BY THE AUTHOR OF 
 
 LETTERS ON THE EASTERN STATES." 
 
 i 
 
 BOSTON: 
 
 WELLS AND LILLY, COURT-STREET. 
 
 1821. 
 
To give a formal account of a collection 
 of trifles like those contained in this little 
 volume, would be making a very inexpedi 
 ent addition to their number ; but the au 
 thor may be indulged with a few words, 
 by way of introduction. Having had some 
 connection with the Monthly Anthology, 
 and the North American Review, which will 
 be works of considerable moment in the 
 annals of American literature, he was desi 
 rous of stating a few facts, relating to the 
 origin and conduct of those two journals ; 
 and to be furnished with an excuse was 
 the prevailing motive for selecting a few 
 light papers, from among the articles he con 
 tributed to their pages. As neither of these 
 journals were at the time in very exten- 
 
 M8G1074 
 
iv PREFACE. 
 
 sive circulation, the pieces taken will be new 
 to most readers. On perusing them again 
 to make the present selection, it seemed ex 
 pedient to change or omit some sentences ; 
 but on reflection they appeared too slight to 
 bear repairing, and they are therefore re 
 printed verbatim " with all their imperfec 
 tions on their head." Several of these 
 papers are in the form of Memoirs, the sa 
 tire of which is general and without any 
 individual reference. The idea of assum 
 ing this manner was first suggested by the 
 vexation of having waded through a very 
 tedious, pompous and jejune memoir of a 
 Frenchman, who was seeking by its com 
 pilation to pay his court to Napoleon. The 
 wide diffusion of science is one of the ad 
 vantages of our times ; yet it tends to pro 
 duce a great deal of ostentation from writers 
 of very shallow pretensions, and is apt to 
 lead even those who possess solid acquire 
 ments, into a misplaced and ridiculous pe 
 dantry. Some persons now a days can 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 hardly speak of a field of Indian Corn, 
 without talking about Triticum Indicum; 
 and if they describe the Venus de Medicis, 
 as made of Parian marble, [carbonate of 
 lime] is sure to be added between brackets. 
 The remaining articles were the occu 
 pation of a few idle hours, and if they give 
 any amusement to the " courteous reader," 
 the author will be ready to believe, that 
 they could not have been " better spent." 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Page 
 
 The Monthly Anthology 1 
 
 Observations on Madame de Stael s Corinna 8 
 
 Memoir on Cranberry Sauce 19 
 
 Memoir on Toast 26 
 
 Memoir on the Purring of Cats 36 
 
 A Dissertation upon Things in General 43 
 
 The North American Review 52 
 
 On Geological Systems 61 
 
 Memoir on the Antiquity of the United States 66 
 
 Miseries of Human Life 82 
 
 Epigram 84 
 
 On Hearing of the Death of a Friend . 85 
 
 A Letter from a Country Gentleman 88 
 
 Tour to Sandwich 94 
 
 Secret Causes of the American and French Revolutions . 112 
 
 The Prince of the Power of the Air, A Vision 126 
 
 A Ballad 139 
 
THE 
 
 MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY, 
 
 THIS work was begun by Mr. Phinehas Adams, a 
 graduate of Harvard, and who at the time taught a 
 school in Boston. The first number, " under the title 
 of the Monthly Anthology and Boston Review, ed 
 ited by Sylvanus Per se," was published in No 
 vember, 1803. At the end of six months he gave 
 it up to the late Rev. Mr. Emerson, who induced two 
 or three gentlemen to join with him, in the care of 
 the work, and laid the foundation of the Anthology 
 Club. The title was altered with these words, " By 
 a society of gentlemen," and the change was mark 
 ed by the numbers being printed in double columns ; 
 but after two or three years the double columns were 
 given up, which however well adapted for the 
 short articles of a magazine, were found inconve 
 nient for Reviews of books, if extended beyond a 
 mere notice. 
 
 The club was regularly organized, and governed 
 by certain rules ; the number of resident members 
 1 
 
2 THE MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY. 
 
 varied from seven or eight to fifteen or sixteen ; there 
 were a few honorary members in other towns and in 
 other states, who occasionally contributed to its pages. 
 It was one of the rules, that every member should 
 write for the work : the contributions were in some 
 cases voluntary, in others were assigned by vote, which 
 was the general practice in regard to Reviews. But in 
 labour of this kind, it was found more difficult than in 
 any other, to produce regularity. A few of the mem 
 bers I believe never wrote any thing, and the quantity 
 produced by others varied very considerably. They 
 received frequent aid from many correspondents, 
 some of whom wrote more pages than several of 
 the members. No particular responsibility devolv 
 ed on any one as editor, because nothing was pub* 
 lished without the consent of the society. The care 
 of the manuscripts, arranging them for the press, re 
 vising proofs, necessarily rested with one individual, 
 who, according to the articles of the club, was called 
 the editor. The gentleman who at one period took 
 this trouble, finding himself obnoxious to a good deal 
 of remark as editor, declined filling the office any 
 longer. To get over this difficulty an amendment of 
 the constitution was adopted ; " the duties of the 
 editor should be discharged by a standing commit 
 tee, that this committee should consist of one, and 
 that Mr. , [the actual editor] should be this com 
 mittee." A kind of amendment not wholly unlike 
 some that have been made in the constitutions of 
 larger communities. 
 
 The following gentlemen were members of the 
 club, some of them for a short time only, the rest 
 
THE MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY. 3 
 
 during the greater part of its existence. An asterisk 
 is prefixed to the names of those who are deceased. 
 Rev. Drs. Gardiner, Kirkland, *M Kean, Rev. Messrs. 
 *Emerson, *Buckminster, *S. C. Thacher and Tuck- 
 erman, Doctors Jackson, Warren, Gorham and Bige- 
 low, Messrs. W. S. Shaw, P. Thacher, W. Tudor, 
 *A. M. Walter, E. J. Dana, Wm. Wells, R. H. Gar 
 diner, B. Welles, J. Savage, *J. Feild, Professor 
 Willard, *Winthrop Sargent, J. Stickney, Alexander 
 II. Everett, J. Head, Jr. George Ticknor. 
 
 The club met once a week in the evening, and af 
 ter deciding on the manuscripts that were offered, 
 partook of a plain supper, and enjoyed the full plea 
 sure of literary chat. Some of these evenings were 
 truly the nodes atticce : the recollection of which is. 
 alas, saddened by regret that so many of those who 
 contributed essentially to their delight, have been 
 prematurely taken away from their friends and their 
 country. The meetings were often prolonged 
 into the middle watch, and the member who went 
 too soon was a subject of pity. It is observed in the 
 
 records of one evening, " Mr. , as usual went 
 
 away early, on which Mr. remarked that he 
 
 was like Mercutio, always killed in the second act. 
 The concluding minutes of another evening are ; 
 i4 The Society broke up (credite posteri /) before 
 eleven o clock." The pleasures of conversation 
 were the prevailing motive for attending the weekly 
 meetings, business was soon transacted, and a task 
 unfulfilled had no severer punishment to dread than 
 a little scolding from the committee for publication. 
 The pages of the Anthology were very unequal, but 
 
4 THE MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY. 
 
 there were many of superior merit, and a selection 
 might be extracted from it, that would form a vol 
 ume of miscellanies well worthy of separate preser 
 vation. 
 
 The work undoubtedly rendered service to out 
 literature, and aided the diffusion of good taste in the 
 community. It was one of the first efforts of regu 
 lar criticism on American books, and it suffered few 
 productions of the day to escape its notice. Some 
 repining arid dissatisfaction arose amongst some of 
 the authors who were the subjects of remark, but 
 the public at large generally assented to the princi 
 ples and decisions of the critics. Circumstances of 
 various kinds growing out of the publication produc 
 ed a correspondence with several individuals ; all of 
 which, together with the regular records of the club 
 have been preserved, and will at a future day, be 
 deposited among the papers of the Historical Society. 
 If in the next century some collector of literary an 
 ecdotes should examine these documents, he will find 
 materials connected with the early state of American 
 literature which may then be interesting. 
 
 Whatever may have been the merit of the An 
 thology, its authors would have been sadly disap 
 pointed if they had looked for any other advantages 
 to be derived from it than an occasional smile from 
 the public, the amusement of their task, and the 
 pleasure of their social meetings. The publication 
 never gave enough to pay the moderate expense of 
 their suppers, and through their whole career they 
 wrote, and paid for the pleasure of writing. Occa 
 sionally a promise was held out, that the proceeds 
 
THE MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY. 5 
 
 of the work would soon enable them to proceed 
 without assessments, but the observance never came. 
 The printers were changed several times, and when 
 ever they paid any thing, it was an omen of ill 
 luck to them. No one felt a particular interest from 
 any expectation of either fame or profit to extend 
 the circulation of the work, and therefore it cannot 
 be compared in this respect with other undertakings, 
 where these impulses may be felt. Yet it serves to 
 furnish an instance in addition to so many others, 
 to warn those persons who engage in literary la 
 bour with any view to direct profit, that they will be 
 certainly disappointed, and if the pleasure of the em 
 ployment, and the satisfaction of doing the state some 
 good will not suffice, they had better never engage 
 in the pursuit, for they will be ready to say at last, that 
 to write, in the words of Spencer on a different sub 
 ject, is 
 
 To lose good days that might be better spent, 
 To waste long nights in pensive discontent. 
 
 The most important and lasting benefit of the An 
 thology, will be that noble institution the Boston Athe 
 naeum, which originated in this society. It was first 
 intended to form a Reading Room and Library, to be 
 called the Anthology Reading Room. This plan was 
 proposed by Mr. Shaw, who afterwards followed up 
 the subject very zealously, and has since devoted so 
 much of his time and attention to the growth and sup 
 port of the Athenaeum, which now contains one of the 
 most valuable and extensive libraries in the country. 
 When it was talked about in the club, several of the 
 1* 
 
6 THE MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY. 
 
 members volunteered at once, a gift of books, and 
 a considerable number of volumes were -thus imme 
 diately obtained. It is but justice to mention, that 
 in the beginning of this business the Rev. Dr. 
 Gardiner contributed much to its success, both by 
 his decided opinion in its favour, and by his lib 
 eral present of books. When the plan was after 
 wards extended, and many public spirited indivi 
 duals joined in a subscription, that made the estab 
 lishment at once solid and respectable, the members 
 of the Anthology, in consequence of the books they 
 contributed and various periodical works which were 
 received in exchange for their journal, were admit 
 ted to a life-right in the institution ; several of the 
 members became besides proprietors by subscription. 
 Some merit is due to them, for their agency in bring 
 ing forward this measure, and as this excellent insti 
 tution flourishes, it will serve to perpetuate the me 
 mory of the Anthology Club. 
 
 P. S. The following list contains the titles of all the 
 magazines that have been published in Massachusetts. 
 They are placed in the order of their dates, the first 
 part containing those which have been discontinued. 
 
 American Magazine & Historical Chronicle, 3 vols. 1740 to 1743. 
 
 Royal American Magazine, 1 vol. 1774. 
 
 Boston Magazine, .... 1 vol. 1784. 
 
 Massachusetts Magazine, 8 vols. 1789 to 1796. 
 
 Columbian Phenix and Boston Review, 1 vol. 1800. 
 
 New-England Quarterly Magazine, - 1 vol. 1802. 
 
 Monthly Anthology, ... 10 vols. 1803 to 1811. 
 
 Literary Miscellany, .... 2 vols. 1805 & 1806. 
 
THE MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY. 7 
 
 Emerald or Miscellany of Literature, 2 vols. 1806 to 1808 
 
 Ordeal, vol. 1800. 
 
 Something, by Nemo Nobody, - - vol. 1809. 
 Omnium Gatherum, - vol. 1810. 
 
 Cabinet & Repository of Polite Literature, vol. 1811. 
 General Repository and Review, - vols. 1812 to 1813. 
 
 Panoplist, (Calvinistic) monthly, - - 28 vols. 1806 to 1820. 
 
 The following are still published : 
 
 New England Medical Journal, quarterly, 1812. 
 
 North American Review, do. 1815. 
 
 Athenseum, (selections from Foreign Magazines) 
 
 twice a month, 1816. 
 Massachusetts Agricultural Repository and 
 
 Journal, 1816. 
 
 The Christian Disciple, (Unitarian) every two months, 
 The Gospel Advocate (Episcopalian) monthly. 
 American Baptist Magazine, monthly. 
 The Missionary Herald, monthly. 
 
 This last is a continuation of the Panoplist, but con 
 taining only the details that relate to Missions, which 
 have now become so numerous and important than 
 their concerns furnish matter enough to fill a month 
 ly magazine. 
 
 In addition to these periodical works, there are 
 publications by three learned societies : 
 
 1. The " American Academy" has printed four 
 volumes 4to, and completes a volume in two parts in 
 about four or five years. 
 
 2. The " Historical Society" has now in press its 
 nineteenth volume, the form is octavo. 
 
 3. The " Antiquarian Society" has published its 
 first volume in octavo. 
 
OBSERVATIONS ON 
 
 MADAME DE STAEL S CORINNA. 
 
 Frera the Anthology, September, 1308. 
 
 THE name of Madame de Stael has long been fa 
 miliar in French Literature. Two ladies of this name 
 rank high among their female writers. The present 
 Madame de Stael Holstein has published several 
 works, the last of which, Corinna, will do more for 
 her glory than all the others. Perhaps it may not 
 be amiss to give some account of the author, before 
 reflecting upon her work. 
 
 She is the daughter of the late M. Necker, who 
 played so conspicuous a part at the commencement 
 of the French Revolution ; and the widow of the 
 late Baron de Stael Holstein, who was ambassador 
 from the King of Sweden during the time of the 
 Directory. Her children are brought up in Switzer 
 land, the country of her family; and it is one of the 
 reproaches of her enemies, that she has always kept 
 them at a distance from herself. She is not hand- 
 
OBSERVATIONS ON CORINNA. 9 
 
 some in the face, but her person is fine, above the 
 middle size. A judgment of her character, formed 
 from her works, would be as erroneous, in some re 
 spects, as that of the lady, who described Thomson 
 from reading the Seasons. She is always writing 
 about melancholy, and admiring the gloomy, pro 
 found impressions, that abound in the poetry and cha 
 racter of the English and northern nations ; yet Ma 
 dame de Stael is miserable out of Paris; and would 
 be as. wretched as Milo was at Marseilles, as Seneca 
 in Corsica, or Ovid on the Bosphorus. Her great 
 delight is to be amid a circle of wits in a saloon at 
 Paris. She is gay, laughing, and fond of animated 
 conversation and lively repartee, in which she always 
 takes a principal part, and generally engages all the 
 men in her conversation, paying very little attention 
 to her own sex, and is therefore not a great favour 
 ite with them. 
 
 From her rank, her connexions, her talents, her 
 independent fortune, and active character, she has 
 always been a remarkable personage in society, and 
 frequently meddled in political intrigues. She 
 used to be very intimate with Talleyrand, and often 
 teazed this famous statesman and wit. She inquired 
 of him one day, which he would save, if he should 
 see her and Madame Grand, now his wife, fallen into 
 the water; he answered, " My dear madame, you 
 know how to swim." 
 
 At the period of Bonaparte s usurpation she had 
 sufficient influence to be very troublesome to him in 
 the commencement of his reign, and when he was 
 obliged to be gradual in his usurpation of povTer- 
 
10 OBSERVATIONS ON CORINNA. 
 
 In the organization of the new temporary govern 
 ment she out manoeuvred the future emperor, and 
 placed Benjamin Constant in one of the assemblies, 
 in spite of his efforts to the contrary. When he had 
 acquired stability, he did not forget Madame de Stael, 
 but sent Talleyrand to tell her she must leave Paris, 
 and go to Switzerland. It was rather an awkward 
 commission, but he executed it with address. He 
 called on her, and after a few compliments told her, 
 " I hear, madame, you are going to take a jour 
 ney." " O no, it is a mistake, I have not the least 
 intention of doing it." " Pardon me, I heard you 
 were going to Switzerland." " I have no such pro 
 ject I assure you." " I have been told so, by the best 
 authority, and that you would leave Paris in three 
 days." The hint was taken. After some period 
 had elapsed, she returned to Paris, and, about the 
 epoch of General Moreau s banishment, she was ex 
 iled again, and ordered not to come within ten leagues 
 of Paris, because at her house a numerous circle of 
 men of talents and influence assembled, who were 
 disaffected to the government. This she evaded two 
 or three times, which was discovered by the police, 
 and she was then banished to Switzerland. She 
 made a tour in that country the summer of last year 
 in company with her friend, the beautiful Madame 
 Recamier, and the last winter they passed at Vi 
 enna. 
 
 The regions of science and literature have been so 
 generally explored, that many of those, who have 
 not been able to discover any new matter, have been 
 contented with the humbler occupation of varying- 
 
OBSERVATIONS ON CORINNA. 11 
 
 the manner of what has been already described. 
 Several of the sciences have been divested of their 
 harsh and technical appearance, and taught by tricks 
 and experiments, by rhymes and riddles, as our 
 quacks administer their medicines in the guise of 
 sugar-plums. History and Romance, which have often 
 been two names for the same thing, are becoming so 
 blended, that, possibly, the notions of posterity about 
 the two or three last centuries will be very similar 
 to those we have of the expedition of the Argonauts. 
 Fifty years ago we were diverted with " Roman- 
 tick Histories," and now we are treated with " His 
 torical Romances." If our descendants should be 
 come so enervated and effeminate by this exuber 
 ance of the press, as to prefer amusement to fact, 
 many of our sprightly romances will be read, when 
 many of our dull histories will be forgotten. 
 
 Corinna is a novel, engrafted on a journey and des 
 cription of Italy, and the licentious fashion of blend 
 ing fancy and reality is more innocent and justifiable 
 in this kind of work than in any other. Of the ad 
 vantages, which it possesses, Madame de Stael has 
 availed herself in the ablest manner. The descrip 
 tion of the interesting and magnificent objects of 
 Rome, the disquisitions on Italian society, and the 
 progress of the novel, are most ingeniously mingled, 
 and by being alternately brought forward, prevent 
 the most fastidious reader from tiring. Mrs. Rad- 
 cliffe s romances are celebrated for their beautiful 
 descriptions, which loose a great part of their interest 
 not only from being too often repeated, but because 
 they are only pleasing pictures of the writers imagi- 
 
12 OBSERVATIONS ON CORINNA. 
 
 nation, composed perhaps from studies of landscape, 
 but vague and transitory as the shadows of summer 
 clouds. Here Madame de Stael possesses a striking 
 advantage ; for, not confined like a writer of travels, 
 to mere journalizing and description, a selection suf 
 fices for her purpose, and the canvas of her work is 
 filled, not with 
 
 The Alps, the Appenines, and River Po, 
 
 but with the most interesting objects of ancient and 
 
 modern Italy. 
 
 The persons of the novel are few in number, but 
 
 these few are sketched with that delicate and mi 
 nute observation of character, which belongs to her 
 sex ; while the contrasts arising from different tem 
 pers and education, and the effects of the passions, 
 are developed with all the force and skill produced by 
 a profound knowledge of the human heart. Count 
 d Erfeuil is a gay, well bred, distinguished French 
 man, pourtrayed with the most aggravating accura 
 cy : perhaps the fidelity and spirit of this portrait 
 is better sustained than any other in the book. Mr. 
 Edgermond, the relation of Lord Nelvill, who makes 
 his appearance at Rome, is delineated so generally, 
 that he represents a species, yet so simply and natu 
 rally, that he affects us like a miniature among a col 
 lection of historical pictures. Oswald possesses too 
 many noble qualities to suffer us to despise him ; but 
 when a being, like Corinna, is sacrificed to morbid 
 sensibility and imaginary duties, we pity the victim 
 too much to respect the sacrifices Corinna is the 
 fair monster of the work : she is a character out of 
 
OBSERVATIONS ON COR1NNA. 13 
 
 wature ; so at least she will be generally, and so she 
 had better be considered : yet she has enough of hu 
 manity in her composition, a sufficient portion of the 
 faculty of inspiring and suffering emotion, to excite, 
 even in the generality of readers, an interest beyond 
 that of a mere heroine of romance. 
 
 The incidents are many of them striking and novel ; 
 and in the present state of literature, this is one of 
 the rarest kinds of merit. Oswald saving the mad 
 men from the hospital in flames at Ancona, the moon 
 light scene at the fountain of Trevi, and Corinna on 
 the road from Naples to Portici, will support Mad 
 ame de Stael s claim to this praise. The style is elo 
 quent ; and the thoughts are many of them singu 
 larly just, beautiful and original. 
 
 The intimate knowledge which is discovered of 
 the character of different nations, is a remarkable 
 feature of this work ; and it is hard to say which is 
 delineated most accurately, the French, the Italian, 
 or the English. The Count cPErfeuil tells Oswald, 
 " je n aime en fait de nation, que les Anglais et 
 les Francais ; il faut etre iiers comme eux, ou bril- 
 lans comme nous, tout le reste n est que de 1 imita- 
 tion." It is easy to see, which has the superiority 
 in the eyes of the author. Neither Dr. Moore, nor 
 M. Dupaty has shewn more acquaintance with the 
 Italian character ; the dialogue allows her the means 
 of attacking it with the ebullitions of French vanity, 
 and the moroseness of English pride ; which is an 
 swered by Corinna only with patient submission and 
 mild regret. It appears to have been one of the 
 principal objects of the writer, to shew, that the 
 2 
 
14 OBSERVATIONS ON CORINNA. 
 
 Italians have been " more sinned against than sin 
 ning ;" to convert the contempt of the world into 
 pity, and to excite a belief, that men, whose ances 
 tors once governed the universe, who have furnish 
 ed learning and the arts with some of their brightest 
 ornaments, are capable of being elevated from their 
 present degraded situation, and assuming a conspicu 
 ous rank in the world. 
 
 The work is not without its faults; and those, who 
 are fonder of the chaff than the grain, may select 
 them. But there is one obliquity of sentiment, which 
 becomes the more remarkable, as it exercises a fatal 
 influence over the conduct of her hero. Madame de 
 Stael was extremely fond of her father, and has at 
 tempted in a book she published, containing his pos 
 thumous works, to sublimate this affection into a 
 mysterious, metaphysical passion, which exposed her 
 to severe reprehension from the French critics. If 
 she had persuaded the world in this respect, she 
 could only acquire credence for singularity ; yet, by 
 a kind of perversity, she has made this indefensible 
 principle a governing motive in her new work. Pe 
 culiar circumstances may modify the affections unna 
 turally in a few individuals : will Madame de Stael 
 make an unfortunate exception, a general rule ? Is af 
 fection to a mother so subordinate, that la perte cTvn 
 pere, is, la plus intime de toutes les douleurs ? Is af 
 fection for a husband, or for our offspring, weaker 
 than this? Ardent and melancholy minds are apt to 
 run into exaggeration, but this, if it were realized, 
 would recal the fable of Saturn devouring his chil 
 dren. 
 
OBSERVATIONS ON CORINNA. 15 
 
 To expiate this censure of Madame de Stael, it 
 will be a grateful task to attempt her defence, where 
 she has been blamed unjustly. It has been said,* 
 that her inimitable description of the circle in North 
 umberland has a tendency to discourage the gentle 
 virtues of private, and to ridicule the simplicity of 
 domestic life, while the brilliant Corinna will dazzle 
 and allure. Alas 1 poor Corinna ! did ever moral 
 of any history stare the reader more fully in the 
 face ? Is it not as apparent, as those heaped up at the 
 end of fables, labelled and dried for the use of 
 school-boys ? Does not the luckless heroine lament, 
 that she is deprived of the charms of domestic life, 
 which she was formed to enjoy ; and does she not 
 fall a victim to one of these admirers of still life ? 
 The author gives a representation, which is neither 
 harsh nor extravagant, of the imbecile taciturnity, 
 the morose, awkward pride, and the petrifying pow 
 er of this Northumberland, tea-drinking society, 
 which occasions an outcry among the parlies con 
 cerned. What will these moralists say to the follow 
 ing lines of Cowper, which ought to be engraven on 
 the teapot of every similar coterie ! 
 
 True modesty is a discerning grace. 
 
 And only blushes in the proper place ; 
 
 But counterfeit is blind, and skulks through leai. 
 
 Where tis a shame to be asham d to appear : 
 
 Humility the parent of the first, 
 
 The last by vanity produc cl and nurs d. 
 
 The circle form d, we sit in silent state, 
 
 Like figures drawn upon a dial plate ; 
 
 Yes ma am, and no ma am, utter d softly, show 
 
 Every five minutes, how the minutes go. 
 
 * See Edinburgh Review. 
 
16 OBSERVATIONS ON COR1NNA. 
 
 The improvisations of Corinna will be less admired 
 than any other part of the work. That, which she 
 makes at the capital, is eloquent, and would he beau 
 tiful in Italian verse, but is too florid for prose. The 
 last, which is recited at Florence, must be excepted ; 
 it is affecting and sublime. He, who can read it 
 without emotion, would do well never to leave the 
 bounds of demonstration to wander among the fields 
 of literature. If any young man reads it, and every 
 pulse does not vibrate and every nerve thrill, let 
 him not hesitate in the choice of a profession : let 
 him not be a clergyman, he would have to preach 
 the sublime doctrines of Christianity, to sustain weak 
 ness, and console affliction : let him not study the law, 
 he might be called upon to oppose powerful injustice, 
 or to defend the devoted victim against popular cla 
 mour and factious persecution : lot him not be a 
 physician, he may be expected to soothe the agony 
 of wounded affection, to sympathize with the wretch 
 ed, when his art has been ineffectual : no, let 
 him hoard dollars and accumulate interest; his 
 progress will be certain nay, (the advice is perfect 
 ly disinterested) he will do well to bring up his chil 
 dren in the same manner. 
 
 This article has become too extended to admit of 
 extracting passages from the work, to illustrate the 
 opinions here advanced. One only must be indulg 
 ed, for the sake of contrasting Madame de Stael 
 with Kotzebue. The latter published in 1806, 
 Travels in Italy, in four volumes, which are princi 
 pally remarkable for their stale and virulent abuse 
 of religion. The flattest jests and most scurrilous 
 
OBSERVATIONS ON CORIKNA. IT 
 
 remarks abound in every chapter ; and what would 
 be ridiculous, if it was not odious, is that he seems 
 to have just awakened, and made a Quixotic expe 
 dition to retail forgotten, exploded abuse, which in 
 the sixteenth century might have possessed the 
 merit of boldness, but now is only insipid and cow 
 ardly. The Pope and the Catholics are shewn no 
 mercy. When the Lion was confined to his den 
 through age and infirmity, the Ass came and kicked 
 him. The following sentence contains the reflect- 
 tions of Kotzebue on the illuminated cross, which 
 is suspended from the dome of St. Peter s on 
 Good Friday Evening. " Le Vendredi Saint on sus- 
 u pend dans la Coupole une croix enorme, illuminee 
 ; par trois cents lampes, ce qui doit faire line fort 
 " jolie decoration." Compare this w T ith the descrip 
 tion and reflections of Madame de Stael on the same 
 subject. The whole chapter, which is the fourth 
 in the tenth book, is very interesting ; but a single 
 paragraph only will be taken, the first sentence of 
 which is occupied by the same object with the one 
 quoted from Kotzebue. 
 
 Corinne suivit la procession qui se rendait dans le temple dr 
 Saint Pierre, quin est alors eclaire que par une croix illuminee . 
 ce signe de douleur seul resplendissant dans 1 auguste obscurite 
 de cet immense edifice, est la plus belle image du Christianisme 
 au milieu des tenebres de la vie. Une lumiere pale et lointainc 
 se projette sur les statues qui decorent lestombeaux. Les vivans 
 qu on apercoit en foule sous ces voutes semblent des pygmees en 
 eomparaison des images des morts. II y a autour de la croix UK. 
 espace eclaire par elle, ou se prosternent le Pape vetu de blanc, 
 et tons les Cardinaux ranges derriere lui. Us restent la pres 
 2* 
 
19 OBSERVATIONS ON CORINNA. 
 
 d une demi heure dans le plus profond silence, et il est irnposr 
 sible de n etre pas emu par ce spectacle. On ne sail pas ce 
 qiTils demandent, on n entend pas leurs secrets gemissemens ; 
 mais ils sont vieux, ils nous devancent dans la route de la tombe : 
 quand nous passerons a notre tour dans ce terrible avantgarde, 
 Dieu nous fera-t il la grace d ennoblir assez la vieillesse, pour 
 que le declin de la vie soit les premiers jours de 1 immortalite ! 
 
 Let the reader of the most ardent conception re 
 flect a while upon this picture : the mystery, which 
 is the most affecting and tremendous, the most awful 
 and sublime, the consummation indeed of all the 
 others of the Christian faith, the populace and no 
 bility of Rome, the whole hierarchy of the church 
 with their spiritual Father at their head, are kneel 
 ing in silent and passionate devotion ; the only light, 
 which trembles on the outlines of this immense and 
 august congregation, on the statues of saints, and the 
 tombs of departed sovereigns, emanates from the il 
 luminated type of the sacrifice they are celebrating : 
 let him consider the lively and intimate belief of this 
 assembly, that the time is night, the place, the 
 vast Basilick of St. Peters : he may loose the reins 
 of his imagination, it will never outstrip the effect 
 such a scene would produce. 
 
MEMOIR ON 
 
 CRANBERRY SAUCE. 
 
 From the Anthology, October, 1808. 
 
 GENTLEMEN, 
 
 IT is well known, that the French government 
 sent many missionaries, in the early part of the re 
 volution, to different countries for different purpo 
 ses : some of these were diplomatic and consular 
 agents, openly accredited and acknowledged ; others 
 were scavans, who travelled as private individuals, 
 but who furnished memoirs and information on per 
 sons and things, which have aided that government 
 in their intercourse with foreign nations. Many 
 visited the United States, and some of their writings 
 have been published ; those of Talleyrand, Volney, 
 &c. are familiar to the public The singular felicity, 
 which the French writers possess, of furnishing a 
 memoir on every subject, has often been remarked 
 and envied, and is exemplified in the one, I now of 
 fer for your miscellany. It has never been publish- 
 
20 MEMOIR ON CRANBERRY SAUCE. 
 
 in the United States. Some persons may remark an 
 anachronism, for which I do not pretend to account ; 
 in speaking of the lobster, the author cites the re 
 gulation of the Board of Health, to prevent their 
 being eaten in the summer months, which, it is be 
 lieved, is posterior to the period, at which the wri 
 ter visited this country, but which may possibly have 
 been inserted from subsequent information. I hope 
 indulgence will be granted for any French idioms, 
 that may appear in the translation, as it is a kind of 
 labour, of which I am not very fond, and to which I 
 am very little accustomed. 
 Yours, &c. 
 
 Memoir on the consumption of Cranberry Sauce, by the 
 
 Americans., addressed to the Citizen , member 
 
 of the National Institute, by the Citizen , re 
 siding at Boston. 
 
 NOTHING excites the sensibility of a Frenchman 
 more strongly, on his first landing in the United 
 States, than the raw and simple state of their culina 
 ry preparations. If the supposition, which has been 
 made by some philosophers, be not too fanciful, that 
 the progress of a nation in civilization and refinement 
 may be ascertained by the degree of skill they have 
 attained in cooking, this infant nation are still in the 
 most barbarous situation. A general consideration 
 
 
MEMOIR ON CRANBERRY SAUCE. 21 
 
 f this subject cannot enter into the present memoir ; 
 but some notion may be formed of their rude state, 
 when it is known, that soups, so common in France, 
 are but little used, and that they substitute for them, 
 a composition, called a pudding, made of flour, suet, 
 dried grapes, eggs, milk, spices, and other hetero 
 geneous materials, which, when served upon the 
 table, is a real phenomenon, for it is commonly as 
 serted, that its specific gravity is greater than that 
 of lead. Our rich nutritious sauces are almost un 
 known ; and, as a proof of the early corruption and 
 degeneracy of this nation, many of the country peo 
 ple have bestowed this name* upon vegetables, 
 which they eat in the most unprepared state, boiled 
 and soaked in hot water. But the most universal 
 dish, which obtains equally at the tables of the rich 
 and poor, is the substance which forms the subject 
 of this memoir. 
 
 Cranberry Sauce, vulgarly called cramberry sauce, 
 from the voracious manner in which they eat it,| is 
 made from a berry, produced by a plant, called by 
 us, Jlirelle des marais ; the Vaccinium Hispidulum of 
 Linnaeus, a plant of the 8th order, first class, Octan- 
 dria Monogynia : it grows in meadows filled with 
 moss, on a slender, bending stalk, covered with silky 
 scales, whose leaves are oval, rather oblong, and 
 
 * The reproach here extended to the nation, is too general ; 
 the corruption alluded to is confined to some parts of New En 
 gland. Trans. 
 
 t This is a ludicrous mistake, but excusable in a foreigner 
 not intimately acquainted with the language. Tram. 
 
22 MEMOIR ON CRANBERRY SAUCE. 
 
 shining : the berries are large, red, and of a plea 
 sant acid taste. The fruit is ripened by the early 
 frosts in the autumn, but is gathered through the 
 winter, and in the spring after the ice dissolves, and 
 even then is the most esteemed. 
 
 Preparing them for the table is very easily done ; 
 the berries are stewed slowly with nearly their 
 weight of sugar for about an hour, and served on 
 the table cold : the sugar made use of differs in qual 
 ity according to the wealth of those by whom the 
 sauce, is used. It is eaten with almost every species 
 of roasted meat, particularly the white meats, tur- 
 kies, partridges, &,c. some even eat it with boiled 
 fish, and I knew one person, otherwise a very worthy 
 man, who eat it with lobsters, for supper ! The men 
 tion of this shell fish, which is taken in great abun 
 dance on the neighbouring coasts, induces me, 
 though rather foreign to the subject of this pa 
 per, to relate a striking instance of the narrow, sel 
 fish policy of the institutions of this people. During 
 the three summer months, the Board of Health pro 
 hibit the sale of lobsters in this city ; but it is freely 
 permitted in Roxbury, the southern suburb of Bos 
 ton, inhabited principally by gardeners, butchers, and 
 curriers ; and the inhabitants of this quarter are 
 abandoned to the ill consequences arising from this 
 practice.* 
 
 * This furnishes an instance of the rashness with which for 
 eigners, particularly those from despotic countries judge of otir 
 institutions. Every person could have told the author, that the 
 Board of Health is confined to the limits of Boston, which do 
 not include Roxburv. Trans. 
 
MEMOIR ON CRANBERRY SAUCE. 23 
 
 One individual informed me, that the rosy com 
 plexion of their women had been attributed to their 
 consumption of this article. Though this opinion 
 seemed extravagant, I resolved to try the truth of 
 it, because every argument in its favour should be 
 destroyed if possible. I therefore prevailed upon a 
 servant girl, about fourteen years of age, to eat no 
 thing else ; partly by coaxing and partly by menaces, 
 I confined her to this food for a week ; at the end of 
 which she grew pale and exhibited feverish symp 
 toms, which is sufficient to prove the absurdity of 
 the supposition. I could pursue the experiment no 
 further, as she threatened to run away, and the most 
 senseless clamour would have ensued, if any ill con 
 sequences should have happened to her. For so 
 cold and backward are this people, that they would 
 not sacrifice the life of one individual, to ascertain 
 the most brilliant philosophical truth ; and that spirit, 
 which has animated Frenchmen, defying every ob 
 stacle, and despising every danger, to the sacrifice of 
 thousands of the human race, to propagate the ad 
 vantages of splendid discoveries, where antiquated 
 abuses formerly reigned, is almost entirely unknown 
 among them. 
 
 The important object of impelling their sensibili 
 ties to sympathize with ours, which must be pre 
 paratory to that powerful influence, which it is so 
 strong an object with the government to attain, will 
 be greatly aided by an intimate approximation of the 
 common habits and customs of life. None have a 
 greater influence than the pleasures of the table, to 
 which this gross people are remarkably addicted. 
 
24 MEMOIR ON CRANBERRY SAUCE. 
 
 But Frenchmen cannot partake of these pleasures, 
 and thus preserve a desirable intimacy, without a ra 
 dical change in their art of cooking : even French 
 enthusiasm becomes chilled in the daily encounter of 
 huge pieces of half boiled meat, clammy puddings, 
 and ill-concocted hashes, rendered palatable to the 
 natives by a profuse addition of this most villainous 
 sauce. From the most accurate observations, I am 
 convinced, that French cookery, to which they gen 
 erally have a dislike, will never be effectually intro 
 duced among them, till the preparation, treated of 
 in this memoir, shall be no longer used ; because, 
 from its universal use, possessing a mixture of sweet 
 ness and acidity, it stimulates their appetite, and pre 
 vents them from perceiving the insipidity and stale- 
 ness of their dishes, and makes them insensible to 
 the advantages of our various rich sauces. Perhaps 
 it would do no harm to leave them the use of this 
 fruit in their pastry, though in this case, a recurrence 
 to ancient habits would always be a subject of ap 
 prehension. The ommelettes aux confitures and the 
 jambons sucres might also be introduced advanta 
 geously, which, by flattering the national taste for 
 sweet things, would help to soften their prejudices. 
 The difficulty attendant on the achievement of this 
 reformation cannot be concealed, the custom is uni 
 versal. Dining once with one of the cabinet minis 
 ters, at the seat of government, there were four soup 
 plates of this article, at the four corners of the table, 
 which is a strong proof that this practice is carried 
 on by persons even in the most exalted stations, 
 though he was from that portion of the United States, 
 
MEMOIR ON CRANBERRY SAUCE. 25 
 
 where the habit is most inveterate. It must first be 
 discountenanced in the most fashionable circles, as it 
 is a trait in the character of this nation, servilely to 
 follow fashion, and though some repugnance would 
 be shown at first, in what affected them so intimate 
 ly 5 perseverance would ensure success. 
 
 It might be suggested further to their political 
 economists, that, by disuse of this fruit, a large quan 
 tity of meadows, now useless, might be reclaimed 
 and added to their national resources : that a very 
 considerable addition of wholesome food would be 
 thus procured for their horses and cattle, that is now- 
 lost by suffering the growth of this pernicious berry, 
 which, in its preparation, requires such a quantity of 
 sugar, as greatly to increase their humiliating de 
 pendency on the colonies of foreign nations.* 
 
 These and other arguments might be urged to de 
 stroy a practice, which I am intimately pursuaded, it 
 is the immediate interest of the French government 
 to have exterminated. 
 
 *The acquisition of Louisiana weakens the force of this ar 
 gument. Trans. 
 
MEM01K 
 
 ON TOAST. 
 
 From the Anthology, February, 1809. 
 
 GENTLEMEN, 
 
 As you published in one of your numbers a trans 
 lation of a French Memoir, " on the consumption of 
 Cranberry Sauce ;" it brought to my mind a collec 
 tion of very singular memoirs in my possession. I 
 have selected one or two of them, that are among 
 the shortest, which, if you think proper, may be in 
 serted in your miscellany. From the subjects and 
 the manner in which they are treated I should pre 
 sume, they were originally intended for publication 
 in some philosophical transactions, but whether in our 
 own or any other country, I have not been able to 
 determine. 
 
 It does not become me, to stipulate on what con 
 ditions they shall be published ; but I may express a 
 wish, that they should not be put under the head of 
 
MEMOIR ON TOAST. 27 
 
 ;t Levity ;" because they evidently appear to have 
 cost the unknown philosophical author much labori 
 ous investigation and deep research.* 
 
 A CORRESPONDENT. 
 
 Memoir on the consumption of Toast in the United 
 States ; and its effects on the national character. 
 
 The absolute necessity of food to the very exist 
 ence of animal life has rarely been denied ; but the 
 consequences resulting to the physical and moral 
 system of man from the use of particular articles of 
 food, have never been sufficiently investigated ; and 
 few governments, though they are intrusted with 
 the care of millions of the human race, have ever 
 systematically scrutinized the various tendencies of 
 alimentary substances. The English are a constant 
 example in their personal appearance and actions of 
 a whole people consuming prodigious quantities of 
 beef; and the harmless native of Indostan illustrates 
 the condition of multitudes who live wholly upon 
 rice. The utilities of these researches will be fully 
 appreciated on reflection ; and since some philoso 
 phers have asserted, that feeding a man on raw meat 
 will make him thirst for blood, as certainly as giving 
 him salted substances will make him thirst for wa.- 
 
 * We cannot comply with the request of our correspondent, 
 but we can assure him, that there are many grave productions of 
 philosophers and statesmen of the present day, which we should 
 place in the same department. E. 
 
23 MEMOIR ON TOAST. 
 
 ter ; none but the most indifferent, can be insensible 
 to the direct influences of such investigations.* 
 
 As this subject has never been scientifically treat 
 ed, at least, after the most diligent inquiries, I have 
 not been able to discover any treatise upon it, 1 shall 
 divide it into genera and species, which must facilitate 
 its comprehension. It is possible that some varieties 
 may have escaped me ; but I shall have the humble 
 merit of laying a foundation, on which the ingenui 
 ties of others may hereafter erect a more perfect 
 system. The order of classification which I have 
 adopted, and which has appeared to me the most 
 natural, is founded on the relative simplicities of the 
 process. 
 
 FIRST GENUS. 
 
 DRY TOAST. 
 
 Species Unique. 
 
 I have considered this genus, the only one known 
 in France, as containing no varieties, because, when 
 cut into square pieces to be put into soup, it is only 
 a change in the forms. 
 
 SECOND GENUS. 
 
 BUTTERED TOAST. 
 
 Four Species. 1. Biscuit. 2. Wheaten Bread. 3. 
 Rye and Whcatfen Bread. 4. Rye and Indian Bread. 
 
 * It may be necessary to state to the impatient reader, that 
 we feel gre;tt regret, but no responsibility for the frequent and 
 useless expenditure of the plural number among the author s sub 
 stantives. -En. 
 
MEMOIR OJN TOAST. w 
 
 The preparation of all these varieties is nearly the 
 same. The slices should be cut about one third of 
 an inch in thickness, and the butter in a solid state 
 applied while the toast is warm- 
 
 " THIRD GENUS. 
 
 PRIMARY IMMERSED TOAST. 
 
 Three Species. 1. Biscuit. 2. Wheaten Bread. 
 3. Crackers. All the species of this genus are im 
 mersed in milk or water, after being- cut into slices, 
 and previously to being toasted. This whole genus 
 requiring more delicacy in the operation, is of most 
 infrequent occurrence. Perhaps the second species 
 of this genus, when properly managed, offers the 
 most seductive state, in which this pernicious sub 
 stance ever appears. 
 
 FOURTH GENUS. 
 
 SECONDARY IMMERSED TOAST. 
 
 Four Species. 1. Biscuit. 2. Wheaten Bread. 3. 
 Rye and Wheaten Bread. 4. Rye and Indian Bread. 
 These varieties are plunged, after being toasted, into 
 a warm mixture of melted butter and milk, or melted 
 butter and water. They are by far the most com 
 mon, and prepared the most carelessly ; and are fre 
 quently given to children, because, in this way, the 
 quantity of butter may be greatly diminished. 
 
30 MEMOIR ON TOAST. 
 
 FIFTH GENUS. 
 PRIMARY AND SECONDARY IMMERSED TOAST. 
 
 Species Unique. Crackers. The remarks on the 
 last genus are often true of this, though, when fabri 
 cated with care, it may vie with most of the other 
 varieties. 
 
 In France, only the first genus is ever met with. 
 In England and some other countries in Europe, the 
 first genus, and the second species of the second genus 
 only are known ; but in this country, though the 
 first ge/mn is the most rare, the whole thirteen species 
 are found in great profusion. 
 
 The hints contained in vulgar proverbs, often afford 
 instruction to philosophical inquirers. It is very com 
 monly said, that to cat fryed bread, will make the hair 
 curl, and some fact must have given rise to this sug 
 gestion. Now, this preparation is very similar to 
 toasts. If then so strong an effect is produced by 
 eating bread in an incipient state of carbonization, it 
 is extravagant to suppose, that much more powerful 
 consequences would result from consuming it in a 
 completely carbonized state ? Is it not then open to 
 conjecture, that, in the early ages of the world, 
 gome individuals might, from various accidents, have 
 been obliged to live for a certain period on carboniz 
 ed bread ; which, frizzling their hair, and blacken 
 ing their skins, would have produced that new spe 
 cies of the human race, that has since inhabited the 
 continent of Africa ?* 
 
 * The author appears not to have known, or to have disre 
 garded the opinion of the celebrated Dr. John Hunter, that the 
 negro was the original man, and all the others only varieties 
 from him, degraded or improved. ED. 
 
MEMOIR ON TOAST. 31 
 
 The various species of toasts, before described, 
 compose a principal part of the morning and even 
 ing meals of the whole population; and as it hap 
 pens fromjhe carelessness of the servants, that a 
 good deal of it, by being burnt, is eaten in a car 
 bonized state, its effects on the animal system must 
 be extremely deleterious. 
 
 The chemical analysis of the human body shews, 
 that it is composed of carbon, iron, and hydrogen. 
 It is very probable, that, if the Americans were an 
 alyzed, they would be found to contain a greater pro 
 portion of carbon than the people of other nations. 
 But not having been able to obtain one for this pur 
 pose, 1 cannot verify the conjecture. 
 
 The astonishing indifference for the collection and 
 preservation of interesting facts, so indecently man 
 ifested, and so generally prevalent here, occasions 
 much embarrassment to the physiological inquirer. 
 One effect is remarkable, its desiccative qualities 
 tend to weaken the voice, and injure its powers of 
 modulation. This is shewn in the dry, monotonous 
 manner of public speakers, and still more in singing. 
 The feeble, stifled, and spiritless intonations of both 
 sacred and profane singers, are so remarkable as to 
 .strike every stranger ; and I am convinced five Ital 
 ians would drown the voices of the most numerous 
 choir that could be collected. 
 
 It tends also to give a stiff, dry, crusty manner, 
 which would not exist, if this did not form such a 
 prevailing article of food, I will not call it nourish 
 ment. This is demonstrated by the difference of 
 those Americans who travel in Europe, where, be- 
 
3t MEMOIR ON TOAST. 
 
 ing for some time deprived of this article, they be 
 come much freer from local prejudice, and of more 
 open manners, than those in whom this daily habit 
 has never been interrupted.* An opinion may be 
 formed of the extensive consequences resulting from 
 this practice, when what 1 was told is generally 
 known, but still disregarded. An individual mention 
 ing to another the manner in which he had his toast 
 prepared, and the exact quantity he ate every day, 
 the other made a hasty calculation with a pencil, and 
 found that he had consumed, in the course of his 
 life, one hundred and seventy five cords ! It is a 
 subject of regret to me, that I could not learn the 
 name of the person, because, if he should be a man 
 of prim, precise habits, it would serve to elucidate 
 my theory. 
 
 I he subject would admit of much more ample 
 developements, but I shall conclude with suggesting 
 some of the prominent objections to the practice. 
 Legislative enactments on the subject would be in 
 efficient, if the general feelings and sentiments of 
 an enlightened people could not be called in to their 
 aid. 
 
 1. The abolition of this food would prevent an ig 
 nominious dependence o foreign nations, or a use 
 less diversion of domestic industry, for the supplies 
 of toasting irons, toasting forks, toast racks, &c. &c. 
 
 * It cannot be necessary to remind the reader, that we are 
 not bound to refute, or accede to the conclusions of the au 
 thor. ED. 
 
MEMOIR ON TOAST. 
 
 2. It would diminish the necessities of scorching 
 the skin and spoiling the complexion of many inter 
 esting servant maids. 
 
 3. It would prevent the present destruction of the 
 voice ; which, perhaps, if this practice ceased, would 
 acquire force and mellowness. 
 
 4. It would serve to liberalize the manners, and 
 enlarge the powers of the mind. 
 
 5. It would occlude the possibilities of being mu 
 tated into negroes. 
 
 6. It would operate a great saving of time, and, 
 thus accumulating the national economies, produce 
 a more ample developement of the national en 
 ergies. 
 
 SUPPLEMENT. 
 
 I was unwilling to introduce any thing into the 
 foregoing memoir, which might, by interrupting the 
 continuity of the subject, divert the attention from 
 the train of ratiocination, which, I flatter myself, so 
 unanswerably shows the evil consequences resulting 
 from a pernicious custom. Yet I cannot refrain from 
 adducing further proofs, in reasoning by analogy, of 
 the direct influences of the food we eat, on eur mo 
 ral as well as physical qualities, by some reQections 
 on another substance, which will be perfectly fami 
 liar, and must have occurred to every individual. My 
 ideas will be at once anticipated, when I mention 
 Plum Cake, or its synonym, Wedding Cake ; a com- 
 
34 MEMOIR ON TOAST. 
 
 position, compared with toast, of infrequent occur 
 rence ; but which, being compounded of as many 
 noxious and heterogeneous things as were contained 
 in the Box of Pandora, I would suggest, should in fu 
 ture be called a Pandoroid. 
 
 The sorceresses, in preparing the Pandoroids, use 
 many magical incantations ; 
 
 " Double, double, 
 Toil and trouble ;" 
 
 and then furnish the outside with a meretricious 
 medley, mistaken by the credulous and simple for 
 ornament, but which is in reality a close imitation 
 of the Obi practices of African enchanters, from 
 whom it was borrowed. 
 
 There are thirteen principal ingredients in these 
 compositions, each of which, though harmless, or 
 even nutritious when alone, becomes extremely vi 
 rulent in these combinations. If other proofs of this 
 were wanting, it would be sufficient to consider the 
 difference between those people whose nuptials are 
 celebrated with this inauspicious compound, and those 
 of the poorer classes of the community. These latter, 
 whose weddings are perpetrated with only a little 
 innocent gingerbread, consider marriage merely as 
 a state for getting and rearing progeny. Alas ! how 
 different from those above them. 
 
 As soon as the Pandoroid is devoured (which, from 
 the quantities made, occupies the efforts of months) 
 but sometimes before, its effects are fatally witness 
 ed ! The sugar was only a covering to the carboniz 
 ed surface ; the eating of which discovers itself in 
 
MEMOIR ON TOAST. 35 
 
 the honied terms of " my sweet," and " my dear," 
 that faintly conceal the crusty humour beneath. Then 
 too the brandy, which was amalgamated in the mix 
 ture, shows itself in the unruly spirit of the infuriat 
 ed husband ; while the eggs, which, if the course of 
 nature had not been interrupted, would have produc 
 ed chickens, create in the wife such a disposition to 
 pecking, that her mate often becomes completely 
 henpecked. The citron, too, is at once an emblem 
 and provocative of the green eyed monster, Jealousy ! 
 Let every husband beware how he tastes it. 
 
 To enlarge further would be superfluous, though 
 the subject might be " pursued through more ample 
 illustrations ;" since no one can think lightly of this 
 preparation, by whom it has ever been eaten. 
 
MEMOIR ON 
 
 THE PURRING OF CATS. 
 
 From the Anthology, May, 1809. 
 
 THE great obscurity in which this most interesting 
 faculty of certain animals has been hitherto involved, 
 has, doubtless, arisen from the invincible difficulties 
 which must confound every inquirer in the first outset 
 of his researches into the subject. Penetrated, how 
 ever, with its importance, and disregarding all obsta 
 cles, when the object is to enlighten society, I reso 
 lutely attempted to surmount this difficulty ; and af 
 ter the most patient and laborious investigations, I 
 had the inexpressible felicity of attaining a complete 
 insight into this mysterious habit ; and it would be 
 selfish in me nQW to regret the time and exertions I 
 have employed in prosecuting to a complete devel- 
 opement this hitherto almost unassayed, and most 
 intricate inquiry. 
 
 The novelty as well as the importance of the sub 
 ject, and the great variety of interesting facts, which 
 have occurred in the course of my meditations on 
 the economies of cats, will induce me to prepare a 
 
ON THE PURRING OF CATS. 37 
 
 very elaborate memoir, in which the gradual pro 
 gress and successful termination of my labours will 
 be minutely detailed, and many interesting anecdotes 
 recorded for the satisfaction of the admirers of the 
 feline species. But in the mean time I shall, in the 
 most concise manner possible, and without any pre 
 tensions to ornament of style, state the points most 
 worthy of notice, and an explanation of the manner 
 in which this peculiar sound is produced ; and this 
 will give some notions about the manner in which I 
 have conducted the examination. 
 
 1. Very important conclusions maybe drawn from 
 the manner in which this operation is expressed in 
 different languages ; and the facts resulting from it 
 are very intimately connected with the philosophical 
 history of nations. Lest it should savour however 
 of pedantry, and the affectation of too great a dis 
 play of learning, I shall not here inquire into the 
 terms employed in the ancient and modern oriental 
 languages, the indigenous tongues of America, the 
 Russian, Turkish, &c. &c. but confine myself at pre 
 sent to the Latin, the Portuguese, Italian, Spanish, 
 German, Dutch, French and English idioms ; and 
 these will be sufficient to shew the very interesting- 
 relations, connected with this part of the subject. 
 Purring is expressed in Latin by feliuin, blandientium 
 sonitum edere ; in Portuguese, by fazer hum sonido ob- 
 tuso como fazem os gatos e leopardos, quando Ihes farem 
 festa ; in Italian, by mugiolare or mugolare, the same 
 word being appropriated to express the lowing of 
 oxen ; in Spanish, by maullar de alegria, como el gato ; 
 in German, by schnurren au&swirncn ; in Dutch, by 
 4 
 
38 MEMOIR ON 
 
 ranking, which also signifies to snore, and 
 which is to fret ; in French, hy filer \ or faire le rouet. 
 It will immediately strike every reader with disgust, 
 that the stagnant, amphibious character of the Dutch 
 language should have confounded this amiable modu 
 lation of sound, with the horrible trick of snoring, 
 and the pitiful practice of fretting ; while the very 
 imperfect state of society in Italy, is no less evident 
 from their blending in the same expression this sweet 
 modulation of voice in the domestic cat, with the 
 noisy, powerful bellowing of oxen. The Romans 
 too, notwithstanding the boasted purity of their wri 
 ters, had no single expression for this faculty ; which 
 is another proof that though powerful, they were, 
 compared with some modern nations, barbarous; 
 and corroborates the celebrated Mr. Gibbon s remark 
 on the superiority of modern times, when he says 
 that the great multiplication of glass and linen, pro 
 cures more comfort to a modern English gentleman, 
 than the massive sideboard of plate, and the plunder 
 of a province, could afford to a luxurious proconsul. 
 Cleanliness and quiet are two of the principal in 
 gredients of comfort, and in these the cat delights. 
 Wherever then these are found (and where a man s 
 house is his castle, and his fireside his home, they 
 always will be found) the cat will be their compan 
 ion ; and by thus forming a part of fireside society, 
 her significant intonation of contentment will be 
 most frequently heard, and of course the most ex 
 pressive and appropriate term will be adopted to ex 
 press it. From whence it follows, that the nation 
 who express this best, are the most secure in their 
 
THE PURRING OF CATS. 39 
 
 liberties, and the most refined in their comforts. By 
 referring to the languages before mentioned, this will 
 be found to conform remarkably to the existing state 
 of things ; the Portuguese are the most imperfect 
 in their expression of it, next the Spanish, then the 
 Italians, then the Dutch, the French and the German. 
 This latter nation approximates nearly : schnurren 
 is a very expressive word, but does not reach the 
 perfection of pwrr, by which the superior freedom 
 and civilization of the English are undeniably proved. 
 2. As many of my meditations were occupied by 
 a favourite individual of my own gender, \ was struck 
 by a fact in his conduct which seemed to throw great 
 light on the origin of society, and indeed accounts for 
 the primary associations of mankind on very satisfac 
 tory grounds. Certain characteristic qualities per 
 vade the different sexes of all animals. The indi 
 vidual in question, after passing his kittenhood, be 
 came remarkably disposed to roaming, deserted the 
 house to wander in the fields, and so strong were his 
 propensities to a savage life, that a little ill treat 
 ment or neglect at home, would, I think, have com 
 pletely estranged him from domestic habits. Not so 
 with the she-cat of the same litter ; she always 
 courted the protection of the house. What I think 
 may be clearly deduced from this fact is, that women 
 took the lead in the civilization of society, since 
 men were strongly prone to lead a wild, wandering 
 life, which the weakness and tenderness of the other 
 sex led them to counteract ; and as philosophers are 
 generally agreed that society would gradually de 
 cline, and in all probability become finally extinct, 
 if women were annihilated, it is extremely inter- 
 
40 MEMOIR ON 
 
 esting to consider them as the first cause of so 
 ciety, as well as of its continuance, and to the exis 
 tence of which they give all the attractions and em 
 bellishments it possesses. 
 
 3. To those who have studied the philosophy of 
 sounds, and are familiar with the principles of vibra 
 tions, it cannot be necessary to state, that this modu 
 lation, which indeed speaks for itself, is produced 
 only when the animal is in a state of contentment, 
 approaching to pleasure, but probably not stronger 
 than satisfaction. That it might be placed neverthe 
 less beyond a doubt, I ascertained from numerous ex 
 periments, that cats, in the receiver of an air pump, 
 only partially exhausted, or deprived for an unusual 
 time of their food, or with their feet wet, or harass 
 ed with love, never made this noise ; and I am 
 thoroughly convinced that men in any of these situa 
 tions would never feel in a state of complacency cor 
 responding to the humour of cats when purring, or to 
 abbreviate my expressions by the use of an epithet 
 which has been already introduced with great felici 
 ty, they would not feel in a purring humour. 
 
 4. Though not immediately connected with the 
 subject, there is a difference between the dog and 
 cat highly worthy of remark. A dog who has been 
 faithful to his master for years, and to whom he is un 
 der great obligations, may be cruelly beaten by him, 
 yet will he crouch servilely at his feet and solicit 
 his mercy ; but a cat, after being treated for years 
 with kindness, will, if you accidentally tread on its 
 paw or tail, inflict instant vengeance with its talons. 
 This indicates a proud sense of its rights, and a 
 
THE PURRING OF CATS. 41 
 
 dignified assertion of them, that presents something 
 truly genuine. 
 
 5. The learned Lord Monboddo has supposed, that 
 mankind originated from a band of monkies on the 
 shores of the Mediterranean, who, having by some 
 accident attained the use of a particular muscle of 
 the thumb, gradually improved, wore off their tails, 
 and became men. It is not my intention to discuss 
 his lordship s ingenious theory, but merely to state, 
 that from a great variety of observations, I am fully 
 satisfied that cats, even if they should ever succeed 
 in wearing off their tails, would never be transform 
 ed into men. 
 
 6. When cats wink, or keep one eye open, while 
 the other is shut, a very common movement of their 
 optical nerves, I have ascertained that it is owing to 
 the great irritability of the iris of their eyes, affected 
 by the rays of light striking too forcibly upon them ; 
 and that it is never with them a significant expres 
 sion of humour, as it is with individuals among men. 
 
 The concatenation of my subject has now brought 
 me to the catastrophe, which is the explanation, 
 hitherto unattempted, of the mode in which the 
 noise is made, and which I am enabled to state in the 
 most categorical terms. The predisposition of the 
 animal s feelings, occasioned by favourable circum 
 stances, having placed it in a state of contentment ; 
 its satisfaction is evinced by a peculiar, stifling arres- 
 tation and audible emission of its breath, which in 
 music is expressed by the term smozzicato ; the vital 
 or respirable gas being inhaled in the ordinary mnri- 
 
 ner, and passing the regular orifices of the lung?, is 
 4 * 
 
42 ON THE PURRING OF CATS. 
 
 forced into a sort of spiral convolution in its passage 
 along the epiglottis, and retained in the mouth by 
 a contraction of the lips, that prevent its instantane 
 ous escape, while a contraction of the costal muscles 
 operating upon it with increased vehemence, it is 
 forced, by a repercussion against the internal surface 
 of the teeth and jaws, to move, in a state of compres 
 sion and partial condensation, along the extremely 
 rough surface of the tongue in a longitudinal direction, 
 till checked by the newly issued respiration from the 
 lungs, it escapes by an eddying movement out of the 
 corners of the mouth, where it plays among the 
 whiskers like the zephyr on the strings of the Eolian 
 harp, but producing a sound incomparably more 
 grateful. I flatter myself that this clear, concise and 
 simple explanation will render this formerly abstruse 
 subject familiar to the meanest capacity. 
 
A DISSERTATION UPON 
 
 THINGS IN GENERAL, 
 
 AFTER THE MANNER OF SEVERAL AUTHORS. 
 
 From the Anthology, April, 1810. 
 
 IF the importance of any topic, or the variety of 
 details it involves, could ever deter any author from 
 his purpose, the subject of this dissertation would 
 produce that effect. But being animated and prepar 
 ed for the task by a long course of previous studies, 
 and convinced of its utility, I feel confident, if my 
 readers are not slow in taking leave of a subject, 
 and have sufficient elasticity to bound from one place 
 to another in rather quick succession, that we may 
 all of us be edified by its execution. 
 
 It will be fair however, in the outset, to caution 
 all those folks who can boggle at any leap, not to 
 mount : if they cannot dash through any hedge or 
 over any ditch, they will only fatigue themselves for 
 nothing, and lose all the pleasure of the chase. If 
 
44 DISSERTATION ON 
 
 they are in at any death, it will most probably be 
 their own. The game is to be pursued 
 
 " O er bog, or steep, through strait, rough, dense, or rare ;" 
 
 nor could any ingenuity make it otherwise. 
 
 The difficulty in this discussion is very different 
 from that which happens in going to law ; it is not in 
 getting out, but in getting in. Once fairly impelled, 
 the motion will be rapid enough, though in the com 
 et like eccentricity of the course, those who resolve 
 to proceed, like Whiston s " damned," will be chill 
 ed in the remotest regions of Saturn at one period, 
 and scorched in traversing the realms of the sun at 
 another. A meditation on the plurality of worlds, 
 or deciding whether the moon has an atmosphere, 
 would be simpler operations than the one before us. 
 
 Having arrived however at such a prodigious 
 height, it will be well to look down on this little, 
 whirling, twisting, turnip-shaped globe, and taking a 
 bird s eye view of its surface, gradually descend to 
 its nearest mountains, the Andes, the Alps, Teneriffe, 
 Etna, Caucasus ; and while stepping from one summit 
 to another, as ladies do on the most prominent stones 
 in crossing a muddy street, reflect, for every 
 moment must be employed, that ail matter exists 
 in three forms, solidity, fluidity, and aeriform 
 elasticity ; and then, the existence of matter being 
 ascertained, we may calmly alight on the blue hills 
 in the neighbourhood of Boston ; from which latter 
 place the nature of spirit may be easily considered. 
 
THINGS IN GENERAL. 45 
 
 Spirit is joined with matter only in man. The 
 physical part of man is composed of two forms of 
 matter, solidity and fluidity, with which the moral 
 part is united, but in what manner philosophers are 
 not agreed. This however is of no great conse 
 quence ; their action upon each other is strange and 
 often contradictory in its effects. Some individuals 
 have more flesh, and others have more mind. One 
 thing only is certain respecting it, that the extent, the 
 lightness, the elasticity, or the force of the mind, do 
 not depend on the greater or less quantity of flesh. 
 Thus far of man and woman too in their individual 
 state. 
 
 Man in his social state is more important. To de 
 fine and class him as a solitary being, or as a so 
 cial one, is attended with almost insuperable diffi 
 culty. Flato himself tailed in the former instance ; 
 for a deplumed cock answered to his description.* 
 The most satisfactory definition is a discovery of mo 
 dern times ; man is a cooking animal. The social 
 state of man has also given rise to many different 
 opinions ; but after all, that of Champfort is the sim 
 plest, and perhaps the best : " Society," says he," is 
 composed of two classes; of those who have better 
 dinners than appetites, and those who have better 
 appetites than dinners." 
 
 Man is the creature of education, and ought not to 
 be bred above or below his rank, a rule which is vi 
 olated both ways in this country. Take an instance 
 of the latter, the former is in every man s way. 
 
 * Vid. vet. schol. Grec, 
 
46 DISSERTATION ON 
 
 Nathan was the son of a country gentleman ; he was 
 sent to an academy to learn Latin, and his catechism. 
 When at home, there was no indulgence for him in 
 the parlour, and perfect indifference about his asso 
 ciating with his father s labourers : He was however 
 regularly taught not to steal, because it was a viola 
 tion of the eighth commandment, and never suffered 
 to grin after the sun went down on Saturday night, 
 till it rose again on Monday morning. In due time 
 he went to college. By the care of a lady, who had 
 some experience of life, and who was greatly ad 
 mired in the country, he was furnished with a set of 
 principles, written in large copy hand and fastened 
 into his pocket book. His progress was for a time 
 surprising ; those who had the care of him, began to 
 flatter themselves that he had no genius, and that he 
 would make a useful man. Alas ! the fairest hopes 
 are often blasted ! It was in his sophomore year, one 
 luckless, murky night, that he lost his pocket book 
 and his principles were in it ! He now became fond of 
 sitting in an oblique position, and wrote his themes in 
 blank verse ; these striking resemblances to Milton 
 soon bewildered him, and made him blind to his du 
 ty. He went through ^ college his further history 
 may be easily imagined. 
 
 The mention of themes recals to mind a few de 
 sultory rules for composition and conversation, which 
 have been lately collected ; and in a treatise of this 
 kind, no hint must be passed by, lest it should never 
 occur again. 
 
 1. If you wish to convince people by argument, 
 b egin by insulting their feelings, and rousing their 
 passions. Vide our political writers, passim. 
 
THINGS IN GENERAL. 47 
 
 2. If you are writing upon political economy, draw 
 your authorities from Petrarch and Dante. 
 
 3. If you quote from the Latin poets, choose 
 Claudian and Statius, or in case of need, Sannazarius 
 or Buchanan. To cite Virgil and Horace is a stale 
 college trick. 
 
 4. If you seek for the sublime, and are not afraid 
 of floundering, look over the 4th of July orations, 
 and the addresses to the Charitable Fire Society. 
 
 5. If you wish to attain general views, and what 
 the painters call a large manner, consult the French 
 state papers. The Dutch have windmills innumer 
 able, they smoke almost as much as the Americans, 
 and drink more gin; every man and woman in the 
 country is by petticoats and breeches surrounded as 
 many times as Erebus was by Styx. Even the fat 
 burgomasters of the present day had heard of the 
 De Ruyters and Van Tromps, the De Wits, and the 
 Princes of Orange ; but the French are not puzzled 
 by all these facts ; the French emperor in casting 
 his eyes over Europe, puffed away the fog and tobac 
 co smoke that covered the country, and saw at once 
 that Holland was only " the alluvion of the Rhine." 
 
 6. Always speak to the purpose ; do not attempt 
 to teach a blind man painting. In Andover you would 
 descant upon the apathy consequent on too much 
 mildness of character, harmony and concord in the 
 heads of an institution. In Cambridge, you would 
 dwell on the confusion incident upon too much ener 
 gy, and upon the calamities attending early mar- 
 
48 DISSERTATION ON 
 
 7. If you are engaged in teaching, make use of 
 classick methods. For instance, do you want to give 
 ladies, who are frightened at the ugliness of the 
 words, an idea of synthesis and analysis, take a group 
 of them making patchwork, and then, like the man 
 who discovered that he had been speaking prose all 
 his life, they will be surprised at finding that they 
 are performing both those operations at the same 
 time. They are putting together pieces of calico, 
 which is synthesis, and they are taking to pieces the 
 characters of their acquaintance, which is analysis. 
 
 8. If you undertake any work, make the frame 
 of it elastic, so that you may change its title or its 
 form, if it should be rendered necessary by events. 
 Make it a sort of polypus, so that if you cut off its 
 head or its tail, another will grow, or if you split it 
 down in the middle, it will become two perfect bodies. 
 Contrive your book like those rare houses, which 
 we see advertised in the country, " as admirably cal 
 culated for the private gentleman, trader, or tavern- 
 keeper." 
 
 9. If you should be annoyed by punsters, which 
 happens to many an honest man, repeat the fol 
 lowing sentence from the illustrious Martinus Scrib- 
 lerus, and overwhelm them. This sort of gentry 
 are not much read in the ancient authors, and will be 
 easily confounded. If the conversation does not 
 lead to it, lug it in by the head and shoulders ; wit 
 and statesmen are both introduced in this manner 
 every day. Figure to yourself the dismay of a pun 
 ster assailed by a galaxy of puns like the following : 
 Who is not governed by the word led ? Our noble- 
 
THINGS IN GENERAL. 49 
 
 men and drunkards are pimp-led, physicians and 
 pulses fee-led, their patients and oranges pil-led, a 
 new married man and an ass bride-led, an old marri 
 ed man and a horse sad-led, cats and dice are rat-led, 
 swine and nobility are sty-led, a coquette and a tin 
 der-box are spark-led, a lover and a blunderer are 
 grove-led." 
 
 Having got from man as an individual to man as a 
 social being, the natural order of the subject leads to 
 a consideration of th*j form of government, best cal 
 culated for the general interests of society. Mon 
 archy, aristocracy, and democracy, have each their 
 several advantages, and of those attending the latter, 
 we have daily experience in this most enlightened 
 country. But there is one form of government, 
 which legislative theorists have strangely passed 
 over ; and though it has been common in all ages, 
 from the time of Socrates to the present, it is proba 
 ble that no theory of it exists, riot even in the pi 
 geon holes of the Abbe Sieyes himself. A gyneco- 
 cracy is the most admirable of ail governments, and 
 models of it in action may every where be found. 
 If perpetual activity, vigilance, and a steady rein, be 
 valuable qualities, no species of rule possesses them 
 so remarkably as a gynecocracy. Theoretical le 
 gislators, individuals who are fond of proposing 
 amendments to our constitutions, will do well to 
 study the nature of this government ; many of 
 them may have an opportunity without stirring 
 from home, and at farthest will only have to visit 
 some of their neighbours. The Corinthian capital 
 
 owed its origin to a weed growing beside a stone : 
 5 
 
SO DISSERTATION ON 
 
 the government of a nation may be perhaps amelio 
 rated, or at least changed by contemplating the police 
 of a single family. 
 
 Motives to action must exist, whatever may be the 
 form of government. In the savage state, hunger is 
 the only one that urges the biped to exertion ; but 
 in a social state they are numerous. They are ea 
 sily, and indeed advantageously converted into pas 
 sions, and here the great difficulty arises, which is, 
 to controul the bad and encourage the good pas 
 sions. Anger, for instance, is the most common, yet 
 anger is turbulent, vindictive, unjust, and the cause 
 of a thousand evils. In a single man it may cause 
 the misery of millions. Read the Iliad, and judge of 
 its effects ; the poem is founded upon them.* 
 
 Wealth, the applause of mankind, and a long 
 life of glory are held out as motives ; yet all these 
 may be easily shewn to be unreal, or contemptible. 
 Hear what the poet says of wealth. 
 
 Riches are oft by guilt or baseness earn d, 
 Oft dealt by chance to shield a lucky knave, 
 Or throw a cruel sunshine on a fool. 
 
 So much for riches. The prosperity of a long life, 
 or the desire of glorious fame, are equally subject 
 to doubt, as is fully proved by the celebrated Portu 
 guese poet, Luis Rafael Soye, whose works are 
 
 * The reader is requested to peruse the first twenty lines, and 
 indeed the whole book may be read to great advantage. 
 
THINGS IN GENERAL. 51 
 
 doubtless familiar to all my readers, who has these 
 beautiful thoughts in the 75th stanzas of his llth 
 night. 
 
 Quanto he vario o Destino ! quao voluvel 
 Dos homans distribue as varies sortes ! 
 A hums castiga com eternos loiros, 
 Premeia a outros com infaustas mortes. 
 
THE 
 
 NORTH AMERICAN REVIEW, 
 
 THIS work under the title of the North American 
 Review and Miscellaneous Journal, was begun by 
 me, and the first number published in May, 1815. 
 It was originally intended to combine the properties 
 of a magazine and review, and was issued every two 
 months. It continued in this manner till December, 
 1818, when it was changed to a quarterly publica 
 tion. The running number in continuation from the 
 beginning is retained, but when the work came into 
 the charge of the present editor, it is noted in the 
 title, as being a new series, the numbers of which 
 are also given. 
 
 My motives in this undertaking were not wholly 
 selfish. I thought such a work would be of public 
 utility, and that there was talent enough in this vi 
 cinity to give it ample support. I began it without 
 sufficient arrangement for aid from others, and was 
 in consequence obliged to write more myself than 
 was suitable for a work of this description, which 
 requires a variety of style, and much more elaborate 
 
KORTH AMERICAN REVIEW. 53 
 
 investigation of the various subjects discussed, than 
 any one person can possibly give. I was however 
 assisted occasionally by the kindness of some of the 
 ablest writers we possess. I did not give my name 
 as editor, because it never was my intention to con 
 tinue the work more than two years, and because 
 among other reasons, I had no pretensions which 
 would justify ambition in the line of editorship : nev 
 er meaning, however, to deny my responsibility to 
 any person who might feel himself aggrieved by any 
 thing contained in its pages. 
 
 No attempt was ever made to extend the subscrip 
 tion to this work by any one of the scientific kinds of 
 puffing. Spontaneous encouragement was very rare, 
 and I believe I was more indebted to some person in 
 Baltimore wholly unknown to me, for friendly noti 
 ces of the work, than to any other quarter. It was 
 my belief, that every literary undertaking would 
 place itself on its proper level in public estimation 
 in spite of friends or enemies ; a theory which has 
 proved true in this instance, by the parallel ex 
 tension of patronage with its increased merit. The 
 same principle made me disregard calumny, whether 
 written or printed, because if the work was deserving 
 of public favour it would survive all the attacks of 
 enmity and ignorance. There was one instance how 
 ever, that for a moment I felt a disposition to answer, 
 till recollecting Mr. Ames remark, that " a Lie would 
 travel from Maine to Georgia while Truth was 
 getting on his boots ;" and that my answer could 
 never follow the libel to its obscure retreats, I suf 
 fered it to perish quietly with the thousands that 
 5* 
 
54 A ORTH AMERICAN REVIEW. 
 
 had gone before it. I am induced now to mention 
 the circumstance without going into much detail, in 
 the hope that it may produce some useful inferen 
 ces ; and lead many worthy men in some parts of the 
 United States, to receive with greater caution, some 
 of the vilifying statements that have been made 
 against this quarter of the country. 
 
 A weekly newspaper in Boston, one of those ephe 
 meral journals, which rise in all parts of the coun 
 try, like the autumnal exhalations from our swamps, 
 often as virulent, but fortunately of as short duration ; 
 gave in a series of numbers some remarks on an 
 American edition of Bigland s history, and took for 
 their motto a sentence from the North American Re 
 view, noting the article from which it was taken, 
 which was a review of the work entitled " the Unit 
 ed States and England ;" one of the answers to the 
 Quarterly Review. I wrote the long article upon 
 this book, with an intention of corroborating the 
 statements of the New-York pamphlet, from which 
 copious extracts were made, and of which 1 spoke in 
 favourable terms, as 1 thought it deserved. In con 
 cluding my remarks, I said, referring to the libel in 
 the Quarterly Review, " we hope that the indigna 
 tion," &c. : as the sentence will, presently appear in 
 a quotation, it is unnecessary to transcribe it here. 
 
 This sentence so quoted, caught the eye of a New 
 York editor, and in the genuine spirit, of " uncandid 
 dulness," he applied it to the American work, and 
 not to the British Review. The opportunity to ca 
 lumniate the people of Boston, and the first number 
 f a new literary Journal, was not to be overlooked. 
 
NORTH AMERICAN REVIEW. 55 
 
 The following effusion appeared in consequence in 
 the New-York National Advocate. 
 
 NEW-ENGLAND POLITICS. 
 
 i; The Boston politicians tenaciously adhere to the 
 distinctive appellation of New-England, for the sec 
 tion of the country they inhabit, as though they de 
 rived more honour from the land from which they 
 descended, than from that in which they were born 
 and reside. But they are still more inflexibly at 
 tached to the politics of old England when opposed 
 to those of our own country, than to the name, as 
 different from that of the United States. Thus we 
 see them boasting of being New-England men, while 
 they pretend to be ashamed that they are Americans, 
 and in all cases affecting the honour and interest of 
 the two countries, giving old England the preference 
 to the United States.. 
 
 " Our readers have heard and read of " The 
 United States and England," the production of ge 
 nius and patriotism, drawn from a gentleman of this 
 city, to repel a furious, wanton and malevolent attack 
 on this country in the British Quarterly Review. 
 And how should an able and worthy champion of na 
 tive character and manner, be treated, but with gra 
 titude and respect! Yet we find a Boston publication, 
 a thing called the North American Review ; saying 
 of this respectable and popular work : 
 
 We hope that the indignation this lib d has excit 
 ed among men of all parties in America, may create 
 some sensation in England ; and that it may be treat 
 ed eventually with the scorn it merits ." 
 
56 NORTH AMERICAN REVIEW. 
 
 u Here is North American sentiments with a ven 
 geance ! What pensioned hireling of a British ministry, 
 or toad-eater to the pure and exemplary prince re 
 gent, would have said more, of an American produc 
 tion, called for by the reputation of his country, and 
 properly modelled after the example set by the Bri 
 tish libeller of us who no doubt is justified by these 
 Bostonian vipers in all his insolent abuse and profligate 
 vulgarity of style, since it is levelled at the United 
 States ! 
 
 " If these Anglo American scribblers, these English 
 lasiards and spaniels in literature and sentiment, es 
 cape a richly merited reward of public scorn and ex 
 ecration, it must be by a rapid descent into the tomb 
 of oblivion which kindly receives all such mushroom 
 reptiles and shelters them from the lash of justice ." 
 
 This quotation is inserted without any alteration, 
 except putting a few words in italics where truth, 
 and decency receive so many outrages, grammar of 
 course will be treated with little respect, and one or 
 two slight offences against the latter, may be over 
 looked. These remarks were republished in the 
 National Intelligencer, and some ardent writer sprang 
 forward with a threatening series of numbers, in which 
 the character of these " Boston traitors" was to be 
 unmasked and displayed. Probably he soon discovered 
 his mistake, for only the first number came out, but 
 neither in that paper, nor in the New-York, nor Bos 
 ton one, did the slightest explanation or acknowledge 
 ment appear, though the last of these, and probably 
 both the others, must have known what an egregious- 
 ly malignant representation, they had so widely cir 
 culated. 
 
NORTH AMERICAN REVIEW. 57 
 
 I have quoted only the part immediately relating 
 to the North American Review, but it was followed 
 in the same strain with abuse of Boston and the 
 citizens of New-England generally. The whole 
 communication was closed with this exquisite query : 
 Si Is it the character of these people the Editor of 
 the Essex Register is so fearful the Olive Branch 
 will injure ? ! !"* 
 
 The powerful influence of the French revolution 
 and the universal interest it excited in all civilized 
 countries, not only pervading the literature of every 
 nation, but marshalling all the world in its contagious 
 quarrels, had for well-known reasons an extraordi 
 nary dominion in this country. Political sympathies 
 and antipathies gave a bias to all our opinions. In 
 addition to which, we were so yonng in thp. career 
 of literature, we ran so much risk of adopting bar 
 barisms both in taste and sentiment, from the pas 
 sionate vehemence of party feelings, and the pre 
 sumption of rash pretenders, that many sound scho 
 lars saw no other mode to avert the threatened evils, 
 than to shew unlimited deference to the great stan 
 dards of English learning. In following this course, 
 they sometimes confounded the ideas of time and 
 space ; and blended the respect that was due to 
 what was consecrated by the former, with a defe- 
 
 * The late leanied Dr. Bentley of Salem, edited gratuitously 
 and most industriously, the Essex Register, a " republican" 
 newspaper. Being struck with the mischievous character of the 
 ;{ Olive Branch" he deprecated its injurious tendency, and thus 
 exposed himself to this taunting reproof from those, who were 
 5ts admirers from the most natural motives. 
 
5B NORTH AMERICAN REVIEW. 
 
 rence to opinions protected only by the latter, which 
 might be often prejudiced, interested, and unsound. 
 The danger that might thus arise is obvious ; it may 
 be compared to the apprehension that is felt in some 
 countries respecting those who believe in the papal 
 supremacy, which if it could be confined to spirituals 
 would be almost a matter of indifference, and is only 
 dreaded on account of its opening a passage, to the 
 insidious entrance of political influence and the pos 
 session of temporal power. The admiration that 
 was so justly felt for the illustrious names of English 
 literature- and politics in past ages, was often blindly 
 given to their living descendants, whose infirmities 
 were invisible at a distance. These feelings some 
 times produced a little too much severity in judging 
 our own productions, and rather more submission to 
 foreign criticism, than impartial justice would have 
 dictated in either case. The consequence was occa 
 sionally, a want, or rather a suppression, of national 
 feeling and independent judgment, that would sooner 
 or later have become highly injurious. 
 
 To counteract the tendency of this state of things, 
 which if I have not succeeded in describing very 
 clearly, will still be understood by many persons, 
 was one of the chief motives in establishing this 
 Review. The spirit of the work was national and 
 independent as regarded foreign countries, yet not 
 falling under the dominion of party at home ; and 
 the tone of it, in these respects, is 1 think different 
 from that of any preceding journal. This tone it 
 has always preserved, with one or two slight excep 
 tions, and I do not know how far my vanity will be 
 
NORTH AMERICAN REVIEW. 59 
 
 pardoned in making a claim to some agency in estab 
 lishing it, as the only one, I have to any merit con 
 nected with that work. 
 
 The citizens of the United States are not yet 
 emancipated, nor can they expect to be for some 
 time to come, from a degree of dependence on 
 foreign opinion in every thing regarding literature. 
 Yet criticism is every day gaining ground among us, 
 obtaining wider influence as it displays greater talent, 
 and the period is perhaps not very distant when 
 foreign literary decisions will be sought for princi 
 pally under the impulse of curiosity ; and our own 
 tribunals will be esteemed the supreme authority. 
 The North-American Review is contributing in every 
 number to produce this effect ; and it certainly shews 
 that there is a considerable stock of literature 
 already accumulated in the country, when such a 
 journal should have continued for several years 
 increasing in value, and preserving itself from the 
 bigoted sway of any political or religious party. 
 When we consider what the Monthly Anthology 
 was in 1810, and what the North-American Review 
 is in 1820, the increase in this department, at least 
 rivals any other in this most prolific and expanding 
 country. The enlightened observer will find it to 
 keep pace with most of the statistical facts, connect 
 ed with production or population, that are obvious 
 enough to excite admiration in many, who are indif 
 ferent to the progress of intellectual efforts.* 
 
 * It may be necessary to add that this was written in Decem 
 ber 1820, and that I had contributed nothing to the Review fov 
 two years previous. 
 
60 NORTH AMERICAN REVIEW. 
 
 The Review passed from my hands into the pos 
 session of a few gentlemen who. own it in common ; 
 writing in it occasionally themselves and procuring 
 literary contributions from others. The principal 
 charge of editing it, is in the care of a gentleman 
 singularly qualified for the task, and well prepared 
 for the highest departments of editorship. In ori 
 ginally undertaking the work, I flattered myself that 
 it would eventually come under his direction, and I 
 trust it will continue for a long period to add to his 
 reputation and to that of American literature. 
 
ON 
 
 GEOLOGICAL SYSTEMS. 
 
 From the North-American Review, July, 1816. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 IF the following pages will do for your Journal, I 
 offer them for insertion. They are the amount of a 
 conversation reduced to writing, and of course neces 
 sarily superficial and imperfect. A lady, whose 
 reading was more among the lighter books of litera 
 lure, than the ponderous ones of science, having 
 met with some allusions to the Vulcanian and Nep 
 tunian theories of the earth, and mention of Vulcan- 
 ists and JVeptunists, requested of me an explanation 
 of these systems. Without pretensions to any pro- 
 found knowledge of geology, I should have hesitated 
 at the task, if a very learned dissertation had been 
 necessary ; but trusting that my fair inquirer had too 
 little acquaintance with science, to expose my errors, 
 if she would, and too much good nature to do it, if 
 she could, I attempted a brief exposition of the 
 subject. 
 
 Among the heathen divinities, there were two of 
 great eminence, whose names have been borrowed 
 6 
 
62 ON GEOLOGICAL SYSTEMS. 
 
 by geologists, as very convenient to designate their 
 different theories. Neptune was the God of the sea, 
 the brother of Jupiter, and drove about the capri 
 cious element he ruled, in a large shell, drawn by 
 sea horses, of a breed which are now extinct, except 
 in the designs of artists. He carried in his hand a 
 fork with three prongs, called a trident. As the 
 God himself has not been seen for some centuries, a 
 very famous nation, who have driven very furiously 
 over the ocean, without the aid of horses, had long 
 claimed to be in possession of his trident, which has 
 been called, " the sceptre of the globe." The 
 world has generally acceded to this pretension, 
 though having driven with too much violence, and 
 too little caution against some who were travelling 
 the same rout, it is supposed, that a younger nation 
 obtained one of the prongs in a short scuffle, which 
 ensued at last, in consequence of frequent altercation. 
 
 Vulcan was more renowned for his skill, than his 
 good fortune. He formed a very brilliant, but unfor 
 tunate matrimonial connexion. His principal em 
 ployment was forging thunderbolts for Jupiter, who, 
 like other tyrants, was often in a passion. Our fel 
 low townsman, Dr. Franklin, has protected us by 
 one of his discoveries, from the skill of Vulcan, and 
 the force of Jupiter ; and as he also contributed to 
 establish the liberty of our country, both these ex 
 ploits have been happily commemorated in a well 
 known line in Latin, which I need not repeat. 
 
 Vulcan s workshops were situated near Mount 
 Etna, and he employed a number of gigantic journey 
 men, with only one eye in the centre of their fore- 
 
ON GEOLOGICAL SYSTEMS. 63 
 
 head, called Cyclops. A very particular account of 
 these people, and the adventures of Ulysses among 
 them, you will find in the 9th book of that most 
 amusing poem, the Odyssey. It is impossible not to 
 remark here, how much the poets can make out of 
 the simplest materials. This story of Vulcan, his 
 labours, and labourers, are all derived from one of 
 the earliest iron founders, whose workmen, to pro 
 tect their eyes from the intense heat of the metal, 
 wore a leather mask, which had one large hole in 
 the centre ; Homer transformed these poor black 
 smiths into monsters, and made them immortal. 
 
 Now Geologists are divided into two parties : the 
 first say that this globe was formed by the agency of 
 fire, and they are called Vulcanists, from the God of 
 fire. The others maintain that water was the agent. 
 and are called Neptunists, from the God of that 
 element. Perhaps you may obtain some idea of their 
 different theories, by applying them alternately to 
 the formation of that cumbrous, magnificent, wed 
 ding cake, which stands on the table near us, with 
 all its ornaments of gilded box, motto shells, sugared 
 almonds, &c. &c. In reasoning on its formation, of 
 which I really know little more than of that of the 
 earth, which groans under its weight ; I will apply, 
 alternately, the Neptunian and Vulcanian theories, 
 to account for its construction. The lady here in 
 quired, whether these theories did not interfere with 
 the Mosaick account of the creation ? I explained to 
 her, that there was nothing irreverent in these in 
 vestigations ; that in the various departments of the 
 Old Testament, the most pious and learned theolo- 
 
64 ON GEOLOGICAL SYSTEMS . 
 
 gians were undecided what was exactly historical, 
 metaphorical, or inspired That many parts of it 
 were mysterious, and the whole an object of faith 
 and veneration That men of science, who should 
 be the last to interfere with any thing religious, 
 conducted their inquiries without any reference to 
 that sacred relation. They reasoned precisely, as 
 if no such account existed. 
 
 To commence with the Vulcanian theory, a geo 
 logist of this school would say, that water was not 
 an adequate agent to produce the effects we witness ; 
 that there must be a great central fire to have formed 
 this composition ; that the surface exhibits the most 
 evident marks of fusion, and in penetrating beneath 
 it, there is a black carbonaceous crust, which is 
 evidently the product of fire ; that if it had been the 
 product of water, instead of the irregular lava which 
 now covers its surface, vegetation would have ap 
 peared the moment the surface was exposed, and 
 before it could be wholly desiccated. Whereas, 
 the slow decomposition of a volcanic surface, is here 
 shewn by the scanty vegetation that appears ; be 
 sides, the specimens of gold in a pure state, must 
 have been the product of fire. It is quite clear, that 
 if it had not been through the agency of the princi 
 ple of caloric, which pervades and animates all cre 
 ation, this production would never have existed. 
 
 The Neptunist would say, that there were too 
 many appearances to leave any doubt about the 
 agency of water : the amygdaloids, mandelsteins, or 
 almond stones, by their rounded and washed appear 
 ance, had evidently been rolled in the water, and 
 
ON GEOLOGICAL SYSTEMS. 65 
 
 the incrustation that surrounded them was the mere 
 induration of the deposit, in which they had been 
 left, after the water had receded ; that a further 
 convincing 1 proof might be found in those fossile 
 shells, which would have been calcined by the fire. 
 These shells resemble no species exactly,* that are 
 now found, and were evidently the tenants of those 
 ancient waters, which once covered the globe, and 
 have since been exhaled or contained within the 
 bounds of the different oceans. Besides, if water 
 had not held the whole globe in solution, how could 
 they thus be found on its highest surfaces, and im 
 bedded so deeply in the interior, forming whole 
 masses of zoolite strata ? My interesting inquirer 
 here became impatient, which the reader may won 
 der had not been the case sooner, and said, that as 
 this bridal cake was notoriously made with the help 
 of both fire and water, why may not the geologists 
 agree to admit the intervention of both, and thus 
 put an end to the dispute My dear friend, this 
 would be fatal ! science is like love, if there are 
 too many disputes, it expires in a war of words ; but 
 if it never excites any discussion, it will be extin 
 guished in apathy. WERNER. 
 
 * For the satisfaction of the learned reader, I suggest that 
 this shell comes the nearest to the species Uva, genus turbo, 
 cochlea alba ventricosa, bidcns, Strys cminentibus. exatperata. 
 
 6 * 
 
MEMOIR ON THE 
 
 ANTIQUITY OF THE UNITED STATES, 
 
 From the North American Review, November, 1816. 
 
 NAUMKEAG, . 
 
 SIR, 
 
 IN the 7th number of your Journal, I proposed 
 furnishing you with some observations on " the an 
 tiquity of the United States ;" respecting which, I 
 had been led to entertain an opinion in a degree dif 
 ferent from the one, generally held on the subject. 
 A further investigation has opened such a wide field 
 of proof and illustration, that to embrace the whole 
 would require a more elaborate work, than I shall 
 perhaps ever be willing to undertake. Being desi 
 rous however, to place before the public a few hints 
 on this interesting topic, I have thought the simplest 
 mode of doing this, would be to throw an abstract of 
 these researches into the form of an irregular me 
 moir. This paper I now inclose, and after what has 
 been said, it is not necessary to apologize for the 
 aK*nnce of all pretension to extraordinary learning, 
 or regularity of system ; if at any future time the 
 
ANTIQUITY OF THE UNITED STATES. 67 
 
 latter should be produced, it cannot be without some 
 aid from the former. In the mean time, I trust that 
 no plagiarist will take advantage of the open man 
 ner in which these primary sketches are given to the 
 public, to forestall me in the completion of a larger 
 work. As I observe that you do not secure the 
 copy-right of your Journal, and I have already suf 
 fered on another occasion, from having my thoughts 
 taken, without any credit being given for them, I am 
 the more cautious to dwell upon this point. I cer 
 tainly shall not see my ideas pilfered with impunity ; 
 and if any person should be disposed to engage in 
 so nefarious a design, let me warn him in the ani 
 mated language of a favourite author to beware : 
 The benevolent Calvin, in accusing the learned 
 Pighius of plagiarism, has the following remarks : 
 
 Vellem nunc scire quo jure ant titulo, meet sic pro suis usurpet. 
 Si qua magna esset inter nos nccessitudo, ego hanc conftdentiam 
 amicitiae non difficulter concedcrcm. Scd nunc huic veniae non 
 cst locus. An quid hostis sum, sejus direptionis in omnia mea 
 habere putat ? At hoc praedae genus nullo, nee jure, nee more, 
 dffcndi potest. Unus ergo practexlus restat, homini dodo po- 
 iuisse non minus venire, in mentem quae dixeram, quam mihi 
 prius venerant. Sed lectores obsecro, si tantum habeant otii, ut 
 caput primum libri Pighiani cumprimo Institulionismeae capite 
 conferat. Nihil dico, nisi quod non sine risu ac stomaeho per- 
 spicient nimis perditam hominis impudentiam. Quod si ulte- 
 rius pergere libeat, pcrcurrant quae de jusiificatione tractat in 
 altero illo opere, et ad sextum Institutions meae caput exigant : 
 minim si bilem contintre queant. Neque enim clanculum piratur 
 aut carptim : neque artificio legtre ita studtt suas rapinas, ut 
 apud se natum videatur, quod apud me legit, sed ilapalam mea 
 adverbum recitat, ut videatur p a ginas ipsas Mas pi grit ia assuisse, 
 quo dsscribendi laborem fugtrtl. Si fateretur authorem, cum 
 
MEMOIR ON THE 
 
 dicer em muiuari : nunc quid causari potest, quo minus plagiaries 
 palam vocetur.* 
 
 Another motive in making this extract, unconnect 
 ed with the immediate subject of this letter, was, 
 that it furnishes us from this great man himself, with 
 an infallible test to discover his genuine disciples ; 
 these words si bilem continere qucant, are the true 
 touchstone ; timidity, locality, credulity may make 
 ostensible Calvinists, but such are without an inqui 
 sitorial spirit, and are merely Christians, The real 
 Calvinists are those, with whom the bilem continere 
 is an impossibility. 
 
 MEMOIR OX THE ANTIftUITY OF THE UNITED STATES. 
 
 This huge rotundity we tread grows old. Dr. Armstrong. 
 
 Septem circumstantias morales enumerat, quis, quid. 
 
 circa quid, et in quo, quo, cujus gratia, et qualiter. 
 
 Bradwardinusj p. 305, folio edition. 
 
 Beguyl d thus with delight of novelties, 
 And naturall desire of countryes state, 
 So long they redd in those antiquities, 
 That how the time was fled they quite forgate. 
 
 Spenser Faery Queen. 
 
 It ought nevertheless to be remarked, that there are many 
 important advantages derived to our reasoning from this present 
 manner of considering the subject. The principles being now 
 established, they will be supported by a further induction of 
 facts and occurrences, to an extent and amount, that it is im 
 possible at this moment fairly to estimate. Dr. MitchilL 
 
 * Calvin respons. contra Pighium de libero arbitrio p. HO 
 opuscul. Theolog. 
 
ANTIQUITY OF THE UNITED STATES. 69 
 
 The first peopling of America, and many other 
 questions connected with the early history of this 
 country, have engaged the attention and industry of 
 many learned men, who after the most laborious in 
 vestigation, have displayed a vast variety of opinions, 
 and come at last to the most opposite conclusions on 
 the subject. To borrow a sentence of great elegance, 
 it may be said, that, u one has fancied one thing, an 
 other another, and a third has guessed a third."* All 
 these theories have some circumstances to support 
 them, and this only tends to increase the confusion. 
 There is no system more palpably absurd than that of 
 De Pau, who maintained that this continent had recent 
 ly emerged from the ocean, and that its soil and climate 
 were not yet sufficiently dried and matured, for the 
 advantageous production of animal and vegetable life. 
 We are still under obligations to him for his vision 
 ary system, since it might have been the first cause 
 of our considering a directly opposite plan to get 
 rid of the obscurity and contradiction in which the 
 matter was involved ; and thus to strike out a theory 
 which it may be hoped will be hereafter incontro- 
 vertibly established, by which it will be clearly seen 
 that this continent is the primeval one, and that the 
 United States are the most ancient nation on the 
 globe. 
 
 A superficial view of the subject may render some 
 averse to this conclusion who found their opinions 
 on chronology, a science of all others the most un 
 certain. It is related of Sir Walter Raleigh, that 
 
 * Dr. Sykes s paraphrase on the epistle to the Hebrews : in 
 troduction. 
 
70 MEMOIR ON THE 
 
 having been an eye witness to a scene that passed 
 under his windows, and hearing the next day the 
 various relations which were given of it by different 
 witnesses, he was tempted to throw the manuscript 
 of his History of the World, that he was then 
 composing, into the fire. How many examples of 
 recent events will create the same feelings, and 
 induce us to view all history founded only on chro 
 nology, with suspicion. For example, how many 
 volumes have been composed on the subject of 
 the priority of " the French decrees and the British 
 Orders in Council ;" and though the whole business 
 was involved in uncertainty, yet both those generous 
 and magnanimous governments assumed that the oth 
 er was the aggressor, and on this ground alone, felt 
 themselves obliged out of a pure and noble love of 
 justice, to take our property wherever it could be 
 found. Surely it behoves us to appreciate this sci 
 ence properly ; no nation ever suffered so severely 
 for a mere error in chronology. 
 
 Facts of the same nature, though not quite of the 
 same importance, which might be easily multiplied, 
 shew how vain is all dependence on chronology. 
 The language therefore of Plutarch in his life of 
 Solon, may be quoted as unanswerable : " I cannot 
 persuade myself to reject it because of some chro 
 nological canons, as they call them, which hundreds of 
 authors correcting, have not yet been able to consti 
 tute any thing certain, in which they could agree 
 among themselves about repugnancies."* 
 
 * I had hesitated in the citations from Plutarch and Plato, 
 whether to give them in the original Greek ; a disinclination to 
 any thing like a parade of learning, which will be sufficiently ap- 
 
ANTIQUITY OP THE UNITED STATES. 71 
 
 The divine Plato, while giving an account of the 
 Athenienses in his Thimeum and Atlanticum, speaks 
 of their having defeated kings, and great crouds of 
 people who came by sea from the great Insula 
 Atlantica. He makes mention of many remark 
 able things in this Island, as it was improperly call 
 ed, of the customs of the inhabitants, describes a 
 magnificent temple they possessed, the walls of 
 which were lined with gold and silver. He says, 
 that this land commenced near the pillars of Her 
 cules, and was held to be greater than Asia and Af 
 rica, that it contained ten kingdoms, which Neptune 
 divided among his ten sons, giving Atlas the greatest 
 empire. He also tells us that 9000 years before his 
 time, the sea increased with such mighty power, that 
 the island was sunk. The commentators Marcinus, 
 Ficinus and Plantinus, say Plato was writing literally, 
 not allegorically, of which it seems impossible that any 
 person should have a doubt. Eudoxus would have us 
 calculate these years after the manner of the Egyp 
 tians, which would make them only months : all the 
 ancient historiographers and cosmographers called 
 the sea where this island was sunk Mathanticum.* 
 
 parent in the course of this memoir, decided me to give them ia 
 English. Those who wish to consult the originals, will find 
 which are the best editions of these authors, by referring to Dib- 
 din s classicks. It is possible, however, after I have pursued the 
 subject in an elaborate manner, I may publish a Personal Nar 
 rative separately, in which, as the public will naturally look for 
 amusement, I shall give whole pages of calculations, with lists 
 of authors whose very names they never before heard. 
 
 * A recent Turkish traveller, Ali Bey, has invented a fanciful 
 system which would have made the Atalantis to have formed 
 
72 MEMOIR ON THE 
 
 Every person who reads these two books of Plato 
 and the enlivening remarks of his commentators, 
 will be fully convinced of the existence of the great 
 island or continent, Atalantis, and will be ready to 
 exclaim, 
 
 * It must be so, Plato, thou reasonest well. 
 
 The unquestionable authority of Spenser, may be 
 relied upon to shew more particularly, the origin of 
 the first inhabitants of the Atalantis, or America, as it 
 has been recently called. In the 10th canto of the 
 second book of his immortal Faery Qwee?z, from the 
 70th to the 78th stanza, he gives the origin of these 
 inhabitants ; he proves that they were the descen 
 dants of the man made by Prometheus, and which he 
 animated by stealing fire from heaven ; and this is 
 still more interesting, because some doubts existed 
 respecting the fate of that singular individual s pro- 
 genv. To remove all possibility of cavil, he gives us 
 the names of the different sovereigns from Elfe to 
 Glorian. The singular and romantick origin of this 
 race, furnishes reasons to suppose that there was 
 some difference in their formation from that of our 
 species, and perhaps it may not be extravagant to 
 suppose, that the bones of a nondescript kind which 
 have been found in various parts of the United States, 
 
 part of Africa, and that the portion which was sunk occupied 
 the present Bay of Tripoli to the sea in its vicinity, while the 
 great desert of Africa was formerly the bottom of the Atlantic. 
 The Turks may oppress the modem Greeks, but they must pros 
 trate themselves before their ancestors. This memoir is too se 
 rious to dwell upon such trifling ; All Bey cannot prove an alibi 
 in this case of the Atlantis ; he must not oppose himself to Plato. 
 
ANTIQUITY OF THE UNITED STATES. 73 
 
 and which have puzzled naturalists so much, may be 
 the remains of this class of men. The supposition 
 at least is worthy of some investigation. The fol 
 lowing verses contain a brief account of the whole 
 genealogy. 
 
 But Guyon all this while his book did read, 
 
 I*fe yet has ended ; for it was a great 
 
 And ample volume, that doth far exceed 
 
 My leisure so long leaves here to repeat : 
 
 It told how first Prometheus did create 
 
 A man of many parts from beasts deryv d, 
 
 And then stole fire from heven to animate 
 
 His worke, for which he was by Jove depryv d 
 
 Of life himselfe, and heartstrings of an eagle ryv d. 
 
 That man so made he called Elfe, to weet 
 
 Quick, the first author of all Elfin kynd ; 
 
 Who, wandering through the world with wearie feet, 
 
 Did in the gardens of Adonis fynd 
 
 A goodly creature, whom he deem d in mind 
 
 To be no earthly wight, but either spright 
 
 Or angell, th author of all woman kynd ; 
 
 Therefore a Fay he her according hight, 
 
 Of whom all Faeries spring, and fetch their lineage right. 
 
 Of these a mighty people shortly grew, 
 And puissant kiages which all the woild warrayd 
 And to themselves all nations did subdew. 
 The first an. 1 , eldest, which that sceptre sway d, 
 Was Elfin ; him all India obay d, 
 And all that now Ameri?a men call : 
 JNext him was noble Elfin* n, who laid 
 Cleopolis foundation h.st of all, 
 But Elfiline encloti d 5t with a golden wall. 
 7 
 
74 MEMOIR ON THE 
 
 His sonne was Elfinell, who overcame 
 
 The wicked Gobbelines in bloody field ; 
 
 But Elfant was of most renowned fame, 
 
 Who all of christall did Panthea build : 
 
 Then Elfar, who two brethren gyauntes kild, 
 
 The one of which had two heades, th other three ; 
 
 Then Elfinor who was in magic skill d ; 
 
 lie built by art upon the glassy see 
 
 A bridge of bras, whose sound heven s thunder seem d to be. 
 
 He left three sonnes, the which in order rayn d, 
 And all their offspring in their dew descents : 
 Even seven hundred princes, which maintaynd 
 With mighty deedes their sondry governments, 
 That were too long their infinite contents 
 Here to record, ne much materiall ; 
 Yet should they be most famous moniments, 
 And brave ensample, both of martiall 
 And civil rule to kings and states imperiall. 
 
 After all these Elfideos did rayne, 
 The wise Elfideos ! in great majestic 
 Who mightily that sceptre did sustayne, 
 And with rich spoyles and famous victorie 
 Did high advaunce the crown of Faery. 
 He left two sonnes of which fayre Elferon, 
 The eldest brother, did untimely dye, 
 Whose empty place the mighty Oberon 
 Doubly supplide in spousall and dominion. 
 
 Great was his power and glory over all, 
 
 Which him before that sacred scale did fill, 
 
 That yet remaines his wide memorial!. 
 
 He dying, left the fairest Tanaquill 
 
 Him to succeed therein by his last will ; 
 
 Fairer and nobler liveth none this howre, 
 
 Ne like in grace, ne like in learned skill ; 
 
 Therefore they Glorian call that Glorious flowre ; 
 
 Long mayst thou, Glorian ! live, in glory and great powre. 
 
ANTIQUITY OF THE UNITED STATES. ? 
 
 Beguyl d thus with delight of novelties, 
 
 And naturall desire of countryes state, 
 
 So long they redd in those antiquities, 
 
 That how the time was fled they quite forgate ; 
 
 Till gentle Alma seeing it so late, 
 
 Perforce their studies broke, and them besought 
 
 To thinke how supper did them long awaite ; 
 
 So half unwilling from their bookes them brought 
 
 And fayrely feasted, as so noble knightes she ought. 
 
 A writer in the Port Folio, for the month of March 
 1815, seems to have had a glimpse of this hne system 
 and to have lost it untimely. A perusal of Plato 
 had brought him on the true scent, hut having unfor 
 tunately started a particular word, he has hunted it 
 through all its doublings and windings, till he has lost 
 the fine idea which was in full view. The Hebrew 
 word Peleg caught his attention, and like a German 
 University he has devoted his whole time to the in 
 vestigation of a single word, and is of course nearly 
 as bare of ideas, as some thousand of folios produc 
 ed by German commentators. The following para 
 graph will shew how near he was to a brilliant dis 
 covery. u We think there is sufficient reason to be 
 lieve, that land once connected America to the old 
 world, in place of which now roll the Atlantic and 
 Pacific Oceans. Over this continuous land men and 
 animals passed. This land, which, it is probable, 
 was of very considerable extent, was all submerged, 
 except in those parts of it which now appear as isl 
 ands in those seas. 1 " More regret will be felt that 
 this deserving author should have been thus led 
 away, since he discovers so much of that genuine 
 
7t> MEMOIR ON THE 
 
 modesty which accompanies real merit. There is 
 something almost affecting in the timid manner with 
 which he suggests, that the land which occupied the 
 place of the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans was, " it is 
 probable of very considerable extent. ," 
 
 One more authority only will be adduced for this 
 branch of the subject, but that one will be conclusive. 
 The learned Dr. Mitchill, (Ccntumvir olim) of New- 
 York, who in seconding the opinion of Mr. Jeffer 
 son, Lafon and others, throws so much light on the 
 subject as to place it beyond dispute. An abstract 
 of his opinions, will be sufficient to carry conviction 
 to every candid mind. 
 
 " I avoided the opportunity which this grand con 
 clusion afforded me, of stating that America was the 
 cradle of the human race ; of tracing its colonies 
 westward over the Pacific Ocean, and beyond the 
 sea of Kamschatcka, to new settlements ; of follow 
 ing emigrants by land and by water, until they 
 reached Europe and Africa ; and lastly, of following 
 adventurers from the former of these sections of the 
 globe, to the plantations and abodes which they found 
 and occupied in America. I had no inclination to 
 oppose the current opinions, relative to man s crea 
 tion and dispersion. I thought it was scarcely worth 
 the while to inform an European, that on coming to 
 America, he had left the new word behind him, for 
 the purpose of visiting the old. It ought neverthe 
 less to be remarked, that there are many important 
 advantages derived to our reasoning from this pres 
 ent manner of considering the subject. The princi 
 ples being now established, they will be supported 
 
ANTIQUITY OF THE UNITED STATES. 77 
 
 by a further induction of facts and occurrenceSj to 
 an extent and amount that it is impossible, at this 
 moment fairly to estimate. And the conclusions of 
 Jefferson, Lafon, and others, favourable to the great 
 er antiquity of American population, will be duly re 
 inforced and confirmed."* 
 
 That America was the oldest continent, and its in 
 habitants the most ancient people on the globe, is 
 now fairly proved ; and if this supposition did not 
 accord with reason at first sight, the w r eight of so 
 many great names, as have been cited, will certainly 
 be sufficient to induce every lover of truth to give 
 the matter that careful investigation, which will be 
 inevitably rewarded with conviction. This being es 
 tablished, the second point to be considered, is the 
 antiquity of the United States ; and the extreme re 
 moteness of this could not be placed beyond a doubt, 
 unless the ancient existence of the continent had been 
 first demonstrated. 
 
 Although this part of the subject is more obvious, 
 it is not unaccompanied with difficulties to minds 
 which reflect deeply. To those indeed, whose fri 
 volity and credulity make them receive implicitly, 
 the common cant of this being, " an infant nation, a 
 youthful nation," &c. and who rely upon the most 
 fallible and confused of all sciences, chronology, for 
 their belief, it will be in vain to display a philosophi 
 cal argument ; but to more sound and robust intel 
 lects, the conclusions will appear inevitable. The 
 
 * Dr. Mitchill s syllabus of a course of lectures in Natural 
 History. 
 
 7 * 
 
75 MEMOIR OK THE 
 
 most embarrassing difficulty is, that there are some 
 reasons for carrying back this antiquity to a period 
 so remote, as to involve a considerable degree of 
 contradiction with other known data. One only of 
 these will be particularly alluded to, and that is, the 
 practice of chewing the narcotick plant, nicotiana, 
 or tobacco. The learned Caledonian patrician, lord 
 Monboddo, first shewed satisfactorily, that the human 
 race is derived from a particular species of monkey, 
 which once inhabited the shores of the Mediterrane 
 an ; and who having by chance acquired the use of 
 the muscle which moves the thumb, the paw of the 
 animal was at once converted into the human hand ; 
 and the prodigious advantages arising from this source, 
 enabled them gradually to improve their moral an4 
 physical faculties, obliterate their tails, and become 
 men. It is certain, that in the course of this trans 
 formation, they passed through the state of ruminat 
 ing animals ; but it is almost impossible, that this 
 should not have taken place previous to acquiring 
 the use of speech. Now our ruminating animals 
 have the faculty of speech, and yet it seems cruel, 
 and discordant, when the general benevolence of 
 Mature is considered, that possessing the highest fa 
 culties of men, they should still be subjected to this, 
 in them, hideous, filthy, disgusting process of chew 
 ing the cud. This point may perhaps be elucidated 
 hereafter by further researches. 
 
 The most infallible method of deciding on the real 
 standing of a nation, is not the examination of a few 
 meagre dates, but a comparison of its institutions, 
 its monuments, its manners, with those of others. 
 
ANTIQUITY OF THE UNITED STATES. 1% 
 
 How many leading circumstances are there, that 
 place us on the exact parallel with the most ancient 
 relations, and even conjectures of the primitive state 
 of society. Philosophers have said, that before the 
 formation of societ} , men roamed at large, indepen 
 dent of each other, that they gradually sacrificed 
 a portion of their rights to obtain the security of go 
 vernment. Are we not at the first stages in this re 
 spect, and agreeing perfectly with the state of things 
 in the earliest antiquity ? the first beginnings of the 
 arts were rude and imperfect, architecture, the most 
 ancient of them all, was slow in its progress towards 
 perfection. Are we not coeval with its first advan 
 ces ? do not our buildings plainly manifest, that they 
 were erected when the principles of the art were 
 yet unsettled ? do we not behold Dorick columns with 
 Corinthian proportions, and all the incongruities that 
 accompany the origin of an art ? The knowledge of 
 figures was much posterior to that of letters, and 
 though the use of the latter is generally known, the 
 former is still in its infancy : men in a savage, prime 
 val state can make long speeches, and yet are not 
 able to count ; for have we not lately seen a Conven 
 tion,* the majority of which was so deplorably igno 
 rant, that they could not tell what constituted five- 
 ninths of a given number ! It would be tiresome to 
 exhibit all the illustrations that present themselves. 
 There is one monument among perhaps a thou 
 sand, that may be particularized. In the city of Lon 
 don, there is a stone placed against a wall, which is 
 called London stone. Jt is supposed on solid 
 
 * Brunswick Convention. 
 
80 MEMOIR ON THE 
 
 grounds to be an ancient milliarium of the Ro 
 mans, and it is presumed that it was previously 
 a sacred stone of the Druids ; there is therefore 
 a tolerably clear history of this monument. Now 
 there is in Boston, a quadrangular stone, called 
 the Boston stone, of which nothing is known, its 
 origin is lost in the night of time. It is of the 
 granitick class, which are admitted by geologists to 
 be the most ancient, if this stone then, primitive in 
 every sense, is so ancient that its history is lost, and 
 the London stone, is traced for two or three thou 
 sand years, is it not probable that this is vastly older, 
 since nothing is known respecting it ? Would it not 
 be harder than its own substance to deny this con 
 clusion ? The rock itself is primitive, every vestige 
 of its origin is forgotten, it has therefore existed 
 from the creation of the world. The clearness of 
 this reasoning can only be equalled by the following 
 passage from the celebrated archbishop Bradwar- 
 dine* in his admirable treatise in folio, de natura 
 causarum, (page 853.) " Qnis enim negaverit necesse 
 esse hac necessitate sequente, deumfacere quicquid im 
 mediate Jit ab ipso, f-icut ft hac necessitate omne quod 
 ,vf , quando est necesse est me, et quod Jit ei facium est 9 
 fieri et factum esse, et deum velle sic me." 
 
 * I have heard with great satisfaction from a friend who as- 
 ertained the fact, that the London folio edition of 1616, of this 
 too much neglected author s valuable writings, dc causa Dei con 
 tra Pelagium et de natura causarum, is in the Boston Atheneeum. 
 The young men who frequent that excellent institution will do 
 well to study this volume, and they will regret that there is but 
 
ANTIQUITY OF THE UNITED STATES. 81 
 
 If it were possible, that a doubt could remain on 
 this subject, do not the existence of our learned soci 
 eties prove its absurdity. The Historical Society of 
 Massachusetts has been formed more than twenty 
 years, and has devoted itself constantly to collecting 
 and investigating the antiquities of the country, 
 on which it has published many volumes. Next 
 carne the Historical Society of JVew- York, which 
 has been engaged for some years in the same pur 
 suits. Still the field was too vast for the labour 
 ers ; the American Antiquarian Society was estab 
 lished two years ago, and its location fixed at 
 Worcester, because the road to New-York pas 
 ses through that town. Now may it not be asked 
 with confidence, if the profound archaiologists 
 who compose that society, would have formed 
 their association after so many similar ones already 
 existed, if the objects of its research were not in- 
 exhaustible, and this country the moit ancient in the 
 world ? 
 
MISERIES OF HUMAN LIFE. 
 
 From the North American Review, January, 1817. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 THERE are few books that have been more popu 
 lar than the celebrated u Miseries of Human Life," 
 by Mr. Beresford, because it gave an opportunity to 
 the wretched, to see the calamities they endured, 
 minutely described ; a task which had never before 
 been attempted, and which afforded them much 
 solace. The efforts of succeeding philanthropists 
 can only add to the catalogue, without ever making 
 it complete. I enclose a slight tribute in this way, 
 which will place two more on the list. 
 
 Jl misery in winter. Being present at a great ball 
 having no great passion for dancing the lady you 
 would wish most to dance with, being away after 
 careful reconnoitering, making up your mind to wear 
 out the tediousness of the evening and to lead a 
 particular lady to supper, anticipating from her 
 vivacity and brilliancy, one pleasant hour in the 
 mean time, being requested to take a hand, in order 
 to complete a party at whist having a partner 
 whose temper is not even proof against the vicis?}- 
 
MISERIES OF HUMAN LIFE. s 
 
 tudes of a game at cards losing five points to a man 
 whose income every hour is more than yours for a 
 year and who plays with such slow, hateful, inexo 
 rable prudence, that when you hasten away to TB- 
 trieve the fortune of the evening you find the sup 
 per has already commenced, the places all full and 
 the lady you like most, fairly seated by the man you 
 like least, in the whole assembly ! ! 
 
 A misery in summer. Making one of a party on the 
 water the finest month in the year being selected 
 for the purpose uncommon preparations having 
 been made, the excursion is a matter of notoriety 
 and almost of envy, among all your acquaintance 
 on the appointed day you set off, with the weather 
 doubtful, and the doubt (not the weather) is cleared 
 away, by its proving to blow the hardest gale of wind 
 and the coldest weather that had been experienced 
 withm the memory of man, at that season after 
 lying at anchor all day and catching only a few 
 
 sculpins, you esteem yourself very 
 
 fortunate, by the great exertions of an excellent 
 crew, to get under shelter of some island to pass the 
 night ; vour male friends on shore, all laughing in 
 their sleeve, and your female, trembling in their s ; 
 being obliged to worry out the night on a chair 
 without sleeping, and without a book to read, while 
 a half dozen of your companions are snoring in the 
 small cabin around you in such tones, that they would 
 be sent to the rear of an anrry which was meditating 
 a surprize, if the enemy lay within three miles ; 
 next morning to be landed before sun-rise, cold, 
 
*4 EPIGRAM. 
 
 cramped, sleepy, full of sea qualms, and when has 
 tening home incog, at an hour when none but day- 
 labourers should be stirring, to meet a person, who, 
 from his weather-wise sagacity, had perfidiously pre 
 tended s^me inevitable, sudden engagement the day 
 before, not to be of the party, out of whose way you 
 meant to have kept for a week at least, and who 
 inquires with an insidious grin, " What kind of a 
 time have you had ?" 
 
 EPIGRAM. 
 
 Lines addressed to , Esq. Court- 
 Square, who complained of the disadvantage of weak 
 eyes in the profession of the law. 
 
 Weak eyes are best, be ruled by me, 
 
 To view the joyous omen right, 
 Since able lawyers, all agree, 
 
 Must often have the fee-blest sight. 
 
ON HEARING OF THE DEATH OF A FRIEND IN A 
 FOREIGN COUNTRY. 
 
 From the North American Review, January, 1817, 
 
 FOR THEE THE TEAR BE DULY SHED ! 
 
 FRESH blew the breeze, and the wide swelling sail, 
 Impell d the swift vessel that bore it above, 
 
 Which return d to her home on the wings of the gale, 
 As if eager to meet the embraces of love. 
 
 All hie to the mart where her packets are given, 
 And hastily break the frail seals which they bear, 
 
 Politicians and merchants are equally driven, 
 To seek for events with the visage of care. 
 
 And I too who reck d not of Europe s relations, 
 And still less of Commerce, its losses or gain, 
 
 But who hop d to receive from a far distant station, 
 Some news of a friend, long expected in vain 
 
 Nor was I deceiv d, when impatient at last, 
 That writing familiar which oft could beguile, 
 
 The tedious hours in chill solitude pass d, 
 EKcited at once its habitual smile. 
 8 
 
> LINES ON THE DEATH OF A FRIEND. 
 
 The letter was open d with pleasing emotion, 
 And secret delight that of her I should hear, 
 
 Who had long since excited my warmest devotion. 
 Devotion of friendship, as pure as sincere. 
 
 It told me of her what a chill to the heart, 
 Was suddenly sent, by the first words I read ; 
 
 It told me of her what I dread to impart, 
 It told me, alas ! that bright spirit had fled I 
 
 How crushing the blow which thus comes by surprise, 
 To friends afar off, who hear at one breath, 
 
 That all is completed ! at once to their eyes, 
 A blank void is shewn no sound echoes but death. 
 
 When sickness invades, or when grief undermines, 
 
 Affection is slowly prepar d for the blow, 
 Apprehension is calmed, while hope alternate shines, 
 
 And we slowly approach the infliction of wo. 
 
 But when far remote from the friends we have lov d, 
 Whom we left mid the pleasures of youth and of health, 
 
 The sad tidings are brought us, that death has remov d 
 The person we valu d beyond the world s wealth : 
 
 No warning is given, no sickness is seen, 
 No funereal rites to impress on the heart, 
 
 That the fate which was hardly believ d could have been, 
 Has sped its irrevocable, withering dart. 
 
 We imagine at times, tis some horrible dream, 
 And struggle, though vainly, the mind to persuade, 
 
 That the gloom intervening only should seem, 
 Of distance the veil, not of death the black shade. 
 
 And can it then be I shall ne er see again, 
 One whom I ne er saw except with delight ; 
 
 That I never shall hear that enlivening strain, 
 Which was varied and soft as the songster of night 
 
LINES ON THE DEATH OF A FRIEND. 3? 
 
 Shall I ne er again bask in the beam of that eye, 
 Which was brilliant and speaking, soul-thrilling, yet soft ; 
 
 Ne er breathe forth again the heart-issuing sigh, 
 Which thy ravishing smiles have caused me oft ? 
 
 Is that exquisite person suffused with grace, 
 That mind where vivacity constantly shone ; 
 
 That sparkling good nature which couch d in thy face ; 
 That feeling and taste which ne er left thee alone : 
 
 Are these favours of heaven, these triumphs of art, 
 
 Which envious Fortune so vainly assail d, 
 And more than all these, is the warmth of thy heart, 
 
 All quench d in the grave to be deeply bewail d ? 
 
 If that land where I left thee no longer contains, 
 That form and that soul which I vainly regret, 
 
 If the dark ocean which now between us remains, 
 Is eternity s sea, ne er retravers d as yet ? 
 
 Then farewell to thee ! and the land that contain d thec 1 , 
 Farewell to the place where I lov d thee so well, 
 
 Farewell to the castle the garden the city 
 Dear angelick spirit, a solemn farewell ! 
 
 
A LETTER FROM 
 
 A COUNTRY GENTLEMAN, 
 
 From the North American Review, March, 1817. 
 
 SIR,. 
 
 I DO not know whether my case be a very common 
 one, or if its communication may be of much utility, 
 yet, as a statement of it will cost me very little 
 trouble, and will afford me some gratification, I shall 
 place it at your disposal. I reside in a distant county, 
 owning a few hundred acres of land immediately 
 about me ; I am a magistrate,, and on the days when 
 the militia are trained, I wear a pair of epaulets : in. 
 short, sir, I am what would be called, in England, a 
 country gentleman ; but to prevent any mistakes, I 
 will merely say, that I am your fellow citizen. 
 
 My wife and daughter easily persuaded me to pass 
 two or three months in Boston, to see something of 
 the bustle of life, and to give the latter a chance of 
 mixing a little in fashionable society, to obtain that 
 degree of ease, which is generally wanting in those 
 who lead a life of seclusion. People who live in 
 
A LETTER FROM A COUNTRY GENTLEMAN. 89 
 
 towns, acquire by friction a degree of polish, which 
 those who live wholly in the country can seldom 
 attain ; yet, the latter are composed of materials 
 quite as susceptible of this quality, though it is apt 
 to be obscured under an appearance of rusticity. 
 I was glad, too, at an opportunity of meeting with 
 some old acquaintances, and partaking of that hospi 
 tality, which is almost proverbial. That 1 have not 
 been disappointed in my expectations of pleasure, 
 may, perhaps, be inferred from the trifling com 
 plaints I have to make in this letter ; but you must 
 not think me querulous, and dissatisfied, if 1 find a 
 little fault, which, after all, may be unreasonable ; 
 I do not mean to dictate a reform, or hardly to sug 
 gest an alteration. 
 
 Soon after my arrival, we were invited to " a Ball," 
 the party was brilliant and the supper expensive and 
 elegant. When the company were summoned to 
 the table, the procession towards it was formed with 
 more haste than ceremony ; young men were eager 
 only for precedence, and young girls heedlessly 
 crowded before matrons, who were entitled to their 
 homage. The places at supper were taken promis 
 cuously, and, in many cases, the first should have 
 been last and the last first. Now, sir, I do not wish 
 to introduce that minute attention to rank and eti 
 quette, with all the heart burnings, mortified preten 
 sions, and ennui, which always accompany them, 
 where they are servilely followed ; I would as soon 
 bring back the high-heeled shoes, stiff brocades and 
 high toupees and cushions, in which they were for 
 merly attired. Yet, it seems to me, that a little 
 8* 
 
90 A LETTER FROM 
 
 order, a little deference to age and situation, where 
 affectionate respect is repaid by courtesy and con 
 descension, would add to the charm and good effect^ 
 which result from a moderate share of social gayety, 
 in large refined assemblies. 
 
 My next topic is still more trifling. We received 
 an invitation " to take tea" on a certain evening ; 
 my daughter s friends had told her, they had no doubt 
 it was to be a dance, and she who is as fond of 
 getting possession of the floor as a member of Congress, 
 would not have compounded for six cotillons, and 
 was dressed accordingly. It turned out to be one of 
 those parties where the company, formed into groups, 
 were insulated by constant circulation of ice creams, 
 jellies, sweetmeats, fruit, wine, &c. &c. &c. which 
 meandered about them all the evening. The next 
 invitation was, " to take tea and pass the evening :" 
 my wife and daughter said this was only a modifica 
 tion of the same thing, and the latter went in a cos 
 tume not suited for dancing. Behold this was as 
 much a ball, as if it had been so called at once ; and 
 my poor little girl was mortified at not being pre 
 pared for it. It will no doubt appear ridiculous to 
 you, sir, that I should have felt such trifles as these ; 
 but allow me to say, without offence, that unless you 
 are the father of a lovely interesting daughter, and 
 an only one, you are no judge of the subject. Why 
 not call things by their right names ? un chat un chat ; 
 but even fashion must have its technical mysteries. 
 
 In former times these balls were under the direc 
 tion of very efficient masters of ceremonies ; but as 
 there is no longer any ceremony, I suppose it has 
 
A COUNTRY GENTLEMAN. 91 
 
 been found inexpedient to keep up a sinecure. These 
 masters of ceremonies, however, answered a very 
 good purpose. The office, though of short duration, 
 was an arduous one, and often required more firm 
 ness, skill, and watchfulness, than many civil ones of 
 high import. A crowd or mob of superior people is 
 always more unreasonable and difficult to manage, 
 than a mob in the streets. A master of ceremonies 
 in those days, had to controul the forwardness of 
 youth, and counteract nature, caprice and pride, by 
 equalising the attentions of the men and the enjoy 
 ments of the ladies, while in the dancing room, and 
 marshalling them in something like order, in the 
 supper room. The consequence was, that if some 
 ladies danced more than others, all who wished to 
 dance had an opportunity. I do not make these 
 remarks to avenge my daughter s cause : no, sir, 
 she is one who gains by the license, she dances too 
 well ever to be allowed to sit still, except she prefers 
 it. But I have seen some ladies the victims of 
 neglect in this way, who would not have been suf 
 fered to be so formerly. In these parties there 
 must be constant exertion, on the part of the master 
 of the ceremonies, to prevent usurpation, and to 
 force, if necessary, those sacrifices from individuals, 
 which are demanded for the general enjoyment. 
 Both sexes require this controul. I recollect one of 
 the most accomplished gentlemen in this office, 
 which any country could ever boast of, asking some 
 ladies who were opposing themselves to the regula 
 tions of the evening, at a splendid ball, " if they 
 thought they came there for their own amusement ?" 
 
9J A LETTER FROM 
 
 The days are passed, sir, when such a question as 
 this could be asked, or even comprehended, but it is 
 full of meaning ; and alas ! many other things have 
 passed away also. Another reason for having effi 
 cient masters of ceremonies would be, humanity to 
 some of the gentlemen. A moderate plodding man, 
 whose movements seem to have been learnt, like 
 those of a bear, by having been taught on a heated 
 floor ; such a dancer might consult the director of 
 the evening about a partner suited to him ; for want 
 of this, no doubt, I have seen some poor fellows 
 who followed their skipping, flying partners in a 
 cotillon, in a manner that recalled to mind that line 
 of Johnson, speaking of Shakspeare, where he says, 
 
 And panting Time toil d after him in vain. 
 
 1 have seen such disproportionate couples in this 
 way, as could only be compared to the German fable 
 of the luckless ox, who had nearly lost his life in 
 being yoked with Pegasus. 
 
 The next complaint is on my own account. I was 
 invited to " a symposiack ;" my idea of the nature of 
 this party was very indistinct, my wife and daughter 
 were equally at a loss. On the appointed evening 
 my wife, whose imagination is singularly active, and 
 will sometimes in consequence have her timidity 
 very ludicrously excited, proposed to me, that I 
 should accompany them to the theatre ; I saw her 
 drift, and that she did not feel perfectly easy on the 
 score of this party. I smiled, and told her, I was 
 resolved to find out what it was. On entering the 
 
A eOUNTRY GENTLEMAN. 93 
 
 room, I found several individuals, distinguished for 
 their pursuit of science and literature. The mate 
 rials were good, but it went off heavily, and I found 
 myself obliged to be on my guard against yawning. 
 At supper I engaged in conversation with a gentle 
 man along side of me. Thirty years ago, I went, in 
 regular course, through the mathematics, metaphy 
 sics and the Classics, and obtained the usual literary 
 degrees. I have, however, no pretensions to learn 
 ing, and have, for many years, attended more to its 
 results, than its forms. Having made some remark 
 to my neighbour, who, though a metaphysician, was 
 a very pleasant man ; he began in the Socratic form, 
 and having had the simplicity to answer his questions, 
 I found, before I was aware of it, that he had treach 
 erously caught me in a net, where I was too much 
 enthralled to extricate myself. In this situation, a 
 strange pedant, opposite, pelted me with a shower 
 of hard words, every one of which left a contusion. 
 I made my escape as soon as I could, and on getting 
 home, the moment I entered the room, my daughter 
 sprang to meet me, " well, dear Father, what kind 
 of a party was it ?" My wife bid her not be so im 
 patient, and, in the same breath, said, " come, what 
 was this party ?" I told my child to get the diction 
 ary. u The Dictionary ! well we never thought of 
 that, but I don t believe there is any such word in 
 the English Dictionary." She read me the explana 
 tion, " Symporiack) relating to merry making . " I 
 told them the story, and resolved never to go te 
 another. 
 
SKETCH OF 
 
 AN INCURSION INTO THE OLD COLONY.* 
 
 A PARTY of four gentlemen, labouring under a 
 temporary satiety of State-street, the Athenaeum, 
 wedding visits and the mill-dam, projected an incur 
 sion to the old colony for a change of scene. To 
 speak strictly, two of them were individuals ; 
 the other two are under engagements, which by all 
 laws, human and divine, constitute them what a meta 
 physician would term, mixed essences. This slight 
 difference of condition modified their judgment of 
 the objects which fell under their observation, in 
 such a moderate degree as to produce a more just 
 appreciation of them. The following is a hasty 
 sketch of the general result of their observations, 
 put down to relieve the ennui of those who are suf 
 fering at home, without energy to make a similar ef 
 fort. 
 
 * This tour was first published in the Boston Daily Advertiser. 
 It was begun as a kind of jest while the party were chatting in 
 the padour of the inn at Sandwich, and without any view to 
 such a serious operation as printing. It was voted however, to 
 have it finished and published. The notes are now added to it. 
 
TOUR TO SANDWICH. 95 
 
 Oct. 12. Left Boston for Plymouth a fresh N. 
 W. wind and transparent atmosphere. At Quincy 
 had the honour of bowing to the venerable Presi 
 dent Adams, who was walking half a mile from home, 
 with a firm step, and without any attendant. It may 
 be safely affirmed, that in no country of the world, 
 could a traveller at this moment meet with a man of 
 the same eminence and the same age and if such 
 an individual should be found, the same simplicity 
 would in vain be sought for. No other event hap 
 pened on the road to Plymouth worth noticing, ex 
 cept one of the gentlemen driving off from the half 
 way house, supposing his companion to have walked 
 on, and giving him a walk of six miles, a match 
 against time, before he could overtake him. This 
 was an error of judgment, which in the individual 
 who made it, was an exception to a general rule. 
 
 At Plymouth, to our great dismay, we found the 
 ^upreme Court in session ; and of course, the num 
 bers which on these occasions invade a small coun 
 ty town, leave the chance of a comfortable lodging 
 very slight. However, we obtained the great de 
 sideratum of three single bedded rooms, and decided 
 by lot who should be the victim of a double one. 
 In the evening, found the usual assortment of clients 
 and lawyers, some with too much and some with too 
 little business. A cause had just been decided about 
 the warranty of a horse, which had lasted a day and a 
 half, and astonished the laity with a display of profes 
 sional ingenuity. One of these spectators seemed 
 anxious to give us the history of the case, and made 
 several leading observations with that design, but our 
 
9 TOUR TO SANDWICH. 
 
 sullen want of curiosity thwarted him. The Con 
 vention was the principal topic of conversation 
 and, to our surprise, some interest about it was ex 
 pressed. Though a little incredulous at first, we 
 were convincad that at least four or five persons in 
 this county had read all the numbers of B, G., B. G., 
 jr. and B. G.ter. 
 
 13tfi. Walked after breakfast to survey the town, 
 which has fewer marks of antiquity than could be 
 expected ; none of the buildings go back to even 
 the third generation of the colony. Plymouth is a 
 respectable village built on the side of a hill that 
 rises rather steeply from the harbour, the summit of 
 which may be about 150 feet above it, and is occu 
 pied as a burial place, where the forefathers and 
 their descendants repose together. It contains sev 
 eral handsome houses, and the people derive their 
 support from the fisheries, foreign commerce and 
 manufactures. A substantial stone gaol has just been 
 completed, which the wants of the county fortunate 
 ly do not require to be of large dimensions, and a 
 new Court House of brick and stone is now erect 
 ing, which it is said will be the best in the state. 
 Their manufactories are on a small stream that flows 
 through the town, and consist of a very extensive 
 one for nails, another for shovels and spades, one for 
 anchors, and one for cotton. Their fishery this year 
 has done well ; the vessels to the streights of Bell- 
 isle, made great fares those to the banks less. 
 The mackerel fishery has been about an average 
 one a vessel caught one hundred barrels in eight 
 days. The opening in the beach has been stopped, 
 
TOUR TO SANDWICH. 97 
 
 and the sand is beginning to collect over it. Their 
 foreign commerce is small ; one vessel has just arriv 
 ed with a cargo of Salt from St. Ubes, and another 
 had just discharged a cargo of Iron from Russia 
 half a dozen coasting and fishing vessels comprised 
 the remainder of the navigation in port. The sea- 
 view from the burial ground is extensive ; the prin 
 cipal objects are Monumet point and highlands on 
 the right the long sandy beach that forms the har 
 bour, which is far from being of the first class, in 
 front Duxbury and Captain s Hill on the left, with 
 the termination of Duxbury beach called the Gur 
 net, and its two light houses. 
 
 We walked down to the rock, which stands imbed 
 ded in a wharf near the edge of the high water 
 line. A part of it, weighing three or four tons, was 
 broken off and carried to the Market House in the 
 centre of the town the surface of the remaining part 
 is flat and about six feet in diameter. The piece 
 that was carried to the market house has been white 
 washed, a mark of respect that the mineralogist 
 would feel very sensibly. The forefathers rock, as 
 it is called, is now visited by hundreds every year, 
 as it will be by thousands in all succeeding time. On 
 this rock the passengers of the May Flower landed 
 on the 22d of December, 1620. What debarkation 
 in the world ever was attended with such momen 
 tous and beneficent consequences, as followed that 
 of the few English gentlemen and yeomen, who then 
 landed with their families on this barren, inclement 
 spot ! They persevered with heroic constancy : they 
 apace, and they laid the foundation for the slow 
 9 
 
98 TOUR TO SANDWICH. 
 
 and certain growth of " the manners, principles, and 
 feelings" which led to the American revolution, 
 founded our republic on the hroadest and noblest 
 foundations of justice, and perfected the system of 
 representation. Representation is now the cry and 
 claim of every nation ; and they will have it, though 
 after many a scene of blood and crime. A comme 
 moration of this landing is annually celebrated by a 
 discourse, a dinner and ball. Next December, is a 
 jubilee, the completion of a second century, and 
 great expectations are entertained of the orator 
 on this occasion, which we may be certain will not 
 be disappointed.* 
 
 Our next visit was to the Register s office, where 
 we saw the early records of the Plymouth Colony, 
 amounting to about twenty volumes. They were 
 
 * Without pretending to define the exact degree of skill requir 
 ed to make this prediction, it need only be said that it was com 
 pletely fulfilled. A very large audience were highly gratified by 
 the discourse of Mr. Webster, and the most competent judges 
 agreed, that so powerful an effect had rarely been produced by 
 any oration in this country. The little town of Plymouth was 
 never so animated before, being crowded with visitors from the 
 capital, and from all the neighbouring counties. A public Din 
 ner and Ball were given in very handsome style, at which about 
 600 persons were present. The guests on the occasion of this 
 Jubilee all wrote their names on a parchment deposited ia 
 the archicves of the Pilgrim Society. It would be an extra 
 ordinary chance indeed, if one of these signers should survive 
 to the next centennial festival. If some of the forefathers could 
 have peeped in upon this crowded assembly, where so much fash 
 ion and elegance were collected, they would have wondered and 
 perhaps frowned, at the progress of luxury among their pos 
 terity. 
 
TOUR TO SANDWICH. 99 
 
 last year put in fine order at the expense of the 
 state, under the care of a committee of gentlemen, 
 and are now rescued from their perishing condition. 
 For this service the public are much indebted to the 
 Rev. Dr. Freeman. These records are civil, judi 
 cial, religious, economical, &c. journals of marriages, 
 deaths, &c. They offer many curious, minute and 
 most authentic details. The founders of our nation 
 were neither suckled by a wolf, nor leaders of ban 
 ditti : but they were nurtured under the sternest ad 
 versity, and always governed by the severest princi 
 ples of morality. There is nothing fabulous about 
 them. Their whole conduct was open, known, re 
 corded. With what reverence will after ages trace 
 back the long stream of empire to these its primitive 
 sources ! to which they may recur by retracing the 
 rivulet of history to its fountain heads. Some of 
 these records which related to civil and judicial acts 
 were copied, and the copies placed in the Secretary 
 of State s office. The originals are all in the charge 
 of the Register of Deeds for the County. It is worthy 
 of remark that this office has been in the family of 
 the present incumbent 116 years. His father and 
 grandfather held it before him, and the place is be 
 stowed by popular election. 
 
 After paying our homage to the antiquities of the. 
 place, we set out for Sandwich, a distance of sixteen 
 miles, and to be candid, not a very interesting ride. 
 The road lies chiefly though woods, and is in many 
 places a deep sand. The Sacrifice rocks, covered by 
 dry sticks by the Indians, who never pass them with 
 out an offering of this kind, the remnant of some 
 
100 TOUR TO SAKDWICH. 
 
 unknown superstition, and one or two ponds, are the 
 only objects to attract attention unless the traveller 
 will follow our example and climb the high lands of 
 Monurnet, at the first stopping place, about seven 
 miles from Plymouth from thence he will have a 
 wide reach over the Plymouth and Sandwich forests, 
 and a most commanding one of Barnstable bay, to 
 the extremity of Race point, and will perceive in 
 what a remarkable way Cape Cod partly encircle* 
 it. There is another very picturesque view of the 
 sea near Ellis s, five miles from Sandwich. The 
 whole scenery at this spot is of a romantic cast. It 
 is proposed to make a turnpike from Plymouth to 
 Sandwich it can be done at a small expense. The 
 distance will be shortened four miles, the road will 
 be smooth and hard, instead of deep sand, and it 
 will be more agreeable by passing near several fine 
 ponds. 
 
 We reached Sandwich in the afternoon, and gave 
 a brief order for dinner u every thing there was in 
 the house" having a most esurient longing, worthy 
 of a municipality, for the good things of this region of 
 game. The next order was to send for John Trout, to 
 engage him during our stay. This second name, like 
 that of Scipio Jlfricanus, is the reward of the most 
 distinguished services. His piscatory exploits and 
 minute knowledge of all the haunts, habits and con 
 nexions of some of our most valuable fishes, entitle 
 him to the honour of a distinguished place among 
 the Icthyologists in the New-York Academy, and we 
 hope this hint will fall under their notice. John is in 
 fact a man of so much renown, that those who have 
 
TOUR TO SANDWICH. 101 
 
 never heard of him would do well to conceal their 
 misfortune, for to any luckless inquirer he will or 
 might say, 
 
 Not to know me argues yourself unknown ; 
 The meanest of your tribe. 
 
 His skill and alacrity were shewn in some very 
 fine trout, that graced our breakfast table the next 
 morning. 
 
 1 4th. This was one of those exquisite days, of 
 vernal softness and autumnal ripeness harmoniously 
 blended, when the scattered clouds that were floating 
 under the mildest cerulean sky, we might almost 
 fancy to be the vehicles that were bearing about the 
 spirits of the blest, high above this nether world of 
 strife, conventions and cattle shows one of those 
 days, in short, in which every feeling mind would 
 bless the memory of our forefathers, for having 
 landed here. It were to be wished we had more of 
 them. We proceeded together, John as an out 
 rider, to u Deacon Nye^s brook," about five miles 
 from Sandwich village on the road to Barnstable. 
 Here under the auspices of John, auspice Teucro, 
 one of .the party commenced snipe shooting and the 
 other trout catching. The other two continued on, 
 one of them to make a call at Great Marshes, and 
 the other to visit Barnstable, where he had never 
 been before, and which he found very little chang 
 ed.* Great Marshes is a fertile spot where the Otis 
 
 * There are all kinds of readers. One of the rc/Iccl ing 
 objected to this passage as being a bull. Another regretted the 
 mistake of calling Mr. Watson an " old tory !" 
 9* 
 
102 TOUR TO SANDWICH. 
 
 family have continued for five generations, and 
 where the celebrated patriot James Otis was born. 
 From one of the family, we were obligingly fur 
 nished with a few documents for the Historical Soci 
 ety. One of these we copy as very characteristic of 
 the feelings that were excited on a most memorable 
 occasion ; one of the few battles where human blood 
 has not been shed in vain, and where the blood of 
 patriots became the seed of liberty. It is dictated 
 in haste, and under the impulse of the moment, and 
 was written by the late W. Watson of Plymouth 
 to Col. Freeman of Sandwich, and endorsed on the 
 outside, " please to forward this to Col. Otis of 
 Barnstable, after Col. Freeman has read it." 
 
 PLYMOUTH, APRIL 24, 1775. 
 
 DEAR COL. FREEMAN. I congratulate you and our 
 good Friends at Sandwich, on the grandest event 
 that ever took place in America, I mean the late bat 
 tle at Concord et cceleris. That 7 hundred poor, des 
 pised yankeys (I glory in the name) should have 
 put to flight and totally defeated 17 hundred of Lord 
 North s best picked Troops, consisting of Grenadiers 
 and Earl Percy s Regiment of Welch Fusileers, are 
 circumstances deeply mortifying to those who thought 
 themselves invincible. One of our Kingston Friends 
 was at Boston when the Vanquished Troops returned, 
 and was at the Ferry when they were brought over, 
 who says that he cannot express the mortification, 
 the disappointment and the chagrin that appeared in 
 their countenances cart loads of wounded hurried 
 to the hospital (many of whom are since dead,) their 
 
TOUR TO SANDWICH. 103 
 
 mouths belching out curses and execrations, the par 
 ticulars are too many to enumerate. We have dis 
 armed our torys and they are in a most melancholy 
 situation, and are begging and sueing for reconcilia- 
 ation on any terms. We are in high spirits and dont 
 think it is in the power of all Europe to subjugate us, 
 for it is evident that the God of Hosts has declared in 
 our favour, and to this God let us ascribe all the glo 
 ry and ail the praise. r l he poor wicked Mandamus 
 gentry are fled to the ships, and to what can they fly 
 to next. ! am sure they have not a good conscience 
 to fly to ; I wish them future happiness, but 1 cannot 
 in conscience wish them much good in this life. I 
 sincerely wish and most heartily pray that a proper 
 sense of this very remarkable interposition of Pro 
 vidence in our favour may have a proper effect on 
 the minds of a much injured and greatly insulted 
 people. Ned Winslow was in the action and had his 
 horse shot under him. George Leonard we hear is 
 killed, and Billy Coffin s son who lived with the in 
 famous P. Sewall died of his wound soon after action 
 under a stone wall. Vengeance belongeth unto God. 
 I am, Sir, with much esteem and most sincere af 
 fection, your humble Servant, in great haste. 
 
 W. WATSON * 
 
 * The hearsays given at the close of this letter about certain 
 individuals, were mistakes, natural enough amidst the multiplied 
 and agitating rumours of the moment. But the letter shews in a 
 very lively manner, with what intense and anxious interest that 
 great crisis was regarded, and of what vast moment it was in 
 the skirmish at Lexington, that troops who were held to be not 
 only invincible but almost invulnerable, should be harrassed 
 
104 TOUR TO SANDWICH. 
 
 In the troublous times which preceded the present 
 millennium, the writer of the above letter was turned 
 out of office, by President Jefferson, for being an 
 " old tory !" 
 
 We dined at four on the proceeds of the day s 
 sport, aided with a few supplementary dishes, of 
 which it is only necessary to particularize tortaug, 
 and Sandwich mutton. This latter is worthy of all 
 praise ; it resembles exactly the mutton of " the 
 Downs of Britain," considered the finest on the island 
 4i of that ilk." Suffice it to say that a gastrologer 
 would devour it, a gastronomer enjoy it, and a 
 gastrophilist appreciate it. John very candidly said 
 that trout were now out of season ; the best months 
 for them are May and June. He agreed that the 
 trout of Coatuit were among the best, but then " the 
 natives," (he rhymed them with knives) " were 
 great poachers in that stream," (their own domain !) 
 Before we dismiss the meritorious John, a piece of 
 his reasoning may be recorded, that partakes a little 
 of the raciness of his Hibernian origin. When ask 
 ing him what was due for his services, merely to 
 ascertain the fact, with no paltry, trading notions of 
 cavilling about the price this would not have done 
 with one of his lofty pursuits, the occupation of the 
 privileged ones of the earth he told us, " his wages 
 were a dollar and a quarter a day ; that was the 
 
 and foiled in the first action of the long conflict that was to 
 ensue. The philosophic historian in after tiroes would be glad 
 to find a document so expressive of the sympathy of the citizens 
 at the crisis of commencing a hazardous contest, whose conse 
 quences were, are, and will be, so momentous. 
 
TOUR TO SANDWICH. l(tf 
 
 price when grain was two dollars a bushel, and it 
 was the same now it was half a dollar, he made no 
 difference." 
 
 15th Sunday. We went over to the Massapee 
 Indian meeting-house, which is situated in the midst 
 of the forest near Coatuit brook. The Rev. Mr. 
 Fish has the present charge of this mission, and the 
 living is the best in the county. The congregation 
 is motley in regard to complexion. The pulpit and 
 four pews occupy one side of the house, a gallery is 
 opposite to them, and the rest ef the building is 
 divided into body seats, in which according to the 
 old fashion, the men sit on one side the women on 
 the other. Unaware of this, and entering after 
 prayer had begun, we took the female side, but the 
 deacon came down and very courteously apprised us 
 of our mistake, which we immediately rectified. 
 Five or six of the upper seats on each side are 
 appropriated to the tribe, the remainder to the 
 people called whites, whatever may be the shade of 
 their skin. The day was lowering, and at times 
 rainy the whole congregation therefore did not 
 exceed sixty. Of these, eighteen were people of 
 colour, in one third of which, African, and in the re 
 mainder Indian blood prevailed. One of the deacons 
 is black. In the two pews to the right of the pulpit 
 there was a man and woman of Indian physiognomy, 
 who would have excited attention any where. The 
 sermon was sensible, mixing up the necessity of faith 
 and works in discreet proportions. The tribe now 
 consists of a hundred families j the men are mostly 
 employed as sailors from Nantucket and New Bed- 
 
JOB TOUR TO SANDWICH. 
 
 ford in the whale fishery. Each family cultivates a 
 small spot, their right to which is prescriptive. 
 The whole of their lands are held in common. 
 Fish of various kinds, and particularly shell-fish, form 
 their principal food. Their meeting-house is sur 
 rounded by a burying-ground, over a considerable 
 part of which the trees have grown to a full size. 
 We observed only two grave-stones with inscriptions, 
 one to " Flora, a faithful servant of Mr Hawley," 
 the late missionary, and the other to Deacon Pop- 
 munnet who died in 1771. This celebrated family 
 of the Popmunnets or Popmonnets is now we believe 
 extinct. The people of this tribe dress like the 
 whites and use their language. They reside many 
 of them about Massapee pond one of the most 
 extensive and perhaps the most beautiful, of the 
 lakes in this state. 
 
 16^. A violent easterly gale accompanied with 
 excessive rain. Sandwich is one of the most pleasing 
 villages in Massachusetts. In the centre of it there 
 is a mill-pond, which forms a fine sheet of water and 
 turns two rustic mills. Two meeting-houses, an 
 academy and several dwelling houses are placed on 
 its borders. The inns in Sandwich are excellent 
 and the charges moderate. To persons fond of 
 fishing, shooting, or riding, it offers greater resources 
 than any other spot in this country. Snipes, plovers, 
 quails and partridges are abundant; and the deer 
 are multiplying since the law that was passed a few 
 years ago for their protection. Coatuit, Wanquoit, 
 Monumet and fifty other brooks are full of the finest 
 trout, and the ponds, which are very numerous, 
 
TOUR TO SANDWICH. ij7 
 
 abound in perch, &c. Both bays are full of sea fish, 
 and in Buzzard s bay, oysters and other kinds of 
 shell-fish are very plenty. The roads through the 
 woods towards the Vineyard Sound are excellent, 
 and offer the means of many pleasant excursions. 
 Towards evening we rode down to the beach, at the 
 point where the different surveys have marked the 
 entrance of the canal, which will be about seven 
 miles in length through a level district. The tides 
 from the two bays flow to within four miles of each 
 other. Barnstable bay is one of the cleanest and 
 most regular bays in the world, entirely free from 
 rocks or shoals. We looked on the beach for shells, 
 but found only three or four common kinds. Its 
 principal produce is paving-stones for the streets of 
 Boston a great many cargoes of wood are also 
 annually shipped from Sandwich. 
 
 The aspect of the country below Plymouth differs 
 from that of the rest of the state. There is a dis 
 trict of nearly twenty miles square that is chiefly 
 covered with wood, for the growth of which it is 
 more valuable than for any other purpose. Thousands 
 of cords are annually exported to various towns in 
 Massachusetts, Rhode-Island, &c. Some parts of 
 Sandwich resemble districts in Surry and Sussex in 
 England. As you proceed down the Cape, the sand 
 becomes more predominant. But here and there 
 spots of the finest land can be found. The people 
 are hardy and enterprising ; farmers, fishermen, 
 ship-builders and seamen, and sometimes the same 
 individual follows these employments successively. 
 Their population is stationary but they send off 
 
108 TOUR TO SANDWICH. 
 
 numerous recruits to other districts. The State of 
 Maine owes most of its inhabitants originally to the 
 Cape. You may see a good deal of poor land, but 
 rery few poor men. The whole appearance of the 
 population is solid, substantial and comfortable. 
 
 17/ft. A cloudy morning We could say much of 
 the kindness and good will of our host, Capt. Swift 
 and his wife, but it is not necessary. We obliqued 
 to the South on our return home. On the borders 
 of Wareham met a man with his gun, waiting for 
 deer. He had sent his dog in and was waiting for 
 the deer to pass this is the common practice in 
 hunting them as the covers are very close. If the 
 deer could have seen this man s phiz, it would have 
 startled him more effectually than the dog. Our 
 route lay along Buzzard s Bay, through Wareham 
 and Rochester, thence to Middleborough and Bridge- 
 water. During this route we passed many small 
 streams and ponds, on several of which, are Cotton 
 Manufactories and Iron works. At Wareham 8 or 
 10 vessels were taking in wood, or discharging iron 
 ore. This ore is brought from New-Jersey, and 
 then carted from hence to various iron works in this 
 vicinity. Before leaving the sea shore, we must 
 make one remark as to the relative size of our 
 territory. Some persons feel abashed when they 
 see the territorial extent of some of the States, and 
 compare it with the small superficies of Massa 
 chusetts ; but to get at a just calculation, they ought 
 to add triple the amount of land from the surrounding 
 sea. There are acres in this sea which produce 
 annually five times as much as the richest fields ia 
 
TOUR TO SANDWICH. 109 
 
 the South and the West,* and the population floating 
 about on it, is greater than their s to the square mile, 
 and the property in the vessels greater than their s 
 in houses. One must visit closely all the sinuosities 
 of our coast, to understand the activity, enterprize 
 and wealth in which they abound ; the neighbouring 
 sea is part of our domain we have furrowed it so 
 constantly, that we may claim it as much as any 
 ploug-hed field, and we derive more from it than 
 any field can produce. I say nothing of the charac 
 ter of a population, that has the sea open to them, 
 compared with one pent up in the interior of a 
 continent. Tastes often depend on locality ; we 
 should not like to live in a society, that was not 
 ventilated by the sea breeze. 
 
 Our ride this day was for five or six miles, along 
 the Assawampset pond in Middleborough, presenting 
 many beautiful views. It was on the borders of this 
 pond, that the friendly Indian Sausaman was assassi 
 nated by order of King Philip ; which murder was 
 a prelude to the war, that ended in the destruction of 
 that celebrated chieftain and the ruin of his tribe. 
 We came to Bridge water to sleep at Pratt s inn, 
 an excellent house which we recommend to all 
 travellers, who wish to meet with neatness, good 
 fare, civility and kind treatment ; but a new and 
 unexpected disaster awaited us : Nothing less than 
 a village dance of twenty couples. They had come 
 
 * The acres alluded to, are those, where a plummet can hardly 
 reach the bottom without striking a fish. Fisher Ames said, 
 that " every cod-fish drawn up had a pistareen in his mouth. 1 
 
 10 
 
110 TOUR TO SANDWICH. 
 
 from a neighbouring town, began to dance at four m 
 the afternoon, and danced till four in the morning. 
 Strange that, in one short week, we should thus 
 have been discomfited both by Themis and Terpsi 
 chore. However, a moment s reflection made us 
 submit to this last mishap with cheerfulness. Our 
 country towns are too much infested with cant, and 
 gloom, and fanaticism. The spirits and blood are 
 curdled and gangrened by them. Youth requires 
 amusement, and when this can be united with healthy 
 and graceful exercise, it is doubly advantageous. 
 A little more of innocent gayety would help to deve- 
 lope their faculties, produce more vigorous health, 
 and animate them to the discharge of all their duties. 
 With these reflections, we willingly gave up a night s 
 rest to the good of the commonwealth. 
 
 IQlh. A North-East wind, bearing on its dingy 
 wings a soaking mist, directly in our faces. It was 
 precisely one of the cases, in which a wit in this 
 vicinity observed, that whatever the law might hold, 
 he considered it very different to face it per alium, 
 rather than to face it per se* The ride from Bridge- 
 water through Stoughton y Randolph, Milton and 
 Dorchester, is a very pleasing one. The road lies 
 through the notch of the Blue-Hills ; the country is 
 
 * This legal pun, was made by a gentleman recently deceas 
 ed, the late Hon. Timothy Bigelow of Medford, after being 
 exposed to a biting North- West wind during a long ride, in a 
 very inclement winter day. This gentleman was known to the 
 public, for the many civil offices he had usefully filled ; and 
 will be long remembered by his acquaintance for his stores of 
 humour and anecdote. 
 
TOUR TO SANDWICH. Ill 
 
 a fine one, and in an improving condition. We 
 observed some solid, stone houses recently built. 
 Some of the views on this road are picturesque and 
 romantic. We advise every one to try it in a fair 
 day. If such had been our fate, we should have had 
 much more to say it is therefore lucky it was not. 
 The month of October has been very shabby this 
 year. But this moon came of a Saturday we were 
 told how it would be. Let travellers beware of a 
 Saturday s moon. We reached the capital well 
 satisfied. 
 
 Bostoniwn longce finis chartceque viwque est. 
 
SECRET CAUSES 
 
 AMERICAN AND FRENCH REVOLUTIONS. 
 
 A WISH to acquire the German language, combined 
 with other motives, induced me a few years since, 
 to reside for a considerable period, in a German 
 town between the Elbe and the Rhine. This city, 
 like almost every other in that book-producing 
 country, had its circle of literary men and authors : 
 a suitable introduction procured me admission to a club 
 of these gentlemen, who assembled regularly once 
 a week, and some of whom fell into company with 
 each other almost every day. In this circle were 
 two or three romance writers and dramatists, but 
 the greater number was made up of those literary 
 confectioners, who preserve a small kernel in such 
 a mass of paste and sugar, that all its flavour and 
 proportions are completely lost in the cumbrous en 
 velope ; in short, without a figure, the society con 
 tained some of the most formidable commentators in 
 all Deutchland. 
 
SECRET CAUSES, &c. us 
 
 I was often at a loss in our meetings, when they 
 were engaged in their favorite pursuit of embalming 
 some particular passage in an ancient classic ; which, 
 after being completely embowelled, and drugged 
 and swathed, bore as little resemblance to the ani- 
 n \tion of the original, as an Egyptian mummy to the 
 person it was intended to perpetuate. On these oc 
 casions I had recourse to smoaking, an accomplish 
 ment I attained even quicker than the language, 
 and being provided with a beautiful pipe of ecume 
 de mer, an exchange of tokens with my friend the 
 Graf von Fumendorf, I speedily enveloped myself in 
 a cloud, and in this secure situation, heedless of all 
 the crabbed words and Babel din around me, be 
 gan at once some castle in the air, my pipe serving 
 all the purposes of the wonderful lamp, and trans 
 porting me and my edifices, with as much rapidity, 
 as it did the palace of Aladdin : if at these moments 
 my friends had been on the lookout, they might 
 have often seen their shadows, sweeping over the 
 place where I am now writing. 
 
 The town offered no great resources, I was there 
 fore glad to be an honorary member of this club, 
 where if the subjects of discussion became too ab 
 struse, I could seat myself in one corner unnoticed. 
 \nother consideration induced me to attend its 
 meetings, one of the most zealous members with 
 whom it would have been almost an offence to have 
 lightly valued the privilege of admission, had a 
 family which pleased me, where I was allowed to 
 visit at my ease. He was himself a worthy, agreea 
 ble man, when taken out of his pedantic course ol 
 10* 
 
114 SECRET CAUSES OF THE 
 
 conversation. He had a sister of nearly his own 
 age, which was the upper side of fifty. Her figure 
 approached the Doric proportion, as that allows five 
 diameters of the column for its height, though na 
 ture had given her person, only one and a quarter. 
 She had resolved to lead a single life, and " this re 
 solution made the happiness of some unknown indi 
 vidual ;" but though she had declined a duet obligate 
 for life, she was still very fond of music, and pur 
 sued it as indefatigably, as her brother did his exe- 
 getical studies. A sonata of an hour s length had 
 no terrors for her, and if it was only difficult, she 
 cared not how long it was. Woelfe appeared at 
 times to please her, as much as Haydn, or Mozart : 
 yet when she descended from the higher abstrac 
 tions of the science, she could display a delicate 
 taste and true sensibility for what was intrinsically 
 beautiful. This lady was besides anxious to know 
 iiow the world went on, and had a friend at the 
 Courts of Vienna and Weimar, whose punctual cor 
 respondence furnished her with abundance of anec 
 dote, which she imparted with discreet liberality. 
 She had for her companion a niece, who was a most 
 delightful German specimen. With much candour 
 and simplicity, she possessed a great deal of mild 
 enthusiasm, that excited a tranquil and gentle kind of 
 pleasure, without any dread of that deep and dange 
 rous contagion, which the same quality is apt to 
 create in southern Italy. Her tastes were extreme 
 ly national, she could waltz for hours together with 
 out being dizzy ; believed the sorrows of Werter a 
 much finer production than Gil Bias, and doubtless 
 
AMERICAN AND FRENCH REVOLUTIONS. 115 
 
 now prefers the novels of Auguste La Fontaine, to 
 Guy Mannering and the Tales of my Landlord. 
 Her accent was the purest and softest Saxon, and 
 Carracioli who would not learn the German, because 
 he could not speak it of a Sunday, without violating 
 the fourth commandment, would have given up his 
 prejudice, if he had heard her lisp all its sweetness, 
 inferior only to his own Italian. Beneath a fair 
 forehead, and the flaxen locks which clustered over 
 it in beautiful ringlets, her eyes beamed full of art 
 less, genial expression, and they were covered with 
 eyelids of such soft and lucid beauty, that when 
 closed, they only softened the rays that traversed 
 them, operating like the globe of a moonlight lamp, 
 but these eyes neither were, nor are, any thing to 
 me, integer laudo. 
 
 Such were the three persons, who composed the 
 family in which 1 was most intimate ; but there was 
 another individual who though only a guest like my 
 self, formed almost a part of it. This personage 
 was a French emigrant, an ultra royalist with the 
 manners of the old school, under which however, he 
 possessed a good deal of originality. He made the 
 campaigns of our revolutionary war, as Major of the 
 Regiment of Soissonois ; of which ancient corps the 
 only vestige now existing, if the expression may be 
 permitted, is the uniform of our Boston Cadets, 
 which was copied from that of this regiment. Un 
 like most persons of his political opinions, he felt no 
 bitterness against a country, to whose independence, 
 many politicians attributed the subsequent convul 
 sions of Europe. On the contrary, like a certain 
 
116 SECRET CAUSES OF THE 
 
 fleeting Emperor,* he loved the Americans, though 
 after a different manner ; and this partiality, joined 
 to his local knowledge of my country, the com 
 mon condition of being strangers, and our equal dis 
 like of endless grammarians and commentators, made 
 us sympathise together. Indeed we formed an ex 
 ample to prove, how completely men with good 
 feelings and good manners may harmonize, though 
 cherishing very different principles. My friend the 
 Viscount de C , though he could not shew proofs of 
 sixteen quarters, or boast of having one of the 
 " historical names " of France, was yet a gentleman 
 of ancient family, which had retained this title more 
 than two centuries ; he was a rigid royalist, I was a 
 stern republican ; he was extremely irritable and 
 sometimes strongly excited by trifles, while I 
 thought there were few things in this world worth 
 getting into a passion about. We were both vic 
 tims of the ordinary discussions of the club before 
 mentioned ; but instead of my consolation of smoaking, 
 the Viscount went soundly to sleep, amidst the 
 wreck of nouns and verbs. In the family where we 
 daily visited, there was no rivalship 5 while I was 
 admiring Christina s eyes, and vainly trying to imi 
 tate her soft Saxon accents, she all the while em 
 broidering muslin, for Arachne herself was not more 
 indefatigable, and occasionally smiling at my ridicu 
 lous mistakes ; the Viscount was accompanying the 
 aunt, with his violin through one of those intermi 
 nable, German Sonatas, interrupted once in a while 
 by some discussion about time, or the fingering of a 
 
 :>:: Fuit /He must be judged by posterity. 
 
AMERICAN AND FRENCH REVOLUTIONS. 117 
 
 passage. They were both unrelenting musicians, 
 and he had many strange whims connected with 
 Music, some of which it is my purpose to relate. 
 
 The members of our society could vie with al 
 most any other in Germany, in the quantity of their 
 products ; and every fair at Leipsic was enriched by 
 their labours. In the course of the year, in which 
 I became acquainted with them, they had produced 
 a commentary on Silius Italicus in a thick octavo ; 
 illustrations of Pacuvius in two duodecimos ; a quarto 
 on the Phenician language, which was as thick as it 
 was square, closely resembling the authors head in 
 this particular ; and two or three small pamphlets, to 
 clear some supposed doubts on a passage in the 
 second Georgic. But as Virgil dipped his pen in 
 the purest fount of Castalia, the passage remained 
 clear, in spite of their explanations. Twice a year 
 they had a relaxation from these severer toils, and 
 then, one meeting of the club was devoted to lighter 
 occupations. The Viscount and myself were invited 
 to join in the first occasion of this kind that occur 
 red, after we had been introduced to them, when 
 they had decided to have a pic me, for which every 
 member was to bring an adverb. 
 
 This festal meeting recalled to mind, Home 
 Tooke s reason for writing his Diversions of Purley, 
 " that he had nearly fallen a victim to one conjunc 
 tion and two prepositions ;" and I did not know what 
 my fate might be, in this shock of adverbs. Resolved 
 however, to fall with arms in my hand, I selected 
 that beautiful compound from the Pequod language, 
 that has given so much delight to all our volup 
 tuaries in philology Owhatsillininniesdullpedantsare 
 
lit SECRET CAUSES OF THE 
 
 This though not the longest in that primitive tongue, 
 now it may be feared irrecoverably lost, is still suf 
 ficiently striking in its composition, to admit of many 
 ingenious remarks and inferences, and I had prepar 
 ed myself to explain it, in the best manner I was 
 able. 
 
 I still felt some anxiety about the Viscount, who 
 had as little relish as myself, for the ordinary pur 
 suits of the club, and who smiled sarcastically at the 
 idea of the amusement, selected for the pic nic. I 
 inquired of him what he intended to bring forward, 
 whether he had gone to the languages of Oc or Oil, 
 or taken some particle from their living descend- 
 ants. He said, he should not give into any such 
 folly, that he was tired with this eternal cavilling at 
 words, that were perfectly innocent and praise 
 worthy, till they fell into the hands of commenta 
 tors ; that he would shew them a better example, and 
 that it was high time they should give up this per 
 secution of words, and turn their attention to things. 
 I suggested to him the great utility of their learn 
 ed labours. Eh morbleu ! said he, what do you talk 
 to me about utility ! look at one of these fine books 
 they produce, no text, all notes, looking like a box 
 of pins, or fishhooks, thrown together, you cannot 
 take hold of them without a guantlet of mail : 
 These charming works of theirs, resemble a coun 
 try that should be covered with stone walls, or thorn 
 hedges stuck closely together without a single patch 
 of smooth meadow to be seen. I do injustice to his 
 figures in my translation, for he was as full of quaint- 
 ness, as vivacity. I wished to keep him from 
 
AMERICAN AND FRENCH REVOLUTIONS. 119 
 
 being irritated lest he might offend our friends and 
 said ; but my dear Viscount, if you have not a taste 
 for these studies, you know they are favourite ones 
 in Germany ; and though you and I want from Fame 
 only a life annuity, yet these gentlemen labour for 
 immortality O yes truly, a fine immortality ! they 
 first disguise their uncouth, gothic names under a 
 latin termination, Donderheadibus, Thickscullingius^ 
 looking like strolling players in tawdry, regal cos 
 tumes ; and then write a book that nobody can read, 
 that it may be stuck on the shelves of a library, and 
 taken down once a year, to be dusted. These same 
 books owing their escape from the worms, only to 
 being such a jumble of all languages, that no worms 
 can penetrate them ; because look you, a worm that 
 has been used to feeding on Greek, can hardly get 
 through two leaves before he is choaked with a 
 Hebrew or Arabic term ; and another that has been 
 brought up on Latin, dies of an indigestion of Ger 
 man ; while a third who has been nourished with 
 French, pines away before he gets through a vein 
 of English. No their works are only indestructible, 
 because they are indigestible I tried in vain to 
 learn what he intended to do all I could obtain 
 from him was " You will see !" 
 
 The evening came, and I never attended the club 
 with so strong a feeling of curiosity. The courtesy 
 of the members assigned to their guests, the privi 
 lege of reading first, and my deferring to the Vis 
 count would have been a matter of inclination, if his 
 age had not made it one of course. We were all 
 attention, when this ultra royalist drew from his 
 
120 SECRET CAUSES OF THE 
 
 pocket a Manuscript, which was nothing short of a 
 volume. I gave an involuntary sigh, at the appear 
 ance of this paper, and was convinced my adverb 
 would not see the lamp that evening. The club 
 however, were not men to take alarm at the length 
 of any work, and their countenances lighted up with 
 a mixture of surprise and expectation. Having 
 fixed himself in an easy position at the table, and 
 adjusted his spectacles, the author before com 
 mencing his paper, observed to the club ; " that he 
 knew nothing about adverbs, that without denying 
 the importance of discussions he did not understand, 
 he had listened profoundly to their speculations ; (I 
 have before said he always went to sleep,) that he 
 had taken up a subject of far different consequence 
 than the insignificant parts of speech, and he claim 
 ed their attention to a matter which had occupied 
 his most serious reflection for a long period ; and 
 the facts in* relation to it, were derived from a wide 
 experience of nearly forty years. He added, that 
 the paper he should then have the honour of read 
 ing, was a memoir, on the influence of music in an 
 cient and modern times ; in the course of which, he 
 should shew incontrovertibly, that the American and 
 French revolutions, were owing to the use and 
 abuse of Music in their respective countries." I was 
 lost in doubt whether J had heard him right, while 
 the members of the society, with two or three ex 
 ceptions, seemed very cheerfully to resign their ex 
 ploits among the indeclinables, for that evening. 
 
 This memoir began with the origin of music, he 
 commenced with the Egyptian, Linus, enlarged on 
 
AMERICAN AND FRENCH REVOLUTIONS. 121 
 
 the adventures of Orpheus and Amphion ; and when 
 he got into the tomb of Osymandyas, I did not know 
 whether we should ever see any thing- more than 
 his ghost again. After narrating how the Arcadians 
 were first civilized by music, and getting through what 
 most persons consider its fabulous era, he fell into 
 more precise definitions, facts and inferences. He 
 dwelt upon the Chromatic, Diatonic, and Enharmo 
 nic modes, he described the various sects of the 
 Agenorians, Epigonians, Eratoclians, &c. and conclud 
 ed with a more particular account of the two great 
 musical parties of Greece, the Pythagoreans, and 
 Aristoxenians. He demonstrated the fatal consequen 
 ces, that followed from the alteration, which Polym- 
 nestes made in the strings of his harp ; enlarged on 
 the mischievous tendency of the Dithyrambics, and 
 justly stigmatized the lonians, on the authority of 
 the principal philosophers of Greece, as being the 
 great corrupters of music ; laying great stress on the 
 remarks of Anaxilas, that music like Lybia annually 
 produced some new monster, which he said was em 
 phatically true of our own times, at least with regard 
 to the music, whose power of production in this way 
 was inexhaustible. He cited the testimony of Aristo 
 tle, who shewed how the corruption of music had im 
 mediately engendered that of dancing, and the experi 
 ence of our own unhappy times had illustrated in the 
 strongest manner the common axiom, that like causes 
 will produce like effects. He took many passages 
 from both Plutarch and Plato to shew, that the decay 
 of music entailed the ruin of Greece, more certain 
 ly than the arms and intrigues of Philip ; and dwelt 
 11 
 
322 SECRET CAUSES OF 
 
 on the sublime wisdom of Plato, who thought the fate 
 of Greece would be secure, if Athens should banish 
 forever the plaintive accents of the Lydian, the ef 
 feminacy of the Ionian, and retain only the energy of 
 the Dorian, and the peaceful, religious character of 
 the Phrygian. He said but little about the Ro 
 mans, whom he considered comparatively barba 
 rians ; every thing they possessed of the arts was 
 borrowed from the Greeks, and they had no original 
 music except the obscene Fescinnina. This is a very 
 slight abstract of the points he touched upon in an 
 cient history ; his memoir shewed very deep re 
 search, without intending any idle display of super 
 fluous learning. 
 
 He was equally profound and more diffuse in his 
 examination of the modern history, noticing every 
 important event, from the epoch when the Benedic 
 tine Aretinus presented to Pope John the 20th, the 
 present system of notation, down to the animated 
 warfare between the Piccinists and Gluckists, which 
 convulsed the Parisian public ; and according to him, 
 laid the foundation for those sanguinary disasters, 
 that accompanied the overthrow of the French mo 
 narchy of course as he came to this era, his facts 
 were more numerous and his deductions made with 
 greater care. He shewed, that after the ancient 
 French music was overthrown by the united attacks 
 of the Italians and Germans, and the contest was be 
 tween Gluck and Piecing and not between these two 
 and the severe followers of Rameau, how every kind 
 of frivolity and corruption too surely presaged the 
 dreadful disorders that ensued. He thought the 
 
AMERICAN AND FRENCH REVOLUTIONS. 123 
 
 Italians like the ancient lonians, the most dangerous 
 from the seduction of their soft and voluptuous mu 
 sic, and even Gluck he held to be infinitely below the 
 austerity of the ancient French or Grecian schools. 
 14 Take" said he, u the celebrated invocation in the 
 opera of Armida, ven ez esprits cTenfer, the most vaunt 
 ed effort of Gluck, and compare it with a theurgic 
 chorus of Lasus, and how contemptible it will appear ! 
 (By the way I thought, at the time, he would have 
 been puzzled to give the air of the latter.) He 
 proved as the great philosophers of Greece had 
 done before him, in the case of their country, that 
 when their music became corrupt, dancing soon felt 
 its influence, and the degradation of both, brought 
 on inevitably the decay of morals." He interrupted 
 his reading here for a moment to say ; u you know 
 gentlemen, my political principles, that I have 
 always been ready to lay down my life for them 
 and that they have caused my long expatriation. 
 It is natural that I should wish to return to France, 
 Louis 18th is at length restored to the throne of 
 his ancestors, but all the appearances of tranquil 
 lity will be delusive, unless there is a radical re 
 formation ; and never will I return to my coun 
 try, until the jacobin fashion of pantaloons is laid 
 aside, and the aristocratic mode of breeches is re 
 sumed ; until the pestilent, whirling waltz, which 
 has turned every one s head, and the huddled, con 
 fused country dances,* are proscribed, to give way 
 for the resumption of the solemn, dignified minuet ; 
 until the Italian music is banished and the ancient 
 
 * French country dances are what we call c-otillion?, 
 
124 SECRET CAUSES OF THE 
 
 French is restored because till these changes are 
 effected, I am convinced there can be no permanent 
 security, and I should only have the grief of seeing 
 that dear France exposed to new calamities. 
 
 This is a very imperfect reminiscence of his the 
 ory, as regarded Europe, in which I felt less interest 
 ed than in what related to my own country. He al 
 lowed me afterwards to take a copy of that part of 
 the memoir, which went to prove that the American 
 revolution was owing to the state of our music. 
 This is among my papers, and must be reserved for 
 H future occasion. In the mean time I may be per 
 mitted to observe, that though the idea seemed at 
 first wholly preposterous, my opinion was much 
 changed on reading his memoir. I was not indeed 
 fully convinced by it, and there still appeared to be 
 a good deal of fancy in his system. He had been 
 evidently a most accurate observer of facts, and was 
 very sagacious in the results he drew from them. I 
 can do no more now, than state two or three exam 
 ples of the former. He said that the American re 
 volution, originated, was nourished, and chiefly ef 
 fected, by the people in New England. That these 
 people were, previous to that revolution, almost 
 wholly without instruments of music, except the 
 drum and fife. That every village had its singing 
 master, and among these men, were to be found some 
 of the most peculiar and marked characters in the 
 country. That their style of singing was borrowed 
 from the frogs, whose strength and modulation of 
 voice were much greater in America than in Europe ; 
 the resemblance being so strong, that if an auditor 
 
AMERICAN AND FRENCH REVOLUTIONS. 12<> 
 
 placed himself about equidistant between a pool 
 tenanted by these creatures, and a singing school, 
 he would find it impossible to tell the difference of 
 the sounds. That the character of their sacred, 
 which was almost their only, music, inspired a self- 
 controul, an energy, a foresight, that had the most 
 powerful influence on their conduct. The people 
 he observed, though heretics, were yet very devout, 
 and he had often heard them with astonishment when 
 singing their hymns ; an elder read a line, the whole 
 congregation sang it, they then stopped in the midst 
 of the tune, and of the sense, till he read another, 
 which process was continued throughout. What 
 must not a people be equal to, he asked, who were 
 capable of such self command and suspension of 
 feeling as this practice required ? A further proof he 
 said might be found in the change that had taken 
 place since the custom was dropped, as he under 
 stood it had been, the present generation had great 
 ly fallen off from the virtues of their ancestors. He 
 had made a critical examination, and many curious 
 comments on that celebrated anthem, now very 
 scarce, which begun " By the river of Watertown 
 1 sat down, and wept for the sins of Boston." But 
 this paper which was only intended as an introduc 
 tion to his theory, is grown to a great length; and 
 justice cannot be done to the author, without giving 
 his system entire, this must be postponed to some 
 future opportunity. 
 
 11 
 
THE PRINCE OF THE POWER OF THE AIR. 
 
 A VISION. 
 
 \on \l maravigliate ; ma crerlete. Dantr. 
 
 TOWARDS the close of summer in the year op 
 pressed with the closeness of a sultry day, I saunter 
 ed out into the fields to seek for greater freshness in 
 the open air, taking with me Milton s Paradise Lost. 
 \ short walk through some woodland led to an 
 eminence whose summit rising above the surround 
 ing territory, gave an opportunity to any current of 
 air for which I was panting, to reach me unimpeded. 
 The declining sun was still some hours above the 
 horizon, and I found at the base of a huge moss- 
 covered rock of granite, a shelter from its rays. 
 A. spreading and majestic walnut cast its broad 
 shadows on the parched ground along side, and 
 gave to the eye at least some refreshment. 
 
 The scene around was pleasing, though possessed 
 of no very striking feature. The spot on which I 
 reclined, was in a rough, wild pasture on a range of 
 hills, that formed the western side of an irregular 
 
A VISION. 127 
 
 valley of moderate extent. Immediately below me, 
 a copse of young wood sloped down to the edge of 
 a small brook, rippling through a meadow, bounded 
 by a field of ripening corn. The hills were rocky 
 and barren, except where covered with forests. At 
 two different points they sloped away, so as to give 
 an opening for the highways, through this secluded 
 region. The surface of the valley was interspersed 
 with pastures, cultivated fields, meadows and orchards, 
 with several farm-houses and large barns, a cluster 
 of which, at some distance, formed a hamlet. As 
 the eye followed the opening through the hills, 
 these variegated farms were terminated by a plain 
 and wide expanse of meadows, lying on the edge of 
 the sea, whose distant wave almost blending its tints 
 with the sky, might render it doubtful to the sight, 
 which element supported the white sails diminished 
 to the size of a bird, that were skimming along the 
 horizon. 
 
 After gazing a while on this quiet scene, and 
 indulging in a little vague reverie which the sight 
 of the ocean seldom fails to awaken ; I opened that 
 immortal poem where Hell and Paradise are de 
 scribed with unequalled beauty and sublimity ; and 
 the actors in the scenes shadowed out with a gran 
 deur and distinctness, that places them in the regions 
 of imagination, at a distance hitherto unattained by 
 any other human intellect, excepting only him, who 
 " exhausted worlds and then imagined new." 
 
 I had nearly concluded the second book, when a 
 rustling sound which had caught my ear for a moment 
 or two, seemed encroaching, and increasing in vio- 
 
128 A VlSIOJC. 
 
 lence. I looked up and beheld the distant landscape 
 obscured with rolling" dust and vapours. A sudden 
 tornado had arisen, which was advancing on the 
 wings of the whirlwind up the valley. The dense 
 blackness of the clouds, the violence, the noise and 
 rapidity of its approach, were appalling. To regain 
 the house was impossible, I drew closer to the rock 
 for shelter, all the objects of the landscape were 
 rapidly hidden from my sight, and the blast reached 
 me so instantaneously, that it seemed to come at one 
 furious bound from a long distance. Confused with 
 its roaring-, half suffocated with the dust and leaves, 
 I was torn from my seat and rolled over on the ground. 
 
 A moment after I found myself hurled aloft in the 
 eddying whirls of the hurricane, and carried with 
 such dreadful velocity, that in a short space I thought 
 I had ascended some scores of miles in altitude ; 
 the force of the wind still seemed to support me and 
 I was dreading the moment when it would cease, 
 and my downward course terminate in my being 
 dashed to atoms. The current that had thus taken 
 me up, seemed to have attained its utmost height 
 and was beginning to fail, when it rose again for a 
 moment with renewed elasticity, and gave me a toss 
 as it where, leaving me to fall but a few feet, on what 
 seemed a bed of vapour, so dense, that it could bear 
 my weight. 
 
 Before I could fully recover my breath, or compose 
 my senses to look about, a strange being stalked 
 towards me who was neither a man, though erect in 
 altitude, nor resembling any animal that 1 had ever 
 before seen ; and whose whole appearance was so 
 
A VISION. 129 
 
 varying and bewildering, that 1 could not fix any 
 idea of his size. He grasped hold of me and after 
 several sounds or words that were incomprehensible, 
 exclaimed " Why what art thou that casts a shade ?* 
 and how comest thou hither ?" he continued with a 
 malicious grin and laugh. Overcome with amaze 
 ment and horror, these questions by fixing my atten 
 tion, afforded me some relief and I replied with a 
 degree of firmness that grew out of desperation 
 " Who thou art thus questioning me I know not, or 
 what there is in my case that amuses you I came 
 hither on a whirlwind but in the name of Heaven, 
 where am I and who art thou." " I will inform 
 thee, unlucky inhabitant of the earth, but beware 
 how thou adjurest me by the name of heaven or any 
 of its inhabitants, for I will instantly abandon thee, 
 beware of that, and I will protect thee from harm 
 till thy lot is decided by the monarch I serve. These 
 are the dominions of Hell s most potent Chief, the 
 realms of the Prince of the Power of the Mr, I am his 
 subject, and have come to this remote point on a 
 tour of observation. Come with me, I am bound to 
 
 * Gome color dinanzi vider rotta 
 La luce in terra dal mio destro canto 
 SicchS 1 ombr era da me alia grotta, 
 
 Restaro, e trasser se indietro alquanto ; 
 E tutti gli altri che venieno appresso, 
 Non sapiendo 1 perche, pro altretanto. 
 
 Sanza vostra dimanda j vi confesso 
 Che queste e corpo uman, che voi vedete ; 
 Perche 1 lume del sole in terra fesso, 
 
 Non vi maravigliate ; ma credete, <fec. 
 
 Purgatorio Canto, 3. v, 88. 
 
130 A VISION. 
 
 his Court ; and if thine eyes can bear the vision, 
 thou shall behold far other sights than thou hast 
 ever yet beheld, than any being ever can behold, 
 through whom the light does not pass as unimpeded, 
 as through the air, but thy gross corporeal frame 
 casts a shadow from the light ; the first that ever 
 fell on these regions except from the eclipse of the 
 planets." 
 
 Thus saying he led or bore me onwards. I felt 
 his grasp, but when I attempted to take hold of him, 
 my hand closed as if it pressed nothing but the air. 
 He told me I should arrive at the right moment to 
 hear the reports of the spirits, which had been sent 
 to the globe I came from ; and that I should have an 
 opportunity to learn how the devil got into this 
 world, and hear the results of his agency. 
 
 We moved with prodigious velocity, yet without 
 apparent effort. It was neither sailing, nor running, 
 nor flying, but resembling in a degree that amuse 
 ment, where placed on some vehicle we glide with 
 rapidity down an inclined plane. Our motion was 
 the same, whether the course was upwards, down 
 wards or horizontal, and the inequalities of the 
 route partook of all these varieties, I could form no 
 clear idea of the region we traversed ; every thing 
 was vast and vapoury. T-he medium was sometimes 
 obscure, at others so pellucid and tannsparent that 
 it was even a mockery of air. At some moments 
 the prospect before us was suddenly closed with 
 seemingly impenetrable masses of huge, precipitous 
 hills, through which we passed with as little oppo 
 sition as fishes glide through their element ; at the 
 
A VISION. 131 
 
 next moment the perspective was vast, illimitable. 
 We were occasionally involved in utter darkness, 
 and anon we moved through every hue and shifting 
 tone of light, but what seemed most frequent in this 
 strange region was a kind of intense moonlight 
 Whether the objects we saw were the spirits of 
 material things, or clouds assuming various shapes, 
 I knew not. In looking at the sky from this earth, 
 
 Sometimes we sec a cloud that s dragonish, 
 A vapour sometime like a bear or lion, 
 A tower d citadel, a pendant rock, 
 A forked mountain or blue promontory, 
 With trees upon t that nod unto the world, 
 And mock our eyes with air. 
 
 Yet here they exceeded the wildest delineations of 
 fancy. 
 
 I observed in our course, that these realms con 
 tained no spectres of animated beings, but only the 
 resemblances of material things remarkable for their 
 deformity, for their noxious qualities, or from being 
 associated with bad deeds which were transferred 
 here as a place of punishment. Those waste, dilapi 
 dated grounds near our cities, converted from valua 
 ble pasture lands, into unsaleable prospective house 
 lots, were here arrayed. In one direction I beheld 
 the fens of New-Jersey, with their myriads of 
 musquitoes, in others some of the swamps of Carolina 
 and Georgia, rank with pestilence and plenty. On 
 my left I passed the apparition of those desolate 
 fields near Salem with the gibbets on which the 
 wretched witches were executed ; next to these 
 were the shades of Wyoming, where the innocent 
 
132 A VISION. 
 
 Moravians were cruelly massacred ; on the opposite 
 side I saw the prison and the street in Baltimore 
 where an execrable mob murdered the defenceless. 
 My guide informed me that the actors in these and 
 other crimes committed on earth, were held else 
 where in punishment. That the semblances of in 
 animate objects only were transferred here ; and 
 that the Prince and those of his subjects in these 
 regions, were solely occupied in devising mischief and 
 the ruin of mankind. 
 
 My guide announced to me, that we were ap 
 proaching the place where the monarch held his 
 Court ; when I observed for many miles of our 
 passage scattered in every direction the apparition 
 of all the public buildings that were erected in vio 
 lation of the rules of architecture, edifices from all 
 parts of the world, and among them were almost all 
 of those in the United States. The spectres of these 
 were here placed in penance, all their defects ag 
 gravated by the glare of false lights and harsh un 
 seemly contrasts. 
 
 Every feeling of curiosity, anxiety and wonder 
 was painfully increased, as we came nearer to our 
 destination. The objects were more numerous, 
 motion was accelerated, and the universal bustle 
 was like the anxious, hurried preparation for a con 
 flict. At the same time the obscurity became greater, 
 produced by darkness at one moment, by shifting, 
 gloomy kinds of light, and by fleeting mists followed 
 in jarring contradiction, with vollies of suffocating 
 dust. The traveller who has seen this earth only, 
 can form an imperfect idea of the scene, if he recol- 
 
A VISION. 133 
 
 iects the confusion of his feelings, when entering, for 
 the first time, the suburbs of the great mart of the 
 world towards nightfall, he found himself in the midst 
 of hundreds of vehicles, rapidly passing in various 
 directions, of crowds of men and animals, the smoke 
 of innumerable fires, the din of a vast population ; 
 and then recalls the loneliness which chilled his 
 heart while carried along through tens of thousands 
 of human beings, to whom he was totally unknown. 
 I found passing by me chariots half hidden in vapour, 
 whose wheels moved like the rapidity of machinery, 
 where the eye perceives the whirling of a circle, 
 rather than the circle itself. Other messengers 
 appeared to be flying, and I heard the fluttering and 
 rustling of their motion, and sometimes was brushed 
 by a dank wing, in texture like a bat s. All these 
 my conductor told me were couriers and emissaries 
 going and returning from every country of the earth, 
 from the North and the South, the East and the 
 West ; all were hieing to make reports to their sove 
 reign, who remained ia perpetual council with his 
 legionaries. The session was eternal and the various 
 devices to extend his power forever renewing, and 
 forever adapting themselves to all the changing 
 circumstances of human society. But, see, said my 
 guide, before you is the palace of the monarch ! 
 
 I looked, but can give no idea of the edifice, if 
 the term can be so applied. We were still several 
 miles from it, and I thought we were only a few 
 hundred yards off. Amazement so overpowered 
 me, that I have only retained the impression of its 
 vastness and even that, is vague and indefinite. To 
 12 
 
134 A VISION. 
 
 compare it, in point of size, with any human struc 
 tures would be absurd, the Amphitheatre of Vespa 
 sian, or the Church of St. Peter s, were in compari 
 son, like the diminutive wren-boxes elevated on 
 poles, for tiny birds in our gardens. The walls were 
 like the gig-antic strata of the Andes, surmounted 
 with domes and turrets, but what were the materials 
 even in semblance, I could not decide. They rose 
 before me, as the summit of Teneriife appears tow 
 ering over the blue expanse of the Atlantic to the 
 far distant mariner; yet they seemed less dense 
 and hard in their outline than mountains, but rather 
 like the volume and vapourish nature of clouds. 
 Their awful magnificence was rendered more impos 
 ing, by a sudden flashing illumination, that threw 
 over them a flitting, transitory glare giving an imper 
 fect glimpse of their design ; as those lambent light 
 nings gleaning vividly for a moment in a dark sum 
 mer s sky discover a thousand forms, and broken 
 masses of clouds, that at other times appear a black 
 continuous surface. 
 
 How can I describe the objects, or the dimen 
 sions of them, that met my sight on reaching the 
 interior ! My eye was dizzied, and I shrunk back 
 with amazement, at the height and space of the 
 vast arches, that formed the ceiling of the huge 
 basilick, into which I was carried by my demon 
 guide. The dome which Michael Angelo suspend 
 ed in the air was more diminutive in comparison to 
 these, than would be the ceiling of the most diminu 
 tive cupola, compared with the grandeur of St. 
 Peters. The columns had the size of towers, and 
 
A VISION. 135 
 
 rose beyond the first reach of my aching sight. At 
 one extremity was the throne of the monarch, about 
 which were coiled two vast serpents, that circled it 
 with horrid motion in opposite directions, the glitter 
 and rustling of whose gigantic folds were equally 
 dreadful to the sight and hearing. Before the 
 throne, in a half circle, were his chief counsellors 
 and secretaries, and from these, in diverging lines, 
 sat long rows of his subjects, like, so far as great 
 things can be like small ones, ranges of Sphynxes 
 that form the avenues to the most magnificent tem 
 ple, of Egyptian Thebes. As they were placed 
 in the long vistas, each one gradually increased in 
 size, as the perspective advanced, so that the most 
 distant was as large and distinct as those nearest the 
 throne. Four of these ranges, were mounted on 
 Griffins, of proportionate size. As these lines di 
 verged in the distance, there were groups between 
 them of various kinds, which contained endless 
 thousands of assembled subjects. 
 
 Each of these excited fear in the beholder, what 
 then shall I call the overwhelming dismay, when 
 the eye was turned towards the sovereign. I be 
 sought my guide to screen me, as I shrunk behind 
 him. He replied only by a disdainful grimace, at 
 my requesting such an impossibility. The prince 
 was on a throne, which resembled in its magnifi 
 cence of form and colour, and exhibition of varying 
 hues, the most gorgeous collection of clouds, that 
 are ever piled in a western sky, on a summer s eve. 
 His form and dimensions were suited to his dwelling, 
 but of these I could gain no definite idea: he rose 
 
136 A VISION. 
 
 and shrunk, as a marine object will rise and subside 
 in the peculiar atmosphere, that creates the fanciful 
 distortions of looming-. At one time he would be 
 nearly of the size of those around him, at others, 
 his figure would rise in altitude till it towered in 
 all the loftiness of the vaulted ceilings above us. 
 I caught one glance only at his countenance, and 
 dared not look again ; no words can describe what 
 confounded all the senses and the imagination. As 
 he form was colossal, so the beauty had been once 
 divine ; even now he was not less than " arch 
 angel ruined :" but the proudest of Hell s monarchs 
 had been scathed by the lightnings of heaven, and 
 where the most radiant grace, and ineffable comeli 
 ness once dwelt in celestial emanation, the passions 
 of the demon were glaring with all their immortal 
 malignity. 
 
 The attention of the sovereign was unrelenting, 
 the coming in and departure of emissaries incessant. 
 They gave an account of their missions, into all 
 parts of the earth, and among all the various classes 
 of mankind. Some of these missions related to whole 
 communities, others to individuals only ; and though 
 the reports were innumerable, they occupied but a 
 moment in the delivery ; yet I found afterwards what 
 seemed instantaneous, took me a long time to go 
 over in the narration. I could recollect but a small 
 part of what I heard, among which I select a few as 
 specimens. The ingenuity or the magnitude of the 
 mischief that had been effected drew forth corres 
 ponding plaudits, and sometimes the vaults of their 
 aerial palace waved with the vibrating shouts of the 
 infernal conclave. 
 
A VISION. 13? 
 
 [Here followed several narratives, of the demons 
 who had entered into sovereigns, statesmen, women, 
 lawyers, physicians, divines, &c. &c. and describing 
 the results of their agency, but they are too long 
 for insertion.] 
 
 These accounts of mischief produced, and the de 
 vising of future plans for the ruin of mankind, were 
 subject to strange embarrassments and accidents, that 
 made the authors of confusion themselves worse 
 confounded ; yet they interrupted only for an instant 
 their eternal continuance in plotting evil. At one 
 moment the interior of this edifice was filled with ;i 
 wind, so piercing, so intensely cold, that as it passed 
 over the groups and ranges of this prodigious con 
 clave, it stiffened them at once into immoveability, 
 and they remained fixed in whatever posture they 
 chanced to be in. They would be released from 
 this durance, by a blast more hot and suffocating, 
 than the deadliest Simoom of the desert. The ear 
 too was tortured, and my mind appalled by the 
 most harsh and dreadful sounds ; sometimes it was a 
 groan, seeming to come from assembled millions of 
 sufferers, that began in a low murmur, increasing ic 
 agony and loudness, and finally bursting into a shriek- 
 that convulsed the nerves and rent the brain. 
 At other times, a vehement, grating, malicious, 
 sardonic laugh, from an invisible, and innumerable 
 chorus, would break out on a sudden, creating a 
 horror that sickened the heart. At one period the 
 baseless fabric, crumbled and sunk, the whole as 
 sembled legions were whirled downwards into a. 
 vortex, thousands of fathoms deep, and then hurled 
 12 * 
 
138 A VISION. 
 
 back again, as from the bowels of the earth, stones., 
 fire and water, are ejected above the summit of a 
 volcano. Every one however resumed his place, 
 and even these dreadful interruptions caused no 
 cessation of the everlasting perpetration of evil. 
 
 It was after one of these tremendous concus 
 sions, followed by our being precipitated with ac 
 celerated violence, into the bottomless abyss, that I 
 thought myself abandoned by my guide, and falling 
 to the earth, with a panick apprehension of being 
 dashed to pieces, exactly similar to the feeling that 
 startles us, when we dream of falling. When the 
 shock was over, I soon realized, that I was safely 
 on the earth ; the objects around shewed that I had 
 alighted on the precise spot I had left, but I felt 
 for sometime in a painful state of confusion. I found 
 my book by my side, and a branch of the walnut 
 tree, torn off by the wind, laying near me. I had a 
 slight contusion on my temple, that gave me some 
 pain, and I returned home absorbed in meditation 
 and doubt. When a relation of these circumstances 
 was afterwards made to my friends, they said that 
 the falling branch, must have struck my head, and 
 stunned me : that the functions of the brain, had 
 been left, as they are in sleep, that I had been 
 thrown into a kind of trance, in which the excite 
 ment of what I had been reading had led to this 
 train of visionary extravagance. I did not care to 
 dispute with them, as to the correctness of their 
 opinion, of what had befallen me ; but the impres 
 sions were too vividly, and deeply engraved on my 
 mind to satisfy me, that their explanation was well 
 founded. 
 
A BALLAD. 
 
 LUCUP a non lucendo. 
 
 ONE bright and genial morning towards the close 
 of the last spring, I strolled forth on a desultory 
 walk. It was one of the few fine days with which 
 we are favoured in this season, that is here so ca 
 pricious. A fine sky, a caressing breeze from the 
 southwest, and a plastic temperature, produced a 
 half voluptuous feeling of enjoyment, making exis 
 tence in the abstract, a source of delight. I found 
 myself beyond the limits of the pavement, without 
 any particular object, when it occurred to me, that 
 only a few miles would be added to the walk, by 
 visiting the spot where I had passed my infancy ; I 
 determined at once on that direction, and allowed 
 my mind to wander into reveries of recollection. It 
 was the youth of the year and naturally associated 
 with my thoughts. Nature wore a very bland as 
 pect, the apple-buds of innumerable orchards were 
 beginning to expand in full flower ; though a chilling 
 change might a few days afterwards cut them off, as 
 the opening, confiding expectations of childhood 
 are blasted in the subsequent frowns of a world, 
 
140 A BALLAD. 
 
 whose smiles at a distance are so enticing, and so de 
 ceptive. 
 
 Thus occupied in musing on the past, I came to a 
 lane that led in a sinuous course of half a mile to 
 the dwelling, where I passed two years of blissful 
 childhood, under the care of a fond, indulgent grand 
 mother, the most kind hearted and benevolent of 
 human beings. My only companion was a handsome 
 spaniel, as playful and unrestrained as myself, and 
 who never objected when we returned from our 
 daily morning and afternoon s excursion of a sum 
 mer s day, to my allegation, that the pickle I was 
 in from our play in the brook together, which ren 
 dered a fresh frock necessary, was all owing to 
 Yorick, who shared my meals, as he did my sports. 
 Through this lane I had often galloped on a willow 
 stick for a horse, and in my childish fancy believed 
 my own vaulting, was the restive prancing of the 
 wooden Pegasus 1 bestrode. 
 
 I sought for all the objects that had left an impres 
 sion on my memory, yet few remained as they once 
 were. The projecting angles of dark grey, totter 
 ing stonewalls, that my imagination while hurrying 
 home in the receding twilight, had often converted 
 into fearful, portentous shapes, were all replaced by 
 straight, neat, whitewashed fences; and here and 
 there an upstart poplar stood in the place of some 
 venerable apple, or umbrageous forest tree. Each 
 side of the road was now dotted with modern country 
 houses and trim gardens, where had formerly been 
 wild pastures or irregular orchards. This marked a 
 state of flourishing increase, which more than com 
 pensated for the wild but pleasing scenery it 
 
A BALLAD. 141 
 
 ed ; yet it brought to my mind a wish I have often 
 felt, that our village reformers in improving their 
 roads, could be convinced, that for the sake of short 
 ening a few yards of the highway, it is not worth 
 while to cut down a venerable elm, or oak, that was 
 growing before they could tell where their ances 
 tors existed ; and that to plant poplars in their place, 
 is like ousting a venerable patriot from the service 
 of his country, to put in his stead a modern dandy. 
 
 The reader must here recollect that I am not tell 
 ing a regular story, but only following the deviations 
 of my thoughts as they occurred in the progress of 
 an idle walk ; and if he grows tired of it sooner than 
 I did, he has the advantage of me, and can break off 
 without going over all the ground I traversed. I 
 must protest too against conjuring up an idea of my 
 age being very advanced, from all these changes hav 
 ing occurred. I have my reasons which I will not 
 enumerate, for not wishing to be considered too 
 old, and candid minds will recollect how very rapid 
 all these alterations have been in this vicinity. Since 
 I have alluded to the subject, I must say with the 
 French lady who answered that singularly imperti 
 nent question in the forms of French judicial pro 
 ceeding, " what is your age ?" that, " I am of no 
 particular age." Chronology is a very tedious, un 
 satisfactory science, and I have often wondered 
 that the great Newton should have prostrated his 
 sublime faculties to writing a laborious work on 
 dates, with as much ardour as a malicious spinster, or 
 a waning bachelor, investigate the eras of all their 
 acquaintances : it is a vexatious, unprofitable study, 
 
142 A BALLAD. 
 
 and often annoys inoffensive people, who wish to es 
 cape observation. 
 
 To return, I had advanced through more than half 
 the length of the lane, where nothing on either side 
 remained as it was, when I came to a spot, where I 
 could exclaim as Adam did, on his visit to Spain ; 
 " Ah, every thing here, is just as I left it." The 
 road bent in an easy curve, between a meadow, and 
 a gentle elevation, almost as round as an inverted 
 bowl. A small brook crossed the way, whose dimin 
 utive stream at this season indicated, that it might 
 be passed dry-shod before the autumnal equinox. 
 On the top of the hillock a house whose clapboards 
 had never been disguised with paint, and in some 
 spots had left the boards beneath without a cover 
 ing, exhibited as many marks of auld lang s-yne as the 
 perishable nature of wooden buildings will permit. 
 The fence which inclosed its territory was composed 
 in various proportions of mossy stones, weather bea 
 ten rails and berberry bushes, furnishing more 
 studies of the picturesque to a painter, than could be 
 collected from all the spruce palings of a county. 
 A small dell lay at the edge of the mound, on which 
 the house stood, and to which it corresponded so 
 nearly, that if inverted into it, the space would be 
 filled and the whole spot nearly levelled. A pool of 
 water, fringed in part with quince trees, stood in the 
 bottom, and which must shrink entirely away in a 
 dry summer. Its surface was now almost grown over 
 with various aquatic plants, and one or two rails that 
 the children had thrown in to get at these, were cov 
 ered with small, golden-spotted tortoises, basking in 
 the sun io rows, as idly as so many Spaniards under 
 
A BALLAD. 143 
 
 a wall. From this rustic dwelling, partial views of 
 the town, its harbour and islands could be seen, 
 as from most of the rising grounds, that are strewed 
 throughout the vicinity of Boston. 
 
 I had been leaning for some time on a rail looking 
 at these little terrapins, who were eyeing me in turn, 
 ready to slip into the water on the first suspicious 
 movement I should make, till I was in a torpid kind 
 of reverie, not very far removed from their own 
 state of existence. Some lively voices behind me, 
 turned my attention to a woman and a small boy, 
 who were visiting a trap cage for birds under an old 
 apple tree in the field opposite. I moved towards 
 them as they crossed the road to return to the house, 
 and accosted her, when the following dialogue took 
 place between us. u What luck do you have ma am 
 in catching birds ? Do you want to get a bird, sir ? 
 O no 1 have no place to keep it, and I hate to see 
 them shut up in cages. O sir, they dont mind it a 
 bit, they are used to it. There seem to be a number 
 of new houses in this neighbourhood ? O yes, some 
 very grand and some droll shaped ones. I guess 
 you re a stranger like in these parts, do you want 
 to find any body s house ? No ma am, I am only 
 walking for amusement but I am not such a stran 
 ger as you think, I know every old tree and old 
 fence about us, I lived a number of years near here. 
 Well you don t look like it, I wonder when it was ? 
 A long time ago. Did you know many of the 
 folks hereabout, did you ever see me before ? For 
 merly I knew every body, and I may have seen you 
 when a child, I have been in that house sometimes. 
 Why that s my house, and I should like to have you 
 
144 A BALLAD. 
 
 come in again if you ve a mind, I wish I knew your 
 name/ That wish was gratified immediately, and I 
 proceeded willingly up to the house, suspecting that I 
 had hit upon a person who was what the mineralogists 
 would call a good specimen, strongly characterized. 
 She proved to be inquisitive, open hearted, imperti 
 nent, good natured, very curious respecting all the 
 particulars that came in her way, and very reckless 
 about the world at large, and all generalities. 
 
 After entering a room with a wainscot embrowned 
 by time, and walls somewhat darkened by smoke, and 
 whose floor was rendered rather uneven by4he set 
 tling 6f the beams, but looked as clean as frequent 
 scouring could make it; I seated myself comforta 
 bly in a straw bottomed chair, which my hostess of 
 fered. To get the start of questions, that I saw 
 were filling her mouth, and to give her an idea of 
 my knowledge of the place, concerning which she 
 had shewn a little incredulity ; I began by asking 
 her after a family, that was one of renown in the 
 early history of this country, and that bore an old 
 English name, coeval with the times of Cedric and 
 Gurth, and Rowena ; and which had recently be 
 come extinct, in an old maid and old bachelor, broth 
 er and sister, who in humbled circumstances discov 
 ered a strong raciness of their origin, lived humour 
 ists and died philosophers. I inquired if she had 
 
 u ever known old Mr. and Mrs. ?" u Did you 
 
 know them?" " That was my question, but no mat 
 ter, I did know them very well." " Why how 
 come you to know them, well I guess you were ac 
 quainted hereabouts, but do for mercy s sake tell me 
 how you knew the old folks, and they ve been 
 
A BALLAD. 145 
 
 dead so long." ;; I knew it would be a mercy to her 
 to satisfy her curiosity, and therefore told how the 
 acquaintance arose. I explained to her that I used 
 to gallop over on my willow horse, to the cottage 
 of the old people, and after busying myself some 
 time in putting the heap of fuel tan standing near 
 their door in various shapes, that my visit finished 
 by their giving me some delicious brown bread and 
 butter, of which I had not forgotten the taste. 
 
 This little historical trait served a very good pur 
 pose : she at once asked, " why do you like brown 
 bread ?" I paid her in her own coin, by replying 
 " Do you think I don t ?" " Lord love you, you 
 shall have some as good bread and sweet butter as 
 
 ever old Mrs. gave you." She immediately set 
 
 about it ; a small pine table, almost as white and quite 
 as clean as new fallen snow, was placed before me, 
 and a loaf of black bread, that would have excited 
 rather envy than pity for the Spartans if theirs had 
 been the same, a slice of butter that might almost 
 vie with that of Prevalet,* and a black glazed pitch 
 er of earthen ware filled with the coldest and purest 
 water that bubbled up beneath a moss grown rock, a 
 few yards from the dwelling, furnished very inviting 
 fare. 
 
 * As the inhabitants of Boston, owing to the choice of "their 
 country brethren," eat more bad butter than any other popula 
 tion of the same extent in the world, it may be of some use to 
 know where is the other extreme. The butter in France is al 
 ways excellent, and that of Prevalet is particularly celebrated 
 for its exquisite flavour. 
 
 13 
 
146 A BALLAD. 
 
 My entertainer had been called away two or three 
 minutes, when a female entered the room not know 
 ing a stranger was there, in whose whole ap 
 pearance though not without dignity, there was so 
 much plainness, as to discourage attention at first ; 
 yet it grew keener every moment she was examined. 
 She was verging towards the middle age and cloth 
 ed in mourning, that seemed not the dress of fash 
 ion, but the very hue of her soul. Her face without 
 any very striking feature, indicated an ardent, gen 
 erous character, subdued into a superficial calmness, 
 where anguish and apprehension lay covered as it 
 were, but not concealed, by the thin veil of her fair 
 transparent complexion. On her entering I address 
 ed her with courtesy and respect, and tried by ex 
 pressing a regret at my intrusion to prevent her 
 obvious intention of retiring. I do not know how it 
 would have ended, if the bird-catching, question-ask 
 ing mistress of the house had not at that moment 
 come back, and saying, " O ma am, I am glad you 
 have come in, do stay, and sit down, and talk a little, 
 it will raise your spirits ; I was just giving this gen 
 tleman some bread and butter, for the sake of old 
 times, and we have been talking about things that 
 happened long ago, and people that were old when 
 he was a child." She sat down, and I fancied that it 
 was the idea of talking of the past that induced her to 
 remain, like a person to whom the present is pain 
 ful and the future hopeless, and whose only solace is 
 in the melancholy of retrospect. Inquiring of Miss 
 Margaret " have you seen my work," she received 
 the answer of inveterate habit, " do you want it ? ? 
 There it is in the corner, " I will get it myself." 
 
A BALLAD. Hi- 
 
 She had just seated herself, and taken her needle, 
 when our party received an accession, by a person 
 who seemed to be a familiar guest, having first ask 
 ed kindly of the mourner after her health, he then 
 addressed the other female " Aunt Meggy, I must 
 have a cut at your bread and butter." " Yes, I 
 guessed you d finish it, as soon as I saw you but 
 let me ask you one question first ; where have you 
 been, where do you come from, and where are you 
 going? Though these questions were asked with 
 considerable fluency, he had in the mean time prepar 
 ed a thick slice of bread with a suitable covering, then 
 proceeded to dispatch a mouthful and a question al 
 ternately. "Begging your pardon, Aunty, you have 
 slipped three questions into one, but I ll answer 
 them all I have been to Boston 1 come now from 
 home I am going to Milton/ " Going to Milton ! 
 come do tell what you are going to Milton for ?" 
 " I am going to see the river, I hear there is a great 
 change in it." " Change ! what sort of change ?" 
 " Why it is much wetter than it was." " Wetter ! 
 how can that be ?" " Owing to the late rains I sup 
 pose, they said it was quite dry last week, but it has 
 much changed since the last rain, which I guess must 
 have moistened it." u Ah this is your college wit, 
 mighty fine no doubt." " O no nothing more than a 
 very slight lusus verborum as we used to say at Cam 
 bridge. But my Aunt Inquisitive, if your bread was 
 not so good, I should say that you were very ungrate 
 ful to abuse me, when 1 do every thing I can to sa 
 tisfy your curiosity, but you will choke me with so 
 many questions." " Did ever one hear the like ? 
 have I asked any questions ? I am afraid you ll choke 
 
148 A BALLAD. 
 
 yourself with such great lumps of bread that you cram 
 into your mouth." While this person who had offered 
 me a slight salute on entering, was undergoing these 
 interrogatories and demolishing what my appetite had 
 spared, I had taken a cursory survey of his person. 
 This was rather short and thick set, or what our far 
 mers call stocky, with legs whose shape had that sub 
 stantial outline, which some physiologists have said, 
 indicated both stubbornness of character, and the 
 want of imagination. He had on a drab coloured hat 
 covering a head of red hair, and his complexion was 
 of a shade between the two, so that had it not been 
 for a pair of sharp grey eyes, and a little heightening 
 of the colour about the nose, chin and ears, like the 
 blush on a russetine apple, it would have been diffi 
 cult to have selected the face, at a short distance, 
 nmong the mass which rose above his shoulders. 
 
 The loaf and its accompaniment had nearly van 
 ished under the energies, of the pseudo-nephew, 
 when a little girl, about seven years old, with a 
 lively and interesting countenance, came running 
 up from the brook below, and holding in her hand 
 a miniature mimic vessel, made from a shingle, a 
 few rags, and bits of ribbons. The lady was sitting 
 in a position, turned from the door, so that she did 
 not perceive the child, before she had sprang up to 
 iier, and in a breathless tone, of infantile extasy 
 exclaimed ; " Look dear Mama, what a beautiful 
 ship, a boy has given me." She instantly seized and 
 crushed, as it were instinctively, the rude toy, and 
 giving the child a look of intense pity and tender 
 ness, her countenance became too convulsed for 
 
A BALLAD. 149 
 
 utterance, and in a hurried manner, she led her out 
 of the room. 
 
 " Dear, unhappy creature !" exclaimed one, " un 
 fortunate woman !" said the other of my com 
 panions. Not knowing what to think of this unex 
 pected scene, which passed so suddenly, I was in a 
 sort of painful wonder, when the person with the 
 drab coloured hat, after a slight hesitation, addressed 
 me by name, and telling me his own, I soon made 
 out that we were contemporaries, during a part of 
 our college life. There was a kind of mutual feel 
 ing, to avoid for a moment, an explanation of the 
 circumstance, that had just taken place, and he be 
 gan by giving a brief account of himself, aided oc 
 casionally by a hint, in the form of question, from 
 his nominal aunt. By this it appeared, that after 
 trying two or three different schemes, without 
 much success, he had made use of what he had ac 
 quired, to teach others ; that in short, he had been 
 a pedagogue, for a few years, and having at the 
 same time employed his surplus gains, with success, 
 in some trading transactions, he had recently retired 
 to a dignified idleness, on a splendid indepen 
 dence of six hundred dollars a year. 
 
 After he had given an account of himself, which 
 I have here abbreviated, I turned the conversation 
 to the lady, who had just left the room, in such 
 strong emotion, and asked for some explanation. 
 Aunt Margaret listened in a kind of sympathy, that 
 shewed good feelings, yet at the same time, a 
 cautious attention, though she knew the story well, 
 but with the chance of picking up some new details. 
 13* 
 
150 A BALLAD. 
 
 He first brought to my recollection, an old college 
 acquaintance, who was a brother of this lady, and 
 one of the objects she lamented ; and without pre 
 tending to give his words precisely, the following 
 were the outlines of his narration. 
 
 Mrs. A belongs to a populous town, in the County 
 of Essex, and has been in a remarkable degree, the 
 victim of modern buccaneering, regular and irregu 
 lar. Her father in the outset of life, had been en 
 gaged in a considerable commerce, with one of the 
 ports of Spain ; and in the prosecution of his affairs, 
 went to visit his correspondents. With a high con 
 fidence in his abilities and integrity, they made him 
 proposals, to enter into some extensive transactions, 
 that would render necessary a long residence in 
 South America. He engaged in it, came home and 
 transported his family to his new residence. Here 
 he passed several years, in a prosperous course. 
 He had two children, a son and daughter, the latter, 
 of whom we are now speaking, born in this country, 
 the other in South America- As these children, 
 grew up, a solicitude for their health, and for an 
 education, which he could not give them where he 
 was, led him to send them over to their friends here, 
 hoping to follow them in a year or two. But to the 
 accumulating colonist, to the unhappy exile, who is 
 seeking fortune in a foreign land, only to return 
 with its fruits to enjoy his own, to-morrow emphati 
 cally, never comes ! He lingers on, thwarted by 
 disappointments, or lured by avarice, till death over 
 takes him, and his ashes mingle with a foreign soil ; 
 or if he does return, tis with emaciated health, and 
 broken recollections ; the friends of his youth taken 
 
A BALLAD. 151 
 
 away, and the scenes of early enjoyment altered 
 and gone. After some years of protracted anxiety, 
 the parents saw the joyful moment arrive, when 
 they could embark on their return, and soon hope 
 to embrace those dear children, of whose charac 
 ters and progress they had received the most flat 
 tering relations. The honourable gains of many 
 years of exile were converted into specie, and 
 taken with them on board the Spanish Frigates 
 which sailed for Europe in the year 1805. Spain 
 was at peace with all the world, and a large num 
 ber of passengers, with the long savings of many a 
 tedious year of absence, were anticipating in each 
 day s progress o er the wave, that they were ap 
 proaching nearer to the country, and the friends of 
 their youth. Vain expectation ! These frigates 
 conveyed an immense treasure, the enemy sailing 
 from port, under the mask of peace, were hovering 
 in their path. Unprepared and unsuspicious on one 
 side, a conflict ensued. That the amount of prize 
 money, might be greater to some favourite officers, 
 a force was sent, only sufficient to make sure of the 
 capture, but not so large as to prevent a contest, by 
 its superiority. In the battle some of these inno 
 cent passengers fell among the other victims, and 
 lost both life and property. Among them was the 
 father of this lady ; her mother died, soon after 
 reaching the shore, of fright, of grief, of a broken 
 heart, and her children were left doubly orphans. 
 This action sounded highly in the Gazette, the 
 droits of Admiralty, swelled for a time to all the in 
 satiable wants of profligacy, the captors counted 
 over the amount of their prize money, and sordid 
 
152 A BALLAD. 
 
 politicians chuckled, at a preventive triumph over 
 Buonaparte. 
 
 The loss of a father and mother, whom she had 
 been looking forward to embrace with ardour, for so 
 many years, sunk deeply and corrodingly, into the 
 delicate frame of their daughter. Her brother after 
 leaving the University, entered into commerce, and 
 after marrying a lovely woman, resolved to go to 
 the same province, his unfortunate parents had 
 lived in, to recover some property they had left, and 
 carry on the same kind of commerce, which his 
 fathers friends urged him to undertake. His sister 
 parted from him with gloomy, tremulous forebod 
 ings. This little girl, whom I had seen, was his 
 only child. She had been sent two or three years 
 since to the care of this lady, her parents intending 
 to return in a year or two. They embarked with 
 his valuable property in a foreign vessel, and noth 
 ing more was ever heard of them. This unfortu 
 nate ship fell in with one of our " patriot" priva 
 teers, who pillaged and destroyed the vessel, and 
 murdered the passsengers and crew, that no tales 
 might be told. It is said that some of the connec 
 tions of these " patriots" have been seen decorated 
 with jewels that belonged to the wretched lady, and 
 the property plundered has served to enlarge the 
 career of profligacy and crime. This little orphan, 
 has been taught by her aunt to call her mother, 
 and she clings to her, as the last relic of her 
 wretched family. Her friends advised her to seek 
 for a time a retreat in this cottage, to change the 
 scene, the owner of which was long known to the 
 family. When this poor child came running into 
 
A BALLAD. 153 
 
 Uer, with that mimic ship, this fatal object in her 
 hands, too young to know the horrors, that had de 
 stroyed two generations of her family, gave her 
 that convulsive movement of anguish, which pro 
 duced the effect you witnessed. 
 
 Soon after the conclusion of this brief narrative 
 of accumulated misfortune, which was accompanied 
 with occasional comments and tears of the good- 
 hearted hostess, the lady herself, having recovered 
 a degree of composure, and sent the child to play, 
 re-entered the room. I began immediately to speak 
 of her brother, for whom I had felt a great esteem 
 at College, and though the mention of him again 
 produced a violent emotion, I continued without 
 seeming to observe it, to speak of him, that she 
 might struggle to overcome it, and join in the con 
 versation. She gradually acquired firmness enough 
 to do so ; and after a while this accidental meeting 
 with a stranger who had known one so dear to her, 
 seemed to afford a melancholy pleasure, and to 
 produce a soothing effect. The settled, incurable 
 grief, which was evidently fixed in this interesting 
 woman, made me prolong an interview, that chance 
 had brought about, in the hope that a conversation 
 which seemed no longer irksome, might give a 
 momentary diversion from her sorrows. I began 
 to speak of some of the superstitious tales that may 
 still be heard occasionally in Essex, where they once 
 were so numerous and had so many believers j but 
 which modern incredulity and ridicule have so suc 
 cessfully combated, that the few who yet cherish 
 them are very shy of talking on the subject. She 
 deplored the infatuation, which in the early ages of 
 
154 A BALLAD. 
 
 the Colony had propagated the belief of witchcraft, 
 and led to the death of some poor wretches ; but 
 the only excuse was, that the same unhappy conta 
 gious spirit prevailed in other places and in other 
 countries, during the same and even at a later period. 
 Among the stories that were alluded to, was the 
 legend of the Screeching Lady of Marblchead, which 
 I found she did not wholly disbelieve ; at least she 
 thought it strange, that so many persons should have 
 heard those dreadful sounds, at different times and 
 remote periods. She told me she had a collection 
 of three or four stories of this kind, and this was 
 among them, and if I wished it, she would give it 
 to me. Assuring her it would be a gratification to 
 me, she went to her room to get it. 
 
 I took advantage of the moment to speak with the 
 mistress of the cottage, in behalf of this afflicted 
 lady. " Poor, dear creature," said she, " I would 
 do any thing for her, she is so kind, and so heart 
 broken ; but I don t know what to do, she never 
 asks any questions, and it does nt seem natural some 
 how not to ask questions." " Yes, but you ask 
 questions enough for both." " Perhaps I do, but 
 I love to give and take, 1 like to ask and be asked." 
 " Well, she is so unhappy, you must excuse it." 
 " O that I will, and it s more for her sake than mine, 
 that I want her to talk and inquire about things, 
 it would divert her mind." Preparing to depart, 
 I offered some remuneration for my collation, but it 
 was positively refused. The lady returned and 
 handed me the manuscript, I asked leave to repeat 
 my visit, and wished her a good day. 
 
A BALLAD. 155 
 
 I turned my steps homewards, the rose-coloured 
 tinge which had covered the recollections of infancy, 
 at the first part of my walk, were now changed, and 
 a sombre hue given to my thoughts by a contem 
 plation of the sad calamities of life. The following 
 copy of verses, contains the particular legend before 
 mentioned ; and if this long introduction to them is 
 like the thick, double coverings that envelope our 
 favourite hiccory-nuts, I hope the lines may prove 
 as sweet as the kernel, which is thus carefully pro 
 tected. 
 
 Postscript. The motto prefixed to this narrative 
 was adopted as appropriate, after being disappointed 
 in not receiving the ballad from a hand from which 
 I had hoped for it, and feeling unwilling to attempt 
 supplying the deficiency myself. The substance of 
 the legend is here subjoined, not in the words of the 
 manuscript received from the lady ; but more nearly 
 to an abbreviation of it, as given by a distinguished 
 individual in a conversation which occurred in a 
 small party, on the subject of the superstitious stories 
 that are told in the County of Essex ; and which are 
 almost as numerous, as those of the Highlands of 
 Scotland, that have furnished so many materials for 
 poetry and romance, to the writers of that country. 
 As our legends of superstitious times are now fast 
 falling into oblivion, it would be an amusing and 
 perhaps a useful task, for some person in that Coun 
 ty to collect and embody them, either in prose or 
 poetry. The mere marvellous part of such tales is 
 idle enough ; but they always have some illustrative 
 
156 A BALLAfc. 
 
 connexion with history, or manners of the people, 
 and give a forcible interest to local associations. 
 
 It was during the period when the Buccaneers of 
 the 17th century, were ravaging the commerce of 
 Spain, that a vessel of that nation was captured by 
 them and brought into the port of Marblehead, which 
 then contained only some scattered cottages of a few 
 fishermen. To secure more effectually the plunder 
 of their rich prize, they murdered the crew. There 
 was on board the vessel an English lady, whom these 
 ruffians carried into a narrow valley, or glen, back 
 of the present town of Marblehead, and there bar 
 barously murdered her. The few fishermen who 
 inhabited the place were absent, and the women and 
 children who remained, could do nothing to prevent 
 the crime. The screams of the wretched victim 
 were loud and dreadful, and some of the exclama 
 tions, O mercy ! mercy ! Lord Jesus Christ save me ! 
 were distinctly heard. Her body was buried where 
 the crime was perpetrated, and to this day these 
 screams are occasionally repeated ; sometimes every 
 year, sometimes an interval of two or three years 
 will intervene. When these screams have been 
 heard, it is always in a sound so superhuman, and 
 superlatively dreadful, that the horror is indescriba 
 ble. A diligent search has been immediately made 
 after their recurrence, but no trace of any person 
 attempting to play off a deception, or any mode of 
 accounting for these appalling noises could be dis 
 covered. Such was the account of u The Screeching 
 Lady of Marblehead^ whose cries and whose story, 
 will probably be forgotten by the next generation. 
 
 THE END. 
 
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