FRUITS OF CULT Cozir^h Leo Tolstoi LlBRAKt ONJVEF CAUI SAM J The Fruits of Culture A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS BY COUNT LEO TOLSTOI TRANSLATED BY GEORGE SCHUMM BOSTON, MASS. BENJ. R. TUCKER, PUBLISHER, 1891 COPYRIGHT, BY BENJ. R. TUCKER, 1890. THE FRUITS OF CULTURE. THE CAST. LEONID FEDOROVITCH SVESDINZEFF, a lieutenant of the Cavalry Guard a. D., proprietor of 24,000 desja- tines in the various provinces. A vigorous man of about sixty, deferential, affable, gentlemanly. He is a believer in Spiritualism, and takes pleasure in start- ling people by the recital of his stories. ANNA PAVLOVNA SVESDINZEFF, his wife, a stout, bloom- ing lady, with the desire of appearing young.' She entertains a strict regard for the conventional social forms, esteems her husband lightly, and puts a blind trust in her physician. An easily excitable lady. BETSY, their daughter, a young lady of high society, about twenty years old. She is free in her manners, wears eyeglasses, flirts desperately, and laughs much. She talks very rapidly and very distinctly by moving her lips briskly like a foreigner. VASSILI LEONIDITCH, their son; twenty-five years old, Dr. juris, without a practice, member of the Bicycle Club, the Race Club, and the Society for the Breed- ing of Greyhounds. A young man of excellent health and imperturbable self-possession. He talks loud and abruptly. Now perfectly serious, almost gloomy; now excessively gay, and laughing bois- terously. 4 The Fruits of Culture ALEXEI VLADIMIROVITCH KRUGOSVETLOFF, professor. A savant, about fifty years old, with quiet, deferen- tial, and self-possessed manners in society, and a similar slow singing speech. He likes to hear him- self talk. He maintains a contemptuous reserve towards those who do not agree with him. A great smoker. A lean, restless man. THE PHYSICIAN, a healthy, corpulent man of about forty, with ruddy face. Noisy and blunt. With a self-complacent smile. MARIA KONSTANTINOVNA, a girl of about twenty, a stu- dent at the Conservatory, with bangs, excessively modern dress, and of an insinuating and timid dis- position. PETRISTCHEFF, age twenty-eight, philologist, Dr., on the look-out for a position, member of the same societies as Vassili Leoniditch, and, besides, of the Society for the Arrangement of Dances for Girls of the Com- mon People, bald-headed, vivacious in movement and speech, very courteous. THE BARONESS, a distinguished lady of about fifty ; her movements are ponderous, and she talks in a mono- tone. THE PRINCESS, a lady of the world, a guest. THE PRINCESS'S DAUGHTER, a young lady of high so- ciety, a guest ; she makes faces. THE DUCHESS, an old-fashioned lady, who is hardly able to move about, with false locks and teeth. GROSSMANN, of dark complexion and Jewish type, very lively, nervous ; he talks very loud. The Fruits of Culture 5 A Fat Lady, MARIA VASSILIEVNA TOLBUCHIN, a very distinguished, rich, and good-natured lady, ac- quainted with all the celebrities of the past and present. She is very fat, talks rapidly in order to silence the rest. She smokes. BARON KLINGEN (Koko), Doctor of the University of St. Petersburg, chamberlain, an officer of the em- bassy. Perfectly correct, therefore of a tranquil mind and serenely happy. A LADY. A PROPRIETRESS (dumb person). SACHATOFF, SERGEI IVANOVITCH, about fifty, Director of the Ministry a. D. An elegant gentleman of mag- nificent European culture. He is without employ- ment, and takes an interest in all things. His car- riage is dignified, indeed even somewhat reserved. FEDOR IVANITCH, chamberlain, nearly sixty. An edu- cated man, striving after culture. He uses his eye- glasses and his pocket-handkerchief, which he slowly unfolds too liberally. He also takes an interest in politics. A sensible and good man. GREGORI, lackey, twenty-eight years, a handsome fellow, but dissolute, envious, and insolent. JACOB, forty years, butler, a restless, good-natured man, who concerns himself only about the family affairs of the peasants. SEMION, kitchen boy. A healthy, fresh-looking peasant boy, blonde, still beardless, quiet, with a friendly smile. 6 The Fruits of Culture THE COACHMAN, thirty-five years. A fop, he lets only his moustache grow ; rude and positive. THE OLD COOK, forty-five years, with bristly hair, un- shaven, bloated yellowish face, and trembling hands, in a ragged Nanking spring overcoat, dirty panta- loons, and torn shoes; he is hoarse. He utters his words as if he had first to overcome an obstacle. THE COOK, a gossip ; she is discontented, about thirty years old. THE STEWARD, a retired soldier. TANIA, chambermaid, nineteen years old, an energetic, strong, jolly girl, with quickly changing moods. In moments of powerful joyous excitement, she squeals. FIRST PEASANT, sixty years, formerly alderman of the town; thinks he knows how to associate with gen- tlemen, and likes to hear himself talk. SECOND PEASANT, forty-five years, proprietor, rude and downright, a man of few words. Semion's father. THIRD PEASANT, seventy years, in bast shoes, nervous, restless, always in a hurry, shy; he tries to drown his shyness by words. FIRST FOOTMAN of the Duchess. An old man of the old type, with the vanity of his class. SECOND FOOTMAN, a healthy, coarse giant. A PARCEL CARRIER. In blue jacket, with clean, ruddy face. He talks with decision, impressively and dis- tinctly. The action takes place at the capital in the house of the Svesdinzeffs. ACT I. The stage represents the hall of a wealthy hottse in Moscow. Three doors : the outer door, the door of LEONID FEDOROVITCH'S study, and the door of VASSILI LKONIDITCH'S room. A stairway leads to the sitting rooms ; back of the stairs a passage to the buffet. SCENE I. GREGORI (a young, handsome lackey j views himself in the glass and makes himself fine). Gregori. Too bad about that moustache. A lackey, their highnesses say, must not have a moustache. And why ? That everybody may know you are a lackey. One might easily cut out their darling son. Hm, bah ! even without a moustache I can challenge him. ( Vieivs him- self smiling in the glass.} And how many girls run after me ! But I like none so well as this Tania. Only a chambermaid! Well yes! But still, prettier than the gracious young lady. (Smiles.} And comely she is ! (Listens.} I hear her coming! (Smiles.} And how clatters with her heels . . Ha ! The Fruits of Culture SCENE II. GREGORI tf#<^TANiA with a fur jacket and bootlets. Gregori. Your humble servant, Miss Ta- tiana! Tania. What, always before the glass ? You surely think you are very handsome ? Gregori. Am I then not good-looking ? Tania. So so, neither handsome nor ugly, something between the two. What's the mean- ing of all these furs hanging about here ? Gregori. I shall instantly remove them, Miss. (He takes down a fur, puts it on Tania, and embraces hcr.~) Tania, what I was going to say to you . . . Tania. Get you gone with your saying ! Is this proper ? (She tears herself angrily away.} I say, let me alone ! Gregori (looking around}. Do give me a-kiss ! Tania. What are you thinking, anyway ? I will give you such a kiss. . . . (She lifts her arm to strike.} Vassili Leoniditch. (A bell rings behind the scene, tJien he calls} Gregori ! Tania. You see ! Go in there, your master calls ! The Fruits of Culture 9 Grcgori. He can wait; he has but just opened his eyes. Tell me, why do you not love me ? Tania. What are you talking about loving ? I love nobody ! Gregori. Not so! You love Semka! He is of the right sort, a kitchen boy with red paws ! Tania. Be he what he may, yet you are jealous of him ! Vassili LeoniditcJi (behind tlie scene}. Greg- ori !! Gregori. You can wait! . . . It's worth while to be jealous of him ! Is it for that you've got your culture, to set your cap for him ? If you loved me, that would be something . . . Tania . . . Tania (angry and severe}. I say it is all in vain. Vassili Leoniditch (behind the scene}. Greg- ori !!! Grcgori. You are awfully severe. Vassili LeoniditcJi (behind the scene, calling persistently, monotonously, and with all his might). Gregori, Gregori, Gregori ! (TANIA and GREGORI laugh.) io The Fruits of Culture Oregon. If you knew what sort of girls have been sweet on me ! ( The bell rings.) Tania. Go to your master now, and let me alone. Gregori. I see you are stupid. Of course, I am not Semion. Tania. Semion thinks of marrying, and not of fooling. SCENE III. GREGORI, TANIA, and PARCEL CARRIER (carries a large box with a dress). Carrier. Good morning ! Gregori. Good morning ! From whom ? Carrier. From Bourde the dress, and here is a letter for the lady. Tania (takes the letter}. Sit down, I will de- liver it. (Exit.} SCENE IV. GREGORI, CARRIER, and VASSILI LEONIDITCH (appears in shirt-sleeves and slippers at the door). Vassili Leoniditch. Gregori ! Gregori. Command me, Sir ! Vassili Leoniditcli. Gregori, are you deaf ? Tlic Fruits of Culture 1 1 Gregori. I have just come. Vassili Lconiditcli. Warm water and tea ! Gregori, Semion will bring it immediately. Vassili Leoniditch. And what's that ? From Bourdiet ? (Exeunt VASSILI LEONIDITCH and GREGORI. The bell rings.} Carrier. Your servant, Sir ! SCENE V. CARRIER and TANIA (enters and opens the door). Tania (to the Carrier ). Wait ! Carrier. I am waiting. SCENE VI. CARRIER, TANIA, and SACHATOFF (enters]. Tania. Pardon me, Sir, the lackey went away this moment. But please to come nearer. Permit me. (Takes off his fur.} Sachatoff (arranging his dress). Is Leonid Feclorovitch at home ? Already up ? (The bell rings.}. Tania. Certainly. Long ago ! 12 The Fruits of Culture SCENE VII. The Same. The PHYSICIAN (enters}. Physician (looking around for the lackey. He cbservcs Sackatoff, deferential!}'}. Ah, I have the honor? Sachatoff (looking sharply}. The doctor, if I mistake not ? Physician. And I had thought you were abroad. Did you come to see Leonid Fed'oro- vitch ? SacJiatoff. Yes. And you ? Is somebody ill perhaps ? Physician (smiling). Well, not exactly ill, but you know what trouble we have with the ladies ! Till three o'clock each day she sits at the card table, and off and on indulges in a class, too. And withal she is fat and stout, O ' and carries a few years on her back moreover. Sachatoff. Do you give Anna Pavlovna also your diagnosis so plainly ? I imagine that would hardly please her. Physician (laugJiing}. What, am I not right ? They indulge themselves in all sorts of ways, impaired digestion follows, pressure on the liver, nervous troubles, the whole train of TJte Fruits of Culture 13 ills ; then we are to mend the mischief. They give us no end of trouble ! (He smiles?) And you, are you not also a Spiritualist ? Sacliatoff. I ? No, I am not also a Spiritual- ist. . . . Well, good bye ! (He wants to go ; the physician holds him back.} Physician. No, no, I don't entirely deny Spiritualism either; if a man like Krugosvetloff espouses the cause. How were it possible, too? A professor, of European fame. Surely there must be something in it. I should like to attend one of their stances. But I cannot well afford the time, one is so busy. SacJiatoff. Yes, I readily believe you. Good bye ! (Exit with a slight salute.} Physician (to Tania). Up already ? Tania. They are in the bedroom. Please, just enter. (SACHATOFF and the PHYSICIAN leave by different doors :) SCENE VIII. CARRIER, TANIA, and FEDOR IVANITCH (enters holding a newspaper). Fedor Ivanitch (to the Carrier}. What do you want ? 14 The Fruits of Culture Carrier. The dress from Bourde and a letter. I was told to wait. Fedor Ivanitch. Ah, from Bourdiet ! (To Tania.} Who has just been here ? Tania. Sachatoff and the doctor. They stood here a little while and talked, only about Spirituism. Fedor Ivanitch (correcting}. About Spiritual- ism. Tania. I said so, about Spirituism. Have you already heard, Fedor Ivanitch, how well everything went off last time? (She 1 laughs.} There were rappings, and things flew through the air. Fedor Ivanitch. How do you know that ? Tania. The young lady said so. SCENE IX. TANIA, FEDOR IVANITCH, CARRIER, and JACOB, the butler (rushing in with a glass of tea). Jacob (to the Carrier). How do you do ? Carrier (gloomy}. How do you do ? (JACOB knocks at VASSILI LEONIDITCH'S door} The Fruits of Culture 15 SCENE X. The Same and GREGORI. Gregori. Let me have it. Jacob. The glasses of yesterday have not yet been returned, nor the tray from Vassili Leoni- ditch's. But I am held responsible. Gregori. The tray is in his room, full of cigarettes. Jacob. Then put them somewhere else. For I am asked for it. Gregori. I'll fetch it, I'll fetch it ! Jacob. I'll fetch it, yes, where is it ? Just when one needs it most it is not here. Gregori. But, I tell you, I'll fetch it. Don't make such a fuss ! Jacob. It's easy for you to talk, but I for the third time I am ordered to serve tea, pre- pare breakfast. Forever up and down, that's the way it goes from day to day. Who works harder than I in this house ? And always there is fault to be found. Gregori. Where is there a more efficient person? Indeed, very efficient. Tania. In your eyes there is but one who is efficient, you . . . 1 6 The Fruits of Culture Grcgori (to Tanid). You have not been asked ! (Exit.) SCENE XL TANIA, JACOB, FEDOR IVANITCH, and the CARRIER. Jacob. Well, it's all right, I don't feel hurt. Miss Tatiana, didn't her ladyship have any- thing at all to say about yesterday ? Tania. About the lamp ? Jacob. How was it possible that it could fall out of my hand ! God knows. I was just going to wipe it, barely touched it bang, there it lay. All in small pieces. I am always unlucky ! It's easy for Gregori Michailitch to talk, he is single, but when one has a family one must keep his senses together, if he wants to be fed. I am not afraid of work. So she hasn't said a word ? Thank God ! How many tea-spoons have you, Fedor Ivanitch, one or two ? Fedor Ivanitch. One, one. (Reading the newspaper.} (Exit JACOB.) The Fruits of Culture 17 SCENE XII. TANIA, FEDOR IVANITCH, and the CARRIER. A bell rings. GREGORI, with a tray, and the STEWARD enter. Steward (to Gregori). Tell his lordship, peas- ants from the village are here. Gregori (pointing to Fedor Ivanitch). Tell the chamberlain, I have no time. (Exit.} SCENE XIII. TANIA, FEDOR IVANITCH, STEWARD, and the CARRIER. Tania. Where do the peasants come from ? Steward. From the neighborhood of Kursk, I think. Tania (squeals). It's they . . . That is Sem- ion's father, on account of the land. I shall go meet them. (Runs away.} SCENE XIV. FEDOR IVANITCH, the STEWARD, and the CARRIER. Steivard. What's to be done ? Shall I ad- mit them, or what ? They say on account of the land, his lordship knows. 1 8 The Fruits of Culture Fcdor Ivanitch. Yes, on account of the pur- chase of the land. That is so. There is a vis- itor with him now. Go say they must wait. Steward. But where shall they wait ? Fedor Ivanitch. They are to wait in the court, I will have them called. (Exit STEWARD.) SCENE XV FEDOR IVANITCH, TANIA, three peasants following her, GREGORI, and the CARRIER. Tania. To the right. Here, here ! Fedor Ivanitch. Did I not tell you not to bring them here? Gregori. Yes, yes, she is like quicksilver. Tania. Never mind, Fedor Ivanitch,, they will stand here in the corner. Fcdor Ivanitch. They will soil everything. Tania. They have scraped their feet, and I will scrub again. (To the peasants.} Stand here. (The peasants enter, carrying bundles of wheat-bread, eggs, and towels for presents. They are looking for the crucifix in the corner. They cross themselves in the direction of the stairs, bow before FEDOR IVAN- ITCH, and stand tip stiffly against the wall.} The Fruits of Ctilturc 19 Gregori (to Fedor Ivanitch). Fedor Ivanitch! People say only Pironne can make bootlets; just look at this one's boots ! (He points to the third peasant in bast shoes.) Fedor Ivanitch. You must always poke fun at people. (Exit GREGORI.) SCENE XVI. TANIA, FEDOR IVANITCH, and the three peasants. Fedor Ivanitch (rises and approaches the peas- ants). So you are from Kursk ? You have come to see about that land purchase ? First Peasant. So it is, Sir ! That is, so to speak, we are here to complete the purchase of the land. If his lordship could be told of this ? Fedor IvanitcJi. Yes, yes, I understand, I understand. Wait here, and I will at once let him know. (Exit.) SCENE XVII. TANIA and the three peasants, VASSILI LEONIDITCH (be- hind the scene). The peasants look around; they are embarrassed, uncertain what to do with the presents. First Peasant. What do you call it ... that ... I don't know what they call it ... on which 2O The Fruits of Culture to put this, properly, so that it looks like some- thing. A plate or what ? Tania. Let me see, let me see. Just hand it over, meanwhile it may lie here. (She puts the things on the settee.} First Peasant. What position, so to speak, does the gentleman occupy who spoke to us ? Tania. He is the chamberlain. First Peasant. Simply, chamberman. That means something like always around his lord- ship. (To Tania.} And you, o to speak, are you also of the service ? Tania. I am the chambermaid. I too am from Demba. And I know you, and you, too, only this countryman I don't know. (She points to the third peasant.} Third Peasant. These you have recognized, and me you do not recognize ? Tania. Are you Jefim Antonitch ? First Peasant. Real-ly ! Tania. And you are Sem ion's father, Sachar Trifonitch ? Second Peasant. Correct ! Third Peasant. And I, say I, Mitri Tchili- kin. Do you know me now ? Tania. Now I know you also. Second Peasant. And to whom do you be- long ? TJie Fruits of Culture 21 Tania. I am the daughter of Aksinia, the soldier's wife, an orphan. First and Third Peasants, 'm, 'm ? ! Second Peasant. It's not without reason they say : Go buy thee some swine, then dress them up fine, in silk how they'll shine. First Peasant. Real-ly. Just so, precisely like a young lady. TJiird Peasant. How that comes. Great God! Vassili Leoniditch (behind the scene. He rings the bell, then calls). Gregori ! Gregori ! First Peasant. Who is getting so excited there, so to speak ? Tania. That's the young gentleman. Third Peasant. Gracious God ! I said at first, better wait outdoors until our turn comes. (Pause!) Second Peasant. So it is you Semion wants to take for wife ? Tania. Did he write ? (Hides behind her apron.) Second Peasant. Of course he wrote ! He is not in his senses ! The boy, I see, has be- come a fine gentleman. Tania (lively}. He has not become a fine gentleman at all. Shall I send him here ? 22 The Fruits of Culture Second Peasant. Why send him here ? There's no hurry. We shall see each other yet! (VASSILI LEONIDITCH is heard calling in despair : " Gregori ! The dei'il take you!' 1 ''} SCENE XVIII. The Same. (VASSILI LEONIDITCH 'comes through the door in his shirt-sleeves. He adjusts his eyeglasses.} Vassili Leoniditch. Is the house deserted ? Tania. He is not here, Vassili Leoniditch. I'll have him called at once. (Goes towards the' door.} Vassili Leoniditch. I hear talking. What sort of scarecrows are these ? What ? Eh ? Tania. These are peasant people from a village in Kursk, Vassili Leoniditch. Vassili LeoniditcJi (pointing to the Carrier]. And that one? Ah, yes, from Bourdiet. (Tlie peasants boiv.} (VASSILI LEONIDITCH pays no attention to them. GRE- GORI comes towards TANIA at the door. TANIA re- mains.} SCENE XIX. The Same and GREGORI. Vassili Leoniditch. Did I not tell you the other shoes ? I cannot wear these ! The Fruits of Culture 23 Gregori. The others are there also. Vassili Leoniditch. Where is there ? Gregori. Well, also there. Vassili Leoniditch. You lie ! Gregori. You will see. (Exeunt VASSILI LEONIDITCH and GREGORI.) SCENE XX. TANIA, the three peasants, and the CARRIER. Third Peasant. And .maybe, I say, this is not the right time, then we can go to our lodg- ings and wait there. Tania. No, just wait. I will get you some plates for your presents. (Exit.} SCENE XXI. The Same. SACHATOFF, LEOXID FEDOROVITCH, fol- lowed by FEDOR IVANITCH. ( The peasants take up their presents and get into posi- tion?) Leonid FedorovitcJi (to the peasants). In a minute, in a minute, just wait (Pointing to the Carrier.} Who is that ? Carrier. From Bourde. Leonid Fedorovitch. Ah, from Bourdiet ! 24 The Fruits of Culture Sachatoff (smiling). I don't exactly deny it ; but you will admit that those of us who have not witnessed all this you are telling about, and uninitiated as we are, can hardly believe it. Leonid Fcdorovitch. You say : I cannot be- lieve it. But neither do we demand faith. We demand examination. Is it possible that I should not believe in this ring? And I got this ring from there. Sachatoff. Where is from there ? Where, where ? Leonid Fedorovitch. From the beyond. Yes. Sachatoff (smiling). Exceedingly interesting, exceedingly interesting ! Leonid Fedorovitch. Well, then, you think I am too enthusiastic, that I see by imagination what is not ; but Alexei Vladimirovitch Kru- gosvetloff ! He surely is no second-rate man, he is a professor and he also admits it. And he does not stand alone either. Crookes and Wallace ? SacJiatoff. Indeed, I do not deny. I only say it is exceedingly interesting. I should like to know, too, how Krugosvetloff explains it. Leonid Fedorovitch. He has his own theory! But do come and see us this evening ; he will The Fruits of Culture 25 surely be here. First Grossmann . . . You know, the celebrated mind-reader. Sachatoff. Yes, I have heard of him ; but I have never seen him. Leonid Fedorovitch. Come then. First Grossmann, then Kaptchitch, and our medium- istic stance. ... (To Fedor Ivanitch.} Has the messenger not yet returned from Kaptchitch ? Fedor Ivanitch. He is not yet back. Sachatoff. How am I to know then-? Leonid Fedorovitch. .Just come, in any case come. Even if Kaptchitch should not be pres- ent, we will get our medium. Maria Ignatievna is a medium ; to be sure, not such a good one as Kaptchitch, but nevertheless . . . SCENE XXII. The Same and TANIA. (She goes to the presents with the plates and listens to the conversation?) Sachatoff (smiling). Yes, yes. But tell me one thing: how is it that the mediums invari- ably belong to the so-called cultured sphere? Kaptchitch, Maria Ignatievna. If this is a special force, we ought to meet it also among the common people, among the peasants. Leonid Fedorovitch. Such is the case, too. 26 The Fruits of Culture It is very often the case. We have one peasant in the house, and he is a medium. We called him recently during the stance. The sofa was to be moved, and we had no thou'ght of him. And he probably must have fallen asleep. Now imagine. Our stance was already approaching its end ; Kaptchitch awoke. Suddenly we ob- serve in the other corner of the room, where the peasant is sitting, mediumistic phenomena : the table moves from the spot and begins to walk. Tania (aside). That was when I crept from under the table. Leonid FcdorovitcJi. Plainly he is also a medium. The more so as he very much re- sembles Home. Do you remember Home ? the blonde man with the innocent face ? Sachaioff (shrugging Ids sJioulders}. Indeed, that is very interesting. Of course you must make your experiments with him. Leonid FedorovitcJi. We are going to do that, too. And he is -not the only one. There are mediums without number. Only we don't know them. It is but a few days since an in- valid old lady moved a wall from the spot. Sathatoff. Moved a wall from the spot ? Leonid Fedorovitch. Yes, yes. She was The Fruits of Cult urn 27 lying in bed, and had no idea that she was a medium. She propped herself with her hand against the wall, and the wall moved from the spot. Sacliatoff. And did not cave in ? Leonid Fedorovitch. And did not cave in. Sachatoff. Strange ! Very well, I will come in the evening ! Leonid Fedorovitch. Just come, just come, the stance will take place in any case. (SACHATOFF gets ready, LEONID FEDOROVITCH accom- panies him to the door.) SCENE XXIII. The Same except SACHATOFF. Carrier (to Tania). Will you not announce me to her ladyship ? I surely can't stay here over night ! Tania. Wait. Her ladyship and the young lady intend taking a drive ; they must pass this way. (Exit^) SCENE XXIV. The Same except TANIA. Leonid Fedorovitch. (approaches tJie peasants ; they bow before him and offer their presents], That is not necessary ! 28 The Fruits of Culture First Peasant (smiling}. It is our first duty. Besides, the commune told us to. Second Peasant. It is customary so. Third Peasant. It's ..not worth while to waste many words . . . We are very contented . . . As our fathers, I say, served your fathers, I say, so also we wish from the bottom of our heart, not that we would . . . (He bows.} . Leonid Fedorovitcli. What now ? What do you want ? First Peasant. We want to see your lord- ship. SCENE XXV. The Same and PETRISTCHEFF (enters quickly, in a gray cloak). Petristcheff. Is Vassili Leoniditch up yet ? (He sees Leonid Fedorovitch, and salutes him with a nod of the head.) Leonid Fedorovitch. You wish to speak with my son ? PetristcJieff. I ? Yes, I wished to see Wowo a minute ! Leonid Fedorovitch. Please to pass along. i (PETRISTCHEFF takes off Ms cloak, and walks quickly away.) The Fruits of Culture 29 SCENE XXVI. The Same except PETRISTCHEFF. Leonid Fedorovitch (to tJie peasants). Well, now. What do you want ? Second Peasant. Please accept our presents. First Peasant (smiling). That is, the gifts from the village. Third Peasant. And without wasting words it's not worth while. We wish you every- thing that is good, as to a father. And without wasting words ! Leonid Fedorovitch. Very well. . . . Fedor, take them ! Fedor Ivanitch. All right, let me have them (takes the presents). Leonid' Fedorovitch. What business brings you here ? First Peasant. We come to your lordship. Leonid Fedorovitch. I see that you come to me ; but what do you want ? First Peasant. To complete the purchase. The question is ... Leonid Fedorovitch. How, do you want to purchase the land, or what ? First Peasant. Real-ly, so it is. The ques- 30 The Fruits of Culture tion is ... that is, to acquire the land as our property. And the commune has empowered us, so to speak, to go to the imperial bank, as is customary, and get a stamp at the prescribed price. Leonid Fedorovitch. That is, you want to buy the land through the mediation of the bank, is that not so, or how ? First Peasant. So it is, as you proposed to us in the summer. The whole sum that must be got together, if the land is to become our property, amounts to 32,864 roubles. Leonid Fedorovitcli. Very well, but how about the payment ? First Peasant. And the payment, as was agreed in the summer, the commune proposes to divide into installments and cash down, as is written in the law, 4000 roubles on a table. Second Peasant. That is, the 4000 roubles cash now, and the rest later. Third Peasant (producing tJic money mean- while}. You can believe we pledge ourselves personally, and it will surely not be that . . . and, I say, so or so, or this, I say ... all that is right. Leonid Fedorovitch. But I wrote you that I would agree only on condition that you get the whole sum together. The Fniits of Culture 31 First Peasant. Yes, real-ly, that would surely be better ; but, that is, it is impossible. Leonid Fedorovitch. What's to be done, then ? First Peasant. The commune had hoped, so to speak, as you proposed in the summer, to pay by installments . . . Leonid Fedorovitch. That was last year; then I agreed to it, but now I cannot . . . Second Peasant. But that won't do. You gave us hope, we prepared the document, and got the money together. Third Peasant. Have mercy, Sir ! Our land is small, hardly a hen not to say any- thing of cattle hardly a hen, I say, has room. (He bows.} Do not transgress, Sir. (Bows.} Leonid FedorovitcJi. It is true I agreed to payment by installments last year, but circum- stances ... so that I cannot well do it now. Second Peasant. We need the land to sup- port life. First Peasant. Real-ly, without the land our life is forfeited and doomed. Third Peasant (bows). Sir ! The land is small, hardly a hen not to say anything of cattle hardly a hen, I say, has room ! Sir, have mercy ! Take the money, Sir ! 32 The Fruits of Culture Leonid FedorovitcJi (Jms looked at the paper meanwhile). I understand you, I should my- self gladly help you. Wait here. I will give you an answer in half an hour. Fedor, see that no one is admitted. Fedor Ivanitch. Very well, your lordship. (Exit LEONID FEDOROVITCH.) SCENE XXVII. The Same except LEONID FEDOROVITCH. ( The peasants are depressed.} Second Peasant. A fine affair ! To give the whole, he says. Yes, where get it ? First Peasant. If he had not given us hope in the summer. So we believed, real-ly, it would be as we had agreed in the summer. TJiird Peasant. Gracious God ! And I have already taken out the money. (He rolls tJic money up again.} What are we to do now ? Fedor Ivanitch. What is the business that brought you here? First Peasant. Our business, dear sir, is, so to speak, somewhat like this : He proposed to us in the summer to pay by installments ; the commune agreed to this, and gave us power to act; and now he proposes, so to speak, that we The Fruits of Culture 33 pay the whole sum cash down. Well, now, that is quite impossible. Fedor Ivanitcli. How much money have you ? First Peasant. For the first payment 4000 roubles, that is, all in all. Fedor Ivanitch. Well ? Make an effort, get more together. First Peasant. We have already been from house to house. The people have no brains in their head, Sir. Second Peasant. Where there is nothing, the emperor has lost his right. Third Peasant. We should indeed like to, with our whole heart. But we have already had to get this together by force. SCENE XXVIII. The Same, VASSILI LEONIDITCH, and PETRISTCHEFF (/;/ the door, both with cigarettes}. Vassili Leoniditch. I have already said that I will try. I will try as far as lies in my power. Well? PetristcJieff. Only consider, if you do not get it, the devil knows how badly it may go with us ! 34 The Fruits of Culture Vassili Leoniditch. I have said once I will try, and then it will be done, too. Eh ? PctristcJicff. Very well. I only say you must get it at all hazards. I will wait. (Exit, closing the door behind him.} SCENE XXIX. The Same except PETRISTCHEFF. Vassili Leoniditch (with a movement of the hand}. The devil knows what that is. (The peasants bow.) Vassili Leoniditch (seeing the Carrier, to Fedor Ivanitch\ Why do you not dismiss the man from Bourdiet ? Or perhaps he has taken his lodgings with us altogether? Just see, he has fallen asleep. Eh ? Fedor IvanitcJi. The letter is already deliv- ered. He was told to wait until Anna Pavlovna comes. Vassili Leoniditch (looks over to the peasants, and views the money with covetous eyes) Ah J what's that? Money? For whom? Money for us ? ( To Fedor IvanitcJi} Who are these people ? Fedor Ivanitch. They are countrymen from the neighborhood of Kursk ; they want to buy land. 77/i? Fruits of Culture 35 Vassili Leoniditch. Well, how is it, is the sale already completed ? Fedor Ivanitch. No, there is no agreement yet. They are very miserly. Vassili Leoniditch. So? We must talk to them. (To tJtc peasants.} Well, will you pur- chase, eh ? First Peasant. Real-ly, we propose that it shall be so that we possess land as our prop- erty. Vassili Leoniditch. Then you must not be so miserly. Listen, you know how much the peasant needs land! Eh? Very much. First Peasant. Real-ly, land is the most im- portant thing to the peasant. That is true. Vassili Leoniditch. You must not be miserly then. For what does land signify? On the land you can sow wheat in beds, you see. You can get 300 poods, the pood a rouble, 300 rou- bles, eh? ... And, then, just think of mint, I tell you you can make a thousand roubles to a desjatine. First Peasant. Real-ly, quite truly, one can raise all products when one knows how. Vassili Leoniditch. Mint, then, mint. For I have studied that, that is printed in the books. I will show you. Eh ? 36 The Fruits of Culture First Peasant. Real-ly, all that is to be learned better out of books. Culture is every- thing. Vassili Leoniditch. Purchase then, don't be miserly, and give the money. (To Fedor Ivanitch}. Where is papa ? Fedor Ivanitch. In his room. He wished not to be disturbed now. Vassili Leoniditch. What, he is surely ask- ing the spirits whether he shall sell the land or not ? Eh ? Fedor Ivanitch. I cannot say. I know that he went away undecided. Vassili Leoniditch. What do you think, Fedor Ivanitch, has he money ? Eh ? Fedor Ivanitch. I do not know. Hardly. Why do you wish to know that ? Did you not get a nice check last week ? Vassili LeoniditcJi. I spent that for the dogs. And now, you know, our new club, Petristcheff is elected, and I had some money from Petristcheff, and now I must pay the initi- ation fee for him and for myself. Eh ? Fedor Ivanitch. Of which new club are you speaking? Of the Bicycle Club ? Vassili Leoniditch. No, I will tell you pres- ently : an entirely new club. A very serious The Fruits of Culture 37 club, I tell you. And do you know who the chairman is ? Eh ? Fedor Ivanitcli. But what kind of a new club ? Vassili Leoniditch. A club for the breeding of old Russian shock dogs. Eh ? And I tell you : to-night is our first meeting and banquet. And I have no money ! I want to see him ! I will try ! (Exit tJirough tlie door.} SCENE XXX. The peasants, FEDOR IVANITCH, and the CARRIER. First Peasant (to Fedor Ii'anitch}. Who is that, Sir ? Fedor Ii'anitch (smiling). The young gentle- man. Third Peasant. The son of the house, so to speak. Gracious God ! (He puts away the money.} One must put it away while it is yet time, I see. First Peasant. And we have been told that he serves in the military, in the cavalry, so to speak. Fedor Ivanitch. No, as the only son he is exempt from military service. Third Peasant. Suffered to stay home, let 38 The Fruits of Culture us say, for the support of his parents. That is right. Second Peasant (nodding ivith his head). And he will support them, there's not a word to waste over that. Third Peasant. Gracious God ! SCENE XXXI. FEDOR IVANITCH, the three peasants, VASSILI LEONI- DITCH, followed by LEONID FEDOROVITCH, who re- mains at the door. Vassili Leoniditch. It is always so. Truly remarkable. First they say, why have you no employment and then, when I have found a field of activity and am at work if a serious club is founded for a noble purpose, then 300 beggarly roubles cannot be spared ! . . . Leonid Fedorovitch. When I say I cannot, I cannot. I haven't got it. Vassili Leoniditch. But you have sold land. Leonid Fedorovitch. In the first place, I haven't sold anything, and above all, leave me in peace. You have already heard that I haven't any time. (Slams the door.) The Fruits of Culture 39 SCENE XXXII. The Same except LEONID FEDOROVITCH. Fedor Ivanitch. I told you at first this was not the right time. Vassili Leoniditch. A nice scrape to get into, eh ? I'll go to mamma ; she is my last hope. That's what I call going mad on Spirit- ualism, and forgetting all else. (He goes up- stairs^) (FEDOR IVANITCH sits down and takes up a newspaper). SCENE XXXIII. The Same, BETSY and MARIA KONSTANTINOVNA come downstairs; GREGORI follows them. Betsy. Is the carriage ready ? Gregori. It is just driving up. Betsy (to Maria Konstantinovna}. Let us go, let us go. I saw it was he. Maria Konstantinovna. Which he ? Betsy. You know very well Petristcheff. Maria Konstantinovna. But where is he then ? Betsy. He is with Wowo ; you will soon see. 4O The Fruits of Culture Maria Konstantinovna. And if it is not he ? (The peasants and the Carrier bow.} Betsy (to the Carrier}. Ah, you are from Bourdiet with the dress. Carrier. Yes, gracious miss. May it please you to attend to this matter. Betsy. I know nothing about it. That is mamma's affair. Carrier. I am not expected to know that. I have orders to deliver the goods and receive the money. Betsy. Wait, then. Maria Konstantinovna. Is it the costume for the charade again ? Betsy. Yes, a charming costume. And mamma will not take it and will not pay for it. Maria Konstantinovna. And why ? Betsy. You must ask mamma about that. To give Wowo 500 roubles for dogs, that is not too much ; and 100 roubles for a dress is too much. I surely can't appear as a scarecrow. (Pointing to tJie peasants?) And who are these people ? Gregori. Peasants ; land, I believe, they want to buy. Betsy. I thought hunters ; are they not hunters ? The Fruits of Culture 41 First Peasant. Surely not, lady, we have come to Leonid Fedorovitch for the purpose of completing the act of the purchase of the land. Betsy. How is it, hunters were to have come to Wowo? And are you surely not hun- ters? (The peasants are silent?) How stupid they are ! (She goes to the door.} Wowo ! (Laughs.) Maria Konstantinovna. You have just met him. Betsy. That was a clever stroke! . . . Wowo, are you in there ? SCENE XXXIV. The Same and PETRISTCHEFF. Pctristcheff. Wowo is not here ; but I am willing, in his stead, to do all that is desired. I salute you! I salute you, Maria Konstanti- novna ! (He first shakes Betsy's hand long and vigorously, then Maria Konstantinovna s?) Second Peasant. Just see, as if he were pumping water. Betsy. You cannot represent him, but at any rate it's better than nothing. (She laughs.} What's the business you have with Wowo? Petr'istcheff. Business ? Fi nancial busi- 42 The Fruits of Culture ness, that is, our business is fi ! and at the same time nancial business, and besides financial business. Betsy. What is the meaning of nancial business, anyway? Petristcheff. A fine question ! That's the joke of it, that it means nothing. Betsy. Well, that I call missing the mark, missing it awfully. (TJiey laugh.} Petristcheff. It is impossible for one always to hit the bull's eye. That is a kind of lottery. A blank, and again a blank, and for once, per- haps, the capital prize. (Exit FEDOR IVANITCH into LEONID FEDOROVITCH'S study.) SCENE XXXV. The Same except FEDOR IVANITCH. Betsy. That was missing the mark. Tell me, were you at Mergassoff's yesterday ? Petristcheff. Not at Mere Gassoff's, rather at Pere Gassoff's, and not at Pere Gassoff's, either, but at Fits Gassoff's. Betsy. Is it utterly impossible for you to suppress these jeu de mots ? That is an invet- erate vice. Were there gypsies there also ? (She laughs?) The Fruits of Culture 43 Petristcheff (sings). " Auf den Schiirzen Hdhnelein Mit den goldenen Kammelein " Betsy, Happy people ! And we were bored at Fofo's. PctristcJieff (continues singing}. " Und ver- sprach ihr susses Mundchen Mir" ... How does it go ? Maria Konstantinovna, how does it go ? Maria Konstantinovna. " Mir ein holdes SchafersUindchen "... Petristcheff. What? What? Maria Kon- stantinovna ? (He laughs.} Betsy. Ccssez, vous devenez impossible ! Petristclieff. J'aicesse',j'aibebe',faide'de'. . . Betsy. I see but one means of escaping your jests I must let you sing. Come with me to Wowo's room ; he has a guitar, too. Come, Maria Konstantinovna, come ! (BETSY, MARIA KONSTANTIXOVNA, and PETRISTCHEFF go away into VASSILI LEONIDITCH'S room.) SCENE XXXVI. GREGORI, the three peasants, and the CARRIER. First Peasant. To whom do these belong ? Gregori. The one is the young miss ; the other the music teacher; she gives music lessons. 44 The Fruits of Culture First Peasant. She occupies herself, so to speak, with study. And how accurate she is ! As if painted. Second Peasant. Why don't they marry ? She is surely of the right age. Gregori. You think, as among you, that the right age is fifteen years ? First Peasant. And the young fellow there is, so to speak, a musician ? Grcgori (mocking him}. Musician ! . . . You know simply nothing. , Pirzt Peasant. Real-ly true, that is our igno- rance, our want of culture, so to speak. Third Peasant. Gracious God ! (Gypsy songs accompanied by the guitar are heard in VASSILI LEOXIDITCH'S room.) SCENE XXXVII. GREGORI, the three peasants, the CARRIER. SEMION enters ; he is followed by TAXIA. TANIA watches the meeting of father and son. Gregori (to Scmioii). Where do you come from ? Semion. I was at Mr. Kaptchitch's. Gregori. Well, how is it ? Semion. He asked me to say it was quite impossible for him to come to-day. The Fruits of Culture 45 Gregori. Very well, I will deliver the mes- sage. (Exit.*) SCENE XXXVIII. The Same except GREGORI. Semion (to fits father}. Welcome, little father. Uncle Jefim, Uncle Mitri I salute you. Is all well at home ? Second Peasant. Welcome, Semion ! First Peasant. Welcome, fellow-brother ! Third Peasant. Welcome, boy ! How goes it? Semion (friendly}. Well, little father, shall we go and drink tea ? Second Peasant. Wait, we want to get through first. Don't you see that we are busy now ? Semion. Well, then, I will wait at the door. (He goes.} Tania (fol/oius him}. Why didn't you say a word ? Semion. How can I talk here, before all the people ? Only have patience ; once at tea, and I will talk. (Exit.) 46 The Fruits of Culture SCENE XXXIX. The Same except SEMIOX. FEDOR IVANITCH enters and sits down by the window with a newspaper. First Peasant. Well, Sir, how is it with our affair ? Fedor Ivanitch. Have patience, he will come presently, he will soon be ready. Tania (to Fedor IvanitcJi}. How do you know, Fedor Ivanitch, that he will soon be ready ? Fedor IvanitcJi. O, I know, when the ques- tions are at an end, he reads aloud to himself question and answer. Tania. Is it really true, then, that one can talk with spirits through a small plate ? Fedor Ivanitch. It must be so. Tania. How, if they tell him he ought to sign ? Will he then really sign ? Fedor IvanitcJi. And what do you mean ? Tania. They do not speak in words, do they ? Fedor IvanitcJi. In letters. The letter at which they stop, that he makes a note of. Tania. And at the stance ? . The Fruits of Culture 47 SCENE XL. The Same and LEONID FEDOROVITCH. Leonid Fedorovitch. Well, my dear friends, I cannot; I should very gladly have done it, but it is impossible. If you have the whole sum, that's another thing. First Peasant. Yes, real-ly, that would surely be better. But the people are weak, it is quite impossible. Leonid Fedorovitch. I cannot, it is impossi- ble. Here is your paper, I cannot sign it. Third Peasant. Have mercy, Sir, have mercy ! Second Peasant. How can one act so? It's an insult. Leonid Fedorovitch. It is not an insult, chil- dren. I asked you in the summer : do you want to ? Then it's a bargain. You did not want to, now I cannot. Third Peasant. Sir, have mercy ! How are we to live? Our land is small, hardly a hen not to say anything of cattle hardly a hen, I say, has room. (LEONID FEDOROVITCH goes and remains standing in . the door.) 48 The Fruits of Culture SCENE XLI. The Same. HER LADYSHIP and the PHYSICIAN come downstairs. VASSILI LEONIDITCH follows them in a cheerful mood ; he puts money in his pocket-book. Her Ladyship (tightly laced, with hat on}. To be taken internally, then ? Physician. To be taken by all means if the symptoms are repeated. But above all lead a more sensible life. How do you expect a thick syrup to pass through a capillary tube if, be- sides, you press the tube together ? That is impossible! It is the same with the alimentary canal ! That is surely simple enough. Her Ladyship. Yes, indeed, indeed ! Physician. Indeed, you say, and everything remains the same. That will not do, your ladyship, that will not- do. Good bye ! Her Ladyship. Not good bye, but au revoir ! I shall surely expect you in the evening. With- out you I cannot come to a decision. Physician. Very well, very well, if I have time, I shall come. (Exit.} The Fruits of Cttltttrc 49 SCENE XLII. The Same except the PHYSICIAN. Her Ladyship (observing the peasants). What does this mean ? What is this ? What sort of people are these ? (The peasants bow.) Fedor IvanitcJi, They are countrymen from the region of Kursk ; they have come to his lordship to buy land. Her Ladyship. I see they are countrymen, but who admitted them ? Fedor Ivanitch. Leonid Fedorovitch gave orders. He has just talked with them about the sale 'of the land. Her Ladyship. What sale ? We don't need to sell anything. And above all -haw can one admit persons from the street into' this house ! How can one admit persons from the street! One does not admit persons into the house who have passed the night God knows where. . . . (She gets more and more excited.} In their garments, I suppose, every little fold is full of microbes : scarlatina microbes, small-pox microbes, diphtheria microbes ! For are they not from Kursk, the province of Kursk, where 5O The Fruits of Culture diphtheria is epidemic ! . . . Doctor, doctor ! Call the doctor back ! (Exit LEONID FEDOROVITCH ; he locks the door behind him. GREGORI follows the PHYSICIAN.) SCENE XLIII. The Same except LEONID FEDOROVITCH and GREGORI. Vassili Leoniditch (bloivs the cigar-smoke at the peasants}. Calm yourself, mamma; if you wish, I will smoke them so that all the microbes will expire. Well ? (HER LADYSHIP is persistently silent; she awaits the return of the PHYSICIAN.) Vassili Leoniditch (to the peasants). Do you breed hogs ? That is a profitable business. First Peasant. Real-ly, sometimes we also raise hogs. Vassili Leoniditch. Such . . . i-u . . . i-u (He grunts like a sticking pig.} Her Ladyship. Wowo, Wowo ! Stop. Vassili Leoniditch. A good pig baby, eh ? First Peasant. Real-ly, a good sucking pig. Her Ladyship. Wowo, stop, I tell you ! Second Peasant. What's that for? Third Peasant. I told you in the first place that we ought meantime to go to our lodgings. The Fruits of Culture 51 SCENE XLIV. The Same, the PHYSICIAN, and GREGORI. Physician. What's up now ? What's the matter. Her Ladyship. You always say one must not get excited. Now how can one remain calm here ? For two whole months I do not visit my sister, and guard myself against every questionable visit. Suddenly I find people from Kursk, straight from Kursk where diphtheria rages, right in my own house ! Physician. Do you mean these splendid fel- lows ? Her Ladyship. Certainly, right from the diphtheria district. Physician. Yes, if they are from the diph-. theria district, it is indeed careless; but one need not get so excited over it. Her LadysJiip. But you yourself always caution us to be careful ! Physician. Yes, yes, but nevertheless one need not get so excited over it. Her Ladyship. How can you say that ? We must have everything thoroughly disinfected now. 52 The Fruits of Culture Physician. No, no, why, thoroughly, that is too expensive, that would cost 300 roubles and more. Let me fix it for you. To one large bottle of water . . . Her Ladysliip. Distilled ? Physician. Quite immaterial. Distilled is better Well, then, to each bottle of water take a tablespoonful of salicylic acid, and have everything washed with it which they in any way have touched ; and these fellows them- selves must of course leave. That will suffice. Then you need not fear anything. Of this solution you may also spray two or three glassfuls into the air with the atomizer. You shall see how well everything will be. Quite harmless. Her Ladyship. Where is Tania ? Call Tania ! SCENE XLV. The Sa>ne and TAXIA. Tania. What does her ladyship wish ? Her Ladyship. Do you know the big bottle in the wardrobe ? Tania. With which we sprinkled the wash- woman yesterday ? Her Ladyship. Yes, that, what other one ? The Fruits of Culture' 53 Take that bottle, then ; first wash the spot where they are standing with soap, then . . . Tania. Very well. I know, I know. Her Ladyship. Then take the atomizer . . . However, I will come back and do that myself. Physician. Only do that, and trouble your- self no further. An revoir, now, until evening. (Exit.) SCENE XLVI. The Same except the PHYSICIAN. Her Ladyship. And with these away, away, that not a trace of them may remain. Away, away ! Go, what are you staring at ? First Peasant. Real-ly, in our ignorance, we were told . . . Gregori (leading the peasants away). Now, go, go ! Second Peasant. Only let me take my bun- dle. Third Peasant. Gracious God ! I said at the start we ought to wait at our lodgings. (Gregori pushes him out.) 54 The Fruits of Culture SCENE XLVII. HER LADYSHIP, GREGORI, FEDOR IVANITCH, TANIA, VASSILI LEONIDITCH, and ike CARRIER. Carrier (w/to has repeatedly attempted to speak}. Am I to have an answer ? Her Ladyship. Ah, he from Bourdiet ? (Angrily?) There is no answer, there is no answer, take it back with you. I told him I did not order such a costume, and I will not allow my daughter to wear it. Carrier. I know nothing about it ; I was sent here. Her Ladyship. Just go, go, and take it with you again. I will go there myself. Vassili Leoniditch (soleinn/y}. Sir Messenger of Bourdiet, begone ! Carrier. You might have said that long ago. Was it necessary for me to wait here five hours ? ! Vassili LeoniditcJi. Messenger of Bourdiet, begone ! Her Ladyship. Hush, now, I beg you ! (Exit CARRIER.) The Fruits of Culture 55 SCENE XLVIII. The Same except the CARRIER. Her Ladyship. Betsy! Where is she? One must always wait for her. Vassili Leoniditch (screams at the top of his voice). Betsy ! Petristcheff ! Come quicker, quicker, quicker ! Eh ? i SCENE XLIX. The Same, PETRISTCHEFF, BETSY, and MARIA KON- STANTIXOVNA. Her Ladyship. One must always wait for you. Betsy. On the contrary, I am waiting for you. (PETRISTCHEFF salutes only with a nod of his head and kisses HER LADYSHIP'S hand.) Her Ladyship. How do you do ? (To Betsy.} You must always talk back ! Betsy. If you are not in good humor, mamma, I would rather not drive out with you. Her Ladyship. Are we going to take a drive or not ? 56 The Fruits of Culture Betsy. Say we drive, then ; what else ? . Pier Ladyship. Have you seen what the man from Bourdiet brought ? Betsy. I have seen it, and I was delighted with it. I ordered the costume, and will wear it when it is paid for. Her Ladyship. I will not pay for it, and I will not permit you to wear an improper cos- tume. Betsy. Since when is it improper ? Until now it was proper ; suddenly you have a fit of prudery. Her Ladysliip. No prudery whatever ; if the entire waist is fixed over, it may do. Betsy. Mamma, that is certainly impossible. Her LadysJiip. Well, get ready. (They sit down. GREGOUI puts on their overshoes.} Vassili Lconiditch. Maria Konstantinovna, do you see how empty the hall has become ? Maria Konstantinovna (laughing). What do you mean ? Vassili Leoniditch. The man from Bourdiet is gone. Eh ? Well ? (LaugJis loud.} Her Ladyship. Let us start then. (She walks towards the door and suddenly returns^} Tania ! The Fruits of Culture 57 Tania. What does your ladyship wish ? Her LadysJiip. That Fifka may not catch cold during my absence. If he should desire to go out, by all means put the yellow cloak around him. He is not quite well. Tania. Very well, your ladyship. (Exeunt HER LADYSHIP, BETSY. MARIA KONSTANTI- NOVNA, and GREGORI.) SCENE L. PETRISTCHEFF, VASSILI LEONIDITCH, TANIA, and FEDOR IVANITCH. Petristchcff. Well, how is it ? What have you accomplished ? Vassili Lconiditcli. I tell you it cost a lot of trouble. First I went to my sire he growled at me and sent me away. Then, to my mother there I got it. Here it is. (He slaps his pocket.} When I take anything into my head, I am simply irresistible. . . . Hooks of steel ! Eh ? And now my wolf-killers will of course be brought to-day. (Exeunt PETRISTCHEFF and VASSILI LEOXIDITCH, taking their overcoats. TANIA follows them} 58 The Fruits of Culture SCENE LI. FEDOR IVANITCH alone. Fedor Ivanitch. Continual discord. Why can't they live in peace ? Yes, one must admit, the young generation is after all something- different. And the rule of woman? At first Leonid Fedorovitch would gladly have favored the peasants ; then he saw her going into hys- terics and slammed the door to. A rare good man ! Yes, rarely good ! . . . What's this ? Tania brings them back ? SCENE LII. FEDOR IVANITCH, TANIA, and the three peasants. Tania. Just come, just come, little uncles, no harm. Fedor Ivanitch. Why have you brought them here again ? Tania. Pray, dear Fedor Ivanitch, we must surely do something for them. And I will scrub up everything again. Fedor Ivanitch. Nothing will come of their case ; I can see it already. The Fruits of Culture 59 First Peasant. Well, Sir, shall we settle our matter ? If your grace will take a little trouble, we will surely show ourselves richly grateful on behalf of the commune in reward for your trouble. Third Peasant. Will you not try, dear Sir ? We cannot live. Our land is small, hardly a hen not to say anything of cattle hardly a hen, I say, has room. (They bow.} Fedor Ivanitcli. I really pity you, but I can- not do anything for you, little friends. I under- stand very well, but he has said no. What's to be done, now ? Her ladyship also is against it. Hardly ! But let me have the document ; I will go to him ; I will try ; I will implore him ! (Exit.} SCENE LIII. TANIA antf the three peasants (they sigh). Tania. Now tell me, little uncles, how is it with your affair ? First Peasant. Only his signature. Tania. His lordship is to sign the docu- ment ? First Peasant. Only to sign it with his own 60 The Fruits of Culture hand, and to take his money, and the matter is finished. Third Peasant. If he only would write ! I want, he says, as the peasants want, he says. That's the whole matter. He takes and signs. Tania. Only to sign ? His lordship is only to place his name on the document ? (S/ie meditates.} First Peasant. Real-ly, the business depends only on, that. That is, when he has signed, there is nothing more to do. Tania. Just wait, let's sec what Fedor Ivanitch brings. If he cannot persuade his lordship, I will try a ruse. Second Peasant. You will get him to come round ? Tania. I will try. Third Peasant. Hey, girl, you intend to do something for us ? Only carry out the thing, and we will bind ourselves, I say, to support you for life at the expense of the commune. That's a thing! First Peasant. If you will do us such a turn, we can really set you in gold. Second Peasant. No doubt about it ! Tania. I will not positively promise it. As they say : one can try . . . TJic Fruits of Culture 6 1 First Peasant. and a question costs nothing. Real-ly true ! SCENE LIV. The Same and FEDOR IVAXITCH. Fedor Ivanitch. No, good friends, your busi- ness is all up ; he said, no and sticks to it. Take your document. Go, go ! First Peasant (takes, tJie document. To Tanid}, So we must after all, so to speak, rely on you. Tania. Presently, presently. You will now go and wait outdoors ; I shall immediately come to you and tell you what's to be done. (Exeunt peasants.) SCENE LV. FEDOR IVANITCH and TANIA. Tania. Fedor Ivanitch, my dear, request his lordship to please come out to me. I have to speak a word to him. Fedor Ivanitch. What sort of news may that be ? Tania. It must be, Fedor Ivanitch. Just announce it, please ; it is nothing bad, God knows. 62 The Fruits of Culture F^edor Ivanitch. What can it be ? Tania. A little secret. I will betray it later. Only announce it. Fedor Ivanitcli (smiling). I cannot under- stand what you are driving at ! But very well, I will say it, I will say it. (Exit.} SCENE LVI. TANIA (alone). Tania. I declare, it must succeed. Didn't he say himself that Semion had the force, and don't I know how everything is to be managed ? Then nobody suspected anything. Now I am going to bring Semion up to it. And if it does not succeed, there is no harm done. Is that a sin ? / SCENE LVII. TANIA, LEONID FEDOROVITCH, later FEDOR IVANITCH. Leonid Fedorovitch (smiling). A strange petitioner ! What is it about ? Tania. A little secret, Leonid Fedorovitch. Permit me to tell you under four eyes. Leonid Fedorovitch. What .can that be ? Fedor, leave us a moment. Tlie Fruits of Culture 63 SCENE LVIII. LEONID FEDOROVITCH and TANIA. Tania. Leonid Fedorovitch, I have been brought up in your house from a child ; I am grateful to you for everything, and I want to speak openly to you as to my own father. Semion, who is in your house, wants to marry me. Leonid Fedorovitch. Was that it ? Tania. I speak as openly to you as to God. I have nobody with whom I could consult ; for I am an orphan. Leonid Fedorovitch. Well, why not ? He is really a good boy. Tania. Certainly, he would be real nice ; only one thing seems doubtful to me. And I wanted to ask you, there is something in him, I do not quite understand it ... If it should be anything bad ! Leonid Fedorovitch. What, does he drink ? Tania. No, God forbid ! But I know that there is a Spirituism . . . Leonid Fedorovitch. You know that ? Tania. Why shouldn't I ? I understand very well. Others with their lack of education don't perhaps understand . . . 64 The Fruits of Culture Leonid Fcdorovitch. Well, what then? Tania. I am anxious about Semion. It happens with him Leonid Fedorovitch. What happens? Tania. Something like Spirituism. Just ask the domestics. As soon as he goes to sleep at the table, right away the table begins to tremble and to squeak : tuk, tu . . . tuk ! All the domestics have heard it. Leonid FcdorovitcJi. Exactly what I told Sergei Ivanovitch this morning. And ? Tania. And . . . when was it ? Yes, Wednes- day. We had just sat down to dinner. Scarcely had he sat down at the table when the spoon jumped into his hand all of its own accord hop ! Leonid FedorovitcJi. Ah, that is interesting ! Hop into his hand? How, had he gone to sleep ? Tania. I didn't notice. I think he had gone to sleep. Leonid FedorovitcJi. Well, and? Tania. Well, I am anxious, and wanted to ask you whether any harm could come from it ? To have to be together with some one for a whole life, if something like that is in him . . . Leonid Fcdorovitch (smiling). No, no, don't The Fruits of Culture 65 be afraid ; there's nothing bad in that. That only means that he is a medium, simply a me- dium. I knew long ago that he was a medium. Tania. Strange ! . . . And I have been in such fear ! Leonid Fedorovitch. No, no, fear nothing, that is of no consequence. (To himself!) That is excellent Kaptchitch can't come, so we can make experiments with him this very day. . . . No, no, fear nothing, my child, he will also be a good husband and everything . . . That is an especial power, which all men possess. It is only weaker in some and stronger in others. Tania. I thank you with all my heart. I shall not think of it any more now. And I have had such fear about it. That comes from our ignorance. Leonid Fedorovitch. No, no, don't be afraid, Tania ! SCENE LIX. The Same and FEDOR IVANITCH. Leonid Fedorovitch. I am going out. To prepare everything for this evening's stance. Fedor Ivanitch. But Mr. Kaptchitch is not coming to-day. Leonid Fedorovitch. No matter, it's all the 66 The Fruits of Culture same. (He puts on Jiis cloak.} We shall have a trial stance with our own medium. (Exit. FEDOR IVANITCH^WJ out with him.) SCENE LX. TANIA alone. Tania. He believed it, he believed it (she squeals and jump s\ Sure as God, he believed it ! A real miracle (she squeals}. Now the thing must succeed, if only Semion doesn't get frightened. SCENE LXI. TANIA and FEDOR IVANITCH (coming back). Fedor Ivanitch. Well, how is it, did you tell your secret ? Tania. Certainly. I will tell you about it, too ; only later. But I have a favor to ask of you also, Fedor Ivanitch. Fedor Ivanitch. What sort of a favor can that be? Tania (ashamed}. You have always been like a second father to me. I will speak to you openly, as to God. Fedor Ivanitch. No flattery now ; say right out what you want. The Fruits of Culture 67 Tania. What I want ? I want Semion wants to marry me. Fedor Ivanitch. That's it! That's why I have noticed . . . Tania. Why should I conceal it ? I am an orphan, and you know how it is here in this city life ; everybody is after a girl ; be it only Gregori Michailitch. I have no peace from him. That one also you know? They act as if I were a lifeless being, as if I were here only for their pleasure . . . Fedor Ivanitch. Clever girl, bravo ! Well, what is it then ? Tania. Semion has written to his father, and now he has seen me, the father I mean, immediately he says : He has come to be a fine gentleman ! The son I mean, Fedor Ivanitch ! (She makes a bow.} Take the place of a father to me. Speak to the old man, to Semion's father. I will take them to the kitchen ; then you will come in and speak to the old man. Fedor Ivanitch. (smiling). That is, I am to be your match-maker? Very well, that may be. Tania. Dearest, best Fedor Ivanitch, take the place of a father to me, and I will pray for you all my life. 68 The Fruits of Culture Fedor IvanitcJi. Well, well, I will go. Rely on me. (He takes his paper?) Tania. You will be a second father to me. Fedor Ivanitch. Very well, very well. Tania. I may hope then . . . (Exit.) SCENE LXII. FEDOR IVANITCH alone. Fedor Ivanitch (sways his head to and fro). A winning, good child ! How many such are ruined, sad ! One single false step, then they go from hand to hand . . Not a soul to draw them from the mire. How miserably that dar- ling Natalie fared ! . . . She was also good, she also had a mother who cherished and cared for her, and had reared her . . . (Takes his paper?) Well, how is it with our Ferdinand ? How is he going to disentangle himself? . . . (The curtain falls.) ACT II. The stage represents the interior of the domestics' kitchen. The peasants, in shirt-sleeves and reeking with perspiration, are sitting at the table and drinking tea. FEDOR IVANITCH is smoking a cigar on the other side of the stage. On the stove lies the OLD COOK, who is not seen during the first four scenes. SCENE I. The three peasants and FEDOR IVANITCH. Fcdor Ivanitch. My advice is to let him have his will. If he wishes it and she also, then let them. The girl is good and honest. That she likes to dress up, don't mind that too much. That's the way it is in the city ; it wouldn't do else. And the girl is clever. Second Peasant. Well, if he insists on it. He has to marry her, not I. But she is already much too fine. What are we to do with her in a peasant's hut ? Her mother-in-law will not even be allowed to caress her. Fedor Ivanitch. That has nothing to do with being fine, good friend, but with character. 70 The Fruits of Culture If she has a good character, then she will also be obedient and respectful. Second Peasant. Well, I'll not withhold my consent, if the boy has set his mind on the girl. It's bad, anyway, to take one whom one doesn't love. I'll consult with my old woman, and then' as God wills ! Fedor Ivanitch. Well then, shake hands on it. Second Peasant. I suppose it's fate. First Peasant. What luck you have, Sachar! You come here to settle some business, and just see he takes away a princess for his daughter- in-law. Now we'll only have to wet it yet, so to speak ; then it's as it ought to be. Fedor Ivanitch. Not necessary at all. ( Uncomfortable silence?) Fedor IvanitcJi. You see, I can appreciate the life of the peasants. I am thinking myself, I tell you, of buying a piece of land. I would like to build me a house, and farm. Perhaps even in your neighborhood. Second Peasant. That is very nice ! First Peasant. Rcal-ly, with a little money one can provide himself with every pleasure in the country. The Fruits of Culture 71 Third Peasant, Why say anything about it ? In the country, I say, there is in any case more freedom ; quite different from the city. Fedor Ivanitch. How, will you admit me to your commune, if I should settle down amongst you ? Second Peasant. Why shouldn't we admit you ? You drink with the elders and are ad- mitted. First Peasant. Yes, you can open a bar, so to speak, or an eating-house. What a life that would be ! One need not die at all then. You'll be the gentleman, and need ask nobody's pleas- ure. Fedor IvanitcJi. We'll see, we'll see. I merely wish to lead a quiet life in my old age. I am having a good enough time here nor will it come^easy to me to leave ; Leonid Fedor- ovitch is, indeed, a. rarely good man. First Peasant. That' is really so. But why does he treat our business In- that way ? Is it to remain this way without a result ? Fedor Ivanitch. He would like to ! Second Peasant. Is he afraid of his wife? Fedor Ivanitch. He is not afraid of her-; but neither will she give her consent. Third Peasant. If you would put in a word 72 The Fruits of Culture for us, little father ? How are we to live other- wise ? Our land is small . . . Fcdor Ivanitch. First let us wait and see what Tatiana will bring about with her en- deavors. She has taken it in hand, has she not? Third Peasant. Little father, have mercy on us ! Our land is small, hardly a hen not to say anything of cattle hardly a hen, I say, has room. Fedor Ivanitch. Yes, if it depended on me. (To the second peasant?) So it is settled, then, good friend, we two are now fathers-in-law. The affair with Tania is agreed to ? Second Peasant. If I have said it once, I don't take back my word, even without having wet it. If our affair would only succeed. SCENE II. The Same. The COOK enters, casts a glance at the stove, makes a sign, and begins at once to talk viva- ciously with FEDOR IVANITCH. Cook. They have just called up Semion from their lordship's kitchen ; his lordship and he who conjures with him, that baldhead ; they put him on a chair and commanded him to take part, in the place of Kaptchitch. The Fruits of Culture 73 Fedor Ivanitch. What lie is that ? Cook. Sure. Just now Jacob told Tania about it. Fedor Ivanitch. Strange ! SCENE III. The Same and the COACHMAN. Fedor Ivanitch. What do you want ? Coachman (to F^cdor Ivanitch}. Tell their lordships I did not come into their service in order to house with dogs. Let who will do that. I don't feel like living with dogs. Fedor Ivanitch. With what dogs ? Coachman. They've sent three curs to us in the coachmen's room from Vassili Leoniditch. They've soiled everything, and howl, and one dare not touch them they bite at you. Mad beasts ! they'll eat one up before one knows it. And I would just like to smash their legs with a club. Fedor Ivanitch. When was that ? Coachman.. To-day they brought them from the exposition, expensive rat-hounds or whatever they are. The devil knows what they are called. Either the dogs must leave the coach- men's room or the coachmen. You may tell that to their lordships. 74 The Fruits of Culture Fedor Ivanitcli. Yes, that is no way of doing. I will go upstairs and ask. Coachman. They can come down here to Lukeria. What ? Cook (enraged}. Here human beings have to eat, and you want to shut up the curs in here ? It is already . . . Coachman. And in my place there are coats, straps, and harnesses. And cleanliness is ex- pected of me. Perhaps in the butler's room ? Fedor Ivanitch. I must speak to Vassili Leoniditch. Coachman (annoyed}. Let him have the curs fastened to his neck and 'run about with them. He likes to drive about all day anyway. Hec- tor he has ruined out and out. And what a horse he was ! . . . O such a life ! (Exit, slam- ming tlic door} SCENE IV. The Same except the COACHMAN. Fedor Ivanitch. Yes, bad management, bad management. (To the peasants} It's settled then ; meanwhile good bye, children ! Peasants. God be with you ! {Ex-it FEDOR IVANITCH.) The Fruits of Culture 75 SCENE V. The Same except FEDOR IVANITCH. As soon as FEDOR IVANITCH leaves, groans are heard in the direction of the stove. Second Peasant. A fine gentleman, like a general ! Cook. Nothing special ! His own room, free washing from their lordships, his tea, his sugar, everything he gets from their lordships, and food from their lordships' table. The Old Cook. The devil, too and why shouldn't he be doing finely ? He steals like a magpie ! Second Peasant. Who is that the fellow on the stove ? Cook. He an old man. (Pause.} First Peasant. I have seen you eating before, too ; you must be rich people. Cook. We have no reason to complain. As to that matter, she is not miserly ; Sundays wheat bread, fish during Lent and the holidays, and whoever doesn't want to needn't fast at all. Second Peasant. Does anybody eat other things on fast days, then ? Cook. Well, all do. Only the coachman (not the one who was here, but the old one), 76 T/ic Fruits of Culture and Semion, and I, and the' housekeeper wo fast ; all the others eat meat. Second Peasant. And he himself ? Cook. Ah ! there you make a fine mistake. He scarcely remembers any more that there is a fast day. Tliird Peasant. Gracious God ! First Peasant. That's the way it is among great folks ; they learn that out of books. That's culture ! Third Peasant. Every day, I think, they have wheat bread ? Cook. Bah ! wheat bread. They care a lot for your wheat bread ! You ought just to see for once what they do eat ! All the things that are served on their table ! First Peasant. What great folks eat, that we know is light as air ! Cook. Good ! air ! well, they fall to pretty lively ! First Peasant. With an appetite, so to speak. Cook. Because they also drink with it. These sweet wines, whiskeys, effervescing drinks, for every course a special one. They eat. and drink, and eat and drink again . . . First Peasant. It is so arranged beforehand that they may eat all the more. The Fruits of Culture 77 Cook. Yes, bless me, how they do feed ! With them it is not like this : sit down, eat, cross one's self, get up, they eat without interruption. Second Peasant. Like hogs with the feet in the trough. (Peasants lang//.) Cook. Scarcely have they opened their eyes, praise the Lord, directly they call for the samo- var, tea, coffee, chocolate. When they have emptied two samovars go, fetch the third. Then immediately breakfast, immediately dinner, and then immediately coffee again ; scarcely have they filled their stomachs immediately again tea ; then all sorts of trifles : sweetmeats, dessert, and so on without end. When they go to bed, they are still eating. Third Peasant. Yes, so it is. (Laughs.) First and Second Peasants. What are you laughing for ? Third Peasant. I should for once like to live a day like that, too. Second Peasant. When do they do their work, anyway ? Cook. What work have they to do ? Cards, piano, that is their work. The young lady, when she just opens her eyes, off she goes for the piano. and thumps away on it! And the 78 The Fruits of Culture other, the teacher, who lives in the house, is already standing there and waiting for the piano to become free ; when the one is through, dash the other pounces down on it. Some- times they get two pianos, two sit down to each one, and then four drum away at once. They drum away, I tell you, till one can hear it down here. Third Peasant. Ah, gracious God ! Cook. That is their work : piano and cards. When they meet, right away it's cards, wine, cigars, a,nd so it goes through the whole night. Scarcely are they up in the morning, it's eating again. SCENE VI. The Same and SEMION. i Semion. I wish you a good dinner. First Peasant. Please sit down. Seniion (approaches the table). Thank you very much. ( The first peasant pours him some tea. ) Second Peasant. Where have you been ? Semion. I have been upstairs. Second Peasant. Well, what are they doing there ? Semion. I don't understand anything about it. I don't know what they call it. The Fruits of Culture ^9 Second Peasant. Well, but what are they doing, anyhow ? Scmion. But I don't know what it's called. They tried to find a force in me. But I don't understand anything about it. Tatiana says : Go on, she says, and we'll get the land for bur peasants ; he'll surely give it. Second Peasant. How does she expect to bring that round ? Semion. I don't understand her ; she won't tell. Only do as I tell you, she says. Second Peasant. Do what ? Semion. First nothing. They made me sit on a chair, put out the light, and told me to go to sleep. And Tatiana hid herself near by. They cannot see her, but I see her. Second Peasant. What's the good of that ? Semion. God knows, I don't. First Peasant. Surely to kill time. Second Peasant. I can see, we two will never make sense of that. Tell us rather, did you save much money ? Semion. I didn't get any. It was all spent for me. It might amount to 28 roubles. Second Peasant. Very well, and if with God's Jielp we complete the purchase, I will take you home with us, Semka. 8o The Fruits of Culture Semion. With pleasure. Second Peasant. You have become, I think, a fine gentleman. You won't want to do farm work ? Semion. Farm work ? On the spot. Mow- ing, ploughing, nothing will go against my hand. First Peasant. You won't feel like returning to city life, so to speak ? Semion. No, one can live in the country, too. First Peasant. Uncle Mitri is already on the lookout for your place for the fine living. Semion. Well, Uncle Mitri will soon enough get tired o'f it. First it looks easy, but you'll soon see there is plenty of running to do, and then one's in for it. Cook. O Uncle Mitri, if you were only to attend their balls for once ! How you would open your eyes ! Third Peasant. There they never stop eat- ing at all ! Cook. What are you thinking about ? You ought just to see that ! Fedor Ivanitch took me along once. I look about : the ladies splendid! Dressed up, dressed up one can- not imagine it. And naked down to here and the arms naked ! The Fruits of Culture 81 Third Peasant. Gracious God ! Second Peasant. Fie, low! First Peasant. That is to say, the climate permits of that. Cook. And I look and look, little uncle : what does that mean ? all naked bodies. Would you believe it ? Old ones, our lady she has grand-children, you must know also naked. TJiird Peasant. Gracious God ! Cook. And then : when the music starts up and plays, every gentleman goes to his lady, embraces her, and then they whirl round in a circle. Second Peasant. The old ones too ? Cook. The old ones, too. Semion. No, the old ones remain sitting. Cook. You say that ; I myself have seen it. Semion. But it isn't true. Old Cook (raising his head, hoarse). That is polka-mazurka. Eh, you are stupid. You don't know that. They dance so ... Cook. You, dancer, keep your mouth shut, do you know. Pst ! somebody is coming. 82 The Fruits of Culture SCENE VII. The Same and GREGORI. The OLD COOK hides himself quickly. Grcgori (to tJie Cook). Get sauerkraut ! Cook. I've just come from the callar, now I must run right down again. For whom ? Gregori. A cooling dish for the young ladies. Quick ! Sitting here with Semion, and I don't know where to run to first. Cook. First they fill themselves up with the sweet stuff, until nothing more will go down ; then they get a taste for sauerkraut. First Peasant. That's for cleaning out the stomach, so to speak. Cook. Well, when there is room, they begin to fill up agafh. (She takes a dish and goes away.} SCENE VIII. The Same except the COOK. Gregori (to the peasants). Now just see: how comfortable they made themselves. You better look out ! If her ladyship should hear of it, she will raise a terrible storm, worse than this morning. (Laughs and goes away.) The Fruits of Culture 83 SCENE IX. The three peasants, SEMION, and the OLD COOK (on the stove). First Peasant. Real-ly, she raised a fine hail storm a while ago awful ! Second Peasant. It's plain, first he was for us, then when he saw she was taking the roof off the house, he slammed the door to. You may go to the devil, he thinks. Third Peasant (with a movement of the hand}. The same story the world over. My old woman, too, I say, when she gets into a rage, God save us ! Then I leave the house of my own accord. The deuce take her ! One is glad if she doesn't go for one with the iron poker. ,Gracious God ! SCENE X. The Same and JACOB (rushes in with a prescription in his hand). Jacob. Semion, hurry to the apothecary, quick, get these powders for her ladyship. . Semion. But he told me to stay here. Jacob. There is time enough. Your turn 84 The Fruits of Culture doesn't come till after tea ... I wish you a good dinner ! First Peasant. Please sit down. (Exit SEMION.) SCENE XI. The Same except SEMIOX. Jacob. I have no time ; well, just a drop, for company's sake ! First Peasant. We are here holding a con- versation about how haughty her ladyship was a while ago. Jacob. O, she is hot-tempered ! So hot- tempered that she gets quite beside herself. Sometimes she cries in a rage. First Peasant. What I was going to ask, so to speak. She was all the time talking about macrotes. Macrotes, macrotes, she says, they brought macrotes into the house. What use are these macrotes put to, anyhow? Jacob. Ah, you mean the macrobes. That is, they say, a kind of bugs from which all diseases are said to spring. You see you are suspected of having some. And the place where you have been has been scrubbed and The Fruits of Culture 85 scrubbed, and sprinkled and sprinkled. There is a medicine from which they perish, these little bugs. Second Peasant. But then whereabouts on us are they, these little bugs. Jacob (drinks tea}. People say they are so, so small that one can't see them, even under a glass. Second Peasant. How does she' know then that there are some on me ? Perhaps she's got more of these filthy things than I ? Jacob. Go ask her yourself ! Second Peasant. And I think it's all empty talk. Jacob. Certainly, empty talk ; but the doc- tors must invent something, what should they be paid for else ? Every day he comes driving up to us. Walks in, says something pockets ten roubles. Second Peasant. Impossible ! Jacob. There's one even who gets a hun- dred. First Peasant. What ? A hundred ? Jacob. A hundred? You say: a hundred? A thousand one must give when he goes into the country. If you will give a thousand, he says, well ; if not, die ! 86 The Fruits of Culture Third Peasant. Gracious God ! Second Peasant. How, has he some magic word ? Jacob.. Must be. Once I was with a general in the neighborhood of Moscow, a bad, proud gentleman, the general, terrible! One day his little daughter got sick. They get the thou- sand roubles at once and I come . . . They all agreed, and he came. Then something was not done right for him. O, I tell you, how he pounces down on the general ! Ah ! says he, that is the respect you have for me, that is the respect. Very well, cure your child yourself ! What do you think ? The general forgot his pride and flattered him in every way : little father, do not desert us ! First Peasant. And he got the thousand roubles ? Jacob. What else, do you think ? Second Peasant. Ridiculously much money I What could not we peasants do with so much money ! Third Peasant. And I think it's all bosh. When I got footsore that time I doctored and doctored, five roubles' worth I doctored. Then I stopped doctoring and my foot was well. ( The OLD COOK on the stove coughs.) The Fruits of Culture 87 Jacob. Back again, little friend ? First Peasant. What's he ? Jacob. He used to be our master's cook ; he comes to see Lukeria. First Peasant. That is to say, head cook. What, does he live here ? Jacob. N n no ! He is not allowed to be here. He doesn't live anywhere : one day here, the next there. When he's got a half-penny, he goes to a night shelter ; when he's spent his money in drink, he comes here. Second Peasant. How could he get into such a way ? Jacob. He degenerated. And what a man he was a gentleman ! A gold watch he car- ried, he got forty roubles a month, and now, but for Lukeria, he would have long ago died of hunger. SCENE XII. The Same and the COOK (with sauerkraut). Jacob (to Lukeria}. As I see, Pavel Petro- vitch is back again. Cook. Where is he to stay, then shall he freeze to death, what ? Third Peasant. What whiskey does ! Yes, whiskey . . . (He smacks his lips in sympathy.} 88 The Fruits of Culture Second Peasant. It's well-known : if a man is firm, he is firmer than a rock; if he is weak, he is weaker than water. The Old Cook {gets doiunfrom the stove ivith his hands and feet trembling]. See here, Lu- keria, give me a small glass. Cook. Where are you crawling to ? I will give you such a glass ! . . . Old Cook. Do you not fear God ? I am dying ! Good friends, a nickel ! Cook. See here, hurry, and get back on the stove. Old Cook. Cook ! A small h-ha-half glass. For Christ's sake, do you hear, do you under- stand me I implore you in Christ's name. Cook. Go, go ! You can have tea ! Old Cook. Your tea, your tea ! An insipid drink, it has no strength. Only a drop of brandy Lukeria ! Third Peasant. Ah, little friend, how he suffers ! Second Peasant. Give him some ; what of it? Cook (goes to the cupboard and pours him a small glass). There, take ! No more though ! Old Cook (grasps it and drinks trembling). Lukeria, cook ! I drink it, and you must know . The Fruits of Culture 89 Ccok. Well, well, don't talk! Climb back on the stove, and don't stir! (The OLD COOK climbs humbly on the stove and does not cease mumbling to himself.} Second Peasant. What it means when a man's weak ! First Peasant. Real-ly human weakness! Third Peasant. What can one say about it? (The OLD COOK stretches himself, and is still mumbling. Pause.) Second Peasant. What I was further going to ask : The girl here in your house, the one from our place, Axinia's girl how is it with her, how? What kind of a life is she leading that is to say, is she respectable ? Jacob. A good girl ; one must speak well of her. Cook'. I will tell you the truth, little uncle, I know all about the life here ; do you want to take Tatiana for your son then quick before she comes to grief; for that is sure to come. Jacob. Yes, that is really so. In the sum- mer there was a girl with us, Natalie ; she was a good girl, and she was ruined for nothing, worse than this one. . . . (He points to the Old Cook.} QO The Fruits of Culture Cook. Thousands of us are ruined here, whole villages of us. Everybody is enticed by the easy work and the good eating. . . . And with the good eating you see it goes down hill quickly. And when she is down, then they don't need such a one any more. Away with her at once let's have a new one. It was so with that dear Natalie she was down she was driven away at once. She gave birth and was taken sick, and last spring she died in the hospital. And what a girl that was ! TJiird Peasant. Gracious God ! Weak creat- ures. They are to be pitied. Old Cook. Yes, they pity us, those vermin ! (He dangles his legs doivn from the stove.} For thirty years I roasted myself at the heat then they had no use for me any more, die like a dog ! . . . Yes, they pity one ! First Peasant. Real-ly true, so goes the world ! Second Peasant. As long as they are eating and drinking, you are their good fellow. When they have eaten enough and drunk enough begone, filthy dog ! Third Peasant. Gracious God ! Old Cook. You know a heap. What is : a la bomong ? What is : Bavassari ? The Fruits of Culture 91 How much I used to know! Just think of it! The Czar has eaten the work of my hands. Now those vermin don't need me any more ! But they won't down me ! Cook. Well, well, his tongue has begun to wag. Go to the . . . ! Go crawl into your corner, that they won't see you. If Fedor Ivanitch or some of the others should come, they'll chase you and me both out of the house. (Pause.) Jacob. Do you also know my part of the country, Wosnessenskoie ? Second Peasant. To be sure we know it, seventeen versts from us ; it's no further, and across the river still less. What are you doing ? Have you rented land ? Jacob. My brother is a tenant, and I send him help. Although I am here myself, I am all the time thinking of home. First Peasant. Real-ly. Second Peasant. So Anissim is your brother ? Jacob. Certainly, my own brother. At the other end. Second Peasant. O, I know the third house. 92 The limits of Culture SCENE XIII. The Same and TANIA. Tania. Jacob I van itch ! Why do you take things easy down here ? You are called ! Jacob. Directly ! What's the matter ? Tania. Fifka is barking ! He wants some- thing to eat. And she is scolding about you : what a rascal he is, she says, he has no pity, she says, it was time long ago to give the dog his dinner, and he doesn't come ! . . . (She lauglis.} Jacob (about to go}. O, is she mad ? I hope there won't be a row ! Cook (to Jacob}. Why don't you take the sauerkraut along ? Jacob. Give it to me, give it to me. (He takes tJic sauerkraut and goes.} SCENE XIV. The Same except JACOB. First Peasant. Who is to eat dinn6r now ? Tania. The dog. Her dog. . . . (She sits down beside them and takes tlie teapot?) Is there some tea there still ? if not, I've brought some with me. (She pours tea.} The Fruits of Culture 93 Second Peasant. The dog must eat dinner? Tania. Certainly ! A special chop is pre- pared for him, that it may not be too fat. I wash his clothes for him, for the dog. Third Peasant. Gracious God ! Tania. Just like the master who had a fu- neral for his dog. Second Peasant. What's that story ? Tania. Listen a man told it a certain lord's dog had died. In the midst of the winter he drove out to bury him ; buries him, drives back, and weeps. There was a real sharp frost, the coachman's nose trickles, and he wipes it. . . . Let me have your glasses ! (Pours out tea.} It trickles and trickles, and he keeps on wiping. The master sees it : " How," says he, " why are you weeping ?" And the coachman says: " Why, Sir, why shouldn't I weep ? What a dog that was ! " (She lauglis} Second Peasant. And to himself I suppose he was thinking : If it had been you who kicked the bucket, I shouldn't cry either. . . . (He laughs.} Old Cook (from the stove). That's so, sure ! Tania. Very well, the master returns home, straight he goes to his wife : " How good," says he, "our coachman is, he wept the whole way 94 The Fruits of Culture so sorry was he for my Ami." Have him called : " There you shall have some whiskey, and here as a reward a rouble." She is just like that, and is angry if Jacob has no pity for the dog. (The peasants laugh.} First Peasant. Very good ! Second Peasant. Well, indeed ! Third Peasant. I declare, girl, you're witty! Tania (pours more tea). Drink some more ! Yes, so it is. one thinks this sort of life so fine, when it is disgusting to clean away all their filth. Fi ! In the country it is better. (The peasants turn up their cups again, which they had turned down.) Tania (pours tea). Drink, may it do you good, Jefim Anton itch ! Let me help you to some, Mitri Vlassievitch ! Third Peasant. Well, then, fill up, fill up. First Peasant. Now tell me, sly little puss, does our affair progress ? Tania. O, it progresses . . . First Peasant. Semion has told . . . Tania (quickly). Told ? Second Peasant. But one can't understand him. TJie Fruits of Culture 95 Tania. I can't say anything at all now, but I'll fix it, I'll fix it. Look here here is your paper, too ! (She points to the paper itnder her apron.} If only the one stroke would succeed. . . . (She squeals.} O, how nice that would be ! Second Peasant. Only look out, though, that you don't lose the paper. It has cost money. Tania. Be quite at your ease. The chief thing is, isn't it, that he signs it ? Third Peasant. Why, what else ? His sig- nature and everything is done. (He turns down his ctip.} Enough. Tania (to herself). He'll sign, you will see, he'll sign. Drink some more. (She pours tea.} . First Peasant. If you'll only bring about the completion of the sale, we will marry you at the expense of the village. (He declines the tea.} Tania (pours tea and passes the cups}. Drink ! ' Third Peasant. Just carry it out ! And we'll marry you, I say, and I will dance at your wedding. Although I have not danced in my whole life, I will dance then ! Tania (laughs}. That I hope will come true. (Pause.} Second Peasant (looking at Tania}. Yes, that's all very fine ; but you are not fit for peasants' work. 96 The Fruits of Culture Taiiia. I not fit ? What, do you think I have no strength ? You ought to see me pull her ladyship together; no peasant could pull harder. Second Peasant. Where do you pull her to, then ? Tania. It is made of whalebone, like a little jacket, down to here. And it is pulled together with strings, as in harnessing up ; one must even spit on one's hands. Second Peasant. That is to say, you lace her tight ? Tania. Yes, yes, I lace her tight. And one surely cannot prop one's feet against her. (She laughs?) Second Peasant. But why do you pull her together ? Tania. So, that's why. Second Peasant. What, has she taken a vow, or what ? Tania. No, no, for beauty. First Peasant. You pull her paunch together, so to speak, for beauty's sake ? Tania. One pulls and pulls until her eyes start from their sockets, and still she says : " More." One draws blisters on one's hands ; and you say I have no strength ! (The peasants laugh and wag their heads.} The Fruits of Culture 97 But here I sit and talk. (She runs away laughing?) Third Peasant. That's what I call a girl, she's witty ! First Peasant. And how accurate she is ! Second Peasant. O, yes ! SCENE XV. The three peasants, the COOK, the OLD COOK (on the s/flve), SACHATOFF and VASSILI LEONIDITCH com- ing. SACHATOFF holding a teaspoon in his hand. Vassili Leoniditch. Not exactly a dinner, but a dejeuner dinatoire. And I tell you, it was a splendid breakfast: ham of young pig deli- cious ! One dines exquisitely at Roulliet's. I have just now come. (Observing the peasants?) And the peasants are here again. Sachatoff. Yes, yes, that is all very fine; but we came here to hide something. Where shall we hide it ? Vassili Leoniditch. Pardon, a moment. (To the Cook?) Where are the dogs ? Cook. In the coachmen's room. They are surely not to be taken into the domestics' room ? Vassili Leoniditch. Ah ? in the coachmen's room ? Very well, 9 8 The Fruits of Culture SacJiatoff. I am waiting. Vassili Leoniditcli. Pardon, pardon. What, now? Conceal something? You know, Sergei Ivanovitch, I'll tell you something : in the pocket of a peasant, one of these here. Say this one. You there. Where is your pocket ? Third Peasant. What do you want of my pocket ? Just think, my pocket he wants ! I have money in my pocket. SacJiatoff. Well, where is your little purse ? Third Peasant. What's that to you ? Cook. What are you doing ? That's the young gentleman. Vassili Leoniditch (laughs}. Do you know why he is so frightened ? I'll tell you : he's got a lot of money in his pocket. Eh ? 1 SacJiatoff. Yes, yes, I understand. Well then : You talk to him, meantime I'll slip it into this bag so that they themselves won't know and can't show him. Talk to them. Vassili Leoniditch. Right away, right away. Well, how is it, children, will you buy the land ? Eh ? First Peasant. We, we want to with our whole heart. But the affair don't get on. Vassili Leoniditch. You must only not be miserly. Land is an important thing. I The Fruits of Culture 99 have already told you mint. One can raise tobacco, too. First Peasant. Yes, feal-ly, all products. Third Peasant. And you, little father, do put in a good word for us. How can we live ? The land is small not even a hen, I say, has room. SacJiatoff (has slipped the sp3on into the bag of the third peasant}. Cest fait. Done. Let us go. (Exit.} Vassili LeoniditcJi. Remember not to be miserly. Ah ? Well, good bye ! (Exit.} SCENE XVI. The three peasants, the COOK, and the OLD COOK (on the stove}. First Peasant. I said at the start : to our lodgings. For a dime, I say, each of us could have had a room, and we would at least have had peace ; here, God save us. Hand out your money, he says. What does that mean ? Second Peasant. He surely has been drink- ing. (The peasants turn down their cups, rise, and cross themselves?) IOO The Fruits of Culture First Peasant. Just think, how smart, what he said about the mint that we ought to sow. That one must understand. Second Peasant. To sow mint, as if that were such an easy matter. Just try it once, strain your back at it, and you will soon get sick of mint. . . . No, thank you! Now say, little sly-boots; where are we to sleep here ? Cook. Lie down one of you on the stove, the others each on a bench. Third Peasant. Christ my Saviour. (He prays.} First Peasant. God prosper our business ! (He lies down.} To-morrow afternoon we might leave, on the railroad ; Tuesday we are home. Second Peasant. Will you put out the light ? Cook. How so, put out ? Don't they all come running : the one wanting this, the other that. . . . However, only lie down ; I'll turn it down. Second Peasant. How can one make both ends meet on the small strip of land ? Ever since Christmas I've been obliged to buy grain. And the oat straw is giving out. So I might take four desjatines myself, have Semion come home. First Peasant. You have a family. No The Fruits of Culture IOI trouble on that score ! You can till the land if you only get it. If only our business might end fortunately ! Third Peasant. We must pray to the holy virgin. Perhaps she will have mercy. SCENE XVII. Quiet ; sighing. Then steps are heard, -voices, the door is thrown wide open, and in rush GROSSMANN, blindfolded, SACHATOFF, whom GROSSMANN is hold- ing by the hand, the PROFESSOR and the PHYSICIAN, the FAT LADY and LEONID FEDOROVITCH, BETSY and PETRISTCHEFF, VASSILI LEONIDITCH and MARIA KONSTANTINOVNA, HER LADYSHIP and the BARONESS, FEDOR IVANITCH and TANIA. The three peasants, the COOK and the OLD COOK {in- visible). The peasants jump up. GROSSMAXX enters with quick steps and remains standing. Fat Lady. Don't fear, I'll watch, I have taken it upon myself to watch, and will do my duty strictly. Sergei Ivanovitch, you are not leading him ? Sachatoff. No, no. Fat Lady. Do not lead him, but follow him willingly. (To Leonid Fedorovitch.} I know these experiments. I have made them myself. I feel a twitching, and the same moment . . . IO2 The Fruits of Culture Leonid FedorovitcJi. Pardon me, but I must ask you to keep perfect quiet. Fat Lady. O, yes, I understand that very well. I have experienced that myself. As soon as the attention was drawn off, I could no longer . . . Leonid Fedorovitch. 'Sh, 'sh . . . ( They walk about, make search near the first and sec- ond peasants, and approach the third. GROSS- MANN stumbles over a bench.} Baroness. Mais dites-moi, on le paye? Her Ladyship. Je ne saurais vons dire. Baroness. Mais, c est tin monsieur ? Her Ladyship. Oh, out ! Baroness: (^a tient du miraculeux. N' cst-ce pas ? Comment est-ce quil trouve f Her Ladyship. Je nc saurais vous dire. Mon mari vous V cxpliquera. (She sees tlic peasants and looks for the Cook.} Pardon. What is this ? (The BAROXESS approaches the group '.)* Her Ladysliip (to tlic Covk}. Who admitted the peasants ? Cook. Jacob brought them here. Her Ladyship. Who told Jacob to ? Cook. I don't know. Fedor I van itch saw them. The Fmits of Culture 103 Her Ladyship. Leonid ! (LEONID FEDOROVITCH does not hear j he is absorbed in the search, and hisses for silence.) Her Ladyship. Fedor Ivanitch ! What does this mean ? Did you not see that I disinfected the whole hall, and now they have infected the whole kitchen, the black bread, the kvass. . . . Fedor Ivanitch. I did not think it was dan- gerous here. And the men are here on busi- ness. They come from far away, from my home. Her Ladyship. That's just it, from the region of Kursk, where people are dying like flies of diphtheria and above all I gave orders that they should not remain in the house. . 4. Did I give orders, or didn't I? (She ap- proaches the others, who have crowded around tJic peasants.} Take care ! Do not touch them; they are all infected with diphtheria! L\'<> one I is lens to her; she steps aside with dignity, re- mains standing motionless, and waits.} Petristcheff (sniffing). Diphtheria ? don't know ; but there is some infectious matter in the air. Don't you smell it ? Betsy. Don't talk ! Wowo, in which bag? Vassili LeoniditcJi. In that one, in that one. He is coming, he is coming closer. IO4 The Fruits of Culture Pctristcheff. What is it now spirit vapor or vapor spirit ? Betsy. Here your cigarettes come in just right for once. Smoke, do smoke, closer to me. (PETRISTCHEKF b^nds forward and smokes on her.) Vassili LeoniditcJi. He'll find it, I tell you. Eh? Grossmann (looks excitedly at the third peas- ant). Here, here. I feel that it is here. Fat Lady. Do you feel a twitching ? (GROSSMANN bends down to the bag and draws out the spoon?) All. Bravo ! (General enthusiasm.} Vassili LeoniditcJi. Ah ! do you see where our teaspoon's been ? (To the peasant?) That's the kind you are ? Third Peasant. What kind am I ? I did not take your spoon. What is he about ? I have taken nothing, I have taken nothing, my conscience is clear. And he could do anything ! I saw at once it wasn't anything good he wanted. Hand me your bag, said he. I have taken nothing, Christ is my witness,* I have taken nothing. (The young people encircle him and laugh.) * At these words the Russian peasant crosses himself. The Fruits of Culture 105 Leonid Fedorovitch (angry at his son). Al- ways and forever your foolish tricks ! (To tlie third peasant.} Calm yourself, good man. We know that you have not taken anything. It was an experiment. Grossmann (takes off Jiis bandage and acts as if he were coming to). Water, if I may ask . . . Have the goodness. (Every one is busy about him) Vassili Lconiditcli. Let us go to the coach- men's room. I will show you what a hound I have there. Epatant ! Eh ? Betsy. What an ugly word. Don't we say dog ? Vassili LeoniditcJi. No, that won't do. I surely cannot say of you : What an Epatant PER- SON is Betsy! I must say : GIRL. So it is here, too. Eh? Maria Konstantinovna, am I not right ? Well said ? (He laughs) Maria Konstantinovna. Let us go. (Exeunt MARIA KONSTANTINOVNA, BETSY, PETRIST CHEFF, and VASSILI LEONIDITCH.) lo6 The Fruits of Culture SCENE XVIII. The Same except BETSY, MARIA KONSTAXTINOVNA, PETRISTCHEFF, and VASSILI LEONIDITCH. Fat Lady (to Grossmann}. What ? How ? Have you recovered ? (Grossmann docs not an- swer. To SacJiatoff.} Sergei Ivanovitch, did you not feel a twitching ? Sachatoff. I didn't feel anything whatever. But it was fine, it was fine. A perfect success. Baroness. Admirable ! Qa ne Ic fait pas souffrir ? Leonid Fedorovitcli. Pas le moins du monde. Professor (to Grossmann). Will you permit me ? (He hands a thermometer to the physician.} At the beginning of the experiment it was 99. ( To the physician.} Wasn't it so ? Have the kind- ness to take his pulse. A loss is inevitable. Physician (to Grossmann}. Well, Sir, will you let me feel your pulse ? Let us examine, let us examine. (He takes out his ^vatch and grasps his hand.} Fat Lady (to Grossmann}. Pardon me. But the condition in which you have been cannot be called sleep ? Grossmann (tired). A kind of hypnosis. Sachatoff. We are to understand then that you have hypnotized yourself ? The Fruits of Culture 107 Grossmann. And why not ? Hypnosis arises not alone fr6m association, from the sounding of a tomtom, as for instance in the experiments of Charcot, but from the mere en- trance into the hypnotic zone. SacJiatoff. Let us assume that it is so ; still it remains desirable to have a more exact defi- nition of what hypnosis is. Professor. Hypnosis is the phenomenon of the conversion of one force into another. Grossmann. Charcot defines it differently. Sachatojf. Pardon me, pardon me. That is your definition ; but Liebault has himself told me . . . Physician (letting go the pulse). Very well, and now the temperature. Fat Lady (obtruding Jierself}. No, pardon me ! I agree with Alexei Vladimirovitch. I will give you the best proof. When after my illness I lay unconscious, I was seized by a long- ing to speak. I am in general reticent ; but then I was seized by a longing to speak and to speak, and I spoke, said the people, so that all were astonished. (To Sachatoff.} However, I believe I have interrupted you ? Sacliatojf (dignified}. Not in the least. Tut, tut. io8 The Fmits of Culture Physician. Pulse 82, temperature has risen half a degree. Professor. There is the proof. So it had to be, too. (He takes out a note book and writes.} 82, correct ? And 99^ ? The approach of hyp- nosis is unfailingly followed by an increased action of the heart. Physician. I can testify as a physician that your prediction has come perfectly true. Professor (to SacJiatoff}. Your opinion then ? SacJiatoff. I was about to say that Liebault told me hypnosis is only a special mental state of greater impressibility. Professor. To be sure. But the main thing is still the law of equivalence. Grossmann. Besides, Liebault is far from being an authority ; but Charcot has instituted the most varied investigations, and demon- strated that hypnosis is induced by a stroke, a trauma. SacJiatoff. I do not at all deny Char- cot's labors. I know him, too ; I only say what Liebault told me. ... Grossmann (excited}. There are three thousand sick in the Salpetriere, and I have taken a whole course there. Professor. Pardon me, gentlemen. That is not the point at issue. The Fruits of Culture 109 Fat Lady (obtruding herself}. I will make it plain to you in two words. When my husband was ill, all the physicians gave him up. . . . Leonid Fcdorovitch. But let us go into the house. Dear Baroness, if you please. (They go away, all talking together, one interrupting the other.} SCENE XIX. The three peasants, the COOK, FEDOR IVANITCH, TANIA, the OLD COOK (on the stove}, LEONID FEDOROVITCH, and HER LADYSHIP. Her LadysJiip (holding Leonid Fedorovitch back by the sleeve). How often have I begged of you to make no arrangements in the house. You know nothing but your nonsense. And I must take the responsibility. They will infect everybody. Leonid FedorovitcJi. Who ? What ? I don't understand a word. Her Ladyship. How ? People who are afflicted with diphtheria pass the night in the kitchen, which is related to the house in a thousand ways. Leonid FedorovitcJi. But I ... Her Ladyship. What I ? HO T/ie Fruits of Culture Leonid Fedorovitch, I know of nothing what- ever. Her LadysJiip. But you should know if you wish to be the head of the family. One does not do such things. Leonid FedorovitcJi. I had no idea ... I thought . . . Her LadysJiip. Exasperating to listen to you ! (LEONID FEDOROVITCH remains silent^ Her Ladyship (to Fedor IvanitcJi). Away with them at once ! I do not want to see them in my kitchen ! It is terrible, nobody obeys, all to spite me . . . ! I send them away from one place ; they let them in again at another. (She talks herself more and more into a rage and begins to cry.} All to spite me ! All to spite me! And in my illness! Doctor! doctor! Peter Petrovitch ! . . . He, too, is away! (Exit, sobbing. LEONID FEDOROVITCH follows her.) SCENE XX. The three peasants, TANIA, FEDOR IVANITCH, the COOK, and the OLD COOK (on the stove). Tableaux. All remain standing silent for some time. Third Peasant. Heaven rest their souls. A little more and they would hand one over to The Fruits of Culture 1 1 1 the police. In my whole life I have not had anything to do with the courts. Let's go to a lodging-house, children. Fedor Ivanitch (to Tania). What's to be done now ? Tania. Only keep cool, Fedor Ivanitch. Into the coachmen's room with them. Fedor Ivanitch. Into the coachmen's room ? That is impossible ! The coachman has al- ready complained that it is crowded with dogs. Tania. Into the domestics' room 1?hen. Fedor Ivanitch. And if it's found out ? Tania. Nobody will find it out. Don't fear, Fedor Ivanitch. Can we send them away in the middle of the night ? They wouldn't find their way. Fedor Ivanitch. Well, do what you please ; only see that they don't remain here. (Exit.} SCENE XXI. The three peasants, TANIA, the COOK, and the OLD COOK. The peasants pick up their bags. Old Cook. Look, such damned vermin ! It goes too well with them ! Vermin ! Cook. Hush, you at least! You ought to thank God that they did not see you. H2 The Fruits of Culture Tania. Come along then, little uncles, into the domestics' room. First Peasant. Well, and our business ? How is it, so to speak, with the signature? Plow, can we hope ? Tania In an hour we shall know all. Second Peasant. Will you be sly enough ? Tania (laughs). So God will. ( Curtain falls. ) ACT III. The action takes place in the evening of the same day, in the small reception room where LEONID FEDORO- VITCH usually makes his experiments. SCENE I. LEONID FEDOROVITCH and the PROFESSOR. Leonid Fedorovitch. What do you think, shall we risk the stance with our new medium ? Professor. Certainly. The medium is un- doubtedly strong. But above all it is desirable that our mediumistic seance should take place to-day, and moreover with the same persons. Undoubtedly, the influence of the mediumistic force must manifest itself in Grossmann ; then the connection and unity of the phenomena will be still plainer. You will convince your- self, if the medium shall be as powerful as before, that Grossmann will get into a vibrat- ing motion. Leonid FedorovitcJi. Then I will call Semion and invite the company. H4 The Fruits of Culture Professor. Yes, yes. I only want to make a few notes. (He takes out a note book and writes.) SCENE II. The Same and SACHATOFF. Sachatoff. In there, in Anna Pavlovna's room, they are sitting at the card table. I as the man of straw . . . and besides as a curious spectator, announce myself to you. . . . Well, will the stance take place ? Leonid P"edorovitcJi. Certainly, it will un- doubtedly take place. Sachatoff. What, without the mediumistic force of Mr. Kaptchitch ? Leonid Fedorovitch. Vous avcs la wain hen- reuse. Just think, the same peasant of whom I told you proved himself to be an unquestion- able medium. Sachatoff. Remarkable ! Oh, that is ex- ceedingly interesting. Leonid Fedorovitch. Yes, yes. We put him to a little experimental test after tea. Sachatoff. Did it succeed, and are you con- vinced ? TJie Fruits of Culture 115 Leonid Fedorovitch. Thoroughly, he proved himself a medium of unusual force. SacJiatoff (incredulous). Remarkable ! Leonid Fedorovitch. It turned out that in the domestics' room it had already been long noticed. He sits down to a plate, and the spoon hops as of itself into his hand. (To tlie Professor.} Do you hear that ? Professor. No, that I have not heard. Sachatoff (to tJie Professor}. But you surely admit the possibility of such phenomena ? Professor. What phenomena ? Sachatoff. Well, in general, Spiritualistic, mediumistic, and, in short, supernatural phe- nomena. Professor. The question is : what do we call supernatural ? When not a living being, man, but a piece of stone attracted a nail to itself, how did research regard this phenome- non : as natural or supernatural ? Sachatoff. Yes, very true ; but such phe- nomena as the attraction of a magnet con- stantly repeat themselves. Professor. It is just so here. The phenom- enon repeats itself, and we seek to investigate it. More : we seek to range the investigated phenomena under the laws common to all other Ii6 Tlie Fruits of Culture phenomena. The phenomena, surely, appear as supernatural only because we ascribe the causes of the phenomena to the medium itself. But that is false. The phenomena are not pro- duced by the medium, but by a spiritual force acting through the medium, and that is a great difference. The solution of the question lies in the law of equivalence. Sachatoff. Yes, very true, but . . . SCENE III. The Same and TANIA (enters and gets behind the por- tiere). Leonid Fedorovitch. But you must know one thing. As in the case of Home and Kaptchitch, so also in the case of this medium, we must not rely on anything in advance. It may fail, but it may just as likely prove a complete materiali- zation. Sachatoff. A materialization even ? In what is this materialization to consist ? Leonid Fedorovitch. In the apparition of a deceased person, your father, your grandfather; in that he takes you by the hand, gives you something ; or in that somebody suddenly rises in the air, as happened to Alexei Vladimirovitch at our last seance. The Fruits of Culture 1 1 7 Professor. True, true. But the principal thing is : the explanation of the phenomena and their classification under the general laws. SCENE IV. The Same and the FAT LADY. Fat Lady. Anna Pavlovna has permitted me to come over to you. Leonid FedorovitcJi. Pleased to have you. Fat Lady. But how it fatigued Grossmann ! He could scarcely hold the cup. Did you no- tice how pale he grew (to the Professor} the mo- ment he drew near ? I observed it at once, and first told Anna Pavlovna about it. Professor. Without doubt the loss of vital force. Fat Lady. I say too that it must not be done to excess. Just think of it; the hypnotizer suggested to an acquaintance of mine, Vie- ratchka Konchina you know her that she should stop smoking ; then her back began to ache. Professor (trying to speak} The height of the temperature and the pulse plainly point to ... Fat Lady. Allow me one moment. I tell Ii8 The Fruits of Cttlturc her : it is much better to smoke than to suffer so from the nerves. Of course, smoking is harmful, and I too would much rather give it up; but what do you want, it won't do. ... I didn't smoke once for two weeks, then I couldn't stand it any longer. Professor (again tries to speak}. Plainly point to. . . Fat Lady. But no, allow me. Only two words. You say : a loss of forces ? And I wanted to say, when I rode in the stage . . . The roads were abominable at that time, you cannot remember the time, and I have made the observation, you may say what you please, that our nervousness comes only from the rail- roads. I, for instance, cannot sleep while trav- elling. You might kill me, but I couldn't go to sleep. Professor (wants to begin again, but the Fat Lady will not let him}. The loss of force . . . SacJiatoff (smiling). Yes, yes. (LEONID FEDOROVITCH rings the bell.) Fat Lady. I do not close an eye for one, two, three nights, and in spite of that I can't go to sleep. The Fruits of Culture 119 SCENE V. The Same and GREGORI. Leonid Fedorovitch. Tell Fedor, please, that he is to prepare everything for the stance, and call Semion here ; Semion, the boy, you under- stand ? Gregori. At your service ! (Exit.} SCENE VI. LEONID FEDOROVITCH, the PROFESSOR, the FAT LADY, and TANIA (hidden}. Professor (to SacJiatoff}. The height of the temperature and the pulse have pointed to a loss of vital force. It will be exactly so in the mediumistic phenomena. The law of the con- servation of force . . . Fat Lady. Yes, yes. I only wanted to say besides how pleased I am that a simple peasant has proven himself a medium. That is wonder- ful ; I have always said the Slavophiles . . . Leonid Fedorovitcli. Let us go into the front room meanwhile. Fat Lady. Permit me to say two words : . . . The Slavophiles are right ; but I have always I2O -The .Fruits of Culture told my husband such a thing must not be car- ried to excess. Always the golden mean. How can any one maintain that with the people everything was good when I have seen with my own eyes . . . Leonid FcdorovitcJi. Will you not please go into the front room ? Fat Lady, Such a scapegrace, and drinks already. I gave him a good scolding on the spot ; he was thankful to me later on. They are like children, and children need I have always said so love and severity. (All exeunt talking^) SCENE VII. TANIA (alone, comes from her hiding place behind the door). Tania. O, if it would only succeed ! (She fastens threads.} SCENE VIII. TANIA and BETSY (entering hastily). Betsy. Papa not here ? (Looking at Tania.*) What are you doing here ? Tania. I, Lisaveta Leonidovna, I only hap- The Fruits of Culture 12 1 pened to pass, I wanted to ... I came in ... (Embarrassed.} Betsy. Is not the seance to take place here soon ? (She observes tJiat Tania draivs in tJie threads, fixes Jier eyes upon her, and suddenly bursts out laughing- loudly} Tania ! So you do everything ? Now don't deny it any more ; the last time it was you, too ? You, you ? Tania. Lisaveta Leonidovna, sweet, dear lady! Betsy (charmed}. O, that is excellent ! I should not have believed it ! But why do you do that ? Tania. Dear gracious lady, do not betray me ! Betsy. Surely not, not for the world ! It gives me a mad pleasure ! But how do you do it ? Tania. This is the way ; I hide, and, when the light is out, I steal out and do everything. Betsy (pointing to a thread}. And what is this for ? Hold, don't tell me, I know it already, you pull . . . Tania. Lisaveta Leonidovna, sweet, dear lady, I want to be quite frank with you. Until now I have only been doing it for fun, but to-day I have an important matter in mind. 122 Tlic Fruits of Culture Betsy. How? What? An important matter? Tania. You know, of course, peasants have come who want to buy land, and your papa don't want to sell to them, and has not signed the document and has returned it to them. Fedor Ivanitch says : the spirits forbade him. So the thought came to me. Betsy. But you are a sly thing ! Only go ahead, go ahead. But how are you going to do it? Tania. I have planned it so : when they put out the light, at once I begin to rap, to throw things, to work about their heads with the thread, and at the close the document comes down from above, I have it with me, and I let it fall on the table. Betsy. And what's to happen then ? Tania. What's to happen then ? All will be astonished ; for did not the peasants have the document, and suddenly it is here. Now I command . . . Betsy. But Semion is the medium to-day ! Tania. I command him then . . . (She can- not speak for laughing.} I command him then to choke whoever happens to be in his reach. Only not your papa he will not dare do that the rest he may choke until it is signed. The Fruits of Culture 123 Betsy (laughs). But that is not the way it is done ; the medium himself does nothing. Tania. That's all the same ; perhaps it will succeed so, too. SCENE IX. TANIA and FEDOR IVANITCH. BETSY makes a sign to TANIA, and goes away. Fedor Ivanitch. What are you doing here ? Tania. I have come to you, dear Fedor Ivanitch. Fedor Ivanitch. What do you want ? Tania. I have come on account of that affair of mine about which I asked you. Fedor Ivanitch. Your suit is accepted, they gave their consent. Only it has not yet been wet. Tania (squeals). Is that really true ? Fedor Ivanitch. If I tell you so. He says : I will consult with my old woman, and then as God wills. Tania. Did he say that ? (She squeals.} Ah, dearest, best Fedor Ivanitch, my whole life long will I pray for you. Fedor Ivanitch. Tut, tut, tut ! There's no time for that now. I must _get things in order for the seance. 124 The Fruits of Culture Tania. I will help you. What is to be got in order ? Fedor Ivanitch. What ? Here, the table into the middle of the room, chairs, the guitar, the harmonica. The lamp is not needed candles. Tania (assisting Fedor Ivanitch}. So then. Here the guitar, and the inkstand here. (Puts it down.} So? Fedor Ivanitch. But do they really want to have Semion here ? Tania. I suppose it must be so. For they have had him here before. Fedor Ivanitch. Amazing ! (He puts on his eyeglasses} But is he clean ? Tania. How am I to know that ? Fedor Ivanitch. Do you know . . . Tania. What, Fedor Ivanitch ? Fedor Ivanitch. Go get the nail brush and some toilet^ soap ; you may get it from my room cut off his claws and wash him very nicely. Tania. He will wash himself. Fedor Ivanitch. Tell him at least, and ask him also to put on clean linen. Tania. Very well, Fedor Ivanitch. (Exit.} The Fruits of Culture 125 SCENE X. FEDOR IVANITCH alone, takes a chair. Fcdor Ivanitch. Cultured, they are very cult- ured, Alexei Vladimirovitch, for instance. He ia professor, yet I must constantly doubt him. The superstition among the people, vulgar superstition, is combated, the belief in hob- goblins, magicians, witches . . . And yet, if one searches more closely, it is the same su- perstition. For can it be possible that the souls of the deceased should talk, play on the guitar ? Either they deceive one another or they deceive themselves. The story about Semion also is hard for me to swallow. (He looks at the album?) And here is their Spiritualistic album, too. Is it possible, I ask, to photograph a spirit ? What a picture! a Turk and Leo- nid Fedorovitch together. Strange weakness of man ! ' SCENE XI. FEDOR IVANITCH and LEONID FEDOROVITCH. Leonid Fedorovitch (entering). Well, ready ? Fedor Ivanitch (rising-slow?}'). Ready. (Smil- ing.) I only don't know whether your new me- 126 The Fruits of Culture dium won't compromise you, Leonid Fedoro- vitch. Leonid Fedorovitch. O no, Alexei Vladimi- rovitch and myself have already experimented with him. An extraordinarily powerful me- dium ! Fedor Ivanitch. I don't understand that, of course. But is he clean ? You have surely not thought of asking him to wash his hands, and that surely won't do. Leonid Fedorovitch. His hands ? Ah, yes. Do you think they are not clean, Fedor Ivan- itch ? Fedor Ivanitch. Of course, a peasant. And there will be ladies here, also Maria Vassilievna. Leonid Fedorovitch. Very well. Fedor Ivanitch. I wanted to tell you be- sides : Timofei, the coachman, was here, and complained that on account of the dogs he sim- ply didn't know how to steer clear of all the filth. Leonid Fedorovitch (placing the things on the table in order, absent-minded}. What dogs ? Fedor Ivanitch. Three greyhounds were sent to-day to Vassili Leoniditch ; these have been taken to the coachmen's room. Leonid Fedorovitch (vexed}. Tell Anna Tlte Fruits of Culture 127 Pavlovna ; whatever she may order done ; I have no time. Fedor Ivanitch. But you know her pas- sion . . . Leonid Fedorovitcli. Let her do what she pleases. The boy gives me no end of annoy- ance . . . and I have no time. SCENE XII. The Same and SE.MION (in a sleeveless jacket, enters and smiles). Semion. It is your lordship's will ? Leonid Fcdorovitch. Yes, yes. Show your hands. Well, very well. Now do as before, my son ; sit down and abandon yourself to your feelings. And think of nothing whatever. Sdmion. What should I think ? The more one thinks, the worse. Leonid Fedorovitch. Exactly, exactly. The weaker consciousness, the greater the force. Do not think, and abandon yourself to your mood. Do you feel like sleeping sleep ; do you feel like walking walk; do you under- stand ? Semion. What is there to understand here ? That doesn't take much shrewdness. 128 The Fruits of Culture Leonid Fcdorovitcli. The main point is -do not get confused. You might yourself be easily astonished. You must know just as we live, so there lives close to us a never-seen world of spirits. Fedor IvanitcJi (improving). Invisible beings, do you understand ? Semion (laughs). What is there to under- stand here ? As you say that, the thing is very simple. Leonid FedorovitcJi. You might rise into the air or something else, only do not be afraid. Semion. Why should I be afraid ? That won't hurt. Leonid Fedorovitch. Very well then, I shall go and call the company. Is everything ready? Fedor Ivanitch. I think everything is ready. Leonid Fedorovitch. And the slates ? Fedor Ivanitclt. Are downstairs, I shall get them at once. (Exit.} SCENE XIII. LEONID FEDOROVITCH and SEMION. Leonid Fedorovitch. Well, that's right. Do not get confused, and move freely. Semion. Take off the jacket, perhaps. Then I can move more freely. The Fruits of Cultiire 129 Leonid Fedorovitch. The jacket? No, no, that is not necessary. (Exit.} SCENE XIV. SEMION alone. Semion. Again she bids me do all that, and she will again throw her things. Indeed, she isn't afraid ! SCENE XV. SEMION and TANIA (enters, in her stockings, her dress of the color of the wall paper. SEMION laughs). Tania (hisses). 'Sh ! 'sh ! . . . They might hear! Paste these matches on your fingers as before (he fastens them}. Now, do you still know all ? Semion (bends the fingers in}. The very first, wet the matches. Flourish them in the air one. Two chatter with the teeth, so ... Number three I have forgotten. Tania. And three is the most important point. Do not forget : when the paper falls on the table I will besides ring the bell in- stantly you do so with your arms wider apart, and seize. You seize any one who sits near. And when you have seized one, you 130 The Fruits of Culture squeeze (laughs), whether lady or gentleman. You have only one thing to do to squeeze and to squeeze and not to let go, as if you were in sleep, and gnash your teeth or bellow, look, so ... (she bellows}. And when I play on the guitar, then you act as if you were about to wake up, stretch yourself, you know, so. Then you awake. . . . Do you know all ? Semion. I know all ; but it is awfully laugh- able. Tania. But you must not laugh. Should you laugh once, however, that will not dish the matter. They will think it was in sleep. But remember only not to sleep in reality when they put out the light. Semion. Don't fear, I'll pinch my ears. Tania. Now be wide awake, Semotchka, my sweetheart. Only do everything, and be not afraid. He must sign, you will see. They are coming. (She creeps under tJie sofa.} The Fruits of Culture 131 SCENE XVI. SEMION and TANIA. There enter: GROSSMANN, the PROFESSOR, LEOXID FEDOROVITCH, the FAT LADY, the PHYSICIAN, SACHATOFF, and HER LADYSHIP. SEMIOX is standing by the door. Leonid Fedorovitch. All unbelievers are sol- emnly invited ! Although our medium is new, and here only by accident, nonetheless I look for very remarkable manifestations to-day. Sachatoff. Interesting, most interesting. Fat Lady (pointing to Semioii). Mais il est tres-bien. Her Ladyship. Great heavens, a kitchen boy, yes, but . . . SacJiatoff. Women never believe in what their husbands do. They do not even recog- nize it ! Her LadysJiip. Of course not. In Kapt- chitch, I admit, there is something special ; but God knows what this is ! Fat Lady. No, no, pardon me, Anna Pav- lovna, that is not to be solved so simply. When I was still a girl, I had a remarkable dream. You know there are dreams of which one does not know when they begin, when they end, and such a dream I had . 132 The Fruits of Culture SCENE XVII. The Same. VASSILI LEONIDITCH and PETRISTCHEFF enter. Fat Lady. And through this dream much was revealed unto me. Now-a-days these young people (she points to PetristcJieff and Vassili LeoniditcJi) deny just everything. Vassili LeoniditcJi. By no means, I assure you I deny nothing. Eh ? SCENE XVIII. The Same. BKTSV and MARIA KONSTANTINOVNA enter, and begin a conversation -with PETRISTCHEFF. Fat'Lady. How can we deny the supernatu- ral ? They say it is incompatible with human reason. But reason may be dull, how is it then ? Did we not have spirit manifestations every evening on Garden Street ? You have surely heard about it ? The son of my aunt . what do we say now for cousin ? . . . I always forget these new expressions he went 'there three nights in succession, and did not see any- thing anyway, therefore I say . . . Leonid Fedorovitch. Who of the company will remain here ? Fat Lady. I, I ! ' The Fruits of Culture 133 Sachatoff. I ! Her Ladysliip (to the physician}. Will you really remain here ? Physician. Yes, one must at least for once see what it is that Alexei Vladimirovitch finds in the matter. To deny without disproof won't do either. Her Ladyship. The treatment is then by all means to be resumed this evening ? Physician. What is to be resumed ? Ah, yes, resume taking the powders. Yes, just take them. Yes, yes, just take them. I will also come. Her Ladyship. Please. (Loud.} When you are through, messieurs et mesdamcs, I invite you to my room in order to recover yourselves from the emotion ; we can also finish our game. Fat Lady. Certainly. Sachatoff. Yes, yes ! (Exit HER LADYSHIP.) SCENE XIX. The Same except HER LADYSHIP. Betsy (to Petristcheff}. I tell you, stay! I promise you something extraordinary. Will you wager with me ? 134 The Fruits of Culture Maria Konstantinovna. Do you believe in it then ? Betsy. To-day I believe. Maria Konstantinovna (to Petristcheff], And do you believe ? PetristcJieff. Never, never will I trust in alkiring promises. Very well, if Elisaveta Leonidovna commands. Vassili Lconiditch. Let us stay, Maria Kon- stantinovna. Eh ? I want to get off some- thing, cpataut. Maria Konstantinovna. Look out, you must not make me laugh. You know very well I cannot suppress it. Vassili Leoniditch (lottd}. I stay ! Leonid Fcdorovitck (severe). I request the ladies and gentlemen who stay here not to turn this matter into ridicule. It is of a very seri- ous nature. PctristcJicff. Do you hear ? Well then, we will stay. Wowo, sit here, but look out you don't get frightened. Betsy. Yes, you laugh, and you will see what will happen. Vassili Leoniditch. And if it does really happen ! It might become serious ! Eh ? PetristcJieff (trembles). Oo, oo, how fright- The Fruits of Culture 135 ened I am. Maria Konstantinovna, I am afraid. . . . My teet fremble ! Betsy (laughs}. Be quiet ! (All sit down.) Leonid Fedorovitch. Sit down, sit down, gentlemen. Sit down, Semion ! Semion. At your service ! (Sits down on the edge of the chair.} Leonid Fedorovitch. Sit properly. Professor. Sit exactly in the middle of the chair, entirely unconstrained. (He scats Semion properly?) (BETSY, MARIA KONSTANTINOVNA, and VASSILI LEONI- DITCH laugh.) Leonid Fedorovitch (with raised voice). I re- quest the ladies and gentlemen who remain here not to jest, and to take the matter se- riously. It might have unfortunate conse- quences. Wowo, do you hear ? If you cannot sit still, go away ! Vassili Leoniditcli. Peace ! (He hides beJiind the back of the Fat Lady.} Leonid Fedorovitch. Alexei Vladimirovitch, put him to sleep. Professor. No, why should I, when Anton Barissovitch is present ? He is vastly more ex- 136 The Fruits of Culture perienced in this matter and possesses a greater force. Anton Barissovitch ! Grossmann. Ladies and gentlemen ! I am not really a Spiritualist. I have only studied Hypnotism. To be sure, I have studied Hyp- notism in all its known forms. But I am en- tirely ignorant of what is described as Spiritual- ism. From the falling asleep of the subject, I may expect the hypnotic phenomena known to me : lethargy, abulie, anaesthesie, analgie, cata- lepsy, and suggestions of the most varied kind. But it is not these phenomena that are pre- sented to our study here, but others, and there- fore it would be desirable to know in advance the nature of the anticipated phenomena, and what scientific importance they claim. Sachatoff. I fully agree with the views ex- pressed by Mr. Grossmann. Such an explana- tion would be very, very interesting. Leonid Fcdorovitch (to the Professor}. I trust, Alexei Vladimirovitch, you will gladly give us a short explanation. Professor. Cheerfully ; if it is desired, I am willing to give the explanation. (To the phy- sician^) And you will have the goodness to take the temperature and the pulse. My ex- planation will be necessarily cursory and brief. The Fruits of Culture 137 Leonid Fedorovitch. Yes, brief, brief . . . Physician. Directly ! (He takes out the ther- mometer and hands it over.} Well, noble youth ! . . . (Pitts thermometer in his mouth.} Semion. At your service ! Professor (rises, turns tozvards the Fat Lady, and then sits down}. Ladies and gentlemen ! The phenomenon that we are to study is usually represented by the one party as some- thing new, by the other as something tran- scending natural relations. Neither the one nor the other is justified. This phenomenon is not new, but as old as the world ; nor is it supernatural, it is on the contrary subject to the same eternal laws which all created things obey. This phenomenon is usually defined a the communion with the spirit world. This definition is not exact. According to this defi- nition the spirit world is opposed to the world of phenomena, but without any justification. There is no such antithesis. There is such a close contact between the two worlds that it is quite impossible to draw the boundary line that separates the one from the other. We say : matter is composed of molecules . . . Petristcheff. Tiresome matter ! (Whispering, laughing?) 138 The Fruits of Culture Professor (stops, tftcn continues}. The mole- cules of atoms, but the atoms have no exten- sion and are essentially nothing else than cen- tres of force. That is, to express it more pre- cisely, not force, but energy the energy which is something just as specific and inde- structible as matter. But as there is only one matter, however varied its forms, so also with energy. Until very recently we knew of but four forms of energy, each of which was con- vertible into the other. We knew of dynami- cal, thermal, electrical, and chemical energy. But the four forms of energy do not by any means comprise the entire multiplicity of its manifestations. The manifestations of energy are multiform, and it is one of these new but little known forms of energy which we are to study. I refer to the energy of mediumisjn. (Again whispering and laughing from the corner where the young people are sitting?) Professor (stops, looks around severely, and continues). Reports of mediumistic energy come down to mankind from ancient times. Prophecies, forebodings, visions, and many other phenomena are nothing but manifesta- tions of mediumistic energy. The phenomena 1'Jic Fruits of Culture 139 it produces are known from antiquity. But the energy itself was not recognized as such until recent times, so long as the 'sphere was not recognized whose undulations cause the medi- umistic phenomena. As the phenomena of light were inexplicable so long as the presence of an imponderable substance, ether, was not recognized, so also the mediumistic phenomena remained a mystery to us before the now indis- putable truth was established that there is a still finer imponderable substance between the particles of the ether which is not subject to the law of the three dimensions. . . . {Again whispering, laughing, and squeaking.} Professor (again looks around severely). And as the mathematical calculations have indis- putably demonstrated the existence of an im- ponderable ether which produces the phenom- ena of light and electricity, just so a brilliant series of the most reliable experiments by the gifted Herrmann, Schmidt, and Joseph Schmatzhofen have unquestionably demon- strated the reality of a substance which fills the universe and may be described as the spir- itual ether. Fat Lady. Yes, now it is clear to me. How grateful . . . 140 TJie Fruits of C^^ltnre Leonid Fcdorovitch. Yes ; but is it not pos- sible, Alexei Vladimirovitch, to express your- self ... a little rrlore briefly ? Professor (zvithout replying). Thus the laws of the mediumistic phenomena have been set forth by a series of strictly scientific experi- ments and investigations/ as I have had the honor to explain to you. These experiments have taught us that the entrance of certain per- sons into the hypnotic condition, which differs from common sleep only in this, that in the entrance into this sleep physiological action is not only not lowered, but increased, as we have seen above it was established, I say, that the entrance of any subject into this condition nec- essarily produces certain disturbances in the spiritual ether, disturbances which perfectly resemble those produced by the immersion of a hard substance in a fluid. Now these disturb- ances are what we call mediumistic phenom- ena. . . . (Laughing, whispering^) Sachatoff. That is perfectly correct and plain. But allow me one question : if, as you are* pleased to say, the going to sleep of the medium produces disturbances of the spiritual ether, why is it that these disturbances, as is The Fruits of Culture 141 usually assumed at Spiritualistic stances, always take the shape of manifestations of deceased persons ? Professor. That is because the particles of this spiritual ether are nothing but the souls of the living, the dead, and the unborn, so that every agitation of this spiritual ether necessarily produces the familiar movement of its particles. But these particles are nothing else than the souls of men, which enter into communion with one another in consequence of this movement. Fat Lady (to Sachatoff). What is the diffi- culty in comprehending this ? It is very sim- ple ... I thank you, I thank you very much! Leonid FedorovitcJi. Now, I think, everything is plain, and we can begin. Pliysician. The young fellow is in a perfectly normal state. Temperature 99, pulse 74. Professor (takes out his note book and writes). In confirmation of what I have just had the honor to explain I may cite the* circumstance that the falling asleep of the medium will un- doubtedly be accompanied by a rise of the temperature and of the pulse, just as in cases of hypnotism. Leonid Fedorovitch. Yes, yes, pardon me, please, I was only going to answer the question 142 The Fruits of Culture of Sergei Ivanovitch : how we know that the souls of the deceased enter into communica- tion with us. We know it by the fact that the spirit which appears tells us forthwith quite simply as I now tell this tells us forthwith who he is, and why he has come, and where he is staying, and whether all is well with him. At our last stance the Spaniard Don Castilios ap- peared and told us everything. He told us who he was, when he died, that he was suffering tortures because he had taken part in the Inqui- sition. Still more, he told us what was happen- ing to him at the very hour when he was speak- ing to us, and, strange to say, he was to be born again for the earth at the very hour when he was speaking with us, and therefore was obliged to cut short the conversation begun with us. But you shall really see with your own eyes . . . Fat Lady (interrupting). Ah, how interest- ing! Perhaps the Spaniard was born in our house and is now a child. Leonid Fedorovitch. Quite possible ! Professor. I think it is time to begin. Leonid Fedorovitcli. I was only going to say . . . Professor. It is already late.* Leonid FcdororitcJi. Very well, then. Let The Fruits of Culture 143 us begin. Anton Barissovitch, will you have the goodness to put the medium to sleep ? Grossmann. How do you want me to put the subject to sleep ? There are four different ways in use, Braid's method, the Egyptian symbol, the method of Charcot. Leonid Fcdorovitch (to t/te Professor). That is quite immaterial, I think. Professor. There is no difference. Grossmann. Then I will apply my method which I demonstrated at Odessa. Leonid Fcdorovitch. If you please ! (GROSSMANN makes passes over SEMION'S head. SE- MION closes his eyes and stretches himself!) Grossmann (observing). He is falling asleep, he is asleep. A strikingly sudden appearance of hypnosis. The subject clearly is already in the anaesthetic condition. A remarkable, an extraordinarily impressionable subject ; one might make interesting experiments with him ! . . . ( He sits dotun, rises, and sits down again.) Now one might pierce his hand. If you wish . . . Professor (to Leonid Fedorovitch). Do you notice how the sleep of the medium is affecting Grossmann ? He is beginning to vibrate . . . Leonid Fedorovitch. Yes, yes. Can we put out the light now ? 144 The Fruits of Culture SacJiatoff. But what is the use of darkness? Professor. Darkness ? Darkness is one of the conditions under which the mediumistic energy manifests itself, just as a definite tem- perature is the condition of certain manifesta- tions of chemical or dynamical energy. Leonid Fedorovitch. Not always. To many, among them myself also, they have appeared in light, in broad daylight even. Professor (interrupting}. Is the light to be put out ? Leonid Fedorovitch. Yes, yes. (Puts out the lights?) Ladies and gentlemen, I now bespeak your attention. (TANIA creeps from under the sofa and reaches out for the thread which she has fastened to the candlestick.) PetristcJiejf. Well, how I was amused by the Spaniard ! How in the middle of the conversa- tion piqucr une tetc, as they say he . . . Betsy. Just wait and see what will happen. PetristcJiejf. I fear only one thing that Wowo might break out. Vassili Leoniditch. Shall I ? I'll fire off ... Leonid Fedorovitch. \ Gentlemen, please not to talk ! (Quiet. SEMION licks afinger, passes it over his knuckles, and saws the air.) The Fruits of Culture 145 Leonid Fedorovitch. It flashes ! Do you see how it flashes ! Sachatoff. It flashes ! Yes, yes, I see ; but permit me . . . Fat Lady. Where ? where ? Ah, I did not see it ! There it is ! Ah ! . . . Professor (whispers something to Leonid Fe- dorovitch and points to Grossmann, who is mov- ing to and fro}. Observe how he is vibrating. A double force ! (Again flashing.) Leonid Fedorovitch (to the Professor). That is he ! Sachatoff. Who ? Leonid Fedorovitch. The Greek, Nicolas. That is his flashing. Is it not, Alexei Vladi- mirovitch ? Sachatoff. The Greek, Nicolas, who is he ? Professor. A Greek who was a monk at Byzantium in the time of Constantine, and who has often visited us of late. Fat Lady. But where is he, where is he ? I see nothing. Leonid Fedorovitch. He is not to be seen either. Alexei Vladimirovitch, he is always particularly friendly towards you. Question him ! 146 The Fruits of Culture Professor (in a peculiar voice). Nicolas ! Is that you ? (TANIA raps twice against the wall.) Leonid Fedorovitch (exultant). It is he ! It is he ! Fat Lady. Hu, hu ! I'll go away ! Sachatoff. But why is it supposed that it is he ? Leonid Fedorovitch. It rapped twice. That is an affirmative answer; otherwise he would have kept silent. (Pause. 'Suppressed laughter in the young folks' corner. TANIA drops on the table a lamp-shade, a lead- pencil, and a pen-wiper} Leonid Fedorovitch (whispering). Attention, gentlemen! A lamp-shade! Something else. A lead-pencil ! Alexei Vladimirovitch, a lead- pencil ! Professor. Indeed, indeed ! J am watching both him and Grossmann. Did you notice ? (GrROSSMANN rises and looks at the things that fell on the table.} Sachatoff. Pardon me, pardon me. I should like to convince myself if all this is not done by the medium himself. The Fruits of Culture 147 Leonid Fedorovitch. Do you doubt ? Sit clown beside him then, and hold him fast by the hands. But you may be sure he is asleep. Sachatoff (wants to go; tJic thread which Tania lets down touches his head ; lie collapses terrified}. Y-ye-yes ! Strange ! Strange ! (He goes farther, grasps SEMION by the elbow. SEMION bellows.} Professor (to Leonid FcdorovitcJi). Do you hear how Grossmann's proximity is affecting him ? A new phenomenon, that must be noted. (He runs out and makes a note, then he returns?) Leonid Fcdorovitch. Yes . . . but we must not leave Nicolas without response; we must begin . . . Gross mann (rises, approaches Semi on, lifts his hand, and lets it fall again). Now it would be interesting to produce a contracture. The sub- ject is in a state' of complete hypnosis. Professor (to Leonid FedorovitcJi). You see ? You see ? Grossmann. If you wish . . . Physician. Please, dear friend, do not inter- fere with Alexei Vladimirovitch . . . the thing is now getting serious. 148 The Fruits of Culture Professor. Let him. He is already talking in his sleep. Fat Lady. How glad I am that I decided to stay here ! I am frightened, but nevertheless I am glad ; for I have always told my hus- band, , . . Leonid Fedorovitch. I must request peace. (TANIA draws the thread over the head of the FAT LADY.) Fat Lady. Oo ! Leonid Fedorovitch. What is it ? What is it? Fat Lady. He took hold of my hair. Leonid Fedorovitch (ti'hispering). Do not fear, give him your hand. His hand is always cold ; but I like that. Fat Lady (hides her hands.} Not for anything in the world ! Sachatoff. Yes, strange, strange! Leonid Fedorovitch. He is here, and desires to enter into communication with us. Who would like to ask him a question ? Sachatoff. Permit me to ask. Professor. Have the goodness. Sachatoff. Do I believe, or do I not believe ? (TANIA raps twice.} The Fruits of Culture 149 Professor. An affirmative answer. Sachatoff. Permit me to continue. Have I a ten-rouble note in my pocket ? (TANIA raps many times and draws the thread over SACHATOFF'S head.) Sachatoff. Ah ! ... {He seises tJie thread and breaks it. ) Professor. I should like to request those present not to put indefinite or jesting 'ques- tions. It is disagreeable to him. Sachatoff. No, pardon me, I have a thread in my hand. Leonid FedorovitcJi. A thread ? Hold- it fast. That happens frequently ; not only cotton thread, but also silk cords of ancient times. Sachatoff. Well, but where does this thread come from ? (TANIA throws a pillow at him.) Sachatoff. Pardon me, pardon me, some- thing soft has struck me on the head. Let us have a light here something is passing . . . Professor. We must request you not to dis- turb the manifestations. Fat Lady. For God's sake, do not make any disturbance. I should also like to put a ques- tion ; may I ? 150 TJie Fruits of Culture Leonid Fcdorovitch. Certainly, certainly ! Just ask ! Fat Lady. I should like to consult him con- cerning my stomach. May one do that ? I should like to ask what I am to take : aconite or belladonna ? (Pause. Whispering in the young folks' corner. Sud- denly VASSILI LEONIDITCH cries like an infant : ua, ua ! Laughter. The young ladies and PETRISTCHEFF cover their mouths and noses and run away, breath- ing hard. Fat Lady. Ah ! surely the monk has been born again ? Leonid Fedorovitch (in a rage, whispering in wrat/i). You think of nothing but your non- sense. If you cannot behave decently, then go away! (Exit VASSILI LEONIDITCH.) SCENE XX. LEONID FEDOROVITCH, PROFESSOR, the FAT LADY, SACHATOFF, GROSSMANN, the PHYSICIAN, SEMION, and TANIA. (Darkness. Pause.) Fat Lady. Ah, too bad ! Now one cannot put any more questions. He is born. Leonid Fedorovitch. By no means. That J7ie Fruits of Culture 151 was Wowo's nonsense. He is here. Just ask. Professor. That happens frequently; jests and mockeries of this sort are quite usual. I presume he is still here. Besides, we can ask. Leonid Fedorovitch, will you ? Leonid Fedorovitch. No, please, you. I am in a bad humor. What an annoyance ! Such a want of tact ! . . . Professor. Very well, then. Nicolas ! Are you still here ? (TANIA raps twice and knocks against the bell. SEMION begins to bellow and saw the air with his hands. He seizes SACHATOFF and the PROFESSOR, and chokes them.) Professor. What an unexpected manifesta- tion ! A direct action upon the medium him- self. That is unprecedented. Leonid Fedoro- vitch, will you take the observations ; I don't feel well. He is choking me. Keep a strict watch on Grossmann ! Now's the time to keep a bright lookout. (TANIA throws the document of the peasants on the table^ Leonid Fedorovitch. Something has fallen on the table. 152 The Fruits of Culture Professor. See what it is. Leonid Fedorovitch. A paper, a folded sheet of paper! (TANIA throws a traveller's inkstand.} Leonid Fedorovitch. An inkstand ! (TANIA throws a pen.) Leonid Fedorovitch. A pen ! (SEMION keeps on bellowing and choking.') Professor (strangling). Pardon me, pardon me, an entirely new phenomenon, it is not the produced mediumistic energy, but the medium himself that is in action. Do open the ink- stand and place the pen on the paper ; he wishes to write, he surely wishes to write. (TANIA steals up behind- LEONID FEDOROVITCH and strikes him on the head with the guitar.) Leonid Fedorovitch. He struck me on the head ! (He looks on the table.) The pen does not yet write, and the paper is still folded to- gether. Professor. See what the paper contains. Quick, quick. Clearly the double force of him and Grossmann is causing disturbances. Leonid Fedorovitch (takes the paper out of tJie The Fruits of Culture 153 room and returns presently). Extraordinary ! This paper is the contract with the peasants which I refused to sign this morning and gave back to the peasants. It is likely lie wants me to sign it. Professor. Of course ! Of course ! Just ask him. Leonid Fedorovitch. Nicolas ! Do you wish (TANIA raps twice.) Professor. Do you hear ? Evidently, evi- dently ! (LEONID FEDOROVITCH takes the pen and leaves the room. TANIA raps, plays on the guitar and the harmonica, and creeps back under the sofa. LEO- NID FEDOROVITCH returns SEMION stretches him- self and expectorates?) Leonid Fedorovitch, He is waking up. We can light the candles. Professor (hastily). Doctor, doctor, please, the temperature and the pulse. You will pres- ently note a rise. Leonid Fedorovitch (lights the candles). How now, incredulous ladies and gentlemen ? Physician (approaches Semion and inserts the thermometer}. Well, noble youth ! Slept well ? Take this into your mouth, and give me your hand. (Looks at his watch.}' 154 77