HE CHINESE BOOK 
 
 OF ETIQUETTE AND CONDUCT 
 FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS ENTITLED 
 
 instruction for Chinese 
 Women anb <5irls 
 
 By 
 LADY TSAO 
 
 Translated from the Chinese by 
 MRS. S. L. BALDWIN 
 
 NEW YORK: . EATON & MAINS 
 CINCINNATI: . JENNINGS & PYE 
 
 3>- "pi: 

 
 STACK 
 f. OF CALIF. LIBRARY, LOS AMIUf ANNEX 
 
 ^ 
 
 3007 
 CONTENTS 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 On the Cultivation of Virtue. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 Woman's Work. Weaving Silk, etc. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 On Politeness. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 On Early Rising. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 On Reverence for Parents. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 On the Reverence Due Father and Mother-in-law. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 On Reverencing the Husband. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 On the Instruction of Children. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 On Attention to Domestic Duties. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 On the Treatment of Guests. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 On Gentleness and Harmony. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 On the Cultivation of Virtue.
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 FACING 
 CHAPTER 
 
 I. Chinese Lady Shielding Face with Fan. 
 
 II. Gathering Chia Leaves for Cocoons. 
 
 III. Serving Afternoon Tea. 
 
 IV. Arranging Dining Room Table. 
 
 V. Praying for Sick Parent before Ancestral Tablets. 
 
 VI. Making the Bed for Mother-in-law. 
 
 VII. Drinking Wine Together in Marriage Ceremony. 
 
 VIII. Garden Scene. 
 
 IX. Kitchen and Preparing Food. 
 
 X. Morning Salutation to Male Guest. 
 
 XL Neighbors Visiting. 
 
 XII. Chinese Grave.
 
 PREFACE 
 
 & 
 
 FEW people in the West have any in- 
 telligent conception of the remark- 
 able civilization that has existed in China 
 for hundreds of years, and this in strange 
 contrast with her squalor, poverty, and 
 heathenism. 
 
 How little is known, save by a very 
 few, of her reverence for parents, age, 
 letters, and law ; of her teachers, schools, 
 colleges, literary chancellors and degrees ; 
 and that it is true in that great empire 
 that the humblest may rise to be second 
 only to the emperor if he has the ability. 
 A literary aristocracy leads all others ; 
 indeed, leaves no place for any other, and 
 it is far more to have a literary degree 
 than to be a millionaire. " Twice six 
 hundred years has China's famed Hanlin 
 Academy existed and been the Mecca of
 
 her aspiring scholars." Of what other 
 countries can we find reliable dynastic 
 histories of thousands of years, books on 
 morals and etiquette, visiting cards, en- 
 velopes, tinted and decorated note paper, 
 the very tint of the paper conveying sen- 
 timents of regard, and these not modern 
 luxuries, but ancient, and in common use 
 when our ancestors were such gross bar- 
 barians as no record proves the Chinese 
 to have ever been ? The better I know 
 this wonderful people, and the more I 
 study their history, the greater my aston- 
 ishment that such a civilization can exist 
 parallel with such degradation and super- 
 stition of the masses. 
 
 This is doubtless due to the exception- 
 ally wise and good men they have had as 
 teachers, notably Confucius and Mencius, 
 whose instructions concerning all the re- 
 lations of man to man are known and 
 quoted from the highest down to the 
 poorest classes. 
 
 I soon discovered that in our great
 
 city of Foochow, in southern China, there 
 was actually a circulating library. I think 
 it is safe to say that such an institution 
 could not be duplicated in any other 
 heathen nation. I made haste through 
 my native teacher to rent one of its 
 most famous novels, in twelve booklets. 
 I planned to translate it, with intent thus 
 to become more familiar with the life and 
 thought of the people and to compare 
 their standards of life with our own. I 
 was most interested to find the plan of 
 the story very similar to those of our 
 own writers. There were the same ideals 
 for hero and heroine : lojjty_yirlue j __un^ 
 failing heroism, patient suffering, and self- 
 sacrifice for " dear love's sake," on one 
 side ; and the most wicked selfishness, 
 cunning, and scheming in the ever-pres- 
 ent marplot. The hero was of high liter- 
 ary connections, himself distinguished for 
 learning, honor, and bravery, the very 
 idol and hope of his family. The heroine 
 was a beautiful, refined young girl, also
 
 fi- 
 
 of literary family whom dire fortune had 
 brought very low ; and she as a last resort 
 was ready to prove her filial affection the 
 central virtue of the Chinese by con- 
 senting to be sold as a slave to save her 
 father from imprisonment for debt by the 
 vile man who wanted her. She abhorred 
 this man, but seeing no other way to save 
 her father was willing to sacrifice herself. 
 The whole story was skillfully planned, 
 beautifully worded, and intensely inter- 
 esting. But alas ! I never found time to 
 complete the translation, and my last 
 effort left my beautiful heroine in a per- 
 fect tangle of wicked schemes, while her 
 deliverer, the hero, was at the bottom of 
 a river in the care of a good goddess ! I 
 was comforted, however, by the assurance 
 of my native teacher that our hero came 
 up all right, and just at the very critical 
 moment, demolished all the schemes of the 
 wicked one, delivered the lovely heroine 
 and her aged father, and, best of all, this 
 story of the Orient ended in the same
 
 [I 
 
 entrancing manner as those of the West, 
 with marriage bells nay, firecrackers in- 
 numerable and joy all around ! 
 
 While forced to give up the completion 
 of this famous Chinese work, the very 
 name of which has slipped my memory, I 
 did complete with even greater interest 
 the translation of a far more famous work, 
 the standard and universally prized book 
 of Instructions for Women and Girts, said 
 to be the first book of etiquette ever pub- 
 lished, in whichwe find that this great 
 people do not at all meet the popular 
 conception of utterly degraded heathenr 
 They have local books of etiquette printed 
 in different dialects, of which there are 
 about forty, but this standard work is in 
 the classical or book language, and out- 
 ranks all others, as well it may, for it in- 
 cludes far more than even the Western 
 books of etiquette in its careful moral 
 code. 
 
 China is certainly in advance of every 
 other heathen nation, in that her wise
 
 
 men and women have ever lifted up 
 a pure and good standard of life before 
 the people. Confucius gave them the 
 second table of the law man's duty to 
 man ; but alas ! knowing not the first 
 man's duty to God, and living many 
 years before the revelation of Christ the 
 Saviour, Exemplar, and Helper, neither 
 Confucius nor his people could measure 
 up to their own lofty standards. 
 
 I was often amused at my native as- 
 sistant in the translation of this book. He 
 had much national pride, great admiration 
 for their ancient literary characters, and 
 the most profound respect for the author 
 of this book and her instructions. He 
 was a first degree literary man, and withal 
 an earnest and intelligent Christian, and 
 manifested more satisfaction with West- 
 ern ideas than any native I knew, but 
 woman's seclusion, duty to obey, etc., 
 he thoroughly approved, and regarded 
 us Westerners as entirely too lax in these 
 respects. So as the translation proceeded 
 
 3~a- "-". "ft :^""ft" -' "sr~ >v "' ->r >Y
 
 he would throw in remarks expressing 
 his satisfaction at this or that, and at 
 times even showing how this agreed with 
 the Scriptures. Thus when it speaks of 
 woman's duty to obey her husband and 
 " listen with reverence to his words," he 
 remarked with emphasis, "Just as Polo 
 [Paul] taught, you see." I smiled and 
 said nothing, but waited my opportunity 
 to show him how far short they all came 
 either of Paul's or his admired author's 
 teachings, and the good chance came 
 when the " instructions " spoke of hus- 
 band and wife "sharing either riches or 
 poverty." I said : " All this is very good 
 in theory, but I do not see that your peo- 
 ple practice it. So far from sharing pov- 
 erty, you know how it is. If there are 
 not enough vegetables and rice for all the 
 family, the wife serves the husband with 
 all he wants, then gives to the children, 
 and too often all that is left for her is the 
 water in which the vegetables were 
 cooked. Paul says, ' The strong should
 
 II 
 
 bear the burdens of the weak.' Women 
 are weak. Your author says, ' share pov- 
 erty,' but I do not see that your people 
 follow either the teaching of the one or 
 the instructions of the other." He ac- 
 knowledged the truth of this and that 
 " there was still something lacking," but 
 ever remained immovable in his conserv- 
 atism on the " woman question." 
 
 In this translation the Chinese idiom 
 has been retained as far as consistent 
 with clearness of meaning. 
 
 The binding of the book is in conform- 
 ity to Chinese thought. Bright scarlet is 
 their joyful color worn by the bride 
 the color of their visiting cards, and con- 
 spicuous in their wall decorations in tem- 
 ples and homes, and on all joyful occa- 
 sions. The beautiful bamboo, which 
 decorates the cover of the book and out- 
 lines the leaves, is also specially prized, and 
 symbolizes peace ; the birds in the bam- 
 boo, messengers ; and we thus have the 
 thought, messengers of peace, in harmony
 
 with the teaching of the book. Each 
 illustration represents an important cus- 
 tom referred to in the chapter. These 
 pictures and the design upon the cover 
 were all made by a skilled Chinese 
 artist, Mr. Pang Sun Yow, who has for 
 years been a faithful member of one of 
 the churches of Brooklyn.
 
 BRIEF SKETCH OF THE AUTHORESS 
 
 tANG TAI KU was a 
 
 brated literary woman who lived in 
 the Han dynasty about eighteen hunp" 
 dred and twenty years ago. Her father 
 was a high official at the capital, then 
 the city of Si-ngan, in the province of 
 Shen-si. Pang Tai Ku was betrothed 
 to a man of the Tsao family named Sin. 
 Tsao Sin attained the highest literary 
 degree, but, alas ! died early, leaving 
 Pang Tai Ku a lonely widow. Her elder 
 brother, Pang Ku, was the president of 
 the great Hanlin College, the first college 
 of the empire and the only college to 
 give the highest degree. He had com- 
 menced writing the history of the Han 
 dynasty, but before he had completed 
 the half he became totally blind. The 
 
 -. . ft.
 
 emperor asked him who could complete 
 the work. Pang Ku replied, " Under the 
 whole heavens there is but one person 
 who can do it my younger sister, Tsao 
 Tai Ku " (her name after marriage). At 
 this time she was still in seclusion and 
 mourning for her husband, although sev- 
 eral years had passed since his death. 
 The emperor sent her many valuable 
 presents, invited her to come to the court, 
 and built her a palace within the im- 
 perial grounds, but so humble was she 
 that she attributed all of these honors 
 to the emperor's regard for her brother. 
 Pang Ku. She completed the history 
 of the Han dynasty, and did it so well 
 that no one could tell where her brother 
 stopped and she began. The emperor 
 was greatly pleased with her work and 
 treated her with the highest respect and 
 honor. He commanded all the ladies of 
 the palace to do her reverence and to 
 call her " Instructor of Women." He 
 also requested her to teach these ladies.
 
 It was at this time that she prepared 
 her discourses or Instructions to Women 
 and Girls, known and so highly esteemed 
 throughout the empire as the most thor- 
 ough and perfect rules ever prepared for 
 a woman's conduct.
 
 
 
 INTRODUCTION 
 
 j* 
 
 TAI KU, your handmaid, is of an il- 
 ^ f " '" '" I" ' ! - - i,, 
 
 lustrious family, and was a philoso- 
 
 pher'sTwife. I have tried to perfect myself 
 
 iirthlf lour~womanly virtues, which are : 
 first, carefulness in deportment, which in- 
 cludes manners, dress, and all outward 
 conduct; second>3\\ womanly duties; third, 
 talking little, and that of profit ; fourth, to 
 be virtuous. Having but few duties, I 
 made books a study. I also earnestly 
 tried to follow the example of the " nine 
 upright women " and " three chaste ones " 
 (ancient Chinese women distinguished for 
 their virtues). It is lamentable that suc- 
 ceeding women have not walked in their 
 footsteps. Because of this I have pre- 
 pared this book, and desire it to be care- 
 fully handed down for the benefit of girls 
 and women.
 
 I 
 
 Chinese Lady Shielding Face with Fan.
 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 On the Cultivation of Virtue 
 
 All girls, everywhere, 
 
 First should learn to cultivate virtue. 
 
 Of cultivating virtue's methods, 
 
 The most important is 
 
 To be pure and upright in morals ; 
 
 If pure, you are clean inside and outside; 
 
 Chastity is your body's glory; 
 
 Having it, all your acts shine. 
 
 When walking, look straight, turn not 
 your head ; 
 
 Talking, restrain your voice within your 
 teeth ; 
 
 Sitting, don't shake your knees a com- 
 mon fault with men ; 
 
 Standing, keep quiet your skirts ; 
 
 When pleased, laugh not aloud ; 
 
 If angry, still make no noise ; 
 
 Inner and outer rooms' (women's and 
 men's) duties
 
 Fully understand. 
 
 Boys and girls must not together be. 
 
 With outside business you have no con- 
 cern ; 
 
 Therefore, go not beyond the court. 
 
 If necessary outside to go, 
 
 Exhibit not your form, 
 
 But screen your face with fan or veil. 
 
 To men who are not with you related 
 you may not speak. 
 
 With women and girls of not careful con- 
 duct you may not associate. 
 
 Following virtue, decorum, and upright- 
 ness, you so accomplish the end of 
 your being.
 
 Gathering Chia Leaves for Cocoons.
 
 
 
 CHAPTER II 
 Woman's Work. Weaving Silk, etc. 
 
 All girls, everywhere, 
 
 Should learn woman's work. 
 
 In weaving cloth, 
 
 Distinguish between the coarse and fine ; 
 
 When sitting at the loom work carefully ; 
 
 When boiling the silk cocoons, 
 
 Collecting for them the mulberry and 
 
 chia leaves, 
 In all be very diligent. 
 Protect the worms from wind and rain. 
 If cold, warm them by the fire ; 
 Keep them in a clean place ; 
 As the young ones grow, 
 Transfer them to baskets, but crowd 
 
 them not ; 
 Provide them leaves, not too many nor 
 
 too few. 
 Making silk, be careful of the straight and 
 
 cross threads, so you will make a 
 
 perfect piece.
 
 When finished remove the gauze at once 
 
 from the loom. 
 Cotton cloth fold and lay in boxes or 
 
 baskets. 
 Silk, cotton, and the two kinds of grass 
 
 cloth, 
 
 All learn perfectly to make, 
 Then you can sell to others, 
 And yourself have clothing to wear. 
 
 Using the Needle 
 
 To embroider shoes, stitch stockings, 
 
 Mend clothes, and unite cloth, 
 
 Trim and quilt garments, 
 
 All such work should you be able to do. 
 
 If you follow these instructions, 
 
 Whether it be cold or warm, 
 
 You will have suitable clothing, 
 
 And rags and poverty you will not know. 
 
 Do not imitate lazy women 
 
 Who from youth to womanhood have 
 been stupid ; 
 
 Not having exerted themselves in wom- 
 an's work,
 
 cz.cc 
 
 They are prepared for neither cold nor 
 
 warm weather. 
 
 Their sewing is so miserable, 
 People both laugh at and despise them. 
 The idle girl, going forth to be married, 
 Injures the reputation of her husband's 
 
 whole family. 
 
 Her clothes are ragged and dirty. 
 She vainly pulls the west over to cover the 
 
 east. \_Note: A sly pull to hide a 
 
 rent.] 
 
 She is a disgrace to her village. 
 I thus exhort and warn the girls, 
 Let them hear and learn. 

 
 D 
 
 CHAPTER in 
 On Politeness 
 
 All girls, everywhere, 
 
 Should learn woman's work. 
 
 When women guests are expected, 
 
 You should the chairs arrange in order. 
 
 Let your own dress be neat and suitable. 
 
 Slowly and lightly walk ; 
 
 Move not your hands about ; 
 
 And let your voice be gentle and low. 
 
 With such deportment 
 
 Invite your guests to enter: 
 
 Present your salutations, 
 
 Inquiring after their welfare since last you 
 
 met. 
 
 In conversation with them, 
 Talk not at random. 
 When they questions ask, or answer, 
 Give most polite attention. 
 In asking of their welfare,
 
 <i 
 
 Or talking of yourself, in a low voice 
 
 speak ; 
 The tea and refreshments carefully pre- 
 
 pare. \Note: " Afternoon teas " evi- 
 
 dently are not modern.] 
 Politely receive guests, 
 And exhaust courtesy when they depart 
 Do not imitate those 
 Who only regard themselves, 
 And show no respect to others. 
 Such receive few guests, 
 Because they know not politeness. 
 As a guest, demand nothing ; 
 As a hostess, exhaust hospitality. 
 When you go to a friend's house 
 Be not eager to receive attentions. 
 Having exchanged greetings and taken 
 
 tea, 
 Immediately your business then make 
 
 known, 
 
 This finished, at once rise to go, 
 Observing all courtesy in departing. 
 If the hostess prevails upon you to longer 
 
 stay, 
 
 3t:
 
 < < ... - 
 
 /_* 
 
 And a feast for you prepares, 
 Remember the wine to only raise to your 
 
 lips. 
 Your chopsticks, place not on the table 
 
 crossed, 
 
 But use them with propriety and grace. 
 The refilling your cup with wine steadily 
 
 refuse. 
 
 Follow not your desires, just to eat, eat ! 
 Imitate not those rude women 
 Who with confusion eat, drink, and talk ; 
 Drinking wine until crazy, 
 They shamefully vomit their food ; 
 In this state going home, 
 Before reaching their house, 
 Many shameful, rude acts will they do. 
 
 \Note: The evils of wine drinking 
 
 were recognized eighteen hundred 
 
 and twenty years ago !] 
 Outside of your house you should seldom 
 
 go, 
 
 Nor into the street for pleasure. 
 If persons unknown you meet, 
 Your head and eyes quickly lower.
 
 Do not imitate stupid women 
 
 Who gad about from house to house. 
 
 These speak many idle words, 
 
 And cause others evil to speak of them. 
 
 Such may not escape reproof. 
 
 Their families by them are injured, 
 
 Their parents greatly dishonored. 
 
 Still another class imitate not 
 
 Those whose deeds are so evil 
 
 That they are shameful, fearful, 
 
 And disreputable ! 
 
 ::. :
 
 Arranging Dining Room Table.
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 On Early Rising 
 
 All girls, everywhere, 
 
 Listen to the following : 
 
 Before the sun has fully risen, 
 
 At the cock's crowing time 
 
 Arise, and dress yourself with care. 
 
 Dress neatly, not showily. 
 
 Comb your hair and wash your face ; 
 
 Then at once to the kitchen go ; 
 
 Of the fire be very careful. 
 
 See that the kitchen is clean, 
 
 And all the cooking utensils. 
 
 Your food in quantity and quality, 
 
 Prepare very carefully, 
 
 According to the poverty or riches of 
 
 your family. 
 In seasoning food, 
 Observe careful rules. 
 Be not careless as to whether the food 
 Shall be sweet, fresh, and fragrant. 
 Let the cups and plates be clean,
 
 And arranged in order on the table. 
 
 Let the three meals be regular, 
 
 And properly prepared. 
 
 At daylight rising, 
 
 Delay not upon the day's work to enter. 
 
 Lazy women do not imitate ; 
 
 They are too idle even to think. 
 
 When dark, they go to sleep, 
 
 And when the sun is three feet high, 
 
 They still are in their beds. 
 
 When they rise, it is already late ; 
 
 But for this they know not shame. 
 
 They hasten to the kitchen, 
 
 With hair uncombed and face unwashed. 
 
 The tea and rice by them prepared 
 
 Is scarcely fit to eat, 
 
 And all they do is withhaste and confusion. 
 
 Another class there is you must not imitate. 
 
 They think of nothing but eating ; 
 
 Before the food is fully prepared, 
 
 Before their husbands have eaten, 
 
 They are eating, here a little, there a little. 
 
 Surely this is very disgraceful ! 
 
 Of such conduct beware. 
 
 -- ' " 
 
 I
 
 Praylng for Sick Parent before Ancestral Tablets.
 
 CHAPTER V 
 On Reverence for Parents 
 
 Girls not yet gone out from their homes 
 
 [not married] 
 
 Must carefully reverence their parents ; 
 Early rise, and to them 
 The morning salutations present. 
 If cold, build a fire to warm them ; 
 If warm, use the fan to cool them ; 
 If they are hungry, hasten to supply them 
 
 food; 
 
 If thirsty, prepare for them the tea. 
 If your parents rebuke you, 
 Receive it not impatiently, 
 But, standing in their presence, 
 Hear with reverence and obedient heart, 
 And repent of and forsake the wrong. 
 The words of your parents, 
 Regard as beyond all others important ; 
 Obey their instructions ; 
 Turn not away your head, 
 
 Jk 
 
 ft v-=^i M~ iy --y "M VfrV.
 
 And be not stiff-necked. 
 If you do wrong, confess to your parents, 
 Requesting instruction and reproof. 
 When your parents become old, 
 Morning and night be sorrowful and fear- 
 ful ; 
 
 Their clothes, food, and drink, 
 With the utmost care provide, 
 Observing the demands 
 Of the four seasons in your care for them. 
 If your parents are sick, 
 Leave not their bedside, 
 Loosen not your girdle to lie down ; 
 The tea and the medicine, 
 Yourself first taste 
 To be sure that it is just right. 
 Cease not to cry unto heaven, 
 Or to pray in the ancestral temple, 
 That they may be restored. 
 Never let it be said 
 That your parents died 
 For lack of attention from you. 
 When they die 
 Your very bones should grieve, 
 
 > -i f
 
 TC* 
 
 And to your life's end cease not to mourn. 
 
 Griefs clothing, for your parents, 
 
 Three years you must wear ; 
 
 The sacrificial offering to them, 
 
 You must never cease to make. 
 
 Thus should you honor your ancestors.
 
 Making the Bed for Mother-in-law.
 
 IF 
 
 
 
 : 
 
 i 
 
 > 
 
 : 
 
 j 
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 On the Reverence Due Father and Mother- 
 in-law 
 
 Father and mother-in-law 
 
 Are your husband's family. 
 
 When you arrive at their threshold 
 
 You become a new woman ; 
 
 Reverence and serve them 
 
 As your own parents. 
 
 Honor greatly your father-in-law; 
 
 Before him, let neither gladness nor sorrow 
 
 Show forth in your face. 
 
 Dare not even to walk behind him ; 
 
 Stand not before him when you speak, 
 
 But to one side or behind him, 
 
 And hasten his every command to obey. 
 
 When your mother-in-law sits 
 
 You should respectfully stand ; 
 
 Obey quickly her commands. 
 
 In the morning early rise 
 
 And quietly open the doors,
 
 Making no noise to waken her ; 
 
 Her toilet articles hasten to prepare; 
 
 Her washbowl and towel, 
 
 Her toothbrush and powder 
 
 All bring together. 
 
 [Note: Eighteen hundred and twenty 
 
 years ago toothbrushes in China !] 
 Let not the water be too cold or too hot, 
 When the mother-in-law wakens, 
 All these things respectfully present tc 
 
 her, 
 
 Then immediately retire to one side, 
 Until her toilet is completed. 
 Then approach and present the morning 
 
 salutations ; 
 
 Again retire and prepare her tea. 
 Quickly and cheerfully carry it to her ; 
 After which the breakfast table arrange ; 
 Place the spoons and chopsticks straight. 
 The rice cook soft, and 
 Let the meat be thoroughly done. 
 From ancient days until now, 
 Old people have had sick teeth ; 
 Therefore, let not the food be so dry
 
 Li 
 
 That your mother-in-law 
 
 With labor vainly eats. 
 
 Daily the three meals 
 
 Thus carefully prepare. 
 
 When darkness comes, 
 
 And your great one [mother-in-law] de- 
 sires to sleep, 
 
 Carefully for her spread the bed, 
 
 When she may peacefully rest, 
 
 And you may retire to your room. 
 
 Following these instructions, 
 
 All your superiors will praise you, 
 
 All that know you will esteem you as 
 good. 
 
 Do not imitate that other class 
 
 Who care not for woman's duties. 
 
 Loudly they talk before their superiors ; 
 
 When told to do anything, 
 
 They ever answer, " My body is tired," 
 
 When truly they are only lazy. 
 
 They obey not their superiors, 
 
 Nor care whether they are hungry or 
 cold ; 
 
 The reputation of such is wholly bad ;
 
 Heaven and earth have no patience with 
 
 them! 
 Thunder and lightning are angry with 
 
 them ! 
 
 When their punishment comes 
 Their repentance is too late, 
 There is then left no road of escape. 
 
 y * * " "^ n^rr-ir- n
 
 I 
 
 K 
 
 G 
 
 '^V^v^W<; 
 
 ~ > VVTicVvC. yw^, Qo^vr-jy' y \~?y^ y 
 
 
 l 'i 
 
 Drinking Wine Together in Marriage Ceremony.
 
 CHAPTER VH 
 On Reverencing the Husband 
 
 When a girl leaves her father's house 
 
 Her husband thereafter 
 
 Is her nearest relative. 
 
 In her former state, before she was born, 
 
 Her relations in the present world were 
 fixed. 
 
 Her husband is to her as heaven f 
 
 How dare she fail to reverence him ? 
 
 The husband commands, the wife obeys ; 
 
 Yet let there be mutual grace and love ; 
 
 Let them be to each other as guests in 
 politeness ; 
 
 But whenever the husband speaks 
 
 Let the wife give careful attention. 
 
 If her husband does wrong, 
 
 Let her only exhort and persuade him, 
 
 And not imitate stupid women 
 
 Who call down calamities on bad hus- 
 bands.
 
 u 
 
 S-. I Mm _V _'t m 7'^ -"_. - _'V- 
 
 ~ 
 
 When the husband goes out 
 
 The wife should respectfully ask how far 
 
 he must walk. 
 
 If by the middle of the night 
 He has not returned home, 
 She may not sleep, but must still wait 
 
 for him, 
 
 Keep the light burning and his food hot, 
 Until she hears his knock at the door. 
 Do not imitate lazy women 
 Who go to bed before it is dark. 
 If the husband is sick, 
 Let the wife, with careful hand, 
 Administer all the medicine, 
 Exhausting every means to restore him, 
 And failing not to beseech the gods 
 That his life may be prolonged. 
 Imitate not stupid women 
 Who at such times know not sorrow. 
 If the husband is angry, 
 Let not the wife be angry in return, 
 But meekly yield to him, 
 And press down her angry feelings. 
 Do not imitate bad women
 
 Who are ready to quarrel with their 
 husbands. 
 
 The winter and summer clothing for the 
 husband 
 
 Wash carefully and mend neatly. 
 
 Let him not be either too cold or too 
 hot, 
 
 To the injury of his bodily health. 
 
 His daily food carefully prepare ; 
 
 Let not his stomach be empty, 
 
 Nor his mouth thirsty, 
 
 Lest his body become thin 
 
 And his heart sorrowful ! 
 
 [Note: Evidently the charm of a good 
 meal for keeping husbands' tempers 
 sweet and hearts merry was known 
 by our Chinese sisters eighteen hun- 
 dred and twenty years ago !] 
 
 If your husband is sweet, be you sweet; 
 
 If sorrowful, be you sorrowful ; 
 
 If he is rich, you are rich ; 
 
 If he is poor, you also are poor. 
 
 In life you are one ; 
 
 In death let the same grave cover you.
 
 Following these instructions, 
 
 You will live with your husband 
 
 In joyous accord, 
 
 As perfect as that of the sweetest music, 
 
 And many will sound abroad your fame.
 
 Garden Scene.
 
 CHAPTER 
 On the Instruction of Children 
 
 Families generally have both boys and 
 girls. 
 
 When they are three or four years old 
 
 It is important to begin their instruction. 
 
 This work is truly the mother's. 
 
 When old enough to have teachers 
 
 The boys and the girls may not study 
 together, 
 
 But in different rooms, with different 
 teachers. 
 
 First let them learn politeness ; 
 
 Afterward their respective duties in life. 
 
 Then they may learn to compose 
 
 Both poetry and prose. 
 
 Their teacher let them obey and rever- 
 ence, 
 
 And carefully present to him the usual 
 gifts. 
 
 When first he is invited to teach
 
 Let great politeness be observed, 
 
 And no confusion occur. 
 
 When the spring flowers open, 
 
 And the moon shines at night, 
 
 Let the children play in the garden, 
 
 And let wine be brought to the teacher ; 
 
 Ever regard him as one of the family. 
 
 The women on meeting the teacher 
 
 May only speak one sentence in salutation, 
 
 Then immediately retire to the inner 
 apartments. 
 
 \_Note : Teachers are treated with the ut- 
 most respect, as, being literary men, 
 they are of the aristocracy.] 
 
 Girls must dwell in the secluded rooms ; 
 
 Seldom permit them to go outside. 
 
 When they are called they must come ; 
 
 When told to go, let them obey. 
 
 If disobedient in the least, 
 
 Use small switches and punish them. 
 
 The inner rooms' [girls'] instructions 
 
 Most carefully observe. 
 
 Sweeping the rooms, burning the in- 
 cense,
 
 And all the duties of women, 
 
 Let the girls thoroughly learn. 
 
 Teach them the courtesies to guests, 
 
 That they may know how to present 
 salutations, 
 
 And to restrain their voices ; 
 
 To carry tea and refreshments to guests, 
 
 Walking steadily and with grace. 
 
 Let them not be petted and spoiled, 
 
 Causing other people to talk about 
 them. 
 
 Let them not go to other houses, 
 
 Lest they cease to respect strangers. 
 
 Let them not sing songs, 
 
 Lest their voices be heard outside, 
 
 And evil words be spoken of them. 
 
 Let them not play here, there, and every- 
 where, 
 
 Lest their deeds become evil. 
 
 The present generation's children 
 
 Are very bad ; 
 
 They have learned nothing. 
 
 Boys know not how to read ; 
 
 They grow up following their own wills,
 
 L fi 
 
 Drinking wine, and seeking only amuse- 
 
 ment, 
 
 Living idle and useless lives, 
 Singing songs and dancing, 
 Disregarding their family duties, 
 And fearing not their country's laws. 
 Girls, too, are unwilling to learn ; 
 They are stubborn and talkative ; 
 They know little of woman's duties, 
 Thus they injure themselves and their 
 
 superiors. 
 When grown, they find themselves dis- 
 
 graced. 
 Then they are displeased with their 
 
 parents, 
 
 And think not to blame themselves ; 
 Their evil words hurt their parents' ears. 
 Such girls are worse than wild cats !
 
 Kitchen and Preparing Food.
 
 
 CHAPTER DC 
 On Attention to Domestic Duties 
 
 Economy and industry 
 
 Are the sources of family prosperity ; 
 
 Industry builds the house; 
 
 Idleness will pull it down. 
 
 Economy enriches the family ; 
 
 Extravagance impoverishes it. 
 
 Throughout life girls must work. 
 
 The whole day's work is in that of the 
 
 early morning ; 
 The whole year's work is in that of the 
 
 spring. 
 
 Girls must learn to sweep and clean ; 
 What cannot be swept must be washed. 
 Think not such work unimportant ; 
 So everyone will see your neatness, 
 And your whole house will be bright. 
 In planting the fine grains, 
 And the cotton seed, 
 Be not careless and wasteful.
 
 In cooking the rice and soup 
 
 Always have the proper heat. 
 
 Do not be careless, 
 
 And cook this too much and that too 
 
 little, 
 
 This too soon and that too late, 
 So that which might have been good 
 Is spoiled, and the family's stomachs 
 Are still empty, and mouths thirsty ! 
 The rice chaff and refuse 
 Preserve for the animals to eat. 
 Let them out to feed, 
 And at the proper time call them in. 
 Let them not wander away 
 And trouble the neighbors. 
 The husbands money and rice 
 Carefully put in a safe place. 
 Husband's wine and sweetmeats 
 Do not secretly take ! 
 Let the bins or granaries 
 Be filled with fine grains. 
 The soy [a sauce], salt, pepper, and bean 
 
 preserves 
 Put in properly cleaned vessels. 
 
 3 . :
 
 Of pigs, chickens, geese, and ducks 
 
 Raise very many. 
 
 Thus throughout the year, 
 
 And for all its feasts and festivals, 
 
 You will have a varied and abundant 
 
 supply, 
 And thus husband and wife have peace 
 
 and joy. 
 
 Great riches are the gift of heaven ; 
 A satisfying supply, the gift of industry. 
 
 u 
 
 ^fes
 
 Morning Salutation to Male Guest.
 
 CHAPTER X 
 On the Treatment of Guests 
 
 All families should be hospitable. 
 When a guest is expected 
 See that the chairs and tables, 
 Plates and bowls are all in order. 
 If it is a male guest, 
 The wife may not be seen, 
 But, near the reception room, 
 Await her husband's orders. 
 If tea is wanted, 
 See that it is promptly brought. 
 If the guest remains to eat and sleep, 
 Wait for the husband to come 
 And say what he wishes prepared ; 
 Whether to kill chickens and cook vege- 
 tables, 
 
 Or only offer refreshments. 
 Carefully see that the seasoning is suitable, 
 And food properly prepared. 
 With such care 
 A wife brings reputation to her house.
 
 If the guest remains overnight, 
 
 See that the lamps or candles are in 
 order, 
 
 His room and bed carefully arranged, 
 
 With due reference to the weather, 
 
 That the guest may rest in comfort. 
 
 With modest face, and low voice, 
 
 Present the morning salutations. 
 
 In all this you please 
 
 Not only your husband, but all his family. 
 
 Do not imitate those careless women 
 
 Who do not look after the reception room ; 
 
 Who are hurried and without self-posses- 
 sion, 
 
 And therefore do nothing properly. 
 
 Such are very angry 
 
 When the husband invites a guest to stay. 
 
 They bring chopsticks, but no spoons ; 
 
 Salt, but no pepper. 
 
 Before the guest has eaten 
 
 They are eating; 
 
 They whip the boys, 
 
 And scold the girls, 
 
 And all is confusion.
 
 Such disgrace their husbands, 
 
 And mortify the guests. 
 
 If a guest arrives 
 
 When the husband is absent, 
 
 Send a small child to inquire 
 
 Whence he comes. 
 
 If he looks like a friend, 
 
 Send and ask his name 
 
 And invite him to enter, 
 
 Then with hair in order and dress neat, 
 
 The wife may enter the reception room, 
 
 And present her salutations. 
 
 Then let the tea be served, 
 
 And observe all politeness. 
 
 After he has taken tea 
 
 She should inquire his business, 
 
 And if he is a very near friend or relation, 
 
 She may invite him to await her husband's 
 
 return. 
 
 But if he desires to go, 
 She may accompany him only 
 To the reception room entrance. 
 I exhort all women 
 To follow these instructions.
 
 Neighbors Visiting.
 
 crz: 
 ' 
 
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 On Gentleness and Harmony 
 
 For the family's prosperity, 
 
 There are very good rules ; 
 
 Women should zealously learn them. 
 
 Of these, to follow peace 
 
 Is of the first importance. 
 
 Obedience in all things is the next. 
 
 If father or mother-in-law reprove, 
 
 Receive it meekly without anger ; 
 
 If your husband's younger sister or sister- 
 in-law 
 
 Do any wrong, meddle not ; 
 
 This is not your affair. 
 
 Live in peace with both your superiors 
 and inferiors. 
 
 " Whether it is or is not, let it be all the 
 same to you ; 
 
 Whether long or short, never mind, do 
 not quarrel." 
 
 [Note: A proverb teaching contentment 
 under all circumstances.] 
 
 _ 
 
 U
 
 Tell not the family affairs abroad. 
 
 With your neighbors at your right and 
 left, 
 
 Constantly exhaust courtesy. 
 
 In visiting with or receiving visits from 
 them, 
 
 In exchanging salutations or congratula- 
 tions, 
 
 Have a true heart and pleasant face. 
 
 When it is time to talk, talk; 
 
 When it is time to do, do! 
 
 Let not other people's business enter your 
 doors. 
 
 Imitate not those foolish women 
 
 Who have not good principles, 
 
 Who are untruthful and unchaste in con- 
 versation, 
 
 And who dare to be angry with their 
 superiors. 
 
 I exhort all to consider the result of their 
 words, 
 
 Regard the past, and take into account 
 the future.
 
 O
 
 CHAPTER XH 
 On the Cultivation of Virtue 
 
 From ancient times until now 
 
 The examples of the " nine upright and 
 three pure ones " 
 
 Have been ours to look upon. 
 
 Their names and characters were recorded 
 
 In the national odes, and handed down 
 to us. 
 
 But how few have followed in their foot- 
 steps ! 
 
 Yet anyone who has the desire and will 
 
 May, like them, be good and honorable. 
 
 It is of the first importance 
 
 To have correct principles; 
 
 Next to be pure and upright in act. 
 
 If there are male guests in the reception 
 room, 
 
 Do not go forth from your own room ; 
 
 If they be even near your own door, 
 
 Let not curiosity lead you forth to speak 
 to them. 
 
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 CHAPTER XII 
 On the Cultivation of Virtue 
 
 From ancient times until now 
 
 The examples of the " nine upright and 
 
 three pure ones " 
 Have been ours to look upon. 
 Their names and characters were recorded 
 In the national odes, and handed down 
 
 to us. 
 But how few have followed in their foot- 
 
 steps ! 
 
 Yet anyone who has the desire and will 
 May, like them, be good and honorable. 
 It is of the first importance 
 To have correct principles; 
 Next to be pure and upright in act. 
 If there are male guests in the reception 
 
 room, 
 
 Do not go forth from your own room ; 
 If they be even near your own door, 
 Let not curiosity lead you forth to speak 
 
 to them. 
 
 f 
 
 t^-*
 
 
 
 Do not talk secretly with people, 
 
 And let not an unchaste thought enter 
 your heart. 
 
 After the sun goes down, go not from 
 your room 
 
 To any part of the house without a light. 
 
 Lest going into the darkness, 
 
 You meet with unspeakable evil. 
 
 If you do wrong once, 
 
 This may lead to wrong in everything. 
 
 One evil act done and a hundred follow. 
 
 Heaven determines the relations of hus- 
 band and wife ; 
 
 This truth is heavier than a mountain. 
 
 If you come to misfortune and grief, 
 
 If when you have walked but half life's 
 road, 
 
 Your husband should die, 
 
 Then put on the three years' mourning. 
 
 Think not of marrying again. 
 
 \Note : It is very meritorious for a woman 
 to remain a widow, and special honors 
 are paid her.] 
 
 Devote yourself to your husband's family ;
 
 Reverence his parents, instruct his chil- 
 dren ; 
 
 Guard and increase his estate ; 
 Carefully keep in order his grave, 
 And observe all the sacrificial rites. 
 People who are born -must die ; 
 This is true of everyone 
 The heavens beneath. 
 This book of instructions to women 
 Is now completed. 
 If they will but hear and follow, 
 Their happiness will be immeasurable, 
 Their light as that of the sun and moon. 
 Carefully read, remember, and obey. 
 
 -u
 
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 Los Angeles TAClUTY 
 
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