F. B.BAN 
 

 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 

COL JlIDSON OF AUBflMS: 
 
 OR, 
 
 A SOUTHERNER'S EXPERIENCE . 
 AT THE NORTH. 
 
 7/f 
 
 BY 
 
 F. BEAN, 
 
 AUTHOR OF " PUDNEY & WALP.* 
 
 UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY, 
 
 SUCCESSORS TO 
 
 JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY, 
 150 WORTH STREET, CORNER MISSION PLACE, 
 
 NEW YORK. 
 
COPYRIGHTED, 1893, 
 
 BY 
 UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY. 
 
 All Rights Reserved, 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. PAGE 
 
 A Wicked Advertisement, 5 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 The Colonel makes the Acquaintance of a Yankee School 
 masterA Superfluous Chapter, 24 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 Miss Tillie Courts the Colonel, 37 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 The Gipps Family Resolve to know the Colonel's Secrets, 48 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 The Gipps Family at Fire Island, . . . ..'.-. .59 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 The Adventures and Misadventures of the Gipps Family 
 
 in the Catskills, .82 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 The Colonel and the Boarders at Van Tassel's, . . . 121 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 The End of a Grand Speculation, 154 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 The Boaders Keep Trampling on the Colonel's Political 
 
 Corns .164 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 In Love with a Southern Girl, 174 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 The Colonel Objects to a Republican Son-in-law, . . 180 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 Miss Eva Marries a Mugwump, . . . . . 192 
 
 550165 
 
COL. JTJDSON OF ALABAMA; 
 
 OR, 
 
 A Southerner's Experience at the North. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 A WICKED ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 ANTED By a Gentleman, a large, handsomely fur 
 nished, well-ventilated room where people are not 
 inquisitive. Address A. B. C., Herald Uptown Office. 
 
 ONE hand held the advertising-sheet of the New 
 York Herald, that unveiled mirror of the ways, the 
 actions, the weaknesses, and the wickedness of man; 
 the other grasped a large silver fork. 
 
 On the table were the ample viands of a bountiful 
 breakfast, and, close at hand, one of the attentive 
 waiters of a first-class New York hotel. 
 
 The stranger read the advertisement with absorbed 
 interest twice through, then laid the sheet aside and 
 concentrated his attention upon his breakfast with a 
 gratified sense of relief. He could now see his way 
 out of his perplexity. This advertisement, which his 
 eye had accidentally fallen upon while waiting for his 
 order to be filled, had, in one moment, enlightened him 
 as to the customs here at the North. 
 
 He would put an advertisement precisely like that 
 in the Herald himself, as soon as he left the table. 
 
6 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 But, he meditated as he buttered his muffins, what 
 a commentary it was, though, upon the inquisitive- 
 ness of the Yankees, when people were obliged to ad 
 vertise like this ! What a state of society ! What an 
 insult the Southern people would feel implied in such 
 language ! But here at the North what else was a 
 man with an important secret to do ? He shrank from 
 writing the unpleasant words; but of course the peo 
 ple here must be used to it. 
 
 As soon as his breakfast was over, he rose from his 
 chair, a giant in stature, the Herald still grasped in 
 his hand. He was a colossus, broad-shouldered, full- 
 chested, with a fine, open, intellectual face, a well- 
 shaped head covered with dark, thick, glossy hair 
 slightly inclined to curl, and here and there besprinkled 
 with gray a head poised with quiet, imperial pride, 
 while his eye and mien denoted one accustomed to 
 power, authority, and deference ; and wherever he went 
 he accepted the homage of the people around him as 
 his heritage, for he was Colonel Judson of Alabama. 
 
 Before the war he had been in the Legislature of his 
 State, and had always been a leading man in local 
 politics. There had been a time when he could ride 
 five miles on his own land; and with his gold-headed 
 cane across his saddle-bow he was everywhere de 
 ferred to by whites and blacks and addresed as " Colo 
 nel " far and wide, though his title was derived solely 
 from his splendid physique, his aristocratic bearing, 
 and his magnificent possessions. 
 
 Like the rest of the Southern patricians, the Judsons 
 were ruined by the war; but poverty could not abase 
 them, privation could not humble them. Hiding their 
 sorrows from the world, they lived in seclusion, main 
 taining always their opinions, their prejudices, their 
 self-respect, and their dignity; and the colonel re- 
 
A WICKED ADVERTISEMENT. 7 
 
 mained, as he had ever been, one of those Southern 
 combinations of pride and generosity, haughtiness and 
 graciousness, fire and mildness a man versed in all 
 the graces of society, yet simple and ignorant of the 
 common affairs of life, recognizing no world beyond 
 the South, full of magnanimous pity for an admired 
 acquaintance who had had the misfortune to be born 
 elsewhere, and scarcely able to believe the sun and 
 moon shone over the bleak hills of the North as over 
 the rich fields of the South. 
 
 He was here now from necessity; and with his usual 
 magnanimit3 r , he looked about him with generous com 
 passion upon the unfortunate inhabitants among whom 
 he felt himself a man apart, almost a foreigner, by 
 reason of every difference that can exist between man 
 and man a difference emphasized now by his present 
 peculiar position. For a generation or more it had 
 been traditional in his family that they possessed an 
 unclaimed property interest in the city of New York 
 involving several entire blocks of houses in the most 
 populous part of the city, and which, in their halcyon 
 days, either indolence or innate family pride had pre 
 vented their following up. But the daily discomforts 
 of their present condition becoming more and more 
 intolerable, the colonel at last had come North to es 
 tablish his own and his family's rights and, if possible, 
 retrieve his broken fortunes, placing his affairs in the 
 hands of a prominent law firm ; and it appeared to be 
 necessary that, for the present at least, he should re 
 main here strictly incognito -a course to him annoy 
 ing and degrading, he was so open, so candid, and so 
 scornful of everything mysterious, suspicious, and 
 equivocal. 
 
 Thus it was he felt a perfect nightmare of secrets 
 resting on his soul; and while considering the situa- 
 
8 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 tion at the breakfast table the next morning, his eye 
 fell on that wicked advertisement. 
 
 But his mind once made up, he finished the meal with 
 absolute peace, then went to his room, slavishly copied 
 out the wicked advertisement, only substituting differ 
 ent initials, and took it himself to the Herald office. 
 
 It was already nearly midsummer, and the patrons 
 of furnished rooms having nearly all gone to the coun 
 try, heartlessly leaving their landladies to pay their 
 rent the best way they could, these wretched people 
 were too desperate to be o'er-particular, in hot weather, 
 as to how they made ends meet, and the colonel next 
 day found himself offered his choice of " large rooms/' 
 "airy rooms," "rooms with hot and cold water," 
 " rooms with southern exposure," which were univer 
 sally guaranteed to be " in a first-class neighborhood," 
 with " all conveniences " and " every comfort assured." 
 And it was noteworthy that a large number neither 
 asked nor offered references; but, on the contrary, he 
 was assured that his would-be landlady would not be 
 inquisitive, and was variously promised "perfect inde 
 pendence " and " absolute freedom." 
 
 Omnia bona bonis. The colonel, in his majestic sim 
 plicity, perceiving no evil in any of these communica 
 tions, started forth on a tour of inspection, and at 
 about half-past five o'clock in the afternoon finally 
 engaged what he believed to be a very comfortably 
 furnished room on the second floor of a neat brown- 
 stone house occupied by one Mrs. Gipps, widow woman, 
 and her daughter, Miss Matilda; and after having, 
 as he flattered himself, thoroughly inspected the prem 
 ises he entered into possession that self-same night. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, assisted by Miss Gipps, whom he had 
 not yet met, welcomed him at the front door, Mrs. 
 Gipps struggling to look uninquisitive, and Miss Gipps 
 
A WICKED ADVERTISEMENT. 9 
 
 doing her best to look youthful and unsophisticated, 
 while the elder lady sympathetically expressed the hope 
 that he would like his room and that he would find 
 everything- in order. 
 
 Early the next morning, these two models of uniei- 
 quisitive landladies, while busy at work and even more 
 busy at discussing their lodger, heard a sound for 
 which they had been intently listening all the morning, 
 and for which all their senses were keenly on the alert. 
 
 The front door closed. 
 
 They were both of them, at that momentous junc 
 ture, in the basement kitchen, where they had been 
 engaged the past half-hour in the honest employment 
 of taking in the morning's milk and the rolls for their 
 frugal breakfast and in making their coffee over a gas 
 stove. 
 
 Rushing in breathless haste to the window, and 
 peeping forth from behind the blinds, their eager, non- 
 inquisitive eyes beheld their stalwart lodger, his se 
 crets, his very name, locked within his breast, walking 
 rapidly toward Sixth Avenue mayhap in quest of a 
 breakfast. This long-expected , long-watched-f or event 
 they would have awaited in the parlor where they 
 might have heard the very first foot-fall in the room 
 above, but that the cool and appropriate attire de 
 manded by the rude labors of a sultry morning de 
 lightfully comfortable, loose, brown gingham sacks 
 and nether garments of striped seersucker not designed 
 by the manufacturer for a lady's outward vesture 
 scarcely enhanced the beauty of the younger lady or 
 sustained the dignity of the elder; but their lodger 
 having passed beyond their gaze, they hastened up the 
 stairs with all the expedition possible, in their large, 
 comfortable slippers that threatened to drop off at 
 every step, and repaired forthwith to his sleeping-room. 
 
10 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " He hasn't unpacked, that's sure ! " cried Miss Gipps, 
 rushing to the bureau and pulling out first one empty 
 drawer and then another. 
 
 " And his trunk is locked ! " cried Mrs. Gipps, " and 
 it's full yet," she added, trying- to raise one end. 
 
 " There's nothing in the pantry either, only a coat 
 and a dressing-gown ! " wailed Miss Gipps. 
 
 " And where's his night-shirt ? " shrieked Mrs. Gipps, 
 staring in dismay at the bed. 
 
 " He must have locked that up, too ! " screamed Miss 
 Gipps. 
 
 " Now, you see, it is just as I said ; that wa'n't his 
 name, and he daren't unpack, for the marks on his 
 clo'es ! " cried Mrs. Gipps in tones of deep conviction. 
 "His name's no more Colonel Flushing than mine 
 is!" 
 
 " Here's a book ! " cried Miss Gipps, taking up a vol 
 ume that had served the colonel for a writing-desk, 
 when to their great delight what should fall out but a 
 letter that he had written the night before ! 
 
 " Read it! " screamed the mother; and the daughter, 
 obeying her parent's virtuous demand with alacrity 
 had deciphered enough to learn that it was addressed 
 to " My dear Cornelia," that there was some mention 
 of " my lawyers," and still more of " my landladies," 
 the younger of whom he described as " a young lady 
 of cold manners, possessing the usual Northern traits 
 of frigid, passionless beauty," and that he was resolute 
 in defeating Yankee inquisitiveness, when she paused 
 excitedly to discuss the fragments she had puzzled out. 
 
 "He expresses himself elegantly, I'll say that for 
 him 'she possesses all the usual Northern traits of 
 frigid, passionless beauty ! ' Yes, that's just me, right 
 out ! Well, everybody says men are always attracted 
 by their opposites ; and I'm sure he's a perfect type of 
 
A WICKED ADVEKTISEMENT. 11 
 
 a Southerner, so dark and languishing-. I judge he 
 could love desperately ." 
 
 " Well, he's right up and down positive about not 
 letting anybody ask questions; so what we find out 
 we've got to find out without asking him, or he'll be 
 leaving," interjected the mother. 
 
 " He must be rich," murmured Miss Gipps, from over 
 the letter. " You see he's got lawyers, and he says," 
 she screamed, " ' I gave the name of Colonel Flushing 
 my maiden name, you know.' " 
 
 A ring at the door-bell interrupted further perusal 
 of the letter, which Miss Gipps hurriedly replaced in 
 the book as- she had found it; and with her old shoes 
 loudly clacking at her heels, the frigid, passionless 
 Northern beauty fled to her room, while Mrs. Gipps 
 hastily slipped into a dress and went to the door. 
 
 It was, as she had divined, the colonel, who had just 
 bought some envelopes and missed his letter. 
 
 " Ah, good morning, madam," he cried, shaking her 
 hand with cordiality. " I regret having been obliged 
 to ring the bell. I trust you will pardon my negli 
 gence in not asking you for a latch-key." 
 
 " Oh, you are very excusable indeed," replied Mrs. 
 Gipps, graciously. " I'll get you a key as soon as ever 
 I can. Tillie! Tillie!" she called up the stairs, with a 
 great affectation of parental fondness, " where is there 
 a key for the colonel ? I'll get you one by the time 
 you come in again, Colonel. I expect Tillie ain't up 
 yet. You know young people sleep so late ! " 
 
 The colonel thanked her and hurried up-stairs for 
 the letter. He had great hopes that it had not been 
 found; for Miss Tillie, it appeared, was not yet up, and 
 Mrs. Gipps had only too plainly not quite finished her 
 toilet when she opened the door. He found his room 
 exactly as he had left it; the letter was in the book, and 
 
12 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 he thankfully concluded that it had not been dis 
 covered. 
 
 He placed it in his pocket and again passed out with 
 out encountering any one, Mrs. Gipps, being- afraid he 
 would discover their examination of his letter, having 
 taken refuge in the kitchen ; and Miss Tillie, conscious 
 that her frigid, passionless Northern beauty was ill 
 set off by a seersucker petticoat and clacking shoes, 
 being still in her room peeping down the passage-way 
 for a glimpse of her handsome admirer. 
 
 The colonel departing, the young lady came forth 
 and joined her mother in the kitchen, where, with much 
 animated and diverting conversation concerning the 
 lodger and his secrets, and many passionate regrets 
 that they had not been more expeditious about read 
 ing the letter, they ate their breakfast; after which 
 Miss Tillie left her mother to finish up the work, say 
 ing, "You know it's more important for me to be 
 dressed than you/' and went and exchanged the seer 
 sucker petticoat for a white cambric dress and blue 
 ribbons, and seated herself by the parlor window to 
 watch for the colonel's return. 
 
 The bell rang about half-past one o'clock, just as 
 Miss Gipps had gone down into the basement for her 
 dinner, but with beating heart she flew back to open 
 the door. The colonel nearly failed to recognize her. 
 
 " Ah ! I beg your pardon ! Miss Gipps, I believe ? " 
 
 "Miss Tillie, sir," amended the young lady, smiling 
 with 3 r outhful archness, and displaying two rows of ex 
 tremely beautiful teeth teeth that had a secret history 
 of which she knew the colonel little dreamed. 
 
 "Ah! I beg your pardon, madam. How are you 
 this morning ? It is a very hot day," and the colonel 
 grasped her hand and pressed it with all the ardor 
 habitual to him in all his greetings with white men 
 
A WICKED ADVERTISEMENT. 13 
 
 and women, but which the young lady accepted as an 
 other token of his admiration. 
 
 She replied to his observation about the weather, 
 that indeed it was an awful hot day, adding with deep 
 solicitude : 
 
 " Ma and me, Colonel, have been worrying 1 ourselves 
 almost to death for fear you might get sunstruck." 
 
 " Oh, no fear of that," replied the colonel, and then 
 once more apologizing for ringing the bell, he again 
 begged the favor of a latch-key. 
 
 " Why ! hasn't ma given you a latch-key yet ? Well, 
 I declare ! I'll see you get one right away." 
 
 By this time the colonel was half-way up-stairs, and 
 Miss Gipps, foregoing her dinner in her fear that he 
 might escape while she was in the kitchen, seated her 
 self in the parlor before the door. As he reappeared, 
 she intercepted him in the hall, and, having no other 
 reason or excuse for addressing him, said : 
 
 " I've just ast ma for a latch-key, and she's going 
 to order one for you right away." 
 
 " Thanks ! thanks ! " returned the colonel, hastening 
 away. 
 
 " Have you long to stay out ? " anxiously pursued 
 Miss Gipps. " It's so dreadful hot you hadn't better. 
 I'm afraid you'll get sunstruck, indeed I am ! " 
 
 " Oh, never fear ! I was born in a hotter climate than 
 this." 
 
 " Oh, you don't know," solemnly replied Miss Gipps. 
 " I knew a Southern gentleman once. He came North 
 in summer time just like you have, and he was sun- 
 struck; and all because he thought he couldn't be." 
 
 "Ah! indeed!" 
 
 "Yes, it's a fact! I knew that gentleman myself. 
 You'd better put up your umbrella." 
 
 "Thank you! -thank you! I shall. Good morning, 
 madam." 
 
14 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 The colonel speedily vanished ; and Miss Gipps went 
 exhilarated and elated down into the kitchen to pur 
 sue her interrupted dinner. 
 
 " Say ! " was her first exclamation to her mother, 
 " he's ast for a latch-key ; but I don't want you to give 
 him any. I want to let him in myself." 
 
 " Mebbe he'll get one made/' suggested Mrs. Gipps. 
 
 "Let him; and then I'll lock the door," calmly re 
 turned the young lady. " I guess my head's level. I 
 wish he wouldn't call me ' madam/ It makes me seem 
 so old. I wonder if Southerners always call young 
 ladies ' madam.' It's horrid ! " 
 
 " What was you talking about so Ipng ? " 
 
 " Dear knows ! " replied the daughter, with an os 
 tentatious pretence of reticence. " I could hardly get 
 away from him. He's very chatty. Told me how the 
 heat affected him, and talked for a while about the cli 
 mate he was born in, down South. Then next we got 
 on to the subject of being sunstruck; and so it went 
 on from one thing to another, till I thought he never 
 would stop. I never had anybody take so much no 
 tice of me on such short acquaintance before in my 
 life! Goodness! how he did squeeze my hand! And 
 wouldn't let go of it, either, till I know my cheeks 
 must 'a' been crimson. I cautioned him to put up his 
 umbrella to keep the sun off, and he seemed real pleased 
 at me thinking of it. But I don't see what he could 
 be going out for again ?" she added, with a troubled, 
 far-off look. "He changed his coat, and just as he 
 was going he took out a pocket-handkerchief, and I 
 thought I saw a name on it. There! why didn't I 
 think to go up to his room and see if he left anything 
 in the pockets of the coat he took off ! " 
 
 Without further delay, Miss Gipps left the table 
 and hastened to make amends for this strange re- 
 
A WICKED ADVERTISEMENT. 15 
 
 missness on her part, exclaiming excitedly on her 
 return : 
 
 " Well ! I've made one big discovery. There wasn't 
 anything in any of his pockets but a package of 
 stamped envelopes, a pair of cotton gloves, and yester 
 day's Herald. But I found out something for all! I 
 thought I would just stop and look over the Herald 
 a minute. I wanted to see the matrimonial advertise 
 ments; and I found two marked ! See there! He must 
 have marked 'em to answer; so now you see that ' dear 
 Cornelia ' must be a sister or some relation or other." 
 And Miss Tillie displayed the paper which the colonel 
 had picked up somewhere already adorned with the 
 pencil marks aforesaid. 
 
 " This is yesterday's Herald" she added. " He must 
 have marked these advertisements before he came 
 here. So I needn't care. I don't believe he'll foller 
 'ern up now. But I don't see what he could be going 
 out for again in the heat," she added anxiously. " It 
 doesn't seem possible he could be going to see any 
 other person after talking to me so pleasantly." 
 
 " You put too much dependence in him," said the 
 mother, emphatically. "He's a man, and this is New 
 York City!" 
 
 "Yes," responded Miss Tillie, "but I guess my 
 chances are as good as anybody's!" 
 
 " I wonder," murmured the mother, like one thinking 
 aloud, "if he would miss one of those envelopes; I 
 am going to write to that Dickel that used to have a 
 room here and ask him to drop in some evening." 
 
 "What for?" cried the daughter in astonish 
 ment. 
 
 " I was thinking Dickel would go to talking with 
 the colonel about the South he was there so long; 
 and mebbe the colonel would get to talking, and we 
 
16 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 could find out more about him and you know how 
 awful inquisitive Dickel is!" 
 
 "I didn't think of that!" cried Miss Tillie, joyfully. 
 
 Several days passed, and. no new discoveries had 
 been made, when the Gipps family received a visit 
 from a stranger who gave Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie 
 some new data with which to carry on their specula 
 tive conversations regarding the colonel's private 
 affairs. 
 
 The visitor was a tall, spare man, in a straw hat, a 
 blue neck-tie with white dots, an alpaca coat, and 
 dark-blue baggy trousers somewhat faded. He had 
 a pale, bloodless face, covered with patches of dark- 
 brown freckles, and a sparse, straggling red beard on 
 his cheeks and chin; his hands were large, bony, and 
 freckled; and his large open eyes and contracted lips 
 gave promise of seeking more information than he im 
 parted. 
 
 Poor Mrs. Gipps immediately took the man for a 
 detective; and there certainly was something pene 
 trating and inquisitorial in the stranger's gaze as he 
 fastened his cold, gray eyes upon her frightened vis 
 age, and inquired if there was a Southern gentleman 
 stopping there. Then he called himself " we," as if he 
 alluded to the detective agency to which he belonged, 
 and said such a person had been " traced " there. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, in great alarm, declined to answer the 
 question till she had called her daughter in consul 
 tation. She would only say she had lodgers, of course 
 she always had lodgers that was the way she got 
 her living; but, as to whether there was anybody in 
 the house that hailed from the South, she couldn't 
 think just that momenb she would speak to her 
 daughter. 
 
 Miss Gipps swept into the room, with her superior 
 
A WICKED ADVERTISEMENT. 17 
 
 intellect, her modern ideas, and her youthful spirits, 
 and arrogantly demanded the visitor's reasons and 
 motives for seeking this information. Suppose there 
 was a Southern gentleman staying there, what then ? 
 Did the visitor know him, and what did he want of him, 
 what was his name, his business, and what did he know 
 about him ? 
 
 The supposed detective declined to impart any in 
 formation; he only wanted to know if a Southern gen 
 tleman was staying there. 
 
 Miss Tillie declined to say, and the supposed detec 
 tive then proposed a compromise. If he could be per 
 mitted to look at the gentleman's baggage, he would, 
 perhaps, arrive at the information desired; in which 
 case, if it was the right party, he would let them know 
 who and what he was. 
 
 This proposition plunged Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie 
 into a complicated train of thought. If the colonel 
 was wanted by the authorities, they would lose their 
 lodger, but they would know his secrets. 
 
 They retired for private consultation, the result of 
 which was they found that it was quite impossible to 
 resist the temptation, come what might, of finding out 
 something, and they resolved to show the man into 
 the colonel's room. 
 
 Miss Gipps was standing by the mantel-piece, near 
 the colonel's trunk, watching with vigilant eyes for 
 every change in the stranger's countenance as he en 
 tered the room, looked at the trunk with a professional 
 eye, and then knelt clown before it to examine the lock. 
 
 " What's this ? I hear clockwork inside," he ex 
 claimed. 
 
 "Clockwork!" cried Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie in 
 alarm. 
 
 "Who were this man's referees?" abruptly de- 
 
 2 
 
18 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 manded the crafty stranger, gazing 1 into the stricken 
 faces of the Gippses with an air of grave suspicion. 
 
 " His his referees! " stammered Mrs. Gipps, in deep 
 embarrassment. " Why would you think I ought to 
 ast for reference? He advertised for a room and 
 and he was such a perfect gentleman, and a Southerner, 
 too " 
 
 " Now, ma," quickly interrupted Miss Tillie, " you 
 don't know whether he's a Southerner or not; he never 
 said he was." 
 
 " I never said he was a Southerner," screamed Mrs. 
 Gipps, in confusion. " I said I didn't ask for references, 
 though perhaps I ought to, but I guess I forgot it, 
 unless you ast, Tillie; did you?" 
 
 "I don't recollect," haughtily retorted Miss Tillie. 
 " If I did, I don't remember now who he referred to; 
 and, besides, it's nobody's business but ours." 
 
 " Well, my God ! " exclaimed the man, with an affec 
 tation of astonishment and excitement that nearly 
 frightened Mrs. Gipps into surrendering her lodger 
 into his hands, " how do you know but he's a dyna 
 miter ? Good God ! don't you know about that fel 
 low Thomasson, who had clockwork like this in his 
 trunk to blow up a steamer with dynamite? This 
 man might be a Russian nihilist or an Irish conspira 
 tor or a German socialist. Can you unlock this trunk 
 in any way ? Or if you haven't any way to do it, sup 
 pose you let me try a bunch of keys I have here ?" 
 
 "I I don't know what to say," stammered Mrs. 
 Gipps; " I suppose I could send out and get some keys 
 or you might try what you've got." 
 
 "I shouldn't advise you to undertake any such 
 thing!" quickly interrupted Miss Tillie. "Dynamiter 
 or no, we don't want to get into State prison unlocking 
 other folkses' trunks," she added, thinking within her- 
 
A WICKED ADVERTISEMENT. 19 
 
 self, however, that it was an idea they might act upon 
 in private. " What good would it do the man to blow 
 up our house, I'd like to know?" she continued, turn 
 ing fiercely upon the stranger. " He'd set all his own 
 clo'es afire and might be killed himself." 
 
 The stranger, who had no idea that the ticking ma 
 chinery came from anything more murderous than a 
 little clock, and had entirely different reasons for 
 desiring to open the trunk from the one professed, 
 merely replied that, if this was the man he was after, 
 he didn't pretend there was any likelihood of his blow 
 ing up his landlady's house by design. 
 
 "But dynamite is very uncertain stuff," he said. 
 " Besides this, you might have the police after you for 
 harboring the man. He is a tall, large, broad-shoul 
 dered, dark-complexioned man, isn't he ? " 
 
 " You've ast that twice a'ready," sharply cried Miss 
 Tillie, before her mother could commit herself. "You 
 don't show us no authority to come here and pry into 
 our affairs; and if I was ma I'd show you the door." 
 
 Mrs. Gipps quailed at these courageous words of her 
 daring offspring; but the stranger heard her with im 
 perturbable tranquillity, and, not in the least embar 
 rassed or offended, he took his departure; and Miss 
 Gipps and her mother, in high excitement, discussed 
 the event. 
 
 They were unanimously of the opinion that the man 
 was a detective; but concerning the question as to 
 what the colonel had been doing that a detective 
 should be after him, they at first differed widely. Mrs. 
 Gipps was taken in about the dynamite and thought 
 the colonel must be some great political refugee; and 
 she was as afraid as death to stand within a dozen 
 yards of the suspected trunk. But Miss Tillie laughed 
 the idea to scorn. The detective, she declared, had 
 
20 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 been put on the colonel's track by some woman's jeal 
 ous husband that was the whole story; and what he 
 wanted to open the trunk for was to steal the woman's 
 letters ! 
 
 "Well, well, well!" cried Mrs. Gipps, "I never 
 thought of that ! I don't believe that ticking- comes 
 from anything- more'n a clock. Well, what are we go 
 ing to do ? " 
 
 Miss Tillie was wrapped in meditation. She was 
 anxious to put the colonel on his guard against the 
 detective, or else he might be suddenly compelled to 
 seek safety in flight, but then here was another diffi 
 culty. Should they inform him of the man's visit, he 
 might remove to other quarters and they would lose 
 him anyhow. 
 
 " I don't think we had better say a word about it 
 just yet a while," said Miss Gipps decisively ; " less wait 
 and see what'll turn up." And her mother acquiesced. 
 
 In the course of a few days, standing on the front 
 steps of the Gipps mansion at about half-past one 
 o'clock in the afternoon, watching the magnificent fig 
 ure of the colonel who had just left the house, Miss 
 Tillie saw a man with sparse red whiskers, a white 
 straw hat, blue, baggy trousers, and an alpaca coat 
 step out from under the awning of the drug store at 
 the Corner and walk slowly after their lodger. 
 
 Miss Gipps, thrilled with the excitement of the ad 
 venture looming up ahead, seized her hat from the 
 hat-rack in the hall, snatched her sun umbrella, and, 
 without other preparation, started in pursuit. 
 
 The colonel proceeded on his way unconscious of the 
 army in the rear, and turned down Sixth Avenue, 
 closely followed by the red-whiskered man, who was 
 closely followed by Miss Gipps. 
 
 The colonel walked slowly down the avenue one 
 
A WICKED ADVEETISEMENT. 21 
 
 block and entered a small, unpretentious, economical 
 restaurant. 
 
 The red -whiskered man followed the colonel, and 
 Miss Gipps followed the red-whiskered man. 
 
 The colonel was already seated at a round table in 
 the centre of the room facing the door when his pur 
 suers entered, and, although his polished manners and 
 refined countenance contrasted sharply with his hum 
 ble surroundings the soiled table-cloth, the swarms of 
 flies, the slovenly waiters, and the plebeian patrons, 
 yet there was nothing in his demeanor to indicate his 
 consciousness of this as he politely gave his order to a 
 waiter with a very dirty apron and an equalty dirty face. 
 
 The red-whiskered man slipped into the seat nearest 
 the door and ordered something cheap; but Miss 
 Gipps, who by this time had finished pulling on her 
 mitts, swept into the middle of the room, bowed gra 
 ciously to the astonished gentleman at the round table 
 in the centre, and made a feint of seating herself at a 
 side-table near by, when the colonel arose and invited 
 her to his own table. 
 
 The man with the sparse red whiskers the colonel 
 did not observe ; nor did this individual appear to ob 
 serve him. 
 
 Miss Gipps, with a fine affectation of delighted sur 
 prise, accepted the colonel's invitation. 
 
 She didn't want anything to eat, she excitedly de 
 clared; she hadn't any appetite; but she would just 
 take a porter-house steak, Saratoga chips, some sliced 
 tomatoes, a glass of iced tea, some red raspberries and 
 Vienna rolls; and she was very particular about hav 
 ing some chipped ice on both the tomatoes and rasp 
 berries. 
 
 After giving this little order, she turned to the colo 
 nel, exclaiming with quivering voice: 
 
22 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " Colonel, you don't know what brings me here! " 
 The colonel courteously expressed his unqualified 
 ignorance and his entire readiness to listen to the ex 
 planation. 
 
 " Well, Colonel, I don't know what you'll think of 
 me taking- so much interest in in you ! Colonel, do 
 you see that red whiskered man down there by the 
 door ? " 
 
 " Yes, I see a man with red whiskers near the door." 
 " Well, Colonel, just consider," she continued in a 
 sensational whisper, " whether there is anj^body in this 
 city or anywhere else that would set a detective on 
 your track! " And the colonel gazed from her to the 
 man and back to her again in gentlemanly astonish 
 ment. Miss Gipps was encouraged to proceed with 
 her sensational narrative. " I saw him, Colonel," she 
 cried impressively, "I saw him with my own eyes fol 
 lowing you along the street, and that's why I started 
 after. Dear me ! I never was so frightened in all my 
 life. I was ready to die ! Colonel ! I beg of you to 
 take care of yourself! " 
 
 " I am exceedingly obliged to you, madam, for the 
 pains you have taken to inform me of this 
 " Ah, Colonel, I'd have kept up the chase ten miles! " 
 "I am exceedingly obliged; but I know of no reason 
 why this man should be designedly following me. 
 Here is your lunch. I see by the papers there is music 
 in Central Park this afternoon. You ought to go out* 
 you and your mother. The air would do you good." 
 
 "Ma never cares to go; and as for me, I don't want 
 to go alone. I'd like to go. I've been dying to go to 
 the Casino all summer; but ma doesn't want to go 
 and I can't go alone of course. I wanted to go to the 
 Lyceum last week more than I can tell you. But how 
 can I go ? I would dearly love to go out to Central 
 
A WICKED ADVERTISEMENT. 23 
 
 Park Garden, too, some evening and hear Gilmore's 
 band; but I can't go alone." 
 
 " No, certainly not what a glorious thing it will be 
 for your sex when the millennium comes! All men 
 will then be gentlemen, and all women ladies, and you 
 can walk the streets at midnight without harm or re 
 proach." 
 
 "O Colonel! what a lovely idea that is now! But 
 the millennium hasn't come yet, and what's a body 
 going to do till it does ? " 
 
 " You must have patience, faith, hope, and courage." 
 
 By this time Miss Gipps, being a rapid and diligent 
 eater, the greater and better part of the porterhouse 
 steak had disappeared, together with all the chips, 
 tomatoes, raspberries, rolls, and cold tea, and they rose 
 from the table; while the red- whiskered man near the 
 door, who had had a great ado to make his economi 
 cal repast of wheaten grits and milk outlast the lady's 
 sumptuous meal, also rose and followed them. 
 
 "Colonel! O Colonel! that man's behind us!" cried 
 Miss Gipps, in the colonel's ear, tugging hard at his 
 arm. 
 
 " I thank you, madam, for your thoughtfulness," re 
 plied the colonel, without noticing the fellow. " It is 
 really quite immaterial whether he follows me or not," 
 he added, though vaguely wondering whether the man 
 might not be an emissary of his legal opponents. 
 
 " Colonel, you musn't get reckless," murmured Miss 
 Gipps, solemnly, in his ear. 
 
 The colonel returned with her as far as the corner 
 where he took a street-car, and Miss Gipps started 
 toward home; not, however till she had seen the man 
 with the red whiskers follow the colonel into the car. 
 
24 COL. JUDSON OP ALABAMA. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE COLONEL MAKES THE ACQUAINTANCE OF A YANKEE 
 SCHOOLMASTER A SUPERFLUOUS CHAPTER. 
 
 IF the Gipps family had bargained away their in 
 herent right to ask questions when they answered their 
 lodger's peculiar advertisement, their visitors were cer 
 tainly not bound by any such cruel stipulation; and, 
 as they had both declared, they knew if Mr. Dickel 
 missed asking- the colonel anything he wanted to find 
 out, it would be something new for him; hence their 
 polite invitation for him to drop in and spend the even 
 ing, and make the acquaintance of a Southern gentle 
 man he was so partial to Southern people an invi 
 tation of which he availed himself in due course of 
 time. 
 
 Mr. Dickel was a little man, with a leonine, ferocious 
 aspect about the face and head due to a remarkable 
 growth of hair which rolled back from his forehead in 
 thick, wavy, iron-gray masses and fell around his neck 
 in a shaggy mane, while a huge, bushy, curling mus 
 tache reached below his jaw and mingled with the 
 hair of his head about the neck; heavy, jet-black, 
 shaggy eyebrows formed full semicircles over a pair of 
 very large, bulging, black eyes, giving him a peculiar, 
 but very disagreeable expression, which, attracting 
 toward him the prolonged gaze of every one he met, 
 confirmed and strengthened his opinion that few per 
 sons on earth equaled him in importance. The backs 
 
A YANKEE SCHOOLMASTER. 25 
 
 of his hands possessed the same hirsute nature as his 
 face and head, while his attire evinced a mind superior 
 to the trivialities and vanities of dress. 
 
 In a state of nature, Mr. Dickel was crabbed, mo 
 rose, and hard to please; but a little palaver, a little 
 egregious flattery, would convert him, for a brief while, 
 into a mood of simpering amiability. He was a man 
 of but slender education, although in early life he had 
 been a schoolmaster and had lived as such in various 
 parts of the South. But limited as was his learning, 
 he was yet pedantic, dictatorial, and dogmatic, esteem 
 ing himself the superior of almost everybody and the 
 peer of all the rest. 
 
 This perfect man, when he was down South, was 
 always telling the people down there that there was 
 no place fit to live in but the North; nothing was ever 
 done right anywhere else, nothing made right, noth 
 ing cooked right, nothing tasted right. But when he 
 came back home, he as stubbornly maintained that he 
 wished he had stayed in the South. Down there he 
 never caught cold, the climate was " elegant," the 
 people agreeable, and everything was done to suit him. 
 In short, Mr. Dickel was always down on present com 
 pany, on existing things, on everything that those 
 about him liked. 
 
 The only praise he was ever known to utter of any 
 body or anything was spoken of the absent to make 
 present company feel their deficiencies, or to show up, 
 by contrast, the defects or imperfections of something 
 he was tr3 7 ing to run down. As to his politics: in the 
 company of Democrats he was a red-hot Republican, 
 aggressive and insolent; in the society of Republicans, 
 he was a Democrat of the most pronounced type, 
 standing up for everything the ^Republicans were down 
 on; and whether posing as Democrat or Republican, 
 
26 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 everybody that belonged to the other party was not 
 only a fool but a villain to boot. 
 
 No sooner did Mr. Dickel's big, bulging-, black eyes 
 rest upon the handsome features and colossal form of 
 the high-bred, courtly Southerner, than all his usual 
 antipathy for present company was aroused ; and the 
 ceremony of introduction having been performed, he 
 threw himself airily into an arm-chair, and thus as 
 sailed the peaceable stranger: 
 
 " Well, sir, I lived in the South quite a number of 
 years! I natter myself, sir, I know a little something 
 about you folks down there and your peculiar insti- 
 tootion that was, sir!" 
 
 " Ah, indeed, you have been in the South ! " politely 
 returned the colonel, ignoring the indelicate allusion 
 to the " peculiar institootion that was." 
 
 " Yes, sir, I was in the South before the war, quite 
 a number of years; and I have been down there a 
 couple of times since. I was there, sir," he cried, rais 
 ing his voice to an oratorical pitch, his vehemence in 
 creasing, " when you folks made traffic of human flesh 
 and blood, sir," and here his hairy fist came down hard 
 on the arm of the chair. " And I was there," he con 
 tinued, " when you were undergoing the well-merited 
 penalty of your hid jus crimes, sir ! " 
 
 For one moment there was a flash of indignant as 
 tonishment in the Southerner's eyes; but his superior 
 breeding triumphed. He attempted no reply and 
 Dickel rushed impetuously and relentlessly on. 
 
 " Well, sir, I used to have m&ny a long argument 
 with you folks down there before the war (I came near 
 getting tarred and feathered!); but I never could con 
 vince a slaveholder that slavery would ever be abol 
 ished and that there was any sin in that institootion. 
 That had to be licked into you folks down there, sir, 
 
A YANKEE SCHOOLMASTER. 27 
 
 by Northern muskets and Northern cannon. Well, 
 sir, I saw what slavery was; and what I always pre 
 dicted came to pass slavery was abolished, the black 
 man was freed, and the South to-day and ever since 
 the war, has been undergoing ju-st what I prophesied 
 she has been getting her deserts ! It's awful, terrible, I 
 know the disorders, the anarchy, that reigned there : 
 but can't you see, yourself, sir, the hand of God in all 
 that ? The Bible says, ' The Lord God is merciful and 
 gracious and long-suffering, but by no means clearing 
 the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon 
 the children, and upon the children's children unto the 
 third and fourth generation.' " 
 
 "Then," replied the colonel, "why should the North 
 not suffer with us ? It was our common ancestors who 
 sanctioned and legalized slavery North as well as 
 South. The Constitution of the United States, which 
 guaranteed not only slavery, but even protected the 
 slave-trade for a limited period, was framed by dele 
 gates from both sections, and was adopted by all the 
 thirteen colonies." 
 
 " Ah ! but you Southerners," cried Dickel, " held on 
 to slavery after all the rest of the Christian world got 
 their eyes open and saw the sin in its right light. 
 England abolished slavery in her colonies in 1834. 
 The serfs of Russia were emancipated by imperial 
 ukase in 1842; while here in the United States the 
 South alone refused to give up slavery. In the North 
 it was prohibited by one State after another, although 
 it had been practically dead here long before. Our 
 people here didn't wait for the State to step in and 
 take their slaves away." 
 
 " That was very shrewd," replied the colonel, " and 
 it appears to me that it was very easy to abolish slav 
 ery when it no longer existed. The North, as you say, 
 
28 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 did not free her slaves on their owners' hands. The 
 prohibition of slavery in the North emancipated no 
 slaves. They had already been sent South and sold, 
 for the simple reason that slave labor could not be 
 profitably employed here. During the long, cold win 
 ters of the North, there was not work enough to pay 
 for their maintenance ; in fact, even in the slave States 
 it had long ago been found that breadstuffs and the 
 staples of the North could not be profitably cultivated 
 by slave labor: hence in Delaware slavery was nearly 
 dead before the war; so also in Maryland; in Virginia 
 it was fast dying out, and, in time, had it been allowed 
 to die a natural death, it would have receded South 
 along the entire border. In the far Southern States, 
 where the labor of the slave was profitable on the cot 
 ton and sugar plantations, and where no other labor 
 was to be had but that of the blacks, it would, of 
 course, have made a stand; but when it existed only 
 in so small a number of the States of our Union, the 
 consciences of a majority of our representatives in 
 Congress would doubtless have awakened to the sin 
 the crime of slavery as did those of the representa 
 tives in your State legislatures here at the North, 
 when, with the Southern planters' money for their 
 slaves in their pockets, they framed bills and amend 
 ments to their constitutions for the prohibition of 
 slavery; and so, in the same way, slavery would have 
 been abolished by Congress the only legal way to 
 have accomplished the object under republican insti 
 tutions." 
 
 " Oh, well," cried Dickel, " but there would have been 
 a great howl from the slave-owners. They would 
 have claimed pay." 
 
 "Certainly; England paid, so did Russia; and the 
 South paid the North let not that be forgotten the 
 
A YANKEE SCHOOLMASTER. 29 
 
 South paid the North for every one of the slaves which 
 the Northern people emancipated by sending 1 them 
 South to be sold under the hammer ! If the Southern 
 planter asked to be indemnified, it would have been 
 but justice to him that he should have been. I should 
 be at a loss to understand that state of a man's con 
 science or that sense of justice that would allow him 
 to sell his slaves to another, and then, with the money 
 in his pocket, go into Congress and set free those very 
 slaves which the other had bought and paid him for, 
 and then refuse the latter all compensation. The 
 Emancipation Proclamation of Abraham Lincoln can 
 only be justified as a war measure. It was a crushing- 
 blow at the Southern Confederacy, and as such alone 
 can it be defended either from the standpoint of the 
 statesman or the Christian. If Lincoln himself had 
 not so regarded it, why did he so long- defer it in de 
 fiance of the ardent wishes of so many of his most 
 zealous friends and supporters and in spite of the pres 
 sure brought to bear upon him by the swarms of aboli 
 tionists who flocked around him, openly expressing- 
 their disgust and indignation at what they esteemed 
 his half-hearted interest in the cause they championed, 
 even to the extent of charging- him with treachery and 
 pusillanimity ! " 
 
 " Well, sir, if that is so," replied Dickel, " the war 
 was a great blessing to the poor nigger. You may say 
 slavery was dying out, but I saw no signs of it when 
 I was down there. The Southern people didn't look 
 upon the negroes as human beings. Gracious heavens ! 
 when I think about it, I wonder how such a large num 
 ber of people could be g-ot together to uphold and per 
 petuate such a monstrous institution ! " 
 
 " We of the South were born to slaverj 7 . We inher 
 ited the institution from our ancestors, and from your 
 
30 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 ancestors of the North. If we saw its defects and 
 drawbacks, we saw no escape from it. The blacks are 
 the only laborers we have in the South; and there ap 
 peared no possibility of securing the labor of an indo 
 lent, shiftless, improvident, and capricious race except 
 by holding them in bondage a course universally be 
 lieved to be as necessary to their own welfare as vital 
 to the interests of their masters. Thus we justified 
 the institution. We were used to it. We saw it 
 among our virtuous neighbors and our respected and 
 beloved friends; and we went to our churches and 
 prayed to our God and slept without a fear of the 
 Judgment." 
 
 " That's very true ! " cried Dickel, excitedly. " You 
 couldn't see slavery as a sin. You had to have that 
 idea licked into you by Northern guns and Northern 
 bayonets! When I was down there I used to be all 
 the time arguing and trying to persuade you folks of 
 your errors ; but arguments were good for nothing, and, 
 as I said, I came near being tarred and feathered. It 
 took powder and cannon balls to clear out your minds 
 and sharpen up your understanding. I couldn't help 
 being amused when I went down there after slavery 
 was abolished to see how gunpowder had changed 
 men's opinions. Some of the very men I used to argue 
 with about the wickedness of buying and selling human 
 beings were ready to admit that the South was better 
 off without slavery that it was cheaper in the end to 
 hire their laborers when they wanted them and turn 
 them off when there was nothing to do, and not be 
 compelled to support the young, the old, and the sick, 
 and to bury the dead." 
 
 " You discern some of the advantages which the in 
 stitution secured to the negroes, I perceive, Mr. Dickel," 
 interposed the colonel. " The slave knew no hard 
 
A YANKEE SCHOOLMASTER. 31 
 
 times, was never thrown out of employment, never 
 forced to go on a tramp and beg- his food from door to 
 door, never lived in dread of the almshouse or Potters 
 field, even as the result of his own idleness and im 
 providence." 
 
 " Well, sir, I see you still uphold the institootion," 
 returned Dickel, satirically. 
 
 " No," replied the colonel, decisively. "Slavery has 
 been the curse of the South. The whole burden of the 
 iniquity of our common ancestors, which, according to 
 your Biblical edict, should have been visited upon the 
 whole land, has fallen upon the South alone. The 
 North had experimented with slave labor and aban 
 doned it as unprofitable; yet the South alone has paid 
 the dreadful penalty for every black man torn from 
 the wilds of Africa and brought here to be enslaved." 
 
 " You forget the war the blood and treasure that 
 slavery cost the North," interrupted Dickel. 
 
 " By no means," replied the colonel. " The war cost 
 the North many lives and limbs; but her treasure 
 remains. The war gave boundless prosperity to the 
 North ; but the South was ruined, bankrupted. Con 
 sider her terrible condition when the war ended! 
 With no representation in Congress, no voice rising in 
 her behalf, abandoned by all the world, having just 
 issued from the deadliest of conflicts, financially shat 
 tered, the condition of her people was pitiable in the 
 extreme : and the North, discrediting the sincerity of 
 their promised allegiance, settled upon that long, 
 weary, suicidal policy qualified 'Reconstruction' a 
 policy born of excitement and passion for the idea 
 cannot, for a moment, be entertained that the ruin of 
 a once magnificent, noble people can have been the de 
 liberate aim of enlightened Christian statesmen." 
 
 " Congress handled you the best way it could," cried 
 
32 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 Dickel. " It was a pretty bad mess you'd got your 
 selves into. I don't know what better could have been 
 dotie with you. But I guess if you hadn't lost your 
 niggers you could have stood all the rest. There's 
 where the shoe pinched! But you folks down there 
 must get used to things and learn to work like we do 
 here in the North! Slavery is dead, thank Heaven! 
 and if there was no other proof of the sufferings it 
 wrought upon the negroes, it would be found in the 
 great joy with which they hailed their freedom/' 
 
 " That was because, to their ignorant minds, free 
 dom signified immunity from labor. Had they felt 
 the passionate desire for liberty which they are poet 
 ically imagined to have felt, many of them could have 
 bought their freedom. The field hands had their little 
 plots of ground given them by their masters where 
 they raised vegetables, fruits, chickens, and eggs, which 
 they sold for their own benefit ; in their evening hours 
 of leisure and holidays they cured moss for mattresses, 
 made horse-collars of bark and corn-shucks, baskets 
 and chairs of white- oak splits, and scrubbing-brushes 
 and brooms of corn- shucks, all of which they sold for 
 themselves. The men also sold the furs of animals 
 which they trapped and the fish they caught; while 
 the house servants and those in hotels were in constant 
 receipt of fees from guests. But one and all, they spent 
 their money in finery or childish indulgences. The 
 women bought gay parasols, bright kerchiefs, fancy 
 dresses, and ornaments; the men bought tobacco, har 
 monicas, banjos, jewsharps, accordions, and when they 
 could get it secretly, they bought whiskey and rum ; 
 and both men and w r omen bought candy and sweet 
 meats. Now conceive such a character as Mrs. Stowe's 
 Dred, burning for liberty and spending even the small 
 est part of the price of his own freedom in a jewsharp 
 
A YANKEE SCHOOLMASTER. 33 
 
 or an accordion ! Such characters never had actual 
 existence anywhere in the South." 
 
 " Well, sir ! well, sir ! " cried Dickel, " the poor darkey 
 is a pretty bad fellow according to your story ! " 
 
 "It is to Northern illusions concerning the negro 
 and his sufferings," continued the colonel, disregarding 
 the interruption, " that the war and its terrible conse 
 quences were mainly due. I am sure the Northern 
 people of to-day, looking back from their present 
 knowledge of the negroes as they see them now in 
 their own midst, must feel acutely the difference be 
 tween the negro of romance and the negro of reality." 
 
 " Well, sir, well, sir ! " cried Dickel, " to hear you, one 
 would think we had the war to fight all over again. 
 But, thank Heaven, the poor negro is a freeman and a 
 citizen, sir; and Congress has enacted wise laws to 
 protect him against the malevolence of the Southern 
 people and to insure him their respect." 
 
 " Men cannot be legislated into the respect of the 
 world," replied the colonel. " Give a man a champion 
 and he feels that he has an oppressor; a defender, and 
 he feels that he has a grievance. The only effect of 
 such legislation is to deepen the enmity and antag 
 onism between the two races; to increase the arro 
 gance, the turbulence, and the dissatisfaction of the 
 blacks, and to intensify the hatred of the whites, with 
 out securing to the negroes any real advantage, 
 social, political, or industrial. It keeps alive the mem 
 ory of fancied wrongs, and inspires those acts of vin- 
 dictiveness and lawlessness that arouse at once the 
 terror and the hatred of the whites. The blacks of 
 the South actually accept every law passed by Con 
 gress for their especial protection as a new license to 
 commit depredations and atrocities on their former 
 masters. No advantage has accrued to them thus 
 3 
 
34 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 far from such legislation in their behalf, except the ad 
 vantages derived from their acts of rapine, violence, 
 and the lowest, vilest cunning- which these laws en 
 courage. It was all unnecessary, useless, and in the 
 highest degree impolitic considered both as to its effects 
 on the sore feelings of the conquered people of the 
 South and upon the ignorant blacks, who could not 
 rightly understand its true import; and it was dan 
 gerous to society both in its immediate and its remote 
 effects on the relations of the two races." 
 
 " Well, well/' cried Dickel, " it is astonishing to see 
 what hostility you Southerners manifest toward every 
 measure of the government for the improvement of 
 the condition of the poor nigger when you should show 
 your appreciation of its clemency toward you rebels 
 by steadfast loyalty and by every act of patriotism 
 within your power." 
 
 " What were the first measures of the government 
 to restore the empire of the Union over the hearts of 
 the Southern people ? Was it to be accomplished by 
 the infliction of the Freedman's Bureau, that modern 
 inquisition that sowed the seeds of discord between 
 the negro and his former master in every Southern 
 household ? Was it to be accomplished by sending down 
 upon us the buzzards of the North to prey upon us 
 without pity and without remorse ? to reign over us 
 like the satraps of the East over a crushed and fallen 
 people ? to insult, humiliate, and oppress us daily men 
 of low affinities, of degraded habits, utterly without 
 shame, without conscience, without fear of a reckon 
 ing, and indifferent to public opinion ? Or was it to be 
 accomplished by imposing on us, at the instance of 
 Northern cormorants, the shysters of the Tombs to 
 sit as judges in our courts, to recover, by partisan de 
 cisions and corrupt judgments, the ante-war claims of 
 
A YANKEE SCHOOLMASTER. 35 
 
 Northern merchants which had trebled and quadru 
 pled by time and costs ? Or did the government think 
 to arouse the enthusiasm and gratitude of an impover 
 ished and despondent people by its imposition of a bur 
 densome tax on cotton at a time when they had no 
 representation in Congress? Or was it expected to 
 foster patriotism and to awaken rejoicings for the sal 
 vation of the Union by the provisions of the Civil Rights 
 Bill, and by the premature enfranchisement of the 
 negro whereby he was enthroned over his former mas 
 ter and became a lawmaker while he was yet a law 
 breaker, and was enabled to sit in legislative halls 
 though ragged and barefoot, and unable to read the 
 ballots that elected him ? The Northern mind can 
 never conceive of the terrible sufferings of the South 
 ern people in those dreadful days when our domestic 
 hierarchy was broken up and our muscles were taken 
 away from us ; and it seems as if the government de 
 signed to drive us to desperation, not to conciliate us." 
 
 "You brought it all on yourselves!" cried Dickel. 
 "You brought it all on yourselves! There's nothing 
 jolly about war! But you folks down there, you fired 
 the first gun don't you forget that ! You can't point 
 to the sufferings you brought on yourselves as any 
 excuse for your want of patriotism. Congress handled 
 you the best way it could." 
 
 " Surely never was state-craft less scientific. Every 
 measure for the reconstruction of the Southern States 
 utterly failed to accomplish the one object for which a 
 government is necessary the peace and tranquillity 
 and prosperity of the people. Yet surprise is expressed 
 that we are not become fervid patriots because we 
 were not all caught and hanged." 
 
 " I am afraid, sir," cried Dickel, " that you are a sad 
 pessimist. One would think, to hear you, sir, that the 
 
36 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 government had done nothing to give you folks a lift, 
 and that the whole South had gone to the demnition 
 bow-wows. Slavery is dead, sir, and that's all you 
 folks down there have got to howl about; and you'll 
 have to learn to work and make the best of things like 
 we do here at the North." 
 
 " Yes, slavery is indeed dead," responded the colonel; 
 "and certainly it must have died a natural death at 
 some time in the future; but its violent, untimely, 
 unnatural taking off has entailed untold misery upon 
 the white people of the South misery from which it 
 will take more than one generation to recover." 
 
 "Well, sir," cried Dickel, rising to take his leave, 
 " Ave'll have to have another war, I guess. I have been 
 a schoolmaster in my time; when I had an unruly 
 boy I thrashed him; when I got through, if he under 
 took to remonstrate or complain of his punishment, I 
 thrashed him again." 
 
 The colonel had risen with the visitor, and, towering 
 like a giant above the little man, still mild and sub 
 lime, quietly answered : 
 
 " Let us hope we shall never have another such war, 
 Mr. Dickel. I am happy to have met you, sir. It is 
 well the people of the North and South should know 
 each other's opinions, and the point of view from which 
 these questions are seen." 
 
 "Well, sir," replied Dickel, pompously, "if you have 
 derived any benefit from the views I have promul 
 gated, it is a great satisfaction to me. You ought to 
 remember that slavery is dead, the Union has been 
 saved; and the sooner you folks down South get used 
 to things and knuckle down to work, the better. I 
 wish you good evening, sir." 
 
MISS TILLIE COURTS THE COLONEL. 37 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 MISS TILLIE COURTS THE COLONEL. 
 
 MR. DICKEL had no sooner taken his departure than 
 Miss Tillie, who had several times fallen asleep during 
 the long and tedious conversation between that gen 
 tleman and the colonel on the South and its institu 
 tions, and, in fact, had slumbered peacefully through all 
 the latter part of it, arose from her mother's shoulder 
 with some ill-disguised stiffness of the joints and tor 
 pidity of intellect, exclaiming: 
 
 "Gracious! I'm glad he's gone! I could hardly 
 keep awake hearing him preaching." And by this time, 
 having rubbed her face over several times with her 
 hands, she was quite awake, and added with rather 
 more of her usual sprightliness : " Colonel, there's no 
 use caring anything about what that Dickel says. 
 He's always bound to be contrary. Now just to hear 
 him talk about the South! How sassy he was! The 
 idea of his talking to you about slavery when you 
 owned slaves yourself! The sassy thing! Why, Colo 
 nel, do you know, one while I expected every minute 
 you would knock him down ! I've always heard South 
 erners were so fiery ! " 
 
 " My dear madam, you and your mother were pres 
 ent! Mr. Dickel could do or say nothing to cause me 
 to forget that." 
 
 " Ah ! but do you think," cried the young lady, with 
 spirit, " that ma and I wouldn't have been only too glad 
 to see you giving it to him ! " 
 
38 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " I feel that I ought to apologize for allowing my 
 self to prolong the conversation, which must have been 
 very wearisome to you and your mother/' 
 
 " Oh, not at all/' returned Miss Tillie, complacently. 
 "I'd rather hear gentlemen talk politics than talk 
 horse, any day. Only, if Dickel hadn't been so sassy. 
 Now, for my part I think I'd a good deal rather live in 
 the South than here in New York ; wouldn't you, ma ? " 
 
 " Yes," sleepily replied Mrs. Gipps. " I think I would 
 like it in the South." 
 
 "Yes, I'd like to go South very much, Colonel," 
 again cried Miss Tillie, confidingly. " Only think, ma, 
 to be where peanuts grow! And oranges, and figs, 
 and to see cotton growing! How queer! Colonel, do 
 peanuts grow on trees or bushes ? " 
 
 " Oh, neither ! They grow in the ground and are 
 plowed up like potatoes." 
 
 " Oh, goodness, how funny ! " cried Miss Tillie, in her 
 sweet, girlish way. " I guess that must be the reason 
 why some people call them ground nuts! And do 
 figs and oranges grow in the ground too, Colonel ? " 
 
 Now, Miss Tillie knew better than this, but she 
 wanted to look up into the colonel's face so childlike 
 and simple and receive his instruction. 
 
 " Oh no, indeed," replied the colonel; " figs grow on 
 trees which send up clusters of stems from their roots 
 all around the main trunk, and all bearing fruit alike; 
 and oranges grow on a tree about the size of a small 
 apple-tree." 
 
 " And how does cotton grow, Colonel; does that grow 
 on trees, too ? " 
 
 "No; cotton is a ligneous plant, and grows, accord 
 ing to the natural fertility of the soil, from three feet 
 to six and nine feet high, and is planted in rows, and 
 grows in stalks about a foot or less apart." 
 
MISS TILLIE COURTS THE COLONEL. 39 
 
 " And how does it look, Colonel, when it's growing ? " 
 pursued Miss Tillie, with a fine display of girlish inter 
 est and simplicity. 
 
 "Its flower, when first opening, is white, and turns 
 the second day to a beautiful pink. This becomes bolls 
 of cotton which grow to the size of walnuts in their 
 rind; when mature, the bolls burst and the cotton 
 locks hang out; and the parent stem is a continual 
 succession of blooms, green bolls, and open cotton till 
 the frost kills the stalk." 
 
 " Oh, how lovely ! How I would love to see it ! " en 
 thusiastically cried Miss Tillie. 
 
 "Yes; a cotton field in bloom is a beautiful sight, 
 with its white and variegated pink and dark-red flow 
 ers," replied the colonel. 
 
 " Don't sugar and molasses grow down South, too, 
 Colonel ? " pursued the young lady, with the same sim 
 plicity as before. 
 
 "We raise but little sugar-cane in Alabama; that 
 is a staple of Louisiana." 
 
 " Then, don't you know how it looks, Colonel ? " 
 
 " Sugar-cane growing looks like a corn-field, but the 
 foliage is much heavier and its stalks are stouter than 
 corn. The stem is succulent, and is cut down and run 
 through cylinders, the juice pressed out and boiled 
 down to molasses, out of which sugar is made." 
 
 "Oh my! how I do want to see all those things 
 grow ! " cried Miss Tillie, longingly. " How mean for 
 Dickel to talk so! I am just dying to go down South; 
 and nobody need ever be afraid of me associating with 
 the niggers ! Anything but that ! I just despise 'em 
 as much as ever you do, Colonel, and would always 
 hold them off at arm's length." 
 
 "Madam, you misunderstand me if you think I har 
 bor any animosity toward the negro. The Southern 
 
40 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 people could not hate the negro. We grew up with 
 them around us. We could not hate a race that pro 
 duced our fond aunties who guided our feeble steps in 
 infancy and answered, as far as possible, a thousand 
 childish questions. The negroes were not only a ne 
 cessity for the sordid benefits derived from their labor; 
 they dwelt in our heart of hearts. We could not hate 
 them. We only deprecate their perversion since their 
 emancipation." 
 
 "Well, Colonel, I know you don't like to speak out, 
 'specially here in the North. But with me you needn't 
 be afraid to say what you think. Now, I believe in 
 slavery, Colonel, and if I had my way I would make 
 every plaguey nigger in the country a slave again. 
 You needn't think I'm a Republican. I'm a dyed-in- 
 the-wool Democrat, and so I was all through the war, 
 and a secesh, too. But hear me talking about what I 
 was before the war as if I was a hundred years old 
 now ! " cried the young lady, with a sudden rush of 
 memory. " I was only the littlest mite of a tot then, of 
 course; but I've been a politician ever since I was that 
 high," and Miss Tillie designated the altitude of a di 
 minutive infant. " I was an awful forred little thing ! " 
 she added fondly. " You ought to 'a' heard me talk 
 politics when I wasn't more'n three years old, Colonel. 
 I had my opinions and talked like a patriarch." 
 
 " It must have been interesting indeed," replied the 
 colonel, " and would certainly have been appreciated 
 by a Southerner to hear words of sympathy from the 
 lips of a Northern babe." 
 
 " That's just it, Colonel. Even when I was a baby, 
 a little teenty tonty baby, my eyes filled with tears at 
 the wrongs done you poor Southerners; and if you 
 live in this house till doomsday (and I'm sure I hope 
 you will!) you'll never hear anything from me but 
 
MISS TILLIE COURTS THE COLONEL. 41 
 
 words of sympathy. You'll never hear me crow'n 
 over the South for being beaten. My heart fairly 
 bleeds for you to think of your losing so much. It 
 must have been awful, dreadful ! I wonder it didn't 
 drive you crazy." And, perceiving at last the golden 
 opportunity for finding out something of the colonel's 
 private affairs, she added, " I s'pose you must 'a' lost 
 a great many slaves." 
 
 " Yes," replied the colonel, " we were ruined by the 
 war. Even what was left to us after our slaves were 
 liberated we were despoiled of by raiders and by camp 
 followers wherever the victorious army swept through 
 the land. The Northern people have no conception of 
 what hardships, what losses, were entailed on the peo 
 ple of the South, not only by the army itself, but by 
 the rabble that followed in its rear." 
 
 " O Colonel, I wish you would tell me all about the 
 war and all you passed through, yourself," again cried 
 Miss Tillie, not yet in despair of finding out something. 
 " You don't know how much interest I take in any 
 thing about the South. Did you ever see Jeff Davis ? " 
 she pursued, to lead the colonel into his biography. 
 
 " Yes, I know Mr. Davis well," replied the colonel. 
 
 " Gracious ! " cried Miss Tillie, looking at him with 
 increased interest. 
 
 " A better, nobler man never breathed," continued 
 the colonel ; whereat Miss Tillie, in her astonishment 
 forgetting, for the moment, her rebel affinities, cried 
 out: 
 
 "Why, I thought Jeff Davis was an awful bad 
 man ! " 
 
 "My dear madam," returned the colonel, regarding 
 her with magnanimous compassion, " you have been 
 shamefully deluded by the misrepresentations of that 
 great and good man. Mr. Davis was a patriot, a 
 
42 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 statesman, and a noble-hearted Christian gentleman, 
 whom the whole South reveres." 
 
 " Oh, dear me ! what is one to believe ? " cried Miss 
 Tillie, striving to regain the colonel's good opinion. 
 " He must 'a' been an awful good man of course, or he 
 wouldn't V been at the head of the rebels. What a 
 shame for people to talk about him so, and all the 
 papers calling him an ' arch-traitor ' and ' Jeff Davis,' 
 and saying he ought to be hung, and he such a good 
 man ! " 
 
 " The time will come, my dear madam, when the true 
 merits of Southern grievances will be rightly under 
 stood and justly estimated by every intelligent North 
 ern man and woman." 
 
 And the colonel continued explaining away Miss 
 Tillie's Northern prejudices till that young lady was 
 satisfied that he was seeking to prepare her mind, in 
 advance, for spending the rest of her days with him 
 in the South reconciling all differences of opinion at 
 present existing between herself and him and the 
 Southern people amongst whom she was to pass her 
 future life. 
 
 " But I am afraid I am wearying you," he said at 
 last. 
 
 "No, indeed, you do not; you do not, my dear, dear 
 Colonel," warmly exclaimed Miss Tillie, gently placing 
 one white hand on the colonel's arm. "You don't 
 know how happy I am to hear so much about the dear, 
 dear Southern people. lam sure I shall love them! 
 You needn't be afraid, Colonel, if I go South to live, 
 that I'll ever get to quarreling with the neighbors. 
 I'm a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat, as I said, and as 
 much of a secesh as ever you were; and if I ever 
 marry, I'll marry a Southerner, or I'll die Tillie Gipps, 
 mark my words! " 
 
MISS TILLIE COURTS THE COLONEL. 43 
 
 " My dear madam," returned the colonel, warmly 
 clasping 1 the white hand that was still hovering over 
 his coat-sleeve, "I fervently hope I may be equally 
 successful in removing 1 the prejudies of many others 
 here at the North. The whole country can never be 
 reunited until we are all of one way of thinking- on 
 these subjects." 
 
 " You may well say that, Colonel," replied Miss Tillie, 
 not a little disappointed at the tenor of the colonel's 
 speech, and that he had relinquished her hand already; 
 but hoping that it was not yet too late to bring him 
 to the point, she added quickly : " What more could a 
 woman say than what I have said, Colonel, when I say 
 that I am resolved to marry a Southerner or die in 
 single blessedness ? " And again the white hand fell 
 gently on the colonel's coat-sleeve. 
 
 " I think," replied the colonel, " 3 7 ou could not empha 
 size your sympathies for the South more strongly than 
 by that; for man and wife must be of one mind. You 
 could not therefore more beautifully indicate your 
 thorough adoption of Southern sentiments than by 
 this declaration." 
 
 "Colonel, I agree with you," returned Miss Tillie. 
 " You are right in saying a man and wife must think 
 alike. As the poet says, 
 
 ' Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as 
 one.' 
 
 You see I have adopted all your opinions. I don't be 
 lieve you could utter a single idea that I wouldn't 
 think right off was all law and gospel. So don't be 
 afraid I shall ever differ with you." 
 
 "It is most gratifying to me to hear you say so, 
 madam," replied the colonel. "I believe I possess the 
 usual amount of human egotism ; and to feel that my 
 opinions are adopted so readily is a very short cut to 
 
44 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 my heart, I assure you, my dear friend/' and at this 
 point the colonel clasped her hand again, adding, " I 
 beg you to accept ' 
 
 Suddenly poor Mrs. Gipps, who, all this time, had 
 been soundly sleeping with her head poised in an ex 
 cruciating position on the back of the sofa, startled both 
 the colonel and the young lady, and awakened herself 
 by a most unmusical inspiration of the circumambient 
 air, and Miss Tillie, turning quickly toward her mother 
 as the colonel released her hand, cried out: 
 
 " Well ! . If here isn't poor, dear ma, sound -asleep ! 
 Mamma! mamma! wake up! wake up!" 
 
 The colonel, having by this time entirely forgotten 
 what he was about to say, or indeed that he was about 
 to say anything at all, apologized for remaining with 
 them so late and politely withdrew, when Miss Tillie, 
 shaking her parent violently by the shoulder, cried 
 sternly : 
 
 " You've done a nice thing now ! You can't expect 
 no man to propose to a girl when any person is snor 
 ing at his elbow at that rate! If I die an old maid, 
 it'll be all your fault!" 
 
 " Well, I'm sorry, I'm sure ! " gasped the poor mother, 
 in consternation and scarcely recovered from her rude 
 awakening. " What makes you think he was go'n' to 
 propose ? " 
 
 " What makes me think it ! " cried Miss Tillie, indig 
 nantly ! " There's no think about it. I tell you he'd 
 just begun to propose." 
 
 " Did you find out whether or no he's married al 
 ready ? " interposed the crest-fallen mother. 
 
 " How can he be married already ? " indignantly de 
 manded Miss Tillie. " What would he be proposing to 
 me for if he was married a'ready ? You talk smart! " 
 
 "Well, I'm sorry we ain't found out anything," 
 
MISS TILLIE COURTS THE COLONEL. 45 
 
 muttered Mrs. Gipps. "It was a perfect outrage, 
 their talking politics the whole blessed evening! I 
 thought they would talk about things so we could find 
 out whether the colonel was married or not." 
 
 "Yes, you made out a lot, didn't you, asking Dickel 
 here," retorted Miss Tillie. 
 
 Thus discussing their respective disappointments 
 and grievances, the two ladies turned oat the gas in 
 the parlor and hall, locked the front door, and retired 
 to their room. 
 
 " It's no use for you to suspect the colonel of being 
 married a'ready," declared Miss Tillie, in injured tones. 
 " I know he can't be by the way he acts toward me." 
 And recalling the colonel's amiability in instructing her 
 in agriculture and politics, Miss Tillie grew wild with 
 exultation over the progress of her courtship, and felt 
 confident of soon seeing cotton grow and of plucking 
 figs fresli from the trees. " I love him ! I love him 
 passionately ! " she cried, " and I don't care who knows 
 it!" 
 
 "You better wait till you know how man} 7 - wives 
 he's got," interposed the unsympathetic mother. 
 
 "I don't care how many wives he's got, so there!" 
 retorted Miss Tillie, recklessly. " I love him, and I'm 
 bound to marry him ! I'd run away with him to Jeri 
 cho if he'd only ask me. But I know he can't be mar 
 ried," she continued in melting tones. " Think how he 
 held my hand to-night! I declare if I was to find out 
 that the colonel was a married man, I would lose my 
 mind." 
 
 " I've seen you in love the same way before," was 
 the mother's unfeeling comment. 
 
 " I'd like to know when ! " cried Miss Tillie, with as- 
 perty. 
 
 " How about that old tobacco merchant, Mr. Weeks, 
 
46 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 who had the second-story front four years ago last 
 winter ? " sneered her mother. 
 
 "I never cared for that old dotard," indignantly 
 shrieked Miss Tillie. 
 
 "How about old Mr. Goadby, the hatter?" 
 
 "Don't you dare twit me with that! You know 
 well enough all I cared about either of those old 
 idiots was their money," cried Miss Tillie, sharply. " If 
 I marry the colonel, it'll be a genuine love-match. I 
 love him ! I love him ! " she again cried passionately. 
 " I love him to distraction ! I love the very ground he 
 walks on! and I know he loves me! I don't see what 
 makes you talk so discouraging about it," she whim 
 pered, wiping a tear from her eyes. " Don't you think 
 if I marry a rich man I'll help you pay off the mort 
 gage ? I guess I'd do as much for you as any girl 
 would do for her folks." 
 
 " Did I ever say you wouldn't ? " returned the mother, 
 in mollified accents. "I know, of course, you'd do 
 what was right like I would by you. And if my snor 
 ing kept the colonel from proposing," she added hum 
 bly, " I'm sure nobody could be sorrier about it than 
 me. But I can't help it now; an' if he loves ye he 
 ain't agoin' to be stopped by no snor'n'. He'll find a 
 chance to propose some time or other." 
 
 " But there's nothing like striking when the iron's 
 hot," replied the inconsolable young lady; "and the 
 iron was hot then red hot. If you hadn't snored, I 
 bet I'd be engaged this minute." And Miss Tillie burst 
 into tears. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, anxious not to imperil her chances of 
 getting her mortgage paid off, made no further at 
 tempt at that moment either to palliate her offence 
 or to offer consolation. But when her daughter's grief 
 had spent itself, she spoke. 
 
MISS TILLIE COURTS THE COLONEL. 47 
 
 " I wouldn't take on so," she said soothingly. "A 
 girl like you, with your looks and your ways, and such 
 a gift o' gab as you've got, needn't never be afraid of 
 dy'n' an old maid. You better go to bed now and try 
 and get some sleep. To-morrow night you can have 
 the parlor all to yourself; and I wouldn't wonder but 
 what the colonel will propose in less'n half an hour." 
 
 This speech had the desired effect of soothing Miss 
 Tillie's troubles. She ceased repining and fell to medi 
 tating upon her charms and their powers of conquest, 
 and upon the delights of living down South. At last 
 she arose and began to look for pencil and paper. 
 
 " What you go'n' to do now ? " demanded her mother, 
 in tender accents, from her pillow. 
 
 Miss Tillie replied that she was going to write an 
 ode or else a sonnet she couldn't say now which it 
 would be and address it to the colonel, and see if that 
 wouldn't bring him to the point again. 
 
 " You better come to bed and put that gas out and 
 try to save your eyesight," tenderly replied the 
 mother. " You can write your pome to-morrer. Sett'n' 
 up late nights and spoil'n' your looks ain't ago'n' to help 
 you ketch a beau." 
 
 Knowing that her fond parent could never go to 
 sleep while the gas was burning, Miss Tillie greatly 
 undervalued her mother's tender admonitions, and, 
 being in no self-sacrificing humor, she tartly responded : 
 
 "Let me alone! I'll do what I've a mind to." And 
 she worked away on her poem for a long time, the 
 competition between her pencil and her eraser being 
 about equal all the way through; but at last, beginning 
 to apprehend congestion of the brain, she laid her 
 work aside, sopped her head with water, and wearily 
 tottered to bed. 
 
48 COL. JTJDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE GIPPS FAMILY RESOLVE TO KNOW THE 
 COLONEL'S SECRETS. 
 
 Miss TILLIE, owing 1 to the shock of the previous 
 evening 1 , and to overtaxing- her brain-power in the com 
 position of her sonnet, was unable to rise next morn 
 ing in time to help her mother get breakfast, although 
 she was on time to eat it. 
 
 The colonel had gone out. 
 
 After breakfast, she followed her mother up-stairs 
 to the colonel's room and sat down in one of the easy 
 chairs ; and with her long, bony arms folded in elegant 
 leisure, she looked on, talking in tones of subdued sor 
 row about that inopportune snore, while her mother, 
 in a contrite, humble way, went about doing up the 
 work. 
 
 " I was hoping all the evening after Dickel left," 
 crooned Miss Tillie, mournfully, " that you'd wake up 
 and go off to bed ; but I hated to tell you to, for fear 
 of the colonel's thinking I wanted to be left alone with 
 him. But I wish now I had ! " 
 
 "I don't think you'd better grieve about that no 
 more," returned Mrs. Gipps, striving to appear sym 
 pathetic, as she beat up the colonel's pillows. " If he 
 loves you " 
 
 " Well, he does love me! " cried Miss Tillie, sharply. 
 
 "I don't have no doubt of it, Tillie," replied her 
 mother, with the unusual exhibition of maternal affeo 
 
THE COLONEL'S SECRETS. 49 
 
 tion that she had made ever since her generous daugh 
 ter entered into that engagement about the mortgage. 
 " I think, myself, he loves you. I was only going to 
 say if he does, he'll propose; and I bet he'll do it be 
 fore he goes to bed to-night/' 
 
 " I hope so," rather dolorously returned Miss Tillie, 
 looking into the mirror. " He ain't very young him 
 self, and I think his front teeth are false. I'm going to 
 go and dress right away. It's so warm I wouldn't 
 wonder but what he'll be back early." 
 
 But the colonel did not return till about half-past 
 five; and then he sought the mother not the lovely 
 daughter. 
 
 "Mrs. Gipps," he began, shaking hands with her, 
 for it was the first time they had met that day, " I 
 want to ask a great favor. Can you trust me with 
 your latch-key for this evening ? I will return it with 
 out fail." 
 
 " I I declare ! Why, where is my key ? " cried Mrs. 
 Gipps. " I I believe Tillie's got the ke} r , colonel," she 
 stammered. 
 
 Hastening to her daughter, the Gipps family con 
 sulted together over the situation. 
 
 " Give me the key ! " cried Miss Tillie; " it belongs to 
 me to carry it down. 
 
 ".I s'pose you're going to the theatre ? Hope you'll 
 have a pleasant time," she cried gayly as she surren 
 dered the key to the colonel. 
 
 " Thank you thank you, madam, but I am not going 
 anywhere. I shall be in by seven, or half after at the 
 latest." 
 
 The colonel's indiscretion in thus designating the 
 hour of his return afforded the Gipps party at the 
 front window the opportunity of beholding his arrival 
 without undergoing the fatigue of a protracted vigil. 
 4 
 
50 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 Miss Tillie, diligent and faithful, was at the window 
 first. Mrs. Gipps was, however, on time. But the 
 colonel did not arrive till nearly half-past seven, and 
 it was already beginning to grow dark. 
 
 The blinds in the parlor were closed ; and the Gipps 
 family, seated behind the half-open slats, beheld the 
 apparition of a hackney coach which rolled up before 
 the house and stopped. Then the carriage door opened 
 and the fine, upright figure of the colonel appeared ; 
 next he handed out a tall, beautifully proportioned 
 lady in a dark traveling suit. 
 
 Miss Gipps grew pale and nearly lost her breath, 
 while Mrs. Gipps was filled with a compound emotion 
 of anguish and joy anguish at the prospect of losing 
 an opulent son-in-law, and joy at discovering his 
 secrets. 
 
 The colonel, leaving the carriage at the door, drew 
 the Iad3 7 's hand through his arm, ascended the steps, 
 admitted himself with the borrowed latch-key, and 
 passed up-stairs; and the next moment his footsteps 
 were audible in the room overhead. 
 
 "Well! I do say!" burst at last from Miss Tillie's 
 pallid lips. " If that isn't the most bare-faced, impu 
 dent piece of business I ever heard tell of! and he 
 only last night on the point of proposing to me ! Did 
 I ever see such a fickle man! Oh! I declare I can't 
 stand it! My heart will burst!" 
 
 "Tillie! Tillie!" cried the mother in alarm, "do 
 calm yourself! Do, for pity's sake! " 
 
 "What can he mean?" went on Miss Tillie. "Oh! 
 I shall go raving crazy! I declare I can't stand it! 
 That woman ought to be ordered out of the house!" 
 
 " Don't go to making a fuss yet, for heaven's sake ! " 
 pleaded the mother, looking very pale about the 
 mouth as she gazed into the face of her indignant off- 
 
THE COLONEL'S SECRETS. 51 
 
 spring. " It may be his sister, for all we know. You 
 always stuck to it she was, if she's the ' dear Cornelia ' 
 one." 
 
 "Well, if that's the case/' moaned the agonized 
 daughter, "then it's all right. But I don't believe it, 
 or why wouldn't he as lief we'd 'a' let him in ? " 
 
 "Well, now, don't borrer trouble," returned the 
 mother with Machiavelian persuasiveness. 
 
 Miss Gipps and her mother passed the next half- 
 hour painfully listening for the first sounds of the 
 colonel's footsteps on the stairs. 
 
 Miss Tillie, pale, wretched, indignant, threw herself 
 into an arm-chair, too dispirited to talk, and her mother 
 sank demurely into another near by. 
 
 "I blame her, that's who I blame," cried Miss Tillie, 
 at last. " She ought to be ashamed o' herself ! " 
 
 " I have an idea," interposed Mrs. Gipps, thought 
 fully and with her Machiavelian designs again. "I 
 have an idea that that woman is a Jewess! She was 
 dressed real Jew-like." 
 
 " Well," cried Miss Tillie, seizing desperately at this 
 straw of comfort, " come to think of it, I thought so 
 too; but it was her hair made me think so. It was 
 curly. I could see it at the back of her neck." 
 
 " Well, then, she's a Jewess," responded the mother, 
 in tones of satisfaction and peace, " unless, of course, 
 she's his sister." 
 
 The next moment the front door closed; there were 
 sounds of a carriage rolling away in the darkness. 
 
 " There, now, you see she was only his sister," cried 
 Miss Tillie, bursting into tears of joy. 
 
 " Or a Jewess," returned the mother, and they has 
 tened to the colonel's room. " Look, look ! " cried the 
 elder lady holding up a telegram she had found upon 
 the floor in the pantry. 
 
52 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 Train failed to connect. Cornelia Judson. That 
 was all. 
 
 "You see she's the very one he wrote that letter 
 to ! " cried Mrs. Gipps, in great excitement. " And 
 here's a hair here on the burer. She's a Jewess, sure! 
 This is reg'ler Jew hair." 
 
 Miss Tillie squinted at the hair with palpitating 
 heart and bated breath. 
 
 " Ain't it a Jew hair ? " demanded her mother, tri 
 umphantly. 
 
 "I I don't know!" gasped Miss Tillie; "I think 
 perhaps it is ! " 
 
 "It is!" stoutly asseverated the mother. " She's a 
 Jewess, I tell you! He'll never marry her! You 
 might know she's a Jewess by her name! Judson! 
 Can't you tell that's a Jew name ? " 
 
 Miss Tillie could hardly make herself believe it; but, 
 in her passionate anxiety to think the very worst pos 
 sible of her lover's stately companion, she feebly re 
 plied, with a ghastly attempt at cheerfulness : 
 
 " It seems to me as if it is." And after another crit 
 ical examination of the hair she declared her positive 
 belief that the woman was verily an Israelite. " There's 
 no knowing that Judson's any more her name than 
 Flushing is his. It may be Frankenstein or Oppen- 
 heim for all we know, though there are Jew names, 
 a plentj', like Judson. There's Mendleson, Aaronson, 
 Jacobson, and lots." 
 
 But notwithstanding the consolation derived from 
 these soothing reflections, Miss Gipps, clad in seer 
 sucker, her hair in disorder, her complexion dyspeptic, 
 bilious, and unwholesome, remained in her room or 
 the kitchen disconsolate all the next day, ruminating 
 over the philosophy of men's tastes and fancies, pon 
 dering over the stability of a man's infatuation for a 
 
THE COLONEL'S SECRETS. 53 
 
 Jewess, and comparing 1 the chances of an Israelite 
 with those of a cold, frigid, passionless beauty of the 
 North. 
 
 The colonel remained away all nigiit and all the fol 
 lowing- day, returning late in the evening 1 alone. 
 
 Several days passed, and Miss Tillie's recuperative 
 energies had, in a great measure, restored her cus 
 tomary vivacity and hopefulness; her wonted confi 
 dence in her cold, passionless Northern beauty returned 
 once more in full vigor; she had confronted the colo 
 nel without a trace of her late anguish visible in her 
 lovely countenance; and the colonel had boldly con 
 fronted Miss Tillie without a vestige of shame or guilt 
 in his open, candid face. He shook hands with her every 
 morning as cordially as ever, and replied to all her 
 greetings in the same frank, g-enial way. He had even 
 spent several evenings in the parlor and resumed his 
 conversations on Southern topics, relating episodes of 
 the war and of the Reconstruction period, and describ 
 ing the present condition of the agricultural classes 
 subjects interesting to Miss Tillie, chiefly for the op 
 portunity afforded for seeing a little farther into the 
 colonel's own private life and for the opening she 
 found for the remarks necessary to bring 1 on the crisis. 
 But although her mother had, every evening 1 , relig 
 iously fallen asleep at half-past eight, and, coming to 
 directly, had apologized and declared she must g-o to 
 bed, the colonel had not yet proposed. 
 
 Miss Gipps was mystified but hopeful, and Mrs. 
 Gipps was mystified and despondent. 
 
 " I can't think for the life o' me what kind of a man 
 he can be," the mother would mutter from her pillow 
 when her lovely daughter brought to bed, each night, 
 her discouraging report; and she dreamed every night 
 that the mortgage would be foreclosed on the morrow. 
 
54 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " Well, all I can say is," Miss Tillie would reply, " it's 
 plain he's going to take his time; and he's right!" 
 she would exclaim, standing up loyally for her stal 
 wart lover. " He'd be an awful fool to tumble heels 
 over head in love and marry a girl without knowing 
 whether or no they can agree." Still she would 
 moan : " I do wonder when he will come to the point." 
 
 She w T as pondering over this same problem one 
 afternoon and gazing listlessly out of the parlor win 
 dow, when the colonel, with a young lady on his arm, 
 came in sight. He still retained the borrowed latch 
 key by Mrs. Gipps' gracious permission ; but then the 
 lock was always turned and Miss Tillie, as usual, al 
 ways opened the door. 
 
 He now ascended the steps and applied the key. 
 The door was locked, and, as usual, he rang the bell. 
 
 Miss Gipps hastened to the door. 
 
 "O Colonel, you really must excuse this door's 
 being locked," she cried. " You see ma's so timid." 
 
 By this time the colonel and his companion had en 
 tered the hall, and Miss Gipps readily discovered that 
 it was not the lady who had been there on the previ 
 ous occasion, but quite a different looking one alto 
 gether. 
 
 She was not so tall as the other, but far slighter in 
 form, and evidently not above seventeen years of age; 
 and Miss Gipps, with one glance, could not fail to 
 observe that she was a remarkably beautiful girl. 
 
 Her hair was of the palest golden; her eyebrows, 
 in strong contrast, were very dark; her eyes large, 
 deep, dark blue, and fringed with long, dark, heavy 
 lashes. 
 
 Certainly this was no Jewess. Her complexion was 
 perfectly fair and transparent and her features strictly 
 classic. 
 
THE COLONEL'S SECRETS. 55 
 
 Miss Gipps put on her politest expression and 
 looked as if she expected an introduction, and for 
 one instant the colonel betrayed some embarrass 
 ment. But, quickly recovering his self-possession, he 
 bowed politely in acknowledgment of Miss Gipps' 
 apology about the key, and, turning to the young 
 lady, said in an undertone : 
 
 " This way, dear." And they both passed up-stairs. 
 
 Miss Gipps, with offended dignity and outraged 
 honor, re-entered the parlor, where her mother, filled 
 with amazement, stood looking forth. 
 
 " Well ! if this doesn't beat all ! " she cried. " Did you 
 ever hear the like ? He called her ' dear ' right before 
 my very face ! The old rascal ! And he old enough to 
 be her father ! " 
 
 While they sat in agonized suspense awaiting devel 
 opments, their lodger and his companion came down 
 stairs and passed quietly into the street. Hour after 
 hour went by and he had not returned. 
 
 " He can't expect us to leave the door unlocked any 
 later," said Mrs. Gipps, at last. " I'm going to lock up 
 and go up-stairs and lie down in my clo'es; and when 
 they come back that is, if she does come back with 
 him they'll see I had a good excuse for coming to the 
 door. I want to see her. You better go to bed. 
 You've seen her once." 
 
 Miss Gipps, in the interest of her cold, frigid, North 
 ern beauty which it was now so vitally important to 
 preserve, acted upon her mother's advice; and Mrs. 
 Gipps carried out her own programme so far as to 
 lock the front door and go up-stairs and lie down in 
 her clothes; but nothing disturbed her peaceful and 
 sonorous slumbers till the milkman jangled at the 
 doorbell the next morning; and then, after responding 
 to this imperious summons, on looking into the colo- 
 
56 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 nel's room, which stood open, she found he had not 
 been in all night. 
 
 Moreover, he remained away all day and all the fol 
 lowing night; but toward noon on the second day the 
 bell rang; and Miss Tillie, who answered the call, to 
 her inexpressible astonishment, found that beautiful 
 blonde young lady standing on the steps alone with a 
 traveling satchel. 
 
 The young stranger returned Miss Tillie's confounded 
 gaze with a polite "good morning " and the informa 
 tion that she desired to go up to the colonel's room a 
 few moments. 
 
 Miss Gipps muttered " Certainly " with an awkward 
 bow and an embarrassed effort at a polite smile; for, 
 as she described the scene to her mother afterward : 
 
 "I was just that taken aback I couldn't think 
 what else to say, let alone asking her what right she 
 had to go up; and whether or no the colonel gave 
 her any authority to go into his room when he was 
 away." 
 
 " Which one was it ? " demanded Mrs. Gipps, excit 
 edly. 
 
 " It was that red-headed girl," replied Miss Tillie. 
 
 "I'd give all the world to know what it means!" 
 cried Mrs. Gipps. 
 
 No human being but those who have been similarly 
 afflicted with this same species of wild, passionate, un 
 quenchable curiosity can conceive what torture these 
 two poor women now underwent. They talked about 
 the colonel incessantly, and guessed and surmised 
 and conjectured and wrought out first one solution and 
 then another all day and dreamed out frightful solu 
 tions all night. 
 
 But at last something else happened. The colonel 
 had been missing 1 a week and three days. It was early 
 
THE COLONEL'S SECRETS. 57 
 
 Monday morning, and Mrs. Gipps had gone to the 
 butcher's to buy half a pound of liver for breakfast. 
 
 Suddenly the door-bell rang. 
 
 Miss Tillie hurried to the door, and, as she reported 
 the story to her mother, who should it be bub "that 
 Jew woman/' and, like the other, she walked confi 
 dently into the house, saying, with all the assurance in 
 the world : 
 
 " I wish to go up to the colonel's room for a few min 
 utes." 
 
 "Now," cried Miss Tillie, decisively, as soon as she 
 concluded her report of the affair to her astonished 
 parent, " I ain't going to stand this any longer; I'm 
 just going to know what all this means!" 
 
 " And so am I ! " echoed the mother, quite as deci 
 sively. " I'm going to find out who and what that wo 
 man is, if I spend my last penny ! " 
 
 They ate their breakfast, and, reinvigorated with 
 their liver and bacon, they sat down and planned the 
 campaign. 
 
 There was one thing they had borne constantly in 
 mind : " Dear Cornelia " when she came North, was to 
 stop over a day " before going to Fire Island." 
 
 So the colonel said in his letter. 
 
 Of course she might not be at Fire Island now, or, 
 if she was, the colonel might be with the other one 
 somewhere else ; yet as that was the only clue they 
 had, they believed it vastly probable that he was 
 there; and in view of past economies they now re 
 solved on a little extravagance. In short, they resolved 
 to go to Fire Island; and though, to be sure, they 
 must spend a little money, it would certainly be a good 
 speculation in the end. 
 
 Their minds being unalterably made up, they set 
 away the remains of the liver, put the kitchen in order 
 
58 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 and went up-stairs to pack their traveling satchel and 
 dress for the trip. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps wore her best new bonnet with three 
 black ostrich tips and a little bird on top, and her best 
 black silk dress (which was the only one she had), and 
 over her arm, in case of cool weather, she carried her 
 black dolman trimmed with jet. 
 
 Miss Gipps wore her Gainsborough hat trimmed 
 with a long gray ostrich plume and four black tips, 
 and also her best black silk dress (and likewise the 
 only one she had), her amber-hued, Spanish-lace fichu, 
 and her black lace dolman. 
 
 One traveling satchel contained their joint outfit of 
 night apparel, including their best slippers, a hand 
 glass, a box of face powder, a little saucer of rouge, a 
 
 drinking cup, and a small flask of w , alias 
 
 brandy. 
 
 Everything being in readiness, they seated them 
 selves on the edges of chairs in the kitchen with their 
 bonnets on, in mortal fear of damaging their best black 
 silk dresses, and ate the rest of the liver and bacon, 
 the remnants of the breakast rolls, and drank some 
 cold tea. 
 
 Miss Tillie then affixed a card to the bell handle ad 
 dressed to the colonel in case he should be the first to 
 return, saying: 
 
 "You will find the keys at the drug store on the 
 corner." 
 
 This being accomplished, Miss Tillie took the satchel 
 and Mrs. Gipps the umbrella; and the procession 
 moved off toward Sixth Avenue, thence to Twenty- 
 third street, where they took the car for the ferry to 
 Hunter's Point. 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 59 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 
 
 MRS. GIPPS was afraid they would miss the train, 
 but Miss Tillie, in her superior, well-informed way, de 
 clared there was a train every few minutes. On arriv 
 ing- at Hunter's Point, however, they learned from the 
 big policeman lounging- near the ticket office of the 
 Long- Island railroad depot that they were two whole 
 hours too late for the last train and two hours and a 
 half too early for the next. 
 
 But they seated themselves in the spacious waiting- 
 room where crowds were surging- through or waiting 
 for one train or another on the various branches of the 
 road; and by diligently observing other people's 
 clothes, they both contrived to pass the time very hap 
 pily, noting how much better dressed they were than 
 anybody else, the crowd being largely made up of 
 sweaty-faced country girls in figured lawns and black 
 hats with blue feathers or white hats with huge 
 bunches of fiery red cherries; gaunt-eyed, haggard- 
 looking farmers' wives with three or four romping 
 boys apiece, brought to town to be fitted with ready- 
 made clothes which they could have made themselves 
 while they were waiting for trains at both ends; per 
 spiring huckster women from the truck farms of Long 
 Island, dressed in dirty calico gowns; and sweltering 
 summer boarding-house keepers, with huge baskets of 
 "fresh country vegetables" from the city markets, 
 grocery stores, and canning establishments. 
 
60 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 Miss Tillie and her mamma, therefore, were far from 
 miserable in their very best clothes, as they sat through 
 the two hours and a half comparing themselves with 
 the common people around them and observing the 
 airs of deference with which their stylish black silk 
 dresses were regarded by the simple country folk. 
 Then the big policeman, too, evidently regarded them 
 as the aristocrats of the hour, sauntering along every 
 once in a while as if feeling himself responsible for 
 their safetj", and giving them first one new point and 
 then another concerning their journey. They must 
 get off at Babylon, he told them, and they would have 
 to go the rest of the way by boat. 
 
 Miss Tillie said yes, that was what she was think 
 ing on account of its being an island; and the police 
 man said yes, that was the way of it. By-and-by he 
 wandered around their way again (Miss Tillie was be 
 ginning to think he was certainly smitten), and this 
 time he told them they didn't have to pay no extra 
 fare on the boat. 
 
 " It's all included in your railroad ticket," he said 
 gratifying news which so pleased the Gipps family that 
 they simultaneously bowed their thanks with the most 
 ostentatious graciousness and cried out, " Thank you ! 
 thank you! " in a joyful chorus. 
 
 After a while he got round again, and told them 
 they must take the horse-car at Babylon station to go 
 to the boat landing. Then once more he slowly jogged 
 around and carefully impressed upon their minds the 
 important fact that they didn't have to pay no fare on 
 the horse-car neither. 
 
 " You can tell 'em I say so. You can mention me 
 to 'em. Sometimes they try to take advantage of 
 strangers." 
 
 By this time Miss Gipps was beginning to be in love 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 61 
 
 with the "big policeman herself his uniform was new, 
 the brass buttons shiny, and he carried his club with 
 a grace and dignity that a marquis or a duke might 
 have envied; so the next time he got around their way, 
 seeing he stood modestly off at a distance for a mo 
 ment, Miss Gipps coquettishly beckoned him to come 
 nearer; and then she inquired, in her charming way, 
 how much the excursion fare was to Babylon. 
 
 " Excursion tickets to Babylon is one fifty," confi 
 dently replied the policeman, who could never bear to 
 admit his ignorance on any subject; and then he 
 added : " When you get off at Babylon if you don't see 
 the hoss-car there, it'll be along in time to ketch the 
 boat, and you kin go into the station and wait till it 
 comes. It won't be long," he added cheerfully. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps' and Miss Tillie's chorus of " Thank 3^ou, 
 thank you " was interrupted by the long-looked-for 
 raising of the ticket-office window on their branch of 
 the road; and the policeman with a grand air of pro 
 tection informed them that now they could get their 
 tickets. They went to the window together, when, 
 oddly enough, the big policeman sauntered off so far 
 out of both sight and hearing it was impossible to find 
 him again when the Gipps family subsequently desired 
 to talk over the discrepancies between his side of the 
 story and the ticket agent's. 
 
 For when they asked for two excursion tickets to 
 Babylon they found the fare was two dollars ! 
 
 Mrs. Gipps turned quite pale as she passed in the 
 price of two tickets; her lip quivered, and her hand 
 trembled, for it was enough to keep them in liver all 
 summer. Miss Tillie, who, from the beginning, had 
 maintained, despite what her admirer, the policeman, 
 said, that the fare to Fire Island and back was only 
 seventy-five cents, anticipating her mother's fierce re- 
 
62 COL. JUDSOJST OF ALABAMA. 
 
 preaches, hurried out of the crowd at the ticket-office 
 window and passed quickly through the gateway to 
 the train, keeping 1 so far ahead all the way as to give 
 her mother ample time to reflect and calm down; and 
 Mrs. Gipps, by the time she overtook her daughter, 
 was undoubtedly determined that the colonel, in one 
 way or another, should foot the whole bill. 
 
 " I just happened to think of something," whispered 
 Miss Tillie, artfully, to her mother, to start a different 
 subject from the one she felt was preying on her 
 parent's mind. " This is Austin Corbin's road," she 
 said, looking at the time-table. "Corbin, he don't 
 allow Jews on his road; so I don't see how she could 
 V got to Fire Island." 
 
 "What you talking 'bout!" snappishly cried her 
 mother; for she had not recovered her temper quite 
 yet. Four dollars were not so easily forgotten. " It 
 ain't Fire Island, it's Coney Island where they don't 
 allow no Jews. What's Corbin got to do with Fire 
 Island?" 
 
 " But don't I tell you this is Corbin's road ? He don't 
 allow Jews to travel on this road nowhere, I tell you." 
 
 " Then what have we been paying out four dollars to 
 go to Fire Island for if they ain't there?" demanded 
 Mrs. Gipps, savagely. 
 
 " I don't say she ain't there, positively," quickly re 
 plied Miss Tillie, seeing her error. " With that veil 
 over her face, how's anybody to see she's a Jew ? 
 Well, any way, we're off now," she added with deep re 
 lief, as the train moved out of the depot. " Gracious 
 heavens! What a horrible smell! Conductor!" she 
 shouted to that official who was now taking up the 
 tickets, "why doesn't this train go faster through 
 this awful place? You ought to go sixty miles an 
 hour here, and you ain't going five." 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 63 
 
 "There's another train ahead of me," replied the 
 conductor, apologetically. 
 
 "That's no matter!" smartly retorted Miss Tillie. 
 "I'd rather be killed than smell such smells. You 
 hurry this train along-. There's one thing about me," 
 she shrieked in her mother's ear, as the conductor 
 passed along-, "wherever I go, people always look at 
 me, and look, and look. See that gentleman over 
 there, now, looking at me ! " 
 
 " Well, don't holler so loud, then," replied her mother, 
 peevishly. " I don't see how you came to make such a 
 mistake about the fare," she added crabbedly. 
 
 " Well, now, what's gone's gone," returned Miss 
 Tillie, philosophically. " Once we are married, I guess 
 I know how a Southerner like the colonel will lavish 
 his money on me. I bet you'll find this the best specu 
 lation you ever made; I want you to understand I 
 ain't forgotten how near he was to proposing that 
 night; and I guess I ain't forgotten yet what he said 
 in that letter about me possessing all the usual traits 
 of cold, passionless, Northern beauty; though mebbe 
 you've forgotten it by this time," she added, with an 
 aggrieved air. 
 
 " No I ain't forgotten it," quickly replied the mother, 
 apologetically. 
 
 " Well, I should think 3 r ou had," returned the daugh 
 ter, haughtily. " But you can just go on and forget it 
 as much as you like; but I never will, never! and as I 
 said before, I know my chances are as good as any 
 body's." 
 
 "Well, I didn't say they wasn't," returned the 
 mother, humbly. 
 
 " I should think you meant so by the way you were 
 jaw'n' about the fare," returned Miss Tillie, relentlessly 
 following up the advantage she had gained. " I guess 
 
64 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 if I marry a rich man, I'll do as much for my folks 
 as any other girl." 
 
 " Well, now, did I say you wouldn't ? " returned the 
 mother, obsequiously. " I don't know as four dollars is 
 anything out the way for such a pleasant trip as this," 
 she said, with her handkerchief at her nose as they 
 slowly, slowly traveled along past the soap factories 
 and rendering establishments of Hunter's Point. 
 " Anyhow, too much or no," she added, " it won't break 
 me; so hush up about that." And hastily changing the 
 subject, she looked out of the window, saying, "The 
 scenery's beautiful, isn't it ? " 
 
 "Should think it was!" sneered Miss Tillie. 
 
 Finding her aesthetic daughter so hard to please, 
 Mrs. Gipps discreetly kept quiet till the scene began to 
 improve, when she made another attempt. "My! I 
 don't know how anybody can stand it to live in the 
 country ! " she exclaimed, looking drearily forth upon 
 the swift-flying panorama of rich meadow and culti 
 vated fields of variegated green, of isolated farm 
 houses, woods, and shady groves. 
 
 " I can't bear the sight of such a lot of ground with 
 no houses on it. I tell you what, I wish I owned about 
 fifty acres of this land on Fifth Avenue. I'd never eat 
 no more red herrin' nor codfish nor no more liver, 
 I can tell ye. But I'd be satisfied," she added quickly, 
 " if the mortgage was paid off and the interest and the 
 taxes." 
 
 "I never said anything about int'rest and taxes," 
 cried Miss Tillie, haughtily. " You couldn't expect no 
 man to go that far all at once, anyhow." 
 
 " Of course not ! I never said he would ! " replied the 
 mother, humbly. " I guess I'd be grateful to have the 
 mortgage paid off." 
 
 "After a while we might talk about interest and 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 65 
 
 taxes/' returned Miss Tillie, graciously. " But a wo 
 man must get a man completely under her thumb be 
 fore she can do that much for her poor relations. I 
 know he's open-handed now; but there's no knowing 
 what he'll be once we are married. For my part/' she 
 continued, "I'll be rejoiced to have a good comfortable 
 home and porter-house steak instead of liver and bacon, 
 and I'll be rejoiced to have a man's good long purse to 
 go to when I want something to wear." 
 
 " Well, as for me," said Mrs. Gipps, " I'll be thankful 
 to have the mortgage paid off, and I'll be glad to think 
 you're settled for life and done so well. I 'spect you'll 
 have a bank account of your own ; don't you 'spect so ? " 
 
 " Yes, I 'spect so," and Miss Tillie looked around 
 upon the other passengers with airs of opulent gran 
 deur. " F spect I'll give away all the clo'es I've got now 
 to the Little Sisters of the Poor." 
 
 " I 'speck," added the mother, " you'll have so many 
 dresses you won't hardly know which one to put on 
 when you go anywhere." 
 
 " I 'spect so," confidently returned Miss Tillie. " I 
 know one thing I'm go'n' to have right straight off," 
 she cried with determination, " and that's a black vel 
 vet dress, cut gabrielle, with a long train." 
 
 Thus reveling in advance in the pecuniary bliss in 
 store for them, the Gipps family reached Babylon be 
 fore they knew it. Here they left the train with great 
 precipitation, neither of them having heard the sta 
 tion called out, their first intimation of their arrival 
 being derived from the brakeman, who, rushing into 
 the car with a fearful scowl, demanded, in a ruffianly 
 voice, to know whether they were going to get out or 
 not. 
 
 Miss Gipps, with some difficulty recognizing in his 
 passion-distorted features the dull, placid fellow to 
 5 
 
66 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 whom she had committed herself some time back, in 
 stantly seized up the satchel, shrieking 1 , " Come, ma ! " 
 while Mrs. Gipps, in consternation, snatched her para 
 sol and dolman and sped out of the car, leaving the 
 umbrella in the rack over the seat; and the train 
 rushed on. 
 
 " Well, the hoss car ain't here, that's cert'n," cried 
 the Gipps family, carefully sweeping the horizon, 
 neither as yet having discovered the loss of their 
 valued parachute. 
 
 They now learned from the station agent that they 
 might as well have come by the 4 : 30 train as the 3 : 30, 
 the former being the express and patronized by all the 
 aristocracy; and no horse-car would appear till the 
 arrival of that train, thirty-five minutes later. By 
 that time a large number of magnificent equipages, 
 with fine, handsome horses, surrounded the picturesque 
 little country station; and presently a great, ungainly, 
 dilapidated horse-car, looking as though it might have 
 been the original experiment of some clumsy inventor, 
 came lumbering up. On the arrival of the express, a 
 large number of opulent-looking gentlemen, the sum 
 mer residents of Babylon or guests for Fire Island, 
 poured out of the cars and took their seats in the hand 
 some vehicles in waiting. The scene was brilliant, 
 wealthy, and aristocratic. The smaller vehicles, phae 
 tons, drags, and dog-carts were mostly driven by richly, 
 beautifully dressed ladies, who handled the reins with 
 dexterity and pride, the larger by coachmen in livery; 
 and footmen in yellow gloves and glittering buttons 
 were seated in consequential magnificence in their 
 places. 
 
 The awkward, lumbering old horsecar, with its 
 panting, wretched, bare-boned horses, was the only 
 blot on the fair scene of elegance and luxury. 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 67 
 
 To Miss Tillie and her mother it was the most har 
 rowing- moment of their lives; and when the station 
 agent came and told them officiously that this was the 
 car for which they had been inquiring 1 , they haughtily 
 replied that they would like to see themselves going 
 anywhere in that crazy old thing-. The station agent 
 stepped back quite crest -fallen. The conductor of the 
 car, however, kept on persistently shouting, "This 
 way for Fire Island ! " and the Gipps family were in a 
 sad dilemma. Elegant equipages and their fashiona 
 ble occupants still completely surrounded the station; 
 but, perceiving that several well-dressed gentlemen 
 were taking seats in the car, and that even some three 
 or four ladies had entered as well as a number of coun 
 try people with market baskets, the Gipps family at 
 last condescended to follow. 
 
 The inside of the car was no better than the outside. 
 The bottom of the windows was just on a level with 
 the tops of most people's heads. There were no cush 
 ions whatever, and when the car started the windows 
 rattled and jingled, and the car shook and rumbled 
 on the rails as if it were off the track. 
 
 Speech was impossible the tongue was safer within 
 the teeth. The passengers turned pale and blue and 
 looked in agony from one to another; not a sound 
 could be heard within or without above the din of the car. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, quite pallid with the shaking-up she was 
 getting, was just striving to console herself for her 
 sufferings with the reflection that it was a free ride, 
 when she perceived the conductor taking up the fare. 
 Remonstrance was out of the question in such a pan 
 demonium; every one else was paying without a mur 
 mur or protest; and when her own turn came she 
 handed up a quarter and awaited her change like a 
 martyr, or the victim of a highway robber with a 
 
68 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 pistol at his head; but all she ever saw of her precious 
 coin again was just half a dime, which she put into her 
 pocket in helpless indignation. 
 
 Meanwhile Miss Tillie, as well as she was able, was 
 striving to get her money's worth by making observa 
 tions on the town they were passing through. 
 
 There were fine large cottages on each side of the 
 broad highway, with magnificently cultivated grounds 
 around; and every now and then some elegant car 
 riage rolled unheard past the thunderous old car the 
 only one the road possessed (another just like it would 
 have produced earthquake shocks in "Babylon and 
 shattered the whole town !). 
 
 It was just 6 : 15 when they arrived at the boat-land 
 ing. Other passengers who had driven thither by 
 more comfortable and beautiful conveyances had al 
 ready boarded the little steamer and were now seated 
 on the upper deck. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie went timidly and dis 
 trustfully on board, climbed over a huge steam-pipe, 
 and, in wonderment that such a dingy, inconvenient 
 old boat should possess wealthy patronage, they 
 climbed up a flight of very narrow, very steep stairs, 
 the top of which, at that moment, was inclined over 
 the base at an angle of about eighty-five degrees. 
 
 As .they reached the upper deck the boat started. 
 No sooner did they emerge into the open air than Miss 
 Tillie's Gainsborough hat and Mrs. Gipps' bonnet were 
 seized by a furious gale and nearly torn off, while their 
 best black silk dresses threatened to blow all to rib 
 bons. Miss Tillie, holding fast to her hat with one 
 hand and to her clothes with the other, looked to see 
 if the other people were going below; while her mother 
 recklessly declared she didn't care what anybody else 
 did, and insisted on going down into the cabin, 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 69 
 
 At this moment, to the good woman's horror, she 
 beheld a man collecting 1 fares; and, after the episode on 
 the horsecar, she knew what value to place upon the 
 information given by the policeman in the depot at 
 Long Island City, so she quickly turned about and 
 sought refuge behow, whither she was soon followed 
 by Miss Tillie who reported that the man was coming 
 and that the fare was a dollar apiece. 
 
 " But," she added soothingty, " they only charge for 
 the one trip. It's a dollar to go over, but coming back 
 it's free ! " a fallacy having its origin in the fact that 
 the captain collected the fare for the round trip on the 
 outward passage, and, there being no other means of 
 reaching the island or getting away therefrom except 
 by swimming the Great South Bay, tickets were un 
 necessary and were not used. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, however, in delight that something was 
 free after all, and that the information was authentic, 
 being derived from the captain himself, took out her 
 pocket-book and handed up the fares with a degree of 
 cheerfulness which astonished Miss Tillie and gave her 
 that dangerous feeling of opulence which so fatally 
 held possession of her the greater part of the time dur 
 ing the remainder of the trip. 
 
 No sooner had Mrs. Gipps paid the fares than she 
 began to feel chilly, the combined effects of parting 
 with her money and of the heavy damp air rolling in 
 at the little cabin windows; by the aid of the dim, 
 smoky lamp which the man lighted to see to collect 
 his fares, she put on her dolman; and then it was, feel 
 ing her freedom from luggage, that she first discovered 
 that she had lost something. 
 
 " Where's the umbrella ? " she shrieked. 
 
 "I didn't carry the umbrella; you carried that!" re 
 turned Miss Tillie. " I've got the satchel," 
 
70 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " Then it's left somewheres," cried Mrs. Gipps, in an 
 guish and dismay. Tracing 1 back her steps and all her 
 sensations as far as Babylon, it was clear that she had 
 left it on the train; and it was a brown silk umbrella 
 and cost twelve dollars originally Mrs. Gipps having 
 inherited it from a former lodger who had gone off and 
 forgotten it and never came back, thougii he tele 
 graphed. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, thinking 1 of this latter event in the his 
 tory of the lost umbrella, murmured with a troubled 
 face: 
 
 " I doubt if I ever lay eyes on that umbrella again, 
 but I shall have to telegraph to somebody or other, if 
 I only knew who to; and there's more money out of 
 pocket." 
 
 They were the sole occupants of the dingy little 
 cabin, and Miss Tillie felt that it was not fashionable 
 to stay down there ; her mother was morose and in 
 disposed to converse; it was nearly dark and nothing 
 to be seen from the cabin window but the lights on 
 the Long Island shore, and she was restive and ill at 
 ease. 
 
 "I don't like being down here," she murmured. 
 "This is a horrid hole, and you see, yourself, nobody 
 that is anybody will stay in this beastly little den. 
 What's the use for you to mope and fret about that 
 umbrella! I guess if I marry a rich man, we are 
 neither one of us going to be pinched for the money to 
 buy umbrellas. Come, less go back up-stairs. I'd 
 rather be blown to shoestrings than not do like other 
 folks. All those people must be wealthy, for there's 
 only one hotel on Fire Island, and I wouldn't wonder 
 but what they charge as much as t.wo dollars and a 
 half a day." 
 
 Mrs. Gipps disliked to be out of fashion herself, and, 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 71 
 
 yielding readily to her daughter's persuasions, they 
 returned to the upper deck. 
 
 The wind was still blowing hard, but a broad band 
 of moonlight streamed across the deep, tumultuous 
 waters of the baj', compensating all lovers of the beau 
 tiful in nature for the trouble of struggling for the 
 possession of one's hat or bonnet. The Gipps family, 
 however, quite insensible to moonlight on land or 
 water, seated themselves uncomfortably on the back 
 less stools, and, holding fast to their bonnets every 
 minute till the boat reached the island, sat wondering 
 how people could endure the damp, cold wind, which 
 chilled them to the marrow. 
 
 It was so dark when the boat stopped it was diffi 
 cult to see the way across the gang-plank ; but a row 
 of lamps all the way from the landing to the hotel 
 lighted up their footsteps to the door, a distance of 
 some two hundred yards. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie followed the crowd and 
 entered the hotel a vast, irregular frame building 
 completely surrounded by deep, loose sand. 
 
 The guests, promenading the piazzas and halls or 
 seated in the parlor, flocked to inspect the new arrivals, 
 this being one of the leading diversions of the isolated 
 resort, and the Gipps family inspected the inspec 
 tors; but neither the colonel nor the Jewess was any 
 where to be seen. 
 
 They registered their names, were presented with a 
 key, and followed an old man in his shirt sleeves up 
 stairs. 
 
 Here there were more guests moving around, and the 
 Gipps party again looked for the colonel, but again he 
 was nowhere about. 
 
 The old man who had conducted them up-stairs, and 
 who had forgotten to relieve them of their satchel (and 
 
!T2 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 who, poor old soul! had they delivered it into his keep 
 ing would have taken it for a gift), lighted a tallow 
 candle which stood in a tin candlestick on the bureau, 
 told them supper was ready, and left them. 
 
 " What a horrid hole ! " cried both the ladies, in an 
 indignant and astonished chorus. "Not a drop of 
 water! Only one chair! What a hard bed! And 
 smells musty, too ! How perfectly awful ! " 
 
 These were their exclamations as they looked about 
 the room and inspected its appointments and disap 
 pointments, and, indeed, they did seem to be, in some 
 measure, getting their pay in kind for their barbarity 
 to their own lodgers ; for not only was there but one 
 chair and a very hard, musty bed without springs, 
 but there was nothing on the floor but a straw mat 
 ting. The furniture, which was a yellow cottage suit 
 of the cheapest kind, consisted solely of a bedstead, a 
 small bureau, a tepoy table, and a washstand. There 
 was no wardrobe, and only four hooks on the wall for 
 the accommodation of a lady's entire wearing apparel. 
 The room was about seven by eleven and contained one 
 window ; but Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie consoled them 
 selves for the extreme poverty of the room with the 
 reflection that the terms must be low. 
 
 " I don't see how they could have the impudence to 
 charge over a dollar and a half a day," whispered Miss 
 Tillie (for the transom was open). " Funny, though," 
 she added, "so many rich people would come here! 
 Those I saw were dressed to kill velvets, silks, and 
 diamonds. I saw several Jews. For all we could tell, 
 she might V been among them. Well! I never 
 longed to have money like I did when I looked around 
 that rich crowd ! Plague take it ! I'm as good as they 
 are and it makes me mad to think this is the only 
 decent dress I've got to my back ! I know one thing 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 73 
 
 about it I'll never give up this chase for the colonel 
 till I find him. If he ain't here, it's quite likely they 
 can tell us where he's gone." 
 
 " I haven't given up hoping he's here," returned Mrs. 
 Gipps. " This would be the best place in the world to 
 bring him to the point. You could go into the surf 
 with him to-morrow and all but make him hold you all 
 the while." 
 
 " That's so ! " rejoined Miss Tillie, delightedly, as she 
 picked out her crimps before the mirror and surveyed 
 herself with complacency. "I'll pretend I'm almost 
 drowned and throw my arms around his neck the 
 darling! I don't think a better place for bringing a 
 man to the point could be found than this. We'll go 
 up the lighthouse, too, and I'll let on to be ready to 
 drop climbing up the stairs; and he'll have to put his 
 arm around me to hold me up; then I'll drop my head 
 on his breast, and, my gracious ! see if he doesn't pro 
 pose then ! Oh ! this is an elegant place ! Now, ma, 
 don't you go to making a fuss if you find out they 
 charge more here than you expect. I'll make it all up 
 to you, ma; indeed I will." 
 
 "Tillie," returned the mother, thinking of the -mort 
 gage every minute, " I'll sacrifice everything to see you 
 happy! I don't care if it beggars me, I'll see you 
 through. These places are awful extortionate, but 
 you won't hear one whimper out of my head even if 
 they charge us two dollars a day; no, not even if they 
 charge two and a half!" 
 
 "Now, ma, that's good of you!" cried Miss Tillie, 
 in her most dulcet tones. "I'm glad you talk that 
 way. It's sensible, and gives me the heart to go on; 
 you'll find this is a good speculation, ma. Nothing 
 venture, nothing win." 
 
 " That's so," returned the fond mother. " But that 
 
74 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 ain't why I feel as I do, Tillie. I know you love the 
 colonel, and I know it'll be a good match for you. 
 Come, dear, less go down to supper before everything's 
 eat up. Ain't you most ready ? " 
 
 " Yes, ma," cooed Miss Tillie, lovingly, and they blew 
 out their tallow candle and passed out into the hall 
 and down into the dining-room, a vast, dimly lighted 
 room, where, as it was now after eight o'clock, there 
 was no one but the late arrivals by the boat. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie called for a steak, some 
 Saratoga chips, and toast and tea, and they both pro 
 nounced the meal very fair "for such a place as this!" 
 
 "You couldn't expect anything better in such a 
 hole," said Miss Tillie, devouring her supper raven 
 ously. 
 
 Immediately on leaving the dining-room they re 
 turned to the office to examine the register in quest of 
 the colonel. 
 
 After turning several pages, Miss Tillie exclaimed in 
 an excited whisper in her mother's ear: 
 
 " Look 1 look ! See what I've found ! ' Mrs. Flushing, 
 Eatonton, Ala., room 8'; and it's his handwriting! 
 Now, where's his name ? " 
 
 She looked all the way down the page and then 
 turned it, and the next, and the next, when, near the 
 foot, some two or three days later, she found the entry 
 in the same handwriting : 
 
 "Col. Flushing, Eatonton, Ala.; room 8." 
 
 " Is it possible he's been here and gone ! " exclaimed 
 the Gipps family in an excited chorus. " Less us ask 
 the clerk if he's here yet." 
 
 But no! they had gone.! The gentleman had met 
 with an accident in the surf in the effort to rescue a 
 lady from drowning and was laid up there for several 
 days and hence the mysterious visits of the two ladies 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 75 
 
 to his room in the city for his baggage but he had left 
 that morning for the Catskills. 
 
 Hearing this, the Gipps family unanimously desired 
 to know what time they could get away from the 
 island the next day, and the clerk replied that they 
 could go at 3 : 30 in the afternoon. 
 
 Swarms of other guests were thronging around ask 
 ing questions or making observations, and the clerk, 
 turning to one and another, soon forget the anxious 
 party asking about the colonel; and Mrs. Gipps and 
 Miss Tillie slunk away and went out to walk on the 
 piazza and take counsel together as to what they 
 should do next. 
 
 " I tell you how I feel ! " cried Miss Tillie; " I feel like 
 going to the Catskills ! " 
 
 " I feel the same way/' responded the mother. " Here 
 we've been and spent all this money and ain't made 
 anything by it yet. The colonel' must be a mighty 
 fickle man ! . But, as you say, if you are only on hand 
 your chances are as good as anybody's. We'd be only 
 so much money out of pocket if we gave up now; and 
 I feel as if it was my duty to see you through." 
 
 "That's right, ma! You talk real sensible about 
 this. It would be a shame to spend all this money and 
 then give up. Now stand by me, ma, and you'll never 
 repent." 
 
 " It's a bargain, then, we'll go," returned the good 
 mother. " I know your word is as good as your bond; 
 and you'll repay me for all my sacrifices." 
 
 " Yes, ma," returned Miss Tillie, " you know me like 
 a book." 
 
 The matter being decided, they strolled down the 
 board walk leading to a long row of cottages belong 
 ing to the hotel and occupied by guests, and looked 
 dully and sleepily upon the scene. The famous harbor 
 
76 COL. JUDSON Of 1 ALABAMA. 
 
 light, a short distance from the hotel, threw a weird, 
 unearthly glare over the lonely, barren waste of sand 
 weird and unearthly enough to arouse the most super 
 stitious awe; but neither Mrs. Gipps nor Miss Tillie 
 was sufficiently impressionable to feel any such subtle 
 influence. Their souls were absorbed by a different set 
 of emotions; they stared about them and strove to 
 penetrate the gloom beyond, only to see if there was 
 anything scandalous going on in the darkness, rather 
 than with any interest in the wild grandeur and beauty 
 of the scene. 
 
 Finding nothing here of interest, they returned to 
 the piazza which surrounded the house, and, assuming 
 the air of ladies of wealth and high social position, 
 and of perfect peace of mind concerning their bills and 
 their station in life, they fell in behind the other prom- 
 enaders, and walked all around the hotel, arm in arm, 
 making up a cash estimate of the value of other 
 women's clothes and jewels, and criticising their move 
 ments and personal appearance, concerning the latter 
 of which they took extreme pessimistic views, denounc 
 ing everybody as either ferociously ugly or abomina 
 bly old. In fact, according to the Gipps family, there 
 was nobody in the world who would ever see thirty 
 again; and almost everybody was "rising of forty." 
 As for beauty, they were sure it was all artificial; 
 while to them, any evidence of wealth was a proof that 
 people were living beyond their means or else were 
 engaged in some nefarious business. Gentlemen and 
 their wives suffered even worse. Miss Tillie wondered 
 if they were married ; and ladies were compromised by 
 the attentions of their husbands, Mrs. Gipps declaring 
 every time that it was some other man's wife and 
 some other woman's husband. 
 
 But they by no means felt at their ease. Miss Tillie 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 77 
 
 felt that everybody knew her best back silk dress was 
 the only one she had; and Mrs. Gipps felt that every 
 body knew she took lodgers for a living when she 
 could get any. In spite of everything, they felt like 
 shams, pretenders, and humbugs, and they longed to 
 hide their heads. At last Miss Tillie whispered : 
 
 " Less go to bed; I'm tired half to death." 
 
 " Me, too," responded Mrs. Gipps. And they sought 
 the seclusion of their little room. 
 
 " Doesn't it look too mean for anything ? " cried Miss 
 Tillie, as she lighted, the candle and looked around the 
 sparsely furnished apartment. 
 
 " Well, it's cheap," replied Mrs. Gipps, " so it's all for 
 the best. It won't kill us for one night," though she 
 changed her mind after she got into bed, and. firmly 
 believed she couldn't live till morning. 
 
 Miss Tillie as the superior being, the prospective 
 moneyed party, took a seat in the chair; while her 
 mother, as the inferior member of the family, the poor 
 relation, seated herself on the side of the bed; and then 
 they discussed and animadverted upon the people they 
 had seen down-stairs till overcome by the fatigue of 
 the day, when they retired to bed and fell asleep, re 
 gretting their inability to get away earlier. In fact 
 on this point they had not made the same searching 
 investigation which they had so ably devoted to other 
 people's business. The clerk didn't say they could not 
 go before three-thirty. 
 
 They asked when they could get off, and he replied 
 that they could go at three- thirty; or perhaps, to be 
 more exact, his actual words were : 
 
 " There's a boat at three-thirty P.M." And if they 
 had pursued the investigation with the energy and 
 ardor which they had infused into the labor of looking 
 into the colonel's affairs, they doubtless would have 
 
78 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 unearthed the fact that there was also a boat at six- 
 thirty in the morning. Ignorant of this, however, 
 they slept till seven and went down to breakfast at 
 eight. 
 
 After breakfast they strolled over to the boat-land 
 ing and gazed on the Great South Bay for half an 
 hour, and yawned and wished the boat went earlier. 
 Then they returned to the hotel and sauntered over to 
 the beach, a distance of about a quarter of a mile. 
 But the grandeur and sublimity of the Atlantic Ocean 
 failed to make any impression upon them, while the 
 glitter of the sun upon the water did they unani 
 mously pronounced it " horrid " and returned to the 
 hotel; and wandering idly and aimlessly about, they 
 came upon the bowling-alley, where they passed the 
 remainder of the morning watching the players. 
 
 They ate their dinner early, and, in despair of find 
 ing any other amusement till the time to start, they 
 wandered over to the beach again. 
 
 By this time, the tide having served, large numbers 
 of people were collected there, and the Gipps family, 
 though often bemoaning the absence of the colonel and 
 the opportunity for a love adventure, managed to pass 
 the time so pleasantly looking at the bathers that it 
 was nearl\ r three o'clock before they thought of re 
 turning. On arriving at the office, where Mrs. Gipps 
 paused to settle her bill, they learned that the boat 
 left the landing at three-ten instead of three-thirty, 
 whereat they suspected the clerk of deceiving them by 
 design, although that individual gave the sufficient ex 
 planation that the boat didn't get off till three-thirty, 
 although she left the landing at three- ten or therea 
 bouts. 
 
 In consternation, Miss Tillie flew up-stairs to pack 
 the satchel; and Mrs. Gipps hurriedly called for her 
 bill. 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY AT FJKE ISLAND. 79 
 
 " It's just eight dollars/' replied the clerk, calmly. 
 
 "Eight dollars!" shrieked Mrs. Gipps. "Why! we 
 only came last night ! " 
 
 " Yes, it's just one day," responded the clerk, peace 
 ably. 
 
 " But there's only two of us," cried Mrs. Gipps, in 
 astonishment. 
 
 "Yes, ma'am, four dollars a day we charge." 
 
 " Oh ! " cried Mrs. Gipps. But there were other peo 
 ple paying their bills without a murmur; and how 
 genteel it did look to pay whatever was demanded 
 without dispute! So she handed up the money just as 
 Miss Tillie appeared with the satchel in one hand and 
 her mother's bonnet, parasol, and dolman in the other. 
 
 " You won't have time to go up-stairs again," she 
 cried; and indeed it was already five minutes past 
 three. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps hurriedly put on her bonnet at the par 
 lor mirror; and by virtue of rapid traveling down the 
 board-walk to the landing, they caught the boat. 
 
 " I'd swum across the Great South Bay," cried Mrs. 
 Gipps, "before I'd stayed there another day. They 
 charged eight dollars! A pretty penny this trip has 
 cost; and I've got to telegraph for that umbrella yet! 
 I don't see how in the world I can stand it to go to the 
 Catskills. I'll be dead broke." 
 
 "Give it up, then!" snarled Miss Tillie, "and you 
 can pay off your mortgage the best way you can." 
 
 " There's no knowing as we'll ever find the colonel," 
 snappishly retorted the discouraged husband-hunter. 
 " It's my opinion it's only another wild-goose chase." 
 
 " You can go or not, as you like," sullenly returned 
 Miss Tillie. "If you don't choose to go, I'll pawn my 
 watch and rings and bracelets, and push on alone. 
 Never say die is my motto! But if I have to make 
 
80 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 such a sacrifice as that, I'll cut adrift from every blessed 
 soul that bears the name of Gipps mark that!" 
 
 " Oh, of course ! of course ! It would be all I would 
 expect of you, anyhow," retorted the mother. " I'd 
 never expect you to do anything 1 for me. You always 
 was a selfish girl, Matilda Gipps; and you'd stand by 
 and see me spend my last dollar trying- to find you a 
 husband; and there's no knowing as the colonel will 
 ever propose." 
 
 At this Miss Tillie glared so fiercely at her mother 
 that that g-ood woman was almost afraid of being 
 strangled on the spot. 
 
 "You know better than that!" hissed the young- 
 lady. Leaving her mother to herself she went to an 
 other part of the boat and sat looking dismally oat 
 upon the bay, a very melancholy girl, thinking how 
 large and bony her fingers always looked without her 
 rings, and how doubly large and bony her wrists 
 looked without her bracelets, not to mention the loss of 
 air and style suffered by the absence of these, her only 
 evidence of wealth. 
 
 She had just vowed a vow to see her mother die in 
 the alms-house and buried in the Potter's field, when 
 that prudent woman made her appearance, penitent 
 and humble again. 
 
 " I'm a-go'n' to see you through," she said. " I don't 
 know as it's right to back out after I've given my word 
 to do it. My word is as good as my bond." 
 
 Miss Tillie continued looking stonily forth upon the 
 great heaving waste of water and made no immediate 
 reply, though a huge burden had rolled off her heart. 
 
 "I want to do everything I can to advance your in- 
 t'rest; you know that as well as I do," continued the 
 penitent mother, filling up the gaps in the conversa 
 tion with embarrassed a-hems. 
 
THE GIFPS FAMILY AT FIRE ISLAND. 81 
 
 "I know what's to my interest is to yours, too," 
 haughtily returned Miss Tillie, without removing- her 
 gaze from the water. " It's your speculation as much 
 as 'tis mine." 
 
 " I know that," returned the contrite parent. " I 
 know that perfectly well, and I'm a-go'n' to see you 
 through; and I wouldn't 'a' lost my temper so if it 
 hadn't 'a' been for that scand'lous bill. But there's 
 no use minding what I say when I'm put out," and, 
 still striving to draw her daughter's recollection off 
 their little falling out, she added, "Did you ever 
 dream o' them charg'n' four dollars a day ?" 
 
 " No, I never did," returned Miss Tillie, trying to en 
 courage her mother's advances. "I never heard of 
 anything so awful." 
 
 " It ain't go'n' to happen again, though," replied Mrs. 
 Gipps, determined to appear cheerful. " I've got my 
 wisdom teeth cut now, you bet; so I ain't a-go'n' to 
 think no more about that; and I don't want you to 
 worry about it, either; so cheer up I guess we'll come 
 out all right. As to the umberrella, that was my own 
 carelessness. I've got nobody to blame but myself for 
 that. But we'll want it if we're goin' to the Catskills; 
 and I'm a-go'n' to telegraph for it the first thing I do 
 when we get to Babylon." 
 
 And she did telegraph, and it cost her a dollar; but 
 as she had so sadly predicted, she never more beheld 
 it; nor did she ever receive the faintest tidings from 
 it, but she was just as censorious of the world ever 
 after for thus wrongfully dispossessing her of that 
 cherished umbrella as though she had come rightfully 
 by it herself. 
 6 
 
82 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 THE ADVENTURES AND MISADVENTURES OF THE GIPPS 
 FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 
 
 IT was half-past six when Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie 
 arrived in Long Island City ; and as there was no time, 
 in such an awful emergency, to pay their home a visit 
 before proceeding- on their journey, they crossed by 
 James' Slip ferry; and calling- a hack, which cost 
 them another dollar, they drove as fast as the driver 
 could be induced to go, to the Catskill night boat at 
 the foot of Harrison Street, where they arrived Justin 
 time to get aboard. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps went alone to the captain's office to buy 
 the tickets and secure a stateroom, and Miss Tillie 
 sought the Jadies' saloon, where, a few minutes later, 
 she was joined \)y her mother smoking with indigna 
 tion and the excitement and wrath engendered by an 
 unsuccessful, inglorious battle over the fares. 
 
 " Four dollars more ! " she gasped. " A dollar apiece 
 fare, and the same for a stateroom, and he wouldn't 
 take any less though I told him we could both sleep in 
 the same berth, and that anyhow I didn't expect to 
 sleep a wink all night for the noise. But he said there 
 wasn't no noise on his boat, and he'd as lieves we'd 
 sleep in both berths and take our comfort as any way." 
 
 No sooner had the boat started than a very black 
 negro in a dirty apron went through the saloon and 
 out on deck ringing a very deep-toned bell, announc 
 ing supper in the gentlemen's cabin; behind him 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 83 
 
 came the stewardess, a very genteel mulatto woman 
 with crinkly hair, who, to crush out any idea of econ 
 omy on the part of any of the parsimonious female pas 
 sengers on board, addressed the ladies individually, 
 asking them if they " wished supper," and offering her 
 services in bringing it up if they so desired. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie, having improvidently 
 dined early at the hotel on Fire Island through sheer 
 idleness and want of occupation, were now nearly 
 famished; but they had laid in a cheap supply of pro 
 visions on their way from the ferry, consisting of a 
 paper bag of crackers and five cents' worth of peanut 
 candy; they, therefore, replied opulently to the solici 
 tations of the stewardess, though with suspicious par 
 ticularity, that they had only just dined and had no 
 appetite for supper. 
 
 The stewardess artfully concealed her real opinion 
 on that point, and the Gipps family retreated imme 
 diately to their stateroom, where they fell at once 
 upon the crackers and cand} 7 . 
 
 These being devoured, and their appetites being 
 only the sharper, they began to feel that they were 
 being foolishly economical and doing themselves a 
 great injustice. What was the use, Miss Tillie thought, 
 to starve herself to death if she was going to marry a 
 rich man so soon ? And what was the use, Mrs. Gipps 
 thought, to punish herself this way when, should she 
 fail to have a rich son-in-law pretty shortly, at least 
 there was another way yet of making the colonel foot 
 the bills; so when Miss Tillie declared her belief that 
 it was all nonsense going without their supper, she by 
 no means reluctantly acquiesced, and they went down 
 to the table, thereby adding another dollar to the bill 
 the colonel was destined to pa} 7 . 
 
 After supper Miss Tillie proposed going out on deck 
 
84 COL. JUDSOJST OF ALABAMA. 
 
 to see the Palisades and the rest of the scenery along 
 the Hudson, but Mrs. Gipps wanted to stay in the 
 saloon and watch a young couple at the piano and see 
 if they went into the same stateroom together; and 
 Miss Tillie, nothing loth, kept her company. 
 
 The young man, however, went ashore at the next 
 stopping-place; but, by this time the curiosity of the 
 Gipps family had been turned upon several other peo 
 ple, and they forgot the Palisades entirely and re 
 mained inside till the saloon began to grow empty, 
 when they retired to their stateroom. 
 
 Miss Tillie was already laid away on the top shelf 
 when Mrs. Gipps made the astounding discovery that 
 her daughter, in packing the satchel so hastily at Fire 
 Island, had left her parent's night-dress and slippers 
 behind. 
 
 As the lost property was not Miss Tillie's, that 
 young lady took an exclusively humorous view of the 
 situation, and several unmistakable giggles emanated 
 from the upper berth. 
 
 "It's no laughing matter!" snappishly cried Mrs. 
 Gipps, once more on the point of falling out with her 
 beloved daughter as all her losses and expenses rushed 
 upon her in their aggregate force. " What am I to 
 do, I'd like to know? I shall freeze! And that was 
 my best night-gown, too; and my slippers hardly 
 worn a bit! You took mighty good care not to leave 
 your own things behind!" 
 
 "I'll give you every night-gown I've got," gayly 
 cried Miss Tillie. " I'll give them to you the very day 
 I order my trousseau, and all the slippers you want; 
 so now ! " 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, striving to console herself with the belief 
 that she was not going to be always poor and pinched, 
 and that the time would soon arrive when the loss of 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 85 
 
 a night-dress and a pair of slippers would be nothing 
 to her, endeavored to compose herself to sleep; but the 
 want of sleeves in the garment she had substituted for 
 the lost one, the whistling- of the boat, and the handling 
 of the freight, kept her awake nearly the whole night. 
 
 In the morning, emerging from their stateroom at 
 the hour when they were due at Catskill, they found 
 a thick fog enveloping the boat, which was scarcely 
 moving; and the stewardess, informing them that it 
 would be a couple of hours yet before they could reach 
 their destination, urgently recommended their taking 
 some breakfast. 
 
 Miss Tillie had been feeling opulent for the last 
 eight-and-forty hours; Mrs. Gipps had been feeling 
 faint and exhausted ever since three o'clock in the 
 morning; and since the colonel was to foot the bills, 
 they resolved to have some breakfast, and accord 
 ingly they gladdened the mulatto woman's heart by 
 acquiescing in her benevolent proposition. 
 
 No sooner had they paid in advance for some 
 very thick coffee and some very cold, overdone steak 
 cut from the hind leg of some superannuated ox, than 
 the boat came to a dead halt. Miss Tillie thought she 
 had grounded or gone ashore and was just going for 
 her life-preserver, when they heard " Catskill ! " an 
 nounced. 
 
 They gulped the coffee down without stopping to 
 taste of it; but the steak reverted to the owners of 
 the boat and appeared on the table that night, on the 
 down trip, in the form of meat patties. 
 
 But their adventures and misfortunes had just 
 begun, especially as they were not quite sure just 
 where they wanted to go. 
 
 Scarcely had they stepped ashore when they were 
 swallowed ux> in a mob of hack-drivers and runners for 
 
86 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 the hotels on the mountains and in the vicinity of the 
 village. 
 
 As soon as Mrs. Gipps had succeeded in explaining 
 that she wanted to go up the mountains somewhere 
 and hunt up some friends by the name of Colonel 
 Flushing-, a chorus of voices arose on alt sides, each 
 one claiming to have taken the party up and to know 
 just where they were. 
 
 It was difficult to know which to believe; but the 
 sturdiest and most ingenious liar in the whole crowd 
 won the day, and then Mrs. Gipps inquired his price. 
 
 " Three dollars apiece from the landing to the Moun 
 tain House, and a dollar an hour after that." 
 
 Mrs. Gipps nearly shrieked. She had been under the 
 impression that she could go up in a stage for half a 
 dollar; but Miss Tillie scowled upon her privately and 
 snarled " Don't !" and the same reflections that had 
 consoled her in all her expenditures hitherto sustained 
 her now. Already they had parted with twenty-two 
 dollars and eight3 r -one cents since starting on this 
 journey, including their expenditures in telegraphing 
 for the lost umbrella and their outlays for the paper 
 bag of crackers and the peanut candy ; but singularly 
 enough, instead of feeling just so much the poorer, the 
 more they spent the richer they felt; and the longer 
 they remained away from home pretending to be 
 wealthy, traveling around in company with other rich 
 people, wearing black silk dresses instead of seersucker 
 petticoats all day long, indulging themselves in all 
 their appetites craved, the stronger grew the hallucina 
 tion that they were very wealthy people and were 
 about to form a matrimonial alliance with a Southern 
 gentleman of vast means. 
 
 They therefore took their seats in the carriage 
 a handsome barouche in perfect condition drawn by 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN *THE CATSKILLS. 87 
 
 two large, glossy, handsome horses, and driven by a 
 crafty, obsequious fellow, who evidently took them 
 for people of fortune, thus adding all the more to the 
 power and force of their own delusions in that respect. 
 
 Little heed the Gipps family gave to the scenery as 
 they passed along. They scarcely observed the effects 
 of the exhilarating air. Miss Tillie was overcome with 
 excitement at thoughts of the approaching meeting 
 with the colonel and the certainty of soon knowing all 
 his secrets; and Mrs. Gipps was silerrtty turning over 
 in her own mind what she was going to do when she 
 came at last into the colonel's presence ; but so many 
 different and opposite contingencies presented them 
 selves to her imagination that she at last resolved to 
 abandon the problem and let matters take their course. 
 
 And matters did take their course. 
 
 They drove to all the hotels on the mountains. Miss 
 Tillie descended from the carriage and paced opulently 
 back and forth on the piazza every time they stopped, 
 sniffed the air knowingly, and gazed with a fine affec 
 tation of aesthetic rapture upon the scenery; and her 
 mother went into the office and examined the register. 
 At last, to their astonishment, after visiting all the 
 large hotels, they came upon a modest little house 
 surrounded by a thick pine grove, where they found on 
 the register, in the colonel's handwriting, under 
 date of the previous Mondaj^, the very day he left Fire 
 Island, " Col. Judson and wife, Eatonton, Ala/' 
 
 The change of name by no means misled the 
 Gippses. They understood it at once. The colonel 
 was with the Jewess; and they were traveling under 
 the name of " Judson," which, of course, belonged to 
 neither. 
 
 Further investigation revealed that they had left 
 the next morning. The proprietor himself had driven 
 
88 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 them to Tannersville and had left them at a boarding- 
 house there. 
 
 The boarding-house was readity designated; their 
 driver knew all about it; and the Gipps family, now full 
 of excitement, unanimously resolved to drive thither 
 forthwith. 
 
 But by this time it was one o'clock in the afternoon; 
 and their obsequious driver humbly begged to be al 
 lowed to bate his horses and eat some dinner before 
 going further. The opulent ladies in the carriage, as a 
 matter of course, graciously acceded to this request, 
 and, the exhilarating air having given them both a 
 fine appetite, they resolved to dine themselves before 
 prosecuting their search further. 
 
 Everything was very economical about the house, 
 the dinner extremely simple and primitive; and the 
 Gipps family wondered and speculated not a little 
 that the colonel should have stopped here; but the 
 landlady presently came in and charged them a dol 
 lar apiece for the meal, her price being gauged accord 
 ing to the supposed depth of her visitors' pocket, and 
 not with any reference to the actual market value of 
 the food and drink provided. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps paid the bill philosophically; Miss Tillie 
 smiled superbly, and cast a few disdainful glances at 
 the cheap furniture; and the two seated themselves 
 loftily in the carriage again. 
 
 "Well, I know one thing!" cried Miss Tillie as they 
 started off. " I never will put up with it to have a hus 
 band take me to a hotel like that ! I want to travel 
 first-class or stay at home. Must be he daren't stop 
 at any of the swell hotels because he had that Jew 
 woman with him." 
 
 " That's just it ! " quickly assented the mother, in 
 deep relief of mind; for she had been secretly cherish- 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY" IN THE CATSKILLS. 89 
 
 ing some sad misgivings as to the actual financial 
 condition of her prospective son-in-law as well as pain 
 ful doubts as to his liberality. " Yes, yes, now you 
 mention it," she murmured, " I can see how it was. 
 They won't take Jews at any o' those big hotels." 
 
 " That's it ! " reaffirmed Miss Tillie. " W T hat a per 
 fectly beastly dinner that was! What horrid stuff 
 that pudden was! Rice pudden made with eggs!" 
 she added contemptuously, though she ate enough 
 of it to banish any doubts the landlady might have 
 entertained as to whether or not it was made right. 
 " No," she continued, as she leaned back with an afflu 
 ent air in the carriage, " I sha'n't let my husband take 
 me to a hotel like that! Now, I wanted some roast 
 turkey to-day, and some ice-cream and pound cake, 
 and English walnuts, and almonds and raisins, and to 
 have to put up with boiled mutton and noth'n' but 
 'taters andVatery spinach, chock full of sand, and rice 
 pudden, and red doilies two inches square, and holes in 
 the table-cloth! I don't care if I do eat off a bare 
 table at home, I want things nice when I go away ; 
 and I shall tell the colonel so mighty quick. But I 
 don't think he'll ever take me to such a mean hole. I 
 s'pose he thought it was good enough for that Jew 
 woman." 
 
 "I think that must be it," replied Mrs. Gipps, strug 
 gling bravely against her fears. "I can't believe but 
 what the colonel has got plenty o' money." 
 
 "Of course he has !" cried Miss Tillie, loftily, " and 
 I'm go'n' to make him spend it ! " 
 
 They reached Tannersville at half-past three; they 
 might have been there an hour earlier, but the horses 
 had walked nearly all the way; and the humble and 
 obsequious driver had stopped three times to talk with 
 his friends by the wayside. 
 
90 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 Arriving at the house to which they had been di 
 rected, they learned from the landlady, Mrs. Has- 
 brouck, and her register that " Colonel Judson and 
 wife, Eaton ton, Ala.," dined there on Tuesday last; 
 and that her son, Mr. Stephen Hasbrouck, had, she 
 believed, driven them over to Dave Van Tassel's, a 
 place several miles distant, where she understood they 
 had taken board. 
 
 Mr. Stephen Hasbrouck was at present off with a 
 party of the boarders and would not be back till about 
 supper time; but when he returned ho could tell them 
 more about it and could take them over to Van Tas 
 sel's if they liked, or wherever it was he had left the 
 parties. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie, in exultation at this 
 cheering news, immediately decided to dismiss their 
 carriage and await the young man's return; but they 
 shuddered at the thought of paying the bill. 
 
 The humble and obsequious driver, however, was not 
 in the least diffident or backward about it. They had 
 arrived at the Mountain House at eleven, and it was 
 now four. 
 
 The bill, he said, was sixteen dollars; and he never 
 quailed or blinked. 
 
 But affluent as the Gipps family felt, they broke 
 into a chorus of astounded "ohs!" and wanted to 
 know how that could be. 
 
 The humble and obsequious driver demonstrated it 
 easily enough. Didn't he agree to charge three dol 
 lars apiece to the Mountain House, and a dollar an 
 hour apiece after that ? 
 
 "What! a dollar apiece! and do you mean to say 
 you charge for the dinner hour too ? " cried Mrs. Gipps. 
 
 Indeed he did, returned the humble and obsequi 
 ous driver. " Why not ? " 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 91 
 
 Of course the Gipps family paid the bill. In fact 
 they had no alternative; for the humble and obsequi 
 ous driver looked capable at any moment of detaining 
 their very persons in default thereof; moreover, the 
 whole community (consisting of the landlady, a near 
 relative of the humble and obsequious driver's wife, 
 and all her hired girls who had known him all their 
 lives) agreed that the bill was exceedingly moderate 
 and just; aud it was a full mile to any other habita 
 tion. 
 
 For a while, as Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie sat alone 
 in the plainly furnished, barren-looking parlor of the 
 unpretentious little boarding-house, they felt impover 
 ished and doleful enough, but when the boarders, 
 dressed for supper, began to appear, their spirits rose; 
 they felt wealthy again; and when the son returned 
 and declared that the distance to the house to which 
 he had driven the colonel was too great and the road 
 too rough to admit of his taking them there with his 
 tired horses that night, they complacently called for 
 a room and remained till the next day. 
 
 On retiring to the privacy of their own apartment 
 Mrs. Gipps, feeling anxious for the immediate future, 
 sat down to count her money. They had neither of 
 them summed up their total expenditures since they 
 started a talent for mental arithmetic not running 
 in the family; and now, to their unbounded astonish 
 ment and alarm, they discovered that they had but 
 fifteen dollars left ! 
 
 " I must V been robbed on the boat last night ! " 
 cried Mrs. Gipps, in bewilderment and fright; and even 
 Miss Tillie looked pale ; but quickly bringing forth her 
 pencil she reckoned up their outlays. 
 
 It was just forty dollars and eighty-one cents! 
 
 So the money had not been stolen they had had 
 
92 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 the pleasure of spending it themselves, and they began 
 to feel better. Their importance rose in their own 
 estimation as they contemplated the total amount. 
 They felt wealthier than ever. What wonderful stories 
 the3 T could tell now of the awful expenses of their sum 
 mer travels to the seaside and mountains, and how 
 they had been imposed upon, what extortions they had 
 suffered ! 
 
 But for the present it was necessary to economize; 
 for there was great peril that long before they could 
 reach home their purse would run dry. It was quite 
 improbable that the colonel would suggest such a thing 
 as rushing through a marriage before returning to the 
 city; and although they could borrow something once 
 he was overtaken, yet they must not recklessly over 
 look the fact that he may have started back or gone 
 beyond the possible reach of their depleted exchequer. 
 
 Under this aspect of affairs Miss Tillie proposed her 
 mother's ascertaining immediately what it was going 
 to cost them for the carriage in the morning; and, to 
 prevent the landlady and her son from harboring any 
 suspicion prejudicial to their financial condition, she 
 must first proclaim her unalterable resolve, in view of 
 the extortions practised upon her, never to hire a car 
 riage again without making her bargain in advance. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps adopted and acted upon the suggestion 
 at once, and presently returned with the alarming in 
 telligence that the man declared his very bottom price 
 for the job was six dollars. And then for a long time 
 there was whispering in the Gipps apartment all un 
 conscious of the beauty of the night outside, of the 
 moonlight on the mountains, of the shadows creeping 
 over the hills, the Gippses sat whispering ! 
 
 In the first place, it was all-important to maintain 
 their dignity and their character as wealthy people. 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 93 
 
 To do so, it was of the first importance not to run out 
 of money ; therefore the} 7 resolved to set forth in the 
 morning on foot immediately after breakfast. 
 
 They would profess to have changed their minds 
 about looking up their friends for the present, and 
 would represent that they were going out for a little 
 stroll. It would, of course, look queer to take their 
 satchel; but they mast manage to carry it so as not 
 to attract attention. Of course it would be impossible 
 to walk any great distance; but they would start and 
 trust in Providence to send some farmer along with 
 an offer of a free ride. 
 
 They carried out the programme to the letter. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, with Christian fortitude and resigna 
 tion, or something resembling these qualities, paid the 
 bill, which was four dollars and a half, and they set 
 forth, greatly to the astonishment of the landlady, who 
 assured them they could never make the journey on 
 foot. But, buoyed up by the belief that everybody 
 thought they were rich, and that the landlady believed 
 what they had told her, they at first felt neither the 
 fatigue of walking nor the burden of carrying the 
 satchel. 
 
 But when their best shoes began to feel ]ike a vise 
 on all their corns and joints, and their best black silk 
 dresses began to be covered with dust, and all the folds 
 and ruffles had turned gray; when their arms began 
 to ache carry ing the satchel by turns, and their fingers 
 came through their gloves in the endeavor to hold 
 their skirts up out of the heavy, yellow dust, and to 
 carry their parasols to protect themselves from the 
 blazing sun ; when their tongues grew parched with 
 thirst, and their black silk dresses, under the hot sun, 
 felt like burning glasses on their backs, and the per 
 spiration rolled down their faces then they felt like 
 
94 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 paupers and pariahs; and, oh! how they longed for 
 their seersucker petticoats, their loose gingham sacks, 
 and their big clacking shoes ! 
 
 But on they trudged, till they came to a huge flat 
 rock under a wide-spreading oak. There was no house 
 in sight and no one visible along the road. Gladly 
 seating themselves they removed their gloves, and, 
 fanning themselves vigorously, they sat there half an 
 hour or more expecting to be overtaken by some ac 
 commodating countryman and invited to ride. 
 
 Their spirits rose, and they talked as usual of the 
 colonel and of their theories and speculations; but 
 when, every now and then, some magnificent carriage 
 with gleaming wheels and harness and splendid horses 
 rolled by with wealthy occupants looking so cool and 
 happy as they sniffed the country air and gazed upon 
 the mountains lying before and on all sides, and when 
 great clouds of dust rolled back upon them in their 
 lowly seat by the roadside, then they began to feel like 
 tramps and vagabonds again. 
 
 Occasionally a clumsy old farmer's wagon passed 
 them; but none offered to take them up. They were 
 too evidently city people, and to these the farmers 
 hereabout no longer offered such courtesies. Matters, 
 therefore, began to look serious. The sun was climbing 
 higher in the sky and the day was growing fiercely 
 hot. 
 
 Miss Tillie was sure her feet were blistered; Mrs. 
 Gipps was hardly able to move, so greatly had she 
 aggravated all her old complaints ; but spurred to rise 
 from their humble seat by the appearance of another 
 affluent party in another large glittering carriage, 
 they again started on their way; and thus they con 
 tinued, alternately walking and resting under shady 
 trees, sometimes appeasing their hunger by picking 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 95 
 
 berries that grew abundantly along- the roadside. The 
 way was lonely, lying the greater part of the time 
 through uncultivated, hilly regions or woods, with 
 only now and then a miserable hovel or a dilapidated 
 farmhouse to be seen. 
 
 "You was talk'n'," remarked Mrs. Gipps, looking 
 drearily around upon the rural scene, "about go'n' to 
 live with the colonel down South. I don't see how 
 you're ago'n' to stand it liv'n* in the country ." 
 
 "Oh, that was all taffy!" replied the young lady. 
 " I had to talk that way to him. But after we are 
 once married, the colonel's got to sell his plantation 
 and come North to live. I want to go to Europe first, 
 and then I want him to buy a house on Fifth Avenue. 
 I despise the country ! If I had my way, there wouldn't 
 be any country. I'd have all the roads paved with 
 Belgian blocks or asphalt like the drives in Central 
 Park. And these horrid frightful woods I'd have all 
 chopped down. I don't see anything here to make 
 such a fuss about. As to its being cooler in the coun 
 try, I never was so hot in New York City as I am this 
 minute." 
 
 "Me neither," responded the mother. "It's just as 
 hot here as anywhere. I never could see anything in 
 the country to admire." 
 
 And true it was, the beautiful shaded walks, the 
 romantic vistas through the woods, the glimpses of 
 mountains and distant woodlands, had no value for 
 them; but on they drearily tramped, striving to ap 
 pear to the dwellers of the few habitations they passed, 
 or to the people they met, as if they enjoyed them 
 selves and were walking for exercise, though they were 
 faint with hunger, paralyzed with fatigue, and over 
 come with heat, and yet, although it was now two 
 o'clock, they had not traveled above two miles; more- 
 
96 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 over, a shower was evidently imminent, and they had 
 no umbrella. 
 
 Under these circumstances they unanimously agreed 
 that there could be no danger whatever of their not 
 finding the colonel at last, in which case they would be 
 in funds again; therefore it was perfect folly to 
 put these miseries upon themselves, and they were re 
 solved to stop at the next respectable-looking habita 
 tion, ask for dinner, and see if they could hire any kind 
 of an inexpensive farmer's wagon with a steady horse 
 which they could drive themselves. 
 
 By this time the sky had grown inky black, the 
 wind had risen, the trees in the woods whistled fright 
 fully; there was a sudden and appalling change of 
 temperature; loud bursts of thunder quickly followed 
 one another, and soon great drops of rain dashed furi 
 ously against them. There was not a house of any de 
 scription anywhere to be seen till the storm was full 
 upon them, when, drenched through, bespattered with 
 mud, breathless from running, they arrived at a two- 
 story white farmhouse standing on a hill some dis 
 tance back from the road. 
 
 A tall woman, with the same bright red cheeks which 
 they had seen everywhere here in the mountains, was 
 standing at a side door looking out upon the storm, 
 and as she saw the strangers approaching she disap 
 peared a moment, reappearing at the front door, which 
 she unbolted with a loud noise and opened with some 
 difficulty, as if it were used only on rare occasions. 
 
 Her visitors were evidently city people she was 
 sure of that; though how to account for their predica 
 ment was a mystery; but she opened the door wide 
 and invited them in with all the cordiality to be ex 
 pected of a substantial farmer's wife who had always 
 supposed herself as goed as anybody else, till the city 
 
THE GTPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 97 
 
 people began to come about, and till her daughter, who 
 had gone to be a chambermaid at one of the hotels on 
 the mountains, had been snubbed and taught her place 
 by the ladies. 
 
 But she invited the bedraggled, sorry-looking pair 
 in, took them into her best spare bedroom, hung their 
 clothes up to dry by the kitchen fire, and very readily 
 agreed to keep them all night. Then she laid a cloth 
 for their supper by themselves in the dining-room, an 
 apartment rarely put to such a use, it being commonly 
 employed as a sitting-room. 
 
 By the time their clothes were dry their supper was 
 ready ; and with all possible expedition they dressed 
 for the much-longed-for meal, which they found to 
 consist of cold boiled ham, hot biscuit, potcheese, rasp 
 berries and cream, four kinds of cake, and green tea. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie, famished though they 
 were, yet determined to let pass no opportunity to 
 show off their gentility, loftily survej'ed the ample re 
 past, and remarked superciliously that they never ate 
 ham, after which, without further pretense to aristoc 
 racy of appetite, they fairly bankrupted the table. By 
 this time, the rain having ceased, they withdrew to the 
 piazza, from which there was a fine view of the moun 
 tains ; and here they contentedly sat and ridiculed every 
 thing they had eaten and everything in the house which 
 they had seen; then they penetrated into the bosom of 
 the farmer's family, whom they found in the kitchen. 
 
 The men were smoking on the porch around the 
 back door; the farmer's wife and her grown-up daugh 
 ter were washing up the dishes. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie condescended to accept 
 
 seats, though with great loftiness, and explained their 
 
 desilfe to procure some kind of a conveyance for a 
 
 couple of hours the next morning. They wanted a 
 
 7 
 
98 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 horse which they could drive themselves (and they 
 were privately resolved to make him accomplish the 
 journey in the time specified). 
 
 The farmer's wife introduced her husband, who was 
 smoking a pipe in the doorway; but he was not very 
 cordial in his greeting, nor did he appear to cudgel his 
 brains very much to study how to advance their inter 
 ests. Not to mention the way his girl, Jenny, had had 
 her feelings hurt at the hotel, he had suffered not a lit 
 tle at the hands of the summer boarders of the vicinage 
 himself. They came to his house and drank up all his 
 spruce beer and buttermilk without offering to pay a 
 penny; they went through his woods and killed his 
 trees, stripping off the bark; they took down his pas 
 ture bars and left them down and let all his cattle and 
 sheep into the road for him to hunt for, or, perhaps, 
 rescue from the pound after paying his fine ; they ran 
 over his wheat fields as if tramping down wheat 
 would make it grow and all the easier to cut; and one 
 of their bird dogs killed one of his finest turkeys one 
 day, thus throwing a large family of little ones upon 
 the world to be devoured by hawks; and they stopped 
 and impressed him into their service for repairs to 
 their carriages or harness when he had his own work 
 to do, or was already tired out even to the extent of 
 taking off a wagon wheel to grease. 
 
 So when he turned and acknowledged the introduc 
 tion to Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie, he was by no means 
 the" same hospitable old codger he always was when 
 the neighbors dropped in or when the minister called ; 
 for, besides all the rest, his wife had told him what 
 thej 7 said about not eating ham. 
 
 His own horses, he said, were not fit for a lady to 
 drive ; besides which, he was working them and was 
 very busy getting in his rye. 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 99 
 
 "Dear me!" cried Mrs. Gipps, arrogantly, "can't 
 you spare your horse for just two hours ?" 
 
 " Can't do it, r'ally," returned the farmer, studying 
 the toe of his boot very attentively, but determined to 
 stick to what he said. " I ain't got only four horses 
 now, anyway, and there ain't none of 'em I could trust 
 a lady to drive. None o' my women folks ever drive 
 'em. They skeer too easy; and one on 'em r'ars, and 
 t'other two are only colts they was only broke to 
 harness last fall." 
 
 " Dear me ! what'll we do ! " cried the disappointed 
 Gipps family in a chorus, gazing- in despair at the 
 hard-hearted farmer. 
 
 " It's very important for us to get off from here early 
 in the morning ; and we only want a horse two hours," 
 pleaded Mrs. Gipps. 
 
 " I'm sorry," replied the farmer, knocking the ashes 
 from his pipe without looking at the distressed ladies; 
 and, thinking all the time about the bird dog, and the 
 wagon wheel he greased, and about how he and his 
 wife and his girl Jenny had been looked down upon 
 by the city people, he added inexorably, " I'd send one 
 o' my men with ye, but you see how I'm fixed my 
 rye's got to be got in." 
 
 " Well, then, dear me ! " cried Mrs. Gipps, pettishly, 
 " can't you tell us where we can get a horse ? " 
 
 " No, I can't, r'alty," coldly replied the farmer, fold 
 ing his arms and puffing away at his pipe. " Everbody 
 about here is awful busy getting in their rye; and I'm 
 sure I don't know where you could get a rig." 
 
 " Father, don't you think," interposed the daughter, 
 a little ashamed of her father's behavior, " that p'raps 
 they might get Bowler's horse and buggy ? " 
 
 " Wall, I don't know," replied the father, "p'raps so. 
 But I guess Bowler's gett'n' in his rye, too," 
 
100 COL. JUDSOJST OF ALABAMA. 
 
 "Wall, for my part/' said the farmer's wife, thinking 
 her husband was piling 1 on the vindictive a little too 
 steep considering that these boarders didn't own the 
 bird-dog and that they hadn't let down the bars yet, 
 though to be sure they said they never ate ham; but 
 as long as they did eat it, she was willing to accept 
 that as an apology and overlook the offense. " For my 
 part/' she said, "I think Bowler's folks would be glad 
 o' the chance to let out their hoss." 
 
 Bowler, she explained, resided in the next house, a 
 quarter of a mile beyond. 
 
 " If you like, I'll send one o' the boys to see," she 
 added. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, having by this time abated somewhat 
 of her arrogance, declared that she would consider it 
 a great favor; and the boy set off, presently returning 
 with Mrs. Bowler, a thin, unwholesome-looking little 
 woman in a green calico sun-bonnet. 
 
 The Bowlers belonged to quite a different stratum 
 of society altogether from that to which the Hardings 
 belonged. Bowler owned only about forty or fifty 
 acres; a part of the time he worked out by the day 
 among the larger farmers; and Mrs. Bowler was al 
 ways trying to get enough ahead to be able to fix up 
 the house so she could take summer boarders; for 
 their house had a fine view of the mountains, and they 
 had an excellent well of water and some splendid old 
 shade trees; so she was very glad of the opportunity 
 to let the horse and wagon, as Bowler could get along 
 without it for half a day. 
 
 She was very timid and greatly overawed by the 
 august presence of two such magnificent city ladies; 
 and aware of her own deficiencies as well as of the de 
 ficiencies of both the horse and wagon, she made the 
 bargain without once raising her eyes or attempting 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 101 
 
 to look them in the face; so Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie 
 had it all their own way and made the compact to suit 
 themselves. 
 
 They would pay a dollar and keep the carriage from 
 two to three hours! 
 
 " It will depend on how fast your horse goes about 
 when we shall send him back," said Mrs. Gipps, trying 
 to throw the responsibility on the horse. 
 
 " Yes/' meekly assented Mrs. Bowler, " and on the 
 distance," but this timid hint drew forth no explana 
 tion. Mrs. Gipps dodged the question by abruptly in 
 quiring if the horse was perfectly safe, and if there 
 was any danger of his running away. 
 
 This latter branch of the question brought the blush 
 of shame to poor Mrs. Bowler's mouldy cheek. " You 
 couldn't git him to run, to save you," she replied. 
 " He's perfectly safe and gentle; only he's awful slow; 
 but I'll give you the whip, and you can make him trot 
 on a level." 
 
 " Well, if he's that slow," quickly returned Mrs. 
 Gipps, " there's no knowing how long it'll take to go 
 where we want to go; though it isn't far." 
 
 " Oh, well, as to that," replied Mrs. Bowler, feeling 
 hard pushed, " you needn't to worry. Bowler'll man 
 age to get along. Of course I know he's awful slow." 
 
 " Guess we'll have to work our passage, ma," tit 
 tered Miss Gipps; and Mrs. Bowler took her leave very 
 much discomfited, though gratified at the prospect of 
 making a dollar. 
 
 As soon as the poor woman departed, Mrs. Gipps 
 and Miss Tillie, anxious to establish their character as 
 people of wealth and fashion, immediately began apol 
 ogizing for the hard bargain they had driven, by nar 
 rating their adventures and inveighing against the 
 extortion to which they had been everywhere sub- 
 
102 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 jected. In speaking of these latter matters, the hotel 
 bill at Fire Island, where they said they stayed a week, 
 became fifty-six dollars; the lost umbrella was worth 
 fifteen dollars, the telegram cost two dollars and a 
 half, meals on the boat were a dollar apiece, they gave 
 a couple of dollars to the stewardess and a five-dollar 
 bill to the steward ; and finally the livery bill up the 
 mountains was twenty dollars. 
 
 Hearing all these magnificent stories and believing 
 them implicitly, Mrs. Harding sent her daughter to 
 put two extra rugs down in her guests' room, directed 
 her to fill the best lamp, and to put another clean 
 towel in the room; and the next morning (apologizing 
 for having no " butcher's meat ") she gave them a 
 breakfast of fried ham and eggs, fried potatoes, hot 
 biscuit, raspberry pie (with a top crust), doughnuts, 
 coffee, and a pitcher of " whole milk "; and for the two 
 meals for both, and their lodging, she charged them 
 three dollars. 
 
 " Now," whispered Mrs. Gipps, as they seated them 
 selves on the piazza to wait for Mrs. Bowler with the 
 carriage, " we'll have to look to the colonel for a loan, 
 cert'n'; for I've got only seven dollars and a half left." 
 
 " Well, don't fret about that," replied Miss Tillie, de 
 termined to throw away dull care. " It doesn't give 
 me a particle of uneasiness; and why should it you ? 
 The colonel is a perfect gentleman; and when we tell 
 him how we've been fleeced he'll offer us a loan with 
 out waiting to be ast. So don't you say another word 
 to me about money till we get there. I like to enjoy 
 myself. I despise to be frett'n' about money. I know 
 I'm goin' to marry a rich man, and I'm not going to 
 worry myself to death about expenses." 
 
 "Well, we've got this carriage cheap that's one 
 good thing," mused Mrs. Gipps; "and it's time that 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 103 
 
 woman was here with it," she added, suddenly rousing 
 up. " What does she mean by being so late as this, I 
 wonder! What a miserable, good-for-noth'n', shilly 
 shally, shiftless thing 1 she must be ! " 
 
 Mrs. Bowler had agreed to bring- around the horse 
 and buggy at nine o'clock, and to be punctual; but at 
 nine-thirty she had not yet appeared. Miss Tillie and 
 her mother, with the satchel at their side, still sat 
 awaiting her on the front piazza. 
 
 "Now, I tell you what it is!" cried Miss Tillie at 
 last, looking at her watch and then in the direction of 
 the Bowlers', "that woman ain't comin' a single step! 
 She wasn't satisfied with the price." 
 
 " What in the world shall we do ? " groaned Mrs. 
 Gipps. 
 
 " Less take the satchel and Walk over and let on we 
 didn't mind the walk; and if we find she's gone back 
 on us, less offer her a dollar and a half." 
 
 " Very well," replied Mrs. Gipps, with a sigh. 
 
 " You carry the satchel till I put on my gloves," said 
 Miss Tillie, " and then I'll take it." But as she had only 
 concluded her labors on the last button as they reached 
 the Bowlers' dooryard, the mother carried it the 
 whole way. 
 
 As they reached the picturesque but somewhat di 
 lapidated abode of the Bowlers, they found Mrs. 
 Bowler just "hitching up." "He" had gone to work, 
 she explained, and that was why she was doing it her 
 self; and as they entered the dooryard she was en 
 gaged in driving nails into some part of the bug-gy 
 with a hammer. 
 
 "Dear me! " cried Miss Tillie, arrogantly, as soon as 
 it became evident that Mrs. Bowler harbored no 
 thought of " going back " on her bargain, " here we 
 have been waiting for you half an hour, and had to 
 
104 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 walk this frightful distance, and you not ready 
 yet!" 
 
 " Why ! is it nine already ! " cried Mrs. Bowler, in 
 affright. "My sakes! how time does slip away! I 
 hope you'll excuse me. I had no idea it was so late. 
 My clock don't go. It's been out o' order now for 
 more'n a year and ain't got fixed yet, but I hope to get 
 it in order this fall." 
 
 " Well, it's to be hoped you will," sarcastically re 
 torted Miss Tillie. " Poor ma is tired half to death 
 and so am I; and we had this satchel to carry. Ma, 
 let me hold it, you look so beat out." 
 
 " I'm real sorry, I am indeed," replied Mrs. Bowler, 
 backing around the horse for them to get into the 
 bugg3 r , and striving hard, in her mild, meek way, to 
 maintain the attitude and countenance of a peer. 
 Though but a small farmer's wife and unused to being 
 treated with deference by any one, she was by no 
 means accustomed to being flouted at and treated as 
 a vassal or serf except, perhaps, by Bowler. " It was 
 my fault," she said apologetically. "I ought to 'a' 
 begun sooner; but I'm bring'n' up our calf by hand ; 
 an' this morning, the little slut! she kicked her pail 
 over, an' I had to heat another pan o' milk for her! 
 So that's the way time goes; and, as I said, I didn't 
 r'ally know it was so late and I looked at the mark 
 on the window sill, too." 
 
 By this time Mrs. Gipps and Miss Tillie had suc 
 ceeded in climbing into the wagon. 
 
 It was a top-buggy, very respectable looking at first 
 sight, but much worn and out of repair; and poor Mrs. 
 Bowler, as they seated themselves magnificently on 
 the old, worn-out cushion and took up the reins, both 
 looked and felt that she was swindling them. 
 
 "I'll have to tell you," she said in deep mortifica- 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 105 
 
 tion, " that you'll have to be a little keerf ul about how 
 you drive down hill. I'm afraid o' them holdbacks; 
 but mebbe they'll do. I've been driving- some nails in. 
 If they was to give 'way you might be killed," she 
 added nervously. 
 
 "Well, that's pleasant, I'm sure!" loftily returned 
 Miss Tillie, looking- censorious and haughty. "We 
 ought to 'a' got our lives insured, ma." 
 
 But Mrs. Gipps, perversely believing the woman was 
 only speaking a word in the interest of the poor old 
 horse to protect him against fast driving, only prom 
 ised to be careful, but was nevertheless resolved to 
 'drive as fast as she could go. 
 
 " Can't this top be put up ? " peevishly demanded 
 Miss Tillie, as the hot sun fell upon them. 
 
 " The top's broken," replied poor Mrs. Bowler, look 
 ing ready to die of shame and conscious guilt. " I'm 
 sorry, but he broke it this spring at the station. An 
 other team took fright and backed into him, and it 
 ain't got mended yet, though he's been a-going to get 
 it done I don't know how many times." 
 
 " Well, that's nice, I must say ! " cried the mother 
 and daughter in a scornful, indignant chorus. 
 
 " What's the use of a top if it can't be put up ? " ar 
 rogantly demanded Mrs. Gipps. And then, satisfied 
 that Mrs. B^owler would not have the courage, in face 
 of these facts, to increase her charges, however long 
 the} r might keep the horse, she drove off. 
 
 And greatly elated they were. The morning was 
 lovely, the air bracing, the horse and buggy fairly re 
 spectable, and the colonel not above six miles away ! 
 What could hinder them at last from safely arriving 
 at the goal of their ambition ? 
 
 As soon as they were out of sight, Mrs. Gipps, with 
 whip in hand, began to test the abilities of the horse, 
 
106 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 which, thus far, had displayed greater energy and 
 activity with his tail, which he constantly switched 
 over the reins, than with his legs. 
 
 Applying the whip energetically to the poor beast's 
 back, she succeeded in forcing him into a trot for a 
 dozen yards or so; then he came sluggishly down to a 
 very deliberate walk again, and switched his tail over 
 the reins. 
 
 Mrs. Gipps, enraged at the labor of removing this 
 burden, at every other minute, from the reins, kept up 
 a constant application of the whip, making him trot 
 up hill and down; while on a level, when there was 
 no one in sight, she forced him into a gallop. 
 
 "I'll make ye go!" she yelled; while Miss Tillie, 
 looking on with delight, triumphantly caroled forth a 
 song: 
 
 " I had a little pony his name was Dapple Gray; 
 I lent him to a lady to ride a mile away. 
 She licked him, she lashed him, she drove him through the 
 
 mire; - 
 I wouldn't lend my pony again for all the lady's hire." 
 
 In this way they traveled about three miles. The 
 horse was reeking with foam, and could be kept out of 
 the slowest and feeblest of walks only by a constant 
 application of the whip which the pitiless driver car 
 ried in her hand all the time. Miss Tillie was still 
 joyously caroling her song; and Mrs. Gipps, as they 
 reached the top of a long, steep hill, lashing the horse 
 with more energy than grace, cried out : 
 
 "Now get along with ye! You needn't think you're 
 go'n' to walk down hill and up hill too! " 
 
 It was the last time she was called upon for that 
 day to flourish her whip. 
 
 The jaded animal broke into his ungainly, sluggish 
 gallop his favorite gait when not allowed to walk, 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 107 
 
 jerking the carriage violently after him; and the next 
 thing the hilarious party in the buggy knew, their 
 hitherto spiritless, imperturbable beast gave sudden 
 and overwhelming proof of latent power and energy 
 utterly unsuspected kicking and plunging and appa 
 rently striving to jump out of the harness, if not out 
 of his very skin, and running at a furious rate down 
 the steep, rocky hill. What had happened to cause this 
 sudden and awful development of energy neither of 
 the astonished and terrified females in the buggy once 
 surmised, both of them having long ago forgotten Mrs. 
 Bowler's warning concerning the holdbacks, if, indeed, 
 they knew at all what holdbacks were, or what they 
 were good for, much less what would happen if they 
 should suddenly give out, as was now, at last, the case. 
 But they knew the buggy was swaying frightfully 
 from side to side, jolting violently over the stones, 
 shaking them up till their teeth chattered ; and it was 
 very clear that a smashup, if not a funeral or two, 
 would soon be numbered among the adventures of their 
 summer travels, and that, moreover, in a very unfavor 
 able location; for they were not only at the top of a 
 very steep hill, but at a curve of the road with a stone 
 wall straight ahead on one side of the highway and a 
 high embankment on the other. Now, would the 
 horse, maddened brute that he was, even though only 
 out of consideration for himself, and without regard 
 to the heartless parties in the buggy, follow the bend 
 of the road, or would he commit the suicidal folly of 
 keeping on in a straight line and dash himself and his 
 encumbrances against the wall ? Evidences pointed to 
 the latter course as inevitable ; and the Gipps family, 
 for the first time in years, spasmodically embraced 
 one another; but finding no hope of succor or salva 
 tion in one another's arms, they threw each other off 
 
108 COL. JUDSOIST OF ALABAMA. 
 
 like the repellent forces of two electrified bodies; and 
 without consultation or any preconcerted arrangement, 
 they simultaneously leaped from the carriage and went 
 together down the embankment, rolling over and over 
 the loose stones and loose earth, snatching fruitlessly 
 at the tufts of coarse grass growing out of the gravel, 
 till it seemed to them both that they would never 
 reach bottom; but at last there was a splash; cold 
 water penetrated in places to their skin and dashed 
 over their faces. They had brought up in a shallow 
 frog-pond at the foot of the embankment ! 
 
 Miss Tillie was the first to express her emotion. 
 
 "That devilish horse! That woman ought to be 
 sued for damages ! Oh, I'm killed ! " 
 
 She rose staggering, with difficulty dragging her 
 feet out of the mud at the bottom of the pond. 
 
 " Can't you get out ? " she cried censoriously to her 
 mother, who was still floundering in the mud and 
 slime. 
 
 " Help me ! " feebly moaned the mother. " I guess 
 my bones are all broke. I feel awful." 
 
 "I guess you can't be hurt more'n me! " replied the 
 affectionate daughter. " I'm most killed ! " 
 
 The poor woman, with the ungracious aid of her un 
 feeling offspring, limped painfully out of the frog-pond 
 and sat down, groaning, on a rock in the muddy sides 
 of the embankment; while Miss Tillie, somewhat re 
 covered from the shock of her fall, began searching 
 the pond with a stick. 
 
 " What are you lookin* for ? " called out her mother 
 in fault-finding tones. 
 
 Miss Tillie fixed her gaze upon her parent with a 
 fearful scowl. She had thus far refrained from divulg 
 ing her misfortune, knowing her mother in ill condi 
 tion to bear it; but now that she began to despair of 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 109 
 
 retrieving 1 her loss, it was necessary to her own peace 
 of mind to find somebody or something- to blame. 
 
 "If you hadn't beaten that horse so unmercifully 
 this wouldn't have happened ! " she cried. 
 
 " What you lost ? " demanded her mother, apprehen 
 sively. 
 
 " I've lost my teeth, that's what I've lost/' fiercely 
 retorted the lovely damsel. 
 
 "Good Lord!" cried the mother, as the full import 
 of the misfortune dawned upon her a rich son-in-law 
 dissolving- into thin air, a grand speculation coming" 
 to naught, a homeward journey with an empty treas 
 ury, the mortgage foreclosed! 
 
 She hobbled anxiously to the edge of the pond and 
 with another stick joined industriously in the search; 
 but it was all in vain. They fished up nothing but 
 long, green ropes of slime, and were obliged to aban 
 don the quest; and together, and not without some 
 difficulty, the two painfully crawled up the steep em 
 bankment to the road, where they found the carriage 
 scattered promiscuously about the country the front 
 wheels in the middle of the road, the shafts broken on 
 the ground near the wall, while the rear wheels and 
 the top of the buggy had gone over the wall and lay in 
 a heap on the ground in the rocky pasture beyond ; and 
 the horse, dragging along- with him the reins and the 
 harness, which was broken in every direction, was 
 tranquilly grazing under the shade of some tall hick 
 ory-trees half way down the hill. 
 
 " What a narrer escape ! " g-asped Mrs. Gipps, as she 
 surveyed the scene; and seating herself slowly and 
 painfully on a rock by the roadside, she murmured 
 feebly, "I've hurt my knee awful, and I'm afraid I've 
 sprained my wrist." 
 
 On taking a survey of the surrounding's and calcu- 
 
110 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 lating 1 the distance they had traveled, they decided to 
 conclude their journe3 r on foot across lots. From the 
 top of the hill on which they stood they could see, diag 
 onally across the pasture and woods beyond, the top 
 of a tall, red, old-fashioned brick building- on a side 
 road; and they remembered that Mr. Stephen Has- 
 brouck, the young- man who had conveyed the colonel 
 to his destination, told them that it was half a mile 
 teeyond " the old brick church." 
 
 " I don't believe it's more'n a mile across lots," as 
 severated Miss Tillie; "and after spending all this 
 money I, for one, had rather walk than give up.-" 
 
 " It's more'n a mile to that church," responded Mrs. 
 Gipps, dolefully, " and that place where the colonel is 
 is half a mile further, and my knee hurts me awful, 
 and so does my wrist. Still, we've not got enough 
 money to get home with; so I don't see but what we've 
 got to go on." 
 
 "You don't have to go on your hands and knees, 
 that's one good thing," feelingly remarked the affec 
 tionate daughter. " So your wrist can't prevent your 
 walking; and I guess as soon as we can find some 
 water to clean off this stuff you'll be all right. You 
 got off easy, compared to me." 
 
 Miss. Tillie then, as the most able-bodied member of 
 the family, started in search of their missing property, 
 and succeeded in finding their parasols half way down 
 the hill, somewhat dusty and a little frayed out, but 
 otherwise uninjured. The satchel she found, after 
 climbing the stone wall into the pasture, lying under 
 the top of the buggy in perfect condition, though 
 not easily dragged forth. But her mother's dolman 
 was pinned to the earth and driven deep into the soil 
 by several splinters from the wreckage of the wagon 
 seat, and for all the purposes of dolman, for the 
 present at least, it appeared to be useless. 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. Ill 
 
 " Oh, dear ! how my knee pains me ! and my wrist 
 too ! " moaned Mrs. Gripps, as they started off across 
 the rocky, hilly pasture. 
 
 " You better talk ! " cried the loving daughter, pet 
 tishly. "You got off lucky, compared to me! What 
 am I going to do without my teeth when we meet the 
 colonel ? " 
 
 Now, Miss Tillie, from the first moment that she be 
 gan to fear her teeth were gone forever, commenced to 
 formulate a scheme for her relief, otherwise she would 
 not have gone on one step toward the admirer of her 
 cold, passionless, Northern beauty. 
 " You can't expect any man to go crazy in love with 
 a girl," she added insinuatingly, " when he knows all 
 about her teeth before he marries her." 
 
 " Well, what are you going to do about it ? " snap 
 pishly demanded the mother, suspecting all along the 
 designs of her selfish offspring. 
 
 " It's as much to your interest as it is to mine," pur 
 sued Miss Tillie, evasively. 
 
 " Well, out with it ! " peevishly retorted the by no 
 means self-sacrificing mother. 
 
 " He ain't courting you," continued the artful daugh 
 ter. " I know one person's teeth don't fit another per 
 son, but it's the best I can do. You don't show it so 
 when your teeth are out. If you were in the fix I am, 
 I'd lend you mine." 
 
 "Matilda Gipps!" screamed the mother, "you al 
 ways was, a selfish girl! " 
 
 "Oh! if you don't consider it to your own interest 
 as much as mine, don't lend 'em ! " retorted Miss Tillie, 
 haughtily. 
 
 " Of course I'm going to lend 'em," snarled back the 
 mother. "You don't want 'em this very minute, do 
 you?" 
 
112 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 By this time they had descended the hill in the pas 
 ture and arrived in sight of a wide, shallow brook, 
 where Miss Tillie proposed that they should make 
 their toilet. 
 
 " How are we ever going to get over this brook ? " 
 demanded Mrs. Gipps, querulously. 
 
 But Miss Tillie had already espied a small, round- 
 bottomed boat moored to a stake behind some bushes. 
 
 "If we can't row, we can pole the boat across," she 
 said; and they began their much needed ablutions. 
 
 " It does seem hard we couldn't 'a' rolled into decent 
 water," sighed Miss Tillie, as she struggled to repair 
 the damages wrought by the frog-pond. 
 
 After laboring in vain for a long time to restore her 
 valued habiliments to their pristine splendor, she 
 paused again in her work, exclaiming in tones of abso 
 lute conviction : 
 
 " It's no use ! My clothes are ruined ! My hat looks 
 like I'd worn it forty years ! It's no use talking, 'tain't 
 safe driving a strange horse." 
 
 With these melancholy plaints, she completed her 
 toilet and turned to her mother, who, having appar 
 ently forgotten her engagement about the teeth, was 
 seated on a rock under an oak, nursing her wounds : 
 
 " Well, are you going to lend me your teeth, or not ? " 
 she peevishly demanded. " I guess if you were in my 
 fix I wouldn't wait to be ast." 
 
 " Take 'em ! " snarled the ungenerous mother. 
 
 Miss Tillie, with an air of unconcealed disgust and 
 loathing, took the teeth in the tips of her fingers, went 
 down to the brook, washed and wiped them dry, and 
 then, contemplating them for a moment, exclaimed: 
 
 "Ugh! It makes me sick to think of wearing any 
 person else's teeth!" With this final burst of filial 
 affection, she thrust the plate into her mouth; but it 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 113 
 
 was a far better fit than she had dared hope, and once 
 more her spirits rose and she felt that her fortune was 
 assured. 
 
 " Come on ! " she called gayly as she paddled the 
 boat from its moorings and placed the satchel in the 
 bottom. " It's almost noon and I'm half-starved. If 
 we're ever going, less go." 
 
 " I guess you can't be no hungrier 'n me/' returned 
 the wretched mother, limping painfully to the boat. 
 "What are you trying to do?" she shrieked as her 
 gifted daughter, seizing an oar, began knowingly pol 
 ing the boat across the brook. 
 
 " I guess I know what I'm about," retorted Miss 
 Tillie. " There ain't more 'n two inches o' water in this 
 brook, anyhow. You ain't going to drown to-day." 
 
 " Well, I don't want to get wet," yelled the mother 
 again as Miss Tillie, standing in the middle of the 
 boat, punched the river bottom maliciously -with her 
 oar. 
 
 " I want to get across," she said. " You needn't be 
 afraid. This ain't none o' your frog-ponds." 
 
 "Oh! oh! we're go'n' over!" again shrieked the 
 wretched passenger, as the boat tipped first to one 
 side and then the other. 
 
 " Let it go over, then ! " indignantly retorted Miss 
 Tillie. " You make such a rumpus I've a mind to up 
 set it a purpose." 
 
 But, despite her declarations, she was by no means 
 anxious to upset the boat, even out of revenge; her 
 opinion of her ability to pole a boat safely across a 
 brook, however, exceeded any just claim to skill in that 
 direction; but to convince her incredulous parent of 
 her natural gift to do anything she undertook, she 
 gave one more tremendous lunge at the pebbly bottom 
 of the stream, the boat reeled drunkenly through the 
 8 
 
114 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 water, and the frantic passenger, in the wild endeavor 
 to "balance it on both sides, succeeded in overturning 
 it. 
 
 The water was not deep enough to cause even the 
 briefest delay in the family hostilities which naturally 
 ensued, Mrs. Gipps, embracing the satchel, which had 
 fallen upon her, crying out, as she hurried to wade 
 ashore : 
 
 " Matilda Gipps ! you ought to be ashamed of your 
 self ! Here I am spending my last dollar to get you a 
 husband, and lending you my teeth into the bargain, 
 and, as if I ain't suffered enough gett'n' thrown out o' 
 the buggy, you go and upset that boat ! You done it 
 a purpose! You spiteful, good-for-nothing girl, you!" 
 
 " You better talk ! " cried Miss Tillie, surveying her 
 dripping clothes which she had so recently labored to 
 clean. " You upset the boat yourself ! Look at me ! 
 Sopping wet! and I want my dinner, and now got to 
 stay here till my clothes are dry! I'm that hungry I 
 could eat a corpse ! " 
 
 After some further animated interchange of compli 
 ments, some further acrimonious discussion of the 
 cause of the accident, and some futile attempts on the 
 part of each to shirk the whole responsibility of the 
 catastrophe upon the other, they set to work to dry 
 their clothes, their efforts in this direction being gen 
 erously supplemented by those of the sun, which was 
 now high in the heavens and pouring a scorching heat 
 upon the rocks and dried earth around them. 
 
 Absorbed in this occupation, hostilities, for the time 
 being, were suspended; and mother and daughter, feel 
 ing a deep pecuniary interest in one another's proper 
 appearance on coming into the presence of the colonel 
 consulted together amicably on the business in hand. 
 
 " For my part," said Miss Tillie, with satisfaction, 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 115 
 
 after a second or third examination of her black silk 
 dress as it lay drying 1 on the short grass, " I'm begin 
 ning- to be glad of it that we did get upset. My dress 
 looks all the better for being washed/' And her youth 
 ful buoyancy returning, she again began to weave 
 bright romances about the colonel, smiling and ogling 
 to herself as she turned the clothes on the grass, and 
 occasionally dropping a remark or so to her mother as 
 to what she should do or what she should have when 
 she and the colonel were married. 
 
 The black silk dresses were nearly dry, and Miss 
 Tillie, in graceful dishabille, was sitting on a rock 
 under the shade of a broad-spreading maple, ruminat 
 ing on the bliss of being the colonel's bride, and bathed 
 in bright reveries of the manj' black silk dresses she 
 was to have in the near future, when, glancing ab 
 stractedly around the vast lonely pasture, the dreamy 
 tenderness suddenly faded out of her eye, an expres 
 sion of terror overspread her countenance, and, with a 
 yell that was neither musical nor dainty, she leaped to 
 her feet. 
 
 "Gracious heavens! what you screeching 'bout !" 
 cried the mother, looking hastily around the pasture. 
 She had no occasion to await an explanation. 
 
 A huge, black, horned animal, with a short thick 
 neck and fiery red nostrils, was charging down upon 
 them with a low, deep roar, from the hill above. 
 
 Without pausing for consultation or comment, they 
 seized their bonnets and their black silk dresses, but 
 neither of them stopped for satchel, gloves, or ribbons. 
 The bull was rushing furiously upon them; and the 
 Gipps family, now thoroughly reunited and unani 
 mous, started for the nearest fence, which skirted along 
 a swampy woods. 
 
 The race was distinguished by neither grace nor any 
 
116 COL. JUDSOtf OF ALABAMA. 
 
 pretension to style or gentility, but was characterized 
 solely by an incredible degree of speed, of which, to 
 their d3 r ing day, the Gipps family declared they had 
 never suspected themselves capable. They out-ran 
 the bull by nearly a dozen yards, victoriously reached 
 the fence, and threw themselves and their black silk 
 dresses over without any regard to appearances or 
 any observation of the conventionalities of life. No 
 sooner were they on the other side than the bull 
 caught up with them and charged upon the fence with 
 such fury and resolution that the Gipps family, still 
 unanimous, seized up their black silk dresses and 
 plunged into the trackless woods, reckless whither 
 they fled, and presently found themselves floundering 
 in the deep black mud of a blackberry bog and fight 
 ing with the blackberry briars in a wild tussle for the 
 possession of their precious silks and their other gar 
 ments. 
 
 " It does seem as if the Old Harry is to pay to-day ! " 
 snarled Miss Tillie. " I'm get'n' all scratched up and 
 all bitten to pieces," she whined, struggling with clouds 
 of mosquitoes and midges. " How'll I look when the 
 colonel sees me! Seems queer you had to lead the 
 way into this swamp ! " 
 
 The wretched parent was too busy for counter 
 charges. She was in the thickest of the jungle and 
 the softest of the bog; as fast as she extricated one 
 foot from the mud, the other sank deeper yet; and no 
 sooner did she rend away a sleeve or a ruffle of her 
 sacred gown from the briars, than the precious lace 
 trimmings or another ruffle was caught fast. 
 
 She could find no respite for quarreling, nor was 
 anything more heard from Miss Tillie for some time 
 than an inarticulate moan. 
 
 It seemed an age before they reached solid ground ; 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 11? 
 
 and then, still in the woods and pestered with gnats 
 and mosquitoes, they sank down panting- on the trunk 
 of a fallen tree, not only soiled and bruised and their 
 faces and hands scratched and torn, but Miss Tillie had 
 been severely stung- over the eye by a hornet; and for 
 a long time she monopolized all the groaning 1 and re 
 pining, the mother, not daring to infringe on her 
 daughter's rights, nursing her own wounds in humble 
 silence. 
 
 "I can hear water running," she ventured at last. 
 "Less try and find it," she added timidly. "Bathing- 
 your eye in cold water will do it good ; and then p'rhaps 
 we can find some farmhouse where they can give you 
 something to take the sting out so we can go on." 
 Miss Tillie replying only by groans, the mother con 
 tinued for some time depicting the blessings of a res 
 pite from agony to be found in a little arnica or 
 camphor and the delights of a good substantial farm 
 house dinner. "It won't do no good to stay here 
 groaning and taking on," she said. 
 
 " Go ahead and don't have so much to say ! " snarled 
 Miss Tillie at last, rising and following 1 . 
 
 They soon reached a clear brook of water tumbling 
 down over rocks from the hill above and they both 
 bathed their wounds and their heated faces, but Miss 
 Tillie's ambition and spirit had received a severe 
 check. 
 
 "I'm sure I don't know what Fin going to do," she 
 whined, striving in vain to assuage the pain of the 
 sting with the cold water. " I don't see how I can go 
 on, my face is swelled so. I don't want the colonel to 
 see me till this lump goes down." 
 
 " I'm sure I don't see what we're go'n' to do," groaned 
 Mrs. Gipps, bathing her own wounds and the scratches 
 she had received in the bushes, all of which pained her 
 
118 COL. JUDSOJST OF ALABAMA. 
 
 severely, nor had her wrist and knee by any means 
 ceased to trouble her. " I don't see how we're ever 
 go'n' to get back without I can borrow something 1 of 
 the colonel. I thought," she continued artfully, " that 
 nothing would ever keep you from follering of the 
 colonel. When he's got that Jew woman with him, 
 how are you go'n' to know whether he'll ever think o' 
 you again ? And he such a fickle man! Out o' sight, 
 out o' mind. She's got the inside track. A little cam- 
 phire will take the sting all out of your face. After 
 coming this far I don't want to give up, if you do." 
 
 These remarks were not without effect upon Miss 
 Tillie. 
 
 "I guess I want to keep on as much as ever I did," 
 she groaned. " I guess I know the colonel's fickle, but 
 how can I ever stand it to have him see me with such 
 a lump over my eye ? I can feel it. Doesn't it look 
 awful?" 
 
 "Yes, it does, now/' replied the astute parent, too 
 wise to deny the sufferer the comfort she thus sought. 
 " But I tell you I know all about hornet stings. Just 
 as soon as you can get something to take the sting 
 out, the swelling will go down; and, anyhow, the colo 
 nel needn't see it. You can go to bed and I'll tell him 
 you're sick. Mebbe this is all for the best," she added. 
 " Who knows! Some men wouldn't like anything bet 
 ter 'n a chance to propose to a girl when she's sick 
 abed. I've read o' such things. I tell you, Tillie, you 
 don't know what's in store for you. I never want to 
 see you give up after I've spent all this money to get 
 you a rich husband." 
 
 " I ain't go'n' to give up," moaned Miss Tillie, her 
 hopes and ambitions reawakened by this picture of the 
 interesting turn her courtship might take. " I think, 
 myself," she added more hopefully, " that the colonel 
 
THE GIPPS FAMILY IN THE CATSKILLS. 119 
 
 is just that kind of man; " and she painfully joined her 
 mother in making her toilet as best she could; and 
 then they started up the hill. 
 
 At the top, to their great joy, they struck a well- 
 beaten path and soon came to a clearing where they 
 could look across a long, deep hollow; and directly 
 ahead of them, apparently less than half a mile, they 
 could see the red brick church which they had seen 
 earlier in the morning. 
 
 " Thank the Lord ! " cried Mrs. Gipps. " The colonel 
 can't be far off now : and I bet he'll propose to you 
 this very night ! " 
 
 " Hope so ! " plaintively returned Miss Tillie, as she 
 bravely struggled on, holding a wet handkerchief to 
 her eye. The more she thought about it, the less she 
 felt her wounds; and resuming her dreams and speech 
 by turns, she discoursed brokenly as they followed the 
 path through the woods. " Of course he'll take my 
 hand. It'll be lying on the pillow. If he does, I ain't 
 going to jerk it away. If he holds it as long as he did 
 that night after Dickel left, I know he'll propose. He 
 can't help it ! The colonel loves me ! If he shouldn't 
 propose, I believe I'd go raving crazy." 
 
 " And I believe I would, too," interposed the mother. 
 " After spending all this money, and me with only 
 seven dollars and a half to get back with! It would 
 be awful ! " 
 
 Miss Tillie paid no attention to these mercenary sen 
 timents. " He'll see my hand lying on the pillow," she 
 resumed, " and he'll feel bad to see me suffering so, and 
 he'll take it, and hold it, and talk, and talk, his way 
 about the Southern people and the war and dear me! 
 how scared I'll be for fear something'll happen, like it 
 did before, to keep him from coming to the point! 
 But I can't for the life o' me think what can happen 
 
120 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 now," she added hopefully. " I don't believe anything 
 will. I believe he'll propose this very night! If he 
 doesn't propose to me, I don't know but what it'll be 
 a good plan for me to propose to him ! He's a South 
 erner, and he can't say no to a woman ! " 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 121 
 
 CHAPTER VIL 
 
 THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS AT VAN TASSEL'S. 
 
 THE colonel, grandly unconscious that anything more 
 was required of him by the Gipps people than to pay 
 for his room promptly in advance and behave himself 
 like a gentleman and a Christian, never doubted but 
 that he was perfectly free to come and go as he 
 pleased; and recent occurrences fortunately render 
 ing his presence in the city no longer necessary till 
 September, on leaving Fire Island he proceeded to the 
 Gipps mansion to give up his room and remove his 
 baggage. 
 
 He found Miss Til lie's thoughtful little card on the 
 door-bell, found the keys at the drug-store on the cor 
 ner, found his trunk in his room where he left it, hired 
 an expressman to remove it, and returned the kej'S to 
 the drug-store with a note of explanation and farewell 
 to the Gippses; and never did he expect to behold them 
 more. This alias experience was too odious to remem 
 ber, and he was glad the chapter was ended forever, 
 and he was once more Colonel Judson of Alabama. 
 
 He started with his wife for the Catskills the same 
 day (his daughter having preceded them), and on 
 Tuesday afternoon, about five o'clock, he reached his 
 final destination Van Tassel's a breezy, elevated 
 summer boarding-house amidst fine groves, in the very 
 heart of the mountains, commanding a fine view in 
 every direction. 
 
 On a great semicircular sign over the picturesque 
 
122 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 gateway was the name, in great black letters, persever- 
 ingly touched up every year, " Pleasant View House/' 
 the product of the whole Van Tassel intellect and in 
 genuity, and a frightful waste of brain-power and 
 black paint, as nobody would ever call the house any 
 thing but " Van Tassel's," or, more discouraging yet, 
 " Dave's," as the country people had it, David being 
 the chief of the tribe. 
 
 One very beautiful blond young lady sat on the 
 front piazza in a red wicker rocking-chair; and one 
 extremely good-looking, tall, blond young man stood 
 leaning up against the nearest post looking down upon 
 the blond young lady. 
 
 " Oh ! I love it here at the North ! " the young lady 
 was saying. "But you can't think how strange it 
 seems to me to see white people waiting on the table 
 or sitting on the coachman's box ! " 
 
 Just then Mr. Stephen Hasbrouck's two-seated buck- 
 board, containing the colonel and Mrs. Judson wound 
 slowly up the steep ascent to the Pleasant View House, 
 and the j r oung lady eagerly arose, shaded her eyes with 
 her hand, and then exclaiming, excitedly, " Ma and pa 
 at last!" she darted down the path as if she had not 
 seen them for eight years, instead of eight days. 
 
 The buckboard stopped; and the young lady threw 
 her arms around the other lady's neck exclaiming: 
 
 "You darling, darling mamma! I've been watch 
 ing for you all day! You darling papa! What did 
 you mean by not coming last night? It's splendid 
 here, ma, so cool ! Takes four blankets to keep you 
 warm every night, and I haven't seen a single mos 
 quito yet, and no sign of my chills ! I believe I'm cured 
 already; and I'm sure it will do you more good here, 
 ma, than at the seashore." And thus ecstatically talk 
 ing, she led the way up-stairs. 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 123 
 
 " Who was that gentleman talking with you on the 
 piazza, dear ? " inquired the colonel as the young lady 
 began speaking of the "lovely people" she had met. 
 
 " O pa ! " burst forth the young lady, " there are 
 such distinguished people staying here ! That was the 
 Hon. Warner N. Esterbrook you've heard of him, 
 haven't you, pa ? He's a member of the legislature 
 of this State, pa ! He's a senator! " 
 
 " Ah ! indeed ! A Republican, I suppose ? " asked 
 the colonel, rather uneasily. 
 
 " A Republican, pa ? Mr. Esterbrook a Republican ? 
 Why, pa, I couldn't imagine such a thing ! I have never 
 heard him say what he was; but he's a thoroughbred 
 gentleman, refined and polished; he has traveled in 
 Europe, too, and he is very sensible and witty." 
 
 "But, my dear Eva," replied the colonel, "you can't 
 infer from this that a man here at the North is not a 
 Republican. They are not all like the Republicans we 
 have in the South." 
 
 " Well, pa, I'm sure I can't think he's a Eepublican. 
 He seems to like Southern people very much; he has 
 two lovely sisters, and his mother O pa, she's the 
 loveliest woman I ever saw ! " 
 
 " Well, my dear, I am very glad you have met such 
 pleasant people." 
 
 The colonel and his wife, being ready to go down 
 stairs before the bell rang for supper, Miss Eva cha 
 peroned them around the house. 
 
 Mrs. Judson, being amiably predetermined to like 
 everything she saw at the North, however abominable 
 it might be, pronounced the situation of the house 
 " just perfect," and even condoned the grave architec 
 tural error of placing the pig-sty a one-story exten 
 sion of the ell at the south end of the building, where 
 it not only commanded the virgin breezes, but also the 
 
124 COL. JUDSOIST OF ALABAMA. 
 
 finest views, according to the testimony of several en 
 terprising small boys sitting astride the ridgepole at 
 the moment. 
 
 The bell rang for supper while they were walking on 
 the lawn; and by the time they reached the house, 
 which a moment before seemed almost uninhabited, 
 the dining-room was swarming with the boarders. 
 There were about sixty or seventy of them, the ma 
 jority being ladies, children, beardless young men and 
 old gentlemen. There were three long tables standing 
 parallel with each other, and a round table at one end 
 of the room, at which was seated a large family of very 
 evidently wealthy Jews, looking with gaze inimical at 
 the surrounding Caucasians, whom they credited with 
 naught but sentiments of hostility toward themselves. 
 
 " This is our table ! " cried Miss Eva, blithely, leading 
 the way to the central board, her bright young face 
 beaming with happiness as her gaze fell upon her 
 nearest neighbors; and she joyfully presented her 
 father and mother to the lovely Mrs. Esterbrook, the 
 two lovely Misses Esterbrook, and to the witty and 
 sensible Hon. Warner N. Esterbrook. 
 
 Mrs. Judson and Mrs. Esterbrook immediately fell 
 to talking about the lovely pure mountain air; and 
 Mrs. Judson explained about her chills, which she had 
 come North to cure; while Miss Eva began to talk 
 to the Misses Esterbrook about a new novel which 
 the latter had loaned her to read that morning. 
 The colonel and the Hon. Warner N. Esterbrook went 
 skirmishing around on the borders of politics; and, 
 alas ! in less than ten minutes thereafter, the unhappy 
 Southerner had found out that the good-looking, tall 
 young man, who could make his only daughter's eyes 
 beam with delight and send the bright color all over 
 her face, was a Republican, sure enough! 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 125 
 
 But he was a very tolerant young man and very 
 intelligent and conscientious. He made a very lauda 
 ble effort to be modest, too, and to wear his laurels 
 and public dignities and responsibilities without any 
 unseemly display; but he couldn't help talking about 
 "my constituents " and about "my bill" (he had a bill 
 before the Senate for the improvement of tenement 
 houses). He was filled to overflowing with the mag 
 nitude of his public duties and of the grave responsi 
 bilities resting upon his shoulders, was keenly alive to 
 the weight of his power and influence and example 
 as a public man, and every time he heard of anything 
 that was going wrong in the world or of any evil or 
 injustice, he would exclaim: "I think it is a perfect 
 shame ! I am going to see what I can do about that 
 at Albany this winter." If he could only have secured 
 all the legislation he dreamed of, he would have in 
 augurated the millennium in the State of New York 
 forthwith. 
 
 It also leaked out in about a minute, despite his 
 modest reserve, that he was a graduate of Williams 
 College; that he was the valedictorian of his class, and 
 that he took the first prize for original Latin thesis. 
 
 Concerning his brief public career hitherto, he made 
 no attempt to conceal the fact that he was far from 
 satisfied with himself, and that he was humbly con 
 scious of having proven a very human, fallible, frail 
 young man. He confessed, with chagrin and contri 
 tion, that more than once, despite his earnest desire 
 and his numerous resolutions to do right, he had voted 
 for bills dead against his convictions, because he had 
 been importuned to do so by their friends and bene 
 ficiaries and found it impossible to resist their bland 
 ishments. 
 
 " Now there was a bill," he exclaimed with righteous 
 
126 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 indignation, "that we all voted for to give the public 
 money to some philanthropists who wanted to experi 
 ment on a reformatory for women. I had no faith at 
 all in that scheme, and none of us had; but the bill 
 was pressed by Mrs. Brinkhurst, one of the sweetest 
 women I ever saw with hair as white as my mother's. 
 The bill never would have gone through but for her. 
 To be sure it was a noble object; but what right had 
 we to be voting away the people's money for an experi 
 ment we didn't believe in ? For my part, when I think 
 of it, I am ashamed of myself! But it's pretty hard 
 work," he added leniently, " to do right all the time/' 
 
 He went into public life, he said, perfectly deter 
 mined to do his share toward weeding out corruptions 
 and abuses; and yet what did he do, the first time the 
 temptation and opportunity were presented, but get a 
 college chum of his, who had suddenly come to pov 
 erty, put into a sinecure a perfect sinecure where he 
 drew three dollars a day from the State treasury, and 
 had absolutely nothing to do but to go around Avith his 
 hands in his pockets. 
 
 " I'm too obliging," he added. " That's my beset 
 ting sin." 
 
 But notwithstanding the readiness with which he 
 made these admissions and assertions in private con 
 versation, he was extremely solicitous that none of his 
 ill-considered remarks and extemporaneous speeches 
 should ever get into the papers; as for writing letters, 
 litera scripta manet ! He had never touched pen to 
 paper since he entered the Senate without considering 
 how it would look in print next morning. 
 
 To the colonel he became exceedingly confidential, 
 more than once murmuring his undertone convictions 
 that the Southerner was right; and several times he 
 back-bit his own party under his breath, 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 127 
 
 " Still," he said, " it is a grand old party." 
 
 The colonel felt some hesitancy about abusing the 
 young senator's party to his face; but in view of what 
 the gentleman himself had admitted, he ventured to 
 ask on what grounds the Republican party could be 
 called "a grand old partj^." 
 
 " It saved the Union, for the first item ! " patriotically 
 cried the young man. 
 
 " I think there were Democrats in the Northern 
 armj 7 /' returned the colonel ; " and Northern Demo 
 crats united with Republicans in furnishing money to 
 carry on the war and in upholding the government in 
 its measures for the conquest of the South ; " a reply 
 'which, though made with perfect courtesy, so over 
 threw the young senator's mind that he quite forgot 
 the other items he designed enumerating; and the 
 colonel proceeded : 
 
 "A party that has been guilty of so many grave 
 political blunders and of such utterly indefensible acts 
 of injustice has no right, in my humble judgment, to 
 any claim of grandeur except the grandeur of suc 
 cessfully holding on to power for twenty years." 
 
 As the colonel began speaking, the fires of partisan 
 zeal blazed higher and higher in the young man's 
 soul, but he politely heard the Southerner through, 
 intending to make an eloquent reply in defense of the 
 party that had sent him to Albanj 7 ; but as the speaker 
 ceased, the senator's premeditated eloquence failed 
 him ; an emotional spasm of partisan allegiance alone 
 filled his breast; he could have given three cheers for 
 his party with fervor and energy; but as this, in the 
 present chaotic state of his intellectual forces, was not 
 reducible to rational and dignified oratory, he merely 
 murmured : 
 
 "Yes; the Republican party has been at the helm a 
 long time." 
 
128 COL. JUBSOJST OF ALABAMA. 
 
 While the colonel and young 1 Esterbrook were talk 
 ing, his mother, although engaged in conversation 
 with Mrs. Judson, cast many a proud glance across 
 the table at her son, whose letters now came with 
 " Honorable " before his name proud to see how high- 
 minded and conscientious he was amidst the cor 
 rupt and venal, how keenly alive to public wants and 
 needs amidst the heartless, conscienceless, and unfeel 
 ing. 
 
 She was a large, noble- looking lady with snow-white 
 hair, jet-black heavy eyebrows, and large black eyes, 
 and with that wonderful dignity and composure that 
 comes more from perfect rectitude and a heart at 
 peace with God and man than from any conscious 
 greatness, superiority of intellect, or grandeur of 
 achievement. 
 
 " How difficult it is," she said to Mrs. Judson, " for 
 mothers to realize that their children have grown up 
 and have become responsible men and women! It 
 seems but a few days ago that my son was wearing 
 knickerbockers and was scarcely to be trusted out of 
 my sight; and now he is a voter and a lawmaker!" 
 
 Finding Mrs. Judson, who was filled with similar 
 thoughts concerning her daughter, a sympathetic and 
 appreciative listener, the proud mother began indulg 
 ing in fond reminiscences of her son's prodigious in 
 fancy and childhood, which, reaching the ears of the 
 hero across the table, he cried out gayly : 
 
 "Now mother's going to tell some hatchet stories 
 about me! " though he appeared not to be in the least 
 averse to the narration. 
 
 "I remember," proceeded Mrs. Esterbrook, "when 
 my son was about six years of age he had a nurse who 
 was a very strict Methodist. On Sunday she not only 
 took away all his toys and secular story and picture 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 129 
 
 books, but she told him he must not even think about 
 them, that he must not think 'every-day thoughts' 
 at all on Sunday he must think only about what the 
 minister said at church, about his Sabbath-school les 
 son, and about the angels and going to Heaven. She 
 had made a powerful impression on his mind, and he 
 stood in great fear of the lake that burns with fire and 
 brimstone. One Sunday night about eleven o'clock, 
 just as I was about retiring, I heard some one going 
 into the sitting-room, where I had just turned out the 
 gas. I stepped back into the hall and saw that child, 
 in his night-dress and slippers, with a lighted caudle 
 in his hand, go into the room and hold the candle up 
 before the clock. Then I made my appearance and 
 asked what he was doing. He looked at me with the 
 gravest expression and said : ' Mamma, I woke up and 
 I wanted to know if it was Monday morning yet, so I 
 could think my every-day thoughts/'' 
 
 Another reminiscence illustrated the honorable sen 
 ator's philanthropic disposition and foreshadowed those 
 tendencies that gave rise to the tenement-house bill. 
 
 " I remember," pursued the fond mother, "when my 
 son was about seven years old there was a very poor 
 widow living a short distance from the house where 
 we were spending the summer in the country. My 
 son had visited her house frequently, and had seen the 
 poor woman pounding up roasted peas in a mortar to 
 mix with her coffee. It seems he was very much dis 
 tressed in his mind because the pounding of the peas 
 involved so much labor. I remember his talking with 
 me about it and saying he wished he could think of 
 some way to make the peas grind more easily. The 
 next morning I found him in the kitchen gravely 
 watching a tin dish on the back of the stove; and he 
 told me he had thought of a way to make that poor 
 9 
 
130 COL. JUDSON OP ALABAMA. 
 
 woman's peas grind easily. He was soaking 1 some 
 peas for her in the dish ! " 
 
 "I remember something that occurred that same 
 summer/' cried young Esterbrook, ironically, " which 
 illustrates the other side of my character. That poor 
 woman who put peas in her coffee had a small boy 
 about my own size. This youngster had constructed 
 a see-saw, or teeter as he called it, in his mother's 
 dooryard. It consisted of a long plank laid across a 
 saw-horse. One day, on his invitation to sample its 
 delights, I took a seat on one end and he on the other. 
 He went up first, and, as I saw him dangling high up 
 in the air above me, I thought it must be fine fun. 
 But no sooner was I aloft myself than I was terror- 
 stricken at my elevation, and I privately made up my 
 mind if I ever lived to get down I wouldn't go up 
 again. So, when I reached the ground and the other 
 boy was in the air, I just quietly slipped off without a 
 word of warning, and down he came with a tremen 
 dous thud. The board rebounded and struck him on 
 the head before he could rise; and as for me I benev 
 olently took to my heels ! I was expecting to be in 
 vited to his funeral, when he came over to see me with 
 several strips of black court-plaster on his face and a 
 bandage smelling of arnica on his wrist. He shook 
 his fist at me and told me next time he played with me 
 I'd know it." 
 
 "You were not often so regardless of your play 
 mates, I am sure," remarked Mrs. Esterbrook. " I can 
 recall many acts of unexampled generosity on your 
 part." 
 
 " Oh, so can I," asserted the young man, laughingly, 
 taking up the recital himself. " I recall one incident 
 of stupendous generosity on my part. I had heard of 
 Aladdin's lamp, and I had been to the grocery store 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 131 
 
 with one of the servants; and, to my wonder and ad 
 miration, I had observed that by merely presenting a 
 small blank book to the clerk she could get anything 
 she called for. I thought it was a talisman by which 
 all one's wants could be supplied without involving any 
 further responsibility. So, one day when my mother 
 was ill and time hung heavily on my hands, I got 
 possession of that same talisman myself and went to 
 the grocery store, with rag- tag and bob-tail at my 
 heels, and called for figs, dates, oranges, and bananas. 
 I remember very well how free-handed and liberal I 
 was on that occasion. I gave the other boys as much 
 as they could carry off, and treated myself the same 
 way; and this performance I repeated till the next bill 
 was sent in." 
 
 "It shows what an observing child it was, at all 
 events," said his mother. "His father always told 
 him to ' observe what he took notice of; and I think 
 he did. I remember one day when he returned from 
 the Methodist church with his nurse, she complained 
 of the length of the sermon, when Warner cried out : 
 ' Didn't you hear the minister say, when he read the 
 hymn, that it was going to be a long meeting ? ' It 
 appears the minister, who, I am afraid, was not much 
 of a scholar, was in the habit of reading the words 
 ' long metre ' or ' short metre ' standing at the begin 
 ning of the hymn; and the child had always under 
 stood it as 'long or short meeting/" 
 
 " That was very observing in me ! " interposed the 
 hero, with mild sarcasm. " Now you've told stories 
 enough about me, mother. It's time to turn the tables. 
 I remember when my mother was about two years 
 old I have heard my dear old grandma tell this," he 
 interjected laughingly, as he observed the surprised 
 looks of his auditors, "she was sent to close a door 
 
132 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 opening into a dark room. An elder sister had already 
 declined the mission on the ground that she was afraid 
 of the dark. But 1113' mother immediately toddled off, 
 saying, ' Naughty dirls 'faid de dark, dood dirls ain't/ 
 They claimed that to be entirely out of her own head; 
 but I can't vouch for that. Still, I can give my mother 
 a good recommendation for possessing a fine mind. 
 I've heard her talk a good deal." 
 
 By the time supper was over the Esterbrooks and 
 the Judsons appeared to be fast friends; and the colo 
 nel and Mrs. Jndson delighted their daughter by pro 
 nouncing them very pleasant people. 
 
 There was to be a german that evening at the Breeze 
 Lawn House, three or four miles distant, and the 
 boarders at Van Tassel's had been invited. The Ester- 
 brook sisters wanted to go and had joined with their 
 brother in asking Eva Judson to accompany them; 
 but that young lady had, in duty bound, deferred her 
 answer till the arrival of her father and mother. 
 
 The german was uppermost in the young people's 
 minds all during the supper, although nothing was said 
 about it; and it was uppermost in Miss Eva's mind 
 when she left her father and mother in the parlor and 
 went out upon the piazza alone to investigate herself 
 and understand, if possible, why she wanted to go at 
 all and leave her " pa " and " ma " so soon after their 
 arrival, or why, if she did want to go, she was so 
 ashamed to speak to them about it. 
 
 Presently she heard a footstep, and, looking around, 
 she saw the Hon. Warner N. Esterbrook approaching. 
 
 " Have you told your father and mother about the 
 german ? " he asked. 
 
 "No, I have not yet," replied the young lady, look 
 ing up with a droll expression. "I hate to! I wish 
 somebody else would tell them! I would like to go as 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 133 
 
 long as your sisters are going, but I think I ought to 
 stay with ma after we've been apart so long and she 
 onty just come this evening." 
 
 " Why, it was only eight days," urged the young 
 man. "A german doesn't happen every night. I am 
 sure if you ask them they will have no objection to 
 your going. I think it is going to be a capital affair." 
 
 " I do want to go," murmured the young lady, wist 
 fully. "But I hate to tell ma and pa. I do wish 
 somebody else would ! " 
 
 "If you will nominate me for that office, I shall ac 
 cept it with the greatest pleasure; and like all office 
 holders, I shall never resign." 
 
 " I am sure I shall be glad to have you do it," replied 
 the young lady, blushing. 
 
 " You make me happy ! " cried young Esterbrook 
 seizing her hand and looking down into her face with 
 great earnestness. " I will go and speak to your father 
 at once." 
 
 What an era, what a momentous epoch, was this in 
 Miss Eva's life ! How her heart beat, how her cheeks 
 burned, as she saw the young man, through the open 
 window, stride up so bravely to her father and take 
 him aside ! and how strange she felt when she saw her 
 father's polite attention and his grave, courtly bows 
 as the young man addressed him! She felt then as if 
 she could never look open-eyed into her father's face 
 again. 
 
 Presently the young man, with a triumphant air 
 and heightened color, rejoined her. 
 
 "Victorious!" he cried, boyishly waving his hat in 
 the air. "Your father consents! You don't know 
 how delighted I am," he added in lower tones, grasp 
 ing her hand. " This is going to be the grandest ger 
 man I ever went to. I know I never had such anticipa- 
 
134 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 tions of a thoroughly enjoyable evening before in my 
 life!" 
 
 " I think it will be lovely, too, it is so cool to-night," 
 murmured Miss Eva, trying to look unconscious. " I 
 love to dance when it's so cool and the air is so brac 
 ing." 
 
 "And the drive will be lovety, too," added Ester- 
 brook. " Oh, we're going to have a heavenly time ! 
 The moon is full to-night; and it will be moonlight 
 going and returning," 
 
 As the young man talked the young lady stood 
 looking as if she had something of importance on her 
 mind. 
 
 " Mr. Esterbrook," she began solemnly, " I want to 
 ask you a question." 
 
 "Ten thousand if you will!" replied Esterbrook, 
 looking as if he felt highly flattered. 
 
 " I want to know," asked the young lady, earnestly, 
 " whether you are a Democrat or a Republican." She 
 looked up eagerly into his face, searching his features 
 in advance for the repty. 
 
 Esterbrook colored to the roots of his hair. 
 
 " I was sent to Albany by the Republican party," he 
 replied in deprecating tones. 
 
 " By the Republicans ! " cried Miss Eva, in accents of 
 undisguised disappointment and regret. " I never once 
 dreamed of such a thing ! " Her voice quivered and 
 the tears seemed ready to start into her eyes. 
 
 Esterbrook felt like apostatizing on the spot. 
 
 "My father was a Republican," he replied, trying to 
 offer some extenuation of his crime, and, in short, to 
 throw the blame upon some one else. " It was very 
 natural that I should adopt his tenets. But the Re 
 publican party is not what it was in my father's day. 
 I am thoroughly disgusted with it, I assure you. I 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 135 
 
 don't know but that I shall bolt before long if things 
 don't change." 
 
 " Bolt ? " repeated the young girl, wonderingly. 
 
 " I beg pardon ! Go over to the Democrats. (What 
 a howl there would be !) I implore you not to men 
 tion a word of this! I wouldn't have it get into the 
 papers for the world ! " 
 
 " Oh, I shall be discreet. Only, you will not object 
 to my speaking of it to pa ? " 
 
 Esterbrook colored again. 
 
 " I " he began and then pondered a moment. " I 
 
 think," he continued slowly, " that perhaps it would be 
 premature and ill-advised for a man in my position. 
 You understand. My mind is not fully made up. I 
 would prefer not to commit myself at present." 
 
 Miss Eva understood, from Esterbrook's rather dis 
 jointed speech, that the matter for the present was to 
 be a secret between them; and, much as she longed to 
 vindicate him to her father, she felt that she was not 
 free to do so. But her own heart was satisfied as to 
 his politics. She was confident his inward delibera 
 tions would have only a just and virtuous result, and 
 that, in short, sooner or later, he was certain to " bolt." 
 
 She went to her room to dress for the dance; but 
 her head was so turned she hardty knew what she was 
 doing. In a few minutes her mother came in, and sud 
 denly her thoughts took a different turn. Throwing 
 her arms around her mother's neck, she exclaimed : 
 
 "Ma, O ma! you think I'm selfish to go off and 
 leave you alone when we've been apart so long and 
 you only just come." 
 
 "No, my darling, I do not! I do not!" cried the 
 mother, embracing her daughter tenderly. " I want 
 you to go and enjoy yourself." But she held her child 
 to her heart to conceal the tears that had sprung to 
 
COL. JUDSOtf OF ALABAMA. 
 
 her eyes; for, in spite of all philosophy, she felt a 
 sharp pang as she realized, for the first time, that her 
 daughter was slipping away from her. 
 
 " O ma, I will stay at home with you ! " cried the 
 young girl with heroic resolution. " I will, ma; I had 
 rather !" 
 
 " No, my child," returned the mother, firmly, " you 
 have promised to go. The selfishness would be on my 
 side if I kept you from the pleasures to which you have 
 a right. Your father will he with me. I want you to 
 go. I have come to help you dress/' 
 
 " Well, ma, you are the loveliest mother any girl ever 
 had ! I do want to go, of course," and this time she felt 
 superior to saying it was because the Esterbrook girls 
 were going. " But I felt," she added, " as if it would 
 mar all the pleasure to think that you would miss me 
 and feel that I didn't love you." 
 
 "I shall miss my daughter," replied the mother. 
 " But I shall be happy in the thought that you are 
 enjoying yourself; and I am satisfied you will be well 
 taken care of." 
 
 "Yes, ma," returned the young girl with proud dig 
 nity. "I am so glad," she added, "that you and pa 
 like the Esterbrooks ! I like them so much ! " 
 
 "Yes, dear, they are really very fine people. I am 
 glad we have met them. Those two young ladies are 
 very beautiful." 
 
 "Very," affirmed the daughter, with deep satisfac 
 tion. 
 
 " And Mrs. Esterbrook is a delightful woman, highly 
 cultivated and polished." 
 
 " Yes, ma," responded the daughter, eagerly await 
 ing the rest. 
 
 "And Mr. Esterbrook," added the mother, feeling 
 that it was not right to stop there, " is certainly a 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 137 
 
 gentleman and a very interesting- talker; your pa 
 thinks so, too," but she refrained, for the present, from 
 alluding to the gravity with which the colonel had 
 answered "yes" to her anxious inquiry, as they left 
 the table, " Is he a Republican ? " 
 
 Before eight o'clock the front piazza was crowded 
 with the young people dressed for the dance and full 
 of spirits, awaiting the carriages and stages for the 
 Breeze Lawn House. The Esterbrook sisters were 
 there with their distinguished brother, both of them 
 dressed in white. Like their brother, the sisters were 
 blondes; and both, as they had been pronounced by 
 Mrs. Judson and Eva, were very beautiful, with deli 
 cate, regular features and perfect complexions, and 
 looking so much alike it was difficult to distinguish 
 one from the other, and quite impossible to discover 
 which was the elder. In a few minutes, Eva Judson, 
 also in white, came down with her mother and joined 
 them, and the beautiful group was complete. 
 
 The buckboards and stages were soon ready; there 
 was a sudden ebullition of excitement and noise, a 
 great many exclamations, then one after the other 
 they drove off, and the Pleasant View House was left 
 in comparative quiet. 
 
 The colonel, understanding the sadness that op 
 pressed the heart of his wife, drew her hand through 
 his arm, and in silence they promenaded the now al 
 most deserted piazza, where about half a dozen of the 
 boarders, shivering in thick zephyr shawls, were try 
 ing, in spite of the cold, to enjoy the moonlight on the 
 mountains; but one by one they succumbed and went 
 inside; and their example was soon followed by the 
 colonel and Mrs. Judson. 
 
 In the parlor half a dozen people were trying to ruin 
 their eyesight reading cheap, badly printed novels 
 
138 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 (they always had the best quality of everything but 
 books) by the dim light of kerosene lamps hung in 
 brackets on the wall, the general verdict of the readers 
 being that the chimneys had not been cleaned since 
 last summer, nor the wicks cut for two years. A 
 group of ladies and gentlemen surrounded the piano, 
 one of the ladies playing an accompaniment, the others 
 singing. Others were playing cards. There was also 
 a chess-playing couple with an interested group around 
 them; but the majority of the people were drearily 
 talking and gaping with one notable exception. 
 
 In a large open stove a wood fire was blazing com 
 fortably; and around this were seated several persons 
 engaged in animated conversation. 
 
 The central personage in this group was a diminutive 
 being with a consequential, dogmatic air, a leonine 
 countenance, great masses of iron-gray hair rolling 
 back from his forehead, a long bushy mustache, big, 
 bulging black eyes, heavy semicircular eyebrows, 
 hands covered all over the backs with long black hair, 
 and a rumpled shirt and soiled white vest. 
 
 The colonel had no difficulty in recognizing the 
 Yankee schoolmaster who had lived in the South 
 " quite a spell." But Mr. Dickel only began to talk the 
 louder and the more grandiloquently at the colonel's 
 approach; otherwise he seemed unconscious of the 
 Southerner's presence. He had, however, seen that 
 individual enter the dining-room at supper time, and, 
 recognizing his adversary of the Gipps mansion, had 
 been spoiling for a fight ever since; but he believed 
 his dignity required that he should be sought out and 
 recognized first. 
 
 The colonel, perceiving that Mr. Dickel was engrossed 
 in a fierce religious controversy with a tall woman in 
 a black gown, and taking it for granted that his pres- 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 
 
 ent elevation of mind prevented his observing what 
 was going- on ground him, refrained from interrupting 
 him and gave his attention to the party at the piano. 
 
 But he was not to escape. 
 
 Mr. Dickel was fond of disputation, and when he 
 disputed he wanted an antagonist worthy of his bril 
 liant powers. Moreover, after he left the Gipps man 
 sion on the occasion of his previous memorable conflict 
 with that gentleman, he went to his room and sat 
 down and thought the whole contest over; and he 
 could see, on reflection, how many brilliant things he 
 had forgotten to say, and how many hard digs he 
 might have given the Southerner if they had only oc 
 curred to him in time. He had called at the Gippses' 
 twice afterward, hoping to renew the fight, but both 
 times the colonel was out. Here, now, was his oppor 
 tunity and he meant to make the Southerner smart 
 for it. 
 
 The colonel and his wife, however, being fatigued 
 with their long journey up the mountains in back- 
 breaking vehicles, and with their minds preoccupied 
 with thoughts concerning their only daughter, early 
 withdrew to their room; and Dickel was forced to 
 give over the inauguration of his contemplated war 
 fare till the next day. 
 
 But he took occasion, after the colonel and Mrs. Jud- 
 son had retired, to admit the other boarders into the 
 secret of that gentleman's history, and to let them 
 know what a rampant rebel he still was, how he still 
 revered Jeff Davis, believed in slavery, State Rights, 
 and secession, and in wolloping the niggers, and traf 
 ficking in human flesh and blood ; and how he wanted 
 to remand the niggers all back into slavery again or 
 else wanted Congress to ^pay the ex-slaveholders for 
 all the slaves emancipated. 
 
140 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 The others were highly excited over this inflamma 
 tory account of the new boarder, and, when the colonel 
 appeared at the breakfast table the next morning 1 , he 
 was the object of universal attention. 
 
 Mr. Dickel, in order to promote his premeditated 
 hostilities, had petitioned for a seat at the colonel's 
 table, and had succeeded in obtaining a place next to 
 the Hon. Warner N. Esterbrook, to whom he naturally 
 looked for succor and support in the forthcoming 
 struggle. 
 
 But the colonel wouldn't fight, and Mr. Dickel began 
 to feel very foolish throwing stones without cause or 
 provocation. But he was bent on quarreling, and, if 
 he couldn't quarrel with the colonel, he was deter 
 mined to quarrel at him; and thus he managed to ren 
 der it extremely uncomfortable for the Southerner at 
 Van Tassel's, in doing which he received no little as 
 sistance from many of the other boarders, for they 
 were not all distinguished and refined, by any means. 
 There seems to exist a very queer, subtle relation, 
 somehow or other, between money and gentility. The 
 Van Tassels charged enough for board that is, they 
 charged all it was worth but it was not enough to 
 make all the boarders as polished and high-toned as 
 people always become as soon as they acquire riches; 
 and thus it was that so many of them joined with 
 Mr. Dickel and picked upon the Southerner so unmer 
 cifully. 
 
 When the ex-schoolmaster found the colonel always 
 endeavoring, in public at least, to avoid politics and 
 to change the vexed subject, then he would raise his 
 voice and address himself to the people on the other 
 side of the table. 
 
 It happened that directly opposite sat a middle-aged 
 lady with a flat chest, very large, bony, red hands, and 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 141 
 
 a virtuous, Rhadamanthine aspect. This lady, whose 
 name was Miss McLane, said very spitefully that she 
 knew a good deal. She had been down South herself. 
 She saw slavery in actual operation; and she took 
 turns with Mr. Dickel in testifying 1 to Southern enormi 
 ties, and talked as if it used to be an every-day thing 
 for slaveholders to hang 1 slaves up by the thumbs and 
 beat them to death; and she seemed to believe that 
 picking cotton was like plucking pig iron off of bushes 
 and carrying it around in baskets all day long in the 
 burning hot sun. 
 
 Next to Miss McLane sat a very aged couple by the 
 name of Wiswell. These old people were so feeble 
 and withered and tremulous, they seemed past and 
 gone out of the century, and looked like a couple of 
 anachronisms sitting before dinner plates. This aged 
 pair who were very deaf, had overheard a portion of 
 Mr. Dickel's remarks and a large part of Miss Mc- 
 Lane's; and looking with mingled triumph and disap 
 probation at the colonel, they took turns in crying out 
 in shrill feeble voices : 
 
 " Slavery's abolished ! Slavery's abolished ! " 
 
 "Yes, the poor darkies are free now, praise the 
 Lord ! " cried Miss McLane, looking vindictively at the 
 ex-slaveholder. 
 
 " Yes," chimed in Dickel, " and the Southern people 
 have got to knuckle down to work like we do here at 
 the North." 
 
 "Yes, the good Lord never meant that anybody 
 should shirk labor," cried Miss McLane, whose red 
 hands were evidence enough that she practised what 
 she preached. " ' By the sweat of thy brow shalt thou 
 earn thy bread ' was the edict of the Most High. But 
 the Southern people always despised work." 
 
 " Yes, you Southern people always looked down upon 
 
142 COL. JUDSON" OF ALABAMA. 
 
 work," shouted Dickel, turning- again to the colonel, 
 " and that's why you folks down there are suffering 
 now the way you are. You tried to escape the curse 
 of Adam; but you made a miss of it." 
 
 " Yes," cried another woman, " the Southern people 
 always thought we, here in the North, were plebeian 
 laborers." 
 
 " We licked you, anyhow ! " cried a little man further 
 down the table, shaking his knife playfully at the col 
 onel. " Yes, sir; we licked you, and don't you forget 
 it!" 
 
 "Yes," chimed in Dickel again, "it took bayonets 
 and powder and balls to convince you folks of the 
 error of your ways. We had to lick common-sense 
 into you." 
 
 "I expect you've got a lot of Confederate money 
 saved up," cried another man. " I hear you're buying 
 and selling that stuff down there. You're looking for 
 ward to another war, I guess." 
 
 " Then we'll lick you again ! " cried the knife-shaker, 
 whose name was Doan. 
 
 " This is a nice way to conciliate the Southern peo 
 ple," interposed another gentleman, " talking to them 
 this way when they come North ! " 
 
 "Oh, my! I think it belongs to the Southern people 
 to conciliate us," cried Mr. Doan, "after getting up a 
 war and killing off a lot of our fathers and sons and 
 brothers, and leaving us a lot of one-armed and one- 
 legged men to grind hand-organs on the pavements! 
 Let the Southern people concilitate us, I say ! " 
 
 "I should say so! I should say so!" cried Dickel, 
 delightedly. " You are right, Mr. Doan. I don't think 
 the Southern people have any just claims on the North 
 for sugar-teats and taffy." 
 
 At this point a lady who had been trying to find an 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOAEDERS. 143 
 
 opportunity to speak all during the conversation, 
 began, in an emotional voice, and with eyes and nose 
 in which the color came and went, to relate a story 
 about the terrible cruelties and hardships put upon a 
 poor slave in a novel she once read, winding up with 
 the declaration that the story was very "life-like," 
 and that she was confident it was a true picture of the 
 old slave days. This rather irrelevant interruption 
 served the purpose of reminding Dickel of something. 
 
 " You were saying the other day, Colonel," he began, 
 " when I was talking with you in the city, that slaves 
 knew no hard times. Now, how about hoe-cake, Colo 
 nel ? Wouldn't you think you had fallen on mighty 
 hard times if you had to eat hoe-cake for breakfast, 
 dinner, and supper ? " 
 
 " By no means," replied the colonel. " I regard hoe- 
 cake as an excellent article of food, nutritious, whole 
 some, and exceedingly palatable." 
 
 "Well, I wouldn't give it to my pig!" cried Dickel, 
 contemptuously. 
 
 " The Southern people," replied the colonel, ignoring 
 Dickel's last vulgar remark, ". are extremely fond of 
 corn-bread in an} 7 form, and the colored people always 
 prefer it to wheat, declaring it more substantial. In 
 all Southern households corn-bread is made three times 
 a daj r and is eaten by all classes in preference to any 
 other." 
 
 " Well, then, let it pass that hoe-cake is a delicacy," 
 sneered Dickel. " But how about working in the cot 
 ton fields all day long in the blazing hot sun ? Didn't 
 the poor darky feel hard times then ? " 
 
 " The negroes were poor people," replied the colonel. 
 " They were obliged to work for their daily bread. 
 You don't feed and clothe and shelter them here at 
 the North without requiring an equivalent in labor. 
 
144 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 The negroes brought no fortunes with them from 
 Africa." 
 
 " Poor souls ! " cried Miss McLane, " I guess they 
 didn't get much sympathy from their masters. I saw 
 what slavery was, too/' she added, addressing Dickel. 
 "Slavery was a wicked, wicked thing! It's a fact, the 
 slaveholders used to whip their slaves till the "blood 
 ran down their backs! " 
 
 "Madam/' said the colonel, "can you name by name 
 any one slave-owner who, to your own knowledge, did 
 that?" 
 
 "I can! I can!" excitedly retorted Miss McLane; 
 but as she didn't do it, the fair-minded were left to 
 their own inferences. Striving, however, to make up 
 in ferocity for her inability to give the particulars, she 
 cried out vehemently : " I positively know, of my own 
 knowledge, that it was done all the time, though the 
 Southern people always deny it, and I should think 
 they would ! " 
 
 " Yes, I should think so, too," cried Mr. Doan. " You 
 Southern people," he added, addressing the colonel, 
 "you won't own up now how you used to larrup your 
 niggers in the old slave days. The stories that have 
 been told under that head can't be all false. Where 
 there's so much smoke there must be some fire." 
 
 Before long there were others who joined in these 
 
 /" attacks on the peaceable Southerner. Nothing very 
 
 / new, and certainly nothing original, was said. The 
 
 aged Wiswells never failed to proclaim, two or three 
 
 times apiece, that slavery was abolished. Somebody 
 
 was sure to remind the colonel that the South got 
 
 licked, that Jeff Davis ought to have been " hung," 
 
 that the war was an awful wicked thing, and that the 
 
 Union had been saved. Dickel went over his staple 
 
 arguments continually, and nearly everybody had a 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 145 
 
 word to say. But there were a few who were silent 
 some because experience had convinced them that if 
 they wanted to get enough to eat at the Van Tassels' 
 table they must begin at once and eat diligently to the 
 end. Others were silent from a fine sense of commer 
 cial discretion and the fear of making enemies; and 
 others, again, because they had money they kept a 
 bank account and owned real estate; they occupied 
 the Van Tassels' best rooms, and were above joining 
 in a promiscuous conversation in a boarding-house. 
 Those who talked the loudest and had the most to 
 say occupied the smallest rooms on the' top floor. 
 There were still others who were silent because they 
 were your amiable people who never take sides. They 
 are always neutral. They imagine their neutrality is 
 religion pure and undefiled, instead of simply pure 
 selfishness. They are neutral because they care for 
 nobody and nothing but themselves. 
 
 As for the Esterbrooks, they assured the colonel 
 that the animosity and virulence manifested by so 
 many of the boarders was not a fair indication of the 
 feeling of the better classes at the North; that, in fact, 
 all those who did the talking were only " very com 
 mon, vulgar people," and quite beneath his notice. 
 
 But such consolation was something like trying to 
 talk down the tooth-ache. The colonel's peace of 
 mind was very seriously disturbed. He had heard 
 that slavery was abolished, that the Union had been 
 saved, and that the South had been licked so many 
 times that he dreamed about it; and he longed for 
 nothing so much as the seclusion and privacy of his 
 own hearthstone. But the mountain air was evidently 
 a benefit to his wife and daughter, and he strove to 
 maintain his equanimity. 
 
 His wife suggested changing their boarding-house, 
 10 
 
146 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 and proposed concealing the fact that they were South 
 erners; besides, perhaps it would be better to change 
 on Eva's account. 
 
 The colonel had the same thought. 
 
 "If it is only a little girlish fancy, she might not 
 think of him again," said the mother. 
 
 The colonel agreed with his wife that they had bet 
 ter go. His whole heart and soul and every fibre of 
 his being, especially in the present state of his feelings, 
 revolted against the thought that any stronger tie 
 should grow up between his only child and this young 
 Northerner. 
 
 So the next day he broke the news to the Van Tas 
 sels that they were going. 
 
 He found the whole Van Tassel family congregated 
 in a small room adjoining the boarders' dining-room 
 and used by them as their own refectory. 
 
 " Going, hay ! " cried old Dave Van Tassel, an old 
 man in his shirt sleeves. " What you go'n' fur this 
 soon ? " he demanded belligerently. " You can't go 'fore 
 your week's up ! We don't take no transients here." 
 
 The rest of the family, a crowd of grown-up sons 
 and daughters and their mother, all partners and 
 share-owners in the Pleasant View House, sat looking 
 on in silence, but with hostile mien and gaze. It was 
 the old man's prerogative to do the talking till he ran 
 out of arguments, when it devolved on the others to 
 come to this support. 
 
 " I shall pay you for the entire week," replied the 
 colonel suavely. " I am very sorry to leave you. We 
 all liked it very much here. I think the air has bene 
 fited my wife and daughter, and certainly the scenery 
 here is charming." 
 
 Now there was nothing that pleased old man Van 
 Tassel like having any one speak like this of the Pleas- 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 147 
 
 ant View House. He was just as proud of the air and 
 scenery of his establishment as if he had made them 
 both himself. He was therefore greatly mollified, 
 though far from reconciled. 
 
 " I don't see what you want to go fur," he grumbled. 
 "Don't the table suit ye? If it don't, speak out; we 
 won't take it amiss. My gal, Rosy, here, she's the 
 pastry cook; she makes all the desart; we make our 
 own pies here we don't never buy no fact'ry pies! 
 An' Jinny there, she cooks the hearty wittles; and 
 mother, she makes the bread. Now, if there's any 
 thing amiss, they're will'n' to 1'arn." 
 
 " The table is perfectly satisfactory, I assure you," 
 replied the colonel. "I have not a word of complaint 
 to utter. The bread especially is very excellent," he 
 added, bowing to the delighted breadmaker. 
 
 " Mebbe your bed don't suit," continued the old man 
 with a conscience-smitten look as he remembered that 
 the bed was not the very best in the house. " If it 
 don't, we kin give ye another one. An' say, mother, 
 mebbe the colonel's bed wants a leetle look'n' to. We'll 
 have that fixed all rigiit," he added, nodding 1 confiden 
 tially to the colonel ; " an' we'll change yer mattress 
 this ar'ternoon." 
 
 " Oh, no, no; it would not be worth while! " returned 
 the colonel. " We are not leaving through any dissat 
 isfaction with your house, I assure you." 
 
 "I wouldn't wonder but what the dorg keeps ye 
 awake," still pursued the old man, recalling the fact 
 that this faithful beast held his nocturnal vigils at the 
 corner of the house under the colonel's windows. "I 
 was a calc'lat'n' to have that dorg chained up in the 
 barn, an' I'll do it this very nigiit." 
 
 " The dog doesn't disturb us in the least," replied 
 the colonel. 
 
148 COL. JUDSOtf OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " Father/' ventured one of the girls, the same who 
 waited on the colonel's table, " don't ye know what I 
 was tell'n' ye ? " 
 
 The old man looked wonderingly at his daughter a 
 moment; then a light dawned upon him. 
 
 " Oh, fiddle-deedee ! " he cried, coining to the colonel, 
 and stroking him on the shoulder, while his broad, 
 shriveled mouth relaxed into a fawning grin revealing 
 his toothless gums. "You ain't ago'n'!" he cried, 
 patting the colonel on the back. "I ain't ago'n' to let 
 ye ! Nancy, here, she's been tell'n' as how the boarders 
 has been a plaguV ye about slav'ry an' the Rebellion. 
 But yer don't need ter mind that. Folks only jest 
 talks pol'tics fur the fun of it. Say ! look ahere ! I'll 
 tell ye w'at I'll do ! I'll give ye a private table up 
 thar in the corner of the front p3 r azza! Esterbrooks' 
 folks can jine ye if ye say so; an' I won't charge ye 
 nothV extry. How'll that suit ? " 
 
 But the colonel, though greatly distressed to oppose 
 the old man's ardent wishes so resolutely, assured him 
 that his decision was now irrevocable. Their trunks 
 were packed, and he had secured rooms at the Breeze 
 Lawn House. 
 
 "Oh, up to Steve's!" screamed the whole family in 
 a jealous chorus. "Well! ye won't stay there long!" 
 cried the old man, followed by a chorus of " No, no, I 
 guess not! " from the rest of the family. 
 
 " They've got mosquiters up there to Steve's awful! " 
 cried the old man. "You can't sleep! The biggest 
 kind o' mosquiters! They have to keep a smudge up 
 there ter Steve's the biggest part o' the time." 
 
 " An' chills ! " put in one of the sons, eloquently. 
 
 "Yes," affirmed the old man. "It's malarial all 
 'round there at Steve's. 'Tain't no elevation there at 
 Steve's to speak of not more'n a couple hund'ed feet, 
 if 'tis that," 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 149 
 
 "'Tain't that!" interposed one of the sons. 
 
 " No, I doubt if it is," amended the old man, conscien 
 tiously. " And here you've got eighteen hundred and 
 seventy-nine feet by act'al survey ; an' you don't find 
 no healthier place anywhere in the Catskills than this. 
 As fur the vittles up ter Steve's ye needn't look to 
 git no sech bread as my woman makes. Steve buys 
 the cheapest kind o' flour. An' they use tub butter 
 the season through. You don't see no tub butter go 
 on my table; an' ye don't never git no old sett'n' hens 
 an' old roosters here for spring chick'ns like they give 
 their boarders up ter Steve's." 
 
 " An' the ice-cream, father," modestly suggested the 
 pastry cook. 
 
 " Bet yer life you don't git no sech ice-cream as Rosy 
 makes, up thar at Steve's." 
 
 " Frozen corn-starch and milk, that's what they 
 make," put in the pastry cook, scornfully. 
 
 "Steve don't give his boarders no cream at all, con 
 tinued the old man. Noth'n' but skim milk 'n water." 
 
 " An' the water at Steve's is bad, too," added one of 
 the sons. 
 
 "Yes," affirmed the old man. "Steve's well gives 
 out every summer; an* their spring is full o' wigglers 
 and polly-wogs and green slime. Thej^ have to strain 
 every mite o' water that goes on the boarders' table. 
 
 " Oh, I know you won't stay at Steve's if you go 
 there. About them people that plagues ye so at your 
 table they're go'n 'away in a day or so their time's 
 'most up. An' as to that, Steve's boarders '11 pitch 
 inter ye worse 'n mine. Steve ain't got no sech board 
 ers as I've got, an' he never had. Look at the Blais- 
 dells with their own kerriage an' two nusses." 
 
 But in spite of all the old man could say, the colonel 
 slipped out of his avaricious clutches. 
 
150 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 "But ye ain't ago'n' to-day ?" he cried anxiously. 
 
 " We Shall not go till after breakfast to-morrow/' 
 replied the colonel, to the old man's great satisfaction; 
 and his heart was still further gladdened by the colo 
 nel's speaking for a carriage to take a drive that 
 afternoon, as they wished to visit the " points of inter 
 est," of which the circular spoke, before leaving. 
 
 "You don't find no grander sights nowhere than 
 right 'round here," cried the old man. " When ye go 
 'round this ar'ternoon an' see for yerself, I know ye 
 ain't go'n' to leave us. Say I I hear you like Injun 
 bread! We've been ago'n' to make some; but we've 
 been wait'n' for new meal. We won't wait no longer. 
 You shall have some Injun bread for yer supper! 
 Mother, she's a reg'ler brick at mak'n' Injun bread! 
 Ain't ye, mother ? They can't make no Injun bread 
 fur ye up ter Steve's ! " 
 
 While the colonel was gone to impart the news of 
 his intended departure to the Van Tassels, Mrs. Jud- 
 son went in quest of her daughter, whom she found in 
 her room, dressing for a drive w r ith the Esterbrooks. 
 
 "My dear," she said, "you were so charmed with the 
 Breeze Lawn House the night of the german, I hope 
 you will be pleased to hear that your pa has engaged 
 rooms there for us." 
 
 " Oh ! ma ! " cried Eva, in anything but joyous tones, 
 while the blood leaped to her face and neck. "Are 
 we going away from here, ma ? " 
 
 " Yes, dear. Your pa is too much annoyed by those 
 people at the table. He finds no enjoyment in remain 
 ing here. I know you will not like to go away; but 
 you will make friends there, darling, that you will like 
 as well as you do the Esterbrooks." 
 
 " Oh, ma, no indeed ! I shall never, never see any 
 body in this world again that I do love and admire so 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 151 
 
 much as I do the Esterbrooks ! " And the young girl 
 burst into tears. 
 
 " Why, Eva ! " exclaimed her mother, in consterna 
 tion. " I am astonished ! " 
 
 "It's all over now, ma!" returned Eva the next 
 moment, hastily brushing away her tears. " I know 
 how pa has been tormented here. It made me angry, 
 too, to hear those people talk so to pa. Oh, I don't 
 wonder pa wants to go away ! I love everything and 
 everybody here at the North but those Republicans!" 
 
 "The Esterbrooks are Republicans, dear." 
 
 " Oh, ma, no, not regular ones. They have changed 
 their views a great deal since talking with pa. They 
 told me this morning- that pa had enlightened them a 
 great deal. If Mr. Esterbrook goes to Albany for an 
 other term, I fully believe he will go as a Democrat 
 though, ma, I don't mean he has ever told me so in 
 express terms." 
 
 "Well, dear, it is only three or four miles to the 
 Breeze Lawn House; and no doubt the Esterbrooks 
 will drive over occasionally." 
 
 She wiped the last tears from her daughter's face 
 and kissed her tenderly. 
 
 " Ma, don't tell pa I cried. He will think me so self 
 ish to want to stay here where he is so annoyed." 
 
 " Very well, dear, I shall not mention it. Now, dear, 
 your pa and I are going to take a drive, too." 
 
 " Then am I to go with you and pa instead of with 
 the Esterbrooks ? " cried Eva, in ill-concealed alarm, 
 
 " No, dear," replied the mother, not without a pang. 
 " You must go with them, as you have promised. 
 Mrs. Esterbrook is going with us, and we will go in 
 company; so if we leave the carriages for a ramble 
 we can all go together." 
 
 "Well, ma, that will be nice!" 
 
152 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " Now, dear, you are going to try to be cheerful, are 
 you not ? " 
 
 " Yes, ma," returned Eva, laying her cheek against 
 her mother's and trying to appear satisfied and happy ; 
 yet for all that the world seemed very dark and 
 dreary; and when her mother left her, she again 
 lapsed into tears; and thus the Esterbrook sisters 
 found her when they came to see if she was ready for 
 the drive. 
 
 " Oh ! what is the matter ? " they cried in a chorus, 
 as they beheld her tear-stained face. 
 
 " We are going away ! " cried Eva, sobbing afresh. 
 "Pa's engaged rooms at the Breeze Lawn House! 
 We're going to-morrow ! " 
 
 " Oh, dear ! dear ! isn't that too bad ! " cried the two 
 girls. <e What made your papa want to go there ? " 
 
 " Oh, poor pa couldn't bear those awful people at 
 our table. I don't blame pa for that! And, oh! dear 
 me ! I wouldn't have pa know for anything how I hate 
 to leave! But I had to have my cry out! " 
 
 " But you are not going to give up going with us 
 this afternoon ? " 
 
 " Oh, no, indeed ! I wouldn't miss going for any 
 thing ! " cried Eva, beginning to bathe her face ener 
 getically. " Do I look as if I had been cr3 T ing ? " 
 
 " No, indeed, not a bit ! " agreed the sisters, although 
 the poor girl's eyes were very red indeed. " You look 
 real sweet," added Miss Laura. " Doesn't she, Ellie ? " 
 
 " Indeed she does ! " returned Ellie, sympathetically. 
 
 " Do you think your brother will see I've been cry 
 ing?" asked Eva, anxiously. 
 
 The sisters declaring that Warner would never sus 
 pect it in the world, she put on her hat and gloves, 
 took her parasol, and then cast one last look in the 
 glass. 
 
THE COLONEL AND THE BOARDERS. 153 
 
 " Oh, my eyes do look frightfully red ! " she exclaimed. 
 
 " You look like a dear little angel ! " cried Laura. 
 
 " You look like a dear little martyr just going to be 
 burned at the stake," added Ellie. " You Look real in 
 teresting and lovely ; and Warner will think so too. 
 Crying improves you ! " 
 
 Thus comforted, Eva went down-stairs with the two 
 sisters and found the honorable senator awaiting 
 them on the piazza. 
 
 The colonel, Mrs. Judson, and Mrs. Esterbrook had 
 started in advance. 
 
 Esterbrook had heard the news; but he was confi 
 dent the whole terrible affliction Avould pass away. 
 
 " I don't believe you're going," he said positively. 
 
 " Oh, don't you ? " cried Eva, with a gleam of hope. 
 
 " Why not ? " 
 
 The senator stated the grounds of his belief. He had 
 just been around to the back door talking with Mr. 
 Van Tassel and had learned what arrangements the 
 old man was making to abolish everything that was 
 driving the colonel away. 
 
 " He won't go!" cried the old man victoriously at 
 the conclusion of his prospectus of improvements; and 
 the senator now echoed that sentiment. 
 
 " You won't go, I know you won't." 
 
 " I hope we sha'n't," returned Eva, wistfully. " The 
 air is so lovely here; and the scenery is so beautiful I 
 do hate to go," and she gained hope and courage as 
 the carriage rolled down the hill and she felt the in 
 spiring influence of the exhilarating ozone. 
 
154 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE END OP A GRAND SPECULATION. 
 
 AMONG the "points of interest" mentioned in Mr. 
 Van Tassel's modest little circular, and which the old 
 man charged the colonel on no account to miss seeing, 
 was a famous waterfall in the woods reached by a 
 foot-path leading from the highway opposite the old 
 brick church. 
 
 In accordance with his solemn engagement to old 
 man Van Tassel, the colonel had faithfully led the 
 party through the woods to the waterfall, it had been 
 duly admired, the Esterbrook sisters had just com 
 pleted a little sketch of it, and the party was about 
 returning to their carriages, when, above the noise of 
 the falling water, they heard the sounds of a female 
 voice shouting: 
 
 "Colonel! Colonel I" 
 
 4 The whole party halted in amazement and looked 
 back; and in the edge of the woods, at a short dis 
 tance, they beheld two female figures, one of which was 
 approaching them at a high rate of speed though with 
 a limping gait, beckoning and shouting vociferously. 
 
 Leaving the ladies in charge of the senator, the colo 
 nel, in great wonderment, hastened to the frantic wo 
 man; but, with no suspicion whatever that the Gippses 
 were traveling in the Catskills, much less that Miss 
 Tillie was expecting so soon to form a matrimonial 
 alliance with himself, it was by no means strange that 
 he had great difficulty in recogizing, in the distracted 
 
THE END OF A GRAND SPECULATION. 155 
 
 female approaching- him, his late landlady from the 
 city. 
 
 The Gipps family had been following-, for about a 
 quarter of a mile, the beaten path through the woods 
 which they struck after their memorable escape from 
 the blackberry bog 1 and the hornets, when, suddenly, 
 they came within sound of voices and falling water; 
 and looking cautiously ahead, they beheld the little 
 cascade tumbling 1 over jagged rocks into the valley 
 below, and, standing- near, contemplating- the scene, 
 the colonel and his party. 
 
 The bruised, mud- stained, scratched up, and bat 
 tered pilgrims in the edge of the woods slunk back in 
 shame and mortification behind the trees and peeped 
 stealthily out; but the next moment they had recog-- 
 nized the colonel and two of his companions. 
 
 " What can that mean ? " cried Miss Tillie. " It's 
 the Jewess and that red-headed girl, both, as true as 
 Hive!" 
 
 It was at that moment that the party turned away; 
 seeing which, Mrs. Gipps, thinking- at that moment 
 only of the money she wanted to borrow, started in 
 pursuit, shouting at the top of her voice for the colo 
 nel to stop. 
 
 " Colonel, is that you ? " she whimpered, losing- both 
 courage and presence of mind the nearer she ap 
 proached. 
 
 "My dear madam!" cried the colonel, recognizing- 
 her at last. "You astonish me! I found you were 
 awaj 7 " from home when I stopped at your house on 
 Monday, for which I was sorry, as.I wished to give up 
 my room pray, have you not met with some acci 
 dent?" 
 
 " To give up your room ! " shrieked the bereaved land 
 lady, indifferent to all else, 
 
156 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " Yes, it was necessary imperatively so. I took 
 my baggage away. I found your card on the door 
 bell. I returned the keys to the drug store again and 
 left a note of explanation." 
 
 " Colonel Flushing! (if that's your name!) what does 
 this mean, sir? Have you been trifling with my 
 daughter's affections all summer? Are you such a 
 monster? Who are those two women? I went to 
 Fire Island, sir! You registered there as 'Colonel 
 Flushing and wife/ and in the Catskills as ' Colonel 
 Judson and wife.' I'll expose you, sir! " 
 
 " Madam, one of those ladies is my wife ; the other is 
 my daughter/' and the colonel turned indignantly 
 away, rejoined the others, and disappeared down the 
 hill without perceiving what had come over the 
 wretched woman, who, no sooner had the full import 
 of his words reached her mind than she sank down 
 upon the ground, speechless, staring at vacancy, a 
 death- like pallor in her countenance, and her whole 
 appearance indicating a cataleptic fit. 
 
 "What's the matter? What did you find out? 
 What's he gone off for ? " cried Miss Tillie, coming im 
 mediately from her lurking place as the colonel turned 
 away. " Did he tell you anything ? " she pursued with 
 breathless eagerness. 
 
 But still her mother sat there, speechless, motion 
 less, corpse-like, staring at vacancy. 
 
 " What's the matter with you, for pity's sake ? Why 
 can't you tell me what he said to you ? " whimpered 
 Miss Tillie, gazing at her mother both in affright at 
 her strange appearance and in deep anxiety as to 
 what revelation the colonel had made to have produced 
 this awful result. "I should think you might have 
 some regard for my feelings," she whined, " and not 
 sit there looking that way, when you know I'm that 
 
THE END OF A GRAND SPECULATION. 157 
 
 crazy to know what he said I'm most out of my 
 senses." 
 
 But still her mother sat there, rigid, speechless, 
 corpse-like, staring at vacancy with eyes glassy and 
 sightless. 
 
 " O Lord ! what shall I do ! I guess she's gone out 
 of her mind!" wailed the daughter at last, an awful 
 dread of her mother's person coining over her. " What 
 could he have told her! " 
 
 Her blood ran cold as she stood afar off, gazing upon 
 her mother with horror. " I believe she's a corpse al 
 ready ! " she muttered, " and I here alone with her in 
 the woods ! Ugh ! " and the goose-flesh stood out all 
 over her. 
 
 At that moment she heard a rustling among the 
 bushes and a young country girl with a tin pail full of 
 berries stepped into the path. 
 
 " Oh, say ! " called Miss Tillie, "do come and help me ! 
 My mother has been thrown out of a carriage and I 
 don't know but she's dead!" 
 
 The young woman, the wife of a young farmer in the 
 vicinity, wondering greatly how the unfortunate vic 
 tim of the carriage accident came to be so far away 
 from her carriage, but without stopping to ask idle 
 questions, ran for assistance, and Miss Tillie, anxious 
 to escape the awful presence of the thing on the ground, 
 hurried after, pleading her own injuries as an excuse, 
 and was soon led into a comfortable farmhouse, where, 
 complaining bitterly of her bodily infirmities and 
 bruises, she awaited the arrival of her mother in charge 
 of the farmer and his men. 
 
 It was half an hour or more before these good peo 
 ple announced that their patient had "come to;" and 
 then Miss Tillie, who had completely shirked the care 
 of her mother upon these strangers, and had passed 
 
158 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 the interval in nursing her wounds, in eating what 
 dinner the scared hired girl had been able to set 
 forth between trips to see whether the other lady 
 was a corpse or a live person, passed into the farmer's 
 best bedroom and found her mother a shade or two 
 nearer her natural complexion, intelligence once more 
 gleaming from her eye, and reason on its throne, but 
 with a very glum look on her face, lying, limp and 
 spiritless, on the farmer's best spare bed. 
 
 Approaching slowly and cautiously, her own face 
 pale and apprehensive, Miss Tillie clasped her hands 
 tight around the post at the foot of the bed, saying, 
 with a meeching, shame-faced look: 
 
 "Well, how you feeling now ?" 
 
 The white-faced, listless woman on the bed seemed 
 galvanized into life by the apparition of her daughter. 
 She slowly rose to a sitting posture, sat gazing wildly 
 for a moment into her stricken face and broke into a 
 maniacal laugh: 
 
 "Ha! ha! ha! that Jewess is his wife ! Ha! ha! ha! 
 the red-headed girl is his own daughter!" and then in 
 a more natural tone of voice she screamed : " You are 
 always thinking some man is in love with you, Mati^a 
 Gipps!" 
 
 Miss Tillie, as her mother rose from the pillow, un 
 clasped her hand from the bed-post and recoiled in 
 affright; but when these awful words smote upon her 
 ear, her face blanched, and, raising her hand as if to 
 ward off a blow, she cried out breathlesslj 7 : 
 
 " That's enough ! I won't hear another word ! " 
 
 Mrs. Gipps dropped back upon her pillow as if ex 
 hausted; but she soon rose again, by this time so far 
 restored to her normal condition as to think of her 
 pocketbook. Miss Tillie stood with averted face look 
 ing out of the window, but, quite oblivious of the peace- 
 
THE END OF A GRAND SPECULATION. 159 
 
 ful beauty of the landscape, she was trying to fix the 
 responsibility in this affair, and also trying to think 
 with whom it would be advisable for her to fall in love 
 next, for marry she must, and that, too, right away, it 
 being out of the question to live with this unnatural 
 mother of hers any longer. 
 
 Meanwhile, Mrs. Gipps was silently counting her 
 money. This exceedingly light task accomplished, 
 she grimly ordered her daughter to go and ask the 
 farmer's wife if her husband would take them to the 
 boat-landing at Catskill, and what he would charge. 
 
 The farmer's wife thought her husband would do it 
 if they could wait till morning, as he was then going 
 down on his own account; but she could not be in 
 duced to commit herself as to the charges. She would 
 only say : " Oh, he won't charge ye much. He'll be 
 reasonable. We ain't like some folks. We ain't on 
 the make all the time." 
 
 Mrs. Gipps had not been so near death's door but 
 that she was still anxious to keep up appearances, and, 
 thinking of her financial condition, declared that it 
 would be impossible to wait till morning, as she had 
 very important business to attend to at home; and 
 the farmer, whose name was Burke, finally consented 
 to " hitch up " forthwith, though he complained that it 
 was a little inconvenient, as he was hurrying to get 
 in his rye. As to the charges, well, he didn't know. 
 What did she feel like giving ? Mrs. Gipps brazenly 
 offered two dollars. The farmer laughed sardonically 
 and declared that he ought to have ten, but, in consid 
 eration of the fact that he was going anyhow on his 
 own account, which his wife, with feeble business in 
 stinct, had already revealed, he would take them for 
 six. They finally came together on four dollars. The 
 dinner (codfish and potatoes and Miss Tillie's favorite 
 rice " pudden " with eggs) was fifty cents apiece. 
 
160 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 The bargain struck, the con veyance was soon ready 
 and the Gipps family embarked for home in a long 
 two-seated farm wagon drawn by two wretched old 
 "plugs "just taken from work in the field and not 
 brushed down since some time early in the spring, 
 when they were shedding their hair. 
 
 Miss Tillie and her mother, very carefully avoiding 
 one another's gaze, and neither directly addressing a 
 word to the other till they reached the landing, sat on 
 the back seat, and the young farmer, in a rumpled, 
 soiled linen coat, sat in front, and, truth to tell, as he 
 had not had time to perform a very elaborate toilet, 
 and had just come from an honest and energetic wield 
 ing of pitchfork and rake in the rye field, and the day 
 was very hot, the ride was as disagreeable as any part 
 of the misadventures which had befallen the unfortu 
 nate family that whole day. In fact, a rustic swain 
 cuts a fine figure only in sweet bucolic verse. 
 
 No sooner had they left the shade under which the 
 wagon was standing when they laboriously climbed 
 in, than they missed and bemoaned their parasols and 
 gloves, for the sun was fierce and there was no top 
 whatever to the wagon. Nor was this all. The misery 
 of being scorched by the sun, and the bodily pain they 
 still endured, was nothing to the mortification they 
 felt in passing elegant carriages with wealthy, con 
 tented occupants while riding ignominiously in a farm 
 wagon without parasols or gloves and with their faces 
 so disfigured with stings and scratches. 
 
 Their only relief was in narrating their misfortunes 
 to Mr. Burke, rehearsing the way they had been vic 
 timized by everybody, and recounting the loss of their 
 satchel, parasols, and gloves. (Miss Tillie said nothing 
 of the loss of her teeth.) 
 
 Mr. Burke, who knew tiie Bowlers very well, and 
 
THE END OF A GRAND SPECULATION. 161 
 
 also Bowler's horse and the way they were always 
 tinkering- the holdbacks instead of getting- them 
 mended in the proper manner, agreed with them, in an 
 undertone, that Bowler was lackadaisical, and that 
 Mrs. Bowler, poor soul, had to be the man of the family. 
 Therefore he offered no demur when Mrs. Gipps indig- 
 nantly declared that she ought to be sued for damages; 
 and he took their view of the case when she announced 
 that she neither wished to see or hear from her again, 
 and informed him that he needn't stop in passing not 
 even if Mrs. Bowler came out and hailed him. 
 
 " There would only be hard words," she said. 
 
 By this time they had arrived at the scene of the 
 late tragedy; and all looked curiously for the evi 
 dences of it. 
 
 The horse was gone, and Mr. Burke thought some 
 of the neighbors, in passing, had taken him home to 
 the Bowlers. But the fragments of the wreck still re 
 mained where they had fallen, excepting the front 
 wheels, which had been removed from the middle of 
 the road and stood against the stone wall. 
 
 "There's where we rolled down the bank," cried the 
 heroines of that catastrophe, and Mr. Burke remarked 
 that it was a wonder it hadn't killed them. But al 
 though he was also wondering mildly why they con 
 tinued on so far afterward and were then so anxious 
 to return, he asked no questions, although he had noth 
 ing to lose by it except his character. 
 
 He was very accommodating withal. As he neared 
 the Bowlers' he whipped up and passed at such a lively 
 rate that Mrs. Bowler, who was in the dooryard, would 
 have failed to recognize his passengers even if they 
 had not turned their faces the other way. And thus 
 she lost her hard-earned dollar. 
 
 It was a long, tedious, fatiguing, mortifying journey 
 ii 
 
162 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 to the two wretched women, who took no interest 
 either in the mountains, the farm lands, nor in any 
 industry going on in the fields they passed. 
 
 They reached the "boat-landing 1 but a few minutes 
 ahead of time, paid Mr. Burke his money, and went on 
 board. They had two dollars and a half left. The 
 fare, without a stateroom, was a dollar each. This 
 they paid and hurried to the saloon to take possession 
 each of a sofa, whereon they designed to pass the 
 night. But, as they had not observed on the up trip, 
 there were no sofas in the cabin nor in any part of the 
 boat only chairs a wise provision of the owners to 
 outwit and circumvent the parsimonious as well as the 
 thriftless, who spend all their money for everything 
 else and then ornament the saloons of night boats with 
 their ugly, snoring carcasses stretched out at full 
 length on sofas. 
 
 The Gipps family looked about and took in the situ 
 ation at a glance. 
 
 "Onty chairs!" cried Mrs. Gipps in indignation and 
 consternation. 
 
 "Only chairs!" cried Miss Tillie. And here they 
 were, bruised, sick, and sore, weary enough to die, over 
 come with losses, tormented with the pain of hornet 
 stings, vexed and maddened with disappointments, 
 with only fifty cents between them to finish out the 
 journey, and only chairs to sleep in! 
 
 It was very hard, very cruel; but they did sleep^ 
 though only in cat naps, all night. Every time the 
 boat stopped they awoke, looked wildty and wretchedly 
 around, and always found the night-watch looking at 
 them with a hostile, disapproving gaze. 
 
 It was six o'clock in the morning when the boat 
 reached her pier; and the Gipps family tottered to the 
 Sixth Avenue elevated station, paid their fare (re- 
 
THE END OP A GRAND SPECULATION. 163 
 
 joicing that at that hour it was only five cents), and 
 reached home about seven o'clock Friday morning, 
 with forty cents in their pockets not enough to ad 
 vertise for a new lodger. 
 
 They had run through with fifty-five dollars and 
 forty-one cents since Monday morning. They had 
 ruined their best clothes and lost a goodty portion of 
 their finery. And thus ended their grand speculation. 
 
164 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE BOARDERS KEEP TRAMPLING ON THE COLONEL'S 
 POLITICAL CORNS. 
 
 WHEN the colonel and Mrs. Judson returned from 
 their drive, they found their room had been visited in 
 their absence, and many touching evidences of the Van 
 Tassel a-flection and esteem were everywhere visible. 
 
 The bed had been changed (to the great detriment 
 of some other boarder's sleep that night); ruffled pil 
 low shams had been placed over the pillows; a clean 
 white quilt covered the bed; the two rickety chairs 
 had been sent to another boarder's room and replaced 
 by more reliable ones, including a Boston rocker with 
 a white tidy and pink bows on the back; clean lawn 
 curtains hung at the windows, and the shade that 
 wouldn't go up or down had been repaired; a cover 
 had been placed on the soap dish, a glistening goblet 
 on the wash stand; the broken, smoky lamp chimney 
 had been exchanged for a new one; the wick had been 
 cut and, by an extraordinary effort of genius, cut al 
 most straight; and (most touching of all!) over the 
 mantel-piece had been hung the photographs (in gilded 
 oval frames) of the whole Van Tassel family, old man 
 Van Tassel and " mother," both in spectacles and look 
 ing very funny in their best clothes, being taken to 
 gether, seated side by side, holding each other's brawny 
 hands; two of the sons, who were married, were sit 
 ting in chairs with their wives standing behind their 
 backs, each with a hand on her husband's shoulder; 
 
THE COLONEL'S POLITICAL CORNS. 165 
 
 and every one of the family who was not dressed in 
 plaids or stripes wore blue or red with the usual 
 effect; and their rings and watch chains were all gilded 
 over, and their lips and cheeks painted very red. 
 
 When the colonel and his wife went down to supper 
 they found themselves disposed of in the corner at a 
 small round table with the Esterbrooks, near a win 
 dow opening on the piazza, where they could look out 
 upon the mountains. A large china vase filled with 
 delightfully fragrant roses and other sweet-scented 
 flowers stood in the middle of the table, and, promi 
 nent in the foreground, was a large plate of corn-bread 
 cut in squares and piled high ; but, alas ! for poor old 
 Mother Van Tassel ! she had hit very wide of the mark 
 in aiming to please the Southern palate. She had 
 sweetened it with molasses, "shortened" it generously 
 with lard, and had never dreamed of putting in any 
 eggs ; besides all that, her meal was old and wouldn't 
 rise " nohow." So the vaunted " Injun bread " was only 
 fit for chicken feed, which it eventually became. 
 
 " If this is your Southern hoe-cake and pones," cried 
 Esterbrook, " I wouldn't blame our friend Dickel for 
 turning it over to the pigs." 
 
 But the colonel and his wife both magnanimously 
 endeavored to eat of it out of regard for the " reg'ler 
 brick" who had made it; though with all their efforts, 
 there appeared to be nothing missing from the heap 
 ing plate when the meal was over. 
 
 However, there were other delicacies that were more 
 successful. There was real cream for the tea and ber 
 ries in place of the usual chemical compound which 
 served that purpose, some very nice hot biscuit, and a 
 pair of broiled spring chickens the first sacrifice of 
 the season; for, despite the old man's boastful allusion 
 to this item of his menu, the Van Tassels cherished 
 
166 COL. JUDSOK OF ALABAMA. 
 
 peculiar views on the subject of spring chickens. They 
 had a large flock to which they pointed with pride; 
 and they never sold any; but when it came to offering 
 them up at the altar of their boarders' appetites, the 
 first question asked was, " What air chick'ns wuth 
 now ? " If they were found to be bringing- a high price 
 in the market, old man Van Tassel would say : " Too 
 dear by a long chalk ! I don't kill none o' them chick'ns 
 till they get cheaper'n that, you bet ! " And the rest of 
 the family, possessing the same economical instincts, 
 heartily concurred in the old man's methods of keeping 
 down the cost of the boarders' feed. 
 
 The chickens and cream were pronounced lovely by 
 the occupants of the round table ; so, too, were the bis 
 cuit and the view from the window. 
 
 " I hardly believe you are going away, Colonel," said 
 the senator, hopefully. 
 
 If the colonel himself had begun to harbor any 
 doubts on that subject they were presently dispelled. 
 
 The bustle and confusion of the boarders entering 
 and seating themselves at the various tables and of 
 the first service had no sooner subsided than Mr. 
 Dickel, looking across the dining-room from his place 
 at the central table, called out to the colonel: 
 
 " Well, Colonel, so 3 r ou've left us, hey ? Seceded ? 
 
 And Mr. Doan, the knife-shaker, called out : 
 
 "Set up another Confederacy, hey?" 
 
 " Expect we'll see the stars and bars floating on the 
 breeze before long ! " cried Dickel. 
 
 Then Miss McLane said something which Mr. Dickel 
 gallantly repeated for her. 
 
 " Miss McLane wants to know if you're going to es 
 tablish slavery in your confederacy?" and then he 
 added on his own account : " I tell her it looks a good 
 deal that way, judging by the plateful of Injun-bread 
 
THE COLONEL'S POLITICAL CORNS. 167 
 
 you've got there ! I don't see what else you'll do with 
 it unless you get a lot of poor niggers to eat it ! " And 
 Mr. Dickel laughed heartily at his own wit; all of 
 which, of course, was very pleasant; but the colonel 
 felt little like joking with Mr. Dickel or any of that 
 crew. 
 
 Finally another event occurred that evening which 
 decided him that it was impossible to yield to the 
 wishes of the Esterbrooks and the equally ardent 
 wishes of the Van Tassels. 
 
 Mr. Dickel, having ignominiously failed in getting up 
 another political controversy with the Southerner in 
 the parlor, approached him as he was promenading 
 on the piazza alone, and thus took his revenge for the 
 rebuff he had suffered. 
 
 " Colonel," he began, fixing his big bulging black 
 eyes on the colonel's face, " I understood our friend 
 Mrs. Gipps to introduce you as Colonel Flushing, but 
 I see you are registered here as Colonel Judson. If it 
 is no offense, I should be glad to know which is your 
 real name." 
 
 " Sir," replied the colonel, slowly and deliberately, 
 pausing in his walk and looking down in all his ma 
 jesty on the little man before him, " I am Colonel Jud 
 son of Alabama, and any difficulty you may have with 
 me I will settle with you under that name." 
 
 "Ah! indeed, sir!" sneered Dickel, "but you're in 
 rather too high latitude for that sort of thing. You're 
 north of Mason and Dixon's line now!" he added as 
 he moved off, apparently thinking a whole skin the 
 only requisite of a gentleman. 
 
 Thus it was that, notwithstanding the great acces 
 sion of comforts and luxuries which the colonel and his 
 family had received, and the added blessing of having 
 the dog chained up in the barn that night, by half-past 
 
168 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 nine o'clock the next morning their trunks were stand 
 ing on the piazza, the stage from the Breeze Lawn 
 House was alongside, and old Dave Van Tassel in his 
 shirt-sleeves, as usual, and bare-headed, with his thin 
 gray hair standing in spikes all over his head, sat on 
 the piazza rail talking to the driver, one of "Steve's" 
 sons. 
 
 The Judsons had not yet come down. 
 
 " Hullo ! Jimmy, 's that you ? " called out the old 
 man cordially, to let him see right away that he was 
 welcome to the boarders he was after. 
 
 A great change had come over the old man's spirits 
 in the last two hours. His rancorous feelings had 
 greatly subsided; he was reconciled to the colonel's 
 departure. Just as he sat down to breakfast that 
 morning he received a telegraph message from a last 
 year's boarder in the city that he would arrive that 
 afternoon by three o'clock with his wife, two grown-up 
 daughters, two young sons, baby, and nurse. That 
 would fill every room in the house, including the Jud 
 sons' ; and he had now come out on the piazza to speed 
 the parting guest and to let him know how providen 
 tial it was he was going, after all, and to let Steve's 
 folks know it, too, and to let Steve's folks see for them 
 selves that old Dave Van Tassel knew manners and 
 came out bravely to see his boarders off, instead of 
 sneaking into the kitchen and peeping out at them 
 through the blinds. 
 
 Jimmy Coones, the young man on the driver's seat, 
 returned his neighbor's cheery salutation with a sheep 
 ish nod and a feeble acknowledgment that "it was 
 him." 
 
 " Wall, now, by hoky ! ain't you a cheeky young fel 
 ler," continued the old man jestingly, " to come over 
 here ter kerry off my boarders ? " 
 
THE COLONEL'S POLITICAL CORNS. 169 
 
 Jimmy's freckled face turned very red; he hung his 
 head and tried to conceal how cheap he felt by tick 
 ling 1 his spirited horses with his whip and giving him 
 self a great deal to do to hold them in and shout, 
 " Whoa there, will ye ! whoa ! " 
 
 "Wall," continued the old man, "ye kin hev this 
 parc'l an' welcome. Fm sick on 'em ! I never had so 
 much trouble with no boarders before, never! They 
 was talk'n' ag'n las' night 'bout stay'n' another week 
 if I gave 'em a private table; an' I did give 'em a pri 
 vate table, an' they veered around ag'n like the 
 weather-cock on my barn; an' a mighty lucky thing 
 it was for me or Fd 'a' got left ! " And then he told 
 the story about the telegram. 
 
 " So you see," he continued, " if they'd a stayed Fd 'a' 
 had to turn away this other party, an' there's eight o' 
 them." He counted the baby, which the sharp young 
 fellow on the front seat by no means failed to notice. 
 " To-morrer another load's a com'n', an' I don't know 
 wheer in time Fm ago'n' to put 'em. Guess Fll hef 
 to send 'em over ter yer dad ! He ! he ! Air ye full 
 yet?" 
 
 " Pooty nigh, I guess," replied the young man, un 
 able to look into the face of the neighbor, whom he still 
 believed he was doing a wrong, despite that individ 
 ual's stoical endurance and his boastful claims to the 
 contrary. "I guess," he added, "there ain't only one 
 room left now, and that's in the garret." 
 
 " Wall, that's good ! " returned the old man, with his 
 private doubts as to the truth of the story. "About 
 these 'ere folks ye're ago'n' ter kerry off 1 kin tell yer 
 father he'll be sick o' his barg'n ! He'll be as glad to 
 git red o' them critters as we be ! " 
 
 The young man holding in the two restive steeds 
 received the warning like a stoic. 
 
170 COL. JUDSOIST OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " 'S that so ? " he murmured, with his best affecta 
 tion of credulity. 
 
 "Fact!" returned the old man, "ye can't suit 'em 
 nohow no use a-try'n'. Ye'll hev yer labor fur yer 
 pains." And he recounted the useless toils and sacri 
 fices of the previous day, not forgetting 1 the photo 
 graph benefaction or old Mother Van Tassel's deli- 
 cious corn bread, much less the destruction of a pint of 
 cream and two high-priced spring chickens, the mem 
 ory of which still rankled in his breast and embittered 
 his satisfaction in swapping them off for the other lot. 
 " I never seen people so hard to suit, never! But they 
 are Southerners that 'counts for it. They can't be 
 satisfied short o' hev'n' a drove o' niggers runn'n' at 
 their heels all the time! Not but what they speak 
 well o' the scen'ry an' the air here, though. The col 
 onel, he says his wife's cured o' the chills a'ready, an' 
 his darter too. Here they air," he added, lowering his 
 voice as the Judsons and Esterbrooks appeared on the 
 stairs. 
 
 " Wall," he continued in a loud voice, still addressing 
 the young man from the Breeze Lawn House, affecting 
 to be unaware of the approach of the party on the 
 stairs, " I'm right glad to hear you're fill'n' up. I'm in 
 hopes ter hear yer father'll do a good business this 
 season. Morn'n', Colonel ! " he cried affably as the col 
 onel appeared with his family. " I'd a been in a pooty 
 pickle if you'd 'a' changed yer mind about leav'n' us, 
 Colonel," he said, grinning gleefully. " Here's one o' my 
 ole boarders been an' telegrafted me this morn'n." 
 And he told the telegraph story again, with an in 
 crease to the party of one more grown-up daughter 
 and an extra small boy. 
 
 " Sorry to part with ye, Colonel," he added hospita 
 bly. " I'd 'a' liked to 'a' kep' ye all summer; but I 
 
THE COLONEL'S POLITICAL COENS. 171 
 
 guess ye'll like it over ter the Breeze Lawn House as 
 wall as ye did here. Ye won't find no better air nor 
 no better scen'ry anywheer in the Catskills than over 
 ter Stephen Coones's; an' 's I say, ye'll like thar as 
 wall as ye did here, an' better too" a crafty remark 
 especially designed to draw the colonel out on the ad 
 vantages of the Pleasant View House, so that Jimmy 
 Coones might hear his opinion of the Van Tassel air 
 and scenery from the colonel's own lips. 
 
 "Thank you," replied the colonel; "we shall no 
 doubt find the Breeze Lawn House in every way satis 
 factory; but I am sure we shall not find more salubri 
 ous air or more beautiful views anywhere than here. 
 We were all charmed with our drive yesterday " (with 
 a slight twinge at the recollection of the Gipps epi 
 sode). " I want to thank you, for myself and my wife 
 and daughter, for the very great pains you and all 
 your family have taken to render our stay here agree 
 able. I assure you we shall not forget it. You have 
 been very kind and thoughtful, and I feel that it is im 
 possible for us to render you any adequate return." 
 
 Poor old Dave was so overcome with excess of joy 
 on hearing such an acknowledgment as this in the 
 presence of Steve's intelligent son, that he felt like 
 kicking up his old heels and shouting hallelujah. He 
 forgot all he had been saying to Jimmy Coones, for 
 got all his hard feelings, and even forgot the two la 
 mented spring chickens whose precious heads he had 
 chopped off so bootlessly; and never once did a shadow 
 of doubt as to his entire desert of all the colonel had 
 uttered disturb his self-complacency. 
 
 " Wall, now," he drawled, with a grinning face, " I'm 
 right glad ter hear ye speak so I am that, Colonel; an' 
 I hope the air has done yer lady good, too." 
 
 " Mrs. Judson feels much stronger and has rested 
 
172 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 better at night since she has been here" (in spite of 
 the dog, he might have added) " than she has done for 
 some time, which is undoubtedly due to the air; nor 
 has she had any indication of a return of the chills." 
 
 "Well, I dew say !" grinned the delighted old man, 
 looking out of the corner of his eye at Jimmy Coones 
 to see if he was attentive. " I'm right glad ter hear 
 it, I'm sure ! Mos' people kin sleep here if they kin 
 anywheer; an' as ter chills, that's something we don't 
 know nothV 'bout up here." 
 
 By this time Mrs. Judson and Eva, assisted by the 
 senator, were seated in the stage, and the colonel 
 started down the piazza steps, followed by Mr. Van 
 Tassel, who was going to show his manners still further 
 by giving a farewell handshake to the ladies, when a 
 voice from the piazza, where now a number of the 
 boarders were assembled, cried out : 
 
 " Going, Colonel ? Sorry we're going to lose you ! " 
 and looking back, the colonel saw Mr. Doan and the 
 rest of his tormenters watching him off. " We shall 
 miss you pretty badly, Colonel ! Sha'n't we, Mr. Van 
 Deusen ? " 
 
 " Yes, Colonel," cried Mr. Van Deusen, " we sha'n't 
 know what to do with ourselves ! You kept us so 
 lively all the time." 
 
 " I guess we shall have to take rooms over at the 
 Breeze Lawn House, too," shouted Mr. Doan. " Don't 
 you think so, Mr. Dickel ? " 
 
 " Oh, by all means ! " sneered Dickel. 
 
 "Miss McLane," cried Doan, as- that lady appeared, 
 "here's the colonel leaving us ! I know you must be 
 sorry to see him go." 
 
 " Oh, yes, very," replied Miss McLane, with her most 
 austere expression. 
 
 The colonel bowed his farewell to the chorus of good- 
 
THE COLONEL'S POLITICAL CORNS. 173 
 
 bys from the piazza and took his seat in the stage; 
 old man Van Tassel put up a grimy paw to Mrs. Jud- 
 son and Eva, wished them good luck and good health, 
 said good-by and that he hoped he would see them 
 again; and then to the young man on the front seat 
 he cried out tenderly: 
 
 "Drive keerful, Jimmy, my boy; the ladies is narvous 
 an' can't stan' jolt'n', ye know." 
 
 Jimmy said he would and started up his horses, and 
 they were off Eva looking back through the mist in 
 her eyes, waving her hand, Mrs. Judson sweetly bow 
 ing, and the Esterbrooks waving their handkerchiefs 
 from the piazza. 
 
 The next moment they were down under the hill, 
 and the people on the piazza could no longer be seen. 
 Mrs. Judson and the colonel gazed around delightedly 
 on the passing scene; but poor Eva could see nothing 
 for the tears that kept welling up in her eyes, and 
 she was glad that neither her father nor her mother 
 was looking at her. But it was soon over; for she 
 was going away with a great hope in her heart: the 
 Esterbrook girls had whispered, " Perhaps we shall 
 come too if ma will consent "; and the senator had asked 
 her twice that morning what she thought the Van 
 Tassels would say if his party were to leave, too; then 
 he asked her if she thought she would want to leave 
 the Breeze Lawn House if his family came there; 
 again, when he bade her good-by, it seemed as if there 
 was a meaning, a deep meaning, in the pressure of his 
 hand and the glance of his eye as he said playfully: 
 
 "You needn't think this is the last you'll ever see 
 of me ! I'm going to drive over to your house to-mor 
 row, sure." 
 
 But how far off to-morrow seemed to poor Eva ! 
 How in the world could' she live till to-morrow! It 
 
174 COL. JUDSOIST OF ALABAMA. 
 
 was not yet ten in the morning-. She wondered he 
 had not said to-day, this evening, or after supper; and 
 she wondered if he would see about engaging 1 rooms 
 when he did come, and whether there were any to be 
 had, and what she should do and how she could live if 
 they didn't come at all. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 IN LOVE WITH A SOUTHERN GIRL. 
 
 THE Hon. Warner N. Esterbrook saw the stage of 
 the Breeze Lawn House disappear below the hill with 
 great unrest. It was not at all proper that he should 
 take horse and follow. Whatever that dear little 
 Southern girl might think, the colonel had given him 
 no encouragement to perform such a rhapsodical act. 
 He knew his own deficiencies too well. He was a Re 
 publican. He knew well enough how sore the colonel's 
 heart was on this subject. 
 
 This was why he felt obliged to restrain himself, 
 and why he said he would be over to-morrow instead 
 of this afternoon or evening. But it almost seemed 
 as if he would have to take chloroform to get through 
 the day. 
 
 As for staying at Van Tassel's for anything more 
 than a decent interval, it was out of the question. 
 Only he wondered what was a decent interval. He 
 wished something would happen to compel them to go 
 at once. He would have been glad if the house had 
 burned down. The place seemed to him perfectly 
 abominable. He wondered how he had ever endured 
 such discomforts and miseries. He felt justified in 
 leaving the very next day. When he came to the 
 
IN LOVE WITH A SOUTHERN GIRL. 175 
 
 dinner table the potatoes tasted soggy, the squash 
 watery, the cream fraudulent, the ice- water tepid; 
 and the meat had a bad taste around th3 edges. 
 
 " This place is getting perfectly intolerable ! " he ex 
 claimed to his mother and sisters. " I wonder you can 
 eat anything ! " 
 
 " I do think, mamma," said one of the sisters, " that 
 the table is not so good as it was at first. Don't you 
 think so ? " 
 
 " I don't see any difference," replied Mrs. Esterbrook. 
 " I don't know that we could find anything better in 
 these mountain resorts. They are celebrated for bad 
 tables, you know." 
 
 "That's very true, mother," said the senator, argu- 
 mentatively; "but after a certain time the appetite re 
 volts against a long-continued diet of one monotonous 
 abomination; it is better to try another, even if it's a 
 little worse." 
 
 " But, Warner, it is so fatiguing to pack trunks in 
 warm weather." 
 
 " Never mind that, mother ! " cried the young man. 
 "I'll pack your trunk and do it up brown! You 
 needn't do one thing but put on your bonnet and get 
 into the carriage." 
 
 Mrs. Esterbrook smiled at the idea of a senator's 
 packing his mother's trunk, but gratefully declined 
 the service. 
 
 " I think it is so dull here, mamma," said one of the 
 sisters, persuasively. "Now that the Judsons have 
 gone, it seems as if there is nobody here. I do wish 
 we could get rooms at the Breeze Lawn House." 
 
 "At the Breeze Lawn House!" exclaimed Mrs. 
 Esterbrook. " Would you want to go there, Warner ? " 
 and she fixed her eyes upon her son with an affectation 
 of perfect ignorance, while her two daughters, after 
 
176 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 studying her face a moment, began to laugh, and her 
 son, trying to keep down the rising color, replied : 
 
 " Why not ? I thought when I was over there that 
 the scenery was even finer than it is here, and it is 
 considerably higher. Besides, the parlor is larger and 
 better furnished, and the piano is not quite such an 
 old banged-up concern. The piazzas are much wider 
 and higher too, and, moreover, there isn't any pigpen 
 to windward that I could discover. I saw some splen 
 did looking people there, too. I don't know anything 
 about the table, of course, but it couldn't be worse than 
 it is here." 
 
 " Yes, and the Judsons are there that's why I want 
 to go there," said one of the sisters. 
 
 "Yes, I was going to add," continued the senator, 
 with great candor, " that the fact that the colonel has 
 gone there is another attraction for me." 
 
 "Ahem," coughed the sisters in a mischievous 
 chorus. 
 
 " I found him a very pleasant companion," pursued 
 the senator, with dignity, ignoring the interruption. 
 " The information I have received from him with regard 
 to the condition and sentiments of the Southern peo 
 ple, I feel confident, will inure to my benefit at no 
 distant day, and, I hope, to the benefit of mankind. I 
 should be very glad to continue my association with 
 him. As a public man, I couldn't enlarge my knowl 
 edge in a more important direction." 
 
 " Well, Warner," replied his mother, " I shall not 
 oppose your wishes. If you can get good cool rooms 
 there, as good as we have here, get them." 
 
 " Mother, you're a perfect angel ! " cried the grateful 
 son. 
 
 "I know, my dear, I know. When do you propose 
 going over ? " 
 
IN LOVE WITH A SOUTHERN GIRL. 177 
 
 " To-morrow, " was the decisive response. "It would 
 not do to postpone if we want to get good rooms. And 
 by the way, mother, hadn't you better go over, too ? 
 It would look better, you know. I don't want any 
 body to think I don't want it to look as if I hatched 
 out this project myself. It doesn't look well for a 
 man in public life to be running about from one board 
 ing-house to another. I think it would look better to 
 have people know that you and the girls couldn't stand 
 the abominations here any longer." 
 
 "I had no idea you were so bashful," replied Mrs. 
 Esterbrook, smiling slyly. " I will go over, of course, 
 though I don't see the necessity." 
 
 To his sisters the young man was more outspoken. 
 He sought them after dinner, in their room, where 
 they were reading novels and trying, on principle, to 
 keep from going to sleep, and had a very candid con 
 versation with them. 
 
 . " Girls," he began, " I want to have a talk with you 
 about going over to the Breeze Lawn House. Now 
 this is confidential, you understand." 
 
 " How awful to be in love in hot weather ! " mur 
 mured Laura, pityingly. 
 
 "You're getting awfully thin, Warner," added Ellie, 
 surveying her brother with affected concern. " Your 
 constituents would be alarmed to see you ! " 
 
 " I don't see the relevance of your remarks," replied 
 the brother. "I came in to speak with you about 
 going over to the Breeze Lawn House if you can spare 
 the time." 
 
 " Well, speak," cried Laura, laying her book in her 
 lap. " Is it anything about Eva ? " 
 
 " Nothing whatever. I only want to get away from 
 this miserable hole as soon as possible." 
 
 "Well, if you mean by that," returned Laura, "that 
 
 12 
 
178 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 you're only flirting, and after getting poor Eva to fall 
 madly in love with you " 
 
 " Oh, what perfect drivel ! You must be reading 
 some trashy novel ! Here, let me throw that book 
 out of the window, to begin with." 
 
 " Go 'way ! " cried Laura, hugging her book. 
 
 " I am going to see what I can do at Albany this 
 winter to abolish novels ! " 
 
 "Well, I wish to goodness you would I" returned 
 Laura. " It would be a great burden off my mind if 
 I didn't ever have to read any more novels or any 
 thing else. I'm only reading this one so I can say I 
 have read it. Now go on about Eva." 
 
 " I just wanted to impress it on your mind that you 
 and mother must shoulder the whole responsibility for 
 this change. Will you ? " 
 
 "We'll see about it, Mr. Esterbrook," answered 
 Laura. "But what's the reason you don't want to 
 shoulder the responsibility yourself ? " 
 
 " Oh, I don't mind telling you that. I prefer not to 
 have the Judsons think I originated the project: that's 
 all." 
 
 " Very well, bub ; don't worry any more about it; we'll 
 do it," answered Laura. 
 
 " But it won't suffice merely to tell Eva. You must 
 speak out before the colonel and Mrs. Judson." 
 
 The two girls took turns gaping and promising. 
 
 "You are both of you about half asleep," cried the 
 anxious young man. "I wouldn't be surprised if you 
 both say right out before the colonel that the minute 
 they left nothing would suit me but to follow as soon 
 as possible." 
 
 The girls laughed. 
 
 " We'll tell Eva that ! " cried Laura. " She will ap 
 preciate it; but we won't tell the colonel nor her ma: 
 
IN LOVE WITH A SOUTHERN GIRL. 179 
 
 for I don't believe they are very anxious to have you 
 for a son-in-law if you are a senator ! " 
 
 "Why not, I'd like to know?" 
 
 " Because you are a g-ood-for-nothing Republican ! " 
 and the g-irls laughed and g-aped again. 
 
 " Did Eva tell you that ? " 
 
 "Not exactly; but she says she, on her father's ac 
 count, wishes ' we' were not Republicans. You'll have 
 to turn Democrat if you want to marry a Southern girl." 
 
 "Well, I'll see about it," and he left them. 
 
 " He acts like a fish out of water," was the commen 
 tary of his sister Laura. 
 
 "Yes," answered Ellie, "and poor Evie is in the 
 same misery over at the other place. They're awfully 
 in love ! I wouldn't wonder if she is sitting- on the 
 piazza watching- the road to see if he isn't coming to 
 day instead of to-morrow, as he promised." 
 
 Presently their brother returned. 
 
 " Say, girls, to-morrow it's going- to be hot, I know; 
 so let's gx> over to the Breeze Lawn House this even 
 ing-. You can ask mother for me, can't you.?" 
 
 " Oh, you horrid thing ! " cried the girls. " This is 
 the hottest day of the season. It's too hot to stir!" 
 
 " But this evening, after supper, it will be cool. We 
 can go just after sunset; and coming- back it will be 
 moonlight." 
 
 "But ma's asleep now," objected Laura, "and we 
 can't disturb her; when she wakes up it will be too 
 late to argue it with her." 
 
 "No it won't," persisted the brother. "Tell her 
 I'm afraid all the rooms will be taken." 
 
 "I'll g-o and talk to mn, Laura," said Ellie. " Oh, you 
 poor soul ! This is exactly what I expected," she 
 cried, shaking her fan languidly at her brother. " I 
 wouldn't be in love this hot day for fifty dollars." 
 
180 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 She then went to her mother and very soon returned 
 saying 1 that her indulgent parent had very readily con 
 sented and, indeed, what would she not do for Warner? 
 
 So that evening-, immediately after supper, they set 
 forth for the Breeze Lawn House. 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 THE COLONEL OBJECTS TO A REPUBLICAN SON-IN-LAW. 
 
 Miss EVA sat alone, pensive and dreamy, on one cor 
 ner of the piazza at the Breeze Lawn House, gazing on 
 the dying sunset and longing for the morrow. It was 
 only a little after seven ; and yet it seemed to her as 
 if it had been a week since they left Van Tassels' that 
 morning 1 . 
 
 Mrs. Judson and the colonel were walking- on the 
 lawn. On this, their first evening at the Breeze Lawn 
 House, they all felt unquestionably lonely. The ex 
 periment of making no acquaintances, in the hope of 
 avoiding a repetition of their late unpleasant experi 
 ences, was, to their genial natures, a trying one. 
 Their new landlord had given them a private table ; 
 and they had sat, during dinner and supper, without 
 addressing or being addressed by any one. 
 
 They missed the Esterbrooks more than they ex 
 pected; and the colonel felt the change as much as 
 any of them. He had found great pleasure in talking 
 with the young senator, feeling a vague consciousness 
 that he was effecting a radical chang-e in the young 
 Republican's sentiments, and eradicating- from his 
 mind many erroneous impressions concerning the 
 South. When, therefore, a two-seated buckboard 
 wound its way up the lofty hill on which stood the 
 
A REPUBLICAN SON-IN-LAW OBJECTIONABLE. 181 
 
 very appropriately named Breeze Lawn House, and 
 Miss Eva came flying down the piazza steps with a 
 wild light in her eye, shrieking-, " Ma ! O ma ! here 
 are the Esterbrooks ! " they were far from being un 
 welcome. 
 
 The colonel went to the carriage and gave them all 
 his hand as if they had not met for months. 
 
 " We were afraid you would be lonely over here in 
 the woods, so we came over to pay you a visit/' said 
 young Esterbrook, laughing and blushing. 
 
 "That was very considerate of you," replied the colo 
 nel, cordially. "We have, indeed, been feeling very 
 lonely." 
 
 The young ladies had already alighted and were 
 engaged in embracing Miss Eva. 
 
 "You dear little angel! It seems like a hundred 
 thousand years since we saw you ! " 
 
 "We didn't expect to come over till to-morrow," 
 whispered Laura, " but Warner got crazy to see you 
 perfectly raving distracted ; so we had to come to 
 night, or put him into a strait jacket." 
 
 Then came Warner with his own version of the 
 story. 
 
 " You see how much my sisters think of you, Miss 
 Judson ! They declared they should die if they couldn't 
 see you before to-morrow; and nothing would do but 
 that I must get a buckboard and bring them over 
 this evening." 
 
 "Well, I'm so glad you've come !" cried Eva, ac 
 cepting both versions of the story and perfectly trans 
 figured with joy. "You don't know how lonesome I 
 was ! " Oh, so pathetic it sounded ! " And pa and ma 
 missed you, too ! Pa said, just a minute ago, that he 
 missed his chats with Mr. Esterbrook." 
 
 "Oh, did your father say that !" cried the young 
 
182 COL. JlTDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 man, his hopes rising. " Well, if my mother and sis 
 ters have their way, and can get rooms here, we are 
 all coming here to board." 
 
 "How delightful ! " cried Eva. "I do hope you can 
 get rooms ! " 
 
 "Laura, you and Ellie had better go with mother 
 and see about it right away," said the young man, 
 trying hard not to seem very anxious about it though. 
 
 Meantime, Mrs. Esterbrook, good woman, was keep 
 ing her side of the contract in the following manner 
 (she being unburdened with any suspicion that her 
 honorable son was not looked upon as an eligible alli 
 ance for any man's daughter) : 
 
 " My poor dear Warner has been almost distracted 
 all day/' she cried confidentially to Mrs. Judson; " and 
 finally, to pacify him, I had to promise to come over 
 here to board if we could get rooms." 
 
 The young ladies and their mother, accompanied by 
 Eva, went immediately to look at rooms, while the 
 colonel, Mrs. Judson, and the senator remained in con 
 versation on the piazza. 
 
 For a while it seemed as if the Breeze Lawn House 
 was full to overflowing. 
 
 " I don't see w'at I'll do with ye," muttered Mr. 
 Coones, in perplexity, " onless I put ye in the third 
 story." 
 
 " We don't want to go on the top floor if we can 
 avoid it," replied Mrs. Esterbrook; "and yet," she 
 murmured in Eva's ear, "if we can't get suited, what 
 will poor dear Warner say ! " 
 
 " I'll give you my room," returned Eva. " I don't 
 mind going up another flight." 
 
 "Oh, you self-sacrificing child !" cried Mrs. Ester- 
 brook, " I wouldn't let you do that ! " 
 
 " We'll have some vacancies pooty soon," Mr. Coones 
 
A REPUBLICAN SON-IN-LAW OBJECTIONABLE. 183 
 
 kept saying anxiously, as if vacancies were the great 
 est desiderata a summer boarding-house could have. 
 
 Finally, after much cudgeling of his brains and many 
 visits to the kitchen for consultation, Mr. Coones, who 
 kept his accounts entirely in his unlucky head, hap 
 pened to remember that there was a party going away 
 Monday morning. But these people were in their rooms; 
 and thinking to show their high breeding and social 
 importance by being as selfish and disobliging as possi 
 ble, they peremptorily and haughtily refused to allow 
 their apartments to be seen \>y any one. 
 
 Mr. Coones skulked away from the door after this 
 rebuff, divested, for the moment, of all the dignity of 
 a man and a peer; but self-interest promptly restored 
 his equanimity. 
 
 " The rooms overhead is jes' the same," he whispered 
 with a chuckle, as he thought how he could get even 
 with these people yet. "You kin see them; an' then 
 you kin jedge what they air down here, if that'll do ye 
 jes' as well." 
 
 "Just as well," replied Mrs. Esterbrook; and they 
 all ascended to the third story; and after inspecting 
 the rooms there and the view they commanded, the 
 bargain was struck, to the great joy of all concerned. 
 
 " Then we will come Monday," said Mrs. Esterbrook, 
 and they all went down-stairs happy. 
 
 " We've got splendid rooms ! " cried the young 
 ladies as soon as they reached the piazza. 
 
 " Ah ! indeed ! " listlessly responded their brother. 
 " I am glad you are suited." 
 
 It was beginning to grow quite dark on the piazza. 
 The twilight had faded out; and the moon had not 
 yet risen. The Esterbrook girls proposed trying the 
 piano, of which their brother had spoken so highly; 
 and they all went into the parlor. 
 
184 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 After a while it was found that the senator was miss 
 ing. Further examination revealed that Eva was 
 missing also. But nothing- was said. The talk and 
 the music went on just the same. 
 
 The moon was just rising, the evening not too cool 
 for sitting outdoor, and on the piazza at one end were 
 the missing ones. The moon was pale and feeble; and, 
 still scarcely above the hills and trees down toward 
 the horizon, the light it shed over the scene was not 
 too glaring and unpoetic. It was a peaceful, lovely 
 scene the distant mountains faintly outlined in light 
 and shadow, the white road winding up the hill be 
 yond, the well-kept lawn with every twig and bush 
 and shrub of evergreen distinctly visible. 
 
 The conversation between the pair was not intellec 
 tual, animated, or well sustained. They were perfectly 
 satisfied with very small talk and very little of it, and 
 with gazing on the scene and listening to the chirping 
 of insects and the distant cry of a whip-poor-will. 
 
 Their sweet soul-communings were interrupted by 
 the grating of wagon wheels on the graveled carriage 
 way leading from the stable to the house, and Ester- 
 brook recognized his buckboard which he had ordered 
 brought around at half-past ten. Then he heard his 
 mother's voice at the open casement. 
 
 " Where is Warner ? The carriage is here." 
 
 " Oh, goodness ! are you out here ? " cried the sisters, 
 coming out upon the piazza. 
 
 The senator went inside; Eva remained on the 
 piazza with the sisters. Mrs. Esterbrook was saying 
 her last words to Mrs. Judson, and together they went 
 outside. The other boarders who were not on the 
 piazza had gone to their rooms, and young Esterbrook 
 found himself alone with the colonel. 
 
 Then happened something unexpected and unpre- 
 
A REPUBLICAN- SON-IN-LAW OBJECTIONABLE. 185 
 
 meditated. One moment before, the young- man had 
 no thought of doing 1 what he did. 
 
 " Colonel," he began impulsively. 
 
 " Warner, we are all ready, and it's late," called his 
 mother from the piazza. 
 
 " One moment, mother, if you please. Colonel, will 
 you allow me a word with you ? " 
 
 The colonel bowed gravely. 
 
 " Colonel/' began the young man again in the same 
 feverish tones, " I feel that no man of self-respect and 
 honor, or of any delicacy of feeling " 
 
 Here, poor fellow, he broke down utterly. His fine 
 sentence came to an ignominious end; his hands trem 
 bled and his lips twitched. 
 
 It is hard, indeed, that the most impassioned utter 
 ances, the most glowing eloquence, the most sonorous 
 phrases seemingly the only true and proper expres 
 sion of the heart's emotions are more often the pro 
 duct of cold calculation, composure, and rhetorical 
 skill. 
 
 " Colonel," he began once more, " since I have met 
 your daughter " 
 
 Here he found himself about to give the colonel a 
 description of the feeling of a man in love. 
 
 " What drivel that would be ! " he thought to him 
 self. But he was determined to bolt through with the 
 sentence. "Since I have met your daughter, I have 
 learned to love her ! " he cried in impassioned accents, 
 " and I ask your consent to win her heart." 
 
 The colonel was visibly moved. 
 
 "My dear friend," he began earnestly, "this is co 
 me a trying position. Eva is our only child. I am a 
 Southron, and Alabama is and will ever remain my 
 home. To leave our only child here in the Forth will 
 be a terrible sacrifice for her mother and myself, and 
 
186 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 doubly trying, feeling 1 as we do now how little sym 
 pathy is to be expected from the present generation of 
 , Northern people for us of the South. I will say to 
 you frankly that I had hoped, in leaving Mr. Van 
 Tassel's, that my daughter's mind would resume its 
 normal course. Her mother also believed that such 
 would be the case. She is young, very young. But if 
 I am. wrong in cherishing such a hope, I shall do noth 
 ing to ruin her happiness. I can give you no more defi 
 nite answer to-night. I have no right to do so till I 
 consult with her mother. It is possible we may leave 
 early Monday morning for the Berkshire Hills. Should 
 we do so, while I shall ever remember you as a cour 
 teous and agreeable companion and friend, I shall ex 
 pect you to regard our departure as indicating that 
 I desire, for the present at least, that all communica 
 tion between my daughter and yourself shall cease." 
 
 Esterbrook was completely dazed. The whole earth 
 seemed to have become extinct. For a moment not a 
 word, not an argument, had he to offer in reply, but 
 presently the one all-absorbing, all-controlling idea of 
 his mind was crystallized in one passionate, vehement 
 utterance : 
 
 "Sir, I love your daughter and I believe her heart 
 is already mine ! She would rightly think me a vil 
 lain if I remain silent now. No man of honor could 
 retreat after having gone so far ! " 
 
 " A man of honor," replied the colonel with firmness, 
 " will submit to a father's will. It is against my wishes 
 that you should hold any further communication with 
 my daughter at present. You \vill know my final de 
 cision Monday." 
 
 " Sir, I shall wait/' replied Esterbrook. " If I am 
 wrong in believing I possess your daughter's affection, 
 then let the blow fall on me alone." 
 
A REPUBLICAN SON-IN-LAW OBJECTIONABLE. 187 
 
 They passed out together and joined the others on 
 the piazza. The young 1 man, assisted by the colonel, 
 placed his mother and sisters in the carriage and then 
 took his leave of Mrs. Judson, who, having surmised 
 the tenor of the conversation in the parlor, was con 
 strained and reserved. When he turned to make his 
 adieu to Eva, her father was standing by her side 
 holding both of her hands in his. Esterbrook, with 
 hat in hand, only bowed and said good-night, in husky 
 tones. But the young lady cried out pettishly : 
 
 " Pa, pa, let go ! How can I bid Mr. Esterbrook 
 good-by ! " 
 
 Her father released a hand, but Esterbrook only 
 touched it lightly, said good-by again, and added, in a 
 voice that plainly revealed his agitation in spite of 
 every effort at self-command, "I hope to see you 
 Monday." 
 
 As soon as the carriage had wound its way down 
 the hill to the road, the colonel and Mrs. Judson went 
 inside; but Eva remained on the piazza gazing ab 
 stractedly on the beautiful moonlit scene, lost in sweet 
 revery. Her mother's voice aroused her. 
 
 "My dear, come in. It is eleven o'clock. We,re 
 going up-stairs." 
 
 " Is it so late, ma ? It is so lovely, I hate to go to 
 bed;" but joining her father and mother in the parlor, 
 and too happy within herself to observe their grave 
 and sorrowful looks, she exclaimed rapturously : " Ma, 
 I think this place is perfectly heavenly 1 I feel per 
 fectly transported with joy to-night because it's such 
 a lovely night ! And you don't know how glad I am 
 the Esterbrooks are coming here, too ! Ma, you must 
 be sleepy; and you too, pa ! You look as solemn as 
 two owls. But as for me, I feel as lively as a cricket; 
 I feel like sitting up all night to look at the moon ! " 
 
188 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 They went up-stairs tog-ether. Eva blithely bade 
 her father and mother good-night, went to her own 
 room, and seating herself at the open window, gazed 
 out upon the scene, musing and dreaming till long after 
 midnight. 
 
 The next morning she went down-stairs to break 
 fast looking as bright and fresh as if she had enjoyed 
 a full night's rest. 
 
 " O ma ! " she exclaimed ecstatically, " what a 
 divine world this is ! I just love this place ! It is so 
 beautiful ! How lovely the air feels this morning ! 
 
 pa, I'm so glad you thought of coming here ! I am 
 perfectly enchanted with it ! " 
 
 "My dear," replied her father, gravely, "you must 
 not think too much of this place. What will you do 
 when you are obliged to leave it ? " 
 
 " Well, pa, I don't want to stay here after everybody 
 else has gone away. It won't be pleasant then." 
 
 " But what if something should occur to prevent our 
 remaining here the rest of the summer ? You must 
 not become so much attached either to places or peo 
 ple here at the North that you cannot part with them 
 without great pain and sorrow." 
 
 " How can I help that, pa ? " 
 
 "You must be philosophical. You must bear con 
 stantly in mind that your home is in the South, and 
 that the people you meet here are only passing ac 
 quaintances whom you may never see again." 
 
 " O pa, pa, you give me the blues ! I can't be so 
 philosophical as that ! Now, for instance, the Ester- 
 brooks ! Why, pa, I would just want to die if I thought 
 
 1 was never to see them again ! But why should I feel 
 that way ? They have all promised and promised 
 that they will come to Alabama and visit us this very 
 winter," 
 
A REPUBLICAN SON-IN-LAW OBJECTIONABLE. 189 
 
 " Well, dear, they will have a good chance to see the 
 South as it is. I am always glad when Northern peo 
 ple come down among us." 
 
 " Well, now, pa, do, do say they are not mere passing 
 acquaintances. I feel as if every fibre of my heart 
 were bound up with theirs ! I am sure I shall never 
 part with them for good ! We shall always know 
 each other and be intimate friends. Don't you think 
 so, pa ? " 
 
 " Perhaps so, dear. Time will reveal/' 
 
 This conversation rendered it all the more difficult 
 and painful for the colonel to say to his daughter what 
 he had on his mind to say. He deferred it until the 
 afternoon, when he found her on the lawn, reading 
 under the shade of a broad-spreading old maple tree. 
 
 " Eva," he began very seriously, " I have come to 
 tell you something that you will be very sorry to hear, 
 but I expect you to bear it like a sensible girl." 
 
 " Oh, dear me, pa, what in the world is it ! " cried 
 Eva, apprehensively, thinking that perhaps he had 
 heard that the Esterbrooks were not coming after all. 
 " It is something dreadful I know by your looks." 
 
 " Oh, no, my dear, it is not at all dreadful," replied 
 her father, with an attempt at cheerfulness. " If you 
 were not so much attached to this place that you will be 
 sorry to leave it, my news would be agreeable rather 
 than otherwise, for I know you are fond of travel." 
 
 " O pa, what is it ? " gasped Eva. " We are not going 
 away from here, I hope, pa ? " 
 
 " Yes, dear, matters of importance take me to Mas 
 sachusetts at once. I know you like this beautiful 
 place, but there are others even more attractive. We 
 shall go from here to the Berkshire Hills, which are as 
 celebrated for fine scenery as the Catskills. The air 
 there is renowned for its salubrity," 
 
190 COL. JUDSOX OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " But when, pa ? When are we going ? " asked Eva, 
 in a faint voice. 
 
 " Monday morning, dear." 
 
 " Monday, pa ? Next Monday ? " 
 
 "Yes, dear, next Monday day after to-morrow/' 
 
 " O pa ! that is so soon ! " 
 
 " I know it is, Eva. I am sorry you are disappointed 
 about remaining here, but I feel satisfied that as soon 
 as you find yourself in a place equally beautiful, among 
 pleasant companions, as pleasant as any you have met 
 in the Catskills, you will be reconciled to the change. 
 Don't you think so ? " 
 
 " I don't know, pa." 
 
 "Well, now, won't you try, Eva? Try for your 
 mother's sake. It will grieve her to see you looking 
 disappointed and down-hearted. The change is abso 
 lutely necessary. Now you are going to be reconciled, 
 aren't you?" 
 
 " I suppose so, pa. I will try." 
 
 She was gazing off into vacancy with clouded face 
 and eyes full of tears, and her voice, though steady, 
 was plaintive and almost inaudible. Her father con 
 tinued a few minutes longer striving to reconcile her 
 to the change, and left her saying, as he pressed her 
 hands sympathetically : 
 
 " It grieves me to see you looking so sad', Eva. But 
 I feel sure the time will come when you will look back 
 upon this and see that your father and mother knew 
 best what was good for you. I am going now to order 
 a carriage for a drive, and I hope that that will bring 
 the smiles back to your face." 
 
 Eva watched her father till he disappeared behind 
 the shrubbery around the carriage-house, and then, 
 springing to her feet, she flew to her mother. 
 
 " Ma ! ma ! " she cried wildly, " I cannot go away 
 
A REPUBLICAN SON-IN-LAW OBJECTIONABLE. 191 
 
 from here I cannot, ma ! You must leave me here, 
 ma ! You must, you must ! If you take me away I 
 shall die ! I shall die ! " 
 
 "Eva! Eva \" cried her mother, in great agitation 
 and alarm, " calm yourself, my child. You terrify me ! 
 How can you get so excited about such a matter ? " 
 
 " Ma ! ma ! say you will leave me here ! " 
 
 " My darling- child, it is out of the question ! You 
 are far too young. I did entirely wrong in sending 
 you to Mr. Van Tassel's so long before I came." 
 
 " Why, ma," pleaded Eva, " what harm did it do ? 
 What harm will it do for me to stay here a few weeks? 
 The Esterbrooks will take care of me." 
 
 " My child, it is impossible," returned Mrs. Judson, 
 resolutely. 
 
 " Ma ! ma ! my heart will break ! " cried Eva, burst 
 ing into tears and throwing herself on her mother's 
 neck. " I thought I was going to be so happy, and now 
 it is all snatched away ! I shall die ! I shall die ! O 
 ma ! ma ! let me stay ! " 
 
 "Eva ! Eva ! " cried the mother, vainly endeavoring 
 to calm her daughter's excitement, but she still sobbed 
 and begged piteously to be allowed to remain; and 
 when her father came to report how much better she 
 had borne the news than her mother had apprehended, 
 and how satisfied he was that a change of scene and 
 of companions would overcome her disappointment, he 
 found her in violent hysterics in her mother's arms 
 and beyond the reach of argument, entreaty, or even 
 of acquiescence in her desires. 
 
192 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 MISS EVA MARRIES A MUGWUMP. 
 
 WHEN Esterbrook came Monday morning- to see 
 whether it was in order for him to blow his brains out, 
 he found the Judsons still at the Breeze Lawn House, 
 and, to all appearances, they had no present inten 
 tion of going away. At least Jimmy Coones, who 
 took his horse, had heard nothing about it and was 
 surprised at the question. 
 
 Esterbrook, by no means satisfied as to the signifi 
 cance of this, hurried to the house, looked into the par 
 lor which was silent and deserted, walked all around 
 the piazza and looked over the lawn, where there were 
 other guests in large numbers playing lawn tennis and 
 croquet or swinging in hammocks; but there was no 
 sign of the Judsons anywhere about. 
 
 He then started in search of some one to take his 
 card to the colonel, and, after going all over the house, 
 brought up, at last, at the door of the kitchen where 
 he could hear the rattling and scraping of pots and 
 pans, the banging of dishes, the suggestive thud of a 
 chopping-knife, and a perfect Babel of female voices 
 and laughter. 
 
 He knocked and pounded on the door as loud as 
 seemed befitting a gentleman; but being unable to 
 make himself heard, he ventured to raise the latch 
 and look in, thus bringing down upon himself the 
 shame and humiliation of beholding the champion 
 dirty kitchen of the State; and instantly he resolved 
 to see what he could do at Albany the coming winter 
 
MISS EVA MAREIES A MUGWUMP. 193 
 
 for the inspection of summer boarding-house kitchens 
 and the abolition therein of flies defunct and animate, 
 of garbage, mephitic air, dirty girls, and frowsy head. 
 
 It was a vast room incredibly littered with a dis 
 gusting, loathsome conglomeration of refuse and un 
 cooked food; and, although there were windows on 
 two sides and three doors opening to the outer air, the 
 windows were all closed and but one door stood open. 
 Two girls were wiping dishes at a sink opposite and 
 dancing a break-down; another was up to her elbows 
 in dishwater; a woman was kneading bread at a table 
 covered with dirty dishes and millions of flies; others 
 were shelling peas, peeling potatoes, picking over ber 
 ries, and so forth; and a girl, with bushy, fiery-red 
 hair flying in every direction, was alternately chopping 
 meat in a large wooden bowl and skirmishing with her 
 hair to keep it out of her eyes: and all were more or 
 less talking, laughing, hallooing, and singing. 
 
 The first who espied a gentleman at the door cried 
 out in awe-struck tones: 
 
 "Girls! hush up!" And Esterbrook, fortunately 
 succeeding in maintaining his dignity despite his mor 
 tification and shame, communicated his wishes and 
 consigned his card to the care of the girl with the 
 bushy red hair. He then returned to the parlor. 
 
 The colonel came down immediately. 
 
 He looked very grave, and his tones at once be 
 trayed his agitation. 
 
 " O my dear young friend ! " he exclaimed, grasp 
 ing the astonished Esterbrook by the hand, " you do 
 not know how near I have come to losing my beloved 
 child ! Only the presence of a skilful New York phy 
 sician here in the house has saved her life ! She was 
 threatened with congestion of the brain at the bare 
 mention of leaving this place. I see no help for it now 
 
194 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 but that you are destined to become my son-in-law. 
 Thank God ! I believe you are a noble young man ! 
 But it is a terrible thing to take an only child from her 
 parents. It is a terrible blow to her mother and to 
 me. We were never before brought to realize that 
 we must ever part with her, least of all that we should 
 ever be called upon to leave her in the North. But I 
 am satisfied that you are in every respect worthy of 
 the feeling that you have inspired in my child ; and 
 her mother joins with me in yielding to your wishes." 
 
 "Sir, sir," cried Esterbrook, earnestly, "anything 
 that I can do to reward you for this and be a man, I 
 will do ! " 
 
 It was several days before Eva was able to leave 
 her room ; but she knew the Esterbrooks had arrived 
 and that the Berkshire Hills were given up ; and when 
 Mrs. Esterbrook and the two girls came to sit with 
 her, she was perfectly contented, for she knew the 
 senator was down-stairs. Every time they came up 
 thej T brought her numerous messages from him ; and 
 every morning he sent her a bunch of flowers which 
 he had gathered with his own hands, and which she 
 smiled on in a beatitude of joy. 
 
 But when, at last, she was able to sit on the piazza 
 and see him with her own eyes, the color rapidly came 
 back to her cheek, and she was soon herself. 
 
 From this time onward their happiness was as un 
 disturbed as if the foolishness of Mother Eve had 
 not brought toil and sorrow and death into the 
 world. 
 
 Not a doubt of each other, not a jealous pang, not a 
 single misunderstanding, not a tear, not a frown, not 
 a conflict of wishes or of tastes, not a diversity of tem 
 perament or of opinion, marred their perfect paradise ; 
 and, to crown all, the colonel and his wife were not 
 
MISS EVA MARRIES A MUGWUMP 195 
 
 only resigned, but their hearts were full of joy and of 
 gratitude to heaven as they daily beheld the happi 
 ness of their child and learned to know the worth of 
 their destined son-in-law. 
 
 " I am perfectly satisfied now/' said the colonel to his 
 wife, when, at the end of a month, the young couple 
 became formally engaged. 
 
 " I do not believe a nobler young man exists South 
 or North. That he has a good head, a good under 
 standing, and a conscientious desire to be on the right 
 side is evident from the change his opinions have 
 undergone. He was a Republican because his father 
 was. He had -accepted the party without question 
 and without thought, on the strength of its own pre 
 tensions and representations. I am persuaded that 
 this change he has undergone comes from his inner 
 most heart; but I fear it will be regarded here as an 
 infamous act of apostasy. I regret that; but I re 
 joice that he sees the iniquities of the Republican party 
 in their right light. As to his personal character, he 
 has his faults, of course; but they are mainly the 
 faults of youth or amiable weaknesses that are easily 
 forgiven. Perhaps he is a little self-conceited as yet; 
 but he is young, and his early successes and the adu 
 lation of his friends have naturally inflated his self- 
 importance. He will outlive all that and look back 
 and laugh at it all. He is high-minded and conscien 
 tious that is the main point and he is zealous and 
 warm-hearted." 
 
 " Yes," added Mrs. Judson, " and he is affectionate, 
 amiable, unselfish, and brimming over with the milk 
 of human kindness." 
 
 " He is, indeed," added the colonel, warmly ; " and he 
 is frank, generous, pure-minded, and the soul of honor. 
 All his impulses are noble and manly." 
 
196 COL. JUDSON OF ALABAMA. 
 
 " Another thing," added Mrs. Judson, " there is noth 
 ing of the irreverent and wicked in any of his wit, as 
 there is in so many young people. I respect him for 
 that." 
 
 " An admirable young man in every respect/ 5 pur 
 sued the colonel. 
 
 " He is, indeed," affirmed Mrs. Judson. 
 
 Such was the estimate put upon the Hon. Warner 
 N. Esterbrook by the colonel and his wife on the day 
 when he became engaged to their daughter. If too 
 flattering to that entirely human young man, perhaps 
 it was not more so than people are wont to place upon 
 the character of an amiable, estimable youth, with 
 good prospects in life, under like circumstances. At 
 all events, little Miss Eva had safely escaped being 
 "crossed in love" and the danger of becoming a 
 crabbed, sarcastic misanthrope, a melancholy little old 
 maid, a lunatic in a strait jacket, or an angel up in 
 Heaven : for although love can be gotten over easily 
 enough the second or third time, and any number of 
 times thereafter, the result of the first attack is often 
 perilous and problematical. 
 
 Early in September the colonel received overtures 
 for a compromise from his antagonists in the lawsuit 
 which originally brought him North. It was but a 
 modicum of his claim, and the lawyers wanted him to 
 hold out against it for a while ; but it was a round mil 
 lion and freedom from litigation; and the Southerner 
 spurned the idea of haggling for more, when a million 
 was enough. He therefore hastened to accept the 
 offer, and Eva was nobly endowed. 
 
 The marriage took place in October. It was a beau 
 tiful and interesting wedding, with a lovely bride, two 
 lovely bridesmaids, a handsome groom, and two proud 
 mothers and a well-satisfied father looking on; and 
 
MISS EVA MARRIES A MUGWUMP. 197 
 
 thus ended the war between the North and the South 
 so far as Colonel Judson of Alabama was concerned. 
 In a few days, accompanied by a son-in-law (for a visit 
 of a month or two), he returned to his home with many 
 pleasant memories of his experience at the North to 
 sweeten the bitter, and with his knowledge consider 
 ably enlarged by his visit, though of the opinion that 
 it was even more important that the Northern people 
 should come South. 
 
 THE END. 
 
SECOND EDITION. 
 
 A NEW AND POWERFUL NOVEL. 
 
 By K. BKAN, 
 
 Author of Colonel Judson of Alabama. 
 
 AMERICAN AUTHORS' SERIES. 
 
 At all Bookstores, or sent postpaid on receipt of price : 50 cents 
 in paper, $ 1.00 in cloth. 
 
 JOHN W. LOYELL COMPANY, Publishers, 
 
 1 5O Worth Street, New York. 
 
 PRESS OPINIONS. 
 
 A very strong novel. Boston Transcript. 
 
 It is strikingly original, bold in treatment, and interesting in its descriptions 
 of Maine scenery and familiar localities. Albany Evening Journal. 
 
 There is good stuff in this novel, and the character of Pudney is a striking 
 and original one. Charleston News. 
 
 The book deserves attentive reading from those interested in social questions. 
 New York Recorder. 
 
 This is certainly an interesting book. New Orleans Picayune. 
 
 All of the characters are strongly drawn, and we have new and admirable 
 types in Pudney and his hard-working wife. Albany Argus. 
 
 The book is remarkably original. San Francisco Call. 
 
 In great part a well-told story. There is graphic description in the book, and 
 some of the characters are admirably drawn. . . . Many of Mr. Bean's pict 
 ures have the true Yankee tone, and they are naturally and admirably drawn. 
 New York Sun. 
 
 It is an intensely interesting satire on shoddy aristocracy. ... In the flood 
 of literature there are not many stories that will outrank " Pudney & Walp" 
 either in interest or style. Deliver Rocky Mountain News. 
 
Pudney & Walp is perhaps the least attractive title any recent novel has 
 borne, but the story is strong enough to survive this misfortune There 
 
 are graphic pictures of Pudney's struggles with his men when trouble comes 
 . ._ . There is a cruel tragedy when the eldest daughter commits a frightful 
 crime and there is a wonderfully vivid picture in strong colors when the seenb 
 
 Si rt T llS ?^ nted Oneofthecleverestbitsof character-drawing is Betsy 
 
 Dodd whose life was spent m knitting "sale stockings " coarse enough to shoot 
 peas through; and Lib Pudney 's faithful wife, is a creation full of homely 
 nohihty. Many other characters stand out with a distinctness that is startling 
 and the reader can readily believe that almost every one of them has been closely 
 drawn from living men and women. Book Beview, New York. 
 
 This scene [of the trial] is the best in the book, but there are others of great 
 interest, and, as a comprehensive study of labor, society and life generally in 
 Maine, the story of "Pudney & Walp" is, we believe, the best that has yet been 
 written. San Jose Mercury. 
 
 A great strike, vividly told, forms the central event of the well- written story 
 Pittsburg Telegraph. 
 
 There are several more than clever characters introduced into the story as 
 well as a number of dramatic scenes. Baltimore American. 
 
 The book is full of interest, and Pudney proves the truth of the oft-repeated 
 assertion that the hardest master to the laboring man is he who has been a 
 laborer himself. The sturdy independence of the New England men and women 
 is well brought out. Denver Times. 
 
 An entertaining story of American life. The plot is full of interesting inci 
 dents. Washing ton Public Opinion. 
 
 All the characters, and there are many of them, are drawn by a skilful hand, 
 and the book is written in a light and breezy fashion that is quite likely to com 
 mend it to the public. New Orleans States. 
 
 A well-told story. Milwaukee Sentinel. 
 
 The book is worthy of attentive reading. Detroit Tribune. 
 
 Aside from the labor problem, there is much to entertain the reader. The 
 descriptions of Maine scenery and familiar localities in the East are almost equal 
 to a visit to that picturesque region. Kansas City Journal. 
 
 The characters are well drawn, and many of the incidents are decidedly realis 
 tic. Son, Francisco Chronicle. 
 
 Maine scenery is accurately presented, and the characters are true to life. 
 Portland Oregonian. 
 
 The complex relations between capital and labor are admirably drawn ; but 
 the book is burdened with an undue amount of profanity from Pudney. Doubt 
 less his remarks are true to nature, but the average reader objects to swearing 
 except from clergymen in the form of Bible quotations. Tacoma Globe. 
 
 An American tale of dramatic power. Philadelphia Bulletin. 
 
 " Pudney & Walp " promises to be one of the sensations of the season. 
 Godey^s Lady's Book. 
 
 There is a strength and virility about this author's work that is more than 
 apparent before a dozen pages hare been read. Brooklyn Citizen. 
 
 The story is well conceived. . . . The story of Pudney's change of heart 
 and character under the influence of great wealth and position is well drawn. 
 N. Y. Epoch. 
 
 The characters are all well drawn, and in several instances develop considera 
 ble quaint humor and originality. N. Y. Tablet. 
 
 The characters of Pudney and his wife are drawn with no mean skill. Boston 
 Post. 
 
 It tells, with a mastery of realistic effect, the story of the begmning and rise 
 of the great granite business of " Pudney & Walp " on an island in Penobscot 
 Bay. Portland Transcript. 
 
There is some admirable character-sketching, the strongest figures being 
 Pudney and Mrs. Walp. Boston Advertiser. 
 
 It is a portrayal to the life, and furnishes food for reflection as well as rarely 
 good entertainment. Photo. Am. Review, New York. 
 
 It is well worth reading. ... It is eminently calculated to arouse thought 
 while it interests and at times amuses. The author is a master of neat wit and 
 elegant satire. . . . The whole story is thoroughly well told. Journal of the 
 Knights of Labor. 
 
 A more original or a more puzzling book has not been issued this year. . . . 
 It takes a strong hand to direct such diverse and trying material. The very 
 name of the novel is not inviting. . . . But as we go on the characters 
 develop with a subtlety that takes us unawares, the canvas broadens and the 
 scene fives. . . . The gorge rises sometimes at the central figure, Pudney. 
 We wonder the more at the consummate mastery over his creation by which the 
 author forces us to respect the nobility which lies within so rough a nature as 
 the perfect statue is hidden in the unshapely and unsightly stone. It is a pecu 
 liarly striking figure, and, above all, original and native to the soil. Silas Lap- 
 ham and Daniel Pudney, if they ever meet, will understand each other at once. 
 Baltimore Sun. 
 
 We have read just far enough to wonder if the author is " twitting on facts " 
 or building up a romance out of his imagination. An island of Maine granite is, 
 however, a stern reality, and it must be conceded the story has a good founda 
 tion. The book is strongly written and full of interest, and should find many 
 readers hereabouts. Belfast (Me.) Republican Journal. 
 
 A narrative that lays hold of the imagination at once. The two families that 
 take up their habitation in the tumble-down, temporary quarters provided for 
 them among the rocks are so different from each other in nature that one again 
 instinctively commends the sagacity that suggested the types. The picturesque 
 wildness of the island, inhabited only by fishermen, is enough to attract the 
 reader at the outset. Cleveland Leader. 
 
 The story is amazing in its originality, the subject matter, the manner of 
 treating it, to say nothing of the brilliant drawing of character, indicating a 
 mental atmosphere free from the shackles of precedents. The problem of labor 
 is studied from the point of view of one who has risen from the ranks, and the 
 conclusions reached are creditable alike to humanity in general and author in 
 particular. A self-made millionaire in the toils of riches, the vulgar hauteur of his 
 foolish children, born in poverty ana ashamed of the condition from which they 
 have sprung; the relation of the workman to master, of servant to mistress, of the 
 unfortunate to the prosperous hi the characteristic State of Maine/ all these more 
 serious themes and the inevitable social questions with which they are inextricably 
 involved, are treated with a force truly masterly. There is a lesson in every line, 
 but it is not forced upon the reader's attention, rather coated with the sugar of 
 wit and satire, and consequently it is unusually effective. Brooklyn Standard- 
 Union. 
 
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY 
 
 Los Angeles 
 This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. 
 
 FIB 4 1953 
 "4PR 2 1953 
 
 FormL9 15m-10,'48(B1039)444 
 
 TKF LIBRARY 
 
 f BOSNIA 
 
Bean - 
 
 -1082 Ool. Judsui: 
 33 5 c of Albania. 
 
 JOI 
 
 RARy FACILITY 
 
 A 001385495 
 
 PS 
 
 1082 
 
 B35c 
 
 BIOGRAPHY B