 witnesses : one of them was a young woman 
 of six -and -twenty ; very intelligent, and re- 
 markably prepossessing in her appearance, as 
 well as decidedly above her class in point of 
 manners and address. She had attested the 
 will as Margaret Connor. When I required 
 her evidence, she had become Mrs. M'Carthy : 
 at the execution of the will she was a domestic 
 in the family. A few days before the trial I 
 sent for her to my office.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 283 
 
 " I believe, Mrs. M'Carthy, you are aware of 
 my object in sending for yon ? " 
 
 "It is about Mr. Brook's will I believe, Sir." 
 
 " Yes : do you recollect the circumstances 
 of bis death ? " 
 
 " Perfectly, Sir : I was in the house at the 
 time, and lived in the family for three years 
 before he died." 
 
 " How long before his death did he make 
 this will ? " 
 
 "About six weeks." 
 
 " And the codicil ? " 
 
 " Only a few days : I think less than a week." 
 
 " I see you attested both; who asked you to 
 witness them? " 
 
 "Mr. Brook." 
 
 " Where did he execute tbem ? " 
 
 "He executed the will in the drawing-room, 
 while lying on the sofa : the codicil in his bed, 
 where he died." 
 
 "And the other witnesses were present? " 
 
 " Oh yes, Sir; they were drinking tea together 
 the first time : they sent for me the second." 
 
 N'othing could be more certain or satisfac- 
 tory : I made a note of her evidence, and de- 
 sired her to call on me again the day before
 
 284 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 the trial : she came, however, the following 
 morning. 
 
 " I have been thinldng over it, Mr. Sharpe, 
 and I believe I was not quite right." 
 
 '• In what respect ? " 
 
 " They were not drinking tea, Sir, when I 
 attested the will." 
 
 " Well, that is not material ; you are sure, I 
 suppose, that you were all together ?" 
 
 " Yes, Sir, I am sure of that ; but I don't 
 know that we were in the drawino;-room." 
 
 " Where else might it have been?" 
 
 "Perhaps in the dining-room." 
 
 " That's of no consequence, if you are right 
 on other points ; think over it all, and see me 
 again to-morrow." 
 
 This was a little annoying, especially as I 
 had no opportunity of checking her by com- 
 paring notes with the other witnesses, one of 
 whom M^as dead, and the other had married the 
 widow whose interest it was to support the 
 will ; but the next day matters looked still 
 worse. She came in apparently under some 
 excitement : 
 
 "I am sure, Mr. Sharpe, you had better not 
 examine me."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 285 
 
 " I can't do without you, but what is the mat- 
 ter now ?" 
 
 " I've thought over it a good deal, Sir, and 
 the more I think, the less I can make of it; I 
 can't be of any use." 
 
 " You don't doubt your own writing, surely! 
 look at the will ao-ain." 
 
 " Oh, I'm quite sure of all that, but I can't 
 tell who was present; I wish you could do with- 
 out me." 
 
 " But you say in your attestation, that you 
 signed in each other's presence; you would hard- 
 ly sign 3'our name to a positive falsehood !" 
 
 " I hope not, Sir ; but I wish you would excuse 
 me; I'm sure I shall do you no good." 
 
 " I must take my chance of that." 
 
 The chance, however, seemed but a poor one; 
 still I did not despair; I suspected that she had 
 some secret motive for wishing to avoid exami- 
 nation, and I was bent on j&nding it out. My 
 ingenuity was racked in vain; she utterly dis- 
 dained all motive but a doubt as to the partic- 
 ular circumstances that had occurred at the time, 
 and as I could not dispense mth her, I gave 
 myself no further trouble about it : the next day 
 she was called and gave her evidence clearly and
 
 28G ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 decidedly . the cross - examination elicited tlie 
 secret. 
 
 " What are you, Mrs. Dennis M'Carthy ?" 
 
 " The wife of Mr. Dennis M'Carthy." 
 
 "What is he?" 
 
 " A lawyer's clerk, but an honest man not- 
 withstanding!" with .a little premature irritabil- 
 ity, for a woman under cross-examination al- 
 ways bristles up like a porcupine at the approach 
 of any noxious animal ; she knows not how little 
 avails the wrath of man, woman, or porcupine 
 against forensic assurance. 
 
 "ITo doubt of it, Mrs. M'Carthy; and I dare 
 say you are an honest woman too. (Here she 
 blushed and looked down, a show of emotion 
 that did not escape unnoticed, as the next ques- 
 tion proved.) In what capacity did you live 
 with Mr. Brook?" 
 
 "I acted as — nurse," (with hesitation). 
 
 " Was that all ?" 
 
 "I assisted Mrs. Brook." 
 
 " In what way ?" 
 
 " She was often an invalid, and — and — I 
 used to act for her." 
 
 " How ?" 
 
 " In her household — duties," (still hesitating.)
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 287 
 
 "All her duties, Mrs. M'Carthy?" laying a 
 scarcely perceptible emphasis on the word 'all.' 
 This was too much for Mrs. M'Carthy's pa- 
 tience ; she flared up, to use an expressive phrase 
 almost grown obsolete, and pettishly declared 
 that "she did not understand the question." 
 
 "Oh yes you do, Mrs. M'Carthy: I mean all 
 her conjugal duties ?" 
 
 "I won't answer you: you are no gentle- 
 man I am sure, though you are a lawyer ! I 
 won't answer another word." 
 
 "Don't be angry, Mrs. M'Carthy, I will trou- 
 ble you no more," glancing expressively at the 
 jury. I fear the insinuation was too well found- 
 ed; fortunately for me I was able to confirm 
 her testimony as to the presence of all parties by 
 the medical man who had attended the testator 
 daily, and chanced to be in the room at the ex- 
 ecution both of the will and codicil, having in 
 fact suggested the propriety of not deferring the 
 duty : but for this circumstance I should have 
 broken down upon the attestation, simply be- 
 cause I had not the penetration to detect the 
 cause of the witness's reluctance, and prepare her 
 to meet the exposure, if I failed in averting it 
 by appealing to the humanity of our opponents.
 
 288 ADVENTUBES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 But certainly of all the variety of duties im- 
 posed on us by our peculiar occupation, there is 
 not one more difficult to perform, or that requires 
 more delicacy of address, than to measure the 
 extent to which a female may be prudently ex- 
 posed to the fire of a cross-examination. I nev- 
 er yet found a woman, young or old, silly or 
 sensible, plebeian or patrician, that could stand 
 it, or that did not make a fool of herself if she 
 failed in making one of me. The case must be 
 desperate indeed where the attorney has no help 
 for it but in the straight- forward evidence of a 
 woman : should he unhappily find himself in 
 such a strait, the wisest thing he can do is to let 
 1 ler tell her story in her own way ; and tell it onl}'- 
 once for all : if she is good-looking it may pass ; 
 if not, she must be taught an hysteric fit at the 
 right moment, and this may perchance save him.
 
 IN SEARCH OP PRACTICE. 289 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 " Non datur ac veras audire ei reddere voces." — Ms. L 
 
 "Witnesses of our own sex are a more prac- 
 ticable race, but there are still very few who 
 can be trusted without some drilling : witnesses 
 are like the muscles of the body, voluntarv and 
 involuntary in their action ; but with this differ- 
 ence; your voluntary witness cannot be res- 
 trained, your involuntary witness never acts 
 spontaneously. A voluntary witness enters 
 into the matter with all the zeal of a partisan ; 
 so much so that we besrin to fancy we have 
 made a mistake in the parties, and that the 
 witness ought to have been the plaintiff; with 
 professional slang, he adopts the first person 
 plural, " "We have been very ill treated, Mr. 
 Sharper we owe it to the public to take the 
 
 opinion of a jury," nor will any quiet intima- 
 13 * ^
 
 290 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 tioii of mistake serve to rescue him from this 
 confusion of }»ersonal identity. 
 
 A fraudulent misrepresentation of profits was 
 the ground of action ; I was examining an ac- 
 countant who had Ijcen emplo^'ed hy mj client 
 on negotiating the purchase. 
 
 " Did the defendant fairly expose his books ?" 
 
 " I cannot complain of him on that score, 
 Mr. Sharpe." 
 
 " Then how came you to be deceived ? " 
 
 "Deceived! I never am deceived, Sir; I 
 should like to see the man who can deceive me, 
 give me his bill -book, his cash-book, his pass- 
 book, his day-book, and his ledger! but we 
 are the victims of fraud, Sir ! we are all liable to 
 be cheated. Sir ! we have been shamefully cheat- 
 ed — swindled — regularly done in this case." 
 
 ''I incline to agree with you, but how do you 
 make it a^ppear ? " 
 
 " Appear ! it is as clear as the day : we 
 found he kept two accounts, Sir ! two bill- 
 books, Sir! two waste -books. Sir! but we will 
 expose him : our character is at stake I " 
 
 My accountant- witness exposed his own 
 ignorance when he came to be examined, but 
 lie left the defendant intact. I have a great
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE, 291 
 
 antipathy to all voluutarv witnesses ; one of the 
 involuntarv vlass i< worth a score of them, if 
 he has any pretension to principle or character : 
 their dra whack, however, is a very heavy one; 
 you cannot guess, except so far as you can 
 safely confide in your client's story, whether 
 he is safely producible. It occurred to me to 
 examine a man as a witness in that most diffi- 
 cult of all causes, an action for a fraudulent 
 representation of character, whereby credit was 
 obtained ; the witness was a mutual friend, but 
 more inclined to save the defendant than assist 
 the plaintiff; he was a man of principle never- 
 theless. 
 
 " I understand, Mr. Thomson, that you re- 
 ported to my client the opinion that the de- 
 fendant entertained of the banki'upt?" 
 
 " I can't say I made any report, Sir." 
 
 " But you stated that the defendant had large 
 dealings on credit with him ? " 
 
 " I never spoke of large dealings with any- 
 body." 
 
 " He did deal on credit with him, however?" 
 
 " He may have done so. Sir." 
 
 " Did he not tell you so?" 
 
 *' He may or he may not."
 
 292 ADVENTIJKKS OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " You were requested to make the inquiry of 
 Mm?" 
 
 " Yes : I can't deny that." 
 
 "And you told him that my client had asked 
 you?" 
 
 " I believe I did." 
 
 " What answer did he give you ?" 
 
 " I can not recall his exact words." 
 
 " Well : what answer did you take back to 
 my client?" 
 
 "I suppose he has told you, Mr. Sharpe?" 
 
 " Yes ; but I wish to know what you can 
 tell me." 
 
 " You'll hear it all when I am examined in 
 court." 
 
 " How can I judge of the prudence of exam- 
 ining you in court, if you will not tell me what 
 you have to say ? " 
 
 " I shall speak the truth, Sir." 
 . " No doubt of it ; but what is the truth of 
 the case ? " 
 
 "Excuse me. Sir; I don't like to tx.dl the 
 same story half-a-dozen times; I shall tell it 
 when I am in the witness-box." 
 
 " Did you make any memorandum of your 
 conversation ? "
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 293 
 
 "Perhaps I may; I decline saying anything 
 at present." 
 
 " Aly client's goods found their way into the 
 defendant's possession, I believe ?" 
 
 " Possibly ; the defendant dealt with the 
 bankrupt." 
 
 " Don't you Icnow that they did ? " 
 
 " I am not obliged to tell you the extent of 
 my knowledge, Mr. Sharpe ? " 
 
 " In fair dealing, I think you are." 
 
 "I cannot agree with you, Sir; I wish you 
 good morning." 
 
 And he walked off. I was left to decide for 
 myself, whether on this equivocal evidence, but 
 partially disclosing a tenth part of the merits, 
 it was prudent to. proceed. I thought not; my 
 client understood the man better, and trusted 
 him ; nor was he disappointed. In the witness- 
 box he bore out the case to its full extent, 
 though by his ill-timed reserve he had nearly 
 crowned with success the fraud practiced on 
 an innocent man. These pig-headed block- 
 heads are the most daugerous of involuntary 
 witnesses ; we can only rely on them so far as 
 we have confidence in the instructions we have 
 received, and in the respect which we may
 
 29-1 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 assume that they will pay to their oath : but if 
 we can rely on tliem, they are the best. 
 
 A witness requires to be studied with close 
 attention, and the opportunity of studying him 
 is best obtained by quietly leaving him to speak 
 for himself, unless it appear that he is deterred 
 by bashfulness or timidity. I have usually 
 found that men are more communicative when 
 they can be prevailed upon to call on me, than 
 when I call on them. In the latter case they 
 are on their guard; they are afraid of com- 
 mitting themseb^es, and take refuge in cautious 
 silence; in the former, they are compelled to 
 open the occasion of their visit by way of self- 
 introduction, and they gradually, and almost 
 unconsciously, slide into full conversation. An 
 attorney must be a very dull fellow, who after 
 an interview of half- an -hour, cannot form a 
 fair opinion of the safety, as well as the value 
 of a witness, in any ordinary case. His policy 
 is to draw him out without letting it appear 
 that he does so ; for such is our bad odor, that 
 no sooner does a man suspect that we are ob- 
 serving him, than he draws in his horns, and 
 shrinks back into the very inmost recesses of 
 his shell. At one time I made it a habit to
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 295 
 
 take out ink and paper, and reduce at once to 
 writlno" all that mv witnesses stated, while thev 
 were still with me; sometimes I do it still, and 
 where it can be etfected without exciting alarm, 
 it is a useful practice ; but I was cured of it as 
 a habit by more than one instance of the fol- 
 lowing kind : 
 
 " Bless me, Mr. Sharpe, what are you doing 
 there ? " 
 
 " Only making a minute of your evidence 
 for counsel." 
 
 " Minute of my evidence ! I won't agree to 
 that ! " 
 
 "Why not? you can't think that I can re- 
 member all we have been savins: ? " 
 
 "I can't help that; I'm not going to swear 
 in black and white ; I have told you the truth, 
 but I'm not going to be taken down," 
 
 " Will you write it yourself? " 
 
 "Ko indeed! I may have made a thousand 
 mistakes; I'll do no such thing." 
 
 " Come, now, be reasonable ; what is the use 
 of your telling me all this, if it is to go no 
 further ? and how can I make use of it, if I am 
 not at liberty to take notes of it ? " 
 
 " That's your affiiir, not mine ; I have noth-
 
 296 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 ing to do with it. Give me that paper, or I'll 
 not say another word." 
 
 And I have been obliged to .surrender my 
 memorandums as a peace -oiFering, to secure 
 further communication ! All this is prodigi- 
 ouslv absurd, but it is our lot to deal with the 
 absurdities not less than with the passions of 
 mankind. 
 
 I have observed that children should never 
 be instructed as to the value of their evidence ; 
 and as a general maxim it applies to adults, 
 more especially if they are of the class volun- 
 tary ; not that witnesses of this stamp are 
 prone, as in the case of children, to become 
 embarrassed and confused, but because such 
 tuition leads to a very kindred, and yet more 
 mischievous fault. As soon as their cross- 
 examination begins, they are sure to assume an 
 attitude of self - defense ; while counsel is amus- 
 ing them with pointless questions, they indulge 
 in pert and flippant rejoinders, and this of 
 itself will prejudice a jury, unless accompanied 
 with a power of witty repartee that rarely falls 
 to the lot of man. When however, the cross- 
 examination approaches the point which they 
 have been taught to feel of importance, flip-
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE 297 
 
 pancy changes into sudden reserve, and tlie 
 prejudice of the jury settles into confirmed 
 distrust. I never indulge the self-complacency 
 of a voluntary witness, and the more important 
 I feel his evidence to be, the more indifference 
 I show about it, till I succeed in bringing him 
 down to a very diluted strength. I have been 
 obliged sometimes to go so far as to intimate 
 considerable doubt if he would be wanted at 
 all ; this often produces that humble frame of 
 mind, which is the best of all preparatives for 
 the witness-box where a witness is not cursed 
 with too much sensibilitv of nerve 
 
 There are some precautions that are requisite 
 with witnesses of ever}- class ; the very utmost 
 patience must be exhibited in our intercourse 
 with them, let them take what time thev like to 
 tell their story, and digress from it as often, and 
 in what direction they please : never pin them 
 down to accuracy or consistency till they have 
 had their say out. To irritate a witness is death 
 to a cause; and of all sources of irritation, in- 
 terruption is the surest, especially to a garrulous 
 or prosing man: moreover, in telling a story 
 their own way, witnesses will often let facts of 
 
 real iiii])()rtance escape them, which you would 
 1>5*
 
 298 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 never elicit by the most keen interrogation. I 
 liavc usually found that dull or illiterate men 
 will Ijeiriii their statement with some risfmarole 
 of antediluvian date, in nowise connected with 
 the subject- matter of the cause, except through 
 some iiiiTeuiouslv twisted association of their 
 own fancy; tluy then skip over every interme- 
 diate occurrence till they come to facts, most 
 deeply' impressed on their memory, because the 
 most recent; this is invariably the case in all 
 matters relating to domestic or family disputes; 
 in all affairs where the scene of action has been 
 partly abroad; and above all in complicated 
 cases of justified libel, or of intricate pecuniary 
 accounts. Hence, after the first conversation, 
 the attorney finds himself involved iu a jumble 
 of detail, which no ingenuity can unravel or 
 simplify. To correct this desultory style, it is 
 judicious to note down half- a- dozen dates of 
 the principal events, and entice the witness into 
 a recapitulation of his narrative, checking and 
 recalling him to the periods which you have 
 noted. By thus introducing a chronological 
 principle of arrangement, without appearing to 
 tie him down to it, a clear and connected tale 
 may often be deduced from a mass of chaotic
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 299 
 
 confusion. Where several witnesses are neces- 
 sary to complete a long chain of evidence, this 
 precaution is duuh] y requisite, fur if they are 
 confronted, and are not equally clear and pre- 
 cise, they will inevitably contradict each other 
 on some important date or occurrence, and hy 
 argument and discussion will each provoke the 
 other into bigoted adherence to his own recol- 
 lection ; it then becomes a point of honor, or 
 at least of temper, (often the same thing,) to 
 withhold the least concession of error. It is 
 most dangerous at any time to hold a convoca- 
 tion of witnesses, till by separate examination 
 we have arrived at a straight - forward and con- 
 sistent stor} ; when once this is attained, it is 
 convenient to assemble them, as you can at 
 once reconcile any petty and seeming incon- 
 sistencies to their own satisfaction, and this is 
 of the last consequence if you anticipate the 
 necessity of excluding an opponent's witnesses, 
 (and of course, therefore, your own,) pending 
 the progress of the trial.
 
 300 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 " Ut tautum faciuus uon in aequitate defensionis, sed in una littera 
 latuisse videahir?" — Crc. pro A. Cfecin. 
 
 Another precaution that can never be safely 
 omitted, and at which I have ah-eady glanced, 
 is to make witnesses produce every letter or 
 memorandum which they can recollect writing 
 or receiving, respecting the matters at issue : 
 an attorney should never be taken by surprise, 
 by the sudden development of any writing of 
 importance ; his safest course is always to ask 
 for all correspondence, and to read all, when it 
 is produced ; for one letter will often give no- 
 tice of another. I can mention two incidents 
 of a very curious character that will illustrate 
 the infinite value of documentary evidence, 
 though apparently of the most trivial descrip- 
 tion : I received one of them from a civilian of 
 high rank, and well -merited professional dis- 
 tinction.
 
 IN SEARCE OF PRACTICE. 301 
 
 Property to an immense amount depended 
 on the iei^-itimucy of an ancestor wliose parents 
 were supposed to have been married in tlie 
 year 1730. The system of registration, either 
 of birth or marriage, was then scarcely known, 
 or at least very imperfectly practiced ; the 
 period of the ancestor's birth, however, had 
 been ascertained with accuracy, and this even- 
 tually led to the discovery of the registration 
 of his parents' marriage ; but to the dismay of 
 the attorney, it appeared that the marriage was 
 registered some months after the birth. There 
 was every reason to believe that the register 
 Avas inaccurate ; the rank and character of the 
 parties, and the long -recognized claims of the 
 heir, combined to negative the supposition that 
 his legitimacy could have thus easily been chal- 
 lenged at the very period of his birth, and yet 
 have so long remained doubtful : but argument 
 avails but little against positive record, and the 
 attorney was alarmed at the prospect. He 
 hurried to his counsel, to announce the dis- 
 covery he had made; they felt the difficulty, 
 but the case was too serious to be abandoned 
 without a further effort, and the register might 
 possibly be inaccurate : he was recommended
 
 302 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 to institute diligent inquiry for the representa- 
 tives of the clergyman who had solemnized the 
 marriage, as it was proljable that he had been 
 personally acquainted with the parties, and it 
 Avas possible that his papers might, if found, 
 open new channels of intelligence; the attorney 
 started on this voyage of discovery, founded 
 like that to the J^orth Pole, on possibility 
 within possibility ! He succeeded in finding 
 the representatives of the clergyman in some 
 of his great-grandchildren, who liberally 
 opened their family archives to his researches. 
 Among other venerable relics of antiquity was 
 a trunk of papers, and half- sorted correspond- 
 ence. Hour after hour, and day after day, 
 were spent in unfolding and perusing it; even- 
 tually his perseverance was rewarded ; he found 
 a letter of invitation to the reverend divine, 
 requesting the honor of his company to the 
 nuptial feast, and a memorandum of the cere- 
 mony indorsed upon it, in the same hand- 
 writino; with the res-ister ! That memorandum 
 bore date, as did the letter itself, exactly a year 
 before the ancestor's birth, and fifteen months 
 prior to the registration of the marriage. 
 
 The other instance to which I have referred,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 303 
 
 occurred personally to myself, and is tLercfore 
 fur liiure iuterestiug to me, aiid likely, perhaps to 
 be more instructive to my readers. 1 was p]af(<l 
 in the verv painful position of beinu- ol)li"-ed 
 to prove that a deed ^^•lli^li had Ijcen prepared 
 and executed in my office, was only delivered as 
 an escrow, till tlie investigation of a title had 
 "been completed. It was contended on the other 
 side, that it had been executed unconditionally, 
 all objections to the title having been waived ; 
 the action was brought under very special cir- 
 cumstances, to recover the purchase- money from 
 my clients, who were the purchasers ; the deed 
 had been executed during my absence from Lon- 
 don ; a fact that I could not doubt, inasmuch as 
 it bore date in the first week of September, being 
 a week that I never remember to have spent 
 within the region of Cockaigne ; but it was 
 above two years after the date of it, that I was 
 called to swear to the fact, and I could obtain 
 no evidence but my own to sustain my alibi. 
 Meanwhile I was opposed ( not in a professional 
 sense, for the plaintiff" 's attorney w^as a very re- 
 spectable man, though ndsled as to the merits of 
 his case, ) to two of the greatest villains that 
 ever adorned our honorable profession, and I
 
 804 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 knew that it was intended by these fellows to 
 swear that they had seeii mc personally at my 
 office, on the occasion of the deed being executed, 
 and that I had then consented to complete the 
 purchase. I have been satisfied by subsequent 
 events, that this intended defense was kindly in- 
 timated to me to intimidate me from entering 
 the witness - box ! The plaintifi* was a worthy 
 alderman, whose blundering stupidity is the 
 best pledge that he was no party to the iniqui- 
 tous scheme. The hint thus given to me of the 
 intended line of defense, had certainly the effect 
 of annoying me as much as malice could desire, 
 for it was tantamount to telling me that if I 
 swore to what I knew to be the truth, I .should 
 be visited with an indictment for iierjurj ! 
 They little knew me, however, when they hoped 
 thereby to deter me from a strict professional 
 duty. After perplexing myself in vain to think 
 of corroborative evidence, it flashed across my 
 mind that being out of town at the time, and of 
 course obliged daily to write to my managing- 
 clerk on matters of business, he might possibly 
 have retained some of my letters, though it was 
 not his habit to preserve them. Laborious in- 
 deed was the search I made, but all in \ain ! it
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 305 
 
 was the eve of trial, and having spent days in 
 turning over every bundle of papers relating to 
 business then in hand, all to no purpose, I re- 
 solved to meet niy fate with the best fece I 
 could, and trust to heaven for the rest. I had 
 returned from our final consultation at a late 
 hour, hopeless almost of escape, when my clerk 
 met me with exultation in liis features, holding 
 in his hand the envelope of a letter, addressed 
 in my writing to himself, and bearing a pro- 
 vincial postmark fifty miles from London, of 
 the xevy date of the deed in question! Here 
 was conclusive evidence of my accuracy, and 
 my alibi. I gave my testimony with comfor- 
 table coolness, and no contradiction was even 
 offered ! The envelope had been used to wrap 
 up a pill -box, which he had fumbled out of 
 his drawer, after the twentieth ejectment of all 
 its contents in fruitless search I It is worth 
 remarking, though foreign to the immediate 
 subject, that it afterwards appeared that the 
 professional swindlers who had meditated this 
 diabolical scheme, had forged all the deeds on 
 which the title depended, and but for a trifling- 
 circumstance, that awakened my suspicion of 
 fraud, though I never dreamt of the extent of
 
 806 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 it, my clients would have completed their pur- 
 chase, and lost three thousand pounds : it was 
 in pursuance of their fraud that they had pre- 
 vailed on my clerk, during my absence, to 
 consent to the execution of the deed "without 
 prejudice; " but it would take too long, and be 
 profitless to boot, to explain the whole of this 
 infamous conspiracy, though I afterwards 
 traced to the pen of one of the party, anony- 
 mous letters on the evidence of which he might, 
 at that time, have been hanged ; and would 
 have been, but for the forbearance of my gener- 
 ous client. I would rather fight the devil 
 under the gallows for a gibbeted thief, than 
 get involved in personal controversy with an 
 "unprincipled attorney I it is but one degree 
 better to be his client. 
 
 I have dwelt at considerable length on the 
 examination of evidence, because it is the most 
 important of all duties that fall to the lot of the 
 attorney, and it is the only one in which he can 
 derive no assistance from the superior informa- 
 tion of counsel : indeed, I have generally found 
 counsel more unskillful in the private examina- 
 tion of witnesses, than ourselves. 1 should not 
 exhaust the subject, if I were to write a folio,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 307 
 
 nor should I succeed in the instruction of my 
 reader, if I could find one with patience to read 
 the said folio, for it is entirely a inatter of tact 
 and address to extract a witness's knowledge, 
 without alarming him on the one hand, or 
 tutoring him on the other : I cannot however 
 quit the topic without another remark or two 
 that may assist in acquiring this tact. Where 
 witnesses are inclined to open at all, they are 
 far more communicative at the first interview 
 than they ever are afterwards; the private 
 meditation that follows the first discussion of 
 the subject with the attorney is by no means 
 conducive to frankness on a second examina- 
 tion : the -examinant begins to reflect more 
 seriously on the case than he did before; con- 
 science suggests u doubt (I am only speaking of 
 honest witnesses, such as an honest attorney 
 may call,) whether he may not have exaggerated 
 a little, and given an unfair color to the facts : 
 whether he may not, from the wish to oblige a 
 friend, have spoken with prejudice; or if free 
 from prejudice, whether he has not been some- 
 what hasty and thoughtless in his statements : 
 when reflections like these begin to haunt his 
 mind, a re -action takes place; on his second
 
 308 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 visit lie doubts ; lie is "not quite sure" — "he 
 would be sorry to speak unfairly " — "an oatli 
 is a serious matter : " and then he qualifies, and 
 modifies, and neutralizes, till he gets bewildered 
 in scruples of his own creation, and ends by 
 retracting every word he has previously uttered, 
 fii.lling into the natural error of saying too 
 little to avoid the danger of saying too much. 
 I have known many a witness to whom "the 
 truth " was an intelligible part of the oath, but 
 who found " the whole truth and nothing but 
 the truth," absolutely incomprehensible; as 
 indeed they are to common sense, if " the 
 truth " has any meaning at all. It is important 
 to detect this infirmity in a witness at our first 
 introduction to him, if possible; but if we 
 cannot do this, it is prudent to assume that he 
 is subject to it, and on this assumption to get 
 all out of him that we can, without subjecting 
 him to a second ordeal : we may generally trust 
 to such a witness to confirm on oath, substan- 
 tially at least, whatever he has first stated ; but 
 to prevent disappointment to counsel on ex- 
 amining him in court, in this and perhaps in 
 every case, it is most prudent in narrating his 
 expected evidence in the brief, to refrain from
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 809 
 
 giving it in any stronger or more decided terms 
 than we have ourselves received it in from his 
 lips; and if we must err, to err on the side of 
 moderation and distrust. Akin to this sus:£:es- 
 tiou is another, which obvious as it is, is too 
 frequently neglected in practice; never to post- 
 pone the examination of the witnesses till the 
 eve of trial : most men are content to take their 
 client's word for the facts, and bring or defend 
 the action without further precaution: this is 
 all very well, if the main object is to secure 
 costs in any event : but if the desire is what it 
 ought to be, to avoid litigation, wherever facts 
 only are disputed, and the law is clear, then 
 the attorney's £rst duty is to check his client's 
 accuracy, by catechising his witnesses before 
 costs are incurred, and while the circumstances 
 are yet recent in their memory. 
 
 Some of the adventures before narrated, fully 
 bear out the wisdom of this policy, but it is 
 well worth pointed repetition.
 
 310 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 "Le vrai n'est pas toujours le vraisemblable." 
 
 ROCHEFOUCAULT. 
 
 "While I have learnt to be very scrupulous in 
 receiving for gospel, what even the most honest 
 and well - meaning witnesses may tell me, I have 
 acquired another lesson not less important to 
 professional men : never to refuse credit to a 
 story, merely because it is opposed to all prob- 
 ability, or at variance with the ordinary motives 
 and conduct of mankind, or with the apparent 
 station or reputation of the parties whom it 
 involves. I have met with some cases so extra- 
 ordinary in their nature, that they seemed to 
 require almost mathematical demonstration to 
 convince one of their truth : and yet when I 
 have afterwards become familiar with the private 
 history of the parties, that demonstration has 
 been supplied by irresistible moral evidence. 
 Some of these cases are so peculiar, that I dare
 
 IX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. oil 
 
 not mention them, because no disguise of name, 
 date, or circumstance, could prevent recognition 
 of the individuals. I can illustrate my mean- 
 ing however, by two or three, in which I have 
 reason to believe that all the principal actors 
 have long since quitted the stage of life, without 
 leaving any surviving relations so near in blood, 
 that their feelings will be wounded by the ex- 
 posure, even if they should identify the anecdote, 
 I was once consulted by a gentleman about 
 thirty years of age, a very accomplislied man, 
 and remarkably gifted with those attractions 
 that usually win the affections of a woman, 
 upon his defense in a threatened action for 
 criminal conversation. He Was not only a 
 client, but an intimate friend, and he wanted 
 my advice more in the latter character than as 
 his solicitor. I of course inquired into the 
 foundation for the charge, and he absolutely 
 denied that any existed, or could by possibility 
 exist ; he pledged me his honor most solemnly 
 to the truth of his denial, but with so much 
 agitation of manner, and apparent distress of 
 mind, that I doubted him, for he was by no 
 means a man to be alarmed at trifles. I uro;ed 
 upon him the folly of such anxiety, if he was
 
 312 ADVE^sTUllliS OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 conscious that the action could not be sustained, 
 and put it to his good sense to set the menace 
 of it at defiance. He declared this to be out of 
 the question, and to satisfy nie that it was so, 
 he acknowledged to a score of acts of such a 
 nature that any one of them would have been 
 more than sufficient to convince the most in- 
 dulgent or most sceptical jury that ever tried 
 an issue. I inquired into the extent to which 
 the husband might be presumed to be ac- 
 quainted with the conduct of his wife, and 
 found that she had herself, unknown to her 
 lover, confessed their correspondence, and ex- 
 liibitcd his letters ! He showed me extracts 
 from some of those letters that he chanced to 
 have retained, and they were so expressed that 
 they left no doubt of his guilt, even on my 
 mind, though his partial friend. I advised an 
 attempt at compromise, and we effected it at a 
 cost of three hundred pounds. I saw the 
 woman in the course of the negotiation, and 
 certainly, if extreme beauty and the most en- 
 gaging manners could have extenuated my 
 friend's fault, he had every apology. He was, 
 notwithstanding this affair, a man of high- 
 toned feeling, and even principle. Some years
 
 IN rsEAECH OF PRACTICE. 313 
 
 aftei-Hvards lie offered his hand to a hidy, but in 
 doiuii' so he fflt it incumbent on him to disclose 
 these ^Ircuuislances. Her fatlier called «jn luc 
 for a coniirmation of the story, and I though! 
 it right to explain it fully, though I did not 
 feel it necessary to express my utter disbelief of 
 my friend's protestations of actual innocence: 
 his offer, ho^fever, was rejected, and he after- 
 vs^ards found reason to congratulate himself on 
 his failure. The husband died about a year 
 after this disappointment, and partly from 
 Ungering affection perhaps, partly to do justice 
 as he supposed to the woman whose reputation 
 he had injured, he resolved to marry the widow, 
 and disclosed his intentions to me. I entreated 
 him to be cautious, and to allow me to inquire 
 a little into her conduct since the compromise; 
 he followed my advice, and I pursued the in- 
 quiry with diligence; for, in fact, though I 
 never doubted my friend's criminality, I had 
 always suspected that her spontaneous dis- 
 covery of their correspondence proceeded from 
 any feeling but remorse. The death of the 
 husband opened many mouths that had before 
 been closed, and the tenor of his will led to a 
 
 perfect development of the whole iniquity. I 
 14
 
 314 ADVENTUKES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 found in the surgeon who had attended him in 
 his last illness, and was also the medical adviser 
 of the wife, a fellow student and old acquaint- 
 ance in the hospitals, and he told me all. My 
 friend had been the victim, and not the first 
 nor the second victim, of an infamous con- 
 spiracy between the husband and wife, a con- 
 spiracy by which the conjugal feelings could 
 never by possibility be outraged, because that 
 outrage could never by ijossibilitij be effected ! 
 The unnatural and debased creature soon fol- 
 lowed her husband to the grave, though she 
 maintained to the last a quasi reputation that 
 obtained her the frequent opportunity of prac- 
 tising her arts on other dupes. Could I have 
 believed my unlucky friend's assertions in the 
 teeth of all probability, I might have saved his 
 money, and soothed his wounded feelings, by 
 converting them into indignation. 
 
 Another case of a very similar description, 
 occurred in the person of a young man that I 
 knew at Cambridge, and who afterwards resided 
 in one of the inns of court, as a law student. 
 It is only so far in point as it tends to establish 
 my position, that the improbability of finding 
 extreme depravity in one not previously even
 
 IN SEARCH UF PRACTICE. 315 
 
 the object of suspicion, is no conclusive argu- 
 ment for disbelieving it. He too was a gentleman 
 combining great personal attraction with large 
 mental endowments, and even at an early age, 
 lie acquired no inconsiderable distinction in 
 the world; but he was a man of more than 
 the usual share of romance, and thus peculiarly 
 fitted to be the dupe of female artifice. He had 
 scarcely left Cambridge, when he became intro- 
 duced to one of those minor circles which dub 
 themselves fashionable, because they have ac- 
 quired the ease and style of high - bred folly, how- 
 ever far removed by birth from the patrician 
 class ; in truth, in these modern days of liberality, 
 there are but two fashionable classes of societv, 
 however those classes may be subdivided : the 
 men of academic education form the one ; the 
 educated bi/ hook or by crook, form the other : 
 now and then they interlace with each other, 
 but still the line of demarcation is broadly 
 marked ; the superior class branch out in mani- 
 fold directions, and according to taste or circum- 
 stance, associate themselves with a political, a 
 scientific, a professional, or a literary coterie-, 
 the half- educated aspire to the same elevation, 
 and occasionally attain it ; the large herd of
 
 316 ADVENTUllES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 Intermediate talent, who biive no intellectual 
 pretension to rank in any particular study, are 
 hangers - on in the set they happen to fancy, and 
 tnake up for learned deficiency, by boldly assert- 
 ing the exclusiveness of their peculiar circle; 
 men, like these, form the bulk of the fashion- 
 able world ; whether that world rolls along in 
 the coroneted carriage through the streets and 
 squares of aristocracy, or crowds the scientific 
 hall, or lounges in the library chair of the club- 
 room, or with more humility of aspiration, 
 retails the gossip of the House over the good 
 things of a Civic table, or speculates in Russell 
 square on the prospects of the leader on the cir- 
 cuit, such is the materiel of which it is composed. 
 Should one of these intermediate men chance 
 to be a novelist, a dramatist, or a successful 
 pamphleteer, he becomes the temporary nucleus 
 of II petty circle of his own, in which he lion- 
 izes with success. If moreover, he can dexter- 
 ously render fashionable folly subservient to his 
 pocket, not only is his fortune made, but even 
 character becomes superfluous in the eclat of his 
 brilliant career. 
 
 I have digressed from my subject, but I 
 wished to explain accurately the set to which
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 317 
 
 Captain Wilson l)ek)nged, in whose drawing- 
 room my friend Staniield soon found himself a 
 welcome gnest. Captain Wilson was a man of 
 fashion, bien distingue, kept a good table, and 
 what is of equal consequence, a very pretty 
 wife. Where he found her, or how he won 
 her, were mysteries that concerned nobody but 
 himself. She was younger by several years 
 than he was, but there was no such disparity 
 of age as made their union farcical. Staniield 
 possessed two accomplishments of no very 
 singular merit, that nevertheless tell well with 
 most females : he rode gallantly, and he was 
 devoted to music — in this respect, and perhaps 
 in some others, he resembled Allieri. He had 
 not long frequented Captain Wilson's drawing- 
 room, before he found that play was deep and 
 frequent ; but his tastes were altogether foreign 
 to such amusement, and he rarely joined the 
 card -table. Captain Wilson was not himself 
 often at home, and his absence from the ordi- 
 nary pursuits of the evening passed unnoticed ; 
 except the daily and deep play which appeared 
 to form the habitual resource of the hostess, 
 there was nothing to excite suspicion, and as 
 he was not pressed to join it, he troubled him-
 
 818 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 self ])ut little on the subject; such was the 
 bland hospitality of Mrs. Wilson, that he 
 speedily found himself at home, and such were 
 her attractive manners, that he soon forgot he 
 had a home elsewhere : his mornings were 
 spent in riding with her in the parks, for she 
 almost rivalled him in horsemanship ; his even- 
 ings found him, always at her piano, till the 
 jpost coenam card -table silenced harmony, and 
 by forcing him into the irksome solitude of 
 society, drove him for relief to the less annoy- 
 ing solitude of his chambers. The result was 
 inevitable ; his liaison with Mrs. "Wilson slided 
 gradually, almost imperceptibly into the usual 
 character, and his happiness was as perfect as 
 happiness could be, when founded on guilt, 
 and hourly fearing detection. This dream con- 
 tinued for several months, when he began to 
 feel that Mrs. Wilson's demeanor became more 
 constrained, and her temper, hitherto gentle, 
 and cheerfully uniform, exhibited a fickleness 
 and irritability, that could only spring from 
 jealousy or wearied aifection : there was no de- 
 cided quarrel, for his good humor and fondness 
 allowed no opportunity ; but he felt an increas- 
 ing conviction that on her part, the opportu-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PEACTICE. 319 
 
 nity, whenever it arose, would be' gladly hailed, 
 and this led to suspicion, which a trivial cir- 
 cumstance confirmed into certainty. Under 
 the pretext of avoiding remark, Mrs, "Wilson 
 had prevailed on him to intermit his evening 
 visits, except at considerable intervals : but 
 finding himself one evening, accidentally in 
 her neighborhood, after dining out, and per- 
 ceiving lights in the drawing-room, he forgot 
 her injunctions, and called : the drawing-room, 
 though lighted up as usual, was deserted, but 
 the piano was open, and he approached it to 
 amuse himself till she made her appearance ; to 
 his surprise he saw a flute accompaniment open 
 on the desk, and on further scrutiny, discovered 
 a flute behind it, concealed by some loose music. 
 He made no comment, and the hour passed 
 away as usual, only with somewhat unusual 
 reserve on her part, almost amounting to that 
 dignity of manner that implies between parties 
 80 circumstanced, either offense, or a strong 
 iuclination to give it, if occasion could be found. 
 He took his leave of her with coolness, and 
 she answered the salute with marked indiiFer- 
 ence. On passing through the hall, the ser- 
 vant picked up a glove from the floor, and
 
 320 ADVENTURES OP AN ATTORNEY 
 
 telling him tliat he had dropped it, gave it to 
 him : he found that he had both his gloves in 
 his hat, but concluding that he had inadver- 
 tently drawn it from his pocket, he placed it 
 there, and sauntered home, gloomily meditating 
 on the cause of this apparent estrangement : in 
 answer to a careless inquiry, she had explained 
 with equal carelessness of tone, that the flute 
 belonged to a young relative of her husband, 
 who had arrived from Cambridge that morning 
 and had gone to the theatre ; he was reflecting 
 on the tone of this explanation, when he drew 
 the glove from his pocket to restore it to its 
 fellow, and he. at once perceived, that though a 
 man's glove, it did not belong to him ; it could 
 not be the Captain's, for he had been ordered 
 to Ireland, and in consequence of his absence, 
 Mrs. Wilson had long since suspended her card 
 parties : the jealous distrust which now began 
 to torture his mind, was wound up to the 
 highest pitch the following morning, by re- 
 ceiving through her servant, a letter, not 
 formal or ceremonious certainly, but with in- 
 finitely less than the accustomed endearments 
 of expression, requesting the immediate return 
 of all the music she had lent him, and sending
 
 IN" SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 321 
 
 back several volumes of his that she liad bor- 
 rowed in exchange. Stanfield could not mis- 
 understand the meaning of this, and was now 
 onlv bent on discoverino: his successful rival ; 
 he mio^ht easilv have elicited this from her ser- 
 vant,buthewas too high-minded to stoop to such 
 unworthv means, even under the excitement of 
 wounded affection ; he wrote to her in a tone 
 of passionate remonstrance, but " acquiescing in 
 what he construed to be her wish, an imme- 
 diate and decided separation, if, as he had 
 too much cause to fear, her affections were irre- 
 vocably gone : " he pinned this note into one of 
 her music books, on the title page of one of her 
 favorite songs, and which he well knew would 
 be one of the iirst with which she would enter- 
 tain her new admirer ; the stratagem completely 
 succeeded. The next morning brought him a 
 \"isitor, in an old college acquaintance, whom 
 he had himself introduced at Harley street only a 
 month hefore ; he was surprised, and not entire 
 ly pleased, with a call that he expected was one 
 of curious, and perhaps ironical condolence, for 
 his friend entered with a suppressed smile on 
 his lips, 
 
 "Well, Thornhill, I little anticipated seeing 
 14*
 
 322 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 you ! I suppose you have heard of our quarrel ? 
 these sort of tidings generally travel fast." 
 
 " I am your companion in exile, by my own 
 choice ; did you write this letter ? " producing 
 the hillet of the previous day. 
 
 " Why, if I did, yoa have no right to ask me, 
 I presume ? " 
 
 " IsTot yet, assuredly ; but had I not found it 
 in the song - book last night, I should by this 
 time have had as much right to open it, as you 
 to send it ! " 
 
 " The devil you would ! then the flute was 
 yours ? " 
 
 " Yes ; and the glove too. " 
 
 " And she found that I had got it, and so gave 
 me my conge ? " 
 
 " Exactly so. " 
 
 " And you were not at the play ? " 
 
 " iN'o : jperdu in the aext room. " 
 
 " Now tell me truly, my good fellow ; how far 
 have matters gone ? " 
 
 " I'm on the right side ; your letter arrived 
 in the nick of time to save me." 
 
 " Did you never suspect me ?" 
 
 " N'ever, on my honour ; or she might have 
 laid her trap in vain."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 323 
 
 This prompt and frank edaircissement opened 
 the eyes of botli, but I must tell the melancholy 
 catrastrophe, though I do it with pain. 
 
 I need scarcely say that this discovery of her 
 character converted poor Stanfield's fondness 
 into disgust, and his jealousy into indignant 
 resentment; but he was a generous and warm- 
 hearted man, warm-hearted in spite of his ro- 
 mance. He never revisited Harley street, nor 
 even attempted indirectly to inform himself of 
 the subsequent proceedings of the family : four 
 or five years rolled away, and he had all but 
 forgotten his once intimate connexion with it. 
 The object of my work is not to moralize, and 
 therefore I shall not discuss the morality of his 
 conduct; but in this particular he certainly 
 acted with a degree of prudence not very usual, 
 and perhaps not very practicable wdth those 
 who set morality at defiance when opposed to 
 passion : his affection how^ever had received a 
 rude shock, and this happily combined with the 
 wish to save Mrs. Wilson's character, wdiich 
 he sill believed to be unstained in the opinion 
 of the world, to fortify his resolution never again 
 to enter a circle which had well nigh proved 
 fatal to all his worldly prospects. In this case,
 
 32i ADVraMBES OF AN ATTOKSEV 
 
 as iu tUe last, it .a. iu cou.«luenee Of a con- 
 
 „.: ,..t.u .tf .0 th. vague and e.agg a^d 
 
 ,.p„Ks that bad obtained -■-->; /J^^ 
 ,l^vae.uuy, I scarcely kuowwhj, to b 
 
 a.re.;o.ee.faUu.yeoUegeae,uaintancewte 
 
 tMl-ve.oundthe,n.elve.inv«lved.nd,ft. 1- 
 ' I tWe deviation. frou.tl.e.tvaigl.t pat... 
 
 i.; ;,uug u,eu are sensible of tbc repuguauce 
 :;\: feu, even i..tbo.evvbo are not p.^- 
 ,„.,,.U.aigbt.laeea,totheinU,nateapp,aob^ 
 
 „f Lose who labor under the ohlo^u, oi a 
 
 V* St-mfiekl, with more mgeu- 
 laxed morality, btannuu, 
 
 .1 ,., a-ultv had disclosed to Thoi n- 
 "jrir :r Of his entanglement, when 
 S\ld that the d.co.ery of .e leuer^^^^^^^ 
 partially betrayed te se^et^an^^^ 
 
 from pique perhaps at being . , , • j 
 
 T L secret of the matter ; hence it obtained 
 
 for Stanfield an unfortunate celebrity^ of which 
 
 . fii i,;a nfter of marriage 
 he was unconscious, till bis oiler 5 
 
 received from the lady's father a -pomt-bUmk 
 ::;„n, founded on bis alleged seduction 
 
 M,s Wilson. It was in this dilemma that he 
 
 .   advice I immediately set on foot 
 asked my aOvict.
 
 IN SEARCH OP PRACTICE. 325 
 
 diligent inquiries about the Harlej street coterie 
 but the career of all .ueh parties i. as hrief as 
 ^t IS gaj- and dissipated : of the ^nj..,nis I em.M 
 learn nuthiuu- except that he liad s.Jd ...u and 
 ^vas extinct: some of their .et w.re in tl.e 
 J^mg's Bench -others abroad -a ll.v had 
 vanished entirely out of sight; the " ^vind had 
 passed over them, and thej were gone." I 
 could not assist mj friend, though I "called on 
 the father of his intended wife, and reported 
 the result of mv inquiries, urging upon him 
 that It was severe to repudiate the alhance of a 
 nian, otherwise most estimable, because he had 
 ^vhile yet a youth, been victimized bj a gaming 
 and unprincipled set of fashionable sharpers 
 It was all in vain; the old gentleman retorted 
 that their ruin might be the consequence of 
 their connexion with Stanfield, and he was in- 
 exorable. He further assured me that his 
 daughter herself fully acquiesced in the pro 
 priety of his decision, and I communicated 
 tbis to Stanfield, for the chance of its recon- 
 ciling him to his inevitable disappointment At 
 iirst he was cut to the heart, but he recovered 
 tbe blow so rapidly, that I was surprised at his 
 equanimity-. It was about ten days after this
 
 g,6 ABYEHTUKES OF AN ATTOMElf 
 
 final .-ejection, that he called at my office ob- 
 !lously laboring nnder mucb anxiety of vnmd, 
 1 ieh I at mi attributed to Ms altered pros- 
 pects. He soon relieved my apprehensions on 
 
 "Tenotoncetbongbtofberfortbiswee. 
 
 past." 
 
 a ;^o ' then what ails you ?" 
 
 C.I have found Sophia, or rather ehe has 
 
 found me !" ^^.^^ 
 
 u Confound the woman : I wish sne .n 
 
 ,,angedoutofyourway" .^.^ 
 
 "Say that word agam, bu, ana j 
 
 'tldberosefrombisseatwitbalooW 
 fi,„.y tbat startled me, clenched b.s fist w.tb 
 :r.iolence, that I at first ^^'^^f^^^ 
 going to strike me, and I retrea c . Stanfi id 
 eJaimed, " can this he possible? The que 
 
 tlon was put mildly, hut -P--Wully, and 
 instantly restored him t« b.s senses; he hn s 
 
 l,to tears, entreated my forgiveness and .n^ tb 
 .ame breath told me he wanted only my. nto 
 
 auction to a physician of whom be a b.r 
 
 me speak highly- I gave hrm the 
 
 :Lh be took down in silence, and was gomg.
 
 IN SEARCH OP PKACTICE. 327 
 
 "Stay a moment, Stanfield, I guess jour pur 
 pose; cap I assist jou ?" 
 
 "She is cljing! she will scarcely recollect you 
 but if you desire, come with nie." 
 
 "^^O-^^^^- own sake, I do desire it, but not 
 irom curiosity. I have none, except to hear 
 
 lK>w you happened to meet again so unexpect- 
 
 On our way he explained it all. A few days 
 after I had reported to him the result of my 
 interview with Mr. Fortescue, he had been sum- 
 moned to the door of his chambers by a single 
 knock, when he found it proceeded from a little 
 dirty and half- di-essed girl of fourteen, who put 
 a soiled paper into his hands, folded up like a 
 letter: at first he declined reading it, conclud- 
 ing that It WHS some begging petition, but the 
 laithful messenger was not to be repulsed. 
 
 " The lady was sure you would not refuse her, 
 Sir, if you knew how ill she was." 
 
 This appeal was sufficient for Stanfield 
 though he little imagined who " the lady " could 
 be; the letter contained only a line, but though 
 even that line was without a signature, Stanfield 
 had not forgotten the beautiful writing of one 
 that had once been so dear to him. " Come and
 
 g28 ADTEHTCBES OF AN ATTOBNEY 
 
 eee rne, I wonld not ask you, but I have not 
 ZZ ^onrs to Uve," wa. .U H said and tins 
 :LU>-e tban eno.gh; he instantly accon,- 
 
 named the cMld, „f .tiirs 
 
 ' It was in a back room, np two pa.r of .ta,rs 
 
 ;„ one of those dark and filthy streets adjo,„,ng 
 Lys Inn lane, that are too often st,gmaW 
 
 Lens of infamy, by those who forget that ™e 
 
 e aims as near • V-indred to wealth, as tt does 
 IVverty and distress, thatStanfieldfound the 
 
 Irtche/woman who had once been the tdol of 
 M. affections, and who was, still, more dear 
 Ln than he dared acknowledge even to h,mself^ 
 S,ewaslyingona palliasse, scarcely covered 
 
 w half a blanket, whose defxciences were snp^ 
 pied by a rug which a dog might have scorned 
 
 o touch. The weather was cold, but the rusty 
 .rate, half supplied with the usual complement 
 tf bars, showed no traces of fuel ; a tattered rem- 
 „,,t, of a silk cloak, of those tawdry colors 
 Aat indicate the wearer's class, was suspended 
 
 tefore the broken window as a substitute for a 
 curtain, and two gowns, equally characterisuc 
 
 tung upon a solitary peg; other furmtur. there 
 .as none: on a paper-trunk, resting on tts end 
 
 to supplvtheplr.ee of a table, there stood a cup
 
 IN SEARCH OP PRACTICE. 329 
 
 of tea, cold and milkless, a slice of bread and 
 butter untouched, and a saucer tilted on one side, 
 to hold the ink which the poor sufferer had just 
 borrowed to write the note which Stanfield had 
 received. When the girl reached the door of 
 this wretched apartment, and opening it, beck- 
 oned to Stanfield to follow her, though impa- 
 tient to enter he felt so agitated, that he was 
 compelled to wait a minute on the landing-place 
 to recover himself, and Mrs. Wilson concluded 
 that her application was unsuccessful. She 
 faintly said, just raising her head from the 
 bolster, and drawing an old reticule from under 
 it, (there was no pillow) "He will not come ? 
 well, I don't deserve it, but here is sixpence for 
 you, Mary; I shall not want it, though it is my 
 last;" and she sunk back, exhausted with the 
 efibrt, while the child, with a sort of intuitive 
 delicacy that I have often witnessed in the poor, 
 declined the proffered reward, adding, " I hope 
 you'll want it yet. Ma'am, for I have brought 
 the gentleman." Stanfield could refrain no 
 longer; he rushed into the room, knelt by the 
 bed-side, and with all the tenderness of former 
 love, embraced the dying victim of woe and 
 want, before she was well aware of his approach
 
 330 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 His first care was to provide her with attend- 
 ance and ordinarv comforts, for she was desti- 
 tute even of assistance, except wliat she occa- 
 sionally received gratiiitouslv from the girl, who 
 was the daughter of another lodger in the same 
 house. She was incapable of immediate re- 
 moval, hut she so far rallied under affectionate 
 nursing, that Stanfield entertained sanguint* 
 hopes of her ultimate recovery. On the fifth 
 dav after his first call, he carried hor down to 
 a coach, and had her conveyed to respectable 
 lodgings which he had engaged for her in 
 Guildford street. It was here that I found her 
 when I accompanied him. I had never seen 
 her but once before, when riding with him in 
 the park; she was then in all the spring of 
 Aouth and beautv. I had noticed her with 
 admiration, but with little interest; when how- 
 ever, I saw her now, her face still glowing with 
 the hectic flush of confirmed consumption, but 
 her forehead and neck pale even to ivory white- 
 ness, and her hollow, deep blue eyes, gleaming 
 with preternatural brightness, while they fol- 
 lowed every look and every movement of her 
 lover with fond gratefulness for his tender 
 solicitude, and bespoke a cheerfulness not the
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 331 
 
 less attractive because it was subdued by the 
 inward conviction that her present happiness 
 would be but the sunshine of a few liours, 
 never, to the end of Ufe, can I forget tlie im- 
 pression that the contemplation of her expres- 
 sive countenance then made on mj mind ! and 
 her affection at length was innocent, for she 
 had been long a widow. 
 
 It was more than a fortnight before she was 
 sutficiently strong to tell her tale of misery in 
 a connected strain ; she expressly desired my 
 presence at the time : as for Staniield, he never 
 left her day or night; he slept on a sofa in the 
 adjoining room, and nursed her like an infant. 
 She had already at intervals, as she found 
 strength and spirits for it, put him in posses- 
 sion v»f all the occurrences of her life since their 
 separation, nor had her sincerity in the least 
 diminished his fondness, it rather increased it ; 
 he had in return avowed to her his intended 
 marriage and the reason of its 1)eing given up, 
 and it was this circumstance that induced her, 
 with a truly generous anxiety for his future 
 happiness, to wish for my presence, that I 
 miffht, if necessarv, attest his innocence, at 
 least of her seduction. I cannot pretend at
 
 Ot^-j 
 
 2 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 this interval of time, to give her statement in 
 her own words, for though I noted down the 
 principal facts, I made no other memorandum 
 of it. It was in substance as follows : 
 
 " You will be distressed, Mr. Sharpe, " and 
 she hesitated as if for a word, " I should say 
 disgusted. Sir, (I know not why I should be 
 too nice about the word, ) when I tell you oil, 
 but you must prepare yourself for a sad story. 
 Captain "Wilson married me because he wanted 
 money, and he thought I had more than I really 
 Ijad; this led to all our misery; you look as if 
 you would ask why I married him ? for the 
 same reason, I believe, that most young girls 
 do the same thing ! I wanted to be indepen- 
 dent, and have an establishment of my own, as 
 it is called. Alas ! I little knew how little in- 
 dependence there is in married life, where there 
 is no affection : in twelve months he had spent 
 the whole of my two thousand pounds ; he had 
 nothing of his own, besides his pay : but we 
 had a well -furnished house, a large acquaint- 
 ance, and we found a resource in play : they 
 may well call such places hells, Mr. Sharpe ! 
 our housQ was trul}- one, though we kept up 
 appearances so well, that it was little suspected.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 333 
 
 My buibaud did not often sbow bimself at our 
 evening parties; be left tbem to me, tbat I 
 migbt seduce tbe young men wbo frequented 
 tbem, into intimacy, before tbey were alarmed 
 into distrust of bim: you will excuse my not 
 dwelling on tbese scenes, I bave not strengtb 
 for it now ; it is enougb to say tbat I was too 
 often successful, and my wicked busband con- 
 nived at it." 
 
 Sbe was bere obliged to stop, and I entreated 
 ber to drop tbe matter, as sbe bad explained 
 enougb for me to guess tbe rest; but sbe mo- 
 tioned Stanfield to take me into tbe next room, 
 and be tben told me tbat ber beart was so en- 
 tirely set upon tbe disclosure, tbat it would give 
 ber more relief to make it, at wbatever trial of 
 strengtb and spirits ; tbe motive sbe assigned 
 for doing it, was one to wbicb we botb felt 
 bound to defer. Finding berself more capable 
 of exei'tion tban she bad yet been since sbe bad 
 been removed, sbe bad resolved on receiving 
 tbe sacrament, and all tbe past week bad been 
 spent in anxious preparation for it. Stanfield 
 bad been ber spiritual instructor. He bad 
 urged ber to send for some of ber family, but 
 she bad peremptorily refused ; not from sbame
 
 834 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 or animosity, tbougli she had applied to them 
 ill the extremity of her sufferings, and received 
 no reply ; but she observed that if her brother 
 or sisters came, (her parents were dead,) they 
 would, from ill-timed regard to appearances, 
 exclude Stanfield from her room, and this 
 would be a blow she could not in her then state 
 of debility, expect to survive ; she wished, 
 however, for their sake as well as his, to afford 
 every explanation she could of her past life, as 
 the only reparation she felt it in her power to 
 off"er. We returned to her bedside, and she 
 immediately resumed the subject. 
 
 " Capt. Wilson has gone before me, Mr. 
 tSharpe, and I ought not to speak of him 
 harshly, but I have found it difficult to avoid 
 it : I forgive him as I hope," — she paused, and 
 turned to Stanfield, " nay, George, / am sure 
 my Saviour has forgiven me ! " She again ad- 
 dressed herself to me, with a gentle smile on 
 lier face : "it was not easy to ride out with him 
 every da}^, and sing with him every evening, 
 and carry on our schemes against his pocket I 
 Capt. Wilson was incensed at this child's play, 
 as he called it, and insisted on me giving it up, 
 if I could not tr.rn my influence to better ac-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 335 
 
 count. It was tbis that led to inv intris'ues 
 witli Mr. Thornliill. You would not quarrel 
 with me, George, and I was obliged to quarrel 
 with you, though it went to raj^ heart to do so. 
 The return of the music -books broke off all 
 acquaintance with Mr. Thornhill, and this 
 second failure caused a total rupture with my 
 husband, whose necessities at that moment 
 were most urgent. We quarrelled, and he 
 turned me out of doors : it mattered little for 
 that, for the next day our furniture was seized, 
 and I must have gone then at all events. For 
 a few^ weeks I took refuge with an old domestic, 
 but I could not remain wdth her lonn", and 
 what was I to do ? I knew your generosity, 
 my beloved friend, but pride forbade my 
 appealing to it under such a change of for- 
 tunes, especially after I had used you ill. I 
 had no choice : I did as others do ; and yet, 
 George, you may be satisfied that my attach- 
 ment remained unchanged when you see that 
 I have preserved this little gift in all my cruel 
 fortunes, though it has been in the hands of 
 half the pawnbrokers in London ! " She pro- 
 duced a plain gold buckle, which Stanfield had 
 had made for the skirt of her riding habit. " I
 
 336 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 tremble to think," slie added, " of what I have 
 often submitted to, that I might redeem this 
 valued relic ! " 
 
 She could continue no further, for this recur- 
 rence to her degraded position was too exquis- 
 itely painful, and she fell back utterly exliausteO . 
 As soon as Stanfield had restored her to a state 
 of temporary ease, by aid of the usual cordials, 
 I took my leave. I saw her once more, at her 
 own earnest entreaty, to receive a last farewell, 
 but that week had not expired when she died 
 in Stanfield's arms, not in sadness, but in the 
 calm expectation of a sincere penitent who had 
 laid her sins and her sorrows at the foot of the 
 cross. 
 
 I attended her remains to the grave, in com- 
 pany with my poor friend, and in that grave he 
 has since been laid himself. In discharge of 
 the duty which Mrs. Wilson entrusted to me, 
 I communicated the outline of her story to Mr. 
 Fortescue; he discredited every word of it, and 
 adhered to his first resolve. Stanfield however, 
 though unknown to me, had forever abandoned 
 all thought of marriage with his daughter, or 
 indeed with any one else : not that he brooded 
 over Mrs. Wilson's loss, after the first shock
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 337 
 
 was over ; for a time lie was depressed to the 
 last degree, but this wore away with time, and 
 he recovered his usual spirits. His health how- 
 ever was seriously affected : I have heard medi- 
 cal men observe, that though consumptive 
 complaints are not infectious, there is a danger 
 of infection if a party predisposed to receive it 
 is brought into frequent contact with a patient 
 in the last stage of a decline. It may have been 
 owing to this cause, that within a year of Mrs. 
 "Wilson's death, he exhibited the usual pulmon- 
 ary symptoms in an aggravated form. It is 
 one of those curious weaknesses of the human 
 mind which we cannot trace satisfactorily to 
 their source, that though Stanfield was un- 
 doubtedly a man of sense, as well as a man of 
 talent, and, as I have observed, bore his loss 
 with firmness, and forced his spirits to rally at 
 his bidding, he appeared to contemjilate the 
 progress of his malady with a feeling near akin 
 to satisfaction. In deference to the wishes of 
 his friends he made the usual sanatory tour to 
 Devonshire and the south of France, and re- 
 turned with the usual result, — increased de- 
 bility and exhausted spirits. He sent for me 
 
 to see him; he had not yet laid aside his 
 15
 
 338 ADVENTURES OE AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 mourning, and " I tbiuk I never shall," was 
 his reply to a hint that I gave him of his in- 
 dulging in it too long. 
 
 " That is the very topic on which I wanted 
 to see you, Sharpe. You have not forgotten 
 where poor Sophia died ? " 
 
 " Certainly not ; what then ? " 
 
 " You must engage that room for me, and 
 the adjoining one for yourself; I wish to die 
 there too ? " 
 
 Touched as I was with this romantic trait 
 of feeling, I resisted, and remonstrated against 
 an indulgence of it, that his friends would call 
 silly, and all would think imprudent ; but it 
 was in vain. 
 
 " I know they would call it silly, and there- 
 fore I do not ask them ; and as for the im- 
 prudence, it will raise my spirits rather than 
 depress them ; but my strength is already gone 
 beyond the power of the mind to affect : will 
 vou refuse me ? " 
 
 I could not; the apartments were again 
 engaged, and strange to say, from the hour 
 that he took possession of them, his vivacity 
 seemed restored ! He did not however last 
 much longer, I soon followed him to her tomb;
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 339 
 
 and by the last injunction of his dying lips, I 
 followed him — alone ! 
 
 Should my readers be inclined to blame me 
 for this long digression, I must admit that 
 there is in it little of practical utility, in refer- 
 ence to my avowed object; all I can say for 
 myself is, that to my own mind the tale is in- 
 structive, on the folly of rejecting imputed 
 criminality as incredible, because it is laid to 
 the charge of parties apparently beyond sus- 
 picion : if I have trespassed too long in refer- 
 ence to this position, I beg pardon, but I 
 could not bring myself to cut short the tragedy 
 in the middle.
 
 340 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 CHAPTER XXTI. 
 
 " Hoc vero occultum, Intestinum ac domesticum malum, non modo 
 non exsistit, verum etiam opprimit, antequam prospicere, atqiie ex- 
 plorare potueris." — In Verb. 
 
 "Certet mea diligentia cum illorum omnium cupiditate." 
 
 Ibid. 
 
 The embarrasBino; situation in wMcli an at- 
 toruey finds himself placed, as tlie recipient of 
 extreme confidence on domestic quarrels and 
 suspicions, not unfrequently from several mem- 
 bers of the same family, requires from him at 
 times, a degree of tact in informing himself of 
 the exact measure of credit which he ouo-ht to 
 give, not only of a dift'erent class but of far 
 more difficult attainment than the usual pro- 
 fessional address requisite for sifting a witness ; 
 and for this obvious reason ; that he can have 
 no recourse to third parties, to decide between 
 Ijrother and brother, husband and wife, parent 
 and child, on which side the weight of evidence 
 lies: we are often invited by persons standing
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 341 
 
 in these near relations, to settle their eoiiilicting 
 claims upon each other, and not seldom to 
 adjust their quarrels, and restore domestic har- 
 mony. This is the most irksome of all pro- 
 fessional duties, and in some respects the most 
 difficult to discharge. If no private acquain- 
 tance subsists between the attorney and his 
 client's family, the course is clear enough ; 
 advise him for the best, as regards his personal 
 interest, and decline all part in private quarrels 
 or discussions, ultra the strict limits of pro- 
 fessional duty, leaving such matters to them- 
 selves, or handing over the disputants to the 
 kind interposition of mutual friends; but it 
 often happens that the family solicitor is invited 
 by all to become the family referee, and to 
 mediate between relatives so circumstanced, that 
 mediation, unaided by legal knowledge, must 
 prove of no avail : in such cases it is unfriendly, 
 cowardly, and selfish, to decline the office, 
 merely to avoid the hazard of being drawn into 
 dissension ; but it is most difficult to discharge 
 it, for the reason I have assigned ; that there is 
 no disinterested witness from whom facts can 
 be correctly gleaned, and by whose evidence 
 the merits of the quarrel can be ascertained :
 
 342 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 the balance of probability, aided by our 
 personal knowledge of individual cLaracter, is 
 then our only guide. 
 
 A very singular affiiir of this kind once 
 occurred to me, in which the peace of a whole 
 family was at stake, and in which I must 
 acknowledge with all humility that I was 
 completely in error, and occasioned I fear, for 
 a time, more mischief than I was called in to 
 heal. 
 
 A gentleman who had long been my client, 
 gave me instructions for his will ; his property 
 was not very large, and as he had only two 
 sons between whom he wished it to be fairlv 
 divided, the limitations did not threaten to be 
 vei'y complicated: one of these sons was in 
 India, the other, Frederic, at home, and both 
 of them married men. He had resolved to 
 bequeath the whole equally between his sons, 
 if at his death they had each the same number 
 of children in being or in immediate expecta- 
 tion ; if otherwise, it was to be divided into as 
 many portions as there were members of the 
 two families, and each member, including the 
 parents, was to take j>cr capita, as we term it, 
 the fathers enjoying the interest of their chil-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 34o 
 
 dren's shares for life. This was the outline of 
 his scheme, and he announced it to his son in 
 England ; the son immediately called on me 
 and in the strongest terms deprecated such an 
 arrangement, though apparently nothing could 
 be m-ore equitable : I of course referred him to 
 his father, and was obliged to turn a deaf ear 
 to all his expostulations : a few days after the 
 son's wife also called on me, protesting in 
 language as decided as her husband's against the 
 plan, but speaking of her husband in terms of 
 such sarcasm and mysterious reproach, that I was 
 convinced, whatever might be his objections to 
 the proposed disposition of the property, they 
 were very different in character from his wife's. 
 I gave her the same answer : a week passed 
 over, and a brother of the wife in India also 
 favored me with a visit, and dropped many 
 hints of the general dissatisfaction that all the 
 family would feel, not excepting his brother- 
 in-law, if Frederic were allowed the unre- 
 stricted enjoyment of the interest of his chil- 
 dren's expectant fortunes. On perceiving the 
 universal repugnance to the proposed distribu- 
 tion, I thought it right to suggest to my client 
 the propriety of reconsidering his instructions ;
 
 344 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 he was a man of very manageable and reason- 
 able temper, and determined on having an 
 immediate explanation with his children ; but 
 the result was far from satisfactory; no plan 
 that he could devise would meet all their 
 wishes, though it led to certain discoveries that 
 menaced eternal discord, and even a separation 
 of Frederic and his wife : the latter charged 
 him with infidelity, and the brother of the wife 
 in India corroborated the charge. Frederic 
 denied it with indignation, but in vain ; it 
 seemed that his wife had for a long time past 
 indulged herself in dogging his steps, intercept- 
 ing his letters, bribing liis servants, and such 
 like honorable reconnoissances too frequent with 
 jealous ladies; and the fact was too truly 
 ascertained that poor Frederic was in the habit 
 of visiting a fair creature that lived in a village 
 near town. The father was much incensed, the 
 son not less so, and the wife the worst of all ; 
 for Frederic, while he vowed his innocence, 
 also vowed that no power on earth should 
 make him drop acquaintance with the girl, or 
 continue it with his jealous vixen of a wife. 
 This was the state of affairs when I was invited 
 b}- common consent to arbitrate between the
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 345 
 
 parties. I exerted rnvself to probe the case to 
 the bottom, but T could make uothhig of it 
 consistent with Frederic's innocence, and more 
 especially when even to my friendly and quiet 
 remonstrances, he contented himself with o-iv- 
 ing an emphatic negative to all hope of his 
 detaching himself from this unfortunate con- 
 nexion. I set it down to infatuation, ac- 
 quiesced in the necessity of his allowing his 
 wife a separate maintenance, and concurred 
 with the father and all the rest of the family in 
 the expediency of altering the testamentary 
 arrangements. Frederic, to avoid the painful 
 eelat of an exposure, went to spend eight months 
 in Italy. At the end of that time he returned, 
 and the whole mystery was now cleared up : 
 the generous fellow would rather have died than 
 disclosed it without his brother's sanction, nor 
 was it ever disclosed beyond the family, till his 
 sister-in-law in India died. The supposed 
 chere amie^ the cause of all the clatter, was a 
 former wife of the brother in India, a s^irl of 
 low character, whom he had married in a fit 
 of folly. Frederic was the only one intrusted 
 with the secret, and he sacrificed himself to 
 
 save his brother from an indictment for bigamy, 
 15*
 
 346 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 and perhaps "a bullet through the thorax" 
 :is preparatory thereto. It was scarcely les? 
 generous of him to withhold the explanation 
 tVoni me; for had he given it, ni}' own em- 
 barrassment as to the course to be pursued, 
 would have been not inferior to his: to have 
 divulged it to his wife would have been the 
 same thing as advertising it in the Times ; to 
 have explained it to the father would have, 
 necessaril}^, caused the disinheritance of the 
 brother, and without divulging it to one or the 
 other, I could have hoped for no credit to my 
 attestation of his innocence. I was thankful 
 for the escape.
 
 m SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 347 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 "A rotten case abides no handling." — Hen. IV. 
 
 "Orleans. He never did harm that I heard of. 
 Constable. Nor will do none to-morrow." — Hen. V. 
 
 I HAVE scribbled awav in rather a desultory 
 vein for some time past; but it is difficult to 
 say whether it fatigues one more to write or to 
 read a work dulv arrano:ed under heads and 
 subdivisions, in the orthodox style of pulpit 
 eloquence. It wearies one uncommonly, to be 
 on an eternal hunt for the " thread of the dis- 
 course," however necessary it may be to help 
 one through a labyrinth of doctrinal and prac- 
 tical intricacy. It is all very well in a brief: 
 there the duty is to instruct, amusement being 
 wholly out of the question; if the nature of the 
 cause admits of it, and wit is readv, an attornev 
 may venture to carry the utile dulci principle 
 even into his brief, but he must do it verv skill- 
 fullv; most counsel only read everv alternate
 
 348 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 page, some not quite so ir.uch; he may tlierefore 
 venture so far as to carry on the argument 
 throngli tlie first, third, fifth, and ahernate 
 pages, and the jest through the intermediate 
 ones; only taking the precaution so to adjust the 
 tastes of his leader and junior, as to make sure 
 of the one reading the facts, if the other is con- 
 tent vvith the jokes — hoth tell equally in taxa- 
 tion of costs, and that is, of course, our first 
 care. I have taken this rule for my guide, in 
 drawing my brief for the public : the price of a 
 book depends on its length, not on its merit ; 
 hence, in the afifair of taxation, I shall be at all 
 events a gainer; the public rarely read more 
 than half a book, if they look at it at all : of 
 those who do read, the leaders read for instruc- 
 tion, the juniors for amusement; but there are 
 twenty juniors for one leader : hence, every 
 author who wants a liberal allowance of costs 
 from his publisher, (and they are sad screws, 
 even the best of them,) should give twenty 
 pages of nonsense for one of argument. Can 
 there be a better apology for a desultory vein ? 
 But I will prove, nevertheless, that I am not 
 wholly lost to the duty of method in composi- 
 tion, by reminding my reader that I have told
 
 IN SEARCH OP PRACTICE. 349 
 
 him how to keep upon terms with clients, 
 counsel, attorneys, and witnesses ; and here we 
 might suppose that we had laid down all the 
 shoals in the professional chart; I should be 
 an unskillful pilot, how^ever, if I withheld a 
 word of advice on conducting a vessel safely, 
 when she proves not altogether seaworthy ; or 
 to drop my metaphor, a hint on the manage- 
 ment of awkward cases, may not he out of place. 
 A single instance will explain what I mean by 
 an " awkward case." I have given a few of 
 them already, but only by way of illustrating 
 some collateral point. 
 
 Personal squabbles where both parties are in 
 the wrong, that is, ninety-nine out of a hun- 
 dred, are very " awkward cases ; " and more 
 especially where the symptoms indicate a breach 
 of the peace ; but this is rare ; peace in a legal 
 sense, is very seldom broken when an attorney 
 gets an inkling of the matter, though it is not 
 always easy to keep up appearances as well as 
 if it were. An affair of this kind occurred to 
 me some years ago. The senior performers in 
 the scene were two highly respectable tradesmen, 
 in wealthy circumstances, and with w^hose 
 families I was oii terms of equal intimacy. 1
 
 350 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 have often noticed that young gentlemen in 
 this class of life, are more eager aspirants after 
 gory fame, and more touchy on questions of 
 honor, than those of purer patrician blood. 
 
 I had reached the enviable certainty of profes- 
 sional income that warrants a beginner (in 
 modern days) in riding daily to his office from 
 cheerful lodgings at Hampstead. It is an idle 
 habit, I confess; and one of the evils of it is that 
 twenty minutes are daily lounged over a news- 
 paper, before one has courage to open the gener- 
 al post letters. This was my occupation when 
 in rolled Mr. Watty, in agitation that seemed 
 to portend a ne exeat regno for a debtor to a large 
 amount. He was a man of that convivial cut, 
 that somehow or other one seldom sees out of 
 the city ; of the ordinary height, but of far more 
 than ordinary rotundity. He, like another of 
 my heroes, carried before him a semisphere that 
 argued capacity of the highest order; and it 
 would have been as hard for him as for Falstaff 
 to have seen his own knees, but for a happy 
 provision of l^ature, who from his birth must 
 have foreseen the necessity of guarding against 
 this inconvenience : his lower extremities des- 
 cribed a conic section, of which the minor axis
 
 IN SEARCH Oi? PRACTICE. 351 
 
 was to the major in the proportion of live to 
 six; rotundity was the character of his whole 
 person ; his head was round ; his face was 
 round; his — in short, a perfect circularity of 
 outline marked the man. 
 
 " Dreadful aftair, Mr. Sharpe ! sad business 
 this ! " and he wiped away the perspiration 
 from his forehead, while he paused to recover 
 breath. " "ViThat's to be done. Sir ? eh ? " 
 
 " I have heard nothing about it, Mr. Watty." 
 
 "Don't know how you should — only heard 
 it myself an hour ago." 
 
 " What's the matter ? " 
 
 "Tom Watty — Tom Wildblood — Tom 
 Devil wants to be shot : that's all ! — always 
 thought he'd be hanged soon enough." 
 
 " Enlisted, I suppose ? " 
 
 "'Listed! — wish he were, or any thing else 
 in an honest way. He's as sure to be hanged 
 as my name's Watty : that is, if he be not shot." 
 
 " Who is going to shoot him ? has he got 
 into a quarrel ? " 
 
 "That's where it is — you've just hit it — 
 head over ears in a quarrel, and no help for it ! " 
 
 " Well, let him get out of it for himself: he 
 will know better another time."
 
 352 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " Meauwliile he's shot ! a dead man, Mr. 
 Sharpe ! What's to be done ? " 
 
 " There's a challenge then ? " 
 
 " Didn't I tell jou so an hour ago ? " 
 
 " 'No : where is he ? " 
 
 "Snug at home — locked him up while I 
 came to you." 
 
 " Go back to him then ; take him in a coach 
 to Bow street ; lock him up there ; and he'll be 
 obliged to you all his life." 
 
 " JSTo use without you — the dog's turned 
 sulky — swears he'll fight — no holding him." 
 
 " Trust me for that; off witli him to Bow 
 street ; I'll meet you there in half an hour, and 
 you'll see that he is as quiet as a lamb." 
 
 Mr. "Watty waddled away a little assured, 
 and as soon as I had read my letters, I proposed 
 following him ; but I was scarcely ready, when 
 I was intercepted by his friend and neighbor, 
 Mr. Gillett, a very prosperous tailor, who had 
 gradually mounted from the shop-board to the 
 elevation of an army contractor. Gillett was 
 the very antipodes of my friend Watty, as neat 
 and dapper in figure as he was in dress, and 
 very meek and quiet withal. He was accom- 
 panied ])y a stripling of nineteen or twenty,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 353 
 
 whose small foppery and exuberant self- com- 
 placency were precisely of that class that raise 
 the foot involuntary into the position of an 
 incipient kick ; and the monkey affected mus- 
 tachios too ! 
 
 " I beg your pardon, Mr. Sharpe," began 
 the father, "• I see that I am interrupting your 
 letters; but you will excuse me, Sir, when you 
 hear my unhappy story. This young gentle- 
 man — I am sorry to mention it, I am indeed, 
 Sir, — this young gentleman makes me ashamed 
 of myself! he really does, Sir! he makes me 
 ashamed of myself, and of him too, Sir ! " 
 
 " 'N'o need of that, father ! I've done nothing 
 for a gentleman to be ashamed of: a gentleman 
 must act like a gentleman, father ! " 
 
 " I don't deny it, Harry : I don't deny it, by 
 no means. I know what is due to a gentle- 
 man, or I never could have made you one, 
 Harry ; but it is not genteel, not at all genteel 
 to my thinking, to be talking of pulling of a 
 gentleman's nose. I'll be judged by Mr. 
 Sharpe if it is." 
 
 " Certainly not ; but what's all this about ? " 
 
 " My honor, Sir," cackled out the lad in a 
 mincing tone, and drawing his fore -finger
 
 354 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 down each moustache the way of the gram, 
 " my honor has been insulted, Sir (Jieni) — and 
 father here won't let rae have that (Jiem) — that 
 ample satisfaction, Sir, that a gentleman, in 
 my humble opinion, is entitled to, Sir," 
 
 " Pray who has insulted j^our honor ? I don't 
 understand you." 
 
 "ISTor I neither, Mr. Sharpe : I don't know 
 what the boy means at all, not I. I have 
 lived to be fifty, and my honor was never in- 
 sulted yet, as I know of." 
 
 " ISTo boy either, fiither, if you please: you 
 forget that I've left school these two years, and 
 kept three terms." 
 
 " Were I your father. Sir, I would send you 
 back again, and have your honor insulted to 
 some purpose. You have been sending a chal- 
 lenge, I conclude, to some juvenile puppj like 
 yourself? " 
 
 " Thank ye, Mr. Sharpe, thank ye for that : 
 that't just what I've been a saying to him all 
 along, or what I wished to say, for I didn't 
 exactly know how." 
 
 "Ra-ally, Mr. Sharpe, — ra-ally. Sir, on my 
 honor 1 can't say, Sir — I ra-ally scarcely 
 know, Sir, how I am to understand this. Do
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 355 
 
 you mean, — that is, am I to suppose, Sir — do 
 you mean to insult me, Sir? " 
 
 And thereupon Mr. Harry Gillett hegan to 
 stare, and frown, and look uncommoidy fierce. 
 I regarded him sternly for about a minute, 
 without replying to tliis piece of swagger, or 
 seeming to notice it; and still keeping my eye 
 upon him, I addressed myself to his father. 
 
 " How did the lad get into this mess ? " 
 
 " All about a lady. Sir — a handkerchief, I be- 
 lieve — both picked it up, and knocked their heads 
 together; but I can't get to the rights of it." 
 
 " And thereupon Master Harry sent a chal- 
 lenge ? " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " And who is the other blockhead ? " 
 
 " Mr. William Watty." 
 
 " The grocer's son ? " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " Well, young gentleman, do you propose to 
 carry this farce any further ? " 
 
 "Ra-ally, Sir, (still stroking the dear mus- 
 taches,) my honor compels me, Sir; sorry to 
 disoblige the governor, Sir; but my honor 
 leaves me no alternative. Sir. I ra-ally mean 
 fighting : T do indeed, Sir."
 
 356 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " Very well : then we'll all fight it out to- 
 gether." 
 
 And accordino-ly I sent for a coach ; and we 
 all got into it — Master Harry not evincing the 
 least reluctance. We arrived at Bow street; 
 stated the case quietly to the magisti'ate; and 
 he, with great judgment, bound over the lad in 
 his own recognizance, for ten pounds, and at 
 my earnest request, required two sureties in 
 twenty pounds more. Watty's son, who had 
 preceded us only a quarter of an hour, was 
 subjected to the same terms ; and I prevailed 
 on both parents to refuse their aid, so the boys 
 were comfortabh' locked up together for want 
 of sureties, to fight it out in a closet ten feet 
 square. To make sure of the babies having 
 enough of it, uninterrupted by paternal tender- 
 ness, I carried Messrs. Watty and Gillett home 
 to dine with me, kept them late over a bottle of 
 wine, and returned to the police -ofiice about 
 nine in the evening, to give bail for the young 
 gentlemen, "if Ave found them agreeable," as 
 the tailor called it ; and agreeable enough they 
 were. They were still in custody; but being 
 half- starved in consequence of being locked up 
 piiu-e el(!V('n o'clock, and having but ten shillings
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 857 
 
 "between them, thej had clubbed their purses 
 together, sent out for a steak and a bottle of 
 wine, and were as sociable and merry as twin 
 brothers over a birthday cake ! 
 
 Another awkward case of similar, but more 
 serious character, occurred to me about the 
 same time ; in this instance, however, I was in- 
 vited to be " the friend," as it is called, not the 
 attorney. A distant connexion of my own, a 
 young barrister who has since obtained very 
 extensive and well- merited success, called on 
 me with a letter that he had just received from 
 a military man, a captain on half- pay, but 
 once belonging to a distinguished hussar regi- 
 ment, and a frequent guest, as I have been in- 
 formed, at Carlton House. This letter purport- 
 ed to be a chastising lecture for certain indiscre- 
 tions of which my young friend (he was not 
 then two -and -twenty) had been guilty to a 
 widow lady — pardoned, though not pardonable 
 indiscretions. The gallant captain was no re- 
 lation to the fair widow; but he had certain 
 designs upon her, not of the most creditable 
 kind, which I will presently explain. He adopt- 
 ed this chivalrous course to obtain her confi- 
 dence in furtherance of those designs. I read
 
 358 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 the letter; and plain enougli it certainly was, 
 though Avritten more in the tone of bitter ex- 
 postulation than studied insult. 
 
 " What do you think of it, Sharpe? " 
 
 " ' Tis intelligible enough, certainly ; but 
 you know you have behaved very ill." 
 
 " No doubt of that ; but it is no affair of his ; 
 nor, I am sure, would you wish me to keep up 
 ^uch a connexion." 
 
 " Certainly not ; but you might have broken 
 it off more gently." 
 
 " Perhaps I might, but it is no affair of his : 
 will you call on the man for me ? " 
 
 " Call on him ! do you mean call him out ? " 
 
 " To be sure I do. I can't put up with this, 
 of course ! " 
 
 " And you want me to be your second ? " 
 
 " I do." 
 
 Here was another ridiculous affair; except 
 that the young gentleman's birth and profes- 
 sion, and the aggravated character of the insult, 
 furnished him with a quasi apology — his op- 
 ponent being also a man of family as well as an 
 officer. I felt that this was no case for masris- 
 terial interference, and I was persuaded that if 
 I declined the office, he would get into worse
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 359 
 
 hands before the day was over ; so after a little 
 reflection, I consented to take his message. 
 We prepared a reply in the usual form, and 
 away I posted to the captain's lodgings. I 
 sent up my card, and found him lounging over 
 his breakfast, though it was long past noon. 
 He received me with extreme courtesy. 
 
 " I have called on you, Sir, in consequence 
 of a letter that you have addressed to Mr. 
 Stephenson." 
 
 " I expected to hear from Mr. Stephenson, 
 Sir," stiffly inclining his head. 
 
 "Your expectation, whatever it may have 
 been, will not be disappointed, Sir," I replied 
 with equal hauteur. " I have a letter from him 
 in my pocket." He extended his hand to re- 
 ceive it : but I did not even ofler it. 
 
 " Excuse me, Captain Ran son : before I de- 
 liver this letter, for there is a responsibility in 
 delivering as well as in sending it, I must 
 entreat you to indulge me with a word of ex- 
 planation on my own account. I have read 
 your letter to Mr. Stephenson, and I must 
 frankly avow that I do not understand it," 
 
 " I thought I had ^\-ritten with sufficient 
 plainness, Sir: I intended to do so."
 
 860 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 " It is very plain, undoubtedly, except in one 
 important point, and it is by your explanation 
 on that point tbat I must be guided in my own 
 further interference. 
 
 " To what do you allude ? " 
 
 " Why did you write it at all ? " 
 
 " After Mr. Stephenson's behavior to Mrs. 
 Roberts, I conceive that any gentleman of her 
 acquaintance is entitled to remonstrate with 
 him." 
 
 " Then you designed it as a remonstrance, 
 Capt. Hanson? am I to put that construction 
 upon it ? " 
 
 " You ma;y put what construction you please 
 on it, Sir." 
 
 " T avail myself of that permission. In refer- 
 ence to your seniority (he was more than forty), 
 you were entitled, as a friend of both parties, to 
 speak in the language of paternal remonstrance 
 to one who is young enough to be your son. 
 I shall, therefore, tell him that I have your 
 authority for viewing the letter in that light; 
 and under that impression, I shall, with your 
 leave, throw his answer in the fire ? " 
 
 " Exactly as you think proper. Sir." 
 
 " Very w'A\ : then I burn it."
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE, 361 
 
 And I threw the challenge into the fire. The 
 man rose from his seat, spontaneously took me 
 by the hand, and cordially shaking it, said, 
 
 " Sir, you may go further, and tell Stephen- 
 son that I am heartily sorry that T wrote it, and 
 will gladly shake hands with him too; but 
 that you may see I was prepared for you, had 
 you not so ingeniously settled the matter, my 
 friend Captain Thornton is in the next room, 
 and will show you the letter that brought him 
 here." 
 
 And true enough, he introduced me to Cap- 
 tain Thornton, who came in with a note still 
 open in his hand, that had been written an 
 hour before I called, to request his assistance at 
 the expected meeting ! I am sorry that I must 
 dispel the favorable impression likely to be pro- 
 duced on the mind of the reader by this gener- 
 ous trait, by giving the remainder of the 
 "awkward case." About a month after this 
 eclair dssement, Mrs. Roberts, the lady in ques- 
 tion, called on me to ask my advice, the gallant 
 captain having availed himself of the hold he 
 had acquired upon her confidence by thus es- 
 pousing her wrongs, to rob her of .£1800 stock, 
 
 liaving obtained her signature to a power of 
 IG
 
 862 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 attorney to transfer it, under pretense that it 
 was only a power to receive her dividends for 
 her ! I was compelled to tell her that she had 
 no remedy, and she went away in despair. The 
 next day she again came to tell me he had also 
 stolen a gold watch from her dressing-case. 
 The evidence was conclusive; and though it 
 was business of that class that I could not 
 undertake myself, I gave her a letter of intro- 
 duction to a very celebrated attorney ,who soon 
 availed himself of the gold watch to recover 
 the stock. He obtained a warrant for the cap- 
 tain, and then wrote to a noble lord, his cousin, 
 and explaining the circumstances, informed 
 him that he would be brought up for examina- 
 tion the following day. His lordship replied 
 that he would be too happy to see the fellow 
 transported ; but the attorney was not " to be 
 done " this way. The cnptain was remanded ; 
 and he then wrote to the noble cousin, " I do 
 not intend to transport him, my lord : I shall 
 liang him." This very laconic rejoinder pro- 
 duced the money before the re- examination, 
 when of course, a link in the chain of evidence 
 was wanting, and all parties were satisfied. 
 I cannot do things of this sort myself, but I
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 863 
 
 do not blame others who are less scrupulous ; 
 and therefore, this hint on the management of 
 " awkward cases " is not superfluous. The 
 offense was at that time capital ; and the cap- 
 tain would undoubtedly have been hanged, if 
 only because he was a captain, with a noble 
 lord then high in office, for his cousin. 
 
 I have already observed, that attorneys are 
 very rarely consulted on any case of duelling, 
 till the danger has passed away, if it ever 
 existed : but our assistance is sometimes wanted 
 in that stage of the squabble, which is, of all 
 others, the most difficult to manage ; and hence 
 I class these disputes among the " awkward 
 cases." We are usually consulted precisely at 
 the moment when the hostile intention has got 
 wind, but while there is yet time to frustrate it, 
 without public exposure; if we immediately 
 take alarm with our client, and hurrv off to a 
 magistrate for a warrant, we run the hazard of 
 disgracing both parties, by exciting a suspicion 
 that the interruption is intended; and conse- 
 quently we provoke the principals, if really 
 spirited men, to cross the channel that they may 
 light it out in peace : yet, on the other hand, it 
 must be acknowledo^ed that it is a o^reat stretch
 
 364 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 of professional discretion, to remain seated be- 
 fore the fire, \\itli our liands in our breeches 
 pockets, like Sir Francis Head at the revolt in 
 Canada, when a brother, or father, or female 
 relative, is imploring our assistance to prevent 
 a man being shot in. -present!, or hanged mfuttiro. 
 This case is not so unfrequent as may be sup- 
 posed, and its frequency has led me to certain 
 deductions not very creditable to the chivalry 
 of the age. I certainly have more than once 
 been asked to interfere in cases where I was well 
 assured that no design existed of willful indis- 
 cretion : one of these cases was so singular, 
 though the hostile purpose in this instance was 
 certainly entertained, that I cannot help notic- 
 ing it ; more especially as I believe that the party 
 implicated was exposed to some unmerited re- 
 proach among his domestic circle. The usual 
 message had been sent — the usual reference 
 given, to a friend ; and the seconds were engaged 
 in an attempt at explanation, previously to ad- 
 justing the preliminaries of war. The princi- 
 pal on whose behalf an appeal was made to me, 
 was a married man, but his wife and family 
 were at a watering-place, fifty miles from Lon- 
 don ; he therefore thought himself quite safe in
 
 TX SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 365 
 
 sta^-ing at his town residence as usual, while he 
 waited for the orders of his second ; it so hap- 
 pened that he had remitted to his wife, two days 
 before the message was delivered, a hank note 
 for a considerable amount : he had sent this by 
 a friend, and had written by the post, to tell 
 her he had sent it. The post letter arrived at 
 its destination, but his friend had been obliged 
 to defer his journey, and the bank note conse- 
 quently never arrived : he had not stated in his 
 letter anything more than that he had sent the 
 note, neither mentioning the name of the party 
 by whom he sent it, nor the conveyance by 
 which he was going. "Wlien a second day had 
 passed without the arrival of the note, the lady 
 was so alarmed lest it should have miscarried, 
 that she immediately put herself into a coach, 
 and came to London, naturally proceeding in 
 the first instance, to her own house : her hus- 
 band was not at home, and, on going up to her 
 room, she found his morning dress Ipng upon 
 a chair ; on inquiry for him of her servants, 
 they could give her no reply, except that he had 
 been at home all the day, with orders to deny 
 him to every body, except Colonel Jones — that 
 he h:!(1 chancjed his dress half an hour before.
 
 366 ADVKNTUllES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 and gone to Colonel Jones's to dinner : she im- 
 mediately sent her servant there, to saj that she 
 had returned home, and was expecting him, as 
 soon as he could get away : the servant went 
 upon his errand, and delivered the message, but 
 was desired by his master to wait. Meanwhile, 
 tile lady finding that the man did not return, 
 became uneasy, and dispatched her coachman 
 after him ; this messenger was also detained : 
 she then was preparing to go to bed, but direct- 
 ed her maid to empty the pockets of her master's 
 coat, and replace it in the wardrobe ; the girl 
 obeyed her, and took out several letters, which 
 she laid on the dressing-table, the uppermost 
 having Colonel Jones's name at the corner of 
 the address: the lady very naturally opened it, 
 thinking it was probably an invitation to dinner 
 that day, and might te.nd to explain the inatten- 
 tion to her repeated messages ; she found to her 
 horror, that it was an appointment for the fol- 
 lowing morning, so worded that she could not 
 entertain a doubt of its meaning, especially when 
 coupled with the fact of her husband having 
 denied himself to every body except Colonel 
 Jones. In fact, he had o:one to the Colonel's 
 for the express purpose of making the necessary
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 367 
 
 arrangements : she had the presence of mind to 
 come to me at my residence, instead of follow- 
 inii' her husband. I was enabled bv means of 
 my own servant's renseignemens below stairs, to 
 trace his steps from the Colonel's house, and, 
 of course, I lost no time in following him to 
 his place of concealment. By my interposition, 
 everything was satisfactorily settled, and, to 
 this hour, there are not, as I believe, twenty in- 
 dividuals out of their respective families, that 
 have even a suspicion of the matter. 
 
 I have been the more particular in these de- 
 tails, to show how easily a case may happen in 
 which such affairs get wind, without the least 
 reproach to any of the parties ; but still I agree 
 with the world in thinking that in most cases, 
 the carelessness is "wailful ; and hence I infer that 
 it may safely be assumed, that the principals in 
 an intended duel, unless they are juvenile fools 
 who will risk every thing for a little eclat, meet 
 reluctantly, and would gladly not meet at all ; 
 nor is this any reproach to them ; for a man 
 who could face the cannon's mouth under a 
 sense of duty, may be pardoned, without any 
 slur upon his courage, for entering with nervous 
 apprehension upon an encounter without a tenth
 
 b68 ADYENTUFvER OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 of the danger, where duty and conscience, in 
 Bpite of all the sophistry of the %Yorld, must tell 
 him that he is wrong: not only wrong, but, in 
 some sense, committing the only unpardonable 
 sin. 
 
 Acting upon this principle, whenever I have 
 been called upon to interfere in an " awkward 
 case" of this description, whether as a solicitor, 
 or a friend, my first maxim has been to "soft- 
 solder " the party into a qualified acknowledg- 
 ment of error : and this is not difificult, after 
 intimating in the gentlest way, that a meeting is 
 out of the question, measures being ready to 
 prevent it, but that your object is to avoid giv- 
 ing publicity to the disappointment. It is not 
 always possible,! admit, for a second to do this, 
 but it is always possible to the attorney, and 
 ofenerallv bo to the friend, before he becomes a 
 second. A generous man, moreover, is always 
 ready to acknowledge error : he only hesitates 
 lest it should be thought that he is driven into 
 the acknowledgement by fear. I have then pro- 
 ceeded, careless about an}' introduction but my 
 own, to the antagonist, and being careful, in the 
 same way, to premise that all ni}' object is to 
 avoid publicity to a necessary interruption of
 
 TN SEAKCn OF PRACTICE. 360 
 
 the ceremony, I have succeeded with him with 
 as Uttle difficulty as with the other; a due reser- 
 vation heing always, of course, made for the 
 arbitrament of their respective seconds. These 
 gentlemen are the most difficult to manage, but 
 a professional go-between, if gifted with any 
 dexterity of address, can manage such matters 
 wonderfully, provided he only takes care to in- 
 timate, with all possible courtesy, that his object 
 is to insure secrecy in a case which will gain 
 credit for nobody in Westminster Hall. 
 
 It may well be supposed, that no individual 
 can lay claim to so much experience in such 
 affiiirs, as to lay down these general rules ex 
 cathedra. I certainly have never had above 
 half-a-dozen cases of the kind occur to me, in 
 five - and - twenty years of practice ; but I suspect 
 that although we scarcely hear of half-a-dozen 
 duels in the course of a year, there are at least 
 half- a -hundred cases within the same time, in 
 which matters would proceed to extremity, but 
 for the interposition of judicious, or injudicious 
 friends : where the judgment is wanting, recon- 
 ciliation is not effi^cted without discredit to one 
 party or the other; my object is to guide such 
 
 interference with judgment. 
 10*
 
 370 ADVENTURES OJ AN ATTOHNET 
 
 All cases of quarreling between private 
 friends, though they stop short of the extreme 
 of personal conflict, are very " awkward cases," 
 when recourse is had to professional inter- 
 ference ; private quarrels become implacable 
 exactly in proportion as they become public, 
 and when thoy originate in pecuniary questions, 
 as thev o-enerallv do if thev require our aid. it is 
 not easy to avoid giving publicity to them. It 
 is verv difficult to manao;e such matters bv 
 rule: we must be guided by the importance of 
 the sum in controversy — by the relative posi- 
 tion of the parties — by their respective tempers, 
 and personal character; whatever these may 
 chance to be, one danger is specially to be 
 avoided — we must treat the whole affair in the 
 dry style of business, and be most cautious not 
 to involve ourselves in the irritation of our 
 clients. A family dispute is one of the rare 
 instances in which sluggishness is prudential 
 on the attorney's part: he risks very little in 
 the way of credit by inactivity, for intimate 
 friends or near relations are extremely well-dis- 
 posed to reconciliation after a reasonable time 
 to cool; and then they are well pleased that 
 matters have not been hurried on to that point
 
 IN SEARCn OF PRACTICE. 371 
 
 which entangles reconciliation with trouhle- 
 some questions of costs. It has been my 
 principle never to issue a writ, or file a bill, 
 between members of the same family, till I have 
 been positively dunned into proceeding; nor 
 even then, till every proposal of reference to 
 counsel, or to friends, has been deliberately and 
 advisedly rejected. I may have lost an equity- 
 suit or two by this extreme precaution, but I 
 believe I have never lost a client, and often 
 saved a friend. 
 
 Conjugal diftereuces form a large proportion 
 of the class of " awkward cases " referred to 
 the family solicitor ; and in cases of this des- 
 cription, the principle that I have just laid 
 down must be reversed; they rarely, if ever, 
 admit of permanent reconciliation: indeed I 
 should say never, unless by a happy chance, 
 both husband and wife are people of good sense, 
 and the interests of children are at stake ; it is 
 seldom however, when this is the case, that 
 conjugal differences arrive at that point that 
 requires foreign interposition. It is true in 
 most instances, but in conjugal disputes the 
 rule has no exception, that both sides are in 
 fault; the same may be predieated of the yet
 
 372 ADVBNTtJRES OP AN ATTORNEY 
 
 more frequent qnai-rcls between father and son, 
 where the former is tenant for life, and the 
 lattei- tenant in tail; a secret distrust of the 
 [)arty whose duty it is in these domestic rela- 
 tions, to be submissive, is generally an error on 
 the safe side, if an error at all; and conse- 
 quently in listening to reciprocal complaint, we 
 may fairly incline to the husband or father, if 
 the dispute is so complicated as to admit of 
 doubt; it is no trifling point to gain on such 
 occasions, to know where the fault principally 
 lies ; it may lead us to the only conciliatory 
 path, and I need hardly observe that I do not 
 write for that unprincipled man, who would 
 for his own profit foment a dispute, where con- 
 ciliation might by possibility prevent it. But 
 if domestic harmony appears hopeless, then the 
 attorney must act with decision, regardless 
 whom he may offend ; and as it frequently 
 happens that he is consulted by both parties, 
 his duty is to act on the first retainer, and 
 cautiously to regulate all his previous conduct 
 hy the reflection that he may, when all con- 
 ciliation has failed, be called upon to act pro- 
 fessionally for the party that has first consulted 
 him. Under this restraint, he will accept no
 
 1^- SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 373 
 
 conlidcnce from the other, that may place him 
 in the painful dilemma of maintaining good 
 faith to hoth. 
 
 The ease of all others that Jeniandd the 
 greatest caution and address on the attorney's 
 part is that of imputed infidelity to the conjugal 
 vow ; on whichever side the charge arises, it is 
 to be received with suspicion, for it is usually 
 made before it is well - founded, and when once 
 made it has a direct tendency to substantiate 
 itself. Some of the anecdotes already o-iven 
 will abundantly prove that a conspiracy may 
 exist between husband and wife to victimize a 
 man worth "plucking," and the possibility 
 that this object may have led to those equivocal 
 positions of which the husband never complains 
 till he finds the conspiracy defeated, is alone a 
 Buflicient reason to doubt his story, if his 
 general reputation is questionable. Many cir- 
 cumstances may assist our judgment on this 
 point : habitual neglect of the wife, systematic 
 desertion of domestic duties, and the parade of 
 what is called fashionable indifference, at the 
 same time that a good understanding and a 
 general outward decorum have been displayed, 
 tend materially to confirm the impression that
 
 374 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 the alleged injury may have been preconcerted, 
 if not for the purpose of victimizing, at all 
 events to afford the means of legal separation. 
 In either of these cases, an attorney of houor- 
 ahle feeling will be very backward in allowing 
 himself to be made the instrument of facilitat- 
 ing his client's views; it certainly is not his 
 business to put himself forward as arbiter morum 
 to society, but he owes it to himself not to be 
 made subservient to purposes which society 
 condemns. In many cases, however, where there 
 is no sufficient reason to hang back from regard 
 to his own character, there is often much hazard 
 of leading his client forward in a course that 
 will end in irreparable mischief: where such an 
 action fails, or is attended with only partial 
 success, the peace of several families is broken 
 for ever; and, what is still more to be lamented, 
 the prospects and hopes of children are for ever 
 blighted. It is the duty of an attorney, when 
 consulted in a case of this kind, to make him- 
 self perfect master of its demerits, not less than 
 its merits. 
 
 The first thing to be considered in reference 
 to this point is the temper in which the com- 
 plaint is made; and here I may observe that
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 875 
 
 jealousy is rarely prominent where certainty 
 exists ; nor is even violent excitement often ex- 
 hibited where a settled conviction of conjugal 
 guilt is entertained ; if I see a man actuated by 
 very strong and bitter feelings, I infer, that 
 whatever ground he has for suspicion, it is after 
 all, only suspicion ; and hence that my primary 
 duty is to allay it, unless he discloses facts that 
 ought to be conclusive to an unbiased mind, or 
 that are too unequivocal not to call for inquiry ; 
 even when this is the case, that inquiry must be 
 conducted in the most cool and dispassionate 
 temper. Artful servants, mischief- makmg 
 friends, and gossiping relations, are^wont to put 
 the worst construction on conduct that may 
 amount to no more than thoughtless le\dty, 
 blameable but not decisive. The manner of 
 some men is naturally empressee towards females, 
 without any criminal motive ; others from mere 
 foppery affect an air of gallantry, or a tone of 
 sentiment, which right!}- interpreted, means no 
 more than that they are thinking of themselves 
 in preference to any body else, whether male or 
 female ; and often have I seen this coquetry re- 
 turned, by married women too, so sympathetical- 
 ly, that plain matter-of-fact people would set
 
 376 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 it (loAvn to improper intimacy, while others of 
 more acuteness or more knowledge of the world 
 would only laugh at the deception each party 
 was practicing on the other, and probably on 
 himself. Yet incidents and scenes like these are 
 ill-naturedly treasured up by some of the good 
 folks I have mentioned, and, when a sufficient 
 hoard of them is amassed, liberallv bestowed 
 on the "injured husband," as a charitable do- 
 nation by some pious friend, and like all charit- 
 able donations, most gratefully accepted : the 
 unfortunate husband is of course made vigilant, 
 officious servants are set upon to watch, and to 
 vindicate their claim to confidence tell twenty 
 lies for one word of truth ; the husband kicks 
 his wife out of doors — loads his pistols — sends 
 for his friends — his friends for the doctor and a 
 strait waistcoat — and after proper commotion, 
 and a decent interval, all hurry away to the 
 attorney, who without more ado, retains Ser- 
 jeant Wilde, issues the writ, and from that 
 moment all go their own way to the devil ! In- 
 stances sometimes occur where even less doubt- 
 ful indications of guilt prove in the event to be 
 utterly fallacious. A gentleman once consulted 
 me in a case in which with all my distrust in
 
 IN SEARCn OF PRACTICE. 377 
 
 such matters I could not help arriving at his 
 conclusion; hut happily avc discovered our error 
 in time to avoid mischief. He had heen inform- 
 ed by one of those pests of society, the " lady's 
 maid," that his wife received unusual attention 
 from a young clergyman, who was a frequent 
 and welcome visitor at the house, and moreover 
 that a clandestine correspondence had long been 
 carried on between them : a " o^ood-niffht kiss " 
 too had twice been noticed, and dulv comment- 
 ed on below stairs, and sundry other little liber- 
 ties of no individual importance, but of large 
 aggregate amount, proclaimed a very good un- 
 derstanding bet\^'een the parties. After much 
 uncomfortable espionage that led to nothing- 
 more decisive, the husband intercepted one of the 
 aforesaid letters, and was at once convinced of 
 his dishonor. He brought it to me without 
 an hour's delay; and on the perusal of it, and 
 hearing of the previous occurrences, I quite con- 
 curred in his impression ; with his approbation 
 I immediatly went to the lady, to intimate the 
 necessity of her taking refuge with her friends. 
 I found the fair one in gay spirits, seated on the 
 sofa with the young gentleman by her side, and 
 her sister next to him. I was embarrassed by
 
 378 ADVENTUKES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 tlie frank and cheerful reception I met with 
 from all the trio. 
 
 "You are just come in time, Mr. Sharpe, we 
 want your help." I looked as grave as possible, 
 while I inquired the occasion. 
 
 "We have lost a love-letter, Mr. Sharpe, and 
 Alfred, here, is half mad about it." 
 
 "I have it in my pocket, Ma'am," I replied, 
 with awful gravity. 
 
 " Let me have it, my good Sir ; do give it 
 me directly ; " cried the sister, suddenly jump- 
 ing up from the sofa, and all but offering to 
 search my pocket. 
 
 " Stay, Caroline; have patience : ]\Ir. Sharpe, 
 how did you obtain that letter ? " 
 
 "From your husband, Madam," still main- 
 taining the most inflexible severity of features, 
 but I could not preserve it long ; they looked 
 at each other at first with some blushing con- 
 fusion that confirmed my impressions ; but it 
 was but momentary, for the next instant they 
 all burst into uncontrollable laughter, and in 
 spite of myself, and the serious matter that 
 brought me among them, I laughed too, though 
 without knowing why. As soon as she re- 
 covered herself, the lady quietly asked me
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 379 
 
 whether I had read the letter, and on telliuo- 
 her that I had, she inquired with phiyful anger, 
 how I dared to prj- into other people's con-es- 
 pondence. 
 
 "Your husband desired me." 
 " And how dare he presume to open it ? " 
 " Because it was addressed to you." 
 " So jou neither of you noticed the C below 
 the seal! that letter is my sister's, Sir; and 
 now allow me to introduce you to Mr. and 
 Mrs. Lawrence ; they were married a week ago, 
 and have been engaged these six months ! ! ! " 
 
 I looked like a fool, no doubt ; it was clear 
 enough that the acuteness of woman's wit 
 immediately penetrated my errand, and a man 
 never looks so silly as when abashed by woman's 
 Huperiority ; the mystery was soon explained; 
 the clergyman expected a living from his uncle, 
 who fondly hoped that the youth would marry 
 his daughter for the sake of the preferment ; 
 but the pretty cousin had as little relish for this 
 simoniacal contract as the reverend swain him- 
 self, for she too had a little affiiir of her own 
 on hand. The marriage with Miss Caroline 
 was kept secret, lest it should interfere with the 
 expected preferment, and the husband being
 
 380 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 next door to an ass, was not to be trusted witb 
 it. The elopement of the pretty cousin a few 
 days after, allowed the whole affair to be pub- 
 lished. I only obtained m}' pardon from the 
 lady on condition that I would remain to dinner, 
 and send to desire her husband's immediate re- 
 turn : she was bent on having her revenge, and 
 when he entered she maliciously begged to intro- 
 duce him to "her dear Alfred," giving him at 
 the same time a tender kiss, that she resolutely 
 refused to the astonished conjugal culprit. Our 
 laugh at the sally soon relieved his mind, but 
 not till he had vented one or two imprecations 
 that would have dislocated the jaw-bone of any 
 but a true member of the asinine fraternity. 
 
 I have known matters go farther than this, 
 and yet stop infinitely short of actual guilt ; 
 but I forbear stating the circumstances, because 
 I should be loth to run the bare possibility of 
 reviving painful retrospect in the minds of any 
 reader. Some among the seniors of the profes- 
 sion may be at no loss to recall to mind an 
 elopement where a locus penitentice was found 
 even in the first stage to Dover ! An attorney 
 cannot be too cautious in receiving the first stiite- 
 ment of a husband's dishonor, or too doubtful
 
 IN SEABCII OF PRACTICE. 381 
 
 of the evidence by which it is proposed to 
 establish the fact : where, however, the proofs 
 are irresistible, even there he is not at libertv at 
 once to bring the action. I have already noticed 
 that in all such affairs, there is assuredly fault 
 on both sides. This will always appear on the 
 trial of the issue, if the action is not collusive; 
 and then both parties leave the court irretriev- 
 ably damaged, and the children, as a matter of 
 course, are excluded from the pale of societv. 
 There is a certain pseudo-feshionable class, 
 where this extreme penalty may not be exacted, 
 because the precedent would be inconvenient; 
 but in every class that lays claim to respecta- 
 bility, whether of patrician or plebeian rank, the 
 daughter of a divorcee is not favorably intro- 
 duced, I might almost say, is barely tolerated — 
 the taint, to a certain extent, is hereditary. I enter 
 not into the moral question whether it consists 
 with Christian charity or social policy, thus 
 finally to close the door against the unfortuna4:e 
 woman who has even once straj^ed from the 
 right path; and yet more to visit a parent's fault 
 on innocent offspring — that is no affair of mine: 
 but I take the rule as I find it; and it seems to 
 me to impose a very serious and difficult duty
 
 882 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 on the attorney, lie beino; nsuallv the first man 
 consulted whose opinion is decisive on the 
 course to follow. Before he sanctions by his 
 advice, proceedings of which the consequences 
 are so terrible and so extensive, it becomes him 
 to satisfy himself that the exsposure may not 
 be shared bv both liusband and wife, and tlius 
 orphanize their issue. It is the more important 
 because I have too often seen that in the im- 
 patience of redress on the one side, and the eager- 
 ness of self- vindication on the other, all parental 
 anxiety is absorbed in selfish feelings, and the 
 claims of the infant are forgotten by those who 
 are especially bound to protect them. 
 
 When I was a very young man, I was invited 
 by a friend to dine with him at an hotel at 
 Richmond. He was a married man, and had 
 two children ; but he was a gay man, though 
 maintaining a decent reputation in the world. 
 T met him on the day appointed ; it was on a 
 Sunday in the middle of summer. We formed 
 a small party of four, all of us Cambridge men. 
 We had finished our dinner, and were drinking 
 wine at a window overlooking the river. Those 
 Avho are acquainted with the spot will remember 
 that there is a promenade along the top of the
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 383 
 
 hill between the Star and Garter and the town : 
 our window commanded a full view of this 
 walk. I observed my friend exhibit some 
 symptoms of painful surprise, while watching 
 the pedestrians ; and while I was endeavoring 
 to guess the object that occasioned it, he sud- 
 denly grasped me by the arm, led me away into 
 an adjoining room, and exclaimed with appa- 
 rent agitation, " Sharpe, that lady in the pink 
 bonnet is mv wife ! who the devil can that be 
 with her ? what can have brouo:lit her here ?" 
 He took me to a more private place to point 
 her out to me, and I then prevailed on him to 
 resume his seat, while I inquired about their 
 proceedings. To my amazement I discovered 
 that the lady had arrived unattended, except by 
 this gentleman, at the verj hotel at ■which we 
 were dining, they came in a post-chaise from 
 town, and had ordered dinner in a private 
 room. My onlj' anxiety was to avoid a scene, 
 and to accomplish this, I determined to keep 
 back my discovery, and hurry off my friend as 
 speedily as possible in the opposite direction. I 
 made an excuse for calling him out of the room, 
 and carried him to the Star and Garter, under 
 the pretense that I had traced the wife thither.
 
 384 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 I tlicn came back, broke up the party, and 
 giving his cue to the waiter to keep his eje on 
 the guilty pair, I returned with my friend in a 
 chaise to London. We settled on our road that 
 in the event of the waiter's information proving 
 conclusive, the action should be forthwith 
 brought. On his arrival at his own house, he 
 asked no questions, but contented himself with 
 ransacking her desk and dressing-case for 
 letters, left word that he was going out of town 
 that night, and came to sleep at my lodgings. 
 "We found two or three notes suspicious enough, 
 and the waiter's evidence completed the detec- 
 tion. I issued the writ, and the usual steps 
 were taken; but all this time I thought my 
 friend was wonderfully cool and easy about the 
 matter ; so much so, that though I was perfectly 
 aware that there was no affection in the case, I 
 could not avoid some suspicions that there was 
 a little underhand dealing indicated by such 
 extreme philosophy. The rencontre at Rich- 
 mond was so singular, the meeting at the same 
 inn, my being there in the very nick of time, 
 the easy capture of the letters, and the prompt 
 compliance with all my suggestions, — all com- 
 bined to ext'ite distrust ; but all my ingenuity
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 385 
 
 was exerted in vain to unravel the mystery. 
 At last I determined to take him by surprise ; 
 and one dav after dinner, for he still remained 
 .it my lodgings, I put the question to him 
 broadly, 
 
 " Owen*, what v/ereyou doing at Richmond ? " 
 
 " Entertaining you." 
 
 " Yes, yes : but when did you arrive there ? " 
 You remember that you would not ride down 
 with me, nor yet with Twisden." 
 
 " I went first to order dinner." 
 
 " What, overnight ? " 
 
 " "Who told you that I spent the night there? " 
 
 " The chambermaid." (I only spoke on 
 Bpeculation, however.) 
 
 "The little jade! so she betrayed me! and 
 most likely told my wife too ! " 
 
 This admission, so thoughtlessly made, was 
 enough for me. It was clear that the chamber- 
 maid knew it was his wife, and she must have 
 either known it from himself, in anticipation of 
 her coming, (for T was certain she had not seen 
 him after the discovery,) or she had learnt it from 
 his wife, who must have been aware that he waa 
 at the inn, though owing to my precautions 
 
 they had not met there ! in either case, this 
 17
 
 886 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTOKNEY 
 
 rencontre was not unpremeditated, and the 
 night's absence was still unexplained. I went 
 the next morning to the opposite solicitor : he 
 was a very respectable man, in the true sense of 
 the word. I frankly told him my suspicions, 
 after a little conversation had assured me that 
 I might confide in him, and I found that they 
 were shared by himself. On comparing notes, 
 we placed the matter out of doubt ; and on my 
 side, I further discovered that Owen had an 
 illegitimate family near Richmond, a fact with 
 which his wife was familiar. Under such 
 circumstances, no good could arise from prose- 
 eutins: the action, but much evil to their chil- 
 dron. We consulted friends on both sides, 
 hushed up the matter by a deed of separation, 
 and there it ended. 
 
 It would be profitless to multiply similar 
 cases, though many have come to my know- 
 ledge, free from collusion perhaps, but where 
 l)oth parties had, for mutual convenience, long 
 connived at each other's profligacy. I have ex- 
 perienced others where the husband alone has 
 been criminal in the legal acceptation ; but 
 where the jealous fury and vindictive temper of 
 the wife, exhibited prematurely and causelessly,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 387 
 
 lind led to tlie realization of guilt erroneously 
 suspected. I knew an instance wliere I myself 
 advised a separation, to save the wretched 
 husband from the repetition of an assault while 
 he was sleeping, such as an incarnate demon 
 alone could have attempted or imagined. A 
 suit for the restitution of conjugal rights was 
 threatened. I called on the lady's proctor, and 
 put him in full possession of the facts. Familiar 
 as that branch of our profession is with human 
 weakness in forms that become atrocious, he 
 would not credit such an astounding disclosure ; 
 but the petticoat -fiend herself acknowledged it, 
 and the suit was of course abandoned. I have 
 said more than enough to bear out my position, 
 that in all cases that occur between man and 
 wife, by far the most "awkward" that ever 
 come under our care, the first duty is to inform 
 ourselves of their demerits.
 
 388 ADVENTUllliS 0¥ AN ATTOENBT 
 
 CHAPTER XXIY. 
 
 "You may as well spread out the unsunned heaps 
 Of miser's treasure by an outlaw's den, 
 And tell me it is safe, as bid me hope 
 Danger will wink on opportunity, 
 And let a single helpless maiden pass 
 Uninjured in this wild surrounding waste." — COMOT. 
 
 There is anotlier class of cases very nearly 
 allied to those of conjugal disputes — the " breach 
 of promise" actions; the awkwardness of these 
 however, is very materially relieved to profes- 
 sional men, by the coarseness of mind in which 
 they have their source : it is so obvious that no 
 female, of even common delicacy, will ever allow 
 her fair name to be placarded as the plaintiff in 
 such an action, that our consciences need not 
 be very tender about the propriety of acting for 
 her without regard to consequences: it is not 
 necessary to be more squeamish than herself. 
 There are however, two cases in which the 
 question of propriety may fairly be discussed — 
 either where character has been gravely attacked,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 389 
 
 as the apology for inconstancy, or where seduc- 
 tion has been effected by aid of a promise of 
 marriage ; in the one case, a too confiding girl 
 may be reduced to beggary, as well as disgrace 
 for life ; in the other, not only her feelings, but 
 those of honoured parents, may be outraged. 
 Here it would be false delicacy to submit in 
 silence, yet still much consideration is due, be- 
 fore actually commencing hostilities. To justi- 
 fy them where character has been attacked, we 
 must be satisfi.ed that the scandal has been made 
 in terms that admit of little doubt of the nature 
 of the imputation — that it has been uttered in 
 a quarter where it will obtain credit — that it has 
 been circulated advisedly, not in momentary 
 anger — that the reputation of the calumniator 
 stands bufficiently high for the calumny to pass 
 current, if uncontradicted ; and above all, that 
 the reproach is utterly unfounded. 
 
 The parents of a young lady, in the indulgent 
 liberality with which that title is now conceded 
 to every woman above the rank of a washer- 
 woman, came to me with tears in their eyes, to 
 give me instructions for an action, where the 
 promise had, by their account, been deliberately 
 made, and heartlessly broken. M^ best sym-
 
 890 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 pathies were awakened, when I saw how sin- 
 cerely they were affected, but it did not seem to 
 me that the lass herself was equally eager for 
 the vindication of her fame ; in fact, while they 
 were in tears, she was giggling : in their presence, 
 all was clear and convincing; but I had the 
 opportunity on the following day, of seeing 
 her alone. 
 
 " Well, Miss Lipton, this is a very vexatious 
 matter ; tell me all about this former lover of 
 your's." 
 
 "Who do you mean, Mr. Sharpe?" 
 
 "You understand me vervwell; the man that 
 Jackson says you went a little too far with." 
 
 "I declare Mr. Sharpe, I don't know what 
 you mean ; nobody went too far with me^ in- 
 deed !" bridling up, but with a simper on her 
 face that she could not suppress, and looking 
 down as if to hide it. 
 
 "Very well, Miss Lipton, it does not much 
 matter, but before T proceed against Jackson, I 
 should like to know the worst he can say of 
 you." 
 
 "I'm sure, Sir, he can say no harm of me, 
 and I don't care what he says; the nasty man 
 may say what he pleases, he can't do me no
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 391 
 
 hurt, nor Harry neither I and T must say I think 
 it very uncivil of vou, Sir." 
 
 "Well; but how ftu- did 'Harry' go?" 
 
 " Mr. Sharpe, I'll answer no more of your 
 impertinent questions, it's no business of yours, 
 Sir, how far he went ! and if Harry were here, 
 he wouldn't suffer it, that he wouldn't !" affect- 
 ing to cr\', but there were no decided lachry- 
 mose symptoms, beyond taking out the hand- 
 kerchief, so I felt no alarm, 
 
 " Then if you won't tell me, Miss Lipton, I 
 must conclude that Jackson has some srround 
 for complaint." 
 
 "You may conclude what you please, Mr. 
 Sharpe, and Jackson may complain of what he 
 pleases. Sir ! but Harry shall do as he pleases, 
 for if you must know, we are to be married to- 
 morrow morning, before pa and ma come home I 
 so I wish you good bye, Sir." 
 
 And there our colloquy ended, and the action 
 with it. 
 
 In the case of seduction under promise of 
 marriage, the chief, perhaps the only considera- 
 tion, usually is, whether the defendant has the 
 means to pay damages ; it ought not to be the 
 only consideration; for it is no trifle to expose
 
 ii'iJ'Z ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 tile unfortunate plaint ifl' to the indurating pro- 
 cess of a public exposure in a court of law, 
 where counsel justify a brutal investigation of 
 all her past sins and follies, on the ground that 
 <luty to their client warrants the exposure ; an 
 excuse that is often strained beyond the limits 
 of decency and humanity : nevertheless, it does 
 occur that prudence or rather necessity, some- 
 times compels us to advise a client to go through 
 this perilous ordeal : it is a terrible necessity 
 tliat drives woman publicly to record her frailty 
 and the illegitimacy of her helpless offspring, 
 in all the journals of the day. The attorney 
 who takes on himself the responsibility of 
 sanctioning a step so desperate, ought at least 
 before he passes the Rubicon, to satisfy liimself 
 well, that the plunge is not made for nothing. 
 
 And here I must be excused for saying a word 
 upon the cruel thoughtlessness of juries; a 
 thoughtlessness as immoral in its tendency, as 
 it is cruel in its operation. A young woman, 
 hitherto of respectable character, and. decent ex- 
 pectations, perhaps even of the higher class, 
 appears before them in the painful and degraded 
 position of a supplicant for redress, against a 
 man who has seduced her by deceitful })romi8es,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 393 
 
 and then left lier, to maintain herself and an 
 innocent child, T^ithout even a hope of ever 
 obtaining independence hj honorable marriage, 
 — she has alienated her friends, because she has 
 brought disgrace upon them — she has deprived 
 herself of all opportunity of turning what 
 talents she may possess to profitable account, 
 because she has lost her reputation — her ex- 
 penses are multiplied, and daily increasing, in 
 consequence of the incumbrance which her fall 
 has brought upon her — by the very act of 
 Boliciting redress, she stamps the indelible im- 
 pression of blighted fame upon herself and her 
 infant, though she has no other resource to 
 preserve that infant from starvation — and if 
 she passes the investigation, as she often does, 
 otherwise untainted, she afibrds fair presump- 
 tive proof of the truth of a position which I 
 have often heard laid down, and believe is true, 
 severely as I have elsewhere spoken of the 
 sex, that woman's first ofiense never sprino-s 
 from a polluted mind, but from the eagerness 
 of a devoted heart to give every proof of con- 
 fiding afiieetion. Such is the case of almost 
 every plaintiff in an action for breach of promise 
 
 attended by seduction, and such are the circum- 
 17*
 
 o94 ADVENTURES OF AX ATTORNEY 
 
 stances under which she appeals to hnshands, 
 fathers, and hrothers, for compensation ; yet 
 wliat is th(> ordinary result? the tale of mis- 
 fortune is heard — not with cordial sympathy, 
 hut with a gloating zest for its indecent inci- 
 dents, and an eager expectation, ill suppressed, 
 of the fun and equivoque that counsel, with 
 coarseness worthy of his cause, may ingeniously 
 provoke on cross-examination: thus prepared 
 for the necessarily cold and heartless judicial 
 charge, they turn round in their hox for a 
 scanty quarter of an hour, and after mutual 
 chuckling over the rihaldry of the bar, and 
 pleading to their consciences the hackneyed 
 recommendation of the judge to give tem'perate 
 mid moderate damages, agree upon a verdict of 
 two or three hundred pounds, and go home and 
 dine, in comfortable complacency with each 
 other and themselves, for the liberal justice they 
 have rendered to an injured female ! ! ! Xow I 
 will put what may be considered an extreme 
 case, and assume that the damages are awarded 
 at five hundred pounds. Let us calculate the 
 real value of such a verdict. In the first place, 
 so long as the foolish principle obtains, Avhich, 
 even modified as it has been of late years, still
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 39t^ 
 
 holds to a considerable extent, that a successful 
 party is to recover no higher costs than are 
 adequate in strict necessity to conduct the cause 
 to issue and judgment, damages to the amount 
 of £500 will be reduced to ^450 by extr? 
 costs ; and if the attorney has shown the zeal 
 and activity which he ought to do, especially 
 in a cause of this nature, his extra costs ought 
 to be much more than fifty pounds, in most 
 cases. Another deduction is to be made for the 
 charge of the plaintiif's confinement and its 
 concomitant expenses : these may be moderately 
 stated at twenty pounds, and if she happens to 
 be in any station of society above the very 
 lowest, her temporary seclusion for some months, 
 is inevitable to spare her the torture of publicit}', 
 when her frailty first becomes known : it would 
 be difficult to reckon this at less than thirty 
 pounds more. Thus four hundred pounds is 
 the balance left to provide for the unhappy 
 woman and her child ; and it must be remem • 
 bered that this provision is for life ! from her 
 situation, it follows that she cannot employ the 
 money in business, even if she understands a 
 trade : this compensation is the very limit of 
 all lici' <'iirthly prospects: wli^Mi diaracter ia
 
 896 ADVENTUKES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 gone, aii<l friends are alienated, she can of 
 course expect no more: it may produce her, if 
 judiciously invested, an annuity of twelve or 
 fourteen shillings per week, and when this fails 
 to support her, she has but one alternative 
 — the town! to this she is eventually driven, 
 not more by the cruel faithlessness of her lover, 
 than by the cool indiiferenee of her jury. 
 Should these pages ever reach the eyes of any 
 that have been called upon to measure damages 
 in these cases of compound breach of faith, I 
 trust they will be more liberallj^ inclined here- 
 after, towards the wretched, plaintiff; and while 
 they temper their verdict with moderation, as 
 the judges tell them, will also remember that 
 "moderation" is a comparative term; a man 
 treads on my spaniel's toes, and I ask him with 
 calmness and temper, to be more careful another 
 time ; but if he insults my daughter, I think it 
 a moderate course to kick him down stairs 
 though at the risk of breaking his neck.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 397 
 
 CHAPTEE XXY. 
 
 "Nor can protection be accomplished as regards private slander, 
 unless the defense of the injured character is made so easy, safe, and 
 effectual, that the legal proceeding shall not be either loaded with 
 ruinous expense, nor shall imply a consciousness of guilt, nor shall 
 aggravate, rather than remove the mischief done. In aU these par- 
 ticulars however, the law of this countrj^ is singularly defective." 
 
 Brougham's Speeches. Vol. I. 
 
 In relation to another topic I have given an 
 instance of a class of "awkward cases," so 
 common in these days, that almost every attor- 
 ney is familiar with them : I mean those which 
 arise in newspaper lihels. I really think that 
 the Times, and John Bull, together with certain 
 other periodicals of less illustrious names, 
 deserve the honor of plate by subscription 
 from our learned body, for the enormous costs 
 to which they have assisted us. I am not cer- 
 tain whether it be good policy in an author to 
 fall foul of the daily press ; it is difficult to say; 
 for if sometimes they affect a magnanimous 
 indifference akin to that of the lion when the
 
 398 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 (log worried him, and gave a sort of lofty good- 
 Immored growl that may draw attention to 
 the ignoble assailant, without injuring him by 
 a lash of the tail, at other times, and far more 
 frequently, they go on sleeping in proud and 
 pretended unconsciousness of such unworthy 
 enemies ; their silence is far more provoking, 
 because more mischievous to one's celebrity. 
 I have been extremely amused sometimes by 
 the ingenuity with which the more witty and 
 learned of these mighty scribes contrive at once 
 to give vent to their displeasure, and yet morti- 
 fy their foes by contemptuous suppression of 
 their assaults. I recollect once being at a dinner- 
 party of young men, none of them contempti- 
 ble in point of ability, and some of them far 
 otherwise. By way of evening amusement, we 
 selected each our daily paper, and affecting the 
 tone of familiar acquaintance, addressed letters 
 to the editors in such terms as we considered 
 most likely to irritate, that we might have 
 the pleasure of judging by their " answers to 
 correspondents " how far we succeeded in pene- 
 trating their anonymous hides. At our next 
 meeting we brought their various replies; they 
 were entertaining, inasmuch as if their wit was
 
 IN SEARCH or PRACTICE. 399 
 
 somewhat scant}-, thej at least furnished each 
 of us with a soubriquet for the evening, that 
 afforded no little pleasantry among ourselves. 
 All dealt very much in alliteration, and most 
 affected the laconic. I cannot recollect the 
 whole of them, but they w^ere very similar, and 
 the Times was especially nettled, though I 
 cannot now recall the cause of offense. " Old 
 Mck is a ninny ! we know him better than he 
 thinks we do ; we wish he would send his bald- 
 erdash to papers that have more room for it." 
 "Bounce is a booby," was the retort of another; 
 if I remember right, it was the Chronicle. "A 
 fool who writes a clerk -like hand may be 
 assured that we were not hoaxed sufficiently to 
 reach the second page of his letter;" was John 
 Bull's somewhat Irish disclaimer of being 
 duped. A fourth answered in obvious wrath, 
 "Fairplay looks as foolish as when he was 
 dragged out of the horsepond ! he forgets that 
 we were by ; w^e could tell him all about it if 
 necessary !" It gave us some gratification to 
 see, that even in their mysterious hiding-places 
 these self-important worthies did not feel quite 
 comfortable when attacked with daggers, as 
 pointed if not as poisonous as their own ; for
 
 400   liVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 there was not one letter that remained unnoticed, 
 nor one answer that did not show the eager 
 wish to throw back the mortification that had 
 been inflicted. 
 
 I must not again however lose sight of my 
 subject. If the law of libel is open to com- 
 plaint, I know of no respect in which it is so 
 more justly, than that every remedy which it 
 gives to an injured party is of such a nature, 
 that the adoption of it exposes him to redoubled 
 reproach: hence every timorous or weak- 
 minded man is reduced to helpless and humiliat- 
 ing prostration before the daily press, should 
 he unfortunately provoke its enmity, or enjoy 
 rank or oflice of sufficient importance to draw 
 hostile observation upon him : whether he 
 files a criminal information, or indicts or brings 
 an action for damages, it is all one ; take which 
 course he will, he is accused of a sinister motive 
 for not selecting another in preference, and 
 consciousness of guilt is good-naturedly de- 
 duced from either; nor is this new imputation 
 confined to the paper that he has attacked ; in 
 cases of libel, all the journals make common 
 cause with their contemporary, whatever may 
 chance to be their ]iolitical, or even their
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 401 
 
 personal hostility--: they seem to think them- 
 selves entitled as of obvious and undoubted 
 right, to put any man they please on self-de- 
 fense on oath, and when defeated in this object 
 by the resolute refusal of their victim to submit 
 to such tyranny, the}^ complain of the hardship 
 imposed on themselves in the discharge of their 
 public duty ! as if all the world did not know 
 that they undertake such a duty voluntarily, 
 for the best of all possible reasons, that it re- 
 ceives higher pay than any other speculation in 
 the field of literature. To read some of the 
 angry articles that appear on these occasions, 
 one would really be tempted to imagine that 
 the proprietors of newspapers were the most ill- 
 used class in the community, who, having out 
 of pure public spirit, undertaken a gratuitous 
 service to their fellow -subjects, were persecuted 
 for their disinterested patriotism ! ! ! ^Lmy of 
 them indeed, carry their assurance so far, that 
 they go out of their way to insinuate some 
 injurious charge, and then demand payment for 
 the contradiction of it as an advertisement ! I 
 remember recently seeing a glaring instiince of 
 this, in the Times, in a letter of the joint- solici- 
 tors of the Westminster Improvement Company.
 
 402 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 Could the manager of that journal Lave over- 
 heard some of the very general comments made 
 on this occasion, out of the profession as well 
 as in it, I doubt if he would have felt much 
 flattered ! It is fair to observe, that, if far from 
 immaculate, the Herald is more exempt from 
 these libelous sins than any other journal of 
 the day, and the Times, with all its swaggering 
 importance, seems for more disposed than others 
 to allow fair play in the way of self- exculpation 
 to libeled parties; but the best of them are an 
 ungrateful set to the very public that supports 
 them. 
 
 Common as these libel -cases arc, they are 
 very embarrassing to professional men : it 
 certainly is far from pleasant to the attorney 
 himself, to become the object of a splenetic and 
 vindictive attack, which is very likely to follow 
 if he is successful against the newspaper which 
 he is called upon to prosecute ; but I will do 
 my brethren the justice to say, that I believe 
 there are very few among them so destitute of 
 moral courage, as to be intimidated in the dis- 
 charge of their duty by any apprehension of 
 such personal consequences. The real difficulty 
 in cases of this kind, springs from the reluc-
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 403 
 
 tance wliieh all men have to face the public, 
 where custom, profession, or political pretension 
 has not rendered them indiiferent to tlie en- 
 counter. It is a natural bashfulness, akin to 
 that which cows a man on his early appearance 
 as a public speaker. It is difficult to overcome 
 this timidity, even where one is conscious that 
 it is ndsplaced and unreasonable : and yet it is 
 not less an act of kindness, than of legal duty, 
 to resist the indulgence of it, for it makes the 
 party libelled exquisitely sensitive to the attack. 
 I have been consulted in many cases, in which 
 my client has, from morbid sensibility, been 
 excited almost to madness, by some scurrilous 
 insinuation in the public papers, and at the 
 same time has been ludicrously stuck on the 
 horns of the usual dilemma, whether he should 
 not make bad worse, by challenging scrutiny 
 into the justice of the charge : this apprehension 
 always predominates in proportion to the 
 privacy of the client's routine of life. A coun- 
 try gentleman, who, in some unlucky hour has 
 so far lost discretion, as to take an active part 
 in a county election, in preference to killing 
 partridges, or more frequently a quiet clergy- 
 man, betrayed by ecclesiastical zeal into contro-
 
 404 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 versy on some question involving the temporal 
 interests of the church, finds himself unex- 
 pectedly " shown up," in a provincial journal ; 
 private malice (and who is without a private 
 enemy ?) assists the editor to dress up a para- 
 graph in colors in which truth and falsehood 
 are intimately mixed. In the simplicity of his 
 mind, the victim sends an explanation, candidly 
 admitting the truth, and vainly endeavoring to 
 separate it from its base alloy : the admission 
 is published with new and aggravated com- 
 ments — the exculpation is suppressed, because 
 " the pressure of other matter precludes us from 
 giving more than an extract from the reverend 
 gentleman's letter, which we must regret, as we 
 should have liked to amuse our readers " — 
 thus ridicule is added to abuse; the libel, if 
 pointed, or from circumstance politically im- 
 portant, is quoted by the London press, as 
 illustrative of a public grievance ; the poor 
 pastor solicits a contradiction, and is kindly 
 assured that " his explanation is an advertise- 
 ment," and of course inadmissible, unless paid 
 for at five shillings a line, being the tithe of a 
 year's income. Meanwhile he is condemned to 
 the hypocritical condolences of all his clerical
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 405 
 
 neighbors — a letter of fraternal inquiry by liis 
 diocesan — and a curtain lecture nio-litlv by liis 
 wife. The spirit of resistance is at length 
 aroused, he collects the testimonials of all his 
 parish — provides for to - morrow's funeral and 
 next Sunday's duty — huddles a clean shirt and 
 a sermon into his carpet-bag, ties his silk 
 handkerchief round his neck, and bustles away 
 to town on the top of the coach, full of pious 
 indignation, not the less potent because long 
 suppressed, to consult his attorney, and restore 
 peace to his fire- side, and confidence to his 
 flock. "Woe betide him if his attorney wants 
 sense or principle ! in either case his living is 
 sequestrated — his fimiily are thrown on the 
 parish, and he is a degraded man for life ! Our 
 duty is to laugh away the irritation, give him 
 a night's lodging and a good bottle of port, and 
 send him safely back by the next coach to his 
 friends. 
 
 But there are cases, and far too many of 
 them, that admit of no conciliatory arrange- 
 ment by the consoling process of the dinner 
 table. Where personal honor, or professional 
 or official integrity is attacked, redress must be 
 sought by legal proceedings; and this more
 
 40G ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 especially when a false color is ingeniously 
 given to facts of themselves innocent, and when 
 strangers may be justified in withdrawing con- 
 fidence, if vindication is withheld. It is in 
 such cases that the responsibility of advising is 
 most painfully felt : if it is true that policy re- 
 quires every man who may accidentally be in- 
 volved in the affairs of public life, to be at all 
 times ready to meet a rigid investigation into 
 every act of his existence, whenever he is chal- 
 lenged by the daily press, (and their doctrines 
 on the liberty of the press amount to this,) it is 
 not less true that a fearful responsibility is 
 thrown upon the solicitor who has to advise a 
 client how to conduct himself under circum- 
 stances so perilous to the most virtuous. If an 
 action for damages is recommended, the plain- 
 tiff cannot be examined, and he is taunted with 
 consciousness of guilt, because he has not pre- 
 ferred moving for a criminal information, 
 where he must have pui'ged himself by affidavit. 
 If he moves for an information, he is exposed 
 to a similar taunt for not subjecting the value 
 of his character to the estimate of a jury! If 
 lie takes neither course and indicts, as truth is 
 no part of the issue, he cannot be examined in
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 407 
 
 open court, unless by the special connivance of 
 the judge, a connivance rightly felt to be extra 
 judicial, and therefore rarely exhibited : then 
 he is challenged with availing himself of a 
 remedy that covers him from the fire of cross- 
 examination ; and this is the unfortunate dilem- 
 ma to which any anonymous libeler can reduce 
 him at pleasure ! It is very true that among 
 professional men, such taunts and insinuations 
 are valued as they deserve, at nothing ; but the 
 world in general is not capable of such dis- 
 crimination, and never will be. It is through 
 this legal Scj-lla and Charybdis, that we are 
 required to steer our clients safely, and it is the 
 attornev who in this hazardous navio-ation 
 must alwavs take the helm : we can receive but 
 little assistance from counsel ; the private feel- 
 ings, the past histor}', the personal character 
 of the party, are rarely known to them ; they 
 are always strangers to our clients except in 
 reference to the particular transaction, and 
 clients are rarely willing to repose such ex- 
 tensive domestic confidence in them. But it is 
 by these circumstances only, that a correct 
 judgment can be formed. A man of strong 
 nerve, and consistent moral conduct, may
 
 408 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 prudently be advised to set publicity at defiance, 
 w^hile the same course miglit j)rove fatal to tbe 
 domestic peace, and perhaps to the health of a 
 timid man, or one open to censure for early 
 delinquencies : even where the plaintiiF himself 
 need not be deterred by any personal considera- 
 tions from submitting to the severest scrutiny, 
 lie may be intimately connected by family ties, 
 with those whom such scrutiny may collaterally 
 expose, and this is a difficulty that counsel can- 
 not appreciate. It rests with us therefore, ex- 
 clusively, to bear the weight of that moral 
 responsibility which is involved in the exercise 
 of a legal discretion in cases of serious libel, 
 and hence I class them among the most difficult 
 that fall to our lot to manage. 
 
 It is our duty in all cases to form a dis- 
 passionate judgment on the wrongs sustained 
 by our clients, but there is no ease in which 
 this is so necessary as in actions or prosecutions 
 for libel. Even where language is insulting, no 
 three nien will be found who exactly agree in 
 their measure of the insult; but if the question 
 is whether it is injurious, speculation is still 
 more at fault. I have very often looked back 
 on life, and when reflecting on the absurdities
 
 [N SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 409 
 
 ai.vi lollies ot my adolescence, perhaps in honesty 
 
 I should cs,} of a yet later period, I have thought 
 
 what a blessed thing it is that people have such 
 
 short memories in every ^thing that does not 
 
 concern themselves. If others were to treasure 
 
 up our ridiculous errors with as much fidelity 
 
 as conscience does, what a set of fools most of 
 
 us must appear ! Such however, is to every 
 
 man, his vast importance in his own eyes that 
 
 in the first ebullitions of wrath provoked by 
 
 newspaper libel, he concludes all the world has 
 
 nothing else to think about, and will think of 
 
 nothing else while the present generation lasts, 
 
 but the ludicrous figure which he is made to 
 
 cut in the columns of the Times, the Herald, 
 
 or the Chronicle ! lie is in no temper to take 
 
 a just estimate of the injury, and all his family 
 
 are sure to sympathize with him, feeling a sort 
 
 of reflected disgrace in the ridicule thrown upon 
 
 their relative. Our province is to provide the 
 
 scales for nicel}^ weighing the injury committed : 
 
 if it is clear that character is blemished, so long as 
 
 the charge remains uncontradicted, that official 
 
 influence will be diminished, commercial credit 
 
 tarnished, or professional income damaged, we 
 
 are warranted in advising a recourse to law : 
 18
 
 410 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 but ill deciding these points, it is our business 
 to consider well, as in a former case to which 
 I have just alluded, whether the imputation is 
 not only serious, but unequivocally expressed, 
 and prima facie, entitled to credit when proceed- 
 ing from such a quarter ; whether the general 
 reputation of our client may not stand too high 
 to be aiFected by it ; whether he may not have 
 himself provoked the slander by intemperate 
 controversial language ; a charge to which you 
 may be sure that he will not readily plead guilty ; 
 and above all whether there exists no color or 
 foundation for the libel. "WTien satisfied on these 
 important preliminaries, our further advice must 
 be governed by special circumstances, such as the 
 station and pursuits of the client; his moral 
 qualities and character, his relative duty to 
 near connexions, or to superiors in office; the 
 position and circumstances of the defendant 
 should also be taken into the account; the 
 general respectability and influence of his 
 journal, and the probability of a successful 
 issue proving efficient to restrain him from 
 further offisnse ; for many are too wealthy to care 
 either for tine or damages, and many so poor that 
 it is a matter of indifference whether they lose
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 411 
 
 a verdict for twenty pounds, or a thousand. 
 "We must be guided by such considerations in 
 electing between civil and criminal proceedings, 
 and set at defiance all taunts of bavino^ made 
 our election wrong. It is impossible to pre- 
 scribe general rules for the exercise of discretion 
 on these occasions ; all I can say is, that politi- 
 cal libels are for the most part better let alone ; 
 but if that is impossible, then a criminal infor- 
 mation is usually the safest course. An action 
 is the most eligible proceeding in most cases of 
 private libel, but the attorney is a fool positive 
 who brings his action in any case, where the 
 chances are even that he only recovers nominal 
 damages; his rapacity and roguery will be a 
 most amusing theme to the judge, the jury, and 
 every body but himself; and his bill will be 
 taxed to wind up the farce ! 
 
 Many of these remarks are equally applicable 
 to the libels of private writers, though it is only 
 in the instance of newspapers that much difficulty 
 of discretion occurs : but there is such a thing 
 as being too successful for the client's interest. 
 I recollect being instructed many years ago to 
 bring an action for a naval officer who had 
 been charged with swindling in a letter address-
 
 412 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 ed to the Admiralty. It was intimated to him 
 that he must acquit himself of the charge in a 
 court of law, or be struck out of the Navy 
 List. The action was tried at the assizes, and 
 Mr. Baron Gurney, than whom there never 
 existed a more able advocate at Nisi Frius, was 
 his counsel ; the damages were laid at .£500, 
 and we unluckily recovered half; the costs were 
 taxed at three hundred more, and the defendant, 
 panic - struck by this result, absconded. I found 
 out his place of concealment in a very singular 
 way, and laid a plan for his caption, which 
 succeeded, but not till the fellow shot one man, 
 and stabbed another in the attempt, for which 
 a merciful jury convicted him of manslaughter, 
 and an upright judge (Lord Wynford) trans- 
 ported him for life; but my unfortunate client, 
 though he retained his rank, never recovered a 
 sixpence, and soon after died of a disorder 
 brought on by vexation, anxiety, and disap- 
 pointment. The circumstances of this case 
 would alone be sufficient for a romance, but I 
 have not space for the melancholy and extraor- 
 dinary details ; so extraordinary that I could 
 scarcely hope to obtain credit for them, except 
 with those who took part in them, and still
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 413 
 
 survive. It was by what is commonly called 
 good fortune, that I personally escaped the 
 danger. The defendant was secreted in a lonely 
 house at some distance from town, that used to 
 be frequented only a few months previously by 
 the gang of ruffians who were engaged with 
 Thurtell in the plunder and murder of TV"eare. 
 At the same time that I was informed of his place 
 of concealment, I was also cautioned that his 
 character was desperate, and that he always 
 went armed. Apprehending that he was more 
 likely to buy off the officer than shoot him, I 
 resolved to accompany him, to guard against 
 any dereliction of duty, and ordered a post- 
 chaise. "We were both seated in it, and the boy 
 had mounted, when I found that my pistols, 
 which I had been advised to take for self- de- 
 fense, had not been put into the carriage. I 
 stopped the post-boy, and desired my clerk to 
 fetch the mahogany box on my table. "What 
 is that. Sir?" asked the officer. "Only my 
 dressing-case: we may be detained all night." 
 "Dressing-case!" replied the man, who on tak- 
 ing it out of my clerk's hand, found that it was 
 heavy, "if that's your fun, it's no go for me: 
 I'll have nothing to say to such a job. You
 
 414 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 may chance to get dressed to some purpose witli 
 them sort of tools ; but I won't be shaved with 
 you, I promise you !" and out he jumped, in 
 spite of all my expostulations, and bolted. As 
 of course I had myself no authority to take the 
 defendant, there was no help for it but to dis- 
 patch my clerk to the other end of the town in 
 search of another officer who knew his person. 
 It was so late in the day before he succeeded, 
 that he ordered a chaise, and set off with the 
 officer contrary to my directions, without re- 
 turning to me. Hence I knew nothing of the 
 catastrophe, till long after it was all over. Had 
 I been present, I should most probably have 
 been the victim ; for it was principally against 
 me that his vindictive fury was excited, and 
 being myself armed and irritable, I might not 
 have been the only one ! It was one of those 
 merciful escapes for which I hope and wish to 
 be forever grateful to an overruling Providence. 
 Occasions may occur where it is right for an 
 attorney to go a little out of his way to protect 
 a client's interest, and this was one of them : 
 but the result proves that nothing short of 
 necessity, or a quasi necessity, can excuse him 
 
 for stepping beyond the line of professional duty.
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE.. 415 
 
 CHAPTER XXVI. 
 
 " Jndlcls est semper In cauais verum sequi; patroni nonmmquam 
 veriBimlle, etiam si minias sit verum, defendere." 
 
 Cic. de Off. 
 
 There is yet anotlier description of " awk- 
 ward cases " on which I must offer a short re- 
 mark. As a general maxim, a lawyer is bound 
 to accept every retainer, or abandon business ; 
 but in our branch of the profession it is compe- 
 tent to him to reject any particular class, if he 
 avowedly devotes himself to another. It is not 
 very politic, however, to be thus fastidious \dth 
 old and accustomed clients. Accidental cir- 
 cumstances early rendered me very familiar 
 with practice in crown cases ; but I soon found 
 that though such business is easily acquired 
 and by no means unprofitable, as I have else- 
 where shown, it does not consist with a respec- 
 table ambition to seek it. If one who habitu- 
 ally consults you is so unhappy as to have a
 
 4l6 ADVENTURES OP AN ATTORNEY 
 
 son or a brother involved in a criminal charge, 
 it would be rank cowardice to decline a retainer 
 on his behalf, merely because such employment 
 is not generally considered reputable ; and in 
 the motto which I have prefixed to this chapter, 
 we have a high authority to guide us in the 
 duty which such a retainer imposes. But still 
 T would always recommend the attorney to 
 keep himself as much in the back -ground as 
 possible, and to avoid all hazard of rendering 
 his name conspicuous in the police -reports. 
 This is easily accomplished by giving a brief 
 to some Old Bailey counsel ; and they are far 
 more up to all the tricks and manoeuvres of 
 Bow street practice than the most shrewd and 
 dexterous attorney can ever hope to find him- 
 self, where his business of this kind is only 
 casual. The disposition of the client to deceive 
 his solicitor is, as might be expected, most 
 strongly exhibited in cases of criminal accusa- 
 tion, though his chance of being acquitted 
 must essentially depend on the sincerity with 
 which he confides in him. A defendant in a 
 felonious charge can rarely bring himself to 
 acknowledge his guilt even to a privileged con- 
 fidant ; yet without a full and frank explanation
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 417 
 
 of all circumstanceSj the attorney may be taken 
 by surprise, when all precaution is too late, and 
 must at all events be deprived of the oppor- 
 tunity of sifting the evidence for the prosecu- 
 tion. Nor is the innocent defendant les? charge- 
 able with this folly : whether it is to be ascribed 
 to the natural shame of being even suspected of 
 a serious offense disgraceful to character, or to 
 a distrust of the zeal of the attorney when he 
 finds he has an equivocal case, I cannot say; 
 but I have known instances of men, accused of 
 crime, when only guilty of venial indiscretion, 
 who while eager and loud in protesting their 
 innocence, have exposed themselves to the im- 
 minent risk of a conviction, by withholding a 
 confession of those minor follies that have 
 brought them under suspicion of guilt. I will 
 content myself with mentioning only one case 
 which will serve to show the value of perfect 
 candor. It occurred many years ago, in the 
 person of a college friend who had just arrived 
 in London, as ignorant of its snares as a child 
 in arms. He was occupied for some days in 
 that most wearisome of all pursuits, — lodging- 
 hunting. In one of his morning excursions, 
 
 he entered a respectable -looking house, over 
 18*
 
 418 ADVENTURES OP AN ATTORNEY 
 
 which he was shown by a young female of very 
 forward and flippant manners. He thought- 
 lessly entered into familiar conversation with 
 her, not very likely of the most decorous kind, 
 when the artful hussey ran out of the room, 
 screaming violently for help, till her cries 
 brought up a man to her assistance, who, with- 
 out more ceremony, laid hands on the supposed 
 culprit, and detained him while he sent out the 
 girl for an oflicer ! It was in vain that he ex- 
 plained and protested : he was carried off in 
 custody on a charge of attempting a criminal 
 assault, and the only indulgence granted to him 
 was to send a messenger for me, before he was 
 taken to the bar of the police office. He told 
 me frankly all that had passed ; and as I knew 
 him to be a man of veracity, and he had 
 admitted enough to lay himself open to re- 
 proach, though not to accusation, I thought 
 the best way was to compromise the matter. 
 The girl of course, was impracticable : but I 
 applied to the man, and he had the impudence 
 to ask a hundred pounds ! To obtain time for 
 inquiry, T affected to listen to him, and left my 
 friend in custody all night, while I spent the 
 time in inquiries about the house and its worthy
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 419 
 
 inmates ; nor was it spent in vain. The land- 
 lord of the scoundrel, though I believe he was 
 fully cognizant of his tenant's character, entered 
 warmly into the matter, personally undertook 
 the negotiation, and effected my friend's release 
 for five pounds. I afterwards was informed, 
 how truly I cannot say, that it was not the 
 first nor the second occasion on which this 
 precious pair had played the same game success- 
 fully ! Had my friend kept back his folly from 
 me, such as it really was, I should have advised 
 him to face it out, and the advice would have 
 been hazardous, to say the least of it! had 
 nothing worse followed, he would have been 
 stigmatized for life by the publicity of a police ' 
 report, nor would a subsequent acquittal at the 
 Old Bailey have much mended the matter, in 
 point of reputation. An attorney is bound to 
 make the best of his client's case, whether ffuilt\ 
 or innocent; but I think he is always justified 
 in throwing it up, when he has reason to believe 
 that his client is withholding full confidence. 
 
 If I were to follow up my subject to its full 
 extent, I should fill another volume; and my 
 publisher already complains of the length of 
 this. The dilemmas in which we find ourselves
 
 420 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 
 
 in entangled family settlements — in arranging 
 the affairs of half- ruined men of rank — in 
 winding up a bankrupt estate — in negotiating 
 the compromise of election petitions, or in 
 prosecuting or defending them — in soliciting 
 private hills — in seeking redress for colonial 
 grievances — are so various, and yet so perplex- 
 ing, that each head deserves not only a chapter, 
 but a volume for itself; and though perhaps I 
 have only yet run half my course, I could 
 readily find materials in my own office, without 
 going further, to fill that volume. But my 
 intelligent reader will perceive that all profes- 
 sional difficulties of the kind resolve themselves 
 into that inexperience of human character, as 
 it is exhibited in the intercourse of the busy 
 world, which is common to us all in early life : 
 as soon as we acquire an insight into the 
 workings of passion and of complicated motive, 
 in those with whom we have to deal, it is easy 
 so to regulate our own behaviour as not only 
 to avoid offense, but acquire that sober in- 
 fluence which every solicitor ought to possess 
 with his clients. Some indeed are so head- 
 strong, so irritable, and so impracticable, as to 
 set all management at defiance. Some, again,
 
 IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 421 
 
 are so narrow-minded and illiberal as to pre- 
 sume on the obligation which thej conceive 
 that thej impose by employing us, and will, if 
 not courteously made sensible of their mistake, 
 attempt to extort unbecoming service or sub- 
 mission ultra the value of any costs they pay. 
 This is a failing more especially frequent with 
 those whom I have formerly described as collec- 
 tive clients. When our adverse fortune brino^s 
 us in contact with clients of this description, 
 if we can afford to dispense with them, the 
 sooner we do so the better ; if we cannot, self- 
 respect must not be sacrificed to profit ; for if 
 it is, we shall still fail in extending or strength- 
 ening our connexion. But it is impossible to 
 advise any man how far or in what way he 
 may prudently assert his independence : he 
 must be guided by circumstances, and trust to 
 his own natural address. My object has been 
 to illustrate character, as usually exhibited by 
 clients in their intercourse with us, and thereby 
 to furnish a clue that may extricate any man 
 of common sense from the worse than Daedalian 
 labyrinths of our profession. The longer I 
 live in that profession, however, the more I am 
 convinced that straight forward dealing, and
 
 422 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY. 
 
 honorable consistency of principle, go farther 
 to smootli our patli and preserve us from un- 
 seen dangers, than all the address and all the 
 shrewdness that knowledo;e of the world can 
 give ; and these are qualities to he derived from 
 a higher source than the experimental cautions^ 
 of a stranger, or they will never be acquired at 
 all; I cannot conclude better than with a 
 quotation from one who was no inexperienced 
 teacher, though we rarely take our practical 
 lessons from the pages of ancient philosophy. 
 
 " Nam certe neque intelligentiam concesseris 
 iis, qui proposita honestorum ac turpium via, 
 pejorem sequi malint; neque prudentiam iis, 
 qui in gravissimas, frequenter legum, semper 
 vero malae conscientise, poenas, a semetipsis im- 
 provise rerum exitu inducantur." — Quinctil. 
 
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