aSSSSKStH FABLES; ANCIENT and MODERN: LAFONTAINE* B Y WILLIAM WALLBECK. FLORIFERIS UT APES IN SALTIBUS OMNIA LIBANT, OMNIA NOS ITIDEM DEPASCJMUR AUREA DTC AUREA, PERPETUA SEMPER DIGNISSIMA VJT ; LONDON: PRINTED FOR THE AUTHOR: AND SOLD BY R. FAULDERj J. STOCKDALE; J. DEBRETT; 1. EDWARDS} J. WALTER; and E. NEWBERRY. PRICE, THREE SHILLINGS AND SlX-PENCE, 5SWBD, M.OCC.LXXXVII, Lately puplijhed, by the fame AUTHOR, THE LIFE OF CERVANTES, In fmall Oftavoy Price ONE SHILLING. AND SOCRATES AND XANTIPPE, A BURLESQUE ? A L E, In %uartc % Price Two SHILLINGS, DEDICATION. T O RICHARD WOODESON, VINERIAN PROFESSOR OF THE LAWS OF ENGLAND. (OXFORD.) S I R. 1 O endeavour at Imitating LAP'ONTAINE, to whom fo many good judges have afcribed excellence above imitation^ will be thought (whatever apologies 1 may have to offer) highly temerarious. But, how much have I added to that temerity, by fetting your Name at the head of this Dedication! Thereby obtruding an imperfect Work upon the notice of fo able a Critic : - of one converfant with the living languages, as well as the dead; and competent to compare thefe my Fables with thofe of the Great Matters. How much mine muft fuffer by the com- parifon, I am well aware. But, acute as is your pe- netration, and correct your tafte, I am lefs afraid of the fcrutiny than , they would be who know you only in your literary capacity j as a Profeflbr, and a Scholar. lam 2203446 iv DEDICATION. I am under lefs alarm, becaufe I am acquainted as well with the goodnefs of your heart, as the ftrength of your head. Severity of Judgement, I know, will be attempered by the gentlenefs of Candour. 44 Summum jus, fumma injuria:" is a maxim which holds as good in Critifcim, as in Law. He muft be liberal, as well as learned, who is qua- lified to fit in either Court. " Ufe every Man after bis defert, and wbajhall efcape whipping?" Not I ; fmner as I am. ls[o; nqr even HAYLEY himfelf; who in fome of his Works approaches as near per- fection, as humanity can do : but if no offences were to be pafled over, the Beadles ef Parnaffus would have lamed him long ago. What HORACE has faid of Man himfelf, may very well be applied to his Cornpofitions. V it'ii* nemo Jine nafcitur : optimus ilie ejl $ui minimis urgetur. Millions of Men have been writing for thoufands of years ; and there never yet came from the Prefs one faultlefs Work. Nor, probably, ever will. For, If, under the pains and penalties of Sin, the enthufiafm of Virtue, and the certain rewards of Religion, Man is incapable of attaining to Perfection in his moral capa- city, it would be abfurd to expe- will give thofe very Members offence : but that is matter of little concern to me ; confident as I am that nothing I have faid can be conftrued into difrefpecl for the REVIEWERS in general, or flight for their works. To contemn the folly of fome, and reprobate the malignancy of others, is not to impeach a whole Clafs ; not, though fpoken of men of ordinary rank : how much lefs, then, (hall partial cenfure affet the whole of a learned Society : the majority of whom muft, neceflarily, from having had a liberal education, have elevated minds. In xii 'DEDICATION. In FRANCE, where one in every hundred (which is about the proportion of thofe who can write) -is an Author; and the other ninety nine (who can hardly read) are Critics : and where aimoft every Province holds its diftinci petty Court of mquifition upon Authors, I wonder not that the word Jaurnalijl is a term of jgnorance and reproach. But, in GERMANY, and with us, the Reviewers furely ftand upon a refpectable footing ; and were it not that I know the Genus irritabile Vatum, (that Scribblers are not stoics, but will cry out when they are lamed) I mould be furprifed at the invidious farcafms, and invectives fo frequently and fo unde- fervedly thrown out againft them. This, if I know my own independency of fpirit, I fay not to curry future favour ; nor with reference to their reports of my paft Publications. It is what I faid long before I had any thoughts of ap- pearing in Print. Nor do I fay it in refpect to any particular Perfon ; for I have not perfonal acquaint- ance with, nor I do know even by name any one Public Critic in the whole circle of Letters : but I know of what effential ufe their labours are to Literature : that but for them the World would long ago have been overrun with nonfenfe. T DEDICATION. xiir I am afraid, SIR, I have almoft tired you with dwelling fo long on the fubje:l of Criticifm and Critics. Had it been addrefled to you only, you might very well twit me with the cant phrafe, " Sus Miner- vam ;" but, as the King's Speed) is, by cuftom of Parliament, debated as the "^ords of the Minijier, fo prefatory Difcourfes, though they have fome ?reat Name or other tacked to them, are looked upon as vehicles of information to Readers in general. It was for their fakes I have endeavoured to (how the RE- VIEWERS in a juft light. For, all the Portraitures I have yet feen of them have been taken by partial hands. By thefe they have been reprefented as G iants j by thofe as dwarfs. By fome they have been idolized as Demi- gods ; and execrated as Devils by others. The extremes are evidently faulty. The truth of every character muft be taken at the medium, betwixt the partiality of Friends, and the diflike of Enemies. The Critics certainly make no pretence to fupernatural powers : nor are they exempted from human frailties. They are Men, like ?s we (Scribblers) are, varioufly endowed with the qualities of the head and heart. But now, SIR, it is high time I mould fay fome- thing of the nature of the Work I have the honour of prefenting ta you. And, in fo doing, I will endea- vour DEDICATION. vour to take the middle courfe, betwixt felf-praife, and felf- condemnation. It is the track we mould all keep ; but it requires more courage, and lefs vanity than generally falls to an Author's mare. - J u JT a rt 6 * 1 * Heleni Scyllant atque Charibdim Inter utramque viam, letln difcrimlne parvo, Ni ieneant curfus. From whence the proverb, c Incidit in Scyllam^ fcf f . which I hope will not be verified in me. In Ipeaking of this work, I truft I mall neither be darned sgainft the rock of prefumption, nor drawn into the gulph of defpdndency. My little Bark, furely, will get fafe through the Strait, let what may happen to it in the wide Ocean. I have added to the Title of FABLES,' AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE/ not to provoke a compfrifon of this my Work with that great Matter's, but merely to diftinguifli it from any thing we have of the Fable kind in our language : unlefs fome forry Tranflations of fome ill- feleted from his Fables are thought worthy of that defcription : which certainly they are not. Had they, fuch as they are, at all refembled the Original, i would as foon have hung up BABRIAS'S Head, as LAFON- TAINE'S, for my Sign, DEDICATION. xv To the Frenchman's honour, and to the credit of the Moderns, it muft be owned LA FONTAINE'S Work is incomparably fuperior to that of any ancient Fabulift's, now extant; not excepting PHJEDRUS himfelf. In faying this you will not fufpecT: me of giving undue preference to modern Writers. Few perfons hold the Ancients in fuch high eftimaiation as I do. My partiality, if I have any, leans towards them. Nor would I part with the little knowledge I have of the dallies for the wealth of all the World. For this enthufiafm which ftands me in fo great ftead, I am indebted to your late much honoured Father. 1 mall ever account as the moft fortunate circumftance of my life the having been put to KINGSTON School, under the tuition of fuch a Cultor Juvenum : as good a Mafter, Father, rlufband, as good a Man in all the relative duties of life as ever adorned humanity : a thorough Chriftian ; of exemplary morals ; and of earned, unaffected piety. Occupied, as much of his time neceflarily was, by his temporal avocation, no one could be more afliduous in the holy Miniitry. And though he died undignified, neither Bimop, Dean, nor Prebendary, (for he had no parliamentary Inter eft,} his Learning and his Virtues would have done the higheft credit to the higheil Station in the Church, xvi DEDICATION. Church. Nor was he unaffected in his piety alorie, fcut in his general manners ; in his whole deportment. He did not even ftudy to do good ; it was natural to him ; and rame from him fpontaneoufly. His heart was as enlarged as .his underftanding. Quick in his intellects and feelings ; and prompt in charity. How many went daily from his doors calling upon Heaven to blefs him ! I believe I fpeak within compafs, when I fay, [ have myfelf feen him relieve many, many hundreds : and I never law him turn away one fingle Creature empty handed. So little had he of worldly policy, and the vvarinefs of narrow minds, that he wodd have relieved the greateft villain upon earth had he feen him in diftrefs. The probability of being duped was of no confideration with him, when it was polfiblc he might do good. In his reproofs to known Vagabonds he preferved his temper, and his dignity; tut did not facririce his feelings to the affectation of juiUce. He confidered the very worft as his fellow- creatures : he gave them le.rures, it is true; but lie gave them his good wimes alfo : and he gave them money ; that unequivocal mark of kindnefs and com- panion, PoflefTed as my honoured mafter was of every good quality of the head and heart, I have dwelt particu- larly on his charity, becaufe it is the belt virtue Mankind can boaft. A* EDICO. xv As he was beneficent* towards the poor; and kind to ftrangers ; fo was he clement and indulgent in his School : inflicting punimment, of neceflity, at times ; but much more frequently remitting it. But what rendered him particularly amiable^ and eftimable, was, agenuirie truth and fimplicity of cha^- ra&er : which, though he lived to a venerable age, and had had much intercourfe with the world, nothing had been able to corrupt. Though it was impoflible but he muft have been witnefs to fcenes of villainy, he was himfelf fo incapable of committing a bafe acTion* that he was altogether unfufpicious of harm. Amongft the qualities it was natural to expect in a Perfon whofe time was devoted to Letters, Mr. WOODESON pofTefled others which are not the cha- racteriftics of a Scholar. He was perfectly well bred : as much fo as if he had paffed his early years at Court, inftead of at College. Courteous, candid, and affable. Agreeable in his perfon, graceful in addrefs, and pleafmg in converfation : adapting himfelf with peculiar felicity to the difpofition and capacity of thofe with whom he converfed. Sprightly and jocofe with the young and gay ; fedate and argumentative with the learned, and the old. Of MR. WOODESON'S Erudition I might of my cwn knowledge fay a great deal, having ftudi^d under c him xviii DEDICATION. him no lefs than ten years ; but inftead of ranging' over fo wide a field, and writing (which I could do) a whole volume on the fubjeclj I will confine it to a fmgle Anecdote, which I had from a Cotemporary of Mr. W ,'s at OXFORD ; and which may ferve to give the Reader a tolerable notion of his Learning. When he was only a Student he was a marked good Scholar: and wrote Verfes (Greek as well as Latin) with fuch facility, that he never refufed his pen to any body. And, as goodnature is often abufed, it happened frequently to him, that, his fel- low Students came to his Rooms at his breakfaft time, and enticing him with fome interefting theme, ate up his breakfaft, whilft he was writing verfes for them. I leave to the Reader to imagine what a vaft fuper- ftruclure of Learning muft have been raifed on fuch a foundation, by the labour of thirty or forty years j afliduoufly teaching, and expounding the beft Claflic Authors. I have, fince I left School, read mod of the Commentators on moft of the Claffics, with fome attention, but never any with half the fatisfadion, nor from any of them have I got half the information I have from the oral expofitions, the learned, juft and elegant criticifms of the late MR. WOODESON, my tjver-to-be-remembered, and ever-refpeted Mafter. By DEDICATION. six By this my tribute to the worth of one, whofe me- mory is almoft as dear to me as it can be to you, I may, not improbably, have renewed your forrow for the lofs of fuch a Parent ; I may have torn open thofe wounds which the lenient hand of time had healed, and have made them bleed afrefti ; yet, SIR, am I not difpofed to entreat your pardon : for the fame reafon that I (hall make no apology to the Reader for this long Digreffion: becaufe, it is, impoffible to think of a good Man's removal from Earth to Heaven, without being better for the refle&ion. At the beginning of this Dedication, I intimated that I had fome fort of excufe to offer for prefuming to imitate LAFONTAJNE. The truth is, I was pro- voked to attempt it by the arrogancy of a Frenchman, who, not fatisfied with my frank acknowledgement that we had no Fabulift worthy to be compared with LAFONTAINE, would have it, * that his Stile was ini- * mitable ; and his Wit of a brilliancy peculiar to the 4 Genius of France : and which together would for ' ever mock the efforts of all other Nations, and more 4 particularly the phlegmatic Englijh.* The impetuous anfwer I made, I am willing to forget : but the pro- vocation lives in my memory ; and thefe Fables are jthe fruits of it. Forced fruits have not always the belt flavour ; xx DEDICATION. flavour : and fo I fear it will be found in this in-, fiance: partly, indeed, from my own fault: I was in too great hafte to produce them : making the fire in the ftoves too ardent ; and negle&ing from time to time to prune the tree. As it has been invariably my cuftom to carry a Book in my pocket : in order to perfeft myfelf in French, when I went abroad, I gave up my Elzivir Claflics, (not without great relu&ance,) to make room for French Literature; and having met with LAFONTAINE'S Works, amongft others of commo- dious fize, he was on that account, as well as his great merit, commonly my Compagnon de Voyage ; and almoft conftantly from the time I purpofed to take his likenefs. How often have I read him over, -and al- ways with new delight ! How often has he regaled my mind, and my body, too, (by that inexplicable fympathy betwixt our corporal and mental faculties,) when I have been labouring up the JURA Mountains, in a fultry day ! How often have I rambled about the Country of the LAC DE Joux, (that delicious Sum- pier Refidence,) with nobody to converfe with but LA- FONTAINE! And how often, earneftly engaged with him, have 1 loft my way ; and after fome pains to. find a beaten track, have fet me down with LAFON- TAINE, waiting patiently till fome chance Traveller,- or DEDICATION. xxi or Peafant came acrofs to direcl me home ! One wretched night which I pafled in a Wood, for want of fuch fortunate occurrence, was made more wretched, as I thought, than fleeplefs hunger could have made it, had I but had a light, and LAFONTAINE to have cheered me. Though, to tell the truth, I was under fuch apprehenfions of the Aborigines of that Country,- the Wolves, that I wifhed more for light by which to efcape, than to ftudy. What gave full force to my terrors, was, that I knew for certain a Wolf had paid a vifit a very little while before, and in the day time too, at a Village thereabout, and made bold with the haunch of a Peafant fleeping in a Barn. * Nor Wolves only, but Bears, wild Boars, and wild Beafts of all kinds crouded upon my imagination ; and J was ready to cry out with the Epicurift, . Genus korriferum Natura ferarum^ Humanee gentl infejlum^ terraque marique^ Cur alit ? Happily I efcaped, without other harm than a cold ; but I took care that my favourite Companion fhould never lead me into fuch another fcrape. * Such accidents are very rare in Summer time : the Wolves inha- bit the inacceflible fummits of the JURA, and feldom defcend unlefs driven by extreme hunger ; or diflodged by f'now. The one which had lately come down was fuppoled to be a female that had loft its ^ To xxii D EDUCATION. To get thorough infight into LAFONTAINE, and to acquire his manner, I not only read him again, and again ; but I tranflated fome of his Fables almoft literally into profe. That tafk, however, I fpon gave up ; not only from the impolTibility of transfufing the fpirit of one language into another, but that. MINERVA lias given me too much, or too little genius, for fuch employ. Certainly I have not the patience and perfeverance neceflary Verbum verbo reddere. Inftead of which I undertook a very free tranflation in verfe : changing the thoughts, and paraphrafing the wit: till I thought myfelf tolerably adept in his art. Then I ventured to dig for myfelf into the precious mines of ESOP, APTHONIUS, PH-#DRUS, and others. Though I muft own, there are alfo in this collection ten or twelve of bafer metal ; a factitious compofition of my own, ftill ftamped after LAFONTAINE'S man- ner. Which thofe particular Fables are it can fcarcely be expected of me to point out : any more than it could be required of a Jew Fabricator, or an Italian Vender of modern- Antiques to declare which of his Articles were counterfeits. It is being tolerably honeft, as the World goes, to apprize the Reader that there are two forts. Befide, would it not be paying him too bad a compliment, and myfelf too good a one, to DEDICATION. fuppofe he could not diftinguifh them, without any indication from me ? A Swifs Friend of mine, whofe Vineyards were at LA COTE, piqued himfelf upon growing excellent Wine ; but, aware of People's prejudice in favour of what is rare, and foreign, he ufed to tell his Guefts, ' Meffieurs, there is Old- Hock, as well as Cote Wine * upon the table j though the Bottles are only labelled * No. i and 2. Pleafe to tafte of both, and flick to * whichever you prefer.' In fuch fort would I addrefs my Readers. cc Mef- *' dames and Meffieurs, I have fet variety of Fables ' before you. Examine them all well : and thoffr *' which you like beft, commend the moft: without " regard to the Inventor ; whether ESOP, PHJE- " DRUS, LAFONTAINE, or Your humble Servant." But, a further reafon for my not diftinguifhing the Fables of my own invention from the others, was, that it might look like putting in a claim to thofe only; whereas I prefutne to call the reft my own. For, excepting two or three very (hort ones, told {im- ply, and without embellimment ; and about as many copied from LAFONTAINE, I challenge the whole as my property. My claim may, very likely, be called in queftion and atxiv DEDICATION. and I (hall be told, I have no more right to the al~ iered Fables, than a Thief has to the Horfes he has ft61en, becaufe, forfooth, he has contrived to difguife them b) altering their marks. The Cafes, I truft, are not exa&ly parallel. I do not like to be called a Thief, in jeft : not even a lite- rary one ; a Plagiary. I have fpfead my Toils, 'tis true : and caught a many animals. But are not Lions, Wolves, and fuch likeferts natura:? Granted, that many of them have PHJEDRUS'S, or LA- FONTAINE'S marks upon them, having been in their Menageries ; can either of them prove any better title than temporary poffeflion ? To go back to ESOP himfelf, whom we call the Father of Fable ; upon what ground do we call him -fo ? Upon none ; but on conjecture. Is there any Manufcript of ESOP'S extant ? Have we any good teftimony that he ever wrote a fmgle Fable? That he was a witty Fellow the whole World agrees. And fo was LORD CHESTERFIELD; and Qy i N ; and JOE MILLER eke : but I queftion if they were the Authors of a tithe of the notable fay- ings, which go under their names refpeftively. Ne- verthelefs, it may happen in the courfe of a thoufand vears, that fome interefted Compiler will collecl: them all, and what more he can gather, into one vaft vo- lume, and afcribe them to KILLIGREW, or fome other DEDICATION. xxv other notorious Jefter. And of this we are fure, the anachronic blunders can not be more glaring than thofe in many Fables falfely aicribed to ESOP. I do not mean to revive Difputes which hitherto have tended to no other purpofe than to mow the acrimony of Men even of Letters, but, I would weaken the force of the objection that may be made to my Book, for not being entirely original. Though my vanity is fo great, that I think I have acquired fomething of LAFONTAINE'S Manner; im- agine not, SIR, that I pretend to have attained his Excellence. Not that I think that fo abfoluteJy un- attainable, as fome have thought ,-ut, let me not fay any thing to leffen him in the opinion of the World : no : that would look like Envy ; a paffion which did not actuate me, when I undertook this Work. (Non bac INVJDIA, verum eft /EMULATIO.) If ever I be bafe enough to injure the fame of true genius^ may the Waters of Hippocrene be poifon to me. As long as French Literature lafts LAFONTAINE muft mine with great refplendence. But, as he mines jn another Hemifphere ; as FRANCE is the meridian of his glory ; the only benefit we can receive muft be from the reflexion of his rays. And, until a fitter Planet be formed, I would fain ferve as the ufeful Body to reflect his light. And if thought well of by the In- d habitants xxvi DEDICATION. habitants of Britain, I fhall account my ftation very honourable. VIRGIL himfelf, (Dlvinum illud Latino; Poefeos borrowed his light from THEOCRITUS, HE- SIOD, and HOMER ; as TERENCE did his from ME- NANDER. HORACE (though in a lefs degree) was beholden to PINDAR ; and PHJEDRUS altogether to- ESOP. The P'ables in the Greek^ are Diamonds in the rough; in the Latin^ they are cut and polilhed. JEsopus author quam materlam repperitj Hanc Ego polivi verjibus fenariis. ESOP was a Philofopher; and PHJEDRUS was a Poet. But they were both Slaves. LAFONTAINE was well born ; and well educated ; and was his own Mafter : (as much fo as any Subject can be in FRANCE :) he was tolerably eafy in his circum fiances : until inatten- tion to his affairs- *(the too common reproach of ge- nius) Hnade him otherwife. A Penfion, however, and the Patronage of thofe amongft the Great of kin- dred fouls, enabled him to live as much in the Beau Monde as was agreeable to a Man of Letters, naturally referved, and taciturne : for, except with felet friends, he fpoke little. In large and mixed Companies, he was filent ; making obfervations and reflections ; to enable himfelf to fpeak well afterwards on paper. Such were the advantages LAFONTAINE pofiefled. And DEDICATION. xxvii And his Fables, the pleafanteft Satires that ever were penned, have been the adequate refult. When LAFONTAINE is the theme I know not how to leave off. Arid yet, the more I fpeak of his Book, the lefs I am inclined to mention my own : which muft be done, however, fooner or later. Having fo very recently, and fo highly extolled his Satire, what mail I fay of mine ? That if it is not quite fo ftrong, it is not without force ? And of my Wit, that if it is not quite fo keen, it is not altogether with- out edge ? In truth, I have not been fo ambitious to mine, as anxious to pleafe. But, my chief ftudy has been to be ufeful. For, ( as PH -ffi D R u s well obferves, ) Niji ut'ile eft quodfacimuS) Jlulta eft Gloria. " Unlefs our labours have a ufeful tendency, Applaufe is emptinefs." A fentiment fo juft ought to be engraven, by way of motto, upon every Author's inkftand. For his own fake, as well as for the Public's. The Talents fpoken of in the Parable refer in particular to the Fa- culties of the Mind; for the mifapplication of which * unprofitable Servants will be caft into outer darknefs.' Happily for the World it grows refined in theory, however grofs it may be in practice. Which, though a feeming paradox, is certainly true, For, to the ho- nour xxviii DEDICATION. nour of the age be it fpoken, if we except * Tht 1 rials for adultery,' which ought not to be publifhed, and ' A Magazine or two,' which ought to be fup- prefled, Literature is tolerably chafte. The obfcene Productions, which fo delighted our Anceftors, would not only be hifled off the ftage now, but they would not be admitted into the Clofets of any, fave old hack- neyed Lechers, and thoughtlefs, difTolute Apprentices. Since, then, the 'Men are fomewhat fcrupulous in their lecture, to whom, or to what (hall we afcribe the general depravednefs of Morals? To the im- proper le^ure of the Women r -To the pernicious in-r fluence of NOVELS:- Verily, I believe we may. Novel-reading, I take to be the fource from whence corruption flows. Excepting the admirable !\oveis of RICHARDSON, FIELDING, GOLDSMITH, SMOLLET, BROOKE, BURNEY, and a few others, every thing which goes under that title ought to be burned by the Common Hangman. If Books of Chivalry could be fuppofed to derange the intellects of fuch a Man as V^UIXOTE is defcribed to be; how mould Women-Girls in the heigh day of their blood, when their reafon is as feeble, as their paflions are ftrong, how mould they keep their fenfes ; when no other Books are put into their hands, but Novels; which are exprefsly calculated to make young folks DEDICATION. xxix folks run riot. In NOVELS only Sin is made amiable, and depkled beautiful. There is not a Vice fo odious but is therein palliated, or excufed ; and, not feldom, commended : no Crime fo great but is therein au- thorized by a new Code, called '" SENTIMENT."' A word derived from fentir, to feel ; and is happily exprelfive of the fundamental principle of Novelifm ; which is, tha every one mould act from his own im- mediate feeling, from his own whim, and fancy, from the imprelfions of the moment ; without regard to the eftablifhed forms of decency, morality, and re- ligion. In fhort, the doclrine of Novelifm tends fo immediately to debauch the mind, and, in due courfe, the body, that I would as foon, a Son of mine mould marry a >Voman out of a Brothel, as one whofe conftant lecture has been iNOFELS. On this fubje6l I have written more at large in a Work which may one day appear. At prefent, hav- ing deplored the pernicious effects of Novel-reading I have only to add, that, as I fear there is no antidote to-,this poifon when once received into the mind, no remedy for the Perfon infected with this peftilence, fo is there but one poffible way of preventing the contagion fpreading : and that is by the Reviewers continuing to watch over this, as well as the other de- partments of literature ; founding the alarm, from time to xxx DEDICATION. to time : and noticing particularly the Houfes of the Bookfellers, and the Garrets of the Authors where the Plague rages with the greateft violence. The Reviewers are to be pitied, in that they are conftrained, as literary Phyficians, to vifit fuch infec- tious Quarters, and have to touch petechial bodies; neverthelefs, we are fure, they will not mrink from their duty. It remains, then, with the Keepers of Circulating Libraries, and the Mailers and Miftrefles of Families to take care, not to give admiflion to any Novels but thofe which have a certificate of health, figned by the Reviewers. As Utility, that is, the Improvement of Mankind, was the object I had chiefly in view in conftru^ting thefe Fables, I took efpecial care to found them on the folid ground of Religion. Although 1 was obliged, in conformity to the genius of Fable, to make ufe of the names and characters of the ethnic Mythology, the doctrines I have inculcated are thofe of Christianity. My political Creed is fuch as every thinking Reader muft fubfcribe to ; for it is formed on the Principles laid down by your Predeceflbr BLACK STONE, in his * c Commentaries on the Laws of England;" and by YOURSELF, in the Elements of Jurisprudence " At one DEDICATION. xxxi one and the fame time am I a ftrenuous Aflertof of civil Liberty, and ready to take up arms, (if occafion were) againft the Encroachments of SOVEREIGN POWER, but,-- whilft the KING confines himfelf within the li- mits prefcribed by the Conftitution, he has not a more dutiful or allegiant fubje6l than I am : nor any one who would fooner arm in his defence. As far as Variety goes towards keeping up the atten- tion, I may venture to aflure the Reader, he will not yawn over this Work : for, befides the common tran- fition of Fables, from one fubje& to another, I have made ufe of almoft every kind of Metre. By changing the fabric of my Verfe fo often, certainly I have confulted the Reader's Liking more than my own advantage. For, by fo much the more trouble it gave me, fo much lefs chance I had of attaining to excellence. It is by uniform practice, and attention to one fort of flyle, and one meafure only, that an Au- thor can acquire facility in writing. DR. JOHNSON has attributed POPE'S excellence in verification to this Very circumftance. And, I hope I may fay it without offence to MR. HAYLEY, when his Mufe, who had a graceful gait of her own, attempted to, trip it to ANSTEY'S meafure, (he made a very aukward, and ungraceful appearance. When BUTLER, who was fo ex- xxxii DEDICATION. excellent in one kind of metre that it has been cal- led, after the name of his Hero, budibrajlic verfe, > when BUTLER quitted that meafure which was fo eafy and familiar to him, and attempted BOILEAU'S, and other Satires, in decafyllabie verfe, his Pegalus grew reftif ; and refufed to obey the hand of its former Matter. So difficult it is, if not impoffible, for thofe even of the very firft rate abilities to excel more ways than one. Why, then, (I mall be afked) did not I take the prudent courfe which GAY has taken for his babies, and ftand a chance for excellence ? Becaufe 1 defpaired of attaining to his perfection ; and therefore would not that my Work mould be put in comparifon with his. And, becaufe, I had taken for Exemplar LA FON- TAINE, whofe varied meafure was better adapted to my own whimfical and capricious genius. Thefe Fables will be found to vary as much in Length as Metre. Some of them are of four or fix lines only, and others of as many hundred. Thefe latter, I confefs, are much, very much too long, though I could name, for precedent, the ingenious MR. MOORE ; whofe whole volume confifts of only fixteen Fables. It has been a queftion with Commentators, 4 Whe- DEDICATION. xxxiii Whether the Moral mould ftand at the beginning or at the end of the Fable?' I make no fcruple in anfwering, Neither at one, nor the other, inva- riably, But commonly at the end. For the Reflec- tion grows more naturally out of the Fable, than the Fable out of the Reflection. There is no neceflity, however, for the Moral's ftanding either at the beginning, or at the end ; or apart from the Fable ; but as part of it. Oft times the Leflbn is inculcated to greateft advantage in the Middle: or, is fo intimately blended with the Story itfelf, as to require neither diftinct place, nor characters of di- ftinction. And at'fuch times, when one Moral is obvi- ous to ever/ Reader as he runs along ; another, a partial one, may be afterwards pointed out, by the Author. The Greek Fabulifts, indeed, (or their officious Editors,) have tacked an E7n/*y0iov at the end of every Fable. But, fo difguftingly dry, flat, and infipid are their reflections, that they are fit only for mere Children. The Latin ones are not quite fo dull : but I muft fay, even PH^DRUS himfelf is too formal and pedantic a Preceptor. LAFONTAINE, with the advantage of being born, in later, and more enlightened times, and under ci- vilized manners, has reaped all the benefit to be ex- pected therefrom. He has appropriated no particular place to Precepts, and to Gravity, Under the names e and xxxiv DEDICATION; and forms of Animals, he has defcribed the modes of- human life. His are not mere Stories of Cocks and Bulls : he turns Mens thoughts upon themfelves : laughing at the foibles, and laming the vices of Man- kind. His Fables expofe to us our Faults, and his Morals teach us to amend them. Such, SIR, are the impreffions I have received from the lecture of ancient and modern Fables. How far thefe of mine are conformable thereto, I leave to You and the Public to decide. And for this, amongft other reafons, I publim a Volume only at a time; that, receiving the benefit of correftion, I may fend fucceedingones into theWorld.with fewer imperfections. Not that I pledge myfelf to follow this up imme- diately with more Fables, although I have fo many by me. Ne quid nimis^ is the motto of the Mufe my Patronefs : who is not, like THALIA, always on a titter; nor ever whimpering, like MELPOMENE: l?ut, whimfical, verfatile, various : never two days to- gether in the fame humour ; and not often two hours : Sed modo Iccta manet ; vultus modo fumit acerbos : Et tantum con/lans in levitate fu a e/t. By this defcription you will take her, poflibly, to be a terreftrial Goddefs ; a fine Lady of this World. No, Sir. N't me ludit amabilis Infania^ She is not pnly of the divine Sifterhood, O^u/^Tria SU/MIT x, K~" but the Lady Abbefs hejrfelf; CALLIOPE, Regina ; ftillfui D ED I C A r I N. xxxv fldllful on all inftruments. And I, her Votary, a thrummer upon many. As the Reader may find fome day, to his coft ; if I mould be at the pains of colle&jng my fcattered Leaves. Out of prudence, perhaps, I had better let. them remain difperfed ; as the Sibyl, out of indolence, left hers. Nee revocare Jitus, aut j linger e carmina cur at. In this, SIR, I mould be moft happy to have your judgement to direct me. At all times, and under all circumftances, your criticifms would be invaluable : but more, particularly now ; fitua.te4 as I am ; a Sojourner in a ftrange Province. The only Perfon, hereabout of fuperior abilities, with whom I am at all intimate, has fo little predilection for Poetry, that he is not acquainted even with the Works of the great HAYLEY. To have mown him my Fables in Manu- fcript, by way of amufing him, would have been to prove myfelf in reality as vain, as in burlefque fometimes I would appear. To have read them to him for my own fake, claiming his criticifms as I went along, would have been to impofe upon him a difagreeabje tafk, which our acquaintance was not of long (landing enough to warrant. Whereas I might without fcruple tax a friendfhip of fuch very old date as yours. When you can- allow yourfelf relaxation from your feverer {Indies, this Book will be much honoured by your regard. And let me beg of you to favour me with your free and full remarks upon it. PrefTed, xxxvi DEDICATION. Fretted as the Public Critics are with Works of Li- terature, fome of great merit, and others of import- ance, this little Volume cannot expect from them much notice : unlefs, indeed, it be from the CRITICAL REVIEWERS ; who thought both my former Publica- tions worthy of their particular note. Of their Ac- count of the latter I (hall beg leave to extrait a Paflage, not only becaufe I am proud of their general commen- dation, but am ready to acknowledge the juftice of their partial cenfure. " The old Tale of SOCRATES AND XANTiPPE ? the_/?orw)> Tale terminated by the Sboiver, is humoroufly verfified in the little pam- phlet now before us. We need not enlarge on the fubjecl, but muft exprefs our approbation of the Author's talents in the burlefque ftyle. MR. WALLSECK might have obtained more of our praile, if his humorous levity, in one or two pafTages, had been better re- ftraincd ; though we mould add, that we have met with nothing very exceptionable. The following advice makes ample amends for any tranfitory error." ( Then follow the felefled Stanzas. ) The exceptionable words, to which my Critical Ad- monijh'er alludes, were fuch as firft prefented themfelves to my indignant mind, but they mall certainly be al- tered before the TALE goes again to prefs. To liberal Criticifm I mail ever pay the greateft de- ference ; as you will find, whenever you favour me with yours. / am, SIR, Tour much obliged Friend, And obedient humble Servant, THE AUTHOR. FABLES; ANCIENT and MODERN AFTER THE MANNER OF L A F O N ? A I N E< 1. AT PLAY: AS E SOP was with boys at play, A grave Athenian pafs'd that way ; And flraight began to mock at him : 4 Was ever fo abfurd a whim ! ' What will the Academics fay, * Hearing that ESOP ftoops to play c With Children ? O, MINERVA! when * Will men behave themfelves like men?' Th' apoftrophe made ESOP fmile, Who yet kept playing all the while. B But, 2 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN' 4 But, tell us, (the Athenian crks) 4 You who affect to be fo wife, 4 What is your reafon ? Doubtlefs, you ' Some reafon have for what you do.' 4 See you that unjlrung Bow that lays 1 Eefide you ?' Esop quaintly fays. * I fee it plain enough : what then . ?> 1 But look at it t grave Sir, again.' 4 Pfhaw ! this is childifhnefs : I fee 1 The Bow : what anfwer is't to me ?' ESOP at his impatience fmiled : 1 Which of us, think you, is the child ? 4 Or,Jhall I out with it at once, c Which of us, think you, is the dunce ? Can any thing in nature Jhoiv 4 My meaning better than that Bow? 4 Were't always ft rung, for ever bent, 4 Its force clajt ic would be fpent. 4 But being, when unufed, left loofe, 1 "Tis Jlronger, fitter far for life. 4 'Tisfo exaftly with the human mind: 4 Who keeps it on the ft retch for aye, will find 4 Itsjlrength impaired; and, when too late, repent 4 It was nr>t now and then with play unbent.' FABLE AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 3 FABLE IL THE Two CRABS. A CRAB at bottom of the ocean Was heard her daughter to deride ; f Arrah, my Dear ; keep ftill that motion : * And don't walk forward all a-fide.' Young CRAB replies, { Is't not a ihame You of all folks mould keep this bother ? * Pray, which of us is more to blame ? 1 Who fit tb' example? I) or mother?' So plain this Fable's moral is, It cannot conftrued be amifs. Exatt not of your child what you Find it impojjible to do. father,] This word in common ufe with the Irifli, has afignifieation almoft fimilar to CMC pother -, but of greater ftrength, and energy. FABLE 4 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN; F A B L E III. The GRASSHOPPER and the ANT. A GRASSHOPPER, who blithe and gay Had danced the Summer months away, Forgetting Winter was to tome, Laid no provifion in at home : Nor wheat, nor rye, or good or bad ; No flock of any kind he had. Shivering with cold, and pinch'd with want, He hies him to the thriftier ANT; * Dear Creature, be fo kind (fays he) c To lend me from your granary c Some twenty thoufand grains of wheat,- c Barley, or any thing to eat. In Autumn next I'll pay the whole, c With thanks: I will, upon my foul.' < / cannot fay ', (replies the ANT) 1 Lajl harvejl was fo very fcant, 1 Whether I any have to fpare. 1 But, prithee^ tell me firft^ where are 5 Your pledges ; your fecurity P < What, THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 5 4 What is't you mean ; to talk to me 4 Of pledges, and fecurky? 4 Good Mafter Cit, that's too abfurd : c Is't not enough I pledge my word ? * We GRASSHOPPERS are Gentlemen, 4 Although we borrow now and then.' 4 From me far be it to difpute 4 The word of fuch a well-born brute. 4 An humble Citizen to fcan 4 The condutt of a Gentleman ! 4 O Jie.But, if without offence, 4 7 might, in name of Common Senjt:, 4 Demand, great Sir, what have you done 4 With all your wealth ? Or, had you none ? ' If of your own no flocks, nor lands * You had, why not employ your hands, 4 Or head, in Summer, to contrive c How in the Winter you might live ?' 4 That's true, (the GRASSHOPPER replies;) 4 I mould have done't, had I been wife. 4 Inftead of which, the Summer through, 4 Pleafure alone I had in view : 4 Frequented all the public places; *> 4 Drefs'd in embroidery, and laces; 4 And ftudied nothing but the graces : J 4 Talk'd with the Lords ; danced with the Ladies, ': Once with a Dutchefs j who afraid is ?' 4 / vuijb FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: c I wijh you joy, with all my heart. * Good morning, Sir: you may depart. 1 Your fortune muft be far advanced * With thofe fair Dames with whom you (lanced. 1 Call at their doors ; // were a Jin, 4 Should they refufe to let you in. ' What ! , Such a fprightly Spark as you, c That caper' d all the Summer through I 1 I'll lay my life e'/, you can ftng y ' Cold as the weather ;V, //'// Spring. " To dance and Jing" 's a pretty trade- :-?+ * Go to the Ladies ; - who's afraid.' . FABLE AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 7 FABLE 17. The OLD MAN and DEATH. AN aged HIND returning from the wood With faggots on his back, too great a load, He let them falj, and, with the world at ftrife, Began in petulance on DEATH to call : 1 Ah ! Would that DEATH, he who alleviates all, * Would come, and put a period to my life ! ' The hideous SKELETON before him ftands, As foon as call'd; and afks him c His commands?' (Shaking his dart) " Now -jhall 1 end your pain?" The OLD MAN frighten'd turns his face away ; And fcarce, with fault'ring accent can he fay, . 4 My faggots have fall'n off; pray lift them on again.* Who would fardles beaf And groan and fweat under a weary life, But' that the dread of fomething after death, (That undifcover'd country, from whofe bourne No Traveller returns,) puzzles the will ; And makes us rather bear thofe ills we have, Than fly to others that we know not of? SHAKSPERE. This admirable Reflexion of our immortal Bard's is fo appofite to the FABLE, that I have no doubt he had it in his mind^s eye, when he penned that part of HAMLET'S Soliloquy. For having inferred it in the ftead of any Moral I could have drawn, no Reader of ienfe will find fault with me : and as to others, who have no relifh, but for novelty ; and who prefer every thing that is new, becaufe it is new ; I exclude them all together from the Temple of Tafte, Ej, vta$ lifts. $E?nMl< FABLE 8 FABLES ANTIENT AND MODERN FABLE V. The BOY ASLEEP and FORTUNE. AThoughtlefs SCHOOLBOY, tired with play, Was fleeping by a river's fide : FORTUNE, who chanced to pafs that way> Waked him, and thus began to chide: 4 Was ever little Urchin found ' In greater peril ! Up, for fhame : * Had you, by your own fault, been drown'd, 4 / had unjuftly born the blame.' 'TIS the fame Ji&ry with us all: Whatever foolijh things we do ; Whatever fcrapes we get into j Dante FORTUNE to account we call. AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 9 FABLE VI. The Two CATS and the MONKEY. AT Midnight, when the Novice fleeps, The lufty Friar from his cell To the expedting Abbefs creeps. How they keep vigil, need I tell ? Prowlers of every kind and fort, At dark, their hiding-places leave ; Some bent on mifchief; fome on fport: Thefe to take pleafure, thofe to thieve. ONE night, whilft Goodman PLOUGHSHARE flepf, Two CATS into his larder crept, Through broken pane ; and ate their fill ; And carried prog away at will : Small articles : but left behind The larger ; much againft their mind. Some beef in fait ; and flitch of bacon ; Good of their kind : or I'm miftaken. But nothing feem'd fo well to pleafe Their nerves olfadt'ry as a Cheefe : 10 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: A STILTON one : and I defy All PARMA; and all ITALY; And SCHOPZEGA ; and GRUYIERES ; (More famed for Cheefes now, than Bears,) To make a better. 'T was fo good, Our CATS, who Eating underftood, Declared, in all their lives that they Ne'er took fo good a one away. They roll'd it round and round, and fain ^ Would pafs it through the broken pane : > They tried their utmofl >but in vain. J The difappointment much provoked Their Catmips ; they their whifkers ftroked, Indignantly; their teeth they gnalh'd; And fwollen tails with fury lam'd. GRIMALKIN imprecations mumbled In a low mewl ; and growl'd, and grumbled : But t'other, TABBY Reprobate, In louder accents curs'd his fate. " May furies, demons, mad dogs tear. * ('Tis no ne"w thing for Cats to fwear) . My vitals, as I do this hair. " He ftopp'd ; and from his brindled cheft Tore hair enough to've made a neft, (Inftead of male if he had been A female,} to have kitten'd iri. Curft AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. n " Curft fortune ! Shall we all night toil " N For nothing ! Labour fo, and moil, " Torment us, tantalize and teafe, " With the vain hope of fuch a cheefe ! " If we can't compafs it ere day, " May LETHUM take my lives away; " All nine of 'em ! My death is built on " The difappointment of this Stilton." c Hold ! impious Epicure ; (replies 4 GRIMALKIN ;) " vent not blafphemies. c I've hit upon a way, I trow, To do it.'- Have you? ghumodo?" c Obferve. I'll do it by myfelf.' He faid; and roll'd it off the flielf. Expedient fortunate : for, lo ! The Cheefe, by falling, broke in two. And, what, when whole it could not do, - The window pafs, at twice went through. Superlative felicity ! What happier Cats on earth could be ? None, you would think. O ! fad reverfe. Thieving's attended with this curfe; What, at the hazard of their lives, Rogues get, not only never thrives, But ev'n in maring, they fall out, Nine times in ten, their fpoil about. 12 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN": The piece of Cheefe, which 'twixt her paws GRIMALKIN held, the larger was ; A very little ; but enough To put young TABBY in a huff. From him, the moft irafcible Of Cats, thefe ireful accents fell. " Think not, fo cunning as you are, " To carry off that larger mare. " I've often heard, and find it true, " GRIMALKIN, there's no trufling you. ' " You bring up thieves ; and cheat 'em too. " But fancy not, I am fo young " To let grey whifkers do me wrong. u No : you mall do me fully right ; " Give me that piece : or forthwith fight."' GRIMALKIN who not fighting loved; And was not eafy to be moved ; When he faw TABBY'S choler rile, And lightning flashing from his eyes, Refolved if poffible t' appeafe . His fury, and yet keep the Cheefe, ' Yes, TAB, you 're young, and very young, * To think that I would do you wrong. 4 On no account would I offend, ' And much lefs cheat fo dear a friend. If AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 13 4 If I decline with you to fight * It is not that I mean to flight 1 Your years ; be fure, I know your worth ; 1 There's not a braver Cat on earth. 4 But, 'twere a pity fight we Ihou'd ; < No j I'll not fpill fuch precious blood. 4 As to our mares, I do not know c Mine larger is ; but be it fo ; c Recall to memory, if you pleafe, * Which of us firft fmelt out the Cheefe : c And by whofe artifice and wit, 4 We got, and are enjoying it.' After much wrangling, noife, and pother ; Spluttering, and fpitting at each other, Till they were weary : they agreed * Straightway to JUSTICE PUG to fpeed, And before him their caufe to plead. J The Parties to the JUSTICE come, Are mown into his Worlhip's room : Where in an elbow-chair he fat, Lolling with magifterial ftate. c Well, Sirs, -what bufmefs brings you here f 4 What are thofe parcels you have there ?' 444 Shall I not fwear 'em ?'" . As you pleafe : 4 And) harkec ! don't forget your fees. 1 The f FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN! The Parties fworri ; the millings paid ; GRIMALKIN waved his paw, and faid : * May't pleafe your Wormip, TAB and I c Agreed a Stilton Cheefe to buy ; * We bought one : took it home, and tried ' In equal portions to divide 4 The fame : and equal fure they are ; c But TAB thinks mine the larger mare, * I, knowing your decifions true, c Moft willingly appeal to you.' " An' pleafe your Worfliip, TABBY cries. " This cream-lapper, with Tiger eyes * " But in his heart a very Moufe, 4C Would fain me-^-valorous TABBY, -choufe. u This co\vard wretch who dares not fight, " Would cheat a Hero of his right. " I come to you, Sir, for redrefs ; u Unwillingly, I muft confefs : " For, rather I by force of paw " Would battle it, than force of Law." PUG puffs his cheeks, and looking big, Draws forward his enormous wig; * This cream-lapper, with Tiger ey?s&c. Prefllng AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 15 Preffing it clofe : elfe might they fee Where his two auricles jhou,ld be : For, long time fince were both his ears Cut off, with certain wooden fhears, Yclept a Pillory, wherein ~\ For theft, and other petty fin, Such as falfe-fwearing, he had been. J Since made a JUSTICE, from belief No one's fo fit to catch a thief, (As the' old proverb fays,) as He That pralifed is in thievery. Who elfe fhould know their haunts fo well ?- Their various arts, and tricks who tell ? All Magiftrates the trade fhould learn. ** Thefe have been Rogues ; and thofe read BURN. > The worft are they, who, from a turn J Litigious, get into the Quorum ; And drive their Neighbours all before 'em. Some for the honour only pant : And others occupation want. There are, indeed,- (would more there were!) Magiftrates who the office bear With dignity : on it reflect A luitre ; and command refpech Such we our Country's Worthies term : Who, not officious are, but firm : Who, l6 'FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: Who, to the Poor impartial law Deal out ; and keep the Rich in awe. Who, nor .connexions have, nor friends, So long as any Suit depends ; But fit, whoe'er the Parties be, In for o CONSCIENTIJE. Who, not intimidated are By Ruffians' threats ; but fearlefs wear The fword ; and no Delinquents fpare : For cowardice, or mercy ihown, Through a falfe tendernefs, to one, Thoufands and thoufands has undone. He who the feelings of his heart Confults, can act no public part. But, you muft not mifconftrue me Into undue feverity. When the Cafe will of doubt admit, You muft the Prifoner acquit. Better that twenty guilty mou'd ' Efcape, than we mould fhed the blood 4 Of one man innocent.' So fays The Englifh Law, to England's praife. I would afk pardon of the Reader, For turning here a Special Pleader ; But that the Mufe's aberration Is for the good of all the nation. A P - AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 17 Apparent my defign, I truft is, A wholefome Lecture upon Juftice. Into COMMISSION I would urge Wife Men : and Fools, and Scoundrels fcourge. But, to my Fable. PUG, who loved Good Cheefe, was by the odour moved : And, coughing confequentially, Says to the Clerk ; c Hem ! Let me fee 4 This Stilton. MITTIMUS \-~Where are c My Scales? I ought to have a pair.' <" You ought : (the Clerk farcaftic fays :) *" There was a pair in DIGNUS' days. c " But the firft time your Worfhip came " You bent, and after broke the beam.'" ' // is no matter, PUG replies ; 1 J have, thank JOVE, a pair of eyes * That) without fpefJacles, can fee 4 Which of thefe pieces larger be. 4 Ay : this is it : 'tis, therefore, fit c / nibble off a little bit. * Delicious fBut, I have not to* en " Off quite eiiough : /'// try again.- * ' Odfo ! I've to" en too much, I trow .' < The other feems the bigger now. D The l8 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN" J c The only difficulty lies * In bringing t'other to this fi-ze. ' /'// dofo -- Fob IHow bad a guefs ! 4 This which too large was, is the lefs. 4 /'// try again ; I'llfpare no pains, * Whilft any of the Cheefe remains. * To fay the worft of it, 'tis good', ' And is, befides, my favourite food. 1 Happily, too ; my appetite ' Is keen : I'll have another bite.' The CATS at length began to Cut relifh'd not, the MONKEY'S joke : Their fhares fo rapidly diminifh'd, Two other bites the whole had finifh'd : Which made GRIMALKIN thus addrefs, In hafie, the JUSTICE ; f Sir, you guefs- * So very badly ; if you pleafe, * We will ourfelves divide the Cheefe : 4 I rather fhould have faid the Hind ; * For cheefe it would be hard to find. * Ah ! Would we had been fatisfied ; * And not YOUR WORSHIP to applied ! * If it is thus you juftice do ; 4 'Tis the laft time we'll come to you. 4 We did not mean to cram your maw 4 Voracious : No: we wanted Law.' IV AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 19 c Ye Oafs ! Ye know not what ye want, * Law ! Is not Law a Cormorant /" * It feems fo, Sir : but pray you fpare c The reft : the Law has had her mare.' c Firft ; have you cafh to pay your fee 3 ? 1 If 'not ', the remnant of the Cheefe c Muft go my Clerk to fatisfy. 1 MITTIMUS takes the fees > not /.' " E'en take it, then ; and, Sir ; if e'er " We come again to you, to fhare " Our property, we'll pay you double, Ay, treble charges, for your trouble. " We underftand your Law ; we fmoke you :- f5 Keep the Cheefe rind, and " may it choak you." FABLE 2O FABLES; ANCIENT AND MO3ERNT : F A S L E VII. The MILLER, and his MULE. W Retched the Land which is War's theatre ! Nobles and Peafants live in constant fear. At the lead noife, at every little ftir, , They ftart, and cry ' The Enemy is near.* A MILLER once, alarm'd, urged on his BEAST ; " Hafte ! or we fhall be ta'en. O, dire difafter !" The MULE replies, c I'm not in fo ?nuch hafte : 1 / cannot be ivorfe off^ whoe'er' s my Majhr.* There is one way, and only one, to bind Dependants : Be compaflionate, and kind. When Subjects are thought worth their Prince's care^ Then will they prove how well attach'd they are. O'er BRITAIN ever jhould a Tyrant reign; And dare attack our Liberties again : I truft there will be Patriots in the Land Ready to wreft the Sceptre from his hand. But, thanks to Heaven, we've now upon the Throne, A KING who makes our Interefts his own. Long may he live : and HIS SUCCESSOR prove Difcreet^ and worthy of his People's Love. FABLE AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 21 FABLE VIII. The BUTTERFLY and the D o v E. A BUTTERFLY, though in decline Of life, ftill vaunted to a DOVE j c He was a gallant Libertine.' And laugh'd at Conftancy in Love. 4 Oh ! what a contraft I could draw * Betwixt my gay, and your dull life \ * Each pretty BUTTERFLY I faw c I kifs'd : you've, only kifs'd your wife. 1 'Tis true, times are a little changed ; * When young I had them at my call $ * From one to other freely ranged : c Now they avoid me, one and all.' ' Yes : you have much to boaft, in footh / > ' The DOVE replies^ in fat ire bold. c With Harlots you, have pafs'd your youth : c And they difpife you^ now you're old, 6 How J& FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN I < How much more happily We livc^ ' JFhom^ as infipid^ you defpife : * But you miftake ; ive DOVES can give * Example to you BUTTERFLIES. c Inftead of your unhallowed fires - t 4 Tour guilty ', tranfitory joy ; 4 HYMEN improves our chafte defer es : * Felicity without alloy. 6 Love which in youth takes kindly root t 1 Does every day more vigorous prove. ' In age itfelfit yields us fruit : < 'Tis FRIENDS HIP grafted upon LOVE:. FABLE AFTER THE MANNER OF 1.AFONTAINE. .rrf-T F- A B L E IX. The DOG and bis S H A.D o W. .. A LURCHER, a notorious thief, From fhambles ftole a piece of Beef . To take it home, he needs muft pafs A Stream : the ftream, as fmooth as glafs, Prefented feemingly to view Another Dog ; like loaded, too : Forthwith a plunge the LURCHER made, In greedy hope to fpoil the SHADE : And as he open'd wide his chops To do fo, down his own piece drops. This doggijh Character is meant For every one, who, not content With his pofleffions, cafts an eye Towards his neighbour's properly. To thofe whom jeeringly we call NABOBS what ufe their ill-got fpoil? Loaded 24 FABLES} ANCIENT AND MODERN: Loaded with Wealth if they return From INDIA, they for Honours burn. That, which they might enjoy, they lofe By the exteniion of their views. Nobles in fplendour they outvie : Build Palaces ; and Boroughs buy ; . Till brought again to poverty. Much might they with their fortunes do Be liked : almoft refpe&ed too. But, far from being courteous, they Grow more imperious every day. So far from ftriving to do good, They're curfes to their neighbourhood. And, living to no worthy end, Die without having made a Friend. AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 25 FABLE X. The Fox and the W o L F. BY fome mifchance poor RENARD fell, Heels-over-head, into a Well. At the laft gafp almoft he lay, When he heard fome one pafs that way : And juft had ftrength enough to yelp ; " Help, charitable Pagan; help!" The WOLF look'd down, and though he found The wretched Creature nearly drown'd, He leifurely harangued him ; c Pray, c What were you doing, Sir, this way ? c Oft as I've prowl'd this Country o'er, 4 I never met you here before : c And now in what condition met ! 1 'Tis ten to one but you are wet. How fell you in ?' " Nay , never wafle " Time in enquiry : prithee, hafte " To help me. When I'm a/, I'll tell " By whit misfortune ;' I fell." How People jlock about a Sir anger- In the Streets dying, or in danger ! 'Tis CURIOSITY, I fear, More than COMPASSION, draws 'em there. E FABLE 26 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: FABLE XL The FARMER, the Fox, and the DOG. BEFORE one hires a Houfe, 'tis good T' enquire about the Neighbourhood. None but a Thief himfelf would choofe To live amongft the DUKE'S-?LACE JEWS. I fhould not like to take a Farm Where Foxes, Wolves, and Vermin fwarm. Not only 'bout one's grounds they roam, By night and day ; And fure as Kids, or Lambkins ftray, Make 'em their prey ; But vifit even our chicken-coops at home. i NATHLESS, a FARMER (fays the Fable) So wary was, a Fox in "vain, Week after week, was ufed to watcti The poultry yard ; and was not able A fingle draggling Chick to catch : He had his ' labour only for his pain.' u .Safe bind) " Safe find." So fays the proverb ; and fo thought our HIND. He AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 27 He every night in henhoufe puts His fowls : and doors and windows fhuts. RENARD, in hope to find fome place unbarr'd, Comes every night into the FARMER'S yard : Into each hole, and corner pries, Not even except the Sties : For he has no diflike to Pig, If very nice, and not too big ! For the fame reafon too, the Glutton Loves Lamb, but cannot manage Mutton. Nought comes amifs that's portable : But if his Fox-fhip were^to choofe, With poultry he would deck his table ; Turkey, or fowl ; or duck, or goofe. For this he comes night after night ; Moon, or no moon ; pitch-dark, or light ; Sundays, Saint-days, and Holidays ; All times of year ; all nights of week ; RENARD'S no Jew, (JOSEPHUS fays;) (And let ME add) no Catholic. If all be faft, he does but ftay "1 To curfe himfelf; that is, to fay A pray'r or two the backward way. J To fay one*s prayers the backward way,] Is not to be taken literally ; as beginning with ' Amen,' and finishing with the firft word ; but in its figurative fenfe. When any one, inftead of humbly acquiefcing in the difpenfations of Providence, calls their fitnefs in queftion ; fticli an i mpious Remonftrance may be termed " Saying one's pravers the backward way." < How 28 FABLES} ANCIENT AND MODERN: 1 How hard my fate, O, partial JOVE ? s Is this your univerfal Love ? 1 Shall fuch a defpicable race 4 As Cocks and Hens your favour reap ; 4 Well fed by day ; and have a place c Wherein at night fecure to ileep ?-? 4 Whilft /, of better parts and worth, ' ' Am forced fo many miles to roam 4 For food : then, hide me in the earth ; 1 A cold uncomfortable home.' Infolent Wretch ! To dare profane The equity of JOVE, becaufe Of other Creatures care was ta'en, That they not fell beneath his paws. It happ'd, hbwe'er, the FARMER having kept Late market once, came home with wine in's head , Of fenfe and cuftomary prudence reft, Leaving his doors unlock'd he went to-bed. To make my ftory fhort : The Fox r Without or forcing bars or locks The Hen-rooft enter'd : you may guefs, (For it would tire the Mule to tell,) How many millions, more or lefs, To glut his maw and fury fell. Sure fuch a day, nor night, I ween, Ry Sun or Moon was ever feen ! Unlefe AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. Unlefs it was when DIOMED Fell upon RHESUS by furprife; And cut off many a Thracian's head, Ere it had time,to ope its eyes. PHOEBUS turn'd pale, as well he might, At fuch a fanguinary fight. 1 PJhaw f What is PHOEBUS to the tale ? ' How turn'd the FARMER ? Was he pale ?' Unlefs it -ivas 'when DIOMED, &e .] This is not the Incident by which LAFONTAINE chofe, in his burlefque way, to illuftrate the mighty Slaughter ; but I think it more appofite than either of thofe which he has felecled, from HOMER. That the Reader, however, may judge between us, I will tranfcribe both his paflages. Tel, et d*unfpelade pareil APOLLON irrite contre lefier ATRIDE, loncbafin champ de marts. On But knocks the old hack up at loft. * Alarnfdtbe MUSES fl^Ap&LLO.] Ithasbeen faid JOVE him- felf was frightened : flJivEy opoff. ZET2 J'f^of E;TO : thinking, perhaps, the Giants were moving Mountains again. But as Poets have more to do with PARNASSUS, than withPELiON orOssA, I have taken the Fable in the fame fenfe HORACE has. FABLE AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 33 F A 5 L E XIII. The DOG, and the CROCODILE. WE Men by reafon, Brutes by inftinft know, Into what Company 'tis fafe to go. Yet, with our boafted reafon, vaunted fenfe, How oft do we mifplace our confidence. To Widows tears we truft, and Harlots fmiles : But DOGS are never fond of CROCODILES. Thefe dreadful Creatures, ^(Crocodiles I mean,) About the Nile fo frequently are feen, That Dogs compell'd by thirft extreme to drink. Not without caution venture to the brink : Nor at one place dare lap till they have done ; But fhift their ground, ftill lapping as they run. A CROCODILE addrefs'd a DOG one day : 4 Why in fuch hafte ? I prithee, honeft TRAY, 4 Let us confabulate a little. Nay ! 4 Now you 're unfociable. Why run away ? 4 If you '11 not talk j e'en ftop, and drink your fill. " Thank you, (fays TRAY ;) another time I will : ' But in good footh, I am fo very my, " I cannot drink when CROCODILES are by." F FABLE 34 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN; F A B L E XIV. The WOLF'S REMONSTRANCE. A WOLF pafs'd by a Shepherd's cot, Juft as a Sheep's-head fmoking hot, Tongue, Brains, and all, was put on table, ' Ye two-legg'd Animals ! (fays he,) 4 Is 't fit ye mould find fault with me, 4 Who are yourfelves fo culpable ? 4 When at your Feafts ye dine, or fup, * Ye eat whole Geefe and Chickens up : * Oft have I caught you in the fat. 4 Nay ; and I tell you to your face, * GOODY ; I heard you once fay grace. * For fhame ! What, glory in the acl ? * If / a hungry WOLF, alack ! ' Now and then take a little fnack, * Of Kid, or Calf, or Lamb, or Mutton ; ' Some Cur the neighbourhood alarms ; * And ye againft me take up arms, * Becaufe, forfooth, I am a Glutton. 3 AS inconfiftent Men tow'rds Men : Yet juft we think ourfelves, as wife. Keen enough others faults to ken, Againft our own we mut our eyes. FABLE AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 35 FABLE XV. The RATS in COMMON-HALL. IN ENGLAND much about the time When Tyranny was in its prime But why mould Englifhmen be pain'd By recollecting now who reign'd So long ago ? No ; let it pafs : 'Tis bootlefs to lament what was. Befides, the Story tells as well Of BEASTS ; and is more laughable. IN days of yore, the RATS, a Nation Of confequence in the Creation, Inhabiting our Ifle, complain'd How favage was the CAT that reign'd : Norman by birth: GRIMALKIN hight ; Stranger to every foft delight. The chace was all he underftood, - And War ; and much he joy'd in blood : So much, that every day he flew A Subject RAT ; and fometimes two. And not content with murdering, eat y And thought them moft delicious meat. Lit'rallyfo; not, as we fay, .French Slaves are fed 'on every day. 36 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: Louis, we know, cannot devour His Subjects, but by metaphor. No more an Anthropophagus Is He than NORTH, who draws from us Our deareft blood : our ca(h, I mean. His Imports make us wond'rous lean ; The richeft of us : but the Poor No longer can his gripe endure. Is 't fit they perifli, to fupport Him ; or THE GREATEST MAN at Court? But hold thy too licentious tongue, My Mufe : The KING can do no wrong,, We muft not thence too much infer. ") Alack ! We know, His MINISTER, And PRIVY COUNSELLORS can err. J Elfe mould we not, as now we do, This hateful, hppelefs War purfue, But We miift not thence too much infer.'] In Abfolute Monarchies the language of fervile adulation fays, ' Indigna digna babenda funf, REX qua: facitC But our maxim, that ' THE KING can do no 'wrong means only, that whatever may be amifs in the conduct of public affairs is not chargeable pedbnally on the KING, but on his MINISTERS. See BLACKSTONE'S COMMENTARIES ; the beft-digefted Code of the beft Laws that ever were promulgated. This hateful, hopclefs WarC\ The War with AMERICA (in which we were engaged when I wrote this Fable) was certainly a hateful one, becaule we were fighting againft our Kindred. Yet rnean I not to adduce it as a charge of criminality againft our then MINISTER j certainly not. It was a War of neceffity, not of choice . AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 37 But 'tis digrefling from the point : Talking of Minifters and Kings, And politics, and fuch like things ; My Fable 's fadly out of joint. Yet, (hall the Gauls exemplify How the poor RATS were doom'd to die. E'en as when Gallic Cooks prepare, On great occafions extra fare For Louis' Court : to marfhy ground, And ftagnant waters Paris round, The Royal Frog-catchers refort, On murder bent, which they call fport. Ev'n choice. The outrage committed by the Boftonians, was an al of determined Rebellion, and Defiance : it was the Guantlet AMERICA threw down ; and we mould have been Daftards not to have taken it up. But, as I approve his courage who accepts a challenge, I blame his foolhardmefs who continues the fight when his ftrength is exhaufted, and he has no chance of viSory : or, if by miracle he mould prove victorious, his triumph would be but momentary 5 and the conteft muft necerTari'.y be renewed, and he at lad defeated. Such was our fituation : and therefore l/op'elefs was the War. The COLONIES were Limbs, or rather Excrefcences of the BRI- TISH EMPIRE, out of all proportion with the Body. Sooner or later they muft have fallen from us. What we have now to lament, is, the manner in which they were fevered ; by dilatory operations, which have drained us of more blood than we (hall recruit in ages. This mifchief (to drop the metaphor ) feems imputable to LORD NORTH, who neither had the fpirit retjuifitc for carrying on a War, nor mag- nanimity enough to make Peace. Frog-catching fport. ~\ It was my misfortune once to pafs a day in > milcrable Village in FRANCE, where the only Book I could nuet with 38 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: Ev'n fo the RATS GJRIMALKIN chafes : Finds out their haunts, and hiding-places : And if upon them unawares He pops, moft royally he fares. So oft, indeed, by ftratagem Feline he circumvented them ; Had it not been that fornication Was, as at prefent 'tis, in fa (hi on ; That nature and night work fupplied Young ones, as faft as old ones died ; None had been living now to tell How many of their brethren fell. They fell ; but not without fome vain Attempts GRIMALKIN to reftrain. Many a goodly projeft they Eflay'd ; and threw much time away. with was titled " DIVERTISSEMENTS CAMPAGNARDS." A- mongft other goodly Diverfions, ' Frog-catching ' being let forth, I had the oiriofrty to dip into it. " The CbaJ/eur (fays the Author) " ftiould be piovided with water-proof Boots ; and a Trident, or " three -barbed Spear: for with fuch a weapon NEPTUNE ftrikes " the Leviatjian, quand il 4 No doubt, they will remember me, * Who have fubfcribed fo conftantly. ' Elfe will I openly declare c How much 1 hate this wafteful war. ' I hate the War. Yet muft I own, 4 I love, moft dearly love a LOAN. 4 Ten per Cent clear of brokerage paid ! * But, then, New Taxes muft be laid : 4 Heavy ones, too. But, Ten per Cent 4 On Money nominally lent 4 Confoles Subscribers, To be fure, < c Taxes hurt others, Rich, and Poor. * The Nation has a right to curfe 4 The Man who holds the Public Purfe j 4 But whilft we favoured Cits t and Men 4 In Parliament fuch profits gain, 4 To us, at leaft, the matter 's clear, 4 We have an able Financier.' The Man who holds the Public Purfe.~] THE COMMONS arc conjiiiutionally the Public's Stewards; but as long as the MINISTER can fecure a Majority, He is virtually the fole Manager. Amongft the many Abufes which MR.BURKE'S admirable, and ever- memorable BILL went to reform, I wonder he did not touch upon the molt profule expenditure of the Public's Money, and at the fame time the mod fatal mode of Bribery that could be devifed : I mean the MINISTER'S difpofal of the LOANS. That he fliould negotiate the BuGncfs is fo far fitting ; but he ought to be impeacb- able for giving it to, and every Member fhould forfeit his feat for receiving any part of the LOAN. No MINISTER will ever want Supporters for carrying on a War, whilft War enables him to raile the Wages of Corruption. G The 42 FABLES J ANCIENT AND MODERN: The City RATS refolve, whate'er The Bufmefs, to attend the May'r. The time appointed come, they meet O, wonderful ! to talk ;- not eat. The Conftables are placed about The doors, to keep the rabble out. Silence proclaim'd, SOREX, the May'r, Than whom none filPd fo well the Chair. Wags his fore paws, like turtle fins ; Hems twice, fpits thrice, and then begins i " Gemmen : I fay : I underftand " Some weighty bufmefs is in hand : " If he be here who made requeft " For meeting let him fpeak his beft." Now rofe a pert young Alderman- -ic RAT ; and thus his Speech began, * Since by your fuffrage, Fellow Cits, * (But, lackaday ! the May'r 's in fits. f Too great exertion, as I fear, * In waddling from his Manfion here * Has quite exhaufted him. No wonder: With fo much flefli, fuch thick Robes under: * This turtle feeding mortens lives. c Poor SOREX ! O, but he revives. ' I hope, my Lord, you 're not the worfe. - < Pray lend an ear to my difcourfe.) Since, AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 43 * Since, Fellow Cits, by your accord * I was brought in for Patriot Ward, ' Whole days and nights, weeks, months and years * I 've pafs'd opprefs'd with Public Cares. * Awake, afleep, in, out of bed, * The City's welfare in my head. c Againft how many Scutages, * Aids, Talliages, Carrucages, 1 Have I not clamour'd loud, and long ? * 'Tis very well my lungs are ftrong. * I have, which fome will folly call,. * Ruin'd myfelf, to ferve you all. * So much on public bufmefs bent, * I cared not how my fortune went. ' But, fince your favour full I boafi^ < I think my fortune lent, not loft. 1 You are too generous, I 'm fure, ' To let a Patriot long be poor. ' Earneft, indeed, already you e Have given of what you mean to do. c And I 'm as proud to wear, as own * The honour of this Scarlet Gown : ' Which flowing graceful from my moulders, * Envy excites in all beholders. Scutages, Talliages, &c .] Names under which the Kings of the Norman and Saxon Lines extorted money from their Subjects. < This 44 FABLES} ANCIENT AND MODERN : 4 This my firft wifh ambitious gain'd j 4 This ladder's lower round attain'd ; 4 I flatter me ere long to mount 4 Aloft, and fet aftride upon 't : 4 Without offence His Lordfhip to. 4 The May'ralty is not my view, 4 I rather would be Chamberlain ; 4 And keep the City's Purfe. And then, 4 If there 's no indecorum in 't, 4 I would at one more honour hint ; 4 The higheft honour you can give ; "J " 4 The welcomed I can receive ; 4 To be your REPRESENTATIVE. J 4 Which once attain'd, I vow and fwear 4 To make my Country all my care : 4 My zeal and lungs at conftant work ; 4 I '11 out-face Fox, and out-talk BURKE.' Tired of his prate, a LIVERY-RAT Kimbo'd his arms, and cock'd his hat : " If this be all, Friend Prate-a-pace, " / 'm off. Who will may have my place." To out-face FOX.] It is not meant to characterize MR. Fox as an impudent, but as a bold Man : one who dares confront any Mi- nifter : one fit to be the Leader of a great Party, keeping in awe the Servants of the Crown. And out-talk BURKE.] Nor would I infinuate that MR. BURKE is ever tedious. At lealt he was not fo fome years fince, when I fre- quented the Houle ; (as a Gallery Man ; Auditor tantum.) I have heard him fpeak for three hours together ; but, fo far from thinking he fpqke too long, I never thought he ipoke long enough. * Your AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 45 ' Your patience, worthy Sir, I pray ; ' Something, what was 't? 1 had to fay. 4 In iboth, I 'm forry to appear * Tedious to any Perfon here. 1 But this fame Oratory hath ' So many a tempting, devious path, ' Where Rats of Genius may for hours * Amufe themfelves with culling flow'rs. ' " Say, rather Talking is a Maze, " Where the illogic Blockhead ftrays, " Without or Senfe, or Reafon's clew, " Or Method to direct him through." c I '11 try my beft to be concife ; c And tell you, Fellows, in a trice * Why I thought proper now to call * You Livery here to Common Hall. ' The fubjecl: is what all mould feel j ' For it imports the Common- weal : 4 Yet, to the City's dire difgrace, ' We have among us fome fo bafe ' They for the Public little care, ' Unlefs themfelves in danger are : * Safe, they no meafures take to free ' From perils the Community. c Nay more ; of their indiff'rence vain, f They borrow fallacy from Men: That 46 FABLESj ANCIENT AND MODB?N: " That Every-lody bitftnefs is Nobody's :"vile, falfe reaf'ning this ! * A generous Rat would rather learn- * That every one's is his concern : * And would his treafures wafte and blood, * So he could do the Public good. * But, ah ! It would be hard to find ' Cits now of patriotic mind. ' Extinct the courage which was wont To animate us. Fie upon 't ! e Luxury, and Lafcivioufnefs * Pervade all ranks. Ye 're fond of Drefs, * And Revelry : of Balls, and Feafts : ' And get as drunk as human Beafts. ' Unthinking wretches ! But I '11 try * To roufe you from your lethargy. c I '11 have a Parrot taught * to fcream GRIMALKIN- y Rats: take heed of him. c GRIMJLKIN/'"--Ay ; the very fame. ' What fcart ye even at his name? c Ye tremble, too : I thought ye wou'd j ' For never Cat med fo much blood. ' Which of you all aflembled here ' Mourns not the lofs of fome one dear ? 4 But no one fo great caufe as I To mourn his mangled family. J V/ have a Starling taught tofpeak Nothing but" MORTIMER." SHAKSP. < Not AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 47 * Not more of PRIAM'S kindred died c By that far-famed Trojanicide, * ACHILLES, than of mine are flam * Since our fell King began his reign. * Such war unfeemly, too, he wages ; * Againft both fexes, and all ages. * My Grandam, and my Grandfire eke, * The Tyrant took away laft week. 4 Uncles, and Aunts I 've loft, and Coufina * -Germain, and Irifh ones, by dozens. * Saturday night, or Sunday morn * My eldeft Son was from me torn : c Next day at noon his fecond Brother : * At twelve o'clock at night another. * This very eve 1 had a Sifter ; * Juft as the moon uprofe I mift her. * And much I fear that fell GRIMALKIN * Is feafting on her whilft I 'm talking. * My Wife is every day in danger : ' But that 's no matter, me 's a Ranger ; * Eternal Gofliper, and Gadder:- * I almoft wifh GRIMALKIN had her. * His lips, I 'm told, lafcivious water * No lefs to be about my Daughter. * The lofs of her, too, I could bear ; * My Wife and Daughter I could fpare ; * If the fell monfter would not touch ' A Miftrefs whom I doat on much. * Rather 48 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: Rather than in his pow'r behold her, * I 'Jl hang bis Cat-Jkin o'er my Jhoulder. * 4 What fupercilious looks ye call ! * As if my words were mere bombait. ' No ; my heart 's big, though 1 am little : Oh ! that I had a Spanifh Whittle ! * And you mould fee how I wou'd fpoil * This Cat, as MANLIUS did the Gaul. ' Though for my Miftrefs' fake, I faid, 4 I wim'd I had a Spanish Blade ; ' Think not, my Fellow Cits, for her ' Alone I make this mighty ftir. * No : though my love for her is great j * Yet, how much more I love the ftate. * I for her fake would live ; but I * Would, if the State required it, die. Though, to be plain, to die I ,'m loath, * For either ; but would live for both. * And fo I will. And fo (hall you 4 All live : and unmolefted too. * And bang a calfs-Jkin o'er tbofe recreant limbs. SHAKSP. As MANLIUS did the Gaul.'] Malice or Rivalry may call this a merejhonv of Learning :-~ but, take my word for it, boneft I AGO, ovir Rat is tolerably read. You will find, if you fift him well, he is acquainted with the minuteft circumRances of Hiftory. In that memorable Duel, (which cannot but remind one of the Fight betwixt DAVID and GOLIAH,) the Combatants' Weapons are particularly described. The gigantic Gaul had two Swords" duos Etifes^ (probably a Sword, and Dagger:) the noble Roman had but onej which, however, was a Spanijh one ; " Gladig Hifpanico cinflut contra Callum conRitit" * For AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 49 c For though I cannot cope with GRIM -j| * Overtly, I've a ftratagem ' To rid us of all fears of him. J 4 For which I truft '" moft poterit, grave And reverend RATS,'" your thanks to havet " iSVr, you will merit more than thanks " If you can flop GRIMALKIN'S pranks. " The City's Love Wealth Honours too"' e Enough, enough: too much, Meflieurs, ' 4t Tou may command. All we can do+ < Ye are too good. That which Wejlilljhall be in debt to you." 4 Your Love, confirms me ever yours.' " Tell us the way on which you've hit : " Let us admire your wondrous wit..^" t Little of that. The way 's fo plain, ' I wonder I could rack my brain * So many fleeplefs nights in vain. ' Not that I grudge my labour paft^ ' Since I have compafs'd it at hft. * I'll tell you how it may be donej * And frame a motion thereupon. H } ) FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: < Lift, then, all parties, all connexions, ' RATS of all ages and complexions : i Whifker'd, or not : black, white, and grey, 1 Liften to what I have to fay. A murmur ran through all the croud. Some noify Coxcombs who flood near him Impertinently bawl'd aloud " The Motion^ Motion : hear him, bear him,'' < GRIMALKIN'S great advantage lies - In fpringing on us by furprize: * When we are thoughtlefs, carelefs, fporting ; c Or wrangling, jangling ; fighting ; courting. * Whether a- bed, or up we are ; ") ' Feafting, or fafting ; or at pray'r : * He Comes Upon us unaware. ' So that, my Fellows, to prevent * Henceforward fuch like accident, c All that is wanting is to bear * GRIMALKIN ere he gets too near. ' Now, as no time is to be loft, 1 I move THAT AT THE CITY'S COST ' BE MADE A SILVER BELL; AND PUT T < FORTHWITH GRIMALKIN's NECK ABOUT, k 4 By this mean he can ne'er ftir out c But we muft hear him : and 'twill be c Signal for us away to flee/ Thus, AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 51 Thus, zealous in the common caufe, The City Politician fpake : And the RATS thunder'd fuch applaufe As made the very wafh-tubs (hake. Soon as the Chairman eould compqfe Their joy tumultuous, up rofe A RAT whofe venerable front Had but few draggling hairs upon 't ; And white ones : for, like NESTOR, he "} Had lived through generations three : But without his loquacity. J Our RAT was wifer ; for he knew Long fpeeches are ill liften'd to. Therefore in giving his advice He always drove to be concife. Whene'er he rofe, great Rats, and fmall Sat down, and were attentive all. " This goodly projefl of a BELL " Is plaufible : it likes you well. " But I am loath your joy to check ; . " When the BELL 's made, where will be found * c The Hero that dares tie it round "- The terrible GRIMALKIN'S neck ?" Would 52 FABLES j ANCIENT AND MODERN Would not this Fablc^ think you^ fuit A certain modern Machiavel^ Who waking dreams And Jleeping fchemes Things that 'it is impoj[Jible For Cuch a Moufe to execute f FABLE AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 53 FABLE XVI. HERMES, and the SHADES. AS HERMES from this World's abode Drove on a flock of SHADES to Hell,* A party of them on the road Thus into converfation fell. * Poor ALTAMONT ! (A FEMALE fpeaks.) c A truer Lover none e'er had. * Methinks, I hear ev'n yet his fkrieks. ' My lofs, alafs ! will drive him mad.' " Much worfe my lofs is felt : (replies A MASTER OF A FAMILY.) " My Widow 's weeping out her eyes : " My Children fain would follow me." l " Some individuals o'er your fod ut May drop a tear: ( A GENERAL faid:) < But o'er the Public's Demi-God c " The Nation tears profufe will fhed.'" * The HELL, HADES, or LOWER WORLD of the Ancients compriied the whole of the Regions which were the receptacle of de- parted Pei Ions ; of the good as well as of the bad. And it was the province of HE RM EC to conduft them there. Your 4 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN. "" Your Nation fingly (fays a BARD) - "" Might grieve for you ; but when 7 died, cue Then univerfal groans were heard : "" The World with grief grew ftupined."" HERMES no longer could forbear From laughing. c By my wand, fays he, ' The maft conceited Souls ye are 1 That ever left mortality. ' To hear you talk, one would fuppofe * You were of fo much confequence, * That with the World above it goes ' Strangely, fmce you were driven thence. * Know; Firft, fair DAME, the Lover whom c You creduloufly thought fo true, * Has got a Miftrefs in your room : c And doats on her, as erft on you. ' You, who a HUSBAND, and a FATHER ' Of fuch fond Children boaft yourfelf, ' Know, they are by the ears together : * And fond of nothing but your pelf. * Your Widow would, perhaps, lament ' Your lofs ; be inconlblable ; But that her Milliner has fent ' Home Mourning (he becomes fo well. As AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE; 5J * As for your charafter, your worth, 4 GENERAL DfiMi-Goo; they fay, 4 There 's not your fellow upon earth 4 For pradeace ; for you ran away. 1 Though fpoken of invidioufly 1 Byfosne; as if you miibehaved: c No captured General can deny 4 Your army and yourfelf 'you faved. * You, the great GENIUS of your age, 4 The MJEVIUS, BAVIUS, -or who not? ' The Public's thoughts you fo engage, 1 Your Works already are forgot. 4 Had you all been of merit tried ; 4 And every praife entitled to ; 4 The World is too much occupied, 4 To throw away a thought on you.* In foot h, it matters not a whit, When a few Men or Pijmires die ; JOVE hasfo wifely ordered it, Nature fills up the vacancy. FABLE 56 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: FABLE. XVII. The CIRCUMSPECT TRAVELLER, A Man who had a River ftrange to pafs, Fathonrd, to find where fordable it was. And, conftantly, in doing fo, he found Where it ran noifelefs it was moft profound. 'Tisfo in life. We fafely may infer That be is Jhalloweji who makes moft ftir. Brave Men are cool. Wife Men avoid debater But Cowards blujter; and Ha If -Idiots prate* F4BLE AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. FABLE The SENTIMENTAL DOVE and the SPARROW. ABrifk, young SPARROW fell in love With an affecled TURTLE-DOVE : And meeting with her one May-day, Alone, upon a myrtle fpray, The wanton rogue began to bill, And force her to his wicked will. But, me, referved as e'er was prude, Chid him for offering to be rude. ' Such forward doings ne'er will move her : 1 She 's for zfentimental Lover. c None otHer (hall her heart enthrali : 4 'Tis Sentiment is All in All.' SPARROW replies," I've often heard " Of this fame fine, high- founding word j " But never yet knew what it meant : u Explain ; what is this Sentiment I"' ' It is, it is, nor more nor lefs j * What I want language to exprefs : * But, happyj happy he pofleffing * So great, fo rich, fo fweet a bkffing ! I And 58 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERNS u And, pray, who knows but I poflefs " This well-defined w0r more nor lefs ; " This fweet, rich, lufcious quality ? " It may be worth your while to try." You blefs'd with it !' " Nay ; never flout, " Untill you find I am without. " If not with Sentiment endued, " I've qualities, perhaps, as good. " Imprimis, Dear ; were you my wife, 4 FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: " I crave your pardon ; but, your being fhy " Of telling, ftirs my curiofity." * Why, then, I'll tell you, Friend, (fmce I mutt fpeak} * I fonietimes wear a Collar round my neck.' " A Collar ! What is that ? And what to do ?" * A leather thong, annex'd a chain unto ; 1 Which, with a fhple driven in the wall^ 4 Confines me, that' : , " You; fcarce can wag at all : << I underftand you ; I have Jfgen a chain ; T( u And Dogs, too, tugging to get loofe, in vain. " So, Sir, ycmr Servant : I'll trot home again." Why in fuch hafte :' " The place will not agree " With my proud fpirit. No : I muft be free. " Though almoft ftarved, myfelf I ne'er could bring " To wear a Collar : 'tis a fervile thing : cc The chain yet worfe : and then, to be confined ! " The very thought of it appals the mind." * Imagined ills ! The Collar 's no difgrace. And, though confin'd, 'tis in a cleanly place. k Nor am I chain'd but with my own good will.' " Oh ! worfe, and worfe : what let 'em ufe you ill ! " Would not a Beaft of fpirit fooner die ? " But you, tame wretch, feem pleafed with flavery. You AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 63 " You own a Mafter : crouch at his command : " And fawn, I dare to fay, and lick his hand " Ev'n whilft he 's chaining you." 4 And what of that ? c See you how well I'm recompenfed ? How fat * I am ? I thrive at leaf! beneath his care. * I'm daily fed with fuch delicious fare 4 As, Mr. Barebones, faucy as you be, c You would be very glad to fhare with me. 4 Stay, but, and fee the breakfaft they will bring. c A Slave, indeed !-*-! feaft me like a King.' " My fervice to your King-fhip. May you be not yet was he. " Initiated in venery. " His ftrength he would not idly wafte : " But would, whilft bachelor, be chafte ; " That, if he e'er fhould married be, ^ He might have healthful progeny." The DRONES were thunderflruck to hear So young a Cato-^fo fevere. For every reliable he fpoke Seem'd againft them a levell'd ftroke Of Satire, Doubtlefs, for their fakes, He cried down Gamefters DrunkardsRakes. Which fo exafperated them, That with revenge they threaten'd him. Boldly avow'd c they would devife Mifchief : and not ev'n flick at lies. * For if to punifhment they cou'd 1 Bring him by any means, they wou'd. c They'd fwear he had done this, done that ; f Honey purloin'd ; and Jove knows what, e Which when his Miflrefs heard of, he * Excluded from the Hive would be.' To which the BEE made this reply: * c Your utmoft malice I defy. " My gracious Miftrefs is not one ec Eafy to be impofed upon. She ANCIENT AND MODERN? " She will fift well the truth, and weigh < ( My merits againft all you fay. " And, I've no doubt, my chara&er " Will countervail what you aver. " But, ev'n if falfhood fh'ould prevail ** For once : Should me believe the tale j " Should me difgrace me : ray ; or drive " With ignominy from the Hive : That, though a punifhment fevere, u Or death itfelf undaunted I could bear, " My (onfcience being from offences clear," F4BLB AFTER THE MANNED OF LAFQNTAINlL 7* FABLE XXttL The WOLF and-, the LAM B. A WOLF, and LAMB at the fame inftant came To flake their thifft at a pellucid ftream. Although the WOLF ftood higher, tow'rds the fourcei, The water flowing undifturb'd, of courfe, To him, refolved to quarrel, he began To tax the LAMS : complain'd the water ran Muddy from him : and wonder'd He mould dare 4 Difhirb it, when he faw his Wolf-fhip there.' " With great fubmiffion, Sir, how can it be ?- " Does not the water run from you to me?" 4 Another thing ; pert Sir. I fain would know { Why you abufed me ?' " When?" * ix months ago/ tc Whoever told you fo, a falfehood told : " For, Sir, I am not yet a quarter old." 4 If 't was not you, it was your Father, then.' The LAMB, with filial piety, would fain Have ckar'd his Father's character : in vain For ien.' 1 FABLES; AXciEN-f AND For at one fpring the WOLF, blood-thirfty Brute, Seized on the LAMB ; and ended the difpute. Thus Kings, and Nobles, in defpotic Land, Grafp the poor Peafantry'with ruthlefs hand. But, happy Countrymen ! How blefs'd our ftate Unawed, unfhackled by the Proud, or Great. Here to the Commonalty Law affords Protection againft too imperious Lords. Not ev'n the King in power is fo ftrong To dare to do his meaneft Subject wrong. I do not mean, our prefent Monarch would. > I know he would not do fo, if he could. Still, to be free, regard with jealous eye The leaft encroachments of Authority. But, above all, a STANDING ARMY dread. If once that Monfter rears too high its head ;- < If e'er our military force mould be Augmented much, we rifle our Liberty. The danger is not now ; nor is it near ; I truft: but, diftant ages, (mould they hear My fmall, weak voice,) the precept will revere No lefs ; nor hold their birthright Liberty lefs dear. AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 73 FABLE XXIV. Two Docs fighting for a Bone. TWO Docs, the fierceft of their kind, Happen'd a Bacon Bone to find : ONE quickly feized upon the Bone; Which 't OTHER claim'd ; c Leave that alone: 'Tis mine : I faw it before you/ " 'T were hard to prove if that be true. " But, whiche'er faw it firft, or laft, " I have it : and I '11 hold it faft." c Sirrah ! I fay, take off your paw. c Or halve it : or I '11 go to Law. c 'Tis written '" Rebus de inventis'" * 44 Nonfenfe ! I fay, <" Jus po/identis"' " But 't were loft time to hold difpute " With fuch a known-litigious Brute ; " Therefore, to cut the matter mort, " Give up your claim, or fight me for 't." c Ay ; that I will, with all my heart, ' Notorious Bruifer though thou art, * Thou canft not frighten me. I '11 fight * Rather than give up what 's my right.' Or halve it :] Af(vo$ anairwai TO (Atp-, xoivov tivat ovE^w. THEOPHR. L Thus FABLES; ANCIENT AND MODERN: Thus faid ; the Champions ftraight engag'd ; And long, and furious combat waged ; So much, the ground whereon they flood Could not drink faft enougli their blood. And had not channels ten, or fewer, Carried it to the common fewer, Our Combatants had both been found In no-pacific ocean drown'd. (Should any one devoid of tafte, Call this difcription c mere bombaft ;' Abufe the pun : and wonder how I dare fuch latitude allow Myfelf: CALLIOPE maintains (( Thank you, dear Goddefs, for the pains Of vindicating what / 've done Or rather you ; but that 's all one : ((( 'Tis fit the world at large (hould know it, I am her tragi-comic Poet. WALLBECKOMASTIX if there be Any will this difpute with me, Let him draw forth his grey goofe Quill > Whilft I 've a drop of ink^ I will Fight with him : ay ; and make him caper, Until he 's tired of it, on paper. With other fighting what have / To do ? My field is Poetry ; My fword my Pen. Not willingly Draw jt I would in enmity : But AFTER THE MANNER OF LAFONTAINE. 75 But, if compell'd to draw at all, Take heed ; for it is dipp'd in gall : And never Indian's poifon'd dart Wjth deadlier virus touch'd the heart.))) But, now ; may 't pleafe your Goddefs-fhip, Proceed : nor let th' occafion flip Of fetting forth the dignity Of this our currifh Epopee. (((( Silence, ye noify Sons of Earth! Heaven-born CALLIOPE holds forth.)))) *" Let no one pafs harfa judgement on *" This Poem worthy Helicon, *" Far from burlefque, 'tis true fublimc.