THE LAND OF THE SPH ?^t«lS ' '; ',i . MONTBARD \y \^ THE LAND OF THE SPHINX G. MONTBAR^D THE LAND THE SPHINX IVITH OXE HUNDRED AXD EIGHTY-SIX ILLUSTRATIOXS BY THE AUTHOR NEW YORK DODD, MEAD, & COMPANY 1S94 PEE FACE. TTTHE NEVER a biped's bile gets beyond control and his gall- pouch overflows, or his too-excited vital spirits fly tumult- uously to his brain, banging against the walls of his cranium, riotously cavalcadiug amidst the winding coils of his encephalon, he feels the necessity of discharging this bile, forerunner of jaundice ; of emptying the gall-pouch that is corroding his tissues and souring his temper ; of opening a safety-valve for the vapour of his seething brain, and freeing it of all dross. The manifestation of this intel- lectual epuratiou is to be found in the tangible form of a book, an exudatory by means of which the patient displays, either diluted or condensed, in an indefinite number of pages, the morbid state of his brain, beset by the relentless irritation of acrid, pernicious, and abundant secretions. The invalid is saved, but the unfortunate public who receive the deleterious shower are attacked : they catch the disease ; the bacilli develop a million-fold in the fungus of imagination, stubbornly pursuing their detestable work, and the epidemic rages everywhere. I have been bitten by the terrible animalcule, and in my turn I save myself by an emission of my bile! When acting thus one is so thoroughly conscious of committing an aggressive action against society, of being a disturber of human yj TEEFACE. stupidity, that one instinctively feels, unless one is absolutely per- verted, the necessity of excusing one's self, of uttering one's mea culpa in the form of a very anodyne and extremely sweet preface, which the public, that old blase, as artful as a Ked Indian, never reads ! I have too much respect for routine not to steal a march upon readers whilst performing my little act of sly contrition— and the public would not be the public if it departed from its laudable habit of skipping the hypocritical preface. Well, I was at Marseilles, and already the symptoms of the malady, the paroxysm of which was to produce the lucubration occasioning this preface, were showing themselves with vigorous intensity : my gall was fermenting like a vat of new wine ; the impetuous ebb and flow of rebellious bile and uncontrollable blood rose and fell at their own sweet will ! My disease was at its height. One day I was sadly sauntering in the shade of the trees of the Cours Belzuuce, digesting with difficulty an indefinable bouillabaisse. After a while I stopped to listen to a quack who was making a remarkable speech in the midst of the silence of a gaping crowd. Amongst other marvellous cures performed by this learned disciple of ^sculapius, and related by him, there was one which particularly struck me, owing to its prodigious originality. In narrating this incredible event I cannot do better than textually quote that portion of the eminent doctor's oration, of which I scrupulously noted the terms ; so here it is : — " In Africa, I was at Cairo, when they brought me a yonng girl who, fifteen years before, had fallen asleep on the banks of the Nile ; a little crocodile had crawled into her mouth, then into her stomach, and finally into her intestines, where, ever since, it had been causing the most frightful agony. What did I do ? Gentlemen, I had this young person laid on her back, I rubbed her well with my balm, and at that very instant the whole body PREFACE. Vll oponed to the extent of three feet, and those present beheld, with as much awe as admiration, a monstrous crocodile issue from the body of that unfortunate young person. Gentlemen, in assuring you that it was fifteen feet long, and as big as a yearling pig, I am guilty of no exaggeration." This was a revelation. These words produced a deep and in- effaceable impression on me, and settled the choice of the locality where the phases of my malady should develop, the frame wherein I would present the fruit of my labours to the puldic. From that moment I was dying to see the country where the crocodiles, by an inevitable law of atavism, take board and lodging in the bodies of the inhabitants, and grow and fatten there as did formerly the gods in the bodies of the sacred animals, and then clear out witli such amazing facility I I started for Egypt. Since then I have overrun the valley of the Nile ; I here describe its strange and varied aspects, dwelling complaisantly upon the present, plunging occasionally into the sombre recesses of the past, in order to stir up its venerable cumulations and bring to the surface a few amusing bubbles, with the mufiied echoes of vanished times I Having travelled a great deal, and read numbers of historians, modern ones especially, I have acquired an incontestable skill in the art of relating fables, of distorting facts, and of arranging them to suit the exigencies of my mood or the requirements of the moment — the reader will easily perceive this. I have added a few thousand years to the vertiginous number of centuries so generously accorded to Egypt, thereby following in the wake of her ancient and venerable priests, those circumspect gossips, as cunning as the cleverest of quacks, who told such yarns to the credulous Greeks who came to interview them. Viii PREFACE. I have admired the beanty and proportions of the lineaments of the Sphinx, that monster which possesses nothing remarkable but its size, less to render homage to truth than from deference to the strange enthusiasm of its irrepressible admirers. For the same reason I have enlarged upon the praise awarded to the temple of this same Sphinx, a sort of slightly rough-hewn cavern of troglodytes, I have stood enraptured in the presence of the imposing masses of the Pyramids, Cheops especially, the cuneiform character of which makes it, by right, the grandest thing in Egypt— because one is expected to be suffocated with admiration before those "■ barbarisms in hewn stone." I have described the elegant profile of the obelisks, those stupid big landmarks, those pales of Titans. I have noted without a smile the " robust delicacy " of the temples of the valley of the Nile, the genius of their architects, the prodigious art which presided at their erection, while I felt convinced that this debauchery of limestone congestions and piling up, on a large scale, of heavy and unsightly edifices proved absolutely nothing in favour of the art or the genius of their pretentious architects. On the contrary I The glaring ornamentation of the tombs of the Valley of Kings, a description of twopenny coloured pictures on stucco fixed to miles of walls, did not please me ; and the bats which swarm in those funereal tunnels annoyed me immensely. Nevertheless I did not fail to " tremble beneath the breath of memories of the past," with a few romantic Cookites who had poked themselves m there, and who, in spite of their respectable emotion, were extremely anxious to get out again. I have not missed bestowing the epithet " sublime " upon those stiff and gigantic statues of gods, which are in magnitude what a PEEFACE. 3X Chinese magot is in exignitv. I have showered praise on the isle of Phila?, that pearl of Egypt, which, after all, excepting the hypathral temple with its three meagre palm trees, is only a mass of rnbbish scorched by the sun, of gutted temples and fallen columns. The cataract, that grandiose result of the freak of an angry god, recalled to my mind Shakespeare's i)lay. Much Ado about Nothing ! The burlesques of the incoherent theogony of Egypt, its ridiculous menagerie, reminded me of the inmates of the Zoological Gardens and the masquerades of Mid-Lent, but in no wise predisposed me to believe, like a great Egyptologist, that " at the summit of the Egyptian Pantheon towers a unique, immortal, uncreate, and invisible god hidden in the inaccessible recesses of being " ; for, if anything does tower there, it can only be the memory of the immense and cruel madness of those who conceived the laughable silhouettes of this fantastic Olympus, audaciously casting as food to the imbecile imagination of ignorant mankind those headless and tailless myths, which so long misled bewildered humanity in its search after truth. I have generously alluded to the wisdom of the "most grateful of all men," but regretted tliat, instead of bequeathing us indirectly that famous wisdom from which we are now seeking to be freed, they did not preserve it for their own private use ; this would no doubt have suited them remarkably well, and us even better I I have extolled the Nile, boasted of the " limpidity " of its muddy waters swarming with insects and fucus, and the "variety" which occurs in the dispiriting uniformity of its banks, where from time to time are washed up the swollen carcass of a Soudanese negro, an Arab, or a camel covered with bluish sores. Cook the Great, the Tourists' Cook, the Circular Cook, that enterprising manager of universal locomotion, King of Upper and Lower Egypt, Prince of the Nile River and its intelligent sliowman, would never have forgiven X PKEFACE. me for inconsiderately attacking its fluvial fame, and disturbing the flow of his Pactolus I To bathe in its waters is, it appears, the most agreeable of pleasures. I speak from hearsay, never having done so myself, for fear that a facetious and greedy monster might have played me the same trick as the one which was so fatal to Osiris and made Isis for ever inconsolable. I found Nile water a delicious beverage ; and when one remembers that the Princesses of the blood of the Ptolemies, wedded to foreigners, had it sent them to far-off countries, I should be very much looked down upon were I to state here that the water is brackish, that it produces pimples on the skin, especially during the first days of flood, and that the ancient Egyptians never drank it unmixed. The Xile without crocodiles would not be the Nile ; so, to avoid being accused of having confused this divine river with some €ommon stream, as a certain general did the Seine with the Marne, I have mentioned crocodiles. In fact, I saw — one ! as big as a lizard, and hanging to a string held by an Arab, who wished to sell it to me for twenty piastres. I had the tact to refuse, not wishing to deprive the great river of the only crocodile it possessed from Cairo to the first cataract; and from a certain fear too lest, yielding to the temptation of leading it away with me by a string, Typhon, finding himself insufficiently housed in that narrow cara- pace, should seek to change his residence and take up his abode in my far more ample person ; the gods are so capricious and so fond of comfort I Dreading extremely to be despised by Orientalists orientalising, I stood enraptured in presence of the worm-eaten marvels of unstable equilibrium of Arabian art ; at the pleasing imagination displayed in its geometrical interlacings, at the surprises of its PREFACE. XI arabesques, and at the grace of its ornamentation — not daring to own that these edifices resemble wedding-cakes, the interlacing pattern a tangled caligraphy, and the ornamentation is the gaudiest of daubs. I have commended the picturesque appearance of an Arab's rags, swarming with vermin ; the purity of the atmosphere of the bazaars, reeking with the smell of burnt incense, rose-water, and the dung of asses and dromedaries, combined with the unsavoury efliuvia of all kinds of commodities piled up in stalls a few feet square, and with the penetrating goatish odour of the fellaheen. I have pitied these last, because every one pities them, especially those amiable philanthropists who, in Egypt, diligently tickle their backs with the courbash. I would not criticise the gait of the worthy asses of Cairo, those cabs of the East, but yet I cannot deny the fact that after half an hour's ride one's person feels extremely sore ; and lucky is the rider who has not been thrown, once or several times, by a jerk of the back, as sudden as unexpected, which is quite peculiar to these steeds. The camels, which we leave unnoticed at home, interest us enormously so soon as we set foot in the East ; so I have paid the tribute of admiration due to the ship of the desert, with its double motion of pitching and rolling, which, when you are seated on its hump, gives you a similar feeling to that which you experience on the deck of the Dover and Calais steamer, when your stomach is not quite as it should be. In order not to alarm the interesting idlers, the well-to-do people plunged in the delights of the Luxor Hotel, that Capua of Upper Egypt, I have exaggerated the salubrity of this land of — sun- stroke, dysentery, ophthalmia, intermittent fever, bubos, frightful hypertrojihy, and tuberculous leprosy ; this land infested with reptiles, scorj)ions, flies, and mosquitoes. Xii PREFACE. Fearing to turu away from the journey persons with delicate tympanums and civilised ears, I have been silent respecting the eternal and excruciating grinding sound of the sakiehs, the shrill complaints of the rebecks, the monotonous hum of the daraboukas, the piercing and snuflaing voices of Arab virtuosi, the prolonged and discordant bellowing of the trombones of their orchestras, the unbearable cacophony of the Khedive's band. I would not deprive Gerome of his illusions by declaring that the Almehs sheltered at Esneh are now frightful jades, old and ugly, wearing boots down at heel and a kind of flowered dressing- gown of glaring colour, who fuddle themselves with vermouth ; or bv tellino- him that the sword-dance and the dance of the wasp are now no more than a bad and very repugnant cancan, which takes place on the beaten earth floor of a noxious hovel, lighted by a candle stuck in the neck of an empty bottle placed on a rickety deal table. It is even much against my wish that I am obliged to state that no Arab with the least claim to respectability ever sets foot in these low filthy taverns, and that they are only frequented by a few soft-brained tourists taken there by smart dragomans, who are on the best of terms with the " friends of these ladies." I must admit, alas ! in spite of all my respect for our venerable ancestress, that the whole of the vaunted wisdom of Egypt is resumed at the present day in the immodest acrobatic performances of Karagueuz, her science in the juggleries of her Psylli, her religion in the epileptic convulsions of impure santons, the waltzing of a band of dancing dervishes and the hideous distortions of their howling companions. Her imposing ceremonies of by-gone times have given way to the feast of the Return of the Carpet, a pretext for a priest drunk with hasheesh to trample under his horse's hoofs the fanatic faithful ; and to the bloody anniversary of the PREFACE. Xlll death of Hussein and Hassan, when another variety of bigots take delight in hacking themselves and transpiercing their cheeks, to the accompaniment of most horrible yells. I have treated tourists in general, and English tourists in particular, rather badly, because it is understood that an English tourist, who, in reality, is very well-behaved and much less annoying than others, should be nevertheless described as a most disagreeable person. It is true that I cpiite lost my temper with a fellow-countryman who persistently bawled out at the top of his voice some music-hall choruses in the hypogeum of Thebes ; and that I saw a German coolly break and carry off some bits of the Beni-Hassan mouldings as though they had merely been pieces of common work ; and if some very curious specimens of painting on stucco, at the temple of Abydos, did not disappear into the secret receptacles of this same Teuton, it was owing to the energetic intervention of English tourists, indignant at an act of vandalism as barefaced as it was barbaric. TO THE EEADEE. fJ^JfE most salient feature of that which 'precedes, and of that which is about to follow, will he the evident discursiveness tvhich jjre- tails from one end to the other : it ivould he no mistake to behold in this the faithful likeness of the state of my mind, the immediate consequence of that of our crazy century, consumed hy a colossal and incurable athumia. It will be observed that I have often icandered away from my subject ; this has happened to me each time the sid)ject annoyed me, and I returned to it so soon as the digressions, ichich had led me astray, themselves commenced to bother me, a practice due to the habit of playiiiy truant acquired in my school-boy days ! An absurd and precocious liking for noise, changing in course of time to an intemperate taste for the big drum, whose mighty rolls procured me indescribable delight, has clung to me in my mature age and exercised regrettable influence on my literary style. Hence the sonorous rumbling of some of my periods, as ew.pty as the insides of those jcorthy asses' skins, the delight of my childhood, the favourites of my youth ! I have indulged, in many Latin quotations, not for the purpose of laying clfiim to an erudition I do not possess, hut from a mere instinct of the barbarian fascinated by the unknown, and an irresistible attraction for the mysterious, an invincible 'propensity for uttering enigmatical words .' I must have had some sjyeakers of oracles or Pythonesses among my ajictstors. I am obliged, however, to admit Xvi TO THE EEADEE. that I understand the meaning of some of m>j quotations, those ivhich I learnt by heart at college, but 1 must own that they please me infinitely less than the others, the meaning of which escapes me; for me they have no longer the attraction of forbidden fruit ; they are, as to Eve after the apple, without the relish of a taste of risk. Every time that I could, I have disguised truth ivith a veil. It smacks too much of a fable, truth stark naked issuing from a well, of all places in the loorld. To begin with, it is indecent, and besides it gives one the shivers. The Athenians, those loitty icags, the ingenious inventors of this piquant allegory, but rarely brought her out of her humid dwelling, preferring to let her cool her heels there, icith quite Hellenic discourtesy and absolute loant of gallantry. The Greeks were right, and it is not I who would give her a hand to help her to come up, as I consider it very ill-bred to let people know tchat you think of them, and extremely disagreeable to be told the truth about oneself. I have quoted, according to circumstances, all the well-known yarns — those inoffensive old stereotypes which lulled us to sleep in our infancy with their stately and, monotonous lullaby ; and, out of love for the jncturesque, I have respected the legend of Cleopatra stung by an asp, instead of displaying the bad taste of stating, on the authority of Baron Larrey, of the French Academy, that the seductive heroine put an end to her existence by means of a bushel of charcoal, just like a simple Parisian grisette. Through an excess of modesty, lohich tcill be readily appreciated, I have rarely believed what I have written, considering it most reprehensible to have too much confidence in oneself. It icould, in- deed, be too great impertinence if, when passing our existence in conjuring up the icildest illusions, in revelling in the most deceptive chimeras, we carried our simplicity so far as to believe in those illusio)is, our ingenuousness to the point of giving a body to those TO THE KE-U)ER. XVll chimeras, our stupidity to the extent of becoming ourselves dupes of the artifices of our undisciplined minds, and if to cap all, ice had the singularhj overweening pretension of imposing our belief en others. I have been rather lavish icith card, the spice of inodern literature, more anxious in its Byzantine refinement suitably to chisel out phrases, tastefully to encrust carefully selected words upon them, and to listen rapturously to the music of an empty and. dis- creetly sonorous prose, than to find lodging for an idea in this dazzling palace of verbiage. Amongst other faults which I possess, and ichich I will not mention here, lulling myself with the sweet illusion that they will perhaps escape the perspicacity of the reader, is that of being extremely talkative. This is unfortunately a propensity of which 1 have never tried and never wished to free myself ; and one which, by long dwelling with me, tolerated at first, indispensable afterwards, has ended by making itself quite at home with me for good, and by becoming altogether part of the household. I beg the reader to show for this untoward habit some of the indulgence I have displayed towards him, without, however, icishing that the ugly xveed should acclimatise itself with him as it has done tcith me, where the soil was perhaps more suitable for its self-cultivation ! COXCEENIXG THE ILLUSTEATIONS. WJien expressions have failed me for withdrawing becomingly from the inextricable tangle of my ideas, I have had recourse to drawing: hence the number of 'pictures which bedizen this booh, and which are deserving of just the same amount of confidence as the text, the pencil having only accentuated and finished the fantastic vagaries of the pen. b A GEEETING TO GOOD OLD EGYPT, THE GRANDMOTHER OF NATIONS. /^ EGYPT, "Gift of the Nile!" Land of Osiris! TIiou Laud ^^ of Pharaohs and fellaheen, of the courbash and baksheesh, of the lotus and papyrus, of beetles and crocodiles, of the Book of the Dead and mausoleums, of ophthalmia and elephantiasis I Sacred charnel-house! Holy valley of everlasting tears and regrets! Venerable Egypt, who restest slumbering in thy innumerable mummies, iu the gigantic void of thy colossal and useless edifices, in the undecipherable secret of thy hieroglyphics, — I salute thee ! Glory to thee ! mysterious Ancestress of the world ; indefatigable Seeker after sublime nonsense ; questioning death to understand life ; elaborating, whilst meditating amidst thy deserts during thousands of centuries, the elements of the human idea ; a laborious parturition which cost thee thy existence, and bestowed on us that superb civilisation of which we, thy sickly grand-nephews, are dying, incapable of bearing the strength of its powerful effluvia ! XX A GREETING TO GOOD OLD EGYPT. Glory to thee I mother of justice, kying down with Thoth, in the hermetic Looks, the bases of science, that vertiginous accumu- hxtion of hypotheses ; the A B C of wisdom, that of law and con- ventional civility in nations ; the principles of justice, "that sovereign extravagance, that generous imbecility." Glory to thee I generative mother of the gods, insane with genius, whose i^henomenal brain invented that mournful and picturesque fancy of the rite of tlie judgment of the dead ; audacious mystical lore, establishing at the same time the profound principle of palin- genesis and the unfathomable stupidity of the human race ; giving hirth to the dogma of metensomatosis, and to that monstrous and enormous jDautheon, an insoluble enigma, so irritating to the anxious and unhealthy curiosity of our declining century, feverishly tracing all back to its origin, bent upon the impossible reconstruction of an uncertain past. Glory to thee ! who, for the greater jubilation of inept tourists, lost in amazement in the presence of thy stifF-limbed idols, didst carve the strange images of thy apocalyptic divinities in the granite and the limestone of thy mountains ; bestrewing thy plains with the temples of Titans, chiselling on their massive sides thy interminable hieroglyphics ; erecting with perfect art and prodigious science thy hermetic obelisks, thy fantastic pyramids, thy marvellous sphinx, thy labyrinth, that stupendous feat of thy architects ; digging out of the Arabian and Libyan rocks those gloomy recesses, those funereal hypogeums with their walls illuminated like the leaves of an old missal of the middle ages ; shedding with unheard-of jirofusion that infinite multitude of tiresome mastabas ; executing with in- conceivable sagacity and surprising skill more gigantic works than now, after five thousand years, we take in hand timidly and complete with effort ! Glory to thee, illustrious vanquished I For a Power that is A GREETING TO GOOD OLD EGYPT. XXI mightier has mastered thee, thee the dread subduer ! It has destroyed thy celestial menagerie, strangled thy gods, dispersed their Theraj^entje I May they rest in peace in Amenti, to the Occident, beyond the lake of Osiris ; thy sacred animals, those homes of the souls of thy divinities, those hairy, feathery, or scaly personifications of the attributes of the primordial might, of the sole uncreated god, begetting and bringing forth himself in infinite space ! Gloria victis ! Glory to you ! holy and revered beasts, habitations of the gods ! Enviable cow, who concealeth in thy broad flanks the soul of Isis-Athor, the gloomy Venus, with the pale golden skin, the pure oval face, the straight profile, the long velvety eyes ; ardent and in- consolable spouse of Osiris ; unknown and impenetrable, mother and substance of that which is, mysterious source of all things I Goose of the Nile, within whom resides Seb, the layer of the ^g% of the world, the matter containing the germs of life ; husband of Nout, father of Ea I Scarabfeus, ornament of the brow ; lion with the luminous hide, who art the habitation of the cabiric Phtah, of the demiuro^e, the lord of wisdom, the light which accomjjlishes all things I Black ibis of Ethiopia and cynocephalus with the azure rump, ye. the two habitations of Thoth Trismegistus, the hierogrammatist, the speaking column, the living verb, the guide of souls, showman of the shades, prince of undertakers ! Serpent coiled about thyself, who containest the "absolute," the divine breath, and Knouphis the androgynus, who himself fabricates the generative mother of the gods I Jackal with the sharp muzzle, temporary lodging of Anubis, latrant, guardian of tombs, watcher of mummies ! Bennou, with the gold and crimson plumage, friend of Osiris, Xxii A GREETING TO GOOD OLD EGYPT. the god of Abydos, the lord of Ameuti, the uoctiirual suu, the g-ood intent, for ever fructifying Isis ! Lumbering hippopotamus, habitation of Set, the spirit of evil, the enemy of Osiris ! Sacred hawk with the lightning wing, emblem of the solar gods, of the sun in his radiant course of Ra, erect amidst his crew of Akhimou-Ordou and Akhimou-Sekou, with a Hor at the helm and a Hor at the prow, in the sacred boat which roams, enveloped in the coils of the serpent Mehen, upon the celestial Ouer-ness I Great tawny vulture, symbol of maternity, dedicated to Mauth, the mother-goddess, in whose womb was self-conceived Ammon-Ra, the bull, the generating principle above all, to whom the ram and the cerastes are consecrated ! Cat and lioness of Sacht-the-Great, the cherished friend of Phtah, the creative and dissolving power, she who purifies and she who punishes ! Famous Apis of Memphis, born of a celestial ray ! Mnevis of Heliopolis, with the black and bristling hair ! Onuphis of Her- monthis, the good genius ! Peaceful and preposterous receptacles of divine incarnations ! Winged Uraeus, with the venom-swollen throat, who circlest the heads of gods and kings, terrible symbol of their inexorable sovereignty ! And ye : lascivious goat of Mendes ! Wolf of Syout ! Ichneumon of Heracleopolis ! Crocodile of the Arsinoit nome I Owl of Saiis ! Falcon and shrew of Butos I Mouse and dove of Isis ! Ye, sacred fishes : seal, eel, carp, phallivorous oxyrinx, honoured throughout Egypt ! Ye, garlic and onion, respectable vegetables, by whom the people swore ! A GREETING TO GOOD OLD EGYPT. XXIU Thon, palm tree almost human, all tremulous with love, who moanest at touch of the knife I Acacia, whose trunk secreted Osiris I Persa?a of Isis, the guardian of hearts ! Your reign is for ever at an end, fantastic medley of beasts, trees, plants, vegetables, incongruous types of a complicated theogony ; disjoined links of the most admirable web of extravagant mystifica- tions the human mind ever conceived I Grave and solemn throng of priests, with shaven heads and eye- brows, with long garments made of flax, cease your hyssop-scented lustrations ; your gods are dead ! the boat of Isis has cajjsized I Dreaded prophets, bespangled with collars of gold, laden with charms, you will never again consult the entrails of the victims, or study the course of the planets, to learn and jjredict the future I Hierostolites, you will no longer deck the images of the gods I Learned Arpedonaptes, pluck off the plumes which adorn your heads ; the ink of your canon is dried up, your calamus is broken ; you will no more carry your sacred tablets covered with hieroglyphics ; you will no more indite your funereal rituals I Horoscopists, cast away your hour-glasses and your palms ; yon will never again draw conclusions from the movements of the sacred beasts I Hieropsaltes, no more will you chant the hymns of the gods and the rules of life for kings, taught of Hermes, while accompanying yourselves on golden sistra ! Sphragistes, you will no more place your seal on the victim destined to the sacrifice I Pastophores, guardians of the temples, you will no more bear the baris of Isis, or the beds, or the utensils of assistance ! Melanephores, the black veil of Isis is rent ; you will place it no more on your shoulders I Xxiv A GREETING TO GOOD OLD EGYPT. Comastes, you will no more preside at the banquets on fete days ! Neophores and Zacores, you will no more have to watch over the objects of worship— there is no more worship ! Undertakers, your ministry is useless ! Designator, thou wilt no longer mark on the left side of the dead the piece of flesh that must be removed ! Operator, thou wilt no longer use thy Ethiopian stone to make the incision indicated by thy colleague, and thou wilt no more have to fly amidst the curses of the crowd, pursued by the stones of the bystanders ! Embalmers, leave there the natron, the palm wine, the cedar gum, the myrrh, the cinnamon, and the perfumes of all sorts with which you anoint the dead, the bandages you wind round them, the brushes and colours that serve to adorn their coffins. Your part is played ; Anubis is no more. We no longer make mummies ; we render to the eartli what belongs to the earth I And you, inhabitants of both Egypts, you will eat no more honey or figs on the day of the feast of Thoth ; you will no longer celebrate, in the month of Pao-phi, the feasts of the pregnancy of Isis and of the stick of the sun ; in that of Athyr, that of the loss of Osiris ; at the solstice of winter, anniversary of the birth of Harpocrates, you will no more give the first-fruits of your gardens, and you will no more lead a cow seven times in succession round the temple, in honour of the search for Osiris ; in the month of Tybi, in memory of the return of Isis from Phenicia, you will no longer ofier her cakes, bearing the figure of a hippopotamus in chains, symbol of Typhon vanquished by Isis and Horus ; no more will you celebrate, on the first day of Phamenoth, the entrance of Osiris into the moon ; and, at the Pamylies, you will no longer carry the representation of the triple phallus, in honour of the A GREETING TO GOOD OLD EGYPT. XXV delivery of Isis ; in Pharmnti you will not weep over bundles of corn while invoking Isis ; in Payni you will not attend the sacrifices with cakes bearing the effigy of a bound ass, telling each other " not to give food to the ass," " not to wear golden rings " ; on the 12th of the same month, the day of the feast of the inunda- tion, you will no more offer the Nile his magnificently adorned bride ; the tear of Isis, the solitary droj) of dew, which purifies and drives away all corruption, will not fall on that night, or ever again, for the eyes of Isis are closed for evermore ! No longer, on the 30th of Epiphi, will there be the feast of the eyes of Horns ; and no more, on the last day of the year, in Messori, will you present the first vegetables to Harpamtes ! The time for feasts is over ! The era of prolonged mourning commences. And you, redoubtable and resplendent Pharaohs, with the pschent surmounted by the threatening Urffius, your protracted slumber has been disturbed; they have uncovered you, as quarrymen at times disclose by a blow of the pickaxe some belated toad, who has remained a prisoner lor a couple of centuries in his cell of hard stone. They have violated the secret of your sepulchres ! Your mounds of blocks of stone, the mystery of your hypogeums, the silence of your hieroglyphs, have not defended your royal remains against the avidity of the conquerors of the Nile valley, the disrespectful and indiscreet curiosity of learned Europe. They have discovered the obstructed or walled-up entrances to your last dwelling-places, penetrated within your mortuary chambers, raised the heavy covers of your basalt or porphyry sarcophagi, burst open your cedar or sycamore coffins, four within one another, torn the masks from your mummies, plucked off their ornaments ; profane hands have untied the bandages which imprisoned your stifiened limbs ! XXVI A GREETING TO GOOD OLD EGYPT. The lynx eyes of Egyptologists have found the key to your mysterious hieroglyphs and translated the long rolls of prayers of your papyrus ! Grave men examine you with the magnifying glass, analyse parts of your sacred personalities ; they measure your facial angle, the length of your nasal organ, the form of your skull ; they discuss your authenticity between a pinch of snuff and a cigarette; they send your mummies about in a most irreverential way ; the distrustful custom-house rummages in the cases containing them, as they pass, in fear lest the remains of Rameses or Sesostris, forwarded carriage paid, should serve as a pretext for smuggling in a quart of brandy or a box of regalias ! Cook or Barnum exhibits you at reduced prices to the snobs of Great Britain, the idlers of Paris, the Yankees of the Xew TTorld, the idiots of all countries ! You are simjjly an object of curiosity and commerce ; money is made by retailing you to tourists, colours by subjecting your swaddled-up limbs to chemical treatment. And the great tramplers of people under foot, they who occupied so much room in the world, now held within a modest little zinc tube, ticketed " Mummies' Blacks," have for sarcophagus the colour-box of a mocking canvas-dauber, and serve to sketch out some mad con- ceptions of the studio. Your bodies exhibited in the glass cases of our museums serve to astonish nursemaids and Tommy Atkins ; it is a thing, a curio, a souvenir of Egypt ! People place one of your hands, a middle finger, or your great toe on a row of shelves between a Chinese magot and a Japanese vase! You are old furniture, numbered, classed, very well catalogued, frightfully messed about by the descendants of those same Tamahou with white skins, blue eyes, our ancestors, represented six thousand years ago by your scribes on the walls of your palaces, with arms A GREETING TO GOOD OLD EGYPT. XXVI bound; heads laid beneath the heel of the Pharaohs, who were the great conciilcators of nations. . . . Sic transit gloria mundi ! The fanatic Theophilus has cast down the tottering edifice of your worn-out Pantheon : the rotten statue, full of rats, of Serapis, the last incarnation of Osiris, outcome of the supreme convulsion of your agonising worship, has been broken by blows of the hatchet by a legionary of Theodosius ; its remains, set on fire, flamed amidst the hooting of the Nazarenes, and even, alas ! amidst the bitter sarcasms of its worshij^pers, exasperated at the complete inability of their god to defend itself! Thy gods are dead. Dolorosa mater ! Poor Egypt ! congealed in thy hieratic majesty : eagles mute on the shoulders of thy colossi, which are cracking ; vultures repose on the ruptured sum- mits of thy monuments ; the screech-owl lodges in the cornerless capitals of thy temples ; the jackal prowls by night among the shattered columns of thy hyjsostyle halls ; the hideous horned snake crawls beneath the ruins of thy fallen pylons ; the colossi of Memnon, son of the Aurora, no more address their hymns to the rising sun ; thy masterpieces are disappearing in crumbs in the pockets of tourists ; thy uprooted obelisks are transplanted to all the capitals of the world. Thy grand monuments, which marked the stages of thy prodigious civilisation, disappear little by little, buried beneath the desert sand — a moving winding-sheet, which slowly spreads itself over thy past glories ! I)e prqfandis ! Old Egypt has passed into the shadow of death. CONTENTS CHAPTER I. PAGE En route. — Corsica. — Cook and Son's living parcels. — Those rogues of note-books. — Secret warfare between the Cookitesand the unlabelled.^The authentic Baronet. — International confusion. — Where the reader makes the acquaintance of Jacques and his friend Onesime Coquillard. — A jivopos of frontiers. — The consequence of having studied geography in France. — Departure. — What Jacques, followed by Onesime, wished to see in Egypt. — Onesime. — Gaiety in the forecastle ; frightful dulness at the stern 1 CHAPTER II. The silhouette of EeptiUus. — Where it is seen that Jacques has a spite against the Germans and a grain of ill-temper against the Italians. — Outburst of ultra- patriotism on his part, complicated by excessive socialism. — Exhibition of principles. — Dismay of Onesime ; his horror of the cataclysm . . . .16 CHAPTER in. The island of Elba. — Monte Cristo. — Caprera. — Jacques and Onesime conquer the hearts of the sailors of the Said. — Naples. — More about the intimate and personal emotions of the Cookites. — The deck is invaded. — A study of muscles. — Native concerts. — The stenches of Naples. — Italy sells her family souvenirs.— Stromboli. — Charybdis and Scylla. — Mount Etna.— Onesime becomes gloomy. — "Us" at the piano; prodigious success. — Friendly and saltatory jollification. — General reconciliation ; gaiety everywhere. — Sunset. — Alexandria ! .31 CHAPTER IV. General hustle. — They land. — Onesime, a Count in spite of himself, and Jacques, very much puzzled, are conducted to the hotel.— Double explanation. — Jacques is convinced of the excellent quality of Nile water. — They make the acquaintance of Doctor Alan Keradec. — Satisfaction, disappointment, and anger of Reptilius. — Rough sketch of history. — Jacques makes an error in a page and " Us " in a volume. — Two erudites fall out. — Onesime is devoured by mosquitoes . . .10 xxix XXX CONTENTS. CHAPTER Y PAGE Onesime's despair.— A turn in the city. — The Consuls' Square. — Jacques is dazzled ; Onesime is surprised at it. — Through the Arab town.^ — The island of Pharos and its old lighthouse. — Onesime's distress. — He has had enough of this steeplechase. — Alexandrian society. — Characters in the streets. — A few words about ancient Alexandria. — The Faubourg of Karmous. — Picturesque misery. — Pompey's Pillar. — Alan K^radec and Jacques find Onesime at the Cafe Rossini . . . .61 CHAPTER YI. The Grand Port. — Alan Keradec invokes the past. — Onesime's virtuous indignation. — What he thinks of Cleopatra and her Needles. — Nocturnal run through Alexandria. — A trip to Piamleh. — Onesime and his donkey. — Across the fields. — The Mahmoudieh Canal promenade. — Its gardens. — The canal banks. — Keradec, Jacques, and Onesime take tickets for Cairo 8i CHAPTER YII. Desert sand in the carriage. — Lake Mareotis. — The Delta country. — Kafr-Dawr. — Baksheesh. — Damanhour. — Tcl-el-Barout. — Kafr-el-Zaiat. — Tantah. — The car- riage is invaded. — Onesime's sufEei-ing and regret. — Benha-'l-Assal. — The travellers breathe a little. — Touck. — The Pyramids! — The Mokattam.— Khalioub. — Cairo. — The arrival. — A turn in the Esbekieh. — Onesime imagines himself in Paris. — The crocodile quarter. — By the light of the moon. — Onesime sulks with Osiris. — His tenderness for Isis 118 CHAPTER Yin. Monsieur de Lesseps. — Telegraph and Gambetta. — Bismarck is beaten by Monsieur de Lesseps. — In the garden of Matarieh.- — A picnic. — The obelisk of Usertesen I. and the Virgin's Tree. — The battle of Heliopolis. — Retrospective glance at Heliopolis. — Onesime considers that the ancient Egyptians were madmen and the Greeks cracked with genius. — He will not admit that Greek civilisation was the offspring of that of the Egyptians.— He reproaches the learned with having at times too much science. — The Egyptians invented powder. — Causes of the greatness and decline of the Egyptians. — The petrified forest. — What Onesime thinks of hypotheses. — Jacques a deicide. — Keradec pretends that if God hides his abode it is because he desires to preserve his incognito, and that it would be wrong to seek to disturb him, — Different hypotheses upon the petrified forest : that of One sime. — A dash into the desert. — Return to Cairo 13/ CONTENTS. XXXI CHAPTER IX. On the road to Ghizeh. — The Pyramids in the distance. — Escorted by the Arabs.— At the foot of the Pyramids. — Carried off by the Bedouins. — Jacques and Onesime ascend Khout-the-Brilliant. — On the top of the Pyramid. — The descent. — Onesime's annoyances. — He meets old acquaintances of the Saul. — I/Ura imiros. — Keradec"s opinion of the monuments of the Pharaohs. — Onesime's horror of the latter. — Hypotheses as to the use and object of the Pyramids. — What history and legend say of them. — Onesime's theories of these regular stone-faced tumuli and their authors. — History of Youssoufs hand. — Digression on the descendants of the Crusaders. — Her-the-Superior. — Cook and Son's packages. — Ur't-the-Great. — The watchman of the desert. — In the shadow of the Sphinx. — Trufiaes and Clos-Vougeot.— To the health of Osiris 1— The Temple of the Sphinx. — Through the Mastabas.— At the hotel 16:> CHAPTER X. Onesime thanks his landlord. — How the wise are asses and the asses wise. — The Mosque of Hassan.— Neglect of the Arabs.— The Mosque of Touloun.— The legend of its minaret. — Onesime admires the Sultans and their mosques as much as he abhors the Pharaohs and their monuments. — His horror of religions and their ministers. — Oratorical explosion. — Onesime's jJoUlce verso. — There ! — Poly- andry among the Arabs. — The Citadel.— Joseph's Well. — Ontsime will not visit it. — The Mosque of Mahomet Ali. — Ontsime sleeps there on his feet. — Sudden awakening.— How Jacques saved his life. — Sunset 204 CHAPTER XI. Onesime's gallantry almost gets him into trouble ; Hassan saves his equilibrium. — Among the palms of Bedrasheen.— Local silhouettes.— The Colossus of Eameses II. — A chaos of ruins. — Onesime steals away. — Jacques and Keradec go forward. — Sakarah. — A negro dance. — Round the town.— Picturesque scenes. — Dealers in antiquities. — Meeting a saint, — In the desert. — The Step Pyramid.- Onesime calls it a mischievous gossip. — The ^lastaba of El-Pharaoun. — The tomb of Ti. — Where one sees that the fellah was made for the stick, and vice ver-sd. — From the dweller in caves to him on the Boulevards. — How we return to the age of polished stone. — Digressions on Egyptian art. — Description of the bas-reliefs of the tomb of Ti, and what Onesime thinks of them. — Mariette's house . . . 231 XXXii CONTENTS. CHAPTER XII. PAGE Chawazi and Awalin.— Their exile to Esneh.— Memphis.— Who Menes was.— Whence came the Ancient Egyptians .'—The god Phtah and his temple.— The bull Apis and the honours rendered to him.— Onesime an augur. — He beats all the prophets and disentangles the oracles. — His explanation of the signs of the bull Apis. — A compromising moonbeam. — On sacrifices and the victims. — Effect of the sun. — Greatness and decline of the city of Menes.— Marietta's discovery. — Jacques and Keradec explore the Serapeum. — Onesime reproaches them with troubling by their noisy visits poor mummies who only want to rest in peace. — A breakneck gallop to Bedrasheen station 257 CHAPTER XIII. Keradec leaves for Upper Egypt. — Jacques introduces him, on the steamer, to Sir Hugh and Miss Madge. — The Doctor is disagreeably surprised to meet Reptilius on board. — A trip to the Bazaars. — The Mouski, the Khan-el-Khalil. the Nahassin, the Serougieh, the Souk-es-SuUah, El-Ghourieh. — Along the Khalig. — What remains of El-Asker and of El-Katai'. — The legend of the Tent of Amrou. — Near the aqueduct, — filthy feast. — Old Cairo. — Its port. — With the Howling Dervishes. — Their Mosque. — An ebony-coloured maniac, a fantastical Zikr. — In the Coptic town. — The Church of Sidi Miriam. — The Mosque of Amrou. — The legend of Omar ............. 281 CHAPTER XIV. The Bazaars again. — The way Onesime operates. — The mOristan of Kalaoun and his Mosque. — That of Nas'r-Mohammed. — Round about the Mosques. — The per- fumery bazaar. — An old quarter. — The tombs of the Mamelukes. — El-Achraf- Ynal. — El-Ghouri. — El-Barkouk. — El-Achraf-Barsebai. — Kait-Bey. — The Mosque of El-Azhar. — The Boulak Avenue. — The snake charmer. — The animal showman. — The Boulak Museum. — The rooms in the Museum. — The mummies of Deir-el- Behari. —Fabulous antiquity of the Egyptians. — The Boulak Port. — The island of Ghezirch. — The Ghezireh drive. — They leave for Upper Egypt . . .315 The Said leaving Jlaiseilles CHAPTER I. En route. — Corsica. — Cook and Son's living parcels. — Those rogues of note-books. — Secret warfare between the Cookites and the unlabelled. — The authentic Baronet. — International confusion. — Where the reader makes the acquaint- ance of Jacques and his friend Onesime Coquillard. — A propos of frontiers. — The consequence of having studied geography in France. — Departure. — What Jacques, followed by Onesime, wished to see in Egypt. — One'sime. — Gaietj- in the forecastle ; frightful dulness at the stern. ON October 8th, in the year 188-, at six o'clock at night, at the "greeu hour," all perfumed with alcohol, when, upon the Cannebiere, the Marseillais, intoxicated with his own tongue, tempers his superb loquacity with an absinthe cut with a dash of anisette — at that seductive hour the steamer of the Messageries, the Sa'i.dy put out from the port of the Joliette. Leaving on the left the old port, the Pharos, the Catalans ; on the right the islands of Ratoneau and Pomegue ; then, doubling the Chateau dlf, she steamed close to the sharp rocks of Maire Island, and continued her course to the south-east, burying herself in the twilight, where one caught a glimpse of half-lost capes, islands, and promontories. The dinner-bell summoned all the passengers. An hour afterwards a few vague shadows wandered about the deck, where the bitter 1 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. emanations of tobacco mingled with tlie odours of the breeze. The red tips of the cigars piercing the shadow of night alone indicated the indistinct smokers. These lights went out one by one, little by little, and there was silence, dis- '- J rurbed only by the dull, ierky moaning of the machine and the shrill calls of the captain's whistle. The next morning the passengers, with heavy eye- lids and wrapped up in their vugs, were assembled at the stern, gaping, coughing, stretching themselves out in the Sim ; till, relaxing the torpid muscles, the contracted nerves, the warm effluvia appeased by degrees the sup- |n-essed irritability, the pain- 'ul twitches of refractory rheumatism. Through a slight vapour rising sluggishly, slow, trans- parent, and as if with regret, one perceived on the right an uncertain streak of grey. The breeze rose, drove away the lazy fog, and all at once, beneath a caress of the sun, Corsica, with its barren shores, appeared — rugged, vindictive, and iH'oud. " Corsica I " pronounced a telescope ; and English, French, Ameri- cans, Russians, Germans, Italians, Spaniards, rastaquoucres of all shades — all the various specimens of humanity grouped on the deck gazed ahead. One heard a febrile rustling of pages : it was the living parcels forwarded by Cook and Son from various countries to Cairo, carriage jtaid and insured in case of accident, turning over the leaves of their The deck of the SaU. THOSE EOGUES OF NOTE-BOOKS. 6 guide-books in search of the descriptive note, which, slightly mutilated, and enlarged by their personal impressions, was in- scribed, after due meditation, and with a thoughtful air, in their note-books. The note-books ! How many does one find, especially in the United Kingdom, of those famous note-books that have come back from Egypt, placed treacherously, with subtle art, with affected negli- gence, upon the most prominent piece of furniture, on the drawing- room table between Shakespeare and Longfellow ! They are spread out provokingly, those impudent little rogues, under different head- ings : " Souvenirs of Egypt " ; "A Trip to Cairo " ; " My Impressions." Corsica. " My Impressions " is the title generally selected by those who have this ambition developed. Besides Cook and Son's bundles, unlabelled Englishmen sought insidiously to widen the distance between themselves and the former, while these, like consummate strategists, exerted themselves none the less insidiously to diminish it. The struggle was silent, stubborn, incessant. On both sides recourse wns had to the cunning ruses of Red Indians ; on the one hand to come into contact, on the other to avoid doing so. An authentic Baronet, who had broken out of bounds of Parliament, cold, correct, was the radiant star round which all these planets in aberration gravitated ; and his perfect indifference to both parties THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. avenged the Cookites, somewhat, for the disdain of the adverse faction. From time to time a compJex glitter shone like a flash of light- ning, followed by a metallic rattling of tubes roughly torn from their cases, and tall, bilious-looking Americans, handling lengthy telescopes with their long hands, pointed them at the land in view. Dark, full-blooded Frenchmen, with sun-burnt skins and hair cut close to the skull, were chattering like magpies, stamping on the ground with a debauchery of gesture which exasperated the tele- scopers, deranging the stability of their instruments. A German in "us," a Doctor Herr Reptilius — they are all doctors in Ger- many, and all end in " us " — consolidated subproboscidate nose The unlabelled Englishman. on his bulbous his gold-rimmed spectacles— they all wear spectacles in Germany — reflected profoundly, and extracted from his huge pocket an immense map, in which he buried himself, the studious portion of " the second-hand colossus I " Olive-green Italians, with low fore- heads and loud voices, expressed regret through their nasal organs that Corsica was French, Nice the principal town of a French department, and Savoy annexed. A taciturn Spaniard, full of dignity, rolled a cigarette and digested his chocolate. An exsanguinous Russian, retnrniuii: The Frenchman. INTERNATIONAL CONFUSION. from Siberia, smiled lauguidly throngli the silky threads of his lonof fair beard. Amidst all these appeared the delicate features of pretty young diaphanous Misses, ^^^ _^ with fine heads, all ' ^ ^ %,- ' ^^^^^. pink and white like \'-^ - J ^^ Yorkshire hams, and vigorous appetites; they were chirping and uttering little cries like frightened larks, while elderly ladies, grave and ugly, full of con- centrated respect- ability, blew their noses like sonorous trumpets beneath the brazen sky! Merry French- women were con- versing with each other gailv, talking Ok? O very lightly of ex- tremely serious matters, beside beantiful Italian women, with dull complexions and harsh profiles, who, envelojjing them- selves in the morb- idezza that is essential to every Italian woman who respects herself, spoke in a most serious tone of matters that little deserved it. A group of sentimental German women, temptingly plump, (' ^ Doctor Reptilius. 6 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. with fair skins, limpid eyes the colour of vergiss-mein-nicht, in the aureola of their golden hair, were blushingly murmuring tenderly poetical nothings, and in such long words that when they reached the end they had forgotten the commencement, those exemplary spouses, those incomparable housewives, " without rivals for making jam and fabricating children." The island showed itself in full, with its hard outlines slightly clouded by the last remnants of the fog ; the cliflFs stood out clear, in dusty violet tones, in the rays of morning. A few fishermen's boats, with white sails, were resting at anchor, similar to enormous sea-mews dozing, fatigued, upon the blue water of the (^"^t \\V/ />^ Mediterranean. -V^~ r-^l»!!. I xP^s~ " I say," exclaimed a young man in French to his friend, " look at those sun-bathed shores, at that pretty bit of ground ! " " Pooh ! Corsica, a miserable place," answered the other. " A miserable place ? " " Yes, a miserable place, where the people pass their existence in mutually suppressing each other, in popping one another off from behind hedges ; a pas- time as amusing as it is dangerous, which they call the vendetta. They indulge in this attractive sport in the ' maquis ' with which the country is covered — probably for that purpose. Bonaparte, who was born in this charming cut-throat isle, of which he is the glory, excelled at this amusing game. Europe learnt it from him at his expense ; it cost her twenty years' warfare and millions of men." " And why ? To be on one side or the other of a river, of a mountain, or of a certain line of demarcation, of which the custom- house officers are the landmarks — for frontiers, in fact." The Spaniard. A PHOPOS OF FEONTIERS. " Exactly ! " " But are frontiers indispensable then ? " " Probably, as they are maintained." " Bnt what is the use of them ? " <^ \ " What is the use of them ? Why, it is this noble, but dangerous wall of national life, that makes us French — and i)roud of being so ! Sup- pose, for a moment, that you were to suppress the Pyrenees — we would at once be scraping the guitar and dancing the fandango ; the Alps — we would be eating macaroni and speaking through the nose ; the Jura— we would be sounding the ranz des vaches through a bugle ; the Rhine — we would be stuffing ourselves with sauerkraut and sausages ; the Straits of Dover — we would be singing psalms and reading the Bible ; the V 8 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. Belgian custom-liouse officers— then we would be speaking pigeon Frencli and drinking ' faro ' ! " But a biped who strums on a guitar and disports himself in a fandango ; swallows yards of macaroni and speaks through the nose ; bellows the ranz des vaches — and through a horn too ; revels in sauerkraut and sausages; chants canticles and reads the Bible ; speaks negro fashion and intoxicates himself with ' faro,' you will agree with me, is not a Frenchman. He may be an Albino, a Caraib, an anthropophagus— perhaps a rational animal — anything you like except a Frenchman. Therefore, the frontiers being our guarantee against the guitar and fandango, macaroni and nasal intonation, the ranz des vaches and the bugle through which it is sounded, sauerkraut and sausages, psalms and the Bible, the Flemish language and ' faro,' we are indebted to them for being uncontaminated, and remaining what we are — that is to say, free from all those exotic eccentricities, the absence of which is our most beautiful ornament and the most appreciable of our qualities. You see that one cannot do without frontiers if one has the least desire to belong to one's country : Nemo potest exuere patriamy " Yes ; but apart from the glory of being French ? " " There remains the advantage of always having a quarrel on one's hands — in case of need. Quarrels are so useful— especially when you are in the wrong." " There is no necessity to quarrel — when there is no cause. Sublata causa, tollitur effectusf'' " But the frontier itself is the cause — the permanent, inevitable, fatal cause ! Did you ever hear of two landowners, separated from each other by an intermediate wall, keeping up a good understanding ? — Never ! They always end in going to law, and, if they are obstinate, in ruining themselves. Well, frontiers are the inter- mediate walls of nations ; only the dispute is settled by cannon balls ; but it terminates in the same way as the other : people become obstinate, and both sides are ruined, or nearly so." "But could not these terrible frontiers be abolished? -There would be no more fighting about them." JACQUES AND HIS FEIEND ONESIME COQUILLARD. 9 " Abolish them ! Why yon are suggesting the destruction of the entire human race, unhappy man ! When we no longer fight, we shall cease killing each other, and humanity, in a body, will die of ennui.^^ " The nostalgia of the cannon, eh, madcap ? It's of a driven-in paradox that you'll die ! " i; rSONTllRtl The Fiench Frontier. "And you too, for having listened to me." Then the two friends walked away laughing, arm-in-arm. Jacques, who had spoken the first, was a curious type. His name was Jacques — Jacques, nothing more. He had seen the light of day on the rich slopes of Burgundy, that pearl of France, that admirable cellar which excites the bitter envy of the grotesque tipplers beyond the Rhine — as if those divine vintages had been 10 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. produced for their barbarian throats. He was au artist. One fine day, without any warning, he had closed his studio, phaced the key under tbe door-mat, writing in chalk on the door, " On a visit to the sons of Osiris," and had taken a ticket for Cairo, just as if he had been going to Asnieres or Meudou. For since we have had a colonial empire, or rather a colonial republic, in France, with a special Ministry and Minister, like the old neighbour on the other side of the Straits, we have become prodigiously daring in the way of travels. The study of geography, which previously bad been very much neglected, according to what some people say, has become quite fashionable since 1870. The Government, to credit these wicked tongues, animated by noble ardour, rivalling Cook, of tourist renown,, largely contributed to develop this taste. They first of all organised^ at the cost of the State, cellular voyages to New Caledonia, Noumea, Pine-tree Island, and the neighbourhood. Audaces fortuna juvat. Emboldened by success, they rushed towards other shores ; they wanted to do something grand ! Glory trips were organised for Tunis, Madagascar, Tonkin. In this instance the voyage was not gratis ; the passengers, selected by chance, paid with their skins, and most of them left them there ! Those who returned brought back bundles of laurels — and fevers ! They sacrificed thousands of men and millions, said the jjusil- lanimous and chicken-hearted souls. The last Chinese adventure was particularly expensive. While, at Tunis, the Bey could not blow his nose without permission of the Eepublic ; at Madagascar, France became the titulary dragoman of her Malagassi Majesty, who was governed by English Methodists ; there she abandoned her Sakalave allies to the Hovas ; China, after an honourable and costly exchange of hostilities, undertook to entrust to French engineers— ?/2Y pleased her—thQ task of laying down a problematical network of railroads ; in Tonkin outlets were to be opened to— foreign -commerce ! There were colonies — but no colonists to place there, continued the luke-warm patriots, with severe irony. There was a gaj). Nations that had colonists and to spare — and no colonies, filled it up. CONSEQUENCE OF HAVING STUDIED GEOGEAPHY IN FEANCE. 11 France had again spent her blood and gold for others, and had unconsciously pulled the chestnuts out of the fire, being treated with egregious bad faith. Fortunately, beside those timid characters, those people devoid of initiative, of narrow views, restrained to au unproductive policy, there are some wiser minds, of a wider breadth of view, imbued with a more enlightened idea of patriotism and a more correct notion nh I zLfj J LI ii ]ji3i7fi 1 1 1 he study of geography. of the mission of France. More profound and sagacious, farther seeing politicians, have perceived in this cleverly provoked thirst to expand the Republic a way to give new outlets to her commerce, and the extension of French ideas. They thought that the French nation, that Gallic race which has been described as " so apt to conquer the world, but so powerless to keep it," at least knew after the conquest how to open her purse to assist in the prosperity of her colonies, instead of enriching herself 12 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. at their expense and mercilessly exhausting them, after the example of other nations that are more — colonising. Perhaps these over-daring partisans of a colonial policy are only, after all, simple visionaries, dupes of exaggerated jingoism, magnify- ing beyond measure their belief in the destiny and importance of their country ! Perhaps those adversaries whom they accuse of timidity are merely prudent pilots, anxious lest the fortunes of France should be wrecked in a policy of adventure. The future will show us whether the daring or circum- spect were right. Jacques, however, had dared ! On the way he had met his friend Onesime Coquil- lard. " Where are you going to ? " inquired the latter. " To Egypt." " What for ? " " To see." " See what ? See whom ? " " The country — the sons of Osiris." " I'll go too ; you'll introduce me ; we'll see together." Jacques and On&inie. (yOmC OU . " Let us be off ! " And they had boldly set out, so thoroughly had the love of travel, which had seized hold on the Government, infiltrated itself, like healthy inoculation fluid, among the masses, and driven them forth to the four quarters of the globe. A painter of merit, a draughtsman of talent, Jacques had wished to see Egypt ; he wanted to bow to the grandmother of nations, to interrogate the Sphinx, contemplate Bonaparte's forty centuries on the summit of the pyramids ; see if the Orient was a mvtli invented WHAT JACQUES WISHED TO SEE IN EGYPT. 13 by a facetious Rajiiu and Orientalism a snperfetation ; whether Gerome's i\.hnehs and Bashi-Bazouks existed elsewhere than on his canvases ; whether Regnanlt and Fromeutin had shown greater imagination than they shonld have done ; whether the so mnch vannted water of the Nile deserved its reputation ; whether the stick was made purposely for the backs of the fellaheen, as a great patriotic statesman had affirmed at the French Tribune. His dream was to bring a crocodile back with him, into his studio, a real one, and to return with a little sunshine at the end of his brushes. Physically he was a tall, strong fellow, well built, supple, firmly set upon his muscular legs ; the sinews of a hunter ; light reddish hair ; clear, penetrating, grey eyes, with a bold, mocking look about them ; the nose was straight, firm, finely modelled ; the mouth well furnished, revealing an expression of banter beneath a fawn-coloured moustache. He had a good appetite and the stomach of an ostrich. In a word, he was well armed to eno-ao^e in the battle of life — and win it. The man was original, his aspect sympathetic. Morally speaking, a giddy head, a warm heart ; a clever brain, with a fair amount of wit and a good many ideas ; joking seriously, always astride on a paradox, with a horror of fools and fleeing from them as from the pest. An able linguist, he was gifted with a peculiar scent for discovering suspicious and fantastical etymologies. Onesime Coquillard, from Paris, his friend, in accompanying him, had been actuated a little by the want of occupation, a great deal by a desire to be with him, in a measure also by curiosity, but not at all by an inclination for travelling. Left an orphan at an early age, a comfortable little income — aiirea mediocritas — permitted him to live without working — and he took advantage of his position ! As lazy as a dormouse, he had buried himself in his cheese, like the rat in the fable, purring away with the beatitude of a Capucin the existence of a porter's cat. Dark, short, fat, dumpy, bearded, hairy, downy, low on the shanks, a good fellow, with a beaming countenance, happy, he rolled through life tpiite slowly, without jolting. He was very fond of Jacques, a friend from childhood, who returned his affection. He was content to see 14 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. others work ; the task of looking on, the only one that was not antipathic to him, sufficed. " One cannot do everything at once," he often re- marked to his active Pylades ; " yon work, and I am resting for you." He was witty, at times, when his laziness gave him an opportunity. He handled irony rather skilfully, lost his self-possession rapidly — on the surface, and regained it with even greater rapidity. His sudden displays of temper, factitious rather than real, broke out suddenly about nothing, and ended in the same way. A spoilt child of nature, he just allowed himself to live quietly, making of wisdom a i^leasure, not an honour; of his idleness a virtue, not a vice. He detested revolutions by nature, loved liberty by egotism, hated war by instinct, but fought bravely — out of self-respect, he said. He was rather indifferent about religion ; but, if brought to the subject, he thundered against all religions, and scoifed at their ministers. Feeling convinced that all the great thoughts of man come from the stomach, " that sublime alembic," he had vowed consequently a profound, devoted, and scrupulously rational worship to that agreeable organ. Gifted with a delicate sense of smell, a subtle taste, a very respectable power of absorption and assimilation, he loved the table and behaved very well there, eating steadily, drinking neat, expanding his good humour around him. He was polite during the first course, gallant with the second, tender at dessert, enterprising at the cham- pagne, daring afterwards I The aspect of a bottle of Clos-Vougeot, of a famous year, of venerable age, affected him considerably. The arrival on the table of a truffied turkey at once paralysed his power of speech. His slumbers were as tranquil as his conscience. He advanced indifferently towards the inevitable end, armed with his charming egotism, satisfied with himself, thoughtless about others, finding that everything was for the best, in the best of worlds possible. When Jacques laughingly called him a gasteropode, On^sime retaliated with cephalopode : they were living and inseparable antitheses. The two friends had installed themselves foreard, amidst a group of sailors, where Jacques must have been up to his games, judging by the noisv liilaritv tliat reigned around him. DULNESS AT THE STERN. 15 But astern a sinister oinui weiglied on every one ; black, dull, somno- lent eniiui ; an nnhajjpy product of bad, over-satiated stomachs, sick livers, affected pancreas, overflowing bile, cboked-up ganglions, empty brains. The hoarse sighs of the machine, with its dull, regular, monotonous strokes, scanned with their merciless rhythm the grotesque snoring, the strange gasping, the doleful gaping of this mournful assembly of undertakers' men, with ossified, zygomatic muscles ; of these unhappy victims of spleen I =^5^ Fji?fc ReptiluTs on the deck. CHAPTER II. The silhouette of Eeptilius. — Where it is seen that Jacques has a spite against the Germans and a grain of ill-temper against the Italians. — Outburst of ultra- patriotism on his part, complicated by excessive socialism. — Exhibition of principles. — Dismay of Onesime ; his horror of the cataclysm. A T tliis moment Reptilins bad just left his neighbours the Italians, -^-*- with whom he bad launched out at a gallop into a burning discussion, the subject of which rolled upon the road Italy ought to take in crossing the Alps and penetrating into France in concert with Germany, which would invade it by the east. He was advancing* fore'ard. gravely promenading his odd silhouette of a bird of ill-omen ; a sardonic smile wrinkled his pallid face, while his eye ran over the map he held in his hand as he walked along. He passed near the group, absorbed in meditation, and on the overhanging margin of the unfolded map Jacques was able to read, " The eastern frontier of France, drawn up by Herr Berghaus and Karl Yogel." " So they have the eye always fixed on our frontiers, from which a slice has already been removed, watching a weak point that will serve to open a new breach in them," said Jacques, in a hollow tone of voice, in which anger was blended with a sort of contemptuous irony ; and a flow of blood reddened his cheeks, while the bitter flood of souvenirs rose up and oppressed his throat. 16 JACQUES HAS A SriTE AGAINST THE GERMANS. 17 ' i7i:k:}(i:i£iiM^!iM/:, " blond and geographical Germans ! " lie exclaimed, in a stifled and restrained voice ; " men of strong breath, all jjerfumed with healthy and homely smells of beer, tobacco, sauerkrant, and pork ; virtuous Saxons, whose oily pores exhale those penetrating effluvia which envelop your heavy bodies, precede your presence, and announce you from afar, fatal messengers to people with a delicate sense of smell and debilitated stomach ; picturesque myopes with unctuous hair, who confound in one immense predilection science and beer, philosophy and sausages ; chaste and pure Germans, with square heads, rounded bellies, enormous loins, large feet, and phenomenal intestines, which you have twelve feet longer than less privileged mortals ; automatons disciplined with the stick ; grotesque calli- pyges of whom the sons of Rabelais have rendered the name of Prussian immortal by making it synonymous with that part of the body which begins imme- diately where the loins end ; kleptomaniacs of clocks ; indis- creet spectacled serpents, who have raised espionage to a virtue ; cumbersome race that has burst spontaneously into life, whose prolific wave threatens to cover the world and to destroy the superior species that generate more discreetly ; practical people who made the war with France a matter of business, in the names of ' William, Bismarck, Moltke, & Co.,' which brought you five milliards of francs and two provinces, — take your rest, honest brokers, booted, sjiurred, armed, helmeted, paid bailiff's men, sanguinary usurers of the battle- field ; rest in peace on your laurels and your milliards, rocked to sleep by your heinous ' Te Deum,' and, satiated boas, digest in Cultivating espionage. 18 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. tranquillity your conquests! France is still healing her wounds, and if your black eagles have for their motto the barbarous war-cry, ' Mio-ht before right ! ' our standards have, inscribed in their folds, that immortal device of humanity, ' Liberty, Equality, Fraternity ' ; right in its turn will stand before might! " And you, Italians, you the sister nation who implore a smile from Bismarck, who looks upon you as a quantite negligeable ; you who ' Rest in peace on your laurels.' abandon France, who made you free ! you who, with a superb inde- pendence of heart, cannot forgive her good services ; you who shout, ' Stop thief ! ' when she hands you a kingdom in exchange for a town and a few mountains covered with a handful of sweeps ; who grabbed Borne from her and had an eye on Tunis when she was gasping beneath the heel of Bismarck, — take care that the gendarmes do not arrest you, illustrious effete ; you, who were Romans, and have retained their formidable appetite, without having preserved their power of digestion. " Have yon forgotten the record of your august ancestor, the wolf's JACQUES HAS A GRAIN OF ILL-TEMPER AGAINST THE ITALIANS. 19 suckling, whose ferocity be inherited ? who, slaughtering his brother, robbing his neighbours, violating their wives, implanted himself, sinister bandit, in the Aveutine with his gang of worthless followers ? " Ambitious victims of neurosis, do not stir up a past that would crush you ; trouble not a present which disdains the prattle of a people in long clothes, and do not obstruct the future by those deleterious dreams of universal domination which pollute your sick brain and impede your growth I Impotent race, you have lost the Italy imploring a smile from Bismarck. strength, forsrotten the lans-uag-e of the masters of the world, vour ancestors ; you cannot and do not know how to say, Cims sum Romanus ; S.P.Q.R. no longer means for you Seriatus j^opulusque Eomani/s. for you they are now only four letters without meaning ; Url/s is no longer on the seven hills : it is everywhere where civilisa- tion engenders progress and bestows a freedom ; one is no longer a Roman citizen, but a citizen of the world ! Rome is dead— dead and buried like Marlborough. You will not resuscitate it I One does not rise from one's ashes ; the last Phoenix has been killed I There are no more Romans ; the species is for ever destroyed, and 20 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. nature does not recommence species ; there are only Italians, a rudiment of people, a nation in an embryo state, an old geogra- phical expression that has been revived. Lucullus no longer dines with Lucullus, he eats ravioli \ Tiberius smokes halfpenny cigars ; Vesuvius smokes for tourists ; your old crumbling monuments are falling to pieces; your old boot, transformed into a museum of antiquities, is worn out. You are an old new thing ! " And Jacques turned round to the group of French sailors, who, with the mobility peculiar to their nation, were delighted with this ludicrous outburst against Italy, when an instant previous their fists had been clenching at the thoughts he had evoked about their own invaded country. " You are treating them nicely, those poor Italians ; what have they done to you ? " said Onesime, taking Jacques by the arm and walking along the deck with him. " Nothing. Only I feel hurt at their ingratitude to us." " Yes, but we have in a measure deserved it, owing to the inej^t policy of Napoleon III., who, to pay court to Pius IX., who was laughing at him, and to keep his title of eldest son of the Church, so long left Rome to the Pope, who hated us, instead of giving it to the Italians, who loved us ; he, in the place of completing our work of independence and handing Italy her capital, which she so warmly desired, thus ensuring her friendship and gratitude for ever, made, on the contrary, the service rendered weigh heavily upon her, affecting even to ignore that Italy also had fought valiantly beside us for her independence ; he wounded the dignity of the young nation in the person of her King, whom the men of the Tuileries treated as a prefect of the Empire." " I don't say nay ; but Italy should not have held France, who spilt her blood to set her free, responsible for the stupidities of an imbecile Cassar. She might have maintained her ill-feeling for the Emperor, but should have preserved us her friendship — and I reproach the hare-brained creature with her silly pranks with Bismarck ; but I am without anger, and cannot feel hatred for a nation of our own blood." OUTBUEST OF ULTEA-PATEIOTISM. 21 " Qui bene amat, bene castigat ; that is the secret of your bullying her so." " In a measure " " A good deal." " That's true. Now ! the peoples of the earth are gathering together in yiew of a supreme struggle for life ; and soon, disgusted, thinking better of her ridiculous mania for the great colossus, who is making fun of her, faithful to the instincts of her race, guided by a more lofty ambition, the beautiful sweetheart of the arts will throw herself into the arms of her big sister, France, to form with Spain, that other proud and noble sister, the triple league of the Latin races which will break up German unity." " I shall illuminate, that evening." " And you will do well ! But for the day to come, delenda est Germania ! " " You hate them yery intensely, then, these Germans ? " " Yes, I hate them, these paryenus of ^^ctory ; but I shall never hate them so much as they execrate us. Their hatred has most vivaciously survived their yictory. " We are, at any rate, not capable of such dire animosity as they cherish since 187U in the contemplation of their glory, crystallised in the continuous apotheosis of their triumph ; we are not persecuted, as they are, by the microbe of an intense rage, which has reached the acute stage, and which all the prophylactic of Pasteur could not cure ; and never could a Frenchwoman soil her heart and lips with that ferocious wish, expressed in 1870 by a woman — Germaine, Countess of Bismarck : ' to see all the Gauls burnt or shot, all, even the smallest children.' " We cannot, as they can, slowly distil, drop by drop, for three- quarters of a century, the venom of an incurable hatred refractory even to satiety ; and if they were able to strike us down, it was thanks to that handful of Protestants whom the revocation of the Edict of Nantes drove out of France, and whose descendants now belong to the staff of those rapacious reiters who ' have robbed us of our way of fighting, as they have stolen our trade-marks ' ; military plagiarists inventing I 22 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. know not wLat ' Furor Teutonicus ' in opposition to our chevaleresque ' Furia Francese,' just as they set their sour little white wines of the Rhine against our admirable brands of Champagne. It is also due to the gallant souvenirs which the conquerors of Jena left amongst them during the passage of the great army, infusing into the veins of these cold-blooded animals a little fervent Gallic ardour. '' We know not how to hate in France ; we have never known how. We have had sublime outbursts of anger, which have produced terrible revolutions ; they bore in their fecund flanks Liberty, w^hich freed the world, struggling desperately in the grasp of the j)riests during that atrocious nightmare of the middle ages. " But each of those efforts exhausted us ; and when these Teutonic hordes, who had been making ready for half a century under the canes of their officers, swooped down upon France, like voracious vultures, eager for the spoil, they found her weakened by those repeated shocks and taken unawares. After a superhuman effort, in an unequal struggle, handed over at Sedan by a flabby Cassar, betrayed at Metz by the infamous Bazaine, resisting Frederick Charles with her young recruits and the remnant of her armies, France saved her honour, in spite of her chiefs, in an heroic defence beneath the walls of Paris. " At length, maimed in her four limbs by her revolutions, crushed by the enemy, losing blood at all her wounds, she succumbed a martyr to liberty, mutilated by her implacable conqueror, who amputated Alsace and Lorraine from her, emptied her pockets, teaching her hatred, of which she knew nothing, and paralysiag her steady advance towards progress, by forcing her to enter in her turn on the path of revenge, which will end in a fatal duel, in which one of the two nations will perish ! " " Amen ! " said On^sime. " I hope it will not be France." " France will never succumb. The breath of liberty is in her, and liberty does not die ! France, republican and free, will kill monarchical and enslaved Germany, just as modern ideas and science have killed ancient superstition and ignorance. Then right will have conquered might ; reason, the priest ; liberty, kings. Then those immense armies, that unconscious and irresponsible scourge, which expands like OUTBURST OF ULTRA-PATEIOTISM. 25 a gigantic cancer over the world and gnaws it to its very marrow, absorbing tbe purest part of its blood — living, dangerous parasite of the fruit of her colossal labour — will have disappeared for ever ! Then humanity, delivered, will perhaps be able to lend her ear to the dull rustling stir of the lower social strata ; she will be able to atten- tively follow the slow movement, the profound, mysterious work of transformation which is taking place among those murmuring masses, bestirring themselves in the secular slough of eternal misery where the merciless forgetfulness of the rulers has left them. Already at intervals, which are shorter and more threatening each time, some have risen to the surface, wan forerunners of famished multitudes, provoked by an accumulation of terrible suffering, of despair without a name, struggling livid in those sinister depths, in that Gehenna, hungering for air, liberty, and enjoyment ! And their appetites must be satisfied, their sorrows must be assuaged, their stigmas effaced, the sufferers consoled, and a place in the sunlight must be given to those despairing souls, if you do not wish to disappear in a universal panic, borne away by a frightful cataclysm caused by the explosion of the exasperated anger of the lower orders in revolt ! " Instead of stagnating in a secular routine, instead of fruitlessly discussing old texts of ambiguously worded laws, we must cast ofl" this unhealthy torpor, march resolutely forward, burn the old barbarous codes, the old antiquated laws, take a new line, and, guided by eternal justice, seek out the evil, destroy it, and find the modern formula by which to the right to live will be added the right and possibility of enjojing life. We must rebalance this world, which has been thrown out of its equilibrium by an unequal distribution of enjoyment and misery ; where the unfortunate die of hunger in the face of bloated millionaires, who paper the walls of their smoking-rooms with bank- notes ; where children, who have too rapidly become men, commit suicide ; where men, who relapse into childhood too soon, lose their brain power. We must put an end to this lugubrious mystification which has existed so long I " Onesime was blue I an indigo blue I He stood there gaping, nailed to the deck, with haggard eye, struck down Ijy the idea of this 26 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. colossal and apin-oaching downfall which Jacques had jnst evoked. Onesime — the peaceful Onesime, honest On^sime, One^sime Coquillard of Paris, independent gentleman, bachelor, elector, taxpayer, a friend of order and the Government — felt a shudder of terror running between his epidermis and the fat coagulated in the flabby adipose membranes of his person. For a moment he felt as if suffocating — and not without cause ! He had performed the jDart of echo when Jacques had roared against the Germans, he was a " Jingo " ; he had echoed again when Jacques had given Italy a dressing, he was of a gay turn of mind ; he had continued to sound the echo when Jacques in a sentence had anathematised warfare, he hated it ; the social strata had left him indifferent, although a trifle suspicions ; the appetites — of others — to be satisfied, the stigmas to be effaced, the consolation to be supplied, the place in the sunlight to be given to the despairing, had alarmed him ; but what had routed him, brought him to the earth, crushed him, scattered him in pieces, was the last blow, that rude thrust at his repose, that death-stroke Avith which his income was threatened, that was the frightful thunder-clap of which he seemed to hear the distant rumbling, and which was to pulverise all I All ! down to poor and inoffensive Onesime Coquillard of Paris inclusively ! That was the cataclysm at short date, that incommensurate calamity which had been suddenly thrust under his nose ; and he had quaked and trembled at the prospect ; in the agony of his despair he had wept over himself— internally, intonating in sobs the ile profimdis of his misery — always internally, for, with that exquisite and rare modesty which is the privilege of great souls, he concealed, true martyr that he was, his extreme suffering, just as the timid violet modestly hides her perfumed petals beneath the grass, and without faltering had drained the chalice to the dregs. Onesime was a man — a man ! He gradually recovered himself, for his strength of character was great, and while still overwhelmed with the anguish of his fright, he poked out his nose from his prostration and turned his eyes on Jacques. That look was a look of despair ; it was a mute, eloquent, profoundly onesdie's hoeeor of the cataclysm. 27 sad appeal to the pity of him who, juggling with his tranquillity of mind, made his liver turn pale and his heart beat with his sinister predictions. Jacques had a mad inclination to laugh at the sight of his scared appearance ; he sought for a moment to restrain himself ; but being unable to resist any longer, he roared out in the face of the stupefied Onesime. " He's laughing " ; and Onesime made a calm, grand, resigned gesture, expressive of the intensity of the bitterness that filled his mind. " But just look at yourself," exclaimed Jacques ; " you have got such an odd face, you look so peculiarly funny, that you would do the same if you could only see yourself." " So — peculiarly — funny ! " slowly jmnctuated Onesime, and he paused majestically. Then his long-suj)pressed indignation burst out full of noble wrath. " But, son of a gun ! what would you have me look like when you unexpectedly announce such topsy-turvy dom, such a chaos of frightful things ? Set fire to the Code ! Trample on the law ! Dis- miss the gendarmes ! Sweep away all the institutions I Break and rack everything I Sack ! Pillage I Flay alive ! Go on gaily I Act like madmen ! And, when you are quite tired of the game, when nothing remains standing in this abomination of desolation, carefully rebalance this disequilibrated world ! And then set the galley sailing on the ocean of ruins I That is your programme, Vandal I " " Burgundian, if you please." " Burgundian, if you wish, but you must surely have had Vandals among your ancestors ; in fact they were in a way cousins to Burgun- dians — the Vandals ! It's atavism that's playing you a trick ; you a,re troubled with the monomania of revolution, the folly of destruction. Yes, your programme is a very nice one ! With ' all to the sewer ! ' or something similar for motto and nihil for the password. And it is doubtless you, modern Columbus of this world, revised and corrected, who will hold the helm and steer tlie barque ? " " I will give you the office if you like." 28 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. " To me ! I embark in that galley I Thanks I I have not fomid, as yon have, the formnla of happiness and the way to make use of it, an easy prescription to follow in secret, and even when travelling — shake the bottle before using the contents— for you've bottled it, your social syrup, the universal panacea. They sell it at the chemists' shops, this marvellous elixir — great quack ! But it is you who are the lugubrious mystifier in all this, and you horrify me with your social strata, your famishing poor, yowv cataclysms, and the sequel of your future revolutions. Schopenhauer is mildly gay aside of you ! And you speak of this with a light heart, as of quite a natural thing' that must happen — one can see that it will cost you nothing." '' And you ? " " And my income — is that nothing ? It would be I then that would dance the carmagnole, engulfed in the furnace." " Yes, that's true. Your income — I forgot that I " " It's easy enough for you to say so, you, who have your fortune at the tips of your fingers ; but how about me ? " " You, my good Onesime ? Well ! you'd do as I do, work. That would be a change in your existence." " Me, work I But at what, saperlipopette ? At what ? I ask you, what am I good for ? I, who have never in my life made any use of my ten fingers? Do what? And, besides, I don't want to change my style of life ! The way I live pleases me — and very much too ! I have a weakness for it; I don't want to live in any other way. I have not got St. Vitus's dance. I am not like you, who have quicksilver in the veins ; who can't stay in the same place ; who come, go, think of nothing but changing your quarters ; who are always on the move ; who hold forth in all seasons, at every opportunity, upon everything and against every one, against the Germans this way, against the Italians that way ; now you are against the whole world. Since you have found the bacillus of the social evil, your fixed idea, to cure this poor humanity that doesn't know what to try next, is to upset society head over heels ; you require your little smash-up that was wanting ; you must have your tempest, as in the ancient heroic j)oems, like Homer in the Odyssey and Virgil in the u^^^neid. But, ye Gods ! the onesime's horror of the cataclysm. 29 wind does not blow with such force there as it does with you : thev are contented with stirring up the waves on the surface ; you, you are going to shake them uj) from the lowest depths at the risk of bringino- on a deluge." " And then— what after ? " " "What after ? But I don't know how to swim ! Goodness gracious, what a hurricane I It's enough to give you nausea 1 It's no longer a tempest; it's a water-spout, a cyclone, a simoom, simply some- thing terrible I And then, above all, it's your cataclysm that upsets me ! That monster of a cataclysm gives me the shivers ; that fright- ful cataclysm weighs me down ; it's a veritable sword of Damocles, suspended above my repose ; and if the thread broke, good-nio^ht, mv nice little income ; good-bye, my cosy, comfortable life, my dearly beloved idleness ! The mere thought of it makes my back feel cold. Look here I if you have the least regard for my person, if you have the least bit of friendship for me, you will suppress the cataclysm ; you don't know how the mere idea of that sinister farce makes me nervous ; you can do without it, can't you ? It is not indispensable to you ? You only knew of it recently; you have not had time to get accustomed to it yet. Suppress it, I beg of you. Do that for me I " " All right ! I suppress the cataclysm — which is, moreover, very hypothetical — as it is so much in your way, and I will limit myself to my social strata," said Jacques laughing. " Are you satisfied ? " " ]\Iore than satisfied; you save my life; thanks I I breathe again with a light heart. But you, wretched being, you must have swallowed a volcano to enter into spontaneous eruption like that ! You have stolen Vesuvius or Stromboli on the way, and have hidden it in your stomach ! You burst out like that, all at once, about nothing. One talks to you, and bang ! you suddenly begin to throw out lava immediately, without a sign of warning ! Vesuvius at least foreshadows his fits of anger by some preliminary indications ; one Jias time to get out of the way. But your crater is treacherous, the exjdosion sudden ; you burst out in a moment ex abrupto, without warning, like a volcano that has been badly brought up. It's wrong I " " Hold your tongue, or I'll introduce my cataclysm again." 30 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. " Ob, no : 1 beg of yon, don't do that. Slioath your cataclysm; I'll hold my tongue." " And, before accusing me of having stolen volcanoes on the way, wait until we have first of all met with them. Can the mere prospect of my cataclysm have already upset your brain ? " " Alas I the word alone drives me crazy ! " Vesuvius. CHAPTER III. The island of Elba. — Monte Cristo. — Caprera. — Jacques and Onesime conquer the hearts of the sailors of the Sa'icl — Naples. — More about the intimate and personal emotions of the Cookites. — The deck is invaded. — A study of muscles. — Native concerts. — The stenches of Naples. — Italy sells her family souvenirs. — Stromboli. — Charybdis and Scylla. — Mount Etna. — Onesime becomes gloomy. — " Us "' at the piano : prodigiou.s success. — Friendly and saltatory jollification. — General reconciliation ; gaiety everywhere. — Sunset. — Alexandria ! " rriHE island of Elba iu sight," exclaimed a sailor. " The island -L of Elba," repeated a mocking voice : " an island where generals of Corsican origin who make themselves emperors are de- posited on a model farm. They pass their leisure in teaching such of their soldiers as show an aptitude for country life farming — escape is easy." Passing by Monte Cristo, Jacques, who was still a prey to his geographical attack, insinuated that it had been discovered by Alexander Dumas, who had found in a cavern there the material for a great romance, which was as interesting as the island itself is the reverse. They had reached the straits of Bonifacio. A little beyond the promontory of the Bear they i)erceived a white house, half-way up the heights on the island of Caprera, the house of the hero of 31 32 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. ■f ^ Italian independence, a rock ujwn which, according to Jacques, -, Garibaldi had chosen to end his legend. He had conquered the hearts of the sailors, had Jacques, as had also the good Onesime. If the baronet was the star of the poop, Jacques was the sun of the forecastle, and Onesime was its moon. The frank and communicative gaiety of the two friends made them very 2)opular with the sailors, whom they were always putting in a good humour. On the fir'st day Onesime, under the ■'^^5$;^^ ^?^. " It's the men's plank." influence of a maritime emotion, as in- ^ voluntary as it was painful to his heart, had liad the weakness in a more than usually violent attack to sigh after " the cow's plank." Here, " It's the men's NAPLES. 33 plank ! " a sailor who happened to be passing that way coarsely blurted out in his face. Jacques' stomach was above every species of emotion of that sort, a quality that was far from injuring him in the estimation of his rough audience. The Gulf of Nai; The next day they awoke in view of the Roman country : a naked, desolate coast, here and there ruined towers, rare miserable villages ; facing the mouth of the Til)er and the little port of Fiumicino, a luminous white spot, the cupola of St. Peter of Rome, 34 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. shines far out in the couutiy. The coast continues low and sad, broken from time to time by the Albano and Velletri moantaius, which dominate Mount Calvi. They pass Porto d'Anzio, Nettuuo, the Pontine Marshes, the abrupt promontory of Mount Circello — and, suddenly, there is a complete change. It is nothing but charming, coquettish, wooded hills, gently sloping towards the sea : this is the beautiful Neapolitan shore unrolling, before the en- chanted eyes of the travellers, the treasures of its rich and splendid Cook and Son's parcels. nature. They skirt the gulfs Terracina and Gaeta, the miniature archipelago of Palrnarola, Ponza, and Yandolena, the island of Procida, Cape Miseno, and, amidst a glorious sun, the vessel makes her entry into the Gulf of Naples. Leaving Pozzuoli, the Castle of Baia, the island of Nisida on the right, she coasts by Posilip^jo, and Naples appears — radiant ! Capri I Ischia ! Adorable guardians of an admirable bay, at the head of which, sparkling with light, sprinkled with touches of pink, blue, yellow, green, drowned in an immense warm tone of INTIMATE AND PERSONAL EMOTIONS OF THE COOKITES. 35 melted silver, a white city rises up iu tiers, casting its clear, Inminous reflection in the azure of the bay ! Indifferent to the dull growling of Vesuvius, whose sombre silhouette, crowned with its smoking plume, shows its profile, a terrible menace, beneath a leaden sky, Xaples reposes unconcerned at the feet of her colossal neighbour, a rough companion who, one of these days, will dash her to pieces as he did Herculaneum and Pompeii ! AVhat a lot of personal, intimate emotions were extracted from the guide-books, and were transferred compendiously to the note-books, on that memorable day, when the Said having triumphantly doubled the last promontory, this vision, sublime in its pro- digious grandeur, in its exquisite grace, marvellous in beauty and charm, api)eared before the dull passengers, incapable of transmitting to the brain, mercilessly closed to a perception of the beau- tiful, sensations that they could not feel ! They wrote in an unsteady hand, the better to convey the full strength of the emotion experienced. A series of dots indicated it incommensurably ; notes of exclamation accentuated it, and commas gave it a colouring. And when, later on, they read it for the hundredth time to friends who were fortunate enough to enjoy the ineffable happiness, they introduced into their diction the shaky aspect of the up-strokes, the vigorous intonations of the notes of exclamation, the shaded har- monies of commas indicated in the text : in the sonority of the consonants, in the vigour of the syllables, thundered the anger of Reiiding his impressions. 36 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. the volcano; in the softness of the vowels one canght sight of the jileasant Neaiwlitau horizons ; in the countenance and expression of the orator one imagined violent, but restrained, vibrations. And when his voice slowly died away in a final earnest accent, it was very rare not to perceive a few politely flattering tears form pearls on the eye- lashes of the audience, none the less in earnest, a satisfaction expected, and deserved by the author, who, very much affected, wiped his fore- head that was bathed in perspiration. At two o'clock the Said stopped, almost alongside the quay. The vessel had hardly been secured in her berth, when a host of j^etty dealers invaded the deck, while a flotilla of boats, painted all sorts of colours and of strange forms, swarmed along the huge sides of the steamer. From these craft adults with bronzed bodies, clothed with a simple medal suspended round their necks, elegant in form, with supple muscles and boldly outlined heads, rose erect, beautiful as antique statues, of which they unconsciously assumed the attitudes. They dived, being the most expert and indefatigable swimmers, after small jneces of money, which the passengers on deck threw for them into the sea. Disappearing in the blue waters beneath the vessel's keel, they re- Indigenous music. NATIVE COXCEETS STENCHES OF NAPLES. 37 appeared on the other side, smiling and showing teeth of pearly whiteness, like famished young wolves, exhibiting in one hand the coin they had found and begging again with the other. " Lovely models," said Jacfpies ; " a har- mony of muscles on which they have forgotten to place an encephalon." "Well-shaped idiots," corroborated Onesime. From other boats arose sharp, nasal sounds, singing with accompani- ment of cracked guitars and -^^ screeching violins. The passengers were literally enveloped in har- mony ; it entered by the nose, eyes, ears, mouth — everywhere I Unfortunately the town sewers were perceptible ; and to the suffering of the acoustic nerve, frightfully knocked about by the native caco- phony, was joined the painful sense of the grievously affected olfactory apparatus. In the meanwhile the chat-J^ teriug hawkers had displayed ^- their curiosities from Pompeii and Herculaneum : pieces of mosaic and a lamp from the abode of the Vestal Virgins ; the marble umbilicus from a statue of Vitellius ; the skin of Cleopatra's asp ; a piece of the woodwork of the seat on which Heliogabalus received the fatal blow ; a photograph of Nero ; one of Caligula's horse-shoes ; Cicero's wart. You could see a lock of Cc^sar's hair there, the toothpick of Lucullus ; the latch-key of Messalina, which enabled her to escape at night-time from the Imperial Palace and visit the slums of Eome, from which she returned — " Jam lassata viris, sed non satiata ! " The odours of Xaples. 38 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. The razor with which Cato, the Stoic, opened his veins, was also offered for sale. All these were guaranteed authentic ; one could even order an antiquity to measure at choice — and still authentic ! Italy was empty- ing her drawers of family souvenirs ; she was trying to realise a few little things to pay for a monster cannon that was being manufactured. She wanted to make a stir in the world. Children are so noisy ! In the way of modern articles Vesuvius and the sea supplied them all, and the inhabitants of Torre del Greco brought their curiously worked pieces of lava and their deftly carved coral. Chaplets made Torre del Greco. of myrtle, olive, and box-wood, with enormous beads, attracted the attention of the pious. Beside these, grotesque coloured prints had the pretension of representing the venerable features of the successor of the Apostles. Reptilius purchased Messalina's latch-key ; the young ladies rifled the vendors of necklaces ; the "parcels" crammed their portmanteaux with Vesuvian souvenirs ; the horse-shoe became the property of a superstitious Englisliman ; the Italians abstained— and with reason. A shrill whistle conveyed the order to clear the deck, and the noisy crowd rapidly made off, relieved of a good part of their second- STEOMBOLI CHARYBDIS AND SCYLLA. 39 liaud pacotilla ; tlie concert -boats widened the circle, carrying along with tliem their noisy harmony, while the Said, slowly turning round, set her bow towards Sorrento. They had at last got rid of the stenches of Najiles, of its lazzaroni, of its false antiquities, of the nasal accentuations of that tongue, so sonorous because it is so empty. Passing between the promontory of Campanella and the island of Capri, the vessel stood ont to sea, leaving smoking Vesuvius behind her, and on her left the deep gulfs of Salerno and Amalfi. The shades of night were falling when the Said entered that admirable Tyrrhene Sea, dear to Homer and Virgil. Continuing her nocturnal course, slie doubled Cape Spartivento, crossed the Policastro Gulf, and jjassed by the Calabrian Mountains, and farther on Stromboli, that old accomplice of Vesuvius, which on dark nights lights up the Lipari Islands with its sinister glare. Once within the Gulf of Gioja, they passed Cape Faro, leaving on either side the famous and inoffensive rocks of Charybdis and Scylla. At noon they passed through the Straits of Messina, at the moment of the second breakfast, and through the open port-holes they distinctly perceived the wild, denuded, and sunny coast of Calabria, where the train from Reggio follows the coast-line, and the shore of luxuriant Sicily, extending on the right, with its rich vegetation, its picturesque mountains, dominated by colossal Etna, 40 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. with its snowy peaks, its sides striped by its streams of black and red lava, descending as far as the vineyards which cover its base to the sea, where slender Maltese speronari, with only one mast, glide by on the surface of the water. When Cape Spartivento was rounded, they passed into the Ionian Sea, and this time the steamer's head was set direct for Alexandria. The sea was hopelessly beautiful, the sky hopelessly lovely ; hours succeeded hours. The passengers, momentarily galvanised by the meal-bell, returned immediately after- wards to their torpor of lizards, their im- mobility of fossils petrified in thick layers of boredom. Jacques thought the sea very beautiful, but also very blue. Onesime had been sulking in a corner since they had lost sight of land ; he felt something like a commencement of nostalgia, he regretted his cheese ! He was wondering how much longer they were going* to navigate that basin of blue water, beneath that blue sky and invariably lovely sun, in the company of that band of coagulated dozers on deck. His round, hirsute little j^erson was bristling all over ; he was quietly changing into a porcupine. A few gusts of mad notes, a few measures of a quadrille they were playing in the saloon, snatched him from his melancholy thoughts and his corner ; he directed his steps towards the performer, a Frenchman, who was endeavouring to stir the venerable chords of the vessel's Pleyel, which by a miracle was in good condition. This unusual sound acted as an antidote to the general discomfort. A slight rustle of gowns indicated that the feminine element was showing signs of life ; a few inquisitive heads appeared at the open windows ; some daring ones had the audacity to enter. Onesime has the spleen. us AT THE PIANO. 41 Reptilius bad been one of tbe first to dasb in tbere. He had walked, or ratber fallen, into tbe saloon like a bomb. As soon as tbe music-stool was free, be bounded on to it and screwed himself down there, fatiguing the instrument beneath a febrile, rapid, masterly touch. Seen from behind, be resembled a gigantic coleopteron : bis enormous round back was shining in shades of black, glossy, worn at tbe shoulders, of his garment ; the long skirts of bis frock- coat, bis i^ockets swelled with books and rolls of papers, beat a wild saraband on his immense feet, which crushed tbe tremb- ling pedals. At times his head all at once disappeared between his two shoulders, and the nose, coming to the assist- ance of the busy fingers, struck a difficult note. The rapidity of his movements seemed to multiply his arms, giving them the appearance of monstrous moving antennae ; one would have said it Avas an enormous cockchafer, af- ^ fected with melomania, improvising. " Us " was a capital virtuoso ; the effect was anexpected, the success prodigious, mingled with a little anxiety on the i)art of tbe young misses, rather frightened at first at tbe strange contortions of this musical beetle, and on tbe male side by a little stifled laughter excited by tbe performer's peculiar movements. He met, nevertheless, with Us ' at the i ianu. 49, THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. ■^''/ complete success. " Us " could legitimately enjoy bis triumph. His I)ale lips, with white commissures, trembled iu his wrinkled face ; bis eyes sparkled behind the blue glasses of his gold-rimmed spectacles ; his rare grey locks at the nape of the neck fluttered; his scarlet nasal bulb, bruised by contact with the keys of the piano, seemed to emit sheaves of sparks; while a warm vapour of perspiration, produced by this gymnastic exercise of the muscles, this violent excitement of the nerves, escaped from . I ' his whole person, enveloping him in a cloud which hid him from the profane. All of a sudden, during a waltz briskly engaged in by the Doctor, Onesime, who for some time j^revious, with sparkling eyes, beating time with his head and imitating the barytone in a low voice, had felt a terrible itching in his legs, seized upon an old sj^iuster — who, while offering some outward show of resist- ance, at the same time clung to him with all her might — and impetuously dashed off with her. Then it was as if a dis- charge of electricity had com- municated its shock to all the com2)any. Couples were formed ; started, they spun round and round, engulfed in this mael- strom of human waves, the wliirling evolutions of which were scanned by the bewildered " Us " with a frenzy that increased as he proceeded. Vires acquirit eitndo ! Little by little this moving chain stopped, as its detached links sank panting on tlie divans. Then there was a noise like a hasty flapping of wings, jjroduced by nervously handled fans ; one heard Onesiuie and Jliss PiisciJla. GENEEAL KECONCILIATION — GAIETY EVEEY^'HEEE. 43 the hoarse sound of breathless respiration ; multi-coloured hand- kerchiefs wiped foreheads bathed in perspiration ; a muggish human smell, mingled with the odour of more subtle perfumes, escaped by the oj)en portholes, while the terrible Doctor continued, continued playing still I This musical tide, which had borne along in its furious course all these different elements, all these antagonistic molecules, had left them, on retiring, strangely grouped. Onesime, while mopping himself at one of the ports, had commenced an idyl with his dancer, Miss Priscilla, who gave herself precious airs, contented that the brick-coloured red tint which the excitement of dancing had brought to the slightly tanned leather of her cheeks should be mistaken for respectable modesty on the alert. Cook and Son's parcels were mixed up with the unlabelled English people without the latter making any effort to get away ; they even exchanged smiles, and more than that, they conversed affably together. The baronet, who had left his cloud in the cloak-room, was talking to Jacques, who had just conducted Miss Madge, his daughter, to her seat. Italians and Frenchmen offered each other cigars and took refreshments at the same bar. The Spaniard chuckled inwardly and went in search of his guitar. Jonathan, in his delight and in his mania for whittling wood, had ended by cutting away the legs of his chair — which was breaking beneath him. The Russian shook off his last icicles. The ice was broken everywhere ; all the rancour, all the anti- pathies, melted in this salubrious thaw. In the evening they dined with peculiar gaiety and glee. The shock had mingled all these heterogeneous genera together to form one unique species, well determined not to lose an opportunity for amusement ; a little music, a small hop, had performed this miracle, by rounding off the angles. The days following comprised an uninterrupted series of pleasant moments. Onesime forgot his cheese, Jacques showed a tendency 41 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. to draw near to Sir Hugh Templeton, the baronet, especially when Miss Madge was beside him ; concessions on all sides rained as thick as hailstones; the " nnlabelled " diffused tepid confidences into the bosoms of the Cookites, half confessing that an excess of vanity had largely contributed towards making them turn aside from the seductive advantages offered by Cook and Son ; and the Cookites, gently flattered by this confession, regretted that their purses had not been equal to their desire, so as to enable them to travel in as noble and independent a way as the others. The baronet behaved as a simple mortal with Jacques, who, in Miss Madge's company, learned to correct his imperfect English pronunciation. The Spaniard, who had ended by finding his guitar, put all his gaiety into music. Jonathan, in quest of a new chair to annihilate, extended his limbs in a silent laugh. Italy smiled at France, and the latter, while pouting at Germany, behaved fairly decently towards her sole re2)resentative on board. The Sa'id had left Candia far on the left ; another day and they would be in sight of Alexandria. One felt the East in the splendid warm tones of the sunsets, where the purple clouds, striated with gold, wav^ed to and fro, marvellous in colour, beneath the immense canopy of heaven, the green of which merged at the zenith into infinite dark blue. Jacques stood for hours leaning on his elbows, silent, in profound enjoyment of these grand views ; and when the enormous blood-like disc, descending slowly to the horizon, at last sank with a final beam in the mighty amplitude of its glory, he still remained there watching the shades of night advance from afar, lost in his rambling thoughts. Onesime was astonished at this profound, mute, contemplative, almost painful admiration, he who expressed it loquaciously, diffusely, epidermidally. On October 10th, at noon, they sighted land. The commotion was general. Attention was eagerly concentrated on the coast in view, which at every instant became more distinct. A long, low, grey line of alluvial earth just emerges out of the sea : in the centre is the twinkling glass dome of the Viceroy's palace ^ ALEXANDEIA. 45 farther oa Pompey's Pillar shoots up isolated, high, dark, dominating a few slender minarets that rise above pink, white, dusty-looking houses ; a few scanty palm trees, numerous windmills ; to the east Ramleh, lost in a few tufts of green ; and in the background, to the west, a great even white line — the Libyan desert. It is Alexandria, it is the decayed city of the Ptolemies. A boat comes alongside, a pilot climbs on board. A few more turns of the screw, and the Said, passing through the difficult channels at the entrance to the port, casts her anchor in the midst of a swarm of boats that immediately surround her, and whose strange crews, prattling and noisy, swarm over tlie deck like a cloud of locusts. The port of Alexandria. CHAPTER IV. General hustle. — They land. — Onesime, a Count in spite of himself, and Jacques, very much puzzled, are conducted to the hotel. — Double explanation.^ — Jacques is convinced of the excellent quality of Nile water. — They make the acquaintance of Doctor Alan Keradec. — Satisfaction, disappointment, and anger of Eeptilius. — Rough sketch of history. — Jacques makes an error in a page and " Us " in a volume. — Two erudites fall out. — Onesime is devoured by mosquitoes. AMIDST a most frightful uproar the motley crowd invade the deck. As nimble as monkej's, they appear on all sides, penetrate by the portholes, disappear down the hatchways, ascend the rigging, climbing over one another, crushing the passengers, laughing, yelling, vociferating, gesticulating, catching hold of everything that comes within their reach. It is a general hustle ! The deck is in frightfnl confusion ; the noise, the agitation, the guttural cries, the variety of strange costumes, of crude colours, the infinite diversity of types, quite dazzle the astounded travellers. Jacques, seated on his luggage, stoutly defends it against the attack of a great devil of a negro who insists on removing it. As an artist he admires the energetic and bestial head, with dull ebony shades, beneath a red cap with a blue tuft ; the form of an athlete, with muscles jutting out from beneath the white gandourah that 46 ONESIME A COUNT IN SPITE OF HIMSELF. 47 covers tliem ; but as a prudent traveller lie fears that the safety of his trunks ■would be very much compromised in such liands. At this moment Onesime, who had disappeared, returns, flanked by a magnificent blue Kawas, the scimitar at his side, who bows to Jacques and has the luggage removed, himself carrying the port- manteaux. He shows the greatest respect to Onesime, whom he calls Monsieur le Comte ; and he installs the two friends on crimson velvet seats, in the stern of a superb galley carrying the French flag, covered with a red and white awning, and which, vigorously propelled by six oars, proceeds rapidly towards the custom-house. On the way they cross a correct-looking craft flying the British flag, and recognise Sir Hugh and Miss Madge, with whom they exchange bows. The boat comes alongside the quay ; two sturdy fellows in yellow gowns remove the luggage, while the blue Kawas caresses with his courbash the backs of some rather too inquisitive urchins, bawling themselves hoarse with repeated demands for bak- sheesh. At a word which he utters as he passes by the custom- house, officers raise the hand to the tarboush, and, without examining the trunks, hasten to open the gates. Onesime, sedate and sardonic, Jacques, very much perplexed, pass through the stirring crowd of clerks, jjorters, beggars, in the midst of trunks caved-in, turned topsy-turvy, by the ruthless hands of the custom-house officers, and depart under the eyes of such of their unfortunate fellow-passengers of the Said as had preceded them. At the gate their amiable guide calls a private carriage that is waiting, and they seat themselves in it amidst deafening cries, in which the word •' baksheesh," yelled by sonorous voices, predominates. The man with the scimitar, erect at the door, inquires if Monsieur le Comte still intends putting up at the Hotel d'Europe, and, on an affirmative sign from Onesime, installs himself beside the coach- man ; the lash curls round the horses, two superb thoroughbreds, which start ofi" at a smart trot, and the two friends, embedded in the soft cushions, make their entry into the city. During their rapid drive they barely have time to cast a glance 48 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. at tlie narrow streets throngli Iwhicli they pass, aud which are en- cumbered by an active popnhition of diverse races in bright costumes that shine in the sun. Onesime does not breathe a word, but smiles from time to time in his thick black beard in answer to Jacques' mute interrogations and bewildered air. A moment later they passed before the Mosque of Sheikh Ibrahim, and, turning to the left in Anastasy Street, came out on the Place des Consuls, where the coachman put them down at the Hotel d'Europe. The serviceable Kawas rushed to the door, which he opened, and, preceding the travellers, led them into the vast hall of the hotel ; then he approached Ondsime smiling, and placed his hand on a level with his tarboush, a quite discreet way of saying baksheesh without opening the mouth. Onesime understood, and the worthy personage withdrew satisfied. The two friends chose their apartments, and then went down to the drawing-room, where Onesime burst into a wild roar of laughter in Jacques' face, who, finally joining in this contagious hilarity, also burst out laughing. " Look here, Monsieur le Comte," Jacques began, " would you kindly ex])lain to me the mystery of " "Of all this, eh?" interrupted Onesime. " Yes ; for I understand absolutely nothing." " Neither do I ; and the more I seek to fathom it, the less I understand." " Explain yourself." " I will endeavour to do so. You remember that I left you for an instant on deck, during the confusion on our arrival, to fetch my bag downstairs ? " " Yes. And then ? " " Well, while returning, I knock up against our blue bird of a Kawas, who bows to me very low, and whose bow I return, but a little less lowly, however. ' Monsieur le Comte,' he says to me, in that frightful jargon which is termed lingua, franca, and the vocabulary of which has been borrowed, in a measure, from all known languages, ONESIME EXPLAINS. 49 dead and living, ' I was seeking for your Lordship.' I look at liiiu angrily, thinking that h'e is making fun of me. Not in the least ! And he adds very seriously : ' Your boat is waiting for you, Monsieur le Comte ; if your Grace will show me where your luggage is, I will have it landed ' ; and he seeks to relieve me of my bag, with which I refuse to part. I reply to him that I am neither Count nor Lordship, nor anything approaching it ; that I am simply Onesime Coquillard, of Paris, independent gentleman and a bachelor : that no boat is waiting for me ; that I am even looking out for one at that moment ; and, I add, endeavouring to get away, that he must certainly be in error. ' I see that your Highness wishes to remain incognito,' he says with a sly smile, ' but I have my orders.' And he insists more than ever ; I do not laugh, and insist on my side ; we both insist ; his obstinacy has the best of it ; he is determined I shall be Monsieur le Comte. Count who ? Count of what ? I will try to find out. Tired of the discussion, I let him do as he likes. I 4 50 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. allow myself to be bombarded Highness ; he seizes my bag, I join you on deck, and find you struggling with your black man ; you follow quite bewildered, we jump into the boat, the French flag at the stern ; our guide makes the custom-house officers, who should have searched us, bow to us, seats us in a carriage, brings us here, and disappears ! Now you know as much as I do." " It's a regular tale of the ' Arabian Nights.' " " With this difference, that it's absolutely true, and that here we are saved from the claws of the custom-house, in which our unfortunate companions are probably still struggling." Onesime had hardly concluded his story, which he had related without stopping, and in a loud voice, when an elderly gentleman, of eccentric appearance, who had been listening to him with a smile, approached politely. " You will pardon me, gentlemen, the disj)lay of curiosity that made me stay and listen to the account of your adventure ; my excuse will be that I was indirectly mixed up in it myself. If you will allow me, I will clear up the mystery in a few words." Jacques and Onesime bowed. The elderly gentleman continued : — " My friend. Count de M , attached to the French Consulate, was expected to-day by the Said; the janissary on duty, whom you mistook for a Kawas, had been sent to meet him ; the Count had remained in his cabin to avoid the crowd on deck ; the description of my friend tallies sufficiently with yours, sir " (and he looked at Onesime), " for the janissary, the blue bird, as you have very wittily termed him, to have mistaken you for him ; he did not understand a single word of what you said to him, and acted up to the letter of his instructions. You were allowed to pass without having your luggage examined, thanks to the immunity enjoyed in such matters by members of the Consulate body. And that, gentlemen, is the very simple explanation of an abduction which I see has not been attended by any very disagreeable consequences." " On the contrary," said One'sime. " I am all the more pleased as you were thus spared the delay and annoyance that have been the lot of your less fortunate companions ." DOCTOR ALAN KERADEC. 51 " I regret it profoundly," answered Jacques, " and I beg you to excuse us, for this foolish prank of schoolboys out for a holiday must have left your friend in a sad predicament." " Not in the least, gentlemen. First of all, you gave way to force, which frees you from all responsibility ; I will now add, to set your consciences quite at ease, that the Captain of the Said at once placed a boat at the service of Count de M ; I was awaiting him at the custom-house, which you had no doubt left just before 1 arrived — behind time, in accordance with my praiseworthy habit — and we have been here some minutes. You have therefore nothing to reproach yourselves witli, beyond a slight delay caused to Count de M , which enabled me to be exact at a rendezvous for once in my life, for which I feel very grateful. I am happy that this quid pro quo, which has been of some service to you, without having caused my friend any serious inconvenience, has procured me the pleasure of making your acquaintance " ; and handing his card to the young men, he took theirs, and they cordially shook hands. Then proceeding all three to the dining-room, they found Count de M , to whom the old gentleman introduced his new acquaintances. They all laughed a great deal at the janissary's mistake ; and after dinner, at which Jacques had the proof that Xile water was an excellent beverage, and fresh dates a feast worthy of the gods, they met again in the smoking-room, where a little later on Doctor Reptilius and a few other passengers of the Said, who had also jnit up at the Hotel d'Enrope, joined them. Some installed themselves on the large divans, others placed their chairs on the balcony ; and amidst the smoke of pipes, cigars, and cigarettes conversation soon became general. The old gentleman whom chance had thrown in the path of the two friends was Doctor Alan Keradec, a good doctor, an Egyptologist of distinction. He had come straight from Syria, after having made fruitful researches in the field of science, attracted by the renown of the discovery that Maspe'ro had just made at Deir-el-Bahari in the plain of Thebes, where he had found intact the sarcophagi of several Pharaohs, that of the great Sesostris among others. 52 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. He intended setting out again shortly to visit Upper Egypt, where he hoped to unearth something, if it were only the error of a fellow- labourer. He was a native of Brittany, a " Breton hretonnant " ; medium in height, broad-shouldered; the head was roughly accentuated — ^volumin- ous at the top, thin at the bottom ; the forehead was vast, prominent ; green eyes with dilated pupils sprinkled with gold S2)angles, large, luminous, of a profound softness, gleamed in the hollow of their dark sockets, surmounted by thick powerful eyebrows. The visage of a tamed anchorite, which extreme pallor had made livid, sometimes coloured with a passing hectic flush, with an expressive physiognomy fur- rowed by numerous deep wrinkles, where a network of bluish veins showed up in relief near the temples, was overhung with a big, unkempt, thick, black, grey- besprinkled maze of hair and beard. White, sharp, regular teeth shone in this forest of hair. The arms were too long for the body ; the chest bulged very much forward, the back was flat ; the legs were slender ; life had taken up its abode in the upper regions. A tall silk hat of a mature age, and of reddish-brown tint, covered his enormous head. Whether he was searching the i)lains of Syria, crossing the deserts of Arabia, or penetrating among the sepulchres of the Valley of Kings, that hat never left him, immutable on his bushy skull like the pschent on the heads of the Pharaohs, engraven on the pylons of Karnac. The correlative part of his attire fostered, perhaps, the beneficent warmth which, fertilising his brain, incubated the embryonic egg of his thought, and gave birth to his ideas. He might forget his friends, Doctor Alau Keradec. DOCTOR ALAN KERADEC. 53 he never forgot bis liat ! The latter might leave him, he never left it ! A creased frock-coat, always hermetically closed, enveloped his angular body and fell in pleats on his heron-like legs. The care that he gave to study prevented him from devoting sufficient to his person, which, in the result, was considerably neglected. His erudition was great : he was an excellent dictionary badly bound, somewhat diffuse, which one might consult at any moment. A very good fellow at I heart, who would step aside rather than crush a worm. Jacques, who had mono- polised him, was already turn- ing over the pages. Answers followed questions, rapid, exact, with a neatness of elocution, a happiness of exjn-ession, a liveliness of description, that were as- tonishing. The former did not cease making inquiries, the latter giving information, to the great satisfaction of both parties. Reptilius, sniffing a redoubtable rival in this encyclopaedia on two legs, had glided surreptitiously into the discussion, opposing ob- jections to the risky hypotheses, the contestable affirmations, the historical facts, more correct in appearance than in reality, of the terrible Armorican, who refuted him with charming freedom. " Us," wishing to crush his adversary, dashed into a cumbrous and heavy compilation of facts, dates, anecdotes, witli the pretension to sum up the history of the greatness and fall of the ancient capital of Egypt. It was like a paving-stone launched amidst the audience. When he had come to an end, Onesime was fast asleep, insensible to Onesime fast asleep. 54 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. the repeated bites that a mosquito was impudently treating himself to on his nose ; the other persons who had been amused at the slight skirmishes between Jacques and the old Breton had prudently fled before this charge of heavy German cavalry, which had crushed poor old Coquillard. Alan Keradec and his young friend applauded at the end of the tiresome dissertation. Surprised by the unforeseen attack, they had had to have recourse to all their patience to listen to the end, to all their politeness to suppress the yawning that overjiowered them. " Us," mistaking the fatigue caused by his indigestible dose for the discouragement of defeat, dissembled his immoderate vanity beneath feigned moderation ; he wiped the glasses of his spectacles, giving himself the airs of an old coquette, cackling quietly with satis- faction, assuming the aspect of a turkey strutting about with his tail spread out. At length, intoxicated by what he believed to be his success, encouraged by the silence of his audience, his conceit over- flowed ; he sought to force out the compliments that did not come fast enough to please him. " I tink, sentlemen," said he, with his head high, the nose forward, the nostrils dilated, the lip disdainful, his arms crossed behind his back, propped up on his skinny legs, with an air that bordered on impertinence, " I tink, sentlemen, it vood have been tifficult to have said as much in feuver vords ? " " Or in more barbarous language," thought Jacques, in petto, horrified at Reptilius's frightful Teutonic accent. " You forget, with laudable modesty, to add, ' and so well,' " punctuated Keradec. '' I rejiair that omission." " I so much tislike speaking of myself," said Reptilius, fluttering beneath the compliment, " dat I ofden forget to to myself chustice. This ridigulous modesty vill pee my ruin. Yes, my tear tocdor, you have said zo, and I repead it, aldough plushing : ' as much in feuver vords and zo veil 1 ' As you insist." " Ah ! " observed Jacques. " Is not dat your opinion ? " replied " Us," alarmed at this DISAPPOINTMENT AND ANGER OF EEPTILIUS. 55 dubitative exclamation of the enemy, whom he had thought vanquished by his brilliant charge. " What you have just set forth is no doubt very good," answered Jacques drily, provoked by the hypocritical ingenuousness and the extreme sufficiency of the Teuton, " but also very long ; I think it migfht have been said more conciselv." " And one might even," let fly Ke'radec, coming to his support, *' have said much more in fewer words." i " And much petter, eh, Tocdeur Gueratec ? " hissed Reptilius between his closed teeth, making a bitter allusion to the " so well " with which the Doctor had so pleasantly caressed his epidermis a minute before. " Oh, I don't say that." " You limit yourself to tinking it ; I am opliged to you for stopping tere." " There is no need to be." " But, yes, tere is — stopping on such a peautiful road ! " " I have always known when to stop in time, Mr. Reptilius." " Us " bit his lips. The shaft had gone home ; he was struck with consternation, plucked of all his illusions ; his adversaries, far from having been Reptuius biting his ups. brought to earth, were making fun of him to his face. He had made a mere vain attempt. These barbarous Gauls had not been able to appreciate his learned prose from the opposite side of the Rhine. Margarita ante porcos, he thought, to console himself ; he must begin again I He dissembled his resentment and profound disappointment, and with constrained composure continued in a honeylike tone, — " Vitch of fou, sentlemen, vill give me tee subreme satisfaction of proving vot fou have just advanced— dat fou could to petter and more priefly ? " " Really," said Jacques, " I think one could say in a page what it 56 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. has taken j'on a volume to relate ; I will not go so far as to affirm that it will be better, but it will certainly not be worse." " Speak, sir ; I vill have dat page engraved in letters of cold, and I vill present it to tee Berlin Museum, vere it vill remain as a motel of style and concision for tee great edification of chenerations to come." " As you please, Mr. Reptilius ; write, it will not be long ; for if Alexander and Dinocrates. I unclothe your historical effusion and strip it stark naked, there will remain simply this, which I shall condense into a few lines : — '' ' Alexander, that soldier of genius with the vice of an arrant drunkard, the libidinous produce of an enterprising serpent and the bacchante Myrtalia, while on a visit to the Pharaohs, was one day promenading his own irascible majesty along the seashore, thinking of Hephaestion and dreaming of Bagoas, while working off the wine of the previous evening ; he halts before the little town of Rhakotis ; the site pleases him : and, in accordance with the iilnns of his architect, Dinocrates, he has a city built there, which he baj^tises with his ROUGH SKETCH OF HISTORY. 57 own name — vanity of a lucky warrior, who wanted to set np a monument of bis reputation. " ' Like all cities, when once founded, it rises, grows, expands, and, after various adventures, topples over and falls, engulfed in a terrible catastrophe from which it has never recovered. " ' Artistic, learned, commercial, under the Ptolemies, it produces masterpieces, becomes the brain of Europe, and lives like a millionaire. Vicious with Cleopatra, it gets sick of the beautiful, leads the life of a Punchinello, squanders its revenue, and from a mistress becomes a servant. " ' Beaten and plundered by the Romans, whom it feeds, it plunges into Christianity, loses the small amount of brains that it still pos- sessed, and issues from the adventure stupid, a bigot, crippled with heresy. Its character is embittered ; it becomes pedantic, lunatic, ill-tempered, and wrangles indefinitely about trifles. It recovers for a moment a bit of strength, tussles with Amrou, who gives it a soimd thrashing. After the victory he does not act too brutally towards it ; he quietly makes it Mussulman, reads it the Koran to divert it, teaches it to kill time by making pretty little mosques, ornamented with arabesques and dainty minarets as light as lace, with the pillars of its temples ; he heats his baths with the old worm-eaten volumes of its library, which had escaped the destructive zeal of the Christians, under Theodosius ; flirts with it, shows it the fidelity of a poodle-dog, and then suddenly leaves it to its own devices, to go and trace out the plan of Cairo, and make of Fostat what Alexander had made of Rhakotis. " ' After that come the Turks, ill-bred fellows, who handle it roughly ; the Mamelukes, who behave like regular Pandours ; Bonaparte, who does not even look at it. " ' Finally, Mahomet Ali became infatuated with this corruption on the decline, and both he and his successors sought to renew its virginity ; but no, it was at an end I The palmy days of Cleopatra's time are far away ; the people have been burning the candle at both ends ; and, with age, parturition has come to a standstill, striking with sterility the old but still bewitching coquette, who 58 THE LAND OF THE SPHINX. is now spending lier last pence with a few sliady bankers and un- scrupulous shopkeepers who shamelessly live upon her.' " '' Us," in j)roportion as Jacques proceeded, had shown unmis- takable signs of general uneasiness. When the latter had concluded this picturesque effusion, Reptilius made a prodigious leap in the air, like a carp, coming down on the feet of Onesime, who awoke with a start, and shouted out with pain, thinking he had fallen a prey to his bugbear — the cataclysm ! Then, standing in front of the young man, " Us " examined him through his spectacles with mute, prolonged, cautious attention, as if he found himself in the presence of a dangerous and inexplicable phenomenon. Onesime enjoyed this profound Teutonic stupefaction. " That rascal Jacques has been up to his games while I was asleep," he thought. And he looked merry, his ears wide open, while avoiding the attacks of the mosquitoes, attracted by flesh freshly arrived from Europe^ and scratching his sore nose. "Us" at length recovered speech; he burst out, — " But dis is an outrage upon science, an assassination of style ; it is hisdorical high dreason dat you have just gommitted ; this vandastical, I might almost say prutal and unseemly, inder- bredatiou " " You may dare," interrupted Jacques, laughing ; " do not stand upon ceremony." "Of hisdory," continued Reptilius, "tisdurbs all recognised notions of tee metod of dreating tis uople pranch of human know- ledge. It is bure fancy." " Like his geography, in fact," thought Onesime. " You have dold a story and not related hisdory ; and you vill not be surbrised if in my turn I find dat it is imbossible do say vorse in feuver vords." " But, Mr. Reptilius," joined in Alan Keradec, "what Mr. Jacques has just said is perfect in its way ; he relates history according to his temperament, you in accordance with yours ; to your interminable affectation he opposes his intended brutality; his incisive ingenuous- ness astounds your inert erudition ; where you use the afiirmative TWO EEUDITES FALL OUT. 59 and cutting form, lie juggles with words and plays with style ; you are long, he is brief, that is all the difference. History is a mixture in unequal proportions of truth and falsity, in which falsity predominates ; now, you are prolix and Mr. Jacques is concise; where you are in error in a volume, he only makes a mistake in a page ; all the chances, therefore, that he will commit fewer mistakes than you are on his side." Reptilius smiled ^ \ ^y\ coldly behind his f"^ [