iiaSsjiiSuSte-'S.™^- W' \ y of Califorij jrn Regional] ,ry Facility / #- fSm jfe"_. ' •!> v;HV/^;' ' ■ ^L^^r ^^^^^> ^^^^^^ ^&--' 5 /:v 3S THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES t' ^ THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. The Career of Claudia, BY FRANCES MARY PEARD, AUTHOR OF THE ROSE GARDEN," "NEAR NEIGHBOURS," " AN INTERLOPER," ETC LONDON : RICHARD BENTLEY & SON, PUBLISHERS IN ORDINARY to HER MAJESTY. {Ail 7-is:hts reserz'ed.) I897. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. CHAPTER I. HE was, it must be owned, rather surprised that no one had come to meet her at the station. Certainly she had assured them in her last letter that it was unnecessary, and that she could manage very well by herself; but, in spite of as- surances, she had hardly expected to be taken at her word, and when the train stopped, looked questioningly up and down the platform for the faces of her cousins. No one, however, whom she had ever seen before, presented herself, and Claudia found that she was thrust upon her own resources. They were fully equal to the strain, the r-v*a,--Nrf-> ■ ^\ THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. arrival offered no difficulty and required no assistance ; it was merely that she had pictured its causing some thrill of excite- ment in her new home, since it is not every day that a young cousin, so much in advance of the world, as she could not help believing herself to be, comes to live with three elderly, and, therefore, from sheer necessity of circumstance, commonplace sisters. Put into words the thought smacks of conceit, but nothing would have shocked Claudia more than to have seen it in words : it was not even sufficiently formed to deserve to be called a thought, and was, rather, a vague impression, a shadowy groundwork for the surprise. Still, it existed sufficiently to impel her to look out of the window of the fly, after having assured herself that her bicycle was safe, and to wonder whether, even yet, some unpunctual feminine figure might not be seen hurrying along the street, all excuses and welcome. She looked also critically at the rows of houses on either side, such as are common enough in every country town, and at the grey towers of the cathedral rising beyond the roofs. Roads branched THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. away, she passed a church, defiant in the ugliness of some sixty years ago, the rows of houses changed to long walls with tall trees feathering over them, and at last the fly turned at an iron gate, and drove towards a white house, with a door set squarely on the western side, and a blaze of colour about it which Claudia dismissed with contempt as " bedding-out stuff." It was likely, she felt, that the door would be hospitably open, and an expectant flutter of draperies prove that she was eagerly watched for ; when nothing of the sort was visible, Claudia philosophically withdrew her head, convinced that urgent engagements stood in the way of her cousins' welcome, and, although still surprised, she was not in the least affronted. The few moments which remained she spent in a flying wonder as to what her future life would be like, if wonder is not too strong a word, for to herself she had pictured it as clearly as she ever pictured anything, being a young woman who held that definite outlines savoured of Philistinism, and that in order to receive impressions truthfully, the mind should be in the THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. condition of blottino-paper. She wished to begin her new Hfe in this recipient state, and she piqued herself upon her powers of adaptation, which, to say the truth, had not as yet been much exercised. Possibly it was to prove their strength that she had chosen to run counter to the prognostications of the world — her world — and when her mother died, and a dozen relations opened their doors to receive her, at the end of a year which she spent at a college, preferred to write to the three sisters who had made no sign, and ask them to admit her into their home — for the present. She was careful to make that reservation. Claudia took this step from choice, not from disgust, feeling nothing but kindliness in the opening of the dozen doors, to her and her fortune. She flattered herself that she was a cynic, but her nature w^as really frankly unsuspicious, and, finding no diffi- culty in believing that her society might add a pleasantness to life, it did not surprise her that her relations should wish to enjoy it. But something — it is difficult to say what — drew her imagination to fasten upon the prosaic aspect of the three cousins, living THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. in a remote coiint}^ near a quiet cathedral city. She had reasons for the step which she considered sufficient, but perhaps it was the very prose of the situation which chiefly attracted her, for she loved poetry so pas- sionately that she would be certain to do prosaic things. The fly stopped, and the bell was rung, without a head appearing at either window, and though the maid who opened the door looked agreeably expectant, it appeared that neither of the Miss Cartwrights was at home. Miss Philippa, however, had left a message that if she were not in she hoped to be back very shortly, and Miss Hamilton must have tea without waiting. Claudia accordingly went through the hall into the drawing-room, smiling, but a little disappointed that the house in which she found herself was not more like what she had expected, a home in which she might have worked a beneficent revolution. There was a good-sized, if rather dark, hall, hung with fine prints, and the drawing-room was almost too bright and cheerful. Flowers, books, and china, she might have expected, but there was grouping on which her eye THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. fell with some surprise. She reflected with a sigh for which she might have found it difficult to account, that fashion now pene- trated everywhere. Then she sat down in an extremely easy chair, took off her hat, took up a book, and waited. Seen thus, Claudia's beauty was more strikincr than when the hat hid a small dark head, and to some extent shadowed eyes which were at once sweet and eao-er. Her nose was rather piquante than classical, and her cheek had a charming dimpled round- ness. Her figure was both small and slight, and her clothes fitted admirably. Altogether, when Philippa Cartwright came hurriedly in, her eyes fell upon a pretty picture of a young girl lying in a deep chair, her dark hair flung into strong relief by the red silk cushion in which it was buried, and on which slanted the rays of an afternoon sun. " My dear Claudia," she exclaimed, " how inhospitable you must think us ! And why didn't you have your tea ? I told Jane to insist upon it. Anne and Emily are in the town with Harry Hilton, and I intended to have been at home long ago. I might have known better. But you shall have tea at THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. once. Here it comes, and plenty of scones, I hope. Sugar ? " " Please. But let me pour it out," said the girl, pleasantly. *' I dare say you are much more tired than I am." Miss Philippa laughed. " I } Oh, I am never tired," she said. " I haven't the time. Let me see, Claudia, I quite forget if you know our country ? " " Not at all. And I thought it lovely as I came along, though one couldn't say much for the farming." Her voice changed, and she said more shyly, " It is very good of you to have me in this way." " Well, it is simply an experiment on either side," returned her cousin, giving her a comprehensive look. " We don't in the least know whether you will be able to do with us, and of course it will take you a little time to discover, so that no one is to feel at all bound in the matter. That is my one stipulation. And we have agreed that from the very beginning — unless you dislike it — you are not to be treated as a visitor, but as if you lived here, and had all the independence of home. I began, you see, by coming back too late to receive you," 8 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. added Miss Philippa, with twinkling eyes. " Otherwise it doesn't seem to me as if you could judge fairly whether you like the position or not. What do you think about it ? " Claudia was looking straight at her and evidently considering, " Yes," she said, with a little nod, " I agree with you. There is a good deal I have to explain, but that can wait. Yes. That will leave us freedom on both sides, for I warn you, you are very likely to dis- approve of me. I hardly liked to use the word experiment, but I should have had to get at it somehow. You see, my sympathies are very much with what I suppose you call the new woman." "When you're my age, my dear," said Philippa, bluntly, " you will have discovered that there's nothinc: new under the sun. However, you can be as new as you like here, and you will charm Emil)- — so long as you don't consider it a part of your mission to call for brandies and sodas. She is a blue-ribboner, and so is Jane, the parlour- maid." Claudia detected ridicule, and flushed. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " I think teetotalers are extraordinarily ill-balanced, though I respect them," she returned stiffly. " Yes, please respect them," said Philippa, with a laugh. " Now, will you come to your room ,'* " Claudia got up and went to the window. She turned with eager excitement. " A river ! Is that really a river ? Oh, delightful I " "Yes, we can provide you v;ith that, and it is a very tidy river for fish, I believe — at least Harry Hilton says so," said her cousin, following her. "He will be able to tell you more about it." " Oh, I don't care about fishing," the girl said hastily. " I was thinking of its capabilities, and how splendidly one can utilize them." " Its capabilities ? " repeated Philippa, puzzled. " Well, whatever they are, your window commands them, for we have given you the south room on account of the view, otherwise there is a larger one to the west. But come and see for yourself, for if you prefer the other, it is quite easy to change. Jane will help you to unpack." lO THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " No, thank you " — Claudia spoke firmly — " I like to do everything for myself." "Well, you know best, only don't crowd your experiments. Here is your room," went on Miss Cartwright, opening a door at the end of a passage ; " your room, that is, unless you like the other better. I hope they have brought up all your things. Dinner is at seven, because Emily has a meetine to-nieht. You will have to accommodate yourself to meetings. By the way, Harry Hilton is staying with us, and he says he once met you at the Grants'." " I dare say," returned Claudia, indif- ferently. " I don't remember." "Well, he is a cousin on the other side of the house, one of the Hiltons of Thorn- bury, you know — or perhaps you don't know — and is here a good deal — on and off. Now I will leave you in peace." She was gone, and Claudia, barely glancing at her pretty room, sat down on the window seat, and stared enthusiastically at the strip of silver \\ distinctly on her ears. " I must not conceal from you," he said, "that his condition is very grave." THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. l6l CHAPTER X. WRITER has said, and with truth, that while a woman expects her friends to belong, as it were, to her whole life, and to adapt themselves to its many- sides, a man, instead of desiring such uni- versal sympathy, keeps his friends each on his own ground, and would be disgusted if either attempted to poach on the other. He may have thus a club friend, and a sporting friend, an antipodean and a corre- sponding friend, and such and such only they remain, while the sporting friend has never written him a letter in his life, and the antipodean would scarcely find a word to say if they met in Pall Mall. And this differing view of friendship makes difficulties between man and woman. Harry Hilton and Arthur Fenwick had been school friends, and there had remained, II l62 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. for as men they had little in common, and professed to find as little. Still the tie, such as it was, would last always, and Harry was a eood deal shocked to hear of the acci- dent, quite irrespectively of its bearing upon Claudia. He went over to Huntingdon Hall the next day, and Claudia, who forced her- self to do her work, but broke off at intervals to hear the last report, met him near the house. She was so glad to see him that she forgot the past, and greeted him with her old ease. But he was shocked at her appearance. " Oh, that's nothing ! " she said, trying to speak lightly. " We are all having a bad time, and as I was the wretched cause, of course, in some ways, mine is the worst. What have you heard ? " " Only the fact that Fenwick was thrown under a cart. Why should you take the blame ? " " Because it was my folly. I would race down a hill, the cart cut across at the bottom, and I should have been under it if he had not pushed me on one side. He couldn't get out of the way himself." She shuddered. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 63 o " Oh, well," said Harry, instinctively try- ine to comfort her, " it was an accident which might have happened to any one. I'm only thankful he did push you." " I'm not," she said, frowning with the pain of remembrance. They walked on in silence. " How is he ?" said Harry suddenly. Claudia's hands knotted themselves. "Very ill." " His leg is broken, isn't it ? " " Yes, but not badly. They fear other injuries. A second doctor comes to-night, and Mrs. Leslie — his sister." Harry's hopefulness asserted itself against her dreary tone. " It mayn't be as bad as they think. I know Fenwick better than they, and he's a tough fellow. He'll come round, you'll see ! " A smile dawned on her face. " Do you really think so, or are you only — saying it ? " " Honour bright, I think so. You see, as I said, I know him, and they don't." He added with more effort, " Don't worry so much over it." She turned frankly towards him, and drew a deep breath. 164 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " Perhaps you're right. At any rate, I'm very glad you came, for there was no one I could speak to, freely. Sir Peter is in his study, and Lady Wilmot makes too light of it, and as for Lady Bodmin, she's hateful." "Yes, then Fm very glad I came," said Harry manfully. He was not clever, but he had that gift of helpfulness which makes the man or woman who possesses it a tower of strength to their friends. Everything looked brighter to Claudia, and she cast no reflection at what it cost him to walk by her side and feel convinced that all her thoughts were centred upon Fenwick. He owned with a sigh that it could hardly have been otherwise. Lady Wilmot insisted upon his remaining to luncheon, and Sir Peter welcomed him warmly. A more hopeful spirit seemed to have sprung up with his advent, yet the accounts of Fenwick remained alarming enough. " We've sent for Gertrude Leslie. Peter would have it, but it's a great bore," said Lady Wilmot, making a face. " She has all poor Arthur's faults and none of his THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 65 charm. However ! She hates nursing, so perhaps she won't stay." " Oh, she won't stay when she sees he's better," Harry agreed. " If he does get better," remarked Lady Bodmin, looking pointedly at Claudia. " Of course he will," said Harry, with decision. " What I expect is that he's having a touch of the fever he picked up in India, and that your doctor doesn't know about it, and is puzzled. How are your improvements getting on here, Miss Hamilton ? " he went on cheerily. " My mother insists upon every one going to look at that view of the Marldon hills which you opened out for us, and my father is awfully pleased, because he says his father used to talk about seeing them when he was a boy, and he'd forgotten." She flung him a grateful look. "We're going to rival you, but not just yet," said Sir Peter. " We've got to take it on trust for some time. What I admire in Miss Hamilton is the determination she shows." Claudia was wishing that she had stuck to her work, and taken no holiday, but she l66 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. owned with relief that Harry had made things brighter, and flung a ray of hope upon the situation. She liked him ex- tremely, and flattered herself that he had forgotten that stupid slip of his which had vexed her so much, and obliged her to speak severely. But the past weeks had sufficiently shaken her sense of security to make her or]ad that when Sir Peter suggested a walk to the Black Pond, that Harry might see what she proposed doing, he came himself, and brought Charlie Carter. It was the spot she liked best at Hunt- inofdon. The fine firs which, flinorino- their sullen shadows on the water, had given it its name, now stood out, bold and black, and free from cramping surroundings. Claudia had cleared with an unsparing hand, and with good results. Long grass and rushes fringed the water's edge, the moor- fowl's haunt, and on a still day the clear reflections doubled each green blade, while the great stems of the firs sprang up clean and straight and strong as columns. A little boathouse stood, picturesquely shadowed, and Charlie had got out the boat before THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 6/ any one saw what he was doing, and insisted on pulHng them round the Pond. Harry- took the other oar, Sir Peter steered, and Claudia sat looking round her, as the others supposed, with an eye to effects. She did, indeed, honestly try to call them up. But her work had suddenly become, if not dis- tasteful, at least a labour, so that instead of the enthusiasm which used to possess her, as some thought, unduly, it required whip and scouro^e to hold her to it at all. And as they rowed along, through an opening in the trees, the house stood out distinctly, and, with the house, Fenwick's open window. Her eye fell upon it, and remained. She recollected how one day when she was planning and arranging, she had seen him coming along, striding through brake fern, and evidently in pursuit of her, and how she had slipped behind a trunk and so baffled his search. It was one of those little re- membrances which circumstances may arm with a sting. What would she not have given to have seen him coming now! Tears, remorseful tears, gathered in her eyes, and as she glanced hastily at her companions she was sure that Harry Hilton had surprised 1 68 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. them. She, on her part, had surprised the look which she dreaded, and when they parted, her good-bye was wanting in the frank friendliness which had marked her greeting. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 69 i CHAPTER XL HE second doctor came, and his opinion was, on the whole, less unsatisfactory. He allowed that there was reason for alarm, and that some of the symptoms were per- plexing, but with great care he thought it possible that a day or two might bring im- provement. Mrs. Leslie also arrived, and took prompt command, although she was careful to let her hosts understand that she had left home at great inconvenience to herself. " Such nonsense ! " said Lady Wilmot to Claudia. " The great inconvenience means that she has been obliged to throw up one or two engagements. Fm sure her husband, poor man, must be grateful to us for giving him a little time in which he may call his soul his own." Claudia looked white and worried. Her I/O THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. fears had returned upon her, and she could not laugh lightly as Lady Wilmot seemed able to laugh, even when things were at their worst. Imagination often paints in stronger colours than reality ; she had not seen Fenwick, and pictured him more suffer- ing than was the case. Besides, she had just heard that the doctors could express no decided opinion for two or three days, a time which to her restlessness seemed unendurable. She looked blankly at Lady Wilmot, not at first realizing who she was talking about. " Oh, Mrs. Leslie," she said at last, forcing back her attention, " isn't she like her brother ? " " Dreadfully. But what in a man is a nice peremptory manner, is simply odious in a woman. I wondered you didn't rend her when she talked to you in that way, and asked all those questions. And I wished you hadn't said that it was your fault." " It was." " It wasn't. It was the County Council's, or whoever it is who ought to see after our roads. Arthur said so himself, and he THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 171 wanted of all things to know if you were hurt." " He is very kind," said Claudia coldly. She hated herself for minding anything at a time when anxiety held them all, but from behind Lady Wilmot's good-natured con- solations it appeared to her that she detected a smile of triumph peeping out. " See what I told you ! " it seemed to say, " see what he has done, and deny now, if you dare, that he cares for you ! " With that " Claudia ! " ringing in her ears, how could she deny it, even to herself ? If no other result came from the whirl of inward questioning, it had no doubt the effect of fixing her thoughts very closely upon Captain Fenwick. Minutes — hours — crawled by. Claudia lived upon the crumbs which were flung to her, not daring to ask for them in larger quantities. Charlie Carter departed, and she missed him because, thoucjh casual in his answers, he was sure to know what was going on in the house, and sometimes im- parted his knowledge. Then she fell to working feverishly again, keeping out of doors half the day. But wherever she was, 172 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. she contrived with few and short intervals, to have the house in view, and with the house, Fenwick's window. Sometimes a white -aproned figure — the nurse — would stand there, looking out, and once when she drew down the blind to shut out the glare, Claudia went through a sudden and agonizing dread. She stood staring, deaf to one of the workmen who had advanced to inquire about a particular order, and watchinof the other windows to see whether the too-significant sign were repeated in them. It was on this day that when she came down to dinner she found that Fenwick had been for some hours making steady improvement, and that all were hopeful. From this time, indeed, he improved steadily, and Lady Wilmot announced with some glee that he was only anxious to get rid of Mrs. Leslie. " They're too much alike. They irritate each other." " I would back Arthur's will against most O people's," said Sir Peter quietly. " Oh yes, and generally she has to knock under, but now, now that he is ill, she gets him at a disadvantage, and it is rather comic. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA, 1 73 However, she goes to-morrow, and then, as soon as he can be moved into my boudoir, we must all set to work to make it pleasant for him." And she flung a queer look at Claudia. Claudia herself, in spite of the comparative lifting of the load, was finding the decisions of life not quite so simple a matter as she had imaorined. Fenwick was better, no doubt, but there was still talk which made her uneasy. And though she would gladly have gone off, her work was unfinished, and there seemed less excuse for a hurried de- parture than before. The Wilmots might not unnaturally wonder why she went. What could she say ? What excuse could she offer ? What excuse, at any rate, which Lady Wilmot's sharp eyes would not see through ? She must wait, hoping earnestly that she might find an opportunity for leaving before she was called upon to take her turn in amusins^ the invalid's con- valescence. Meanwhile, when she glanced at Fenwick's window, which was often, she pictured a much more dismal interior than facts warranted. If it had not been that the monotony of illness 174 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. must be always irksome to an active man, Fenwick woukl have allowed that he was well off in a pleasant room, with every luxury in papers, books, flowers, and a cheerful selection of visitors to wile away the time. " It's better, anyway, than grilling in India, with fever on you, the temperature anything you like and a little more, and the punkah gone to sleep," he admitted one day when Sir Peter had left his wife to the not un- congenial task of raising her cousin's spirits, which happened to be rather depressed. " Thank you," she said politely. " Well, isn't it ? " he returned, glancing at her. " I don't know. But I prefer gratitude not altogether expressed in negatives." "You know what I mean," he said rather sulkily. " How much longer am I going to be tied by the leg ? " Lady Wilmot was a born matchmaker. Her eyes began to sparkle. " Never mind. I'm certain she's thinking of you a great deal." " That's nothing," he returned, in the same tone. " It's her way to take things violently. But if I'm only a weight on her conscience, THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. I 75 as soon as I'm all right again, she'll fling me off." His cousin buried her head cosily in a soft silk cushion. " I wish you'd tell me seriously, Arthur, whether you really mean it ? " " Of course I do." "You always say of course — each time." " Well, this time I've broken my leg over it. I couldn't do more, could I ? " " No — o — o," replied Lady "VVilmot doubt- fully. " I know the symptoms, as you infer, and I assure you I never had them so strongly before." " You used to tell me that." "They weren't to compare. One lives and learns." "You looked wretched enough," said Lady Wilmot, sitting up indignantly. " I'm sure I never saw such a contrast as between you and Peter at the wedding. Every one noticed it." "It didn't last. Look at us now. Peter — Peter is getting — well, let us call it broad I say, hands up ! Don't pitch thincrs at a man that's down." " I wonder your illness hasn't made you 176 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. more truthful ! What will you say next about Peter ? " " I don't want to talk of him at all. He doesn't interest me." " Shall I call the nurse ? " inquired Lady Wilmot, rising with dignity, ** No, no ; sit down, and tell me more about Claudia. It's awful to think how much time I'm w^asting." His cousin settled herself once more against the cushion, took up one of the pugs, and smiled in token of forgiveness. " I'm not so sure," she said doubtfully. " Pity ? " " And remorse. You see, Charlie Carter was for ever dinning into her that it was all her fault." " It wasn't, really," said Fenwick, hastily. " I can't exactly explain." " Oh, I can ! I've felt all along that she was trying to avoid a crisis. You're so dreadfully impetuous." " I like that ! If I had only chosen to be impetuous, as you call it, Peter would have been nowhere." *' Perhaps, if you're expecting me to help you, you'll condescend to talk sense." THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 77 " Oh, you'll help ; you're dyhig to be at it." She vouchsafed no reply. " I'll tell you one thing you can do," he said eagerly. "If you really believe she's feeling a bit sentimental over my spill " Lady Wilmot was playing with her pug's ears. She interrupted sweetly — " I think she feels the injury to your bicycle very much." " That's all the same thing. Then, what- ever happens, don't let her go till I'm about again, or stretched on a sofa, or something effective. Let her fuss about with the trees as much as she likes." " She can fuss, of course. But she has said a few words which make me think she wants to be off, and I'm not sure whether " " Whether ? " " If she sticks on here, whether she mayn't find her remorse just a little boring ? " " No, no, she mustn't ; it will grow for being fed upon. Look here, Flo, don't make me out too well." " I don't think you're very ill." " I'm recovering gradually, only gradually. The least disturbance may throw me back," 12 178 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA, "Oh!" " And meanwhile I'll harry Spooner till he lets me be carried into your sanctum. What's the good of all their carrying dodges if they don't use them ? " Lady Wilmot put down the pug, rose up, and glanced mischievously at her cousin. " Well, I hope you really mean it this time. Remember Helen Arbuthnot." "If you talk about remembering," began Fenwick boldly. She was gone. It must have been this conversation which made Lady Wilmot after luncheon walk with Claudia towards the Black Pond, and become enthusiastic in her praises of what had been done. " We are so delio^hted ! " she said. " Of course Peter thinks about the estate and all that kind of thing, but I think of Marjory. It's such a comfort to feel that by the time she grows up, she'll have a decent-looking place of her own ready for her, and really my heart sank when I brought her here after poor old Sir Ralph's death." Claudia was pleased, but said quickly — " I shall soon have finished." " Oh no," said Lady Wilmot. " I know THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. I 79 Peter wants your advice about some outlying- things. Why should you go ? You are your own mistress, aren't you ? " With a pang quite new to her, she owned that she was. " And I heard you say you had no other engagement. Then what stands in your way .? Don't say you find us horrid ! " she added, with a gravity which concealed a smile. " Your going would be an awful dis- appointment to poor Arthur." " But he is much better ? " " Better — yes. But I am afraid it must be a long business, and" — she hesitated — " don't you think he deserves a little reward V The girl winced and grew pale. As Fen- wick said, she took things violently, she was at an age when she unconsciously exag- gerated her own importance in the world, and it seemed to her as if all manner of tremendous issues hung upon her answer. Besides, up to now, since the accident Lady Wllmot had not dropped such a hint. Her heart beat too fast for her to speak. At last she turned a white face upon her com- panion. " I don't know," she said vaguely. I So THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. Lady Wilmot drew her face towards her and kissed her. " Stay ! " she said Hghtly. "Very well," returned Claudia, drawing a deep breath. For in that moment she renounced all — freedom, ambition — something within her whispering persistently that if she stayed it would be to become Arthur Fenwick's wife. Her thoughts were sufficiently in a whirl for her not to know whether the conviction brought delight or terror, but they had fastened themselves upon him so continuously of late, that quite an unexpected feeling had sprung up in her heart, so that, if she were not in love with himself, she was nearly so with the image she had created. Her very indifference became a wronQf when she re- fleeted that it had caused him such suffering. Lady Wilmot's sympathy was of a light- hearted nature, it was not profound enough to enable her to plunge into depths, but Claudia's was a sufficiently transparent countenance to betray that it cost her a struggle to utter these two words, and if there was a struggle, it probably had to do with more than the mere fact of croinof or THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. l8l Staying. She therefore hastened to encourage her. " I am more than glad," she said smiling. "To-morrow that odious Lady Bodmin — as Peter isn't here I may abuse her — departs, and though the Comyns are due, I am not quite sure that Mr. Comyns and Arthur hit it off very well ; at any rate, I don't think Arthur cares much for either of them. So I particularly want him to have something pleasant to look forward to." Instinctively Claudia turned and faced her. " Will he care ? " She spoke the words scarcely above her breath, and was hardly aware that in a sudden craving for sympathy and counsel she had uttered them. "Will he?" Lady Wilmot laughed out. " If you could have heard him to-day when I told him you had talked of going ! " Claudia walked on silently. The longing had changed to shrinking, and she wished that Lady Wilmot would leave her, but instead of this she ventured on another step. " I assure you," she said, " that Arthur is a dear fellow." " Oh, don't let us talk about him any 1 82 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. more ! " cried the girl with sudden passion. She felt tossed, dragged, buffeted, a very shuttlecock of circumstance, impatient of the insistent tones in which that " Claudia ! " still rang in her ears. Harry Hilton had also uttered her name, but it had not stirred her in the same imperative way, it had not been emphasized so disastrously, or burnt upon her memory. She trembled as she spoke, and Lady Wilmot looked at her with some bewilderment as to the cause of her emotion. She was not quite sure that it boded well. " No, you are right, we won't talk about him any more," she agreed soothingly. " You have promised to stay, and that is all we wanted. I foresee that after all we shall have a good time, and I am so glad, for Arthur has always been my favourite cousin, though he is sometimes tiresome, and I have always tried to help him to what he wanted. It used to be jam out of the housekeeper's closet," she added, with a laugh. The girl would not laugh. " She takes it all so seriously ! " Lady Wilmot explained afterwards to her husband with lieht com- punction. " Dear me, Peter, if I had thought so tremendously about such episodes, you'd THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 83 have married a wreck ! So far as I can remember, I used rather to enjoy them." This was not Claudia's condition. Enjoy- ment ! It was misery ; expectant, frightened, yet entrancing misery, such as she had never pictured to herself. It had been altogether different with Harry Hilton ; she had scarcely thought of him except as a momentarily disturbing incident, and, quite sure that his healthy young face would never pale a shade, no idea of suffering had so much as crossed her mind. She flung him a restless thought now and then, comparing the two men, and certain that all the intellectual advantages were heaped on Fenwick. His natural gifts were varied, and he knew extra- ordinarily well how to make them appear at their best, helped to it by a dominating vanity, at once so strong and sensitive, that it never landed him in ridiculous positions, as may easily be the case with a coarser kind. Claudia, for instance, had never guessed its existence. She thought of him as a shrewd keen man, forgave him some shortness of temper, and liked the touch of roughness he occasionally showed. It had struck her that Miss Arbuthnot cared for him, and that 184 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. he was indifferent, so that his evident attrac- tion for herself flattered her. These were trifles, the real tie lay in his dash to her rescue and consequent suffering. Nothing could have smitten down her spirited in- dependence so completely as the knowledge that he lay helpless owing to what he had done for her ; it was the very thing to make her feel that any sacrifice must be made which could compensate. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 185 CHAPTER XII. ELEN ARBUTHNOT was used to come and go as she liked at Thorn- bury, but it was not very often that she returned within a week of taking leave. She had done so now, making some shght excuse, which for hospitable Mrs. Hilton was unnecessary. The talk often fell upon Fenwick's accident, and she knew that Harry had been to Huntingdon. Ruth Baynes described how an accident, not cer- tainly identical, but still an accident, once befell her eldest nephew. Helen listened in silence until she had Harry alone. " There's no actual danger, is there } " she asked indifferently. " Sir Peter said there was. At least the doctors were at fault." She had followed him into the gun-room, where he was rubbing the stock of a gun. 1 86 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " Then I suppose you'll be going over •\ )) aofain r " Not again. Somebody will write." She tapped the wooden arms of her chair impatiently. "Oh," she exclaimed, "you're the most lukewarm of lovers ! I've no patience with you ! " Can't be helped," he exclaimed, polish- ing laboriously. " It can. Don't you see that it's nothing short of unfeeling to show no anxiety when — when your Claudia has nearly brought her- self and her career to an end ? " " She's all right. Besides, my Claudia, as you call her, isn't mine at all, and doesn't mean to have anything to do with me." " Only because you're so wrong-headed. Didn't I advise you to keep quiet .'*" "Yes." " And now I advise you to move. And you do just the contrary." He had his back turned to her. " Didn't it really ever strike you," he said, " that Fenwick cared } " After a moment's hesitation, she answered with a change of manner and a laugh — THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 87 " Oh, how Hke a man ! When he takes a fancy he thinks every one else must be possessed with it too ! " She ceased, however, to urge him, for good- tempered as he was, he could stick to his point, and she saw that he was resolved not to Sfo aq;ain to Huntinsfdon. He had made this determination partly because he could not see Claudia without disturbance, and his healthy nature objected to the stirring up of emotions which could lead to nothing ; and partly because in spite of Miss Arbuth- not's taunt he was persuaded that Fenwick liked Claudia, and a love of fair play inclined him to keep out of the way at a moment when his rival might be supposed to be at a disadvantage. It would not have changed his conduct had he known the truth, that, in his disabled condition, Fenwick, passive, was making such way as he might never have done had he been about as usual. Only Miss Arbuthnot's pertinacity had led to the conversation. She did not renew it, and he was not the man to care to talk of his own feelings. At the end of a few days better news arrived from Huntingdon, and Helen departed as suddenly as she had 1 88 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. come. Then it was that Harry became more restless. Thornbury had too many bitter-sweet recollections, Huntingdon was too easily within reach, at Elmslie he might hear somcthintr of Claudia, and at Elmslie he would meet with Anne Cartwright's tender sympathy, never wanting in tact. At Elmslie, accordingly, he presented himself one day, unannounced, but certain of wel- come. It was Philippa's shrewdness which first discovered that the times were out of joint. " Something has happened," she said to Anne, "and whatever it may be, take my word that Claudia is at the bottom of it." " Why ?" said Anne, startled. " He hasn't talked of her at all." " And that's why," retorted Philippa. " When he left he was on the way to talk a great deal." " Then do you suppose ? " " Yes, I suppose she has refused him, and that you will soon hear more about it. He is much too good for her, but I imagine you can't tell him so ? " " Now you are unfair." Philippa laughed, shrugged her shoulders. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 89 and went off, rattling her keys. Anne, after a momentary hesitation, left the house, and strolled down to the river, where she found Harry smoking, with Vic stretched by his side. Looking at him with keener attention, she saw something in his eyes which told her that her quicker sister's surmise, at least as to his unhappiness, was right. He jumped up, and she put her hand on his arm. " I'm too old for damp grass, but here's the bench which Claudia hated." She added, very kindly, " What is it, Harry .^ " He laughed queerly. " Nothincr out of the common. I've had a spill, and the world is going round a bit — that's all. It'll steady itself by-and-by, no doubt. You can't do anything, Anne, and I'm sure I don't know why I tell you. " Is it Claudia ?" asked Anne unheeding. He nodded. " And ? " She paused. " She didn't give me any hope, and I can't persuade myself that I've the ghost of a chance. Still — I suppose I should feel worse if there wasn't one." He broke off and laughed again. I90 THE CAREER OE CLAUDIA. " She is very young. Oh, I shouldn't despair yet," urged Anne, born consoler. " Don't you think you've been hasty ? " He pulled Vic's soft ears. " Perhaps. I couldn't wait." " Well, as I say, I wouldn't despair. Give her time." " She hasn't said anything herself?" He was thirsting for a word. " No. Indeed, Philippa and I have been puzzled that we have heard nothing from Claudia since she first went to the Wilmots'. We don't want her to feel bound to write, but generally she does. I suppose this ex- plains it." " You know about the accident ? " " Accident ? No," said Anne, with alarm. "Oh, she's all right. But Fenwick, who was with her, got let in rather badly." And he gave her a brief account of the disaster. "Oh, poor child!" cried Anne. "How terrible for her ! That explains, of course, particularly " — she smiled — " because she knows we are old-fashioned enough to be a little shy of bicycles. Come, Harry, it seems to me that you have despaired too soon. Try again, later. Her head is filled with other THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. I9I ideas now, but give her time and she will come round." Irony is apt to follow on the heels of good advice. " I don't know," said Harry slowly. " I haven't quite told you all." She waited. " This other man, who got the chance " " Captain Fenwick ?" "She thinks me a stay-at-home duffer, as I am ; while he — he's a clever chap, and has been about, and can talk of the things she fancies, and — well, it can't be helped ! Look here, Anne, Philippa must really speak to Smith about that hay." If it had been a relief to him to say so much, he was evidently indisposed to say more, and, Anne not being one to force confidences, they talked of indifferent matters, went to see the rick, strolled round the kitchen garden, ate apricots, and were turn- ino- towards the house when a maid came out, bringing a letter. " Oddlv enousfh, this is from Claudia," exclaimed Anne impulsively. The next moment, as she glanced through it, she repented having spoken. 192 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " What's wrong ? " demanded Harry, watching her face. As she hesitated, he added quietly, " You had better tell me." " It is from Claudia." " So you said. Well ? " There was a new peremptoriness in his tone which she recognized. " She writes about what we talked of," she said, with difficulty, and keeping her eyes fixed on the letter. " She — she is engaged to this Captain Fenwick. You may read the letter, if you like," she added more quickly, holding it out to him. He did not take it, and there was a moment's silence. "Thank you," he said, and no more. His voice was hoarse, and she longed to comfort him, not knowing how, and casting about for words. " This accident " He interrupted her. " It's over and done with — we won't talk about it. Can I do anything for you in the town ? " Anne felt with a pang that it was not as in his old boyish troubles, and that the best she could do was to stand aside, and take THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 93 no notice. She went off with her letter to PhiHppa, who was not very sympathetic. " I'm not sorry. Harry will meet with somebody else, somebody, I do hope, with- out a career. Of course he feels it at first, but he'll get over it, oh yes, Anne, I'm hardened enough to think so. Give me the letter. What does she say ? — urn — um — um — 'saved my life at the risk of his own' — that's strong — 'dreadfully hurt — getting better' — I don't see what else she could do — ' stay on here for another week or two before going back to Elmslie.' One thing is certain, Anne, we needn't have had that new carpet for the bedroom." " She doesn't say much," commented Anne. " No, not much. I wonder " 13 194 ^^^" CAREER OF CLAUDIA. CHAPTER XIII. F the wonder Philippa expressed related to Claudia's own feelings, she need have had no misgivings. In spite of hesi- tation, reluctance, beforehand, in spite of the coldness which stiffened her on the first day that she saw Fenwick in Lady Wilmot's den, she was becoming, daily, shyly, yet radiantly happy. Fenwick's treatment of her was subtly admirable. Her reserves, her pride, raised all his masterful instincts, and perhaps the sudden check to his active physical life inclined him the more to con- centrate his energies upon conquering her love. It gave these energies a field. More than once she would have revolted from the touch of the new emotion ; quivering and startled, she was inclined to fiy, and it needed just the treatment he knew how to apply, to soothe her. The first sight of him. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 1 95 Stretched helpless, had struck at her heart. The readiness with which he tossed aside her stammerinof words of regret made a direct appeal to her own generosity, and day by day the bond tightened. He knew — none better — how to play upon her am- bitions and interests, talked as if they would continue, planned what further opportunities might be hers, let her suppose that here was perfect, satisfying sympathy, until it seemed to her that a delightful confidence had sprung up between them, such a confidence as even the collefje had never afforded. He waited for this, waited until, after some tentative advance and shrinking, it stood strong, and the rest was curiously easy. A few sentences instinct, as he knew how to make them, with all that was both tender and dominant, finished his work ; Claudia was his almost before she realized that she had yielded, before Lady Wilmot, who was flitting in and out, could frame a tidy excuse for leaving the two alone. And it was extremely simple. Fenwick looked into her eyes, and thought them charming ; she, trying to meet his with her usual frank directness, faltered, and could not face them. 196 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. Then he whispered three words, and she made a mute sign, eloquent in its vagueness. No collapse could have been more complete, nothing could have been more unlike the manner in which she resolved to go through such a scene when, like other girls, she had rehearsed its possibilities. Claudia had always supposed that she should marry, and, when the moment came, intended to speak decidedly, very decidedly, to her lover, and let him make his choice ; either take her with the understandinof that she would stick to her profession, and accept whatever ties it imposed, or not take her at all. It is true that she almost invariably pictured him as yielding, but she meant to be dig- nified and quite firm ; reflecting with con- tempt that the old ways of love-making were altogether unsuitable to the new girl, who was made of different stuff. And this was the result ! Nothing, as she had to own, could have been less impressive than the figure she had cut ; nothing more commonplace than the words spoken, except that she had a saving conviction that no on'e had ever spoken them with Fen wick's strength, and this made a THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 197 difference. Indeed, although she was obliged to own that she had failed, the fact did not seem to trouble her. She looked in the glass, and smiled at her own dimpling face, rememberine what he had said ; and recol- lectinof further that she had heard him re- mark that he liked a particular shade of yellow, sat down and wrote to London for an evening frock of that colour. As for the obnoxious pocket-book, it remained where it had been laid the day before. When she was alone, or with Fenwick, Claudia's happiness was like herself, eager and brilliant, for all happiness takes its colouring from the person it touches. With others she was not altogether at her ease, having an unacknowledged suspicion that Lady Wilmot was smiling in her sleeve, as indeed she was, and broadly. " Because it is so amusingly unexpected," she informed her husband. " No two persons could be more unsuited to each other." Sir Peter twinkled. " Is that recommendation likely to last ? " " She was so very indifferent, so very much swallowed up by her own ideas," pursued 198 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. his wife, unheeding; "and Arthur has a way of expecting women to flutter round him, and be flattered when he speaks. Oh, he's a very good fellow, but that's his little weakness, and that's what makes me lau"fh. But I'm really extremely glad. It's much better for him than marrying a woman like — well, for instance, like Helen Arbuthnot, all bitter herbs." Sir Peter, who was well aware that his wife was not without her jealousies, let this statement pass uncontradicted, but spoke a word or two as to Claudia. " I suppose she knows her own mind ? She hasn't been talked into it ? " " Talked ! When she was as easy to get at as a prickly pear. What a dear old donkey you are, Peter ! I would have given her all sorts of good advice, and told her a hundred and fifty useful things, but I never had the chance. No. It's very odd, but I can tell exactly what brought it about, and it's only another instance of Arthur's extraordinary luck. You know that day we went to Barton Towers ? " " Well ? " "Well, he said somethinq" which startled THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 199 her, and, to stop it, away she dashed down the hill, and then came the smash up." " You call that luck, do you ? " " Certainly," said his wife, with dignity. " What's a broken leof or two ? " " No one would mind it, of course." " It will mend up all right, and it made Claudia listen to him. I should hope you would not have objected to breaking both legs on the day you proposed to me." He flicked the ash off his cigar. " Nothing of the sort was necessary," he remarked, " You were too happy." Lady Wilmot sighed. " How little you know ! I've never liked to tell you, but — you're sure you won't mind ? " " Go on." "As it happened, I tossed up." " Tossed up .^ " " You see, there was nothing else to do. I couldn't make up my mind between you and Lord Baliol, so I thought of this plan, and you happened to be heads. I shall tell Marjory about it when she grows up. It's so simple ! " " I dare say. And suppose the wrong man comes up ? " 200 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " Oh, then she needn't pay," explahied Lady Wilmot, escaping with a laugh. " A woman has always that in reserve." It seemed, indeed, as if Fenwick's recovery became extraordinarily, almost suspiciously, rapid. After two or three days' rain the sun shone bravely again, and he was carried out on the lawn. He chose to have Claudia at command, and as she was scrupulously conscientious in wishing to finish her work, she used to be out at the earliest hour possible, planning and arranging, and leaving directions for the woodmen to carry out. Fenwick, on discovering this, declared she looked fagged. " I won't have you do it." " But," she protested, half laughing, half vexed, " it has to be done." " Not it ! I'll talk to Peter. I'm your first consideration." And she yielded. Indeed by a sort of rebound from what Lady Wilmot had called prickliness, she was now extraordinarily yielding, finding it delightful to give up her will to his. Lady Wilmot, who had expected amusement from the situation and was dis- appointed, shook her head, and even went THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 20I SO far as to warn the girl that there was not a man in the world who could bear spoiling. Claudia was indignant. Fenwick drove her in a low pony carriage for the first time that afternoon, and as they went along the lanes she told him. •' Don't let Flo lecture you," he said quickly. " I won't have her interfering." This fell in with her own desires and she agreed happily. She drew a long breath of content as she spoke. All at that moment seemed perfect, and, looking back, she won- dered at nothing so much as her own hesita- tion. The day was bright and touched with keen exhilaration, the road, cut through deep hedges, ran, richly shadowed, up and down hill, and a fresh wind drove the clouds over- head. They passed the blacksmith's forge, and a dog flew barking after them, then they went up, up, up, past white cottages, each standing in its garden, and Fenwick let the reins lie loosely on the pony's back. When they reached the top they stopped. Behind, and on one side, the woods of Huntingdon, gaining dignity by distance, swept down the valley, while in front spread a fair broken view of pasture land running into blue 202 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. Upland, and darkened here and there by veihne cloud. It was Claudia's moment of absolute content, and Fenwick broke it. " I spoke to Spooner to-day about getting away." "What did he say?" " He thinks it's all right, and that I can go soon." "But " She hesitated shyly. Fen- wick bent forward and untwisted a rein without looking at her. " Doesn't he think you ought to keep quiet a little longer ? " " I dare say. But one can't stick in one place for ever." Then, as if he realized that the words might convey a pang, he added quickly, " Of course it's delightful, only I must get back to the camp, where another fellow is howling at having to do my work." " I see," said Claudia, in a low voice. The pang had just touched her, but she would not acknowledge it. " And I have been here an unconscionable time. I shall eo to Elmslie, and if the Wilmots want me again about anything, I can run down later on," " Oh, they won't want you," said Fenwick, dryly. " Well, go to Elmslie for a week or THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 203 two if you think you must, and then come to Aldershot, and stay with Gertrude." " Will she have me ? " He smiled at her. " Won't she ? I believe you'll enjoy the life there immensely." She was quite happy and gay again. " And by that time your leg will be well, and we shall be able to go all over the country on our bicycles." " I think not," he returned rather grimly. " I don't care to see a woman at that work near the camp." " Oh," she cried impetuously, " I thought you were quite above that sort of thing ! " ** Did you ? I'm not, then." His tone was the same, and she hesitated. Then she said more slowly — " You're not afraid for me, are you ^ Of course, when I was so stupid the other day, it was only because — because " \y '\rm not afraid," he said, touching up the pony. " I think you manage it very fairly well. I don't care about it for you — that's all. Except quite in the country." Her dismay was so evident that he turned and looked at her. 204 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " My darlinc^, do you really mind very much ? For my sake ? " " For your sake ? — oh no," faltered Claudia. "It isn't the bicycling, but — I — I thought we should have done so much together, and — do you mean that you have always dis- liked it ? " " I don't object to it in some places, or when it isn't carried to extremes. Besides, there are sure to be occasional opportunities." He had her hand in his, and she could but smile and submit, and resolve that there should be no opposition where he felt so strongly. Perhaps, though he disclaimed it, the accident had left him nervous on her account, and, by-and-by, when he had for- gotten, his dislike would subside. But, to her dismay, she found that many things of which he had hitherto spoken lightly, and, as she thought, approvingly, were not at all to his taste under the altered condition of things. She began to be aware that he was binding her round with small restrictions, pushing her into the very groove against which she had revolted, and, worse than all, ridiculing the revolt itself. He no longer restrained his mockery of her enthusiasms, THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 205 enthusiasms which she had fondly imagined he shared. If she talked politics, Fenwick's face darkened at the opinions she expressed, and he told her in so many words that he did not wish her to allude to professional duties, or even to think about them any more. It is true that these demands were sweetened by the passionate vibrations of the voice in which he told her that he loved her, and at such moments all sacrifice for love seemed joy ; but when she was alone her thoughts were not so restful and satisfied as in the first days. She even began to long for a breathing space at Elmslie, when she would no longer be swept away by his impetuous will, and could, as it were, stand, recover her breath, and face the changed view in which life confronted her. It came at last. Fenwick intended to have taken her himself to Elmslie, but was summoned to Aldershot a day sooner than he expected. And Claudia, Claudia who despised those girls who could not travel alone, was obliged to put up with the guardianship of Lady Wilmot's maid, and to go first class, with her beloved bicycle in the luggage-van. 206 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. CHAPTER XIV. LAUDIA had her breathing space, and at first enjoyed it. Her cousins were kind without being curious ; she could say as httle or as much as she Hked about her engagement, and only Emily, Emily, whose remarks she assured herself she did not mind, so much as hinted at the changed circumstances of her career, for which, as she could not yet forget them herself, she was grateful. Nor, although she heard of Harry Hilton's visit, and, putting two and two together, realized that it coincided with her letter of announcement, could she accuse him of having said anything to prejudice her in her cousins' eyes. She would not have been sorry to find fault with him, but she had to own that he had behaved very well, and there was even a moment when the thought Hashed upon her that, in his hands, THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 20/ her liberties would not have been so circum- scribed as now appeared probable. She drove it indignantly from her. What was Harry by the side of Arthur Fenwick ? On the other hand, Philippa maintained that Claudia was decidedly the better for her eneacfement. She said to Anne — *' She has gained broader views, and is not nearly so self-absorbed. The man must be a man of sense. She does not force her plans for reforming the world down one's throat with such vigour ; indeed, I am almost inclined to doubt whether she now altogether expects to reform the world. That is, indeed, a discovery ! " Anne, kind Anne, smiled and sighed, with thought of Harry. " I do hope that she likes him." " Could he have worked such a miracle if she did not ? " In Claudia's mind there was no doubt. Away from Fenwick, his vigorous personality impressed her the more, and she told herself that his love was such a o-ift as would make a woman gladly give up all that clashed with it. There was something almost pathetic in her anxiety to put away what she had learnt 2o8 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA, to see that he disliked, and, though her strong young nature would always demand outlet for its energies, she hastily accepted what little was common to other girls and other lives about her. Her beloved pocket- book was laid aside, or only looked at surreptitiously, she wrote to the college, renouncing all wish for engagements ; she cut tickets for Emily, took her bicycle into retired roads, never once tried to shock the Dean's wife, and controlled her very hand- writinsf. It was natural enoucfh that after the first welcome breathing space such a life of suppression should soon weary her, and that she began to count the days before she miofht cret her invitation to Aldershot. Once and once only was Harry specially alluded to. " Mr. Hilton has been ill again," Philippa announced, folding a letter. " Poor Harry!" Claudia imagined a reproach. " Why should you call him poor Harry ? " she said shortly. " I never saw any one quite so much his own master. Nobody at Thornbury thinks of contradicting him." " Let Anne enlarge," said Philippa laugh- ing. '* It's her topic." THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 209 " Life has been for him one long contra- diction ! " Anne exclaimed, nothing loth. " I dare say he never told you how his whole mind was set upon being a soldier, and how he got into the very regiment he wanted, and then had to leave on account of his father's illness ? " "No," returned Claudia, slowly; " he never told me." "Then, when Mr. Hilton was better, he had a chance of going out to South Africa, and it was the same thing over again, the scheme completely knocked on the head. No one could know Harry, with his love of sport and roughing it, and suppose for a moment that his home life is what he would choose. But, as he never dreams of com- plaining, his giving up all he cares for is taken as a matter of course." Anne spoke with quite unusual vehemence, and Claudia reddened and did not answer. A month ago, she would have made light of such a tale, but love had already taught her something of its divine power of self-sacrifice, and it touched her. At the same time, by one of the contrarieties of a woman's nature, she felt indignant with Harry because she 14 2IO THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. had been the means of losing him another of life's blessing's. Why had he been so stupid ? He had only to hold his tongue for them to have remained excellent friends. Then she fell to wondering whether, if the same accident had threatened her when Harry was by her side, he would have acted as Fenwick had acted, and was the more vexed to have to own that he could have done nothing else. She wanted, it will be seen, to keep all the glory for her special hero, but the mental training she had re- ceived, would not allow her to make her mind a present to her emotions. They left her, however, restless, and she regretfully decided that Elmslie was dull, and looked impatiently for the invitation to Aldershot. It came quite as quickly as was possible, Fenwick took care of that, and then she — she, Claudia ! — had to wait for an escort, to Philippa's private and unbounded amusement ; for althouoh Fenwick wished her to have a maid, space was too limited in the hut to receive her, and that conces- sion to helpless young ladyhood, as Claudia scornfully called it, had to be postponed until her return. Finally she went off in THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 211 the companionship of two of the Dean's daughters, and Mrs. LesHe's maid was to meet her at the junction where they parted. The bicycle was left behind, and Emily commented — "How odd ! I thought you took it everywhere." Claudia was trying to forget this innocent speech as she whirled along in the train by the side of the Dean's daughters, who, had she but known it, were as much astonished at the reversal of the position as she could be, but it rankled. She had made larger concessions without feeling as sore as she felt through the journey, and was only soothed by the glad sight of Fenwick's tall figure on the junction platform, in place of the maid she had expected. The next moment she frowned. He was not alone, Mrs. Leslie was with him, and she felt oddly shy. She reflected, further, that the Dean's daughters had done nothing to require so many thanks. "As if I were a helpless parcel!" she murmured rebelliously. It was unfortunate, for it revived the spirit of antagonism which had met Mrs. Leslie at 212 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. Huntingdon. There, however, Claudia had seen but httle of her, here she was some- body to be taken in hand, advised, checked, arraneed for, informed that Arthur did not like this, that, or the other, and treated in fact as a very average young woman of early years, whose inexperience required superior counselling. " i\rthur's is a curious nature," said his sister on the morning after Claudia's arrival. The girl lifted her eyebrows. " I think I understand him. Few persons do," pursued Mrs. Leslie, reflectively, "and I always felt anxious that his wife should be a person of experience. You will require patience, for one thing, I warn you." " Perhaps he will require it, too," said Claudia, with a short laugh which made Mrs. Leslie look at her. " I hope not," she said gravely. " I don't think his stock is large. I advise you to be the one to yield." Claudia found this and similar hints mad- dening, but when she carried her indignation to Fenwick, he was disposed to take his sister's side. " She has rather a peremptory manner," THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 213 was the utmost he would allow. " It's only manner. She's had to pilot old Leslie along, and very well she's done it." " I dare say. But I don't require piloting," said Claudia stiffly. Fenwick smiled, and her colour rose. " What do you mean ? " ''By what?" •' By looking like that." He rose and stretched his arms. " My dear Claudia, you're in an aggressive humour to-day." Her heart smote her. " I believe I was cross," she said with difficulty. " I thought that she — Gertrude — treated me as if I was a child." " Learn philosophy," he said, with a yawn. " What does it matter ? " It is very well to be told to study philo- sophy, but there are times when the advice carries insult with it. Claudia jumped up and stood at the window. From thence she shot a glance at him. He was not looking at her, but strolling about the room, taking up a book here and there. " They've made themselves pretty snug here," he remarked at last. " Gertrude 214 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. thoroughly understands how to rig up a hut." " I hke the Marchmonts' better," said Claudia coldly. " Do you ? Tastes differ, but it isn't really so good. Thornton, now, has dropped into comfortable quarters. By the way, somebody said that Miss Arbuthnot was due at the Thorntons this week." Claudia was cross, and, conscious of it, tried to swallow her displeasure, "We met her yesterday," she said, "and — didn't you hear ? — somebody else said that she was going to be married." He turned sharply. " Married ? Miss Arbuthnot ? Don't believe it." She opened her eyes at his tone. " Why ? Is there anything extraordinary in the fact ? " " Oh no," he said, recovering himself rather awkwardly from the momentary ex- citement. " It's the sort of thing which is always being said of her. She's food for gossips. And it never comes to any- thing." "It will have to come soon, I suppose," THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 215 remarked Claudia, with the scorn of twenty- one for thirty-one. He took no notice of this, but as Mrs. LesHe came into the room, turned sharpl}- upon her. " Gertrude, what's this about Helen Arbuthnot .^ " " Helen ! " reflected Claudia. " Colonel Tomlinson said she was ofoin"" to marry Lord Dartmoor's eldest son." " That stick ! Rot ! " Mrs. Leslie looked at him with warninsf in her eye. " Really, Arthur, I don't see why it shouldn't be true. She is sure to marry somebody." " Somebody, perhaps. It needn't be a fool." He spoke savagely, and Claudia wondered why. His sister made haste to change the subject. " Remember, Claudia, that there is the polo match this afternoon. We must go." The girl flung an imploring glance at Fenwick. " You ? " she said inquiringly. " I can't," he returned. " I'm going to 2l6 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. try a little bicycling of the most feeble description to suit a cripple." "Oh," she cried eagerly, "do let me come ! The Marchmonts said I could always have one of their bicycles, and it would be delightful. Please, Arthur ! " She went close to him, and he played with the frill of her sleeve. " Delightful, but not to be done. I hate to see women bicycling about these places." " But," she urged, " you used to go with the Marchmonts. They told me so." " He wasn't engaged to a Marchmont," said Mrs. Leslie, arranging her flowers. " That makes all the difference." " Why .^ " asked Claudia. As no one answered her question she turned again to Fenwick, " Won't you let me come, this once, this first time } You really may want help." " I should say he had better look after himself — this time," said Mrs. Leslie pointedly, and Claudia crimsoned. " I'm all right," said Fenwick, stretching himself again. " Look here, Claudia, go to the polo, like a good girl, and — if I can, I'll drop in there later." THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 21 7 She said no more, and though she had a sense of defeat, it did not prevent her from becoming absorbingly interested in the rush and energy of the polo match. The day was both bright and showery ; every now and then a sudden storm sent the carriages under the trees, then the sun broke out again, and no one was much the worse. As the afternoon wore on, her attention began to flag, for she expected Fenwick. He came late. *' How have you managed ^ " she asked eagerly. " Well enough. I didn't go far." More hesitatingly he added, " I turned in at the Thorntons'." " Then," remarked his sister, " you heard whether the report about Helen Arbuthnot is true } " " I heard nothing." " I wonder she did not tell you." "There was an excellent reason," he said curtly. " They weren't at home. What's Bateman racing for ? — oh, a new stick. I say, Lucas got that goal cleverly ! I wonder what he'd take for his pony." Claudia's eyes sparkled. " I wish, oh, how I wish women could play polo ! " 2l8 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. "Good heavens! I'm thankful they don't attempt it ! " She turned upon him with a laughing retort, but something in his face checked her. She said the next moment, " There is Miss Arbuthnot." Fenwick looked without making a remark, and exerted himself for Claudia's entertain- ment. Before long, however, he left her, strollinof over to the carriao-e where Helen sat. She ijave him the sliofhtest of sfreet- ings, but, undismayed, he folded his arms on the side of the carriage, and talked in a low voice, " I have been to see you." ** How judicious of you to choose such an admirably safe hour for visits ! " "Is that all you have to say after what I've been ^roinfr throuofh ? Weeks on a sick bed ! " She looked at him between half-shut eyes. " Haven't I seen you since ? Oh, don't expect me to pity you. I believe your accident was simply an ingenious plant, to get what you had set your mind upon. By the way, let me offer my congratulations." '* Thank you. You are very good. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 219 Rumour says you will soon be requiring the same." " Yes ? " The word was distinctly interrogative. Fenwick found himself pondering what it carried with it. Miss Arbuthnot's appear- ance was prosperous, her tone — provokingly indifferent — stuno: him into retort. " Does yes signify yes '^. " " I have never yet been sure. It so entirely depends on the speaker." " Then," he returned boldly, " in your case I should say it meant the opposite." Miss Arbuthnot appeared to consider. " You were never backward in asser- tion," she said. " Tell me, has your Claudia really given up her career and her pocket- book ? " " Do you suppose I should allow my wife to make a fool of herself ? " " Oh, forgive me ! I did not know you were married." "You know, at any rate, what I mean." " Perhaps. By the way, I left your rival on a fair way to recovery." " My rival .? " "Your friend, then — Harry Hilton. He 220 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. is an excellent fellow, and honestly, I think he would have been more suitable to Claudia." " Thank you," said Fenwick grimly. " It seems she did not think so." " No. We women are so slow in learning our lessons that we are left with no time in which to use them." " You must have learnt yours, then, at an early age." The two fencers looked at each other, and she bent her head slightly. " Yes. I have at least learned to take the goods the gods send." " Meaning Mr. Pelham, and a future twenty thousand a year ? " Fenwick shot out sharply. She raised her eyebrows. " Possibly." He suddenly drew back, and went to the other side of the carriage. Claudia, in the pony-cart, had lost her interest in the match. She made only monosyllabic replies, but she was listening intently to Mrs. Leslie's re- marks, more than one of which related to Miss Arbuthnot. Finally she said — " I wonder whether the report about her THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 221 is true ? It would be curious if she and Arthur married in the same year." " Why curious ? " '* Because at one time Oh, well," she added with a laugh, " you can cross-question Arthur." Claudia made no answer ; she seemed to be taken up with a wild gallop of the ponies across the ground. As they drove home they passed the Thornton carriage, and were stopped by a siofn from its mistress. " Captain Fenwick has gone," she said, " and has half promised that you will all dine with us after the inspection to-morrow. Will you ? " Mrs. Leslie hesitated and accepted. Miss Arbuthnot, who had nodded to Claudia, now leaned forward. "The Thornbury trees," she said, "are beginning to recover from the shocks you gave them, but Harry has to go and explain and apologize to them. I know he apologizes." The girl had not time to answer ; the pony did not like stopping, and whisked them away. 2 22 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " Helen was looking very well," remarked Mrs. Leslie. " What was she saying about the Thornbury trees ? " " I had to cut down a few " — Claudia hesi- tated — was it possible she was becoming reluctant to allude to what had been her pride ? — " I went down there, you know " — she lifted her head, and out came the obnoxious word — " professionally." " Good gracious, what do you mean ? " " Has Arthur not told you that I was — that I am a landscape gardener "^ " asked Claudia, with all the dignity she could call to her aid. Mrs. Leslie broke into a peal of laughter. " My dear child, I beg your pardon, but you are so comic ! Arthur's wife a land- scape gardener ! How long have you played with this amazing fancy t " " It has not been play," said Claudia stiffenine. " I went through a regular training, and have had two engagements." And then she broke off suddenly with a miserable wonder how the engagements, in which she had felt such an honest pride, had come to her. One was through Harry Hilton, and the other throuo-h Fenwick. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 2 2$ Could it be possible ! She murmured the Wilmots' name, and Mrs. Leslie's next words completed her humiliation. " Oh, the Wilmots ! " she said, still laugh- ing. " Flo will do anything for Arthur." " Do you mean " began the girl hotly. '* Oh, of course they liked having you " — Mrs. Leslie felt that she had gone rather far — " but I tell you honestly that I suspect it was more because you were young and pretty, and perhaps because it amused them to see you taking life so seriously, than on account of your — what am I to call it — profession ? " " Call it what you like," said Claudia proudly, and staring in front of her. '* We are not likely to agree in the view we take of it. I have been brought up to think that idleness is not the desirable element in a woman's life which you all seem to consider it. As for Arthur, if he is ashamed of it for his wife, he has changed very much since he talked of it a few weeks ago." She made her little speech quietly and well, though her voice trembled as she ended, because she could not but feel that he had changed. 2 24 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " Settle that between you," said Mrs. Leslie, in a light tone. " It doesn't seem to me at all his line." When she could get hold of her brother, she attacked him. " Arthur, why didn't you give me a hint ? What extraordinary craze is this of Claudia's ? Do you know that she calls herself a landscape gardener ? " He frowned. " Has she Qrone back to that rubbish ? I thought it was at an end. Though, mind you, there was something very engaging in the serious view she took of her duties. She hadn't a thouQ;-ht to flincr in another direction." " Absurd ! And you encouraged it ? " "It was the only way of getting at her. Besides, I knew if once I made her care, I could stop it, and stopped it I have, unless you have rubbed her the wrong way again. How did you come upon it } " " Helen Arbuthnot alluded to the Thorn- bury trees. I can't think why Helen has come here now," said Mrs. Leslie impatiently. " I wish she were married and done with." Fenwick made no answer. Possibly he had not heard. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 225 CHAPTER XV. HE march past was one of those brilliant spectacles with which the camp de- lights its visitors. Royalty was there — in- deed, royalties had gathered ; the day was perfect, not over- hot, with fleecy clouds flinging soft shadows on the downs. There were the usual manoeuvres on the Foxhills ; there was the usual futile thirst for informa- tion as to what was going to happen, and the usual ignorance ; the usual anxious dread on the part of husbands engaged lest their wives should get in the way, and stop the advance of a regiment ; the usual thrills of pointing interest over distant puffs of smoke or gleaming metal ; the usual captive balloon, and not quite the usual amount of dust. Claudia, eager and ready, was more like her usual self than she had been since her arrival at Aldershot, keenly interested, and rejoicing 15 2 26 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. quite unduly when she found that Fenwick's battery was on the conquering side. Then came the stirring march past, artillery waoi'o-ons lumberinof alongf, cheerful resi'i- mental bands, a change, a skirl of pipes, and to the proud defiant tones of " The Campbells are comin'," the Argyll High- landers swung by in splendid barbaric dress, like a company of giants. Claudia's eyes were bright, and she did not so much as hear her companion's criticisms. Fenwick's battery passed early, and, leaving it, he came back to where his sister and Claudia stood in the foremost row, for the girl had been far too much carried away to con- sent to remain in the carriage. He looked approvingly at her sparkling and animated face. " You should not have been in this place, though," he said to his sister. " You'd have seen better on the other side of the Duke." But Mrs. Leslie demurred. '* Colonel Manson advised us to come here, and nothinor could have been nicer. There, we should have had horses all round us." "Well, they wouldn't have hurt you. Come alonir now, and see the end of it," THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 227 "Why should we? Stay here, Claudia. You won't get such a good view higher up." The girl thought the same, but went. As soon, however, as Fenwick reached the coveted spot, he began to discover its short- comings, and to complain of the dust and glare. Claudia laughed. " Let us go somewhere else," she said. " I don't mind." "Well, all the best is over, and there's no fun in sticking through it to the end. I want to speak to Lucas over there about his pony." " Is that the polo man } " "Yes." " And are you going in for polo ? " " Not unlikely. If I do, I shall do the thing thoroughly, and his is about the only pony I fancy." " I shouldn't think he'd care to part with it." " So they say." Something in his tone told her that in the difficulty lay the attraction. They walked across the broken ground to the spot where young Lucas stood, and he laughed the suggestion to scorn. 2 28 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " Sell Tommy ! " he said. " My dear fellow, not if I know it! " "Well, if you should " " But I shan't. I shall have to be stone broke first." Fenwick went on unheeding — ** Let me have the refusal." " Oh, as to that, all right ! I f worse comes to the worst and I've got to run, Til leave word that Tommy is yours. Will that suit you ? " ** Down to the ground." Both men laughed, and as Claudia and Fenwick walked away, she said — " I'm afraid you'll have to put up with another pony." " Not I !" he returned. " It's Tommy or none. But I shall sfet him." She glanced curiously at him. " Do you always get what you want ? " " Pretty generally. When I set my mind upon it." " And," she went on slowly, " do you always care about it when you have got it?" But she did not wait for an answer. "Look," she said, "all the carriages are on the move, so it must be over. I'm sorry, for it has been delightful." THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 229 For a minute he made no reply. Then he asked suddenly — " Who's that man with the Thorntons ? " "Gertrude fancied it was very likely Mr. Pelham." " What an ass the fellow looks ! " To this she made no answer. Fenwick was silent and abrupt ; he took her to Mrs. Leslie, and then left her to ride back to Aldershot. That evening was the Thorntons' dinner, and Claudia, who plumed herself upon her own powers of independent decision, found herself swept away by Mrs. Leslie. "What are you going to wear.-^" she asked. " It had better be the green. I'm sure Arthur would prefer the green." And green she wore, although she scourged herself with hard words as she dressed. " It only remains to stick a white camellia in my hair, and go down, blushing and simpering behind ringlets. Whose business is it what I wear ? Why do I give way ? Why can't I hold my own ? Oh, Claudia, Claudia, is this the end of all your fine theories?" And then the an^ruish of a question broke from her, a question which THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. she had been pressing down, dreading that if once it took form it mio-ht be unanswerable — " Does he care ? Does he really care ? He did, when I did not, and why was he so cruel as to force me into loving him, if he was not certain of himself? If I were only sure of him, should I mind one bit all his sister's domineering ways ? Not I ! I could hold my own against her, wear what I liked, say what I liked, do what I liked, in spite of all the ' in laws ' in the world. But now she has me at a disadvantage, and knows it. He is behind her, and when she says, ' Arthur prefers this, Arthur chooses that,' all the resistance goes out of me and leaves me a limp coward. I fancy that she must know best, and that I had better do what she suggests, and I am not myself one bit. I have never been myself since I came here, I am just somebody else, and worse, for I am just the sort of girl I so despised, the very feeble creature I could not have im- agined myself sinking into. How we used to laugh at them at the college ! How the girls would laugh if they could see me now ! And I am afraid I shouldn't even mind their laughing. I am fallen too low to have any THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 23 1 self-respect left, and I know that if I were only sure in my own heart, I should give up all that I cared for — everything — for him, just as he made me tell him I could ; if only, only, I were convinced that he felt the same now that he did. And perhaps he does. Perhaps it is only that I don't quite under- stand. Perhaps it is all part of my turning into an idiotic girl. Perhaps all men — nice men — are the same. Certainly, I should hate his taking too much notice, being too effusive, too silly ! I dare say it is only a foolish fancy of mine. On with your green frock, stupid Claudia, and for pity's sake look at things healthily, instead of taking to morbid fancies ! " She sighed as she finished, but no self- harangue could have been wiser, and she resolutely set herself to carry it out ; bore without flinching Mrs. Leslie's comments upon her dress, and tried to be quite content with the young subaltern who fell to her lot at dinner, while to Fenwick was given Miss Arbuthnot, and Mr. Pelham took in Mrs. Thornton and sat by the side of Miss Arbuth- not. Claudia even tried to convince herself that the arrangement was one she would 232 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. have chosen, because she was thus able to look at the others. She was curious to know whether the story of Helen's engagement was true. "She does not say much to him," she reflected, "but — as Arthur said — he does look rather a nonentity. And then she and Arthur have known each other a long time, and he can be so pleasant, and able to talk of things which I dare say that other man knows nothing about. It is odd, though, that when we were at Thornbury it never struck me that they were particularly friends." She stifled another sigh. " I suppose I was taken up with other things, and didn't notice. Well, now I mustn't stare at them so much, however interesting it is. I must talk to this poor boy next me, who is smiling, and quite pleased all about nothing." " Your Claudia looks pretty to-night," Miss Arbuthnot was remarking. She put up her glasses as she spoke. " My Claudia — as you call her — has a trick of looking pretty." " She has, and I never denied it. But she has upset my theories. I thought she would prove herself indifferent to you all for some THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 233 time to come. Oh, don't smile ! A man may be vain — he can't help himself, I sup- pose, but when his vanity peeps out it is insupportable." " Have you impressed that upon the indi- vidual to your right ? " " Time enough," said Miss Arbuthnot coolly. " Besides, you are mistaken. He is not vain." " Fortunate man to have secured you as his advocate ! " She was silent. " What other excellent characteristics does he boast ? " " I did not know we were talking of him." " Oh, I must talk. I have been thinking of him ever since yesterday." " And why yesterday ? " " Because it was then I heard what the world is saying." " I should have thought you of all men would have hesitated to believe what the world says." "Is it wrong, then ? " asked Fenwick eagerly. She made a movement as of balancinof her hands. 2 34 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " It may or may not be. You will see." " You speak as if it were a matter of indifference," he said so bitterly that she slowly turned her face towards him, and lifted her eyebrows. "As it must be — to you," she replied coldly. " Forgive me — that is impossible," he said, dropping his voice, and staring before him. The next moment Miss Arbuthnot was addressincj a remark to her other neicrhbour. Fenwick marched up to Claudia directly the men reached the drawinor-room. The Thorntons lived in the permanent barracks, and the regimental band was playing on the drillinof o-round. " How are you getting on ? Bored ? " he inquired. She mioht have said no if she had been an older woman. As it was, she replied truthfully that she had been, and allowed her eyes to express the pleasure she felt. " Every one was out of place at dinner. Mrs. Thornton pitchforks people about." He spoke almost apologetically, and added quickly, " That's a pretty frock you've got on, Claudia." THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 235 " Is it ?" She blest it. " But," he went on, giving way to some inward irritation, " I agree with you that it's an awful bore havinof to come out in this way among a lot of people who can only talk rot. As for that " — he indicated Pel- ham with a movement of his head — " I should be surprised to find that he owned a sino-le idea." He spoke with unusual bitterness, and the girl looked at him, surprised. Fenwick not infrequently showed temper, but It re- quired more to excite it than an occasional foolish young man, whom it Was quite easy to avoid. Evidently, however, he was put out. He found fault with the band, with the airs they played, with the quarters, and, indeed, impartially, with whatever topic presented itself. Claudia, armed with a new forbearance, exerted herself to charm away the mood, and partly succeeded. She was conscious that, as he had implied, she was looking her best, and that when his eye fell upon her. It softened. Yet, by a curious contradiction, she was also conscious, and it gave her such a sick conviction of im- potence as she had never before experienced. 236 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. that he was not always attending to her, and, even worse than this, that she was beating her brains for some subject with which to divert him. She knew but httle of those everyday topics to which most of us fly as to blessed houses of refuge. She had really bound herself, as Philippa quickly discovered, in narrowest fetters, flinging a strong personality into one interest, of which being suddenly deprived, she became like a dislodged hermit crab, unable to find another resting-place. But she knew this much, that two persons in full sympathy with each other, would have no need to seek for common subjects of interest. The love which Fenwick's vanity had set himself to awake, was indeed alive, stirring feel- ings partly of passionate joy, and partly sharp anguish ; but she was also aware of strange forces which seemed to draw her in directions where she would not go, and of vague disturbances for which she could not account. It was a curious moment now for a swift flash of such discomfort to dart through her, yet here it was, and for just that moment it blinded her to her surroundings. She looked THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 237 Up with a Start to find Fenwick on his feet, and Helen Arbuthnot standing before her. Helen was holding out her hand and smiling. "As you would not come to me, I have come to you," she said. " So I hear you are no longer a lady of the woods, but have joined the ordinary ways of us mortals." Claudia coloured. She was taken by sur- prise, and thought Miss Arbuthnot showed bad taste in harping upon these topics. Displeasure made her answer as she might not otherwise have done — " I hope to be in woods again one day." "Really?" Somewhat to her surprise, Fenwick came to her assistance. " As she has nothinof of that sort here on which to expend her energies, she is going to take up the moral improvement of the British soldier instead. I hear her asking very searching questions on the subject." His tone was light but not sarcastic, and Claudia turned and smiled at him. " That's not fair," she said. " I only asked questions because I know absolutely nothing," " I should ask questions too, if the answers 2.-; 8 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. weren't so unsatisfactory," said Miss Arbuth- not, taking the chair Fenwick had left. " Don't you find that people always know either too much or too little ? But of course at this point it is for Captain Fenwick to answer any questions you may be pleased to put," The girl, who was shy of open allusions to her position, was annoyed by Miss Ar- buthnot's manner. At Thornbury she had almost liked her, and to Thornbury she returned, ignoring the last remark. " Can you tell me anything about Mr. Hilton ? I hope he is better } " " I suppose so, but I don't know why you should hope it. Life can't give him much pleasure, and he manages to make it a burden for everybody else, especially for Harry." "Oh, Harry! Harry's a lucky beggar," said Fenwick. He had not sat down, but stood with his hands behind him, holding the back of the chair aQainst which he leaned. " You say so ? That's what comes of not grumbling. I should like to see you doing Harry's work for a day. We should all hear of it," she added sarcastically. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 239 " Oh, praise him as much as you Hke," — was there a sHght emphasis on the him ? — "you are right, he deserves it. Granting a few h'mitations, Harry Hilton is a first-rate fellow." He looked at Miss Arbuthnot smiling, she, too, smiled back. Claudia, on the con- trary, frowned slightly, not from displeasure, but from a feeling of being puzzled. "Now that they are both engaged they seem on better terms than they were before," she pondered. " I wonder why it should be, I wonder what has brought them together ? " For she knew they had not met. The next moment she heard Miss Arbuthnot being invited to drive on the Artillery coach. " Thanks, no," she said indifferently. " I've too much on hand just now." " To go about with — him, I suppose," he said sharply. " But you can bring him — if you must." "What a real gush of hospitality!" she returned in a mocking tone. " Alas ! even if I must, it is doubtful whether he would." " Well— ask him." " I think not." She stood up as she spoke, massive and handsome. " I don't 240 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. think it would be any use. But I am going back now to talk to him." Claudia watched her cross the room, and caught Mr. Pelham's beaming look. " Oh, it must be true, he looks so happy !" she cried impulsively. " And, Arthur, I think you are hard on him. He has quite a ofood face." She did not catch Fenwick's muttered ejaculation — " Confound him ! " THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 24 1 CHAPTER XVI. LAUDIA'S young and vigorous inte- rests were attracted by all that was connected with the camp, too much so, indeed, to please Fenwick. She ran out whenever a regiment passed, or when she heard distant sounds of drill. " You don't want to be shown the stables, do you ? " " Oh, I do, particularly." He gave way, but with a discontent which took the pleasure out of it. Another time he remarked to his sister — " Can't you give Claudia a hint not to be so tremendously excited about the band in church ? She talked of it to Dawson till he must suppose she comes from the wilds." Something in his tone made Mrs. Leslie look at him in dismay. 16 242 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " Arthur," she said impressively, "you are not getting tired of her, are you ? " He turned angrily upon her. " Tired ! Rubbish ! " She went on, disregarding. " It would be simply disgraceful. I should be ashamed to look any one in the face. First Helen Arbuthnot, and then this poor girl." " Have you done ?" he said savagely. '* No. I mean to speak. I must. I have thought at times, I own, that in spite of the break off between you and Helen, you had a sneaking kindness for each other, but now you have both split away in different directions, so that is quite at an end." " She's not married yet, and I don't believe she can like that idiot," growled Fenwick. "Arthur!" "Well?" " You're not " He interrupted her, "What have I said? Nothing about marrying her myself, have I ? Take my advice, Gertrude, and don't meddle. I've never stood meddling yet, and I'm not going to now. Mind you, this doesn't matter to you or to any one else." THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 243 "It does matter," she persisted. "With the girl in my house, I am certainly re- sponsible." " I deny it. If she's satisfied, what have you to say ? " " Oh," she said impatiently, " of course she's satisfied ! You know how to talk, and it is easy enough to please a girl of that age." " Very well, then. By your own showing, you've nothing to say. I'm going to marry her, and that's the end of it." Fenwick was not a pleasant person to have an argument with ; almost invariably it brought out in him a certain hard tenacity, which made other men angry. Perhaps Mrs. Leslie was less sensitive to it than was the rest of the world, but even she shrank from the shock of clashing wills, which more than once had led to a bitter dispute between brother and sister. The conversation, however, had left her dis- tinctly uncomfortable, and she reflected long whether she should give Claudia a hint. Yet it was difficult to know how much or how little she should say, and it seemed better that if nothing were really amiss, the 2^4 ^^^ CAREER OF CLAUDIA. girl should not have her suspicions raised. Only — for she was really a conscientious woman, and Claudia was a fatherless girl — she resolved that if things became worse, she would take her part determinedly against Arthur or any one else. And this not so much from liking as from an innate feeling for justice. Unfortunately, her hidden fear did not act very wisely. It made her watchful and almost irritable with Claudia. She could not say in so many words, " Don't do this, don't say that, your fate is trembling in the balance," but she contrived to convey it in her actions, growing so evidently anxious over the most trifling movements or expres- sions, that the girl, in spite of indignant self- protests, became nervously inflicted by her companion's distrust, and developed a new self-consciousness. She grew restless too. " I do wish you would not give yourself so much trouble over my amusement," she said one day to Mrs. Leslie. " For instance, please don't imagine that it is necessary for me to go to the club-house every afternoon." " One must go somewhere," said her hostess vaguely. She could not explain THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 245 that she had offered the pony-cart to Fenwick for him to drive Claudia into the country, and he had refused it. " I don't see that," said the girl, with a laugh. She added after a pause, " What I really should like would be to bicycle over some of the country round. But Arthur won't hear of it." " Don't tease him about it, pray don't," said Mrs. Leslie, with over - expressed anxiety. Claudia looked at her. " Why ? " she asked, and such interroga- tions were becomins: more and more diffi- cult to answer. Mrs. Leslie was hesitating over it when the young subaltern, Claudia's neighbour at the Thorntons' dinner-party, looked in. "You'll forgive my coming at this un- earthly hour, v/on't you ? " he said. " Fact is, Major Leslie asked me to tell you that you and Miss Hamilton had better come out. Orders are given that the Scots Greys are not to be allowed to get back to barracks, and he thinks you might like to see the fun. Can you get along by yourselves ? I must be off." 246 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. Mrs. Leslie jumped up with a sense of relief, but she was an imprudent woman, and her imprudence broke out. " Why couldn't Arthur have let us know ? " she said in a vexed voice. " There, I have let the children go off, and Frank will be so disappointed ! " " Perhaps Arthur didn't know himself." "He must have found out by this time. However, be quick, Claudia. We can't wait for the cart; we'll walk." Claudia did what she was often doing at this time, hastily packed misgivings out of sight, and they started. Rain had fallen in the night ; great pools of water stood waiting to be sucked up by the yellow soil, and massive banks of clouds moved sullenly to the east. Out from behind them the sun had flashed, and was shining steadily, trans- forming all he touched, and bringing, as he does in our northern lands, no languor, but an added energy. Now and then a body of troops marched briskly along up the road, passed the cavalry barracks, and turned to their right. " Where are the Greys, I wonder ? " said Mrs. Leslie impatiently. " I hate to be left THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 247 in this way, knowing nothing of what is doing." Claudia had no answer ready, and they went on. Presently her companion broke out agani — " I always vow I will not come and see these things from the outside." " How can one see them otherwise ? " asked Claudia, in oood faith. " Oh, you must know what I mean. I call it outside when you toil along roads as we are toiling, and have no one to tell you where to ofo." " As to that, I suppose they're all trying to cut off the Greys." " Ah, you're not married," said Mrs. Leslie gloomily. Presently she stopped. " I don't see the good of going on." " Oh yes ! " " Most likely we are all wrong." " One can't tell — nobody here ever knows what's going to happen next. Suppose we walk across to that clump ? " " Well " began her companion, turn- ing reluctantly. The next moment she exclaimed, " Here comes the Thorntons' carriage ; we can ask them." 248 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. Instinctively Claudia longed to break away, but, instead of doing so, stood still and tried to look indifferent. Mrs. Thornton was driving Miss Arbuthnot, and, before there was time for inquiry, called out — " You're going the wrong way. You should make for that mound." She flourished her whip. " Who told you so .? " " Captain Fenwick. He looked in to say that would be the best place." " Really ? " " So sorry we can't give you a lift ! " " Oh," said Mrs. Leslie mendaciously, *' we prefer walking. So I do," she added as the carriage rolled away — " so I do, to going with her. She irritates me. She's always in the right. But I think it was simply abominable of Arthur." " What does it matter ? " said Claudia, with a fine display of indifference. "It matters a great deal, because, of course, if I had known it was going to be so far, I should have brought the carriage." " Well, don't let us toil to that mound. Let us go to the place we intended before. It is such a pretty day ! " THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 249 ** I dare say it is, but we didn't come out to see the country." To her surprise, however, by dint of a Httle more pressure, Claudia carried her point, with the result that they saw nothing. But this she did not seem to mind, for she talked and laughed vigorously, in spite of many " I told you so's " from Mrs. Leslie. " You are the oddest crirl ! " exclaimed that lady at last. '' Why ? " " Because you don't appear to care to stand on your rights. Now, I think that Arthur has behaved shamefully." It is certain that she would not have spoken so imprudently if she had conceived it possible that a young girl of Claudia's inexperience could seriously resent her lover's conduct ; she only considered it desirable to point out to her that she might be too easy with him, and that it would be better for her were she to assert herself. And the o-irl's own anxiety to hide her wounds added to Mrs. Leslie's failure to understand her. She showed no disturbance. "Aren't you hard on him? He may 2 so THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. have been close to their quarters," she sug- gested, " and just turned in." " I dare say ! He would not have found it so convenient if Helen Arbuthnot hadn't been there." Mrs. Leslie liked to justify her statements. " No ? " said Claudia indifferently. It would have taken a close observer to note a certain slight rigidity in the way she carried her head. " No. My dear Claudia, It's all very well to be magnanimous, but if you expect peace in your married life, you had better make up your mind to the fact that Arthur — thouo^h a Q-ood fellow in the main — is a bit of a flirt." Claudia did not turn her head. '"' I dare say," she said coolly, so coolly that Mrs. Leslie prepared to strengthen her warning. " And I advise you to show him you don't like it — beforehand." " Thank you." Mrs. Leslie could not have quite explained the character of this "thank you," but she preferred to consider that it breathed grati- tude ; and, the morning having in other ways THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 25 1 proved such a dismal failure, accepted this as partial compensation, feeling that now she had done her best to open Claudia's eyes, and that, whatever happened, she could not be blamed for havino- uttered no warninof. She had been altogether tired and annoyed by her long vain tramp, and was not in the mood to spare her brother, Claudia, too, had been so provokingly quiescent that it was only to be supposed she did not see, and Arthur's wife would require to have all her senses about her. She therefore carried home both a griev- ance and a sense of fulfilled duty ; which, together, make a person pretty nearly in- tolerable. But, though Claudia kept her proud silence, and could even say "thank you" to her coun- sellor, it must not be supposed that she was patient at heart. It was not this or that trifling circumstance ; they were not the events of the morning, taken by themselves, which affected her ; it was that, gradually, little by little, the conviction forced itself upon her that Fenwick no longer loved her, nay, possibly, that he was loving another woman. Why it should be so, she struggled 252 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. to fathom, and failed. Why, when both were free, he should have preferred her to Helen Arbuthnot, who could tell ? Only that it was so, she could now scarcely doubt. And with a yearning- which seized and shook her with the violence of its desire, the motherless girl longed unutterably for some one to whom she could turn, some one who could give her the aid for which she was groping. What ought she to do ? How do it ? How, even if her love were smitten, maimed, down-trodden, should her womanly pride keep its dignity, and shield her from the pitying scorn with which she knew the world regarded a jilted woman ? One day, although it was understood that she did not go out by herself, she slipjDed away, and, finding a church open, went in, and in its quiet silence, poured forth a torrent of tears and prayers, which brought relief. Her fears, like much else characteristic of Claudia in those days, were young, crude, and ill-balanced. Later on, she would have known that the world casts a few sentences, a few jibes, and has forgotten, before the sufferer has time to realize that the thing is known. Everything whirls past; we and THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 253 our petty concerns, whisked to the surface one moment, are swept under the next. But, as with other things, it takes years to teach our inexperience the lesson. There was another difficulty. Think as she might, plan as she might, Claudia could not see before her the words or the moment she wanted for letting Fenwick know that he was free. There were times when she thought of rushing back to Elmslie, but to do this until the explanation had been made, was, she fancied, impossible. She had come for a three weeks' stay, and of this only a fortnight — was it credible ? only a fortnight ! — had passed. Then the college — for a moment she re- flected hopefully on the college, and some proffered engagement. But, alas ! again. Engagements did not pour in every day, and she flushed furiously as she realized that her own, which she had proudly regarded as an offering on the shrine of emancipated woman, were more probably due only to the efforts of two men who liked her. Humi- liating conviction ! Besides, at Fenwick's instigation, she had obediently written a re- quest to the jDrincipal to withdraw her name from the lists of those seeking employment. 2 54 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. Look as she would, she could not clearly see the road by which she might escape ; yet each day seemed to make her position more unbearable. And Mrs. Leslie, Mrs. Leslie added ten- fold to her difficulties, and this with the best intentions in the world. Claudia's wounded love flung itself for support on her woman's pride ; like her race she could endure mag- nificently, if only she were allowed, unques- tioned, to hide the anguish of the wound. But Mrs. Leslie saw too much, pointed out what the girl would fain have passed over in silence, grumbled, protested, excused. She was personally affronted with her brother, and used Claudia as a weapon of retaliation. She did not approve of Helen Arbuthnot, she considered that Arthur was behaving scandalously, and she felt a large degree of responsibility for the girl under her care ; so that it was constantly — " Well, certainly, Arthur, you have been most attentive to Claudia to-day ! " or, " If I were Claudia, I should not thank you much for looking in upon me at the end of the afternoon ; " or, " Claudia and I seem left very much to our own devices!" And these reproaches, uttered THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 255 before Claudia herself, had the effect of paralyzing the girl, and of taking from her what seemed her own just cause of com- plaint. There were dangerous moments, too, when Fenwick, smitten with remorse or swayed by caprice — who can say ? — regained his old ascendancy ; when she could almost believe that all was as it had been, moments when he was charming, tender ; moments, alas ! too fleeting, but sweet enough to make her own with a pang that if only they lasted, she must still be his. For the sake of their delicious o-lamour, a weaker nature mieht have readily consented to keep its eyes blinded, and to believe that all would yet be well. But Claudia was not weak. Her training, whatever else it had done or left undone, had exercised her intellect, and given her powers of self-control which came to her rescue now. She saw clearly that when Fenwick was charming, it was because he had made up his mind to charm ; that it was not due to spontaneous love, but to intentional love-making, and that such intervals were succeeded by evident in- difference. 256 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. CHAPTER XVII. ISS ARBUTHNOT was everywhere, and Mr. Pelham shadowed her. Opinions were freely bandied as to the existence or non-existence of an eneaee- ment, the majority inclining to the belief that one existed. Fenwick, on the other hand, was seldom seen near her, Mrs. Leslie began to recover her equanimity, and perhaps only Claudia was aware that when he was in the same room with Helen his eyes followed her, or that he was more than usually silent and self-occupied. She was invariably well dressed, in a manner which set off her large figure ; people turned to look at her as she passed, and she seemed to fling into insig- nificance such slim beauties as Claudia. Whether from chance or intention, the two seldom said much to each other, but it happened that one grey afternoon at the THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA, 257 club-house, they found themselves near each other watching a game of bicycle polo. Miss Arbuthnot deliberately walked up to Claudia. " Detesting games ! I am bored to death," she said, "and so — I imagine — are you. Don't you think we should suffer less if we escaped beyond the sounds of croquet and lawn-tennis, and everything except the clack of our own voices ? " Claudia hesitated, and Helen added — " You had better come. I assure you there are times when I can be intelligent, and Captain Fenwick will not be here just yet." The girl walked quickly on as if she had been stung. " What has that to do with it } " she said recklessly. Miss Arbuthnot was engaged in disen- tangling a bramble which had caught in her dress. When she looked up she said coolly — "A good deal to me. You know — or do you not know ? — that I have always liked h' >) im. Amazement struck Claudia almost speech- 17 258 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. less. She stammered with her sudden rush of anger. " You tell me — you can tell me " " The truth. Isn't that always desirable ? Besides, after all, have I said anything that should affront you .'* That I liked him. That was my remark." There was a pause. " It implied that he liked you," said Claudia, more calmly, though still choking. " Oh, not at all. Does the one thing invariably imjDly the other ? " It mii^ht have been that there was — it seemed so to Claudia — a touch of mockery in the question. " If not " she began hastily, and stopped, "If not, you think I was a fool ? Well — perhaps. We were engaged, at any rate." ** Oh ! " cried the girl, stopping short. This was more than she had dreamed of. " You did not know it ? But I imagine you are prepared to hear of such episodes ? " Is any woman prepared ? Claudia bit her lip to keep back the answer she would have liked to fling at her tormentor, and Miss Arbuthnot went on — " It did not last very long. To adopt the THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 259 Stock phrase proper to these humiliating occasions, we discovered that we had made a mistake. Probably you wonder why I am going back to that not too-agreeable time. I will tell you " "Don't!" cried Claudia, quite suddenly. She hardly knew what she said, conscious only of a sharp thrill of pain, and a sickening dread of worse to come. Miss Arbuthnot glanced quickly at her, and went on as if she had not spoken. " It is because I am certain you are falling into the same mistake." She turned away as she spoke, and stood resting her arms upon a railing. Behind her she heard the girl breathing heavily. Then it seemed as if Claudia made an effort to speak, for her voice was strangely hoarse and low. " This is unendurable ! " she said. "Oh no," returned Helen, "not by any means unendurable. The unendurable is when you have made the mistake permanent. If you could bring yourself to admit it to me — and you might, since I have gone through the same humiliation myself — you would own that you are uneasy, shaken, unhappy. I 26o THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. don't know what plan you adopt with him, perhaps you reproach him — I found it irre- sistible — perhaps you take refuge in silence. Take my word for it, there is no remedy in either. Love has flown, and you will never whistle him back. Be thankful he did not stay longer. Hug the wound, if you will, but go." Perhaps, in the sick bewilderment of the moment, the sensation uppermost in Claudia's mind was vexation at the manner in which Miss Arbuthnot reviewed the position. She spoke with a cool confidence always impres- sive, and she seemed to be able to express herself dispassionately, as if she were no more than a critic, looking on from the outside. It was true that she had taken extreme care to place herself on the same level with Claudia, but the girl was too angry and excited to accept this fellowship. It was, indeed, made impossible to her by the unacknowledged conviction that the dominion Miss Arbuthnot once possessed, she had, in some inexplicable manner, regained. She stood pale, furious, yet trying hard to pre- vent excitement from showing itself in voice or manner. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 26 1 " Why do you say this to me ? " " Ah, why ? " returned the other, lapsing into her usual careless tone. " To tell you the truth, you have me there. I did not intend to speak. I thought you might find out for yourself, but — who can account for impulses ? Perhaps I imagined it might shorten the business. I see that so far I have failed, and you are only angry." "Angry!" Claudia flung back her head impetuously. " That isn't the word." "Well, I won't use a stronger," said Miss Arbuthnot, with an amused smile. " I dare say I should have felt the same myself. Yet, look at the matter philosophically. You only hate me for speaking, because your heart tells you I am right." " Oh, for more than that ! " broke in the girl wildly. " For more than that ? " The older woman turned and glanced curiously at her. She went on slowly. "You think, perhaps, then, that I am the cause of your unhap- piness ? " " Yes, I do. I think that you are treach- erous, treacherous ! " cried Claudia, stung beyond control. " You failed to keep his 262 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. love yourself, yet could not endure to see it given to me. You set yourself to take it again " Her voice failed — choked. It was Miss Arbuthnot's turn to grow a little pale, and she stood for a moment starino^ out at a bit of near common, across which soldiers were marchinof, li^ht now and then flashins: on their accoutrements. " But — If I have proved to you that it is worthless ? " she said slowly at last, " Ah ! " exclaimed Claudia scornfully, " do yo2L think it worthless ? " Then Helen Arbuthnot did a stranoe thing. She turned and looked into Claudia's eyes, her own unflinching, and she spoke as people speak in a great crisis of their life. "Before Heaven, I do," she said, "and that althouoh I once cared for It more than for anything else in the world. Now have I set myself low enough ? " Something in her words, but more In the manner of their utterance, had indeed shaken and curiously affected Claudia. They might have been spoken by one who cared enough for ht-r to venture much on her behalf. And yet they came from the lips of Miss THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 26 o Arbuthnot, the woman whom she had just accused of acting towards her in the most heartless manner in which woman can act towards woman, and who at this moment, she beheved, was holding" her love up to scorn. For a moment she was shaken, but she recovered herself. " You own you want it yourself ! " she cried relentlessly. The other still gazed at her for a moment, and then her mood changed. The fire died out of her eyes, her look relaxed ; she laughed, though not mirthfully. " Ah, well," she said, " I have already made you a present of the situation, so far as I am concerned. Doesn't that mollify you .'' " So far as you are concerned ! " Claudia repeated with scorn. " Oh, you are very much concerned ! The situation, as far as I can read it, is that you are trying to per- suade me to take myself out of the way, in order that you may feel still more perfectly free." Miss Arbuthnot looked at her once more. " Do you not see," she said slowly and cruelly, "that you are not in the way? It 264 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. is what he cannot have which has the attraction for Arthur Fenwick." Was it so ? The girl breathed hard, and put the question a second time. " Then why do you speak ? " She had forofotten Helen's words. " Ah, why ? That's what I have asked myself half a dozen times in as many minutes. Answer it as you like. Perhaps I love meddling." She turned as she spoke, and began to walk towards the club-house. Claudia, hot, bewildered, angry, marched by her side, unwilling either to go with her or to remain behind. She felt bruised and beaten, yet, after all, the pain came from an unacknow- ledged source. Were they not her own convictions which had taken shape from the mouth of another ? Before they reached the garden, Fenwick met them. His first glad look, his first glad word, were for Helen. " At last I have escaped ! " It was little enough, but there are times when a little does as well as a great deal. He recollected himself, it is true, and turned sharply to Claudia, but she could have sworn THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 265 that the exclamation neither belonged to her, nor was caused by her presence. It was to Helen he had escaped. She tried to speak quietly, though her tongue felt stiffened. " I see Gertrude on the croquet ground, and she must be wonderino- what has become of me." If she was abrupt, she could not help it, yet, as she went, she was bitterly conscious that a short fortnight ago, Fenwick would have been almost tiresomely scrupulous that she did not cross the orround alone. And still, with her wretchedness, there was some- thing of the joy of restored freedom. The shackles which she had worn gladly when she believed they belonged to excess of love, galled again, as soon as the love was want- ing ; so that when Mrs, Leslie, vexed with her brother, vented her vexation on Claudia by whispering — " Where is Arthur ? My dear Claudia, you really ought not to walk about all over the place by yourself; he will be so an- noyed ! " the girl's answer was a repetition of his words. She drew a long breath. " At last I have escaped ! " Fenwick, meanwhile, was in the midst 266 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. of an interesting conversation. Both he and Miss Arbuthnot followed Claudia with their eyes. Then Helen turned hers upon him. '' Well ? " she said. He thrust his hands into his pockets. " She can take care of herself for once. And — I never see you." " I should have said we met fairly often." " I don't call it seeing to find you engulfed in a crowd." She lifted her eyebrows. " Since when have you been so desirous for a conversation a deux ? " Fenwick looked at her hardily. The look did not seem to ag"ree with his words. " You might have a little pity ! " *' I have a great deal. I have just been expressing it to your Claudia." He frowned. " To Claudia ? And pity for me ? " "Oh no!" said Miss Arbuthnot in her softest voice. " For her." This time there was a short silence. Fenw^ick walked away a few yards, and came back to where Miss Arbuthnot still stood waiting. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 267 " You are rieht," he said in an altered tone ; " you are right. From beginning to end it has been a miserable mistake," She expressed no surprise, the two ap- pearing to understand each other. She only inquired — " And what do you intend to do ? " " I must go on with it. We must marry," he returned moodily. "Certainly," said Miss Arbuthnot briskly, " certainly. No other course is open to you." He looked at her again. '*And yet you haven't a word of pity to throw ! " " Why should I ? You are marrying the girl you chose, a nice girl, too, who had no thought of you until you insisted upon her falling in love. And now that you have got her there, you are discontented. Pity ! Yes, I pity her with all my heart ! " He still kejDt his eyes on her. " You won't be any better off yourself," he said with sio^nificance. She turned and faced him. " What do you mean ? " she asked coldly. "That fellow — that Pelham — can you tell me honestly that you care for him ? " 268 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " You have no possible right to put such a question," she said haughtily. " Be sure of one thing. I do not marry the man I do not care for. Here we are at the polo again, and here is Mrs. Menzies." Fenvvick had his dismissal, and swung away in a rage, angry with Helen, angry with Claudia, most angry with himself. He rated fate for opening his eyes when it was too late, and allowing him then, and not till then, to find out the insane folly of his conduct in letting slip the one woman for whom he was now certain that he cared. Glancinof at the rapidly thinning group of brightly dressed people, he muttered an exclamation as he caught a glimpse of his sister's figure, and, with the intention of avoidinof a meetine, went out of the place, and struck from the Farnborough road, with its oddly isolated groups of firs, across the common. By this time the sun was low, and, catching the fir stems, turned them to ruddy gold. A few wild clouds, threatening storm, barred the western sky, but the threat was splendid in colour and contrast, and, while bringing out the rich tints of the near common, had the effect of only adding to the serene beauty THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. l6c) of the blue distance. Here and there a patch of white tents dotted a slope ; smoke curled upwards from the camp fires ; and an occasional sharp sound or call struck the silence. Fenwick neither saw nor heard. He walked, staring at the ground, caring nothing where he went, and only bent upon avoiding his kind. What devil was there in him, he asked himself impatiently, which was for ever dragging him into positions from which, when his eyes were open, he recoiled ? In this question which he flung, it is possible that he caught a fleeting glimpse of the inordinate vanity which was the real cause of his disasters, but vanity is too subtle an imp not to have a hundred disguises ready for such a moment. Fenwick freely cursed an impetuous nature, idleness, imprudence, and left the actual mover unscathed and grinning. He had tired of Helen Arbuth- not for the very reason that he was secure of her preference ; and when he accepted his dismissal and moved away, it was with the absolute confidence that if ever he liked to step back, he would find her waiting. And now apparently — by her own act, which was 270 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. quite a different affair from his — she was placing- herself beyond his reach ; while he, like a raw fool, had bound himself to a girl who had ceased to be attractive from the moment in which he knew he had gained her heart. He did not put it so crudely, nor had he any thought of drawing back from his enofaeement. Fenwick was an honourable man, and he fully intended not only to marry Claudia, but to make her happy. As to his power to do this, he was curiously free from misgivings. On his own future life he be- stowed a groan, but she loved him, and that would be enough for her. He even went so far as to glance at some of her crude latter- day ideas, and to decide that he would allow her a certain amount of freedom to exercise them ; under careful control, of course, and, above all, in ways that should bring no ridicule upon him. Such an outlet for her enthusiasms would occupy and prevent her finding out that — that — well, that he no lono^er felt for her all that he had imao;ined. How he had imagined it still puzzled him, for he had no impulse towards solving the enigma in the only way in which it could THE CAREER OE CLAUDIA. 27 1 have been solved — the confession that her cool indifference had piqued him into try- ing to stir it into warmth. So accustomed was he to flutter the hearts of the women who crossed his path, that to find a country girl treating him with profound carelessness, was not to be endured. It was very natural that Harry Hilton's clumsy attentions should fail to touch her — he liked her the better for being their object, and for rejecting them — but to be placed in the same category him- self was another matter. Then, to win her cost him something. He had to let him- self go. For a time he felt the ardour of chase, the longing to gain ; some, at least, of the many sensations which help to make up love ; enough, indeed, as he bitterly owned, to deceive himself. And now, now he had won Claudia, and lost Helen. He walked far, so that when he turned all the fires of sunset had dulled in the west, and the firs stood black ao^ainst a saffron sky. The camp was alive and busy, though the more active work of the day was over. Fen wick came back as he went. He told himself bitterly that this was no more than 272 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. he expected. It was no question of future conduct which he had taken out into the solitudes to solve, but a burden which he was ofirdinor himself to bear. He had thoui-dit of himself from beginning to end, and of Claudia only as one towards whom he had a duty. For him to fulfil this was enough for her. But he could not see her that night. When he reached his quarters he sent a note to the hut saying that he was dining at mess, and would not be able to look in. He made another resolution, which appeared to him an admirable example of sacrifice, for there was a party to which Miss Arbuthnot was bidden and not the Leslies : he had intended to find himself there, and now re- signed it. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 2j[ CHAPTER XVIII. HE result of Fenwick's meditation might have been foreseen ; he felt himself the injured person, and went re- signedly to the hut on the following day, prepared to act with magnanimity. Claudia met him as simply as usual, showing no trace of displeasure. A close observer might, it is true, have noticed that she was both pale and heavy-eyed, but, except under the influence of a dominant personal interest, Fenwick was not a close observer, and he merely registered a mental note that her young beauty was of too variable a nature to be counted upon. His sister, however, quickly became aware that he was himself disturbed, and she took an opportunity of calling Claudia into the next room. " Something has gone wrong with Arthur, i8 2 74 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. I can see. I know his face so well ! Do be careful what you say," she added anxiously. "Has anything gone wrong?" asked the girl, with a curious little laugh. " Well, don't be afraid. Perhaps I can set it right." Mrs. Leslie shook her head. She had no confidence in Claudia's powers, and she dreaded beyond words, another eight days' wonder over her brother's love affairs. INIajor Leslie was waiting for her in the garden, and when she went out she was so full of her fears that she confided them, with signs towards the window. " I am dreadfully afraid there is something in the wind. Arthur looks like a thunder- cloud." "Pleasant for her!" said httle Major Leslie, whistling. " That's the worst of it. She might manage, but unfortunately she has no tact whatever, and Arthur will require the most delicate handling from his wife. Lawrence, this gardener is absolutely no good." " I don't see anything amiss." " Then look at that border." The two wrangled, and strolled away to- gether. Claudia, after a momentary hesitation. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 275 a momentary locking of her small fingers, went back to the pretty cool room, and sat down on the window-seat. Through the trees came glints of bright colour, as soldiers passed up and down the road, and now and then a cheery note of bugle or pipes rose shrill above other sounds. Fen- wick walked restlessly about the room. " I suppose you'll be at the polo this after- noon," he remarked, stopping to straighten a picture, *' as you're so awfully keen on that sort of thing, aren't you ? " " I suppose I am," she said slowly. " But I am not going to the polo. It was about this afternoon that I wanted to say something," " All right. Here I am ! " he said, fling- ing himself into a low chair by her side. But there was somethinof unoracious in the movement, and his face darkened. He thought she intended to reproach him. Claudia spoke again, still slowly, for her voice was not altogether under control, and she dreaded above all things a breakdown. " I am just sending a telegram to Elmslie — to my cousins — to ask them to expect me to-day." " Oh ! " said Fenwick, sitting up. " And 276 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. may I ask what has brought about this sudden change ? " His dry angry voice acted upon Claudia as a spur. Her eyes brightened as she faced him. " Need you ask ? " Then her voice softened again. "Arthur," she said, "many words are not necessary, are they ? It has all been hasty, mistaken, foolish, but it has not lasted very long. Now let us both — forget." " Do you mean," he asked sharply, " that you wish to break off our engagement ?" " Yes," she answered, groping for words so carefully that she hesitated — " yes, that is what I mean. I did foolishly to agree to it, and that will always be the first thing I shall remember. Why you wished it I don't know " — she drew a long breath — " happily it is not yet too late, and it has just got to be as thouoh it had never been." " I should still like to know what is my offence. That I left you to go back alone yesterday ? I should have supposed that would have pleased you." " I think you are ungenerous," said the girl, with a flash. " Do you take me for a stone ? I am not reproaching you. Oh," THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 277 she broke out more wildly, " can't you let it be over and done with without words ? " " No," said Fenwick savagely. "I suppose this is all woman's confounded jealousy." He was really angry, and conflicting with a sense of relief came indiornation that she could let him go. " Have it as you like," Claudia answered proudly ; " I have said enough. It has been a mistake, a mistake made by us both ; but fortunately there is still time to draw back. Some day perhaps you will see that I could not have acted otherwise." She flunp^ out her hands. "There! It is over. Will you ring the bell that I may send this ? " Her manner still stung him, and he was not generous enough to own to himself how entirely he had forced it upon her. " You have taken the law into your own hands with a vengeance," he said bitterly, as he crossed the room. " Apparently I am expected to accept sentence without so much as being told the manner of my offending. Gloriously feminine, upon my word ! Warren, take this to the telegraph office." He held it another moment in his hand and turned to her. " You wish it to zo ? " 278 THE CAREER OE CLAUDIA. She bent her head, finding words impos- sible ; and when the man had left the room, Fenwick flung back and stood staring at her. " Well," h(i said imperiously, " I am wait- ing for an explanation." She shook her head. " Don't expect me to be satisfied with signs, I must have chapter and verse." It was Claudia's turn to be impatient. She sprang to her feet, her eyes passionately reproachful, her voice firm — " But I will not say more ! Words — words are absolutely vain, and yet you want them ; you want my thoughts and feelings put into shape for you to handle them. Don't you see, can't you see, that your very lack of power to do this for yourself shows what a gulf has opened between us ? If you loved me " — her voice faltered and recovered itself — " if you loved me, you would understand without words " She was going to call to witness her own power of entering into his feelings, but checked herself in time, for no tenderness in his manner had gained the rii^ht to wrino- admissions from her which she instinctively knew would be but food for THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 279 his vanity. That niq^ht, tossing sleepless, she had sworn that she would not let him learn how she had suffered, and to make sure of this kept her face turned from him, fancy- ing that he might read it there. But she raised her hand as she spoke, and when she broke off it dropped heavily by her side. "No, I don't pretend to be clever enough to understand you," he said sharply. " You judge me harshly, you draw unwarrantable deductions, and refuse either to hear me speak or to speak yourself How are we ever to hope to set matters right.'*" He stopped. The mere unexpected discovery that she could give him up, immeasurably raised her value, and yet at the same moment the thought of Helen Arbuthnot rushed into his brain. " I suppose," he went on more quietly, " you are vexed with some- thing I have done or left undone ? " "Is that it?" she asked faintly, with the same consciousness of tension in her speech — a tension which was growing well-nigh intolerable. " Perhaps — I don*t know — no, I think it is something much deeper. What- ever it is, I cannot change, but there need be no unkindness between us." 28o THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " Oh," he said scornfully, " you have the stock phrases at your fingers' ends!" And then his better anofel moved him to com- punction. " Claudia, forgive me ! " It was the old intonation, the old tender tone which could yet shake her like a leaf. " Don't say that," she stammered hastily ; " if — if it will make you happier, be sure I shall not ever think hardly of you. It has been what I said — a mistake — that is all. And there is one thing more," she went on in a stronger voice. " In these matters, I don't know, but I suppose the world always thinks that some one is to blame. I am that one, remember. It is I who have done it. Only, would you mind saying this to your sister yourself, and telling her that I must — I must go away to-day ? " He had turned from her, and was leaning against the mantelpiece, his head buried in his arms. Claudia stood and looked at him for one yearning moment, her face troubled, her eyes full of tears. Before he had time to answer she was gone. Fenwick neither spoke nor stirred. For a moment he was shaken by a strange rush THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 28 1 of feeling, pricked by an involuntary shame, conscious of something higher and better than himself. But the moment did not last. Other thoughts crowded thickly, and leapt into prominence. The habit of constantly appealing to his own personality, and measuring all things by their relation to it, the invariable dwarfing question which strangled nobler impulses, and could only ask, "How will this affect me?" rose up strong and strangling as ever. They made him hesitate, when generosity would have rushed the words, lest in their utterance he might say more than he would — later — find convenient. Self had through these instru- ments dominated his nature, checked his expansion, left him cold and self-conscious, made the nobler side of him hate himself While Claudia spoke, something within him urged quick response, words which should at least answer more adequately to the sweetness of her farewell, more bravely own his fault. But he had crushed the whisper, from a base dread of saying too much, and with the opportunity gone, the poorer part of him began to dominate again. She had voluntarily given him up, and an irritable 282 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. vanity, fastening upon this offence, swelled and fumed around it until all other issues were blotted from view. More than once in these latter days, he had been conscious of a wish that he could live over again those days at Huntingdon, but this was an altogether different matter from supposing that Claudia mioht also desire to reconsider them. He left his position, and, crossing to the window, stood staring blackly out of it, foreseeing many awkwardnesses, but without a thought for poor Claudia, who had flung herself face downwards upon her bed upstairs, and was sobbing passionately. Whatever pressure was put upon the wind- bag of his vanity only forced it out on another side. He was standing, immovable, in the same place when his sister came in. " Oh, Arthur ! " she exclaimed, stopping in the doorway. He did not look round. " Well, why ' Oh, Arthur ! ' ? " " Something has happened. I was certain something was going to happen. I wish I had not eonc out. You and Claudia have quarrelled." "Certainly not." He laughed shortly. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 283 " If you like, we have agreed to differ." He broke off, and added with the same abrupt- ness, " You've got to know, and you may as well know at once that it's all over — amicably, and probably for the best. Claudia goes back to Elmslie to-day, and the only thing for you and Lawrence to do is to hold your tongues." "That's very easy for you to say, but you must be aware that I shall have to give some sort of explanation," said Mrs. Leslie, with a sense of affront underlying her real dismay. "No, I am not aware. To whom ? " said Fenwick, facing round fiercely. " If the fools want to talk, let them ! " " Of course they will talk." " As I say — let them ! " Mrs. Leslie drew herself up. "You might be more civil, Arthur, con- sidering you have brought it on yourself. Pray do you suppose the situation will be agreeable for us ? " " Hang it all ! " he burst out. " Say what you like, then ! The plain truth is, as any one might see, that we're unsuited, and it's come home to her at last. There it lies in 284 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. a nutshell, and you may make what you can of it." " I saw it long ago." " I'll wager you did ! " " And," went on his sister coldly, " I can't wonder at the poor child discovering it too. You forced it upon her pretty clearly, you and Helen Arbuthnot." Fenwick, not displeased at this conjunction of names, moderated his tone. " There was nothing for her to fuss about, only a woman's jealousy warps her common sense. You'll see that some one goes with her ? " But this provision for her comfort Claudia resolutely declined. It had been only to please her lover that she had consented to be guarded by an escort on her journey to Aldershot, and now that she had no lover to please she would certainly go back in the manner she preferred ; she was not in the mood to forego one of her privileges, and Mrs. Leslie argued with her in vain. Free from personal vanity, she had much of the egotism of youth. She belonged to an age which was to reanimate the world, and to a cluster of girls who felt themselves THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA, 285 instinct with corporate force, and whose ignorance had this in it that was noble, that it at least stretched out eager helping hands, with passionate impulses for good. This strong hopeful faith, this assurance that they had to show the world how different a thing a woman's life might become from what it had been in the ages past when shrinking dependence was her distinguishing charac- teristic, had been cruelly wounded in Claudia as much by her own acts as by the verdict of others. If she had not suffered from obloquy, she had been dangerously near to being laughed out of court, and she had yielded ignominiously to almost the first touch of so-called love. Sore and shamed, she doubted ever getting back to her start- ing-point. Her career had been cruelly shorn of its dignity, and she felt, not only miserable, but commonplace. At any rate she could — she would take care of herself in the train. Once there, she could think more con- secutively, if more sadly. In the forlornness and humiliation of her experience, as unlike what she had pictured for herself as it was pos- sible for experience to be, her remembrances 286 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. turned gratefully to Elmslie ; nay, even linofered with a certain tenderness round the Thornbury home. From there, at any rate, no wounding had come, although it seemed to her, looking back, that she had been singularly aggressive and unaccom- modating. Mrs. Hilton's amazement had been modulated by her fine instincts of courtesy, and Harry — Harry, if he had been foolish, at least believed in her. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 287 CHAPTER XIX. ^i| NNE was in the drawing-room when ^^ Claudia reached Elmslie, Anne un- questioning and kindly. Claudia felt herself made welcome, and was conscious of a quiet atmosphere, grateful after the jar and turmoil of the past days. She was glad to rest in an easy-chair, to drink tea from the little old silver teapot which was the pride of Anne's heart, and to hear that Philippa and Emily had gone off to a garden-party. " Harry Hilton has been here," said Anne, occupying herself with cutting cake, "but he has gone." Claudia breathed relief She had dreaded to find Harry established. The telegram announcing her unexpected return must have given an inkling of what had happened, and she could not have endured the sio-ht of o his face, with possibly a reawakened hope 288 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. beaming in it. Now she could more freely tell her story. " Anne," she said, in a voice not quite steady, " I want to explain why I have come back." " If you like,'' Anne replied gently. " But you know this is to be home, without any need for explanations." " I know. And I don't think explain was quite the word to use, for I can't explain yet, even to myself. Only it is all over between Captain Fenwick and me." As Anne did not speak, she went on hurriedly, "You don't mind my not saying more, do you ? " " No, I don't mind," said Anne, with that warm inflexion of the voice which is like a caress. " I am only wondering whether it is quite right to leave you to fight your own battles sinorle-handed. Can nothing be done } " Claudia sprang up and went to the window. " Please," she said, with her back to her cousin, " I don't want sympathy." " Or help ? " " Or help." " Then you shall go your own way in peace," Anne said, smiling. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 289 "And one thine: more." Claudia came back to the table. " Whatever it is, you must understand that it is my own, absolutely my own doing." *' I understand. For," said Anne after- wards to Philippa, " when people are miser- able, the best one can do for them is to let them be miserable in their own fashion." " Is she miserable, or only sore ? " " Only sore ! " repeated Anne. " As if to be sore and shamed were not misery enough for a nature like Claudia's ! But I believe she really loved the man, and has been hard hit, poor child ! " " Well, it will do her no harm," Philippa announced. " What a pity it is that nothing of the sort ever happened to Emily ! " " Philippa ! " " To be sure Emily has never taken her independence fiercely, has never, indeed, taken it at all, but she has always sighed for it. If once the thing had advanced towards her, Emily would have screamed and run away, while Claudia has been so entranced with its charms that she has been ready to take shadow for substance. Harry, now, Harry's good stout sense would have allowed 19 2 go THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. her a long tether, but no doubt Captain Fenwick jerked the rope too sharply." Claudia's departure made no stir at Alder- shot, because it was supposed that her visit had come naturally to an end ; and if there were any who had gleams of suspicion as to the real cause, Fenwick was not a man to offer himself readily for questioning, and Mrs. Leslie took the opportunity of going away for a week or two. "Of course he and Helen Arbuthnot will make it up again, and then there will be a pretty talk ! " she said irritably to her hus- band. "Well, I am sick of Arthur's love affairs. I wash my hands of them for the future." " Helen Arbuthnot ? But isn't she en- gaged to young Pelham ? " " Oh, what of that ! " cried Mrs. Leslie, with a fine scorn. Two or three days passed, however, and nothing had occurred to justify her words. On the fourth, Fenwick and ]\Iiss Arbuthnot met at a dinner given at a commanding officer's quarters. They did not exchange a word until the end of the evening, when the guests strolled out into the garden. Pelham was not there, and if Fenwick had THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 29 1 watched for an opportunity, he took it, as usual, boldly. He walked straight to Miss Arbuthnot. " I must speak to you," he said. "Alone." She shrugged her shoulders, but made no objection. The night was hot, she wore a white dress, and round her throat had wrapped a scarf of a soft gauze, with silver threads running through it. In the moon- light these shimmered and flashed, and set off the rich brown of her hair. The reo-i- mental band was playing, otherwise it was strangely quiet for the neighbourhood of a camp. Presently they reached the limit of the turf, and Helen stopped. " Well," she asked abruptly, " what have you to say .'*" " How can I say anything when you speak in such a tone .-^ " he demanded. " There is a seat under that tree beyond." She walked on. " Are you aware that we are affordino- much food for remarks .^ " she said presently. He took no notice of her question. " I had to speak to you," he began ; " I want to be the first to tell you what has happened." 2 92 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. " It was scarcely necessary," she returned coldly. " After hearing that Miss Hamilton had departed, I could draw in the details myself. For that matter, I could have drawn them beforehand." " No doubt you could, considering how much you had to do with them," he said, with a lauQfh so self-assured that Miss Arbuthnot bit her lip. " I ?" " Yes. She was jealous of you, and I can hardly blame her." " Oh, I don't blame her at all." " Blame ? No. Why, I bless her. She opened my eyes. A little longer, and it mieht have been too late." "Oh no. That misfortune," said Miss Arbuthnot scornfully, "could never happen to you. A means of deliverance always offers itself in good time. And did she — Claudia, I mean — enjoy her mission } " She had stung him at last, for he moved fretfully. " You mi^ht understand that — that it was all painful, and I don't want to talk about it. The point is" — he used Claudia's words — • " that it is over and done with." THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 293 " Well, go on," she said, opening and shuttine her fan. " I understand that I am to keep my intelligence fixed on the fact that it is over and done with, and that Claudia's feelinofs belone to a side issue with which one has nothing to do. Go on." This time he turned angrily upon her. " You speak as if I had done the girl an injury. Granted that I was a fool — a double- distilled fool — would it have been for her happiness to have persisted in the folly ? " " No," said Miss Arbuthnot, in a low voice ; " it would not." " Then you own I was right ? " " Oh, don't make me your judge ! " she cried impatiently. " Right } I see no right from becrinnins: to end. But what of that ? What have I to do with it } ' He answered coolly, " Everything." She hesitated for a moment. Perhaps she was calling back her self-possession, which had been startled. At any rate, when she spoke again, it was more quietly. " This is interesting. May I hear more ?" " I mean you to. I said that Claudia was jealous of you. That was because she discovered my secret. Helen, it has been 294 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. madness, from beginning to end — our break- off, our fancying we had ceased to care, our taking up with others. Don't let us play any longer. My step is taken, take yours, and let us be married next month." " You mean," she said slowly, " I am to throw over " " Oh, that fellow ! " he exclaimed. " You're not engaged to him, you know very well, not seriously, and if you were, you care for me fifty times as well. Deny it if you can ! " " Oh ! " she said, with a gasp, " you think so : " Think } I'm as certain as that I'm here." His sense of mastery made him almost indifferent to pleading. Each sentence breathed triumph. Miss Arbuthnot caught her breath, and turned her face towards him. He went on — " People may — will — talk. Let them. Their hateful chatter will not affect us. Helen — dearest — " She broke in, and put up her hand. " No, no, stop, please ! We have not got so far as ' dearest.' Suppose we see where we are. Up to this point you have only THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 295 assured me of my own feelings. What of your own ? " " You know them, you must know them." " Excuse me, no. When last we discussed them I gathered that they were somewhat topsy-turvy, and you agreed with me that there had been a mistake. Now it seems there has been another, and you must own that it becomes perplexing." He made an impatient gesture. " Don't play with me, Helen, for I can't bear it. You're the only woman I ever cared for. There! Isn't that enough ? " With a movement so sudden as to startle him, she sprang to her feet, standing with her head thrown back, and the moonlight whitening her face. "No," she exclaimed passionately, "it is not ! Do you know that all your life, and all your love — such as it is ! — has hinged only upon what yoiL feel, what you want ? You have measured everything, balanced everything, chosen everything by that and that alone. But what of us ? I sometimes wonder whether you ever cast one thought at the poor puppets you set up, and whose hearts you demand. You want the flattery 296 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. of their love ; you have it and tire of it. Enough ! Toss it on one side, it is over and done with " He interrupted her with real amazement. "You can say this — Helen, you ? Over! Why am I here to-night ? " " Oh," she said with scorn, " because I have slipped out of your hold, and have suddenly become valuable. While you believed you had only to raise your finger to bring me back — at Thornbury, for instance — I was nothing, nothing ! But now, now that unexpectedly the power seemed slipping from you, you could not endure the loss. It was the same with that girl. Your vanity, your worst self, was piqued by her indiffer- ence, her reluctance ; you set yourself to win her, and when you had succeeded, she began to weary you. That was why I warned her. You believe, and she believes, that it was jealousy, but you are wrong — both of you. It was pity, profoundest pit)% and a wish to spare her something of — what I had felt myself." Against her will her voice trembled over these last words, and Fenwick caught the change. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 297 " Say what hard things you like," he cried triumphantly, " you love me still ! " Her voice, still not quite under control, sounded curiously dull, " No," she said. " You are mistaken. I do not." " Deny it," he broke in, with a short laugh, " deny it as you please, it is true. Come, Helen, you have had your say ; I don't know why you have turned yourself into her advocate, but I'm ready to admit I haven't treated Claudia well. In spite of your hard hitting, can't you see that it was you who drove me to distraction ? Suppose it had been too late." " It is," she said quietly. " You're not engaged ! " " I have been engaged a week." ** To that man ? " "To Mr. Pelham." He was silent, and she heard his hard breathing. When he spoke his voice was hoarse. " Well, you can't marry him." " Why not ? " "Why?" He laughed gratingly. "Women are inexplicable, but isn't there still some 298 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. sort of necessity to pretend that a little more than money is wanted for a husband ? " "You are right," said Miss Arbuthnot slowly. " Fortunately for me I need not pretend. I am going to marry Mr. Pelham because — I love him." There was a silence which lasted for what seemed to her an interminable time. Fenwick broke it with an effort. " We had better go back," he said. They walked across the moonlit grass, white flowers stood out starlike in the beds, and the band was playing very softly an air out of Hansel Mid Grethel. Suddenly he exclaimed, " You might have spared me this ! " "How?" " You might have let me know I had no chance." " Why did you take it for granted that you had ? " Miss Arbuthnot retorted coldly. " Oh, why ? " He flung the question back at her, and strode moodily on. But at the door he turned once more. " Do you really intend to marry him } " "The wedding-day is fixed." " Absurd !" he cried roughly. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 299 CHAPTER XX. S age creeps on, there are other deaths than those we mourn openly. Some- times hope dies, or faith, or love- — and from the infinite blackness of such loss, may God in His mercy keep us ! — sometimes it is ambition, or friendship, which is worse. But all death is sad, except, as perhaps we shall find, our own, for that should mean recovering again some good things which we have lost. Claudia went through several phases at this time. It was not extraordinary; most men and women do after a crisis, particularly a crisis which has in it anything humiliating. She fancied that her old occupation would give her interest, and forced herself into work- ing furiously at certain plans. When they failed, or seemed to fail, she lost heart, and be- lieved herself incapable. By way of expiation. THE CAREER OE CLAUDIA. she sat humbly at Emily's feet, printing hundreds of leaflets in the palest and most uninviting inks, and dutifully attended Anne when she paid visits in the Close, and, far from flaunting nineteenth-century aims in the eyes of her listeners, tried to fling herself into the pettiest of local interests. " If she goes on like this, by-and-by she will elope with the Dean, or do something equally sinful," announced Philippa one day as she snipped withered flowers in the garden. " I know," said Anne uneasily. " But I don't know what to sueeest. And I fancied she would be better for finding out for herself." " Get her to go bicycling again." " I suppose," Anne hesitated and sighed — " I suppose it would not do to have Harry } He is dying to come." " No, indeed. You prudent people are always the most reckless. We are all boring her to death just now, and Harry would be only another element of boredom. No ; the bicycle." It was not easy, because the bicycle had unavoidable associations, and also made part of a certain untold scheme of renunciation. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 30I But restlessness, together with an inevitable reaction from the life into which she was squeezing herself, came to Anne's help. The burdens we choose for ourselves often gfall and fret, while those which God lays on us are moulded to our use by the great Master's hand. The girl was growing sore and im- patient over her self-imposed tasks, and Philippa was right. For now she went off by herself, and fought hard battles under fresh windy skies, often through rain and storm, and came back with wet cheeks and uncurled hair, but with the old glow and brightness awakening in her eyes. " I told you so ! " cried Philippa, not in the least above that feminine weakness. " And I have another idea. She wants a play- fellow, and Harry shall send her a dog." " A dog ! " exclaimed Emily in dismay. " But you would never have one here on account of Belisarius." Belisarius was the cat, and he ruled Philippa with a rod of iron. " I think I could persuade Belisarius," she said, with a sigh. "He puts up with Vic, and I could make him understand that the dog was not ours." Claudia, sounded, expressed pleasure. 302 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. Nothing was said as to Harry's part in the affair until a very perfectly bred fox- terrier arrived one day from Thornbury, and then she admired him too much to have qualms as to his acceptance. It is true that she said hastily to Anne, " My taking this doesn't niean anything ? " And Anne could truthfully assure her that she was not the first person to receive a dog from Thorn- bury ; but without this assurance, she did justice to a certain generosity in Harry Hilton's character, which would prevent his trying to place her under an obligation. The dog was a greater success than the bicycle, partly from his merits, partly from an aptitude for getting into trouble ; not from disagreeableness — for he had a de- lightful temper, but from a cheerful joy in fighting for fighting's sake, which kept Claudia constantly on the alert. There was an awful battle on the first day between him and Belisarius, which laid a foundation of mutual respect, though it nearly killed Philippa ; and a sponge and hot water were invariably ready for Claudia, when she re- turned from a long bicycle ride. One day she surprised Anne by saying — THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 303 " I think I will go to Thornbury to- morrow, before the days get too short." " Do," said Anne. " You won't find Harry there." " No. I heard you telling Emily that he was away. I should like to see Mrs. Hilton and the trees." She carried out her intention, which was perhaps meant as much to give Fox pleasure as for any other reason. The morning was fresh, the sky whitening for rain. When she reached Thornbury, Mrs. Hilton's delight and distress expressed themselves with many a so. " My dear, it is so good of you to come ! And all that way ! Why, you must be tired to death, poor thing ! And it is so annoying that Harry should be away ! His father was a little better, and he had been waiting for an opportunity to run up to London, so he went, and will not be back till to-morrow. I am so sorry ! " " I knew that he was away. I came to see you, and I thought you would give me some luncheon." " Indeed I will. So good of you to think of such a thing, and on your bicycle, 304 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. too ! I have just had a letter from Helen Arbuthnot ; you remember her, don't you ? " Claudia's face was turned in another direction, " Yes," she answered. " Well, she has quite taken my breath away, telling me she is going to be married, poor thing ! and I hadn't the least idea of it. People are so sudden in these days, in and out of an eno-ao-ement before one has time to o o look round" — and then Mrs. Hilton began to flounder — " my dear — you must forgive me — I never meant — oh dear ! I wonder whether Mr. Hilton has had his paper ? " The moment had come, and Claudia, although she had paled, was scarcely con- scious of her companion's distress. She was nerving herself for the expected tidings. " Who does she say she is going to marry ? " she asked, in a voice which to her own ears sounded strange and unreal. Mrs. Hilton joyfully ran to this outlet. " I think it was a Mr. Pelham — somebody, I know, that I had never heard of — but it is in the Morning Post, so we can easily see. Huish "— to the butler — "we want yesterday's paper." The news sent Claudia's blood coursing. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 305 She found herself constantly wondering how it had come to pass, and what — for some- thing there surely must have been — had passed between Fenwick and Helen. It almost amazed her that it did not work a revulsion in her own feelings, as it seemed to show that, at least as to one point, she had jumped to a wrong conclusion. But she tried to keep before her eyes that on the principal point there could be no such mistake — he did not love her, he did not love her ; in their last interview he had not even pretended love. And though a pas- sionate heart cried out that it miofht re- awaken, pitiless sense told her that the dead do not come to life ao^ain — here. Such thoughts touched her, passed, re- turned, like a broken reflection on the water, while Mrs. Hilton's kindly talk gurgled on, exacting little attention. If Claudia failed in an answer, she set it down to the physical weariness of her ride, and yet, as she said afterwards, she had never liked her so much, or found her so gentle. " You know, my dear, she rather kept me on tenter-hooks when she was here before, for, to my old-fashioned notions, she was just 20 306 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. a little surprising, and I never quite knew what she was going to do next ; but yester- day she was as nice as possible, and seemed so glad to be here again, poor thing ! And she remembered all about Huish's rheu- matism, which I thought wonderful in such a young girl. We walked all over the place, and she did not say a word about cutting down more trees, so I hope she has got over that funny little craze. I asked her when she would come and stay here again, and she thanked me so nicely ! She said she would like it some day, but not just yet, and of course, poor thing ! it is very natural she should want a little quiet time after that sad business. I really could not have believed it of that pleasant Captain Fenwick ! " All this was spoken to Harry, who had but just returned from London, and who sat listening, his face in shade, and his arms on his knees. He was, as usual in cricket time, furiously burnt, and his laugh rang as cheerily as ever, though, his mother some- times fancied, not so often. Now he neither laughed nor answered her, and she Pfrew uncomfortable. " Perhaps I shouldn't have said that ? THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 307 Perhaps you would rather not have any one asked here just now ? My dear boy, it is easy enough to put it off a Httle. On no account would I do anything you dis- liked." He laughed now. An odd little laugh. "/shouldn't dislike it." After a momentary hesitation, he said, " I think you ought to know that nothinor on earth would make me so happy as her coming of her own free will to stay. But she won't." To say that Mrs. Hilton was astonished is to use an inadequate word. It is no less certain that she was dismayed, for no woman on earth appeared to her worthy to be her son's wife, and her " Oh, Harry ! " carried in it unusual protest. He went on quickly — "When she was here before I asked her to marry me, and she refused " " Refused ! " " — I don't know whether I shall ask her again. That depends. If I don't, one thing I know, I shall never marry another woman." " Refused you ! What could she be think- ing of ! " His mother's indignation brought his old o 08 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. laugh. He got up, and straightened him- self. " Well, I'm afraid it was that she didn't care for your son. Perhaps she never will. But she came over here to-day, and I don't mean to give up while there's the ghost of a chance." " A chance ! My dear Harry, ridiculous ! " cried his mother, impatiently. " But you take away my breath ! I never thought of such a thing. I am not sure she's good enough, I am not, indeed ! She is a pretty creature, of course, and one knows all about her, which is always a comfort, but she has such very peculiar notions. This going about on bicycles cutting trees. My dear, I couldn't bear that for your wife." " She will never do anything of which you and my father need be ashamed," he said shortly. " But her ideas " " As for her ideas, time enough to talk about them if ever she consents to be my wife. I should not interfere with them." Mrs. Hilton stood up, let all her knitting fall in a tangle on the floor, and laid a tremblincf hand on her son's arm. THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 309 "Harry!" " Yes, mother." "You mustn't be angry. You know that your happiness is our first, our very first thought." " I know," he said briefly. But he put his hand on hers. "You have been such a son to us — my dear" — she broke down a little — "may God bless you, and give you a good wife ! " Is not any man the better for such a benediction ? Whether the desire of his heart be granted or not, I think the strength of a mother's unselfish love carries it straight to the throne of God, and brings back a blessing, rich and plentiful. Harry had learnt wisdom, and did not rush off impetuously to Elmslie, as he felt inclined. He stayed away, indeed, so long that Philippa began to grumble, and Claudia to feel guiltily that she was depriving her cousins of their favourite visitor. She had made an unsuccessful effort to get work through the principal of the college, but either her late experiences had shaken their faith in her ; or the authorities preferred giving orders to those who needed them 3IO THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. more; or Claudia's first brilliant successes had been due to circumstances not so absolutely dependent upon her merits as she flattered herself. At any rate no orders came, and with winter at hand it did not seem likely that they would arrive. It was annoying, but one thing was evident to them all — Claudia's heart was not broken. The want of interest, the evident strain of her first return, were, little by little but no less surely, wearing off It could hardly have been otherwise, since, after all, she had been more dominated than attracted by Fenwick's strong personality, and once having snapped its bonds, her own character reasserted itself. There was, it is true, a danger lest the reaction of this self-assertion should be too complete, and leave her hardened. Perhaps it was the nature of her surroundinofs which saved her from the peril. For there was a fresh and whole- some vigour about Philippa Cartwright, an honest dutifulness in Emily, a true and delicate sympathy in Anne, which she could not but recognize, now that her eyes had opened to a broader view, and she was brave enough to own to her mistakes. The o THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 311 result was that her heart began to ding- to Elmslie, while she was still occupied with plans for the future. At last — " I think I will go abroad for three or four months," she announced to Anne one wet autumn day, as they trudged back from the town. "It would do me a lot of good to study some of the old Italian gardens. There's one in particular near Viterbo, laid out by Vignola. Will you come '^ " " Ah, I can't," Anne returned, shaking her head and smiling. " I have reached the point in life in which I know the world would collapse if I left Elmslie for more than a week. Ask Philippa. She's the adventurous one." " Well. Fox wouldn't like it, though." " We'll send him back to Thornbury." "And you could have Harry Hilton," mused Claudia. She gave an impatient shake. " How silly it all has been, and how many lives have been made uncomfortable ! I suppose if I went away he would be here as much as he used to be ? " " Perhaps he will come by-and-by even if you stayed." " No ; and if he did, he would be looking 312 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. or sayini>- something which I should hate. Unless you can make him understand that I shall never marry." Anne was silent, and employed herself in closing her umbrella. The rain had ceased, but there was a wintry wind, and yellow leaves lay rotting in the road. As they came towards the gate, they saw a man's fiorure emero-inor and Fox was off like a shot. "Harry!" cried Anne, and with such delight that Claudia stifled her own dis- pleasure. She was displeased, because she expected a renewal of all that she disliked, but as the days went on, she was obliged to admit that Harry behaved admirably. That she was first with him — always — she could not fail to see, but neither word nor look forced the knowledsfe to her embarrass- ment. By degrees she unstiffened, and fell back on their old friendliness. Nor did he stay long. Perhaps to have done so and yet have made no sign, might have been beyond his powers, but, be that as it may, Claudia accepted his unexpected silence as proof of a stronger character than she had credited him with. Nor, now that she did THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 313 not obstinately close her eyes, could she fail to see how in trouble or difficulty of whatever kind, it was to Harry that the trouble was taken with absolute confidence in his helpfulness. On the whole, Anne hoped he had rather made ground than lost it. Philippa and Claudia went abroad that winter, travelling in sun-baked out-of-the- way places in Italy, perhaps even more to Philippa's delight than Claudia's. Philippa wrote to her sister that the girl showed no sign of wishing to shock people, "but she seems resolved to pick up her work again when she returns to England, and is studying eagerly. The note-book, however, seldom steps into prominence, and I have never heard the word ' career.' I remark that she is careful to check all interests that show signs of undue development." In the course of the early spring, news of Mr. Hilton's death came to the travellers, and then Philippa, who had hitherto avoided talk of Harry, allowed herself to launch forth into an account of what he had eiven up for his father's sake. " And the poor man so irritable ! I dare 314 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. say it was caused by illness, but really he made every one's life a burden. Harry's patience was not to be told." Claudia expressed no opinion, but she listened. Further, she sent a message to Mrs. Hilton and her son, and, that being over, appeared to forget them. She and Philippa left Rome in April, and travelled so as to reach London by the middle of May, going for two or three days to a hotel in South Kensington. There, on the morning after their return, Harry Hilton walked in. This time the girl showed no displeasure ; it seemed to Philippa that she looked at him with an air of reflection. Philippa herself hailed him with delisfht. " I am so tired of taking care of myself ! " she announced one morning, " and as Claudia allows me no conveyance more luxurious than a 'bus — in which she flatters herself she is paying homage to Socialism — I am thankful to have a man to find the right one." Claudia laughed gaily. " There's a mission for you ! " He did not seem to object. He went THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 315 everywhere with them, and Philippa, reading in his face that he meant again to put his fate to the touch before long, grew nervous herself, uncertain whether to utter a warning or not. She dropped the idea, but it touched her to the quick when she pictured a second rebuff Their last morning they spent in the Park, where the rhododendrons were breakino- into flower. Philippa met with an old friend, and Harry suggested to Claudia that they should stroll on and look at the Serpentine. She assented without hesitation, yet, as they silently walked, side by side, something in the silence set her heart fluttering, and, to her amazement, she became conscious of a painful want of breath. She would have given a good deal to have spoken, to have gone back, but she dared not trust herself, for the strange excitement, for which she could not account, was depriving her of her self-possession. Just before, she had been calm, talking to Harry with the ease of an old friend, and now something — she knew not what — had raised an unexpected tumult, and swept the rudder out of her hand. There was a din in her ears, and 3l6 THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. suddenly she heard his voice, hoarse and chancjed — " Only give me one crumb of hope to live upon. Claudia, can't you love me ? " Could this be love ? " Oh, impossible ! " she cried, almost angrily. " Why impossible ? " he asked, persistently fighting for an answer. " I told you at Thornbury " "But now — now " He pressed her impetuously. " I can't ! You mustn't ask me." " I must, I must ! " Something was creep- ing into his voice which she had never heard there before, something at which her heart fluttered, her voice failed. " You forget what has passed." " Passed ! What is that to me ? Claudia ! " " I must live my own life — I should shock your mother — your belongings." He caught her hands in his, and his honest eyes looked into hers, heedless of passers-by. " Mine ! " he cried joyfully. " Mine at last ! " So — while there is no resurrection for a THE CAREER OF CLAUDIA. 317 dead love — love, fresh and living, often steals into our hearts from unexpected hiding-places, and makes them his own. And, so long as this can be, our old world, weary and suffering, blossoms again into rosy youth, and tastes the joy which is eternal. THE END. PRINTED BY WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED, LONDON AND BECCLES. G., C. &^ Co. "'"■Mini mil mil mil iiiiuiiniii UNIVERSITY OF CALIFOR MIA T luri i«»-- University of California SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 305 De Neve Drive - Parking Lot 17 • Box 951388 LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 90095-1388 RetumthismaterlaU^^ m^^rS UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY PLEA«=?: DO NOT REMOVE THIS BOOK CARD i AA 000 382 374 7 < 1 S=2 >^il(braryq^ ^ University Research Library 7^ .•«! 5 :,K^ 1 b' ^,■•;^■ * m hk^^ § s ''■ Ie9i;iii^ H ■?>, '"^ ■^ ■?* i'l^l ftr.'.