Cambridge 
 
 Dialogue between a member of parliam.ent and 
 
 his servant
 
 DIALOGUE 
 
 BETWEEN A 
 
 Member of Parliament, 
 
 AND 
 
 His SERVANT. 
 
 ( Price One Shilling )
 
 DIALOGUE 
 
 BETWEEN A 
 
 Member of Parliament 
 
 AND 
 
 His SERVANT. 
 
 In Imitation q£ the 
 
 Seventh Satire of the Second Book o^ HORACE. 
 
 ^uid Leges Jim Moribus 
 
 Vanae projiciunt f H o r. 
 
 By RICHARD OWEN CAMBRIDGE, Efq\ 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Piinted for R. Dodsley, at 7/<i//y's-Head in Pall-ftiall-^ and 
 ibid by M.Cooper, in Pater-nofter }'ow. 1752.
 
 [ 2 ] 
 
 n R A T I I. 
 
 Lib. II. Satira VII. 
 
 Davus. 
 
 "WAmdudum aufculto^ &' cupiens tibi dicere fervus 
 ^ Paucay refonnido. 
 
 Hor. Davufne f
 
 [ 3 ] 
 
 S3Sf 
 
 DIALOGUE 
 
 BETWEEN A 
 
 Member of Parliament, and his Servant. 
 
 Servant, 
 
 LONG have I heard your fav'rite theme 
 A gen'ral Reformation-fcheme, 
 To keep the Poor from ev'ry fin, 
 From Gaming, Murther, and from Gin. 
 And now have I no lefs an itch r 
 
 To venture to Reform the Rich. 
 
 A 2 M, What, 
 
 86537S
 
 [ 4 ] 
 
 " Hor. Davuf?te f D. Ita^ Davus^ a mi cum 
 
 Mancipium domino^ &' frugi^ quod fit fails ; hoc eji^ 
 
 Ut vitah putes. H. y4ge^ liber t ate Decejnbri 
 
 (ihiando ita majores voluerunt) iitere : Jiarra. 5 
 
 D. Pars hominum vitiis gaudet conjlanter^ &' urget 
 
 Fropofitum : pars multa natat ; modo reSia capejfefis^ 
 
 Interdum pravis obnoxia. Scepe notatus 
 
 Cum tribiis annellis^ 7?iodo leva Prifcus ina7ii. 
 
 Vixit inequaliSi clavum ut mutaret in hor as : 10 
 
 ^dibits ex magnis fubito Je conderet^ unde 
 
 Mundior exiret vix libertinus honejl^ : 
 
 Jam
 
 [ 5 ] 
 
 AI. What, yo/jn ! are you too turn'd projcd:or ? 
 
 Come then, for once I'll hear your leclurc. 
 
 For iince a Member, as 'tis faid, 
 
 His projects to his fervants read, lo 
 
 And of a fav'rite fpeech a book made, 
 
 With which he tir'd each night a Cook- maid, 
 
 And fo it hapt that cv'ry morning 
 
 The taflelefs creatures gave him warning. 
 
 Since thus we ufe 'em, tis but reafon 1 5 
 
 We hear our fervants in their feafon. 
 
 Begin. S. Like gamblers, half mankind 
 Perfift in conftant vice combin'd. 
 In races, routs, the ftews, and White's, 
 Pafs all their days and all their nights. 20 
 
 Others again, like Lady Prue, 
 Who gives the morning church its due, 
 At noon is painted, dreft and curl'd, 
 And one amongft the wicked world : 
 Keeps her account exactly even, 2 5 
 
 As thus : Prue Creditor to Heaven : 
 
 To
 
 [ 6 ] 
 
 Jam mcechus Romce, jam mallet doSlm Athenis 
 Fivere ; Vertumnis^ quotqtiot fimt, natus ifiiquis. 
 Scurra Folanerius, pojlquajn illi jufia chiragra 15 
 
 Co7iHidit artkuks^ qui pro fe tolkret^ atque 
 Mitteret in phimu?n talos^ mercede diur?ia 
 Co77duSlum pavit : quaiito conjiantior idem 
 In vitiisj tanto leviiis mifer ac prior illoy 
 ^lui jam co7ite7ito^ jam laxo fu?ie lahorat. 20 
 
 H. Non
 
 [7 ] 
 To Sermons heard on Extra-days. 
 
 Debtor : To mafquerades and plays. 
 
 Item : To Whitfield, half an hour : 
 
 Per Contra : To the Colonel, Four. ;^o 
 
 Others, I fay, pafs half their time 
 In Folly, Idlenefs or Crime ; 
 Then all at once their zeal grows warm, 
 And ev'ry throat refounds Reform. 
 
 A Lord his youth in ev'ry vice 35 
 
 Indulg'd, but chief in Drabs and Dice. 
 Till worn by age, difeafe, and gout : 
 Then Nature modeftly gave out. 
 
 Not fo my Lord who ftill, by proxy, 
 
 Play'd with his darling Dice and Doxy. 40 
 
 I laud this Conftant Wretch's ftate 
 And pity all who fluctuate ; 
 Prefer this flave to dear Back-gammon, 
 To thofe who ferve both God and Mammon : 
 To thofe who take fuch pains to awe 45 
 
 The Nation's vices by the Lau\ 
 Yet while they draw their bills fo ample, 
 Neglect the influence of Example.
 
 [ 8] 
 
 H. Non dices hodie^ quorfuin ha;c tarn putida te7idunt, 
 Furcifer? D.Ad te, inquam. Yi.^opaBe^peJJtmefY^.Laudas 
 Fort imam &' snores antiqua pkbh^ W idem^ 
 Si . quis ad ilia Deus fnhito te agat^ tifque recufes : 
 Aut quia non feniis^ quod clamas^ reSiius ejfe ; 2 5 
 
 Aut quia non firmus re&um defendis ; ^ hceres^ 
 Nequicquam coeno cupiens evelkre pla7itam. 
 Roma rus optas^ abfentem rujiicus urbsm 
 'Tollis ad ajlra levis : Ji 7jujquam es fo7~te vocatus 
 Ad ccena7ny laudas Jecu7'U77i olus^ at velut ufquam 30 
 Vi7iElus eaSy it a te felice7n dicis^ afnafque^ 
 ^od niifqua7n tibi fit pota7idum. Jufferit adfe ■ 
 Maecenas Jeru7n fub lumi7ta pri7na venire 
 Co7wiva77i, Nefnon oleufn feret ocyus f ecquis 
 Audit f cmn 7nagno blateras ckwiore^ furifque. 35 
 
 Milvius
 
 [ 9 1 
 
 M. To whom d'ye preach this fenfelefs fermon ? 
 
 S. To you, good Sir. M. To Me, ye Vermin ? 50 
 
 aS*. To you, who ev'ry day profefs 
 
 T' admire the times of good Queen Befs, 
 
 But yet your Heart fincerer praife 
 
 Beftows on thefe or Charles's days : 
 
 You ftill approve fome abfent place, ■ ■■..'^ ^. vv.vAv.:- . . 55, 
 
 (The prefent's ever in difgrace.) ' 
 
 And, fuch your fpecial inconiiftence, -^^ •. vv,,-.;. ...: \\ 
 
 Make the chief merit in the diflance, ■•«v.v^^ <-, ^^ 
 
 SiK e'er you mifs a fupper-eard 
 
 (Tho' all the while you think it hard) 60 
 
 You're all for folitude and quiet, 
 Good hours and vegetable diet, 
 Refledion, air and elbow room : 
 No Prifon like a crouded Drum. 
 
 But fhould you meet her Grace's fummons 65 
 
 In full committee of the Commons, 
 The' well you know her crouded houfe 
 Will fcarce contain another moufe. 
 You quit the bufmefs of the nation, 
 And Brethren of the Reformation. " 7° 
 
 B Tho-
 
 [ lo ] 
 
 Milvius &' fcurr<z^ tibi fio?i referenda precati 
 
 Difcedunt. Etenim fateor me, dixerit ille, 
 
 Duci ventre levem : nafum nidore fupinor : 
 
 hnbecillus, iners, Ji quid vis, adde popino. 
 
 Tu chn fts quod ego, &> fortaffts nequior, ultro 40 
 
 InfeSiere velut tnelior, verbifque decoris 
 
 Obvolvas vitium f quid, fi 7?ie Jlultior ipfo 
 
 ^ingentis empto drachmis deprenderis f Aufer 
 
 Me vultu terrere : manum Jiomachumque tenetOy 
 
 Dum quce. Crifpini docutt me janitor, edo. 45 
 
 Tc 
 
 h ^r
 
 Xho' begs you'll ftay and vote 
 
 And zealous tears your coat. 
 
 You damn your coachman, ftorm and flare ; 
 And tear your throat to call a chair. 
 
 Nay, never frown, and good now hold 75 
 
 Your hand awhile : I've been fo bold 
 To paint your Follies ; now I'm in, 
 Let's have a Word or two on Sin. 
 
 Laft Night I heard a learned Poulterer 
 Lay down the Law againft th' Adulterer : 80 
 
 And let me tell you, Sir, that few 
 Hear better dodlrine in a pew. 
 Well ! you may laugh at Robin-Hood ; 
 I wifli your ftudies were as good. 
 From Mandeville you take your Morals : 85 
 
 Your Faith fiom Controverlial quarrels ; 
 But ever lean to thofe who fcribble 
 Their crudities againft the Bible ; 
 Yet tell me I fliall crack my brain 
 With hearing Henley or Romaine. 90 
 
 Deferves that Critick moft rebuke 
 In judging on the Pentateuch, 
 
 B 2 Who
 
 iCe conjux aliena capit^ meretrkula Davmn : 
 
 Peccat uter 7ioflru?n cruce dig?iius f ac?'is tdi me. 
 
 Natura inccndit y fub clard niida lucer?id 
 
 ^lu<ecu?iqiie excepit tiirgentis verbera caiidce^ 
 
 Di??iitiitj ne'iue f.'mofhm, neque follicitumy 7ie 51 
 
 Ditior aui formce melioris meiat eodem. 
 
 Tu cum., projeSiis injignibus, annulo equejiri^ 
 
 Romanoque habitu, prodis ex judice Dama 
 
 Turpis, odoratmn caput obf cur ante lacern^^ 5 5 
 
 Non es quod .Jimulas f metuens induceris, atqu& /-;,0: 
 
 Altercantg libidinibus tretnis ojfa pavore. 
 
 ^id
 
 [ '3 ] 
 
 Who deems it, with fome wild Fanatics, 
 
 The only School of Mathematics? 
 Or he, who making grave Profeflion, 9- 
 
 To lay afide all PrepoflefTion, 
 Calls it a Bookfeller's Edition 
 Of Maim'd Records and Vague Tradition ? 
 You covet. Sir, your neighbour's goods : 
 I take a Piece at Peter Wood's ; 100 
 
 And when I've turn'd my back upon her, 
 Unwounded in my heart or honor, 
 I feel nor infamous^ nor jealous 
 Of Richer Culls, Ci Prettier Fellows. 
 But you, the grave and fage Reformer, 105 
 
 Mufl go by Stealth to meet your charmer j 
 Muft change your Star and ev ry note 
 Of honor for a Bear-fkin coat. 
 That Legiflative head fo wife 
 
 Muft ftoop to bafe and mean difguife. no 
 
 Some Abigail muft then receive you, 
 Brib'd by the Hulband to deceive you. 
 
 She
 
 [ •+] 
 
 ^id refert icri virgis, fen'oque necari f 
 
 AuEioratus eas ; an turpi claufus in arca^ 
 
 §luo te demijit peccati cofjfcia herilisy 60 
 
 Contra8ium genibus tangas caput f 
 
 Ibis fub furcd prudens, dominoque furenti 
 
 Committes rem omnem^ ^ vitain^ ^ cum corpora famam. 
 
 Mviijii f credo metues^ doElufque cavebis. 
 
 ^uceres quando iter^hn paveaSy iterumque perire 
 
 Pojfis. toties fervus ! quce bellua ruptis jo 
 
 Citm femel effugit^ reddit fe prava catenis f 
 
 Non fum fncechusy ais : nsque ego hercule fur^ ubi vafa 
 
 Prcetereo fapiens argent ea : tolle periclum^ 
 
 yam vaga profdiet fre?tis 7jatura remotis^ 
 
 'Time mihi do m in us ^ rerum imperii s hominumque 75 
 
 Tot tantifque minor \ quem ter vindi&a quaterque 
 
 I?}ipoJita baud u?iquam mijerd formidine privet f 
 
 jlddc fupradiSiis^ quod ?ton levius valeat. Nam 
 
 Sive vicarius ejl, quife?-vo paret^ uti inos 
 
 Vejier ait.feu confervus ; tibi quid fum ego f ncmpl' 80 
 
 Tuy mihi qui imperitas^ aliis fervis mifer, at que 
 
 Duceris^ ut nervis alienis jnobile lignum.
 
 [ '5 ] 
 
 She fpies Cornuto on the flairs : 
 
 Wakes you ; then melted by your Pray'rs, 
 
 Yields, if with greater bribe you afk it, 115 
 
 To pack your Worfhip in the bafket. 
 
 Laid Neck and Heels true Falftaff-fafliion ; 
 
 There form new fchemes of Reformation. 
 
 Thus 'fcap'd the murd'ring Hufband's fury, 
 Or thumping fine of Cuckold Jury; 120 
 
 Henceforth, in mem'ry of your danger, 
 You'll live to all intrigues a ftranger. 
 No ; ere you've time for this refledlion ; 
 Some new debauch is in projedion. 
 And for the next approaching night, 125 
 
 Contrivance for another fright. 
 This makes you, tho' fo great, fo grave, 
 Nay ! wonder not, an abjedt flave. 
 As much a flave as I ; nay more ; 
 I ferve one mafter, you a fcore. i^o 
 
 And as your various paflions rule. 
 By turns arc twenty Tyrants' Fool. 
 
 M Who
 
 [ '6 ] 
 
 H.^if/iam igitur liber ? D. Sapie?ts^ fihique impertofus ;. '^^ 
 
 ^iiefn neque pauper ies^ neque morSj 77eque vincula terrent ; 
 
 Refp07ijare cupidinibus^ coritemnere honor es 8 5 
 
 Fortis ; &* in feipfo tot us teres at que rotundtiSy 
 
 Externi 7iequid valeat per Iceve tnorari, 
 
 hi quern fnafica ruit Jemper for tuna. Potefne 
 
 Ex hisy ut proprium^ quid no/cere P ^inque talenta 
 
 Pofcit te ?nulier, vexat^ foribufque repulfum 90 
 
 Perfujidit gelidd ; rurfits vocat. Eripe turpi 
 
 Colla jugo. Liber y liber /urn, die age,- Non quis ; 
 
 Urget
 
 [ 17 ] 
 
 M. Who then is free ? S. The Wife alone, 
 
 Who only bows to Reafon's throne ; 
 
 Whom neither Want, nor Death, nor Chains, 135 
 
 Nor fubtle Perfecutor's pains, 
 
 Nor Honors, Wealth, nor Luft can move 
 
 From Virtue and his Country's Love. 
 
 Self-guarded like a globe of fteel, 
 
 External infults can he feel ? 140 
 
 Or ere prefent one weaker part 
 
 To Fortune's moft inlidious dart. 
 
 Much honor'd Mafter, may you find 
 
 Thefe wholefome fymptoms in your mind. 
 
 Can you be free while paflions rule you ? 145 
 
 While women ev'ry moment fool you ? 
 
 While forty mad capricious whores 
 
 Invite, then turn you out of doors ; 
 
 Of ev'ry doit contrive to trick you, 
 
 Then bid their happier footman kick you ? 150 
 
 Convinc'd by ev'ry new difaftcr. 
 You ferve a more defpotic mafter. 
 
 C Say
 
 [ i8 ] 
 
 Urget enim dominiis 7)ientem non lenis, &' acres 
 
 SubjeBat lajfo Jiimulos, verfatque negantem. •• 
 
 Vel Cum Paufiaca torpes^ infane^ tabelld, 95 
 
 ^tii peccas minus atque egOy cujn Fulvi, Rutubceque^ 
 
 y'lut Placideiani contento poplite miror 
 
 Prcelia^ riibrka piSia aut car bone ; veku Ji 
 
 Re vera pugnent^ feriant, vitentque j7ioventes 
 
 Ar7na viri f Nequam ^ ceffator Davus : at ipfe lOO 
 
 Subtilis veterum judex ^ callidus atidis. 
 
 Nil egOy fic ducor libo fuma7ite : tibi ingens 
 
 Virtus atque animus ceenis refponfat opimis. 
 
 Obfequium ventris mihi perniciojtus ejl cur f 
 
 7e?go pleBor enitn : qu^ tu impunitior, ilia, 105
 
 [ -9 ] 
 
 Say can your pride or folly fee 
 
 Such diff 'fence 'tvvixt yourfelf and me ? --> 
 
 Shall you be ftruck with Titian's tints, 155 
 
 And mayn't I flop to ftare at prints ? •• 
 
 Difpos'd along th' extenfiv^e glafs 
 
 They catch and hold me ere I pafs. 
 
 Where Slack is made to box with Broughton, 
 
 I fee the very ftage they fought on : 160 
 
 The Bruifers live, and move, and bleed, 
 
 As if they fought in very deed. 
 
 Yet I'm a loit'rer, to be fure, 
 
 You a great Judge and Conoiffeur. 
 
 Shall you prolong the midnight ball ^ ^5 
 
 With coftly banquet at Vaux-hall, 
 
 And yet prohibit earlier fuppers 
 
 At Kilbourn, Sadlers-wells, or Cuper's ? 
 
 Are thefe lefs innocent in fa6l. 
 
 Or only made fo by the AS: ? 170 
 
 C 2 Thofe
 
 [ 20 ] 
 
 :^ce parvo fumi nequeunt, cum obfonio captas ^ 
 
 Nefnpc inamarefcunt epulte Jine fine petit ce^ 
 
 lllujique pedes vitiofum ferre reciifant 
 
 Corpus. An hie peccat, fub noEietn qui puer uvd 
 
 Furtivam mutat Jirigiliem f ^i pradia vendit, no 
 
 Nil fervile gulce parens habet f Adde quod ide?n 
 
 Non
 
 [ ^' J 
 
 Thofe who f contribute to the tax 
 On tea and chocolate and wax, 
 With high ragouts their blood inflame. 
 And naufeate what they eat for fame, 
 Of thefe the Houfes take no knowledge i 75 
 
 But leave them fairly to the College. 
 Oh ! ever profper their endeavours 
 To aid your Dropfles, Gouts and Fevers. 
 
 Can it deem'd a Ihame or fin 
 To pawn my livery for gin, 180 
 
 While Bonds and Mortgages at White's 
 Shall raife your fame with Arthur's Knights ? 
 Thofe worthies feem to fee no fhame in. 
 Nor ftrive to pafs a flur on Gaming •; 
 But rather to devife each Seflion 185 
 
 Some 4aw in honor o' th' profcilion. 
 
 Left 
 
 -f- "'t was urged in the Petitions of fome of th? HoufeS of Publick 
 Entertainment, that the Supprcffion of them might greatly diminilh the 
 Duties on Tea, Chocolate, and Wax-Lights.
 
 [ " ] 
 
 No7t horam tecum ejfe potes^ non otia reSti 
 Ponere ; teque ipfum vitas fugitivus ^ erro ; 
 Jam vino quccrenSj ja?fi fomno fallere curam^ 
 Frtiftra : nam comisatrapremit^fequiturquefugacem, 115 
 
 H.
 
 C 23 J 
 
 Left fordid hands or vulgar place 
 The noble myft'ry fhould debafe ; 
 Left ragged fcoundrels in an alehoufe. 
 Should chalk their cheatings on the bellows ; 1 90 
 
 Or boys the facred rites profane 
 With orange barrows in a lane. 
 Where Hes the merit of your labors 
 To curb the follies of your neighbours ; 
 Deter the Gambler, and prevent his 195 
 
 Confed'rate arts to gull the prentice j 
 Unlefs you could yourfelf defift 
 From Hazard, Faro, Brag, and Whift? 
 Unlefs your Philofophic Mind 
 
 Can from wirhin amufement find, 200 
 
 And give at once to ufe and pleafure 
 That truly precious time, your leifure. 
 In vain your bufy Thoughts prepare 
 Deceitful Sepulchres of care : 
 
 The downy couch, the fparkling bowl, 205 
 
 And all that lulls or fooths the foul —
 
 [ n ] 
 
 U.Ujide mihi lapidemfT) .^orsum ejl opiisf H.Undefagittas? 
 D. Aut mfanit homo^ aut verfus facit. H. Ocy'ui him te 
 Ni rapis, accedes opera agro nona Sabino» 
 
 FINIS.
 
 ( 25 ) 
 M. Where is my cane, my whip, my hanger ? 
 
 I'll teach you to provoke my anger. 
 
 S. Heyday ! my mafter's brain is crackt ! 
 
 Or elfe he's making fome new Adt. 
 
 ikf. To fet fuch Rogues as you to Work, 
 
 Perhaps, * or fend you to the Turk. 
 
 210 
 
 * Among the many projefts for the punifliment of Rogues, it has been fre- 
 quently propos'd to fend them in exchange for Englifh Slaves in Algiers. 
 
 FINIS.
 
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