Rl83pr Robinson Preferment THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES FREDERIC THOMAS BLANCHARD ENDOWMENT FUND PREFERMENT SATIRE. B Y JOHN ROBINSON. Stulta eft dementia, cum tot ubique Vatibus occurras, perlturce parcere Chartce. Juv. LONDON: Printed for W. NICOLL, in St. Paul's Church-Yard, MDCCLXV. [PRICE ONE SHILLING.] PR. ;" 7 PREFERMENT. WHEN big-fwoln Pride with haughty ftep walks forth When ev'ry Coxcomb feoffs at modeft Worth, And of his Wealth or empty Titles proud, Afks Adoration from the fuppliant Croud, Satire fhould ply the Lafh, nor pitying fpare : Juftice bids ftrike and who fhall bid forbear ? The Sat'rift thus, with love of Right infpir'd, 'Gainft Pride with honeft Indignation fir'd, B Preludes 870486 2 PREFERMENT. Preludes the ftroke, then whirls the Lafh around, And ev'ry faucy Knave receives a Wound. Heedlefs of this, nor fcrupuloufly nice In fixing bounds to Virtue and to Vice, Whoe'er the ftately Scenes which Wealth can raife, And Fame's fair Shew with longing Eye furveys, Attend the precepts of the Mufe, and learn This envied Wealth and Dignity to earn. There are who, feconded by partial Fate, Attain to Grandeur at an eafy rate. With brazen look, and Falfhood on his Tongue, For Gain the Lawyer proves that Right is Wrong, And, not lefs ftrange, if Int'reft fo invite, By dint of Impudence proves Wrong is Right. The Doctor gravely hems and chafes his brow, Prefcribes, then takes his Fee, and makes his bow; Prefcribes- yet cannot from this Maxim fwervc, Who cures the Patient, will the Dodor ftarve. The PREFERMENT. 3 The Juftice fits in awful State among Whores, Rogues, and Bawds, a tributary throng. From Brothels nightly rak'd for fliew, and then (All dues difcharg'd) committed back agen. And Cits, whom all the World muft own difcreet, Thrive by fair Profit when they cannot cheat. Let fuch with felf-fufficient fneer refufe, Want's meagre fons fliall profit by the Mufe. Strive not to rife by poring o'er the Page Which Senfe has handed down from Age to Age, By treading firm in Virtue's thorny way, If thy warm Wiihes cannot brook delay; Leave Fergufon to trace a Comet's Courfe, To teach the Sum of Gravitative Force, In what Elliptic Orbs the Planets roll, Where fpreads th' Equator, and how moves the Pole ; Haft Thou but fkill in fome new-fangled way, A threadbare round of boyifli Tricks to play, To 4 P R E F E R M E N T. To bid a Fruit-Tree on a Table grow, And murder'd Cocks ftart up alive, and crow, To bid obedient Balls fly off in Fume, And well-bred Cards dance Minuets round a Room; Or if in fteady poize Thou dar'ft afpire To fliine a light-heel'd Hero on the Wire ; Or canft Thou chatter an unmeaning Tale, Mouth a Mock Sermon 'till thy Lungs fliall fail, Diftort each Feature of thy vacant Face, With idleft Mimicry thyfelf debafe, Thou'lt gladly draw thy Thoufands ev'ry day, Wits, Women, Beaux and Blockheads, Grave and Gay, And (whilft fair Merit ftarves, unknown to Fame) F~ te only ftands to thine a Rival Name. Canft Thou not thefe ; whene'er 'gainft hateful Fraud, With open look Truth vent'rous comes abroad, One hour in filence look not coolly on, But ftrait let Falfhood's Caufe and thine be one ; Call PREFERMENT. 5 Call forth thy fair Opponent to fubdue, Of pois'nous Slanders an infernal Crew, Defile her fnowy Robe with fouleft flams. Long to the Caufe ftand faft, nor grudge thy Pains, In new deceits, new knav'ries feek refource, Nor poorly ficken at their want of Force, What tho' unable to miflead our Senfe, By quirks of Wit or ftrokes of Eloquence, Tho' Black Thou haft not power to pi&ure White, Nor blazon fair by Day the deeds of Night, Defend vile Falfhood's Caufe in endlefs broils, And fraudful Villains fliall reward thy Toils. Perhaps fome Letcher, tott'ring o'er the Grave, One to Debauch'ry thro' his Life a Slave, And ftill the fame, tho' verging to his End, Vouchfafes to rank Thee as his humble Friend: For Him the fmutty hint, the Jeft obfcene, The Tale of Sins whilft Appetite was keen, C Retain 6 PREFERMENT. Retain in ftore, with him (hall thefe prevail, Untir'd he'll Men to a lufcious Tale, And canft Thou fervilely a Meflage bear, An am'rous Meflage to a Female Ear, He'll bounteous pay thy Pains; nay more, when Death Shall fnatch Him murm'ring with his lateft breath, He'll leave his Proftitute to be thy Wife, And add a Dowry that may blefs thy Life. : ' ' " ' Or is his Heart with Av'rice canker'd o'er, Does He with Iron Hand opprefs the Poor, Then eager ftrive to fwell his golden Heap, Nor Rules of Probity nor Juflice keep, The well-earn'd Pittance rend from trembling Age, Deaf to its Prayers, and fcornful of its Rage, Delude the helplefs Orphan of its due, Tho' Youth and Innocence for Pity fue, Extol his Prudence who for ev'ry loan, A tenfold Int'reft knows to make his own ; With PREFERMENT. 7 With wary Eye watch o'er this ill-got Pelf, Nor afk the fmalleft portion for thyfelf ; So, 'fpite of Thofe by Nature's ties his friends, Arraign'd as Flatt'rers for their private Ends, So when beneath Fate's ftroke the Wretch (hall fall, To Thee he'll give it gives he it at all. Gnatho difdain'd for meerly daily Bread, The rugged path of Induftry to tread, Tho' niggard Fortune ey'd him with a frown, And bred him humbly, idle and unknown, But bleft with Pride, and confcious that the Wife Superior to the frowns of Fortune rife, Confcious that Prudence Fortune's threats o'er-rules, Fortune the Dread alone of timid Fools, Bold ftepp'd he forth, and with inceflant. pains, Attun'd his Reed to Panegyric ftrains ; Harpax (a greedy Wretch) with lib'ral hand, Diffus'd his Bounties quickly thro' the Land, Dull 8 PREFERMENT. Dull, booby Lords, from Paris or from Rome Return'd, contemptuous of their Native Home, Shone the fupport of Tafte, whilft Juft and Brave, If Wealthy, rofe the Coward and the Knave, But vainly glow'd Ambition in his Breaft, Vain was the Flatt'ry by his Mufe poffefr, 'Till gay Narciffus (who by Nature's Plan Was doubtlefe.deftin!d to became a Man, But taught and fafhion'd by a Mother's care, Forbid the Toils of Manly Sports to bear, Forbid to ftudy " Let the Wretch who's poor, " For Profit turn his mufty Volumes o'er," A Connoiffeur in Drefs and Fafhions deem'd, A Fop nor Man nor Monkey quite he feem'd) 'Till he a lucrative Employ beftow'd, To pay the Verfe which for his Honour flow'd. Now Gnatho loudly fpoke Narciffus' Fame, With Him had each Purfuit, each Care the fame ; Inebriate joy'd Narciffus o'er the Bowl, Could He no fenfual Appetite controul, Gam'd PREFERMENT. 9 Gam'd He unwearied 'till the Morning light, Mock'd He profanely each Religious Rite ; Obfequious Gnatho join'd the Rev'lling Band, And walk'd with foul Debauch'ry hand in hand, In Gambling Arts was ftudious to prevail, And fcorn'd Religion as an Old Wife's Tale 3 Nay would Narciffus be a Poet known, Ev'n Gnatho's Verfes were no more his Own; Narciflus own'd them, and we falfely hence Believ'd him portioned with a little Senfe. At length by Bribes and fordid Us'ry grown Too Rich his Patron's Government to own, Unreal Pleafures hating more to feign, Gnatho, with lordly air, {hook off his Chain. .' _ . Nor let ftarv'd Hbnefty, with lifted Eyes, Ban the mean Wretch who thus could dare to rife ; Has He not wifely fcorn'd his abject State, Tho s at th' expence of Virtue, to be Great ? D Avails io P R E F E R M E N T. Avails it nought Incefiant to be'fhbwri, When drawn in lafcy State about the Town, By Blockheads who with admiration ftare, And envious Rogues who would fuch Fortune fhare ? Nought in the higheft Pew at Church to fnore, To tafte each Bleffing Wealth retains in ftore, That Gnatho fhould not eagerly withdraw From Honefty's hard fare, and Bed of Straw? If Adulation is a Tafk fevere ; Think that Ambition's ever link'd with Care, And Toils obftrudive bravely he defies, 'Mongft Fortunes Vot'ries who defigns to rife. The haughty Vagrants who, when no more pleafc Ragouts, Soupe-maigrc, Frogs and Fricafiees, ' From Gallia's flavifh Region hither come, To feek a happier than their native Home, Ignobly iftoop (Decorum fet afide) With ev'ry wianing Art to flatter Pride, DU-jcr Expert PREFERMENT. 11 Expert in Wiles, they feemingly controul, If injur'd, each emotion of the Soul, Pliant they yield, and with confummate fkill Are molded ever to their Neighbour's Will ; " For Them, they afk that Heav'n will deign to give " Bare Suftenance, and peacefully to live; " No gainful View them from their Country draws, " Self-Exiles folely for Religion's Caufe." But foon as are thefe Hypocrites believ'd, Soon as, like Brethren, to our Arms receiv'd, They heap up Riches, and to Honours rife, (The Mafk thrown off") our Honefty defpife, Croud into Office, and with rigid Sway, Bid ev'n Britannia's freeborn Sons obey, And tho' from Slav'ry and from Want preferv'd, Tho' blefs'd with Honours which they ne'er deferv'd, They bafely laugh at us for what we've given, And damn the Country they might term their Heav'n. The i 2 PREFER MEN T. The Sire to whom the Modern World's unknown, Who his lov'd Youngfter deftines for the Gown, Prefumes, perhaps, that if He's deeply read, If He with Greek and Latin ftores his Head, Can Truth beneath the ruft of Time difcern, And Gofpel Precepts to a Tittle learn, Exempt from Duty, He (hall fit at Eafe, And pay his Curates, as his Rev'rence pleafe. Let Him exult and render grateful Praife, His utmoft -Labour if kind Fortune pays, (Long as fome Ruflic 'Squire approves his Care) With Sunday dinner, and Twelve Pounds a Year. He only fattens who, whate'er his Wit, To fawn or bribe for Int'reft can fubmit, Can Party Notions for a Patron preach, Or in Conventicles new Tenets teach ; Thrice bleft are fuch ; all Happinefs is Theirs ; When Poverty no more awakes their Fears, They fcorn to pleafe, not fearing to offend, And make their Office ferve each Private End ; Like PREFERMENT. 13 Like Him who late his Neighbour's Credit foil'd, And from Rebuke indignantly recoil'd, In fair Difpute no fecond Onfet flood, But fvveird with Venom, like a bloated Toad, Fled to his Pulpit, for increafe of Pow'r, And ev'ry Sunday curs'd him by the Hour. And lliall not Satire, when fuch Things look down, With fancy Pride, on all without a Gown, (Tho' it no pompous Language can difpenfe, Nonfenfe to cloath, and make it pafs for Senfe, But in the Caufe of Virtue nobly warm, Dares honeft Truth in ftrong Expreffion arm) Shall it not fnatch them forth to Public View ? Detect their Folly, Pride, and Malice too ? With Eagle-Talon feize, as lawful Prey, Who, brib'd, their Friends, their Country would betray ? Or who, for Gain, ne'er ftagger at the Sin, To forge a Will, and cheat the next a-kin ? E Who i 4 PREFERMENT. Who fire their Roofs, to lofe their little Store, That pitying Chanty may give them more ? Or fit down Bankrupts folely with a View, From a feign'd Wreck their Fortunes to renew ? Yes; and finifter Strife fliall it difdain, Folly fhall laugh, and {hall curfe in vainv Meek was this e'er yet Preferment came* And blew his Sparks of Pride into a Flame ; Whilft adverfe Fate refus'd to rank Him more Than the poor Paftor of a Flock as poor, His modeft wim inclin'd that Flock to pleafe,. And duteous Labour wore the fmile of Eafe;. Then with Fanatic Dotards could he pray, And fniv'lling ftill appear more Fool than They,, Could nightly with Old Women club his Tale, Of dang'rous Cuftoms in the Church's Pale, Could whine out Lectures of Two Hours at leanV Could weep at Fun'rals, and at Weddings feaft. At PREFERMENT. 15 At length Preferment fet him high ; nor more Religious Duty the fame Afpeft wore, Fierce Arrogance how foon could we defcry, With Ire revengeful, fparkling in his Eye, When One to Candour and to Truth ally'd, Againft his biafs'd dictates dar'd decide. Have I not known Thee with furious ftare, With all the frantic fymptoms of Defpair, In low, dull, incoherent Rant exclaim, And heap thine Adverfary's Head with blame, Whilft He has (heedlefs of thy Rage) been found Joining the laugh againft Thee which went round ? Nor be the Mufe arraign'd as too fevere, Too prompt to cenfure whom She well might fpare;, She loves to praife let but the Man be fhown, Who for his Country's Good neglects his own ; Point out the Man who, fleady in his Choice, No Hypocritic Falfliood in his Voice, In 16 PREFERMENT. In profpVous Times Religion's Path has trod, Nor turn'd if Persecution grafp'd the Rod, The Man who, pitying Poverty's diftrefs, Holds forth his hand, the Grievance to redrefs, Who fofters Merit with Paternal Care, Bids Induftry his kind Indulgence fhare, From Danger {hrinks not, are his Rights at ftake, And follows Virtue but for Virtue's fake; Thefe with unwonted warmth, in gen'rous ftrain, i*he Mufe fhall praife, nor fhall her Praife be vain. But if a Man knows barely to confine Ten Syllables in one well-cadenc'd Line, Can a fair Stock of well-pair'd Sounds impart, And has a little honefty at heart, (Tho' He ne'er pick'd up fcraps of Wit at Rome, Nor wail'd with Wh d over Cefar's Tomb, Nor learn'd of Br n to eftimate the Times, Nor ftudied Satire in his trivial Rhimes) Shall PREFERMENT. 17 Shall He not write (a Coil tho' Wh d keep About the Danger till his Readers fleep) Not dare condemn, when Vice is kept in Pay, And Dullnefs by Preferment met half-way ? Yet who fo fplenetic, but laughs to fee The Freaks of Folly in Profperity ? One lordly Fool delights in fumptuous Treats, And 'mongft his Parafites his Income eats ; Another without Tafte or Wit writes Verfe, And bribes an Audience, when He would rehearfe; One fo compleatly, fo innately Fool, His Head ne'er harbour'd one poor Grammar Rule, Decides 'mongft Critics and with juft Pretence, For can a Lord want Judgement, Tafte, and Senfe ? Whilft who fcarce knows, fo tuneful are his Ears, The worft blind Fidler's Notes from Handel's Airs, On Op'ras doats, is raptur'd at each Note, Each fquall difguftful from Tenduci's Throat, F And i8 P R E F E R M E N T, And each Performer lavifti will He pay, Lavifli commend for Fafhion leads the Way, Tho' the whole Tribe, by Affedation kept, Is meer meer Rubbifh from Italia fwept ; Others protect and patronize the Stage, Where MINORS, PATRONS, LYARS, MAYORS engage, Thofe fmart, quaint Things which ev'ry fancy hit, Jonfon and Congreve Judgement had and Wit, Jonfon and Congreve may a Critic pleafe, But what have They produced to vye with Thefe ? *-/"J-triOf Strange that our palifli'd Tafte fliould tamely bear, Thefe Mimic-Mock' ries of the Theatre ! Which, circumfpecl: to aim their Jeft aright, Bite Thofe who cannot and who will not bite. Strange that this would-be-humour keeps the Fieldj That Shakefpear's Rage divine to This fhould yield I Yet but a little while, and it fhall fail, Wrapt with Arne's Op'ras in Oblivion's Veil, Of P R E F E R M E ' N: T< 19 Or Senfe and Judgement from our Ifle were fled, And F wkes and W ty's Poems would be read. . To hifs at Knaves that gain, and Fools that lofe, With Indignation heated, rofe the Mufe, With Thefe a haughty Levite has She join'd, And link'd in Bardlings which She fcarce defign'd, O'erbold, indeed, the wrathful Herd to face, (Dull Poets ever are a techy Race) Refolv'd, howe'er, tho' Gravity exclaim, And boaft the fandion of a Rev'rend Name ; Tho' Thofe charaderiz'd by Folly's Leer, Whofe Faces an eternal fimper wear, Draw Charaders, and vengeful Lampoons write, With falfe Invedives, and conceit they bite ; Refolv'd whilft Judgement gives her to divide Wh ^ d and Br ~n from Gray and Akendde, Since unambitious, fave of Reafon's Praife, To dance each Puppet-Bardling in her Lays. Let 20 P R E F E R M E N T. Let not Detraction's Tongue the Mufe defame. And as an idle Wand'rer load with Blame; Satire difdains (unus'd to fervile Fear) TrammeU'd by Method, in one Courfe to fleer, Nor will its Native Liberty renounce, Frown'd to compliance by a haughty Dunce ^ Ty'd by no Plot, and drudging in no Tale, Nor hymning Silence in a lonely Vale, But free where Choice and Reafon lead to rove, The Bleffings of Variety will prove; Will now a Slave inflate with Pride detect, Now teaze a Fop, a Poem now infpect, Now in Corruption's bofom waken Shame, Now brand the Coward with a Coward's Name, Commend the pious Dame who ne'er is won To Sunday Ombre 'till her Prayers are done, Who, fond the depths of Knowledge to difcern, Pores over Rab'lais, Rochefter, and Sterne; And blefs the gen'rous Friends who hourly ftrive Innate Religion to maintain alive, At PREFERMENT. 12 At Revelation aim the deadly ftroke, Eager to free us from its fancied Yoke. But what the Fruit ? fome lukewarm Reader cries, Will Knaves be honeft ? or will Fools be wife ? Will Sunday Gamefters yield up each Pretence ? And once will W ty ftartle us with Senfe ? Can Satire fondly cherifli hopes fo vain, To cleanfe fuch Ethiops from their fable ftain ? Why grant that fuch perfift (yet furely Shame May influence fome) grant fuch remain the fame ; Whilft arm'd from Innocence to ward difgrace,, And faften it on thofe who dare be bafe, From Fame's bright Lift difdainful to difcard, Things who profane the facred Name of Bard, Upheld by Truth (whoever it offend) Shall Satire live, and rank as Virtue's friend. F I N I S, ' '