\S^ '"Ti o ^ § -< "^/^ajAiNnawv ■insAKcnrr. ^(i/ojiTvodo"^ '^^mm-^ .. nrrAiiFOPy/. ^OFCAilFI :: > \X- AV^EUNIVERS// "CALIFO% Y. 'AdV^aillv" %a3AINa-3\\V^ ^v,\OSANCFlfj^ , ANCf l/f r.>, -s^llIBRARYO. iiji; O %il3AIN ^lOSAN' O .1^ =o o ■JiUJNvSOl^^ %a3AlN ^^.!/0JI]V3J0"^ '^•JOJIIV a.OFCAllFO/?-f;> ^OFCAl i^ini |iJ ^WfUNIVLRV/. O li. _?3 O jiiivjiu'^ '^^ojiivjjo'^ '^J'iiiaNVSoi^'^ ^/5a3Ai '/iiiJAH -O %]Yj ^\n;Nr^,!^.;, 'iijjriV-SOl^ "^Z' ynor OfCALIFO%. ^^ ^- _ -^r riS MEMOIRS MADAME LAFARGE. VOLUME IL ^ ^ 9 (^ MEMOIES MADAME LAPARGE; WRITTEN BY HERSELF. IN TWO VOLUMES. VOL. 11. LONDON : HENRY COLBURN, PUBLISHER, GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET. 1841. LONDON: PALMER ANH CLAYTON, FRINTEBt, 10, Crur-court, Fl«t-itrfet. DC xMEMOIES MADAME LAFARGE. CHAPTER I. It was six in the morning when, with the aged Lalo, I took my place in the Imiibering vehicle that was to restore to me the sun's bright face and the pleasant fields. Like a true Parisienne, I know nothing of Paris, and still less of its en- virons ; so that, after having passed beneath the Arc de Triomphe de I'Etoile, all was new to me. Continually looking through the window, I admired the gay and smiling arbours that decked the roadside-gardens, whose blossom- ing shrubs and flowers perfumed the air. I admired the fair and graceful Seine, flowing VOL. II. B 917S6^ J MEMOIRS OF beh\cen its own fair fields and villages, so dif- ferent from the same proud Seine, as it slug- gishly moves under the bridges of the capital : tlien came Neuilly, and its charming park ; then St. Germain, with its amphitheatre of forest standing out against the blue horizon. At a few leagues' distance from Paris, the country, without being less beautiful, assumed a harsher aspect. Flowering shrubs, fragi-ant but useless, were succeeded by cultivated fields ; the clover was falling under the mower's scythe; the hay ^vas gathered into sweet-scented heaps ; and fields of standing rye, undulating under the morning breeze, resembled an ocean of ears and corn-flowers. For the first time I felt all the poetry of spring, away fi'om Villers-Hellon. All the joys of my beloved grandfather returned after the winter. Alas ! he would return no more. My heart failed me. The smiling face of spring appeared to me ungrateful and neglectful. Lalo's thoughts and feelings sympathised with mine, and we were both affected b}" painful reminiscences. We reached Pontoise at eleven ; Madame Lcautaud had sent her tilbury to meet us there j MADAME LAFARGE. d and in a few minutes we arrived at Busagny. This charming little country-house looks as if it had fallen from the dry and sandy hill-side into the valley in which it stands. On one side arises a little eminence planted with tufted trees, which form a thick curtain ; on the otherj meadov/s, fields, flowers, and woods re- pose at its feet, bounded by a little river. This scene delighted me more by its novelty than by its beauty ; and the cordiality of my reception left me no reason to regret having at last ac- cepted Marie's pressing invitations. After breakfast Marie took me to see her son, whose pale and sickly features were set off for the occasion with the cap I had em- broidered for him. Then she proposed to ac- company me to her sister-in-law's, whose cha- teau is situated within a few minutes' walk of Busagny. This was only a contrivance to be alone with me : Madame Leautaud's looks and words shewed me that her mind was oppressed. Were her fears of the past winter realised ? had we confided our secret to unworthy keeping ? I still believed in our hei'o. Yet my imagina- tion, struck by Marie's evident anxiety, some- b2* 4 MEMOIRS OF times saw him stop from his pedestal and become one of those men-machines which on the stage are employed to sing two notes, to swing their arms, roll their eyes, and march in processions : and I thought in anguish of my friendship which I had so ridiculously pro- faned. Filled with vague and indefinite fears, and desii'ous of putting an end to them by learning the truth, I consented to go imme- diately, forgetful of my idleness, fatigue, and the heat of the day. Unluckily, however, we were joined hy Madame de Nicolai ; and so we M'ere compelled to speak of fine weather and wet, and of her daughter's health, which se- riously alarmed her. I was struck on our arrival by the majestic beauty of Osny. Tliis seat, the property of the Lameth family, M'as given to M. Scipiou de Nicolai upon his marriage witli Mademoi- selle de Bcauvoir. It stands on a large gravel terrace, sloping down to an extensive lawn, with a little lake which reflects its image ; trees the grovvth of a century overshadow the winding avenues of the park, mIhIc flower-beds near the house enliven the somewhat rigid beauty of the scene. MADAME LAFARGE. 5 The interior corresponds with the exterior of tlie mansion. Long and echoing corridors, a broad grand staircase ornamented with exo- tics, a chapel, and a Gotliic saloon, constitute the princely residence. Madame Scipion's kind and simple manners form a pleasing contrast with Avhat surrounds her. Neither lovely nor elegant, and without much wit, she charms by her good nature, her gentleness, and anxiety to please. Left an orphan, married for her dower, and neglected by her husband, the secret grief, that manifests itself in her own despite, adds to her charms, and it is difficult not to love her. M. Scipion de Nicolai has all the good qualities that make life pleasant to a bachelor, and all the faults that make a married home uncomfortable; delighting especially in dogs, horses, the chase, and betting ; shunning the society of women who are only amiable and coquettes in mind, he lives on horseback, at the Jockey Club, and on the Boulevard de Gand. Madame Scipion's sister was to be married in a few daj-s ; and our hostess spoke to us with touching anxiety of her fears and solici- 6 MEMOIRS OF tude for her happiness. As for Mademoiselle de Beauvoir, pleased with the idea of her ap- proaching marriage, she bestowed less thought on the future than on her wedding-dress and jewels. Her features were pretty and pleas- ing; not sufficiently beautiful, unfortunately, to make up for a very indifferent figure. She seemed kind and gentle, and beha\'ed with amiable politeness to me, whom she had never seen before. We returned late from our visit. We had to dress for dinner ; and in the evening, being compelled to converse on indiflerent topics, I could only squeeze Marie's hand expressively ; and on retiring for the night, I felt surprised at the unusual amiability of Mademoiselle Del- vaux, who, up to this time, had treated me almost coolly. The next day I and Marie found ourselves alone at last. M. de Leautaud was away on an angling excursion; Madame de Nicolai M'as occupied in superintending her gardeners. We shut ourselves up in my room ; and I was on the point of interrogating Marie resjjecting her distress, M'hen she said abruptly, that " she wished me to marry." This unexpected ad- MADAME LAFARGE. / dress took me completely by surprise, and I was unable to utter a word. Without, how- ever, awaiting any reply, Madame de Leau- taud proceeded to speak of the reasons that should govern my decision ; pointing out to me the void in my existence, and describing the falseness and dependence of my position in respect to the world. *' You have no fortune, and are almost twenty- three," she added; " a good marriage can alone confer in society that liberty neces- sary to your character. Listen seriously while I remind you of certain disagreeable but whole- some truths. Your health is not good, and the nature of your complaint does not add to your beauty 5 you will soon be an old maid, as dissatisfied with yourself as you will be dis- agreeable to others. Avert this by becoming an amiable wife. You would not hear me last winter, and evaded the subject every time I attempted to speak on it. Now I have caught you ; and here, away from the influ- ence of your aunts, I am determined to per- suade you to make up your mind, and to make you happy in spite of yourself." I listened in mute astonishment to the sud 8 MEMOIRS OF tleii proposition, and Madame Leautaud's con- jugal harangue. Guessing instinctively that this extraordinary solicitude on my account only veiled her real ohject, I answered, some- what impatiently, that she was very kind ; and expressing my sensibility of good intentions, declared my willingness to obey, provided the husband suited me. *' Perhaps you have high expectations, and romantic notions of love ? Confess to me what you would accept, and I will afterwards tell you whom I propose.'' " You know, ^larie, I no longer believe iii love as described by the poets, and as we ima- gine it in our dreams. I am resigned to take the world as it is, and consent to marry for worldly reasons. But you must understand, that, if I do not exact a handsome husband, a refined and affectionate mind, and a heart all passion ; if I determine to make a reasonable choice reasonably, I am justly entitled to re- gard, as indispensable in the party whom I shall accept, an honourable position in the world, for- tune, and an estimable and established charac- ter. I shall be indulgent as to his age ; I would even consent to immure myself in a castle, or MADAME LAFARGE. U dwell in a country town ; for I am of Caesar's oi)inion, and would prefer being first in a village to living second in Rome." " Excellent ! my project tallies admirably with your views. You will reign, for the hus- band whom I have chosen for you is a sub-- prefect : his age is thirty-eight; he has no for- time^ but his hopes of advancement are certain. He is good-looking and clever^ and his name is George, — a pretty name, is it not ? In short, he is Mademoiselle Delvaux's brother." I was satisfied with all this^ except the con- clusion ; and I coidd not disguise from Marie that it would be as difficult for me to love Mademoiselle Delvaux as to obtain her affec- tion. To re-assure me, she told me that her governess's opinion of me was changed; that she now recognised her injustice, loved me with all her heart, and was the first who had desired this marriage, which was to make me her sister. I promised to reflect on the inconveniences attending my position, in order the better to appreciate the advantages of the step proposed for my welfare; and when, farther, I almost accepted the match, so far as the position of b5 10 MEMOIRS OF the party was concerned, and promised to pre- pare to listen favourably to his personal over- tures, Marie could no longer conceal her ex- treme joy, and embraced me tenderly. '' Your sinister and mysterious air at first quite alarmed me," said I ; '^ I almost feared that your terrors of the past winter had re- taken possession of you, and knew not what horrible phantom you had conjured up to test my friendship." '' Your friendship and affection are more necessary to me than ever. My former vague fears have become threatening realities. But you will save me ; you have assured me you will save me." Madame de Leautaud then informed me that her husband was exceedingly jealous, still more of appearances than of her lo\e ; that a person whom he had formerly loved, and who still possessed influence over him, revenged herself for his neglect, by wounding his vanity in the reputation of the woman who had been pre- ferred to her. Already had M. de Leautaud reproved her with asperity for some girlish indiscretions ; and she foresaw that he would never forgive the intrigue with M. Clave, which MADAME LAFARGE. 11 ■was at the same time a blemish and a subject for ridicule. " Tell me at once/' said Ij " whether M. Clave is really in Africa — as I am convinced he is — or at the Opera, as you \vere so certain in the winter ?" " Once more, I repeat that he is at the Opera. I recognised him distinctly among a group of chorus-singers ; and that his name is on the list, Mademoiselle Delvaux is as certain as myself.'' '^ I am still incredulous. To the perhaps deceptions evidence of your eyes, I have the more tangible proof of a letter to oppose. Why would you not suffer me to answer it ? We should have known by this time whether to fear him or to forget him." " You have not reflected, Marie, that he only dated his letter from Algiers the more easily to obtain your answer, and to remove from your mind all thoughts of its compro- mising you. Believe me, he is at this moment Vifirjurant at the Opera in Paris." " It may be so, but I am luiable to believe it ; and even should I compromise myself still further, I am resolved to write to him in Al- 12 MEMOIRS OF giers, — if only to convince you, and to set your mind at rest." " Do no such thing, I entreat you — I im- plore — " " Then confess that you have seen him, that you have written to him.'* " No, indeed/' said Madame de Leautaud Avith excitement. '^ I have obtained the most positive information respecting his circum- stances, M'hich are indeed deplorable : he is plunged in debt, and hiding from his credi- tors. His object is to enter society ; and he is just the sort of person to make use of a scandalous intrigue as a passport ; in a word, to ruin us by exposing our letters. Your family will be covered Avith obloquy through your inconsiderate folly ; while M. dc Leau- taud will probably demand a separation to save himself from the ridicule which in overwhelm- ing me would reflect upon him. I could never survive the blow. No sacrifice is too great to prevent the possibility of such a dis- closure. For Heaven's sake, assist me, Marie — save me, in saving yourself." I confess that all this shocked me extremely. Madame de Leautaud's fears gradually commu- MADAME LAFARGE. 13 iiicatecl themselves to me. I felt that she was hiding from me a secret — perhaps an interview, or a letter. What was I to imagine ? Between a young woman and a young wife no perfect confidence can exist. I dared not question Marie ; I dared not probe her secret ; I knew not how I could protect her, still less how I could save her. Taking her hands in silence, I gave her time to collect lierself, to speak more calmly. Marie had, in fact, formed a scheme, coun- selled, or at least countenanced, by Mademoi- selle Delvaux ; and upon hearing it, my terror became excessive. At the time of her marriage she had received a set of diamonds ; and her project was, to dis- pose of these, to employ the proceeds in ar- ranging M. Clave's affairs, purchasing back the letters, and sending him from France, — and thus put it out of his power to betray us by an indiscreet disclosvu*e, which, unsupported by proof, would be incredible. The project appeared to me at once dan- gerous and impracticable. I could bring my- self to doubt the noble sentiments of frankness and honour with which my friendship had en- 14 MEMOIRS OF dowecl M. Clave ; I could believe him unfortu- nate ; thatj compelled to have recourse to the stage for bread, he might have been tempted, in a momentary fit of desperation, to threaten Marie with revenge for her neglect and con- tempt : but depraved, or unprincipled, I could not believe him. I did not believe him capable of saying to a woman whom he had loved, — " Gold is as necessary to me as honour to you: inirchasc my silence, or I will ruin your repu- tation." I told Marie all that passed in my mind. I s\ipplicated her not to wound M. Clave's feel- ings by such a proposition, nor herself drive him to the very steps that it was her object to prevent his taking. Neither could I see how I could be of service to her ; I could only ad- vise — nor was my judgment to be relied on in a dangerous or difficult emergency. Marie entreated me, with the most urgent entreaties, to banish for ever all my romantic illusions of the noble-minded chevalier of past times. She solemnly assured me that she was fully justified in believing in M. Clave's want of honour 3 that she could, and ought to pur- chase his silence. She told me that M. Del- MADAME LAFARGE. 15 vaux was to be let into our secret — in short, his future bride's reputation, and his sister's peace, which would both be compromised, if Madame de Nicolai should discover the intrigue, made us certain of his concurrence and discretion. When unset, the diamonds would no longer be recognisable. I was to pretend to have re- ceived them from an old uncle, and to sell them previously to my marriage, in order to purchase less-expensive jewels for that occasion : all which, she said, would appear too natural to awaken suspicion. I was, however, far from satisfied ; and with- out daring positively to refuse Marie, I sought to raise objections, and to oppose difficulties, that I might avoid taking part in this impru- dent course. I pointed out to her that she might, with equal safety, confide her secret di- rectly to M. Delvaux, through his sister ; and expressed myself at a loss to understand how I could be so indispensably necessary an agent in a project of which I disapproved. '' Your heedlessness and inexperience blind you," replied she. " Mademoiselle Delvaux, who is willing to assist me even beyond the extent of merely advising, would never consent 16 MEMOIRS OF to serve me directly. That which in an un- married girl amounts to nearly luipardonable giddiness, would in a person at her time of lifcj enjoying my mother's confidence, and en- trusted with a sacred responsibility, be ac- counted an act of infamy. As for M. Del- vaux, a man cannot oppose himself to a man in an affair of this kind. You alone can unite the moral influence of the second Marie to the influence of hard cash of the first ; you only can receive my letters, and make known my conditions. While the least step on my part would add arms to those already possessed by M. Clave, yours cannot compromise you; for he could have no interest to divulge it ; and authorised by M. Delvaux, no one could pre- sume to blame your conduct. No one but you can undertake the conveyance of the money to M. Clave, in the form of a pension, if we should be unable to trust him so far as to pay him all at once." I yielded, and promised all that was required of mc ; too weakly forgetting that it is not per- mitted to repair the evil consequences of one false step by another. MADAME LAFARGE. 17 CHAPTER II. We frequeutly renewed our conversation re- specting M. Clave. Marie's terror and de- s^iair infected me more and more every day; and I gradually became almost reconciled to the marriage she proposed. In our long and solitary walks we were accustomed to speak of it as a matter finally settled. I was not indif- ferent to my future role of ^'^prefette^'' for in our plans M. Delvaux's protectors invariably pro- moted him to a prefecture upon his marriage. I saw myself in imagination doing the honours of an entertainment, and gaining the good opinion of all the proprietors in my husband's department, to be directed into the proper channel on occasion of the elections ; I visited the poor and the schools; I was blessed by the wretched, esteemed by my husband, and in short, the flattering dream was com- 18 MEMOIRS OF plete, and I succeeded in engrafting a romance on the common-place life that would have fallen to my lot on the realisation of Marie's project of marriage. At timesj however, my resolution failed. When I spoke of my marriage with doubt, timidity, or sorrow, Marie, calling in aid a thousand little seductive arts, spoke to me of our return to Paris, of our i*enewed and strengthened friendship, of the splendour of the capital, and of my bride's-clothes. Then she would revert to her project of tlie diamonds, foretelling its realisation and its consequences ; anticipating with delight the happy day when, shut up together, \vc should once more rcperuse our redeemed billets-doux previously to offer- ing them up an auto-da-fe to our peace of mind. In short, without convincing my rea- son, she forestalled every objection. The country air, exercise, and amusement, soon restored my health. I seldom suffered pain, and added to my diet occasionally straw- berries, some excellent cheese, and milk which we went to the farm to drink, warm and frothy from the cow. The life I led was asrreeable and diversified MADAME LAFARGE. 19 enough. I arose late, and the breakfast-bell summoned me from my room. Marie and I shut ourselves up to work in the library, or walked in the park, — always alone, for M. de Leautaud spent his mornings in tracing a plan^ out on horseback, or quietly angling for gud- geons in the brook. At four o'clock, Marie visited her son in the nursery, and I seated myself at the piano until the first dinner-bell. After dinner, we chatted on the terrace, or played at billiards, or sang, until we separated for the night, which was my time for reading and correspondence. Madame de Leautaud, desirous of doing the honours of her neighbourhood, took me to Pon- toise, a pretty little town built on a smiling hill-side, with a Gothic cathedral, offering hand- some facades and charming specimens of the architecture of the middle ages ; — then to visit M. de G * * *, at his seat a few leagues from Busagny. The morning we selected for this latter ex- cursion was oppressively warm; dense masses of cloud rapidly gathered, dark and threaten- ing, immediately over our heads. Soon vivid flashes of lightning, preceding heavy peals of 20 MEMOIRS OF thunder, were succeeded by torrents of rain that M'ctted us to tlie skin before we arrived. A gate opening into the high street of the vil- lage admitted the carriage into a gloomy paved yard; and upon alighting we were ushered into a spacious half-darkened drawing-room, with furniture of fifty years' standing; an host of the same age gravely welcomed us with the air of one awaking from a dream. We arrived laughing heartily at our disasters on the road : but the fixed and unhappy look of the owner of the mansion produced a sud- den and general reaction. A walk in the garden was proposed. We found the walks carefully raked, and without the trace of a foot- step ; the very trees had for me a mournful and dishevelled air, raindrops for tears falling fast from the leaves ; while not a flower was in blossom. I communicated my impressions to Madame de Leautaud ; and she replied, — " M. de G * * * jg ii^y father's friend : I frequently see him, and always as you see him now. It is whispered that in very early life our neigh- bour married a charming girl, with every pro- spect of happiness. Up to his wedding-day. MADAME LAFARGE. 21 M. de G * * * was the happiest of men and the tenderest of lovers ; the day after, he was no longer seen to smile, and his eye had grown cold and dull. His young wife never quitted her room, and a year afterwards died, after having given birth to a son/' Marie could satisfy my curiosity no further ; a painful mystery seemed to chill the place/ and I left it sorrowfully affected, and a prey to profound emotion. 22 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER III. M. Delvaux arrived on a Saturday evening, to sign the contract, and Mademoiselle de Beaii- voir's marriage was to take place the following Monday. My heart beat violently as I entered the room that contained my possidly future hus- band. Without being old, he was no longer j-oung ; very light hair, very blue eyes, and very rosy cheeks, composed a calm and com- placent set of features in which nothing could reasonably be objected to : his form was im- posingly obese, and his slow and measured lan- guage strongly characteristic of the sub-prefect. In the course of this first evening Madame de Leautaud contrived us a thousand little op- portunities to speak to each other. He did not con\erse very well ; but the few words with which he interrupted the tedium of reading the contract were well rccci\ed ; and when Marie MADAME LAFARGE. 23 asked me what I thought of him, I replied that tune was necessary to enable me to form an opinion, but that in the meanwhile he did not displease me. The next day was Palm-Sunday ; and after having attended mass in the chapel at Osny, Marie led me into the park. She was in tri- umphant spirits, — the success of the candidate of the previous evening having left no doubt in her mind of the fortunate issue of her project. I had not said ^^ nay ;" and as for M. Delvaux, he had said '' ^lye" as plainly as man could speak ; and she had decided that this day of festivity, of confusion and preparation, should answer for the disappearance of her diamonds. It was no easy matter for her thus to rob herself. The jewels were kept in the drawer of a bureau, of which she alone possessed a key ; the passage that led to her room led to no other ; it was impossible for a sti'anger to invent a pretext for passing that way ; it would therefore be necessary to suppose that a strange thief, knowing exactly where the diamonds were kept, had chosen his time to force the drawer, regardless of danger, and fearless of a sudden "24 MEMOIRS OF surprise, against which he could not guard, and from which escape would have heen impossible. To prevent suspicion falling on the people of the house, it was necessary to make some of these improbabilities appear probable — to find, therefore, a pretext for renioving the diamonds from the drawer and taking them down into the drawing-room, and to leave them there Avithout too palpable negligence. These indispensable circumstances, so diffi- cult to combine, almost naturally presented themselves this day. Of that, I was aware ; and notwithstanding mj' desire not to under- stand it, I had consequently only faint objec- tions to urge : I could object to the project, but retard or prevent its execution I could not ; the hour was come, and it must either be re- nounced for ever, or carried into prompt and immediate execution. I had recourse, in despair, to the information it was necessary to obtain regarding M. Del- vaux : I remarked that my aunts might ojjpose obstacles to my wishes, that I was naturally anxious to know something of him who was to be my future lord and master, &c. But MADAME LAFARGE. 25 Marie having met and overcome every one of my scruples, once more I yielded. After dinner we led the conversation to Ma- damoiselle de Beauvoir's wedding-presents, and subsequently introduced the subject of her dia- monds. Marie expressed her preference of Lecointe's style of setting to that of Jean- isset ; and sending for her jewel-case in sup- port of her opinion, its truth was quickly admitted, and due honour ascribed to M. Le- cointe's good taste. The drawing-room was soon deserted ; Ma- dame de Nicolai went to walk in the garden .; MM. de Nicolai and de Leautaud were, I be- lieve, obliged to go to Pontoise on business ; vespers called the ladies to church ; while some of the domestics were engaged at Osny, making preparations for the next day; and others had errands to perform in the town. In short, all being abandoned and in disorder in the little castle, Marie placed her jewel-case on a work-table that stood near the low window's opening on the outer yard, and before which beggars were accustomed to solicit alms that were never refused. Afterwards, while M. VOL. II. C 26 MEMOIRS OF Delvaux v.as engaged whispering in my ear amorous assurances of a sub-prefect's love, Marie quickly removed her diamonds from their case, and took them up stairs to her room, to avoid the risk of having our plan executed by a real tliief. Then we in our turn quitted the room, and took a long walk to- gether. We were absent three hours. Upon om* re- turn, as we had hoped and foreseen, we found no one in the drawing-room, and the case was ostensibly removed by Madame de Leautaud. By way of additional precaution, Marie asked her mother in the evening whether during our long absence she had entered the saloon; and the reply was in the negative. M. Alfred de Gouy, who had been the only visitor during the gene- ral absence, had made the house re-echo with his cries ; and after having bawled himself hoarse, and left the house in despair, had been met in the park by Madame de Nicolai. To neglect no means of justification, Madame de Leautaud left the key in the lock of the diamond-drawer; and as the domestics on fete- days, and such extraordinary occasions as the MADAME LAFARGE. 27 preparations for the marriage at Osuy, were scarcely ever at Busagny, suspicion would na- turally light on a stranger. In the evening that followed this gi-eat con- spiracy, although M« Delvaux was openly very amorous and extremely attentive, I was so pre- occupied by the thoughts of the steps we had taken, and the sad impi'essions inspired by Ma- demoiselle de Beauvoir's approaching marriage, that Marie, perceiving it, led me out to walk on the terrace ; and, wishing to dispel my dark fore- bodings, began talking about Mdme. de N * * *, who Mas expected. I knew this lady to be a votary of high fashion, and feared that she would be dissatisfied and disdainful ; but Marie assured me that we had nothing of the sort to apprehend, and related to me her melancholy and affecting story. Madame de M * * *, forgetful of a hus- band by whom she was adored, and their in- fant, permitted the dishonourable addresses of M. de F * '•' *, and soon returned his passion. Madame de N * * * at her birth was clan- destinely removed by M. de F * * *, and con- fided to his Avife, an angelic creature, vtiio lavished the most tender cares on the infant, c2 28 MEMOIRS OF and continued to nurse it with disinterested and aftectionatc solicitude, until [Madame de M * * *, separated from her husband, could herself take charge of her child. Madame de M * * * having no fortune, was compelled to build all hopes of her daughter's future pi*o- spects on an admirable voice ; and the child was educated accordingly. Occasionally the mother saw her son : separated by the world, the brother and sister were not divided in tlicir hearts ; and after Madame de ]M * * * 'g death, her poor orphan found a welcome refuge in her brother's strong affection. The young man's conduct was above all praise. Adored by his father, he exerted all his influence to make him love and appreciate his sister, and succeeded in procuring that she should share with him their parent's name, fortune, and affection. I found Madame de N * * * amiable, beau- tiful, and of pleasing manners ; she sang with refined talent and an admirable facility of execution. Having l)oth of us received les- sons from Madame de Lina Freppa, the dis- course turned on music, and we were soon almost friends. MADAME LAFARGE. 29 As for M. de N * * *, he appeared to me too conscious of his personal charms to care about pleasing by his conversation. He spoke well on matters relating to art, very ordinarily on fashionable topics, and worse than indiffer- ently on grave and serious subjects. A vio- lent Carlist, his was one of those enthusiastic devotions to the cause, that invent mottoes and go the length of wearing a cravat of its party's colours- Mademoiselle de Beauvoir's marriage was solemnised in the church at Busagny. The bride preserved throughout the ceremony her ha^jpy equanimity, while her sister was agi- tated by the most lively anxiety. The bride- groom, M. de G * * *, was far from appearing either happy or even cheerful : I felt for him ; for Marie had explained to me the cause of his misery. Brought up almost together, he had passionately loved Marie, had offered her his hand and his heart, and had been rejected. The ne^vs of her marriage with M. de Leau- taud reaching him at Vienna, where he had sought oblivion of the past, a dangerous fit of illness ensued. M. de G * * * was hand- some, with a noble countenance, a distinguished 30 MEMOIRS OF figure, and agreeable manners, — in a word, far superior in every respect to M. de Leautaud ; yet Mith the melancholy inconsistency of the human heart, he was unhappy in his love, and, as if in revenge, gained the affections of an amiable young girl to whom he was utterly indifferent. Why, O God ! this continual path of suffering ? why these conflicting affec- tions, which destroy your feeble ci*eatures ? A stranger to these ordered joys and secret griefs, I sat apart, turning over the leaves of some albums spread over the drawing-room table. A young gentleman, solitary and mourn- ful like myself, shared my amusement : an ex- change of books and common-place remarks led our thoughts into unison. lie was Mademoi- selle dc Beauvoir's cousin, and her guardian's son ; and he was mortified by the indifferent welcome extended to him, and the neglect with which his father was treated. M. de Beauvoir was talented and well-educated, and possessed the most noble sentiments; he made me forget that the hours were long, and that I should therefore find them wearisome. He sat near me during an interminable dhiner ; and in the evening, during the fireworks in honour of the MADAME LAFARGE. 31 wedding, he was again by my side. We almost became intimate friends ; and upon his leaving, I parted from him with regret. Marie was very satirical the next morning on the subject of my conquest of the day be- fore ; and finding fault with me for having tolerated attentions not from M. Delvaux, ex- pressed herself in language almost amounting to reproof. This foretaste of matrimonial des- potism inspired me with discouraging reflec- tions. However, M. Delvaux's sedulous atten- tion and his sister's tenderness gradually re- stored me to my former indifference. In a few days thfey both set out for Paris, M. Delvaux expressing himself desirous of a definite an- swer, and professing a due share of amorous impatience. Madame de Leautaud spoke for me; replying that my decision would depend upon my family and the advice of my friends, and that I had no personal objection. I wi'ote to my aunts, to announce the hus- band who Mould present himself for their ap- proval ; and to the Marquess of Mornay, whose generous character and excellent judgment juade me anxious to have his advice. I begged 32 MEMOIRS OF him to procure information at the Ministere de rinterieure ; and conjured him, by his friend- ship for my mother, to assist my irresolution by his good counsel. MADAME LAFARGE. 33 CHAPTER IV. I HAD been three weeks at Busagny ; Madame de Montbreton urged my departure, to acce- lerate my arrival at Corey ; and I only waited for answers from my aunts and M. de Mornay, to set out. Although my position induced me to consent to a marriage of convenience, I secretly hoped that obstacles would break off the match, and manv causes consjjired to strengthen my wishes. M. Delvaux's political opinions seemed to me narrow-minded, and formed in servile imita- tion of those of the ministry for the time being, whatever its shade of politics or character might be. He understood nothing of the royalists^ devotion to long-tried institutions, nor of the patriotism of the liberal, who anticipates the future. Intolerant of discussion, to support his principle of blind and implicit obedience to c5 34 MEMOIRS OF the ruling powers of the day, he M'oukl admit no other argument than coercion. Moreover, M. Delvaux, having to return in a few weeks to liis duties, was desirous that the ceremony should take place immediately ; and that terri- fied me. I durst not confide my fears to Marie. Her ideas on the subject of matrimony were most arbitrary ; she professed it as her opinion that a husband should be accepted without dis- cussion ; and met my least w'ord expressive of opposition by sarcastic and offensive reflections on my lofty pretensions. In short, to avoid her ill-temper and my secret irresolution, I abandoned myself to the decision of my rela- tives, to the advice of my friends, and to the grace of God. Differing from me, Marie wished to contrive the discovery of the supposititious I'obbery of the jewels with as little delaj'as possible; while I was of opinion that we had better take our time, and wait till the winter, — which seemed to me the more advisable plan. The jewel- case, as I have said, was kept in a drawer of Mhich she alone possessed the key ; and as, in the country, she was certain of having no occa- sion to wear her diamonds, it was much easier MADAME LAFARGE. 35 therefore to let them lie forgotten, than to find a means of calUng attention towards them, and then to establish the fact of their theft without suspicion of the real fact. Marie thought dif- ferently. She did not vvWix to be alone to bear the first shock. In six months I should be away from her in sou\e distant department ; all our elaborate arrangement to screen the ser- vants from suspicion would by that time have been forgotten or easily overthrown, and she could not endure the terrible prospective. She told me that I could not be capable of aban- doning her in the hour of danger; insisting that my presence was necessary to support her — my sympathy to save her from sinking under her fears ; and, finally, that our mo- mentous resolution required to be promptly executed. I still adhered to my original opinion ; ])ut as it originated in a mixed sentiment of weakness and selfishness, which I was half ashamed to avow, I yielded ; and we resolved that on the next day, which was a Sundaj-, we would de- liver ourselves from all further anxiety by a bold and decisive step. Marie, on pretence of having a few lines to 36 MEMOIRS OF write, contrary to her custom, stepped up stairs to her apartment in the middle of the day, begging M. de Leaiitaud and me, as we were disengaged, to accompany her, and take our seats in her comfortable causeuses. The conversation we presently turned on Bourguig- non's well-imitated false jewellery; M'hich I pronounced to be so perfect, that at a short distance it could not be distinguished from real stones; instancing several leaders of fashion, who, possessing superb diamonds, often wore them with Bourguignon's paste without obser- vation. Marie maintaining the contrary, we ajDpealed for a decision to M. de Leautaud ; and I offered to produce for comparison Avith her diamonds the clasp of my missal, which was ornamented with some of the strass-paste. I fetched it; Marie opened the drawer, took out her jewel-case, and, to her consternation, found it — empty. An inquiry and search were immediately instituted. Tlic lady's maid behig sent for, declared that she had never seen the jewels "^ since the day that Madame had sent for them in the drawing-room." Marie then re- membered that on that occasion she had placed MADAME LAFARGE. 3/ them on the work-table^ and, through unac- countable forgetfulness, had there left them during several hours while we were out walk- ing. She had a distinct recollection of having carried the case up stairs on her return, and also of having hastily put it away, without first ascertaining by inspection that the diamonds were all safe Avithin. There was no longer any doubt that they had been stolen by a beg- gar or a vagabond ; and all the accessory circumstances that we could recal to mind strengthened and confirmed this belief. We remembered having been a very long time away, and having pushed the table near the window to waltz a little after dinner ; that all the domestics were absent ; that the case on the table could be plainly seen, and easily reached, through the open window; that we had observed several men of suspicious ap- pearance in the neighbourhood, &c. Fi-antic at the consequence of his wife's negligence, M. de Leautaud upbraided her with the harshest reproaches. He ransacked every drawer, overwhelmed us with questions, and searched all our work-baskets in the drawing- room ; while Marie and I stood apart in con- 38 MEMOIRS OF sternatioii, which increased when we heard of M. de Nicolai's intention of sending to the magistrates for two gendarmes to search all the servants' rooms. The evening was spent in conjectures and recriminations. M. de Nicohii alone preserving his temper. As for M. de Leautaud, he was raving ; and after having exhausted the lan- guage of passionate reproof, and suspecting nearly everybody in turn, learning that M. Al- fred de Gouy had been some short time alone on the deserted premises on the memorable Palm-Sunday, he seriously persuaded himself that he had taken the diamonds to present to one of his mistresses : and it Mas long before he would retract, with an ill grace, this insult- ing and in)justifiable i:-uspicion. All that night my terror for the conse- •quences of our imprudence was unbounded ; and the next morning I declared to Marie, that no eartlily poM'er r^hould induce me to retain possession of iier jewels (M-hich had been hidden for some days in my room) Mhile the officers of justice were in the house. I wished her to take them back again, and entreated her to renounce her project, if it were not yet too MADAME LAFARGE. 39 late. Unfortunately, she was not to be con- vinced. The immediate danger seemed to frighten her much less than the prospective. Her anxiet)'-, it is true, equalled mine ; but she could devise no means to have the dia- monds found in a natural way, and believed that having advanced so far, the slightest hesitation would entail irreparable conse- quences. Marie could not succeed in calming me ; but her prayers and entreaties deprived me of cou- rage to abandon her to herself. What was to be done with the fatal diamonds ? To conceal them in her apartment was impossible : her attendant turned topsy-turvy every thing in it twenty times an hour; and M. de Leautaud had made it the theatre of his interminable per- quisitions, his despair, and loquacious invective against his wife : there was not a nook or cor- ner safe from his prying investigation ; and although I felt the extent of my poor friend's anguish, I confess that I had no courage to keep her dangerous deposit. On a sudden, while we were perplexing ourselves for an ex- pedient in this iDerilous emergency, we heard 40 MEMOIRS OF the gendarmes' swords clanking on the hall- pavementj and it became necessar}' to act. We ^vere conversing in my room, and had barely time to hide them in a pair of long gloves and thrust these precipitately imder the cush- ion of an arm-chair, into which Marie then threw herself. And so, Avith failing hearts and a smile on our features. Me awaited the issue of this terrible judicial visit. Who can describe our sufferings while the gendarmes Avere prosecuting their researches ? Every step seemed directed towards us, every question to be addressed to us, every look to watch us. Seated together at the door of my room, whicli we had left open in order to appear to be observing with interest what was passing, we experienced a degree of terror amounting to the most painful torture all the time of the minute investigation of the gen- darmes. Alas ! how vain and weak are strug- gles against remorse and conscious guilt ! Nor did our tribulation cease upon the de- parture of the dreaded instruments of law: another determination l)ecame immediately necessary; for to conceal the diamonds with MADAME LAFARGE. 41 their setting was impossible. I had no hiding- place for them. All my keys were kept by Lalo, my cashier and my confidante, who unscrupulously, and with the chartered im- punity of an old and faithful personal attend- ant, detected and shared half my secrets, read all the letters that I did not shew her, and informed herself of whatever I might have wished to withhold from her knowledge. This Marie knew; but still more vmwilUng to take Lalo into our confidence than to release me from my trust, she resolved to destroy the set- ting of tlie jewels, and to convert her rich ornaments into unsightly and common-look- ing little stones. We applied ourselves to this work in my room, with penknives and scissors for tools. The task was a laborious one, and we were very clumsy : we even tore our hands in several places, heroically bearing the pain without complaint or relenting. Fortunately, wlien we came to the larger diamonds, the idea occurred to us of breaking up the setting with our feet; and so we facilitated and accelerated the rest of the work without further lacerating our hands. While thus employed, we spoke of M. Del- 42 MEMOIRS OF vauXj of my coming marriage, my wedding- presents, and the entertainments ; for ^larie, seeing me anxious and terrified at the least noise, wished to amuse me and to distract my attention. I remarked, as I wrenched off a largish pearl, that it seemed the j^omiger sister of one we had admired in an enamel ring worn by the Countess de Courval. ^^ It is not perfectly round/' said Marie, *' which impairs its vakie ; and perhaps re- mounted on a ring its defect would be conspi- cuous. But if you admire and will accept it, I shall be extremely gratified." " Thank you," replied I, laughing ; " but that would be robbing our hero.'' '' An excellent fancy strikes me. My jewels are in some sort the first cause of your mar- riage ; and determined I am to select from them your wedding-present — a souvenir to unite our past girlish intimacy with our future more wo- manly friendship. The large pearl shall be your George. Here are four smaller ones, which we will name after the persons of our wretched drama : this, the worst looking, shall be M. Clave; this. Mademoiselle Delvaux; and here are the tv.o Maries." MADAME LAFARGE. 43 Although I laughed good-humouredly at this sallj', I refused to accept the pearls. ^^ Nay," said Marie, her temper rising, " it is a wedding- gift, and you shall in return make me another, which I promise not to refuse. Will not that be like an exchange ? . . . . You still object ; then I propose another arrangement. I am, you know, indebted to you in a little sum I borrowed : take the five pearls in payment, and we are quits." " On those terms I do not mind accepting them." "Thanks. Here they are; put them away apart from the rest.^' The dinner-bell put a stop to our unfinished labovirs for that day; and as there was com- pany, wishing that our late appearance should not be remarked, we hastened ta conceal the jewels between the lining of a reticule, leaving some with part of their setting attached. The next day, Marie would have ended our work ; but I opposed it, partly through idleness; telling her, as she observed me closely, that the frag- ments of the setting would make them easily recognised, and adding that we should remove it all before offering them for sale. 44 MEMOIRS OF While Lalo was undressing me that evening, I asked her what effect was produced below stairs by the discovery of the theft, and the steps that had been taken in consequence. She told me that all the domestics were in consternation, and openly expressed their dis- content at Madame de Leautaud^s negligence in leaving property of such enormous value ex- posed in the drawing-room to the first comer ; as also their indignation at the conduct of her attendant in not having removed the key from her mistress's drawers while the wedding-enter- tainments were celebrating at Osny ; thus sub- jecting them to the humiliating reseai'ches of the police, and the still more humiliating sus- picions of the family. I also understood that M. de Nicolai's suspicions having lighted on a recently-engaged domestic, named Stephen, the poor man was in the utmost distress, fear- ing a discharge without character, and the consequent ruin of himself, his Avife, and family. The grief of this poor man, whom I knew to be innocent, yet knew not how to clear from suspicion, strongly affected me. I had believed myself guilty of an action imprudent and blame- MADAME LAFARGE. 45 able only ; but when I rigorously examined my conduct, the feelings of remorse which I expe- rienced were so intolerable, that forgetful of every thing but poor Stephen's misfortune, I charged Lalo to console him by assuring him from me that so far from doubting his probity, if he should be compelled to leave Busagny, I would recommend him to my aunts, who among their numerous friends would certainly provide him with a good situation. I sent him my ad- dress, in order, by insuring his application to me, to retain certain means to repair the in- voluntary injury I had done him ; and I fur- ther promised to speak in his favour to Ma- dame de Leautaud. The next day I endeavoured to communicate these sentiments of repentance to Marie, and earnestly besought her courage- ously to support an innocent man, our victim, against the unjust suspicions of her family. She promised compliance ; but weak and for- getful in the extreme, she either forgot or shrank from fulfilling her engagement. The answers 1 expected from Paris, as to my marriage, arrived. My aunts recommended me not to be precipitate ; representing the position 46 MEMOIRS OF of a fortuneless sub-prefect as very precarious. M. de Mornay was more precise. He wrote me that M. Delvaux's future prospects were not promising — that he had nothing to hope, and eveiy thing to fear : the information the ^Marquess had obtained was by no means fa- vourable ; and shortly advising a refusal, my mother's noble friend supported his advice by unanswerable reasoning. Marie's indignation at this intelligence knew no bounds. She ridiculed my firm confidence in ^I. de Mornay, declared that his interven- tion was ill-timed and most improper, attacked his arguments, &c. Madame de Nicolai also thought proper to inflict upon me a jeremiad of formidable length and asperity. In short, I was harassed all day by their oftensive remarks, turning continually upon my dependent posi- tion, Avhich, according to them, left me no liberty of choice, and made it my duty to ac- cept with gratitude the first offer. A poor girl can suffer no worse martjTdom than the persecution of friends bent upon pro- viding her with a husband. They would make her happy in spite of herself; and there is no i MADAME LAFARGE. 4/ pardon for her who revolts against the panacea of happiness with which friendship would drug her on these occasions. Sad and weary, and desirous of leaving Bu- sagny, the next day, I told Marie that my marriage with ]M. Delvaux being broken off, I would return to her the diamonds. Unable to control her passion at this, she accused me of an intention to ruin her — reproached me with abandoning her in revenge for a few angry words prompted by the warmth of her friend- ship. She said tauntingly that I had never loved her ; that I had filled her head v,ith M. Clave, and now left her to support alone the consequences of an indiscretion that I had shared ; that my conduct was selfish, cruel, malignant. Then followed a torrent of ten- der reproaches and entreaties, which unfortu- nately had far more influence than her invec- tive over my resolution. I -svas heart-broken. I tried in vain to calm her, in vain I sought to make her comprehend that my position being a thousand times more dependent than hers, it would be impossible for me to assist her; that I knew no jewellers; that I never went out alone ; that I should have no 48 MEMOIRS OF opportunity of seeing M. Clave, even to give him the diamonds themselves, and still less of sending them, without taking Lalo into our confidence. Although compelled to admit the truth of all this, Marie still asked me to retain the jewels until she could find an opportunity to convert them into money; and to justify her request, urged the impossibility of keeping them her- self — the absence of Mademoiselle Delvaux, of whose advice and assistance she would be de- prived for six whole months — and, finally, the insignificance of the favour asked at my hands — simply to keep a reticule in one of my drawers. Almost ashamed of myself for not having married to assist Madame de Leautaud, I consented to accept the less important part she now proposed, with more vexation than serious anxiety. I stayed a few days longer at Busagny. Madame de Leautaud determined herself to accompany me to Paris ; and the journey proved a most delightful one. After threading, on a fine June morning, the shady avenues of the forest of St. Germain, we exchanged our light britzka and rapid horses for the railway- I MADAME LAFARGE. 49 train ; and were soon whirled to Paris by all- powerful .steam, the favourite Pegasus of the practical philosophers of the nineteenth cen- tury. VOL. II. 59 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER V. A FEW days after, I set out for Corey, where I was received with the most affectionate wel- come by Madame de Montbreton. I related to her the matrimonial project of her sister, complaining in mild terms of Marie's asperity, and her mother's liarsli censure of my refusal. Madame de Montbreton approved my conduct, denouncing the match as a most ineligible one, according to her ideas; M. Delvaux having no fortune, his position being precarious, his fa- mily plebeian, and his own nullity being incon- testable. "My dear child," she added, "Marie would have thrown you away upon her governess's brother ; but you must not bear malice. You know my mother only sees with her eyes ; that my sister has hardly common sense ; and MADAME LAFARGE. 51 she is so thoughtless for herself, that it may be easily forgiven her being so for others." My first return to Villers-Hellon awakened many painful reminiscencesj and cost me abun- dance of bitter tears. When, in former years, I had returned after the wmter, I used to spring from the carriage to meet my venerable grandfather, to kiss his silvery hair and return his warm smile ; to em- brace all my old nurses, Vv'ho half-stifled me with their caresses, and deafened me with their questions. Then I revisited every room in the house : first, my little tower ; next, my own apartment; thence I ran to the drawing-room, and from the drawing-room into the garden. I wished to see my good peasants, my own favourite trees, and my pets in the poultry- yard and stable, — all at once. I experienced unspeakable happiness in living to behold again all the objects of my affections. Now the sight of all that had once been my joy inflicted the most poignant sorrow. My good grand- father's arm-chair was empty — his room was closed. I felt that with him had departed all I had to love in this scene of my happy child- d2 52 MEMOIRS OF hood^ and mj^ first impulse was to repair to his tomb and weep. I found the turf green and flowery. I felt that there was for this last asylum a life of regretful remembrance. Every hour of my grandfather's life had been a blessing to those about him ; and in the village his name was never mentioned without devotion, and not always without tears. My aunt Blanche, after having allowed me to indulge unrestrained the first burst of my grief, treated me with that delicate kindness which, inexpressible in words, is read in the eyes, and felt in the manner and tone of voice: my uncle Maurice was attentive in the ex- treme ; and their children as charming as ever. Valentine placed his tiny hands before my eyes to stop my tears, and said, with his sweet voice, — "Do laugh, dear aunt; pray do laugh for me.'' And the stouter, Arthur, held out his rosy cheeks, which he patiently submitted to my lengthened kisses. I had returned to Corey by way of Long- pont; where I was received as a long-lost child by the excellent Madame de Montes- MADAME LAFARGE. 53 quion, who expressed the warmest anxiety for my healthy happiness, and future prospects. It was arranged that after the six Aveeks that I was to spend with Madame de Montbreton, I shoukl malve her house my home; and the l^rospect of dwelling with so prudent and ex- perienced an adviser was a source of much comfort. Never had Corey been so brilliant and so animated. They led there the most delightful coimtry life imaginable. The Avhole of the Montaigu family passed part of the summer there. Madame de M * * *^ arrived from Rome, whither she had fled to make a kind of Leucadian leap, more fortunate than Sappho, liad there found oblivion, and returned to en- chant us with her lively wit and brilliant spi- rits. Madame de B * * * was still the same kind, merry, corpulent creature. Finally, M. A. de M * * *, the artist, was, as ever, blunt and good-humoured — two qualities not over pleasing in him to Madame de Montbreton, who regarded as a great deficiency his want of those impassioned feelings, or that mute admi- ration iisually the tribute of young men to the hospitality of a gracious lady hostess. A. great 54 MEMOIRS OF deal of M. de Montaigu's talent lay in his brushes and in his voice. It would perhaps have been imprudent to talk seriously with him ; but it was most agreeable to hear him sing the sentiments and impressions of others. We often played in concert. To his rich voice he added a brilliant facility of execution, which could only have been attained by severe study. He would repeat from memory the most difficult fioritures of Lablache and Tam- burinij never required pressing to sing, and was never tired. The family were nearly always united at Corey. After breakfast we stayed in the draw- ing-room ; and while Madame de Montbreton reclined on her long chair, we conversed with her by turns. Then we read or worked ; and, after an hour's toilette, met at dinner : the even- ings were spent in general conversation, or in music, and occasionally a dance. All the families in the neighbourhood met at Corey on Sunday. I continued to suffer from my internal com- plaint, which kept my complexion as pale as ever, and I almost lived on milk and strawber- ries. Occasionally I took a walk, and more fre- quently long rides on horseback. On my noble MADAME L.AFARGE. 55 and fiery Eiranij left for my use by M. Elmore, I often rode over to Villers-Hellon ; or, accom- panied by M, de Montbreton, made excursions to view all the distant seats, extensive pro- spects, and romantic spots about the country. Sometimes we went shopping to the little village of Villers-Coterets. M. de Montbreton's amiability increased every day. He paid me the most assiduous attentions — very singular in the great merit of their not being addressed to the young and in- significant girl, but to the young vv'ife, refined, accomplished, and elevated in anticipation, by an aristocratic alliance, to the honour of com- manding universal homage and adoration. No- thing could be more absurd than this little anticipated amour. I laughed at it — rather amused to permit addresses to my future, to- lerable by their perspective, but of which I should never have suffered the foolish levity, had they been addressed to my present. I spoke of it to Madame de Montbreton ; who, highly delighted, asked me, laughing, to rid her, by a little forbearance, of the jealousy of her husband, who she averred became insupport- ably dull when he had only herself to love. 66 MEMOIRS OF Madame dc Montbretoii was a firm believer in Mesmerism ; she preached the mysteries of magnetism, implicitly avouched its miraculous cures, and manifested in short all the enthu- siasm of a proselyte. M. de Montesquiou was the antagonist with M'hom she found it most difficult to cope ; indeed her attacks upon his rational and well-founded incredulity having all failed, she determined to convince him tri- umphantly by proving on me the extent of her somniferous power. Upon my return one day from a distant ride, overpowered by the sultry weather and a violent pain in my stomach, she accordingly had me undressed, and made me lie down on a soft sofa. Placing my knees betwixt hers, she next told me to close my eyes, and commenced a series of slow and continuous passes, which at first seemed to thicken the air I breathed ; and, in the course of half an hour, plunged me into a deep sleep, which lasted some time. I heard loud cries of joyful surprise on awaken- ing. Unconsciously I had become a rare and precious subject, the hope and honour of mag- netic influence. It was proposed to renew the experiment; then to interrogate me respecting MADAME LAFARGE. 57 my sensations. I was of opinion that my sleep had been induced by fatigue ; but to this a thousand conchisive arguments were opposed ; and, too ill to contest the point, I suffered my languor to prevail, and believed what I v/as wished to believe. New experiments were tried the following day. Sleep again confirmed the first triumph ; M'ithout, however, convincing the incredulous, who presumed to think it natural that I should go to sleep at midnight, after a day of fatiguing exercise. They had, moreover, my silence to oppose to Madame de Montbreton's triumphs ; for unfortunately I did not speak, and — a mute Pythonissa — I was without an oracle, under the inspiration of the god who deprived me of sight. One morning I was awakened by Madame de Montbreton's entering my room with the sun's first rays, and seating herself on my ])ed. " Well," said she, " you have spoken at last. You have been talking of me, of your health, of the diamonds " I shuddered when she came to this word; but the explanation that followed brought a smile upon my lips, and calm to my mind. I had, it seems, answered D 5 58 MEMOIRS OF her questions respecting her sister's jewel-case, and the circumstances attending tlie robbery of the diamonds ; which, I had said, had been stolen by a foreigner, sold to a Jew, and were no longer in France, &.c. It was impossible for me to belie\'e that I had said all this ; and not at all desirous of becoming a false prophet, and being erected into a sibyl in the face of the world, I begged her to keep my revelations a secret. But to this she would by no means consent. In ecstacies at her success, she wrote a joyful account of the brilliant result of her experiments on me to her mother — a professed enemy of Mesmerism — and triumphantly pro- claimed her success to her neighbours and visitors. For nearly a month I thus continued to play the part of a talking-doll, giving utterance in my sleep to nonsense of which upon avv-aking I v/as compelled to take the responsibility. My science one day astonished even myself. Ma- dame de Montbreton, having on her finger a little pimple, which she could not succeed in removing, applied for advice to her adept ; and I prescribed an ointment compounded of alum and mercury. Regardless of the entreaties of MADAME LAFARGE. 59 her husband, who decried its imprudence, and of mine to have the sage nostrum submitted to the doctor, she persisted in trying the som- nambulist remedy — but to this day I am ignor- ant with what result. All this, which in my ill health had at first, in giving me peace, afforded amusement to others, soon became matter of serious anxiety. There was a mystery in it, which I could not fathom ; my words, which I knew to be oftener false than true, Avere of a nature to op- pose in me the blind faith that sets at naught reason and reflection ; and my respect for the dear magnetiser^s character would not suffer me to regard the whole affair as a plot. I talked the matter over with Lalo, who was philoso- phically sceptical ; but she was unable to obtain leave to see me when magnetised, although I sanctioned her wish. My incredulity was not unnoticed by Madame de Montbreton ; but to conquer it all her at- tempts were vain ; her arguments fell cold on my ear, and with all the influence she usually possessed over me, on this subject she failed to bring conviction to my mind. A singular circumstance almost shook my 60 MEMOIRS OF disbelief. The Board of Woods and Forests hav- ing a law- suit with M. Charpentier, I gathered, from a word or two dropped by a keeper and accidentally overheard by me, that he was un- . fairly dealt by ; and, without pausing to reflect, I wrote to M. Charpentier to denounce the conspiracy directed against him, and to inform him how to defeat it. Feeling that the step I had taken would only be blamed if known, I carefully concealed it. What, therefore, was my astonishment when Madame de Montbreton informed me that I had told her all, in a fit of somnambulic confidence, — that I had repeated to her my letter Avord for word ! Shocked and alarmed, I was unable to join in the laugh raised at my involuntary indiscretion, and I I'efused my consent to further experiments. I have, however, since learnt that my secret was not miraculously divulged by me in my sleep, but that it was simply discovered in my escrutoirc, where I had deposited it, as I thought in safety. One evening, when we Avere reading aloud a new vaudeville of Scribe's, the conversation becoming tlieatrical, nothing would do but we must get up a play. A piece was chosen and MADAME LAFARGE. 61 cast in a trice, and the parts copied out and distributed. Vaudeville -music, dresses, and properties, were immediately put into requisi- tion; and all became bustle and excitement. Madame de Montbreton, who had played in noble company at private threatricals, luider- took the most difficult parts, and became our prima donna; I was entrusted with the board- ing-school misses and innocently-witty wards, with a green apron, and a rose over my ear; M. de Montesquieu was to play the noble fathers, Auguste de Montaigu to discharge the light-comedy characters, and Fernand was our walking gentleman. Several days were devoted to the conning of our parts. Those who were quick at study made short work of it, while the dull sate apart holding their foreheads. Madame de Mont- breton svv'ung in her hammock ; v.hile I, gene- rally not far from her, was perched on the top step of a gymnastic ladder, intent on my part, and my head in the clouds. In the evenings, which were devoted to rehearsal, we laughingly criticised one another's droll declamation and awkward attempts at stage gesticulation ; and 62 MEMOIRS OF nothing could be more original and diverting than these family amateur theatricals. We were on the eve of our first performance; the stage was prepared, our dresses finished, the neighbours bidden to applaud, — when I re- ceived a letter from my aunt Garat, recalling me immediately to Paris, where mj^ uncle De Martens awaited my arrival with a suitor for my hand ! The news and the order to depart filled me with constei'nation. " Good heavens, Marie ! whatever has hap- pened?" cried Madame de Montbreton, who stood by while I read my letter. " A husband has been found for me, madam — that's all,*' I replied; and proceeded to in- form her of my sudden recall to Paris by my aunt. A consultation followed, and on the very stage where we finished our rehearsal, we wrote word to my aunt that in order not to disappoint my friends of long- anticipated pleasure, my expected arrival would be deferred one day ; and that I would set out the next night, imme- kdiately after the play was over. Wearied by my part and my conflicting emo- MADAME JjAFARGE. 63 tions, stunned by the applause, I hastened from the stage into the carriage, crowned with laurels and laden with the floral spoils of my triumph; and reached Paris still intoxicated with my success and the perfume of my bou- quets. 64 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER Aa. My aunt received me rather coolly. She had left the country and her friends for the ap- pointed interview ; and my day's delay had compelled the young man, who was away from his business, to defer a further appointment until the end of the week. Some information respecting him v\'as accorded me ; and 1 heard that he was rich, handsome, twenty-six years old, and the son of a maitre de poste, living a short distance from Paris. I was far from sharing the general enthusiasm. Resigned to a marriage of convenience, of course I could not object to the article of fortune ; but while handsome features were not indifferent to me, my pride revolted from an alliance with a maitre de poste. I had always regarded the business as conducted ])y enriched vulgar MADAME LAFARGE. 65 contractors, versed in arithmetic, but ignorant of good breeding; vain, purse-proud, and silly. I ventured to make a remark or t\A'o to that effect ; and thej- were received with displeasure. I was given to understand, that without beauty or fortune I could aspire to no better match ; and my aunt, in her anxiety to see me happily married and settled, forgot that she not only wounded my vanity, but also my heart, in making me suspect the maternal tenderness of her own. The next day, M. de Martens rejoined us with mysterious looks ; he had reflected on my objections, admitted their justice, and, upon re- consideration, offered me, instead of the post- ing-master, an iron-master. Unable to refrain from joining my aunt Garat in laughter, I asked him where he had discovered his mine of hus- bands. He appeared not to relish our jocose- iiess, replying, coldly, that he had made their acquaintance at a rich merchant's of his con- nexion. I had only known one iron-master, M. Muel ; I knew him to be rich and educated, and that he passed alternately six months in Paris, and six in tlie Vosges. As I had been told that mining speculations conferred great 66 MEMOIRS OF local inliuence, my first impression was not unfavourable ; and as the mania for discussing my prospects, and marrying me, was spreading amongst my relatives and friends, and submit I must to the common lot, I resolved this time seriously to examine and reflect, with the firm intention of not shrinking from the ordeal, if all the requisite conditions sho\ild unite. M.de Martens was not in possession of posi- tive information ; he feared that the distance from Paris would frighten me, and my aunt Garat also shrank from the thoughts of this separation, which she regarded as little short of exile. The matter, however, did not trouble me : I had been at Strasbourg, and knew that civilisation extended even a hundred leagues from Paris. Fortune annihilated distance ; and as for country life, my head was still so filled with the pleasures of Corey, that I did not fear it ; and without anticipating that my future life would be so brilliant and diversified, I yet hoped that it would be peaceful, unrestrained, and hospitable. More precise information followed. M. La- farge was twenty-eight years of age, of honour- able family, of acknowledged good character. MADAME LAFARGE. 6/ great iuteliigence, and desirous of carrying out his speculations to the utmost extent. He was owner of one of the finest estates in Limousin, with extensive smelting-works and furnaces ; he possessed two hundred thousand francs in land and vested capital, secured from the risk of his speculations, and received a large income from his iron-works. I was also told that he had been six months in Paris on business and pleasure; that his wish was to return home with an educated wife to enliven him by her wit and talents ; that he had no relatives in Paris ; but that his friends, M. Gauthier, the deputy from Uzerche, and General Petit, a peer of France, would vouch for his position and character. My aunt almost forgot the hundred leagues that were to separate us, as she listened to the statement of M. Lafarge's circumstances, and I likewise was mightily pleased. As his per- son was not described, I had misgivings on that head ; but on recalling to mind all the husbands of my acquaintance, I could remem- ber so few handsome among the number, that I concluded a fatality prevented the alliance in the same husband of good looks and fortune. 68 MEMOIRS OF It became necessary so to arrange a first in- terview, that a possible objection on either part might be free and iinembarrassing ; so it was settled to take place in public, at Musard's concert, in the Rue Vivienne. M. de Mar- tens was to join us there accidentally, and in- troduce M. Lafarge as a friend j a conversation would ensue ; and the impressions left by the meeting were to be made mutually known the next day. My aunt was so delighted with my smiling prospects — she predicted so much happiness, such rich wedding-presents, and so charming a trousseau, — that I tranquilly allowed myself to indulge these golden dreams of the future ; and, obedient this time to the dictates of com- mon sense and the world's realities, fancied myself under the sway of reason, because not carried away by my feelings. I saw M. Lafarge for the first time on a Wednesday. The weather was most lovely, the sky cloudless ; and no presentiment of the dark future disturbed my mind. Ye plaintive breezes, that sometimes murmur in unison with the sighing of the wretched in this world, why awakened your voices no eclio MADAME LAFARGE. G9 ill my heart ? Oh, ye clouds ! coursers of the tempest, why sent ye no warning thunderbolt to rouse me from mjr sleep ! no lightnings to disclose the abyss yaAvning at my feet ! And ye lovely stars ! that shone upon me from your azure thrones, could ye send no pale and pro- phetic messenger of futurity, in falling, to pre- sage to the unhappy Marie her impending per- dition ! My aunt had dressed me in the colours that became me best. Strauss's exhilarating waltzes, played by the orchestra, lit up my eyes with recollections of balls and pleasure. And thus seen to advantage by M. Lafarge on his pre- sentation, I felt in an instant that his impres- sion was favourable. Not equally favourable was mine ; for M. Lafarge was extremely ugly. His form and features were the most business-looking con- ceivable. He spoke to me a good deal, but the noisy harmony of the orchestra drowned his words; and I retired for the night with my head filled with German dances, and forgetful of the important interview. The first thing the following morning the natural consequence followed. I was sum- 70 MEMOIRS OF moned by my aunt^ whom I found engaged perusing in exultation a heap of letters of all forms and sizes. She told me that I had made a conquest of M. Lafarge, that he was despe- rately in love;, that he had written to ask me in marriage, and to transmit the most minute information respecting his fortune, position, and character. The letters seemed dictated by real affection ; while the honourable signa- tures of the writers would not permit a suspi- cion of exaggeration. Letters written in order to satisfy the solicitude of a family, and to go- vern a decision involving a young girl's future prospects of happiness and well-being — letters promising her the protection of a man of ho- nour and his friends' affection, — letters of such fearfully sacred importance should be deliberate and irrefutable, filled with truth and the most certain information : such letters it is not per- mitted to question. One was from M. de Chauffailles, who, him- self alarge manufacturer, and the near relation of M. Lafarge, ought to have been the best and most trustworthy authority for his cousin's for- tune and the prosperity of his trade. Another, from M. de Chauvcron, a solicitor, MADAME LAFARGE. 71 calling himself the business-agent and intimate friend of the family, contained a grandiloquent account of their fortune, of the iron-works, of the mansion at Glandier, and spoke in moving terms of the strong affection subsisting between M. Lafarge and all his relatives. Other proprietors attested to the territorial value of the property. M. Boutin, the cure of Uzerche, guaranteed the morality of my lover 5 and in the heat of his knowledge of the human heart, sent for my edification a graceful picture in detail of the home where 1 was invited to forget my girlish dreams, and establish my new empire in abundance and joy. All this was perfectly satisfactory, — yet my aunt asked more. She begged M. Doublat, a friend of hers, to apply directly to M. Gau- thier; and the ansv/er was an eulogium on M. Lafarge's moral character, and further satis- factory guarantees of his commercial position. Not stopping at vague general information, M. Gauthier professed to regard his intimate friend M. Lafarge in the light of a son ; pronounced his fortune, from his own personal knowledge, to be one of the largest and stablest in Limou- sin : his mind he characterised as one of those 72 MEMOIRS OF vast intellectual capacities that live only for progression ; and after warmly praising his generous heart and strict probity, " Most happy, sir," he added, closing his dazzling enumeration, " will be the young lady who shall confide the happiness of her life to his keeping. Had I a daughter, I should be proud and happy to accept him for a son-in-law/' After the perusal of these letters and the flattering encomia they conveyed, I could no longer object to M. Lafarge en the score of ugliness, nor weigh this against the great and noble qualities ascribed to him. I wished to commence the serious business of life reason- ably — to make a good match ; and here M'as a rare opportunity, with, in addition, moral gua- rantees still more rare. I saw myself beloved by an excellent husband ; an orphan, I found a second mother, whom, kind and aftectionate as she was described, would claim my tenderest affection. Recluse from the fashionable world the greater part of the year, I should live for the friends who were to people my solitude, and blessed and beloved by the poor people who enriched us. Altliough my aunt \vas pleased with my 3IADAME LAFARGE. 73 ideas, she yet resolved not to suft'er me to hold long interviews with dame Reason, to whom I was almost a stranger, and who, like all des- pots, exacts passive obedience. She kept me near her, spoke to me of my futnre mansion, of her intended visits, and of mine in return to Paris. I^Iadame Dalauloy, v.ith whom also I spoke of my offer, was of opinion that it would be insanity not to accept it. In short, all con- spired to persuade me to consent. On the following Friday my aunt returned, if not a positive acceptance, at least a very favourable answer to M. Lafarge ; and when I entered the drawing-room, they were going over a thousand little confidential details, which my presence did not interrupt. '•' You must call upon uiy notary, sir, in order that you also may obtain the necessary informa- tion as to my niece's fortune," said my aunt. '•What information can I require, my dear- est madam? I know Mademoiselle Marie; and the matter of fortune has become of no importance." Deeply affected by this disinterestedness, I gratefully extended my hand to M. Lafarge; yoL. II. E /4 MEMOIRS OF and he spoke to mc of his mother, who would love me as a daughter : then he reverted to his future projects. He told me that Glandier was rather solitary, but that he saw a good deal of company; adding, that every spring, his business calling him to Paris, he should bring me to revisit my family. The next day M. Lafarge brought in a state- ment of the product of his manufactory. The actual net income was thirty-five thousand francs a year; which, when the completion of a road in progress of formation should super- sede the expensive transit of the iron on the ^ backs of mules, and my portion should have enabled him to extend his works, could not, he proved, amount to less than fifty thousand. On Sunday j\I. Lafarge dined at the bank. He and my aunt wore looks of deep import when I entered the drawing-room ; and they shewed mc the coloured plan of an extensive manufactory and Morks, headed by a view of a chaniiing mansion, whose blue-slated roof bar monised admirably with the sky; while smooth gravelled terraces led to a garden symmetrically laid out, with box borders, and aristocratic fountains in full pki}-. On a level with and MADAME LAFARGE. /D exactly opposite the house was an orchard, on whose verdant turf reposed the Gothic remains of a Chartreux church ; tv/o long rows of pop- lars supplied the avenue ; and a rivulet, that contributed the mite of its current to the water- po\ver that moved the works, bounded the garden by its gracefully-winding and bubbling stream. The sight of this pretty spot eliciting from me a cry of joy, " 'Tis your future home," said my aunt, kissing me, and giving M. Lafarge my hand : " it is your own, indeed ; for, with- out consulting you, we have hastened the tedi- ous preliminaries of the marriage, and the banns have been published this morning. A slight tremor shook me at this; I was uncertain whether to smile or weep, when, to calm me, my aunt adduced a thousand excellent reasons. M. Lafarge, she said, had been six months absent from his works, where his pre- sence had become indispensable. I ought to know, she continued, that nothing could be more disagreeable than the series of weai-isome interviews, in which it was impossible to study each other's temper, but very easy to grow mutually tired. And, after adding that AI. Lafarge, being proud of me, wished to shew e2 7(i MEMOIRS OF me at Pompadour races, which, attended by all the rank, wealth, and fashion of several de- partments, were to take place on the 19th of August,- — "Be merciful," she concluded, laugh- ing: ^'^ he burns with love and impatience; I also am gasping for breath in this scorching Paris, to Avliich I am only returned to see you married : so restore us to life and to the coun- try as speedily as possible."' The wedding-presents v/erc next to be con- sidered. M. Lafarge wishing to gi\'e me what- ever money could buy, and my aunt exacting that he should commit no extravagant follies, there ensued a contest between disinterested- ness and generous prodigality, and wise fore- sight; while I, embarrassed by my awkward situation, seated myself at the piano. M. La- farge shortly after rejoined me in ecstacies ; he adored music, and was enchanted at finding I possessed that accomplishment. It was settled that he should present me with an ex- cellent piano, Avhich Me were the next daj'' to select at Pleyel's. Accordingly we went ; and I had several instruments out of the sonorous apartments of the renowned maker sent to the bank for a day or two's trial. MADAME LAFARGE. ']'] When I had made choice of a very fine square piano, this new friend was at once despatched, that I miglit find it ready upon my arrival at Glandier. The days succeeding the memorable and decisive Sunday evening v/ere spent in a round of bustling preparations, which left me no time to reflect on the past, or calmly anti- cipate the future. The mornings were en- grossed by Madame Colliau's workwomen, try- ing and fitting my bride^s clothes, discussing some articles of dress, and proposing others. My trousseavi M'as, in truth, a charming one, and most complete ; and having been chosen by Madame Dulauloy, exemplified her excel- lent taste and elegant simplicity. This re- search in the imperceptible articles of the toil- ette has always seemed to me a luxury almost of duty. At noon my aunt claimed me until dinner- time. She had taken upon herself the exclu- sive charge of the selection of my corbeille, ransacking every shop, and persecuting legions of despairing milliners, to obtain the newest materials for dresses, unheard-of caps, and all- surpassing bonnets. Upon our return, when 78 MEMOIRS OF M. Lafarge had not accompanied us on ovu- trifling rounds, he stayed two hours. Some- times we went to the play, at others my aunt was away visiting ; and of these latter occa- sions I availed myself to write to my friends and make up my accounts. I rarely had a moment to devote to my piano. Madame de Monthreton wa-ote to me every day, in order, she said, to make me sensible of all the happiness in store for me, and to prevent my old romantic notions from obtaining an as- cendency in my mind. Madame de Leautaud was in Artois, at her sister-in-law's: in an- nouncing to her my marriage, I asked her what I should do with the diamonds, it being impos- sible to sell them previously to my marriage, while my departure immediately after its so- lemnisation w^ould leave me no time to attend to them after. I also expressed my sorrow at being unable to serve her, and my ardent wish to return her jewels, and rid myself of the re- sponsibility attending their possession. Marie promptly replied, that for her to keep her dia- monds was more impracticable than ever ; that M. de Leautaud's researches and suspicions went on increasing : she implored me, there- MADAME LAFARGE. 79 fore, to carry them with me into the countrj'-, and keep them until the return of Mademoi- selle Delvaux should offer us a means of making- use of them; — ^^ we may then," she added, " correspond without danger through her in- tervention ; but until then we must use the ut- most precaution." Then, to prevent the pos- sibility of consequences, she recommended me to burn her letter directly I had read it, as the one in which I had spoken of my marriage and of the diamonds had already been destroyed by her. Further on, Madame de Leautaud re- quested me to make use of the pearls she had formerly destined for my wedding-present, but to speak vaguely to her sister of her gift, with- out explaining of what it consisted. Finally, she demanded a full account of the wedding, my trousseau, my jewels, my present happi- ness, and my dreams of the future. Antonine was astounded by the intelligence of my marriage ; on reflection she was at first gratified, and finally displeased at having been taken so late into my confidence. I had some difficulty to make her understand that in ad- vising her of my changed prospects the day of publication of the banns, I had communicated MEMOIRS OF a fact as soon as it had been made known tc me, since tlirec days before I had not even seen M. Lafarge. The news was joyfully received at Villers- Hellon. My aunt and inicle Collard foresaw that the match would place me in a satis- factory position ; and my old nurses and cot- tagers forgot the hundred-and-twenty leagues in thinking of the thirty-five thousand francs a year. They had one regret, which I shared with all my heart, namely, that my future blessing was not to be pronounced in the midst of them, in their church, and by their good curate. jMadame de Martens Avas at Enghien for her health. M. Lafarge paid her a day^s visit; and my aunt shared the confidence of her hus- band, who incessantly vaimted of having in- sured my happiness. My resolution was fully approved by Madame de Montesquiou ; who, coming to Paris to be present at her son's college-examination, expressed the tenderest wishes for my vvclfare, and lavished on me her motherly advice. Madame de Valence also, returning from the Avaters a few days before the signature of the contract, devoted them to MADAME LAFARGE. 81 the exercise of the same gentle and pious soli- citude to which she liad always accustomed me. Most deeply was I touched by these maternal attentions of my beloved grandmother's friend. E 5 82 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER YII. Amongst the purchases that engaged me most agreeably were the souvenirs that I determmed to leave with the guides, companions^ and friends of my youth. I requested, among my bridal gifts, a purse of fifty louis, on purpose to expend in these presents. How carefully I re- called to mind wishes expressed in ni}- hearing, and how great my pleasure to be enabled to realise them ! Living more in them than in myself, I wished to redouble my om'U joy in that of the objects of my affection. Antonine was ill, in an earlj' stage of pregnancy ; I sur- prised her by tlie gift of a set of baby-linen ; and these diminutive habiliments were so pretty, so graceful, that one could almost behold in fancy, smiling from under their laces and em- broideries, the dear little stranger whom we ex- pected, and v.hom we caressed already in our MADAME LAFARGE. 83 ■dreams. My aunt Garat had, in selecting for me, strongly admired a magnificent English veil ; on the nuptial morning she found it attached to her bonnet. I had the gold head of a walking-stick carved in the style of the middle ages for my uncle Garat. My aunt de Martens received a bracelet that she had admired; Hermine, the long-coveted box of colours, for which she was in future to sigh no more. To Madame de Montbreton T sent a Cabochon emerald ring, set in gold in the form of lion's clasped paws. To Madame de Leautaud, to gratify at once her known preference of the fashionable jewel -animals, and my own aversion for serpents, frogs, and other reptiles, imitated with repulsive fidelity, I sent a set of ornamental studs in the form of ladybirds, — a pretty insect, with purple spots on an orange ground, superstitiously regarded by the peasantry as a little prophet of good luck. I believe that my heart succeeded in its thousand afi^ectionate arrangements. i*.Iy nurses were not forgotten ; and I did my best to leave happy hearts in my beloved Villers-IIellon, which in future I could onlj^ revisit in memory. While occupied with the care of making these 84 MEMOIRS OF purchases luid arrangements, I seldom saw M. Lafarge ; and our rare meetings Mxre always spent in making him admire his own handsome presents, and in thanking him for fresh touch- ing proofs of aftection. Knowing that I loved the bath, he one morning brought me the plan of a bathing-room, to adjoin my apartment at Glandier, which was to be all ready for me on my arrival. Fearing that a journey by mail would affect my health, he made me a present of a charming britzka, in which to travel down post ; and every morning he sent me bouquets of flowers. To my family he was all attention and respect ; and even found kind words to address to my luu'sc Lalo, who, Avith tears in her eyes, pronounced him " as good and gener- ous as he was ugly." Sometimes, also, we conversed of our future life ; and I asked him for an account of the house, the servants, his own tastes, and those of his mother. lie in- formed me that my drawing-room, an exten- sive and well-lighted apartment, Avas furnished with red velvet, hung Mith a few pictures, and richly carpeted; that the dining-room opened on the terrace, and that the offices were also on the ground- floor ; that his favourite mare MADAME LAFARGE. 85 was black, and his horses all less remarkable for beauty than strength and vigour. He kept three or four men-servants; and it -was arranged that I should select a good personal attendant to go down with us. My choice was soon made ; for it had been settled years before, that upon my marriage, I should engage a young niece of Lalo's, clever and ready^ as devoted and faithful as her aunt, strongly attached to me, and who had only entered service to qualify herself at some future time to enter mine. While these confidential interviews with M. Lafarge were passing, my aunt received visitors in her other apartments, read, or wrote ; and the only third person present was my pretty cousin Gabrielle, who listened to me with the greatest attention, and watched us with the vigilance of a duenna. If occasionally her role wearied her, on the other hand she was proud of it, and in running to her mother's lap, to hide a yawn, would say, '^ Don't be alarmed, mamma, I am at my post. But it's O so dull ! It is not at all like M. de Sabatie and my elder sister, who used to kiss on the sly in spite of me." Gabrielle had notwithstanding a profound respect for her future cousin, who was pleased 86 MEMOIRS OF Avitli her prattle, and gave her sweetmeats. She generally sat upon his knees, and said aloud that " he was very fashionable." One dajr, when I was out shopping Mith \x\y aunt De Martens, while we were at a jeweller's selecting a setting for a set of turtpioises, she made me buy a broad dead-gold ring, as a pre- sent for my future husband. I had engraven inside it simply a date — that of our first meet- ing, with our names. On our return, we told my aunt Garat of our purchase and its destina- tion : she seemed uneasy. " My dear girl," said she, "you must not be romantic. I have to tell you a piece of news of no great import- ance, and which you must not suffer to disturb you. M. Lafarge is a Midower.'^ This was a thunderbolt. From my earliest • years I had had a horror of second marriages; I had persuaded myself, and had often said, that I could never bring myself to marrj'^ a widower ; and noAv, in three da}S my mar- riage-settlement was to be signed— in three short days I was to succeed a buried bride mouldering in iier shroud ! My first impulse was to break olf my engagement ; ni}' second, to burst into tears under the caresses and ex- MADAME LAFARGE. 87 hortations of my aunts. They could allow for surprise and vexation ; but regarded as madness the rooted despair that would have prompted me to rescind my given promise. I knew not what to say in my excuse ; my sorrow \vas not of the kind that can be ex- pressed in language, and it weighed on my heart like a presentiment. They had long been seated at tal)le, when I was compelled to make my appearance in tlie (lining-room with my red and swollen eyes. My antipathy had l)een disclosed to M. La- farge ; for I observed a few moments after, on looking up, that he was pale, silent, and over- M'hehncd. My aunt.De Martens placed me by her side ; and taking my hand in hers, — '^ Courage, my love," she whispered; ^' forgive our involuntary concealment, and be nobly for- getful: you see how your emotion agitates him." 1 softly called Gabriello, and pulling from my finger the ring I had bought, I desired her to present it to her cousin from me. From that moment, I rarely regained my wonted tran- quillity ; yet I never attempted to put oft" the marriage : my word was sacred. 88 MEMOIRS OF On Siiturduy, August the tenth, the notaries and the male members of the family met to settle the articles of the deed. Understanding nothing of the jargon of tlie law, I did not think myself bound to listen ; and seated apart in the embrasure of a window, I conversed on literature with M. de Chanbine, my old notarj', who was as idle as myself; his original mind having prompted him, some little time pre- viously, to shake off the trammels of wills and marriage-settlements. A moment's silence gave me notice that the bargain was concluded on both sides ; and Avhen the pen was placed in my hand to sign the deed in which two learned notaries had exhausted their ingenuity, the one to sell as dearly, and the other to buy as cheaply as pos- sible, a poor creature made in God's image, I smiled with contempt, and a blush of shame mounted to my forehead. Antonine still suffered from her pregnancy, and was lying in a long chair ; I seated my- self at her feet, and mc were conversing of the joys of maternity Avhich made its pains so sweet, when the news arrived, that, as it was MADAME LAFARGE. 89' impossible for us to be married at the mairie on MoiidaV;, we must repair thither immedi- ately. Without time to reflect, I was arrayed in the most charming- dress in my trousseau, placed in a carriage, and conducted to a little dark room, where a registrar, confined in an iron cage like those in the Jardin des Plantes, grinned us a gracious welcome. He opened his large re- gisters, in which the witnesses inscribed their names — not forgetting their titles. Then we were led through dark passages into a room hung with dirty drapery, surmounted by the Gallic cock, and there received by a big man with his throat enveloped in a tricoloured scarf, and holding in his hand an open code. So far I had observed the drama performing" around me ; I had mechanically watched in a glass the waving of the feathers that shaded my bonnet ; while occasional compliments, to which I was indifferent, were addressed to me : but when it became necessary to say " Yes'^ — when, shaking off my lethargy, I felt that I was giving away my life, — that the object of the contemptible legal farce was to imprison my thoughts and to fetter my affections and 90 MEMOIRS OF will, — tears, that to check would have choked me, found their way, and I sunk almost insen- sible into my sister's arms. Borne into the air, new impressions rapidly succeeding each other recalled me from this painful crisis. My aunt Garat, wishing to dis- tract my attention, determined that I should be left alone to enjoy my new state of independ- ence ; and saluting me as a wife, and free, jilaced me in a pretty little calash, and without permitting my sister or M. Lafarge to accom- pany me, told me to employ the rest of the day as I pleased. I drove first to the Flower-market ; thence to St. Roch, where I offered up a short prayer ; and finally to Madame de Valence, who had company, and was astonished to see me enter alone duly wrapped up in my cash- mere. We stepped aside, and I imparted to her that I had been married an hour before ; that my first moment of freedom I bestowed upon her; and that I had obtained a promise for my marriage to be kept secret two days, in order to remain still single to the persons who would come in the evening to sign my con- tract, — above all, to be still a maiden to him MADAME LAFARGE. 91 whom the hiw had ah'eady made my lord and master. I thanked Madame de Valence a thou- sand times for the magnificent scarf she had sent me in the morning ; and we had a long con- versation. Delighted with my secret wedding, and my flight to her, she made me participate in her gaiety ; and related with lively humour a dozen little incidents that had attended her own marriage. I returned to the bank in the evening by the Champs Ely sees. The weather was su- perb : crowds of elegantly-dressed promenaders thronged the avenues, and I determined to mix with them, for the first time in my life, alone and free, without being compelled to guide my steps by another's, and with no other protector than myself. Alighting with an elastic step, I was for a few moments pleased with my inde- pendence ; but when I felt myself elbowed and jostled by the crowd, and surrounded by strange faces, I became afraid, and re-entered my ca- lash, convinced that in this world woman needs a supporter, and can only live alone in deserts. M. Lafarge presented to me, on my return, a magnificent bouquet of orange-flowers and magnolia. He continued all the evening affec- 92 MEMOIRS OF tionately attentive, and kindly forgetful of his rights, scarcely pressing my hand openly. There came many visitors : inquiring glances and all good wishes were directed to me ; and for the last time I vras a gay, careless, and happy girl. I would not wear any of the ornaments proper to my dignity : a muslin dress, and a few na- tural forget-me-nots in my hair, composed mj' toilette ; and I danced till morning ^ith a light heart and buoyant spirits, smiling upon my friends and him for whom I was about to leave them. I was so fatigued, that on retiring to my room I could scarcely undress ; and slip- ping into bed in haste, I slept sweetly and pro- foundly till morning. All day on Sunday I was sad and painfully occupied preparing for my departure. Antonine and my cousins assisted me to pack with care the nick-nacks of my corbeille and trousseau ; but when our looks met, words of absence and regret rose to our lips, and scalding tears that we would have repressed forced their way, and the most trifling expressions were often broken by sobs. My nurse Lalo, who wished to see to every thing, in order that I might miss her as little MADAME LAFARGE. 93 iis possible, took snuff twenty times as she gave her instructions and advice to Clementine ; and complained of a cold in her head, to account for her red eyes. Ursula in expressing her good wishes left me to imagine her grief. My dear little room already wore an air of confusion and desertion ; it was encumbered with bandboxes, trunks, and packages ; a thick coat of dust had settled on the furniture and chimney-piece, like a mourning-veil, and my flowers lay withered in their overturned vases. I did not wish my maiden sanctuary to be seen in such a plight ; so when M. Lafarge knocked at my door, I entreated him in pity not to enter in the midst of the confusion of packing. Dis- regarding my words, " The time for ceremony is past,'^ said he, laugh.ing, and opening the door; '^and I enter in virtue of my marital prerogative." Seizing me rudely round the waist, he would have kissed me, but I repelled him impatiently, and made my escape into the drawhig-room — where, finding myself alone, I burst into tears. My feelings were too painful to be described ; and even now my heart bleeds at their remembrance. Antonine presently came to seek me, bring- 94 MEMOIRS OF ing M. Lafarge^ unhappy and repentant, to beg my pardon. I feebly spoke it; but my words did not come from my heart. There are in life wounds trifling in themselves, but tre- mendous in the consequences they foreshadow, and in the prophetic impression of which they are the tocsin, awakening in the soul echoes of misfortune which time alone has power to still. In the evening it was settled that we should dine at Very's, and go afterwards to the Cirque Olympique, in the Champs Elysees. On the agile amazons, whom I had so often admired, the well-trained steeds and dexterous horsemen, I gazed on this occasion unmoved ; but I was roused from my sorrowful abstrac- tion by a scene passing near us. It was a Sunday evening, and the theatre was crowded ; we Mith difficulty obtained good seats, and the gentlemen of our party were obliged to stand at some little distance. Immediately before us was a sullen-looking and brutal old soldier; and next him a venerable silver-haired old man, protected apparently by a younger one, whose noble features, elegant figure, and profoundly sorrowful look, attracted my attention and MADAME LAFARGE. 93 sympathy. Attempting to take out his snuff- box, the militaire accidentally knocked off his venerable neighbour's hat. '' Pray be careful, sir," said the latter, meekly, no apology having been tendered. ^' I have paid for ease and elbow-room — so stand clear," growled the old soldier. " You are an insolent ruffian," cried the young man. " And you a beardless coxcomb,'^ was the rejoinder. All eyes were fixed on the interlocutors, and silence was called for : the son led his father away, and both left the house. A short time afterwards, the young man returned ; and coldly approaching the individual who had insulted him : "You are a coward," whispered he, pinch- ing, his arm, ^' if you refuse to give me satis- faction." '^ You shall have it willingly ; but I give you fair warning that I never missed my man." " Hold your tongue . . . to-morrow morning at eight . . . this card will inform you my name and address." I turned pale at these words, which I dis- 03 MEMOIRS OF tinctly overheard ; the young man noticed it, thanked me by a look, and bowing, left the theatre. I was too strongly aftected to divert my thoughts from what had passed. " To-mor- row/' I reflected, "while I sliall be surrounded by troops of happy friends, a father will be mourning the loss of his son ; perhaps some - maiden, betrothed like me, will be lamenting broken-hearted the death of her lover." . . . Suddenly, as he pulled out his handkerchief, the brutal aggressor accidentally dropped the fatal card he had received from his adversary. I hastily stooped and picked it up unperceived ; but as I must have restored it if he had ob- .served mj'^ movement, I put it into my mouth, and felt happy when I had reduced it to a state of pulp. The thought of the misery I had doubtless averted restored a calmer tone to my mind ; and the rest of the eveniPig I en- joyed the consciousness of having performed a good action. Exhausted by this day of emotions, I slept soundly till my old nurse entered my room with her cup of coffee. It had been the affec- tionate creature's habit from my childhood to MADAME LAFARGE. 97 make me taste the first spoonful of her break- fast, on pretence that it never seemed good until tasted by me. We felt on this occasion that we were performing this ceremony for the last time ; that we must bid adieu to all our habits of childish but entire affection ; and not seeking to conceal our tears, we let them flow unrestrained, gazing at each other in speechless grief. My aunt Garat presently entered my room. Thinking only of my toilette, and with just pride, she set to work upon the wreath of qui- vering orange-flowers that was to deck my hair, without noticing my agitation : fearful only of having my rich laces torn or crumpled, she was unapprehensive of any weakness on my part at the moment of departure. She had, in her idea, insured my future independence and comfort by this fortunate marriage, and was scarcely able to contain her joy. Antonine and my aunt De Martens arrived, — the one weeping, the other armed with gentle and con- solatory advice : both contributed to soothe me. My toilette completed, I knelt before my aunt De Martens ; and having entwined the orange-flowers in my hair, and attached my VOL II. F 98 MEMOIRS OF white bridal-veil, she pronounced over me a solemn blessing, in my parents' names, and in those of all my absent and departed relatives. M. Lafarge entered; he appeared alTected at witnesshig my emotion, and kneeling before me, kissed my hands over and over again. Reconciled by these tokens of solicitude, I conjured him to be always confiding and in- dulgent; never to cease, above all, to love me, — remembering that I was an orphan and in need of all his tenderness, and that I should have no one but him to look to for affection. Kissing my forehead, he promised all; and then led me to the drawing-room, where we were awaited by my assembled friends. My tears soon ceased to flow, beneath the affected, in- different, and scrutinising looks that accompa- nied the storm of compliments and congratula- tions by A^ hich I was assailed. We "were mar- ried at the church of the Petits Peres, after a very short service and a very dry homily. Un- willing to expose to the world the thoughts that agitated my heart, I hid my prayers and tears beneath my veil ; and upon my return was pronoimced a graceful and M'ell-behaved bride. MADAME LAFARGE. 90 After a long" and animated breakfast^ my aunts 'took me to the drawing-room^ and clos- ing the doors, began to initiate me into the fearful mysteries of my new duties. They said things that made me so blush and tremble, that to stop their disclosures I Avas tempted to tell them a fib, in declaring that I knew all they could tell me perfectly well. However, as I had only speculated on the nature of these important mysteries, I retained my illusive theory, which was innocently stupid, and my terrors, Avhich were overpowering j fortifying my resolution to travel night and day without stopping until I reached Glandier. My aunt^s exhortation over, my bridesmaids entered to disrobe me ; and,, having removed the white wreath from my head-dress, I dis- tributed its white flowers among my unwedded cousins, male and female, who were come to bless my marriage by their presence, prayers, and good wishes. One bud of my virgin wreath I secretly reserved for myself; and, depositing it in a little heart-shaped locket, a present from my mother, which I constantly wore, I kept it for a souvenir and a talisman. This unspoken impulse of my heart was blessed. f2 100 MEMOIRS OF Every other flower of my happy chiklhoocl and youth has withered^ or been ruthlessly torn up and scattered : this one alone has escaped ravage, and remains still fi*esh and unfaded under the sanctified eegis of my adored patron- saint. MADAME LAFARGE. lOi CHAPTER VI I r. M. Lafarge having some business to settle, and I arranL^ements to make, post-horses were ordered for four o'clock. The last minutes were sorrow ful and fleeting ; and when the pos- tilion's whip and the chimes of the Petits Peres gave the signal for departure, I almost fainted under my friends' last adieu. Meanwhile M. Lafarge came out ; and the prolonged tor- tures of parting made us all ill. After two hours of this martyrdom of suspense, my shaken nerves so overcame me, that I was borne to Madame de Martens' bed, and the departure deferred till the following day. My aunt Garat, to soften the sadness of separation, v.-ent to the Opera to hoar Diipre; my aunt De Martens and Antonine attempted to calm me ; and my brother-in-law, who was informed confidentially that I was dying with 102 MEMOIRS OF fear, undertook to persuade M. Lafarge on this occasion to play the quiet part of sick- nurse. All passed as we wished ; my husband kissed me paternally on the forehead, and I enjoyed at last a few hours of repose. At early dawn the next morning the horses' bells gave the signal of departure : it became necessarj- to tear myself from the home of my friends. After an abundance of tears and em- braces, the last hand-shaking over, I passed through Paris so profoundly lost in my sorrow, that I did not bestow on it a last look. Soon, however, my tears were dried by the fresh morning breeze, which blew aside my veil, and shook the dust from the roadside elms. The birds carolled their matins ; the pale east became purple, and the sun presently rising in golden majesty, all nature seemed to leap with joy at receiving the first kiss of her god. I looked at first mechanically on the rich and cultivated landscape that was passing be- fore my eyes : then listened unreflectingly to the song with which the postilion accompanied the cracking of his whip ; and amused myself by watching the gallant looks he turned to MADAME LAFARGE. 103 Clementine, and his questions respecting her mistress, ^' who seemed over-afflicted for a bride." His words reminded me that I was married, and that my sorrow was unbecoming. Turning to M. Lafarge, I saw he M'as asleep, and I abandoned myself to reflection. Hitherto my life had been isolated in the midst of inti- mate but subordinate affections ; now it was to become the hope and joy of another life. I was in future to be well beloved : the feeling of uselessness that had weighed so heavily on my past, w^as to give place to a sentiment of duty ; and my every word and action were to honour and please an excellent man who had bestowed on me his name. M. Lafarge seemed to adore me : I had not yet learned to love him, but was [told that I soon should ; and love in an interested match being only a tender esteem, I already felt in my heart all that such a sentiment could inspire. While reason thus whispered, imagination pictured to me the delicate and impassioned words that were to soothe me all this first day; — the first kiss on my forehead, the second, and then the third, which I might perhaps return ; then the arm tenderly supporting my feeble frame, and a 104 MEMOIRS OF whispered '^ I love you;" to be succeeded^ when the first star appeared, " Dearest, do you love me r" A jolt awakened M. Lafarge; stretchmg his arms Mith a prolonged and sonorous yawn, he kissed me on both cheeks, and said, ^' Comey my dear, let us breakfast/' The carriage contained a cold fowl ; seizing this by the two wings, M. Lafarge divided it, and offered me half: slightly disgusted, I de- clined the food. Thinking I was ill, he be- came anxious and very attentive ; he poured out a glass of Bourdeaux to restore me, and upon my declining that also, drank the whole bottle himself, " for himself and for me, who now made but one." The smell of the provisions overpowered me^ and I took Clementine's seat on the box. I amused myself by paying the postilions, making them talk by promising drink ; and I tried above all to make light of the disagreeable realities the breakfast had awakened — soothing myself with the reflection that the meal was very rarely made in that primitive manner. Towards noon I re-entered the carriage ; and sought to converse on literary topics, the- MADAME LAFARGE. 105 atricals, my beloved Villers-Hellon, and its fine forest. My words on this subject seemed to interest M. Lafarge; but my ignorance of the science of felling, and the price of timber and charcoal, soon silenced him ; and pulling out his pocket-book, he became absorbed in cal- culations, and appeared not over pleased with his employment. I tried to sleep ; but the burning sun and piles of resplendent clouds accumulating in the east, and extending over us their dazzling man- tle, induced a headache which rendered sleep impossible. Towards five, we reached Orleans. I could scarcely support myself, and asked for a bath, in hopes of obtaining a little refresh- ment and repose. I had scarcely entered the room, when the door was violently shaken. ^' Madame is bathing,'^ said Clementine. " I know it. Open the door." '^ Sir, the bathing-room is open, and it is impossible for Madame to receive you.'^ " Madame is my wife ; and to the devil with all ceremony." '' Pray do not speak so loud," I exclaimed, f5 106 MEMOIRS OF some\yhat petulantly. " Wait ten minutes, and I shall be dressed." " It is precisely because you are undressed that I want to come in now. Do you take me for a fool, or think that I am to be driven off for ever by your d d Parisian modesty?" Clementine trembled violently, but continued to say firmly, "^ Surely Monsieur will be polite the first day !" '^ Marie, I command you instantly to open the door, or I will break it open." '^ Break it open, sir, if you please; but it will not be opened by me. Strength is power- less over my will : know that once for all.'' After terrifying me by a storm of obscene imprecations that I should shudder to write, my husband departed in furious mood. I sunk insensible on the floor of the bath ; my affec- tionate Clementine in alarm kissed my hand a thousand times to console me, and when I be- came calmer, left me in tears to seek M. La- farge. In vaui she attempted to persuade him of his error ; but on her telling him that I was ill, and that a repetition of scenes of the kind would kill me, ^' So be it," he said ; " I say no MADAME LAFARGE. 107 more for the present, but I will bring her to reason when we arrive at Glandier." I met M. Lafarge without a word. He. asked me at first whether my "airs" were over ; and seeing that I was unwell, he em- braced me, and became kind and attentive as before. I was unable to eat at dinner j and having taken a cup of tea, I spent an hour in a balcony, feeling the horrors of the abyss yawning at my feet, but dreading the thoughts of coolly measuring its depth. The motion of the carriage, the beauty of the sky sprinkled with countless stars, the stillness and balmy breath of the summer-night, made me almost insensible to the bitterness of my reflections. I attributed to passion M. Lafarge's violence. His love was very different from that of which I had dreamed : I was ter- rified at the thought of it, but hopeful of con- quering it by its own violence, and, in time, of tempering a passion to which I had given birth ; and when I heard him snoring in the vehicle, I was consoled and almost without anger. We arrived in the morning at Chateauroux, where AI. Pontier, the special receiver of La 108 MEMOIRS OF Chatre, awaited us. He was an uncle, and the first of my new family whom I had seen. I wished to please him, and to appear amiable and affectionate. I therefore chased the clouds- which yet saddened my memory, by the power of my will and by excitement. M. Pontier was about fifty years old ; he had a frank and open countenance, his words were warm and hearty. He seemed delighted to see me, made his nephew a thousand compliments respecting me, and called me his child in so kind a voice, that I felt myself perfectly ready to love him. His wife was to accom- pany us to Glandier. She was no longer young, and was commejicing that epoch of life Avhen, without losing the pretension to youth, we assume the follies of another age : her s^ji- rit was caustic, overbearing, and subtle } yet whilst she remembered the honey of the lip,, she unfortunately forgot to govern her eyes. No one suffered from e7i7nd near her, but it was at the expense of the heart the intellect was excited; and after a short walk arm-in-arm with M. Pontier, I understood he abandoned his wife to us with very little regret. They gave us an excellent breakfast ; and MADAME LAFARGE. 1C9 then it was necessary to think of departure. I had firstj however, a few moments of unex- pected amusement. Having entered, I know not why, my new aunt's chamber, I found her reading the journal, whilst her husband was putting her hair in a swarm of papers. '^ Follow my example," she said to me se- riously ; ^^ there is no greater convenience than making of one's husband a lady's maid : M. Pontier dresses hair divinely, laces me astonish- ingly Avell, and no one knows better than he does how to give grace to a bow, to make one's waist expressive, or arrange the folds of a shawl." At that instant the model-husband wished to place upon her neck a collerette, which was a little rumpled. Madame Pontier, observing the false pleats in it, said bitterly to M. Pontier, that " since the morning he might have found plenty of time to have touched it with the irons, and that, moreover, it was not the first time she had perceived his indifference. That the death of her father had left her in the depths of misery; for nothing remained that she could love, and that loved her, except a dog." This favourite dog was a little greyhound, M'hich she 110 MEMOIRS OF installed along with us in the carriage. The animal took me treacherously into her friend- shipj and as I understood her to be my cousin in the heart of Madame Pontier, I generously sacrificed myself to the relationship, and be- came the little brute's couch. ^Madame Pontier talked to me a great deal about literature ; of the bad taste of Victor Hugo, in not worshipping Racine ; of the madness of Alexandre Dumas ; of the sublime grandeur of the poets of the empire ; but more especially of T\Iadame Sand's immorality, who wrote like a cook, and thought like a fish- ivoman. My dear aunt assured me that no decent saloon in La Chatre would receive that ivoman ; that respectable females were ignorant even of her name ; and that she herself had quarrelled with a sub-prefect (I believe), who wished to corrupt M. Pontier by lending him an infamous work called Lelia. I had the hardihood to own having read Indiana, and dared to express my admiration for the magic and power of the beautiful prose, splendid and elegant as a diamond hidden among rose- leaves. She lifted her eyes to heaven, and astonished MADAME LAFARGE. Ill at SO much perversity in one so young, relieved her mind at the expense of her family, whom she charitably made me acquainted with, by branding all her principal relatives with some mortal sinj and heaping peccadilloes without number on cousins, nei)hews, second cousins, third cousins, &c. &c. &c. M. Lafarge being on the box, my aunt en- deavoured to gain my confidence. After hav- ing rapped at the door of my vanity with a thousand exaggerated compliments, she told me I must have a great deal of courage to quit Paris ; that I should soon be the slave of ennui ; and that it was a moral murder to bury me at Glandier in company with a husband as coarse as his iron, and a mother-in-law who possessed neither ideas nor education. I was annoyed by the part of victim which she would have had me sustain. I assured her I had a taste for solitude ; that I esteemed my husband deeply ; and that it would be a part of my pride to become agreeable and necessary to him. I told her also, that I hoped, nay, was even certain, of returning to the bosom of my friends, to whom both the 112 MEMOIRS OF promise and the business of M. Lafarge would yearly restore me. We traversed a cultivated and varied coimtry. I expressed to Madame Pontier my admiration for tlie beauties of the southern part of France, ■which to me would be novel, and spoke to her gaily of the mountains, vallej'S, and ruins over which I was about to establish my empire. When night brought M. Lafarge into the carriage, his aunt jested with him on the wan- dering commencement of his honeymoon. He wished to answer like a conqueror; but having the bad taste to plead the cause of his love with coarse and noisy kisses, I had my skin rubbed off by that public mark of jjos- session, and repidsed him at first gently, and afterwards with impatience. Madame Pontier laughed at my prudery, so removed from the primitive manners of those I was about to mix with ; and told me that one of the pleasantest customs of Limou- sin Mas to invade the nuptial-chamber on the marriage night, in order to carry to the newly married pair a cup of spiced wine, of which they must partake in bed. The wit of the men MADAME LAFARGE. 113 most esteemed in society displays itself here by the deeper or brighter crimson their jests can bring to the brow of the youthful spouse, by the amount of stifled laughter they can call from the lips of other women, anxious to see the modesty of the bride profaned, whom they envied perhaps in the morning. '^' Oh, you will not escape, my lovely niece ; and I constitute myself the champion of that merry tradition of olden time,^^ said Madame Pontier, in conclusion. '' I conjure you not to do this, Madame ; I cannot support so bitter a jest; and never will I pardon a husband who suifers me to be soiled by that humiliating and sinful mirth." I concealed my face in my hands, and pre- tended a desire for sleep, to relieve myself from my sad impressions. I felt myself tremble at the recital of such brutal customs. The Or- leans scene passed before my affrighted imagi- nation — I more than feared, 1 was disgusted. I looked towards the heavens, whose lovely stars appeared to protect me ; and counted the hours which yet separated me from a new night, which was, alas, starless to me. 114 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER IX. We were surprised at Massere by a fearful storm. To the thunder which rolled deafening over our heads succeeded a thick and con- tinuous rain. Grey clouds coursed along the heavens^ and seemed to rest their vapoury masses heavily upon the earth. Shut up in our carriage, we only saw the wliite thread of the route winding sadly before us, the poor pant- ing horses and the jacketed postilion, who urged the jaded animals to face the rage of the tempest with a hoarse and savage cry. At eight in the morning they pointed me out some black buildings at Uzerche, which formed the faubourg of Ste. Eulalie. Then we tra- versed a road against the side of which were dashed the waves of the Vezere ; and wc de- scended at a wretched inn, for the sake of avoiding a meeting with a part of the family with which 1 was in duty bound to be em- MADAME LAFARGE. 115 broiled, and who dwelt in the onlj- passable house in the town. Madame Pontier left me for the purpose of making a few visits ; and M. Lafarge informed me that the carriage being broken, we must remain here some hours. M. Buffiere, my brother-in-law, who waited for us, gave me two loud kisses of wel- come. A little cousin of sixteen also came to inscribe his relationship upon my cheeks. At last they left me alone, every one being more inclined to make a wonder of my carriage, than to give me a gracious reception. I was ill and fatigued — I wished to lie down : a fetid exhala- tion drove me from the alcove in which I had sought repose. I then placed a chair in the middle of the chamber, to remove myself as much as possible from the foul walls and fur- niture surrounding me, while Clementine went to order me a cup of tea. After waiting an hour, I was attended to. They possessed no tea-pot ; a huge water-jug, closed by a paper cover, had ingeniously re- placed it 5 while a few leaves of Swiss herb-tea floating in the ocean that filled the jug-ular tea-pot, usurped the name and functions of the Chinese shrub, itself unkno^vn to the in- ] 16 MEMOIRS OF habitants of Linioui^in. I opened my window; the rain had ceased, but the fog still enveloped nature and heaven. Suddenly the bells began, lively, joyous, and animated. Every house opened to allow the good souls to pass, faithful to their call. It was the August feast of our ady, my holy patroness. I covered myself in my mantilla, and wished to go forth, that I might carry my grief to the foot of her altar. *^That is impossible,^' said M. Lafarge, whom I had sent for to inform of my inten- tion ; ^^ you will be the butt of every look, the object of indecent jests and raillery." *^ What matters that ? I am above such ridi- culous considerations." " I tell you, you must not go ; I do not wish you to be seen by my family; they are jealous of my marriage. Curiosity must bring them to you ; and they must only see you dressed in your best." " You flatter my poor pei'son. Well, since you insisty I will not go to mass. ^' Do not pout, puss. It is because I love you, that I M'ish you to dazzle them with your jewels, your shawls, &c. &c.'' I remained alone; Clementine came sadly MADAME LAFARGE. 11/ jiear me^ saying, with a broken voice, as she took my hand, " I Mdsh you a pleasant /e/e." I did not possess sufficient strength to reply to the good girl ; and, resting my head on my hands, burst into tears. How much bitter- ness was there in the lovely and joyous memo- ries that feie of the virgin awoke within me ! In other days, I had opened my eyes under the kisses and presents of all my family. I wore a pure white dress, the li\^ery of the Virgin ; and %vith the flowers given me by my grandfather, I went to our little church trusting and happy. On coming out from mass, the peasants brought me good wishes and flowers ; all the women embraced me ; and I embraced all the little children. Then the men went to prolong their good wishes over some bottles of good wine; and the young girls, forgetting the harvest labour, ran under the shadowy lindens that they might dance in my honour. The evening re-united a few friends. I was the queen of the day : the flowers seemed to blow for me alone. My name, inscribed on the cakes, was repeated joyously in the saloon and in the servants' offices ; and I lay down at night, fatigued with dancing, with kindness, and with pleasure. 118 MEMOIRS OF Alas ! to-day life opened anew. I was alone, isolated^ without prayers, kindness, or friends. " My God,^' I cried, " have pity on me !" It was nearly eleven when the carriage was in a condition to start from Uzerche. I was in haste to leave the town, and chase my dark thoughts away with the sight of my pretty little castle; to find, in short, a family which would forget envy in kindness and in lo^-e. We stopped one hour at Vigeois with a cousin of M. Lafarge. I was so desirous to arrive at my oimi home, tliat I allowed him to embrace me, and took some fruit mechanically, without being yet aroused from my mournful impres- sions. They brought some saddled horses to the door. I was weary and bruised, and wished to finish the journey in the carriage, although they cried out at the imprudence, and that it was impossible to cross in a chaise the savage country which separated us from Glandier. Not a ray of sun had smiled from behind the clouds since the morning storm. The trees still drooped with wet ; and the ploughed-up roads, which reduced to a walk the pace of the horses, threatened us with continual and almost inevitable danger. After three hours of this MADAME LAFARGE. ] 19 dolorous travelling, we descended into a hol- low. They shewed me some smoky roofs, which emerged from the fog, and informed me that they belonged to the buildings of the forge ; and at the end of a little avenue of pop- lars the carriage stopped. I leapt from the cawiage into the arms of two women. I walked up a long, dark, damp, and cold path. I mounted a little dirty stone staircase, clammy with the drops of rain that escaped from a broken roof. I then entered a large chamber, called the drawing-room, and fell in a chair, gazing wildly round me. My mother-in-law had taken one of my hands, and examined me Avith a censorious gaze. Madame Buffiere, a little red, fresh-looking woman, in perpetual motion, loaded me with caresses and questions, and wished to draw me from the bitter stupefaction which she mistook for timi- dity. M. Lafarge came to seek us : he tried to seat me on his knees ; and as I repulsed him with a positive refusal, he said aloud, laughing, that I only knew how to recline in a tete-a-tete. " Mamma," he added, " you do not know how she loves me, that little canne. Come, ni)- duck, own that you are devilishly fond of me." 120 MEMOIRS OF At the same time^ to suit the action to the word, he clasped my waist, pinched my nose, and embraced me. My pride revolted at these words and actions, and I felt myself bursting with indignation as I listened to the endearing names, which classi- fied me so politely withoso many animals. No longer able to support this torture, I pretended excessive fatigue, letters to write, and retired to my chamber, where I locked myself in with Clementine. My chamber, as large as the drawing-room, was wholly unfurnished : two beds, four chairs, and one table, hermit-like, occupied its vast solitude. I asked for an inkstand; they brought me a broken sweetmeat-jar, in which a morsel of cotton was swimming in grey v.ater, an old pen, and paper blue as the sky. Clementine wished to undress me — it was impossible for me to rest in my bed. I made her lie down near me — for it appeared to me that, even sleeping, that good creature would be my safe- guard, — and I attempted to write : I could not command an idea — I was crushed by a terrible deceit ! I recoiled at the idea of so soon caus- ing so much sorrow to my friends — my tender- MADAME LAFARGE. 121 ness refused to tell them half my anguish — my pride so soon to play the part of victim. A hundred leagues separated us. Long days must pass ere I could bring them to my side. What would become of me during these long days ? What should I do ? My God ! what shoidd I do ? The grey colour of the heavens, darkening as night approached, added to the indignation which filled me at the deceit I suffered from — the greater and more repugnant fear of the nocturnal tete-a-tete, which I dreaded so much, and could no longer shun. I have never known hatred ; but when my heart is wounded, I am powerless to master my indignation. At that moment I should have sickened if M. Lafarge had kissed my hand — in his arms I should have perished. Suddenly my part was taken — I resolved to leave him — to fly to the end of the world ; but especially not to pass the night within these dismal walls. That firm resolve rendered me a little calmer ; but a means of executing it must yet be found. My imagination came to my aid : I resolved to obtain from M. Lafarge himself an order to depart — to wound his ^^ride^ VOL. II. G 122 MEMOIRS OF his jealousy, and his honour ; to rentier a re- conciliation impossible — to tell him that I did not love him ; to tell him that I loved another, and that, violating my recent oaths, I had seen his rival at Orleans and at Uzerche. In short, to tell him that all my married thoughts had beeji adulterous ! Never could I have dared use that frightful word — never could I have repeated aloud so many humiliating lies ; but the paper blushed not, and I trusted it, in all the bitterness of my heart, with the care of my deliverance. Having written several pages, I wished to re- peruse my letter : its energy appalled me, but I saw that I was saved. After reading it, they might kill me, but it was impossible to retain me, or to pardon. They came to call me. I placed the letter in the folds of my girdle. I was calm, because my will was strong ; and I had the invincible courage of the warrior who has set fire to his vessels that he may hope alone for victory or death. All the hihabitants of Glandier were present in the dining-room — the dinner was long : the evening even longer. The affectionate manner cf Madame Lafarge, and the attentive care of I MADAME LAFARGE. 123 Madame Euffiere^ added to my sufferings. I tried to be amiable. I would have shewn myself sensible of their kindness, during the last moments of our companionship. I was troubled and ashamed to return upon them so soon all the ill they had made me suffer during the three last days. Every time that I felt myself grow pale or weak — every time that the monotonous tone of the clock told me the dreaded hour drew nearer, I pressed the letter to my breast, and as I listened to the crackling of the paper, I seemed to hear it murmur, " I watch : fear nothing." Ten struck. M. Lafarge inteiTupted a business-conversation which had occupied all his attention for some hours, a conversation inpatois, carried on more especially with his brother-in-law, but in which others of the family occasionally joined. I did not attempt to comprehend their strange idiom, but I could not avoid a profound feeling of sadness in listening to a tongue which was not that of the country. '^ Come, let us to rest, my wife," said M. Lafarge, drawing me by the ^aist along with him. g2 124 MEMOIRS OF " Give me, I conjure you, a few minutes to mj'self in my chamber," I answered. '' Another whim !" he replied; ^' but I yield to it, and for the last time.'' "1 entered my chamber, summoned Cle- mentine, and giving her the letter, begged her immediately to give it to M. Lafarge. At her return I drew the bolt, and cast myself sobbing in her arms. The good girl, dreadfully frightened, ad- dressed a thousand questions to me ; and I had scarcely strength to explain to her my despair, the letter I had written, and my resolution to leave the same evening. Clementine was terrified by this confidence, and supplicated me to endure all for a few days ; to send for my family, and not expose myself to be killed by my husband in a moment of wrath. They struck loudly on the door : I refused to open it; and, kneeling by my bed, I wept. A more energetic summons restored my self- possession. I told Clementine to leave me alone — to open the door ; and retired into the embrasure of a window which ^vas open. M. MADAME LAFARGE. 125 Lafarge entered in a fearful state. He ad- dressed to me the most outrageous reproaches ; told me that I should not leave him ; that he needed a Avife ; that he was not rich enough to purchase a mistress ; that^ lawfully his, I should be his in fact. He wished to approadi and seize me. I told him coldly that if he touched me I would leap from the window; that I recognised in him the power to kill, but not to pollute me. On seeing my paleness and energetic de- spair, he recoiled, and called his mother and sister, who were in the neighbouring chamber. They surrounded me, weeping; prayed me to pity their poor Charles, for the sake of their honour and their happiness, which I was about to destroy. M. Lafarge also cast himself at my knees ; and my courage, firm enough to contend with injuries, softened into tears at the voice of their sorrow and their prayers. I answered, that I could easily pardon the odious lie of which I had been the victim — that without regret I abandoned all my fortune — - that I knew how to keep the name I had taken pure and honourable, — but that I should never possess the courage to remain among them; 126 MEMOIRS OF that I wished to fly, and^ if they detained me, I should know how to die. ^ly sister-in-law took me in her arms, and loaded me with caresses and questions. I re- lated to her a few words from the scene at Orleans, and of all which had chilled me : I allowed her to imagine how much I dreaded the first evening of my arrival, and what ter- rors I had felt. She drew her brother into a corner of the chamber, and spoke warmly with him. Madame Lafarge came in turn to attempt to calm me : she promised to love me, assured me that she was proud of me, and that she would use the most maternal and affectionate attention to her daughter Marie. She entreated me to pardon her son, who, loving me to distraction, had deceived me to avoid the despair of losing me : lastly, to con- sole me, she tried other means ; she assured me that the country, which a^jpeared so sadly gloomy under the wet torrents of the storm, was rich, gay, and animated, on a fine day. She told me also that I should be the absolute mistress, and alter my new dwelling at will, according to my tastes and my habits. M. Lafarge returned near us now with his MADAME LAFARGE. 12/ sister. He was already more calm ; he took my hand and kissed it, weeping. I abandoned it to him, and after some minutes' silence, begged him to forget the injury I had done him — to take my fortune, but still, beyond all, to allow me to leave him. He explained to me that I could not dispose of my dowry with- out the consent of my family ; Jmplored me to wait for two or three days ; and promised me not to attempt detaining me, if he failed to ob- tain his pardon, to prove to me his love, and to make me happy. I could not resist so many prayers and tears, and consented to remain some days with him as a sister. M. Lafarge assured me my wishes should be commands to him ; that my kindness made him but too happy : while Mdme. Buffiere said, laughingly, " Be tranquil, my little sister : if he is not modest, we will protect you. Would you like that I should sleep in your room ?" I thanked Madame Buffiere, and made them put Clementine's bed in my chamber. This violent and stormy scene had so grievously disturbed me that I felt exceedingly unwell. I remained more than an hour without conscious- ness, and suffered until morning the most pain- 128 MEMOIRS OF ful nervous spasms. My new family \vould not quit me : they feared I had taken poison ; but at length, on day breaking, seeing I was suffer- ing from fatigue alone, they left me to myself, and I slept heavily until the dazzling rays of an August sun opened my eyes to life — late enough in the morning. When I arose, they told me M. Lafarge was too ill to quit his chamber. I sent Clementine to inquire after him ; then I dressed myself, and was led down to breakfast. The company of the preceding evening was increased by the addition of a friend of the family — an old white- haired advocate, whose manners were gallant and attentive ; his language was slow, refined, and pure. Sad and pre-occupied, I answered coldly enough to his politeness, until, after a short walk — during which his conversation was kind, various, and displayed an evident desire of pleas- ing me, — I forgot myself a little, and became animated enough to answer him. I found in M. de Chauveron mind and good sense, veiled, however, under forms so suffi- ciently stamped with the majesty of the bar as to become rather absurd. Did he speak of music, it was with an imposing solemnity; if MADAME LAFARGE. 129 he perpetrated a compliment^ it was clone with an austere gravity worthy a funei'al oration. To sum up all, he wished you good morning eloquently, and asked for a glass of water with the most seductive persuasion. After his de- parture, I was presented to M. Pontier, a phy- sician of Uzerche, and uncle to M. Lafarge. He was a man of about forty, Avith a noble and intelligent countenance, Avhose burning and passionate glance seemed excited and unhappy under the mantle of snowy hair which shaded his brow. Scarcely had he pressed my hand, and ere we had yet exchanged words, I knew that he was a friend, and my heart had adopted him. He made me visit the ruins ; talked to me like a poet of their origin, their history, and their legends; drew me a touching picture of the love awaiting me in my new family ; and spoke to me much of the happiness which I perhaps might not enjoy, but which I was destined to diffuse around me. I unhesitat- ingly interrogated M. Pontier as to the heart and character of his neplievv. He answered me with perfect candour, that M. Lafarge Avas uncultivated, and rude as his native hills ; that all his studies had been directed Avith vicAvs of G 5 130 MEMOIRS OF utility and to labour ; that he had no talents, but much good sense ; and that it would be most easy to overcome by the heart his posi- tive and material habits. M. Pontier assured me that M. Lafarge already loved me beyond every thing, and that nothing would be im- possible to him which might enable him to gain my affection. Some of the sadnesses of my soul had involuntarily risen to my lips. M. Pontier knew how to quell my fears. He pointed out to me my future life, surrounded by its duties, with his energy, his imagination, mournful, yet pleasmg, until, in returning to the house, I promised him my friendship, and felt myself strengthened by the support, pro- tection, and tenderness which he had pledged to me, and which I had accepted. After having felt his patient's pulse, M. Pontier prescribed to him my presence as a calming potion, and conducted me to his room. M. Lafarge shelved himself so grateful for my visit, that I felt recompensed for the effort it had required. He asked me if I had been from the house, and had yet seen the forge. I told him that I had admired the ruins, and several beautiful MADAME LAFARGE. 131 places near them; hut that I deferred visiting the foundry until his convalescence should en- able him to give all the explanation indispens- able to my ignorance. During the remainder of the day I was calm, and almost forgot the last evening's frightful despair. All around me seemed to possess an oblivious charm. A smile on my lips car- ried joy to every eye; and without attempting to account for it, I felt myself happy in being the centre in which originated those various ex- pressions of hope and affection. As she un- dressed me, Clementine told me that M. La- farge had called her into his chamber, to tell her that he could not exist without me ; that he wished to keep me by surrounding me with care and kindness; and that he applied to her to learn my tastes and my habits. After a long conversation, he charged her to tell me that I v/as mistress there, and might model the house as I chose — nay, even build another if this could not be made sufficiently elegant, — and that the necessary workmen waited for my orders but to obey them. M. Lafarge had learned from Clementine that the most simple and necessary articles of the toilette were wanting in my 132 MEMOIRS OF apartment j he despatched an express to Uzerche, to bring them for me: he also told me that he would immediately send to Paris, and request my aunt Garat to secure me a footman, in order that I should not suffer from the lan- guage and mal-address of the servants of the country. MADAME LAFARGE. 133 CHAPTER X. When I rose on the morrow, the heavens were so blue, and the August breezes so warmly fra- grant, that I felt less sad, and longed to spring out bareheaded under the azure canopy, that I might make acquaintance with the rustic na- ture surrounding me. M. Lafarge, too, was quite recovered ; he led me to a small boat, which he unmoored, and after a thousand windings in the midst of lovely meadows, the little stream led us to the foot of the forge. The workmen, warned to expect our visit, re- ceived us with a large bouquet of wild-flowers, and a welcome as cordial, noisy, and expressive as their idiomatic patois ; — they appeared well satisfied with their new mistress, and repeated, with many congratulations, that they found me proud and pleasant — that is to say, amiable and pretty. 134 MEMOIRS OF I wished to see and understand everj- thing, M. Lafarge, enchanted, gave me nianj- interest- ing details respecting the machines, the melt- ing, the casting, and the forging of the iron. His language, embarrassed and incorrect in the drawing-room, became lively, animated, and engaging, in his little sombre kingdom. He now appeared to me well-instructed, and enthusiastic in his pursuit — not confining him- self to the narrow boundaries of routine, but understanding the necessities and pleasures of improvement and progress. It w'as the hour of dinner in the forge ; an immense copper, which was boiling on some heated scoria, was borne into the middle of the room, and one of the youngest workmen, who gaily brandished over his head a huge ladle, attribute of his function, poured out a foaming pottage of lard and vegetables into plates filled with slices of black bread. I begged M. Lafarge to add a few bottles of wine and some fruit to that coarse and frugal repast, and was curious enough to taste some of this Spartan broth, Avhich I found excellent, greatly to the delight of these honest men, who laughed loudly at the compliments I paid their MADAME LAFARGE. 135 cook. I then got them to fill my glass at the spring which murmured near, and drinking to their health as they drank to mine, I promised them, if I was destined to remain among their mountains, to care for and love them well. The enthusiasm of these good iron-founders knew no bounds ; they emptied their bottles with hurras, placed a coronet of leaves round my bonnet, and escorted me in triumph as far as the house. In the court I found the peasants, who had fixed a may-tree there, covered with garlands of flowers and streamers of the national colours. They joined the workmen in congratulating me, and fired a volley from their fowling-pieces, which woke every echo in the ruins ; after which they danced a bourree around their tree. I was much amused with the grotesque and heavy movements of that Limousine dance, as well as with the singular figure of the musician, resting against a tree, and blowing with all his might in a primitive bagpipe ; and I forgot for a while what I had suifered, in the contact of this lively and dancing gaiety which surrounded me. I entered the drawing-room as night came on ; and the sight of this sad and vast apartment, which would have chilled the least susceptible 136 MEMOIRS OF woxiiaiij as I cast my eyes round it, restored all my terrors. There was a living vulgarity in it, which threatened to infect your whole person and all your thoughts. The walls were covered with a paper whose sickly colour was meant not to rejoice the eye, but to conceal more easily the damages and injuries of time. An alcove, ornamented with drapery of red calico bordered with yellow cotton-fringe, faced two windows similarly furnished; then there was a chest of drawers of walnut-tree wood, on the top of which was a piece of carpeting, proud enough of the new dignity that had lifted it from the earth, and representing the touching history of two doves swooning in ecstasy, and bound together by a love-knot azure as heaven. The chimney-piece was ornamented with five mon- strous oranges; two beautiful candles, Avhose unpolluted wicks attested their virgin freedom from use ; and a night-lamp, whereon Adam andEve embraced fraternally — sinless, but, alas ! leafless too. To these we must add the loves of a fair Greek and fierce Albanian — a specimen of the fine arts much admired by the connois- seurs of the neighbourhood ; and two couches in red Utrecht velvet, with some straw-bot- MADAME LAFARGE. 137 tomecl chairs Avhicli ran round the walls. There were also two doors of wood, and two others glazed. M. Lafarge read my feelings in my face, and immediately spoke of improvements, plans, and projects. At first I remained inattentive and silent 5 then^ thinking that to listen would bind me to nothing, and wishing to balance the pleasant day he had given me by a little good behaviour, I allowed him to go on cre- ating around me. I advised him to turn the saloon itself into a bedchamber, with closets for the bath and the toilette ; to turn the horrid entry-hall into a vaulted gallery, lighted by agreeable and elegant ogive windows, and to pave it with white flag-stones. The desert without doors and windows, Avhich they called a kitchen, had sufficiently beautiful proportions to metamorphose admirably into a Gothic sa- loon, to be ornamented with sculptured cor- nices, massive portals, and sombre hangings. To the right, several little rooms would unite themselves into one nice dining-room ; to the left, one could have a study, in which might be found, to while away the solitary hours, pens^ books, and a piano. My mother-in-law lis- 138 MEMOIRS OF tened with an air of stupefaction to these revo- hitionary phms, and seemed to apprehend that I might be a little mad. ^ladame Buffiere, who wished to approve them, asked if the young Parisian dames were all so learned in house-architecture. As for Madame Pontier, she caressed her dog with a bitter smile, and appeared to me to grow every moment more odious. The Pompadour races were to take place ou the morrow ; they proposed my going thither, but I was too fatigued ; and I did not wdsh to appear in the world supported on the arm I had not yet accepted as that of my pro- tector: I consequently exj)ressed my wish to remain at Glandier. They appeared to approve of my decision. My sister-in-law went to Pompadour with one of her cousins. I in- sisted that M. Lafarge should accompany them, and remained at home in freedom, at least in all appearance. My piano arrived from Uzerche during those hours of liberty. I had it unpacked, remounted, and placed in the drawing-room; and I experienced a lively satisfaction on finding its sonorous and bril- liant notes resound as harmoniously after the MADAME LAFARGE. 139 jolting of a hundred leagues^ as they had done at the moment of its departure. My cases had also arriv^ed, and Mesdames Lafarge and Pontier, who kept me in sight, were thunder- struck at all they contained. Many persons came to honour our hospitality after the races. Clementine, ever eager to see me elegant and admired, made me wear a dress of white muslin, fastened my hair with long pins of gold, and placed in it a sprig of purple fox- glove. When M. Lafarge saw me thus, he was enchanted with my toilette, quite proud to present me to his friends, and quite delighted to see his morning bouquet in my hair j while I, touched by his joy and gratitude, permitted him to kiss the forehead which he had adorned. After this I every day received the mountain- flowers, and every evening used them in my toilette for dinner. This first soiree was sufficiently animated : I endeavoured to make myself agreeable, and to be attentive to his guests. I played qua- drilles — I played even the hourre.es which I had heard the evening before ; the company insisted on dancing them, and to me they now appeared far less pretty, executed with 140 MEMOIRS OF arms arranged by pretension, and gestures inanimate, because restrained. They proposed a dejeuner champetre for the next day. Ma- dame Buffiere undertook its arrangements, on the bank of the river, a short distance from Glandier. The weather was fine, but rather stormy, arid the guests very gay, of that noisy gaiety which makes wit by dint of foolery, and which stuns and painfully saddens those who are imable to share in it. There were not enough plates, in consequence of which hands were adroitly called into operation. Glasses were scarce, but this was an enjoj-ment dis- creetly managed — they made such pretty com- mentaries on thoughts discovered by the mar- gin of the indiscreet crystal which your own lips and those of a neighbour had touched. An amiable youth concealed a snail in his lady's beiynet, and great cries and applause fol- lowed the jest. Another, in a fit of distraction, consumed the whole stock of wine provided for dessert: this joke was decried as a bad one, and lengthened several faces, even feminine ones. A third placed a tart upon his head ; and a fourth began singing a drinking song, whose chorus required, as an indispensable MADAME LAFARGE. 141 accompaniment, the shock of glasses and the shock of kisses, which met with great success amongst some cousins, who laughed under their veils, and blushed apparently at the obligation of embracing a little cousiji of their own age. My sombre visage chilled the gaiety of M, La- farge. He proposed to me that I should accom- pany him alone to visit a part of his property, whose chimneys were smoking not far beyond a chestnut-tree grove ; and, under pretext of seeking a fresher spring, we stole away. I ran over the rocks and through the bushes, — in order more quickly to escape all eyes, more quickly to lose the sound of all laughtei*, — so energetically, that wlien I stopped, certain of having escaped them, I amused myself with M. Lafarge, in mocking at our desperate flight. Eight days passed in like manner. I re- ceived a few visits in the morning, and we took long walks, or made short excursions on the Avater. In the evening I set myself at the piano, and had long, serious, and intimate conversations with M. Lafarge. I endeavoured to instil in him some anti-Limousine ideas, which I be- lieved indispensable for every-day life; and 142 MEMOIRS OF especially a few sentiments^ which were more indispensable still in that exchange of esteem and love which must be the base of all happi- ness in marriage. A little time after my arrival, I heard M. Biiffiere boast of having deceived two poor ironmongers, by selling one damaged goods, and by concealing from the other, who trusted to him, the true price of iron. I was so astonished, so appalled by that vain dishonesty, which dared make a virtue of a baseness, that I spoke to M. Pontier, and told him that it would be impossible for me to remain a mute witness of like frauds; and more especially to do the honours of my table to the poor fools whose spoils would hence- forth enrich me. He approved of my sentiment, blamed what seemed blamable to me, and spoke of it to his nephew. M. Lafarge assured me that he did not support his brother-in-law in such con- duct, and that the bad faith of the latter had been one of the causes of their commercial separation. He also promised me to have but one price, and to observe the most scrupulous veracity as to the qualities of his iron. MADAME LAFARGE. 143 M. Pontier, who M-as the confidant of M. Lafarge, had meanwhile made him compre- hend that the chamber of a wife should be a sanctuary, in which she alone should reign, and where she should be all-powerful. He told him that the mysteries of modesty were necessary to the existence of love ; that deli- cacy of words, thoughts, and actions, alone could gain my confidence, my esteem, perhaps my affections. Clementine charged herself with reforming the toilette and appearance of M. La- farge. Knowing all my tastes, perhaps all my follies, she told him the colours I liked — made him wear a cravat which I preferred — and ba- nished some flaring colours which were in very bad taste. M. Lafarge, following her advice, now shaved every day, attended to his hair and his dress, wore great gloves to the forge, and removed from my domestic life two insup- portable calamities, which are of themselves enough to destroy all love, — slip-shod shoes and unattended nails. As for myself, in order to be agreeable to M. Lafarge, I tried to love all whom he loved. I took into my liking his sister's little girl, and even attempted to civi- lise her. She was a beautiful and wild child; 144 MEMOIRS OF of five years of age, and was the god-daughter of M. Lafarge. To wind up all, I procured a manual written for master-ironfounders, and gave myself up to the study of minerals and metals, the various systems of founding, cast- ing, &c. &c. This soon made mc learned enough to talk with an ironfounder without stopping at technicalities, and enabled me to talk with a vain assurance about bars, casting, rough metal, ike. &c. However, I had not yet written to my family. I did not wish them to sufter from my first im- pressions; I dared not mention projects to them Avhich I myself had not invincibly x'C- solved on, and which fled on the wings of ima- gination far away before a fine morning, or a beautiful view, or a single touching M'ord of love. I waited .... Accustomed from infancy to bury in my own bosom all m}' griefs, I never knew the selfish want of sympathy, the humiliation of seeking consolation in the pity of a friend. I know 1ioa\- to forget my sorroAvs to raise the cross which has fallen on t/iose of my heart ; but in solitude and isolation alone do I find the strength to bear my own cross to the foot of Calvary. MADAME LA FAROE. 145 CHAPTER XL OxE evening, after having been present at the casting of a font, I felt myself a little weary. M. Lafarge proposed to me to return by water. It was late : the silent earth slept under the whispers of a gentle wind, that passed through the tremulous trees, and lightly rocked the sleeping flowers, as it ravished from those lovely daughters of the sun their glorious per- fumes. Occasionally a foolish grasshopper chirped out its joyous song, that woke a whole republic of austere ants. A frog, perhaps dying for love, breathed forth a grievous sigh ; and then, on a sudden, a weak but vibrating note interrupted sighs and songs, — the nightingale commanded silence, that she might serenade the youngest rose whom she adored. In the heavens the stars glittered, and the moon smiled at her own beauty, as her pale and di\ine image VOL.. II. H 146 MEMOIRS OF glowed ill the water beneath her. M. Lafarge pulled a few feeble and distant strokes with the oar He encircled me with one arm, for I was sitting at the side of the boat, abandoning one of my hands to the refreshing wave, and watching tlie little stream v\'hich ran by Mith- out a rijiple, yet )nur mured as it flowed with strange mysteries. A beautiful water-lily floated by. I made an abrupt movement to seize it, and M. La- farge cried out in afl'right. ^' Ah," said I to him laughing, ^^ you are still pursued by imaginings of suicide ; calm your- self; reason has returned, and my imagination, at times somewhat erratic, is never sovereign — ivoman and despot but for a few minutes." ^^ You will not leave us, then ?" ^^ That depends upon yourself alone." '^ You know, Marie, that my only wish is to obey and to please jou.^' ^' Well, promise then to let me continue venj much your sister and very little your wife. You are silent ! Come, accept my proposal, and you shall see how amiable a sister I can make." '^ But sometimes may I not lo^•e you a little also as my wife ?" MADAME LAFARGE. 147 ^' We shall see — on great clays, when you have been very amiable, and when you shall have given me a great courage; for I avow I have still fear — yes, a frightful fear." '• I accept what you will, little original ; I love you to madness : do you not love me a little ?" '' Not yet, but I feel that that will come, with the aid of God's grace, and, above all, of your ovjn. To begin now, I allow you to kiss me three times ; they shall be three binding signa- tures, to make the contract obligatory." The three kisses would probably have been infinitely multiplied, but happily my beautiful water-lilv enabled me to discharge a whole ar- tillery of drops of water against him ; and then we were at the landing-place, and were, of course, obliged to disembark. The morrow of the day in which I had ac- cepted my new duties, I ran over my ruinous chateau with a more indulgent eye. I made plans and projects for its embellishment. Then I wrote to those Avhom I loved, particu- larly to my aunt Garat, from whom I begged some articles of absolute necessity. A man- servant, wax candles, lamps, and other little II 2 148 MEMOIRS OF means for naturalising propriety in my little kingdom. I had not the least explanation with those that surrounded me ; but I imder- stood that my mother-in-law had learnt our conversation from her son^ when she brought me, M'ith a dignified and sad air, the keys be- longing to the ministry of the interior, which she had, she told me, governed for forty years, with order, economy, and prudence. I would not receive the reins of goverimient from hands that were more skilful than mine ; but M. La- farge required it, and all I could persuade him to accede to was, that a second bunch of keys should be made, that my mother-in-law might have access to all that was useful or agreeable, without recourse to me or my servants. From that moment I resolved that my thoughts should not rest upon the past, but be exclusively occu- pied on amelioration of the future. I there- fore determined to banish weakness and ennui at once. Yet at times my heart would suffer from vague sorrows — at times I wept, without reason for the tears Avhose bitterness corroded my cheeks ; but I was ashamed both of my grief and my tears, and I carefully concealed them, recalling to my mind that I ouyht and MADAME LAFARGE. 149 ivoiikl be happy. During the day I Mas occu- pied, active, and frequently gay. I determined to be amiable, and to dift'use happiness around me ; but when night came, my fears and my sadness involuntarily returned. I became something more than ill-humoured; and I would play the piano until three or four in the morning. : Truly I am tempted to call the bravery of despair what the world stigmatises as weak- ness ; and I experience as much astonishment as shame, in thinking of the audacious courage required to make a Marion Delorme, or a Ma- non Lescaut. We had now wedding-visits to return, and were invited to a little ball. It was decided that we should pass a week at Uzerche. During the few hours of repose that I took in my passage to Vigeois, they presented to me one of our neighbours, the Count de Tourdonnet. He was an amiable man, of chivalrous mind and character, an ancient officer of the navy, become, in consequence of his legitimist opi- nions, a very peaceable castellian. His con- versation pleased me ; and I was happ)^ to 150 MEMOIRS OF learn that he Avas married to a young and pretty M-oman, Avho might become a pleasing distraction for my solitude^ and a friend for my thoughts. I was received at Uzerche by an uncle of M. Lafarge, Captain Matere, an old soldier, kind and loyal, who received me with aflfectionate kindness. I found only two faults in his fa- mily : a wife cold, passee, and withered as one of those old pictures of our grand-mothers, which wear an eternal smile for the benefit of their descendants ; and a daughter always laboriously employed in adorning a very indif- ferent person — who was sufficiently ugly to be good, but unhappily not sufficiently good to be ugly. Among the other members of his family with Whom I made acquaintance, I remarked M. Brugere, M-hom I was instructed to fear and detest, but whose sarcastic spirit amused with- out terrifying me ; and Mademoiselle Emma Pontier, a young girl with a noble heart — a loving and sweet creature, isolated by her taste and intelligence in the midst of her family — who wanted a friend, and unhappily MADAME LAFARGE. 151 had the misfortune to love me, on compre- hending all the sympathy which drew me towards her. The morrow of my arrival, I made thirty visits in the course of a day; that is to say, I walked from door to door to gratify a greedy curiosity, and supply new food for the mali- cious and calumniating jesters of the city of Uzerclie. I was stupified witli all I was obliged to see or hear. The mistresses of the houses received us in their kitchens, with their hair in disorder, their caps covered with ribands and flowers, patched dresses, rumpled collerettes, blue stock- ings, old shoes, and an incredible amount of luxury in the article of dirty hands. In these visits, one entered, saluted, sat down, and began to converse. The first theme was regularly, the regret I must experience at leaving Paris ; the ugliness of the country ; the ennui which awaited me in a 2)Iace so isolated as Glandier. They would then congratulate M. Lafarge on the possession of my fortune, and interrogate me respecting my suj)erb dresses, vxy forte-piano, and my servante, who appeared to them extremely elegant, and to M'hom I must 152 MEMOIRS OF pay at least ninety francs a year; then followed all the slanders and malicious topics of a scan- dalous conversation. Astonishment stupified me during the first five visits, — enmd made me still more stupid during the remainder. I at first involuntarily occupied myself by endeavouring to find some clean little place on which I could rest my eyes; and after a searcli, always in vain, I re- turned to the curl-papers of my hostess, whicli I began to read, and found them more or less amusing, according to the age of the brats she sent to school. To relieve me from these dull corvees, M. Pontier proposed a short excursion to La Grenerie, an estate belonging to M. Deplaces, a rich iron-master. I found a beautiful chateau in the midst of magnificent forests. I Avas received with kind- ness by Madame Deplaces, an old lady, who joined to the dignit)'^ of her age indulgent and cordial feelings ; and by her daughter-in-law, a talented and elegant person, who was blessed 'with two charming children. This return into the civilised world did me gi'cat good ; but in returning, the weather was frightful, — the rain, driven by the tempest into- MADAME LAFARGE. 153 the head of the hritschka^ streamed on our faces and our clothes. On arriving at Uzerche we were fearfully wet. As there was a family dinner^ it was necessary I should put on my best looks ; however, about ten o'clock, I suf- fered so much that I was obliged to beg per- mission to retire. Madame Pontier followed me to my room, and found me in a fever ; she made me swallow large quantities of tisane, prescribed for me profound repose, and to ren- der that more complete, installed Clementine as sick-nurse, and interdicted her nephew's en- tering my chamber. I had slept more than an hour, oppressed by fever and fatigue, when I heard some one knocking violently at the door. I asked, with the impatience of a poor sick person suddenly woke from sleep, what was Avanted ? '^ Open !" cried M. Lafarge. " Has not Madame Pontier told you that, in consequence of my illness, she had directed Clementine to sleep in my chamber." "• Send her away ; I wish to enter." *' My friend, you must not. I beg you to let me sleep. Let us leave a lengthened expla- nation until to-morrow." h5 154 MEMOIRS OF An oath of the most genteel description an- swered me ; and thinking to be quit of him for this emphatic termination, I buried myself in the depths of my pillow. " Madame," said my lady's-maid, after a short time, ^' I hear a singular noise in the lock — if there should be robbers ?^' " It is nothing. How timid you are !" The noise still continued ; but recognising it as an amiable pleasantry on the part of my husband, I did not move. The bolt was solid j and I hoped that after a few minutes he would get tired of his part of locksmith. " Open," he shortly cried, however, with re- doubled anger, ^'or I will break in the door!" " It is impossible ; I entreat you to leave me to repose." " Open, I sa)^, or I break in !" '^ Break in, if you choose ; but you know well that force will not avail with me." ^' I am master here, and I will enter. It is not you 1 want, but my chamber ; give it up to me, and go to the devil, if that suits you." A furious kick, followed by the coarsest in- vectives, made me tremble. Then, strong from my indignation, I leapt out of bed, opened the MADAME LAFARGE. 155 door, and, crossing my arms on my bosom, stood before him in mute anger. M. Lafarge, his eyes haggard, his face distorted with pas- sion, wished to drag me violently towards him, addressing me the while with odious epithets ; but^ exhausted by his rage, he was obliged to throw liimself upon a bed, and I was able to retire into the antechamber, overwhelmed with shame and despair, concealing my head in my hands, to stifle my sobs ; while mj- kind Cle- mentine covered witli tears and kisses my frozen feet, which she in vain sought to warm. We were in the cabinet for a fe^v minutes, when, on a sudden, groans, complaints, and cries of agony, were heard in the neighbouring chamber. Alarmed, we would ha\"e opened the door of the antechamber, in which we had taken refuge, to seek for help, but it was locked ; and when I sent Clementine to M. Lafarge, who continued to groan, she found him in a frightful state, incapable of speaking, and writhing on his bed. *^ Call for help, Madame," she immediately cried ; " but for heaven's sake do not come in ; he will make you die with fear.'^ I shook the door with all the force in my 156 MEMOIRS OF arms; but I hurt them, without bemg able to burst it open ; and, half mad, I opened the window in despair, tied a sheet to it, and was preparing to let mj'self down into the court. At that moment Madame Matere, hearing the noise, came to the window to ask what was the matter. I cried to her that her nephew was horribly ill; that the door Avas locked; and that they must come and open it without delay. In less than an instant the whole house was afoot ; a locksmith was sent for. At last M, Pontier and the family rushed into the chamber. My aunts, frightened by my bewildered air, took me to their room with them, to try and calm my despair; and soon after M. Pontier came to re- assure me, and to tell mc that his nephew had only suffered from a violent nervous attack, whiclr he attributed to the coldness of the morning, and an excitement caused by the champagne. My uncle then made me lie down, gave me a calming potion, and surrounded me with deli- cate cares and consolation. I sent, every quarter of an hour, to gain in- formation respecting M. Lafarge. He asked to see me immediately ; but M. Pontier re- fused to allow me to enter his chamber until MADAME LAFARGE. 157 the crisis was over : and when I understood what this crisis referred to^ it was I who re- fused to enter ; and I explained to my uncle that I should not have the power to endure a repetition of such a scene. I determined to jDrevent its recurrence by appearing profoundly hurt, and by shewing to M. Lafarge that a few words of repentance and regret could not ob- tain pardon for an anger as unjust as brutal. Overpowered by emotion, I slept towards morning ; and at my Avaking, they brought me a tender letter from my aunt Garat, which ap- peared to arrive providentially, to drive away the memory of my terrors and anguish, and to make me forget my intended severity. I was consequently disposed to indulgence when M. Pontier came to ask my permission to conduct to me his faulty nephew, Avhom he had already sub-^ jected to three hours of lecture and repentance. M. Lafarge cast himself weeping at my knees. I extended him my hand, which he embraced with transport. Forbidding him the least M'ord of explanation, I promised never to make an allusion to that sad night, whose re- membrance seemed so justly to humiliate and distress him. 158 MEMOIRS OF M. Lafarge was as well as possible — I was ill ; yet as he feared scandalous and annoying suppositions^ if I did not attend a ball which took place that evening, I promised to van- quish my uneasiness. But at the same time I told him that, instead of making any secret of his violence, I should simply state that his poor head, heated by champagne, had undergone a terrible nervous attack, which terrified my in- experience ; and that, seeing liim so ill, I had believed him quite dead. ^' Go," I added, smiling seriously; " you have your pardon — I remember it no more ; but take care not to re-awaken this grief, for I could not survive it.'^ I was still sad and fatigued when it became necessary to prepare for the ball, and attend to my toilette. Seven was the hour fixed for the fete ; but Mademoiselle Matere, raised by her elegance to the position of lionne, would not appear until an hour later than all the other ladies ; and, thanks to this submission to her lofty position, I was able to enjoy, on my en- trance, a complete coiq) cVrnl of a Limousin rout. MADAME LAFARGE. 159 CHAPTER XII. How singular a thing is a ball in a little pro- vincial town, which has not the honour of being a prefecture, and which does not even pos- sess the sweet consolation of possessing a sub- prefect ! The ball to which I had been invited was one given to the beauties of Uzerche by the young collegians, who, having received their crowns in the morning, wished to dance Avith all their glory in the evening, and, chival- rous vanquishers of participles or translations, to make the sovereigns of their thoughts dance in honour of their triumphs. The little hundred-sous piece, extracted from a grandmother's tenderness, or that which leapt, in a moment of pride, from a father^s purse, are sacrificed in the preparations for the fete. These gallant boys have perhaps col- lected sixty francs — that is a great deal; and 160 MEMOIRS OF they can join two branch histres to six heau- tiful cundleSj and the sharp melody of a flute to the shrieking notes of a violin. An estaniinet had lent its large saloon for the ball. Around, on narrow benches, the lady dancers were sitting in the shadow of their mother's turbans. In the middle, a compact mass of black-vested men, in white pantaloons, left but a difficult passage for the young stew- ards, as they performed their duty of receiving the new-comers, smiling at the women, and snuffing the candles. All the young girls, dressed in white and spotless muslin, cut in a virtuous fashion, like the tunics of the holy Virgin, had very red arms under their Scotch thread gloves, and cheeks fresher tlian the knots of satin riband that glowed in their hair. They occupied themselves very attentively in keeping a double register of their engagements. The young unmarried girls, distinguished by a formidable streamer at the bottom of their skirt, and u rose over the ear, were excessively confidential to each other, and divided modest glances coquctlishly between the partners past and partners to come with commendable im- partiality. MADAME LAFARGE. 161 The young M'ives_, lost amidst the tulle, the satin ribands, flowers, and jewels of the mar- riage trousseau, talked loud, and laughed more loudly? as they disputed the qualities of their admirers. While this M'ent on, the respect- able mothers were estimating dresses and vir- tues ; reckoning the dowers of the dancers ; detailing the result of their arithmetical stiidies to then* neighbours; and speculating on the hopes of catching the marriageable partners who seemed smitten by their daughters' charms. Thanks to the merits of novelty, I was honoured with the jealousy of all the women, on account of the admiration of all the men ; and I Avas an absolute torture to the imagination of the ela- borate calculators near. They Avere unable to value or comprehend my simple India muslin trimmed with hops, and found an improper and blamable levitv in my head-dress, adorned with the blossoms of these same hops, from which I had 1)orrowed all the simple elegance of my toilette. M. Lafarge presented some of his friends to me ; and among others, M. de Meynard, whose lively and caustic spirit, with its Parisian memories and regrets, almost made me look on him as a countrvman, and wil- 162 MEMOIRS OP lingly accept him as mj' chevalier for the rest of the evening. The bonhomie of our young heroes, so happy in their ball, and so proud to shew themselves gallant to the ladies, caused me for a while to forget the scene of the previous evening; while the inconceivable novelties that surrounded me even gave me a few moments of joj', which were matters of astonishment to the rest of the assembly, who could not conceive of dancing in a provincial bull-room with pleasure in the eyes, and a smile on the lips. In preparing for this ball. Mademoiselle ^latere, with the double intention of looking beautiful, and vexing me by depriving me of the distinction of being the only female dressed in the newest fashion, had copied the shape of one of my marriage-dresses. It was only at the ball I recognised the brother she had impro- vised to my corsage. Unhappily, I perceived at the same time that a second little corsage, quite indispensable to the modesty of this description of dress, had been forgotten ; and that the any thing but ivory shoulders of ray cousin [were too freely shewn above their silken prison. Thinking this rather more than ridiculous, I warned her MADAME LAFARGE. 163 with very periphrastic delicacy of her mistake ; but my observations were very drily received, and I saw that she thought me jealous of the indiscretion of her criticised corsage. The scandalised and sneering looks of the other girls, and the stifled laughter of the young men, had no more success than my warning. It was in the fashion, and there was 110 reply to this for a provincial lioness. All did not end with these ball-room criticisms ; and the marguillier, charged with the task of observation by the curate of Uzerche, for the purpose of reporting to him the doings and looks of his sweet flock, did not forget, in his report, the corsage and shoulders of my cousin. The next day at mass the text was accord- ingly the dangers of a ball and of worldly pleasures. After a fearful picture of the hor- rible sufferings destined to balance the joys of this life in everlasting hell, M. le cure turned to Mademoiselle Matere, who was not two steps from his pulpit, and uttered the follow- ing peroration, in the thundering voice of a prophet : — ^^ Woe, three times woe, to this age of iniquity, in which one beholds a mother her- 164 MEMOIRS OF self lead her daughter to the schools of Satan ; in which one sees a young Christian, desperate at counting three -and -twenty virgin years, trust not to the grace of God, but to the grace of her shoulders, for catching a husband. Be- lieve me, brethren, that the wrath of God shall fall on charms conjured up by the sorcery of fashion ; and the honest man will not choose a wife by such marks of distinction." I know not how the poor girl, thus admo- nished, could support this public humiliation j nor can I conceive how her father and brother could restrain their wratli. Every mouth re- peated the Avords of this address — every chari- table feminine in the parish commented on them. The Matere family for some time remained embroiled with their spiritual guide ; but as in the provinces the dignity of certain positions does not permit their holders to be contented with a vicar as confessor, Easter brought peace and forgetfulness. Religion in Limousin is but a compound of fanaticism and superstition. The clergy of the country parts appeared to me generally very ignorant and intolerant ; the pulpit often be- MADAME LAFARGE. 165 coming the echo of scandal, and the first stone being too often thrown by the shepherd of the flock himself. In the dev^otion of the women there is a total absence oi juste milieu. Some sacrificing to the " what will people say," fulfil with as much negligence as coldness i\\Qform of their religious duties ; while others, whom they call menettes, forget their household for the church, their husbands for their confessor, utter as many prayers as scandals, and if they give no aims to their suffering brethren, load with sweet confections their cure wdio suffers not. The churches are dirtj^ and dilapidated ; divine service is celebrated without calm or gravity ; fasting and abstinence are preached to poor people who live on herbs and black bread ; the vanity and dangers of the things of this world are denounced to poor wretches who possess not even the vanity of cleanliness, and who know nothing beyond their pigs, their fowls, and their privations. What a dif- ference between such sermons and those of . the simple-hearted cure of Villers-Hellon, who taught our peasants to assist and mutually love each other J to offer prayers amid their la- bours ; and who said to the old men, '^ Blessed 166 MEMOIRS OF are the poor, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven ;" to the children, " tell the truth, and honour your parents;" who taught families honesty, and young girls virtue. Superstition, all mighty amongst the Limousins, still exists in the middle ranks. On arriving at Glandier, I was told that the spirits of the old monks revisited the earth, and that Madame Buffiere had seen several of these ghostly confessors in the cloisters. Madame Lafarge, mIio had no religious principles, and perhaps did not even believe in the Gospel, most firmly believed in the devil. She told me, that having forgotten one day to make the sign of the cross on her daughter's cradle, to conjure the demon, the malicious spirit had overturned the barcelonnette, and left the blue traces of his black nails on the neck of the unhappy child. Befoi'e returning to Glandier, it was agreed that I should have an opportunity of admiring the little capital of La Correze; and as AL Lafarge had some business to transact there, M. Ponticr accompanied us to act as my cha- peron during his absence. Tulle is deliciouslv situated for the lovers MADAME LAFARGE. 16/ of the picturesque. The houses^ ranged upon the slopes of two little hills, seem to have there placed tliemselves as if in curiosity^ to look upon their own Correze, and overlook the diligences as they roll under the avenues of the promenade ; — the dwellings of the lower classes, dirty, frail, and without order, are grouped at the top of the amphitheatre — those of the wealthy burgesses form a cincture to the river of regular and civilised-looking houses. The interior of the town is frightful; the streets are staircases, filthj^, narrow, and diffi- cult as the paths to Paradise; the houses dis- close to the spectator a profound misery. Dark- looking men, sooty and unshaven, make the anvil ring under theu* blows ; while women, sitting at the threshold of their doors, exchange volleys of slander, from one end of the street to the other, administering at intervals innu- merable boxes on the ear to the numberless children who are Avrangling for chestnuts at their feet. Carriages are prohibited in Tulle — they would indeed be useless in these scarjied streets ; accordingly there is no society, every one living for himself and by himself. The belles Tulloises, who are sufficiently plain, em- 168 MEMOIRS OF ploy themselves in their households, but still more in those of their neighbours ; they go to three balls in the winter for the sake of finding subjects for scandal ; and when the balls fail to afford them, call to their assistance the ever- new and potent arms of calumny. As for the men, they pass their lives in tlie cafes, or at the halls. They are almost wholly advocates, attornej's, physicians, and republicans. Some few possess both talent and rascality, but most of them the rascality without the talent. After having made a visit to the prefect, and some friends of M. Lafarge, M. Pontier made me admire the manufactury of arms at Souliac ; then, in spite of him, impelled by an irresistible impulse, I insisted on seeing the prison, the burial-ground, and also the hall of justice. It was assize-time. A poor girl, accused of infanticide, stood at the bar ; and I was struck with astonishment as I, for the first time, be- held the array of human justice, so lacking majesty, and so sadly sinister. Neither thought nor understanding was visible on the brows of the jurymen, and the foreheads of the bench were as destitute of dignity. I was very soon about to quit that terrible hall, when I M-as MADAME LAFARGE. 1C9 detained by the eloquent and impressive speech of the young advocate who defended tlie ac- cused. The poor girl was acquitted ; and the same evening, when M. Pcntier persuaded me to scale the rocks that overlooked Tulle, I was pleased to meet the young defender who in the morning had made me feel so deeply. I was pleased that my uncle introduced him to me ; pleased that he joined our partj^ and that the very sincere compliments I paid him appeared to be received by his heart more than his vanity. Night, enveloped in her light veils of mist, had not yet donned her coronet of stars ; work had ceased ; the Angelus echoed in the dis- tance ; some birds were already sleeping, while others, perched above their nests^ Avar- bled with a sweet monotony to their compa- nions. We folloM'ed a narrow path, which neither allowed the support of an arm, nor permitted conversation. Only when the vast panorama stretched at our feet gave me a new impression, I turned to my two guides to make them share it ; and several times surprised the eye of M. Lachaud, which, fixed upon me, ap- peared to interrogate, to study, and to divine jny thoughts. That look, severe and suspicious VOL. ri. I 170 MEMOIRS OF during our walk, expressed at our return a sym^ pathetic sadness : it appeared to protect me> * o defend me, and to promise me a friend for the future. I saw M. Lachaud no more imtil the daj-s of my sorrow; then he was the first at my side — and I expected him. 4 MADAME LAFARGE. 1/1 CHAPTER XIII. After these three weeks of visiting, which Avere for the most part tedious enough, I was glad to find myself at home, and commenced with courage my part of Robinson Crusoe. Having six bricklayers at my disposal, I at once forgot the agreeable in the useful. I had part of the mansion, which was in a state of ruin, shut up. I had workmen to repair the roof — locksmiths for the doors and to the windows ; but all this went on so slowly and so ill, and the work of the evening had so often to be undone in the morning, that winter advanced quicker than our labours, and I de- spaired for this year to shelter myself from the rain and frost. In the interior of the man- sion I obtained more satisfactory results. Se- conded by a good domestic, whom M. Lafarge had obtained for me from Paris, I had esta- i2 172 MEMOIRS OF blished the despotic reign of cleanliness. The carpets descended from the top of the com- modes to the humility of warming our feet ; the old walls were stripped of their spiders' dra- pery ; and the dust was exiled to the garret, along A\itli the luxurious red hangings, which were replaced by modest calico curtains of a dazzling whiteness. In my own chamber I united all which could minister to the comfort of my life — my favourite books, my work, and my piano. A large table placed in the middle was covered with all that was necessary for writing; the chimney-piece and the commode were stre^'n witli the sou- venirs of my infancy and my girlhood ; and around me were the portraits of those I had loved, encouraging me with their looks, smiling on my efforts and at my anxiety to be happy. I could never believe that the souls of those absent friends who have preceded us into eter- nity content themselves with a few tears and prayers. No ! according to my ideas, they wish that their memories should preserve us from evil, and that our life should be sufficiently pure to honour their memory and deserve their blessing. MADAME LAFARGE. 173 The most difficult part of my reform was that which attacked the numberless abuses and intolerable dirtinesses of the kitchen and the service of the table. In that country, where all business is transacted and all pleasures com^ mence or terminate at table — where friendship consists much more in a tender interchange of dinner than of thoughts, the art of cooking is one of seduction, indispensable in young wives, who rarely trust to mercenary hands that great instrument of household pleasure and allure- ment. There is no Limousin husband so ill-hu- moured who cannot be pacified by an excellent cup of coffee : a wife is all-powerful when she can cook a hare a la royale. A potato-sala- mander which has not been burnt is an infal- lible remedy for jealousy ; and the mistress of a family who knows how to vanquish the difficul- ties of confectionary has almost acquired the right of deceiving her spouse with impunity. Grand dinners last four or five hours ; and as the number of dishes is known and commented on by the whole neighbourhood, quality must necessarily be sacrificed to quantity. The com- pany sits down, then, round a table covered with 174 MEMOIRS OF a countless throng of large and small dishes, combined in a manner that enable them to arrange the largest number possible. Every joint of veal or mutton has a rendezvous there under different shapes ; roast pullets contem- plate boiled ones with an air of contempt ; ducks served with olives make the modest ducks with turnips grow pale with anger. The dinner is, in fact, a gastronomic and ferocious parody of the massacre of the innocents. The interval between the first and second course is a critical moment for the mistress of the house. Her unquiet eye follows the dishes which they bring in, and observes the manner in which they place them. A servant forgets the symmetry of the table — the lady blushes and makes uncomprehended signs — rises with vexa- tion to re-establish the order of battle, while she scolds the rude peasant who has played so ill his part of maitre d'hotel. This second part of the dinner, which has only caused the death of five rotis, is in re- venge composed of every known vegetable, of creams of all colours, and cakes of all kinds. At last, when the dessert is placed on the table, after a crisis more violent still than the first for the MADAME LAFARGE. 175 amiable hostess, the gaiety becomes more noisy. The butterflies wliich percli on the cakes ; the doves that repose on the top of tlie biscuits of Savoy ; the burning hearts which are pierced with arrows on the top of the macaroons, — be- come the texts of the most gallant wit and the most piquant pleasantries. Then the young persons blushingly discuss the sentimental ro- mances of Mademoiselle Puget. The mothers sing songs of the Directory ; and the merry songs of the fathers and the husbands termi- nate joyously the charming reunion. Besides the dinners, there are dejeimers - dinatoires, almost as long and as sumptuous ', lunches, indispensable in country visits ; and lastly, pancakes, which agreeably replace the lectures and morning concerts of other parts of France. Some time after my arrival, having visited a physician who was one of M. Lafarge's friends, I accepted the offer of refreshment ; and after waiting two hours, thej'^ brought me red wine, white wine, liqueurs, and a large calPs head dressed au nature!. The kitchen, that sanctuary of the Limou- sin wife, where she passes the greater part of her household life, should be a clean 176 MEMOIRS OF and elegant laboratory, worthy those great artistes — it is nothing of the kind. It is always dirty, damp, and disorderly. The fowls v.alk over the tables, the children cry there, dogs and cats abound there, and make it their residence. When I required that the kitchen at Glandicr should be clean every day at every hour, promises, threats, and recom- penses were necessary to obtain it from the domestics of the country ; but 1 could never altogether banish the villanous fowls and pigs, which in this province replace the beautiful sheep of Picardy. I had great trouble to obtain a few altera- tions in the arrangements of the table. There were several half rebellions when I substituted two for the four habitual meals, when I re- quired that the linen should be scrupulously clean, and the plate cleaned every day. The first time I had company to dinner, having had the forty dishes of etiquette replaced by four modest entrees, and having large vases of flowers and fruit placed on the table, my mo- ther-in-law was in despair ; and having vainly supplicated me, in the name of the honour of the house, not to retrench the proper number MADAME LAFARGE. 177 of dishes, ran in tears to reclaim the riyhts of her son, in order to compel me to yield. Those rights were scarcely expressed ; I made M. Lafarge understand by a kiss that / was in the right ; and at the hour of dinner, perceiving that, in spite of my order, they had considerably exceeded my bill of fare, I boldly had the surplus carried back to the kitchen. This act of authority put an end to all dis- cussion ; and it is but proper to state, that the discontent of Madame Lafarge did not endure above a week. I had begged my mother-in- law to remain at the head of the house : this she had refused ; and, in my turn, I would not accept a government controlled in the eyes of my servants, nor, while I willingly received suggestions, permit perfidious critiques to be made to my husband. My mother-in-law loaded me with caresses, flatteries, and attention ; yet I perceived that she was very jealous of my empire over her son, and that she tried to destroy it. I par- doned her : the heart of a mother should scarcely bear to share the tender affection of a child, and I was fully aware of all the essen^ I 5 178 MEMOIRS OF tial qualities which I wanted to gain the entire sympathy of Madame Lafarge. Our habits se- parated us even more than our ages. Having ahrays been veiy plain, witli a husband who was very faithless, she had been compelled to seek in the bustle of her household for all her enjoyments, and her ideas were consequently singularly contracted to that object. My mo- ther-in-law suspected every thing and every body ; was mysterious in her words, still more so in her actions ; and passed her days locked np in her chamber, the door of which, double- bolted, was not opened without infinite precau- tions. That chamber was the most curious of any in the house. Madame Lafarge kept her provisions and her small culinary apparatus there : turkeys fed in one corner, cheeses grew mouldy in another. The fire-place was im- ceasingly encumbered with saucepans and cof- fee-pots. She would not permit mj- domestics to touch it with a broom, and the maids did not even dare to enter the room for the pur- pose of making her bed. Madame Lafarge still preserved the custom of going to bed without undressing; only at night she turned MADAME LAFARGE. 179 lier shawl inside out, to reverse it again with the first blush of A.urora. As for Madame Buffiere, my sister-in-law, she was a little termagant, w^ho led her hus- band and her mother, who feared her, by the nose ; and was herself similarly led by a clerk, who had become a partner in their concern. This ^I. Magnaud, who had but one eye, from his vulgar and gross manners, as well as his trifiing conversation and impertinent familiarity, became insupportable to me. Knowing, how- ever, that my sister-in-law loved him like a bro- ther, I endeavoured not to be rude to him, although I kept him at a respectful distance, whose bounds I never suffered him to pass. This little colon}'', of my sister-in-law and my two brothers-in-law, wdiich daily joined our own, left shortly after my arrival for a forge they had rented at Fayes. I was not much grieved by this crescendo of solitude. Madame Buffiere loved me with too great an excess of words and kisses for me to think her very sin- cere. She was not without wit ; but she was one of those subtle and shrewd spirits, who call a smile to the lip, but produce no echo in the heart. In short, M. Lafarge having recora- 180 MEMOIRS OF mended me to be very reserved and cautious in my conversations Avith her, I saw her depart with more joy than sadness. At the moment of her departure, little Ade* laide Buffiere clung to my neck with such despair, that I entreated her mother to trust me with her for the winter. She consented ; and that good little creature, who loved me, became my dail}- comjjanion. When I played the piano, she would dance ; if I sang, she would listen and weep ; and when I was oc- cupied in embroidering, she sat at my feet and learnt her alphabet. M. Lafarge, occupied in his business, passed his mornings iji making out account^:, and re- ceiving the dealers who came to him to sell wood or purchase iron. I rarely saw him be- fore mid-day. HaA'ing sometimes sought him in his bureau, I remarked that my presence always seemed to annoy and constrain him ; so I resolved never again to set my foot in that sanctuary of business. After breakfast, we went to superintend the labours of some masons, as also those of eight pioneers, who had been placed entirely under my orders, to level the environs of the ruin,. MADAME LAFARGE. 181 which I wished to surround with sweet shrubs and evergreens. I had formed an immense plan, which was to be realised bit by bit, and which I hoped to accomplish in six years. Absolute mistress of all the details of improve- ment, every thing I decided upon was sure to be agreed to without discussion ; and M. La- farge appeared enchanted, when, with a level in one hand, or a square in the other, I sm-veyed the proportions of the gothic win- dows in my little gallery, or traced out the curves of a path. Thence we would go to the forge ; and it became my turn to shave in his ideas of improvement ; to listen and to be in- structed. Sometimes we rode out together to make acquaintance with some lovely vicAV 5 at other times we went on foot through forests in search of some beautiful mountain-flowers^ and I would return with bundles of heath and purple foxglove, garlands of honeysuckle, and hops, which M. Lafarge had sought among the thornsj for the purpose of making me a festive crown. In the evening, I read my fa- vourite books aloud, or played the airs which had soothed my childhood, or the ballads of his province. Sometimes I Avould sing some sad 182 MEMOIRS OF romance 5 but then he slept, and my dark thoughts would return upon me, and I was miserable, alarmed, and not very amiable until the morning. MADAME LAFARGE. 183 CHAPTER XIV. A MONTH after my arrival at Glandier, I was invited to the baptism of one of M. Tour- donnet's daughters. My first visit to St. Martin took place consequently in the midst of Vifete, which had assembled his numerous family. They were cheerful, and I found among them the amiable and polished usages of Parisian life. Madame de Tourdonnet was a charming little woman, all red and white, with a pretty little hand and foot, with the rare virtue there of neglecting culinary perfection to play the part of a ladylike hostess. M. Tourdonnet revived in his little circle the noble and cordial hos- pitality of our ancient chevaliers. His words and looks gave you the most sincere welcome. ~ He received you with heart and soul. In talking with M. Tourdonnet, we were always removed from those common-places which be- 184 MEMOIRS OP long to the dominion of positive and ordinary life. He was satirical on opinions, Muthout being so on persons ; and in his firm deter- mination never to agree with others, pro- pounded the most original ideas, and gave rise to the most amusing and animated dis- cussions. There was no female to whom I Avas a stran- ger in this little J^ete, which brought together all the okl friends of the familj', and some young men intimately connected Avith M. de Tourdonnet. Amongst these, 1 remarked M. le Marquis de Corhn, who, by his distinguished manners, free from the slightest pretension, his noble mien and handsome face, made me dream upon the means of metamorphosing him into a cousin, and of transplanting into our solitude, with his assistance, an elegant relative Avhom I dearly loved. Having passed the night at St. Martin, the next day was devoted to visiting the beautiful chateau in detail. Its gardens are elegantly laid out, and its bea\itiful meadows and woods, which stretch to a considerable distance round it, make it a superb agricultural property. I left this place with the desire to return often. MADAME LAFARGE. 185 and become the friend of its kind inhabitants. Rough roads doubled the distance between us, bvit that was a difficulty wbich a horse easily overcame ; and I already knew the thickets, rocks, and ravines of the Limousin roads so well, that, far from dreading, I felt a certain pleasure in braving them, and in not suffering my speed to be slackened by such trifling ob- stacles. A short time after this period, I was unwell, and obliged to keep my bed with a burning fever, and horrible pains in the head. During this short illness, M. Lafarge passed all the days by my side. He did not even trust me by night entirely to Clementine's care, and rose many times to visit me with the most restless anxiety. One evening, when I had been sadly stricken by intelligence from my friends in Alsace, I felt myself much worse ; and M. Lafarge watched by me the Avhole night. Towards midnight the blood rushed to my head, the extremities of my limbs contracted — became cold ; I had scarcely power to speak, and soon after lost my consciousness. When I recovered from this state, I saw every one in the house around me. M. La- 186 MEMOIRS OF farge, sobbing on his knees near my bed, warmed my hands with his breath, crying out that he would not survive me, but would die if I should die. Clementine wept, and sprinkled cold water over my head. Madame Lafarge looked on with a frightened air; Mhile some women and some of our workmen were pray- ing on their knees at a distance in the al- cove. I could not yet speak ; but moved by all this grief, I tried to press the hand of M. Lafarge, who, perceiving me revive, embraced me Avith transpoi'ts of joy. This despair, these testimonies of love and of gladness, which saluted my return to life, touched me deeply, — my eyes, my words, ex- pressed it ; and I was happy to revive, and feel myself so well beloved. I was therefore, when the physician arrived, almost calm. M. Lafarge told him that I had suffered from congestion of the brain, and that he had saved me by applying blisters to my feet, cold water to my head, and bathing my hands in hot water. Dr. Bardon did not agree with him, but attri- buted my alarming state to a nervous attack. I had suffered so much, and M. Lafarge was so pleased to have saved my life, that the deci- MADAME LAFARGE. 187 sion, not very delicately expressed, of his Escu- lapian friend did not lessen my gratitude, and I did not doubt of the danger from which he had preserved me. I had never feared death; but tiie thought of dying separated from my sister, and far from those I loved, without any time to leave them all that love and my latest thoughts, appalled me. Above all, I felt that the earth would lie heavy on me in a strange country, amid un- known dead. I made M. Lafai'ge swear that he would send me to sleep my eternal slumber near my dear grandfather, in the shelter of the prayers, the thoughts, and the flowers, which would be lavished on me in the cemetery of Villers-Hellon. On the following day, Clementine came to me when I was awake with a mysterious air, and gave me a large letter from M. Lafarge. " Why this letter ? what has happened ?" I asked. " Nothing, Madame ; but Monsieur, who loves you so much, has made his will. He has read it to me, and I heard it nith tears. He desired me to give it you secretly, and to tell you to conceal it among your papers." 188 MEMOIRS OF I did ]iot immediately comprehend this reso- lution of M. Lafarge ; but after reading the wish he expressed to be interred near me at Villers-Hellon, I recalled to mind the prayer I had made on the previous evening, and was touched to the bottom of my soul by the deli- cacy and love which there was in this proceed- ing. I even wept a few sweet tears when my husband entered the chamber. I expressed tenderly to him the emotion his conduct had caused me, and then chid him for preserving these sad thoughts of death. '' Yesterday j^ou have learnt," he said to me, '^ on how slight a thread hangs life ; it caused me, alas ! to reflect, that if I died suddenly, my fortune would not come to you j even your own would perhaps be compromised by a ruinous participation in commerce. What I have during my life is yours, and shall be yours after my death. Now I am tranquil ; but to avoid discussion, or complete quarrel with my mother and my sister, I ask you to preserve the greatest secrecy touching this proof of my affection for you." I promised this to him, and determined also to make a will, but without mentioning it to MADAME LAFARGE. 189 him ; for I feared I might wound him by ap- pearing rather to follow his example than obey the dictates of my own heart. I had never executed a deed of this nature, and knew no more of law than that which suffices to marry us. I should consequently have been much embarrassed in making my will, had I not thought of copying the text of those parts in the will of M. Lafarge, which seemed to ren- der our testaments valid in the eyes of the law. But I could not imitate his generous donation. My affection to my sister, and the aunt-like love I already felt for the little child she was about to present us both, rendered it impossible for me wholly to abandon all my fortune. I therefore left all that I possessed to M. Lafarge, with the liberty of employing it as he chose, without limit or restriction, during his life, but with an obligation that it should be re- stored after his death as a dowry for my sister's eldest daughter. I also disposed of all the little jewels which were dear to me in legacies to those who loved me ; and not knowing whom I could charge with these last wishes, that they might not be annulled or frustrated, but be religiously observed, I entrusted with their 190 MEMOIRS OF execution Madame Lafarge, who swore not to mention the subject to her son, but to pre- serve it secret and sealed until her death or mine. My mother-in-law appeared pleased and touched with what I had done, and thanked me a thovisand times for the provident affection I displayed for her son. I was not yet quite convalescent, when one of my labourers came to make me a present of a basket of apples, beautiful enough to have lineally descended from the first apple of creation. M. Lafarge was desirous of using this beautiful fruit for an exhibition of his dexterity; and after a few pretty passes M'ith them, managed to throw tlie largest apple through a window, \^'hich he broke in shivers. I should easily have consoled myself for this destruction by laughing at the appalled vaility of M. Lafarge ; but the weather was cold and damp, and I found the contact of the air did my convalescent head very little good. I sent to Uzerche for a glazier — he was ill ; another resided at Lubersac — he was gathering his vintage : at last I was resigning myself with some ill-humour to the base necessity of sub- mitting to a paper square, when it came into MADAME LAFARGE. 191 my head to employ one of Madame de Leau- taud's diamonds for the purpose of cutting a large sheet of glass which I had preserved in a cabinet, and which might thus replace the broken pane. In an instant I went to seek the little reti- cule which contained them, and was drawing one of the little diamonds out, when M. Lafarge entered, and, finding me thus occupied, began to interrogate me as to the when, the why, and the how, after the usual fashion of our lords and masters. To my great concern, instead of attending to my new trade, I was obliged to relate him a history, in which I had to conceal some things and explain many others — in short, to make a Limousin husband under- stand that there are delicacies which proliibit the betrayal, even to him, of the name of a compromised and trusting friend. M. Lafarge would not only see the useful diamond, but also all the others which were in the reticule. He weighed them, estimated them, sought their value in his books on metallurgy. In short, I liad exhausted all my patience, when, to increase my misfortune, in came Madame 192 MEMOIRS OF Lafarge, and he made her admire the histre of all the little gems which lay glittering in the sun. '• Oh," cried she, "• how beautiful ! and how valuable they must be ! Tell me, Marie, who gave them to you? Why do you not use Ihem ? Why have you said nothing about them to me ? It is quite a treasure !" I an- swered rather harshly, that it was no treasure of mine. Then came a tliousand other ques- tions ; and M. Lafarge seeing that I reddened with impatience, took away his mother, and made me a sign to ])e silent. I should have been miserable at my indiscretion and impru- dence, had I not felt that sooner or later it M-ould have been indispensable that I should confide tlie matter to my husband, that the diamonds might be returned to Madame de Leautaud, or sold, and the money sent to M. Clave. The concurrence of M. Lafarge would have been to me both a moral and material necessity. When M. Lafarge returned to me, he ap- peared delighted. " Come \" said he, " be content; for I man- aged the matter delightfully. I have made MADAME LAFARGE. 193 4iiy mother believe that the diamonds are yours ; but that you did not wish tiiem seen until you hact sufficient to form [x liarure." ^^Such a tale is beyond belief!" ^'My mother believed it, however, very easily ; but j'ou know nothing of business. When one is engaged in commerce, we must throw dust in the eyes of the world ; and the richer I make you out, the richer shall I be- come/' '' I must confess to you, that I do not much desire a fortune gained by such means." " I do not ask you to employ them ; leave me to do so alone." " At least let me entreat you to prevent Madame Lafarge from hawking yoz^r diamond- story." ^' My mother will do what I wish her ; she was thunderstruck when I told her they Avere worth 30,000 francs.'^ *^ I wonder at your exaggeration, when you know they are scarcely worth 6000." After we had used the diamond to cut the glass with, 1 found it useless to replace it and the others in their reticule ; and I enclosed them iji a box, that M. Lafarge might deposit for VOL,. II. K 194 MEMOIRS OF security in his strong room. Not daring to put tlic name of Madame de Leautaud upon the box, I wrote thereon that of Lecointe, an honest man, Marie's jeweller, to whom we might have entrusted the secret, in case of absolute necessity. MADAME LAFARGE. 195 CHAPTER XV. SixcE I had first learnt to ride, I had dreamt of and desired a grey mare, light and swift as the vapoury clouds which run over the heaven after the storm. What, then, were my joy and my gratitude, when a delightful attention came one day to realise the fairy dream of ten years ! In accompanying M. Lafarge on a visit to some woods, in the neighbourhood of the Pom- padour breeding-stables, we met a good priest, lamenting on the way-side the kicking ingrati- tude of his horse, whose saintly education had never been able to subdue its capricious hu- mour — who found a malicious pleasure in try- ing the patience, of compromising the gravity as well as the skull, of its venerable master. The malignant little animal, freed from her rider and her saddle, neighed and leaped with joy, letting the wind play with her mane, or browsed k2 196 MEMOIRS OF disdainfully the flowers of some blooming hay ; then approaching her poor victim with pre- tended modesty, she gave him hope of catching her bridle, and then escaped again, to indulge in her wild gallops, her kicks, and her bound- ings. This scene amused me ; I own, to my shame^ I had more sympathy for the M'ild rebel than pity for her respectable owner. And I was still thinking of her, when, on the morrow, as I awoke, M. Lafarge announced to me that he had pm'chased the cure's pretty mare ; and that it was mine, certainly mine, and mine alone. I leapt out of bed to give a welcome and provender to my new companion; and as they told me she had Arab blood in her veins, I bap- tised her with the name of Arabska. It was a charming animal, not four years old, of an elegant colour, with gazelle-like feet, and a character original, capricious, and very inde- pendent. I entered with pleasure on the task of breaking her in. At first she tried to throw me ; but seeing I laughed at her vain en- deavours, and preferring my caresses to my whip, she began to love and to obey me like a lamb. Our tastes were the same : not knowinsr MADAME LAFARGE. 197 how to go at a moderate or equal pace^ some- times she shot a\^ay like an arrow^ sometimes crawled along ^^■ith nonchalance, watching the butterflies as they flew, or listening to the voice of the breeze. Sometimes lively and bold, when she perceived an obstacle her eyes flashed, and she turned towards me to implore from me the order to brave it ; at other times timid and fearful, she trembled at a bird or her own shadow, and was only reassured on hearing my voice, or feeling my hand as it played with her mane ; then \vould she neigh with a singular expression of pride and joy. Arabska, in enabling me to go abroad at all times, also enabled me to go much further from home; and, thanks to her, I was enabled to admire the noble and proud stallions of the Pompadour stables. In that establishment, the racers, selected for their beauty, after hav- ing been slaves, become tyrants, and make tri- butary to their well-being the arms, the time, and the understanding of many men consecrated to these animals by the goven^ment. They had told me I should find some gen- tlemanly officers at Pompadour : I confess that I took small pains to assure me of the fact. 198 MEMOIRS OF charmed and interested as I was by the truly chivalrous tenants of that sweet retreat. Another of my excursions conducted me to an aunt of M. Lafarge, whose talents, under- standing, and writings, they had often men- tioned to me with pride. In person she was little, invariably shadovred by a huge green and yellow hat, as poetical as an omelette aux fines herbes. !My aunt received me with two learned kisses, the most beautiful of all phrases, and said gravely to a sub-lieutenant of in- fantry of sixty, whom she held by the hand, — "Dearest, bow to this amiable niece, who comes into our deserts like the dove of the ark, bearing a branch of myrtle instead of a branch of olive. Panzani, my love, embrace your niece — she allows it — and then go and gather her a rose. He does not understand a word of French — he is a Corsican," she said to me in a whisper ; " but if he speaks ill, he knows well how to love. Our marriage was quite a ro- mance. He was dying M'ith love for me, and my bcwiklered heart sacrificed on the altar of Hymen a life that I liad determined on conse- crating to the chaste sisters of Apollo.'' Madame Panzani was silent ; I found time MADAME LAFARGE. 199 to breathe, take off my hat, and we seated our- selves at the table. Her dejeuner was most learned ; all the dishes of which it consisted had been made after historical receipts. The Jews, Greeks, and Romans, had been consulted for our first course ; the Cuisimer Imperial, the Cuisinier Royal, the (kdsiniere Bourgeolse, the Maison Rustique, and the Journal des Connais- sances utiles, had presided over her entremets ; and-lastly, the entire dessert had been composed after secrets borrowed from nuns of the middle -ages, wives of directors of the grand siecle, and young unmarried ladies of the age we live in. M. Lafarge, who had business at Brives, pro- posed to me to remain a day at La Cote. I acceded with pleasure ; and Madame Panzani was all kindness to me. She shewed me her mulberry-trees, approved and applauded by an agricultural committee ; her monstrous pota- toes, which were to fatten the future ages of Limousin ; her beet-roots, which were to sweeten them ; and her gooseberry-wine, which was to intoxicate them. In addition, she told me that M. Gauthier d'Uzerche studied her pru- neaux composes, with the intention of submit- ting them to the taste of the Chamber of Depu- 200 MEMOIRS OF tieSj and that two academicians had congratu- lated her on the cultivation of her sorrel — Panzani-muli'ifoUa} On returning from our promenade, my aunt talked exclusively of literature and history. Bewailing the indolence of our writers, she drew' out of her cabinet a mountain of manu- scripts, and said she wished to consult me on a history of France before the deluge, which she intended bestowing on her country. In effect, having put on her spectacles, hemmed, and cleared her throat modestly, she instructed me for four hours on the deeds and actions of our antediluvian kings. What erudition ! ! ! I was stupified, appalled at my ignorance, and I trembled for our grand- children at this additional amount of history to learn. Pharamond, how I execrated thee ! After having given us so many silly descendants, have you actually the impudence to pretend to ancestors, and to make us sicken and yawn over the fathers of the fathers of your fathers ? Madame Panzani's castle was situated in a lovely position — the mountains of the Saillant — the meadows watered by the Vezere — the vine- MADAME LAFARGE. 201 yards and rich corn-fields stretched out beneath the little terrace. The interior of the house displays an artistical disorder and originality. Books encumbered the tables and chairs : some dried on their learned leaves simples, champignons, and pears ; fruits of every kind were confectioning in glass bottles ; and the inkstand also fulfilled the function of a salt- cellar. Under a portrait of Napoleon hung M. Panzani's martial shako, which, in its discreet lining concealed the false hair, curl- papers, and pearl powder of the female author. While the sabre, which was formerly used in combat with the Bedouin, served as a support for superb bmiches of grapes and bunches of morilla cherries. During the evening T passed at La Cote we had a dreadful storm. Madame Panzani, in aftright, assembled her labourers around her, set them all praying on their knees, and commanded her little servant to sing, M-ith all the strength of his lungs, the psalms of la ■penitence ; while she busied her- self in counting her rosary, sometimes stop- ping to conceal her fear in the bosom of her old and unconcerned beloved one. When the 202 MEMOIRS OF s thunder raged most heavily, the ch&telaine M'ould call to her little saboted groom — " Baptistou, my darling ! sing thy complainte cVAlger." And then, turning towards her spouse, she murmured to him, '• Then you were in all your glory, my duck ; you forgot love." If a flash called her back to her terrors, she M'ould cry — '^ Quick, Baptistou ; sing your psalm again/^ And Baptistou shouted saintly with the tem- pest ; the labourers prayed ; and the rosary passed through her fingers rapidly. On the next day, when I was dressing, I took a decanter of M'ater from the chimney- piece, drank a glass of it, and was about to use the rest in my ablutions, when Madame Panzani entered my chamber, and recoiled in affright. "Oh, good God!" she cried, "you have swallowed all my hol\- water. You have pro- faned it : perhaps you have even defiled it with your cheeks ! Lord Jesus ! if it be an invo- luntary sacrilege, have mercy on us !" And MADAME LAFARGE. 203 while lamenting thus, she poured back her holy water piously into its saintly vessel ; and I had great difficulty to make her understand that, instead of being damned, I ought to be purified and blessed. 204 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER XYI. My rides and my visitor did not cause me to forget the forge. I went there incessantly. The founders were proud to initiate me into the slightest details of their art ; and when^the fruit-sellers of the bus Limousin came there with their mules loaded witli melons, peaches, and grapes, I used to buy all their charge for a few sous, and distribute it among these poor parched people, made thirsty by the furnace of their little hell. Almost every evening, at ten, M. Lafarge inimoored the boat, and Me went to assist at the casting of the font. It was poetically beautiful to see the flames light, with an in- fernal radiance, the rocks against which the lofty furnace was erected, and the meadows that stretched out at their feet. In that half light the willows were transformed into weep- MADAME LAFAKGE. 205 ing nymphs, the poplars into giants ; and tlie limes were changed into sylphs^, who danced to the song of the crickets. In the hall, the master-founder gave his orders in a sonorous voice, whilst his panting and hun*ied assistants managed the fire, skimmed the dross from the surface of the melted mass, and then, at a sig- nal given by him, lifting the barrier, let the ocean of fire meander through the canals opened in the sand. Thousands of blue sparks rose from those burning streams, and leapt and died away in the darkness, then glittered again and vanished, leaving the forge in silence and in shadow. We usually returned to the house conversing together. M. Lafarge, who kept me a stranger to the state of his aff"airs, imparted to me alone his ideas as to their improvement; and in par- ticular spoke to me of an important discovery which he believed he had made, the results of which occupied him night and day. Having studied, to please him, and in order to under- stand him, the large '' Iron-master's Manual,'* I was enabled to encourage and approve him, and to indulge reasonable pride in seeing him quit the dull path of routine, and take to the 206 MEMOIRS OF noble one of improvement and progress. His discovery was this : — According to the common method, the metal fused by the action of fire is poured into sand- moulds, and forms on cooling thick bars of smelted ore, technically called "gueuses.'" These (jueuses, in order to be reduced to a metallic state, are a second time fused by heat; by which means the metallic particles are freed from impure gases and dross, and then col- lected into a large ball (called technically a '' loiqje "), which the forging hammers, plied by machinery, shape into angles, rods, pigs, &c. Abandoning this antiquated plan, M. Lafarge wished to cause the liquid ore to flow directly into the refining furnace, destined to reduce the pigs once smelted into a second state of fusion, and thus effect a saving of time, labour, and the charcoal employed in renielting the f/iccuses ; reducing, in short, the expenses one- third by this new method. I thought the pro- cess so simple, so easily adopted, and so pre- ferable to the old one, that I concluded it must be already practised in other mining districts, and was only unknown in remote Limousin. I might, however, have convinced myself of MADAME LAFARGE» 20/ the contrary by perusing the latest treatises ou the manufacture of iron. Then I feared it must be indispensable to smelt the ore twice in order to obtain iron of good quality ; and M. Lafarge promised to make an experiment in hopes of destroying the only doubt I had left. I was not learned enough to comprehend the chemical explanations^ which only bewil- dered without convincing me ; and, in honovir of my incredulity, I exacted the substitution of practice for theory. Tlie experiment was exceedingljr difficult to make. It was necessary to bear a whole day's impatient alternations of hopes and fears; and when, towards evening, M. Lafarge brought me in triumph a superb sample of iron, I shared his emotion, and congratulated him A^itli much joy and pride. My husband communicated his important discovery, in vague and general terms, to his brother-in-law; and as he did not speak of it to his clerks, I remained his only confidant. While all about us were asleep, I wrote, at his dictation, the results of his study and research. He imparted to me a perfect knowledge of the meaning of the technical terms, and then en- 208 MEMOIRS OF trusted to me the final preparation of the essay he proposed to submit to the minister to obtain a patent of invention. Although this new method was very simple, its execution demanded great care, an extensive knowledge of metallurgy, familiarity with the process of iron-smelting, and a considerable advance of capital. M. Lafarge, a lover of his trade from his childhood, united to fifteen years of constant practice and hard study an unconquerable pei'severance, proof against all obstacles. The first difficulties could be easily conquered with time and labour ; the last was not, however, so easy to overcome. I was told that a loan in that poor country, destitute of immediate coimexion with the Paris bankers, was impossible. I knew that in order to sell my estates in Villers-Hellon, as I proposed to my husband, there must be first made a parti- tion amongst minors — a tedious process. This difficulty of the immediate want of ready money embarrassed and worried me, and seemed insu- perable ; until M. Lafarge having told me that he was willing to pay a high interest and share the profits upon a loan, the investment appeared to me sufficiently advantageous to authorise my MADAME LAFARGE. 209 application to my family and friends to render ns a service, and at the same time benefit them- selves. When, after these very serious conversations, M. Laftn-ge reduced his projects to figures, — an occupation in M'hich I was unable to assist him, confessing, to my shame, that I had never known how to count, except on my fingers, — I sat by castle-building — dreaming, in short, of a journey to Paris. Ten years were requix'ed to execute all our plans and bring them into full operation. During each of those years we were to spend only one month in Paris ; but, on the other hand, I was to be enabled to effect all sorts of improvement in our old mansion ; I was to receive my friends and my family; I should have a daughter, or perhaps even a son, whom I would educate a VAnrjlaise, who should learn German, English, and Italian in his cradle, &c. After these ten years of reason, we were to engage trustworthy at- tendants and clerks to take charge of the bu- siness, while we passed alternately six months in Paris and six at Glandier. We would travel ; I should marry my daughter; my son Avould be diplomatically employed ; and M. Lafarge, 210 MEMOIRS OF elected deputy, would extend even into La Correze sparks of civilisation and progress. This career of industry and train of smiling future projects engaged my mind too absolutely for me to feel the void of my imagination, and I began to taste happiness in the common worldly acceptation of the Mord. I was become the friend and private counsellor of M. Lafarge, who was full of esteem and confidence, and paid me the most affectionate attentions. Too busy to be in love, he no longer required the ardent and impassioned speeches which I had never knowii how to speak — no longer exacted love wdth the law in his hand and the despot- ism of a creditor ; and had, in short, become an excellent brother, whom I hoped in future to love a little more as a huslmnd. After the departure of M. Buffiere, ]M. La- farge sent to Paris for a head-clerk, whom he vaunted as a prodigy — why I could never dis- cover. This was a young man named Denis, of rude manners, insidious voice, and sinister looks. I was astonished when, on accidentally asking him what forge-masters he had served, he replied that disastrous banking speculations having deprived him of his fortune, had driven MADAME LAFARGE. 211 hhn to accept a situation at a restaurant's, and that lie had never studied any other busi- ness. My vexation at the incredible heed- lessness that had apparently dictated a choice of such importance, was such that I could not forbear reproaching M. Lafarge for neglect : but he assured me, in reply, that he had long known the inflexible honesty and unconquer- able perseverance and activity of this man, and that his ignorance of the manufacture was of no importance, as his only business was to superintend and keep the books. Though he could not convince me, he conquered part of my repugnance to M. Denis. I am ignorant whether my prejudices in- fected my husband, but he determined not to entrust his hopes of a patent to his head-clerk ; and he waited till the last minute before dicta- ting to him his essay, my handwriting being too illegible, in its independence, to be presented to a minister. As for Madame Lafarge, she seemed to estimate the new-comer still more highly than her son, constantly inviting him to dine and spend the evening with us. It was, however, so revolting to me to meet so fre- quently at table a vulgar and ill-bred man, who 212 MEMOIRS OF could only be made to behave himself by being- kept at a haughty distance, that I entreated my husband to request his mother to restrain the number of her invitations to M. Denis ; and Madame Lafarge, resigning herself to en- tertain her protege in the inaccessible fastness of her own room, never forgave me for having contrived his banishment from the drawing- room. MADAME LAFARGE. 213 CHAPTER XVII. Towards the end of October I experienced a great joy, — that of receivmg, for the first time, a member of my family ; the delight of extend- ing hospitality to a beloved friend. My poor Glandier was yet inhabitable only in my dreams ; still I did all that was humanly pos- sible to render it agreeable to my guests. I studied to make them forget what was want- ing, by anticipating their habits, tastes, and wishes ; and unable in my mountain-solitude to surprise or delight them by city luxuries, I provided for them good fires, lov^ely flowers, and smiling faces. After having travelled post over rocks, ra- vines, and deserts, whose soil had never been trodden save by foot of mule, M. and Ma- dame de Sabatie arrived in the middle of the 214 MEMOIRS OF iiiglitj half-dead with fatigue, hunger, and jolting; after having entered the black gorge of Glan- dier as the nioutli of the infernal regions, and fairly resigned themselves to go to the devil with cheerful hearts. AVhen I found myself again in my cousin's arms, after the exchange of innumerable kisses, questions, and inquiring looks, my happy past seemed mingling with my future, and her pre- sence seemed to convert my solitude into a home. The power of the aftections is bound- less : tlie enjoyments of life, its insupportable griefs, have their source in them; and I con- ceive that the joys of heaven can only consist in the empire of the affections, purified of the alloy of egotism and indifference that debases them on earth. ]\Iy cousin was suffering from fatigue ; and apprehensive of a miscarriage. The days im- mediately following her arrival were therefore devoted to perfect repose and interminable conversations. What volumes we had to tell one another ! Countless indispensable restric- tions between a young wife and a single wo- man had hitherto prevented this intimate ex- MADAME LAFARGE. 215 change of thoughts, so sweet when completely reciprocal and entirely unreserved. She told me the story of her marriage,- — how in six weeks she had seen, loved, adored M. de Sabatie ; how she had found a lover in her husband ; how im- measurably the joys of reality had surpassed those of her maiden dreams. I related, in return, what had led, as a termi- nation to my romantic and poetical imaginings, to an interested and worldly match, in which I had not consulted my heart. I told her the magnificence of the corbeille ; described the noble expedients employed to shut my eyes till the solemnisation of the "marriage ; then my awakening from my dream, my terror, the nervous grief that had closed " the hap- piest day of my life'^ — the journey, my disap- pointments, my letter to M. Lafarge and its frightful falsehoods, my despair, my treaty — M. Lafarge's generous conduct, my quiet actual life, and happiness from morning till night. My cousin was in ecstacies at my account — overwhelmed me with questions, bantering, and encouragement; and eventually went the length, in her indiscreet jo}-, of talking to M. Lafarge 216 MEMOIRS OF of my letter, arguing the impossibility of its alleged facts of accusation, and ridiculing the credulity which had rendered him a complete dupe to the stratagem inspired by my maidenly terror, and the sight of my kingdom in ruins. She absolutely wished to read the terrible letter; but M. Lafarge having told her that it was burnt, she was compelled to satisfy herself with some of its more striking passages with which mj' memory supplied me. This little confidence, at my expense, established a strong intimacy between my husband and Madame de Sabatie. He was pleased, and put no bounds to his confidence in his new relative, who ap- plied to him for all information that I refused to afford her, and, in return, completely tran- quillised his jealousy of the past. With one word I could have stopped my cousin's amiable levity ; but intoxicated by her love and happiness, she might not easily have understood me, and I was averse to a full dis- closure. Painful experience is necessary to understand that the heart, once set bleeding by the shock of the deceptions of life, although it may manifest the outward calmness of in- difference, the wound inflicted is always pain- I MADAME LAFARGE. 217 fill at intervals, and can never be effectually healed. Often, at the sight of the impassioned affec- tion of my cousin and her Edward, I felt with sorrow the scaffolding of happiness and reason that I had raised about my heart give way. They sometimes added to the enjoyment of their love the pleasures awakened in them by beauteous skies, the face of natui'e, music and poetry. When I beheld their hearts thus beat in unison, with the same emotion and the same enthusiasm, to repress my tears I "was com- pelled to smile, and ridicule a happiness that I could not help envying in secret. Tliese days of union fled as swiftly as they were agreeably spent. We took long walks, and had longer conversations. I in- vited to parties the most pleasant of our neighbours, to procure my fair cousin the pleasure of being admired, to amuse her by the sight of our country fribbles, and provide food for mirth during our long evenings. Ma- clame de Sabatie was satisfied and pleased with all she saw ; she exerted herself to please in return, and even achieved the conquest of my mother-in-law. Six months' sojourn at VOL. II. L. 218 MEMOIRS OF Thoulouse had made her understand the A^ay of life and manners of the country ; Avhere a happy population, behind the progress of the century and the march of intellect, believe that virtue, good taste, and propriety, exist only amongst them, and would regard as a revolu- tion the least inroad upon their solitudes of enlightened civic refinement. Soon to pleasures succeeded long and serious business-interviews. M. de Sabatie had re- ceived with his wife an estate near Thoulouse, worth, I believe, about three hundred thousand francs. Xe^er quitting Paris, he was desirous of disposing of a property which suffered in his absence, and of investing the proceeds with a view to the augmentation of his income. M. Lafarge pi'oposed to him that he should lend tlie money on a mortgage of his works ; he shewed him a statement of his position, similar to the one that had served as basis to our mar- riage-deed, and made him visit the fair and extensive domains, which he gave us all to understand, and v,-hich I believed, to belong to Glandier. Finally, he divulged to him his dis- cover}', his hopes of a patent, and his gigantic project for the extension of his affairs. MADAME LAFARGE. 219 My husband then proceeded to explain his want of a considerable advance of capital, in- dispensable in a country where all advantage- ous purchases are made for ready monej^ ; re- presenting that nothing would be more easy than to raise a loan on mortgage in Paris, but that he was desirous of making one of my family participate the advantages of the invest- ment ; and offering to borrow two hundred thousand francs of Edward, at an interest of five per cent, and to give him, besides, a share in the profits of the projected improvement. He promised him, further, a salary of, I be- lieve, ten thousand francs, to superintend the works which would be conducted in Paris bj^ his clerks. While our two husbands were calculating and making estimates, my cousin and I in- dulged delightful anticipations of those parts of the scheme that would affect our pleasures. She was to spend every summer with me at Glandier, and in the winter we were to dwell together in Paris ; our pleasures were to be in common, and, our tastes being identical, our enjoyment would be doubled. It was decided that M. Lafarge should set l2 220 MEMOIRS OF out at the same time as M. de Sabatie; that the latter should introduce him to some per- sons of influence at the ministry of commerce ; that they should finally settle the terms of their jiartnership in Paris ; and that if Edward should be unable to find at once a purchaser for his estate, he should furnish, from his wife's por- tion, funds for the most urgent expenses. My cousin wished to take me with her, anticipating the joy of my famih' and friends at mj' unexpected return to spend six weeks among them. My husband also pressed me to accompany him ; he was unwilling to lea\'e me in solitude, and expected that I should be of assistance to him in the steps he would have to take to obtain his patent. I, however, re- sisted their entreaties : I overcame my own desire to accompany them, determined to deck my spousal wreath v.'ith one first flo\\er of reason and wisdom. The alleged motive of my refusal was the ab- solute necessity of my presence to superintend the business left in the hands of strange and unskilled clerks, and my M^ish to employ 'all the money I should have expended on the journey in embellishing my poor little home MADAME LAFARGE. 221 of Glandier : neither was my real motive less praiseworthy. Scarcely accustomed to my de- sert, I was unwilling to quit it before having introduced improvements which should endear it to me. I was not desirous of entering so- ciety with ^1. Lafarge. to expose him to com- parisons unfavourable to him and sad and mor- tifying to myself; I wished to re-enter it only protected by a confiding and solid affection. Fortified against myself, my resolution was unalterable ; and I tranquilly awaited the ap- proaching day of departure and separation. Still it was a sorrowful day when it came. I accompanied them to Uzerche ; and seated alone with my cousin in the carriage, 1 charged her with affectionate messages and tokens of remembrance for the dear and regretted friends whom she was shortly to meet. I looked at her long and stedfastly, in order to carry back her image into my solitude ; in her I beheld all my family, all my friends, all my past. I em- braced her to conceal the agitation that shook me ; I spoke to her loudly and rapidly to dis- tract my thoughts, to arrest the Avords of ten- derness that rose to her lips, and that would have overpowered me if spoken. My husband 222 MEMOIRS OF had permitted us to set out unaccompanied, at the instance of his mother, who had last and confidential communications to make to him previously to his departure. When he rejoined us near Vigeois, his sorrow at parting was so loud, and his promises, advice, and exactions so clamorous, that he almost made me forget my own grief and resign myself to the separation. When, having reached Uzerche, and bidden them finallj- adieu, I beheld their carriage dis- appear, I found it impossible to return to my apartment, and felt a choking sensation ; and desiring one of my cousins to saddle his horse and my own, I galloped after the carriage, and reached it out of breath by the exertion. I was received with cries of surprise and joy; my friends would have made me accompany them in spite of my reason, but I spurred Arabska into a gallop, to avoid hearing their persuasions ; and feeling my resolution restored by the cool breeze and the rapiditj- of my flight, after following them some time with my eyes, and waving with my hand a last adieu, I returned to Uzerche, without daring to turn my head for fear of yielding to the temptation of departing with the happy travellers. MADAME LAFARGE. 223 M. Lafarge had made me promise not to re- turn immediately to Glandier, but to pay a week^s visit to a family of his acquaintance living at a pretty seat not far from Uzerche. The duty of concealing my grief, and tearing myself from my reminiscences to please my hostSj at the same time that it cost me much pain, gradually restored my reason and resolu- tion. I was welcomed with a cordialitj' which I then Ijelieved was sincere, but which was, in truth, nothing more than a speculation, and an investment of hospitality intended to return, for the winter evenings, a profitable revenue of commentaries, tattle, and scandal. In this country, generally speaking, tliere is no study to give a visitor pleasure by flattering his habits and tastes ; the only study is to dis- cover his failings, with a view to gratify, at his expense, the rampant love of gossip and slander tliat rules predominant in society. I am at a loss to understand the pleasure taken in at- tacking the private life, honour, and character of a poor inoffensive guest coming in search of sympathy or amusement. Societ}' — which is ^nly an interchange of superficial sentiments. 224 MEMOIRS OF ill -which we seek iiot to express our real thoughts, but to which we fly to forget them — society ought not to pass judgment but on that part of ourselves which we yield to it as an exchange for the poor pleasures it bestows. To raise the veil of private life, to spy out the mysteries of the heart, in order to pro- claim them to the M'orld, is a cowardly profan- ation of social intercourse — is oftentimes an in- famous crime. Surely society itself ofters a sufficiently vast field for ridicule in its paraded vices and vanities. Why not laugh at the pretended man of wisdom courting an eulo- gium ? at the old coquette who would have us discover grace and beauty in the wrinkles of her painted brow ? Whj^ not laugh to shame the prudes, the hypocrites, and unap- preciated spirits, who, at every^turn, drag their weakness into the sun ? Laugh at these, cen- sors ; for their vices are born of j-ou and for you, and the tribunal which they declare com- petent to flatter is still better fitted to unmask them, and hold them up to ridicule. But I am digressing, though not far, from my subject. To return to the family at F * * *. Madame D * * * I found to be a good-natured. MADAME LAFARGE. 225 kind creature, troubled with indigestion. M. D * * ■'*, a rude boor, who cultivated his fields and suffered his mind to lie fallow, was an ill- tempered and dissatisfied being, only admiring nature in his fattest cattle. Several of their children were mari-ied : the only two at the farm were a daughter, ravenously fond of bread and butter, and a most agricvdtural son, who, after confirming his clownishness by a few months' residence in Paris, had married a fresh-coloured maiden, chosen for her weight by his father, and who had been educated, accomplished, and fattened at Limoges. In the bosom of this seeminglj^ kind and affectionate family, I spent several quiet and happy days. In the morning I cut patterns, and gave instructions in millinery to the women-folk, and, to their unspeakable stupe- faction, unfolded the u-ovel mysteries of my trousseau ; then I used to ^^'alk out v.ith Ma- dame D * * *, admiring her fine fruit-trees, and the excellent order and economy of her house- hold arrangements. I listened to her with in- terest, and sought to profit by her example and lessons. In the evenings I kept all the family dancing, while I played waltzes, quadi-illes, l5 226 MEMOIRS OF and bourrees, on an old spinet that liad sur- vived the orgies of the regency, the tempests of the revolution, and the conquests of Napo- leon — M-hich had resounded to Vive Henri Qua- tre under the restoration, to the Pai'isienne after the three glorious days, and under my lingers vibrated with the melodies of the Pos- tilion de Lonyjumeau. Retired to my room, I passed part of the night Meriting to iVI. Lafarge. His absence had left a void in my heart ; and the privation of his affectionate cares taught me their full value. The pleasures of life do not consist alone in the affections be- stowed, but also in those received ; and the countrj', however remote, in which one is loved, cannot long remain a land of exile. I was tenderly affected day by day at the reception of impassioned letters from M. La- farge. In vain I sought in my esteem traces of passion answering to liis own ; I felt indig- nant, and almost despised myself for the in- sensibility of my heart; and when I recalled to mind all the words of love, the noble disin- terestedness, and the affectionate confidence of my husband, I rejoiced in the use of tender ex- pressions which, received at a distance, would MADAME LAFARGE. 227 caiisole him for my absence. In truth, when the night is not feared, — the long, dull night, so wearisome to those bound by law to love, — it is very easy to convert friendship, esteem, and gratitude, into a sincere and tender passion, I spent a week at F * * * ; and left it laden with messages and commissions for ]\I. Lafarge. Every one was desirous of making and receiving presents for the approaching new year. Tlie gentlemen ordered pins ; the ladies bracelets and dresses. M. Gabriel D '^^ -'' *, resolving to unite the useful and the agreeable — at once to improve the heart, mind, and manners of his young wife, — sent for a complete copy of all Paul de Kock's novels ! There is a' mania for commissions in the country ; and the belief prevails that all w^ho depart for the capital are the proper commis- sioners of their relations, friends, and acquaint- ance, to bring them up to the fashions of the day by the outlay of a few centimes. An old aunt wants the strongest and finest cambric- muslin at fifteen sous an ell, — it cannot be dearer, since her newspaper advertises calico at the same price ; a female cousin is desirous of having a black Lyons silk dress of the finest 228 MEMOIRS OF quality at two francs nineteen sons a yard 5 while a young niece, who knows that bonnets arc to be had at fifteen francs, wishes to have one at that price made by Mademoiselle Baud- rand, whose style she has heard praised by the prefect's lady. Previously to my return to Glandier, I stopped at Uzerche to intrigue for a few votes in favour of my imcle Pontier, who Avished to be named member of the co as eil general of his languishing department, aiid become its doctor, that he might prescribe for its moral diseases of overflow of stupidity and chronic barbarism. I could only console him under defeat, and save him from a patriotic desperation which Mould have impelled him heroically to destroy him- self. I then proceeded to Vigeois, where M. and Madame Fleyniat detained me a day or two, to introduce me to the circle which con- stituted their little town the most elegant and animated in the department. Having been crammed with all the gossip of the place, I was bliewn the lions ; but by an unlucky fa- tality, or a deplorable want of discernment,^ the " amiable" ladies all seemed to me eaten up with pretension, affectation, and silliness j MADAME L.AFARGE. 22& while I was charmed by the kind and graceful hospitality extended to me by Madame Nauche, who won my interest by her lovely features and the chain of slanderous stories I had been told^ to prejudice me against her. 230 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER XVIII. After this erratic life, I was delighted to return to my own quiet solitude, and enjoy the privilege of being merry without cause, or sad without having to give a reason. I would have employed myself in business, in the pur- <.'hase of wood, and the regulation of the paj-- ments to be made and received by the house ; ])ut seeing that my mother-in-law had com- pletely engrossed these duties, performing them mysteriously in secret conferences with M. Denis, I willingly resigned to her the more embarrassing and responsible part she had taken upon herself, and gave all my at- tention to the forges, which interested me, and Avhich I understood. I therefore spent several hours every day at the works, impelled by a two-fold motive. The foreman of the smelters, an intelligent MADAME LAFARGE. 231 and trustworthy young maiij who was strongly attached to me, was the professed admirer of my faithful Clementine, and appeared to please her sufficiently well to make me think of fusing them : I became the young artisan's confidante, and learned that, besides inexhaustible and burning love, he possessed fifteen thousand francs and a profitable trade. Clementine would have preferred in her husband a little more wit and breeding than fell to the lot of her worthy Limousin adorer ; in admiring his person, she lamented the Gothic cut of his coat. But upon my promising to polish him, she con- sented to reflect, and not repulse the love prof- fered by my protege : and it was settled that in the spring Antonio should formally make his proposals :-and that, with the aid of divine Pro- vidence, I should do my best to promote a wedding, and make two fond lovers happy. The masons proceeded with their work under my directions ; and the miners, in levelling the terrace, alighted upon some old armour and remams of sculpture, which pleasingly initiated me into the joys of the antiquary. In the fine weather I had Arabska saddled, and taught her new steps and curvets on the 232 MEMOIRS OF turf in the meadow. When it was verv fine. I took long rides in unknown directions, en- joying the pleasure, when we lost ourselves, of a laugh at the expense of my Parisian attendant's terror; for he heard no poetry in the howling of wolves at sundown, and pre- ferred the high road to steep ravines untrodden by the foot of man or horse. This servant, the son of a former coachman of my father, was too careful of his neck to indulge the emotion of conquering an almost insurmountable dif- ficulty ; and veiling his cowardice beneath his attachment to me, implored me not to expose mj^ life in risking his, with an eloquence pro- portioned to the imminence of the danger. After a few hours spent in company with Madame Lafarge, I seated myself in the evening at my piano. Sometimes I sang in merry mood the satirical arias of the '• Barber of Seville ;" and at othei's wept through "Norma'' or Mozart's '' Requiem,'' or the musical throes of Schubert; or with the ^^ Huguenots" and *^ Semiramis," I became excited, and practised enthusiastically till the wan and cheerless rays of a December sun entered the apartment. I sent every day to Uzerche for the letters. MADAME LAFARGE. 233 What pleasure equals the intimate exchange of thoughts, the reception of the ray of affec- tion or love sent from afar to soothe in the heart the pangs of absence ? In my opinion letters should be received as one would receive the absent writers — tete-a-tete, and comfortably seated by the fireside. Oh, the delight of a long look at the seal, previously to breaking it in haste ; of the first kiss it tenders, and the last, which is ever the sweetest ; of a deliberate reperusal of every word and sentence ; of a careful consideration of what you are told, and, above all, of what you are not told, and what is perhaps intentionally suppressed ; of parti- cipating joy, sorrow, or indignation ; and of imprinting all into your soul, that you may live of the life that comes to mix with yours in defiance of time and space. With these ideas, I was every morning tor- tured by my mother-in-law, who had ordered all letters to be delivered to her, bringing in mine, stationing herself before my bed, and, having first questioned me by her looks, v/atcli- ing me break each seal, reading in my eyes the contents of my letter, and then with a torrent of interrogations changing my pleasure 234 MEMOIRS OF into a fit of anger mIucIi I could ^^■ith difficulty conceal from its object. If I read my letter aloud, it produced angry remarks on the love expressed for me, and the neglect with which she was now treated. When, to flatter her maternal jealousy, I skijiped the passages ex- pressive only of attachment to me, she began crying, because secrets were kept from her knowledge, and complained of my having es- tranged from her her son's affection. When, to gratify her, I handed her my letter to peruse at pleasure, summoning M. and Madame Denis, the trio reckoned and discussed the kisses and expressions of tenderness sent me by my hus- band. Unable to bear this martj^dom, I de- sired my husband to include in each of his letters a detached page containing no loving messages or communications of importance, to be handed over to his mother ; and he complied, to the despair of Madame Lafarge, who, receiving her page as the sole reply to all her questions, devoured the rest of the missive with her looks and bitter thoughts. She attempted, after her son's departure, to extend her inquisition over all the rest of my correspondence. " Here is a letter for you MADAME LAFARGE. 235 from Paris : M'ho is it from ? It looks like a gentleman's writing. It is very bulky : are you pleased ? Perhaps it is from your sister ? Do the luomen in Paris correspond with gen- tlemen ?" To all these annoying queries I quietly replied, with indignant calmness, that coming from persons with whom she was un- acquainted, the contents could not inter^t her; that I corresponded with all my old friends, regardless of the very unimportant distinction of sex. Finally, having reperused my letter while my mother-in-law confronted me like a gigantic note of interrogation, I deliberately burned it, and so destroyed in her all hope of satisfying her suspicious curiosity. Madame Lafarge never forgave in me this frank reserve. She denounced it to M. Lafarge, as he himself in- formed me ; to her brother Raymond, who also defended me ; and afterwards to others, who, virtuously scandalised like herself at my con- duct, fomid ample matter for all sorts of slan- der and calumny. How much happier should I have been to share with my mother-in-law in her pleasures and vexations, in my own sorrows and my joys ! How easy should it be 236 MEMOIRS OF for a wife to study the love and duty she has SAVorn to the son in the heart of the mother, M'ho is the guardian angel of the childhood "vvhich is past, as the wife should be the con- soling angel of the man ! After the first days succeeding his arrival in Paris, — after the gracious Mords of welcome, promises, confidential communications, and professions of readiness to serve, so sincere in those first days, — M. Lafarge sav/ each of his friends return to his business, habits, and plea- sures, and found himself deserted, alone, and disheartened. Society is merciless to those who seek in it supporters or protectors. It exacts from its votaries a boundless egotism, — necessary perhaps to follow its rapid whirl. It leaves not to the breathless victims in head and heart, which belong to it, the faculty of indulging thoughts or gaining friends; while it must be conceded that the selfishness of those A^ho seek equals that of hoped-for pa- trons. The man of one idea A\'ould with it petrify those of all to whom he makes apjjlica- tion. He is displeased Mith the ruling powers for not concentrating their solicitude on his one MADAME LAFARGE. 237 favoured notion, on which, according to him, depends the future prosperity and glory of the nation. M. Lafarge intrigued against the age of gold to restore the age of iron. After having in vain preached to him patience, I counselled him to seek the way to his deputies', friends', and relatives' hearts through their appetites, and to put their good-will to the test bj^ the truffles of Perigord. In obedience to his in- structions, I wrote to all the persons of my acquaintance who could be of service to him, he telling me all it was necessary to explain and require. I frequently spent whole days in this disagreeable occupation. I knew not how to beg; and the part of solicitress, which it would have been impossible for me to play in person, was scarcely less revolting with a pen and paper. T tore one letter because it seemed too hiunble, another because it prayed too proudly, a third because the hand-writing was too aristocratically illegible ; in short, if my productions wearied my husband's great friends, I was, in expiation, myself the first victim of my own dulness. The impossibility of obtaining Madame de Sabatie's dower, com- 238 MEMOIRS OF pelling ni)'^ husband to have recourse for a loan to strangers^ completed my distress. My cousin, believing tliat she lost the chance of a profitable investment, was inconsolable ; ■while I was not less afflicted for her, myself, for om* realities, and our dreams. In the midst of all this worry and irrita- tion, I was often at a loss to understand M. Lafarge's conduct, and was miserable on find- ing him, with a view to his loan, resort to narrow thoughts and debasing actions. I had no objection to his making a thousand appli- cations to the minister for a single favour ; but for his private business, and that business a loan, I shrank from the idea of seeing him basely cringe to one of our great kings of the bank. Bowing and flattery may be permis- sible perhaps to obtain an invitation to a ball from any of their greatnesses ; but in affairs of interest, in which confidence is indispensable, all applications should be based on honour, right, and high character; and to bend the knee in order to borrow a little gold, is to give a man, with the license to despise, a\ithority to superadd suspicion and refusal to his contempt of the borrower. MADAME LAFARGE. 239 These ideas so bewildered my poor head, that no sophistry could calm my agitation. I felt with unspeakable anguish the moral obstacles that must incessantly oppose my wish to love and respect the man to whom I was united for life. 1 could only shut mj^ eyes and pray, as I gradually comprehended the extent of the infe- riority of the man whom fate had made my lord and master. My outraged soul fathomed in desperation the immensity of its irreparable misfortune, and struggled to retain an illusion which seemed about to disappear : it would have despoiled itself, that it might erect a pe- destal to its master, to ennoble the worship which had been imposed upon it. In those moments of delusive pride I cried aloud, to stifle the voice of conviction, " This man is good — he is your superior ; all about him is serious and useful, and agreeable to the usages of real life : he is your husband, and you love him. Not of him, but of the world and of the Avorld's realities should you complain, for in- flicting the first bitter pangs that attend the transition from your land of dreams and illu- sions to the duties and deceptions of actual life." 240 MEMOIRS OF If I interrogate my conscience, it will bear •witness for me that it never tolerated these re- volts of my mind, and that I ever courageously sought to stifle them in the enthusiasm of fidelity and dut^^ In sincerity of heart, I forced myself to find the tenderest expressions in addressing mj^ absent husband ; I com- manded my thoughts to be gentle and affec- tionate ; then I seat them to M. Lafarge in my letters, as an expiation of my involuntary wrongs. Whenever I succeeded in imbuing my correspondence M'ith tenderness and esteem, I joyfully consigned my epistle to the post; when, on the contrary, I fancied my sorrow and discouragement had spoken out in despite of myself, I \\as wretched and despairing : and not unfrequently, in repcrusiiig the expressions I had imposed upon my pen, overwhelmed with remorse at my Avell-intentioned hypocrisy, scalding tears would force their wa}^, without, however, relieving my oppressed heart. Madame Lafarge dwelt in her own room, almost constantly attended by M. Denis. I was entirely alone, and too happy to relieve my solitude by the presence of my charming cousin, Emma Pontier. This dear child had MADAME LAFARGE. 241 just finished her education ; and her thoughts not being j^et shut in by the materialism of existence, she sought with me friendship and a refuge for her iUusions. Fortuneless, and well knowing that in the world her destiny would be to become the chief slave of some lord of the creation, her tender affections were elevated above this world. Like me, she had marked out a future for herself; but while her heart was lost in the boundless immensity it em- braced, mine languished in the chains that bound it to earth. The days we spent toge- ther were agreeably occupied. We walked among the ruins, read Chateaubriand, or I played to her on the piano. The effect of harmony was all-powerful over the tender and susceptible organisation of Emma. When the twilight came, and the darkness threw its large black veil over our vast saloon, I sung to her the romance of the " Abencerage," or tlie " Lac de Lamartine ;" or sometimes one of the ballads of Schubert, in which spectres come forth from their coffins, and return to the earth to love, to pray, and to suffer. She would shudder, and lay her head on my shoul- xler to weep. Sometimes her emotion would VOL II. M 242 MEMOIRS OF iiifect me : I became afraid to listen to myself^ and we nestled close to each other, not daring to rise even to ask for the lamp, 'svhich wa* needed to restore our courage. During ooi- evenings, we loved to listen to the recital of the supernatural adventures which my mother-in-law told Avith so much mj'stery and credvdity; how it was the devil that stifled one of her children, and how an old monk roamed through one of the arcades of the grand corridor, chanting the psalms of la penitence. One night a phantom had kissed her on the forehead, in order to forewarn her of the death of her husband, Mhich happened two days afterwards. Another time, during one of the frosty and tempestuous nights of winter, she had seen light and plaintive ghosts come and extend their skeleton-hands before her hearth, regarding it with their vacant eyes, which were weeping icy tears. One evening, pressing letters from M. La- farge having required it, I sat up writing till two in the morning; while Emma, who had not v.ished to go to bed before me, made Cle- mentine shew her all the favourite dresses of uiy corbeille. Suddenly, my gentle little friend'.- MADAME L,AFARGE. 243 Avishes induced me to put on once more my wedding-dressj my veil, my laces, and my white crown. I was becoming sad, and began to reckon in my heart all the illusions which had withered since I had deposited, on quitting the church, that virgin apparel, when the compli- ments of Emma, and the enthusiasm of Cle- mentine, always in admiration before her mis- tress, turned my mind upon the vanity and the futile and superficial part of my remembrances. Wishing to continue our conversation longer, we had Emma's bed brought beside mine. All at once our lamp went out, and the flames of the chimney played in a thousand extravagant reflections on the angles of the furniture of the saloon. All the legends v.e had heard were recalled to our minds. *'I.am afraid," said Emma, pressing my hand. I also entertained a slight fear ; but, assum- ing incredulity and strength, in order to calm her, I was desirous of proving to her how easily the marvellous may be always explainedi I spoke to her of magnetism, of somnam- bulism, &c. Meanwhile the wind arose, and m2 244 MEMOIRS OF moaned through the dihipidated corridors ; the cries of the night-birds diminished my cou- rage ; and the howling of the wolves, which we heard in the distance, froze our hands, which clasped each other convulsively. The fire, which %\'as nearly extinguished, no longer enlightened more than the angles of the piano, which looked like an immense coffin. Emma shuddered, and her teeth chattered. I was a little stronger, but my heart was shaken with presentiments. My poor little cousin, iniable any longer to reason with her fears, came to seek refuge with me, and with our two heads hidden under my counterpane, we awaited the morning in trembling silence. At length, when the first streaks of day were announced by the bell of the angelus, our heads issued from their white prison — our eyes, still af- frighted, met, and we exchanged a long burst of laughter at the remembrance of our mortal terrors. Next day, at breakfast, we related to my mother-in-law all that our imaginations had seen and heard in tliat gloomy night. In order to embellish our narrative, we would fain have MADAME LAFARGE. 245 vaunted of the visit of some phantom-monk ; but the deception seemed a little too gross, and we were both scrupulous of adding an- other superstition to the many which already disturbed the solitude of poor Glandier. 246 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER XIX. Madame Lafarge, meanwhile, jealous of the excessive tenderness exhibited towards me by Emma, sought to emploj^ a thousand means to detach her from my heart. She told her of the letter of the fifteenth of August, and the sad scenes of my arrival, metamorphosing into reality the love that I had alleged for a young man. She told her I had seen him at Pom- padour, and afterwards at Glandier; and made, in short, so pleasant a melange of absurdities and l)lack calumnies, that I saw a cloud on the aft'ection of my cousin ; to whom I gave all my confidence, for the purpose of justifying my- self. The latter saw innnediately that she might continue to love me ; and she did love me the better for what I had .suffered, and for what I sometimes still suftered. My uncle Poritier came often to see me, and testified his pleasure at the friendship I dis- MADAME LAFARGE. 24/ played towards his daughter ; but to his svv'eet, amiable, enthusiastic conversations there had succeeded in him a preoccupation, a discourage- ment, a sadness — profound, ardent, and con- tinuous — which afflicted and affrighted me. One evening he appeared more unhappy than usual. He made me sing all the airs that he loved, spoke to me of absence, of the absent, of the sacredness of remembrances ; then, af- ter having embraced me, he took leave, recom- mending to me his children ; and the next day I learnt that he had departed for Algiers. I wept bitterly for that only man who had un- derstood, loved, and adopted me in my new family; and I wrote to him, pledging myself to love and protect his children, and telling him all the thoughts, all the regrets, which I would preserve towards him until his return. I was sometimes visited by M. de T * * *, with Mdiom I was pleased to be able to ex- change a few ideas. I gained instruction from his good taste and experience, to assist me in forming the plantations which I contemplated for the spring ; and I made him write in my album the pretty verses which he was accus- tomed to make, in order to abridge the tedi- 248 MEMOIRS OF ousness of the ride from St. INIartiii to Glan- dier. I had formed the project of going to pass a couple of days at his chateau, and to make an ample acquaintance with Madame de T * * *. A period of execrahle weather, and the famished rats which had improvised a din- ner from the buttons of my Amazone, caused me to put off, and subsequently to abandon, that prospect of reunion, of Avhich I had need to enable me to dispel a thousand wearisome jire -occupations. I received from M. Lafarge letters of de- spair. The business relating to his patent was going forward very slowly, though promising certain success ; but the loan, which proceeded more slowly still, offered difficulties which he feared would be insurmovmtable. The pom- pous speculations, which several years before had ruined so many fortunes, had rendered the bankers distrustful and intractable. As it M'as difficvdt for them to obtain certain information concerning the value of dandier, on the sound- ness of the mortgages of which they wished to secure their advances, they had all refused after more or less excuses. I sent an unli- mited power of attorney to endeavour to sell MADAME LAFARGE. 249 Villers-Hellon, or to raise a loan upon my dower. 1 preached patience and courage to M. Lafarge, and endeavoured to put tender and affectionate words into my letters, in order that at night they might lull to sleep the de- ceits and fatigues of the day. He had passionately desired my portrait. Before his departure, he had wished to have it taken ; hut time had failed him, and he had not known where to find a young girl, who had been recommended to him as having passable talent. Desirous of realising the wish of the poor absentee, and to soothe the discourage- ment and impatience which daily gained upon him, I sallied forth in search of the fair Limou- sine. She was a young old maid, who appeared very sanctified, and whose words were some- what sticky with the honey of flattery ; but she was well informed, unfortunate, and had, in place of genius, a box of colours and brushes, assurance, and the style of a sign-board painter. She kept me sitting for three weeks in order to bring forth from a large blue sky a benevolent red and white physiognomy, which, having like me a mouth, a nose, two eyes, and dark hair, of course ought to resemble me in the most strik- M 5 250 MEMOIRS OF ing manner ; — and was also not unlike one of those great chubbj" figures, which issue from a horn of abundance, and smile, from over the doors of pastry-cooks' shops, at the little child- ren of the Rue St. Denis. Madame Lafarge Avas so enthusiastic at sight of my portrait, and Mademoiselle Brun re- garded it, near and at distance, with a smile of such proud satisfaction, that I believed with a sigh that my vanity had deluded me, and that I was quite as ugly as my picture. I wished, nevertheless, to hazard a slight remark to Ma- demoiselle Brun on the ideality of the tints of lilies and roses which she had flatteringlj- sub- stituted for the tolerably yellow verity of my complexion ; but o\u- artist made me observe that a sprightly rose suited much better than a pale tint M'ith a blue sky ; and Madame La- farge felt assured that her son would be doubly pleased on seeing his wife so full of health, freshness, and embonpoint. I was silenced, and it was agreed that the chef-cV arnvre should not be retouched. At the moment of his departure for Paris, I had requested M. Lafarge to send me a little cake from the shop of the celebrated Felix 3 not MADAME LAFARGE. 25i that I indulged mj^self in uny allusion concern- ing the state of staleness and dryness in which it must arrive, but delighting myself in idea with a fete which I was desirous of offering to my recollections of gourmandising and of youth. Formerly my cousins and I were accustomed to appoint as a rendezvous the Passage des Panoramas, where we might shake each other's hand, and exchange our little secrets of the evening before, while our governesses, forgetful of us, were enjoying the cakes of the renowned pastrj''-cook. M. Lafarge had appeared to comprehend my desire. 1 wished to remind him of it, and to afford him a similar pleasure to tliat which he was to procure for me, by adding to the parcel containing my portrait, some little cakes and chestnuts of his dear Limousin. It was agreed that^Iadame Lafarge, whose reputation for pastry was colossal, and who was not ac- customed to concede to any one the grand work of making side-dishes, should take charge of the confection of the cakes, and tliat on the day when M. Lafarge would receive them at Paris, she should make some others to be eaten by our colony. That second part of the pro- 252 MEMOIRS OF ject, which was entirely my own, seemed to me charming, original, and I had the pleasure of a child in thinking of a supper of which the partakers, separated by a hundred leagues, should thus become again united in thought and in heart. Knowing that my sister would be at Paris, I desired M. Lafarge to invite her to our reunion ; I even invited Madame Buf- fiere to that little fete; but she answered me, that being with child^ she could not undertake the journey, yet promised to make at Faye a third portion of that reminiscent tea-party. At dandier the evening was exceedingly gay. We devoted music, conversation, and our thoughts, to tiie honour of the absent. I had made all the workmen and domestics of the house partake of our fete ; and while in the saloon we took a cup of tea to the welfare and return of M. Lafarge, at the office up- roarious toasts were drunk to his health and to the success of his patent. M. Lafarge was enchanted with my atten- tion in sending him my portrait. He found it sufficiently ugly to recompense my self-love fov its abnegation, and so delighted with it that my patience was amply repaid, by the long words MADAME LAFARGE. 253 of affection and gratitude, for the long- hours of weariness Avhich it had been necessary for me to endure to have it taken. My kindly little idea of the supper had been unsuccessful. Xly * husband told me, that on the evening of the arrival of the packet, being obliged to pass part of the night from home, he could not eat more than a mouthful of the cakes ; that he had re- turned suffering much from pains in the sto- mach ; and that he was put to bed with fright- ful headache and vomiting. This intelligence disquieted me for an entire day without reason;, as I learnt on the next that a few cups of le- monade had calmed that slight indisposition, which had been much less violent than those which had so often alarmed me at Glandier. After having finished my portrait. Made- moiselle Brun afforded me a surprise by com- mencing that of my niece. It was a very long affair, and exhibited an amiable attention ; so I invited her to remain with me till I should be able to take her to the house of Madame Buffiere, whose portrait she was also to paint, and with Avhom I was to pass a fortnight after the return of M. Lafarge. Mademoiselle Brun seemed unhappy. Her 254 MEMOIRS OF family was nearly indigent — slie had no friends ; she recalled these circumstances incessantly; and I offered to her, from pure kindness, my hospitality and interest. In other respects she did not hi the least disturb the busy solitude of my days, seldom quitting the chamber of my mother-in-huv, who overwhelmed her with flatteries, friendship, pancakes, and strong- coffee. I was astonished at the impassioned affection which Madame Lafarge had inspired in Mademoiselle Brun, when I learned that she wished her to marry an old gentleman, rich, and a vrido^^er, whose name I forget, but who resided at Excideuil, not far from Faye. My sister-in-law had a half-share in the plot, into which I was in nowise initiated. About that period, there occurred to me a •very painful scene with Madame Lafarge. She had undertaken to procure the legalisation of an act indispensable to her son for his loan. I know not by what chance, when she sent it to me for signature, I had the curiosity to read the document, and I could not express all that I experienced of torment, grief, and indig- nation, on finding that, instead of the power of attorney, I was reading a will, written in my MADAME LAFARGE. 255 name;, and which went to alter all my wishes and all my sentiments. It Avas impossible for me to doubt. My mother-in-law had violated the will which I had placed under the safe- guard of her honour ; she had submitted my most secret thoughts to a man of law; had charged him to legalise wishes which were not mine ; had sought to pass my fortune into the hands of her daughter's children, of strangers, desirous that not one of the thoughts and af- fections of my heart should survive me, and that all those wliom I had loved should doubly weep me, in believing that I had been chilled by forgetfulness before being iced by death. It was an infamy. After having speculated upon my marriage, was it still necessary to speculate on my death ? A terrible idea passed through my soul. In the same bed in M'liich I nightly reposed, another wife, young, confid- ing, and isolated, like me, from all her friends, had come to her death, having signed a will which despoiled her family. Plad she, too, been dealt falsely v/ith ? had she been a victim ? " My God, my God, have pity !" I cried, throwing myself on my knees. At that mo- 256 MEMOIRS OF ment, my motlier-in-law, avIio had ascertained her blunder, and had hoped that I had sent back the paper without reading it, entered my chamber. '^ I know all," I said to her, in a voice which trembled with emotion and despair. '' I know that you have violated all that is most sacred — the secrets of death. I know that you have wished to plunder my sister — that you have sought to make me give the lie to my affec- tions and to my heart in that awful moment when we depart from life. Providence has disclosed to me your snares ; they will be henceforth useless. Yes, I will make a will — I will send it to my sister — I will give her this time all that it is possible for me to give her; and if I am soon to die, my faithful Clementine shall not quit my pillow, but shall preserve my last agony from violence and craft.'^ ^' Marie, Marie !'' exclaimed Madame La- farge ; " I implore you not to disinherit Charles. He knows nothing of my attempt." '^^ I will believe so — I have need to believe it; but my resolution is not the less unalter- able." " Marie, I entreat }ou, forget it all. Speak MADAME LAFARGE. 257 not of it to my son : he will never forgive nie, though it is for his interest I have done it." " It will be impossible for me to forget ; but I promise you that I will not speak of it to your son. You ought not to blush before him, Madame. Not forgetfulness, but silence and forgiveness.^' " But if you have a child, will you dispos- sess that for your sister?" '^ A child ? Oh, if God should bestow upon me that treasure, can you believe that all my fortune, my whole existence, my sole solici- tude, all that is me or mine, will not be de- voted to it ?" ^^ Well, Marie, you have been unjust ; for I have forged that other instrument but under the persuasion that you will have that child." " It is impossible." " I, however, am convinced of it ^ I know it." '' But I have been told that certain symp- toms are requisite, which I have not." *' Those symptoms prove nothing for a first conception. Your eyes are sunken; you are sick at heart, have an invincible repugnance for some kinds of food, and your figure is "258 MEMOIRS OF less slender and less flexible. I tell you from my olden experience that you are with child." I was confounded at that revelation of Ma- dame Lafarge : I was unable to believe her, yet dared not interrogate her fartlier. My in- experience vras immense, absurd : I racked mj^ poor head to no purpose. At length, after ex- citing myself and stupifying my imagination for several days — after havhig heard it repeated in my ears a thousand times that I was already greatly changed, and very ostensibly enlarged in size, — I believed in a miracle, and entertained the hope of being promoted to the dignity of a mother by the grace of God. My tears were dried up by that sweet hope. I asked a thousand questions, and opposed a thousand arguments against the convictions of my mother-in-law. I had need that she should repl}' to the former with her matronly experi-' ence, while she victoriously combated the lat- ter. My hopes of having a little girl already so fully occupied my heart, that it chased tlience all rancour. I did not dare to speak of my happiness to M. Lafartre. It seemed to me that I mis^ht MADAME LAFARGE. 259 lose my bliss in believing it : I became incre- dulous for the purpose of being convinced of a deception, and made vows to all tbe saints that they might change the impossible into the pos- sible. All my thoughts, all my actions, were already concentrated on that dear little addi- tion to myself. I no longer mounted on horse- back, no longer wore stays ; I caused all my dresses to be enlarged, in order that my waist might expand without impediment, and I al- ready occupied myself in making baby-linen with Clementine, and arranged for my infant's education with Mademoiselle Brun. I would not sing, nor even read, except romances and works which spoke of little children : I had a foretaste of the terrestrial paradise. My little Jacqueline w\as so pretty : I dreamed that she was so fair, so rosy. She had black hair, blue eyes, the mouth of the little king of Rome, as much of heart as the angels, and an infinitude of kisses to answer to mine. Beautiful little Jacqueline, born of mj' dreams, never to come upon this earth, do not seek for life from another mother ! Remain in heaven, dear child, that I may regain you there ! Be one day the recompense of all the agonies 260 MEMOIRS OF which it has been my lot to bear in passing- through the world ! This settled idea, u'hicli recurred to me day and night, was for me a blessing. I had dur- ing the same time a thousand imperceptible vexations, which harassed my life with their petty wounds ; and I required to have love in my heart to make me forget them awhile. M. Lafarge seemed to grow more and more disheartened. He was seized with the mal du pays. He had tried all the bankers of Paris without realising his loan, and said he was wearied and suffering; he feared that he should fall sick at a distance from us. The forge did not prosper; the labourers came to complain to me of the incapacity of Denis, who allowed the charcoal to fail. I sent around us to all the woods where it M'as sold, without being able to purchase any for our consumption. MM. Buffiere and Maynaud, who had promised M. Lafarge to superintend his business, scarcely ever set foot at Glandier; and at last Denis had sent away the chief clerk. Feeling him- self supported by my mother-in-law, he or- dered all things as master ; was impertinent towards my domestics, and imperious with the MADAME LAFARGE. 2GI workmen out of doors. He even went so far as to send away my masons, and the labourers who were employed upon my garden. He moreover drank, passed his time in mysterious journeys, killing with fatigue all the horses in the stables, of which he accused luy servants, and had even the hardihood to write that ca- lumny to Paris. When I received the letter of M. Lafarge, which told me of that accusa- tion, I sent for Denis, and gave him to under- stand that I would not suffer spies around me, and that at the first false report I heard again, I should desire his master to dismiss him. He excused himself, and sought to throw tlie ca- lumny upon M. Buffiere, with a base and false humility which changed my anger into con- tempt. I could have wished to tell M. Lafarge every thing concerning the selfishness of his brother-in-law, the impertinences and disor- ders of Denis ; but fearing to add my annoj^- ances to his, I forbore; urged his return with all my prayers and desires, and, though count- ing the days, endured in silence. All these vexations irritated my nerves, and made me timid. In the night I was afraid, and had the 262 MEMOIRS OF foreman of the labourers and my own domestic to sleep at my door, while Clementine never quitted my chamber. The diamonds of Madame de Leautaud had considerable eft'ect in making me afraid of rob- bers. Having been a long time without intel- ligence of Marie, I was fearful that the state of her health had obliged her to follow the adv'ice of her physician, who, in the spring, had threatened to send her to winter at Pau, far from the frosts and fatigues of the world. I had written to her at the moment of M. La- farge's departure for Paris, to request of her to point out what ought to be my conduct ; to tell her that my husband knev,- her secret, that he was at her disposition, with a devotion as ab- solute, as discreet, as mine, either to return or sell her diamonds in concert with her. Not having yet received her answer, which was to decide my irresolution, I attributed her silence to absence. I then desired M. Lafarge, who ■was to be introduced to Madame de Montbre- ton, to learn if Madame de Leautaud was at Paris. My husband v.as some time before he could relieve my uncertainty, Madame de Mont- breton not having left Corey till the end of MADAME LAFARGE. 263 December^ and M. Lafarge consequently not having been able to see her until then. M. Lafarge informed me that Madame de Leantaud was at Paris ; and he requested me to propose to mj' friend, in case she should not immediately require the full value of the dia- monds, to allow the surplus to remain in our hands at ten per cent interest. He told me that whatever sum it might be, it would be to him of great service, to enable him to purchase at the moment some wood which the managers of the Pompadour stables, I believe, were going to sell for cash in our neighbourhood. I con- fess that it wi\s painful to me to become the interpreter of this request to Marie ; neverthe- less, I did as he desired. Having given all the trouble of that matter to M. Lafarge, I was imable to refuse making, in his name, a pro- position v.hich might be so easily rejected, if it were inconvenient or disagreeable to Madame de Leautaud. That unfortunate little box of diamonds, confided to my care, and in a castle without gates, oppressed me horribly. I was only reassured by the impossibility that it could be stolen or sold v.-ithout discovery. Fortun- ately they were not entirely dismounted, and I 264 MEMOIRS OP knew from Madame de Leautaud that their description had been given, by the chief of the police, to all the jewellers of Paris, and that M. de Leautaud had taken all the steps which were necessary on that subject. MADAME LAFARGE. 265 CHAPTER XX. TfiE 1st of January was approaching, and I did not expect M. Lafarge for three weeks. I was deeply afflicted, for all was growing worse and worse around me. The absences of Denis became every day more frequent. He passed every night in mysterious rides. Our work- men threatened to engage with the proprietor of some forges — our neighbour and rival. In fact, not only did M. Buffiere not assist us Avith his presence or advice, but^, notwithstanding the exj^ress injunctions of his brother-in-law to the contrary, he had made a trial, at his own house, of the new method of fabrication, which had obtained complete success. M. Buffiere, and, above all, his partner Mag- naud, spoke with feelings of envy, far from fraternal, of our future wealth, and took it very ill that I should exhibit my astonishment on VOL. II. N 266 MEMOIRS OP learning that, contrary to the desire of M. La- farge, he had made trial of our discoveries, and thus deprived my husband of the first enjoy- ment of a success -whicli he had paid for so dearly during the last six Aveeks. This infor- matioji, M'hich I could not avoid communicat- ing to my husband, and a loan of twenty-five thousand francs which my agent had procured for him, for the 31st of December, hastened his retin*n. I received a letter -which, in pro- mising me his presence, and my new-year's gifts for the 3d of January, delighted me, and relieved my heart from the presentiment of evil ■which had for a long time oppressed it. Though he had been successful in his demand for the patent, ^I. Lafarge seemed to me very sad. He spoke of the griefs of his absence, without alluding to the pleasures of his return. A sentence of his letter ran thus : "I shall arrive early in the morning ; I wish to see you the first, alone, even without my mother — contrive that it may be so." That sentence having been read by Madame Lafarge, who, in her eagerness to learn the news, had opened the letter during my walk to the forge, she was indignant, and made me vuiderstand, by her MADAME LAFARGE. 267 bitter words, that she considered mc capable of desiring to monopolise the mind of her son, and to withdraw from her his affections ; to which, however, she would not submit, but would rather sit up the whole night, in order to see him before I did. It was under these agreeable circumstances that I commenced the year. For the first time in my life, new-year's day came to me without the kisses or good wishes of those I loved ; and when I bent my knees to pray, I shed tears of bitterness, which could only be as- suaged by the thoughts of that dear little child, of which I dreamed as a hope and as a bless- ing. Clementine first, and then our domestics and the labourers, came to wish me a happy year. I had prepared for each a little present ; and I presented to myself a new-year's gift in the joy of putting a smile on the lips of all around me. Grief, which increases at the sound of joys that have become to it as strangers, is consoled and forgets itself at the sight of those same joys when they are the M^ork of its solicitude, and we become almost happy in giving happiness to others. Madame Fleyniat came to pass the first days n2 268 MEMOIRS OF of the year at Glandier, and brought to me her little gul, a charming child, greatly spoiled, very prettj^, and exceedingly mischievous, who loved me much, and told me so in a petite style, which Avas quite original. In his last letter, M. Lafarge had informed me that he had not yet obtained the money from M. Legris, on the receipt of which his return depended ; and he despaired of being with me so early as he desired. It was, there- fore, a perfect surprise to me when I was awakened by him on the morning of the 3d. When I saw him smile raid shed tears in kiss- ing me on his return, I was frightened at the change in him. Clementine, whose bed was near mine, also asked him immediately if he was ill. He told us that his stomach pained him ; that durhig the latter portion of his stay at Paris he had been obliged to be on horse- back day and night ; that he had constantly, when travelling, a sickness of heart and sto- mach, and had taken nothing till he reached Limousin, when a little broth had caused him to vomit violently. I wished to prepare for him a cup of tea, but he refused. After having expressed to my husband my MADAME LAFARGE. 269 joy at seeing him again, I put a thousand ques- tions to him concerning his business, my fa- mily, his health, and my friends. He told me that he had brought back the patent ; procured a loan from the firm of Martin, Didier, and Delamarre ; that he had for me a mass of pre- sents, letters, and affections ; and a delicious pin, in gold and turquoise, from Madame de Montbreton, who had been charmed with him. In the letter which she had sent for me, through M. Lafarge, Madame de Montbreton told me, after many protestations of intimate friendship, that she had sent me an ivy branch, bearing the motto, " I die where I attach myself." In the midst of all these inquiries and an- swers, M. Lafarge appeared sad and abstracted. I remarked this to him, and asked him, laugh- ing, if he had left his heart at Paris. Instead of answering me, he asked me, sharply, who it was that had posted letters at Uzerche, ad- dressed to Count Ch * * *. " I know not," I replied; " I can only tell you that it was not I." "If you have written to him, I entreat you not to conceal it from me." *^ If I had wished to maintain a second af- 270 MEMOIRS OF fection and a blamable correspondence, should I have confided my secret to you ? should I have told you even the name of him I had lovedj and wished to forget on becoming your wife ?" ^^ You are right ; but still I am assured of it." " That I have written to M. Ch * * =i= ?" " Nearly so." " Then it is an infamous calumny, or a sin- gular coincidence. 1 require that you will in- vestigate the subject. If you unjustly suspect me, I cannot place in you a friendly confi- dence. You may watch over my conduct — you may interrogate me concerning my actions ; but I will permit no one to establish a system of espionage and accusation between us." " You well know that I love you more than I love them. I believe you ; but confess that M. de T * * * has paid his court to you during my absence." " He has addressed verses to me, and some compliments ; nothing more." " But you have written to him ?" *' Yes ; you know that I wished to effect a marriage between one of my cousins and one MADAME LAFARGE. 2/1 of his friends. I wrote to him every time that a letter from my aunt rendered it necessary for me to obtain further information, or brought me a new answer." " But in Limousin the women never write.'^ " I am not a Limousine : and could you never have loved me without that essential qualifica- tion ?" ^^ But it may probably be converted into slander." " What matter ? And if you are above those petty provincialisms, I thank heaven^ and de- spise what others may say." Altogether our conversation, which con- tinued for two hours on these distrusts, ru- jiiours, and suspicions, fully acquainted me with the nature of the letters which had been written against me during those two months of absence, with the torments and trials which were reserved for me in the time to come. Nevertheless, I was still beloved by M. La- farge. A word, a look, easily destroyed the scaffolding of calumnies raised with such ex- ceeding cost against me ; and I did not despair of overcoming both the hatred and wickedness of which I was the object. 2/2 MEMOIRS OF During the interchange of thoughts, expLi- nations, and apologies, M-hich succeeded to the suspicions of M. Lafarge, my mother-in-law came three or four times to knock at the door ; but it A\as locked, and we did not answer. I afterwards learned that Madame Lafarge, who had watched for her son all the morning, was indignant at learning that he had crossed the river, come over the wall of the enclosure through a breach, and entered my chamber without passing through the avenue, and thus without being perceived by her. I understood now that he had required to see me alone in order to tell me his griefs and suspicions. I was affected, was grateful for that frank expla- nation ; I triumphed in my self-love ; and it was not till about noon that I reminded him of the propriety of going to embrace his mother. He returned a few minutes afterwards, so fa- tigued that he desired to go to bed, and wished me to concede to him my chamber, inasmuch as I could there watch near him more conve- nientl}', and could play to him the airs which he had not heard so long. Scarcely was M. Lafargc installed in my apartment, when he was seized M'ith vomiting. MADAME LAFARGE. 2/3 His uncle, M. Fleyniat, somewhat of a doctor, attributed his sickness to the journey, and ordered him some orangeade. I made him a cupful ; and he felt much better after taking it. I passed all that day beside the bed of the poor traveller, who shewed us the famous patent, and received the enthusiastic felicita- tions of all of us with great joy. He wished me not to quit his pillow ; overwhelmed me with tender words, saying that he had brought me his success for a new-year's gift ; that I had inspired his fine and valuable discovery; and that all the new iron should be marked with the cipher of Marie ; and then he covered my hand with a thousand kisses of gratitude. I had caused to be engraven at Paris a stamp in malachite, bearing the forge-hammers, and a motto of my invention. It was our arms of noblesse industrielle. That mark of attention enchanted M. Lafarge. He exhibited it to his mother and to his uncle, repeating to them, '^ See how she has shewn her love for me ! How good she is ! How her thoughts were with me during my absence V Madame Lafarge assumed a grumbling, dis- contented air, and seemed greatly aimoyed at n5 274 MEMOIRS OF the pleasure for M'hich her son rendered me so many thanks. After the departure of our neighbours, M. Lafarge, remaining alone with me, interrogated me concerning the others, and tlie occurrences which had taken place during his absence. I told him all my torments and griefs ; I told him of the negligent desertion of his brother- in-law, the impertinences and inattention of Denis, the dissatisfaction of the workmen, and the want of charcoal which had compelled them to shut up the forge. He appeared highly mortified and painfully abstracted, telling me that the labourer, Joseph Astier, had also com- plained to him on his arrival; but that he would restore good order, in place of all these abuses of authority and confidence. Not wishing to allow me to descend to din- ner, M. Lafarge entreated his mother to let it be served for me at his bedside. He seemed anxious to make reparation for the days lost amid the sorrows of his absence. They brought me the wing of a truffled fowl : my husband wished to taste a small truffle, which I held to him on the end of my fork. Unfortunately that was a slight imprudence, which made MADAME LAFARGE. 2/5 him more sick, and towards ten o'clock he had several vomitings. The night was calmer. The next day our invalid suffered only from excessive weakness. M. Denis wished to speak with him : he sent him away two or three times, entreating us to ^eave him that day to i-epose, and to prevent any one from speaking to him of husiness. He merely directed his confidential labourer to go to Uzerche, to seek a portmanteau containing money, and to cause his luggage to be for- warded. At the hour of luncheon some biscuits were served in the saloon,^when I found myself with Mademoiselle Brun beside my husband. It was necessary therefore to share our little re- past; and he Vvished for a spoonful of perfumed whipped cream. M. Buffiere arrived in the meantime. He was closeted a long time witli his brother-in- law ; and that interview appeared to have hor- ribly fatigued and depressed M. Lafarge. xVt five o'clock, the vomitings returned with greater violence and frequency than on the preceding day. I wished to send in search of the phy- sician of Brives ; but this my mother-in-law 2/6 MEMOIRS OF opposed^ and made choice of M. Bardorij whonv I knew for a very good friend and a very bad doctor. Meanwhile the complaints of M, Lafarge began to disquiet me ; and if M. Buffiere re- assured me in some measure, by saying that it was merely a simple indisposition, and that his brother-in-law was in the habit of exaggerating the slightest suffering, ^ladame Lafarge had sinister ideas, which chilled the blood in my veins. She feared that her son had been poi- soned at Paris by his enemies. She related to me the death of her husband, who, dining at the house of M. N * * *, had been poisoned by a rival in a piece of almond-cake, and had exhibited the same symptoms as those of our sufferer. At two in the morning M. Bardon arrived* I took him aside, and told him my disquietudes, and the frightful suspicions of my mother-in- law. He laughed heartily at these chimerical fears; assured me that there was not a symp- tom which might give consistency to those for- midable ideas ; that the real complaints of M. Lafarge were spasms of the heart, and inflamma- tion of the stomach; that the affection which had MADAME LAFARGE. 2// caused the death of his father had been natural, as he had attended him himself ; and that the bewildered imagination of Madame Lafarge alone could suspect such a crime. I made him explain to me the j^roper treatment to combat these sad spasms, wishing to have it scrupu- lously followed. It was ordered that leeches should be applied ; that the invalid should be interdicted from cold drinks ; and that emol- lient soothing syrups should be mixed in his barley-water. I afterwards talked for a long time with M. Bardon of the early education of children ; of the ^^Emile" of Rousseau, which he had lent nie some days before, and which had awakened in my heart a thousand new feelings, at once deep and poMcrful. 278 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER XXI. While we were thus passing the night in con- versation, the rats held their nocturnal revels over our heads, awaked M. Lafarge from his light slumber, and rendered him ^•ery impa- tient. M. Bardon inquired if I had not en- deavoured to get rid of those noisy and de- structive guests. I told him that I had already made a mixture of ratsbane, flour, and water, for them, without its having produced any exterminating result. He advised me to add to the flour and poison some sugar and butter, promised even to send me some maize-flour ; and knowing that I had no more ratsbane, he gave me a small note to enable me to procure some arsenic at Uzerche. The chagrin of finding himself chained to his bed, when a thousand important occupa- MADAME LAFARGE. 279 tions claimed his attention, augmented the sufferings of M. Lafarge. He was impatient, depressed, gloomy. He avoided, with a sort of terror, any tete-a-tete with his mother and his brother-in-law, who spoke to him con- stantly of business. He seemed pleased while I lulled him, in words of affection, with the dreams and projects to come. He was so ex- ceedingly ill, that I alone had the right of not being dismissed into very satanic company every time it vv^as necessary to make him take the medicine prescribed by his doctor. His mother, above all, had the misfortune of ren- dering him impatient ; and he would only leave to her the care of preparing a multitude of barley-waters, potions, and cataplasms, and of inspecting before her fire a regiment of coffee- pots, the contents of which he despised, not- withstanding the directions given, and our en- treaties. The attentions of Mademoiselle Brun seemed agreeable and useful to the invalid. I asked her therefore to delay her departure for Faye a few days. She consented most readily, and I was grateful ; for it was consenting to as- sociate herself with our fatigues, with our sick- 280 MEMOIRS OF bed inquietudes^ with the pre-occupation of our daySj and the restlessness of our nights. All my conversations Avith my husband dis- covered to me the jealousy and calumnious disposition of his mother. Not only did they dare to misconstrue my actions, but to attri- bute some to me which were entirely false : to the numerous anxieties of M. Lafarge's busi- ness, they had added doubt, suspicion, and un- certainty insupportable for the mind and cruel to the heart. Consequently, in finding me innocent of their odious imputations, more confiding than before, more loving, because he suffered, and quite happy at seeing him again, M. La- farge shewed deep joy. He said to me, " I entreat you to shew your love for me in their presence ; let them hear your pleasant words, and witness your hind attentions." And he repeated to his mother, '^ See how good she is — how she loves me — how happy I am. You must therefore love her. Embrace her, to thank her for the happiness she has conferred on me." At other times, a jealous suspicion passed across his browj he interrogated me with a MADAME LAFARGE. 281 shorty hard, distrustful voice ; then he hcgged pardon ; he saw that I was wounded, and hu- miliated himself, relating, in his excuse, all their treacherous insinuations. I would have remained ignorant of that ma- levolence which concealed itself in darkness to calumniate me. It needed all my husband's sufferings to restrain the violence of my indig- nation, to defer an explanation, and make me preserve a silence which almost stifled me, and appeared to me as cowardly as degrading. When I approached my mother-in-law, I involuntarily recoiled ; her honeyed and false words made my heart revolt ; my brow burnt and quivered when her lips touched it. I own I triumphed ungenerously at her son^s exclusive preference for me. I joyed to mark his eyes seeking me, while he answered with indifference to the questions of his mother, who had driven me from the chamber. I enjoyed the words of love he lavished on me before her; the readiness with which he took the drink from my hands, when he had refused it from hers. I shewed her my power; I shewed her the price of those kisses which I 282 MEMOIRS OF had denied to jealousy, but granted to peni- tence. Fool that I was ! I staked my life against a jest. Strong in my conscience and his love, I myself evoked the hatred which was to dig my tomb. At his second visit, M. Bardon found the in- flammation in the throat more intense; M. La- farge had great difficulty in swallowing, swelling of the glands, and a violent determination of blood to the head. He applied leeches, blooded him slightly, and injected a little alum into the throat. This occasioned excruciating pain to the patient, which was followed by a burning, sharp, continuous taste in the mouth. M. Bardon having left the chamber, M. La- farge told me he M'as sure that they had made him swallow vitriol by mistake ; that he felt a fierce and insupportable inward fire ; that M. Bardon kept a bad and disorderly dispensatory, out of which he served his patients ; and that he had deceived himself. I in vain tried to soothe his pain by some garglings with cold water ; and then, greatly troubled with his inquietude, I sought the doc- MADAME LAFARGE. 283 tor, and frankly told him all his friend's fears. He re-assured me, by telling me that the alum had been given him by his brother-in-law, who was also a physician like himself, and with whom he had passed the day. He also told me it was very easy to distinguish it, by certain properties, from the other corrosive substances of which we were afraid. He could not, how- ever, easily convince his patient, in whose mind the fear of poison had become a fixed idea ; nor Madame Lafarge, who habitually changed the most simple misfortunes into the darkest crimes. Madame Panzani came to give vis the benefit of her care, her receipts, her balms, and her cor- dials. Her love for her nephew shewed itself in a multitude of words, which fatigued him fear- fully ; by a mania for changes and experiments against which he revolted, and which made him consign his blue-stocking imrse to a great dis- tance — sometimes even as far as the devil. The day brought little amelioration to the state of the poor suff'erer. Scarcely had some hours' repose brought back hope, and a smile to our lips, when a new crisis plunged us into despair. The vomiting was less frequent, the 284 MEMOIRS OF spasms more violent. One night they were so prolonged^ that Mademoiselle Brun and myself, who watched near hin), could scarcely prevent him from opening his veins Avith a razor ; and we were obliged to cover him with cold water, and expose him to the frosty air of a January night ; in short, to forget the treatment of his disease, that we might soothe the horrible con- vulsions which tortured him. Every morning M. Bardon gave us encou- ragement — that is to say, myself and my mo- ther-in-law ; for all the rest of the family united in telling us, that this state, with its complaints and agonies, were natural to M. Lafarge's tem- perament ; and that they invariably followed his commercial occupations and fatigue. It must be confessed, that if the patient got no better, he acted precisely contrary to all that WRS prescribed for him. The doctor re- commended perfect silence, and the frequent use of soothing drinks. Jests and chattering resounded incessantly at M. Lafarge's bed-side, and he would drink nothing but cold water ; and burst into furious passions when an at- tempt was made to mingle a little gum or linseed with his dancrerous but chosen drink. MADAME LAFARGE. 285 The task of encountering the storm was generally mine. In turn with success or fail- ure I employed the words of love, deceit, or determination, and kept for the most important prescriptions the great persuader of a brief exile into the neighbouring chamber. I had installed my husband in my own ap- partment, which M'as warmer and larger than his own, and I took my hours of sleep in that of Mademoiselle Brun, sharing it with her. This arrangement was excessively inconvenient for me. Fatigued v/ith watching, pains in the stomach, and a severe cold in the chest, the few hours I spent in bed, with the hope of repose, v/ere broken in upon by a continual passing between my mother-in-law's room and that of her son. I was, so to speak, in a cor- ridor, through which Madame Lafarge passed fifty times in a minute, sometimes with cor- dials she had made on her own fire, and which generally returned thither after a refusal ; some- times leaving the sick man's bed to answer the numberless messages which came from Faye, to Messieurs Denis, Buffiere, and Magnaud, who had taken up their dwelling by his hearth. These continual goings and comings were a 286 MEMOIRS OF torture to the invalid. He endured with impa- tience these questions, so detestable when the answer is discouraging and invariable ; these steps, so heavily light, waking him with so ten- der precaution as to leave him no right to complain. Tuesday night had passed well, Wednesday much better; I was more tranquil, and listened to the equal breathing of M. Lafarge, who went to sleep with his head on my shoulder, Avhile I murmured pleasant and affectionate words of hope and the future in his ear; when, suddenly he was roused by Madame Buffiere, who rushed like a mad woman into the chamber, kissed his hands, and sobbed, crying, " My Charles, you are about to die. Ah ! imhappy being, what can become of me ? what will be life without thee ? Oh ! my brother, thy Amena wall follow thee to the tomb ! " *^ Amena, calm yourself; you make me ill; I am better," said M. Lafarge. ^' Ah," continued Madame Buffiere, ^' my poor Charles to die so young ! I am come to render you the last cares — I am come at the risk of killing my child ; you shall die in my arms.'^ MADAME LAFARGE. 287 '* My God ! must I then die ? And you have concealed it from me — and you cared not for it ?" said the poor sick man, looking at me sadly and reproachfully. '^ I swear that there is no danger in your condition/' I answered, being really stupified and indignant at this dangerous scene. ^' I do not understand your sister's conduct ; with such love as this they will kill you indeed. I must beg you, Amena, to leave him." *' No, no ; I will not quit him again !" It was no longer possible for me to preserve my coolness. I turned angrily to M. Buffiere, a cold spectator of all that passed, and told him I required that he should remove his wife from the chamber, and that he should prevent her re-entering it until she had become more calm and prudent. This was a difficult measure to execute ; but at last Madame Buffiere was dragged out by force; crjdng, that I wished to engross her brother, and ravish from her his last sigh. Her rage and grief produced a frightful ner- vous attack. The impression produced by this sad scene 288 MEMOIRS OF on M. Lafarge was ineffaceable. My words and oaths were powerless to reassure him. " Poor Marie," he incessantly repeated, " must I die ? I loved you so much ; what will become of you ?" ^^ Take courage, and you will still live long to be our happiness.'^ " Speak not to me of happiness, the very word is a pang." '' Be reasonable, then. Do you think my mouth could smile upon you if you were in danger?" " O no ; but you deceive me because they have deceived thee." I passed the whole night in preventing Amena from approaching her brother's bedj and when M. Bardon found, on his morning visit, an in- crease of fever and more alarming symptoms, I indignantly told him the scene of the previous evening, with a rancour most probably not over moderate. I asked the doctor's permission to call in a physician. I wished to have M. Segeral, whom my uncle Pontier had particularly recommended as a man of talent and heart. This did not seem MADAME LAFARGE. 289 to please my inother-in-law; and on Friday morning Denis brought M. Massenat from BriveSj whose reputation stood very high in the province. M. Massenat examined the patient atten- tively and at several intervals ; he informed himself, in a long conversation with M. Bar- don, of the patient's constitution, his former illnesses, the causes to A^hich they attributed his actual sufferings ; and then declared that he was in no danger — that it was a simple nervous affection, troublesome and painful, no doubt, but certain of cure. The serious and collected manners of M. Massenat made me receive this oracle with joy and security. But to be en- tirely reassured, I took him aside, and asked him, with trembling earnestness, to tell me the whole truth ; I also made Mademoiselle Brun ask him the same questions, and each time the answer was as positive. The feebleness of pulse and coldness at the extremities particularly frightened me ; M. Massenat assured me that they were nervous symptoms only. He ordered, to alleviate them, an opiate, soothing drinks, and a little nourishment — such as thin soups, and chicken- VOL. II, O 290 MEMOIRS OF broths. I then begged M. Massenat to return on the morrow — I asked it as a favour; but he told me that the presence of M. Bardon was suf- ficient; tliat he had ordered accounts of the pa- tient's progress to be sent him ; and promised to return when a change of .regimen should be necessary. I was so pleased with this satisfactory and learned visit^ that I easily reconciled myself to Madame Buffiere. I had sent her from the chamber on the preceding evening in wrath and impatience ; so, to make my peace, I engaged her to remain with me near her brother, and counselled his mother to take a few hours of repose. ^^ We are now free from fear; you are fa- tigued," I said to her: ''go and sleep ; I will watch near Charles ; do not disturb yourself." ''You wish to be with him alone?" " No ! you know very well that this never occurs. I have not the strength to sustain his head, and the sight of his vomiting makes me dreadfully ill.'' " Go to bed, mamma," said her son. " I see veiy well you both wish to drive me away ; but that matters not — I shall remain." MADAME LAFARGE. 291 ^'How unjust !" I cried. '^Yes, yes; I comprehend that you would estrange me from my son — that you look on me as nothing in the house ; but 1 shall remain in it in spite of you^ and we will see if you are to be its mistress." '' My God;, Madame, remain in your ruin ; when Charles is well I will remove far from your jealousies, your vile calumnies — if he loves me, he will follow me ; if he prefers you, I shall have sense enough not to weep." Not wishing to prolong these vmjust recrimi- nations, which must of necessity injure M. La- farge, I left the chamber. T afterwards learnt that he and his mother had quarrelled violentl}" after my departure ; that he had accused her of endeavouring to separate us ; and that he had even forbidden her to set foot in his chamber until she was reconciled with me. This made Madame Lafarge seek me, and beg me to ex- cuse her vivacity, which she denominated an excess of maternal tenderness. In entreating me to forget my rancour, my mother-in-law would not forget her own ; and she and her daughter imagined a thousand modes of get- ting rid of me. o2 292 MEMOIRS OF I was very ill, very tired, and very changed in my appearance. This gave theni an oppor- tunity of inspiring M. Lafarge with serious fears for my health; and he begged me to take care of myself — not to leave my couch or my bed ; and as I had no longer real fears for him, I obeyed, without being quite the dupe of the inimical diplomacy of which I was the in- tended victim. MADAME LAFARGE. 293 CHAPTER XXII. The small quantity of arsenic requested by M. Bardon had not been sufficient to extermi- nate our little colony of rats ; they had become still more odious to my husband, whose nerves were irritated by their racing and their con- tinual squeakings above his head. They had also merited all my hatred by devouring my gowns, my linen, and, in short, all they found in my dressing-room. Determined to assemble formidable forces for their final extermination, I asked M. Denis to bring nie a new dose of ratsbane, as also some rat-traps. Although I had inscribed both of these exterminating means on a list of commissions, M. Denis forgot the rat-traps, and brought me, after one of his journeys to Brives, a dose of arsenic only, so large, that I shewed it to M. Lafarge, to enable him to appreciate the steps I was about to take 294 MEMOIRS OP to revenge him on his enemies. He approved them, but forbade my assisting to make the paste, whose injurious exhalations would, he feared, injure me. Clementine was charged with this care. The night between Friday and Saturday was a very good one. I passed great part of it with Mademoiselle Brun ; and in the morning, feel- ing worse and more fatigued than customary, I lay down and slept until ten o'clock, when Madame Buffiere came to wake me, with in- quiries as to my health, and to ask if I would take a little chicken -broth. Astonished at those unaccustomed attentions, I thanked her, but declined the broth, which I told her I always found insipid and disagreeable. She would not hear my objections, but assured me that she knew how to make chicken-broth so delicate and so nicely flavoured, that I should be sure to like it from her hand, and descended to the kitchen to set to work upon it. At the end of a quarter of an hour, she brought me something which was nice enough. I had just swallowed it, when she returned from the chamber of M. Lafarge, and shewed nerself miserable because I had not left a little MADAME LAFARGE. 295 for her brother, who, she said, would have liked, from sentiment, to have partaken it with me. It was the idea of a sick man, which it was necessary to gratify : so Amena made a second cup of broth by my bed-side, with the intention of passing it off as the half of that which I had myself taken. M. Lafarge being asleep, she left it on my night-table. I kept it there some time ; but wishing to take a little repose, and not to be disturbed, I sent the chicken-broth to my sister-in-lasv, to be kept warm until her brother awoke. On his arrival at mid-day, M. Bardon found our patient sufficiently well to be indulged with some bread soaked in Bourdeaux wine, or a little fowl and mashed potato. He also Avarned us, that having no fear for his recovery and a great deal of business upon his hands, he should not come on the morrow, which was Sunday ; and that we had only to administer scrupulously the opiates prescribed by M. Massenat, notwith- standing M. Lafarge's repugnance to them. M. Magnaud returned from Faye during the day, and spoke privately to my husband, v/ho, greatly disturbed by the news, which he would 296 MEMOIRS OF not communicate to me, had a relapse, attended with increased fever ; and he was much worse than on the preceding evening. I complained to Madame Buffiere of these continual infrac- tions of the physician's orders. '' We cannot always sacrifice ourselves, and pay for Charles/' she said to me. ^' If you do not wish me to fatigue him, Madame," added M. Magnaud, ''sign me some blank acceptances, which I have in my port- folio, and I will no longer trouble him with my accounts." I readily agreed to this, and approached my husband, to ask his authority for signing his name, when my sister-in-law and her agent prevented my doing so, by telling me that my signature was sufficient. I then signed a few slips of white paper, which they offered me, and, wishing to give a proof of order and exact- ness, added the date, contrary to my usual habits. '' Well, it's all to do over again," said M. Magnaud ; " a woman's signature, to be avail- able, should have no date." Then tearing them up, he made me com- MADAME LAFARGE. 297 mence again, this time without putting any date. There were bills for six or eight thou- sand francs. Emma joined us in the evening, deeply ter- rified. She had been told in the morning at Uzerche, that the clerks at Glandier had stated that M. Lafarge was at the point of death : and she was glad indeed to share our hopes of his recovery, when she had come to partake of our sorrow and despair. The presence of Emma was very consoling to me. I told her all my past fears, and the reassuring statements of the physicians ; and she repeated to me, like all the rest of the family, that there never ex- isted a more impatient invalid than her cousin, and that she suspected him this time of exag- gerating his sufferings even more than usual, for the sake of being loved and spoilt by me. ToAvards midnight, I had myself an attack of cramp in the stomach., -which compelled me to lie down, while Emma replaced me at the bed-side of M. Lafarge. I had told her how important it was that he should take his opiates, and how much he disliked doing so. She therefore employed my name every quarter of an hour, to induce him to swallow them. o 5 298 MEMOIRS OF " Take this, Charles, for the sake of Marie, who loves you so deeply,^^ she said. '• It is very disgusting ; but for her sake I obey." " Charles, you were very glad to see her again ?'^ " Oh yes. You tell me that she loves me, then, do you r" '^ Doubtless ! I know well how she spoke of you to me when you were away." On hearing this, the poor sick man took his cousin's hands, and appeared to wish to thank her. Soon after, Madame Lafarge and Amena got rid of Emma, under pretence of sending her to take care of me. She repeated to me all she had said to my husband ; and in return, I told her of all the calumnies which had been sent against me to Paris, and of the hatred which was growing more visible every day. The poor girl was indignant. The same mistrust Avhich surrounded me surrounded her also. She had remarked that they avoided her when they wished to speak to each other ; that they appeared to have some important secrets to conceal ; and that Amena had sent her out of MADAME LAFARGE. 299 the room in a pet, that she might talk more unrestrainedly with ^I. Magnaud and Made- moiselle Brun. A thousand conjectures passed through our minds. At last we concluded that these con- versations related to some unfortunate specu- lations, which they wished to conceal, for fear of disquieting me ; and the bills signed in the morniiig confirmed this idea, and somewhat diminished the rancour I felt at the hostile and unkindly conduct of the whole family. At foiu' in the morning, Emma and I re- sumed our places beside the patient. He ap- peared worse, and did not speak to me when I laid my hand upon his brow, and inquired as to its throbbing and its heat. During my ab- sence, they had not once given him the pre- scribed opiate, which alone had the power to calm him. I remarked this with chagrin to Emma : he heai'd me, and signed to me to prepare him some of it. As it was impossible to persuade M. Lafarge to taste a single drop of his emollient drinks, I took the opportunity, in preparing the opiates he consented to take, to add thereto a little 300 MEMOIRS OF gum ; and this time^ according to custom, I had made the usual addition. I had no sooner jdone soj than Madame Lafarge snatched the cup from me, and shewed it to her son tri- umphantly, telling him not to take it, because I had put a white powder in it. It was in vain that Emma remarked to her aunt, that it was only a little gum-arabic, which she had seen me put in. Madame Lafarge affected not to understand her; and when I had left the room, told her that it was so much the worse for me to give her son the gum, when M. Massenat had expressly interdicted its use to the invalid. Ennna, who positively knew the contrary, Avished to excuse me, and received nothing but humiliating and harsh re- proofs, accompanied by an almost formal re- quest to return to Uzerche, and an order not to trouble herself for the future with any thing which was passing round her. Seeing me so unhappy, so persecuted, Emma went home for one day only, promising to re- turn on the morrow, and courageously bear half of my disgrace. How grateful was I to her for that touching promise ! Her devotion in MADAME LAFARGE. 301 allowing me to exchange with her my thoughts of bitterness and discouragement, alone afforded me some little consolation in my suffering. On Sunday morning I was very much aston- ished to find M. and Madame Denis installed alone at the hed-side of M. Lafarge. I asked why I had not been awakened in the absence of my mother-in-law and her daughter — why he was abandoned to tlie care of new persons, who were ignorant of the treatment of his illness and the attentions he required. I was answered that M. Lafarge had required it, and that he did not wish his kind M. Denis to leave him. I appi'oached my husband's bed ; he looked at me a long time in silence, then carried my hand to his lips, and dropped a tear upon it as he kissed it. Madame Buffiere, who entered during tliis, wished me to go away, under pre- tence that I wearied her brother. This he op- posed, and said, " Look at her" Then tak- ing hold of some ringlets which had escaped from my cap, he rolled them round his fingers, and appeared to forget both of us in his own reflections. He asked for drink — I rose to satisfy him, when Amena rushed on the glass, tore it from 302 MEMOIRS OF my hands, and offered it herself to him. Deeply wounded, I was about to leave, when he called. me, drew me towards him, and said, '^ Let them do it, but do not abandon me." I had re-entered my chamber, to iron a gown and fasten up my hair, when Clementine came to inform me of the arrival of M. Fleyniat. I went immediately to see him ; he was with my mother-in-law, and finding him with a sad and abstracted look, I became alarmed, and, draw- ing him aside, inquired whether there was dan- ger, and what we must do if he became worse. He avowed to me that he did not share M. Bardon's security ; that his nourishing regimen appeared to him an absurdity ; and, lastly, that he was frightened by the icy coldness of the extremities, the weakness of the pulse, and the unnatural and uncommon symptoms presented by this illness. "I beg you, then," I said, ^^to induce my mother-in-law to call in another physician, in- stead of M. Bardon." " But she tells me that it is you who oppose it/' " I ! why for a week past I have in vain im- plored her to send for M. Segeral." MADAME LAFARGE. 303 He appeared greatly astonished at my an- swer, and advised me immediately to send to Brives for M. Segeral, to require that he should come every day, and to have no more to do with M. Bardon, whose want of skill was verv generally known, and for whom he could not explain the family partiality. M. Fleyniat, seeing how much he had trou- bled me, now tried to calm me. He told me that very possibly he had exaggerated the dan- ger ; that M. Massenat had not acknowledged it ; and that his decision was an oracle on which he would confidently rely. Then returning to the chamber of M. Lafai-ge, he again examined him attentively, permitted him to take some beer, instead of barley-water, and ordered me to give him some lukewarm water to encourage the vomiting, and cause the stomach to reject the hurtful matter which might have been in- troduced there. I was obliged to encounter the ill-will and almost brutal opposition of Mesdames Lafarge and Bufiiere, before I could administer this last presci'iption. According to them, I wished to stifle, wear out, and kill M. Lafarge by new vomitings. But their accusations could not 304 MEMOIRS OF shake me — I was inexorable; and in spite of them, I took se\'eral cups of water to my hus- band, who did not dare refuse them from my hand, and who was relieved by them, until his mother gave him a great glass of beer, when the insupportable burning in the stomach re- turned, with violent cramp and agony. To finish my desolation, I learned that they had prevented the departure of the labourer whom I had sent to Brives to fetch M. Sege- ral ; and that, under some pretext, Madame Lafarge had despatched ho-v fait] if ul Denis alone to Labersac, to seek another physician, M. Les- pinas. In the evening, M. Magnaud arrived. His presence seemed to dispel the uneasiness caused in my mother-in-law by M. Fleyniat. He told me he had business to speak about to M. La- farge, and wished to be left alone with him. I objected to him the fatigue of mind it would cause, so dangerous in such a critical moment ; but when he assured me that he brought good news, more fit to cure than to injure my hus- band, I left them alone together. I perceived, on my return, that M. Magnaud's presence had produced an effect quite opposite to the one he MADAME LAFARGE. 305 had appeared to expect, and that the illness and the pangs had never so violently contracted the features of the poor patient. He turned his head away gn my approach, and did not appear to perceive the affectionate kiss I laid upon his hand. I then sat myself near the fire-place, before which Mademoiselle Brun, Madame Buffiere, and M. Magnaiid, were talking and laughing together, and gave way to despair and fright- ful discouragement. The scarcely veiled hatred expressed to me by the whole family — the wall reared by their persons and their calumnies between me and my husband — that petty per- secution, which wounded me continually, but did not suffice to kill me, — appeared alike odious and intolerable. Yet I must bear it. Poor Charles's suffer- ings, still more than my duty, chained me to Glandier. I raised my eyes by chance to the countenances of my enemies : they were basely smiling and triumphant. The contempt this inspired took the place of my despair, and gave me strength to reason on it. " I advise you to go to bed, Marie," said Madame Buffiere, with a sneer; ^' you are 306 MEMOIRS OF pale ; and it will please my brother, who being more habituated to my attentions, prefers them to yours.'' " Do not trouble yourself about me, Ma- dame : my place is here, and here I shall remain, as long as I think it useful and proper to do so." Then concealing my previous grief in the depths of my soul, I took a book, and isolated myself both from their persecution and their presence. On that evening M. Magnaud's amiability was insupportable. He awoke Madame Lufarge with the feathers of a pen ; embraced Mademoiselle Brun by force, Madame Buffiere with her own good will ; and at last selected the latter for a pillow, and slept soundly on her shoulder. As I appeared to observe all this with astonish- ment, Madame Buffiere said to me, '^ What would you ? He is like a brother to us.'' At two in the morning, M. Lespinas entered, escorted by M. Denis. All the sleeping eyes opened to receive him with a tear. Madame Buffiere would have led him into the embrasure of a window to speak to him, but he told her MADAME LAFARGE. 30/ Denis had mentioned the state of the patient to hinij and going to the bed of M. Lafarge, felt his pulse, asked him a question or two, gave him a draught which he had brought with him, and then came to warm himself, and speak to me. I thanked M. Lespinas for braving the night and the cold to comfort illness and fear, and prayed him to tell me all he thought respect- ing my husband's condition. He told me he thought him affected by an obstruction of the stomach, a troublesome and tedious, but not a dangerous, disorder — at least not immediately dangerous. He then asked me if I liked my new country ; if I was weary of my solitude ; and if my love for horse-exercise was strong enough to make me brave winter and bad roads ? In answering these questions, I exa- mined M. Lespinas, and attempted to discover what had been the motive for giving him the family confidence in preference to M. Segeral. He was a young man, with a brief sharp style of speech, full of ordinary and trifling expressions. Obstinacy and vanity, instead of intellect, illuminated his brow. The self-love 308 MEMOIRS OF of the physician was to be read in his eye, and the folly of the man smiled on his mouth. While he was warming himself, buried in a huge arm-chair, his feet on the hobs, rubbing his hands or passing them through his hair, Madame Buffiere offered him some eau suo'ee, called him their saviour, and sobbed while she told him how much she loved her brother. Ma- dame Lafarge also gave vent to some exclama- tions of desj)air and mysterious sighs ; while Mademoiselle Brun,Magnaud, andDenis, talked together with a sinister and affected reserve. "My God, sir!'^ I cried, "conceal nothing from me,^' as I detected a dark glance of intel- ligence between my sister-in-law and the ph)'- sician. " Is there any danger ? I will send for M. Segeral — I am dreadfully \measy ; no mys- tery, I implore you !" '^ It is useless to have a second physician, since Monsieur tells us it is a long and chronic complaint,'^ answered Amena. " But you are fatigued — go and rest yourself; we will watch to-night." '' Charles himself desires it," added my mo- ther-in-law. MADAME LAFARGE. 309 " YeSj Madame," said M. Lespinas, joining them. " It will be a long illness; reserve your strength to employ it hereafter : it is indis- pensable." Exiled by these hypocritical cares for my health from my husband's bed-side — seeing my rights, ni}'^ duties, and my attentions usurped — I went out very indignant, very wretched, un- comforted even by a single word from my poor sick husband, who let me go in this manner, without one of those looks which protested against the bitter cup which they forced upon me. 310 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER XXIII. On the Monclaj*, I ■\vas astonished at the change in M. Lafarge. His eyes were fixed, his colour hvid. I saw death on his brow .... and, without a "vvord, I fell on my knees to weep and pray over his already icy hand. My husband's look was by turns fond, lov- ing, angry, terrifying. If I left him, he called me back with one of love ', if I approached, he turned away in wrath. He appeared to wish to question and reproach me, — and his mo- ther, his sister, Denis, interrupted his words, hid from me his eyes, stole from me even the silent expression of his tlioughts. Nor was this all I had to endure ; the cham- ber was filled witli friends of the family, stran- gers to me — who were spies on my movements — who counted my tears and registered my griefs. I was informed that they communi- MADAME LAFARGE. 311 cated their remarks to Mademoiselle Brun — to the clerks ; that they whispered ; that they ca- lumniatedj even in that critical hour. Unable longer to endure this torture, I shut myself in my chamber, and let the tears which stifled me run freely down my cheek. One must lose more than oneself — one must lose a father or a mother, to feel one of those vast, infinite sorrows, which hurl their despair, their sobs, and their cries into the midst of the world's indifference; which find a desert among mankind ; which have forgotten all except the tomb which is about to enclose their treasure, and heaven which is to restore it to them in eternity. Calmer and more reasonable griefs, which disturb without crushing life, are felt fully but in loneliness ; they are the throbs, the regrets, of a suffering heart, rather than the death-cries of a heart in agony. They dread to appear exaggerated to some, and cold to others. The memories of that last day have left ter- ror and anguish in my soul, but not a positive fact in my memory. It is a fearful rn'ghtmare, from which I have awakened trembling, thril- ling, with a real suffering, produced by ima- 312 MEMOIRS OF ginary tortures. So near death ive do not see life, we feel it. I only know that Emma came to me with friendship and tears; that many times, wish- ing to return to the bed-side of the unhappy Charles, a bolt arrested my steps .... I know that, wishing to bring to that pillow, whence they chased me, calm and hope, I sent for a priest; that he came, and that I united my prayers to his .... I know that a little later the family brought me consolation, attention, tenderness, and a paper to sign .... that it was then permitted me to approach the bed of death, but that there was neither look nor adieu from him who had loved me .... I know that they tore from me the sad delight of moistening his burning lips, of raising his poor head, of chafing his icy hands .... I know that Emma made me leave the chamber, to spare me ;j11 these proofs of hatred — that I was very ill — that towards the morning she quitted me no more — that she wept more bitterly — that I in- terrogated her, and that she said to me, cover- ing me with kisses, — " I love you, Marie ; I love you for both.^' It was Lite on the following day when that MADAME LAFARGR. 313 heavy sleep of grief with which God dries tears and checks thought, passed from my eyelids, and restored me to life and the sor- rows of reality. My first thought was for the poor mother. I wished to mingle my regrets and tears with hers — I wished to honour the memory of him who had left us, by promising love and filial obedience to his mother ; and T forgot that she did not love me, and tliat she had made me suffer, to remember only the cares, the love, and the respect, which were become a duty and a heritage to the widow of her poor child. Emma kept me back ; she told me that her aunt was calm, that my presence would be a new sorrow, which would too bitterly re- awaken her stupified grief. She added, that her aunt had charged her to embrace and at- tend to me, and requested me to defer our sad meeting until the following day. This resolution troubled me. Our hearts, until now strangers, needed union in their sorrow, to mingle in their first grief, in the sudden bursts, and in the incoherent expres- sions of despair. The new feelings of life often find all a past in a single tear. VOL. II. p 314 MEMOIRS OF My day was j^assed with Emma; she was full of sadness. M. Buffiere alone came to cast himself into my arms, and to weep a long time v\'ith me. He told me that his wife was ill in bed ; that she, like himself, loved me as a sister; he assured me afterwards that he would continue for me all he had done for his brother-in-law, and made me sign a blank power of attorney, v.hich was to give him the means of being useful to me. Emma, on returning to me after my cousin's departure, asked me, vAth a kind of imeasiness, how he had conducted himself. I recounted our conversation to her, word byword. She appeared astonished as I spoke, became abstracted, anx- ious ; then, taking my two hands, said to me, — " I love you much, Marie, and am about to prove it to you. I will pass no rash judgment upon my family, but I entreat you, I beg you, as a favour, to trust your papers to no one. They talk incessantly of wills — ask me if you have one — what you intend doing with it — and what it contains." These words of Emma made m.e reflect on the will M. Lafarge had made in my favour. We v^ere a long time finding it ; a longer still. MADAME LAFARGE. 315 when we had found it, before deciding what we should do with it. Emma told me that there were formalities to fulfil, in order to ren- der it available, as she had heard her aunt say; but as we neither of us knew in what they consisted^ she advised me to send it to Sois- sons, to my lawyer. Emma was so suspicious, that she would not let me keep it a single night in our chamber ; and we had it carried to the post-office by my servant, although it was very late. I also wrote some letters to my family, in which I asked them to come to me, telling them of my grief, without mentioning my persecutions. Early in the evening, I asked Clementine to inquire after my mother and sister-in-law. She refused to go, telling me that while I wept they robbed me ; that I attended to nothing, and should become their dupe, &c. &c. Hurt at these statements, I forbade all other expla- nations on the part of poor Clementine, and told her rather harshly to leave my chamber. She obeyed, but returned a minute after with my cook, who assured me Clementine liad told the truth, and that it was she who had warned her of it. p2 316 MEMOIRS OF '^They will ruin you — they will turn us all out, if Madame does uot show herself mistress. Yesterday evening the plate was taken away, imder pretence of securing it ; and they wanted the labourer, Joseph, to take it to Faye, but he refused to wrong Madame, whom he loves as we do. Madame Lafarge, the mother, has also said to me, that if I would be in her in- terests she would recompense me, because she was the heir. Would you believe it ? this morning, when poor master was scarcely dead, she took out all that was in his trunks near his bed, without even making the sign of a cross in behalf of his poor soul," &c. &c. These words struck me ; but, thinking them exaggerated by the devotion of Clementine, and Mion's zeal, I forbade them to repeat them to any one, promising to make myself strong enough to preserve them from every vexation ; and I endeavoured to chase from my mind the suspicion they had instilled. It seemed to me an insult to the memory of my husband, to estimate too nicely the steps his mother was taking. On Wednesday morning Madame Lafarge entered my chamber, and embraced me, with- MADAME L.AFARGE. 3l7 out shedding a tear. She came to tell me that Amelia, too ill to leave her room, and, ahove all, desirous of seeing me, begged me to come and weep Avith her over her brother, and soften my sufferings by sharing them. The door Mdiich communicated between my chamber and my mother-in-law's was open. I heard Madame Buffiere cry out, " Marie — my sister, come, I entreat you." I leapt from my bed, and rushed into her arms, having only cast a mantilla over my shoulders. My sister-in-law, in deep mourning, was sit- ting near the fire, but she did not appear to be very ill. She received me with all the appear- ances of despair, crying, that she felt she was dying, and that she wished to die. She then asked me for the patent, that she might cover it with kisses, and seemed not to believe me when I assured her that I had it not, and knew not where to find it, calling me cruel to refuse her so great a consolation. On a sudden, I heard steps approaching. I wished to re-enter my apartment ; the bolt was drawn ; in vain I knocked, calling on Clementine, who came and told me that my mother-in-law had shut 318 MEMOIRS OF herself up there with a locksmith, and was forcing the secretaire, " It cannot be — that would be too infamous !" I cried. " My mother is mistress here, and does what she chooses/' answered Amena, angrily. " The mistress ! then why steal what belongs to herself?" At this moment, M. de Lespinas, manager of the stables of Pompadour, and M. Boucheron, the registrar, entered the chamber where I was j and on their arrival, my sister-in-law resumed her tears, her soft voice, and her demonstra- tions of tenderness towards me. Appalled, I remained several minutes unconscious of their visit, forgetting my strange costume, my dis- ordered hair, the mantilla which scarcely co- vered me, and my naked arms and feet. I had not a tear, not a complaint, not a word — the indignation of the wife had vanquished the modesty of the woman. A curious look from one of these gentlemen at last restored me to myself. I begged them to leave me alone; they retired, and soon after the door of my chamber was opened. MADAME LAFARGE. 319 I had scarcely power to re-enter it, and shut myself up with Clementine. The poor girl was even more disgusted with these perse- cutions than I was. She shewed me the secret drawer which they had burst to carry away the contracts, title-deeds, and important docu- ments which it contained. She also made me observe that they had carried away all my jewels, the portrait of ray mother, my father's hair, all the treasures of my souvenirs. While I endeavoured to account to myself for this last dishonour — so cruel, if they envied me the value those objects had to my heart; so base, if they speculated on their material value, — Emma entered, and cast herself pale and trembling on my neck, speechless with grief. Believing that she suffered from the new insult %vhich had been added to my tortures, I en- deavoured to calm her, and to conceal from her what I felt, by calling her my sister, my friend, and my good angel. But she did not answer me; parting my hair from my fore- head, she looked upon me v/ildly, and then exclaimed with sobs, — '- Marie, they say you have poisoned him ; that you have killed Charles in order to wed 320 MEMOIRS OF another .... Marie, it is impossible ! is it not ? — impossible ! — impossible ! " " The wretches ! But no^ it cannot be — you deceive yourself. Oh^ in pity speak ! Emma, speak — tell me all !^' ^' My aunt and Amena have told me so ; oh, I have heard but too much — they tell it to all the world — they relate such frightful things ! My God ! my God ! you are lost !" '' Lost ! — I defy them ! Calm yourself, Emma; j^ou have shared with me all those last moments — you know whether I am innocent . . . I will say so — we will tell them so ... . they shall believe us. No, no, these calumnies will never harm me." ^^But, Marie, you had arsenic .... they have found it in the chicken-broth .... If you were deceived ! — if a fatal mistake !" — " It is impossible ! — I may have put gum in it; ... . but that very gum, I have eaten it be- fore, I have eaten it since." '^Did you know what you have in the little box that I took from you yesterday?" ^^What I have?— gum!" '* Alas ! no. I made M. Fleyniat examine it — it is arsenic ! " MADAME LAFARGE. 321 "Arsenic! impossible! I repeat to you, Emma, I have eaten that gum. Your uncle is deceived. Be calm, I entreat you. God ! is he not in heaven to save the innocent that they accuse on earth ?" Clementine was in as great despair as my cousin. Their grief terrified me. Both spoke of justice, of the Court of Assizes, and the scaffold. I should have become mad, had I not been compelled to forget myself in order to console them. M. Fleyniat was at Glandier; I had him summoned to have a frank and positive ex- planation of those abominable and foul cahnn- nies. He came with an embarrassed air; I told him that I knew all, and breathed some slight reproaches in regard to his silence to- wards me. I asked him on what foundation they grounded these monstrous suspicions — formed, I wished to believe, by a mother's grief, yet whose absurdity it was necessary for me to prove, because they were accusations which it was impossible to pass over in si- lence." After having assured me very wordily that he believed me innocent, M. Fleyniat told p5 322 MEMOIRS OF me^ that I was accused of having sent poisoned cakes to Paris. That a brother of M. Buffiere had warned the family of it, on learning the illness of M. Lafarge ; that M. Essartier had discovered arsenic in the chicken - broth I wished the invalid to take ; that Madame La- farge had seen me, with her own eyes, put arsenic in a potion j and that, lastly, I had poisoned a piece of flannel, that I might hasten the death of my husband by friction. I felt reassured, on listening to these accusa- tions, — they appeared to me so easy of refuta- tion. The cakes had been made by my mother- in-law herself; the chicken-broth had been prepared by the desire, and under the super- intendence, of Aladame Buffiere ; and all the frictions had been made by Messieurs Buffiere and Denis. I could not therefore have put poison in the flannel. In explaining these circumstances to M. Fleyniat, I gave him to understand that I did not intend them as a defence ; that far from accepting the position of one accused, I claimed by too good right the position of a victim. It was impossible not to believe my mother-in- law to be absolutely mad 3 and, to terminate all MADAME LAFARGE. 323 these calumnious and infamous lies, I resolved to strengthen myself with the testimony of the physicians v/ho had attended the sick man, — Messieurs Bardon, Massenat, and Lespinas, v.'ho had given me hope in the last moments, and h[id ulwaj^s combatted my fears. M. Fley- niat told me I should address myself to M. Lespinas in vain — that he believed me guilty, boasted of having discovered the crime, and had demanded an examination of the corpse. I also learned that Madame Lafarge had op- posed this measure, saying to M. Lespinas and to several persons, that I had formally refused the examination, and had hastened all the last ceremonies in order to avoid it. I begged M. Fleyniat to deny this last asser- tion, and in my name to require the examina- tion. I begged him to be present at that mournful operation. I also again demanded the presence of the often-refused M. Segeral ; and the hope of speedily eliciting the truth, clear, evident, and palpable to all, gave me strength to support the existing suspicions, and to -ivalk -without sinking in that path of sorro\v, persecution, and anguish. 324 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER XXIV. The justice of peace of Lubersaccame to place the seals on my effects. Emma, in telling me of his arrival, begged me, in the name of M. Fleyniat, to burn all the papers and letters "vvhich could compromise me, and to profit by the few minutes yet left me, in putting them beyond the reach of the scrutinising and rigid inquisitions of the law. I made my kind little cousin understand, that such counsel as she gave me in the name of her uncle was unworthy of my innocence ; that being free from remorse, I was also free from fear, and only wished to preserve a packet of letters written by me to M. Lafarge, which had been returned to me in the morning, and in which I hoped to discover facts which might justify me. Prejudiced by the calumnies of the Lafarge MADAME LAFARGE. 325 family, the men of law, as they entered my chamber, cast around them curious and con- demnatory looks, which fell like lead upon me. This first unmerited humiliation was a horrible anguish. My brow reddened ; tears gushed from my eyes ; and I was about to sink under my misfortune, Avhen a look of Emma's, full of hope and love, roused an unknown courage in me, and made me feel that, supported by noble and kindly affections, I could encounter destiny bravely. All my papers were read and commented on j my open albums, my gum, my almond-paste, were gathered together with exaggerated pre- cautions, and a strange excess of threatening significance and ci'uelty. The father of M. Buffiere, leaning against the chimney, appeared to direct their researches, to elicit hatred, and to keep it alive by perfidious and accusing allusions ; and I could scarcely restrain tlie indignation of Emma — the anger of Clementine — and teach them contempt, which preserves us from these two sentiments. All these men had barely left my room, when my servant rushed into it in despair, crying out, '^ My poor mistress, they say that I shall 326 MEMOIRS OF cause you to mount the scaftold, and that I shall mount it too." TeiTor-stricken at this new incident, we had scarcely the power to calm him — to calm our- selves — sufficiently to understand the recital of his terrihly foolish and imprudent conduct ; and which, indeed, compromised me effectually. Clementine had charged him to kill the rats, and had given him the arsenic fetched by Denis. Occupied at the moment, my servant had placed it in an old hat, and had forgotten it for two days ; then, having been Vv-arned of the suspi- cion which had been secretly raised against me, and being fearful that he should be in- cluded in the accusation, if the poison were found in his possession, he had confided his fears to the groom ; and both had thought it prudent to bury the packet of arsenic in the garden. That prudence, however, did not pre- vent their babbling. Their secret, confided to three or four persons, had been denounced to Madame Buffiere ; who, in her turn, had de- nounced it to the justice of peace, who had the packet dug up from the garden. Alfred was severely examined as to his re- cital, and the apparent culpability of his con- MADAME LAFARGE. 327 duct : they threatened him with the scaffold, if he did not avow that he had acted by my orders. They tokl him that his silence would destroy himself without saving me ; that he had opened to them the traces of the crime. And the un- happy youth, who knew me to be innocent, who was devoted to me, and who was above all things a coward, tore his hair, and would have killed himself, that he might not be con- demned to die. I was crushed by this concourse of accusing appearances, and for some time Avas incapable of consoling the very stupid, but very innocent cause of this new charge. At last I reasoned with the poor despairing fellow; told him that he had nothing personally to fear, and enjoined him to be calm, exact, and precise in his words ', then I pardoned him all the involuntary injury he might have done me, and assured him that, as-justice was superior to all appearances, inno- cence should be above all fear. The cook succeeded to Alfred, and came to me as exasperated as he was, but without fear. She came to tell me that Madame Lafarge ac- cused her of having poisoned the cakes sent to Paris ; that they affected to mistrust her, and 328 MEMOIRS OF would take no nourishment prepared by her hands. " It is atrocious/' she added; "it will cause the good God and his saints to blush ! Denis and Buffiere plunder the forge. The mother and daughter are mowing the house like a meadow. There are a parcel of clowns wlio set out every night to Faye, under the escort of the old Buffiere, and come back in the morning to eat and drink all the provisions Avhich remain in the house. It is very pain- ful to see Madame weep and take on so, while we take her interests to heart." I was obliged still to preach patience and silence ; and Alion went tiway weeping, and repeating that I was good as good bread, but that I trusted so much to my honesty of pur- pose, that they would manage to ruin me. I learnt from Mion that the accusations against me had been received with a great deal of indignation by the servants and work- men ; that no one dared to mention them openly in the kitchen. This was a great pleasure to me, for I felt less deserted. Towards evening M. Buffiere wished to see me. In spite of all my repugnance, I yielded MADAME LAFARGE. 329 to his wish, and to the counsel of Emma. He came hypocritically to ask after my health, to tell me that he had been obliged to absent him- self on business, and was quite ignorant why they had decided that there should be an ex- amination of the body. I asked him if he was also ignorant of the accusations of his wife and mother-in-law. He formally denied at first that they were guilty of tJie calumny I imputed to them. But when I cited M. Fleyniat as the person who had informed me, he contented himself with saying they were mad, and that sorrow had bewildered them; then, assuring me of his tenderness with tears, he called him- self my very tender and devoted brother. I soon learnt the motive of this visit and this farce. The paper they had induced me to sign for M. Roque, on the day of M. Lafarge's death, was not available. M. Buffiere wished to make me sign a second, and, in a circuitous way, made me comprehend that such generosity would soften the denunciations of the family by prov- ing my disinterestedness. At this perfidious and odious insinuation, I looked fixedly on him ; and I caused his eyes to fall, and made his brow grow pale beneath my glance. 330 MEMOIRS OF ■' I understand you," I said to him ; " and I swear to you that I will sign no paper until truth shall have confounded both the calumny and those who framed it.'^ " But you deceive yourself with respect to my intentions. If you refuse to sign, M. Roque will declare M. Lafarge a bankrupt — you will ruin yourself — you will disgrace us". . . " My part is taken — it is irrevocable ; M. Roque shall wait the attestation of the sur- geons. I will sign nothing before — you have my last word." On the next day all the members of the fa- mily arrived. Some few only asked to see me. Messieurs Joseph Matere and H. Brugere would not leave me during the sinister proceedings which v,'ere to decide between me and my ene- mies. There was heart in their words and in their looks. I should have preferred being alone in this hour of anguish — still, their pre- sence was not painful to me. That day, an age of anxiety and suffering, was my initiation to the bitternesses of my future. The fatality Avhich attended me having been manifested by the concourse of accusing cir- cumstances which had arisen to crush me MADAME L.AFARGE. 331 during the last ten clays, my conscience was sometinaes powerless to preserve nie from those fearful thoughts that passed through my brain during the trial which was to decide both my life and my honour. My chamber was iso- lated — no news came there. Clementine, Emma, and my two cousins, went in turns to ascertain what v/as going forward. No longer able to conquer my" restlessness, I profited by a mo- ment, when I was left alone, to ask of M. Rivet, jjrocureur du roi at Brives, a short interview. He came, moved and compassionate. He was an aged man, gentle and venerable in appear- ance ; he gave me hope of a happy result, and told me that the operation, already somewhat advanced, had not caused the discovery of the least indication of poison. An hour, two hours more, rolled on — every messenger returned with increased hope in his eyes; at last M. Fleyniat rushed into my chamber — no arsenic had been found ! I cast myself weeping into the arms of Emma, and offered my acknowledged innocence to that sweet girl as the only return worthy of her beautiful devotion. M. Bardon himself came to confirm the good 332 MEMOIRS OF tidings. He told me, that not for one instant had he shared the suspicions ; that the malady had been natural ; that he had always been convinced of it ; and that the presumptuous confidence of M. Lespinas had alone caused so much trouble. He told me^ also^ that M. Lespinas had appeared to remark, during the examination, corrosions and traces of poison, invisible to all his companions. But his opi- nion had been forced to bend to theirs, and he was infuriated at not having been infallible. I asked if all was ended. He told me that there remained some chemical experiments to make upon the drinks which had been preserved. I was surrounded bv friends and concrratula- tions, when the men of justice, the gendarmes, Madame Lafarge, and Madame Buffiere entered, to make me sign the bottles containing the liquids destined for analysis. The first wore a look of compassion ; they reassured me by their words and looks ; tlie ladies, on the con- trarj-, appeared humiliated and affrighted. In marking some of the bottles, I shewed an emo- tion which made my hand tremble, and the registi-ar said to me — '' Reassure yourself, Madame, the opinion MADAME LAFARGE. 333 of these gentlemen is, that arsenic given in such strong and frequent doses would have caused ravages visible to the eye. Reassure yourself, then, there is nothing more to fear." "That is not sure yet," said Madame Buf- fiere, with a voice intended for a sobbing one ; ^' there are some white things in these liquids which are not natural." Madame Lafarge went out, and returned with a bit of flannel. ^^ They have rubbed my son with this flannel, I desire it may be an- alysed." '' I beg you. Messieurs," added she, ^^ to envelop it entirely in paper. The white powder I remarked must not be allowed to evaporate." There was a general movement of surprise. The registrar obeyed in silence. M. Roque, who since the morning had called on me fre- quently, again requested to speak with me. I begged all the family to retire, and was left alone with him. He expressed to me, first, the share he had taken in my troubles, and how pleased he was at tlie happy result of the mea- sures which had justified me. Then he said to me — " My good lady, I have come myself. You 334 MEMOIRS OF are young, separated from your family, verj'' ignorant of business ; I would warn you of the dangers which surround you. Madame Buf- fiere has made you sign a blank power of at- torney, by which m'c might seize your whole fortune. It is here; tear it, and sign instead the little paper I offer you, and which cannot compromise you.^' I was touched by this good faith, which pro- tected my ignorance. I expressed my feelings to him. He asked if I had a solicitor. On learning that I knew no one in the province, and that I had not thought about it, he promised to choose one, and send him to me. I wished to inform my sister and my aunts of the calumnies and persecutions that I had suffered, as well as to inform them of the posi- tive lie given to my accusers by the examina- tion of the body. I seized the first moment of repose to write to them. ^Madame Lafarge, who vras in the kitchen when the labourer Joseph received the order to go to Uzerche to post the letters, immediately ascended to my room, and entered it without being announced. ^' Come, my daughter," she said, embracing MADAME LAFARGE. 335 ine. " Grief had affected my mind. I have accused you unjustly. I beg your pardon, be- fore Emma, before Clementine, in the name of our poor deceased ; do not bear malice." I could make no answer. ''^ I am sure that you are about to annoy and afflict your famil)^, by telling them of your dis- tress and our suspicions. Be reasonable. 1 promise you Me will Ioac j^ou well; Ave will care for your interests as if they were our own. I beg of you, do not disquiet your friends too much." " Oh, Madame, I have suffered so much, that I have need to open my heart to those I love." '' How malicious and susceptible you are !" '^ Susceptible, Madame ! You forget what you have said, while pointing me out to jus- tice and the world : ' Behold the wretch ! be- hold the poisoner !' " Madame Lafarge began to weep, to pray me to be reconciled with her, and to forget my suspicions. She Mas the mother of my hus- band, — an old, unhappy, widowed woman, in mourning for her son : I made an effort there- fore to conquer my sorrowful resentment. 336 MEMOIRS OF '^ A single question yet. Have you told your suspicions to poor Charles ? Have you added the agony of the heart to the agony of the body ? Have you called the curse of a dying man upon my head ? If you can tear from my soul so torturing a thought, I -will then endeavour to forget, and to commence the duty I owe you." My mother-in-law embraced me, and swore she had said nothing to her son. She per- suaded me not to send mj' letters the same evening, and even to write others, which should partially conceal my indignation and my woes. Madame Buffiere being recalled to Faye by her business and her children, came to excuse herself and bid me adieu. She also begged me not to be annoyed at her taking her mother with her, and keeping her for some time at her house. 1 was comforted by this temporary absence. I needed solitude and time to forget the past, and to undertake, not an affection henceforth impossible, but the strict observance of my duties. The news of the departure of Madame Lafarge being spread in the neighbourhood, the labourers and the peasants were indignant MADAME LAFARGE. 337 at her desertion of me. The adjoint and a good old peasant of Blyssac came to reproach her and oppose her project. ^' God will not bless yon," they said, " for thus abandoning your son's widow. Your daughter has her husband ; your davighter-in- law is without family, hope, or children. You must console her, and she must console you. Every one will say that it is infamous of you. The poor dear widow is neither proud nor haughty — she has always a good word for the poor. You must not leave her to go into the country." Madame Lafarge appeared moved by these frank and touching exhortations : she promised to return. As for me, I seized the rough hands of these two men, and I pressed them with all my heart, praying them to come again to see me, and to aid me with their counsels and their kindness. If I have never since seen those honest peasants, I preserve their memory amongst those which have fortified me against sorrow and trial by softening them. VOL. II. 338 MEMOIRS OF CHAPTER XXV. Emma had been compelled to return to Uzerche for two days. I remained therefore alone in these ruins, shattered by time, and now iced by death, — alone, without relations, without friends, with a few devoted servants ; with M. Denis instituted guardian of the seals, and who had declared himself my superintendent and my master. Free then, and believing myself above sus- picion, my first thought had been to return to the bosom of my family, if 1 had not hoped the blessing of becoming a mother — if I had not felt that I should preserve, for my dear little child, the fortune, the family, the friends, of his father. I suffered much ; but the life of my little Jacqueline appeared revealed to me by that very suffering; and I blessed it, and de- rived from it even strength and courage. MADAME LAFARGE. 339 This hope was also the hope of the brave workmen who had attached themselves to me. They made themselves acquainted, by means of Clementine, with the condition of their future mistress ; and when they heard of my sicknesses and of my widened dresses, they were happy, and thought as I did. I was obliged to separate myself from my good foun- ders : I had no work to give them. M. Denis made them endure a martyrdom. I was too weak, too abandoned, to protect them ; so I advised them to take work in a neighbouring forge. They departed weeping, promising me to return at the first word on my part. They all told me the forge was in a deplorable state; that during the last few days every thing port- able had been borne to Faye ; and that there were many reports concerning the enormous, debts M. Lafarge had left. In writing to my aunt Garat, I begged her, in case none of my family could come to Glandier, to send me a solicitor, who might set things in order around me, and give me a little resignation. I shrank appalled from my life and my future duties ; I knew not how I could live alone, far from my friends — q2 340 MEMOIRS OF howl could stifle myimagination uiiderfigures — how I could make my thoughts industrious ; — I ouly knew that if I had a child, 1 should love it so much that all things would become pos- sible for it. M. Roque came, as he had pro- mised me, with his advocate. He had struck a balance in his books, after a scrupulous ex- amination, by which it appeared he was a cre- ditor to the amount of 28,000 francs, which he begged me to secure to him upon my settle- ment. This sum appeared very large to me ; knowing that there were many other creditors, and not wishing to be unjust and give all to one, I asked M. Roque to await the arrival of a member of my family, before entering on this new engagement. M. Roque told me that this delay would force him to take legal pro- ceedings, and that M. deViolaine, my brother- in-law, would find himself mixed up in the matter most disagreeably. As I did not com- prehend how my brother-in-law could have been compromised in these money-matters, he shewed me a letter. He appeared stupified when I assured him that the style, writing, and signature M'ere not those of M. de Vio- laine. MADAME LAFARGE. 341 After a moment's silence, M. Roque drew from his pocket a bundle of bills, and asked me if I knew the names which were written on them ; and as I answered him in the negative, he said that it was horrible — that all these bills were forged ; that M. Lafarge had unworthily swindled him ; and that if he were not dead, he would have sent him to the galleys. I was thvuiderstruck at these words ; but soon learnt the value of money, by repurchas- ing, for 28,000 francs, the honour of the name I bore. I signed, exacting only of M. Roque absolute silence. M. Lalande, M. Roque's lawyer, then en- tered upon my business. He asked me if I had a will ? I told him that I had placed it in my solicitor's hands at Soissons ; but that it was useless, since I believed myself with child. ^' You deceive yourself," he answered j ^^the family say your pregnancy only exists in yow imagination." " But, sir, it is my mother-in-law herself who has employed all her cares, and very many words, to convince me of that which you now deny." 342 MEMOIRS OF " Perhaps it was a good way to prevent M. Lafarge from providing for your future, and of preventing a will in your favour/^ M. Lalande then spoke to me of the calum- nies which had pursued me. He informed me that Madame Lafarge was stopping at Pompa- dour, and had not renounced her odious ac- cusations. I did not disturb myself at this uncharitable conduct of my mother-in-law, nor did it astonish me. I had learnt from a little god-daughter of Ma- dame Buflfiere, before whom they spoke openly enough, that these ladies had been annoyed that no arsenic was found in the body, and that during the whole evening following the examination they would repeat, " How inconceivably unfor- tunate it was to find no poison \" I also learnt that these ladies spoke of me in terms most out- rageous and most hateful. This young girl, whom I scarcely knew until M. Lafarge's re- turn, had shared my watching and care near the invalid. Good and compassionate, she felt assured that I was not guilty, that I might become a victim ; and she had loved me, and had thought it her duty to inform me of the ha- tred secretly indulged towards me. The mo- MADAME LAFARGE. 343 ther of Charlotte, M. Lafarge's nurse, shared the sympathy and generous devotion of her daughter. They have preserved the one and proved the other to the last. Ancient affec- tions, prayers, and threats have shaken neither. May they be honoured in their constancy ! I asked M. Lalande what was the opinion at Brives on the subject of the accusation made against me. He told me that they awaited the result of the experimental researches before pronouncing on it ; but he could not conceal from me that the frequent journeys of Mes- sieurs Magnaud, Buffiere, and Denis, had been hurtful to me, and that if these suspicions strengthened, and I should be placed at a criminal bar, evidence woidd not suffice to exculpate me with the inhabitants of Limousin, always malevolent, envious, and slanderous of strangers. '^ I^ that case, Madame," added M. Lalande, ^' you must fly ; and I will assist your flight be- fore they have taken measures to arrest you — I will be near you. I have a cabriolet, a good horse, and a passport given to my wife, which will suit you to a marvel. I beg you not to 344 MEMOIRS OF refuse my offer. Deign to listen to my voiced which is that of prudence and of reason.'^ I thanked M. Lalande with emotion, but refused his offers. ^' You are wrong," he said to me again ; " a great magistrate has declared, ^ If they accused me of having stolen the towers of Notre Dame, I would fly, rather than await a trial.' " I begged M. Lalande not to weaken my resolution, which I believed to be both ho- nourable and bold, and to allow me to believe in justice as I believed in my innocence. In the end, I accepted with gratitude advice which he gave me, not for flying from, but for resist- ing danger. M. Roque, who continued to display his interest in me, asked me if I had no need of money. I told him, with sufficient embarrass- ment, that I did not possess a sou. He offered me, with great kindness, a cheque on hisbqjikers : I accepted it ; and he had the kindness to send me, on the next day, one for some hundred francs. Emma returned from Uzerche quite as de- voted as she went ; not having allowed her MADAME LAFARGE. 345 friendship to wither or to bend before the foul breath of the wicked, who had endeavoured to shake it. The dull, heavy silence which op- pressed me, made me fear the storm : my conscience could scarcely reassure me. I felt that, from the concussion of so many calumnies, the lightning might evolve to de- stroy me. Every day, every hour, brought us new apprehensions. The letter of the fifteenth of August had been placed in the hands of justice on the day following M. Lafarge's death, as the foundation of the accusations, by M. Buffiere, who, after having offered my head to the axe of the executioner, had re- turned to Glandier that he might lay upon my lips the kiss of peace, and declare himself a stranger to the blamable suspicions of his wife. The powder found in the chicken-broth was recognised as arsenic — the quantity was immense ; and they said it was I who had directed that drink to be given him. Made- moiselle Brun, who had left on the night of the death, with M. Fleyniat, preserved a mysterious silence on all that had passed, but suffered from accusatory nervous attacks, during which, thinking she saw "me putting Q 5 346 MEMOIRS OF arsenic in the chicken-broth, she turned her finger with a frightful and persevering rapidity. She could not sleep alone, and needed a person to reassure her, and listen to her dreams. To sum up all, Denis went through all the towns and villages, relating that during a fortnight I had fed M. Lafarge with arsenic — that he should like to see me cut into pieces ; while Magnaud assured M. Lafarge^s numerous cre- ditors, that, before poisoning him, I had entirely ruined him by my mad extravagance. My letters were intercepted ; I wished to send my faithful Clementine to Paris to tell my family of all my agonies. Her departure M'as denounced — the good creature was about to be arrested and imprisoned, as my accom- plice, if, having been informed of it, I had not again summoned her to my side. Having been told, a day before their arrival, of the coming of the procureur du roi and the jiige (f instruction, I again refused to fly. I remained strong in my will and in my con- science, and prepared myself to undergo an examination with as little fear as possible. I descended deep into my memory ; I sought to recal insignificant circumstances, unperceived MADAME LAFARGE. 34/ in their commencement, which were tortured by calumny into grave and terrible accusations. I also recommended my servants to seek for the truth, and tell it with exactness. M. Brugere, remaining near me, could not, from his family position, direct my defence. He called to my assistance M. Saint Avit, his father-in-law, whose reputation as an advocate extended far beyond Correze and Limousin. The health of M. Saint- Avit did not permit him to come to Glandier, but he sent me his son, who brought me, with the advice dictated by the experience of his father, the generous and frank sympathies of a young and noble heart. I entrusted him with the letters and papers belonging to M. Lafarge which remained in my possession. The procureur du roi and the judge arrived in the morning. The day passed in the inter- rogation of Mademoiselle Brun, Denis, and my servants. I was astonished to find that the wit- nesses communicated freely together, and that they were not allowed to approach me ; and that I was, as it were, confined in my own chamber. I only saw Emma and Clementine, and them not until after they had made their depositions. 348 MEMOIRS OF My poor Emma was troubled and in despair ; she knew not wiiat to make of the box of gum which she had taken from the pocket of my apron, and in which M. Fleyniat had dis- covered arsenic. Emma could not determine to place it in the hands of the procureur du roi — she believed me lost by her fault, and wept : full of fears, regrets, and dark apprehensions, I comforted her, by telling her the poison was far more likely to exist in her uncle's imagination than in the unfortunate box ; but not daring to take upon myself to give her advice, I pressed her to trust her secret to M. Brugere. The deter- mination of our three united consciences was, that the box should be placed in the hands of justice, to shelter ourselves from remorse and suspicion, by acting without deceit, by tel- ling the whole truth, as well that which could injure me as that which might save me. My examination commenced at eight in the evening, and lasted three hours. I had previously thought that I should only have to answer questions connected with the poison, and felt myself firm and bold; but when I saw all my past life unveiled by the MADAME LAFARGE. 349 cold inquiries which sought to bare my very- soul, I could scarcely contain my indignation, or conquer my despair. I felt the tears roll from my eyes — I felt an icy hand weighing on my thoughts — I could scarcely stammer out a few words ; and only regained my self-pos- session when I had to answer accusations as to the odious and material facts of the poisoning alone. Our actions belong to men, but our thoughts to God alone ! So long as those thoughts have not wandered to the lip, been written on parchment, or translated into actions — so long as they have not embodied their joy, their grief, their souvenirs, or their regrets but in the abyss of our soul, they should be tameless, free as the stars of heaven, and far above the despotic inquisitions of the law. The words of the jwje dj' instruction did not allow me long to doubt his prejudices. I saw that the examination of the witnesses had been less directed to discover the guilty one than to convict and crush the one they had prejudged already. I do not think that there was a feel- ing of hatred actuating M. la Ch. ; but there 350 MEMOIRS OF are some understandings too confined to lodge two conflicting ideas at one time. The Lafarge family had first occupied his head, and I now rapped in vain at the gate of the magisterial brain. The procureur du roi fulfilled his painful duty towards me with a gentle and sad com- passion ; he had consideration as great as my misfortune. I was alone with him when he announced to me that I was to be transferred by the police to the prison at Brives. Indig- nant, I immediately rose from my chair, as if to protest my innocence. I fell back mute, chilled, stifled by the fatality of my destiny. I believe I should not have lived ten minutes in this state, if a tear, which fell upon the cheek of my good and loyal prosecutor, had not re- stored me the faculty of weeping. M. Rivet took advantage of that moment to promise me all the kindness in his power. He gave me three days to endeavour to obtain the favour- able interference of the procureur general. He told me how cruelly he felt his duty at that moment; and I found some words to thank him for having so generously softened his MADAME LAFARGE. 351 mournful mission — for having fulfilled the se- vere duty of the magistrate with so much hu- manity. This news fell like a thunderbolt among my domestics. Clementine especially was mad with despair; she ran sobbing into my cham- ber, looked at me, then hid her face that she might see me no more, and shrieked with in- dignation and grief. Emma, who had left me in despair, came back to me. I was astonished at her calmness. '* Clementine," she said, " they have per- mitted you to go to prison with her. I also shall accompany her for some days." '' Oh, God be praised ! I feel that I may live," I cried, pressing in my arms these two noble creatures. " So long as 1 am loved, I can suffer without despair, and without weak- ness. But, dear. Emma, my good guardian- angel, can I allow you to undergo the fatigues, the humiliation, of the journey ? and you my kind Cle, know you what a prison is, far from your family, from your country ?'^ Neither of them permitted me to go on. Clementine wept no more; she spoke of our departure with an air almost joyous. She 352 MEMOIRS OF seemed to forget the misfortune, when they allowed her to share it with me ; and the generous girl thanked me for taking her to prison, not willing to hear her devotions spoken of as any thing but very common ; and she was almost affronted by my gratitude. That same day the gendarmes arrived and installed themselves at Glandier. That same day also, M. Brugere, ending his generous and pro- tecting mission, set out for Limoges, in order to procure from the procureur general permission for me to remain in my own house, under the guard of a file of gendarmerie. This journey had no result. He found M. Dumont-Saint- Priest, already greatly pi-ejudiced against me. Magnaud, Buffiere, and Denis had instilled their calumnies into his mind. Several members of his familj-, friends of Mesdames Buffiere and Lafarge, had described to him their touching despair, my cruel and odious conduct. He had no pity for a monster. I expected a refusal, and was not made too unhappy by it. The sad mansion of Glandier appeared every day more deserted and more dreary — I was afraid .... There had been a crime ; there was an assassin ! Who was he ? MADAME LAFARGE. 353 I made Alfred and the labourer Joseph sleep across my door, and yet in the night I started at the least noise. The wind howling through the corridors frightened me. Sometimes even I turned my lips, with trembling, from the drinks which were about to slake my thirst. Oh yes ! I was afraid, dreadfully afraid ; for if the author of the crime had not recoiled from substituting my head for his own on the scaffold, might not events create an interest and an im- pression which would oblige him to sacrifice himself the victim he had wished to destroy in the name of the law ? The insolence of Denis was no longer bounded. One evening he entered my chamber in a state of complete drunkenness ; and placing himself opposite my bed, he leant on it, and drew me a disgusting picture of my prison, the brutality of the jailors, the degradation of the women, whose labours, bed, and repast, I should share. Then changing the subject, he advised me to decamp ; to procure money, and trust in him ; that he could easily get me beyond the fron- tier. Lastly, as I raised my head with scorn, and ordered him to leave the room, he went away, murmuring — 354 MEMOIRS OF '^ Yes, raise it ; raise your princely head. The executioner will lower it for you famously." I was so terrified by this scene, that I ad- dressed myself to the gendarmes who guarded me, to pray them to interdict the door of my apartment to that wretched man, who might become dangerous in the brutality of drunken- ness. M. de Tourdonnet was in Berry : every one whom I had seen abandoned me in the hour of danger, — all, except Emma, who had become my guardian-angel, and the young ad- vocate with whom I had passed two hours at Tulle. Oh, how I thanked him for having believed in my innocence ! M. Lachaud sent me no common consolations ; but he granted to the poor, humiliated, disgraced woman his devotion and his respect — may Heaven bless him for it ! It was one in the morning when the briga- dier of the gendarmerie came to tell me the hour of departure had arrived, and that horses waited us. I had selected and obtained the advanced hour of the night to ride on horse- back to Vigeois, where my carriage awaited me. To leave my chamber I was obliged to cross MADAME LAFARGE. 355 that of M. Lafarge. There reigned not there that cahii of death which breathes into the heart a consolation and a prayer, but a sad and omi- nous disorder. I went to kneel beside that bed of grief. " Charles !" I mentally exclaimed, "Charles ! you see what I suffer — you know my inno- cence, — from the height of heaven watch over me, enlighten my judges, be the providence of her whom you have loved/' I rose strengthened, and descended into the corridor, whose sombre vaults, lighted by torches, resounded with the neighing of horses, with their impatient pawings, and with the ring of metal caused by the long sabres of the gen- darmes trailing on the ground. The domestics of the house, my own la- bourers, the poor inhabitants of our domains, waited for me at the foot of the staircase with sobs and tears. Some seized my hands, others kissed the hem of my gown, while they would exclaim, '^ Poor lady, may God accompany you and bring you back ! Go ; we well know that it is not you who have caused him to die. We will offer to God des neuvaines [nine days' 356 MEMOIRS OF devotion] for you. Poor woman ! Poor, poor wo- man ! Must we thus look on your destruction ?" These touching testimonies of regret and affection did me much good, but made me much worse at the same time. I abandoned my hands to those of these honest men in tears. I embraced these good women, who vowed tapers to the Virgin to obtain my return among them, and who made upon me the sign of the cross. This scene exhausted me. The brigadier carried, ratlier than led me, to my horse. " Adieu ! adieu ! poor lady ; may God pre- serve you !" again cried all the good souls who surrounded me. " Adieu ! I am innocent. Adieu ! pray for me." The rain fell frozen from a starless heaven ; the moon continued veiled in the grey and troubled vapour of the clouds ; and the groan- ing wind whirled the dead leaves of the chest- nut-trees around us. I had let the reins fall upon the neck of Arabska, who paced slowly on, with lowered head. I had one of my hands in that of Emma, and wept bitterly. MADAME LAFARGE. 357 After two hours, the peasant who acted as our guide lost his waj^; the gendarmes did not know the road, which, always very bad, was now a bog or a torrent ; and I was com- pelled myself to serve as a guide along the road which perhaps conducted me to death. This necessity of watching over the safety of others ; the thoughts of danger, always alluring and sweet when life weighs heavy on the heart ; the motion ; the excitement, — calmed the agony of the departure. The rain had soaked through my dress. An honest gendarme covered me with his cloak, and deprived himself of his large gloves to warm my chilled hands; and after five hours' journeying we arrived at Vigeois. The excellent man reminded me that Clemen- tine had recommended me to his care, and he would himself dry and chafe ray feet, numbed by the cold. M. Fleyniat offered to accompany me as far as Brives ; I accepted his offer gratefully. The emotions and fatigues of the night had over- come me ; it became necessary therefore for us to stop half-way, that I might obtain a few hours' repose; it was consequently already very late when we arrived at Brives. 358 MEMOIRS OF MADAME LAFARGE. My arrival was expected. The populace crowded round my carriage ; shouts, laughter, gross and insulting words fell on my ears. The prison-door opened ; at the sound of the bolts I involuntarily recoiled; I made two steps backwards, then, collecting all my strength, with desperate courage I crossed the threshold of my tomb ! THE END. LONDON : PRINTED BY PALMER AND CLAYTON, 10 Crane Court, Fleet Street. )v^cy ^.OFCA; ,^OFCAIIFO% ^^^\^EUNIVER% ^^lOSANCflfj-^ ! UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY •— . ! ^ Los Angeles \ I ! j( This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. i^vO A^^ 10 'O^ JUAI0 6 1988 A NOV 12 198! 35m-8,'71 (P634784)-C-120 lie /JJO ^ % ^(I/OJIIV .^,OFCAIIFO% .-A^OFCALI^L,^ ■/r\ t 111 iii/«i 3 1 IIIIIIIIIIIMIMlllll 58 00744 9944 AA 000 857 422