: 3W THE ROBERT E. COWRN COLLECTION PRESKNTED TO THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA C. P. HUNTINGTON JUNE, 1897. Accession No /A" 76 L Class No. ^*m ^m^^^m^^^^^^^^^ K,^ >^^i ^WM^ PUBLISHED 8r M.SCHMIQT&CQ. W COMMERCIAL STS.f. SHADRACH S. STEVENS' SPECULATIONS. SALLIE SPARKLE'S SERIO-COMIC STORY. PUBLISHED AND ILLUSTRATED BY M. SCHMIDT & CO., 412 Commercial Street. i8 7/ . Entered according to Act of Congress, m the year 1877, by J. A. POND, in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. Sincerely submitting Shadrach S. Stevens' Speculations, SALLIE SPARKLE, SCRIBBLER, SALUTES Sanfrancisco speculators, \ \ sensible spouses, solitary spinsters, sojourning strangers, specially soliciting scrutinizing students sympathy. Sanctum Sanctorum, Sanfrancisco, September Seventeenth, Seventy-Seven. OME six summers since, sagacious Shadrach S. Stevens suddenly suspended several stupen- dous speculative schemes. Seeing stocks so steadily sinking, scarcely salable Shadrach swore severely, saying, such stagnation, such shocking stringency, staggers Sanfrancisco's sharpest speculators. Sarah Stevens, Shadrach's sole surviving, self- satisfied sedate spinster sister, sat serenely stitch- ing some showy slippers. Suddenly she started, screaming: "Stop! such swearing shocks scrupulous sensibilities; suppress such sinful speeches!" Shadrach stood stone-still some sixty seconds, silently surveying spunky, sharp-spoken sister Sarah. Shadrach's silence soon subdued Sarah's surly spirit ; she stopped stitching. "Shadrach," said she, somewhat sorry she spoke so snappishly, "suppose some sudden strike should send stocks spinning? Suc- cessive summer seasons show similar suppression; stop snarling, show sounder sense; stop swearing, stop smoking, stop swallowing stimula- tive spirits, stop squandering specie, stop shorting stocks ! " 'See sad shatter- brained specu- lators suffering Stockton seclusion. Successless stock speculation sometimes subverts sound sense ; sends swindled share - holders savagely seeking self- destruction; sends surviving soul- stricken sufferers sorrowing ! " "Start sight-seeing, Shadrach; seek some salubrious spot, sequestered sylvan shade, sparkling streams, sunny semper- virent slopes, suburban solitudes, sublime scenery. See Shasta's snowy summit, Sierra's sceneful steeps, Santa - cruz's sea-side scenes." "Seek strengthening sport- say shooting, sailing, swimming ; stop sparking silly sentimental school-girls," said she, slyly suggest- ing sage Socrates' scolding spouse. ' Study Scripture, seek spirit- ual solace : Sanfrancisco stock- brokers seem shamefully sacrileg- ious, shamefully so," sighed Sarah, significantly surveying self- con- victed Shadrach. (4) "Sunday sees supercilious swindling scamps, sanctimoniously seeking sanctuary shelter, singing sacred songs, superintending Sab- bath - schools, sanctiloquently speaking, sinfully sharing sanctified sacraments. Such simulated spir- itual -mindedness seriously stigma- tizes sacred subjects stigmatizes sacred societies." Shadrach stood speechless stubbornly silent; studiously slighting Sarah's sensible ser- ~ mon. Such sweeping satirical speeches scathed sensitive Shad- rach's soul. [_l BRA AT OF TUB UNIVERSITY (6) OME seasons since, Shadrach Stevens stood shirtless ! seedy second-hand suit, shabby shoes, sans stockings, sans suspenders, strenuously seeking some steady straight-for- ward salaried situation, steadily surmounting stumbling - stones, sanguinely saying: "Sunshine succeeds storm, so surely shall success supersede such suffering." Skillful Sarah solicited sewing. Sarah's small square sign silently specified: "SARAH STEVENS, SEAMSTRESS." She sedulously stitched sheets, sacques, shirts, skirts, suits ; steadily showing Shad- rach sweet sisterly sympathy; supplying simple sustenance, safe shelter; soothing Shadrach's surging spirits. Senator Shaw's stylish sister Susan ^^J*^ sometimes secured Sarah's services ; she seldom slighted sewing ; she suited 'scrupu- lous Susan Shaw. Sarah's splendid smooth-speeding substantial Singer sewing-machine stitched superfinely. Semi-occa- sionally she sensibly sought Singer's supurb Sutter-street salesrooms, selected superior standard sewing silks, sundry small sewing-machine specialties. Singer's superintending sales- men salute strangers smilingly; sed- ulously show salable stock; sin- cerely specify sure satisfaction. Susan solaced struggling Sarah. She spoke sympathetically, saying : " Senator Shaw shall see Shadrach suitably situated." Senator Shaw, Senator T^f Shaw, seeing Shadrach's superior sta- jjfr bility, sug- gested secre- ptaryship, straightway securing such steep i! salaried satisfactory situation. Subsequently, surrounding splendor supplanted sorry struggles. Shadrach's stupendous strikes startled Sanfrancisco's shrewdest speculators. Success supplemented success. Several successive sea- sons saw Shadrach successfully selling successfully shorting stocks. Speculative Shadrach showed surprising sagacity, seldom suffering severe set-backs. Such splendid surroundings, sumptuous stables, spirited steeds, solid stone structures, stately stores, superb steamers, swift-sailing ships, sundry safe securities strongly suggested surpass- ing success. UNIVERSITY *>*> *i t^%^ ** *.3to/t:"7^ ***># ?L W7t&. ISTER," said Shadrach, satisfied Sarah's suggestion seemed soundly sensible, " Santa-cruz steamer sails "^"^fc ^ Saturday: select several stylish sea-side suits ; shall secure state-roomssailing Saturday sure!" So say- ing, Shadrach started; secured satisfactory state-rooms ; sensible Sarah selected seven serviceable sea - side suits. Saturday's sun saw Shad- rach serenely" sailing southward. Sarah smiled, seeing Shadrach so sport- ive. Short-sighted Sarah ! Shadrach soon showed strange symptoms. Several swarthy sailors smiled; Shadrach's sable servant, Sam, snickered ! "Sea -sick?" said Sarah, sympathetically seeking Shad- rach's side. "Slightly squeamish," stam- mered Shadrach, staggering side-wise. Such serious spasmodic symptoms startled Sarah. She suggested "smelling-salts;" say- ing, "Sam, secure some sooth- ing specific ; settle Sir Stevens' sensitive stomach ! " Silently suffering similar sensations, sym- ^ pathetic Sarah speedily sought state-room seclu- sion. "Soothing specific!" snapped Shadrach scorn- 7\ fully. " Suppose such stuff subdues sea - sick- ness? Sam, secure something strengthen- ing some strong stimu- lative spirits." "'Sartin," said Sam, sententiously, straightway seeking saloon specialties. SUMMER'S setting sun silvered surging seas. So soon, Shadrach, supporting sister Sarah, stepped safely shoreward. ' Stage, sir ? stage, sir ? " shouted several special solicitors. ' Santa-cruz stage," said Shadrach, summarily seeing spiritless Sarah satisfacto- rily seated. Sam, smilingly shouldered sun- _H strange ssters. Sylvester Smith, TM sanctified speaker, supplicated spirit- ual strength. Solemnly selecting some suitable sacred song, said : ' Sing six stanzas." Sister Skidmore sang soprano. Slowly surveying saints, sinners, sojourning strangers, Sylvester specified, " See sec- ond Samuel: sixth, sixteenth." So saying, Sylvester spake Scriptural salvation. Suddenly, somebody snored ! Sub - deacon Skid- more sat sleeping soundly. Sister Skidmore slyly shook Solomon, saying, ''silence!" (10) SECULAR Shadrach, slowly sauntering sea - ward, spied Selena Stebbins se- lecting shells, stones, mosses. She sat serenely separating some saturated sub-marine sea- weeds, saving small sprays, softly singing sweet soul-inspiring strains. Shadrach stood spell- ed seat, Shad- mch quizing ; steadfastly surveying simple sun-burnt Selina - - se- raphic sea-shore songstress ! Soft summer skies, sparkling sunshine, solemn sound- ing surgful seas, stretching shell-strewn silvery strands- t-Ji)ihiiv ll &"< IIMI surrounded semi-con- ImlSMi bound, silently ".*&*?:*"* studying such sweet simplicity. Seeking some ^ shadeful, shelter- scions Shadrach. Suddenly, some smart - spir- ited, self- defensive sand - wasps spitefully stung serenely settled Shadrach. Springing several steps side - wise, simultaneously scattering sundry satanic sand- wasps, severely stung, suffering, swearing, Shadrach S. Stevens skedaddled. Shadrach sub- ^serviently sought Squire Steb- bins' society; socially sipped soda, sherry, sweet spiced sangaree ; smoked superfin (ii) Smitten Shadrach, sedulously sought Selina's sanctioning smile ; studiously sought salubrious sport ; sailed ; strolled seaward ; some- times sought silent sequestered shade. Shadrach seldom solicited sister Sarah's society. Selina seldom stayed solacing Squire Stebbins : she socially shared Shadrach's sportive . saunterings ; she sketched skillfully so Shadrach subtly selected secluded sceneful spots ; she submitted sketchy specimens- steadily securing Shadrach's satisfactory smiles. Sweet, sunny, spark- ling Selina ! she scattered Shadrach's senses. URVEILLANT Sarah, soon surmised something strange. She said : "Shadrach's surely spark- ing somebody." So she slyly sought sequestered shade, satisfied she'd see Shadrach's sweet - heart : stealthily stepping, she soon secured safe shelter. Sep- arating some spreading shrubs, she spied Shadrach smacking sweet submissive Selina ! Sarah seemed surprised. "Simpleton!" said she sneeringly, "sparking Squire Stebbin's step - daughter ! silly simpering school-girl ! '' Such strange sights shocked sedate sister Sarah, so she said ; still she stayed, safely screened, surrep- titiously surveying such sacred soul-entrancing scenes. " See ! " shouted Selina, suddenly spying sus- picious storm signs, "sheet-lightning suffuses sombre (12) skies, superseding smiling sunshine, signifying storm!" Such statements startled Sarah : she scampered. ; ' Sprinkling, sure! " said Shadrach, speedily securing sundry scrap-book sketches. Shadrach spread Seli- na's small silk sunshade; she scrupulously secured snowy skirts,showing symmetrically shaped small - sized shoes. Safely supporting said smil- ing sweetheart, Shadrach started 't~ V? Spattering sprinkles soon saturated Shad- rach's span-new stiffly-starched summer suit. Strange, Selma should show such slight sense : she surveyed storm-spattered Shadrach, sarcastically saying, " sweet specimen ! " Sensitive, shame-faced Shadrach stumbled, scattered scrap - book sketches, smashed Se- lina's small sunshade stick. Spontaneously screaming, Seli- na stood statuesque! Scrutinizing sprawling Shadrach somewhat sternly, she sadly surveyed shattered sunshade, sorrowfully scanned spoiled scrap-book sketches. Summer showers soon subside; so sparkling sunshine soon super- sedes sullen stormful skies. (18) SE L i N A'S suitor solicited speedy spousal. She said, see step -father Stebbins. So Shadrach summoned Squire Stebbins succinctly stating soul-felt sentiments. Squire Stebbins said, "sup- J pose so ; " successive smiles signifying satisfaction. Sylvester Smith solemnized ' **-d/*/i Shadrach's spousal. September sixteenth saw sweet, sprightly ^ Selina, scarcely seventeen, Shadrach Stevens spouse. . . -i . J ss&sssite&^w^ * < s*-^i^s%3Ss*ufi (14) Shadrach stopped swearing, stopped sipping stimulative spirits, stopped shorting stocks, sensibly saved surplus specie. Shrewd speculators, seductive savings-bank schemers, showing superficial securities, suasively sought Shadrach's side. Sharp sighted Shadrach specially sought safe securities - - sensibly shunned sensa- tion'al speculations. HORTLY since, sundry savings - bank sus- pensions shocked Sanfrancisco society. Spurious stock, sham securities, swamped speculative Senator S h a \v. Sixty-seven summers see silvery-haired Senator Shaw still sprightly. Shadrach shows substantial sympathy, superabundantly supporting said suddenly straitened statesman. Sister Sarah sees Susan suitably supplied. Six speeding summers see Shadrach still successful, serenely set- tled, supremely satisfied, supporting Selina sumptuously. Selina sensibly seeks Samuels' spacious store ; spends Shadrach's surplus specie, shopping. Smooth-spoken solert salesmen smilingly salute stately Selina; she selects substantial silks, satins, superb shawls, splendid sunshades, soft silken stockings, sundry staple specialties. Samuels supplies Selina's stylish suits, superior street sacques, silken skirts, sashes, scarfs. Shadrach's semi-annual settlements seem satis- factory. Samuels seems strictly straight-forward ; steadily sanction- ing sincere statements. Stylish Sanfrancisco sirens sometimes see Shadrach strutting Sutter street ; sometimes see Shadrach's superior spouse. She shuns strong - minded sisters, suffragists, spiritualists ; scorns superficial society, scorns superficial show. She smilingly seeks Shadrach's side ; satisfactorily sovereignizes Shadrach's splendidly situated superb stone structure ; systematically supervises several sable servants ; sensibly superintends Shadrach's small sprightly son, Silas. Silas seems stubbornly self-willed, screams, sulks, sometimes strikes Selina's serving-maid. Selina subjugates such shocking symp- toms she spanks Silas soundly. Shadrach's sable servant, Sam, sheepishly sought Selina's special serving-maid, Susanna's smiles ; she scornfully spurned such solicita- tions, shamefully snubbed sequacious Sam. Slightly suspecting Susanna, Sam swore she surreptitiously se- creted Selina's solid silver spoons, steadily stole sugar, starch, spice. Seasonable search substantiated Sam's surmised statements. Shud- dering Susanna sobbingly succumbed ; surrendering several stolen spoons, she supplicatingly sought saintly Sarah's supervening sympathy. (16) Sarah Stevens seldom slighted sinning subordinates; she strivingly saved Susanna's situation ; straightway scrutinizing said servant's spiritual status, she skillfully subverted sordid symptoms, studiously spiritualized Susanna's susceptible soul. SAM superintends Shadrach's splendid stables ; " saddles sleek, spirited steeds. Sunrise sees Shadrach speeding sea-ward, snuffing strengthening sea-air. Selina shares such sport ; she scorns slum- bering sluggards. Selina's small slippered, spur-clad, silver -spangled, soft-seated, strongly-strapped saddle seldom slips ; she sits side- ways. Sam sees saddles secure ; steeds soundly shod ; Silas' small Shet- land safely stalled; stables suitably swept. Selina's sorrel steed sometimes shies ; starts suddenly ; stops stock-still ! Selina's small shillaly shortly subdues such spirits. Sedate sister Sarah serenely shares Shadrach's sumptuous sur- roundings. She, self-sacraficing soul, shows sublime sympathy ; steadily superintends sewing societies, sabbath-schools ; sedulously soothes sick sufferers ; sweetly solaces sad self-dependent spinster sisters. (17) SPECULATIVE success seldom satisfies soaring spirits : sapient Shad- rach, seeing senatorial success so seemingly sure, self-confidently sought Sacramento, suaviloquently saluting sage statesmen, smilingly spending specie, solicitously seeking senatorial station. Staunch senators, scholarly savants, shrewd stump speakers, strongly sustained, sincerely sanctioned, Shadrach's succession. Shadrach's sound sentiments, sensible suggestions, solid, self-devised, statesmanlike speeches, showing such searching statistical study, sur- prised senior statesmen. Systematically serving State solicitations, shrewdly solving serious statements, sedulously seeking society's sanctioning support, straight- forward, self-made, speculative Shadrach S. Stevens successfully stands STATE SENATOR. H. S. CROCKER & Co., PRINTERS, SAN FRANCISCO. 'I v^s^SEs^^ir?^^^