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 EDINBURGH 
 
 FUGITIVE PIECES: 
 
 WITH 
 
 LETTERS, 
 
 CONTAINING 
 
 A COMPARATIVE VIEW 
 
 OF THE 
 
 MODES OF LIVING, ARTS, COMMERCE, LITERATURE, 
 
 MANNERS, &C. OF EDINBURGH, AT DIFFERENT 
 
 PERIODS. 
 
 BY THE LATE 
 
 WILLIAM CREECH, Esq. F.R.S. Edin. 
 
 TO WHICH JS PREFIXED 
 
 AN ACCOUNT OF HIS LIFE. 
 
 EDINBURGH: 
 
 Printed by George Ramsay and Company, 
 
 FOR JOHN FAIRBAIRN, (SUCCESSOR TO MR CREECH) ; 
 
 LONGMAN, HURST, REES, ORME, AND BROWN, T. CADELL 
 
 AND W. DAVIES, JOHN MURRAY, T. HAMILTON, AND 
 
 GALE AND FENNER, LONDON. 
 
 1815.
 
 \ 
 
 
 TR 
 
 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 The Essays and Sketches contained in 
 this volume, chiefly written by the late Mr 
 Creech, were originally published in the 
 periodical works of the day. A consider- 
 able part of them was first collected and 
 published in a volume, in the year 1791* 
 under the title of " Edinburgh Fugitive 
 Pieces," and some part was afterwards 
 inserted in the Statistical Account of Scot- 
 land. The volume in which they at first 
 appeared as a collection having been long 
 out of print, it is now republished, with 
 several pieces which were not in the former 
 edition ; and it is hoped will not be unac- 

 
 VI ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 ceplable to the public. There is prefixed, a 
 short Account of Mr Creech's Life, to- 
 gether with his Portrait, engraved from an 
 excellent picture, painted by Mr Raeburn 
 in the year 1806. 
 
 Edinburgh, August 1815. 
 
 .
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Page 
 JLife of Mr Creech , x i 
 
 Resolutions of the Citizens of Edinburgh, on the 
 
 change of Ministry, when Lord North retired...... 4 
 
 A debate on the loyal address proposed to be made on 
 
 occasion of a change of men and measures Q 
 
 Advertisement of an universal warehouse for all sorts of 
 
 goods 25 
 
 Cato Censor's letters 33 
 
 Casualties during a week 44 
 
 The Jezebel Club 47 
 
 Resolutions occasioned by the proposal for killing the 
 
 dogs, in the scarcity of provisions in 1783 51 
 
 Verses by a penitent prostitute 5g 
 
 Letters containing a comparative view of Edinburgh in 
 
 the years 176*3, 1783, and 1793 respecting the modes 
 
 of living trade manners, &c 6l 
 
 The letters of Horatius on the foregoing comparison 128 
 
 A comparison similar to that of Edinburgh, from a 
 
 country parish 139 
 
 A comparison of the British nation in 1763 and 1783...... 143 
 
 Men are in every respect like books 156 
 
 On the character and tendency of Rousseau's writings, 
 
 with a prophecy .... 158 
 
 3
 
 VU1 CONTENTS. 
 
 Pago 
 Two letters from Constantia Phillips, at the age of forty, 
 
 to Lord Chesterfield, on female education 167 
 
 On indelicacy in conversation before Ladies 1JS 
 
 A letter occasioned by a sentiment of Lord Kames, on 
 
 the observance of Sunr.ay, by Pascal 181 
 
 An answer to the above, containing an account of a 
 
 Sunday passed in Westmoreland, by Eusebius 183 
 
 A reply to the above by Pascal 192 
 
 Another letter on the same subject, by Philo-Sabbaticus 198 
 A letter respecting the situation of the schoolmasters of 
 
 Scotland ....,.. 209 
 
 A poetical epistle, on Mrs Siddons's first appearance on 
 
 the Edinburgh Stage..., M> . ,. 212 
 
 On singular fashions in dress 216 
 
 Stanzas to Dr Beattie, the author of the Minstrel 221 
 
 Verses to the author of the Man of Feeling , 223 
 
 A receipt for happiness 224 
 
 Lines written on a window , .. 225 
 
 Return to a card, on the first of Aprd 225 
 
 Abridgement of a sermon 00 Man is born to trouble 226 
 
 Genteel economy ib. 
 
 On a letter by a clergyman respecting the American 
 
 loyalists .. 227 
 
 On the tax on bachelors 230 
 
 A letter from Asiaticus, describing himself and the 
 
 woman he would wish to marry 233 
 
 Reflections on the case of a young woman who took poison 
 
 in consequence of a disappointment in marriage 238 
 
 Advertisement of masquerade dresses *tmm 243 
 
 The letters of Belzebub, on modern education 247 
 
 A letter on female geduction ... 299 
 
 A letter from Peter Peascod, contrasting the manners 
 
 of the town with those of the couutry 302
 
 CONTENTS. JX 
 
 Page 
 
 Account of the extraordinary duel of Capt. Wildair 
 
 and Mr Manly 306 
 
 A prologue on Stewart Nicolson's first appearance on 
 
 the stage at Edinburgh 3\<i 
 
 Verses on a Captain of Fencibles leaving his company 
 
 on their march, and going into a hackney coach 317 
 
 Verses to the author of the Essay on Nothing 318 
 
 Verses to a gentleman who complained of having lost his 
 
 gold watch 318 
 
 A Critique on Logan's Ode to women 319 
 
 On Mr Henderson in the character of Hamlet 329 
 
 On the manner of singing the Scots songs at the theatre 332 
 
 On dancing, by Peter Paspy 336 
 
 A letter from Gamaliel Pickle, on his wife's fondness for 
 
 desultory reading 341 
 
 Lines written by an Officer to a Lady whose name was 
 
 Whiting 343 
 
 Professional Resolutions 344 
 
 Leith Resolutions........................................... 354 
 
 English Translation of Latin Lines on the Calyx of the Rose 357 
 The want of personal Beauty a frequent cause of Virtue 
 
 and Happiness 358 
 
 Hints on Education ,. 367
 

 
 AN 
 
 ACCOUNT OF THE LIFE 
 
 OF THE LATE 
 
 Mr WILLIAM CREECH. 
 
 William Creech, late Bookseller in Edinburgh, was 
 born at Newbattle, in the neighbourhood of that city, 
 on the 21st of April 1745. His ancestors were re- 
 spectable farmers in the county of Fife, but not in opu- 
 lent circumstances. He was the son of the Rev. William 
 Creech, minister of the parish of Newbattle, and Mrs 
 Mary Buley, an English lady, nearly related to the family 
 of Quarme in Devonshire, several of whom have held the 
 office of Usher of the Black Rod in the House of Lords. 
 The Rev. Mr Creech, who was a pious and most respec- 
 table clergyman, died at the early age of forty, a few 
 months after the birth of his son William, leaving be- 
 sides him, his widow, and two very young daughters, 
 Margaret and Mary, both of whom died in the month 
 of September 1749.
 
 Xll LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 After the death of her husband, Mrs Creech retired 
 with her young charge to the village of Dalkeith, where 
 she continued to be patronised by the noble family of 
 Lothian, who had bestowed the living of Newbattle on 
 her husband j and at the death of her two daughters, 
 she resided for sometime in Perthshire, and her son, 
 we believe, was for a short period at one of the 
 schools in the town of Perth. They soon, however, re- 
 turned to Dalkeith, where Mr Creech received an ex- 
 cellent education at the school of Mr Barclay, who was 
 one of the ablest and most successful teachers of his day, 
 and who had the happiness of directing the early stu- 
 dies of the late Lord Chancellor Loughborough, the late 
 Lord Viscount Melville, and other eminent characters 
 who have since shone in public life *. 
 
 At this school Mr Creech was also particularly fortu- 
 nate, in having the benefit of the private tuition of the 
 
 * With several of these, the early companions of his youth, Mr Creech 
 always maintained the strongest friendship ; and he frequently mention* 
 ed, with peculiar satisfaction, the pleasure he felt in meeting, not many 
 years ago, so many of his school companions, who assembled at social 
 parties, under the name of " Barclay's Scholars," to talk over their 
 youthful exploits. Upon one of these occasions, which took place about 
 a twelvemonth before his death, the late Lord Melville was present, and 
 was extremely cheerful and animated. It is very remarkable, that al" 
 though, at the date of the first of these meetings, upwards of forty years 
 had elapsed since the death of Mr Barclay, more than twenty gentlemeu 
 *nrvived to pay this tribute of grateful affection to his memory. And it 
 may be added, that all of them were men moving in a respectable rank 
 of life, and some of them of great opulence and consequence. These 
 meetings are still continued, though the hand of death has struck others 
 of the members as well as the regretted subject of this sketch.
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. Xlll 
 
 late Dr Robertson, minister of Kilmarnock, at that time 
 private tutor to the sons of the Earl of Glencairn, who 
 were boarded in Mrs Creech's house. Mr Creech of- 
 ten expressed with gratitude the advantage which he 
 derived from the knowledge and kindness of this gen- 
 tleman, who paid the same attention to him as to his 
 own pupils. These young noblemen contracted a great 
 friendship for Mr Creech, and hence arose an intimacy 
 between him and the Glencairn family, which continued 
 while any of its branches existed 
 
 After completing his grammatical education at Dal- 
 keith, Mr Creech removed with his mother to Edinburgh, 
 where they met with the greatest kindness and attention 
 from many respectable friends, and particularly from 
 the family of the late Mr Kincaid, then his Majesty's 
 printer for Scotland *. Mrs Kincaid, who was grand- 
 daughter to Robert fourth Earl of Lothian, and the 
 daughter of Lord Charles Kerr, continued that friendship 
 which her noble relations had so long manifested to the 
 widow and son of their favourite clergyman. She was 
 a lady of exemplary piety and strict religious principles, 
 and took a particular interest in inculcating these on the 
 mind of young Creech. The impression was strong, and 
 
 * Alexander Kincaid, Esq. was an eminent bookseller and publisher, 
 and a gentleman of highly cultivated talents and manners. He took for 
 many years a leading concern in the management of the affairs of this 
 city, and died at the age of sixty-six, while he held the office of Lord Pro- 
 vost, January 21, 1777. He was iuterred with all the public civic ho. 
 nours due to his rank ; a particular account of which is given in the Ap- 
 pendix to Arnot's History of Edinburgh.
 
 XIV LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 remained with him during his life ; and it was probably 
 from the peculiar views of the Christian system instilled 
 into him by that inestimable lady, that he imbibed that 
 strong attachment to theological study, and to the inves- 
 tigation of a variety of points in controversial divinity, 
 which characterized him to the last ; and these topics he 
 habitually applied to, as subjects of useful research, and 
 even as sources of recreation. It was not uncommon to 
 find Mr Creech, in his leisure hours, examining some par- 
 ticular texts of Scripture, comparing the different read- 
 ings and opinions of authors upon them, and taking notes 
 and observations for assisting him in prosecuting the 
 inquiry and forming his own judgment. 
 
 At the university of Edinburgh Mr Creech completed 
 his education j and being naturally acute, and assi- 
 dous in his studies, he became an elegant and accom- 
 plished scholar. At this time it was the wish of his 
 friends that he should engage in the medical profession ; 
 and either with this view, or for extending his informa- 
 tion in general science, he attended a course of medical 
 lectures. The prospect, however, of being connected 
 in business with Mr Kincaid, determined him to em- 
 brace the profession of a bookseller ; and he became 
 an apprentice to that gentleman, and another excellent 
 character, (the late Mr John Bell) then associated as 
 booksellers of high respectability, under the firm of Kin- 
 caid and Bell *. While he was in the service of these 
 
 * Mr Bell, like his partner, Mr Kincaid, was a man of great worth 
 anil talents, and well known to all his brethren in Edinburgh and Lon- 
 
 It
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XV 
 
 gentlemen, he had the misfortune to lose his pious and 
 worthy mother, a lady of very considerable talents and 
 accomplishments, and much esteemed by all who knew 
 her. She died in May 1 764, and, notwithstanding her 
 very limited income, such was her economy and prudent 
 management, that a small reversion arose for her son af- 
 ter the sale of her effects. At his mother's death Mr 
 Creech became the inmate of Mr Kincaid's family, in 
 which he was uniformly treated with regard and affec- 
 tion. 
 
 Mr Creech continued with Messrs Kincaid and Bell 
 till the year 1766, when he went to London for improve- 
 ment in his profession, and remained there for more 
 than a year, doing business occasionally for Mr Kincaid, 
 and receiving instruction from the most eminent book- 
 sellers, to whose notice he had been strongly recommend- 
 ed. He took this opportunity of cultivating an acquaint- 
 ance with his mother's relations, who were highly re- 
 spectable, and with one of whom he lived while in Lon- 
 don. With the view of obtaining a still more extensive 
 knowledge in his business, he spent a considerable part 
 of the following year in Holland and Paris. He return- 
 ed to Edinburgh in the end of that year, or beginning 
 of 1768. 
 
 don. He was one of the original founders of the Society of Booksellers 
 of Edinburgh and Lrith, and was the fust preses of that Society. Mr 
 Bell's conduct and character through life was distinguished by integrity, 
 liberality and independence. He died in September 1806, about the 
 age of seventy. A well drawn character of him appeared in the Edin- 
 burgh Evening Courant of llth October of that year.
 
 XVI LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 We noticed the early intimacy of Mr Creech with the 
 Glencairn family. We find that, in the year 1770, he 
 made an extensive tour through the Continent with Lord 
 Kilmaurs, the eldest son of the Earl of Glencairn. 
 He went again to Holland, Paris, and different parts 
 of France j travelled through Switzerland and vari- 
 ous parts of Germany, and returned home eminent- 
 ly fitted, both from his education as a gentleman, and 
 knowledge of his profession, to engage and become 
 conspicuous in that line of life, where education and 
 knowledge are such important requisites. 
 
 In the following year, accordingly, he was united in 
 business with his friend Mr Kincaid. The company of 
 Kincaid and Bell having been dissolved in May 177 J, 
 Mr Creech became partner of Mr Kincaid in the book- 
 selling trade, under the firm ofK incaid and Creech, and 
 this firm continued till May 1 773, when Mr Kincaid, who 
 was much occupied by his duties as a magistrate, as well 
 as with his engagements as King's printer, and indeed 
 had given his name only to introduce his young friend 
 to his connections, withdrew entirely from the business, 
 and the whole thus devolved on Mr Creech, who car- 
 ried it on for above forty years with abundant enterprize 
 and success. * 
 
 * It may not be improper here to record, that the premises occu- 
 pied by Mr Creech, had been for many years distinguished as the princi- 
 pal bookseller's shop in Edinburgh. Mr Kincaid had been the successor 
 of Mr James Macewen, a bookseller of considerable note, who had also 
 an establishment in London. Mr William Strahan, Mr Andrew Millar, 
 (both of whom early settled in London,) and Mr Kincaid, were his ap- 
 prentices, a circumstance which no doubt laid the foundation of Ihe in- 
 
 1
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. Xvii 
 
 During that long time Mr Creech had a Concern in 
 most of the principal literary productions which appear- 
 ed in Scotland, and was intimately acquainted with all 
 the eminent authors who, during that period, conferred 
 such lustre on our country. He was also the corres- 
 pondent of some distinguished literary characters in. 
 England. With Lord Karnes, Mr Creech was in habits 
 of particular intimacy, being honoured with the friend- 
 ship of that celebrated judge and philosopher, and 
 the publisher of many of his works. * He was also 
 the original publisher of the works of Dr Blair, Dr 
 Beattie, Dr George Campbell, Dr Cullen, Dr Gregory, 
 Mr Mackenzie, Lord Woodhouselee, Dr Adam Fer- 
 guson, Mr Dugald Stewart, Dr Adam, Burns the poet, 
 and of many other illustrious individuals. 
 
 Those elegant and classical works, the Mirror and 
 Lounger, the appearance of which formed a new era in 
 the literature of Edinburgh, were originally published 
 by Mr Creech. Of the Mirror, a number was deliver- 
 ed at his shop every Tuesday and Saturday morning. 
 The first paper of the Mirror appeared on Saturday 
 
 timate connection between these eminent men. The celebrated Allan 
 Ramsay is said to have occupied, for his Circulating Library, the pre- 
 mises immediately above Mr Macewen's shop. The situation of the 
 house is particularly striking, at the top of the High Street, commanding 
 a view of the Bay of Musselburgh, Gosford House in East Lothian, Sec, 
 and having been the resort of the most distinguished literary charac- 
 ters of Scotland for the period of fully a hundred years, it has been 
 thought not unsuitable, in the present publication, to preserve a view of 
 it, by the engraving at the end of this sketch. 
 See Lord Woodliouselee's Life of Karnes,
 
 XV111 LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 23d January 1779, and continued till Saturday the 
 27th May 1781. The Lounger in like manner began 
 to be published on Saturday the 5th of February 
 1785, and concluded on Saturday the 6th of Janu- 
 ary 1787. These works afforded a source of great li- 
 terary amusement to the Edinburgh public, and the an- 
 ticipation of the pleasure of next week's Mirror or Loun- 
 ger was universally felt. We believe even Mr Creech 
 did not know at the time who the authors were, except 
 the principal contributor and conductor, Mr Mackenzie. 
 The works became soon generally popular throughout 
 the kingdom, and passed through many editions, in the 
 latter of which the names of the author of each number 
 were published. The learned and elegant society, known 
 by the name of the " Mirror Club," consisted of Mr 
 Mackenzie, Lord Craig, Lord Abercrombie, Lord Ban- 
 natyne, Lord Cullen, Mr George Home, and Mr George 
 Ogilvie. A few other literary gentlemen also contributed 
 papers. 
 
 Mr Creech was one of the original founders of the 
 Speculative Society of Edinburgh, a society which has 
 now existed above half a century, and can boast among 
 its members of the names of many characters who have 
 highly distinguished themselves in public and profes- 
 sional life, as well as in literary attainment. * Not many 
 weeks before Mr Creech's death, the society celebrated 
 their fiftieth anniversary at a dinner, which was at- 
 
 * The Speculative Society was instituted in 1764, for improvement id 
 literary composition and public speaking. They have the property of 
 a Hall in the College, granted by the Town-Council, the patrons, and 
 hold their meetings once a week during the winter Session of the Uni- 
 versity Classes.
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XlX 
 
 tended by many of the Lords of Session, clergy, profes- 
 sors, lawyers, &c. who had all been active members in 
 their day. On this occasion, the Reverend Dr Baird, 
 Principal of the University, was Chairman, and Dr 
 Gregory, croupier. Mr Creech, from the rapid decline 
 of his health, was unable to attend, which he extremely 
 regretted ; his name stood at the head of the list of 
 members. That list was printed at the time, and we 
 find the six original members there stated to have been 
 
 William Creech, 
 
 Allan Maconochie, (now Lord Meadowbank,) 
 
 Alexander Belches, (Advocate,) 
 
 John Bruce, (formerly Professor of Logic in the Uni- 
 versity of Edinburgh, afterwards historiographer to 
 the East India Company,) 
 
 John Bonar, (Solicitor of Excise,) 
 
 John Mackenzie, (of Dolphington.) 
 
 At different periods of his life Mr Creech was a mem- 
 ber of the Town- Council of Edinburgh. He was a 
 merchant-counsellor when the keen political contest for 
 the representation in Parliament of the city in the year 
 1780 took place, between the late Sir Lawrence Dun- 
 das, and Mr Miller, now Sir William Miller, Lord 
 Glenlee, and voted in the interest of the latter. * Mr 
 
 * We believe there has not since been such a keen canvass in the 
 council at the election of a member of Parliament as took place on that 
 occasion. There was a double return, and a long discussion took place 
 in a committee of the House of Commons, where many nice points, as to 
 the powers of the electors, were determined. Sir Lawrence Dundas was 
 ultimately found duly elected.
 
 * 
 
 XX LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 Creech was afterwards a magistrate in the years 1788 
 and 1789, and in the years 1791 and 1792. He also 
 filled the office of Lord Provost, or chief magistrate, 
 from 1811 to 1813. He interfered very little with 
 the politics of the country. In as far as his private 
 opinion went, he was a warm friend to the system and 
 measures of Mr Pitt and Lord Melville, which he uni- 
 formly supported. With the latter nobleman he was 
 intimately acquainted, and felt strong attachment both 
 to himself personally, and to his family and connex- 
 ions. 
 
 Mr Creech's literary acquisitions were extremely re- 
 spectable. We have mentioned that he had a very li- 
 beral education, and in youth paid great attention to 
 his studies. The store which he then laid up he did 
 not fail to preserve and increase ; and by constant read- 
 ing, and the advantage of a retentive memory, he not 
 only maintained through life that taste for classical li- 
 terature for which he was remarked in youth, but ac- 
 quired that general knowledge and popular informa- 
 tion, which made his society so acceptable to every class. 
 Many of his literary friends were particularly attached 
 to him ; indeed, for a long course of years his shop, du- 
 ring a part of the day, was the resort of most of the 
 clergy of the city, of the professors of the University, 
 and other public men and eminent authors; and his dwel- 
 ling-house was equally frequented in the morning hours by 
 many of the same characters, who met to discuss with him 
 their literary projects. His breakfast-room was a sort of 
 literary lounge, which went for a long time by the name of 
 " Creech's levee." His social engagements were rather
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXI 
 
 more numerous than was consistent with the variety of 
 business in which he was immersed ; yet neither these 
 engagements, nor the multiplicity of his other concerns, 
 prevented him from finding leisure for reading and re- 
 flection. For many years of his life, he was in use to sit 
 up very late at night, reading and taking notes of his 
 subject. He was particularly fond, as was before noticed, 
 of studying points in theological controversy, and read 
 with zeal every author who wrote upon any of the doc- 
 trinal subjects of the Christian religion. His own view9 
 were strictly Calvinistical. 
 
 It will naturally be supposed, that, during such a ca- 
 reer, Mr Creech must have had a great correspond- 
 ence with the learned men whose works he published, 
 and with whom he lived in such habits of intimacy ; 
 and he certainly had so, to a degree, perhaps, greater 
 than any individual in his situation ever enjoyed. He 
 was often pressed to make a selection of that cor- 
 respondence, and combining it with the informa- 
 tion and anecdotes which he possessed respecting the 
 writers and their works, to publish a volume, which 
 would be original and,. interesting. This intention he 
 had in view, but it is to be regretted he never executed 
 it. He was careless in preserving many of these letters, 
 and some of them which were mixed with private af- 
 fairs, we know he destroyed, along with many other 
 papers, a short time before his death. Those which 
 have been preserved are too desultory and uncon- 
 nected to form now any object of peculiar interest, 
 and it might be improper to lengthen out a mere sketch
 
 XXil LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 of this kind by introducing them. We shall, therefore, 
 insert only a few, more with a view of recording the con- 
 fidence and friendship in which he lived with those dis- 
 tinguished literary characters to whom we have alluded, 
 than to exhibit any thing remarkable in the letters them- 
 selves. 
 
 The first which we shall notice is a letter to Mr 
 Creech, dated 9th November 1790, from the learned 
 Dr George Campbell of Aberdeen. After mention 
 of some private matter, the Doctor proceeds : 
 
 " The way in which I would wish my Dissertation, &c. 
 printed is this : I think they might make a middling 
 octavo. The Sermons, &c. added, will be at least equal 
 in bulk to the Dissertation. The first is on the Spirit of 
 the Gospel j the second was preached before the Society 
 for propagating Christian Knowledge ; the third, an as- 
 size sermon, preached here at a circuit. I believe I 
 shall be obliged to take some notice of some very warm 
 attacks that were made early on the first of these ser- 
 mons, though I have not yet done it. To these I would 
 add a new edition of my Address to the People of Scot- 
 land, on occasion of the Riots about the Popish Bill in 
 the year 1779. To the whole I would prefix a new 
 Preface. I am advised by some to publish, along with 
 the dissertation, a letter I received from Mr Hume, soon 
 after the first publication, in which he assigns his reasons 
 for not attempting an answer in print. The arguments 
 which have been used with me on this topic are these : 
 Mr Hume, though he has often republished his Essay 
 on Miracles since my Dissertation first appeared, has
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXlll 
 
 never taken the least notice of any objection made to 
 any thing he had advanced, nor has he so much as 
 obliquely obviated, by any additional clause or alteration, 
 any one exception that had been made. Now this 
 might have been done without doing an objector the 
 honour of giving an answer formally to what he had 
 advanced. This, they urge, whatever may have been 
 the cause, must appear to the world as proceeding from 
 contempt, which, considering the high esteem he is in 
 with many, both as a philosopher and an historian, 
 cannot fail to create some prejudice against any attempt 
 made to confute some of his principles." 
 
 " It is said farther, and is indeed true, that the letter 
 could do no dishonour to his memory. It could not 
 lessen him in the opinion of any who admire him j and 
 it might, on the contrary, raise him in the judgment of 
 some who dislike him. I think there are evident marks 
 of good nature in it, and more of candour and impar- 
 tiality than one commonly meets with in a literary an- 
 tagonist. Indeed, if there had been any thing in the 
 letter that conld have done him the smallest discredit, 
 I should never have entertained a doubt upon the sub- 
 ject." 
 
 " I shall be happy to hear your thoughts on this 
 point, which will go far to determine me. Let me 
 know, too, whether it would be best to print at Edin- 
 burgh; and in that case, whether you could contrive 
 to frank the proofs to Aberdeen, that I might cor- 
 rect the press myself. I doubt the Translation of the 
 Gospels goes off but slowly. I shall beg to hear from
 
 XXiv LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 you with your conveniency, and am, with great re- 
 gard, 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 Your affectionate humble servant, 
 
 George Campbell." 
 
 The next letter which we shall insert, is from Dr 
 James Beattie. It is written while that amiable man 
 was under great depression of mind, from the loss 
 of his son. It is addressed to Mr Creech from Aber- 
 deen, of date 30th October 1791. 
 
 " Dear Sir, 
 
 " I have got home at last, and shall probably be sta- 
 tionary for some months. Your obliging letter, of the 
 10th of September, found me at Peterhead; to which 
 place I had gone, partly that I might enjoy a little quiet 
 after so bustling a summer, and partly on account of a 
 niece of mine, whose health was in a declining way, 
 and whom I thought a few weeks of the air and mineral 
 water, to be had on that promontory, would cure, 
 as has happened accordingly." 
 
 " I am glad you found this town so agreeable. I 
 wish I had seen you in it, or had met you somewhere in 
 the course of our wanderings, which, at the time I left 
 Edinburgh, I thought highly probable. Had I known 
 you were at Rossie, when I was at Montrose, we cer- 
 tainly should have met." 
 
 " Peterhead did my health considerable service, as it 
 generally does j not by its company and water, but by its 
 solitude and air. But I am afraid this town will soon
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXV 
 
 undo every thing ; for the air of it never agrees with 
 me, either in winter or in summer." 
 
 " I am very anxious to finish the second volume of 
 Elements of Moral Science, and shall certainly be as 
 diligent in getting it ready as my health will at all per- 
 mit. So sensible am I of the truth of what you say 
 with respect to the success of a detached volume, that, 
 if I had foreseen so long an interruption to my studies, 
 I would have kept back the first volume till the second 
 should have been in a condition to go along with it. 
 The cause of this long interruption you have a right to 
 know, and I shall beg leave to explain." 
 
 f The first part of my second volume I wished my 
 son to write, as he was more a master than I am of that 
 part of the subject, and indeed of most other subjects ; 
 but about the time when, if he had lived, he would have 
 engaged in that work, his last illness came on, and soon 
 grew so alarming, that I could do nothing but ettend to 
 him and to the indispensable business of the college. 
 His disorder proved at last to be, what I was long un- 
 willing to believe it, a consumption. It began the 30th 
 of November 1789, and took him from me the 19th of 
 November 1790. The various events of this melan- 
 choly year entirely unsettled my mind, and unhinged 
 my constitution ; and at length reduced me to such a 
 state, that all I could do was to retire from society, and 
 indulge myself in thinking of the friend I had lost, and 
 revolve in my mind his various and uncommon virtues 
 and accomplishments. In this condition I passed five 
 months, when the return of our vacation suggested to 
 me that it would be proper, and was even become my
 
 XXVI LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 duty, to go from home, and try what a change of scene, 
 and the sight of some of my best friends, whom I had 
 not seen for a great while, would do for me. You will 
 guess how weak I must have been at this time, when I 
 tell you, that, in my first effort to go southward, I could 
 get no farther than Stonehive, and was actually obliged, 
 however unwillingly, to return home. A few weeks after, 
 when the weather and roads had become a little better, 
 I set out for Edinburgh, and with great difficulty 
 reached it in six days. This was in April. In May 
 I set out for London ; and you know I have been almost 
 constantly in motion ever since." 
 
 " You will not now wonder at the slow progress of 
 my second volume. It has not, however, stopt entirely. 
 The first part of it, which treats of Ethics, is almost 
 finished; and for all the other parts I have prepared 
 abundance of materials.' , 
 
 " Dr Campbell, I believe, intends soon to republish 
 the Dissertation on Miracles, with some Sermons. Last 
 winter, when he was seized with a most alarming illness, 
 and believed himself dying, he sent for me, and gave me 
 directions with respect to this publication ; to which, if 
 we had been deprived of him, it was then my intention 
 to have prefixed an account of his life and character ; 
 but fortunately for us all, and for the world, his valuable 
 life was preserved, and he is now in pretty good health. 
 I see him this moment pass my window on his return 
 from church, where he has been preaching. 
 
 I ever am, with the utmost affection and esteem, 
 Dear Sir, 
 Your most faithful humble servant, 
 
 J. Beattie."
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXVU 
 
 " I congratulate you and the community on your re- 
 suming the functions of magistracy, and wish you great 
 success as a terror to evil doers and encourager of those 
 who do well." 
 
 A like amiable and learned character, the late Dr 
 Percival of Manchester, was the frequent correspon- 
 dent of Mr Creech. We find the following letter, dat- 
 ed 19th August 1796 : 
 
 " Dear Sir, 
 
 * I have been so fortunate as to meet with a copy of 
 Roscoe's Life of Lorenzo de Medici, containing first 
 impressions of the prints. Your kind assistance, there- 
 fore, in procuring the new edition, I shall not need to 
 avail myself of. Permit me, however, to thank you for 
 the obliging readiness you have at all times evinced to 
 serve me. 
 
 " I shall be very happy to see you at Manchester 
 next spring, as you give me reason to expect. You 
 do not mention any new literary undertakings in which 
 you are engaged. I heard sometime ago, that Dr Gre- 
 gory had a metaphysical work in the press. Whatever 
 comes from his pen cannot fail to be acceptable to the 
 public. When does Mr Dugald Stewart propose to 
 complete his admirable Elements of the Philosophy of 
 the Mind ? This work has been read and applauded by 
 the ablest judges I am acquainted with ; and 1 often hear 
 impatience expressed for the additional chapters on the 
 Intellectual Powers, which he announces in his adver- 
 tisement.
 
 XXV111 LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 " There is a new Institution in Trinity College, Dub- 
 lin, called Donnellan's Lecture, for the encouragement 
 of Religion, Learning, and Good Manners, which pro- 
 mises to be highly useful. I have just received from the 
 author, the Reverend Thomas Elrington, D. D. a series 
 of excellent Discourses on the Evidences of Christiani- 
 ty, which are the first production of this establishment. 
 I remain, with much regard, 
 Dear Sir, 
 Your faithful and obliged humble servant, 
 
 Tho. Percival." 
 
 Mr Creech was the constant correspondent of Robert 
 Burns, being one of his principal friends and patrons, 
 particularly when the poet first came to Edinburgh. Se- 
 veral of his letters to Mr Creech are inserted in " Cro- 
 mek's Reliques of Burns," and although his poem of 
 " Willie's awa" is already to be found in that work, 
 we deem it worth reprinting here, as it is so much con- 
 nected with the subject of this sketch, and notices se- 
 veral circumstances to which we have alluded. The 
 poem was written on the occasion of Mr Creech hav- 
 ing gone in May 1787 to London, where he was to be 
 absent a considerable time. We insert also the letter 
 to Mr Creech which accompanied the poem. It has no 
 date, but was written on 13lh May 1787. 
 
 My Honored Friend, 
 " The inclosed I have just wrote, nearly extempore, 
 in a solitary Inn in Selkirk, after a miserable wet day's
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXIX 
 
 riding. I have been over most of East Lothian, Ber- 
 wick, Roxburgh, and Selkirk shires ; and next week I 
 begin a tour through the north of England. Yesterday 
 I dined with Lady Hariet, * sister to my noble patron, 
 Quern Deus conservet. I would write till I would tire 
 you as much with dull prose as I dare say by this time 
 you are with wretched verse, but I am jaded to death ; 
 jso, with a grateful farewel, 
 
 I have the honor to be, 
 
 Good Sir, yours sincerely, 
 
 Robt. Burns." 
 
 Selkirk, 13th May 1787. 
 
 Auld chuckie Reekie's sair distrest, 
 
 Down droops her ance weel-burnish'd crest, 
 
 Nae joy her bonie buskit nest 
 
 Can yield ava; 
 Her darling bird that she loes best, 
 
 Willie's awa. 
 
 O Willie was a witty wight, 
 And had o' things an unco slight ; 
 Auld Reekie aye he kefepit tight, 
 
 And trig and braw : 
 But now they'll busk her like a fright, 
 
 Willie's awa. 
 
 The stiffest o' them a' he bow'd, 
 The bauldest o' them a' he cow'd, 
 
 * Lady Harriet Dun, sister of James Earl of Glencairo.
 
 XXX LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 They durst nae mair than he allow'd, 
 
 That was a lavr : 
 
 We've lost a birkie weel worth gowd, 
 
 Willie's awa. 
 
 Now gawkies, tawpies, gowks, and fools ? 
 Frae colleges and boarding-schools, 
 May sprout like simmer puddock-stools 
 
 In glen or shaw; 
 He wha cou'd brush them down to mools, 
 
 Willie's awa. 
 
 The brethren o' the commerce-chaumer 
 May mourn their loss wi' doolfu' clamour ; 
 He was a dictionar and grammar 
 
 Amang them a'; 
 I fear they'll now mak mony a stammer, 
 
 Willie's awa. 
 
 Nae mair we see his levee door 
 Philosophers and poets pour, 
 And toothy critics by the score 
 
 In bloody raw ; 
 The adjutant of a* the core, 
 
 Willie's awa. 
 
 Now worthy G 's latin face, 
 
 T 's and G 's modest grace, 
 
 M e, S 1, such a brace 
 
 As Rome ne'er saw; 
 They a' maun meet some ither place, 
 
 Willie's awa.
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXXl 
 
 Poor Burns even Scotch drink canna quicken, 
 He cheeps like some bewilder'd chicken, 
 Scar'd frae its minnie and the cleckin 
 
 By hoodie-craw : 
 Grief's gien his heart an unco kickin, 
 
 Willie's awa. 
 
 Now ev'ry sour-mou'd girnin blellura, 
 And C alvin's folk are fit to fell him ; 
 Ilk self-conceited critic skellum 
 
 His quill may draw ; 
 He wha cou'd brawlie ward their bellum, 
 
 Willie's awa. 
 
 Up wimpling, stately Tweed I've sped, 
 And Eden scenes on chrystal Jed, 
 And Ettrick banks now roaring red 
 
 While tempests blaw ; 
 But ev'ry joy and pleasure's fled, 
 
 Willie's awa. 
 
 May I be Slander's common speech; 
 A text for Infamy to preach ; 
 And lastly, streekit out to bleach 
 
 In winter snaw ; 
 When I forget thee, Willie Creech, 
 
 Tho' far awa. 
 
 May never wicked fortune towzle him ! 
 May never wicked men bamboozle him ! 
 Until a pow as auld's Methusalem, 
 
 He canty claw ! 
 Then to the blessed, new Jerusalem 
 
 Fleet-wing awa I ! !
 
 XXX11 LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 Besides bis close connection with the Scotish authors, 
 whose works he published, Mr Creech, as before noticed, 
 carried on a considerable correspondence with many lite- 
 rary characters in England, as well as with all the eminent 
 booksellers of his time in London. He was particularly 
 intimate with Mr William Strahan, the King's printer for 
 England and the late Mr Thomas Cadell, one of the 
 most enlightened and liberal men of his profession. The 
 former was Mr Creech's very early acquaintance and 
 friend, and their correspondence, from the time he entered 
 into business, till Mr Strahan's death, was constant and 
 affectionate. Mr Strahan was many years in Parliament, 
 and frequently in his letters, particularly during the 
 American war, was in the habit of transmitting to Mr 
 Creech interesting anecdotes of politics and passing 
 events j but as these letters are chiefly upon business 
 and private affairs, we refrain from giving them. In- 
 deed, as a sketch of this kind cannot be expected to in- 
 clude so full a view of the correspondence of the indivi- 
 dual as would be looked for in a regular biographical ac- 
 count, we think it better to limit the letters to what are 
 already copied. 
 
 We cannot however avoid mentioning another of Mr 
 Creech's many friends and correspondents an eminent 
 foreigner, Baron Voght of Hamburgh. The Baron re- 
 sided some winters in Edinburgh, and in a work which 
 he afterwards published in Germany, entitled " Journal 
 of a Traveller," he gives under the head of, " Stile of So- 
 ciety of Edinburgh," characters of remarkable men. 
 Speaking of Mr Creech, the Baron writes: "Mr Creech, 
 " author of Fugitive Pieces, and of a very interesting
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXXlll 
 
 " sketch of Edinburgh, the first bookseller in Scotland, 
 " and proprietor of the best works that have appeared 
 " there during the last twenty years, was to me a very va- 
 " luable acquaintance, on account of his extensive con- 
 a nexions, and his being a living biographical dictionary. 
 " It would be a pity if he should die without recording 
 " that fund of literary anecdote which his long intimacy 
 " with all the learned men of his country has furnished 
 " him with *." 
 
 Mr Creech, possessed as he was of literary taste, 
 information and opportunity, was very capable of ap- 
 pearing to advantage as an author ; but his habits of 
 procrastination, which grew upon him as he advanced in 
 life, and his numerous engagements in company, where 
 indeed his social qualities so much distinguished him, 
 joined to his professional occupation, prevented him 
 from bestowing continued attention upon any thing 
 that required much thought or research. His fre- 
 quently repeated wishes were for " retirement and li- 
 terary leisure," but these, when in his power, were for- 
 gotten j the charms of conviviality were with him irre- 
 sistible. In the middle part of life, however, he was 
 very fond of writing little essays and sketches of charac- 
 ters and manners, which appeared in the newspapers 
 of the day, particularly in the Edinburgh Evening Cou- 
 rant, at that time, and long after conducted by the pro- 
 prietor, the late Mr David Ramsay, the remembrance of 
 
 Baron Voght, when in Edinburgh, during the year 1795, published 
 an interesting " Account of the Management of the Poor in Hamburgh." 
 A translation of the anecdotes of the characters alluded to above, will 
 be found in the Scottish Historical Register for 1795, Vol. VI.
 
 XXXIV LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 whose amiable and enlightened mind, will be long 
 cherished by those who knew him best, and with whom 
 Mr Creech had the happiness to live in terms of the 
 strictest friendship for above thirty years. Of these 
 essays, there were none that did Mr Creech greater 
 credit, or were received with more interest by the public, 
 than a series of letters, which appeared originally in the 
 Courant, under the signature of Theophrastus, giving 
 a view of the difference of manners in Edinburgh, be- 
 twixt the years 1763 and 1783. These he afterwards 
 enlarged, and brought down the comparative view to 
 1793, which was published in the Statistical Account of 
 Scotland. He collected the principal part of these es- 
 says, including the letters of Theophrastus; and with 
 some additions, they formed a small volume, (printed in 
 the year 1791,) which was extremely well received at the 
 time. This having been long out of print, and in con- 
 siderable request, his successor in business has been in- 
 duced to republish it, with some farther additions ; and 
 it now forms the volume to which this short and imper- 
 fect sketch of Mr Creech's life is prefixed. 
 
 As a private citizen, Mr Creech was both respectable 
 and useful. Independently of his duties while officiating 
 as a magistrate, his assistance as a man of education and 
 literature was often of great use in the formation and 
 conduct of public schemes and institutions, and his 
 aid to these objects he always bestowed with cheer- 
 fulness and zeal. He was one of the founders, and 
 a principal promoter of the Society of Booksellers 
 of Edinburgh and Leith. He took an active part 
 in the formation of the Chamber of Commerce and
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXXV s 
 
 Manufactures of Edinburgh, which was instituted in 
 the year 1786 ; and was requested to act as secretary 
 to the Chamber, which he did for many years j and so sen- 
 sible were the members of the value of his services, that they 
 presented him with an elegant piece of plate. Mr Creech 
 was also secretary to the Society for the benefit of the Sons 
 of the Clergy of the established Church of Scotland ; in- 
 deed he and his worthy friends Mr Robert Forrester, 
 treasurer to the Bank of Scotland, Mr Andrew Bonar, 
 and Mr Alexander Bonar, bankers, (all sons of clergy- 
 men) were the founders and fathers of this society, 
 which, under judicious management, has become emi- 
 nently useful. * 
 
 Mr Creech was also frequently chairman of the dif- 
 ferent public bodies of Edinburgh ; and at the time of 
 his death was preses of the committee of the Society for 
 propagating Christian Knowledge in Scotland, whose 
 extensive labours and wise application of the large re- 
 venue under their charge have contributed incalculably 
 to the public religion and morality of the country. He 
 was also Fellow of the Royal and Antiquarian Societies 
 of Edinburgh. He attended regularly the established 
 Church, was long an elder of the High Church session 
 of this city, having been nominated while his friend 
 Dr Blair was one of the clergymen, and was the 
 
 * This Society was instituted in February 1790, and is incorporated 
 by Royal Charter. The object is to afford aid to the sons of the estab- 
 lished clergy in Scotland in prosecuting their education. The perma- 
 nent fund now amounts to about L. 8300, and the revenue is applied 
 for the purposes of the institution.
 
 XXXvi LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 senior member of that very respectable body when he 
 died. 
 
 While Mr Creech was thus remarked in literary and 
 public life, he was still more distinguished in domestic 
 and social circles. Here, indeed, he was universally 
 known and admired. Possessed of a constant flow of 
 spirits, and habitual cheerfulness ; of an uncommon 
 fund of agreeable information, and of manners the most 
 unassuming and engaging, his company was every 
 where courted. His sallies of wit and humour were 
 generally very successful ; and although this species of 
 pleasantry is often indulged without much regard to the 
 feelings of others, it was remarked that Mr Creech 
 avoided every kind of detraction, or personal allusion 
 that might seriously offend ; indeed good-nature, ur- 
 banity, and affability of manner were prominent parts of 
 his character. It has been observed, that the practice of 
 retailing anecdote is often " the subterfuge of those who 
 without genius wish to shine in conversation;" but if the re- 
 mark be true in general, we may quote Mr Creech as an 
 honourable exception. With no want of genius, and an 
 imagination sufficiently vivid, he was remarkably fond of 
 narrating anecdotes, and pourtraying the singularities of 
 whimsical characters ; and in no department of his social 
 powers did he afford more entertainment to his friends. 
 Few will ever forget the enjoyment they have expe- 
 rienced by the recital of his many and well-known sto- 
 ries. His talents in conversation, however, were not confin- 
 ed merely to what is light and humorous j on almost every 
 topic that occurred in convivial intercourse, his infor- 
 mation was extensive and varied} and where a subject
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXXVII 
 
 was introduced, which could be treated only by per- 
 sons of reading and reflection, the stores of Mr Creech's 
 mind were proved to be choice and abundant. Strangers 
 who happened to be in company with him, were par- 
 ticularly struck with his good humour and powers of 
 conversation, and often, at a distance, mentioned him 
 as in these respects singularly agreeable. When Mr 
 Creech was present, conversation seldom became in- 
 sipid j or if it was likely to flag, he had a happy ta- 
 lent of introducing some subject that was interesting 
 or amusing ; and by his varied observations, promoted 
 ease and cheerfulness. With these qualities, it may 
 easily be conceived he was a most desirable guest, and 
 a most pleasant companion. 
 
 Mr Creech passed a great part of his life in these 
 social scenes, more indeed than was consistent with a 
 due regard to his private concerns, and to his bodily 
 health, although that was for a long period remarkably 
 entire and vigorous. He had more leisure than falls 
 to the lot of most men of business, being little encum- 
 bered with family affairs. He was never married. 
 When in the prime of life, with all the prospects of a 
 successful career before him, he was engaged to a most 
 amiable and interesting lady, who falling into bad health 
 a short time previous to their intended union, died on 
 the eve of her departure for Lisbon, where her phy- 
 sicians had some hopes she might recover. This disap- 
 pointment made a deep and permanent impression on Mr 
 Creech's mind. To the object of his choice, he was 
 tenderly attached ; and, though afterwards engaged in a 
 long life of business, and bustle, and gaiety, he was often
 
 XXXV111 LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 known, in moments of retirement, to speak with deep 
 affliction of a loss, which to him never could be repair- 
 ed. In the period of confinement which preceded his 
 dissolution, and when, although averse to confess it, 
 he must have felt the fatal presages of mortality, he 
 frequently spoke of this lady as still the object of his 
 fondest remembrance. Mr Creech's health gradually 
 declined for a considerable time before his death, and 
 he died on the 14-th of January 1815, having nearly 
 completed his 70th year. 
 
 In the life of a private citizen, there is generally very 
 little either to interest or amuse, and in that of Mr 
 Creech, we are far from saying that there is any thing 
 novel or remarkable ; but there was something in the 
 character of the individual more than common j and 
 his friends at least will not be displeased to see an at- 
 tempt made to preserve the remembrance of a man 
 who, by his manners, and attainments, so considera- 
 bly interested society when alive, and whom all who 
 knew him well, will ever recollect with the united feel- 
 ings of affection and respect. We shall not, in conclud- 
 ing, endeavour to recapitulate the outlines of his cha- 
 racter, as this was done in a short account given in the 
 Edinburgh Courant of 19th January last, the day of Mr 
 Creech's interment. It was drawn up by one of his par- 
 ticular friends, and as it has been much approved of 
 by those who were well acquainted with him, we shall 
 take the liberty of closing our narrative by inserting it. 
 
 " It is with feelings of no ordinary regret, that, in 
 " our usual list of to-day, we announce the death of
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. XXXlX 
 
 " our fellow citizen, Mr Creech, the late Lord Pro- 
 " vost, a gentleman for nearly half a century so well 
 w known to almost every family in this city. Mr Creech 
 < was well fitted to adorn society. With a mind highly 
 " gifted and improved, he possessed the most pleasing 
 " manners, and that habitual cheerfulness and playful- 
 " ness of fancy which rendered his company so fasci- 
 " nating. He was an excellent and an elegant scholar ; 
 ** and although, from the extent of his business as one 
 of the most eminent booksellers of his day, and his 
 '* many social engagements, he had little leisure to di- 
 " rect his mind to any deliberate literary work, yet 
 the frequent light pieces and essays which came from 
 " his pen, evinced the elegance of his taste, his know- 
 " ledge of character, and his capability of a higher 
 " attainment in composition, had he chosen to aim 
 " at it. Several of these essays, we believe, were af- 
 ' terwards collected into a small volume, entitled, 
 tl ' Edinburgh Fugitive Pieces.' Mr Creech was one 
 M of the original founders of the Speculative Society of 
 " Edinburgh. 
 
 " It has perhaps fallen to the lot of few men to have 
 " enjoyed more than Mr Creech did, the correspon- 
 " dence and confidence of most of the great literary 
 ** characters who flourished in Scotland from about the 
 " middle to the end of the last century. With Lord 
 " Kames, Dr Robertson, Dr Blair, Dr George Camp- 
 " bell, Dr Adam Smith, Lord Hailes, Lord Wood- 
 " houselee, Dr Beattie, and many other illustrious au- 
 " thors, he was in the habits of constant intimacy ; and 
 " of many other eminent men of the same class, whom
 
 Xl LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 " we still have the happiness to retain among us, Pro- 
 " fessor Dugald Stewart, Mr Mackenzie, Lord Mea- 
 " dowbank, Dr Gregory, &c. he possessed till his death 
 " the warmest friendship and esteem. 
 
 " Mr Creech was the son of a most respectable clergy- 
 " man, the minister of Newbattle. After a very com- 
 " plete classical education, he was, in early life, at differ- 
 " ent times on the Continent, and succeeded, in the year 
 " 1771, to that part of the business of his friend and 
 " patron, Mr Kincaid, at that time his Majesty's printer 
 " for Scotland, which was not connected with the patent 
 M of King's printer. He continued in this business 
 " for the long period of forty-four years, and was con- 
 " cerned in all the principal publications during that 
 " time. 
 
 " He was frequently in the magistracy of this city, 
 " and was solicited, in the year 1811, to accept the of- 
 " fice of Lord Provost, which, we believe, he did with 
 " reluctance, and against the advice of his private friends, 
 " as, both from his habits and advanced time of life, 
 '* he felt himself then unsuited for so public a situation. 
 " But he yielded to the wishes of his friends in the 
 'f Town- Council. 
 
 ** About a year ago, Mr Creech was seized with an 
 *' illness, which gradually increased, and has at last prov- 
 " ed fatal. In losing him, the city has certainly lost one 
 I* of its ornaments. But it was not in public so much 
 " as in private life that he shone chiefly conspicuous. 
 " His conversational talents, whether the subject was 
 " gay, or serious, or learned ; his universal good-hu- 
 ff mour and pleasantry j and his unrivalled talent in 
 
 10
 
 LIFE OF MR CREECH. 
 
 xli 
 
 " describing to a social party the peculiarities of eccen- 
 " trie character, will be long remembered by the nu- 
 " merous circles to whom his many pleasing qualities so 
 {t much endeared him, and who now so sincerely regret 
 " that he is lost ;o them for ever.'* 
 
 En./Ttital Irr TV />>* *fci. r
 
 I 
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 In the month of March 1782, the ministry, who 
 had long held the reins of government, were for- 
 ced to give up the direction of state affairs to a 
 powerful opposition. Want of success, in such 
 a constitution as the British, will always occa- 
 sion discontents, and a change of men will be 
 held as the best means of insuring more fortunate 
 measures. 
 
 Lord North, who was appointed prime mini- 
 ster in February 1770, and had stood the storm 
 of opposition for twelve years, was forced to re- 
 tire from his station, thanking the House of Com- 
 mons for the honourable support they had given 
 him during so long a period, and in so many try- 
 ing situations. He expressed his grateful sense 
 of their partiality and forbearance on many oc- 
 casions. A successor (he said) of greater abili- 
 
 A
 
 2 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ties, of better judgment, and more qualified for 
 his situation, was easy to be found ; a succes- 
 sor more zealously attached to the interests of 
 his country, more anxious to promote them 
 more loyal to his sovereign, and more desirous 
 of preserving the constitution whole and entire, 
 he might be allowed to say, could not so easily 
 be found. 
 
 On the 30th of March, the Marquis of Rock- 
 ingham was appointed First Lord of the Trea- 
 sury the Earl of Shelburne and Mr Charles 
 Fox Secretaries of State Admiral Keppel First 
 Lord of the Admiralty the Duke of Richmond 
 Master of the Ordnance Mr Burke Paymaster 
 of the Forces Colonel Barre Treasurer of the 
 Navy, &c. &c. 
 
 The first business in which the new ministry 
 engaged, was taking measures for making peace 
 with America, and opening negotiations for 
 peace with France and Holland. Admiral Rod- 
 ney was recalled, who had recently obtained the 
 most glorious victory over the French that the 
 history of Britain records, and Admiral Pigot 
 sent to take the command of the victorious fleet. 
 Mr Burke brought in a bill for the retrenchment 
 of the civil list expenditure, and a system of pub- 
 lic economy, by which the board of police in 
 Scotland was abolished, and its revenue (as pub-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. $ 
 
 licly affirmed) was divided in pensions to Mr 
 Burke and Mr Barrel 
 
 The friends of the new ministry poured in con- 
 gratulatory addresses to the throne on the change 
 of men and measures. Every gazette teemed 
 with addresses from all quarters. The contagion 
 seemed universal in the south part of the island, 
 and in a short time reached the north like the in- 
 fluenza, which accompanied it. The first loyal 
 address (and it was the last) from Scotland on 
 the subject, proceeded from the county nearest 
 to England. The example was strenuously urg- 
 ed in Edinburgh by the friends of the new mini- 
 stry, and a meeting called by public advertise- 
 ment for the purpose ; and, had it carried, would 
 probably have been followed by the counties 
 and boroughs throughout Scotland. 
 
 To prevent the effects of precipitate clamour 
 and party animosities, the following advertise- 
 ment was inserted in the Edinburgh newspapers, 
 which proved effectual in stopping the address 
 (which was written by the late ingenious Mr 
 Crosbie), and there were no others proposed, 
 either from England or Scotland, after the publ- 
 ication.
 
 4 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 MEETING OF RESPECTABLE 
 CITIZENS. 
 
 " Edinburgh, June 17, 1782. 
 
 " In consequence of repeated advertisements 
 and hand-bills, setting forth, "That it would be 
 " proper for the inhabitants of this city to pre- 
 " sent an Address to his Majesty, on the late 
 " change of men and measures," a number of 
 respectable citizens, friends to the civil and re- 
 ligious rights of the British constitution, met, to 
 consider of the propriety of making such an ad- 
 dress at this time, when, after due deliberation, 
 they came to the following resolutions : 
 
 f Resolved unanimously, 
 
 " 1. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 That an address on the late change of men and 
 measures should be delayed till they are better 
 known ; as experience has frequently rendered 
 precipitate addresses ridiculous. 
 
 " II. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 that the peace with Holland and America, the 
 promises of which contributed so much to the 
 change of men, are measures yet unaccomplish- 
 ed, and have been more unpromising since the 
 late change than at any other period, till the re- 
 cent successes in the East and West Indies. 
 
 <c III. That it is the opinion of this meeting,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 5 
 
 that the late success of his Majesty's arms, be- 
 longs to the appointments and the measures of 
 the late administration. 
 
 " IV. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 That the recal of the gallant and successful Ad- 
 miral Rodney, in the hour of victory and pursuit, 
 is none of the measures, produced by the change 
 of men, for which an address should be presented 
 to his Majesty. * 
 
 " V. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 that the personal interference of a minister, in 
 matters of election, does net correspond with 
 that freedom and independence of Parliament so 
 warmly contended for, or that purity of conduct 
 the nation was led to expect upon a change of 
 men ; and is therefore none of the measures for 
 which a loyal address should now be presented. f 
 
 lt VI. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 that the distinction made between the English- 
 man, or elector, and the minister, interfering in 
 an election, though one and the same person, is 
 
 * The first act of the new ministry was to recal Admiral 
 Rodney, immediately after his defeating the French fleet in the 
 West Indies, on the 12th of April. 
 
 t This alludes to Mr Fox's speeches in Parliament, and his 
 personal attendance on the Hustings, at Covent Garden, at the 
 election, and his explanation afterwards of his conduct, in the 
 House of Commons, when he said, that he had attended as an 
 Englishman, not as the Minister.
 
 
 
 V EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 neither sound logic nor sound morality ; and 
 were such system to be the rule of action, judges 
 might dispense villainy for justice, and all moral 
 distinctions would be at an end. Therefore, 
 that such principles in ministers should be none 
 of the reasons for presenting an address on the 
 change of men. 
 
 " VII. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 that the rejection of the Scots militia bill is no 
 proof that this country has obtained liberal-mind- 
 ed friends by the change of men ; but that the 
 terms on which they proposed the bill should 
 pass were highly unjust, and would have been 
 violently oppressive. Therefore, that such an 
 affront to the country should be none of those 
 measures for which an address should at this 
 
 * 
 
 time be presented. 
 
 " VIII. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 that the only measure that can yet be made the 
 foundation of an address since the change of men 
 is, the reduction of his Majesty's civil list ; and 
 as his Majesty, in all probability, has not yet 
 thought proper to thank his servants for this 
 piece of attention to economy, it cannot, with 
 any propriety, be made the foundation of a loyal 
 address that would be graciously received. 
 
 " IX. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 that concerning the great plan of public eco-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. V 
 
 nomy, much has been promised, and very little 
 performed ; and that even the famous retrenching 
 bill has been wonderfully retrenched since the 
 late change of men. That the board of police 
 in Scotland has been abolished, although places 
 of less utility have been preserved in England. * 
 Therefore that this country has no good reason 
 to address the throne at present, upon account 
 of the change of men, or their measures. 
 
 " X. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 that the proposed loyal address would be pre- 
 mature, and, as it might have the appearance of 
 insult to Majesty, it ought to be suppressed. 
 
 " XI. That it is the opinion of this meeting, 
 that every measure that shall tend to preserve 
 the rights of our valuable constitution, or that 
 shall be conducive to the honour,, the dignity, or 
 the prosperity of the nation, deserves the appro- 
 bation and support of every good citizen ; and 
 that every member of the state should be jealous 
 of innovations, cautious of being misled by party, 
 and careful not to become the tool of faction." 
 
 These resolutions created much speculation; 
 
 * The board of police was abolished, and an equivalent sum 
 given as a pension to Colonel Barre, whose eloquence had been 
 chiefly exerted against pensions crying up economy, and re- 
 duction of the civil list.
 
 8 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 and it was not generally known that there had 
 been no such meeting of citizens, till many 
 months after the publication. They were the 
 subject of much controversy in the London 
 papers, and, coinciding with the general sense 
 of the nation, put a stop to the progress of 
 the loyal addresses. The Public Advertiser of 
 London took notice of them in the following 
 terms : 
 
 *' The resolutions of the Citizens of Edinburgh 
 appear to possess every mark of spirit and cool 
 determination, requisite to be faithfully followed 
 and adhered to in the present situation of affairs. 
 The intrepid sentiments of independency which 
 run through the whole, and the greatness of soul 
 which is exhibited in every part of them, com- 
 municate to the understanding and impress the 
 mind with a very favourable and advantageous 
 idea of the dispassionate wisdom of that meeting. 
 This is the true manner of proceeding, and it is 
 sincerely to be wished it was adopted all over 
 Scotland. The resolutions alluded to do not 
 taste of, nor bear any resemblance to, that spe- 
 cies of servile cringing, and unbecoming actions, 
 which many of the Scots representatives practise 
 so much at court, to the infinite dishonour of 
 their country." 
 
 These resolutions were followed by the follow-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 9 
 
 ing supposed debate upon the subject, which 
 was then much agitated. 
 
 DEBATE 
 
 On the Loyal Address on the change of Men and 
 Measures, and Lord Shelbume's Plan of put- 
 ting Arms into the hands of the People of 
 Scotland. 
 
 There is a club of us who meet three times a 
 week to listen to the best reader of the newspa- 
 per who happens to be present. We perceived 
 by a late paper, that the famous loyal address 
 for what it is supposed his Majesty's new mini- 
 sters will do, is travelling about in great distress 
 for names, and that it has received a respite of 
 ten days, in hopes of finding some friends. Our 
 club happening to sit later last night than usual, 
 fell upon the subject, and many of our members, 
 fired with the love of liquor and their country, 
 were led to take up the consideration of the 
 propriety of such an address at this time, which 
 brought on a very warm debate. 
 
 Tom Buckskin, the breeches-maker, was the 
 first who spoke. He insisted there could be no 
 such address really intended ; for he had traced 
 it from lying under a crucible in the Parliament
 
 10 BDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 square, through all its stages, to the place of its 
 present lodgement with an obscure printer. 
 What, said he, with great vehemence (for he 
 is a violent and a vulgar man), could an address 
 really intended for a King be treated with such 
 indignity, unless the royal water-closet wanted 
 a supply, and people knew not how to make a 
 present of waste paper, without the awkward 
 form of an address. Besides, Sir, in one of our 
 late papers, we were told, from the best authori- 
 ty, as was said, that a Peer of the realm had 
 signed this address ; yet, in the succeeding pa- 
 per, we were assured, that this information was 
 a scandalous falsehood. Are these, Mr Preses, 
 the proceedings of gentlemen, acting for the 
 good of their country r Sir, I say, it must be 
 some vile imposition, and it is a shame to this 
 metropolis to allow it to be supposed to be real. 
 
 Sam. Bark, who is one of the richest men 
 amongst us, next rose. He spoke fluently, for 
 he can multiply words amazingly. He went 
 over the whole political ground for many years 
 past. 
 
 He said, if we had peace with America, al- 
 though we should thereby lose half of the em- 
 pire, and had incurred many millions of expence 
 in her protection and defence, yet we would 
 have raw hides much cheaper, and could supply
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 11 
 
 the markets with leather in greater quantities, 
 and at lower rates, than in our present cursed 
 ruinous situation. He hoped much from the 
 change of men and measures, and therefore 
 wished well to the address. He said it was a 
 real address j for though he had not signed the 
 address himself, yet two fine boys of his ac- 
 quaintance, who were learning round text with 
 Mr Mouldwarp, had signed it ; and he advised 
 the whole club, who could write, to follow their 
 example*. 
 
 He was followed by Alpin M'Alpin, lately 
 arrived from the heights of Argyleshire, and 
 settled in the neighbourhood as a small grocer. 
 This speaker, not being much master of the 
 English language, and the club as little masters 
 of the Gaelic, it is difficult to give an account of 
 what he said. He seemed, however, to be in a 
 violent passion at the American war ; for he had 
 lost two second cousins, " bra' fallows," by it, 
 who had never been mentioned in the Lon- 
 don Gazette j and the late ministry had never 
 thought proper to make him a commissioner. 
 He hoped better things from the new ones, and 
 he would sign the address; though it was his 
 
 * It was said, that many school-boys had signed the address, 
 to make a show of names.
 
 12 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 opinion, that it should have been written in 
 Gaelic. 
 
 The next that followed was Will Barm, the 
 brewer, a very great politician indeed ! He went 
 to the very root of the matter. He asserted 
 roundly, that the last minisiers were all a pack 
 of clayheads 1 He spoke of the Roman his- 
 tory, contrasted the battles of Cannae and Ac- 
 tium with that of Bunker's Hill and Rodney's 
 late trifling advantage. He proceeded to prove, 
 that America, although a part of the British 
 empire, and protected at the expence of the 
 mother country, and under the same just and 
 equal laws, had no obligation to contribute any 
 part towards the exigencies of government, 
 when she had arms in her hands, and a power 
 to resist. He insisted, that the recent example 
 of Ireland corroborated his argument, and, there- 
 fore, that the late ministers, who had presumed 
 to preserve the empire entire under the same 
 laws, for the good of the whole, were short- 
 sighted, wicked, profligate, abandoned, blunder- 
 ing blockheads. He then proceeded to show 
 how matters should be conducted, and that, if he 
 had the management, nothing could possibly go 
 wrong. He here took the command of the 
 grand fleet, and, before he had brought it back 
 to Spithead, he had burnt Paris, taken his Most
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 13 
 
 Christian Majesty prisoner at Versailles, and 
 sent that great and good ally in a present to his 
 friends, the worthy Congress. He had made 
 Holland a pool of water, and banished the Spa- 
 niards to Africa. He then allotted the mines of 
 Potosi to pay the national debt ; and concluded 
 with taking the tax off malt and strong beer. 
 
 Here the preses reminded the club, that they 
 too much resembled the House of Commons, by 
 wandering from the subject, taking narrow par- 
 tial views, and drawing the attention of the 
 meeting to trivial extraneous circumstances, of 
 no importance to the object of the debate. It 
 was not proper, he said, for gentlemen to be 
 considering their own little matters or connec- 
 tions, when the great business of the nation was 
 the subject of their consideration. Although 
 such liberties were allowed in the House of 
 Commons, they should not be permitted here, 
 while he had the honour of sitting in the chair. 
 He desired gentlemen to keep strictly to the 
 subject in debate. 
 
 The next who rose was Tom Touch-hole, 
 the gunsmith, a blunderbuss of a fellow as ever 
 lived. He said he would speak strictly to the 
 question of the address ; but, first, says he, 
 Mr Preses, What is become of Lord Shel-
 
 14 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 burne's arming plan ? * The last speaker, Sir, 
 in my opinion, has clearly proved, from the in- 
 stances of America and Ireland, that no coun- 
 try, when possessed of arms, and the knowledge 
 of using them, should be under an obligation 
 to obey any government but what they please. 
 This, Sir, is the glorious liberty of the subject. 
 Sir, I insist upon it, that, were the people of 
 Scotland armed, affairs in this kingdom would 
 have a very different aspect, and many manu- 
 factures, which are now at a low ebb (such as 
 my own), would be greatly encouraged, and, 
 consequently, much good would accrue to the 
 country. The measure, Sir, is a popular one, 
 and will meet with the approbation of thousands. 
 When tenants, Sir, cannot pay their rents, and 
 are threatened to be distressed by their landlords, 
 they will present their firelocks, and tell them, 
 they have no right to demand money from peo- 
 ple who have arms in their hands. Are not the 
 new ministers, who are the stewards of the na- 
 
 * In the Edinburgh Evening Courant, June 10, 1782, the 
 plan for arming the people is given at full length by the She- 
 riff of the county. The principal towns were to furnish a cer- 
 tain number of companies arms and ammunition were to be 
 furnished by Government magazines for arms and ammuni- 
 tion were to be erected in every town and village, &c.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 15 
 
 tion, granting every thing demanded by Ameri- 
 ca and Ireland for this very reason ? Sir, you 
 may talk of law and justice as long as you 
 please j but I maintain, that a gun and a bayo- 
 net is the most convincing of all arguments. 
 
 When the people are armed, Sir, shew me the 
 boldest patron in Scotland that will venture to, 
 give a presentation that is not agreeable to the 
 mob. The ministers of the gospel, Sir, will 
 then become commanding-officers, and, instead 
 of peace, they will bring us a sword ; and in 
 whose hands can the rights and morals of the 
 people be so properly placed ? Then, Sir, the 
 eighty-five societies in Glasgow, and the Pro- 
 testant association, may cut the throats of all the 
 poor Papists with impunity, in retaliation for St 
 Bartholomew's day, that " righteousness may 
 run down the streets as a stream, and judgment 
 as a mighty river," as the clergy themselves 
 
 often tell us. Here he was called to order ; 
 
 but Touch-hole declared, he would not be inter- 
 rupted, and insisted on his privilege. He pro- 
 ceeded. Will the people then pay any taxes 
 but what they please ? 1 believe not ; witness 
 America and Ireland ! Will the Lord Provost 
 and Magistrates, with their white wands, be able 
 to command the populace ? Sir, let me tell you, 
 that white wands and velvet coats are poor de-
 
 16 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 fences against guns and bayonets. This country 
 will then be as free and independent as either 
 America or Ireland j and the ministers who 
 grant all we ask, because they cannot refuse, 
 will become as popular in Scotland as the pre- 
 sent ministry are with the advocates for the 
 rebels and the Irish. I must own, Sir, that the 
 last ministry were for preserving the empire en- 
 tire, and for diffusing good laws among an 
 united and a happy people. But are not the 
 present much better, who, by a glorious opposi- 
 tion drove out these unsuccessful men, and who 
 now will allow the empire to be broken into as 
 many independencies as there are parishes; nay, 
 who will permit every man to be independent, 
 rather than lose their popularity or their places? 
 I say, Sir, that this independency of the indivi- 
 dual is the right of every free-born subject No ! 
 not subject, Mr Preses, that is not the word, for 
 that implies dependence ; but every man who 
 can carry a musket, I meant to say ; for which 
 no word that I know of answers but soldier, and 
 yet that is not the thing. However, for these 
 weighty reasons, I vote for the address. 
 
 When Touch-hole, the gunsmith, had ended, 
 Squire Balderdash rose, and begged permission 
 to speak, though he was there but as a visitor. 
 The Preses informed him, that liberty and de-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 17 
 
 corum were the principles of his government, 
 and he might proceed. He then set out, in a 
 singularly uncouth tone of voice, and went into 
 many strange vagaries. He took a very wide 
 view of the question. He went back to Magna 
 Charta, then spoke much of the kirk and the 
 constitution, the Bill of Rights, the omnipotence 
 of the people, and the impotence and insigni- 
 ficance of majesty. He said, it was the glorious 
 and undoubted right of the people to address or 
 petition the Throne upon all occasions even of 
 a chimney-sweeper, if he judged the measures 
 of government ill conducted. People, says he, 
 are struck with a sort of awe at the name of 
 king ! Let me endeavour to remove that slavish 
 feeling. Pray, gentlemen, what is a king ? 
 Why, he is no more than a chief magistrate, like 
 the provost of a borough, or rather the deacon 
 of an incorporation. It is the voice of the peo- 
 ple that elects the king, as well as them. He 
 holds the throne, gentlemen, by your consent ; 
 and, believe me, every one of you is greater 
 than a king. At this many of the members 
 bridled up, and stared at each other with magni- 
 ficent surprise. This gave ardour to the speak- 
 er. Yes, says he, gentlemen, I repeat it; every 
 man present is greater than a king, if you knew 
 and felt your own dignity. 
 
 B
 
 18 EDINBURCxH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 The electors, gentlemen, must, in the nature 
 of things, be superior to the elected ; for they 
 bestow the favour. The elected then is only the 
 humble servant of the electors. I speak upon 
 the solid principles of the constitution, gentle- 
 men. Now, pray what is the king ? The 
 king is but the servant of the people ; and, in- 
 stead of being the sovereign of a free state, you 
 plainly see that he is the lowest in the scale of 
 political importance. Keep in mind the an- 
 cient precept yvwh gbclvtov. Know yourselves, 
 gentlemen, and act up to your high dignity. 
 Let not majesty be a bugbear to you. Ana- 
 lyse it, and judge for yourselves. Strip majesty 
 of its externals, and it remains but a jest. The 
 very etymology of the word proves this incon- 
 testably to you, gentlemen. In the early 
 periods of civil society, the word was agreed 
 upon, in order to keep upon the minds of the 
 people this great and important truth. You 
 may, perhaps, gentlemen, from the long in- 
 creasing influence of the crown, have lost the 
 true meaning of majesty. Let me lead you to 
 it in an easy manner. I beg of you, gentlemen, 
 observe attentively the word majesty then 
 strip it of its externals, the letters m and y, and 
 what remains? I see, by your smiling counter- 
 nances, that you have it already, a jest, a mere
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 19 
 
 jest. Now suppose, gentlemen, the throne was 
 abdicated, as we know has been the case, would 
 it not be supplied by the voice and consent of 
 the people ? Power must be lodged somewhere, 
 for the regulation of civil society. Some 
 must command, and some must obey or society 
 would be a hell upon earth. But let this power 
 be anywhere but in the king or his council. 
 Gentlemen, the late change of men has been a 
 glorious change for Britain : They saw that the 
 influence of the crown was increasing, and 
 ought to be diminished ; and have they not 
 been industrious to bring it as low as possible ? 
 Nay, they have even told you, that it was his 
 majesty's own desire ! and we cannot disbelieve 
 them. Allow them to go on a little longer, 
 gentlemen, and they will render that branch of 
 the constitution what it ought to be, that is to 
 say, nothing at all ; and you will find his majes- 
 ty, through his ministers, even approving of the 
 measure , for he is a wonderful good king from 
 what he was, when the present ministers were 
 in opposition. Be unanimous then, gentlemen, 
 in signing this loyal address to his majesty, and 
 the new ministry will bless you. 
 
 Here Tom Buckskin was seen to turn up his 
 eyes, and cock his shoulder, muttering, '* Such 
 d d stuff. The squire contradicts himself."
 
 20 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Mr Ellwand next rose. He approved of the 
 sentiments of the last speaker exceedingly, as 
 usual ; for they were true Whig principles, and 
 the reasoning was unanswerable. He then got 
 suddenly into a passion about the words Whig 
 and Tory, neither of which he seemed distinctly 
 to understand. He was delighted with the ety- 
 mology of majesty. It was convincing to him. 
 But, in short, he possessed too much passion, 
 and too few ideas, to enable him to speak so as 
 to be understood. He was violent for the pre- 
 sent ministry, and for signing the address ; but 
 for what reasons could not be discovered. 
 
 The next who rose was Billy Button the 
 tailor, who had been sitting with stupid atten- 
 tion, and gaping amazement, during the debate, 
 and now begged leave, in his soft way, to speak 
 a few words. He was humbly of opinion, that 
 his brother Buckskin had been too violent 
 against the address, and he would Convince him 
 of it. 
 
 At this Buckskin drawing his pipe from his 
 cheek, and prolonging his whiff, gave him a 
 stare of astonishment and contempt, that seem- 
 ed to freeze poor Button's blood. He went on 
 however to say, that he was well assured that it 
 was a real address, for that Becky that morning 
 in bed had advised him to sign it, for who
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 21 
 
 knows, says she, but you may be made king's 
 tailor. Your name will be read by the king, 
 and his majesty will naturally Usk his minister, 
 who is Mr Button ? and this, you know, may 
 have very happy effects. Be sure, says she, 
 my dear, to write your name as large as pos- 
 sible, to strike the eye. Besides, says she, as 
 there have been hardly a hundred out of eighty 
 thousand inhabitants found who have signed the 
 address, and of these hundred very few whom 
 any body knows, you have the better chance, 
 you know, my dear, of being taken notice of. 
 I'll tell you a secret, says she, you know my 
 name is Tod. How long is it since King 
 Charles the Second was in this country ? I 
 don't know, says I. Well, says she, I am a 
 cousin to Mr Secretary Fox, and it cannot be 
 above five and twenty times removed. My dear 
 wife, says I, be assured I'll sign the address, 
 cost what it will. Now, Mr Preses, my brother 
 Buckskin, poor man, loses his chance by his 
 violence. I wish him well as an honest man ; 
 but he stands in his own light, especially as I 
 am assured that there has not yet been an ap- 
 pointment of breeches maker to her majesty, al- 
 though those of the Princess Amelia and the 
 maids of honour have been filled up.
 
 92 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Mr Buckskin now rose ; and, being a rough 
 spoken man, with all his good sense, with great 
 indignation, said* Button was a pitiful sneaking 
 fellow. He said he would sign no address upon 
 such an occasion, even if it was real. That no 
 wife should wheedle him out of his common 
 sense. He could live by his business, he said, 
 and he did not care for the smile or the frown 
 of any minister, either of the state or of the gos- 
 pel. He said that he differed in opinion from 
 all the speakers, but most from the squire, who 
 had spoken contradictory nonsense with the ap- 
 pearance of being very wise. He agreed with 
 Touch-hole in the consequences that would fol- 
 low on arming the people, but he differed from 
 him in the conclusion he drew ; for he thought 
 he had given the very best reasons why the 
 people should not be armed. As to the address, 
 he had heard no reason whatever why it should 
 be sent. He said that he had always been of 
 the mind, that America had behaved with ingra- 
 titude, insolence, and disrespect to the mother 
 country. That France, Spain, and Holland had 
 truckled like treacherous, knavish, lying scoun- 
 drels ; and that Ireland had acted ungenerously 
 (not to say worse) in taking the hour of distress 
 to demand more than the portion of her mother's
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 23 
 
 goods. That Scotland had alone remained duti- 
 ful, attached, and loyal, though she had been ill 
 used; and yet he hoped she would remain 
 steady to the constitutional rights of the state. 
 He said that America and Ireland, by their re- 
 sistance, had, or would have, an independent 
 free trade, and, having no taxes, in time would 
 undersell Britain in every article of commerce. 
 
 With regard to ministers, he was of opinion, 
 that Lord North was an honest indolent minister, 
 and, had he met with support and unanimity, 
 might have been more successful. He was of 
 opinion, that much of the distress of Britain was 
 owing to the very men it was now proposed to 
 thank. But thanks, says he, for what, Mr Pre- 
 ses ? Let them do something worthy of thanks. 
 Did not the House of Commons, in compliance 
 with a fit of popular frenzy, vote thanks to Ad- 
 miral Keppel for a victory he had never gained ? 
 Do not the nation now laugh at the vote, and do 
 not the House of Commons also now laugh at 
 themselves for having passed it ? One man alone 
 had the good sense and firmness to oppose it. 
 Honest John Strut ! here's his health. Sir, if 
 you will have an address, on the change of men 
 and measures^ draw out a new one ; for the first 
 minister of state, a very good man, I believe, has 
 undergone a considerable change since this ad-
 
 24 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 dress was written. * Sir, I will sign no address 
 on a change of men till I know them better ; for 
 I'll shake no man by the hand, and cail him 
 friend, till I know of what stuff he is made. 
 
 Here Collop the butcher, and Peter Pipe- 
 staple the tobacconist, and a multitude of others, 
 called out Bravo ! Bravo ! A vote ! a vote ! 
 
 Address ! or no address ! Mr Bark, Mr Barm, 
 
 and their friends, seeing the complexion of the 
 House, retired. Button was heard to whisper in 
 going out, address. When the door was shut, 
 Mouldewarp's nose was seen through the key- 
 hole. Tom Touch-hole, however, remained vo- 
 ciferating " Give me the commission for the 
 muskets, and blast me with gunpowder, if I care, 
 whether they are used against the old or the 
 new ministry." 
 
 The question was now put, when it carried 
 unanimously, No address. 
 
 Touch-hole begged leave to be non liquet. 
 
 Thus have I given an account of the debates 
 in the free and easy club, and am, &c. 
 
 Bob Squintum. 
 
 July 6. 1782. E. C. 
 
 * Accounts of the Marquis of Rockingham's death had ac- 
 tually arrived when the promoters of the Loyal Address were 
 met for signing it.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 25 
 
 - 
 
 [The proneness which people have for cheap 
 bargains is often made the occasion of great 
 impositions. The difference of price is in ge- 
 neral only attended to, and other circumstan- 
 ces left out of view. Itinerant auctioneers and 
 advertisers of cheap wares are thus often re- 
 sorted to, and the fair trader, who gives credit, 
 deserted and shunned. The following ridi- 
 cule upon quackery in various lines of busi- 
 ness, appeared in the Edinburgh Gazette.] 
 
 TO THE PUBLIC. 
 
 A person of real character (abhorring decep- 
 tion), having observed the avidity with which 
 every species of goods is bought by the good 
 people of Scotland, provided they have the sel- 
 ler's assertion that they are cheaper than the 
 best, has laid himself out to supply them more 
 honourably than they have hitherto been by 
 many advertising Quacks. He begs leave to 
 inform the public, that there will soon be opened 
 
 AN UNIVERSAL WAREHOUSE 
 FOR ALL SORTS OF GOODS, 
 
 Which will be sold much below the Manufacturers' Prices, and 
 
 Discount allowed for ready Money. 
 Among a variety of articles, too tedious to 
 mention, the following may be depended on ;
 
 26 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES?. 
 
 and such Fashionable Articles as may occa- 
 sionally appear will always be early added. 
 
 I. Best superfine cloths of all kinds. A single 
 yard will be sold much cheaper than the most 
 considerable merchant can purchase it at the 
 manufacturing towns in England, though buy- 
 ing 50,000 yards together, and paying ready 
 money. 
 
 The seller being a person of character, pre- 
 sumes his word will not be doubted ; and, 
 as all comparisons are odious, he hopes 
 none will be so ill-bred as to make com- 
 parisons between his goods and those of 
 other dealers. 
 N. B. Some veritable nine-times-dyed blue 
 flannel, for sore throats, gout, and rheuma- 
 tism. Water-proof cloths, which pre- 
 vent external wetting, and promote perspi- 
 ration. 
 IT. China ware of every species, from the 
 true nankeen to the veritable Prestonpans, as 
 cheap as Staffordshire ware or brown pottery. 
 N. B. Some nice eyes may perhaps perceive, 
 that many of the tea cups and basons are 
 not exact circles, but rather inclined to the 
 elliptical or oval form; and that the dishes 
 and tureens have not the ring of sound me-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 2? 
 
 tal. But such observations are to be disre- 
 garded. As the one half of mankind are 
 fond of show, and without discernment, 
 most families will gain reputation, and save 
 money, by purchasing as above. 
 III. Fine writing papers of all kinds, as cheap 
 as the original rags. The public will do well 
 to attend to this article. The very best thin 
 post, of just proportions and curious fabric. Ha- 
 ving the beautiful quality of being remarkably 
 thin and transparent, it is well calculated for 
 bearing ink only on one side, which always gives 
 an air of gentility and consequence to the 
 writer. 
 
 N. B. As it is not too strongly sized, and of a 
 soft texture, it may occasionally serve for 
 blotting paper, and other useful purposes. 
 The thick post, foolscap, and pot papers, at 
 the lowest prices ever known in this or in any 
 country. Some sheets there may be with holes, 
 and others greasy and foul; but, upon the whole, 
 more good sheets will be found than bad. Those 
 who buy a quantity will be indulged with hav- 
 ing it gilt, on paying for it. 
 
 N. B. No reflections are expected after deli- 
 very. No returns will be received, and 
 therefore ready money must be paid. Su- 
 perior papers at the usual prices.
 
 28 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 IV. Books of all sizes, warranted to please 
 the eye, will be sold as cheap as the price of 
 the binding. As most libraries are intended 
 more for show than use, this esteemed article of 
 luxury may now be procured for a trifle. 
 Gentlemen and ladies are entreated to take no- 
 tice, that the character of a person of taste is 
 often obtained by the possession of a neat well- 
 chosen collection of books, and that even wood- 
 en books, if locked in a deep book-case, have 
 helped a person to a reputation for literature ; 
 but here, if a book should have the chance to be 
 opened, the real impression of types will be 
 seen, and the owner prevented from the uneasi- 
 ness frequently attendant on wooden libraries, 
 that of being exposed to ridicule, and of seeing 
 a gilded volume torn from its glue, and lacerat- 
 ing his brother's sides. 
 
 Sermons warranted unpreached, written in a 
 
 fair easy hand. Also a Collection of Sermons, 
 
 which render going to church unnecessary. 
 
 N. B. Wanted a printer, who has learned the 
 
 alphabet j and handsome encouragement to 
 
 one who can read manuscript. 
 
 V. Jewellery and plate of all kinds, warranted 
 to look as well as the most costly, and to last 
 a sufficient time for the price. Handsome 
 watches as cheap as wooden-clocks, and war- 
 
 s
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 29 
 
 ranted to go many hours after purchase. Handr- 
 some mounted show swords, with cane blades. 
 Pistols, gold-bushed, and unperforated touch- 
 holes, to render duels harmless, and to save fa- 
 shionable honour. Enormous buckles, of fa- 
 shionable patterns. Long-necked spurs, full six 
 inches, with tearing rowels. 
 
 VI. Funerals performed, in a showy and ele- 
 gant manner, amazingly cheap. 
 
 N. B. There is not a greater imposition upon 
 mankind than in the above article. It is, 
 no doubt, respectful to the memory of the 
 dead, and gratifying to the vanity of the 
 living, to have funerals very pompous and 
 magnificent ; and it is thought mean to 
 challenge an undertaker's bill when the 
 tear is in the eye. But families may now 
 have all the splendour of a magnificent fu- 
 neral at a very easy rate, by applying to 
 the advertiser, who has invented the most 
 elegant slipping gilt case mountings and 
 trappings of every kind for coffins, of all 
 sizes, which are easily drawn up after the 
 coffin reaches the ground. By this simple 
 contrivance, the living may have the benefit 
 of many a good dinner, which the burying 
 the dead with costly funeral ornaments often 
 deprives them of.
 
 SO EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 VII. Perfumery of all kinds, warranted ge- 
 nuine, and every article belonging to this branch 
 of business at astonishingly low terms. 
 
 Veritable bear's-grease, as cheap as hog's- 
 lard or salt butter. Scented pomatums hard and 
 soft, as cheap as mutton-suet. Vegetable milk 
 of roses, cheaper than asses milk. Also veget- 
 able chicken gloves and Circassian bloom. 
 Elastic wigs, more natural than the hair. La- 
 dies' tetes and curls, as cheap as horse and cow 
 tails. The best hair-powder, as cheap as com- 
 mon flour. Mareschal-powder, with the true 
 spice and musk flavour, as cheap as pepper and 
 salt. Red, pink, and brown hair-powders, as 
 cheap as brick-dust or pounded tanners' bark. 
 
 VIII. Patent articles of every kind, cheaper 
 than any patentee can afford to sell them. 
 Among others, he recommends the patent auto- 
 maton figure^ which stands on the table by the 
 plate at dinner or supper, and, by lifting the 
 meat to the mouth, saves ladies and gentlemen 
 the trouble of feeding themselves. Also the fi- 
 gure for writing letters, without the danger of 
 bad spelling, of which the living are so often 
 guilty. Patent elastic handkerchiefs, which 
 wring the nose without the assistance of the 
 thumb and finger. Patent wigs, to sit closer 
 than the hair. Patent behinds of all sizes,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 31 
 
 cool and light. Patent bosoms, prominent be- 
 yond all belief/ Patent gloves. Patent shoes, 
 stockings, and buckles. Patent elastic breeches, 
 which do not require above a week to be able to 
 walk in. Patent hats, bonnets, and night-caps. 
 Patent thimbles, ear-pickers, and tooth-picks. 
 Twenty different kinds of patent tooth-pow- 
 ders, for scouring the teeth to transparency. 
 Patent rolls and butter. Patent biscuit. Patent 
 snuff and tobacco, &c. &c. &c. 
 
 IX. Genuine spirits of all kinds retailed in 
 small quantities, at a much lower price than the 
 king's duty. Rum, not too much whiskified. 
 True Holland gin, distilled by the best makers 
 in town and country. 
 
 N. B. These genuine- spirits are all from an 
 entered excise cellar. 
 
 X. Genuine foreign white and red wines, last 
 vintage, as cheap as home-brewed. Currant 
 wine, of vintage 1 780, of the same quality and 
 price as the above. 
 
 XI. Tea, warranted not overloaded with sloe 
 or elder leaves, and properly mixed. Congo as 
 cheap as chopped hay, and others in proportion. 
 
 Hawkers well treated, and enabled to sell to 
 private families at a handsome profit. 
 
 N. B. As a great calamity has happened to 
 our fellow-countrymen in the West Indies,
 
 32 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 the lowest sugars will be raised only 3d. per 
 lb.* that we may retain a remembrance of 
 their misfortunes, and a fellow-feeling for 
 their distresses. 
 
 XII. Genuine medicines of all kinds, for 
 every disease ; and, for the lovers of great bar- 
 gains, double the quantity for half the price in 
 the laboratories. A large strong vomit for three 
 farthings ; and a patient kept purging a week 
 for a penny. Jesuit's bark, as cheap as tan- 
 ners'. Extract of nettles, for pimples on the 
 face ; and the Ormskirk medicine, dog cheap. 
 
 XIII. Poison for vermin of every kind, male 
 or female, and no questions asked. That valua- 
 ble treatise, Every Man his own Vermin Killer, 
 sold in dozens or single copies. 
 
 XIV. Traps for animals of the most cautious 
 nature, which never fail from the mouse to the 
 man trap. 
 
 The advertiser entreats that the public will 
 not consider him as using the paltry tricks of 
 advertising quacks : He can assure the world 
 that he is a man of character, and his manner of 
 dealing will prove it. Sales below prime cost are 
 continued from year to year j and the great 
 
 * On the news of the hurricane in the West Indies, sugars 
 instantly started 3d. per lb. 

 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 33 
 
 sums of money that are made by such dealers 
 must convince the most credulous, that they can 
 be undersold in every article j and the public 
 may be assured, that even the manufacturer 
 himself cannot afford the goods so cheap as the 
 advertiser ; and he entreats, that ladies and gen- 
 tlemen will believe him, and trust the quality to 
 his integrity. 
 
 Timely notice of the place of sale will be 
 given in a future advertisement, and commis- 
 sions will be called for at every house. 
 E.G. 
 
 [A very extraordinary licentiousness had been 
 observed for some time among the youth of 
 both sexes, and particularly the very young 
 females, as would appear from the following 
 note, which was published in the Edinburgh 
 Evening Courant. This note had led to in- 
 quiry ; and the Printer, who had refused other 
 strictures, admitted those that follow.] 
 
 " We have received Juvenal's favour, and 
 must allow, if his facts are well founded, that his 
 satire, though cutting and severe, is certainly 
 
 c
 
 34 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 just; and that no language can be too strong to 
 lash so abjectly vicious and detestable a charac- 
 ter. But, as it is so marked, and such circum- 
 stances pointed out, as might rouse indignation, 
 we must beg leave to decline being the instru- 
 ment of the correction, however just and lau- 
 dable. We would recommend it to our corre- 
 spondent Juvenal to bestow a paper of serious 
 advice to parents and guardians on attention to 
 the education and conduct of their children, and 
 particularly daughters, from the earliest period 
 of life, if they wish them to escape the character 
 of impure. Manners and morals are indeed dis- 
 solute ; but surely a hoary head should induce 
 attention to decorum, if it does not extinguish. 
 gross vice." 
 
 [A few days after this, an apology from the 
 Printer, and a letter upon the subject appeared.] 
 
 The following letter, occasioned by our note to a 
 correspondent, Juvenal, in a late paper, is too 
 interesting to be suppressed, though we re- 
 ceive in it our own share of censure. 
 
 Sir, 
 I observe you have received, from a corre- 
 spondent, Juvenal, strictures on some character, 
 occasioned, as it would seem, by such a species
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 35 
 
 of turpitude, that I cannot help reprehending 
 your prudential reasons for suppressing them. 
 Pray consider, Sir, that the greatest advantage 
 we can derive from the freedom of the press is 
 the correction of vice, and the protection of vir- 
 tue ; and these purposes ought not to be defeat- 
 ed by too scrupulous a delicacy. That noble 
 and generous sentiment of the Roman poet 
 should ever be present to the mind. 
 
 Nihil humani a me alienum puto 
 
 Dare, Sir, to be avowedly a friend to mankind, 
 and take a concern in what respects the rights 
 of humanity. What heart will not make the 
 cause of virtue and innocence peculiarly inte- 
 resting, except such detestable characters as are 
 pointed out by your correspondent Juvenal? 
 Spare them not, Sir, but drag them into public 
 view. It is the cause of humanity, and should 
 be heard. 
 
 We condemn to an ingnominious death the 
 poor illiterate wretch who pilfers our property; 
 yet the worst of assassins in a high sphere of 
 life, who murders the peace and happiness of 
 families, who trains the young and unexperi- 
 enced to vice, and renders them the scorn of the 
 virtuous, and the outcasts of society, is allowed
 
 36 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 to walk about with impunity, a deliberate vil- 
 lain! 
 
 Some recent instances will start to the view of 
 every person acquainted with this metropolis ; 
 and to others, the marks of pity, contempt, and 
 scorn, which are expressed as they pass along, 
 will sufficiently point them out. 
 
 The female who once falls from innocence is 
 justly held to be sunk into perpetual debase- 
 ment, and the person who first vitiates the young 
 female mind is, in fact, the cause of anguish 
 worse than death. Where is the father who would 
 not rather see his child a breathless corpse, or the 
 brother who would not with joy carry his sister's 
 head to the grave, than see her in the road to 
 infamy, wretchedness, disgrace, and despair? 
 What can equal the agonizing pangs that must 
 arise to parents and friends on such reflection ? 
 and why are the authors of such complicated ca- 
 lamity allowed to continue in society, and yet 
 they themselves, perhaps, are fathers ! 
 
 Allow me to say, Sir, that you have shewn a 
 false delicacy in concealing the strictures of Ju- 
 venal. The only motive I can assign for this is, 
 that you think the exposing such a character 
 to the public is too great a reproach to the 
 country. The degrees of indignation and con- 
 tempt indeed, are not infinite} and I would re-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 37 
 
 gret, with you, that this city should exhibit the 
 lowest point in the scale. I enter into your idea, 
 and will treat it with indulgence. Let me, how- 
 ever, entreat (from the information I have re- 
 ceived in consequence of your note to Juvenal), 
 that you will at least recommend it to all pa- 
 rents, guardians, and mistresses of boarding- 
 schools, to prevent their daughters and female 
 charges from going to the Calton Hill, and the 
 less frequented walks of the neighbourhood of 
 this city, in the afternoons and evenings, how- 
 ever fine the weather, without proper attendants; 
 for there a hoary fiend has often stole, like the 
 devil to Paradise, to practise his machinations 
 vile upon the playful innocents. But now that 
 the severity of winter advances, he will, no 
 doubt, prowl nearer our doors than in the mild 
 evenings of summer. 
 
 Ye parents, teach your lisping offspring ter- 
 ror at the name ! that your fond and anxious 
 hearts may preserve the prospect of comfort in 
 virtuous children, and that they may not 
 
 fall like a full ear of corn, 
 
 Whose blossom 'scap'd, yet's blasted in the ripening. 
 
 Teach your daughters that virtue alone consti- 
 tutes happiness ; that modesty, reserve, and de-
 
 38 
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 licacy are essential to the female character; and 
 that the smallest levity that leads even to a sus- 
 picion of impurity of mind is fatal to every pro- 
 spect of comfort in a matrimonial state. 
 
 Be not surprised at the progress of licentious- 
 ness and vice in the rising generation. Know 
 that there are wretches, whose sole employment 
 it is to corrupt the young, and to spread vice 
 like contagion. Watch over your yet uncor- 
 rupted offspring. Know what company they 
 keep, what books they read, and be assured, that 
 ignorance of vice is one of the surest guardians 
 of virtue ! 
 
 What punishment can be adequate to the bar- 
 barity of corrupting innocence ? of sacrificing 
 the young and the lovely, whose artless smiles 
 claim protection, but who, by the first step to 
 vice, are irretrievably drawn into the most de- 
 plorable abyss of misery, from which death 
 alone can relieve them ? deluded too by those, 
 whose age, experience, and duties of station 
 ought to make them friends and protectors ! But, 
 
 Like damag'd clocks, whose hands and bells dissent, 
 Folly sings six, while nature points at twelve. 
 
 Monster of nature ! is it that thou art un- 
 worthy of the love of riper years, that thou art 
 
 l
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 39 
 
 thus led to anticipate the experience of children ? 
 Are there not a sufficient numher of poor unfor- 
 tunates, that thou must hunt to add to the cata- 
 logue of the miserable, and that infant memories 
 must date their wretchedness from thee ? Must 
 the hours of fond parental solicitude be repaid 
 by disappointment, and years of unwearied at- 
 tention and instruction rendered useless by thy 
 contaminating deeds ? Must the opening blos- 
 soms of hope be blasted, and the prospects of joy 
 and comfort to age be clouded with darkness and 
 despair by thy guilty means ? Shall the tender 
 affections and blessings of the parent be turned 
 to agony and curses against his child, for thy 
 brutal baseness ? Dastardly reptile ! if thou hast 
 no morals, or if thou hast no delicacy, show 
 some sense by taking advice. 
 
 Prudently confine thyself to the pleasures 
 which belong to thy period of life, or hide thy 
 head in solitude, and become a harmless savage. 
 Expose not thy hoary locks to the contempt of 
 the world, and stain not the young, who may 
 rise to honour, to dignity, and virtue, with the 
 filthy practices of an odious beast. 
 
 Retire, and amend thy manners, or expect 
 #oon to hear with redoubled freedom from 
 
 CATO CENSOR. 
 
 E. C.
 
 40 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 
 
 [In consequence of the above, a note was insert- 
 ed in the newspaper, that " if Cato Censor 
 would inform the Publisher how a letter could 
 be conveyed to him, he would have an oppor- 
 tunity of judging of the vindication of a cha- 
 racter thought to be pointed at ;" and the fol- 
 lowing answer was sent to the printer.] 
 
 Sir, 
 
 The communication (I cannot call it vindi- 
 cation,) you promised is received. The signa- 
 ture, A friend and wellwisher to Cato Censor, 
 bespeaks a degree of mean flattery, which was 
 neither wished for nor expected. 
 
 Such praise defames; as if a fool should mean, 
 By spitting on your face, to make it clean. 
 
 Nor will his compliment, as the successor of 
 Junius, be received. The applause of such men 
 
 is dishonour their approbation satire. If the 
 
 letter communicated is written in the person's 
 own proper hand, why is the signature not in 
 his own proper name, considering the request 
 that is made of an interview ? If he feels the 
 stroke, 
 
 Let the stricken deer go weep !
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 41 
 
 Inform your correspondent, Sir, that if Cato 
 Censor is not vindictive, neither is he, like Cer- 
 berus, to be lulled with a sop. He measures the 
 integrity of men by their conduct, not by their 
 professions. He knows neither malice nor re- 
 sentment to any individual ; but he feels the 
 force of that first law of nature and society, Thou 
 shalt do no injury. 
 
 Tell your correspondent, that the most favour- 
 able interpretation is allowed, without the refer- 
 ence he makes to you for an explanation. The 
 story of a recent unfortunate outcast may per- 
 haps be true, though differently related : But 
 let him not rest his defence on a case so vaguely 
 supported. The being the original seducer of 
 the unhappy girl he mentions is not laid to his 
 charge. The example is only given as an in- 
 stance of the fatal consequences of seduction. 
 He would wish to evade or lessen the censure 
 by vindication where he is not accused. Out 
 of compassion and delicacy, particulars are avoid- 
 ed. Tell him, that Cato Censor espoused the 
 cause of innocence, humanity, and decorum ; 
 and, if the purposes he aimed at shall be served 
 by his endeavours, he will be satisfied with 
 having done his duty, and will rejoice over the 
 repenting sinner, though he must lament that
 
 42 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 the fatal effects of the iniquity will appear many 
 days hence. 
 
 Tell your correspondent, that it is not the im- 
 port of his idea of the word dastard that can in- 
 timidate. The word, as used by Cato Censor, 
 was applied to a person given to mean vice, and 
 the man who is so incapable of heroic actions. 
 
 It is the confession he makes of sorrow and 
 regret that at present sweetens the ink of this 
 pen, and prevents it from turning into gall ; and 
 it is well that such kindly meaning could be 
 gathered from your correspondent's epistle, else 
 
 I should a tale unfold, whose lightest word 
 Would harrow up his soul, and wring his heart, 
 If it be made of penetrable stuff. 
 
 The loose morals and manners that prevail in 
 many families in this city and suburbs at present 
 may perhaps be a plausible excuse for a man of 
 no principle taking liberties ; but surely men of 
 probity and honour possess an elevation of mind 
 that will not stoop to baseness. 
 
 The promise from your correspondent, of in- 
 offensive behaviour, shall in the mean time sus- 
 pend animadversion ; but let him know, that 
 there are now more eyes, and those more watch- 
 ful, than the eyes of Argus, on such conduct as
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 43 
 
 has been pointed at. Let such characters take 
 care, that the sword of justice be not unsheath- 
 ed ; and tell them, that inattention to advice may 
 occasion the pillory being stained with unpre- 
 cedented infamy ! 
 
 Whisper to your correspondent (in the spirit 
 of meekness), and to such as may feel themselves 
 included in the description and censure, 
 
 Go to thy closet, and there shut thee in, 
 By deep repentance wash away thy sin ; 
 From haunts of men, to shame and sorrow fly, 
 And, on the verge of death, learn how to die. 
 
 Cato Censor. 
 E. C. 
 
 FOR THE 
 
 EDINBURGH EVENING COURANT. 
 
 Sir, 
 Your paper I always take in ; but, let me tell 
 you, there are several articles of intelligence of 
 late which you have neglected to give us. I 
 shall for once supply the deficiency, in hopes of 
 your being more attentive for the future.
 
 44 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Casualties during the course of last week, and 
 Intelligence Extraordinary . 
 
 I. In the Pantheon *, a gentleman was sud- 
 denly seized with a locked jaw, in the outset of 
 an extempore speech. It is said this sudden 
 disorder was occasioned by his notes being left 
 at home. 
 
 To prevent accidents of the like kind, the next 
 debate, we are informed, will be, " Is it na- 
 tural to eat when hungry ?" Upon this 
 occasion, bread, cheese, and porter will be 
 introduced, and it is thought the jaws of 
 the whole company will be kept wagging, 
 and the question carried in the affirmative 
 without a division. A very crowded audi- 
 ence is expected. 
 
 II. Relieved from a violent cholic, by an im- 
 mense explosion, in her bed at the battery, the 
 Hundred Pounder Carronade. 
 
 III. Died of the falling sickness, with vertigo 
 and violent retchings, a Member of the Town- 
 
 * The Pantheon is a debating club that meets weekly, like 
 the Robin Hood in London. They generally give a week's 
 previous notice in the newspapers of the subject of their de- 
 bate. The labt subject was this~-" Is love natural ?"
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 45 
 
 Council. It is thought his new way of life had 
 brought on the disease. 
 
 IV. Died of a stranguary in the Castle-hill, 
 one of the city 's water-pipes, much regretted, 
 having long preserved an unblemished charac- 
 ter. 
 
 V. A violent battle was fought between the 
 Butchers and the Feuars of the New Town*. The 
 camp of the former was proposed to. be stormed ; 
 but they beat a parley. During the contest 
 there was a great slaughter in the old camp ; 
 and, had it not been for the bridge, the passen- 
 gers must have waded through a sea of blood to 
 the New Town. This city can no longer be 
 reproached for having a bridge over dry land. 
 The public are indebted to the numerous per- 
 fumers who have generously taken their station 
 in the vicinity of the field of battle. 
 
 VI. The solicitors at law made a donation to 
 the Charity Workhouse. This is considered as 
 an uncommon accident in the present times. 
 
 * There was a violent contest at this time between the inha- 
 bitants of the New Town and the butchers, about removing the 
 slaughter-houses. An act of parliament for the removal was 
 obtained, but the money for indemnifying the butchers could 
 not be raised by subscription, and the slaughter-houses re- 
 main.
 
 46 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 VII. Lost from several of the pulpits of this 
 city, a Sunday Morning's Lecture *. 
 
 VIII. Several Members of Parliament, in pas- 
 sing, visited the academy for instructing the 
 dumb, previous to their attendance on their duty 
 in the House of Commons. 
 
 IX. In an increasing dropsy, these two inve- 
 terate enemies, Public Taxes, and Private Lux- 
 ury. 
 
 X. In a galloping consumption, Private For- 
 tune, and Quack Medicines. 
 
 E. C. 
 
 FOR THE 
 
 EDINBURGH EVENING COURANT. 
 
 Sib, 
 You are daily announcing new clubs to the 
 public j but you have not yet thought proper to 
 give ours a place. Allow me to inform you, 
 that our club is one of an old establishment, and 
 at present the most numerous in this city, and 
 desirous to be better known. It has made a 
 more rapid progress of late years than any so- 
 
 * It was customary to have two discourses on the Sunday 
 forenoon; but, at this time, some clergymen introduced the 
 fashion of two prayers and one discourse.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 47 
 
 ciety whatever. Besides, the visible effects 
 which our club has had on the manners of the 
 metropolis entitle it to some attention. If you 
 will be pleased to make us better known, by 
 inserting the few following lines in your paper, 
 I shall make a motion to have it taken in for the 
 benefit of the reading members. 
 I am yours, &c. 
 
 L. H. 
 
 Jezebel Club. 
 
 A gala meeting of The Jezebel is to be held 
 at the rendezvous on Sunday next, after evening 
 service, on business of importance. Supper not 
 to be on the table till full three minutes after 
 twelve, to prevent the censure of the superstitious 
 and scrupulous for breaking the Sabbath *, and 
 no swearing will be permitted till the tenth 
 bumper. 
 
 Proposals will be laid before the meeting for 
 having a supper or dinner with Me Wig the 
 Jeroboam the Borachio the Cape the Hum- 
 drum the Antemanum the Pandemonium 
 the Skink the Spunge the Free and Easy 
 the Gm and the 6fc. Clubs, in order to pre- 
 serve a friendly intercourse. 
 
 * A ball had been given some time before on a Saturday, 
 night.
 
 48 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Several vacancies having lately happened by 
 the premature death of decayed members at 
 twenty years of age, it is resolved, that no new 
 member can be proposed under ten, and no gin 
 permitted till twelve. 
 
 Several letters of complaint from parents and 
 guardians will be laid before the meeting ; but it 
 ought to be remembered, that the fault lies at 
 home, and not with this club. Volunteers can- 
 not be refused ; and if parents do not like the 
 manners of the Jezebel Club, they should be 
 careful to inculcate other manners, by example 
 and precept, to their children and domestics. 
 
 The present increasing freedom of manners 
 among all ranks, gives the most flattering pros- 
 pect of numerous applications for admission ; and 
 as the club are resolved to be scrupulous, when 
 so many candidates are offering, one white ball 
 will positively exclude. 
 
 A proposal for a subscription for the encou- 
 ragement of circulating libraries, will be read 
 from the chair, as from long experience, they 
 have been found the most successful promoters 
 .of the interest of this Society. It will be recom- 
 mended to all parents to give their children an 
 unrestricted licence to draw knowledge from 
 these pure fountains of information. 
 
 Schemes for defeating the absurd plan of a
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 49 
 
 new Bridewell, so shocking to female delicacy, 
 will be thankfully received. Many of the club 
 having been in intimate habits with members 
 of the august houses of Parliament, it is to be 
 hoped they will use their influence to strengthen 
 opposition upon this occasion. 
 
 A vote of thanks will be proposed to the ma- 
 gistrates, ministers, and captains of the guard 
 of this city, for their great lenity and indulgence 
 to the Society, and their healths will be given in 
 a bumper. 
 
 It is proposed that one side of the upper boxes 
 at the theatre should be taken by the year, for 
 the use of the society, by way of show-box ; and, 
 for this purpose, a subscription will be opened, 
 As the manager has hitherto been very oblig- 
 ing, his health will also be given in a bumper. 
 
 The evening walk recommended by the club 
 is from the Luckenbooths to the further end of 
 the New North Bridge, and along Prince's 
 Street. The day-light members may also use 
 this walk, if their drapery is tolerable. The 
 mendicant members are requested to keep the 
 low grounds, as the Cowgate, Grass-market, 
 Blackfriars Wynd, &c. &c. several respectable 
 inhabitants having complained loudly, that they 
 cannot visit with their wives and daughters of 
 
 D
 
 50 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECESs 
 
 an evening, without being blasted with gin and 
 obscenity. 
 
 Several discarded footmen have applied to the 
 club for its patronage in their new profession of 
 dancing-masters. Thatthis elegant accomplish- 
 ment may not interfere with the vulgar hours of 
 business, these schools will not be opened till 
 nine o'clock at night. The present fashionable 
 suppers will thus permit servants to have an 
 hour's practising before they are wanted at home. 
 Apprentices of every kind will be taught in a 
 few lessons to get rid of vulgar prejudices, and, 
 instead of sheepish modesty, to assume the air 
 degage so becoming, or the fierce stare and im- 
 pudent strut so manly ! 
 
 Hair-dressers will be taught how to enter a 
 house with address, and also how to lead a con- 
 versation with a lady or gentleman according to 
 character and circumstances. 
 
 As these dancing-schools for servants and ap- 
 prentices of both sexes have been found very 
 useful nurseries for the club, it is hoped the pre- 
 sent petitioners will meet with countenance and 
 protection at the meeting. 
 
 After supper the following duet will be re- 
 hearsed by Ned Hopeful and Bet Bouncer. 
 
 By two black eyes my heart was won, 
 Sure never wretch was more undone,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 51 
 
 To Celia with my suit I came; 
 But she, regardless of her prize, 
 
 Thought proper to reward my flame 
 With two black eyes ! 
 
 Lydia Harridan 
 in the Chair. 
 
 N. B. The secret committee will meet on 
 Monday evening at ten o'clock, at St Cecilia's 
 Oyster Cellar* -Mrs Slainakin in the chair. 
 
 E. C. 
 
 [The Summer and Autumn of 1782 having been 
 very unfavourable, there was a great scarcity 
 of grain in Scotland, and particularly in the 
 north. Resolutions of a meeting held at Aber- 
 deen were published at Edinburgh, January 
 13, 1783, by which it appears, that it was the 
 opinion of the meeting, that the dogs should 
 be instantly killed, and that no person should 
 drink home-brewed spirits, or malt liquor, &c. 
 Two days afterwards the following was pub- 
 lished.] 
 
 * However ludicrous this may appear, there is such a house 
 and sign in the Cowgate, adjoining to the Concert Hall.
 
 52 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 MEETING OF CITIZENS. 
 
 Sir, Edinburgh, Jan. 15, 1783. 
 
 I am desired, by a Meeting of respectable Ci- 
 tizens, held here for taking into consideration 
 proper plans of relief for this city, in the present 
 alarming scarcity of grain, to express their high 
 satisfaction with the judicious resolutions of the 
 county of Aberdeen, published in your paper of 
 the 13th. 
 
 The meeting unanimously approved of the fol- 
 lowing resolutions of that county, viz. 
 
 1st, That a frugal economy with regard to 
 provisions should be observed ; and that, with 
 this view, all dogs, unless those of great use and 
 value, should be instantly put to death. 
 
 9,dly, That the food of man should not be con- 
 sumed by vile animals. 
 
 3dly, That no man should be allowed to drink 
 more at a meal than was necessary, and that spi- 
 rits should be absolutely prohibited. 
 
 tehly. That benevolence and sympathy should 
 be recommended to all persons, that they may 
 supply, according to their abilities, the wants of 
 their fellow creatures, in the present distressing 
 
 It was then moved, seconded, and voted, that
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 53 
 
 similar measures, suited to the present situation- 
 and circumstances of this city, should be adopt- 
 ed; and, in imitation of the foregoing resolutions, 
 the meeting were unanimously of opinion, 
 
 1st, That all beggars, thieves, wh s, discard- 
 ed footmen, idle vagabonds, blackguards, and 
 ballad-singers, who infest this city, should be in- 
 stantly put to death, as they consume a great 
 deal of good provision, and are not only useless 
 but noxious animals. 
 
 N. B. A debate arose upon this article, whe- 
 ther Players, Tumblers, Rope-dancers, Fire- 
 eaters, &c. should not be included? and 
 some even went the length of proposing, 
 that the courts of law should be cleansed. 
 One gentleman observed, that the fire-eater9 
 might be allowed a chance for their lives, 
 by permitting them to sit at kitchen-fires 
 and ovens, provided they promised to eat 
 nothing but the dropping embers and red 
 cinders. Quack Doctors, he was clearly of 
 opinion, should be buried alive. 
 Qdly, That application should be made to the 
 magistrates, that they might issue their orders 
 to have the Lochaber- axes brought to a keen edge 
 for the occasion ; and that, instead of the reward 
 usually advertised, in the case of mad dogs, to be 
 paid at the council-chamber, on producing the
 
 54 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 amputated tail of the animal, that nothing but 
 real human heads would be paid for. It was 
 proposed, that a party of the town-guard should 
 attend with scoured muskets, to shoot the re- 
 fractory. 
 
 That the business might begin any night, at 
 twelve o'clock, at the haunts of vice, idleness, 
 and debauchery. Three butchers, one surgeon, 
 and the hangman of the city to be a committee 
 of directors to witness the execution ; but the 
 hangman to have no vote, lest he should prefer 
 hemp to the Lochaber-axe or the musket. 
 N. B. As many of the bodies would be de- 
 prived of that curious organ the brain, the 
 meeting thought they might be sold as great 
 bargains to the students of physic, and the 
 money properly applied to support people 
 worth preserving alive. 
 3dly> That all gamblers, the idle and worthless 
 of both sexes, a considerable proportion of hair- 
 dressers, perfumers, footmen, chairmen, &c. 
 and, in short, those of every class who come 
 , under the description of 
 
 "frziges consumere nati t " 
 
 ought, in the present scarcity of corn, to be reck- 
 oned vile and useless animals, and not permitted 
 to consume the food of man. But, rather than
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 55 
 
 produce any disturbance in the city, some of 
 them might be indulged in keeping nature alive, 
 till better times, by means of the ensuing car- 
 nage of dogs in Aberdeenshire. These animals 
 might be pickled and sent here, instead of the 
 annual exportation of pork, which may be kept 
 at home for the preservation of more valuable 
 lives. * 
 
 Upon this head they recommend the importa- 
 tion of 
 
 Mastiffs for Justices, Provosts, and Aldermen ; 
 
 Bull Dogs for Lawyers, Attorneys, Factors, 
 &c. 
 
 Terriers for Agents before the Inferior Courts ; 
 
 Greyhounds for Messengers, Cadies, Chair- 
 men, Running-Footmen, &c. 
 
 Collies or Shepherds' Dogs for Clergy and 
 Schoolmasters ; 
 
 Spaniels for Borough Politicians ; 
 
 King Charles's kind black in the mouth for 
 the staunch friends of the House of Stuart ; 
 
 Turnspits for Vintners, and keepers of Oyster 
 Cellars ; 
 
 Shocks for Hysterical Ladies ; 
 
 Dutch Pugs for Merchants ; and 
 
 Water Dogs for Shipmasters and Sailors. 
 
 * Aberdeen annually exports a great quantity of pickled pork.
 
 56 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 N. B. This ought, after all, to be considered 
 as a very great indulgence, as this food is 
 reckoned high luxury in many nations; 
 and the Mandarins of China, those polish- 
 ed gentlemen, extol the delicacy of a Bow- 
 wow above all things. If lap-dogs are to be 
 included in the proscription, a few barrels 
 of bread and butter fed Pompeys, Fideles, 
 and Caros, might be sent for the delicate 
 stomachs of tea-table slanderers and demi- 
 reps of fashion. 
 kthly, That all private persons and clubs, who 
 drink more than is necessary, should be watched 
 with a sharp eye, and assessed in particular sums, 
 according to their opulence or love of liquor ; 
 and therefore, that a strict attention should be 
 paid to several clubs in this city, such as, the 
 Capillaire, the Borachio, the Apician, the Hum- 
 drum, the Poker, the Cape, the Blast and Quaff, 
 Doctors of the Faculty, the Jeroboam, the Ocean, 
 the Pipe, and, though last not least, the virtuous, 
 the venerable, and dignified Wig, who, so much 
 to their honour and kind attention, always inform 
 the public of their meetings. Also that an of- 
 ficer should be appointed to take notice of all 
 dram-drinkers, lovers of a frosty nail in the morn- 
 ing, of cauld cocks, Athole brose, old man's milk,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 57 
 
 half and half, bitters, chearers, doctors, torrie 
 rorries, &c. &c. &c. 
 
 bthly, That as sympathy and benevolence are 
 so properly recommended to all denominations, 
 the preses moved, that a subscription should be 
 opened for the relief of the industrious poor, and 
 that those who did not subscribe should have the- 
 poor billeted upon them, in proportion to their 
 circumstances, till next harvest; and for this 
 purpose he proposed, that a list of the subscrib- 
 ers should be published. 
 
 By order of the meeting, 
 
 Timothy Corncraik, Clerk. 
 
 Edinburgh, Sept. 15. 1783. 
 The following simple narrative speaks much 
 instruction, and may be of use to parents and 
 youth. 
 
 Theophrastus. 
 
 A gentleman in the medical line was some 
 time ago asked to visit a patient, and was con- 
 ducted by an elderly woman up three pair of 
 stairs, to a gloomy, shabby, sky-lighted apart-
 
 58 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ment. When he entered, he perceived two 
 young females sitting on the side of a dirty bed 
 without curtains. On approaching, he found 
 one of them nearly in the agonies of death, sup- 
 ported by the other, who was persuading her to 
 take a bit of bread dipped in wine. The pale 
 emaciated figure refused, saying, in a feeble 
 languid voice, That it would but contribute to 
 prolong her misery, which she hoped was near 
 an end. Looking at the Doctor with earnest- 
 ness, she said, You have come too late, Sir ; I 
 want not your assistance : 
 
 * O could'st thou minister to a mind diseas'd ; 
 Or stop th' access and passage to remorse." 
 
 Here she fetched a deep sigh, and dropped upon 
 the bed Every mean of relief was afforded, but 
 in vain ; for, in less than an hour, she expired. 
 
 In a small box by the side of the bed were 
 found some papers, by which it appeared, that 
 the unhappy young woman had had more than 
 an ordinary education ; that she had changed her 
 name, and concealed that of her parents, whom 
 she sincerely pitied, and whose greatest fault 
 had been too much indulgence, and a misplaced 
 confidence in the prudence of their favourite 
 daughter. With some directions respecting her
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 59 
 
 funeral, the following pathetic lines were found, 
 and some little money in the corner of the box 
 was assigned to have them engraved on her tomb- 
 stone : 
 
 VERSES FOR MY TOMB-STONE, 
 
 If ever I shall have one, 
 
 BY A PROSTITUTE AND A PENITENT. 
 
 * Here rest the reliques of a nymph undone, 
 Who dying, wish'd her days had ne'er begua." 
 
 The wretched victim of a quick decay, 
 Reliev'd from life, on this cold bed of clay, 
 (The last and only refuge for my woes,) 
 A lost, love-ruin'd female I repose. 
 
 From the sad hour I listen'd to his charms, 
 Yielding, half-forc'd, in the deceiver's arms, 
 To that, whose awful veil hides every fault, 
 Shelt'ring my sufferings in this welcome vault, 
 When pamper'd, starv'd, abandon'd, or in drink, 
 My thoughts were rack'd in striving not to think j 
 Nor could rejected conscience gain the pow'r 
 Of calm reflection for one serious hour ; 
 I durst not look to what I was before, 
 My soul shrunk back, and wish'd to be no more. 
 One step to vice stole on without control, 
 Till, step by step, perdition wreck'd the soul. 
 
 Of eye undaunted, and of touch impure, 
 Old e'er of age, wore out when scarce mature j
 
 CO EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Daily debas'd, to stifle my disgust 
 Of life, which sunk me with the lowest dust ; 
 Covei^d with guilt, infection, debt, and want, 
 My home a brothel, and the street my haunt, 
 Full seven long years of infamy I've pin'd, 
 And fondled, loath'd, and prey'd upon mankind j 
 Till, the full course of sin and vice gone through, 
 My shatter'd fabric fail'd at twenty-two ; 
 Then death, with every horror in his train, 
 Clos'd the sad scene of riot, guilt, and pain. 
 O ! could it shut the future from my view, 
 Nor dread eternity ! my life renew ; 
 Renew to anguish, and the deepest woe, 
 While endles ages never cease to flow ! 
 
 Ye fair associates of my opening bloom ! 
 O ! come and weep, and profit at my tomb ; 
 To me sweet peace and virtue once were known, 
 " And Peace, O Virtue ! Peace is all thy own." 
 Let my short youth my blighted beauty prove 
 The fatal poison of unlawful love ; 
 ** Let jealous fears your every step attend, 
 Mark well the flatt'rer, from the real friend." 
 Chaste keep the mindj preserve the manners pure; 
 If peace at home, or love you would secure. 
 O ! think how quick my foul career I ran, 
 The dupe of passion, vanity, and man ; 
 Then shun the path where soft temptations shine 
 Yours be the lesson sad experience mine.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 61 
 
 LETTERS to SIR JOHN SINCLAIR, Bart. 
 
 LETTER FIRST. 
 Tempore mutantur, et nos mutamnr in illis. 
 
 Sir, 
 
 I have often thought, that it might not only 
 be entertaining, but useful, to remark, from time 
 to time, the vicissitudes in civilized society, and 
 the progress of its manners ; and, by comparing 
 the present with the past, to examine, whether, 
 as individuals, or as people, we were improving 
 or declining. 
 
 It is frequently difficult to assign a reason fop 
 the revolutions which take place in the circum- 
 stances and manners of a country, or to trace the 
 causes that have occasioned a change ; but it is 
 evident, that the first step towards investigating 
 the cause is to state the facts. A plan of this* 
 kind, frequently repeated, might be of great 
 utility, by leading to cultivation and improve- 
 ment in some things, and to correction or prohi- 
 bition in others ; while it would, at the same 
 time, afford a valuable fund of facts for the anna- 
 list, the philosopher, and the historian. 
 
 Every person, whose recollection extends but 
 to a few years past, must be sensible of a very
 
 62 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 striking difference in the external appearance of 
 Edinburgh, and also in the mode of living, trade, 
 and manners of the people. 
 
 Let us state a comparison, for instance, ho far- 
 ther back than between the year 1763 and the 
 year 1783, and from thence to 1793, and many 
 features of the present time will probably appear 
 prominent and striking, which, in the gradual 
 progress of society, have passed altogether un- 
 noticed, or have been but faintly perceived. So 
 remarkable a change is not perhaps to be 
 equalled, in so short a period, in any city of 
 Europe ; nor in the same city for two centuries, 
 taking all the alterations together. When the 
 plans at present in contemplation are completed, 
 Edinburgh will be the most beautiful and pic- 
 turesque city in the world. 
 
 In 1763 Edinburgh was almost entirely con- 
 fined within the city-walls. The suburbs were 
 of small extent. Nicholson's Street and Square, 
 Chapel Street, the greater part of Bristo Street, 
 Crichton Street, George's Square,* Teviot Row, 
 Buccleuch Street, St Patrick's Square, &c. &c. 
 to the south, were fields and orchards. To the 
 north, there was no bridge ; and (till of late) the 
 
 * What is now George's Square was in 176*3 Ross Park. 
 It was purchased for L. 1200 ; and the ground-rents now 
 yield above L. 1000 sterling per annum to the proprietor. 
 
 -5
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 63 
 
 New Town, with all its elegant and magnificent 
 buildings, squares, rows, courts, &c. extending 
 upwards of a mile in length, and near half a 
 mile in breadth, did not exist. * It may with 
 truth be said, that there is not now in Europe a 
 more beautiful terrace than Prince's Street, nor 
 a more elegant street than George Street. The 
 views from Queen Street, to the north, exhibit a 
 scene of grandeur and beauty unparalleled in 
 any city. 
 
 It is a moderate calculation to say, that three 
 millions Sterling have been expended on build- 
 ing, and public improvements, in and about the 
 city of Edinburgh since 1763; the environs of 
 which cannot be surpassed in views of the sub- 
 lime, the picturesque, and the beautiful. 
 
 In 1763 People of quality and fashion lived 
 in houses, which, in 1783, were inhabited by 
 tradesmen, or by people in humble and ordinary 
 life. The Lord Justice-Clerk Tinwald's house 
 was possessed by a French teacher Lord Pre- 
 sident Craigie's house, by a rouping-wife or 
 
 * The North Bridge was nearly completed in 17 '69, when 
 one arch, and the abutments to the south, fell suddenly on the 
 8th of August of that year, and buried nine people in the 
 ruins. Three or four scattered houses were then built in the 
 New Town. It was several years after the bridge was rebuilt, 
 before people took courage to erect houses in the New Town.
 
 64 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 saleswoman of old furniture and Lord Drum- 
 more's house was left by a chairman for want 
 of accommodation *. 
 
 In 1786 A bridge to the south, over the 
 Cowgate-street, was built, and the areas for 
 building shops and houses on the east and west 
 side of it, sold higher than perhaps ever was 
 known in any city, (even in Rome, during the 
 most flourishing times of the republic or the em- 
 pire), to wit, at the rate of no less than L. 96,000 
 per statute acre ; and some areas at the rate of 
 L. 109,000 per acre: and in 1790, the area at 
 the east end of Milne's Square, sold for above 
 L. 15 1,000 per acre! 
 
 In March 1 792 The ground for nine houses 
 on the north of Charlotte's Square, sold for 
 L. 2480 or L. 9 per foot in front, besides L. 6 
 yearly, for every 42 feet in front. 
 
 The foundation-stone of the South Bridge, 
 over the street of the Cowgate, was laid on the 
 
 * The house of the Duke of Douglas at the Union, is now 
 possessed by a wheel-wright. Oliver Cromwell once lived in 
 the late gloomy chambers of the Sheriff-clerk. The great 
 Marquis of Argyle's house, in the Castlehill, was possessed by 
 a hosier, at L. 12 per annum. The house of the late President 
 Dundas, who died in Dec. 1787, is now possessed by an iron- 
 monger, as his dwelling-house and ware-room. A house late- 
 ly inhabited by one of the present Lords of Session, is now 
 possessed by a tailor.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 65 
 
 1st of August 178.5*. The bridge, consisting 
 of 22 arches, was built the old houses were re- 
 moved elegant new houses on both sides were 
 finished the shops occupied and the street 
 opened for carriages in March 1788 an opera- 
 tion of astonishing celerity ! By this change, 
 
 Niddry's, Merlin's, and Pebbles' wynds (or lanes) 
 were annihilated ; and the oldest stone building 
 in Edinburgh was pulled down, where Queen 
 Mary lodged the night after the battle of Car- 
 bery hill ** It was then the house of Sir Simon 
 Preston of Craigmiller, Lord Provost of Edin- 
 burgh, 1567- 
 
 In 1783 A communication (towards the Cas- 
 tle,) between the old and the new city, was be- 
 gun by means of an immense mound of earth, 
 above 800 feet in length, across a deep morass, 
 and made passable for carriages in three years. 
 Whilst the mound was forming, it sunk at differ- 
 ent periods, above 80 feet on the west side, and 
 was again filled up. Eighteen-hundred cart- 
 loads of earth, from the foundations of the houses 
 then digging in the New Town, were (upon an 
 average,) laid upon this mound every day. This 
 
 * On digging the foundation, which was no less than 22 feet 
 deep, many coins of Edward I. II. and III. were found. 
 
 t See an account and plate of this house in the Gentleman** 
 Magazine, about three or four years ago. 
 
 E
 
 66 
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 is a work unrivalled by any but Alexander the 
 Great's at Tyre *. 
 
 The extent of Edinburgh at present is as fol- 
 lows : From the west end of Fountain-bridge to 
 the east end of Abbey Hill is above two English 
 miles. From Broughton on the north to the 
 Grange toll-bar on the south, is about two Eng- 
 lish miles. The circumference, by the report 
 of a gentleman who walked round it with a view 
 to ascertain this point, is, as nearly as he could 
 estimate, seven English miles. 
 
 In 1786 The valued rents of houses in Edin- 
 burgh, which pay cess or land-tax, were more 
 
 * The height of this mound, from the surface of the ground, 
 which was formerly a lake, is at the south end 92 feet, and 
 at the north end 58 feet. The quantity of earth that appears 
 at present above the surface, measures 290,1 67 cubical yards; 
 and, it is moderate to say, that half as much is below the sur- 
 face. This makes the mound, as it stands at present, 435,250 
 cubical yards of travelled or carried earth. Then, allowing 
 three cart-loads to each cubical yard of earth, there must be 
 1,305,750 cart-loads in this mound! It began by the magis- 
 trates accommodating the builders in the New Town with a 
 place to lay the rubbish ; and this noble and useful communi- 
 cation cost the city only the expence of spreading the earth. 
 Had the city paid for digging and driving the earth, it would 
 have cost them L. 32,643, 15s. Sterling supposing the digging, 
 carting, and driving, as low as 6d. per cart-load. It is not yet 
 nearly completed to its full breadth.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 67 
 
 than double what they were in 1763; and in 
 1791 they were more than triple*. 
 
 In 1763 The revenue of the Post-Office of 
 Edinburgh was L. 1 1,942 per annum. 
 
 In 1783 The same revenue was upwards of 
 L. 40,000, and is since much increased f. 
 
 In 1763 There were two stage-coaches, with 
 three horses, a coachman, and postilion to each 
 coach, which went to the port of Leith (a mile 
 and a half distant) every hour from eight in the 
 
 * In 1635 The rents within the city were L 19,211 10 
 
 In 1688, 24,353 6 8 
 
 In 1751, ... 31.497 
 
 In 1783, 54,371 
 
 In 1786 The valued rents were above 66,000 
 
 In 1792, 68,997 1 
 
 In 1791, with Leith and Canongate, 103,922 
 
 In 1792, do 106,602 
 
 N. B. One-fifth is deducted from the real rent in stating 
 the cess. Leith and Canongate are not included in the above, 
 (except in the two last articles,) though now one city with 
 Edinburgh. The valuation is confined to the royalty only. 
 Arnot thinks the real rent is half more than the valued rent. 
 See his Hist. p. 339. 
 
 + In 1698, Sir Robert Sinclair of Stevenson had a grant 
 from King William of the whole revenue of the Post-Office of 
 Scotland, with a pension of L. 300 per annum, to keep up the 
 post. Sir Robert, after deliberation, gave up the grant, as 
 thinking it disadvantageous. 
 
 A curious fact may also be here inserted. In 1634, Charles 
 
 
 
 
 
 Q 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 68 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 morning till eight at night, and consumed a full 
 hour upon the road. There were no other stage- 
 coaches in Scotland, except one, which set out 
 once a month for London, and it was from twelve 
 to sixteen days upon the journey. 
 
 In 1783 There were five or six stage-coach- 
 es to Leith every half-hour, which ran it in fif- 
 teen minutes. Dunn, who opened the magni- 
 ficent hotels in the New Town, was the first per- 
 son who attempted a stage-coach to Dalkeith, a 
 village six miles distant. There are now stage- 
 coaches, flies, and diligences, to every consider- 
 able town in Scotland, and to many of them two, 
 three, four, and five : To London there were no 
 less than sixty stage-coaches monthly, or fifteen 
 every week, and they reached the capital in four 
 days : And, in 1786, two of these stage-coaches, 
 (which set out daily), reached London in sixty 
 hours, by the same road that required twelve or 
 sixteen days for the established coach in 1763*. 
 
 I. gave a grant to Messrs Dalmahoy and Davidson, for the- 
 exclusive sale of tobacco in the kingdom of Scotland, for the 
 space of seven years, upon their paying into the Exchequer 
 L. 100 per annum From 1790 to 1791> tne revenue arising 
 from tobacco (Customs and Excise) was L. 6*2, 211, fjs. 
 
 * A person may now set out on Sunday afternoon, after di- 
 vine service, from Edinburgh to London ; may stay a whole day 
 in London, and be again in Edinburgh on Saturday at six in the
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 6Q 
 
 In 1763 The hackney-coaches in Edinburgh 
 were few in number, and perhaps the worst of 
 the kind in Britain. 
 
 In 1783 The number of hackney-coaches 
 was more than tripled, and they were the hand- 
 somest carriages, and had the best horses for the 
 purpose, of any, without exception, in Europe. 
 In 1790, many elegant hackney-chariots were 
 added. There are no other of the kind in Bri- 
 tain that ply the streets *. 
 
 In 1783 Triple the number of merchants, 
 physicians, surgeons, &c. kept their own car- 
 riages that ever did in any former period ; and 
 the number is since increased. 
 
 In 1783 Several presbyterian ministers in 
 Edinburgh, and professors in the university, kept 
 their own carriages ; a circumstance which, in a 
 circumscribed walk of life as to income, does 
 honour to the literary abilities of many of them, 
 and is unequalled in any former period of the 
 history of the church, or of the university. 
 
 In 1763 Literary property, or authors ac- 
 quiring money by their writings, was hardly 
 
 morning ! The distance from Edinburgh to London is 400 miles. 
 Forty years ago, it was common for people to make their 
 will before setting out on a London journey. 
 
 * One hackney-coach lately cost a hundred guineas, and 
 the two horses eighty guineas.
 
 70 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 known in Scotland : David Hume and Dr Ro- 
 bertson had indeed, a very few years before, 
 sold some of their works ; the one, a part of the 
 History of Britain, for L. 200 ; the other, the 
 History of Scotland, for L. 600; each 2 vols, 
 in quarto. 
 
 In 1783 The value of literary property was 
 carried higher by the Scots than ever was 
 known among any people. David Hume re- 
 ceived L. 5000 for the remainder of his History 
 of Britain ; and Dr Robertson, for his second 
 work, received L. 4500. In sermon-writing the 
 Scots have also excelled ; and although, in 
 1763, they were reckoned remarkably deficient 
 in this species of composition, yet, in 1783, a 
 minister of Edinburgh wrote the most admired 
 sermons that ever were published, and obtain- 
 ed the highest price that ever was given for any 
 work of the kind. 
 
 N. B. The merit of these sermons obtained 
 for Dr Blair a pension of L. 200 per an- 
 num. 
 
 Previous to 1763, the Scots had made no very 
 distinguished figure in literature as writers, par- 
 ticularly in the departments of History and 
 Belles Lettres. Lord Kaimes had, in the year 
 before, (in 1762), published his Elements of 
 Criticism ; Hume and Robertson had made
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 71 
 
 their first essays in the line of history, a short 
 time before, as mentioned above. 
 
 In 1?85 The Scots had distinguished them- 
 selves in a remarkable manner in many depart- 
 ments of literature ; and, within the short period 
 of twenty years, Hume, Robertson, Karnes, 
 Orme, Dalrymples (Sir David and Sir John), 
 Henry, Tytlers (father and son), Watson, Reid, 
 Beattie, Oswald, Ferguson, Smith, Monboddo 
 (Burnet), Gregories, (father and son), Cullen, 
 Homes, (poet and physician), Monros (father and 
 son), Black, Duncan, Hunter, Stewart (father and 
 son), Stuart (Dr Gilbert), Blair, Mackenzie, 
 Campbell, Gerard, Miller, Macpherson, Bry- 
 done, Moore, Smellie, Mickle, Gillies, Adam, 
 Sinclair, and many other eminent writers, too 
 numerous to mention, have appeared. 
 
 In 1764 A riding school was built by sub- 
 scription, 124 feet long by 42 broad. This in- 
 stitution afterwards received a royal charter, 
 with a salary of L. 200 per annum to the master. 
 
 In 1664 -The first academy in the kingdom, 
 for teaching language and science to the deaf 
 and dumb, was begun. 
 
 In 1764 The Speculative Society was insti- 
 tuted by six students then at the University, for 
 improvement in composition and public speak- 
 ing. This society afterwards built a hall within
 
 72 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 the University, and furnished a library for the 
 use of the members. The institution has been 
 highly useful. It can now boast of eminent 
 members in the senate, in the pulpit, in profes- 
 sors' chairs in the Universities, at the bar, in 
 medicine, and in various departments of life. 
 
 In 1783 The Society of Antiquaries was 
 constituted by royal charter ; and in 1792, pub- 
 lished the first volume of their transactions. 
 
 In 1783 The Royal Society of Edinburgh 
 was constituted by royal charter, and published 
 the first volume of their Transactions in March 
 1788, and a second in 1790. 
 
 From 1780 to 1786 Edinburgh produced 
 two periodical papers, the Mirror, and the 
 Lounger, which have met with much public ap- 
 probation. No other periodical paper of note 
 has appeared in Britain since the World and 
 the Connoisseur, in 1753 and 17<54. 
 
 In 1786 A Chamber of Commerce was con- 
 stituted by royal charter, for protecting and en- 
 couraging the commercial and manufacturing 
 interests of the country. This institution has 
 led the public attention to many useful objects, 
 and has obtained many salutary regulations and 
 laws respecting the general commerce of the 
 country. 
 
 There was no law in Scotland making the
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 73 
 
 wilful sinking of ships a capital crime, till ob- 
 tained by means of this chamber. 
 
 The minutes of the proceedings of the Cham- 
 ber are printed every year, and distributed to 
 the members on the third Wednesday of Janu- 
 ary. 
 
 In 1790 A society for the improvement of 
 wool was instituted by Sir John Sinclair. This 
 institution has had the effect of rousing attention 
 to this valuable article of manufacture ; and has 
 excited much emulation among the farmers and 
 gentlemen. Much labour and expence has 
 been bestowed in collecting the best breeds of 
 sheep, foreign and domestic, and spreading them 
 over the country. 
 
 In 1791 A society was instituted by a few 
 lay sons of clergymen, for the benefit of the 
 children of the clergy of the established church 
 of Scotland ; and in 1792, the subscribers to this 
 laudable purpose were so considerable, that they 
 obtained a royal charter of incorporation. 
 
 The stipends of the clergy, it must be allow- 
 ed, have not kept pace with the increasing pro- 
 gress and commerce of the country. It is of 
 great importance to society that some means 
 should be devised to make the situation of their 
 families as comfortable as possible. 
 
 In 1763 The stock of the society for pro-
 
 74 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 pagating Christian knowledge amounted to 
 L. 30,000. 
 
 In 1702, the same stock amounted to about 
 100,000. This fund, it is believed, is most faith- 
 fully applied to the object of the institution. 
 An hundred and sixty thousand children have 
 been educated by this society, and there are ten 
 thousand in their schools this year, 1792. 
 
 The fund established in 1744 for the ministers' 
 widows had been calculated on such just princi- 
 ples, that in 1792 the stock was above L. 90,000. 
 This stock is lent out at present on heritable se- 
 curity, at 4f per cent. 
 
 In 1?89 The foundation of a magnificent 
 new college was laid on the 1 6th of November ; 
 the old college having become ruinous, and the 
 class rooms being unfit to contain the number of 
 students who resorted to this celebrated school 
 of science and literature. So popular was this 
 measure, that in five months the voluntary sub- 
 scriptions amounted to L. 16,869, and they are 
 now L. 31,600. The estimate for completing 
 the whole is about L. 63,000. The six columns 
 in the front of this elegant new building are not 
 to be equalled in Britain. The shaft of each is 
 23 feet high, and three feet diameter, of one en- 
 tire stone.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 75 
 
 In 1763 The number of students at the col- 
 lege of Edinburgh was about 500. 
 
 In 1791 The number of students entered in 
 the college books was 1255. And in 1792 the 
 number was 1S06. 
 
 In 1777 A new, elegant, and commodious 
 edifice for a grammar-school was built by vo- 
 luntary subscription. This school- house cost 
 L. 4000. It consists of one great hall, five 
 teaching rooms, and a library, with smaller 
 apartments. 
 
 In 1763 The number of boys at the gram- 
 mar-school was not more than 200. 
 
 In 1783 The number of boys at the gram- 
 mar-school was 500. It is believed the most 
 numerous school in Britain. 
 
 In 1788 A magnificent pile of building was 
 finished, for keeping the public records and pa- 
 pers of Scotland, called the Register Office. It 
 had been about eighteen years in its progress 
 from the time of laying the foundation stone. It 
 has cost L. 36,000. 
 
 In 1788 A large and expensive building was 
 erected by subscription, called the Circus, for 
 the purpose of exhibiting feats of horsemanship, 
 and pantomime entertainments. The money 
 received the first four months of this exhibition 
 was L. 3000.
 
 76 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 In 1792 The circus was converted into a 
 play-house, and Edinburgh has now two regular 
 theatres. 
 
 In 1763 There were two newspapers, print- 
 ed in very small folio, and the advertisements in 
 each were from ten to twenty. 
 
 In 1783 The half of an Edinburgh newspa- 
 per, which was bought, in 1740, for L. 36, was 
 sold for L. 1300. 
 
 In 1790 There were four established news- 
 papers. And in 1792 six newspapers.* The 
 size of the paper is as large as any of the kind 
 in Britain, and the advertisements in some of 
 them are from 60 to 100, sometimes more, not- 
 withstanding a heavy and increased duty both 
 on the paper and advertisements. 
 
 In 1780 A regiment (the 80th) of 1000 men 
 was raised by the voluntary contributions of the 
 citizens, in two months. 
 
 In 1763 There were 396 four-wheeled car- 
 riages entered to pay duty, and 462 two-wheeled 
 carriages. 
 
 In 1790 There were 1427 four-wheeled car- 
 
 * The newspapers printed in Edinburgh, December 1792, 
 are 1st, the Courant; 2d, the Mercury; 3d, the Adver- 
 tiser -,4'th, the Herald ; 5th, the Caledonian Chronicle ; ? 
 th, the Gazetteer. 
 
 l
 
 4 
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 77 
 
 riages entered to pay duty, and 462 two-wheel- 
 ed : And of wains and carts 6450. Till of late, 
 the wains and carts could not be ascertained. 
 
 In 1763 Few coaches or chaises were made 
 in Edinburgh. The nobility and gentry, in ge- 
 neral, brought their carriages from London ; and 
 Paris was reckoned the place in Europe where 
 the most elegant carnages were constructed. 
 
 In 1783 Coaches and chaises were con- 
 structed as elegantly in Edinburgh as anywhere 
 in Europe ; and, it may be added, stronger and 
 cheaper. Many were yearly exported to Peters- 
 burgh, and the cities on the Baltic ; and there 
 was in 1783 an order from Paris to a coach- 
 maker in Edinburgh, for one thousand crane- 
 necked carriages, to be executed in three years. 
 This trade has since greatly increased. 
 
 In 1763 There Was no such profession known 
 as a Haberdasher. 
 
 In 1783 The profession of a haberdasher 
 (which includes many trades, the mercer, the 
 milliner, the linen-draper, the hatter, the hosier, 
 the glover, and many others), was nearly the 
 most common in town ; and they have since mul- 
 tiplied greatly. 
 
 In 1763 There was no such profession known 
 as a perfumer : barbers and wigmakers were nu- 
 merous, and were in the order of decent burges-
 
 78 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ses! hairdressers were few, and hardly permitted 
 to dress hair on Sundays ; and many of them Vo- 
 luntarily declined it. 
 
 In 1783 Perfumers had splendid shops in 
 every principal street : Some of them advertised 
 the keeping of bears, to kill occasionally, for 
 greasing ladies and gentlemen's hair, as superior 
 to any other animal fat. Hairdressers were more 
 than tripled in number ; and their busiest day 
 was Sunday. There was a professor who adver- 
 tised A Hair dressing Academy, and gave lec- 
 tures on that noble and useful art. 
 
 In 1763 There were no iron founderies near 
 Edinburgh ; TheCarron Company's work was 
 the only one of the kind in Scotland, and it had 
 been established but a few years. 
 
 In 1792 There were many extensive iron 
 founderies in Scotland, and several in the neigh- 
 bourhood of Edinburgh. Cast iron, which was 
 formerly imported, is now exported in great 
 quantities. 
 
 In 1792 There are several button manufac- 
 tories lately established in the neighbourhood of 
 Edinburgh, which were unknown in any former 
 period. 
 
 In 1792 Manufactories of shawls and cassi- 
 meres have been lately established and brought 
 to wonderful perfection.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 79 
 
 It is estimated that the consumpt of coals in 
 Edinburgh (on an average) amounts to 500 tons 
 per day. 
 
 In 1763 The starch manufacture was little 
 known or practised ; and only about 37,000 
 pounds weight were manufactured. 
 
 In 1790 There were several starch manufac- 
 tories. The quantity entered was about 750,000 
 pounds weight. The increase, 713,000 lib. 
 N. B. A very great proportion of this is tised 
 for hair-powder ; but the quantity cannot be 
 ascertained, as the whole is entered under 
 the denomination Starch. One starch ma- 
 nufacturer has paid at the rate of L. 700 
 of duty, every six weeks. 
 In 1763 The revenue arising from the dis- 
 tillery, in Scotland, amounted to L. 4739, 18s* 
 lOd. 
 
 In 1783 The revenue arising from the distil- 
 lery amounted to L. 192,000; consequently 
 600,000 gallons of spirits must at least have been 
 distilled *. Since July 1786, the duty has been 
 levied by licence on the contents of the stills. 
 
 * In 1708 the year of the Union, the quantity of spirits 
 distilled from malted corn was 50,844 gallons. 
 In 1760 1 46,46* gallons. 
 In 1784568,503 gallons. 
 In 17911,6*96,000! as above.
 
 80 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 The quantity that might reasonably be expect- 
 ed from the number of stills entered should be 
 thus: 
 
 In the Lowlands, 1,000,000 
 
 In the Highlands 696,000 
 
 Total 1,696,000 gallonsof spirits. 
 
 N. B. The legislature would surely act wise- 
 ly, by lowering the^duty on malt liquor, and in- 
 creasing it on spirits. Ardent spirits, so easily 
 obtained, are hurtful to the health, industry, and 
 morals of the people. 
 
 In 1763 The gross revenue of the excise was 
 about L. 130,200. 
 
 In 1790 The gross revenue of the excise was 
 about L. 500,000. 
 
 At the time of the Union there were no stamp 
 duties in Scotland. 
 
 In 1790 The revenue on stamps was above 
 L. 80,000 per annum. 
 
 In 1763 There was one glass-house at Leith, 
 for the manufacture of green bottles. 
 
 In 1783 There were three glass-houses ; 
 in 1790 there were six; and as fine crystal and 
 window glass is made at Leith as anywhere in 
 Europe. 
 
 In 1763 The quantity of glass manufactured
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 81 
 
 in Scotland amounted to 1,769,712 pounds 
 weight. 
 
 In 1790 The quantity of glass manufactured, 
 amounted to 9,059,904 pounds weight Increase 
 7,290,192. 
 
 In 176S There were three paper mills in the 
 neighbourhood of Edinburgh. 
 
 In 1790 There were twelve paper mills in 
 the neighbourhood of Edinburgh ; and a vast 
 quantity of printing paper was sent to Lon- 
 don, from whence it used formerly to be brought. 
 Some of these paper mills are upon a more ex- 
 tensive scale than any in Britain. 
 
 In 1763 The quantity of paper manufactur- 
 ed was 6400 reams. 
 
 In 1791 The quantity of paper manufactur- 
 ed was upwards of 100,000 reams. Increase 
 93,600 reams. 
 
 N. B. Notwithstanding the astonishing in- 
 crease of stamp-duty, and of paper manu- 
 factured, yet Scotland must bring all her 
 stamped paper from London. The very 
 carriage of the stamped paper to Edin- 
 burgh, it is believed, costs Government 
 L. 700 per annum, when it could be stamp- 
 ed at Edinburgh for a trifle, and the manu- 
 facture of paper thereby greatly encouraged. 
 The present mode appears to be neither 
 
 ... F
 
 82 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 just nor politiCi^-By the articles of the 
 union Scotland is entitled to have a board 
 of stamps. 
 In 1763 There were six printing-houses in 
 Edinburgh. 
 
 In 1790 There were sixteen printing-houses 
 in Edinburgh. 
 
 In 1763 The printed cottons manufactured 
 amounted to 150,000 yards. 
 
 In 1790 The printed cottons manufactured 
 amounted to 4,500,000 yards. Increase 4,335,000 
 yards. 
 
 In 1763 The Royal Bank Stock sold at the 
 rate of L. 160 per cent. In 1791, Royal Bank 
 new Stock sold at L. 240 per cent. 
 
 N. B. It would be too tedious to enter into a 
 detail of the history and progress of this 
 bank. The capital at present is above 
 L. 600,000 ; and the liberal support it has 
 given to the landed, commercial, and ma- 
 nufacturing interests of Scotland, has added 
 greatly to the prosperity of the country. 
 The original shares of the Bank of Scotland, 
 or Old Bank, of L. 83, 6s. 8d, sold, in 1763, at 
 L. 119; and, in 1791, at L. 180. 
 N. B. This bank has lately obtained an act of 
 Parliament for doubling its capital, or to 
 raise it from L. 300,000 to L. 600,000. 
 The British Linen Company's Stock, in 1763,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 83 
 
 and for many years later, sold at L. 40 per cent. 
 below par. 
 
 In 1792 L. 336 of the stock of this company 
 sold for L. 545, that is L. 162, 4s. lid. per cent. 
 
 In the year 1769 *The Douglas and Company 
 Bank was instituted, and the stock subscribed 
 amounted to L. 150,000. In a few years after, 
 this bank by mismanagement failed ; aud it is 
 said, this failure occasioned land to be brought 
 into the market, to the value of L. 750,000. 
 
 Although this loss was hurtful to many indivi- 
 duals, the country was highly benefited ; for the 
 money having been bestowed principally on the 
 improvement of the soil, the gain was lasting, and 
 general. 
 
 In 1763 Heriot's Hospital,, which holds a 
 great deal of land in the vicinity of Edinburgh, 
 gave feus * of their ground at the rate of from 
 3 to 4 bolls of barley per acre per annum. 
 
 In 1790 Heriot's Hospital feued their land 
 at the rate of from 8 to 10 bolls per acre yearly. 
 
 N. B. George Heriot, who founded this hos- 
 pital for the education of boys, was jeweller 
 to James VI. of Scotland, and I. of England. 
 He furnished jewels to Prince Charles, after- 
 
 * A feu means a perpetual grant, on payment of a certain 
 sum, or acknowledgement yearly, as may be agreed upon.
 
 84 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 wards King Charles I. when he went to the 
 court of Spain, 1623. 
 These jewels were never paid for by James ; 
 but, when Charles I. came to the throne, 
 the debt to Heriot was allowed to his trus- 
 tees, in part of their purchase of the barony 
 of Broughton, then crown-lands in the neigh- 
 bourhood of Edinburgh. These lands are 
 now apart of the foundation of this Hospital, 
 the revenue of which is at present between 
 L. 3000 and L. 4000 per annum. 
 The sum that now produces this revenue was, 
 in 1627, L. 29,325, 10s. Hd; which was lent 
 out for many years at interest. The building of 
 the Hospital, (from a plan by Inigo Jones,) cost 
 L. 27000. Interest of money then was 10 per 
 
 cent. There are 125 boys in the Hospital, 
 
 who are maintained and educated from 7 to 14 
 years. 
 
 The Trinity Hospital is a charitable founda- 
 tion for decayed burgesses, or their widows and 
 daughters, not under 50 years of age. The re- 
 venue in land, houses, and interest of money, is 
 about L. 1 100 per annum. There are 54 old 
 men and women in the Hospital, viz. 14 men 
 and 40 women. 
 
 The Merchant Maiden Hospital is a charitable 
 foundation for the education and maintenance of
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES, 85 
 
 daughters of merchant burgesses of Edinburgh, 
 from 8 years of age to 15. The revenue is about 
 L. 1400 per annum. There are 80 girls in this 
 Hospital at present. 
 
 The Trades' Maiden Hospital is a charitable 
 foundation for the daughters of decayed trades- 
 men, members of the fourteen incorporations. 
 They are educated from 8 years of age to 15. 
 The revenue is about L. 650 per annum, There 
 are 60 girls in the Hospital. 
 
 Watson's Hospital is a charitable foundation 
 for the education of boys, the sons or grandsons 
 of decayed merchants, members of the Merchant 
 Company. The sum mortified for this purpose 
 by George Watson, a merchant in 1727, was 
 L. 12,000. The revenue of this Hospital is now 
 nearly L. 2000 per annum. The boys are main- 
 tained and educated from eight to fifteen years 
 of age. When put out apprentices, an appren- 
 tice-fee of L. 25 is allowed ; and, if they have 
 behaved well during their apprenticeship, they 
 are allowed L. 50 to begin the world. There are 
 70 boys in this Hospital. 
 
 The Orphan Hospital is a charitable founda- 
 tion for maintaining and educating orphans (boys 
 and girls) from any quarter of the kingdom. 
 They are received at 7, and remain till 13 or 14 
 years of age. They are taught various trades.
 
 86 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 They make all their own clothes, shoes, bind 
 their own books, &c. There are 160 boys and 
 girls in this Hospital. 
 
 The stock of the Royal Infirmary, which in 
 1750 was L. 5000, in 1790 was L. 36,000. This 
 infirmary admits above 2000 patients annually ; 
 and, on an average, one only in 25 dies. This, 
 on comparison with other hospitals, is not to be 
 equalled in Europe. An account of the most 
 celebrated hospitals in Europe has been pub- 
 lished ; and, in some, 1 in 1 1 dies j in others, 
 1 in 13, and 1 in 16. It is daily attended by 
 three physicians ; and the members of the Royal 
 College of Surgeons attend monthly in their 
 turns. During the sitting of the college (from 
 October to May), two of the professors of medi- 
 cine give clinical lectures, on the cases of a se- 
 lected number of patients. 
 
 In 1763, one hundred students attended the 
 infirmary. 
 
 In 1791, three hundred and twenty-three stu- 
 dents attended the infirmary. 
 
 In 1776, a public dispensary was built by 
 subscription, and supported by voluntary contri- 
 butions. This charity is for patients afflicted 
 with chronic diseases, or such as render admis- 
 sion to an hospital improper or unnecessary.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 87 
 
 They receive advice and medicine gratis j and, 
 in the year 1791, no less than 15,450 patients had 
 been relieved. 
 
 The first spring water brought to supply Edin- 
 burgh was in 1681. A leaden pipe of three 
 inches bore was then laid from Comiston, about 
 three miles and a half south-west of the city, by 
 one Bruschi, a German engineer, and there was 
 no other pipe completed till about the year 1772, 
 when one four inches and a half was laid. 
 These in time were found insufficient for sup- 
 plying the inhabitants; and, in 1787, an iron 
 pipe of five inches diameter was added. A se- 
 ejpnp) iron pipe of seven inches diameter was 
 laid in 1790; and additional springs, three 
 miles farther south than the former, were taken 
 in. These pipes have cost the city of Edin- 
 burgh an immense sum of money, the last one 
 having cost above L. 20,000. The reservoir on 
 the Castle Hill contains about 300 tons, and the 
 new one at Heriot's hospital contains nearly the 
 same quantity. Edinburgh is amply supplied 
 with as fine spring water as any in Europe, and 
 Leith now partakes of the same advantage. On the 
 10th of May 1792, after three weeks of drought, 
 these springs, at the fountain-head, yielded 1060 
 Scots pints (or 4240 English) per minute, or
 
 88 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 3000 tons in 24 hours. After supplying all the 
 inhabitants, a large stream of limpid water runs 
 down the streets for many hours day and night. 
 The like is not to be equalled, it is believed in 
 Europe, except at Bern in Switzerland.* 
 
 * The increase of inhabitants may, in some measure, be 
 judged of from the above circumstance. Before the above 
 period they must have been supplied with water from pit wells, 
 of which great numbers were on the south of the Cowgate 
 Street. The increase of inhabitants also appears from a list 
 of families taken anno 1687, in the six parishes of which the 
 old town of Edinburgh then consisted. The number was as 
 follows : 
 
 In the North-west parish, or Tolbooth-kirk Families 513 
 
 North parish, or High-kirk 389 
 
 North parish, or College-kirk 470 
 
 South-west parish, or Old Greyfriars 672 
 
 South parish, or Old-kirk 625 
 
 South-east parish, or Tron-kirk 664 
 
 Total Families 3,333 
 At an average of six to each family, the number of inha- 
 bitants would have been at that time 19,998, within the walls 
 of the city. Like London, the suburbs are now more exten- 
 sive than the city. 
 
 In 1775 The number of families in Edinburgh, Leith, and 
 the suburbs, as far as could be ascertained, by a survey for 
 road-money (many industriously avoiding the survey), amount- 
 ed to 13,806; this, at the same rate of six to a family (which 
 is held to be a proper ground of calculation in Edinburgh), 
 makes the number of inhabitants 82,836. Besides, this num- 
 ber is exclusive of the Castle, all the hospitals, poor-houses,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 89 
 
 In 1763 The shore- dues at Leith (a small 
 tax paid to the city of Edinburgh on landing 
 goods at the quays,) amounted to L. 580. 
 
 In 1783 The shore-dues at Leith were up- 
 wards of L. 4000. 
 
 N. B. There was a considerable importation 
 of grain to the port of Leith in 1783, not 
 less than L. 800,000 sterling having gone 
 out of Scotland for this year's deficiency of 
 grain. But the shore-dues are often above 
 L. 3,500 per annum, independent of any 
 extraordinary importation. From Novem- 
 ber 1788 to November 1789, they were 
 L.3455, 14s. 4d. This revenue, from its 
 nature, must be fluctuating. 
 In 1763, and for some years after, There 
 was one ship that made an annual voyage to 
 Petersburgh ; and never brought tallow, if any 
 
 infirmary, dispensary, &c Arnot, upon the same data, says 
 80,836; but this is a typographical error. Since 1775, the 
 city and suburbs have been much extended ; and the inha- 
 bitants must also have greatly increased. 
 
 N. B. It is a striking fact, that either the former population 
 of Edinburgh has been very erroneously represented, or 
 the luxury of the present inhabitants has increased in a 
 very uncommon degree ; because, without much appa- 
 rent increase of population, the valued rent of the city 
 and suburbs, according to the cess-books, has been more 
 than doubled.
 
 90 s EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 other cargo offered. Three tons of tallow were 
 imported into Leith in 1 763, which came from 
 Newcastle. 
 
 In 1783 The ships from Leith and the Firth 
 of Forth to the Baltic amounted to some hun- 
 dreds. They make two voyages ip the year, 
 and sometimes three. In 1786, above 2500 tons 
 of tallow were imported directly from the Baltic 
 into Leith. The importation of Baltic goods 
 into Leith is surpassed by only one, pr at most 
 two ports in Britain- 
 
 In ^OSr-r-JLvery ship from London or Peters- 
 burgh to Leith brought part of her cargo in 
 soap. 
 
 In 1783 Every ship that went from Leith to 
 London carried away part of her cargo in soap. 
 
 In 1763 The quantity of soap manufactured 
 was half a million of pounds weight. 
 
 In 1790 The quantity of soap manufactured 
 was six millions of pounds. Increase five mil- 
 lions and a half. 
 
 In 1763 The quantity of candles that were 
 entered amounted to 1,400,000 lbs. 
 
 In 1780 The quantity was 2,200,000. 
 
 In i79i__The quantity was 3,000,000 lbs. 
 The increase of this article shews the progress 
 of manufactures, for it is believed few candles 
 are either imported or exported.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 91 
 
 In 1783 The increase of tonnage in ship- 
 ping belonging to the port of Leith, since 1763 
 was 42,234 tons ; and, since that period, has so 
 greatly increased, that magnificent plans have 
 been formed for enlarging the present harbour, 
 which is found too small for the number of ships 
 resorting to it. In 1791* the registered tonnage 
 at Leith was 130,000 tons. 
 
 In 1763 There was no shcIi thing known, or 
 used, as an umbrella ; but an eminent surgeon, 
 who had occasion to walk a great deal in the 
 course of his business, used one about the year 
 1780 ; and in 1783, umbrellas were much used, 
 and continue to be so, and many umbrella ware- 
 houses are opened, and a considerable trade 
 carried on in this article. The fashion is spread 
 through Scotland. 
 
 In 1763 The wages to maid- servants were 
 generally from L. 3 to L. 4 aryear. They 
 dressed decently in blue or red cloaks, or in 
 plaids, suitable to their stations. 
 
 In 1783 The wages are nearly the same; 
 but their dress and appearance are greatly al- 
 tered, the maid-servants dressing almost as fine 
 as their mistresses did in 1763. 
 
 In 1763 Few families had men-servants. 
 The wages were from L. 6 to L. 10 per annum.
 
 92 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 In 1783 and 1791 Almost every genteel fa- 
 mily had a man-servant; and the wages were 
 from L. 10 to L.20 ayear. 
 
 In 1763 A stranger coming to Edinburgh 
 was obliged to put up at a dirty uncomfortable 
 inn, or to remove to private lodgings. There 
 was no such place as an hotel; the word, indeed, 
 was not known, or was only intelligible to per- 
 sons acquainted with the French. 
 
 In 1783 A stranger might have been accom- 
 modated, not only comfortably, but most ele- 
 gantly, at many public hotels ; and the person 
 who, in 1763, was obliged to put up with ac- 
 commodation little better than that of a waggoner 
 or carrier, may now be lodged like a prince, 
 and command every luxury of life. His guinea, 
 it must be acknowledged, will not go quite so 
 far as it did in 1763. 
 
 The quantity of wheat made into flour at the 
 Water of Leith Mills, belonging to the incorpo- 
 ration of bakers, was as follows : 
 
 MID-LOTHIAN BOLLS.* 
 
 In 1750 . . . . 22,762 
 1760 .... 33,887 
 
 * Two bolls are nearly equal to an English quarter, or ,^- 
 parts less ; or equal to about half a peck.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 93 
 
 In 1770 .... 42,895 
 1791 . . . . 48,257 . 
 This gives the proportional increase at these 
 mills only ; for besides these, there are Bell's 
 Mills, Silver Mills, Canon Mills, Leith Mills, 
 &c. that grind flour for the city, all of which 
 have increased their quantities in proportion. 
 The bakers of Dalkeith, Musselburgh, and Las- 
 wade, also send flour and bread to the Edinburgh 
 market. There must now be above 150,000 
 bolls of wheat annually consumed in this metro- 
 polis. 
 
 The quantity of butcher-meat can only be 
 ascertained by the number of hides; and, for 
 that reason, no account can be obtained of the 
 quantity brought to the Edinburgh market by 
 the country butchers, who bring a great deal 
 thrice every week throughout the year. 
 
 The number killed in Edinburgh is as follows: 
 
 In 17758,354 oxen, 6,792 calves, 39,370 
 sheep, 47,360 lambs. 
 
 In 1776, Edinburgh and Leith included, 
 10,091 oxen, 8,305 calves, 49,212 sheep, 
 78,076 lambs. 
 
 In 1790, Edinburgh only, 11,792 oxen, 
 4,500 calves, 37,390 sheep, and 49,200 
 lambs.
 
 94 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 N. B. The number of hogs and pigs cannot 
 be ascertained. 
 
 In 1778, 'There were 8,400 barrels of oysters 
 exported from the city's fishing-grounds. This 
 trade was increasing so much, as to threaten the 
 total destruction of the oyster-beds. The ma- 
 gistrates have, therefore, prohibited the exporta- 
 tion, and even the fishing of oysters under a 
 certain size. 
 
 There are immense quantities of strawberries 
 sold in the Edinburgh market, during the short 
 period that they continue. They are sold, upon 
 an average, at 6d. the Scots pint, equal to four 
 English pints, and without any stem or husk, as 
 in other places. It is estimated that 100,000 
 Scots, or 400,000 English pints, are annually 
 sold in favourable seasons, in the city and su- 
 burbs, value L. 2500. It is impossible to estimate 
 the quantity consumed at the pleasure-gardens 
 and places of entertainment in the neighbour- 
 hood of the city. It is known that an acre of 
 strawberries has produced above L.50. 
 
 It is estimated that L. 1000 a-year is paid in 
 Edinburgh during the months of June, July, 
 August, and September, for butter milk, or sour 
 milk, as it is called ; it is sold at one penny the 
 Scotch pint, or four English pints.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 95 
 
 In 1763 Edinburgh was chiefly supplied with 
 vegetables and garden stuff from Musselburgh 
 and the neighbourhood, which were called 
 through the streets by women with creels Of 
 baskets on their backs : Any sudden increase of 
 people would have raised all the markets. A 
 small camp at Musselburgh, a few years before, 
 had this effect, 
 
 Irt 1783 The markets of Edinburgh were as 
 amply supplied with vegetables, and every ne- 
 cessary of life, as any in Europe. In 1781, 
 Admiral Parker's fleet, and a Jamaica fleet, con- 
 sisting together of 15 sail of the line, nine fri- 
 gates, and about 600 merchantmen, lay near two 
 months in Leith Roads, were fully supplied with 
 every kind of provisions, and the markets were 
 not raised one farthing, although there could not 
 be less than an addition of 0,000 men for seven 
 weeks. 
 
 The crews of the Jamaica fleet, who were 
 dreadfully afflicted with scurvy, were soon re- 
 stored to health by the plentiful supplies of straw- 
 berries, and fresh vegetables and provisions, 
 which they received. Some merchants in Lon- 
 don, who, either from motives of humanity, or 
 esteeming it a profitable adventure, had sent four 
 transports with fresh provisions to the fleet, had 
 them returned without breaking bulk. It is be-
 
 96 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 lieved that there is scarcely a port in Great 
 Britain, London alone excepted, where such a 
 body of people unexpectedly arriving, could 
 have been so plentifully supplied, without in- 
 creasing the price of provisions considerably to 
 the inhabitants. 
 
 I shall now conclude this long letter. The 
 subject of which it treats is curious, but, from the 
 mutable nature of human society, it must be con- 
 tinually varying. 
 
 It may however be entertaining, and perhaps 
 useful, to have marked a train of facts respecting 
 our own short period of observation ; although a 
 few years hence, a contrast equally astonishing 
 and interesting may be afforded. No history of 
 the time could have given such a detail. The 
 rise and fall of nations, and the progress of human 
 society, as connected with these changes, are 
 subjects highly interesting to every contempla- 
 tive mind. In my next, I shall give you some 
 observations on manners, during the same period, 
 I am, with much esteem, 
 SIR, 
 
 Your most obedient, 
 Humble servant, 
 William Creech.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 97 
 
 LETTER SECOND. 
 
 Aetas parentum, pejor avis, tulit 
 Nos nequioi es, mox daturos 
 Progeniem vitiosiorem. 
 
 Quid tristes querimoniae , 
 Si non supplicio culpa reciditur ? 
 Quid ley es sine moiibus 
 
 Vanae proficiunt? Hor. 
 
 Sir, 
 
 I shall now transmit to you a few facts re- 
 specting Edinburgh, during the periods mention- 
 ed in my former letter, which have a more im- 
 mediate connection with manners. 
 
 A great city in modern Europe has been de- 
 scribed to be " A huge, dissipated, gluttonous, 
 collected mass of folly and wickedness." Per- 
 haps this description is applicable, more or less, 
 to every city, as wealth and luxury increase. 
 For it seems to be a fact established by the his- 
 tory of mankind, that, as opulence increases, 
 virtue subsides. Yet, one should not imagine, 
 a priori, that this would always be the case. 
 But it strongly confirms the judicious observa- 
 tion of Horace : 
 
 Est modus in rebus ; sunt certi denique fines, 
 
 Quos ultra, citraque nequit consistere rectum. 
 
 6
 
 98 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 All nations are at first poor, and their manners 
 simple. As they advance to industry and com- 
 merce, to a certain degree, they become im- 
 proved, and enlightened ; but opulence intro- 
 duces indolence, sensuality, vice, and corruption, 
 and they then hasten to decay. In all matters 
 of public or private life, the proper modus in 
 rebus, is the distinguishing test of good sense. 
 
 The prosperity and happiness of every indi- 
 vidual must, in general, depend on his virtue, 
 as must that of the nation, which is composed of 
 these individuals. A corrupted empire must 
 therefore tend fast to ruin ; witness the example 
 of France, where all religion had long been a 
 farce, and morals of consequence depraved. 
 
 Hence arises the necessity of watching over 
 the manners, as well as the morals of the people, 
 and particularly of the higher ranks, whose ex- 
 ample is often pernicious. 
 
 But let us see, in a society comparatively 
 small to many others, the effect of the increase 
 of wealth upon manners, whether as tending to 
 improvement, or otherwise. Many changes, 
 however, may be totally unconnected with this 
 cause. 
 
 In 1763 People of fashion dined at two o'- 
 clock, or a little after it j business was attended
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 99 
 
 to in the afternoon. It was a common practice 
 to lock the shops at one o'clock, and to open 
 them after dinner at two. 
 
 In 1783 People of fashion, and of the middle 
 rank, dined at four or five o'clock : No business 
 was done in the afternoon, dinner of itself hav- 
 ing become a very serious business. 
 
 In 1763 Wine was seldom seen, or, in a 
 small quantity, at the tables of the middle rank 
 of people. 
 
 In 1791 Every tradesman in decent circum- 
 stances presents wine after dinner ; and many in 
 pienty and variety *. 
 
 In 1763 It was the fashion for gentlemen to 
 attend the drawing rooms of the ladies in the af- 
 ternoons, to drink tea, and to mix in the society 
 and conversation of the women. 
 
 In 1783 The drawing rooms were totally 
 deserted ; invitations to tea in the afternoon were 
 given up ; and the only opportunity gentlemen 
 had of being in ladies' company, was when they 
 
 * In 1708 The year of the Union, 288,336 barrels of two- 
 penny ale paid duty. 
 
 In 1720520,478| barrels paid duty. 
 
 In 178497.5771 barrels paid duty. 
 
 This is a striking proof of the decrease of malt liquor, and 
 of the consequent increase of the use of wine, and spirituous 
 liquors.
 
 100 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 happened to mess together at dinner or supper ; 
 and even then, an impatience was sometimes 
 shewn till the ladies retired. Card parties, after 
 a long dinner, and also after a late supper, 
 were frequent. 
 
 In 1763 It was fashionable to go to church, 
 and people were interested about religion. Sun- 
 day was strictly observed by all ranks as a day 
 of devotion ; and it was disgraceful to be seen 
 on the streets during the time of public worsfiip. 
 Families attended church, with their children 
 and servants ; and family worship was frequent. 
 The collections at the church doors, for the 
 poor, amounted yearly to L. 1500, and upwards. 
 
 In 1783 Attendance on church was greatly 
 neglected, and particularly by the men. Sunday 
 was by many made a day of relaxation j and 
 young people were allowed to stroll about at all 
 hours. Families thought it ungenteel to take 
 their domestics to church with them : The 
 streets were far from being void of people in the 
 time of public worship ; and, in the evenings, 
 were frequently loose and riotous ; particularly 
 owing to bands of apprentice boys and young 
 lads. Family worship was almost disused. The 
 collections at the church doors for the poor had 
 fallen to L. 1000.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 101 
 
 In 1791 The collections at the church doors 
 had risen to L. 1200 % 
 
 N. B. The collections above-mentioned re- 
 spect the established churches of the city- 
 only. There are many chapels and meet- 
 ings of different persuasions not included. 
 In no respect were the manners of 1763 and 
 1783 more remarkable than in the decency, dig- 
 nity, and delicacy of the one period, compared 
 with the looseness, dissipation, and licentiousness 
 of the other. Many people ceased to blush at 
 
 * It may be mentioned here, as a curious fact, that, for 
 more than half of this century, one of the smallest churches in 
 Edinburgh * has collected more money for the poor, at the 
 time of dispensing the sacrament, than eight other churches 
 did upon the same occasion in 1783. 
 
 With the best intention, a Sunday evening's sermon, (by the 
 ministers of Edinburgh in rotation) was instituted for the in- 
 struction of servants, who might have been detained from pub- 
 lic worship during the day ; but this, it is said, has been per- 
 verted by many to bad purposes, and made an excuse for idle- 
 ness and vice. 
 
 There is another evening sermon, for the common people, 
 supported by private subscriptions, which, it is said, has been 
 attended with beneficial effects, owing to the care and atten- 
 tion of the managers. 
 
 There are two other Sunday evening lectures, one in the 
 Chapel of Ease, and one in the Gaelic Chapel ; -in this last 
 the service is in the Erse language, for Highlanders. 
 
 * The Tolbooth Church.
 
 102 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 what would formerly have been reckoned a 
 crime. 
 
 In 1763 Masters took charge of their ap- 
 prentices, and kept them under their eye in their 
 own houses. 
 
 In 1783 Few masters would receive appren- 
 tices to stay in their houses, and yet from them 
 an important part of succeeding society is to be 
 formed. If they attended their hours of busi- 
 ness, masters took no farther charge. The rest 
 of their time might be passed (as too frequently 
 happens) in vice and debauchery ; hence they 
 become idle, insolent, and dishonest. In 1791, 
 the practice had become still more prevalent. 
 Reformation of manners must begin in families 
 to be general or effectual. 
 
 In 1791 The wages to journeymen in every 
 profession were greatly raised since 1763, and 
 disturbances frequently happened for a still fur- 
 ther increase. Yet many of them riot on Sun- 
 day, are idle all Monday, and can afford to do 
 this on five days labour. 
 
 In 1763 The clergy visited, catechised, and 
 instructed the families within their respective 
 parishes, in the principles of morality, Christ- 
 ianity, and the relative duties of life. 
 
 In 1783 Visiting and catechising were dis- 
 used (except by very few), and since continue
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 103 
 
 to be so : Nor, perhaps, would the clergy now 
 be received with welcome on such an occasion. 
 If people do not choose to go to church, they 
 may remain as ignorant as Hottentots, and the 
 Ten Commandments be as little known as obso- 
 lete acts of parliament. Religion is the only tie 
 that can restrain, in any degree, the licentious- 
 ness either of the rich, or of the lower ranks; 
 when that is lost, ferocity of manners, and every 
 breach of morality may be expected. 
 
 Hoc fonte derivata, clades 
 
 In patriam populumque fluxit. 
 
 In 1763 The breach of the seventh com- 
 mandment was punished by fine and church- 
 censure. Any instance of conjugal infidelity 
 in a woman would have banished her irretriev- 
 ably from society, and her company would have 
 been rejected even by men who paid any regard 
 to their character. 
 
 In 1783 Although the law punishing adul- 
 tery with death was unrepealed, yet church- 
 censure was disused, and separations and divor- 
 ces were become frequent, and have since in- 
 creased *. Women, who had been rendered in- 
 famous by public divorce, had been, by some 
 people of fashion, again received into society, 
 
 * Records of the Commissary Court.
 
 104 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 notwithstanding the endeavours of our worthy 
 Queen to check such a violation of morality, 
 decency, the laws of the country, and the rights 
 of the virtuous. This, however, has not been 
 recently attempted. 
 
 In 1763 The fines collected by the kirk- 
 treasurer for bastard children amounted to 
 L. 154 j and, upon an average of ten succeeding 
 years, they were L. 190. 
 
 In 1783 The fines for bastard children 
 amounted to L. 600, and have since greatly in- 
 creased. 
 
 In 1748 The first correction house for dis- 
 orderly females was built, and it cost L. 198, 
 0s. 4id. 
 
 N. B. This is the only one Edinburgh yet 
 has. 
 
 In 1791 Manners had been for some years 
 so loose, and crimes so frequent, that the foun- 
 dation of a large new house of correction, or 
 Bridewell, was laid on the 30th of November, 
 which, on the lowest calculation, will cost 
 L. 12,000; and this plan is on a reduced scale 
 of what was at first thought absolutely necessary. 
 
 In 1763 That is, from June 1763 to June 
 1764, the expence of the correction- house 
 amounted to L. 27, 16s. lid. 
 
 In 1791, and some years previous to it The 
 
 3
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 105 
 
 expence of the correction house had risen to 
 near L. 300, ten times what it had been in the 
 former period ; and there is not room for con- 
 taining the half of those that ought to be confin- 
 ed to hard labour. 
 
 In 1?63 There were five or six brothels, or 
 houses of bad fame, and a very few of the lowest 
 and most ignorant order of females sculked about 
 the streets at night. A person might have gone 
 from the Castle to Holyroodhouse, (the then 
 length of the city), at any hour in the night, 
 without being accosted by a single street-walker. 
 Street- robbery, and pocket-picking were un- 
 known. 
 
 In 1783 The number of brothels had in- 
 creased twenty-fold, and the women of the town 
 more than a hundred- fold. Every quarter of 
 the city and suburbs was infested with multi- 
 tudes of females abandoned to vice, and a great 
 many at a very early period of life, before pas- 
 sion could mislead, or reason teach them right 
 from wrong. Street-robbers, pick- pockets, and 
 thieves, had much increased.* 
 
 In 1763 House-breaking and robbery were 
 
 * A late calculator estimates 40,000 prostitutes in London ; 
 
 that is, 40,000 wretched human beings in one city, not only 
 lost to themselves and to society, but the cause of extending 
 destruction to others. Is it not worthy of inquiry, how this
 
 106 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 extremely rare. Many people thought it unne- 
 cessary to lock their doors at night. 
 
 In 1783, 1784, 1785, 1786, and 1787 House- 
 breaking, theft, and robbery, were astonishingly 
 frequent; and many of these crimes were com- 
 mitted by boys, whose age prevented them from 
 being objects of capital punishment. The cul- 
 prits were uniformly apprehended in houses of 
 bad fame, in which they were protected and 
 encouraged in their depredations on the public. 
 During the winter, 1787? many daring robberies 
 and shop-breakings were committed, by means 
 before unthought of; but the gang were dis- 
 covered, by one of them becoming evidence 
 against the rest, and the others suffered capital 
 punishment.* 
 
 astonishing change of manners should have arisen, and the 
 probable consequences of its increase to the state ? Vice soon 
 spreads its influence from individuals to families from fami- 
 lies to cities from cities to the empire, and an empire cor- 
 rupted is an empire lost. 
 
 In high life, the change of manners is equally astonishing 
 and alarming to the state ; witness the almost daily trials for 
 crim. con. 
 
 It is believed that one great source of the evil pointed out 
 will be found in the licentiousness of the press in the present 
 day ; and another in the neglect of religious education. A tax 
 on novels would be a salutary measure in government. 
 
 * See Brodie's Trial.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 107 
 
 In no respect was the sobriety and decorum of 
 the lower ranks in 1763 more remarkable, than 
 by contrasting them with the riot and licentious- 
 ness of 1783, particularly on Sundays and holi- 
 days. The king's birth-day, and the last night 
 of the year, were, in 1783, devoted to drunken- 
 ness, folly, and riot, which in 1763 were attend- 
 ed with peace, and harmony. * 
 
 In 1763, and many years preceding and fol- 
 lowing, the execution of criminals was rare : 
 Three annually were reckoned the average for 
 the whole kingdom of Scotland. There were 
 three succeeding years, (1774, 1775, 1776), 
 in which there was not an execution in Edin- 
 burgh. 
 
 In 1783 There were six criminals under 
 sentence of death in Edinburgh jail, in one 
 week ; and, upon the autumn circuit, no less 
 than thirty-seven capital indictments were is- 
 sued. 
 
 During the winter 1791-92, there was not a 
 robbery, house-breaking, shop-breaking, nor a 
 theft publicly known, to the amount of forty 
 shillings, within the city of Edinburgh j not a 
 person accused of a capital crime j and, in the 
 
 * From 1788 to 1792, this folly had much abated, by the 
 attention of the Magistrates to strict police.
 
 108 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 jail, only twenty for petty offences, and nineteen 
 confined for small debts. * 
 
 In 1789 A society was instituted for promot- 
 ing religious knowledge among the poor, or the 
 ignorant and indigent members of the communi- 
 ty. No society is more likely to be of benefit. 
 They print books of moral and religious instruc- 
 tion, which are diffused among the lower ranks. 
 This was a favourite scheme of the late Lord 
 Karnes, but it was never carried into execution 
 in his time. A worthy lady left, in 1792, L.700 
 to promote the object of this institution. 
 
 In 1763 There was no such diversion as 
 public cock-fighting in Edinburgh. 
 
 In 1783 There were many public cock- 
 fighting matches, or mains, as they are techni- 
 cally termed; and a regular cockpit was built for 
 the accommodation of this school of gambling 
 and cruelty, where every distinction of rank and 
 character is levelled. 
 
 In 1790 The cockpit continued to be fre- 
 quented. 
 
 * To contrast this with London, there were, April 20th, 
 179'2, in Newgate, 40rj prisoners, of whom 185 were debtors, 
 15 under sentence of death, 19 respited during his Majesty's 
 pleasure, 80 transports, 80 under orders of imprisonment for 
 certain determinate periods, and 27 for trial. This is the 
 account of one prison only in London.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 109 
 
 Before 1790 There never was such a thing 
 known as professed bruisers. But in the course 
 of that year a person from England opened a 
 public school for teaching boxing, or pugilism, 
 as it is termed ; and he had several public 
 exhibitions at his school, but few pupils. This 
 branch of education does not correspond with the 
 mild genius of Christianity, wbich we profess ; 
 and it can be looked on only with pity, even 
 when practised among savages and barbarians. 
 
 In 1792 This folly, which had been borrow- 
 ed from the south, was totally given up. 
 
 In 1763 A young man was termed a, fine 
 fellow, who, to a well-informed and an accom- 
 plished mind, added elegance of manners, and a 
 conduct guided by principle; one who would 
 not have injured the rights of the meanest indi- 
 vidual ; who contracted no debts that he could 
 not pay; and thought every breach of morality 
 unbecoming the character of a gentleman ; who 
 studied to be useful to society, so far as his op- 
 portunity or abilities enabled him. 
 
 In 1783 The term fine fellow was applied 
 to one who could drink three bottles ; who dis- 
 charged all debts of honour, (or game debts and 
 tavern bills), and evaded payment of every other; 
 who swore immoderately, and before ladies, and 
 talked of his word of honour; who ridiculed
 
 110 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 religion and morality as folly and hypocrisy, 
 (but without argument) ; who was very jolly at 
 the table of his friend, and would lose no oppor- 
 tunity of seducing his wife, or of debauching his 
 daughter, if she was handsome ; but, on the men- 
 tion of such a thing being attempted to his own 
 connections, would have cut the throat, or blown 
 out the brains of his dearest companion, offering 
 such an insult ; who was forward in all the 
 fashionable follies of the time; who disregarded 
 the interests of society, or the good of mankind, 
 if they interfered with his own vicious selfish 
 pursuits and pleasures. 
 
 In 1790 Among the lower orders swearing 
 had increased greatly. And on trials in the 
 courts of law, perjury had also increased. 
 
 In 1791 Immoderate drinking, or pushing 
 the bottle, as it is called, was rather out of 
 fashion among genteel people. Every one was 
 allowed to do as he pleased, in filling or drink- 
 ing his glass. The means of hospitality, and the 
 frequency of shewing it, had increased; and 
 excess on such occasions had decreased. 
 
 In 1763 In the best families in town, the 
 education of daughters was fitted, not only to 
 embellish and improve their minds, but to ac- 
 complish them in the useful and necessary arts 
 of domestic economy. The sewing-school, the
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. Ill 
 
 pastry -school, were then essential branches of 
 female education ; nor was a young lady of the 
 best family ashamed to go to market with her 
 mother. 
 
 In 1783 The daughters of many tradesmen 
 consumed the mornings at the toilet, or in strol- 
 ling from shop to shop, &c. Many of them 
 would have blushed to have been seen in a 
 market. The cares of the family were devolved 
 upon a housekeeper; and the young lady em- 
 ployed those heavy hours when she was disen- 
 gaged from public or private amusements, in 
 improving her mind from the precious stores of a 
 circulating library ; and all, whether, they had 
 taste for it or not, were taught music at a great 
 expence. 
 
 In 1791 There is little alteration. Every 
 rank is eager to copy the manners and fashion 
 of their superiors; and this has in all ages been 
 the case. Of what importance, then, is correct 
 and exemplary manners in the higher ranks to 
 the good order of society ! 
 
 In 1763 Young ladies (even by themselves) 
 might have walked through the streets of the 
 city in perfect security at any hour. No per- 
 son would have interrupted, or spoken to them. 
 
 In 1783 The mistresses of boarding-schools 
 found it necessary to advertise, that their young
 
 112 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ladies were not permitted to go abroad without 
 proper attendants. 
 
 In 1791 Boys, from bad example at home, 
 and worse abroad, had become forward and in- 
 solent. They early frequented taverns, and 
 were soon initiated in folly and vice, without 
 any religious principle to restrain them. It has 
 been an error of twenty years, to precipitate 
 the education of boys, and make them too soon 
 men. 
 
 In 1763 The weekly concert of music be- 
 gan at six o'clock. 
 
 In 1783 The concert began at seven o'clock; 
 but it was not in general so much attended as 
 such an elegant entertainment should have been, 
 and which was given at the sole expence of the 
 subscribers. 
 
 In 1791-2 -The fashion changed, and the 
 concert became the most crowded place of 
 amusement. 
 
 The barbarous custom of saving the ladies, 
 (as it was called), after St Cecilia's concert, by 
 gentlemen drinking immoderately to save a 
 favourite lady, as his toast, has been for some 
 years given up. Indeed they got no thanks for 
 their absurdity. 
 
 In 1763 The question respecting the moral- 
 ity of stage- plays was much agitated. A cler-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 113 
 
 gyman, a few years before, had been brought 
 before the General Assembly of the church, 
 and suspended from his office, for having writ- 
 ten a tragedy, unquestionably one of the most 
 chaste and interesting in the English language*. 
 By those who attended the Theatre, even with- 
 out scruple, Saturday night was thought the 
 most improper in the week for going to the 
 play. Any clergyman, who had been known 
 to have gone to the playhouse, would have in- 
 curred church censure. 
 
 In 1783 The morality of stage- plays, or 
 their effects on society, were not thought of. 
 The most crowded houses were always on Sa- 
 turday night. The boxes for the Saturday 
 night's play were generally taken for the sea- 
 son, so that strangers often on that night could 
 not get a place. The custom of taking a box 
 for the Saturday night through the season, was 
 much practised by boarding mistresses, so that 
 there could be no choice of the play, but the 
 young ladies could only take what was set be- 
 fore them by the manager. Impudent buffoons 
 took liberties with authors, and with the au- 
 dience, in their acting, that would not have 
 been suffered formerly. 
 
 * The tragedy of Douglas, by Mr Home, then a clergyman. 
 
 H
 
 114 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 The galleries never failed to applaud what 
 they formerly would have hissed, as improper m 
 sentiment^ or decorum. 
 
 In 1763 There was one dancing assembly- 
 room ; the profits of which went to the support 
 of the charity-workhouse. Minuets were danced 
 by each set, previous to the country-dances. 
 Strict regularity with respect to dress and de- 
 corum, and great dignity of manners, were ob- 
 served. 
 
 In 1786 The old assembly-room was used 
 for the accommodation of the city- guard. There 
 were three new elegant assembly-rooms at Edin- 
 burgh, besides one at Leith ; but the charity 
 workhouse was unprovided for to the extent of 
 its necessities. Minuets were given up, and 
 country- dances only used, which had often a 
 nearer resemblance to a game of romps, than to 
 elegant and graceful dancing. Dress, particu- 
 larly by the men, was much neglected ; and 
 many of them reeled from the tavern, flustered 
 with wine, to an assembly of as elegant and 
 beautiful women as any in Europe. 
 
 In 1763 The company at the public assem- 
 blies met at five o'clock in the afternoon, and 
 the dancing began at six, and ended at eleven, 
 by public orders of the manager, which were 
 never trangressed.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 115 
 
 In 1783 The public assemblies met at eight 
 and nine o'clock, and the Lady Directress, 
 sometimes, did not make her appearance till 
 ten *. The young masters and misses, who 
 would have been mortified not to have seen out 
 the ball, thus returned home at three or four in 
 the morning, and yawned and gaped, and com- 
 plained of headachs all the next day. 
 
 In 1790 and 1791 The public assemblies 
 were little frequented. Private balls were much 
 in fashion, with elegant suppers after them, and 
 the companies seldom parted till three, four, or 
 five in the morning. 
 
 In 1783 The funds of the charity workhouse 
 were insufficient to maintain the poor of the 
 community entitled by law to public charity. 
 The courts of law, however, and all who call 
 themselves members of those courts, pay no 
 poor's money, nor lamp or guard money; al- 
 though the most opulent part of the commu- 
 nity j whilst they send, at the same time, a very 
 great proportion of managers to dispose of funds 
 to which they do not contribute, and crowd 
 the house with their poor, to whose support 
 they do not pay. This privilege is pleaded on 
 
 * A new institution, that of a master of ceremonies for the 
 city assemblies, took place in 1787.
 
 116 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 old acts of Parliament, at a period when the 
 courts were ambulatory. But now that they 
 have been stationary for near two centuries, it 
 is full time it were given up. There is no such 
 privilege existing anywhere else in Britain. 
 The courts of law in London claim no such ex- 
 emption ; nor would it be allowed if they did. 
 The regulations and customs of Henry VIII. 
 would ill accord with the present state of Eng- 
 land. 
 
 
 
 Many of the facts, with which I have now 
 furnished you, are curious. 
 
 They point out the gradual progress of com- 
 merce and luxury, and the corresponding effect 
 upon manners ; and shew by what imperceptible 
 degrees society may advance to refinement, and 
 in some points to corruption, whilst matters of 
 real utility may be neglected. 
 
 Observations similar to the preceding may 
 perhaps be made in every capital town or city 
 in Great Britain; and, if the example I have 
 now given is followed, much useful information 
 may be gained respecting trade, manners, and 
 police. This is the more to be wished for, as 
 the prosperity and happiness of every nation 
 must depend upon its virtue, and on the wisdom 
 and due execution of its laws. 
 
 3
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 117 
 
 The information I have given is only an out- 
 line. It would have required a volume to have 
 gone minutely into particulars. 
 
 Your zeal and public spirit have stimulated a 
 research which never was equalled in any coun- 
 try, and it may prove highly beneficial to man- 
 kind in general. Every good citizen of the state 
 is bound to wish well to the undertaking, and, 
 according to his opportunities, to promote its 
 success. My best exertions, on every occasion 
 of such a nature, you may always depend on. 
 I remain, with much esteem, 
 
 Sir, 
 
 Your most obedient, 
 
 Humble servant, 
 
 William Creech. 
 
 Edinburgh, Dec/1792. 
 
 LETTER THIRD. 
 
 Sir, 
 I shall now, according to my promise, give 
 you an account of the physical phenomena that 
 I have noted for some years. The knowledge of 
 facts is the only foundation of true philosophy, 
 and without this knowledge, theories and systems 
 are vague and unsatisfactory.
 
 118 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE TIECES. 
 
 It is obvious that this globe which we inhabit 
 has undergone great and astonishing changes. 
 It is certain that most of the land we now occupy 
 has once been covered by the sea, for many of 
 the highest mountains are replete with marine 
 productions. 
 
 That many of the rocks and mountains which 
 we see, must have been occasioned by subter- 
 raneous fire, no person can doubt. For instance, 
 the basaltic columns of the Giants' causeway, the 
 island of Staffa, the rocks at the harbour of 
 Dunbar, the hills of Arthur's Seat and Craig- 
 lockhai t *, and many others too tedious to men- 
 tion. These are only named as being more im- 
 mediately under observation. 
 
 Nothing can account for the regular form 
 which the parts of these rocks have taken, but 
 their being produced by fire, and this is support- 
 ed by experiment. It has lately been found, 
 that when similar substances are brought into 
 fusion, and allowed to cool gradually, they as- 
 sume the same regular shape as these columns 
 of rock. Some time ago, a furnace of flint glass 
 having been by accident allowed to cool, the 
 matter was found to have taken the form of ba- 
 saltic columns. 
 
 * These hills are in the immediate vicinity of Edinburgh.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 119 
 
 We have but very little knowledge of the great 
 processes of nature, or the tremendous changes 
 that have taken place in this globe, owing to the 
 remote antiquity of the events, and the short 
 period and imperfection of our records. 
 
 Volcanos have been observed as far to the 
 North and South Poles as land has been dis- 
 covered ; and through all the intervening lati- 
 tudes. It would hence appear, that there is a 
 great body of active fire within the bowels of the 
 earth j and we know the effects of it often appear 
 at immense distances, and that it acts in a man- 
 ner which cannot, or has not yet been accounted 
 for. Volcanos, we also know, have disappeared 
 in one place, and have burst out in another ; and 
 that every part of the globe is subject to such 
 convulsions of nature. 
 
 The northern part of this island of Britain has 
 not, within the record of history, been subject to 
 any remarkable physical change, although it is 
 evident that such changes have happened in it. 
 The following recent facts, however, may not 
 perhaps be thought unworthy of remark ; and a 
 few facts are of more value than a thousand hy- 
 potheses. 
 
 In 1782, at the time of the dreadful earth- 
 quakes in Calabria, the mercury in the barome- 
 ter in Scotland sunk within the tenth of an inch
 
 120 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 of the bottom of the scale ; the waters in many 
 of the lochs or lakes in the Highlands were much 
 agitated. 
 
 In 1783 There was an immense volcanic 
 eruption in the island of Iceland, * which began 
 on the tenth of June, and continued till the 
 middle of August. A new island was thrown up 
 in the neighbouring sea, and again disappeared. 
 
 Several months previous to this eruption, a 
 heavy dark bluish sulphureous fog had been ob- 
 served to rest over the island when not dissipated 
 by the wind ; this fog, at times, was spread all 
 over Europe. The year before this eruption, 
 and a few months before the earthquakes in Ca- 
 labria, a contagious disease, called the Influenza, 
 spread through Europe. 
 
 This volcanic eruption in Iceland is perhaps 
 the most remarkable yet recorded in history. 
 One stream of burning lava extended 40 miles 
 in length, and 16 in breadth, and was in some 
 places between 4 and 500 feet deep ! * 
 
 Upon the 18th of August 1783 A remark- 
 able meteor, or ball of fire, was seen to pass from 
 north to south, about half past eight in the even- 
 
 * Iceland lies between the 63d and 67th degree of north la- 
 titude. 
 
 t The account of this eruption is, since the above was writ- 
 ten, recorded in the Philosophical Transactions of Edinburgh.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 121 
 
 ing. This meteor was seen all over Britain, and 
 in many places upon the continent of Europe. 
 This phenomenon happened much about the 
 time of the termination of the volcanic eruption 
 in Iceland, and it is remarkable, that this meteor 
 was first seen to the north-west of the Shetland 
 and Orkney islands, in the quarter of Iceland, 
 
 Upon the 12th of September 1784 A very 
 extraordinary phenomenon was observed at Loch 
 Tay. The air was perfectly calm, not a breath 
 of wind stirring. About nine o'clock in the 
 morning, the water at the east end of the loch 
 ebbed about 300 feet, and left the channel dry. 
 It gradually accumulated and rolled on about 
 300 feet farther to the westward, when it met a 
 similar wave rolling in a contrary direction. 
 When these waves met, they rose to a perpendi- 
 cular height of five or six feet, producing a white 
 foam upon the top. The water then took a 
 lateral direction southward, rushing to the shore, 
 and rising upon it four feet beybnd the highest 
 water mark. It then returned, and continued to 
 ebb and flow every seven minutes for two hours, 
 the waves gradually diminishing every time they 
 reached the shore, until the whole was quiescent. 
 During the whole of that week, at a later hour 
 in the morning, there was the same appearance, 
 but not with such violence.
 
 122 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Upon the 11th of March 1785 The Tiviot, 
 a large river in the south of Scotland, suddenly 
 disappeared, and left the channel dry for two 
 hours, and then flowed with its usual fulness. * 
 
 Upon the 16th of June 1786 A smart shock 
 of an earthquake was felt at Whitehaven in Cum- 
 berland, which extended to the Isle of Man and 
 Dublin, and was also felt in the south-west parts 
 of Scotland. 
 
 Upon the 11th of August 1786 A very alarm- 
 ing shock of an earthquake was felt about two 
 o'clock in the morning, in the north of England, 
 viz. Northumberland, Cumberland, and in Scot- 
 land, across the island ; and as far north as Argyl- 
 shire ; and in all these places at the same in- 
 stant of time. This shock extended above 150 
 miles from south to north, and 100 miles from 
 east to west. 
 
 What an immense power must it have been 
 to have produced such an effect ! 
 
 Upon the 26th of January 1787 A smart 
 shock of an earthquake was felt in the parishes 
 of Campsie and Strathblane, ten miles north from 
 Glasgow, about ten o'clock in the morning. A 
 rushing noise was heard to precede the shock 
 
 
 * According to the newspaper of the day. See Edinburgh 
 Evening Courant.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 123 
 
 from the south-east. The night preceding this 
 earthquake, a piece of ground near Alloa, on 
 which a mill was built, suddenly sunk a foot and 
 a half. 
 
 Upon the 26th of January, the river Clyde, 
 above Lanark, became almost dry for two hours, 
 and the mills were stopped ; and afterwards the 
 river again flowed as usual. 
 
 On the 25th of January 1787 The river 
 Tiviot again became suddenly dry, and continu- 
 ed so for four hours, and then flowed with its 
 usual fulness. 
 
 In 1787 The months of January and Feb- 
 ruary were uncommonly mild ; the thermometer 
 at Edinburgh being in general 20 degrees higher 
 than usual at that season. 
 
 On the 12th of February 1787 The mercury 
 in the barometer at Edinburgh was nearly as low 
 as at the time of the earthquakes in Calabria. 
 
 On the 8th of July 1788 The sea at Dunbar 
 suddenly receded eighteen inches. 
 
 On the 8th of July 1788 An earthquake was 
 felt in the Isle of Man. 
 
 In September 1789 There was a violent 
 earthquake in Iceland *. 
 
 * See Letter from Copenhagen, Oct. 6, 1789, published in 
 the newspapers about the end of October.
 
 124 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 On Thursday the 5th of November 1789, be- 
 tween five and six in the evening, a smart shock 
 of an earthquake was felt at Crieff, at Comrie, 
 and for many miles round that district, which is 
 about fifty-five miles from Edinburgh. At Mr 
 Robertson's house of Lawers, a rumbling noise, 
 like distant thunder, had been heard at intervals 
 for two months ; and at the time of the shock, a 
 noise like the discharge of distant artillery was 
 distinctly heard. Mr Dundas and Mr Bruce of 
 Edinburgh were standing before the fire in the 
 drawing-room, and they described the shock, as 
 if a great mallet had suddenly struck the foun- 
 dation of the house with violence. At the vil- 
 lage of Comrie, the inhabitants left their houses, 
 and ran to the open fields. 
 
 On the 1 1th of November, in the forenoon, in 
 the same place, another shock was felt, which 
 was more violent than that of the 5th. It was 
 accompanied with a hollow rumbling noise. The 
 ice on a piece of water near the house of Lawers 
 was shivered to atoms *. 
 
 EXTRACT OF A LETTER FROM FLORENCE. 
 
 October 2, 1?89. 
 " We have received the melancholy intelli- 
 gence, that, on the 30th of September, at three 
 
 * See the Edinburgh papers of the above date.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 125 
 
 quarters after eleven o'clock in the morning, a 
 violent shock of an earthquake was felt in the 
 town of Borgo San Sepolcro, which lasted two 
 minutes. The cathedral was partly destroyed, 
 and some churches, with many houses and pa- 
 laces, entirely so. In a village five miles from 
 Borgo San Sepolcro, the earth opened and swal- 
 lowed up above thirty houses, with all the inha- 
 bitants ; and the remainder of that village, con- 
 sisting of above 150 houses, was totally destroy- 
 ed : The earth there opened in many different 
 places, and a great quantity of cattle have perish- 
 ed, besides above 1000 persons *." 
 
 It is very extraordinary that on the same day, 
 viz. the 30th of September, near three o'clock 
 in the afternoon, two or three distinct shocks of 
 an earthquake were felt at the house of Parsons 
 Green, within a mile of Edinburgh. The house 
 is situated on the north side of the hill called 
 Arthur's Seat, which is composed of an immense 
 mass of blue granite. Several visitors were in 
 the house to dine with the family, and the whole 
 company ran down stairs from the drawing-room, 
 and thev met the servants from the kitchen, in 
 the lobby, equally alarmed at what had happen- 
 ed. They described the sensation as if the house 
 
 * London Chronicle, Oct. 17. 1787.
 
 126 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 had received two or three violent blows in the 
 foundation, so that all the furniture shook. 
 
 On Friday the 4th of December 1789, the 
 ship Brothers, Capt. Stewart, arrived at Leith 
 from Archangel, who reported that, on the coast 
 of Lapland and Norway, he sailed many leagues 
 through immense quantities of dead haddocks 
 floating on the sea. He spoke several English 
 ships who reported the same fact. It is certain 
 that haddock, which was the fish in the greatest 
 abundance in the Edinburgh market, has scarce- 
 ly been seen there these three years *. 
 
 On the 10th of November 1792, three repeat- 
 ed smart shocks of an earthquake, accompanied 
 with a hollow rumbling noise like that of distant 
 thunder, was felt at Loch Rannoch in Perth- 
 shire. 
 
 EXTRACT OF A LETTER FROM THE SAME 
 NEIGHBOURHOOD. 
 
 Comrie (Perthshire J Nov. 30, 1792. 
 " We have of late been greatly alarmed with 
 several very severe shocks of an earthquake. 
 They were more sensible and alarming than any 
 
 * In February 1790, three haddocks were brought to mar- 
 ket, which, from their scarcity, sold for 7s. 6d.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 127 
 
 felt formerly, and.the noise attending them was 
 uncommonly loud and tremulous. It appeared, 
 probably, more so, from the stillness of the atmos- 
 phere, and the reverberation of the surrounding 
 mountains. The houses were greatly shaken, 
 and the furniture tossed from its place. The 
 weather had been uncommonly variable, and 
 changed from high gu6ts of wind to a deep calm, 
 a few days before the severest shocks of the 
 earthquake. The air was moist and hazy, and 
 the clouds seemed charged with electricity. It 
 is not improbable, that these earthquakes arise 
 from large caverns below this place, into which 
 the exterior waters penetrate, and are converted 
 into vapour, or steam, capable of the highest de- 
 gree of expansion, and must press forcibly upon 
 every thing which opposes their dilatation. By 
 this theory, the famous Demolieu accounted for 
 the earthquakes of Calabria in 1783, which was 
 received by the learned world, as more satisfac- 
 tory than any proposed by Sir William Hamil- 
 ton, and other philosophers. Whatever be the 
 cause, the effect is certain ; and it must be no 
 small force that can shake a country to the ex- 
 tent of between twenty and thirty miles." 
 
 I do not mean at present to draw any hypo- 
 thesis or theory from what I have stated above,
 
 128 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 but merely to bring facts into one general view, 
 and to induce others to make observations of the 
 same kind. I am, with much esteem, 
 Sir, 
 Your most obedient, 
 Humble Servant, 
 
 William Creech. 
 Edinburgh, Dec. 1792. 
 
 [Soon after the Publication of the foregoing Let- 
 ters, the following appeared. J 
 
 Sip, Edin. Jan. 26, 1784. 
 
 It was with very great pleasure I read the 
 three letters signed Theophrastus.* That gen- 
 tleman deserves the thanks of every person who 
 is interested in the cause of religion and virtue. 
 The number of facts which he has collected, 
 illustrative of the manners and modes of living 
 in our metropolis, from the year 1763 to the 
 
 * The three preceding letters originally appeared under the 
 signature of Theophhastus, were afterwards published in 
 a small volume, in 1791, and were subsequently brought 
 down to 1792, addressed to Sir John Sinclair, and published 
 in the Statistical Account of Scotland, with the author's name.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 129 
 
 year 1783, must strike every person of observation 
 with amazement; and calls aloud for the exertion 
 of every virtuous citizen, to lend his aid to stem 
 the tide of profligacy that is pouring in amongst 
 us. The following strictures are meant as sup- 
 lementary to Theophrastus's letters, upon a sub- 
 ject which he has briefly touched, and which 
 seems to take the lead of the present reigning 
 vices of the age. 
 
 Of all the writers of antiquity, whether philo- 
 sophers or poets, I know none who conveys the 
 sublime precepts of morality with such force 
 and energy as Horace. Of his moral odes, there 
 is none, in my opinion, that, in elevation of sen- 
 timent, poetical imagery, and force of expres- 
 sion, exceeds the sixth of the third book. In this 
 ode, Horace tells his countrymen, that their con- 
 tempt of religion, profligacy, and corruption of 
 manners, were the sole causes which had nearly 
 overturned the state, and had brought misfortune 
 and misery into every family ! " If you are mas- 
 ters of the world, says he, it is because you have 
 acknowledged the heavenly powers to be your 
 masters : This is the foundation of all your gran- 
 deur : Upon it depends the success of all your 
 enterprizes : It is owing to irreligion that Italy 
 has felt her late disgraces and mournful disas- 
 
 i
 
 ISO EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ters." * From these truths, the poet proceeds to 
 point out the source of those pariicular vices 
 which had overspread all ranks of the people. 
 " The present age, says Horace, so fruitful in 
 vice, has rent asunder the sacred bond of mar- 
 riage, and introduced corruption of blood into 
 families and private houses : From adultery, as 
 from a fountain, are derived the whole disasters 
 both in public and private lifef." I will not 
 shock my countrywomen with an interpretation 
 of the last of the stanzas quoted below, which, 
 however applicable to the ladies of Rome in that 
 age, and, perhaps, to those of our sister metro- 
 polis in the present, yet, I am willing to think, 
 is not yet so to the sex in this northern latitude 
 Heaven forbid that it ever should ! 
 
 * Diis te minorem quod geris, imperas : 
 Hinc orane principium, hue refer exitum. 
 
 D'n multa neglecti dederunt, 
 
 Hesperian mala luctuosa?. 
 t Fecunda culpae secula, nuptias 
 Primura inquinavere, et genus, et domos. 
 
 Hoc fonte derivata clades, 
 
 In patriam populumque fluxit! 
 Motus doceri gaudet Ionicos 
 Matura virgo, et fingitur artubus, 
 
 Jam nunc, et incestos amores 
 
 De tenero meditatur ungui, 
 Mox juniores quaerit adulteros 
 Inter mariti vina .
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 131 
 
 As in Rome before its fall, so in Britain in the 
 present age, amongst other vicious pursuits, that 
 of criminal gallantry appears to take the lead. 
 In vice, as in other things, there is a fashion, 
 which, like a contagion, soon spreads itself over 
 all ranks. Although its progression is gradual, 
 yet, that we in Scotland are advancing, and not 
 by slow steps, the annals of a certain Court * 
 speak aloud ! From them it will appear, that, 
 within these forty years, for one process of adul- 
 tery then recorded in that court, there are now 
 twenty in the same space of time : The reason 
 is apparent. Forty years ago, there was some 
 religion amongst us : Adultery was believed to be 
 a crime, both with respect to Heaven and the 
 moral ties of society ; nay, with regard to the 
 last, it was held to be a capital crime, and, by 
 the laws of the land, was punished as such : But 
 these will be called rude times and Gothic laws. 
 Will it be believed, that almost within the me- 
 mory of living people, two persons of respect- 
 able rank were publicly brought to trial, con- 
 victed, and put to death, upon the statutory act 
 of King William, for adultery, f It would be a 
 
 * The Commissary Court. 
 
 + See, in the records of the Court of Justiciary 1694, the 
 trial of Daniel Nicolson, writer in Edinburgh, and Mrs Ma- 
 rion Maxwell, widow of Mr David Pringle, surgeon, indicted
 
 1S2 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 most alarming affair to a number of fashionable 
 people of the present times, were the above laws 
 to be put in execution ; and yet, were a private 
 party injured, to bring a criminal prosecution 
 for adultery, against the persons who had injur- 
 ed him, I can conceive no defence that would 
 avail against the competency of such trial, or 
 the consequent punishment on their conviction. 
 In the days of our fathers, the crime of adul- 
 tery, we see, was capital ; the guilty persons 
 were declared infamous, and punished with 
 death ! Let us turn to the present time : We 
 now in this, as in other fashionable vices, fol- 
 low, with swift pace, our neighbours beyond the 
 Tweed, and on the Continent. There, with im- 
 punity, two criminals publish their guilt, and, 
 adding to their infamy the crime of perjury, by 
 a breach of that vow which they had solemnly 
 sworn at the altar to preserve inviolate till death ; 
 and, by another horrid piece of mockery in the 
 face of Heaven, they rush together in marriage, 
 bidding defiance to shame, religion, honour, and 
 reputation ! Pudet h<sc opprobria dici. I will 
 not say that in this country we are yet arrived 
 
 at the instance of the Crown, for adultery and criminal coha- 
 bitation. Upon the verdict of an assize, finding the libel 
 proven, the Lords adjudged Daniel Nicolson to be hanged, and 
 Mrs Pringle to be beheaded.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 133 
 
 at the same pitch of vice ; but, as we are daily 
 taking large strides in fallowing the fashions and 
 manners of our neighbours, how soon we may- 
 reach the same degree in the scale, is a thought 
 that every person of virtue must shudder to think 
 of! 
 
 Manners and fashions take their rise among 
 the great, and from them descend to the people. 
 We see, in the last century, how far the example 
 of the Sovereign affected the manners of the peo- 
 ple with respect to gallantry ; yet, loose and dis- 
 sipated as the court of Charles II. then was, it 
 may be deemed chaste in comparison with the 
 manners of the present age : With this aggrava- 
 tion, that, were the example of the prince to be 
 followed, we see in our present Sovereign and 
 his Queen, two as eminent patterns of religion 
 and virtue as ever adorned a throne ! 
 
 I shall resume this subject in a future letter. 
 I am, &c. 
 
 E. C. Horatius. 
 
 LETTER SECOND. 
 
 It must strike every thinking person with 
 amazement, to be told, that in England there is
 
 134 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 no punishment for the crime of adultery ; that 
 it is there considered only as a private injury, 
 which entitles the person injured to an action 
 for damages. Nay, a divorce is not consequent 
 to the conviction of this crime; it only operates 
 a separation from bed and board. It requires a 
 particular act of parliament, on full proof of the 
 adultery; and, even in that case, an alimony is 
 awarded to the adulteress ! Shall we then won- 
 der at the frequency of this crime in England, 
 when, in place of punishment, it is avowedly 
 committed as an expedient for two guilty per- 
 sons to get free of one marriage, that they may 
 enjoy their criminality under the mock sanction 
 of a new marriage ? Let it be remembered, to 
 the honour of the present Chancellor, Lord 
 Thurlow, that, in a late case before the House 
 of Lords, where it appeared that the criminal 
 intercourse had been carried on in the most open 
 manner, with the view of obtaining a divorce, 
 that the two criminal persons might be at liberty 
 ,to marry; in this case, although the adultery 
 was proved, yet divorce was refused to the adul- 
 terers. Such a check will no doubt have the ef- 
 fect to make criminals more cautious in their 
 design at least, though I doubt of its having the 
 effect, in these loose times, to operate a refor- 
 mation.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 135 
 
 Let not, however, offenders in this country 
 flatter themselves, that adultery is not punish- 
 able by the law of Scotland. It is declared ca- 
 pital by the statutory law of King William, and 
 we know of no subsequent law that has repealed 
 these statutes. If it shall be alleged, that the 
 laws are in desuetude which declare this crime 
 capital, let it be remembered that there are other 
 penal laws in fresh observance which ought to 
 strike these offenders with terror. By the law 
 of Scotland, after divorce, a subsequent marriage 
 between the two guilty persons is declared void 
 and null, and the issue incapable to succeed to 
 their parents (1.600, James VI.) 2dly, The of- 
 fenders are cut off from every benefit of their 
 former marriage ; the man forfeits the wife's mar- 
 riage portion, and the adulteress her marriage 
 provision, jointure, &c. and is turned out to beg* 
 gary and infamy. Thus, at present, stands the 
 law of Scotland with respect to adultery. How 
 far the ministers of law are called upon, by 
 office, to put them in execution, they and the 
 public will judge ; but if ever the circumstances 
 of time called for such exertion to save a nation, 
 the present does ! I wave mentioning a certain 
 old law, called the seventh commandment, which 
 is enforced by the Divine Author of our religion, 
 as I am afraid these authorities, with people of
 
 136 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 fashion, are now fallen into desuetude. I shall 
 therefore leave them to the lower rank of people, 
 and such as may still think it their duty to go to 
 church, where, if they do not hear them read, 
 and enforced from the pulpit, they may consult 
 the ten commandments, as written at large on 
 the church walls, the only passages of scripture 
 which perhaps they do read. I shall conclude 
 with a short address to both sexes, to endeavour 
 to open their eyes to the certain misery and ruin 
 that attends this crime. 
 
 Thou man of mode and gallantry ! thou plum- 
 est thyself upon thy nice honour, virtue, huma- 
 nity ! words always in thy mouth : How oppo- 
 site to these principles is thy practice ! Wouldst 
 thou hesitate to rob a friend, or beggar his fami- 
 ly ! Let me thunder it in your ears you do so 
 in fact ! By a thousand vile arts, you insinuate 
 yourself into his family and confidence ; you, 
 like a thief under trust, basely steal from him 
 what he holds most dear, the affections of the wife 
 of his bosom ! You deprive, till then an honest 
 woman, of her morals, her virtue, her religion ! 
 and consign her to infamy. You deprive a race 
 of helpless infants of a tender parent, and reduce 
 a whole family to ruin ! The loss of money may 
 be repaired; but to rob a husband of his wife, 
 to have the fountain polluted from whence every
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 137 
 
 stream of domestic happiness is derived, is of all 
 miseries the most bitter and complicated. De- 
 prived of the happiness which he enjoyed at 
 home, the reward of his toil and virtuous labour, 
 his industry flags, and gives way to carelessness 
 and dissipation ; despair not unfrequently takes 
 place, and murder completes the catastrophe ! 
 
 And thou, infatuated woman ! once the re- 
 spected wife of a virtuous husband ! the sharer 
 of his fortune, the delight of his heart, the mo- 
 ther of his infants ! how art thou fallen ! Sedu- 
 ced from the path of virtue, what misery attends 
 your steps ! Your short career of folly is run ! 
 Torn from your helpless babes, on whose inno- 
 cent heads your infamy descends; thrown out 
 by your husband from the house where once you 
 was mistress ! the hospitable door now shut 
 against you ! despised by your friends, deserted 
 by your vile seducer, and at last abandoned to 
 want, misery, and remorse ! 
 
 Such, thou man of gallantry, are the triumphs 
 of thy vile arts ! If the worm within thy breast 
 does not awake thee to remorse, walk on in the 
 ways of thy heart, and in the light of thine own 
 eyes ! a few years puts a period to thy vicious 
 course ; with the decay of thy passions thy pu- 
 nishment commences ;
 
 138 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 When the hey-day of the blood is past, 
 Thou fall'st into the sear and yellow leaf, 
 And that which should accompany old age, 
 As honour, love, obedience, troops of friends, 
 Thou must not look to have ; but, in their stead, 
 Curses, both loud and deep ! 
 
 These are the attendants of thy old age ! a just 
 
 preparative, in this life, for the miseries that await 
 
 thee m the next ! 1 am, &c. 
 
 Horatius. 
 E.C. 
 
 [The following letter was also occasioned by the 
 comparative view of Edinburgh in the years 
 1763 and 1783, and introduced in the follow- 
 ing manner : " Were the example of this 
 correspondent to be followed throughout 'Bri- 
 tain, a most curious and valuable collection 
 of facts might be made, illustrative of the pro- 
 gress of society, and of manners. It might 
 serve as an hour's amusement to the minister 
 of the parish, the schoolmaster, or any judi- 
 cious observer, to collect a short view of such 
 facts as have happened within their respec- 
 tive parishes. With respect to giving a view
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 139 
 
 of the increase of the population of the coun- 
 try, the number of scholars at the parish 
 schools might be mentioned at the different 
 periods ; for, in general, even the lowest pea- 
 santry in Scotland are taught to read, and are 
 instructed in the principles of morality and 
 religion. We shall gladly receive the com- 
 munications.] 
 
 Sir, 
 I live in a country parish, forty miles north- 
 east of Edinburgh. The length of the parish is 
 two miles, the breadth one mile, and about 120 
 families live in it. I am a constant reader of 
 your useful paper ; and seeing Theophrastus's 
 curious and excellent observations upon the me- 
 tropolis, I was induced to make the following 
 remarks upon the parish in which I have lived 
 for twenty-six years. If you think them worth 
 the inserting in your paper, they are much at 
 your service. I am, &c. P. C. 
 
 In 1763 Land was rented at six shillings, 
 on an average, per acre : Only two small farms 
 were inclosed. 
 
 In 1 783 Land is rented at eighteen shillings 
 per acre : All inclosed with thorn hedges and 
 stone dikes.
 
 140 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 In 1763 No wheat was sown in the parish, 
 except half an acre by the minister : No grass 
 nor turnip sown, no cabbages or potatoes planted 
 in open fields. 
 
 In 1783 Above one hundred acres are sown 
 with wheat: About three-fifths of the ground 
 are under grass, turnips, cabbages, and potatoes. 
 
 In 1763 Land was ploughed with oxen ; a 
 few horses only were kept to draw the harrows 
 in seed-time, and to bring in the corns in har- 
 vest. Seven pounds was thought a great price 
 for a horse. 
 
 In 1783 Oxen are not employed in agricul- 
 ture : Farmers have their saddle-horses, value 
 from fifteen to twenty pounds, work-horses from 
 ten to fifteen pounds each. 
 
 In 1763 The wages of servants that followed 
 the plough were three pounds per year ; maid- 
 servants one pound ten shillings. 
 
 In 1783-r-Men-servants' wages are seven or 
 eight pounds, some ten pounds ; maid-servants 
 three pounds per year. 
 
 In 1763 Day labourers were at sixpence 
 per day, and tailors at threepence per day. 
 
 In 1783 Both are doubled in their wages. 
 
 In 1763 No English cloth was worn but by 
 the minister, and a quaker.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 141 
 
 In 1783 There are few who do not wear 
 English cloth, and several the best superfine. 
 
 In 1?63 Mens stockings, in general, were 
 made of what was called plaiding hose, made of 
 white woollen cloth j the women wore coarse 
 plaids ; not a cloak nor bonnet wore by the 
 women in the whole parish. 
 
 In 1783 Cotton and thread stockings are 
 common, and some have silk ; the women who 
 wear plaids have them fine, and faced with silk ; 
 silk cloaks and bonnets are very numerous. 
 
 In 1763 There were only two hats worn in 
 the parish ; the men wore cloth bonnets. 
 
 In 1?83 Few bonnets are worn ; the bonnet- 
 making trade, in the next parish, is given up. 
 
 In 1763 There was, one eight-day clock in 
 the parish, six watches, and two tea-kettles. 
 
 In 1783 There are twenty-one clocks, above 
 one hundred watches, and above eighty tea- 
 kettles. 
 
 In 1763 The people in the parish never vi- 
 sited each other but at Christmas, the entertain- 
 ment was broth and beef, the visitors sent to an 
 alehouse for five or six pints of ale, were merry 
 over it without any ceremony. 
 
 In 1783 People visit each other often ; a few 
 neighbours are invited to one house to dinner ; 
 six or seven dishes set on the table, elegantly
 
 142 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 dressed ; after dinner, a large bowl of rum punch 
 is drunk, then tea, and again another bowl ; after 
 that supper, and what is called the grace drink. 
 
 In 1?63 All persons in the parish attended 
 divine worship on Sunday. There were only 
 four seceders in the parish. Sunday was regu- 
 larly and religiously observed. 
 
 In 1783 There is such a disregard of public 
 worship and ordinances, that few attend divine 
 worship with that attention which was formerly 
 given. Ignorance prevails, although privileged 
 with excellent instructions in public sermons, in 
 examination, and in visiting from house to house 
 by our pastor. When the form of religion is 
 disregarded, surely the power of it is near disso- 
 lution. 
 
 4 
 
 In 1763 Few in this parish were guilty of 
 the breach of the third commandment. The 
 name of God was reverenced and held sacred. 
 
 In 1783 The third commandment seems to 
 be almost forgotten, and swearing abounds. I 
 may say the same of all the rest of the ten, as to 
 public practice. 
 
 The decay of religion and growth of vice, in 
 this parish, is very remarkable within these twen- 
 ty years. 
 
 E. C.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 143 
 
 [Soon after the foregoing comparisons of the years 
 1763 and 1783, the following appeared.] 
 
 September 10, 1785. 
 In a late paper was briefly mentioned, in ge- 
 neral terms, the state of the British nation in 
 1763 and 1783, at the conclusion of the two 
 wars. Within that short period, we have seen 
 the most astonishing events and revolutions in 
 Europe, Asia, and America, that the history of 
 mankind can produce in so limited a space of 
 time. "We have also seen evidence of the dis- 
 covery of new countries, new people, new pla- 
 nets ; and the discoveries in science and philo- 
 sophy are such as the human mind had hitherto 
 no conception of. In short, the history of poli- 
 tics, commerce, religion, literature, and man- 
 ners, during this short period, opens a rich field 
 for the genius of the historian and philosopher. 
 The brief chronicles of the day are only suited 
 to record striking facts. ' I mean, at present, but 
 shortly to give a few particulars respecting the 
 political state of Britain at the conclusion of the 
 wars 1763 and 1783. To some this view, per- 
 haps, will be displeasing, because it is not flat- 
 tering j but, if it is true, it calls for reflection 
 and exertion.
 
 144 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 In 1763 Britain was in her meridian glory; 
 she was crowned with victory, rich with con- 
 quest, mistress of the seas, and held the balance 
 of power in Europe. 
 
 In 1783 The sun of Britain's glory (to use 
 Lord Chatham's words) is set. She is returned 
 from an unsuccessful war loaded with debt, but 
 after the noblest struggle against the most unge- 
 nerous combination of powerful foes which the 
 world ever saw: * In this struggle her own 
 children bore a principal part against her ; while 
 faction and divided councils at home contributed 
 to her want of success. Her command of the 
 sea is disputed, and the balance of power is 
 wrested from her hands. 
 
 In 1763 The British dominions in America 
 extended from the North Pole, or, to narrow the 
 view, from the northern parts of Hudson's Bay 
 to Cape Florida a stretch of continent of 2500 
 miles, extending from the frozen to the torrid 
 zone. 
 
 In 1783 The British dominions in America 
 are confined to the northern provinces of Ca- 
 nada and part of Nova Scotia, with the lesser 
 
 * Britain, unassisted, sustained this war against France, 
 Spain, Holland, America, and the East Indian tribes, so that 
 10,000,000 may be said to have fought against 60,000,000 of 
 people, the most opulent and powerful in the world !
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 145 
 
 division of three great lakes ; the proud British 
 nation having been stripped of all the rest by 
 the machinations of an American Printer, but a 
 Philosopher ! 
 
 In 1?63 The British conquests in Asia were 
 also rapid, rich, and extensive. She soon pos- 
 sessed more territory in Asia than the kingdoms 
 of France and Britain put together ; and Orien- 
 tal Monarchs owned her dominion. 
 
 In 1783 The British have been unsuccessful, 
 and were on the point of being stripped of all 
 their rich possessions in the East. 
 
 In 1763 The shares of the East India Com- 
 pany stock sold from L. 260 to L. 275 per cent. 
 so flourishing were the British affairs in the 
 East. 
 
 In 1783 The East India Company were 
 termed bankrupts in the British Parliament; 
 and the stock, which was L. 275, fell to L. 118 
 per cent. 
 
 In 1763 The national debt of Britain amount- 
 ed to L. 140,000,000. 
 
 In 1785 The national debt is reckoned above 
 L. 272,000,000, a sum which the human mind 
 can hardly form an idea of. To give some as- 
 sistance to conceive it : Were it to be laid down 
 in guineas in a line, it would extend upwards of 
 
 K
 
 146 
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 4300 miles in length : were it to be paid in shil- 
 lings, it would extend three times and a half 
 round the globe; and, if paid in solid silver, 
 would require 60,400 horses to draw it, at the 
 rate of fifteen hundred weight to each horse. 
 
 In 1763 The annual national interest was 
 L. 4,688,177, Us. 
 
 In 1783 The annual national interest and 
 expenditure is above L. 15,000,000, or L. 41,000 
 daily; for which every article of life and com- 
 merce is heavily taxed, and Britain alone bears 
 the burden. This daily interest would require 
 a person a day to count it out, at the rate of 60 
 guineas every minute incessantly, which no one 
 could do. 
 
 In 1763^-The 3 per cent, consols were sold 
 from L. 93 to L. 95 per cent. 
 
 In 1783 The same Government fund was as 
 low as L. 53 per cent. 
 
 In 1763 The British empire was great, 
 powerful, and extensive, and harmony reigned 
 through all its branches. 
 
 In 1783 The empire is dismembered ; Ame- 
 rica, by successful rebellion, is independent, and 
 separated from Britain ; Ireland, in the hour of 
 distress, took the opportunity of laving the same 
 claim to independence ; Scotland has remained 
 
 3
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 147 
 
 loyal and attached, has supplied the armies and 
 navies, and silently bears her share of debt and 
 misfortune. 
 
 When the reader has made this survey, he will 
 probably think that virtue and industry will be 
 necessary to retrieve the affairs of Britain, and 
 to render her happy and respectable, if not 
 proud and triumphing. Let him then cast an 
 eye to the motives that influence political con- 
 duct, to the characters of the great, to the man- 
 ners of the capital, and of the people in general, 
 and let him say if he discovers public and pri- 
 vate virtue flourishing ; if he perceives humility, 
 economy, moderation ; or if he discovers selfish- 
 ness, luxury, supineness, and vicious indulgence 
 of every kind. Does he see the amor pa trite 
 glow with purity and ardour in the breasts of 
 British Senators ? Is faction and party lost in 
 united exertions for the good of the whole ? Or, 
 are wealth and power the sole objects of ambi- 
 tion ? Are our young men in general trained to 
 manly thinking, and manly virtues, with a con- 
 tempt for low pleasures and vice ? Or, are in- 
 temperance, sensuality, and dissipation, from an 
 early period, the objects of pursuit ? Look to 
 their conversation, and their conduct, and say if 
 ever a nation of abandoned voluptuaries rose to 
 happiness and greatness ? Is this the time when
 
 148 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 it may be said of Britain, that " all her sons are 
 brave, and all her daughters virtuous ?" 
 
 Theophrastus. 
 E. C. 
 
 [The following paper is taken from the Edin- 
 burgh Evening Courant.] 
 
 to the printer* 
 
 Sir, August, 30. 1?83. 
 
 While the Russians and the Turks are cutting 
 each others throats, in order to fill each others 
 pockets ; while the Americans are contending 
 who shall govern, and who shall obey ; while the 
 French are using the English, as we are told the 
 English have been wont to use the French ; 
 while ministers are fixing themselves firmly in 
 the saddle of their political hobby-horse ; while 
 the Irish, by their militia, and the Scotch, by 
 their want of a militia, excite commotions, and 
 revolutions, and liberty, and all that ; while great 
 men are ambitious to prove themselves little 
 men ; while every man who can write thinks it 
 ought to be in the service of the state ; while 
 every man who can eat thinks he has a right to 
 
 6
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 149 
 
 do it at the public expence; while all these things 
 are in the minds and attentions of the world, and 
 since the sun shines alike on me and on them ; 
 while our eyes and ears, and noses and under- 
 standings, are made of the same materials and 
 essences as theirs ; since time, and chance, and 
 fortune, are the same to us as to them; since 
 death will come on all alike, and seize them like 
 a thief in the night, which, in the case of some, 
 will be setting a thief to catch a thief ; since hap- 
 piness, and every good thing, is as open to us as 
 to them ; since the hopes of felicity are not con- 
 fined to the cabinet, nor to the houses of parlia- 
 ment, nor to the public offices, any more than 
 to the public feasts ; and since a man may be 
 completely happy, who neither sells stock nor 
 his conscience ; since, I say, all these things are 
 so, 
 
 Let us, since life can little more supply, 
 Than just to look about us and to die, 
 Expatiate free o'er all this scene of man, 
 A mighty maze, but not without a plan. 
 
 Yes, let us pursue the innocent delights which 
 the book and the pen afford, and, by persevering 
 in the rigid guardianship of our integrity, enable 
 ourselves to view the fall of states and of mini- 
 sters, " in the calm light of mild philosophy."
 
 150 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 I shall, therefore, by the permission of all great 
 men, and, I hope, the approbation of all good 
 ones, try to find some entertainment from pur- 
 suits and lucubrations on which we may look 
 back with satisfaction. 
 
 Men are, in every respect, like books : Books 
 live and die, are old and young, are good and 
 bad, are neither good nor bad, just like men; 
 and he who reads bad books will be as bad a man 
 as he who keeps bad company. 
 
 According to the best writers on the subject 
 of politeness (among whom I reckon Fielding, 
 Swift, and Lord Chesterfield), " he is the most 
 polite man who makes his company easy and 
 happy in his presence." To apply this to books, 
 that book is the best which tends to make men 
 happy and easy. And this, I trust, will include 
 a very great collection of the best authors in our 
 language, particularly the writers on morality 
 and piety, which therefore ought to be read with 
 more attention, and oftener than any others. In 
 the company of polite men, it is impossible not 
 to imbibe a portion of their spirit; in reading 
 good books, it is equally impossible to escape 
 good and salutary impressions. No man ever 
 was rude and boorish, after spending the evening 
 with Chesterfield, and, 1 will venture to say, no 
 man ever went from the Whole Duty of Man to
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 151 
 
 a tavern, from the Bible to a bagnio, or from the 
 Spectator to the seduction of a wife or a daugh- 
 ter. No man ever swore false witness against 
 his neighbour, after reading a Commentary on 
 the Commandments, nor felt an ambition to raise 
 himself to worldly honours by dishonest means, 
 after perusing a Treatise on Death. 
 
 But all men are not polite, nor are all books 
 good ; infinite is the variety of merit both in 
 men and books. 1 must take notice but of a 
 very few diversities, which 1 the less regret, be- 
 cause the subject is open to every man's expe- 
 rience. 
 
 Some books contain a great portion of instruc- 
 tion, conveyed in very few words, and the oft- 
 ener we read them the more we learn ; some men 
 also there are who say little, but what they say 
 is the result of deep judgment and knowledge of 
 the subject. Hence I would rather read Solo- 
 mon's Proverbs than Seneca's Morals, and listen 
 to Charles Fox in preference to Edmund Burke. 
 Hence one page of Hume's Essays (where he 
 does not betray his infidelity) contains more 
 philosophy than is to be found in all Rousseau's 
 writings j and hence a short speech from Lord 
 Mansfield is in general worth all the speeches 
 of the pleaders who speak before him on a trial. 
 
 Some men say a great deal about nothing at
 
 152 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 all, and when they have exhausted their strength 
 in speaking to you for a whole evening, you can- 
 not recollect that they have ever said any thing 
 which is worth remembering, or affects the judg- 
 ment. Some books, too, talk a great deal about 
 it, and about it, and when you come to thejinis, 
 you wonder what the d 1 the author would be 
 at. Such is the case with the greater part of 
 Sterne's celebrated work, where the author, un- 
 der an air of pretended mystery, endeavours to 
 conceal nothing at all; and when you have finish- 
 ed, you remember that you have been now and 
 then tickled, but you cannot help thinking that 
 there is more real wit and just satire in a very 
 few pages in Swift or Fielding than in the whole 
 book. 
 
 In the company of some men it is impossible 
 to avoid getting drunk ; they take a peculiar 
 pleasure in seeing their guests reeling out of 
 their houses, and committing riots, or going to 
 bad houses afterwards. There are also some 
 books in which the passions are so perverted and 
 inflamed, that their readers generally seek for 
 indulgence in the haunts of infamy. Hence the 
 major part of novels are dangerous company. 
 The subject of their pages is love, which ten to 
 one but they change into lust before the work is 
 finished. For my own part, had I a daughter,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 153 
 
 sister, or other female, whose education was en- 
 trusted to me, I would as soon place her in the 
 company of any of those infamous wretches, who, 
 by their prostitution, have raised themselves 
 from carts to coaches, as put modern novels in- 
 to her hands. For if, by the reading of such 
 books, the designs of a seducer are speedily fa- 
 cilitated, what is it to me that her ruin was com- 
 pleted by a book, and not by a bagnio ? Of 
 such books, therefore, we ought to be as cautious 
 as of men who make us drunk, and take plea- 
 sure in the follies consequent on insensibility. 
 
 The world has been little obliged to those writ- 
 ers who have bestowed their time and talents to 
 inflame the passions, to relax the principles of 
 morality, and to prove that a man of no princi- 
 ple may be what the world calls a fine fellow. 
 Such, however, are the heroes of many modern 
 novels and comedies. 
 
 Some men are fond of telling stories ; their 
 conversation from beginning to end is a string 
 of jests, in one hundred of which there is not, 
 perhaps, one that will bear repetition. Some 
 books also there are, such as Joe Miller, and 
 Ben Johnson's Jests, which contain a series of 
 low jests and buffooneries. Such men and such 
 books rarely do much good, and very soon be- 
 come disgusting: And I have generally remark-
 
 154 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ed, that a mere story-telling man is a man of 
 few ideas, and such a man is as disgusting as a 
 book of blank leaves. 
 
 Some men are full of information of the best 
 kind. It is impossible to be in their company 
 without having our judgment enlarged, and our 
 stock of experience increased. Some books, too, 
 there are, which contain information in every 
 page, and we have recourse to them again and 
 again in all cases of necessity. Other men there 
 are who borrow all their knowledge from the 
 whim of the day, and who retail prejudices and 
 lies, as " proofs of holy writ ;" and other books 
 there are, which contain nothing, but what every 
 one knows, and generally a great deal more than 
 is consistent with truth, justice, or honesty. 
 Hence, I would rather study the constitution of 
 England from Hume, Smollet, and De Lolme, 
 than from the newspapers ; and hence I would 
 examine the actions of a statesman, rather by 
 what he has done than what he has said ; hence 
 I would rather keep company with Mr Gibbon 
 than a horse-jockey, and should expect better 
 information from the conversation of a Robert- 
 son, Watson, or a Ferguson, than from the clerks 
 of a counting-house, or the toad-eaters of a states- 
 man ; hence I should expect to know more of 
 the science of government, and the revolutions
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 155 
 
 of states and kingdoms, from historians than from 
 annalists, as the latter generally bear to the histo- 
 rians the same proportion that paragraphs do to 
 history. 
 
 Lastly, I must state a superiority which the 
 reader has over him who keeps company. It 
 consists in the patience and meekness with which 
 books bear whatever you may advance against 
 their arguments. I have condemned parts of 
 Swift with great indignation, but he never reviled 
 me; and I have thrown Smollet on the table in 
 disgust, and he never said, Why do you so ? Such 
 things cannot be done in company. Besides, 
 you may light your pipe with whatever offends 
 you in Horace, and he seeks no revenge. You 
 may kick Fielding to the end of the room, and 
 there he lies as mute as a fish. You may paper 
 band-boxes with the obnoxious parts of Voltaire, 
 and he murmurs not. Political writers may be 
 sent to the necessary, and there (quiet inoffensive 
 men !) they will behave with as much propriety 
 as when alive. Poets may be put under tarts, 
 and philosophers wrapped round pounds of 
 butter, and yet neither the rhymes of the one, 
 nor the resentment of the other, be kindled a- 
 gainst you. If Congreve offends you, you may 
 sell snuff in the obnoxious leaves ; and, if Ben 
 Johnson's levity displeases, you may stick pins 
 in his plays.
 
 156 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Woe unto literature in these days of degene- 
 racy ! woe unto the Nine Muses and their suit- 
 ors ! how many epics have stood between the 
 candle and candlestick ? how many histories have 
 been employed in twist tobacco ? and how many 
 philosophers have been made into thread papers, 
 their arguments into paper kites, and their con- 
 clusions into three-penny crackers on a birth- 
 day ? and yet with what patience and long-suf- 
 fering they bear all these indignities. I tell thee, 
 reader, and I tell thee truth, that such forbear- 
 ance and patience ought to dictate to thee, that 
 there is no hardship in the contempt of the worth- 
 less, and that he who, in his writings, has not 
 said against his conscience, nor violated the laws 
 of rectitude, may bid defiance to the whole army 
 of pastry-cooks, trunk-makers, milliners, and 
 venders of snuff, tape, and tobacco. 
 
 E. C. 
 
 [A few days after the appearance of the fore- 
 going letter, the following was published.] 
 
 In no point has our boasted liberty made a 
 more rapid progress towards licentiousness, than 
 in the freedom of the press. A late correspond-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 1.57 
 
 ent remarked, " that a bad book ought as much 
 to be guarded against as a bad companion.' * 
 There certainly is nothing more true, and yet 
 the most dangerous books are daily published 
 uncensured ; and a mean, ignorant, mercenary, 
 or unprincipled publisher, may spread poison 
 daily more detrimental than arsenic. Some 
 books, like men, acquire great reputation by 
 some brilliant points, while the general tendency, 
 like the general character, is never investigated. 
 
 In no instance is this more remarkable than 
 in the writings of the celebrated Rousseau. The 
 annals of literature never exhibited to the world 
 a more paradoxical, whimsical, ingenious, elo- 
 quent, weak, and dangerous author. 
 
 This author's works have been much read, 
 while few have examined the truth of his pictures, 
 or analyzed the consistency or tendency of his 
 doctrines. In the preface to his novel, he says, 
 " Chaste girls never read romances ; and the girl 
 who reads four pages of this is undone." 
 
 Yet no books are more called for at Circulat- 
 ing Libraries than romances, and none more than 
 his. With such sentiments he gives his book 
 to the world, and then presumes to write an- 
 other upon education. 
 
 The following fragment, which I lately met 
 with, said to be found among some old MSS. it
 
 158 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 is believed, will convey, in a strong and true 
 light, what is said of his writings, and may, per- 
 haps, lead some people to think when they read. 
 I am, &c. 
 
 Cato. 
 
 A PROPHECY 
 
 FOUND IN AN OLD MANUSCRIPT. 
 
 In those days a strange person shall appear in 
 France, coming from the borders of a lake, and 
 he shall cry to the people, Behold I am possessed 
 by the demon of enthusiasm ; I have received 
 the gift of incoherence ; lama philosopher, and 
 a professor of paradoxes. 
 
 And a multitude shall follow him, and many 
 shall believe in him. 
 
 And he shall say to them, You are all knaves 
 and fools ; and your wives and daughters are de- 
 bauched ; and I will come and live among you. 
 And he shall abuse the natural gentleness of the 
 people by his foul speeches. 
 
 And he shall cry aloud, " All men are virtu- 
 ous in the country where I was born ; but I will 
 not live in the country where I was born." 
 
 And he shall maintain, that arts and sciences
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 159 
 
 necessarily corrupt the manners ; and he shall 
 write upon all arts and sciences. 
 
 And he shall declare the theatre a source of 
 prostitution and corruption, and he shall write 
 operas and comedies. 
 
 And he shall affirm savages only are virtuous, 
 though he has never lived among savages, but he 
 shall be worthy to live among them. 
 
 And he shall say to men, cast away your fine 
 garments, and go naked, and he himself shall 
 wear laced clothes when they are given him. 
 
 And he shall say to the great, " they are 
 more despicable than their fortunes ;" but he 
 shall frequent their houses, and they shall be- 
 hold him as a curious animal brought from a 
 strange land. 
 
 And his occupation shall be to copy French mu- 
 sic, and he shall say there is no French music. 
 
 And he shall declare romances destructive to 
 morality, and he shall write a romance, and, in 
 his romance, the words shall be virtuous, and 
 the morals wicked ; and his characters shall be 
 outrageous lovers and philosophers. 
 
 And he shall say to the universe, " I am a fa- 
 vourite of fortune ; I write and 1 receive love- 
 letters :" and the universe shall see the letters he 
 received were written by himself. 
 
 And in his romance he shall teach the art of
 
 160 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 suborning a maiden by philosophy ; and she 
 shall learn from her lover to forget shame, and 
 become ridiculous, and write maxims. 
 
 And she shall give her lover the first kiss 
 upon his lips, and shall invite him to lie with 
 her : and he shall lie with her, and she shall be- 
 come big with metaphysics, and her billet-doux 
 shall be homilies of philosophy. 
 
 And he shall teach her that parents have no 
 authority in the choice of a husband, and he 
 shall paint them barbarous and unnatural. 
 
 And he shall refuse wages from the father, 
 because of the delicacy natural to men, and 
 receive money underhand from the daughter, 
 which he shall prove to be exceedingly proper. 
 
 And he shall get drunk with an English lord, 
 who shall insult him ; and he shall propose to 
 fight with the English lord ; and his mistress, 
 who has lost the honour of her own sex, shall 
 decide upon that of men ; and she shall teach 
 him, who taught her every thing, that he ought 
 not to fight. 
 
 And he shall receive a pension from the lord, 
 
 and shall go to Paris, where he shall not frequent 
 
 the society of well-bred and sensible people, but 
 
 of flirts and petit-maitres, and he shall believe 
 
 he has seen Paris. 
 
 And he shall write to his mistress, that the 
 
 1
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 161 
 
 women are grenadiers, go naked, and refuse 
 nothing to any man they chance to meet. 
 
 And when the same women shall receive him 
 at their country-houses, and amuse themselves 
 with his vanity, he shall say they are prodigies 
 of reason and virtue. 
 
 And the petit-maitres shall bring him to a 
 brothel, and he shall get drunk like a fool, and 
 lie with strange women, and write an account 
 of all this to his mistress, and she shall thank 
 him. 
 
 And he shall receive his mistress's picture, 
 and his imagination shall kindle at the sight ; 
 and his mistress shall give him obscene lessons 
 on solitary chastity. 
 
 And this mistress shall marry the first man that 
 arrives from the world's end; and, notwithstand- 
 ing all her craft, she shall imagine no means to 
 break off the match ; and she shall pass intre- 
 pidly from her lover's to her husband's arms. 
 
 And her husband shall know, before his mar- 
 riage, that she is desperately in love with, and 
 beloved by, another man ; and he shall volun- 
 tarily make them miserable ; but he shall be a 
 good man, and, moreover, an Atheist. 
 
 And his wife shall immediately find herself 
 exceedingly happy, and shall write to her lover >
 
 162 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 that, were she still free, she would prefer her 
 husband to him. 
 
 And the philosophic lover shall resolve to kill 
 himself. 
 
 And he shall write a long dissertation, to 
 prove that a man ought to kill himself when he 
 has lost his mistress ; and his friend shall prove 
 the thing not worth the trouble ; and the philo- 
 sopher shall not kill himself. 
 
 And he shall make the tour of the globe, to 
 give his mistress's children time to grow, that 
 he may return to be their preceptor, and teach 
 them virtue, as he taught their mother. 
 
 And the philosopher shall see nothing in his 
 tour round the globe. 
 
 And he shall return to Europe. 
 And the husband of his mistress, though ac- 
 quainted with their whole intrigue, shall bring 
 his good friend to his house. 
 
 And the virtuous wife shall leap upon his 
 neck at his entrance, and the husband shall be 
 charmed - 3 and they shall all three embrace every 
 day ; and the husband shall be jocose upon 
 their adventures, and shall believe they are be- 
 come reasonable ; and they shall continue to 
 love with extasy, and shall delight to remember 
 their voluptuousness ; and they shall walk hand 
 in hand, and weep.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. ]6S 
 
 And the philosopher being in a boat, with his 
 mistress alone, shall be inclined to throw her 
 overboard, and jump after her. 
 
 And they shall call all this virtue and philo- 
 sophy. 
 
 And while they talk of virtue and philosophy, 
 no one shall be able to comprehend what is 
 either virtue or philosophy. 
 
 And they shall prove virtue no longer to con- 
 sist in the fear of temptation, but in the pleasure 
 of being continually exposed to it ; and philo- 
 sophy shall be the art of making vice amiable. 
 
 x\nd the philosopher's mistress shall have a 
 few trees and a small stream in her garden; and 
 she shall call her gardens Elysium, and no one 
 shall be able to comprehend her. 
 
 And she shall feed the wanton sparrows in her 
 Elysium ; and she shall watch her domestics, 
 male and female, lest they should be as amor- 
 ous as herself. 
 
 And she shall sup with her day-labourers, 
 and hold them in great respect ; and shall beat 
 hemp with them, with her philosopher at her 
 side. 
 
 And her philosopher will determine to beat 
 hemp the next day, the day after, and every day 
 of his life. 
 
 And the labourers shall sing, and the philoso.
 
 164 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 pher shall be enchanted by their melodies, al- 
 though not Italian. 
 
 And she shall educate her children with great 
 care, and shall not let them speak before stran- 
 gers, nor hear the name of God. 
 
 And she shall gormandize ; but she shall eat 
 beans and pease seldom, and only in the temple 
 of Apollo, and this shall be philosophic for- 
 bearance. 
 
 And she shall write to her good friend, that 
 she continues as she began, that is, to love him 
 passionately. 
 
 And the husband shall send the letter to the 
 lover. 
 
 And they shall not know what is become of 
 the lover. 
 
 And they shall not care what is become of 
 the lover. 
 
 And the whole romance shall be useful, good, 
 and moral; for it shall prove that daughters 
 have a right to dispose of their hearts, hands, 
 and favours, without consulting parents, or re- 
 garding the inequality of conditions. 
 
 And it shall shew, that, while you talk of 
 virtue, it is useless to practise it. 
 
 And that it is the duty of a young girl to go 
 to bed to one man, and marry another. 
 
 And that it is sufficient for those who deliver
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 165 
 
 themselves up to vice to feel a temporary remorse 
 for virtue. 
 
 And that a husband ought to open his doors 
 and his arms to his wife's lover. 
 
 And that the wife ought to have him for ever 
 in her arms, and take in good part the husband's 
 jokes and the lover's whims. 
 
 And she ought to prove, or believe she has 
 proved, that love between married people is use- 
 less and impertinent. 
 
 And this book shall be written in an emphatic 
 stile, which shall impose upon simple people. 
 
 And the author shall abound in words, and 
 shall suppose he abounds in arguments. 
 
 And he shall heap one exaggeration upon 
 another, and he shall have no exceptions. 
 
 And he shall wish to be forcible ; and he shall 
 be extravagant ; and he shall always industri- 
 ously draw general conclusions from particular 
 cases. 
 
 And he shall neither know simplicity, truth, 
 or nature ; and he shall apply all his force to 
 explain the easiest or most trifling things ; and 
 sarcasm shall be thought reason, and his talents 
 shall caricature virtue, and overthrow good 
 sense ; and he shall gaze upon the phautoms of 
 his brain, and his eyes shall never see reality. 
 And, like empirics, who make wounds to shew
 
 166 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 the power of their specifics, he shall poison souls, 
 that he may have the glory of curing them ; and 
 the poison shall act violently on the mind and 
 on the heart j but the antidote shall act on the 
 mind only, and the poison shall prevail. 
 
 And he shall vaunt that he has dug a pit, and 
 think himself free from reproach, by saying, 
 " Woe be to the young girls that fall into my 
 pit ; I have warned them of it in my preface." 
 And young girls never read prefaces. 
 
 And when, in his romance, he shall have mu- 
 tually degraded philosophy by manners, and 
 manners by philosophy, he shall say, a corrupt 
 people must have romances. 
 
 And he shall also say, a corrupt people must 
 have rogues. 
 
 And he shall leave the world to draw the con- 
 clusion. 
 
 And he shall add, to justify himself for having 
 written a book where vice predominates, that 
 he lived in an age when it was impossible to be 
 good. 
 
 And, to excuse himself, he shall calumniate 
 all mankind. 
 
 And shall threaten to despise all those who do 
 not believe in his book. 
 
 And virtuous people shall consider his folly 
 with an eye of pity.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 167 
 
 And he shall no longer be called a philoso- 
 pher, but the most eloquent of all the sophists. 
 
 And they shall wonder how a pure mind could 
 conceive such an impure book. 
 
 And those who believed in him shall believe 
 in him no more. 
 
 E. C. 
 
 =5=5== 
 
 The two following letters lately fell into my 
 hands. They are interesting and natural, and 
 may be useful, as they speak the language of 
 good sense, founded on experience, and strongly 
 exemplify, that rectitude of conduct alone can 
 insure happiness and peace of mind. They are 
 said to be written by the famous Constantia Phil- 
 lips, in her fortieth year, to the late Lord Ches- 
 terfield, in which she gives a picture of her own 
 feelings, amidst all the pleasure, gaiety, admira- 
 tion, and splendour, that attended her in the 
 meridian of life. 
 
 In her retirement she was occupied in edu- 
 cating a niece. Little, perhaps, might be ex- 
 pected from a person of her character on such a 
 subject as female education, but her plan will 
 be found well calculated to train a young wo-
 
 168 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 man to avoid the rocks on which she herself had 
 struck. 
 
 I am, &c. 
 
 Scipio. 
 
 LETTER FIRST. 
 
 " When I wait upon your Lordship with my 
 usual sprightliness and gaiety, pleased with the 
 chit-chat of an hour, my loss of beauty is for- 
 gotten, and you go back five-and-twenty years, 
 for my entertainment, and even condescend to 
 suit your conversation to that gay time; ima- 
 gining, no doubt, that I have too much of the 
 woman in my composition to endure the thoughts 
 of antiquated beauty. But, my Lord, believe 
 me, I am so little out of humour with my loss 
 that way, that I could, with infinite pleasure and 
 entertainment to myself, talk to your Lordship 
 upon graver matters, without being under any 
 apprehension that my sentiments would lessen 
 me in your esteem. It is true, I was born con- 
 stitutionally with as great a share of vivacity and 
 spirits as any woman in the world ; but I may 
 say by fortune, as Milton said upon his own 
 blindness : " In my beginning I was presented 
 with an universal blank; and the obligations I 
 had to nature were perverted by my accidental
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 16<) 
 
 poverty, which turned that beauty that was be- 
 stowed on me to so many snares by which I was 
 ruined and undone ; and, in consequence, I have 
 passed my life in sorrow and misery :" And 
 however this declaration may shock your Lord- 
 ship's belief, it is most solemnly true ; for, when 
 in my youth, a time in which we are generally 
 too much taken up with pleasures, to give our- 
 selves leisure to reflect upon the rectitude of the 
 means by which we obtain them ; even then, I 
 say, when we cheat our understandings with the 
 dazzling prospects of imaginary pleasures, I 
 was wretched ! because the pleasures and 
 gaieties which I tasted, had not their foundation 
 upon a just and honourable basis. I was al- 
 lured and flattered by gaudy appearances, be- 
 cause I saw the eyes and adoration of the world 
 followed those appearances j but, my Lord, my 
 nightly slumbers, and the moments we are wont 
 to turn our eyes inward on ourselves, were dis- 
 turbed, and the sweets of rest embittered by the 
 stinging reflections that followed the means by 
 which those appearances were supported ! Still, 
 however, I went on, in hopes of better fate, until 
 I found myself in the condition of a young pro- 
 digal, who, having brought his fortune to the last 
 stake, hazards even that, hoping to retrieve ; 
 and, like him too, (but alas ! too late), I found
 
 170 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 myself cheated and undone : And this I soon 
 found out ; but at the same time perceived that 
 cruel bar for ever shut against me, by which our 
 unhappy sex, when once they offend against 
 Virtue's sacred rule, are rigorously excluded 
 from any degree of fame, be our future conduct 
 ever so nice, or scrupulously regular. 
 
 . 
 Such is the fate unhappy women find, 
 And such the curse er.tail'd upon our kind, 
 That Man, the lawless libertine, may rove 
 Free and unquestion'd through the wilds of love ; 
 While Woman, Sense and Nature's easy fool, 
 If poor weak Woman swerve from Virtue's rule 
 If, strongly charm'd, she leave the thorny way, 
 And in the softer paths of Pleasure stray, 
 Ruin ensues, reproach, and endless shame, 
 And one false step for ever damns her fame. 
 In vain, with tears, the loss she may deplore % 
 
 In vain look back to what she was before > 
 
 She sets, like stars that fall to rise no more. 3 
 
 " I became careless of my conduct ; because 
 I found all efforts to retrieve my loss were in 
 vain : Were it otherwise, no woman, having 
 had but a tolerable education, could possibly, 
 when reflections returned, submit to live in any 
 degree of infamy, let the temptations be ever so 
 great and flattering. For my own part, I most 
 solemnly aver, I would not. To have been mis-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 171 
 
 tress even to an emperor, I should have always 
 looked upon as a state of infamy, misery, and 
 dependence, to which I would have esteemed 
 the humblest condition of innocence that can be 
 imagined, infinitely preferable. 
 
 Such, indeed, are the disadvantages we labour 
 under from being born women, that, for my own 
 part, were beauty as lasting as our period of life, 
 to change my sex I would be contented to be as 
 deformed and ugly as vEsop. 
 
 " For example, who denies MrT G 
 
 to be a man of honour ? Yet this very man first 
 betrayed and ruined the unhappy Miss Phil- 
 lips ; basely, nay villainously ruined her, and 
 after that abandoned her to sorrow, misery, and 
 infamy, which was the source of all the ruin and 
 unhappiness that has since befallen her, and for 
 which she is despised and shunned by the mo- 
 dest and valuable part of her own sex, and 
 treated with levity by yours. 
 
 " In the first outsetting of a young girl's life, 
 if she makes a slip from honour, how quick so- 
 ever her return may be, though her life and con- 
 duct should ever after escape, yet she will be 
 branded to her last moments with that misde- 
 meanour and misfortune ; and if she is beautiful, 
 every man thinks he has a right to demand the
 
 172 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 possession of her person, upon the same base 
 terms with the first ! 
 
 " My life has been one continued scene of 
 error, mistake, and unhappiness. I was, by my 
 ill fate, left mistress of myself, before the time I 
 ought to have forsaken my nursery : A great 
 lady indeed would have been my kind protec- 
 tress ; but it pleased my father to remove me 
 from her protection. Like your Lordship, I 
 launched early into the world ; but you, with 
 all the advantages of high birth and fortune; I 
 with nothing but my beauty, which indeed, 
 while it lasted, amply supplied the deficiencies 
 of my fortune. You travelled to do your coun- 
 try honour ; I wandered in foreign countries too, 
 because strangers paid me those honours I was 
 denied in my own, till tired with seeing and 
 being seen, I returned to my native home, which 
 I always pined after, though the only one in 
 which I have been ill treated. However, from 
 the strange vicissitudes of my fortune, I have at 
 length gleaned this useful and necessary part of 
 philosophy : I have lived in the world long 
 enough to despise it ; I have sought for a friend 
 till I am tired with the search ; and I find the 
 only real comforts we can enjoy are those we 
 make to ourselves."
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 173 
 
 
 
 LETTER SECOND. 
 
 i 
 My Lord, 
 
 I frequently roam up and down my little 
 garden, and, " in my minds eye," behold your 
 Lordship the same way employed, and it is then 
 I look down upon the world. 
 
 The ill treatment I have received from it has 
 taught me wisdom, but not hardness of heart. I 
 am never so contented as when I can contribute 
 to the happiness of those about me. 
 
 In this little state of tranquillity I move ; but, 
 as life would soon become tiresome had we no 
 end to pursue, mine is bent on the preservation 
 and happiness of an only sister and her little fa- 
 mily, of whom I am the sole support and depen- 
 dence. Part of these is one daughter, now about 
 the age of fifteen j and in the pains I have taken 
 with her education, will best be described my 
 sentiments of the true duty of a woman. 
 
 My Lord, I have taught her to love and to 
 fear God as the first principle, on which her 
 every other happiness depends ; for the modish 
 way of teaching young ladies this first of duties, 
 I look upon as one of the most shocking neglects 
 in their education ; and so little is this essential 
 part regarded, that if you ask of what religion a
 
 174 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 fine lady is, she is scarce able to give you a ra- 
 tional answer : Indeed, if you proceed farther, 
 and inquire respecting the rules and tenets of it, 
 you find them, for the most part, totally igno- 
 rant ! and I must confess, in either sex, where 
 they have not real religion, by which, my Lord, 
 I don't mean any particular mode of worship, 
 but the true love and fear of God, there can be 
 no other moral virtue : For I can very soon 
 bring myself to conceive, what the man or wo- 
 man's actions may be, who has no dependence 
 upon future reward or punishment. 
 
 My Lord, I have most carefully examined 
 what the word virtue means, to prevent this 
 child's running away with an idea, that the 
 whole of virtue is comprized in chastity. I hold 
 that to be no doubt a concomitant ; but that it is 
 also necessary that a woman should have every 
 other moral virtue to accompany it. In order 
 to attain to this pitch of perfection, I would 
 have her general behaviour modest without con- 
 straint, affable without boldness, reserved with- 
 out prudery, and gay without levity, and, by 
 shewing her the advantages of temperance and 
 patience, I hope to make them her choice. I 
 shall endeavour, too, to teach her humility, but 
 without meanness ; for I would give her such a 
 consciousness of her own worth as may tend to
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 175 
 
 her preservation. I will also endeavour to give 
 her an idea of charity, not as it is commonly 
 * understood, but according to the true genuine 
 sense and meaning of it ; and I look upon one 
 essential of that charity, we are recommended to 
 practise for one another, to have an utter detes- 
 tation for detraction. Truth, my Lord, I re- 
 commend as a fundamental never to be varied 
 from, and the strictest watch over her passions ; 
 for, though no human creature is able to attain 
 a total government of them, yet, closely guarded, 
 they may be kept in such subjection, as to give 
 Us the proper mastery of them, and, in that case, 
 how many evils do we avoid ? Pope says, 
 
 Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, 
 As, to be hated, needs but to be seen ; 
 Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, 
 We first endure, then pity, then embrace. 
 
 By reminding her of the ridiculous figure she 
 frequently observes talking women make, she 
 will find the necessity of a competent share of 
 taciturnity ; and that she may be sure to keep 
 her own honest purposes, I have taught her to 
 think it dishonest to betray the secrets of other 
 people. 
 
 I remember an observation of Montaigne, 
 who was scrupulously careful of the education
 
 176 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 of an only daughter When his wife died, he 
 took a governess into the house for her instruc- 
 tion ; and being one day in hearing when the 
 young lady was reading, she came to a phrase 
 which might bear a double entendre. The go- 
 verness stopped her with " Oh ! ne, Miss, you 
 should have passed that over Never do so 
 again." 
 
 Montaigne's reflection upon this circumstance 
 was, that too scrupulous caution often raises a 
 curiosity in young girls' minds, that would other- 
 wise have been dormant, and was frequently 
 fatal to them. They may learn from such a 
 plan, if not enforced by good sense and good 
 principles, to mask and conceal their passions 
 but not to conquer or subdue them j and they 
 may lie smothered, only as a fire pent up for 
 want of air, which, if ever they give vent to, 
 spreads to their complete ruin and destruction. 
 I therefore am very careful, my Lord, how I 
 talk mysteriously before this girl ; and when- 
 ever I mention any thing to her that concerns 
 her behaviour towards your sex, I never talk of 
 them as scarecrows ; but endeavour to inculcate 
 how far they may, conducted by her own deli- 
 cacy and prudence, be instrumental to her hap- 
 piness, and, without that special care of herself, 
 to her utter and certain misery.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 177 
 
 She is a beautiful girl ; yet in my life I never 
 told her that beauty had. or ought to have, one 
 single grain of merit essential to her well-being : 
 On the contrary, that there is no other way to 
 make herself happy, but by endeavouring to 
 cultivate those lasting accomplishments of which 
 men never tire A well-taught honest mind. 
 
 She has great sharpness of wit and vivacity.- 
 This, my Lord, I keep under the severest con- 
 straint, by perpetually exposing to her view pic- 
 tures of ridicule, in the characters of witty 
 wives, which, begging their pardons, I must 
 confess I think one of the greatest curses an 
 honest man can be tormented with. In short, I 
 have an utter abhorrence for wit at any rate, 
 unless it is in a sensible good-natured man's 
 keeping ; but in a wife, it is productive of many 
 ills. The first thing one of these conceited wit- 
 ty ones generally finds out is, that her husband 
 is a fool ; and can there be a more dangerous 
 situation in nature for a woman ? They may 
 flatter themselves with an opinion of the figure 
 they make in that light ; but, my Lord, I do 
 insist upon it, the only one they ever can shine 
 in is that which borrows its lustre from their 
 husbands. But to return to my niece. 
 
 To prevent it ever creeping into her thoughts 
 that any woman can be a goddess, I take great 
 
 M
 
 178 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 care that her reading shall be suited to the lec- 
 tures I give. I am not, nor in my life ever 
 was, possessed of a novel or a romance. She has 
 Telemaque to read for the improvement of her 
 French ; the Bible and Dr Tillotson for her 
 English, and both, I hope, for her moral in- 
 struction ; History I read with her, and La 
 Bruyere I lay near her by way of looking- 
 glass ; and now and then, instead of telling her 
 what I mean, I set her to translate some of the 
 useful places. How my endeavours may suc- 
 ceed, Heaven only knows ; but these are the 
 best methods I can suggest to train up a girl, 
 by which she can ever learn what is truly the 
 duty of a woman ; and if she lives to that es- 
 tate, this ground- work, I hope, will produce 
 condescension, affability, temperance, prudence, 
 charity, chastity, wisdom, and religious con- 
 duct; out of which materials, if she does not 
 make the man happy who falls to her lot, I am 
 afraid it will be his own fault. 
 E. C. 
 
 May 31, 1784. 
 The letters to Lord Chesterfield contained a 
 great deal of good sense, and well deserve the 
 perusal of female readers. As supplementary
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 179 
 
 to one part of these letters, allow me to send 
 you the following passage from Swift's account 
 of Mrs Johnson (his celebrated Stella), written 
 after her death. It may teach some of our sex 
 how to check the offensive presumption of a 
 puppy, or the vulgar impudence of a blockhead, 
 which it is too often our misfortune now-a-days 
 to meet with. The dissoluteness of mens educa- 
 tion allows many of them to make use of a low 
 unbecoming species of wit, which yet they have 
 delicacy enough to be shocked at when uttered 
 before a sister, and would be disgusted at the 
 woman who should seem to understand them. 
 It would be well for modern manners that many 
 of our sex could exert the spirit of Stella. 
 Yours, &c. 
 
 Louisa; 
 
 " She never (says Dr Swift) interrupted any 
 body who spoke; she laughed at no mistakes 
 they made, but helped them out with modesty 5 
 and, if a good thing was spoken, but neglected, 
 she would not let it fall, but set it in the best 
 light to those who were present. She listened 
 to all that was said, and had never the least dis- 
 traction, or absence of thought. 
 
 It was not safe nor prudent, in her presence, 
 to offend in the least word against modesty ; for
 
 180 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 she then gave fall employment to her wit, her 
 contempt, and resentment, under which even 
 stupidity and brutality were forced to sink into 
 confusion ; and the guilty person, by her future 
 avoiding him like a bear or a satyr, was never 
 in a way to transgress a second time. 
 
 It happened, one single coxcomb, of the pert 
 kind, was in her company, among several other 
 ladies; and, in his flippant way, began to de- 
 liver some double meanings ; the rest flapped 
 their fans, and used the other common expe- 
 dients practised in such cases, of appearing not 
 to mind or comprehend what was said. Her 
 behaviour was very different, and perhaps may 
 be censured. She said thus to the man : " Sir, 
 All these ladies and I understand your mean- 
 ing very well, having, in spite of our care, too 
 often met with those of your sex who wanted 
 manners and good sense. But, believe me, neither 
 virtuous nor even vicious women love such kind 
 of conversation. However, I will leave you, 
 and report your behaviour; and, whatever visit 
 I make, I shall first inquire at the door whether 
 you are in the house, that I may be sure to 
 avoid you." I know not whether a majority of 
 ladies would approve of such a proceeding ; but 
 I believe the practice of it would soon put an 
 end to that corrupt conversation, the worst effect
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 181 
 
 of dulness, ignorance, impudence, and vulgarity, 
 and the highest affront to the modesty and un- 
 derstanding of the female sex/' 
 E. C. 
 
 Sir, August 28, 1784. 
 
 The following paper I lately met with by ac- 
 cident, and I send it you as a valuable commu- 
 nication. It contains the genuine sentiments 
 (for it is in his own hand-writing) of one who 
 lately lived an honour to this country as a man 
 of learning, a philosopher, a critic, and a friend 
 to society. The reflections of such men in the 
 calm hours of retirement are always to be re- 
 garded as precious. It is from them that we 
 may look for useful observations, truth, and 
 good sense ; for the hurry bustle, dissipation, 
 and luxury of the world, leave little room for 
 reflection to the generality of mankind. Most 
 men pass through life as through a fever, and at 
 the close of it, may say with the celebrated 
 Churchhill in his last words, What a fool have I 
 been ! The following lines are well worthy the 
 attention of every individual, and, if made a 
 proper use of, will be a direct means of produ-
 
 182 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 cing that reformation of morals and manners at 
 present so much wanted. 
 
 Pascal. 
 
 " The setting apart one day in seven, for 
 public worship, is not a pious institution merely, 
 but highly moral ; with regard to the latter, all 
 men are equal in the presence of God ; and, 
 when a congregation pray for mercy and pro- 
 tection, one must be inflamed with good will 
 and brotherly love to all. In the next place, 
 the serious and devout tone of mind, inspired by 
 public worship, suggests naturally self-examina- 
 tion. Retired from the bustle of the world, on 
 that day of rest, the errors we have been guilty 
 of are recalled to memory : We are afflicted for 
 those errors, and firmly resolve to be more on 
 our guard in time coming. In short, Sunday is 
 a day of rest from wordly concerns, in order to 
 be more usefully employed upon those that are 
 internal. Sunday, accordingly, is a day of ac- 
 count ; and a candid account every seventh day 
 is the best preparation for the great day of ac- 
 count. A person who diligently follows out 
 this preparatory discipline will seldom be at a 
 loss to answer for his own conduct, called upon 
 by God or man. This leads me naturally to 
 condemn the practice of abandoning to diver-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 183 
 
 sion or merriment what remains of Sunday after 
 public worship; such as parties of pleasure, 
 gaming, &c. or anything that trifles away the 
 time without a serious thought, as if the purpose 
 were to cancel every virtuous impression made 
 at public worship. 
 
 " Unhappily this salutary institution can only 
 be preserved in vigour during the days of piety 
 and virtue. Power and opulence are the darling 
 objects of every nation ; and yet, in every na- 
 tion possessed of power and opulence, virtue 
 subsides, selfishness prevails, and sensuality be- 
 comes the ruling passion. Then it is that the 
 most sacred institutions first lose their hold, next 
 are disregarded, and at last are made a subject 
 of ridicule." 
 E.C. 
 
 [The above letter occasioned the following.] 
 
 Sir, 
 
 I observed, in your paper, some serious and 
 well intended reflections on the observation of 
 Sunday. Permit me, with a design equally 
 laudable, to request your insertion of the follow- 
 ing narrative. 
 
 In riding last summer through that beautiful
 
 184 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 part of Westmoreland which is in the neigh- 
 bourhood of the lake of Windermere, I chanced 
 to pass through a small village at the time when 
 the bell was tolling for church, it being a Sun- 
 day morning. 
 
 I was born and bred a Presbyterian ; but, hav- 
 ing little of the sour leaven of fanaticism in my 
 composition, which inclines some pious people 
 to look with abhorrence on all who entertain 
 ideas of religion different in any respect from 
 their own, I felt a strong desire to join in the 
 exercise of public worship, with the decent or- 
 derly set of country-men and healthful smiling 
 maidens who were crossing the stile before me 
 to go to church. I gave my horse to my boy to 
 lead to the village inn, and, entering the porch, 
 was immediately perceived by a grey-headed old 
 man, who acted as beadle, and who, with many 
 bows and scrapes, conducted the stranger gentle- 
 man into the parson's own pew. Here was 
 seated his wife, a decent comely woman, with 
 four of her children, the eldest not exceeding ten 
 years of age. The clergyman himself, a portly 
 middle-aged man, in whose countenance sat 
 peace, plenty, and good-will to all mankind, 
 performed the accustomed service of the liturgy, 
 with every appearance of a real sense of the na- 
 ture of that sacred office in which he was en-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 185 
 
 gaged. He then read forth a psalm of thanks- 
 giving, which was sung in no inharmonious 
 strain by this rustic congregation, he himself 
 leading the choir, with a clear, melodious, and 
 animating voice. 
 
 That done, he gave a short sermon on these 
 words of the Psalmist, " The earth is full of the 
 goodness of the Lord." In this plain discourse, 
 which had no pretensions either to genius in the 
 composition, or elegance of stile, there was, 
 however, a great deal of that pleasing, rational, 
 and elevating system of religion, .which I sin- 
 cerely wish we oftener heard displayed from our 
 pulpits, and warmly impressed upon our minds. 
 This plain good man represented the Almighty 
 as a being of boundless beneficence, who formed 
 every living creature for the perception of hap- 
 piness; who extended his favour peculiarly to 
 man, by multiplying to him the sources of en- 
 joyment, and endowing him with the capacity 
 of deriving either use or pleasure from all the 
 objects of creation. He thence inferred, that 
 the thankful enjoyment of these blessings was 
 the most acceptable service we could pay to our 
 Creator; a contented spirit, the highest tribute 
 of praise. See, said he, the inferior animals, not 
 blessed as we with reason they approach, by 
 instinct, the hand that feeds them they testify
 
 186 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 their pleasure by gestures of delight : The horse 
 bounds playfully over the fresh pastures > and 
 submits his neck to the hand of his master: The 
 dog fawns upon him, and eagerly attempts to 
 return his caresses. Shall man fall short of the 
 inferior creation ? Does instinct inspire more sen- 
 sibility than sense and reason ? Shall man, insen- 
 sible of the kindness of his Creator, refuse those 
 blessings which He has showered around him ? 
 Shall he ungratefully spurn at those innocent de- 
 lights which Nature yields, and which all crea- 
 tion furnishes ? Shame to those teachers of a se- 
 vere and gloomy creed, who paint the Supreme 
 Being in the horrid colours of their own distem- 
 pered minds or vitiated hearts. A tyrant may 
 delight in the wanton exertions of power over 
 the lives of his subjects : Some diabolical na- 
 tures have spread a feast before the wretch whom 
 they condemned to die with hunger. But how 
 shocking the thought, that the Divinity should 
 resemble what is monstrous in humanity ! 
 " The Christian," says the gloomy fanatic, " is 
 born to affliction few and evil are his days 
 sorrows encompass him from his cradle dangers 
 surround him on every side hell gapes under 
 his feet. The paths of life, indeed, are strewed 
 with pleasures ; but these are the snares of the 
 tempter, which God permits to be thrown in the
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 187 
 
 way of his creatures, to try their resolution, to ex- 
 ercise their Christian forbearance, and to purify 
 them for himself." How false, my children, how 
 distorted is thispicture of religion ! Did God then 
 create man to be miserable ? Did he form him to 
 be the victim of tyrannic caprice? Shocking im- 
 piety ! How then should the love of God be 
 required of us as the first of our duties. Is it 
 possible to love Him as the Divinity, who, if a hu- 
 man being, would be an object of hatred ? Nay, 
 nay, my children, God is not such an one as 
 these men represent him. Into his nature and 
 attributes our weak eyes cannot penetrate ; nor 
 is it necessary we should at all attempt it. We 
 are concerned only to know what is his will; 
 and this stands revealed, not only in his word, 
 but in the hearts of his creatures. Look there, 
 my children, examine your own hearts ; they 
 will teach you that the great end of your exist- 
 ence is to be happy yourselves, and to contribute 
 to the happiness of your fellow-creatures. Vice 
 and immorality are contrary to both these ends 
 They poison the enjoyment of life, both in 
 yourselves and in others ; they are therefore 
 hateful in the sight of God, and must be attend- 
 ed with his heavy displeasure. But be ye vir- 
 tuous; be active in your several occupations; 
 be contented with your lot in life ; be not envi-
 
 188 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ous of those that are above you, for they have 
 their cares, which are greater than yours ; be af- 
 fectionate and charitable one towards another ; 
 love God as the Father of mercies ; and enjoy 
 those innocent pleasures which are within your 
 reach, for this is the tribute most acceptable to 
 your Creator: Be happy here, and trust in his 
 infinite mercy for your eternal happiness here- 
 after. 
 
 Service being ended, I could not refrain from 
 paying my compliments to the good man, with 
 whose discourse I had been truly edified. In 
 return, I was entreated to accept of a part of his 
 family dinner, and followed him to the parson- 
 age-house, a neat simple building, around which 
 was about half an acre of ground laid out in a 
 garden, in which, amidst a profusion of excel- 
 lent pot-herbs, there was a beautiful variety of 
 fruits^ flowers, and shrubbery. Here, said he, 
 is my dwelling to me a paradise. This little 
 garden yields me both health and amusement. 
 I labour it with my own hands ; and if, at any 
 time, I require a little aid, my honest friends of 
 the village strive who shall be the first to assist 
 me. 
 
 We were called to dinner; and found, in a 
 snug little parlour, adorned with maps and prints, 
 the table spread, and a surloin of beef smoking
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 189 
 
 on the board, with its attendant pudding, to- 
 gether with a mess of excellent vegetables. Do 
 not think me extravagant or a voluptuary, said 
 my landlord this is not my daily fare but 
 Sunday is always with me a festival My wife, 
 Sir, is an excellent housewife better ale than 
 she brews is not in Westmoreland. Here a 
 tankard was produced, which justified the good 
 man's eulogium. Three charming boys and a 
 lovely girl, sat at table with us, and contributed, 
 by their innocent prattle, to enhance the plea- 
 sure of this domestic scene. " Tom," said the 
 father to the youngest of them, " tell me, my 
 brave boy, what trade wilt thou be, man ?" " I 
 will be a parson, father," said the boy. " A 
 parson; and why, forsooth?" " Because I 
 shall have beef and pudding a-Sundays ; and 
 every body will love me, as thev do you, father." 
 " Well said, my boy ; and a parson thou shalt 
 be, for thou hast right orthodox notions."-- 
 " Molly, my dear, give the parson another slice 
 of pudding." 
 
 After an hour spent at table, my good host 
 rose from his seat. You must excuse me for a 
 short time, said he, while I go to pay my even- 
 ing visits The duties of hospitality must give 
 way to the calls of the sick and needy. I fol- 
 lowed him to the door, where I observed a ser-
 
 190 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 vant with a basket, in which were the remains 
 of the dinner, which were to be distributed in his 
 visits. Addressing himself to me, " You have 
 spent, Sir, said he, the best part of the day with 
 me : 1 have a good bed at your service, which 
 you will do me a favour by accepting." I ex- 
 cused myself in the best manner I could, assuring 
 him it was with regret I must deny myself a con- 
 tinuance of the real pleasure I had received from 
 his company. He attended me to the inn ; and, 
 as we passed through a small common, I observ- 
 ed a circle of the young folks of the village, of 
 both sexes, seemingly engaged with great glee 
 and merriment in some country sports. The sight 
 was new to a Scots Presbyterian; and I asked 
 him, with some surprise, whether he allowed his 
 parishioners those liberties upon the Lord's day. 
 " I should certainly restrain them/' said he, " if 
 it was my belief, that the Lord could be dipleas- 
 ed with the sight of his creatures happy and in- 
 nocent : These young men and maidens, Sir, are, 
 to my knowledge, religiously and virtuously 
 educated : They labour assiduously through the 
 week : They are a comfort and support to their 
 parents. Man requires relaxation and amuse- 
 ment j but the poor cannot afford to sacrifice to 
 it any of those hours when labour is lawful. 
 Sunday, therefore, is the only day in which they
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 191 
 
 dare indulge in this natural, this necessary re- 
 freshment : These honest people look with plea- 
 sure to the approach of the Sabbath : They say 
 in their hearts, " This is the day which the Lord 
 hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it." 
 The sport, Sir, in which they are occupied is, I 
 dare engage, perfectly innocent: There is not 
 one in that circle whose disposition is not as well 
 known to me as that of my own children." 
 
 The respect and admiration which I felt for 
 this worthy man increased with every word he 
 uttered. How amiable, said I to myself, is reli- 
 gion, in the principles and practice of this good 
 pastor ! I took my leave of him as of one for 
 whom I was disposed to feel the warmest, the 
 most fraternal affection ; and I look upon this 
 day, which has procured me the acquaintance of 
 so valuable a character, as one of the most fortu- 
 nate of my life. 
 
 In a second letter, I shall send you a contrast 
 to this picture. 
 
 I am, &c. 
 
 E. C. Eusebius.
 
 192 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 LETTER SECOND. 
 
 Sir, 
 
 In my last letter, I sent you a few anecdotes 
 of a day spent with a country clergyman in the 
 west of England, in whose principles and prac- 
 tice, religion, in my opinion, appeared in its 
 most amiable garb. In fulfilment of a promise 
 which accompanied that letter, I now send you 
 a contrast to that picture, being genuine anec- 
 dotes of one whom the French at this day boast 
 of as an honour to their nation. 
 
 Blaise Pascal, author of the Lettres Provincial 
 les, Penstes Chretiennes, &c. was endowed by 
 nature with a premature and most acute genius, 
 which displayed itself particularly in natural 
 philosophy and the mathematics. While almost 
 an infant, he had, without the aid either of a 
 master, or of books, made a great progress in 
 geometry. While yet a boy, he had made dis- 
 coveries in the mathematics, which were the ad- 
 miration of the ablest philosophers in France. 
 He saw the demonstration of the most intricate 
 problems as it were intuitively, and without the 
 necessity of using a progressive chain of reason- 
 ing. The learned men of the age prognosticated 
 the greatest discoveries for the improvement of
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 1Q3 
 
 science, and the benefit of mankind, from the 
 matured abilities of this surprising youth. At 
 the age of twenty-four, upon reading some books 
 of devotion, the mind of Pascal underwent a 
 wonderful revolution. His sister, Madame Per- 
 rier, who has written his life, informs us, that, 
 from that time, he considered every worldly pur- 
 suit as unworthy of a Christian ; and laid down 
 a solemn resolution to devote the remainder of 
 his life to religion alone. 
 
 The first fruits of his extraordinary piety ma- 
 nifested themselves on occasion of a certain 
 philosophical lecturer, who, in some theological 
 disputations, had ventured to assert that there 
 was a difference in the corporeal nature of our 
 Saviour, from the flesh and blood of ordinary 
 men. Pascal's conscience compelled him im- 
 mediately to lodge an information against this 
 heretic with the Archbishop of Rouen. The 
 lecturer, to save himself from the vengeance of 
 the Church, publicly recanted his errors, which 
 was a great triumph to all good Catholics. 
 
 The next striking manifestation of the zeal of 
 Pascal, was the convincing a young and beauti- 
 ful sister, of the sinfulness of this world and its 
 vanities ; and making her believe there was the 
 highest merit in shutting herself up in a monas- 
 tery. She entered accordingly into one of the
 
 194 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 most austere and rigid discipline, where her con- 
 stitution warring with her piety, yielded, at 
 length, to the severities which she practised ; 
 and she died at the age of 36. 
 
 Madame Perrier proceeds to inform us, that 
 the young Pascal, from the moment of his con- 
 ceiving these thoughts of the excellence of reli- 
 gion, laid it down as a fixed principle to re- 
 nounce every gratification in life: Although 
 bred up with delicacy, and amidst opulence, he 
 now refused the assistance of a servant in the 
 performance of any thing which he could do for 
 himself: He would not suffer his bed to be made, 
 nor his dinner to be brought him : When the 
 calls of hunger became too importunate, he went 
 to the kitchen, and hastily satisfied them with 
 any thing he could find : To have a choice in 
 his food appeared to him the vilest sensuality. 
 He spent his whole time in prayer, and in the 
 reading of the Scriptures. 
 
 The biographer of Pascal tells us, that his con- 
 stitution was so utterly debilitated and worn out 
 by the rigour of his life, and the privation of all 
 the amusements customary to youth, that he be- 
 came the martyr of disease before he was thirty 
 years of age. His physicians endeavoured now 
 to dissuade him from those austerities which he 
 practised, by representing to him the danger 
 
 3
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 195 
 
 which his health underwent, and the absolute 
 necessity of making that (for some time at least) 
 the chief object of his care. But his sister, the 
 Nun, who was in a similar situation, returned 
 the kind offices he had shown to her, by con- 
 vincing him that his spiritual health was an ob- 
 ject of infinitely higher importance: That he 
 ought to proceed courageously in the course in 
 which he was now engaged j for that God cer- 
 tainly destined him for a state of much greater 
 perfection than what he had yet attained to. 
 These good counsels strengthened his pious re- 
 solutions ; and, from that time, all earthly objects 
 appeared to himutterly vain and frivolous, and 
 he gave himself up, without reserve, to the care 
 of his eternal welfare. 
 
 At this time, the extraordinary sanctity of his 
 character occasioned him frequent visits from 
 many pious persons of great rank, who wished 
 to be edified by his counsels and conversation. 
 In these visits he had great satisfaction, from 
 considering the advantage that might thence ac- 
 crue to the cause of religion ; but he began to 
 fear, lest a motive of vanity, which he was con- 
 scious had some share in this gratification, should 
 be offensive in the sight of God. He soon found, 
 says his sister, a remedy for that. He put round 
 his naked body aniron girdle, full of sharp points,
 
 196 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 and whenevera vain thought came across his ima- 
 gination, he struck the girdle with his elbow, so 
 as to force the points into his flesh, and this 
 quickly brought him back to a proper estimation 
 of himself. This practice he persevered in till 
 his death. About four years before that period 
 his infirmities and bodily complaints increased 
 to such a height, that he could neither follow, 
 as usual, his religious studies, nor assist others 
 as he was wont. This situation, however, was 
 very profitable to himself; for the patience with 
 which he endured his sufferings made him the 
 more acceptable to his Creator, and the maxim 
 which he inviolably pursued, # of refusing every 
 thing that was agreeable to his senses, fitted him 
 for that superior and extatic enjoyment for which 
 alone he panted. He continued in the mean- 
 time, in a most angelic manner, to mortify his 
 natural appetites and the calls of his senses. He 
 made it a rule to swallow his victuals without 
 chewing them, lest they should afford any grati- 
 fication to his palate ; for the same reason, when 
 taking medicines, he always preferred those that 
 were most nauseous. il Mortification and af- 
 fliction," he would frequently say, " is the con- 
 dition in which a Christian ought to pass his life. 
 How happy is it then for me to be reduced by 
 necessity to that salutary condition !" Thus he
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 197 
 
 continued, says his sister, advancing daily in per- 
 fection and spiritual health, as his bodily consti- 
 tution declined, till at length, in a fit of convul- 
 sion, which was miraculously suspended for a 
 few minutes, while he received the viaticum and 
 extreme unction, in the thirty-ninth year of his 
 age, he died. 
 
 On this picture, and the contrast which it 
 forms to that contained in my former letter, it is 
 not necessary to make many reflections. Two 
 very opposite characters are delineated in these 
 letters ; yet both acting upon the same principle, 
 a desire of regulating their life according to 
 what they believe to be the will of their Creator. 
 See the country clergyman, a man of plain com- 
 mon sense, without pretension to talents or to su- 
 periority of intellect, instilling into his flock the 
 love of the Supreme Being, as the Father of mer- 
 cies, delighted with the happiness of his crea- 
 tures. Behold him, with heartfelt delight, dis- 
 charging the duties which he owes to society, as 
 a husband, a father, and a friend. The inno- 
 cent enjoyment of life he represents as a duty of 
 religion. Happy in himself, he diffuses happi- 
 ness on all around him. View next the cele- 
 brated Pascal. Endowed by nature with a genius 
 to enlighten and improve mankind, to advance 
 the glory of God, by contributing to the good of
 
 198 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 society he conceives that mortification is ne- 
 cessary for his soul's welfare. He believes it 
 an act of piety to extinguish in the breast of a 
 sister the voice of nature urging to the blissful 
 duties of a wife and of a mother, and exults in 
 the thought that the austerities which shortened 
 her life were the price of her eternal salvation. 
 Pursuing for himself the same course, he solicits 
 pain and affliction, becomes the voluntary victim 
 of incurable disease, and dies, for the glory of 
 God, a premature death. 
 
 Who can hesitate a moment to determine which 
 of these men entertains the most worthy ideas of 
 the Divine Being ? Who will hesitate to ex- 
 claim, " If religion is amiable, what a hideous 
 monster is fanaticism !" 
 
 E. C, Eusebius. 
 
 [This subject was continued in the two follow- 
 ing Letters, in answer to Eusebius.] 
 
 LETTER FIRST. 
 
 Sir, 
 I perceive the communication I lately sent 
 you has occasioned two very well written and
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 199 
 
 well intended letters from Eusebius. The sen- 
 timents I gave you, under the accidental signa- 
 ture of Pascal, on the moral tendency of the 
 strict observance of Sunday, were from the 
 hand-writing of the late ingenious Lord Kames. 
 I thought they did great honour to his memory, 
 and I was happy to have the opportunity of 
 making them known to the public, although I 
 only mentioned him, by the way, as a philoso- 
 pher, a critic, and a friend to society. No man 
 will deny him the character; for the public 
 spirit which animated all his researches, his va- 
 rious erudition, and the persevering industry he 
 exerted for the instruction of the age, amidst 
 the duties of an important function, and the 
 multiplied occupations of an active private life, 
 entitle his memory to the most honourable ap- 
 plause. I said, that the reflections of such men, 
 in the calm hours of retirement, are always to 
 be regarded as precious ; for from them we may 
 look for observation, truth, and good sense. 
 But it has been reserved for Eusebius to term 
 the serious sensible sentiments of Lord Kames 
 fanatical. Could his Lordship raise his head 
 from the grave, what would his astonishment be, 
 and how would his contemporaries stare, at the 
 quick transition of opinions in the world which 
 they lately left !
 
 200 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Lord Kames says, " Sunday is a day of rest 
 from worldly concerns, in order to be more use- 
 fully employed upon those that are internal." 
 He condemns diversion or merriment, or what- 
 ever tends to dissipate or distract the thoughts 
 on that day, which ought to be passed in moral 
 improvement and self-examination. And will 
 not every person practising this, find themselves 
 better men and better Christians ? Yet this ra- 
 tional and solidly sensible opinion is, by Euse- 
 bius, thought to be fanaticism. From this one 
 is naturally led to inquire what fanaticism 
 means ? and, upon examination, it will be found 
 to resemble Pope's description of the north. 
 
 Ask where's the north ? At York, 'tis on the Tweed ; 
 
 In Scotland, at the Orcades ; and there, 
 
 At Greenland, Zembla, or the Lord knows where. 
 
 Every person, according to his own system of 
 indulgence, terms the person observing a purer 
 system of conduct a fanatic. The gross volup- 
 tuary, indulging in lawless sensuality, terms the 
 man of moderation and morality, who scruples 
 at acts of intemperance, a fanatic. The person 
 who observes the external forms of religion, to 
 quiet a stupid conscience, although secretly 
 practising the grossest vices, terms the man who 
 openly endeavours at purity of heart and con-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 201 
 
 duct, a fanatic. In short, every person who 
 rises above another in moral rectitude, is (now-a- 
 days), by the inferior, termed a fanatic; and fa- 
 naticism is applied, from the lowest degree of 
 brutal debasement, to each superior class, as 
 they rise towards moral perfection. 
 
 Eusebius contrasts Lord Karnes's opinion of 
 the tendency of the strict observance of Sunday 
 with a Sunday he passed (as he says) in West- 
 moreland. Eusebius tells us of a parson, the very 
 picture of fat contented ignorance smiling on the 
 earth (who probably never existed but in his own 
 brain), that enjoyed a smoking sirloin on Sundays, 
 and drank good ale ; whose doctrine to his flock 
 was, " See the inferior animals, not blessed with 
 reason ; they frisk and play, devour their pas- 
 ture, and follow their instincts, and are happy; 
 therefore, why should man, who is of a superior 
 nature, not enjoy what is set before him ?" that 
 is, why should not man, endued with reason, 
 enlightened by revelation, accountable for every 
 thought, word, and action, and whose highest 
 moral attainments fall short of his duty, not be a 
 beast, or indulge as much as they ? 
 
 After the account of this edifying sermon, 
 and the comfortable dinner, we are told of the 
 parson's walking out to distribute the picked 
 bones of the sirloin, and of his parishioners*
 
 202 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 gamboling and dancing in merriment on the 
 green. The parson, it is said, approved of the 
 exercise, trusting they were innocently employed. 
 To have completed the pious innocent day, his 
 Reverence should have joined the groupe in the 
 country-dance, and then he would have exhibited 
 the character of a perfect clergyman in the opi- 
 nion of Eusebius. To sum up the whole pic- 
 ture, it would then stand thus : On Sunday to 
 teach his flock to follow nature, and carefully 
 observe the beasts of the field as their example, 
 and be thankful. After this instructing disco- 
 very, to go to the parsonage- house, and eat 
 smoking beef, quaff ale, and take a pipe. In 
 the evening to see his parishioners dance ; and, 
 no doubt, afterwards, with his family, to take a 
 rubber at whist, or a pool at quadrille. The 
 whole of the day's transactions would be sancti- 
 fied by the jolly parson's saying, at the close, 
 " The Lord be praised The earth is full of the 
 goodness of the Lord." 
 
 May such clergyman, however, as Eusebius's 
 parson, be long kept from being the spiritual 
 guides of Scotland. When the clergy become, 
 either by precept or example, the means of re- 
 laxing the morals, or flattering the follies and 
 vices of the people, a speedy inlet must follow 
 to barbarism, ignorance, and crimes.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 203 
 
 The contrast in the second letter of Eusebius, 
 of Blaise Pascal, who carried mortification to an 
 extreme degree, has no connection with the ra- 
 tional piety contained in the quotation from Lord 
 Kames, on the importance to the individual, and 
 to society, of keeping Sunday religiously, there- 
 fore cannot here be taken notice of. It may, with 
 truth, however, be affirmed, that no person can 
 read the writings of Pascal without admiration 
 and improvement. I shall, for once more, as- 
 sume the signature. 
 
 E. C. Pascal. 
 
 LETTER SECOND. 
 
 Sir, 
 
 Some papers which you lately inserted con- 
 cerning the observation of Sunday, have led me 
 to offer you a few remarks upon that subject. 
 
 In this age of extreme politeness, when fa- 
 shion denominates every thing serious fanatical, 
 it is possible that some, with a fastidious glance 
 and an interjection to this effect, may pass on 
 to another part of the paper. But we are not all 
 of this class 3 many of us love to have a little of
 
 204 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 the useful mixed with the amusing, and will not 
 think a corner of a Saturday's paper ill employ- 
 ed in recommending a decent regard to the Sun- 
 day. 
 
 I, among others, was exceedingly gratified 
 by the fragment which you lately inserted 
 from the papers of a late eminent philosopher 
 and judge of this country upon that subject. 
 Your correspondent, who favoured you with this 
 communication, is entitled to the thanks of 
 every friend to society ; for the sentiments of 
 Lord Karnes, in favour of religious duty, will 
 have weight with many, who either do not often 
 hear, or pay but little regard to the admonitions 
 of professional teachers. 
 
 But I am not a little at a loss to conceive 
 what good end your other correspondent could 
 propose to himself, first, by his tale of an En- 
 glish parson (borrowed, I suppose, at least in 
 part, from Goldsmith's Vicar of Wakefield), who 
 vindicated his parishioners in devoting Sunday 
 afternoons to public sports ; and then, by the 
 dismal picture of fanaticism exhibited in the ex- 
 ample of the good but misguided Pascal. 
 
 Pray, has this age any tendency to fanaticism, 
 or do the manners of the limes indicate a dis- 
 position to observe the Sabbath with a Judaical 
 rigour ? If your correspondent has any fears
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 205 
 
 upon this head, let him only observe the streets 
 of the metropolis, or of almost any other great 
 town, upon Sunday evenings, and he will soon 
 be cured. But the spirited and just animadver- 
 sions of Pascal, save me the trouble of bestowing 
 farther attention upon Eusebius. 
 
 What I wish your readers to be persuaded of 
 is, that the Sabbath is really of divine institution ; 
 and that, although it were not, its beneficial con- 
 sequences to society are so obvious and so great, 
 as to recommend its religious observance to 
 every friend to virtue. 
 
 That a certain portion of our time is due to 
 the worship of our Creator, and to preparation 
 for that endless state of being to which the cur- 
 rent of time is fast carrying all of us, is a dictate 
 of reason, it is founded in man's condition and 
 prospects, and is indeed a self-evident proposi- 
 tion : but reason could not have certainly told 
 what particular portion of time ought to be set 
 apart for these purposes ; upon this point the opi- 
 nions of mankind would have been widely differ- 
 ent; opposite and interfering practices would 
 have been observed ; and, consequently, the ob- 
 servation of a day of religious rest prevented or 
 defeated. Revelation, therefore, interposes, and 
 tells mankind, that it is the will of the Supreme 
 Legislator, that one day in seven be consecrated
 
 206 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 to him ; it tells us, moreover, that this was an 
 original law given to man upon his creation. 
 Vid. Gen. ii. S. Of such a law, many tradition- 
 ary evidences are preserved in heathen writers, 
 as well as in the positive testimony of Scripture 
 history. 
 
 It is an egregious mistake, therefore, to date 
 this institution from the promulgation of the Mo- 
 saic economy. The fourth commandment con- 
 tained nothing more than a republication and 
 enforcement of the original statute. This is evi- 
 dent from the very enacting words of that law 
 " Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy." 
 It is impossible for men to remember what 
 they have not previously learned. 
 
 When we come down to the Christian dispen- 
 sation, we find that it interferes no farther, with 
 respect to this institution, than to authorize a 
 change upon the day of the week for its obser- 
 vance. In grateful commemoration of our Sa- 
 viour's resurrection, the first, in place of the 
 seventh, became the Christian Sabbath ; and they 
 who seriously reflect upon the importance of 
 that event, will scarcely fail to acknowledge the 
 propriety as well as obligation of the change. 
 Still the spirit and object of the original laws are 
 preserved by the gospel ; for a seventh part of 
 our time is required to be set apart for the ser-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 207 
 
 vice of our Creator, and the duties of religion : 
 But controversy upon this particular point is 
 unnecessary ; for, if men will only allow that a 
 seventh part of our time should be observed as a 
 Sabbath, they will feel but little disposition to 
 quarrel about the particular day of the week to 
 be set apart for that end. 
 
 If it is evident then that the Sabbath is of di- 
 vine institution, where is the clergyman, or any 
 other man, who can produce a warrant for de- 
 voting any part of that day to public sports and 
 recreations ? In the law of God, I find six days 
 allotted to man for the purposes of a present life, 
 whether of health or business ; but the seventh, 
 in terms most pointed and express, set apart for 
 God. To devote any part of that day, therefore, 
 to public diversions, can appear to a serious 
 mind in no other light, than a designed insult 
 upon the Majesty of Heaven. 
 
 By some foreign nations, indeed, the Sabbath 
 is differently computed from what is in this coun- 
 try. Some reckon from mid-day to mid-day, 
 and some from evening to evening. If a seventh 
 part of our time, whatever may be the hour of 
 its commencement, is consecrated as a sacred 
 rest, the object of the divine law is fulfilled. 
 
 In Britain, we reckon from midnight till mid- 
 night : This, therefore, is our Sabbath ; and this,
 
 208 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 if we are to follow, not the dictates of our own 
 inclination or fancy, but the law of our Maker, 
 we must consecrate to his service, from which 
 the purposes of charity and mercy can never be 
 excluded. 
 
 This doctrine will, to some of your fashionable 
 readers, appear harsh and severe ; but it is the 
 doctrine of the word of God, which will not bend 
 in accommodation to our changing opinions. 
 If they are determined, therefore, to make no 
 difference betwixt Sundays and other days, ex- 
 cept in dedicating the former to superior exces- 
 ses of luxury and enjoyment, let them boldly 
 shake off all the restraints of a religious profes- 
 sion declare revelation to be a fiction a fu- 
 ture state a chimera and their own taste and 
 inclination their only standards of propriety in 
 conduct. 
 
 I think it not impossible, however, indepen- 
 dent of all religious considerations, to shew that 
 the decently religious observance of Sunday is 
 neither so bad nor so unpleasant a thing as fa- 
 shionable people are apt to imagine : That many 
 most beneficial consequences result from it: That 
 its neglect has given rise to most unhappy ef- 
 fects upon society ; and that, to this cause in par- 
 ticular, is, in a great measure, to be ascribed the
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 209 
 
 ignorance, dissipation, and profligacy of the pre- 
 sent times. 
 
 Philo-sabbaticus. 
 E. C. 
 
 Doctrina vim promovet insitam, 
 Rectique cultns pectora roborant. 
 
 Utcunque defecere mores 
 
 Dedecorant bene nata culpa;. Hor. 
 
 Sir, March 22, 1784. 
 
 The modesty and humility of the schoolmas- 
 ters' address for a trifling addition of salary should 
 disarm the most selfish and obstinate in opposi- 
 tion to their claim of relief. They say " they 
 never presumed to dictate; but will, with all hu- 
 mility, accept of whatever relief the landed in- 
 terest and their representatives in parliament 
 shall think their distressed situation requires." 
 I am one of those who think the profession of a 
 schoolmaster one of the most important in the 
 state, and that these men, instead of being de- 
 pressed, should be cherished, and their situation 
 made comfortable. The happiness of the indi- 
 vidual and of the state depends on the education 
 of youth. It is owing to these men that the 
 common people in Scotland are more knowing 
 than those perhaps of any other country in Eu- 
 rope. The meanest peasant can read, and ge- 
 
 o
 
 210 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 nerally write, understands the principles of re- 
 ligion, and the foundation of moral conduct. It 
 is owing to education and morals that the Scots 
 have in general risen in every line of life, wher- 
 ever they have gone. 
 
 The present miserable pittance which school- 
 masters have by law is by no means such as to 
 induce men of education to undertake so labo- 
 rious an employment *. There is no profession 
 in which they might not earn more money j - 
 even porters, pimps, and chairmen in this city, 
 are opulent, when compared to most country 
 schoolmasters. 
 
 Shall the person who administers to our fan- 
 tastic indulgences, or to our vicious luxury, be 
 paid with liberality, and he who forms the minds 
 and principles of our children be allowed to 
 starve ? Shall a foreign cook, who has learnt to 
 please my palate with a luxurious dish, be re- 
 warded with munificence ; and shall the man, 
 who forms the mind and morals of my son, be 
 allowed to live on bread and water ? 
 
 What can afford such heartfelt joy to a worthy 
 parent, as to see affectionate children improving 
 in useful knowledge and virtue, and daily grati- 
 
 * The schoolmasters at present have only 51. l6s. Id. per 
 annum, and they petitioned Parliament for 111. 2s. 2d, or 200 
 merks, which was opposed by the landed gentlemen.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 211 
 
 fying their fond solicitude, by a progress towards 
 that good and useful character in life, which is 
 the chief object of their warmest wishes ? And 
 shall the guardians of these interesting hopes be 
 doomed to penury and distress ? Forbid it every 
 sentiment of humanity every generous feeling 
 of the heart ! 
 
 If such narrow policy shall be followed, we 
 must consign the education and morals of our 
 youth to ignorant pretenders ; for no man of 
 virtue, capacity, and education can be expected 
 to starve for the service of the public. 
 
 Besides, it is obvious, that the increase of vice 
 of late in great cities and towns requires that 
 such encouragement should be given as to in- 
 duce teachers of ability and worth to embrace 
 the profession, and to reside in the country, that 
 an opportunity may be afforded of virtuous edu- 
 cation in the first stage of youth, and men may 
 be brought forth to be the supports of a luxuri- 
 ous falling state, instead of the frivolous cox- 
 combs or abandoned voluptuaries of a degene- 
 rate age. 
 
 I wish not to provide such salaries for school- 
 masters as to render them indolent; but chill 
 them not with cold parsimony give them a 
 comfortable subsistence, and they will be grate- 
 ful. I highly respect the character of a school-
 
 212 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 master, when I find him a man of good sense 
 and good morals ; and I think him more deserv- 
 ing of my regard, than a titled fool, or an opulent 
 knave. 
 
 E. C. Cato. 
 
 The fame of Mrs Siddons as an actress occa- 
 sioned some gentlemen to raise a sum by sub- 
 scription to induce her to come to Edinburgh, 
 after her engagement at London, in spring 
 1784. 
 
 Mrs Siddons's first visit to Edinburgh was 
 accordingly in May 1784. 
 
 The gentlemen subscribers, who had been the 
 occasion of her coming, thought themselves en- 
 titled to be secured in seats in the pit the even- 
 ings she performed. This was thought very 
 reasonable, and they were admitted a quarter of 
 an hour before the doors opened. But the vast 
 crowds that attended, eager for admission, creat- 
 ing much inconvenience and disturbance ; a part 
 of the pit was railed off for the subscribers, after 
 the three first appearances of Mrs Siddons. 
 The anxiety to see this celebrated actress was so 
 great, that crowds were often at the doors from
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 215 
 
 eleven o'clock forenoon till five in the afternoon I 
 This rage for seeing Mrs Siddons was so great, 
 that there were 2557 applications for 650 places. 
 The weather being warm, and the house ex- 
 cessively crowded, gave occasion for the servants 
 of the theatre introducing a variety of liquors 
 into the pit and galleries. Very circumstantial 
 accounts of Mrs Siddons's acting, and criticisms 
 on the plays, were given to the public in the 
 newspapers on each performance. 
 
 The following humorous lines appeared after 
 her fifth appearance : 
 
 EPISTLE 
 
 ; 
 
 FROM MISS MARIA BELINDA B GLE, AT EDINBURGH, TO' 
 HER FRIEND MISS LAVINIA L TCH, AT GLASGOW. 
 
 I hear, with deep sorrow, my beautiful L tch, 
 In vain to come here you your father beseech ; 
 I say in all places, and say it most truly, 
 His heart is as hard as the heart of Priuli ; 
 'Tis compos'd of black flint, or of Aberdeen granite, 
 But smother your rage 'twould be folly to fan it. 
 
 Each evening the playhouse exhibits a mob, 
 And the right of admission's turn'd into a job. 
 By five the whole pit us'd to fill with subscribers, 
 And those who had money enough to be bribers ; 
 But the public took fire, and began a loud jar, 
 And I thought we'd have bad a Siddonian war i
 
 214 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 The committees met, and the lawyers hot mettle 
 
 Began very soon both to cool and to settle j 
 
 Of public resentment to blunt the keen edge, 
 
 In a coop they consented that sixty they'd wedge ; 
 
 And the coop's now so cramm'd, it will scarce hold a 
 
 mouse, 
 And the rest of the pit's turn'd a true public house. 
 With porter and pathos, with whisky and whining, 
 They quickly all look as if long they'd been dining, 
 Their shrub and their sighs court our noses and ears, 
 And their twopenny blends in libation with tears ; 
 The god of good liquor with fervour they woo, 
 And before the fifth act they are a' greeting fou j 
 And still, as a maxim, they keep in their eye 
 This excellent adage, " that sorrow is dry :" 
 Tho' my muse to write satire's reluctant and loth, 
 This custom, I think, savours strong of the Goth. 
 
 As for Siddons herself, her features so tragic, 
 Have caught the whole town with the force of their 
 
 magic ; 
 Her action is varied, her voice is extensive, 
 Her eye very fine, but somewhat too pensive. 
 In the terrible trials of Beverley's wife, 
 She rose not above the dull level of life, 
 She was greatly too simple to strike very deep, 
 And 1 thought more than once to have fallen asleep. 
 Her sorrows in Shore, were so soft and so still, 
 That my heart lay as snug as a thief in a mill : 
 I never as yet have been much overcome, 
 With distress that's so gentle, with grief that's so dumb: 
 And, to tell the plain truth, I have not seen any 
 Thing yet, like the tumble of Yate* in Mandane :
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 215 
 
 For acting should certainly rise above nature, 
 
 And indeed now and then she's a wonderful creature 
 
 When Zara's revenge burst in storms from her tongue, 
 
 With rage and reproach all the ample roof rung : 
 
 Isabella too rose all superior to sadness, 
 
 And our hearts were well harrow'd with horror and 
 
 madness. 
 From all sides the house, hark the cry how it swells ! 
 While the boxes are torn with most heart piercing yells j 
 The Misses all faint, it becomes them so vastly, 
 And their cheeks are so red that they never look ghastly, 
 Even Ladies advanced to their grand climacterics 
 Are often led out in a fit of hysterics ; 
 The screams are wide-wafted East, West, South, and 
 
 North, 
 Loud Echo prolongs them on both sides the Forth. 
 You ask me what beauties most touchingly strike 
 They are beauteous all, and all beauteous alike, 
 With lovely complexions that time ne'er can tarnish, 
 So thick they're laid o'er with a delicate varnish, 
 Their bosoms and necks have a gloss and a burnish, 
 And their cheeks with fresh roses from Raeburn they 
 furnish. 
 
 I quickly return, and am just on the wing, 
 And some things I'm sure that you'll like I will bring, 
 The sweet Siddons' cap, the latest dearogle 
 Farewell till we meet 
 
 Your true friend, 
 
 Mary B l . 
 
 Edinburgh, June 7. 1784. 
 E. C.
 
 216 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 -ridentem dicere verum 
 
 Quid ve tat? Hos. 
 
 Sir, August 13. 1785. 
 
 Our summer scene of amusement and gaiety- 
 being now ended, by the last night of Mrs Sid- 
 dons's appearance, 1 think you should inform 
 your country readers what have been the pre- 
 vailing fashions this season. This is a most in- 
 teresting subject of inquiry, for the manners and 
 fashions of the capital are most eagerly followed 
 in the country. 
 
 You should tell your female country readers 
 that the balloon hat and the Werter bonnet have 
 given way to the gypsey ; and the Robin Gray 
 is fast following. 
 
 Fashion has long held good sense and pro- 
 priety in thraldom, but her triumph has never 
 perhaps been so striking as of late. A little 
 squat dumpling figure, under a gypsey hat, like 
 Tom Thumb under a bee-hive, is the most ludi- 
 crous thing that modern fashion has exhibited. 
 Even the tall and taper damsel looks like the 
 pole of her umbrella, when she is rigged out in 
 a flounced gypsey, and then the ventilation of 
 our streets and lanes affords so charming an op- 
 portunity of tossing the head about, to keep this
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 217 
 
 ]!>iece of dress, which is called an ornament, in 
 management. 
 
 Fashion has often been at variance with na- 
 ture and simplicity, but now she is at perfect 
 open war with them, and has lately introduced 
 an appendage of dress, which common sense 
 may deem rather unsuitable to buxom beauties ; 
 yet they too will be monsters, if it is the fashion. 
 - We have long had perfumers who furnish 
 complexions, and red cheeks and pale lips are 
 not uncommon. The lily varnish for the ma- 
 hogany skin may be had at many cosmetic 
 warehouses ; but we have now, for the first 
 time, got bottom-shops, and ladies of all ages and 
 dimensions, tall, short, fat, and lean, must have 
 enormous b ' s. Spinal tenuity and mamillary 
 exuberance (see Johnson's Dictionary,) have for 
 some time been the fashion with the fair, but a 
 posterior rotundity, or a balance, was wanting 
 behind ; and you may now tell the country 
 lasses, if they wish to be fashionable, they must 
 resemble two blown bladders, tied together at 
 the necks. 
 
 Says Lady Winterbottom t'other day to Mr 
 Tiffaney, the haberdasher Mr TifTaney I want 
 a new bottom. Very well, Ma'am happy to 
 
 supply your Ladyship proud to say my b s 
 
 have been much approved of, and given satisfac-
 
 218 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 tion. Not so fast, Mr Tiffaney the last I had 
 is worn out already. Why, Ma'am, you very 
 well know that no lady of fashion has been at 
 rest five minutes in a place for sometime past 
 What with races morning and evening con- 
 certs dinner parties squeezing and mobbing 
 to get into the playhouse- fits, and fainting soon 
 after tossing and tumbling to get out again 
 then assemblies, or fireworks, with the delicate 
 assistance of a young fellow's arm late suppers, 
 and all that sort of thing why really, Ma'am, 
 the best bottoms cannot support such tear and 
 wear any length of time Your Ladyship looks 
 thinner since last furnishing Here now is a 
 b m, Ma'am Your Ladyship's back, if you 
 please ay, this gets well up behind^-quite 
 Ladyship's size. Rather flat, Mr Tiffaney 
 Plump as can be, your Ladyship But I must 
 have my old bottom repaired, Mr Tiffaney 
 We'll do the best we can, my Lady Your Lady- 
 ship must allow that the artificial b m is the 
 most fundamental improvement of modern times. 
 There was but t'other day, Miss Plausible, ac- 
 companied by her friend Miss Crop, bought a 
 b m here, and being to cross the water, the 
 poor soul slipt her foot in stepping into the boat, 
 and went souce into the sea the tide going 
 
 three knots an hour but, my Lady, she sat as 
 
 1
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 219 
 
 snug and composed on the face of the water, as 
 Queen Mab on the Gossamer. With her bosom 
 frame, gauzes, and flounces, she looked, by all 
 the world, like a swan on a cruize in a pond. 
 Your Ladyship means to go north soon, diver- 
 sions now over, presume ? Wish your Ladyship 
 good weather to cross the ferries. Thank you, 
 Mr Tiffaney You may as well send two b ms. 
 Your Ladyship's right it is best to be provid- 
 ed, in case of accident Ladyship's most humble 
 servant. 
 
 You may also inform your country readers 
 that the male dress has undergone some change, 
 though in general puppyism has remained in 
 statu quo for these some months. 
 
 Some few distinguished spirits have endeavour- 
 ed to new-model the beard, by making it half 
 Jewish, half Christian, and have thought it an 
 ornament to come into company with a tuft of 
 hair like a whin-bush on each cheek. But 
 this savage fashion has not been much follow- 
 ed. 
 
 Roses, or tufts of black ribbons or strings, tying 
 the shoes, instead of buckles, have also appeared 
 as a morning dress j and by and by the country 
 labourers in this particular will be in high fa- 
 shion all the day through. 
 
 Long necked spurs, with joints like folding
 
 220 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 penknives, to make them convenient in walking, 
 and to prevent cutting the legs (no matter for 
 the horse's sides,) are coming into fashion ; but 
 sensible people think the shortest necked long 
 enough for the purpose of a spur. 
 
 Several people, besides barbers and bakers, 
 have worn white hats this season. 
 
 Promiscuous bathing has been very much in 
 fashion this season, and the decency of an awn- 
 ing to the bathing machines, so universal in 
 England, is not yet adopted ; * to the great sa- 
 tisfaction of the rude and the ill-bred, who 
 triumph in insulting modesty. 
 
 The buckskin and nankeen under drapery of 
 the young gentlemen still continues as if sewed 
 or pasted to the skin. 
 
 The first symptoms of a rising buck this season 
 have commenced at and after school, by turning 
 the broad cock of the hat foremost, and the but- 
 ton behind assuming a knowing look, with a 
 gait like Filch in the Beggar's Opera carrying 
 a short bludgeon in the hand, and endeavouring 
 to swear (poor things!) most dreadfully. 
 
 * Since the above was written, an improvement has taken 
 place. Separate houses for the gentlemen and ladies are built, 
 and the bathing machines for the ladies are furnished with 
 awnings.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 221 
 
 The having half-a-dozen large buttons under 
 the pocket lids, might do very well for security 
 in these pick-pocket times, but unfortunately, it 
 is not the fashion to have button holes. 
 
 The rumpled boot about the ancle, to give air 
 to the calf in the white silk stocking, has still 
 been thought tonish by a few ; and 
 
 Boots in the forenoon, with persons who have 
 no horses to ride, is thought very fashionable. 
 
 With many it has been thought manly and 
 high life to be as much the blackguard as pos- 
 sible ; and with them frivolity and dissipation 
 are only worth living for. To squander money 
 with freedom, and go drunk to public amuse- 
 
 
 
 ments, constitute the gentleman. 
 
 Such is the picture of this last season. You 
 may make what use of it you please. 
 I am, &c. 
 
 E. C. Bastinado. 
 
 i 
 
 STANZAS 
 
 ADDRESSED TO DR BEATTIE, 
 
 AUTHOR OF THE MINSTREL. 
 
 Ah ! wherefore silent is thine Edwin's muse ? 
 The muse which erst inspir'd his infant thought,
 
 222 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Which shew'd him Nature in its various views, 
 And in his breast sublime conceptions wrought j 
 Which his young genius to perfection brought, 
 And rais'd to heaven his heaven-aspiring soul ; 
 Gave him to know what he so keenly sought, 
 How stars and planets in their orbits roll, 
 Obedient still to him whose power oropels the whole. 
 
 Time's lenient hand hath pour'd his sov'reign balm, 
 And sooth'd the anguish of thine wounded heart ; 
 Restor'd thy bosom to its wonted calm, 
 And gently eas'd it of affliction's dart : 
 Oh ! may it never more a pang impart, 
 To interrupt the progress of the song, 
 Where nature shines, array'd with justest art, 
 Moving with grace majestical along, 
 In numbers sweetly smooth, with sense sublimely strong. 
 
 Forgive the friend, who, in unpolish'd strains, 
 Would fondly rouse thee to resume the lyre, 
 And sing of Edwin, boast of Scottish swains, 
 With all thy wonted energy and fire. 
 From graver studies for a while respire, 
 Through cheerful Fancy's flow'ry fields to stray ; 
 Clad in the Minstrel's favourite attire, 
 His modest worth, his dignity display, 
 Amending thoughtless man by thy instructive lay. 
 
 Sept. 24. 1784.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 223 
 
 VERSES 
 
 TO THE AUTHOR OF THE MAN OF FEELING. 
 
 Found on a blank leaf of the copy of the book which belonged 
 to the late Mr Grainger. 
 
 Whilst other writers, with pernicious art, 
 
 Corrupt the morals, and seduce the heart, 
 
 Raise lawless passions, loose desires infuse, 
 
 And boast their knowledge gather'd from the stews, 
 
 Be thine the task such wishes to controul, 
 
 To touch the gentler movements of the soul ; 
 
 To bid the breast with gen'rous ardours glow, 
 
 To teach the tear of sympathy to flow : 
 
 We hope, we fear, we swell with virtuous rage, 
 
 As various passions animate thy page. 
 
 What sentiments the soul of Harley move ! 
 
 The softest pity, and the purest love ! 
 
 Congenial virtues dwell in Walton's mind, 
 
 Form'd her mild graces, and her taste refin'd ; 
 
 Their flame was such as Heaven itself inspires, 
 
 As high, as secret, as the vestal fires. 
 
 But ah ! too late reveal'd With parting breath, 
 
 He owns its mighty force, and smiles in death 
 
 His soul spontaneous seeks her kindred sky, 
 
 Where charity and love can never die. 
 
 E. C.
 
 224 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 A RECEIPT FOR HAPPINESS. 
 
 Traverse the world, and fly from pole to pole ! 
 Go far as winds can blow, or waters roll ! 
 Lo ! all is vanity beneath this sun, 
 To silent death through heedless paths we run. 
 
 See the pale miser poring o'er his gold ! 
 See the false patriot who his country sold ! 
 Ambition's vot'ry groans beneath the weight, 
 A splendid victim to the toils of state. 
 
 Ev'n in the mantling bowl sweet poisons flow ; 
 And Love's pursuits oft terminate in woe ; 
 Proud Learning ends her great career in doubt, 
 And, puzzled still, makes nothing clearly out. 
 
 Where then is earthly bliss ? Where does it grow ? 
 Know, mortal, happiness dwells not below ! 
 Look up to Heaven ! be heaven thy darling care; 
 Spurn the vile earth, and seek thy treasure there j 
 Nothing but God, and God alone you'll find, 
 Can fill a boundless, and immortal mind ! 
 
 i 
 
 e. q.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 225 
 
 LINES 
 
 WRITTEN ON A WINDOW AT AN INN UNDER SOME 
 INFAMOUS VERSES. 
 
 When Dryden's clown, unknowing what he sought, 
 His hours in whistling spent, for want of thought, 
 The guiltless fool his vacancy of sense 
 Supplied, and amply too, by innocence. 
 Did modern swains, possess'd of Cymon's pow'rs, 
 In Cymon's manner waste their weary hours, 
 Th' indignant trav'ller would not blushing see 
 This crystal pane disgrac'd by infamy ! 
 
 Severe the fate of modern fools, alas ! 
 When vice and folly mark them as they pass : 
 Like pois'nous vermin, o'er the whiten'd wall, 
 The filth they leave still points out where they crawl ! 
 E. C. 
 
 TO MR' ,ON RECEIVING A BLANK LETTER FROM 
 
 HIM ON THE FIRST OF APRIL. 
 
 I pardon, Sir, the trick you've play'd me, 
 When an April fool you made me ; 
 Since one day only I appear 
 What you, alas ! do all the year. 
 
 E. C. Lorenzo, 
 
 p
 
 226 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ABRIDGEMENT OF A SERMON, 
 
 Which took up an hour in delivering, from these 
 words : " Man is born to trouble. " 
 
 My Friends, 
 The subject falls naturally to be divided into 
 three heads : 
 
 1. Man's entrance into the world. 
 
 2. His progress through the world. 
 
 3. His exit from the world; and, 
 
 4. Practical reflections from what may be said. 
 First then, man came into the world naked 
 
 and bare. 
 
 2. His progress through it, is trouble and care. 
 
 3. His exit from it is none can tell where. 
 
 4. But if he does well here he'll be well 
 there. 
 
 Now I can say no more, my brethren dear, 
 Should I preach on the subject from this time 
 till next year. 
 
 E. C. Amen. 
 
 
 GENTEEL ECONOMY. 
 
 A certain lady, whose taste is equal to her 
 economy, was under the necessity of asking a
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 friend to dinner ; the following is a bill of fare, 
 and the expence of each dish, which was found 
 
 on the carpet. 
 
 s. d. 
 
 At top, two herrings, - 1 
 
 Middle, one ounce and a half of butter melted, Of 
 
 Bottom, three mutton-chops, cut thin, - 2 
 
 One side, one pound of small potatoes, - 0| 
 
 On the other side, pickled cabbage, - 0| 
 
 Fish removed, two larks, plenty of crumbs, - 1^ 
 
 Mutton removed, French roll boiled for pudding, Of 
 
 Parsley for garnish, - - - * 
 
 7 
 The dinner was served up on china, looked 
 light, tasty, and pretty the table small, and the 
 dishes well proportioned. 
 
 We hope each new married lady will keep 
 this as a lesson ; it is worth knowing how to 
 serve up seven dishes, consisting of a dish of 
 fish, joint of mutton, couple of fowls, pudding, 
 vegetables, and sauce, for sevenpence. 
 E. C. 
 
 Sir, 
 You have informed us that a Reverend clergy- 
 man has lately received an appointment in 
 America. Pray, Sir, is this the same person 
 whose letter addressed to Dr Wotherspoon I
 
 1228 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 lately read ? If it is, I congratulate Scotland on 
 his departure, and I shall pity America on his 
 arrival. Is this the man who encourages our 
 youth to emigration, and advises the Rev. Dr 
 Wotherspoon to banish the poor Loyalists, 
 " these vipers in your bosom," as he calls them, 
 and says, make " them the first exports of your 
 trade !" Good God ! what can equal the bar- 
 barity of such a sentiment ! Shall these unhappy 
 sufferers in the unsuccessful cause of the rights 
 of their mother-country in the defence of the 
 principles of equity, and of that just, mild, and 
 equal government, which extended to every 
 branch of the empire, protection, law, and li- 
 berty, be devoted to exile and slavery ! Forbid 
 it Heaven ! Forbid it every principle of hu- 
 manity ! Is it thus he would bind up the broken- 
 hearted, and comfort them that have no friend ? 
 Ts this the language of the mild precepts of the 
 gospel, whose doctrines he professes to teach, or of 
 the meek and humble Jesus, the Saviour of man- 
 kind, who said to his servants, " Love your ene- 
 mies Do good to them that hate you Blessed 
 are the peace-makers, for they shall be called 
 the children of God." Does the Christian re- 
 ligion breathe the spirit of rancour, malice, and 
 revenge ? If it does, then is this man a teacher 
 of the Gospel.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 229 
 
 Ye poor unhappy Loyalists, have ye not suf- 
 fered enough ? Is the measure of your misfortunes 
 not yet full ? And must the last bitter dregs be 
 poured into the cup of your sufferings by the 
 hand of a Christian divine ? Where will you 
 find a good Samaritan ? for, alas ! this Levite, not 
 like his brother of old, content to turn aside an 
 indifferent head, points a sword to rip up your 
 yet unclosed wounds. Bereaved of property, 
 and of every comfort in life, for your steady 
 attachment to your duty, your king, and your 
 country, you must yet suffer greater ills ! 
 Banished from your friends and connections 
 with bleeding hearts and mangled limbs, you 
 must be sent to tread the barren wild, or seek 
 the inhospitable shore, without prospect of 
 peace, till you shall reach that haven where the 
 weary are at rest ! This is the doom assigned 
 you by one who should speak the language of 
 peace ; but, it would seem, the gall of asps is 
 within him. Follow not his example; but 
 " pray for them that persecute and despitefully 
 use you." Remember the words of the poet 
 
 " Should fate command me to the farthest verge, 
 Of the green earth to distant barbarous climes- 
 Rivers unknown to song ; where first the sun 
 Gilds Indian mountains, or his setting beam 
 Flames on the Atlantic isles ; 'tis nought to me,
 
 230 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Since God is ever present ever felt 
 
 In the void waste as in the city full ; 
 
 And where He vital breathes there must be joy.'' 
 
 May the consolations of Heaven support you, 
 and mitigate your sorrows ! Many a heart feels 
 for your unhappy situation, and commiserates 
 your distress ; for we are not all so flinty as this 
 Reverend Doctor. May your new visitor's ap- 
 pointment be in the remote settlements, where 
 the fierce Indians will teach him a lesson of 
 humanity. 
 
 A Friend to the Unfortunate. 
 
 E. C. 
 
 Sir, 
 Amidst the general discontent at the taxes, 
 you seem uninformed of the most serious of any 
 yet announced. It is said, with confidence, that 
 a general combination is forming among the 
 Bachelors of the two kingdoms to petition Par- 
 liament for a repeal of their tax. Circular let- 
 ters will soon be issued, calling meetings over 
 the whole island. It is meantto represent, that it is 
 partial, unjust, and oppressive, to tax bachelors, 
 unless Government had furnished them with a 
 list of such females as are entitled to be honour-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 231 
 
 ably addressed ; for, if their characters are as 
 much disguised as their bodies, by the present 
 fashionable dresses, those are most fortunate who 
 have the least connection with them. 
 
 The prayer of the petition, it is said, is to be, 
 " That a list be forthwith made out of all the 
 worthy virgin spinsters within the several pa- 
 rishes ; and of the widows of honourable cha- 
 racter, under a certain age, in a separate column : 
 That attention may be paid to exclude from said 
 list all known and professed courtezans ; and, 
 still more, those of a much worse character, 
 who, with apparent virtue, are slily vicious, and 
 to criminality add deceit ! That all scolds 
 vixens profuse squanderers gadabouts slat- 
 terns gamblers and such as are fond of cor- 
 dials, be arranged under proper heads." 
 
 If this is granted, it is said, the bachelors will 
 voluntarily offer to arrange their corps also under 
 different heads, as those of acknowledged merit 
 fortune idlers drunkards fops fribbles 
 gamesters blackguards, and such as quietly 
 live the life of beasts. 
 
 It is thought this petition will occasion a very 
 warm and long debate. Government will support 
 the tax ; and the Premier's being a bachelor, 
 will strike the majority of the House with the 
 sense, that it was public-spirited and disinterested
 
 232 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 in the Minister to bring it forward. The next 
 speaker, on the same side, will probably say, 
 That the reasons set forth in the petition are al- 
 together nugatory ; that he is free to say, that 
 there is a reciprocity in the matter that must 
 strike every one, and deserves the attention of 
 the House : That, for his part, if women are so 
 vicious that men will not marry, it is wise in 
 Government to make private vice a public bene- 
 fit. The exigencies of Government must be 
 supplied; and, for his part, he scouted the mo- 
 tion. A member of the Opposition Bench will 
 probably rise. He is astonished to hear such 
 bold assertion, without the shadow of argument 
 The petitioners are an aggrieved set of people 
 They are a numerous, a wealthy, a respectable 
 body ; and, whether he had any connection or 
 not with such an honourable class of men, he 
 would unawed candidly speak his mind upon 
 the subject. He thought the petitioners were 
 well-founded in their opposition to the tax 
 The sex he knew too well ! fa loud laugh) 
 Were men breathing the spirit of liberty con- 
 scious of their noble independence, to be taxed 
 into slavery the worst the most debasing sla- 
 very forced by the minister of the day into the 
 insupportable chains of matrimony. Delicacy 
 forbids him to use strong language. What
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 233 
 
 heart that felt as a man would not repel such 
 proceeding ? But an Honourable Gentleman on 
 the opposite side of the House had said, If 
 things are so, why should not Government make 
 private vice a public benefit ? Who that hears 
 this does not smile with contempt : I will not 
 enlarge on it: His Majesty's Ministers should, 
 therefore, increase the vice, that all men, for the 
 public benefit, may remain bachelors. He 
 heartily wished the petition success, and hoped 
 every unbiassed member would give it his sup- 
 port. 
 
 After this, probably, a desultory conversation 
 will take place. Some new members asking 
 questions for information some personalities, 
 no way connected with the subject of debate, 
 and then explanations being made, the tax, 
 without a division, will remain as it did. 
 I am, &c. 
 E. C. Speculator. 
 
 Sir, Edin. Nov. c 27. 1784. 
 
 After a residence of many years abroad, I 
 am now returned to my native country, with a 
 decent competency, and intend to settle as a
 
 234 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECEi. 
 
 domestic man, if I can find a woman to my 
 liking. I have often heard matrimonial adver- 
 tisements ridiculed ; but I know two of the 
 happiest matches, perhaps, in the island, which 
 were formed by a letter in the newspapers ; and 
 I therefore take the liberty of writing you on 
 this subject. To me the society here is now 
 quite different from what it was my old con- 
 nections are gone a new race appears, to whom 
 I am a stranger ; and, let me tell you, female 
 manners, from the little I have seen, are very 
 different from what I left them ; and it is a long 
 time before one can find out characters. Upon 
 these accounts, allow me to convey a few lines 
 through the channel of your paper, respecting 
 what I am, and what the woman must be that I 
 would wish to marry. 
 
 I received a strictly virtuous and exemplary 
 education ; thanks to my worthy parents, now 
 in Heaven. I went from the university at nine- 
 teen, and have returned at thirty-six, in good 
 health and spirits. I was turned out on the 
 world with a good education, good principles, 
 and a hundred pounds in my pocket. I am 
 come back, I hope, with improvement, and can 
 afford to spend L. 600 a-year. 
 
 I was educated a Presbyterian, but am no 
 bigot; for, where the principles are good, and
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 235 
 
 the heart is sincere, external form, in my opi- 
 nion, is of little consequence. My religion is 
 that of the New Testament, fairly interpreted. 
 
 My education, before I launched into the 
 world, gave me a taste for reading and inquiry, 
 which kept me out of many a scene of extrava- 
 gance, folly, and dissipation. This taste I still 
 retain ; and I prefer the company of humble 
 worth to that of splendid vice of rational do- 
 mestic comfort to showy insignificance. 
 
 My stature is about the middle size, being 
 about five feet eight inches, and not too corpu- 
 lent, in my own opinion. My complexion 
 rather dark, from long residence in a warm 
 climate, but which a winter in Scotland may 
 perhaps bleach a little. My friends are kind 
 enough to say I am good-natured and cheerful, 
 and they have always courted my company. 
 
 Now let me mention what kind of woman I 
 would wish to wed. I care not for fortune, 
 provided she can accommodate herself to my 
 income ; but, if with fortune, she possesses the 
 other requisites that follow, so much the better. 
 I would have her the daughter of a virtuous, 
 attentive, sensible mother ; for I hold mothers to 
 be the best or worst members of society, accord- 
 ing as they do their duty. One virtuously and 
 religiously educated ; for women cannot have
 
 236 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 too much religion, if it is accompanied with 
 good sense. I would wish her to be so well 
 informed as to make a conversible companion ; 
 but she must not have been an indiscriminate 
 reader, especially at circulating libraries, as I 
 would not have her mind either corrupted or 
 giddy with extravagant views of life. I would 
 have her accustomed to simple, chaste, and ele- 
 gant manners; not possessing the half-breeding 
 of vulgar opulence, nor used to the free manners 
 of dissipated high life. I would rather look for 
 her in the bosom of retirement, than in the 
 haunts of dissipation, gaiety, and folly. I would 
 wish her to possess rather a mild and gentle 
 temper than a quick and very lively disposition ; 
 as this last, if it has not been duly attended to, 
 generally degenerates into flippancy and pert- 
 ness. I would wish her to be amiable, not 
 witty ; all her actions indicating a well-turned 
 and delicate mind, with kind affections. 
 
 With regard to her appearance, 1 would rather 
 have it what is called agreeable than beautiful ; 
 her stature not too tall ; her age from twenty to 
 thirty. 
 
 If any of your correspondents can aid me to 
 such a person, or inform how I can get ac- 
 quainted, I shall be infinitely obliged to them. 
 Their letters shall be thankfully received, duly
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 237 
 
 answered, and their correspondence treated with 
 the strictest honour and secrecy. Let me take 
 the liberty of desiring them to be put under 
 cover to you, with a direction to 
 
 E. C. Asiaticus. 
 
 [It would appear that several letters had been 
 received in answer to the above, from the 
 following being soon after printed.] 
 
 Sir, Edin. Dec. 11. 
 
 I am much obliged to you for the insertion of 
 my letter of Nov. 27, and for the punctuality in 
 transmitting your communications, many of 
 which were elegant and satisfactory. By your 
 means I have been introduced to the correspond- 
 ence of Laura, whose character, manners, and 
 accomplishments, lead me to the most flattering 
 prospects of happiness. 
 
 She fully answers the description I gave of 
 the woman to be wished for as the companion 
 for life ; and I am happy to say, from the in- 
 telligence I have received, that there are many 
 such left. 
 
 By being so long a stranger to my native
 
 238 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 country, T was led to a mode of application, 
 which would perhaps be reckoned uncommon, 
 but I hope it was by none deemed indelicate. 
 I gave assurance of the strictest honour, which 
 shall be inviolably preserved. Were such a me- 
 thod more frequently practised, it might be the 
 means of bringing many worthy characters to- 
 gether, whose minds are fitted for each other, 
 but whom accident or unacquaintance keep 
 asunder. I have several acquaintances, richer 
 and more deserving than myself, but similar in 
 other respects, whom I shall advise to follow my 
 example. May it be their lot, by discriminating 
 characters, to escape the worthless, and gain the 
 amiable ! 
 
 E. C. Asiaticus. 
 
 Sin, 
 The account in a late paper of a young 
 woman having taken poison, or died in conse- 
 quence of a disappointment in marriage, is truly 
 affecting and melancholy, and affords a very in- 
 structive lesson to the female sex. You have 
 informed us (and I know it to be a fact,) that 
 the young pair went to be married, but having 
 neglected to procure the necessary certificate,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 239 
 
 the clergyman, very properly, refused to perform 
 the ceremony. The young couple, however, 
 resolving to be man and wife from that time, 
 went together, and agreed to adjust matters of 
 form the next day ; but when the day appeared, 
 the man refused to fulfil the engagement. 
 
 This transaction is worthy of some reflections, 
 which, perhaps, may be useful to society. 
 
 It may be asked, what is the feeling of every 
 honest and virtuous mind, on reading the above 
 narrative ? It will probably be, that of pity and 
 compassion for the unfortunate young woman ; 
 particularly so, as the event strongly proves that 
 she must, before this incident, have been virtu- 
 ous and deserving. Had she been of a loose or 
 worthless character such sensibility to shame 
 such attachment such anguish of mind, would 
 not have appeared. 
 
 While we feel pity for her, we also feel indig- 
 nation against the man who occasioned her un- 
 timely end. No man of honesty and sensibility 
 of heart would have acted so dishonourable a 
 part, or led a virtuous young woman into such a 
 situation. True love, which must be founded 
 on esteem, is distant, bashful, respectful, and in- 
 capable of injuring the object of attachment. 
 Libertinism is deceitful, brutal, impudent, and 
 will assume any disguise to betray, and will
 
 240 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 afterwards triumph and reproach. Of this last 
 description, it would seem, had been the atten- 
 tion of the man to this poor unfortunate young 
 woman : But there are many (and of her own 
 sex too) who will condemn the girl only ; and 
 say she had herself to blame ! How cautious 
 and guarded ought women to be respecting their 
 conduct ! It is said, " That the woman who 
 deliberates is lost." If she even hesitate a mo- 
 ment respecting the line of her duty, it may be 
 expected she will fall into dishonour, contempt, 
 and ruin. From the moment a woman permits 
 familiarity, although not criminal, she sinks into 
 the estimation of the man to whom she allows 
 the freedom, besides putting it in his power to 
 expose her to others ; and in the calm hour of 
 reflection she is despised for the liberty she had 
 granted. He spurns at every idea of honourable 
 connection with such a person ; for she who will 
 permit unbecoming freedom before marriage, it 
 is reasonable to suppose, will not be very cir- 
 cumspect after it ; and in no situation is the 
 mind of man so much* awake to sensibility and 
 delicacy, as respecting the character and con- 
 duct of the woman he wishes to marry. 
 
 If a woman has ever gone beyond the bounds 
 of delicacy and virtue, she never can expect to 
 gain a husband, but by appearing what she
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 241 
 
 really is not. She then must assume an artificial 
 manner become a hypocrite a liar and a 
 cheat ; for she is conscious that no man worth 
 the gaining would have taken her, if he had 
 known circumstances. Her character is dis- 
 guised and despicable ; and when discovered by 
 the husband, which, if he is a man even of very 
 ordinary sense and observation, he soon will do 
 (for an artificial manner cannot always be kept 
 up) then farewell every prospect of domestic 
 tranquillity and comfort ! The home which 
 should have been to him a temple of peace, be- 
 comes the abode of torment The affection of 
 her who should have soothed his cares is lost or 
 despised, and misery and anguish drag to both a 
 lengthening chain to the close of life ! Learn 
 then, ye fair, the high importance, to yourselves 
 and to society, of modesty, circumspection, and 
 delicacy in your deportment. It is melancholy 
 to think what a number of naturally fine young 
 creatures have banished themselves for ever from 
 every prospect of domestic comfort, and render- 
 ed themselves outcasts of society by imprudence, 
 bad companions, and inattention. 
 
 How careful ought parents to be, to store the 
 minds of their children with proper principles, 
 and to confirm them by good example. At no 
 time was such advice so requisite as at present, 
 
 Q
 
 242 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 when so many of the young are familiar with 
 vice so early, and the basest means are used to 
 corrupt the rising generation. 
 
 I shall conclude with quoting the lines of a 
 poet who knew the human character the 
 springs of action and the best interests of man- 
 kind in a very eminent degree. May they be 
 indelibly fixed in every female breast. 
 
 Life swarms with ills ; the boldest are afraid ; 
 Where then is safety for a tender maid ? 
 Unfit for conflict round beset with woes 
 And man, whom least she fears her worst of foes ! 
 When kind most cruel ; when oblig'd the most, 
 The least obliging ; and by favours lost. 
 Cruel by Nature, they for kindness hate ; 
 And scorn you, for those ills themselves create. 
 If, on your fame, our sex a blot has thrown, 
 'Twill ever stick, through malice of your own. 
 Most hard ! In pleasing your chief glory lies; 
 And yet from pleasing your chief dangers rise : 
 Then please the best ; and know, for men of sense, 
 Your strongest charms are native innocence. 
 In simple manners, all the secret lies- 
 Be kind and virtuous you'll be blest and wise. 
 
 I am, Sir, your's, &c. 
 
 Sept. 25. 1784. 
 
 Henry. 
 
 E. C.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 243 
 
 - 
 
 A Public Masquerade was first attempted in 
 Edinburgh in March 1786, by the following 
 advertisement: 
 
 A MASQUERADE. 
 
 J. Dunn begs to inform the Nobility and 
 Gentry, that there is to be a Masquerade in his 
 rooms on Thursday the 2d of March next. The 
 price of tickets one guinea to gentlemen, and 
 half-a-guinea to ladies. 
 
 N. B. The rooms in the Hotel will be set apart 
 for the different accommodation of the ladies and 
 gentlemen, with proper persons for the purpose 
 of dressing. Refreshments and wines, sweet- 
 meats, &e. &c. in the tea-room. A band of 
 music will attend, and the whole will be con- 
 ducted with the strictest regularity and decorum. 
 No admittance on any account into the gal- 
 lery, nor servants into the lower part of the 
 house. The doors to be opened at six o'clock. 
 
 The Masquerade was to be held on Thursday 
 the 2d of March. On the Saturday imme- 
 diately preceding, the following advertisement
 
 244 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 appeared, and, on the Monday morning, inti- 
 mation was given, that there would be no 
 Masquerade, and the money taken for tickets 
 would be returned, on sending to the Hotel. 
 
 ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY. 
 
 M. Slackjaw begs leave to inform the public, 
 That she is to open a grand Masquerade ware- 
 house, next door to the New Chapel, in Regis- 
 ter Street, and a few doors from Dunn's Rooms. 
 She every hour expects a very fine assortment 
 of mask dresses, from Tavistock-street and the 
 Hay-market, London. Among others, a great 
 variety of fancy dresses for ladies such as, 
 queens of various countries and sizes, sultanas, 
 gypsies, vestal virgins, Columbines, Dutch milk- 
 maids, hay-makers, fortune-tellers, ballad-singers, 
 black and white nuns, nobodies, &c. &c. Also 
 a very becoming dress for a mad maid of Bed- 
 lam, with sparkling chains to sit easy and genteel 
 An elegant mourning habit for Jephtha's 
 daughter A Calista, with a fan, which may be 
 easily seen through A fine flesh coloured suit 
 for Eve, as close as life Also emblematical dres- 
 ses for Fashion, Folly, Night, and Aurora. 
 
 N. B. She had commissioned a Lucretia, but 
 her correspondent says, no such character 
 could be found at present in London.
 
 # 
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 245 
 
 For such ladies as choose more simple disguises, 
 she has provided dominos, jalousies and also 
 the smaller articles of dress, such as prominent 
 bosoms and behinds, from the most enormous to 
 the most moderate ; and cool and airy masks of 
 all kinds. 
 
 Convenient rooms will be ready, adjoining to 
 the shop, for adjusting ceremonies, and settling 
 plans, in case the apartments in the Hotel allot- 
 ted for accommodation should be too much 
 crowded. As the sole relish of this rational and 
 elegant entertainment depends upon secrecy, 
 customers may be assured that effectual means 
 will be taken that no person in one chamber 
 shall know what is going on in the next. 
 
 She has also been solicited by several of her 
 friends to commission gentlemen's masks ; but 
 as fashionable gentlemen at present require little 
 additional disguise in comparison with the ladies, 
 she will not boast of the same variety in this de- 
 partment. Those who have no characters to 
 support (by much the greatest number, no doubt, 
 upon such occasions,) may be supplied with va- 
 rious coloured dominos. She has ordered a few 
 excellent devils' masks, with gilded horns a very 
 good Don Quixote, with a shining Mambrino 
 a young Bacchus, but as the character is so 
 common, particular decorations will be given
 
 246 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Several running-footmen, jockies, harlequins, 
 chimney-sweeps Many good dresses for Sir 
 Johns and Jackie Brutes men-midwives, with 
 circumstantial printed advertisements Calibans, 
 Cupids, and Adonises in abundance A very ele- 
 gant dress for mad Tom, the blanket being 
 worked like a modern shawl, and the crown rilled 
 with goose feathers in place of straw, the pole a 
 Lochaber-axe A very good knave of clubs, and 
 a ninth of diamonds A very fine dancing bear, 
 and orang outang, fitted to represent human na- 
 ture, either in its improved upright state, or in its 
 primitive, upon all fours N. B. with or without 
 tails. With many other original characters too 
 tedious to mention Inquire at the warehouse. 
 A fine group, meant to represent an exciseman 
 tormenting a landholder, a distiller, and a farmer, 
 accompanied with a John Bull laughing. 
 
 It is rumoured, that the Manager has been 
 applied to for dresses ; but ladies and gentlemen 
 are requested to take notice, that they can only 
 be served, in this way, with frippery that has been 
 exposed to public view these twenty years. 
 
 *%* For particular friends, who may happen 
 not to be prepared, she has provided some excel- 
 lent bon mots and repartees, warranted not to be 
 found in the jest-books. She makes a special 
 bargain, however, that (after being spoken) they
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 24? 
 
 shall not be sent to the newspapers, as she fore- 
 sees, from the advancing state of this country, 
 that they may again be wanted, and injury might 
 be done to her trade by publishing them. 
 
 gf* This not to be repeated, as the advantage 
 is clearly on the side of the purchaser, and not 
 of the seller ; and the public ought to think 
 themselves much obliged to the advertiser for 
 this single notice. 
 
 E. C. 
 
 m = 
 
 [The following letters appeared periodically in 
 the Edinburgh Evening Courant.] 
 
 LETTER FIRST. 
 
 Train up a child in the way he should go ; and wheu he is old, he will 
 not depart from it. Solomon. 
 
 Sir, Feb. 18. 1786. 
 
 In compliance with the fashion of essayists, I 
 beg leave to introduce myself to your acquaint- 
 ance by a quotation from an antiquated author, 
 of whom, by the way, I am no admirer ; but my 
 mind is of that assimilating nature, that it can 
 draw nourishment even from poisonous sources.
 
 248 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 You must know, Sir, Hook with a jealous eye to 
 all periodical papers. The newspapers that 
 have been conducted by my secret influence 
 have always been the most successful ; and the 
 magazines which I patronize are the most read. 
 When the Lounger was announced, I confess I 
 was led by the title to hope that it would be a 
 publication suited to my sentiments and opinions. 
 I am sorry, however, to say that my hopes have 
 been disappointed, and that it has hitherto been 
 inimical to my views and wishes respecting men 
 and manners. Opinions, Sir, should vary, like 
 all other things, with the fashion, and not be 
 thrown out to stem the tide of freedom and fa- 
 shionable enjoyments. You have fortunately lived, 
 Sir, to see an ease of manners, and a liberality of 
 sentiment, pervade all ranks of society, which 
 were hitherto unknown in your country. People 
 in Scotland formerly read, thought, and reason- 
 ed too much ; which produced a certain strict- 
 ness of manners, and a cramped attention to de- 
 corum, which provoked me exceedingly. They 
 would then talk of restraints of duty, of moral 
 obligation, and conscience, of decency and pro- 
 priety of conduct, and such like stuff. But now 
 there is a happy thoughtless frivolity and ease of 
 manners introduced, when people may do what 
 they please, and not be the worse thought of by
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 249 
 
 the world ; and this, sir, let me tell you, is true 
 liberality of mind. 
 
 There was formerly a certain stately dignity 
 of character, that was above doing a mean or an 
 immoral action. The lines of duty, and the 
 laws of decorum, were' ascertained and attended 
 to. But all this produced a kind of stiffness of 
 manners, and often prevented people from doing 
 what they had an inclination to, very unsuitable 
 to a pleasure-loving age. v 
 
 There was formerly a certain nothingness of 
 character, which was despised in society, but 
 which now, by a few easy-attained fashionable 
 rules, and the pursuit of fashionable pleasures, 
 is highly raised in the scale of importance. 
 Labour and study to acquire manly principles, 
 useful knowledge ; elegant manners and accom- 
 plishments are now unnecessary. It must be 
 allowed, that it is much easier now to be a gen- 
 tleman than formerly ; and this, of itself, is a 
 very great improvement. A late very elegant 
 friend of mine has shewn, that a person's whole 
 life and conduct ought to be falsehood and de- 
 ceit ; and if to this he can add bowing and 
 flattery, he is a gentleman to all intents and 
 purposes. But, however much a person may 
 deserve the appellation of a liar, it must not be 
 told, without the offence being appeased by
 
 250 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 blood. And I do not dislike this fashion ; it 
 keeps up good manners ; besides, as I am al- 
 ways glad to see my friends, I cannot be dis- 
 pleased if they should come to me before they 
 were expected. 
 
 I have a strong affection for all mankind, 
 and wish to see society conducted upon my 
 plan. I mean to attempt this, Sir, by your 
 means ; and shall open my scheme to you. 
 A wise politician always pays attention to the 
 rising generation, in order to get hold of young 
 minds before inimical prejudices are formed; 
 and thus, in time, he is enabled to bring forward 
 a party that baffles all opposition. The first 
 habits of youth, you will generally find, deter- 
 mine the future character and conduct. I have 
 the most flattering prospect at present from the 
 rising generation of both sexes ; and, as they 
 will soon occupy the places of their predeces- 
 sors, I entertain the most sauguine hopes of soon 
 seeing society here what I have long desired. 
 
 I declare my system of education to be that 
 of the most perfect freedom, and am averse to 
 every kind of restraint. A late ingenious author 
 of your country (who, by the way, troubled 
 himself too much about what he esteemed to be 
 the public good), says, in a little treatise, called 
 The Art of Thinking, * Men commonly owe 
 
 3
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 251 
 
 their good or bad qualities as much to education 
 as to nature." 
 
 In this sentiment, however, he was right; 
 and, as fashionable people, and people of busi- 
 ness, are, nowa-days, too much occupied (the 
 first with their amusements, and the second with 
 their affairs and pleasures), to be troubled with 
 the care and education of their children, I mean 
 to give a short plan to make the matter as easy 
 for them as possible. They cannot doubt of 
 my regard for their offspring, for I take this 
 trouble out of pure love and regard to them. 
 I am, &c. 
 . C. Belzebub. 
 
 LETTER SECOND. 
 
 
 
 Sir, 
 You gave a place to my last, and it is well 
 that you did ; for my resentment might have 
 given you more vexation than a hundred of your 
 own devils. I laid down a text, viz. ft, Train up 
 a child, &c." which 1 mean now to prosecute, 
 for I can preach as well as some of my enemies, 
 the clergy; and, sure I am, my doctrine will be
 
 252 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 found more palatable, and my precepts easier to 
 follow, than theirs. 
 
 I shall first speak of the training of boys. 
 
 As soon as the child comes into the world 
 have a nurse provided (if you possibly can af- 
 ford one), however sound the mother's constitu- 
 tion may be. Let it remain in the house till the 
 great dinner and drink is given on the brat's 
 getting a name, usually called the christening. 
 This will, perhaps, be the happiest day the 
 father will experience upon its account ; and 
 his guests will probably be made so drunk, upon 
 the joyful occasion, that they will curse him and 
 his brat for many days after. This being over, 
 send it off with the nurse. It is not fit that the 
 mother, in her poor weak way, or the father, 
 with his company, should be disturbed with the 
 squalling of the child, or the lullabies of a vulgar 
 creature of a nurse. The woman may be di- 
 rected, however, to bring it with her when she 
 comes to receive her quarter's payment ; but if 
 it should be dead, she may bring any other 
 child of the same age The father and mother 
 won't know the difference ! 
 
 When the child is weaned, it must be brought 
 home no doubt ; for one does not know what to 
 do with it. By being gaudily dressed, it may,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 253 
 
 however, serve the pleasing purpose of some- 
 times gratifying vanity. 
 
 Take special care to have a handsome smart 
 young woman to keep the child. Desire her to 
 be always showy in her appearance. It is not 
 fit that your child should be carried about by a 
 person who is only plain and clean, and whose 
 attire is suitable to her wages. Give her a half 
 worn silk gown and flounced petticoat, with 
 other showy articles of dress. If she is tolerably 
 well-looked, she will contrive to keep up the 
 show for your credit, and your child will have 
 the happy advantage of being early introduced 
 into company, and of seeing the world much 
 sooner than you are aware of. 
 
 When the child begins to prattle, let it be 
 brought to table after dinner, and let the father, 
 for the amusement of the company, teach its 
 weak organs to pronounce what are called bad 
 words ; learn it to lisp oaths swearing is a fa- 
 shionable accomplishment, and should be taught 
 early, " that when he is old he may not depart 
 
 from it." 
 
 
 " Delightful task ! to rear the tender thought, 
 
 To teach the young idea how to shoot, 
 
 To pour the fresh instruction o'er the mind, 
 
 And breathe th' enlivening spirit."
 
 254 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 It is very diverting to a company to hear the 
 first efforts of speech exerted in attempting the 
 ban ton language. Besides, the servants will 
 assist you in this, as private tutors below stairs, 
 without additional wages. 
 
 When the child is peevish, and desires what 
 it should not have, don't let the poor thing fret, 
 but give it what it wants. By encouraging this 
 habit, he will in time save you the trouble of 
 judging for him, by taking what he wants, 
 whether you think proper or not. If, by his 
 own rashness, he knocks his head or foot against 
 a table or chair, never fail to beat and abuse 
 the table or chair for having done the injury. 
 By and by, if a servant, companion, or even his 
 parent, should accidentally hurt him, he will not 
 fail to follow the example, by kicking or beat- 
 ing them; and this shews spirit. When he 
 comes to have play-fellows, let them be always 
 those of inferior rank. Let your son tell them, 
 that they get their dinner from his papa for 
 being kind to him. If he should desire any of 
 their toys, and a contest should arise, chide the 
 little fellow who rebels for contradicting your 
 dear boy's humour. 
 
 Some parents have a foolish way of teaching 
 their children the golden rule, " to do to others as 
 they would wish to be done to themselves in like
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. %55 
 
 circumstances.'* The instilling of this prin- 
 ciple often cramps the humour of children, and 
 checks a bold tyrannical spirit, which I reckon 
 a princely endowment. 
 
 Some harsh parents have also a practice of 
 chastising their children, when they are obsti- 
 nately capricious or deceitful. Most mothers, 
 however, will agree with me, that it is shocking 
 to put the poor little creatures under any re- 
 straint, for they look so vastly pretty when they 
 are pleased, and then it hurts one's feelings to 
 see them out of humour. When he is fit to go 
 to school, give special charge to the master not 
 to chastise your dear boy. Indeed you won't 
 have your child beat, whatever his faults may 
 be. Pay, however, handsomely, that you may 
 not be affronted by your son being very low in 
 the class. The notice he cannot attract by his 
 own application, you may try to obtain by a 
 handsome quarter's payment ; and be sure to 
 raise his reputation in the school, by a genteel 
 donation at Candlemas ; let it be at least a 
 quater floreat. Having been accustomed to 
 constant indulgence, the noble feelings of re- 
 sentment and revenge will glow with ardour in 
 his breast, on any attempt to control him. If 
 his master should chastise him, he will shew 
 that he cannot brook contradiction, by giving
 
 9.56 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 a blow. If a companion should accidentally 
 offend him, a knife will revenge the offence, 
 and sorrow and contrition he will utterly dis- 
 dain. Every appearance of gentleness, tender- 
 ness, modesty, or affection, should be checked 
 early, if you wish him to be a man of fashion, 
 and a modern fine- fellow. 
 
 You may get a private tutor to attend your 
 son, and pray pay attention to the character of 
 the one you choose. Do not let him be of a se- 
 rious or studious turn, but one who is acquainted 
 with life; one who wishes to appear as little of 
 the clergyman or scholar as possible, but what is 
 called a jolly dog, who will sit with you and 
 take his bottle, join in your toasts, listen to your 
 feats of drinking or hunting, and such gentle- 
 man-like subjects of discourse ; one who will 
 not be too strict in looking after your boy, or 
 give him a head-ach by keeping him too close 
 to his lessons. Let your son often sit with you 
 after dinner, and teach him to drink his glass 
 and give his toast. Let him see you get drunk 
 now and then. This is the true method to pre- 
 vent his catching unfashionable manners. 
 
 Follow my paradoxical friend Rousseau's ad- 
 vice as to religion. Let all instruction on this 
 subject come as late as possible. Children who 
 
 learn with wonderful facility all other branches 
 
 1
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 257 
 
 of knowledge, cannot conceive that they shall 
 be accountable for their actions; that the Deity 
 is witness to all they do, and will reward the 
 good and punish the bad. Such doctrine checks 
 the propensities of nature. But let the passions 
 open, and let habits be acquired, and you may 
 then preach religion as much as you please ; for 
 it will have as little effect as I wish it to have. 
 Your own practice at home will also confirm 
 your son in the belief that it is all a farce, and 
 that there is nothing so tiresome. That I may 
 not appear so, I shall at present conclude, and 
 resume the subject in my next. I am, &c. 
 
 Belzebub. 
 E. C. 
 
 LETTER THIRD. 
 
 Sir, March 18, 1786. 
 
 A certain philosopher of ancient Greece 
 used frequently to go to an elevated situation of 
 the city on the market-days, and call out to the 
 people as they passed " If you wish for hap- 
 piness at home, or safety to the state, educate 
 your children." So say I ; but my plan of edu- 
 
 R
 
 58 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 eation is suited to the present state of society, 
 and considerable alterations, it will be allowed, 
 have taken place since the days of ancient 
 Greece. 
 
 There is a book called the Bible, and particu- 
 larly that part called the New Testament, which 
 I utterly abhor. Pray keep it carefully out of 
 your son's hands ; for one does not know what 
 passage may strike his mind, and totally ruin the 
 plan of making him a fine fellow. As you make 
 little use of it yourself, except in the way of ri- 
 dicule and witticism, there is no danger of its 
 doing much harm ; and the tutor (if you have 
 made a right choice) will only use it to enable 
 him to get a living, without having any convic- 
 tion of the truths it contains upon his heart. 
 Never speak to your son respecting his duty to 
 God, to society, or himself. Let all your pre- 
 cepts and example teach him to please himself, 
 and gratify his passions, without regard to the 
 rights of others. 
 
 It is delightful now-a-days to hear how my 
 young friends speak of hell. They mention it 
 with as much familiarity as if it was their father's 
 house; and, poor things ! they shall always be 
 welcome to my habitation. If a civil question 
 is asked at them, or if they invite a companion 
 to go to any frolic, and he refuses, they plea-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 259 
 
 santly retort, Go to hell ! that is no more than to 
 say, HI Go home," where they will always find a 
 warm reception. 
 
 Let your son ramble about wherever he pleases, 
 and particularly in the evenings (for I love works 
 of darkness), and make no inquiries where he 
 has been ; for, if you do, you won't be much the 
 wiser. He will by this practice acquire a free, 
 bold, and forward manner, much above his years, 
 to the surprise of every serious thinking person. 
 Let him associate with what companions he 
 pleases ; and, as you have in your city a very 
 indulgent police (or rather no police at all), he 
 will find, at every step, plenty of idle boys and 
 girls of all ages on the street, ready for any fro- 
 lic. Your late dinners, card-parties, or public 
 amusements, no doubt, will put it out of your 
 power to attend to your son ; but you need not 
 think of him by my plan, he will find amuse- 
 ment for himself. If he comes home in the 
 evening, before the card-party is broke up, and 
 his father should chide him, let mamma observe 
 (betwixt the deals) that really she can see no 
 good to be got by always poring over books; 
 the child's health might suffer by confinement. 
 Young master hearing this once or twice, will 
 soon learn as much artifice as to evade ever 
 looking at a book. What signifies Greek and
 
 260 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Latin, or knowledge, or morals, to a fine gen- 
 tleman. 
 
 When the boy does any thing uncommonly 
 vicious, or deceitful for his years, laugh at the 
 frolic, for it shows spunk. Stroak his head upon 
 such occasions, and call him, in a kindly tone, a 
 wicked little rogue, or a little Pickle. He will, 
 from this treatment, every day improve, and 
 Pickle will soon become a very wicked dog in- 
 deed. Don't restrict him from keeping company 
 with the servants, or reading improving ballads 
 with the maids; for he should know all characters. 
 
 And now comes the time when the most ne- 
 cessary part of modern education should be at- 
 tended to, and that is dancing. This is the pe- 
 riod to form your son either a pretty gentleman, 
 by some thick-pated people called a coxcomb ; 
 or a fine-fellow, not unfrequently termed a black- 
 guard : But it is not unlikely you may succeed 
 in making him a part of both, which is the most 
 fashionable of all characters. This branch of 
 education he will probably be fonder of than any 
 other ; and therefore give him as much of it as 
 he pleases, although all that is made of it now- 
 a-days is to be able to scamper through a coun- 
 try dance. Gracefulness, elegance, and taste, 
 are totally out of fashion in dancing. Romping 
 is the ton. The frolicking with the misses will
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES- 26l 
 
 please him vastly, and the evening practisings he 
 will delight in. 
 
 Let mamma study now to dress him well, by 
 giving him laced linen, the most fashionable 
 large buckles, handsome silk stockings, embroi- 
 dered waistcoats, and every tonish piece of dress 
 in perfection. The father, if he is (what is call- 
 ed) a sensible man, will probably remonstrate 
 against all this finery, and represent dancing as 
 only a frivolous and secondary accomplishment: 
 But the proper way of reasoning for mothers is, 
 to hold these as antiquated notions : The poor 
 fellow must be clean ; and then it looks so vastly 
 pretty and genteel, and the misses will be quite 
 
 in love with him. Had not Lord B *s son 
 
 such a dress ? and Sir R. S 's son such ano- 
 ther ? Ten to one but the father may say 
 People of rank's children are the most simply 
 dressed. This, however, must be laughed at, 
 and master will be indulged. When the ball 
 comes about, the dear boy must have pocket- 
 money, and surely nothing ripens a young per- 
 son more than plenty of pocket-money. The 
 same sort of father may perhaps say What oc- 
 casion has his son for money ? he gets what is 
 proper for him, and money he may put to im- 
 proper purposes All he can want at a ball i 
 perhaps an orange.
 
 262 
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 But it must be answered, Poor thing ! it makes 
 him so happy ! and then Master Such-a one 
 had so much money at the last ball, and people 
 must be neighbour like, you know. Not that I 
 would give our son so much gold as Gold ! 
 perhaps the father will interrupt hastily. Why, 
 Mrs Careful, who has the best bred sons at the 
 school, gives them only sixpence, and it is 
 enough. There was but last year a parcel of 
 your pocket-money boys had a hot supper and 
 a drink, in a neighbouring tavern, instead of 
 their bread and milk ! Others again bought 
 negus (which, by the way, ought always to be 
 permitted at dancing-school balls, and made 
 strong,) and the consequence of all this was, 
 that a number of boys got drunk, disturbed the 
 company, and insulted the girls. The answer 
 to this remonstrance of the father is plain enough, 
 viz. Your dear boy is better bred, and won't do 
 so ; therefore give him the money, and make 
 the boy happy. 
 
 If the father is a man of an easy temper, or 
 one of the ton y who follows his own pleasures, he 
 will let the mother and the son do just as they 
 please, and then all parties will be satisfied, 
 which is what I wish. 
 
 By following this plan, which is now indeed 
 very much practised, your son will be a man at
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 263 
 
 twelve, a boy all the rest of his life. And a^s 
 you mortals wish to remain young as long as 
 you can, this system cannot fail of being very 
 agreeable. It would be tedious to suit this plan 
 of education to every condition ; but discerning 
 parents will be easily able to apply the general 
 principle to particular situations. 
 
 In my next I shall introduce my young man 
 a little more into life. I am, &c. 
 
 E. C. Belzebub. 
 
 - 
 LETTER FOURTH. 
 
 Now has your well-train'd son mature attaiu'd 
 The joyful prime, when youth, elate and gay, 
 
 Steps into life, and follows, unrestrain'd, 
 Where passion leads, or pleasure points the way. 
 
 Sir, March 26. 1786. 
 
 In my last I approved of parents making their 
 sons men at twelve, that they might be boys all 
 the rest of their lives ; and as people wish to 
 remain young as long as they can, I hope the 
 system was not displeasing. If I may judge 
 from practice, it is indeed much otherwise than 
 displeasing, and it undoubtedly has a manifest
 
 264 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 advantage in saving time. Why, Sir, a few 
 years ago, a boy in your country was a boy till 
 he had passed the greatest part of his academical 
 studies, and bashfulness and modesty even mark- 
 ed the demeanour of riper years. Boys were 
 then laughed at, and hissed by their school- 
 fellows, as silly insignificant puppies, who were 
 taken up about dress, or in attending the misses : 
 But now, before they have half learned their 
 grammar and exercises, they commence men of 
 gallantry ; after which parents and masters may 
 attempt indeed to teach them, but in reality 
 their education is finished. The mauvaise honte, 
 which my friend Chesterfield labours so much 
 to conquer, is now soon got over, and you have 
 knowing little fellows long before they go to 
 college. Some of your graver sort of people 
 wonder at the pertness and impudence of the 
 boys, but these unfashionable people are wear- 
 ing out. 
 
 Some moral writers (who, by the way, I am 
 glad to see so little attended to), boldly assert, 
 that ignorance of vice is the surest guardian of 
 virtue. This is strange doctrine to hold in this 
 enlightened age ! when knowledge of what they 
 are pleased to call vice is so much in fashion; 
 and, among the young, it is the only knowledge 
 valued, or even talked of nay also among those
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. $65 
 
 who are no chickens ! Indeed a young person 
 cannot remain long ignorant, in your improving 
 state of police and manners; and all preceptors, 
 as well as myself, say, that the more a young 
 person knows, so much the better. 
 
 By the former system, a young person's taste 
 and principles were formed before he became a 
 man he had sources of elegant entertainment 
 within himself a relish was formed for the ac- 
 quisition of knowledge from works of genius 
 the study of nature the pursuit of moral sci- 
 ence the fine arts, &c while frivolous amuse- 
 ment and dissipation were held as unmanly and 
 unworthy. But how much superior to all these 
 is the present early knowledge of life ! The 
 pursuit of a hare or a fox or of an honest man's 
 wife or daughter a taste for champaign and 
 claret for dress for cards horse-racing 
 cock-fighting tavern parties- and, above all, 
 the divine culinary science ! This is to live! 
 the other was to think and which, I pray you, 
 has the better bargain ? Every fine-fellow wilt 
 tell you, if you are doubtful. 
 
 As you have hitherto been very indulgent to 
 me, I will not oppress you with a long letter at 
 present, but prosecute the steps of fashionable 
 education in my next. I am, &c. 
 
 E. C. Belzebub.
 
 266 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 LETTER FIFTH. 
 
 
 Vast happiness enjoy my gay allies ! 
 
 A youth of folly an old age of cares : 
 Young, yet enervate ; old, yet never wise ; 
 
 Vice wastes their body, and their mind impairs. 
 
 Sir, April 1.1786. 
 
 It is the charming characteristic of the present 
 times, that no restraint is put on the inclinations 
 of youth ; that they are early introduced into 
 life to public amusements j and that they soon 
 commence men of the world. Some people 
 complain, that habits of licentiousness and pro- 
 fligacy are contracted before proper principles 
 and taste are established ; and hence characters 
 are formed, which must turn out ignorant, vi- 
 cious, and despicable in life. These notions, 
 however, should be ridiculed. What they call 
 licentiousness is no more than freedom, the ac- 
 knowledged birth-right of every Briton; and, 
 if health permits it (or whether it permits or not), 
 why should not young people enjoy life in the 
 way they like it ! It is in vain to urge, that they 
 will be despicable in life, for they can only be 
 Jike their neighbours, and then there is no room 
 for contempt. Custom can give sanction to any 
 extravagance, and the multitude of the profligate
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 267 
 
 gives countenance to what (in more sober times) 
 might indeed be reckoned the most pernicious 
 vices. But there is now happily a liberal way 
 of thinking, and freedom and ease is the fashion. 
 There is now no such thing as shame, that pain- 
 ful feeling, and young people, who can glory in 
 nothing else, have always their profligacy left to 
 boast of without a blush ; and in this they are 
 supported by many older fellows than them- 
 selves. It is no uncommon thing for father and 
 son, tutor and pupil, to mix in licentious dis- 
 course, to laugh at religion principles of rec- 
 titude, and decorum. This is the very state of 
 society I hope to see universal, and it is coming 
 on to my wish. 
 
 I formerly reckoned this a most unfriendly 
 climate, but things are greatly mended, and, in 
 order to ripen the harvest, I shall subjoin a few 
 directions. 
 
 If the son has been educated upon the plan 
 pointed out in my former letters, and which I 
 have reason to think is the most approved of, he 
 will make a rapid progress towards being a 
 fashionable fine-fellow. 
 
 Having no restraint upon his mind from a 
 sense of duty to his Creator, the witness and 
 judge of all he does not having been taught 
 to consider the motives of his actions, or to act
 
 268 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 from principles of justice, by doing to others in 
 every case as he would wish to be done to him- 
 self in like circumstances having no sense of 
 obedience to parents from duty or affection 
 having no ideas impressed upon his mind of the 
 destiny of his nature the importance of time 
 or of fulfilling the duties of the station allotted 
 him all such things being reckoned much, 
 above his -comprehension, or neglected till he 
 becomes a man ; he will, before you imagine, 
 consider himself a man without them, and be as 
 free as the inhabitants of the forest ; and like 
 them, too, he will act. His own inclinations 
 will be the only rule of his conduct, and these 
 he will pursue without regard to any view but 
 present gratification. 
 
 And now comes the mother's vexation ; the 
 father's uneasiness will come a little later. She 
 must wink at all her son's faults, and carefully 
 conceal them, especially as they will generally 
 reflect upon her own conduct. If the father 
 should chide him, or be harsh for his misde- 
 meanours, it must be represented by the mother 
 that it will break the boy's spirit. If the father 
 should make any inquiry about the conduct of 
 his son, or how he has passed his time, let the 
 mother amuse him with a cock and a bull story. 
 The boy will soon learn, from the example, tc*
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 269 
 
 deceive them both ; or, if he should be detected 
 in a falsehood (although he has always been told 
 to tell the truth), he will very naturally say, did 
 you not do so yourself? I have no objection to 
 parents giving good precepts, if they contradict 
 them in practice. If he should live some years, 
 the parents need not be surprised if he should curse 
 the way he had been brought up ; but more of 
 this afterwards. The mother may, perhaps, upon 
 occasions, find it necessary to give her son ad- 
 vice ; but her admonitions will now come too 
 late. Her words go for nothing ; he knows her 
 indulgence too well, and he can coax her at any 
 time. She must carefully conceal all his faults, 
 for fear they should be corrected. 
 
 ]f the father is a right father, let him swear 
 freely before his son, and, by way of wit, bring 
 in double entendres in his conversation ; but if 
 he has no wit, he may use the single, which is 
 much easier understood. His son will soon 
 surpass him in all the three accomplishments of 
 swearing, and double and single entendre, and 
 will treat his master very properly with disre- 
 spect. 
 
 Some people, even yet, are scrupulous how 
 they speak before young persons ; but this is 
 being over delicate. There is nothing more 
 common than for the father to say " Never
 
 27Q EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 mind him, he is but a boy." My young friends, 
 however, are not so unobserving, and impres- 
 sions on their minds are indelible. No word or 
 action of those they look up to is lost, and there- 
 fore I wish the example to be continued, as it 
 brings them forward in their education. 
 
 Give your son always plenty of pocket- 
 money, and he will easily find proper companions 
 to spend it with. The gingerbread period is now 
 over, and he must now be more amply supplied. 
 He will entertain his companions with what his 
 father said, and how he gulled his mother. In- 
 stead of attending the French, or any evening 
 school, he will now and then rake about the 
 streets, and in the groupes of apprentice boys 
 and girls, and my more advanced friends, who, 
 by a proper indulgence of the police, infest it, 
 his knowledge and manners will be highly im- 
 proved. When young misses come to visit at 
 home, they will not find your son sheepish or 
 bashful ! Some mothers complain, that they dare 
 not trust their daughters out of their sight, the 
 boys are so early vicious, and so soon turn 
 blackguards. I shall give my advice upon this 
 point when I come to speak of female education. 
 
 The next step is to have a fashionable hair- 
 dresser. Your son must have no regular time 
 of dressing, if he wishes to be fashionable. Let
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 271 
 
 his hair be combed in the morning half dressed 
 before dinner and full dressed in the evening. 
 An hour at least each time must be employed 
 in this important business. Brown powder in 
 the morning a mixture of brown and white be- 
 fore dinner and in the evening, white scented. 
 In the morning, the hair may be loosely plaited, 
 and turned up like a lady's on the top of the head ; 
 but as this fashion has now got down to footmen, 
 some new mode must be devised. Let my young 
 friends always follow the fashion of the ladies, 
 and they cannot be far wrong. Your son will 
 receive much instruction by being so long in 
 company every day with the hairdresser. The 
 news of every family he attends, and their eco 
 nomy, will be narrated. How the misses are 
 employed how to be dressed their conversa- 
 tion and their engagements ; besides he may 
 drop a hint now and then, &c. -By this means 
 the hairdresser will become a most domestic 
 animal, and the master or mistress need not be 
 surprised if he should sometimes be their lodger 
 for a night. Nanny and Betty, the servants, are 
 prudent girls, and your son or daughter may 
 profit some day by their circumspection ! 
 
 Mr Pommade runs no risk of detection in his 
 own intrigue with the maids, unless the mistress 
 is seized with wandering about at untimeous
 
 272 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 hours ; or young master should want a glass of 
 water at midnight. 
 
 I am, &c. 
 E. C. Belzebub. 
 
 LETTER SIXTH. 
 
 Vain, idle, senseless, now in thoughtless ease, 
 Reserving woes for age their life they spend ; 
 
 But wretched ! hopeless ! in the evil days, 
 With sorrow to the verge of life they tend ; 
 
 Tir'd v* ith the present of the past asham'd 
 They live, and are despis'd : They die, nor more are nam'd ! 
 
 Sir, 
 Such is the picture some of your wise people 
 draw for the generality of the young of the pre- 
 sent age. These wise heads represent this life 
 as only the dawn of endless existence ; that it 
 is, therefore, of importance to consider the des- 
 tiny of man ! that happiness, even here, must 
 result from the consciousness of a useful and well 
 spent life; and that, to have the stream run 
 clear, care must be taken, that the fountain is 
 not polluted. But all this, like every thing else 
 that is serious in this frolicsome age, should be 
 ridiculed. These wise ones are weak enough to
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 273 
 
 venture to contrast one of their fine-fellows with, 
 one of mine ; but, in reality, there is no compa- 
 rison. They paint a youth of innocence and 
 simplicity, with the seeds of virtue and piety 
 early implanted, and gradually expanding a 
 desire of useful knowledge increasing, and, in 
 time, raising the mind to elevation and sublimity, 
 in the contemplation of the immensity of the 
 power, the wisdom, and goodness displayed in 
 the visible creation; in tracing the nature of 
 man, his powers, his duties, and his destination; 
 -pursuing sources of delightful entertainment 
 in the history and aspect of mankind, in various 
 periods and situations. They exhibit their young 
 man as possessing a heart warmed with benevo- 
 lent and kind affections ; his actions guided by 
 justice and reason, and always pursuing the best 
 means to obtain the worthiest ends ; enjoying 
 the bounties of providence in moderation, with 
 a cheerful and thankful heart; despising mean* 
 ness, selfishness, and deceit, and holding every 
 breach of moral duty as unbecoming a gentle- 
 man. Thus educated, they represent him as a 
 warm friend an entertaining and instructing 
 companion, perhaps possessing wit, but with- 
 out grossness or indelicacy, and never with ill 
 nature, but to lash vice a useful member of so- 
 ciety, amiable, and esteemed in all the relations
 
 274 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 of life, regretted in death, but never dead in 
 the affectionate remembrance of his friends ! 
 But, in our fashionable language, this is all a 
 
 d d bore it is mere twaddle. My gay fine 
 
 fellows laugh at all this kind of stuff. Such a 
 fellow has no soul no spunk they would not 
 get drunk with him, he is not enough of the 
 ton. Indeed, if any one appears superior to his 
 neighbours in point of knowledge or principle, 
 my friends very properly run him down, or, if 
 he is young, theysoon laugh him out of his no- 
 tions; and do not many philosophers maintain, 
 That ridicule is the test of truth ? and the many 
 instances that happen of the kind I have men- 
 tioned, prove the justness of their doctrine. A 
 very few, indeed, affect to pity and despise my 
 friends, but they gain nothing by this ; for the 
 pity and contempt are mutual, and I have at 
 least ten to one in my favour. My young 
 friends make the most of life. They make use 
 of what is set before them, and think not of to- 
 morrow. They are tired sometimes, no doubt, 
 for they try their constitutions, to be sure, pretty 
 freely ; and vacant hours will happen. But if a 
 tedium vitoe should at last oppress them, that 
 is (to explain to those who have not learned La- 
 tin,) if they should have no more relish for eat- 
 ing and drinking, dancing, playing at cards,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 275 
 
 gallantry, gambling, and diversions, there being 
 no other resources of entertainment worth notice, 
 they very properly have the manliness to put 
 an end to a life that is become wearisome ; and 
 thus they boldly extinguish their spunky when 
 it will no longer shine with its usual brightness. 
 Lest some of my young friends, however, should 
 mistake the road, by falling in with bad com- 
 pany, or bad example, I shall point out the broad 
 way. 
 
 I am to suppose, that my directions for edu- 
 cating your son in early life, without moral or 
 religious principles, have been followed, and 
 that now he is upon his entrance into life, with- 
 out a taste for knowledge. 
 
 Any little attention your son has hitherto been 
 obliged to give to books has been tiresome and 
 irksome. The fatigue of reading or thinking is 
 intolerable. But he will presently sit up whole 
 nights in a tavern, or gallop from sunrise to sun- 
 set after a pack of hounds, without reckoning it 
 any fatigue at all. He will hate to listen to peo- 
 ple of good sense and delicate manners. By the 
 education he has received, he will think himself 
 a man long before nature intended he should be, 
 and loose (that is free,) conversation will, with 
 him, be the harbinger of similar conduct. 
 
 Some moral writers represent, " That few
 
 276 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 know how to be idle and innocent, or have re- 
 lish for any pleasures not criminal ; every di- 
 version they take is at the expence of some vir- 
 tue, and the first step from necessary employ- 
 ment, or business, is into vice or folly " To 
 prevent this, these odd sort of people recommend 
 the forming a young person's taste for letters 
 the fine arts manly exercises and accomplish- 
 ments, &c. I have no objection more than they, 
 in my plan of education, to fill up vacant hours 
 by reading. It gives a stimulus and zest to ac- 
 tive employment. My plan of reading, however, 
 is far more light, easy, and agreeable than theirs. 
 No regular plan is requisite, and it may be re- 
 sumed at any time, with equal improvement. 
 
 What I recommend to your son's perusal are 
 modern novels magazines comedies and farces 
 trials for divorce, which the neighbouring 
 kingdom so amply furnishes now-a-days, and 
 which are always published. Indeed, there are 
 now luckily publishers who will print and sell 
 any thing that does not endanger their ears. 
 Some of them, for the good they have done to 
 my interest, by their total disregard of decency 
 and propriety, should be rewarded with the dig- 
 nified title of " most excellent printers to his in- 
 fernal Majesty." 
 
 If your son can read French, there is also
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 27*7 
 
 ample store in that language for his amusement 
 and improvement. 
 
 The novels of the last age were of the grand 
 and heroic kind. They were not a picture of 
 life indeed, but had a tendency to infuse a stately 
 dignity of character, which now is laughed at. 
 The present, with a* few exceptions, are more 
 warm and inflammatory, and more suited to life 
 and manners, which, to say the truth, are much 
 indebted to these compositions for the liberal 
 progress that is made and still making towards 
 what I reckon perfection. To the honour of this 
 country, a Scotchman was one of the first and 
 the ablest writer in this delightful species of com- 
 position, and most rapidly did his labours in- 
 crease the number of my votaries, many of whom 
 are now reaping the fruits of the instruction. 
 De Vergy, an Anglo-Frenchman, followed next; 
 and then, a thousand of my kind friends after 
 him. It has been said that 
 
 " Fontaine and Chaucer dying, wish'd unwrote 
 " The sprightliest efforts of their wanton thought." 
 
 And a great though falsely admired writer has 
 given this opinion 
 
 " But in one point is all true wisdom cast, 
 " To think that early we must think at last."
 
 278 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 But such silly sentiments tend to check the 
 glorious liberty of the press ; and this liberty, 
 which has long been without controul, I am 
 much indebted to, and I will not fail to reward 
 its bold supporters. Of late years, I have been 
 much obliged by the writings of a French gentle- 
 man the younger Crebillon. His works have 
 been the foundation of some of the most recent, 
 and the most remarkable divorces that ever took 
 place. All these works are very probably pub- 
 licly advertised, and Parliament, with their Lords 
 spiritual, either see not the consequences, or 
 very wisely do not choose to take notice of them. 
 The Chamberlain also daily gives licenses for 
 theatrical performances, quite to my mind, al- 
 though the King publishes a proclamation for 
 the suppression of vice and immorality. I can 
 have no objection to his Majesty making an ap- 
 pearance of reformation, if the officers of the 
 Crown encourage licentiousness. 
 
 I approve much of the great increase of cir- 
 culating libraries over the kingdom. An indis- 
 criminate reader at these seminaries of knowledge 
 I could not wish to see in a more hopeful train. 
 A circulating library kept by a man of taste, 
 principles, and attention, I would indeed very 
 much dislike ; for it might promote a relish for 
 literature and useful knowledge at an easy rate,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 279 
 
 and he might be patronized by my enemies. 
 But, amidst the great numbers that now abound, 
 this can but rarely happen ; therefore I wish 
 them all manner of success. 
 
 Let your son read as many of the above sort 
 of books as he pleases. Don't be afraid of his 
 hurting his eyes, or of his getting a headach in 
 such study. He will, for his amusement, also 
 recommend them to the misses, who may hap- 
 pen to be more ignorant than himself. As the 
 passions are not sufficiently strong of themselves, 
 and easily kept under command, the perusal of 
 such books are necessary to give them due force. 
 The passions might have lain dormant without 
 such assistance. Your son will now think of 
 nothing else but indulgence. He will judge of 
 every female, as the bestice ferce do of every ani- 
 mal they can conquer, viz. that they are lawful 
 prey ; and, like them too, he will soon learn to 
 be dexterous in the arts of ensnaring. He may 
 probably tire of the common herd of the aban- 
 doned j but any innocent girl who strikes his 
 fancy he will be artful in wiles and stratagems to 
 seduce. It is remarked by some acute observers 
 of human nature, " That young people early 
 corrupted are generally inhuman and cruel that 
 they are impatient, vindictive, impetuous, and 
 frequently brutal in their manners. They have
 
 280 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 only one object to occupy their imagination ; in 
 pursuit of which they will lie, cheat, and deceive, 
 yet reckon themselves gentlemen upon honour." 
 But all this is no more than to say, that the boys 
 are bold and spirited, and they do credit to me 
 by their principles and practice. 
 
 Your son, thus begun, will not scruple to in- 
 struct the daughter of his father's best friend 
 or the sister of his intimate companion, in all he 
 knows ; but on the mention of his own sister 
 being so treated, probably his honour will be 
 roused, and he will think himself included in the 
 infamy and disgrace which the prejudices of the 
 world yet throw upon want of delicacy or virtue 
 in the female character. But, do as you would 
 be done by, was no part of his education. 
 I am, &c. 
 
 E. C. Belzebub. 
 
 LETTER SEVENTH. 
 
 " Reason panders will." Shakespeare. 
 
 Sir, April, 17. 1786. 
 
 Some few years since, the young people used 
 to have philosophical disputes among themselves 
 about the foundation of morality the origin of
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 281 
 
 evil fit and unfit right and wrong the good 
 of society, &c. But the wise observers of the 
 present day take the liberty of saying, that the 
 youth now follow the wrong without any dispute 
 nay, and that too, long before they know 
 what is right. Upon this head, however, I will 
 argue, for the sake of my young friends, with 
 any of your moral philosophers. What they 
 call wrong, 1 positively aver to be right ; and I 
 hope I may be allowed to be the oldest disputant 
 whatever, upon the subject of the origin of evil, 
 and right and wrong, if that gives any claim of 
 respect to opinion. Human life, Sir, is too short 
 for metaphysical disputes and inquiries; and my 
 young friends are right to follow their own incli- 
 nations, without giving themselves the trouble 
 of thinking about what is fit, or what is wrong. 
 But, even without my assistance, if any of my 
 young friends should be attacked by these fasti- 
 dious moralists, they can defend themselves by 
 unanswerable argument. For instance, upon 
 the subject with which I concluded my last let- 
 ter. There is nothing more common than to 
 hear youth of modern honour and fashion use 
 this argument for female seduction. 
 
 " Why, such a plan, no doubt, would have 
 been disgraceful and infamous, to have attempt- 
 ed upon a woman of rank and fashion ! but to
 
 282 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 an ordinary girl, and below one's own rank, Lord 1 
 where's the harm ?" Suppose now one of your 
 men of principle should take up this argument 
 against a gay young fellow, it would probably 
 go on in this manner, and in the end you'll find 
 the philosopher will be silenced. 
 
 Philosopher. All mankind, Sir, are equal in 
 the sight of the Almighty ! and the rights of 
 none can be infringed without guilt. What 
 you call people of rank and fashion, I suppose, 
 are those of an equal rank with yourself, or ris- 
 ing above that rank ; and people of ordinary 
 condition are below your own rank. 
 
 Gentleman. You are right, Sir, as to the dis- 
 tinction of rank ; but I deny that all men are 
 equal. I consider those below me as born to be 
 subservient to me ; and I think there is no harm 
 in seducing a girl that is not entitled to expect 
 me for a husband. If she allows liberties in 
 such expectation, she is a fool : If she keeps 
 her own secret, and manages well, she has a 
 chance of getting a husband suitable to her. 
 
 Philosopher. All rank, Sir, is adventitious : 
 It might have been mine as well as your's. Go 
 back but a little way, and you will find all our 
 predecessors were savages and barbarians. Ac- 
 cident raised one, and depressed another. The 
 high to-day may be low to-morrow, while those
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 283 
 
 in a humble sphere may rise to opulence and 
 honours; and can mere accidental circumstan- 
 ces vary the nature and obligations of man ? 
 The higher his station, the more duties he has 
 to perform ; and will the Almighty ! before 
 whom all mankind are less than nothing, listen 
 to the plea of rank, as a palliation of a crime ? 
 According to human reason and justice, it is 
 an aggravation. But taking your own argu- 
 mentYou say, you do no injury by seduction, 
 when the female is of an inferior rank ; and it is 
 only an injury when she is of equal or superior 
 station ; that, by adding deceit and falsehood 
 to criminality, she may pass well enough for the 
 bosom friend and the domestic comfort of a man 
 of her own rank. Be it so : Then surely every 
 rank superior to your own do no injury in sedu- 
 cing or debauching your sister, and in all proba- 
 bility exposing her to shame and infamy ; or, if 
 not, she is good enough for a wife to one of her 
 own station. 
 
 Gentleman. Hold, Sir Start not such an 
 idea By Heavens ! were any man, be his sta- 
 tion what it would, to offer the smallest indelica- 
 cy or indignity to my sister, I would put him to 
 death without scruple, were I to be sacrificed 
 for it the next moment. No more of this, Sir, I 
 pray.
 
 284 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 Philosopher. You are justly warm, and right, 
 Sir. But, on cool reflection, you must see that 
 every inferior rank to you have as good a right 
 to punish people in your station, as you have 
 those above you. Believe me, " Do as you 
 would be done by" must be the rule of action in 
 every station and situation of life, if we would do 
 right. It is with you as with too many in the 
 world : The head is employed in finding an ex- 
 cuse for the inclination, without examining the 
 propriety or justice of the action. 
 
 Gentleman. You distract me, Sir Go to 
 hell with your arguments. 
 
 This, as I hinted, is an unanswerable argu- 
 ment, and the philosopher is silenced. This re- 
 tort very properly closes many a debate, and 
 disputants can go to no place where they will 
 be made more welcome; but your men of prin- 
 ciple, 1 have always found, are very shy of com- 
 ing to 
 
 E. C. Belzebub. 

 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 285 
 
 LETTER EIGHTH. 
 
 I looked through my casement, and discerned among the youth a 
 young man void of understanding, passing through the street. In the 
 twilight there met him a woman in the attire of a harlot, and subtile of 
 heart. She was loud and stubborn, her feet abode not in her house. 
 Now she was without, now in the street, and lay in wait at every cor- 
 ner. With an impudent face she said " Come, I have peace-offerings 
 with me." But her house is the way to hell ! 
 
 Solomon. 
 
 Such were the observations, and such the 
 reflection of one of my most ancient and inve- 
 terate enemies, on looking one evening from his 
 window ; and by people of absurd taste it is 
 reckoned a very fine description even at this 
 day. But, after all, he saw but one among the 
 many so employed ; which shows that my in- 
 terest was then rather at a low ebb. Times, 
 however, are greatly mended ; had the author 
 lived now-a-days, he probably would have 
 thought that his window had been glazed with 
 multiplying glasses, or disbelieved his own eyes, 
 especially if it happened to be Sunday evening 
 when he made his observation. 
 
 If it was from the attire the being subtle or 
 cunning the gadding about the streets, and 
 never resting at home the impudent and undis- 
 mayed countenance the loud talking or obsti-
 
 286 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 nacy, that he took the woman for a harlot, he 
 probably would (according to his notions) have 
 had but an indifferent opinion of many of the 
 modern females at first sight. But these ap- 
 pearances I may possibly come to defend, for 
 the sake of my female friends, in some future 
 
 letter. 
 
 He does not mention the age of the youth he 
 
 observed ; but as, till of late, boys were boys till 
 eighteen and upwards, it is presumable, that, in 
 these earlier days, his singular young man was 
 at least above the age of majority at the time of 
 the observation. Had he lived now-a days, 
 however, he might have seen whole groups of 
 little fellows at thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen 
 years of age, answering the description of his 
 young man, even in this cold climate ; and often 
 led on by those who, although they cannot in- 
 deed be said to be youths, may yet be allowed 
 to be void of understanding ! 
 
 It is matter of pleasing astonishment to me to 
 observe the success of my plans respecting edu- 
 cation and manners of late years ; and I must 
 say, that my emissaries have been very attentive 
 and assiduous. These plans I may some day 
 more fully open, when my interest has acquired 
 a proper degree of strength : and when I see 
 
 5
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 287 
 
 people of all denominations determinately going 
 to hell as fast as they can. In the meantime, I 
 wish to avoid bold and violent stretches in vice, 
 for these strike even the dullest and most luke- 
 warm enemies ; but I would rather steal gently 
 on, step by step, without alarming, till I get a 
 proper footing : 
 
 " Ex glande altissiraa quercus.'' 
 
 Some, indeed, of what are called " the discern- 
 ing,'* detect my schemes, and perceive the conse- 
 quences to society ; but these are few in number, 
 and only lament in secret. They mark the be- 
 ginning of the disease, and would wish to apply 
 an immediate remedy ; but they have no power 
 or influence ; and, as my poison glides in by a 
 soft and slow progress, people become accustom- 
 ed to the disorder, and think nothing is wrong 
 till the whole mass is corrupted. I was some- 
 what apprehensive I had gone on too rapidly by 
 provoking a royal proclamation* against me, 
 but it has been feebly enforced, or rather not en- 
 forced at all. Few people knew any thing about 
 it. The great disregarded it, my friends among 
 
 * His Majesty's proclamation against vice and immorality, 
 in June 1787.
 
 288 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 all ranks sneered at it, as they very properly do 
 at every thing serious, and magistrates could 
 not be at the trouble to attend to it. 
 
 In the latter part of the above quotation from 
 Old Solomon, he wishes to throw a very un- 
 gentleman like reflection against the place of 
 my abode. My friends, however, must disre- 
 gard such snarlers. I can boast of a warm fire- 
 side, and they may trust that they will meet 
 with very genteel company, and that all my vi- 
 sitors will be treated with equal hospitality, and 
 without my wearying of their presence, which 
 they must allow has too often been the case with 
 them in their landlords' houses during their short 
 stay upon earth. 
 
 Vice has always something sweet and alluring 
 in it, at the time ; and, to make people pleased 
 with the present, and disregardful of the future, 
 is my great system of politics. When restraints 
 of conscience and decency of manners are ne- 
 glected or despised by the great, then freedom 
 and pleasure, or (to speak in common language), 
 licentiousness, will quickly spread among the 
 people. It is said, that the high and the low 
 ranks stand most in need of religion, to keep 
 them what is called correct in conduct ; but I 
 am glad to see, that, by these two classes, reli- 
 gion is most neglected. Hence the violent pur-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 289 
 
 suit of what is called pleasure, in the first, and 
 the prevailing fierceness of manners and crimes, 
 in the latter. 
 
 I must indeed allow, that I am most indebted 
 to the great ; and, but for their aid and example, 
 the lower classes might become moral, honest, 
 gentle, and fearful of offending. 
 
 In the motto from Solomon, he also strikes at 
 one of the greatest sources I possess of acquiring 
 new subjects to my kingdom ; but while there 
 is a plentiful circulation of obscene books and 
 prints ; no restraint from police to the immense 
 number of prostitutes which infest the streets of 
 every great town ; and a freedom of manners 
 that spurns at religion and common decency, 
 encouraged by licentious plays and newspapers, 
 I do not despair of always having a rich crop on 
 the ground. 
 
 I have always said, that too much liberty and 
 luxury would make Britain my own. 
 
 Your reasoning people argue thus upon this 
 subject : The births of males and females in 
 the human race are nearly equal ; hence, say 
 they, the marriage of one man with one woman 
 is the obvious intention of Providence. That 
 an abandoned woman, or a harlot, is therefore a 
 human being lost to society, that she forfeits 
 eve ryhope of domestic comfort and usefulness, 
 
 T
 
 290 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 and the intention of her existence is perverted 
 by the unlawful passion of man. But she is not 
 only lost to society and herself, but she becomes 
 a dangerous nuisance, by being the cause of the 
 corruption and the loss of others who might have 
 been useful. Besides, she leads youth from the 
 path of integrity and duty. From industry and 
 sobriety she plunges them into idleness, expence, 
 dissipation, and crimes, which often terminate in 
 the gibbet. Witness the confessions of the nu- 
 merous malefactors at the fatal tree ! 
 
 Better then, say these wise ones, if such an 
 evil is unavoidable in corrupt society, to devote 
 a few, and keep them separate, than allow gene- 
 ral destruction, by permitting the streets to be 
 crowded with the abandoned, so that neither 
 male nor female of any age can pass without im- 
 portunity to vice, insult, or robbery, at every 
 step. *. Vice soon spreads its baneful influence 
 from individuals to families from families to 
 cities from cities to the empire and an empire 
 corrupted is an empire lost. 
 
 I must allow that there is something plausible 
 
 * The police of the city of Newcastle upon Tyne is said to 
 be better attended to in this particular than any of its size and 
 population in Britain ; and there are consequently few crimes. 
 Prostitutes infesting the streets there are immediately taken up 
 and confined, and effectually banished.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 in these arguments ; but, fortunately for my in- 
 terest, men are guided more by passion than 
 reason, and Government is above paying atten- 
 tion to the manners of the people, although upon 
 them depend the security of the state. I am 
 much offended at the late institution of Sunday 
 schools, and must exert myself to defeat the 
 purposes of this innovation. The young I con- 
 sider as my peculiar charge ; and it is long since 
 I said, 
 
 Farewell fear 
 
 Farewell remorse : All good to me is lost. 
 Evil be thou my good. 
 
 And such a way of thinking is my wish for 
 all mankind. 
 
 This subject has led me to too great a length. 
 In my next, I shall conclude these letters 
 with a short sketch of my pupil, as a member of 
 society, when directions are unnecessary, the 
 character being formed. 
 
 1 am, &c. 
 
 Belzebub.
 
 292 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 LETTER NINTH. 
 
 -A favourite brood appears ; 
 
 In whom the demon, with a mother's joy, 
 Views all her charms reflected all her cares 
 In full repaid. 
 
 Human nature, corrupt as I have endeavour- 
 ed to make it, seldom reaches to any high de- 
 gree of depravity all at once. It often requires 
 the favouring circumstances of bad example, 
 and bad companions, to bring it to what I wish 
 to have it. 
 
 He who never thinks, say the sages, never can 
 be wise ; and hence, they allege, that so few 
 are to be found who have made a just estimate 
 of human life, or of the proper enjoyments of 
 time. My doctrine is diametrically opposite to 
 this. I ardently wish not to think myself, either 
 on the past or the future. In this particular 
 precept of not thinking, I must own my young 
 friends act with a most exemplary and commen- 
 dable perseverance. Thinking, foresight, and 
 the weighing the import of actions, destroys pre- 
 sent enjoyment ; and there will be room enough 
 for thinking in another world than this, which 
 will afford ample scope both for thinking and 
 regret.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 2$3 
 
 These reputed sages say, that, by not think- 
 ing, we often see the dignity of man lost in the 
 debasement of the brute. The intellectual powers 
 of man, which, if properly cultivated, are fitted 
 to raise human nature to a near alliance with 
 superior beings, are sunk in the mere sensual 
 pursuits of animal life ; nay, that the mental 
 faculties are frequently only employed in de- 
 vising means of abusing the animal instincts 
 which nature has bestowed upon man, so that 
 he is often seen in a more humiliating situation 
 than even the brute creation. 
 
 These wise people also represent, that 
 
 A languid, leaden iteration reigns, 
 
 And ever must, o'er those whose joys, are joys 
 
 Of sense. 
 
 On lighten'd minds that bask in Virtue's beams 
 
 Nothing hangs tedious. 
 
 Each rising morning sees them higher rise ; 
 Each bounteous dawn its novelty presents, 
 
 To worth maturing : 
 
 While Nature's circle, like a chariot wheel, 
 
 Rolling beneath their elevated aims, 
 
 Makes their fair prospect fairer every hour ; 
 
 Advancing virtue, in a line to bliss : 
 
 Virtue, which Christian motives best inspire ! 
 
 And Bliss, which Christian schemes alone ensure ! 
 
 It is strange what different views people will
 
 294 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 take of a subject. I feel no pleasure from such 
 prospects, nor any that I love will encourage 
 them. 
 
 Does not every man feel himself master of his 
 own existence, and why should he not enjoy it 
 as best pleases himself? Why should people be 
 troubled with considering what may be the in- 
 tention of providence, the good of society, or fu- 
 ture prospects of bliss, when they have their own 
 inclinations to please here ? Manners are now 
 changed, and the age is too much enlightened to 
 attend to any thing but self-indulgence, and the 
 show of life. Happiness now consists in per- 
 suading the world that you are happy and void 
 of reflection, by attending to external appear- 
 ance and fashion. Some squeamish people, in- 
 deed, will have spasms of mind at times, very- 
 unpleasant, I must own, as I have experienced; 
 but these will go off by perseverance in the line 
 I recommend. The disease seldom takes deep 
 root. The aiming at higher degrees of moral 
 perfection infects few minds. 
 
 In conformity with my system, it is not now 
 so much the object of education with parents to 
 make their children good, worthy, and amiable, 
 as to make them fashionable and showy. It is 
 quite unfashionable to form the heart and man- 
 ners, by instilling principles of probity, humani- 
 
 3
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 295 
 
 ty, gentleness, candour, and the train of manly 
 and amiable virtues. Those who are early train- 
 ed in the principles of religion and morality, 
 confirmed by good example, seldom come to me. 
 I have sometimes hopes of them, but, upon the 
 whole, they do not wander wide. That dis- 
 agreeable thing called Conscience always brings 
 them about to what I think they should despise. 
 If these opposition principles (as I call them) are 
 neglected till the age of fourteen, in general all 
 is well for me. The smattering of Latin and 
 French they may receive at school can do them 
 no harm. The knowledge of the heathen my- 
 thology, and the amours of the deities, are very 
 amusing; and this is very properly the only 
 system of religion with which many young men 
 enter into life. The system of the New Testa- 
 ment, and the principles of Christianity, spoil 
 young people for my purpose. 
 
 I know it is the plan of some parents to watch 
 the opening dawn of the mind, when novelty, like 
 the rising sun, gilds every object with delight, 
 and when dazzling appearances allure to dan- 
 gerous distances from the right road ; when in- 
 experience foresees not the dark clouds that are 
 arising from afar, to obscure the prospect, and 
 to bewilder the stranger. It is at this period 
 that these parents instil principles of religion,
 
 296 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 and of moral conduct, which the tempests of life 
 shall not shake, nor the attacks of temptation 
 overpower. But, fortunately for my interest, 
 the number of such parents are few, and they 
 are daily decreasing as the opposite system pre- 
 vails. 
 
 Could parents indeed look into the volume of 
 futurity, how would they be shocked to see the 
 misconduct and crimes of their children, to have 
 originated in the neglect of education and good 
 example ? How would the most inconsiderate 
 parents tremble to hear the reflections against 
 them in after life, for follies not corrected, pro- 
 pensities not checked in youth ? But such 
 thoughts would mar the pleasures and fashion of 
 life, and parents are very properly too much oc- 
 cupied with the present, to take concern about 
 the future. 
 
 A youth educated upon my system, which is 
 now the prevailing one, comes into life ignorant 
 and unprincipled. He talks of honour, but 
 breaks through every fetter and moral obligation 
 that obstructs the career of sensuality, self-indul- 
 gence, or vanity. The vegetative and animal 
 part of his nature is duly attended to ; but the 
 rational, intellectual, and spiritual, it is irksome 
 to cultivate, and puts a restraint on animal indi- 
 gencies. He can talk fluently of horses, dogs,
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 297 
 
 guns, bottles, bumpers, and wenches ; but if, at 
 any time, he is unhappily situated with people 
 of sense, and the conversation takes a more im- 
 portant turn, he is suddenly seized as if with a 
 locked-jaw, perhaps falls asleep, and has no re- 
 source but to repair to the tavern, the brothel, or 
 the gaming-table, in order to join some riotous 
 crew of my fine-fellows : 
 
 > And when night 
 
 Darkens the streets, then wander forth the sons 
 Of Belial, flown with insolence and wine. 
 
 With such companions he associates. Similar 
 vices, and similar ignorance, it is said, is the 
 principle of their association, and hence their at- 
 tachment is without benevolence their famili- 
 arity without friendship. But they are pleased, 
 and so am I. A snarling enemy of mine seeing 
 a group of these young fellows together one day, 
 said, it was astonishing by what a variety of hie- 
 roglyphics nature had contrived to express 
 folly ! But, as they have no mental resources, 
 why should they not pursue folly, rendered 
 fashionable by so many brilliant examples, and 
 the only pursuits for which their tastes are fitted ? 
 Heavy hours, no doubt, they do experience, and 
 I am plagued to death with contriving vicious 
 amusements for so many of them ; and yet many
 
 298 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 come to me from tcedium vitce before their time 
 of doing mischief is over. 
 
 This office of mine often induces me to think, 
 that the fatigue and vexations of the laborious 
 are not half so much to be pitied as the stare of 
 the languid, or the vacant look and yawn of the 
 idle. But idleness, as the proverb says, is my 
 saddled horse, and I avail myself of it. Sunday 
 is a wearisome day to my friends, for the laws 
 of the country still give countenance to its ob- 
 servance. However, on Sunday, I do more real 
 business among all ranks than on all the other 
 days of the week. Whenever I bring the mind 
 to lose reverence for the duties of that day, I 
 reckon it a prize ; and I hope soon to see the 
 fourth law in the Decalogue in complete disuse. 
 
 As long as health and strength continue, I can 
 contrive amusement for my friends pretty well. 
 I do not say they are useful to the state, to socie- 
 ty, or to themselves ; but, while the delirium of 
 pleasure and fashion continues, they feel no un- 
 easiness, except sometimes when they awake in 
 the dark, or are seized with a fit of sickness : 
 But, in the decline of life, I am sadly plagued 
 with them. A vacant mind, with no fund of 
 consolation the retrospect of a misspent life, 
 and a disrelish of folly, makes them peevish and 
 capricious to all around them, and insupportable
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 299 
 
 to themselves. It is then they have forebodings, 
 and a foretaste of horrors which I cannot allevi- 
 ate, but by drowning care with inebriety. It is 
 then the force of the sentiment of the poet meets 
 them, 
 
 I clasp'd the phantoms, and I found them air. 
 O had I weigh'd them ere my fond embrace, 
 What darts of agony had miss'd my heart ! 
 
 They feel pungent regret on hearing a modern 
 author say, " Every year of a wise man's life 
 should be a censure on the past." The boy 
 despises the infant, the man the boy, the philo- 
 sopher both, and the Christian all. They wish 
 indeed to have life to begin anew ; for, as sons, 
 husbands, fathers, men, they have bCen mise- 
 rably mistaken ; but it is too late, and they die 
 either stupidly insensible, or torn with remorse 
 for their misconduct; but they are welcomely 
 received into the arms of 
 
 Belzebub. 
 
 TO MR *****#*. 
 
 Sir, Oct. 15. 
 
 If the many vices which degrade your cha- 
 racter leave you doubtful of what may be the
 
 300 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 cause of this letter, know that the purpose of it 
 
 is to give you notice of the death of Miss , 
 
 whom you basely betrayed and abandoned to 
 dishonour. 
 
 ^This night she lies in a grave, a monument of 
 your infamy, and an example of that pride 
 which allows not its possessor to live in shame ! 
 Of her many miseries you were the wretched 
 cause In her deep and poignant contrition may 
 you ere long be her equal. 
 
 Ambitious, as you at present are, Sir, of fa- 
 shionable profligacy, you were not always so. In 
 your boyish years, I remember, you bade fair for 
 goodness and wisdom : Personal accomplishments 
 seemed to embellish mental attainments ; but the 
 influence of bad company, upon a latent vicious 
 disposition, changed your conduct, and in a 
 short time established your character. 
 
 When I review the arts which you practised 
 to accomplish the ruin of that beauteous unfor- 
 tunate who has just left the world, I know not 
 whether to be most indignant against your pro- 
 fligacy, or the deep disingenuity which marked 
 every step of your conduct. In reputation and 
 station, you knew her family to be equal to your 
 own. You knew that this daughter's education 
 was the chief pleasure of her parents' declining 
 days. Her mind was carefully instructed in
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 301 
 
 every worthy sentiment ; and it was a pleasing 
 reflection to fond parents, that her early conduct 
 spoke her to be amiable, ingenuous, and sensible. 
 
 There is unhappily in female youth a period 
 when sensibility of soul makes them susceptible 
 of impression, and when experience only can 
 guide, and teach them what is right. Her few 
 years made her ignorant of that experience, and 
 unsuspicious parents saw not your invidious de- 
 signs. It was this period you chose for your 
 villany. You interposed ere the laws of right 
 and wrong, and the nice boundaries of virtue 
 and prudence, were established. You laid your 
 plans with subtlety, and concealed them with 
 hypocrisy. 
 
 Was there never a time when your heart 
 checked you ? Could neither youth, beauty, nor 
 innocence find a momentary friend in your 
 thoughts ? Did you never dread the resentment 
 of her friends, and the contempt of the world ? 
 Were your dishonourable vices only permanent, 
 and your good resolutions transitory ? Your 
 conduct has shewn that they were. To feel 
 " another's woe," was no lesson of yours. Your 
 object was the gratification of lawless passion, 
 and you chose to forget that your duty was to 
 restrain passion by reason, character, humanity, 
 and conscience.
 
 302 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 You knew that this daughter was the only one 
 of a numerous family. She was the sole comfort 
 of her aged parents ; and the anxious solicitude 
 for her happiness, to them made life desirable. 
 The horrors of their situation are not to be de- 
 scribed; and, in all probability, before this 
 reaches you, they are incapable of reproach for 
 your baseness. 
 
 Think on this mournful calamity, and let it 
 lead you to penitence and amendment Pensive 
 moments will come to make you wretched The 
 days of seeming prosperity will wear to an end 
 A cloud of misery hangs over your head to dark- 
 en the gloomy days of remorse ; and, when those 
 come, you will be the first to pronounce that you 
 are unfit to live and the last to think that you 
 are ready to die. 
 
 C. C. 
 
 Sir, Nov. 30. 1789. 
 
 At an early period of life I settled on a pater- 
 nal farm, and have seldom made excursions be- 
 yond my own parish. My independence, small 
 as it is, has procured me the appellation of Es- 
 quire from some who wish to flatter my vanity, 
 and raise ideas of my own consequence ; a title
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 303 
 
 (by the way) which nothing, in these days of 
 taxation, but a strict attention to the duties of a 
 farmer, and domestic economy, could have en- 
 abled me to support so long. I say this for the 
 sake of some of my neighbours, who seem to 
 think attention and economy not at all necessary 
 for one who has the appellation of a gentleman. 
 I wish they may attend to this friendly hint, be- 
 fore they are unsquired for ever, or if they should 
 continue to be called gentlemen, it will only be 
 in jest. The pride of a quondam gentleman re- 
 duced to poverty by his extravagance and vices, 
 and claiming importance from his plea of blood, 
 is of all vanities the most silly and contemptible. 
 It is generally received by the world with a sneer. 
 
 Even the lineal representative of the proud 
 blood of Umfreville, we were informed, expired 
 a few days ago in a poor's-house.* What a les- 
 son of humility to the weak assuming pride of 
 man ! 
 
 We are all the mere dependent craving credi- 
 tors of nature, and were she to deny the supplies 
 of vegetation to this globe even for one year, the 
 whole race of men and animals would be extir- 
 pated He who raises one blade of grass where 
 none grew before, is of more use to mankind 
 than all the gay sons arid daughters of folly. 
 
 * Edinburgh Evening Courant, Nov. 1789.
 
 304 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 But, to be profligate and dissipated, I perceive, 
 is by many considered as a mark to distinguish 
 them as fashionable gentlemen. 
 
 Sequestered from the gay and fashionable 
 scenes of the world, it is not to be wondered at 
 that I should be ignorant of those forms of beha- 
 viour, and modes of expression, which prevail 
 in the circle to which I have been so long a 
 stranger. 
 
 I was called to town on express business about 
 the time of your last races. In many companies 
 I heard of noble fellows and d rid clever fel- 
 lows, terms which excited my curiosity, but 
 when I came into company with them, I found 
 in general they were either abandoned rakes 
 infidel witlings or what in the country we should 
 call professed blackguards. 
 
 Honest souls I found to be those animals who 
 consider drinking as the great end of their ex- 
 istence. 
 
 A fine preacher, one who deals in luminous 
 words, but who says nothing to instruct the seri- 
 ous, or reclaim the unthinking. 
 
 A good man, in the military, political, mer- 
 cantile, and moral sense of the words, was totally 
 different, and many were called good men, with- 
 out any title to the moral sense of the term. 
 
 A man of fashion I had always considered as
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 305 
 
 a pattern of dignity of manners, and propriety 
 of conduct. But no such thing. It means one 
 who squanders his time and money in frippery, 
 folly, and absurdity ; who frequents the tavern, 
 and playhouse when the play is near done; who 
 changes the dress of his hair, and the shape of 
 his coat, every week, as versatile fashion varies. 
 
 A man that has no soul, I found to be one who 
 observes the laws of God is temperate, just, and 
 attentive to the useful employment of time. 
 
 A man that has a soul one who gallops in 
 the career of vice, folly, and extravagance of 
 every kind who has no principle of action but 
 sensuality no pursuit but self-indulgence and 
 vanity. 
 
 To live in style is to carry every fashionable 
 folly to the extreme ; to sport a fine carriage, 
 with footmen dressed like Harlequins ; to be 
 busily idle in the pursuit of show, dress, the 
 luxury of the table, and public and private 
 amusements ; in short, to be as unthinking and 
 irrational as possible to get into debt and at 
 last to die like a dog. 
 
 Now, Sir, as that is not my style, I am hurry- 
 ing as fast as possible to the country, where 
 words and characters retain their original mean- 
 ing. T go to attend to the affairs of my farm 
 and my family ; to converse at leisure hours 
 with some select friends, among whom I reckon
 
 306 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 the worthy clergyman of my parish. To them 
 my house is always open, and in such society I 
 envy not the gay fashionable life of your splen- 
 did city. 
 
 There, from ways of men laid safe ashore, 
 We smile to hear the distant tempest roar. 
 There, bless'd with health, with folly unperplex'd, 
 This life we relish, and ensure the next. 
 
 I am, &c. 
 Peter Peascod, of Thorny Braes. 
 Edin, Nov. SO. 1789. 
 
 = 
 
 Sir, Edin. May 24. 1790. 
 
 A few evenings ago I happened to sup at a 
 friend's house, where the conversation turned 
 upon duelling, a subject which has much en- 
 grossed the attention for some time past.* In 
 the course of the conversation, a gentleman gave 
 an account of a very extraordinary duel, which 
 happened a few years since, and which, as it ex- 
 hibited a curious contrast of character in the par- 
 ties concerned, I think should be given to the 
 public. I shall give it you as nearly as I can 
 
 recollect it, 1 am, &c. 
 
 Veridicus. 
 
 ,uJ ' 
 
 * The fatal duel between Mr Macrae and Sir George Ram- 
 say had taken place a little time before.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 307 
 
 Captain Wildair had been early introduced 
 into life had been in Germany in the former 
 war, had witnessed some alarms on the coast of 
 France, and visited the West Indies in his mili- 
 tary capacity. Nature had formed him tall and 
 robust, and to these natural endowments, he 
 thought his profession required of him to look 
 fierce, and to talk as a man of matchless intre- 
 pidity ; and he was happily furnished with an 
 uncommon share of assurance and arrogance for 
 supporting the character which he wished to as- 
 sume. When he met with persons of gentleness 
 and modesty, he never failed to treat them with pe- 
 tulance, or insolent contempt. He was specious 
 in conversation ; and though he had read little, 
 and thought less, yet he passed in mixed com- 
 pany as a man of more than ordinary talents. 
 
 He possessed a considerable share of address, 
 and no man talked in higher terms of his sense 
 of honour, and the principles of a gentleman ; 
 but his mind was a stranger to the ties of moral 
 obligation, and his heart to the feelings of hu- 
 manity and benevolence. To be a proficient in 
 fashionable vices to pay tavern bills and game 
 debts (when he could not help it), with a seem- 
 ing indifference, were with him the essential 
 qualifications of a gentleman. His system of 
 $avoir vivre was like that of Lord Chesterfield,
 
 308 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 to pass a counter for sterling money, or to 
 appear what he was not, to serve his own pur- 
 poses. He was fond of cards, but had fre- 
 quent occasions to make apologies for mistakes, 
 though it is not known that his hand was ever 
 pinned to the table. His athletic appearance, 
 and the renown of his gallantries, it is said, did 
 more in promoting his pecuniary interest than 
 his military services had done for his promotion 
 in the army. He could talk of righting duels, 
 with as much unconcern as people generally 
 talk of playing at draughts or backgammon. 
 
 In the zenith of his bonne fortune in London, 
 he kept or rather a carriage was kept for him. 
 He availed himself of his situation, and appear- 
 ed at all the fashionable clubs at the west end of 
 the town. He happened one day to dine with a 
 party at the British Coffee-house, where a Mr 
 Manly, lately arrived from Jamaica, was pre- 
 sent. 
 
 Unlike the climate he had left, there was no 
 violent heat in the temperature of Mr Manly's 
 mind. It was all mildness and gentleness, and 
 he possessed an uncommon share of the " milk 
 of human kindness." He never had recourse 
 to deception in his intercourse with mankind, 
 and his politeness flowed from the genuine dic- 
 tates of a benevolent heart. He considered
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 309 
 
 that the merit of actions depended on the mo- 
 tives which prompted them ; and he believed 
 every man honest till he found him a knave. He 
 was the very kind of man the Captain liked to 
 trample on, and he failed not to do it. After 
 dinner, much attention was paid to Mr Manly, 
 and many inquiries made concerning Jamaica. 
 The Captain found himself not of that import- 
 ance which he wished to be held in, and with a 
 pardon me, Sir, I have been in Jamaica as well 
 as you, he told Mr Manly, what he said was not 
 so. This was received with great good nature ; 
 but in the course of the inquiries by the com- 
 pany, the Captain contradicted Mr Manly on 
 every point, and at last gave him the lie direct. 
 
 Impmdence and violence will often brow-beat 
 modesty and worth, whose only shelter on such 
 occasions is in silence or retirement. Mr Man- 
 ly sunk silent and confounded. The Cap- 
 tain crested and triumphed talked loud, and 
 looked consequential. The company, uneasy 
 at what had passed, changed the conversation ; 
 and when they were closely engaged, Mr Man- 
 ly took occasion to whisper in the Captain's ear, 
 that he would call on him early the next morn- 
 ing. The Captain gave a slight bow of affected 
 politeness, and the general conversation went 
 on. The Captain continued the hero of the
 
 310 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 afternoon fought over his battles and his duels 
 boasted of the many fine girls he had seduced, 
 and the arts he had used to cheat unsuspecting 
 parents, &c. &c. till the hour of the opera arriv- 
 ed, and his carriage was announced. He soon 
 after rose from table to put on his sword, which 
 stood in the corner ; and approaching the com- 
 pany, he drew it from the scabbard. " There, 
 says he, Gentlemen, is a bit of the best tempered 
 steel in Europe. With that sword I have fought 
 nine duels, and each time it was through the 
 body of my antagonist." He cast a side glance 
 at Mr Manly, whose eyes were fixed on the 
 ground ; and then, with an air of affected indif- 
 ference, wished the company good night. The 
 waiters, who had heard of his killing nine people 
 in duels, bustled with uncommon activity to 
 make way for the Captain, while he d n'd them 
 for lazy inattentive scoundrels. 
 
 Mr Manly failed not to call upon Captain 
 Wildair early the next morning, with his pistols 
 in his pocket. As he approached the house, he 
 perceived a footman eyeing him from a side 
 window. After repeated knocking, the door 
 was opened, and Mr Manly demanded to speak 
 immediately with Captain Wildair. The foot- 
 man answered, that his master could not be dis- 
 turbed at so early an hour j that he had been
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 311 
 
 late out at a card party, and it was more than 
 his place was worth to call the Captain at that 
 time. Mr Manly replied, that he must then 
 call the Captain himself, his business was ex- 
 press, and would admit of no delay. He was 
 then shown into a parlour by the footman, mut- 
 tering. He had taken many turns through the 
 room, when he heard the Captain's voice from 
 the first floor, calling to his servant below to in- 
 form the gentleman that he would be with him 
 presently, and if there were no books in the 
 parlour, to go to the library and fetch some for 
 the gentleman's amusement. This induced Mr 
 Manly to look at some books which lay on the 
 chimney-piece. The first he opened was a new 
 bound copy of Sherlock on Death. He laid it 
 down, and took the next, which was a Prayer- 
 Book, with a mark at the funeral service. Not 
 relishing these books, which had been provided 
 for his amusement, he tried a third. It was 
 Ranby on Gun-Shot Wounds ; and the only 
 remaining one being looked into, it proved to be 
 Collier on the Unlawfulness of Duelling. Not 
 wishing to indulge himself in such speculations, 
 he pursued his own thoughts. In somewhat 
 more than half an hour the Captain entered, in 
 his night gown and slippers, with a pair of pis- 
 tols in his hand. With a slight bow, and fashion-
 
 312 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 able nonchalance, he said: Your servant, Sir ; 
 you see I understand the purport of your call 
 (laying the pistols on the table). There they 
 are, Sir, hair trigger'd, made by Wogden, under 
 my own directions, and surer things never were 
 snapped. Sir, said Mr Manly, you have rightly 
 interpreted my call ; it is to demand satisfaction 
 for your insolent treatment of me yesterday. 
 O ! my dear Sir, replied the Captain (button- 
 ing the knee of his breeches), don't disturb 
 yourself, you shall have it. Here, John, bring 
 me the new cast balls, the glazed powder, and 
 other materials I use upon such occasions. 
 Pray, Mr Manly, may I ask you how many 
 affairs of honour you have had in your life ? Sir, 
 replied Mr Manly, I know not what you call 
 honour. I think it dishonourable to insult or 
 injure any man, and where no such thing is 
 meant, a man of honour will with candour ac- 
 knowledge the mistake ; but your behaviour was 
 that of marked and continued insolence, and it 
 obliges me to call out a person, for the first time 
 in my life. These matters are as gentlemen may 
 
 feel, said the Captain. And so this is the 
 
 first time you have tried the field, Mr Manly ! 
 Believe me, when you have been there as often 
 as I have, you'll think nothing of it, Sir. At this 
 time John arrived with the new cast balls, glazed
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 313 
 
 powder, and some pieces of greased linen cloth. 
 There, says the Captain, applying one of the 
 balls to the muzzle of Wogden's pistol, you see, 
 Sir, there can be no windage here, it is this 
 makes fire-arms certain. Do you know, Sir, I 
 can hit the ace of clubs five times in six with 
 these little fellows, in any manner of charging ; 
 and I never knew this powder once misgive iu 
 my life. 
 
 Mr Manly urged their departure. The Cap- 
 tain told John he should breakfast at the Coffee- 
 house would be home to dress at five, and 
 
 would want the carriage at Lord B *s at 
 
 three next morning. He then left the house, 
 humming the tune of the British Grenadiers, 
 and they took a hackney-coach to Hyde Park. 
 As they drove along the streets, the Captain re- 
 marked on the wonderful improvements of late 
 years The opening to the Green Park was 
 beautiful, and the distant view of Westminster 
 Abbey was sublime ! 
 
 When they entered Hyde Park, the Captain 
 asked Mr Manly what distance he chose to 
 fight at ? He was answered, At the usual dis- 
 tance. What, twelve paces ! exclaimed the Cap- 
 tain No, Sir, I am more of a man of honour 
 than to take such an advantage Distance to 
 me, with these hair-trigger'd pistols, is of little
 
 314 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 consequence; but it is a material affair for you 
 the first time of your being on the field, and 
 with such arras We shall fire at three paces, 
 Sir, and then you may have some chance 
 My honour tells me it is my duty to propose 
 this ; for, at twelve paces, I could pick a button 
 from your waistcoat, or touch any rib of your 
 side but, with your inexperience and arms, I 
 should be in perfect safety. Let it be three, or 
 don't fight, Mr Manly I may afterwards be 
 blamed for not giving a fair chance, as I am 
 well known in the field of honour. 
 
 When they reached the ground, they found 
 two gentlemen awaiting them, who had been of 
 the company the day before. The Captain in- 
 sisted on fighting at three paces, from the mo- 
 tive of fairness and honour. Mr Manly in a 
 firm tone, desired he would take his distance at 
 twelve paces, as had been decided. The Cap- 
 tain then stept off twelve paces, and said he 
 would show him how impracticable it was to 
 touch him; and, turning round en militaire, he 
 said, Mr Manly, are you resolved to go on 
 with this business ? Certainly, Sir, replied Mr 
 Manly, keep your ground, and let it be decid- 
 ed instantly. 
 
 The Captain inclining his head to one side, 
 and affecting a smile, threw away his hair-trig-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 315 
 
 ger'd pistol, and clasping his hands together, 
 exclaimed, God forbid that I should raise my 
 arm against so noble a fellow ! Then, walking 
 quickly up to Mr Manly, he said, Sir, I have 
 tried your courage, and have found you a man 
 of honour. What is this to the purpose, said 
 Mr Manly, who is he that doubted it ? Sir, if 
 you mean not to resume your pistol and your 
 ground, you must beg pardon of me in the com- 
 pany before whom you gave the offence. Yes, 
 Sir, before the whole world, answered the Cap- 
 tain, rather than injure such a man as you are ! 
 I will tell them what a man I have found, and 
 how much I esteem him. 
 
 Sir, said Mr Manly, I now perceive your 
 train of artifice, and I despise it. I have no de- 
 sire to hurt any man, or to hazard the life even 
 of one who does not deserve the name. Learn 
 to act from principles becoming a man, and at- 
 tempt not to gain reputation by appearing what 
 you are not. Injure not the rights of others, 
 nor encroach on that civility which is due to 
 every person, who does not offend against the 
 laws of virtue and good breeding. He only is 
 a gentleman who acts from motives of probity 
 and good will to mankind ; and the man who 
 does so, will never have occasion to fight a duel. 
 Remember your engagement, and I will not
 
 316 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 hurt your feelings, by mentioning the conse- 
 quences of a failure. 
 
 Captain Wildair met the company at the ap- 
 pointed time, acknowledged his fault, and beg- 
 ged pardon of Mr Manly. The conversation 
 that day took a very different turn from that of 
 the former meeting. The Captain did not en- 
 tertain them with any more accounts of his 
 duels, or exploits of his gallantry. He was 
 humble, attentive, and polite, while he remain- 
 ed, but sought an early opportunity of retiring 
 on particular business, and never again joined 
 that company. 
 
 PROLOGUE 
 
 Spoken by Mr Digges, the night Houstoun Stew- 
 art Nicolson, Jisq* first appeared on the Edin- 
 burgh Theatre. He performed the character 
 of Richard III. for the purpose of building a 
 Bridge over the river Carron. 
 
 Ere the dread curtain rise that brings in sight 
 The bold adventurous Quixote of the night, 
 May I, an humble veteran, appear, 
 Just to announce our generous Volunteer ?
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 317 
 
 Oft has his genius cried " Let Fear recede, 
 By soft-ey'd, Pity's melting look ; proceed : 
 Though Custom mourn her violated laws, 
 Yet still your purpose must protect your cause : 
 Let not your young blood freeze with dire despair, 
 But cover well with wig your bristling hair !" 
 
 From Carron's winding banks he comes ! the stream 
 Flows bright recorded by dramatic fame : 
 Raptur'd he hopes this liberal night may save 
 Some future Douglas from the swelling wave. 
 
 But I detain your wishes as they rise, 
 And the keen glance darts quick from Beauty's eyes : 
 1 go, accuse me not of partial dealing, 
 If I for bridges * have a fellow-feeling. 
 
 ON SEEING A CAPTAIN OF FENCIBLES QUIT THE HEAD OF 
 HIS COMPANY, AND GO INTO A HACKNEY-COACH. 
 
 Bonduca rush'd naked of old to the war, 
 And swept down whole ranks with the scythes of her car ; 
 Our moderns, alas ! are not quite so robust, 
 But shrink from the sun, and th^ wind, and the dust, 
 
 * The North Bridge of Edinburgh, the principal communi- 
 cation to the Playhouse, was at this time supposed to be in 
 danger of falling.
 
 318 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 And, firmly resolv'd to sleep sound as a roach, 
 
 Quit the old British car for John Hay's hackney-coach. 
 
 Let fair Scotia hence learn a defence more becoming, 
 Discharge all her men, trust to fencible women : 
 What warrior so brave can resist their alarms ? 
 What heart but must tremble when press'd by their 
 arms ? 
 
 TO THE AUTHOR OF THE ESSAY ON NOTHING, WHO WAS 
 REMARKABLY THIN AND SLENDER. 
 
 To discern where the force of their genius lies, 
 Often puzzles the witty, and sometimes the wise ; 
 Your discernment in this, all true critics must find, 
 Since the subject so well suits your body and mind. 
 
 TO A GENTLEMAN WHO COMPLAINED OF HAVING LOST HIS 
 GOLD WATCH. 
 
 Fret not, my friend, or peevish say 
 
 Your fate is worse than common ; 
 For Gold takes wings and flies away, 
 
 And Time will stay for no man.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 319 
 
 
 
 [Logan's Poems, when first published, were most 
 extravagantly praised in the newspapers by 
 some of his friends, and particularly " The 
 Ode to Women," which occasioned the fol- 
 lowing criticism.] 
 
 TO THE PRINTER 
 
 OF THE 
 
 EDINBURGH EVENING COURANT. 
 
 Sir, 
 I was induced by an excellent criticism from 
 a Stirlingshire correspondent, in your paper late- 
 ly, to purchase the poems he so warmly recom- 
 mends. This critic justly condemns puffing pa- 
 ragraphs ; but when you meet with a piece of 
 genuine manly criticism, such as your corre- 
 spondent's, it indeed merits attention, and should 
 be given to the public. He does not deal in 
 general applause (and as for censure there was 
 no room for it), but he judiciously points out 
 the pieces which are to be admired, and pro- 
 nounces the whole to be " irresistible to every 
 person in whom the world has left any remains 
 of natural sentiments." It is evident that this 
 critic writes impartially, and meant not to make
 
 320 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 a puff to increase the sale of the book ; for he 
 does not so much as expect that the ladies will 
 look at it in the play week, but desires them 
 only to carry it to the country, to peruse at lei- 
 sure, and this indeed it will require to discover 
 its beauties. I was too impatient to wait this 
 period, and, in spite of the charms of the ad- 
 mirable performers at the theatre, I staid at 
 home one evening to feast on these delightful 
 poems. I wished your correspondent had been 
 more minute, and had marked the peculiar and 
 striking beauties as he went along. I find my- 
 self irresistibly led to do this, which is a proof 
 that I yet retain some remains of natural senti- 
 ments j and, by your indulgence, Sir, I would 
 wish to have them better known ; and who 
 knows but I may have the future assistance of 
 your Stirlingshire critic to bring forward beau- 
 ties which I may overlook, as well as help me 
 to explain difficulties which I cannot solve. 
 
 The " Ode to the Cuckow" is so well known 
 to every person who has seen poor Michael 
 Bruce's poems, long since published, that it 
 would be tiresome to make any remarks on it 
 here. I hastened with avidity to the " Ode to 
 Women," with which your critic is so justly 
 enamoured, and found it indeed an unrivalled 
 performance. There is great knowledge of the
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 30,1 
 
 female character, delicacy, and taste, discovered 
 in that poem, and at the same time no contemp- 
 tible acquaintance with the art of war. Some 
 beauties of these kinds I shall endeavour to point 
 out, which may not perhaps have been observed. 
 The poem begins thus : 
 
 Ye Virgins ! fond to be admir'd, 
 With mighty rage of conquest fir'd 
 And universal sway ; 
 
 I was at a loss, at first, Mr Printer, to guess 
 what class of virgins was here addressed. We 
 know that all virgins are fond to be admired, 
 but my difficulty arose from the mighty rage. 
 We have often heard of antiquated virgins being 
 fired with mighty rage, at not being admired, 
 and of their abusing the men as insensible brutes ; 
 but I never before heard of young virgins mak- 
 ing mighty rage an engine of attraction to in- 
 crease their admirers : Yet the lines that follow 
 clearly prove that it is the young class that is 
 addressed : 
 
 Who heave th' uncover'd bosom high, 
 And roll a fond inviting eye 
 On all the circle gay. 
 
 It is clear, from these lines, that they must be 
 young buxom dames, or what the French term
 
 322 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 en bon point, who heave the uncovered bosom 
 high; for the antiquated virgins have it not in 
 their power to appear so plump, unless they use 
 the art of Swift's Corinna. The only way to 
 solve this difficulty then is, to attribute the pic- 
 ture to modern manners. In my young days, 
 Mr Printer, the gentle winning graces were the 
 female artillery used ; but, indeed, there is a la- 
 mentable change in female manners; for the 
 young damsels now-a-days arejired with mighty 
 
 rage, and heave th' uncover d bosom high 
 
 The poet proceeds, 
 
 You miss the fine and secret art 
 To win the castle of the heart, 
 For which you all contend. 
 
 Fine is here used, I suppose, for the French 
 word finesse. The allusion of the heart to a 
 castle is beautiful. It is meant here the inner 
 strong-hold ; for the author, like an able gene- 
 ral, leaves not the outer passages unguarded. 
 In the fourth stanza, we meet with these lines : 
 
 You marshal, brilliant from the box, 
 Fans, feathers, diamonds, castled locks, 
 Your magazine of arms. 
 
 Here we have them in battle array, with all 
 their modern artillery. Nothing could be hap-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 323 
 
 pier than the phrase castled locks; for it de- 
 scribes, in a short and striking manner, the 
 modern female headdress.* It is not said 
 towering locks, for that gives only an idea of 
 height; and though applicable in that respect, 
 yet the height is not lost by using the word 
 castled, which conveys to the mind the idea both 
 of strength and height. And are not the ladies' 
 locks now-a-days the exact models of carronades 
 (the late invented guns), ranged tier over tier, as 
 if to defend to the last extremity the demi-lunar 
 battery of the high bosom ? The picture, indeed, 
 might have been more complete, had the author 
 gone a little higher, and taken notice of the 
 cushion and hair-pins, which have so apt a re- 
 semblance to an abattis and chevaux-defrize : 
 
 Sed omnia non possumus omnes. 
 
 It is hard to say what sort of box is meant, from 
 which they marshal with all their magazine of 
 arms. There are many sorts of boxes made use 
 of by ladies ; and from which of them they ap- 
 pear most like a centinel, I must allow every one 
 to interpret for himself. 
 
 * It was the fashion at this time for the ladies to have rows 
 of large, round, stiff curls, on each side of the face.
 
 324 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 In place of 
 
 Fans, feathers, diamonds, castled locks, 
 
 perhaps it would have been more natural to have 
 said, 
 
 Fans, feathers, patches, hats, and cloaks, 
 
 as they were going out marshalled ; for diamonds 
 are rather a rare commodity. 
 The author proceeds, 
 
 But 'tis the sweet sequester'd walk, 
 The whisp'ring hour, the tender talk, 
 That gives your genuine charms 
 
 This is the ambuscade. And surely, if a se- 
 questered walk, a whispering hour, and tender 
 talk, can give genuine charms, no poor lass need 
 want them. 
 
 The poem goes on 
 
 The nymph -like robe, the natural grace, 
 The smile, the native of the face, 
 Refinement without art. 
 
 What sort of a robe this is, called the nymph- 
 like robe, I do not know ; but no doubt the 
 mantuamakers are well acquainted with it, and 
 I hope to see all our sweet creatures dressed in
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 325 
 
 it, as it seems to be of so much importance- 
 Then 
 
 The smile, the native of the face. 
 
 Does it not strike one, that there are many other 
 natives of the face besides the smile, and that 
 there are many faces where the smile is not a 
 native ? One would imagine, from this line, that 
 the face was like an uninhabited island, where 
 the smile had been thrown by accident, and was 
 the only survivor. God knows, I have seen 
 many a face where the smile was an utter stran- 
 ger, and yet not for want of natives. After 
 enumerating many other beauties with which 
 females should be attired, the author sums up 
 the whole with useful reflections from what had 
 been said : 
 
 Your beauties these, with these you shine, 
 And reign on high, by right divine, 
 The sov'reigns of the world. 
 
 Here the divine right of sovereigns is clearly 
 established ! their absolute, hereditary, indefea- 
 sible right j and there remains with me but 
 one difficulty, viz. how they come to reign on 
 high ? If it had been thus, 
 
 And reign by height, and right divine,
 
 3%6 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 I would have understood it to have meant the 
 unparalleled height of the ladies' heads, by 
 which they claim and hold their superiority : 
 But when they are said to " reign on high,** a 
 phrase only to be found in the Psalms of David, 
 King of Israel, when surely the women knew 
 nothing about the cushion and hair-pins, and 
 consequently can have no reference to their 
 tops, I confess myself totally at a loss to explain 
 the passage. I hope your Stirlingshire friend 
 will lend his assistance here, as he seems to un- 
 derstand and relish so highly everything in the 
 volume. 
 
 The next lines are, 
 
 Then to your court the nations flow, 
 The Muse with flow'rs the path will slrow 
 Where Venus' car is hurl'd. 
 
 You'll observe, after they are sovereigns of the 
 world, they very properly hold a court, as all 
 sovereigns do. It is also to be observed, that 
 there are several sovereigns in this same court, 
 making as it were a female oligarchy. This is a 
 species of government we have never known 
 below, without rebellion and pulling of caps ; 
 and therefore it appears sensible in the author to 
 place it on high, or out of reach. Now, to this 
 court all the nations are to flow. A pretty nu-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 327 
 
 merous company, it must needs be allowed, and 
 the ladies of the court will have their heartsful 
 of visitors. While the nations are flowing, the 
 muse is to strew flowers on that part of the road 
 where Venus's car, or cart, is to be hurled ; but 
 which of the nine is to officiate that day as 
 flower-girl, we are not told. 
 
 The idea of Venus's car hurling is perfectly 
 suited to this country. An Englishman cannot 
 relish the intrinsic beauty of this line, 
 
 Where Venus' car is hurl'd. 
 
 By the word hurl an Englishman understands to 
 throw violently, and he would think that Madam 
 Venus had met with a dreadful overturn in her 
 car, and that the Muse had been making a bed 
 to save her fall. But no such thing ; for here 
 we have a native Scots idea, and a more natural 
 one too, of the hurling of a coal cart over a 
 rough causeway ; a familiar enough occurrence 
 about this place. Some people may allege, that 
 hurling a cart is an office ill suited to tender 
 turtle doves, which are said to draw Venus's car ; 
 but may we not suppose them (by licenlia po- 
 etical strong able-bodied pigeons, and endowed 
 with supernatural powers, to enable them to 
 hurl any car over the roughest road in the 
 country. But instead of hurling to court, we
 
 328 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 find, in the next stanza but one, this same car 
 among the stars, sliding soft from the circlet of 
 her star / 
 
 Soft from the circlet of her star 
 The tender turtles draw the car 
 Of Venus and of Love. 
 
 There, indeed, the pigeons will be more in their 
 element, and may fly with their car, if the god- 
 dess had interest enough to get the power of 
 gravity suspended. This would certainly suit 
 them better than hurling it. 
 
 In short, the whole assemblage, it must be 
 allowed, is an excellent picture of a hurly-burly ', 
 and indeed draws a peculiar beauty from that 
 very circumstance. 
 
 Humano capiti cervicem pictor equinam 
 Jungere si velit, risum teneatis amici ? 
 
 I am afraid, Sir, I have now encroached too 
 much on your good nature, but the public have 
 been so repeatedly called upon to take notice of 
 the uncommon merit of these poems, and of 
 this " Ocie to Women" in particular, that I could 
 not withhold my mite of admiration. Did your 
 limit allow, I could point out many more striking 
 beauties in this Ode, and others of the collection. 
 I am much obliged to your Stirlingshire friend
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 329 
 
 for having forced me to buy the book by his im- 
 partial and candid account of it; and I will 
 venture to say, that no book whatever evinces 
 more clearly, that, in poetry, good taste is inse- 
 parable from good sense. 
 
 I am, Sir, your's, &c. 
 
 Peter Paragraph. 
 
 ON MR HENDERSON S MANNER OF PLAYING THE 
 CHARACTER OF HAMLET. 
 
 Mr Henderson made his first appearance on 
 the Edinburgh theatre in August 1784, in the 
 character of Hamlet. This gentleman is un- 
 doubtedly one of the most correct actors on the 
 stage. His deportment is easy and unaffected; 
 his voice, when not carried too high, pleasing 
 and comprehensive ; and his action is the result 
 of good sense, taste, and a perfect knowledge of 
 his author. To speak comparatively, Digges's 
 figure was better, and his voice perhaps more 
 mellow and powerful ; but Digges played with 
 little judgment, was very deficient in taste, and 
 often had no conception of what he spoke. In 
 judgment and taste Mr Henderson is eminent. 
 He understands perfectly the character he plays,
 
 330 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 and never fails to give the just meaning of his 
 author ; and this, in so difficult and various a 
 character as Hamlet, required the powers of a 
 master. He avoids that unnatural violence and 
 rant which is so often used in the part, and which 
 seldom fails to attract the attention of the vulgar, 
 but it is certainly more characteristic of the 
 blustering player, than the Prince of Denmark. 
 From what we have seen, we are of opinion that 
 the admirers of Shakespeare, who wish to un- 
 derstand perfectly their favourite author, should 
 attend Mr Henderson ; in his mouth no passage 
 seems perplexed, and he is a comment at once 
 pleasing and instructive. 
 
 No character of our great poet has so much 
 exercised the skill of critics as that of Hamlet, 
 or been found more difficult to explain. Mr 
 Henderson's manner of playing it, which we 
 will say was the most pleasing and intelligible 
 we ever beheld, strongly proved the justness of 
 the criticism given in the Mirror, Nos. 99, and 
 100. The author of that criticism says, the basis 
 of Hamlet's character seems to be an extreme 
 sensibility of mind, apt to be strongly impressed 
 by its situation, and overpowered by the feelings 
 which that situation excites. The gaiety, how- 
 ever, and playfulness of deportment and conver- 
 sation, which Hamlet sometimes assumes, seems
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 331 
 
 contradictory to the general tone of melancholy 
 in the character. But that sort of melancholy, 
 which is the most genuine as well as the most 
 amiable of any, arising neither from sourness of 
 temper, nor prompted by accidental chagrin, 
 but the effect of delicate sensibility, impressed 
 with a sense of sorrow, will often be found indulg- 
 ing itself in a sportfulness of external behaviour, 
 amidst the pressure of a sad, or even anguish of 
 a broken heart. 
 
 The melancholy man feels in himself a sort of 
 double person ; one which looks not forth into 
 the world, nor takes concern in vulgar objects 
 or frivolous pursuits ; another which he lends, 
 as it were, to ordinary men, which can accom- 
 modate itself to their tempers and manners, with- 
 out feeling any degradation from indulging in a 
 smile with the cheerful, and a laugh with the 
 giddy. 
 
 This is unquestionably the key to the character 
 of Hamlet, and such Mr Henderson exhibited it 
 in a wonderfully correct manner. Perhaps he 
 was sometimes too rapid, and, in one or two in- 
 stances, where pause and reflection were mate- 
 rial, he hurried too much. 
 
 In many points he played the character in a 
 new and an original manner, and showed that he 
 had studied the part with great exactness. In
 
 3S2 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 the celebrated soliloquy, the advice to the play- 
 ers, and the grave diggers' scene, we will venture 
 to say he rivalled Garrick, to whom, in many 
 parts, and in the tones of his voice, he bore a 
 very striking resemblance. 
 
 He wanted support in the other characters of 
 the play. The best actor cannot singly support 
 a play, and the manager should be at pains to 
 procure good performers, and to cast the cha- 
 racters so as to give a decent support. But, as 
 Hamlet says, " Oh there be players, that 
 neither having the accent, nor the gait of Christ- 
 ian, Pagan, nor man, have so strutted and bel- 
 lowed, that I have thought some of nature's 
 journeymen had made men, and not made them 
 well they imitated humanity so abominably." 
 
 FOR THE 
 
 EDINBURGH EVENING COURANT. 
 
 Sir, Edinburgh, Feb. 1. 1786. 
 
 At this season, when there is little to do in the 
 country, I took my wife's advice to pass a few 
 days in the town. The first amusement I
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 335 
 
 thought of was the Playhouse ; and accordingly 
 I directed my steps to it on Saturday, not with- 
 out having almost broken my neck in your new 
 improved street, as it is called. When I got 
 seated in the back row of a box, I found the 
 play was to be Sheridan's Duenna. The com- 
 pany were genteel, the house clean, neat, and 
 well lighted, and the scenery very good. Next 
 as to the performers and conduct of the piece. 
 I mean to say nothing of the absurdity of operas 
 in general ; custom has given them sanction, 
 and we must see them. The performers were 
 strangers to me ; but I will tell you what struck 
 me with regard to them. The lady who played 
 the Duenna was most extravagantly dressed, 
 and through the whole part was outre, and ex- 
 hibited the burlesque more suited for St Bartho- 
 lomew's Fair than for a genteel audience, and 
 was altogether inconsistent with the character. 
 In her first dress, she looked more like a Squaw 
 Indian who had escaped from the scalping knife, 
 than a Duenna of Spain. 
 
 Another lady * played a double part, viz. that 
 of Don Carlos, and Donna Clara; a violation of 
 propriety which nothing but necessity can ex- 
 cuse. This in some measure might be the case, 
 
 * Mrs Iliff.
 
 334 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 as in the part of Don Carlos there are three fine 
 songs, and I understood from the gentleman who 
 sat next to me, that the lady was reckoned the 
 principal singer on this stage. Upon this infor- 
 mation I bent all my attention to her. The ap- 
 pearance in Don Carlos, to be sure, was ludi- 
 crous enough a little short figure in an old 
 masquerade domino with a bushel of curls on 
 the head, which would not allow the hat to go 
 on, so that it lay like a bottle bonnet on a bull's 
 forehead. However, this I easily got over, ex- 
 pecting to be amply rewarded by the fine sing- 
 ing. When Don Carlos came to sing " Had I 
 a heart for falsehood fram'd," to the tune of 
 " Will you go to Flanders/' I heard a hale, clear, 
 powerful voice, but the tune no more like what 
 it should have been than the variations of Dun- 
 can Gray are to Tweed Side. It is a general 
 fault of great performers, to aim at astonishing 
 the audience by N the power of their execution, 
 rather than to please by simplicity. The whole 
 scale of notes is tortured and rumbled about, 
 with sudden starts, high squeaks, long dying 
 shakes, and sudden falls, and all this to shew 
 their powers, without either taste or composition. 
 By this means they often get out of tune, lose 
 sight of the subject, embarrass themselves, and 
 distress the audience. Had the lady kept to the
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 335 
 
 simple melody, with a few chaste graces, she 
 would have performed well, for she has a fine 
 voice, with great compass and command. Her 
 second song, " For sure a pair was never seen," 
 was well sung, by keeping simply to the tune. 
 The lady who played Donna Louisa (Mrs 
 Kemble, I think, was her name) was extremely 
 pleasing in her part. She acted with elegance, 
 simplicity, and ease. Her voice is sweet and 
 melodious, though not powerful ; and she sung 
 with taste. Upon the whole, I was very toler- 
 ably amused, and shall attend the theatre every 
 evening I can during my stay in town. 
 
 I cannot conclude without observing how 
 much matters are changed since I was a young 
 fellow, and used to attend theatrical representa- 
 tions. A parcel of beardless, witless boys, from 
 what I saw last night, seem to assume to them- 
 selves the privilege of being dictators of public 
 taste. They applauded by loud clapping of 
 hands, where they ought to have been silent- 
 and the galleries, always ready to join in an up- 
 roar, followed the example, while the company 
 in the pit and boxes stared with astonishment 
 and pity. Young people at their age, in my 
 time, were modest and diffident. The impu- 
 dence of some of the school-boys, with their 
 lank hair over their shoulders, to me was mar-
 
 336 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 vellous indeed! Several of them, with great ef- 
 frontery, put on the broad cock of their hats be- 
 fore, and boldly marched up to the side boxes, 
 where the poor wretched creatures, the girls of 
 the town (as I was told) were sitting, with a 
 mother bawd at their head, like the mistress of 
 a boarding-school ; the young misses below 
 looking up to the young masters, their dancing- 
 school companions, and giggling at the frolic. 
 
 Had one of my sons done so, I would have 
 whipped him severely, or sent him to the sea as 
 a never-do-well. 
 
 As my friends in the country read your paper, 
 your inserting this will save me a good deal of 
 writing. 
 
 I am, &c. 
 
 John Peppercorn. 
 
 [It is difficult to account for the versatility of 
 manners and fashions in a country. The 
 weekly dancing assemblies, for many years, 
 were the most fashionable and crowded re- 
 sorts of elegant and polite company. They 
 suddenly became deserted ; which gave occa- 
 sion to the following paper.]
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 337 
 
 FOR THE 
 
 EDINBURGH EVENING COURANT. 
 
 Sir, 
 The rapid decline of dancing in this country, 
 and particularly in the capital, seems a matter of 
 such serious moment to all admirers of the fair sex, 
 that I hope a few observations on the subject, to- 
 gether with a hint tending to a means of reviving a 
 spirit for this elegant art, will prove neither wholly 
 useless nor impertinent. The fact will hardly be 
 disputed : It is too well known, that not above 
 three or four assemblies have been attended this 
 winter ; and of private balls we can, alas ! enu- 
 merate only two. All hopes are now over. The 
 week of preaching, which generally terminates 
 the amusements of this place, is past, and we 
 must now look upon the season as irretrievably 
 closed. Not a marriage, hardly a flirtation has 
 adorned it; bosoms of snow have heaved, and 
 brightest eyes have rolled unheeded. Never in- 
 deed have the ladies been more cruelly mortified. 
 So negligent were the men, that one evening the 
 ladies were driven to the sad resource of footing 
 it with one another. Persons of a saturnine dis- 
 position found ample food for their spleen on this 
 
 y
 
 338 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 occasion ; it appeared in their eyes a heinous of- 
 fence, a violation of propriety, and an outrage 
 against decency. It is notorious that the men 
 have for several years been perversely obstinate 
 in refusing to dance; even the limbs of the law 
 decline the cause, and we no longer hear of 
 an Advocate's ball. It is evident, unless some 
 steps are speedily taken, the art itself must be 
 lost among us. The minuet with its beautiful 
 movement, the cheerful country-dance, the joy- 
 ous jigg, the riotous reel, the boisterous bump- 
 kin, the sprightly strathspey, and the courtly 
 cotillion, will soon fall into everlasting oblivion. 
 We seem scarcely sensible of what we are about 
 to lose: In few situations does a fine woman 
 appear to more advantage than when dancing. 
 The whole person thrown into the most elegant 
 and engaging attitudes is surely a most alluring 
 spectacle; add to this, the complexion glowing 
 with exercise, and the countenance enlivened 
 with smiles and cheerfulness. This matter bears 
 peculiarly hard upon my fair countrywomen, as 
 they are hereby prevented from displaying at- 
 tractions which nature has lavishly bestowed up- 
 on them. Perhaps in the fine texture of skin, 
 and the brightness of bloom, the English ladies 
 may equal ours ; but I aver, that in neatness of 
 ancle, and prettiness of foot, the Scots women
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 339 
 
 reign unrivalled. Sensible of these charms, what- 
 ever taste could invent, or art execute, has been 
 employed in the decoration of the shoe. It has 
 been stretched in the tambour, and has glittered 
 with spangles and embroidery ; every combina- 
 tion of colours has been used that could please or 
 allure the eye; but all in vain; the men have 
 continued motionless, and one would have ima- 
 gined that an hereditary gout, or an universal 
 sprained ancle had overspread the land. Long 
 has it been the object of my thoughts to restore 
 things to their ancient footing, and to bring the 
 light fantastic toe once more into fashion. 1 have 
 at last, after much reflection, hit upon an expe- 
 dient which wears a nattering appearance of 
 success. Desperate diseases, as some persons 
 profound in speculation have remarked, require 
 desperate cures. My cure is indeed a desperate 
 one. My fair tender-hearted readers will, I fear, 
 shudder with horror at the thoughts of it ; in one 
 word, I mean to effectuate my designs by poi- 
 son. The Tarantula is a spider with eight legs, 
 found in certain districts of Italy, whose bite has 
 generally been reckoned mortal, unless proper 
 assistance is procured. The only efficacious re- 
 medies yet found out are music and dancing. At 
 certain notes the patient finds himself seized 
 with an irresistible desire of skipping, leaping.
 
 540 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 and tumbling about with all his might; this 
 brings on a profuse perspiration, highly useful 
 in throwing off the virulence of the poison: 
 However, it has been found impossible to expel 
 it altogether, and a person once bit must be ob- 
 liged to dance at intervals to the end of his days. 
 My scheme is, I fancy, by this time pretty pal- 
 pable : Let a number of public-spirited ladies 
 join in a subscription, for the importation of live 
 Tarantulas into Scotland next summer.* Our 
 winter has been rigorously cold; our ensuing 
 summer will, I hope, be proportionably hot, in 
 which case the bite of the Tarantula will have its 
 usual effects, the poison will begin to work by 
 winter, and I do not despair of seeing a couple 
 of assemblies and three or four balls every week 
 during the season : These meetings have always 
 been reckoned as the great mart for marriage ; 
 there, beauty appears in all its graces and per- 
 fections ; many a partner for a night has turned 
 out a partner for life. Happy, most happy shall 
 I consider myself, if my endeavours conduce to 
 restore these receptacles of useful amusement to 
 
 * One would imagine that the importation of the Tarantulas 
 hadactually taken place. For though the Assembly Rooms 
 are deserted (except on the Master of Ceremonies night,) yet 
 private balls, tavern dances, and oyster-cellar gambols, have 
 never been more frequent, or kept up to later hours.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 341 
 
 their former splendour. Some people, I know, 
 will sneer at this project, and affirm with a silly 
 play upon words, that the whole is a bite ; but 
 I scorn their malice, I am serious, and as long 
 as I wield a pen, or wag a foot, I devote myself 
 to the fair. I remain, Sir, 
 
 Your humble Servant, 
 
 Peter Paspy. 
 
 
 
 
 [) THE PRINTER 
 
 
 1 
 
 OF THE 
 
 
 
 EDINBURGH EVENING COURANT. 
 
 I have a wife, Sir, who has contracted a habit 
 much more pernicious to me than the habit of 
 swearing, which you took notice of in your last 
 paper ; I mean the habit of reading and writing. 
 Let me tell you, Sir, frankly, that for all my 
 aversion to snuff and tobacco, I had rather see 
 her with a pipe and box than a book. From 
 morning to night she sits poring over some book 
 or other, which may be very entertaining for 
 aught I know, as I make it a rule to look into 
 none of them. But of what use is all this to me ? 
 If I set her down to mend my stockings, she is
 
 342 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 reading Locke upon the Human Understand- 
 ing ; and if I wish to have dinner an hour sooner 
 than usual, she will not stir a step if she gets into 
 the middle of a play of Shakespeare. The house 
 is as dirty as a poet's garret (under favour Sir), 
 and my children are worse clad than parish 
 bastards. Tommy's breeches have hung about 
 his heels all this week, owing to the Revolution 
 in the Low Countries ; and Johnson's Lives 
 have nearly starved my youngest daughter at 
 breast. But what is more extraordinary, she 
 seems to read to no purpose, and with no 
 method; for my friend Hildebrand Huggins, 
 who understands such things, tells me that she 
 reads every kind of books, on any subject what- 
 ever ; breakfasts on Tillotson, dines on the 
 Thirty-nine Articles, drinks tea with Roderick 
 Random, and goes to bed with Humphry Clin- 
 ker. She has long had a practice of reading in 
 bed, and while I am sleeping by her side, and 
 dreaming of the pleasures of a gold chain, she is 
 in close contest with some hero or other of 
 romance ! As this is the case, you cannot sup- 
 pose she had any very violent attachment to 
 me ; and although her affections are no longer 
 mine, it is very hard that I can have no satis- 
 faction. I cannot challenge Pope's Homer for 
 seduction, nor state damages against Tom Jones;
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 343 
 
 and yet if a man deprive me of my wife's affec- 
 tions, what is it to me whether he be dead or 
 alive ? Pray, Sir, say a few good things on this 
 subject ; for as my wife reads your paper, who 
 knows but your advice may have a good effect, 
 and work well for, 
 
 Sir, 
 Your's to command, 
 
 Gamaliel Pickle. 
 
 LINES 
 
 Written by an Officer (on his being ordered on foreign 
 service) to a "Lady whose name was Whiting. 
 
 Sure Whiting is no fasting dish, 
 
 Let priests say what they dare j 
 I'd rather eat my little fish, 
 
 Than all their Christmas fare. 
 
 So plump, so white, so clean, so free 
 
 From all that leads to strife j 
 Happy the man, whose lot shall be 
 
 To swim with thee through life. 
 
 But Venus, Goddess of the flood, 
 
 Does all my hopes deny ; 
 And surly Mars cries " D n your blood, 
 
 You've other fish to fry !"
 
 344 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 
 TO THE PRINTER 
 
 OF THE 
 
 EDINBURGH EVENING COURANT. 
 
 December 31, 1792. 
 Well, Sir, is the political atmosphere likely 
 to clear ! I am a plain, quiet man, retired from 
 politics, but I find much amusement in reading 
 the newspapers and pamphlets on both sides of 
 the question at present ; and yet, after all, I see 
 nothing to make a question about. An immense 
 burst of loyalty has broken out from one end of 
 the island to the other, and I wished to gather 
 the sentiments of the public from what has been 
 written. Accordingly, the other evening, by 
 way of amusement, I sat down to abridge the 
 Resolutions and Declarations of the different so- 
 cieties. The aptitude of the style to the different 
 professions was diverting enough. It is at your 
 service; and may save many of your readers 
 much inquiry. I am, &c. 
 
 Quid Nuncjuii.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 345 
 
 PROFESSIONAL RESOLUTIONS. 
 
 1st, The Physicians were much at a loss to 
 account for the public delirium. It seemed to 
 them that some quacks had been bribed to give 
 poison in place of medicine. They were happy 
 however to observe, that the paroxysms were 
 less violent, which indicated symptoms of ap- 
 proaching convalescence. The remote and 
 proximate causes they would take time to con- 
 sider. Without fee or reward they declared, 
 that blisters for the head, and strait- waistcoats, 
 were very necessary precautions in all cases of 
 frenzy. 
 
 2d, The Surgeons rejoiced at having felt the 
 pulse of the public, and that every heart beat 
 firmly with loyalty to the King and the consti- 
 tution. It had often been probed, and it exhibit- 
 ed, in their opinion, the soundest stamina of any 
 constitution they had met with in the course of 
 their practice. Antiphlogistic diet they recom- 
 mended in all cases of plethora, and it was evi- 
 dent the people were too high fed. 
 
 3d, The Chemists were petrified at the present 
 effervescence. The ebullition that had taken 
 place clearly demonstrated the existence of some 
 lurking, corrosive acid j but they hoped that
 
 S46 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 by the application of a mild fixed alkali the mix- 
 ture would be fully neutralized, without having 
 recourse to supersaturation. 
 
 kth, The Tanners declared, that it appeared to 
 them that some people were hide-bound on the 
 present occasion ; but for their part they would 
 allow no association (not even of the cow-feed- 
 ers *) to stroke them against the hair. It was 
 true that some people were disposed to bark at 
 false alarms, but they would curry favour with 
 no such pickles. 
 
 5th, The Painters could not draw in too lively 
 colours the blessings they enjoyed as men and 
 citizens. They viewed with abhorrence the out- 
 lines of a system which would deface the fairest 
 picture of liberty which mankind had ever fram- 
 ed. The prominent features of the constitution 
 should be made to stand forth from the canvas on 
 the present occasion, for the reformers were but 
 daubers, from the indistinct sketches they had 
 exhibited. 
 
 6th, The Musicians were against ill-timed jar- 
 ring, and wished for nothing so much as har- 
 mony in the country. They would heartily join 
 with their fellow citizens, in " De'il tak the 
 . . 
 
 * The cow-feeders had published violent resolutions for a 
 reform in government.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 34? 
 
 " wars," and hoped that the " Ruffians Rant" 
 would never be made the popular music of Scot- 
 land. They said the French set of " De'il stick 
 the Minister/' was perfect discord, and unsuit- 
 able to the Scots melody. The French organ in 
 their opinion was altogether out of tune. 
 
 jik, The Brewers deprecated the designs of 
 those wicked persons who were so busily fer- 
 menting disturbances, masking mischief, and in- 
 fusing groundless fears into the public mind. 
 They hoped in the spirit of benevolence and 
 humanity, that these persons would never drink 
 the bitter dregs of the cup of their own brewing. 
 
 8th, The Gardeners were nettled at the exotic 
 notions that had sprung up in some people's 
 minds. A few sprigs of disloyalty had shot out, 
 but they were not for this climate. The Fleur 
 de lis, the indigenous plant of France, had been 
 blasted by severe storms, and they advised the 
 cultivators of the new weeds to try the climate of 
 Botany Bay. These planters might live to rue 
 their sage reform by delving in new ground in 
 this country. They considered our present con- 
 stitution as a Noli me tangere. The new im- 
 provers had mistaken the poisonous foxglove for 
 penny-royal, and celery, which it was well 
 known they were in search of. 
 
 9th, The Shoemakers were ready to pledge
 
 348 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 their awl for the support of the constitution, and 
 they were resolved to stick to the last. 
 
 \Oth y The Staymakers were resolved to sup- 
 port the shoulders of the constitution. It was 
 their duty, and they would stick to it like bone 
 to the back. They were ashamed that any of 
 their fraternity had endeavoured to dress Britan- 
 nia in loose boddice, which any kitchen wench 
 could make as well as the most skilful artist. 
 The boddice were little better than a wrapper ; 
 and it was well known, that the prominent parts 
 of the constitution always sunk under such feeble 
 supports, and flimsy texture. 
 
 11M, The Weavers were astonished at the 
 warped disposition of some people's minds. It 
 seemed to them that certain folks had a clue in 
 their bottom ; but for their parts, they would 
 have nothing to do with raveled hesps, nor bat- 
 ter the friends of the constitution with the rotten 
 thrum arguments of Tom Paine the staymaker. 
 They wished to avoid . all knotty work, and 
 hoped the loom of government would continue 
 to go smooth and easy, as it had done for an 
 hundred years. 
 
 \2th, The Bakers were against raising a flame 
 in the country. They thanked God, that there 
 was bread to eat in the Land of Cakes, which 
 was more than the French could boast of by
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 349 
 
 their new reform, and which every person would 
 allow had been but a sticked batch at best. 
 Some rapacious people coveted government 
 loaves, when they had good bread of their own. 
 
 13M, The Shipmasters had not a doubt but 
 that any attempt to wreck the constitution would 
 prove a rope of sand ; that beacons enough had 
 been erected to keep people from shoals, and 
 they were determined to steer by the constitu- 
 tional lights. The wooden walls of Britain they 
 hoped would protect her against foreign foes, 
 and they trusted, through the Providence up 
 aloft, they ever should wave the flag of victory, 
 if there were no mutiny on board. 
 
 14/A, The Fishermen were of opinion that many 
 of our present politicians were no better than 
 cods heads. They had great mouths and empty 
 stomachs, and having nothing to swallow, they 
 were glad to put up with sprats. They con- 
 sidered the constitution as the strong defensive 
 net of their liberties against the rude attacks of 
 bottle-noses, and other vermin. That if a small 
 mesh in the net had slipped a knot, it was easily 
 repaired. 
 
 \5th, The Printers received daily proofs of the 
 excellence of the constitution. An impression 
 had been made on their minds that it was supe- 
 rior to the arbitrary measures (after the trial of a
 
 350 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 republic), in the last century, for not one of their 
 number had yet lost his ears on the pillory. 
 
 The matter seemed to be now made up, and 
 they sincerely wished that those who had broken 
 the tranquillity of the country might be carried 
 by the devils to hell. * 
 
 \6th, The Grocers admired the mild spirit of 
 our laws, and hoped that we should long enjoy 
 the sweets of our constitution, unadulterated by 
 the vinegar of party politics. 
 
 1 7*/*, The Paper-makers would never stand to 
 see the constitution torn to rags. It was an old 
 shift of some people to pick holes, and use 
 thread-bare arguments, but they were deter- 
 mined to stick to the post, and have no wire- 
 wove reforms. Pro patria was their motto. 
 
 18^, The Booksellers declared themselves 
 enemies to piracy. They saw no need of a 
 French translation when the original English 
 was complete. Imperfections there were in the 
 best works, but these could be easily supplied, 
 as provision was always made for such accidents. 
 Many a good work had been spoiled cum notis 
 
 * When the types are set, and adjusted in the frame, it is 
 said the matter is made up. The younger apprentices are 
 called devils, and the broken types are thrown into a box, 
 which is called hell.
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 351 
 
 variorum, and commentators often made the 
 text obscure. 
 
 19th, The Glaziers saw clearly through the 
 designs of the enemies of government, and 
 were against all innovators. They preferred 
 the ancient crown-glass to the dim and deceitful 
 light of the modern Pane. 
 
 20/A, The Solicitors were resolved to pursue 
 every legal measure to support the constitution 
 as by law established. And they protested 
 against the tricks of all designing men, who en- 
 rich themselves at other people's expence. They 
 concluded with sincere prayers for quietness and 
 submission to the law. 
 
 %\st, The Blacksmiths were against unhinging 
 the constitution. Much public business was now 
 on the anvil, and it was not a time to blow the bel- 
 lows of sedition. Cooling measures they thought 
 best, but some people were hissing hot, to make 
 a splutter to hurt themselves. 
 
 22dV The Masons admired the solid construc- 
 tion of our constitution. The foundation-stone was 
 laid in the year 1688, and the building had stood 
 many a storm. If some cement had loosened, 
 that was no reason for idle fellows out of employ 
 calling out for pulling down a building, which 
 they had neither heads nor hands to raise. They 
 were but cowans at best.
 
 352 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 23o?, The Wrights and joiners were of opinion, 
 that when our forefathers formed the British con- 
 stitution they had hit the right nail on the head, 
 and they were against splintering it now by re- 
 forms. It was a rule of theirs never to pull a 
 piece of work asunder which was well cemented 
 and dove-tailed already. Where was the new 
 plan to work by ? They had seen none ; and 
 fools should not meddle with edge-tools. 
 
 24M, The Candlemakers admired the marrow 
 of our constitution, and were astonished, that in 
 this enlightened age persons should take the 
 Pain to plunge us into midnight darkness. Po- 
 liticians might dip as deep as they pleased into 
 the constitution, but their labours, from such a 
 solid mass, would but raise a spark like a spunk, 
 and would die like the snuff of a farthing 
 candle. 
 
 25th, The Lamp-lighters said, that in these 
 dark days the question was not, now, which 
 should be in or which should be out; but some 
 people, without a spark of common-sense, wanted 
 to extinguish a constitution which had long 
 shone with meridian brightness ; but they were 
 unskilful trimmers, as would one day be seen ; 
 and that nothing, they hoped, was to be feared 
 from such feeble glimmerings of discontent. 
 
 26M, The Goldsmiths thought that those who
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES 353 
 
 bore the sterling stamp of the pure and unalloy- 
 ed love of their country were bound to exert 
 themselves to give due weight to the executive 
 power. They were decidedly of opinion, that 
 those who falsely assumed the name of the 
 Friends of the People could not stand the test, 
 but were a counterfeit and base bell-metal, which 
 it was intolerable to think should ever pass cur- 
 rent in these kingdoms. They trusted, that no 
 bold innovators, under the specious pretence of 
 refining the constitution, would be permitted to 
 lower it down to the destestable standard of 
 equality. 
 
 27th, The Saddlers, spurred on by zeal for 
 the constitution, were determined to put the sad- 
 dle on the right horse, and that, in their opinion, 
 was the white horse. 
 
 28th, The Bonnet-makers were against all in- 
 novations, for they thought some folks had a bee 
 in their bonnets. Their wish was That the 
 Heir- Apparent might fill his father's bonnet. 
 
 Q9th, The Butchers would not be forestalled 
 in their expressions of loyalty. The constitu- 
 tion was sound at the heart, and they would not 
 see it disjointed or cut up in an unwarrantable 
 manner, nor would they have French politics 
 crammed down their throats. It was base to at- 
 tempt to knock down the best constitution that 
 
 z
 
 354 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ever was reared, or at present to hamstring the 
 operations of government. 
 
 They hoped the French butchers, who held 
 daggers for their fellow-creatures, would never 
 be permitted to penetrate into the entrails of this 
 country; but if they did, they would perhaps 
 find it difficult to save their bacon. 
 
 [The following resolutions, which appeared in 
 the name of a very respectable body of citi- 
 zens, the merchants of Leith, received much 
 approbation in different parts of the country. 
 They express, with singular felicity, the at- 
 tachment of dutiful subjects to the British 
 constitution, the rational grounds upon which 
 that attachment is founded, and the folly of 
 expecting, in political establishments, a degree 
 of perfection, incompatible with the character, 
 the institutions, and the inventions of man. 
 They contain a happy mixture of virtuous 
 sentiment and sound argument, in language 
 which unites elegance with perspicuity and 
 precision. They form the political creed of 
 a good British subject, and at the same time 
 assign incontrovertible reasons for this belief.]
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 355 
 
 LEITH RESOLUTIONS. 
 
 Assembly Rooms, Leith, Dec. ^th 1792. 
 In consequence of the present political agita- 
 tion which is attempted to be raised in some 
 parts of this country, the Incorporation of Mer- 
 chants in Leith, friends to the civil and religious 
 constitution of Britain, met this day to consider 
 the foundation and object of the present discon- 
 tents. After maturely considering the subject, 
 they unanimously came to the following reso- 
 lutions : 
 
 1st, That the civil and religious constitution 
 of Great Britain is the happiest that the course 
 of human affairs ever produced among men. 
 
 2o?, That this constitution, which has been the 
 result of the wisdom and experience of ages, 
 and is the subject of admiration among surround- 
 ing nations, should not be rashly innovated. 
 
 3d, That by our present happy constitution, 
 the life, liberty, and property of every indi- 
 vidual is guarded by just and equal laws. That 
 no man, however great, is above their control, 
 and none so low, that they will not protect ; 
 therefore, that no person can be aggrieved, or
 
 356 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 personally feel injury, without the means of 
 redress. 
 
 kth, That every man of virtue, talents, and 
 industry, has it in his power to rise in society, 
 under our present mild and happy government, 
 in proportion as he exerts his abilities ; and that 
 there is none to make him afraid, or to oppress 
 him with impunity. 
 
 5th, That in human nature, constituted as it 
 is, no political government can give universal 
 satisfaction ; for evil and designing men will al- 
 ways exist, and often, from selfish motives, raise 
 complaints of supposed or aggravated griev- 
 ances, which if those men had the rule they 
 would not amend. 
 
 6th, That if any body of men feel grievances, 
 they ought to apply in a constitutional manner 
 to Parliament to have them redressed ; and we 
 are confident the wisdom of the legislative body 
 will give the proper relief. 
 
 7th, That the people ought to be cautious 
 not to be misled by designing, disappointed, or 
 discontented men, whose purity of intention is 
 suspicious, and whose schemes may lead to dan- 
 gerous errors. 
 
 8th, That every measure conducive to the 
 honour, the dignity, and prosperity of the Bri- 
 tish nation, deserves the approbation and the
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 357 
 
 support of every well-disposed citizen ; but that 
 every member of the state should be jealous of 
 innovation, cautious of being misled by party, 
 or beguiled by theoretical and impracticable 
 phantoms of government, which might termi- 
 nate in ruin to himself, and destruction to his 
 country. 
 
 9th, That as good citizens, we will, to the 
 utmost of our power, oppose whatever may 
 have a tendency to disturb the peace, harmony, 
 and prosperity which we now enjoy ; blessings 
 too valuable to be wantonly sported with. 
 
 A Translation of the following Latin Lines on the Calyx 
 of the Rose, was requested by a Lady. 
 
 Sunt fratres quini, sub eadem tempore nati, 
 Duo sunt barbati, duo sine barba creati : 
 
 Unus est ex quinque 
 
 Non est barbatus utrinque. 
 
 TRANSLATION, EXTEMPORE. 
 
 Five brothers at one time were born, 
 Two bearded were, and two were shorn. 
 But sure in all this share of beards 
 The fifth had badly play'd his cards ; 
 A half was all that to him fell, 
 But why, or wherefore, none could tell.
 
 358 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 THE WANT OF 
 
 PERSONAL BEAUTY 
 
 A FREQUENT CAUSE OF VIRTUE AND HAPPINESS. 
 
 It has been justly said, that no one ever de- 
 spised beauty who possessed it. It is, indeed, 
 a noble privilege to be able to give pleasure, 
 wherever one goes, merely by one's presence, 
 and without the trouble of exertion. The respect 
 which is paid to beauty, and the recommenda- 
 tion it gives to all our good qualities, are cir- 
 cumstances sufficiently advantageous to render 
 the person, who has been blest with it, sincerely 
 grateful. 
 
 But the majority of mankind, if they are not 
 deformed, are yet not beautiful. And this is a 
 wise and benevolent dispensation of Providence; 
 for, notwithstanding the pretensions of beauty, 
 I am convinced, that the want of it is attended 
 with great benefit to society. Man is naturally 
 desirous of rendering himself, in some respect, 
 valuable and amiable ; and, if he has nothing 
 external to recommend him, will endeavour to 
 compensate his defect by the acquisition of in- 
 ternal excellence. But that the virtues of the 
 heart, and the abilities of the understanding, con- 
 tribute much more to public benefit than any
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 359 
 
 corporeal accomplishment, is a truth which needs 
 no illustration. 
 
 It is indeed a well-known fact, that the best 
 poets, philosophers, writers, and artists, have 
 been of the number of those who were, in some 
 measure, prevented in their youth from indulg- 
 ing idleness and profligacy, either by some con- 
 stitutional infirmity, or by the want of those per- 
 sonal graces, which are the greatest allurements 
 to a life of dissipation. Among a thousand in- 
 stances, in confirmation of this truth, I will se- 
 lect that of Pope ; to the deformity and imbe- 
 cility of whose body we may attribute his early 
 and constant application to poetry. Where there 
 are powerful solicitations to the pleasures of sense, 
 very little attention will be paid to the pure de- 
 lights of the mind. 
 
 But it is more particularly my design to point 
 out some advantages attending the want of beauty 
 in women: a want which will always be con- 
 sidered by them as a misfortune. But all mis- 
 fortunes admit of consolation ; and many of 
 them, under a judicious conduct, may be meta- 
 morphosed into blessings. But while I consider 
 the advantages attending the want of personal 
 charms, I must not be understood to undervalue 
 beauty. If we admire the lifeless works of art, 
 much more should we be delighted with the liv-
 
 360 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 ing feature, in which are united symmetry and 
 expression. It is Nature's command that we 
 should be charmed with her productions, both 
 animate and inanimate ; and our hearts are most 
 willingly obedient when she bids us admire beau- 
 ty in our own species. Taste, fancy, and affec- 
 tion, are then all at once most powerfully assault- 
 ed, and it would be as unnatural as it is vain to 
 resist, by refusing our admiration. 
 
 But after our admiration is over, we shall find, 
 when we exercise our reflection and judgment, 
 what experience has indeed often proved, that 
 plain women are the most valuable. It may ap- 
 pear paradoxical, but I will assert it to be true, 
 that plain women are usually found, as the com- 
 panions of life, the most agreeable. They are, 
 indeed for the most part, I do not say always, the 
 best daughters, the best wives, the best mothers ; 
 most important relations, and most honourable 
 to those who support them with propriety. They 
 who aim not at such characters, but live only 
 to display a pretty face, can scarcely rank high- 
 er than a painted doll, or a blockhead, placed 
 with a cap on it, in a milliner's window. 
 
 There is something of an irritability in the 
 constitution of women whose minds are uncul- 
 tivated, which, when increased by opposition, 
 and confirmed by habit, usually produces a ter-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 36l 
 
 magant, a shrew, or a virago : characters which, 
 from the torment they occasion, may be said 
 greatly to participate of an infernal nature. No- 
 thing but reading, reflection, and indeed what 
 is called a liberal education, can in general smooth 
 this natural asperity. A woman who, by attend- 
 ing to her face, is led to neglect the mind, and 
 who, besides, has been flattered in her youth 
 by the admirers of her beauty, seldom fails, in 
 the more advanced periods of her life, to vent 
 the virulence of her temper, now soured and 
 blackened by neglect, on all who have the mis- 
 fortune to approach her. Her husband, if she 
 has peradventure entangled some miserable 
 wight, undergoes such torment as might just- 
 ly rescue him from purgatory, by the plea of 
 already having suffered it. 
 
 But folly and ignorance are almost as preg- 
 nant with domestic misery as a bad temper. And 
 how shall she avoid folly and ignorance, with all 
 their train of whims, fickleness, fears, false deli- 
 cacies, vanity, pride, affectation, envy, peevish- 
 ness, fretfulness, childishness and weakness of 
 nerves, who has spent all the days when she was 
 young, and all the days she thought herself 
 young, at her toilette, and under the hands of 
 the friseur? She found herself admired where- 
 ever she went, without saying or doing any thing
 
 362 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 admirable. She has therefore saved herself the 
 trouble of forming a taste for reading, or a habit 
 of thinking. But beauty is a rose which soon 
 withers. She loses the power of pleasing others; 
 and, alas! possesses none to please herself, which 
 can supply the place of flattery and pretended 
 adoration. As her life began and continued in 
 folly, so it ends in misery. If she married, she 
 was useless at least, and probably tormenting to 
 her husband. If she continued unmarried, she 
 possessed few qualities to render her acquaintance 
 solicited, and none that could afford her a ration- 
 al amusement in solitude. 
 
 It may indeed happen, that a beautiful wo- 
 man may be educated with uncommon vigilance, 
 that she may possess a remarkably good under- 
 standing, and as good a disposition. In this 
 case, her beauty will be doubly valuable, not 
 only from its real excellence when combined 
 with a cultivated understanding, but from the 
 difficulty of attending to the graces of the mind 
 amidst the cares of the person, and the flattery 
 of foolish admirers. It is certainly possible, that 
 a beautiful woman may be as accomplished as a 
 plain woman, and I know that, in this age, there 
 are many instances of it ; but I am speaking of 
 probabilities, and I think it much more probable, 
 that plain women will be, in general, better
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 363 
 
 furnished with those two necessary ingredients 
 to domestic happiness, a corrected temper, and 
 a cultivated understanding. 
 
 Let us suppose a case, for the sake of exem- 
 plifying the subject, and let it be something like 
 the following : A young lady, whose person is 
 plain, cannot help observing how much she is 
 neglected at public assemblies, and what univer- 
 sal attention is paid to beauty. She will natural- 
 ly feel a desire to partake of the respect. She 
 revolves in her mind the most likely methods of 
 accomplishing her purpose. As to her features 
 and shape, it is in vain to think of altering them. 
 She must draw her resources from her mind and 
 her temper. She will study to collect ideas, in 
 order to render her conversation agreeable. She 
 will therefore read, and observe, and reflect, and 
 remember. Her eager desire to gain esteem 
 will stimulate her industry, and give steadiness 
 to' her application. With these she cannot fail 
 to succeed. Her mind will be stored with know- 
 ledge, which will produce itself in conversation 
 with all the graces of ease and elegance. The 
 improvement of her mind will have a natural 
 effect in the improvement of her temper; for 
 every part of polite learning tends to soften and 
 harmonize the disposition. But she will also pay 
 particular attention to the regulation of her
 
 364 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 temper ; for she will justly argue, that envy and 
 ill-nature will add distortion and ugliness to a 
 set of features originally not worse than plain or 
 indifferent. She will study to compensate her 
 defects, not only by rendering herself intelligent 
 and good tempered, but useful. She will there- 
 fore study the practical parts of domestic econo- 
 my; those parts of humble but valuable know- 
 ledge, with which a fine lady, with a fine face, 
 would scorn to meddle, lest she should be denied. 
 Thus sensible, good tempered, and useful, her 
 company would be sought by men of sense and 
 character ; and, if any one of them should be 
 disposed to marry, I have little doubt but that 
 she would be his choice, in preference to a mere 
 beauty, who has scarcely one excellent or use- 
 ful quality to render her a good wife, mother, 
 and mistress of a family. 
 
 Suppose our plain lady married. Her grati- 
 tude will be powerfully excited in return for the 
 preference given to her amidst so many others 
 who are talked of, and toasted, and admired. 
 All her attention will be bestowed in making the 
 man happy, who has made her happy in so flat- 
 tering a manner. Her understanding has been 
 enlightened, and her temper sweetened by her 
 own exertions. She will therefore be an enter- 
 taining as well as tender and affectionate com-
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 365 
 
 panion. She has been accustomed to solid 
 pleasures, for her plain person secluded her from 
 vanity. She therefore seeks and finds comfort 
 at home. She is not always wishing to frequent 
 the places of public amusement, but thinks the 
 day happily closed, if she can look back and 
 find no domestic duty omitted. 
 
 Suppose her a mother. As she has furnished 
 herself with ideas, she will be able to impart them 
 to her children. She will teach them to enter- 
 tain a proper knowledge of the world, and not 
 lead them, by her example, to admire only its 
 vanities. She will be able to educate her daugh- 
 ters completely, and to initiate and improve her 
 sons. In the mean time, the fine lady, who has 
 been taught to idolize her own face, and to doat 
 on vanity, will neither be able nor willing to 
 interest herself in such disagreeable matters as 
 the care of her noisy children, whom she almost 
 detests, since they make her look old as they 
 grow up, and are an impediment to her extrava- 
 gance and dissipation. At the age of thirty or 
 forty, which of the two is the more amiable ? 
 Who now takes notice of the plain lady's face, 
 or the handsome lady's beauty ? The plain lady, 
 in all probability, is esteemed, and the hand- 
 some lady pitied or despised. But this is not
 
 366 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 all ; for the one is happy and useful, the other 
 burthensome and miserable. 
 
 Juvenal, in his celebrated satire on the vanity 
 of human wishes, laments that the accomplish- 
 ment of our wishes would often be the cause of 
 our destruction, and that such are our prayers, 
 that, if heaven were always propitious, it would 
 often be unkind. Who wishes not beauty in his 
 children ? Yet beauty has been the bane of my- 
 riads, whom deformity might have saved from 
 ruin, and rendered useful, happy, and respect- 
 able. 
 
 I have thus attempted, in this paper, to con- 
 sole that very worthy part of the sex who have 
 not to boast the finest tincture of a skin, nor the 
 most perfect symmetry of shape and features, 
 and who are often not only neglected, but even 
 ridiculed by the unfeeling man of pleasure. It 
 is surely a comfortable reflection, that, though 
 nature has treated their persons rather rudely, 
 her apparent malignity may be turned to a 
 benefit ; and that a very plain system of features 
 may really be the cause of rendering them more 
 engaging, and more permanently happy, as well 
 as better able to communicate happiness, than 
 the most celebrated toast, whose mind is unem- 
 bellished. She indeed may shine a little while
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 367 
 
 in the fashionable sphere, while she exhibits the 
 transitory gloss of novelty, but soon drops her 
 honours, like the gaudy tulip, and is no more 
 remembered. 
 
 SOME HINTS ON EDUCATION. 
 
 A selfish indifference to whatever does not im- 
 mediately concern our own ease, pleasure, or in- 
 terest, is perhaps too much the characteristic of 
 present manners. Few feel the generous glow 
 of virtue that takes interest in the concerns of 
 another, and is willing to be active for the good 
 of society. It is thus that manners steal silently 
 on to corruption, till custom gives sanction to the 
 wildest extravagance, and the multitude of the 
 profligate gives countenance to the most perni- 
 cious vices. If we look into the world, we shall 
 find this at present strongly exemplified, when 
 many pursue without a blush what formerly 
 would have been reckoned a crime. 
 
 There is no axiom more clear, than that a peo- 
 ple are happy in proportion as they are virtu- 
 ous ; and it will be allowed that the virtue of the 
 individual greatly depends on the first principles
 
 368 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 and habits of youth. To have the stream pure, 
 care must be had that the fountain is not polluted. 
 The rising generation will soon occupy the pla- 
 ces of their predecessors, and constitute society. 
 If they bring vice, ignorance, and corruption to 
 fill the important stations of life, society must of 
 course be contaminated, and will hasten to ruin. 
 Those who have not experienced a strict and vir- 
 tuous education, will scarcely attend, or rather 
 are incapable of giving it to those who are to fol- 
 low. And thus when private virtue sinks, pub- 
 lic virtue must also fall. The great and manly 
 lines of duty are obliterated. A regard to the 
 rights of others is neglected or despised, and sel- 
 fishness and false pleasure become the governing 
 principles, which have always been the sure in- 
 dications of a falling nation. 
 
 The only means, perhaps, of restoring a peo- 
 ple to virtue, who are already far advanced in 
 corruption and luxury, is by a strict attention, 
 from an early period, to the education of youth ; 
 and this ought to be an object of attention in a 
 wise legislature, as well as it is the private duty 
 of a parent. Partial reforms in a people in the 
 state of false refinement and corruption, are nu- 
 gatory and chimerical, unless they are made to 
 originate in the virtue and manners of the indi- 
 viduals. It is perhaps the fault of the present
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 36Q 
 
 times, that too little restraint is put on the incli- 
 nations of youth ; that they are too early intro- 
 duced into company and public amusements, 
 and consequently soon commence mere men of 
 the world. A disposition to licentiousness is 
 formed, before proper principles or tastes are 
 established ; and thus all authority is despised, 
 and habits contracted which too often end in 
 profligacy and ruin, or form characters ignorant, 
 vicious, or despicable. A young man formerly 
 valued himself on his acquisitions in useful know- 
 ledge and mental accomplishments. It is but 
 too common now, that they value themselves on 
 their progress in profligacy and intemperance, 
 and the beau and the blackguard are too frequent- 
 ly found united in the same person. The term 
 a gentleman seems to be in a rapid change of its 
 meaning. 
 
 That freedom from restraint, and early intro- 
 duction into life, before sense and principles are 
 acquired, is equally hurtful to the female cha- 
 racter, as it is to the other sex. Fashionable 
 education introduces Miss into company as a 
 woman at fourteen, but raw and ignorant of every 
 thing but coquetry. Simplicity and innocence 
 of character are thought awkward ; but ease and 
 familiarity are at that age high breeding. 
 
 The late Dr Gregory, in his valuable little 
 a a
 
 570 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 treatise, entitled, " A Legacy to his Daughters," 
 observes, that the behaviour of the ladies of the 
 preceding age was very reserved, which had the 
 effect of making them more respected and at- 
 tended to than they are at present. By the pre- 
 sent mode of female manners, the ladies seem to 
 expect to hold their ascendancy, by being always 
 at public places, and conversing with the same 
 unreserved freedom that the men do with one 
 another. But, says he, never allow any person, 
 even under the sanction of friendship, to be so 
 familiar as to lose a proper respect for you. The 
 sentiment of allowing innocent freedoms, is both 
 grossly indelicate and dangerous, and has proved 
 fatal to many of the sex. How the respect of 
 the other sex is to be preserved, must be a serious 
 question, where women, weak by nature, do not 
 fortify themselves by estimable qualities. These 
 qualities, too, are not only necessary before a 
 young woman's state in life is determined, but 
 must, in single life or in marriage, affect her re- 
 spectability and her comfort. She is not merely 
 in the condition of the other sex, who find, after 
 a youth spent in idleness, little to amuse old age 
 from past recollections or early habits. She has 
 all the toil of forcing society to keep her in mind 
 when she has ceased to add to its brilliance, with 
 
 the disadvantage, that every imprudence which 
 n
 
 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 371 
 
 was forgiven in the fascination of youth, is repaid 
 by double censure when that plea is gone. 
 
 I do not mean to say that the present age has 
 much degenerated from the past ; yet there are 
 habits of expense, and foolish plans of education 
 pursued, which do not correspond with the rough 
 character of bygone times. It is well if we 
 can make life happy, and embellish education 
 while we keep it moral ; still we must be aware, 
 that the descent from comfort to luxury, and 
 thence to vice, is rapid and easy. 
 
 In the introduction to these remarks, I alluded 
 to the common-place axiom, that a nation is al- 
 ways safe when its members connect their indi- 
 vidual conduct with its general prosperity. This 
 they do when they obey the law, and carry this 
 obedience into the economy of their families and 
 ordinary transactions. The same rule should 
 prompt them to prepare such as are to fill their 
 places for acting a proper part in the succeeding 
 stage of society. Experience may shew them 
 how ineffectual education often is in correcting: 
 the vices of nature. But one consideration is al- 
 ways at hand to conquer this misgiving. If the 
 best endeavours be often thwarted, what degree 
 of profligacy may not be feared for that mind, 
 which wants the means, equally with the desire, 
 of improvement. Some hint remembered, may s
 
 372 EDINBURGH FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 undo the vicious habits of many years; and where 
 sin is known to be hateful, it must always need 
 the heats of passion to kindle a desire for it. 
 
 A wise instructor, too, will not think this duty 
 finished when he has provided useful rules for life. 
 He will be desirous that his lessons should pierce 
 deeper, and that their effects should last longer. 
 It is often to a want of this forethought, that so 
 many are found without any qualification in life 
 to make death a release or a victory. Wherever 
 maxims prevail which do not first mend the heart, 
 we may doubt the permanence of those charac- 
 ters which they form ; and wherever they do not 
 contemplate another world, we may doubt their 
 fitness to promote happiness in this. 
 
 Theophrastus. 
 
 THE END. 
 
 Printed by George Ramsay & Co. 
 Edinburgh, 1815.
 
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