RHODES Bombastes Furl o so THE MINOR DRAMA. No. XXXV BOMBASTES FURIOSO, :2l Burlwqtie STragU ©para. IN ONE ACT. BY THOMAS BARNES RHODES. WITH'THB STAGE BUSINESSi CAST OF CHARAOTBB^ COSTOMSS, BELATITE F03ITI0NS, BTO. -• »«- NEW YORK: SAMUEL FRENCH, 122 Nassau Street, (Up Stairs.) CAST OF CHARACTERS. Covint Garden, 1830. PaHk, MK ArtmtominonM Mr. Mathews. Mr. H. Plaoido. Futboi " TayJor. " Nickiuiion. BomboMtet " LUton. " J.Fisher. J>uUiSina Mrs. Liston. Mrs. Vernon. Attendant*, Drummer, Fifer, and two or three SoldUrt of different riUM COSTUMES. ARTAXOMINOUS, King of Utopia.— YmW dress, court suit, powdered wig ' FUSBOS, Minitter of Slate,— Tho same. GENERAL BOMBASTES.— A general's military suit Jack boots, comic pov (Icred wig and pigtail, sword and sasti, general's liat and plumo. Second dret$. Morning gown and slippers. ATTENDANTS.— Full dress court suits- ARMY. — A long drummer, a short fifer, and two or three soldiers of diSerMt dimensions, all dressed in caricaturo. DISTAFFlNA.— Colored chintz gown, open in front, crimson balimanco petticMl while muslin aoron, mob-cap, white muslin handkerchief. EXITS AND ENTRANCES. B. means Right; L. Left; U. D. Right Door; L. D. Left Door; 8. £. Second Entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance ; M. D. Middle Door. RELATIVE POSITIONS- B. means Right; L. Left; 0. Centre; B. 0. Right of Centre t 1. J. Left of Centre. UNIVERSITi^ OF CALIFORIgU SANTA BARBARA ^7 fl^ EDITORIAL INTRODUCTION. There is possibly no piece of the kind that has held longer possession of the Stage, excited more shouts of laughter, and been received with more approbation "Chan Bombastes Furioso. In that peculiar walk of the Drama denominated Burlesque it stands pre-eminent. The language and incidents abound with wit, and what is technically called "stage situation," while there is no apparent labor for effect. The piece is a favorite with the ''dramatis personae," and the greatest comedians that ever lived have been engaged in it; Liston, Mathews, Harley, Munden, Oxberry, and in the United States, H. Placide, Fisher, Hilson, ice. Mr. Placide is the most prominent General Bombastes of the present day, by whom the piece is very frequently brought forward. The great demand for Bombastes Furioso, together with its scarcity, was the inducement for its publication ; — it is printed from a rare London edition, for a copy of which we are indebted to Mr. D. S. Palmer, of the Olympic Theatre. BOMBASTES FURIOSO. ACT I. Scene I. — Interior of the Palace. Artaxominoub in his Chair of State. — A Table, set out with bowls, glasses, pipes, ifc. — Attendants on each side. TRIO. Am—" Tclceli." \st Ait. What will your Majesty please to wear 1 Or blue, green, red, black, white, or brown 1 2d Att. D'ye choose to look at the bill of fare 1 Art. Get out of my sight, or I'll knock you down, 2d Att. Here is soup, fish, or goose, or duck, or fowl, or pigeons, pig, or hare ; 1st Att. Blue, green, or red, or black, white, or brown, What will your Majesty, &c. Art. Get out of my eJght, &c. [Exeunt Attendants, n. and L« Enter Fusuos, l., and kneels to the King. Fus. Hail, Artaxominous ! ycleped the Great ! I come, an humble pillar of thy state. Pregnant with news — but ere that news I tell, First let me hope your Majesty is well. Art. Rise, learned Fusbos ! rise, my friend, and know. We are but middling — that is, but so so. Fus. Only so so / Oh, monstrous, doleful thing! Is it the mulligrubs affects the king 1 Or, dropping poisons in the cup of joy, Do the blue devils your repose annoy 1 BOMBASTES FURIOSO. [Ac* f Art. Nor mulligrubs, nor devils blue are heie, But yet we feel ourself a little queer. Fus. Yes, I perceive it in that vacant eye, The vest unbuttoned, and the wig awry : So sickly cats neglect their fur-attire, And eit and mope beside the kitchen fire. 1 Art. Last night, when undisturbed by state affairs, 3 Moist'ning our clay, and puffing off our cares, Oft the replenished goblet did we drain, And drank, and smoked, and smoked and drank aorain; Such was the case, our very actions such, Until at length we got a drop too much. ■ Fus. So, when some donkey on the Blackheath roaa Falls, overpowered, beneath his sandy Joad, The driver's curse unheeded swells the air. Since none can carry more than they can bear. Art. The sapient Doctor Muggins came in haste, Who suits his physic to his patients' taste ; He, knowing well on what our heart is set, Hath just prescribed " to take a morning whet;" The very sight each sick'ning pain subdues, Then sit, my Fusbos, sit, and tell thy news. Fus. [Sits L. of table.] Gen'ral Bombastes, whose re- sistless force Alone exceeds by far a brewer's horse, Returns victorious, bringing mines of wealth ! Art. Does he? by jingo! then we'll drink his health. [Drum andjifc, R. Fus. But hark ! with loud acclaim, the fife and drum Announce your army near; behold, they come ! [Drum and fife again., r. Enter Bombastes, k., attended hy one Drummer, oneFifer, and two Soldiers, all very materially differing in size. Bom. [ To Army.] Meet me this ev'ning at the Barley- Mow ; I'll bring your pay, you see I'm busy now : Begone, brave army, and don't kick up a row. [Exeunt Soldiers, r. [To tJie King.] Thrashed are your foes — this watch and silken string. Worn by their ch jpei-l^s Fancy." Bom. I'll quickly run you through. Fus. No, hang me, if you do! I think I know a trick can equal two of that ; My sword I well can use, So mind your P's and Q, s. Bom, I thank you, sir ; but I must caution you of that Air — ''Lord CathcarVs Favorite.'" Fus 'Tis a pleasure to fight With a man so polite, Then hear in return what I'll do, sir ; I'll take down aught you'll say In the will-making way, And be your executor, too, sir. * This duct is sanictimes omitted. BeSNS IV.] BOMBASTES FURIOSO. 17 Bom. Oh, sir, there's no need For so friendly a deed, But I hope for yourself you're provided j Since your worldly affairs Will devolve to your heirs, As soon as the point is decided, Then come on while you can, Meet your fate like a man — Bomhastes shall ne'er be derided. Bom. Oh, Fusbos, Fusbos, I am diddled quite, Dark clouds come o'er my eyes, farewell, good night ! Good night, my cock, my soul's inclined to roam. So make ray compliments to all at home. [Lies down by the King. Fus. And o'er thy grave a monument shall rise, Where heroes yet unborn shall feast their eyes ; And this short epitaph that speaks thy fame, Shall also there immortalize my name : " Here lies Bombastes, stout of heart and limb. Who conquered all but Fusbos — Fusbos him." Enter Distaffina, l. Dis. Ah, wretched maid ! oh, miserab e fate ! I've just arrived in time to be too late; What now shall hapless Distaffina do ? Curse on all morning dreams, they come so true. Fus. Go, beauty, go, thou source of wo to man, And get another lover where you can : The crown now sits on Griskinissa's head ; To her I'll go— Dis. Bui are you sure they're dead ? Ftu. Yes, dead as herrings — herrings that are red. FINALE. J)it. Briny tears I'll shed. Art. [Rising.] I for joy shall cry, too : Fus. Zounds ! the King's alive ; BoTn. [Rising.] Yes, and so am I too. Dis. It was better far Art. Thus to check all sorrow; 18 BOMBASTES FURIOSO. ACT 1 Fus. But, if some folks please, Bom. We'll die again to-raorrow. Dis, Tu ral, lu ral, la, Art. Tu lal, lu ral, laddi ; Fus. Tu ral, lu ral, la, Bern. Tu ral, lu ral, laddi. f Ther/ take hands and dance round repeating Ckorut, THE BND. UC SOUTHERN III AA n\ THE LIBRARY 'V OF ^iipr»p